#i also dont believe that you can be behind when it comes to college

[lilmoonsyy]

I refuse to believe that most of the characters are fresh HS graduates about to go to college for the first time, either because the way they behave is too college-ish or that their actors just look too old. The wiki gives the counselors the age range of 18-20, and so far (haven’t finished the game yet) there is no clear indication that they are all fresh HS graduates. I do have some headcanons about the characters ages, even if they might not completely make sense...

- Jacob and Kaitlyn are 20 and finished their sophomore year/second year of college before their summer camp job (so they would start their junior year/third year if they survive); i refuse to believe that a man that looks like jacob is anywhere below the age of 20 and since kaitlyn is played by brenda i also cannot imagine her being below that (watched her since I was a child, i love miss brenda, but girl i just cannot). also jacob is his college’s sunshine frat boy and is so excited to mentor his little :) (hopefully he’ll teach him how to accept a break up too..) 

- Ryan, Emma and Dylan are 19. Dylan finished his freshman year/first year of college and is moving into his sophomore year. He just doesn’t give off soon-to-be-freshman vibes. I just played the scene in which he expresses interest in pursuing quantum physics, which would make you think he’s about to start college, but many of my age mates when I started college went undecided, so I imagine that Dylan is doing the same thing.        I believe that Emma is an overachiever and finished HS a year early, so along with J and K, is going into her junior year.      Ryan obviously hasn’t gone to college yet and is taking a gap year so he has more time to decide what he should do about his sister, so he would be “behind” his age mates. He doesn’t want to fall further behind, so he used the summer camp job as a way to “practice” not being his sister’s caretaker and leaving her at their grandparents.

- Nick and Abi are 18 and the babies of the group (and treated as such, especially Abi). They both just graduated HS (or whatever the equivalent is to HS in Australia since Nick’s voice actor is Australian and therefore in my brain says that Nick is from Australia and is going to be a foreign student at his college in the states). Abi reminds me a lot of myself when I was in HS, so she is the one I can believe the most that she’s 18. Nick has that annoying little brother you can’t help but love behavior when he interacts with Dylan and Jacob at the beginning of the game, so 18 he is as well! 

Laura and Max are a little difficult to place. Laura is able to find Max's rejection letter to graduate school. Typically you finish your undergraduates between 3 to 5 years. On average, you're max 18 when you graduated HS, so this would place Max between 21 to 23 years old. I don't think it's made clear if there is a (notable) age difference between Laura and Max, but I would place her in the 19 to 20 age range.

*since I headcanon Jacob to be a uperclassmen frat boy, I like to imagine that he was practicing his mentor skills on Nick aka encouraging him to get with Abi lol

Pls give me your ideas about their ages because it’s driving me insane! I guess they would have to be in the teen range for the game to fall I to the 80s teen slasher it seems to want to categorize itself in, but I just can’t accept it lol

#the quarry #supermassive games the quarry #i like my headcanons but they probably dont make sense lol #i just refuse to believe that any of them besides nick and abi are 18 yrs old #supermassive games #theyre at least 19 or older #i'm basing their ages off of my own college experience since im 21 (almost 22) and still going to college myself #i also dont believe that you can be behind when it comes to college #do things at your own pace

[aliaology]

NOW THAT WE DONT TALK

summary: somehow, somewhere, cole caulfied gets yn to go to his end of the summer party down in michigan. it works in her favor due to college starting back up. pt.5

series masterlist

“no fucking way, cole.” you said into the phone, sitting at the island of your brother’s house. the sliding door nearby was open, sending small gusts of wind in, causing you to shrink closer to your body.

“oh come on, please!” cole whined from the phone. cole tried his hardest, but if he tried his hardest, his party would not be held, on the hughes property.

said party will also have jack hughes— and even trevor zegras.

“cole—“ “no come on, y/n, i havent seen you in forever. i get trevor and jack will be there, but just ignore them, please. i miss you and i dont want them to be the reason we can’t hang out.” cole pleaded.

you let out a sigh. “can i bring a plus one?” you ask. you can hear cole whisper a small ‘yes!’ in victory before speaking, “of course, is it gonna be your brother?”

“uh no— i was gonna talk to sab…” you trailed off.

“i dont care who you bring, as long as i get to see you, bells.”

there is was. the nickname you had been given one summer many years ago by cole, that soon everyone in the hughes summer house called you.

he started to call you bells because of how quiet you would walk into a room, he made the joke you needed a bell to stop scaring them. fast forward, he bought you some and forced you to have them around your neck, and the nickname just stuck.

it was almost endearing at this point. not some joke.

“okay” you whispered, bringing a leg up, resting your chest against your knee.

“when is it?” you asked.

“next weekend. so is this a yes?” cole asked excitedly. “i guess so. i better get paid back for this unexpected flight.”

“fuck yeah, i cannot wait to see you, bells.”

“cant wait to see you too..”

you sigh softly, curled in a fetal position on your bed, your white comforter draped over your body. you hated how after a year, you were still hung up on your ex, who was doing way better than you.

he had a girlfriend, your best friend, hockey, he had it all. you shared your music to the world, not as an act of revenge but as a way to pour your heart out and see if people have and are going through the same thing.

you feel lucky to know you have yet to receive a message from jack, or even his girlfriend. that doesn’t mean you havent seen the comments though.

quinn commenting every once in awhile kind of scared you. what was he telling jack? what was he telling trevor? what was he saying about you in general?

but you and quinn had a good relationship, he was practically your third older brother (right behind your actual one, and auston!). you went to him for advice about jack, or to complain about jack.

luke and you also had a good relationship. one that crumbled when you and him had a small argument over your break up with jack, and him ultimately choosing his brother. you didn’t blame him though.

sad fact is, is you believe that all the hughes brothers were your soulmates in some form. quinn and luke were your platonic soulmates. jack was your romantic soulmate, in every possible way. but not anymore,

jack is on your mind constantly. all you see is him everywhere you go. all the time its just him.

you wanted it to stop. jack was practically your roman empire and god you needed to find a new one.

but hey, at least you don’t have to pretend you like acid rock anymore, because god some of his playlists for game days were bad.

but he was happier now, right? with his new girlfriend who definitely dissed you online..

maybe its a good thing, yknow? now that you dont talk..

tags: @honethatty12 , @slaythehousebootsdown13 , @lovinbarzal , @outrunangelss , @absolutelyhugh3s , @hockeyboysarehot , @shadowsndaisies if u want tags, lmk <3

#hockey #jack hughes #nhl imagine #new jersey #new jersey devils #nhl #nhl hockey #jack hughes x reader #quinn hughes #luke hughes #trevor zegras #cole caufield

[chiiyuuvv]

heyy can I request xikers reaction to you being insecure about something in yourself(anything, u name it) thank youu and I love your writing 🤍✨

• PAIRING — xikers x fem!reader

• GENRE — comfort, insecurities, yeah

• WORD COUNT — 695

• AUTHOR'S NOTE — Everything that i have written has been pulled from here so if there was something i didnt name or you'd like to read more about, i highly suggest it :)

• TAGLIST — @lil-elle , @hyunukitty , @cake1box , @mars101 , @nenede , @soul-is-a-strange-kid , @the-lemon-boy , @yuniniverse , @hunchan444 , @s00buwu , @cherrycolaberry

MASTERLIST! – JOIN THE TAGLIST!

"I'm not going to get into that college"

First and foremost, minjae understands the pressure to get into a certain college in order to please your parents. But you wanna know whats more important? Why do you wanna go? Other than pleasing your parents. After a long talk and cuddle, you should come into a better sense of whether or not college is something you want to do. But either way, you should always believe in yourself! ♡

"I don't have many followers"

Junmin's going to take away your phone. Not because you did something bad, but so you can take a break. Go outside, turn on do not disturb and take a walk with your lovely boyfriend. Its a win-win for you, him, and his dogs. A win-win-win, technically ♡

"I don't have a good fashion sense"

As someone who likes to dress a certain way, sumin knows what its like, but he has a tip; dress for you. When you wear things that make you happy, you often forget about the others around you, and their opinions. It also helps you stand out from the crowd. Wear what you like ♡

"I cant do any better"

Grabbing both of your hands, jinsik will give them a tight squeeze in front of the mirror, making you repeat the same mantras every morning. They may feel silly at first, but over time they help you convince yourself that you are worthy of whatever you desire ♡

"I dont have many friends"

First, hyunwoo will talk about the importance of friends. Friends that help you grow to become the better you and give you a good laugh. Friends that would never judge you for their own benefit. That being said, you need to eliminate the ones that dont actually care for you. Worry less about the quantity, and more about the quality. Who cares if you only have 3 friends? As long as youre happy and growing, thats all that matters ♡

"I'm not pretty enough"

Beauty is subjective. You may be insecure about one thing, but junghoon, 9 times out of 10, finds it really stinking cute. But what he feels doesnt matter, what others think doesnt matter. How you think matters!! So stop worrying about other peoples eyes and work on your inner self. If youre happy.. youre at peace, and if youre at peace, you start to smile. And thats very attractive ♡

"I'm not that smart"

"Why dont you think youre smart?" Seeun would ask, his chin resting against his hand. "Why do you want to be smart?" These questions may be dumb but they have meaning. We all have the ability to learn something. After all, life is about experiencing things and growing from it. It all just takes time, so dont stop believing in yourself, 'kay? ♡

"No one will miss me when im gone"

Although you may feel alone and think no one would care, yujun would care. Yujun would always care. But, stop worrying about the future, you know? Live your life in the present with no regrets. Every moment spent worrying is a moment spent not really living. When you obsess over that type of stuff, you are missing out on whats in front of you. And when you miss that, you wont realize the people who love and support you ♡

"I feel overweight"

Hunter will take you to the gym, but not just so you become 'thin' and everyone will accept you, to focus on being healthy, mentally healthy too. Focus on getting in shape with a well balanced diet and exercise program. Hunter will help! ♡

"People talk behind my back"

"Do you know that for sure??" Yechan would ask, poking his fork in his salad. "Because most of the time, its just an imaginary conversation you have in your head. Stop worrying what other people think and focus on your well being. But what you said is true, expect to see me at your school." He finishes, shooting you an innocent smile ♡

#xikers #kpop #xikers fluff #xikers drabbles #xikers imagines #xikers fanfic #xikers fanfiction #xikers au #xikers minjae #minjae xikers #junmin xikers #xikers junmin #xikers sumin #sumin xikers #xikers jinsik #jinsik xikers #hyunwoo xikers #xikers hyunwoo #xikers junghoon #junghoon xikers #xikers seeun #seeun xikers #xikers yujun #yujun xikers #hunter xikers #xikers hunter #xikers yechan #yechan xikers #xikers reactions #xikers headcanons

[dinoshimaaa]

Dont Know How

Childe has a crush. You just take the train every morning. (fluff, different colleges au)

masterpost - sher's bday

tag: @souglias

-

It’s 8.13am. Childe hastily makes his way towards the train station, hoping not to miss the next train coming in just two minutes. Manoeuvring between the crowds of commuters, he tries his best to not hurt anyone as he swerves and skip-hops and apologises to those he bumps into.

His efforts pay off very soon— the train is in sight, and it has just arrived at the platform. Now all he has to do it make it onto the train, and only that train, no other train—

He almost makes it. The end is near. The train approaches closer, closer and Childe is almost confident he can make it. Adrenaline rushes through his legs and it pushes him forward and faster. One more step, one less person to push aside. One less apology. One more chance.

And then his heart drops when the light at the door starts blinking, signalling that the train is leaving soon. The doors shut right in front of his face, just as he makes it to the gate, and all he can do is stare at the departing train in silence.

Childe’s sadness is covered up by his heavy panting— he doesn’t think he’d ever run this fast before. And now for what? The 8.15 train has left. What was the use of only eating a single slice of bread, hoping to make it to this specific train, if it was going to leave him anyway?

Sighing heavily, he turns his frustration into a comical pout. Hopefully it won’t feel so bad anymore. After all, it’s just one day. He can do a day without specifically boarding the 8.15am train. It’s no big deal. It shouldn’t be. That doesn’t mean that Childe doesn’t feel empty after seeing the train leave, though.

As though Lady Luck had decided to spare him a smile, he hears your voice from behind.

“Oh, you missed it too?” Childe whips his head behind, bewildered and confused. You appear behind him, panting in a similar fashion, with a sheepish smile on your face. He wouldn’t have believed it was you, that you also missed the train, not if he didn’t instantly recognise the extremely familiar blue narwhal keychain hanging from your backpack.

In an instant, all sadness is gone from his being and he smiles wider than he ever did for the past ten mornings. “No way, you’re late too! I thought you would’ve made it to the 8.15am train like you always have.”

“Got stuck on the toilet this morning,” you laugh in response. Your breaths slow down, a contrast to Childe’s increasing heartbeat. “Well, if you missed the train too, then maybe this isn’t so bad.”

“Not bad at all,” Childe smiles, his eyes turning unknowingly soft. Not bad at all if you are here.

The next train comes in a couple minutes and the two of you board it together, animatedly talking about your current lessons in the two different schools you two go to. Your old, grumpy biology professor who lost his cool when a student asked a simple question in class; the friendly janitor at his school who has way better music taste than all his friends; the boring assembly talk you got put through yesterday; all become topics of conversation while the two of you stand in the packed train together.

After seven stops, it’s time for you to alight to your school. Childe wishes he could spend a longer time with you, but he was already lucky enough to board the same train as you despite being late at first. Besides, he could just as easily board the same train as you when you leave school, no big deal. You step off the train, wave to him, and he waves back, hiding his lovesick smile from you as the doors close and the train moves off. The swinging of your blue narwhal keychain remains in his mind long after the conversation has ended. He’s sure everyone else in the train is aware of his giddy smile and red cheeks.

(Childe gets off at the next stop. He immediately takes the train going in the opposite direction, and alights at a stop he could’ve reached in just four stops away from the one he boarded at.

He reaches school when it is still mostly empty, and lessons only start more than an hour later. If his classmates ever asked why he came to school so early recently, he’d never give them a direct answer. After all, it would be embarrassing to admit to going to school earlier just to be in the same train with your crush from another school.)

#dinowrites #wasn't sure how to end this but welp #short today because it has been a stressful 2 weeks #writers block too lololol #genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #childe #childe x reader #tartaglia #tartaglia x reader #childe genshin impact #tartaglia genshin impact

[cowboyjen68]

Hi! I am a lesbian about to graduate and go off to college (I hope it’s okay I’m sending this). And was wondering if you had advice on safely navigating a new area as an lgbtq person, and how to not feel alone. I was lucky to grow up surrounded by accepting people, but I still feel like a sore thumb, and I am naturally a quiet unapproachable person. My fear is that I will go right back into hiding and maybe never stop. People say that it’ll be fine but it’s hard to believe them. I’m terrified.

It is ALWAYS ok to send me Ask. I say thay are always open and I mean it. I try very hard to get to them but right now I am behind and it truly bugs me. But we do what we can when we can and I am no exception to that rule.

I went to college is a small Missouri town, moving from a small midwest high school. Luckily it was pretty chill and liberal so while I met a lot of LGBT friends (or those exploring the notion) I was not ready to come out until after graduation. I had just moved to Iowa CIty to be closer to home and work and go to grad school. U of I is HUGE and sprawling and I was workng a new job (political fundraiser ie door knocker) that paid the bills AND gave me health insurance. It was 1991.

Even though I am outgoing and make friends easily it was a bit over whelming. I happen to move in with 5 gay men from my job and they introduced me to their world and friends. I had an "in" that eventually led me to have a larger friend circle. BUT here is my advice

FInd something you are interested in and join it. Theatre, yoga, Sci Fi, animal rescue volunteering. It does not have to be an offical club nor LGBT Centric. It also does not need to require a lot of time or money. Freshman year is a over whelming and exciting but making the time to do something you enjoy with others who enjoy it is a good way to at least form a circle of familiar faces around campus. Sad to say EVEN back in the 90's the "gay groups" I did attend (as an ally of course) were clique and awkward for me. I felt like the infringing new person. I hope that has changed, but I have my doubts.

There are some groups and activities that will have a concentration of LGBT people without that being the focus. Theatre, animal rescue, environmental, politics (be wary of echo chambers) and some intramural sports. Volley ball and softball, even coed will have a fair share of lesbians. But so might gaming clubs or frisbee golf. Dont forget about book clubs or Sci fi or Ren Fest groups. Once you make some connections with other who share some common ground with you, you might gain some confidence it making friends in the more narrow LGBT social or official groups.

What is really more important that a large friend group is a few people you can trust and get to know. Once you leave college many of your college friends will naturally navigate out of your life. That is normal and expected because it a time in life of drastic change and growth. But if you find that one or two who will be worth hanging on to you can work less on many people and put your energy into someone who does the same for ou. IF you befriend an extravert that is a bonus because she will make tsure you have social interactions whether you want them or not.

College people are just high schoolers a year or two down the road. Just people. Like you. Say "hello" and smile and ask to sit and chat. The worst they can say is "no" or "im not interested" but more often you will make at least an acquaintance . A familar face to see on campus as time moves on. Or you make a friend worth getting to know.

#college #friends

[thevoidisscreamingbackatyou]

player week prompt 1: "We're old friends. From her school days."

rating : gen, no major archive warnings i believe

characters: carmen sandiego, player(makes sense), and vera cruz. mentions of julia :)

disclaimer: i don't usually write stories so this is probably really bad im so sorry

additionally brain went no at the first prompt so my first ones an alt oof

i swear that these will get better.

...hopefully.

Player squinted at his phone, double checking that the address was right. He ignored that this was the fifth time he'd done this, and that it was most definitely the right address. 

After all, it was probably best to make sure that the orphanage where your best friend found their mother was the right one, since, y’know…it’d be kind of awkward to just go up to a random lady and be like, “Hey, I know your daughter” and have her not know which one you were talking about. 

He took a deep breath and smoothed his hair anxiously, still not ready to even ring the bell. He was possibly about to meet Carmen’s mom for the first time in the at least ten years he’d known Carmen, sue him. 

A couple of kids in the yard looked at him weird. Player did his best to ignore them, still extremely nervous.

Finally, his shaking fingers rose to ring the doorbell. The sudden ding! of the doorbell sound made him wince.

A pretty woman with hair the color of the red-brown soil appeared at the doorway, her eyes crinkled. 

“Hello. Who are you?” she asked.

Player fumbled for a second, then replied, “Uh, my name’s—---but you can call me Player. I’m…a friend of Carmen?”

“Oh! You must be the boy she talks about in her stories, then? How do you know her?” Carmen’s mother asked. While she seemed perfectly friendly, Player noticed the slightly hostile undertones in her voice. He approved. That wariness had probably kept her and Carmen safe when Carmen retired for a bit.

“We’re old friends. From her school days. Uh, but, I’m not part of VILE. Sorry,” Player said, automatically using his usual excuse before realizing that it would likely not go over well with whatever Carmen had told her mom.

Before either of them could say anything more, Carmen appeared behind her mother. 

“Player!” she exclaimed, seemingly excited to see her old friend. Player put out a fist and the two fist-bumped. 

“Didn’t expect to see you here, Red,” Player joked, and Carmen winked.

“Decided to go on vacation for a bit. You caught me a couple days before I was going to go meet Julia at her college, actually!” Julia had worked at ACME for a few more years before deciding that the siblings had it under control. Chief told her to do whatever made her happy, so she went back to being a professor. She was somewhat of an Oracle, helping out with cases from behind the screen.

“Come in, it’ll be better than standing out here,” Carmen urged, and Player smiled, stepping into the home that his best friend had found.

@playerappreciationweek i think this is how you do it? apologies in advance lol

also sorry i dont have ao3 so,,,hopefully this will do!!

#playerweek2023 #csplayerweek2023 #cs player #player cs #carmen sandiego 2019 #carmen sandiego #vera cruz #future au #(?) #aged up characters #by who knows how many years but its been a w h i l e at this point #dont ask me timeline pls bc i dont know either #i forgot everything about the ending despite seeing it a few weeks ago so this is probably really out of canon #also i love college professor julia and i couldnt leave her to be acme #forgot for a few seconds this was supposed to be completely gen and included julia x carmen oops #eh it was a sentence lol its gone now tho #cs julia #help idk her character tag

[cosmicdream222]

im literally kicking myself in the foot for not doing something more worthwhile with my existance... i never knew of manifesting until recent years and while society likes to say its never too late sometimes it feels like that is it too late cause to learn any skill you have to have already learnt the techniques then have good practice abilities on top of it, like you cant just waltz into a sport for instance and take a gold medal you have to do it step by step but to do that again im fucking regretting so much rn cant i just bash my head into a wall and slowly die? or music for instance cant just pick an instrument and be good at it right off the bat again shouldve just fucking picked something and stuck with it

also i never had the likes of tiktok or anything internet for entertainment when i was a kid so in a way it shouldve been perfect chance to really do smth but as always situations got in the way and im regretting existing a lot rn. like why so many ppl so good at their niches or whatever it is they choose to do and theres so much more available now than there was back then but i cant seem to pick a single damned thing that i could realistically do at my age and still feel accomplished bc id just end up feeling behind or regretting not doing it sooner

sorry for ranting abt myself there just if only there was time machine or a literal realistic way of shifting to another damned reality cause this aint it like why im wasting so much of it doing fck all? it should be shameful honestly but like at the same time its kind of impossible with current economy being so crappy

for instance if u want to own a business (which i would do if i could even afford one with my own money but then u got to ha e the job and the know how on running it) seriously my ancestors had so many more things that were successful in their lives and some did have businesses bc shops were affordable back then, education used to be affordable too and housing etc etc. id be more inclinced to then have a family of my own if that were the case but it is not soooooooooooooo then its like even if you want a bog standard job it can still take months just to get something basic. i once did manage to manifest a free bus ride and my teacher not coming to college for a few days but thats abt it. other than that lifes kinda average sadly its not the 1950s and elvis is still dead asf.............. not fair

the other thing that puzzles me and sorry for making this so long but if we are supposed to have had past lives a) why havent we known about it before now and b) how come some celebs dont reincarnate or do the celebs that pass away just get a free pass to heaven and decide to stay put? (in which case i wont blame them but its also not fair that i have to still exist... or fail to exist i should say)

My dude, I understand where you’re coming from and I have been where you are. But you say you wish there was a way to travel back in time or shift realities - there IS a way to shift realities, travel back in time, and live whatever kind of life you want. Seriously. That is the whole reason I created this blog!! So please read through all the information I’ve collected instead of just complaining ok? 😭

All of that stuff you mentioned about your current reality is an illusion. Time is an illusion. It does not matter what you’ve done in the past. The economy does not matter. Your present circumstances do not matter. Past lives only exist if you believe they do.

Look around tumblr at void, loa and shifting success stories. I have shared many of my favorites. People in very difficult circumstances have regularly completely change their lives overnight, wake up in new houses, shift to alternate realities, change their genders, change their ages, bring people back from the dead, to say the very least.

None of it matters because we live in the literal matrix - a VR simulation - and you can have anything you want NOW.

[axesilly]

i cant afford therapy so im going to talk about my troubles on here because i dont know what else to do 👍 i dont know if this will reach anyone but it might make me feel better. sorry if its a bit lengthy, ive had these feelings for a while

for the sake of anonymity and my own safety i will not be mentioning any names of people, towns, or schools :]

so im in college, im an art major. im from a small town with nothing to do except go to a mall the next town over and im going to college in another small town 5 hours away from home. this small town also has jack shit to do unless you drive 45 minute to an hour away. im currently in my spring semester of my freshman year and i have gotten so absolutely mentally and physically drained since i got a fast food job. i got a job making pizzas at yknow one of those big chain corporations pizza places, and the store i work at has only been open a few months. its absolutely chaotic and no one knows how to do anything except a few select people. my boss, the general manager, also doesnt know how to do anything because its his first time doing something like this. one of the other managers also only works there because hes friends with the general manager and he is not the greatest person, as he tends to sexually harrass the staff including a friend i made there. now ive already put in my two weeks last saturday, but that doesnt take away from how drained this job has made me.

Since the spring semester started ive been constantly piled with work (one week i was scheduled 6 days in a row when i had a big project to work on, i had a breakdown at work to my general manager), writing assignments, and project after project. (not even kidding my drawing professor gives us a new project the same day we turn one in) in my senior year of high school i loved fine arts and i believed that i wanted to follow in my art teachers footsteps and pursue my love of art and make art for my career. and while i do still love fine arts and making art, i just cannot do this constantly. since just before my spring break i started not going to my classes as consistently and i swore to myself i would start going again after the break. well that break just made it worse it seems because everything has just gone more and more downhill. i have still been missing classes because some days its difficult to get out of bed and i do not have the motivation to go to class just to sit there and not be able to pay attention for an hour/hour and a half. im behind on a project for one of my classes because i havent gone since ive been back from spring break (two weeks). i have an exam for one of my classes soon and im not even close to prepared. i had a 3 page essay due last night i started but havent finished (luckily i can turn it in a little late). it may sound lazy but these are my real struggles with my mental health. i feel trapped here. i do have a license and a car, i do have transportation so i can go places, but its such an old car it has so many problems (one which has arisen recently being if i stop somewhere and turn my car off, it wont crank back up immediately and i have to wait 10-15 minutes, and once it is on i have to revv it to make sure it stays on). so because of car problems and currently living in a small town im frustrated because it feels like i cant go anywhere to do anything fun. i feel trapped in my dorm and in my mind.

now comes the college problem. the college i go to currently is a nice school, i get 8 meals a week on my meal plan included in my tuition. theres several places to choose from the eat at, theres a gym, free health exams i think. but its driving me insane seeing the same old brick buildings every damn day. i currently dont have a roommate so im in a dorm by myself which probably contributes to this feeling of lonliness. i dont really have many friends, i had more last semester but they did not keep in touch. i do have one friend that i appreciate very much and she always worries and wants to help when she sees im upset. shes a real one. but seeing the same things, learning about the same repetitive lessons every single day, has driven me insane. my art history class has been the same topics since the start of the semester, its all been about works of art pertaining to jesus, and mary, and god and the angel telling mary shes pregnant and marys purity and this symbolizing that and i understand why its important to learn about these works of art and how they have shaped art today, but i cannot stand hearing the same things over and over. im not a christian, and i dont believe theres anything wrong with christianity as long as youre not hurting anyone with your beliefs, but these topics are so repetitive ever class i have. the semesters almost over and we havent even gotten to modern art yet, and in my opinion thats what truly matters to learn about because thats what we as artists would need to look at to have a reference for how we should make our art right? art is about expressing yourself and we need to see how others making art in the modern era are expressing themselves as well. and on the topic of expressing ourselves, my drawing class, every single project, my professor has us stick to such strict criteria. one of my projects my professor actually really liked, i liked, but she took points off because i had my girlfriends name written very small where you could barely even see, because we were not supposed to have any text. i feel like i cannot even be creative and truly express myself with these projects. i dont feel like i have any real freedom with them. i love fine arts and i love making art, but not when its like this. i want to be able to make my own art that actually expresses my feelings, not someone elses criteria. because of all of this my grades have been rapidly dropping.

now i have already made the decision weeks ago that i will not be returning to this school in the next fall semester. i discussed this with my mom already as she does the majority of my paperwork and things for this stuff. she wants me to transfer to a college closer to home so i can atleast get a general studies degree. but thats not what i want to do either. she told me not to flunk my classes this semester because that will make it difficult to transfer me to another school, but how do you expect me to get good grades when i constantly feel like im in hell in my mind. i mentioned wanting to maybe take a gap year, she doesnt want me to do that. school is horrible for my mental health like this, i dont understand why society thinks we should just have everything we want to do with the rest of our life figured out immediately out of high school. well i dont. and i dont want to stay in college immediately out of high school. i want to go live my life! me and my girlfriend are long distance (we have met in person several times and shes actually coming to visit me this month, but just seeing each other for a week at a time is not enough) and i really want to go live with her! i want to enjoy living and living with the person i love more than life itself! i currently dont feel like i can do that here or back home. i want to move somewhere else with my girlfriend so we can both be happy and love life. i want to move out of state to a slightly bigger city, nothing crazy like new york or atlanta, but just somewhere bigger than a small town with nothing to do whatsoever. i do have a place in mind but im not going to say where. and when i move, after a year i can qualify for in state tuition and pursue something that makes me happier. ive always loved animals and marine animals so i was thinking i could major in zoology and marine biology and work at an aquarium or something while im working on my degree. and i dont fully know how the paperwork and things work for transferring and such, especially after a break, so i could be in the wrong, but is it really wrong for wanting the best for myself?

and to be honest with myself i know exactly why im in college and its not to get a degree. i was raised constantly being compared to my siblings. my brother is trans (which my parents are very obviously not too fond of) dropped out of college and joined the military. my sister dropped out of college after a semester, got married to a horrible man who she just recently divorced after having two children with him. and being compared to them all my life, especially to my brother, made me want to be better than them. i wanted to be the one, as the youngest, to be the first one to get through college immediately, all four years, no problem. but its just too much for me. and dropping out, moving away, im terrified. im terrified that my parents will be disappointed in me. im terrified of that face my mother makes, that tone of voice, when shes disappointed in me for something. im terrified of getting lectured and told why everything i want is wrong. its irrational. and im terified if i move away i wont have her support anymore. i wont have her to lean on when i need help with something. i was never taught where to go or how to do stuff for applying to colleges and transferring. i barely know how to do my taxes.

now i really dont know what this article-like rant of a tumblr post is gonna do. i know i dont really have a following and i dont really post on here. but i just thought itd make me feel better to collect my thoughts and put them all together like this. so far the only people concerned about me have been my girlfriend and a couple of my friends ive told about these problems. not even my professors are concerned about me, i havent even gotten a single email or question about how im doing. they say theyre all for mental health but when a student stops coming to class as often suddenly and starts failing or not turning in assignments its none of their business and i must just be getting lazy and im a horrible student yknow? anyways i think thats about it for this. again i dont really know what this will do but i hope someone has advice or support or something. im going insane here.

love to anyone else suffering similar struggles <3

#college #mental health

[s0dium]

Tattoos 

Tattoo artist!Geto x Reader 

A/n: Idk ive been pretty depressed thinking about sad Gojo and Shoko since their best friend left so I wanted to make this as ‘fluffy/crack like’ in the beginning because I love their friendship. Also with so much tattoo artist geto out there I decided to make a fic! It was mainly inspired by this beautiful piece of work right I found but I forgot the account name 😭

Warning: College AU, tattoos, oral (fem receiving), public sex, fingering, squirting, begging, pet names

Synopsis: In which your friends convince you to get a tattoo.

Word count: 4.1k

“Come onnnn y/n get a tattoo with us”

Haibara pleads where incessant, even moving forward to clasp your hand in both of his and looking at you with wide eyes. 

“Yeah it will be fun, your only young for a bit anyways, might as well do something impulsive” Said Shoko, shrugging as she took a swig of beer from one of the many bottles scattered across the floor you were all sitting on. 

“I cant believe you out of all people are for this idea” You said as you looked at your room mate Shoko in disbelief. 

“Well she's gonna die from lung cancer soon anyways, viva la vida.” Chuckled Gojo earning a potato chip to be thrown at him. 

You weren't exactly the impulsive kind, and even though a decent amount of alcohol was pumping through your veins, the voice of reason in your head was still strong. You look down at your hand which was still in-between Haibara’s and pulled it away, shaking your head. 

“Nope, no way.”

All three of your friends groan in unison. 

“Aw come on y/n cant you squeeze out the stick up your ass just for a day?” Gojo whines and your about to go off on the man before Shoko speaks up

“Geto’s gonna be doing the tattoos, he said he’ll give us a discount.”

You pursed your lips and shot a death glare to your room mate. Damn, she knew your weak point all to well. Everyone and their fucking moms knew about your massive crush on a specific raven hair man in your friend group. And it wasn't like your affection was completely unreciprocated. Like how he’d give you his coat when you were cold, stay behind to talk to you while the rest of the group walked ahead, or even wink at you from across the room. But it never went pass that, teetering on the edge of something else but never quite making it. 

The room was envolped in a silence as everyone intently stared at you, waiting for your response. 

You let out a sigh and threw up your hands.

“For fucks sake, FINE! I’ll do it.”

“Lets gooooo!” Yelled Gojo, high-fiving haibara like they just fond the cure for cancer. 

“But to make it clear, im not doing this because Getos gonna be there.” 

“Oh yeah sureeeeee and Gojo opens up his ass cheeks to let the water in when he takes a shower.” Shoko rolls her eyes and leans over to grab a pack of cigarettes laying on the floor. 

“The fuck does that mean? My ass is spanking clean for your information.” 

“Not true, when ever you bend over I can smell the fumes wafting in my nose, I thought I was going to die once when you bent over to pick up a pencil.” Haibara pinches his nose and waves his hand, making Gojo lunge at him. You and Shoko were hunched over in laughter, desperately trying to catch your breath.

“LIES, IVE HAD MANY WOMEN TELL ME I HAVE A LOVLEY ASS”

~

The night air is cool against your skin, not so cold that its biting into you but instead immersing your warm body in refreshing waves. Despite it being night the cityscape was a constellation of LED lights and signs; lighting up the streets of Tokyo in a colorful array of hues. 

“I bet Gojo will tap out first, right y/n?”

Your brought back to reality when Shoko links her arm up with yours and pulls you close while the four of you walk to the tattoo shop.

“Oh please im a god, im like the second coming of Jesus Christ for fucks sake I DONT FEEL MORTAL PAINNNNNNN!”Gojo yelled on the top of his voice into the night sky. Though there was few, the people walking past gave strange looks making you roll your eyes at Gojos intoxicated state.

“OH YEAH? Then take a poop in front of us!” Haribara demanded with just as much vigor to match Gojo’s proclamation.

“And turn that poop into wine!” You added through a loud grin.

“TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE” You and Haribara chant on repeat, making Gojo flip the two of you off. Your so into it that you don’t even realize your at the shop and Haribara had stopped chanting.

“TURN THAT POOP INTO-……..oh.” Your face flushed a deep red when you felt all eyes on you and you harshly bit your lip.

“Yikes that’s embarrassing, for you.” Gojo snickered and you elbowed him in the side making him bend over dramatically in pain.

“Damn y’all dont know how to be quiet do you?”

You sucked in your breath when your eyes met the owner of the voice who stepped out from a curtain, and you couldn’t help but take in his appearance. Getos raven hair was tied in a messy bun, a singular lock of bangs falling over his eye brow piercing. He was wearing a black wife beater and black sweatpants, showing the multitude of traditional Japanese tattoos that covered his arms in a uniform sleeve. You could see how people mistook him for yakuza, his massive muscular body that towered over anyone with the added addition of tattoos made him look very menacing depending on how you took him.

He must’ve caught you staring because a shit eating grin spreads across his face.

“Hey y/n.”

“oh... hey?” You wave your hand at Geto, a stupid girlish grin on your face and in that moment you wanted to fucking punch your self from how absolutely dumb you sounded.

Getos attentions diverted to his side where two girls open the curtain and walked out. They were dressed in tight clothing, fabric hugging their curves and an intense amount of cleavage on display. It made you slightly concious of what you were wearing; a large grey sweatshirt and a short black skirt with black leggings. A pang of jealously courses through you but you quickly remind you self that they were obviously just clients.

“You two ladies are done, thank you for coming here.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to take a break and come drink with us? It’s too late to be working any way.” One of the girl pouts and touches his forearm, but geto quickly steps away and responds with a bright smile.

“Sorry ladies but I got new clients at more door step, duty calls.”

The girls huff and walk away, the door ringing as they leave the store.

“God damn maybe I should become a tattoo artist.” Gojo mumbles just loud enough so you could all hear and you roll your eyes.

“Don’t you get enough chicks?” Shoke moved to reach into her pocket to light the cigarette that dangled in between her lips.

“Nope. Never enough bitches.”

“Man whore” Haribara says in between a loud cough.

While the three of them shot remarks at each other you took the time to fully take in the studio. It was relatively big, with different parts along the side being sectioned off by curtains. The walls were plastered with rock posters and tattoo designs ranging from eccentric skulls too beutiful realism of geishas. The room smelled of intense cigarette smoke and weed, and loud music played from a speaker located somewhere.

A lamenated binder that sat on top of the glass counter caught your eye and you walk toward it, flipping through the content which were numerous amounts of tattoo designs.

“You see any you like?”

You slightly jump at Getos voice and look up to see he was leaning over the counter, face inches away from yours.

“I-uh, I don’t know, I want something simple probably, I’m no good with pain.” You stutter out.

“How about this then.” Geto points to something in the book and your eyes follow your his finger. It’s a small cherry blossom branch, the flowers are colored in a pastel pink and the lines are relatively thin.

“Oh wow yeah” you nod “that’s perfect.”

“Great, where do you want it?”

“Where’s the least painful place?”

“The ass” Geto deadpans and you choke.

“Seriously?”

“Nah I’m fucking with you, as much fun as that would be for me though.” Getos lazy grin has your brain running laps and you genuinely don’t know if he is joking or not about the last part. “In all seriousness I recommend the thigh, it’s easy to cover and all the fat surrounding the muscle makes it relatively painless.”

You nod, taking a second to contimplate before responding. “Ok then, thigh it is.”

Getos grin widens and you think you catch something glimmer in his black fox eyes, like he just caught you in a trap or something.

“Great, come with me.” Geto walks out of the counter and beckons you to follow him into the curtained room, but before you do a voice stops you both.

“Hey what about us?” Gojo yells while holding a struggling Haribara in a head lock.

“Sukuna and todou can take care of you guys, they should be almost done.” Geto gestures to the other curtains.

“You mean the Yujis brother with the face tats? Oh HELL NO he hates me! He keeps challenging me to a fight!”

“I’d be happy to do Satorus tattoo.” Says a deep voice that emerged from the curtains. You had seen Sukuna a couple times, and of course heard Gojo complain about him too. He was a big guy, similar build to Geto with interesting black tattoos along his forehead jawline and face. There where rumors that they weren’t actually tattoos but instead birth marks and you didn’t doubt that, something about them seemed too natural.

“Great, come on y/n” Geto hovers his hand over the small of your back, slightly pushing you past the curtains and into the room.

In front of you was a long black tattoo chair with enough room to put up your legs and a smaller chair on the side which was surly were the tattoo artist sat. Next to that chair was a small table which held the tattoo gun and an array of ink bottles.

“You can strip for me angel.” Geto said non chalantly.

“W-What?” You whipped around to face him, face engulfed in a flush red at the suggestion.

“You know, take off your leggings, can’t do the tattoo over clothes. I’m gonna print out the stencil while you do that, give you some privacy.”

Your mouth formed to shape a silent “oh” and you nodded, your embarrassment somehow doubled now.

“I’ll be back in a sec lemme just print out the stencil. I’ll give you some privacy”

You nod and as you watch him open the curtain to leave your ears perk up when you hear Geto mumble something barley loud enough for you to hear.

“Dirty girl.”

It takes a couple seconds to register what you just heard or if you even heard right, and before you could say something Getos already gone, leaving you completely speechless. 

~

“You ready y/n? Can I come in?”

Your bit your lip before responding, fiddling with the edge of your black skirt. There was a reason why you wore leggings under your skirt, what made you regret choosing the tattoo on your thigh. Because your skirt was short, really short. It barley covered the pastel pink panties you were wearing and if you looked from behind you could just see the crease from where the fat of your ass hung over your thigh. 

“Yeah you can come in Geto.”

You watched as the curtain parted and Geto walked in, holding a piece of transfer paper with your design. He glances at you, quickly looking up and down before situating him self on the stool next to the tattoo chair. 

“You can sit down.” Geto gestures to the seat.

There's a slight pang in your heart from how he barley pays any mind to you, like your panties weren't basically on display. But you quickly dismiss it.

Right he probably sees stuff like this everyday. He’s a professional, not someone who’d drool over you.

You scurry over to the chair, sitting so half of your body is laying flat while your upper body sat up right, head resting against the cushion. You let out a small squeal when you felt a cold cotton ball of alcohol run over your skin, and you watched as Geto laid the stencil on your upper thigh, peeling it off to reveal the design. The next couple moments of him preparing the tattoo gun pass by in a blur and you can feel your chest tighten up from the barrels of adrenaline that were currently building up through your body with every passing moment. 

“You ready y/n?”

You feel a gloved hand on your thigh and you look up to see Geto staring at you intently, waiting for your answer. 

You gulp and nod. “Yeah just... dont fuck this up, or I'll kill you.” A strangled chuckle escapes your lips to mask your shaking nerves. 

“Dont worry sweet heart” A reassuring grin spreads across Getos lips  “im quite good at my job.”

Your stupid ‘Geto-obsessed’ brain is too hung up on the pet name he just called you to register the buzz of the tattoo machine until you feel a slightly painful prickling sensation on your thigh. 

“Oh, shi-” You immediately bite your lip to contain your squeal making Geto chuckle, his eyes continuing to stay trained on your skin. 

“Not good with pain are we?”

“Depends on the situation.” You quickly retort, mind reeling when you realize the implications of what you just said.

“Oh? Is that so. Well dont worry, if it hurts too much after, I’ll kiss it better.” A smirk spreads across Getos features and his thumb on the hand that's holding your thigh starts to stroke your skin, making something sickly sweet pool in your stomach. 

Oh no.

Your mind immediately goes blank when you feel something warm excrete from your pussy. 

Were you getting off too this?

With the way your skirt was hiked up, you were praying that Geto couldnt see the small damp spot on your underwear, especially since the position he was in would make it extremely easy too. 

“Almost done, just have to do the color. Hang in there ok?”

You nod, your brain trying to find something to distract you from the feeling in your core and the tiny bee stings on your thigh. 

Your eyes land on the person in front of you, and its then you choose to take in Geto, like really take in geto. How his thin eye brows furrow from concentration or the way his fox like eyes remain trained on you, even to his black hair which was tied in a loose bun. Its then you realize just how utterly handsome Geto is. Sure you’ve been around handsome men before, as much you hate to admit it Gojo is a prime example. But there is something different about Geto that sets him apart from men like Gojo, like how his sharp features gives an air of mystery around him. Something that you cant quite put your finger on but what Geto exudes. 

“I can feel you staring you know.”

Your eyes immediately go wide and you quickly look away, your face flushed from embarrassment.

“Ah sorry.” You mumble. Maybe you should keep a count of how many time you could embarrass your self in one day, that would be fun.

“Nah, dont be.”

There's a silence, the buzz of the tattoo gun emanating through the room before Geto speaks up again.

“So what did you think?”

“Of what?”

“Me.”

You check Getos features to see if there is any hint of a joke or playfulness but his face remains concentrated on your skin.

“Oh well uh,” You clear your throat, racking your brain for what would be the best answer to satisfy the man in front of you. “Well your very.... pretty.”

Geto lets out a sudden laugh “Really? I though I was the handsome one and Gojo was the pretty one. Besides that's what im supposed to say to you pretty girl.” 

“You treat all your costumers like this?” You say with hesitance, apprehensive to what the answer might be.

“Nah, only the ones I find cute.”

Your mouth is moving too fast for your brain at this point.

“And are there a lot of those?”

Geto grins, sets the tattoo gun down and finally looks up at you, making your heart practically stop.

“Just you right now pretty girl. And im done by the way.”

There's a silence, just the two of you looking at each other, waiting for the others next move. 

Screw it.

“It hurts too much.” 

“Oh? It does?” His voice is dripping with playfulness and he sits up, taking his black rubber gloves off but not once breaking eye contact with you. 

“A-a-and you said-” The shakiness in your voice surprises you, but Geto quickly cuts you off saving you the embarrassment of repeating his words.

“I know what I said angel.” 

“So please-” 

He's towering over you now, putting his hand under your face to slightly tilt it upward.

“On it.”

Before you can form a thought, a pair of warm lips immediately clash with yours a fit of passion. His first taste of you is hungry and messy and desperate — his tongue exploring every inch of your mouth. Little whines escape your mouth but Geto hungrily swallows them up, a hand coming behind your head to press you closer. You are so eager to abide by him, lapping at his tongue with yours and tracing over his straight teeth. 

“W-w-we should go Geto” You say in between breaths before being pulled back into a brain melting kiss. You jump when you feel two fingers tracing over your panties and your once again reminded of the sticky substance dripping out of you. 

“Not when we haven't taken care of your problem yet, cant leave you high and dry baby.” Geto smiles at how you weakly nod, knowing the exact words to say to make you puddy in his hands. Slowly he pushed you till your legs are dangling at the edge of the tattoo chair. Then he kneels on the floor, pulling down your frilly pink panties and hoisting your legs over his shoulder so he is face to face with your cunt. Getos hot breath against you makes you shiver and when you realize just exactly where you are, how just a measly curtain is preventing all of your friends from seeing you in this compromising position, you try to shimmy away, but Getos strong hands on your legs glue you in place.

“Geto I-”

“Shhhh baby ill be quick I promise, just stay quiet ok?”

And your about to respond when you feel Getos warm tongue flatten against your clit and swipe up, making you slam a hand over your mouth to muffle your moans. He eats out your pussy like a staved man, tongue licking over every crevice and suckling greedily on your clit. He sinks his thumbs into your cunt and spreads, watch your folds drip with slick and your hole tighten before his eyes before diving right back in. Two fingers easily glide knuckles deep into your hole and curling deliciously to tap against your g spot. 

You immediately clamped down around his fingers due to the sudden intrusion. Your hips trying to get away from the surge of pleasure.

"Ah ah ah. Don't run away." He whispers, a sadistic grin plaster on Getos face.”Be a good girl and take it.” A hand flies down to hold his arm but it was hardly to pull him away, no this was just you needing to feel any part of him under your fingers. Geto grins as he returns to delicately sucking your clit  and rolling the bud with his tongue while two fingers bully into you. 

Soon a new type of feeling presses down on you, completely different from all the times you’ve touched your self. It has your body tickling with tingles of ecstasy like every energy core in your body was suddenly ignited.

“Mmm f-feels weird Geto I dont-” You quietly try to warn the man in between you but a particularly harsh thrust of his fingers into you as you harshly biting your lip to quiet your moans.

“You gonna cum baby? Cum for me.”

Your feet are kicking against Getos back as you try to fight the rising tide, the deep-seated dismay that comes with the very thought of him making you cum when your friends where so close making your stomach twist.

Soon the tension pressing against your core is too much, it has your writhing against Getos tongue until you finally fall, releasing a spray of liquid all over Getos face. He continues to lap up your juices, groaning into your pussy and mumbling something about how good you taste. 

When he finally pulls away, your left panting, a silver line of drool slipping past your lips and onto the leather chair. Your too lost in the after haze of your intense orgasm to realize that Geto had started to pull down his sweat pants until your eyes catch his dick spring out.

Its large, really large, your imagination doing no justice to it at all, winning in both girth in length the word impressive barley covered it. 

“Ah n-no we cant you said...” You protest meekly but Geto quickly cuts you off by pressing the mushroom tip against your fluttering cunny.

“I know what I said angel, but you look so pretty right now, just cant help my self.” He lets out a deep groan when he slips into your tight hole down to his balls, and your whole body jumping at the feeling of being so helplessly full. 

“G-geto~!”

Every vein on his cock dragged against your velvety walls, catching on your entrance as he pulled back before thrusting back in. his thrusts were deep, the tip of his cock reaching spots you could only dream of hitting with your fingers. His eyes caught how good you take him - the fat of his head have a hard time popping out with how greedy your cunny is being

"You are really .. a piece of work." There were veins popping on his temple as his cynical grin broaden before he pinned your body on top of the long chair and thrusting into you. Its all so overwhelming, the heat of his body, how the tip of his dick presses deliciously against your cervix of his breath in your ear. It has you a moaning mess, whining loudly about how good you felt, your worries of people catching the two of you becoming fleeting thoughts. Every time you tighten a surge of pleasure courses through your body.

“f-fuck– that’s fucking good.” he says between grunts. “You’re such a good girl, Y/N, my perfect good girl,” 

“So good- don’t stop, please don’t stop!” your babbling strung out of your lips without much of a thought other than how good he was fucking you, his thick cock driving in and out of your velvet walls. It was as if you were made for each other, your cunt sucking him in with each push and shove that hit at just the right spots.

“Not gonna stop till I fill you up-fuck, cum for me baby I know your close”

 The heat on your stomach is unbearable, you can’t take it anymore, it’s consuming you, driving you over the edge so fast that you can’t put a stop on it. Geto muffles your screams with a kiss, your pussy tightening so hard around him that he nearly has to stop his thrusts. 

“M’want your cum p-please.” You say as you pull back from the kiss, electing a loud groan from Geto.

“Fuck s-sweet heart.”

Your words make him chase his high with with renewed vigor until he feels his own release approach on him. His thrusts became sloppy, his hips stuttering before he stilled his hips flush against your pussy. His grip tightened significantly, a loud moan of your name slipping from his lips as his own orgasm washed over him. Geto cums in you, strings and strings of hot cum filling you up as he held you in his arms. It made your body shake, his load weighing at your stomach.

“Fuck,” you pant, needily searching for his mouth with yours, letting yourself melt against his body as you kiss him lazily, your tongue sleepily twining with his. 

“HEY YOU TWO DONE BONING IN THERE? CAN WE LEAVE?” Gojos voice yells from the over side of the curtain making you and Geto groan.

A/n: Im too lazy to write an ending

#geto x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk x reader #geto smut #gojo x reader #sukuna x reader #jjk smut #geto suguru #getou suguru x reader #toji x reader #toji smut

[polyghostfacehours]

bestie consider poly billy n stu with an s/o who makes snuff films but like they just found the vids hidden away while their s/o was out I JUST NEED TO GET THIS OUT OF MY BRAIN

,Ooooooh~ Love, love, love this idea. Dark!Readers are always loved and welcome. So implied Modern AU.

TW: Homicide. Torture. Dark!Reader.

poly!Ghostface w/ Reader who does snuff:

---

So if you make snuff, it can be assumed you don't have a problem with their darker proclivities.

As a matter of fact, that was how you guys got into the relationship in the first place.

You started as friends, slowly getting integrated into their college friend group. But your darker sense of humor, love of splatter films, and generally chill demeanor when it came to squickier stuff quickly resulted in you getting along more with them than the others in the group.

You guys quickly became the three musketeers. Where one went, the other two usually werent too far behind.

Surprisingly, it was Billy that was interested first. And this is largely due to how enthusiastic you are when it came to gore in movies.

He also found it endearing that you would complain about how fake the blood or gore looked, or explain how certain body parts would bend instead. As if you knew...

Huh. He chalked it up to you just doing your research. And you tell him as much when he asks.

Stu loves gore, so much. More so than Billy even. You're the first person besides Billy that he was okay showing his "art project" too: The mutilated dolls in his attic.

He does this behind Billy's back tbh, because Billy would think it was too big of a hint that they're serial killers.

But he did anyway and you loved it! Said you wanted to help him with it. He was over the moon.

Big discussion with Billy about bringing you into the relationship. They had never considered being poly before, but they knew they both wanted you and they still wanted each other.

You know that GIF of Tulio and Miguel saying "Both? Both. Both is good."? Yeah, its basically that lmao.

So, after a bit of time in the relationship, they noticed how accepting you are of...pretty much anything dark they let slip out and stuff.

And this is where Billy casually brings up murder in the same way he did to Stu originally. He was 1000% sure you wouldn't mind and figured he could bring you in.

It was risky, but a three person alibi would be invaluable.

You decline, because your MO was different, unbeknownst to them. But you were enthusiastic and encouraged them.

You couldn't believe your luck at finding two boyfriends who also love murder as much as you. The odds are low, but not impossible, and you're living proof.

So, Stu loves to try and spoil you, because Billy wouldn't let him unless it was food, but you always seemed to have your own large amounts of money.

When they ask, you just mention its your parents, like Stu, and that you just get a large college allowance from them bc they care about your education or whatever excuse.

They buy it, it's not unbelievable. Stu also has parents like them.

But in reality, you money comes from your snuff films and streams. You stream in Red Rooms on the dark web and your fans are veeery generous.

And the films you make sell for ridiculously high prices.

You don't tell Billy and Stu about it because you dont know how okay they'd be with literal torture.

They killed, but they never tortured (much), and you just weren't sure if it was too far for them.

So every time they ask to move in together, you deflect.

One day they're over at your place, and you decide to go pick up the pizza you guys ordered.

They snoop around a little, and find a bunch of unlabeled tapes. Pretty old school, but they find a VCR as well. Strange.

They pop it in, and they are floored. Absolutely shocked. You're in disguise and are using a voice changer of your own, but they could still tell it was you by your mannerisms.

You come back and they confront you.

"What the fuck is this. Why didn't you tell us?"

At first Billy is pissed. He trusted you with his and Stu's secret, and you couldnt trust him with yours? Wow, fuck you.

You explain to them everything, nervous as hell. You tell them you just werent sure about if theyd be okay with the torture aspect of it.

And they are, especially Stu. Billy isn't much for torture, but he doesn't care about anyone but himself and you guys, so who cares.

Stu is over the moon at the news, asks a lot of questions, and definitely wants to join in maybe.

Billy doesn't really care to join, because he has better shit to do, and he killed for revenge or necessity - not pleasure - and any pleasure he did derive was mainly from the psychological torture. But he'll help out with other stuff if you and Stu beg him.

It basically becomes you and Stu's thing.

Billy and Stu have their murder stuff, and you and Stu have your torture stuff. Now it's just a matter of finding something for you and Billy to do together <3

#billy loomis #stu macher #billy loomis x reader #stu macher x reader #poly ghostface #poly!ghostface #poly ghostface x reader #slasher imagines #slasher x reader #slashers x reader #poly!ghostface x reader

[latetaektalk]

love to hate you | jjk [vi, preview]

“when obnoxiously rich and spoiled frat boy jeon jungkook comes up to you one day and asks you to fake date him for money, you definitely should have said no. because before you knew it, you were going on insta dates with him and having lunch with his equally obnoxiously rich and spoiled friends.”

— genre: fratboy! AU, fake dating! AU, college! AU, rich kid! AU, enemies to lovers! AU, angst, fluff, sexual themes (later chapters)

— pairing: jungkook x female reader

— word count: estimated 80k for the entire series, 2378 for this preview

— warnings: none for this preview

— playlist: to be added

— a/n: i dont even know how to begin this because its been almost six months since the last chapter,, to make up for the long wait, ive decided to give you guys the entire first scene! i hope this can make up for the radio silence!! and once more, i would like to thank the wonderful @koocycle​​ aka lira for being a literal angel and not only listening to me cry abt this series but also beta reading for me!!

— coming monday, december 27th 2021

Jimin would say your worst trait was how judgemental you were. You would say your worst trait was how hopeful you were.

Because Jungkook was right.

Behind all of that cynicism and snark and eye-rolling, there was very much a part of you that was as hopeful as a child on Christmas Eve, believing and thinking of Santa as you fell asleep, excited to wake up in the morning for the presents under the trees.

You knew that kissing and sleeping with Jungkook was far from smart. You knew even as you did it, when you leaned over and grabbed him by his collar.

But you had done it. Because the truth was, you couldn’t help it.

Because kissing and sleeping with Jungkook meant you could forget. More importantly, it meant you could pretend. For that bit of time, you could pretend that he and you were something you were definitely not. It meant you could let that hope grow in you, that hope that maybe, somehow, all of this could miraculously turn out fine, that Jungkook and you weren't the bad decision you thought it was.  

It was nice.

It was nice to pretend, even if just for a short moment, that you had found someone who saw the not so perfect and not so great and not so picture-perfect parts of you and still chose to stay, someone who cared for you even if you told them your deepest fears and let them in on the shameful and pitiful pieces of you.

This was stupid, you realised. Putting all of that faith and hope into Jungkook. You should be more careful. Because you knew just how deceiving and cheating hope was, how having hope in someone was like loading the gun, giving it to them, and closing your eyes, waiting to see whether or not they would deliver the final blow. It was like playing Russian roulette. One wrong move and you would be done for.

Hope could kill.

And when you awoke to the ruffling and quiet cursing, your heart knew instantly, sinking in your chest. You hadn’t even opened your eyes. The shot rang loud in your ears. It hurt, but not nearly as much as it did when you finally looked and saw him.

His naked back was turned to you, tattoos running up his right arm and wrapping around his shoulder. He was sitting on the edge of your bed, leaning over to pick up his shirt. And as you watched him slip into it, you knew.

Jungkook was leaving.

He still hadn’t noticed he had awoken you, and you wanted it to stay that way. Because your eyes were starting to hurt and you knew it wasn’t the lack of sleep.

But before you could close your eyes and pretend to be fast asleep, he turned and looked at you, his eyes meeting yours. You couldn’t decipher the look, but it was enough to make you freeze, a lump forming in your throat that knotted it tight.

“Cabbage.”

His voice was raspy with sleep, and you hated that your first instinct was to tease him for it.

“Hey.” It came out slow. “You’re up.”

He smiled a small smile, the kind of smile that could make you melt. But you resisted, your hands tightening into fists at your side.

You wished you had put on clothes, feeling so goddamn naked and exposed in every way possible right now. Even with the blanket tightly wrapped around you, you thought he could see through you, see into you. And you didn’t want him to see you anymore. So when you straightened up, thankful you were anything but neat, some old clothes just in reach, you made sure your back was facing him.

“I was just gonna-” He pointed towards the door, and a part of you died inside. You wished he wouldn’t speak, wished he would just spare you of this conversation and just leave without a word.

You cringed at how small your voice was, on the verge of breaking, when you spoke. You hoped he couldn’t hear, hoped your shirt muffled the shakiness as you pulled it over your head. “Yeah, just go.”

You couldn’t look at him when you said it, gaze staying averted, vision beginning to swim. If you had just turned to him though, you would have seen the confusion crossing his features, brows furrowing together.

“What?”

Swallowing the knot in your throat was futile, but you tried anyway. It was getting hard to breathe with it lodged in there. You grabbed an old pair of sweatpants.

“I- weren’t you about—” The words wouldn’t quite leave you. You had to pull them out of you, force them to form. “—to go?” You swallowed, praying finality was swinging with your voice as you continued. “So go.”

You were desperate to sound cold and distant. Because you couldn’t let him know just how much this was affecting you, what kind of unimaginable power he held over you, power you never knew you had given to him until now when your voice was quivering and your eyes burning with tears. You wished you would be stronger, better at this, in control of your emotions just a little bit more.

You got up without another word, tucking a strand behind your ear as you pretended to clean up, grabbing the pieces of your costume and tossing them into the laundry bin before moving over to the two water bottles you had left on your cough, tracing the evidence of last night and throwing them all away. As if you could erase it all like that, like he and you hadn’t happened.

“Cabbage, do you-” There was a pause. You had your back to him. “Do you think I’m leaving?”

“Are you not?” The response came quicker this time, a little more stable too. You grabbed the cookies from the floor, not quite bringing it over your heart to toss them out. So you just put them on the coffee table, hiding them in the mess.

“Weren’t you just about to get dressed and dip?” There was an edge to your words, as sharp as a knife, ready to plunge and end it all. “Go before I woke up?”

You looked over your shoulder, thinking you would find something in Jungkook’s eyes that would confirm all of the fears you had and the assumptions you were making of him right this moment, that would satisfy something in you and make it easy for you to write him off. But when you saw the look on his face, the confusion and perplexity, you stilled.

“Y/N,” and you loathed how your heart rumbled in your ribcage when he said your name, “I’m not leaving.”

Jungkook stood up and took a step in your direction. But when you backed away, he stopped, face twisting as if he had just physically run against a wall full force, knocking out on it.

“Unless you want me to, of course.”

You could hear the disappointment in his voice, and all you could do was stare at him.

“But I’m not leaving. I just-” He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, voice growing quieter when he spoke again. “I was just gonna go out and surprise you with the cookies I promised you. Remember when I stepped on the-” He stopped, sighing. “I just thought I could sneak out without you noticing and then come back and-”

You hated him.

You hated him so much because his words could do things to you they shouldn’t be able to, tear down any attempt of a defence you had built up to bits and pieces, make you relinquish all of the power over your mind, your heart, yourself. You hated him so much because he could make you load the gun and hand it over to him without him even asking for it.

You hated Jungkook so much because in reality, you didn’t hate him at all.

You crossed the distance faster than he could realise it, your arms wrapping around him so tight, he thought you wanted to suffocate him. You knocked the air straight out of his lungs.

“Cabbage-” He didn’t continue, sensing the shift in the atmosphere. He didn’t understand, but he knew to stay silent. Jungkook hugged you back.

Goosebumps graced his skin, and you held onto him even tighter, eyes screwed shut. His muscles tensed under your touch, and you would have made some stupid comment if you weren’t feeling as much as you were right now. His heart was beating under yours, every beat loud and clear, his chest rising and falling with each breath. He was warm and comfortable. You knew you could fall asleep in his arms.

You found it again, that same sense of peace from last night.

You found it again in his arms.

He wasn’t leaving.

It hadn’t been foolish to have hoped, and for that, you couldn’t even begin to put it into words just how much that meant to you.

“Thank you,” you mumbled into his skin, and Jungkook hugged you tighter. He wasn’t sure what exactly you were thanking him for, so he just kissed the top of your head, mumbling for you not to think about it.

But you did think about it.

You thought about it every night.

Thought about what it might just mean, him staying. Thought about if maybe, just maybe, somehow his words, the three words he oh so liked to tell you, were true.

When you pulled away, gaze finding his, features soft and tender, you pressing your lips to his was the last thing Jungkook expected you to do. The kiss was slow and calm. It was delicate. The opposite of what you had shared last night. There was no rush at all, no need to prove anything to anyone, no desperation or fear that this might just be over in a second.

He put his hands on your waist, pulling you close to him and leaning into you, chasing your lips. You smiled, quieting the part of your brain that told you that you shouldn’t be doing this, that you should be talking about the fact that he and you had slept together and were kissing now when you were merely supposed to be fake dating one another, supposed to keep this professional and solely business.

When you parted, your breathing heavy and your mind clouded, and you looked at Jungkook, you felt something between your ribs. It was weak, but you had an inkling it was about to grow stronger, and soon enough, all-consuming. There was no stopping it. You were in the middle of falling, going down the deep end. You just had to wait to see if by the end, the landing would be graceful or bone-crushing; wait to see if by the end, you were wrong and the gun was going to go off.

“I-”

You should explain, you were aware. But you couldn’t, the words breaking in your mouth. And when Jungkook whispered, “I know.”, your inability to speak, it was fine, a mutual understanding established.

You were giving him nothing, at most scraps and pieces. But for now, it was enough.

You pulled him closer and buried your face in the crook of his neck. Closing your eyes, you hoped Jungkook knew what you were trying so desperately but pathetically failing at saying. (Not that you knew what you wanted to say anyway.)

And for a while it was quiet.

“I think,” he began, whispering, “we might have broken a rule, cabbage.”

“Did we?” you mumbled and pulled away to look at him.

He nodded, feigning a frown, as if worried about the consequences that might follow from this rule break. “We did. Rule three.”

“Remind me again which one that is-”

And when Jungkook wrapped a hand around your neck and tilted your head upwards, you knew. But it was too late. He pressed his lips to yours. You almost started laughing. He was an idiot. An idiot you enjoyed kissing a bit too much.

When you parted, he was grinning.

“Right, that one.” You cleared your throat, a poor attempt of yours to gain some composure and to calm your thumping heart. “I remember now. Thanks for that... reminder.”

Your words came out breathless and short.

“Always happy to refresh your mind,” Jungkook smirked. “What do we do now?”

You feigned contemplation, letting out a long sigh and puckering your forehead. “Well,” you began, “technically, I didn’t break any rules.”

He raised a brow, and you took that as a sign to continue, a proud smile forming on your lips.

“Technically, only you,” you dug your finger into his chest for emphasis, “couldn’t kiss me. So technically, only you broke a rule.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes at you. “You’re such a smartass-”

“So technically, I could kiss you.”

You could pinpoint the exact moment your words clicked with him, something changing in his eyes.

“In that case,” he leaned into you, his lips ghosting over yours, “please kiss me again, cabbage. And please,” he was pleading, tightening his grip around your waist, “never stop.”

Your heart skipped a beat.

“You know,” your voice was a low whisper, and Jungkook listened to your every word, soaking up every syllable, “rules are meant to be broken, right?”

He stilled for a second, eyes turning hazy. The next thing you felt was his lips on yours, his hands gripping you tight and pulling you closer to him.

There was a sense of urgency in the way Jungkook moved his lips against yours, almost as if he feared you would change your mind any second. You smiled into the kiss. The thought that this insecurity might just be swirling around in his head, it was funny to you. Because you wouldn’t. You would never change your mind, you knew that now.

And even as you were sure that you were sealing your doom with this kiss, that the landing was going to be bone-crushing because there was no possibility of this ending gracefully, the cocking of the gun ringing in your ears, you pulled Jungkook closer to you.

You hoped you were wrong.

coming monday, december 27th 2021

#jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fanfic #bts scenarios #bts x reader #bts fluff #bts angst #linh.preview

[littlemisslipbalm]

“it’s not that important”

Summary: Y/N is in Harry’s band and one night they have a drunken hook up. One thing leads to another and they find themselves engaging in a friend’s with benefits type of situation. spoiler: it is important

AKA: A friends with benefits to lovers story :) with some angst in there

This is for @stylesharrys fallinharry10k celebration so my trope is friends with benefits! prompt is “you have no goddamn idea what you do to me. when i’m around you, i have no control of my emotions or my thoughts” and the tenth picture ^ i kinda just used it in the beginning to descripe what he was wearing - i got really carried away with this story but the prompt is in there !! lol, not proofread tho but would love your feedback !!!! :) love y’all very much 

oh boy i’ve had this done for agesss but i hadn’t written the smut until today so now we’re here i dont even remember what happens - i vaguely remember not loving the end but I hope yall enjoy

Word Count: 15.4k (longest fic to date) | Warnings: smut, angst, fluff, alcohol consumption? i dont remember but i dont think theres anything too heavy in here.

-

“Hey Harold!” You smile as you easily hop over the side of the couch and settle beside your bandmate.

Harry groans, yet can’t keep the small smile off of his face when he sees it’s you. “How many times have I told you to never call me that?”

Your eyes narrow at his faux glare. “And how many times have I told you, I simply do not care?” 

You reach a hand out and tousle his already disheveled, unstyled brown hair. Despite his lack of styling, his hair still looked perfect. His chestnut hair fell into a middle part when he did nothing to it and you found it endearing. It made him look far younger than he truly was, like a boy you might have pursued when you were in your early days at college. The waves slightly framed his prominent cheekbones and chiseled jaw that was sporting a tiny amount of stubble.

He moves his arm from around the back of the couch to pat at his hair, trying to put it back in its nondescript position you had just messed with. After he’s satisfied, he uses the same hand to push up his glasses on the bridge of his nose. They’re chestnut brown Gucci frames that match the natural highlights in his hair. You can safely assume that’s why he bought them. The lenses are clear, but you know they don’t hold any prescription. He looks incredulously at you from behind them still.

“Nice glasses,” you mention offhandedly as you reach out to the coffee table to grab the drink you had left there earlier.

Before Harry had arrived, you had been taking up residence on the couch, in the spot he had actually taken up. You had ventured to the restroom for a moment and gotten held up in a conversation when asked your preference for the Beatles. Having to defend your staunch stance for the Beatles and against the Rolling Stones, you had gotten swept up into an argument with Adam. He believed that because the Rolling Stones toured for longer warranted them the title of best rock band. While you countered that despite their long touring and production of music, the Stones had a rotation of members. The Beatles maintained the four of them and held such a large impact even though they were barely together for a decade. They were one of a kind, or at least the first of their kind, you’d allow. You weren’t really in the mood for intellectual conversation tonight, so upon seeing Harry taking up your seat, you had told Adam you’d continue the discussion at a later date and returned to your spot.  

“Thanks,” Harry mumbles as his gaze flits around the room. He wasn’t sure if you were actually complimenting him, but he would take it as one either way.

The rest of your friends are all up and about, drinking, talking, dancing. It was the usual house party scene: a relatively intimate gathering, music you all actually liked, some friends of friends feeling slightly out of place. There was no pressure in this type of gathering but still Harry wasn’t necessarily in the party mood tonight. Usually, Harry was the one instigating these types of get-togethers with his friends and bandmates. He liked to be the life of the party, but as the tour loomed closer and closer, he felt some tinge of longing for quiet and solitude. He knew he wouldn’t have much quiet while on the road, which mostly didn’t scare him. He loved the stage and the high he received from performing and the gratification he felt from all the people in the room being there to see him. But there was also that other part of him that liked the quiet, the privacy. As the lack of alone time nudged itself around the corner, he had been hoping to enjoy solitude, or at the very least peace before he was on the road. Some sort of blissful state before technical chaos ensued. When Charlotte, the host of tonight’s soiree, had texted their group chat about tonight, Harry had politely declined. Then came the slew of private texts from Charlotte giving him all the reasons he should come tonight. He tried to say no again, but had shown up after the continued begging from her.

His appearance mirrored his expression, choosing a not perfectly fitted white t-shirt and random trousers rather than picking something he really loved, like usual. You could tell something was up and as his friend you were wondering what was wrong with him.

“Don’t sound so excited, Harry, someone might mistake you for somebody who’s happy to be here.” You stick your tongue into the side of your cheek, gauging his reaction.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re not very funny?” He quips, green eyes flashing to meet yours.

Your banter is probably how the pair of you communicated the best, never really falling into the whole serious side of friendship. You never shared those late night talks about the future or your fears. It was a fun friendship, so you didn’t fancy yourself one of his closest confidants. When it came to music, you and Harry were a bit more serious which formed a sort of paradox because the music you would share with each other gave a far greater insight into your souls than you probably realized. As a member of his band, you would discuss his music and what was going on with that sort of business part. But the sharing and discussion of other music that you did was part of your friendship, even if you didn’t see it like that. Because of the countless albums you had recommended to each other and the specific songs you had made note of, Harry and you knew each other much better than you thought you did. Music connects to something deep inside yourself and you have to like it enough and know the other person well enough to believe that they will also enjoy it to recommend it. As much tongue and cheek that you partook in with Harry, deep down, unbeknownst to either of you, you were that friend he shared his hopes and fears with, through the way he knew best, music.

“No, most people find me hilarious...”

You take a sip of your drink, trying to cover up the sting that his remark actually left. Most of the time you were great at keeping up with anyone’s banter, especially Harry’s, but tonight you weren’t feeling it. His tone had sounded so harsh it almost sounded like he meant it. His features soften when he sees the way your face falls, despite your sarcastic tone.

“‘M sorry. I’m just not in the best mood tonight. Didn’t want to come, but Charlotte…” He shifts to face you, arm retracting slightly around the couch, landing his hand at the edge of your shoulder. His fingers fiddle with themselves absentmindedly, he turns his rings around his fingers and they ever so slightly brush against your shoulder. You don’t mind, you know its his nervous tick that he did whenever he didn’t have something to clink them against.

“Yeah, same here, actually.” Your tuck an out of place hair behind your ear, returning your gaze to Harry, who’s tilting his head at you curiously. “But might as well make the most of it, though. After all, this is our last week before tour starts.” You raise your glass and tilt it towards him before taking a sip.

You really didn’t have a plan, you were just trying to make him feel a little better. It was seldom you saw him so solemn at this type of gathering. He usually was the one bouncing from group to group, entertaining everyone with his dazzling charm and quick wit. Sometimes he would bring a date and spend the night with them in the corner, but that was usually at bigger parties than this. At these types of gatherings you often found yourself talking with Charlotte for most of the night. You were both new additions in the band and you had clicked immediately. You would travel in a pair between different groups and talk with everyone. Sometimes you would tell a humorous anecdote about your life and everyone would laugh wholeheartedly. Your ability to retell a story and make it hilarious every time seemed to be your secret talent. You could make any experience into a ten-minute retelling and it always sounds like the funniest moment of your life. It ranged from your embarrassing audition for Grease as a tween to your supermarket run in with an old acquaintance or B-list celebrity the day before. It didn’t matter what it was, it just always had the entire circle of people laughing and wiping their eyes with joy. You’d laugh a little with themselves, but usually you just had a triumphant smile on your lips for the rest of the night.

He nods, sipping his own drink for the first time since you had settled down beside him. “Well, I’m all ears.”

“What?”

“Give me your suggestions on how to make the most of tonight.”

“Drinking, mostly, was my plan,” you laugh nervously as Harry continues to stare at you intently.

“Mostly?”

“I mean, what do you want me to say? I didn’t think to pack my bouncy castle, my bad.”

He bites back a laugh but lets some air escape his defined nose, before staring with a deadpan face at you.

You like to tease him. You simply liked him. Harry was different from other men you knew. You were pretty sure most people could say that though. Harry was just different. It seemed like no one could not have some sort of affection for him. With the playful friendship the pair of you had, you always skirted the edge of flirtation. But you also didn’t particularly ever want to cross any lines with him. He was the employer of you, technically. He had brought you into his backing band and you wouldn’t do anything to harm that position. As well, at the end of the day you knew Harry. His tendencies and the choices he made.

When you were around him at parties like this, you had to try really hard to keep him at an arm’s length. Because on one hand, you would drink and suddenly the boundaries you put up didn’t seem that important, instead his lips started to look rather inviting, but on the other, you knew that he was extremely emotionally closed off to any relationship that was more than either friendship or a one night stand.

Harry doesn’t give you a response, just swings back his drink. The pair of you sit and drink in silence. Before you know it, Harry and you are five drinks in, finally talking after the second. The pair of you decide to move to the balcony outside and continue your conversation there after the third. After the fourth, you're getting really handsy and by the end of the fifth, Harry’s arm is wrapped tightly around your waist and you're laughing breathlessly into his neck. It looks like he’s just shielding you from the cold night air, but both of you seemed to be enjoying each other’s embrace for other reasons.

Finally catching your breath, you lean back and pant softly as you meet eyes with Harry. His pupils have blown out from the alcohol and dark light. The emerald green barely surrounds the black and you swear there’s flecks of gold or maybe brown in them. Your brows scrunch at the revelation and Harry asks what you’re thinking. You don’t respond, too entranced and drunk to even hear him.

“Oi,” he bops your nose, “What is goin’ on in there, little lady?”

Your hand reaches up and widens Harry’s eye manually. His inebriated state has no qualms about you doing such an odd thing. “Why’s your green not actually green?”

“What?” He asks before moving your hand away from his face, it instead falls to his chest. The pair of you shift until your caged between his body and the balcony’s ledge. You pout as you stare up at him. His skin looks soft and taught over every inch of his face and neck. The urge to kiss him keeps nagging at the back of your mind. The idea keeps creeping up closer and closer and the drunker you are the less likely you are to suppress it.

“Do you want to fuck me?” You blurt out.

“Sure.” Harry isn’t taken aback. He had been thinking about asking for a while, so he was glad you had asked first, made it easier for him.

“Okay, let’s go.”

He takes you back to your place, the pair of you catching a cab the short distance between yours and Charlotte’s flats. No one blinks an eye at the pair of you leaving together. Everyone watched the pair of you sulk all night about being there and only enjoying the other’s company, so they weren’t keen on either of you staying. Charlotte was simply glad the pair of you had stayed for as long as you did.

The two of you walk casually until you’re inside your bedroom. Once inside, Harry throws you on the bed and fucks you. Hard. He’s got you spread out in more ways than you had ever thought possible. He’s got you saying things you had never even dreamed of saying. And he’s got you cumming and screaming more than you could have ever wanted. He enjoys himself as well. He loves the way you feel around him and the way your eyes look up at him while he fucks you straight into the bed. He loves the way you sound whispering dirty things and screaming his name. He loves the feel of your soft skin all over your body as he pushes deep inside you. He loves the way you’re able to rip a guttural moan from him every time he cums. And he cums three times that night. While it wasn’t quiet, he did find that blissful state he had been in desperate need of.

After the third round, Harry feels spent. He brings himself into a sitting position, legs hanging off the edge of your bed. You’re lying in your bed, completely overstimulated, cumming at least twice as many times as Harry. He scratches at the top of his head, his bicep bulging as he folds his arms around himself.

“That was fucking good, Y/N. Just what I needed.”

You can only hum in response.

Then he takes your blanket and lays it over you. After that he begins to stand up, getting ready to grab his things and go.

“You don’t have to go…” your voice raises when you realize what he’s doing.

“Yeah, I do. This was just a one time thing, yeah? I enjoyed it, but you know...”

“Erm, I guess?” You rolled to fully look at him, he was pulling his t-shirt back on now, his marked chest disappearing beneath the white fabric. “Do you really not stay over at your one night stands?”

He thinks about it as he begins with his shoes and his glasses at the same time. “Yes? Usually I don’t know the person and I don’t particularly want to sign an autograph when I leave in the morning. Best to leave immediately afterwards.”

“That was exactly why I wanted you to stay...Shit! No chance you’ll give me an autograph now? Could sign my tit, right next to your hickies.”

He laughs, automatically in a better mood after the catharsis of having sex. It was also a relief for him that you didn’t seem to be weird about the hook up. “Shut up!”

“You’re a twat, Harold.” He groans instinctively at the annoying nickname, not caring about the ‘twat’ part. “But be my guest, you can freeze your arse off while waiting for your cab outside at this hour.”

“Rude..” He mutters, standing in your doorway now. “You wouldn’t actually make your employer stand out in the cold at this time of night. I haven’t even got a jumper. Could get a cold and ruin my voice. ”

“You’re the one who says it’s best to leave immediately. Get on it, mister.”

Your hand makes a shooing movement, but he doesn’t budge. You sigh as he makes a puppy dog face - eyes wide and a puckered pout with his flushed cheeks and lips - playing into your actual kindness, that he knows is somewhere. Your sweetness that you were keeping hidden from Harry right now. Nothing was serious between you so it made sense that you were trying not to let your innate ability to care show as he’s about to walk out on you.

“Ugh, fine. Stop looking at me like that. Just grab one of my coats from the bottom right, they’re all oversized so one should fit.” He doesn’t relent on the face. “And you can stay inside until your cab comes.” You sigh and throw one of your pillows at him. He catches it easily and throws it back, much softer than your throw. “Also never pull the employer card on me again when I’m naked in the bed you just fucked me in,” you call as he looks through your closet.

Returning with a patchwork coat you had thrifted tight over his shoulders, he looks at you seriously, “Yeah sorry about that part. Definitely wasn’t trying to exert my power over you, it sounded better in my head. Meant more like you could ruin my voice and both of our jobs.”

You nod and chuckle slightly, finding how inarticulate Harry could be as an endearing trait. His explanation didn’t actually make it sound better. “The jacket fits.” You say, choosing to move forward from Harry’s weirdness, knowing he didn’t mean any harm from his initial statement.

“Yeah, thanks. I think my cab is here,” He glances at his phone, “So I’ll go...See you?”

“I’m sure.” You smile, “We do in fact work together and will soon be touring the world. Would be a bit weird if I didn’t see you.”

“Right.” He nods and adds a peace sign before he walks out of your sight. You know he’s gone when you hear the door click shut. What an interesting night.

-

Love on Tour had just started and Harry couldn’t lie. He couldn’t keep his mind off of you. You were both his most recent partner and the best he had had in a while. He found himself rubbing over the spots on his neck and clavicle that you had given particular attention to during the night you had shared together. When he went to bed it was your body he pictured to get himself off. So, after the first show he’s beelining to you at the beginning of the after party. He’s got an adrenaline high and he needs a release. You’re the solution. He’s whispering in your ear, asking if you’d like to meet him in his dressing room. Your eyes study his face when he pulls back and they widen slightly when the realization of what he’s implying dawns on you. Then you’re nodding and excusing yourself from a random conversation five minutes later.

Inside Harry’s dressing room, you find Harry already unbuttoning his shirt. He grabs your face and shoves his lips onto yours once you lock the door. As he kisses you he tries to make one thing very clear, “This doesn’t mean anything.”

“Got it.” You begin to finish Harry’s job of taking off his shirt.

He pulls back to look you in the eye, “Are you okay with that?”

“Jesus fuck, yes, Harry, just shut up and fuck me senseless again!”

He listens to you and begins to kiss down your jaw and neck. His open-mouth kisses leave a searing trail across your skin. He settles on a spot at the base of your neck and begins to suck and nip at it with vigor. You set to work on finishing his job of unbuttoning his shirt. Then you pull off your own shirt, reaching behind you to untie the bows at the back. The new skin exposed grabs Harry’s attention and he moves down to suck over the cleavage of your tits. He’s happy to be back with his ‘bosom friends’. You smack his head when he says it and he chuckles darkly, only sucking harder on them causing you to moan louder than you would like.

Once you’re both in only your underwear, you find your back pressed up against the mirror behind the dressing room counter. Harry’s body is nestled between your spread legs as he kisses down your skin. His fingers dance along the line of your thong as he looks up from beneath his lashes for position, you only push his head closer to your heat in response. He laughs mischievously before tugging them down off your hips.

“Missed this pretty little cunt...All I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout,” He mutters as he begins to latch onto your dripping core.

Your brows shoot up at the thought that Harry’s mind has been stuck on you for the past week. You definitely had thought about your drunken hook up a bit, but hadn’t thought it had left a lasting impression on Harry, you assumed he had that lovely of a night with every person he chose to spend intimate time with. These thoughts are forgotten when Harry’s warm tongue is lapping at your swollen bud. You’re already panting for Harry and now you’re heaving with moans and whimpers leaving your mouth with every lick and nip of his expert mouth.

“Fuck Harry, feels so good,” you whine as his tongue travels down your folds and swirls and dips into your hole.

He moans at your words and the way your legs squeeze at his head. His hands move to spread you open wide to maintain his control and he smirks at the way your body rolls due to the friction of his voice against your pussy.

“Be a good girl f’me,” he growls still pressed against your wet heat.

Your body rolls again as you get closer and closer to your first release. Your bite your lip trying to contain all of the sounds that are trying to escape your mouth. Harry notices the new silence and glances up seeing how you’re trying to behave. As much as he likes you obeying his words, he also wanted to hear how he was pleasuring you.

“Tell me how you feel, princess,” he demands.

“So-so good,” you hiccup as his fingers caress over your folds now as he looks you in the eyes, his lips wet with your slick. He kisses you hard, his tongue diving into your mouth and you kiss back passionately, loving your taste on his tongue.

He pulls back and your hands trail down his chest, swirling around his familiar tattoos and hair that grace his lower torso as you move. He grins, enjoying the feeling of you on him and how he was affecting you.

Soon enough, his cock is finding its way back to your glistening folds, wet with your own liquids as well as his saliva. His mouth waters at the sight. He only pushes into you a few times like this. Then he catches sight of himself in the mirror in front of him and can’t resist. He pulls out and flips you over, your squeal leaving your mouth before you can stop yourself. His dick finds your entrance once again, not wanting to be without the wonderful warmth for any longer than he must.

“Ahhh,” Harry groans when he slips back inside.

Your head throws back on your neck, the feeling of him as well as the sight of him gripping your hair in one hand and your fleshy hip in the other. His rings dig into the skin as he’s able to slam more forcefully in this position. You gasp and whine at his motions. The sounds coming from between your legs are turning you on even more and they seem to make Harry happy too. He picks up the pace and drops the grasp of your hair for a second. Your head falls down as you try to keep yourself up on your elbows.

Gripping both of your hips, Harry growls, “Look at me while I fuck you. C’mon now.”

You moan in response and tear your eyes open to see your reflections in the mirror. One hand goes up to hold onto the mirror to give yourself more traction, causing your back to arch even more. The new position has Harry’s cock slamming into you deeper.

“Fuck!” Harry practically yells and can’t keep himself from landing a harsh slap on your ass. You jump forward at the sting but his other hand keeps the pace steady. He keeps burying himself into you all the way to his base, his balls slapping at your now slick spread thighs. He rubs over the red handprint he had just left on your ass. You whimper and bite your lip, truly enjoying the sensation.

Still staring into the mirror as Harry commanded, your eyes water slightly and Harry makes eye contact with you through the mirror. You smile widely and he grins back. “This feels so fucking good. Your pussy takes me so well. Fuck…” Harry babbles, still pistoning into you. You had noticed how vocal he was the first time you had fucked, but thought it had just been the alcohol. Apparently not. But you didn’t mind, you much preferred it to partners who barely spoke or didn’t even moan. Like how were you supposed to know what was going on in their minds? With Harry, you knew he was having a good time.

A few more heavy thrusts and you felt yourself nearing the edge. Your panting was getting faster, exceeding the speed of Harry’s thrusts and he could also feel you were close. Your cunt began squeezing him tighter so he hooked a hand under your knee and brought it onto the table. He hunched over you slightly and snaked his hand to your clit. “C’mon darling, I know you're close. Can feel that little cunt putting a choke hold on my cock.” He rubs at your clit with the vigor of strumming a quick paced song on the guitar. It’s enough to overtake your senses and the laugh that had bubbled from his words turns into your orgasm moan. You try to muffle it into the arm that is holding you against the mirror to avoid a full on scream because it feels that good. You felt like you were having your first ever orgasm, it felt that new to you.

A few more thrusts and you’ve come down from it, but Harry still hasn’t finished. It’s your turn to be the partner coaxing the other to get off. “Faster, Har. Want you to cum too.” He grunts, picking back up the pace. He had slowed to let you ride out your stay. “That’s it...want you to cum in me. Your cock feels so fucking good.” You whine, meaning every word. He smiles again at you and closes his eyes, focusing on chasing his high. You watch as his smile widens to that open mouth grin, “Fuck,” he almost whispers. And there it is. There’s a twitch in his hips that mirrors his expression and then he’s pulling out and cumming on your back. His voice is now even lower and raspier than before as he babbles how good that was and how tight your pussy was. It was sweet nothings, but extremely explicit and you sighed heavily, feeling a small orgasm wash over you again. His final thrusts and voice pushing you off the cliff again easily.

The two of you take a minute to bring your breathing back to normal and Harry goes to clean your back off.

“So..how do you feel about maybe doing this regularly?”  Harry asks sheepishly as he begins to pull his pants back on.

“Like a friends with benefits kind of thing? Or bandmates with benefits, rather.” You laugh breathlessly at your not really funny joke, but you’re now truly exhausted. From the show and the fuck, you felt thouroughly worked out.

“I guess that’s what it is, yeah.”

“Yeah, sure. Sounds good.”

“You’re honestly so chill, Y/N. It’s fuckin’ hot.”

You laugh and flip your hair dramatically. You’re only in your bra and panties right now and Harry licks his lips, finding your playfulness to be a turn on. “What can I say?” You laugh.

“But like I said before...it’s just sex.” He’s buttoning up his shirt and looking at your reflection through the mirror now. He watches you slip the pants you had been wearing back on.

“Oh, Harold, I know.” On cue, he groans and turns around to face you after fixing his mused hair in the mirror. Interrupting yourself, you turn your back to Harry, “Can you tie this, sorry it’s hard for me to get the -” Harry walks to you without any hesitation and begins tying the silk ribbons on the back of your shirt. “Thanks. Anyway,” you turn to face him when he’s finished and you place both of your palms on his chest. “Trust me, I know you’ve got your issues and I’m not looking to be the girl that tries to change you. I know what this is. I only ask that you let me know when you sleep with other people, because once you do, you won’t need me.” Harry nods and you pat your hands against him. You both smile and go your separate ways when you leave the dressing room.

-

Harry and you fucked almost every night on tour. Sometimes it was right after, on the counter in his dressing rooms. Sometimes it was later in the evening in his hotel room or yours. He stopped leaving immediately after your hook ups. He never kicked you out of his room so he decided it was fine for him to stay in yours. Especially because you weren’t a stranger who would be weird with him in the morning. He also didn’t like trekking through the hotel halls late at night.

The first few times you stayed in the same bed, the two of you stayed on opposite sides of the bed, not touching after you were finished engaging in your sexual endeavours. Rigid bodies against the edges of the mattress. Then one particularly long night, filled with multiple rounds, Harry was so exhausted from his performance on stage and off that he collapsed on top of you. He fell asleep there and you didn’t particularly mind. It felt nice to be slightly compressed and held. He shifted in his sleep and when he woke up he wasn’t upset to find you nestled into his side with his arms wrapped around you. After that, cuddling sort of became part of the routine. After you were done having sex, Harry or you would get up to clean up and bring back waters. Then you would settle in his arms. Sometimes in a spooning position and sometimes you cradled softly into his chest. You didn’t talk about it, it just happened.

One night it was your head directly on top of his butterfly tattoo, one leg thrown over his lower torso and your arm snuggly wrapped around his middle. He liked to pet your hair when you laid against his chest in that way. His fingers would fiddle with the strands and you liked it because he usually took off his rings before he would do it and his hands felt so soft and delicate against you. Harry liked the way he felt when he would hold you afterwards. It was calming to fall asleep against your soft skin and feel your fingertips trace lyrics to songs he wasn’t sure the name of against his own.

No one knew about how your friendship with Harry worked. To the rest of the world, you seemed to be someone who had become another close friend in the band. You were similar to Mitch in many respects. Except for when Harry winked at you during a show, it wasn’t a friendly wink, it was a ‘this song makes me horny and I can’t wait to relieve the pressure by fucking you later’ kind of wink. You knew this because Harry had gone over and whispered it in your ear during a quick break, when you had only looked at him weirdly after he did it.

Before the show tonight, you pulled Harry aside, “So what are we thinking tonight? I feel like I might want to ride you...Haven’t been on top in a while.” In the darkness of the backstage, you crane your neck to take Harry’s earlobe between your teeth. He groans softly and grips your hips to guide them against his for a second. “Sounds fuckin’ fantastic, love.” You twitch back, releasing him immediately at the word. You always told him not to call you that and he tried to reason with you, that it was just something he called people. But you disliked it a lot, adding it to the growing list of rules the pair of you had for the do’s and don'ts of being friends with benefits with each other.

“Harold,” you groan and he steps back at that pet name. While he hated this, you refused to let him put it on the list because it didn’t cross any lines with your physical arrangement. Not that there was any physical list to put it on, it was more of a theoretical list that the two of you would speak of occasionally.

“Sorry.” He says eventually, “Didn’t mean it.” You both laugh.

You think about how other relationships were sometimes desperate to hear their partner express their love for them and you believe you’re grateful for the simplicity of your arrangement. The term relationship regarding what you and Harry were doing was also in the ‘don’t’ category on the list. If either of you were being honest, there should be no need for a list and you should be questioning yourselves why you felt the need to set boundaries if one part of it was physical and the other part was your friendship and job. If it truly was just physical why were boundaries constantly needing to be set and followed? But right now honesty was not in the cards.

-

After the show Harry gets delayed with press or fans or something that you don’t really care about. You barely read the text that he sends, only caring about the ‘sorry got held up’ and the ‘be there in thirty’.

You let yourself into his room and wait on the bed, flipping through your phone, completely unbothered by the rest of the world. When you hear a knock on the door, you don’t think twice about getting up and opening the door. You only realize your terrible mistake when it’s Mitch and not Harry standing at what you’re also just realizing isn’t your door, but instead Harry’s.

“Shit!” you say under your breath as Mitch looks at you confused.

The room is dark behind you because Harry would have just entered and gotten down to business. He might turn on a side lamp, but you hadn’t felt the need to have light on while you waited. Forgetting all of that, you had just gone to the door and opened it.

Mitch tucks some of his hair behind his ear as he stares at you. “Is Harry here?”

“Er..No?” It comes out as a question. You rub the back of your ankle with your foot, feeling nervous.

“Is he actually not here or?” Mitch trails off, narrowing his eyes at you.

“No, no he’s really not here. I’m waiting for him, too.” You rush your words, but try to remain calm.

“You have a key to his room. And you’re waiting in the dark.” He says. They’re not questions and you’re not sure just how guilty you look.

“Yeah!” You try to come up with a non suspicious response, hoping there’s a way to still salvage your’s and Harry’s secret, “He gave me his key because he wanted to talk about something and I kept it dark because my eyes always hurt after shows. Kind of like a migraine.” You scratch at your head and smile, trying to convince Mitch. He seems to believe you as he nods slowly and opens his eyes more.

There’s a little bit of an awkward silence and Mitch shifts his weight between his feet, looking at you still. Just as you're about to invite Mitch to come wait inside with you, Harry steps out of the elevator and begins to walk down the hall. His key card is already in hand and your eyes widen. Harry’s expression mirrors yours when he realizes Mitch is standing outside of his door and that you are standing with him. “Mitch!” Harry says, placing his hand on Mitch’s shoulder and sliding his key card into his back pocket with the other. Mitch turns to Harry without seeing him put away the other key card and you look at the pair of them.

“I was just telling Mitch how you gave me your key card so we could talk about...that thing.” You interject, flicking the lights on in Harry’s room as casually as possible. Harry shoots you a look about how you couldn’t come up with an actual reason for being there. You shrug your shoulders helplessly.

Mitch looks between the two of you and feels some weird tension and he’s not sure if it's always there and he’s just noticing or if something is going on right now.

“Yeah, well, I came to stop by to talk about the riff in Canyon Moon. Something is wonky with it.”

“Oh! Sure,” Harry nods to Mitch and then glances at you, “Y/N, we can talk about that other thing later. It’s not that important anyway.” His tone is so casual and nonchalant. You stare at him, thinking he can’t be serious. You had been almost sure he would send Mitch away, but instead you were being kicked to the curb. When he doesn’t say sike or anything of the sort, you nod. “Okay,” then you mumble a ‘good luck’ with figuring out the problem with the song. Mitch walks in the door, but Harry’s eyes stay fixed on your figure retreating down the hallway. He watches you disappear and is only pulled from his thoughts when Mitch calls his name from the couch in the room.

After reaching your floor, you key into your room and get ready for bed. Just as you’re about to drift off to sleep, completely alone for once in a long time, there’s another knock. This time you check the peephole, a habit you realized you were going to have to get better at. It’s Harry. You open the door and walk away immediately once he’s entered the room.

“Why are you here?”

“Thought we could still...” He follows you into the room, trying to make out your face in the darkness.

“I’m not in the mood anymore.” Your tone gives away your annoyance. You couldn’t hide that you were mad at Harry for sending you away. It made you feel weird. The way he did it so easily made you feel like you were extremely disposable and unwanted.

“I’m sorry,” he sighs as he lays down beside you. You turn to face him when he places a hand on the small of your back. You’re face to face and your noses are almost brushing. It’s not really possible to see each other’s features, but after months of hooking up you knew each other’s faces pretty well. You could reach out and pinpoint all of Harry’s freckles and moles on his face and neck right now and be correct. He could likely do the same. The theory is proven correct when he reaches out and his hand dances down your cheek. “Just thought it would be less suspicious if I didn’t get rid of him. Couldn’t make him wait either…”

“I know,” your voice is small and soft, just above a whisper, “I forgive you.” You scoot closer to him and Harry instinctively wraps his arm around you, bringing you tightly into him. You sigh into his neck and he shivers at your warm breath on his slightly clammy skin. When you lick your lips, they brush lightly against his skin. He laughs at the feeling, so you decide to press an intentional kiss to the hollow in his neck. In response, he presses a kiss to your hairline, his lips slightly chapped after the concert.

The kisses are tender, filled with that thing neither of you dare attribute to anything the two of you did in the dark. The word you told him time and time again to not call you. So is just about every touch and word that has been exchanged in this room since Harry entered it. You fall asleep wrapped up in his arms, a soft smile resting on both of your faces. Neither of you seem to mind that you didn’t actually have sex tonight or anything even close to it.

-

When you wake up you feel especially well rested. You shift around and realize your bed is empty besides you. It depended on the day, but it was always a toss up between Harry being there when you woke up or not. However, lately, you had found it was usually the former. You would linger longer and so would Harry in each other’s rooms, lounging in each other’s embrace under the soft glow of the morning light peaking through whatever windows the room had. Today you were cold at his absence. Then you look up and realize you aren’t completely alone. Harry is standing at the end of your bed, staring down at his phone, smiling.

“Hey.”

You wait for his reply, but he doesn’t look up from his phone. “Hey, Harold,” you repeat. His head snaps up, a grimace on his face at the name. He slips his phone in his pocket and ruffles his hair. “Hey.” He finally responds. “I’m gonna head out.”

“Okay.”

Neither of you seem to find it necessary to talk about what happened last night. Harry definitely seemed a little off to you this morning, but you try to shake it from your thoughts. There was no reason to be upset with him being quiet. He didn’t owe you anything, you hadn’t even slept together last night, so if anything it was weird he stayed as long as he did.

It was the second night at the Forum in Los Angeles. This means no travelling necessary. No day off either, tomorrow you’d have a day off before the third and final show at the venue though.

Harry and you were talking normally at the venue, mostly about the setlist - him and Mitch had changed something for whatever reason last night, which was fine. Your banter was to a minimum, but you were trying to convince yourself that nothing was off. Even though it felt like something was different, you couldn’t place your finger on what it was, so you thought it was best to ignore it.

When Harry is about to go out on stage, you don’t pull him aside and when he introduces the members of the band to the audience, he doesn’t say anything fun or silly about you. He doesn’t wink or come up to you at any point in the performance. It’s so unusual the rest of your bandmates are giving you funny looks. Charlotte looks at you from across your keyboard in a way that she’s asking if you’re okay. You shake your head at everyone trying to signal that you’re fine.

Mitch goes over to Harry and whispers in his ear to check in with him, Harry looks at him with a bright smile on his face and says “of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Mitch looks between the pair of you, thinking back to last night and how weird the pair of you were being then. Maybe it dawns on him then what might be going on between the two of you, but if he did, he wouldn’t mention it for a long time.

You falter a bit on your back up vocals tonight. You’re trying to give it your all, like always, but for some reason your voice isn’t sounding the way you want it. About halfway through the show, when your voice comes out the exact opposite of how you would like, Harry finally gives you a second glance. His face practically emotionless, save for the single arched brow. He’s concerned, but not concerned enough where he would go over to you. He just doesn’t understand why you keep missing the right note tonight. You make a shake of your hand to say I don’t know either. He just shrugs and turns back around to continue the show, his lively smile returning while he turns his head.

After the show, Charlotte, Sarah, and you are all checking in, going over what had happened during the show in general. They’re both worried about your voice and you’re simply trying to tell them that it was just an off night. Nothing was wrong. As long as you told everyone else that, then it might turn out to be true.

“It’s fine, maybe I didn’t get enough sleep last night,” you fib, having gotten more sleep last night than most other nights on this tour. They both nod, seeming to take that as a reasonable answer.

Then Charlotte gets quieter as she whispers to the three of you, “Did you guys notice anything weird with Harry? He was super lively, but he barely interacted with you, Y/N, which is so unlike him...”

Sarah nods while you look skeptically on. Sarah adds, “He kept looking up to the boxes, too. More than usual at least. I don’t know though…” She trails off and you cross your arms over your chest, not really enjoying the conversation topic. “I mean, what do you think, Y/N?” Sarah adds.

Your eyes dance between the two women, your fellow bandmates, your friends. You sometimes wished you could share with them what you were doing with Harry. The secret was fun, but it’s also nice to be able to share with your girlfriends about the guy you’re seeing, even if it is a casual thing. The friendly gossip of it all is something fun to share, but sadly that was another thing you couldn’t do. You sigh, “You never really know what’s going on in his mind, y’know. He’s just Harry.” Your response is half-assed at best. You figure they’ll both give you shit for the non-answer you just supplied, but instead someone else speaks for them.

“I am in fact, just Harry.” He says and you swivel around to find yourself almost chest to chest with him. Charlotte laughs while Sarah simply smiles. Your eyes are huge as you stare up at him and you hope your blush doesn’t come out too strongly after being caught talking about Harry by himself. “Enlighten me on when I was being ‘just Harry’ though?” You bite your lip and take a step back from him, forming more of a line with the other women. He shrugs when no one offers a response, laughing lightly.

“Oh and Y/N, I can’t talk about that thing again tonight, I’ve got-”

“A date?” Charlotte asks, trying to understand why Harry was acting a little different tonight still. The part that Sarah had mentioned about him looking up into the boxes had given her the idea that he might have plans with someone after the show. Harry scratches his head, his hair slightly wet with sweat right after the show. He’s taken off his coat so he’s just in the almost completely unbuttoned, sweat soaked shirt he had been wearing underneath. It sticks tight to his skin and you can make out all the muscle lines that hide beneath the fabric that you usually get to caress. Your eyes flit from his body back to his face when he speaks again.

“Erm, I wasn’t going to phrase it like that...but yes, I suppose, it’s a date.” He says finally, he avoids your eye contact and you look at him very confused, trying to hide the hurt. He shoves his hands in his pockets trying to look and sound as casual as possible and ignore the strain he sees on your face. Is that what had held him up yesterday? Making plans with someone else? And he hadn’t told you until now? The past twenty four hours stung a little bit more now that you knew why Harry was being so distant. It simply felt icky finding out this way and it didn’t even seem like he was going to tell you it was a date.

“Okay,” you say simply and walk away. You hear Charlotte asking him details about his date, but you try actively not to hear any of it. Sarah watches you walk away and sees the way you wrap your arms around yourself to comfort you. She feels a twinge of sadness as she watches the scene unfold, seeing something she hadn’t realized was there before.

Harry doesn’t text or call you that night. You hang out with everyone else for a little while in Charlotte’s room before heading to bed, saying you think you need an early night tonight. Before you’re able to walk out of the door, Mitch stops you. “I heard Harry blew off whatever conversation the two of you have been trying to have again. Just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” You try to smile but it comes out as more of a grimace. There is no conversation Harry is blowing off, it’s simply you. “It’s fine. Like he said yesterday, it’s not important.” Mitch nods, but still looks at you with concern. What he had seen last night, then on stage today, and what Sarah had told him about your interaction after the show it all strung together in his mind. It didn’t seem unimportant at all. But he didn’t know how he could tell you that. He felt like he should talk to Harry about the way you looked when you left Charlotte’s room tonight, but he didn’t know how to bring it up to him either.

You don’t realize you’re crying until you're in the elevator, and it’s slowly rising to your floor of the hotel. You’re only one level up, but it feels like an eternity in there. You already weren’t a fan of elevators, but this ride felt impossibly worse. The walls are all made up of mirrors and you see yourself in the reflection, but you don’t exactly recognize the girl in there. Your eyes are tired from the show, dark circles already formed. Your hands are aching, clenching and unclenching on their own accord. Your body is slumped against the back wall, likely leaving a slight imprint from the smoke residue and dust on your clothes. Worst of all are the tears running down your face, smudging at your makeup, the black mascara you had applied dripping down in sinister raindrops against your skin. The sad girl stares back at you as you sniffle slightly, confused at what you’re seeing. “Why are you crying?” you ask yourself, your voice creaking and then breaking at the end as you struggle to get out the word ‘crying’ before a sob wracks through you. You roll your eyes when your reflection offers no explanation for itself. You laugh at your own patheticness and try to shake the feelings you’re experiencing.

Inside your room now, you flop on the bed and stare straight up at the ceiling. Your arms spread to your sides and your legs lay limply below you. You think about every night before last, every night since the tour started. Every night where you weren’t alone, where you were with Harry. Your mind flits to last night, how Harry’s lips had ghosted over your skin after his apology. How you had told him you forgave him and it had felt so peaceful, so simple. It was all so easy. Thinking about him and the things the two of you did together brought a smile to your face, unbeknownst to you. When you realize it’s there, your face drops immediately, deciding not to think about Harry.

But trying to not think about Harry makes you only think about him more and what you think about him now most definitely doesn’t bring a smile to your face. You’re thinking about him out on his date with some person you chose to learn nothing about. Maybe out of fear of what is happening right now. By knowing nothing about the person, you can’t compare yourself to them. Can’t see what’s different about them that would make Harry go out on a date with them. But it doesn’t matter who they are or what they look like because at the end of it all you know one thing for certain. They’re not you. You correct yourself, you know two things actually, because you also know that Harry chose to be with them instead of you tonight.

You fall asleep with tear stained cheeks that night and absolutely nothing positive on your mind. You want to sleep but know it only brings whatever is bound to happen tomorrow, which doesn’t seem very promising.

-

It’s noon when you wake up and you wake to a knocking on your door. You grumble and throw a sweatshirt over your body to hide the underwear you slept in. Not remembering your new habit, you swing the door open without any hesitation to find Harry. He looks wide awake and happy, the way he almost always looks, a fresh beautiful flower of a man. You look at him groggily, “What are you doing here?”

“You weren’t answering your phone.”

“Because I was asleep?” You tilt your head and look at him incredulously. “What about this,” you gesture to your appearance, “looks like I just went for a 3 mile jog for fun and I love the morning?”

“Can I come in?” He ignores everything you just said and enters the room when you leave the door to get back in bed. You often did that with him, you don’t know why, but when he asked to come in the room it was just simpler to let him in then say anything. He knew what you meant.

He sits at the edge of the bed as you reclaim your spot in the middle of it, tucked slightly under the covers, but still sitting up. “How was your date?” You try to sound nonchalant and it seems to work. Harry doesn’t notice your tense figure, but you notice how he tenses up when you ask.

“Good…Her name was-” You don’t let him finish, you already know the answer to this next question and you don’t need her name in order to ask it, “Did you fuck her?”

He’s silent, green eyes staring straight at you. You meet his gaze, your eyes almost burning holes into him. His eyes are begging you to not make him answer the question, he doesn’t want this to end, even if he also didn’t want the commitment he had felt himself exhibiting the other night.

When he had come to your room the other night after Mitch had almost caught you, he knew he shouldn’t have stayed. He didn’t want you to feel bad so he had come to apologize, but when the pair of you didn’t have sex, he should have left. But he didn’t, he stayed and it wasn’t for you, it was for himself. It was for him to hold you in his arms because he liked to. But when he woke up the next morning he knew he needed to leave. Solely cuddling wasn’t part of your arrangement together. It’s probably on the list of don'ts that the pair of you had. So after he realized the line he had willingly crossed with you, he quickly sent a text to Jeff who had tried to set him up with a model they were acquaintances with the night before - the reason he had gotten held up. Harry had initially declined, not very interested in seeing anyone else but you. But looking back on that choice in the light of day seemed to solidify what this relationship was - a relationship - and Harry didn’t like that. The commitment wasn’t part of the plan, so he told Jeff to set that date up for after the second show at the Forum and give the woman a ticket. That’s why he was smiling at his phone the morning after only cuddling with you, that’s why he didn’t joke around with you during the show, and that’s why he wasn’t in your bed last night.

You watch him expectantly, silently waiting for his answer, your veins cold as ice. He finally starts his answer and he wants to make it clear that it wasn’t as good with the other woman, but he’s not sure how to work that part in. He’s not sure how to explain to you it meant nothing if your arrangement also apparently meant nothing. You barely even let him get in a sentence. “Yes, but it was just a one time-”

“Alright.”

“What?” He doesn’t understand what you mean when you nod your head and cut him off.

“I told you at the beginning, Harry. Tell me when you sleep with someone else because when you do this is over. It doesn’t matter if she’s the love of your life or a one night stand. I will not be a backup plan, so if you’re able to find other people to sleep with, you don’t need to be sleeping with me.”

He sits in silence for a moment, his jaw dropped open slightly. He’s unable to keep it shut as his mind races about what to say. “Are you mad with me?”

“No, I’m fine. This was just sex. Charlotte will be happy that I’ll be going out with her more.”

Harry’s brow furrows as you shift away from him on the bed, grabbing your phone and beginning to flick through it. You feel numb and you’d like to not think about why.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks because he does care about you, worry is written all over his face. He just can’t commit, not now.

“What would I be mad about, Harry?” You look up and your eyes widen at him, silently asking him to truthfully say why you should be so upset about this revelation. You always knew it would eventually come to an end, you just hadn’t expected so soon. You hadn’t known the last time would be the last time and it broke your heart even if you knew it shouldn’t.

He shifts to reach his hand out to touch your exposed knee. You move away from him and he sighs, looking exasperated. “I- I don’t know. It just seems like we should talk about this.”

“You didn’t even think it was necessary to tell me you were going on a date last night, so I think it’s best if we just left it at ‘it’s fine, see you around’.”

He spreads his hands out across the sheets, examining his rings and painted nails thoroughly. You’re right, he doesn’t really want to talk about this. Well, more so, he’s conflicted. He would like to talk enough that you want to continue your arrangement but he doesn’t want to talk about feelings or emotions. Even if he has those feelings and emotions, they’re just not part of the things he’d like to talk about. “But-” You set your phone down at his first word, “Were you even going to tell me you fucked someone else today if Charlotte hadn’t asked you if it was a date last night? Would you just have come to my room tonight and acted like nothing had changed?”

“I would have told you.”

“Sure.”

“I swear I would’ve. I would never break a promise to you.”

“But you would make a decision that affects the both of us without telling me until afterwards?” Your voice breaks a little and you beg yourself not to cry right now.

“I thought you said this was just sex?”

You laugh humorlessly, in disbelief, “Of course it’s not, Harry! And it hasn’t been for a long time and that’s why you got scared and went and fucked someone else.” He looks at you blankly, unsure what to say, knowing you’re right. You continue, “But I also told you at the beginning of this, that I wasn’t going to try to change you. So this is me not trying to change you.” You sigh when he still says nothing, his expression completely unreadable, even to you. “Why couldn’t you have left it at ‘it’s fine’?” You say finally, barely above a whisper.

He blinks a few times after your final question. He flexes his hand one more time and then stands up from the bed. He adjusts his clothes and stares at you. You feel helpless, but you’re still trying to look pulled together, even after your outburst. You stare back. A thousand words floating through your heads, all the things you want to say and likely never will.

“I know, I’m…” he pauses, trying to get himself to say it, but he can’t. He can’t admit that he’s completely ruined whatever messed up paradise you had created together. “I’ll see you later.”

The apology or lack there of hangs in the air as he walks silently out your door. You don’t move, you barely even blink, still staring at the spot he had just occupied. Your breath finally escapes you, a large sigh. Then some nervous laughter. It was over...just like that. But things like this, left like this are never really over.

-

It’s awkward for a good amount of the rest of the tour. You hang out with your bandmates more and Harry rarely ever comes out with them after the shows. He either hangs out with Mitch on his own or is going out with random people he knows on the road. You and him speak, but it’s never a lot or about anything relatively meaningful. It’s not the fun back and forth of before or the fiery heat of sneaking around. You try to be normal with him, act like his casual friend and bandmate.

He does his best to do the same, but it’s difficult for him. He doesn’t know how to talk to you anymore. He misses being with you, but can’t bring himself to fix it. He doesn’t do much to right his wrongs with you. He also doesn’t even know what he would want if he did apologize. It scared him to think about the step that came after ‘sorry’ so he saved himself the trouble and never did that part either. One night he texts you: “I’m trying, it’s just hard.” and that’s it. You don’t give him a response, he doesn’t need one. You know he’s trying and he knows you know.

Near the end of the tour, he comes out with the rest of you for drinks one night. Only Mitch is between the two of you in the booth, so you feel closer to Harry than you’ve felt in a long time. The group of you are chatting and having a good time. You somehow get onto a story from when you were still in college. You explain how you had narrowly avoided getting Chlamydia right before your Christmas break junior year. You act out the conversations you imagined would have happened at all your Christmas events if you had indeed gotten it. Your impressions of your mother, father, and sister have everyone laughing the most. Harry is shaking with laughter from your story and you smile at him in appreciation when he says, “That is the funniest story I’ve heard in a long fucking time.”

The rest of the night goes really well, for the most part. No one bickers or is short with each other. Everyone is laughing and drinks are flowing. Eventually Mitch gets up to go to the bathroom and you feel Harry slide back into the booth closer to you after letting Mitch out. Your hand had taken up residence next to your thigh, resting on the vinyl of the booth. You sense something next to it now and notice Harry’s hand is resting close beside it. He shifts his hand closer when he sees that you’re looking down at it. He’s almost touching you and you look up to his eyes, wondering if he’ll close the distance. He makes an imperceptible shake of his head, but you know what he means. As you’re about to shift your hand so that your pinky connects with his, Mitch returns and your head shoots up to his figure. You instantly remove your hand from the vinyl and shift closer to Charlotte. Harry gets up, but doesn’t sit back down once Mitch is settled. He instead walks off to get another drink, risking one last look at the table where he makes eye contact with you, but he doesn’t come back. Mitch informs everyone that Harry went back to the hotel because “he was tired” after Harry doesn’t return and Mitch gets a text. You roll your eyes, sure that you saw him slip out of the side door with a woman he found at the bar after he had gotten his drink. If that’s what ‘tired’ looked like on Harry, it was fine.

You start to speak to Harry on a more regular basis after that night out. It’s not funny or lighthearted. It’s just ‘I saw this song the other day, thought you might like to listen’. It went back and forth, it wasn’t everyday but it was something. The last text between the two of you before you began sharing songs again was his ‘I’m trying it’s just hard’ text that he had sent randomly one night. Then after one of you would listen, you would see each other at sound check and mention the song and what you thought about it. It can be noted that it was Harry who sent the first song.

For Harryween, Adam couldn’t be there. He has some family emergency the day of and doesn’t come with the rest of you to Madison Square Garden or the hotel you were staying at. Thankfully, Charlotte also plays keys and you can play bass. The band had to shift around some things on stage and make minimal changes to the setlist since you weren’t rehearsed on the covers Harry was doing. You spent the whole day running through the chords of those songs with Mitch, trying to memorize them so you didn’t mess it up during the show.

It was weird because for Harryween the setlist was switched up a little from the regular set for Love On Tour. Harry was playing the entire new album as well as half of the first album, Medicine, some of his other unreleased stuff, and about six covers, including old One Direction songs. It was going to be a long show and a challenge for you.

Before the show, Harry pulls you aside, to a dark corner backstage, and your mind flits back to the last time you had been in this type of position. The last time he had called you ‘love’, the last time you bit his earlobe - which always drove him crazy, the last time he ground his hips against yours, those and more and you had no idea that it was the last. By then you had already had sex with Harry for the last time, kissed his lips for the last time. It made your heart race to be so close to him and so alone once again. But it’s nowhere near the same as it once was. You shake the memories from your mind and look up expectantly at him.

“Have you got this?” He asks seriously, tone concerned. Of course it’s a music question, nothing more. Like it always was now.

“Yeah, of course.” His stare is unwavering and you try not to falter from it.

“I can get someone else to cover tomorrow, it was just such a short notice today. You know bass really well too, it made sense.”

“I’ve got this. Seriously, don’t worry, Harold.” You pat his chest lightly and for once Harry smiles at the sound of your nickname for him. You had stopped using it after the end of your arrangement. It never felt right to use when you were talking about music, and that was about the only time you had been talking. In this moment though, it felt right. His warm, large hands held your upper arms as you stared up into his big eyes. You missed staring into them, the shimmering emerald of his irises were constantly intriguing. You instinctively reach up to move back a curl that has fallen onto his forehead. He doesn’t shy away from your touch and continues to smile down at you.

“Y’haven’t called me that in forever.” He grins, his lips a shiny pink from the lip balm he had on.

“No, I suppose I haven’t. But where was the groan? The whole point is to annoy you.” You smile coyly. He tips his head back and laughs, releasing your arms from his grasp as he laughs wholeheartedly.

Then he does a soft groan, a playful sound, “How was that?”

“Eh. I’ll give you a four out of ten. Not enough emotion behind it.” You slide from the area the two of you have been occupying and make your way onto the stage to start dealing with the bass you would be playing. You hear Harry call out to you, “I think I deserve at least a five, maybe even a six!” You turn back for a second to look at him with an unimpressed expression and shake your head no. He laughs again and you hear him even when you walk out onto the stage. You smile to yourself as you pick up the bass.

When he introduces the band, he waits to talk about you last. “And sadly this evening Mr. Adam Prentergest, our usual fabulous bassist, was unable to attend our fancy dress party! However! Our lovely Y/N L/N is also a superb bassist and was kind enough to step into his place. - Anything to add?” He saunters across the stage to you and you laugh kindly, feeling at ease in this part of the stage even though you were usually on the opposite side and further back from the crowd. You nod at Harry and he leans his portable mic towards your lips. You wet them quickly and eye Harry before turning out to the crowd. “Just please go easy on me if the bass sounds a bit wonky. It wasn’t on the job description that I’d be playing songs I didn’t know, with a few hours notice, on not my main instrument.” You say this in a kind of list format, holding up your fingers as you tick off all the ways that this was out of your comfort zone. You scratch your head dramatically after you’re finished and the whole crowd laughs and cheers. The rest of your bandmates chuckle along and Harry nods and smiles at you.

“You’ll do great, love.” He leans into your ear and says without the microphone. Then he winks and turns to go back to the center of the stage. You press your lips together to contain your smile, both happy and concerned about the flip your stomach just did.  

The show is going great. Harry is killing it with the crowd. Everything is electric. You’re entirely focussed on your bass playing, but Harry has been coming over every so often to do something fun or have you tell a joke.

“She’s truly the funniest person I know! And I know a fair amount of people I think.” Harry says as he walks over to you have you tell another joke. Mitch has been looking at you and Harry interacting all night and he’s sure that it isn’t your different position that has him coming over and talking to you so much tonight. Something has definitely changed once again. First the pair of you were always together and having fun, then it was silence and stolen glances that neither of you realized you were taking, now it was back to the beginning.

“That’s because you think puns are part of the top tier levels of comedy.” You say easily, “Here, I can guarantee Harry will love this and the rest of you will likely groan.” Then you stop and act as if you’re thinking for a little, everyone’s waiting expectantly. “Sorry, thinking...Well, I’ve got some skeleton puns I could do, they’re very humerus or y’know classic vampire ones..eh but those ones kind of suck. What do you think, Harry?” You look out at the crowd, face deadpan, as Harry laughs beside you. You roll your eyes playfully and push him back to the center of the stage. Leaning into your own mic now, you say, “I told you.” That’s when everyone laughs. Harry throws another look at you over his shoulder and laughs a little more, his smile wide and eyes bright.

A little over half way through the night, it’s time for ‘to be so lonely’. You already knew the bass chords for it before today and you were confident in yourself by now. It wasn’t as hard a song so you were happy for the little break. This song allowed you to not be looking down at the notes you had stuck to the floor in front of you. Harry’s voice comes in after Mitch’s intro and you watch the way his lips move against his mic. You laugh a little as you watch the crowd yell the first “arrogant son of a bitch” line. You used to not particularly like when people did that, but after it had ended with Harry you had started to enjoy it a bit more. Having those people yell the words you couldn’t, but truly felt about him sometimes, was cathartic. Tonight you weren’t angry with him, but you enjoyed the energy in the room when everyone said it. We’ve all got our own ‘arrogant son of a bitch’ that we want to scream at sometimes. Tonight yours wasn’t Harry for the first time in a long time. The song moves along and Harry takes the microphone off its stand, he walks towards your side of the stage. When the lyrics get to:

“I miss the shape of your lips, your wit, it’s just a trick, this is it so I’m sorry”

Harry isn’t looking at the crowd, he’s looking straight at you. You don’t understand the way he’s looking at you. Or maybe you don’t want to understand it. This song, its lyrics, explains Harry really well. You saw the relationship you had with him in the words. Maybe not precisely, but a part of it was in it. Harry had unknowingly foretold your lives with his words. You know he has trouble connecting and committing, you know his issues, and you accept them. But you knew what had happened between the two of you was far more serious than meaningless sex and you knew Harry couldn’t bring himself to be that serious. He ran off and that was fine, but the face that he couldn’t even apologize hurt you the most. But the song lays it all out for you, he’s not one to be able to apologize quickly. The fact that he looks at you and means the apology he sings in the song for you, it’s a big step, but it’s not enough. The banter, the technical apology, it was all a good start, but it’s just that - the beginning. If Harry wants to make things better with you, a lot more needs to be discussed. So when you sing backing vocals for the following chorus you mean the words for Harry completely.

“Don’t call me baby again, you got your reasons, I know that you’re trying to be friends. I know you mean it, but don’t call me baby again it’s hard for me to go home and be so lonely”

His eyes flick to you again and see your lips moving around the words as you play the bass. He sees the emotion in your face and understands what you’re saying. It’s hard for you to go to your room at night and be alone while he’s out with someone else. It’s hard for him to act like everything’s all fine and perfect, back to normal, because for you it isn’t really. He can’t call you ‘love’ and tell the world you’re funny and expect it to be enough. He can’t sing his sorry that was initially for someone else to you and expect you to accept it. And he knows it, too.

After the show everyone decides they’re exhausted and need to rest before tomorrow. You all planned to celebrate the whole day and you knew it was going to be a wicked Halloween. Knowing this, you’re surprised with the knock on your door after about an hour of being back at the hotel. You’ve given up the habit you had once hoped to cultivate and swing the door open haplessly. Truly having no idea who to expect, you are still surprised to find the man standing before you.

“Mitch.”

“We need to talk.” He stares down at you, his shoulders slumped from tiredness.

“Come in,” you usher him in when you hear the urgency of his voice. He saunters in before you and you close the door. You move to the small couch in the room and sit down. Your hands gesture for him to sit as well, but he shakes his head. He stays standing and brings a hand up to smooth his hair back on the right side. His eyes staying on the floor and flickering up to you every so often.

“What is going on with you and Harry?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh come on Y/N. You’re seemingly best friends with him for a good portion of tour, then you’re barely on speaking terms for the second half, now you’re joking around again. What is going on?”

You sit there in a stunned silence, “I don’t know what to say.” Your arms go to hug your body, feeling anxious about being confronted about this topic.

“Were you seeing each other?” His voice is soft, eyes taking in your body language and knowing it’s a difficult topic.

“I wouldn’t put it like that…”

He holds back the ‘I knew it’ statement because of  how sullen you look, b..ut in his mind all of the pieces he had watched unfold came to fit in a perfect puzzle. He decides to sit beside you when you don’t say anything else.

“We were having sex,” it felt weird to say it out loud, no one but you and Harry had actually known, “But it ended. I don’t know what today was...but it felt different than how it’s been.”

“Why are you so sad if it was just sex?” He places a hand on your shoulder and your tear-filled eyes meet his. “Oh…” He knows why.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” You sob at his apology because he’s not the one who should be at your door apologizing. You sniffle and lean your head into his chest. He takes you into his arms and holds you as your cries become muffled sounds in his shirt.

You cry without words for a few minutes, Mitch coos some soothing words, his voice soft and kind. He was always a good shoulder to cry on for all of your bandmates, he was extremely strong and you made a mental note to thank him thoroughly when you actually were capable of forming coherent thoughts. “I’ve never told anyone before. It feels so weird even saying it out loud,” you say as you pull back from Mitch’s embrace. You're thankful his shirt is black, no tear stains can be made out.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks gently, gauging your reaction. You wipe at your eyes and nod.

Taking a deep breath, you decide to start from the beginning. “Do you remember the party Charlotte had a week before we left for tour?”

Mitch nods and his eyes widen at what you’re saying as he remembers the night. “It started back then?” He’s unable to contain his incredulous question. He had suspected something, but hadn’t thought it had been going on for that long. He was truly astounded. You nod, “Well sort of,” then you go on to recount the last couple of months. All the way up until the Forum shows. “That night, when I opened Harry’s door and it was you standing there...Harry and I didn’t have anything to discuss. It was just…” Mitch nods again. He hadn’t spoken much since you had gotten into the story, wanting to let you be in charge of what you were saying and believing he could probably ask questions at the end. “Then the next night he blew me off for his date with that model and I cried in the elevator because I knew what was going to happen next.”

“So that’s when it ended?” Mitch asks when you don’t speak for a rather extended period of time.

“Yeah, the next morning he came over and I asked if they had sex and he said yes so I told him it was over.”

“But I don’t get why he went out with that model. He had told me she wasn’t his type the night before…” Your eyes shot up and looked at Mitch. His eyes widened when he realized what he said.

“What?”

“When we were talking about Canyon Moon, he mentioned that Jeff had tried to set him up with some woman but he had declined. Said he wasn’t interested. I don’t get what changed between then and the next morning.” He figured it was best to put all the cards out on the table right now. You’d be going your separate ways for a while, now that the tour was over and he had seen how unhappy both you and Harry had been over the last part of the tour.

You shift your leg to have it folded beneath you as you continue to stare at Mitch. “He came over after you and him had your meeting,”  you say quietly. Mitch hums, waiting for you to continue this time.

“He apologized for choosing you over me to talk to. Then we slept together, but we didn’t have sex...I think that’s what wigged him. It had felt too real, sleeping in the same bed with me without having sex beforehand made it feel like something more than just two people fulfilling needs.” Mitch nods and sighs heavily. He looks around the room and then back to you, taking in your full appearance. Again he feels terrible for you, how he had felt the second night at the Forum even though he hadn’t known the full story yet. “Now we’re here.”

“Tonight, it felt like he was trying,” Mitch finally said and you smiled sweetly, thinking back to Harry’s behavior. No matter how far from him you were, all those good feelings you associated with him never went away.

“Yeah, it’s been getting better. He texted me once saying he was trying. Then he came out with us one night and it almost seemed like that would be the night he’d apologize, but then he didn’t. Then we started sharing music with each other again. Then tonight… was tonight. It’s just confusing. He’s confusing.”

Mitch smiles sadly and brings you in for another hug and you’re actually so thankful he

showed up at your door. It was your first time telling anyone all of this, because Harry didn’t even know how you felt about some of these things. It felt amazing to be heard and to be told it was okay to be feeling like this.

Pulling back, Mitch says, “He’s definitely different. But his differences are what make him special and that’s why I think he clings to them even if they sometimes can hurt other people. The fact that he’s trying is a good sign. I hope he can find it in himself to make it right between you two because I had never seen either of you happier than when you were apparently together. Especially those few weeks leading up to Los Angeles. Sarah had kept asking me why Harry was so smiley back then. When I had asked him, he had just said “have you ever found something and realized you wanted to keep it with you forever?” I had no idea what he had meant, but I feel like he meant you now.”

Your awestruck at what Mitch has just told you. He was right about the first part about Harry trying to change, but the last bit, that’s what had left you speechless. You turn your body to face the rest of the room and put your chin against your hand as you think.

“Mitch...I have to go.”

He understands what you mean and you walk out of the door with him. He walks down the hall to his room and you walk quickly past the elevator and opt for the stairs. Before you know it you’re running up the stairs, taking two at a time even though you’re not the most athletically inclined. You can’t stand to wait for the elevator and your mind is racing.

You knock on the door that is Harry’s after reaching his floor. It swings open and reveals a confused and sleepy Harry. Thankfully he’s still fully dressed because that would have been a whole other problem you would have if he hadn’t been. You push past him and walk straight into his room without any invitation. He follows behind you, still unsure of why you’ve come here.

“Have you ever found something and realized you want to keep it forever?” You ask him, repeating the words Mitch had just told you.

“Pardon?”

“You told Mitch that about me before we ended things. If that’s how you felt, why didn’t you do what you said?”

Harry sighs as the words register in his mind. The memory of when he had smiled at Mitch so giddily and asked the vague question, his thoughts only of you as he asked it. The shit-eating grin he had plastered on his face after Mitch had looked at him confusedly flitted across his mind. As well as the way he had gone to his dressing room and had a quickie with you after that conversation.

“It’s not that simple…”

“It is, Harry! Why can’t you just be honest with me for once?”

“Okay, fine. You want me to be honest?” you nod at his harsh tone. The two of you standing only a few feet apart. “You have no goddamn idea what you do to me, when I’m around you, I have no control of my emotions or of my thoughts. I pushed you away because I didn’t like feeling out of control. I got out because what had started as a fun time had turned into me longing to be with you every waking hour. I found myself not caring what we did as long as I got to hold you and be around you, but that wasn’t part of the plan.”

“Plans can change, Harry.”

You step closer to him and he meets your eyes. He had left his music playing softly on his phone before he had opened the door so now as the two of you stared at each other, he must have been playing his Etta James playlist because her voice faded out of the song “I’d Rather Go Blind” and straight into “A Sunday Kind of Love”. Harry had shared her At Last album with you over the Christmas holiday of last year and you had decided to listen to her entire discography afterwards, so you knew the songs. The transition was a little too on the nose and you wondered if Spotify ever listened to your conversations.

His emerald eyes examine your face and take inventory of your features, measuring whether anything had changed since he had looked at you this close up. Your hand goes up to cup his cheek and he nuzzles into it, dropping his head closer to you ever so slightly and closing his eyes at the feeling of you.

“I am sorry,” he whispers earnestly as he reopens his eyes.

You can’t take your eyes off of him even if you tried. He looks so soft in the moment, so vulnerable in this light as the music swells in the corner of the room. Etta sings about how she needs a love that is going to last as the pair of you inch yourselves closer together.

“I forgive you, Harry,” you whisper back.

He nudges his head further down and your lips finally press together, slotting back together after months apart. Your lips are eager to press back against their favorite companion. You oblige them, but pull back for a second, just far enough to say, “I will always forgive you, so long as you tell me when you’re scared so we can work through it together.”

He nods, “I promise to never let you go again.” Before taking you back against his lips and gathering your body up in his arms. His lips missing yours just as much.

-

#fallinharry10k #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #long one shot #first fic in awhile #pls lemme know what you think #I've missed putting work out #im equally nervous and excited #harry styles one shot #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #am I forgetting tags?? #can't remember #oh well #def meant to call this keep it forever but forgot #oops #also lots of mitch #bc I love Mitch Rowland with my whole heart

[gojology]

Intense Healing Session.

the request :

pairing : caring! healer! fem! reader x gojo satoru hehhehe warnings : cursing, implications of seggs after sum intense kissing, pet names wordcount : 2.0k a/n : yoyo i’m back!! semi-long one for u all. cute request, anon. sorry for late delivery. pls dont rate me a 1/5 on yelp </3 hehe the title is kinda funny LOL

     You’re beginning to hate Satoru.        Surprisingly, it’s not for the reasons people dislike him- he’s a bit of a blabbermouth, never quite learned how to seal his lips just because of how important he was to the jujutsu world. Unsurprisingly, he gets away with everything because he’s attractive and crucial to defeating curses, and there’s no shame in admitting it.       People hate Satoru for his destructive personality, he’s carefree and doesn’t let anything get to him. This may be a good trait for the untrained eye, but look carefully and you’ll see just how hectic he gets. It’s manageable since you don’t have to deal with him at the level of the Jujutsu elders.       You don’t particularly hate him for this, though.       It’s the fact he puts you through so much work, for almost no reason. You’re a healer- something very important to the quaint school that you worked at. Healing abilities are often overlooked, it’s often said that if a jujutsu sorcerer can’t provide offense, then they’re not much of a jujutsu sorcerer. Unfortunately, you have little to no talent in the battlefield, so essentially you’re a meat shield to everyone.      It was a growing occurrence to see him after every business trip, slightly roughed up but not enough to kill him. He comes into the room you share alongside Shoko, almost always when she’s not there, takes his shirt off, and displays a wide variety of cuts and bruises on his back like he’s a museum. You’d scold him, asking him how he’d get such abrasions with his infinity up constantly- but Satoru would hum, unanswering while you’re working your hands on his back.      Maybe you’re overreacting- but something tells you he does this on purpose, perhaps to fuck with you, and you’re bitter about it.     So it wasn’t surprising to see him whistle a sweet tune, hands shoved deep into his uniform pockets, casually strolling into the medical attention room for the fifth time this month.    “Gojo Satoru.” you say his full name aloud, just so he knows how much you hate his presence. Turning to look at you, his face displays innocent shock, but you just know that he’s probably rolling around in the inside seeing how riled up you got just by him stepping into the room.     Drained, lifeless eyes stare back at his childish bright ones.     Gojo places a hand on his chest defensively, “Well, I’ll be, Y/N. When did you want to disrespect your senior?” he snickers before shutting the door behind him. “You mad?”      “Unbearably. Lucky I care for you.” you utter back, venom dripping in your words, you feel like you’re making a fool of yourself as you shove your lunch aside that you had been enjoying on the tiny table next to you, sighing and rubbing your temples, tugging and effectively straightening your coat. “Get on the bed, let me work my magic.”     Looking at you with a shit-eating grin, he whistles, placing his elbows against the mattress, his roughened hands caressing his cheeks. “Working your magic? I’m interested. Tell me more, Y/N. Does this involve... Getting naked, perhaps?”     Staggering, you give him a dirty glare, “Satoru! I’ve been working my ass off like every week to get you all healed up, and you dare be perverted in my-”     “No cursing, lil girl! You wouldn’t want this rubbing off on Yuuji-kun and everyone else, would you? You’d be charged with a felony!” leaving you stunned for a second time- the first time being when his lanky figure strode into the room like it was his room- you don’t even know how to respond. How could one possibly be so... Ungrateful for your work?  Well, then again the elders existed... That was besides the point, though. You’re not even sure if Yuuji knows what the word fuck or shit is.     He drags his finger lazily along the cot, drawing various shapes into existence, giving you a skeptical look. “Not gonna answer? Stumped?”     He broke through your train of thought, and you shake your head. “Satoru, I don’t know any sort of fighting jujutsu, but I will fucking pulverize you and make sure you’ll be dust by the time I’m done with y-”     Butting in, he raises his hand as a way to shut you up. “Honeybun, you’re an amazing jujutsu sorcerer, but I hope you realize why they call me the strongest of all time. If you haven’t noticed, it’s because I have a constant shield. The closest you can get to doing that is maybe poking me.”     Giving him a snooty face, you’re frankly about to push him out of the room with sheer willpower and hatred alone. It seems he realizes this, a moment of adoration flickering across his eyes before finally neutralizing. “Alright, alright, I’ll stop playing with you. You’re so cute when I do though, like a little... Rabid raccoon! How can I not resist?”     It’s difficult to tell if that’s a compliment or an insult, with Satoru, it could be several things. But, you’re still slightly flattered, knowing him he’d go out of his way to lengthen his insult if it was one- just another reason why you hated him. Being called a rabid raccoon was definitely not on Satoru’s top 10 utterly offensive insults.       “Shut up, Satoru. Here, take off your shirt, what did you get yourself into this time?”       He obliges with a nasty grin on his handsome features, hastily yanking off his uniform. Underneath was a very meticulously trained body, toned muscles and all. You can’t help but to also catch a glimpse of his collarbones, which were so defined it looked like it could cut your butter for your morning pancakes. You gulp, blinking, you had forgotten just how well-shaped he was in the one week you hadn’t seen him.       “No need to stare, sweetums.” he chirps, realizing your darkening cheeks. “Feed my ego any more and I’ll probably burst and my organs will decorate your walls. You can donate my body to the local college, they’ll be surprised by how top-notch they are.”       Giving him another stern, but much more sheepish gaze, he snaps his mouth shut, but a triumphant smile replaced his grin in place.      “Please, no gruesome detailing. I’d much rather my cute kitten posters.” you motion to a white cat slumbering peacefully in a basket.      “Looks just like you.” he says.      You close your eyes and pretend he’s not there, choosing to ignore yet another one of his compliments, but your heart thumps faster in your heaving chest. Heaven knows how curious your hands could get if you could see where you were touching-      “Those are my abs, Y/N. I think we’re focusing on my back.” he muses aloud in an almost teasing tone. You can already imagine how obnoxious his face is, opening your eyes hesitantly, blinking to adjust to the bright room lights. Your hands are still hovering above his abs, his gaze is upon yours, looking at you with a mix of speculation and speechlessness. Instead of his unusual smug smirk, there’s an almost coy expression on his features, which shocked you.        “How’d your hands get there? Last time I checked, abs are at the front, not the back, hmmm?”        You grit your teeth, your face flush with warmth at your sudden realization. There was no cheeky retort you could’ve possibly come up with, after all, he was right, how did your hands wander to his abs? You weren’t thinking of doing it. You weren’t interested in him either, but he was attractive. Of course you’d be too curious for your own good.. Yes, that was it..       “Your hands are still on an inappropriate place, Y/N. Except, a lil lower than last time.” he chuckles wholesomely as you jerk up, straightening yourself and clearly sweating, your arm wiping your brow and exhaling a drawn-out and awfully dramatic sigh.       “Give me a break, Satoru. I just, um, you know... Zone out.” your pitch was unconvincing, high-pitched and wavering, bringing your chances of believability to a low.      “So, this is like, the 375th time since you’ve zoned out, lil girl.” he tsks, “You’ve gotta sound convincing if you wanna fuckin lie, you know.”      “I--” you falter, now clearly a shade darker than you were just 5 minutes ago. Your heart beating so rapidly it was almost like you were running a marathon. Why was your pulse so quick? Why was everything in the room a blur besides him? Why couldn’t you focus on healing him? What was he doing to you?      “You haven’t even begun the healing process.” he murmurs, his large hands caressing your arm that was by your side. “Anything you want to tell me, pumpkin? I’m on a tight ass schedule, but I’ll let Ijichi solve that. Spit it out.”       His voice rang out high and clear amongst the hectic fight that was going inside your head, steadying your thoughts. A few moments pass by, studying him, lips moving but no words coming out. Why was it so difficult to say through the insults, you cared for him, and wanted him to be more careful? Was it because of the monster inside of you, who wanted him to get hurt, to spend his time with you, listen to his horrible compliments and giggle at the jokes he made as you worked at a snail’s pace on his back, that weren’t even funny, but was funny because of his presence in the dead room, his boyish laugh very much needed in such days of flatness?      “Satoru..” you finally muster out, his eyes flickering on you once more as he was studying the kitten poster with much boredom. “I just.. Care for you.”      “Huh.” is all he says, face falling and examining the spotless floor. “Is that all?”      Acknowledging his body language, you huff, suddenly filled with the need to defend yourself. “What else did you want me to say? I just feel like you’ve gotten yourself hurt a lot more recently and... I just, want you to be more careful. That’s all.”     “No.” he was barely audible, so you had to lean down to hear him. “No, that’s not it at all. You’re hiding something. Do you prefer me to say it?”     Puzzled, you peer at him with childlike curiosity gleaming in your eyes. What did he know about you that you didn’t? Surely, you knew all about yourself?    “You’re not that fucking dumb, are you?”     “Huh?-” you begin to speak, clearly offended, but you’re stopped.     By none other than his lips.      They’re soft, pillow-like even. A familiar warmth floods inside of you at the sudden physical contact from Satoru, except it’s amplified by 10 times. A moan slips out of your mouth, his hand against your back so suddenly you could’ve sworn it wasn’t there just a millisecond ago. His lips were mashing against yours, as if he wanted to have done this a long time ago. You hungrily push back, teasing your mouth with his tongue that slipped just barely into your mouth before indulging in you, which you thought wouldn’t had ever happened prior to this.      You grip the back of his head firmly, as if he were to escape, other hand tangled in his snow white tufts of hair. Eyelashes fluttering, heavy breathes fanning out both of your noses, your lips were sure to be swollen after this. Your tongues dueling each other, working your mouth against his. His unoccupied hands start to play with the hem of your shirt, and another moan slips out of your mouth, anxious to have progressed so far to the removal of clothing, but at this point, you’re ready for anything.    ‧₊˚✩彡.       “I don’t think Gojo-Senpai and Y/N-Senpai are just in an intense healing session.” breathed Yuuji with a terrified look in his eyes, clutching his arm that was bloodied up, his head leaned close to the firmly shut door.        Nobara looked like she was about to faint, looking at the door as if it was a several feet tall monstrosity of a curse.        “What? What are they doing in there?” Megumi knelt down to where Yuuji was, pushing his ear against the door, and immediately his eyes shot open, a traumatized look in his fearful eyes.        “What the fuck.” 

#gojo satoru #jjk #jjk fic #jujutsu kaisen #gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo satoru #gojo satoru fic #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x fem reader #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x you #jujutsu kaisen fic #gojou satoru #gojo x reader #gojo x y/n #gojo x you #anime fic #fanfiction #fanfic #gojo satoru scenario #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x y/n #gojo imagine

[harrysgoldenline]

When In Italy Part 4

here is part 4! Um this chapter has bad words and some adult themes so warning for that! The next part will be the last, so let me know what you think! Are they end game or no? Also! If you want a personalized imagine, check out my pinned post! If you want to support me ---> please click here! every little bit helps bc im a broke ass college student so thank u to anyone who wants to support me :)

All comments and feedback are welcome and encouraged!! :)

WORD COUNT: 2.2K

You stood frozen as he stepped out of the elevator, his eyes soft as he met yours, waking towards you.

“Get away from me.” you whisper, attempting to push past him and get into the elevator, pressing the door closed button before even pressing a floor, not wanting him to get any closer.

“Y/N, wait!” he rushed, sticking his hand between the doors and stopping it, his tall frame standing before you that you quickly push past, going back to lock yourself in your apartment, and lock him out, “Please, let me explai-“

“No!” you stopped, voice firm as you turned to face him, “you can’t keep doing this! you can’t keep showing up like this! So just leave me alone.”

You kept walking, ignoring his pleas as he came after you, successfully unlocking your apartment door rapidly, but you catch a glimpse of rings as he hand stops the door.

“Please.” He whispered, not pushing the door open and you saw a flicker of his eyes and you could almost see the sincerity in them, “I know I don’t deserve it, I really don’t, but I would just love to talk to you for real this time, anything you want to know.”

“and you’re not gonna be an asshole this time?” you asked, leaning against the doorframe, peaking at him, “because if you are, I swear to god Styles I will give you 5 seconds to get the fuck out.”

“Promise.” He nodded and your heart believed him, so you opened the door.

You watched as he shoved his hands deep in his pockets, slowly entering your apartment and you didn’t miss how his eyes scanned you quickly, before bouncing around the apartment, looking around the space he used to be so familiar with.

You watched how he headed to the couch about to sit but stutter stepped a bit, scratching the back of his neck and looking at you, almost asking you if it’s okay if he sits down.

You gave him a soft smile and nod, tucking a loose hair behind your ear and sitting on one side of the couch, thankful he sat on the other, giving you each plenty of space as your eyes met. The tension was slowly rising, looking at each other as you sat, wondering who was going to break the silence.

“I never meant for anything to happen.” he whispered, his head falling as a shameful look covered his face, avoiding your eyes, “After the breakup… I- I was just lost. I was messing up at work and I just was doing shit. Then, it was like only like a month ago, I was getting drunk all the time and she just came into my trailer and we were talking and then she kissed me.”

You just nodded, biting your bottom lip and picking at your nails, peaking up and looking at him, your glossy eyes meeting his bloodshot ones, not really having anything to say in response.

“And I just…” he started, “I wanted to feel better, feel anything. So, we just started hanging out more and I just really wanted to feel something, feel a connection. So we took a trip to Italy because… It’s always been a place that made me feel better and then…”

“Yeah.” you chuckled, “and then… Why did you bring her to our house? I know we haven’t talked about that kind of stuff, but it’s mine too Harry and… just seeing you two there? I never felt more replaceable than I did when I saw you two.”

“Oh love, no.” He whispered, scooting closer to you, a hand coming up to cup your face to help your eyes meet, but he retracted it back before he made contact with your skin, “I’m so, so sorry. I’m so sorry and I will never be able to prove to you, but that was never my intention to ever hurt you. The breakup was a mistake.”

“I… How am I supposed to believe that?” you squeaked, voice cracking as the barrier breaks, tears falling on your cheeks as you looked up at him, “We we’re together for years and you just- I mean fuck Harry! I haven’t even thought about even starting to flirt with someone and you’re…”

“We’ve never had sex,” He quietly added cheeks turning a bit red, “or done anything like that. At all, I just… couldn’t.”

Your eyes widen a bit at the confession, watching as he looked at his hands, a slight twinge of embarrassment on his features.

“Oh.” you whispered, “I know I shouldn’t be mad, we… we aren’t together and you have have the right to do whatever you want but it’s just… hard. Especially when I wasn’t expecting it. I went to Italy to try and get away, everything in the city makes me think of you, I don’t know why I thought staying at the house would be any better but, I just wanted to get away.”

“Sorry I ruined your trip.”

“Sorry I ruined your hookups.”

He let out a laugh, the smile staying a bit longer when he noticed you had subconsciously scooted a bit closer to him.

“It’s not like I ever really wanted to… Even little Harry only wants you.” he flirted and an instant, loud laugh leaves your lips, leaning forward and your brace yourself on his shoulder, a simple thing you had done over the years countless times, but still made his heart skip a beat.

“Oh my god,” you said between breathless laughs, your bodies now less then a foot apart as you smiled up at him, “please do not call it little Harry!”

“What do you prefer?” He smirked, “rather I call it bi-“

“What the fuck?” a voice spoke suddenly, both of your red eyes going to your front door and seeing your best friend standing their, her eyes wide in a mix of confusion and anger. Your hand retracted from his body quickly, your best friend looking at you with soft eyes, her eyes darting over to Harry’s and you see the fiery anger behind them, “Y/N, please tell me he was getting whatever shit he left behind and is leaving.”

“We were just talking.” You started, glancing over at Harry, seeing a bit of fear behind his eyes and your lips quirked up in a smile that quickly faded seeing the anger in y/bff/n eyes.

“What do you want to talk to him about? How he broke your heart again?” She asked, confusion and concern laced in her voice, “I’m sorry, y/n, I just… I can’t watch you go through all of it all over again and again.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but he quickly stood up beside you giving you a quick nod as he glanced over at y/bff/n the back at you, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have just showed up. It was so good to see you, y/n, I’ll get out of your way.”

“Harry, wait!” you stood up, hating the softening in your voice, “I want to talk more… are you staying or do you have to go back to L.A?”

“I’ll be here as long as you need me. And if you want me gone, I’ll book my flight. Okay? It’s up to you, whatever you want.”

“Okay… Can I call you later?”

“You can call me anytime, I’ll pick up.”

***

Y/bff/n definitely wasn’t thrilled with you.

“I just feel like this is a bad idea, y/n!” She had exclaimed once Harry had left your apartment, “He’s gonna hurt you again! What could he possibly want?”

“I dont know, I just… I dont know.” You sighed, sitting across from her on your couch just like you did with him, “I love him and I don’t know what’s going to happen but I don’t want to end up hating him.”

She nodded, looking at you as your eyes glazed over again, “Hey, okay, I’m sorry. I just don’t want you upset. Do you still wanna go try this new place or just hang out here? Let’s get your mind off of everything, you need a break, yeah? Especially if you’re going to talk to him later.”

“Do you think I should?"

“If that’s what you think, I think you should. You know him.” She nods, “but I swear to god if he makes you cry again he’ll have to deal with me.”

So now, here you were, waiting on him to come back to finish your talk from earlier. It was helpful hanging out with y/bff/n, listening to her advice as she gave you a bit of the reality check that you needed, making sure he won’t sweep you off your feet with his familiar charm.

Your heart rate never fully calmed down as you waited for him to come back to your apartment after y/bff/n dropped you back off after your afternoon together and you were glad for the few hours of a distraction, but now your mind was fully occupied with him once again as you sat on your couch.

The knock on your door caused you to jump, hoping up and checking your appearance in your hall mirror before swinging open the door, seeing Harry standing their with a bouquet of flowers, a small smile on his face.

“Got these for you,” he began, “shoulda showed up with them when I kinda crashed into you earlier… but I was so nervous I didn’t think about it, honestly.”

“Thank you.” You softly replied, eyeing up at him and taking them from his grip, letting out a shaky breath as you welcome him in and turn on your heel, going to your kitchen to place them into a vase quickly before going back to him, seeing him in the same spot you two were sitting in earlier.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry again… and thank you for letting me come back and talk to you at all, really don’t deserve your time, but I’m thankful for it.” He began, eyes glued onto yours as he scooted closer to you when you sat down, his fingers tentatively trailing on your arm before laying his hand on your own, “I… I want you back, y/n. I want to be with you, I never stopped wanting just you.”

“Harry, I… I don’t know what to say.” You started, “I just… there’s so much still up in the air and it’s all happening so fast. Are you still with Olivia?”

“No, of course not.” He instantly answered, “we were never anything real, I left Italy when I went to the house and you were gone. I came back here and I just… I would sit outside your building in my car and just try and get the nerve to walk in to talk to you, but I was so scared of you telling me to leave again.” Harry started deep into your eyes as he continued, his own welling up with tears, “I love you so much and I was such an idiot and fuck baby… I’ll do anything to prove it you.”

Now, you two were just inches apart, his hand cupping your cheek as you leaned into it, eyes glued onto his eyes as both of your gazes were glassy, sets of eyes wandering down to one another’s lips. Your eyes fluttered up and looked at him, his nose nudging into yours, seeming to test the boundary and you simply nodded, causing him to connect your lips in an instant.

Your lips met softly, gaining speed as the passion overflowed you both as the familiar move came back easier than either of you could have imagined. You both moaned into one another’s mouths, his tongue quickly sliding past your lips as your crawled onto his lap, fingers gripping the soft material of his shirt.

Things escalated quickly as he carried you into your bedroom, body hovering over yours as his body pressed against yours, the articles of clothing disappearing piece by piece, lips never separating a second longer than they had to you as you refamilarized yourselves with one another.

His fingers dug their way into your waist as he kissed you harder, singular pieces of thin material being the only things separating you and as Harrys fingers slipped down, pulling back and looking up at you for permission, your breath caught in your throat, reality hitting you like a wave.

“I can’t do this.” You whispered, fingers removing themselves from his hair as you covered your face, voice wavering as tears welled up in your eyes once again, “I-it’s all too much, too fast- I-I, I don’t think I can do this, Harry- I can’t.”

“Fuck, it’s okay.” He whispered, crawling off from on top of you, scrambling to pick his t shirt off the floor and handing to you, quickly covering your body with it, “Fuck, I’m sorry, did I hurt you?”

You nodded quickly, knees tucking into your chest as you let out soft cries, flinching as his arm came around you, going to comfort you with the soft stroke of his arm and retracted it quickly after seeing your reaction.

“I-I… I just keep seeing you and her in my head.” You whispered, “…I don’t know if I can do this.”

#harry styles imagine #harry styles angst #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagines #harry styles masterlist #harry styles series #harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles headcannon #harry styles fanfic #bucky barnes

[beladusnotsosecertdiary]

Earn it

Fandom (picked at random since it was not requested) : Twisted Wonderland

Characters (picked at random since it was not requested) : Trey, Jack, Vil, Sliver, Azul

Type: Scenario/Headcannon

Theme: 🟦/⬜

Reader Insert: Gender Neutral

Inspiration for this post and where I got the dialogue from: Here

Warnings: Hints/References/Mentions of past abuse, past manipulation, past assault, past suicidal thoughts and foul language

Note: (s/n) = Sister's name, (ff/n) = former friend's name, (fbf/n) = former best friend, (fs/o) = former significant other

Synopsis: There are things that your boyfreind doesn't know about you. Those "things" being your past and all what had transpired in it. He wanted to know but couldn't bring himself to ask knowing that whatever happened is the reason for your closed off and rather defensive personality. Also you can be very distrusting of others. That fact that he has the chance to date you nothing short of a miracle. So he never asked and chose to wait until you finally where comfortable in sharing. Too bad life, like always, has other plans.

Your day had started off as it always did. You woke up, did your regular morning routine and was out the door by 7:30. However today is different. The only differences are that it is the weekend and you're heading out to meet your boyfreind for a date. Your boyfreind is currently a student at Night Raven College. You started dating about a year or so before they were selected to attend.

Sadly, however you were not and are not attending any other extremely prestigious school. Which honestly wasn't a big deal to you. It isn't that you didn't think you were worthy, Seven forbid your boyfreind believing you to have such thoughts, but it was because you just didn't like magic or magic users for that matter. Which is extremely ironic because you and your boyfreind are both capable of using magic.

Your unique magic is what you have come to call "Let's be honest". "Let's be honest" can only be used when you start a question with something like "Be honest", "Honestly do you really think...", or literary say "Let's be honest". Upon saying any one of those words, the person you are speaking with is forced to tell the truth and they are unable to resist, because they just say it and dont realize until it is to late.

A very handy magic when you need it. Though you only considerably recently completed this magic. About two years before you met your boyfreind.

"(Y/n)! There you are I was getting worried." Your boyfreind says walking over to you.

"Sorry." You reply with a soft smile. "Had a bit of a long night last night."

"What happened?"

"Oh my usual crappy co-worker."

"Them again? How have they not gotten fired yet?"

"Don't know. Anyway what did you have in mind today? You said that you had the whole day planned."

"I did." Your boyfreind smiles, he takes your hand. "Don't worry you'll love it."

Time Skip

Your boyfreind had taken you on quite the adventure today. He had taken you to petting zoo where you spent the rest of the morning petting and freeing cute farm animals. He then took you to a nice lunch at one of your favorite places to eat. Took you to the mall, a small shopping spree for you. Then it was a movie you had been wanting to see lately. And now you both are on your way back to your place with takeout for a late night dinner.

"Thank you. Today was very lovely." You say as you walk down the street leading into your neighborhood.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." Your boyfreind gives you a kiss on the cheek getting a giggle from you. "And thank you for letting me stay the night."

"Of course. You can always stay the night." You reply resting your head on his shoulder.

You round the corner, your house being the second one from the corner, and see a small group of people sitting on the steps of your front porch. Your body freezes recognizing the group.

"(y/n)!" Shouts someone in the group.

This same person runs over to you as you go to hide behind your boyfreind. Your boyfriend instantly catches on to how uncomfortable you are and acts like your shield.

"Sorry but who are you?" Your boyfreind asks politely.

"Oh I'm (s/n), (y/n)'s sister."

Hearing her say that makes you sick after what she did you. She assaulted you serval times by pouring on or throwing something at you. She always would say something hurtful too.

"What?" Your boyfriend looks at you.

You shake your head, "She is confused. I never had a sister."

"Don't be like that (y/n)." (s/n) says with a laugh. "Come here and give me a hug! I haven't seen you in years!"

"No!" You snarl. "I don't have a sister!"

"Don't yell at her like that!" Snaps your ex, (fs/o), who had emotionally abused you and then cheated on you with your sister, as they walk over.

(fs/o) is followed by your former best friend, (fbf/n) and another former friend (ff/n). Both (fbf/n) and (ff/n) used you. They manipulated you on serval occasions. They would get into trouble and place all the blame on you. Sometimes that would lead to a beating if it was your parents.

"I don't have to listen to you." You say venomously.

"(y/n)..." Your boyfriend speaks, "you know them?"

"I thought I did. But no. I never knew who any of them were from the start." You reply. "Now if you excuse us, we'll be heading home."

"(y/n), please can we talk? We want to be in your life again." Says (fbf/n) trying use their puppy eyes on you like they always did when they wanted you to do something.

Seeing those eyes again reminds you of all the shit you went you through, thus you snap.

"Be honest (fbf/n) is that really all you want?" You ask as your boyfriend's eyes go wide.

This is the first time you have you have used your magic since he asked you to demonstrate it. It is also how he ended up confessing to you. Most embarrassing moment of his life, but then again he was asking for it.

"We just want things to be like how they were before. When you were just a bitch that did whatever we said." (fbf/n) says then covers their mouth in shock.

"Wait (y/n) that isn't true!" (ff/n) says.

Your smirk dangerously as you say, "Hey (fs/n) did you honestly ever love me?"

"No. You just some desperate attention seeking whore." (fs/n) says then becomes shocked hearing that following from their mouth.

"How dare you!" Growls your boyfriend extremely pissed off.

"W-What!? That's not..."

"True? Of course it is." You answer. "If you still haven't caught on, this is my unique magic. I'm just making you tell the truth by asking for it."

"(y/n) please!" (s/n) pleads.

"Ya'll got what you wanted right?" You ask them glaring as your rage builds. "You fucking won. Congratu-FUCKING-lations! But now I'm sorry because this ship has fucking sailed! If you want to be part of my life- you're gonna have to fucking prove it to me now! Nobody gets a fucking free pass anymore! You want my trust?! EARN IT! You want my respect? FUCKING EARN IT! YOU WANT MY FUCKING LOVE, AND TIME, AND ENGERY!? FUCKING EARN IT! Nobody get so ride this ride for fucking free anymore! So, Congratu-FUCKING-lations to every single one of you who got their ticket and then decided to rip up the fucking ticket! You wanted this!? YOU GOT IT!"

The most toxic people in your life are stunned and silent. Much like your boyfriend. But for him, now having heard all of this makes sense why it had taken him so long to become friends with you. Without a word your boyfriend leads into your house and locks the door.

There is a long moment of him holding onto you as you break down in his arms. After a while you calm down and tell him everything. Not planned, but as of now you just need to get it out.

Trey

Listening to your past, almost makes him sick

He can't imagine one of his siblings or parents treating him in such a way

Or vice versa

And at the same time he just feels so sorry

While he probably isn't the most equipped in this situation he tries

Will do whatever you want him to do

Cuddles? Of course!

Kisses? Say no more!

Want something sweet? He'll whip it right up!

After this he'll do his best to watch out for triggers and be sure to be most honest person he can be around you

"I know it won't change anything and it isn't my fault, but I am so sorry you went through all of that alone. But I promise, as long as you allow me, I will never let any of that happen again. I may not be strong like some people I know, but I will protect you."

Jack

Angry Wolf Boi

But doesn't show if knowing it's only going to make things worse

Possibly plotting murder

Even before listening to your story it was obvious to him that you went through something terrible

Now knowing the details, he is more hyper focused on your needs

He is at your beckoning call like you won't believe

Currently what he'll do is hold you

Remind you that history isn't going to repeat itself

And most importantly that you are safe

"I know it isn't easy to rely on others after what they did, but I swear that you can rely on me. Let me show you that what I am saying is true. Just please know that you are not alone anymore. I will always be here."

Vil

Can't say he's been through exactly what you have

However, there have been some people who have lied and betrayed his trust

Even so, he can relate to feeling like he can't trust others not to be honest with him

And now after hearing your story, he as few favors to call up

He isn't about to let those people walk free and do the things they did to you to someone else

Plans on convincing you to go to the authorities, especially if they come back

"You know something, potato? The past doesn't define who you are. It will shape you, for sure. But that never means it will define you. I will do my absolute best to be honest with you. If you even think I am lying in the slightest don't hesitate to use your magic on me."

Sliver

This poor boy...

He's training to be a knight remember?

He doesn't only want to protect his young master and his father

He wants to protect you too

As someone inspiring to be a knight he feels like a failure

A true knight is supposed to save and protect those that cannot

Even if he never had any contact with you until a few years ago, he still feels like a failure

Has plans on calling both his father and his young Master

Reason he calling his father is for advice

And the Reason he is calling his Young Master is to help bring those disgusting people to justice

But for now he will comfort you and stay until you feel like you are okay on your own

In other words Malleus has lost a Knight for a few days

And Lillia as lost his son for a few days

"My dearest (y/n), I know it must be hard to believe anyone after what they did. But please believe me when I say this; I love you and even if serve the heir of the royal family, my loyalty belongs to you. I swear on my honor as a Knight."

Azul

Another person that has been through something similar

But what he went through was more of because he was a chubby boi and a octopus

Being rejected and tormented so many times during his childhood, he understands that it is hard to trust

He is aware that people deal with trauma like this differently

Like that will stop him from doing all the research he can to help you

Not to mention ensuring that this never happens again

Is going to make all of them disappear once he gets back to the lounge

Floyd has "new friends" to squeeze first off

He too is also at your beckoning call

"Oh my dear angelfish, I am sure you're going to think I am lying or just saying it, but … You are the most beautiful and the sweetest person I have ever met. Someone I believe no one truly deserves. Especially those disgusting Crustaceans. And let you take strength from the past. Be ten times better a person than ever were. I swear, as long as you will have me, I shall stand by your side every step of the way."

#disney twst #twisted wonderland #beladus' not so secert diary #trey clover #twst trey #trey x reader #jack howl #twst jack #jack x reader #vil schoenheit #vil x reader #twst vil #sliver #twst sliver #sliver x reader #azul ashengrotto #twst azul #azul x reader

[megan-is-mia]

May I ask for a nsfw scenario with number 6, 29, and 46 from the second prompt with Jade and Trey? Thanks in advance!

(ooo i've been wantin to do this couple!) 6. “You look so beautiful when you cry.” 29. “Oh, you like being choked?” 46. “I want to know what makes you squirm, what sounds you make if I touched you here—” (Yandere! Jade Leech and Trey Clover x Fem! S/o) (WARNING NSFW AND NON-CON AHEAD)

(Y/n) believed in true love, for she had seen it with her own two eyes. At Night Raven College there could not have been a more perfect pair than Trey Clover and Jade Leech. Just watching the two made the young woman’s heart jump for joy for them, how lucky they were to have found each other. You couldn’t help but feel good just by being in their proximity.

Why (Y/n) considered herself more fortunate than most that not only did she get to see such a lovely couple but could call both halves of the duo her close friends. She cherished her friendships with the boys so but as of late something had seemed a bit off. When she helped Trey cook treats it seemed like he was making constant excuses for them to touch. When she visited Jade at the Monstro Longue, his words were almost flirtatious in nature.

At first, she’d brushed off these little incidents as nothing, after all, what close friendship wasn’t sprinkled with platonic interactions that bordered on the more romantic in appearance? However, as these little incidents began to accumulate (Y/n) grew worried about the state of her friends’ relationship not only with her but with each other. Finally, it came to a head when she called both men to her room one night to discuss the matter.

“Jade… Trey… you two know I care about you but you need to stop” (Y/n) said with a grave expression. Neither male spoke so she continued her statement. “I know you two probably didn’t mean to do it, but I can’t help but feel like you’ve been flirting with me as late. The sweet words and gentle touches... it all feels too intimate to me” she clarified waiting for one of the boys to speak up and put her fears to rest. “Do you have a problem with being flirted with?” Trey finally said with a curious look in his eye. “What? Well no… I mean I’m not against being flirted with in principle” (Y/n) stammered out bemusedly at this question. “If you aren’t against the flirting then what’s the issue then?” Jade asked tilting his head to the side. The young woman blinked at him, unable to comprehend his question towards her. “Aren’t you upset? I mean... i just revealed your infidelity to each other“ (Y/n) said dumbfounded. “Oh dear one aren’t you sweet to worry about our relationship” Jade said with a coo reaching out to cup the girl’s face. “Darling I knew that Jade was flirting with you, and he knew I was also flirting with you” Trey said with a smile at (Y/n). “But… why? Why would you do that?” the young woman said flinching as her cheek was cupped.

“Why? Well it’s very simple we love you” Trey said with a chuckle. “Love me? But you two are already together! Don’t you love each other?!” (Y/n) protested. “Yes, of course, we love each other but that doesn’t mean we can’t also love you just as much” Jade said sweetly squeezing her cheek, “But I don’t love you two like that, you’re my best friends! Even if you wanted me to I can’t!” (Y/n) said shaking her head rapidly.

“It’s okay dear one, we didn’t expect you to be on board right away” Jade cooed squeezing (Y/n)’s cheek again before suddenly pushing her down on the bed. “In fact i was sorta hoping you’d be a bit resistant to the idea” he adds before climbing onto the bed and straddling her. The young man gazed down at her, his eyes alight with a strange glow that could only spell further distress for (Y/n). “I hope you two aren’t intending to leave me out of the fun” Trey said moving over to sit on the bed beside his boyfriend with a playful pout. (Y/n) looked up at the two men, her eyes starting to fill with tears that were quick to start rolling down her face. “You look so beautiful when you cry” the bespectacled male said almost in a trance, leaning down to lick up the tears before they fell off the girl’s cheeks and soaked the bed.

After the tears began to ebb, Trey switched from licking to kissing. He peppered (Y/n)’s face and neck in light kisses that left her skin feeling all tingly. While he kissed her, Jade began undressing her keeping her pinned to the bed with his body weight as he removed her top and palmed her chest. An impish grin spread across his features as he toyed with her nipples and made her let out a gasp.

“What a cute noise~” Jade cooed continuing to toy with (Y/n)’s nipples before bringing his mouth down to suck on one until it was stiff before switching to the other one sucking it until was also stiff. He continued to lavish her chest with attention while one of Trey’s hands crept down the bed and into (Y/n)’s pants to paw at her clit impatiently. The young woman tried to squirm away from the boy’s fingers with little success. “Where are you going darling?” Trey said playfully continuing to tease her clit before going further and slipping a finger into her cunt. (Y/n)’s back arched off the bed and she let out a moan. He continued probing her pussy, forcing his finger deeper and deeper twisting it around playfully. After a few minutes, he pulled his finger out with a soft pop. “Jade dear, would you mind moving so I can get the rest of our darling’s clothes off?” he cooed sweetly. “Of course” Jade crooned kissing Trey before getting off of (Y/n). “After all, I want to know what makes you squirm” he added these words directed to the young woman as he caressed her cheek and Trey pulled her bottom garments off before settling between her legs. “I wonder what sounds you make if I touched you here—” Trey mused before shoving two fingers into her cunt. Of course (Y/n)’s body reacted violently, her entire body tensing up at the intrusion as a moan slipped from her lips. Jade sat by watching, his cock in his hands as he jerked himself off to the sight before him. Trey was focused on the task before him, stretching the young woman’s cunt out for what would happen next. (Y/n) bit her lip feeling a wave of sensation about to overcome her before her vision went white with bliss. “Oh my darling, you made quite a mess” Trey said with a laugh pulling his fingers out and licking them clean. “I guess there’s no reason to waste any more time” he added sitting up and undressing completely before lining himself up with (Y/n) and thrusting in. “Fuck, you feel so tight” Trey moaned out bottoming out in the young woman. Jade began to undress himself leaning over to kiss his boyfriend and taste their sweetheart on his tongue. Trey gripped (Y/n)’s hips for a better angle and pounded her greedily, his movements calculated to hit her sweet spot without mercy. He continued to make out with Jade for a long moment before pulling away and lifting (Y/n) up into his lap with her legs spread on either side of his hips. “What are you waiting for dear? There’s plenty of room in her for both of us” he said to his boyfriend. Jade took the invitation gladly, scooting up behind (Y/n) and lining his cock up with her already stuffed hole before thrusting in. The young woman’s vision blurred at the sensation, half in pain and half in pleasure. The eel-boy thrust shallowly a few times, burying himself deeper with each movement until he was all the way in. His teeth pressed against the girl’s neck as he made a love-bite. The two young men began thrusting widely in and out hardly concerning themselves with the pleasure of the young woman between them. (Y/n) tried to scream but each attempt was cut off by Trey’s lips pressing against hers roughly. Suddenly her breathing was cut off all together as a hand wrapped around her throat and squeezed. The lack of air did nothing to stop her feeling pleasure and she came with a strangled moan. “Oh, you like being choked?” Jade said with a laugh, loosening his hold before (Y/n) passed out from oxygen-deprivation. He and Trey continued to rocket in and out of her before they eventually came deep inside her cunt with loud groans. The young woman barely registered that they’d come in her with all the thoughts that were already racing in her mind. Both men were resting their heads on her shoulders as they panted heavily. “That… was... amazing” Trey said between gasps. He began kissing across (Y/n)’s throat as they started to descend from the high of sex. After a few minutes he pulled out with a soft pop, Jade following suit a moment after and allowing (Y/n) to lay on the bed as cum began to drip out of her cunt. Trey

disappeared from view briefly before returning with a washcloth he used to wipe (Y/n)’s body clean of cum and sweat. “Well i dont know about you but i quite enjoyed myself” Jade said with a yawn before laying beside (Y/n). “Though i have to admit i’m feeling rather tired now” he added snuggling up to the young woman. “I had a good time as well” Trey said laying on (Y/n)’s other side and snuggling close. “And i’m sure our darling had a good time too” he said kissing the girl’s cheek as he got comfortable. “I cant wait to introduce everyone to our new girlfriend” Trey said cheerifully. “Me neither, life will be even sweeter now that all three of us are together” Jade agreed with a grin. “But that’ll all have to wait until tomorrow” he added after a moment. “Sweet dreams dear one” he said kissing (Y/n) before falling asleep. The young woman stared up at the ceiling sorrowfully, waiting for sleep to take her to a less miserable place… THE END

#Trey Clover #Jade Leech #Yandere Trey Clover #Yandere Jade Leech #TWST #Yandere TWST #Yandere Twisted Wonderland #Twisted Wonderland