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eddiemunsons80sbaby · 1 month

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Never Say Never

Chapter 17

Pairing: SingleDad!StevexReader

Summary: You are a 32 year old single mother, raising your seven year old son on your own. After being widowed at 30 and going out on awful dates with disgusting men for the past month, you have decided that you're giving up. You already had your great love. One person can't possibly get lucky enough to have two in their lifetime. But then your son starts playing baseball and the coach might just change your mind about that.

No posting schedule.

18+ only for eventual smut

Word Count: 8.5K

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“There she is. Welcome back, sweetheart.”

You fought through the fog to find the cheery face of a woman looking down at you, a woman you didn’t think you recognized but it was hard to tell when everything was so hazy. Your eyes blinked slowly, your lids feeling heavy. The face above you slowly came into focus, warm brown eyes that crinkled sweetly at the corners, a halo of short curly brown hair on top of her head. Who was this woman?

“That cute man of yours has been awfully worried. I had to practically chase him out of here to get something to eat. He was nodding off in the chair just waiting for you to wake up. He’s down in the cafeteria but I expect he’ll be back soon. He didn’t seem keen on leaving you.”

Cafeteria? Worried? You pressed your fists into the mattress beneath you, pushing yourself up. The woman talking to you was wearing scrubs, a badge hanging on them identifying her as Nurse Kathleen. You slowly took in your surroundings, the stark white walls, the uncomfortable bed beneath you, the chart hanging on the wall, the privacy curtain pulled back behind you.

“Oh no…” you groaned, your head flopping back against the pillow that somehow managed to be both too flat and too lumpy at the same time.

It all came rushing back to you. Steve asked you to stay the night with him and then told you the next logical step in your relationship would be to move in together. His words had sent you spiraling, nothing to grab onto, no time to complete your usual ritual, your body completely outside of your control. And then everything had gone black.

Your hands came to your face, running down slowly, mortified that you'd fallen apart in front of him again. And not just fallen apart, but fallen apart because he’d been baring his soul to you. He’d been telling you that he wanted you to share his bed, his home, his life with him. He’d been telling you he wanted to be a family. He’d been asking you to commit to him, the way he’d already chosen to commit to you and instead of assuring him, you'd completely unraveled. Way to ruin the moment. No, you didn’t even ruin it. You completely bulldozed it.

“Hey, it’s alright,” Nurse Kathleen assured, perching on the edge of the bed, her hand coming to your knee over the itchy blanket draped on top of your bare legs. “Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of. It happens to the best of us.”

No. It didn’t. Most people didn’t black out because their boyfriend started talking about a future with them. Most people didn’t wind up taking an ambulance ride because the perfect guy was declaring his commitment. Most people didn’t wind up in a hospital bed because they couldn’t handle a serious conversation. Most people were able to control their emotions, to take the blows and surprises that came with life in stride, and move on. But not you. No. You had to have a meltdown.

What was Steve thinking right now? He was probably thinking he’d made a huge mistake hooking up with someone fragile enough to come apart at the drop of a hat. He was probably thinking you didn’t want this as much as he did. Because if you did, why would the very thought of it cause a medical situation?

But you did want it. You did. Why had your body reacted like that? Why had it betrayed you during what was such a pivotal moment in your relationship? Why couldn’t you just have opened your mouth and told him you did want all of that? You wanted to fall asleep next to him each night and wake up next to him in the morning. You wanted to be a family. You wanted to commit to him. You were already committed to him.

Yeah. It was soon but he was right. You just didn’t want to get Eli’s hopes up if this relationship wasn’t going anywhere. But it was. Hadn’t Steve shown you that it was? That he was one hundred percent in it? That he wanted you and everything that came with it?

So why had you fallen apart? Why had you felt the walls closing in on you? Why had the air escaped your lungs? Why had you blacked out? You didn’t have an answer and that only angered you even more. How could you not have an answer when it was your body?

“Anyway, you should be right as rain now. I expect they’ll be releasing you any minute.”

“What?” you responded, having had no idea what the nurse had just told you, too caught up in your own pity party.

“I said we gave you a little sedative to help calm your system down. It allowed you to take a nice little rest and allowed everything to relax. But Dr. Carth should be in soon and I expect he’ll be releasing you as long as you’re feeling okay enough to go home.”

“Oh…thanks…”

You looked up at the sound of a knock to find Janice in the doorway. Your best friend covered the space in no time, rushing in and wrapping her arms around you. Your head dropped, forehead resting against Janice’s shoulder, relishing in the comfort only your best friend could provide. Your best friend who had been by your side, who had seen you at your darkest, who had breathed with you through multiple attacks, who had encouraged you to go talk to someone.

“Hey babe. You okay?”

You pulled your head back, finding Janice’s eyes, full of concern, full of memories of your descent into a pit you never thought you'd claw your way back from. You nodded, your hands wrapping around her friend’s forearms as Nurse Kathleen excused herself, quietly leaving the two friends alone.

“What the hell happened?” asked Janice, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “You haven’t had an episode this bad in forever.”

“How did you know I was here?”

“Steve called me. He said that you’d had an attack and he couldn’t bring you out of it. He said you blacked out and he had the boys call 911. He sounded terrified. Scared the shit out of me.”

“The boys…” Your eyes widened. “Where are…”

“Robin’s with them. They’re fine. Steve called her after he called 911 to see if she could come stay with them. He didn’t think you’d want Eli hanging around the hospital.”

“Shit! Eli’s probably freaking out!”

You'd done it again. You swore you were done with it but you'd terrified your son again, twice in a mere matter of weeks after doing so well for over a year. He was probably sitting in Steve’s house, worried, not understanding what was happening.

“No. He’s okay. I called him after Steve called to give me an update. I assured him that you were alright, that the doctors were taking really good care of you, and you’d be back home in the morning. Steve said they didn’t really see a reason to keep you once they got your heart rate and breathing under control.”

“Where’s Steve? Is he still here?”

Or had he left as soon as he could? That was the part you couldn’t bring yourself to voice. Had he called Janice to come up to the hospital and sit with you so he could safely get the hell away from you and your insanity? Not that you'd blame him. He’d asked you to spend the night and you'd broken in half like a graham cracker. So easy to crumble, the slightest pressure and you were snapping.

“He’s downstairs,” Janice answered. “He was talking to Nancy on the phone when I got here. I am sure he’ll be back up but he was going to give us a little time first. So, back to my original question that you have yet to answer. What in the hell happened?”

“I don’t know,” you groaned, dropping back against the bed, fingers slipping into your hair. “He asked me to stay the night. He said all our reasoning for waiting wasn’t a reason anymore because we’d both said we were in it. He said what was the big deal because we would share a bed when we moved in together which would be the logical next step. And I just spiraled. Janice, I couldn’t do anything. There was no time to look at things or hear things or feel things. It was on me, completely taking over. I couldn’t breathe. It was so damn fast. None of the tools I’ve learned were any help because I was already in the vortex of it as fast as it began.”

“Okay.” Janice’s fingers pressed against her lips. “So, did you not want to stay the night? Is this all moving too quickly for you? Did him talking about that freak you out?”

“I don’t know. That’s what pisses me off. I have no idea why it happened. I mean, I love him. I do. I want all of that with him. I want to stay the night with him. I want us to live together…I mean, eventually. I don’t know. It is fast. Right? Isn’t it? We’ve only been seeing each other for a little over a month. We’ve only known each other for like two months. I do worry about Eli. I don’t want to make some big move and then have it all fall apart around us. I can’t bear to watch his heart broken all over again. But I do want it.”

“Do you? Because your brain obviously doesn’t agree with your words.”

You growled in frustration, fingers curling in your hair, tugging. You did want it. Didn’t you? You loved Steve. You loved the way his hand always found yours when you were close, completely swallowing it in his large grip. You loved the way he put on shades and danced around, pretending to be Tom Cruise in Risky Business. You loved the way he was so patient with Eli. You loved the way he made you feel safe and secure and like you were the most precious thing in the world to him. You loved him. You wanted this. You wanted him.

“I do!” you insisted, not sure who you were trying to convince more, Janice or yourself. “I do. I don’t why the hell my body reacted like that. I don’t know why his words caused that. I want him. Janice, I want him.”

Your friend’s hands landed on your shoulders, pressing down, centering you as your heart rate kicked up, the machine next to you beeping incessantly. You closed your eyes, inhaling through your nose and blowing it out slowly through your mouth. They were about to release you. You had to calm yourself down. You did not need to give them a reason to keep you.

“Okay. Okay. I believe you. But hon, something is sending mixed signals. Some wires are getting crossed or something. There is something that is sending you into frantic mode at the thought of taking that next step with him. You have to figure out what it is.” Janice’s fingers slid under your left palm, lifting it up to your face. Your wedding band sparkled under the fluorescent lights of the hospital room. “Maybe you should start here.”

“I…but…this is…Justin…” you stammered.

“Yeah. It’s your wedding ring. The ring that Justin gave you. The ring that a man who is no longer around gave you. You’re still wearing it and it’s been two years since you lost him. Two years next week, hon. Do you think maybe that has something to do with your attack?”

Your eyes moved to the whiteboard across the room, the date written across the top, May 17, 1996. You swallowed. You'd been so swept up in this new relationship, in the excitement of it, your little bubble of joy and happiness, that it had completely slipped your mind that the anniversary of Justin’s death was coming up. He died on May 23, 1994. The worst day of your life. No. That wasn’t right. You hadn’t known then. The worst day was May 24, 1994 when two officers showed up on your doorstep.

Could that be why the attack happened? Could that be why it came on so strong and so quick? Your subconscious remembered somehow and was punishing you for forgetting, something you swore you'd never do. How could you forget? How could you not have remembered? Had everything you'd told Judith been a lie? Were you just allowing Steve to slip right in and replace Justin? Allowing yourself to forget him because you were more concerned with your own happiness?

“How could I…” you whispered, silent tears spilling from your eyes and rolling down your cheeks. “Oh my god, Janice. How could I just forget him like that?”

“Oh sweetie, don’t do that. It’s okay.”

“It’s not!”

“It is. Babe, you’re allowed to be happy. I haven’t seen you smile this much in two years. Steve makes you happy. You didn’t forget Justin. You forgot about a date. A date that is filled with nothing but pain and sadness. It’s not a date you should be focusing on anyway. Focus on the good ones. The day you went on your first date, the day you got married, the day you moved into your new house, the day you had Eli…those are the dates you want to remember. It’s not a bad thing that someone made you happy enough to forget about your pain.”

“But I swore that I wouldn’t forget. I swore that I wouldn’t let Steve replace him.”

“He’s not. He’s not replacing anybody. Look, when people lose a dog, they’re so sad. They go out and get another dog. It’s not to replace the one they’ve lost. It’s because they miss the companionship. They miss the love the dog brought to their life. They’re not forgetting their other dog. They’re simply trying to mend their broken heart with more love. That’s all you’re doing. You’re mending your broken heart by allowing Steve to pick up the pieces and reassemble them. It won’t look the same and it won’t fully heal the injury that was inflicted but it will soften it. You’ll never be the same but why would you want to? This new version of you is the one that gets to start a new chapter with the guy you love now.”

Your breath shuddered, your hands clasping together. You thought you'd dealt with all of this. You thought you were ready to move on but some part of you must have been holding on. Some part of you was not letting the past go and that part had reared its head, made itself be known, when Steve had merely mentioned the idea of taking the next step. He hadn’t even been saying you should do it now. He’d only hinted that it was what would come next.

“You don’t have to forget him, babe, but you do have to let him go. And I mean actually let him go. You’re never going to be able to give yourself to Steve fully, the way he deserves, until you do. And I don’t think your brain has gotten that message which tells me you haven’t. The attack you had tonight tells me you haven’t.” She grabbed your hand, lifting it again. “This tells me you haven’t.”

You nodded, finger and thumb coming to your ring, twirling it back and forth, remembering when Justin had slipped it on your finger. It had been a beautiful fall day. You'd always wanted a fall wedding and Mother Nature had cooperated fully, only cementing the fact in your mind that you and Justin were meant to be. So many people had told you that you couldn’t plan an outdoor wedding in October because the weather would be too unpredictable. But the sun had shown down on you, a warm breeze ruffling your hair, as you'd promised to love one another until death do they part.

Justin got to keep that promise. But you weren't gone yet. Maybe his death nullified that vow but you had no intention of breaking it. You would love him until you took your last breath. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t love Steve as well. The heart wasn’t some box of a predetermined size. It could expand exponentially to fill with as much love as you could carry. And these days, you had a lot to fill it with.

“I will. I…”

“Hey there.”

Hastily wiping your cheeks with the back of her hand, you managed to smile up at Steve, who stood in the doorway awkwardly, like he wasn’t sure if he should be there or not.

“Sorry. If I’m interrupting, I can…” He hooked his thumb behind him.

“No, no,” Janice insisted, shaking her head. “I was just getting ready to go get some coffee and see where this doctor is.” She stood, patting your shin gently. “I’ll track him down so we can get the paperwork rolling to get you the hell out of here. I promised my nephew that his mom would be home in the morning.”

“Thanks.” You reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly, your insides squeezing just as tightly when your friend walked out, leaving you and Steve alone.

He pressed his lips together, barely stepping into the room. Leaning back against the wall just to the right of the door, he propped one foot over the other, eyes down on the floor. The sight tugged painfully at your heart, knowing you'd given him reason to doubt. Reason to believe that you weren't one hundred percent in, reason to think that you would cut and run at a moment’s notice. All of this tension was completely your fault.

“How are you feeling?” he asked at the same moment you hurriedly said, “I’m so sorry.” Steve paused, his eyes flicking up to yours.

“I’m so sorry,” you repeated. “I’m so sorry that happened. I don’t know what happened. I couldn’t stop it. Usually I can focus on something. You know? But this came on so fast and I didn’t mean to scare you and I didn’t mean to scare the boys and I…”

“It’s okay,” he tried but you cut him off.

“No it’s not. I thought I had come so far. It had been over a year since I’d had a full blown attack and I’ve had two since I’ve known you.”

“Well, that’s not reassuring.” His head turned, looking out the window at a group of birds flying by. “Am…am I causing you anxiety?” Those hazel eyes fixed on you but he didn’t make a move to come any closer. “Is being with me causing you anxiety?”

You sighed, blinking back tears, “Yes.”

“Great.” He nodded, lips pouting to the side.

“But not like you think. You don’t cause me anxiety. You make me so happy. The first time it happened I was just panicking because your friends were talking about us being a couple and I wasn’t even sure you wanted that. Hell, I wasn’t sure I wanted that. My head was in such a weird place. I was worried about Eli and I was worried what it meant if I liked you. And this time, it wasn’t you. It was…”

“Me pushing you,” he finished for you, his chest rising with a deep inhale. “I was pushing you to move faster than you’re ready for. Look, I didn’t mean we should move in together now.” A harsh laugh shook his body, teeth raking over his bottom lip. “I mean, that would be insane. Obviously I don’t want to move in together any time in the near future.”

“You…you don’t?”

“No,” he scoffed. “We’ve only been dating for a little over a month. That would be completely insane. We don’t even know each other that well yet, right? Besides, I like my space. I’m not ready to give that all up yet. I mean, someday…maybe, yeah, but not anytime soon.”

Your chest felt like someone had dropped a buffalo on it, the weight pressing down, your heart that had just begun to mend starting to crack at his words. But what did you expect? After the way you'd acted, you'd expected this. You'd expected him to pull away, to put the car in reverse and slam his foot down on the pedal.

It was soon. But that didn’t seem to be how he felt last night. He’d been trying to convince you that it wasn’t too soon, that only you could decide how soon. How quickly he’d changed his mind. How quickly his feelings had changed when he was faced with what he’d be dealing with if he moved forward with you. Something he’d told you he could handle but obviously couldn’t.

“Hey!” Janice exclaimed, bouncing into the room. “Good news! I tracked down the doc and he’s on his way in to release you.”

“Great,” you replied with as much excitement as you could muster. “I’m ready to go home.”

“So, how are we doing this? Steve taking you back to his place or…?”

“No. I just want to go home,” you mumbled. “I…Steve should get back for the boys. Could you just take me home so I can get my car and go get Eli?”

Janice frowned, “Honey, I don’t think you should be driving right now. Doc says you should rest. He put a call into Dr. Watson and let her know what happened. She wants to see you as soon as possible to talk about your meds.”

“Okay. I’ll…I’ll call her on Monday. I can drive. I just…”

“I’ll bring Eli to your house,” Steve said. “If you want Janice to take you home, I’ll go get Eli and bring him to you.”

“Okay, what is happening right now?” your friend asked suspiciously, looking between the two of you.

“Nothing. I’m just…I’m really tired after everything and I just want to go home and sleep.”

“Well, then why don’t I drop you off and then I go get Eli and bring him so he can see you for a minute and know you’re okay? And then I can take him and he can stay with me and Matt for the day so you can relax.You know you’re not getting any relaxation with that kid around. Besides, Matt’s been dying to get him back to the batting cages.”

“That’s fine,” you agreed, not having the energy to argue.

“Alright. Well, then I’ll go back to the house to let the boys know everything’s good and you’re fine.” Steve rocked on his heels awkwardly, clearly uncertain as to what he should do. Would he kiss your forehead sweetly like he usually did? Would he hug you? “I’m really glad you’re okay.”

Nope. None of the above. He maneuvered around Janice and made his way out the door with barely a backwards wave. That pressure on your chest slithered down into your stomach, boulders settling in, the reality of what was happening threatening to crush you.

“What the hell did I miss in the five minutes I was gone?” asked Janice.

You didn’t answer, simply laid back on the bed, draping your hand over your face. One month of building something that looked like it might last and you'd shattered it all in one night.

____________________________________________________________

“Daddy! We’re here!”

Jeremiah came barreling through the door, instantly colliding with Miles who had been racing through the house to greet his favorite little guy. The kid fell backward and Miles was on him in an instant, covering his face with sloppy kisses while Jere squealed and laughed.

Nancy walked in behind him, Jeremiah’s backpack slung over one shoulder, which she dropped down onto the floor. Miles bounded over to her and she crouched down, scratching the massive beast behind his ears and pressing a kiss to his snout.

Jeremiah leapt up from the ground, eyes shining when he saw the snack that Steve had been preparing for him. “Oreos and milk! Yes!” His feet pounded over the hardwood in his race to get to the table.

“Thanks for picking him up for me,” Steve told Nancy.

“No problem.” Rising to her feet, she brushed her hands down the front of her jeans in a pointless attempt to rid them of dog hair. “But why couldn’t you get him today?”

“Oh…uh…” He turned his back on her, placing the Oreos back into the cabinet as his brain scrambled for a reasonable excuse as to why he didn’t pick up his son. “Meeting. Yeah. Meeting about the new development. We’re breaking ground next week and we had to…you know, flesh some things out. Make sure it’s all going to run smoothly.”

“Uh-huh…”

She didn’t believe him. He could tell she didn’t believe him. Maybe they hadn’t been right for each other but he knew Nancy. He knew all her tones, gestures, and facial expressions and she knew his. And her tone right now was letting him know that she knew something was up.

Steve dropped into the chair next to Jeremiah, eager to get the focus off of himself, “How was school today?”

“It was good,” Jere shrugged before shoving a milk soaked cookie into his mouth.

“Just good? No stories to tell today?” Steve urged, needing his son to tell one of his long drawn-out stories of second grade drama. He needed something, anything, to get Nancy’s eyes to stop focusing on him.

“Well, Brent is finally being nice to everybody.”

“Oh yeah? That’s great!”

His son rolled his eyes, “I guess. But he’s only being nice because nobody would play with him anymore. Even Travis and Ricky stopped playing with him because he started calling them names and being really mean to them too.”

“Isn’t that a good thing? That he’s being nice?”

“I don’t know. Is he only going to be nice until everyone plays with him again and then he will be mean again? I think we should just keep ignoring him because he’s a bully. Beth asked him to swing with her today and he used to steal her food and tell her she was fat! Why would she even want to play with someone like that? I don’t think we should just forget all the bad stuff he did.”

“You don’t forget,” Nancy told him, stepping into the kitchen to take the chair on the other side of their son. “But you can forgive. If he’s genuinely trying to change, that’s a good thing. Sometimes even the biggest jerks can change for the better and turn out to be pretty good guys.”

She smirked at Steve, one eyebrow lifting knowingly and he pressed his lips together, putting his head down. He would never live down his King Steve days, walking around like he owned the school, picking on those he saw as inferior to himself, including his ex-wife’s current husband. He was a Brent at one time and that thought disgusted him, the idea of who he used to be, but it was something he swore he’d never be again.

“Yeah but what if he hasn’t really changed? What if he’s just pretending so we all play with him again and then, bam! He’s back to being a big, fat jerk!”

“Well, you’ll have to wait and see. If he goes back to being a jerk, then you all refuse to allow it again. But maybe you all showing him that you would not accept his behavior was enough to change him. Maybe he realized if he kept acting like that he would be all alone and he’s really trying to do better. Sometimes when someone sees how it feels to be the person who’s being treated badly, they see how wrong it is.”

“Maybe…” Jeremiah didn’t sound entirely convinced.

“Regardless, just because he was mean doesn't make it right for you to be mean back. You all ignored him because you were standing up for yourself and that’s okay but if you do it now, then you’re being just as mean as he was. You should at least give him a chance to show you that he’s trying.”

“I guess. Eli doesn’t trust him either. Brent asked Eli who his favorite superhero was at lunch and Eli just walked away from him. He said Brent was probably just asking so he could make fun of him for it. But I’ll tell him we should at least try to be his friend. But if he does it again, I will never be his friend.”

“I think that’s fair. You’re giving him a chance to show he is sorry. If he doesn’t show that, then you shouldn’t give him any more chances,” Steve stated. “I’m really proud of you two for getting everyone to stand up to him. You not only stood up for yourselves but for others and that’s something to be proud of. You’re growing into a good little human, kid. There’s not much else I could ask for as a dad.”

“Where do you think he’s getting that?” asked Nancy and when he just looked at her, she laughed, rolling her eyes. “He’s learning from you. You don’t hesitate to stand up for others. And you always do the right thing by the people you care about. You’re one of the bravest people I know. Our son has a pretty amazing role model to look up to.”

Her words hit him, a blow to the chest that almost knocked him back off his chair. Because he wasn’t doing the right thing by someone he cared an awful lot about right now and he knew it. He was hiding and avoiding instead of facing it because he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to know what was on the other side of the curtain he was concealing himself behind. There was nothing brave about it.

“Hey daddy. Can Eli come over tonight? We haven’t played together, besides at school, since his mommy had to go to the hospital.”

Nancy’s brows shot up her forehead at this revelation. Those stormy blue eyes were fixed on him, her arms folding on top of the table. Shit. His son had just ratted him out, whether he’d meant to or not, and there would be no getting out of this now. When Nance had her laser fixed on you, there was no escape.

“Hey Jere, don’t you have some homework to do?” Nancy asked.

“Yeah, but daddy didn’t say if Eli could come over.”

“Not tonight buddy, okay? But we’ll make sure he comes over soon.”

“Why not?” Jere demanded. “We saw each other every day and now I haven’t hung out with him in four days. Are you and his mom fighting? Did you break up? Because Eli said he asked her last night when we were going to see them again and she said she didn’t know. Why wouldn’t she know? Did you mess up?”

“It’s complicated. Look…”

“Jeremiah, I need you to go upstairs and do your homework, okay?” Nancy stated calmly, letting her son know that there would be no more arguing. “Your dad and I need to talk and then we will talk about Eli and his mom and when you can see them later.”

“Fine,” his son growled, angrily dropping his cup and plate into the sink. He grabbed his backpack by the strap, dragging it behind him, his feet stomping loudly on each stair to make certain they knew just how unhappy he was.

Nancy stayed quiet, her eyes on the stairs until they heard the slam of Jeremiah’s door, an exclamation point on his anger and annoyance at being dismissed. Certain their son would not overhear, she turned to Steve, hands clasping on top of the table.

“Alright, spill. What’s going on?”

Steve put on the best clueless face he could manage, lips mashed together, eyes wide and confused, head shaking side to side. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Nance.”

“Oh cut the bullshit, Steve Harrington. I’ve known you for way too long to buy that. You are head over heels for this girl. I’ve never seen you so gone for anyone and you really expect me to believe you haven’t seen her for four days and nothing’s going on?”

“I don’t know what to tell you,” he shrugged, drumming his fingers on the tabletop.

“How about the truth?”

Damn Nancy and her perceptive nature. He sighed, sinking further down in the chair, resigning himself to having to tell her what was going on. She wouldn’t leave until he did.

“Fine. The truth is, I thought she felt the same way about me that I did about her but she doesn’t, okay? I thought she wanted forever. I thought she saw this as a long term, endgame kind of thing, but she clearly doesn’t so what’s the point in continuing it?”

“What in the hell are you talking about?” hissed Nancy. “Are you out of your mind? I’ve seen the way that girl looks at you. She’s just as crazy about you as you are about her.”

“She’s not. Trust me.” He shoved back from the table roughly, standing up, hands on his hips, back to Nancy.

“What made you think this? What happened? I know she had that bad anxiety attack but…”

“Yeah. She had that anxiety attack after I asked her to spend the night with me. After I mentioned that the next step for us would be moving in together. And look, I know it was fast and I know I do that all the time.” His hands flailed uncontrollably as he paced back and forth, feeling all the threads that held him together coming unraveled as he poured out his soul. “I probably shouldn’t have even mentioned something like that yet. But Nance, I’ve never felt the way I do about her. I…it’s not like the way I love baseball or a medium rare steak or hitting the snooze button an extra time in the morning. She consumes me. She’s all I can think about. When she’s with me I never want to let her go and when she’s gone I just want to be with her again. It’s like I’m in free fall and I’m scared to death I’m just going to splat on the ground. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want her.”

His fingers moved roughly through his hair, his feet stopping. Steve turned to Nancy, chest heaving, his hands curling around the top of the chair, to find her wide eyed, jaw almost to the table.

“Wow…okay…I mean, I knew you really liked her but you’re completely in love with her.” Her tongue traced the seam of her lips, fingers coming to her chin. “You’re in really deep, aren’t you?”

“I’m fucking drowning, Nance. I’m out here in the waves being thrown about, water filling my lungs, holding my hand out to her but she’s not going to take it.”

“You don’t know that, Steve.”

“I do! I do know that. Why would the idea of moving in with me send her into an anxiety attack unless the very thought was too much for her to handle? And I’m just going to keep sinking in the endless ocean if I don’t get out now until it’s too late and I am destroyed. Stuck on the bottom like the Titanic until I rot and pieces of me fall off and everything that was good about me is rusted and decayed!”

“Wow…you know King Steve really was the perfect nickname for you.”

His eyes shot over to her, annoyed, “Excuse me?”

“King Steve, as in drama king. Jesus, Steve. The girl struggles with anxiety. She has no control over when it happens and you’ve made it all about you. You’ve convinced yourself that this mental illness she struggles with has anything to do with you. How about you make your way out of the deep end and head back over to the shallows with the rest of us Mr. Swim Captain?”

“I’m not saying it’s all about me but it’s called an anxiety attack because it’s triggered by anxiety, right? Which means the idea of moving in with me someday caused her to have anxiety. Doesn’t exactly scream that she’s excited at the idea of a future with me.”

“Maybe she is. I mean, did you even talk to her about it?”

“No,” he scoffed. “I’d just sent her to the damn hospital, Nance! That was on me and my big mouth. So I assured her I didn’t mean now. I didn’t want to move in together now. I told her that would be crazy, that I wasn’t ready, that I like my space. I didn’t want to send her into another attack.”

Nancy’s hand covered her face, a deep groan audible from behind it, “You are such an idiot, Steve Harrington.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Trying to keep her calm makes me an idiot? She clearly didn’t want to be around me. She asked her friend, Janice, to take her home. She wanted no part of coming back here.”

“And that couldn’t have been because you’d just made it sound like she was invading your bachelor lifestyle, could it? “

“What? No! I…” Had that been what he’d said? No. He hadn’t said that, not in so many words, but could that have been how you'd taken it? “Okay. Maybe not the best way to word it but I just didn’t want to upset her again. I panicked, okay? I’d just had to call 911. I’d watched her struggle to breathe, Nance. It was terrifying. I didn’t want to say anything that could set her off again.”

“She’s not a rocket, Steve. There’s no fuse to light. You will never know what is going to cause it because she probably doesn’t know. So, let me get this straight. The girl has an anxiety attack, one that is so bad that she has to be taken to the hospital. She’s scared, obviously, and probably nervous about what you’re thinking. Not to mention embarrassed that it happened in front of you, again, if I’m correct. And then you tell her that you don’t want her invading your space and haven’t called her in four days to even see how she’s doing and are such a wuss that you send me to pick up Jere on your day so you don’t have to see her? This sounds like how an adult handles things to you?”

“Well, I…I mean…”

But what does he mean? He doesn’t even know. Nancy’s right. He didn’t even give you a chance to explain. You apologized to him and he just shut you down, his fear rising up, stacking bricks in front of him in an effort to protect himself because he was terrified. Terrified of the power you had to completely annihilate him with just a few words.

“I’m scared,” he admitted, chewing on his lower lip, closing his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see the pity he was sure was all over Nancy’s face. “I’m scared of how bad it will hurt if…when she decides to leave me.”

“I know you are. But Steve, that’s the risk you take. You can’t be with someone, truly give yourself to them, without there being the risk that you could have your heart broken. Even now, there is always a risk that Jonathan could walk out the door. He could wake up one morning and tell me he doesn’t feel the same. So what do I do? Choose to walk away first? Choose to be alone just in case? But alone is lonely, Steve. If you want this, you’re going to have to accept the risk that comes with it.”

“But what if…”

“What if what? What if you get hit by a bus tomorrow? What if a plane crashes into the middle of town? What if aliens invade or there’s a zombie apocalypse? You can play the what if game forever if you want. But it won’t get you the one thing you really want. It won’t get you her. It won’t get you happiness. It won’t get that happily ever after you’ve been chasing for years. All it will get you is you talking yourself right out of this. She's already suffered loss. Don’t make her lose you too. Not when she doesn’t have to. Not when it’s just your own ego and fear that’s in the way.”

“Okay but what if…” He held up his hand when Nancy opened her mouth, ready to interrupt him again. “What if I go to her and she tells me this was all a mistake? What if she says that the mention of moving in together just showed her she’s not sure she really wants this? What then?”

“Then at least you know instead of sitting around here moping and sending me to pick up our kid like I’m your personal chauffeur. Wouldn’t it be better to know? Because if you don’t, you’re going to spend the rest of your life wondering.”

Would it be better to know? Steve wasn’t so sure. It depended on what you had to say.

___________________________________________________________

Four days…four days and absolutely nothing from Steve. You wanted to scream into the void, to pound your fists against the wall, to throw things and feel the satisfaction of watching them smash into pieces. But you couldn’t. Your son was downstairs eating his snack of popcorn while watching Hey Arnold. You had to keep control of yourself. You couldn’t scare your son anymore. You'd done enough of that over the last couple months.

You'd thought Steve just needed some time. And you were more than willing to give that to him. But when Nancy had shown up at pick-up today, on a day you knew was supposed to be Steve’s, all hope that this was some temporary thing disintegrated. Nancy didn’t seem to really know why she was picking up Jeremiah for him but you didn’t need a reason because you already knew.

He’d decided you were too much for him. It was a lot to ask anyone to take on. Your grief, your past, your overbearing mother-in-law, your mental struggles, your son…what man would willingly want to walk into all of that? He’s even said it. He didn’t want you invading his space. He didn’t want you with your anxiety that crept up at the worst times with no notice and your past that kept dragging you down.

Your eyes fell to your ring again, the simple engagement band with a small diamond in the middle, tiny diamonds on either side, soldered to a solid gold band after you were married. Justin apologized right after you'd said yes, assuring you he would get you a better ring when you had more funds. But you never wanted one, not even after the two of you were bringing in more cash. The cost of the ring had never mattered. This piece of jewelry was priceless to you. It wasn’t just gold and stones. It was a promise. It was a feeling. It was a period in your life that would forever be precious.

But Janice was right. It had been two years. How could you possibly hope to ever move on when you were still holding on so tightly. When you couldn’t even let go of the symbol that represented what was, how could you possibly hope to embrace what could be?

Maybe it wouldn’t be Steve. Maybe you'd ruined any chance you had of him being the one. Maybe he was done with you, glad he’d dodged the bullet that was your instability. But that didn’t mean you didn’t still have a chance of moving on, even if it was alone. If you truly wanted to let the past go, then you had to release it and along with it, the guilt that weighed you down, that kept telling you that you were still tied to Justin.

You knew what you needed to do. It was time. It had been time for a long while now. Walking over, you grabbed the phone and made a call.

___________________________________________________________

“Hey, baby,” you greeted the slab of granite as you dropped down to your knees on the soft ground. Your fingers trailed over the grass, plush and full now, remembering when it was nothing but dirt, your fingers clawing into the loose soil as your tears created puddles, your screams wrenched into the empty air.

A soft exhale released through pursed lips as you prepared yourself for the toughest conversation of your life. Well, until the conversation you intended on trying to have after this one. Your fingers gravitated to the stone, tracing over the etched letters, spelling out the name of the person you had believed would be your forever.

You didn’t come here often anymore. You and Eli would bring a pizza and have a picnic on his birthday in August. That was something you'd promised him the two of you would always do. You would always bring a wreath at Christmas. The first year you'd been here twice a week, needing to feel close to him, even if logically you knew nothing was here but a cold, empty body.

But then you'd started therapy and as you began to feel like you were getting a handle on your grief, your need to be here lessened. It wasn’t gone. People who say that grief passes with time are lying. It enters your body and stays, altering you forever. It never completely disappears. You just learn to live with it more as each day passes. The jagged edges get just a bit more rounded, softer, not quite so painful but they’re still there.

“I miss you, you know that?” Your head dropped, your body rounding in on itself. “I miss you so damn much, all the time. I thought it would never get better. I thought it would never get easier. For so long, I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like I couldn’t live without you.”

You could barely remember those dark days when Eli was the only thing dragging you out of bed in the morning. You could barely remember them because you weren't really there. It was like a part of you had died right alongside Justin and you were just a body walking around, going through the motions, for the sake of your son.

The nights when Janice would take him because you didn’t have the strength to pretend. When you would lay in your bed and cry and scream until you had nothing left. When you would curse God and the universe for taking him from you, for leaving your son without a father, for leaving you alone in the world, for destroying your life.

Now, grief would hit you at the weirdest times. Most times it was just a small twist of your stomach, uncomfortable but manageable. Sometimes it was debilitating, to the point where you wanted to curl into the fetal position. You missed his smile, the way he laughed with his whole body, his voice whispering in your ear…things that were getting harder and harder to hold onto as time passed. But you wouldn’t let them go. You held on as hard as you could, refusing to let him fully slip away from you.

“But somehow, day by day, breathing became a little easier. I finally felt like I was back in my body. I was still sad. I was missing you. But I was able to enjoy the sun on my face, the sound of our son’s laughter, getting a cup of coffee with Janice. I could smile again. I could live again. All these things that I’d lost for so long because I was shrouded in my grief. It was a weight pressing down on me but I got help and…and now, there’s someone. Someone who is helping lift the weight off of me, who makes me feel like I might really have a shot at being happy again.”

You swallowed, your eyes slipping closed as tears escaped, trails of emotion running down your cheeks and off your chin. You pulled your lower lip between your teeth, bracing yourself.

“His name is Steve and he makes me really happy. For the first time since I lost you, I have hope. Hope that I can still have love. And Eli adores him. He’s so good with him. He’s a dad too. His son is the same age and they’re best friends. That’s actually how we met each other. He coaches Eli’s baseball team. You’d be so proud of him. He’s learned so much and he’s a hell of a little player. Him and Jeremiah…” You snorted, wiping your face with the back of your hand. “They’re such devious little rascals. They’ve been plotting us being together since we met. I think they knew something we didn’t or something.”

Your eyes roamed skyward as a flock of geese soared overhead, their honking breaking the silence of the cemetery. They were coming home to the warmth and the new life that Spring brought with it. Just like you, they were turning toward new possibilities and leaving behind the past.

“I love you. I will always love you. You…you showed me what love is. You showed me what it means to give all of yourself to another person. You showed me what a beautiful gift that can be, even if it was taken from you far too soon. I will never forget you. I will always be grateful for the time we had together. You will always be my first love, but…” Your thumb and forefinger gripped the gold band, slowly sliding it along your fingertip until it was free, the skin bare for the first time in over a decade. “But it’s time to say goodbye. I have to let you go. I have to do this if I have any chance of moving on. And I may have ruined my shot with Steve. It might be too late already because I couldn’t do this before but I have to try. I have to believe you’d want me to.”

A warm breeze suddenly picked up, lifting your hair, wrapping around you like a hug and you closed your eyes, smiling through the tears streaming down your face.

“I love you to Pluto and back…” you whispered into the wind, recalling your phrase, Justin declaring the moon wasn’t far enough to show how much he loved you. Pressing your fingers to your lips, you pressed them to the stone, slipping your ring into her pocket.

“Honey?"

You gasped at the sound of that voice, in this place. What in the world was he doing here? Turning your head, you wondered if he was a figment of your imagination, something you'd dreamed up because your desire to see him was so strong.

“Steve?”

Chapter 18

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seungmoonandstars · 3 months

Note

Can you do a one shot of Blind Date!Seungmin comforting and just being sweet and emotionally supportive of mc?? I need more some cozy soft minnie

thank you!

August, 4AM

Kim Seungmin/Female Reader

wc: ~1.1k

rating: fluff -`♡´-

comments: Soft boyfriend Seungmin is always good and welcome 🤍 also easy to sneak into their timeline for 2023

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

The phone buzzes again. Just another text, and you know who it is, but you don’t have the energy to answer. You don’t even have the energy to turn over and look at it. The empty bed isn’t the best place for you right now, but there’s nowhere else to go, and there’s nowhere you need to be.

Another text. And then a phone call. You ignore that, too, because you you’ve been crying too long and too hard.

But you do turn when you hear a video call come through. Only one person does that.

Seungmin speaks before you even see him come into view.

“Baby what are you doing, why are you crying? You look like you’ve been crying all day”

“Just a few hours”

“Just a few hours?” His head tilts to the side like a puppy, and you laugh for the first time all day. “That sounded better, now tell me what’s wrong. Why are you upset? Is it me?”

“No, of course it’s not you”

“I texted you a few times, you didn’t answer…don’t make me worry. Did you get some sleep?”

His voice is so quiet and gentle and patient.

“I didn’t, no…what are you doing? When are you coming home?”

“I just finished packing, and we are headed to the airport”

“To come home?”

“Yeah, coming home”

Both of you are quiet for a moment—you just stare at the screen, he’s preoccupied double checking his room as he heads out.

“A few other stops first, probably, then home. So it might be very late. But we can talk if you want...”

“I’ll be here”

Seungmin manages a wave, and then you hear familiar voices join him, so you know he has to hang up. But before he does, he brings his face up to the screen and kisses.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆

The beep of the keypad is so loud in the quiet hallway, and he’s sure it’s echoing all the way into the apartment and through every wall. Seungmin hopes you’re asleep, and he doesn’t want to wake you yet.

Everything is amplified as he walks in and sets his bags down. The tv is on, so he can at least see where he’s going, and he doesn’t trip on his way to the kitchen to grab a beer from the fridge. He grabs two, then thinks better of it and grabs one more. Now he heads for the bedroom.

The string lights are on, the puppy nightlight is on, and the bathroom door is cracked just enough to see some light coming through. You’re a small, curled up lump on the far side of the bed—half covered by the blanket, Seungmin’s pillow and yours both stuffed under your head, and when he walks around the bed, he sees your Daengmo plush wrapped up in your arms. He still doesn’t want to wake you, you look so comfortable and deeply asleep. But very gently, he sets the bottles on the table, and then he starts to undress, because usually, you sense his presence and wake up on your own.

It takes you a while this time, and Seungmin knows you’re exhausted, so he’s not surprised when you don’t stir until he climbs onto the bed and opens his beer. Even then, you only kick your feet and roll over on your back. He has to lean down and place a kiss on your cheek before you finally open your eyes.

“Minnie” your voice is scratchy from sleep and crying, “you’re here.”

“I’m here, peach. Did you fall asleep when we got off the phone?”

“Eventually,” you sit yourself up and scoot into his open arms. “What time is it? Did you bring me one?”

He hands you his open bottle, then grabs another for himself.

“It is 4:15…do you feel any better?

“I’m better now that you’re here”

“Why have you been so upset? What’s going on?”

You lay against him and press your cheek into his chest. One arm wraps tight around your shoulders, the other lifts his beer to his mouth until he downs half of it.

“I’m not sure. Maybe it’s a lot of things piling up and getting to me. I left work early and might take some time off.”

“You just feel sad? I understand, I get that way sometimes.”

When you don’t answer, he pulls you closer and sets his chin on top of your head. “Time off is good, I’ll be here for a few days, if you want company.”

“You always tell me, right?”

“Tell you what?”

“When you get sad”

“When I need to talk about it, yes. Promise.” Seungmin reaches and sets his empty bottle on the table, grabs the last one, opens it. “Sometimes I think you’re more…what was it you called me before? Stoic...you’re more stoic than I am. So maybe we should get some sleep, and talk more in the morning.”

“After you finish that.” You finally take a drink of your own. “How was your flight? And the trip? And your tiktok dance challenge?”

“My tiktok dance…uhm, oh oh,” his eyes widen a little, “jealous? You never get jealous.”

“Maybe…it was a cute. They were cute. You were even more cute.”

He squeezes you tight, “you're cute, and you have nothing to worry about. I only have eyes for you.”

“Do they have eyes for you…do they flirt with you?”

Your chin is lifted until he can look you in the eyes, but he doesn’t talk—he waits a few moments, then kisses you once on the lips. “No, not really. They don’t look at me the way you do. Nobody does.”

“I don’t believe that.” You reach up and pinch his cheek. “Have you seen yourself?”

Seungmin smiles and shows you his teeth, then shakes his head back and forth, “did that…get to you, maybe? And jump on your pile of bad things and knock everything over?”

The look he gives you is clever and endearing, and one eye closes slowly until he’s winking. He just knows. He can read your mind sometimes. You make it easy, though.

“You’re allowed to feel jealous sometimes, but you don’t need to worry, k?”

“I know, I just miss you. And of course I want your company, pup. You’re the only company I need.”

He’s thinking—trying to get his next words in order. “How would you feel about other company? Me and you aaand—“

Before you answer, you catch up with where his second bottle is. “You wanna let our secret out…more? I’m starting to think we’re not actually a secret anymore.”

“Maybe. But dinner with just,” he holds up two fingers, “whatever you’re in the mood for, they’re not picky.”

“When? Soon? Before you leave?”

You’re perking up, and he can tell. The color is returning to your cheeks, and he helps it along by pinching gently at them. “Yes, how about the Wednesday night?”

#kim seungmin x reader #kim seungmin x y/n #kim seungmin x you #seungmin x reader #seungmin x you #seungmin x y/n #kim seungmin fluff #skz seungmin #☾ blind date #kim seungmin fanfic #seungmin fanfic #seungmin fluff

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cosmerelists · 25 days

Text

What Cosmere Characters' Rooms Look Like (But Mostly In Terms of Vibes)

As requested by @rainbyanyothername :)

Here is my take on what the vibe of Cosmere characters' rooms would be--vibes mostly because I don't want to be stuck to, like, what bedrooms are canonically like in the various worlds. We're going by vibes, baby!

1. Adolin

I think that, as soon as he stopped having to abide by his father's strict "all rooms must follow the codes somehow" standards, Adolin went his own way...and that way was tasteful and fashionable. Adolin is the sort of guy whose bedroom pieces all match--but not in a "all bought from a matching set" kind of way, but rather, like, a deep orange bedspread and a forest green rug that somehow complement each other beautifully. It's neat--he is NOT going to wrinkle his clothes by tossing them over a chair--but also clearly lived in and homey.

2. Zellion

He doesn't have a room. :( He's always on the run. :( How rude of you to even ask. :(

3. Shallan

I just remember how happy Shallan was to be in that big fluffy comforter when she first moved in with Sebarial. I think she'd love to have that deeply soft bed and that big fluffy comforter and a beanbag chair and also a big egress window in case she has to escape in the night to do spy stuff. It is also definitely not neat.

4. Jasnah

Well...we know nothing is soft if Jasnah can help it. Her mattress is firm, her rug (if she has one) is low-pile, and she has bookshelves everywhere.

5. Wax

I think he has deerskin-rug-on-the-floor-guns-on-the-walls-but-also-everything-in-there-costs-one-million-dollars vibes. Except for the boots, which Wayne left behind as a trade and are worth $1.50.

6. Ranette

Her room is gross and cluttered and every single surface is either guns or gun parts.

7. Dalinar

I mean, surely this one is obvious: his room is Spartan. Dalinar has the minimum amount of furniture necessary to make a room a room, and he didn't even have any photographs before Navani came along. He thinks slippers are extravagant.

8. Lightsong

I mean, this one is clear from canon. Lightsong has, like, nineteen pillows and sixteen blankets and carpets on top of his carpets and a lot of objects that could only be called "baubles."

9. Sigzil

I don't think Sigzil is quite as Spartan as Dalinar--or at least, it isn't a moral thing for him. I think Sigzil would live fairly simply because he's not a big stuff person, and it would be neat on the surface but perhaps a bit dusty if you looked too closely because he's out a lot.

10. Zane

All I know is that his room has a My Chemical Romance poster on its wall...in, like, vibes.

11. Breeze

He has a wine fridge. It's by the bed. His room his mostly tasteful and masculine and, like, full of oak...but also there are sparkly pink pillows and doilies everywhere. We all know why.

12. Kelsier

Kelsier's room would be a sanctuary to Mare; like not-touched-at-all-since-she-was-last-there-even-though-he-feels-like-weeping-whenever-he-sees-it-but-he-can't-throw-away-that-crumpled-up-kleenex-because-Mare-touched-it sort of vibes. Sorry :(

13. Vasher

His room his gross. He thinks he can wear his socks three times before they need washing and in the meantime he will be leaving them on that chair.

14. Vivenna

Her room is very neat--she definitely makes her bed every morning and actually moves books to dust underneath them--and there is, just, no color anywhere.

15. Kaladin

If you asked Kaladin what he wanted in a bedroom he would be like "A mattress?? To sleep on?? What else do you need in a bedroom???" And yes, he's definitely a mattress-put-directly-on-the-floor boy. But then Syl keeps collecting cool leaves and flowers and putting them around, and there are some rocks from Tien, and a flute that somehow ended up back with him, and Adolin gave him something called a "decorative pillow" and in the end it's still a mattress on the floor but surrounded by things brought in by people who love him.

#cosmere #cosmerelists #Adolin #Zellion #Shallan #Jasnah #Wax #Ranette #Dalinar #Lightsong #Sigzil #Zane #Breeze #Kelsier #Vivenna #Vasher #Kaladin

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captainamericasmotercycle · 9 months

Text

Delicate

is it cool that i said all that? is it chill that you’re in my head?

pairing: jake seresin x reader

warnings: drinking/being drunk

wc: 841

a/n: just a fun little blurb ☺️

absolutely DO NOT steal my work and post it on other platforms. DO NOT feed my work to AI fuck that

Getting shit-faced early into a Friday night probably wasn’t in your best judgement. It was barely 11 and you already had so much alcohol in your system - but after a bad week at work, you needed it.

It wasn’t really your fault that it happened with almost all of your coworkers there, but they invited you to a bar. Were you just supposed to sit there and not drink?

You were barely coherent talking to some guy at the bar whom had just bought you another drink when you felt a strong hand on your upper arm pulling you off your stool and towards the door.

“Alright, you’ve had enough,” Jake stood in front of you with a hard look on his face.

“No, I didn’t finish,”

“Yes, you have. You’ve been drinking all night, darlin’, it’s quitting time,” he pulled you out the door of the Hard Deck.

“No,”

“Yes, c’mon, let me take you home,” he begged, opening the passenger door of his truck.

“But Natasha said she wanted to take me home,”

“She told me to bring you home, now c’mon,”

You hesitantly got in but Jake reassured you that you were okay. You love Jake, you’d decided that about 4 drinks and 5 years ago.

“I can tell you love me,”

“Yeah? How so?”

“Because you care about me and you’re taking me home.”

“I care about all my friends,”

“Yes, I know, that’s why I love you,”

“You love me, huh? Well I love having you as a friend too,” Jake was treading carefully, simultaneously being shocked at the words coming out of your mouth. He’d loved you for years, but had always been too hesitant to say anything because he didn’t think you felt the same.

“I do love you!! But as more than my friend,” you whispered the last part, to where it was barely audible.

“You got no idea what you’re sayin’, you’re drunk,”

“I may be drunk, but I do love you,” you slurred your words and smiled dopily at him.

“Tell me when you’re sober, and I’ll show you what love is.”

He pulled into your driveway and didn’t say another word to you. Processing everything you just said is fucking difficult, it’s not every day the girl you’ve loved and pined over tells you she loves you back.

He helped you out of your car and into your house.

“Bye, Jake, I love you,”

“Alright, darlin’, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he turned to leave when you shouted at him.

“Wait! Can you stay?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,”

“Please, I can sleep on the couch,”

“No, I’m not taking your bed,”

“Okay, then you sleep on the couch,”

“Baby..”

“Please, Jake,” he took a deep breath. It felt morally wrong to sleep over, especially since you were heavily inebriated, but he could take care of you if he stayed.

“Alright,” he locked his truck and then your front door.

You went to your bedroom to change and get ready for bed. After about 15 minutes of Jake awkwardly wandering around your house, you brought out a couple blankets and a pillow.

You said your goodnights and you went to your room. You were out almost immediately, Jake however, laid awake for what he thought was another 5 hours pondering what had happened and how he’d gotten on your couch.

You’d woken up with a glass of water and Tylenol by your bed. You look around to see if anyone had come home with you, because you can’t really remember anything.

Your bed and bathroom were clear, so you got up, brushed your teeth, took the meds, and walked out into the kitchen. That’s when you saw him.

Lieutenant Jake Seresin was standing in your kitchen, shirtless.

“I hope you don’t mind that I changed, I had a pair of sweats in my car,”

You stuttered put a response, “Um, yeah, no, that’s fine.”

You finally remembered what had happened last night, and embarrassingly so. You remembered everything from drinking way too much, to telling Jake you love him, to keeping him hostage on your couch.

You walked over to the coffee machine and poured yourself a cup. A tense silence hung between the two of you.

“So about last night,” you started.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry,”

“For?”

“Getting shit-faced, saying some… things, and keeping you hostage,”

“Don’t stress it, we all have our moments, believe me,” he let out a light hearted laugh, he paused for a minute before speaking again, “Do you not remember what I said?”

“I do,” he let out a hum to your response, “and I do… still love you.”

His eyes brightened and he pulled you into him by the waist. He held your face and smiled as he leaned in to press a kiss to your lips.

You fell into the kiss and God, have you waited for this.

#jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x reader #top gun maverick #hangman top gun #top gun #bradley rooster bradshaw #x reader #jake seresin #bradley bradsaw x reader

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shewhohangsoutincemeteries · 3 months

Text

to ashes, ultimatum

Clint Barton x F!Reader

To Ashes, Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Summary: it's time for you and clint to face the music. and each other.

Warnings: angst, fluff.

Word Count: 2,718

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prologue - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 -31 - 32 - 33 - 34

Days Since the Decimation: Three Years, Sixty-Four Days

Early afternoon sunlight urged your eyelids to part, and you woke reluctantly, cocooned comfortably in the sheets. Your body ached pleasantly as you stirred, and heat rose in your cheeks as the night before came back to you. Squeezing your thighs together briefly, you finally opened your eyes properly. The warmth in your face increased as your gaze focused on the expanse of Clint’s thigh, the tanned skin only interrupted by the dark cotton of his boxer briefs.

He was sitting up against the headboard, his chest still bare, his hand wrapped around the coffee cup balanced on the thigh closest to you. The scent of it teased at your sleep-addled senses, and you groaned softly. His gaze had been fixed blankly across the room, a furrow between his brows, but at your stirring he turned his attention towards you.

“You’re awake.”

“Looks that way,” you mumbled, your voice rough from the night before.

It was so worn after what you’d done only hours ago, and the memory of your eyes rolling back as Clint’s mouth had found the side of your neck made butterflies rise in your stomach. His mouth on your throat had meant that he’d felt your moan build before it even escaped you, and his teeth had grazed over your pulse point. Even then, the sound had been hoarse, torn and desperate as his hands had tightened on your waist and his cock had filled you again.

You cleared your throat in an attempt to both improve your voice and draw your own attention back from what you’d done the night before. “…And you’re still here.”

You regretted the words as soon as you said them, but a self-deprecating smirk touched Clint’s lips. “Yeah.”

Face still tucked against the pillow, you nodded towards the mug in his hand. “Is there any more of that?”

“Behind you.”

You rubbed at your eye, holding the sheet against your chest as you rolled over to find another mug sitting on the bedside table. Smiling, you pushed yourself up as you picked it up, leaning on your elbow as you turned back to him and took a grateful sip.

And immediately grimaced. “It’s cold.”

“Yep,” he replied simply, taking your cup and setting both his and yours on the table on his side of the bed. “But it was a nice gesture about half an hour ago.”

You breathed a quiet laugh through your nose, playing with the edge of the blanket as you lay back against the pillows again. Somehow, despite his attention being in his lap, the light of day had you feeling much more exposed than before. “So, uh… how long exactly have you been awake?”

Clint shrugged a shoulder noncommittedly. His hair was still mussed – from sleep and the way you’d carded your fingers through it – and you swallowed as you noticed the red lines marking his shoulders and arms. “A while.”

“Clint.” you said guardedly. “Did you get any sleep?”

“Hmm? Yeah.” he nodded distractedly. His tone sounded light but you could hear the way he forced it. His hand moved towards you for a moment as though he was about to touch yours reassuringly, but it returned to his lap. Clint’s voice dropped further, and the tired note in his tone had nothing to do with how much sleep he’d missed. “Yeah. ‘Course I did.”

You sighed heavily at his tone, sitting up and turning your back to him. “Right.”

“Y/N.”

“I’m not doing this again, Clint.” you said, shaking your head and turning your eyes to the ceiling. “I can’t do this again.”

“I…” Clint pushed himself up straighter against the headboard, his brow furrowed as he searched for a response.

You pressed your lips together, closing your eyes as you forced back the nerves climbing in your chest. Your tone turned gentle but firm. “I know what you’re going through, Barton. I know it’s something I… that I can’t even pretend to understand. And while I’m here for you, I really, truly am… I can’t do this.”

You picked up the first shirt within reach – his – and pulled it over your head before turning around to face him. The worn, thin cotton did next to nothing to build your confidence, but it was easier to get the words out while not completely naked. Still, you felt goosebumps rise on your exposed skin as you met his eye.

God, you’d left a hickey on the side of his neck.

“I can’t be doing… this—” you gestured to the mess of sheets between you. “—with someone when they’re not here with me.”

There was something unreadable in his eyes. “I am—”

“You’re not, though.” you said, resigned. “You’re really not.”

He stopped, swallowing as his eyes fell towards the mattress. When you’d turned to face him, you’d leaned on your hand, your fingers curled in the sheets a few inches from his own. Maybe you saw his hand move forward… maybe… but you stood, stepping back away from the bed before his hand could make contact with yours.

You met his eyes, teeth digging into your bottom lip. His shirt barely brushed against your thighs, a scare inch or so of thin fabric protecting your modesty. You really should have waited to have this conversation until after you’d put on pants. “Yeah, maybe you stayed this time, but… did you really want to?”

Clint’s gaze remained on his hand, and you sighed, rounding the bed towards the bathroom.

“I did.”

You stopped mid-step, folding your arms around your middle.

“I…” Clint exhaled. “I wanted to… I want…”

You heard him shift on the mattress, and you turned around as he swung his legs off the side of it. He ran a hand through his hair, fingers fisting in at the nape of his neck for a moment before his hand fell back to his lap.

“I felt… I feel guilty. Being with you.” he explained, his voice quiet. He waved a hand back towards the sheets. “Being with you like this. It’s like I’m… betraying Laura.”

“Clint…” you couldn’t bring yourself to say the rest of the sentence.

She’s gone.

“I know,” he said, swallowing thickly. You watched his adam’s apple bob in his throat. “I know she’s… but it’s not just that it feels like cheating, it’s…” he met your eye again, and you almost broke in your resolve. “When I’m with you… when I’m close to you, I… I don’t feel so bad.”

“And that’s…?”

“It’s wrong, Y/N.” he sighed, his gaze falling again. Like looking at you was… tempting? Painful? “And I can’t feel that way. I can’t forget them like that.”

You closed your eyes and exhaled slowly before moving towards him again. Kneeling in front of him, you forced him to meet your eye again You wanted to touch his cheek, but you felt your hand shake. Instead, you reached out to where his hands were clasped tightly together in his lap, covering them both with your palm.

“I understand, Clint.” you said softly. “I do. But I can’t keep doing this if all it is is a moment of weakness for you. I can’t be something you regret.”

“…Are you leaving?”

You shook your head, withdrawing your hand. “No. I’m not leaving. But I’m taking this – what we did, what we’ve been doing – off the table. I’m putting distance back between us. No more blurred lines – it’s confusing for both of us. If you can find a way for you to…” you stood, taking a step back. “Until you can let yourself feel whatever you’re feeling for me without… I’ll keep my distance, okay?”

There was a long moment between you as your words sunk in, but finally, Clint nodded.

“Okay.” you forced a small smile onto your face. “I’m going… I need a shower. Don’t disappear, okay?”

He nodded again, and you could feel his eyes on you as you finally retreated to the safety of the adjacent room.

As soon as the door was closed, you leaned back against it, closing your eyes. This was the right decision. It was. But a very loud part of you was screaming at you to turn around and tell him that you were taking it back.

The mirror hung on the wall opposite you, and your gaze lingered on the litany of evidence of your night together. The mussed hair, the light pattern of bruises on the side of your neck that continued down beneath his shirt. His shirt…

“Fuck…” you muttered to yourself, pulling it off and tossing it aside. Your eyes caught the mark he’d left on the swell of your left breast and you turned away, slamming the handle for hot water as far as it would go.

This was the right decision.

Right?

***

The tension in the apartment was heavy when you’d finally pulled yourself away from the shower’s scalding spray, but Clint had mercifully vacated your bedroom by the time you’d come back out. You’d tried to pull on the first clothes you could find, wincing as the burn on your back pulled against your skin. You should have asked Clint to re-dress it, but apparently, you’d used up all your confidence before you’d showered. So, instead you’d spent twenty minutes haphazardly taping a new patch of gauze over the burn with your back to the mirror and found a tank top that was cut low enough the back to not snag any of the tape you might not have reached to push down against your skin.

You’d tried to ignore the clothes still scattered across the carpet in your room, ignore the scent of sex still clinging to the mess of sheets. You stripped them from the mattress, tossing them into the corner and sat down, taking a shuddering breath.

Well… fuck.

You’d given him an ultimatum.

Just how quickly was it going to come around and bite you in the ass?

You’d left the apartment with the claim that you needed to pick up more supplies; Clint had nodded, his back to you as he poured himself a fresh cup of coffee. “Okay.”

That had been four hours ago, and all you had to show for your time gone was a paltry bag of medical supplies and a couple of sandwiches from a nearby gas station. Sighing heavily, you unlocked the door, the hooks of expectation digging deeper into your flesh as you were suddenly sure that you’d find him gone.

Again.

The apartment was much in the same state in which you’d left it, and you felt something in you release as you saw Clint’s gear still propped up near the kitchen counter. Your shoulders loosened, and you ran a hand through your hair. He was still here.

You barely made it a few more steps before a noise suddenly came from behind the wood of his bedroom door; the muffled sound of something shattering and a pained groan. The bag fell from your fingertips immediately, and you summoned a sphere of psychokinetic energy to burn against the palm of your hand.

“Clint?”

Your voice came too softly, and you cleared your throat as you approached his door, the energy in your hand swelling to the size of a baseball.

“Clint?”

“Y/N…” the response was quiet and strained, a low groan, and anxiety sunk its talons further between your ribs. Sparks danced down over your wrist, your other hand clutching the door handle and pushing it slowly open.

The room was dim, curtains drawn against what was left of the early evening light; your eyes adjusted quickly, and you released the energy with a sigh despite the worry still knitting your brow. Clint was in bed, sheets tangled around his legs and a lamp broken on the hardwood floor beside him, a casualty from the bedside table.

He whimpered, turning in his sleep, his brow furrowed and his hand fisting in the sheet. Frowning, you hurried to his side, reaching out to touch his shoulder as he rolled towards you.

“Clin—”

You broke off suddenly as Clint’s eyes snapped open, his hand grabbing your outstretched arm by the wrist in a painfully tight grip. His other hand moved so quickly you barely saw it, a knife clutched in his fist. You reacted in the same moment, a shield expanding in front of your chest just before the tip of the blade could meet your throat.

Clint blinked, the remnants of sleep slowly clearing from his eyes. The two of you stayed frozen in that tableau, the blue light of your shield casting shadows over the two of you as though you were suspended in water. The archer swallowed heavily, his grip on your wrist easing incrementally.

“Clint?” you repeated softly, twisting your wrist in his hand to touch gentle fingers to his arm. The sensation seemed to bring him back to the surface, drag himself out of where ever his mind had taken him, and you reduced the shield as the knife was lowered back to the mattress. “You with me?”

He nodded slowly, finally releasing your wrist. A dull ache thrummed through it, but you ignored it, kneeling beside the bed and reaching out to carefully ease the knife out of his hand. He let you, his fingers warm against your own before you set the blade on the bedside table.

“You were dreaming,” you explained softly, watching him run a hand through his hair, propping himself up on his other arm. “I didn’t… I didn’t know you were still having dreams like that.”

“Yeah…” he muttered; his voice rough. “It’s easier to keep them to myself when we’re not sharing a Winnebago.”

You frowned, hesitating a moment before reaching up to smooth your hand over his cheek. Clint’s eyes closed briefly at the touch. His hand moved upward, as though to cover yours, but it retreated, curling in the sheets.

“What can I do?”

Clint shook his head, pulling away from your touch. “’m fine.”

“I’m starting to think we should get that tattooed on our foreheads,” you muttered to yourself, noticing the corner of Clint’s lips twitch into a momentary smile. It was tiny, then it was gone. “How much sleep did you actually get last night, Clint?”

He cleared his throat, rubbing his hand over his bare chest. “I don’t know… a couple of hours, maybe.”

You frowned, studying his face, the shadows under his eyes.

“Move over.”

His expression unreadable, Clint did as you asked, pushing himself back on the mattress to make space for you. You straightened, toeing off your boots and shrugging off your jacket before lowering yourself onto the mattress beside him. The bedframe creaked softly under the new weight, and Clint watched you with a kind of careful curiosity as you tried to find a position to settle in.

You finally came to rest stretched out on your side beside him, your face pressed against the pillow. You tried to ignore the way the bed smelled of him. Clint didn’t need to ask what you intended, but he hesitated before moving to mirror your position. He watched your expression with those clever eyes for a long, weighted moment before he moved, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer. Warmth rose in your cheeks as he settled his head against your chest, his arm moving down to instead wind around your thighs, banding just below the curve of your backside. His fingers curled against the small of your back. You wrapped an arm around him, trying not to let your mind linger on the warmth of his skin beneath your hand.

“Doesn’t this… what we’re doing right now…” Clint began quietly, as though unwilling to continue the sentence. The warmth of his breath tickled against the base of your throat. “…Doesn’t this violate the whole ‘distance’ rule you put in this morning?”

Your other hand rose to run fingers through his hair carefully, fingertips grazing the nape of his neck. He sighed under your touch. “Will this help you?”

He nodded; his face still buried against your chest. “Yeah… Yeah, it will.”

You swallowed, forcing yourself to close your eyes and relax. “Then it’s okay.”

tags:@trekkingaroundasgard@lovely-dreamer19@wittyforachange@wefracturedmotivation@january-echoes@glossyloner@capitalnineteen@youclickedthislink@s0ftness@castieltrash1@drakelover78@queenoftheunderdark@lol-you-thought@akumune@xxboesefrauxx@enna-core@hearmyharmony@katsies@youralphawolf72@maenji@rhymesmenagerie@gwianasky@melaclintbartoncorner@loki-is-loved@whovianayesha@bradfordbantams@alice-the-nerd@fanofallthefics@ace-fandom-dumbass@kaelyn-lobrutto24@twsssmlmaa@earth-pig-fish@meeksmusic83@hallothankmas@justanothermagicalsara@janineb86@darsynia@rhymesmenagerie @thatwelshbi @lauraashley93@darkwhisperswolf

AN: I know I'm a heartless bitch, but I promise they're not done with each other yet.

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shanastoryteller · 1 year

Note

Hi happy halloween and dashain can i have something with the weasely twins thanks ❤️

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29

"I've gotten a dementor to agree to our arrangement," Draco says when he breaks into their common room at seven in the morning.

George pushes himself upright, noting vaguely that Draco has erected a noise barrier around his and Fred's bed so as to not awake any of their dormmates. He's still sort of judging them for not waking up to a Slytherin sneaking into their dorm. "Where did you even find one? I'm pretty sure they would have noticed you walking into Azkaban!"

Fred turns towards them, punching his pillow into shape before stuffing it back under his head. He hates mornings.

"Don't be ridiculous, George," he says before sitting at the edge of his bed. George does his best not to be a girl about it. "I didn't go to Azkaban, that would have been way to obvious."

"Well where else would you find a dementor?" Fred grumbles before his eyes widen as he comes to the most ridiculous, and therefore most likely, answer. "You went to the dementor island in Bermuda Triangle! In the middle of the night!"

Draco obviously didn't get his soul sucked out for trespassing. George shifts enough to press his knee against Draco's back because patting him down to see if his soul has been knocked loose would make him look insane.

"Well, they're light sensitive, so night is the best time to visit them," Draco answers, as if that's really the problem they have with what he's done. "Anyway, we need to get all the horcruxes before she can do it since getting his soul eaten seems like something that Voldemort will notice."

"She?" George asks weakly. "How did you even talk to - uh, her?"

"She knows sign language," Draco says, then frowns. "She's nice enough, but a bit weird for a dementor, if I'm honest."

"Sounds like a perfect match," Fred grumbles before yanking his blanket over his head, clearly deciding this insanity isn't something that can or should be handled before breakfast.

#prompt answers #prompts are closed #asks #dalellion #harry potter

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jhilsara · 2 months

Text

I Can See You

Pt. 1/ Pt. 2/ Pt. 3/ Pt. 4/ Pt. 5/pt. 6/Pt. 7/Pt. 8/Pt. 9/ Pt. 10/

Pt. 11/ Pt.12/Pt.13/Pt. 14/Pt.15/Pt.16/Pt.17/END

Mariana Jimenez-Watson or MJ works in a normal pub living life paycheck to paycheck. Nothing exciting happens to her except the occasional drunk getting thrown out. She's 24 working away and finds a wrench thrown into her very boring life. His name is Hobie and she thinks maybe, a little excitement isn't awful. In fact she might start to crave some change for once.

Small moments of Hobie meeting his world's MJ. AKA I made an MJ variant and I think she's neat.

Chapter 10

She’s sitting on her couch glaring at her phone like it's personally attacked her.

She’s trying to avoid calling him again, she’s frankly tired of it.

She’s biting at her nails, trying to do anything besides wait by her phone. The tv is on in the background but she’s not paying attention. The fear creeping in eats at her. Fear and anger. She sighs and reaches for her phone and swipes to her contacts. His name is right under the recent call log. Her thumb hovers over it, debating on calling Hobie again.

He has disappeared and it’s got her terrified.

He hasn’t shown at the pub in a few days. So, she decided to stop by his houseboat, which was empty. She’d say it doesn’t look like anything had been touched but she wouldn’t know. The place is chaotically organized and she isn't there enough to make a definitive statement on if it's been touched or not.

What really frightened her was that Spider-Man wasn’t out either. There had been a few incidents, petty crime stuff… but she knows Hobie, she knows when he patrols. He would have caught it.

She called him. Just to check in… that was three days ago.

Pacing her living room, her thumb still hovers over the call button, unsure if she should. She’s frustrated and tired. Her brow furrows as she stares down at her screen, her heart feeling tight.

She had spent the night before walking the streets and checking shitty little alleys. She was worried he might be dead in one, if she were to voice her fears. Just even thinking about it made her sick. She came up empty though. She doesn't know what's worse, finding him dead or not knowing if he's dead.

Her fear is replaced with anger as she stares down at her phone. If he wasn’t dead he better have an amazing excuse, because she was going to kill him.

She finally hits the call button, bouncing on her feet trying to diffuse the nervous tension in her body.

“I swear to god if this bloody bastard doesn’t pick up I’m going to ballistic…” she mutters to herself.

It sends her to voice mail.

“Absolute fucking prick.” She throws her phone down and walks off to her bedroom. “I can’t stay up another night wondering where he is!” She pulls at her hair and goes to lay on her bed.

Her weight falls onto the bed with a thud. She curls into herself, wrapping her arms tightly around herself, begging her brain to stop feeding her anxiety. She's been worrying herself sick for days. She doesn't remember the last real meal she ate, she hasn't felt this bad since her family dog ran off when she was ten. She cried and cried and cried for that dog. Hoping it would come back home, back to her. The dog never came back and all she got was scolded by her mother for still crying over the lost animal.

She squeezes her eyes shuts and prays to just fall asleep, anything was better than what was happening in her head.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

She groans at the consistent noise and tries to go back to sleep. She had finally passed out, but now this repetitive tapping was waking her up.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

She sits up and looks out her bedroom window, nothing. She flops back down and sighs shoving a pillow over her ears.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

She suddenly bolts up; the noise isn’t from her bedroom window. It’s her balcony.

“Absolutely not.” she groans to herself.

She throws the blankets off her and rushes into the living room. She sees the familiar silhouette on her balcony.

She glares at the door, her face twisting in anger. She reaches for the lamp to turn on. Once the light floods her room, she sees him on her balcony. Her face sours even more upon seeing him. He has a faltering smile on his face as he looks at her. Waiting.

“Give me on good reason to let you in here.” She demands crossing her arms as she shoots him a look that’s says more than her words could. Her eyes are clouded as she glares daggers at him.

“C’mon MJ. Let me in, cold out here.” He attempts, voice muffled through the glass.

Her brows raise in irritation, “Don’t care. You literally disappeared on me for a week. So, unless your explanation is life altering, I don’t want to see your face.” She says walking away from her balcony doors.

She’s glad he isn’t dead, but now it’s just unfiltered boiling rage coursing through her body towards him.

“Mariana please…I can explain, promise.” He says pressing his forehead on the door. He pleads with his big brown eyes, that always make her want to scream. He looks like a lost dog.

She huffs in frustration and defeat, “Fucking prick, disappears for a week and gives me those stupid puppy dog eyes and I just give in…” she mumbles chastising herself.

She flings the door open and steps back. She crosses her arms and looks at him, waiting.

He stumbles in behind her, surprised he actually made it this far. His eyes slowly look over her, taking in her appearance.

She’s in her pajamas, hair messy from sleep. She has dark circles under his eyes and he can see she’s been biting her nails. He notices how her hands dig into her own arms as they lay crossed over her chest. She’s guarding herself, protecting herself from him.

He realizes, as he looks her over, she’s been worried over him. Desperately so.

He sighs and shakes his head. He takes a deep breath before speaking, “Don’t have a good excuse for my disappearing act…”

She scoffs and turns away from him, “Course you don’t.” she whispers bitterly.

“Hey, listen,” He goes to touch her shoulder but she recoils from his touch. His hand lowers, shaking. He pulls back to himself.

“I was trying to avoid you okay?” he tells her honestly.

Her head whips up to look at him in almost confused betrayal. She doesn’t say anything, the silence acting as enough of an answer for him.

“Can’t do this,” He says running his hands over his face, “I don’t keep people around…” He starts. “Connecting with people isn’t my thing, I like being alone mostly… they don’t stick around like you.” He mutters looking at her.

“So, what? You, you just cut me off? Cause you’re afraid?” she accuses voice rising. “What about your band and those photos? Are they not your friends?” she adds in confusion.

“Yeah, they are,” He sighs, his shoulders dropping. “It’s different with you… no one’s stuck around the way you have and I ran.” He tells her. Owning up what he did. He looks at her trying to get what he needs to say out. It feels like his throats swollen, filled with unspoken words that are too big and too important to get out.

“You came to tell me you’re afraid of intimacy after disappearing for a week… I figured that out on my own, thanks.” She says unimpressed.

She scoffs at where this conversation is going, she’s in disbelief. She doesn't want to hear anymore, it hurts too much.

“Not why I’m here MJ.” He says shaking his head.

“Please enlighten me, because I’m lost!” She says looking up at him. Her eyes are glossy and her voice is cracking, “I don’t know what is going on with you and I’m mad at you Hobie. I don’t want to be but I am.” She tells him her hands turning to fists at her side as they tremble.

“M’not good at this…” He mutters, “Can I be honest?” he asks, voice ever so quiet.

“Yes, that’s all I’m asking.” She replies looking lost.

“I can’t lose you and that terrifies me alright? What happens if you’re with me and you die?” he asks voice shaking a little. “Can’t have that alright? You’re too important to me… Thought if I left it’d be easier on you.” He admits.

Her hearts racing, she knows what he means, but it doesn’t sit right in her stomach.

“You’re a real selfish dickhead you know that?” she says, her voice small as she looks up at him. “I don’t know what we’re doing Hobie, but I know I don’t want to lose you either.” She says exasperatedly.

She turns her head away from him looking down at her own feet, “I have messed up a lot of relationships okay…All I have is the people at the pub, my dad, and.. and you.” She says frustratedly.

Her arms come up and wrap around herself tightly. Trying to comfort herself the best she can.

“And to be honest… I prefer you to the lot at the pub.” She says with a dry, choked, laugh. She can feel her eyes really start to well up and she tries to stop herself. The last thing she wants to do is cry.

He reaches out hesitantly for her, she doesn’t recoil from his touch this time. He gently pulls her into a hug. She doesn’t return it, but she doesn’t push him away either.

He tucks her under his head, his chin resting on her.

“Fucked up…” He mumbles lowly, “How do I fix this?” he asks her softly.

“You can’t just disappear on me…” Her voice breaks, almost into a sob but she holds herself back. “I thought you were dead in some alley.” She murmurs into his chest wrapping her arms slowly around him. Holding him tightly, her hands clinging onto him.

He rubs soothing circles into her back, “Can’t get rid of me that easily, promise.” He chuckles softly.

She scoffs a bit, “Says the guy crawling in my window needing to be stitched up every other week.”

The air around them isn’t filled with the same tense energy as before. They’re easing back into themselves, their routine. She enjoys the comfort of his large hands on her back and how she fits into the crook of his neck.

He enjoys her warmth, how it feels when she holds onto him. He didn't realize how much he missed it until it was gone. Even if it was just for a few days.

He gives a genuine laugh at her words, it’s deep and shakes her body with him, “That was only a couple times, c’mon give me some credit here?” He says pressing a kiss into her hair.

“I don’t know what you did before me, can’t imagine you stitching yourself up.” She says gently.

He scoffs, “I’m a great nurse! Wrapped your ankle pretty well.” He says haughtily.

She snorts and looks up at him, “Uh-huh, and how many times have you patched yourself up since I started to?”

He makes a face and rolls his eyes at her, “What? Want me to go find another pretty girls’ balcony to patch me up instead? Ya sick of me, that it?” he teases her.

She laughs softly at that, “What like a tom cat? You a stray now?” She asks cocking her head to the side.

He makes a face of mild distaste, “Good to know I’m just a stray cat luv, gotta keep my ego in check.”

“What, you don’t like that? Do you want to be domesticated instead?” she teases with a grin.

“Okay you’re just takin’ the piss now.” He mutters in fake irritation.

She just giggles, but once that dies down they’re both staring into each other’s eyes. The silence almost too loud between them. He moves his hand to cup her face, his eyes taking in her every feature.

“Can’t lose you… it’s dangerous being around me.” He says seriously, brows furrowed.

She shakes her head, “It’s worth it to be with you.” She says softly.

He feels her chipping away at his heart, carving her little hole for herself to sit in.

He presses a kiss to her forehead and pulls her against him tightly, her hands returning the gesture. Holding onto him, digging her nails into him, like she’s afraid he’ll disappear again.

“I…” He opens his mouth to tell her something, but loses his voice. It cracks and makes him wish he could just tell her.

“It’s okay.” She says softly. “We don’t, we don’t need to do that right now.”

He sighs and pulls back to look at her, “I want to try whatever it is, that we’re doing.”

She nods her head in agreement, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “A different conversation, not tonight.” She holds his face in her hands.

Her eyes flicker down, her face burning for a moment, “Can you stay tonight… with me?” she asks a little embarrassed.

He grins and gives a soft chuckle, “Yeah I can. Not going anywhere.” He gently reminds her.

She grins at him and moves to grab his hand and pull him to her bedroom. “Good.”

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jimraisedmeup · 18 days

Text

TICK // 13.1 - i'm on fire

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Rating: mature (angst, language, sexual content, virginity taking)

Word Count: 3000

A/N: *this chapter will contain graphic depictions of consensual sexual acts.

**longest chapter yet - 3k words

also... FORESHADOWING... pay attention bbys..

what do you guys think about the pace of this story?

technically, this story started right before Will went missing back in '83. it will eventually catch up with season 4 (1986).

also dirty things kick up after this because well, teenage relationships don't evolve to smut overnight. mehehe...

i plan on some time jumps coming soon, while also focusing on main events in the relationship. there won't be a ton of interaction with certain characters (Mike, Eleven, etc.) until then, because, well, in the show, Robin doesn't come along until season 3 and Eddie in season 4.

but let us not forget the arrival of *Billy* in 1984.

is there anything in particular you guys look forward to reading between '84 and '86? i'm genuinely curious ;-)

☾

February 15, 1984 - junior year

Your breathing was heavy, jagged and painful. How long had you been running?

Your muscles ached. Your vision blurred for a moment - upon catching your reflection in the dirty mirror, you could clearly see blood splattered across your face.

The blood… all of the blood… blood that was spat in your face.

You knew what you had done and you knew what you had to do. Nothing would be the same.

Floating in and out of consciousness, you let go.

☾

Hey little girl, is your daddy home? Did he go and leave you all alone? Mhmm I got a bad desire Oh, oh, oh, I'm on fire

☾

You opened your eyes to darkness.

You shot up in the bed, panicking for a split second, before realizing where you were. Eddie Munson's bedroom.

After a few moments, your tired eyes adjusted to the shadowy surroundings. The bed itself was warm and soft, a woodsy smell enveloping you as you shifted. The fluorescent glow of streetlights emanated from a distance behind the curtained windows.

A neon-faced alarm clock on the dresser told you it was 2AM.

Memories flooded back of the night before. You still weren't sure of the consequences you'd face after spitting on Mr. Eulin. You knew that your father didn't care where you were, but you were sure that Robin would have noticed your absence.

Pangs of embarrassment ran across your heart as you remembered dumping all of your problems on Eddie. Especially after the many times you avoided him in the hallways - simply because you were a coward who didn't want to let anyone in.

He deserved better than that.

Looking around, you were shocked to see Eddie sleeping on the floor in a bundle of blankets. His breathing was even and barely audible.

You threw your own blankets off without a second thought. Perching on the edge of the bed and reaching your foot as far as it would go, you kicked the sleeping boy's shoulder.

He didn't stir. You huffed, and kicked him harder.

Probably harder than you meant to.

"What the fuck, Uncle Wayne! Let me sleep!" he mumbled into his pillow, swatting your foot away.

You scoffed, and whispered back to him, "Do I look like your uncle, dingus?"

Eddie looked up at you from his makeshift bed, rubbing his eyes. "Jesus Christ, I forgot you were here."

"Why are you on the floor?"

"Why did you kick me?"

"Because you're on the floor!" you said, exasperated.

Eddie's voice became slightly high pitched in irritation. "So?!"

"So," you paused. "You should be up here. With me."

He stared blankly at you. "I didn't know if you'd want me to. I didn't want you to just, like, wake up and have me in the bed with you."

Crossing your arms over your chest, you scooted yourself further into the bed, making room for him. "Just… stop fussing and get up here, will you?"

It didn't take his sleepy figure very long to emerge from the blankets on the floor. Your face heated up like an iron on a fire when you saw he wore only a t-shirt and boxer shorts. A distinct line of dark, curly hair trailed down past the said shorts. But instead of making some rude comment like you normally would, you stayed silent and watched him.

The minute Eddie was under the blankets, you could feel how warm he was, smelling the faint trace of his cologne.

You coughed. "Can I, um, use the restroom?"

"Hell no!” he joked. But he couldn't hold in his drowsy, deep chuckle. "I’m kidding. You know where the bathroom is."

You inched your way out, dropping your feet onto the cold floor at the foot of the bed. As you turned the handle of his bedroom door, Eddie called out.

"Hurry back, freak. I miss you already."

☾

Tell me now, baby, is he good to you? And can he do to you the things that I do? Oh no I can take you higher Oh, oh, oh, I'm on fire

☾

Staring into the bathroom mirror suddenly reminded you of the hazy dream you had just woken up from. Shivers ran down your spine. Touching your face, you saw no trace of blood splatter, but you could almost still feel it on your skin. The shocking feeling of the blood as it was coughed into your eyes.

"What the fuck," you breathed, slapping your own face slightly.

Shaking yourself out of it, you swiftly looked away from the mirror, premonitions aside. You made your way around the small bathroom, doing your business and washing your hands.

Stealthily, you used a little of the mouthwash that was on the counter and spit it into the running water. If Eddie was about to be that close to you in bed, you didn't want him to think your breath smelled.

You purposely avoided the mirror again as you shut off the light and re-entered Eddie's bedroom. Fiddling with the door handle, you locked it shut behind you.

"What time does your uncle get home?" you asked the half-asleep figure on the bed. He didn't answer right away, so you assumed he fell back to sleep.

His voice sounded surprisingly awake, though. "A little after six or so. Why?"

You awkwardly squirmed back into the bed, grateful for the warmth on your feet and legs. You settled yourself between Eddie and the wall.

"Just wondering."

Eddie looked over at you suspiciously, a smirk evident on his face even in the poorly lit room. "Do you plan on taking advantage of me, Miss Buckley? Is that why you wanted me in the bed? Such clandestine behavior for a girl like you."

His mischievous grin was contagious. Just like everything else about him.

Picking at your nails, you feigned innocence. "What kind of girl do you think I am, Mr. Munson?"

You chose your words carefully, almost recreating the conversation you had that long ago September day, right before he gave you the tattoo on your hip.

He took the bait, realizing what you were doing.

"Hmm… I dunno. Eldest Buckley daughter. French Club. Good grades," Eddie responded, then he gasped dramatically. "...but didn't I see her leave with that scary Munson boy in his van after detention? On Valentine's Day, of all days? How scandalous."

You were cracking up laughing at this point. Eddie continued, this time in a higher-pitched voice, reminiscent of a gossiping housewife from the '50's.

"Betty, I can't even imagine what her parents might think. I heard she has a tattoo now. I bet her and that Hellfire Cult boy went off to make whoopee in the woods somewhere. If she knew any better, she could just sit on her vibrating washing machine without needing no man!"

"You did not just say 'make whoopee'!"

You were almost doubled over in laughter, and so was Eddie, breaking out of the corny character voice.

"Indeed I did, missy. I think I deserve an Oscar for that performance."

You leaned closer to him. "I think you deserve a lot. Everything. All day, everyday."

Peering over at you in the bed, Eddie examined you in close proximity. You could tell that he was pondering over your words.

"Is that why you used mouthwash when you went to the bathroom?" he questioned seriously, traces of his previous silly behavior fading away.

You rolled onto your back, looking away with an unsteady chuckle.

"No idea what you're talking about." But really, you did, and he was dead on the money. His honest gaze gave you goosebumps suddenly.

"You know, it's kinda dark in here, but I can see your nipples through my Black Sabbath t-shirt."

You gasped, pulling the blankets up to your neck with another laugh. "Eddie!"

He laughed too, but it sounded a little nervous. A moment of thoughtful silence passed between them.

Eddie sat up and ran a hand through his hair, sighing. "Look, I'm going to kiss you in about ten seconds."

Your breath caught in your throat, but said nothing. If you were honest with yourself, you couldn't think of a single thing you wanted more.

"And if you don't want me to, then reject me now," he explained, looking over at you. "And I'll fuck off, I'll go back to the floor. No questions asked. But I think you locked that door for a reason."

The boy with the large brown eyes moved closer to you, almost hovering above you. His hand reached under your blanket.

"Can I touch you?" he asked, his voice rough, almost desperate.

You shifted, somehow managing to get closer to him. You grabbed his warm hand under the sheets and squeezed it.

"It's been more than ten seconds, Eddie."

He let out a small laugh. "Well, you know I've always been terrible with my timing."

So you kissed him first.

Leaning up, you eagerly pressed your lips to his, one hand on the back of his neck to kiss him harder. You began to guide his hand underneath the tattered shirt you wore.

He pulled his mouth away for a second. "Okay, am I dreaming, Buckley? Are you sure about this?"

You sighed, head dropping back onto the pillow. "I asked to stay the night. I locked the bedroom door. I'm in your bed. This is borderline premeditated murder."

"I just want to know that you want this as much as I do," he said simply, fiddling with the edge of your shirt, as if he was picking a lock.

You touched his face, his pale skin almost glowing in the darkness, his brown eyes were pools of onyx.

"I want you, Eddie."

Something snapped in him, like opening floodgates. He maneuvered himself above you, kissing you like his life depended on it.

You pushed the blankets aside. "C'mere."

No hesitation remaining, Eddie moved his body between your legs. He kissed down your neck and placed his grip on your waist underneath the shirt, his shirt, that you wore. The shivers on your spine turned into a scorching fire, a fever taking over like a werewolf afflicted by a full moon.

He lifted your shirt up. You raised your arms to assist him, but instead of completely removing it, Eddie stopped the shirt right at your eyes. Your arms were gently trapped above you and your vision was obscured.

The slightly chilly air of his bedroom wasn't lost on your exposed skin. You felt him pause, and you could almost feel his eyes rake over your now bared chest.

You gasped when you felt his mouth on you, between your breasts and then underneath them. Nervousness fluttered through you. You had never been this exposed to anyone before - something in you said it was a wicked act.

And then a voice in the back of your head whispered, you'll be nothing but wicked the rest of your life.

All of the times you had felt ashamed for touching yourself in the middle of the night, all of the times you heard it was a sin. The raging battle within yourself for wondering why something that felt so natural could be considered wrong.

You couldn't find a single thing wrong with these hands that dragged across your skin. The grip on your hip bones. The lips that grazed your neck, biting softly. The fingertips that lingered at the edge of your shorts.

How could it be wrong when it was done with nothing but trust and respect?

You were panting at this point, writhing underneath Eddie, who seemed to be thoroughly enjoying teasing you. He kept his own hips held away from you as his hands explored, teasing.

The exploration was subtle, though, somehow both caressing and rough. Eddie touched the spots of bare skin behind your armpits, inside of your knees, next to your belly button. He nibbled at the seam of your underwear.

And then he placed a heated, messy kiss to your lips, nuzzling your jaw with his head, like he was unsure for a moment.

His breath on your collarbone made you twitch. Using your free legs to your advantage, you enveloped them around him, dragging his hips roughly towards you. And then you realized what he was holding back; you could clearly feel the throbbing hardness between his legs through your shorts.

A thin sheen of sweat was creeping up on your neck, your own wetness beginning to come through the thin fabric of the shorts. Or was it Eddie? You didn't know, and frankly, didn't care.

You never felt more alive, more unabashedly human, in your entire life.

☾

Sometimes it's like someone took a knife, baby Edgy and dull and cut a six inch valley Through the middle of my skull

☾

Almost consumed in this state of euphoria, Eddie felt anxiety knocking on the door of his consciousness.

"Are you okay?" he whispered, his voice shaky and coarse.

He still nudged his head on your neck, in a pathetic attempt to keep his composure. The contact of his dick against the heat between your legs, with only a couple layers of way too thin fabric separating you, was almost too much to handle. His virginity was waiting in the wings.

You laid shamelessly before him. He had never seen anything more alluring.

Your skin was hot, hotter than the devil's house cat. Your legs seemed to have a mind of their own as you clumsily guided his hips to yours, like a magnet. Enough of seeing your hard nipples through every single shirt you wore - you bared them to him now as if they were an offering, his for the taking.

You let out a breathy laugh, light and airy. "Yes. Why? Do I not look okay?" You could easily pull the shirt off your eyes, off your restricted arms, but you remained in the same position he put you in.

"You… you're the most exquisite thing I've ever laid eyes on."

☾

At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet And a freight train running through the middle of my head Only you can cool my desire

☾

You considered your virginity for a moment - but just a moment. A very unoriginal three-hours-late Valentine's Day present, you bestowed it upon Eddie Munson.

Tenderly, Eddie removed the shirt from your eyes, your arms.

"I'll have to get you some handcuffs for Christmas, huh?" you joked. He didn’t have a reply.

The freedom of your hands led to more sinful acts. You took advantage of finally being able to touch him, yanking his shirt off in one quick motion. The soft smile on his face was irresistible as he tossed his shirt to the floor.

Pressing his bare chest to yours was comforting in a whole new sense - he consumed everything about you. Nervousness and inexperience took over; you were insecure about reaching a hand towards his manhood unprovoked.

Everything was uncoordinated and awkward. Eddie moved off the bed, stretching to grab something from a drawer in his dresser. You heard shuffling and then the foreign sound of music beginning to play from the stereo sitting atop the dresser.

"Springsteen? Really?" you remarked from your place on the bed, now completely naked underneath his quilted blankets.

Eddie scoffed. "It's the radio, thank you very much."

Unbeknownst to you, “I’m On Fire” was something that would grow to haunt the both of you for years. At the time, though, you were only grateful for the music to drown out any of your sounds.

Nerves electric like a live wire, you welcomed him back into the bed, beneath the blankets. He laid beside you for several seconds. You heard the sound of a foil wrapper tearing.

Finally gathering the courage to ask him the most dreaded question, you just needed to know.

"Have you done this before?" you whispered.

His answer was quick, shaky, and brutally honest. "No. But wish me luck, yeah?"

And those were the last words spoken between you that night. Relief washed over you, knowing that you were both equally nervous, equally embarrassed at this point.

Eddie returned to you, chest to chest, and he rested one forearm behind your head for support. You weren't sure when he removed his boxers, but you could feel that he was naked now, braced right at your entrance. The warmth of his most private areas against yours made you feel less vulnerable.

Which made you pull his face down to you, kissing his cheek. You kissed his jaw, his lips, his eyelids, running a hand through his brown hair. It tangled for a second. His hair was getting so long since you first met him.

…but you were impatient.

You opted to not say the harsh words out loud - let's get this over with - you knew well enough about human anatomy that this would most likely be uncomfortable the first time around.

So you reached between your two bodies and guided him into you. His hips reacted benevolently, pushing forward slowly. Fire erupted into you - quickly, invasive. He emitted a gasp into your shoulder, pausing suddenly, but then he began to move again with a steady pace.

The pain was harsh but finished sooner than you thought, along with Eddie himself.

Why? Does he want his virginity back?

You would never regret it, not even for a second.

☾

Oh, oh, oh, I'm on fire Oh, oh, oh, I'm on fire Oh, oh, oh, I'm on fire

☾

(song lyrics credit: "I'm On Fire" by Bruce Springsteen)

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#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie x fem!reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddiemunson #eddie munson x female reader #stranger things #eddie munson slow burn #eddie x you #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x buckley!reader

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jinx-420 · 1 year

Text

Good ol’ scary movie

Warnings- Ellie x fem reader, reader and Ellie smoke weed,some smut near the end, pet names (baby,princess, Angel) lmk if I forgot any :p

A/N - This is my first fanfic I have written in like 4 years 😭

Part two

It was a rainy Friday evening finishing up your schoolwork when your best friend, Ellie Williams texted you, A smile immediately lit your face as you read her text. “you feel like coming over to watch a movie and get high ?” You quickly replied

“What kind of question is that ofc I do when should I come over?”

“Already waiting for you :)”

“Omw 🏃‍♀️‼️”

You decided to get comfy considering you would be hanging with your favorite person, you put on a simple black tank top and your favorite pj pants along with converse. You also put on some casual makeup and applied some lotion and perfume. You grabbed your keys and phone and made your way over to Ellie’s.

———————————————————

As you knock on her door shuffling your feet you hear her hurried footsteps to the door and your met with her piercing green eyes “hi” you say sweetly “hi there” she says in a low but contempt voice, as you walk around her place you see her rolling tray already prepared for you both and she also got the couch all comfy with a comforter and many soft pillows and her favorite stuffed animal, beefy, you got for her last Christmas “ohmygod you made the couch so comfy elsssss I’m ganna fall asleep before we finish the movie” you said with a pout which warms Ellie’s heart as you always manage to do. she watches you curl into a ball on the couch,sinking into the cushions and wrapped in a tortilla blanket. “I’ll just have to entertain you enough so you don’t fall asleep” Ellie said with a slight smirk. You would be lying to yourself if you said that Ellie wasn’t the most beautiful person you have ever met but you have never flirted or tried anything with her to risk your friendship. “Guess what” she asked pulling you out of your thoughts “what?” As she sits on the couch next to you she pulls out a box from under the coffee table infront of you full of your favorite snacks. Your eyes widen and you look at her and the box of your snacks before you jump into her strong arms, which makes her lay back on the couch with you on top of her. you found yourself squealing with excitement as you repeatedly gave Ellie many thank you’s.

Ellie couldn’t ignore the fact that your braless tits were pressing against her own and how you were basically straddling her like a koala on the couch, she swears if she was a man she would be hard right now. As you lean back to thank Ellie one more time you see her flushed checks and her beautiful green eyes staring at you in a way that almost looked like she was drunk but you swore you saw a glimpse of lust in her eyes as her mouth was left agape. She licked her lips as you stared at her and you gave her one final thank you in a whisper as you got off her. As you reached down to get your favorite snack, unbeknownst to you Ellie stared at your thong sticking out of your loose pj pants with no shame. At this point she swears the universe is punishing her for giving her the hottest best friend on this planet, like seriously how is she not suppose to feel anything towards you ? You guys have known each other since childhood and since day one Ellie has loved you even if it was in a friendly way at first. As you both hit puberty and grew in more ways than one she started to grow deeper feelings for you. The day she knew she was in love with you however was a day she would never forget. You guys were both 15 at the time and were at a beach trip together as your parents both were friends too, you shared a room together and of course you two had the genius idea to sneak out onto the beach late at night, after the troubles of trying to stay quiet sneaking out of the window you both walked along the shore of the beach as waves crashed beautifully against each other. The moonlight shining on your features perfectly made her stop in her tracks and just admire you. She always knew you were beautiful but something about the romantic scenery that night just clicked something in her head that she didn’t just want to be your friend but she wanted to kiss you, she wanted to call you hers, she wanted to love you and show you how much you meant to her. When you noticed Ellie staring at you of course you giggled and asked her why she was staring. She got beet red and stuttered trying to explain that there was something on your face.

“Earth to elssssss” you said in a teasing tone watching her zone out. She looked back at you and noticed your suggestive looks towards the rolling tray “oh shit, I’ll roll right now I kinda zoned out” she said while scratching the back of her neck. you giggled at her nervousness finding it cute and decided to tease her a little while she was rolling. You sat closer to her so that your bodies were pressed together “well that much was obvious but I want to know what you were thinking aboutttttt” you said sweetly and giving her a smile which had an affect on her that you didn’t quite understand. She looked in your eyes and folded per usual, “was jus thinkin about our beach trip” she said avoiding your eye contact. “The one where you were staring at me the whole time?” You say with a little giggle. “Shut up” she says pushing you away slightly. She continues to roll the joint and like always you were staring at her fingers and something in her head told her “fuck it” and to try to try something with you.. it was worth a try right ? She could always read you and know when you were uncomfortable so she would stop if she saw even a hint of that look. As she went in to lick the paper of the joint to seal it, she held eye contact with you, a trick she learned from a movie once. She watched as your face got red and she couldn’t deny the fact that your thighs slightly pressed against each other to relieve any friction you could. Surely this had to be a dream right ? Her dream girl getting worked up over her tongue? She just had to see how far she could push you now so as she finished rolling the joint perfectly she placed it in your mouth while holding under your chin gently, “first hit for my princess always” she said slyly. she held eye contact with you as she lit the joint for you and you both held intense eye contact as you took a pretty big hit. You blew the smoke to the side still staring into her eyes. After a while of sharing drama and passing the joint til it was a roach, she put it out. “soooo what movie should we watch??” You asked as you shared the blanket with her and cuddling up to her side. “your choice, baby” it wasn’t unusual for Ellie to call you these petnames but you never got used to it as it always made you flushed. “Hmmmm I’m feeling like a good ol’ scary movie whatcha think?” She slightly chuckled and said with red droopy eyes “finding ways to get closer to me, huh?” Your face felt like it was on fire and your own high making these feelings 10x more heightened. “You wish” you said while chucking a pillow at her. Of course you always found Ellie insanely attractive but when she was high was a whole different story, you were beginning to think that this whole thing was a bad idea if you couldn’t control the warm feeling in your lower stomach. “the shining ?” Ellie asked noticing you zoning out a bit and you giggled a bit as you agreed and started to roam the tv in search for the movie. Once the movie was finally starting Ellie held your waist impossibly closer to her and you could have sworn you almost moaned just by her touch, yeah, you were down bad.

———————————————————

As the movie came to an end, you were embarrassed to admit that you were barely even paying attention to the classic movie but instead thinking about Ellie fucking you the whole time. Your pussy was throbbing so uncontrollably you had to excuse yourself twice for the uncomfortable wetness in your panties.

By the time the movie was over your highs wore off and you were eager to be high again so you could have a good nights rest. “elssssss” you said as sweetly and quietly as you could which made Ellie think an Angel was calling her name and of course in her eyes there was. She looked at your face which had a slight pout to it then her eyes drifted to your cleavage smushed together as you were leaning against her. “What’s up Angel ? Want to smoke before bed ?”

It always caught you off guard how much she could read you just by looking at you. “Mhmmm” you said and giggled slightly when she responded with a “coming right up”.

She started to roll another joint while you watched her slim fingers work their way around the paper. Ellie probably wouldn’t admit this but the reason she never had pre rolled joints for you was so that you could watch her fingers and maybe get the idea that she knew her way around some things.. Ellie’s favorite part of rolling was coming up and instead of her licking it she decided something new, she held the almost rolled joint infront of you and looked at you waiting for you to stick your tounge out, of course you did and same as always looked her in the eye as you swiped your tongue painfully slow against the thin and cherry flavored paper, Ellie had to change positions due to the painful ache growing on her swollen clit. And her mouth quite literally salivated as she saw a string of saliva connecting from your lip to the paper and without a second though Ellie brought her tongue to the string of spit back to the paper to give it a second lick on top of yours. If you weren’t wet before you were DRIPPING now. Ellie glanced at your red face as she sealed the joint and put it between your lips as she dug in her pockets for the lighter and to her surprise it wasn’t there. She looked around for a minute before she saw the outline of a lighter in your pants and took it upon herself to reach for it, her slim fingers wrapped around the lighter but also skimmed dangerously close to your core as your legs instinctively pressed together. She thought she was dreaming at this point and had to consider if she wanted to take things further with you. After deep thought while passing around the joint, the look in your eyes and the fact that everytime she looked at you your thighs pressing together just a bit confirmed her conclusion that you wanted her just as bad as she wanted you (which she didn’t think was possible) as you both looked high as a kite with red glossy eyes she takes a bigger hit than usual and as she holds it in her lungs there’s a small “cmere” and she pats her torso as she is lying down and you make your way intop of her with each leg beside her waist, she grabs you by the back of your head and pulls you so close your lips touch and she finally lets out the smoke she has been holding in as you inhale all of it without fail you hold the smoke in your own lungs for a second before blowing it to the side and to your surprise Ellie eagerly takes your face in her hands and moves her plump lips with yours. You let out a tiny whine which Ellie finds adorable but also the hottest thing she has ever heard. Her hands were holding your waist as she swiped her tongue across your bottom lip testing the waters and of course you eagerly widened your mouth welcoming her tongue with yours. Your pussy was aching so much at this point that you couldn’t help but start to grind on her abs which you could feel through her tank top. Not only did you moan from the friction but Ellie groaned because she could just barely feel your lips grinding on her through your pants. She lowered her hands from your waist to your ass and started to grind you harder against her, by now you were a moaning mess and was practically drooling by the euphoric feeling Ellie was granting you. You felt your peak coming on soon and just as you were getting closer there was a knock on the door. “Shit” Ellie said frustrated that someone had to ruin this moment. She slowly pulled you off her and got up with you following behind to see who was at her door at this time, she looked through the peephole and looked back at you,

“did you invite Abby ?”

#ellie williams #ellie x fem reader #ellie x you #ellie x y/n #the last of us #ellie williams smut #abby anderson #bbg #joel miller #fanfic #ellie fanfiction

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