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hardestgrove · 2 years

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Thinking about the Emily-Kali thematic relationship as well as the Emily-Kali-El and Emily-El relationships because I gotta Do Some Stuff in this upcoming section. typing it out here because it'll hopefully help my brain work thru it if I'm poising it as "a thing I must explain to others".

Emily and Kali are frankly very similar characters but they have some very key differences, I likened it to a doctor doom vs magneto situation which is probably one of the more accurate ways to talk about them. both come from very traumatic backgrounds with stolen childhoods and come into supernatural abilities as they get older. both then opt to use this new ability to get what they want, but this is when they veer apart.

For those unaware of Comic Lore™, Doom is Romani and his people where persecuted and attacked in his childhood, which is how he lost his father (he already lost his mother to a bad deal with Mephisto, it's comics don't worry about it). He sets out to learn magic and science to try and save his mother. Blah blah fantastic four shit Reed Richards is his supervillain origin story, I don't care a lot abut FF content. He goes back to Latveria, his home country, and stages a very successful coup against the nobility and becomes king himself. In his youth he had a vision that the only future in which humanity survives is a future in which Doom rules the world, hence his entire comic career of intense megalomania and world domination schemes.

(cutting this here because this is genuinely terrifyingly long and i'm so sorry. please don't read this love yourself it's basically me just thinking out loud about Character Stuff and Foils and things in my fanfic using marvel comics as a vehicle.)

Magneto on the other hand is a German born Jewish holocaust survivor. As a youth he was sent to Auschwitz and to escape being the subject of experimentation by the likes of Mengele and Mister Sinister (again... comics...) he becomes a Sonderkommando (the prisoners forced to clean out the bodies from the gas chambers etc). He was the only survivor from his family but was reunited with his childhood love Madga, a Romani girl, while in the camps. They escape together and try to build a life for themselves and have a daughter, Anya. After a display of his mutant powers a mob set their house/the Inn they were staying in (he's been around since the 60s, details get reworked a bit) on fire and Magneto is left helpless as watches his young daughter burn to death. Terrified of him and his powers Madga felt unaware she was pregnant with Wanda and Pietro. Over the years after many encounters and conflicts Magneto comes to his philosophy of Mutant Superiority. That aggressive actions must be taken against the homo sapien oppressor and a mutant nation state be created so that they might live without fear.

Doom looks at the world and says "when Doom is God, the horrors committed against me will never occur again for the only Will will be the will of Doom". Magneto looks at the world and says "when my enemies are dead and the Sanctuary is built the horrors committed against me will never occur again because those who would commit them are dead or declawed by our united might". On the surface they can end up seeming very similar but at the end of the day they're very different sentiments and come from different places. Doom wants control and power, Magneto wants justice/revenge and safety.

This same situation of similar on the surface but very different with more thought comes up with Kali and Emily. Which is why I just subjected you to bullshit about Marvel Comics.

Emily is the oldest child of an abusive household and was parentified very early on. Her parents are a delusional dangerously shallow socialite addict and a barely contained by the rules of society serial killer. She was groomed at a young age to value cruelty, aggression, control and a lack of empathy (basically to be as close to him in personality as possible) and used by her father as the warden of her siblings creating tension between them even as she struggles to protect them. At age 8 she was present for the 77 black out riots in NYC and watched the city descend into chaos for 25 hours. At 12 she experiences the psychic feedback of the Hawkins Lab massacre committed by Creel, experiencing it from the pov of the victims and Creel himself simultaneously. To survive this and her abusive upbringing her mind turned to compartmentalization and disassociation, along with heavily leaning into her naturally intense personality, "if I am constantly moving there is no time to stop and think and thus this cannot effect me". She also has turned to controlling behavior like her father's to gain a sense of safety. Unlike Eleven her memories of the massacre are not repressed but they are heavily compartmentalized to the point of abstraction most of the time and are the reason she avoided experimenting or acknowledging her powers until Will's disappearance.

Kali was stolen from what we can assume was likely a fairly normal loving home in London at the age of 5 because of her powers and was tortured and experimented on from 5 until about 12-15. They say in S4 she escaped before the massacre and she's said to be 20 in S2 so the oldest she could've been at time of escape is 15. Similarly to Eleven she eventually found a new family and people to love and be loved by but unlike Eleven she wasn't able to protect them or them her from the people sent to recapture her. Kali after these experiences comes to decide that running, hiding and trying to be normal would never work so long as she is what she is and these people are out there. So instead she decides to go on the offensive and get revenge instead. During this time she also meets and saves others who have been hurt and cast aside by society and builds a new more capable family for herself, all of whom she genuinely cares for and who all respect her and what she can do but don't treat her like a freak or different. She is fueled by a frankly, righteous rage and immense grief at what has been done to her and what she lost because of it.

When you look at their actions and appearances they can come off as similar. They're both frankly not great people who can be ruthless, cruel and manipulative but are also are full of genuine love, care and empathy for the people they care for. They're both jaded goths with psychic powers that are more geared to the telepathy end than the telekinesis end. They both have connections to the Hawkins Lab and Eleven. They both take on older sibling/mentor roles to Eleven.

But Emily like Doom works from a place of needing control and power. She is willing to violate the autonomy of others to maintain or gain control so that she feels secure. If everything is under her command then she can Stop All Bad Things From Happening. She can never be psychically Clockwork Orange'd again. She never has to be under the thumb of monsters again. "When Doom is God, the horrors committed against me will never occur again for the only Will will be the will of Doom".

Kali meanwhile is like Magneto. She does this for justice, to avenge herself and her loved ones/"siblings" and the horrors they went through. She also does it to have a purpose, to cope with what happened and find a reason to keep moving forward. There's always the question of "what happens when they're all dead?" but that's not something she can think about. She's willing to go to incredible lengths for her goals but generally prefers to leave civilians out of it. She wants Eleven with her because they're Family and she genuinely cares for her but also because they're more powerful together and can get justice more effectively as a team. "when my enemies are dead and the Sanctuary is built the horrors committed against me will never occur again because those who would commit them are dead or declawed by our united might".

Similar on the surface but Objectively Different when you dig in deeper. And that's where the tension comes from. They can both completely understand where the other is coming from and sympathize with each other quite a lot but after a lifetime of being controlled Kali sees Emily's controlling nature and need for dominance as a threat and cannot trust her. While Emily sees Kali as a threat because she refuses to do anything that isn't on her terms or tolerate anything that infringes on her autonomy. She cannot be controlled so she cannot be trusted.

Then you throw in Eleven, who for the sake of simplicity I'm going to say is solely paralleling Professor Xavier, though an argument can also be made for Jean Grey or a mix of the two. Again, some Comic Lore™ to help set the stage here.

Xavier's father was a scientist who died, his mother remarried one of his coworkers, Kurt Marko, who was only after their money. Him and his son, Cain, were abusive to Xavier and his step-father was also abusive to his mother. While he attempted help her by sharing her pain with his telepathy his mother ending up drinking herself to death. The only good thing Marko ever did was save the boys from a fire though he died in the process. Xavier goes on to graduate college at 16 and goes on an graduate degree binge until he's drafted into the Korean war, during which he uses his telepathy to find missing and injured soldiers. Takes a year long vacation after the war to figure himself out, first meets Amahl Farouk/The Shadow King the very first truly evil mutant Xavier ever met and helps him realize how dangerous they can be. He kills Farouk in a psychic battle and then meets Magneto while volunteering at a hospital in Israel Magneto is also working at, this relationship and subsequent falling out is also critical in the forming of his philosophy. After the accident that paralyzes him Xavier returns to America and forms the X-Men, a mutant paramilitary group of at the time child soldiers who's purpose is to defend mankind from evil mutants and try to get people to see that mutants are not the enemy.

If we boil down his thinking like we did the other two we get "people are capable of horrible things but also incredible things and I will try to facilitate the good while defending against the bad." Which is a bit more nuanced than it usually gets boiled down to, because if he was truly backing peaceful alternatives to Magneto and peaceful co-existence the X-Men would not exist or be a paramilitary group. While Xavier is always ready to hold out a hand first, he is not afraid to make it a fist.

We can see how there's some connections here between Eleven and Xavier, especially in things like being essentially turned into a bloodhound by the government and first traumatic encounter with the first person who is truly Like Them which results in their first taking of a life with their powers. As well as their more balanced view on the world. Eleven and Xavier, despite both having plenty of good reasons to, don't have any interest in control or revenge, though they're also not going to necessarily say "no thanks" to them either. Eleven wants to, chooses to, and believes in the goodness of others while also remembering that danger is everywhere and some people are Bad People and when confronted with Bad People doesn't react with pacifism."People are capable of horrible things but also incredible things and I will try to facilitate the good while defending against the bad."

The thing is when you also bring in Eleven I also have to shift the comparison point in Marvel Comics for Emily from Doctor Doom to being primarily Emma Frost. Doctor Doom is fairly accurate in general and in the context of comparing Emily and Kali he doesn't work when comparing Eleven, Kali and Emily or Eleven, Kali, Emily and Creel. Doom is not a mutant, Magneto and Xavier are and if they were all in Marvel Comics Eleven, Kali, Emily and Creel would all me mutants also. Philosophy, morals, ethics etc are all part of the mutant debate and all the leaders of the community argue and discuss their opposing philosophies constantly. Once you bring in more of the ST psychics it makes more sense to shift all the characters used in comparisons to ones from the same franchise.

While in the past I've likened Emily to Amahl Farouk/The Shadow King it's more vibes/abilities wise and the characterization of Farouk in Legion (FX). If anyone here would actually be compared to the Shadow King it's Creel.

So once again-- god I'm so sorry about this-- I'm going to explain some Comic Lore™.

Emma is one of 4 children from a wealthy New England family but was seen as a failure by her father for her poor grades and was shunted to the side until her powers manifested and she used them to do well in school. Around this time Xavier tried to recruit her but Emma and her father both refused. Emma had an affair with her teacher Mr. Kendall who ironically inspired her to be good teacher who doesn't have affairs with their teenaged students. Shortly after her affair was discovered her older brother, Christian's homosexuality was revealed. Christian who was fairly estranged after turning to drugs and alcohol to cope with their father's abuse attempted suicide and was sent to a mental institution. He was passed over automatically as heir and their father chose Emma, she refused and went off to make her own way in life. Eventually Emma Frost rose through the ranks of the Hellfire Club (yes we have one here too), an Illuminati-esque organization of freaky rich people who love meddling in everything. Emma took on the role the White Queen as a leader of the group. In this new position of power Emma completed her dream and built the Massachusetts Academy a rival school to Xavier's. However tragically, all her students were massacred by Trevor Fitzroy while she was in a coma and the loss changed her profoundly. She began working with the X-Men after it.

Emma is known for her cunning and ruthlessness as well as her skill. She's intelligent, charismatic, manipulative, secretive and a part of like 8 secret super cabals. She's also strong willed, caring, compassionate and deeply dedicated to the nurturing and protection of those in her care. She'll do unspeakable shit to you but she would never hurt a child. Emma encapsulates herself in an iconic line of hers-- "That's how I survived. Time and time again. That's my secret. I survived because I willed it to be. How did I survive apocalyptic fire? I simply refused to feel the flames."

We can see here how in this expanded context Emma is a better comparison to use than Doom for Emily. Like Doom, Emma deals very much in the world of power and control but Emma's background is already much closer to Emily's giving us a more close parallel. They're both coming from abusive wealthy families they both have psychic abilities and rocky beginnings with them (Emma sent her whole school unconscious during a mental breakdown once). Both are willing to kill and torture to get what they want. Emily and Emma have made it this far in life by simply refusing to be beaten down, by harnessing their own intensity to keep getting up over and over relentlessly. Emily at main times later in the series comes out on top against the likes of the Mind Flayer and Creel cause it's a mind fight and she Simply Refuses To Lose. Full Stop. "That's how I survived. Time and time again. That's my secret. I survived because I willed it to be. How did I survive apocalyptic fire? I simply refused to feel the flames."

If what Magneto/Kali wants is justice/revenge and safety, Xavier/Eleven wants community and safety and Emma/Emily wants power, control and community. We can already see overlaps and a spectrum forming.

Emma, Xavier and Magneto very frequently butt heads about what should and shouldn't be done. Xavier historically weaponizes children, Emma teaches children to fight because she knows the writing is on the wall and she wants them to have a shot, Magneto teaches children to fight so they can join him in building the better world and to protect their brethren. Emma and Xavier have similar backgrounds but she has little to no real respect for him while he and Magneto have a deep respect and understanding. They all have the same goal but different methods and ideologies and hidden agendas.

Emma and Magneto consistently poke holes in Xavier's philosophy and throw his own deeply unethical actions back in his face but he remains true to his goal of trying to gain equality as peacefully as realistically possible. While Xavier points out the flaws in their darker, more bloodthirsty natures and condemns their willingness to jump right to murder as a solution.

Emily and Kali are both older than Eleven and have spent less of their lives in the Lab than Eleven has. Their world views are both more well rounded than Eleven's given they have more exposure to it and more jaded as they've had more time to be worn down by it. They both want Eleven on their side and take issue with fundamental pieces of the other. Both are manipulative and do not like to be manipulated. Both however feel INTENSE affection and protectiveness over Eleven which can also be a point of contention when they do not agree on what is best for her. Neither think that Eleven should be left with the other.

The relationship between Eleven and Emily is much better than Xavier and Emma there's still some fundamental inability to understand each other. They simply have completely different world views. Because of who she is and what she's been through Emily works to deny her own controlling impulses for Eleven's benefit. She physically puts herself between Eleven and danger where she can. There are ways were, like Magneto and Xavier, Kali and Eleven will always be closer and understand each other in ways that Emily can never understand or be apart of. But what Emily has and Kali lacks at the time we meet her is a firm understanding of the role of the older sibling, especially in an abusive/dangerous household. Emily agrees 100% with Kali's quest to kill all the Lab workers for revenge. She would not willingly take Eleven with her to commit one of those murders, the only reason she allows it in the story is because she's dissociating at the time.

Emily, as an older sibling and protector to a girl Eleven's age already understands how Not Okay and damaging this is. Understands that while Eleven is capable it doesn't mean she should and that it's her place as the older person to tackle these things for her. Kali/Magneto would put a gun in Eleven/A Young Xavier's hand because they wish they had one at that age. Emma/Emily tells Eleven/A Young Xavier to go and work on their judo with another student, takes the gun and pistol whips the man to death themselves because if you want something done right you do it yourself and children shouldn't have guns anyway.

#train.txt #bp content #holocaust mention cw #suicide mention cw #OH MY GOD THIS IS MAMMOTH IT JUST GOT BETTER AND BETTER AND TOOK LITERALLY HOURS #no one is gonna read this aND HONESTLY I WOULDN'T RECCOMEND IT #i think it's interesting personally but dskgjhfsdk it's just me talking about marvel comics and dynamics with my oc and el n kali #seriously i started this at like 1-130 i think and it's 4 now KILL ME

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pathetic-dumpling · 2 years

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heyya! I'm reading through your posts and I'm growing more and more confused about c!dream (like trying to put a puzzle together without knowing what it looks like at the end). Basically, I get that he built the prison for himself and had c!punz throw him in, but why would he do that? /gen

well!! to be honest, we don't know for sure bc c!dream is a bitch and rarely states his true intentions (or "reserved" as cc!dream likes to put it). it's all pretty theoretical at this point.

/rp

but!! we do know the end goal of dream's plan. his motives. he wants the server to be back to like what it was before (pointedly before tommy/wilbur/l'manburg arrived), without factions, war, etc. his way of getting there seems to be, so far, making himself public enemy #1 so the server will come together (as a community, as a "big happy family") and take him down. he's the self-sacrificing type, even if it doesn't seem like it, because all the distancing he's done and the actions he's taken leave him out of the family he's hoping to make.

he probably thought people were going to want him dead at the climax of the disc finally, hence the prison (think back to all of dream's comments on "It’s just an option because if you can’t kill somebody, you might need to lock them up.” (thank you @call-me-apple's lore doc which may help you do some digging of your own)). he wants to see his plan though, so he's not going to let himself die, but people also need to feel like they won, y'know?

as for punz. it wasn't specifically punz that put dream in the prison, but punz did lead the server to dream and has a pretty public "betrayal" so i get what you're saying. that! was to protect punz ("you should, but you should act like you’re not on my side. because if you’re on my side then you’ll be in danger..."). dream cares very deeply about his allies and he protects them. you can see that with punz, techno, etc. he feels solely responsible for the server so he's not gonna be sacrificing his only allies left and right, y'know? he thinks a LOT about what they're doing and how he's going to use them. he's very mindful with his friends, even to an unhealthy level.

so.... long story short, nobody knows what's really going on besides dream, punz, ew!ranboo, and maybe techno. all we know is its a part of The Plan(tm) as remarked by punz after meeting up with dream. it might've been to keep him from being killed so he could see out the end of his plan, preparation time (such as other theories suggest), or whatever the hell dream has cooked up in his incredibly unstable tunnel vision. it wasn't supposed to go the way it did but uh. it was Supposed To Happen, so that's something i guess.

uh anyone is free to add to this post we need to hold hands like little kids in this dark abyss

#my asks!#my posts!#theories!#abyssal-starlight #dream #dreblr #dsmp theory #dsmp analysis #c!dream analysis #c!dream #this doesnt really answer ur question but i hope it helped!!!!#we're all kinda in the dark on what dream is thinking about at any given moment tbh #it was nice to see ya in my notes :DDD #if u keep looking to find some answers i wish u good luck!!!

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honalele · 3 years

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dsmp wilbur, techno, and dream

c!dream’s fear is being dead. he will sit in prison for months, he will go through mass amounts of torture for months, he will never tell anyone else how the revival book works. he will do all of this to avoid dying.

c!dream’s want is for the server to be “one big happy family” and he has decided that c!tommy is a threat to that goal, hence the obsession and abuse he puts on him.

c!dream is obviously not mentally stable at all. he has warped views of reality, control, and self which makes him very paranoid. he doesn’t believe that he’s a bad guy, and i don’t think he ever will.

c!wilbur’s fear is losing c!tommy, both in the sense of watching c!tommy die, and losing his friendship with him. c!wilbur believes that becoming friends with c!dream will keep c!tommy alive. c!wilbur will also continue to guilt trip c!tommy in order to maintain their friendship.

c!wilbur wants to have separation. he wants people to be able to fight for their own values. he wants a winner to come out on top. and from what we’ve seen in the past, he desperately wants to be on the winning side, otherwise what’s the point of living?

c!wilbur is also not mentally stable. despite wanting to win, all of his motivation comes from feeling inferior. he loves being the underdog, and this will always lead him to self sabotage.

c!techno’s fear is becoming useless. he doesn’t like what government does to people and he values anarchy. but he finds it difficult to trust people and build healthy relationships. he enjoys feeling needed by others, which aligns his fears with his wants.

c!techno wants to be needed. it’s why the voices ask for blood. it’s why he seeks out violence. it’s why he will avoid peace at every turn. he will always be preparing for the next war. he will never let his guard down.

c!techno is much more mentally healthy compared to c!dream and c!wilbur, however he still has his own issues. the voices must cause him constant stress and the fear of becoming worthless to someone hinders his relationships and makes him weary to trust people. however, c!phil has become a good friend of c!techno’s, so he has some really nice support there.

i just wanted to do a quick little analysis on these characters’ fears, wants, and mental states because they’re the hardest characters for me to read. i can also see these three teaming up in the near future so i wanted to lay out the basics of their characters to see if there would be any interesting conflicts. but, despite any conflict, i think that these characters are drawn to one another.

c!wilbur is drawn to c!dream because he knows that he can revive c!tommy if needed and based on my analysis, he sees c!dream like himself, as an underdog.

c!dream revived c!wilbur, not because he really cared for him, but because it was a way for c!dream to control c!tommy without having to actually be there. a relationship with c!wilbur means he can get close to c!tommy.

c!dream and c!techno have “the favor” and they are both willing to do whatever needs to be done in order to get their end of the deal, ie. c!techno perpetuates violence and c!dream avoids death (at least i think that’s where they’re going with this).

c!techno values c!wilbur’s charisma and spite to rally people together in order to “fight for a cause” and c!wilbur will use c!techno’s willingness to “fight the man” whenever necessary, making their relationship a byproduct of war.

now where have these three characters been since doomsday? well, c!wilbur has been dead, c!dream has been in prison, and c!techno has been living in the isolated snow commune. the absence of these characters from the server has allowed the rise of kinoko kingdom, las nevadas, and snowchester. (not mentioning the eggpire because it is no longer valid since the red banquet) their absence has also given some characters time to grow and change, while others remain sort of paused. i don’t think it’s a coincidence that c!dream revived c!wilbur, or that c!techno got stuck in the prison with him, or that both c!wilbur and c!techno have developed a sort of mentorship with c!ranboo. though they’ve been apart, their stories are coming together and i think there’s a big possibility that they will not only cross paths soon, but become a team.

the only question now is what were those blueprints for?

#dreamsmp #dream smp #dreamsmp theory #dreamsmp character analysis #dreamsmp analysis #dreamwastaken #wilbur #wilbur soot #techno dsmp #techno #technoblade #dsmp #dsmp lore #tommyinnit #dsmp dream #dsmp discussion

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rubysunnday · 2 years

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Please share your thoughts on the peaky finale bc I’m being ganged up on for saying I’ve seen better episodes and I’m praying I’m not alone 😅 i think it had good moments but wasn’t a good episode

i honestly thought it was a really shit way to end the show

there was no mention of literally any. other. character - it’s the cillian murphy show. and i get tommy is the main character and that but like there are other characters too who deserve their own storylines and time on screen

SPOILERS

tommy killing michael was just a what the actual fuck moment - there was no need AND michael spends most of the season in prison only to then re appear for like five minutes

not killing tommy off was the biggest cop out i have ever seen - it’s like just going it was all a dream. it’s so obvious peaky blinders is nothing without cillian hence why they didn’t kill him off

he should’ve died - it would’ve been impactful and dramatic and everything we needed.

the whole nazi dude storyline was just… not needed like at all - it served nothing and didn’t forward the plot at all.

ada being pregnant and falling love with a black man was just forgotten - didn’t even remember until this random baby appeared last week or whenever it was

arthur, ada and finn were all just forgotten about in favour of ridiculously confusing plots. esme was brought back and whilst i was thrilled to see her again what was the point

what was the point in killing ruby off

what they should’ve done is kept to one plot line - ie michael’s vendetta and have the entire family fight him or something instead of looking him in a cell for four episodes and killing him at the end of six

i think they forgot what the show was originally about - a family gang, in poverty, fresh from the war trying to survive. if they’d kept the family element in and not made them all rich it would’ve been a completely different story.

overall i thought it was a really crappy way to end the show - a show that has been so successful and loved - and that they should’ve killed tommy off

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dumdumsun · 3 years

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Forever and Never

A/N: A long one because it was a fun one. My absolute favorite chapter!

Warnings: mentions of marijuana, rape, blood and violence

Word Count: 6135

—————————————

Six: The Breakfast Club

“What are you thinking about?”

“H-Huh? What do you mean?”

“You’re smiling for the first time today. What are you thinking about?”

“...Stan.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Apparently, I had slept through all of my alarms because when I awoke the next day, it was almost nine. Cursing aloud, I sprang out of bed and zoomed to my closet, ripping out any clothes I could find. Not having time to pull together something totally retro as per usual, I threw on a maroon hoodie, wedged into blue skinny jeans, and slipped on my white sneakers. I applied deodorant and stuck a piece of gum into my mouth before slinging my backpack on. The school was a fifteen-minute walk from my house. I was going to be so fucking late. I was skipping every other step on my way downstairs when I heard a voice call out to me.

“Whoa, you’re still here?”

On my right was Jacob, sitting in the living room and watching television. He stood from the couch and slowly approached me with a smirk. “What are you doing here still?”

“What are you doing here still?”

“I don’t have classes today, Bug,” He lightly teased before gently pushing me towards the door. “Let’s go before you miss anymore school. Hopefully, you don’t get detention.”

“I won’t, Jake.”

I did. As soon as I opened the door to my English class, all eyes were on me like a newcoming circus act. Ms Anderson’s eyes cut to me the second I stepped in and before I knew it, she was stomping towards me, gently ushering me out of the room with her. When we were alone, she crossed her arms and stared down at me. I felt like a child getting scolded for breaking an expensive vase or something. “(Y/N), this is your fourth tardy this month.”

“I know…”

“Is there something we need to talk about?”

There are so many things I need to talk about.

“No… I just… um… I-It’s been a rough few days…”

“Well, I would let this slide, but I’ve already broken the rules twice for you. I’m sorry, dear, but I’m going to have to give you detention. Okay?”

Dammit, Jake… “Okay, fine. Can I just go back to class now?” I sighed. My teacher nodded and opened the door for me. Stepping inside, I was met with the smiles of Dina, Stan and Ricky all directed towards me. I returned the smiles towards my two friends before taking my seat beside Dina. Throughout class, two eyes bore into the back of my head, and I tried my best not to turn and look at who they belonged to. He was catching on. On my way to choir, I heard Ricky calling out to me. He was pushing and shoving past students until he was by my side.

“Babe, what’s been going on with you?” He gently nudged me, but my eyes stayed trained forward. “Oh, so the silent treatment… Are you gonna tell me what I did or am I gonna have to figure it out?” Silence. “Right, okay. I get it. Hey, listen, when you’re out of your bitchy mood, make sure to come talk to me.” And with that, he turned and walked in the opposite direction. Letting out a breath, I slowed my pace along with the beat of my heart. I never wanted anyone to dictate the way I felt, the way my anxiety sky-rocketed when they were around. But it seemed I was letting Ricky do everything to me.

When lunchtime rolled around, I wanted nothing more than to eat my first meal of the day. All throughout English and choir, my stomach had been curling into itself and I felt stupid for not at least grabbing a granola bar before I left home. After grabbing my food, I joined Stan at a near-vacant lunch table. He had been mindlessly picking at his lunch when I sat across from him. “Good afternoon, beautiful.” I whispered. Hearing my voice, he didn’t need to look up.

“Hey, (Y/N)...”

“(Y/N)? Whoa, what’s wrong?”

“Uh, it’s just Syd. She won’t talk to me…”

A pang of jealousy went through my heart. Knowing we’d never talk about our kiss the other night didn’t prevent my wave of disappointment whenever he mentioned Sydney. I mean, how do you even kiss a girl and then talk about a totally different one days later? As much as I love Stan, he could be an idiot sometimes…

I hadn’t even noticed I was spacing out until his voice spoke loud enough for me to snap back into reality. He had been staring at me with raised brows, an expectant look on his face. “O-Oh, sorry… Uh, do you wanna hang out later? Like, when we get home?” I calmly asked, my eyes flickering to the fading bruise decorating his eye. He shifted in his seat and returned back to his lunch.

“Um… I’ll see.” He mumbled, my throat constricting at his words.

-------------------------------------------------

Whitaker watched me like a hawk as I turned into the girls’ restroom.

“Don’t think I don’t know that trick, (Y/L/N)! You better get to the gymnasium as soon as you’re done!”

“Yes, sir.” I mumbled and closed the door behind me. To be honest, I didn’t think he knew that trick and was absolutely planning on spending the entirety of my detention in the restroom. Letting out a sigh, I leaned against the wall and texted Jacob.

Me: I got detention. Pick me up at 7 please?

Jake: Haha! I’ll be there, don’t worry

Jake: And don’t try hiding out in the bathrooms. Whitaker knows that trick

Me: Noted

Pocketing my phone, I pushed the door open and trudged to the gym. Even with the doors closed, I could hear Whitaker screaming at whoever else was inside. With a small groan, I lazily used my body to open one of the doors, the principal’s voice quieting as the screech of the hinges echoed throughout the room.

“Ms (Y/L/N), I would have thought that after getting detention for tardiness, you’d learn to be more punctual. Take a seat!” Whitaker boomed. Rolling my eyes, I moved over to the bleachers, surprised to see Sydney, Stan, Brad, Dina and… Jenny Tuffield.

I could be irritated with people all I wanted, but I never completely ignored or even spat insults or such at them, unless they truly did something to hurt me or the ones I care about. Hence the reason I ignore Ricky. But Jenny brought out a side of me I really despised. It was a side of myself that thought of the worst things to say and spewed them out without hesitation, resulting in a back-and-forth war between the two of us. It usually ended with death threats and flipping the birds to each other, but we’ve never physically fought. That could change one day, who knows? I could feel her sickening smirk as I passed her to sit in front of Stan, who looked bewildered to see that I was here with him in detention. I patted his knee before turning back to Whitaker, who had been waiting for me to do as I was told. Satisfied, he continued on.

“Now that you all are here,” He cut me a look. “I want you to take the next few hours and think about your mistakes. And carve out in your mind a plan for change. Determine how to improve yourselves. Define what the word ‘respect’ means to you.”

Get a job, dude…

“Now you can start by respecting this beautiful gymnasium. Between now and seven p.m., you’re gonna scrape up every goddamn piece of gum from the bleachers,” He stepped forward and slammed a box down in front of us, no doubt full of the tools needed for our manual labor. The six of us all rolled our eyes as Whitaker stepped back again. “Get started.”

“Uh, Mr Whitaker, sir,” I heard Stan from behind me. “Um… Will there be a break for snacks or dinner?”

Silence was his answer. Whitaker stared at Stan as if he’d just asked him to lick his shoes before exiting the gym. From behind me, I felt him lean forward towards Sydney, picking up on their very quiet and very short exchange.

“Hey, I’m really sorry-”

“No. I’m not talking to you, okay?”

Reaching over, I tugged on Stan’s jacket sleeve, the boy shuffling so that our faces were right beside each other. “What are you doing in here?”

“I called File a motherfucker.”

“You- What?”

“Okay,” Dina’s voice interrupted us, causing everyone to turn to her as she stood from her spot beside Brad. “I know none of us wanna be here right now, but I was thinking, if we divide and conquer the bleachers, maybe we could be done before seven and Whitaker will let us out early, so…” Her suggestion earned a smile from her boyfriend and a sarcastic remark from Jenny, who I nearly forgot even existed. She clapped her hands, everyone turning to her.

“Go team!” She mimicked your everyday cheerleader as Dina sat back down, a look of irritation on her face.

“I’m not a cheerleader.”

“Maybe you should be.”

“Maybe you should be in prison.”

“Ooh. That’s my wet dream…” She drawled out, running her tongue over her top teeth. I rolled my eyes and turned my head away.

“I don’t know, guys,” Stan spoke up. “This gum has been here for decades. I don’t think Whitaker actually checks. It’s just a social experiment, like a simulation.”

“Oh. Well, someone’s been smoking their supply.” Brad quipped. I narrowed my eyes and was about to give a sly remark when Jenny interrupted.

“You know what?” She whipped her body around to face us all, that wicked smile stretched across her face. “I have an idea. Why don’t we play Fuck, Marry, Kill?”

I couldn’t help myself. “What are you, thirteen?” I snarled. Our fellow delinquents stared between us with unease. “You say it like we’re about to huff some fucking gasoline. Are you supposed to be some kind of badass?”

Her eyes slid over to me, her grin widening. “Awe, Zip, I haven’t spoken to you in so long, I thought you died…”

“I wish you died…”

“So, who goes first?” Her head snapped towards everyone else, her finger moving towards each person in the room. “Eenie… meenie… miney… Brad.” She whispered out. Brad looked towards his girlfriend.

“Guess if I had to-”

“No. Not another word.” Dina shook her head.

“Oh, what about you, Miss Goody-Goody? Or are you too afraid to play?” Jenny gave a fake pout.

“Why would I be afraid?”

“Cool then. Fuck, Marry, Kill. Stanley Barber… Mr Whitaker… and… Syd.”

“Well, clearly, I’m killing Whitaker.”

“So are you gonna fuck Syd or marry her?”

Dina exhaled through her nose before looking to her right, eyes locking with Sydney. “Total life goal to marry your best friend, if Syd’ll have me.” She softly spoke, bringing a small smile to my face at their soft exchange. Of course, though, Jenny had to ruin it.

“Oh, so then it’s you and Stan in an all-day bone sesh. Ugh, you little slut.”

So over the sound of her fucking voice, I threw my head back in annoyance. “Jesus Christ, Jenny, you are so fucking boring!”

“No need to tell him about it,” She laughed tauntingly. “I’m guessing you wanna go next, since you got my attention. Or are you saving all of the sex and marriage for your little boyfriend?”

“Oh, bite me.”

“Ooh, where?”

Snapping, I slapped my hand down on the space beside me, my gaze set and locked on her. “No one gives a shit about you, Jenny!”

“And people care about you, Zip?! Where’s your fucking dad?!”

Fire in my eyes, I lunged towards her, but felt hands grabbing onto my shoulders and sitting me back down. The hands soothingly rubbed my arms as Jenny cackled. “Come on, (Y/N), it’s just all fun here… Now, for you, your very own Ricky Berry… Stan… and Dina.”

Scratching my cheek, I rolled my eyes so far back, I could feel them do a three-sixty rotation. “Fucking hell, you never give up. Fine, I’d marry Dina, fuck Stan, kill Ricky.”

Jenny lowly whistled as the hands on my arms slowly slid away. “But Zip, I thought you two were in love,” Her grin was something of evil as her brows bounced. “You guys had so much fun, fucking at his party. Oh! Or is it because you were drunk off your ass and he wasn’t?”

“Jenny, shut the fuck up-”

“No consent whatsoever… Boyfriend of the year…”

Having Jenny see me break down in front of everyone was not a moment in time I’d ever want to experience. She already got what she wanted, a reaction from me. She didn’t need a bonus. So, standing to my feet, I darted to the locker room, trying my best to block out Jenny’s laughing. I couldn’t help the tears that cascaded down my cheeks as I stood in front of one of the mirrors, hastily wiping them away.

Why are you letting her get to you? Why are you letting Ricky get to you? He can’t hurt you anymore, stop crying about it!

The creaking of the door sent my body into a stiffened, frozen state. That was, until I heard his voice, “Hey, lovely…” Turning my head to Stan, I sighed out.

“Hey, beautiful…” I sniffled as he made his way over to me. We stood in a comfortable silence, Stan understanding that I needed a moment to compose myself. “S-Sorry about that. You know I just fucking hate her guts-”

“No, I get it. We all hate her guts.” He cracked a smile. I quietly chuckled and stuffed my hands into my hoodie pockets. “Do you wanna talk about it, (Y/N)?”

“Not really… I don’t wanna think about it right now…”

“I know, but, like, it’s good to talk to someone about… you know, traumatic things that happen so it doesn’t bottle up-”

“Yeah, I know, Stan, I just can’t- I can’t think about it right now. We can do it, like, later… Not at school.”

He slowly nodded. “Totally. I understand. So… you ready to head back out? We’re not actually scraping gum. So we can just sit and talk.”

“I’d love to just sit and talk with you.”

Ten minutes later, everyone was spread out, Syd more than anyone. I had no idea where she’d gone, but apparently she stormed out shortly after I did. I guess Jenny knew how to get under everyone’s skin that day. Said girl was sitting against a brick wall away from the bleachers, where the other two pairs of us were. Brad and Dina were hugged up on each other, whispering into each other’s ears and quietly laughing. Stan and I were on the edge of the bleachers, the boy stretched across the one on the first level, and I on the second. As he fiddled with his rubix cube, my index finger reached out and gently traced his facial features. I started off with his brow, careful of his wound on the edge. It was clearing up and that caused a smile to appear on my face. Next, I let my fingertip brush across his lashes and he furrowed his brows, trying to focus on his cube. My finger then glided down the bridge of his nose. I quietly laughed when his eyes comically crossed to look at my finger. With a giggle, Stan jutted his chin upwards to gently kiss my fingertip. “Stop distracting me.”

My hand lazily dropped to his hair as I whispered out an apology. Not too long afterwards, I heard a voice quietly call out Stan’s name, but he was too fixated on his toy. My eyes looked to Sydney, who was standing in the doorway, desperately trying to get the boy’s attention. When she called out to him again, he actually looked at her. Looking between the two of us, she frantically motioned for Stan to come outside. When he only raised a brow, she did it again. Letting out a sigh, he wordlessly handed me his cube before sitting up and following Syd out of the gym, closing the door behind him to allow them privacy. Puffing out a sigh, I began playing with the multicolored cube in my hands. I never was very good with rubix cubes, my patience always ran too thin to finish them. That time didn’t seem to be an exception, either, because minutes in, I set it down and rested my head down to hopefully sleep off the rest of detention.

As I began to doze off, I heard the double doors screech upon Sydney’s arrival. She anxiously walked past me over towards the other side of the gym, where Dina and Brad had moved to suck face. I heard her call out to her friend a few times before she loudly spoke, “Look, Dina, I need a tampon right now.”

“Just dig in my bag.”

“I… I do need you, but for… but for something else.” She stuttered out. And with that, the two exited the gym. Suspicious about what my friends were plotting without me, I slowly sat up from my lying position and sat normally on the bleacher, waiting for one of them to come back. Hearing footsteps approach me, I knew it either had to be Brad or Jenny, and I was praying to the stars it was the former. As unusual as it sounded. The bleacher moaned under Brad’s weight as he sat beside me.

“Hey, Zip,” He greeted with a smile. I side-eyed him for a second before turning my gaze to my shoes. Scoffing, he shifted his legs. “You’re ignoring me now? Oh, come on. We’re friends, Zip. Good friends.”

“We are not friends, Bradley,” I almost laughed. “You’re friends with Ricky and I want nothing to do with him, so… I guess you know where the two of us stand.”

“Okay, well… Regardless, as Ricky’s best friend, I can say for him that what he did was fucked up. Right?”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“Right! But listen, we all make mistakes, Zip. Ricky really loves you, you know that, right? He would never do anything to hurt you.”

I was silent for a bit, only to prevent myself from decking Brad in the nose. “Well, he clearly didn’t love me enough. Not enough to respect my right to consent-”

“Zip-”

“And you know what, Brad?” I slowly stood to my feet. “I’ve had enough of you defending everything he does! You can tell Ricky to get lost and leave me the hell alone!”

Before he could utter another word, I marched straight through the double doors. Three figures stood ahead, and I was more than ready to push past them, but I recognized each of them. Halting in my tracks, I saw Dina, Syd and Stan all nervously staring at me. Confused, I put my weight on both my feet. “Uh… what’s going on?”

Dina was the first to answer. “We… need your help distracting the janitor to get his keys.”

“W-What? Why?”

“Well, Stan and Syd hooked up in the library and got it on camera-”

“You guys hooked up again?” I turned to my best friend, who quickly turned to Sydney. She frowned and stood up straighter.

“You told her?”

“S-She’s my best friend! She tells me when she has sex!”

Widening my eyes, I let out a scoff. “I had sex, I don’t have sex.”

“Well, whatever, can you do it?” Sydney changed the subject. I looked between the three in confusion.

“Okay, but why me?”

“Because you have boobs. Like, a nice size.”

“Uh-”

“And,” Dina cut in. “Because you’re a great actress. The best out of all of us.”

My lips quirked up into a small smile, Dina satisfied that she boosted my confidence enough for me to accept. Lucky for them, my locker was just across from the gym, so I unlocked it and pulled out a spare tee. ‘Can’t seduce anyone wearing that’, Dina told me.

Shortly after, Stan and I were in a corner as I changed my top. He was nervously staring down at his shoes as I pulled my hoodie off. “I didn’t want you to be the distraction. Are you sure you’ll be okay doing this?”

“I’m not seducing him, Stan,” I chucked my hoodie towards him. He looked up to catch it, but as soon as his eyes raked over my almost bare chest, they darted downwards again. “That’s just a back-up plan.”

“O-Oh, okay…” He nodded as I pulled my shirt on.

Minutes later, I entered the classroom Carl the Janitor had been cleaning. He looked up at me and nodded. “Hey, (Y/N).”

“Hi, Carl. Listen. So, I kinda snuck out of rehearsal earlier and I need to get back into the auditorium. But guess what? The door’s locked. I really don’t want Ms Turner to find me out. Do you think you could help me? Please?” I tapped my fingertips together as he sighed.

“You know I can get in trouble doing that…”

“I-I know, but it would mean so much to me. I promise I won’t get you caught.”

“Well, what about the back entrance? She never locks those doors.”

He was right. Clearing my throat, I looked to the side. “W-Well, she did today…”

His eyes narrowed in suspicion for what felt like forever before relenting, handing his ring of keys over. “Okay, just get them back to me in twenty minutes.”

“You’re the best, thank you.” I grinned and stepped out of the room. Swinging around the corner, I found Dina and Syd waiting for me. Upon my arrival, they both grinned. “Nothing wrong with asking politely, ladies. We got less than twenty.” I cheekily smiled, handing the keys over to Sydney. Dina chuckled and crossed her arms as I took my hoodie from Syd and pulled it back on.

“So, what’s the plan?”

“The plan is quite simple.” Stan’s voice appeared as he approached us, two microwavable burritos in his hands.

-------------------------------------------------

“First, we distract Whitaker with burritos. I’m gonna put these in the microwave and blast these bad boys up on high, and then…”

The explosion muffled by the closed door was enough to get Mr Whitaker rushing out of the teachers’ lounge. “What the hell- What the hell is goin’ on down there?! Jesus!”

“...Whitaker will hear it and come runnin’. When he takes off from the teachers’ lounge, the coast’ll be clear straight through to the principal’s office, and then we make our move.”

As the principal moved past the closet we were all hiding in, Stan slowly opened the door, giving the four of us the chance to run out. As Dina and I silently followed Whitaker, Stan and Syd headed towards his office, keys in the latter’s hands.

“Syd, you’re the key man… Key lady.”

“Wait, why am I the key lady?”

“Because you’re… good with your hands.”

“Ew.”

“Dina and (Y/N), you two are lookout. You keep eyes on Whitaker.”

I crouched down and peeked around the corner as Dina did the same right above me. Whitaker had just opened the door to the microwave, the smoke engulfing him as he coughed and fanned it away.

“The burrito bomb should keep him busy for awhile.”

The two of us watched in amusement as he grabbed the fire extinguisher from the fire emergency supplies and sprayed it into the closet.

“That man cannot resist a fire extinguisher, which will give us the time we need to get in. Burrito bombs are disgusting. Last time I set one off, my whole house smelled like bean farts.”

“True story.”

“Gross.”

Sooner than we expected, Whitaker took off from the crime scene in a hurried pace. Dina and I quickly rushed towards our friends, the girl waving her arms in the air as I readied the door to the closet for us.

“Anything goes wrong, lookout crew, you signal us… and everyone take cover.”

Once Stan and Syd noticed Dina, they scurried off down the hall to hide. I pulled Dina into the closet with me and silently closed the door as we crouched down.

“That is literally the worst idea I’ve ever heard.”

“It’s fair. It’s totally fair. Can you think of a better one?”

…

“Our best hiding spot’s probably behind the trophy case. And we wait…”

A collective sigh of relief filled the closet as the savior ringing echoed through the halls.

“...for the smoke alarm. Which will buy us more time. Which we will need, because there are a shit-ton of keys. Like a metric shit-ton, it’s ridiculous.”

After our principal took off away from his office again, the closet door slowly creaked open as Dina and I watched Syd and Stan successfully enter the principal’s office.

“Once we’re in, we head straight for the security system in the closet. And that’s it!”

The smoke alarm cut off its insistent ringing within seconds. My heart thumped in my throat as Whitaker’s form stormed down the hallway, towards his office in angry strides. Thankfully, Syd and Stan ducked down before he caught sight of them. As soon as he passed us, I gently nudged Dina out of the closet. “Go create some big distraction that’ll lure him away,” I whispered under my breath. “I’ll keep him from the door.” I stood up straight as Dina nodded and silently hurried down the opposite end of the hall.

“Whatever you do, do not panic. Do not bail… or we are screwed.”

Whitaker was seconds from the door and I had yet to come up with a way to get him distracted again.

“Okay, but what happens if your plan goes to shit?”

Finding the key on his ring, he began jiggling it into the lock.

“It won’t.”

I stepped out of the closet, breathing labored in panic.

“But what if it does?”

When the lock sounded, I let out an ear-splitting scream that had Whitaker jumping three feet in the air. When his gaze settled on me, he marched my way, steam practically shooting from his ears. “(Y/L/N), what the hell is the matter with you?!”

“U-Uh- Uh, something happened down that way!” I blurted out, pointing down in Dina’s direction. His head followed my finger before it snapped back to me.

“Well?! What ha-”

A crash sounded.

“Improvise.”

The poor man shook his head in exhaustion. “I’m too goddamn old for this shit…” He whined before taking off down the hall, away from his office. Once the coast was clear, Syd and Stan peeked up, watching as I gave them a thumbs-up. They gratefully smiled my way before standing and finishing the job.

“And if all goes well, as it should, we grab the footage, our sexcapade remains private, and nobody gets expelled.”

My shoulders sagged as Sydney walked out of the office with Stan behind her, holding up the flashdrive in her hand.

“Let’s hope this shit works.”

-------------------------------------------------

It totally worked. After our brilliant scheme, the four of us sat in front of the lockers to rest, my form sandwiched between Stan and Dina. He kissed the flashdrive and let out a breath. “Oh, I thought we were screwed…”

“We were screwed, but holy shit, we did it.” Dina quietly laughed along with the rest of us.

“Thank you guys,” Sydney smiled, the three of us turning to her. “Seriously.” She chuckled as I reached my hand over to Stan’s pocket. Catching onto what I was doing, he fished his case out himself.

“Wonderful idea, Nugget,” He pecked the back of my hand with his lips before I could move it away and slid a joint from his case. “Any takers?”

“You’re not serious.” Dina frowned as Stan took out his lighter. He nodded to her with furrowed brows.

“He is.” I grinned fondly at my best friend as he lit up the end of his joint and inhaled the smoke before handing it over to me. I happily accepted it and took a hit as Dina glanced around us, hoping no adults were around to witness the scandalous act. She choked out a laugh when Sydney accepted the joint from me.

“Since when do you smoke weed?”

Sydney slyly smiled and stretched the smoke over to her, my own hand taking it to give her better access. “Oh, come on, Dina. Everyone’s doing it. Don’t you wanna be cool like us?” We all giggled and watched as Dina hesitantly took a hit from the joint. Her own snorting encouraged our laughter to increase, the four of us blissfully unaware of what lay ahead of us just in the locker room down the hall.

We sat in that hallway for the next half hour, talking about everything and nothing as our time of release approached closer. When the joint was finished, we entered the gym to enjoy our fading highs in peace. Dina headed over to the bleachers, and Stan and I sat on the bench beside the locker room, as Sydney headed inside to use the bathroom. The two of us sat in a comfortable silence as he shifted the colorful columns of his cube. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes, and soon after, I felt his head rest against mine. “So… are you gonna need a ride home?” He whispered.

“No. Jake is picking me up.”

“That’s good, that’s good. Um… now do you wanna talk about how you’re doing? I know that, like, we’re still in school and we’re not entirely alone, but I just wanted to see how you were after you had to-”

“I’m doing better,” I interrupted his rambling. “Thank you.”

His hands froze their fiddling before one shyly crept close to mine. I felt his fingers graze my thigh as he interlocked our fingers in a tight hold. “Of course, Nugget.” He muttered right as Dina walked to the door to the locker room, giving me a smirk before walking inside. Stan then held up his rubix cube and chuckled. “Wanna try and solve it together?”

“Oh, my god, yes.” I laughed. And with that, we were using our free hands to turn and shift the cube around, hushed laughter filling the gymnasium as we told each other ‘no, not that way’, ‘turn the blue one’, and ‘yeah, yeah, that one’ for the next minute and a half of peace. Once our time was up, the door to the locker room slammed open and a teary-eyed Dina stormed out, a frantic Brad behind her.

“Babe, wait, please. Syd’s lying, I swear to god! Please! She’s lying!” As Dina walked out of the gym, Whitaker walked in, watching her go. “You’re not seriously breaking up with me right now!”

“Hey! Which one of you punks eats burritos?” Our principal shouted, Stan and I stifling our laughter in each other’s hair and shoulder. “Alright, I don’t know what the hell went on tonight, but I wanna see everyone in my office first thing in the morning!” He gave us one last look before exiting again. As soon as he was gone, Brad turned to Syd with a clenched jaw.

“I offered you a truce, and you fucked it up. This is on you. You remember that.” He pointed at her before angrily stomping out. Stan and I detangled ourselves from each other as Jenny walked out of the locker room with crossed arms.

“Ah, another day in paradise,” She looked between the three of us as her smile faded. “So, you guys wanna get wasted?”

I scoffed. “Fuck off, Jenny.”

Waving Stan and Syd goodbye minutes later, I joined Jacob in his car. He smiled over at me as I clipped my seatbelt on over myself. “So? How boring was it?”

“Oh, a total fucking snoozefest.” I rolled my eyes, my cousin chuckling and pulling off towards our home. Halfway through the car ride, I heard him turn down his music and sigh.

“Bug, what’s going on with you?”

“Huh?” I turned to him with raised brows.

“You’re… You’re different. You’re quiet, you skip dinner sometimes, you’re sleeping in. You never do that, especially the quiet part. Jesus, you’re so loud-”

“Okay, asshole, I get it!” I laughed quietly before going completely silent again. Not realizing I proved his point, I jumped when he poked my arm.

“See? Something’s wrong with you. What is it? Is it Ricky?”

“I-” I don’t know why I wanted to keep the whole situation a secret. Things like this needed to come into light and Ricky deserved to be exposed. Sensing my hesitancy, Jacob nodded.

“There we go. What did he do this time? Did he forget an anniversary? No? Did he… cheat?” Silence. “Did he do worse?” My eyes darted away. “(Y/N), did he do worse…?”

“I don’t know if I should say, Jake-”

“You absolutely should say it, (Y/N). Did he hit you?”

“No.”

“No? Did he… you know, touch you?” His tone softened as tears welled up in my eyes. “Bug, what happened…?”

“H-He raped me…” I cried and covered my face. “I got drunk on his birthday and he took advantage of it. A-And then he lied and said we were both drunk. B-But everyone else said he wasn’t even drunk.”

A beat of silence passed before the roar of the engine slid in pitch. I looked up at the houses and street signs that flew past us in a blur. “J-Jake, what are you doing?!”

“We’re gonna pay Ricky a visit.”

Before I knew it, we were in front of Ricky’s house. Jacob silently released himself from his restraint and exited the car. I sunk down in my own seat as I watched Ricky walk out of his home and towards his car. Upon seeing Jacob, he happily waved, but his smile vanished when Jacob decked him in the face so hard he fell to the ground. My breathing sped up as I jumped out of the car, speeding over to the two. “Jake! Stop!” I screamed as he straddled Ricky, landing punch after punch on his face. Ricky cried out and tried to push him off, but it was no use. Jacob was so much stronger than him. I knew pulling on him and screaming at him would do nothing, so I looked up and turned all around, watching as some neighbors peeked out their windows and front doors to watch the scene unfold. When I heard a crunch, I whipped back towards them and almost hurled at the bloodied mess that was Ricky’s face. “Jake, come on!” I screamed and pulled him off.

Stumbling to his feet, Jacob grabbed Ricky by his collar and lifted him close. “I don’t ever wanna see you near her. I don’t wanna hear that you spoke to her, I don’t even wanna know that you looked at her,” He growled, Ricky frantically nodding. “Don’t ever associate yourself with my sister ever again or I will make sure your eyes are swollen shut next time. Got it? Got it?!”

“Yes.” Ricky wheezed out before he was dropped to the ground.

“We’re going home, Jake! Jake, let’s fucking go home!” I screamed and ran to his car, getting in the driver seat. Chest heaving, he strode back over to the car and got in the passenger seat, sighing heavily as I drove away, leaving behind a groaning Ricky. I hadn’t even noticed his bloodied and bruised knuckles until I parked the car. Like a worried mother, I helped him out and over to the front porch.

“Hey, lovely!” I heard Stan call out. Looking up, I saw that he and Syd were just about to enter his house. “Do you wanna-”

I fished out my keys and hurriedly unlocked the door, pushing my cousin inside and shutting the door behind us. After ordering him into the bathroom, I found some bandages and hydrogen peroxide and joined him inside. The next few minutes were spent in silence, save for the soft hisses that escaped him when I dabbed the chemical onto his cuts. As I wrapped his hands, I felt his eyes on me. “(Y/N)?”

“Yes?”

“If he tries anything ever again, tell me immediately.”

“I know.”

“I’m serious,” He ducked his head down to meet my eyes, his own shining with unshed tears. “I promise you, he won’t lay a finger on you as long as I’m around.”

Setting down the blood-covered cotton ball, I nodded and allowed my lip to quiver.

“I know.”

—————————————

Taglist: @nate-isnt-great @sapphicsyn @stqnley @lonely-kermit @a-t-h-r-e-e-n-a @moatsnow

#i am not okay with this #ianowt #ianowt x reader #stanley barber #stanley barber x reader #wyatt oleff #wyatt oleff x reader #i am not okay with this x reader #ianowt fanfic #ianowt stanley barber #forever and never

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hamliet · 3 years

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Metals and Heavenly Bodies: Why There Is So Much Metal in RWBY

So, why is RWBY so metal?

RWBY uses metallic symbolism to explore the alchemical process (the refinement of metal into gold via the creation of the philosopher’s stone). Alchemy has seven metals that are ordered in terms of refinement: three base metals, one that is the most refined of base metals, and three refined metals. RWBY has been associating each metal with certain characters. It’s also been giving these characters their ultimate focus in the precise order of refinement.

Metals in alchemy are also associated with heavenly bodies, or planets (well, plus the sun and moon, because we’re dealing with ancient astronomy here). The planets, of course, are named after Roman gods, so they too can be associated with the metals, and RWBY directly correlates them.

NB: It’s very valid to critique tropes and subtext. This isn’t intended to invalidate any criticism but rather to offer a symbolic reading of the metal motif.

So, let’s dive in.

Base Metals:

Lead-Saturn

Associated characters: Qrow Branwen, Ruby Rose, Mercury Black

While I can’t think of any specific reference to lead in RWBY, there are a ton of references to the mythical Saturn.

Saturn's father (Uranus) was a piece of work who hated Saturn’s mother and so took his son (and other children) and imprisoned them in a cave so that they could never see the sunlight. Saturn’s mother eventually persuaded Saturn to take a sickle and castrate his father. He then wasn’t a particularly great dad himself, becoming more like his father than not.

In alchemy in particular, we have images of Saturn with a prosthetic leg (see: above). This is where Mercury begins his arc. He’s abused by his father, who steals his semblance and refuses to allow Mercury to be his own person (effectively rendering him a prisoner). So, Mercury kills him, and then is taken in by Cinder and Emerald to be an assassin for them, an assassin just like his father. You can see the parallels.

Saturn’s sickle is also often drawn as a scythe, which Death holds in the above image. A scythe is of course the weapon used by Ruby and by Qrow--specifically, Qrow is the person Ruby imitates and admires. But we know (and Ruby now does to) that Qrow is a flawed human himself; Ruby is better of becoming her own person rather than continuing to stay like her father-figure in Qrow (her own dad is great, but that doesn’t mean Qrow isn’t also a dad figure to her!)

Qrow, of course, is self-destructive, believing his semblance is to bring bad luck wherever he goes. His name is “crow,” the bird symbolizing the first (black) stage of death and rotting in alchemy. His own upbringing can also be compared to Saturn’s.

But, you see, Saturn isn’t actually a sign of doom and death. It is one of the symbols of the prima materia, the lead to be transformed into gold by the end of the alchemical process. It shows where the characters can grow, and indeed all three of them are along their path towards growing.

Tin-Jupiter

Associated character(s): James Ironwood (maybe Weiss Schnee)

Well, I’m actually going to talk more about Ironwood and his arc in the next section. But in Ozpin’s circle, in which characters are based on The Wizard of Oz (a blatantly alchemical story), we have Qrow as the scarecrow, Lionheart as the Cowardly Lion, and Ironwood as the tin man. Jupiter is also associated with the Sublimation stage in the process of alchemy, which is where we are now.

In case we didn’t get the allusion, RWBY has helpfully placed artwork of tin men on the walls in the background of Weiss’s room this season.

I’m aware that this screenshot isn’t from this season but it gets the point across. I also feel tin might well have an association with Weiss and where she was at in her arc after the fall of Beacon.

Additionally, Jupiter is actually Saturn’s son in mythology, and is saved from being eaten by his father (look Saturn really wasn’t awesome). He returns to force his father to regurgitate his siblings, and Jupiter and his rescued siblings (yes they were still alive; it’s mythology) fight to dethrone their father. They succeed with the use of lightning, among other things. Saturn was then imprisoned in tartarus. You can see the parallels.

Do note that the glowing sun above the head of the tin man on Weiss’s wall, showing Weiss is destined to become refined like gold. The golden sun is in sharp contrast to Ironwood’s allusion to the Dark Sun, but there’s a lot more to say about Ironwood in the Iron section.

Iron-Mars

Associated characters: James Ironwood, Marcus Black, Mercury Black

First, let’s continue with Ironwood. I’ve noted before that iron is associated with war:

Iron in particular is ruled by Mars, the god of war, meaning it is associated with violence. It’s not a coincidence that pretty much from the second Ironwood is introduced, the concept of war comes up, and his entire character has gone on to be the embodiment of the military and violence.

In addition to seeing himself as a sort of be-all-end-all Jupiter figure, Ironwood of course is always expecting war. His arc is one of reverse alchemy, which is a thing. It means that instead of becoming refined, he’s corroding from Iron to Tin. I don’t see good things for him.

Mars in mythology also becomes obsessed with Venus, which... you’ll have to read the next section for that ;)

Marcus Black, of course, is an assassin, hence it makes sense that his name literally means “dedicated to Mars.” Mercury (our Mercury) becomes more like him in taking over his role as an assassin. He’s so broken from his father’s abuse that he refuses to become his own person and just falls into his father’s role. It’s tragic.

So is Mercury’s arc reverse alchemy? No, I don’t think so. There’s more (of course) later on, but if we look at the stages of his development, we see he has moved from Lead to Iron. It’s progress. His leg is a focus for the early arcs of the story (he uses it, along with Emerald’s semblance, to trick everyone into turning against Yang), and only later did we learn his history with his father. Even if the events of course did not happen in succession, the story revealed the allusions one after each other. He’s also made progress in that he’s clearly emotionally attached to Emerald even if he pretends otherwise. Also... (see below)

The Most Perfectable Base Metal:

Copper-Venus

Associated character: Penny Polendina

As I also mentioned previously, Penny’s name references copper (a “copper penny”). The Summa Perfectionis, a thirteenth century alchemical text, calls copper “the most perfectable of base metals.”

Venus in alchemical imagery is almost always wearing (or surrounded by, since she’s also often, well, not wearing anything) green.

Green is in alchemy the color of the prima materia, the raw, immature material that will eventually be refined into gold, because green is of course symbolic of the earth, fertility, growth, etc.

As I wrote previously, in mythology Mars had a thing for Venus. I’m certainly not suggesting Ironwood has a thing for Penny in a romantic/sexual sense, but he does seek to control her, and like the Mars of myth, his pursuit of Penny/Venus leads to his humiliation (the Mars of myth gets caught in a trap--no literally a net--by Venus’s angry husband).

In contrast to Ironwood, Penny, who is originally made entirely of metal, becomes human, while Ironwood becomes more metal--not necessarily literally, but in his spirit. He’s lost his humanity, or rather, gave it away, while Penny found hers. It makes sense to me that a story with spiritual alchemy at its core (which focuses in the Jungian sense on individuation/self-actualization, or fully coming into an understanding of the self) would have Penny literally transform into what she has always been: a final product, a real girl, the philosopher’s stone.

Refined Metals:

Now these are going to be a bit more predictive. The allusions are clearly there, but how exactly those will play out I don’t know because if we look at these metals as steps in the process, we’re not quite there yet.

Mercury-Mercury

Associated character(s): Mercury Black, (maybe Emerald Sustrai)

I think the name says it all.

Kidding. Mercury as a metal is also known as argentvive or quicksilver. It, along with sulphur, form the basis of the alchemical process. They must be united to achieve the Philosopher’s Stone (it’s one of the reasons I am wondering if we’re going to get an important, Mercury-related event in a place named for sulphur or its other name, brimstone, in Vacuo; all the places we know of in Vacuo are named after types of stones including several that are sulfuric in nature). Mercury himself unites the two principles of the work, sun and moon (for who those are, read below). Mercury is the metal from which all other metals come from--he’s way more important to this story than we’ve seen yet. Most likely, he will eventually turn on Salem as well, and in a pivotal moment.

As a god, Mercurius is the author of alchemy. He’s the mythical author of the Emerald Tablet (which Emerald’s name alludes to; I actually don’t personally think Emerald alludes very much to Aladdin. Instead, I think her allusion is the Emerald Tablet and her Egyptian design is based on Thoth, Mercury’s Egyptian counterpart). Mercury is the spirit that gives life.

Lyndy Abraham notes that Mercury is “both destructive and creative” (oh look at the relics of Atlas and Vacuo) and that “the elusive, duplicitous Mercurius who consorts with the devil is at the same time a redeeming psychopomp” (”psychopomp” means spiritual guide) “The fact that he can freely participate in both light and dark worlds without taint makes Mercurius the perfect mediating bridge.” Jung calls Mercury “a symbol uniting all the opposites.” So yeah, Mercury should have a redemption arc that will probably be pivotal in the story.

If we follow the self-actualization endgame of spiritual alchemy, with true life and wisdom as the metaphorical philosopher’s stone here, I think it’s likely Mercury becomes more himself--going from being Lead to Iron (as he’s clearly spiraling right now, but also has a connection to Emerald) to Mercury. I would also suspect he’d get his semblance back to establish that he’s his “own person” (a major recurring theme of RWBY), and while, like with Yang and her arm, I don’t think he’ll get new legs, I think it’s pretty likely his semblance will enable him to fly (since mythical Mercury, you know, flies).

Silver-Moon

Associated character(s): Ruby Rose (also Weiss Schnee, Blake Belladonna, Oscar Pine, Jaune Arc, and Summer Rose).

The most important character here is Ruby, obviously. She’s our MC and titular character! But Weiss, Jaune, Blake, Summer, and Oscar are all addressed here. But I think it’s obvious that Ruby’s defining trait is her silver eyes. They got her noticed by Ozpin and sent to Beacon early, they’re the reason Salem is targeting her, they’re what could destroy her (turning into a Grimm) or save the world (what’s going to happen). Silver is noted to be “pure” which is what other characters constantly comment Ruby is.

Gold-Sun

Associated character(s): Oscar Pine (also Sun Wukong, Yang Xiao Long, Tai Xiao Long, Ruby Rose, Pyrrha Nikos, and maybe Jaune Arc)

The most important/obvious character here is Oscar. Oscar’s first name is a shade of gold and a type of fish that is most often brown or gold. He’s facing a similar dilemma to Ruby: the threat of merging forever with Ozpin (which clearly won’t happen; he needs to be his own person, as Ruby said).

Both Ruby’s and Oscar’s individualizations are somehow instrumental to defeating Salem.

#rwby #rwby meta #rwby vol 8 #oscar pine #mercury black #emerald sustrai #rwby theory #alchemy #james ironwood #weiss schnee #penny polendina #qrow branwen #ruby rose #ozpin #rwby volume eight

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donutloverxo · 4 years

Text

On the run

Authors note - this is a series of closly related one shots hence tagged as soft!reader. This is for Ambers challenge! Hope you like it! This is like there was only one room instead of there was only one bed.

Please do not steal or repost my works on any other site. Reblogs are welcome.

Run through - You have to go on the run with your husband and share a room with Bucky.

Warnings - smut, daddy kink, voyeurism (fucking right next to Bucky lol), cockwarming, angst

Pairing - Steve Rogers x soft!reader

Word count - 3.3k

Masterlist is linked in the bio!

You paced back and forth in your living room. It wasn’t exactly yours but it had been your home for the past four years. Your floor to ceiling windows gave you an extensive and broad view of new York City. You were on the highest floor of the tower, it made the huge city seem so city. Usually the lights soothed you whenever you were anxious. But you weren’t sure if you had ever been so scared. Scared for your husbands life, scared for your future.

Steve had broke the law. Your Steve, the Captain America. It was so ironic. He was declared a terrorist and a wanted man. You felt as if this was a fever dream. Never in a million years did you think something like this would happen.

From what you knew Steve refused to sign the accords. Which you understood, he had his reasons and they were completely valid. You hoped the team would work it out amongst themselves and come to a compromise somehow. But from the looks of it, that will never happen. No one really asked for your opinion. Even if you were like family to them, at the end of the day you were a simple accountant turned stay at home wife. A job you had to give up to be with your Steve. When it got too dangerous for you to go out in the world. You hoped maybe just maybe, Steve would do the same for you. He talked of retiring, becoming a high school professor or working on his art. And like an idiot you let yourself indulge in that fantasy and got sweeped away.

Your life wasn’t bad by any means, in fact it was too perfect. Your friends were often envious of your perfect marriage and your dutiful husband. But you wanted more for Steve. You wanted him to slow down a bit, enjoy life, to not wake up screaming in the middle of the night in a pool of his own sweat and tears. You loved all of him, but you loved him the most when he was happy. Being an Avenger took a huge toll on him. You just wanted him to be happy.

You were being ‘escorted’ to the interrogation room. You had only been there once, to see Steve. You never thought you would be the one being interrogated.

You couldn’t help but feel resentful. You were in this grey room, under the harsh fluorescent lights, being asked all sort of intrusive questions as if you were a criminal, because of him. You gave up everything for him. You completely gave yourself to him. You didn’t have much left.

“Are you sure?” The man in the black suit asked again.

“Yes I’m sure! I think I would remember if my husband contacted me” you snapped.

“Alright. Please calm down ma'am” He said and you rolled your eyes at his patronising tone “You can leave for now but you’re not allowed to leave the premises. Let us know as soon as Rogers contacts you. If you don’t you will be an accomplice to his crimes”

His words echoed in your head on the way to ‘your' apartment. You sat back on your couch ready to drown your worries and your sorrows in some wine. The portrait Steve painted of you in a short white sundress, playing with some birds like a Disney Princess, hung on your wall almost taunting you. It was all superficial wasn’t it?

All the gifts he gave you, all the sketches he made of you. Every time he held the door open for you or tenderly made love to you, looking into your eyes and staring deep into your soul. Did all of that really matter? If he didn’t consider you or your relationship while doing something as brash as – you didn’t even know what he did. His duty won over his love for you. It always would.

You should’ve known. Your mother warned you. Told you you’re not the kind of person that would be fine with being the second or even fifth priority. Too possessive, too loving. People like you only ever get their hearts broken.

What did the future hold for you? You knew Steve, or at least you thought you did. You knew he wouldn’t help a war criminal. A terrorist. Sure said terrorist was Steve’s friend, but Steve was the kind of person that held others accountable. But at the end of the day Steve was just a human and a softie. You could see him being so loyal and going till the end of the line for his buddy.

You hummed as you felt a hand caressing your cheek. The feeling of his calloused fingers felt so familiar. It was a nice dream, an escape from this dystopian reality. You’d like to live in it forever but then your eyes snapped open as you heard him call out your name.

You sat up quickly sat up straight “Steve” you blurted out as you looked at your husband. In a dark blue, red, and white which was dirty enough to be black, suit. His short blond hair a bit frizzy, his left cheek blue and purple, unlike the neat and tidy look he usually sports. You looked into his eyes, which looked so tired and exhausted.

“We have to get out of here right now” He said gravely. But then his face softened. “It’s not safe here for you doll. I can’t leave you here, where I won’t be able to protect you” he said cupping your face with his hands.

You should have asked him a million questions. If what they were saying was true. Did he really help a terrorist? Attack his friends, whom you considered your family. But you didn’t. You simply crashed your lips upon his, taking his breathe away. It was soft, sweet but needy. Just like most of your reunion kisses. “I’ll follow you anywhere Steve” You said pulling away and looking into his sky blue eyes.

He gave your forehead a soft kiss before pulling you up. Telling you to collect your things as quickly as you can. You changed into a pair of jeans and sweatshirt, packing a few more t-shirts and pants.

“Hurry up doll we don’t have long” he urged you.

You made your way out of the apartment. You were walking to the elevator thinking you would be going down on it. “No, y/n we have to take the stairs. Come on” he took your hand.

He lead you to the emergency exit, one you didn’t even know existed. He was always good at reading and remembering maps. You smiled thinking of the time he easily got you both out of a very complicated Halloween maze.

“Steve why are we going upstairs?” You asked panting and trying your best to keep up with his face. You weren’t blessed with the super serum, you weren’t a huge fan of working out either.

“We have to take the jet and leave the country” He said rubbing your back. After a few seconds he hauled you over his shoulder “Hold on” He said sprinting up the stairs.

“Wouldn’t they notice us leaving in a literal quinjet?” You asked “What happens if you get caught Steve? What will they do to you?”

“Don’t worry about that right now” You wanted to laugh. Not worry? You were literally fleeing the country. How could you not worry.

You finally made it to the terrace, shivering in Steves hold against the chilly air Steve set you down in the jet. Before working on the kinks to get it started.

Surprisingly you made it out without anyone following you but you held your breathe. Not letting your guard down until you knew you were completely safe. As soon as you were in the air Steve put the jet on stealth mode. Finally letting his back rest against his chair and letting out a deep sigh.

“Steve” you couldn’t help the quiver in your voice trying your best to hold in your tears. “what is going on? Is it true? What they were saying?”

“What were they saying?” he said quirking a brow at you.

“That you helped a terrorist and you’re like a... war criminal now” you struggled to get the words out. Uncomfortable to even think such a thing could happen.

“You really think I could do something like that” He rested his elbows on the arms of his seat staring you down.

“I don’t. That’s why I’m here. But I have a right to know what happened”

His brows remained furrowed, as if he didn’t believe you. You had no idea how he managed to turn the whole conversation around and put you on the spot. “It’s Bucky” He said, his hard face softening.

Bucky, his best friend. Steve had carried the guilt of his death on his shoulders for years. Which only got worse when he found out that Bucky was indeed alive, being used as a weapon by hydra. “They tried to frame him. He didn’t do anything wrong. He’s been suffering for years”

You briskly got up from your seat as you saw the tears escape his eyes. You were selfish. Only caring about how this whole ordeal was affecting you. You couldn’t even imagine what Steve must have gone through. You sat on his lap, hugging him close to you as he held onto you so tightly, as if you would disappear if he didn’t. “Promise me you’ll never leave me” he choked out against the crook of your neck.

You ran your fingers through his hair lightly scratching his head with your nails, in the way you knew he liked. “I would never leave you Steve. I promise”

Over five hours later you made it to Moldova. A small country in eastern Europe. Steve hid the jet, saying he would need it later, since he had to come up with a plan to rescue your friends. Which would be much harder than rescuing you, they were in a maximum security prison, in the middle of a freaking ocean.

You tried your best to not think about that when you were on your way to a motel. You were nervous to meet Bucky, who Steve said would be there with you. You had never met any of Steve’s family. Since well they were dead. Back when you started dating he wasn’t really friends with his coworkers, so you never really received ‘the shovel talk' from them.

This was nerve wracking. What if he thought you weren’t worthy of Steve? Bucky was the only link to Steve’s past, his oldest friend, surely his opinion would mean the world to Steve.

“Hey it’ll be okay” Steve said squeezing your thigh from the drivers seat, something he liked to do whenever you both drove together. “I would never let anything happen to you. You know that right?” He looked at you before looking back at the icy roads.

“It’s not that. I know you’ll keep me safe Stevie. If nothing else I believe in that” You said as he gave you a small smile “this is all just overwhelming you know? I mean would we ever get to go back?” You asked although you knew neither of you knew the answer. “and then there’s Bucky”

“What about Bucky?” he asked.

“What if... he doesn’t like me? I know it’s silly!” You whined before he could make a snarky comment “We have other things to worry about and whatever but I want to make a good impression. Is there something I should remember not to do? Or to do?” You scrunched your nose at your strange question and this stranger reality. Where you get to meet your husbands best friend at the worst timing.

“Uh...” He contemplated your words for a minute “Well don’t hug him. I know you like to do that” he let out a laugh at just how sweet and likeable you are and how Bucky would love you the second he lays his eyes on you “Don’t worry sweetheart. Bucky’s the last thing you have to worry about. You wouldn’t have to even try to get him to like you”

You finally parked at the motel. Ever the gentleman, Steve held the door open for you holding your hand as you made your way up the shaky stairs. Steve knocked three times on the door before the tall brunette whom you recognised as Bucky from all his old pictures opened the door. He let you both in. You took off your coat the room wasn’t as warm as you’d like but it was definitely better than the harsh cold outside.

You watched as Steve embraced Bucky in a hug asking him how he was doing. You tried not to let your gaze linger too long on him, but you couldn’t help but admire him. He was a few inches shorter than Steve, but he had the same alert soldiery stance as Steve and the similar Brooklyn accent. Not to mention he was one of the most handsome men you’ve ever seen. He definitely looked more aged and somehow different than in the photos.

Steve introduced you “This is my wife” He said and Bucky gave you a small smile.

“This punk couldn’t stop talking about you” He said grabbing Steve by the back of his neck.

You were happy to see that even if they both had changed over time, their friendship and bond remained the same. “Good things I hope” You playfully squint your eyes at Steve.

“I’d never say anything bad about you doll” He walked towards you kissing your forehead and putting the backpack you packed on the bed. “You must be tired, you wanna go to bed?” He sat down on the bed cracking his neck, the stress of the last few days getting to him.

You finally had a chance to look around the room. It was what you’d expect from a shady motel. White floors which were now almost yellow, torn wallpaper and an old television. But then you looked at the twin beds. Looks like you’ll have to share one with Steve. You hoped he would be able to get proper sleep, with how tired he looked he really needed it. “I’m tired?” you teased him.

After freshening up and changing into your night clothes, you settled on the bed, sighing in relief as your sore back touched the hard mattress. Out of the corner of your eye you caught a glimpse of Bucky settling in on his bed beside you and his metal hand peeking out of his long sleeved shirt. You wondered what it looked it, did it hurt him? How was he able to move it so naturally as if it’s a part of his body? You really had to bite your tongue to not let your curiosity get the best of you.

“This will have to do for tonight sweetheart” Steve said spooning you from behind and pulling you into him. You sighed out as you felt his bare and warm chest through your tank top. You wouldn’t have to worry about being chilly. Bucky turned to lay on his side away from the both of you.

You hummed as Steve snaked a hand past your tank top and resting it on your soft tummy. Drawing small random patterns on it. Bucky turned off the lights, it wasn’t completely dark, there was plenty of moonlight coming through the window. You insisted on helping Steve out of his steath suit, so you could check in on his wounds and treat them, it was a post mission ritual for you both. But Steve refused to let you in as he changed in the bathroom alone. You feared that his wounds were worse than he was letting on.

“I missed you princess” he whispered in your hair, snapping out of your thoughts. “did you miss me?”

Bucky was snoring and seemed to be in a deep slumber but just to be safe you kept your voice low “I did” You said wiggling your ass against his crotch. You weren’t surprised to find his pretty hard erection there.

“Yeah?” He smirked ghosting his fingers at the elastic of your shorts “how much” before he could dip his fingers your hands stopped him

“Not now” you whispered harshly “Bucky is sleeping right there” you scolded. How he could even think about sex right now you had no idea. You would be mortified if you Bucky woke up to find you both in the middle of it.

“We’ll just be quiet” He said slipping his fingers past your shorts and panties and between your thighs. You wanted to stop him. You really did. But you realised just how much you missed him when he brushed his fingers against your warm folds.

“I can’t be quiet! You know that” You whined as he dipped his finger in your heat. You had no idea what had gotten into him. He loved making you moan, scream and cry. Did he want Bucky to hear you both make love? Steve was more perverted than he let on but this was something even you didn’t know.

“You will try for me won’t you?” He rolled your clit between his fingers and kissed your temple to sooth your thrashing “don’t you wanna be a good girl for me? Hm?” he asked driving three of his fingers inside of you to warm you up.

You should be embarrassed at the sinful noises that your cunt was making, you could hear them clearly since you had to be quiet. But you weren’t. In the moment you just needed to cum. “I wanna cum daddy please” Your voice muffled against the pillow you had pushed your face into to drown out your moans.

“Then cum doll” he said thrusting his fingers into you with purpose.

“I wanna cum on your cock daddy” He groaned at that.

Pulling his fingers out of you. He pulled your panties and your shorts down, bringing the blankets up to your neck “You comfy princess?” You nodded. He pulled his cock out of his sweats nudging it between your buttcheeks. He pulled your bare leg placing it over his hip and holding it there as he slowly pushed into you. He pushed his other hand under you to hold onto and fondle your breasts.

In any other situation this position would be uncomfortable but right now you felt as warm and safe to be surrounded by him. You didn’t feel the need to cum anymore, content with the warmth and the weight of his cock inside you. His steady breathing and heart beat lulling you to sleep.

He didn’t like that. He snapped his hips and pushed his cock deeper inside you. “Don’t fall asleep on me now princess” He warned as he slowly fucked into you.

You dug your nails into his hand which was squeezing your breast as you tried your best to contain your moans. You let out a mewl as Steve stroked your clit while making slow love to you. You were tipped over the edge, cuming hard around his cock and on his fingers.

“Shit” He said as the pace of his thrusts increased “you’re so tight doll. So snug” He bit your ear to keep from groaning out loud. He was about to pull out of you, to clean you up with a washcloth. He wouldn’t trust the towels the hotels provided but he did see you pack a couple, he could use those.

But you tightened the grip of your leg on his hip, forcing him to stay in place. You looked over your shoulder and he could barely make out your pout in the dim light “Stay inside please. Keep me warm” You requested. He had never been good at saying no to you.

So he pecked your lips and chose to forget about the myriad of problems facing him and all of you. At least for now.

Tags will be in the reblogs! If you want to join my taglist click the link in the bio or leave me an ask!

I am sorry about the shitton of nicknames. I just like sweet nicknames ok🥺🥺

#ambersanyficchallenge #sweatersanyficchallenge #steve rogers x soft!reader #steve rogers x reader #steve x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x female reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader #steve rogers x original character #steve rogers x ofc #steve rogers x oc #avengers x fem!reader #avengers x reader #marvel x reader

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wolfsneedles · 3 years

Text

perhaps a small meta like thing i wanted to write and share on robb. I was thinking about that very haunting and pivotal moment in ASOS, when rickard karstark a loyal man of robb and starks killed the two prisoner/wards kids from lannister family when he realised catelyn released jaime. Catelyn releasing him is different and a very realistically emotional thing but robb acting and defending his mother when rickard says It was Lady Catelyn who was responsible for murder of the two kids....he just slaughtered in sleep and dark of their cells (reeks of bit sexism and misogyny tbh). Not realising however that jaime wasn't gonna get killed anyways that to by rickard or Robb was never gonna let them hurt him. basically so if karstark was avenging his sons...who died in battle with Robb, it is understandable but this was rickard's individualistic revenge - he was fighting for robb too. For North and for Starks and for his KING. i never understood how he killed two children but thats not the concern really. It is how robb reacts to murder of two children by karstark which is so foolish and stupid and honestly cruel considering his revenge was not gonna succeed anyways when jaime had...already escaped (and no omg cat wasn't responsible for karstark betrayal). And then Robb says, "

"I owe their fathers truth," said Robb. "And justice. I owe them that as well." He gazed at his crown, the dark gleam of bronze, the circle of iron swords. "Lord Rickard defied me. Betrayed me. I have no choice but to condemn him.

He made up his mind anyways to execute karstark not for betrayal but also for justice. Poetic Justice maybe...but the entire scene of rickard karstarks execution is very hauntingly beautiful however uneasy and eerie, and you see robb from Cats POV doing something from his own hands himself. The imagery and environmental gloom is perfect. Even weather grrm wrote like, was hauntingly unsettling.

Lord Rickard's fought at my side in half a dozen battles. His sons died for me in the Whispering Wood. Tion Frey and Willem Lannister were my enemies. Yet now I have to kill my dead friends' father for their sakes." He looked at them all. "Will the Lannisters thank me for Lord Rickard's head? Will the Freys?"

He obviously knew, the death of karstark's liege lord will earn him worse betrayals and series of more unfortunate events,, yet he still in despair asks brynden and others, that freys and lannisters will obviously not thank him for this. Infact they repaid him worse.

How then can you call this vengeance? This was folly, and bloody murder. Your sons died honorably on a battlefield, with swords in their hands.”

I wanted to describe the scene which is so poetic. But the fact that there is constant thunder and rain can highlight the fact that it was or can be synonymous to misery and death and...robbs ultimate betrayal when karstarks leave in the night same day. Catelyn described the weather outside as,

"Outside the thunder crashed and boomed, so loud it sounded as if the castle were coming down about their ears. Is this the sound of a kingdom falling? Catelyn wondered"

In the next sentence u see, robb more mature and dauntless when he decides he will execute rickard, "Robb reached down with both hands, lifted the heavy bronze-and-iron crown, and set it back atop his head, and suddenly he was a king again. “Lord Rickard dies.”

(also makes me mention how ppl criticise dany too mostly from the got show, but in books why she kills people, i think....if u put yourself in those historical framework and mentality of medieval society with loyalties and devotion tied to each other whether based on federalism or personal love, betrayal and treachery or going behind a king or queens back doesn't...go unpunished. Treason never goes unpunished when we also think of jon snow executing janos and robb with karstark. You have to realise emotions of both people. the one who carries sentence and one who dies.)

Back to the scenic description i found in this chapter. Catelyn again talks about weather and i absolutely loved contrast bw the weather and grimness of it and an execution soon to be carried in godswood,

"When day broke, grey and chilly, the storm had diminished to a steady, soaking rain, yet even so the godswood was crowded. River lords and northmen, highborn and low, knights and sellswords and stableboys, they stood amongst the trees to see the end of the night’s dark dance."

"Robb flung the poleaxe down in disgust, and turned wordless to the heart tree. He stood shaking with his hands half-clenched and the rain running down his cheeks. Gods forgive him, Catelyn prayed in silence. He is only a boy, and he had no other choice"

I think the rain is perfect thing. the way it is pouring down and then previously it was mentioned how remaining men who took part in killing young boys of lannisters with karstark were hung from trees ...but their faces were darkened and washed and grrm mentions this a lot everytime he mentions a depressing scene with death and ppl hanging from trees esp when lady stoneheart or brothers without banners or brienne and pod encounter people hanged. Its also sooo haunting how karstark was executed in front of heart tree and godswood...by hands of Robb as well (similar to what ned said that man who passes sentence will swing the sword so he knows what he feels too and robb did it last moment too)

" That was the last she saw of her son that day "

This line by catelyn also describes horror of war and how young people like robb in this case are dragged into the lords game of thrones, sometimes half-heartedly sometimes intentionally she describes how war is affecting her son who is after all a boy.

".....rain continued all through the morning, lashing the surface of the rivers and turning the godswood grass into mud and puddles"

This weather is same as it was described and was on the day or eve of when Catelyn and robb along with edmure were making for the Twins and and something more horrific which was about to unfold there as well ( red wedding ) and on their way to twins the rain is mercilessly beating and falling too.

Last i wanna mention is day when robb and his men with Catelyn made for the Twins for wedding and weather was same miserable since last time it was when karstark was executed...which I was thinking DOES point to robbs failure and demise in the end as weather has a lot of impact on story and so does the ice and fire contrast that has always been made where winters and cold winds welcome the coming of darkness and enemy force in this case the Others, and fire reflects passion, warmth and hope for me in passages. prob why i love mention of dany and her dragons because they do represent an entirely different aura and hope against the dread that is building on the Wall and beyond it for coming of the actual-evil-forces the Others.

This is how perfectly the differences bw robbs victory in Whispering wood taken as sign of pride and hope is mentioned with --> emphasis on how warm the weather was, and now their travel to the Twins for red wedding as --> rain, mud, puddle, banks overflowing, their stark banners flooded and hanging down (another excellent indication for how house stark did have their back and strength broken after the wedding hence banner hanging low, or when arya later travels to twins and sees the banners on fire due to the massacre taking place...)

"..As the gods would have it, their route took them through the Whispering Wood where Robb had won his first great victory. They followed the course of the twisting stream on the floor of that pinched narrow valley, much as Jaime Lannister’s men had done that fateful night. It was warmer then, Catelyn remembered, the trees were still green, and the stream did not overflow its banks. Fallen leaves choked the flow now and lay in sodden snarls among the rocks and roots, and the trees that had once hidden Robb’s army had exchanged their green raiment for leaves of dull gold spotted with brown, and a red that reminded her of rust and dry blood"

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writing-by-candlelight · 3 years

Text

Hargreeves Mansion Layout: Second Floor

Thank you for coming back for part 2! If you haven’t seen part 1 (the ground floor) you can find it here. And Part 3, the third floor, here!!!

The second floor is slightly more complex than the first floor and it has a lot more rooms.

If you haven’t seen my first post; yellow symbolizes doors or double doors, green are archways, the neon pink is the staircase coming up from the floor beneath (same goes for the light pink - its the main staircase coming up from the ground floor.), the blue is the long staircase from the stair race scene that goes through the entire house from the basement to the third floor. The orange and black will be explained later.

So overall the second floor has the most rooms out of all the floors and the most colors so here we go!

So for the ‘home’ section of the house lets start on the far right.

The empty square there is the balcony area above the living room. Its thicker on the bottom since that’s where the bar is and the bar is completely covered. There also seems to be a small sitting area above it.

I’ve realized now in hindsight that the other end of the walkway ends at the wall and does not have the same sort of walkway across the top. I may correct my drawing in the future.

Speaking of the top section, this is where I’ve put Hargreeves personal rooms. I’ve placed the surveillance room here - the room where Hargreeves watches the children’s brainwaves and where Allison watches the tape of Hargreeves death. I’ve also placed it at the beginning of the hall. We only know there’s a hall since Diego walks down one on the way to Hargreeves’ Bedroom.

I placed Hargreeves’ Study right next to it. I know its not L-shaped as I’ve drawn it but I didn’t want to make the surveillance room super big so I’m just going to run with it. We see a living room and another room through a second door in the study so I assumed that this was another way into his bedroom.

The dotted line through the main walkway is just how I separated the house into sections so it may be ignored.

Now the central section is simpler.

On the bottom we have the Academy oil paintings. The small tragic things taking place from their debut until there was only Luther, Everyone leaving or dying or disappearing.

A bit further, slightly around the corner, is Grace’s charging station with its portraits. I put a dotted line around it because there are no walls but I wanted to show where it was.

Ignoring the courtyard we now get to the most complicated part.

The Bedrooms.

So Luther and Allison are side by side with their doors angled like we see in the dance scene and a lot of other scenes as well.

Then to the side is the bathroom which we see in the show has its own small hallway lined with attack posters like the rest of the hall (horrifying, I know).

Now to the interesting part. Klaus and Vanya’s rooms.

In the flashback scene we see both of their rooms. They are next to each other and both about the size of a closet with Klaus’ being slightly bigger.

But in the scene where they are older and Vanya is destroying the mansion room by room, you can see that Klaus now has a bigger room and that the sort-of-brick wall that we only ever see in Vanya’s room is a part of it.

So at some point the wall was knocked down and both rooms were given to Klaus. It even seems to have both doors, as in one scene Five enters through one and leaves through the other. This results in this chaotic mess of the room:

See? Both doors!

Moving on.

Any black sections on my ‘map’ are just thick walls or areas filled up with dirt or cement (though that last bit is more likely for the basement.)

The rest of the layout is sort of only based in canon since I had to change things around for them to fit (this is what happens when you film in multiple locations and not one house)

Now Diego’s room is the one at the end of the hall as we see in the flashback of Grace walking along it. Now I know in this scene we also see a hallway veering off to the left but it doesn’t make sense with the layout of the house, since that’s where the house ends, so I’ve erased it.

Diego’s room is the smallest of the rooms (once Vanya’s wall is removed) and it doesn’t change much at all so I have little to say about it. But its canonical location is interesting. Originally Diego’s room is diagonal to the third floor staircase (which I’ve striped orange) and has a slight angle to the door. Thing is, for the bathroom to have its hallway and for said hallway to be within the constraints of physics, I had to switch the rooms around a bit.

From the hallway scene we know the bathroom is next to Allison’s room and Klaus’ room is next to Luther’s. But in order to fit the bathroom hallway I had to flip them so I could cut the bathroom into the walkway. That’s why there’s a dotted line through the bathroom since the walkway wall would be there.

The creators also just...forgot??? About the staircase coming up through the floor from the ground floor? so I put the pink stairs right next to the bathroom.

This meant though that I had to put Diego’s room next to Klaus though.

I’ve added a new room for Vanya since she needed one and we are never shown were it is. I’ve put it at the end of the hall, slightly closed off from her siblings since that seems to be where Reginald would have put it.

This is from the hallway flashback just before Reginald comes in frame from that side hallway that doesn’t make sense. The open door we see is Diego’s original (nonsensical) room, which is the room I’ve given Vanya. And the stairs there are from the orange staircase that goes up to the third story. That dark doorway you see is (now) Diego’s room.

Now imagine that the hall just ends with Vanya’s door and that the stairs are folded halfway down to face Vanya’s door.

That’s how I finally got everything to make sense. It took me hours!!! Now we can finally move on to the training section of the second floor.

The second floor is the main training floor. This floor houses the training and exercise room on the far right. This room is mainly for overall training. I’ve headcanoned that it has tan oval running track, weights, workout equipment, punching bags, a climbing wall, gymnastics equipment, and an obstacle course in the center.

The sparring and weapons room is exactly what it sounds like. I’ve put it here for a separate space without all the equipment, because there is no way Hargreeves didn’t pit his children against each other. I headcanon it as having a boxing ring style space at the top and empty weapons space at the bottom with targets secured to the wall (the targets can move with a remote). This space is separated from left to right 3/4 of the way by a large metal weapons case with almost every weapon imaginable. There are dozens of types of guns, swords, war hammers, battle axes, bow and arrows, spears, knives, flamethrowers, scythes, clubs, maces, batons, both dual and singular sticks & staffs, num-chuks, shuriken, and even ‘non traditional weapons’ like ropes and chains.

We know from the scene where Five reappears in Ep 1 that they were taught how to use anything as a weapon. I assume this was either tested in the kitchen itself, or he set up a replica of a household room here.

(This is really really sad, look at it!)

We can see the following:

Egg Beaters - Hair Pull

Stock Pot - Explosive Device

Toaster - Use Cord For Strangulation

Coffee Pot - Throw Coffee In Face

Blender - Hand Mangler

Then I added a row of personal training rooms for their individual powers. Each room has an observation room - with a two way mirror and its own entrance - beneath it. I made it like a prison interrogation room on purpose because Hargreeves goes for functionality and trauma over anything else, and he would not like to be in the same room as some of their powers.

As you can see, the seventh room, which had been Vanya’s, has had its wall knocked down (hence the dotted line) and observation door boarded up. Hargreeves changed it all and made himself a small office instead. This was because it was no longer in use and because he wouldn’t want anyone to suspect anything.

And that’s it for this second installment in the mansion layout!!! Thank you so much for reading, id love to hear any thoughts!!!! Stay tuned for parts 3 & 4.

#The Umbrella Academy #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #reginald hargreeves

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aspoonofsugar · 3 years

Note

How do our four romantic couples--Aruani, Eremika, Yumihisu, and Galco--foil each other?

Hello anon!

In general, I would say that all four ships explore in different ways two main topics.

1) Selfishness and selflessness

2) How war shapes relationships

1) In all the ships, there is a person who is too selfish, in the sense of self-centered, and one who is too selfless. Here, selflessness means a lack of self and the character who is too selfless usually hates him/herself, is too passive or too dependent.

This opposition creates unbalanced dynamics and conflicts the characters must overcome to end up together.

In Eremika, Mikasa is too selfless and focused on Eren to the point that she has tied her sense of self to him. Eren is instead too self-centered. He is the one who will destroy the titans. He is humanity’s hope. If they fail it is all his fault. He must be special in order to have value as a person. Until he arrogates the right to end humanity by himself in the current arc.

In their dynamic, Eren is the one who is always running ahead, while Mikasa is the one running after him. She wants for him to stop and to stay close to her, but he never does.

In Aruani, Annie is too selfish, while Armin is so selfless that he despises himself and always tries to sacrifice for others. This is why even if they love each other, Annie has chosen not to go with Armin to fight Eren, while Armin is currently hating on himself for having failed. Moreover, he has tried to sacrifice himself many times by this point and one even after having confessed Annie his feelings.

In order for their relationship to work, Annie must be more selfless and be ready to fight for others, while Armin needs to start valuing his life more.

In Yumikuri’s case, the lines are more blurried because they dynamic was about exploring and deconstructing what it means to be selfless and to be selfish. Anyway, when it comes to their dynamic, I would say that Historia is the selfish one since she is initially assorbed by her own idea of dying as a martyr. Ymir is instead always there for her and acts selflessly in order to protect Historia.

Finally, when it comes to Galco, Gabi is selfish, while Falco acts selflessly to protect her. This has been highlighted many times throughout the series. Falco ends up as a prisoner and as a titan because every time he tries to protect Gabi. Gabi runs in the battle selfishly without thinking about how she is affecting others, both enemies and allies.

In short, in all four ships either too much selfishness or too much selflessness or both are an obstacle.

In particular, Ymir died out of her selflessness. She felt responsible for Bertholdt and Reiner and sacrificed herself for them, leaving Historia behind in the process.

Eren will instead probably die because of his inability to escape a self-centered vision of the world.

Moreover, both when it comes to Eremika and to Aruani we are seeing Annie and Mikasa slowly moving toward respectively developing a sense of self and acting more selflessly.

Mikasa is becoming more and more independent from Eren to the point that she is fighting against him. Annis has instead accepted to fight for the world even if her home is already destroyed.

Armin and Eren are instead stalling. I think Armin will overcome his flaw in the end though, while Eren, even if he might won’t get the chance to live.

In Gabi and Falco’s case they have been developing in each other’s direction. Falco has become more proactive and more ready to fight for what he wants. Gabi has become more empathic and less iimpulsive.

The trajectory of their arcs reminds me a little of Yumikuri too. After all, Yumikuri started with Ymir trying to protect Historia, while Historia tried finding heroic ways to die. This is similar to the initial dynamic between Gabi and Falci. When she attacks the SC, Gabi is ready to die as a martyr and has suicidal tendencies. She even tells Falco to stop following her because she does not really want him to die. Falco, however, just like Ymir, is able to see through Gabi’s pain and does his best to protect her.

This leads to him becoming a titan (the same titan Ymir had), just like Ymir revealed hers to save Historia. Moreover, after their transformation both Falco and Ymir are kidnapped and respectively Gabi and Historia run after them in an inversion of their usual dynamic. It is important that both Gabi and Historia do so just after they have faced their flaw and have made steps to overcome it.

In short, in both ships the characters move toward each other. However, in the end Ymir dies. Why is that so? This is tied to the second point of this analysis.

2) All four ships have been shaped by the major conflict the characters are in. If the unbalance between selfishness and selflessness has fueled the most individual aspect of the couples’ conflict, the war between Eldian and Marleyans has ifnluenced the dynamics as well.

This is especially obvious when it comes to Yumikuri and Aruani. As a matter of fact in both ships the two people come from opposite countries.

Annie and Armin care about each other, but they face each other as enemies because their loyalty is for their homes.

Ymir and Historia are both victims of their respective countries, but in the end they both choose not to switch side. Ymir in the end goes back to Marley and dies because of this, while Historia becomes Queen of Paradis.

Gabi and Falco and Mikasa and Eren are instead on the same side. However, both Gabi and Eren are too focused and involved in war to notice the person beside them. Moreover, they both exhibit a white and black vision of the world.

Gabi and Eren both divide people in bad and good. They are either humans or monsters. Both their arcs deal with this dychotomy and challenge it.

It is not by chance that Gabi’s response to Falco’s confession is to take away his armband, just like he did to hers.

Falco took away Gabi’s armband and challenged her black and white vision. Symbolically he was telling her that dividing humans in devils and good people was wrong. And the moment he does, Kaya appears and the Braus’s subplot kicks in.

Gabi takes away Falco’s armband to refuse his death. She is telling Falco he will survive and that his life is important. Moreover, it is meaningful that Falco is finally able to confess the moment Gabi admits there were no devils, but only people. She has finally overcome her flaw and is finally ready to listen to Falco. She sees the world not in black and white anymore and can finally listen to others and understand their feelings. She realizes both Reiner and Falco’s feelings when she finally empathizes with her enemies (hence she becomes less self-centered).

Eren has so far refused to do so. He clearly feels for the people he is killing, but he is refusing said feelings. He is not letting go of the monsters/humans dychotomy. It is just that this time he has decided to be the monster and monsters do not really have feelings nor relationships. This is why he has been trying to push away his closest connections.

When it comes to this, Eren’s mentality is the opposite of Armin’s:

Armin has always known that there are no “good people” and this is why he could keep loving Annie despite her betrayal.

In a sense, Aruani is a mirror and an inversion of Eremika. Mikasa’s problem is her dependence on Eren, while Annie’s one is her closing off to others. Moreover, Eremika started as family and are currently fighting each other. Aruani started as enemies, but are currently fighting on the same side. Annie started her arc by sparing Armin’s life, while Mikasa will probably end hers by killing Eren.

In conclusion, all these four relationships are interesting because they are conflictual. The characters are all each other’s opposite and the war has influenced their dynamics in different ways. They must both overcome the major conflict and develop in their partner’s direction if they want to survive and to end up together. Yumikuri could not, I personally think Galco and probably Aruani will, but Eremika won’t (apparently).

Thank you for the ask!

#snk #eremika #aruani #yumihisu #galco #anonymous #asksfullofsugar #snk meta

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mystickitten42 · 3 years

Text

AO3 Tag Game

Thanks so much for the tag @peachpety 😘 I thoroughly enjoyed reading yours.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 27 (+ 2 in fests) 2. What is your total AO3 word count? 134,448 (But if things go according to plan, I’ll be adding another 50-60k to that in 2-3 months). 3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? I’ve only ever published HP (all Drarry, except for one rare pair that’s part of an upcoming non-anon fest). But before I got into Drarry, I experimented with some dystopian Malec (Shadowhunters). 4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Potter’s Ravine (E, 23k)

Harry is undeniably numb. Still reeling from the sudden death of his godfather, he’s back at the Dursleys and everything seems hopeless. One day bleeds into the next. But, as they say, nature abhors a vacuum…

Draco is unimpressed. The Dark Lord and his infernal giant snake have taken over Malfoy Manor and he’s confined to his rooms. He feels like a prisoner and it’s just not right. He’s a Malfoy. Itching for confrontation he decides to go visit Harry Potter.

Things don’t go according to plan.

The Time in Between (E, 42k)

Harry never wanted to be the Chosen One. Draco refused the Dark Mark. Together, they set out to create something new. But can they outrun their destiny?

~ or ~

The one where Harry sets everything on fire, Draco confronts the darkness within, and Narcissa will do anything to keep them safe.

Light up Your Lust (E, 1k)

All it takes is a Cornish Pixie, a spilled potion and everything becomes quite clear.

Malfoy sputters, “That’s ridiculous, Potter. I don’t want to – ”

“Then tell me to stop.”

But the only noise Malfoy makes is a breathy sigh as Harry dives back in and kisses his jaw, plunders his incandescent lips, before he follows the glowing path south…

The Naughty List (E, 2K)

In which Hermione takes Harry to an art class and the model is familiar, blond, and pointy.

Malfoy steps up onto the round platform and casually lets his robe slip to the ground. As he adopts a pose, Harry’s jaw drops. Draco Malfoy is a work of art.

“Close your mouth, Harry,” Hermione whispers, and Harry does.

When Death Comes Calling (T, 2k)

It’s All Hallows’ Eve and as Harry investigates a string of seemingly related deaths, there’s one he hopes to prevent. He looks over Harry’s shoulder and Harry turns too. They both see it, the dark translucent figure making its way to shore.

~ Or ~ Getting together in the face of Death. Literally.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not? OMG, I appreciate each and every single comment I receive. When I’m feeling down, I go back and re-read comments. I do try to respond to every one, but sometimes it takes a little while (depending on spoons, life, and writing deadlines). 6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I love happy endings, so most of my fics end happily or hopefully. But I have one fic, written for My Bloody Valentine 2021, that does not have a happy ending. You’re the Only One for Me (M, 1k, MCD, mind the tags)

After all these years, Draco's still the one.

7. Do you ever write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve every written? I have not written any crossovers... yet. I might. I might not. But I have contemplated Drarry with Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (I’m a big fan, hence the ‘42′ in my pseud), or with Lost Souls (by Poppy Z. Brite, a vampire novel set in New Orleans).

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? I’d have to say any ‘hate’ I’ve received has been minimal (although it thoroughly bummed me out at the time). But I received a lot of support from fellow Drarry authors and took their advice (deleted the comments without responding to them). Many others have received comments far worse than those I received and it makes me sad. 9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Ha! You may have noticed 4/5 of my top five are rated E. I love reading and writing smut. I’ve mostly written M/M, but I do have some F/F in the works. I adore porn with feelings, and angsty, angry sex that leads to feelings.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge. 11. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I never thought I would (I’m too much of a control freak 😂) but I co-wrote two during Exploding Snap 2021, and I had a blast! It was so much fun, amazingly refreshing, and I would totally do it again. The Stars on the Calendar (T, 2k, with @anaxandria-writes)

Harry accepted there were many things he and Draco would always argue about. He just didn’t think sex would ever be one of them.

Midnight Rendezvous (T, 696 words, with @cequonveut)

The Fat Lady gets an eyeful while portrait hopping down the seventh-floor corridor.

12. What’s your all-time favourite ship? Drarry!!!!! But I also love Grudders, Roarmac (thanks Peach!), Jeddy, Scorbus, Charlie Weasley with pretty much anyone, and various poly ships. Outside of HP, I also have a soft spot for Malec and Jimon (Shadowhunters) and Steve/Ghost (Lost Souls). 13. What was the first fandom you wrote for? HP is the only fandom I’ve published in. But as I mentioned above, I have an incomplete Malec burning a hole in my hard drive. Maybe one day I’ll finish it… or maybe I won’t… 14. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written? As much as I adore writing drabbles and short fics, I really love to become immersed in my longer chaptered fics. All of them are my favourites. I’ve already mentioned my Old Magic series (Potter’s Ravine, The Time in Between, and I’m currently working on the third installment). But my other recent fav is my Wireless fic: Until It All Comes Undone (E, 38k).

Following his confrontation with Voldemort, Harry returns from King’s Cross Station completely changed. He wakes up at Privet Drive with no memory of his past, the war or magic. Petunia, widowed and suffering from empty nest syndrome, is only too happy to turn Harry into Dudley 2.0.

But something’s not quite right. Plagued by recurring nightmares, Harry can’t help but feel something is missing. A bottle of his cousin’s LSD helps him to forget his worries… Magic may not be real, but the hallucinations and the hot blond he meets all feel pretty magical to Harry.

Having turned his back on his family, Draco is determined to start over and do the right thing. But he’s never made good decisions when it comes to Harry Potter. When Potter—presumed dead, but very much alive—unexpectedly returns, Draco will do anything for a second chance. Even if it means pretending not to know who he is…

This idea burned inside me for nearly a year and refused to be silent. Writing this terrified me, because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to write it the way I wanted it to be written. Completing this story was an amazing journey and really taught me to believe in myself. (And, of course, I’m eternally grateful to my amazing beta, @peachpety 🥰)

I apologise in advance if I’m double tagging anyone (and, of course, no pressure!) @pennygalleon, @andithiel, @cequonveut, @anaxandria-writes, @eelwinks, @thesleepiesthufflepuff, @evaeleanor

#tagged #tag game #AO3 works #writing #my fic

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child-of-hurin · 3 years

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So I’m thinking of a Narn AU where Húrin isn’t set on Thangorodrim and remains a prisoner in the fortress. His children are still cursed and he is still regularly shown images of them but it doesn’t take up all his time as it does in canon. I bring this up because I was curious what you think about how much of the bad things that befall Túrin and Niënor were explicitly planned before. Because I’ve always thought that the compelled incest part was at least in some way planned before and was very specifically about Húrin watching the ruining of his bloodline (which goes back to my other cursed HCs) in addition to the suffering it would bring his children.

Anyways no pressure to answer or anything I was just curious if this was something you had thought about

-@outofangband

(Disclaimer: I haven’t read much of the HoME besides what pertains the Narn, meaning I haven’t read any extended material on Melkor and so on.)

Honestly this is a very interesting question that I have posed myself before. It brings to mind this passage:

[Transcript:

Report of the Dragon-helm in the land west of Sirion came swiftly to the ear of Morgoth, and he laughed, for now (1) Túrin was revealed to him again, who had long been lost in the shadows and under the veils of Melian. (2) Yet he began to fear that Túrin would grow to such a power that the curse that he had laid upon him would become void, and he would escape the doom that had been designed for him, or else that he might retreat to Doriath and be lost to his sight again. (3) Now therefore he had a mind to seize Túrin and afflict him even as his father, to torment him and enslave him.]

My conclusions here are:

(1) Melkor’s ‘eye’, which Húrin had been forced to access as well, couldn’t penetrate Doriath under Melian’s power. Makes me think the whole time Túrin was growing up, Melkor had Húrin watch Morwen and Nienor’s growing misery in Dor-Lómin instead?

(2) Everyone has talked about this a hundred times because it is so incredible. So the doom was defeatable? So, cosmically speaking, there was some validation in Túrin’s methods of seeking war and power? Much to think about

(3) This bit is the only passage I can recall where instead of vague threats, the text gives us a concrete plan of Melkor’s for this family. When he sets Glaurung forth, we have absolutely no idea whether his actions were meticulously planned by Melkor, a mastermind, or just strokes of Glaurung’s own evil creative genius as derivated from Melkor’s will or whatever.

So. My opinion is that it isn’t a plan. First and foremost because I hate the anime villain type who was secretly controlling all the variables of the game, but also because I genuinely don’t get this aesthetic from Melkor/Tolkien. Melkor’s power is godlike; it doesn’t come from logic control over the material world, but from a more intimate relationship with what makes the material world itself.

Thinking of two events: one, when Melkor releases Húrin. Melkor has changed and posioned Húrin’s spirit, but Húrin isn’t aware of that. Húrin still hates Melkor, but, as we see in the Wanderings, he is still an agent of Melkor (to use a term @promin-blog used in [that interesting meta post you reblogged recently]). Compare that to Niënor, to whom something very similar happens: Glaurung poisons her spirit and then sets her free.

In my understanding, in neither of those two situations did Melkor or Glaurung know exactly what was going to be the outcome; they just knew it was going to be bad for their captives, and thus, good for them. Melkor is a being of chaos against the benign order of the world, so he fundamentally gains from an increase in the chaos, or a corruption in the order of the world. So when he explains the curse to Húrin, he says:

‘You say it,’ said Morgoth. ‘I am the Elder King: Melkor, first and mightiest of all the Valar, who was before the world, and made it. The shadow of my purpose lies upon Arda, and all that is in it bends slowly and surely to my will. But upon all whom you love my thought shall weigh as a cloud of Doom, and it shall bring them down into darkness and despair. Wherever they go, evil shall arise. Whenever they speak, their words shall bring ill counsel. Whatsoever they do shall turn against them. They shall die without hope, cursing both life and death.’

I take that at face value in terms of, this is literally how it works. He didn’t know exactly that Húrin would kill Mîm, bring the Nauglamír to Thingol, then fight with his once-beloved Haladin kin and cause their destruction, just like I don’t think Glaurung knew Niënor would find Túrin, fall in love with him and have his child. BUT they knew releasing these poisoned agents would benefit their cause one way or another. (I do think Melkor presumed correctly that Húrin might try to find Gondolin though! Hence the spies). So I guess I don’t agree with you that the incest was pre-planned, although I do think the ruining of Húrin’s bloodline was definitely a huge point that, in Melkor’s mind, was probably inevitable. If Túrin had, say, had a baby with Finduilas, Melkor would have gotten a hold of that baby too, at some point... I think when he says he is the master of the Fates of Arda, he means that his will has too powerful a hold over Arda to be broken, and not, necessarily, that he controls every detail of it.

That makes me think of that passage you mentioned recently in your blog:

“But ever the Noldor feared most the treachery of their own kin who had been thralls in Angband; for Morgoth used some of them for his evil purposes, and feigning to give them liberty sent them abroad; but their wills were chained to his and they strayed only to come back to him again” (”Of the Ruin of Beleriand”, p188, The Silmarillion)

It makes me wonder how many of these elves were, like Maeglin, aware of their own collaboration, and how many might have hated Melkor their whole lives while still being agents of his will 😬

It’s a super depressing thing, this possiblity that the Narn puts forth, of an otherwise free person being permanently and inescapably ruined for as long as you hold your material existance in this realm. It is the ultimate corruption of free will, because it means no matter which choices you make, they will always come to evil. You’re helpless: intent doesn’t matter, hard work doesn’t matter. I think it’s fitting with Melkor being a god, after all! That’s why it’s relevant that out of the five members of this family, only one is directly murdered by Melkor’s actions. The others take their own lives, although more indirectly in the case of Morwen - the only one who “was not conquered”. The rest of them, Túrin, Nienor, and Húrin, end up choosing death as an escape, and I think it is in a way because they ultimately understand that Melkor is playing on a godlike level that they, as mortals, cannot reach.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO ANOTHER DEPRESSING THING. We, as readers, have the benefit of knowing that Mandos exists and Eru exists and the Ainulindale happened. We have also read about Beren’s spirit lingering in Mandos waiting for Lúthien. So we ASSUME there is an afterlife for the second-born. We know Tolkien envisioned that, spiritual man that he was. But in the narrative, mortals themselves don’t have any reassurance of that!

So this exchange here becomes even more chilling:

So?

Did he lie?

#so did he lie? this is what used to keep me awake at night fam #did he lie?#melkor #the children of húrin #húrin #silmarillion #outofangband #btw menel we stan #i love the dantesque/medievalesque/aristotelesque touches of worldbuilding whenever Tolkien gives us them...#cw suicide discussion #a fairytale about slavery

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