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#he stops and puts away the rest as leftovers
jrueships · 15 days
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If Alpey and Jaba got ice cream together, which flavours do you think they’d choose? 🤔🍨🍨
From the way Jabari acts, some people would mistake him to be a pretty boring guy when it comes to tastes in food. He's a creature of comfort who, if uncomfortable, will battle and yell with all the ferocity of a territorial lemming to regain it. However, some people tend to oversee that comfort and luxury can come hand in hand. Jabari is not the man who will play it safe, he will squint at the ice cream's menu and carefully select one of the most obscure options ever after conducting some serious research either beforehand or during the process. This research includes asking the employees what they think of the dessert. Even if there's a line of hungry kids and their late to work parents waiting behind him, Jabari will hush the ground so he can calculate All the options to come to a stable conclusion that Yes, this Is, in fact, The Best choice of item to spend my money on. He probably likes combinations, like an upside down banana split or something odd like that. If he's buying ice cream at a place that's stabilized itself by making good ice cream, it can't just be any ice cream he can just buy at a store then. It has to be THEIR SPECIAL ice cream. He's here for luxury and specifics, whatever the ice cream store says they can do the best, like, actually do in terms of making it, sprucing it up with syrups and fruits, and decorating it all nice and different, mixing it, etc, he'll buy it. I feel like he'd be one of those people that buys those really fancy overloaded ice cream shakes where there's like syrup or crumbs decorating the outside of the cup like sugar on an alcoholic beverage and there's a brownie bar on top for extra extra appearance appeal.
Meanwhile, alpey just wants some Dondurma, which is a Turkish ice cream notable for its hard texture and melt resistance, so he brings his own special knife and fork sets, one for him, one for jaba so they can cut into their ice cream bricks :] !! He's fond of the sweeter flavors, but they can't be artifical. ... sadly, there is no delicious Dondurma, and the ice cream just melts and slips between the slits of his special fork with much despair and pity. His ice cream lacks the sweetness and realness he desires, and they have no honey !!!! It's not stretchy or chewy at all! the texture is almost nothing !!!
It's okay, though, because Jabari orders him something special off the menu, an ornate mixture of various fruits and syrups and decorative pizzazz that they both end up using their forks to eat it. The creature of luxury cannot stand to see his fellow critter in need lack his own creaturely comforts. Before Jabari orders Alpey a new unique ice cream, he coaxes (demands) alpey to try a spoo-forkful of the carefully considered dessert of Jabari's choosing. Once he can tell Alpey likes Jabari's ice cream more than the simple and safe one he chose, Jabari buys Alpey something similar but with more sweetness. Cue another hour long research session that makes the poor teenagers groan as they watch their line grow longer and longer behind the happy couple(?) clinging onto their weird little forks instead of spoons.
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lesbian-cowpoke · 3 months
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My parents: why does no-one eat the leftovers we have so much
The leftovers: *the grossest most white person bland food imaginable. Inedible. Looks vaugely like throw up.*
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kenananamin · 7 months
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Tie my tie, marry me
Summary: The moment Nanami knew he never wanted to tie his tie by himself ever again and wanted to spend the rest of his life by your side. fluffy, nanami x fem!reader, nanami already loves everything you do but something about tying his tie was so intimate and special to him
It had been a year since Nanami officially asked you to be his girlfriend, but you had just started staying over during the weekdays. If either of you would stay at each other's houses, it would only be during the weekends when you both knew the next day could be dedicated to each other. Only recently had that unspoken rule changed.
You had both gone to the mall to shop for your new professional wardrobe and Nanami asked if he could buy a few extra things for you to keep at his house. You both knew what that implied and told him he could buy it, only if you could buy some stuff for him to keep at your house. You had both never been happier to spend more time and money at a crowded mall.
Nanami woke up a bit later for work than usual because of a power outage that turned off his alarm clock and did not charge his phone. You went into work after he did so you make his coffee and pack his lunch while he took a quick shower. You run into the bathroom to let him know he had less than 15 more minutes.
He steps out of the shower and grabs his razor to shave. You reach for the hairdryer he bought for you to keep at his house and start to dry his hair as he quickly shaves. You run out and start to rummage through his closet to set his clothes on the bed. Nanami finishes shaving and follows you out to get dressed.
"Shirt first, hurry," you take the shirt off the hanger and throw it to him.
Nanami begins to button the shirt when you get in front of him and start pulling his collar up and putting his tie around his neck. He looks at you with a questioning look and you quickly explain, "My dad taught me how to tie a tie. Never thought it'd come in handy since I never knew anyone who regularly wore a tie before you." You laugh at the memory but continue what you were doing to avoid making your boyfriend late.
Nanami however... his fingers stop buttoning his shirt. He looks at you, concentration and rush covering your features, but your fingers gently grazed his skin as you looped his tie. She's the first person to ever tie it for me, Nanami thinks. He had to learn how to do it from a video and was later corrected by some older male coworkers who showed him with their own ties.
The events of that morning finally dawn on him. You jumped out of bed right after you felt him jump out and started rushing around the apartment with him. He hadn't even mentioned that he was late, but you opened your eyes and knew what to do. He could smell the coffee from the room and heard the clanking of the leftover containers being opened and slid across counters from the shower. You dried his hair knowing that his route to work was not long enough to let it dry itself, and you took out exactly what he would have worn that day while he shaved. And now... there you stood before him, helping him tie his tie so his hands could do other things.
It seemed so... small. It was so small, so truly insignificant in the scale of life, something that could not hold weight in the world or change anything in the universe. But it changed his life, it was his favorite view in the world, and it would become his universe.
You look up at him and see him staring... and his hands not moving?! You move his hands away from the buttons and rush to finish buttoning it down. He takes your face in his hands and leans down to kiss you slowly. So very slow and soft. It stops you completely and you wrap your arms around his waist, relishing in the smell of his aftershave and body wash. Nanami deepens the kiss and moves an arm around your waist to pull you in closer. As much as you love when he pulls you in, the movement pulls you out of the kiss trance.
"Oh my god, Kento, hurry!! You're late, you're late!"
You step back and shove his pants into his arms. You tell him to hurry and that you'd grab his shoes to put by the door. You start yelling across the apartment that it would rain the entire afternoon and he needed to take the umbrella.
Nanami listens as you rustle through the closet looking for the umbrella and the light thud of what might have been his lunch bag and coffee thermal on the entryway table. He walks out the room putting on his suit jacket and sees you lightly jumping while telling him to hurry with his shoes.
Nanami leans down to tie his shoes but pauses after he's done. He goes to touch your bare leg since you hadn't even gotten dressed after waking up. You only wore his large shirt and underwear. He kneels and carefully lifts one leg to kiss your knee. He looks up from his kneeling position and says, "Thank you for helping. You really didn't have to."
His loving eyes close slightly while you lean down to give him one kiss as your response. "You're late," you whisper against his lips.
Nanami stands and takes his things while waving bye to you and your bed head. He heads out the door and begins a light jog to catch his regular train.
Yeap, she's the one, Nanami thinks.
Nanami spent his lunch break at the jewelry shop looking at rings that would look beautiful on your finger. There were so many engagement rings that would look gorgeous on you, but one caught his eye as he imagined that ring slightly moving on your finger as you tied his tie.
"I like that one. Do you have a size (your ring size) in stock?"
Nanami buys the ring at that moment and texts you to ask if he could come over to your house after work. He does not plan to propose on a regular Tuesday evening with no special plans, but he wants to hug you, smell your lovely perfume, take you some flowers, and give you a special thanks for helping him. And maybe, maaaayybe (most likely), stay over at your house to help him with his tie again the next morning.
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rainbowhao · 21 days
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fratboy taehyun
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fratboy taehyun who acts like your boyfriend but isn’t actually your boyfriend—just your high school friend who’s too dense to realize his feelings
fratboy taehyun who is never really surprised to find you walking around campus in his clothes
“oh. so it was you.” he gestures to the sweatshirt you wear
you laugh nervously. “how’d that get there? must of grabbed it by mistake.”
he just pulls the hood over your head before tugging you to your next class. “all the clothes you have and you still insist on wearing mine.” 
fratboy taehyun who is an all-rounder and insists on joining every extra curricular he can yet somehow always finds time for you
fratboy taehyun who acts all serious and tough but would do anything you ask him
“please never contact me again,” he says after showing up to your apartment just to catch the cockroach in your kitchen
fratboy taehyun who is a natural flirt but doesn’t realize the impact he has on you
fratboy taehyun who grabs your wrist when a car’s coming and lifts his shirt post-practice to wipe at the sweat on his forehead—who’s not shy even when he knows you’re in the stands watching
fratboy taehyun who avoids bringing you around his place whenever possible because of his nosy roommates
“i’m helping rearrange around some furniture,” he tells soobin one morning. 
this catches his friend’s attention. “you’re what now?” 
he calmly repeats what he said while slipping on his shoes.
hyuka watches the interaction, grinning manically. “you like them. soobin, he likes them.”
“yes. moving a desk translates to unrequited love.” taehyun rolls his eyes.
soobin hums. “unrequited, huh?”
fratboy taehyun who leaves you breathless even in jeans and a jersey—who meets you in a cropped shirt and backwards hat one warm afternoon and has everyone staring
fratboy taehyun who orders dessert to cool off and doesn’t think twice before wiping off the leftover ice cream by the corner of your lips
“you wonder why everyone thinks we’re dating.” you try to laugh off the situation 
fratboy taehyun whose eyes widen at your joke—who can’t help but think about what you said for the rest of the day and even turns to his upperclassman yeonjun for an outside option
fratboy taehyun who winds up outside your door after a long conversation, quietly knocking in case you’re already asleep (and secretly hoping you just won’t hear)
fratboy taehyun who forgets every word in the dictionary when he sees you’re wearing nothing but his t-shirt, features visibly tired beneath the street light
fratboy taehyun who can only think about how pretty you look—were you always this pretty—and can’t stop himself from commenting on your choice in sleepwear
“you look really cute in my clothes.”
fratboy taehyun who is secretly satisfied when you get all flustered
fratboy taehyun who stays over at your place—something he hasn’t done since high school—and somehow winds up next to you in your tiny bed
fratboy taehyun who doesn’t seem to mind when you creep closer to him in your sleep, eventually entangling your limbs with his
fratboy taehyun who takes off his shirt when it gets too hot
fratboy taehyun who forgets said action and wakes up startled to find his torso bare and your arm across his stomach 
“sorry…” he doesn’t know what else to say.
you’re frozen against his side. you can feel his muscles contract beneath your forearm. “it’s fine.” you gulp, gaze hesitantly trailing upward to meet his piercing eyes
“why are you looking at me like that?” taehyun mumbles.
you can’t look away. “like what?” 
fratboy taehyun who starts feeling things one shouldn't feel about their friend
fratboy taehyun whose breath hitches when he realizes how close you are—how easy it’d be to dip his head down and kiss you just like that
fratboy taehyun who’s convinced his dumb friends put these thoughts in his mind and would rather die than entertain the idea that they were right all along
fratboy taehyun who becomes even more protective over you 
fratboy taehyun who is bold enough to put his hand on your waist when you go to parties and doesn’t let you out of his sight when you wander off with an overly-friendly beomgyu
“you haven’t looked away from them once,” soobin comments smugly while sipping beer.
“really? didn’t notice,” he says absently.
his roommate chuckles. “you’re looking at gyu like you want to murder him.”
“sounds like a normal night to me.”
fratboy taehyun who’s forced into the closet with you after a stupid game of truth or dare
fratboy taehyun who keeps mumbling apologies everytime he touches you—who is starting to feel a little claustrophobic in this tiny dark space
“seems like they really want us to get together.” you break the silence.
“dumb, right?” taehyun chuckles.
“cause it’s me?” you sink back against the wall. “dating me is dumb?”
“that’s not what i meant.” the words are flying out of his mouth. 
fratboy taehyun who says fuck it—friends kiss, right?
“if it’ll get them off our backs.” he tries to play it off cooly.
fratboy taehyun who looses all control when he gets a taste of you, pulling you further against him until there’s no space between your bodies—who’s addicted to the feeling of your lips on his and quickly forgets about the game 
fratboy taehyun who never realized how needy he was for your touch until your hands are in his hair, on his sides, cupping his face—who never wants to let you go now that he has you like this
“think they’ve kissed yet?” beomgyu sighs, legs crossed and leaning against the couch
soobin smirks. “twenty bucks says they're having sex by the time we pull them out."
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Girlfriend Interrupted
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Summary: Reader had a bad day at work and Spencer's complaints are not the best timing.
Couple: Spencer/Fem!Reader
Category: Hurt/comfort
Content warnings: Mentions of food, hunger, and prolonged time without eating
Word count: 887
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The bus rumbles across the old asphalt and bricked crosswalks while hissing at stops. All you could do was lay your head against the window and try not to fall asleep or accidentally smash it into the glass after hitting a precarious pothole. You were three stops away from home and all you wanted to do was lock yourself in the apartment and gorge on the least healthy meal you could find. 
You had a healthy meal planned for lunch today actually; a salad filled to the nines (the nines being roasted chicken, nuts, pomegranate, and honeydew). It was perfect. So perfect in fact that someone stole it from the fridge when you were in the middle of beating a deadline. And even after being successful in that, your boss still found time to yell at you for something another co-worker did. You weren’t sure which one, but it wasn’t you. You’ve been nibbling on a granola bar on the ride, but your mind is occupied by the leftover lasagna in the fridge.
And you find it there, waiting for you under the stark refrigerator light. You yank it from the bottom shelf and don’t even consider looking at the microwave. You barely looked at the dishes you left in the sink after breakfast this morning and remember how behind you were when getting ready for work, telling yourself you’d put them in the dishwasher before Spencer got home. You did say you’d do that. And Spencer doesn’t like dishes in the sink.
 Instead, you grab the blanket from the back of the couch and settle in the dark, pulling up a YouTube video you’ve been meaning to watch. You rest your phone against the book spines Spencer had specifically picked out to be displayed for their guests (mainly your parents during the holidays and his co-workers). Most of them are about astronomy, nothing you’ve cared to pick up. They’re detailed enough to keep Spencer entertained and sturdy enough to keep your phone upright while you slurped up tomato sauce and ricotta cheese. And so you snuggled in like a kid watching Saturday cartoons, sugary cereal at the ready.
And it’s when you think of your boyfriend again that the door behind you opens with a creak. The thud of his cane echoes across the wood floor as that same door clicks as he shuts it. You manage to say “Hey, Spence” through your glorious mouthful of a rushed dinner. But Spencer says nothing back. He’s been struggling not just with his knee acting up again after his previous surgery, but with being unable to travel with his team. The thud of Spencer’s cane trails from the entryway to the kitchen. It was a tough day for both of you, no doubt.
Your sympathies started to wane though when Spencer interrupted your video.
“Ugh, Y/N. I told you I don’t like dishes in the sink.”
“I know.” You tried to say without a mouthful. “And I’m sorry. I was running late for work and needed to get going before—”
“And you left the fridge door open, too. We talked about needing to cut back before our lease renewal. The National Weather Service expects an uptick in accumulation by late December.”
You pause your video and turn in your seat. “Sorry, I was going to do it when I got home, but I needed to eat because someone stole—”
“And you’re eating the lasagna from the tray? We have clean bowls. You could easily grab one from—”
“Let me talk!” You ended up shouting. It was sudden for both of you. You’re never one to raise your voice and Spencer has never been one to fuck up bad enough to witness it. It forces Spencer to freeze in place, like that accumulation he talked about just rushed through the apartment on your command. It would be funny if it was some sort of command if you already weren’t teetering on the edge of tears. The sting in your nose already started traveling to your eyes. They welled up and Spencer quickly became a blur as you started to sob, the trials of a bad day finally getting to you. You let your chest heave and tears streak down your cheeks, hoping at least a portion of the stress will subside afterward.
You didn’t expect Spencer to be right next to you. You didn’t hear his cane once on the floor. It was against the arm of the couch. And he was on the floor, resting on his knees. Of course, you’re too distressed to point out that is the last thing he should be doing if he wants to avoid more surgery so badly. Plus he’s busy with taking the meal off of your lap. “Come here,” he tells you. He’s holding your hands. His hands are just as frigid as the lasagna. But he pulls you up as he tries to stand, meeting you on (somewhat) equal footing to bring you into a hug. It’s warm, obviously. All of his hugs are warm. He wears cotton-only cardigans and wears layers of clothes even at the peak of summer. “I’m sorry.” He says. “Just let it out. I’m here.”
“Spence. Your knee.”
“It’s fine.”
“You need to—”
“Be here. Which I am.” And he holds you tighter.
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lunamugetsu · 1 month
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House Husband Danny
(Remember this post I made: Danny is a househusband. Well I decided to make it into a story) Crossposted from AO3. Here's a link
Location: Unknown, Date: Unknown
Three figures emerged from a glowing pit of green water, gasping for air as they dragged themselves out.
A man with dark skin was breathing heavily and went to shake the pale man with dark hair that was still unconscious. He paused as another hand was raised motioning for him to stop. He looked over at the women with long black hair.
“He’s tired, let him rest.” She said
“What are we going to do?” the woman merely smiled as she turned to fix the damp hair that was covering the unconscious man’s face.
“Simple… Danny will rest and heal…and we will live like the rulers we are.” She turned to look at her other partner.
“Yes… we will,” he confirmed as they both smiled while looking at their love.
Present Day
Danny hummed as he put away the newly washed dishes from dinner.
Ah, how nice it was to be in a home where the food didn’t come alive and try to declare war on him.
One less thing to worry about.
Now that dinner was eaten and leftovers were put away. He could focus on the package that came in the mail, he had been waiting for it for weeks.
Tucker and Sam had called ahead to say that they were working late.
What a shame.
Danny sat down in the living room and turned on the tv while cracking open the package.
“This is Lois Lane reporting for the Daily Planet! Breaking news as the Justice League members Superman and Wonder Woman are fighting off villains in Metropolis! They have been identified as the new villains: Upload and Nightshade. They made their first appearance known to the world a couple months ago- JIMMY LOOK OUT!”
The camera shook for a moment before stabilizing showing Superman was holding onto Lois Lane and Wonder Woman was holding onto the cameraman.
“It’s not safe here, please evacuate to a safer area.” Superman said before speeding off with Wonder Woman following close behind.
“Jimmy get a shot! That’s Nightshade!” the reporter said pointing to a large plant-like monster made of vines and thorns that was the size of a skyscraper. The cameraman zoomed in on the figure that was currently sitting on the monster’s shoulder. A woman with long black hair that appeared as if it was almost floating in an ethereal manner. She was a pale woman wearing a black skintight bodysuit with matching thigh high boots, black bandages were wrapped around her forearms while her hands lit up with a neon green energy along with her eyes. Nightshade smiled, turning to look straight into the direction of the camera before saying some words that the camera couldn’t pick up before humongous vines started filling up the camera’s screen, the sound of screaming could be heard before the feed was cut.
“That doesn’t look good,” Danny commented before turning back to the open package.
Ooh, that fabric did feel as soft as it was advertised! He better try it on to see it fit. He knew he checked the measurements before placing the order but still, mistakes always happened. He was also still a little hungry, perhaps some fruit from the fridge would be good.
It was a couple of minutes before the for the news to come back on. Danny sat down on the couch, sporting a plate of fruit with a side of whipped cream to dip it in. He plopped one into his mouth as the tv started airing the news again.
The camera lens managed to stay undamaged as the camera man and the reporter were taking cover behind the corner of a building focusing on the figure that was currently standing in front of a fallen Superman that was grimacing as the green light from the glowing rock in the figure’s gloved hand seemed to intensify. It also didn’t help that there appeared to be a set of special cuffs that were encasing the superheroes hands, forcing them together.
“And here I was thinking that defeating you couldn’t be that easy… well then again. Can’t expect a superhero to just not react to their greatest weakness. Kryptonite wasn’t really hard to track down who had a stash of these, it was even easier to take it. ” The figure was a man with dark skin with long dreadlocks and was wearing a visor that covered hi eyes from view. He wore a long coat with short sleeves letting people see the robotic gloves that went up all the way up his arms. The camera picked up a hum emanating from the robotic arms and crack of electricity.
“Why? Why are you doing this, Upload?” Superman said as he made to force himself to stand despite his bound hands.
“Hmm, wealth, fame, power, pettiness, destroying all the buildings I want without needing to pay for it, or maybe I just don’t like people who call themselves heroes,” Upload said as he moved to the side as Wonder Woman was thrown into a building.
“Truly, I thought they’d give more of a challenge,” Nightshade commented as the plant-monster then slammed a hand down onto Wonder Woman encasing the superhero in vines  making it practically impossible for the woman to rip out of.
Danny hummed as he looked at the news.
He should probably help… he stuck a strawberry into his mouth.
“How do you think we should do this, Nightshade? Slowly and methodical, or fast and exciting?” Upload turned to look at Nightshade.
“Obviously, something with mo-“
RING! RING! RING!
The two supervillains looked towards each other. Upload taking out a phone from his pocket while Nightshade motioned for the plant monster to give her, her bag so she could take out her phone.
“Hello/Hello.” Thy said answering their phone in unison.
“You’re hungry?” Nightshade asked.
“We did say we were working late, you’re welcome to eat out if you want- huh? I mean, what are you wearing?” Upload said
The two paused and looked at each other.
“The thing you ordered a couple weeks ago?” Upload said, “the red one?”
“That’s made with silk?” Nightshade hands were clenching down onto her phone.
“And you’re eating,” Upload looked over at Nightshade.
“Strawberries and whipped cream,” She said.
Ding! Ding!
The two turned to their phone at having received a message. The villains looked at their phone  and then to each other.
“We’ll be there in ten!” they said in unison before putting away their phones.
It happened quickly.
With a wave her hand, all of the plants started retreating back away from the superheroes while saying some words that the camera couldn ’t pick up and a portal opened right next to her.
Meanwhile Upload placed the kryptonite into a contain while hitting some buttons that were on his gloves and the cuffs that were on Superman unlocked and fell off the man ’s wrists.
Nightshade motioned for the now human-sized plant monster to walk through the portal while Upload was walking up to her.
“Wait! Where do you think you’re goin-” Wonder Woman and Superman held their ears as a loud sound echoed out a tool that Upload threw on the ground.
“Oh no! How dare you heroes foil our evil plan!” Nightshade said in a dead tone before grabbing Upload by his collar, “c’mon we gotta go!”
The two ran into the portal, disappearing out of sight, leaving nothing but the aftermath of the destruction of the fight they had with the two heroes.
“I’m sorry, what the heck just happened?!” Lois Lane said, turning to look at the camera.
Danny hummed as he turned off the tv and took his plate of food with him as he got off the couch.
He needed to get upstairs, after all, Sam and Tucker weren’t going to be working late after all.
The man sat himself into the master bedroom, it had a bed that was an Alaskan King size. Largest size of bed they could find, could easily fit a whole family of four on it. He didn’t even know beds came in that size.
Danny continued humming as he settled himself down in the middle of the bed. The sheets were made of Egyptian cotton. Ethically sourced, of course. Sam wouldn’t stand sleeping on something that was made by a company that destroyed the environment while simultaneously overworking and underpaying their employees. Tucker had come to the rescue, buying a set of sheets on his last trip from Egypt. They had to custom order it especially since their bed didn’t fit the common dimensions that mass production usually went by.
But he wasn’t complaining, the bed was really… nice.
He laid back against the pillows, wearing nothing but the little red number that came in the mail that day.
He dipped a strawberry into the whipped cream and took a bite out of it. Giving a hum as he enjoyed the taste. It was so nice not to have to worry about anything. No ghosts trying to kill him, no government agency trying to track him down to vivisect and kill him, no parents trying to shoot, vivisect, and kill him- Danny wondered if that was a normal amount of people to have to want to kill him.
Whatever, it didn’t matter anymore.
He smiled as he heard the sound of the front door being slammed open and shut followed by a furious pattering sound of feet going up the stairs. He hoped they’d taken their shoes off when they got in. He just vacuumed the house that afternoon.
The door to the bedroom opened with a bang as he saw Sam and Tucker, wearing their civilian clothing that they had clearly just thrown on with no thought of whether or not they should straighten out any of the clothes or at least to check if they put on their shirt inside out. It was a rule though, never bring work home, it always brought trouble. They had enough trouble dealing with ghosts to last a lifetime, let alone the afterlife.
“I’m hungry,” Danny said while taking  a bite of a strawberry and licking off cream that caught on his lip. He could see them already looking at his mouth and trailing their eyes across the new article of clothing he was wearing.. The man curled his finger to motion for them to come closer.
“Come and feed me.” He smiled as his partners joined him in bed.
Ah, it was so nice when his partners didn’t work late nights.
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01zfan · 3 months
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rainy day | l. at
ex-boyfriend!anton x fem. reader | 5.8k words
anton brainrot is literally so real you guys im a victim
contains: breaking up, resolution, oral (fem. receiving), missionary, soft dom anton if you squint, reader is a pillow princess (good for her)
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it was one of the few days during summer where everyone stayed inside. the usual cool breeze that came with the season was replaced with harsh winds that could knock anyone over. the clear sky was replaced with clouds and soon a rain that threatened to flood your city would come. 
you loved when it rained. the inclement weather gave you an excuse to stay home and lay in bed all day. you wanted to use this day to recharge—your social battery had been running dangerously low since summer had started. you don’t know if it was because of your recent breakup and everyone taking pity on you but suddenly everyone had plans once it got warmer outside. it didn’t help that your roommate was a dj. giselle spent more time outside than in the apartment, various clubs being her place of work. and being giselle’s roommate came with its perks, you automatically getting to skip the lines to get in because you “know somebody”. you made it your personal mission to exercise this benefit almost every night.
being outside took your mind off the breakup. you couldn’t hear anton’s voice when music blasted in your ears or think about him when you were dancing around. you loved being out, but it started weighing heavy on your bones. between work and seeing your friends, you had been out almost everyday for the past month. you were grateful when you saw that a big storm was coming, like the weather gods wanted you to have a day off. 
you don’t remember the last time you were able to lay in bed past 10AM. you wanted to thank the rain that pelted your window and the wind that made your apartment building creak. because of it you got to be underneath the comfort of your sheets. giselle must’ve felt the same way, because this was the first time you had seen her in pajamas relaxing on the couch. you found her laying on the couch in the living room when you went to the kitchen to get some food.
“any plans for today?” you asked giselle sarcastically.
giselle laughed and looked from the television to you.
“probably gonna work on some mixes for upcoming sets.” giselle says. 
she turns back on her show and the sound of the television fills the room. you hum in acknowledgment as you open the fridge. you grab some leftovers to put in the microwave. after getting your food you head towards the couch and giselle lets her legs rest on the coffee table so you can sit down.
“grateful for a day off.” you sigh contently.
“oh i bet. you’re like a little party animal now.” giselle laughed.
you sat with giselle for a little bit before retiring back to your bed. giselle did the same as you about half an hour later. you could hear the television in the living room shut off followed by the sound of your roommate closing her door. soon after you could hear the low sound of music coming from giselle’s room as she went through several tracks.
you let yourself relax in bed as rain continued to fall. it came down sideways and in sheets, and you knew it would only be getting worse for the rest of the day. 
as you looked outside at the rain, it was hard to not start thinking about anton. when your mind got the chance to slow down, you couldn’t stop it from thinking about him. he loved when it rained too, and loved napping the day away with you too. you had stopped crying about the breakup a long time ago; you knew that first loves were meant to fail. but if you thought about anton for too long or how warm he always felt you could feel a hole start to form in your chest. so you did your best to clear your thoughts and treated the weather outside and giselle’s music as white noise before drifting to sleep.
anton was in your dreams often. you thought it was always unfair how he occupied your mind so heavily he managed to infiltrate your subconscious and dreams. after the breakup it only got worse. sometimes you would dream about him curled up next to you, getting up from the bed just to come right back to you. he would always snuggle into you closely and pull you into his chest. you would dream about him being the little spoon, laughing at how your arms wrapped around his large frame. you would dream about him turning you around to make you the little spoon, bringing a warm hand to trace shapes over your stomach. the mind was an evil thing. there were times when you would wake up in the middle of the night thinking it was real, that anton had come back to you in the middle of the night. but the vacant space on your bed was still empty and cold when you opened your eyes.
although it was painful dreaming about anton when he was no longer in your life, you truthfully wouldn’t have it any other way. you loved dreaming about you two laying on beds of gold or in a meadow running around in the tall grass. the dreams were usually pure and shrouded in a deeper meaning that you couldn’t decipher. but sometimes the dreams were less innocent. this time when you dreamed about anton you dreamed of him above you and panting into your ear while his strong chest was pressed against yours. you could hear the faintest whisper of his voice in your ear and you could see his wet hair sticking to his forehead. you dreamed about anton’s hands holding your hips down and you leaving marks down his back while you took all of him, his dangling chain above your eyes. just as your lips were reaching towards his ear to say something your brain suddenly woke you up, making you shoot up in your bed. 
it felt like you woke up from a nightmare the way your body felt all clammy. your chest heaved and you shot a quick look to the empty side of your bed. moving so suddenly didn’t help either and you could feel a headache coming on as your eyes adjusted to the darkness in your room. 
after gaining some of your bearings you reached to your bedside table to check the time on your phone. it was eight in the evening. giselle hadn’t stopped mixing her songs, music still coming from her room. you sighed and stretched, not sure how you felt about sleeping the whole day away. 
following the aftershocks of your dreams, it was impossible to not think about anton. you regretfully think about him, if he is sleeping right now or if he dreams of you the same way you dream of him. he’s only a phone call or a twenty minute walk in the rain away. you decide against it, the thought of not getting a response scares you away from your phone.
you get out of bed and stretch your limbs again, you can’t deny that the rest was much needed. maybe you would watch something and eat until you got tired again. it would give you time to process your dream, maybe if you thought about it enough you could have another one like that again. 
as you round the corner of you room to go into the kitchen you stop dead in your tracks.
you know it’s anton before he turns around. after spending so much time with him, you could probably identify him from his hair, or his voice. you see one of the most obvious of anton’s traits—his broad back that is covered with one of your towels. even if something covers his back you can tell it’s him by muscle memory, something you’re sure will never leave you. but you also know it’s him because who else would be sitting at your kitchen island this late at night. you still can’t control the shock in your voice as you call out his name.
“anton?” you say.
he turns around quickly to face you and his eyes go wide. anton has always been so expressive, every emotion shows on his face in an instant. he gets up from his chair like a reflex but he says nothing, just looking at you from across the room.
“what are you doing here?” you ask. 
anton still looks at you without saying anything. it’s like your speech is delayed getting to anton, because it takes him almost five seconds before he swallows to answer your question. during the time it takes for him to speak you see a bouquet of the flowers you like laying on the kitchen island.
“i was riding my bike and i was coming to get the rest of my stuff but i got caught in the rain,” anton swallows again. “giselle let me in.”
anton points to your roommates closed door. it would makes sense that giselle would hear him, she must’ve stayed awake the whole day. music still plays in her room as you turn back to anton.
you are both met with more silence. you know that you should probably kick him out, or scold him for showing up at his ex girlfriends house unannounced. it’s hard to be mad at anton because he used to show up like this when you two were just friends, popping in just to hang out. and you do remember that you both promised the other that nothing would change if you two broke up. it was a lie then and you knew it. you wondered if anton knew it too. you could assume he did by the clenching knuckles at his side, or how he cleared his throat awkwardly.
“i tried to get home i really did but—” anton said.
now it was time for you to clear your throat and reach a hand out to him.
“no i prefer you stay here until the storm dies down.” you say.
you have to force yourself to remember that this isn’t a dream, that anton is real and standing in your kitchen. you want to be a good host and offer him food or ask him if he’s okay but all the words are caught in your throat. instead you gesture to the living room, showing anton it’s okay to step into your apartment further.
you’re sure that his ears tucked into his beanie turn red as he walks over you. he’s slow with his steps, like you’ll change your mind at any moment. you can still hear giselle music coming from her room as you go to sit on the couch.
when anton comes to the opposite end, his eyes find yours. he’s looking to you the whole time, waiting for you to give him the permission to be close to you. anton has always been too nice for his own good, letting you make all the moves and initiatives in the relationship. so he waits for you to nod at him before sitting down on the couch too.
you focus on the sound of rain and giselle’s house music as you look to anton. he looks the same except for his hair that has gotten a little longer. the necklace you got him for his birthday is still around his neck, rested on his chest. you tried not to look at the pendant too hard, because then your eyes would wander to the black shirt that clung to his chest. your mind flashes back to the dream you had of and you have to lightly shake your head to get rid of the image.
“how are things?” he ask you.
you hate that this is what your relationship with anton has come to. he used to be the person you were must comfortable around but now he sits on the opposite end of your couch asking you questions you both know the answer to.
“things are good.” you say. 
you think about telling him everything would be better if you guys got back together. you hold it back by picking at the hem of your shorts.
“what about you?” you ask. 
you can barely bring yourself to look at anton. you see that he isn’t looking at you either, his eyes focused on your hand that is holding the bottom of your pants. when you move your hand, his eyes stay there as he says nothing.
“i miss you.” anton says. “so much.”
you can feel the couch give underneath anton’s weight as he comes closer to you. the couch dips from you, almost causing your body to lean into anton’s. he bends down to be in your line of sight. you’re forced to look into his large brown eyes as he looks for something in your eyes.
“you miss me too, right?” anton says.
his hands reach for yours and you let him grab them. he squeezes his hands in your palms and you still have to remind yourself this isn’t a dream. anton continues to look at your face while massaging your hands. it keeps you there with him and you know he knows the answer to the question.
“we aren’t together anymore anton.” you whisper.
you know you should pull your hands away, maybe even tell him to leave your apartment. but you can’t bring yourself to do anything to him while he looks at you like that.
“that doesn’t matter. do you even remember why we broke up?” anton asks.
you shake your head; you truthfully can’t remember. you’re sure it was something stupid, something that easily could be fixed. you both were clumsy throughout the whole relationship, so confused why everything felt so different from when you were friends. maybe you two got tired of stumbling through the motions of everything and called it off. but the way anton looks at you makes you want to take everything back and make you try again.
“i want to try again.” anton says.
he shakes your hands slightly to really give emphasis to his words. maybe you keep dreaming about him because you should try again, maybe that’s what your subconscious has been telling you.
“i’ll have to think about it.” you say while nodding slightly.
anton responds to you by smiling. you can’t help but smile too, and you can feel tears that threaten to fall from all the emotions going through you. you can’t stop yourself from bringing anton in for a hug. he pauses only for a second before hugging you back twice as hard. you are happy you’re able to stop yourself from sobbing onto anton’s shirt, but you almost lose it when he rubs up and down your back gently. you go deeper into the crook of his neck and he holds you a little tighter.
“i came in the rain on my bike to be all romantic with flowers but you were knocked out.” anton says into your shoulder.
you start laughing loudly, the image of anton peddling on his dingy little bike through torrential rain. anton finds it funny too, he starts laughing as he goes into the details of him almost driving into a ditch while trying to get to you.
you know you’re both laughing too hard when you hear the music in giselle’s room shut off. you realize that she is basically at her job right now, and you and your ex ex-boyfriend are disturbing her. so you get up from the couch and motion for anton to follow you. he gets up from the couch and rubs his palms on the front of his pants. suddenly he’s the shy anton again, so different from the bold anton that told you he wants to get back together.
anton follows you into your room and you close the door behind him. you don’t move again until you hear giselle’s music turn back on.
you laid down on the bed first. anton stayed in front of your closed door, looking at the you laying on the bed. you can make out his figure even in the darkness of your room, broad and almost as tall as your doorframe. even in your dreams anton doesn’t look this good. you don’t beat away the image of him above with a stick this time, instead you welcome them with open arms as you tap the empty space on your bed.
you watch anton come over to the bed, stopping so he can take off his beanie and jewelry to set on your dresser. it’s just like old times, hearing the familiar sound of his rings landing on the ceramic dish. you wonder if he’ll take off his shirt too. he keeps it on as he lays on the opposite side of your bed.
he didn’t dare to move any closer to you, staying on the other end. you wish you could fold the covers and bring him closer to you, or have anton pull you into his chest like he always did when he spent the night. he was too nice to do move any further, and you realized that nothing would happen if you didn’t make a move first. so you swallowed whatever was holding you back and let your hand glide across the cold sheets towards anton. he turned towards you almost immediately and his hand grabbed your bicep.
anton first lightly tugged your body towards him twice. it was gentle and inviting like he always was. you scooted your body to anton’s, moving only a little across the sheets that separated you two. anton then exerted some of his strength o pull you the rest of the way, wrapping his other arm around your body to bring you into his chest. you laughed at how fast he pulled you across the covers as he tucked your head underneath his chin. he brought his hand that was on your arm to the back of your head—it had been too long since anton surrounded you like this. you nuzzled into his neck and sighed contently. 
“we should probably move slow” he said. you could hear the smile on his face.
you hummed in agreement but then moved closer into him. he wrapped his arms tighter around you before kissing your cheek. it was quick and light before anton tucked your head underneath his chin again. you weren’t shocked by the kiss, you were actually beaming at the feeling of his lips on your skin again.
you weren’t sure when you fell back asleep, but it was hard to not doze off with anton like a weighted blanket on you. you could feel the rise and fall of his chest against yours, and hear his quick heartbeat slow down overtime. it was an inexplicable comfort having him behind you and to feel his arms wrapped around your frame.
you didn’t wake up again until well after midnight. the rain still fell and the wind still blew harshly. you woke up in anton’s amrs, curled into his chest to be the little spoon. you had turned at some point during the night, and anton’s hand rested on your stomach to gently trace shapes on your exposed skin. you don’t know how it was possible to miss someone so much. 
you turned your body to face anton’s. you found that he was already awake, looking into your eyes with the same look you dreamed about. you closed your eyes as he placed a wet kiss on your cheek. his eyes are still bleary, you imagine he must have woken up around the same time you did. you brush some of his hair out of his face and let him leave a wet kiss on your lips.
“what time is it?” you ask.
“not sure. has to be pretty late though.” he says.
anton sounds distracted as he talks to you. his eyes are on your lips as he puts a hand behind your back so your body arches into him. you can feel how broad and solid anton’s chest is underneath the thin material of his shirt. you lean more into him and instinctively wrap your leg over his to bring him closer. you wrap your arms around his back to press your palms flat on his shoulders. 
“i thought you wanted to move slow?” anton says. 
he places another wet kiss to your lips before pulling back. you missed the smirk he got on his face when he knew you wanted it. it made you bashful, heat spawning from the places his body touched yours. it blossomed from the small of your back and spread to your finger tips that pressed against anton’s back. the feeling made you lock your leg in place, bringing anton even closer to you.
“we can move slow tomorrow.” you say hastily.
anton comes back to your lips, and you waste no time pushing your tongue into his mouth. anton must be just as desperate as you are the way he lifts you up like you weigh nothing. he almost crushed you in his arms, you have to tap on his shoulder to remind him of his strength.
“sorry.” anton whispers after pulling away from your lips.
his lips are plump and glossy, you run your tongue over yours to try and taste what’s left of him on your skin. you missed kissing his lips until they were red and a little swollen and the way he’d gather you up in your arms when you two made out. you try to get on top of anton but he uses a hand to keep you in place. you let out a little whine at not being able to move, you wanted to show anton how much you really missed him.
anton sits up on your bed to pull his shirt off. he does it with one hand and while he is busy taking off his pants you start to take off your own. as you lift your hips to take off your pants anton stops suddenly.
“wait. don’t move.” he says shyly.
you listen to his weird request, not moving while anton takes off his pants. 
when his pants hit the floor anton guides your body to sit up. you do as he says, eyeing him to see what his plan is with you.
“put your arms up.” anton tells you.
his sweet and quiet voice betrays the authoritative words. you listen to him regardless, filling to the brim with excitement of anton telling you what to do.
you lift your arms as anton pulls up your shirt. he does all the work even guiding your arms through the opening of your shirt. anton looks up at you from your collarbone, placing a wet kiss on the taut skin as his hands go to your bra strap. you nod and anton brings both of his hands to your back to unclasp your bra. he is gentle releasing your chest from its confines, his big hands covering the area of your breasts. 
no matter how many times anton sees your breasts, his breath is taken away each time. he kneads your doughy skin, lightly gripping a boob to place a kiss directly on the areola. anton missed your content sighs and breathless whimpers when he does things to you. he missed seeing your face crease with pleasure, the way you prop yourself on your arms and lean your head back to feel everything. 
“i missed holding you.” he whispers.
anton can’t stop himself from taking a nipple into your mouth. you instantly arch your chest into his mouth, your free hand petting his head.
“i dreamed about this.” you whimper when anton goes to the other breast. 
anton guides your body back down to lay on the bed. you lay your head on the pillow, looking down at anton as he trails kisses down your body.
“should’ve called me.” anton says, smiling into your stomach.
you can’t bring yourself to tell him why you couldn’t, something stupid as pride keeping you from feeling pure bliss as anton takes your shorts off. he lifts your hips off the bed all on his own, any more you try to make anton puts a gentle hand on your stomach to keep you in place.
“let me show you how sorry i am.” anton says.
he looks at you with sincerity as he continues pressing kisses to your body. he works down one leg and works his way up the other, even kissing your feet earnestly. anton makes eye contact with you as he presses a kiss to your folds. the contact alone has you lifting your hips off of the bed, trying to chase after the kiss. anton puts a hand underneath your ass to lift your bottom off the bed. you bend your knees until your thighs lightly press against the sides of anton’s head. you are still reeling from the dream you had, you know you won’t last long. 
just from the kisses anton gives your pussy you’re lightheaded, gripping the sheets trying not to lose your composure too fast. it’s a lost cause when anton looks up at you again as his thumb starts rubbing your bundle of nerves.
“my little princess,” anton whispers. “you’re sensitive?”
you whimper in response and nod your head. anton sticks his thick middle finger inside of you, bending it once he’s inside all the way. you open your mouth in a silent moan, lifting your hips off the bed even more. anton places a kiss on your thigh.
“just lay there for me,” anton says. “i got you.”
“okay.” you whimper.
anton’s soft voice completely opposes his lewd actions. the way he takes his finger out of you to spread your folds apart. you can barely manage to look down at him as he makes work of your heat, on his hands and knees to get closer inside of you. his nose bumps your clit as he eats you out, alternating between making out with your pussy and sticking his tongue in your slit.
“feels so good anton.” you whimpered. when he hums into your pussy your legs close in on him, locking him in place. “i missed you so much.”
anton starts eating you out with a new vigor. the sound of him slurping and placing sloppy kisses on your cunt fills the room. you can’t stop you hips from bucking into his mouth and anton welcomes it. he guides your legs to rest over his shoulder and sits up slightly on the bed. anton uses his strength to bring your lower half up with him. you can’t stop yourself from grind on anton’s tongue while his arm behind your ass supports your weight. his free hand reaches out to yours and you let go of your hold on the sheets to grip his hand. you are moaning loudly, watching anton watch you. 
he is entranced by your tiny cries and the way your heels dig into his back. you look so beautiful like this, not having to do any of the work to get to your peak. anton loves the way you grip his hand with all of your strength. he wants to take a picture of this moment to remember it forever. he wishes he could take a video to immortalize your whiny voice.
“i’m close.” you say.
you turned your head from the bed to look at anton. he goes back to tongue kissing your slit, purposely using his nose to bump your bundle of nerves. this way he can stimulate you adn you can take up all of his five senses.
he loves the way you smell, the way your whole body tenses when you cum unannounced. anton thinks it must’ve hit you like a freight trin the way. you cried out his name and squeezed his head between your thighs. sound is lightly muffled through your plush skin, but he can hear you loud and clear. you will definitely have to apologize to giselle in the morning.
anton takes all of your slick, slurping and getting so messy to the point. that he can feel the dribble of spit mixed with your slick come down his chin. you body turns to jelly in his grasp, your legs becoming pliable. anton comes back down to the bed and guides your ass down slowly. 
your legs are flimsy and your knees unbend themselves, sliding down the covers of your bed. anton goes back on his haunches slotted between your legs, looking at you laid out for him like a five course meal.
anton is starving when he licks his lips, the glossy sheen of you still evident on his face. the intensity that he looks at you with has you squirming, and you can feel your body getting ready for a second round. you try sitting up, to grab anton’s hard member that bobs in the darkness of your room but a hand stops you.
anton keeps you down, but you can’t stop yourself from looking at him. the hand that pushed your shoulder back down goes to your slit, gathering slick from your orgasm. anton using the wetness to jerk himself off. you are enthralled by the sight, the way anton’s hair covers his eyes but you can still feel his hard gaze. his breath comes out in huffs as he picks up the speed and muscles underneath his taut skin move in tandem with his hand. his body looks so large from this angle, the way looks down at you while beating his dick. you don’t know how much control anton wants tonight, but you can’t stop yourself from using a hand to grip your breast.
anton increasing the pace tells you that he likes it. your massage the supple skin the same way anton does, the same way he does it to you in your dreams. it’s the real deal when he leans his body over, his hand falling beside your head. 
he still beats his dick while he’s above you. his chain jumps from the inertia of the action and you can’t choose between looking at anton or his necklace.
“what do you dream about?” anton murmurs.
“us running around together in a meadow.” you say truthfully.
“what else?” anton asks.
his hand thaat was jerking himself off went back to your clit. he puts two fingers in, making you listen to the low squelching sound of your arousal already coming back. 
“i dream about you fucking me, too.” you say.
that’s all anton needs to hear before guiding his dick to your heat. he goes down to his elbow beside your head and in one swift motion you bring your hands to his back and wrap your legs around his waist.
anton is just as big as you remember. you have never felt this full before, your walls clamping around him before he can bottom out. anton loses some of his strength at the way you’re already milking him. his large sweaty frame presses against your chest and you welcome it. your breasts are squished against him, both of you moaning in ecstasy.
“i missed you so much.” anton says into the skin of your neck. 
you can practically feel his face heating up and you can imagine his flushed face as he gives you another slow thrust. you think you’re close again already. when anton gives you a deep thrust your nails dig into the expanse of his back.
“i missed you too.” you say.
anton focuses on hitting you deep and slow. he hits the spot in the back of you that you both discovered together—the spot that leaves you clenching and anton twitching inside of you.
“just like this?” anton says, hitting the same spot again.
“just like that.” you whine.
anton spends time hitting that spot over and over again. he kisses any part of your body his lips can reach before turning your head to give you a kiss on the lips. 
his other hand hold your hips done. his strength brings you pain, the type you revel in. you let anton forget his own strength as he continues to fuck you into the mattress, his slow and hard thrust making you bed creak rhythmically.
you can feel anton getting close to his peak, feeling him get closer has you hurtling towards the edge as well. you move one hand from his back to grip his arm, your nails digging into the flexed muscle. something about seeing someone so big and strong fall apart above you has you clenching uncontrollably around anton’s dick.
you break apart from anton’s lips to look down between the middle of your squished bodies. anton does the same, lifting his body so you can see where you two meet. you rest your sweaty foreheads against eachother to watch the show.
“i’m close.” anton whimpers.
“me too.” you say back.
“where can i—” anton’s voice is broken up by pleasure, trying to keep it together for as long as possible.
“inside me. please.”
“alright baby.” anton says.
he brings his chest back down to yours, and he brings an arm underneath your body to bring you close. you’re surrounded by him, nails rake down anton’s back as he picks up the speed.
anton whimpers your name into your ear before pulling back to look you in the eyes. he curses from your blown out pupils and the way your walls close in around him. anton grips your shoulder as he spills into you. you milk him dry, the sensation of him throbbing pushes you off the edge again. you pushed off into anton’s arms as your legs around his waist pulls him in. you grind into him when his hips still, loving the sound of anton inside of you. he whines and laughs a little from the overstimulation, his whole body sensitive. 
you still move you hips until anton pulls out of you. you can feel his cum dripping from you and you fight the urge to push it back in. anton’s large body loses its strength above you, pressing your body into the mattress. he catches his breath in the crook of your neck, hot puffs of air fanning your skin. 
you let anton’s large body crush you a little more. you missed him so much you would risk the suffocation. when anton’s breath finally steadies, you tap his back. anton understands immediately, picking his head up from your neck.
“oh my god i’m sorry.” anton says.
he slides off of you to lay beside you on the bed. you waste no time turning to him. now you’re the one tracing shapes on his chest. anton turns to you and smiles. 
the rain outside is almost as comforting as the feeling of anton pulling you back into him. you doze off to sleep again, this time knowing you’ll be waking up to anton next to you.
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hai7ani · 7 months
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THE MEADOW haitani rindou
sfw, hurt/comfort, an extra to the home collection 𖠋
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"Mama, a boy or a girl?"
A tiny voice speaks and you're woken up from your little daydream.
Your daughter's gentle voice bounces off the wall of her quiet yet peaceful bedroom. The loud ringing in your ears are put on pause and blood stops rushing to your head -- you feel as if you're sucked back into reality. It disrupts you from the mindless, ruthless picking of the skin around your thumb that's starting to bleed and all of a sudden you're back in the present again -- a wife and a mother, sitting in her daughter's bedroom on a Tuesday night with the sole mission of checking in on her.
Wide, glossy purple eyes that so mimics the man she calls her father and he whom you call your lover, stares up at you from your chest and you smile a little at her expression.
"Dunno yet, 'Kiya. It's still early to know." You reach a gentle hand up to brush her bangs backward and reveal her forehead. You lean down to press little kisses on her tofu-like skin -- two smooches and three pecks -- and she pouts at your reply that has refuted the answer she's wanted to hear. "Mama, Sakiya wanna know now."
"A little longer, 'kay?" You pull away from her head to run a thumb over her temple. She gives slow blinks at your gentleness -- you know it has always succeeded in making her sleepy. But Sakiya seems to know of your little trick, so she leans back, away from your thumb, straightens her spine up a little, and she hums in defeat. But your baby still giggles a little when larger hands of yours move to tickle her sides gently -- an attempt to distract her from making a fuss.
She doesn't, and instead, your baby decides to rest her head back down on your mounds with small arms tightening around your frame and your nose sours a little at her gesture -- it reddens, and suddenly you're reminded again of her father.
And then you hear soft padding behind you both. You don't need to turn around to know who it is, and Rindou plops down beside you both on the floor -- he's still in his work clothes, most probably still working on some leftover paperwork he's decided to bring home with him tonight.
No doubt he's been standing there the entire time. You sort of knew he was there the moment he had decided to eavesdrop on the two of you -- the cologne that was sprayed onto his work clothes selling him out -- instead of coming in to say what he's wanted to say.
What more can he say, anyway?
You can feel his deject before he even opens his mouth, and he doesn't -- Rindou doesn't say a thing and he sits there while relishing in whatever he is currently feeling. Perhaps it is guilt. You don't know at this point, you don't want to assume -- not after the tone he's chosen to pick up with you earlier after coming home in what seemed to be annoyance. Not at you -- at his coworkers. You know that much, but you seemed to have received the end of it. It didn't feel nice -- it made you feel like nothing despite the way he still finds it in him to put away your laundry back in the closet after passing by the couch.
Sakiya doesn't acknowledge his presence outrightly. You don't look at him.
He sighs.
You hear a small clatter against the parquet, and your eyes move to take a quick glance. Your heart stops beating in your chest for a long minute, but you don't make it known.
You've half-expected him to see it -- it's placed in such an obvious place, he'd be an awful fucking husband to not notice. But you did not expect him to bring it to you; to look at you after with so much emotion held that almost makes you want to give in and cry when you peep at his eyes.
The pregnancy test looks so small in between the three of you on the floor compared to how big it seemed when it sat in the safety of your palms back in the morning -- shaky hands belonging to you who was alone, unsure of what to do, with no husband to yell for, and a girl eating sliced kiwi by the breakfast table who is still so young that you don't know what to tell her -- if you should be telling her this soon in your pregnancy that is still yet to be confirmed by a doctor.
But she finds out anyway. Sakiya has always been a smart girl. A gifted one too -- many would say.
And she suddenly tugs on the strap of your nightgown.
So you decide to ignore. You ignore him.
You continue indulging in Sakiya's little blabbers of telling her more about babies and you kiss her cheek after every sentence that you speak. You try to keep it as simple as possible -- that Mama and Daddy fell in love, had her together.
And you think your baby is so sweet when she flashes a toothy grin and soft almond eyes fold into thin crescents at the mention of you and her father -- she's always loved listening to the stories that you and Rindou tell her about the past; your youths, your memories that are still so vivid when playing in both your heads, your love for each other that had eventually blossomed into a little girl named Sakiya . . .
And Rindou's heart cracks a little more underneath those ribs and bones when you still don't acknowledge him, even though he is sitting just there -- right beside you -- and holding his pointer out to which Sakiya had immediately wrapped her little hand around it after seeing.
You aren't looking at him but he knows you are so much more than upset -- you are heartbroken -- and he notices how you try so hard to look at everything but him (you want to look at him), choosing to play with your daughter's hair and nosing at her chubby cheeks instead. He sees the little quiver of your lips that grows a little more rigid when Sakiya turns to him and asks if he knows -- because his eyes has never once left you the moment he'd entered the room.
"Did you know, Daddy? A baby in Mama's belly, again."
He didn't.
Rindou had only found out that you were pregnant again just ten minutes ago when he'd entered the bathroom after finally finishing his paperwork. He pushes the door open, and the first thing that meets his eyes is the white pregnancy stick on the counter with two bold red lines slapping him in the face after he moves closer to take a look.
And his heart drops to his chest.
It all connects, and Rindou leans back against the wooden door with a soft thud, a towel bunched up and sits messily on one folded arm as he holds the test with both hands carefully and thinks about all that he's done.
Because Rindou had been mean to you earlier -- you were clearly trying to tell him something from the way you've been attempting to drag him off to where Sakiya couldn't hear, and he'd brushed you off.
You tried talking to him when he finally came home after work -- smiling ear to ear when you greeted him at the front door and kissing his collarbone as a silent yet intimate welcome home.
Welcome home to us.
And you say while scratching at your scalp that you've just finished cooking dinner -- if he wanted to eat first or to shower first -- while throwing in a remark that you need a shower too, maybe we can talk in the bath. He tells you he isn't feeling that hungry despite the message being sent to you earlier -- asking if you could cook some curry because he has been craving for it lately -- and you nod when he walks away despite feeling a little weird from his sudden change in behaviour because Rindou seldom ever comes home like this, moody and . . . curt.
So you follow behind after making sure that Sakiya is entertained with her TV show that you say in brief and short sentences about you and your daughter's day. You know he is always overwhelmed and tired after work -- you don't want to bombard him with too much information, so you keep it short and simple.
It's a habit how you decide to shift your attention away from your husband who is putting away your laundry in the closet and instead, fidgeting with a pile of his clothes that's yet to be hung up. You figure it's because you're nervous of telling him about the news, so you're finding ways to distract yourself while making the atmosphere less tense and Rindou sighs a little too loudly when you pause to hear his reply to your genuine question.
"Did you finish the bento today? Was the shimeji nice? I got up earlier to make it because it takes longer to cook."
He turns to you and purses his lips before laying a hand flat out with his palm facing the sky, and you stare at it. You blink a few times, unsure of what is it that he wants, so you figure to place your own in his with a cheeky smile. A tease is about to fall out of your mouth until he sighs again.
Rindou clicks his tongue, "the clothes." A deep frown forms on his forehead while he stares at the pile of fabric in your hands, and under the intense atmosphere that he's planted in the room, you're feeling warm everywhere. Not the kind of warmth that makes you all giddy on the inside though, but the one that sends a hurtful pang to your chest and you're forced to hand him the clothes when he snatches it out of your grip.
Why is he being like this?
You grow awkward when he doesn't say anything further after turning his back to you. And you must've been a fool -- a fool to not realise his growing agitation, when you open your mouth to tell him you'll be getting dinner ready.
You should've left. You should've just left him and his stupid attitude in there to get as mad as he wants. You should've went back to Sakiya and helped her in changing the channels -- your baby was calling for you and her father both. You realise then that he hadn't given Sakiya her forehead kiss that she looks forward to everyday.
But a loose thread from presumably one of his clothes swirls around in the air and ultimately, it finds its place on Rindou's hair.
So you don't leave. You and your stupid heart don't.
"Baby, I'll scoop rice. Come eat when it's still warm." You inch closer to pick away the white thread. You're only millimetres away from it -- it is so close to your fingertips. You'll pick away the thread and then leave him alone -- but Rindou turns back around before you're able to do anything.
It was all so sudden. You hadn't expected it. You never saw it coming.
And it seems that your sudden closeness to him had agitated him further.
"Fuck,"
You wanted to end the conversation.
"Can you stop talking?"
He thought you were going to speak more.
And that, with an angry, dark glare, paired with a very deep frown that you don't think you've ever saw this look of absolute anger and annoyance being directed at you before, is enough to make you step back, all silent.
"I'm tired. And you keep on talking. Can you do it later or something?" He spits, words a little mumbly but with a hurtful tut to it. You know he is never one to raise his voice at you or his daughter no matter the situation, especially now that Sakiya is here with newfound emotions that she's still yet to feel and learn how to regulate, but he did it today, and he clicks his tongue another time before swiftly resuming to his task at hand.
So the laundry was a means to ease his mind off things.
But you can see the slight falter of his demeanour when he turns around again -- not fully, just enough for him to look at you, to see the hurt in your eyes as you look at the floor, and upon feeling his attention, you lift your chin up to stare back at him. You gaze into his eyes that once held so much anger and annoyance in them -- it is now full of guilt and shame. Perhaps he is sorry for raising his voice at you, he is sorry for cussing at you, but he doesn't say a thing, and he turns his back to you again.
Though Rindou didn't outrightly yell at you, it doesn't mean that it hurt any less than having someone do it. You think it hurt more than that.
Your hand rests by your side, fingers twitching as you feel sweat gather in your palms.
The pain in your heart is suffocating.
You turn your back and close the door with a loud pang. It was a fury of thought, and it scared Sakiya. You immediately regret the action upon seeing the shock in her eyes, the stutter in her breath as she tries hard to regain her peace. "Sorry, baby. Mama's sorry." You apologise with a shaky voice while carrying her up from the couch and towards the kitchen. She nuzzles her nose in your neck with wide eyes after feeling your comfort while looking back at the door to your bedroom, where Rindou is not present.
He hadn't followed you out. He still hasn't tried to apologise.
So you don't talk to him the entire evening -- not even when Sakiya was tugging on the end of your shirt gently and asking if Daddy wants to eat dinner too through a mouth full of rice and curry. You'd simply wiped away the excess off the corner of her lips and adjusted her napkin hanging on her neck, "Daddy will eat later. We'll eat first."
And it's when you figure that you're done for the day and headed into your daughter's bedroom to check on her and give her some affirmations that Rindou finally heads into the shower and notices the stick on the counter.
It was a slap to reality. He hadn't realised until then that he was being unfair to you earlier -- those mean words and the ugly expression he's given you, it makes him want to punch himself for making you feel so unwanted, because he's always the one who tells you to keep talking, and listens closely as you do. Rindou had promised not to bring work and its emotions back home, and now he's gone and done this. He's gone and hurt you.
He broke your heart.
He'd stared at the stick for quite a long time, with vibrating eyes deciding to take a quick glance at the bin just beneath the counter -- filled with boxes and boxes of pregnancy test kits and they all have the same results.
You are pregnant again, and he sure is a big fool for not noticing it earlier -- how you've been starting to crave the same things you wanted when you were carrying Sakiya, how you've started to speak less as to not get emotional because he knows your sensitivity must be heightened and everything would seem sad to you, how you've been feeling more and more tired lately because of your hormonal change . . .
And he also knows that you aren't ready for a second child -- you'd said it to him one night before falling asleep that even though it's already been 4 years since you've given birth to Sakiya, you don't think your body is ready for another baby yet. The trauma, the pain, the healing for both mentally and physically, it is all too much for you to handle, and he understands. Your recovery process was rough and his heart hurts when reminded of the days you'd cry in his arms that you don't think you're cut out for this -- for being a mother. Baby blues had hit you hard and it'd took a long time for it to wear off on you. And yet he thinks that here you are, being the best mother one can ever ask for.
You've not made any plans together for a second child either, and though it may sound a little harsh and mean, but Rindou doesn't think he is suitable to be a father of two. Sure, his baby is well-behaved, but there are still days where Sakiya herself can be a little bit too much to handle -- she is still a toddler after all.
So to add in another in the family? Rindou is not sure if he can handle it.
His train of thought gets disrupted when Sakiya curiously shakes his hand a little. He gets pulled back to the present again with the motion, and finds that she's staring at him with wide eyes that mirrors his own. She's waiting for an answer. He brings her hand up to place a kiss on the back of her palm before rubbing gentle circles at it.
His gaze focuses back at you before choosing his words -- you're staring at the parquet while playing with a loose thread on Sakiya's Hello Kitty onesie that you got for her a few winters ago. She still fits in it, surprisingly, and it sure is her favourite one to wear to bed while her father pats her back to sleep and you're beside to run a palm over her hair.
"I didn't. Just found out." He decides to tell his daughter honestly. You bite at your lip to stop the quiver, the sadness in you growing tenfold when it finally sinks it after his words -- that this is how Rindou finds out about it. You wanted to be the one to break it to him. You wanted to be there to see the initial look of shock on his face when he realises. But that wasn't how it went, and instead, the reveal of your new happiness growing in your belly was found out by its parents separately, both alone, along with emotions of anger mixed in with a little fear.
This isn't how it should be. I'm sorry.
An endearing giggle breaks you both out of your minds with Sakiya shaking her father's hand and tugging at your dress at the same time. She's so happy at her father's response. "Sakiya found out before Daddy, Mama." She turns her head at you, laughing.
That alone is enough to have you crumble. And you start to weep when Rindou leans forward to rest his forehead on your shoulder. He then presses his cheek to your arm, scrunching his nose playfully at his daughter who is finding joy in pinching her father's cheek, while a hand of his snakes around your frame to find solace on your waist. It moves up and down, slowly, warmly, and he moves closer and closer until he's fully hugging you now. Despite the previous anger and sadness, you still let him do it though, and you too fight the urge to lean back against his chest and cry.
You instinctively hug your daughter close to your chest and press your face in her neck. She is so much more smaller than you are, but you don't think you have felt so safe holding someone in your arms. There is your husband, but he's been feeling a little distant lately.
Sakiya wraps herself around your neck a little tighter at your sudden movements -- as though she had sensed something was wrong, and something is wrong. "Mama." She calls out softly as a habit and you hum, albeit a little broken and hoarse, but she knows that you've responded to her -- she knows that you're here with her -- and it is all that matters.
His chest tightens when you fix yourself quickly -- a little sniffle, a wipe to your eyes, and you choose to push away your emotions. You are still avoiding him -- his eyes -- choosing to focus on your 4 year old who is babbling mindlessly into your chest instead and you're grinning brightly when she tries speaking in English. She's started picking up the language from you, perhaps by listening in on a few of the conversations you'd have with Rindou on the dinner table in a foreign language still not taught to her yet because there are things you don't want her to hear, to know. Bills, taxes, the car loan, are we getting groceries on Saturday or Sunday? Baby's birthday is coming up, do you have any ideas on what to do?
Rindou's moved so close to the point he has his chin on one of your shoulders with both hands securing around you and Sakiya as he listens to the two of you converse, with you trying so hard to avoid his steady breath as it fans over the expanse of your skin. It's so tempting, but you stand your ground.
Sakiya then spurs out a little something cheerfully -- you don't know the word she's trying to say, but it is cute and lovely to hear her try and you pat her butt with another soft kiss to her forehead.
And for a split second Rindou thought he'd seen you in your arms -- your face in your arms -- because despite what you and so many other people tell him, he thinks that Sakiya looks much more like you than she looks like him -- she's got your smile, your chin, your hair, your grace, your silliness . . .
Yet she also looks so much like him, and he finds his fleeting mind wandering further and further whenever Sakiya would sit on his lap and look straight into his eyes with a big, toothy smile. It is as though he is staring into a mirror -- at a reflection of himself, and through her eyes he sees so many things, like the young boy from Roppongi who is still so little with so many high hopes to so many new things in life, and always, the one thing that stands out the most is love: a warmth that has a bit of a red and orangey tinge to it when she hugs him as he carries her around, the flower of her father's name that she scribbles with coloured crayons on A4 papers daily to practice her 4 year old handwriting, and she's calling for you to come look at this 'new' scar on Daddy's eyebrow that has actually been there for the past 20 years.
He'd smile a little at the vision -- he doesn't think it's weird. Of course he'd see love in her.
Because Sakiya is love. It is evident with the times she'd randomly high five strangers in public, in restaurants with other kids her age, in daycare where she's almost friends with everybody her age due to her cheerfulness, and especially the times she'd sleep in your bed -- squeezed and coddled between the both of you -- with small arms still holding onto the bunny her father got her when she was still a newborn. She refuses to let you wash it too.
A total contrast of her father, and yet she's so much like him.
"Baby, you look so much like your Daddy." He hears you whisper to your daughter who is grinning widely in your arms with both little hands now covering yours that cups her cheeks. It makes him start chewing off the skin on his bottom hip when he sees the soft look in your eyes as you point out the similarities of him and your daughter. He was so mean to you earlier; mean for no damn reason at all, and his guilt starts eating him alive when Sakiya lulls her head to the side with eyes that are about to close.
"Mama, dodo." "Dodo? Okay."
You start moving at it, and Rindou watches with a careful yet loving gaze hidden behind half-lidded eyes as you carefully manoeuvre her body properly into your arms and stand up. He notices that you're avoiding your lower abdomen a lot, and despite being sleepy, Sakiya is also careful when positioning her little legs -- he figures that you've already briefed her a little by yourself on what not to do now that you're pregnant and your body is a little more vulnerable than usual.
A part of him screams for him to do it instead -- to stand up and put Sakiya to bed instead of letting you who is in a much more vulnerable state to do so.
And the other part of him doesn't let himself move to put your daughter to sleep despite it being something that he always does -- he is always away during the day for work, so you let him have a little space for himself to spend some time with his daughter alone at night. The sick part of him wants his eyes to admire the pretty outline of your body -- your alluring back, the way your neck looks when faced under the moonlight from the curtains that you leave open just a little because Sakiya doesn't like the dark a lot, your bottom that he loves touching at so much but he resists his itchy hands for now.
You're cradling your daughter warmly as you bounce her gently in order to coo her into sleep faster and his mind travels back to the times when Sakiya was still a newborn -- all those sleepless nights of waking up abruptly at 3 in the morning to her cries, and you'd shush her gently with a kiss before pulling up the top of whatever you're wearing to breastfeed and pat her back to sleep with tired yawns and droopy eyelids.
Caring for babies were still new to the two of you and yet Rindou would always stay up with you while rubbing your sore back despite being told to go back to sleep because you can handle it. He remembers vividly the way you've always looked like an angel when cradling your newborn in your arms as you hum a soft lullaby that Granny had always sung to you when you were still her age.
And Rindou thinks you look so pretty when your nightgown sways a little with you as you bounce and rock your baby in your arms, humming the same lullaby to her ear as she finally falls asleep.
His wife, the mother of his children. His lover -- you.
"Goodnight, 'Kiya." You kiss her forehead before placing her back in her crib and she hums tiredly. "Night night, Mama."
Sakiya doesn't say it to Rindou. He feels a little hurt, but eventually accepts that he deserves his daughter's neglect tonight to have treated you in such a way. You pick up your things in one hand and move to exit the room, so he quickly reaches down the crib to place a kiss on Sakiya's forehead while rubbing a few slow circles on her temple, to which she starts snoring gently at it.
And he follows silently behind you as you head back into your bedroom and sit by the dresser. He doesn't dare enter; he doesn't want to overwhelm you. So he stands by the entrance and watch as you take off your earrings, dump it into a container and untie your hair. He watches as you comb through the locks and put on some oil, as you pat down your dress and crawl into bed. He watches intently as you avoid laying on your stomach, you're careful when manoeuvring yourself under the sheets and he watches as you get comfortable and lay on your back with a huff.
Youdon't talk to him, and you turn off the lamp.
He walks, and he switches it back on.
You feel the dip of the mattress and open your eyes.
"Hey." Rindou finally says as he sits by your leg and sigh. You don't feel like talking to him, but you want to look at him -- so you do. You watch him hold the stick in one hand and the other rubs softly on your ankle.
"Can we talk?" You blink tiredly at his request and he moves down to rest his head on your lap. He's peering up at you now, eyes staring so intently into yours that you choose to look at his forehead instead. Somehow it felt a little scary to face his eyes, his intense stare, his pretty purples -- you're afraid you're going to see the same expression being directed at you again, but you see the little frown on forehead and your thumb itches to rub it over his skin.
You stop yourself after being reminded of where it got you both when you didn't leave it alone.
That sparked a small anger in you.
"You told me to shut up, and now you want to talk?" You're starting to feel a little petty, and you know it is passive aggressive -- not a good way to communicate after a fight -- but the anger is starting to take over your emotions and before you can stop it from taking its final form, you push his head away from your thigh gently.
"I'm sorry." Rindou sits back up in one swift motion, face full of his apology and you throw the blanket covering your legs away to the side with a huff. He's never one to apologise.
"Are you?" You scoff a little, "or are you only saying sorry after seeing that?" You jut your chin towards the stick in his hand and he sighs at the realisation of your thoughts, your brain, while furrowing his brows in the process of trying to get you to calm down just a little.
He's majorly fucked up.
"It's nothing like that, fuck." Rindou scoots closer to your body, panic evident in the way he moves and a warm hand covers your cheek. "Please, baby. Shit, it's not that at all." He pleads, thumb running over your eye bags and you close your eyes at it. You're frowning, you're angry, you're upset, you're tired -- it's everything all at once. Lips pouting, nose souring, and when you open your eyes up again you find a stray tear rolling down your cheek.
You feel so sad.
"Rindou." It's a desperate call, and you're sobbing fully now. Just five seconds was all it took for you to break down and cry and he panics a little when wobbly fingers peel his hand away from your skin. All the pent up emotions -- mostly of sadness and anxiety, finally breaking free from its facade and you choose to shuffle into his lap.
He is still in his work clothes, you're already showered and changed into your nightgown, but you don't care. Though he's upset you, all you want to do is to have him hold you and cry. He presses you close immediately and cups both of your cheeks, thumbs swiping away the many tears that follows.
You cry harder at it, because Rindou is the only one who can ever give you this much comfort, and yet he was also the same person who'd taken it away from you with just words and an ugly expression casted your way.
And you're honest when you say it to him.
"Baby, I can't do this if you're only in it for the children."
Rindou's world crumbles around him.
Sweat starts forming on his skin and he feels his cheeks burn stingily from your words. He is absolutely devastated when you said you can't do this -- do what? His breath stutters in his mouth as you sob silently and you cover your palms over your eyes to cover yourself from his. Overflowing tears escapes your hands as it rolls down the sides of your cheeks, and he finally processes your words then.
It's nothing like that.
"Baby," His eyeballs vibrates and blown out pupils flickers back and forth between you and the test kit in his hands. He needs to actually know what you're trying to say -- it can't be what he's thinking, right? He loves you and your daughter too much for anything bad to happen -- he knows he's fucked up. He didn't mean what he said to you earlier.
Please talk to me. Please. Don't stop talking.
"You're only making up to me because I'm pregnant, right? You want the baby. I know you do. All men wants them." You hiss through broken cries and his heart clenches at it -- like a chain filled with thorns and needles tightening around his flesh and it sends such a throbbing pain through his chest; but he knows that what you're feeling right now is ten times worse than that, and it is all because of him -- solely him and his major fuck up where the anger and frustration shouldn't be aimed at you at all. He should've never brought the work home with him -- it's done nothing but stress and weigh on his mind all evening.
"It's nothing like that." Rindou repeats his words and he attempts to kiss your cheek but you turn your head away from him; from the warmth that you crave so eagerly from him.
"How can I know? You were so mean to me earlier, I'm starting to think you don't want me anymore. Husbands don't talk to their wives like that."
You cry, you wail, your heart breaks in your chest even more, and he doesn't think there's anything he can do that can make up for it.
"I'm sorry." He slowly turns your head back to him. "Are you? Or are you only saying sorry just because you want me to stop crying?" You glare at him.
"I'n sorry, baby." Your cheek is to him, and he finally gets to kiss your fat now. One kiss and it's got him placing more and more on your skin. "So sorry." Again and again, as a way to display of his apologies that he's begging to your heart but you shake your head in denial with a pout.
"Men only stay with their wife for kids. They don't love them, they only want children." You spit with an angry sob.
Rindou knows it is your trauma speaking, and he doesn't blame you at all -- he knows the kind of father yours is, the kind of father his was, and hot tears spring to his waterline at the connection. He'd swore to himself to never become the men the two of them were, and now, he seems to be following in their footsteps . . .
Or perhaps Rindou is being a little too rough on himself -- because deep down he knows he is nothing like the men who have left a dark imprint on both your upbringings; that he is so much better than who they were in your lives -- a better man, a better person, a better father. And after releasing your anger it seems you also know that he is nothing like them too. So you cling to his neck and pull him closer to your body while placing wobbly kisses on his jawline as an apology for comparing him to them.
You're nothing like them. I'm sorry.
"I love you." Rindou whispers against your skin. It's heartwarming, the way he dips his head down to press his lips on your throat and squeeze at your hips until you're nothing but a wailing mess.
His heart cracks loudly in his chest. "I'm sorry. I was mean, I'm sorry. Didn't mean it, baby." And Rindou keeps on saying it again and again until your cries finally die down just a little and you start breathing properly again.
So much mucus in your nose and he pulls out a tissue from the nightstand for you to let it all out. It's messy -- your face is wet from tears, snot is still dribbling down your nose as he helps you to wipe them off with another clean sheet of tissue, and your lips are so red and quivery from the cry, the sadness.
There's still a hint of doubt in your eyes when he pulls away to take a good look at you. Rindou tries kissing it away, "love you, Mama." Your bottom lip juts out a little at it and he kisses on it softly, "love you." Rindou says it again and you knock your forehead against his cheekbone. It's a little gesture to show that you've acknowledged it, but you're going to need some time to say it back. Not now -- at least when you're finally okay enough to look him in the eyes again.
And it's when his vacant hand intertwines with your sticky ones that you finally ask him the question you've been wanting to this whole time.
". . . Are we keeping it?"
He's silent for a minute. A puzzled look on his face has fear running through your veins, afraid of what he's going to say.
But Rindou simply blinks down at your panic form instead.
"Why not?" He asks, warm hands running down your back, your neck, your cheek.
Rindou is truly confused by your question.
Relief washes over your body at his reply. You sigh into his chest, ". . . We haven't had plans for another." You state, and he picks away a torn, wet piece of tissue just beneath your eyes.
"Well, it's here." He fiddles with your strap next, fixing it in place. "And we're keeping it . . . right?" He looks at you while he asks it, wanting for your confirmation as well. He needs to be ensured that you want this just as much as he does. He's the one giving them surname, but you're the one giving them life -- a home -- with eyes to open to the world, and touch to feel the universe.
You nod softly at it, albeit a bit hesitant but you feel a little bit better when he soothes a hand down your back to ground you. "I wanna."
Rindou smiles -- it's a little shy, but you're shy too, and he pulls you closer to his chest with a warmth that only you can plant in him.
"Then I'm okay," There's still a cry left in you but you hold it in. "We'll figure it out as we go." He says with a nose to your cheek and you blink away the tears. "'Kiya is here with us too, no?" You nod again and he nods at you. "We'll figure it out together."
It's not perfect -- he knows his apology isn't complete, but he's got you calmed down for now, and you've figured out an answer together. He'll find more ways to make it up to you tomorrow, or at least when you're not as tired as how droopy your eyelids are right now -- you're sleepy and he knows, so he gently helps you to lay on your back carefully and he kisses your forehead.
You fall asleep in an instant with him kissing you every once in a while, and Rindou lays with you just a little bit longer before he finally gets up, off the bed. A small part of him knows it is not the correct way but he wishes that hopefully a warm shower will be able to wash away his guilt . . .
He carefully places the pregnancy test in an envelope, writing down the date and some other details before peeling off a yellow post-it from his desk.
Call Fujita for appointment
Buy mango rice
Rindou slaps it on the fridge. He steps back a little to look at it and eyes the big calendar hanging off the wall.
A few bites at his fingernails, a few more clicks his tongue, he decides to jot down the same things on there too, in the box of tomorrow's date -- he doesn't want to forget it.
He steps back again and his left foot hits a toy.
And all of a sudden Haitani Rindou is 31 again, a nervous first-time parent who'd just found out about your very first pregnancy together. The raw emotions running through his veins as he looks up on research online with shaky hands, as he held your hand while you consulted with your doctor for the very first time, as you both sat on the floor in the bathroom together wondering about the future.
Now, standing in the middle of his kitchen alone as he fidgets with one of Sakiya's toy he'd picked up from the floor, Rindou thinks it is okay despite the little worry about handling two kids now.
You'll figure it out together -- as parents, as a family.
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reblogs are appreciated! thank you for reading <3
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cameronspecial · 4 months
Text
Let Me Pamper Us, Angel
Pairing: Frat!Rafe Cameron x Reader
Warnings: N/A
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 0.6K
Summary: After a day apart, Y/N just wants to spend an evening with her boyfriend.
A/N: This video was used as inspiration.
Masterlist
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While away for Spring Break, Kelce and Topper miss their best friend. Rafe would never admit to missing anyone except his angel, yet he still agrees to go on Discord with them and play some Call of Duty. Y/N is okay with exploring Sicily by herself for the day. She returns to the yacht to find Rafe still on call with the boys. She pouts a little. Being by herself for the day is not a problem, but she wants to spend the evening with her boyfriend. Instead of asking him to hang out with her like a normal person, she takes out one of the mud masks he bought her. She ducks between his arms and uses the plastic brush to paint the mud on his face. At the cool feel of the mask, he jerks away. “What is that, Angel?” he questions, going to touch his face. She grabs his wrist, “Don’t, it’s a mud mask. I think a spa night would be fun.” He hmms at her words, informing his friends that he has to go. He exits the game and wraps his arms around her waist. “If you wanted a spa night, then you should’ve just told me. Let me pamper us, Angel.”
His headphones are thrown onto the desk and he takes her hand into his. He leads her to the living room’s couch, turning on the TV for her. He puts on Bones for her before heading to the master bedroom’s bathroom. Curiosity fills her and she just wants to see what he is doing. Half an hour later, he comes back into the room with a robe on and one for her in his hand. He asks her to strip, helping her put the fluffy coat on. 
Their feet pad against the tiled floor and she finds the bathroom lit by candles. He tells her to wash her face in the sink and then places her on the counter. His hand rips open the face mask sheet. He sticks his tongue out as he smooths the cool sheet against her skin. “There. All done,” he whispers, kissing her neck. She smiles, “Thank you, Rafe.” He squeezes her hand and keeps holding it while he finishes putting on his mud mask. His eyes spot the towel headband he bought for this spa night. “Oops, I forgot to put this on,” he apologizes and slides it on her head. She giggles at the fact that he knows so much about her spa day routine, “It’s okay. You are doing amazing.” He grins at her reassurance and leads her to the tub. He shrugs off his robe, helping her do the same. As he gets into the tub, the water splashes a little over the edge of the ceramic. He holds his hand up to help her get in and she slots herself between his legs. Her back rests against his chest. He drapes his arms over her shoulder, giving her a kiss on the cheek. They soak in the water and each other’s company for a few minutes. Eventually, his fingers weave through her hair. The pads of his fingers dig into her scalp, eliciting a moan out of her. 
She snuggles back against his hold and kisses the inside of his wrist when he goes to massage the front of her skull. “I’m sorry I stopped you from playing your game with the boys,” she worries out loud, the guilt is getting to her. He lets out a soft chuckle, “It’s okay, Angel. My eyes were getting a little tired anyway. I played the whole time you were gone.” She gives a small nod. “Did you at least eat lunch?” she worries. 
“Yeah, I eat the leftovers from last night. I missed you though. Do you know what you want to eat for dinner?”
“Yeah! I found this great little place. It looks so intimate and the food smelt delicious. We can go after our spa night.”
“Sounds great, Angel.” 
Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @queen-shadow22 @victory-in-the-llama @starkowswife @drewsmusee
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mochatsin · 8 months
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WHEN THE BROTHERS SAVE MC
A scenario where you find yourself in the middle of trouble against demons who would either want to eat you, ruin the exchange program, and the list goes on. Sometimes, they don’t even need a reason to hurt you. Thankfully, one of the brothers arrives in time before it could get worse. Or tldr, the brothers SNAP as they save you
TW: implied torture and violence note: It’s funny because by the time I finished Satan’s part, there’s a chat on my Obey Me about MC getting full marks on their Curses and Hexes subject because of him and I think it’s a funny coincidence it's like the game can hear me. ------------
Lucifer
In his meeting with Diavolo, they both speculated that a faction must be growing against him, and the best way to sabotage the royal prince is to destroy the exchange program after all. 
Lucifer knows that Solomon can handle himself, but you? He’s not so confident. Sure, you can wield magic and form pacts, but there’s a long way to go and stronger enemies to face. You still didn't have the ability to summon them when you needed it without borrowing magic from the sorcerer. 
So when he heard that you haven’t been home and they couldn’t find you anywhere? His heart was banging in his ears. 
You were in charge of dinner for tonight and went out to buy some food to cater to everyone’s requests. But it’s been how many hours since you’ve left and no one can seem to contact you. Mammon went to fetch you from the grocery where you usually buy what you need, only to find your cracked D.D.D. on the ground along with some blood stains.
Lucifer immediately notifies Lord Diavolo and summons all his brothers. The aura around him is intense and his presence is demanding, rightfully so when the human under his protection suddenly went missing. 
“I want EVERYONE to find them. We are not stopping until they are safe and sound in the House. Even if our hands get dirty. Understood?” He demands, and the brothers are happy to obey with that last part.
They were willing to tear apart the entirety of Devildom just to find you. 
Lucifer ends up finding a lead first, after torturing the poor rebel he found in the dark woods to locate the hideout. He heads straight in while his brothers take care of the rest of the demons. 
You were chained by two guards in a cell. The leader wanted to have you killed in front of the royal prince, to see the horrified look on Diavolo’s face, so he kept you alive long enough.
However, Lucifer barges in the cell, with the head of the leader at his hand before tossing it aside. There is no shred of mercy in his eyes. 
“Let them go. That is an order.” 
In a blink of an eye, the demons are nothing but a puddle of red, and Lucifer is already next to you trying to undo your chains.
“Just look at me, MC. Look into my eyes.” he didn’t want you to see the leftover gore. 
With the injuries and bruises on your skin, he can tell you tried to put up a fight when you were being taken. 
“MC… I’m sorry, I couldn’t get to you sooner. But I’m here now. You’re safe in my arms, so rest…”
All the stress and tension he was feeling was gone the moment you sank into his arms, and he embraced you for as long as he could. As if you’d disappear again if he lets go. 
You don’t care about the blood staining his clothes, or the screams coming from the demons outside the cell you were in. You are safe now. 
One of the largest enemy forces against Diavolo disappeared in a single night.
Mammon
A couple weeks ago, he suffered a really bad losing streak during his gambling nights. And he pissed off the big guys more since he tried to cheat his way out of it, before running away from the illegal casino with the money. 
He spent the next few days suffering from Lucifer’s punishments when he was caught, and hiding from those demons he owed money to. 
One night he receives a letter, with a very familiar stamp on it. He wanted to throw it away until he saw red stains on the envelope, so he opened it. 
“I’ll take away your greatest treasure if you don’t give me back my money.” Was written in blood. Your blood. 
He panics when he realizes that he hasn’t seen you since you both left RAD. You went home ahead since he still had to do cleaning duties in the classroom as part of Lucifer’s punishment, but he found it odd that you weren’t in your room. Now he knows why. 
He desperately tries to contact you, calls are left unanswered and text messages are filling up the inbox you haven’t opened. 
There was only one place he knew they’d take you, so he quickly runs to the casino where he last gambled.
Maybe it wasn’t wise of him to run off on his own, since he found himself surrounded by demons and that you were nothing but bait to lure him in their trap. 
But he is the Avatar of Greed, and if they thought that a bunch of lesser demons could get in his way then they are about to be reminded of how wrong they are. 
Mammon doesn’t seem so intimidating given his reputation, but that doesn’t mean he won't drive his fist through the demon’s skulls when they threaten your life as payment for measly debts. You’re priceless to him, and those threats are nothing but insulting. 
The demons that took you held you in a vault so you wouldn’t escape, and you watched as Mammon practically pulled the iron door apart to open it. 
He was panting, already in his demon form. He was drenched in blood and a bit bruised, though some wounds were already healing and while others had completely vanished. He didn’t care about those though when he saw you.
“MC! Y-your arm is bleeding!” He rushed as if you were gravely injured. Humans are fragile after all. He won’t listen to you even if you said you were fine as he checks you for any other injuries. 
He doesn’t admit that he worried, but you saw the fear from his eyes that was washed over with relief when he finally found you. 
He stopped making risky gambles and bets out of fear that more demons would target you as compensation. He also became more protective, if that was even possible in the first place. As long as he’s alive, he’ll make sure your safety is now his priority.
Levi
The only way you could bring Levi outside was if you offered to play that new AR Game. Mononoke Land was all the hype right now, so asking him to go out so you can catch spirits was perfect. 
You both had a blast going around town, at least this way you get to explore some parts of Devildom with Levi and enjoy his company.
You both stopped by a lake, since your human stamina can’t catch up to Levi who hasn’t sat down for a single second just so he could catch spirits that appeared on his phone. 
“MC look! I’ve never had this one before!” He was so excited to show you what he caught but when he turned around, you weren’t there on the spot he left you “MC?” 
Surely you wouldn’t ditch him here right? He did feel bad that he spent more time focusing on the game than paying attention to you, since you were the one who invited him out after all. 
He could hear the splashing of water and finds you walking in the middle of the lake, lured in by a siren’s song. Those kinds of things don't work on Levi, but he forgot how effective it was on human ears that you were immediately put under its spell. 
Quickly, Levi transformed and jumped into the lake. He never knew that these waters were infested with sea dwelling demons and sirens until he saw them trying to drag you into the lake. He regrets not paying more attention to where the game brought you both to. 
Luckily he’s the best among the brothers when it comes to the waters, so he was quick to save you when the siren started dragging you deeper in the water to drown you. 
It wouldn’t want to let you go and it intended to bring Levi down with it, so with a quick flick of his tail, the water started staining red. Not exactly a good idea when it started attracting more demons towards you both. 
You were unconscious from the siren’s song, and Levi doesn’t want to expose you to more harm than necessary. He brings you to shore to keep you safe, before diving back in to slaughter the rest of the fish.
These sea dwellers are nothing but shrimp compared to Levi, the Grand Admiral of Hell's Navy. Water is his element and he is quick to tear them to shreds when any of them tried to get to you. 
You wake up to Levi shaking you, both of you drenched from head to toe. You don’t remember what happened, the last thing you recall was hearing someone sing and it all blacked out. 
He wraps his arms and tail around you tightly “D-dont scare me like that MC! Jeez… this is why we should shut ourselves indoors…” 
He doesn’t want to tell you what happened. But the blood red lake is all you need to know what transpired. 
Satan
You both decided to have a small study session together in the library. You were struggling a bit with the subject of Curses and Hexes, and Satan is more than happy enough to teach you the basics. 
Satan always talks about his pranks with Lucifer that revolve around curses, plus he’s the most knowledgeable out of the brothers so he was the perfect fit for a tutor. 
It was unlike you to be late for your study sessions though. Satan has been waiting for a while now in the library, long enough for him to stand up and search for you. He memorized your schedule, so he knew which classrooms to search in.  
Before he could even enter the room, he could hear a lot of mockery and laughter. But the voice he could recognize was from you, and you sounded hurt. He wasted no time barging in. 
You were just on your way to the library to meet up with Satan, until two demons from your class cornered you. They poked fun of your grades, despite the fact you’ve only been learning for a few months. They said awful things, and called you insulting names to the point tears threatened to fall. 
“Pathetic human, can’t even master something as basic as this. You’re nothing without the demon lords. Why don’t we give you a hands-on learning experience about curses?”
Before they could even chant a single phrase, Satan barged in his full demon form, the impact from slamming the door was enough to crack the walls around it.
“Say one more word from your mouth, and I’ll rip that jaw of yours off your head and fill up your throat with your teeth.” He threatened as he made a beeline towards you, kneeling down to face you.
“Mc… oh kitten, please know that nothing they’ve said is true. You don’t have to be perfect in everything, even in grades, to impress me.” He was so gentle with you, wiping the tears from your eyes with his thumb. 
“I’ll have one of my brothers pick you up, okay? I just need to teach a certain demon a hands-on lesson.” he escorts you out of the classroom before he closes the door behind him. You hear the click of the lock, and just as you reached the end of the hallway you heard a lot of screaming. 
He may be the secretary of the student council, but his wrath knows no patience. He’s not waiting for an order from Lucifer or Diavolo, not when he can show these demons what to expect when they mess with his precious human.
When he gets home, he checks you for any wounds. Claw marks and scratches ran across your skin, and it took all his self control not to go back to RAD and finish what he started. But he tends to you first, kissing each wound and tears as he comforts you. 
Satan spent the next few days reminding you that you’re special to him. He would whisper sweet nothings to you when you two are alone. “If you need my help, please never hesitate to reach out to me. It brings me joy whenever I can offer you my assistance.”
Whenever you ask him why the demons are constantly coughing out frogs if they try to approach you, Satan would just smile and deny it. 
“Maybe they got cursed? Who knows.” 
Asmo
Asmo wanted to take you shopping for make-up today. He insisted on giving you a makeover and after you finally said yes, he wanted to take you to several stores to see which kinds would suit your complexion best.  
You were in charge of carrying all the products that Asmo bought for you as he dragged you to another store. Most of the time though, you would sit down waiting for him to finish retouching his makeup. Every time he makes eye contact with himself in the mirror, he would take out his powder, lipstick, or comb to make sure he stays perfect.
Both of you were unaware of a succubi that’s been following you ever since you got to the mall. She has been boiling with jealousy because ever since you showed up, you were the point of all of Asmo’s attention. But now you’re all alone, a perfect time to see for herself who her rival is. 
You feel sharp nails grab the hair from the back of your head, and instinctively you drop all the bags at hand to try to pry off whoever was holding you. She yanks and pulls your head back as she hissed.
“I can’t believe that the Avatar of Lust fell for such an ugly human like you. Even laying my eyes on you makes me sick! I don’t see what he loves so much about you.”
“Then maybe you don’t need those eyes after all darling.” You hear Asmo from behind, but you can’t turn your head to his direction. Not while the succubi still has a grip on your hair.
It didn’t last though, you felt the grip loosened and heard a blood curdling scream. You wanted to turn to look at what’s happening behind you but Asmo stopped you “Sweetie, please don’t turn around. I don’t want you to see me all… messy.” 
You focus on picking up the bags that you dropped, trying to ignore the screaming and growing puddle of red that’s bleeding through the tiles. 
Asmo wraps an arm around you after you grab everything, taking you away from the scene. He still has that cheerful smile on his face and was somehow spotless from head to toe, as if nothing happened. The only evidence is the blood if he must’ve forgotten to remove under his nail polished fingernails. 
Remembering all those words, you insisted that you both go home now and Asmo agreed. He’s a little pouty seeing your frown, it’s not a good look on you. He’s tired of seeing that look on your face whenever you look at yourself in the mirror, which is why he wanted to bring you here today. If only that demon didn’t have to come and ruin it. 
“Darling… You know that you’re beautiful right? And I’m not saying that just because. I have exquisite taste after all! and I’ve seen a lot of pretty things and pretty faces. But you’re the best by far” He reminds you, and it makes you smile. He starts making a habit of telling you everyday.  
You didn’t ask about the succubi, Asmo wouldn’t tell you anyways. But you saw everything up in Devilgram though. Someone was able to record the whole thing where Asmo has stirred quite the scene when he claws out that poor succubi’s eyes behind you. Maybe that’s why he didn’t want you to look. 
It’s a miracle you didn’t get any blood on your clothes. Though you remembered how Asmo offered to wash your jacket for you so maybe you weren’t so lucky.
“Gosh! I’m so glad that video got my good side, but I do NOT pair well with blood.” He whines. Eventually, Lucifer had Barbatos take the video down quickly for damage control.
Beel
Ever since Diavolo took over Devildom, he made laws that banned humans off the menu for demons. Even if it’s been centuries since then, with new delectable food alternatives, there are still those who crave for the blood of humans.
You and Beel promised to go out on a small food trip, a reward for him after he won his recent Fangol game. You’re willing to accompany Beel anywhere he wanted to go, so he took you to dessert shops you’re both unfamiliar with. 
He seems to be having a time of his life getting to try out these new stalls! And you’re in charge of making sure he doesn’t eat the entire stock every single time.
Beel made a promise to save some sweets for Belphie, so he made a quick stop to that shop that sells Devil Honey Cookies while you wanted to check the shop across the street. Though when he came back, he couldn’t seem to find you anywhere. He entered each shop to find you but to no avail,
He never thought to search some of these shady stalls, the kinds that would hang fresh butchered bats and hog heads on the window display. He knew this stuff made you uncomfortable, so he was considerate enough not to bring you here.
That was until he overheard some demons whisper to each other “the chef said there’s a new item on the menu tonight. Something we haven’t had in a long time. A fresh human.” 
Beel dropped the honey cookies and ran straight to the kitchen, where he found the butcher sharpening his knife with you strapped to the table. You were taken away to the butcher’s shop while he was away, since the demons have been craving the meat of human flesh for centuries now. 
The blood in his veins is boiling, the air around the kitchen is suddenly heavy to breathe as he transforms. 
“Y-you’re not supposed to be here!” The chef demands, pointing the sharpened blade at Beel. He never spared the demon a glance, using his two fingers to bend the knife like a toothpick. The chef couldn’t dare to move and simply watched as Beel untied you from the table. 
The low growls from him when he saw how the restraints bruised your skin, you can tell that nothing you’d say will help sooth his nerves. Then you heard his stomach roar. 
“MC… I need you to go out of the kitchen first. I’ll meet you out front okay?” 
Once you leave, Beel turns to the chef. The last thing that poor soul saw was all the hunger in his eyes. “Bon appetit.” 
From outside, you heard this sickening CRUNCH that sent shivers down your spine. After a few minutes, Beel walks out the store as he licks his lips clean. 
“Why don’t we call it a day MC? I’m feeling kind of full now.” 
Belphie
Belphie doesn’t like looking back at his old self. Back when he hated all humans. The one that manipulated and lied to you, then rewarded your help by killing you with his bare hands. 
It took a lot of apologizing and making up for it to get him to how you both are like right now. But he knows that sometimes the pain lingers. When you shiver if his hands get too close, the times he finds you rubbing your neck, or how you stopped running down the stairs since you’re afraid of falling; those were all your tells.
He knows that he’s not the only demon out there who was against having human exchange students. Those demons are far less patient and more ruthless than he is, and he’s afraid that they might do something worse if they get their hands on you. 
Belphie has been trying to look everywhere for you, but you’re nowhere in your classrooms. Confused, he calls up Beel trying to ask for your whereabouts.
“What do you mean? MC said they’ve been looking for you after you sent them a letter.”
“... what letter? I never sent them one though”
“That’s odd. MC said you were asking to meet them at the rooftop.”
Belphie hightailed it to the roof, knowing that a demon must’ve forged his name and handwriting just to trick you. When he got to the rooftop, he found the doorknob jammed locked. 
He tried to kick the door open, but doors built in RAD were built to be so sturdy and he wasn’t as strong as his twin. He thought about calling Beel over to help, but all sense of reason jumped out of the window the moment he smelled something oh so familiar. 
The smell of your blood. He can never forget the scent, especially when it lingered in his fingertips for so long after the incident. He quickly shifts into his demon form to finally kick down the door, yelling for your name. 
A demon was dragging you by the hair, trying to take you to the edge to ‘throw out the trash’ while you begged for it to let you go. 
You felt its grip on you loosened, enough for you to get up and see Belphie holding onto the demon’s wrist. 
“MC… I need you to go out and call Beel over.” He says, unable to look at you. He was afraid that he might see that fear in your eyes again if he did. So he waited until you left and closed the broken door behind you. 
The grip he has on the demon tightens up until the point it’s wrist snaps, but he looks unfazed even with all the screaming. 
“You know… I used to be just like you. I used to tell myself that I would tear apart those humans to shreds. All the things I did. They didn’t deserve that… but I know who does.”
It’s late at night in the House of Lamentation. After managing to calm down the brothers from the fuss, you try to find Belphie and see him in the bathroom trying to wash his hands. You both lock eyes and before you can say a word, you break the silence. 
“… Thank you, Belphie. I wouldn’t know what would’ve happened if you weren’t there.” 
He looks surprised, assuming that you might’ve been afraid of him after his earlier behavior. But his lips formed a smile “anything for you, MC”
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thyme-in-a-bubble · 2 months
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the taste
buttercup, chapter four
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a/n: the smutty smut has arrived, folks!
summary: “look, all I’m saying is that he likes you, a lot. He’s never let himself be with anyone like you, anyone who truly made him happy, anyone he actually had a fighting chance of getting a stable and healthy relationship out of.”
warnings: matt murdock x baker!reader, smut, neighbours to lovers, rape recovery, ptsd, kissing, over the clothes fun, dry humping, fingering, dirty talk
word count: 2419
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It had been the end of June when your parents passed. You didn’t recall much from that summer, most of your memories had just kind of faded away as the brain occasionally does when it’s faced with trauma, but one thing that you’d never forget was the feeling of Howard, each and every morning, gently lifted you out of bed and attempted to let you sleep a little longer, holding you like a tiny baby bear against him, as they went to open up the bakery. 
School was out, and at only nine years old, you couldn’t just stay at home all alone, not with their long hours and especially not with the overwhelming grief you were dealing with. So, they brought you with them.
It didn’t take very long before you forgot about your toys and activity books in favour of just watching the magic that went on in the kitchen. Soon you were running around the place doing all matter of little tasks they could come up with for you and when they noticed the missing glint it brought back to your eye, they began to teach you and truly made you fall in love with the meditative craft. 
At the end of that summer when the next school year rolled around, you didn’t wanna leave. You’d grown up here, you’d healed here, the doorframe into the small lavatory in the back even had little chicken scratches documenting your height. This place was your home.
Sweeping a damp cloth over the steel tabletops, the music emanating from your phone that rested on the dark windowsill suddenly stopped as it buzzed with your ringtone. Putting it on speaker, you kept on wiping the surface down. 
“Matt, hi!”
“Hey,” his deep timbre filled the dim kitchen of the bakery. 
“I’m just about to lock up, if you’re still up for a little company.” 
“Yeah, about that,” he puffed out a heavy breath, “I’m still at the office.”
“Oh,” your moments froze a moment, “is everything alright?”
“Yeah, just swamped with this case prep.”
“Is it just you there?”
“No, the others are here too.”
“Well,” you exhaled a smile, “if you’re gonna burn the midnight oil, maybe I could come over with some of the leftovers from today to keep you guys going?”
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Still in the doorway, your arms enclosed around Matt and the stuffed brown paper bag in your hand hung over his shoulder. 
Eyeing the goods, Foggy’s voice found your ears, “is that the–”
“Yeah,” you simply extended your arm in his direction, “here you go, take it.”
“Oh my god,” he snatched it out of your grasp and opened the crinkly bag up, nearly drooling as he glanced through the selections, “Karen, could you–”
“Get some plates? Yep,” the honey-haired woman then moved into the small kitchenette and grabbed some paper plates and napkins. 
Drawing back from the fleeting embrace, Matt then asked, “how was your day?” 
“It was fine,” you shrugged, your eyes briefly flickering over his attire, the tie tugged loose around his unbuttoned collar and his sleeves were rolled up past his burly forearms, “I kinda like it when I get to do the night shifts all alone. It’s so quiet–, oh, and I get to have full control over the music choice. It’s great,” a slight grin brightened your features, “how about you, huh?” you grabbed his hand in yours, “what’s this wild case about?”
A deep sigh flowed from his lips as he squeezed your hand, “uh, it’s this kid who–,” his phone then abruptly began to buzz in his pocket, “oh, sorry,” he fished it out, “I gotta take this.”
Letting go of his fingers, you said, “of course,” and watched as he ducked into his own office and answered the call. 
As you gazed at his visage still visible through the glass, Foggy’s words stirred you from your daydream.
“He’s happy.” 
Turning to blink back at him, you hummed, “huh?”
“You make him happy,” Foggy smiled from the humble conference room, “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him smile that much with anyone else, but then again, you are quite different from his usual type.”
Passing over the threshold into the space, your brows furrowed, “I’m not his type?”
“No! Oh, that came out wrong,” he winced, “Matt just has a tendency to get involved with the wrong kind of girls. You’re just different,” hastily adding, “in a good way.” 
“Oh…” you sank down into one of the chairs, wondering tensely if he was still dating others since you’d never had a conversation about how exclusive you were or how serious this thing between you even was, “does Matt date a lot?” 
“I wouldn’t exactly call it that, since it never really lasts that long,” Foggy said, though when he noticed the look on your face, his features soured in regret, “wow, I’m really screwing all of this up, aren’t I… look, all I’m saying is that he likes you, a lot. He’s never let himself be with anyone like you, anyone who truly made him happy, anyone he actually had a fighting chance of getting a stable and healthy relationship out of.”
Just then, you heard Matt’s footsteps entering the room from behind you, “hey,” he called Foggy’s attention, “you mind going down to the station tomorrow morning, check if Brett can get us any files that might help?” coming to a stop just behind where you were seated, his touch grazed the back of the chair. Reaching back, you caught one of his hands and briefly craned your neck, bringing his palm up to your lips to press a small peck to his calloused skin. 
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll go buy some more cigars,” Foggy sighed, briefly turning his attention back to the computer before him, slumping slightly as the intimidating and tangled laws still flashed back at him on the screen from when he’d looked them up earlier, he then blinked back up at you, “hey, Y/n?”
“Hm?” you hummed, meeting his eye as you weaved your fingers with Matt’s. 
“Have I ever told you that my mom wanted me to be a butcher?” 
“Oh,” you heard Matt sigh dramatically behind you as Karen too bit down on her lip to suppress a smile, “not the butcher story.”
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“Oh, yeah, I’m sorry to break the news,” you said light-heartedly as you chewed on the taste Matt had offered you of his curry, “but I definitely picked the better one.”
With his tinted glasses resting on the coffee table beside where your takeout container of Thai food rested, a smile twitched on Matt’s lips, “well, you do work in food, so it does make sense that you’re better at ordering.”
“Here,” you filled your spoon up with the red soup, catching one of the floating pieces of tofu, before bringing it up to his lips, “give it a taste.” 
An airy giggle bubbled out of you as a drop of soup clung to the corner of his lip and you instinctively reached out to wipe it clean, his chuckle swiftly mirroring your own. Though when you then froze, fingers staying close, your laughter faded. The fluorescent light that streamed in through the tall windows of his apartment illuminated his features as you watched him swallow the small taste. Ghosting your thumb across his skin, you traced his bottom lip. You weren’t sure who moved first, but the next thing you knew, you were locked in a kiss. 
You faintly heard him place his dinner down on the coffee table before his palms came up to cup your cheeks. You fumbled a bit, trying not to tip anything as you laid down the spoon in your grasp. 
A yearning whimper seeped from deep within your chest when you felt his tongue faintly ghost against your own before he breathlessly eased back a bit to utter, “you’re right,” stealing a soft peck before he went on, “It does taste really good.” 
Tilting your chin, you fervently captured his lips once more, your touch crumbled up his shirt till it found purchase in his already loosened tie, playing with it as your tongue danced against his. 
When he buried his hands in your hair, his short nails soothingly scraped over your scalp and a small moan flowed from you and vibrated against his kiss. 
The clear pulse that rocked throughout your body accumulated between your legs in a dizzying throb, an enchanting sensation that swayed you to get even closer and crawl into his lap. His wide palms dragged down the length of your spine in a way that caused a shiver to follow along.
Tangling your fingers in his hair as you kissed him back, your hips then instinctively sought to scratch and satisfy the itch that had grown so immense by rocking down against him and the noticeable hardness that tented his pants. 
Breathlessly in between kisses, Matt said, “you wanna enjoy the food before it gets cold?” offering you a gentle escape in case you needed it.
Ghosting the tip of your nose against his, you uttered, “I don’t mind popping it in the microwave,” deliberately rolling your hips against his once more, “do you?”
Sharing his hot breath, you were so close that your lips nearly crashed into one another once more, but they didn’t as your pelvis kept up their slow and teasing grinding. Matt’s eyes fluttered shut a moment as he let out a low groan, “no,” his touch slid further down and dug into the softness of your bottom, “no, I don’t mind.” 
Capturing your lips once more, he slowly began to grow more confident in his touch, though some weariness still lingered as he began to aid your movements. 
As his lips migrated down the length of your neck, you let out a moan, “fuck,” your frame shivering from the pleasure, “oh my god,” yet also out of a deep desire for more, “Matt…” 
“Yeah?” his low voice vibrated against your throbbing pulse on the side of your neck. 
“M-Matt–,” your eyes fluttered shut as he rocked you down harder against him, “oh, holy fuck… could you–, would you–”
“What?” the sound of his words made you feel dizzy, “what do you need?”
“Touch me,” you uttered hazily, head enchantingly tilted back. 
“Yeah?” he reeled back a bit as one of his hands scooped up to find your cheek. 
“Please,” you downright whined, “please, Matt.”
Keeping one hand fast in your hair, the other one moved to caress the soft peaks of your tits. 
“Here?” 
You let out a filthy whimper as he palmed you, “uhh, ngah–, lower–…” his hand teasingly complied, “lower…” till he finally cupped you through your pants. 
“Here?” he pressed down against the seam, “huh? Is it here, Y/n?
“Y-yes!” you shuttered on top of him as he rubbed your thrumming clit so perfectly through your clothing, “oh, f-fuck, you’re good at that–”
He stole a short, yet sloppy kiss from your lips before your head tilted down and buried itself in his neck. Your moans were muffled against the crook of his shoulder as you then glided your own fingers down along the length of his arm, feeling the muscles of his forearm tense beneath your touch as he worked you. Eventually, your hand found what it was looking for, your palm rested atop of his, almost like you were holding his hand as you felt it move beneath yours and stroke you silly. 
Your fingers then grasped his tighter as you plucked it further up and stuffed it into your waistband, guiding his reach all the way down till you soaked his digits. 
“Christ, you’re wet,” Matt groaned as your touch, ever atop of his, begged him to swirl your puffy pearl, “fuck…”
Without the barrier of clothing, your frame swiftly began to crumble from the ecstasy. Your right leg gave out and slid across Matt’s lap to where your other limb was. Your head drifted down as well as Matt’s arms only tightened around your slumped form, keeping you flush against him as you hid your features in the mass of his arm as your free hand clutched onto it. 
Curling into him as he cradled you, the way he petted your pussy nearly made you vibrate, “don’t stop, please,” you unintentionally kept wiggling down against the tent in his pants. 
“I won’t,” he breathed heavily as he kept on caressing you, occasional moans also flowing from his lips, “I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”
His long middle finger then slid down to tease your leaking hole before just shyly sinking in, just barely, keeping everything so light, before fluttering up to circle your clit again and then dropping down to repeat the motion till he had you on the edge. 
When you tumbled over, both of your hands joined at his bicep, digging into it as his name shined through your lewd moan.
Catching your breath, his fingers gently slipped out of your pants. Sluggishly, you clung closer and snaked your arms around him. 
“You okay?” he hugged you tight. 
“Mhm,” you hummed into his warmth.  
Planting a soft peck on your hairline, he then moved to readjust your embrace, lowering you both till you were lying on the leather couch. 
After a moment, your fingers twisted in the southern material of his shirt close to his belt, “do you want me to–…”
“No need,” he shook his head. 
Tilting your chin up, you glanced at his soft expression, “really?”
“Yeah,” a bright smirk tugged at his lips, “just the way you sounded was beautiful enough to do the trick for me.” 
Grinning wide, you felt your face grow hot at the compliment, haven not realised the power he had over you apparently went both ways. 
Cuddling him closer, you lifted yourself up a bit and pressed a slow kiss to his lips. 
When you laid your head back down, he asked, “do you want something to drink?” his warm palm drew slow and soothing patterns all along your spine, “some more to eat maybe?”
“No,” you blinked up at him, utterly spellbound, “could we maybe just stay here like this a little longer?”
“Of course,” he relaxed further beside you, “we can stay like this forever if you’d like.”
A smile then crept up on your lips as you pointed out, “forever’s a very long time…”
Chuckling lightly, Matt nodded, “it is…”
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© 2024 thyme-in-a-bubble 
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rafesfavgirl · 15 days
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treat you better — j. maybank
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❝ tell me, why are we wasting time on all your wasted crying when you should be with me instead? i know i can treat you better ❞
pairing: best friend!jj x cheater!reader
context: once again, you went through your boyfriend's phone and found things you didn't wanna find. but for some reason, you can't seem to build up the courage to finally end things with him (he was your first love, after all). so, you turn to your best friend, jj, for advice and comfort.
words: 1.4k+
warnings: reader's in a toxic relationship, mild cheating (physical & emotional, but i don't condone it!!), a little angst, fluff
you sat at the edge of the pier at the chateau, your eyes focused on the way the moon reflected off the marsh. you had just snuck out of your boyfriend's house after he fell asleep and you looked through his phone.
adriana. kelly. paige. maya. lauryn. the number of girls' names you found in his insta dms and messages went on and on.
why did you put up with this? i mean, sure, he was your first… everything, but was he really worth it?
"y/n?" you hear a familiar voice call out your name and turn your head to find jj walking down the dock to join you. "what are you doing out here?"
"just needed some time to think," you said, looking back out towards the marsh.
jj lets out a sigh, already having an inkling of what must be bothering you, and takes a seat beside you. "let me guess… liam again?"
"i just don't understand why it can't just be me," you shrug, a thousand things running through your head. most of the time, liam told you the girls were just his "friends". but deep down, you always wondered whether or not he took it any further with any of them. and that thought, alone, made you sick to your stomach.
"i mean, am i doing something wrong?" you turn your head to look jj, only to find that he was already looking at you, a certain kind of sadness filling his baby blues. he hated that you even thought you were the one in the wrong.
"it's not you, y/n. whatever he's doing, it's on him," he tells you. "stop putting up with it."
"but i love him, j," you admit, your voice cracking a little. you knew that you shouldn't. he was a scum bag. nothing but a cheater. but he was also the guy who made you feel like the most special girl in the world. the one you'd completely laid yourself bare to. "what am i suppose to do about that?"
the defeated look in your eyes broke his heart. but instead of listing off different ways you could deal with liam, jj decides to be a friend, and opens his arms up to you, "come here."
for the first time all night, you let yourself break, and immediately fall into his arms.
"i just don't get it," you sobbed into jj's chest, as he ran a hand through your hair and rested his head on top of yours,
in an attempt to soothe you. "i've done everything, j." you continued. "everything he needs from me, i do. everything he wants me to be, i try to be. so why can't he just let the other girls go? why can't i just be the one?"
hearing you cry about this guy was not only breaking jj's heart, but also making his blood boil. liam didn't deserve you, he knew that much.
after a few minutes in silence of jj just running his hands through your hair and pepperring soft kisses on your head, you finally pull away from him, looking like a complete mess.
there were now black stains under your eyes from crying some of your mascara off, and pieces of your hair stuck to your tear-stained cheeks, as you sniffled.
"i'm sorry," you said, attempting to rub off the mascara stains also leftover on jj's shirt. "your shirt's all stained with tears and mascara now."
"i don't give a shit about my shirt, y/n," he tells you, bringing a hand up to tuck your messy hair behind your ear. "are you okay?"
you sighed, the tears threatening to well up in your eyes again. ugh. after hearing yourself going on about the way you've felt about liam treating you, you were beginning to wonder whether or not it was really love you were feeling for him or not.
but if it wasn't love, why did you still feel like crying?
"i don't even know anymore," you say honestly, shaking your head and running your fingers through your hair. "i mean, how do you even go about loving someone who's hurt you so much?"
"you don't," jj tells you.
"you don't think i love him?" i asked. i wasn't sure why i was asking jj, but i also knew that he knew me better than anyone. maybe even better than liam. so if there was anyone who could tell whether or not i was in love… it'd be him, right?
"i can't tell you how you feel, y/n," he says.
"i'm not asking you to," i reply. "i just wanna know what you think."
he sighs, and shifts his eyes between yours. he knew exactly what he wanted to say, but he wasn't sure it was his place to do so—more so, he wasn't sure you'd like his take.
"promise you won't get mad?"
you chuckle, feeling uneasy now. "why would i get mad?"
"i think you're scared," he says, causing you to furrow your brows.
you scoff, thinking he sounds ridiculous. "scared? why would i be scared?"
"because he's your first," he shrugs. "i mean, he was your first, right?"
"so? what does that have to do with anything?" you ask, knowing damn well the information was relevant.
"i know you, y/n," he says, locking his eyes with mine. "you're a hopeless romantic who has your head buried in those romance books all the time because that's what you want. you want your first to be the one. and you're a perfectionist. you can't stand the idea of putting your all into one person only for them to not be worth it… so all this time… that's what you've tried to do."
you stay quiet. jj was actually making sense.
"i'm not saying you didn't love him," he continues. "i think you really did, but the love you felt before isn't what you're feeling now. i think it's just indifference. you don't want to believe that you've actually lost feelings for someone you've fought so hard for, so you try to convince yourself those feelings are still there. because that way… at least you won't be the bad guy."
your mouth had fallen agape, as you realized that jj was right. "wow."
"but you're not the bad guy anyway," he assures you, placing a hand on top of yours. "you've done all you can. what he does isn't your fault. your only fault would be staying."
"but what if he's fucked me up so bad that i've become unlovable?" you ask, voicing your real fear. truth was, you weren't always the best girlfriend. since liam made you feel so insecure about his feelings towards you all the time, it made you act out in ways you never thought you would. you'd call him incessantly when he wouldn't answer. you'd demand he cut certain girls off. ask for his location at all times. he saw the absolute worst of you. and yet, he stayed. what if no one else did?
"is that really what you think?" jj asks.
"i wasn't always the perfect girlfriend, j," i admit, glancing down and fiddling with his fingers on top of mine. "i was insecure all the time. i constantly-"
"because he made you feel that way," jj cuts you off, and picks your head up with his hands to make you look at him. "don't you get it, y/n? whatever you did, it was because of him. anyone made to feel insecure would act out. that's not your fault. you're just…" his eyes shift between yours. "human."
"but what if-"
"but nothing," he shook his head. "you are the absolute perfect version of yourself, y/n. and liam's an idiot for not realizing that. it doesn't get better than you."
without even thinking and being overwhelmed by the sweetness of jj's words, you lean in to kiss him.
he doesn't even hesitate to kiss you back, his hands on your face immediately tangling into your hair. 
your hands make their way to back of his head, the kiss deepening as they do.
your tongues dance together in perfect harmony, until you abruptly pull away.
"wait, wait, wait," you say, and he looks at you, a mix of confusion and sadness at the lost of touch present on his face. "this feels wrong."
he glances down, "oh."
"no, not like that. i mean-" you take a deep breath to get your words together, while jj just looks at you. "the kiss was great. amazing, even. it's just… i'm still technically liam's girlfriend."
his eyes light up at the compliment about the kiss, before he chuckles, "shit."
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thewulf · 6 months
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If You Insist || Jake "Hangman" Seresin
Summary: Request - What if one of reader's love language Is act of service,She used to prepare a lunch box for her and her (now ex) boyfriend but he never appreciated the gesture,because he isn a kid and could buy food like his other team mates... Read Rest Here
A/N: This is just PURE fluff. Insecure reader a little bit and a very confident fluffy Jake!
Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Y/N
Word Count: 3.0k +
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While you finished putting the leftovers away into glass containers Jake finished off the dishes beside you humming a song you didn’t recognize. You danced alongside him regardless, his bounciness rather infectious. You found everything about the blonde man beside you mesmerizing. Even after as long as you’ve known him and as long as you’ve been dating him you never ceased to get butterflies by his flirty comments. He never grew tired of making you blush. The day you stopped was the day he knew he fucked up.
No matter how tired he was after a long day in the air he made sure to never let you have the brunt of the chores when it came to housework. He knew you worked just as hard, if not harder, as a patent lawyer for a local firm that kept you very busy. Jake didn’t know the half of your job but when it came to listening to you dominate a conversation on the phone he knew he was absolutely head over heels for you. He found you so damn attractive when you put people down with legal jargon he could hardly understand. He was rather helplessly in love with you. Not that he minded, not a bit. He loved being in love with you. It was easy with you. Blissful with you.
Good thing too, because you were just as in love with him as he was with you. While he hadn’t proposed just yet he had big plans too. He knew he wanted to do something with the jets he flew on a daily basis but just hadn’t figured out the perfect plan. So, it’d just gave to wait a little while he talked it through with his coworkers formulating a fool proof plan that’d surly have you saying yes to him.
You and Jake had met by complete chance at the national air show during fleet week in San Diego. You’d been dragged out by your roommate who claimed you never did anything fun, so you had to prove her wrong. To your absolute horror you quite literally ran into Jake, spilling your nacho cheese all over the front of his Navy whites. You’d become a stuttering mess of a human and nearly cried you were so embarrassed when you saw the fake yellow cheese coat his perfectly pristine uniform. But Jake took it in stride. He calmed you down reassuring you that he wasn’t mad or upset. He was actually thrilled you ran into him because you were ‘quite stunning’ which brought out a brilliant blush to your cheeks. That same blush Jake strived to get from you on a daily basis. He had yet to fail.
From that moment on the two of you were glued at the hip. You’d taken it slow going from acquaintances to friends to best friends before he finally worked up the courage to ask you on a date a year after the nacho cheese fiasco. Fast forward another year and you’d never been happier in your life. You’d been dating and falling helplessly in love with your best friend. A man you only knew as Jake but heard of the stories of him as his callsign Hangman.
“Thank you.” You smiled sweetly at your boyfriend as he took the last plate from your hands.
“No need to thank me sweetheart.” He put the plate in the dishwasher, cleaned his hands and walked right up to you before planting a soft kiss right on your forehead, “Teamwork, remember?” He raised his eyebrows at  you referencing an earlier conversation the two of you had regarding housework. You felt guilty early on in the relationship when he would do random chores or cook you dinner. You felt like a failure of a girlfriend. That’s how your ex would’ve framed it anyway. He wasn’t the best guy you’d come to learn as you figured out what a loving relationship was actually supposed to be like. Jake had reassured you that as partners he would take on some of the housework and help you out. He’d made it clear it was a partnership that was always going to be worked on.
You hummed acknowledging him, “I know, I still appreciate it though.” You leaned up on your tippy toes kissing his cheek with a slowness about you that wanted to cherish the still moment you were having with the man you adored, “I appreciate you.”
He scooped you up in his arms with ease, “Of course darlin’.” Kissing your nose this time he walked over to the couch carrying you in his arms where he set you down softly before pulling you into him once more. Not that you were complaining. You learned quickly how much of a physical touch kind of guy he was. You initially weren’t. But you’d come to love it. You loved giving him what he needed and craved, it made you feel good.
“Thank you for dinner.” He squeezed your hip, “It was delicious.” Jake lived for moments like these. Moments where it was just you and him. The house was quiet. Life was relaxed. You were as beautiful as ever. It revived him after long days of relentless thinking and berating from his superiors. You recharged him without doing a single thing. That’s how he knew you were his one and only. He just wanted to be around you, no question. He’d choose you over and over again without so much as a second thought. He thought he knew love before you, but he was sorely mistaken. Each and every day with you was a gift he made sure to cherish and relish. He just hoped you knew how much you meant to him. How he literally couldn’t do life without you anymore. You were his shining beacon, his north star, the guiding light he never knew he needed. And he couldn’t bear the thought of losing that thing that kept him chugging along. He needed you. Now and forever.
You grinned up to him, brushing his overgrown hair out of his face, “You know it babe. I know you’ve had a rough week. Want to talk about it? You don’t have to if you don’t want to but it looks like somethings on your mind?” You asked softly noticing the small changes. He never snapped at you, but he seemed more irritated, more on edge. Had he gotten a new assignment? Gotten into an argument with a superior? It wasn’t like him to not talk to you about it, no matter how small.
He laughed it off softly, “It’s dumb, really.”
You shook your head before resting it on his chest. Breathing in his scent you were sure you’d never tire of it. He always just smelled so damn good. No matter what. After a workout? He smelled heavenly. A long day of work? No sweat, he smelled perfect. Waking up? The most amazing morning scent. You were attracted to him no matter what. That’s how you knew you were a goner. He never made you angry or annoyed either. As much as you loved your friends and family they still always annoyed you to pieces when you spent an extended amount of time with them. Not Jake, no. You could spend every second tied at the hip for the rest of eternity and still have a good time.
“I promise it’s not dumb if it’s bothering you.” You spoke as you nuzzled your head into the crook of his neck.
He wrapped an arm around you to secure into his chest, “The admiral decided the cafeteria needed a renovation, so we’ve been without one for the week. Thought it’d be okay but I’m struggling. We’re all struggling” He laughed hating to admit how defeated he was by the simple problem, “Not enough time to run out for food and well… I haven’t packed a lunch since I was twelve. Seems like the whole squadron is in the same boat.”
You smiled giving him a squeeze, “That’s not dumb Jake. You’re just hungry my love.”
He gave you a sheepish smile back, “I haven’t taken it out on you, have I?”
Shaking your head you ran along his arm, “Hardly. You just seemed a little more agitated this week is all.”
“Nothing gets by you, does it?” He closed his eyes leaning back into the couch relishing every second he got with you like this. Utter peace. He’d wish for nothing else other than this. Life was bliss with you.
You laughed softly letting yourself mold into him preparing yourself for the movie night Jake had proposed earlier on during dinner. Your favorite kind of night. A night spent in cuddling up to your favorite human to ever exist. This was what life was made for. What else could you really ask for?
“Hardly.” You yawned mumbling into his side feeling your week catch up to you, “I’d be a shitty lawyer if it did.”
“You could never be shitty at anything, not even if you tried darlin’.” Jake spoke while rubbing your head with the softest strokes knowing it was your ultimate weakness. You wouldn’t be awake for too much longer if he continued doing it and he knew it.
You hummed, “Flatter me Seresin.” You felt drunk for the tiredness the didn’t allow your eyes to open.
You felt the vibration of his chest before hearing the sound of his laughter, “Flattery or truth?”
Mumbling something incoherent you didn’t even know you were saying you let the darkness take over as you fell asleep on your rock. He made you feel more safe and secure than anyone or anything had before. He was worth the wait and the shitty relationships you struggled through before.
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You didn’t think much of it as you packed a second lunch for Jake while making your own the next morning. You had to be in early this week for court, so you were up before him for a change. You’d decided to just go ahead and pack the innocent man his own lunch that would actually fill him up instead of the random shit you knew he just threw together in the morning while he was half awake.
You wrote him a simple note, ‘Hope you enjoy, love you!’ Leaving it on top of the food and putting it in the fridge hoping he’d appreciate the small gesture.
You’d forgotten all about it until Jake had made it back to your apartment that night. You weren’t expecting him but it was always a pleasant surprise when he did come over. Instead of his usual gentle kiss he all but bull rushed you into a corner before scooping you up and slathering you in a slew of kisses all over your face.
You started giggling feeling all too giddy with his lips all over and his hands roaming your waist, “Jake!” You couldn’t contain the laughter from the high of the interaction between you and him. God, you loved this man beyond measure.
“I love you soooo much.” He grinned once he pulled back. He made sure to go in for one, much longer, kiss on your lips before wrapping his
You kept on giggling not sure where this was all coming from. Not that you were complaining. Not in the slightest. It was refreshing to have a partner who was so forthcoming with how he felt. It was so different than any relationship you had been in prior.
“I love you too! Where’s this coming from?” You had to ask hoping it wouldn’t dampen his sweet mood.
“You packed me a lunch. Do you know how jealous the squadron was? Rooster couldn’t believe it. Phoenix was jealous as hell. Fanboy was all but begging for the sandwich you packed.” He snickered recalling the envious faces of his dagger coworkers.
You shook your head, “That was nothing babe.” You said as if it were nothing. Truth be told you were insecure about the whole thing. Not knowing if you overstepped a boundary or anything. The last time you tried to do something sweet like that for your ex you got scolded for wasting food because he didn’t ask you to pack him a lunch. You were careless and wasteful. You should’ve known it would’ve been different with Jake though. Everything was different when it came to Jake. The polar fucking opposite of the narcissistic guys you normally dated.
He shook his head setting you back down on the ground, “Nothing? Sweetheart! That was everything. Thank you. I love you.” He made sure to plant another soft, gentle kiss to your lips just to let you know how sincere he was being.
You grinned up to him, “Really, it was nothing.” You insisted before plating up dinner for the now two of you. You’d always made extra for lunch, so it wasn’t a hassle that he came. It was a pleasure to have his company when you were expecting to sit in silence or watch some silly rerun you’d seen a hundred times.
He eyed you knowing how hard it was for you to take compliments, “No sweetheart, that’s wifey material.” He watched your reaction seeing how’d you respond to that.
“Oh, is it?” You laughed it off setting a plate down in front of him at the table.
“Beyond.” He nodded before looking down at dinner, “And now my favorite for dinner? Like you were expecting me or something?” He gave you a grin knowing you loved the dish just as much as he did, “You’re spoiling me honey.”
You grabbed your own plate before joining him, “You deserve it. You do the same for me. Let me.”
He simply nodded his head happily grabbing at his fork, “If you insist.”
“Oh, I do babe, I do.” You gave his hand a gentle squeeze as the two of you fell into a comfortable rhythm taking about your day.
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The next day at work you’d gotten a few texts from numbers you weren’t familiar with. When you finally got a second at your own lunch break to check you broke out into a grin seeing the video Bradley had sent you.
Jake was showing off the lunch you packed him to the overly jealous group of pilots. Who were all sing songing your praises.
‘You’re so lucky. My girlfriend told me to pack my own damn lunch.’ A male voice you didn’t recognize came through making you laugh.
Natasha’s unmistakable voice came next, ‘She’s too good to you Hangman.’
‘Trust me, I know.’ You heard your loves own voice sending your heart into a literal tizzy. How could he think that? If anything, it was the other way around. He was too damn good to you. You just merely tried to return the favor.
Bradley sent the video with the text, ‘You spoil him you know that? He’s become extra insufferable these last few days with your lunch specials.’ Bradley made sure to end the text with a wink letting you know he was just playing with you.
You dialed Jake’s number not sure if he was back in the skies or not. But the quick answer let you know he was still available.
“Sweetheart! Is everything okay?” he asked almost nervous for your call to him.
“All good babe.” You were grinning ear to ear, “Bradley sent me a video, enjoy your lunch?”
He chuckled. A sound you’d come to cherish over the course of your relationship with him, “Darlin’, I loved your lunch. Love your lunches. I’ve never felt so happy eating a lunch before. I’m the luckiest guy in the world. I’m being serious.” He admitted quieting down with the second part of that statement probably trying to hide it from his dagger squad members.
“I’m glad you like it hon. Just wanted to check in.” You spoke with a full on happy little smile dancing across your face. You weren’t sure what good you did to deserve a love so pure as his but damn were you thrilled you snatched it up when you could. A love so secure and sure, so positive and pure.
He clicked his tongue, “I’m going to make it up to you, tonight.”
You retuned his laugh from earlier, “Jake, that’s hardly necessary.”
You were sure he was shaking his head, “See that’s where your wrong sweetheart. It’s very necessary. I want to. What’d you say last night? Let me spoil you? Well, let me spoil you pretty.”
You wished you were at home with him right now and not separated by miles and a base, “Alright, if you insist.” You joked along with him.
“I insist. And I think you’ll like it, the surprise that is.” His voice deepened hinting at one thing and one thing only.
You twirled your hair in your hand letting your mind wander just a tad. With a love so sure it was only natural things came easily between the two of you in the bedroom, “Any hints?” You teased along with him.
“I think you have an idea sweetheart.” He didn’t miss a beat letting you know exactly what he had in mind. You, him and a lack of clothing or something like that.
You sighed internally looking at the time, only half past one. The day was going to drag on, “Can’t wait.” You let out after a quick pity party for yourself.
He gave you one last deep chuckle, “You can’t? I can’t wait to see that beautiful face.” You knew he could get a lot more… graphic with it. But he was likely standing right next to Bradley or Bob, and it wasn’t the time nor place.
Pursing your lips you stifled the laugh, “I’ll see you at my place tonight?”
“I’ll see you. Be ready. Love you.”
“And I love you.” You hummed before ending the call. Shaking your head, you placed the phone on the desk next to you. Focus. Just focus on this case for the next four hours then you had a night to Jake. You could do this. You could. Jake would surely be the death of you though. But you just couldn’t care. You were going to let yourself be distracted and happy. You were in love with the best man for you. Oh how happy life could be.
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The Lonely Souls Club 1
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Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as stalking, loneliness, noncon, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Two lost souls cross, but not all those are lost, want to be found.
Characters: Bucky Barnes
Note: Idk, something a bit different.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)
I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖
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Bucky
She doesn’t see him but he sees her. He’s not hiding. He’s right there. If she just looked up, he’d be caught. But she doesn’t so he remains.
The pointed led scratches over the thick paper. Beside the open sketchpad is a plate of orange chicken and lo mein. He hasn’t touched either. His appetite has wandered away like his mind.
Carefully he etches the line of her nose. She carries a lot of her character there, as she scrunches it at whatever she’s reading then wiggles it as she reaches to sooth an itch. She never quite stops moving, like a hummingbird, she’s aflutter.
Mrs. Zhao comes by her table to deliver her food. A plate of dumplings steaming amid a bed of bean sprouts and broccoli. A quiet thank you is uttered but her eyes don’t meet the elder woman’s gaze. He notices how she can hardly look anywhere but the pages beneath her fingers. Her shield against the world around her.
She closes the book and slides it to the edge of the narrow table for two. She grabs the chopsticks and slides off the paper sleeve. She pulls, struggling to pry them apart only for the left one to break in two, still stuck to the other. Disappointment shadows her features and she lays the chopsticks down mournfully.
He scribbles, trying to capture her expression. He has several crowded onto the page; her pensive stare, her scowling focus, and the shadow of a smile that dimples her cheeks. She takes the fork and pokes at a dumpling. The sharp tines release a small plume of steam.
She uses the side to cut into the tender shell of the dumpling. She blows over a small morsel before tasting it. Her delight is plain as she chews slowly, savouring the taste. As he watches, he recalls his own frigid food.
He lets the notebook close on its own. He leaves it by his elbow, setting the pencil down to roll against its spine. He pulls his plate close, twirling a knot of noodles around his fork. He takes a bite and peeks over at her. 
He pretends that they sit together, that they’re eating at the same table. In some other world, they would be. This would be a sweet date he surprised her with and she would thank him with a smile. Her real smile, the one she chews on but doesn’t let free.
But this isn’t that world. This is reality and he’s just a stranger. She doesn’t know him. She hasn’t even noticed him sitting right there. He puts the fork down and sits back. His appetite curdles to hot bile. 
The loneliness is what he hates the most about this new world. The people around him move too fast, they’re all lost in themselves, they’re looking with seeing, talking without listening. It’s like they don’t even speak the same language.
He asks Mrs. Zhao for a to-go box. Another pile of leftovers to go with the rest. It’s habit. He hates to see a meal go wasted. He remembers the days of mustard sandwiches, when his mother scraped every grain of flour to make a loaf. Nearly a century. A hundred years lost, a life stolen. From him.
He packs up the noodles and the saucy chicken and snaps the lid shut. He doesn’t leave yet. She’s still eating. Just as deliberately as before. Her careful bites are self-conscious as she dabs a napkin to her lips now and again. She doesn’t finish hers either.
She accepts a box and a fresh set of chopsticks to take with her. She slides the remnants of her meal into the container and closes it, fingers squeezing the edges as she checks to make certain it’s secure. She doesn’t leave either. She lingers as she resumes her reading, just a few pages before she finishes the chapter.
She counts out a tip on the table top and stacks it by her empty plate. He tilts his head. She’s a creature out of time. Sort of like him. He always sees the plastic swiping or the tap of a watch that has the machine chirping. She’s old-fashioned, he likes that.
She uses the table to leverage herself to her feet. Her hips are slightly crooked as she stands and pulls on her light baby blue jacket. It’s long and belted at the waist but she leaves it open. She slips her book into her canvas bag and hangs it over her shoulder. She cradles the container in her arm, leaning on the chair before she takes her first step.
He noted that before. One leg seems longer than the other as she limps across the quiet restaurant. She doesn’t seem bothered by her uneven gait, she simply goes on. She stops by the door and looks at the little figurine; a smiling cat waving an arm.
He puts his head down and listens to her departure. He looks down at his gloves hands, turning over his left as a glint of metal peeks out below the sleeve. Someone like him can be fixed but she’s there, with her small steps, forgotten.
He gets up so quickly, he hits his leg on the table. He hurriedly gathers up his sketchbook and clutches it against his leftovers. He waves to Mrs. Zhao as he marches out but can’t untangle his voice from his chest. He doesn’t want to lose her. He can’t lose another thing.
In the street, he catches sight of her blue coat. She’s not very quick as it is. He can easily keep up but he doesn’t want to meet her pace. She can’t see him. Not yet.
He rounds the corner nearly a block back from her. He pauses to feign interest in a window as she clutches her hip and slows. She stops not much further down as a bearded man sits against the brick with a cup jingling in his hand. She speaks so quietly, even the man on the pavement has to lean in. If it wasn’t for the laboratory torture, Bucky wouldn’t hear her either.
She’s sorry that she spent all her change but he can have the food. At first, the man’s face twists, he doesn’t seem happy with that. Then he accepts as if he can’t bear to deny her. Who could?
“Thanks, lady,” the man sounds like a buzzard.
She nods and wishes him a good day, as good as it can be, she adds. Then she’s off again.  
As Bucky trails her, he’s reminded of someone else. Of someone who once needed him. His protection and care. Just another person who abandoned him. The one person who could’ve understood him. Gone, just like everything else.
He tucks his chin down, eyes narrowing on the woman. Target acquired. He shakes off that thought, that worrying echo of the past. He’s not the machine they made him. He’s still a man. Alone and broken, just like they left him.
Like her.
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Her
Just along the crooked and cracked walk, behind the overgrown bush, there lays the peeling door behind the creaky metal grate. It’s a grim scene but sometimes you pretend it’s a hidden entrance and that you’re unlocking the passage to some fantastical world. You twist the key, wiggling it before it catches, and you pull as hard as you can.
The wrought iron is heavy and one of the bars juts out enough to catch your sleeve. You use your shoulder to hold the outer door open as you unlock the second. You stumble inside, your hip achy and overworked. You close both doors tight, cranking the deadbolts back into place.
The rain will come soon. It’s why you wore your jacket. You expected it to come earlier but you’re glad it didn’t. The change in pressure always wracks your bones.
You hang the baby blue coat as you put your canvas bag on the worn wicker seat of the chair beside the door. The apartment is small but it’s all yours. The single room is a kitchen, bedroom, and everything else but the bathroom. That is barely more than a closet.
There’s a thump from above. Several as the neighbours’ toddler barrels around. You should’ve waited until after nap time to leave.
You leave your boots on the woven mat and fish out the novel from your bag. You limp across to the folding couch, still a bed as you hadn’t bothered to roll away the flimsy mattress. You lower yourself onto it, pulling a pillow behind you as you recline.
Your pelvis is sore. The chair in the restaurant wasn’t very comfortable, though the food was good for the cost. You don’t eat out very often. Not really at all but it’s your birthday and you wanted to do something special.
You open the pages and quickly dive back into another life. A world where magic can weave miracles but tempts a dangerous darkness in its use. No good thing comes without a price.
You slump down as you read. The sunlight slowly fades as the clouds shift and the din deepens. You close the book as you look across the room at the floor lamp. The small distance across the room seems akin to Tolkien’s infamous trek. You don’t want to get up, you just want to sleep in the damp afternoon.
You sigh and put the book beside you. You rub your eyes and forehead and bend one leg, then the other. Your muscles are taut and protest with a dull burn. You can’t read in the dark, you’ll get another headache.
You groan and push yourself to sit on the edge of the mattress. The slender frame echoes you sharply as you stand. Your right foot comes down heavier than the left as you cross the space. You flick on the light and flinch as a storm cloud seems to pass over your very window.
You turn to face the gap between the curtains. How strange. You near the pane as rain speckles on the outside. You peer up at the slat of sky visible between the rooftops. 
You twitch again as you hear something mulch. You whip your head to the side as you look towards the bush. It could be a critter hiding in the bin, no time to find their nest as the storm rises.
You back away, puffing out your fright. Living alone makes you paranoid, even if you prefer it. You live by your own rules, your own schedule, your own whims. The problem is, you’re finding it difficult to figure all those out. You don’t know what you want.
You sit again and rub your lower back. The only thing you can name, you can’t have. The pain is your eternal companion. The looks you get when you venture out are just as persistent. You felt those curious, somewhat dejecting, glances today. You don’t care if they think you walk a bit oddly, you just don’t like to be looked at.
You turn your head to gaze longingly at the kettle. It’s the perfect weather for tea and you forgot to get a cup of green at the restaurant. Yet, it’s a very far way to go, then back again to wait for the water to steam.
You relent. You stand up and go to the small counter set into the wall. You flip on the electric kettle and lean on the chipped laminate. The toddler’s footsteps rumble like thunder overhead and the shadows once more stir behind you.
You turn to face the apartment, hands curled around the counter’s edge. The steady drip of the eaves form a tempo as the rain spatters harder against the window, rattling it in the wooden frame. The doors quiver too as the tempest blows into the alley.
You used to like rainstorms, before they made you hurt so much. Before they seemed so dark. You used to like a lot of things before you were broken. Those days seem very far behind you. Sometimes, you wonder if they ever were.
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silverstar70 · 2 months
Text
Fandom: Criminal minds Character: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader
Author's note: English isn't my first language, i apologize for any mistakes. This is set after 10x21 ending.
Summary: Hotch finds a way to deal with what Mr.Scratch and Y/N is happy to help and comforts him.
Warnings: estabilished relationship, smut, rough sex, vaginal sex, consensual sex, voice kink, praise kink, orgasm control, spanking, vaginal fingering, non consensual drug use, mind control, hurt/confort, blood and violence, character death
Words count: 5,466k Hope you like it and let me know what you think! Enjoy it!
What do you want?
Hotch was sitting in the ambulance with Dave near him. He was trying to get him to talk to know what had happened in that house before they arrived, but every attempt was wasted. Hotch seemed to be on another planet. Y/N walked away from Morgan and JJ and headed to the ambulance. When Rossi saw Y/N, he went up to her, leaving Hotch alone.
“He didn’t say anything. Maybe you’ll get luckier.”
“I’ll bring him home and talk to him” he nodded and kissed Y/N goodbye on her forehead before leaving her behind and join the rest of the team. She walked to Hotch and offered him her hand.
“Let’s go home” she said softly. He looked up to her for a moment with his eyes full of pain and sadness but didn’t say anything. He just took her hand tightly than she expected and got up, ready for her to bring him home.
The car ride was silent. It was like Hotch wasn’t even there, Y/N occasionally looked toward him just to make sure he was okay. She was sicked worried and didn’t know what to do to help him.
“Jack is staying with Jessica tonight. I thought it was for the best” she informed him but only received a mumbled okay. She kept driving until they arrived at his building. Parked the car and went straight to his apartment.
Once inside, Y/N went to prepare something to eat for both of them while Hotch crushed on the couch still fully dressed. Neither of them was hungry but they hadn’t eaten anything since that morning. When she was done, she put a plate in front of him with some leftovers and a scrambled eggs but he refused to eat.
“Hotch, babe, you need to eat something. At least try, please” he remained silent once again.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” she asked caressing his cheek but only got a no as answer. An hour passed and he still hadn’t touched his food. Standing, leaning against the wall that separated the living room from the dining room, Y/N was watching Hotch laying on the couch with his eyes fixed on the ceiling. She wanted to help him but all he was doing was shutting her out.
“You don’t wanna talk. You don’t wanna eat. What do you wanna do, Aaron?”
After a moment he sat on the couch and looked at her with a smirk.
“I wanna fuck you until tomorrow morning. You won’t be able to walk later.” He said serious keeping looking into her eyes.
“I’m serious Hotch” at that he stood up from the couch and walked slowly towards her, no leaving her look.
“So am I” he said with a low voice. He stopped a few steps away from her and he stretched out his arms against the wall. Y/N was trapped between his body and the wall, and his arms prevented her from leaving.
He bent his head forward, resting his lips on hers, but she coolly returned the kiss. His stubbornness was driving her crazy and she didn’t wanna gave up that easily but, slowly, pleasure begun to take place in her body. Hotch kept softly kissing her down her neck.
“I wanna hear you moan my name, Y/N” his low voice was making her wetter that she would’ve liked to admit. She was holding back her moaning whenever he kissed her and his look full of lust was begging her to give up. “I wanna make you cum so many times. You’ll beg me to stop.”
He kissed her one more time down her neck and then caressed her cheek gently. She wanted him right there and he knew it. He bent near her ear, while one of his hands founded place on her hip.
“Don’t resist me, baby.”
A shiver of pleasure ran down her spine. She took his head in her hands, paying attention to the wound on his cheekbone, and kissed him intensely for several moments. He squeezed her against his body grabbing her by the hips and she felt his erection pressing against her. She jumped on him, wrapping her legs around his waist without breaking the kiss. He moaned in the kissed while holding her under her cheekbutts.
"Fuck, I love you so much” Hotch said against her lips as he carried her to the bedroom.
“Then show me” she replied provoking him. He hurried to the room, slamming the door behind him with his foot and slamming Y/N against it while still holding her. While her hands were in his hair, he kissed her roughly on her neck. She moaned softly and every time she did that, she felt his hardening cock under her.
Hotch pulled her away from the door and laid her on the bed, covering her body with his. His look was full of lust and craving, his eyes dark and intense. She was almost afraid of it, yet excitement kept growing for them both.
A hand slipped under her sweater, and her body recoiled at his cold touch. He slipped off her sweater and throw it away, revealing her naked chest. She started to unblock his belt while he was kissing her leaving hickeys all over her chest and neck. She then started working on his shirt, which she slipped off and dropped to the ground. He unbuttoned her jeans and slowly slipped them down her legs, not letting her gaze go.
“You’re perfect” he whispered to himself. She was enjoying the view of him standing at the end of the bed, in all his beauty, and unintentionally she began biting her lower lip. He also removed her panties before settling between her legs. He was covering her body with his once again and bent on her leaving wet kisses on her neck. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her hands started traveling along his strong back.
“You’ll do everything I say, including when cumming” he whispered in her ear while one of his hands slipped between their body reaching her center.
“And what if I don’t listen?” Y/N answered back with a provoking smile. Hotch roughly pushed two fingers inside her, as deep as he could taking her by surprise. He started to move them in circle making her gasped while enjoying the look of pure pleasure on her face.
“You don’t wanna find out” he begun to move faster, going deeper and deeper. He was enjoying himself watching her orgasm starting to build but didn’t wanna gave her one so soon, he slowed down making her groaned.
“You still have your pants on” she said between moans.
“Don’t worry about it” he kissed her roughly on the lips before pulling out his fingers and tasted her. “I wanna please you before I destroy you.”
He pushed back his finger inside and begun to move faster, building her orgasm. She moaned loudly and soon his other hand was on her mouth to stop her from being loud. She was so close to cum and he was torturing her.
“Please Hotch” she lamented.
“Please what? I didn’t say you could cum.” he kept going faster, back and forth. He was building her orgasms once again and she was desperate. She needed the release. He knew she was close; he was feeling it how she was clenching around him.
“Hold still.” She did what she was told but was failing, he decided to give in. “Cum for me, babe.”
She moaned out loud as a wave of pleasure was leaving her. She arched her back with Hotch’s fingers still inside her but he didn’t stop and started to move his finger again riding her orgasm. In a mere of seconds, she was close again.
“One more time, Y/N” he ordered in a low voice. That damn voice. She felt weak every time he used it. She came hard and loud for the second time that evening. Y/N felt like her body was leaving her and her mind went black. She loved how he made her feel, she loved even more how he made her cum.
 When she calmed down, he pulled his fingers out and kissed her forehead softly. He got up form the bed and disappear in the bathroom for a few seconds coming back with Y/N bathrobe’s belt. He took off his boxers and climbed on the bed pulling apart her legs so he could stand in between.
“Now, I wanna fuck you. And you won’t be able to touch me.”
That bastard. He knew she loved touching him, feeling his muscles tensing under her hands. He tied her wrists, not tight to hurt but tight enough to block her and pinned them over her head with one hand. With his free hand he slid his cock inside her, deep. They both groaned at the feeling.
Giving her very little time to adjust to his size, he started moving fast and deep for a sever mere of time. Holding her tight by her wrists, he bent over her groaning in her ears knowing she loved it. She was getting wetter and wetter and felt her orgasm building in the stomach. She was clenching around him which gave him a lot of pleasure, and he let her know by groaning louder.
“Aaron, p-please” she moaned “I-I’m close.”
He stopped and put a hand around her throat, without tightening.
“You’re not gonna cum yet.”
He pulled himself up and started fucking her again, going harder and deeper every time more. With a devilish smile on his face, he was looking down at his lover being overwhelmed by pleasure and completely at his mercy. He loved her so much, he loved how she was letting him using her in that moment.
She was a strong and independent woman and never in a million years she would bend over a man wants. But when it came to him, that was a different story. She loved to be dominated by him in bed and he loved doing it.
“My God, Aaron. P-please let me cum” she tried to say between moanings. With each thrust she felt losing control over her body. He grabbed her hips tightly and moved faster, ready to give her all the pleasure. Giving her a nod, that was all the permission she needed to cum.   
“Oh, fuck” she cried out loud, almost losing her voice. Hotch slowed down but didn’t stop until she calmed down once again. He bent to kiss her gently on her soft lips as to remind her, her Aaron was still there.
The belt around her wrist had tightened too much due to her squirming so he quickly untied her and started caressing her wrist. She noticed the worrying on his face and grab his head between her hands pulling him down, over her body, and kissed him again.
“I’m fine, honey” Y/N reassured him with a soft voice looking into his beautiful hazel eyes.
“You sure?” she nodded and received a quick kiss from him “Good. Because I’m not done”
He stood from the bed and helped Y/N doing the same. Without giving her time to say anything, he quickly bent her over the bed pulling her legs apart. Standing behind her, he pulled her hips onto him and entered hard and deep inside her.
“You’ll be a good girl and not cum until I said so. Understood?” he asked her and when she didn't answer right away, he slapped her ass hard enough to make her gasp "Understood?"
“Yes, yes I understood” she replied in excitement and a little pain. She was sure she had his handprint on her butt but couldn’t care less.
“Good girl” she could imagine the grin he had on his face. He started pounding her again from behind, holding her hips tight. He was groaning in pleasure not afraid of being loud for her to hear it. She loved hearing him moaning, it was so erotic and greeting to know he was comfortable enough to not holding back.
The room was filled by their skin slapping against each other and their loud moanings. She was holding tight on the sheets to try to control her body and wait for him to give her the permission to cum. She was close, so damn close.
“Don’t. Cum.”
“P-please, Hotch” Y/N begged whispering, not being able to control her body anymore. He stopped abruptly, taking a breath, and giving her time to cool down. He bent over Y/N and started kissing her spine, from the lower back up to the back of her neck.
She shivered at the feeling, he was kissing her like she was the most precious thing made of glass. Hotch loved being rough with her but being able to connect just by simple touches, soft kisses and small talking was something he would always love more.
“Cum with me” he whispered softly in her ear and she nodded. He stood one more time and interlocked their fingers taking her hands behind her back. He moved faster back and forth, never leaving her hands. Every thrust was perfectly placed, knowing full well what the effects on her body were.
She was craving the orgasm and Hotch’s could take it anymore. She was clenching around him and he was fighting to gain some control. Seconds later she came hard followed by him.
“Oh God!” they groaned in union. He released her hands and kissed her shoulder, gently caressing her side with his fingertips.
“Wait here” he whispered and gave her one last peck on her back before pulling out slowly, she gasped at the loss of contact but didn’t move. He quickly disappeared in the bathroom and soon she heard the water running.
“Let’s take a quick shower” he suggested reentering the room. Helping her getting up, Hotch saw she was walking funny and smiled to himself.
“Don’t laugh. Aaron”
“I wouldn’t dare it” she walked past him with a death stare and headed to the bathroom while he was enjoying seeing the effects of the previous performance on her. Hotch suppressed a laugh and followed her.
They entered together in the shower with the water running on their body. No sexual touch was shared just soft petting, tender kisses and so much love and admiration. He gently caressed the handprint he left on her ass while kissing her soft lips. Her hands were running throw his hairs pulling him closer.
“Hope I didn’t hurt you.”
“No. I liked it” she smiled and his lips was on her once again.
They finished showering and went back to the bedroom where they put some clothes on. He was only in boxers and she was wearing one of his t-shirt and her panties. They climbed under the cover, with Y/N on his right side, tangled to each other.
With her head on his chest, Y/N could feel his strong heartbeat. It had always calmed her on the bad days, whenever she felt down, he was ready to comfort her and hugged her tight on his chest. It became a habit to fall asleep listening to his heartbeat and he was happy that it worked.
Before going to sleep, Y/N needed to make sure he was okay. She knew he wouldn’t want to talk but she hoped that after the amazing sex he was more willing to do it.
“It was amazing” he broke the silence while playing with her hair.
“It really was” she looked up to him and smiled. Careful to his wound, she caressed gently his left cheek and looked for some sign of discomfort but didn’t notice any.
“It still hurts?” she worried. Hotch took her hand and gently kissed her palm before answering.
“Not much”
“Good. So…” she started carefully “Do you wanna talk about what happened tonight?”
“No” he answered back without thinking twice. She didn’t insist and let it go. Y/N knew he was scared and that he would have talked whenever was ready, but she also wanted to let him know that she was there for him, for the goods and the bads.
“I don’t wanna force you, just know that I’m here for you. Whatever you need.” He nodded and went back at staring at the ceiling while softly petting her side. They stayed like that for what felt like hours, neither of them could sleep. He was too overwhelmed by what had happened that night and she was too worried that if she closed her eyes something bad would happen to him, again.
“He made me see things.” he mumbled after sitting on the side of the bed, with his back to Y/N. He was resting the head between his hands trying to control his tears that were ready in his eyes. He soon felt Y/N’s arms hugging him from behind and smiled when she kissed the back of his head.
“It’s okay, babe. It’s over now” he took a deep breath and kept going as she moved sitting near him, turned to him.
“You guys were all death. You died because of me” her heart broke at seeing him so vulnerable and hurt. One of Y/N’s hand was running toward his hair, while the other was caressing his hand. She was looking at him with a worried sight.
“What happened in that house, Hotch?” she asked carefully.
“I was sitting on the floor in the office, hurt and drugged. You went in separately a-and…” he paused for a second, scared to reliving those moments “JJ and Reid were the first to die. He took them by surprise, they couldn't even defend themselves. Then he killed Rossi and Morgan”
He looked toward her and she saw all the pain in his eyes. He watched his team die in front of him but Y/N knew he wasn’t done. She wiped the tear that had fallen on his cheek and smile softly when he kissed her knuckles.
“What happened later?” his eyes were glassy one again. He took him a few seconds before answering that.
“He killed you” he looked down, between his feet, not being able to bear her look at the moment “You had found me. You were there in front of me w-when he shot you. He shot you twice and your blood was all over me. I couldn’t help you. I couldn’t help any of you.”
Y/N hugged him tightly to her chest to make him feel her presence. He broke down and started crying in her arms pulling her even closer if possible. He needed to feel her, to make sure she was there in his arms and that it was real.
“It’s over. I’m right here, honey” Y/N tried to reassure him the best she could, caressing his back the way she knew he liked. Hotch calmed down after a few minutes and pulled out from the hug to looked at her.
“It was so real. Watching you and the team die. The thought of watch my team die always scared me and now I get to see what it would look like. I know it’s a risk of the job b-but…I can’t lose you Y/N. Or the team. Not the way I lost Haley.”
“He got into your head. It was what he wanted, taking control. But you don’t have to let him do it again. We arrested him, it’ over. Don’t give him more power. I’m so sorry you had to go through that and I’m sorry I’ve arrived too late but please never doubt yourself.” She stopped for a moment to kiss him hard on the lips and to wipe away another tear from his cheek.
“You’re an amazing team leader, you always have your team’s back. They count on you, they respect you but more that this, they trust you, Aaron. As a leader, of course, but also as a friend. I know how your feeling, I’ve been there too but I’m sure that when the time will come, you’ll do everything in your power to protect your team.”
Without hesitation, he leaned over to close the gap between them and kissed her lips holding her head in his strong hands. He deepened the kissed wanting to feel more of her. Laying her back on the bed, he was over her once again, but this time felt different. He just wanted to feel her close, nothing sexual, just a pure connection and innocent kisses and touches.
“Wanna go for it again?” Y/N joked.
“No. Just wanna cuddle” he answered honestly and she nodded. They climbed under the covers one more time spooning, and Hotch wrapped her in a tight hug around her waist holding her impossibly closer to him.
His mind was playing games with him and it would take a while to move on, but right there he was in peace. He had in his arms one of two of the most important person in his life. She was alive and safe and that was the only thing that mattered to him. He fell asleep minutes after her with a smile on his face.
*
The next morning, she woke up to his soft snoring and turned toward him after checking the time. The light of the sun coming through the window was still weak so they could stay in bed for a few more hour but no mattered how much she tried she couldn’t stay in bed anymore. Carful not to wake him, she headed quickly to the bathroom and then straight to the kitchen. Y/N was planning to make Hotch some homemade blueberries pancakes that she knew he would’ve loved.
She found everything she needed and prepared on the kitchen counter. There was always food at Hotch’s, unlike at hers. She was barely at home, not just because she practically lived with the Hotcners but mostly because she was always at work if she weren’t with them.
She always put her job first, that was how she grow up. Y/N traveled at lot since she was a kid due to her parent’s job and then when she joined the Navy she just kept traveling around the world. She never had a place to call home, just empty houses. Never stayed in the same city for more than a few years and she was okay with it. She was more that happier to keep living liked that and then she met Hotch.
For the first time in a long time, she stopped traveling and had a place that felt like home. It wasn’t easy at first, she wasn’t used to it but for Hotch was worth a try. She was enjoying her new life; she still had her job but it didn’t require to travel that much anymore.
While thinking about her life, she finished preparing the pancakes and an hour or so had passed. She headed back in the bedroom and stopped in her track looking at Hotch. He looked peaceful and vulnerable and the sheet, that only covered him to his waist, left his scarred torso exposed.
She knew what had happened with Foyet but that hadn’t never changed her feelings for him and she make sure to remind him how much she loved him and how sexy and handsome he was. He hardly believed he was sexy or handsome but secretly loved when Y/N tell him.
She climbed back in the bed, carefully to not wake him and stayed in silence for a few minutes just enjoying the view. She started placing a few soft kisses down his neck getting a low groan from him, she moved on the shoulder before straddling him. He opened his eyes slowly, even though his body was betraying him and full awake.
She leaned down to kiss his lips, attentively placing one hand on his wounded cheekbone. His hands through her hair were pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. She felt his body react under her and smiled at the sensation.
“Good morning, Agent Hotchner”
“Good morning, Lieutenant Y/L/N”
“I made pancakes” she informed him.
“It can wait” he said smirking and without giving her time to reply, he rolled them over ending on top of her. She gasped at the sudden move but wasn’t complaining. His hands were wandering under her t-shirt, touching her tits and making her moaned. Immediately he took it off and threw it away somewhere across the room.
He bent to kiss her neck and went down on her chest taking a nipple in his mouth and massaging the other. She arched her back and groaned at the feeling. He was good with his hands. He continued his way down her body, leaving wet kisses here and there on her torso. Once he got at her entrance, he moved her panties to the side and slipped a single finger into her wetness.
“You’re so wet, baby” she groaned begging him to do something, anything. He started moving slowly back and forth doing small circles but stopping right before the release. He wanted to savor the moment and had planned to do it by edging her.
“Aaron please?” she lamented pulling on his hair.
“Not yet”
He moved his finger up on her clit and began circling it, fastening the pace to his own liking, doing smaller and smaller circles but stopping as soon as she got too close to the edge. He began his assault with his tongue too making her moaned at the sudden contact. Sucking hard for a few minutes before sliding two fingers inside her making even more difficult for her not to come right away. Y/N was almost dripping as he was using his fingers to fuck her. When she begged for him, he stopped moving again.
“You bastard” she mumbled to herself. His erection was growing just by hearing her moaning. He needed to be inside her as much as she needed him. He went back overing her, she took his head and pulled him in for a kiss. Y/N could taste herself on his lips and moaned.
“I wanna make love with you, Y/N” he whispered against her lips. She smiled nodding, giving him the permission he needed before he slowly slid into her. Her body reacted like it was the first time, like he hadn’t fucked her senseless the night before. They groaned in unison.
He started going slow and deep, making her moaned loudly for hitting all the right spots. Y/N wrapped her legs around his waist to give him a better angle to go deeper.
“Oh God, baby” he groaned in her ear, feeling her get tighter around him. He started moving faster pounding her deeper, sending her over the edge.
“Oh fuck!” He didn’t stop, riding her orgasm to give her one more. She was holding on his shoulders scratching them with the nails, as pleasure was overwhelming her body. He was groaning into her neck trying to gain some control.
“I-I’m close…” she came again within seconds and with a few more thrusts he came deep inside her, groaning loudly.
“Oh yes, baby” he rolled off her and laid on the bed, both trying to catch their breath. He pulled her on his chest and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. They staid in bed for a little while, planning what to do in the next few days, deciding what to tell Jack about his father wound and forgetting soon about the pancakes. The silence of the room was broken by Hotch’s stomach rumbling and they both laughed.
“There was a mention of pancakes, was it?”
“Oh yeah! They’re waiting for you. And so are the blueberries” he smiled widely at the mention of his favorite fruit. They headed together to the kitchen after putting some clothes on. While Hotch was sitting at counter, Y/N was assembling their plates. Three pancakes each, with a few more blueberries on top and maple syrup.
“Don’t look at me like that, Hotchner.”
“Like what?”
“Like you want to fuck me right here, right now.” he laughed at the comment as she put the plate in front of him and sat in chair next to his.
“I was just thinking how much I like this, having you around.” she blushed and smiled.
“I like this too. I like even more making you and Jack blueberries pancakes in the morning and spending the days with you. I never thought I would’ve love this life style but now I can’t live without it.” He smiled and took her hand in his to kiss it tenderly.
“I love you, Y/N”  
“I love you too, Aaron”
They shared another intense kiss when Hotch’s stomach rumbling interrupted.
“Now let’s eat because I’m starving.”
Once they finished, Hotch washed the plates while Y/N was sitting at the counter enjoying the view of his perfect ass and the way his t-shirt was perfectly hugging his back and biceps. She was daydreaming and didn’t notice that Hotch was done.   
“Now who’s the one with the “I wanna fuck you” look?” he moved back near her while mocking her and sat on the chair.
“Wait here” she disappeared in the bedroom and came back with a few stuffs he couldn’t identify and put them on the counter. “We need to clean your wound.”
Right. He had forgotten about it, but he didn’t have the time to protest that she was already standing between his legs with disinfectant and gauzes in hand. She was quick and careful before putting a small band-aid on it. She kissed him on his forehead before starting to massage his temple, because she knew he needed but was too stubborn to ask.
“Thank you”
“You’re welcome. Just ask me whenever you need it”
“I-I meant…Thank you for being my rock, for respecting my boundaries and not forcing me to talk about last night. I could’ve done it without you. But I need to tell you something.”
“What?” she asked a bit worried.
“I didn’t have sex with you last night because I wanted to have sex but because I wanted to have control over something. I needed to have control over something. Peter Lewis made me felt so powerless and weak, he got into my head and used my biggest fear against me, and I was stuck, I couldn’t do anything to stop him. You were there and sex was the only thing I though could’ve give me back some sort of control.”
He stopped and searched for some kind of reaction from Y/N but found none.
“I’m so sorry. I should have talked to you instead.”
Silence filled the room; she was still standing between him. Hotch was expecting the worst, she had every right to get mad and could’ve blamed her. For sure, he wasn’t expecting what happened next.
“Did it work?” the question took him off guard and gave her a questioning look. “The sex. Did it give you some control back?”
“Yes. For a little while at least”
“Then you don’t have anything to apologize for. If sex was what you needed, I’m happy I was there.”
“But..” he started but she interrupted
“No buts. You didn’t force me to do anything if this is what you’re worrying about. I was completely fine with it; it was what you needed. And I knew that if I ever felt uncomfortable you would’ve stopped right away, without even asking you. Am I right?”
“Of course. I would never hurt you intentionally.”
“Good” Y/N leaned quickly peck his lips and caressed his cheek “You’re a good man, Aaron Hotchner. Never doubt it.”
“Thank you”
“But if you ever forget it, I’ll be happy to remind it to you. In every way I see fit”
He laughed and pulled her closer to him to share a passionate kiss, there in the kitchen. Oh, how much he loved that woman, never in a million years he thought he would’ve been so lucky. He had this beautiful woman in his arms that loved him as much as he loved her, and this scared him to death because he didn’t want to ruing things.
For a moment his mind went to Jack and thought of how much they’ve liked each other from the very first moment. Hotch loved watching the two of them interacting, and loved having her around. Sometimes it still felt like a dream, but it was very real. Y/N was there, and she was his. Well not yet, but one day he would marry that woman.
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all-too-random · 7 months
Text
We Don't Waste Food
Sanji Vinsmoke (OPLA) x reader
Sanji notices that you haven't been eating very much.
TW: Reader is implied to be in the process of recovering from an ED. The type/reasoning behind it has purposefully been left vague. Mentions of thr0wing up/feeling sick. Sanji wants to help but may do so in a way that not everyone finds helpful. Also he's kind of pushy in the beginning.
A/N: This is a very self indulgent fic based on my own struggles. If it is something you relate to and this helps, I am glad you found some comfort in it/sorry you relate. If you dont, please be kind anyway :) Also this is my first ever x reader fic in 7 years of writing fanfiction.
"I'm full," the sound glass scraping against wood rang throughout the dining cabin as you pushed your plate out of the way, glancing nervously at your lap, "Anyone who wants my leftovers can have them." Luffy reached across the table, already grabbing for the food on the plate. Sanji's hand reached it first, though, and the blonde chef made eye contact with you as he pushed the plate back to your spot. "Y/N, darling," he said. He was smiling, but his stare portrayed a more serious expression, "We don't waste food." You crossed your arms over your chest, your eyes meeting his blue ones, "I'm not trying to be wasteful, that's why I offered it up. I knew someone would want-" He cut you off, smile disappearing, "You need to eat it yourself. It's your favorite, I made it just for you." You nodded once, acknowledging the effort he put in, "And it was delicious. But now I'm full." There was a certain bitterness to your words, causing Sanji to hesitate. The rest of the crew looked on silently, exchanging nervous glances at one another as the scene played out. You barely paid them any notice, keeping your eyes locked on Sanji as you shoved yourself away from the table and stood up. "We don't waste food. So someone else can eat it, I'm not going to."
Your boots thudded against the wooden floor of the ship as you stomped away, suddenly feeling the need for fresh air. You didn't stop until you were at the edge of the deck. The wind whipped your hair around and you watched the sky turn orange against the clear water as the sun set on the horizon. Tears pricked at your eyes. They rolled over your cheeks despite your attempts to sniff them away, so you gave up. You were alone, anyway. No reason to hide your tears out here. They just didn't get it, you thought. Although it's not like you had ever tried explaining it to them before. You never meant to waste food. You just couldn't stop it. No matter how hungry you felt beforehand, your appetite seemed to wither the second food was in front of you. More than half a portion made you feel sick, and throwing your meals up into the sea felt worse than just offering it to someone who would it eat.
"Nice evening, isn't it madam?" You whipped your head around, quickly trying to wipe the tears from your face. Sanji stood several feet behind you, smiling once again, but still with a grim aire about him. "Yes, it is," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady as you turned back towards the ocean, "Very peaceful." You could hear the heels of the chef's shoes clicking against the wood until he appeared right next to you, resting his elbows on the edge of the ship. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him looking at you, studying your features. "I'm still not hungry," you told him, and you couldn't decide whether or not it was a lie. You were hungry, or at least, you should be. But you knew no more food would stay in your stomach for long. Sanji chuckled, dipping his head down, "Well, I gathered that much, love. I just can't figure out why. Only a banana for breakfast and nothing at lunch, by all means, you should be starving." You looked at him, eyebrows crinkled in confusion, "You know what I ate?" "I keep track," he says, shrugging his shoulders, "Helps me with my meal planning. I thought for sure you'd have a good dinner tonight, especially since I made something I knew you'd love." "I did love it," you admitted to him, sighing into the wind, "I just... don't eat much. It's hard." "Hard to eat?" He raised an eyebrow at you, "It shouldn't be, we have plenty of-" "Not like that," you cut him off, waving your hand through the air, "I know we have food, I just can never hold much of it. When I was younger, I forced myself not to eat... and I must have gotten good at it, because now I can't. And I hate it, because I get so hungry only to push food away, and I feel so wasteful." You could feel tears threatening to fall again, so you laughed, trying to act like there was nothing upsetting about the situation whatsoever. Sanji, however, did not laugh. He looked at you with sad eyes, which was even more intense since the wind was pushing his hair out of his face, meaning you could see both of them. It was quiet for a moment, with no noise but the waves lapping at the bottom ship. Then, the chef let out a sigh, opening his arms. You fell into him, burying your face into his pin-striped shirt. His strong arms immediately wrapped around you, his chin resting gently atop your head. "Thank you for telling me," he said quietly, placing a kiss against your hair, "I'm sorry I pushed you so hard." "It's alright," you whispered back, allowing yourself to cry on him, "You didn't know." He squeezed you tighter, "Well, now that I do know, I'm still worried about you. The way you've been eating still isn't healthy. I'll start giving you smaller portions, so you don't have to feel wasteful. And when you're ready, I'll gradually give you more. Like baby steps. Can you agree to that, my dear?" Pain shot through the inside of your cheek as you bit down, thinking his words over. Recovery was hard, but Sanji was willing to help.... You nodded your head, accepting the offer, "Little, tiny baby steps." Sanji laughed softly, running his fingers through your hair, "Sure, little, tiny baby steps. Whatever it takes, love. Would dessert be a good start?" He raised an eyebrow at you, and you laughed, "Well, that depends... what kind of dessert?"
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