#half of my friends and family agree this one is fucking hilarious and the other half are like meh. mid.

[vanwizard]

forcing everyone to watch my favorite itysl sketch it kills me every time alkjdlfkjadsf

(commercial music begins)

Narrator: Dog doors can be a problem. Your dog can get out, but other things can get in. The Darmine Doggy Door brings you the newest high-tech doggy door from Darmine Devices. These doors are fully automatic, and activated by a digital chip in your dog’s collar! You’re not gonna get varmint, you’re not gonna get intruders, and you’re definitely not gonna get this thing!

(creature demonically squeals)

Narrator: …‘Cause I saw that thing. That thing came in here while I was on the couch. 

(sinister music plays, more demonic squealing) 

Neighbor: It’s a pig!

Narrator: …What the FUCK!? …WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK!? 

(commercial music resumes) 

Narrator: My next door neighbor had put a Richard Nixon mask on a pig and had it go through my doggy door ‘cause we’ve been arguing over a property line!

(trampoline bouncing sounds, narrator in flashback yelling: Get it off my bushes!)

Narrator: He was trying to call me a liar and a thief like Nixon and a pig – 

Neighbor: You’re a PIG!

Narrator: – but I didn’t know what the fuck was happening ‘cause I’ve barely been sleeping since my wife got flipped upside down by a swing dancer at a wedding! HE MUST’VE FLIPPED MY WIFE EIGHT TIIIIIMES! And it reeeally bothered me. When you can’t sleep and you see that thing –

(pig squeal) 

Narrator: – you’re not just right away like ‘that’s a pig with a mask,’ you’re like ‘THAT’S GONNA KILL ME! THAT’S REAL! THAT LIVES WITH US ON EARTH!’ 

(pig squeals again) 

Narrator: I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA GET EATEN!!! I’m not a stupid fucking idiot, I know it was just a pig, but for fifty seconds it felt really real. And when you think you’re gonna get eaten and your first thought is… great! I don’t have to go to work tomorrow! You’re relieved you don’t have to go to work ‘cause you thought you were gonna get eaten!? What the fuck is this world? What’ve they done to us? WHAT’D THEY DO TO US!?!? 

(pig squealing and destroying coffee table) 

Narrator: That was the most consequential day of my life because now I know I don’t like my work. THE DARMINE DOGGY DOOR! HAPPY PET – PEACE O’ MIND! Anything can happen in this world, we really know very little! My life is nothing I thought it should be and everything I was worried it would become because for fifty seconds I thought there was monsters on the world.

#i think you should leave #tim robinson #unreality #<- that's what the sketch is for anyone sensitive to that. #the way the darmine doggy door immediately shot to the top of my list when we watched season 3 aslkdjfljklakj #it just sends me every time #...cause i saw that thing. :/ that thing came in here while i was on the couch :/. #half of my friends and family agree this one is fucking hilarious and the other half are like meh. mid. #but i shrimply cant get over it

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

https://www.tumblr.com/royaltealovingkookiness/187489175766/i-think-the-anon-who-sent-the-zuko-lost-azula-in?source=share

Your thoughts?

(I'm only mentioning the ones I don't agree with)

"Oogling him when he's half-naked"

As a brazilian, this one was HILARIOUS to me. He just has his shirt off because it's summer and bending is a physical exercise and he's going to sweat. This isn't him dramatically taking his shirt off at The Beach and a ton of fangirls appearing to drool all over him. This isn't sexual.

She's literally watching him and AANG practice firebending. That's all. Why are we making it about attraction, and why are we assuming she could only possibly be looking at Zuko when Aang is there too? By that logic, Ozai and Aang were checking each other out during their fight in the finale, and so were Zhao and Zuko during their Agni Kai - after all, they're LOOKING at EACH OTHER when NEITHER OF THEM has a SHIRT on.

"Note Katara's body language"

Literally what about it? I legitimately don't understand this one. Touching her hair is somehow weird or flirty? It's just hair!

Is it because she's sitting next to Zuko? What, she's not allowed to be too close to a guy without it being suggestive/flirty in some way? Again, as a brazilian, I am VERY confused. Somebody help me out here.

"I don't think anyone could argue sibling vibes in a scene in which they are visibly disgusted at the thought of being mistaken for a couple"

What? Like, sure, I can see SOME siblings just laughing it off and correcting the person who made a mistake, but being grossed out is a 100% valid reaction.

As a girl that grew up being told "You saying you don't like this boy can ONLY mean that you secretly like him" and had to hear an unhinged woman call my 11-year-old self "her future daughter in law" just because I was friends with her son, I am BEGGING people to quit it with that bullshit. Being weirded out is not "admiting" there are feelings there. Stop it. Sometimes people are shy, sometimes they just genuinely don't like each other that way. Stop projecting.

(Also the only correct ways to do the mistaken for a couple thing is with the characters either just rolling with it "to avoid explaining" or to one of them to exaggerate on the awkwad denial and accidentally offend/upset the other, like it happened with Kataang in Cave Of Two Lovers)

"I don't remember any scene of Zuko or Katara fighting side by side with their sibling like they did with each other"

Also if we're talking side-by-side fighting stance that screams romantic symbolism, let's be fucking serious here. The dragons literally make a heart.

"You can only want to see embarrassing/cute baby pictures of your friend if you want to date them, and siblings totally don't use old childhood photos to annoying each other"

Are you fucking kidding me?

"Co-parenting"

Fuck off, they're children. Traumatized children. ALL of them. They've all done stupid shit, and they've all been exasperated by their friends' doing dumb shit. Found family doesn't mean we NEED one or more characters to play the "parent" role.

Katara actively resents the idea of being seen more as parent than as a friend, and Zuko JUST discovered the revolutionary concept of "Wait, a father burning his child's face is NOT normal????" Co-parenting my ass.

"Bed/bison sharing. Very unsibling like"

Katara literally shares the bed/Appa with Sokka during the entire Blue Spirit episode. And like this person pointed out themselves, the Gaang shares "a bed" and sleep next to each other all the time. Be thrilled that your OTP is having a moment that you could re-imagine as romantic, but let's not pretend any kind of intimacy MUST be sexual/romantic in nature.

"The scene of Katara comforting Zuko has parallels with his first scene with Mai at the start of the season"

This one was totally okay until the bullshit of "Mai's kiss and hug didn't help Zuko feel better at all and after this he shuts her out." During all of Nightmares And Daydreams we see him cuddling with her, Mai trying to cheer him up, and him even confessing his inner-turmoil about having to essentially put on an act to please Ozai.

She grew a lot as a character and Zuko didn't take her joke in that first episode to heart. He is doing the exact opposite of shutting her out, he actively turns to her for comfort.

"The physical distance between them shrunk"

Yes, and? Seriously, what about it? Is there a line missing here? Am I not seeing something? WHAT IS GOING ON?

"The lightning to the heart feels like a romantic scene"

I was gonna let it slide, like I was doing with all the others "This could work for a romantic relationship, but it's not inherently romantic", but that last line I just can't stand by. DRAMA IS NOT THE SAME AS ROMANCE.

"The simmilar scene for a canon ship doesn't have the same focus on the hands as this one does"

Hand-close ups are exclusive to married people, it is known *rolls eyes*

"It looks like they're about to kiss"

Bruh, what? Looking up at someone who is looking down at you is like leaning in for a kiss?

"Many of these scenes (not the ship-baiting ones obviously) could have been written, framed, animated in a purely platonic way, giving it more of a playful sibling vibe, but the creators deliberately chose overtly romantic or at least ambiguous tones"

#anti zutara

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

I can't in any capacity say that I'm an ally to anyone. That's not me being an asshole. That's not me being a bigot. I'm an ally to no group. I'm a friend to people. And I care about people. Someone asked me about one of my asks where I got called a transphobe and a homophobe and it reminded me about the topic in general.

Fact is I don't care what color you are. What religion you belong to. What sexuality you are. What Identity you assume. If you are not a dick to me or to people that I care about, I won't take issue with you. What's weird though is to be called homophobic when a lot of my friends are lgbt. And this is not one of those, "Well I have a black friend" moments. I legit have friends from varying walks of life. One of my best friends from college was a gay black furry. And one of my favorite past times was picking on him in playful ways. Why? Because if was always fun to see him flustered and he actually thought it was funny. Am I gay? No. I'm comfortable in the fact I'm straight. And my friend knew that.

There are going to be a lot of things that people say that I don't agree with. Does that make me hateful? No. It just means that I have my own views on things. I however understand that if I WAS hateful towards certain groups, I'd have to be bigoted against a huge number of my friends. Like my college buddy from Sri Lanka, his friend and our roommate who's have Korean half Black. Several of my ex GF's who've been bisexual. Even friends of mine who are lesbians whom I've defended in public after they have been accused of being transphobes for, and I'm not kidding, "No being willing to suck the dicks of trans women". That's not a fucking joke. And it's sick.

I've made posts about how I'm not an extremist because I'm not. Fact is, and I mean this, I should not be considered an bigot because I don't worship a movement. No one else should either. And on my blog I will cover a lot of topics. Like:

-Groomers -Gun Laws -Radical Feminism -Black Representation in TV and Movies -Race Swapping -Capitalism -Communism -Socialism -Anarchy -State and Federal Powers -Etc.

And there will always be more. I'm not transphobic. I just want kids left alone. I'm also not homophobic, but again leave kids alone. If you are an adult you can love another consenting adult. I take ZERO issue with it. And I never will take issues with it. My only focus on any of that stuff is quite literally "Let kids be kids. Let them figure out who they are without pushing them. Don't sexualize them ever." Simple rules to live by. Anything else? I'm willing to have a discussion about. Hell I've been on record losing my shit at least in one of my reblogs borderline making promises to deal with anyone who would threaten any of my friends/family irl because they are LGBT.

What many don't understand about me is that I'm an angry ginger who is actually pretty moderate on most issues. And it's only in cases where people belong to cult like mentalities that anyone can even REMOTELY consider me hateful or radical. More so when we consider that the only people I actively hate are those that actively seek to harm others. And not just in a weird way that won't do anything. I'm talking people that WILL or would enact actual violence onto people I care about. Like the FBI. Or Antifa. Or real extremist white supremacist's. Or segregationists leftists who have called some of my non white friends "house N-". I typically don't give that word any power myself and most of my friends don't, but believe me when I tell you, I'll make you look like a punk and I won't even have to touch you.

So even the notion, that I'm X type of bigot is hilarious to me. And no amount of this, "Bow to me and my ideology or you are a bigot" will make me change who I am to my friends, my family, and the people I care about. I worship no one. And I will never bow to your cult like ideals. And maybe one day, someone like the person who sent that ask will find it justifiable to kill me. Who knows. I certainly don't. All I do know is that I'm a very caring person. And a lot of the time the stuff I mean get's lost in translation. What I say might be interpreted one way by one person and another by someone else.

That's just reality. But if you can't even come to me and ask for clarification, or you just expect me to placate someone because of the group they belong to, then you are barking up the wrong tree. You are not my friend. You are not my family. And a number of you are people that would actively endorse having me end my own life, or wishing someone would end my life for you.

Why? Because you are tyrants. You believe yourselves gods and that your "moral rights" are and should be everyone's "Moral rights". You will not rule me. You will not control me. You will not make me worship you as if you were gods. I am me, and only me. And I will live me best life not just for myself, but for the people I hold dear.

[scolop98]

VOTE FOR KIYOSHI KARASUMA IN THE OC POLL

@original-character-championship

OC created by @giantchasm

from Adventures in Solitude

Quick break from my regularly scheduled dinosaur propaganda to present my propaganda for the best-written OC I’ve ever seen in a fanfic. I didn't create Kiyoshi, but he lives in my head rent-free now. He looks like a normal-ass preteen but he is such a fascinating and hilarious being. He is simultaneously a serious and dramatic character study on the ethics of reincarnation and a character whose mere existence feels like a hilarious cosmic joke. He is the personification of an Angsty Crack-Taken-Seriously Fic.

“Fun” Facts About The Boy:

Has a big fluffy Samoyed named Taros.

He’s a trans boy! Came out when he was ten, and his parents & family friends accepted and supported him. These first two are fun facts and not “fun” facts, unlike pretty much the rest of his preteen existence

His sleep paralysis demon is his best friend’s past life

The reason he turned out good this time is, canonically, because he burned some ants with a magnifying glass when he was three and felt really bad about it

As a baby he hated this one aunt on sight for no discernible reason. He came around pretty quickly and now she's his favorite aunt, but 12 years later they found out that this was because that aunt was his past life's younger sister-in-law who he once tried to murder. She also happens to be his current middle school teacher's wife for some reason

His best friend once clapped at him so threateningly that Kiyoshi dissociated and almost had a past-life flashback/panic attack in the middle of capture the flag

He would be personally offended if he saw someone online call Heinz Doofenshmirtz a mad scientist*

Was once a popular kid… when he was a preschooler. Then his anxiety and self-judgement got so bad that now he just sits in the back of the classroom judging everyone and had no friends outside of his parents’ now-adult former students prior to the start of the fic

Despite being a neurotic ball of anxiety and self-loathing, he and his mom (who love each other very much) regularly cuss at each other. He’s probably better at saying “fuck” than any other thirteen year old

Is the voice of reason in his friend group despite having been, y'know, a war criminal in his past life

His best friends got into a fistfight on school grounds over whether or not he should be forgiven for his war crimes

Part of the reason that his redemption arc is so satisfying is that his awful past life knew his parents and friends and fucking hated them all. That man would’ve been legitimately horrified to learn he’d be reborn as this couple’s neurotic little scrimblo of a child. Pretty much every aspect of Kiyoshi’s personality is tailor-made to piss off his past life, and that was mostly a coincidence b/c most of Kiyoshi's character was created before the author had even considered making him a reincarnation. Kiyoshi literally just being himself and accepting who he is is a fate worse than death to the horrible narcissistic man that he was in his past life.

he’s not a natural blond

When he tried shit-talking his past life with a friend, the best insult they could come up with was “Ghetsis from Pokemon”

"'WILL YOU PEOPLE STOP CALLING MY SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON HOT!?,' Kiyoshi wails” is an actual quote from this fic. Both of his best friends, and half of his middle school class, agreed that his sleep paralysis demon was sexy

canonically ate a live rat in his past life*

*these are the only fun facts not explicitly mentioned in the original fic. everything else is real, I'm not making any of it up

And finally, some relevant memes and quotes:

VOTE HERE!

#not my OC #adventures in solitude #ais fic #192 kiyoshi karasuma #giantchasm #kiyoshisweep #original-character-championship #longpost #oc championship

[tkeyahwrotethis]

I remember, I remember when I lost my mind. There was something so pleasant about that place.

I met someone new in group today.

I feel so boring compared to these other ladies... lol which is kind of a relief.

The lady I matched up with today was... married. With actually a really nice ring. I'm super curious to know like why... is a married woman in a counseling group for single mothers?

She explained to me that she and her husband had known each other since they were teenagers. He was her first love and once they were in college they started struggling with substance abuse. She got help for her issues but his mental health got really bad, worse than hers, even though they both suffer from mental illness. He started becoming emotionally and physically abusive towards her and then she got pregnant and it somehow got even worse. Their child is 3 now. She realized he was never going to change because she tried to get him therapy and on medication to help him and he never wanted the help. He started being resentful of her and blaming her for things that could in no way be her fault if she tried but he needed a scapegoat.

"I sat him down as my best friend, someone I known for half my life and told him I needed a divorce because he's hurting our family. we both cried about it but he understood and told me he'd give me what I wanted. Why did this nigga start acting SUPER CRAZY. He started doing things that made the cops have to pick him up and admit him into mental health facilities for months at a time so he wouldn't have to legally sign the divorce papers"

(I chucked because that's literally so hilarious)

"She's like that's where we're at right now. I beg him and plead to him to sign the papers, we cry, and he agrees and says he will do whatever I want him to do, he wants me to move on and be happy then he goes and does some crazy shit that he goes away and never signs the fucking divorce papers. I feel like he's making me crazy again because why won't he just sign the papers?

Fast forward to today, I've moved out and I consider us separated even though he won't legally divorce me. I'm truly hurt by everything he's put me through but I decided to start dating. I connected with this guy he just got out of a toxic relationship with his bm, and they have 2 kids together. I have real feelings for this new guy but there's some red flags. He constantly compares me to his babymother when it comes to how I choose to raise my daughter and run my house but in the same breath will say he wishes he met me before he met her. It gets annoying. Then whenever my bd is home I try to get him help, I try to get him to sign the papers, and I'm still wearing the ring. So I'm not perfect either because I know that annoys my boyfriend. Like I always have one foot out the door in my old life."

She started looking to me asking for advice.

I basically told her that the easy answer is she needs to leave her bd alone. you cannot reason with crazy people. they will never feel like they're in the wrong. he's blaming you for shit that could never be your fault... but she kept making excuses for her bd so I feel like she's not closing the door on him right now.

I told her I don't really know my bd that well, random tinder hookup. He doesn't want to be a father so I'm doing it alone. I showed her pictures of my baby. She was like wow she's so beautiful she looks like a white version of you !! that made me giggle.

I kept thinking to myself .... what kinda sex mentally ill people be having lol

[asexualbookbird]

ok, so, the first 3 books on your top5 hatelist i totally agree with. although the only one i've actually read front to back was 13 Reasons Why, it's understandable to feel nothing but contempt for that book, especially in the wake of that godawful show that never should've been given 4 seasons, much less greenlit in the first place!

never bought ready player one, but i read half of a friend's copy and listened to my favorite booktubers critique it. saw the movie mostly for olivia cooke. ngl, mr. cline feels like an incel who somehow got lucky by latching onto the 80s pop culture revival a few years ago. too cringey for me.

hemlock grove is an odd one, because i got introduced through the show (hello fanke janssen and bill skarsgard!) when netflix first became an online streaming service. what can i say about it other than GROSS! that series just makes me viscerally disgusted.

the other two i have not had the misfortune of reading, but i will take your word for it and stay way.

13RW GOT HOW MANY SEASONS, ive had that black listed since i finished the book 💀

im sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Netflix's Hemlock Grove live action series was worlds better than Brian McGreevy's books. Did the show follow the books? yeah! almost exactly! until the dinosaur baby, HOWEVER. THE BOOKS. God. okay the line that really stuck with me was "go suck an egg" and "go eat a tampon" what the fuck lol also i forget all their names but skarsgards sister? in the books? she gets out of the abusive family (YAY) by *checks notes* running away and marrying a 30 year old man. she is 16 years old. this is seen as a happy ending.

like the show was awful it sucked (mire than eggs) but it was awful in an entertaining way! you could laugh at how awful it was! if netflix hadnt removed it i probably wouldve rewatched the last season because the dino baby is HILARIOUS. The book was disgusting. Skarsgards character was a rapist but we loved him for it. Why, after nearly 10 years was this the book that stuck in my head.

#ezrs gets a letter #ezra reads hemlock Grove #i feel like everyone knows how bad rpo is by now #yeah incel nostalgic fantasy lmaaoo #gone by michael grant had an autistic character and they treated him SO POORLY #it was DISGUSTING #and that coupled with that time he said in twitter children (PARTICULARLY AUTISTIC CHILDREN) are a burden #i dont trust him i dont like him i will not read anything else by him #also apparently the Plot Twist in that series is Aliens

[arunneronthird]

Hey, anon on the Jay Nakamura topic again, I definitely agree on the fact that Jay doesn't really add anything if he is overpowered and equal to Jon. What I'm trying to say is that Tom Taylor in Son of Kal El made it seem as the story was going to be about Jon struggling with trust after the events in the volcano. He was going to be more closed off and cautious of others because it made it seem as though as Jon didn't feel like he could trust people to have his back, especially the fact that with as you said, Jon realizing how powerful he is, feeling like his allies are more of a liability than backup. Sounded like it could be an interesting and reasonable flaws for Jon. We could've seen how this affects Jon's relationships, especially with non superpowered friends and family who before have had his back before and even saved him in his younger years (ex. Lois Lane and Damian Wayne) and have seen Jon learn to trust people again and be able to rely on them again. But Tom Taylor's solution to this instead was Jay, a "straightfoward romantic relationship". I've tried liking Jay as I am always curious and excited for new superheroes but as you said in previous posts, he is originally created to be Jon's love interest. Not to mention he began to annoy me as the comic is supposed to be about Jon but Jay is seemingly taking up space with his story and arc as the role of supporting character. It made it seem Tom Taylor took the advantage of writing his original character and forcing him into Jon's spotlight in any and every way possible, at least to me. If anything, we could have used more non superpowered supporting cast for Jon to give him a sense of normality, he is half human after all. What do you think?

-💬

okay i got it now sorry, reading comprehension is slipping through my fingers

valid! i think tom had good intentions and wanted to write a good, happy and mentally stable superhero to counter the bat family maybe, and in doing so he missed so many shots, i think jon struggling to put his faith in people who he believes are weaker than him is such a fun angle, him learning to come to terms with humans with no powers again would have been a great read

i also think addressing the years of prison would have been the correct thing to do, thats why im excited for this new series, cause fuck if he did something with it in son of superman

full honestly after reading most of son of superman and getting bored i genuinely cannot tell u anything about jays story like wow i did not care, hes easy to ignore i think, which is his first flaw, like yeah he was around too much maybe but even then he was such a non presence

i compare him to bernard a lot in my mind cause in the end they are the "bf i made up for representation with a complicated life story for drama" and like... i look forward to bernard being around, i find him hilarious and hes dumb and fun and thats enough, meanwhile jay is just such a downer and feels incredibly patronizing sometimes

all in all i just think tom tried but it didnt work out, which is a shame cause hes the one writer that made me cry several times so im looking forward to him putting those abilities to work with jon

#im nothing if not optimistic and foolish #thank u for the ask! sorry it took me a bit to get it

[zelsisi]

( wip meme ask ) could i please ask about 'aragorn : tip of the lance' ?

Thanks for the ask! <3

I know the prompt said brief but this ain't gonna be brief. This is one that I'm really passionate about. xD

Ok. So. Aragon: Tip of the Lance is a D&D campaign that I'm playing in. My character is Anduin Thurarsh, who is in my OC Masterlist pinned to my page.

We've had 25 sessions so far and honestly, other than the game I DM, it is my favorite campaign to play in. Bar none so far.

Its a fantasy setting with 5 nations and one area where we have no clue what's going on. The 5 nations are The Castiya Archipelago, The Imperium Ryos, Carthago, Greika, and The Holy Kingdom of Phairon. Castiya is based off of Spain, Imperium is based off of the Roman Empire, Carthago is based off of northern Africa, Greika is based off of Greece, and Phairon is based off of Egypt. And the one place we have no clue what is going on is call The Blacklands.

We are playing as natives to The Castiya Archipelago, specifically being in Lancer Academy which is the nation's best military school. We're in Class Omega, basically the elites of the military or elites in training. All chosen for different reasons. And our party is very diverse too. (I will be referencing the Five Man Band tropes here xD)

We have Anduin, my character, as a Male Half Orc Artillerist Artificer who is the Leader of the party. Another name for Artificers here are Technomancers. He was chosen because he defended a town single handedly from bandits. Though he has "skeletons in the closet" cause he's keeping secrets from the rest. Basically he's the eldest son of a noble family of the nation and made choices that his family didn't agree with and abused the fuck out of him because of it. Only reason he's hiding it is cause he wants people to know him for him and not his family. His upcoming first character arc will be fun xD

We then have Elirthan, my boyfriend's character, as a Male Elf Apollo Labrys Knight (homebrew class) who is the Lancer of the group. He was picked because he defended a farming village from wargs by himself. We've learned more about his past cause we've had his first character arc. Basically Elirthan is trans. He used to be the daughter of a noble family of the nation and didn't want to continue to be a tool for their politics so a friend helped her become him with magic and surgery and helped him run away. That friend was captured and executed by his family and we were sent to help find "her". We found a book in a secret room with a hatch and Elirthan was revealed to be "her" so we then did a plan that basically gave a big middle finger to his folks. It was hilarious. Elirthan is also a character that Anduin has a crush on.

Next up we have Gastron, a Male Goliath Gula Sinwrought (another homebrew class) who is the Heart of the party. He was noticed because he defended the tavern where he was working by himself. He is the party's cook and really good too. We're getting pampered cause we're at a military school and we have someone who can cook regardless of what they have on hand xD We don't have his backstory yet cause he also have secrets. But he's a really good friend. Always there for the rest. That's why he's the Heart.

Fourth up we have Ordekko, a Male Deep Gnome Divine Soul Sorcerer eventually multiclassed with Bard who is the Smart Guy of the party. He was noticed when he saved a prison guard with magic powers he didn't have before. He's very skittish and shy but he's growing out of it. I honestly thought Anduin would've been the Smart Guy but no xD We've been through his first character arc too. He was in a gang when he was young and took the fall and was in a prison when one of the Six Gods brought an earthquake there and it was destroyed. This is where he was noticed when he saved a guard with magic he didn't have. So he got visions and a voice spoke thru him that was like "find this book in a library under ruins" So we went to the underground where the ruins are and Ordekko cast invisibility on himself and ran from the group with Anduin's homunculus (metal owl named Cai) on his shoulder. Elirthan wanted to go back to Lancer but everyone else was like "Nah. We going after him and giving him a talking to". So the homunculus came back and guided us there and we found the book in an ancient library that no one knew about so we got the find of the century. Also found out the source of his powers is from a God called The Hollow who we thought was only legend. Ordekko then discovered he can undo acts of the Gods with the book. So we know have a mission to eventually take down the gods cause they are pieces of shit but research and gathering strength and all.

Anyways, moving onto number five! We have Justinian, played by the DM (whose my best friend), a Male Champion Fighter who is the party's Big Guy. He didn't necessarily get noticed, it was political things. I'll go into that in a bit. Hits really fucking hard as we found out in combat and sparring. He's from the Imperium and the Heir to House Cerinthus one of the Six Big Houses. He got into Class Omega because of political reasons that we don't know which now Anduin is thinking its for stronger times because a war might be happening. But Justinian is a really good person. We haven't had his first character arc yet but we getting there. Anduin also has a crush on him too.

Number six! We have Angelo, who joined late, a Human Mastermind Rogue who is the party's Sixth Ranger. He'll probably fit into another slot once we've had more sessions with him. We don't know how he was noticed just that he's there and it works well for use cause we didn't really have a rogue. We're waiting on his first character arc as well. Anduin is on the fence with him cause they literally just met while he's known the others more.

We used to have another member but they left so not mentioning them.

Ok. So that's our party xD

We've been taking it really slow and actually going to classes and all, getting to know those in the party to be like "Yeah, they're friends" without too much backstory till now cause C-C-C-CHARACTER ARCS! We meld really well and if you've noticed, all of the party members are boys. And all of us are on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. Some are Bi, some are Gay (Anduin).

We're now getting to like "main story" arcs too. Justinian is captured and we just fought Shapeshifters last night that were trying to take out the King and military leaders of Castiya and we fucking won. We're rescuing Justinian next session.

There's also SO MUCH LORE AND SO MANY NPCS! I have a google folder that's called Anduin's Notebook, cause Anduin is the notetaker of the group like myself but its after session cause I can't do it during, and that's where all the lore is put and info for NPCs, nations, Gods, party members, gadget ideas and other things. I obviously have my favorites and all but yeah xD

I have so much on them. A lot of text RP too with the DM with NPCs and Justinian.

I'm gonna leave it there for now. But if you got any more questions about Anduin, the lore of the world, or the NPCs, send me an ask and I can respond. I might just do it anyways xD

#thanks for the ask! #dnd #Aragon: Tip of the Lance #Anduin Thurarsh #Elirthan #Gastron #Ordekko #Justinian #Angelo #dnd setting #ranting #i'm really passionate about this one #text rp #that was a lot #of typing #but i'd do it again #lol #send aks #about this #pls #i love talking about this #oftincturedwords #zel speaks

[gunsatthaphan]

I have caught up with cutie pie, it's the exactly the fluff of my taste. But it's also a dynamic that is kind of my pet peeve.

It's the "ah, it's mutual pinning but they don't have the communication part down yet."

Unless i am wrong and misunderstood something, these two never spent much time together except their friday dates, and from that first one (the one where the annoying lady character comes in) and the continues doll mask of Kuea, those can't be classified as "quality time together". So there is a semi relationship there but i am willing to overlook the fact that those two love eachother with practically no interaction. But lovely writer is also one of my fav bls so we ain't new to the concept of childhood family friends being in love from distant memories.

But the thing that is shocking to me is,i am excited for angst between these two. And i ain't that kind of gay, I ain't thirsting for angst. But i see the way Lian is acting and doing things behind Kuea's back and i want Kuea and Diao to start screaming. I want the fantasy Kuea had on ep.1 of telling off that woman but ten fold and directed on Lian and Yi respectively.

I want Lian to be afraid and chastised the way Kuea has felt. Cause there's an imbalance in the power dynamics here and i want it leveled.

hi anon!

I got another ask which I'm assuming is the second part to this one(?) 

I agree with most of what you said in the ask above (especially the part about Kuea and Diao snapping because yes that’s long overdue haha) however I have already answered a bunch of similar asks in the last few days (also it’s quite long) so I’m just gonna leave it here and under the cut. I hope that’s okay :-) Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 💜 

xxx

Hi, my tumblr glitched and i probably didn't send my long ask but what i wanted to say was:

Cutie pie is a series that i love and is very cute but it has done the impossible and made me excited for angst and tears.

Because I don't like the power imbalance it has, in these pairs, whoever has the knowledge and the information has the balance and i hate how the older halfs of both pairs don't seem to get that just because you love someone, it's no excuse to treat them like a child and like someone with dementia that is in need of constant attention.

I don't mind needy ukes and caretaking semes but this dynamic works when both parties are in the know and understand exactly their feelings towards eachother. (It's ironic that BounPrem have a cameo on this because they have exactly that dynamic as WinTeam)

Yi is the more annoying out of the two, because Diao has no memories basically, (and i swear to god if the puppy becomes the "I'm sorry i r-word you, here's some snacks from our sponsors" of Fucking Kengkla, instead of communication i will murder someone).

But Lian the chad over there has actively had people follow Kuea around, has kidnapped him basically, has bought the Gemini off, had Kuea's mother's consent, has made the world his daycare to babysit Kuea basically.

I would feel bad for Lian because he basically can't hold a conversation with the real Kuea and Kuea doesn't communicate either, but him butting in on every aspect of Kuea's life forcefully like a website cookie that has taken your data to investors and keeps following you to report back, has rubbed off all the "gentleman" appeal for me.

And every time Lian and Yi talk to each other is hilarious to me, cause it's them seeing exactly what is wrong in the other's relationship but when get called out on it they deflect it towards one another "your communication with your nong is shit" "WELL THE ONE IN YOURS AINT BETTER" they wanna be the bigger man but act like children. They act like fathers and uncles towards their adopted 10year old sons, not like boyfriends.

So that's why i am excited with the potential of a fight between our main couple in the next episode. I am hoping for a screaming match that will make Lian as scared as Kuea has felt but i am probably shooting for the stars here.

Otherwise i love the series 7/10

#cutie pie #liankuea #yidiao #opinions #to be frank with you I don't have the right amount of energy atm to answer these in a way that would feel appropriate to these lengthy texts #but i do agree with a lot of the points you made anon!! #although i dont think its correct to compare yidiao to kengkla and techno because that was just the most fcked up thing ever #but yes I agree that the conversations between lian and yi are absolutely hilarious #theyre both so hypocritical it hurts jdsfjkds #but i find it so entertaining #because all of their conversations go like #'you really dont know how to communicate with your bf' - 'neither do you' - alright lets talk business' #kdhgkjfdg #big sigh #gay disasters only on this show #and yet we stan HARD ✌🏻 lmao

[anarchistbitch]

hihiiiiii

jhdskjahsd glad to see you enjoyed spy x family, it's so damn good, I would die for Anya, have some stuff i thought was great too dkjad

https://www.instagram.com/p/Cd FRaKvqQWM/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

https://www.instagram.com/p/CdFR aKvqQWM/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

im finally replying to eeeeeeverything so brace yourself lol

Simone Ashley real life disney princess?? Yes. couldnt agree more, HER EYES JESUS CHRIST HER EXPRESSIONS AHHHHH i admire anthony's strength and resolve bc i wouldve asked her to marry me right after that first meeting

i mean, daphne did try to interfere but her dumbass of a brother went and proposed to another girl, at that point they just had to let them be, it was a lost cause

i felt edwina's half sister right in my fucking gut, that one hurt so badly

i would guess that the carpet moved while eloise was throwing everythign around, but yeah, it was an awful scene to watch even tho we all knew shit was going to hit the fan eventually

did you get to finish watching cbaw??? at this point im a little confused as to what i had already replied and what i had yet to do so dksajhdjk sorryyyy

what book did emily remind you of?? ive been in a slump and im only now getting out of it by reading vermillion bird (i hope i dont jinx it by saying this cause rn ive only read one chapter ksdjf)

i watched shubh mangal zyada saavdhan a bit ago and it was so fucking hilarious, when kusum ran away with the jewels i could not stop laughing and had to pause the movie, that woman is seriously crazy, and ahhhhh the scene where aman and kartik are dancing before goggle's wedding was so much fun, i wanted to join in bc they just seemed to be having such a great time (ignoring papa Tripathi's homophobia) and the music felt so good too ahhhh it was great, so great

as of right now my friend and i are halfway through heartstopper and i just ahhhhh its so perfect oh my god, i do have to wonder why they decided to add imogen but im not too bothered by her, tao is such a drama queen and i love him bUT WHAT DID THEY DO TO WILLIAM GAO'S HAIR OH MY GOOOOOD NOOOOO my friend is fascinated by Tori (as she should be) jhfsjhf I refuse to believe that Kit Connor went to audition for Charlie, I just refuse to believe it, he literally looks like Nick was pulled out of the comic itself and he went to audition for Charlie??????

yoongi is such an icon and my inspiration in my life but i do have to laugh at him getting roped into these things jdhjdhksd gotta love him

idk if i asked before but are there any other kpop groups youre really into??

hmmm since you only watch anime youve been recommended, do you have a specific genre you prefer or just about anything?? also, have you heard of jujutsu kaisen and owari no seraph?? i think owari no seraph is a bit more low key but it's great, im def recommending them both as well as doukyuusei, that one is a gorgeous movie that i have probably watched a million times

hmmm, in the end this didnt really end up that much a monster of an ask so i wonder if i left out anything, do let me know please!

have a great day, eat plenty of delicious food and stay hydrated!!

tons and tons of love and hugs,

-M<3

hi hi HI first of all thank u for reccing sxf cause i LOVED it and i finished the manga today and i cannot wait for the animated scene where [redacted] happens

praying everyday for anya's back cause she has the biggest responsibilities more than anyone in the world[academia & world peace]

YOR & LOID!!! lowkey hope the author pulls an arc where they both find out what the other does but dont say anything so anya is just there like(←_←) (→_→)

i think one of the reasons i enjoyed s2 more than s1 was mainly cause the writing pulled a lot more inspiration from bollywood, like even the kabi khusie kabhi gham rendition??? lokwey showing off

also! i watched mina le's review of s2 and apparently the way mrs featherington is dressed is to show that shes from new money and doesnt have the "grace" of ppl from "distinguished" families 😒

and so many other things but i also watched a video about simone's makeup for the show and how the makeup actually looks good on dark skin instead of just looking like makeup and i thought that was neat

the half sister line was so gut wrenching but seeing edwina burst out in anger was kinda satisfying ngl. when rewatching the final episode i kinda realized that kate did always have the anxiety of being viewed as only a half sister and felt like she had to take care of everything to even be viewed as family

i like the character of theo but was fully expecting a queer romance line for eloise & penelope like i wasnt the only one who thought they were fully hinting at it??right??

im still putting off watching cbaw😭😭

emily reminded me of this one horror book called what moves the dead by t. kingfisher[i only read a bit but similar vibes yk]

duude my reading slump got so bad i ditched my goodreads challenge. ive been trying to get back on track but . life

YESSSS ANOTHER ONE FOR SMZS!!! smzs was so good right?? the train scene (the one where karthik helps aman board the train not them making out) is so fking iconic😌 another thing i loved a lot was the metaphor of the cauliflower for homophobia [like parents thinking that "saving" theyre kids from queer stuff is good for them but it causes more damage than they think]

heartstopper was literally the best like the montages , the flowers and leaves from the comics edited into it?? the cast?? the kiss in the rain?? yasmin finney[special mention cause her outfits were fire]

i fully believe that the hairstylist had some kinda agenda against tao cause what was that hair😭😭 /j

kinda wanna see kit connor's audition for charlie👀 and speaking of! charlie spring!! i looved joe locke's portrayal like thats charlie spring

ik that some stuff that idols say is to keep up their image but some of the stuff yoongi says doth impact me. like him saying that he doesnt want to rework songs because he has made peace with completions of projects is part of the process[im paraphrasing but its from the how well do bts know each other project]

bts is the only group that im a proper fan of like theyre the only group whose comebacks i tend to follow while im a general fan of other kpop groups if that makes sense? i'd love to have a few recs cause i usually only find songs from insta edits

just about anything! ive started both owari no seraph and jujitsu kaisen![put them both on pause for a while tho] u cannot tempt me away from vampire and fantasy settings lol oooh ive heard of doukyuusei and def moving it up my list!! thanks for the rec😊😊

guess the only monster thats gonna be here is the huge hug im enveloping u in then

ur wishes are too kind and i wish the same and more for u💜💜💜

love, hugs and everything cool(for the temperate and also swag😎),

yrs

#m for mwah! and mwah! and mwah

[charleswaterloo]

AGREED DO THE ULTIMATE FIC REC

Thank you so much for asking!! Okay, here we go!

DC fics that I got a few paragraphs into and already KNEW were going to be AMAZING:

1. The Jason Project by loosingletters

Warnings: Major Character Death

Jason had just wanted to see his autopsy report, he had only wanted to know what information Bruce had about his death. And when Bruce hadn't given it to him, he had stolen it. He hadn’t meant to stumble upon the bucket list of a dead child and the footage of a grieving father crossing one item after another off the list.

My thoughts: I don't often cry (which isn't healthy lmao) but this fic made me cry (happy tears!). It is absolutely wonderful and while angsty it has such a beautiful ending. I can't recommend it enough!

2. Little bird by Ididloveyou_once

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Tim knew he was fucked if only for the way that his brain was chanting Jason, like a litany. So he definitely didn’t need to hear the cold, mechanical chuckle or the chillingly delighted 'lucky me' to know that this was not good.

He took a second to look down at his coffee mournfully.

Then, he threw it at Hood’s helmet and bolted down the Tower corridor.

Or: Tim is supposed to be at Gotham Academy for a parent-teacher conference. Hood has other plans (Titans Tower AU).

My thoughts: One of the best Titans Tower AU fics I have ever had the pleasure of reading. The ending is to die for and so fluffy - it never fails to warm my heart <3

3. Straight to Voicemail by cabbagetop

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

“Red Hood. I need you to incapacitate Timothy Drake-Wayne.” “Aw, man,” Jason sighs, shouldering through the old wooden doors and out into the street with his books under his arm. “You and half the northern hemisphere. What’d he do this time?”

Jason's phone is blowing up about one Timothy Drake-Wayne (who is Jason's responsibility since when, exactly?). Jason comfort-eats. Jason suffers long. Jason reluctantly tries to keep this Raphus cucullatus of a human being alive, and maybe finds himself sidling back into the family while he's at it.

My thoughts: I was crying with laughter by the third sentence. If you want free serotonin, you will find it here folks, I guarantee it. Brilliantly written and hilarious and such a fantastic interpretation of Jason's character. Please read this lmao <3

4. miss me? by envysparkler

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Jason’s plan to observe his family’s reactions to his resurrection…does not go as intended.

My thoughts: I think I've recommended this one at least once before, but I will do so again because it is one of the best stories I have ever had the honour of reading on AO3. It has a happy ending, but was another fic which actually made me tear up. It is just beautiful and I'm sure some of you have read it before. Read it again even if you have - it's that good.

5. No Pain, All Gain by @sohotthateveryonedied

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Bruce checks Tim’s IV. “Are you in any pain? Do you need more morphine?”

Tim’s pupils are so wide that only the faintest ring of blue can be seen. He watches Bruce the way a five-year-old watches cartoons. “I’m all good, B-dog. All Gucci, like we cool teens say." His words are slurred almost beyond recognition, but Tim doesn’t seem to notice or care. "I could fight Superman right now.”

My thoughts: I know of only about 3 or 4 fics featuring Tim absolutely high out of his mind on some drug or another and this has got to be one of the absolute best of them. Whenever I feel the Depression(TM) crawling in and I need to laugh INSTANTLY I read this. It has not failed me yet. I can't recommend it enough it's so funny and a great read <3 The line below from the fic makes me scream laugh EVERY TIME:

“He’s not in his right mind.” “So? Neither are you half the time but you’re still in charge of everything.”

6. The Ouija Boy by SunnyBlue

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Timothy Drake was a stillborn baby. He was born dead, stayed that way for a solid five minutes, and was then resuscitated in the delivery room. He was a child who grew up alone, but for his imaginary friends. He had so many imaginary friends, in fact, that his parents sent him to get evaluated several times over the course of his childhood, which was spent with Tim as the only heartbeat in that house.

But that didn’t mean he was alone.

---

Tim sees dead people. When a Batboys murder investigation is going nowhere, he realizes his only chance at solving the case is to speak to the ghost of one of the victims. He has to reveal his secret to his brothers -- or risk the killer getting away.

My thoughts: STAND BACK FOR POSSIBLY ONE OF MY TOP TEN FAVOURITE FICS OF ALL TIME. I'm pretty sure I've recommended this one before but I will do so again. The story is impeccable, the mystery is ELITE and everything about it is literally perfect. I re-read this at least once a month so I can bask in its greatness and become a better person for having read it.

7. there but for the grace of god by TheResurrectionist

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

From a tumblr prompt.

AKA, "A Justice League fic where everyone argues about who's the most beautiful and intimidating sexy from the Big Three and everyone has valid points."

My thoughts: I'm going to let the note I added to the bookmark I made of this fic speak for itself. Here's what I wrote: "This was so funny - shoutout Jason for undeniable lad vibes plus the fact he felt he needed to neatly organise and write down the big three's sexiest traits."

8. American Ninja Worrier by DangerBeckett

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

It's just like Tim to give a poor college student a start in the business world. Kid's a bleeding heart, and usually, that's the sort of thing Jason avoids at all costs. He prefers his bleeding hearts on the literal side, and despite Bruce's best efforts, he's never had a head for business.

Unfortunately, though, this time the business is ninjas, and that's the sort of thing that makes Jason take notice. Because Bruce is useless, and someone's gotta make sure Tim's new internship program doesn't take down all of Gotham.

That's Jason's job, after all.

My thoughts: Please GOD just read the first few paragraphs. You'll know exactly what I mean when I say that this fic is it. Hilarious, badass and adorable. I mean, see the title of this fic rec. I just knew this fic was going to be amazing from the first line.

I have many, many more of course, but I'll leave this here for now as it's getting to be a pretty long post. Anyway, these are all fics - short and long! - that I knew were going to be absolutely perfect within the first few moments of reading. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!

#fic rec #dc fic rec #dc #dcu #dc comics #fanfic #fanfics #fanfiction #charleswaterloo dc shit #charleswaterloo says shit #bruce wayne #batman #dick grayson #batfam #tim drake #jason todd #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #duke thomas #damian wayne #barbara gordon #alfred pennyworth #writing #AMAZING #PLEASE READ THEM ALL #long post

[professormembranexreader]

Membrane x Male! Irken! Reader (Headcanons)

- Let's get things clear. You are not tiny. Not like Zim.

- Like, you are the size of an average human.

- The Tallest sent you away because they feared you'd try to overthrow them or something.

- Who knows?

- You were sent away before Zim was banished. So when Zim came by Earth, it took all you had in you not to publicly shame him—not for being an alien, but for being fucking intolerable.

- But when you looked into it, you realized there was unknown danger that you'd been avoiding.

- Dib.

- You did some research into the family and immediately sought out his father.

- You donned your human disguise you had packed oh so many years ago and set out to find Professor Membrane.

- Which was surprisingly easier than you thought.

- Especially since you were already working for him. You just didn't realize that was his full name. He actually was a good friend. Funny how he never spoke about his kids...

- You asked him about it when you were having lunch. He got all flustered and started to spew nonsense about the "unscientific manner of the question".

- "Miguel..."

- "...yes?"

- "Why haven't you told me about your kids before?"

- If he WASNT sweating before, he sure was now.

- He mumbled out something in Spanish. Typical. /j

- "English, Professor."

- "I didn't want you to not be interested in me," he said.

- "I knew it was a long shot but I didn't want to risk losing you."

- Your heart panged.

- "Miguel..." you said, putting your hand overtop his gloved one.

- "I completely understand that this crosses lines, so please understand that if you reciprocate I must terminate you."

- Your eyes went wide.

- "NOT IN THAT WAY!" he rushed.

- He went on to explain that he had a separate division led by someone else and that while it may be a dock in pay, he could then be with you.

- But what did money matter to you? You had advanced Irken technology on your side.

- You agreed, and you got transferred to a different department over the course of a week.

- So you started dating. Which was actually very pleasant.

- Luckily, due to your amazing disguise, Dib didn't recognize you as an alien. But he was always watching you.

- Little creep...

- Gaz was cool. No other explanations.

- But time passed, and soon things got a bit more... physical.

- Your disguise didn't necessarily cover the parts of skin that were usually covered up.

- Which meant that from the waist down, your skin was still green.

- When he saw your lower half, he thought you had the same skin condition the neighbor kid had.

- So that's what he's calling it.

- You explained to him that you were an alien.

- "Immigrant is a much better word, guapo."

- "Miguel..." you sighed, "

- "These aren't my real eyes, Miguel."

- "You wear contacts? That's strange."

- "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOUR EYES EITHER MIGUEL."

- He took off his goggles to reveal his tired, sunken-in, chocolate brown eyes.

- "Now's your turn."

- You took off your disguise completely.

- "Are your eyes a part of the condition too?"

- "It's not a condition."

- "It's okay to be in denial, guapo."

- "Miguel I don't have ears. That's not a skin condition."

- "I'm sure there's a very scientific explanation for that."

- oh my god this man

- "Professor. I'm not from this planet," you said as slowly as possible. "I'm a space alien."

- "..."

- "oh"

- "..."

- "Am I allowed to find out about the aliens?"

- "Only if you suck my dick," you said jokingly.

- You shouldn't have said that.

- You should NOT have said that.

- Don't you know he will do anything in the name of science????

ONE BJ LATER

- "I'm not telling you about the aliens."

- "BUT I SUCKED YOUR DICK AND EVERYTHING."

- "Yeah, well, sucks to suck."

- You did eventually tell him but good god his face was hilarious.

- It was all pouty.

- You ruffled his hair and kissed him.

- He pulled you onto his lap and held you close.

- You started telling him all you could about extraterrestrial life.

- But as time passed, you grew more and more tired.

- You told him that you needed to get back home, and that you'd continue tomorrow.

- He couldn't wait.

#writing #membrane #professor membrane #professor membrane x reader

[simsadventures]

Gilded: Chapter 3: Power Over Me

Mobster!Steve x Reader

Summary: What more can you do than have a rad bachelorette party and then move to a house full of mobsters. It all sounds fun, right? Well, not according to your experience. 

Warnings: mobster AU, drinking, swearing, surveillance, angst, smidge of fluff, violence, mention of bruises, fear 

Word Count: 5737

A/N: A little late, I know I know, but I wanted to make sure the chapter was exactly how I wanted it. I keep thinking I will get to the wedding, and then some situations occur and I know I have to concentrate on them a little more. Than being said, I think we will finally see the wedding next! What do you think of this part? Did you like it? Is the reader a little less annoying? Let me know xx

Series Masterlist __ Masterlist 

< Previous Chapter 

The scene was supposed to be joyous, but, for some reason, the majority of what you felt was filled with sadness. Not for any particular reason, it was just the weigh of your decision finally settling in your heart and the realization hitting you that you would indeed be getting married in a week to a total stranger, who was a mobster, none less. 

You chose it, you had to remind yourself as tears fought their way in your eyes. It was just momentary sadness overpowering you, the feeling that your wedding wouldn’t be filled with people loving and caring for you, that the day would be more about showing off Steve’s power over the world than showing his love for his new bride, for whom he had none. And you would be there almost alone: no parents, no extended family, and a very few close friends. Whom you loved dearly, of course, and without whom you wouldn’t even be considering taking such a step. You needed them there, and not just the two lovable idiots you lived with. 

It was also people you’ve come to love during your university years as well as some coworkers, like Christy and Anja. Together it made around 15 people, which was actually a lot more than you had anticipated, but still. It would have to be Aidan walking you down the aisle, and just the mere thought made a choked sob escape your lips. 

The sound brought the attention of the room to you, and before you knew it, you were enveloped in a bone-crushing hug from all the people there, everyone telling you that you should be happy, that this was a good thing. Of course, nobody except Caroline and Aidan knew the reality behind the wedding. All they thought was happening was that you fell madly in love with Steve Rogers, and now you two were tying the knot. You even overhead Aisha say that you were definitely pregnant, otherwise, you wouldn’t have rushed into it like this. You tried to assure everyone that there was no pregnancy at all, but, of course, people believed what they wanted, and you lacked the energy to go around the room and speak to them individually, denying what they formed in their heads. 

It was Friday night, and you were in your apartment, surrounded by all those people who would come to your wedding. You sent a list of names to Steve that afternoon, and, after what you assumed was a background check on all of them, he agreed that yes, these 15 people could actually come. And when he did, you called an emergency meeting at your apartment, using it both as a way of inviting them to the wedding and as a kind of bachelorette party, where all you wanted to do was to drink heavily, eat a disgusting amount of carbs and pass out around dusk. Safe to say, all of your friends had been in, and by the time it was 11 PM, you were all tipsy, and people started to dance. Some (ehm, ehm, Caroline) even on a table, which was hilarious to the rest of you. 

The sadness came and went all evening, but you were determined not to let it ruin your night. So, every time you felt like it was creeping up on you again, you just told somebody and let them hug you until you were feeling better. 

Then, somebody came up with the idea to play Never Have I Ever, and since the tequila still burned in your veins, you agreed immediately. And so the game started. You were roaring like a pride of lions, each answer louder than the previous ones, but the most fun arose from telling each other funny stories. 

“Ok, so this one time I was blowing off my boyfriend, right? And you know how much I hate the taste of sperm, and he knows it as well, but this one time he really insisted on my swallowing, and so when he finally came, I squeaked and pointed somewhere behind him so that I could spit the cum to glass under the table, and when he turned around I showed him my mouth, void of any liquid, and he looked super proud,” your friend Naila laughed as she told the story to the question: never have I ever swallowed cum. 

The night was flowing smoothly, and soon, you saw that it was getting somehow lighter outside. And, sure enough, when you looked out of the window, you saw that the sunrise was coming in mere minutes. 

“Guys, guys! The sunrise is here. Let’s go to the roof to enjoy it,” you yelled even though half of the people were already fast asleep. The few of you who were still barely alive, which was around 5 of you, staggered towards the door and crawled up the stairs to the highest levels, and when you opened the last door, you had New York underneath you. 

You were wasted and exhausted, but the sight poured new life into you as you watched the early orange rays shine on one building at a time, waking up the city that never slept. It was magical, and it took your breath away. You felt your worries melting away as you saw a new day coming, and you thought it was a new day with many possibilities and hopes for you. You had nothing to lose, and Steve proved to you that he would, indeed, take care of you if need be. All would be if you just played your part and learned enough about Steve to be able to escape his wrath. 

The exhaustion then hit your body just as the ray hit your face, and you waved at the drunk group watching the sunrise, each of them in their own realm of thoughts, and soon enough, you sauntered back to your room, where you fell asleep just like the rest of the bachelorette party. 

A piercing tone woke you up with a start, and, for a second, you didn’t even know where you were, what time it was, or even what fucking century it was. The throbbing in your head prevented your brain from functioning properly, and so you rummaged through the pile of clothes next to your bed, fishing for what was obviously your phone. Gosh, how you hated the ringtone, and you reminded yourself to just mute your phone altogether because then nothing like this could happen again. 

You picked up without so much as looking at the screen and just sneered a harsh what into the speaker. 

“Well, good morning to you too, honey,” you heard Steve’s smug voice and rolled your eyes so hard the pain in your head increased. “Is this the way to greet your future husband? I don’t fucking think so,” he continued, and a considerable part of you contemplated just hanging up on him and his annoyingly sexy voice. 

“Steve, I have no fucking idea what time it is, but it’s definitely not time for you to call me and want me to be nice. Give me a few good hours of sleep, and then we can talk, ok?” You hoped this would do it, but from the silence on the other side, you assumed he wouldn’t let be just yet. 

“What happened? Did your bachelorette party get a little out of hand, and you went to sleep only after sunrise?” 

You gasped, shocked how he knew any of it, and for the first time, the fog in front of your brain lifted a little bit. You checked the time, and seeing it was only 9 AM, you assumed that asshole woke you up on purpose if he knew so much about your nightly activities. 

“How the fuck-“

“Language!” He yelled suddenly, and you flinched at the intensity of his voice. “I know everything, and I told you I would have somebody keeping an eye on you at all times. You’re only lucky the guy sleeping next to you is gay, you’d be in so much trouble otherwise, honey,” Steve spat, and the only sound you could muster was a long huff, as you regretted ever being born. 

“What do you want, Steve? If you know so much, you must know that I’m beat and all I wanna do is sleep, with a guy in my bed or without him. So, if you have something to tell me, please do, otherwise, have a good day, and I’ll catch up with you later.”

“We’re gonna have so much fun together, you and I, Y/N. I’m calling because I wanted to let you know that your room is prepared and ready for you and that your bodyguard will pick you up at exactly 8 PM, so don’t be late. Clint will also help you carry all things you need. I’ll send you his number so that you can be in touch with him. Oh, and honey? Take some aspirin and go to sleep, you sound like you need it,” even through the phone, you could hear him smirk as he hung up and let you on your own once again. Thank God.

“Who was it?” Aidan asked sleepily from the other side of the bed, and you just grumbled some response, not really sure if he understood what you meant, but when he hummed and patted your outstretched hand, you took it as yes, I understand you mean your future husband Steve Rogers, nice talk. 

The phone signalled you received a text, and when you looked at it, it was your bodyguard’s phone number and a directive, telling you to go to sleep already, because the dark circles under your eyes didn’t suit you. 

Oh, how you wanted to kill this man already. He got on your nerves more easily than anybody ever before, and for a brief moment, you wondered why he affected you so. You didn’t even know him, and you shouldn’t let him tossing you back and forth, but here you were, pissed because you could just imagine how proud he was of himself that he woke you up and told you what to do so many times in such a short call. 

Sighing, you got up from the bed and went to check the window to see if you could spot the nosy bodyguard ratting on you to Steve. You needed to have a word with him because he just couldn’t go running to Steve every time you blinked. 

Looking around the street, you tried to spot a strange vehicle, one that didn’t fit into the street you grew to know so well. And, sure enough, there was a large SUV, much like the one you had driven with Steve before, and you noticed that the windows were tilted. Since your apartment was on the first floor, anybody from the street had a great view right into your flat, and because you passed out totally exhausted, you didn’t have the time, nor did you remember to shut your blinds. 

You huffed and shut them now, cursing Steve and his nosiness because he wasn’t making your life any easier, and you weren’t even married yet. The year in front of you would be annoying and difficult, but maybe it would make you feel alive again. 

Shaking your head, you didn’t let the memories flood your brain as you strode back to your back, plopped on it belly-first and fell straight asleep.

“Are you sure it’s everything?” Aidan looked around your now half-empty room, except for the furniture that you knew you wouldn’t need. Steve promised to give you a furnished room, and you took his word for it, so you just took the essentials, like your clothes and sentimental stuff. Marie Condo would have been proud because you still managed to get rid of a few things that didn’t spark joy!

“Yeah, and even if I left something here, I could still come, you know? It’s not like I’m never seeing you or this place again. I’ll still be like a 30-minute ride away,” you smiled soothingly at him, but he just shook his head, obviously fighting all the emotions swirling in his heart. 

“Alright, alright. No crying. I’ll call you guys when I’m all settled, and Steve actually lets me be by myself, and I’ll show you the room, ok?”

Both Aiden and Caroline nodded speechlessly and then pulled you in a group hug. 

“You sure you wanna do it? We can still make it seem like we kidnapped you and take you somewhere to Mexico, or Argentina, or wherever he wouldn’t find you,” Caroline whispered, and you laughed through the tears fighting their way out of your eyes. 

“I’ll be fine, you’ll see. We will all have so much fun, and before we know it, the year is over, and I’m back here with you guys, having lived a little,” you smirked, and they nodded reassuringly, not really sure if it really was the best way to live a life, but they didn’t want to push you again. Your heart was set, and they both knew there was nothing they could do now. Except, of course, really kidnapping you. 

“Miss Y/L/N, we should go. The boss said we should be there at 9 PM at the latest, and I would prefer if we could be a little early,” Clint said professionally, but you could see that he was afraid of what would Steve do had you arrived late. You didn’t want to start this weird-ass journey by pissing your future husband or making him hurt his employees (you didn’t know whether he would actually do that, but just to be on the safe side, since he did cut off a guy’s finger a mere few days ago). 

You nodded and stepped from your best friends, looking at them and smiling brightly. You didn’t want any teary goodbyes, so you just showed them thumbs up and followed Clint out of the door. You knew there would be some tears when you left but didn’t think they would come as early as on the first step from your apartment. 

Fortunately, there weren’t that many steps to go before you were out of the building and rushed into the SUV by Clint. It was dark already, but you didn’t want him to see you cry, so you swiftly pulled out your sunglasses and put them on, not saying a word to Clint as he started the car and pulled it into New York’s night traffic. The lights around you were almost blinding, and for a moment, you were glad you had the glasses on, but then another wave of regret and sadness hit you, and you had a hard time keeping in the sobs. Scratching your arms, you stared out of the window and took a few calming breaths, telling yourself to get a grip because you were about to enter the lion’s den, and you couldn’t show them any emotions. 

You knew Clint knew what was going on, but he was gentleman enough not to comment on it. Still, you needed to make sure he understood this little episode was just between the two of you. 

“Can I ask you something, Clint?” You said suddenly and saw his eyes flickering between the road and the mirror, meeting your eyes for a moment. 

“Of course, Miss Y/L/N. However, I should warn you, I am not allowed to give you certain information,” he said formally, and you nodded knowingly. 

“Yeah, right. If I asked you to keep a little secret from your boss, would you keep it?” You asked and nibbled on your lower lip anxiously. 

He seemed to have thought for a second before he nodded his head in a manner telling you that there were things Steve didn’t need to know. His eyes met yours again before he spoke up. 

“I’m now your bodyguard, and if I think the information kept from the boss is in your best interest, then I won’t tell him anything. For example, you smiled all the way to the apartment, no tears and no sunglasses. Though, I think you should powder your nose and dry your face,” he smirked, and you laughed a little, nodding gratefully and doing exactly as he said. 

The car stopped exactly as you put all the supplies back into your purse, and you had a feeling Clint took a longer route to Steve’s house just to give your face the time to dry up and calm down. Checking the time, you saw it was 10 minutes before 9 and saw the relief on Clint’s face when he realized the same thing. 

“Alright, I will take you to the boss and then will get the boys to help with your things. We won’t go through anything, but if you need our help when you’re unpacking, all you have to do is text me,” Clint said, walking you to the door. 

The man you met on your first night there was standing as a sculpture at the exact same spot, and you wondered if he ever moved from that hallway. He did move towards you, gesturing to your purse, but Clint’s hand stopped him mid-motion. 

“She’s clean. I’ve been with her the whole time,” he said sternly and with authority, and when he saw the first man taking a breath to protest, Clint just gave him a chilling frown, and the man stepped down, hung his head in defeat and let you through. 

“It’s not a problem, Clint; I could have shown him the purse, you know?” You almost whispered as you walked through the empty rooms and hallways with Clint by your side. 

“They need to learn to respect you, Miss. You are, after all, marrying the boss very soon, and they need to understand that you are not a threat,” he gave you a curt nod, and you blushed a little. You didn’t know what it was, but the way Clint spoke to you with so much trust and respect already made you feel much better. You knew it would be an issue, so having somebody on your side was a huge relief already. 

“Thank you, Clint, I really-“ 

“Well, happy you two are best buddies already! Are you gonna braid each other’s hair and do each other’s nails soon too?” A voice snapped you back to reality, a voice you already knew too well. Steve was leaning against a door, his face stoic despite the mocking tone of his voice. Clint obviously tensed next to you, mumbled some apology and scurried out of the room, leaving you with Steve. 

You just looked at him and crossed your arms on your chest. 

“Do you need to be like this?” You asked incredulously, not really understanding why he had to be such an ass when all you did was having some sort of conversation with one of his loyal men. 

“Like what, honey? You seem to forget who I am and what I can do to you and your fucking life,” he sneered when he finally pulled away from the door and marched right in front of you. 

Your arms fell from your chest as you stared at him, trying to figure him out. Which, considering he was a prolific mobster, wasn’t the easiest task at hand. But you tried nevertheless and poked to see where was all this coming from. He obviously needed to be in control of every situation, always the centre of attention, and, you realized, it was probably this that pissed him off. You walked in, not really paying attention to him standing by the door but carelessly talking to somebody else. But his attitude was another thing entirely. 

“What do you want me to say, Steve? That I’m sorry I talked to somebody else and that it won’t happen again? You know it probably will, especially since you assigned Clint with the task of taking care of me and making sure I survive this year with you, which is really all he had done in the 40 minutes I have known him,” you reasoned, trying to sound confident but not pushy. You needed to show him that he couldn’t just toss you around like he might have thought. You didn’t expect him changing his attitude altogether for you, but you, at least, hoped he would go easy on you. 

He was seething but also thinking; you could see his mind going in overdrive to come up with something snarky and mean. But you were quicker than him, once again. 

“Will you be so kind and show me to my room? I would like to get settled in before we start talking about the wedding.”

“There will be no talk of a wedding. All you have to take care of is go tomorrow and pick your fucking dress. Everything else is being dealt with. I won’t need you tonight, so you can go and be by yourself till tomorrow,” he snapped and walked away without saying another word. 

Great, now you felt like you were grounded, and all you did was talking with somebody nice to you. You shook your head disapprovingly and headed in a direction you thought might have been your room, but after taking a few turns, you weren’t even sure you were in New York anymore. 

“Hey, what the fuck are you doing here?” You heard from behind you, and before you knew what was happening, somebody pushed you forcibly against the nearest wall, pressing their elbow into your neck. You coughed, surprised, clawing at the man’s forearms and trying to let him loosen the press because it was getting harder and harder to breathe. 

“I said, what the fuck are you doing here?” He yelled into your face, and you tried to tell him, but your voice wouldn’t come out. So, you just stared at him, tears filling your eyes before you heard a loud hey from somewhere behind you two and saw a man with long brown hair running towards you. 

“Sarge, this woman was roaming around here. I think she is a spy,” the man still holding you said to the newly arrived guy, and all you could do was shake your head and tried to make yourself look as non-threatening as possible. Which wasn’t difficult considering you were in no position to be able to even defend yourself had the man decided to crush your trachea. 

“Fucking idiot! That’s the boss’ bride! Let her go, you dickhead,” the man, sarge, growled, and you felt the pressure leaving your body. Which was all it took for you to collapse on the floor and start coughing uncontrollably, gripping your neck in your hands to protect it from any further disturbance. 

“I-I, I didn’t know, Sarge! Don’t tell him. I thought she was some fucking spy. What the hell was she even doing here all alone, huh? It’s not my fucking fault she came sniffing around stuff that is none of her business,” the man tried to defend himself, but from the murderous gaze he received from the sergeant, he wasn’t very successful. 

“Are you ok, Miss? Did he break anything? Is your head spinning? Are you feeling nauseous? Any of this?” He crouched down to your level and extended an arm to you, and you flinched instinctively, not feeling too sure who was your friend here and who wasn’t. So, to play it safe, nobody was your friend, and you’d be scared of them all, forever. Easy business. 

The man saw your reaction and frowned even more but was persistent when he removed your hands from your neck to see an already-forming bruise alongside your throat. 

“You need to talk to me, Y/N. Are you hurting anywhere?” 

You coughed and grimaced because, yes, in fact, you did hurt and that all over the fucking neck and even your head. Which, given the man almost crushed your fucking throat with his elbow, wasn’t that surprising. 

“I’ll be fine. And I wasn’t sniffing around; I was just looking for my room. I thought it might be somewhere here, and I would have asked if I saw anyone. But this place is like a fucking maze, and I was all alone,” you screeched, and the sergeant nodded and helped you to stand up. He was pulling out what looked like a phone, but you stopped him. 

“Don’t call him, please. I’m fine. I just need to get to the room, so I can put some cold water on it, have a drink and go to sleep. Please,” you accentuated and saw the man weighing his options before he put the phone back to his pocket and nodded for you to follow him. 

“I will tell him, just so you know. Steve needs to know about this, and we need to make sure you are introduced to the whole house the first thing in the morning so that this doesn’t happen again. But he needs to know. I will give you a few minutes to take it all in before I do call him, though,” he said with a resolution in his voice, and while you wanted to protest, you saw that it would have been to no avail. So, not saying another word, you let yourself in what was supposed to be your room and took it all in. 

The walls were this very soft grey, which you actually preferred to the cold white you saw a lot all over the house. There was a king-sized bed against the main wall, framed with two bed-side tables and two matching white and gold lamps. There were many pillows on the bed and a plaid, grey and blue, throw as well, making it all feel very homey. You could see a large closet, where you could have easily fit ten times the amount of clothes you owned. The only other thing in the room was a table with a chair and some drawers, where you could picture yourself working and writing. 

However, when you turned around, you saw something that caught your attention. An easel with a little table on wheels, on top of which was a palette where you could see yourself mixing colors left and right. You squealed, but the sound reminded you that you have just been assaulted and that you could admire the room later. 

You took your time in the bathroom, inspecting your neck and hissing here and there when you touched it carefully. You knew the sarge was outside your door, probably counting in his head before he called Steve, and you were actually pretty surprised he wasn’t marching in already. Just when you thought of it, the door to your room flew open, and you heard Steve and the man talking (well, actually, more like yelling at each other).

“Where the fuck is she? I’m going to kill Drax. I swear to fucking God, man. How is it even possible that he does shit like this? They were all supposed to be briefed, for fuck’s sake. Imma have Sam’s ass as well for this. Fuck!” He yelled and kicked into something, which made you frowned, and you rushed out of the bathroom. 

Steve spun around and almost ran towards you, cradling your face in his hands carefully and lifting your head so that he could have a clear view of the injuries. He was swearing under his breath, but you couldn’t help it and stare at him, wide-eyed. He was actually careful with you, sweet even as he took it all in, and when he was sure you wouldn’t die right there, he took a step back from you. 

“Are you ok?” He asked after a moment, and all you could was just nod and stand there awkwardly, scratching your arms behind your back. 

“Will you be able to find your room easier next time?” 

“No, we took too many turns. But I won’t leave this room till morning anyway, and I will learn to stay out of the way very quickly, I promise,” you rushed to say, not really wanting to meet any of his crew alone again. 

“You can’t be scared walking around here, honey. I will show you around right now, and I have already called an emergency meeting, and I want you there. This can never happen again,” he said gravely, and you understood this was probably his way of apologizing for something that wasn’t really all his fault. Well, he didn’t have to storm off and leave you there, nor did he have to scare Clint away, who was ready to show you to your room in the first place. 

“Is it necessary, Steve? If I’m quite honest, I don’t feel too comfortable leaving the room right now,” you quipped, but Steve wasn’t listening anymore. He just grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the door. Weirdly, you felt a little better having the skin-on-skin contact with him because, at least now, nobody would be stupid enough to attack you. 

You tried to remember the way and took in the details that would make you not lose your trail again, such as the red vase on one of the tables in the corner that looked just like the corner two minutes ago, but the vase was something you could remember, so you took a mental note of that and other little things that would serve for your safety, obviously. Because when Steve told you people would want you dead, you sort of didn’t expect those people would be in the house with you. 

You walked through the spacious kitchen and the adjacent dining room to find yourself in what looked like a meeting room, with around 20 men gathered and scattered all over the room. 

When Steve finally stopped, he let go of your hand, but he instinctively reached for you and pulled you against his side. You looked at him in slight disbelief again but didn’t say anything as he stared in front of himself till the room was as quiet as a freaking church during a sermon. 

“Let me make this very quick: however lays as much as a fucking finger on Y/N here, I will kill you, and I won’t give a fuck who you are. You were briefed that I’m getting married to the woman I want, and because somebody wasn’t paying attention to the fucking briefing, evidently, my fiancé is now sporting a black neck, which she will have to cover for our wedding. Drax, you and I will speak tomorrow, I was ready to kill you, but I’m a reasonable man, so I will sleep and think of your punishment then. Now, any questions?” He asked threateningly, and you knew even if somebody did have a question, nobody would dare to ask it now. 

And just as you predicted, the room was as quiet as before, and Steve waved his hand so that everybody was dismissed and they could breathe again. Just not in his presence. 

“Sam, you stay here,” Steve added when he saw one of his closest men leaving the room as well. 

“I will deal with him, Steve. I don’t know how that could have happened, but it won’t ever again, I promise. If it does, you can have my head, man,” the bulky man said and smiled warmly at you. 

“By the way, hi, I’m Sam. I’m like the muscles here, you know? So, if you need to pick something up, I’m your guy,” he said with a wink, and you chuckled but took his hand to shake it. 

“Nice to meet you, Sam, and I will remember that, thank you.” 

“Alright, now, we have all the pleasantries behind us, you can go back to your room and go to sleep. And Y/N, if anybody as much as looks at you the wrong way, you tell me, ok? This marriage might not be a genuine one, but none of these assholes knows that or should care about that. They should protect you just like they protect me, and I don’t care what they say. I can’t have my fucking wife scared to walk these halls,” he was still frowning as he was saying all this to you, but you could see he was much more relaxed than when all the men were in the room. These two, the sergeant whose name you still didn’t know, and Sam, were obviously close to Steve because despite the winks Sam gave to you, Steve didn’t make a scene, nor did he give you the pointed looks when others were around. Still, you were on thin ice, and there was too much drama for one day for you to try and challenge him in any way. 

“Ay ay, Captain,” you chuckled, and the corner of Steve’s mouth actually moved a little, so you took that as a good sign. 

“Alright, I will try and get back to my room and call it a day because tomorrow is an important day! So, nice to meet you, gentlemen, and I will see you soon, I guess,” you waved at them awkwardly, and Sam waved back enthusiastically as you left the men to themselves. 

“She is actually quite nice,” Sam summarized, and winked at Bucky, who just rolled his eyes at him in annoyance, having just enough of Sam’s antics for one day. 

“Yeah, yeah, she actually is, when she’s not talking back and challenging every fucking thing I say,” Steve complained, and it was a turn for both men to roll their eyes at their best friend. 

“Oh yeah, because you love when they’re meek and quiet, we forgot. C’mon, man, somebody fucking choked her today, and she was still standing here with her head held high, keeping it together like a fucking pro. I say she is perfect for you,” Sam said defensively when he saw the murderous stare from his friend/boss. 

Good thing Sam didn’t see you in your room because as soon as you closed the door behind yourself, the tears just streamed down your face, and small sobs left your lips. You were glad the day was over and dreaded what the next day would bring. 

Next Chapter >

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[ellewriteswrongs]

picking favorites (a @tsbandau drabble)

if y’all aren’t emotionally invested in @underdog-arts ‘s band au, idk what y’all are even doing /j

anyway, here’s a wholesome family drabble insp. by the band au and my (not-so) subtle obsession with remus and janus. also subbing to their patreon is the best $5 i’ve probably ever spent, no joke

“Honey, you can still pick up Ry, right?” Janus called down the hallway, carrying a basket of laundry on each hip before depositing them in the hallway to put away later. Remus was seated in their shared office catching up on emails as Janus began packing up leftover pasta into containers to take to their show scheduled that night. 

“I told you I got ‘em,” he agreed, banging the last clumps of his protein shake into his mouth with the heel of his hand. “I’m gonna’ jog to V’s and grab the van.”

Janus nodded to themself out of instinct before faltering, their brow furrowing. 

“Wait—Re, that’s like three miles,” they challenged, dumping the dirtied dishes into the sink. “Just take the fucking car.”

Remus’ snort laugh was audible from down the hallway. 

“They asked for the van!” Remus cackled. “And I, for one, do not disappoint. Apparently making my kid’s friends think they’re cool is worth a three-mile jog.”

Janus rolled their eyes, albeit fondly. This was, unfortunately, not news. 

Riley was having an…interesting phase. It wouldn’t be abnormal for kids their age if it weren’t for the fact that their parents were ridiculously competitive, and all of their parents’ friends were eager to get in on it. 

As soon as Remus attended career day in Riley’s first grade classroom, resulting in the entire class of six-year-olds marveling at the fact that their friend’s dad was a “rock star.”

Janus loved that conversation over dinner that night. 

They weren’t jealous. No, in fact, it was probably overdue for Riley to have a bit of a “Daddy’s kid” phase, considering how joined at the hip they were with Janus for multiple years now. But they wanted to win. 

Riley could make their own decisions about picking a favorite parent. As long as that decision was Janus. 

“You’ve gone so-oft,” they sing-songed, smirking as Remus appeared in the kitchen behind them, wrapping one hand around their hip and pressing a kiss to their temple. “Ry’s got you wrapped around their finger.”

Remus have a flash of his crooked grin. 

“Yeah, well…at least I know where they get that from.”

Janus rolled their eyes, trying to hide their reddening face. 

“Sap,” they grumbled fondly. “Hurry up and get on with your run before you’re late to pickup. And tell V I said hey.”

Remus gave an exasperated chuckle and affirmation, but pocketed his keys and wallet nonetheless. 

The jog to Virgil’s apartment wasn’t a particularly strenuous three miles, being downtown and all, and Remus was far from out of shape. Still, three miles was three miles—especially in the late afternoon sun. Needless to say, Virgil wasn’t thrilled to have a giant sweaty man on his doorstep, but he handed over the keys nonetheless. 

The van was old, still clinging to its axels from when Remus himself purchased it from an old neighbor and declared it the band’s “tour bus.” It was nice enough at the time, especially for the price he paid, but it certainly wasn’t still around for anything more than sentimental value. 

Mainly just Remus refusing to get rid of it. 

That, and the fact that, for whatever reason, Riley thought it was the coolest thing ever. 

The drive wasn’t long, only the sitting in traffic of other parents in minivans trying to get into the school parking lot. He…wasn’t a fan of that part of being a parent, that’s for sure. He could do without any other parents, thank you very much, but at least it was fun to see how obvious all of them were in their distaste of both him and Janus, compared to how much their kid absolutely adored them. 

A fact that was only proven when Remus eventually made it to the parking lot and exited his van, only to be met with ear-splitting squeal of “daddy!” and an armful of six-year-old. 

He can’t deny how, even after all these years, the title still makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Like…he is a dad. That’s his kid! How fucking rad is that!

He happens to spot a few other parents, along with some of Riley’s friends that he recognizes, and he offers a quick wave with the hand that isn’t mussing up his kid’s hair. 

“You brought the van,” Riley points out with a toothy grin that Remus can’t help mirroring. He can’t help the knot in his throat when he spots the gap in their teeth from their first ever lost tooth—which only meant they were getting much too old and Remus would really appreciate it if they would slow the fuck down.

“I told you I would, didn’t I?” Riley nods, bouncing on Remus’ hip just a bit out of excitement. “I gotta’ warn you though, JJ’s getting pretty jealous.”

Riley laughs before sticking out their tongue and making a fart noise in Remus’s face. 

Remus is, for the thousandth time, bewildered at how Riley couldn’t possibly be more like Janus if they tried. And mostly smitten. He has the coolest kid on Earth, after all. 

“They can suck my butt!” Riley squeals and Jesus Christ, Remus is going to have a heart attack right there in the parking lot. He’s gonna’ have to grill Jan again to make sure those two aren’t secretly biologically related. 

“Hey, your words not mine, squirt,” he smirks, opening the van door and strapping them into the car seat. “And your early bedtime if you let JJ hear any of that.”

He finishes with a pinch on their nose before closing the van door and getting back in the driver’s seat. 

Riley, as soon as the radio turn on, starts protesting very aggressively to listen to “your songs, daddy! Play your songs!” 

Thankfully, he has a CD burned with some of their…cleaner songs for that exact purpose. 

Riley, for lack of a better word, was ‘singing’ along at a volume that Remus would’ve otherwise found hilarious and impressive if it wasn’t right in his ear. Still, there was a certain fondness that came with watching his kid’s excitement over his work—something that, as usual, was paired with thrashing within the confines of a car seat and headbanging their little heart out. 

Along the drive Remus made every attempt to stop the barrage of the screamo singer in the making, but all were ultimately unsuccessful. At least…until he pointed out one particular building out of a strip mall assortment. 

“Hey, you see that store right there? The one with the red sign?” He spoke up, catching Riley’s eager attention in an instant. They placed both hands on the van window to look out. 

“What is it?” They asked, squinting to try and read what was on the sign. 

“You know the snake on my leg?” Riley nodded, quieting down. “That’s where JJ took me to get it.”

They paused, seemingly putting some pieces together in their head.

“How come you only have one?” They asked, still kicking their legs against their seat. “JJ has lots, how come you don’t have lots too?”

Remus chuckled, continuing along the road as the light turned green. 

“‘Cause I don’t need another one. They’re very expensive, you know.”

“Is it ‘cause you’re a wimp?” 

Remus choked on his own spit. 

“N-no,” he choked out, laughing. “No I’m not, I just think it looks better this way.”

He didn’t bother looking into the backseat to see what Riley thought of that answer, but if the return to karaoke that followed was any indication, they were not impressed. Still, he’d probably take the teasing over the screaming, but kids are kids. 

Even as they pulled into their driveway, Remus had to strategically dodge Riley’s flailing limbs in order to un-fasten the seatbelts on their car seat and actually get them in the house. Apparently the music was not as vital to the ‘sing-along’ as he’d hoped it was when he turned the car off. 

“Alright, alright, calm those legs down before you knock my teeth out, will ya’?” Remus teased, placing Riley on his shoulders where they instantly took fistfuls of his hair to hold on. Riley toned down the velocity, but otherwise did not stop. “Careful, squirt, if you wanna’ kick so bad, I’m signing you up to play soccer.”

Riley stopped almost instantaneously, gripping Remus’ hair even tighter as they headed back inside the house, Riley’s tiny backpack slung around Remus’ forearm. 

“Nooo,” they wailed, half punctuated by laughter that echoed through the house. 

“What are we complaining about?” Janus spoke, leaning against the doorway across the room with a fond smile. 

“He said if I kick him in the teeth I have to play soccer,” Riley whined, attempting to climb down from Remus’ shoulders on their own. Janus snorted a laugh before swiftly crossing the room to collect their child and place them on their hip. 

“Wow, your daddy’s so mean,” Janus agreed, raising a challenging eyebrow as they stood in front of their husband. Remus pouted before bending down to steal a kiss.

“Gross,” Riley giggled, pressing a hand on each of their parents’ faces to separate them. 

“Gross?” Janus smirked. “Well in that case, maybe your dad was being a bit unfair.”

Riley turned to Remus to stick out their tongue at him. 

“I mean, soccer? That’s just ridiculous,” Janus continued, a mischievous glint in their eyes. “We’ll obviously have to sign you up for football instead. A punt like that has got to be put to good use.”

Riley immediately went back to their dramatized complaining, this time reaching desperately for Remus to get him to take them back from Janus—to which Remus just held up his hands in mock innocence.

“No can do, kid,” he smirked. “The punishment has to fit the crime, after all.”

Riley continued their attempts to wiggle out of Janus’ unyielding grip.

“Never!” They declared, trying a different approach of reaching over Janus’ shoulder to escape from behind. “I won’t! I won’t do it, I promise!”

Remus and Janus both knew they wouldn’t actively try to hurt either of them, but sometimes it was just more fun to assert rules when it came with shrieking laughter and climbing their parents like a jungle gym.

“Well, now you know where we stand,” Remus spoke in false authority, reaching for one of Riley’s tiny shoes and holding it up to address it as if it were in control of their legs. “I better not see you around these parts again, ya’ hear?” He added in an over-the-top western accent, gesturing to his face. 

Riley squealed with laughter as he held out his hand for a handshake and they shook it with their accused foot. 

“Alright, alright, you two,” Janus intervened with fond exasperation. “Snacks are on the counter, take it or leave it.”

Riley whipped their head around to peer into the kitchen, cheering when they spotted two plates on the kitchen counter, each with a toaster waffle piled high with blueberries. 

“Second…breakfast!” They cheered, drumroll-ing on their leg before whooping and slinking out of Janus’ grip and climbing up onto the kitchen barstools. Remus, giving a fond eye-roll at the enthusiasm, turned to drape his arms over Janus’ shoulders from behind, perching his chin on top of their head. 

“They get it from you, you know,” he mumbled, smirking at the scoff it earned him. 

“Shut up,” Janus grumbled, the smile evident in their voice. “That is all you.”

“Babe, sports are a threat in this house,” he teased. “You’re telling me that came from me?”

“Yeah, I’ll take that one,” they chided, turning around to face their husband. “As long as you’re aware that the energy, the volume—honey, that’s all you.”

Remus quirked his brow with a proud smirk. 

“Or maybe it’s the fact that they sleep for fourteen hours and we haven’t even had eight in the last six years,” he challenged knowingly. “You know, I happen to remember that back in the day…that bed was hardly even for sleeping.”

Janus snorted, their face reddening slightly.

“Is it bad to think of those as the ‘good old days’ already?”

Remus swept a piece of their hair out of their face. 

“Hell no, dude. We lived like kings back then,” he chuckled. “How ‘bout this—I’ll get Ro to take ‘em to the park or something this weekend and I’ll dick you down just like old times, ‘kay?”

Janus sputtered out a cackle, smacking Remus on the chest before covering his mouth with their hand.

“Fucking christ, they’re like two yards away,” they hissed, still laughing. “I am not going to be the one fielding questions about what getting dicked down means, oh my god.”

“You say that like they listen to anything when there’s food in front of them,” Remus countered, nodding in the direction of their kid as Janus rolled their eyes with a chuckle. 

“Now that, is from you,” they grinned, jabbing him in the side with their elbow. 

“Hey, it’s not my fault you’re serving up delicacies like toaster waffles,” Remus said, raising his hands in mock defense. 

Janus gave him a look before crossing their arms. 

“Yeah, well, you’re lucky I know you can’t go two hours without food. Go on, there’s one for you, even if it’s probably cold by now,” they teased as Remus excitedly kissed their forehead before practically running to the kitchen. He hopped up to sit on the counter, folding each toaster waffle like a blueberry-filled taco before funneling them into his mouth. 

Janus followed close behind—at a normal pace, thank you very much—and took the actual seat next to their kid, sipping at the cup of tea they had left on the counter before the two had returned home as they listened to Riley regaling their day at school.

———

Realistically, Remus probably should’ve seen it coming. He was a couple days past his previous record of days as Riley’s “favorite” and he knew he likely didn’t have much longer before Janus dethroned him again, but he certainly hadn’t expected the scene he walked in on that night. 

He had heard hushed laughter coming from one of their house’s bathrooms that evening, assuming at first that Janus was just handling Riley’s bath or something like that, but as he cleaned up the mess from their dinner and finished washing the rest of their dishes, he was surprised to find they were still in there. So obviously he had to investigate. 

He knocked on the door, rolling his eyes fondly as shushing and giggles came from within. 

“Everything good in there?” He teased, leaning against the door. “I gotta’ say, I’m a little hurt I didn’t get invited to whatever club this is that hangs out in the bathroom.”

More giggles followed by the oh-so familiar sound of Janus’ shushing. 

“I guess I’ll just have to find out for myself what all the fuss is about,” he sing-songed, slowly creaking open the door before letting out a snort laugh at the scene before him. 

Janus was seated on the edge of the bathtub, wash cloth in hand, as Riley sat on the sink counter, covered on all limbs with temporary tattoos. At least the pieces of tape that Janus had cut into circles and colored black to look like ear gauges were admittedly cute. 

“Oh, I see how it is,” he smirked from against the doorframe. 

“JJ said you’re a wimp,” Riley proudly announced. “I was right.”

Janus stuck their tongue out and made a spitting noise and…yeah, that was their kid alright. Not that Remus would have it any other way. 

#anyway.......i would die for them #my writing #tsbandau #sanders sides #ts remus #ts janus

[sadlysober]

like to watch you suffer

Dream Team roomates x gn!reader Summary: Youre playing a scary game and your roommates come in to laugh at you support you. Warnings: swearing, shitty description of bloody/creepy things. lmk when you find any! A/N: just watched Tommy’s fnaf stream and i died. If you have any tips, requests or ideas, feel free to send them in :)

Starting up Twitch with hesitation as you check your subscriber count one last time to be sure. You reached your subgoal on your last stream and promised the chat to play a spooky game. Playing mostly family friendly games and usually with a group of friends, you weren’t exactly excited to be playing 2017′s Resident Evil 7. Clips from Jack and Felix only made you dread this moment even more. Appearantly your chat loves seeing you scared shitless.

You start your stream as you normally would: greating the chat, answering some dono’s. “I actually hate you guys for making me do this. But we’re gonna try it anyways. I have a slight idea what’s coming and am mentally not prepared, so let’s see how long I will last before crapping my pants.” You force a smile at your camera and start the game.

The first hour was doable, a couple of jumpscares and some bloody stuff. A few of the jumpscares made you squeal, while the disgusting cutscenes made you want to throw up. Losing your focus on the game as you read some of the dono’s. A lot of them were about the game and people wishing you a good stream. A couple of questions about the Dream Team popped up. “What is George up to? I think he might be streaming as well I’m not -” The loud noise in your headphones, accompanied by a bloody faces canabal with a chainsaw made you shriek, followed by a ton of swear words and you taking of your headphones, rolling your chair away from your desk.

As you sit a couple of feet away from your desk you hear a door closing and footsteps in the hallway. You open your door and call out. “Gogy?” Your chat can’t hear the boy answering you. “You busy? No? Want to join my suffering? Yeah ofcourse you do, bring a chair!” The dark haired boy walks into your room rolling his chair in, a tad too excited. Your chat went insane, seeing him come through the door.

“You already died? Damn, N/N.” He teased, sitting down next to you. His legs propped up on his chair, face popping in and out of the frame.

“Would you like to try, Gogy?” You mimicked his accent, causing George to lean back into his chair. “Alright, goodluck not dying.” He said in the saltiest voice he could. You put your headphones back on, plugging in a second pair for George and handing him the headphones. You continue playing the game, almost getting used to the disgustingness of the house.

“N/N, I have to agree with chat, seeing you being a scaredy cat is hilarious.” In the meantime you’re turning into Y/N “I am going to shit myself” Y/L/N. George just laughs at you while hanging out with the chat. Yet he too flinches at the jumpscares. “Guys, the reason you can’t see George right now is because he is a big pussy.” You laugh, recieving a soft punch to your arm in return.

Another half hour of you and George sitting on the edges of your chairs until Nick decides to have some fun. After hearing you yell a couple of times he’d tune into your stream. He waited for the right moment; you had just finished a cut scene and was wandering though the dark house that felt like a maze. The squeaky sound of the door opening made you lean back in your chair a bit more, as if something or someone would jump out of the room behind it.

The door behind you flew open with a loud bang, causing you and George to yielp. Followed by another jumpscare in the game. “Fuck you Sapnap, you little shit cunt fuck you-” You utter under your breath as you try your best not to die in game.

“Sapnap!” George whined. “What? I heard there was a party.” The boy stood in your doorframe, a cheeky grin covering his face. “Can I join?” He somewhat asked, already pulling out a chair to sit down besides you.

“Fine, but no more messing around or I’ll end the fucking stream guys.” Your chat excitedly greated him. Spamming you there will be a savepoint in a bit. “Alright guys I’m just gonna go for one more savepoint, if i don’t die from adrenaline overdose by then.”

The boys on your sides bickered while you were trying to find the way out. “Go left.” Nick hinted. “Don’t listen to him, N/N.” George told you. They were like some twisted kind of devil/angel pair on your shoulders. “Have you played this before Gogy?” Nick spat, looking over to the boy on the other side of you. “No, but they came from-” He tried to defend himself, before getting cut off. “That’s what I thought, leave it to the pro then.” 

Trusting Nick’s gut you followed his instruction and went left. The sound of your footsteps are accompanied by heavy breathing, you look around with the little light you have. When you don’t immediatly die and thank Nick for the advice. A loud noice makes you turn around as you watch some creepy dolls fall down. “The sounds are honestly the creepiest thing about this game.” You say, continuing to walk around the room, looking for clues. Nick watches you, unbothered by the scary sounds as he doesn’t have any headphones on. “Chat why do you keep spamming ‘DEATH’? I’m not dying, I am clearly a pro.” You say proudly, not being as scared and jumpy as you had been. Yet the grin appearing on Nick’s face is telling you you should be. Moments later it became clear why. A loud screech, followed by one of the residents running towards you holding an axe and piercing the weapon through your chest.

The boy next to you dies of laughter, panting as he tries to catch his breath. “Your face- oh my god you face.” You shake your head at the boy. “Why did I even trust you in the first place. I thought you knew where the exit was.” You say, a tiny bit dissapointed in yourself for falling for it, but also laughing as George almost falls out of his chair from laughter. “Oh, but I do know where the exit is.” Nick teases. You look the boy dead in the eye and start debating whether or not to continue the game.

“100 subs and they’ll continue.” George tells your chat. “Guys, no-” It only took a couple of seconds until the counter was halfway there.

dreamwastaken has gifted 50 subs: go until the next savepoint

"Let’s go, N/N, you heard the big man.” You look straight into your camera and sigh. Alt-tabbing to swearword at Clay on Discord before going back to the game. “I hate every single one of those 50 subs and Dream. One more savepoint and that’s it!” 

George nudges your arm, asking if Clay can join your little scary party. “Do I really need more critisism? What do we think chat? Spam 1 if you want Dream here, 2 if you don’t.” The chats start pouring in. “No, you’re supposed to spam 2 guys! Why aren’t you on my side. Argh, fine.” You shut your camera off and wait for Clay to come in. “No face reveal today guys.” George comments on your chat going crazy.

“You can sit on my lap Dream.” Nick said jokingly, tapping his lap. “I’d rather sit on George’s.” “No way.” The boys bicker back and forth. 

“Dream, get out of the frame I’m turning my camera back on.” The tall guy settles on your bed, being able to see your monitor and the two guys next to you.

“Why do you keep dying, N/N?” He teases as you respawn in game.

“Think you can do better?” You ask, taking a right this time.

“I know I can.” You hear him mutter from the bed behind you.

You press pause, taking your hand of the controller. “Alright guys, you're all talk, why don’t you give it a try huh.”

“Cause we like watching you suffer.” Clay answers. You look over to your roommates, each and every one of them grinning at you.

With a loud sigh you continue playing the game, causing a lot of giggles and teasing as you almost have a heart attack. Nick and Clay keep their commentary coming as George mainly focusses on your chat. You get to the savepoint and finally end the stream.

Turning around in your chair so you face Clay. “I really hate you guys, that was the scariest shit I’ve ever played.”

George rests his arm on your shoulder. “No you don’t.”

“You love us.” Nick adds.

#i never actually played the game nor finished watching jack's playthrough #i did almost throw up #so if things dont add up game-wise #excuse me being too pussy to do proper research #dream smp #mcyt #georgenotfound #dreamwastaken #sapnap #dream #george #x reader #dream smp x reader #mcytx reader

[bearlytolerant]

Fandom: Dragon Age

Pairing: Solavellan (Modern AU)

Ch Rating: T

Ch WC: 2169

AO3

Chapter 7

Another day at the office. Editing, emails and the ever elusive caller that enables equal opportunities for playing phone tag. A game Solas never enjoys participating in. The morning slides by and Varric is at his desk, twirling his keys around his finger.

“Lunch?”

Solas glances up and sighs. “I’m trying to get a hold of Seeker Pentaghast. Sera said she had more info on an agent that might have a lead on Crystal Red.”

“That sounds like a lot of maybes and probablys and a whole lot of I don’t give a fuck. You’re allowed to take a break and get some lunch.”

“What if they call while I’m away?”

“They can leave a message. Now let’s get out of here before we don’t have any time at all for food.”

Solas shoves back his chair and follows Varric. “I did pack a lunch today,” he mentions.

“Save it for tomorrow then. I’m craving some street tacos and there’s a truck just up the road. I’ll buy so you don’t have to worry about it.”

“I am less concerned about finances and more concerned about getting food from a truck.”

“Ah, live a little Chuckles,” Varric says as he gives Solas a whack on the back.

“If living a little, as you say, means spending two days on the toilet. Perhaps I do not wish to live a little.”

“Well come with me and grab something else. I’m sure there’s something you’d find worthy of your tastes nearby.”

A half hour later and Solas is holding a taco that’s worth the regret he’ll experience from his future self. Some chipotle mayo dribbles down his chin and he swipes it away while pulling out his phone.

He checks his messages. One from Sarya and one from Veda. He taps on the one from Veda first.

Connor went home sick. Pick me up after school today?

He checks the time and swears. How did he not realize he took such a late lunch? She needs to be picked up right now. He dials her number as he stuffs his arms into his coat.

“Veda needs to be picked up,” he tells Varric as he shoves the remainder of his taco in his mouth.

“Got you covered,” Varric replies.

He mumbles a garbled, “thanks” then takes off down the street. Solas is just a block away from his car in the parking garage when she picks up.

“Hey papae!”

“Hello. I apologize. I just now saw your text. I will be late.”

“No worries. I can always watch the band practice until you get here.”

“I will be there soon.”

“Okie doke.”

He says he loves her and hangs up. Sprints the rest of the way down the street, half choking and wishing he’d at least drank some water but makes his way to his little car without incident. He hops inside. Starts it and zooms out of the garage. He’s speeding which has him checking his rear view mirror constantly. But of course, the city has a million stop lights and he hits every red one. He gets to her school later than he ever intended.

He parks, shoving his glasses all the way up his nose, and searches for Veda at the stadium. He spots her in the bleachers, chin resting in her hands and her copper braids coming undone in the breeze. He takes the stairs to meet her two at a time.

“I am so sorry to make you wait,” he says as he wraps her in his arms.

“Seriously, papae. It’s not a problem at all.”

“But what if it had rained? Or stormed like yesterday?”

“I would’ve just stayed inside. Besides, that didn’t happen.”

He sighs, berating himself a little internally. Then he walks with her back to the car. Slides in and clicks his seatbelt in place.

“What’s this?” Veda asks.

Solas glances over at her. She has Sarya’s camera in her hands. He hadn’t even noticed it there. He calmly says, “a camera.”

“Pssh, obviously. But I don’t remember you having a camera.”

“It’s a friend’s,” he says. “We went out for lunch and they must’ve left it.”

“Oh,” she says. “How was work today?” She’s still fiddling with the camera.

“It was work,” he says. Thankfully she easily dropped the subject. “Not much was accomplished.”

She gasps. “Your friend is so pretty. You’ve never mentioned her before. New coworker?”

“No. Just a new friend I met.”

“She looks familiar—and she’s a wonderful photographer. Maybe we should have her take some pictures of us. We haven’t updated our family photos since I was ten.”

“That’s a wonderful idea Veda. However, my friend is only visiting for a short while. I’m not sure there would be enough time to squeeze some family photos in.”

“Bummer. You look so happy around her.”

“I don’t always look happy?”

“You look a different kind of happy with her. It’s nice.”

He takes her words and holds them close to her chest. “Anything interesting happen at school today?”

“Yeah,” she says, then she unloads a multitude of stories. How one of her friends got their tooth knocked out by a basketball in gym. How she accidentally used Elvhen in her Tevene class and didn’t notice until the whole class was just staring at her.

“Did you feel embarrassed?” he asks as they pull into the garage.

“A little. But I mostly found it funny. The way the other kids looked so confused.”

“Does anyone treat you differently when you speak Elvhen?”

She shrugs. “There’s a couple of kids who say stupid things but I don’t hang around them.”

“Veda, I’m happy to speak with the administration if your having trouble with other students—“

“While I appreciate that, I can handle a couple of kids who are jerks.”

“Very well but if you ever—“

“I know.” She slings her backpack in her back then kisses his cheek. “Can I go to Varric’s house? I want to see the cats and hang out with Cole for a bit.”

“Yes, so long as you check with—“

“Already did.” She steps out of the car. “Going to drop my stuff off inside then I’ll see you later.”

“Text me when you want to leave. I’ll pick you up.”

“Okay. See you later, papae.”

Solas sighs. He’s glad she still talks to him and he still gets to see her but there’s also this tiny ache in his chest that misses her always being around the house. But he reminds himself that this is a good thing. It’s just new and he pulls out his phone to read his messages from Sarya.

Hey I’m going to try and stop by your work around 3:15 today.

I stopped by your work but you weren’t there. Saw Varric though! He introduced me to everyone and it was fun! I really like Sera. She’s hilarious! And Merrill was so sweet! Anyway, hopefully I’ll see you sometime soon. 😉

—

“I fold,” Sarya says, she takes a drag from her cigarillo. Then throws her cards face up on the table.

“Already?” Han asks. “What a shame.”

“Your mind must be elsewhere, Sarya. I’ve never known you to throw a game,” Vilanti says as she shows her cards.

Han takes the game and lets out a whoop as he gathers them all to shuffle.

“I still can’t believe Dallen just up and left us. Did he say anything to either of you? About his plans.”

Both of them shake their heads.

“It’s really odd.”

“I don’t know why you care. Easier to keep yourself from using him. Easier for him to be happy this way,” Han says.

“Ouch,” Vilanti grimaces, then gestures for all the cards to be handed over. She shuffles.

“I do agree with that actually. It’s just that most who move on from our happy little family tend to give us more of a notice. We didn’t get to give him a proper goodbye.”

“I don’t mean to sound callous here Sarya, but you were the only one who cared about the guy. Makes sense why he moved on.” Vilanti deals.

Sarya picks up her hand and stares straight through the cards. “That’s not true.”

“Basically,” Han argues. He draws a card.

“Sometimes you both are mean.”

“Not mean. Just honest,” Han says.

Vilanti draws. “On another note, I heard Makon made a new friend today.”

“What?” Sarya nearly drops her cards. “Our Makon? Makon—stoic, quiet, unsociable Makon?”

“Yep. Met her at the gas station. She was passing through on her way to Wycome and her motorcycle broke down. He fixed it up for her on the spot and they exchanged numbers I guess.”

“What the fuck?”

“Good for him,” Han says.

Sarya draws a card. “Yeah, seriously. I hope that works out.”

“Our next gig is in Wycome and he plans to see her then.”

“Was it love at first sight or something?” Sarya asks. She folds and picks her cigarillo back up. Her interest in cards declining by the second.

Vilanti shrugs and plays her cards, taking the game. “By the way he keeps talking about her, I’d say yes.”

“What’s her name,” Han asks, gathering all the cards into a pile.

“Athi. Athi Lavellan.”

“Another Lavellan huh?”

“Guess so. Maybe she’s related to you two,” Vilanti says.

“Doubt it. Or if she is, it’s very distant,” Han says.

In the distance they hear yelling and smashing bottles. They all exchange looks.

“Wonder who the hell set Deshanna off—“

“Let’s go see if we can smooth things over,” Han says with a sigh.

“You two can go. I’ll probably make things worse. I don’t think he likes me much.”

“That’s because you push his buttons. Definitely better for you to stay here,” Han tells her.

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Then she waves at them as they slip out the door and finishes off her cigarillo.

—

It’s dark and quiet and Sarya gazes longingly out the window at a small patch of stars. The only patch not hidden by the clouds. She sighs and startles at the sound of knocking. Straightening herself out, she rubs the redness from her elbows and opens the door.

“Solas,” she says it like she’s expecting him but she’s truly surprised. She steps out with him, shutting the door behind her.

“You forgot your camera,” he tells her, holding it out in his hands.

She takes it from him, hanging it around her neck. “Thank you. I should really start keeping better track of my things or you’re going to start thinking I’m trying to bait you or something.”

“I would bite every time,” he says, his hands clasped behind his back. There’s a certain sparkle in his eye and she can’t read him. But she knows she wants to kiss him. So without another thought, she stretches up on her toes and takes him by surprise. He is frigid and she panics, certain she has misstepped. After all, friends don’t kiss like that.

“I’m sorry,” she says, a little out of breath. “I don’t know what…”

Her words are caught on the edge of his lips as he captures her mouth again. His kiss is unreserved but not what she’d call passionate. Like the kiss of a long time lover. A kiss of promise. Of commitment. Her mind screams at her to let go while simultaneously wishing and longing for more. His leg is pressed into her inner thigh and despite the chill of the air, she’s certain she is on fire. Her nails are in his shoulder, the camera even hurts just a little as it presses into her chest, and she doesn’t mean to let out a moan but it’s too late for regrets as he pushes her against the side of her trailer. One hand above her and the other in her hair. With each breath she steals between kisses, she studies his face. Memorizes it and stores it for always. Freckles for days and the tiniest scar above his brow. The only sign of his age lies in the lines of crows feet near the edges of his eyes and she tells herself to ask if he has a skincare routine. He certainly seems the type.

She studies his closed eyelids, there’s two freckles on the right and a singular small one on the left and she notices that there’s even some red in his brows and wonders if they’d have red headed babies.

She gasps then. Pulls away. Why in the hell is she thinking of babies?

“Perhaps I should…”

“Kiss me again,” she says to him. She won’t let one ridiculous thought ruin the moment. She knows that she’s falling for him. Too fast, too soon but she’s holding on for another day.

When they break apart she doesn’t want him to go. But it’s too much to ask him to stay. So she waves goodbye then clicks her camera, saving the image of him walking away.

#dragon age #solavellan #modern au #solas x Sarya Lavellan #circus au #free falling #bear writes