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#hope this lived up to the wait and thanks for putting up with me
marie-swriting · 2 days
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For The Very First Time - Emily Prentiss
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Summary : Emily always thought she'd end up with a man, however it's a woman that makes her heart beat faster.
Warnings : set during season 16 (spoiler free), alcohol consumption (be careful with your alcohol consumption!), questioning sexuality, happy ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warning.
Word count : 3.1k
French version (will be published today at 6pm)
Song inspiration : 10x better by Marielle Kraft
Emily Prentiss is nose deep in her Sicarius files. She re-reads every piece of information, searching for a detail she and her team might have missed, in vain. She runs a hand through her grey hair, sighing; she looks once again at the first page when you interrupt her reading.
“Excuse-me, I’ve waited until the last minute but I’m closing now and I’m going to ask you to leave, please.”
“Oh my God, sorry !” Emily apologises while glancing at her watch. “I didn’t see the time. You could have told me earlier, I would have understood.”
“Don’t worry, I had to clean everything behind and I noticed you were busy.” you reassure her with a gentle smile.
“That’s an understatement though it’s not an excuse. I’ll be more careful next time.”
“Are you working on something important ?” you ask as she packs her things in her bag.
“You could say that, yes.” 
“Where are you working ? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“I’m an FBI agent, more specifically I work with the Behavior Analysis Unit.” she informs, standing up.
“I get why you were tearing your hair out then” you joke.
“Stress comes with the job.”
“Not to the point of losing your beautiful hair I hope. I mean, I’ll probably be doing just the same at one point, this job is taking all my energy, though it’s clearly not the same. I’m not afraid of coffee beans.”
“You’ve been working here for a long time?” Emily questions.
“Since the opening, I’m the owner. I used to work in insurance and then, one day, I just decided to stop everything and open the café I had been dreaming of for years.”
“It was a good decision. I like this place a lot.” She sincerely compliments and it warms your heart.
“Thanks.”
“I’m gonna leave you alone. I wouldn’t want to make you work even later. Sorry again.”
“No worries.”
You start taking the coffee cup and the small plate when you hear the doorbell ring. You wait for the door to close when Emily’s voice resonates one last time in the café. 
“By the way, I’m Emily.”
“Y/N. Come back whenever you want.”
Emily gives you one last smile before leaving the café. You watch her leave through the window before closing the main door and finishing your cleaning. 
After that night, you don’t see Emily for weeks. You live your life as usual but you can’t deny you wish you could see her again. Emily has managed to get in your mind with one single conversation. Therefore, as soon as you end up seeing her again sitting at a table, you can’t help the smile on your face. Emily has at least three files spread in front of her and a pen in her right hand. Like last time, she goes through the different pages, a desperate expression on her face. You serve another client before coming to her.
“It looks like you need another coffee.” you say, making her raise her head.
“I need more than this.”
“Are you getting anywhere?”
“Slowly. Too slow for certain people.” Emily sighs, rubbing her neck.
“I’m sure you’ll find all the clues you need.” you softly tell her and you put your hand on her shoulder, making her heart beat faster. “I’m bringing you this coffee right away.”
Emily doesn’t move until you come back, still in shock because of your touch. Once you’re back, you give her her new cup of coffee and a small plate with a chocolate donut.
“I thought you’d need some sugar, too. It’s on the house.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“I want to.”
Before you can add something else, you hear one of your employees calling for you. You smile at Emily then you go see your employee.
Just like last time, all the clients have left, except Emily. And just like last time, you leave her alone whilst you do almost all the cleaning. The second you come back to her, Emily hears your steps and raises her head up before you can talk. She looks at her watch and sighs.
“I didn’t pay attention to the time. Again. Sorry.”
“Oh, don’t worry.” you smile, taking her dishes.
“Do you need help?” Emily asks. “It’s the least I could do to thank you for your patience and the donut - it was really good, by the way.”
“Thank you and I only have to wash the floor and your table and I’m done so no need.”
“I insist. Besides, it’ll get my head out of this case.”
“As you wish.”
Emily takes the broom while you wipe the table.
 “Do you often work late?” you ask, interrupting Emily in her task.
“More than I’d want to but it’s for a good cause.”
“And isn’t it too complicated with your personal life? I mean, I guess you have a lot of work to do and you have to travel quite regularly.”
“It can be complicated. My ex was also an FBI agent and even if it was nice because he could understand how busy our life could get, we ended up breaking up because of this. He was kind, it just wasn't working. It’s a bit more complicated to have a lasting relationship when there is distance.”
As you understand Emily’s last relationship was with a man, you feel dumb for thinking you could have a chance with her. Though, you quickly remind yourself she could be just as attracted to men as she is to women. However, you have to keep in mind that you might have zero chance with her.
“I get it but for me, it used to work with my ex. We broke up because our relationship had run its course, not because of the distance. I think that with the right person and the right efforts, it can work.” you genuinely admit.
“What’s his job?”
“She is a stewardess.”
Hearing you correcting the pronoun, Emily is embarrassed and yet, a part of her is also… reassured? She’s not sure why.
“Oh, sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed-”
“It’s okay.” you promise.
“You haven’t found someone else since?”
“No, I’ve been single for a year now so you can make me work late, I don’t mind.” you laugh.
“I still feel a bit guilty.”
You keep cleaning up as you get to know each other. Rapidly, you start laughing together. Emily is fascinated by you, she hadn’t felt this kind of connection with someone so quickly. She can’t stop asking you questions, she wants to know as much as possible about you. Once the café is completely cleaned, Emily is disappointed. She wishes this moment would never end.
“It was nice talking. We should do this more often.”
“Yeah, we should.”
“Maybe somewhere outside this café. What do you think?”
At your sentence, Emily stops functioning normally. Are you flirting with her? She can’t tell if you are though, she is sure of one thing: she wouldn’t mind it if you do. You give her your phone number, bid her goodbye then you walk to your car while Emily watches you leave, a million emotions running through her body.
As the weeks go by, you meet each other several times. At first, in public, in a park, at the movies, at the restaurant, then, one night, you invited her to finish the evening at your place and you discussed until late in the night.
Emily yearns for those moments with you. She always wants to be with you, listening to your voice, making you laugh. She doesn’t understand what’s happening to her. At first, she just thought she found a rare friendship but the more she thinks about it, the more she wonders if her feelings are only platonics. However, because of her work, she doesn’t have the time to question herself so she just juggles between her professional and personal lives. 
You invited Emily over for dinner. Emily is nervous about it though, she’s excited to see you, especially after the stressful day she’s had. She wants to relax and she knows with you, she can.
As you finish making the sauce, Emily knocks on your door. You open it and let her in. Right away, Emily inhales the smell coming from the kitchen.
“Oh my God, it smells so good.” she compliments as her mouth waters.
“Thanks! It’s the last recipe I learned at my cooking class. I hope you’re hungry.”
“Now more than ever!”
You give Emily a big smile before dragging her to the kitchen. As a way to whet her appetite, you make her taste the sauce and Emily thinks she’s never tasted anything better. Your cooking might compete with Rossi’s, though she’d never tell him.
After eating your supper, Emily’s stomach is perfectly full. You finish the evening sitting on the couch, a glass of red wine in your hands. Emily talks about her work and her team. She tells you some anecdotes and it makes you want to meet them even more. They seem to be important for her, to be her family. Whilst Emily is talking, you tenderly admire her as your bodies get closer and closer without both of you noticing. 
As soon as she looks up, Emily realises how close your faces are. Despite her, her eyes look at your lips. You see it and smile before breaking the distance a bit more. Emily doesn’t back up. Quite the contrary, she lightly leans in, only leaving a few inches between your lips. You’re about to press your lips on hers when a ringtone breaks the tension. Emily takes a step back and takes her phone, finding a new message indicating that there will be a meeting first thing in the morning with Miss. Davis, the attorney general.
“Nothing bad?” you question, frowning.
“No, just some information for a meeting tomorrow.”
After her sentence, there is a heavy silence between you two. This sudden interruption brought you back to Earth and you don’t know if you should act like nothing happened or try to get closer again. Embarrassed, you clear your throat before replying:
“You should go, then. I feel like you don’t sleep a lot and I wouldn’t want to be the reason why you’ll sleep at work.”
“You’re right. I’m gonna go,” Emily accepts and she stands up from the couch. “I had a great time tonight. We should do this again, at my place. Although, I can’t promise you a diner as good as yours.”
“As long as it’s made with love.”
Upon hearing your last word, Emily doesn’t know what to add. She wonders if your sentence was innocent or if you were implying something. She is an outstanding profiler and yet, you manage to make her lose her composure. And so, she simply says goodbye to you before leaving your apartment. 
On the way to her home, Emily can’t help but think back to your evening together and the moment you almost kissed. If her phone hadn’t rang, she could have an even more delicious memory than your food in her head. Before that night, she hadn’t realised how much she wanted your lips. As she thinks more about you, she ends up imagining a future with you where you’d be together and for the first time in her life, she’s not reluctant to it. She’s even delighted about some domestic moments, the same moments she used to get bored of in her previous relationships. She knows with you she won’t get bored. It’s different. What she feels for you, in spite of the fact that she might not fully understand it, already feels easier, more pleasant.
You might be in Emily’s mind more than she’d like to, the fact is, she has a case to solve. Indeed, when Emily is in her office, she’s professional. Sometimes, you find your way to her thoughts however, Emily doesn’t let you distract her. Still, her thoughts become louder and louder and Emily feels like she’ll explode. She needs to talk to someone, even if it’s the last thing she wants to do.
At the end of the day, someone knocks on her office door, getting her out of her head. She invites the person in and Tara appears.
“I wanted to say bye before leaving.”
At her sentence, Emily looks at her watch and discovers it’s almost 8:00 P.M. She sighs before looking up to her colleague.
“Tara, I’d like to talk to you before you leave.”
“Sure. Is it about Sicarius?” Tara wants to know before sitting in front of Emily.
“No, it’s… personal. Rebecca is the first woman you date, right? Before, you only dated men.”
“Yes, I did. Why?”
Tara stares at Emily, confused as Emily searches for her words. Never had Tara seen her in this state.
“How did you understand you wanted to be with Rebecca when…”
“When I had never been attracted to women before?” she finishes with a smile, finally getting where this conversation is leading. “First, now thinking back, I know I’ve been attracted to more women than I thought. As for Rebecca, it was just… natural. We met at a meeting and we clicked instantly. I admit I didn’t understand what was happening to me at first. Suddenly, I found myself wanting with her what I wanted with my exes, the only difference is that this time I found the right person. Why this question?  Did you meet someone?”
“You could say that,” Emily admits, avoiding Tara’s gaze. “Nothing is done, but I never felt this before. You know, when I was younger, I did everything to fit with kids my age, even if it meant making stupid mistakes. My relationships never really worked at first so I drafted a list for the ‘perfect man’ and whenever the man I thought I loved didn’t fit those criterias, I’d break up with him. The rare times a man checked the boxes, I would always search for a flaw. I always felt like something wasn’t working. I never knew if it came from them or me but those relationships never worked and those men always seemed more attached to me than I was to them.” Emily confesses, sighing. “The fact is, there was always a problem then I met her. Just like for you and Rebecca, we clicked instantly and it seems natural. I don’t feel like I’m playing a role and the more I think about her, the more I realise she fits everything I want in a relationship, even things I never thought about before. But… I don’t know…,” she says with hesitation, “I never imagined myself with a woman and yet, with her, I wouldn’t mind it. For the first time, I see a relationship with someone and it seems… peaceful. It’s ten times better than I thought. You know what I mean?”
“I totally get it.” Tara confirms with a big smile. “She really caught your eyes, didn’t she?”
“You have no idea. But I don’t know what to do. I know she likes women and I think sometimes she flirts with me but I don’t know.”
“You should talk with her. Trust my experience and update me.”
Emily hasn’t stopped thinking about her conversation with Tara and she rapidly understands she’s right. Thinking back, Emily knows what was missing in every of her relationships: she never liked those men, no matter her efforts to like them. Emily also knows the feelings she has for you are more than real so, she decided to invite you over so you can talk. 
Yet, once you’re at her place, Emily can’t bring the topic up. She does everything to avoid it. Emily always struggles to talk about her emotions as she learned dealing with them after the fact. However, once she sees your face brightens while you speak about the new things you want to do at your café, she only wants one thing and it’s to act emotionally and kiss you right now. You keep explaining the last baking recipes you want to add when Emily mutters:
“I want to kiss you so much.”
“What?” you exclaim, furrowing your eyebrows and with an ounce of hope.
“Huh… sorry, that’s not what I meant.” Emily apologises, blushing.
“Oh… okay.” you say before marking a pause and getting closer to her. “If it can make you feel any better, I wouldn’t be against it. I’ve been wanting to kiss you for months.”
“What held you back?”
“I wasn’t sure you were attracted to women.”
“I wasn’t sure about it either then, I met you and everything became clearer.” Emily admits, looking deeply in your eyes. “Since I was a kid, I knew I was different, but still I never understood why. And the minute we met, I understood why. I’m a lesbian and… Oh my God, it feels so good to say it out loud!” She screams, joyful and you lovingly look at her. “ I never thought I could be so at peace with who I am.”
“I get it. Realising who you are is never easy, even less when you realise this at our age but it’s so liberating. I’m happy you accepted yourself,” you state, taking her hand in yours.
“I still have some questions, but I think I’ve done the hardest part.”
“Well, I’d be happy to accompany you on this journey, unless you’d rather do it alone, which I wouldn't mind.”
“Did you forget the part where I want to kiss you?”
“Oh no, I still have it in mind.” you chuckle, “though I also know sometimes we need to be alone to unpack all of this. So, I’d understand if you didn’t want a relationship right away.”
“Quite the contrary, for once, everything is easy and I want you. I’m 100% sure about this and I’m not afraid of committing with you.
Determined, Emily puts her hands on your cheeks and gets closer until her lips touch yours. You smile while kissing her and one of your hands finds its way to her grey hair and the other to her waist. Whilst you keep kissing, Emily’s heart is about to explode in her chest. This kiss is the best one she’s ever had. This kiss is soft and yet, ten times better than all the ones she’s shared before. She could kiss you until she can’t breathe anymore and for the very time in her life, Emily knows she’s found the right person for her. In the end, the idea of the perfect man didn’t exist, simply because it was a woman, because it could never be anyone else but you and you’re ten times better than she imagined.
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asunsetgrace16 · 21 hours
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...Hey Dad, Fancy Seeing You Here ⎥ CB98
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Pairing: Connor Bedard x fem!Crosby!reader
Warnings: swearing, underage drinking (at home, closed environment, limited people)
Summary: Connor and Y/N Crosby, Sidney's daughter, are in a secret relationship and are outed when she watches a Blackhawks vs. Penguins game
Notes: The italics section is the flashback to how Connor and Y/N met. This is my new longest fic, and man I got carried away writing how Y/N and Connor met. Not really proofread, so hope for the best. Requested/suggested by anonymous.
Word Count: 2.3k
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It’s not exactly unexpected, for Connor Bedard and Y/N Crosby to be dating. His childhood idol, her father. Their lives are interconnected by a web of hockey players, former teammates, and friendships a mile deep. But, the caveat is, no one actually knows they are together. 
Y/N knew her dad would lose his mind when he found out who exactly her boyfriend is. From the time she was old enough to date, the rule was no hockey players, absolutely no teammates, and especially no rookies. Will he find out? Eventually, but not any time soon if Y/N has anything to say about it.
-
“I have tickets to most of the Canadian games, and I want to watch them win gold, in person. I was planning on going to the condo. No Dad, I'm fine. No, you don’t need to have Auntie Taylor come with me. I’m absolutely taking advantage of the fact that we have a place right where the World Juniors are happening. I’m seventeen for God’s sake, and I’ve been fairly independent for years. I’ll be fine.” Y/N says, on the phone with her dad. 
“I know, but you’re still my little girl. I’ll always want to protect you, no matter how old you get.” her dad, Sidney, says.
“I know dad, but this will be good practice for when I’m away at university.” She tells him teasingly.
“Uhhhg, don’t remind me.” he groans, “I trust you not to burn the place down, and try not to go overboard, with anything. The credit card for food and stuff is in the safe, and you have your own for anything else. Call me, if you need anything.”
“Thanks dad, I will.”
“Love you honey.”
Love you too, dad. Bye.”
There, that’s settled, Y/N thinks to herself. She is already in Cole Harbour, staying with her grandparents for Christmas. They already know her plans, and she convinced –not that she needed any convincing– her aunt Taylor to come with her for a girls trip. She flips her laptop open, hits play on Downton Abbey, and finishes her packing. 
“Tay, are you ready yet?” Y/N calls a few hours later. She hefts her suitcase down the stairs, shouldering a backpack.
“Yeah bug, just put my bags in the car. Bring yours out here too.” Taylor replies, “We can be on the road in twenty if we hurry.”
“Make it fifteen.” Y/N challenges with a grin.
The preliminary round of the tournament passes fast. After the shocking Game 1 loss, Canada bounces back and plows through every game afterwards. An exciting quarterfinals win against Slovakia has Canada set to play USA in the semifinals. A match up that always promises an electric game.
After the quarterfinal game, Y/N and Taylor head back to the dressing rooms and player’s entrance for a shortcut to the parking lot. They both have access, thanks to Sid. They talk excitedly about Bedard’s OT winner, a wicked 3-on-1 goal. 
“That was incredible.” Y/N exclaims. She’s no stranger to good hockey, but seeing a player that young, one her own age, to have such amazing talent is unreal to see. 
“Yes it was-” Taylor starts, but is cut off by a man in a suit stalking towards them.
“Hey! You two aren’t allowed back here. Players and staff only. Who do you think you are? Waltzing around here like you own the place? No respect anymore.” He rants before someone grabs him, pulling him away from Y/N and Taylor.
“I am so sorry about Randy. I’m Jim, by the way.” Jim apologizes, “I’m assuming that since you’re back here, you have permission. Is there something I can do to make it up to you? Wait, you’re Crosby’s daughter, aren't you? This makes a lot more sense now.”
“Yes I am, and we have permission. I can’t think of anything, it’s not necessary.” Y/N says. But Jim is determined, knowing who she is now. He offers to introduce the women to the team. They agree, and after Jim explains the situation to Randy, they all head back towards Canada’s dressing room. Talking the whole way, Jim explains that the team has a place rented for the tournament where the boys can hang out and relax. 
“If you’d like to join us, you are more than welcome. I won’t tell them who you are, I’ll let that happen naturally.” Jim says with a wink. “I want to see the look on their faces. It’s too bad your dad couldn't make it. That would really blow their socks off.” The group laughs and waits for Randy to make sure all the guys are decent, and beacons them in with a sheepish look, apologizing once again. The introduction is basic, no announcement or anything. Taylor and Y/N meet the rest of the staff first, quickly becoming engrossed in conversation. 
“So,” the head coach says, “Crosby’s daughter. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“And you.” Y/N replies.
“Coach, did you just say Crosby's daughter? She's here? Holy shit!” one of the players exclaims, joining their little group. “I’m Brandt, nice to meet you. Is your dad here, by chance?” He says, very quickly. The energy rolls right off of him.
“No, he’s not, unfortunately. West Coast road trip.” Y/N says, failing to hide a giggle. 
“Wanna mess with the guys with me?” Brandt asks, a scheming look on his face.
“Always.”
“Ok, I’m going to introduce you around, but not mention your last name. I want to see how long it takes the guys to figure out who you are.”
“Oh I like that.” They grin at each other, and make their way around the room. Before long, the whole team is standing or sitting close together, chatting with Y/N. The adrenaline can still be felt in the dressing room. 
“So how long are you in town for?” Dylan asks, “Hopefully long enough to watch us win gold.”
Y/N and Brandt exchange a look, “I’m planning on it. I don’t have to be back in Pittsburg until the tenth.”
“Pittsburg? You came all the way up here, to watch a Canadian team win? That makes no sense.” Logan wonders, looking confused.
“Oh I’m Canadian, I just live in Pittsburg with my dad. I was up visiting my grandparents for Christmas.” Y/N says. It is getting awfully difficult to keep a straight face. 
“Where do your grandparents live?” That comes from Olen.
“Cole Harbour.”
“Does that mean you've met Sidney Crosby?” Ethan asks. 
“Yup, see him all the time.” She bites back a smile. Brandt has to turn around and take a deep, shuddering breath so he doesn’t give them away. Connor sees him out of the corner of his eye. 
“Wait, you’re Y/N Crosby!” Connor says, standing up just as Y/N and Brandt burst out laughing. The rest of the boys look shocked as the two struggle to stop laughing. Connor grins, chuckling as Y/N wipes honest-to-goodness tears from her eyes. The staff and Taylor laugh amongst themselves, watching the young folks. 
“Guilty as charged.” She says breathlessly, silently wondering if Brandt is going to die of oxygen deprivation at this point. His face is pretty red. Now the questions are really flowing by the time Brandt finally regains some composure. The excited chatter doesn’t stop at the restaurant, either. Y/N and Taylor are invited to stay. As the evening winds down, Y/N finds herself with Connor, conversation flowing easily. 
“Nice goal, by the way. Dad was impressed.” Y/N says, nudging his shoulder with hers.
“Really?” Connor flushes. Cute.
“Yeah, he sees a lot in you.”
“That is…I have no words.” He admits. “Do you, um, do you think you’d want to sit with my family for the rest of the games? I want to talk to you more, and um…I’m just going to stop talking before I make a fool out of myself.”
“I’d love to.”
Connor and Y/N spend a lot of time together in the following days. She sits with his family during the final, and celebrates with them after they win gold.
“We did it!” Connor shouts, picking Y/N up and spinning her around. There is a moment when he sets her down where her arms are still on his shoulders and his hands are on her waist. The noise fades away, just the two of them in a little bubble. “Can I have your number? I’d like to keep talking to you, and take you out sometime.”
“Yeah, I’d like that.” She replies.
-
Now, over a year and 10 months into dating later, Connor and Y/N are both in Toronto for the All Stars. 
“Hey baby.” Connor says, putting his phone away when Y/N slips into the empty visitors dressing room.
“Hey Con.” She goes to him easily, settling comfortably into his open arms. He puts his chin on her head and tightens his hold on her. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too. I’m glad you decided to come.”
“Me too.” She tips her head up, meeting Connor in the middle for a sweet kiss. They go back to their hug, Y/N tucked against his chest, feeling warm again in the cold arena. They simply stand like that, swaying gently and soaking up the moment. They get so wrapped up in each other that they fail to hear voices outside the door. Connor goes to kiss Y/N again, but is interrupted by the door slamming open. Their heads snap to the door, wide eyed and scared.
“Y/N ANNA CROSBY. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?” Sidney yells furiously, steam practically shooting from his ears like a cartoon character. Nate is standing close behind him, and Cale, Mathew Barzal, and Brady Tkachuk stand in the doorway. Connor and Y/N take a step back from each other, but keep their hands tightly clasped.
“How dare you not tell me about this. You know the rules, I expect you to follow them.”
“I-” She begins.
“And you,” Sid says, pointing at Connor, “I expected better from you. You’re a good kid, but I have rules for a reason.” Y/N grips Connor’s hand, squeezing three times. 
“You can’t control me like this, Dad. I’ve never had a real relationship because of you. So much of my life is wrapped up in hockey that it was easy to find my person there, and if it wasn’t a hockey-playing boyfriend, it was a hockey fan boyfriend which is worse. All they ever wanted to talk about was you, they never wanted me for who I am. Or you just plain scared them off because ‘no one is good enough for my daughter so why should she even bother’.” Y/N says back to him. Her chest is heaving and she is fighting off tears. 
“I can’t believe that you didn’t tell me this. How long have you two been together anyways?” Sid asks, still pissed off.
“Ten months.” Connor replies, voice strong and true despite the situation. He is nervous, of course, but he loves Y/N too much to let his childhood idol have much of an impact.
“TEN MONTHS!” Sid exclaims, incredulous that his daughter kept this secret, “Bloody hell. What possessed you to keep this from me.”
“This exact reaction that I knew would happen. I knew that if I told you when Connor first asked me out, you would flat-out forbid me to see him, and that wouldn’t have ended the way you wanted anyway. At least this way the two of us can act as a united front and you can see that this isn’t bad. We are both 18, legal adults. You can’t tell me what to do anymore.”
Sid stays silent. He is still angry, but the figurative steam has gone away. Nate and the others hover around the door.
Y/N continues, “I get it, Dad. You just want to protect me, and I love you for it. But I’m not a little kid anymore, I can’t be sheltered forever. And Connor’s good to me. You know he would be.” She takes a deep breath, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I knew that if I did, you would react exactly the way you are. I wanted to be able to figure out my relationship without my dad looking over my shoulder the whole time.”
Sid’s face falls at her monologue. He can finally understand what Y/N was trying to say for years. “I’m sorry sweetheart. I had no intention for it to go that far. It is hard to watch you grow up, but I need to grow up some too and understand that you are an adult now. In my attempts to protect you, I drove you straight into what I always knew would happen. Thankfully, you picked a good one.” Sid pulls his daughter into a hug, tears threatening to fall. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me, it wasn’t fair of me.”
“Thanks dad, for apologizing. I know you meant well, but I don’t think this wasn’t the best way to get you to see my side of it” Y/N quips, a wry smile on her face. 
“I’m still pissed that you didn’t tell me, but I’d rather it was you than a lot of other guys” Sid states, reaching out to shake Connor’s hand, “but if you hurt her, I have a lot of power in this game.”
“I know,” Connor says, eyes focused on Y/N. A look so full of love even Sidney can’t deny it, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“Awwww.” The trio looks up to see the other four guys with their hands clasped over their hearts, cute pouts on their lips. 
“The babies are in love.” Cale says with a grin.
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rvzcvx · 2 days
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hello!! how are you? i hope it won't be difficult for you to write what i ask, but if it's problematic, just ignore it!
let it be a smut with dom Bill and sub reader, where they are each other's best Internet friends, because Bill is always on trains to concerts. when Bill and the reader arrange for the reader to come to his concert, when Tokio Hotel finally turns up in the city where the reader lives, after the concert, Bill and the reader must meet for the first time, since they had not seen each other live before. when the concert ends and they finally meet, Bill takes the reader to his dressing room, from where all the other band members have already left, and Bill has to wash off his makeup, which he asks the reader to help with, sitting her on his lap, which is why she is so embarrassed, but helps Bill. while taking off his makeup, Bill stares at her lips, and when the makeup is done, he kisses her, and it all turns into a smut.
i hope it doesn't look so bad and is feasible. good luck with that, even if you don't write what i asked for, but something else! have a nice day ;)
i believe in you! <3
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ONLINE FRIENDS
pairing: bill x female reader
warnings: smut, dom!bill, sub!reader, kissing, head (fem!receiving), p in v
a/n: i love your request!! i hope youre gonna have a good day too!! i really enjoyed writing this!! you guys can send more requests, i will write them as fast as i can!!
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For some time now, I have been texting online with a boy named Bill. He told me a lot about himself and his band, but we never met because he rarely visited the city where i lived.
Currently, I was sitting on my bed and scrolling through Instagram when someone started calling me. When I noticed it was Bill, I answered immediately.
"Hey Bill, what's up?" I asked. “Hey y/n, I wanted to tell you that my band will be having a concert in your city soon!” Bill said. You could hear in his voice that he was smiling.
"Oh my god, really?!" I screamed with excitement and almost started jumping around the room with happiness. "Really! I got you tickets, you'll be in the front row!" Bill said. "Thank you Bill, you are the best! I can't wait to see you!" I said with a big smile on my face.
"I can't wait to see you too!" Bill added. We talked for another half hour until Bill had to end because he had band rehearsals.
Time skip to the day of the concert.
Today is the day I will see the Tokio hotel in real life! I put on a black top, a short denim skirt, white heels and took a silver bag in which I put all the most important things.
I texted Bill that I couldn't wait to see him and left the house and got into a taxi. I gave the driver the address and after 20 minutes I arrived at my destination.
Since I had early access to the entrance, I could skip the entire queue and enter as one of the first to occupy the first row.
After half an hour, there was a crowd here. The concert hall accommodated as many as 50,000 people. As I looked around this huge venue, I didn't notice that the band had finally taken the stage.
Together with other fans, I started screaming and waving at the boys. I made eye contact with Bill and we smiled at each other, and in a moment the first song, durch den monsun, could be heard.
Time skip after the concert.
The concert was wonderful, I sang all the songs and I was very excited to see my online friend.
Finally, when the band left the stage, everyone started to get ready to leave, including me. As I reached the exit, a security guard approached me. "Bill Kaulitz asked you to go backstage, please follow me" The man said and started leading me somewhere where fans wouldn't have access.
We walked through long corridors until we finally stopped in front of a room where another security guard stood and let me in. Bill was sitting on the couch in the room.
When I saw him, I immediately approached him. "God Bill, you're even taller in real life than in the photos" I said and looked up at him, hugging him. "And you're even shorter." He laughed and patted me on the back.
"I have to take off my makeup and then we can go to the hotel. The boys have already gone anyway" He announced and sat down at the table with a mirror. "I can help you if you want" I said and smiled, standing behind him.
"Of course. It will be faster if you help me" Bill replied and smiled too, patting his knee, which probably meant that I should sit on it.
I blushed, but I didn't refuse and I sat on his knee, taking a cotton pad in my hand and starting to remove his makeup. I felt his eyes on my lips the whole time, but I didn't say anything.
When I finished, I smiled. "And it's done" I said, but I felt Bill's hand on my waist as he pulled me closer and kissed me.
At first, I was surprised and didn't know what to do, but after a while I kissed him back and placed my hands on his shoulders.
Bill placed his hands on my buttocks and lifted me up from the chair and placed my back against the table behind us as he continued to kiss me.
He started kissing me lower until he crouched down in front of me. "May I?" He asked, pointing to my skirt. I nodded yes and soon I heard the sound of my skirt falling down.
Bill pulled aside my already wet pink panties and buried his head in my folds. "Ahhh, Bill!" I screamed, grabbing his hair and pinning my legs on either side of his head.
"Fuck, you're so wet for me" He said, plunging his tongue into me. When I felt his cold piercing, I moaned loudly. "Bill, I can't, oh" I gasped, grabbing his hair in pleasure.
Bill continued, holding my thigh with one hand and rubbing circles on my clit with the other. Finally I felt a knot forming in my stomach and I cummed on his tongue. "Ahh, I'm cumming!" I moaned.
Bill just smiled and stood up, kissing me again. I felt his tongue, which still had some of my juices on it, and smiled into his lips.
"It's not over yet" He said and started to unbuckle his belt. I smiled and helped him take off his pants, steadying myself on the table with one hand.
He pulled down his pants along with his boxers and that's when I saw how big he was. My eyes widened and I swallowed. Bill pulled a small bottle of lube from his bag and spread it over his length.
After a while I felt him at my entrance. Bill grabbed my hips and kissed me. "Are you ready?" He asked. "Yes please" I said and grabbed his back, impaling myself on his cock.
We both moaned at the same time and Bill started moving. "You're so tight, god" He said. "Don't stop!" I said, feeling tears come to my eyes.
He quickened his pace, gripping my hips tightly and placing soft kisses on my neck. "Fuck Bill!" I screamed, digging my nails into his back and clenching my pussy around his cock.
"I'm about to cum" Bill panted, lowering his head to my shoulder. "Me too, oh my god" I moaned and felt that knot forming in my stomach again.
Bill pushed a few more times and finally he came inside me, and a moment later I came, with a loud moan. My tears fell onto his shirt and my nails dug into his back, leaving red marks on it.
We both put our clothes back on and then cleaned up the mess we had left. "We can go back to the hotel now" Bill said and kissed me.
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38 notes · View notes
t0ast-ghost · 2 days
Text
S3 EP14 (Whom Gods Destroy) in what way?- nevermind probably the killing way. Okay. Well-
Just go:
- “A medicine with which the federation hopes to eliminate mental illness for all time.” WHAT. That is certainly a way to start an episode
- Cory is either going to die or is not actually a doctor. Well according to Marta I’m right about the latter
- they fucking knocked Spock out! (His named autocorrected to spoon lol)
- oh wait so the ‘cure for mental illness’ thing was REAL?
- goddamn why’s he stand like that
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- Scott and McCoy are so confused
- Stigmatizing mental illness by showing that all characters who have it are violent. I get this is set in a prison but this is the only time they show any explicitly mentally ill characters and it’s to show that until there is a ‘fix’ they should be locked away for the safety of the public, which is not a good message to put onto tv. That is my problem with this episode, it’s spreading of stigmas and stereotypes.
- McCoy immediately saying that something’s wrong, ‘that’s not my boyfriend’
- Garth’s fashion sense is… awful
- getting distracted by Kirk’s ass
- oh my god that’s the first time anyone’s really threatened to harm Spock (edit: that’s a lie. That’s just a lie)
- Making the group of inmates all noticeably alien to make them seem like separate or fictional beings
- This argument? Live Spock reaction:
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- “What is your reaction, Mr. Spock?” “Well, I find it [the dancing], uh, mildly interesting and somewhat nostalgic, if I understand the use of that word.” “Nostalgic?” “Yes, it is somewhat reminiscent of the dances that Vulcan children do in nursery school. Of course, the children are not so… well-coordinated.” Spock danced as a kid
- Kirk does not want her. Also he’s gay and one of his husbands is right there.
- “A dream that made Mr Spock and me brothers.” I think this is the first time Kirk and Spock refer to each other as anything other than friends… fascinating
- “Blind! Truly blind. Captain Kirk is your commanding officer, and you are his subordinate. And that is all.” Yeah but they’re husbands. Also this feeds into more of the ‘Kirk is designed to be a lonely character’ thing. He can’t even have a connection to his first officer :(
- damn they didn’t even let him infodump
- “No, thank you, I prefer to join Mr. Spock.” Yeah you would
- THEY HAVE AN ELECTRIC CHAIR ?!?
- I think the governor character is a stand in for McCoy, but they decided, ‘I guess we’ve tortured him enough’
- He’s sleepy
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- And they’re kissing (edit: not sure who this is referring to)
- It’s always about getting to a control room and taking down a force field and never about kissing your boyfriend
- Spock coming to Kirk’s rescue? He finally got his knight in shining armour moment
- That’s not Kirk dammnit. He would never let Spock stay- oh wait it was Spock who was the imposter. Okay but where’s Spock
- Kirk’s little curl <3
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- Kirk gets fucking shot. Second time he’s been knocked out this episode
- “You could serve as human sacrifice, for example.” “No, I wouldn’t enjoy that at all.” I love when they write Kirk as polite but obviously he’s got that Spock/McCoy sass rubbed off on him
- Kirk must be so disoriented. He got shot with a phaser and wakes up being held in a very uncomfortable position. Then he’s getting dragged places and beat up again.
- WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS EPISODE. No. No. What the fuck. They just made her choke on gas and then blew her up. This is horrifying. I swear some of these episodes are on the level on horror movies
- It’s funny how Scott and McCoy are getting along (and running the ship together)
- oh okay Spock’s just been chilling
- DOUBLE NERVE PINCH
- OKAY Spock ACTUALLY gets to save his husband in distress this time by being the knight in shining armour
- Once again Spock does not solely abide by pure unemotional logic, he does not fuck around, but he does find out. He’ll get you.
- THEY DID NOT PULL A ‘which is the real Kirk’ ON SPOCK
- which ones got the bigger ass- who said that (edit: I do not remember writing that but it’s genuinely the best thing I’ve written)
- HE DECIDES TO WAIT. HOT GIRL SHIT
- Spock isn’t turned on at all during this fight
- HOT GIRL SHIT IS SHOOTING THE INTRUDER PRETENDING TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT
- The thing that turns on and off the force field is literally a switch that says on and off and is labelled ‘force field power’
- yay they win or smt
- ‘Why’d it take you so long to know it was me?’ ‘Well in simple words, captain. I didn’t want to shoot my fucking boyfriend.’
They cured mental illness… We’re done for tonight.
Masterpost
Teleplay by Lee Erwin
Story by Lee Erwin & Jerry Sohl
22 notes · View notes
xxspringmelodyxx · 21 hours
Text
Regrets~
Choso x reader (Hella Angst)
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I’m in literal tears. Gege, literally sleep with one eye open tonight >:((((
Warnings: Contains spoilers, sad, sad, and sad
________________________
You strolled through the bustling city streets, reveling in the lively atmosphere as you searched for the perfect gift.
"So, when are you finally going to tell him? I’m losing my patience over here!" Yuki's voice burst through the phone, brimming with excitement at the prospect of you confessing your deep love.
"Easy, Yuki. I'll wait until he gets back from his trip. I can't believe you talked me into this. I just hope everything goes as planned," you replied, trying to mask the nerves creeping in.
”Oh come on now, n/n! If Choso doesn’t feel the same way about you, then I’ve been living a whole lie. I mean just looking at him whenever you are around makes me almost burst out laughing because of how red he gets. Or when he can barely come up with a proper sentence to say because he can’t think straight when he is around you. Or the fact that he gets so pissed when he sees you going on a mission with another man besides him. Or when-“
"Alright, alright, I hear you, Yuki," you interrupted, unable to suppress a laugh at her fervor. Despite her convincing arguments, doubt lingered in your mind.
"I guess it's just my own insecurities speaking."
"Tell those insecurities to fuck right off! You and Choso are a match made in heaven. If you two don't end up together, I'll lose faith in love altogether," Yuki retorted, her sarcasm laced with sincerity, eliciting a giggle from you.
"I just hope he comes back soon. It's been two weeks since we last spoke, and I'm getting restless. I miss hearing his voice and gazing into his eyes," you confessed.
"Aww, you're melting my heart over here!" Yuki cooed affectionately.
Yuki’s affectionate response brought a faint smile to your lips, momentarily lifting the heavy weight of sorrow from your heart.
“I’m serious, Y/N,” she continued, her tone soft yet playful. “You two are like characters straight out of a romance novel. It’s about time you two realize it.”
You chuckled lightly, grateful for Yuki’s unwavering optimism even in the face of your own doubts.
“Thanks, Yuki,” you replied, your voice tinged with a hint of warmth. “I needed that.”
“No problem, n/n,” Yuki replied, her voice filled with genuine care. “Just remember, whenever you’re ready to tell Choso how you feel, I’ll be here to cheer you on.”
You smiled, thanking her for always making you feel better.
As you continued to talk to her about the whole situation, you kept your eyes peeled for the perfect gift that would capture the essence of your love for Choso. And then, just when you least expected it, you stumbled upon it: a beautiful, handcrafted necklace adorned with a delicate silver charm. It was just the thing you were looking for.
’Oh, I gotta go girl. I think I just found the perfect gift for Choso.” You spoke.
Yuki’s voice echoed with anticipation as she bid you farewell. “Ooh, I can’t wait to hear all about it later! And remember, if you need any last-minute pep talks, I’m just a phone call away.”
You ended the call as you two said your goodbyes, quickly walking into the store that caught your attention.
You walked right up to where the necklace was and held it in your hand, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
“He will love this.”
You made your way to the cashier, excitement coursing through your veins. This gift, you knew, would convey everything you had been unable to put into words. The depth of your love, the sincerity of your affection, and the promise of a future filled with endless possibilities.
“Oh goodness, this is a gorgeous piece. Is It for you or a lucky someone?” The cashier asked, her eyes scanning the necklace.
”It’s for someone. I hope he likes it.”
”Oh honey, I’m sure he will just love it. It is absolutely gorgeous.” She said, scanning the price tag.
”I thought so too. The perfect gift for the perfect man.” You said, feeling a pleasant warmth spread throughout your chest.
��Careful dear, keep thinking about that special boy and soon the blood will rush to your face so soon you’ll pass out.” She teased.
I looked away, a smile creeping up on my face again as I listened to her.
”Here you are, dear. I hope whoever this fine young man is realizes just how lucky he is to have someone like you.” She spoke with endearment.
I thanked her and paid for the necklace, leaving the store.
As you made your way home, the thought of finally being able to express your feelings to Choso filled you with a sense of joy and anticipation.
As you entered your apartment, the familiar warmth of home enveloped you, soothing the lingering traces of doubt and uncertainty that had clouded your mind. Settling onto the couch, you retrieved the necklace from your pocket, cradling it with your hands as you admired its delicate craftsmanship.
You decided to turn on a movie to allow time to pass, still holding onto the necklace.
As the movie played in the background, you found yourself lost in thought. With each passing scene, memories of Choso flooded your mind, each one a sweet, sweet reminder of the love you held for him.
Lost in the timeless embrace of cinematic magic, your fingers danced delicately over the intricate patterns of the necklace, their movements a silent testament to the depths of your affection. With each stroke, you traced the curves and contours of the pendant, weaving a tapestry of longing and devotion that shimmered in the soft glow of the room.
As the hours slipped by unnoticed, the vibrant hues of the daytime sky gradually gave way to the velvety darkness of night. A symphony of stars adorned the heavens, their celestial glow painting a breathtaking tableau against the midnight canvas. The moon, a luminous beacon of silver, cast its gentle radiance over the sleeping city below, bathing it in a soft, ethereal light.
Beneath the canopy of stars, you stepped out onto the balcony, the cool night air caressing your skin like a gentle embrace. The city below lay bathed in the soft glow of streetlights, its bustling energy now hushed in the tranquil embrace of the night.
As you stood there, enveloped in the serenity of the nocturnal world, a sense of peace washed over you, soothing the tumultuous currents of your heart. With each breath, you felt a profound connection to the universe, a reminder of the boundless beauty that surrounded you.
Leaning against the balcony railing, you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to be swept away by the symphony of night sounds—the distant hum of traffic, the soft rustle of leaves in the breeze, the occasional chirp of a cricket. In this moment of quiet contemplation, you felt a deep sense of gratitude for the simple pleasures that life had to offer.
As the night wore on, a gentle weariness settled over you, a welcome invitation to the realm of dreams. With a contented sigh, you bid farewell to the stars above, their twinkling light a silent companion in the vast expanse of the night sky.
As you retreated indoors, the soft glow of the moonlight filtering through the window cast a serene ambiance over the room, painting everything in a gentle luminescence. With each step towards your bed, you felt the weight of the day's emotions lifting, replaced by a tranquil sense of calm.
Nestling under the covers, you cradled the necklace in your hands, its delicate contours glinting softly in the ambient light. As you closed your eyes, the soft rustle of the night breeze outside whispered secrets of love and longing, a soothing lullaby that wrapped around you like a warm embrace.
With the necklace nestled beside you, its presence a silent promise of the love that lay within your heart, you surrendered to the embrace of sleep.
As the morning unfolded, dark clouds hung low in the sky, casting a pall over the city. The sound of rain tapping against the window panes filled the air, a somber melody that matched the heaviness in your heart.
Groggily, you reached for your phone, the soft glow of the screen illuminating the dimly lit room. Your heart skipped a beat as you saw a flurry of missed calls and messages from Yuki, her name flashing urgently on the screen.
With a sense of growing unease, you opened the messages, each one a testament to Yuki’s increasing concern:
”Y/n, I’m so sorry.”
“Y/N, are you okay? I’ve been trying to reach you all morning”
“Please, answer me. Something’s wrong.”
“I’m coming over. If you’re not okay, I need to be there for you.”
Confusion and worry knotted in your stomach as you quickly dialed Yuki’s number, the anticipation building with each ring.
“Y/N, thank goodness you called back,” Yuki’s voice trembled with urgency on the other end of the line.
”Yuki, what’s wrong? Is everything alright?” You asked, confused as to whats got her all riled up
“You mean…you don’t know?” She asked, her voice trembling and breaking.
”Know what? What’s going on, Yuki?” You asked, growing anxious as she kept quiet.
”You need to turn on the news.” She spoke quietly, almost as if she was trying to hold back a sob.
With a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, you made your way to the living room, the rain drumming a mournful beat against the windows. Fumbling for the remote, you switched on the television, your heart pounding in your chest.
And then, as the screen flickered to life, your worst fears were confirmed. The news anchor’s voice filled the room, delivering the devastating news that Choso, the man you loved, was dead.
Shock reverberated through you, a numbness settling over your senses as you struggled to comprehend the enormity of the loss. Tears blurred your vision as you read the scrolling ticker at the bottom of the screen, each word a dagger to your shattered heart.
In that moment of agonizing despair, you clung to your phone like a lifeline, scrolling through the messages from Yuki once more. Each one a plea for reassurance, a desperate attempt to reach out across the void of grief and offer solace in the face of overwhelming sorrow.
And as you stood there, enveloped in the suffocating grip of loss, all you could do was hold onto the memories of the love you shared, a fragile beacon of light in the darkness of despair.
As the news sank in, a gut-wrenching wave of disbelief and anguish washed over you, threatening to engulf you in its relentless grip. “No… no, no, no, NO!!!” you screamed out, the words torn from the depths of your soul as if pleading with the universe to undo the cruel twist of fate.
With trembling hands, you sank to the ground, the weight of the news bearing down on you like a crushing weight. Tears streamed down your cheeks unchecked, each sob echoing the shattered pieces of your heart.
In that moment of raw, unfiltered agony, time seemed to stand still, the world around you fading into a haze of pain and despair. The reality of Choso’s absence loomed over you like a dark specter, a gaping void where once there had been love and laughter.
Clutching your phone to your chest, you curled into yourself, the ache of loss consuming you from the inside out. How could this be happening? How could the man you loved, the man you had dared to hope for a future with, be taken from you so suddenly, so senselessly?
You realized with a pang of despair that you would never get the chance to finally confess to Choso how much you loved him. The words you had longed to speak, the feelings you had kept hidden deep within your heart, now seemed like a cruel joke, forever out of reach. How could you have been so foolish, so blind to the fleeting nature of time? How could you have let fear and doubt rob you of the chance to lay bare your soul to the one person who mattered most?
Tears mingled with raindrops as you lay there, consumed by a maelstrom of grief and regret. The ache of loss tore at your insides, a relentless reminder of all that had been lost in the blink of an eye.
Weeks had passed since the day Choso had left this world, yet the pain of his absence remained as raw and agonizing as ever. With each passing day, the ache in your heart had only grown more pronounced, a relentless reminder of all that had been lost.
Now, as you stood before his gravestone, the weight of grief bore down on you like a burden too heavy to bear. Raindrops fell softly from the sky, mingling with the tears that streamed down your cheeks, a testament to the depths of your sorrow.
Clutching the necklace in your hand, you knelt before the stone marker, the cold, unforgiving earth pressing against your knees. The words engraved upon the marble surface blurred in your vision, obscured by the haze of tears that clouded your sight.
"I'm so sorry, Choso," you whispered, your voice choked with emotion. "I'm sorry that I never got the chance to tell you how much you meant to me, how much I loved you."
The words spilled from your lips in a torrent of anguish, each syllable heavy with regret and longing. With trembling hands, you reached out to trace the letters of his name, as if by touching them, you could somehow bring him back to life.
"I miss you," you confessed, your voice barely more than a whisper against the backdrop of the falling rain. "Every day, every moment, I miss you more than words can say. I wish I could turn back time, to tell you how much you meant to me, to hold you in my arms just one more time."
But the only response that greeted your words was the echo of your own sorrow, the silence of the graveyard offering no solace, no comfort in the face of your overwhelming grief.
With a heavy heart, you placed the necklace atop the gravestone, a small offering of love and remembrance in the vast expanse of loss.
Your trembling hands traced the outline of his gravestone, fingers tracing the engraved letters that spelled out his name. Each stroke was a tender caress, a silent tribute to the man you had loved so deeply.
Leaning forward, you pressed your lips to the cool marble surface, a bittersweet kiss that spoke volumes of the love that still burned within your heart. You, lost in a sea of grief and regret, felt the gentle touch of familiar hands on your shoulders, pulling you back to the present moment. Yuki and Yuuji stood beside you, their presence a source of solace in the midst of your despair.
“I just wish I could have told him. So that he at least knows…” you whispered, your voice trembling with the weight of unspoken words and unshed tears. The anguish in your heart spilled over, manifesting in sobs that wracked your body with each passing moment.
“He knows,” Yuki’s voice was soft yet resolute, her words a balm to your wounded soul. “Choso knew, Y/N. He knew how much you loved him, even if the words were never spoken.”
Her words hung in the air, a gentle reminder that love transcended the boundaries of time and space, reaching beyond the realm of the living to touch the hearts of those who had passed on. And in that moment, as the rain continued to fall, washing away the traces of sorrow that clung to your skin, you felt a glimmer of peace take root within you.
With a shaky breath, you nodded in acknowledgment, the weight of your grief still heavy upon your shoulders but somehow more bearable in the presence of those who cared for you. And as you stood there, surrounded by the love and support of your friends, you knew that even in death, Choso’s spirit would continue to watch over you, a guardian angel guiding you through the darkest of nights.
And as you stood there, your tears mingling with the rain that fell from the heavens above, you made a solemn vow to carry Choso's memory with you always, to honor his life with every breath you took.
For even in death, his spirit would live on in the love that had bound you together, a love that transcended the boundaries of time and space, a love that would endure for all eternity.
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Text
Good People Part V - Can't Be For Nothing (Platonic)
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Summary: War. Revelations of two-hundred years ago, and of a night that won't leave your mind. A new world is seemingly born; as is a new family.
Episodes 7/8
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Note: Thank you all for following this journey! I will probably do a post mortem on it; exploring my ideas going in, what changed and such. Hope you enjoy it when that comes! I'll link it here when I write it!
"We don't have oysters in my vault," Lucy says, making you and Maximus turn around, "we have canned tuna. But, if you like oysters, I'm pretty sure you'll like canned tuna," you both don't know what to say. You both look at each other, then back at Lucy, and just nod. Maybe. Maybe not.
She chuckles, nervously. Then --
"I was supposed to marry a stranger from another vault," she blurts out.
"I thought you were meant to marry your cousin?" you question.
"Wait, what--?!"
"Well," Lucy says, correcting you on the timeline, "I was. But, I didn't really want to. I didn't feel a - connection. I guess I...I did with this one...as he - as he, uh, as he stabbed me. But, look, my point is, I don't have the best luck when it comes to strangers. But...Titus...Y/N...you are the best strangers that I have ever met. You're good people. You deserve nice things. You deserve a home, and a roof over your head. And to not have to fight anymore. And, if you wanted to, you could both come and live with us in Vault 33."
There's a look in her eyes as she looks at Maximus - Titus, the knight who isn't a knight; he'd told you before the whole thing in the vault happened. Sure, you didn't like being lied to about his identity; but, a good person was a good person - and it's a look you've seen before. Romantic love. Attraction. Even out here, it blossoms.
You never wanted that in your life. Friendships were enough for you. So, as quietly as you can, you back away. You go through the doors, letting your friends have their moment together.
It gives you a moment to process. Maximus. Why'd he be honest with you at first? Why not lie. Maybe it was getting too hard for him. Maybe he thought, one slip would be ok. He bet right, it seemed. You didn't tell anyone. Maybe you were a good person. Maybe you did deserve a second chance at life. Another sis-
"Hey," Lucy says, as she leaves with Maximus. He nods to you, you nod back.
"Are you both all square?" you ask.
She looks to Maximus, nodding with a soft smile, "yeah, we're good," she looks back to you, "you ok with a roomie in the vault?"
You look at Maximus, "he ain't so bad company, for a non-red," he snorts at your wording, "I think we'll manage."
Lucy nods, a spring in her step as she walks, leading the way, "let's go get that head, and go home, huh?"
Maximus stands next to you, "ready to go home?" he asks, looking at you.
"Yeah," you say, arms folded. You bump your arm on his, "let's go home."
You, finally, find Thaddaeus, as he sits near a radio station. You see the booby traps, but all three of you pause. Perception working in tandem.
Gunshots are next. However, luck seems to intervene. They all miss. Still, the hands go up. You're not a threat to him. You just want the head.
If anything, though, he's a threat to himself. As he backs up, an arrow goes through his neck. However...he lives still.
His reaction:
"Aw, no! Awwww!"
Then you hear it. Your pulse picks up. Your hand goes into a fist. You feel the nails break skin.
Vertibird. The Brotherhood are here. Your breath picks up.
Maximus breaks one of the heads left behind. He says things to Lucy, then to you. He looks concerned, but doesn't have time to help. He gives you a light push. Lucy takes your hand. Everything sounds underwater. The only thing you can hear is that fucking Vertibird.
You follow Lucy. She keeps a grasp on your hand. You take her gun, just in case.
You make it far away. Or, what you hope to christ constitutes too far away.
You lean against a dead tree, going down to your knees.
Lucy puts the fresh - well, not really fresh, but new - head into a bag and ties it to her belt, before kneeling down next to you. She's seen you feel. But, never to this extent.
"Ok. Ok. Okey Dokey, Luce, you can do this. You can do this. Your friend needs you. Your friend needs you," she tells herself. The old self is still there.
"Y/N?" she asks, softly, "Y/N, I need you to look at me. Focus on my voice," she says. Chet would sometimes get overworked with things. So, she had some practice. But never with someone so trapped in themselves as you.
"Are - is touch ok?" that breaks through, and you nod.
"Ok. Ok, that's - that's, uh, that's good. That’s good, Y/N,” she may be out of her depth - but you need her, and so she’d do all she could, “that’s good. Can you try to take some breaths with me?”
She takes a deep one in. You follow. She sees you now. Whatever the Brotherhood had done before, it had destroyed you.
“Do you wanna tell me what happened?” she asks.
“Just…” you take some more breaths, “just bad memories of the Brotherhood,” you chuckle, but it’s anything but a laugh, “Jesus, Luce. Whatever is in that head, it’s gonna change the world, whoever get their hands on it. You know,” you say, smiling a bit, “we could just run. You and me, huh? Just not let anyone get that fucking head.”
Despite what Lucy would leave behind, she smiles, “it’s a nice idea,” she says, “but, I need to get my dad back. I need to know why Moldaver took him. I need to put this all behind me, one way or another. That,” she stands up, and offers you a hand, “and I made you a promise. A place in my vault. Safety. This place sucks, but it sucks a lot less with someone by my side. And, I’m not leaving you. I’ll wait as long as I need to.”
You’ve seen loyalty like that before. Or had seen it. It hadn’t been followed through on. But, here was someone who you had known for two weeks, who was following through on a thing someone who you had known your entire life didn’t do. 
So, you nod. You can tell her later your full trauma. Right now, she needs you. 
You take her hand, and continue along your way. You hope Maximus is ok. And, selfishly, you hope he can buy you the time you need to get this done. 
You make it to your destination. Finally, People with guns surround you, but neither of you flinch. The doors open, and in you go. 
You walk through a garden, seeing kids running around. A community. Home. Safety. Family. Life continues on, even throughout all of this shit.
Lucy and you get to the entrance to the observatory. Lucy is let in, but you aren’t.
“No,” she says, voice firm, “they come too. They’re family. Moldaver doesn’t get this head if Y/N doesn’t come with me.”
Begrudgingly, the man lets you pass. 
You reach the doors.
“You ready?” you ask your best friend. She takes a deep breath in, and nods.
“As I’ll ever be.”
“Hey,” you say, nudging her, “I’m right here, ok? Like I said, offer still stands.”
She smiles, “I know.”
You enter the room. It’s a grand view, you’ll give it that. See almost the whole wasteland from here. 
You stay back, keeping an eye on things from afar.
“I’ve had a lot of time to think about this moment,” Lucy says to Moldaver, “you wouldn’t believe the things that went through my head. One night…I, I actually tried to stuff a grenade into the neck hole; but, I guess I thought that, really, I was gonna walk in here and…blow everybody up. But it's not really how I was raised. That, and I was stopped by that person over there,” she nudges her head to you. You give a wave, a sarcastic one as you then go back to keeping an eye on thing. So, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna keep things civil.”
Moldaver takes what she needs. It wasn’t his head after all. It was his neck. A blue, small, shining little thing that caused all this bloodshed?
She then makes Lucy an offer. One to fully learn who her father is. To fully understand how Moldaver knows him; and why she did what she did. 
Her father tries to make her not listen. He even looks to you, “you can stop this, you know. She’s your friend, protect her!” He demands.
You look at him, and a part of you wants to. You look at Lucy, she does a slight - almost unnoticeable, but not to you - shake of her head.
“It’s her choice,” you say. The man snarls at you.
Moldaver continues. She tells a story. A story about how her father had been around for a long time. 
“Part of an organisation that thought they had the answers to all the world’s problems…” she continues the story. Saying about the people he was a part of. Vault Tec.
“He never told you where he’s really from, when he’s from. He never told your mother, either…”
Lucy takes the bait. Your hand moves towards your gun. Her father may be in a cell, but he’s a dangerous man - who has been around for a long time.
Lucy is described as just like her mother: kind, loving, curious.
“Isn’t that why you came to the surface? Moldaver asks, “partly to rescue your father, but…to know why I took him.”
Lucy looks at you. She’s been read like a book.
Moldaver then looks to you, “have I seen you before?” 
You look at Moldaver, tilting your head before shaking it.
She studies you for a moment. Then, her eyes light up in realisation. They’re not cruel, though. Just realisation. That’s the only look in her eyes.
“Ah. Y/L/N, right?” she takes your frozen stance as a ‘yes’ before continuing, “I knew her.”
“...’Knew’?” you ask, throat tightening.
“Stop,” Lucy’s dad says. You don’t know why. There’s a slight ringing in your ears.
“Lucy deserves to know the truth,” Moldaver spits at the man, eyes still firmly locked on yours, “so Y/N does too. You came all this way with her, to deliver something for someone you didn’t even know. That sounds like your sister to me,” it’s not said tauntingly. It’s not said with any negative connotation. It’s just simply said. 
“You knew her?” is all you can repeat.
Moldaver nods, “I did. She thought you died out there, that night the raiders came. The night the Brotherhood made their own mess of things. She survived. Barely, but, she did survive. We took her in. She helped us anyway she could. Some sort of thanks, but also I think a punishment to herself for seemingly losing you,” you look to Lucy, who looks in concern, but also a hunger to know - to know about herself and her mother, and how her father ties into all this; a hunger to know about you, about what made you this way. 
Curious, as Moldaver said.
“She was a fighter,” Moldaver continues, “just like you are. Sure, you can shoot and hit things. But, you, no. No, you are more in battle up here,” she says, tapping her head, “now, that is a battle I can fully respect. It isn’t easy fighting a battle like that. Wanting to hurt people, and yourself,” your eyes drift, meeting the eyes of Lucy’s father. He doesn’t say anything.
“No, don’t look at him,” Moldaver says, “he doesn’t care about hurting anyone. He’d hurt his own daughter before he got hurt himself.”
“How dare –!”
“How’d she die?” you ask. The words were easier to come out than you thought. Your eyes go back to Moldaver. Your fist clenches again. You feel it pierce skin.
“I think you know,” Moldaver says, a bit of empathy slipping through.
You blink, or try to blink, the tears away, “raiders.”
She nods.
You cave inwards. You hear your heartbeat. You hear echoes of your sister’s voice. You feel everything you did on that night. The fear. The pain as a wound opened up from a knife. The relief at the Brotherhood arriving. The dread at them just cutting everything and anything down. You played dead. You remember waking up hours later, on top of the rotting pile of one of your friends who had left you for raiders. You remember looking around, not finding your sister. The panic. Then the pain. Then the rage. Then the numbness. You lost…it couldn’t have been years, could it? It could’ve been for all you knew. You just wandered. And hurt. Sometimes even got pissed on. Sometimes did the pissing. You were sometimes the victim, and sometimes the aggressive. Sometimes innocent. Sometimes guilty.
You hear the alarm, then feel someone grab your arm. Your eyes open, it’s Moldaver. She nods to the door. Your fingers are removed from your flesh. You gasp. Moldaver gives you a pat on the arm, before leaving with her people. You run to the massive hole in the building, seeing the Brotherhood arrive. You pray with everything in you that Maximus isn’t in one of the suits. You look to Lucy, then nod. You go to the door. 
As if having sixth sense, Lucy turns around and sees you heading for the door, “where are you going?!” she asks, alarmed.
You pause at the door, hand hovering just over the handle. 
“Y/N? Where are you going?”
You don’t turn to look at your friend. Instead, you shut your eyes and answer:
“I’ll buy you some time.”
“What–? What, Y/N that’s - that’s suicide!” She moves forward, grabbing your arm, making you turn to look at her.
What she sees makes her pause.
It’s the same look she gave Norm when she hid him. A protective fire. One that could be used for limitless energy just like the Cold Fusion that everyone was fighting over.
It’s then. Right then and there, she lets herself say it to herself.
Sisterly. It was sisterly, how she felt towards you. You were like Norm, someone she just accepted and would do anything for. You’re family. 
You seemed to have that same realisation. Given the look in your eyes.
It was the sibling telling the other: I will sort this out. Do not come out until then. I love you.
But, instead of a camera reel burning to project the living hell being brought down upon you all. The whole world seemed to be burning that fiery red instead. Burning and crumbling down all around you.
Just like with Norm, that assurance didn’t work. She gripped your arm tighter.
“Please.”
You put the hand that was hovering around the door on top of hers, squeezing it.
“I’m coming back,” you promise.
“Don’t make a promise you can’t keep.”
You shake your head, “I ain’t. ‘Cause them out there, they’re fighting for power. Some, dumb thing such as that in a world that lost control years ago.”
“Then - then why are you going out those doors?” 
You smile, “I already let one sister down. I ain’t doing that again.”
With that, you pull your arm free, and open the door. You give Lucy one more nod, before shutting it behind you.
She gulps. Then she hears ringing in her ears. As all that she has learned about her mother, father, upbringing, everything, comes crashing down upon her.
You remember one of your first kills. A man was trying to kill yourself and your sister. He had knocked her out. He had punched you a few times and the world was spinning. You had spat blood onto the floor as the man moved over to your sister. With whatever strength you had left. You got up, charged him, and had him on the floor this time. You punched him a few times, before sticking your teeth into his neck. His gurgled scream didn’t mean anything to you. You just had this anger. This protective fury to you. You ripped out the piece of his throat that you had taken, spitting it out. 
Your sister was standing next to you the next moment, you both watching the man bleed out. She only reached a hand out to you. You took it. You held it for a while after. A bloodsoaked hand. But a promise to never let go. To keep going together.
Fate had other ideas. The Brotherhood had their goals. But they mistook you for raiders it seemed. Or just couldn’t see shit in those helmets of theirs when they started firing. It was only you and your sister and at that point, you didn’t mourn them much. But, that fire of knowing - or, at least, knowing as you did at the time - that your sister had been seemingly killed as well…it made you punish yourself. It made you never fully heal after fights. It made you never fully accept help.
And yet, that damn Lucy Maclean had come into your life, and given you something you never thought you’d have again:
Hope. 
You remember that hope as you fir each round - you are a decent shot, especially for someone who has no actual training with them - and hit most of your targets. You take weapons from fallen people where you could. 
A bullet hits your piece of cover. You heard footsteps. Your latest weapon had clicked ages ago. So, you wait…and wait. And then –
You dive, tackling the person to the floor. They block a punch, before you get one in and –
A bullet slams into your shoulder, sending you to the ground.
“No!” you hear a familiar voice say. You blink, adjusting to the searing pain and the daylight. It’s Maximus, with a friend of his, “they’re my friend! They’re my friend!” he says.
“Oh shit!” his friend says, dropping to one knee, dragging you out of the way. The war itself is distraction enough.
“Where’s Lucy?” Maximus asks you.
You have a hand to your shoulder. One his friend removes as they put a Stimpack into your arm. You groan at it, before answering him:
“Upstairs…with her father.”
“Is she alive?” 
“The more you piss around here, not likely,” you say.
Maximus nods. He looks to his friend, “go,” they say. He nods, and pats you on the arm and leaves. 
His friend stays with you, “I’m sorry,” they say.
You nudge your head to the door, “go. Don’t get caught out here.”
They look like they wanna stay, then realise why you’re saying that. The Brotherhood are brutal. They only let Maximus live due to loyalty. They nod, leaving too, but a few extra rounds find their way onto the floor.
Good deeds and all that, Lucy would say.
The battle seems to be dying down. And you are just plain dying. Another shot had hit you. This one closer to your chest. You had stumbled your way into the building, seeing dead Brotherhood members around you. 
You collapse, growing weaker by the moment. You hate it, having your promise be broken. But, you tried. You fought them off as best you –
“Aw, hell,” you hear a gruff voice say. A hand grabs your arm, and you are hoisted up; your arm going around someone’s shoulders, “we gotta stop meeting like this, sunshine.”
You look, and see the Ghoul who had taken you hostage.
“Ah,” he says, “don’t talk. You’re the silent one. I like that about you. Only talk when necessary,” he begins to move you to the stairs, “now, don’t worry about these ones. They’re all taken care of. But, I do need a word with Mister Maclean. And, I do think that if little Miss Lucy finds out I left you to die, she might do more than rip off my finger, this time.” 
He gets you to the room. He opens the door and goes in, leaning you against a wall. You stumble in as best you can, looking worse and worse by the second. 
“Uh-uh,” The Ghoul says when Hank Maclean looks at you, “don’t look at them. You look at me, now,” Hank complies.
You make your way over to Maximus and Lucy. Getting to the floor with at least a bit of grace. Lucy looks at you, eyes going wide.
You reach out with your hand not on your wound, and cover Lucy’s. A bloodsoaked hand. But a promise to never let go. To keep going together.
“You look out at this wasteland,” the Ghoul says, “it looks like chaos. But there’s always somebody behind the wheel.”
He knows Lucy wants to know how he knows her father. But makes an offer. You can stay here, wait for Maximus to wake up, but you won’t be spared - hell, you were by a sheer stroke of luck - or, you go with him, and meet your makers. 
“You coming?” he asks you. 
Lucy squeezes your hand. Your vision goes hazy. Time is running out. A gunshot goes off. Lucy’s mother dies.
You feel hands on your arm as you are once again lifted up. Lucy is holding you. Even now, she’s gentle. 
You realise what you are then, to each other: an anchor.
Something pulling the other ashore. Making sure they don’t get lost in the madness of this world.
You feel a jab in your side. Another fucking stimpack. Christ you hope a dependance doesn’t follow with these.
You see the Ghoul again, “one for the road.”
You nod. To your surprise, so does he.
Lucy takes your hand.
“You ok?” she asks. You nod, feeling a bit stronger.
“Okey Dokey,” she says. This time, not as bright in tone. One that isn’t entirely flat either. More of relief, a tired relief. A want for rest. But also one that tells you she understands now. This world was dark and painful. There were few light spots in it for hope.
Her hand in yours, tells you she understood your own realisation. You are a bright spot in each other’s lives. A friend to always be there.
So, off you walk together. Her father was gone, in more ways than one. He had fled like a coward. She’d almost shot him. She wanted to.
Her family was now down to two members:
Norm - her little brother. The one she’d always protect.
And you - a sibling she found out here. One that would protect her just as much as she did you.
It wasn’t much. But it was something. 
It wasn’t all for nothing, coming up here. It wasn’t all for nothing, delivering that head.
A new world was coming through. It was fighting.
Now, it was the time for monsters. 
She was just glad you weren’t one of them.
22 notes · View notes
vnards · 2 days
Text
Bear!Price Pt 7
The lessons continue and the evening passes. You and Price going back and forth on different defensive techniques and vulnerable points in case attacking is the only option. By the end of the night, he’s confident you could take care of yourself if anything were to happen.
You both are breathing heavier after a few more sparring sessions before calling it a night. “You did well.” Price appraises. You smile. “Could I get you a cup of water?”
“Please.”
He walks to his front door, grabbing his keys on the way to unlock the door. By the time he’s found the right key, he feels the heat from your body behind him, waiting for him. He pauses, “I-I can bring it out here to you.”
“I was hoping I could take a seat for a moment?” You look up at him with those eyes and Price swallows any nerves that may be showing.
“O-Of course,” he allows you to step through his door first, holding his door like a gentleman. And to give him time to recover from the whiplash of you entering his space. His den.
John pushes through the thoughts of the beast coming forth. Mine. Water. Getting her water.
He continues his momentum to the kitchen, trying to stay on task. He robotically grabs a glass and gets you the filtered water in the fridge.
Price finds you look around his living room, the fireplace, that hasn’t been lit just yet, that sits under his television with a couch soft blankets. “I like your cottage. It’s cozy.” It’s yours.
John clears his throat as he offers you your drink. “Thanks.” He looks for something to say, anything. But yet, he just stands there, mouth flopping like a fish.
Luckily, your focus wasn’t on him. Simply the pieces of him that lay around. His hands find his pockets once more. The silence makes him antsy. He’s been under much more stressful situations that demanded him to sit and wait. But he can’t. Because it’s you.
“John,” He snaps his attention towards you, “I have a confession.” He waits with bated breath as he watches you place the glass on the side table. He finds his senses have snapped to attention as well, the bear lingering under the surface. He tries to remain calm. You sway towards him and he has to focus on keeping his feet planted. “I didn’t just come here for a lesson…”
You place your hand gently on his chest, right over his heart, as if you hadn’t stolen it already. You look up at him and he could swear he’s being put under your spell. Your scent so strong to him he could barely think about a response, “You didn’t?”
“Well, let’s just call it an appetizer.” You’re flirting with him. Messing with him in a way only you can do.
“An appetizer?” It seemed John could only do so much than repeat what your beautiful voice lilted to him. You stepped closer to him, your perfume, your scent, your arousal became prominent in his nostrils.
“I like you, John.” You admitted. His muscles tense. You offer your lips to him, “And I think you like me too.”
Mine.
His face is burning with heat as you toy with him. He forgets he needs control. He takes your lips, his arms wrapping around you to never let you step away. You taste just as sweet as he imagined. He’s about to bring his hands to gently touch your face before he notices his claws are out.
He uses his body to pin you against the wall, so he can hide from you. He takes a deep breath, trying to remember. By the time he gets himself together, he sees you looking up at him with those eyes of yours and he nearly croons for you, smitten, “You taste so sweet.” He admires longingly. He goes in for one more taste of you before he stops.
You look desperate for more, “You don’t know what you’re getting into you with me.”  He counters, needing an excuse to not ravage you right here, right now.
“I want to know”, you chirp. Former Special Agent Captain John Price nearly loses control of his beast.
John is careful to keep his paws off you, too worried about the last time he’s worn down his claws. He searched his brain for an excuse not to fuck you tonight.
His mind went blank again as you kiss him again, pressing your body against his. Your tits cushioning against his body that he could only describe as soft. His grunts are broken by a deep growl as he tries to remember not to touch everything you’re offering to him.
For some bloody reason…
“John,” You’re breathless against his lip, aching for his touch, “Please…”
Price always knew he was selfish. Territorial. He’s a born predator. It’s in his nature.
But you were not prey. You are not meek or shy.
Price will not devour you. He will savor you. But first, he has to find control within himself.
“Not this time,” He turns you down softly. He can see the barely there flinch, “I want to do it right, sweetie.” That catches your attention again in your lustful haze, pupils open. “Take you out on a few dates.” He leans down to kiss your cheeks, soft, “Spoil you,” his lips descend to your neck, “Tease you,” his teeth feel sharp when they nip at that soft flesh of skin.
It takes a moment for you to come back in your daze, something Price secretly takes pride in, but you relent, “Okay.”
John’s smile is genuine, more than pleased, “Thank you, Honey.”
<-previous part masterlist ->
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cloudybarnes · 7 months
Text
bad idea right?
Pairing: theodore nott x reader
Summary: after theo breaks up with you, he pledges to make things right and do anything necessary to win you back. however, you are determined to make him work if he wants to win you over again aka part two to new beginnings
Word Count: 2.3k
Masterlist
a/n: LONG AWAITED PART TWO WOOHOOOO also this could be read as a solo instead of a part two if you really wanted, but here's part one in case you wanna read that as well ;)
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✰  ✰  ✰
“Please don’t tell me you got back together with him!” Ginny groaned. She sat on the edge of your bed as Hermione braided your hair for the night. 
“No, I didn’t get back with him. I told him if he really wanted to prove it to me, then he could.” 
“So you’re thinking of getting back with him.” She said disapprovingly. Hermione chuckled from her seat in the bed behind you. She was working on doing dutch braids in your hair. 
“I think it’s fine, Gin,” Hermione said. “It’s not as if she’s going to jump back in bed with him.”
You waggled your eyebrows teasingly to Ginny. She gasped and swatted your shoulder. “That’s so not funny, (Y/N/N). Just because you think he’s sexy doesn’t mean you should get back with him.”
Theodore broke up with you very unexpectedly. He barely even had a reason for breaking up with you, which left you heartbroken and devastated. You were in bed for a few days, had a good cry, and then you were back. 
Theo had tried to mend the broken bond between your relationship, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to take him back that easily. Your ego was high, and you knew you would be kicking yourself if something like that happened again right when you took him back. 
“Don’t worry, Ginny. If he really wants me back, he’s gonna have to work for it. He knows that.”
“Alright,” Hermione said as she tied off the end of your hair. “All finished. Your hair’s gonna look so good tomorrow.”
“Theo better be drooling when you see him,” Ginny said, “if not, I’ll give him a different reason to drool.” She made a motion of punching her fists together, insinuating she would punch him in the mouth. 
You chuckled. “Hopefully there won’t be any blood drawn. I don’t think he’d really wanna go through all the trouble if it just got him a busted lip.”
“Oh no,” Ginny grinned, “it would be more than just a busted lip. I’ve got five brothers, I’m known to throw a mean punch or two.”
“Lights out girls!” The prefect yelled as she knocked on your bedroom door. 
Ginny rolled her eyes. “Alright, I’ll see you guys at breakfast. But for real, if Theo tries anything you know I’m right there for you.” 
You smiled, grateful to have a friend as awesome as her. “Yeah, Gin, I know. Thank you.” 
She smiled, “night guys.”
You two said your good nights as Hermione moved from your bed to her own. 
“What do you think he’ll do tomorrow?” You asked Hermione as she shut off the lights. You pulled the covers close to your body, waiting for her response. 
“I’m not sure,” she replied, getting comfy in her own bed. “Hopefully something sweet. He’s got a lot of making up to do if he wants to get back on our good side.”
You smiled softly, “yeah, you’re right. Night, ‘Mione.”
“Goodnight.”
✰  ✰  ✰
The next morning at breakfast, the owl dropped a letter in front of you.
“What’s that?” Ron asked, his mouth filled with food. 
Ginny slapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t talk with your mouth full. Honestly, you act like you were raised in a barn.”
“We were raised in the same house, you know.” He pointed. 
“What a shame that was,” she replied. 
You chuckled at their banter, and ripped open the seal on the letter. 
“What’s it say?” Hermione asked. 
You scanned over the words before you read them aloud. “It says,
(Y/N), 
I hope you know how much you mean to me. I was a fool to break things off with you. I only hope one day you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me. 
Forever yours,
Theo”.
“Forever yours?” Ginny squealed. “That is so romantic.” 
Hermione raised her brow quizzically. “Weren’t you the one telling her not to get back with him?”
Ginny rolled her eyes. “I can have mixed feelings about this. He breaks her heart but then he writes her a love letter. It’s got me confused, okay?” 
You chuckled. “I think it’s cute. It’s not gonna win me back, but it was an alright effort.”
“Oooh, what a burn,” Harry chuckled. “Poor bloke must’ve forgot how stubborn you are.”
You shook your head with a smile, “nah, he didn’t forget. If I know anything about Theo, he’s just getting started.”
“So, (Y/N/N),” Ron said, “do you want to get back with him or what’s going on with this?”
You shrugged. “I mean, obviously I still love him. It just sucks what he did and I don’t think he should be able to get off the hook that easily. He shouldn’t be forgiven for breaking my heart just because he writes a little letter.”
“I love you for that,” Ginny said as she nodded her head. 
“Hey, (Y/N/N).”
Looking behind you, you could see Enzo give a sheepish smile and a small wave. 
You grinned, “Hey Enzo, how are you? Sorry about yesterday, by the way, Theo’s a little crazy sometimes.”
He chuckled and awkwardly rubbed his hand through his hair. “Yeah, I’ve noticed. But, yeah, no, Theo and I are all good. He apologized last night and told me all about his plans to woo you.”
You chuckled with a roll of your eyes. “Go figure.” 
“Yeah,” he smiled, “anyway, I just wanted to come by and resume how we were before, you know, the whole break up thing, and drop off this book I think you’ll like.” 
Enzo pulls out a book from his satchel and hands it to you. 
“Coraline?” You asked as you flip it around and skim over the synopsis. 
“Yeah, it’s kind of spooky and psychological which I think you’ll really enjoy.”
You grinned up at him, “that’s perfect. Thank you, Enzo.” 
He sent a tight lipped smile, and nodded before turning away and walking back to the slytherin table. 
“I like Enzo,” Ginny said with a dreamy look on her face. 
You rolled your eyes with a smile. “Go get him then. He’s a sweetie.” 
“You guys and those Slytherin boys,” Ron shakes his head with a scoff. “Not even that cute, I’ll tell ya.”
“Oh, what?” Ginny asked sassily, “like you’re cute?”
“I think Ron’s cute,” Hermione winked at her boyfriend. 
“Ugh, barf,” Ginny said. 
The bell rang. You all stood to gather your things for first class. 
“We’ll see you guys later,” you smiled as Hermione and you walked out to your shared first class. 
“That was a pretty cute letter,” Hermione said as the two of you started walking down the hall. 
“Yeah, I think it was sweet, but like I said, he can’t win me back that eas-“
“Excuse me?” Someone tapped your shoulder. 
Stopping, you and Hermione turned to see a younger Slytherin boy, presumably a first year, standing before you. 
“Uh, yes?” You asked confused, “do you need help with something?”
“Um, Theodore says I have to carry your satchel and books for you.” The first year stood awkwardly. 
“Oh, uh, that’s okay, you really don’t have to.” You blushed, a little embarrassed that Theo would make a first year cater to you. 
“I have to.” He said adamantly. “Theodore said he’ll set me up with this hot girl I like if I carry your books for you.” 
Hermione snickered from next to you. You turned back to her, a bewildered smile on your face as you tried not to laugh.  
“Well,” you said as you handed the young boy your satchel. “I can’t be the one to stop your true love, now can I?”
The boy grinned as he held on to your satchel as well as his. 
“Theodore is crazy,” Hermione remarks as you continue walking to your next class. The boy followed behind the two of you all the way to your first period. 
As soon as your classroom came into view, you could see Theodore standing there with a bouquet of flowers in hand. He grinned a devilish thing as he saw you approach. 
“I’ll meet you in there,” Hermione said with a knowing smirk. 
You walked up to Theo. He was beautiful as ever, but even he knew that wouldn’t get him anywhere. 
“Hi (Y/N).” He smiled at you then turned to the kid. “I’ll take it from here. I’ll have my guys put in a good word with Maizy for you.”
The kid nodded his head and smiled as he ran off. 
Theo threw your satchel over his shoulder and held out the beautiful assortment of flowers towards you. “For you, to say I’m sorry for being a douchebag and an idiot and a stupid motherfucker. All in the words of Draco by the way. Never knew how much he liked us together.” 
You chuckled and grabbed the flowers out of Theo’s hand. “Thank you.”
He smiled and shoved his hands in his pockets. “So, have you thought about what I said yesterday?” 
You sighed. “Of course I’ve thought about it Theo. Just like I’ve thought about how much you broke my heart when you dumped me.”
“Okay, I deserved that.” 
You chuckled. “Yeah. Thank you for the flowers, Theo. And… I still care about you, I just need time to figure this all out. I can’t just forgive you that fast when you broke my heart, just  last week!”
Theo sighed, “I know. I know! Fuck! I know I fucked up, baby, but I am going to do everything I can to win you back. I’ll wait for you. I’ll wait as long as it takes, baby, I swear it to do. The boys are down my back yelling at me for how hard I screwed everything up. They think I’m stupid, and I think I’m stupid too for letting you go. I promise you, I will do everything it takes for you to trust me again, mi amore.”
Your eyes softened. Theo knew exactly how to make your heart soar. 
“Theo…” 
“No, baby,” he shook his head. “You take your time. I’m gonna be here whenever you decide if you want to forgive me or not. Hopefully you decide you do want to forgive me.” He chuckled awkwardly. 
You matched his awkward laugh. “Well, thanks again for the flowers. They’re very pretty.” 
Theo smiled and nodded before turning around and walking away. 
✰  ✰  ✰
Later that night, you sat in the library studying for your Herbology final. Ginny and Hermione offered to help you study, but you knew you’d be here too late to want to burden them. 
As you flipped through the pages of your herbology book, you tried your best to take down any notes that you thought would be important. 
Your stomach growled. 
“Knew that was inevitable.” 
When you looked up from your textbook, you could see Theo sheepishly smiling as he held two trays from the cafeteria. 
“What was?” You asked with a smile. You cleared some papers to make space for Theo to sit down. 
He grinned and placed the trays on the table as he took his seat next to you. 
“Knew you would forget to eat while you studied for this exam.” 
You chuckled and peered over to see what Theo brought you to eat. Ham, potatoes, and stuffing from the dining hall. 
“Thank you, Theo. That’s really sweet of you.” 
He slid a tray closer to you, and you eagerly picked up the provided fork and dug in. 
Theo chuckled as you scarfed down your food. “Pretty hungry?”
You nodded as you finished chewing. Theo smiled to himself and started to take a few bites of his potatoes. 
“You’re being awfully sweet to me, Theo.” 
“Haven't I always been sweet to you, darling?”
“Well, yes. But that was before.”
Theo sighed. “I know I screwed up royally. I’m trying to make up for my mistakes. I’m still the same boy I was just a few months ago. I had a lapse in judgment and that cost me the best thing in my life.”
You frowned. “Theo…”
“Don’t you miss me, (Y/N/N)?” Theo shifted to face you straight on. He nervously leaned forward on the table, staring into your eyes, waiting for your response. 
“…of course I miss you, Theo. How could I not? You’re everything to me, and I’m just so scared of something like that happening again.”
“(Y/N),” Theo started. He tentatively grabbed your hands in his. “I promise you, with everything in me, if you decide to take me back I will never hurt you or disappoint you ever again. You have my word mi amore.” 
You were conflicted. You miss Theo like crazy. You couldn’t help it. No matter what you said to your friends about him having to work hard for you, it tore you apart every time you saw him knowing you still weren’t together. You missed being his. 
“Okay,” you said. 
“Okay?” Theo’s face lit up. “You-you’re giving me another chance?”
“Yeah,” you softly smiled, “I miss my boy.”
Theo grinned and yanked you toward him, engulfing you in a hug—one you’ve been waiting days for. You missed him. You missed being held by him. 
You held around his neck tightly, scared to let go. You never realize how much you craved his touch when it was gone.  
Theo buried his face in your hair, breathing in your scent. “God, I’ve missed you.” 
You smiled and pulled back. Theo smiled back at you. Slowly, you leaned in and pressed your lips against his in a warm, longing kiss. Your hands rested on his cheeks, his on your waist as you kissed with all the love stored up between you. 
When he pulled away, Theo stayed close with his forehead rested against yours. “I promise you baby, I’m here for good.” 
“You better be.” 
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sunliv · 2 years
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watched the sonic movie again. crying screaming yelling etc
#THAT’S HIS DAD! THAT’S HIS MOM! THOSE ARE HIS PARENTS!!!!#HE’S GOT A BROTJER!!!!! HE’S GOT TWO BROTHERS!!!!!!#HE GOES SUPER!!! SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER#GOLDEN AND FLYING AND EVEN FASTER AND UNBEATABLE#PROJECT SHADOW!!!! FUCK!!!!!#SOMETHING UNDER ‘ROBOTNIK’ FROM 50 YEARS AGO!!!!!! A BLACKSITE!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!#ouguh and when Shadow’s legs start showing up while the dude’s like ‘my god…’ like SAME BRO#im so so so so so fucking excited for the third movie GOD wont 2024 come FASTER#but it’s ok! i’m a very patient girl! i can wait!!#thank you mystery skulls animated for teaching me patience <3#anyway im losing my mind over this what yall up to lol#this is always my reaction#i watvhed it on the living room and my mom sat there bc. bc. and then complains it when i watch it at my speed (rewatching the same scene 7#times) like oh im sorry YOU decided to sit here smh🙄 /lh#oh im so excited for the next movies#i’ve been thinking abt it what kind of stories they could make…#im imagining what games can be incorporated and whatnot#obv sa2 is gonna be in the 3rd movie yeah but like whqt else#they put 2 ans 3&k together and we’ve yet to see Amy i’m lowkey hoping they put cd in the next one! although metal would prolly make things#harder bc we cant have 2 sonic clones in the same movie right? and idk ig sa2 has plenty of story on its own but still! also Amy is VERY#important for Shadow’s turning point at the end of sa2 so she must show up righ???#i can see cd showing up too.. or at least a PART of cd… idk idk#then i thought abt since the next movie will be shadow when’s the THIRD s hedgehog show up right? do u think 06 will ever be adapted…….#they could use Elise??? maybe??? wouldn’t that be cool? no need for the kiss just a girl who has half a god inside her! no need for romance!#anyway. what abt unleashed. oh can you imagine the werehog????? please please plea#ok so i am DEF looking too much into it but Eggman DOES howl in this movie and comment on super sonic ‘you look good’ NOT ‘you look festive’#which COULD leave it open for unleashed stuff… idk idk i just like to dream skdnkfmf#liv.txt
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reasonsforhope · 6 months
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No paywall version here.
"Two and a half years ago, when I was asked to help write the most authoritative report on climate change in the United States, I hesitated...
In the end, I said yes, but reluctantly. Frankly, I was sick of admonishing people about how bad things could get. Scientists have raised the alarm over and over again, and still the temperature rises. Extreme events like heat waves, floods and droughts are becoming more severe and frequent, exactly as we predicted they would. We were proved right. It didn’t seem to matter.
Our report, which was released on Tuesday, contains more dire warnings. There are plenty of new reasons for despair. Thanks to recent scientific advances, we can now link climate change to specific extreme weather disasters, and we have a better understanding of how the feedback loops in the climate system can make warming even worse. We can also now more confidently forecast catastrophic outcomes if global emissions continue on their current trajectory.
But to me, the most surprising new finding in the Fifth National Climate Assessment is this: There has been genuine progress, too.
I’m used to mind-boggling numbers, and there are many of them in this report. Human beings have put about 1.6 trillion tons of carbon in the atmosphere since the Industrial Revolution — more than the weight of every living thing on Earth combined. But as we wrote the report, I learned other, even more mind-boggling numbers. In the last decade, the cost of wind energy has declined by 70 percent and solar has declined 90 percent. Renewables now make up 80 percent of new electricity generation capacity. Our country’s greenhouse gas emissions are falling, even as our G.D.P. and population grow.
In the report, we were tasked with projecting future climate change. We showed what the United States would look like if the world warms by 2 degrees Celsius. It wasn’t a pretty picture: more heat waves, more uncomfortably hot nights, more downpours, more droughts. If greenhouse emissions continue to rise, we could reach that point in the next couple of decades. If they fall a little, maybe we can stave it off until the middle of the century. But our findings also offered a glimmer of hope: If emissions fall dramatically, as the report suggested they could, we may never reach 2 degrees Celsius at all.
For the first time in my career, I felt something strange: optimism.
And that simple realization was enough to convince me that releasing yet another climate report was worthwhile.
Something has changed in the United States, and not just the climate. State, local and tribal governments all around the country have begun to take action. Some politicians now actually campaign on climate change, instead of ignoring or lying about it. Congress passed federal climate legislation — something I’d long regarded as impossible — in 2022 as we turned in the first draft.
[Note: She's talking about the Inflation Reduction Act and the Infrastructure Act, which despite the names were the two biggest climate packages passed in US history. And their passage in mid 2022 was a big turning point: that's when, for the first time in decades, a lot of scientists started looking at the numbers - esp the ones that would come from the IRA's funding - and said "Wait, holy shit, we have an actual chance."]
And while the report stresses the urgency of limiting warming to prevent terrible risks, it has a new message, too: We can do this. We now know how to make the dramatic emissions cuts we’d need to limit warming, and it’s very possible to do this in a way that’s sustainable, healthy and fair.
The conversation has moved on, and the role of scientists has changed. We’re not just warning of danger anymore. We’re showing the way to safety.
I was wrong about those previous reports: They did matter, after all. While climate scientists were warning the world of disaster, a small army of scientists, engineers, policymakers and others were getting to work. These first responders have helped move us toward our climate goals. Our warnings did their job.
To limit global warming, we need many more people to get on board... We need to reach those who haven’t yet been moved by our warnings. I’m not talking about the fossil fuel industry here; nor do I particularly care about winning over the small but noisy group of committed climate deniers. But I believe we can reach the many people whose eyes glaze over when they hear yet another dire warning or see another report like the one we just published.
The reason is that now, we have a better story to tell. The evidence is clear: Responding to climate change will not only create a better world for our children and grandchildren, but it will also make the world better for us right now.
Eliminating the sources of greenhouse gas emissions will make our air and water cleaner, our economy stronger and our quality of life better. It could save hundreds of thousands or even millions of lives across the country through air quality benefits alone. Using land more wisely can both limit climate change and protect biodiversity. Climate change most strongly affects communities that get a raw deal in our society: people with low incomes, people of color, children and the elderly. And climate action can be an opportunity to redress legacies of racism, neglect and injustice.
I could still tell you scary stories about a future ravaged by climate change, and they’d be true, at least on the trajectory we’re currently on. But it’s also true that we have a once-in-human-history chance not only to prevent the worst effects but also to make the world better right now. It would be a shame to squander this opportunity. So I don’t just want to talk about the problems anymore. I want to talk about the solutions. Consider this your last warning from me."
-via New York Times. Opinion essay by leading climate scientist Kate Marvel. November 18, 2023.
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luveline · 6 months
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𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 | 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐮𝐬 𝐥𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐧
remus’ touch after a long night prompts a tired confession (and a slew of clumsy kisses). 
requested here. modern au. fem!reader, 3.6k.
˚‧꒰ა ✮ ໒꒱‧˚
“I'm going to bed,” Sirius mumbles, scratching at his eyes as he gets up. “Don't let her sleep in her makeup. She'll get an eye infection.” 
Your eyes are getting sore, but it's hardly Remus' responsibility to make sure you wash your face tonight, nor Sirius’ to remind you. “I'm a big girl.” 
Sirius sends you a smile, ignoring your chiding. “Goodnight, my loves,” he says, waving you both away as he heads out of the living room and up the stairs. 
“Notice how he didn't do his dishes?” Remus asks, shifting beside you. 
He's sitting as he tends to, slouched in a way that can't be good for his back in the long run but is clearly comfortable short term. His chin is on his chest, his legs kicked out under the coffee table, which is decorated by the casualties of the night. Sirius’ dinner plate, Remus’ mug, James’ rarely used handheld console. He'd been playing a cutesy farming sim before he said goodnight an hour ago. Sirius stayed to mess with James’ crops and eat a late supper. You're surprised it took him as long as it did to admit defeat. 
“What time is it?” you ask. 
You're laying on the sofa with your socked feet tucked behind Remus’ back, of which he's yet to complain. His elbow brushes your shin as he brings up his arm. “Nearly one in the morning, now,” he reads from his watch. “Let's go to bed too, yeah?” 
“I don't want to.” You turn your face into the pillow behind your neck.
“Me neither,” Remus says, dropping his hand on your knee.
You watch another twenty minutes of TV together failing to summon the energy to stand, but the want for a glass of water grows too big. Your head throbs as you get up, offering your hands to the pretzel that is your favourite housemate.
Remus turns off the TV and lights. You lock the front door. He carries the dirty dishes to the kitchen and you fill up two glasses of water to take with you. It's all so… regular. A routine you share nearly every night, only to climb into your two separate beds. 
He ushers you out of the kitchen and down the hallway with his hand behind your shoulders, his touch a phantom as you ascend the stairs.
You're silent beside the creak of the old wood, too tired to speak. Remus is similarly quiet, though he does whisper, “Watch,” when you nearly kick the box of Halloween decorations waiting to be taken up into the attic. 
You leave your water on the towel box in the alcove and dance around one another in the bathroom. Sirius’ toothbrush lays on the sink still wet, but otherwise there's no signs of him. 
You're feeling very, very tired. You hadn't realised how bad it was until you're putting your toothbrush in your mouth, leant up against the window sill, a slot of cold air seeping in from the dark outside. Your eyes shutter closed. The scrubbing sound of Remus brushing his teeth is almost lulling. 
He swills out his mouth and washes his brush. “Here,” he says gently. You open your eyes just enough to see him beckoning you forward. “Dove, your necklace.” 
“Oh. Thanks.” You turn your back to him. 
His fingers are damp and cool on your skin as he unclasps your necklace. He often takes it off for you. It's one of the things you'll miss when you guys aren't living together anymore, the slow meander to his bedroom, the wood of his door jam on your cheek as you lean against it and give him a hopeful smile. Sometimes he's awake, reading a novel on his side in bed or listening to music at his desk, other times he's sleeping. On those occasions you spend too long lingering, stolen seconds spent staring at the rise and fall of his shoulder. 
“Thank you,” you say as he puts your necklace in the jewellery dish. It comes out missing vowels, lips stuck together as though honeyed. 
You spit pathetically in the sink, rinse your brush, and consider sitting down. “I'm tired,” you whine, wiping your lips. 
“I know,” Remus says, giving you a fond nudge. “Just wash your face and get on with it.” 
“You first. I'm going to nap standing up for a bit.” 
He puts as much of his hair behind his ears as he can and turns on the tap. This is just as familiar as brushing your teeth together. It's not quite as bad as watching James Perfect Skin Potter wash his face with bar soap, but you have to admit that Remus’ eight-nine pence face soap hurts your heart. He washes it off, pats his face dry, and takes the small bottle of bio oil out of the medicine cabinet to pipette onto his pinky finger. “Wash your face,” he says, smoothing the oil into his scars one by one. 
You shake your head. “M'gonna do it in the morning.” 
“That's why your eye was swollen a few weeks ago. You know yourself you won't.” 
“I might,” you say, letting out a big breath as you rub your sore eyes even sorer, “I'm too tired.” 
“Can you sit up, at least?” 
“No.” Remus takes you by the shoulders and forces you to sit on the edge of the bath. “Aggressive?” 
“Don't fall in,” he says, cupping your cheek briefly as if to make sure you've heard. 
You are hearing him, seeing him, even feeling the immensity of his touch, but you're tired, and you know you can let yourself relax completely with him. You'd be the same with James or Sirius, though neither of them could have your head feeling so dizzyingly light from a single touch as Remus can. You probably wouldn't let them persuade you into this, either, tilting your head back to watch through blurry vision as Remus soaks a cotton round in your facial oil. 
“Close your eyes,” he says. 
“Was that a dracula impression?” 
“I command you.” 
You close your eyes. The queasy feeling of oil drags against your lids as Remus wipes them, loosening the stiff tubes of mascara that coat your lashes. It's not a short process because he's very, very gentle, holding your face delicately as though you're a flower in need of coddling, and him the sun. It's the only metaphor that would ever make sense for you and Remus; he's like the sun even if it goes against every statement he's ever made about himself, or anyone else has, for that matter. People think he's a moody, sarcastic boy, and he is, but he's also a vestibule of sweetness, softness, and warmth. The kind of heat you'd only ever feel kissing your skin under the summer sun. But more than that, he's the relief that follows when the clouds come out. 
And his hands are all over you. Your head gets heavier by the minute, eased into dozing by his touch and quiet tones. “We're almost done. I'm gonna have to carry you to bed at this rate.” 
“I'm going to miss this so much one day,” you say. It's easier to admit when you're not looking at him. 
Remus turns on the tap. Hot water runs, you can tell by the sound as strange as it seems, and he wrings the dirtied cotton round before replacing it with a new one. He wets it, bringing it just that touch too hot to your cheeks to wipe you down. “What are you going to miss, dove?” 
“Us. You. I'm going to miss you.” 
“Where are you going?” 
“Nowhere, but one day I will be. James will finally have had enough of us and I'll,” —you swallow around nothing as a rivulet of water runs down your cheek, a cooling tear from the cotton round— “have to move out and we'll never see each other anymore.” 
“Don't be silly, you're not going anywhere.” 
“It's not about the going,” you murmur, peeling your eyes open tentatively as his dabbing follows down your cheek to your neck. “I miss you sometimes and we still live together. I can't imagine how much I'll miss you…” 
Remus puts the cotton round aside. He takes your face into his hand, and suddenly his touch feels raw, nothing like it had moments ago. Because Remus would wash your makeup off for you any day of the week, but his looking at you like this, so unshielded and unabashed, is a rarity. 
“You won't have to miss me. Even if we did move away from each other, I wouldn't let it be that far.” 
“Friends move away all the time. We don't speak to half the people we knew at school.” 
“I only really knew you and the boys,” he says. It isn't true but it is at the same time. Together, you'd been a happy lot, but your current housemates are the ones you'd known. “And see? We're still together.” 
“But for how long?” you ask. 
Remus brings his second hand, holding your face entirely. He covers your cheeks, index fingers sliding slowly under your ears. He's exceedingly gentle, and his eyes are soft. He holds you like you're made of glass, like you could break under a hint of pressure. Slowly, he tilts his head to the side as though he might lean in for a kiss. Maybe he doesn't know he's doing it, but Remus is a very purposeful soul. He'd do much worse to wind you up if you wanted him to. 
You sober up. It's like he has caffeine in his palms. 
“You want to go where I'm going, is that it?” he asks quietly. 
“Yeah,” you say, barely say, voice shame-facedly weak. Is he asking what you think he is?
“Do you want to start now?” 
You breathe out as one of his hands shifts down your jaw. “Yeah, I… I want to start now.” 
“Okay, dove. Then close your eyes again.” 
You hold his gaze for a second that feels infinitely long and short at once, your heart racing. Clarity has returned, a thrust into wakefulness even if your fatigue ties knots around your ankles. You look at him in his late night glory, his scars shining a pink-white like the petals of a young peony flower, and you know it's happening now. 
You shut your eyes. 
He steps closer, though the bath you're perched on is low, and he has to bend a considerable amount to reach you. The weight of his hands on you doesn't change, not even as he grows near enough to sense the heat of his breath against your lips. It's his nose that makes first contact as it slides against yours, and then his forehead presses down into you, his lips noticeably absent. Each contiguity between you thrums. 
A pit opens in your chest, cleaved by his voice as he says, “I'm going to kiss you, okay? S'that what you want?” 
Your hands don't feel like your own. Under the sickening nervousness twining its way through your ribs, you're excited. You're smiling, your voice shaped by it. “Yeah. It's what I want,” you say. 
“Good. It's what I've wanted for a while–” while pressed into your lips, all shaken up by an emotion you've never heard him speak with. He kisses you and you're frozen, and he waits and waits and pulls away to push back in. You remember yourself then, responding to his wading with some pressure of your own. Sparked back to life. 
It's so strange. It doesn't feel real. Remus Lupin kisses you heated and hard for just long enough to feel it in your teeth before he pulls away. “Sorry,” he murmurs, his fingertip running down your cheek, following that same path as your earlier rivulet. To think he saw it, really saw it, locked it away to remember and trace into your skin now… maybe he's seen much more of you than you realised all along. 
“Will you do it again?” you say under your breath. 
Remus must hear the thread of insecurity running through your question; you're afraid he'll say no, but he strokes your cheek again with that unfathomable softness and says, “Yeah, dove, of course I will.” 
“Do you want to?” 
And that's less insecurity and more selfishness, wanting the confession. He hears that, too. 
“I want to kiss you more than I've ever wanted anything,” he says, eye to eye with you, your head tipped up and your heart in your throat, twitching and fizzling like a firecracker. “Yeah? And all that missing me you've been doing? All your worrying? You don't need to do that. You've never needed to do that–” 
“I just never thought you liked me like that.” You and Remus aren't new to one another. “You've been the same since the day we met.” 
Remus’ hands get a little more solid where he's holding you. “Dove. Dove, are you mad?” 
“Remus–” 
“Maybe I have been the same, but did you really not notice that I–” He squeezes your cheeks playfully, almost in disbelief. “If you want me, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere without you. You're not going anywhere without me.” 
“So you like me?” 
“Yes,” he says, his eyebrows pinched together at the starts. “Of course I do.” He laughs. “That's what I'm trying to tell you.” 
“Oh,” you say, lifting your head. 
Remus shuts his eyes a millisecond before you shut your own and kisses you again. The second round is softer, his smile to yours and struggling to find purchase. His breath huffs out in a minty laugh, shockwaves through your mouth. 
“Stop laughing,” he breathes, his hands falling to your neck, your shoulders.
“You first.” 
Your lips part under his, a split-second of contact. He yanks away before things can get too heavy, and you're glad he does, but for a moment you feel the loss like a wave of vertigo. 
“Sorry, I'm going too fast, and you're tired.” His touch is ticklish behind your shoulder. 
“It's okay. Maybe it is a bit fast, but I'm not tired anymore,” you confess. 
Remus hugs you, cementing every feeling for him you have as he wraps his arms around you from over your shoulders, a deft hand cupped behind your neck. “That's not true. I can feel your back shaking. Let's go to bed.” 
“After that?” 
“What, are you worried it won't have happened in the morning?” he asks genuinely. 
You go limp in his arms as he takes your weight against his chest. Not worried, but rather not sure you can be away from him so soon. You ask him in a whisper if you can come and sit with him, not to sleep with him, not to do anything else, and he whispers back, Anything you want. You both entertain the lie that you won't fall asleep in his bed. 
Remus tenses as he hears the scuffling sounds of movement downstairs. It takes a train of thought awakening for him to realise it's only James, rising early as usual to put on a load of washing and prepare bits for lunch before he goes off for training. He can see him in his mind's eye if he tries, his friend dressed in the red and white rugby uniform, green socks up over his calves and white cleats scrubbed pristine for another ruck in the mud. 
Remus’ relaxes, stretching out in bed until his hand bumps into something rigid. 
He flinches. 
You're laying on the mattress beside him, your head slipped off of the pillows and your arm tucked beneath you. It doesn't look comfortable, and if it were any other morning he'd pull it straight for you, but. 
I kissed you, he thinks to himself, as though talking to you. He turns away from you until his back clicks and alleviates the ache in his hips, though he has to settle eventually, back on his back, no way of ignoring you. He doesn't want to ignore you. The opposite —why are you so far away? Can he hold you? 
What are the rules here? 
Kissing… not dating… You're here in his bed, you'd asked to stay. 
He takes your hand and pulls at your arm. Still sleeping, you mumble and move onto your back, releasing the pressure on your shoulder as he pulls you toward his chest. Your face is impassive, lax in sleep. 
He should let you sleep. 
“Dove,” he says, stroking up the length of your arm. 
“Mm?” you hum. 
“I need to ask you something.” 
You twitch awake with a small cough. Your eyes are red with a lack of sleep as you open them, blinking, and he wishes stupidly that he could make it better. He makes a sympathetic sound for want of more to do. 
“Why have you woken me up?” you ask, blinking at him. You gather that there's nothing urgent happening and push your face into his shoulder, practically nuzzling him. “It's Saturday.” 
“I just need to ask you something.” 
“So ask me,” you encourage through your sleepiness. 
The washing machine whirs downstairs. It’s an old machine that you often joke is taking off into orbit during the final spin, loud as anything. He can barely hear your sluggish breathing underneath it, but he can't miss the catch in it after he asks, “Can I be your boyfriend?” 
It's not the catch he's expecting. You laugh and readjust, wrapping your arms around him from the side and kissing the side of his neck clumsily. “Y'u asked me last night,” you say in a borderless run-on, sounding about as dopily in love as he's ever heard you. 
He thinks about it. Yes, he did, after he'd kissed you many more times than he should've and curled up in bed with you, hands held loosely beneath the blankets. He remembers the question, the answer. The last kiss that followed, and you falling asleep beside him. 
“I need a coffee,” he says, encouraging your head back so he can kiss your temple. 
“No, you need to sleep more with me. And maybe kiss me again. If you want to.” 
Sleeping isn't half as interesting as kissing you. He slots his nose against yours and languishes in the feeling of your lips, wondering if he's having a false start. He could still be dreaming. It would make sense. 
The door clatters open with a curse. James stands in the doorway with a folded pile of Remus' washing from the radiators in his arms, an apology on his lips, “Sorry, mate, the door got away from– oh my god. Oh my god?” 
Remus isn't an overly shy guy but he can't deal with this. “For fuck's sake,” he mutters, dropping his face into your shoulder. Your arm wraps under his neck, fingers splayed across his cheek. 
“James–” you begin, resigned to your fate. 
“This is flat-cest. This is the cardinal sin.” 
“We don't live in a flat,” Remus says. 
“That makes it worse. You can't even blame close quarters.” Remus peeks up to watch James in the doorway, still clinging to Remus’ washing, pure shock curdling his features. He shakes his head. “I'm telling Sirius.” 
“Please don't!” you say.
You slump back into the pillows as James leaves anyways. 
Remus hugs your soft abdomen. “Don't worry,” he says.
“I guess it's a good thing you've already asked me out,” you say. 
“Why, what can they do?” Remus asks, wondering if he's allowed to put his face on your chest or if that's too forward. You rake a hand through his hair and encourage him forward, to his delight. 
Frantic words. You and Remus loved up in bed despite it. 
“I'm chucking them out!” 
“James, they've been seeing for weeks. Can I go back to sleep?” 
“What?!” 
You grumble into his hair. “That's not even true… Does everyone know, then? That I liked you?” 
Remus thinks of the shadow of you in the doorway, that sheepish smile you send his way before you ask him to unclasp your necklace before bed, or your face as he’d wiped the sooty stain of mascara from your cheek last night, half in love with him as you fell asleep in his palm. 
“I don't think so, lovely,” he comforts. “Don't worry about it. We'll clear it up at lunch time. James isn't even mad, he's just sulking thinking we didn't tell him.”
“How could you not tell me?” James asks on cue, rounding the door again, arms ever tighter around the bundle of Remus’ clothes. He assumes it's being kept hostage. “I thought we were best mates.” 
“James,” you say softly, all sympathy. 
Remus likes the feeling of your voice under his ear, and your slightly too-quick heartbeat. He could fall asleep here and now if it weren't for the company. 
“It's new,” you're saying, softness melded to a sweet pride. “Okay? I've barely told Remus how I feel, of course I was going to tell you. We were only talking about it last night. It really hasn't been weeks, Sirius is a stirrer.” 
Remus pulls the covers up over your heads and climbs on top of you in a rush, demanding that the both of you be left alone, to James’ great annoyance but your delight, your laughter loud in the shell of his ear. Your chest shakes with it beneath him. 
A great wad of fabric hits him in the legs. “Twats,” James says, seemingly stalking off. 
Your whisper sends shivers down his spine. “We're alone again. Do you have anything else to ask me while you're too tired to remember?” you tease. 
There's not a chance in the world that Remus would ever forget this. 
˚‧꒰ა ✮ ໒꒱‧˚
thanks for reading!! I really hope you enjoyed, it's been a little bit since I wrote for remus like this so I was actually a bit nervous and I hope it's okay :D &lt;3
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ramonathinks · 2 months
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— LIVE NOW, THINK LATER (NANAMI K.)
warning: (18+) infidelity, car sex, creampie, small feelings (lolll).
“You look beautiful.” A familiar voice startled you. He couldn’t believe his eyes really, your beautiful skin glowing and your eyes twinkling.
“Oh, Kento! I didn’t think you’d make it,” You moved into his arms and he held you tightly, his fingers dancing across your waist.
You pulled away and smiled at him. He chuckled, “Wouldn’t have missed it.” But he wish he did. He hated how this tortured him and wound him up. He hated watching you be in love with someone else.
“I got you something.” He whispered, his fingers playing in your hair. He tried to remember to keep his distance. He could already hear the whispers around him, women judging and asking if you had “any sense at all” or decorum, to be with any other man than your husband right now.
Your husband who was too busy drinking and laughing with his friends to notice. But the women didn’t say anything about that.
“Oh really?” You asked, quirking a brow. “Lemme see it!” You jumped and clapped your hands so excited.
“I’ll have to take you away…” He licked his lips and did a devilish smile. He held up his index finger and walked towards your husband. “Mind if I take her away from you? No more than twenty minutes…” He asked, his tone annoyed as he looked at the man who just married you.
He waved Nanami off and continued back to his conversations. Nanami wanted to hurt him. He wouldn’t have let you go anywhere without him tonight. He wouldn’t have left you alone tonight.
He grabbed your hand and he whisked you away from it all. He took you to his car and looked around, making sure it was nobody near you both. He helped you inside, picking up the bottom of your long white wedding dress and carefully putting it inside.
“Why couldn’t you just wait for me? Huh?” He hated this. “I promised you and—“
“You promised me for years, Kento. Work was always a priority for you. I was tired of being second place.” Your words stung and he knew that it was true but he always figured that you’d stay. When you left he assumed you just needed some space, when you got a boyfriend he reassured himself that you’d come back…but when he saw the wedding invitations and even received one in the mail… he knew that he lost you.
He stared into your pretty eyes and caressed your cheek, “Why did you invite me then? Pity? I can already see how your life is going to be. Married for a year, pregnant with an inattentive husband who’ll fuck his co-worker more than he fucks you. He doesn’t even look at you and those vows of his? The embarrassment on your face told it all. You don’t love him…not how you loved me.”
You swallowed, “Kento… let’s not do this, here.” Your hands were shaky and your palms sweating. “You said you have a gift for me?”
He paused, thinking momentarily. Popping open the glove department and reaching inside, he presented a rectangular blue box with a scarlet red ribbon on top. “For you, I hope you like it.”
He heard you gasp, “A Tiffany tennis bracelet?” Your eyes were wide. “Do you know how expensive these are? Well — of course you do, you bought this one.” You did an awkward chuckle.
He already knew you would ask, when he saw your mouth open. “It was seventy-thousand dollars. I saw it, thought you’d like it and that was that. It’s the least I could do for you, baby.”
“Seventy— Are you insane? It’s beautiful but for that amount? I… you could’ve bought a house or… gosh… I barely even spent fifty thousand on this wedding.”
“Oh, so you really settled.” He muttered and to his surprise you laughed.
“I did.” You agreed with a strained smile and a sad look in your eyes. “Thank you for this… it’s so beautiful and I do love it, I always loved their stuff and I always hated that I left all my jewelry behind, all those years ago.” You released a heavy sigh.
“I still have ‘em. Could drop them off one day, maybe. Or… you could come and get them.” He said and you looked at him with narrowed eyes. He held his hands up in surrender, “No funny business.”
“Yeah right. I already know you brought me out here to try to fuck me.” He coughed in surprise at your words. “A present, really? That you had to take me all the way out here and not give me in front of everyone?”
“I didn’t want to embarrass your husband. That’s all. Nothing more. Honest.” He moved his hands to cover his hardening cock. “But… how’s the sex?”
“You’re that curious? I already told you I settled and you already know there’s nobody better than you.” You looked at him with heavy-lidded hazy eyes, your voice soft as silk.
He swallowed. “Divorce him and I’ll give you the wedding you deserve. I’d spend double the amount of that bracelet on you. You deserve the best, baby. I work and work because I didn’t ever want you to be comfortable living a simple life when I could give you more. I love you and there’s no one like you.” He took your hand and pressed it to his chest. “This has always been yours, it has your name on it and it forever will.”
You kissed him, it was too hot in his car to think about anything. You didn’t care that you were still in your wedding dress or that someone could see you. You just wanted him. He reached forward and put a tightening hand on your waist, pulling you closer and deepening the kiss.
His tongue sucked on yours and swirled inside. Your nails digging into his hair as you pulled him closer towards you. “I want it.” You whispered against his lips, kissing the side of his neck and licking a long stripe up. “Let’s go.” You motioned towards the back and he smiled.
Crawling to the backseat and he palmed your ass. “Naughty, naughty.” You giggled, drunk off something. Drunk off Nanami Kento. He joined you in the back, you pulled at his tie and he happily sighed.
Unbuttoning his pants before he began bunching up your dress, he slid down the thin panties you were and looked between your legs. “This for me?” He looked at you, his dark brown eyes full of pure lust. You were soaked, wetness covering your thighs and your lips stuck together with glossy strings of your essence. You nodded, unable to speak and he kissed you again. It felt like before, when you both started dating and how soft he always was with you.
He inhaled, your smell all over the place and he loved every second of it.
“Does he know that you like to be touched, right here? Or right there?” His fingers were simply dancing across your lower body, working you up just from small touches, but he wouldn’t slip them inside, much to your frustration. Your hips thrusts up a bit, begging for more before all of the warmth of his fingers pulled away.
He slid his pants and boxers down, staring at your soaked folds. His cock had a thick bunch of hair that was lightly trimmed and it looked prettier than you ever seen it, with creamy white precum gushing out of the tip.
He slid a hand down after gathering the small amounts of leaking precum, the lewd sounds of him jerking himself off filled the car and made you whine. “Please, hurry up.” Spreading yourself more so that he can see the cream between your folds drip to his seat. He muttered something quietly and pulled your dress up more, rubbing his cock up and down your slit, both of you hissing and gasping.
Your nails were digging into his forearm when he finally slipped inside of you, he groaned close to your mouth. You huffed, wrapping your legs around his, wanting him to fully be inside of you. When both of your pelvis’s were touching, hips flushed together. He felt you squeeze around him and more of your wetness squirted out of your pussy when he snapped his hips in a solid thrust.
“Does he know your body like me?” Even though you told him earlier, he wanted to know while he was pounding into you, holding up the sides of your wedding dress. His hips were moving dangerously fast now, making your titties bounce. Foreheads touching and his cock filling you up, your eyes rolled back.
“No, he—ah— he doesn’t. Never even made me cum.”
“Oh, so I have to make up for that, don’t I, baby?” He drags his cock in and out of you, the loud sounds of slapping skin made him even harder as he looked at your fucked out expression. Your legs were already shaking, so he added pressure by rubbing your clit in small circles. Tightening around him yet again and he smiled, “That’s my girl.” You rolled your hips, trying to push yourself even closer to your orgasm.
“Look at me. Remember who’s fucking you and who’s making you feel this good, right now. Got that?” He whispered in your ear, biting it playfully.
You felt so good around him, closer to heaven and he knew for this moment with him fucking you right now, he was dragging you closer to hell. Be he couldn’t care less, your tiny cunt creaming around him, your back arching and your toes squeezing.
Your pussy constricts around him and a stream of your cum drips down between the both of you. But Nanami doesn’t stop; he rolls his hips again and fucks more of that creamy wetness out of you. He presses your stomach and you squirm. “I’m gonna come inside of you, ‘kay?” You can’t talk anymore so you just moan and sigh, nodding your head.
Both of your hips bucking, grinding into each other’s pelvis’s, he cums. It’s heavy and you spasm around him, sucking him deeper inside and he shutters. “You feel so fucking good. Could do this all night baby.” He slipped out for a moment, looking at his cum soaked half hard cock, before he pushed back in. You gasped, pushing him back a bit to no avail.
“You love me don’t you, baby?”
“Always, Kento.”
no part two.
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confessedlyfannish · 7 months
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DP x DC Writing Prompt #5
Damian does not glance back at Bruce when he knocks on the door. Instead they both wait in silence.
After a moment, the door opens.
"Hello," Jasmine, Jazz, Fenton greets politely, unsurprised to find the Waynes on her doorstep. Damian's expression grows ever darker at this revelation.
"Hello Ms. Fenton, are your parents home?" Bruce asks, placing a firm hand on Damian's shoulder, to ground as much as to restrain. To his credit he does not shake it off.
"No, they're out of town for a conference," the eighteen year-old says, opening the door wider. "But I think you'd better come in."
Bruce would normally decline, but Ms. Fenton is a legal adult and he has already, even unknowingly, waited 16 years. Damian makes the choice for him, striding past the threshold.
"Please take a seat," Jazz says as she leads them to the living room. She ignores Damian's swinging head as he takes in the home. It is deceptively large, a 90s style house filled with modern furniture. The walls are bright, with purple and green accents that would normally feel garish but somehow work. The stairs leading to the second floor are lined with family photos that Bruce yearns to take a closer look at. "Can I get you anything? Coffee? Water?"
"No, that's alright, thank you," Bruce says, taking a seat on the long plush couch. A men's windbreaker lies haphazardly thrown across one of the arms. A closed container of Oreo cookies sit on the coffee table next to a physics textbook open to chapter 16, half covered in highlighter and filled with sticky notes. There's a child's painting framed next to the tv, a handprint made to look like a thanksgiving turkey in bright blue.
For the home of experimental scientists, it is cozy and well lived-in.
Damian repeatedly glances at the stairs through the doorway.
Bruce clears his throat. "We were hoping to--"
"I've texted--oh, I'm sorry," Jazz says, having spoken at the same time. Bruce gestures for her to go on.
"I've contacted Danny, he should be here soon. He was out with some friends." Jazz explains. As she hadn't pulled out a phone in their presence, Bruce can only deduce they have some sort of camera at their front door. This also explains Ms. Fenton's complete lack of surprise at their appearance.
"So you know who we are." Damian says, the first words he's spoken since they arrived at the house and the longest sentence he's spoken since they arrived in Amity Park.
"I do," Jazz says, calm in the face of Damian's clearly simmering anger. Bruce trusts him not to attack Ms. Fenton, but he still watches him carefully.
"He told you about me," Damian says. It is the same question, but it is also not.
"He did," Jazz says.
Damian swallows. "I see," he grits out.
Jazz's neutrality slips and her face softens in sympathy. "Damian," she starts hesitantly, but before she can say anything else the front door opens.
A moment later Bruce's son walks through the doorway, and Damian is on him.
This is what Bruce hoped to prevent, but despite his numerous checks of Damian's luggage his son has still managed to smuggle a small dagger, which he now produces and swings in a calculated arc at Daniel Fenton's jugular.
Danny dodges cleanly, and dodges every swipe thereafter in a manner that speaks to continued practice long after his time at the League. Damian is a perfect product of his training, but it is up against Danny his flaws come to light. He is just as good as he always was, but Danny is better.
In a matter of seconds Damian grows frustrated and sloppy in his attacks, completely atypical for him. Danny takes Damian out at the knees and pins him down with one arm, pressing his face into the carpet.
"Calm down," he orders. His voice is deeper than Damian's at sixteen to his twelve, the accent that still traces Damian's words completely gone from his speech. Damian growls and thrusts his head back into Danny's face, meeting it with a sharp thunk. He rolls up as Danny recoils, putting distance between them. Danny glares at him from several steps away, hand to his forehead. Damian tosses the dagger into his other hand as he charges, and to Bruce's surprise Danny does nothing more than turn his face to the side, allowing Damian to draw a sharp line down his cheek.
Damian stops dead in his tracks.
"Are you done?" Danny asks, blood beginning to pool at the seam of the cut.
Damian's expression is stricken, eyes stuck on the blood starting to drip down his brother's face.
"I said, are you done, Damian?" Danny asks. His voice is cold.
Damian hears him this time, and he flushes red. "I--you--"
Danny sighs. He looks at Jazz, whose expression is back to carefully controlled.
"Are you alright?" he asks her. She nods.
"You left me," Damian accuses, standing there holding his bloody dagger limply.
Danny turns back to him, raising an eyebrow.
"You left me," Damian repeats louder, rapidly blinking.
"Yes. I did." Danny provides no excuse nor any explanation. His stance is unyielding.
Damian's eyes bounce wildly, shifting to Jazz and Danny slides smoothly in front of her, protectively. He looks at Damian warily, not as if he is his brother, but as if he is a danger. Damian flinches.
Hope is the last to die, Bruce thinks, watching as that last bit of hope Damian had is extinguished, the knowledge working its way through every inch of his body like ice in his veins. His eyes darken. He turns and runs from the room, the front door slamming shut not a moment later.
Jazz stands up, pulling a few tissues from the box on the coffee table. She presses them to Danny's face, cupping his cheek until he holds it himself. "I'm going to go get the first aid kit," she says gently. It is a thinly veiled excuse to leave them alone, and Bruce is grateful for it as she heads for the stairs.
They both wait until her footsteps have faded, taking each other in. Bruce looks at his mother's eyes and the sharp turn of Talia's nose. Damian's everything, four years older.
"You shouldn't have come here," Danny says, throwing himself on the armchair Jazz has just vacated.
"You know who I am," Bruce says carefully.
Danny glares. "I've kept your secret. She nor my parents know."
"I know," Bruce says. "That's not what I meant. You know who I am. And who I pretend to be. So you know I am familiar with masks."
"And?" Danny asks, looking vaguely bored.
"And so I can recognize when someone is wearing one. Damian will too, once he's calmed down."
Danny's expression sharpens. "No, he won't. Because you are going to go to back to whatever bed and breakfast you're staying in, pack up, hop in your private jet and fly him back to Gotham immediately before the League realizes you've gone. If they haven't already," he mutters.
"This is about the League then," Bruce says. "Do you not believe I can protect you?"
"I don't need your protection," Danny snaps, and watches Bruce actively extrapolate with a dawning resignation. "So this is the World's Greatest Detective at work," he says, slumping bonelessly into his chair, the first teenager-y thing he's done.
"Damian's in danger from the League," Bruce says. Danny glares from his slump. It's almost cute. "And as long as the League doesn't know about you, he's safe."
"Draw your own conclusions," Danny says, baring his teeth. Damian often makes the same face. "As long as you leave."
"I can protect him. I can protect you both," Bruce says. "Let me help you."
Danny closes his eyes. He centers his breathing in an exercise someone has clearly walked him through in the past. Bruce would bet money on the adoptive sister waiting patiently upstairs.
"Mr. Wayne. You are not my father," he says. "My trust in you extends to the point that I left Damian in your care, but that is where it ends. And that was when it was sanctioned by the League. By coming here you have endangered those sanctions."
Bruce disregards the sting, doubling down on his analysis. Talia had left Damian with Bruce well after Danny had left the League. But Danny speaks as if the decision had been his.
Or perhaps, Bruce realizes, it is not that Danny decided upon it, but that Danny allowed it to continue.
Bruce takes a second to review what Oracle had gone over with him before they left for Amity. Daniel Fenton had by all accounts, since leaving the League, lived a fairly normal life. His adoptive parents were eccentric scientists dabbling in the occult but their findings that bordered pseudoscience circulated a very niche community of like-minded eccentrics. The bulk of their income came from alternative energy, a more viable source of study that they'd veered harder into in the past year or so, a government contract with the EPA currently in the works. This had in part funded a vacation to an all-inclusive resort the family had taken that past summer.
Danny received average grades in school, above average in science and mathematics, declining sharply in his freshman year and sophomore year before evening out around the second semester. He had gotten into fights repeatedly with one student in particular, suspended for two weeks following an incident that resulted in a the student receiving a black eye. Teachers reported him to be highly intelligent but distracted and removed. They had recommended he be evaluated for an attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. He had no social media. He had missed multiple picture days. The ones he had attended he was sneezing, or a blur of movement, even going so far as to fall off his stool, legs flailing. Bruce had drank up every last one as Barbara had waited patiently.
A normal life. A family vacation to Bermuda. Average grades.
His freshman year, distracted and removed. The same year Damian had arrived at Bruce's home. Masks upon masks.
"You have informants within the League," Bruce says. Danny, to his credit, has no discernible tell. But there is no other explanation. "What will you do, if they find out you are alive?"
"That is none of your concern," Danny says, but he might as well be saying whatever I have to.
He never stopped practicing, after all.
"If they go after Damian, it is my concern."
"And that is why you need to take Damian back to Gotham before they do." Danny says. "I will take care of it."
Damian had barely spoken since he had realized Danyal was alive. But Bruce had seen the reverence in his eyes as he looked at the file.
"الوريث الصحيح" he had murmured. The rightful heir.
"You are proposing going after the entirety of the League with no backup," Bruce says. "Even if you think they won't kill you, you won't win either."
"Maybe they will," Danny says lightly. "Kill me. That would also work."
Bruce inhales sharply. "Danny," he starts.
"Go home, Mr. Wayne," Danny says, pushing himself up with one hand. The other still clutches the wad of tissue to his cheek, partially soaked with blood. "Go take care of your son."
"I'll go," Bruce says, "I'll take him to the Watchtower. And then I'll come back."
"Mr. Wayne-"
"I should've come for you," Bruce interrupts. "Sixteen years ago. I should've come for you."
Danny's brow furrows. "You had no idea I existed."
"But if I had. I would've come. I never would've left you there. And now that I know, I am not leaving you now."
For the first time Bruce watches Danny be completely caught off guard. He openly gapes at Bruce.
"You would've died," Danny lands on, voice thin. "They would've killed you."
"Unlike you, I would've brought backup." Bruce says, mimicking Danny's lightness.
He's lying. Sixteen years ago he would've thrown himself at the League to save his newborn son without a plan, without a thought beyond rescuing his baby.
Danny barks out a laugh. "You would've laid siege to Nanda Parbat with The Big Blue Boy Scout?" he looks wistful. "That would've been rad."
Bruce sees his opening. "Danny," he stands, eye to eye with his son. "Let me help you."
Danny evaluates him. "The Batman," he says softly. "I didn't want you to come, then. I didn't need one more person I had to prove myself to. All I wanted was to live amongst the stars, in the quiet of the cosmos."
"You want to be an astronaut," Bruce says. At Danny's cocked head, he says without shame, "I read your essay on personal heroes. You wrote about Edward White. Ad Astra Per Aspera."
Danny smiles slightly, sadly. "It is a rough road."
"You can be whatever you want to be," Bruce says. "I won't stand in your way."
"Even if I want to be Danny Fenton?" he asks.
"Even then."
Danny sighs. "I don't need your help Bruce," he says. "No," he says as Bruce opens his mouth. He pulls the wad of tissues away from his cheek. Underneath the splotches of dried blood the gash in his face has cleanly knit itself together, a faint white line now all that remains.
"I don't need your help," he says clearly. He holds a palm forward, and a green fire grows from its center, until the flames are licking delicately up his fingers.
"I know The Batman does not kill. But I am not a Robin. I am something else entirely," Danny says, his eyes reflecting the green of the flames. Or not, as he looks up at Bruce, his eyes green all on their own. They are sad. This is why he stayed away, Bruce realizes. Not out of fear. Danny is not afraid. Danny is tired.
But for his brother, Danny will wake up.
"And If the League takes one step towards Damian, I will raze them to the ground."
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princessbrunette · 6 months
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rafe getting home from a long day at work and winedrunk reader waiting for him in the couch, wearing a pretty little short dress from a dinner she had with her girl friends and being all clingy and going on and on about how much she'd let him do 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫 pls i need this man
god this is awfully me coded
he’s already pinching his nose bridge when he walks through the front door. following in his fathers footsteps is proving way harder than he thought it would be — and the pressure he is putting himself under is gathering in a vague yet aggravating ache at the base of his neck through to the scrunch of his eyebrows.
you’re on the other end of the spectrum, elated — pampered and princessed by rafes hand, giving you a good life thanks to his hard work. you’d gone out to dinner with the girls, returning tipsy and horny thanks to the shared bottle of rosé, and you all but giggle when your boyfriend walks through the door — ignoring his usual dark and stormy aura.
his back straightens when he enters the living room and sees you, as if a little startled you’re home so early. if he’s being honest, he’s not in the mood for any silliness — still frustrated from the deal gone wrong, all whilst barry was blowing up his phone trying to drag him back into his old life. rafes hands fall by his side, glancing at the way you’re sat, wearing a little dress he would have had something to say about you wearing outside around other people if he wasn’t too preoccupied with other stress.
“you’re back early.” he converses dryly as he drops down onto the opposite couch, spreading his legs and leaning his head back against the cushion. you bite your lip, eyeing him like he was your prey — an unusual switching of roles.
“the girls wanted to stay out longer, but i missed you.” you hop up in your bubbly manner, “y’look stressed, rafey.” you slide around the back of the couch, delicate hands coming down onto his shoulders and rubbing the tense muscle. you liked this, liked playing concerned housewife when your big bad rafe would come home all broody and mad. doting on him got you off.
“i am stressed. where’d you go?” he stares ahead, brow still heavy with irritation. if you wanted to play all sweet and suck up to him, he could only hope you knew what you were getting yourself into — that being a vessel for him to pound out his frustration. however, from the way you were touching on him, letting your hands slide down from his shoulders to run down his strong chest and stomach through his shirt, you were okay with that. infact, you were encouraging it.
“that new restaurant down by the pier. s’good… we should go…” your voice is soft and it relaxes him a bit, his eyes finally dropping down to your hands when your pinkie finger slides just beneath his belt. he looks, and then turns his head and looks at you, nodding in gesture to the couch.
“sit down, would you?”
you do what he says, you’d do anything he says right in that moment. you pout when you drop down right next to him, curling your legs beneath you. you wanted his touch, his attention, and you had a feeling he’d make you work for it. “do you need anything rafe? is there anything i can do for you?” your voice is nearly slurring, just slow and honey-like as your hand carefully grazes his chest again. he turns his head, to look at you — serious and still wearing the mask of irritation from his day. it’s hard to keep it up when you’re all fluttery lashes and twinkling eyes though.
“yeah, actually.” he drawls, eyes dropping shamelessly to your lips and then your tits. the slightest bit of attention makes you preen, and your manicured hand slides over his thigh, a longing exhale leaving you.
“i’ll do anything you want. i’d let you do anything to me.” you nearly whine, hand creeping up nearer to his crotch. he watches your hand, only glancing up at you.
“oh yeah? like what?” you can see the stress melting off him a little. your hand cups his bulge and you feel him hardening.
“i dunno, whatever you want rafe.” you pout, wanting him to take the lead. he glances at you again, which prompts you to keep rambling. “just wanna get fucked, needed it all day — i’ll do anything, i’ll take you in my throat, i’ll even let you put it in my ass just - just need you i missed you—” you sound like you’re getting upset from the lack of attention as your hand grips him, practically jerking him through his khaki pants and he winces, exhaling with his jaw agape and raising his hand, wrapping it round your throat to cut you off. he doesn’t squeeze, but his grip is firm and you squeak like a dog toy.
“alright.” he silences you, nose twitching a little in aggression. your hand slows a little before reaching for his belt, shaky fingers undoing it. “you miss me? yeah? want you to show me how much you miss me whilst i’m out here busting my ass to keep you happy.” he mumbles, jaw set as you pull his length out his pants. he cups the back of your head, pushing your face towards his length making you stumble to reposition yourself on the couch. “down you go. you know what to do.” he scratches behind your ear affectionately, which is enough to soothe you and you happily get to work, leaving lipgloss prints on his shaft.
“good girl. shit.” he sinks further into the couch, spreading his legs more as he gets comfortable. your ass is practically in the air as you bend over on the couch to suck him off, obscene sucking noises and your own leud gags all that can be heard for the time being. your dress has ridden up over the swell of your ass cheek and he shakes his head disapprovingly, hand sliding up the back of your thigh to grip the meat of your ass, making you whimper around his cock. “and we’re gonna talk about this dress when you’re done. can’t have you sluttin’ yourself out around town. you’re not a pogue, and slutting you out’s my job.” his voice is low and quiet, it’s even a struggle to hear him over your own gargles. you didn’t mind his disapproval, you wore it with intention — and you knew he’d follow through and fuck you in it.
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endlessthxxghts · 1 month
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Best I Ever Had
Jackson!Joel Miller x afab!reader | w/c: 2.3k
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Summary: Someone tries to hit on you on your night out with Joel, insulting your man in the process, and oh you don't like that. You blow off some steam in more ways than one.
Content/Warnings: Reader is able-bodied, no physical descriptions. Feminine perception of reader and feminine pet names (Joel calls you mama and babygirl), but no pronouns used. Reader's a fucking badass and can hold their own fights (probably Joel's too, tbh). Slight description of reader getting physical/violent with another person (bby has some anger issues). Established relationship. Implied age gap (exact number unspecified). A bit of insecure Joel. 18+ MDNI! Dom!reader !! Sub!Joel !!!! P in V unprotected. Slight breeding kink (reader just likes being filled, no children talk). Joel has a fast refractory period (don't think too much on it, just enjoy). Definitely some overstimulation. Cockwarming. Riding..straddling.. Teasing. Begging. Edging. Sloppy making out. Multiple orgasms. Please let me know if there’s anything I missed that should be up here!
A/N: Some get post-nut clarity, but I get post-nut lust. This was the product of that. Hope you enjoy, my angels. Thank you @honeyedmiller for beta’ing 🩶 also I picture both game Joel or hbo Joel, so it’s entirely up to you what you wanna visualize ;)
masterlist | updates blog
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It was a busy night at the Tipsy Bison. Everyone was out. Everyone was mingling, getting to know each other. As if it wasn’t a small town already, but hey, it wouldn’t hurt to make sure you really knew the people living in this little forever-town. 
Except, Joel was not one to mingle—especially on nights like tonight. Tommy insisted that he come, it’ll be nice, he tried to reason. 
He eventually agreed. Not because of Tommy, though, but because of you. 
You knew Joel was a certified grump, through and through. And you love Joel, you really do. But the post-apocalyptic world caused you to react differently than your man. Yeah, you’ve become tougher, harder to break, harder to trust. However, you crave any sense of normalcy you can find. So on occasion, you like to go out and get to know the people of the town. You like human interaction. 
And when they say opposites attract, the saying couldn’t have been more true. Joel was absolutely smitten the day he met you. It’s been a long time coming between you two—with his vulnerability, or lack thereof, and his initial unwillingness to accept that he can finally relax and unclench his jaw—but you’re together now, stronger than ever, and everything is worth it. 
You are worth it. 
Which is exactly why all you needed was to give one raise of your brow during his protesting before Joel promptly shuts his lips and takes a defeated breath, fixing his answer to Tommy. “Oh, hell. Alright, brother, we’ll be there.” 
And to be quite honest, Joel would go as far to say that tonight’s little get together was actually decent for once. That is, until he sees you waiting on the bartender for his beer and your old-fashioned, and a man—a boy—approaches you. 
“Hey,” you heard a voice beside you say. Not realizing it was meant for you, your attention stays on the bartender. Still, the voice persists. “I was thinking, uh-” you look at the guy then, eyes staring him down in a way he perceives as a challenge. 
He clears his throat. “I was thinking I could buy you a drink?” 
“No, I’m good,” you say shortly. The bartender comes up to you, pulling you away from the guy’s feeble attempt at flirting. You tell the bartender your order, and before you can take another moment to speak, the guy pipes up. 
“Put it on my tab,” he smirks triumphantly, taking a closer step to you. 
You pull yourself away on instinct— out of disgust, but your eyes stay trained on his gaze. You’re pissed, but this naïve little boy has no idea. Both of what you're capable of and what the older man, your older man, across the bar is capable of. 
“Thanks,” you smile, “my boyfriend’s gonna appreciate the free drink,” you tell the guy, turning to Joel and giving him a sweet smile. You’ve been feeling his stare the second this waste of space walked up to you.
Joel would pounce if you told him to. He knows you can handle yourself, though, and you confirm it through that pretty smile you flash him. He can’t deny the way his cock twitches at the way this scene is unfolding. Part of him is begging for the guy to try something more, to test you—to unleash you. 
The guy scoffs the second he sees Joel. “That old man is your boyfriend? Come on, baby,” his hand reaches for the crook of your elbow. “You can do so much better than that,” he taunts. 
And that was the something more you needed. Immediately your hand takes hold of his wrist, twisting the man to face the bar in a rough fashion as you lean him over the bar counter, his arm twisted behind his back, shoulder ready to snap out of his socket with the tiniest of movements. 
“Wanna say that again?” You seethe, knocking the breath from his lungs as you push him into the wooden counter. 
“I said—” 
He’s cut off by his own high-pitched scream. You push his arm higher, a sharp pain shooting through every nerve center in the guy’s arm. 
“Sweetheart,” a southern twang says softly, but it’s not your man. Tommy. “I know he probably deserves it, darlin’, but it’s not worth it,” he says, not wanting to aggravate you more. Everyone knows not to test you. 
Well, apparently not everyone. 
You roll your eyes, knowing Tommy’s just trying to keep up the liveliness of tonight. “Fine,” you mutter. Leaning closer into the guy, you whisper into his ear. “Talk about my fuckin’ man like that again, and I’ll snap your shoulder so fuckin’ hard, Jackson’s doctors won’t even know what to do with ya. Ya hear me?” You’re not from the South, and before the outbreak, you’ve never even been. But get angry enough, and Joel’s twang possesses you.
You release the crying boy with a shove, and you back up, wanting to pull yourself away from the situation. Your back is met with something hard, and immediately you know who it is. You soften in his touch as his arms immediately wrap around your waist. “You alright, babygirl?” Joel rasps in your ear. You can feel his fucking hard-on pressed against your back. 
The guy looks at you and Joel, chest still heaving as his face turns into disgust, a fuck you muttered under his breath, an aftertaste of jealousy on his lips. 
Smiling wildly at the guy in front of you, you snake your hand up to wrap around Joel’s jaw before you turn your head back and tilt your head up, pulling Joel into an open-mouthed kiss, your tongue pushing into his mouth as he eagerly sucks it, lapping up your spit. He groans into you, his arms pulling you impossibly tighter into him. 
You pull away with a harsh nip to his lip, feeding off the little whimper Joel lets out. “Baby,” he whines. 
You look back to the guy, and the silent audience you’ve accumulated. “Come on, cowboy,” you breathe. “I’m not done with you.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he replies happily, spinning you two around and walking out with you still pressed against him. 
The bar stays quiet after a beat. Tommy’s hand slaps the bar counter before he speaks. “Well. Get the music back going unless y’all wanna hear ‘em goin’ at it all night!” The bar roars in laughter, the music coming back to life. 
Before returning back to Maria, Tommy turns to the guy. “You. Out.” 
He scrambles without looking back.
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“Oh my God, baby.”
“Fuck— I- I can’t, baby, I can’t hold it much longer, baby, I need to come.”
“Just one more second, baby.”
“Mama, please,” he cries out, his head lolling from side to side on his sweat-soaked pillow as you grind your hips into his pelvis, lifting yourself on and off him every other moment. His hands hold onto your hips, not in a way to control your movement but to simply feel you. 
“Oh, come on, be a good boy for me, baby,” you moan, your hand fixing itself onto his jaw to make him look at you. “Just wanna feel you twitch inside me a little bit more ‘fore you make a mess inside me, okay?”
“Oh, fuck— yes, yes, mama, yes, okay,” he rambles, trying his hardest to breathe through the pleasurable pain as you take and take and take. 
A particular grind sends your back arching, his pubes soaked in your arousal nudging perfectly against your clit, sending an electric pulse up your spine. You cry out in ecstasy, your climax hitting you instantly. “Oh fuck, oh shit- fuckfuckfuck, baby, come with me— come inside me, baby, fucking fill me,” you nearly scream, hoping that boy can hear you now. 
“Shit, baby, oh my God- fuck- I’m coming, mama, holy fuck- I-” he stutters, his thigh muscles shaking underneath you as you bounce on him through his climax, the mix of his spend with yours bouncing lewdly across the walls of your shared bedroom. 
Your hips come to a slow but never stop, your chest heaving as you lean down to bring your lips to Joel. You let them ghost across his lips, but you don’t let them touch. He knows better not to chase it, not yet, anyway. He can still feel you fuming. 
You can do so much better than that.
“Can you fucking believe him?” You whisper against his lips, barely audible yet fucking scary nonetheless. 
Joel thinks that boy is right, deep down. Even though he’d never want you to leave him, and you’d never want him to leave you. Joel thinks that there’s a crumb of moral rightness in that statement. But he keeps that to himself. 
Nevertheless, you know Joel like the back of your hand. He doesn’t need to utter a lick of anything to you. You already know what he’s thinking. 
“Joel,” you say again. “I asked you a question.”
All questions must be answered. 
Fuck. 
“Y-yeah, baby,” he rumbles, too distracted by the comments from the bar, but mainly still caught up in the way his softening come-covered cock is still nestled inside of you. 
You sit up now. A whine leaves his throat at the movement. “So you do believe him?” 
Only then does he realize what he said. His eyes shoot up to yours. “W-wait, no, baby, ‘m sorry, no. No, I don’t believe him, baby,” he panics. 
You quirk your eyebrow at him. 
“The fuckin’ audacity on ‘em,” he adds for good measure. 
You’re silent for a beat. Then—
“You’re lying.”
Joel’s heart starts to race. “No, baby. Please. Mama, I’m not lyin’,” he tries. 
Still straddling his hips, you grab onto his bicep, pulling upward. He gets the hint and sits up. He’s still inside you, his cock slowly growing to full mast again the longer you sit here. 
You’re face to face now. His arms are loosely wrapped around your waist, your arms tightly around his neck.
“Look me in my eye,” you whisper, “and tell me you’re the best I ever had.”
Joel audibly gulps. 
Slow— so slow, your hips begin to move again. A breathy little moan escapes your mouth, and he lunges forward for you, his tongue dancing along the tip of yours, swallowing your breath. You allow it. 
“Tell me,” you groan into his mouth, practically swallowing his tongue as you shallowly bounce yourself on him. 
“Baby,” he whines, getting lost in this dance of heat and sweat he’s become utterly addicted to. 
You break yourself away from his mouth, not allowing him the option to reach for you anymore. He pulls back, eyes wild and sad. His mouth turned down into a literal pout. 
“My poor baby,” you mutter. “Tell me what I wanna hear,” you say again. “Or you’re not getting my lips nor are you coming for the rest of the night,” you tell him, switching back into your grinding motion to stimulate your sensitive bud, letting him feel the way your pussy flutters around him. 
“Baby,” he begs again as you grind, your warmth forcing him to another climax. Please don’t make me say it, he’s trying to convince you. 
Your fingers find their home at the base of his salt and pepper curls, tugging them in warning. “Tell. Me.”
You force his body down to lay flat on the bed again, towering over him, allowing your body the space to lift yourself off of him, only his tip inside of you. He takes a sharp breath in, knowing what’s coming. 
You drop yourself down on him, fucking yourself on his cock at a bruising pace. You grab his hands and drag them up to your chest, wrapping his thick digits around you encouraging him to squeeze. 
“Fuck- mama, I’m gonna—”
“No the fuck you’re not, baby,” you moan, lost in the pleasure but still rightfully in charge. “Swear to God, Joel, gonna leave you fucking swollen and pulsing for a fucking week— oh fuck,” you cut yourself off, a familiar sensation building at the base of your spine, sending you convulsing around his length yet again. 
Joel’s eyes clamp shut, finally giving into your request so he can finally let go. “I— shit, I’m the—” a rugged moan forces itself out, “—the best you ever had, mama, please, the fuckin’ best, baby,” he cries out, his hips bucking up into you as he covers every inch of you with his spend. 
“Shit,” you moan, his words affecting you a lot more than you anticipated, your hips doing overtime, unable to find it within you to stop even as he begins to soften. “Yes, fuck, that’s my boy, shit—” you breathe, “—the fucking best, always make me feel so fucking good, baby.”
His hands finally use their strength, trying his best to slow you with ease, his nerves reaching the point of painful overstimulation. “Alright, baby, alright,” he winces. 
Recognizing his limits, you immediately begin to slow, lowering yourself onto his heaving chest. You let him slip out of you this time, giving him an actual break. “I’m sorry,” you whisper into his chest. 
“For what, baby?” Joel responds with a kiss into your head.
“Did I go too far?”
He couldn’t help the belly laugh that shakes the both of you. You immediately sit back up, your hands on his chest to keep your limp body up. “What?” you glare at him.
“Too far? Which part, darlin’? Nearly breakin’ that guy’s shoulder or my dick?”
A belly laugh erupts out of you this time. Taking a moment to compose yourself, you respond. “...Both.”
“Mmm…” Joel puts on a fake thinking face. “Maybe to the former, but not at all to the latter,” he hums, his hands finding the back of your head to pull you in for a chaste kiss. 
You hum into his lips, a smile stretching across your cheeks. 
Resting your head on his chest, you let a few moments pass before you speak again. “Tommy’s not gonna invite us to another one of those, huh?” 
“Probably not, mama,” he smiles. “Probably not.”
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I’d love to hear what you think!! Any feedback or interactions with you all truly brightens my day. So so so much love for you all. Thank you for being here 🩶
I cannot get myself to write for Joel or for TLOU without mentioning the horrors occurring in Palestine. Please check out the links in my navigation + bio to learn about the situation in Palestine and also learn about some ways in which you can help🇵🇸. Reading and interacting with those links takes 5 minutes of your time at the bare minimum.
graphics by @saradika-graphics (middle divider in fic by me)
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heesdreamer · 1 month
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FIRST SUMMER
PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader
SUMMARY ➩ you and your bestfriends brother (possibly your mortal enemy) are both given the task of renovating your childhood lake house during the final summer before it’s sold
WARNINGS ➩ light smut, heeseung and reader aren’t super nice to each other most the time
WC ➩ 14.5k
AUTHORS NOTE ➩ Well.. officially out of retirement with this one I hope! I started this august of last year and abandoned it during my hiatus so picking up where I left off was a bit difficult and I apologize for any changes in writing styles. This isn’t my favorite thing I’ve written but I hope you guys enjoy it, thank you always for waiting for me. NOT PROOFREAD NO PART 2
You wondered if Lee Heeseung had been put on this earth for the sole purpose of making your life more difficult.
He’d probably argue this assumption with the fact he had been born before you, his main reasoning behind his many claims that you were the one copying him and making his life a living hell and not the other way around. He was a measly two years older than you but never failed to bring it up and use it against you.
Heeseung had been in your life for as long as you could remember and you absolutely never got along.
It wasn’t a big issue at first considering you were kids and had no real need to be around each other. The playgrounds were big enough for the both of you and your parents saw no reason to force a connection between the two of you, despite the fact you were neighbors and the two pairs of adults actually got along quite well.
Similarly to you and Heeseung’s little sister, a small girl who was born in the same year as you but nearly your polar opposite in personality. At first you’d been hesitant when she started to show up to play with the older boy, knowing him by now as the enemy and assuming she was going to be just as wicked and terrible. It only took watching her push him down onto wood chips once for you to decide to be her best friend.
The boy had scowled from his place on the ground, grumpily picking pieces of the wood from the fabric of his sweater and watching the two of you run off together towards the swings.
He’d failed to understand the power of your friendship in that moment and now 15 years later he was still paying the price, stuck with the two of you constantly. You and Jiwoo almost seemed more like siblings than they did, attached at the hip and never going too long without talking to each other.
Which is why it was all the more annoying that you and Heeseung could never seem to get along, reverting right back to being two kids arguing on the playground every time you saw each other, which was quite often. You’d practically moved into the Lee’s house next door during high school and you were even a frequent guest on their family vacations, their mom booking a place with an extra bed for you before she even asked if you were available.
You weren’t exactly sure why the two of you didn’t get along. He was nice enough to other people and sometimes he cracked jokes that nearly made you laugh, only nearly. For some reason he just brought out a terrible side of you that you didn’t really understand and you were certain you did the same for him.
It was easier now that you were out of school and entering adulthood, not having any major reasons to constantly see each other and his parents didn’t have to force him to drive you and Jiwoo around places now that you had your own cars.
He was definitely still around though and you were trying your best to act civilly despite that inner part of you always preparing for an argument to break out between you.
Especially right now considering the fact he kept kicking your leg underneath the table at the restaurant both your families were eating together at. The Lee’s cousin was in town and you’d always been particularly interested in him, being a total sucker for an accent and a good beach tan.
You sent a glare to your right in Heeseung’s direction when he kicked you for the third time and jammed your heel against the bone in his leg, ignoring the grunt of pain he let out as he bent slightly forward to grab onto his shin. His mom sent him a concerned glance before remembering who he was sitting next to and rolling her eyes as she looked away from the two of you.
You were watching Jake as he talked animatedly about his life guarding job back in his hometown, leaning forward and resting your chin on your palm to show your interest despite the fact you weren’t fully listening.
It was difficult to considering the constant distraction sitting beside you, another kick being sent to the leg of your chair so you jolted slightly to the side. You whipped your head around to look at him again, immediately replacing your interested and awed look with one of hatred and disgust.
“What the hell is your problem?” You were spitting at him in a low whisper, grateful the table was big enough that the others weren’t really paying attention to you. Although they had to have expected an argument eventually considering they sat the two of you together, breaking an unspoken rule that had been built up throughout the years.
“Stop trying to seduce my cousin.” He was spitting back and his eyebrows were pulled down tight in a sharp glare, keeping eye contact with you in an attempt to intimidate you.
“Mind your own business.” Your response was quick and tight, slightly embarrassed he’d caught you staring but too angry to care.
You turned back to try and focus in on the conversation again but now you were suddenly overly aware of the fact Heeseung was sitting next to you and watching what you were doing, looking for any opportunity to tease you and start up an argument. You sighed softly and leaned back in your chair with crossed arms, keeping a scowl on your face and letting the dinner pass by without speaking again.
“You know, I figured the two of you would eventually start getting along once you became adults.” Your mothers tone was laced with lighthearted disappointment after the dinner, walking ahead of you on the rock path leading up to your front door.
You could hear your father laughing softly in front of her at the idea of your life long feud being laid to rest, a frown instinctively coming up on your face at their inside joke.
Glancing over to the side, looking past the small stretch of grass that separated your pathway from the Lee’s, you saw Heeseung sporting a similar dejected expression and you wondered for a second if he was hearing the same lecture you’d been getting after dinners for as long as you can remember. Then he was looking over towards you and meeting your gaze in the low light of the summer sun setting, eyes immediately hardening into a glare that you quickly returned.
It was hard not to think about it later on in bed, eyes trained on the old plastic stars on your ceiling that didn’t glow anymore. Your hands were folded on your stomach and you were tapping your thumbs softly on the smooth skin in contemplation.
Sometimes, although you’d rather die than admit it to anyone, you also didn’t understand why you and Heeseung didn’t just stop fighting.
He was kind to Jiwoo in a way that always made you envy having siblings and despite his constant teasing he never declined driving her places or picking up food for her when she didn’t feel like going out. And he was even kinder to your parents, treating them like his own and having manners enough for the three of you growing up.
It was like you were dealing with a completely different person, him falling into that same angry glare the moment you’d step into a room. Sometimes he’d be mid story with a group of friends, being charming and funny as he recanted something and exaggerated moments to get a few more chuckles. You’d watch from a far for a bit and then slowly approach and every single time he’d pause for a moment, looking completely thrown off by your arrival, and then tensing up and losing track of what he was saying.
Your presence just seemed to bug him and as the two of you got older it affected you more. You didn’t mind the fact he wouldn’t play with you when you were kids, never dwelled over him saying you had cooties or getting dirt on your favorite stuffed animals.
But the fact he still continued to hate you as you aged and matured, settling into your respective personalities and lives, you couldn’t help but be offended he disliked you so much.
“He’s just weird.” Jiwoo had explained to you once when you were both seventeen, sprawled out on her bed and flipping through a magazine as she addressed you. “You shouldn’t think too deeply about it.”
Heeseung had just graduated high school and you’d all attended the ceremony, both families getting reserved seats per his request.
It had actually gone well for once, he didn’t seem upset that you were there and he had even hugged you alongside your parents when he came off the stage and your mother handed him a bouquet of celebratory flowers. Mrs. Lee had shot you a surprised glance and then a supportive thumbs up and you gave her a soft smile in return, figuring he was just so excited to have graduated that he was managing to tolerate you being there.
The Lee’s had taken advantage of the fact your backyards combined into each other, no fencing between them, and the two pairs of parents had decorated the space for a small party for the older boy.
You were excited to go, especially since Heeseung hadn’t demanded an explanation for your invitation, and you even managed to make some good amount of conversation with a few of his friends.
The conversation was swiftly interrupted when you felt a hand wrapped around the middle of your arm, tugging you a few inches backwards to get your attention. You whipped around to see who it was and you were met with an angry looking Heeseung, looking more familiar to you than the smiley version of him you’d seen earlier.
“Why are you talking to my friends?” His voice was accusatory like you’d done something wrong and he sounded so upset that for a second you felt like you had.
Your mouth had parted in confusion, fumbling for words and coming up short from the shock of his sudden confrontation and also the embarrassment of the situation considering he wasn’t exactly being subtle with his anger and the boy behind you could definitely hear every word he was saying.
“Chill out Hee, we were just making simple conversation.” Jay proved you right by speaking from over your shoulder but you didn’t bother looking at him, keeping your eyes locked on Heeseung and wincing softly at the way his face hardened at his friend defending you. “Cmon man, I know better than to-“
“Do you know better? Because it doesn’t seem like it.” Heeseung was cutting him off at the same time he was removing his gaze from yours, breaking you slightly out of the worried spell you were under as he looked at his friend from over your shoulder.
You weren’t exactly sure what they were talking about but you assumed Heeseung had warned his friends against speaking to you. It took you back a bit, despite knowing he didn’t like you.
The two of you definitely didn’t get along but you were still very close regardless if you liked it or not and you spent a lot of time together, so it hurt you more than you expected it to that he hated you enough to actively try and keep his friends from interacting with you, enough to the point he’d embarrass you and cause a scene at the sight of it.
“Hee I’m sorry.” His eyes snapped back down towards you at the sound of your quiet voice, completely out of character for you to not be fighting back or making a snarky remark.
It seemed to throw him off enough that his anger faltered for a second, looking concerned for a moment as he stared down at you before his jaw was tightening again and his face hardened back up.
You weren’t sure why you didn’t bother to snap back at him, if it was from the embarrassment of being ripped out of a conversation and scolded like a dog who’d gotten into the trash or if it was actual disappointment at his behavior despite the fact you definitely should’ve been used to it.
“I think you should head home. Parties almost over anyways.” He was eventually saying and it was directed towards you although his eyes had dragged back over your shoulder to look at Jay.
You figured he had looked away because he was feeling slightly guilty for embarrassing you and not being fought back in return, or maybe he was disgusted with you and didn’t want to look at you.
Still, his tone wasn’t as angry anymore although just as hard and stern, and you nodded softly before stepping sideways out from between the two tall boys. You knew he was lying about the party being over soon but it had ended for you anyways and you had no issue leaving it and going to the safety of your bedroom.
Jiwoo had caught the end of the encounter and caught up with you as you speedily walked away from the boys who had started to angrily murmur at each other, hence leading to the conversation about her brother in your bedroom and her explaining he was just being weird.
“Jay is a total playboy though, you should steer clear of him.” Her nose was curling up in disgust as she made the casual comment but a small pout formed on your face, wondering if Heeseung thought you were going to hookup with his friend and that’s why he was extra aggressive about it.
Eventually you let it pass from your mind to become just another bullet point in the long list of things Heeseung had done to show you he truly disliked you.
It was a lot easier to start to dislike him back, easier to fight with him and snap insults rather than get confused and sad about why he treated you so differently. So your routine was set in stone even deeper and neither of you ever faltered, not during birthdays or relative weddings or even your own graduation two years later.
So it wasn’t exactly an easy thing to handle when your parents and the Lee’s were sitting you all down to explain that your family lake house was going to be sold at the end of the summer.
“Wait why would you ever sell it?” Jiwoo was blurting out before they got the chance to explain and you had a permanent frown on your face as you waited to hear their response.
You watched your dad and Mr. Lee exchange a heavy but meaningful look, like there was something they’d already discussed amongst themselves in regards of how to tell you. You were sat on the left of Jiwoo, Heeseung on her right and for some reason you had to resist the urge to lean forward and see what his expression was.
“We’ve decided, now that you three are all grown up, it was just time. We figured we’d use the money to travel during the summer or save towards retirement.”
It made sense as your dad started to speak but you felt a weird clenching in your stomach at the thought of not having the lake house to go to anymore.
Realistically he was completely right and you’d started to neglect the yearly trips out there, taking them for granted and not appreciating the time you got to spend at the house. You didn’t even go at all the last two years, finding yourself too caught up with things so unimportant you don’t even remember them now.
The lake house was a tradition that was instilled before any of you were even born, a collaborative effort of your parents to try and bring some fun and adventure to your summers since you grew up so close to the city.
“So it’s just gone?” Heeseung was speaking for the first time since the meeting was called and you were surprised to hear how thick his voice was with upset, clearly more affected by the breaking news than you and his sister. You caved to the urge and leaned forward a bit to try and get a look at him but Jiwoo shot you a sideways glance and you quickly sat back in place.
“Well not exactly.” Mrs. Lee’s voice was soft as always and you watched as she reached across the small space between the seven of you and gently rubbed her sons knee, giving him a soft smile and an encouraging nod. “We will have one last summer with it, mostly for renovations before the new owners come to look at it.”
You knew exactly what she was talking about when she said renovations, hearing your dad complain about the rotting in the deck and the holes in the inside walls for years now but never making the time to fix them.
But you weren’t fully understanding what they had planned for the three of you yet and you wished you had in that moment so maybe you could have come up with an excuse faster. They explained to you softly, attempting to lessen the blow, that you would have to go and stay at the lake house for a few weeks and fix up the place to make it look brand new for the new owners.
You weren’t at all against getting to be up there one last time, breathing in the clear air and having campfires on the sand, but you definitely didn’t want to sign up to spend your summer doing free manual labor.
Your parents left no room for argument and you could see the prepared disappointment on their faces so you offered no reason for it to escape, hesitantly agreeing with the plan and waiting to hear what the siblings next to you had to say about it. Jiwoo was stiff beside you and staring forward at the ground like she was in deep thought, a bad feeling washing over you at her expression.
She proved your suspicions right when she started to explain in a meek voice that she had already made plans for the first month of summer, having completely booked and paid for a vacation near the sea.
Her eyes shifted towards you as she told your parents this and you immediately furrowed your eyebrows in annoyance, knowing right away she was lying and making up an excuse so she didn’t have to come with you until the second half of summer and by then the house would be mostly finished already.
To make matters worse, you didn’t even process the fact Heeseung would definitely not decline considering how much he loved the lake house and that would leave the two of you alone up there.
He seemed to piece it together a few seconds before you did and you saw the realization settle over your parents faces too.
“Woah woah wait, there’s no way I’m going with just her.” He was quick to shut down the idea, sitting up straighter and shaking his head dramatically.
You didn’t say anything in response surprisingly despite the fact everybody in the room tensed up in anticipation for a fight to break out between the two of you. You were a bit dazed from the news of losing a big piece of your childhood and you were also just tired from the day over all, already knowing Heeseung was going to reject before he’d even opened his mouth to do so.
Mr. Lee was sighing and beginning to lecture his son on being an adult and putting your differences aside for something this important but Mrs. Lee was silent and giving you a curious look that you were too afraid to try and decipher.
Eventually it was decided that the two of you would either suck it up and go to the lake house together and work on it without killing each other or you’d face the wrath of four disappointed parents. You didn’t say much about the agreement either although Heeseung had plenty of comments to make and Jiwoo was finding the entire situation pretty hilarious from an outside view.
It had been about an hour since the family meeting and you were still in the Lee’s house, leaning your hip against the counter in the kitchen and mindlessly peeling some potatoes for the stew their mother was making for dinner.
The air was hot and dry like it always was during the beginning of summer, not bothering to creep up anymore and instead it just seemed like one day it was cold and the next you could barely sleep without waking up in a puddle of sweat.
You could hear the bugs outside from the open window, loud and alive with excitement for the new season and the breeze was just barely cooling off your damp skin. Normally this would bring you the same feeling summer always did, a lightness in your chest and a heavy sense of nostalgia everywhere you went.
It wasn’t hard to guess what was dampening your mood and leaving you feeling a bit shut off, the source of the weird emotions just a staircase away upstairs in his room playing video games.
Mrs. Lee was walking into the kitchen and pausing when she saw you although you only met her eyes for a split second before quickly focusing back in on your peeling and chopping. She cleared her throat softly and came over towards where you were leaning on the counter, placing down some lettuce and starting to chop besides you.
“Something put out your fire tonight?” She was asking it casually and her voice was as soft as ever but you immediately understood what she was implying.
You glanced at her from the side of your eye before shaking your head. Mrs. Lee had a certain aura about her that always made you feel like a little kid again, vulnerable and sensitive. As much as you loved your own mother, you always envied your neighbors for having her so close growing up.
“Sometimes it just isn’t worth the argument.” Your words weren’t the least bit convincing considering how forced they sounded coming from your mouth, paired with the fact you’d never once backed down from an argument and they all seemed to be worth it to you up until this point.
You could hear her take a deep self calming breath and your hands froze where they were chopping slowly, bracing yourself for whatever she was planning to say next.
“He means well honey he just… isn’t sure how to get through to you.” She somehow sounded as certain as she did hesitant and you could feel her gentle hand patting the side of your arm softly, leaving you with your poorly sliced vegetables and dimmed fire.
——
Throughout the entire process of packing your bags and mentally preparing yourself to head up to the lake house, you’d completely forgotten the fact you’d have to ride with him the entire five hour car ride there and then back again once it was all over.
He definitely didn’t seem to miss this fact considering he was standing outside leaning against the car with a nasty scowl when you came out, dragging your suitcase behind you and nearly tripping over the step off the porch from its wobbling weight. Your mother was trailing behind to say goodbye but not offering much help when it came to loading up your stuff.
Heeseung luckily didn’t say anything to you when you were approaching, greeting your mom with a gentle but annoyed good morning and staying on the side of the vehicle when you started to attempt to load your stuff inside the trunk.
After a few groans of annoyance slipped out of you, due to the fact your bags kept tipping over back out towards you and refusing to stay still in the neat tower of things Heeseung had packed for himself, he was sighing and making his way back towards you.
You glared at him when he circled around the car, not in the mood to be berated or rushed so early in the morning, especially right before you were stuck in a car together for the entire first half of the day. Your harsh facial expression faltered a bit when he was rolling his eyes and tugging your suitcase out of your grip.
“Just go and get in the car already, you take too long.” He was spitting it at you and harshly side eyeing you before starting to load your stuff up but you didn’t bother to argue considering the gesture was nice enough if you ignored the attitude he always carried.
“Well that was sweet of him.” Your mother was whispering the words to you in a dreamy voice, nudging you softly with her elbow and eyeing Heeseung through the windows.
You paused and glared at her in confusion, a dumbfounded expression and a sneaking suspicion starting to arise considering how weird both her and Mrs. Lee have been acting in regards to the two of you and your complicated, but mostly aggressive, relationship.
“Are you kidding me?” You settled on a bewildered statement instead of grilling her about her weirdness, knowing she wouldn’t give you an answer anyways.
She had given you a shrug that you assumed was noncommittal and then hugged you tight, tighter than she’d ever had and you tensed up a bit at the embrace.
You’d gotten into the passenger seat of the car and tried not to think about how weird the dramatic send off was, tried to focus yourself on keeping calm and not letting Heeseung get to you too early on in your time being forced together. You weren’t exactly sure why you were trying to be the bigger person lately but you chalked it up to being exhausted with the back and forth.
“You’d think she was sending you off to war.” He’d made the comment as he put the car into drive and you glanced over at him, staring at the side of his face, both confused and relieved by the fact he had noticed your moms weird attitude.
“She might as well be.” You didn’t mean to sound so snippy but it was your default setting when replying to him and he didn’t seem to mind the tone, chuckling dryly under his breath and shaking his head in annoyance before focusing in on the road.
He didn’t attempt to talk to you again for another hour or two and you were grateful for the silence, giving you another opportunity at being less confrontational. It definitely wasn’t for his benefit or to be kinder to him, you just didn’t want to constantly be exhausting your energy with the effort it took to keep up with whatever set him off.
Eventually he was pulling off of the main highway and turning into a gas station that was almost completely barren, stuck in one of those sections of a road trip that was basically just fields followed by more fields.
He was getting out of the car and shifting through his pockets for his wallet before sighing and glancing at you in the passenger seat, watching him from the corner of your eye so it didn’t seem like you were staring.
“Want anything to eat or drink?” He was asking in that familiar reluctant tone he always had with you and for a second you wanted to snap at him and decline his offer, tell him to just hurry up and get what he needed so you could get back on the road.
You took a small breath instead to steady your emotions before nodding. “Yeah I’ll just… I’ll take a-“
“I know what you want.” He was cutting you off and closing the car door before you could say anything else, leaving you with parted lips and annoyance starting to simmer in the lowest part of your stomach.
You scoffed even though he wasn’t around to hear it and leaned back in your seat, crossing your arms and scowling as you waited for him to return. You highly doubted he knew what you would get from a gas station, knowing he never paid attention to you or your interest outside of finding something to fight about and it just aggravated you further that he would go as far as to ask like he cared just to not let you answer.
He didn’t take long in the gas station luckily or else you’d overthink too much and be on the verge of exploding, sniffing slightly when he slid back into his seat and passed the bag with the snacks in it.
You paused for a second to glare at him before you were taking a look into the plastic and pausing when you spotted your favorite drink and a snack you commonly ate whenever you were stressed out or particularly craving something, mixed in with things you knew he enjoyed.
“What?” He was asking from the drivers seat and he sounded weirdly awkward underneath the familiar attitude. “Is it not right or something?”
“No it’s… it’s right.” You cleared your throat and nodded softly, sitting back in your seat and closing the snack bag after you grabbed what you wanted out of it and balanced it on your lap. “Thanks.”
“Yeah whatever.” It was muttered in his low tone but you caught it anyways, finding it almost as weird as the fact you had thanked him. He was finally starting the car and starting to pull out of the gas station much to your relief and you focused back on looking out the passenger window.
The heat was reaching the point where the low quality AC in the car wasn’t doing much to cool either of you down and once he rolled his window down instead, you took the silent cue to do the same to yours.
It was still pretty dry in the air and the sweat was really starting to make you itch and worsen your mood so you were hesitantly unbuckling your seatbelt so you could sit up more in your spot and pull your sweater over your head, leaving you in just a tank top and you sighed softly in relief as the air immediately cooled down the wetness of your sweaty arms.
You could feel Heeseung’s stare from your left and you glanced at him with furrowed eyebrows, rolling your eyes when he quickly scowled in return before snapping his gaze back onto the road.
It was pretty quiet for the rest of the drive, Heeseung playing the same music you often heard coming from his bedroom or his headphones when you were forced to sit close to each other in a car so you were actually able to recognize them and sing along.
Neither of you said much even when getting out of the car and starting to bring your things in, exchanging quick glares when you reached for the same bag or got in each others way but for the most part you were too relieved to finally be back somewhere that always caused your stress to melt away.
This time wasn’t any different and you took a second before you went inside with your things to take a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill your lungs and listening to the sounds of the water against the shore just off in the distance.
You couldn’t see the lake from the driveway as clearly as you could from the other side of the house where the deck was located but it was just one of those places where you could actually feel the difference in the air and the atmosphere.
“Can you hurry up? There’s plenty of time to stop and do nothing later.” Heeseung was griping at you as he passed by with another load of bags and you scowled at his back, completely removed from the peaceful moment you’d been having.
You decided to just leave it be and finish unpacking, flopping onto your back on your designated bed and panting slightly from the effort mixed with the heat once you were completely finished. Your phone had been abandoned against the span of your stomach but when it started to vibrate, you immediately knew who it was.
“So how’s it going? Have you killed my brother yet?” Jiwoo’s amused voice did nothing but amuse you further although you were struck by how much you missed her teasing.
You could hear the sounds of waves in the distance through her side of the phone, envy settling deep into your gut despite the fact you were also near water. The small lake was a lot different compared to the endless sea she was currently vacationing at, having a nice time with people who cared about her versus you being stuck with her older brother who couldn’t bother even being kind to you.
“We surprisingly haven’t really fought yet.” It came out of your mouth in a hefty sigh and you absentmindedly played with the string of your pajama shorts, pressing the phone tighter against your ear. “Think he’s downstairs getting ready for dinner.”
“Are you going to eat with him then or just hide out in our childhood bedroom?” She was asking it like it was a question but you both knew the answer already, the same accusatory tone that she always had heavy in her voice underneath the knowing smile you could practically see in front of you. “He’d probably secretly like it if you ate with him you know, I always did figure he had a crush on you.”
An automatic eye roll came over you at the sound of her baseless teasing. She often made jokes about Heeseung secretly liking you growing up, coming to the conclusion that was the reason he was always so harsh towards you.
You’d told her countless times that that was absolutely ridiculous and there was no way Heeseung liked you, let alone that he was the type of person who thought being mean to somebody was going to get them to like him back. You had seen the types of girls Heeseung brought home occasionally and he definitely knew better than to resort to elementary school level flirting methods.
She was eventually hanging up once one of her friends started to call her name, inviting her to come and swim with them.
You laid in bed for a while after the call went silent, feeling struck again with that weird lonely and nostalgic emotion that you couldn’t quite understand. It wasn’t normally this silent in the lake house, typically filled with doors opening and closing and the sounds of your mothers rushing around the kitchen as they cooked and your fathers cleaned.
As much as you didn’t want to, you couldn’t help but wonder if Heeseung was feeling just as weird about the whole situation as you, if he was downstairs just as lonely and unnerved by the fact it was only the two of you this summer and then nobody ever again. Your mind stuck on that thought process when you started to smell food drifting its way up the stairs and going straight to your empty stomach.
You’d planned to avoid the older boy as much as you could, especially during the first few days, but you were beyond hungry by now and you couldn’t help yourself from standing out of the bed and making your way downstairs.
He didn’t notice you for a few seconds when you first hit the bottom step, watching him for a beat as he casually moved around the kitchen and diverted his attention to three different pots and pans. He was listening to music again, something low playing from the old radio that sat in the lake house year round, and you realized how often you associated him with something soft playing.
You were completely ripped from your thought process when he was turning around and letting out a loud shriek when he saw you standing at the bottom of the stairs, dropping the bowl that was in his hands and doing a little scared hop.
“What the fuck are you doing?” He was spitting out and your mouth parted in surprise, not expecting such an extreme reaction or how loud it suddenly got. “Why are you just standing there like a weirdo?”
“What? I was not, I was just..” You started to defend yourself loudly but gave up midway and let out an annoyed grunt, knowing he wasn’t exactly wrong about what you were doing and you didn’t necessarily have an explanation. “I was just coming to see what you were cooking dickhead.”
He stared at you for a few seconds with a look on his face that you didn’t really understand before he was stepping to the side and revealing the plate with a handful of burgers on it.
You looked at it before you were meeting his stare and a weird feeling passed through you while holding his gaze, not something you often did- especially not willingly. He had cooked enough for the both of you despite his attitude when you’d came down and you weren’t sure if it was intentional or just habit but the act struck you.
The two of you ended up sitting at the table and eating in awkward silence, directly across from him but feeling like he was miles away considering he hadn’t even acknowledged you being in the room once.
You couldn’t help but be hyper aware of the fact you were very rarely alone with Heeseung and this was about as alone as any two people could possibly be. He was a lot less defensive when it was just the two of you and if you didn’t know any better you’d say he almost seemed shy, making you think about the jokes Jiwoo often made.
It’s not like Heeseung was at all ugly, you’d never stoop low enough to make fun of him for something that was so clearly not true.
Especially within the last year or two, he’d completely changed both in build and confidence and you were extremely glad you didn’t have to be around him as much as you did growing up. You disliked him as a human being but you were still a person in reality and he was almost unnaturally attractive.
“Why are you staring at me again?” His voice was low across the table, speaking in an awkward mumble as he started to push what was left of his food around with his fork.
You didn’t bother denying the fact you were watching him even though you hadn’t really realized you were doing it, completely zoned out again. You figured your time in the house together was already going to be awkward no matter what so you might as well ask him what you were thinking about. “Jiwoo says you have a crush on me.”
He completely tensed up for just a split second before he was quickly switching his demeanor and letting out a heavy scoff like he found you ridiculous. You caught the small reaction and your interest peaked, sensing an opportunity to get under his skin.
“Jiwoo also watches too many romance movies.” He was quickly disregarding what you had said with a casual and bored tone but you could tell that he was clenching his fork a little tighter, avoiding looking up from his plate all together.
“So you’ve never once found me attractive?” It rolled off your tongue easily, like you were asking him something as simple as to pass the mashed potatoes, but you gave him a knowing glance from under your eyelashes.
He finally looked up at you once you said this and he seemed taken back by the way you were watching him, the expression on his face telling you he thought you were absolutely crazy for even asking this.
“What? Are you kidding me, of course I haven’t.” He was quick to deny it and you could tell he was getting irritated, hand tightening around his silverware and that familiar clench of his jaw showcasing how much your questions were bothering him. You couldn’t tell if it was because he felt embarrassed or disgusted.
You let out a soft hum of understanding and let the silence sit for a few breaths, watching as he slightly relaxed under the assumption you were done saying weird things.
“I think you’re attractive.” He had been mid bite when you finally spoke again and his body lurched forward almost like he was choking, covering his mouth when he coughed and quickly taking a sip of water to try and force down whatever he had put into his mouth before you nearly killed him.
After he calmed down he was shaking his head at you again although not looking at you, staring down at his plate like he was thinking deeply about something and for a minute you wondered if he was going to take the bait like always or if he was going to just brush you off, making your stay much more awkward.
“My sister put you up to this?” His voice was stone cold now and he clearly was slowly losing his resolve, similarly to you considering what he said had completely thrown you off.
What did Jiwoo have to do with any of this and why would he automatically think that?
“No.” You shrugged like it was a casual conversation but your heart was beating a bit faster now, sensing genuine anger from him and not just annoyance. “I just don’t see the point in lying just because we don’t like each other.”
“You think I’m attractive?” His eyebrow was quirking up now and he was narrowing his eyes, leaning forward in his seat.
He’d finally put down his fork and stopped pretending to be focusing on the food he had barely eaten, elbows on the table and his full attention on you as he waited for you to reaffirm what you had said so confidently a few seconds ago.
The confidence had definitely left your body as soon as you’d said it and actually got his attention, feeling similarly to how you did when he embarrassed you at his party despite the fact the two of you were alone.
Very alone.
Still, you held strong and pushed through the conversation and if your stomach turned at his head tilt when you gave him a small quick nod, you’d pretend it didn’t. There was no going back now and you weren’t sure what direction this scenario was heading towards.
On one hand, you knew Heeseung had to be lying. You definitely weren’t unattractive and he clearly had eyes, ones that settled on you more times than you’d wished you had noticed so he wasn’t oblivious to this fact either regardless if he wanted to pretend he was. He was a teenage boy at one point and you were prancing around his house in short skirts and bathing suits.
And on the other hand, you didn’t think it necessarily mattered.
If Heeseung found you attractive he didn’t have to say it and this would be the ultimate time to completely embarrass you, humiliate even. If he rejected you here, you’d never live it down and he’d forever hold this over you as the time he utterly destroyed your ego in one fell swoop. Plus a large part of you was hoping he wasn’t planning to do that anyways even though you weren’t exactly sure what you wanted out of this.
You had hated the boy across from you for as long as you’ve known the power of the emotion and you’d never let him and his tall build and cute hair distract you from this fact.
But you also weren’t stuck seeing him everyday now. He didn’t live at home and you rarely came around unless you were forced beyond what you could deny so the stakes were a lot less high if he reciprocated what you were saying right now.
“You’re going to have to say it.” His low commanding tone was enough to stop you from overthinking the fact this was a bad idea, an absolutely terrible idea.
It was also enough for you to shift in your chair uncomfortably so you could better squeeze your legs together, watching the way Heeseung’s eyes darkened at the movement even though there was no way he could see what you were doing underneath the table.
“I think you’re attractive Hee, don’t be weird about it.” You were pulling yourself together and standing from your seat then, completely popping the bubble of tension that had started to suffocate you.
He didn’t say anything, thankfully not correcting you on the fact you had definitely been the one who made things weird, but he watched you with a heavy expression as you hurriedly cleaned your plate and disappeared up the stairs with quick footsteps.
——
You were coming to terms with an unmeasurable amount of regret now that a few hours had passed.
The bed had become your official moping place and you stuffed your face so far into the pillow you could barely catch your breath, possibly a self punishment for your humiliating behavior. You’d given up on attempting to sleep and you couldn’t rely on Jiwoo to entertain you considering she was probably busy and you were fearful you’d slip up and confess your sins to her the second she answered.
How do you explain that you’d nearly, just barely, flirted with her brother?
If you could even call it that considering the fact he looked like he was just on the verge of throwing his plate at you the entire time. Still, it had been weird and far too bold on your part and you were strongly regretting your life decisions up until this point.
Eventually you decided that sleep was useless and not coming anytime soon and you might as well make use of the fact you were at the lake house, suddenly remembering the hot tub that was placed around the side of the large deck. It didn’t take long for you to change into your swimsuit and start to head outside but you froze up right outside the slider door.
Considering how cruel the universe had been up to this point, you should’ve expected the fact that Heeseung was already occupying the small pool of water.
You were just starting to take a step backwards with the plan to retreat back upstairs and change again into your pajamas when you decided against it, taking a deep heavy breath before pulling the door open and simultaneously alerting the boy of your presence.
He was nearly all the way in the bubbling water but you could tell he was shirtless, something you’d normally be unaffected by if it wasn’t for the conversation you had. The steam from the hot water mixing with the cold night air was covering his face for the most part but you could see him enough to tell his face had hardened at the sight of you.
His gaze was locked on you for the duration of your walk towards the tub, stopping right outside of it and taking another subtle breath to try to calm yourself down.
“Mind if I join you?” Your voice was rougher than you wanted to be, nearly giving up the fact you were affected by the awkward tensioned air and the way he was watching you still.
He made it worse by not responding out loud, giving you a subtle nod of his head that made your heart rate increase. Still you were following through with the initial goal and climbing over the side of the tub before settling down into the hot water, letting out a sigh of relief and sinking into it until only the tip of your shoulders were above the surface.
Heeseung was still watching you and you were avoiding looking at his side completely, although that didn’t help much considering you could feel his stare on you.
“I’m sorry for making shit weird.”
Well apparently your mouth was planning on getting things out of the way before your brain was.
You looked up just in time to see him cock a brow in your direction, an expression on his face you couldn’t read and you almost groaned in annoyance from how calm he was being about the entire thing. You kept waiting for him to lash out at you and yell about your weirdness, maybe even call your parents and demand Jiwoo came instead of you.
“I don’t think it’s weird.” Instead he was saying this and shifting so his arms were resting on the back of the tub, lifting his torso out of the water more and giving you a better view of the wet streaks going down his neck and past his adams apple. “Unless you didn’t mean it.”
“I meant it.” Your voice was coming out rushed and your eyes were widening a bit, mentally cursing yourself for being so eager to reassure him.
He hummed softly like he had earlier and your stomach flipped again with nerves.
It wasn’t missing you that this was completely out of character for you and totally ironic but you were only human and as much as you disliked him as a person, you couldn’t deny how good he looked with damp hair and his tan skin lit up by the LED’s of the hot tub. He was sexy and always had been despite how much you wished that wasn’t true, and now you were alone.
So you tried to ignore your long history with him as you shifted through the water so you were closer to his side, only a quarter of the way to him now instead of being directly across from you.
He watched you silently for a few beats before he was scoffing and shaking his head like he was judging you, causing your eyebrows to furrow tightly as you stopped moving closer to him.
“What?” You felt embarrassed suddenly at your assumption and prepared yourself for him to make fun of you again, scold you for ever thinking he’d want you closer to him just because he hadn’t made you feel weird about your admission.
“Nothing. I just should have known you liked me.” He was laughing to himself slightly like it was the funniest thing in the world, not at all discouraged by the glare you were sending him. “You totally followed me around all the time, plus you always had that look in your eyes.”
“I do not have a look.” You hissed at him with a sharp voice and this seemed to amuse him even further. “And I never said I liked you don’t be stupid, I just think you’re hot.”
His eyebrows raised up high and his eyes widened in amusement, catching your slip of the tongue as you aggressively spat the words at him. “Oh see you said attractive, didn’t know you found me hot too.”
He was clearly having fun with the whole embarrassing situation and you gave up quickly, leaning against the back of the tub behind you and frowning with your arms crossed under the water in front of you. You stared ahead of you at the bubbles and tried to tune out his low chuckles.
“Don’t get pissy about it.” His voice was filtering over the running jets again and you glanced at him from the side of your eye, surprised to see something that slightly resembled guilt on his face. “If it makes you feel any better… I think you’re hot too.”
This made the corner of your lips turn up into a small smile,something very rarely ever sent in his direction from you. You turned your body to face him again and leaned forward with interest.
“So you lied earlier.” Your voice was more excited than you wished it was but you didn’t fully care, sitting up on your knees a bit. His gaze was dropping down to your chest before meeting your eyes again, losing all traces of humor now that more of your skin was visible.
“Yeah. I lied.” He confirmed in a lower tone and your smile fell slightly, suddenly nervous again. You were used to how he was acting a few seconds ago, making fun of you and feeling angry and embarrassed around him but this was a side of him you had no history with outside of watching him flirt with girls at parties Jiwoo forced him to bring you both along to.
That didn’t stop your body from naturally moving closer to him, drifting along the bench until you were right beside him and you could feel his thigh pressed up against your knee.
Your mouth was parted softly to try to keep breathing around the hot steam and his eyes were seemingly transfixed on it, watching your lips as you wet them instinctively and remaining on them even when your tongue was slipping back into your mouth. You could feel his breath on your face and it struck you that you’d never been this close to him before.
His face was leveled with yours for once since you were still perched up on your knees and he was sitting normally, minimizing the usually very apparent height difference.
He hadn’t touched you or even moved at all but you could feel his skin next to yours and you were hyper aware of his every movement, the subtle rise and fall of his built chest and the way his throat moved with every deep inhale he took. He seemed to be showing some restraint and that made you shift impatiently, teetering towards him until your shoulder was brushing against his.
His eyes shut tightly for a second when he felt your bare skin touching his, mumbling something under his breath before he was looking at you again.
This time his gaze was going all around your face instead of just focusing on your lips, even dropping back down to your bare shoulders and the way your wet hair was sticking to the skin of your neck. He scanned down past your chest to where the rest of your span of skin disappeared under the water.
“Hee.” Your voice was breathy as you finally spoke and instead of cutting the tense moment, it only worsened it and you felt your thighs pressing together again like they had at the dinner table. This time he could clearly see the movement past the bubbles and he stiffened a bit. “Can you touch me Hee?”
You watched him tense even more at the sound of your whiny voice using his nickname, one you didn’t say nearly as much as your friends and family.
He didn’t reject you even though you were starting to think he might considering how restricted he look, instead he was lifting his hand out from under the water and cupping it around your jaw softly. You could feel his thumb rubbing along your cheek, the water from his arm rolling down your neck and disappearing back into the pool of it.
It was almost embarrassing how much it affected you to be touched by him so intimately and the urge to kiss him was too overwhelming, a dizziness settling in from both the heat and the longing sitting harshly in your stomach.
You were so close to each other that you could feel his lips brushing against yours, not quite kissing considering he was rocking softly backwards every few breaths and holding your face tightly so you couldn’t surge forward and get it over with.
Heeseung definitely wasn’t letting go of his habit of teasing you but this felt particularly cruel and prolonged.
“That what you want? Want me to touch you?” His tone was meaner than you expected it to be but you didn’t exactly mind, at all apparently considering the shiver it sent down your back. He was clearly making fun of you and your desperation but if he touched you, you knew you wouldn’t be able to find it in yourself to care.
So you took a deep shaky breath and nodded your head as much as you could while he still held your face, moving your hand so it was touching his bare knee.
Your action took him off guard enough that he lessened his grip for a split second but it was long enough for you to lean forward and press your lips against his for just a second, barely feeling them on yours before he was pushing you back again and your hand was impatiently squeezing his knee.
Another embarrassing whine came from deep in your throat and his eyes flashed with something for a second before he let out another soft hum.
“Can’t do that baby.” He was so close that his lips pressed against yours as he spoke and you completely froze up once his words made sense to your lust dazed brain, just barely processing his rejection before he was letting go of your face and leaning away from you.
You did nothing but watch him in horrified shock as he stood out of the water and left the hot tub, weirdly calm even when your gaze was locking on his bare torso.
He was leaving casually like he hadn’t just did the worst thing you could possibly imagine and you felt hot wet tears of anger spreading rising quickly, completely humiliated and swiftly reminded on why you hated Lee Heeseung so much.
——
As the days continued passing with awkward avoidance on both of your ends, you were struck with the fact that maybe you didn’t hate him as much as you always thought you did.
You’d actually admired Heeseung at points considering he was the oldest out of the three of you and continuously setting a good example despite all the pressure. Some nights you’d leave a heated argument with him and head back inside your own home, laying on your bed with a racing heart and a scowl fixed in your features.
Then you’d hear the strumming of his guitar coming from his house, window wide open and directly across from yours.
The first few times you’d put in your headphones or let out an annoyed shriek as you slammed yours shut, trying your best to tune him out and erase his existence from your mind ; out of sight out of mind.
Eventually you got tired of pretending you weren’t impressed by how smoothly the chords carried over to you, how swiftly he must be moving his hands to produce something so soft and gentle. You’d let it carry you to sleep and for a moment you felt like you were experiencing something together.
You were more naive then, tricked into thinking he ever cared about you enough to even know you were listening, childish and stupid to possibly hope he might’ve been playing for you.
Some sort of apology.
He never was and he made that very clear to you and eventually your embarrassment and shame turned to hide behind anger. It was easier to fight with him, to scream and yell, than to admit that he was hurting your feelings and lowering your ego everytime he treated you so harshly.
The entire situation was extremely frustrating and annoying, almost (but not quite) as annoying as the continuous banging happening directly under your head for the past hours.
With a loud groan, you were getting out of bed and deciding to end your moping abruptly, heading downstairs to see what the workers Heeseung had hired were doing that made that much noise. You slowed your steps as you descended down the stairs, realizing there was a lot more men in your second home than you’d originally expected and they were all moving around at a fast and busy pace.
You’d just barely managed to dodge one of them, carrying a large amount of… something, as you reached the bottom step but in your attempt to move out of the way you were running into an abandoned tool box and spiraling in the other direction.
Your eyes had squeezed shut and your body tensed bracing for an impact that never came, instead feeling yourself smack into someone’s strong and sturdy frame.
“You alright?” You quickly shot open your eyelids to see who it was you’d fallen into, turning red in the face at the concerned look the man holding you was sending down in your direction, still holding you softly and giving your arms a slight squeeze like he was trying to get you to focus.
He watched as you nodded your head softly with wide eyes, helping you steady yourself back on your feet but still holding onto your upper arms like he was worried you’d fall again.
You took the opportunity to scan over his body and your face flushed a bit more at the sheer size of the man and his extremely toned arms, looking away quickly to focus on his feet between yours instead. Heeseung was definitely a large guy too and nearly towered over you but you imagined he’d look tiny in comparison to the one in front of you.
“You sure you’re okay? You look a little red.” He was speaking again in a soft voice that directly opposed his look and you snapped out of your random thoughts about Heeseung.
“I’m okay I promise.” You were nodding quickly and giving him a soft smile, hoping you were convincing enough to make him believe you definitely didn’t need any type of medical attention just because you’d tripped over a box. “Just startled me a little. Thanks for catching me….”
You trailed off while watching him and it took him a few seconds to understand what you were looking for, a bright smile on his face once he realized and filled in the gaps. “Namjoon.”
“Well thank you Namjoon.” His name was rolling off your tongue smoothly and his smile suddenly looked a lot more like a smirk making you a lot more aware of the fact he was still holding onto your arms and standing close to you.
He didn’t get a chance to reply considering the loud sound of someone aggressively clearing their throat was coming from next to the two of you, both your heads turning to see who it was and it was almost comical the way you froze up in sync with each other.
“Shouldn’t you be getting back to work now Kim?” Heeseung’s tone was stiff but you could feel the underlying threat in his words and the man across from you definitely could considering he was immediately letting go of you and taking a few rushed steps backwards, mumbling a goodbye to you before he was disappearing into the kitchen to find a task to complete.
Your shoulders slumped at the interruption but your heart was beating fast looking at Heeseung next to you, recognizing the expression on his face even though it was subtle.
He was absolutely furious, the type of anger that typically caused you to end arguments early or completely stay out of his way. When he got like this you knew it wasn’t the time to poke fun at him or start up any banter, his entire aura becoming a lot darker and less forgiving.
You’d fought with him like this a few times, realizing a little too late that he was in one of his moods and it was those times that he had said the worst things. Things that made the family and friends around you gasp even though they were used to your rivalry, things that caused tears to spring to your eyes as you stormed off to a different room.
“Let’s go.” He was saying it calmly but you felt a chill run over you as he stared at you with fury and disgust, reluctantly following behind him as he left the main living space and entered a small hallway just next to it.
You hadn’t even gotten the chance to explain before he was abruptly turning around and facing you, taking a few harsh steps in your direction until you were backing up and slamming into the wall behind you. Your eyes widened in surprise and slight fear, not understanding why he was suddenly cornering you.
Heeseung moved forward until he was pressing against your body and now your emotions were abruptly changing as you realized what was happening, a wave of heat rushing through you at the feeling of his front leaning onto you.
You were slightly embarrassed he most likely could feel how fast your heart was beating but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care once he was reaching up to grip your face, a lot less gentle than he had earlier in the week when you thought he was going to kiss you.
“So I don’t give you the attention you were begging for and now you’re flirting with the first guy you find?” His voice was low and harsh, completely demeaning you and still watching you with hatred in his eyes.
You hated how much this drove you crazy, the urge for him to berate you and make you apologize for what you had accidentally done arising quicker than you’d even knew had existed and you were a bit dizzy from how much you wanted this.
“Please.” It was rolling off your tongue before you’d realized you were saying it and you barely recognized your own voice, breathy and begging for something you didn’t even understand. His eyes got even darker, if it was even possible, and your stomach lit up with a desperate heat.
“Pisses me off so bad when you do that.” He was practically hissing it at you, voice a low whisper and his hand around your jaw tightened, leaning in so he was speaking to your ear. “Stop being so fucking dumb and use your words.”
You tried to get ahold of yourself enough to find the right sentence to tell him what you want but your mind was completely blank, instead deciding to just arch your back off the wall so you were pressing tighter against him.
Heeseung faltered a bit and his eyes dropped down towards where your stomachs met, watching as you tried your best to roll your hips up to meet his but failed to actually get any sort of relief for yourself.
“Just fucking touch me.” You were finally gasping the words out through clenched teeth and he didn’t waste any time thankfully, surging forward and surprising you by kissing you deeply.
His tongue was pushing into your mouth before you even processed the fact he was actually kissing you and you were letting out a satisfied groan against his lips, letting him lick into your mouth softly and play with his tongue against yours. His hand was wrapping around your lower back and tugging you forward so you were pressing against him the way you wanted to.
A wave of desire ripped through you feeling that he was hard against you and you snuck your hand in between the tight space of your bodies and palmed him through his shorts, smiling at the way he sucked in a sharp breath and stopped kissing you for a second.
Your smile was dropping when he was meeting your eyes and looking ten times more deadly than he did in a daily basis, still glaring at you like he always did but with tenfold the usual fire and tension. That didn’t stop him from pushing his hips against your seeking hand for a few seconds, eventually stopping and letting out a groan as he snatched your wrist off of him and pinned it against the wall behind you instead.
He was rutting into you so hard that you were almost worried the rough materiel of the wall behind you was going cut your back, completely forgetting about it half a second later when he was pressing himself perfectly against your sensitive lower half.
“Keep your fucking mouth shut.” His voice was dangerously low in your ear and you could feel him taking heavy breaths against your neck, panting to try and keep himself quiet.
You were nodding quickly at his command despite the fact he couldn’t see you, curling your hand tightly in his hair and spreading your legs wider so he could continue to slot himself between them and give you just a taste of relief. He immediately took the silent invitation and shifted his hips against yours more, almost bordering painful if it wasn’t so addicting to feel him this way.
Heeseung was clearly struggling to control himself and you couldn’t recall ever feeling this needy for anybody before, something about how forbidden the entire situation was mixed with the life of tension and anger was driving you absolutely insane and you didn’t seem to be alone in it.
“You want me to fuck you here?” He was picking his face up out of your neck to look down at you and check your reaction, his eyes hazy and dark with his lips parted and swollen like he’d been chewing on them. “Where anyone can hear you begging for me?”
“Who said I’m going to beg?” You were trying to snap back at him but your voice came out weak, nearly a desperate whine that got louder when he was shifting against you again.
“Sure seems like it, the way you’re spreading your legs for me already.” His big hand was sliding down past your waist and cupping underneath your bare knee, hiking your leg up harder and rolling his hips against you so deliciously you nearly collapsed as a stuttered moan ripped through you.
You immediately took your hand out of his hair and covered your mouth with it, eyes rolling back a bit at the feeling of him shifting his hips against you and practically dry humping you right there against the wall.
Knowing that the house workers were only a few feet away and walking around completely clueless about what they might walk into was only making you more desperate for him and you didn’t care how out of character it was for you. At this point you would be willingly to let him take you in front of anybody who wanted to watch, leave you shaking and crying for him in public.
He didn’t need to hear you say it to know this, a cocky look on his face underneath the fucked out expression he already had.
“Always running this pretty mouth.” He was speaking again in that same low tone but he seemed completely out of it, almost like he was talking to himself and not you. His free hand was gripping your face, squishing your cheeks together so your lips were puffed out and your eyes were wide. “Should’ve known you wanted me to stuff it.”
An embarrassing wave of want washed over you again at his words, nearly drooling at the thought of him shoving his cock in your mouth to get you to stop back talking. It would’ve felt more humiliating if it wasn’t for the way his eyes were completely frozen on your mouth like he was thinking the exact same thing.
You couldn’t resist the urge to tease him more and your tongue was sticking out softly before you’d even realized you were doing it, causing him to loosen his rough grip on your face a bit to allow for it to push past your lips. You were staring up at him with big wet eyes and your tongue on display, silent waiting and begging for something you hoped he’d understand.
Thankfully he did and he was only hesitating for half a second before he was picking his head up more and spitting down into your mouth.
Heeseung didn’t even give you a chance to swallow before he was following the spit with his tongue, licking along yours and cleaning up his own mess before you were pulling him back into a kiss and sucking him deeper and deeper into your mouth. It was completely filthy, the nastiest kiss you’d ever shared with somebody and you were terrified you’d become addicted to the feeling of his spit on your chin.
“Please Hee.” You were gasping out into his mouth, reaching up to tug on his hair again and get his attention locked on you and your request. “Need you to fuck me.”
For the first time since you’d started, he actually looked hesitant. He glanced down the hallway towards where the dozen of workers were and your heart dropped to your stomach thinking he was going to stop what you were doing, even if it was just to take you upstairs to a bedroom. You couldn’t handle the idea of separating for even a second and you were spreading your legs impossibly wider and touching his face with your shaky hand.
He glanced back at you in question and his eyes darkened again seeing the pure disgusting need on your face.
“You’re stupid if you think I’d fuck you like this.” He was shaking his head in anger and taking a step away from you, one that immediately had your body tensing and your heart aching in upset.
You were instinctively reaching out to try and grab onto him, just about ready to get down on your knees and beg him not to leave you at the peak of your high like that. But the empty look in his eyes made you rethink that decision and you just stood there in shock as he gave you one more angry glare before he was exiting the hallway and leaving you alone inside of it.
It was even more pathetic considering the way your entire body slumped against the wall before sliding down it and ending up on the floor with humiliation completely smothering you, knowing you only had a few breaths to wallow in your embarrassment before needing to get up and go back to your room.
You’d completely retracted back to your bed again after that and this time not even the smell of food or the sound of annoying construction could get you to go back downstairs and risk running into him.
Jiwoo had called you three times every hour before she finally gave up and instead sent a thread of text messages that you promptly ignored. You were overly paranoid that she’d find out what had happened, like even the sound of your voice would give away the fact you’d made out with her brother since she last heard from you.
If you hadn’t hated him fully before than you definitely did now because there was no way you’d still want Lee Heeseung after he embarrassed you like this.
You didn’t think he would tell anybody considering he’d get just as much heat for it as you would, if not worse since he was older and supposed to be taking care of you and his sister at all times in your parents minds. But the interaction staying a secret was almost worse in your mind, a private thing between you and him.
Nothing could have convinced you to leave the comfort of your familiar bed until the wind of the sea lightly blew back the curtains and gave you a small glimpse of the sunset raging outside.
You let out a big breathy sigh, realizing now how much time you’d been wasting moping around about a stupid boy when this was your last summer ever getting to experience sunsets this bright and air this fresh. Heeseung definitely wasn’t sat in his room caring about you and how he hurt you so why should you be?
It was almost completely dark by the time you made it down to the beach but you didn’t regret coming, the lake looking long and endless now that you couldn’t see the other side.
You remember it seeming a lot scarier when you were a kid, before you’d ever seen the real sea and back when you and Jiwoo used to dare each other to swim out as far as you could before seaweed grabbed at your ankles and spooked you back to shore.
Your heart ached with how much you missed her and you were pulling your phone out of your pocket and putting it to your ear without another breath, playing in the sand with your free hand while you anxiously waited for her to pick up and talk to you. You didn’t have to wait long considering she was answering after the second ring and you let out a breath of relief.
“Finally, I was starting to think you’d really killed eachother.” Her voice was sweet as ever and a wave of fondness and nostalgia hit you even harder, laughing softly but not fully answering her yet.
For some reason the sound of her light joking mixed with the waves from her side of the phone was bringing tears to your eyes and you didn’t need to say anything for her to understand you were feeling something heavy. You both stayed silent and you hoped she figured you were just upset about leaving the lake house behind and didn’t create her usual conspiracy theories.
“You okay over there? I can come early if you need me to.” Your friend was doing her best to reassure you without knowing why you were upset and you wiped your now running tears with your sleeve.
“I’m alright, just feeling a lot of things right now I think. Are you having fun?” You weren’t exactly lying in your answer which was good considering you didn’t want to lie to her anymore than you already had to.
“I’d be having more if you were with me but you already know that. Can’t believe my brother gets to spend more time with you than I do.”
Your heart sunk a little at the mention of the exact reason you were crying and you were sure how to respond to her without giving too much away. She could read you even over the phone so you knew she might’ve felt the energy shift now that she’d brought her brother up, sniffling a bit and letting the sand run through your fingers.
She talked a bit more about her vacation and how much fun being at the sea was after so long and you listened to her excitedly chatter, letting out soft hums every once in awhile to assure her you were still listening.
You actually were but a large part of you was still thinking about Heeseung and what he might be doing back up the hill inside the lake house. You wondered if he felt guilty for you hiding in your room or if he had even realized you weren’t inside anymore.
Jiwoo was eventually bidding you a goodnight and making you promise to answer her the next time she called on the first ring, sounding a bit heavier when she was saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. You hated that you didn’t feel the typical happy buzz that your bestfriend typically brought and more tears made their way down your cheeks.
You sat like that on the shore for another hour, watching the waves roll and crash onto the sand just a few feet away from where you were sitting.
It was putting you in a sort of trance, so many thoughts running through your head that you weren’t even able to pinpoint where one started and another ended.
You were so deep in your own head that you didn’t at all hear the calls of your name from up the hill, starting off mildly confused and concerned but escalating to full on desperate and panicky shout when they were met with no response. You certainly didn’t hear the footsteps coming down the large wooden steps from the back deck or when he breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing you on the beach.
“There you are.” Your back tensed at the sound of his voice and the soft tone in which he mumbled the words. “I thought for a second you’d gone back home.”
He was coming to sit beside you on the sand, just close enough where you could feel his body beside yours and the wind carried over his familiar scent but still too far to touch.
Which was for the better in your opinion.
You ignored him even though you could sense his stare on the side of your face and embarrassment was hitting you in rough rolling waves, hoping that the moonlight wasn’t quite bright enough to give away the large tear streaks down your cheeks or how red your nose had gotten from crying.
“Hey, I’m sorry about earlier.” His voice was still soft which was doing absolutely terrible things to your heart and you shook your head slightly, pulling your lip between your teeth to stop yourself from letting out another sob. “I’m sorry about everything in general.”
He was turning to face you more and you braved up enough to spare him even the slightest glance, seeing pure guilt and turmoil on his face.
Meeting your gaze was enough for him to realize how upset you truly were and he was sighing before scooting closer to you in the sand and putting one of his warm hands on your bare arm, now cold from sitting out in the wind for so long. You instinctively leaned into his touch and his other hand gently gripped the side of your face so you couldn’t look away again.
It was such a jarring difference from how he’d touched you earlier, from how he touched you your entire life actually.
“I didn’t mean to be so mean so you or leave you there like that I just… I just panicked I think.” He was rambling now and stuttering through his words, something you knew he often did whenever he got in trouble when you were younger. “You think about something happening for so long and then it actually does and it’s so much more different than you thought, n-not that it wasn’t good I just mean that…”
He trailed off and sighed again and you squeezed your eyes shut to try and ignore the desperate urge to just kiss him and shut him up.
You knew you needed to hear whatever he had to say and he definitely needed to say it, he long overdue owed you a few hundred apologies and it was a lot more than the fact he’d left you high and dry earlier.
It was all the times he glare at you and stolen a smile off your face and every argument you ever had that left you stricken with angry tears and storming out of a room, the embarrassment of being told off at his graduation party and even worse the fact he didn’t kiss you until he was driven by jealously.
“I’m just so sorry.” He seemed like he was ending his monologue there and you gave him a heavy look, slightly nuzzling into his hand before placing your own over it. “Say something please?”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.” Your words were more honest than you expected them to be but his eyes softened when your voice came out weak and croaky, the full expanse of your hurt getting more obvious by the second. “I’m just confused.”
You were turning slightly so you were facing him more and you were certain the two of you looked a bit ridiculous, sitting criss crossed directly opposite of each other with your knees touching and his hand holding your face still, only moving to push some of your hair out of your face.
“I am too.” He was whispering now and you felt the full effect of it low in your stomach, a soft smile on his face now that you were opening up to him a bit more.
Heeseung had never left your life and it was a lot easier to list out all the terrible moments you’d had with him over the softer times, glimpses of days where he’d had a smile just like this wether it was in your direction or not.
He’d been there every time you called for a ride even if he complained about it most of the way home and you’d never stopped listening in extra hard whenever you heard his sweet dorky laugh coming from a few rooms over. You must have been blind to what your mothers had clearly started seeing a long time ago but little things this summer had made you reconsider how deep your dislike for each other goes.
You’d long hesitated to fight with him, starting to rethink your quick jabs and your constant attitude whenever he walked into a room and clearly he’d picked up on more than you ever realized, obvious by him so easily knowing your comfort snacks or the way to calm you down.
“You know,” Your eyes snapped back up to his when he started to speak in a low voice as you waited to hear what he had to say. He looked a bit nervous, like he was about to confess something and you gave him your full attention. “When we used to fight as teenagers, I’d always feel so terrible for making you storm home. Even started playing guitar with my window open so you could hear it.”
Your entire world view shattered just off of that simple admission alone and a heavy sob interrupted whatever else he was going to say, his eyes widening in surprise for just a moment before you were leaning over onto him fully and throwing yourself into a tight hug.
He eagerly accepted although not understanding the true weight he’d just released from your shoulders and you felt him let out a big breath of relief now that you were in his arms, his hands rubbing up and down your back as you cried softly.
You didn’t need to hear him say that he felt the same way that you did, as confusing and scary as it was after projecting your anger onto each other for so long. Your heart tore up thinking about that young girl in her bedroom just holding onto the silly childish hope that the boy next door was actually playing for her, now knowing it wasn’t foolish at all and he’d been right there hoping she was listening.
It hurt you to think about how much time you’d wasted carrying on a childish feud and how whatever this was had started off being such a disaster of jealously and toxic back and forth.
But you were immediately soothed by the never wavering feeling of his arms wrapped tightly around you and the gentle sound of the waves crashing on the shore, spending one last summer on the beach that raised you and creating your first one with the boy you loved.
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