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icedmatchatae · 1 year

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Glimpse of Us | KTH Chapter IX: Hear Me Out

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS’s V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: this was long for no reason lol, LOTS of crying in a one night, mentions of substance use and alcoholism, brief description of therapy, hints of depression and anxiety, the media is the absolute worse, mentions of panic attacks, a very emotional yet soft flashback, brief description of past infidelity (just want to hug oc :c), very brief mention of unexpected pregnancy (don't worry, it's none of them), insecurities on maintaining a relationship, Seojoon is back ayeee, verbal fighting

Word Count: 12.8k

Chapter IX: Hear Me Out || Series Masterlist

Settling down a glass of water and a plate of leftover homemade cookies in front of Taehyung, you both sat at your futon table, sitting across from one another. After you calmed him down, you knew he never wanted to be alone after an episode. You suggested bringing him home, but he refused and told you to not tell anyone what had happened. So ultimately, you brought him to your small apartment.

You still made sure that the unconscious men were still alive, and they all had pulses. The liquid that the first blacked-out men were on top of was soju. They probably would have forgotten what happened, so you escaped the premises holding a partially drunk Taehyung before someone caught you.

He muttered a thank you before drinking the water in one go and taking a cookie to help him sober up. Only the chewing and crunching from Taehyung cracked through the air as vocal silence was somewhat necessary after the events.

While he did so and stared at the bitten treat, you played with your fingers as you eyed around your apartment. Though he didn’t mind, you were a bit embarrassed showing him where exactly you lived. Everywhere screamed skeptical and empty. You couldn’t help but compare it with his multi-billion won high-security house with a fucking nice backyard.

“Sorry if…uhh, my apartment’s not much.” You didn’t know why you had to apologize for your living situation. It wasn’t your fault.

Looking up from the baked good, he found you and your cheeks fairly pink while doing your habit. He fuddled while lifting a brow. “You don’t need to apologize. If anything, I should be thanking you for bringing me here.”

“But still…you’re not used to this type of lifestyle.” You shrugged awkwardly. “I don’t even have a couch.”

“___, I could care less if we used the floor as a table or you used your hands to scoop the water I’m drinking.”

You nodded, staying quiet. However, you grew more lax with his reassurance, even letting out a sigh of relief. You watched him pop the remnants of sweet before taking another one from the plate. He looked rather functional, but of course, still infused with alcohol. You didn’t really speak after you sang the song together. He merely followed you silently while you said short instructions.

“How are you feeling now?” You asked softly, a tinge of worry dipped into your asking.

He stopped the cookie mid-way from his mouth before closing it. He placed the dessert back down and sighed, “Thank you for saving me back there. Who knows what would have happened to me if you weren’t there.” He pushed the plate away from him. “You didn’t need to though, could have left me to suffer the consequences.”

“Please, no. Taehyung, you were having a panic attack.” You disagreed, couldn’t even imagine not helping. “I couldn’t leave you like that. I would have done that to anyone.”

To anyone…right. The idol hummed, taking in your statement. “Guess you helped me escape from the law, my lovely accomplice.” He quipped with a smirk. You rolled your eyes before a small grin crept on your face. “You should know you’re still one of the only people who knows how to calm me down like that.”

Your lips faltered in confusion. “Who’re the others?”

“My mom, grandma before, and Jimin.” He replied. “I forgot about the song. It’s the most effective for me.”

You smiled, recalling the first time you used it. It was hours before the middle school talent show. The only reason why you did it was to distract him. He needed to focus on his mind away from his rough breathing. It was on a whim, but it worked great and now the song always calmed him down whether he went through an episode or not.

His list was expected as they were the most important people in his life. However, it was shocking that a specific person you thought of wasn’t on the list. “Not even Clara?”

Taehyung snorted as if you said a joke, “Please she doesn’t know anything about calming someone down. All she cares about is her image.”

Well, that was completely out of nowhere, baffled by his reveal. He spoke on it so casually, yet it was like a blow to his relationship. You couldn’t help but be curious as to why he might have said that, but you chose not to ask as it was the least of your worries right now.

Ignoring his comment, you decided to ask other questions that came to mind while you were on the bus ride home. “Before tonight, when was the last time you went through an episode?”

Tilting his head to the side, he stared at the wall across as he went through the folders of his memories. “Like a full episode, probably last year. Short breaths from time to time, but nothing too serious like tonight.”

“Taehyung…” You frowned, scooting closer to him. You kept your palms on your thighs when you kept your stare on him. His expression remained blunt, almost as if these mini-episodes weren’t at all concerning.

“No worries, ___. They weren’t big. When they happen, the breathing exercises help.”

“Could I ask what caused your last one? Wait, how’d you get into that situation?” Some things weren’t adding up. You were getting more and more perplexed.

He paused for a moment, gazing into your irises. You kept a worried demeanor as you waited patiently. The warm light of your floor lamp in the corner shined onto a side of you, cascading soft shadows of your side profile on the wooden ground.

“If I tell you, then I’d have to tell you things that I’m not proud of.” He explained softly, almost frightened that you’d want nothing to do with him. “You might hate who I’ve become.” His eyes filled with sorrow as he could feel the tears welling up again.

You sucked in your lips as you contemplated a move. Before you even made a choice, you crawled next to him before making yourself comfortable and sat, feeling the warmth he radiated. You looked up at his puzzled face. Before he could question, you motioned him to come and patted his lap.

Though stunned at your forward behavior, his eyes softened. You smiled tenderly and nodded, indicating it was okay. You did your motions once more before he placed his head on your lap, laying his body on the ground. Once his head settled, your appendages caressed through his ebony tendrils to soothe him, repeating the action over and over again.

“Taehyung, I could never hate you.” Your voice was so delicate, but held the heaviest meanings that Taehyung heard in a long time. “Though I don’t know what’s going on with you, please know that your resilience grows every day, more than yesterday, less than tomorrow. You’ll get through it.” You nodded to yourself, deep into thought. “You overcame so many things; bike riding, lighting, stage fright, endless training, close to disbanding. You’ve become successful and loved by many, Taehyung. You reached your goals! I would assume you’d be happier.” You sounded so positive, like how you were when you were younger, his little hope. But the familiar light only shattered him, becoming overshadowed by his intrusive thoughts. Only he knew it wasn’t all true.

With shaking lips, a cry escaped from his mouth not realizing that he was holding it in. You whispered caring nothings while you brushed your fingers into his scalp. His body pumping as his shoulders trembled as the sobs continued to fall.

It was at that moment he realized that you were probably gonna find out the side of him he has been trying to hide from you. The side that grew when you were gone in his life, the tragic shit of his life. He didn’t want to tell you, but he knew he could never lie to you. He trusted you.

He will always trust you.

“You say I’m resilient when I’m not.” He began with denial oozing at the words “You may think that my life has been nothing but glamorous with expensive name brands, International celebrity connections, and being loved by millions, from all my “success”. That my happiness is from all of that.” He chuckled, yet there was no humor in his tone. He bit his lips, quietly attempting to stop his sorrows. “But it’s not, ___.” He stabilized his breathing, feeling pressure in his chest. “I haven’t been happy for a while, and…and I don’t know what happened. I don’t know at all.”

He turned his head up so that he saw your face. Your arm hooked around the side of his face, your forearm feeling against his supple yet worn-down cheeks. Your digits were still attached to his hair. Your eyes were crystal clear, shining at him with the worrisome expression you’d been carrying since he saw you tonight. Yet you were getting confused, “What do you mean?”

The waves of sadness, the trickling of despair in his voice, and the tiredness against the hallows of his eyes and cheeks remained evident in the idol as he revealed what he has been dealing with for the years apart. His increasing anxiety and depression, therapy, the band, the scandals and cover-ups, and hurting numbness to his feelings ultimately resulted in his battle with substances and alcoholism.

Though he mentioned the overcoming of drugs and being clean for a year, the feigned chuckle in his voice indicated no other improvement to all the other shit happening to him. He still felt ashamed of what had become of him. V of BTS, Kim Taehyung, your Taehyung, your Hyungie grew up in a reckless brain of disappointment behind all that fame, fortune, and success. The continuous pressure of being this inhumane super idol representative of his national country in the public eye when really he was a human man struggling to find himself and the joy that was once in his life.

Even instances where he almost ran into mayhem from his behavior. If his members, mainly Jimin and Jungkook, or his friends didn’t find him on time, the paparazzi would have arrived to mess up his reputation and possibly his life.

Through the pain seeping out his voice and the straining tears on his face, you could tell how much it was affecting him, giving a hard time to even say it out loud. You knew he hid something, but it was nothing that you expected. Yet you knew how much he feared, how much it hurt him, having the control of his life being taken away by something he loved doing.

You kept silent, listening to his speaking while patting his hair. Your pants were soaked by his tears. At times, he had to pause for a moment to let out longer sobs when the feeling got too much. Once it seemed his story met the end, he sat up from your lap to stare into your eyes with his dull ones. “All this love and support, yet I still feel fucking empty!” He raised his voice out of nowhere, making you flinch. Noticing, he apologized quietly through his pupils. He spoke softly this time, “It’s all too much to handle, and adding onto everyone fucking keeping their eyes on me like I’m some zoo animal or puppet to attend to their needs. I just hate it.”

Stillness met around you much longer than anticipated because honestly, you didn’t know what to say to him. You didn’t want to say something he might not want to hear. He might have heard it before and it probably didn’t work. When in doubt, sometimes silence and listening would be the best thing to do.

“___?” He called your name out so timidly. You slightly nodded, telling him you were still here with him. “You think I’m a piece of shit, right?”

You furrowed your eyebrows at his accusation. “What? No, I don’t.”

“You’re lying.”

“Taehyung, I may have been harsh to you but I would never think of you like that.”

“Why not? There’s obviously something wrong with me.” He countered, not truly believing you. “All this shit is because of me.”

“No, nothing is wrong with you.” You fought back, shaking your head. “Things happened to you, Taehyung. You’re not what those events are.”

The idol kept his sodden eyes on you, hardening by the second. However, you too had your pupils focused on him, almost as if you were fighting to win yet your stare was much more gentle and empathetic. With that, it made him believe the authenticity of the words you were saying.

He softened his look and sniffed as he looked away to gaze over at your corner lamp. “You’re the only person who isn’t blaming me for my mess.” Turning his head back to you, he sighed “Whatever I do, I just feel like shit and get blamed. I feel lost and so tired of everything.”

“It’s okay to feel lost. You should give grace to yourself. I mean, you have been in the spotlight since you were young, so the pace is slower, unfortunately.”

“But how long am I gonna be like this?” He groaned in agony. Tears are physically drained out of him, but the redness pierced through his skin. “It’s been years!”

You thinned your lips and nodded, acknowledging his grief. “You should know I can’t answer that.” Though your answer wasn’t the best, it didn’t seem like he was bothered by it at all. “I know I’ll never be in your shoes and I will never know what’s going on in your head, but I do know how strong you are, Taehyung. You’ve always been, for yourself and others.” He remained quiet. But the dimming within the dark hues of his irises suddenly sparkled faintly. “It sucks and frustrating, and all these annoying shits because people don’t always understand you. You’re kinda hard to crack at times. Maybe that’s why it’s taking longer than usual. But those who truly know the lengths you have to take to overcome this. They will help you understand what you need to bring the goodness and happiness out of you.”

“Will I ever be happy, ___?” He spoke ever so timidly like he desperately needed an answer.

You leaned back, resting your palms on the hard wooden floor. “They always say good things will happen especially when you least expect it. It’ll come when the time is right.”

But you’re here now and you were the best thing that ever happened to me.

Taehyung had an exhaustive look within his gloom, taking in your words. It was true, not many people understood him especially personally. Even if they did, they’d argue his logic like he was wrong for that. So at that moment, he remembered how much you were the one true person that made him be seen. Exposed and vulnerable. You saw the real Kim Taehyung.

With that, you weren’t expecting the idol to crawl towards your form to wrap his long arms around you as he rested his head in the crook of your neck. His nose gently grazed your skin, letting you inhale sharply. Luckily, he was too deep into his thoughts so you placed your palm on his back before fully reciprocating back.

“Thank you.” The vibration of his voice moved through your goosebumps. “Thank you for your words, for saving me, for everything since you came back. Thank you for being here again, Blue.”

A subtle smile ghosted on your lips at the sound of the nickname, letting him get away with it only this time. “You don’t need to thank me. I’ll be honest when I say I hate it at times, but I’ll be on your side no matter what.”

“Really? Even when I fuck up? Or when the members are mad at me?”

“Well, yeah.” He parted away to look into your eyes. “I’ve known you longer than those around us. It’s your word against theirs; I would believe you than them.”

The way you explained yourself had Taehyung’s heart skipping in a fluttering rapid manner. You spoke so honestly, it said it all on your face too. The gentleness and reassurance he knew and loved.

“Of course, it doesn’t mean I agree with you. I’ll tell your shit with the back of my hand.” Though your words were hard, you continued that tendering tone with an empathetic smile that would make all living entities’ hearts melt. But the contrast made the idol let out a deep chuckle, shaking his head while you weren’t fazed at all. “I’m only being honest.”

“As you are,” Taehyung confirmed before biting his lip. He knew how late it was, but still rejected the thought of going back to his house…with Clara if she was back. He didn’t want the members or his friends to get roped into this because that would require him to explain what happened tonight. “Do you think I could sleep over here?”

You looked taken aback at his question, cocking your brow up. “Tonight? Here?” You asked, then he nodded confidently. “A-are you sure?”

“Please? After what happened…I don’t want anyone else to know and bug me.”

“But…” You had mixed feelings about his request. Sure, you had tons of sleepovers in the past but it was in the past. There were certain things to consider with your decision, and most of it had to do with your boundaries and your hesitancy despite your now willingness to fully accept him.

“Please?” He asked again, with so much vulnerability leaking out of that single word.

But after these recent events and the fact he revealed the darkness of his life update to you, all you wanted was for him to feel safe.

“Do you wanna shower too? I have a spare towel, but I need to dig for larger-sized clothes.” You got up from the floor and started heading down the hallway to your room. “I think I brought some of my grandfather’s pajamas by mistake.” Your voice echoed through your apartment.

Though you didn’t explicitly say yes, Taehyung knew the answer, making him grin like an idiot as he watched your form disappear into the hall. He then crawled up to follow you. It took him a couple of seconds to see where your bedroom was located as it was the only door that was wide open with the lights on.

Once he entered, he noticed that the only furniture there was a neatly made blue-sheeted bed and oak dresser. The surface of the dresser was filled with books, a jewelry box, empty cans of Coca-Cola, and various miscellaneous items.

You were living a very minimalist life, he thought. When the two of you were younger, you always decorated your room. You had a multitude of plush toys on your bed given by your grandparents, his parents, other neighbors, and him too. You liked to plaster pictures of family, him, and art, and posters of your favorite artists on your wall, and displayed your rock collection that remained in one corner of your room.

Nothing in this room screamed “you.” It felt very temporary like you weren’t belonging to this place.

Taehyung then turned away from looking to spot you digging through your closet. He heard you let out an “umph” before you sat back on the floor with a red sweater and a matching-colored pair of plaid pants.

“I was right! I did bring a box of his clothes on accident!” You smiled when you looked up at the idol standing. “They were supposed to be donations, but I grabbed them by mistake and just kept them.” You raised the clothes to him.

The idol gladly took them into his hands and grinned. “You know your grandfather is a very tall man. I don’t know if I could even fit his clothes.”

“Nonsense, I think you’re as tall as him now. I mean it has been some time.” You got up from the floor and let out a sigh.

“How is he anyways? How has he been since your grandmother passed?”

They were harmless questions that Taehyung asked as simple curiosity and wanting to know how your family was doing. But those very questions made your smile drop into a sorrowful frown.

Taehyung stared at you questionably at the shift in your mood. It seemed like your brain was gearing up, trying to process what he said. He didn’t think it was anything bad but with the slight thinning of your lips with your nostrils flaring, he felt like he said something wrong.

But before he could even defend himself, you nodded casually as you put back a small grin. “Oh yeah, he’s fine. Same strong, gentle old man. Just been busy with the farm and everything. Just thinking about him working in his old age frustrates me, you know?” You were rambling, and it happens because of three things: you got nervous, angry, or you were hiding something.

Taehyung immediately knew the choices but didn’t speak further. It has been a rough night for him and probably for you now, so he didn’t want to add more stress. “He should retire soon, or pass the farm to you or someone else.”

“Yeah…” You sighed, already wanting to change the subject. “You should go shower. Towels inside the hallway closet and I have a spare toothbrush under the bathroom sink.”

The idol nodded, “Maybe, you should go first. It’s late, and a school night. You also have longer hair than me, so it’d take longer to dry.”

Completely forgetting that tomorrow you had a morning class, you mentally cursed yourself. It was close to one in the morning, and usually around this time, you’d still study but you didn’t have the mental capacity right now. You were exhausted and needed to get as much sleep as possible.

“Are you sure?” You asked.

“Of course, Blue. I don’t mind, you’re literally housing me.” He patted your head as you stared up at him.

Your eyebrows pinched before you formed a pout. “I told you to stop calling me Blue.”

“It’s a force of habit.” He shrugged before squeezing your cheek. “Do you know how hard it is for me to call you by your name?”

“It’s not as hard, you know. A normal person calls me by my name.”

“I don’t give a fuck if I’m not normal or not. Blue will forever be your name for me.”

Though you’d normally get angry or show some type of anger, you were forcing yourself to suppress a smile at what he said. A smile that he noticed, so he didn’t take it as seriously.

“Whatever, Taehyung.” You shook your head before gathering up your clothes to shower and change.

“That’s not my name for you.” He denied.

“I’m not saying it. I don’t want to.”

“Why not?” Now he was acting a bit playful, which you didn’t mind. “It’s Blue and Hyungie! Not ___ and Taehyung!”

“You can’t be serious. We had those nicknames when we were kids. We’re nearly in our thirties!”

“Does it look like I care if we’re almost thirty?” The idol reasoned once more. “You being Blue means so much to me. You, of all people, should know how much you mean to me.” He spoke gently when he explained himself, almost sensitive to this topic.

You didn’t know how to respond at that. Though you knew how much you cared about him, you didn’t know how much it was reciprocated back. You had partially low expectations now on how much importance you were towards Taehyung’s life.

So you honestly said, “No, I’m not sure about now…”

The devastation wasn’t enough to describe his expression. A bit of concern, a lot of worry, maybe even frustration. Whatever emotion there was, Taehyung felt worse, realizing the immense strain between you and him. You didn’t trust him, you didn’t know how much he cared and meant to you, it was almost as if every memory made was completely garbage to say the least. At least that was what he thought.

Before he could even say a sound, you quickly changed the subject. “I’m gonna go shower. Just make yourself comfortable.” You said in a rush as you collected some clothes and your towel hanging on the door knob.

Taehyung stood there dumbfounded and exhausted. There was too much to think about and all he wanted to do was not think. He just got to you, he shouldn’t be greedy with this.

While you showered, there wasn’t much for Taehyung to do. You lived in a rather infinite yet empty apartment. He roamed around your place about five times, so he was sure he saw everything you owned here.

Well, almost everything.

He was back in your room, eyes scanning the dresser. Items were still in the same position as he first saw them, but now he had more scrutiny, specifically for your jewelry box. It caught his eyes the most; it was worn down, graphics and patterns faded over time, yet still managed to keep its shape.

He soon realized it was the one his family gave you during a Christmas of your childhood.

The campfire that Taehyung’s father, Jitae, made blazed brightly outside in the back of their house. You, your grandparents, and his family surrounded the fire, taking in the warmth while being covered in jackets and snuggled in thick blankets provided by his mother.

While his siblings, with the help of his grandmother and father, were making s’mores and roasted marshmallows, you and Taehyung shared a blanket and sat in a large woven chair as he wrapped his skinny limbs around you for extra warmth and comfort. It was a relaxing Christmas Eve, and both families wanted to celebrate together because the more, the merrier. The bond was always strong between each other so it was only fair to do so with one another.

“Would you kids like to open one present before Christmas?” Taehyung’s mom, Miseon, asked with a smile. She already had two gifts while your grandmother had the other two.

The obvious answer was saying yes with immense joy in our tones. So when the two women distributed the presents, greedy hands from the Kim siblings snatched them right away. You, on the other hand, looked at his mom curiously when she gave you one.

“___, this is from us to you,” Miseon informed. “Gifts are never enough to show how much we truly love and care for you, dear. You’ve always been a great blessing to us.”

“HEY!” Sungyeon, the youngest of three, pouted. “That’s not fair!”

“Sungie, don’t be selfish.” Their mom scolded gently but her face showed all the strictness, which ultimately shut him up, and continued opening his toy. Then looked back at you with a more calmer and happier expression. “We hope you like it.”

Smiling, you proceeded to unbox your present. Unlike the others, the way you opened gifts was done in a very neat way. Peeling off the tapes on the sides, carefully slicing the wrapping paper, and sliding it off with precision.

Meanwhile, Taehyung shredded the paper.

You opened the lid which ultimately made you confused. You took it out and observed the outside of it. It was another box, yes, but it was light blue with gold accents around the surface, edges were also gold but felt like metal. The edges were sharp and crisped. Some of the gold engraved your initials on the top of the lid. It even smelled nice too.

You found the opening latch, which also had the option to put an additional lock on it. When you unlocked it, the top popped open surprising you in the process. Nevertheless, you were in awe. There were what appeared to be velvet containers and organizers within the box with a fairly decent mirror. But the thing that made you fall in love was the small ballerina pirouetting slowly as a toy box jingle of Swan Lake played.

“It’s a jewelry box,” Miseon explained to your confused ten-year-old self. “You can put your necklaces, rings, and bracelets in here for safekeeping. I know there’s that necklace your parents gave you and the bracelets you’ve been making.” You nodded as you unconsciously grabbed onto the flower pendant you still used and never took off. “You can put them in here, or any sentimental items you have.”

“Thank you, auntie! I love it.” You cheesed at the box. Anything they gave you, you always took it with pride and honor. Your grandparents watched with smiles as you touched and caressed your jewelry box. Taehyung even stopped to look at you and admire your gift, his present in his lap was long forgotten.

“You know ___, remember you can also call me mom.” Miseon reminded you. A while back, his parents asked permission from your grandparents if it was okay. Because you lost your parents at such a young age and the way you seamlessly meshed into their family, they both wanted to be there to support and love you as their own. Your grandparents were fine with it, knowing the trust that has been built through the years but it was only the matter if you’d accepted them.

“And call me dad.” Jitae chimed in as he sat on the edge next to you. You pursed your lips before nodding quietly, still not giving them a clear answer to their offer.

“Why do you want ___ to call you that?” Sungyeon asked with a hit of jealousy. “You’re our mom and dad, not hers!”

Then Eunjeong slapped the back of her younger brother’s head, making him wince in pain. “You dummy, don’t be mean! ___ doesn’t have parents, that’s why!” She meant well, but all the adults and Taehyung gasped, knowing how sensitive you were about the mentioning of your parents.

Taehyung slithered his arms around you before pulling you back into his body before you could even react, “Both of you, be quiet! I told you not to talk about that! Blue is sensitive, you know!”

“Now children, calm down.” Your grandmother stepped in, wanting to ease the tension between the angered eldest and the now frightened younger two. “Be careful with your words because they can hurt others. ___ does have parents, they’re just not here anymore. She knows that. And second—”

“It’s okay, grandma.” You interrupted your grandmother, making everyone crane their heads at you. You finally spoke after being silent, feeling it was right to do so. “Yeah, I know my parents are gone…I still miss them.”

“Blue, it’s okay. Cry it out.” Taehyung cooed, tightening his grip on you but his coddling made you laugh and shake your head before parting away from him.

“Hyungie, I’m not sad about it as much.” You reassured. “Besides, I have a family here!” You opened your arms, showcasing to those around you. “I have my grandparents…siblings…a best friend…” You turned to face his parents, showing all the love you had for them in your eyes. “Parents?” You said it so softly but it was enough for both of his parents to have tears in their eyes.

You got up from the chair to stand in front of Miseon and looked up at her. “I have a mom, but…you can also be my mom too.” You craned your head over to Jitae. “And you can also be my dad too!”

Your reveal made his parents rush to hug you with a strong yet welcoming embrace. You were squished between the two but felt the love they emitted.

Though you barely had time with your actual parents, you still held and thought of them very highly. You remembered what they did with you, how much love they had for you, and giving you what you wanted and needed. But the memories were fading as you grew older, the distance between them and you, their faces were only shown in pictures. It was harder since they weren’t physically here anymore.

You were finally willing to bring them in, willing for them to be part of your life from now on.

Sungyeon was about to protest but Eunjeong nudged him to be quiet to not ruin the beautiful moment.

Taehyung smiled at the innocent memory. You were always well loved by his family, his parents treating you as if you were their child and even taking care of you when your grandparents were busy. In some ways, his parents wanted you to be part of the Kim family.

His siblings seemed to love you more than they did with him, which never bothered Taehyung at all since he got to see that bright smile on your face.

Even after the falling, his parents or siblings would mention you from time to time, wondering if you were ever okay and doing well for yourself. They tried their best to contact you, but it seemed that you were incognito and keeping your distance. It hurt both ends, but at least they wanted the best for one another. You were also a memory for them since it’s been years since they last saw you or your grandparents.

Mindlessly, Taehyung opened the box which revealed pouches of earrings and necklaces and a row of rings. You know the typical items inside a jewelry box.

However, what caught his eye was a handmade craft he didn’t think he’d ever see again.

It was your friendship bracelet, also worn down, whithering over time, yet still intact. Despite a few chips, scratches, bumps, and a little piece of your initial charm missing, everything was there! He couldn’t believe that you still kept yours all this time. He never thought about you keeping yours, he assumed it was gone forever. But this was incredible for him.

Especially knowing that he too kept his.

It was kept in a box filled with childhood memorabilia inside his closet including the pictures of you and him through the years. Gifts, notes, letters, everything that he could bring to Seoul. During his training days, while everyone was asleep, he would read them late at night when he felt himself missing you.

Which was every day.

But after your friendship was over, Taehyung hid all those physical memories from everyone including himself. Though feeling so guilty and ashamed of his explosive younger self, he knew deep down he didn’t have the heart to throw away the box of you. Just the thought of it was a complete absurdity. He refused to erase anything of you.

Even now.

He had a sudden urge to open the box immediately once he gets home, without Clara of course. If she didn’t know shit about you, then she definitely won’t know about that box.

After washing up and getting ready for bed, the two of you were in pajamas. Taehyung sat on your bed, scrolling away on his phone. You went back to your closet, retrieving some thicker blankets. He heard ruffling before looking up to watch you retrieve one of the pillows on your mattress. You didn’t think much about giving up your bed for him, so you were getting ready to leave the bedroom before he stopped you.

“What are you doing?” He questioned, getting off of the bed to stand.

You stopped your track, giving him a confusing expression. “What?”

“Where are you going with that?” He worryingly nodded toward what you were carrying.

“Uhh, going to the living to make my bed?”

“Wha—___! Don’t do that.”

“Why not? I need to sleep somewhere.” You weren’t affected by this decision, but Taehyung begged to differ.

“Yeah, that’s why there��s your bed right here.” He said matter-of-a-factly.

“You’re the guest, Taehyung. You need to be comfortable.”

“I don’t feel comfortable with you sleeping outside of the bedroom.” He reasoned softly. “No offense, ___, but your living room looks lonely…”

You snorted, “I think you’ve mistaken lonely for poor.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“I’m teasing, Taehyung.” You rolled your eyes as you reassured him but he continued to look stooped and pouty. You decided to leave him be to walk your way to the living room. But before you can do so, Taehyung jogged up to you and took the blankets out of your hands. “It’s fine, I got th—wait, you’re going the wrong way!”

Carrying the fabrics, he settled them down on the bed. You followed behind and tried to get them back but he lightly pushed your face away. You were taken aback as you glared at him, having the urge to kick his shin but you held back.

“Don’t sleep in the living room. Stay here, I’ll sleep out there.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. I’m gonna say no.” You ruthlessly shut him down.

“___!”

“No, Taehyung, you’re not sleeping out there. It’s rude for me to give you the floor, especially after your panic attack. I need you to feel cozy and secure.” You explained. “Do you still have trouble sleeping at night after an episode?”

“Y-yeah, but—”

“Exactly, so just take the bed. It’s already late, and I have class tomorrow. I don’t want to argue.”

Taehyung bit down on his lips, wanting to counter back. But he knew you were right. He always had trouble sleeping after his panic attacks. Even his doctor told him he needed to be as comfortable and relaxed as possible.

But the last time he felt that away after an episode was sleeping with Jimin, and the last other person to do that for him was you. And with you, it’s different.

“Fine, I’ll take the bed.” He ultimately gave in, which satisfied you. But then he said, “But if I need to be comfortable, then I don’t want you to stay in the living room. I’ll feel unsettled knowing you’re out there.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Why?”

“I just am! I feel bad too, you’re uncomfortable in your apartment.”

“I’m not, I actually sleep on the floor from time to time, intentionally and unintentionally because I pass out after studying.” You simply said, but you don’t seem to get his point.

“Don’t sleep in the living room then.” He pressed onto you.

“Then where am I going to sleep? The bathroom?”

“Here.”

“What do you mean here?” You further inquired, wary of what he meant.

“I mean here.” He pointed down, motioning to the room. “You can sleep on the bed with me too…” Your eyes bulged out of the sockets, making him realize what he said. “Come on, I didn’t mean it like that! Just sleep! Just sleep.”

“Taehyung…”

“You don’t need to sleep on the bed, it was just a suggestion. I swear! Want you to be comfortable too.” He defended himself. “If not, at least sleep here on the floor.”

“Do you think that I would be comfortable sleeping here? What if I’m not? Even after you said that.”

Taehyung’s mouth opened then closed, struggling to gather his words. He didn’t think about that, and now he felt like an asshole wanting what he said. “D-do you feel uncomfortable at what I said? I’m sorry, it wasn’t my intention. Really, I—Good night then. Sorry again.”

“Don’t be sorry, Taehyung. I get what you mean, and I’m not uncomfortable.” You promised, lightly smiling. “I don’t mind but I didn’t want to suggest it.”

“How come?”

“Are you really going to ask me that?” You rolled your eyes, thinking he wasn’t being serious. But when he stared curiously at you, he didn’t understand what you meant.

Today was too long for you. However, though you were exhausted, your mind was wide awake, recapturing all that had happened in the past twenty-four hours. That also included what went through your head while you were away from him.

You didn’t want to have this conversation yet, but maybe this will make him understand how you feel and your boundaries. That way you’d feel a little lighter and not have to worry about it from now on. “Taehyung.”

“Hmm.”

You wanted to be direct, and as clear as possible. “Were you really trying to kiss me?” More forward than that. “Actually, scratch that. Why were you going to kiss me?”

Okay, he didn’t expect that to come out of your mouth, especially now. Yet he knew exactly what you were talking about. The question now was what was he going to say? How was he going to respond?

He thought long and hard as you anticipated his answer. “Uhh, I don’t know.”

You blinked, “you don’t know?”

“I…I don’t know, ___, or at least I don’t know how to put it into words.” He shook his head at himself, gathering his feelings. “I guess I was… at the moment? Look, ___, being with you always made me feel right. It reminded me of how we were. I’d hold you, kiss your forehead, temple, cheek, anywhere really.”

“So you were wanting to be like old times?” You wondered, still puzzled.

“Kinda? Well, now you know the shit I’m in, so hanging out with you felt like going back in time when nothing was like this. I felt so alive, and safe. Like I wasn’t V, but Kim Taehyung.”

That still didn’t answer your question, especially when you wanted to say that he was going for your lips than your cheek or head. It didn’t matter as much right now because he said something else that sparked your interest. “Our past was innocent and young, we didn’t know anything! That’s why it was like that and unfortunately, Taehyung, we’re older. Our younger selves would have never known what was happening with us and between us. We can’t sink into the sand of our memories. That’s how people aren’t able to move on.”

“I know, but all I want is to feel happy again and the only times I truly felt it was when I was younger.” He sounded like he was begging, but you didn’t know to who.

“How do you suppose to do that then? You can’t go back in time and relive your prepubescent self.”

He chuckled lowly, “I can’t go back, but I can make new memories. Hopefully, they’re happier and less traumatizing.”

“I do want you to have that too. Don’t think about happy memories, focus on happy experiences in the present.”

“Maybe, especially when you’re back.” He shrugged.

“Don’t say stuff like that.” You sighed, not wanting to hear that.

“I know, but knowing how you were in my past when I was enjoying life, helps to hope for those “joyful” experiences.”

You mumbled incoherent sounds before grabbing the blankets to prepare your makeshift futon next to the bed. Slumber was slowly getting to you and you wanted to mentally cry at the time—close to three in the morning and you had to wake up at six to get ready for your 8 AM class, then work. Yup, the day was nearing. Should you skip it? No, that would be a waste on your loans.

As you mentally prepared yourself for the morning, Taehyung got into the covers and cuddled with the single pillow he had for the night. His head could sleep without it.

He watched you place the layers of blankets down on the floor. As he did so, he recapped what you both discussed earlier. Now it was his turn to ask some questions, but he forgot to do something first.

“I’m sorry, ___.”

You finished the last layer before you turned, spotting him laying on his side holding a pillow. He too had the face of defeat, but yet he continued when you kept your silence.

“I’m sorry that I tried to kiss you. It wasn’t my intention to, I don’t know what came over me. Nonetheless, it still happened and it got you angry.” He explained, cautiously and neatly. “I also want you to know how much I value you and our relationship. I never want to hurt you. Even get you angry, but that always happens.” You nodded calmly, taking it all in. “I still want your friendship. I’ll do what it takes. Please don’t give up on us like that. I’m stupid, but I’ve been like that and I’m trying.”

Taehyung waited fearfully for your response. You appeared composed and unaffected, but that was probably because you were so tired to feel any rigorous emotions right now. You just wanted to go to bed, but you knew you needed to say something.

You closed your eyes and exhaled before peeling them open, “Taehyung…if I say yes, there need to be boundaries.” You finally replied.

His face scrunched at your request. “Like what? We’ve never had something like that before.”

“Well, it’s now. Don’t think about the past right now.” You shook your head. “We’re older, so there should be respectful walls between us.”

Taehyung nodded slowly, understanding your needs. “I’ll be respectful. I’m sorry again for trying to do that.”

“As long as it never happens again, and besides you have Clara, remember?” You mentioned, putting a distasteful expression on him. “You don’t wanna ruin your relationship over someone like me. Don’t wanna follow that same route again.”

Your words piqued his interest, “Again? What do you mean again?”

Fuck, you slipped that out so casually, exposing yourself in front of him like that. “Huh, oh, nothing. I…yeah, nothing.”

“___, it doesn’t sound like nothing,” Taehyung said, maneuvering himself to get a good look at you. He rested his elbows on the mattress, cupping his cheeks. He observed your avoidance, eyes roaming everywhere else instead of him. “___, what happened?” He had to think again. “If you’re uncomfortable, you don’t need to tell me. I’m sorry if I’m overstepping.”

You sighed, shaking your head. You finally gazed at him, his stare so attentive towards you. “You’re not overstepping…it’s just…I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Try your best. Say it ugly if you have to.”

“When you tried to kiss me or something, I got triggered.” You tried to find the words, biting your lips as you thought about how to approach this. “I was…scarred in the past.”

Furrowing his eyebrows together, Taehyung questioned. “What do you mean? What happened? Were you okay?”

“It’s done and over, but it still makes me unsettled.” You explained. Taehyung waited patiently for you to continue. Though he stared in silence, his aura encouraged you to be vulnerable in front of him…like the old times when he made you feel safe and sound as you used to tell him everything.

Well, not everything.

“It was back in undergrad, but uhhh, when I was a freshman, I dated an upperclassman.” You exposed yourself. This was something you hated thinking and talking about, but it was also something that needed to be clear and said, especially to Taehyung.

You dated someone?? That surprised him. Not saying he never expected you to date, it just surprised him that you actually dated someone. He had so many questions—who was he? What did he look like? What was he like? Did he ever savor your glory? Did he ever laugh the way he did? Was he ever part of your story, one that Taehyung gave up on long ago? Did he fill in his part?

Then again, you said you were scarred, so that fueled some fire within him, getting irrationally upset about this unknown dude.

But he stopped himself and asked, “Wait, you did?”

You nodded calmly as opposed to his shocked yet steady demeanor. “He was a TA for a class. I asked for help, and it happened. He was sweet, nice to me, and brought me flowers a couple of times. Guess you can say he was my first boyfriend, well, a lot of my firsts…”

Taehyung frowned, his mouth curling down deeply. There were visions in his head he wanted to push away. “So what happened?”

“What he didn’t tell me was that he had a girlfriend.”

“Wait, so he cheated on you?!”

“No, he cheated on her with me.” You said flatly, but your heart squeezed from the visceral memory. You breathed in and out carefully, hoping you weren’t going to cry over something stupid years ago. You shouldn’t cry over that man. “I was the other woman, yet I did not know of it for like almost an entire year. No one even told me, so who knows if others knew this whole time.” Your fists clenched as you pulled your legs to your chest. “Eventually, she and I found out but she put all the blame on me and spread a rumor around campus that I was a home wrecker. They broke up, but I guess my reputation got destroyed. Or even worsen? I didn’t have any true friends even before that. Civil roommates, but that was it. Everyone knew me as the home wrecker so…”

You were also tired of crying about that horrific past, yet it still haunted you. When it happened, it felt like everything was your fault. What was worse was that you had no support system anymore. Everything you did, through college and other hardships, you felt incredibly alone and lonely. Those years truly felt the lowest for you.

The tears escaped without your permission, but you didn’t bother wiping them away because if you did, you’d acknowledge you were crying. But Taehyung wasn’t going to lay there and do nothing, so he scooted off the bed and sat next to your makeshift futon. He pulled you into him as you sniffled and the streams continued down your cheeks, also staining his shirt. He rubbed your back and wiped the tears for you.

“Taehyung, I promise this isn’t meant to guilt you but I wished you were still there for me.” Your lips quivered, breaking both of your hearts at your sad confession. “Everyone hated me. It was so hard without my best friend.”

Yet Taehyung felt the guilt eating him alive. He left you alone, with no one by your side to protect you. He wished he could cry because seeing you in this state would leave him sobbing like a baby, but it seemed the tears and overwhelming events restrained him from doing so. He hated seeing his Blue sad.

“I’m so sorry again. I still feel like shit about what happened.” He said, holding you tighter in his arms.

“It’s whatever already.” You sniffed, letting it go as it was the least of your concerns at this point. You quietly apologized for ruining his sleepwear, but he didn’t care. “It did hurt, but I’m sure you had your reasons.”

He did have his reasons, but it wasn’t the time to say so he nodded. “That’s horrible though, what you experienced. I’m sorry you had to go through with that.”

“I was a stupid teenager who didn’t know any better,” You reasoned. “I think I was too focused on the fact that someone actually liked and wanted to be with me. It was like a miracle.” You lightly joked at the end, but Taehyung took it seriously.

“Why’d you say that?”

“Taehyung, I wasn’t necessarily a catch, even back in Geochang.” You told him. “I mean my first kiss was even made into a joke. In general, I never had someone who truly loved me in that sense.” He stayed silent as he looked at your reddened face. You didn’t bother to notice his expression directed at you, as you went on. “When I was with him, it felt exciting at first. Only now I realized how much I kept saying yes to him because I thought he loved me and I didn’t want to make him upset.”

“Why?”

Your teary eyes met his hardened ones before you simply answered, “If I made him upset, then he’d leave me.”

The air grew slightly thick from your response. It was unintentional, yet intentional. You’ve said so much, yet so little. Taehyung realized now that there was much more you haven’t spoken about the in-between gap. While he spoke up, you chose to stay silent. Yet everything that has happened without him, like this experience, made a clear effect on you, and somehow also bit him in the ass.

He wanted to stir the conversation slightly, otherwise, the night will become light in no time. “You were still in Geochang, right?” You nodded tiredly. “Who was this fucking son of a bitch? Do you remember his name?”

“Kim Minjae.”

“Wait, I know that fucker. We were on the same soccer team. I’m gonna find him and bea—”

His response made you chuckle softly, patting his head in delight. Your smile eased his temper, despite biting his tongue. “Taehyung, it’s okay. You don’t need to do that because he got a teacher pregnant and is now working as a fisherman to pay his child support. I think he knows what he’s done.” The universe was on your side this time. You also remembered being flabbergasted but lowkey satisfied when that drama spread from the college to the entire town of Geochang. It was not pretty at all, but it got your name out of everyone’s mouth.

“Still, you were all alone and you went through that unnecessary shit.”

“Yes, but I overcame it. Well, not really. You just saw me cry over something that happened when I was 18. But my skin and heart are tougher, harder to break through.”

“Nah, I could poke you and know that you’re the biggest softie I know.” He cooed, causing you to roll your eyes but grin lightly.

“Anyways, I’m saying this because though we were friends again, we shouldn’t be so affectionate with each other.” You revealed. Though his touch comforted you, you pulled and moved away from him, giving some space in between.

But Taehyung appeared insulted and hurt. “Why? That’s how we always were.”

“Yes, but I’m sure no one else would understand.” You countered, scratching your neck. “Your members, friends, Clara, might get the wrong idea, and…I don’t wanna end up in that position again. Even though nothing’s happening between us and I’m sure your actions mean well, but for my sake. I-I’m scared.”

Was it asking for a lot? Maybe. But you needed to get it out of you. This may be a sudden realization as to why you weren’t as sure about bringing Taehyung back into your life. You’ve seen those articles and comments media and some fans put out for the world to see. People misinterpreted things all the time, or worse, warped them as bait to cause drama.

Though Taehyung understood what you meant, that didn’t mean he liked hearing it. He always took pride in your bond with him, something that no one ever quite understood and instead led to various assumptions. Yet most of the time didn’t bother to care and went along with your day.

Boundaries were never discussed, but that was only because they never existed between the two of you! Although if the memories weren’t mistaken, oftentimes, there were restrictions.

But this was slightly new territory for you and Taehyung. A rather comfortably uncomfortable situation. Nevertheless, it needed to happen to make this work for your strained relationship.

Taehyung sighed before nodding in agreement, “Okay, for you. But can I at least hug you?”

“Sure.” You shrugged. “Friends hug.”

“How about sleeping on the bed?”

“Taehyung, that’s pushing it.” You said sternly, suppressing the light grin on your face. Taehyung always did reason with you.

“Hey, I slept on the bed with my members and friends!” He argued back. “We even cuddled with each other.”

“Taehyung, I’m serious.” You groaned, raising your voice.

Taehyung laughed a hefty one out loud, almost sounding forced which frightened your irritable and tired state. You stared with eyes wide bewildering. “I’m sorry, but I’m getting tired of you calling me Taehyung.” He brought this up once again.

You raised an eyebrow and said, “It’s your name!” Seriously, why was he taking this so seriously? It was getting quite bothersome.

“But you call me Hyungie.” Taehyung sounded as if he was correcting you condescendingly. You were about to throw tired hands, but he continued. “And you’re my Blue. Look I know I keep bringing this up and you’re probably annoyed, but it shows the importance to me. You’re important to me! More than you know, and not doing it creates distance from us, which makes it so weird. I’ll try but I’m not used to it. I know you don’t trust me either, hell, I don’t trust me either but please have faith in me. Compromise with me!”

“Taehyung, we talked about this. I-I’m not ready for that, please understand. Little by little.” You wanted this to be over, at least for the night. It was late and you needed to get up early. “I’m trying, okay? I want to trust you, but again, there needs to be boundaries. I’m not doing this as a punishment.”

“But—”

“If it must happen, fucking just call me Blue. But I won’t call it back. No, absolutely not. I can’t.” You stood your stance, shaking your head. It was too much for you. “That’s my compromise and that’s final.”

The draining stare you offered him with no budge had him fear you slightly. You were always a scary one especially when you get upset with him. It was rare, well before, but it triggered him to stop his whining and give in to what you voiced out. It had to do for now…

“Okay, that’s fine…” He sighed as he dramatically turned his head to the side to stare at your dresser, pouting like a child. He wasn’t completely satisfied, but this was what he could get. Yet the faint grin plastered on lets him side-eye you in glee. “…Blue.”

You rolled your eyes once more before pushing him off your futon. He laughed as he crawled back into bed. “Okay, that’s settled so let’s go to sleep. I’m tired, I have to wake up early.”

“Are you sure about sleeping on the floor? The other side of the bed sure feels—”

“Taehyung, for the last time and I’m not fucking repeating myself, I’ll be fine sleeping down here. Take all the bed space or don’t, I don’t give a rat’s ass right now.” You snapped back, throwing whatever he had to “convince” you out the window. “Good night, okay? If you still have trouble sleeping, you can have my pillow too.” You grabbed your cushion and handed it to him.

“No, thank you. I need you to be comfy too.” Taehyung quickly denied it before getting into his sheets and hugging his pillow. “This is more than enough. Thank you for everything again. Thank you for opening up to me too.”

“You’re welcome.” You yawned widely as you scratched your head. “No problem with that…It was nice letting it out. Haven’t talked about that in a while. Hope tonight wasn’t that intense for you.”

“I’ve had worse nights.” He said lightly. “But man, Blue, no offense you probably have bad taste men.” He joked; the playful gleam sparked through his reddened eyes as he finally laid his back on the mattress.

“Don’t even talk about that.” You groaned, knowing he was probably right. You too laid down and were about to go to bed. “Don’t make fun of me right now, I’m sensitive.”

“Okay, I won’t. I promise.” He grinned, yet you stuck your tongue out to him. “Again, I’m sorry you had a bad first love.”

Now it was your turn to laugh forcibly to which Taehyung grew confused. “Luckily for me, he wasn’t my first love, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t be caught dead with that assumption.” You scoffed as you closed your eyes. Sleep came sooner than imagined that you didn’t realize what you said, too drowsy to notice.

Suddenly Taehyung was energized again, curious about your statement. “Really? But you said you had so many firsts with him.”

“Dates, relationship, sex, heartbreak,” You mumbled languidly, listing while pondering the thought. “First love wasn’t on the list.”

“Then you had a first love?” He questioned.

You only let a groggy noise, but it confirmed his inquiry.

“T-then who was your first love?” For an odd reason, Taehyung felt nervous asking this. Despite being best friends, the two of you never discussed each other’s love lives. Well, there wasn’t any on both sides, to begin with. He knew about your first kiss before and first boyfriend just now, but never knew anything about this. Maybe it was someone within the ten years apart? But you would have mentioned it, right?

Judging by the timeline of this boyfriend, it was when you first entered college so you were still young and most likely eighteen. That could mean your first love was way before then. If he analyzed his thoughts deeply and if the timeline was correct, you might have loved someone when he was still around.

Then the question now was who?

But no answer came from the other end.

When he turned his head, he found you knocked out spreading arms with long strands all over your face. He figured how tired you were, having done physical, emotional, and mental labor through the whole day so he lets it be.

His hand reached out to push back your hair away from your face, revealing your soft and relaxed expression. Your nose scrunched at the touch, but back to its resting state. He watched your chest rise slowly, lips slightly apart with the low sounds of your snoring escaping your mouth. Yeah, you were definitely gone.

He grinned to himself before saying, “Good night, Blue.” His back ultimately pressed down to the fabric as closed his eyes. Once shut, he realized how badly he too needed to rest.

Despite that, the question remained in his head and led to his dreams.

Though rushing this morning, you carefully placed the delicious breakfast plate on the kitchen counter. You woke up a little earlier than usual so you could rush down to the nearest convenience store to get some breakfast for yourself and the sleeping Taehyung.

Well, more so for him. A protein shake and breakfast bar usually sufficed for you. After an intensive night, you assumed he needed some sort of joy in the morning, and what better way than to cook him chocolate chip waffles and cut strawberries on the side?

You never cooked this much even for yourself, but you weren’t complaining. You thought of this as a warming gesture and an apology for leaving him alone in your apartment. Which by the way, you were about to miss your bus ride if you didn’t leave within the next ten minutes.

You placed a metal food net over the dish, then wrote a little note for him and placed it under the cover. You went back to your bedroom to retrieve your backpack and textbook but also noticed Taehyung sprawled out like a starfish on your bed. He held a pillow to his side while the other one was under his head and was placed by you when you woke up. You also added another layered blanket for him. You spotted his signature pout resting on him with his curled strands falling on his forehead.

The sight of his slumber had you smile pleasantly, relieved that he slept soundly and comfortably the night through. Granted, a little over four hours have passed since the two of you snoozed away but you still considered it a win.

He’ll manage around your living spaces without you and would most likely leave an hour or two after. You didn’t have much to entertain him here. You also won’t come back until late in the nighttime after your shift anyway, so who knows when will be the next time you’ll see each other?

But you hoped that it wouldn’t be as long as before.

Taehyung woke up in an empty apartment. Your makeshift futon had been folded and tucked in the corner near the closet. This morning was rather cold. He noticed one of the blankets you used on top of him and your pillow under his head. You did all of that without even waking him; though he was too deep in sleep to even hear you.

Once he brushed his teeth and splashed his face with some cold water, he walked towards the kitchen. Sunlight peaked through your window and reflected over the whiteness of your walls and somewhat empty apartment.

As he scoured around, he finally spotted a metal cover on the kitchen counter. He went over to pull it up, revealing the waffles with melted whipped cream and strawberries. Immediately, his mouth watered at the sight. He didn’t know how long it had been out, but he didn’t care any less. It was close to noon and he needed something to eat.

He then saw a note next to the plate. Picking it up, he read—“Sorry for leaving you here alone! I didn’t want to wake you. I have early classes and then I’m going to work. I won’t see you today (unless you stop by at the shop). Please enjoy your breakfast and I’ll see you soon! :) P.S. Feel better too <3<3!”

A smile crept up on his face, chest warming up at your kind gesture. He appreciated that in you. You probably had a busy morning, which surprised him that you had the time to make this.

Nonetheless, he devoured his breakfast, a little cold and mushy but the taste surpassed expectations. While he savored the last of the sliced fruit, he noticed all these unread messages, missed calls, and voicemails from Clara. He grimaced deeply. All her messages were repeated lines of “Where tf are you?” “Why aren’t you picking up?” “Who are you with? Seojoon oppa??” “I called Seojoon oppa and he says you’re not with him. Tae, where are you?!?!? And who??” “You shouldn’t have gone without me knowing!” and “Tae, I swear to God if you don’t pick up, I’m calling the police.” The last one typically held no threat because he knew she threw that in a bunch of that through the years.

He didn’t even bother going through voicemails because they’ll be repetitive and hearing her whining voice was not something he wanted to hear. Everything was so peaceful and relaxed for him up until now. Ugh, he was frustrated, his mood ruined by her constant bickering and overpowering control.

Right there, he decided to ignore it all. Knowing her, she was either working or probably at their shared house waiting viciously for him to come back home. Thus the idol decided to not go home and headed over to Seojoon’s.

The younger man knew his older friend had a day off—his Wooga Squad had a shared calendar to know their schedules. What better way to spend his day than to bother Seojoon.

“Bro, where the fuck were you last night?” Seojoon questioned as he plotted on his couch with Taehyung spread comfortably on the side of him, both had strawberry and banana smoothies on hand provided by the idol. “Clara called me like five times in panic wondering where you were.”

Taehyung sipped on his drink quietly and casually before rolling his eyes. “It seems she always runs to you when she needs help trying to find me.”

Seojoon kept a glare at his friend, shaking his head. “Duh, because you fucking disappear like Houdini.” He gulped his smoothie before proceeding. “Also I guess she’s more comfortable with me than the others.” He referred to Wooshik, Hyungsik, Sunghwan, and Joohyuk.

The idol eyed his friend, hardening his bothered stare. “Right…she’s not as close with them, I guess.”

“So are you gonna tell me where you went?” The actor settled his drink on the coaster on his coffee table. “How about this? Did anyone else know where you were?”

Taehyung bit his lip, contemplating if he should tell him. His panic attacks weren’t a secret. He was open enough to tell his friends about his experience episodes but none of them ever were there to see it happening. But the idol might as well tell it, right?

“Yeah, I was with ___ last night.”

Seojoon cocked an eyebrow as a wave of questions flooded his brain. But he only asked, “What happened?” He didn’t want to say beyond what he thought.

“Well, we made up.” Taehyung leaned forward, hunched over as he looked at his smoothie. “Uhh, there was more to it.”

“How so?”

“Last night, I got, uh, hammered.” The idol began. “To the point where I got into a fight.”

“Oh my God, Taehyung! Are you okay?” Concern washed Seojoon’s face as he scanned through his friend’s features, then he saw the bruising of his knuckles. “You don’t look too bad, but still. You broke your streak, you were doing so well. How did it happen?”

“Same thing on how most of my fights happen,” Taehyung huffed.

“What led you to that then?”

“I don’t know…I was really sad and hurt, and I hated what was happening with me and ___.”

“But you said you made up.”

“Yeah, after she found me knocking three dudes down, then I threw up and had a fucking panic attack.” The younger man sighed, using his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. “It was the worse one yet.”

“Oh, Tae.” Seojoon’s voice softened. “Did you manage?”

“More than manage because she was able to help me get back down.” The idol also settled his drink down before meeting his friend’s eyes. “I was still scared, so I didn’t wanna go back home and asked her if I could stay the night.”

Seojoon nodded softly, going into deep thought. “Anything else?”

“I told ___ about my shitty life, literally everything.” Well, almost everything. “If I wanted her to still be in my life, I didn’t want to hide that part, or whole, of me. ”

“How’d she take it?”

“Pretty well, I guess. She opened up to me too.”

“Well, that’s good…” The actor did his best by being supportive, but he was also a worried friend. “Did you tell Clara this? She’s probably worried sick.”

“No,” He scoffed. “Pissed me off with all her calls and text.”

“Taehyung, you know she’s concerned for you. Even if she’s gonna be more in distress when you tell her about your panic attack, she’ll understand.” Seojoon reasoned.

“No, she won’t.” Taehyung disagreed. “Because all she’ll ask was where I was, and if I tell her I was with ___, she’s gonna flip shit. She can’t even handle my panic attacks, so in my head, it’s like what’s the point?”

“Why are you making this difficult?” The older man complained yet it was said in a collected way that Taehyung never deflected on yet.

“Because she’s difficult and will never understand my perspective.”

“Aren’t couples supposed to have good communication? What’s wrong?”

His relationship never had the greatest communication, he couldn’t lie about that. But for the past year, it has gotten worse despite the somewhat progress Taehyung achieved. Her presence was getting too much for him. It overwhelmed all aspects of his being. He never felt like he had a rest from it. Something always happened and either side, mainly him, got drained.

He needed to get away.

Suddenly Taehyung had an idea, disregarding Seojoon’s question. “Hyung, can I ask you a favor or two?”

“So you never bothered to answer my calls, had me anxious, then you fucking come home after disappearing for almost an entire day with no clear explanation, and now you’re telling me this?”

Taehyung’s jaw clenched, pushing down what he wanted to yell as he continued to pack his luggage. “Fine, you want an explanation—I had a panic attack and I didn’t want to be home, so I rested at Seojoon’s house.”

Clara’s anger diminished went she heard those words. She started looking at him pitifully, which Taehyung never wanted from her. “Oh, Ta—”

“Save it.” He interrupted as he finished packing his clothes. “While being away, I realized that I need space.”

“W-what do you mean?”

He breathed out annoyed as he threw back his head to calm himself. “When I have panic attacks, you don’t know how to deal with them or even help me properly. You just fucking leave while I’m over there alone.”

“W-w-well, I want to but you told me to just leave you alone!” Clara tried to defend herself.

“Because saying the words ‘calm down’ and ‘relax’ to a distressed and anxious person is not helpful. Better to be alone than to hear that crap.” Taehyung responded as he left the bedroom to grab his beauty products from the bathroom, but not without Clara following his tail. “Besides the point, I realized something or I’ve been realizing.”

“What?”

“I know I’m not the best communicator, but I’m getting sick and tired of you breathing down my neck. If I don’t even talk to you for like an hour, I get hit with two hundred calls from you. You were never one to be needy. Why now?” His voice was stable and direct like he had practiced. He grabbed his items, then went back to the room.

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?” Clara scoffed as she walked behind him.

“Well, it feels like it.” He muttered as he put his products into pouches. “I can’t do anything without you watching my every move. I feel like I can’t be me right now, especially in my home.”

“So what then? Is that all that you’re going to say?”

“No, like I said I need space, which is why I need time away from you.” Once he had everything, he zipped up his luggage and pulled it to stand up. “I’m going to stay with Seojoon Hyung for a while. I need this.”

He then remembered something. He rushed to his closet and rummaged through his clothes and shoes before discovering his box filled with old memories. He quickly uncovered the lid and searched through many memorabilia including the pictures of the members and you. Finally, he found what he was looking for—his friendship bracelet.

Old, scruffed, but surprisingly, in pretty good condition where Taehyung puts in on and admired the handmade accessory for a while before he took a couple of childhood pictures of you and him for the road. He sneaked them in his pants pocket, then went back to his baggage.

Meanwhile, Clara was too busy with her feelings and thoughts to even question what Taehyung was doing. “Are you breaking up with me?” She asked in a whisper. “Please don’t. We can make this work. We—”

“No, I didn’t say that. I said I needed space. I wanna be by myself.”

“But you’re with Seojoon Oppa.”

“He has his own things to do, so I won’t even know he’s there,” Taehyung responded as they headed towards the hallway into the living room to get to the front door. “Remember a couple of sessions ago when my therapist told me to try and be alone since I get overwhelmed by the slightest of things?” She nodded. “Well, I want that right now. This is all too much for me. I’m not at my limit, but it’s getting there.”

Clara pursed her mouth. They both knew she didn’t like this one bit. She finally had Taehyung around, enjoying his presence and it was being taken away from her by the same man. But if this needed to happen to make this work, then so be it.

“If that’s what you need, then I’ll give it to you.” The socialite willingly accepted. Of course, either way, Taehyung was still going to do it. “But at least call me while you’re away.”

“Clara…” They reached the front door, now facing each other. One looked desperate while another looked depleted.

“Or at least text me! A simple good morning and a good night is fine too!” She pouted, still wanting a smidge of contact with her boyfriend.

Taehyung exhaled. Now he was taking pity on her, but in this case, she liked it. “Okay, fine. Good morning and good night. No more, no less. I’ll be okay and safe. If anything, call Seojoon if you need more updates.” He patted her head gently, staring blankly.

“I’ll miss you.”

“…Miss you too.”

“I love you, okay?” She tippy-toed to kiss him on the lips before hugging him tightly.

Taehyung reluctantly reciprocated it back, embracing his girlfriend for the last time in a while, “Okay, love you too.”

Tagged: @manuosorioh @kaal-ee @stfxthv @dahliasbouqet @bertqut1 @fuckthinking @taebangtanbabe @tan-veee @calmoistorm @militaryvvife @ellesalazar

#taehyung x reader #taehyung fic #taehyung fanfiction #kim taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #kim taehyung fanfic #kim taehyung #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts smut #bts x reader #matcha masterlist

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beeindaclouds · 2 years

Note

hello! so, i’m kind of new at requesting stuff at all so this is my first request to anyone basically so sorry if i don’t really get this well or anything

but i’ve been wondering, how would they react to being with their high school sweetheart for so long and how they are now? you don’t need to if you don’t want to but i hope you have a great day! and again, sorry if it was confusing!

( btw, can i be a anon?? if so, 🎟 anon? )

Hallo, thanks for requesting!

I saw that you requested this a second time, I'm sorry it took a while but as soon as I opened my request I was bombarded with them :'D

Anyways, I hope you enjoy and welcome to the family 🎟️ anon <3

DSMP react to being high school sweethearts for so long

Includes: Dream, Georgenotfound, Sapnap, Badboyhalo, Quackity, Karl Jacobs, Wilbur Soot, C!Technoblade, Nihachu, Eret, Punz, FoolishGamers, Awesamdude, Aimsey

Click Here before requesting, please ^^

Reader: GN - They/Them

You did so much for Dream during highschool; you were with him through thick and thin, so he is happy to still be able to spend his life with you. Especially now that he can give you whatever you ask, even if you feel guilty;

.·:*¨༺ ♛ ༻¨*:·.

George will sometimes just stare at you, especially when you're happily talking to chat. He just can't believe how lucky he got, and chat always makes sure to remind him of how love sick he is;

.·:*¨༺ ♛ ༻¨*:·.

I feel like Sapnap is already a lovesick puppy with you 24/7. He is literally stuck to you like glue and has been for years now. But whenever he's reminded of how long you've been togheter it just makes him randomly very happy and gives him the need to shower you in kisses;

.·:*¨༺ ♛ ༻¨*:·.

Bad gets a bit emotional when he's reminded of all those years you've spent togheter. You never judged him and always supported this career of his and he couldn't be more happy;

.·:*¨༺ ♛ ༻¨*:·.

Kind of like George, Quackity goes in a trance as he remembers all your happy moments togheter. He sometimes questions just how someone like you could stay with someone like him, but you are quick to change his mind about those questions;

.·:*¨༺ ♛ ༻¨*:·.

You and Karl have always had those "how did I get so lucky?" conversation. Once a month, one of you would look at the other and start going on a sweet spiral of compliments and happiness. It might me very cheesy, but you two don't really care;

.·:*¨༺ ♛ ༻¨*:·.

Wilbur realized how longs you've been togheter when he saw you screaming your lungs out at one of his concerts. To him seeing you in the crowd was like reliving all those moments where you were there for him, just like you are now and just like you would be in the future;

.·:*¨༺ ♛ ༻¨*:·.

[For Techno is since you joined the SMP] the voices love to remind Techno about all the times he went soft or was "simping" for you. So he is constantly thinking of how longs it's been and how happy you make him. But most importantly, how he wants to protect you from all those who would try to hurt you to get to him;

.·:*¨༺ ♛ ༻¨*:·.

Niki had been through a lot during her entire childhood, that's why she loves to relive her highschool days once in a while. Because there is where she met you, the best thing that happened to her;

.·:*¨༺ ♛ ༻¨*:·.

From time to time, Eret will tell you he loves you. Just out of no where, with no context. He just likes to see you go all shy and blushy, just like you did when he first asked you out

.·:*¨༺ ♛ ༻¨*:·.

Punz always acts tough around his friends, but whenever you are mentioned he cannot help but get soft. He'll sometimes even start rambling about your high school days to chat, and he won't stop for HOURS

.·:*¨༺ ♛ ༻¨*:·.

You'll sometimes see Foolish randomly smiling happily at absolutely nothing. And 90% of the time, when you ask him what got him smiling like that, he'll answer that he was thinking about all the years you've spent togheter and how he never wants this to end because he is so happy

.·:*¨༺ ♛ ༻¨*:·.

Sam gets cuddly whenever he's thinking about you. All those high school memories flood his head when he looks at you, and he feels like he's falling in love all over again; so he holds you close and whispers small "I love you's" that send chills down your spine

.·:*¨༺ ♛ ༻¨*:·.

Aimsey absolutely loves to have you around them, and will sometimes bring up moments you two had togheter just to see you get shy and and demand them to stop. They've always found this side of you to be very cute

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mediocracy-at-its-finest · 24 days

Text

New Book

Why Did I Say Yes…

Chapter One

A little word of advice, if one of your dumb ass friends invites you to explore an abandoned mansion, tell them to suck it. If I had had the balls to do that, I wouldn't be in this situation. Running from a pissed off, midieval, nobel vampire isn’t how I would like to spend my Tuesdays, but here we are. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, so lets rewind a little

Hello, I’m Catherine Blane, I’m 23 and way to old to be doing dumb shit like this. Or, at least I thought I was.

Two Hours Ago

“Come on Cath! You never do fun stuff with us anymore!” cried the blond. I glared over at her hard as I picked up the plates on the table.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t consider breaking into someones home fun. Also, Jenna, I’m working. If you could hold down a job for more then a few weeks you would know something about that.” I huffed as I turned from the table with several plates in my hand. Jenna Dunstock was my best friend… well former best friend. Jenna was definitely something special. I stopped hanging out with her after her second D.U.I. but that never stopped her from trying to hang out with me. I never understood why though, we were polar opposites. Jenna was wild and fun-loving, never afraid to go insane and break something... or someone. She was bright, airy, and kind of unbalanced. Everyone in our small town knew that. She did what she wanted when she wanted to, and no one could stop her. And right now she wanted me to drive her up to Witherthorn Manor, a local legend for the kids in the area. It was mostly visited by teenagers looking for a place to smoke.

“C’mon, Catherine! Don’t you want to have some fun? Don't you feel the adrenaline pumping through your veins and the thrill of doing something forbidden?” She exclaimed, with a wide grin on her face. Her bright curls bounced down the edges of her chin as she leaned closer, and her green eyes pleaded with me to listen to her.

"No Jenna! I have work to do, and I don't get off until nine. What, are you seriously expecting me to drive you to an abandoned mansion because you want to 'have some fun?'" I snapped. I glared at Jenna with an unamused expression.

"Ugh, come on, you're no fun!" she exclaimed, as she let out a loud groan. "Why can't you just relax a bit? It's not that serious. We're just taking a walk around an abandoned mansion. Like, what's the worst that could happen?"

"No way in hell I'm going! We aren't kids anymore." I hissed. "We have adult responsibilities, and I'm sure as hell not going to spend the evening getting slapped with charges for breaking and entering!" Then, I paused as memories of Daisy flooded back into my mind. She was only 12 when she went missing there. That tragedy shook our community hard, and I'm not going to risk bringing up old trauma, either. "That place is haunted, anyways - remember Daisy?"

Jenna flinched when I mentioned Daisy's name. She wasn't one to show much emotion, usually. But when it came to Daisy’s case, she always took it seriously. Because it's not something you forget. It's not something you can just pretend never happened.

“I remember,” she sighed, looking down at the ground. “But that was years ago. Just because something tragic happened there years ago doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen again.”

"Look..." I sighed, frustrated and impatient. "Just drop it already. There are tons of places in town to hang out, so who cares about that stupid, run-down old house anyway? Besides, I don't even have the gas money to drive all the way out there," I added with an annoyed roll of my eyes.

"Please, Catherine..." Jenna's green eyes pleaded. "Just let me have this. I'm tired of doing nothing in this boring old town. That place is the perfect opportunity for some fun and excitement. Don't you want to relive the glory days? You know, back when we all had fun and weren't so stressed about adult stuff?"

I sat down across from her, irritated and frustrated with the whole situation. "Fine," I snapped, pointing a finger at her. "But you're paying me for gas if I have to take you all the way there. Got it?"

Jenna grinned, satisfied with the compromise. "Hell yeah! Now we're talking!" She exclaimed, her bright energy contagious. "I'll get everyone else. Do you think Nick and Sarah would want to ride along? They've been itching for something exciting too."

"Dude!" I hissed, annoyed and agitated. "Nick is a total creep, and he's not getting in my car. I'll gladly give Sarah a ride, but don't even think about inviting him." I stood up sharply, ready to get back to work and leave this dumb conversation behind.

"Pfft, whatever." Jenna shrugged. "I'll just tell him to meet us there so he doesn't have to bug you during the ride." She smirked mischievously as she started to walk away, waving me off with a dramatic "Later!"

"No, no, no, wait!" I yelled after her, but I watched as she walked out the door. I groaned and turned to finish my shift

An Hour Later

Driving up the steep mountain in a tiny ass Honda Civic wasn’t my idea of a fun night. My head was pounding from the loud music blaring out of the one working speaker as Jenna and Sarah sang along. It was some popular song that always seemed to play on the radio, but I didn’t care enough to learn the name. I winced as Sarah failed to hit a high note in the song

“Okay! No more music!” I yelled over the blaring song as I hit the power button on the radio. Twin groans of disapproval met me and I gripped the steering wheel harder.

“Cathy you really are no fun…” complained Jenna as she slumped back in the passenger seat.

“Jen… Suck my dick. I’m trying to focus on not killing us.” I explained as I leaned forward, trying to see better in the pitch black that my headlights didn’t seem to touch. The road was long and winding, seemingly going on forever. With no warning it would go into hairpin turns with sheer drop offs on one side.

“Thanks for driving us Cath. It really means a lot.” came Sarahs voice from the back of the car. Sarah Conners was a friend of Jenna’s, I didn’t really know a lot about her, but I knew she was polite. And that was enough for me.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re welcome…” I mumbled as I slowed the car to a stop outside of a large, ornate wrought iron gate. I let out a low whistle as I put the car in park. The gate loomed overhead, standing at a colossal twelve feet in height. Instead of looking worn from age, it appeared as strong as the day it was forged. A large "D" had been cast into the center, and it too seemed to have no signs of aging either. I slowly opened the door of my car to get out and inspect it, along with the other two in the car.

“Oh my God…” I heard Sarah whisper, and I was right there with her. The gate was impressive… and locked. I watched as Jenna tugged on the gate only to come way disappointed.

“What? This isn’t supposed to be closed!” Jenna cried as she pulled harder. “Nick said that he was already here and he left the gate open!” My eyebrows scrunched as a bad feeling settled in my gut. Nick wasn’t known for playing pranks or making jokes like this, sure he was a perv but he wasn’t a liar.

“Maybe we should go, I don’t even see his car.” I said as I gazed through the bars of the fence. The overgrown grounds were dotted with haunting trees and crumbling statues. Dense vines crawled up the trees, almost as if they were trying to strangle what little life they had left. The statues weren’t in better shape, they were seemingly randomly scattered around the desolate grounds and they to were choked with plant life. I could barely make out the mansion from this distance but there wasn’t a car in sight.

“No, Nick said he was here.” I turned to look at Jenna only to gasp as I watched her climb the fence

“Jenna are you insane! Get down from there! You’re going to break something or get Tetanus!” I hissed at her as she climbed higher. Sarah followed her lead and started to climb aheres well. “Jenna Dunstock get your ass down right this instant or I swear to God I’ll leave you here!”

“If you’re going to be a baby then you can stay here.” Jenna laughed as she topped the gate and started down the other side. Sarah shot me a small smile as she also rounded the top of the fence. I paced back and forth as they dropped to the ground

“Jenna you have done a lot of dumb shit in your life but this one takes the fucking cake! You’re going to get murdered or something in there and I’m not going to feel bad about it at all!” I yelled as I stormed back to my car. I opened the door and slid into the seat as I watched Jenna flip me off from behind the gate. I scowled and flipped her off right back as I started the car… only to have the engine not turn over. “What..? No… No, no, no. no don’t do this to me now.” I pleaded with the car as I tried it again. Nothing. I groaned and dropped my head onto the wheel. When I looked up Jenna was gone but Sarah was still standing at the gate looking concerned.

“Everything okay?” I could barely hear her say before I grabbed my bag and got out of the car

“No, my car won’t start.” I growled as I kicked the tire. No tow truck company would even think about coming all the way out here to tow an almost 13 year old car. I turned to the gate and grabbed the iron to start climbing, only to have it open with a slight push. “Huh… I though Jenna tried to open it and it wouldn’t… strange…” I mumbled as I walked through.

“She did, and so did I. Maybe you’re magic!” She giggled. I rolled my eyes in annoyance and closed the gate behind me

“Whatever. Where did she go anyway?” I asked as I threw my bag over my shoulder. I looked around the creepy grounds and shuddered in the cool fall air. I should have brought a jacket.

“She said she was heading to the house because thats where Nick was.” Sarah replied as she zipped up her coat.

“Damnit. I hate that guy…” I growled lowly as I started walking. I kept my gaze on the ground to keep from tripping and breaking something, that would be the last thing I needed. The loose gravel crunched under my weight as I stepped over some vines. Everything was overgrown and unkempt. Well… I guess I shouldn’t complain, no ones lived here for almost a decade now, so there wasn’t anyone to take care of the place. After almost 15 minutes of walking we finally reached the front porch. The first step was broken but the rest seemed fine. I hesitantly put my weight on the stair and tested it before slowly ascending to the porch. Cobwebs covered almost every surface I looked. I waved my hand to break some of the strands in my way as I got closer to the door.

“Wow… this place is beautiful!” exclaimed Sarah as she looked up. I turned my gaze upwards to look at the building. The mansion loomed over the surrounding landscape like a brooding titan, its Gothic architecture casting long, ominous shadows that stretched across the desolate grounds. The stone exterior, once pristine and imposing, was now worn and weathered by time, its surface marred by cracks that spiderwebbed across its surface like veins of decay.

“Maybe if it wasn’t so run down. But come on, we need to find Jenna. Who knows what trouble shes got herself into.” I huffed as I turned back to the door and tested the knob. Surprisingly the door swung open with hardly any force, the hinges didn’t even creak as it swung open. I blinked before slowly walking inside. Dust covered every surface in thick layers. The carpet was a dark red color and surprisingly cushy as I stepped on it. To my left was a grand marble staircase that spiraled upwards towards the upper levels of the manor, its ornate banisters were coated in a thick layer of dust and cobwebs. To your right, a series of closed doors line the walls, their surfaces adorned with intricate carvings and ornate embellishments. I gave a whistle as I looked up at the far end of the foyer, a massive chandelier hung suspended from the ceiling, its once-gleaming crystals now dull and lifeless, casting feeble shards of light that flicker and dance across the walls.

“Holy shit… this place is amazing,” I heard Sarah say from behind me. I couldn’t help but nod in agreement. This place seemed to have been ripped right out of a novel or something. I couldn’t help but shudder as another feeling of unease settled deep in my stomach. Something wasn’t right here

“Jenna! Jenna where are you?” I called out to the empty room as I moved further into the manor. I opened the door on my right to what looked like a formal sitting room. The air was thick with the smell of dust and old wood. I squinted my eyes as I pulled my phone out and turned on the flashlight. I moved the beam around the room to get a better look at everything. The first thing I came across was a couch set that was draped in cloth that may have been white at one point. In one corner of the room sat a once grand piano. It to was covered in a layer of dust along with several pieces of sheet music that the ink had long faded on. The floor creaked underneath me as I turned to look at the large fireplace that covered a good portion of the wall. The decorations had long since rusted and the ash settled, a slight cool breeze could be felt from the chimney. I glanced over at Sarah who stood next to me.

“Look.” She said as she reached up above the fire place. I pointed my flashlight up just in time to watch her pull a sheet off of something on the wall. I immediately started sneezing and coughing from the large amount of dust that came down with the sheet. It took a few minutes before I was able to look up through watering eyes at the portrait. It had slightly yellowed with age but the painting was still breathtaking. The subjects were a young couple. One was a man with a hauntingly handsome visage, sharp, chiseled features and piercing blue eyes that seem to glimmer with an otherworldly intensity. His dark hair fell in tousled waves around his angular face, framing his pale complexion like a veil of shadows. He was clad in a tailored suit of deep crimson and midnight black. He stood with an air of aristocratic grace, his very portrait exuding an aura of power and mystery. The woman in the painting was sat in an ornate chair that just screamed wealth. Her features were unremarkable at first glance, with a thin face that was framed by a mane of dark chestnut hair that was pulled back in a complex bun. Her steel-gray eyes held a steely determination, but also betrayed traces of the fear that lurked beneath her stoic facade. She was dressing in Victorian mourning dress and held a black hat in her hand.

“Catherine, she looks like you.” Sarah said as she glanced between me and the portrait.

“W-What? No, you’re insane. This painting is at least a hundred years old, its just some freaky coincidence.” I mumbled as I stood on my tip toes to get a better look at the painting. I barely caught sight of the plaque at the bottom of the frame, “Darkwood… I wonder if that’s their name.” I said to myself. I went to step back when suddenly a loud scream erupted from behind us.

“Jenna!” Sarah yelled back as she took off in the direction of the sound, and I wasn’t far behind her.

#vampire x reader #original character #original story #books #first time writing #chapter 1

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cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien · 2 months

Text

Solar Opposites: Unleashed Scene: “The Birth of Lili”

Mutant Bat King Stephen laughs evilly while plotting.

Mutant Bat King Stephen: That’s right. As soon as those Solar Beasts get here, I’ll give them a piece of my mind-

Suddenly, Super Shlorpian Korvo flies in here while roaring.

Super Shlorpian Korvo: Not so fast!

Bat Mutant King Stephen: Grr! You again?!

Bat Mutant King Stephen then notices Super Shlorpian Korvo's pregnant belly and exclaims in horror

Bat Mutant King Stephen: Oh God! Is the Super Shlorpian pregnant?! WHAT THE FUCK?!

Super Shlorpian Korvo growls

Bat Mutant King Stephen: Well, you won’t be able to defeat me! Bat People, attack!

The bat people attack as Super Shlorpian Korvo flies into action

Super Shlorpian Korvo: Time to for you all to chill out! *breathes ice from his breath*

The Bat People are frozen as Bat Mutant King Stephen growls

Bat Mutant King Stephen: Stupid savage bitch! Why must you ruin everything?!

Super Shlorpian Korvo: Because I- *groans in pain as his water breaks* Please tell me my water didn't just break! Fuck! FUCK!

Bat Mutant King Stephen: *laughs evilly* I think you must be going into labor now!

Super Shlorpian Korvo flies and goes to somewhere to hide

Bat King Mutant Stephen: *laughs evilly* Better follow this weak bitch!

Super Shlorpian Korvo finds somewhere to hide and groans in pain

Super Shlorpian Korvo: No! Not now!

Super Shlropian Korvo cries out as blood spews out from under his Shlorpian vagina. Bat King Mutant Stephen is still looking for Super Shlorpian Korvo as he chuckles evilly.

Bat King Mutant Stephen: You can’t hide from me, Opposites!

Super Shlorpian Korvo breathes heavily

Super Shlorpian Korvo: *crying as he kept pushing* FUCK! OH GOD! *cries out in pain*

Bat King Mutant Stephen hears Super Shlorpian Korvo and smirks

Bat King Mutant Stephen: I got you now!

Super Shlorpian Korvo: Shit! I gotta-

But Super Shlorpian Korvo keeps crying out as he is the close to giving birth.

Super Shlorpian Korvo: *pushes really hard* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

Then, suddenly, a cute baby Shlorpian girl with the same skin color as Terry is born as she starts crying. Super Shlorpian Korvo gasps and sheds tears of joy.

Super Shlorpian Korvo: *tearfully in happiness* Oooh my sweet little sprout…

Bat King Mutant Stephen suddenly appears

Bat King Mutant Stephen: Ah-ha! Got you now!

Super Shlorpian Korvo gasps.

Super Shlorpian Korvo: *grabs Lili and hold her safe carefully close to him* Stay away from her you bitch!

Bat King Mutant Stephen: *laughs* I don't plan on hurting you...yet.

Lili: *cries*

Super Shlorpian Korvo: What are you talking about?

Bat King Mutant Stephen: You and your family will meet me and my people here for a battle tomorrow at dawn!

Mundane Terry: *offscreen* My Korvy!

Super Shlorpian Korvo turns around and gasps. He then sees Mundane Terry, Super Shlorpain Yumyulack, Mundane Jesse and Were-Kraken Sonya and are relived he is okay. But then, Mundane Terry bites Bat King Mutant Stephen on the arm to get him away from husband as he snarls.

Bat King Mutant Stephen: How dare you?! I am a king! You will respect my authority!

Mundane Terry punches Bat King Mutant Stephen, who snarls and flies away from the family. The monster Replicants and Werekraken Sonya run up to Super Shlorpian Korvo and are overjoyed to see their new baby sister.

Mundane Jesse: Is that our sister?! Korvo, how did this-

Super Shlorpian Korvo: *shedding tears of joy* It was some kind of miracle. Your new sister is born. Kids, meet Lili.

Lili: *coos*

Werekraken Sonya: *smiling and softly doing a nose kiss on Llili* Hello baby sister…

Lili: *coos*

Super Shlorpian Yumyulack: *shedding tears of joy* Aw she looks so cute.

Super Shlorpian Korvo: Yeah..she is... *starts weeping*

Mundane Terry: Oh honey… *holds Super Shlorpian Korvo close* Shh… *smiling at Lili* Hey there sweetie… I’m your daddy…

Lili babbles and touches Mundane Terry's face as Super Shlorpian Korvo laughs.

Super Shlorpian Korvo: She really likes you.

Mundane Terry chuckles

Mundane Terry: Hell yeah she does. *tickles Lili’s chin softly as it makes her giggle*

Super Shlorpian Korvo: You know, she almost looks just like you.

Mundane Terry: I know. Look at her beautiful green skin. Welcome to the world Lili…

Super Shlorpian Korvo kisses his Mundane husband on the lips.

Lili: *babbling*

Mundane Jesse: Hey, Lili...

Lili touches her father’s face as Mundane Terry chuckles. Lili then yawns and falls asleep as the two monster alien husbands smile at their new baby.

#solar opposites #solar opposites au #solar opposites: unleashed #super Shlorpian korvo #pregnant korvo #lili solar opposites #bat king mutant stephen #Stephen the wall

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imperfect777 · 2 months

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Part 1

Hello 👋🏻 maybe you don't remember me but in December I asked you if there was no problem if I could fulfill myself even if I had a bad past or how I was in the past and that I had a lot of regret for what I did and you recommended many things to me, the truth is when I spoke With you that day I felt more relieved, it felt like a relief to finally see that doubt resolved because I had never spoken to someone about that topic. I'm very ashamed and I love my parents but I don't have enough confidence to talk to them much less with anyone else and I thank you for listening to me and also to another blogger to whom I said the same thing, well on that task you gave me no I could write what I felt because I relived everything I did and it became unpleasant and it only made my feeling and my self-concept worse so I couldn't do it, but I did cry a lot I even screamed into the pillow but I still felt pain I don't know how to explain it it's strange but I screamed but I still felt pain in my chest, that the day I even hit the pillow (poor pillow right) I felt a little better, but I still have that problem, I tried to focus on my 4d (desires, imagination, etc.) but my past continued appearing and I kept questioning if I deserved it, for example I imagined me and my sp loving each other and my head told me *who would like to be with you because of what you did? Do you think I would date a bad person like you? Do you think anyone would love you? Do you want to be loved? You would have thought that before* The list is long, plus if I imagined my desired life my head said *do you plan to live a happy life? Do you deserve it?* Anyway, even when I see some people talking about deserving it it makes my stomach turn a little, well I wanted to enter the void so I could erase my past (I have seen many success stories that changed their lives since their birth until his whole life) which I saw as a hope of being at peace but he said *ok, I will change everything as if nothing had happened, but inside me that person continues to live in my memory I will continue to see that past, which makes me continue without deserving it*

Hello hun. I remember you and our interaction luv, I’m no therapist so I can’t tell you what to do. But whatever will clear your mind and but you in a better state and mind please do so. Whatever makes you genuinely happy, Do it. If you don’t know, Try new things and find new hobbies. Bring yourself peace and happiness. Of course your desires probably play a major role in that but, I really feel like you should focus on yourself as of right now. Your mental and physical health is important. Get yourself mental health back on track and then back to the basics. SELF CONCEPT HUN. First things first, Your happiness, Your mental and physical health. Take care of yourself. Let’s get that together first. Then you can focus back on your desires. You can manifest your desires in any kind of state or condition but I think you should work on your mental health first because that’s just as important as your desires. Way more important actually. Of course I still feel as if you should let your emotions out, Cry and do whatever you have to do. Don’t bottle up your emotions, Let your emotions out and don’t look back. After that it’s dead. There’s nothing else to worry about. Let it out and do something that makes you happy right after, Continue to enjoy your day and make yourself happy. Now on to the next, You deserve everything you want and more. What you desire is meant for you, You can and will have everything you desire. You deserve peace, love, happiness, and everything else you desire and soooo much more. And you will get it. Nothing can stop you or hold you back from getting whatever it is you desire. Emotions don’t matter, Your emotions aren’t connected to your desires, Your mind is. You can feel however you feel but that doesn’t effect anything your manifesting. Just don’t let your emotions get the best of you and drive you to spiral. If you happen to do, Do that. It’s okay, Calm yourself down and breathe, And get back in the state of the wish fulfilled. This is where time comes in. Time doesn’t matter, The past or future doesn’t matter, The present is the only thing that matters. Whatever happened in the past is done and over with. It’s dead, Even if it just happened. It’s dead. Focus on the now, If you didn’t have your desires 3 seconds ago that doesn’t matter but you have them NOW! I know I know I say this a lot but please work you your self concept before diving into any of your other desires. At least for a week. Use whatever method you want and how many affirmations you need. Just please work on your self concept and prioritize your mental health and yourself because you’re important! Honestly like I said i’m no doctor or therapist but maybe you need to heal something within, Find something to help you finally let go of your past. Because it’s old. It’s literally dead. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters but the now.

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grapejuicegay · 2 years

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crazy theory time! Hello, I hope you don't mind me trying to formulate thoughts by clogging up your asks haha (sorry in advance, love your eclipse posts and you feel super approachable!) But I've been having Thoughts I was hoping to soundboard off someone. I've seen a lot of people mention that in the first trailer there was a glimpse of Akk going off the cliff. I'm pretty sure the show will have a happy ending so I tried not to take it too seriously. But, PT1

[...contd.] But after what they pulled with the imagined kiss, and all the times Aye has imagined (or relived?) Dika doing the same, I'm seeing that scene in the trailer WAY differently. Do you think maybe that's from something Aye had a nightmare about? More and more we've been seeing Aye push his own mission and intentions to the for Akk's sake (such as not exposing him as 'the curse') And more and more we've been seeing Akk despair with what's right and all the pressure and manipulation he's under. We already know Aye hates lying (I don't think he's ever fully lied on the show in fact! He's avoided questions with deflection but never and outright lies about himself) and I think that's because he values the truth so much, maybe something he learned from Dika? He keeps asking Akk to tell the truth in more ways than one (the curse, Akk's feelings for Aye, etc.) Which brings me to my crazy theory... We've seen that Aye is so desperate to keep from losing anyone the same way he lost Dika, that he'd do just about anything. But I think that will lead Aye to do something totally against his original mission to keep from losing Akk at any cost, even if it means sacrificing himself. But that's going to mean Aye will lose himself in the process. I do think there's a HEA, so phew! But the pain for Aye ahead breaks my heart! :( Though, in good news - I think Akk will be the one person that can get through to him at a time like that. I think Akk will be able to bring Aye back with telling Akk the truth about how he feels about him (maybe a parallel of the "I love it when..." scene?). And if that's the case, I might burst into tears haha. Anyway! Thank you for entertaining my rambling! Hope it wasn't too much of a bother, and have a lovely day! :) ❤️

Hi anon!! Thank YOU for giving me a chance to talk about The Eclipse even more!

I agree, I’ve been thinking for a while that Akk going off the cliff was Ayan’s nightmare. But with the last ep establishing that the nightmare is a result of Ayan’s guilt that Dika died because they left him alone basically confirmed it for me.

We already know Aye hates lying (I don't think he's ever fully lied on the show in fact! He's avoided questions with deflection but never and outright lies about himself)

I don’t know if you’ve seen this wonderful meta by @liyazaki but it goes over Ayan not lying and his thought process when his mother asks if he’s going to leave her too better than I ever could put it.

I hate the thought of Ayan sacrificing himself (hasn’t the poor boy been through enough) but I could see him doing it. I’m hopeful it won’t go that way for several reasons though!

The first is this clip from the eclipse special at 5:49 where Akk and Ayan seem to have released some sort of project together. I’ve convinced myself at this point that it’s them working together to expose Suppalo. I may be totally wrong but until the show tells me that explicitly, I’m hanging on to it.

And the thing is... I don’t think Ayan protecting Akk would go against his mission. His mission, as far as we’ve been told is, “I’m going to wreck Suppalo and they’re going to make up for the shit they did.”

The shit they did includes what they’re doing to the students, and includes the intense brainwashing Akk is under. Hell, Ayan’s even told Akk to his face that he’s never met anyone as brainwashed as him.

The really really beautiful part of their relationship for me is that the only secret there is between them is that Dika is dead. There are no secrets set up to break them apart for a last minute separation - Akk being the curse could easily have been that. No, they both know since the very beginning that Ayan knows that Akk is the curse. They’ve talked about it plenty, even.

And Dika being dead, instead of a traitor that left them to work at another school? I think that is something that would bring them even closer together, maybe even help finally convince Akk that maybe, just maybe, his school’s reputation isn’t the most important thing and that sacrificing himself for it doesn’t really help anyone.

I’m really nervous about how all of this is going to play out especially considering that there’s only 4 episodes left but they’ve given me no reason to not trust them so far

(I also still fully believe that Akk thinks the curse is real and him acting as it keeps it at bay and - not to trust the previews but - I’m hoping the next episode is going to address that)

Honestly, more than Ayan I’m worried about the road ahead for Akk. His entire worldview is set to be shifted entirely and not only does he have that to consider and where his morals stand in relation to that, but also his entire future. He’s constantly under so much pressure and keeping so many secrets I really don’t understand how he hasn’t fully crumpled already.

Not that it’s going to be easy for Ayan. Assuming he does get his revenge, he’s going have to finally process the grief of losing Dika outside of anger. Once again, he needs so many hugs. Just, constantly someone hugging him. Maybe people taking turns to do so while he’s busy clinging to Akk like a koala

AND A PARALLEL TO THE I’LL TELL YOU MY FEELINGS SCENE. If there’s any sort of variation on that, let me tell you I won’t be talking about it. Because I’ll already be dead. I’ll be found paused at that scene and it would be a happy way to go tbh. Idk about you but I’m not prepared (I need it now)

Thank you for your ramblings, I loved reading them! As you can see, we love rambling thoughts in this house 🥰🥰🥰

#and thank you for saying I feel approachable #skfjdkfjd i don't even know how to respond to that but pls know i'm blushing #tomorrow! are you ready!#(sorry it took me so long to respond i was thinking about it a lot but also irl stuff got in the way #the eclipse #the eclipse series #ayan protection squad #< i'm making it a thing now

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wandasmaximoff · 2 years

Photo

CHARLIE COX and KRYSTEN RITTER as MATT MURDOCK and JESSICA JONES in THE DEFENDERS (2017)

#marveledit #defendersedit #mattmurdockedit #jessicajonesedit #useryolanda #mcufam #dailymarvelgifs #usercy #marvel #the defenders #matt murdock #jessica jones #*#hello I’m reliving them don't mind me

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achoonihaachu · 2 years

Text

God Must Hate Me; The First Ending

a/n: hello! welcome to the beginning of the end!.... no literally because i've got 3-4 endings planned >< i hope this ending is a good start because honestly it's such a bittersweet feeling that i've started working on the ending to my very first series on the obey me fandom :<< stay tuned for the different endings ilya :DD

warning: cursing, fighting, implications of toxic relationships, mentions of insecurities and low self-esteem, implications of self-hatred, heavy spoilers for lesson 16 and season 1 in general, not proof read!

pairings: pairings: Simeon x mc, Solomon x mc, Diavolo x mc, Barbatos x mc, Demon Brothers x mc (individually), Luke x mc (PLATONIC!), MC x Fem!OC

reminder: do not be afraid to put yourself first! toxic relationships come in all shapes and sizes and at different points in your life so be careful out there! you deserve complete, genuine happiness so don't let anyone come between you and your happiness aight? >:((

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You cover your mouth with your hand and bite the flesh of your palm as you sob. Your knees buckle weakly but you try to stay strong; you’re not going to fall in front of them. Not yet. Not before you’ve forgiven them, “You all lied to me! You- You all promised to love and take care of me. I- I- I” You hiccup back a broken sob as your shoulders shake violently with every heave.

“I have given up everything for all of you… Everything.”

Everyone else in the room watched helplessly; It wasn’t that they felt you were overreacting but they genuinely didn’t know how to begin when approaching you again after everything that had happened. Were Simeon and Solomon supposed to comfort you? Could the brothers even approach you? Maybe even Yuki?

No one dared take the first step.

Your eyes were wide when you looked back up again. You almost seemed to be… daring them to try and explain their side, “I’ve been threatened, hurt, killed for all of you and this is what I receive as thanks?” Your voice was weak, barely louder than a whisper but they heard it clear as day.

Ever the composed, responsible brother, Lucifer looks up; his gaze was previously trained to his shiny loafers. “(MC)- I- We know how you’re feeling. We know that you’re disappointed and- I would like to offer my most genuine apology.” He breathed out; he couldn’t meet your eyes. He tried but the complete and utter heartache that reflected in your tears were too much for him to handle.

He swallowed his pride.

“You don’t know how painful it was to have to relive every moment you hurt me. Merihem… He made me go through it all. All at once.” You cried. The brothers winced at the thought before they stole small glances at the seventh-born. Of course, he committed the biggest crime against you. Sure, the other boys threatened and hurt you to varying degrees but Belphegor… He actually succeeded.

He sucked in a shaky breath before falling to his knees in tears. Ever the caring twin, Beelzebub was by his side in a nanosecond, “I’m sorry, (MC). I regret what I did every single day. Weren’t we happy? Didn’t you forgive me? I- I thought that since we were okay before your first year was over I-”

“We were okay back then, Belphegor. Then everything changed, don’t you remember?”

“Yuki came here, she lived with us and… you all pushed me away. I-” You lean against the door. You sucked in a breath before you fell to your knees; the dam had finally broken. The tears were free flowing, running, streaming, wildly down your cheeks as you sobbed. The brothers scramble over to you, all hesitatingly so. You didn’t fight them off as your mind was clouded with visions of the memories you were forced to live through.

You were pulled into their embrace, a tight huddle of seven pairs of arms just holding onto you and onto one another. They sounded far-off, you didn’t realize that you were sobbing into the arms of Mammon.

Apologies were hushed, they were whispered into your ears like a chanted mantra or a prayer and all you could think of was how deep the betrayal ran. How far they went for their own desires and how stupid you were for loving them.

Well, if you could kick yourself, you would because… You still love them.

From the couch, Solomon was silently weeping as he rubbed circles on Yuki’s back. The girl was an absolute wreck; she knew you were being mistreated but she hadn’t done enough. She sees how your body was wracking in sobs as Mammon held you up and the other brothers were all surrounding you and all she wanted to do was push them all away.

None of them deserved to be close to you after everything they did but did she deserve to even decide that? After she had lied to you? After they all lied to you, after they had all hurt you, were any of them deserving of your time and forgiveness?

Simeon was recluse; He had pulled away from the group to inspect the broken window. The way the parapet was in shambles, the mosaic was unrecognizable splayed on the floor in a sea of shards, and all he could really focus on was how your voice sounded so pained.

It reflected in the mess of the window; You were this beautiful mosaic that they were blessed with, you were a masterpiece to be treasured and they’ve all but broken you beyond repair.

Simeon whips around and marches over to you with a shaky breath, “(MC), you do not have to forgive any of us. It must seem funny to hear those words coming from an angel but after everything you have been through with the brothers, with us, you’re not in the wrong to say that you want to forget everything again.” He says softly. The brothers stare at him in disbelief; a few faces contorted in suppressed anger but they knew that Simeon had a point.

You deserved better than the treatment they’ve put you through for almost a year.

Diavolo clears his throat from where he had stood in line earlier, “If you so choose, we can arrange for your return to the human world. We’ll erase all your memories of your time here in the Devildom and you’ll be returned to your home in the human realm. You’ll be given memories to substitute the two year gap in your memories and we will stay away…”

“That is, if that’s what you want, (MC).”

You look up from Mammon’s arms and stare at Diavolo; you look like you were deep in thought… Why? Mammon had dropped the aloof facade the moment you held onto him as you cried. He had done what he could to keep you steady whilst his brothers tried calming you but seeing you looked serious, almost as though you were considering Diavolo’s offer…. It terrified him.

“N-no… Please don’t go, (MC). I- We’ll treat you better. I promise. I’ll give you anything, you can even take Goldie just please please stay with me- with all of us.” He whispered brokenly to you.

Your gaze comes back to the second-born, “H-How can I guarantee that you won’t hurt me anymore. You’ve made so many promises- You’ve hurt me before so who says you won’t again?” You whimper.

“Make a pact with me.”

Lucifer lets out a small gasp as Diavolo steps over to you with a sorry smile, “If the Avatars cause you any more harm, let me know. You have my word that I will deal with their nuisances, if you’d like I’ll even send them to the ninth circle. You’ll be safe, under my protection.” He says softly, a hand outreached to you.

You glance at Barbatos; surely his butler would object to something of this caliber- The Future King of Hell making a pact with a mere human to make them stay? All Barbatos does is nod and he sends you the most miniscule of smiles.

“Do you understand that what you’re asking of me is extremely selfish of all of you again? You expect me to trust you again, to forgive you after all you’ve made me go through just like that all for a pact with you, Diavolo?” You seemed to not believe it; the audacity they had, really. Diavolo knew how it looked but a part of him gave into the desperation seeping into his heart. He has seen the way the Avatars had thrived, witnessed it firsthand, he sees how even he has changed since your arrival and though unfair, he wasn’t just about to let you go.

“I know it’s selfish but I know that there has to be a part of you, even if it’s smaller than the size of a single Grimm, that still cares about us- about the brothers. I am willing to use myself as a bargaining chip. I will guarantee your safety and a formal pact with me… In exchange, all I beg of you is another chance for all of us to right every wrong.” He says.

You glance at the brothers and bite your lip in thought; Isn’t it unfair that Diavolo had to make this deal with you? Shouldn’t the brothers be the ones begging- groveling at your feet- for your forgiveness?

“I will consider your offer Diavolo. I just… I don’t feel like any of you truly do care. Belphie- Belphegor cried for me, Mammon held me, Lucifer apologized but… I’m sorry that isn’t enough to compensate for the heartache.” You whisper. The brothers glance at one another; Where do they even begin?

Do they kneel and beg? Do you want to punish them? How do they begin to atone for their sins?

“I’m just so tired of hoping that you all value me. I want to feel it. I want to feel that you love me even a quarter the amount that I love you…” You start; Glancing around the room, with clear sight now, you realize that this whole thing has taken a toll on everyone. It was as though the situation with Merihem was what had pushed everyone over the ledge. “Make me believe that you all care about me more because I’m not just some glorified babysitter and therapist for your family. I’m a part of this family too.”

“So treat me like family.”

Asmodeus steps towards you slowly just as you turn in his direction. For a moment, you visibly flinch. He was one you had the most trouble with during the phase when everyone was obsessed with Yuki because he turned into this venomous snake who turned on you. You loved him dearly but he hurt you to the core.

Seeing your reaction with Asmodeus… God, the Fall hurt less. You looked terrified and in that moment, the fifth-born has never felt smaller in his life under the gazes of those in the room with him. The way his brothers looked at him disapprovingly, as though he had messed everything up, had his lip wobbling, “I- (MC), I never meant for it to get this far…”

“Asmo, you told me that I would never be good enough… I spent so many sleepless nights staring at my reflection in the mirror because you told me that I would never measure up to Yuki. You tore me down. I- I can’t just trust you so easily after all that.” You mutter as you turn away from him.

“I understand, (MC), but please don't leave. I can work on it! I can make it up to you because I love you, dear!-”

“No pet names, Asmodeus… Thank you.”

Hearing you say that had the Avatar of Lust break down in tears but he held it together enough to nod, “Yes, I understand. Please just… Stay here in the Devildom with us and let us make it up to you. Please. You’re the best thing to have happened to us in millenia.”

You stay facing toward Diavolo, Lucifer and Mammon but your eyes are trained on the floor. You nod. “I… I don’t forgive any of you yet. Not by a long shot. I was made to feel replaceable. Worthless. I was unloved and unwanted in this house. I… I don’t want to stay in Purgatory Hall either.” At that, Simeon and Solomon perk up.

“W-What?! (MC), no!”

You motion for them to quiet down, “I don’t think I can trust you two either. You lied to me. You… You were okay with letting me believe that I made myself forget you.” You say sadly. The pair fell silent; They thought they were doing the right thing. They just felt so strongly that they needed to protect you but… They weren’t able to keep your heart safe.

“Quite frankly none of you deserve a second chance but why do I want to forgive you so badly? I can’t hate any of you.” Your voice was soft and laced with a type of vulnerability that you had never shown them. You were right though; none of them deserved a moment of your time or your forgiveness. You’ve given them so many chances, the brothers specifically, and they’ve taken your heart and stomped on it repeatedly.

The other exchange students as well as the Prince and his butler were a different story. You could and should forgive them but it would… It would hurt the brothers too much to see you slip through the gaps in their fingers like falling sand again. They weren’t letting you go without putting up a fight.

“Maybe it’s because deep down, you still love us. Maybe a part of you believes that it’ll be worth it because I can swear to you in the name of our Father that you will not regret it if you gambled on us again. One last chance is all we ask for.” Mammon pipes up. Leave it to the brother with the gambling addiction to bring up a final chance, a final try, to mend everything they’d broken within you.

Your fingertips felt for the material of Mammon’s jacket. The cashmere felt smooth against your hold; it felt expensive but you expect nothing less. Your mind fills with memories of when you were able to snag the jacket from his greedy hands. You would run around the house with the damned thing donned on your shoulders. You miss being able to laugh so freely with them.

God, where did you all go wrong?

You balled your hands into fists as you sat up, pulling away from Mammon’s hold. You kept your head hung low as you swung. Your hands beat against Mammon’s chest erratically, without pattern, but your hits weren’t ever hard enough to genuinely hurt.

The second-born took it all.

“Why’d you have to hurt me? Why’d you have to stop picking me? Why? What’s so wrong with me? Why’d you get tired of me… so quickly?” You cried, your hits grew weak as you slumped against the light-haired demon defeatedly. The brothers exchanged glances; Lucifer stood above you all, he watched as his brothers knelt beside you to console you, he was truly lost in that moment.

His pride didn’t let him process the fact that he had failed you… again.

“All I ever wanted was for you to love me. To pick me at the end of the day but you never did.” Your cries were like nails on a chalkboard for the brothers. They’d much rather claw their own ears off then to see or hear you this upset again but deep down they knew that they had done this to themselves.

They’ll just have to pick up the broken pieces of your heart.

“Nothing we say will ever be enough to let you know in words how sorry we feel. I- We are so sorry. We’re sorry… We’re so sorry..” Lucifer’s movements are slow as he lowers himself beside you. His hands are soft and gentle as he pulls you into his arms. He says his apologies like a hummed prayer into your ear.

Not once in your time of knowing him did he ever apologize so tenderly.

Your cries are reduced to small hiccups as you’re held by the eldest. His brothers gather around him, hesitating.

After what seemed like forever and a minute, you clear your throat and look for Diavolo in the room. “Dia… I- I’d like to take you up on your offer. I’d like to make a pact with you.”

The seven brothers didn’t even realize they were all holding in a breath until they all saw the way the others’ shoulders sagged in released stress. They didn’t realize that the mere thought of you leaving them was enough to strike fear and uncertainty into their hearts.

A sharp but small pain struck deep in their hearts; You didn’t trust them enough to just want to simply stay. You needed reassurance from someone more powerful to ensure the safety and protection of your heart. The feeling leaves as quickly as it came though. They were just happy to know that you were willing to hear them out and that you even just considered staying with them.

You sat in the middle of the room, across from Diavolo who was seated on the floor in a similar fashion as you. Everyone else sat on or by the couch. You were about to make a pact with the Prince of Hell.

“The pact mark will be located on your left bicep, a few inches from your shoulder, okay? Like your pacts with the Seven Demon Lords, it’ll be painless and you’ll be able to get rid of a pact if you so choose. Do you still want to make a pact with me?”

“Yes.” You state. For a moment you considered whether or not you’d be happy with your decision. You’d be making another decision that would bring joy to the very people that hurt you but… you took a single glance at Mammon’s face. His eyes were teary and he stared at you with such remorse but beyond that, he stared at you with so much love…

You were weak for them, you’d give them your heart if they so asked.

You loved them and you knew that they loved you too. You felt your heart break once more. You loved them so much but in the back of your mind you knew. You knew that letting them go would’ve been what was best for you. The days you’ve spent crying for them, dying for them, replayed in your mind. The countless nights you’ve spent questioning your sanity because you didn’t know where you went wrong. You didn’t know why they were so important to you.

You loved them so and you knew that you needed to let go but you were selfish. As you felt your arm warm from the permanent mark Diavolo was leaving on your skin, you watched the way the brothers looked on so observantly… As though they were afraid that you’d change your mind. You smiled bitterly to yourself.

You knew you’d feel your heart break further in the future because of the very people that stood before you but you never truly grasp the concept of self preservation. You loved them more than life itself.

Perhaps as long as you love selfishly, you’d make up for what they lack when it comes to you. Perhaps they’d finally stop taking you for granted when you truly leave one day but for now, loving them means loving selfishly.

Your heart be damned, all you needed was them.

"you forgive the brothers..."

"but at what cost...?

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crossed out names are of those who asked to be tagged but for some reason, i just couldn’t tag you! :<< i’m not sure if it’s because some of you are private accounts, im not even sure how tumblr works sometimes but i’m sorry! i’ll keep trying to tag you in the future! <33

#obey me x reader #obey me x mc #obey me replaced mc au #obey me shall we date #obey me angst #obey me headcanons #obey me #obey me swd

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poptod · 2 years

Note

Hello There 👋🏻 I don’t know if you got the request that I sent to you last week, but I’m gonna send it again just in case. Since Christmas is in two weeks, may I please request a Safin x Reader, where Safin surprises the reader by kissing them underneath the mistletoe 😁💕?

notes: i didn't get ur ask! that's very weird, ive heard of that happening but its never happened to me but anyway, this is a little short but i hope you likethisone! i kinda made it a continuation of 'can you touch your reflection' cuz im a little lazy lol also this story gave me reason to study trees so i finally memorized whichone deciduous means cuz i got confused on whether it meant theleaves fell or they stayed throughthe winter okay sorry for thelong note (and the typing, my space is still stuck)

WC: 1.7k

There were few differences between summer and winter when it came to the Kuril islands. Summers lasted no more than a month or two, and they were filled with wind and rain, which battered cool, summer storms on the large windowpanes of the labs. Winters bore foreboding blizzards and long, dark days, bringing the same storms––though much colder––that the summer did.

Regardless of the change in season, you looked out of the pristine glass and found an overcast sky predicting thick layers of precipitation. Snow already coated the land.

Neither you nor Safin were especially religious, meaning even the more homey areas in the bunker remained undecorated, vacant from the holiday cheer you knew in your childhood. He never celebrated holidays in his life, but you had, and a part of you missed the traditions that called back to your ancient ancestors. How strange your yearning now seemed, when in those times you endured your worst years.

You sighed deeply, leaning your cheek into your propped up palm as you stared out the massive wall of windows. Fog crawled up the window at your breath, and the freezing air outside kept it there, seeping the frost into your home.

"What is it you're missing, dear?"

You whipped around, your shoulders tensed until you realized it was only Lyutsifer behind you. As usual, the blue cloak on his shoulders kept him warm, while his bare hands were kept close to his chest. The scars on his skin left him more sensitive to Russia's chill.

"Nothing, I don't think," you said quietly, but it was still the loudest sound in the empty, echoing room, and your voice caught on the high ceiling.

A soft, humorless chuckle left him, and he stepped closer. You adored how he smiled; how it'd make stars appear in your eyes, how it made you smile, as well.

"What can I do for you?" He asked as he sat down across from you, his hands folded neatly in his lap and his posture pristine.

"What do you mean?"

"You've been here nearly all day," he said. "It's 16 o' clock."

"Really?" You rubbed your eyes, hoping to rid them of the cold. "I didn't notice."

"Clearly." He scanned you for a moment. "Is this about your father?"

You stiffened, your lips curling into a thin line.

"You don't miss him, do you?" He asked quietly.

"No. I just... remember," you mumbled, fidgeting with your fingers. "Somehow I want to relive it, even though I know it was bad."

"A classic sign of trauma," he said, and you gave a tiny nod. "Will you let me distract you?"

He offered you his hand. You smiled, closing your eyes as you placed your hand in his.

"Of course, my love."

If there was one place in this building that ever felt any love, it would be the garden. He spent ceaseless, tireless hours studying and maintaining the plants, testing their abilities and their limits.

You'd never had the peace of mind to read as deeply into the biological art as he did, but you knew a fair amount of the names of what he grew. In the very least they were all familiar, despite the daily change of natural growth, including the vines that grew up the side of a tall, thorny tree. Every time you visited the garden with Lyutsifer, another sprout of ivy was ready to bloom.

"Careful with that one, dear," he said, leaning the short way down to peer over your shoulder. "It's been weak lately."

"I know, black locust, deciduous" you chuckled, turning to watch how the edges of his lips twitched upwards beside you.

"Tell me what it does."

"Bark and roots are poisonous, especially to horses, and the seeds are poisonous to humans, I think."

"Very good." He pecked your temple. "Can you tell me what makes it a potential invasive species?"

"The.. the wood is weak, and the flowers grow in clusters, meaning there's lots of seeds that are being spread in a small area."

"The wood is brittle, but otherwise correct," he chuckled. "It grows incredibly quickly and is highly susceptible to locust attacks."

The two of you shared knowing smiles for a split second before he departed, returning with scissors to trim a low-growing bush. As always when he worked, he had donned large, white gloves, protecting him from the poisons of his trade.

The garden was a special sort of beauty; not particularly aesthetically pleasing to the eye, but paired with the knowledge of its' contents, became a marvel of nature. You could spend hours wandering through his family's gardens, but as usual, you were more caught up in watching Lyutsifer tend to the plants.

What happened catch your eye was something new––something that appeared to be a round bush, clinging to the barren tops of deciduous trees. From the way it grew, you assumed it to be another one of his infectious plants, invading and killing the natural growth of a forest. Here, however, it was contained, and you stared with a gently knotted brow at the clusters that stretched across the dry, tangled wood.

"Lyutsifer," you said softly, not bothering to tear your eyes from the tree. You knew he'd be at your side in a second.

"Yes?" He tucked his gloved hands behind his back.

"Is this tree infected or something?"

"Yes. With mistletoe."

You paused, turning to him after a moment's silence during which he didn't elaborate.

"Mistletoe?" You repeated.

"Yes, an obligate hemiparasite." You grinned silently as he began to blurt out facts, a habit he picked up when the two of you were alone. "Obligate parasites are unable to live any longer without a host to feed off of. But the hemiparasite part dictates that the mistletoe only takes some of the hosts' resources, and collects other resources on its' own."

"What does it take from the tree?"

"Water. It can photosynthesize, but none of its' roots seep water from the earth.." he trailed off as he stared up at the infection. "Phora and viscotoxin make it a poison, though a poorly working one."

"Is it... new?" You asked, unable to recall if you'd seen it before or not.

"Yes, only a week or so. It grows incredibly quickly, which is fortunate for the use I've planned for it," he said with a small nod.

You chuckled, "what've you got in mind for it? Some other devious poison?"

"No," he answered simply. "You'll find out."

You narrowed your eyes suspiciously in his direction, hoping the glare would pry more information, but he just grinned and returned to pruning his darlings. Dissatisfaction bubbled beneath your expression––you tempered it by moving on to pale, flowering buds.

Your devotion to Safin was never a question, but his love affair with poison did worry you. Both of you had been victims of lethal toxins, set within your body for the express purpose of death. His reaction to it was to know poison; to know its' limits, its' capabilities, its' cures. How to weaponize it. If there was something you despised about him, it would be this, as your reaction had been the opposite of his––an intense, oppressive paranoia. You would, of course, never say anything. You still owed him your life.

Even in the humid, temperate climate of the garden, your hands and fingers remained frozen. It limited your time with Safin, and soon you were headed back towards the comforting fireplace.

The day turned quietly to night, with no artful sunset or coloring of the sky. No north star appeared, and no galaxy was visible by the time dark had overwhelmed the land, but one thing had happened; while you were back to staring out the window, Lyutsifer padded silently into the living room, and lined the fireplace's mantle with blue and white fairy lights. He wouldn't dare decorate anywhere outside your pocket of the complex, where you––his angel––spent most of your time. But by the time you turned round, he was already gone, and you were left alone to marvel at the tiny lights.

As you wandered about your home with dinner in mind, you came across a few more pieces he had set up. A wreath of pine and red sugar plums, Russian ornaments and dolls dangling from the light fixtures. The last one you found that day was hanging in the threshold of the kitchen, where you stood for a moment, leant against the frame with a stupid grin as you watched him cook.

At first, you didn't notice it there above you––Lyutsifer had time to set away his spoon and approach you till he stood closely before you.

"I saw the things you put up," you said quietly, just barely containing your adoration for his thoughtfulness.

The moment you said your last word he was leaning in, capturing you in a soft kiss that pulled you wordlessly toward him. His scarred hand reached up to your cheek, brushing over the skin, and cradling your jaw to keep you close. Your lips stretched into a smile when he regretfully parted, leaving one chaste good-bye kiss.

"What was that for?" You asked.

It was rare that he initiated touch, but when he did, it was much like this––this overwhelming, infinite yearning that poured from his heart to yours.

His eyes flickered upwards, and it was then you saw the freshly-trimmed mistletoe hanging above you, wrapped in a tight, red ribbon. You chuckled as your cheeks flushed red.

"Is that your project for it, then?"

"Don't worry. I have more planned."

By 'more' he apparently meant more of the same thing, as for the next two weeks, you found more and more mistletoe in increasingly odd places; hanging above the couch, above the dinner table, on the shower door (yes, even there), and in your bedroom. As he dipped in to kiss you for the umpteenth time in front of the fireplace, where he'd hung another bouquet of mistletoe, you finally said something.

"You know, you don't have to do all this work just so you have an excuse to kiss me. You can do it any time you'd like," you said, though your seriousness barely retained itself, erased by your rosy grin.

He kissed you again before responding.

"I haven't got any holiday traditions," he said, and you knew that. You never thought it bothered him. "This one I like more than any other."

"Well," you took his hand, raising it to your lips and pressing a tiny kiss to his palm, "indulge as much as you'd like, my love."

#safin x reader #lyutsifer safin #rami malek #rami malek character #lyutsifer safin x reader

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queridopascal · 3 years

Text

The new job (Din Djarin x F!Reader)

Part 1 of the “Ad Astra” series

Summary: as your eyes scanned the page, the words “spatial coordinates” and the phrase “writings and symbols no one has been able to decipher” made your eyes widen and your interest spike... (word count: 1.7k)

Warning: mention of food and drinks

A/N: my first ever Mando fic/series (even though we don't get to meet him in this first chapter)! Huge thanks to @hnt-escape for beta reading, and I hope you guys enjoy it ✨

Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated ❤️

NEXT | SERIES MASTERLIST

Sitting alone in your home office with a mug of coffee in your hand, you shuffled through the heap of unopened mail you found upon your return from your last expedition: advertising brochures, leaflets, bills and, at the bottom of the stack, a cream-coloured paper envelope with slightly torn edges.

Prompted by curiosity, you put down the mug and opened the letter with an old knife you kept in the first drawer: it was typewritten, dated 25th of September and signed at the bottom by a certain Elizabeth Williams.

As your eyes scanned the page, the words “spatial coordinates” and the phrase “writings and symbols no one has been able to decipher” made your eyes widen and your interest spike. Your work as an archaeologist had given you the opportunity to travel the world, discover different types of artifacts and ruins, get closer to cultures and their ancient origins; but something inside of you, a feeling in your gut, was telling you that what was described in the letter was unique and, possibly, something you had never seen before.

Without giving it a second thought, you dialed the phone number scribbled underneath the signature and waited with bated breath as you began fidgeting with a pen, clicking it open with every beeping sound coming from the other side.

“Hello?” a calm tone greeted you.

“Mrs. Williams?” you asked, clearing your throat.

“Yes, it’s me.”

“Hi, I’m-”

“I know who you are, I’ve been waiting for your call.” the woman said with a smile in her voice.

“Oh,” you gasped, “I... received your letter and I would love to hear more about this artifact you mention.”

“Great. I’ll have someone pick you up tomorrow morning at 9 sharp.”

“Thanks, Mrs Williams,” you nodded, “do I… have to bring anything?”

“Your knowledge will be sufficient, my dear.”

Once you both ended the call, you took a deep breath and closed your eyes, feeling anxious and impatient for what was about to come and reliving the exact same sensations you had experienced the day of your very first excavation.

After a sleepless night, you were awakened by the furious pitter patter of heavy rain against the windows. The dark grey of the sky made every room of your house incredibly cold and humid, and you put on your favorite cardigan as you dragged your feet into the kitchen to prepare something for breakfast.

When you finished eating, you took a quick shower and got dressed in your favorite black pencil skirt and a white blouse, a matching blazer and a pair of heels completed the look. You took a seat on the couch in your living room and waited for the driver.

At 9AM there was a knock at your front door, and you immediately grabbed your blazer and your purse and walked over to it.

“Good morning, Miss,” the driver bowed his head a little and extended his gloved hand to you while opening a black umbrella with the other. “Please, follow me. Mrs. Williams and her colleagues are waiting for you.”

You put your hand in his as he walked you over to the sedan; he opened the car door and waited for you to get in, shutting it swiftly once you got comfortable in the cream leather back seat.

After a two hours drive, the car stopped in front of a wired mesh and barbed wire fence, lined with several “Military Zone” signs. A couple of seconds later, the guarded gates opened with a screech, letting the car enter what looked like a tunnel carved inside of a mountain.

The driver pulled up in front of a large white door with soldiers on either side, where an elderly woman waited with crossed arms.

“Goodmorning my dear,” the woman stepped towards you. “I’m Elizabeth. Welcome to the Falls Hill military installation.”

She hugged you tightly and you stiffened at first, looking at the two soldiers, whose eyes were fixed on a point in front of them.

“Come, I’ll show you around.”

One of the guards stepped to the side and held the door open for you and Mrs. Williams. The large corridor that extended in front of you reminded you of a war bunker: it was grey and cold, illuminated by pale neon lights, and it had the same distinctive smell you would find in the subway.

You followed her obediently, and when she reached the end of the corridor, she slowly opened a set of double doors bearing an "Authorized Personnel Only" sign; taking a step forward, your mouth dropped open in wonder as soon as you laid eyes on what looked like a giant stone ring covered with strange inscriptions.

“I've never seen anything like this,” you gulped, keeping your eyes fixed on the object.

Mrs. Williams chuckled, pleased at your reaction. “No one has, my dear.”

“Can I…?” you asked in a trembling voice as you pointed at the artifact.

Elizabeth nodded and you walked over to it, placing your hand on the rough surface of the stone to feel the engraved characters under your fingers.

“These inscriptions,” you started, turning to her, “might be hieratic or maybe cuneiform, I think I've seen some of those symbols before.”

“Perhaps you could help us with the interpretation?” she moved to stand beside you and tilted her head to the side, looking at you expectantly.

“Yeah, of course. I'll get to work right away.”

The hours passed quickly, and between one cup of coffee and another, it was already evening. The succession of symbols and characters engraved in the stone kept repeating in your mind, a mix of infinite combinations and interpretations, from the most logical to the least plausible.

Wrinkling your eyes for tiredness, you looked up from all your papers and notes, finding a new possible interpretation of the second row that made your heart race.

“Mrs. Williams, was anything else found in the proximity of this object?”

“I was hoping you'd ask me,” she smiled and motioned you to follow her.

Elizabeth led you through a hallway and stopped in front of another door, resting both hands on the opening handle.

“You are not to speak of this to anyone, understand?”

You simply nodded, your breath catching in your throat at her request.

“Mrs. Williams, I haven't issued any new authorization papers for this lady.” a baritone voice captured your attention, and you turned around only to find a soldier in uniform staring back at you.

“Colonel Shaw, it's nice to see you again,” Elizabeth greeted him with a gentle smile, but the man looked at her with a serious and impenetrable gaze.

“Mrs. Williams, I don't think I'll have to remind you that what's inside this room is classified.” he walked over to the both of you, his expression unfazed.

“She's the new addition to my team, Colonel,” she said, looking him straight into his icy blue eyes, “a world-renowned archaeologist who is going to help us decipher the inscriptions on the stone ring.”

“Exactly. Then why are you here?” he glanced at you out of the corner of his eye.

“Because,” you cleared your throat “the second row of inscriptions refers to another object, described as the portal.”

The Colonel raised an eyebrow at you and sighed, then looked at Elizabeth.

“Permission denied.”

“Excuse me, Colonel Shaw. I was told you would have given me carte blanche, especially since the government authorized this project,” she stepped towards him with her usual calm tone.

“Not for long,” he retorted, “you have one more week Mrs. Williams, the clock is ticking. And since she doesn't have any authorization at the moment, I won't grant her access into this room.”

“Then I guess I'll have to ask Captain Gallo,” she crossed her arms. “See, he was the one who helped us get started with this project and I'm sure he would authorize this young lady in a heartbeat.”

The Colonel exhaled angrily, his jaw was clenched in frustration and you smiled to yourself.

“Fine,” he said through gritted teeth “You have my permission.”

6 days later

Staring at the portal, the inscripted characters on dark metal and stone looked so similar to something you had seen before, but also so different. You felt intimidated by that object, almost in awe, it was as if it gave off vibrations within the room, as if it wanted to give you clues to solve that riddle that had been keeping you and the rest of the team awake for days.

“Morning guys,” Elizabeth walked into the research lab with a box of donuts, “I brought something to eat.”

“Thanks,” you beamed at her as you took a glazed donut from the container. “I really needed something with sugar.”

“How is the research going?”

“Bad,” Linda, one of the members of the team, shook her head, “no matches whatsoever.”

“Is that so?” Elizabeth turned to you, her expression somber.

“Yeah,” you sighed, “even if the inscriptions look familiar to us, when comparing them to all the material we have available, we found no similarities. We’re missing something and tomorrow is the last day.”

“I’m gonna ask for a permit extension, I'm sure they'll grant it to me,” she stroked your back, comforting you.

“I found another reference!” Linda squealed with excitement “Shall we start with the comparison?”

“Absolutely,” you rushed to her side and took a seat on the corner of her desk, looking at the monitor of her computer.

The documents she had just found showed incredible similarities, and referred to an engraved metal fragment found a few months earlier in the Atacama Desert.

“These three symbols are exactly the same ones of the central row!” you exclaimed, not believing your eyes.

Linda nodded, then gulped, “They also say here that they found out some symbols represent a stylized version of constellations, and that this type of metal is not…”

“Terrestrial,” you added as you kept on reading the description under one of the pictures.

Mrs. Williams looked at the both of you with a proud smile, then she walked over to the other desk and dialed a number on the phone.

“Captain, we finally found a match for the inscriptions.”

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#ad astra series #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin fic #the mandalorian #the mandalorian fic #mando x reader #mando x you #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x reader #jose pedro balmaceda pascal

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catt-nuevenor · 3 years

Note

Hello 😍 , ros reaction to very sick and in pain mc?( you say there's angst so I want a sample if you don't mind of course 😘).

Okay, this is going to be a heavy one, though I shall try to avoid lingering on the symptoms. I'm sure most of you are here for the angst and fluff, not a crash course in Historical Epidemics.

But do take this as your warning, if you have dealt with severe illness recently, experiencing it as patient, or carer, or bystander, please do consider carefully reading through the react. I want everyone to enjoy their time on this blog, not to unnecessarily relive traumas.

I've selected Sweating Sickness as the malady in question. Mostly due to it's prevalence in rural communities, its rapid onset and culmination (you live or you succumb after typically one day of the onset of symptoms), its questioned transmissibility between humans (some modern theories think it was an exterior infection that could not be passed on through contact alone), and it's lack of grotesque symptoms.

So, context: The MC has come down with Sweating Sickness, the RO has been tasked with attending them through the night by Erda. By this stage the RO and MC are a exclusive couple. The Child is being kept away for their own safety.

I HIGHLY recommend you head over to the reacts page to read this. There you can enter your own names and pronouns for the characters.

Reacts Page

MC felt so small in their arms. Quivering like the last leaf on the bough, their hands clutched desperately over P's.

"I'm right here." They soothed, holding their bodies together, rocking them both steadily back and forth. "I'm not going anywhere."

MC whimpered. "Please... please..."

Burying the agonised expression of their face in the burning skin of MC's shoulder, P tried as best they could to suppress the sob that threatened them.

"I'm here." They repeated, their voice wavering as a convulsion made the soul in their arms jerk and writhe.

They called for them. Their voice so fragile, yet so desperate for comfort it tore into P's soul.

"I'm here. MC, my darling, I'm right here."

But their darling couldn't hear them. No matter how often they said it, no matter how they might plead, might beg to be heard through the terrible delirium that brutalised them, MC never seemed to hear a word.

When they started to weep, P could not stem the tide of their own tears.

It would be over by the morning. In either the best of ways, or the ways in which P could not bear to think of, this horror would be over by sunrise. Erda had wanted to stay with them, but with another four cases of the same terrible malady spread throughout the town, she was forced to leave them in P's care.

The bitterness of the word made them want to vomit.

Care.

What care could they provide in the face of this? Nothing they did seemed in any way to help, nothing alleviated their suffering. Their own helplessness disgusted them.

"Be with them." The old woman had said. "So long as you are there, they won't have to face the worst of it alone."

P clutched their quaking frame as close to their own body as they could. Even if MC could hear them, perhaps they could still feel that they were there.

"You're not alone." They whispered, kissing the sweat slicked skin with pale lips that shook. "I'm here darling, and I'll stay here... until the end."

L was the wrong person for this.

They just were.

No ifs, no buts.

Anybody, ANYBODY, would have been better than them.

"Be with them." The old woman had said. "So long as you are there, they won't have to face the worst of it alone."

Sure, L groaned silently, pressing their tear stained cheeks into their hands. Easy for the top Cunningwoman in the county to say.

It had been awful.

The screams still rang in their ears. MC's screams. Those terrible, torn wails that ripped their sound from them. And what had L done? They hid.

L hid behind fractured smiles and broken promises that it would all be over soon. Just a little more, just a little longer.

"Just hold on."

"You just need to get through tonight."

"It'll all be better tomorrow, just stay with me, okay?"

They muffled their cry of frustration as best they could, biting into their own palm to suffocate the emotional torment with the physical sting.

Just!?

There was no just about it. This wasn't just a sniffle, or just a bit of bad food. This could kill them.

Is that what Erda meant when she said 'the worst of it'?

L was there so MC wouldn't be alone when they died?

"L?"

The blankets shifted a little as MC shifted in their fractured sleep, curling closer into the warmth of L's stomach, weakly nuzzling at the spot just above their belly button.

MC had succumbed to the exhaustion of their body a few hours after the delirium had peaked. Collapsing into L, slumping, boneless, and limp until their heavy head came to rest upon their trembling lap.

Fresh tears scoured their cheeks as MC whimpered softly, tormented by fevered horrors L couldn't protect them from. Gentling their movements, parting their fingers, they tentatively reached down and traced their fingertips over their partner's burning cheek.

"Please..." They whispered, heart fluttering as MC turned weakly into their touch. There were so many things they wanted to ask, so many things they would readily beg for.

But MC couldn't hear them. Anything L could say felt pointless when the one person they wanted to hear, was so out of reach.

Instead, bending low to lightly touch their foreheads together, L only said a single word.

"Please."

It was always going to be bad. A knew this. They knew what Sweating Sickness did to people, they knew how it made the sufferer twist and writhe, how it turned the sensation of their own skin into the prickle of a thousand barbed needles, how it either passed or killed the victim in a day.

All of this and more he'd learnt from Erda's books, page after page of symptoms and remedies, always underlined with the brutal truth that no amount of craft could cure everyone. They should have been ready for this.

All the theoretical knowledge in the world could never have prepared them for what it was to see MC like this. Erda had offered to tend to them in their place, they could go and support the other families in town laid low.

No. As much as it shattered his, to watch them at the mercies of a pestilence without pity, A knew they had to stay with MC.

The first few hours passed as they knew they would, with confusion, pain, and a deep aching weariness which made MC's limbs lead. They settled on the bed, A's arms cradling their lover's body as the waves of crashing chills rolled over them. The discomfort could be eased, the warmth of their embrace could chase away the worst of the cold, and speaking softly, A could still whisper sweetly into MC's ear, keeping the spectres of delirium away.

There was no comfort to be given when the true onslaught began. A could only hold them, and try to keep their own desperate sobs from choking them. Nothing could have prepared them for their helplessness.

It lasted for most of the night, until MC's body collapsed in upon itself and they succumbed to a deep yet fitful sleep.

A watched the rise and fall of their chest desperately, their pulse leaping every time a breath came too slowly, or sped into breathless wheezing gasps. They counted, every time MC whimpered, every time their features contorted into terror, every time they seemed to blindly reach out for the comfort of A's waiting embrace.

For every terrible suffering, A would find a way to show MC how much they adored them, once they woke, once they were well again.

It was an utterly foolish thing to promise. Erda would have scolded them. Or perhaps she would smile in sombre understanding.

A placed their hand over MC's heart, felt the irregular beat pulsing beneath their fingertips.

"I won't let you die." They whispered. "I promise, I won't let you die."

K could understand their protests. They knew nothing of sickness. Had the affliction been one that could be nursed, they may have stepped aside to let Erda or A attend MC. It was not. So, K stayed with their efenhlytta.

It was strange at first. As they watched MC's sanity began to slip. The odd word as they spoke, an erratic flick of their gaze to the empty air beside them. Then their words faltered, sticking to their tongue thickly as MC's hands began to tremble.

"Sorry." Their efenhlytta gasped when K moved to embrace them. "It's... I can feel..."

With sharp jerks they stabbed their fingers into the already sweating skin, moving rapidly in attempt to explain the sensation.

K had no context for the irritation, but they knew pain. Every living creature knew pain.

MC's skin began to swelter, the heat rising up from a ravenous flame that seemed devoted to their destruction. Perhaps in this one regard K could help where all others could not.

On a slow outward breath they let the warmth of their own blood ease away, letting the cool tide return in it's wake. The unnatural chill took the bite from the fever, and though MC still lashed out, driven to fight the demons of the fever, they were not made to suffer their terrible fire.

"I forbid you to die." K said, while their efenhlytta thrashed once again in their supple embrace.

It was clear MC couldn't hear them, but K wasn't really talking to the part of them that could listen. What they addressed was deeper, behind the consciousness that fronted MC's being.

"Do you hear me?" They hissed, fixing their ice blue eyes on a single point in seemingly empty air.

"I forbid you to die."

Extra material:

Just in case folks were interested in historical context, below I’ve linked my source material for a contempary description of the sickness.

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/42686/42686-h/42686-h.htm

pg.241 C.Creighton 1891 "A History of Epidemics in Britain"

Dr Forrestier 1485

"...This sickness cometh with a grete swetyng and stynkyng, with rednesse of the face and of all the body, and a contynual thurst, with a grete hete and hedache because of the fumes and venoms.....pricking the brains,... some appear red and yellow, as we have seen many, and in two grete ladies that we saw, the which were sick in all their bodies and they felt grete pricking in their bodies. And some had black spots, as it appeared in our frere (?) Alban, a noble leech on whose soul God have mercy!”

Modern English Translation:

"This sickness comes with a great sweating and stinking, with redness of the face and of all the body, and a continual thirst, with a great heat and headache because due to the fumes and venoms... with a prickling sensation seeming to come from inside the skull... some appear red and yellow in pallor, we witnessed such in two noble ladies, both of whom were severely sick and who also felt great pricking in their bodies. Some of the infected had black spots across their skin, as it appeared in our fair Alban, a noble leech on whose soul God have mercy!"

#MyrkMire #reacts #interactive fiction #hosted games #choice of games

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pokemonswshfics · 3 years

Note

Hey, I don't know if you ever got this ask as my internet was bad but could I request some fluff of Leon comforting his partner after a nightmare? Like he just cuddles and comforts them. One shot or headcanons are fine with me. ^^

hello, angel! im sorry i didn't get the request, thank you so much for re-requesting, i would hate for a request to not go through 🥺 either way, i hope you enjoy + have a good read everyone! 💕

Leon × Reader || Comfort Oneshot

fic under the cut! ^-^

Your eyes opened abruptly as you sat up, you could feel yourself in a cold sweat. Your breathing was heavy and rapid, you could feel tears poke at the corners of your eyes.

"What was that..?", You whispered to yourself while gripping the blanket to your chest. The digital clock on your nightstand showed a bright '3:46 A:M'. Your lip quivered as you tried to catch your breath.

The nightmare was still fresh in your mind, the memories and overall fear you felt overtaking your senses. It made you frantic internally, your body quickly reacting to the panic. You let go of the blanket and attempted to hold in the sobs in your throat by covering your mouth.

"Love?"

The familiar and rather drowsy groan made you stop and hesitate to turn. You hadn't even remembered your boyfriend, Leon, was asleep next to you.

"A-Ah.. Lee. Hi, uh-", You stammered as he stirred and woke up. His hair was tousled as he removed the blanket from his face, showing his now wide open eyes. You turned and stared directly into them, with tears in your own. The sight woke him up immediately, and he sat up.

"Are you okay? What happened? It's the middle of the night..", Leon's hand was now on your cheek, cupping it gently. You still struggled to control your breathing and you looked away from his concerned expression to try and blink away the tears in your eyes.

"It's just a nightmare- it was n-nothing.", You said quietly while a tear finally fell down your cheek. Leon's face softened while his thumb went to wipe the tear away. You sniffled and looked down to the sheets instead, beginning to speak in quick and panicked manner. "It was a nightmare. I felt like I couldn't.. breathe? I don't even know-"

"Shhh..", Leon whispered with a sad smile. "You don't have to relive it okay? You're fine, you're safe. No need to talk about it if you don't want to."

"It was just too much, I-I'm really sorry for waking you.", You whimpered and lifted your hand to his to try and pry him off, only for him to raise his other hand to your other cheek.

"Don't apologize, love. You were scared.", He said softly and brought his face forward, closer to your own. Your foreheads were now pressed together, eyes staring directly into each other. Leon's hazel eyes were detailed and mesmerizing, it seemed as if you stared too long, you could get lost in them.

And right then, that's all you really wanted. Tears fell down your cheeks and landed on Leon's thumbs. He wiped each away slowly on your skin.

"I don't mind being woken up by you, for any reason." Leon planted a small and gentle kiss on your lips which you could barely return because of the shakiness. "You're my top priority, even if waking me up was an accident, I'm glad you did it.", The smile on his face was comforting, and it only made his words seem even more genuine. He pecked your lips once more before moving his hands down to your arms while your tears slowed down, but were still present.

"You can go back to sleep-", You spoke, only to be cut off with Leon's finger to your lips. You looked up into his eyes while he adjusted you both, pulling your legs into his lap and laying back onto the headboard. His arm was now behind you with his fingertips reaching up to your head, the other on your hip opposite of him to hold you closer.

"My love, you don't need to make excuses for me, I want to- I need to make sure you're okay. I won't sleep well unless you do. So let me be here for you.", Leon said quietly, making eye contact with you.

You simply took Leon in after he finished speaking, the light coming in through the window made his features perfectly visible. The straight jawline you would kiss playfully, the purple hair you loved to play with whenever you could. At times you wondered how a man could look so defined and so gentle at the same time. So comforting. The safety you felt with Leon was something no one else could even come close to.

"Cry it out, 'kay?", He kissed your forehead, his lips lingering on your skin for a moment and began to lower one hand and rub your back. "I'm right here, nothing will happen to you while I'm next to you."

You could feel his smile against your skin while tears formed in the corners of your eyes once again. The memory of the nightmare was fading, but you could still envision certain parts- the worst ones. You placed a hand on Leon's chest and rested the side of your head against it, exhaling deeply. Silent tears fell down your cheeks while you listened to his heartbeat, your trembling lips also slowing down at this point.

"Fall asleep like this if you want, okay? Having you in my arms and knowing you're okay is helping me just as much as it's helping you.", Leon said, the smile in his voice audible. You felt him press his lips to the side of your head while the last few tears fell down your skin.

"Are you sure? Are you comfortable?", You whispered, tugging a little on the fabric of his shirt between your fingers.

"I'm sure, love. Don't worry your pretty little head about me right now."

You managed to form a small smile at his words and his hold, the toned arms around you feeling like the epitome of safety.

"Thank you for waking up.", You spoke into his chest, wiping the tear stains on your cheeks. "I.. I appreciate this."

Leon smirked and rested his head back onto the headboard of the bed. "Thanking me isn't necessary. I love you, babe. Comforting someone as special as you.. I hope this comes across right, it's.. It feels nice. Good? Um- Correct."

A small giggle escaped your lips while he fumbled over his words in a confused state. This made Leon breathlessly chuckled as he continued to speak, knowingly lulling you to sleep with his soft voice. You tried pushing away the drowsiness with a jolt in your body, fearing you would dream even worse.

Leon looked down at your small jolt and softened yet again, cutting himself off in the middle of his speaking.

"Sleep peacefully, love. Nothing will hurt you or even come close to you while I'm here. And I'll always be here.", He grinned in a way that made you melt in his arms. He whispered again, "Now sleep. I love you so so sooo much.."

Leon continued to whisper sweet nothings in your ear, occasionally making you giggle drowsily. With one final look at the digital clock that now showed it was 4 am, you felt your eyes getting heavy.

And this time, you didn't fight the tiredness. You had no reason to be scared of attempting to sleep again. In mere minutes, you had managed to go from terrified to comforted, with a sense of security. You shut your eyes softly at the now calming space around you. That space being Leon, of course. You were in Leon's arms, away and safe from everything you feared with him.

***

thank you for reading! have a good day/night, hope you enjoyed! 💕 - 🥝

#pokemon #leon swsh #champion leon #leon x reader #pokemon leon #leon pokemon #leon #pokemon fanfiction #pokemon oneshot

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robin-the-enby · 2 years

Text

Match up

Hello! Can I have a male marvel and Detroit match up please? Im 5'2 dark blonde wvy hair blue/gray eyes bit chubby just stomach green hoodie tight jeans white run shoes. I love to draw, paint, watch anime, creative write and listen to music. I have social anxiety nd depression i hve a hard time expressing myself nd i still try to hide how i really feel I lve to be there for others I love to laugh nd smile even throw around some jokes Im quiet but do like to make people laugh I express myself better on paper and in my drawings. I have a hard time making friends. I always put a strong smile on my face until i burn out. I am very hard on myself but I try to encourage others even though I’m not good at socializing, I’ve been told that I have a big heart, very caring and funny. I am very empathetic. I can be distant and shy. I’m is known for being quiet. I tend to scare people by accident. Even my movements can be very quiet. I don’t stand out I seem to blend in and people won’t even notice me. Im better at explaining how i feel through actions than words. I dont mind PDA, i would love to hold my partners hand. I am a softy i couldnt hurt a fly unless someone really pissed me off, i dont get angered easily. INFP, Cancer Sun sign.

Thanks!

No worries fellow cancer sign! I match you with:

Steve Rogers

I believe you're just Steve's type tbh.

He loves your creativity! He himself used to draw a bit, back in the 40's, but now he doesn't really have time for it anymore, though he'd still love to relive some of those times with you!

He'd be your no.1 fan when it comes to writing. You wrote a story? He's gonna want to read it. You wrote a poem? He's amazed and will sit down with you and ask a million questions about all the verses.

But I feel like anime might not be his thing. He doesn't hate it, but he can't get it through his head why it's animated. He can appreciate all the good qualities of it, the story, the voice acting, but why is it animated though?? But show him one live action and he'll understand why.

Steve is really understanding when it comes to topics like mental issues. He won't stand for you hiding away though. He'll gently encourage you to express yourself through your works, if you can do that. And if you do, you're going to be showered in praise <3

He loooooooves that you want to make people laugh. He thinks it's one of your best qualities. It's really selfless when you yourself are feeling under the weather, but still try to make others feel good.

He definitely is one of the people who gets scared by your quietness. I can vividly imagine him just doing something in the kitchen and suddenly you hug him from behind and he nearly attacks you, because he didn't hear you come in XD

Steve just loves everything about you <3

Ralph

Ralph feels about you the same way Steve does in many cases.

Whenever you visit him, he feels a strange sense of peace, so he grew to like you a lot.

He loves watching you draw and write, he is amazed by the sheer concept of creativity.

This one would love anime. It's easy on the eyes and easy to understand. He would probably like the simpler ones, not heavy themed ones, like The disastrous life of Saiki K. ;)

He doesn't know much about depression and because of his injuries, he can't research them. But he hates seeing you sad. It just feels wrong. So he tries anything and everything to make you not sad :)

No really, if you need anything, just tell him and he'll try to arrange it for you.

He loves when you try to make him laugh. Often times you succeed! He is quite bubbly and just loves you so much that even the corniest jokes seem funny to him when they come from you.

Please don't sneak up on him intentionally. He's been hurt in the past and is now very wary of people, you being so damn quiet does not help his case.

I think he wouldn't be into PDA, but only into DA if you understand what I'm trying to say. He doesn't go out much, but he loves being connected with you on a physical level. So holding hands or cuddling in his hideout is the best for him!

#matchups #marvel #mcu #marvel matchups #steve rogers #captain america #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #captain america x reader #captain america x you #detroit become human #dbh #dbh matchups #dbh ralph #dbh ralph x reader #dbh ralph x you

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flutteringdreams-matw · 3 years

Text

Out of Time (8)

First/Last

Read on AO3

Word Count: 4108

Previously: "Dan Phantom grew up to be one of the worst ghosts in the history of the Ghost Zone; he destroyed the world, and the ghost zone, multiple times over. In meeting you, he inadvertently created the one ghost powerful enough to stop him. He would have continued to raze the world if I hadn't saved your family, leaving no one left to stop him." Clockwork's smile fell, and dread started to pool in Danny's stomach again. "This paradox is the best shot of defeating him once and for all."

Danny nodded, feeling the crushing weight of his powers and responsibility. "Three outcomes?" he asked, bringing it back to Clockwork's original conversation.

"Three outcomes," Clockwork confirmed, frowning.

"One favourable," Danny finished, closing his eyes. Silence descended on the pair for a few minutes, Clockwork watching Danny's body stiffen as he slowly realized what that meant. "Clockwork," he said eventually in a small voice, looking up at the Time Master. "I'm not… I don't… survive this…. do I?"

Now: Danny meets with Valerie, Dani and Vlad.

Link to the next chapter will be in the replies once posted. As always - please let me know what you think!

---

"Okay, spill," Tucker said, glancing at Sam from the corner of his eye as he worked at the console. The girl in question looked at Tucker with wide eyes. "You've been mopey and distant ever since you came down here. Something must have happened." Sam sent him a weak glare of annoyance. Tucker chuckled quietly as he continued to type in code at the computer. He paused, looking at the screen in thought as he pulled up the shield schematics.

"Any luck?" Sam asked, breaking her silence.

Tucker sighed. "Kind of – I think we have the energy to create a shield of this size, but separating Danny's ecto-signature from his jerky self is difficult. I thought if we just used the sig from the booo-merang, it would be enough, but using that will either keep Danny out of the town or allow Dan to manipulate his way into it." He put his hands under his glasses and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I mean, it would help if we could get Plasmius' ecto-signature and try and figure out ratios, but something tells me that's an even worse idea at the moment. The only good thing about all this is we know that they have different ecto-signatures. We still have no idea why or how… but the fact they do means we can figure this out." Tucker swivelled his chair to face his best friend beside him. "Now, what's eating you? I could use the break and your presence is dampening my mood."

Sam sent the boy another glare, but sighed as she realized he wasn't going to let this go. "I was upstairs looking at some photos, ran into Danny…" she said, blushing slightly at the memory.

Tucker sat straighter in seat, eyes gleaming with excitement as Sam shifted uncomfortably. "Wait – you told him!?" Tucker exclaimed, gathering a few strange looks from the ghosts in the basement.

"No!" Sam yelped back, her face completely pink from embarrassment. "And would you keep it down?!"

Tucker held up his hands as an apology and gestured for her to continue. "So what happened?"

Sam sighed. "We were talking, next thing I knew he was bringing up Nocturn and…" she trailed off, suddenly crestfallen. "I stopped him before he said anything he was going to regret."

Tucker blinked, mouth opening and closing from the cluelessness of both of his friends. "Let me get this straight… Danny, our Danny, the most clueless idiot on the planet when it comes to his own feelings, was about to tell you how he felt about you and you stopped him?!"

"Of course I did!" she shot back. "He has no idea what he's feeling right now with all of that time energy and the visions going through his head. Didn't you hear what Mrs. Fenton said? He's reliving parts of a timeline where we all died, Tucker. I don't want –"

"To get your hopes up," Tucker finished, pointing a finger at the girl. "Sam, all three of us know how you and Danny feel about each other. I've known longer than probably both of you even realized it. You've been doing this dance for almost two years. If he's finally coming to his senses, regardless of whatever is happening, I think you should be jumping for joy. Or whatever Goths do when they're happy."

Sam sat silent for second before sighing. "I asked him why now," she admitted quietly. "He said he wasn't afraid anymore." Tucker made some excited gestures in victory as she continued. "If Clockwork hadn't interrupted, I'm fairly certain he would have said something."

Tucker watched as Sam looked down, lost in thought. "Sam," he said kindly. "Do you want things to change?" Violet eyes met teal ones as Tucker pressed on. "Danny just told you he's not afraid anymore… so what are you afraid of?"

"Of him not coming back," she said softly, looking away. Tucker's eyes widened as the words tumbled out of her mouth. "He's choosing this moment, the one where he's about to face off a big enemy, to tell me. Why would he do that if he didn't think he'd make it?"

Tucker sighed, annoyed. "You idiot." Sam's head whirled back to her best friend at the insult. Tucker's face was serious, but his eyes sparkled with amusement. "The both of you. Sam – he knows what's at stake. Danny's not trying telling you to fulfill some stupid self-sacrifice ritual. He's trying to tell you to make sure he comes back. Sure he has a bazillion reasons but there's only one person that gives him the hope to fight through anything. He wants someone to fight for."

Sam stared at Tucker as his words sunk in. Tucker sighed as he turned his chair back to the screen in front of him. "Besides, if anything goes down, we're going out there to save his ass. The both of us - not just you lovebird. He's my best friend, I'm not going to let him lose to some jerkface. So stop being a Negative Nancy, go upstairs and tell our clueless Ghost Boy you like him."

Sam smiled, feeling more confident than she felt in a long time. "Thanks," she said quietly. Tucker smiled, not looking away from the screen and waved her off. She stood up, walked a few steps towards the staircase before stopping. She turned back to Tucker with an eyebrow raised. "Did you just say 'Negative Nancy?' What are you… 80?"

Tucker grimaced. "Shut up," he said, embarrassed. "I said what I said."

Sam chuckled a bit, turning, and came face to face with Clockwork. "Whoa!" she said, taking a few steps back. Tucker looked up at the pair, turning to face the mysterious time ghost with a small frown. "Clockwork! Is Danny still upstairs?"

Clockwork's red eyes looked over the human carefully, his face emotionless as ever as he floated toward the ground. "No," he said simply. Suddenly, he sighed. "I'm being summoned," he said, a hint of disdain and promptly vanished.

Sam and Tucker looked at each other in confusion as the world continued around them.

:-=-:

Green light illuminated Danny's face as he flew through Amity Park. He sighed, looking down toward the town; it had taken a lot for his parents to convince Vlad that the town was in danger and had agreed to up security. Now to add some more he thought as he continued to fly into the outskirts of Amity and into Elmerton, just under the shield.

There are only three possible outcomes here – only one of them is favourable.

Danny frowned as Clockwork's words came across his mind once again. It wasn't like he expected anything different; he knew that this battle would be difficult. He was literally his own worst enemy – powers, strategies everything. Well, almost everything. He shivered slightly as he remembered the coldness of Dan's voice threatening him. If there were three outcomes there had to be one of Dan winning. The jerk could take him out; in fact, he almost did a couple times already. There was also a possibility of him defeating Dan – though with the shield around the town and time energy attacking his core, that was looking pretty slim. Resignation filled the teen as he mulled over the last possible option before he shook his head; right now he had to focus.

Green eyes scanned the apartments below as he attempted to find the right building. Valerie's apartment should be around here somewhere. Danny landed onto the roof of the nearest building, crossing his arms in thought as he tried to remember her address. Without warning, blue sparks of energy coursed through him. Surprised, Danny let out a sharp groan of pain as he fell onto his knees, curling into himself. "Really?" he asked, annoyed as more time energy moved through his body.

The last time he had seen Valerie was the funeral. Why did she get to be so free? Why was it his burden? The hunter would pay; If his family was gone, maybe hers should follow.

Danny gasped as the vision left him, feeling ill as he tried to let the vision pass. He breathed hard, putting one hand out to steady himself as he felt more electricity come to the surface. "Not now," he said, pushing back against it. His core responded, flaring slightly as the energy started to dissipate. A few minutes later and Danny was left panting on the rooftop. "Still… not loving this," he grunted, finally regaining his bearings.

A whine of an ecto-gun from his right made him stiffen on instinct before he sighed heavily. His body relaxed slightly, feeling slightly more in control as he still knelt on the rooftop. "Hello Valerie," he said softly, not looking in her direction.

"Phantom," Valerie replied curtly, as she stopped the charging weapon. She floated in full ghost hunting gear, the red and black sled bobbing up and down in the wind. She put the gun in her holster, flying down to the rooftop and retracted her sled. The ghost in front of her still held his position on the ground, making her frown in confusion. "We've been looking for you."

Danny's head whipped up, looking at her through tired, confused eyes. "We?" he asked.

Valerie crossed her arms and cocked her hip. "Yo kid!" she yelled. "I found him!"

A grey and black blur flew upward toward them, landing next to Valerie gracefully. "Danny!" Danielle yelled, running over to her cousin quickly. "You're okay!" She threw her arms around the stunned boy in a large hug.

"Dani!" Danny exclaimed, standing slowly as the girl released him from the hug. Danny frowned worriedly as he looked between Danielle and Valerie. "What are you doing here? Are you okay?"

Valerie rolled her eyes, annoyed. "She's fine, I didn't hurt her," Valerie told him evenly. Dani frowned as she looked between the hunter and her cousin. "She got stuck here when you put up this stupid shield. She's staying at my place to avoid Plasmius."

Danny's eyes widened slightly, still frowning as he looked Danielle over. "How long have you been here?"

Danielle shrugged. "Almost a week," she said nonchalantly. Before Danny could protest, she pressed on. "Are you okay? We saw your fight on the T.V. yesterday. Who was that ghost? Why did you put the shield up? Who were the ghosts that helped you?"

Danny sighed tiredly, crossing his arms. He looked over at Valerie, who was surprisingly content to observe them. "I've been better," he told them cryptically. Valerie shifted and Danny saw her eyes move up and down, assessing him for any lies he may tell. "Had another run in with him last night too." Danny put a hand on Danielle's shoulder. "I'm glad you're here – honestly we could use the extra fire power." The younger girl beamed at him.

"Who's attacking the town?" Valerie asked bluntly, causing both ghosts to turn back to her.

Danny's face darkened. "A really long story," he replied. He caught Valerie's eye as the two teens stared at each other. Danny broke their gaze first, staring up at the shield. "He'll attack again tomorrow and I don't think this shield will last much longer."

Both Valerie and Danielle looked at him worriedly. "Danny, what are you talking about?" Danielle asked, confused. "The shield's been up for days! There's no way it'll break that easy."

Danny ignored her, looking directly at Valerie. "I need your help," he admitted. Valerie looked at him questioningly. "This ghost is something you have never faced before and will not hesitate to take out the town. If my shield goes, for whatever reason, I need you to protect it."

"I always protect the town," Valerie replied with a huff, looking away. Danielle looked at her quizzically, remaining silent as she looked between Danny and her new friend.

Danny sighed. "Valerie," he started, getting her attention again. "Regardless of what you think I am, Dan is much, much worse."

Valerie laughed. "Dan?" she asked. "Really? There are more of you named Danny Phantom?"

"Hey!" Danielle exclaimed indignantly. "I didn't ask for this name! Besides, I like it!"

Danny brought a gloved hand to his face and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying not to lose his temper. "We don't have time for this," he told her urgently. His hand hands flew outward, moving quickly as he tried to press on. "If my shield goes down tomorrow, take whatever weapons you have, and defend Amity Park. You need to destroy him; take him down with whatever means necessary."

Danielle gasped as Valerie looked at him with wide eyes. Phantom never destroyed a ghost in a fight – Valerie had been stopped by him multiple times for trying to do just that. The fact that he was here, almost begging her to do just that was a testament of how desperate he must be. They were silent for a long time, Danny's words weighing heavily. The ghost boy looked away from the two teens in front of him, while all three tried to figure out what to say next. It was Valerie who broke the silence.

"Where will you be?"

Danny laughed darkly at the question. "It doesn't really matter where I'll be," he said bitterly. "If that shield goes down, it means I failed."

Both girls gasped at his tone. "Danny, no!" Danielle cried, grabbing him around the middle. Danny looked at her, surprised. "Let me go with you!"

Danny smiled gently at his cousin and knelt beside her. "It'll be okay," he said reassuringly, hugging her back. "I need you here – Amity Park needs one Phantom that can kick ghost butt." He heard her laugh into his shoulder. Pulling away, he put his hands on her shoulders. "The Fentons are working on a shield to keep Dan out; you should be safe because they have your exact ecto-signature from the last time you were here. If my shield goes down, their shield will go up. I'm not alone in this." He looked at Valerie once more before looking to his young counterpart. "Stick with Valerie. She'll protect you."

Danny stood again, patting Danielle on the shoulder affectionately. Green met green as Danny locked eyes with Valerie once again, the latter finally realizing the gravity of the situation. "Hey Dani," she called. "Can you give us a minute?" Danielle glanced at both older teens apprehensively, Danny giving her a small nod of approval before she agreed.

Valerie waited until she felt Dani was far enough away before she addressed the boy in front of her. "You were right," she said directly. Danny's eyebrows rose in confusion. "About Vlad – I went back after I released you that night… he really is Plasmius huh?"

Danny observed Valerie carefully before letting out a long breath. He didn't look her in the eye. "Does he know?"

Valerie shook her head. "If he does, he hasn't come after me," she told him. Danny's shoulders relaxed slightly but said nothing. "You've worked with Plasmius before, haven't you?" Danny nodded. "Are you going to him next?"

Danny's arm found the back of his neck awkwardly. "Unfortunately," he said. "Vlad might be an insane mastermind, but he is mayor of the town and powerful to boot. The Fentons have already reached out to create a security plan – I'm headed there to ask him to defend the town too. I doubt he would give up a chance to be the 'Saviour of Amity Park.'"

Valerie took off her helmet, her long hair dropping to her waist as she regarded the ghost in front of her. Neither teen spoke for a few moments, just staring at each other from across the rooftop. "I've seen that look in your eye before," she said softly. Danny looked at her, confused. "During the Ghost King attack - you took my mask off in front of my Dad. Back then, I thought you wanted me out of the way to trick the town. I went looking for you afterwards, to kick your ghost butt back to the Ghost Zone… but you were gone for almost a week afterwards." The two teens locked eyes again. "You're going to face this…Dan, aren't you? Just like the Ghost King." Valerie shifted her tone into an accusation. "You're not here for another team up, you're here in case that ghost wastes you."

They stood in silence for a few minutes after that, before Danny wordlessly nodded. The dark skinned girl was taken aback by his honesty, how much older and tired he looked in that moment. He was injured, almost begging for her help. Snow white hair moved softly in the wind, making his green eyes spark with determination through whatever he must be going through. He was the reason she became a ghost hunter and vowed to destroy... willing to risk his afterlife for a town of humans. She didn't understand –couldn't understand - but regarded him with determined eyes anyway.

"Okay Phantom," she assured. "I'll protect Amity Park and Dani from anyone who wants to hurt them. If that shield goes down, I'll go after this Dan with whatever I got."

Danny's entire body relaxed as if a weight was lifted off his shoulders. Valerie observed him carefully as he masked any uncertainty he must feel in her presence. "Be ready," he told her before teleporting away.

Valerie stood tall as she scanned the shield around the town. The mantle was passed – all she had to do was wait. It wasn't until Danielle came back to the rooftop and asked her what's wrong that she realised she was crying.

:-=-:

Clockwork sighed heavily as he watched many Observants fly off in different directions. He moved slowly, hovering feebly as he made his way inside of the Observant Tribunal Headquarters. As he entered, many more Observants flew about, often yelling about the 'end of the world.'

"Clockwork! There you are!"

The Time Master sighed again as an Observant came into view. The large eyeball seemed to be more accentuated by the deep black collar of his robe. Clockwork kept his staff on the ground, holding himself in place as the Observant came toward him.

"Is there any news?" the Observant asked desperately.

"As I have told you the previous seven times you've summoned me here – no," Clockwork replied firmly. "There has been no change to the time stream, nor the events that are to come."

"Are you sure Clockwork?"

Clockwork scoffed irritably. "If I could see past a paradox, believe me, I would have told you by now." He gestured to his appearance. "Or at least make myself younger – these trips are becoming tiresome."

The Obersvant's eye narrowed. "Your powers are fading – just like ours." When Clockwork didn't respond, the Observant continued. "So this is truly the end of time? The boy will lose and Dan Phantom will rule the world once more?"

Red eyes rolled in exasperation. "How are you so sure he'll lose?" Clockwork asked, ignoring the question. "He's beaten him before."

"Because of your interference!" the Observant snapped. "Even you can't stop a paradox Clockwork! Once these two face off, your powers will be locked until it is all over."

Clockwork turned his back toward the Observant. "I know my role during a paradox," Clockwork said dangerously. "The next twenty four hours will determine the pathways to the future. Will the Observants face the future head on or run away like the cowards they are?" Clockwork looked up at the Observants flying frantically in every direction. "How many times have you all asked me to intervene to save the timeline? How many times I've refused? You have no right to lecture me when I only interfered because the Observants asked." Clockwork pressed a button on his staff, engulfing him in a blue light. "I will be there when Time recovers, as I have been for centuries – regardless of what happens in this paradox."

The Observant scoffed at Clockwork's tone. "Your fondness of the boy has clouded your judgement," he accused.

Clockwork's red eyes narrowed as he looked back toward the Observant. "My fondness has done nothing," he replied coldly. "Danny Phantom will face his future self once more and once it is all over, I will return to my duty as the Master of Time, regardless of the outcome. You, however, will continue to be blinded by your fear and hatred." Clockwork looked up at the frantic ghosts one last time in disdain before he disappeared.

:-=-:

Dan's eyes were closed as he felt more shadows appear in front of Amity Park. His army was growing, made more powerful by his undeniable rage he felt for his younger self. How has the boy scraped by so easily, Dan thought angrily, eyes opening as he flew upward. He could see the shadows at the shield, ready to attack once he gave the signal.

The boy still had twelve hours left before they attacked. He observed the shield calculatingly, trying to find a weak point to destroy any pitiful resistance that the humans of Amity Park would attempt.

Danny will rue the day he locked me in that infernal thermos.

:-=-:

As he touched down in the Mayor's office, Danny grabbed hold of the closest solid object he could find and doubled over, gasping. His vision swam slightly, vaguely seeing a mass of ghosts attacking the shield as he tried to desperately focus on the task at hand. He felt the sparks of electricity run through his body again, grimacing at the now common event.

"It's about time, Daniel," the annoyed voice of Vlad Masters brought him into focus. Vlad turned at his desk, glaring at the young ghost. "Now, care to tell me what the hell is going on?" Danny said nothing, not quite catching his breath. He fell onto his knees, transforming back into Danny Fenton in the process. Vlad's face shifted from annoyed to concerned quickly, standing up slowly as he regarded the boy in front of him. Danny blinked rapidly, shaking his head as if he was trying to focus, panting from exertion. Vlad could sense the exhaustion the boy felt from where he stood, and sighed heavily. The man walked over to the wall and turning his hand intangible, he stuck it through, pressing a button. In an instant, the wall parted, revealing a steel blue safe. Vlad opened it and pulled out a small black pouch with Phantom's logo on it.

Finally making his way over to the teen, Vlad knelt in front of Danny. "Here," he said gently, helping the boy into the armchair that he was currently gripping for dear life. Once seated, Danny deflated slightly, finally starting to calm down.

"Vlad?" Danny asked, confused.

Vlad frowned as he watched Danny closely; the young half-ghost's breathing finally became normal, but was still quite weary. "Daniel," Vlad said softly. "You've had the shield up for four days now. It's exhausting your core; if you keep this up –"

"I know," Danny said, cutting him off. "But I need to keep them out."

Vlad's frown deepened at the boy's insistence. "What's going on?" Vlad pressed again.

Danny sighed heavily. "Apart from an evil version of me from the future trying to kill everyone I care about and the end of time?"

Vlad blinked, nonplussed, before regaining his thoughts. "You mean to tell me that the evil ghost that's been causing havoc both here and the ghost zone is you? Goody two-shoes Danny Phantom?" he asked incredulously.

"It's a long story," Danny replied ominously, looking away. "A lot had happened."

"Really? Did someone steal your thermos?" Vlad asked sarcastically.

Danny's head whipped forward and glared at the man in annoyance. "More like an explosion killed my friends and family, got sent to live with my cheesehead arch-enemy, asked you to rip out my ghost half who went crazy and merged with your ghost half and destroyed the world," he told the older man darkly.

Vlad blinked as the boy's words sank in, leaving a small silence in its wake. "And you know this how exactly?"

"Clockwork."

"The Master of Time?" Vlad asked incredulously. "You do get around, don't you."

Danny ignored him. "I stopped him once," he continued. "In an alternate timeline. But he exists out of the time stream-"

"Creating a paradox?" Vlad surmised. Danny nodded. "How far in the future are we talking here?"

"10 years."

"Meaning he also had my powers for 30 years," Vlad mused. He looked at his rival young again, noting how rigid the boy was in front of him. "How did you beat him last time?"

Danny looked away slightly, avoiding the question. "Vlad…" the younger half ghost gripped the arms of the chair harshly. "If the shield goes down… I need you to protect the town."

"Daniel?" Vlad was worried at the sudden shift in tone. Steely blue eyes watched as Danny shifted tiredly, grimacing at some unseen force wracked his small frame.

"Promise me," Danny said, looking at the older hybrid desperately. "He'll go after my parents, Jazz, Sam, Tucker. If I'm not strong enough-"

"Not strong enough? Daniel what on earth-" Vlad stopped, wide eyed as he realized what this was. "Daniel, no - I don't care what infernal complex you may have, but facing that ghost the way you are now? That's suicide."

"It's the only way," Danny said softly, shaking his head. Vlad scoffed at his tone. "Vlad, he basically has my ecto-signature. There can't be two of us in one time stream. The only way time can move forward again is if I face him."

"Alone?" Vlad sneered. "Contrary to what you believe little badger, the world does not rest on your shoulders."

"Vlad," Danny started, letting out a large breath. "He has an army – look at me. You and I both know I have no chance alone. Mom and Dad have a plan, so all I need to figure out is to get past to face him - just to make the time lines restart. When that happens, hopefully we'll figure out how to destroy him once and for all."

Vlad raised an eyebrow, questioningly. "We? Are you asking for my help?"

"Dammit Plasmius!" Danny exclaimed, stunning the billionaire at the outburst. Vlad took a few steps back at the sudden volume. "You think I want this? You think I like knowing there's an evil version of me waiting to destroy my friends and family and me? You think I wanted to come here today to beg you to save my family?" Danny's eyes lit up green in frustration. "Fine! I'm begging you, please: When my shield falls; protect my family and friends okay? Happy?! Do what you can to destroy him. You hear me? Whatever it takes."

They sat in stunned silence for a few moments, Danny's chest heaving from his outburst as he started to calm down.

Vlad recovered first, swallowing slightly.

"You said when," he said quietly. Danny looked away from the man. "Danny, you said when your shield falls. Not if." Danny stayed quiet, confirming Vlad's suspicions. The white haired man sighed, resigned to the boy's decision. "You have my word."

Danny deflated, nodding in acceptance. A heavy silence enveloped the room, neither half-ghost speaking. Vlad moved tentatively toward Danny, kneeling next to the boy once more. "Here," Vlad told him. He offered the small pouch he took from the safe to the teen. "I had these created after our run in with the Ghost King."

"What are they?"

"I call them Ecto-Enhancers," Vlad explained. "Think of them like an energy drink." He unzipped them and showed the teen three syringes, all glowing neon green. "They'll give your powers a bit of an extra boost when you're exhausted or hurt. It'll give your body a chance to recover if you're using a lot of energy. Only use them for extreme circumstances; use one every few hours." Danny nodded, taking the pouch. Vlad stood up, turning his back to the teen. Silence descended on the pair once more for a few minutes before Vlad broke it. "Daniel…" he started, before sighing, shaking his head. "Are you sure about this? Facing him?"

"Not like I have a choice," Danny mumbled. Vlad heard the teen grunt behind him. He turned to see to boy standing. "I should get going. Thanks for the Ecto-Enhancers."

"Danny wait," Vlad said, stopping the younger halfa in his tracks. They stared at each other for a second, neither speaking. There was so much Vlad wanted to say to the boy; they were so similar and yet so different. Eventually, Vlad broke the silence with a sigh. "Be careful."

A look of confusion washed across Danny's face briefly before it changed into a sad, guarded mask. Vlad saw it now; Danny's reserved acceptance of his fate, the understanding that he'll probably never make it out of whatever disaster awaits him. A small nod was all Vlad got as Danny transformed and flew out of the office.

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