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sunflowerxthoughts · 1 year

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Heyyy I really love your writing!!, I have a request and I don’t know if you do angst and if you don't that is okay! but if you do, can you do one that is like the song "the one that got away" by Katy Perry, angst but if you want you can switch it up at the end to fluff or something that would make the viewers happy because I know they would want a part two of you keep like just angst at the end, YOUR CHOICE, your writing.!!

Thank you so muchhh!!!!

Oh my god, first of all, THANK YOU for reading, this whole thing made me super happy and I had to write it as soon as I had a moment. I hope you like it and it will have a longer part 2 if people like it! I hope you didn't mind I used Sirius, if you want another character I'm more than happy to write another one. I took some liberties with the plot because fuck you Joanne, we support trans rights in this household.

That being said, as always this blog is +18 only and tw for abuse.

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY - SIRIUS BLACK X FEM! READER

Sirius and Y/N. Two peas in a pod all through life. Grew up together disliking both of their families views, only one could escape. She felt so relieved when she knew he was with the Potters, James wished she could save her too. It just wasn’t that easy.

The only daughter to a pureblood family, she was bound to get married, continue the family line and carry the legacy of the Dark Lord. She didn’t want that. She cherished her times at school because she knew, the second she graduated there would be a ring on her finger or a grave with her name.

Sirius and Y/N, who never said they loved each other but everyone knew. They knew from the way they looked at each other, from the sneaking together at night just to look at the stars and hope for the best. It was an unspoken thing, everybody knew it was beyond puppy love. She was even the reason Regulus and Sirius still spoke to each other, and both of them has the sneaky feeling that she’d be married off to the youngest Black.

Though she was not a Marauder she was part of the friend group. She proved to Lily she was not going to harm her and she matched in attitude and humour with Marlene. She was already chastised for being in Gryffindor, but she knew the friends she made were worth the screaming matches at home. And when Lily got pregnant at the end of their seventh year, she was made the godmother along Sirius with a second thought.

It was picture perfect until it wasn’t. She had a godson, great friends, a not so secret boyfriend, a bright future as a healer and her whole life ahead. Until she didn’t. As soon as she graduated she was engaged to another man, she had to scape to meet Harry and tell her friends what was going on and they had let her know she would fight with the Dark Lord either if she wanted to or not, yet they kept her and Regulus out of the meetings.

Sirius made it clear his freedom was before anything else, and you simply can’t ask an abuse kid who just got out to get back in. So she was alone. She knew, she knew about Peter, about Reg wanting to rebel. Everything, but she never got to tell. Sirius went to prison, leaving her confused. And when she got to scape it was too late. The only good thing about all of this was the fact that she got to keep in touch with Remus, she didn’t even get to take Harry with her.

“She will be here any minute now.” Remus frets as he prepares tea. The Order has just been reunited in Sirius’ old house and she has been recruited as a healer to help. She couldn’t say no.

“Who?” Asks a curious Ginny, who is more than eager to know what is going on in those meetings.

“Harry’s godmother.”

“My what now?”

“No one told him?” Asks Molly in a less than happy tone. “Harry darling, we thought you knew. She was Sirius… Uh-“

“Girl, she was Sirius’ girl.”

“Thank you, Remus. Her story is up to her to tell you about, but Dumbledore, he had his reasons I’m sure. She was still at risk.” Harry looks angrier, he can’t believe he could have been in a safer place before. “Sirius he-“

“He wasn’t ready to give up his freedom quite yet.” It’s a hard topic for Remus, they were his family after all. “She doesn’t resent him. She spent years waiting, Harry. For you, for him. She grieved your parents alone. And at some point it was clear to her she had to move on.”

“Did she?”

“I’m not sure. She has worked as a healer for years, she didn’t marry anyone else. She just learnt that life goes on and waits for no one. We still keep in contact, she will forever be my best friend. Even after everything that happened, we still have each other’s backs.”

“Does Sirius know?”

“I don’t think he does, no. This could either go really well, or really bad.”

“What could go bad?”

“Oh Merlin! Y/N!”

There she was. As Sirius would say, she aged like fine wine. She found comfort in Remus embrace, she always had, like a platonic soul sister. Seeing Harry again was a shock she wasn’t ready for. It was like seeing the ghost of her best friends in the form of a kid. She knew then and there that seeing Sirius was something she wasn’t sure she would recover from. She wanted to leave, but she couldn’t and it wasn’t until that after the meeting that Sirius dragged her out of the room and she couldn’t say no.

“My love…”

“Sirius I-“

“You look even more beautiful than I imagined.”

“I can’t do this right now.”

“I didn’t do it I swear.”

“I’ve know it was Peter this whole time, Siri. I’ve told anyone who would listen for years, but no one believed me. It’s not that-”

“Are you mad at me because I ran away?”

“Oh no. I could never resent you for escaping. We both know what happened behind closed door wasn’t easy for anyone and I’m glad you got out. And yeah, I sometimes wish I could have gotten out too. But you had a brother and I didn’t, Si. It was my destiny.”

“But you- you got out!”

“I- I don’t want to talk about those times anymore, please. I don’t want to be reminded of the pain again.”

“We can start a new life together, my darling. We can live here with Harry, hell maybe even Remus too. Make James and Lils proud. We can be a family again.”

“I don’t think I can, Si. It’s not that easy for me.”

“You moved on?”

“No. I could never. You were it for me, but this is all a bit much. How can I look at Harry without breaking down? Do I just stop my life now? What if we aren’t just made for each other?” She sobbed, “I’ve missed you to death, all of you. But I don’t know if I’m ready to live with ghosts of the past, Sirius. I don’t know if I want to risk losing a stable life that has been all I have ever fought for. There is a second war so close, and I don’t know if I am ready to go through everything all over again. I don’t want to lose you again.”

“Two month is all I ask for. One month with Harry and Remus, and when they leave for Hogwarts, the two of us. Please. I just got you back, I don’t want to lose you again.”

#siruis black x reader #sirius black angst #sirius black fluff #requested #the marauders #sirius black #sirius black x fem!reader #young sirius black #the marauders era #young sirius black fanfic #young sirius black x reader

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roalinda · 10 months

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good day! hope you're doing fine! canon gave us prongsfoot shippers little, but my god the quality… today i'm fixated on how Sirius was gushing about James. Something so simple and raw about it. 'You fly as well as your father did, Harry' he said in Shrieking Shack about only highlight of that mad post-Azkaban year. He reminiscented with affection how James used to mess up his hair [while Harry was angsting about swm honestly the timing]. 🤦😅 [1/2]

Hi anon!

I'm doing fine. 😊 and prongsfoot asks always makes my day shine brighter. ♡

You are absolutely right! I don't want to sound biased or anything (because what I'm going to say is a simple reality) but the only pairing that actually makes sense for Sirius or for James (not taking Jily which is canon into account here) is prongsfoot a.k.a themselves. I have never understood the point or the logic of lots of other James or Sirius fanon pairings. True, prongsfoot is fanon as well but it is - oh, come on, of course they were together! - kind of fanon based on what we get in the book. If one doesn't ship them romantically, the platonic soul mate love is undeniable. Problem is that a lot of people ignore canon as if it doesn't exist in favour of works like ATYD (which I respect the writer and the people who enjoy it of course) or somehow just make up random excuses about James and Sirius' relationship. I don't want to start a ship war or anything here, so I guess I should stop ranting about it. I understand that it's a fictional world, so ships can exist with the policy of - what if - in shipping but to be honest these what ifs have become kind of ridiculous.

Sorry, I strayed from the topic. Canon gave us little quantity but a great quality, not to mention Sirius always mentioning James' name in every topic that comes up, from quidditch to bravery (probably even James' tooth paste flavour behind the scenes).

Sirius is one awesome character. He was so passionate, so full of life, so bright and it was stolen from him all in one night. I believe a part of him died with James for good. A part that even if he was a free man would remain dead. Some may think it was rash of him to go after Peter, seeking revenge but I think he did the most logical thing, (may or may not on purpose). Yes, he was angry and vengeful to the point of insanity but if he had managed to catch Peter, it would prove his innocence. But I believe the most painful part of this tragedy is that James Potter and Sirius Black, the ones who Peter always hid behind them and were the strongest pillars of the marauders, fell by the hands of the one they put their trust into. The guilt is more suffocating for Sirius because James kept wanting him. He wanted Sirius to have his life in his hands and only agreed to switch the secret keepers because Sirius said so.

James trusted Sirius with his life, literally and practically. Not only his own life, but his wife and son's life as well. He was putty and trusting in Sirius' hands, and I believe if Sirius was in James' situation, he would trust no one but James and his words as well. This is the broken part inside Sirius or at least one of them. To me, he was in a self-induced guilty coma all the while in Azkaban, trying to keep himself sane until he saw the danger which burned him awake to get to his godson.

He is so proud of Harry, of the way he flies, of how brave he is, how similar he is to James. Molly Weasley (and others) can say whatever they want, Sirius doesn't see Harry as James though. It is disrespectful to what he shared with James. Sirius is sarcastic and cruel and arrogant, but not to the people whom he holds dear. He has a heart of gold with them. I cannot help but to feel really emotional over the first time he saw Harry ( when he was angrily leaving his aunt's house ) and then remembering how it was similar to the way he ran to James' arms house. Like imagine the comfort he found there. The home he found there with James. They would watch the stars together and Sirius would talk about ancient astronomy while James would come up with the strangest yet the most complicated magical theories based on them, something like turning Slytherin's common room golden and red under Venus' orbit; an essay or the runes macabre.

If Sirius remained the secret keeper and died for James, I think it would drive James insane with grief as well because he too would blame himself. The fandom is going to obliterate me for this, but maybe he did agree to switch secret keepers to keep Sirius safe. James was a kind soul who cared for all his friends but Sirius was just another level. Sirius was half of his soul and we all know that James can be arrogant and self-centred (affectionate) . It is just a very cruel HC of mine though. But he didn't know that he sacrificed and crushed Sirius' soul in the process. (as I said HC )

But beyond the veil he stands, after years of watching Sirius from afar and longing, and receives Sirius into his arms as he sobs along with him, both asking for the other's forgiveness.

Sorry for the dramatic last part and thank you for the ask. ♡

#Prongsfoot asks #Prongsfoot #sirius black #James potter #I'm so crybaby and soft for them 🥺

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ailalovegood · 2 years

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Dancing with the Devil

Pt. 1

Pairings: Tom Riddle x Fem Gryffindor Reader

Note: **This is set in the Seventies with the marauders**

Here I was, finding myself back at the Hogwarts express, going into my fifth year at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry.

After boarding, which took a bit, allbeit, my fault, I wasn't going to see my parents for a bit, and I wanted to treasure my last few moments with them.

Because I had done this, there were little to no seats left, so I was left rushing to find a suitable seat when I had stumbled across a pretty much empty compartment.

Except for the fact that there was a raven haired boy who was writing in a leather diary with the words, "Tom Marvolo Riddle" engraved on it.

"Hey, can I sit here? Everywhere else is full, heh."

I subconsciously scratched the back of my neck with a small laugh.

He just looked up at me, his curls slightly bouncing as he did. His pale green eyes stared straight into my soul.

He was incredibly handsome, and him staring at me made me even more nervous.

"Can't you find somewhere else?"

He glared at me.

"Erm, no, everywhere else is full..."

He scoffed and went back to his writing, completely ignoring me.

"Sir?-"

"Sit."

He said as he continued to write.

I dragged my belongings into the small compartment, cast them aside, then sat down opposite him.

Wanting to break the awkward silence, I decided to introduce myself.

"I'm Y/n L/n, and you must be Tom Riddle, right? It's engraved on your diary."

He stopped writing and looked up at me like I was stupid.

"First of all, I don't care. Second of all, don't talk to me."

"Sorry,"

I sighed, he obviously didn't want to talk, and I wasn't going to push him.

Though, that didn't stop me from being the absolute bitch I am.

"Party pooper,"

I whispered

"Pardon?"

"Oh, nothing."

I gave him a sweet smile.

He just rolled his eyes and stood up.

"Where are you going?"

I asked.

"Don't worry about it."

He slammed the door behind him.

"Lovely."

I sighed. I mean..since he's done I might as well get changed into my robes.

I got my uniform out, slipped off my shoes and pants first, then took off my shirt.

I slid on my skirt, then grabbed the button down. I started to button the bottom buttons when the door slid open.

I was met with Tom. He stared at me and I stared straight back.

"Not going to ask."

He stared and the exposed part of my body, then rolled his eyes and sat down again, immersing himself in a book about the dark arts.

I awkwardly finished getting dressed, then sat down.

"I Erm-

Thought you were going to be gone longer."

He didn't look up, and only sighed.

"Whatcha readin' Riddle?"

I asked, sliding over to sit next to him.

"I'm in no way interested in talking, so stop bothering me."

I ignored him and looked over his shoulder.

"The Cruciatus Curse?"

He elbowed me to shove me away, then fixed his jacket with an annoyed huff.

"You're bad at taking hints, you know?"

"What year are you in?"

"Stop talking."

"What year?"

I asked, ignoring him.

"Ughh. Sixth, now shut the fuck up."

"I'm on my fifth yea-"

"God you Gryffindor's are so annoying!"

He groaned.

My owl, who had been asleep, screeched at him.

"Okay, can you please let me be?!"

"...Okay, I'm sorry."

"Thank you."

He breathed out dryly.

"iS tHaT tEnSiOn I hEaR?!"

Lily, my best friend, slammed the door open with a smile.

"Really?"

Tom was proper angry now.

"Riddle."

Lily acknowledged.

"Evans."

He said bitterly.

"Anyway, Y/n, want to come sit with Severus, Molly, and I? We finally got Remus, James, and Sirius to leave us alone."

"uhm..."

I did want to sit with my friends, but I also didn't want to lug all of my stuff to another compartment.

"No, I don't really want to move all my stuff."

"I get it. Well, cya at school my love!"

She yelled, leaving the car.

"My love?''

"She's my best friend."

"You love your friends?''

"You don't?"

"I don't love anyone."

He stated, matter-of-factly.

"Why not?"

"No one worth loving."

"What about your parents?"

I asked.

"Well if you really must know, my father was a filthy muggle that left me, and my mother died. But I'm fine on my own. Now please be quiet."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, just shut up."

#Tom riddle #Hogwarts #Gryffindor Female Reader #Tom Riddle x Reader #Fem Reader #Enimes To lover's #enimes and lovers #Hogwarts fluff #Angst

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padfootastic · 1 year

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The only way I can even accept the betrayal of the Potters being universally regarded as so horrible in the Wizarding World is because it almost let Voldemort win. I’m guessing that somehow people knew the attack on the Potters was instrumental in the war, in terms of Voldemort’s plans, because otherwise it makes no real sense about why this particular attack is seen as so awful (everyone knows the story and regards it as one of the worst events of the First War, but like, entire families got wiped out in the war but we only really hear of it by Moody showing Harry the Order photo and telling him their tragic fates and possibly Molly talking about her brothers. Neville’s parents were tortured to death, we’re told this caused an uproar, yet we hear jack about it for years?). I can buy the public thinking Sirius was a spy after the Potters attack (people who knew Sirius should have asked questions though, since they knew how much Sirius loved James and guess what else? There’s nobody who could 100% say Sirius was the Secret Keeper; while everyone believed he was, there was no actual confirmation anyone could provide since he very much was not the SK), but the whole “right hand” thing makes no sense. Where’d they get “he was second in command” from “he betrayed two people and worked for Voldemort, killing 12 muggles and an old friend with one spell”? Who even makes a spy second in command? Why did nobody interrogate Voldemort’s supposed right hand for information on the Death Eaters, since it took a while to find the remaining members and they still missed some, and Voldemort’s alleged second would surely have that information?

tbh even that assumption is just—so far fetched? because i’m sure secrecy was at an all time high, everyone was paranoid and afraid, i’m sure no one knew anything. like, i feel like the potter’s attack was given the significance that it was purely because of its ultimate consequences ykno? like if harry wasn’t the boy who lived, no one would care so much. there’s also this element of extremely poor plot planning too imo, similar to the whole mother’s love protection thing because,,,there must’ve been countless mothers/parents who sacrificed themselves and yet it was just the potters that reaped some mystical benefits of it? bull. same with the betrayal of the potters being considered as terrible as it was in the middle of war. jkr just,,,wanted some shit done and didn’t care how much she had to manoeuver other things around to shove it in and so u have stuff like this.

and god, it’s just a constant problem for me that sirius was never interrogated? honestly, i know it was needed for plot purposes, but sirius is really one of the biggest reasons why i think dumbledore is much darker/manipulative than most people think of him. while i wouldn’t say he got sirius thrown in azkaban, i will say he probably turned a blind eye on purpose bc it just served his needs so well. otherwise, if that’s not the case and he really just neglected to perform his duties as a war leader by not interrogating a suspected spy—then he just comes off even worse ykno?

#sirius black #i’ve mentioned this before but one of my most toxic traits is deciding how i feel about a character on the basis of sirius #how did they treat him. how did they act around him. what r their vibes. etc etc.#sirius just. has such a strong hold on me i cannot #also chess master dumbledore is just. so fucking mercenary. and i fully beloved it to be true too #i don’t buy the whole benevolent grandather thing #no matter how fun it is to read #gg!dumbles is always a mix of horrific and funny just bc of how utterly unhinged he is #i don’t think we was evil. just. ykno a guy trying to win a war by any means necessary #anyway that’s enough about a man who wasn’t even mentioned in this ask lol #pen’s asks

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tobythenewt · 1 year

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this is full of spoilers. (crimson rivers!!)

just wanted to post my bookmark notes on this because its the longest one i've ever written - and it's mainly just things that stood out to me, and has so many spoilers so warning!!!

This was actually one of the most amazing fics ive ever read - every single detail was perfect. I hardly even have the words to talk about how beautiful it was because it was so very lovely and I think it's genuinely one of those things that's changed me forever.

starting from the beginning, evan and his death and how even though regulus and evan didn't know each other for long, evan was such an important person in his life and helped him through so many hardships. The full circle at the end was fucking beautiful as well. The scene where regulus tips himself into the river and is ready to die, while james is ready to drink the poison. that was fucking amazing.

Pandora and Dorcas the whole way through were amazing - just a side note. Remus and sirius' whole relationship was so beautiful, remus learning how to be himself and to be free again, sirius learning how to be true to himself and be more present and all of that. omfg.

before we move on, the whole entire devastation that circled regulus and james' relationship while they were fully just a symbol to the hallow. I cannot describe the amount of pain that brought me.

The second round of the hunger games. fuck me, man. sirius once again volunteering and regulus going in anyway when he volunteers for james. goddamn. That whole part where regulus keeps saying to james "everything I do in the arena is for you, james" like I cannot do that. His whole plot of getting sirius to kill him so james would have sirius and sirius would be able to live. regulus' whole plotline is so fucking devastating but i am so glad he got a happy ending. WITH THE BOOKSHELF AND DANCING IN THE FIRELIGHT. sobbing. also that scene where sirius realises and HAS ALMOST KILLED HIM. yep that one broke me.

another quick mention to all the times sirius slipped away into his own head and remus knew and took care of him, even in the wedding? cutest thing ever.

oh my goodness, when remus and regulus were in the Phoenix and james and sirius weren't there, heartbreaking at all times.

AND IN THAT WHOLE SECTION OMFG: monty and regulus' relationship was so fucking adorable the entire time, they were so lovely together and no death hurt me more than monty's im not even joking. and also regulus and aberforth's relationship and hatred for each other deserves a mention because that was amazingly written and was such a parallel i don't know how to describe it.

The war. there was so much going on during this time. rescuing james and sirius was amazing, sirius and remus' little spat after sirius hurt him was painful but so well done I am so glad it was there, plus remus being the cure to the biological warfare was amazing too.

briefly - I thought both effie and monty died pretty early on and that was painful!! plus when we didn't know that riddle was killing the officials, pandora's death hit me so hard.

Oh my fucking god. barty's death. he was second on the painful scale after monty because honestly, he was such an amazing character with regulus and I loved their dynamic with everything i have. I remember reading that his arm got torn off and i was on the EDGE OF MY SEAT. then i was like PHEW ! the hallows are pulling through and then they all got mowed down and regulus laid next to barty, finding comfort in his heartbeat until the consistency they'd always had broke when his heart stopped. fucking goddamn. that was so fucking sad.

okay post war now, i don't want to think about that again. quick shout out to molly and arthur for shocking everyone with their billions of kids. dorcus' grief for marlene was one of the hardest chapters i've ever read. how she was stuck in such an awful place, then went home, to cordie, then turned to alcohol. honestly that's all i can say there because it was so fucking painful. then she went to minnie and poppy, dried out, learned to live without and accept life without marlene, and ended up being amazing and running the foster place!

also! sirius telling dorcas marlene was going to propose was devastation but beauty all at once. ALSO I LOVE LYALL AND SIRIUS' DYNAMIC ABSOLUTE FAVES FR. also stella, everyone's emotional support dog, is amazing love her. I love the kids as well, im running out of space to write things to be honest, but teddy's character, though short, was fucking amazingly written and I love how it was done.

Also regulus accidentally falling in love w marcel and malcom when baby sitting? fave as well. oh my god i haven't said anything about mary and lily yet? i love those two with my whole heart, plus bingley is the cutest and everything about those three was amazingly written.

SIDE NOTE: sirius proposing to remus with a spoon. love that so much and the whole meaning behind all of it omfg.

OKAY LAST THING. sybill and king. that was so fucking heartbreaking honestly because they were made for each other here, and the way that king never really came back to everyone? parallels between king and dorcas break my heart. i loved this <3

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thethreebroomsticksficfest · 2 years

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Rebel, Rebel

Day 7 is a second submission from @starlingflight, Read it on AO3 here

Title: Rebel, Rebel

Author: StarlingFlight

Pairing: Gen - Ginny and Sirius

Warnings: None

Prompt: Blue Christmas

A/N: This is a prequel to my fic All Right Now on AO3

Most people, Sirius supposed, found sanctuary and peace in solitude but he found only misery. He had been alone for months, with only the occasional visiting Order member for company and it had been a nightmare. Nothing but endless time in which to reflect on how everything had gone so horribly wrong. It was almost as bad as being back in Azkaban – at least in Azkaban he had the dementors for company, rather than his mother’s shrieking portrait and Kreacher’s endless lamentations.

For that reason alone, it had been a relief for Sirius to learn he would be playing host to the Weasley’s for Christmas. He had been overjoyed to discover Harry would be joining them as well.

All the things that had seemed unendurably terrible – the fact that he was now locked in a house he’d sworn to never set foot in again, that Voldemort was on the rise once more, that Harry had endured unimaginable trauma and was obviously struggling to cope with it – suddenly seemed much more manageable now that Sirius was no longer facing the prospect of a fourteenth Christmas alone.

The mood in Grimmauld Place had only improved since then. The Weasleys had returned from their trip to St. Mungo’s yesterday looking extremely relieved and pleased with their father’s condition. Sirius had wasted no time capitalising on everyone’s good mood and had eagerly retrieved the old tree and Christmas decorations from the attic. The house was still rather dusty but the addition of tinsel and baubles had gone a long way to providing some festive cheer.

If only Harry would come out of his room, Sirius thought as he used his wand to guide a garland of holly and ivy around the second floor bannister, it would be the perfect Christmas.

“Er, Sirius?” A voice asked from the landing below.

Sirius turned, hopeful that he would find Harry staring up at him. It was only with a slight pang of disappointment that he saw Ron leaning awkwardly against the wall, holding a rolled piece of parchment in his hand.

“Everything alright?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah,” Ron said, though he didn’t sound entirely convincing. He waved the piece of parchment in Sirius’ direction. “Is it alright if Hermione comes for Christmas? She’s going to get the Knight Bus if it’s okay with you?”

“Of course!” Sirius said at once. He did not try and hide his enthusiasm at the prospect of another houseguest. The more the merrier had never been a truer statement. “Tell her I’d be delighted to have her!”

Ron grinned sheepishly. Sirius very much doubted any letter written by him would be that effusive, though he was quite sure that Sirius’ joy at the prospect of having Hermione join them was only eclipsed by Ron’s.

“Alright,” Ron said. Sirius noted the faint hint of pink at the tips of his ears. “She’ll be here this evening.”

Without awaiting a response, Ron turned and headed back down the stairs. Sirius returned to his task of decorating the bannisters. He finished the second floor staircase and moved to the third, humming God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs as he worked.

The noise reached him as he stepped onto the third floor landing. Loud bass pulsed down the hallway, strongly reminding Sirius of the muggle nightclubs he and James used to sneak into during the summer after their sixth year at Hogwarts.

The bannisters were completely forgotten as curiosity got the better of him and Sirius started walking in the direction of the music. Coming to a stop when he reached the closed doorway of the bedroom which was currently being used by Ginny and soon, Hermione.

Sirius frowned at the door. The music was so clearly muggle, he couldn’t imagine how Ginny had got hold of it. Without thinking, he knocked loudly on the door.

Almost instantly, the music quietened to what he was sure Molly Weasley would call an ‘acceptable’ volume. Footsteps sounded on the other side of the door before it was swiftly wrenched open. Ginny stood framed in the doorway, her face flushed as red as her hair. Perhaps Sirius might have thought the new pallor of her complexion was from dancing if not the puffiness surrounding her red-rimmed eyes.

“Sorry,” She said breathlessly upon seeing Sirius in front of her. “I’ll keep it down.“

“It’s quite alright,” Sirius said easily. “I’ve no problem with the volume. Your choice in music, however, needs work.”

Ginny smiled shyly up at him. “Hermione gave it to me. She said it helps her feel better.”

“Need some cheering up, do you?” Sirius regretted the question immediately. Cheering people up was not his forte in the slightest. He had proven himself rather more skilled at failing everyone he loved and being entirely useless.

He needn’t have worried, however, as Ginny’s response was to fold her arms across her chest and narrow her eyes in defiance. “No,” she said. “I’m fine.”

“There’s no shame in it,” Sirius said in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. “I imagine if you like your family, it’s quite difficult when one of them is ill.”

Ginny looked down at the ground. Her arms crossed tighter around herself as though she was trying to physically hold herself together. “The healers say he’s going to be alright.”

“Nothing to worry about then,” Sirius said, his voice brimming with forced cheer. “Well, aside from your awful choice in music.”

To his immense relief Ginny laughed in response to this. “I liked it!” she argued.

“No,” Sirius shook his head vehemently from side to side. “This is terrible. We must work on your musical education.” He removed his wand from his pocket and gestured to the room behind Ginny. “May I?”

Ginny nodded and stepped further inside, making room for Sirius to enter. He flicked his wand and a pile of records appeared in the small amount of floorspace between the twin beds pushed against the walls. Sirius stepped carefully over the records and lowered himself on to the far bed.

“You don’t have to,” Ginny said, looking curiously between Sirius and the records. “I’m sure you have better things to do.”

Sirius couldn’t contain his laughter at the absurdity of her suggestion. “I assure you I have nothing better to do. Shouldn’t you be off making merry mischief with the other kids though?”

Ginny shrugged and flopped down onto what he assumed was her, rather untidy, bed. “Fred and George are busy working on their Wheezes. Ron and Harry are probably together – if Harry’s finished avoiding everyone.”

Sirius forced his face to remain neutral. His suspicions that Harry was indeed avoiding him – and everyone else, apparently were now confirmed.

“You don’t want to be with them?” he asked curiously.

He remembered being a teenager locked up in this grim house at Christmas. He would have given anything to have a group of other kids to hand around with. There had been Regulus, of course, but he had always been too busy doing his best impression of a perfect young pureblood to be any fun.

Ginny shrugged again, her head bopping along to the overly saccharine crooning of the muggle singer declaring rather circuitously that she wanted to dance with somebody. “They didn’t ask me to join them,” she said. Sirius couldn’t help but note the hint of bitterness in her voice. “It never occurred to them that I might be able to help. That I might have experienced things they never hav-“

Ginny stopped talking abruptly. Her cheeks – which had returned to their usual pale, freckled complexion – tinged pink.

Sirius was struck by a memory from months ago.

A chilly night not long after Harry had returned to Hogwarts. The clock had just struck midnight and he’d had trouble sleeping. He’d come downstairs just in time to run into Bill, returning from his watch at the Department of Mysteries.

Bill nodded his head in silent acknowledgement as he unfastened his cloak and hung it, carefully on the peg by the door.

Sirius nodded back. He crept past his mother’s portrait – currently silent behind the thick hangings which concealed her – and pointed wordlessly towards the stairs to the kitchen.

Bill followed him down, neither of them making a sound until they had entered the basement kitchen and Sirius had closed the door behind him.

“Firewhiskey?” Sirius asked. He removed his wand from the pocket of his velvet dressing gown and conjured a half-full bottle of amber liquid and two glasses without awaiting a response.

Bill smiled gratefully as he sank into a chair in front of the fireplace, lighting it with a flick of his wand.

“Thanks,” he said, plucking a glass and the bottle from the air and pouring a healthy measure.

“Long night?” Sirius asked.

Bill didn’t answer immediately, choosing to take a long pull from his drink first. Sirius took the seat across from him and poured himself a glass. He savoured the way the heat from the fire crept over him, the way he’d once imagined it doing whilst locked in a frigid stone cell in the middle of the harsh North Sea in winter.

“Long few months,” Bill said eventually, looking not at Sirius but into the fire.

“Try a long decade or so,” Sirius replied dryly.

Bill laughed humourlessly. The firelight danced in his brown eyes. “It’s not the life either of us had planned.”

“Definitely not,” Sirius agreed. He tilted his head back and took a long sip of his drink. The firewhiskey seared as it travelled down his throat, burning away the pain and regret that attempted to surface at the mere suggestion of how terribly wrong his life had gone. “Of course, you can go back to your life at any time. Egypt hasn’t gone anywhere.”

Most people would, Sirius thought. Most people would not uproot their whole career – their whole life – to come back to England and face down the threat of a dark wizard on the say-so of only their little brother’s best mate.

Bill shook his head, finally looking up from the fireplace and fixing Sirius with a hard look. “I can’t go back,” he said. “Not until we finish this.”

“Why?” Sirius asked before he could stop himself, curiosity getting the better of him.

“Ginny,” Bill responded. Sirius raised his eyebrows, it was not the answer he’d been expecting at all.

He had been impressed with Ginny over the summer. The spirit she’d shown when her mother had refused her request to learn about the order. The good natured way she helped the twins with their pranks. He’d also been unable to miss the way Harry’s eyes followed her around a room, the way he always seemed to know where she was, though he didn’t think his godson had noticed this himself yet. It had reminded Sirius starkly of Lily long before she’d become aware of her own feelings for James.

Bill sighed heavily before pouring another drink and downing it in one, fluid movement.

“Her first year at Hogwarts,” he said once he’d finished his drink. “You heard about the basilisk attacks? They were in The Prophet?”

Sirius nodded. He’d not been aware of the attacks at the time - newspapers had been a rare luxury in Azkaban – but he’d spent a good deal of time since he’d escaped catching up on what he’d missed. He’d read about the basilisk attacks in some old editions of the paper Arthur had given to him.

“Ginny was behind them,” Bill said. Sirius frowned in confusion. He could not believe that Ginny Weasley was capable of such horrors.

“Not intentionally,” Bill explained. “She was possessed by a diary – Voldemort’s diary – he’d been inside her head for months, forcing her to do things she’d never dream of doing normally.”

“Merlin,” Sirius exclaimed. He felt sick at the thought of it.

“In the end he sent her down to the Chamber of Secrets to die. She went. Harry got to her just in time – used the sword of Gryffindor to kill the Basilisk and almost died in the process.”

Sirius suppressed a shiver despite the warmth of the fire he had been enjoying just moments before. Guilt coursed through him to know that Harry had been in such terrible danger and he had not been there to help. As James would have expected him to be.

“Well, Harry got her out of the chamber,” Bill continued, pulling Sirius from his morose thoughts. “But that wasn’t the end for Ginny. She came to visit me in Egypt that summer. I’d never seen her like that before. She woke me up every night with the nightmares, during the daytime she was withdrawn and quiet. She never talks about it, but I know she still thinks about it now.”

Sirius knew what that was like. Some things would haunt you until the day you died and the only thing you could do was keep pushing forwards.

“So, you’ve come home to get revenge for your little sister?” Sirius asked. It was a worthy goal in his opinion.

“Partly, I suppose,” Bill agreed. “I’ve seen the damage just the memory of Voldemort can do. I can’t turn my back and let him rise to power again without doing anything to try and stop it. Besides, I figure I owe Harry a debt.”

In lieu of responding, Sirius poured them both fresh servings of Firewhiskey. He lifted his glass and inclined it towards Bill. The clink of Bill’s glass hitting his reverberated around the old kitchen. “I’ll drink to that.”

“Sirius?” Ginny said loudly.

The incessantly upbeat pop music had come to an end whilst Sirius had been lost to his ruminations. Ginny was laid across the bad opposite, her head propped up on her arm. She was looking at him searchingly.

“Sorry,” Sirius muttered. Shaking his head and erasing a horrifying imagining of Ginny laid, lifeless in a cold, dank chamber far below the foundations of Hogwarts.

“Here,” he said, leaning forward and snatching up the nearest record. “Put this on, it’s about time you listened to some proper music.”

Ginny sat up and took the record from him. She studied the cover cautiously as she leaned over and set about switching the record in the record player.

The opening riff of My Generation filled the room. For a moment, Sirius was transported to another Christmas sixteen years ago. The same music had filled the living room of a much smaller but infinitely more welcoming home in Godric’s Hollow.

“I like this,” Ginny declared, cheerfully and Sirius was recalled to the present once again.

“I thought you might,” he said happily. He lowered himself to the ground and began to sort through the huge pile of cardboard sleeves, carefully removing any he thought Ginny might like.

They continued for some time, Sirius choosing the records and handing them to Ginny. She, listening carefully before judging them good or bad. Sirius was pleased to see a particular affinity for David Bowie.

“Ah, this one didn’t used to be a favourite,” he said, pulling out a copy of I Fought the Law. “But I have a new appreciation for it now.

Ginny took it from him. She giggled as she read the title before moving to place it in the record player.

“Sirius!” a voice called from downstairs.

“That’s Mum,” Ginny said without missing a beat.

“Sirius!” Molly shouted again.

“I suppose I’d better go,” Sirius said, pulling himself into a standing position. "She’s running Christmas dinner like it’s an urgent Order mission.”

Ginny nodded. Sirius couldn’t miss how her face fell in disappointment. She must be lonely, thought Sirius, to be disappointed at losing his company.

“Hermione’s coming later,” he told Ginny as he reached the doorway. The news seemed to cheer her in an instant. “And I think you should go and find Harry and Ron,” The thought of another person lonely and miserable in this house brought him no pleasure.

“You do?” Ginny asked doubtfully.

“I do,” Sirius agreed. “You said you can help them, then I think you should. It’s Christmas, after all!”

“They won’t listen to me,” she said, though Sirius thought some of the hesitancy had disappeared from her face, replaced with something more akin to determination.

He grinned down at her. “Something tells me you’re more than capable of making them listen.”

Ginny’s face split into a smile.

“Sirius!” This time Molly’s voice was accompanied by the sound of footsteps and the distant creak of the stairs. “I need to speak to you about the turkey!”

“Coming, Molly!”

Sirius waved his wand a final time, sending most of the records back to his bedroom. A small pile remained beside the record player. “You can borrow those ones,” Sirius said. “I’d consider it your Christmas present to me if you’d educate your friends on what good music sounds like.”

#submission #ttb yule bash #hp fanfic #sirius black #ginny weasley

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m4r13l3y · 3 years

Text

Oh no, she likes another boy

Sirius black x reader , Reader x Theodore Nott

(explanation to the fic) << plz read!

Warnings; angst, unrequited love, mentions of cheating, fluff ending (?) (open ending)

“Where the fuck is he” You barged into the gryffindor common room, rage laced into your words, “Who?” James looked up from his homework with brows furrowed

“Who fucking else” You groaned, running up the stairs to the boys’ dorm

You knocked, no, pounded on the door. Sirius opened looking confused “What’s the matter?”

“Whats’s the matter?” You scoffed, “The fucking matter is that some girl just told me you cheated” The last three words coming out more like a whisper as a knot tied in your throat;

“Hello” you smiled at the 5th year who sat next to you, “hi do you know Sirius black?” She questioned

“Yea” you replied, eyebrows furrowed as to why a fifth year wanted to know if Sirius and yourself knew each other

“You guys are dating right?” you nodded, feeling like you could throw up at any second. The young girl explained how her upper-class friend and sirius had relationships,

you wanted to believe that she was lying, but how could you? This was the third time someone told you that he had done something like this and you still stayed with him, why? Because you are a fucking dumbass. You believed his witty “I love you’s” you believed when he said they were lying, but you were done.

Done with him treating you like you were nothing but trash off the sidewalk.

“Y/n its not that importan-“ Sirius deadpanned at you “not that important? Sirius I keep forgiving you because I’m so fucking stupid and you know that I am done.” You furiously wiped your tears, “I’m so done with you I promise”

“Sure you are” he rose his eyebrows, unbelieving of your statement, “fuck you Sirius black I don’t know how I ever loved you” you picked up your bag and slammed the door

It was no secret that everyone in Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry that you and Sirius black had broken up, news had spread around quickly as you broke up with him because he cheated with some Ravenclaw

He never realized how much he had loved you until you left. Until guilt ran through his veins weeks after he realized what he had done with the girl and how wrong it was, until you were sobbing in his dorm the night you finished everything with him.

The first week was alright, it hadn’t fully hit him yet, he still joked and smiled even though he thought you’d forgive him the next day, like you normally would.

The second week was tougher, he finally saw you coming to dinners, but you wouldn’t talk to him or the marauders, James and Remus had gotten mad at him because they missed your witty jokes and caring remarks when they felt down

And then it was summer, he wrote to you almost every day. He knew you were in Italy with your family, but he still wrote, you never replied. That’s when it really hit him. On a cold winter night when he saw his owl come back with a letter, his letter. You hadn’t even opened it.

So here he was now, first night back from school, he hadn’t seen you anywhere. Not on the train, not at dinner, and now he was moving around in his bed trying to figure out an apology

The next morning he finally saw you. You had a bright smile on your face, one he hadn’t seen in so long and Merlin he missed it. You had made your way to the marauders, he knew you were not one to hold grudges and he was excited to know you were ready to forgive him

“Remus” you smiled “James”

Maybe not

“How was Rome?” Remus asked, “amazing!” You beamed “we went to this Italy city and it was so cool they had such nice stores..”

Your voice sounded muffled as he saw you talking to his friends. God how he fucking wished it was him you were smiling at, though his day dream was brought to a halt when your voice stopped at you stared at the hall entrance

“Oh my god” you whispered, the three boys turned around to see a brown fluffy haired boy with glasses and a gryffindor crewneck walk in, someone he definitely didn’t know

“Who’s that?” James furrowed his eyebrows, “that’s theo” you whispered with a smile “my boyfriend”

Sirius let out a laugh “y/n okay this went on for too long you don’t have to get me jealous..” he trailed off as soon as he saw you stand up, ignoring him, and rushed to theo

“Y/n!” The brown haired male beamed at your presence as he held your waist tightly

“I didn’t know you were transferring here!” You pulled away, “well yea, wanted to surprise m’girl” he chuckled

You kissed him briefly, missing the way Sirius’ clenched his jaw at the sight. And much to his dismay, you decided to bring the stupid boy over to their seating space

“This is Theodore” you sat down “he’s my boyfriend”

“That’s Sirius and Remus and James” you introduced the boys as they all gave curt nods

“Howd you two meet?” James rose an eyebrow, “Italy” you smiled “I don’t mean to leave so fast, but I have to say hi to the elves I’ll be right back” you kissed your boyfriends cheek and waved

“be nice please!” You shouted as you ran out of the hall

“Listen here pretty boy” Remus rose a brow as you walked away “if you hurt our y/n I promise you, the least of your worries will be a little jinx yea?”

“Ofcourse mate” Theo chuckled “I like her, like really like her she’s special”

Sirius stood up angrily and walked out of the hall. He went to the kitchens, were he knew you’d be, so he could ask for forgiveness along with maybe convincing you to break up with the bloody bloke he now hated

“Y/n” he whispered as he saw you, “hey Sirius” you gave a curt smile and waved goodbye to the elves

“Y/n Im sorry i don’t know why you’re with that kid but I promise you I’ll do better-“ he went on

“No Siri” you cut him off “you didn’t love me, I’m not going to break up with a guy that really likes me just because you’re jealous. You treated me so badly and I’m not okay with that. Sorry if it hurts your feelings, but I’m happy with him” you gave him a sympathetic smile and made your way out of the kitchens

So that day he spent up in his dorm, crying and dwelling on how he could’ve changed everything in your relationship with him

The next few nights were the same, as he watched you and that dense Theodore roam the hauls with your hands in a lock

He watched him ask you to the winter ball, he watched him ask you to be his valentine, and much to his liking; he watched you break up with him when the two of you agreed it’d be for the best

He still watched though, the way you and him hang out as friends, he wished the two of you could’ve ended on good terms so that you could be hanging out with him as friends

“Mate you have to stop this” James put a comforting hand on his shoulder “she’s moved on and you should too”

“S hard” he whispered “I loved her”

“Ofcourse you did, but things happen and it didn’t work out” James comforted, Sirius shook his head and went to bed

Years went on, a war started and finished, he took care of his godson when Peter was arrested, and he got his life on track. No more slouching and sleeping around with any girl, he was caring and he was a changed man, for the better

His thoughts too, went on. His mind, even years later, always came back to you. Your y/e/c irised, your loving kisses, and your smile. Your damn smile, his favorite feature. How you always smiled when he would kiss you, how you smiled at him one last time when you departed ways at the end of school, and how it was 1986 at grimmauld place and you were smiling brightly at the kids that were running around

“Y/n we are so happy to have you!” Molly beamed, “The pleasure is mine molly” you hugged her

“Harry!” You picked up the young boy into a hug “missed you aunt y/n” he nuzzled into your neck

After greeting everyone, dinner went on. The young kids played for hours before going to bed in their respective rooms, and you had walked into the dining room after putting harry to bed and Remus calling it a night,

“Hey Sirius” you smiled at him

Taglist; if you’re name is white it didn’t let me @ you, sorry!

@wonderfilworld @lilypad-55449 @emmaev @amarabln @side-blog-shit @pakukutta25 @cjholliday-blog @chronicwiggler @harry-styles-1800 @rjprofessorlupin @aayaissaa @kittykylax @ethernal-onism @kyleed24 @amourtentiaa @theweasleytwinsgirl @28cnn @moonlight-siyah @xmalfoyweasleyx @goddessofmoonlightlove @pauloonig @nevilleiscottagecore @rileybread

#sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black angst #sirius black x reader angst

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fruitcoops · 3 years

Note

can we get a part 2 to caps panic attack? like an outside perspective (not caps) maybe loops or like a cub or something ?

Y'all thought I was lying when I said I'd have Alarm Bells 2: Electric Boogaloo out soon, didn't you? Please ignore the fact that it's been juuuust under four months since the original fic, and enjoy draft #4! This is the longest I've spent on one fic! SW credit goes, of course, to @lumosinlove <3

TW for mentioned panic attacks

The door closed with a dull thud. Choking silence fell over the entire room before a cold, brittle, furious voice asked, “what the hell was that?”

Arthur swallowed around the dryness of his mouth and shook his head.

“What the hell was that?” Remus repeated. His temper was rare—Arthur had never seen him truly angry, but the tic at the edge of his jaw told a different story.

“I’m sorry,” he managed as he picked his clipboard up off the floor. “To—to all of you, I’m sorry.”

“I respect you a lot, Coach,” Dumo said, cutting Remus off before he could continue. “But that was out of line. Tonight’s game was bad. We all know that, especially Cap. That doesn’t excuse putting the blame on one person or throwing things.”

“You’re right.” He swallowed again and looked around the rest of the locker room; every other player stared at the ground, avoiding his gaze. Bitterness tinged his teeth—he was acting like the coach he had always promised he wouldn’t be. “I’m disappointed in myself for tonight’s game, and I took it out on all of you. Pascal is right, that wasn’t fair. I hope you can accept my apology and forgive me for losing my temper like that.”

“We’re not the ones you need to ask, though, are we?” James said from his stall without sparing him a glance.

Arthur suppressed a wince. He had been so preoccupied with his frustration at himself that he didn’t even notice the growing tension in Sirius’ body, nor the way he began leaning away as Arthur ranted. The same mask of fear, false control, and misery had painted Sirius’ face as when his mother—god, he looked at Arthur like he looked at that horrible woman—came to forcibly trade him to the Snakes. “You all deserve an apology,” he corrected. “But you’re right.”

“Excuse me for a minute,” Remus muttered as he stood and headed toward the door. They watched him go without a word.

“How can I make this up to you?” Arthur asked.

Finn’s shoulders sagged. “Don’t do it again.”

“I won’t.” A door down the hall creaked, and he prayed Sirius wasn’t suffering alone anymore.

“Apologize to Cap,” Dumo said.

“Absolutely.”

“Don’t—” Leo faltered, then pressed his lips together. “Don’t tell us we all share blame as a collective, then make Cap take the weight. That’s a shitty thing to do.”

Arthur’s throat tightened. “It is. I never should have done that to any of you.”

A few beats of quiet passed before Kuny raised his hand; Arthur nodded to him. “Don’t yell when angry, please. Very loud. We already know when you are upset.”

“I’m sorry, Evgeni. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Same as Kuny.”

“Can you give us specifics about what we did, next time?”

“Please don’t throw your clipboard.”

“I’ll stay another hour to go through tape, if that’s what it takes.”

“Try not to interrupt us, please.”

For the next five minutes, Arthur noted down every single suggestion he heard; several were followed by murmurs of agreement. “Anyone else?” he finally asked. The boys shook their heads. “Thank you for telling me. I promise I’ll do better in the future, and—”

The knock on the door was soft, but it echoed throughout the room and sent a bolt of nervousness through Arthur’s heart. Remus poked his head in a second later. “Coach, can we borrow you for a second?”

Arthur set his clipboard down and headed into the hall without hesitation.

Sirius…if he was being honest, Sirius was a wreck. His eyes were red-rimmed and his cheeks were pink; a tissue was crumpled into little more than atoms in his fist. Still, he kept his chin up. Arthur hated the idea that Sirius thought he needed to brace himself with faux confidence.

“I’m sorry.”

Sirius’ lower lip wobbled once. “Thank you.”

“You kept them going out there even when they were ready to give up. We didn’t win, but we kept playing because of your leadership. Thank you.” He received a curt nod in response and pointedly ignored the tremor in both of Sirius’ hands. “I took my frustration out on you, which was wrong for many reasons, the least of which being that you don’t deserve to be talked to like that. Sirius, I truly am sorry for everything that just happened in there.”

“Apology accepted,” Sirius said. His voice was rough, but steady. “The guys didn’t deserve that, either.”

“I know. I apologized to them as well.”

“Good.” He sniffled once, then held his hand out for Arthur to shake. “In that case, I forgive you.”

“Thank you.”

Remus waited by the locker room door with an entirely neutral expression that would have unsettled Arthur if it didn’t melt into something soft and tired when he wrapped an arm around Sirius’ waist. “Ready?” he asked quietly.

The gentle buzz of conversation vanished as they entered again; Arthur sent them on their way with wishes for a good night’s sleep and a promise to talk more in the morning, and they trooped out in a tight group. As soon as the last of them disappeared down the hallway, he sat down in the nearest stall with a heavy sigh.

“That was impressive,” a voice remarked from the door. The bench creaked as Moody sat down next to him with a huff. “How’re you feeling?”

“Like shit.”

“Figured. Cap forgave you?”

“Thankfully.” Arthur rubbed his eyes until he saw spots. “Christ, Alastor, I sent him into a panic attack.”

“Asking what you can do to be better was a good move for all of them. That’ll serve you well in the long run.”

“I’m just grateful Loops didn’t break my kneecaps,” he laughed humorlessly. He stared down at the clipboard and the notes crammed into the margins for a long moment. “How did I fuck up that badly?”

Moody shrugged. “You’re human. You got upset. Don’t do it again. While you were in the hall, they were all saying how you didn’t seem like yourself, so I’d take that as a sign you’re doing something right. Just pay attention next time, and take some deep breaths.”

“You sound like Molly.”

A heavy hand landed on the back of his shoulder and gave him a light shake. “She’s a smart woman. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to make sure my candy jar isn’t empty again. You have a team of locusts, Weasley.”

Arthur smiled at his retreating back. “Yeah, but they’re our locusts. You know you love ‘em.”

Moody’s glare was nothing but fond.

#sirius black #arthur weasley #remus lupin #james potter #pascal dumais #leo knut #finn ohara #kuny #coops #alastor moody #sweater weather #lumosinlove #my fic #fanfic #alarm bells

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weasel-b33 · 3 years

Note

I've just seen your James Potter story and its so good! I;m not sure if you're taking requests but if you are maybe a post Azkaban Sirius x younger reader (reader is like tonk's age)?

OMFG BABES IM SO SORRY I JUST SAW THIS AHHH

i don't think this is very good, but i hope i did your request some justice.

THANKS SO MUCH LOVE FOR THE SUPPORT AHHH

Green With Envy

Warnings: age gap (reader is same age as tonks/charlie weasley), fluff, kissing, cursing (i think?), angst? if you squint? its really just jealous siri

Opening the door to the London home, 12 Grimmauld Place, you are met with an instant scene of chaos.

Fred and George, whom you have grown to love over the many years of knowing their older brothers, chase around a fifteen year old Ronald with an enlarged spider plush. The laughter from their younger sister, Ginny, can only be described as maniacal as she watches the scene unfold from the rickety staircase.

Shouting from, what you have had the displeasure of hearing, Mrs. Walburga Black's portrait rings throughout the dusty home. Well, until you hear the sound of a man's voice you have became quite close with.

"MOTHER! WOULD YOU STOP YOUR YELLING!" Sirius Orion Black, in all of his glory, yells walking out into the foyer of his despised childhood home.

Upon entering he is met with your smiling, well more like grimacing face, holding your bags you have packed on his request.

"Y/N? When did you get here?" he questions taking your bags from you. "Kreacher!" A small and wrinkly house elf appears from the air, "Take Lady Y/N's bags to my room. She's going to be staying here for a while." Sirius says quickly, while turning to you with a wink, the elf begrudgingly takes the bags, cursing under his breath, only something you can assume is about the excess "blood traitors" and "mudbloods" inside his mistress' forsaken lair.

"Siri. I've missed you, darling" you instantly are met with his embrace and a quick peck on the lips from the man.

"Love, if I knew you were coming today, I would have done some cleaning," Sirius says guiding you towards the kitchen.

"No you wouldn't have." you retort back quickly, inside the kitchen you are met with the smiling faces of the Weasley's and your boyfriend's long term friend, Remus Lupin. Quick greetings are exchanged before the Weasley matriarch is rushing you to sit and eat, all the while claiming you look as though you haven't eaten a proper meal in ages.

But, before you can begin to devour the delicious food Molly has served for you, a handsome face you have had the pleasure of knowing enters the room.

Charlie Weasley. Long-time best friend and school mate, enters the run down home with bags and a charming smile gracing his face.

Instantly jumping up, you run to embrace your dragon loving friend. For it has been nearly two years since you last seen the man. Living in Romania, and you still in London, studying to become an Auror, you both find little time to visit each other. The many letters exchanged between the pair of you, are clear proof to your friendship's strength.

However, something rivaling that strength, is the grip the eldest Black brother has on his cutlery. If it wasn't for Remus placing a calming hand on his bicep, it would not be a surprise if Sirius broke the silver in two.

"I didn't know you were coming. Godric, Charlie! It has been ages!" you exclaim excitedly moving out of the way for the brother to be embraced by his many other family members.

Grabbing his hand you lead to red head to the seat next to yours, which happens to be directly in front of your steaming partner.

"It was last minute. But, when the Order calls, you have to answer" laughter is heard throughout the room, and the jovial sound continues to fill the space throughout the dinner.

Yet, Sirius Black seems to not find this situation amusing. Anytime Charlie makes you laugh, grabs your hand, or rests his freckled arm around the back of your chair, his grip on the wooden table seems to strengthen. Nearly stark white hands are something the jealous induced man has become accustomed to.

He's the one who should make you laugh. He's the one who should grab your hand. He's the one who should rest an arm around the back of your chair. He is. Not some dragon loving ginger, who has waltzed into his home. You are his.

Finishing up the dishes, you bump hips with your friend. The night had been filled with laughter and memories the boy has brough up from the past. But, something seemed off throughout the night. You just couldn't seem to place it. Shaking off this feeling, you bid Charlie goodnight and make your separate descents up to your separate bedrooms.

After a few missteps, and opening of the wrong doors, you find the one with a sleeping Sirius Black. Or what you thought was a sleeping Sirus Black.

Quietly, tiptoeing your way through the room you change quickly into comfier clothes and finish getting ready for bed in the on suite bathroom. It's not until you slowly climb your way into the shared bed does to man make any indications of being awake.

"Nice of you to finally realize I existed," he says bitterly.

Making yourself comfortable under the thick duvet, you send a confused glance toward the brooding brunette.

"What?"

"This is the first time tonight you have even talked to me."

"What are you on about, Siri?" You turn your body to face the man and lay side by side.

"It is obvious I do not interest you enough. Its clear young and hip Charlie Weasley , is all you can care about."

"Baby, I have no idea what you are talking about. This is just the first time I've seen him in over two years."

"S'whatever." He huffs dramatically, rolling over so his back is know facing you.

"Nu-uh. Do not pull that shit with me Sirius Black, what is your deal?"

Turning back around, he looks towards the ceiling, and quietly sighs. "I get it, okay? I am older, you are young. You have so much more life to live and I have wasted half of mine in a cell. You deserve someone like him. He will make you happy-"

Quickly cutting off his dejected rambling with a short kiss, you sigh, "Sirius Black. I love you. Only you. Okay? I don't care that you are "old" I love you for who you are. How you make me feel, okay? Charlie is just a friend and that's all he ever will be. Y'know why? Because I have you by my side."

"God, my love, I adore you so much."

Opening up his arms you quickly scoot your way over and snuggle deeper into his embrace. Listening to his steady heartbeat and breathing, it takes only a matter of minutes to enter a deep sleep.

Wrapped in the arms of the older man, you had never felt safer and more loved.

And he felt the same.

fin

#sirius black #sirius x y/n #sirius blurb #sirius black x reader #sirius black fluff #sirius black jealous #sirius black x oc #post azkaban #post azkaban sirius #charlie weasley #weasley #fluffy sirius

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loveatfirstwriteblog · 3 years

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A Complete Analysis of Harry Potter

Like a lot of kids, we probably grew up on Harry potter. We were obsessed and rightly so. The universe created in the world of Harry Potter was, and is, a hugely successful one because of the fact it gave kids a world where magic exists! It seemed to be a great world to live in and it made even better with the fact that it included elements of empowerment, Whether it be showing girls can be just as successful if not more in various pursuits(Hermione), or the fact that even if you have a history of bad events, you can have a good heart(Hagrid), Harry Potter teaches us a lot.

JKR has written a mind-blowing plot in a world of magic, wizards, witches, wands, potions, friendship, love. Our inner-five-year olds--and actually most of our young adult selves too--jumps around excitedly at the beautifully penned words that creates an exit out of this world and into one where magic does exist.

As you get older, though, you begin to think of Harry Potter in a more critical fashion. The thought of “oh my god, it’s magic” no longer completely overrides my mind, but more of “but what are the laws regarding this? Can people just do this whenever they want? Are there no ethics?”

No matter how much we’re going to expose the flaws and plot holes in HP now, we’ll always love the books--we grew up on them! But some things just niggle you as you get older, and that’s what we’re going to be focusing on in this post.

Something I adore about the HP books is that everyone, including the “good guys”, has flaws. Harry has a “save the world alone, do first, think later” complex, a driving force that makes him go save Sirius, Ron is very, very insecure to a point where he ditches Harry twice, probably when Harry needed him the most, Hermione is a judgemental, narrow-minded nag (her thoughts on Luna, divination, Trelawney, basically anything that doesn’t fit her black and white world), Molly Weasley is misogynistic and blatantly favourites her children—probably being one of the main factors behind Ron’s insecurities, Arthur is condescending towards Muggles and makes several comments you cringe at while reading the books as a young adult/adult, Sirius, Snape, and Lupin still haven’t let go of their childhood grudges and hatred, etc etc etc.

These flaws are what make these characters so three-dimensional, so layered, so human. But the problem was, most of these flaws are never intentionally acknowledged. And honestly, that could have been such a good character arc, because the main characters are mostly students. No student is the same through their teenage years—they change, they evolve, they get over their flaws, they try to better themselves. I would have loved to see Ron becoming his own person, Hermione opening her mind up a little, etc.

Neville is not one of my favourites, but I love his growth and development, from someone who was scared of his potions professor to a man who faced down Lord Voldemort. Ginny Weasley could have had character development, from the trauma she went through in second year, but that was never written in. She went through this terrifying ordeal when she was only twelve years old, and jump to a year or two later and she’s absolutely fine, with no transition from her trauma whatsoever.

Some of JKR’s characters are brilliantly written and fleshed out, but some of her others lack the structure and complexity that usually comes with being vital to the plot—Ginny Weasley for one. Her internalised misogyny also plays a huge part in the way her female characters are written. We see this again in the case of how she wrote the character of Ginny.

Ginny Weasley is not a favourite of ours (if you don’t know that by now). She feels a lot like a convenient male daydream—when she waits for Harry to notice her by dating other guys, gets annoyed by Hermione “not knowing quidditch”, etc etc—and fits the “not like other girls” archetype too much, almost like she was made for it (hint hint). She’s portrayed to be strong-willed, spunky, and independent, and I love the idea, but I really don’t see it. To me, she’s a very shallow character, the least fleshed out one.

Just like James Potter wasn’t necessarily redeemed just because JKR said he was, and Ginny isn’t interesting just because JKR writes that she is.

Hermione also fits the archetype, but she’s JKR’s self-insert, so we really can’t say much about that.

To make things worse, Ginny and Hermione are pitted against each other in a very subtle way. Ginny is the sporty, pretty, flirty girl who’s never single from book 4. Hermione is the not-conventionally-attractive, nerdy girl who’s had a few dates here and there but never a relationship. They’re very different characters (the only thing they have in common is the archetype) but they’re against each other in the defence of Harry.

Another place where JKR’s misogyny shows up is the way other girls are written. Lavender Brown is shown as vapid and immature, just because she likes clothes and boys and didn’t know how to handle her first relationship. Cho Chang is perceived as shallow because she’s emotional. Pansy Parkinson is seen to be throwing herself at Draco Malfoy. The Weasleys hated Fleur because she was beautiful and sexy and French, and that was ever really resolved in the end (Molly accepted her, but we never got Ginny’s and Hermione’s opinions again). You see where we’re getting at? The typical “girly girls” are portrayed as insipid, shallow, emotional, and boring, while girls like Hermione and Ginny are seen to be fun and multilayered.

The problems with Harry Potter don’t just stop with non-fleshed out characters. There are plot devices that go unacknowledged, issues like blood purity—which is the basis of Voldemort’s tyranny—are never really resolved, huge Chekhov’s guns that aren’t fired.

A common misconception, which if cleared up could probably expose a load of problems in wizarding society by itself, is that the wizarding world is racist. It’s not racist. Muggles and Muggleborns are not a different race, they’re a different class, at least according to pureblood wizards. Mudblood is a classist insult (a direct reference to nobility blueblood and aristocracy).

Another factor that wasn’t talked about but made the HP world so complex and realistic is the inherent classism in every single pureblooded wizard, including the Weasleys.

The “Light” wizards all operate on the notion “at least I don’t kill or torture Muggles”. The Weasleys refuse to talk about Molly’s squib cousin who’s an accountant, the Longbottoms were so desperate for Neville to not be a squib they nearly killed him trying to force magic out of him, Ron makes fun of Filch for being a squib, thinks house-elves are beneath him, and confounds his driving instructor in his mid-thirties, the ministry workers kept obliviating that muggle at the quidditch World Cup, etc.

This could have been a metaphor for how small prejudices and microaggressions (kind of the wizarding equivalent of white privilege) enable discrimination and murder, if JKR had actually acknowledged it.

The parallel to Nazi Germany is very twisted and definitely shouldn’t be taken too far, but the Nazi ideology grew on the basis of everyday antisemitism, “that’s not that bad” little things. Voldemort’s circle and army grew because the wizard superiority complex festered and blew up in some people, egged on by a deeply classist society.

Ultimately, Harry Potter has very, very shoddy worldbuilding, the kind of worldbuilding that’s obsessed with answering the “what” of the wizarding world, rather than the “how” or the “why”, which is strange, considering that fantasy or dystopian-era novels’ driving plots and conflicts are usually answering the questions the worldbuilding raises--The Hunger Games and The Shadowhunter Chronicles are two of the best examples of brilliantly written YA fantasy and dystopian novels.

In HP, however, the main plot just avoids the questions the worldbuilding brings up like the bubonic plague.

Voldemort’s agenda is built on prejudice towards Muggles and Muggleborns, but the plot just validates the negative perception of them—at the end of the day, being a wizard is what’s special. The Statute of Secrecy is the foundation of the main concept—blood supremacists believe wizards shouldn’t be hidden away—but only vague, barely-there answers are given to why it exists (a Chekhov’s gun that was never fired).

There are love potions that function like date rape drugs (even Harry was given one by a girl who wanted him to ask her out), potions that force people to tell the truth, potions that literally let you disguise yourself as another person, but the ethics are never talked about, and the laws are so lax that three twelve-year-olds broke them and were never caught.

But at the same time, the worldbuilding is so authentic, because it transforms the wizarding world into straight-up fridge horror. The everyday horrors are just accepted and rolled with. A corrupt government, constant obliviation of Muggles, slavery that isn’t even talked about. These things aren’t obvious to us as readers, or to the wizards as characters, because they match up to the real world, which is filled with things that are horrifying if you dig deeper. The multiple, normalised forms of abuse, police brutality, the violence in prisons that nothing is done about, the glaringly obvious cultural problems we have with consent, etc.

The abusive authoritative figures in HP, like Rufus Scrimgeour, Cornelius Fudge, Dumbledore, Umbridge, etc, are so authentic because real-life politicians and people in high places of power behave that way, and their abuse is excused.

The wizarding world is just like the real world. Corrupt, prejudiced, messed up, but if you’re privileged, or at least have certain privileges, you’re probably not going to notice. The ultimate problem is that the plot doesn’t acknowledge a lot of fridge horror things are messed up either, which is why it miserably fails.

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wlntrsldler · 3 years

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treacherous (j.p one shot)

PROMPT: based on treacherous by taylor swift. slight enemies to lovers? James Potter and Y/N can’t stand each other until they get to know each other.

A/N: does not follow the timeline at all. the events are not accurate but let’s pretend for the sake of the fic lol.

WARNINGS: mentions of death, a bit of wolfstar, and some sexual tension (brief)

WC: 5.6K+ (this is my longest fic yet omg)

HARRY POTTER MASTERLIST

treacherous (j.p one shot)

“You’re so goddamn reckless.” James hissed, slamming his fists down on the kitchen table. “You need to wait for my command. This wasn’t a solo mission, Y/N/N. We work as a fucking team around here.”

“If I waited for your command, Prongs,” you replied, rising from your seat. You acknowledged his nickname with a bitter taste in your mouth. You knew you had to listen to James because everyone listens to James but you knew your plan would work. “We wouldn’t have gotten the mission done.”

“You went rogue!”

“But we got it done, right?” you seethed, eye drilling holes in Prongs’ skull. You felt Sirius offer a comforting hand, placing his on top of yours. Your eyes flickered to look at your best friend, features visibly softening. You sighed, slowly feeling yourself come down from your anger. “That’s the important thing, Prongs. I’m done talking about this.”

“Yeah we got it finished but at what cost?” James pushed, not backing down from his dominant exterior. “You could’ve died, Y/N. We don’t trade lives around here.”

“You don’t have to act like you care about my well-being, Potter,” you spat, starting to limp away from the briefing. You sustained some minor injuries because of your decision but you knew you’d do it again if it came down to it. “We all know you just don’t want another person’s blood on your hands.”

It was a low blow. Everyone in the house knew that James was feeling guiltier and guiltier everyday because of the events that happened over the past few months. The McKinnons, the Prewetts, his fight with some Order members— all of it was finally taking a toll on James. Maybe it always did take a toll on him and he just never showed that it did. Nobody really knew what the last straw was but now it was obvious— James Potter was tired, worn out, almost defeated in nature.

Yeah, what you said was a low blow.

James gulped, demeanor changing after your words rattled the room. Remus looked at James apologetically, not really knowing what to say. He didn’t expect that from you, nobody did. Lily cleared her throat, fixing the scattered parchment on her side of the table. Sirius stood up and patted James on the back, giving his shoulder a slight squeeze.

“Right, uhm..” he started, blinking back the effect of your words. “We can revisit this some other time. Great job today.”

James left the room without another word, your voice taunting him as he walked further and further away from the team. Is that what you really think of him? A leader, if that, who only cared about not being the person responsible for another death? Did you think that he didn’t care about you? That you were just a number to him?

Obviously you didn’t. You knew James Potter was a good man, deep down. You could see it in the way he put everyone’s needs before his. He wakes up every morning and gets everything done so the rest of you wouldn’t be burdened with such mundane things. James Potter cooked meals, cleaned the house you all shared, and bought groceries on the weekends because he thinks that you all fighting with him is something he can never repay you for. James Potter thinks that your trust as a team— as a family— is the most important thing in the universe and he’s so thankful that he has you all by his side, even if the whole world disagrees with your cause. James Potter is a good man.

You had a loud mouth. You found yourself, more times than you’d like to admit, scolding yourself after you let your mouth run amuck. This was one of those times. You let your anger get the best of you. The only reason why you even got angry with James in the first place was his lack of trust in you. Did he not think you could complete the task successfully?

“Y/N?” A voice from outside of your room called. You tried to get up from your bed, cursing as the pain shot through your right leg. “Hey, you in there?”

“Yeah,” you yelled out, realizing that it would be better for them to let themselves in rather than you try to open it for them. “Come in.”

Sirius entered, chuckling at your pained expression as you sat up in your bed. You glared at him, propping your injured leg on top of a pillow. “You good there, sweetheart?”

“Just dandy.”

He sat next to you, careful not to touch your leg. He smiled at you, sadly, and you knew what was coming next. A lecture as to why you should apologize to James or at the very least take his point of view under consideration. This was almost normal, and it was definitely expected. You and Sirius grew close, attached to the hip at times, and he was the one who would typically talk some sense into you. You knew that he and James were the blueprint of what an everlasting friendship should look like so you listened to him. Rarely were you ever the first one to apologize, though, but you knew this time was going to be one of those times.

“What you said to James..” he trailed off, eyebrows furrowing in worry. “I think he kinda took it to heart, Y/N.”

“I know,” you sighed, acknowledging your mistake. “I don’t know why I even said that.”

“You don’t like to use your brain when you’re angry.” Sirius responds, laughing slightly. You push his shoulder playfully. “Just apologize to him, Y/N. You know he means well.”

“I know he does.”

“So I’ll leave you to it then,” he announced, getting up to leave your room. “He’s in his room, locked himself in there since the meeting.”

Ouch. You felt the guilt start to eat you up. Sirius shot you a warm smile before shutting the door behind him. Groaning, you lifted yourself up, trying to ignore the swelling in your leg. Was it the smartest idea to walk on an injured leg? No, but you were never one to have smart ideas anyway and today’s events made that clear.

You started to make your way down to James’ room but stopped when you saw him exiting the bathroom. You began to walk towards him, gasping in pain when your foot landed the wrong way.

“Goddamnit, James!” you shuffled towards him, gaining some speed. He stopped to see who was calling him. His face paled when he realized it was you and continued to walk towards his room. “Will you wait for me?”

James stopped in his tracks, feeling bad that you were chasing him with a bad leg. He waited patiently as you limped towards him, an annoyed look on his face. “What do you want, Y/N?”

You blinked, not expecting the harsh tone he was using. No matter how many times you and James argued and were at each other’s throats, his harsh tone always surprised you. He raised his voice, yeah, sure, but this— this was different. You tried to ignore it, knowing that you probably deserved this. “I just wanted to say sorry for what I said earlier.”

He froze up, looking down at his feet. He glanced over at your leg, red with bruises littered over your skin. God you were lucky you didn’t die, he thought. James shrugged, “I don’t care, Y/N. Is that all?”

“Well, blimey,” you snorted, already putting up your harsh exterior, “I was trying to be nice. Get that stick out your ass.”

“Are you done?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

That was it.

James walked away and entered his room before you even moved. You were left to crawl your way back to your room, quite literally. Half way through, the pain in your leg traveled to your hip and you gave up on walking. Remus found you dragging your body across the carpet and took it upon himself to carry you back to your bedroom. You thanked him, half-heartedly, not being able to forget James’ hurt expression from your sorry-excuse of an apology.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were all supposed to win the fight. You were supposed to reconcile and have a drink at the house, continuing to dance the night away. You weren’t supposed to lose.

Half of the people you knew were gone. Poof. Like they never existed.

You, Lily, and James stayed in the Potters’ home, resting after a long day of fighting. Dumbledore left to check on the Order, or what was left of them. Molly and Arthur joined him. Peter was— Merlin knows where. Sirius left to check on Remus. The world seemed so quiet. Empty.

“It’s not the end,” Lily tried to say, looking between you and James. She paced the floor, unsure if she even believed her own words.

There hasn’t been much spoken between the ones who survived. You started to wonder if you were one of the lucky one who survived or if this fate was more unlucky given the circumstances. You lost people you called your family. You all did.

This was a battle none of you expected. It was a surprise attack on the Order during a time when you all had your guards down. One minute, you were all in the backyard, excited as the Weasley’s announced another addition to their already large family. People were dancing, cheering, drinking, and for a moment it seemed normal.

And then they came. They slaughtered everyone that they could. You were lucky enough to get out before it got too crazy. You ushered the young kids into the room, casting protective charms as you held onto Percy Weasley with your other hand. You watched people fall. You heard people scream in terror as they were being tortured. You shielded the kids from looking out the window, afraid that if they were to see something so traumatizing, they would never recover. You were sure it would take years before you would.

“I’m gonna help Euphemia out,” Lily announced, getting up from her seat. You knew there wasn’t much that Euphemia needed help with, Lily just felt restless and she wanted to do something that she could control.

James nodded silently, staring at his shaking hands. There have only been a handful of moments where you’ve seen James Potter— confident, self-assured, James Potter— doubt himself or be nervous.

The first time was when he put on the Sorting Hat in your first year and he pleaded the tattered hat to place him in Gryffindor, though the hat knew better than to place him anywhere else. Then, second year came around and you four found out that Remus was a werewolf. You accidentally overheard their conversation, and it confirmed the suspicions you’ve had for a year. The third time was in fifth year when Sirius made the stupidest mistake of his life and told Snape about the Whomping Willow. He was afraid he’d lose his second family because of it, and he knew that Remus’ anger was justified. And the last time, before today, that you’ve ever seen James Potter nervous was in seventh year. It was the day after his date with Lily— a date that took him years to convince her to go on— and he realized that they were not compatible at all. Poor bloke was afraid to hurt Lily’s feelings and when he finally told her, she laughed and said, “I know, Potter. I’m glad you see it now.��

Now, you were alone with a terrified James Potter and you didn’t know what to do. You stared at him from across the room, unsure of your next step. You cleared your throat, “Do you need me to do anything, Potter?”

“Huh?” he looked up, eyes weary and mind jumbled. He registered your question and he shook his head, “No, I’m alright. Um, are you going to be staying here tonight?”

You gulped, “Yeah, if that’s alright. I-I don’t really have a place to stay, but if you want me to leave I’m sure I can stay with Remus and Sirius.”

“No, no, it’s perfectly fine,” James replied, quickly, getting up from his seat, “I’m sure mum and dad won’t mind. Please, make yourself at home.”

“I appreciate that,” you sent him a tight-lipped smile and rocked back and forth from your heels to your toes, ignoring the pain that shot up your leg with every move.

“I’m gonna help mum.”

“Okay.”

He left you in the room, rushing to help his mother, but you had a feeling it was to save the both of you from the awkwardness of the situation. Sighing, you began to make your way to your room upstairs. You were half way out the room when suddenly, the room was filled with your friends. Some of the remaining members of the Order popped in, stopping you from completing your plans.

“Well, welcome back everyone,” you remarked, sitting on the couch. “Nice to see you.”

James, Lily, and Euphemia all entered once they heard the commotion. James stayed by the doorframe, arms crossed as he watched Dumbledore take center. Lily and Euphemia sat beside you, on opposite sides. Euphemia gave your leg a light squeeze and a kiss on your temple.

“As you all know, today’s attack caused mass casualty,” your old professor started, eyes flickering to empty spots in the room that the old members used to occupy. “To prevent such things, we will assign teams to designated areas. We can no longer put all our eggs in one basket. We need to prepare.”

Dumbledore continued, “Euphemia, you and Fleamont stay with Mad-Eye. He needs your expertise. Remus and Sirius, your flat is near the Black family home, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Sirius replied, “Wanted to be close, just in case.”

Regulus. Sirius wanted to be close to look after Regulus.

The old wizard nodded, “Very well. You two stay there and make note of any movement. We suspect they’re having meetings there. Lily, Dorcas, and Peter, you three will be taking care of Hogwarts students who live in the muggle world. They’re in Hogwarts for sanctuary, but since Minerva and myself are going to be preoccupied, we need you to make sure they’re safe.”

“What a reunion, aye gang?” Dorcas chuckled, though her laugh was empty. Lily snorted, shoving her lightly as a move of endearment.

“James and Y/N, we need you two here. This will be our headquarters.”

Sirius scoffed, “Professor, are you sure you’d want to pair Prongs and Y/N/N? We’ve already lost a lot of Order members and I’m afraid that if you pair them, we’ll lose one more. One of them will end up killing the other.”

“Shut it, Pads,” you glared, scrunching your nose, “I’m sure Potter and I can be civil.”

“I can be,” James added, side-eyeing you.

“What does that mean?” you questioned, squinting your eyes at the boy by the door. You began to get up but Euphemia stopped you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“James,” she said, warningly.

“Alright,” Dumbledore clapped his hands, calling the attention back to him, “I expect you all to be at your posts by tonight. Stay safe, everyone. Our numbers are dwindling by the hour.”

By 11PM, the house was empty. It was only you and James left. You locked yourself in the comfort of your room, staring wordlessly at the ceiling. The house was unusually quiet. There was no loud laughter coming from the living room— four boys who had to grow up too fast. You sighed, swinging your legs down the side of your bed, wincing as you forgot about your injuries.

“Fuck me,” you muttered, closing your eyes for a moment until the pain subsided. Once it became bearable, you slipped on your house shoes and made your way down the stairs. You tried to tiptoe down the stairs, not wanting to wake James and go through another awkward encounter. However, once you got to the entrance of the kitchen, you realized your efforts made no sense as James leaned against the cold counter, a cup of tea in hand, and his glasses fogged by the steam from his drink.

His eyes flickered over to where you stood, suddenly making you feel self-conscious. You were wearing nothing but pajama shorts and a large t-shirt that you were sure once belonged to Sirius. James raised his cup a bit as a sign of acknowledgement.

You smiled awkwardly and poured yourself a glass of water, “What are you doing up?”

“I reckon for the same reason you are,” he replied, taking a sip from his tea. James snickered, “Nice shirt.”

“It’s Padfoot’s,” you chuckled, “Don’t tell him I still have it.”

“Actually,” James started, placing his drink down. He faced you, “It’s mine. I let him borrow it and I asked for it a few times now. He keeps telling me he’ll give it to me later but I had a feeling he was stalling because he lost it. Mystery solved.”

You blushed, “Sorry, did you want it back?”

“No, it’s alright. Looks good on you,” he coughed, ducking his head to hide the slight blush on his cheeks, “Can’t sleep?”

“No.”

James nodded, “Yeah, me either. You can sit with me for a bit, if you want.”

You pondered it for a moment until you finally decided that a conversation with James Potter was better than staring at an empty ceiling for the rest of the night. You limped to the seat in front of him, clutching your glass of water like a lifeline.

“Are you still hurt?” James questioned, getting up to help you to your seat. He held your arm as you sat on the chair. Once you were situated, he knelt beside you, inspecting your leg, “You are still hurt. Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“It’s not a big deal,” you sighed, rubbing the back of your neck in embarrassment. “We all had bigger things to worry about.”

“Why didn't you just cast a spell on it?”

“I’m not the best healer around,” you admitted, looking down at him.

If it was any other circumstance, you would not have admitted your shortcomings to anyone— especially not James Potter. But perhaps it was the toll that the war had put upon you or the tiredness in your system… Or perhaps it was the way he was staring at you from his position on the floor, eyes wide with worry with the candlelight reflecting off his glasses and the look of absolute beauty on his face, that made you become so brutally honest.

“And why didn’t you ask one of us to help you?”

You scoffed, “Well, none of you are licensed healers, either. I figured I’d just live with it until it healed the muggle way.”

“Always so prideful, you are,” he chuckled, pulling out his wand. He muttered a simple incantation and then studied your once injured limb. “There. Better?”

You looked down at it, pleasantly surprised that it was indeed better. You nodded, a skeptical look on your face. James dusted off his pajama pants and made his way over to the seat he occupied before. You tilted your head, “Where did you learn that?”

“I learned for Remus,” James said, “After his transformations, sometimes he would still be in pain from turning so I learned a few things to help him. Sometimes it helped, sometimes it didn’t but Remus always says that just the thought that I wanted to help him helped with his recovery. Load of rubbish, I say but who am I to decide that, right?”

“Wow.”

James laughed at your reaction, drinking from his tea once more. A playful smile appeared on his lips, “I do have a heart, you know. I’m sure everyone else can see that but you.”

You rolled your eyes, “I know you have a heart, Potter. That’s not why I can’t stand you.”

“Enlighten me then.”

“Well, Godric, where do I start?” you hummed, a laugh escaping your throat. Now it was his turn to roll his eyes, smirking at your answer. You bit your lip, “Let’s see… you’re arrogant, cocky, obnoxiously loud. You act like you know everything, all the time.”

His eyebrows shot up. James’ tongue poked out to dampen his cracked lips, “Don’t hold back, I guess.”

“Shut up,” you chuckled, “Your turn. Why do you hate me?”

“Because you hate me.”

“Come off it,” you stared at him, shaking your head. “Why do you really hate me?”

“Seriously, that’s it. I only act like I don’t like you because you don’t like me. I don’t actually hate you, you know.”

You were in shock. Your voice came out as a whisper, “Really?”

“Really yeah,” he shrugged, as if his confession was nothing, “You love Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, and all our friends like they’re family to you. I can tell you’re a genuinely good person with how you treat the most important people in my life. I can’t hate a good person.”

You pursed your lips, “Well, I only dislike you because you act like I’m not a good witch.”

“What?”

“Come on, James,” you gestured with your hands. “You act like I’m a bloody awful witch and an even worse person. Always have since we were in Hogwarts. I just always assumed you thought I wasn’t good enough.”

James was baffled, “Are you being serious right now?”

“I mean, yeah,” you began to explain, thinking back to the many moments in the past where he made you feel that way. “I remember when we first all found out about Remus. I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone but you still followed me for two months to make sure I didn’t say anything because you didn’t trust me. Or whenever Sirius would tell you to ask me for help on a prank that required some advanced charms, you would refuse to let me participate like I couldn’t possibly be any help to you. Or more recently, when we had that task to do and you blew up on me for not following the intended plan. You don’t think I’m capable.”

“Y/N, I never thought I made you feel that way,” James frowned. “I was just really scared for Remus. Even as a second year, I knew that he was going to be my best friend for life and I just wanted to protect him. I didn’t let Sirius drag you into our pranks because I knew you were aiming for a spotless record at Hogwarts. I didn’t wanna get you in trouble because honestly, a prank that didn’t end with at least one of us in detention was a failed prank.”

“Oh,” you squeaked, “I didn’t know that was where your mind was.”

“Yeah,” James continued, “A-and as for the last task, I just didn’t want you hurt. We’ve lost enough people already. I’d hate to lose you, too.”

“Careful, Prongs,” you teased, swirling the water around in your glass, “You’re gonna make me think you actually like me.”

“I do, yeah,” he admitted, “I’m quite fond of you.”

The both of you stayed silent after those words left his lips. It wasn’t awkward, it was comfortable. It was the first time you two had a proper conversation and you learned things about each other that you never imagined. James continued to sip on his tea and you stared at each other from across the counter. You smiled at him, admiring the redness of his cheeks.

“Well,” you finally said, standing up. You placed the empty glass in the sink and made your way to the stairs, “I think I’ll turn in for the night.”

James smiled, showing off his perfect teeth, “Goodnight, Y/N/N.”

“Goodnight, Prongs,” you returned his smile, turning your back on him. Before you reached the first step, you turned back around, “James?”

“Mhm?”

“I think I can grow quite fond of you too.”

James’ eyes flickered from his tea to your face, his cheeks completely flushed pink by now. He bit the corner of his bottom lip, trying to suppress his smile. He chuckled, shaking his head, making his curls bounce around. You willed yourself to remember that image because it was the first time that you truly saw James Potter for who he was.

Over the next few weeks, you and James began to grow closer. Your late night conversations almost became mandatory. He began to leave a cup of tea for you across from him where you sat the first night. It took him precisely three nights to finally make your cup the way you liked it without being told. He started to light the fireplace in the living room after seeing goosebumps rise on your skin a week and a half after the first night. Then by the third week of your traditions, he began to walk you up to your bedroom door to wish you a goodnight there.

Sirius and Remus didn’t come to check in until a month later. Sirius, as always, made himself feel at home by raiding the kitchen and eating the food that you and James made earlier. Remus laughed from the living room, muttering about how Sirius acts like he doesn’t feed him.

Sirius sat beside James, peering over the pile of parchment on the side of his desk. He nudged his best friend’s shoulder, “Surprised you and Y/N haven’t killed each other yet.”

James blushed, “She’s not so bad, Pads.”

“Oh, I know that,” he hummed, taking a bite out of the biscuit in his hand, “Glad you know it now, too.”

“I never thought she was bad,” James frowned, placing his quill down to properly talk to Sirius, “Why does everyone think that I do?”

“Prongsie, darling, you would always shut up whenever she’d walk in. You’d avoid her like the plague.”

“I just knew she didn’t like me, that’s all. Figured that if I shut up, she’ll see that I’m not so bad.”

“Huh… Why did you want her to like you so bad anyway?” Sirius asked, sitting on the desk now, disregarding the work that James had done. He waited patiently for James to answer, but the answer never came. Instead, James’ cheeks flushed pink and the boy tried to hide his flustered expression by pretending to massage his temples. Sirius’ eyes widened and he jumped off the desk with excitement plastered over his face, “You fancy her! Merlin, how did I not see it before?! You fancy Y/N/N!”

“Will you—” James shushed Sirius, pulling him down by the fabric of his shirt. He was starting to draw attention to himself. James saw Remus stare at the two boys, puzzled as to why Sirius was running around like a dog. James wouldn’t be surprised if he turned into Padfoot just to swing his tail around. “Will you calm down?”

“Sorry, sorry,” he whispered, his lips still twisted in a large grin, “You fancy Y/N/N.”

“Yeah, I do,” James was embarrassed now. He didn’t expect to come clean to Sirius like this— not in the middle of a war. “I’ve always thought she was gorgeous, you know, even back in Hogwarts! I just never did anything about it because she hated me. I mean, really, genuinely, hated me. Then we got to know each other over this time and— I don’t know, Pads. She’s great.”

Sirius smiled so hard, James thought his lips would tear apart, “Yeah, she bloody is. Are you gonna tell her?”

His eyes widened at his best friend’s words as he frantically shook his head, “Merlin, no! Of course not! We’re in the middle of a war, Pads, and I’m sure she barely tolerates me. I doubt she’ll like me.”

Before Sirius could reply, you appeared behind the two boys, an eyebrow raised, “What are we talking about gentlemen?”

“Nothing!” James exclaimed, rubbing the back of his neck in fear, “Sirius was just saying how he needed to get home. Right now.”

“Is this how you talk to your best friend that you haven’t seen in a month, Prongs?”

Remus entered as well, laughing as he spoke, “Come on, Sirius. We do have to head home now. Nice to see you both.”

“Always a pleasure, Moony,” you smiled, hugging them both before they apparated out of the house. You poked James’ cheek, “So what were you really talking about?”

“Guy stuff,” he lied, returning his focus back to the parchment that Sirius messed up.

“Guy stuff?” you snorted, grabbing his jaw and turning his head to look at you. James visibly gulped, all the color draining from his face. You cocked your head, not letting go of his face, “We’re lying to each other now, Potter? Shame.”

“‘M not lying,” he said, voice shaky. You were so close to him. He could smell the strawberry chapstick you dabbed on your lips. Godric, your lips looked so kissable.

“Yes you are,” you tutted, your palm now cupping his jaw. You didn’t even realize how intimate this move was, too busy looking into his eyes to notice your movements, “I can tell.”

“How?”

“You can’t look me in the eye,” you stated, eyes flickering to the different features on his face. You never noticed the small freckle on the bridge of his nose or the small, fading scar on the left side of his lips. “Whenever a good man is lying, he can never look at someone in the eye. So tell me, James, what were you guys talking about?”

James still refused to look at you in the eye. He couldn’t bring himself to because he knew you were right. The minute his eyes met yours, he would crack like an egg. Instead, he focused it on your parted lips, feeling your breath tickle the tip of his nose as you spoke. He mumbled, “I can’t tell you that.”

You didn’t know what came over you but when you spoke again, your voice came out as a sultry tone— breathy and slowly dragging your words, “Please.”

James’ eyes immediately jumped to look at yours once he heard the tone of your voice. He’d never heard you use that tone before and he would be lying if he said it didn’t make him weak in the knees. And for the sixth time in your life, you saw the nervous James Potter again. In a moment of weakness, he spoke, “You. We were talking about you.”

“Me?” you asked, shocked by his revelation. Your hand that was once cupping his face was now hanging off his shoulder. You twirled a curl on the nape of his neck around your index finger, slightly tugging it. It took all of James’ willpower not to groan at the pressure. “What could you have possibly been saying about me?”

“How utterly insufferable you are,” James nudged his nose with yours, tilting his head the slightest bit. His tongue poked out of his lips, licking them in both nervousness and excitement.

“I’m only insufferable because you make me this way,” you tilted your head the opposite direction. Your lips were moving towards each other with every breath you took.

“Is that so?”

“Yes,” you whispered, closing your eyes. You let your lips ghost over his, before pulling away. You opened your eyes to taunt him, a mischievous smirk on your face. You pulled away from him, untangling his hair from your finger.

“See, you’re proving my point. You’re insufferable,” James said.

And with that, he pulled you by your waist, a surprised squeal left your mouth. He placed you on his lap before he kissed you. You instantly wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you. His lips melted with yours, tongues shying away from each other until he finally had the courage to caress yours with his. James squeezed your hips, pushing you down his lap. A soft moan escaped your throat and that brought James back to reality.

Before things could escalate, he pulled away— lips bruised and completely out of breath. You smiled at him, biting your bottom lip. He returned the favor, running a hand through his hair.

“I didn’t want to continue without telling you,” James confessed, “I like you. A lot, actually. I don’t want you to think this means nothing to me because it does. I-I hope it means something to you, too. If it doesn’t, let me know because I don’t want to do this if I’m just setting myself up for failure here.”

Your features softened at his words. You cupped his face in your hands, once again, and kissed the tip of his nose, then each cheek, then his forehead, and finally, his lips. It was an innocent one, less steamy and passionate than the first, but lovely regardless. You intertwined your fingers with his, “This means something to me, too, Potter. You’re not the only one who feels that way.”

“Really?” he asked, now grinning widely. He connected his forehead with yours, chuckling, “Who would’ve thought we’d get here?”

“Not me,” you giggled, “However, don’t think I won’t bicker with you now that I know you’re an incredible kisser.”

“I didn’t expect you to go easy on me,” James laughed, wrapping his arms around you. “But now, I can just kiss you to shut you up.”

You pretended to think about it for a moment with a fond smile, “Hmm.. I suppose that’ll work.”

James pulled you closer to his body, looking up at you as you sat on his lap. He murmured into the skin of your neck, “See? Insufferable.”

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