#i think i need to point out that yes they are both men the fashion was just kinda like that at the time

[llitchilitchi]

'Forgive me father for I have sinned.'

#ert #art #original art #artists on tumblr #traditional art #watercolor #watercolor art #own characters #okay here goes oh dear #religion #catholicism #priest kink #yeah thats part of my blog now #I am maybe possibly gonna do more with them so uh #if you have names.... If You Have Names #I am listening #early renaissance italian noble with catholic guilt and his favourite priest what can go wrong #i think i need to point out that yes they are both men the fashion was just kinda like that at the time #there is like One person that Id like to see this

[swordcreature]

HCs for how the tiefling boys ask you to marry them?

anon this may be the first thing i have written this year that wasn't inherently smutty. so thank you for that because my default is horny heheh

but seriously thank you for the request these are so much fun

Dammon, Rolan, & Zevlor - Marriage Proposal

light implications of sexual acts (not sure if it warrants a tag but just to be safe) MDNI/18+

How the tiefling boys ask you to marry them.

Dammon: 

First off, Dammon totally makes your rings. He’s not a jeweler, so he doesn’t have the necessary tools to set stones or anything fancy like that. But he does make two beautiful golden bands with an inscription on the inner wall. Something sweet and sentimental written in infernal like “my heart forevermore” or “our love will last until the end of days” 

He isn’t the type to take this step unless he is 100% sure that it’s something you both want. He’ll straight up ask you if it’s something you want at some point, so when he finally does ask, you’re not blindsided. Just surprised because you didn’t know when it would happen. 

You expected it to happen during a date – every time you went on a picnic or had dinner at one of your favorite taverns you giddily waited for him to drop on a knee and ask you. But it kept on not happening. 

In truth, I could see Dammon initially planning something like that. An old-fashioned romantic date where he ends the night with flowers and ring in hand, proposing under the moonlight. 

But, despite himself and his planning, Dammon is just so anxious to ask you; he cannot wait to start the next step of your life together.  

It happens at home, actually.  

You’re both in bed, having just made love, laying on your sides to face each other. His arm is under your head as a pillow and your bodies are curled towards one another. It’s just such a tender moment as you two talk about nothing in particular, making each other laugh, sharing quick kisses.  

It’s both an unimportant moment, and the most important moment ever. Because he’s just so happy and in love with you, he feels completely at peace, so entirely safe and secure in the life you have built together thus far. It takes his breath away how much he wants this, forever. 

So of course he can’t be blamed for scrapping his whole elaborate proposal plan and asking you right then and there.  

He forgets to even pull out the rings. He just asks you, simply, calmly, as though he was asking what you wanted for breakfast. “Marry me.” It’s a statement more than a question.  

When you say yes (because I accept no HCs where you don’t decide to marry these absolutely wonderful men), he kisses you and holds you there until you can’t breath anymore. 

Before he completely forgets he ends up pulling the rings he made from his bedside table, showing you his work and slipping one of your finger. He worries it with his finger, twisting it back and forth against your finger with a satisfied smile on his face. 

He seems completely taken back by the look of his ring on your finger. He’s never looked so utterly content. 

Then he pulls you back to continue kissing every inch of you. Prepare to be thoroughly worshipped over and over again. 

You’re definitely not leaving that bed for the rest of the day as you celebrate your engagement.  

Rolan: 

It takes Rolan a long while before he is ready to make the jump to marriage. I think deep down you as his partner fear that maybe it’ll never happen. When you’ve brought it up in the past, it clearly made him apprehensive, so you resigned yourself to the idea that it may never happen. 

And you’re okay with that. You don’t need marriage to know you want to be with him forever.  

One day Rolan invites you out on the town with him, laying out a new set of clothes that he thinks you would look nice in. He asks you to meet him at a nicer tavern, or maybe even someplace in the upper city.  

At first you think he’s just planned a really nice, elegant date night for fun. But he’s acting strange. Nervous. His tail swishes back and forth, low to the ground and his eyes land everywhere but your face.  

It doesn’t let up after dinner either. He takes your hand and takes you for a stroll through Bloomridge Park by moonlight. You walk slowly almost like he doesn’t want to go back to the tower yet.  

If you try to ask him what’s wrong, he gets a little short with you, his nerves getting the better of him. He’ll apologize right away of course but he’s just so caught up in whatever it is that he’s been thinking about that he immediately goes quiet.  

You’re almost back at the park’s entrance when Rolan just stops.  

His back is straight, and he looks like he’s just seen a ghost. Can a tiefling’s face go white with fear? Because his definitely does.  

You try to comfort him, putting a hand on his shoulder or lightly cupping his face. And it’s like all his discomfort melts away in an instant – you ground him so much and that’s why he’s about to do what he’s about to do. 

He pulls you close to him, holding both your hands, earnestly staring at you like you’re about to run from him.  

He has a whole speech planned, and he begins, tripping over words that he clearly tried to rehearse beforehand. 

After a moment he just decides to adlib, ditching whatever script he was fumbling with.  

And he finally asks the question. It’s a hurried jumble of words – “willyoumarryme?” Color you surprised, at the very least. 

He doesn’t even wait for you to answer before he’s rushing over more words about how of course you don’t need to say yes, he would understand if you wanted to keep things how they are, maybe he should have kneeled while asking, would you have preferred being asked in private – but you stop him with a forceful kiss. Just shut that boy up before he flushes even redder.  

When you pull away, you whisper a tiny, confident yes and it’s like Rolan is seeing the sun for the first time ever. He lets out the biggest sigh of relief you’ve ever heard. Then he’s picking you up and swinging you around, kissing your face.  

He sets you back on the ground and tries to steel himself, pretending that his public display of vulnerability didn’t just happen. But you can see his mask slip as he grabs your hand again and drags you back to the tower like an eager teenager.  

He tries not to draw attention to the fact that he totally forgot to bring the ring with him. 

Zevlor: 

Oh my sweet Zevlor. It takes him a while to get to the point of marriage too, just because he wants to go through the motions of a proper relationship with you. He wants to give you the courtesy of having him in every way partners should before thinking about making their union official.  

So, by the time he’s planning on popping the question, you two are basically living like a married couple already.  

One big plus side to this though is that Zevlor is more confident than ever – about your relationship and himself. Towards the beginning of your relationship, he would have never been able to convince himself that he was worthy enough for something so divine.  

Now, though, he knows this is where you both are headed, where you are meant to be. So his nerves are more from excitement than trepidation.  

He plans a lovely dinner for you at home. Zevlor is an amazing cook and takes careful consideration in choosing a meal for this very special occasion. He’ll buy fresh ingredients from the market to make your favorite dish, and he even gets a somewhat expensive wine to pair with everything.  

When you get home the house is darkened, with only the small dining area filled with the low lights of candles. He lets you settle in, getting changed from your street clothes to something more appropriate for the evening, and is there waiting to pull out your chair when you’re ready. 

The topic of marriage has come up before, so there is a small, sneaking suspicion growing inside you of what this night may have in store.  

You have dinner talking, relaxing, enjoying the calm you feel in each other’s company.  

He would need at least a couple glasses of wine to work through his giddiness, so your food is long gone by the time he walks around the table and drops to his knees before you. He holds your hand against his heart so you can feel it's fast rhythm as he speaks. 

Unlike Rolan, Zevlor’s words aren’t rehearsed. He just speaks from the heart – what comes out is naturally elegant. 

I see him as the kind of guy to wax poetic about your love, making sure you know, without a doubt, that you are his entire world.  

At the end of his speech, he pulls out a small box with a silver ring in it, a red jewel in the center of the band. He wanted something simple and elegant to match how he sees you and your love. 

He’ll ask you formally, puffing out his chest a bit, breaking out your full name to propose. 

When you say yes, he slips the ring on, kissing your knuckles. You share a tender kiss, and you notice he has the beginnings of tears in his eyes.  

He’ll pull you to your feet and most likely spend some time swaying to the tune of music only you two can hear.  

Then he offers dessert. If you agree, he pulls you upstairs to indulge in the only sweet thing he wants in that moment.  

#bg3 #bg3 smut #bg3 dammon #bg3 zevlor #bg3 rolan #dammon #zevlor #rolan #my writing #anon #dammon x reader #rolan x reader #zevlor x reader #requests/suggestions

[colourstreakgryffin]

hi! Please ignore this request if you don't want to do it/your request are closed.

Do you think you could do a part 2 to hells angel? Or at least like more bonding moments between the two Im in love with father alastor sm 😭🙏

It’s not closed! It’s open, wide open and yes, I’ll happily write more for Papa Alastor! I’ll happily continue the little saga of Papa Alastor and his little fawn! Kinda short but I hope that’s okay!

Alastor- Shopping Trip

“Is this one something you’d like, Princess?” Alastor asks gently, his voice both menacing because of the radio effect and soothing because of the genuine love pouring out uncontrollably, as he draws down an adorable puffy old-fashioned but colourful little dress, long sharp fingers snapped on the small silky shoulder straps slightly. A outfit just the right size for a young girl

Specifically, his little girl. Leitora, a unique deer-featured soul born from pure powerful demonic magic. The one now forming his own soul and heart, he is so glad birthing the little devil darling was successful

His precious baby daughter, a seven year old with matching little deer ears and crimson red gradient in her pretty long hair. She has been waiting a long time to be able to spend time with her father and now, Alastor has taken the whole day off from duties at the Hazbin Hotel, to spend it exploring a wild wondering sinner-filled shopping institution with his babygirl

“Yes, Père! I love it!” You immediately pipe out soft yet eccentric back, excited and hopping right in front of the Radio Demon as he quickly hooks this little clothing present onto the size-appropriate hanger it was originally left on and hands it to you without another word. He currently has a few more shopping bags over his left forearm and an another much bigger shopping bag over his right shoulder as well as your needed travel supplies in a cute old fashioned pastel schoolbag over both of his shoulders

Your father doesn’t mind carrying everything nor does he mind overspending. After all

This is a father-daughter all-day shopping trip

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. A pretty clothing store, full of women’s to men’s to children’s fashion. The fifth store you’ve gone in with Alastor since the pair of you woke up early in the morning and headed over to the biggest mall in the Pride Ring, the mall both of you stand in at this very moment. He has been needing to get you some new clothing for a while now so being able to get your opinion on the cute dresses, tights, accessorises, pyjamas and much more he picks out for you is simply perfect

Alastor has truly missed being able to spend time with you, even if it includes milking his credit card. You’re worth far more than all the wealth he’s stolen and gathered

Taking your hand with a lean down, Alastor waits patiently for you to take his offer as you quickly readjust the clothing store hanger holding up your cute little present. Moving that hanger from both hands to your wrist, you reach up and immediately grab his much bigger hand. Two to three fingers are enough to hold your whole hand, the size difference is simply precious

“Père! Père! Look! Look!” Speaking with a adorable little French accent upon pointing out and chiming excitedly in fluent French, Alastor’s crimson red eyes sharply fling away from the cute rows of female children’s clothing to the single rack of children’s hair accessorises to jewellery. The reason you pointed it out, only seconds after taking your beloved father’s hand was because you noticed something really pretty you wanted your father to see

“What is it, Princess?” Alastor lets you drag him over to the colourful rack, his own eyes wondering around with tall fluffy deer-like ears flicking a bit as if an instinctive twitch. You still have the dress your father handed to you and you reach up as a sign for Alastor to help you. Following your little cute pale fingers, the Overlord picks out a set retro pearl tassel hairpins. Something he never thought you’d like but it may fit with your red hair

He isn’t sure if he wants the metal touching your skull however, so he holds the white cardboard support holding the hairpins still, just scanning over them a bit firmly and if not protective over you

Until your voice breaks him out of his intense thought. His ears shooting up in shock as your own ears draw back slightly, not necessarily concerned but wondering why just a pair of cute accessorises would possibly make him fall so deep into a thinking trance

“Père… What’s wrong?” You’re now the one asking your father to speak to you with big sparkly eyes looking up at him, he takes a few seconds of his head shaking in slight disorientation before he finally gets back to his senses and speaks out his opinion, uncertain but yet uncertain if he wants to reject you

Alastor is not good at saying no to you, he’s good at giving out needed discipline and can be rather strict about specific things but when it comes to mundane things like a pair of mere hairpins, he doesn’t like to say no

What can be said? Alastor is the type of father to spoil his daughter absolutely rotten

“Princess… are you sure you want this one specifically?”

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel radio demon #hazbin hotel imagines #hazbin hotel characters #vivziepop hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #platonic alastor #platonic alastor x reader #father alastor #alastor x reader #alastor #father alastor x reader #radio demon x reader #radio demon #hazbin hotel short story #hazbin short story #father-daughter moments #Al’s a decent daddy #father short story #parent au

[shini--chan]

Personal pet peeve of mine: Reading a yandere story with a historical setting with the yandere reducing the target of their obsession to just sitting around all day when they are not being subjected to "affections" and it being written that way for "historical accuracy".

I mean, yeah, there were gender roles in the past, but those gender roles didn't feature women being completely reduced to fleshlights with no other purpose. That was a job and it was called prostitute or concubine, and many women didn't do it willingly. Even high society women had a lot of tasks.

Being into historical re-enactment really showed me that it didn't matter if you were a man or a woman, or even just a child; you really didn't have much time to be idle. Asides, idlness was/is frowned upon in many religions and cultures.

C'mon, even the thing with societal norms is that a great part of society didn't adhere to them 'cause it just wasn't feasible. The attitude went along the lines of: "Nice morals you got there. We're just gonna throw a few out 'cause else we're not gonna survive. Mary, go get ye scythe now, the wheat's not gonna reap itself." And high society geneally didn't really practise what it preached because it was commonly too interested in debauchery.

People didn't get married for shits and giggles either. The single lifestyle only really worked when you either inheired a lot/had relatives paying for you or that you were living under your employers roof and all your worldy possessions fitted in one bag. Or you just lived with your family until you kicked the bucket. I mean, the armour and weapons a knight had were often provided by their liege lord and a priest's housing belonged to the Church.

Also, the trope of arranged marriages is a bit overused at this point. How about more stories about both parties hating each other's guts, or the woman loving the idea of marrying her intended but the man wanting to run for the hills? The woman baby-trapping the man perhaps? Because all of that existed to!

Don't get me started on fashion. Corset =/= patriarchy. You don't see the women in Jane Austen or Mary Shelley novels complaining about corsets and burning them, so let it rest. Really, that trope of corsets being a torture device comes from men making fun of woman's fashion and actresses with illfitting periode costumes. Corsets were more comfortable than stays and only really went out of fashion due to women needing more flexability due to bicycles. Ya really think ladies removed ribs, in a period where there weren't antibiotics and doctors went from cutting up corpses to treating patients without washing their hands inbetween? Common sense, where are you?

Asides, the clothing having to be chaste and covering certain parts applied to everybody. Breeches went out of fashion because people thought women would become arroused by men's exposed calves. Such standards didn't only apply to the Victorians, mind you.

I'll stop here, else this will be ten pages long. You also get the gist of it. Over and out.

#shini rants

[dejwrites]

❪ ♡ ❫ ─── ( synopsis ) ugly duckling zeke yeager return to campus looking better than ever and he’s back dealing with his biggest academic rival that want what he has.

♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ — reader discretion is advised: female reader, female anatomy described, her/she pronouns, written with black reader in mind, college au, teacher assistant!zeke, grad student!reader, mean girl!reader, profanity, cumeating, mentions of alcohol drinking, academic rivals trope, zeke and his freakin’ daddy issues, hand job, spit usage, slight exhibitionism, they kinda do it at a party but it’s after the party, corruption kink (on both ends), tbh reader and zeke should just be happy and make out already, if i am 1 out of maybe 30 zeke simps i am okay with that, mentions of other aot characters, is this kinda self indulgent? yes, the marley men just have some flavor to them to me, entry for @poohbea 'once upon a collab' event, art credit

ANOTHER YEAR OF GRAD SCHOOL MEANT ANOTHER YEAR BEING AT THE TOP OF YOUR DEPARTMENT. You were in competition with yourself in academics, fashion, popularity, social status—you name it. You went from student body president during undergrad to the grad student that everyone could lean on when they needed something. That was until he returned to campus. The eldest son of infamous doctor Grisha Yeager—Zeke Yeager. He not only knocked you to number two in your department, but he also snatched your teacher assistant position right from you. Eventually, taking away that excellent bullet point on your resume. 

You felt frustrated that the opportunity even got snatched from your hands in the first place. Of course, the guy with the infamous doctor would get the position before you. You had to figure out how you could get back on top. You could torment him as you did during undergrad. No, that wouldn’t work. The way he was looking now—he wouldn’t fall for your tactic of inviting him out to drink and causing him to miss an exam. Maybe, cause a scandal within his family. His family does always seem to stay in the tabloids. No, that wouldn’t work. Their PR agent would have that buried before you could convince your professor to give you the teacher assistant position. 

“Are you going to this party tonight? Please don’t tell me you’re spending your Friday at home again,” Your friend asked as she tapped her manicured fingers on your kitchen top. “Everyone is going to be at this party, you know?” 

“Why would I want to be around drunk strangers? How does that benefit me at all?” You asked while letting your finger trace alongside the rim of your wine glass.

Your friend was here to convince you to come to this party just by her attire. You were sure she would be zooming to this party immediately after her poor attempt to get you to come out. You always told her not to let you rain on her parade. Go out and have fun; just be safe.

“What if I told you Eren Yeager is hosting it, and it’s at his family’s lovely home?” Your friend leaned over, smiling at you.

“I’m not interested in Eren Yeager. Do I look like one of those sophomores that easily let his man bun distract them on how much of a manwhore he is,” You sipped from your glass before you heard your friend drag out a sigh.

“If one brother is going to be there, obviously the other will be.” Your friend rolls her eyes at your obviously, not-smart thinking. “Perfect opportunity to talk to him to let you have the teacher assistant position. After all, it’s not like he will need it anyway. I’m sure daddy has a job lined up for both of his sons.” 

“I highly doubt he’ll be there. Doesn’t even seem like his scene,” You added. 

“You think he trusts his younger brother to throw a party in one of their family properties alone?”

You thought about it for a second. Hypothetically, this could be a perfect opportunity to convince him to step down from the position. Give him a couple of cups of alcohol and get to batting your eyelashes—this could work. 

“Fine, let me change into something else,” You finished your glass of wine before your friend could let out a squeal of excitement. 

You went into your room to freshen up and get changed. When you stepped out, your friend had some devious grin as her eyes flickered up and down to look at your outfit. “Let’s hope the outfit works in your favor.” She says as she places the wine glasses you guys used in the sink.

“Hope so.” The dress you wore wasn’t too fancy, but it was something that could have anyone doing a double look. You glanced in the full-body mirror in your living room—slowly leaning forward to apply a coat of clear lip gloss. 

The ride to the party was filled with rules; you and your friend always went over. If you were leaving with a guy, let the other know. If you hit your alcohol limit—it’s time to go. Don’t leave without the other without confirmation that you were; that was common sense. As you dawned closer to one of the biggest houses in the gated community, it seemed you could hear the music as you got closer and closer. When you entered the party, it was crowded, from people dancing in the living room to people littering the steps sitting, and talking. Your friend had seen one of her usual semester flings and instantly shot right towards them after letting you know that if you were ready to go—just find her. 

Now you were alone in a sea of people hoping you could clichely bump into the older Yeager sibling. You pushed your way through to find him yourself. Hoping he wasn’t indulging in flirting with someone 

You tried your hardest to avoid anybody that knew you. Each of them gets in the way of why you were here in the first place. You spent the past thirty minutes pretending to be interested in conversations until you eventually entered the kitchen to see the person you were searching for. There he stood up, scrunching up his face at the taste of the mixed drink his younger brother had made. 

“It’s not that bad,” Eren said as he sipped from the red solo cup.

“It’s horrible, but when does alcohol ever taste good?” Zeke questioned as he placed his empty solo cup on the counter.

“Exactly! Everyone is going to love this Yeager juice,” His brother responded before he poured more of the drink into two cups and made his way out of the kitchen. 

Zeke was all alone, sipping alcohol in the kitchen and chatting with his friends. You didn’t even know you caught yourself staring at him and how his biceps flexed in the tight black shirt he wore. Did he get hotter from the last time you saw him? His little internship in France surely must have done wonders for him. Wait, you weren’t here to drool over his attractiveness—focus. 

As you inched further to get something to drink, Zeke's eyes landed on you, and you watched his lips curve into a smirk before he met you near the counter you were near. You were glancing at all the alcohol choices they offered, pretending that you weren’t here for something else. 

“It’s funny that this will be where we bump into each other again.” Zeke interrupted your pretend task of searching for alcohol of your choosing. 

“Couldn’t turn down a Yeager party,” You shrug your shoulders while collecting a bottle and pouring some into the cup. “It was the talk of the campus. Everyone is here.”

“Would have thought you’ll ditch to do some project or something.” Zeke leaned against the counter that was next to you. His head tilts like an innocent puppy attempting to challenge its owner.

“You know me, any project or paper I must do is most likely done already. Come on; we didn’t play hot potato for the top of the class spot for nothing.” You sipped from your cup, peeking up at him. 

“Still the same overachiever, I see.” Zeke poured him some of the drink Eren had made. “Same girl that tormented me.”

“That’s what I’m here for. To apologize; we’ve matured now. I’ve matured now.” You placed your hand on your heart and gave him a sweet smile before that smile disappeared after hearing his snickers. 

“You’re funny; what do you want?” Zeke took another sip of his drink and poured more into his cup once more now that it was empty. 

Your lips gasp upon pretending to be offended. “I can’t just see how you been?” 

“When did you ever care?” Zeke backfired. “Before, during, or after you were the biggest manipulator during undergrad? 

“Okay, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being a horrible person to you, Zeke.” You gave him a pout. “So please let me have that T.A. position you have.” 

The sound of his laughter caused your eye to twitch in annoyance. His eyes form tears as he hunches over to laugh. “You’re hilarious. I knew you wanted something, and the answer is no. For once, you couldn’t beat me or use some conniving way to beat me. Enjoy the rest of the party, Y/N.” He clinks his red solo cup with yours and talks to his friend Pieck who is searching the fridge for something. 

You inhaled sharply and exhaled slowly. Your nails dig into the palm of your hand before you turn to fill your cup up. You had to think of another way, but you needed to drink for now. You ventured around the property two times, searching for your friend. You had no luck but found yourself in the living room talking to your friend Reiner. You remember being lab partners with him; he was such a sweetheart. He didn’t know how to do the labs, but he was charming. You felt someone staring at you as you laughed at one of his jokes, you felt someone staring at you. To your shock, Zeke's eyes were staring at you as some random girl was talking his head off. You turned around after playfully rolling your eyes at him. 

Hours went by, and people headed home to sleep off the alcohol they consumed or head to the next party. Your friend had gone home with their semester fling after confirming with you that it was okay. You decided to stay back to continue to pester Zeke. He hasn't budged at all with giving you the teacher assistant position—and you weren’t giving up that easily. As you help, throw away the red solo cups that decorated the expensive marble counters. Zeke was collecting the empty alcohol bottles to toss in the recycle bin. The two of you silently cleaned up the kitchen as you could hear Eren and his friends drunkenly messing around in the living room. Zeke knew they weren’t doing any type of cleaning as they told him they were doing.

“You know…” Zeke broke the silence between the two of you. 

“You’re going to let me have the T.A. position?” You interjected as you tossed another cup in the trash. 

“No, but I find your eagerness—quite attractive,” He chuckles, dropping a whiskey bottle in the bin. He walks closely towards you, and you meet him halfway, dragging the black trash back with you. 

Just as you met in the middle of the kitchen where the counter was, he stared at you with his gray-colored eyes trying to read you. He wasn’t sure if you had changed or not since undergrad. “It’s quite comical that you even parted your lips to ask me after the hell you put me through during undergrad.” He grabs the empty red solo cup off the counter and grabs the black trash bag you had.

Being sure to let his fingertips brush against your hand as he takes the bag. He threw the cup in the trash before speaking again, “You were a horrible person. Kinda need you to beg a little more,” he reached by you to grab another liquor bottle.

“I apologized so many times. I don’t understand why you need the position so much.” You snatch the alcohol bottle out of his hand and place it on the counter. His need to ensure the kitchen was clean before his parents returned to their luxury trip distracted you from your goal. “Your daddy will help you find the perfect job when you graduate.” 

You watched as Zeke’s jaw clenched in annoyance, hearing your words. Your eyebrows scrunch together in confusion before your lips curve into a smirk. This was your opening. “Oh, that struck a nerve, huh?” Your head tilts as you watch those eyes darken.

You’ve seen that look countless times during undergrad, especially when you caused him to miss a final exam which helped you to have the highest GPA in your department. 

“That’s not true. I work very hard for the positions I have.” He glanced at you, and  now it was him with a devious smirk on his face. “Just like the T.A. position that you want.” 

“You leave for an internship in France for the summer and come back with some balls; that’s what’s fuckin’ comical, actually.” You suck your teeth before stepping back and hopping on the counter. 

You were growing frustrated with not getting what you wanted after years of getting what you wanted—which you didn’t have an infamous surname and an academic medical school building named after your father to do so. It was a bit insulting to you that he was dangling this position in front of you. 

“Don’t tell me you’re giving up already. It’s only one in the morning. You’ve tormented me longer than this.” Zeke went back to cleaning up. “I’m starting to think you may just want to be in my company or something. I must advise you; others wouldn’t mind being in my company and not being a pain in my ass.” He tossed a bag of opened chips in the trash.

“And yet, you’ve declined them all night just to let me pester you.” You muttered under your breath.

“And yet you spent this whole night pestering me, ignoring all the advances thrown at you. You really think Reiner cares about your fuckin’ marketing project?” Zeke backfired as he leaned against the counter opposite where you were sitting. He rubs at the thick blonde beard on his face in a mockingly thinking manner. “Starting to think you may like me.” 

“I would rather gouge my eyeballs out and take the least-rated Professor in our university than ever admit any attraction to you, Zeke Yeager.” You shrugged your shoulders at him, but you also noticed that he had stepped closer once again, not being afraid to invade your space.

You just were trying to figure out if you thought this was a good idea. The sexual tension was there. It was obviously there—you two wouldn’t be going back and forth like an intense tennis game if it wasn’t. You grabbed Zeke’s belt, tugging him closer to fill the gap between your thighs. 

“You’re still that ugly duckling in undergrad that I enjoyed sabotaging to be on top.” You attempted to push him, but his hand caught yours before eventually letting his lips crash upon yours. 

The taste of hard whiskey and Eren’s horrible mixed Yeager juice lingers on your tongue as you’re eagerly tracing it to get a taste of all the liquor Zeke consumed during the night. The scent of a freshly opened pack of cigarettes and a woodsy-scented cologne crawls up your nostrils to cause you to be even more intoxicated. Your grasp on his shirt as if he was going to blow up was a bit funny, considering you were insulting him all night. You wanted more; you needed more. The kiss broke apart, and you tried to utter another degrading thing. The short break from tasting each other allowed Zeke to remove his glasses and place them next to you on the counter—before his lips were back on yours. Shoving his tongue down your throat in a heated makeout session because he would rather have that than hear your nagging about him being undeserving of a position he has already. 

Your hand untangled from the cotton threads of his shirt to travel down to his pants to rub his hardened cock. The bulge was so noticeable you would have thought he was a virgin that just discovered an exclusive OnlyFans account. Zeke breaks the kiss again, his plush lips pecking soft subtle kisses on yours as if he didn’t want the kiss to end. Now those gray hues of his were softened—they didn’t look at you as if he hated your guts. But for pure hunger for you. 

“Want to go upstairs?” Zeke asked; he didn’t budge from towering over you as you were on the counter. He could hear the loud laughter of his younger brother and his friends playing another round of Never Have I Ever. 

You rubbed your lips together before shaking your head. “What’s the fun in that?” You questioned as your hands fiddled to undo his belt. “It’s a bit more exciting when you’re about to get caught by your brother, isn’t it?”

You never saw Zeke’s face turn red so quickly. His cheeks are stained a crimson color as you’re unbuttoning his pants. He watches as you bring your hand up to your mouth to spit it and soon dig into his boxers to massage the tip of his cock. You didn’t want to fully bring his cock out just in case someone walked in, so you brought him closer using the heel of your foot, and your hand slowly guided up and down his shaft. His head fell back in complete bliss as he was poorly attempting not to utter a moan. 

“If you think this is going to….” His body shutters when he feels the pad of your thumb brush against his plump mushroom-shaped tip. “—going to get me to step down from the teacher assistant position, you’re highly mistaken.” He finishes.

You leaned up to place a kiss on the corner of his lips. “At this point, is it really about the damn T.A. position?” You questioned as you continued to palm his cock. This time your hand is pushing his pants down just a bit to give yourself some more room. 

If anyone was to walk in, they could assume that the two of you were just making out—but really, Zeke was desperately thrusting forward for more friction as your hand squeezed around his cock. Broken groans trembled out of Zeke as he prompted his hand on the cabinet just a few inches from your head to hold himself up. “Shit, I’m going to cum.” He utters as your hand slides up and down his cock.  

“I’m going to stop that from happening,” Your teeth bite your lower lip as your hand palms at his thick cock. 

“Mhmm, okay.” Zeke leans in to kiss you again, but you’re quick to lean back teasingly. Continuing the urge to make sure he cums and becomes a bowl of putty right in front of you. 

You’ve adored seeing Zeke get tugged from the temporary bliss of passion. You could sense the heat from his skin and all the color rush to his face. Thick ropes of cum came out so quickly before you could spit out some witty comment. Your hand motions slowed to ensure that he experienced every emotion that came from the fact that you had him in the palm of your hand. Zeke’s chest heaved upward as he tried to regain his composure. His eyes watched as you removed your hands from his box just in time to hear footsteps behind Zeke. Eren walked into the kitchen to grab something from the fridge. 

“I didn’t know anyone else was here,” Eren said as he opened the bottle of water in his hand. His eyes were shot red from the weed he smoked, and he went through the many stages of cottonmouth.

The droplet of Zeke’s cum imprinted your fingertips, and you brought your fingers to your mouth to lick up the mess he made in your hand. He let out a shaky sigh before quickly fixing his bottoms to answer his brother. 

“She was just leaving,” He sighed.

 Eren’s thick brows raised at the sight he was seeing before he let out a laugh at his brother's words, “Sure, just be sure to wear protection. Our father finds out you knocked someone up—say goodbye to your cut of his will.” He gives a sly wave to you before he leaves the kitchen again. 

“I’m going to go get cleaned up, and when I return, I would love for you not to be here.” He admits as he steps back from the space in between your thighs. 

“Okay,” You didn’t bother to argue as you gave him an innocent smile. “No goodbye kiss,” Your teeth nibbled at your lower lip as you glanced up at him through your lashes.

“You’re a pain in my ass.” You heard Zeke utter. 

But he didn’t argue against your wishes; his large hands cupped your face so gently that you could only grasp his waist, not wanting to let go. When he finally pulled away, he let his eyes linger on you just a bit longer before escaping the kitchen. 

He would always be your ugly duckling that you enjoyed bothering—but this time, he wasn’t afraid to bother you right back. 

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀thanks for reading, reblogs & comments are highly appreciated.

❪ ♡ ❫ ─── TAGS: @tyga-lily @maydayaisha @eiflawriting @stunnababyyabyyy @shamelesshoefairy @violxtbxbyy @kenpachis-woman @euhmae25 @mostlyclearbeans @emotionalfatbword @bella-fl1z @levisecretgfblog @cherrypussprincess @zcmbi @4522-08 @sprkled @magxnoria @lisia-primary @ramenaddicted @tashniko @charminstasia @cluelessb19 @maxi8898 @hyunsannie @awkatsukis @cashae @indiecursor @melaninmight @blessedfatui @hopelhss @trueformsukuna @kentcs

#zeke yeager x reader #zeke yeager smut #aot x smut #aot x reader #black reader #anime x reader #anime smut #aot x black reader #attack on titan smut #aot smut #x black reader

[thepradapariah]

Your Rising Sign ✨. The Male Gaze 👀. & Female Character Movie/TV Tropes 📺.

Are you the manic pixie dream girl or the femme fatale?!

Astro Observations 🪐

Using Movies & TV shows, I’ll be talking about observations I’ve made about rising signs! This is just my opinion! You are more than welcome to share your thoughts in the comment section!

(If you know your sidereal Rising Sign Naksaktra EVEN BETTER!)

Disclaimer:

BARE WITH ME HERE!!! This post is written in a VERY generalized way. I am not trying to be exclusionary at all! I want this to be a fun post about movies & astrology. Please be creative with your pronouns if needed! This post is for anyone who wants to read it, no matter your gender or preference, but it will be written in traditional cis-gender fashion, BUT!!!!! I have tried to incorporate all female identifying communities within the examples! I hope there is something for everyone :)

Before we begin:

Definitions:

✨What is the Male Gaze?

“In feminist theory, the male gaze is the act of depicting women and the world, in the visual arts and in literature, from a masculine, heterosexual perspective that presents and represents women as sexual objects for the pleasure of the heterosexual male viewer. In the visual and aesthetic presentations of narrative cinema, the male gaze has three perspectives: (i) that of the man behind the camera, (ii) that of the male characters within the film's cinematic representations; and (iii) that of the spectator gazing at the image.” — Wikipedia

✨What is a Character trope?

“A trope is an idea, pattern or motif that appears often enough in a particular art form that consumers of that art form begin to form particular associations with that idea.” - The Novel Factory

Introduction:

Men tend to be VERY simple creatures. Yes, they may present themselves as the broody artist w a checkered past or a sci-fi-nerdy-glasses-wearing-type fellow who LOVES Star Wars & Comic-Con. But believe it not, both these men have something in common…Their simplicity. Most men see life in black & white. They tend to take things at face value & rarely feel the need to dig deeper into something unless they are called to. This is not to over generalize (or perhaps that’s exactly what this is) but to draw attention to the straight forward attitude men usually have towards life. (I blame this on their primal hunter/gathering nature, but that’s another topic for another day). Men tend to prefer life & communication to be clear & concise, whereas woman tend to be far more “colorful” in our approach. We don’t spare any details when talking w our girlfriends about the latest gossip as if it’s our life’s duty, where men can sit in silence, playing video games & be perfectly content. In fact, I learned in sociology, that men can actually have ZERO brain activity happening at times (besides the automatic stuff, like breathing lol). Meaning— men can actually sit & think about nothing. Women, not so much, we are constantly stimulated, thinking & planning ahead. Because of this cosmically cerebral mis-match, the way men & woman tend to view each other can be a point of contention. Woman tend to over complicate men & men tend to over simplify woman. Thus giving us the ongoing battle of real complex female characters VS. the over simplified version of them through the Male Gaze. Do men think woman just sit around playing in make-up & fashion, bursting out into random tears & having pillow fights all day? If you ask Hollywood— probably. In this post, we will be specifically looking at how men over simplify woman using Movie/TV tropes & comparing them to the display of our rising sign, &/or if you know it, your rising Nakshatra.

You should know, that before I got into tarot & astrology, I graduated from the film school at New York University. So I am WELL AWARE of the film/tv writing process & thought this would be a cool way to combine my education of films & my love for astrology to teach & critique how woman tend to be represented in Cinema & Television— and in return, real life. (Art meets Life, amiright?)

There has been a discourse in the film & tv world about how woman are represented through the male gaze. I’m sure you’ve heard of the “manic pixie dream girl” trope over saturating the market right now. (Don’t worry, we will get into this later). Woman feel as if these are shallow representations of the feminine experience. While I agree with this statement, usually we don’t see very fleshed out, complex & interesting woman from male writers. (*cough cough* Euphoria Season 2.) I’m arguing here that until we form deep & intimate connections with men, they tend to see us, woman, as these movie tropes, IRL (in real life). If you don’t understand what I’m saying, hang in there w me.

Because men tend to be simple & take things at face value, they can miss out on the nuances of the woman they are with. How many times have we seen in movies a wife gets a haircut & the husband doesn’t notice? See, no eye for detail, or subtlety. Those small details that make us unique from other woman tends to go over their heads from time to time. And in a day in age where woman are generalized more on a mass scale through social media, it’s easy for men to get carried away thinking woman are all the same or simply, just not that complicated. This isn’t a bad thing, per say, this is just the default until we are able to build a lasting, deep connection between masculine & feminine energy.

In this post, we are going to be breaking down this “conundrum” by RISING SIGNS/1H/Nakshatras. Why? Because the rising sign is how you are seen in the world. The first house rules the body, & what people project on to you as well as what you project onto other people. (The beauty of the 1H/7H axis…more about this later) As a sidereal astrology girly, I think the first house/Rising Sign Nakshatra rules the personality more so than the sun & moon sign. After all, it is called “person”-ality, & the 1H is the house of person, whereas the 7H is the house of partner.

✨Why Does this Matter?

Well first off, it matters how much you want it to matter. This post is for inspiring self expression. By seeing how you effortlessly come across through the male gaze, you may be able to craft your own unique persona or perfect one of these tropes. I am not writing this post because you have to see yourself the way men see you or over simplify yourself while getting to know someone, I’m writing this to give you some indication of HOW men see you so you can put on a SHOW! I’m hoping this gives you the encouragement to take your narrative into your own hands & present your femininity in a way that’s true & authentic to you. I am an absolute FAN of these female tropes. Movies & tv shows have helped me curate the kind of woman I want to come across as. Nothing like seeing a great character on TV that you want to emulate. We all have the ability to play pretend. Look at using the male gaze as a game of dress-up. You can ALWAYS play the part in the ever going Hollywood Film— Your Life.

✨What is the First House?

The first house is the house of first impressions— the cover of the book men are judging.

Because your first house is home to your rising sign, to put it simply, the first house is how you come off to others at first glance. Even though I’m sure you’re a beautiful, complex & intriguing creature, for the sake of this article, we are looking at the first house through a “shallow” perspective. You may feel as if these descriptions don’t fit you at all, in fact, you may feel like this is the total opposite of who you actually are! (Blame the contradiction of 1H/7H axis for this one) However it’s not about how you feel, it’s about how you come across…

Read this article as if you are your crush meeting you for the first time. (Read that again, very meta, I know). The Male Gaze in movies/tv has been argued to be lazy & uninspired writing. I personally think that’s just the male gaze in general. I kid, I kid. Lol. But seriously…they are very simple minded, so we can use this to our advantage to give some of the best performances of our lives!

***If you are reading for your Sidereal Vedic Rising (which is HIGHLY suggest), please look up the degree, so you can read for the specific Nakshatra)

(If you are a man reading this, I don’t mean to drag you. We all know the childhood fact, Men are from Mars & Woman are from Venus. Lol.)

Through the Male Gaze, we will be breaking down how you come off through your rising sign & placements as Classic Movie & TV Character Tropes.

How to Read:

✨IF YOU KNOW YOUR SIDEREAL VEDIC RISING NAKSHATRA: Read that first! That will be the most specific to the trope. (I didn’t double dip, each nakshatra is only used ONCE)

______________

✨If you DON’T know your Sidereal Rising Nakshatra & your reading as a Western/Tropical Girlie———>

✨You can read for the sign in your first house (your rising sign) &/or planets placed in your FIRST OR SEVENTH HOUSE!

✨7H placements cast a direct aspect on your 1H, so if your rising sign doesn’t resonate, check your 7H placements! They have a major influence as well!

✨If you have multiple planets in your 1H &/or 7H, the planet with the LOWEST degree is the dominant planet. Ex: If you have Saturn at 26 degrees and Venus at 2 degrees, you would read the Venus tropes.

✨Unlike men, I’m giving you some flexibility (Lol) Your placements may overlap. For example, if you’re a Pisces Rising— read the blurbs for Manic Pixie Dream Girl & Girl Next Door. One description will probably fit better than the others, but you got options! If you know your sidereal chart for your rising Nakshatra, you’ll get

***There is NO direct correlation between the signs & Naks picked, this is a matter of opinion, so I put what I felt worked!***

Please please please keep in mind, movies & tv characters are larger than life, so please have fun with this post!!! This is over the top!! If you can imagine that you were an old Hollywood glamour queen or a modern cinema starlit, this would be your starring role!!!

⚠️ I do not want to offend ANYONE by using traditional gender pronouns. I am a cis-gender heterosexual female, so I am writing from the perspective I know best. I am NOT trying to say this is the only perspective that matters. I have included cis-woman, trans women & lesbians as examples in this post. Please feel free to share any insights you have, no matter the gender, non-gender or perspective! I’m truly open & supportive. This is not an exclusionary post.

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!!!! I am using Movies & Television shows as examples, so be prepared!

⚠️ Of course, special shout-out to my little sister! Without her, none of this would be possible!!

On with the Show! 🌹

💋 Manic Pixie Dream Girl

Nakshatras: Ardra, Punarvasu, Swati, Vishika, Mula

Zodiac: Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces (All Mutable Rising Signs) & Aquarius

Planets: Neptune, Mercury, Jupiter (1st or 7th House, lowest degree)

Tarot Card: Princess of Cups (Earth & Water)

✨Definition

“[The Manic Pixie Dream Girl] exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures… [The MPDG] seems to exist only to provide spiritual or mystical help to the protagonist. The MPDG has no discernible inner life. Instead, her central purpose is to provide the protagonist with important life lessons. “

-Wikipedia (Manic Pixie Dream Girl was coined by Nathan Rabin)

✨The Manic Pixie Dream Girl is arguably THEE female movie trope of the last 40 years in pop culture. As movies moved away from the Bombshell aesthetic of the 1950’s, most notably, Marilyn Monroe; Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s introduced a new kind of woman. (Even her last name, go-lighly is a play on her attitude towards the world) A woman who throws caution to the wind & isn’t afraid to take risk. In fact, this woman LIVES to take risk! She flutters in & flutters out of the Male gaze, usually chasing some wild dream of being a fashion designer, writer, actress ect, OR is a notch above (or under, depending on how you look at it) an aimless sexy hobo. Regardless of her career ambitions, she’s always as creative as she is elusive— yet somehow, is always able to drop into the male’s life right in the knick of time, whisking the male away on some fever-dream like adventures. Encountering the Manic Pixie Dream Girl almost ALWAYS accompanies a spiritual Awakening for our male protagonist. Upon meeting this woman, usually in some weird, “only happens once in a life-time” way, his world gets thrown into a chaotic flurry. Everything he thought he knew he now knows he never knew anything about it at all. He questions life, he questions reason, he question society, capitalism, the “American Dream”, etc. This is BEST demonstrated by Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) in Fight Club, directed by David Fincher. (If you haven’t seen this movie, you MUST (18+), Brad Pitt is at PEAK sexiness…s/o to the Female Gaze lol) Fight Club is a wicked tale of a man fighting himself, society & his own psyche after meeting a woman who mirrored him so closely, it triggered a masculinity awakening. This is the function of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. She is so free, so unbound, so fluid, & feminine, she helps to bring to life the masculine side of a man by reflecting his own inner chaos back to him.

As a Ardra, Punarvasu, Swati, Vishika, Mula Rising or Mutable Rising Sign: Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, or Pisces, this could be one of the ways you appear through the male gaze. Because your temperament & view of life can be so changeable, you can come across as a free-spirit, a loss soul, or a wonderer. Perhaps you are, & perhaps you aren’t, but as quickly as you change a hairstyle, you change your goals in life. The male feels as if he needs to tame you, give you structure, security or direction OR he feels like he wants to join you! Break away from the daily grind of life, break societies expectations of him & rendezvous w you, eating cereal, painting & watching cartoons all day. You can represent a child-like wonder and be the embodiment of the “wild-side” of life! As the mutable rising signs of the Zodiac, you tend to be moody & unpredictable. Through the Male Gaze, men may find it hard to connect with you because you always seem “elsewhere”. You always seem a little dazed, perhaps a little confused, but certainly “pixie” like in your approach to life. To the right male, you are fascinating, like a Jackson Pollock painting (the splatter paint dude) in the works— each stroke improvised, never knowing where the paint is going to land, but intrigued more by your process than the final product.

✨Music:

Female Gaze: Like a Bird- Nelly Furtado

Male Gaze: Sex And Candy- Marcy Playground

✨Examples

Holly Golightly- Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Jules- Euphoria

Summer- 500 Days of summer

Robyn Brooks- High Fidelity

Helena- Fight Club

Cat- Victorious

Issa- Insecure

Raven- That’s So Raven

Bubbles- Powerpuff Girls

Emily- Emily in Paris

Sally Bowles- Cabaret

💋Ice Queen

Nakshatras: Jyestha, Dhanishta, Uttara Bhadrapada

Zodiacs: Aquarius, Libra, Cancer, Scorpio

Planets: Saturn, Uranus, Moon, Venus

Tarot Card: Queen of Swords (Water & Air)

✨Defintion:

“…Cool, reserved, and giving nothing away. She may want love as ardently as anyone, but she masks her soft heart behind a wall of ice. It is up to someone else, typically her Love Interest, to soften her cold demeanor and win her love.

The Ice Queen is considered dangerous to love because she will not (or cannot) love back. She's not much for friendship either, preferring to be alone.” tvtropes .org

✨The Ice Queen is cold & unforgiving. She IS the resting bitch face personified, unimpressed & unfazed by those around her. Seemingly aloof, the male in the story is always trying to breakthrough her tough and unbothered exterior. Her coldness posses a real challenge to anyone who is interested in her romantically. She’s just a bitch. And a bad one at that! The Ice Queen is stern in her appearance & her approach to life. Usually divorced, or widowed, but doesn’t have to be, she walks as if she carries the weight on the world of her shoulder. She’s been abandoned by happiness in life, but she’s so regal, no one knows how deep her scars cut. She can resemble the Boss Bitch/Diva trope, because she normally holds a lot of power, but she carries a certain detachedness that is unique to this trope. She is NOTHING nice. The Ice Queen is hard to please & has no issues letting people know she’s unsatisfied. The Male wants to “warm her up”, breakthrough her cold exterior & get to know why she is so damn mean! In some cases he succeeds, in others he realized she’s just a mean & shallow as he originally thought. Elvira Hancock in Scarface is the prototype for this feminine character trope. Not only is her nose typically buried nose deep in snow (if you get it, you get it), she’s. a. straight. cold-hearted. biotch. She’s unbelievably gorgeous & unapproachable, & this is exactly what draws the male protagonist in to her. But even after the male “wins her over”, she was never satisfied. An Ice Queen to her CORE, she was never one to be defrosted. Defamed? Maybe…Defrosted…never.

It’s worth noting that the Ice Queen is usually HIGHLY fashionable. Not the cheap stuff either— the Ice Queen is a Queen none the less. She’s not the T-shirt & jeans girl next door, or the purple hairdo manic pixie…she’s class & sophistication. First rule, you gotta be hot to be so cold.

If you are a Jyestha, Dhanishta, Uttara Bhadrapada Rising or an Aquarius, Libra or Cancer Rising, or have Saturn, Uranus, the Moon, or Venus aspecting your first house, you may find that you come across as the Ice Queen through the male gaze. You carry a certain reserved & detached aura upon first meeting someone. Rarely would you put all your cards on the table. There is also a certain maturity that you carry with you when you walk into a room. Men will assume “oh, this girl, she’s been through some stuff”. You may find that you are somewhat withdrawn in social situations, although people may be very drawn to you. You don’t necessarily care about being liked, but you certainly care about being respected. You come off as if you don’t tolerate any kind of messiness. Men may think you play hard to get or that you just think you’re better than the average. Whatever! You don’t care what they think. You’re too busy reading or being an intellectual (whatever that means lol…this is the male gaze we are talking about). Again, to the right egotistical man who believes he can “warm you up”, you are a welcomed and ongoing challenge. The Ice Queen is the female trope of male dissatisfaction. When a Male encounters the Ice Queen in cinema, she tend to represent a part of the male that will NEVER be pleased, content or accepted. Normally the man after this cold woman’s stone-cold heart is trying to prove his worth to the world around him, & the Ice Queen serves as the perfect trophy. If he can impress her/have her, he can impress anyone & have the World! The Ice Queen is the ultimate prize for the male protagonist w ego/self-esteem issues. Nothing humbles a man quite like a cold-hearted bitch. You may find in your dating life, Male’s feel the need to impress you for no good reason..or maybe you enjoy watching men walk on their heads for a date w you! Either way, as the Ice Queen female trope you carry a certain air about you that commands attention & respect. You carry authority over yourself & those around you. The male gaze says although your intimidating, your worth a try to shut down all the haters, even if you’re hater number 1!

✨Music:

Female Gaze: Needed Me- Rihanna

Male Gaze: Roses- OutKast, Cooler than Me- Mike Posner

✨Examples

Elvira Hancock-Scarface

Camille- The Sapranos

Lady Mae Greenleaf- Greenleaf

Elsa- Frozen

Jade- Victorious

Elekta Evangelista- Pose

Claire- House of Cards

Molly- Insecure

Lucille- Arrested Development

Betty Draper- Mad Men

Mother Shannon, House of Balenciaga- Legendary

Cersei Lannister- Game of Thrones

Dominique La Rue- Harlem Nights

Gru’s Mom- Despicable Me

💋Femme Fatale

Nakshatras: Ashwini, Bharani, Ashlesha, Purva Bhadrapada, Shatabisha

Zodiacs: Aries, Scorpio, Cancer

Planets: Mars, Pluto

Tarot Card: Queen of Wands (Fire & Water)

✨Definition

“A femme fatale,sometimes called a maneater or vamp, is a stock character of a mysterious, beautiful, and seductive woman whose charms ensnare her lovers, often leading them into compromising, deadly traps. She is an archetype of literature and art. Her ability to enchant, entice and hypnotize her victim with a spell was in the earliest stories seen as verging on supernatural; hence, the femme fatale today is still often described as having a power akin to an enchantress, seductress, witch, having power over men. Femmes fatales are typically villainous, or at least morally ambiguous, and always associated with a sense of mystification, and unease.”

-Wikipedia

✨The Femme Fatale is arguably the most ICONIC of the female movie tropes. A popular trope of Film Noir “movement” in the late 1940s, early 1950s, the Femme Fatale is a sexual seductress with a naughty side. Enchanting as she is dangerous, the male gaze ogles her, even though it may cost him his life— or at least his job & social standing. Medusa is one of the best representations of this trope. If a man locks eyes w her, he’s as good as dead— yet, time & time again, men tried to defeat her, only to meet a tragic end. As time progressed, the story of the woman who turns men to stone (definitely a sexual innuendo if you ask me) found new life in television & film. The Femme Fatale is a beautiful disaster just waiting to happen. She’s wild, like the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, but she has a certain knack for danger and crime. She lures the male in & traps him like a spider in her web. The male is usually a little weary of the woman, but is overcome w her grace & charm, or he’s truly an unsuspecting victim who gets completely taken advantage of an entangled in whatever mess she’s made for herself. One way or the other, the male often ends up in a position of life & death after lusting after this dark & intriguing beauty. The film, Carmen Jones, starring Dorthy Dandridge, is a classic tale of a woman w loose morals who ends up (spoiler alert) dead. Unlike most of the other female tropes, the femme fatale almost always suffers consequences for her actions. She either ends up in jail, or dead, or kills her lover, or he ends up in jail, or her lover ends up dead. Tragic, I know. Again, think of Medusa…she killed everything she laid her eye on, & then ultimately had to be killed. (RIP Medusa, you were a baddie). No one gets out scotch free when dealing w this character. The femme fatale is mysterious, almost like a mythical creature or an enchantress, & the male is instantly drawn into her, whether they exchange words in a bar, or she simply flicks her cigarette & he rushes to relight it. One thing is for sure, she lives by her own rules & is bound by nothing…not the law or death itself. She’s usually a criminal minded free-spirit, manipulating her way through life to survive.

If you are an Ashwini, Bharani, Ashlesha, Purva Bhadrapada Rising Or an Aries, Scorpio, or Cancer Rising, or you have Pluto or Mars aspecting your 1H, you may come off as the femme fatale through the male gaze. Your dark, broody & secretive nature is fascinating to them, and they want to join you on a passionate journey through time & space or save you from whatever sticky situation you may have put yourself in. They want to play detective & you are the perfect case to crack. When the femme fatale enters the male’s life, she instantly posses a threat to his usually naive understanding of the world. She’s not your typical housewife— far from it. She challenges the traditional social construct of beauty & submission. Normally from a troubled/difficult past past, the femme fatale will only submit to law & death, she’s been forced to learn the ugly sides of life & uses them to her advantage. You may find that male’s tend to want to dominate you or control your direction in life in relationships, but you are REPULSED by this notion. This trope teaches men (and woman sadly), that freedom comes w a cost. Hopefully it’s not your life, but if it is, you sure make a sexy corpse!

✨Music:

Female Gaze: Wild side- Normani

Male Gaze: Dirty Diana -Michael Jackson

✨Examples

Filomena (Sophia Lauren)- Marriage Italian Style

Cat Woman- Batman

Carmen- Carmen Jones

Dr. Frank-N-Furter (played by the wonderful Lavern Cox)- The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Jennifer- Jennifer’s Body

Gilda (Rita Hayworth)- Gilda

Amy Dunne- Gone Girl

Laura Biel- 365 Days

Alex Vause- Orange Is the New Black

💋Queen Bee/Mean Girl

Nakshatras: Krittika, Purva Phalguni, Chitra, Purva Ashadha

Zodiacs: Libra, Capricorn, Aries, Leo, Taurus & Gemini

Planets: Venus, Mars, Sun, Mercury

Tarot Card: Princess of Swords (Earth & Fire)

“The Mean Girl trope had us all believe that the dark side to womanhood is catty, conniving competitiveness.”

The swaddle.com

“Mean girls are often overly concerned with appearance. They may place a high priority on their clothing, their make-up, and even their weight. Likewise, they may zero in on these things in others, pointing out everything from acne and weight gain to clothing choices and hairstyles.”

-theteenmagazine.com

✨Somewhere between The Ice Queen and The Diva, there lies a sweet sour sweet CLASSIC female trope that always leaves the girls GAGGING in disbelief, like “did she just say that?!!” The Queen Bee/Mean Girl trope has her fair share of representation in film & TV, particularly in teen dramas, but she is NOT limited to high school. The Queen Bee is in charge, she knows what she wants, she knows how she likes it & she has ZERO problem letting her loyal subject know. Sometimes, she is portrayed w a deep deep deep DEEP down heart of hold, but most of the time, she’s just a straight biotch from beginning to end. You DON’T want to cross her, or you just might end-up on her ever growing hit-list. If there is one thing Ms. Mean Girl can do..it’s hold a grudge. As stated above, the Queen Bee/Mean girl trope serves the stereotype of the cattiness & competitiveness of femininity. And it is a fact that in the wild, the female animals are usually far more aggressive than their male counterparts. (Think Lion, or a Mama Bear). Boys may have their sports, but lady’s have their looks & they will secure that W come hell or high water all the way to Prom Queen.

If you are a Krittika, Purva Phalguni, Chitra, Purva Ashadha Rising or Libra, Taurus, Aries, Leo or Gemini Rising, OR if you have Venus, Mars or the Sun aspecting your 1H/7H, you may come off as the typical Mean Girl Trope through the Male Gaze. You’re aloof, yet decisive about the things you truly care about— like— “Wednesdays, we wear pink”. You keep people on the tip of their toes with witty banter & effortless conversation. If they don’t know the latest trends, the current celebrity gossip or who dumped whom…well, you’re just not interested in what they have to say, so why bother? You can play the villain easily & have no problem being unliked as long as you are respected. You are a social butterfly, a socialite, if you will. You know how to make the streets talk with admiration & envy. People may be afraid that they can’t meet your standards, but good, they probably can’t. NO UGLY FRIENDS is the motto— people may think you actually hold try-outs for who is allowed to sit with you at the table. Through it all, you know how to take control & lead— this energy oozes from you as people seem to just step aside as you sashay down the halls. Always up on the latest fashion, you always come w your A-game and your enemies will NEVER catch you slipping. There is a beautiful confidence that you exude because you know you are the one and only. People may be extremely intimidated by you, but the real ones will bow at your feet.

The shadow side of this trope is the shadiness. Queen Bees/Mean girls are known for being just that—MEAN. People may assume that you are quite backstabby & mischievous. YOU, of all the movie tropes, don’t mind playing

d-i-r-t-y! People perceive you as never wanting to let go of that crown & you’ll do whatever it takes to keep the social order in tact. Think “Status-Quo” High School Musical w Sharpay, the ULTIMATE representation of this trope, screaming from the top of the cafeteria! (THIS IS NOT WHAT SHE WANTS! THIS IS NOT WHAT SHE PLANNED!!!!!) She didn’t care who she had to cut, scheme, lie, trick, plot & sabotage to make SURE Ms. Gabriella did not get the spotlight w her man, Troy. Think of the lengths you’ll go to to get what you want. You come off as spicy, cunt-y (in the best way), & beautiful. You are a glamour girl & never afraid to throw some shade here & there, making you the ultimate reigning Queen Bee!

✨Music

Female Gaze: Feeling Myself- Nicki Minaj

Male Gaze: Mad at myself- Issues

✨Examples

Maddie- Euphoria

Regina George- Mean Girls

CoCo- Dear White People

Lulu- Pose

Toni- Girlfriends

Emma Roberts in Coven & Scream Queens

Blair- Gossip Girl

Cheryl Blossom- Riverdale

Santana- Glee (Rest in Peace)

Buttercup- Powerpuff Girls

Alison DiLaurentis- Pretty Little Liars

Sharpay- High School Musical

The Heathers

Penelope- My Dog (LOVE HER, but she’s such a Bitch—a bad one though lol)

💋Ingenue/Damsel in Distress

Nakshatras: Mrigashirsa, Rohini, Hasta, Revati

Zodiacs: Cancer, Capricorn, Libra, Aries (All Cardinal Rising Signs) & Pisces, Taurus

Planets: Moon, Venus, Saturn

Tarot Card: Queen of Cups (Water) Libra, Aries

“The ingénue usually has the fawn-eyed innocence of a child but subtle sexual appeal as well.”

“The damsel in distress is a recurring narrative device (or trope) in which one or more men must rescue a woman who has either been kidnapped or placed in general peril. Kinship, love, or lust (or a combination of those) gives the male protagonist the motivation or compulsion to initiate the narrative. The female character herself may be competent, but still finds herself in this type of situation.”

Wikipedia

✨The Ingenue/Damsel in Distress is one of the most recognizable female movie tropes to date. From the tales of The Greeks, to King-Kong, to Broomhilda from Djengo— there is always some damsel…somewhere…that is…in fact…in…distress. The Ingenue is a naive babe, just learning the ins & outs of life. She’s pretty, she’s unassuming & adorably doe-eyed, full of wonder for the life ahead of her— just waiting for a strong man to show her the way! The ingenue is common, but in the best way. She’s not an ice-cold bitch like the Ice Queen or the Queen Bee, but she sits more in her femininity that the Tomboy or the Diva. She’s divine & subtle and a man is always lurking around the corner, waiting to whisk her away from all the evils in the world. If this sounds like a Disney Princess, it’s because it is. Most Disney Princesses would fit into the Ingenue/Damsel in Distress character trope, but just like most of the Princesses, no matter how young & impressionable, the Ingenue is usually the one who makes a way for herself in the end.

If you are a Mrigashirsa, Rohini, Hasta, Revati Rising or a Cardinal rising (Aries, Cancer, Libra Capricorn) or Pisces, the male gaze may perceive you as the Ingenue/Damsel in Distress trope. Your beauty & grace exceed you, & your youth is ever-present. When the male sees you, they just want to protect you & hold you dear. You spark masculinity in those who are attracted to you because you come across so soft & gentle. But don’t get it twisted, you can be a little spicy! You certainly have a little sass to you, but you try not to wear it on your sleeve. You are a true darling to those who are deserving. You serve ultimate demure womanliness & you seem to glide through any room you’re in. Although your impulsiveness & naiveté may land you in some sticky situations, there’s always a lovely leading man just beyond the pines to lead you out of the darkness and into their arms (Awwwwwwwwwww). You may be the type to need help opening the pickle jar, or clumsily fall into some big strong arms— you don’t mind being on the receiving end of affection & people just swoon over you. Unlike the Door Next Door, there can still be an “unapproachability” factor to you. You’re not the girl from down the street, you’re the new girl in town; a little lost, a little curious, but always cute! You may find that men tend to underestimate you & you’re constantly trying to prove yourself. OR you can find yourself in situations where your voice tends to be over powered as you get lost in a sea of toxic masculinity! Either way, you know how to leave a room in awe. You carry just enough mystique & intrigue that male’s fight to know more about you, but yet they just feel as if you’re a naturally good person. You’re coy, but not too coy. You’re shy, but not too shy. You are the perfect “woman”. You may have a past, but your future is always bright! A hero waits around the corner for the perfect time to catch you when you fall or introduce you to a world you didn’t know existed.

As the Ingenue/Damsel in Distress, your energy is POWERFUL, almost as if you’re sexily yelling “Fire! Fire! Save me! Help me!” when you walk into the room. You know how to keep the male gaze & they will break their necks to see you eloquently walk by. Before the reign of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, you were the trope on top— the beautiful default representation of hyper-femininty in the 20s/30s/40s. You set the standards for the early starlets, they were nothing if they weren’t the lovely ingenue!

✨Music

Female Gaze: Bring Me to Life- Evanessance, Pretty When I Cry- Lana Del Ray

Male Gaze: Let Me Love You- Mario

✨Examples

Betty Draper- Mad Men

Celie- The Color Purple

Neytiri- Avatar

Autumn- P-Valley

Daisy- The Great Gatsby

Persephone- The [Abduction] of Persephone

Irene- Drive

Angel Evangelista- Pose

Disney Princesses

Broomhilda- Django Unchained

Piper Chapman- Orange Is the New Black

Mississippi- P-Valley

Penelope- The Odyssey

Satine- Mulan Rouge

💋Girl Next Door/Tomboy

Nakshatras: Anuradha, Uttara Ashadha, Shravana

Planets:Jupiter, Venus, Neptune

Zodiacs: Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces, Taurus, Libra

Tarot Card: Princess of Pentacles (Earth)

“The girl next door is usually from a small town or an un-flashy neighborhood. Her personality tends to be down-to-earth, supportive, and approachable. For both her main boy and her culture at large, the girl next door embodies an idealized, wholesome femininity.”

-the-take.com

✨The Girl Next Door/Tomboy Trope is by far the most realistic & relatable female trope of all. She’s not flashy. She’s not mean. She’s kind & sometimes even “one of the guys”. She gives off an innocence that makes her irresistible to the male gaze because she’s just so darn cool. She’s “not like the other girls”. Although she may prefer a comfy t-shirt & jeans, she’s comfortable in her femininity. She doesn’t try to compete with other woman— even though other woman my try & compete with her. Why? Because she’s usually the girl surrounded by all the guys— not because she flaunts her beauty, but rather because she’s not stuck on herself. She challenges the status quo demonstrating that sexy can be fun, sexy can be sweet & sexy can be “normal”. Zendaya is arguably the IT girl of a generation & she usually plays this type of character. She comes across as someone you can sip cool-aid with after she beats you in a round of basketball! For some, that’s sexier than Marilyn Monroe herself! This is the All-American (no matter the race) beauty that only lives a few doors down. This trope is most likely to be in the “friend-zone”, until one day the male realizes…”OH MY GOSH! SHE HAS BOOBS!”

If you are an Anuradha, Uttara Ashadha, Shravana Rising OR a Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces, Taurus, Libra Rising, you could come off as the Girl Next Door/Tomboy female trope. You’re approachable & not stuck on yourself & that makes you highly desirable through the male gaze. You’re simple & non-demanding like some of your other female counterparts and this makes you a breath of fresh air in a Kardashian fueled instagram dystopia. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure you know how to clean up nicely! When it’s times for you to put on a skirt & heels, you knock ‘em dead. You’re stunning! But you’d much rather lead with personality than looks. You have an effortlessness about you that can’t be obtained by just anyone. At times you may feel a bit awkward about your sexuality, but again, through the right male’s gaze, this is SUCH a turn on. This is an extremely powerful trope because you are realistic. You may have big dreams, but you feel like you come from humble beginnings. You’re authentic to yourself, not to Chanel & Gucci. Sometimes, you may feel overlooked & one-up’d by the “popular girl”, but there is ALWAYS someone who thinks you are the most beautiful girl in the room because you light up the room like no body else & don’t get me started on the way you flip your hair & how it gets the boys overwhelmed. You don’t know you’re beautiful…and that’s….that’s what makes you so beautiful. How lovely!

If you are the Girl Next Door Trope, you don’t have to worry about putting on a show to impress the boysies around you. Just continue to be you’re cool & down to Earth self. Even though it seems like we live in Shallow Land, where everything is based on superficial looks & flawless instagram selfies, you’re super special because you don’t give in. Don’t conform & don’t rush to be the “it” girl. You don’t need the BBL & the thick lashes. (NOTHING IS WRONG W THIS!!! NOTHING~~~) Your natural beauty is more than enough through the Male Gaze!

✨Music

Female Gaze: All You Wanted- Michelle branch

Male Gaze: Hey There Delilah- The Plain White Tees

*sorry I couldn’t link it! Ran out of space!

✨Examples

MJ (Zendaya)- Spider-Man

Zoe- Grownish

Victoria-Victorious

Monica- Love & Basketball

Bella- Twilight

Justice-Poetic Justice

Peggy- Mad Men

Moeisha- Moeisha

Betty Cooper- Riverdale

Blanca Rodriguez- Pose

Apollonia- Purple Reign

Danielle- The Girl Next Door

💋Diva/Boss Bitch

Nakshatras: Pushya, Magha, Uttara Phalguni

Planets: Sun, Saturn, Mars

Zodiacs: Leo, Scorpio, Taurus, Aquarius (All Fixed Rising Signs) & Sagittarius, Capricorn

Tarot Card: Queen of Pentacles (Earth & Water)

“The strong, dark, beautiful woman. She's often a go-getter, chasing stardom, wealth, or just recognition for her talents. If she becomes an Idol, she's not constrained by the pressures of always appearing youthful, innocent, and approachable.

Part of her allure is instead her maturity, either in personality or in sexuality. When she walks in the room she not only turns heads, but she demands respect and won't hesitate to set you straight if she doesn't get it.”

-tvtropes.org

✨The Diva/Boss Bitch Female trope is THEE BADDEST BITCH. She’s worked hard to get where she is & she isn’t going to let some MAN come along and knock her off her thrown. This female trope demands a certain level of respect when she walks into the room— all heads turn because they know she’s the boss, just waiting to give quick & sharp directions. Usually fashionable, because she can AFFORD it (hello!), she knows how to command in any setting while looks good. A trend setter! She may be one of the most intimidating of the female tropes through the Male Gaze, on par with the Ice Queen, because the Diva carries a certain masculine energy. She usually is running things & bossing men around herself. She doesn’t let her sex get in the way of her ambition & talent. This character trope is not afraid to speak her mind because she knows she has just as much right to a seat at the table as anyone. She’s hard to impress & won’t settle for anything less than perfect. Mediocrity will NOT FLY with the Diva. She expects & she will have the best.

If you are a Pushya, Magha, Uttara Phalguni Rising or a Leo, Scorpio, Taurus, Aquarius, Sagittarius, or Capricorn Rising, you may come off as the Diva/Boss Bitch female character trope. You seem to prioritize work, success & your ambition over friendships & relationships. You force the males who gaze upon you to reevaluate their own status & merit in the world. They know you can’t be easily swayed & have to step to you with their best foot forward. Usually depicted as an insatiable boss, men may feel you’re an insatiable lover— demanding & hard to please…whatever, this doesn’t stop you! You know what you want & if they don’t get it for you, you’ll get it your damn self. You come off as self-assured & somewhat egotistical. You’re proud of your work & you expect to be treated like the BOSS that you are. If someone has a problem with that, well then, they can just get in line! Olivia Pope in Scandal is a great example of this trope in action. First, she has a J.O.B. & she’s DAMN good at it. The best, even. Her sex appeal through the male gaze is due to her wits & her competence. Like you, as soon as she walks into the room, people know it’s business time.

If you are the Diva/Boss Bitch Trope, don’t let ANYONE discredit your hustle—not another woman, not a man…NO ONE! You’ve worked hard to get where you are, and it shows because of the way you carry yourself. You can be one of the classiest tropes of all & that’s more impressive than you could ever know. Your beauty lies in the fact that you are sophistication personified. Your intrigue lies in the fact of your rarity! Not every woman is as ambitious or as capable as you are. You make men shiver when they lay eyes on you because you have an aura that screams “STEP YOUR GAME UP OR GET TO STEPPING!” Never try to dim who you are. You’re bossy & you’re the bitch they all LOVE to hate! Let them! You’d probably hate you too if you weren’t you because you are just too fly to handle! Confidence oozes from your pores because you know your stuff. Although it’s lonely at the top, you enjoy the view of downtown from your corner office! It’s hard to compete where others don’t compare Ms. Diva! Own it!

✨Music

Female Gaze: Flawless- Beyoncé

Male Gaze: Ms. Independent- Ne-yo

*sorry I couldn’t link it! Ran out of space!

✨Examples

Olivia Pope- Scandal

Blossom- Powerpuff Girls

Miranda Priestly— Devil Wears

Annalise Keeting- How To Get Away With Murder

Sylvie- Emily in Paris

Jaqueline- Boomerang

Shug Avery- The Color Purple

Cookie- Empire

Mercedes- P-Valley

Matron “Mama” Morton- Chicago

#astrology #vedic astrology #astro notes #astrology observations #sidereal astrology #astrology notes #astro observations #music #rising sign #movie tropes #Spotify

[ramblingoak]

Satan’s Toy Box

Hello anon!  Thank you for the prompt and I hope you enjoy what I came up with!  

~ As the owner of the local sex toy shop you find yourself developing a crush on a Cardinal from the local Satanic church ~

The prompt was: attempting to find out if they are single/available

Cardinal Copia x GN Reader (nsfw, 18+, mdni)

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Today was going to be the day.

You had been working up the courage for months at this point, ever since the man had first walked into your store.  He was definitely handsome, if a little old fashioned.  Not many people sported sideburns and mustaches anymore, but he pulled them both off.  It made him seem distinguished, especially with the salt and pepper strands creeping in at his temples. 

He was older than who you usually went for.  Of course maybe that was a good idea given your recent track record.  It seemed like most people your age weren’t ready to settle down yet.  You weren’t exactly looking to settle down yourself, the thought of a white picket fence and 2.5 kids was vaguely terrifying if you were being honest.  Unfortunately the main obstacle in your dating life was where you worked: Satan’s Toy Box.

It was rather irritating how fast some people would leave after learning you owned a sex supply shop.  You really didn’t know what the big deal was.  Some people were still way too hung up on topics surrounding sex.  It seemed like you either got people that were immediately turned off at the news or they thought you personally experimented with every item you sold.

Although honestly that wasn’t too far from the truth.

I mean, you had your limits, but you were taught that it was important for a business owner to know their product.  First hand experience and all that.  So if your products happened to be sex toys, so be it.  You’d never been one to shy away from some adventure in the bedroom.  Or out of it even.

Setting up shop in a town that also had a Satanic Church had seemed like a brilliant idea.  Kind of like Girl Scouts selling cookies right outside pot dispensaries.  It was a match made in Heaven.  Well, Hell.  Whatever.  Anyway, the various church members were regulars in your shop.  Siblings of Sin as they were called, people in masks called Ghouls, a few men in skull paint that called themselves ‘Papa’ and the man you had been trying to build up the courage to ask out: Cardinal Copia.

So yes, when Copia had waltzed into your store for the first time in a tight red suit you had been immediately interested.  He cut an interesting figure, what with the facial hair and the paint around his eyes and on his upper lip.  You had been behind the front counter and called out a welcome, but the poor man had been startled at your sudden voice and walked right into a display of neon butt plugs.

His cheeks had turned the same color of his suit and he tripped over an apology while trying to pick up the display.  You had rushed over to help, assuring him it was no problem while desperately trying not to stare at his face.  His Italian accent was giving you thoughts and it was possible when your hands both reached for the same neon pink butt plug you already had hearts in your eyes.

It was like you were starring in a Hallmark movie.

After everything had been cleaned up he had introduced himself and mentioned he was there to pick up an order for the church.  The transaction had gone quickly, only a little small talk before he had left with his large order of lube.  It was really adorable how often he felt the need to clarify it was for the church and not just him.  Like it mattered to you, you liked a man that was prepared.

By now though months had passed and you were fairly embarrassed with yourself that you hadn’t asked him out yet.  You just kept thinking he probably had some cute young sibling at the abbey.  Probably multiple siblings.  Why would he want to settle with one person when he was surrounded by beautiful people literally there to sin 24/7?  Plus you didn’t want to make things awkward, he was a regular customer after all. 

It’s just…what if he was interested as well?  He definitely had a flirty vibe whenever you spoke, but it’s possible he was just being nice.  There had been a few times he’d come in with some of the Ghouls and both times it looked like they had been arguing, only speaking in fierce whispers.  You wouldn’t have necessarily thought it was about you, but the last time they had been in the shop you overheard one of them tell Copia to ‘grow a pair’.

That had been what really drove you to decide that today was it, you were going to ask Cardinal Copia out on a date.  He was going to (maybe) say yes, you both would later have (probably) amazing sex and then in a year or so you’d (possibly) have that white picket fence everyone seemed to be clamoring for.  Or whatever the Satanic equivalent was, you weren’t going to be picky.

You had been doing laps around the shop all morning.  Dusting shelves and straightening products.  Making sure the movies were organized by genre and then alphabetized within each section.  The store hadn’t even been this clean when you first opened it.  As you made another meandering lap by the front door you stopped when you heard raised voices.

Creeping closer you peeked through the window expecting to see maybe a group of religious nuts or protestors, something you’d unfortunately dealt with before.  Instead what you saw was the Cardinal and a few of the Ghouls seemingly arguing with each other.  Not really wanting them to continue making a scene on the sidewalk, you swung the door open to ask if everything was ok, but Copia’s raised voice stopped you in your tracks.

“For the last time I’m not a virgin!”

Copia’s back was to you as he faced the other two, but you could see him tense up when the sound of the bell on your door registered.  One of the Ghoul’s immediately hung their head, the other covered their mouth with their hands to try and hide their laughter.  Honestly you wanted to laugh too, you could only imagine the look on poor Copia’s face.  He slowly turned around and his shoulders sagged when he saw you.  

“Good to know, Cardinal.”  You felt a little bad teasing him, but you also could have said something much, much worse.  He was lucky you liked him so much.  “Come on in!  I’ve got your order ready for you.”

You heard him mutter something to the Ghouls but they all trailed behind you inside the store.  The Ghouls took off to different corners, but Copia stayed behind you.  When he cleared his throat you turned nearly causing him to run into you.

“Cara mia, I’m not.  Uh, you know.”

“You’re not what?”

“A virgin.”

You gave him a soft smile, really it didn’t matter to you either way.  Experienced lovers were great but being able to teach someone was also great.  Really, really great.

“Oh well, it’s ok if you are.  I won’t judge.”

Copia fidgeted for a moment and reached a hand out to rest it on the nearby butt plug display.  The damn thing wasn’t very sturdy to do that, which he should know, so a few of the plugs fell off and clattered onto the floor.  You dug your teeth into your lip to stop from laughing, watching as he hurried to pick them up and get them back where they belonged.

“That’s very kind of you, but again, I’m not.”

He got everything back in place and then brushed his hands on the front of his suit, awkwardly resting them on his hips when he was done.  You couldn’t help but let your eyes wander over him for a moment because really, those suits were a gift.  When Copia cleared his throat you quickly looked back up at his face.

“Ok.  Um, cool.”

God, why were you still talking about this?  Cool?  He would never agree to go on a date with you now.  You sighed and gave him a brief smile before turning to get behind the counter and grab the church’s delivery.  ‘Yeah it’s super cool you aren’t a virgin, here’s the ten bottles of lube you ordered, have a great time’.  You were such an idiot.  Grunting you picked up the box and then set it on the counter. 

“Uh, actually, I had something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”  You glanced up from the box, watching as he nervously rubbed his hands together.  What could he possibly be nervous about?  He opened his mouth to continue but one of the Ghoul’s jogged up and slammed something down next to the box.

“Hey Boss, found the tentacle dildo you wanted.”

Copia immediately let loose a string of Italian and shoved the Ghoul away.

“For fucks sake Dewdrop would you piss off?!  Aether!”  The other Ghoul hurried up to the front, taking one look at the dildo then at the other Ghoul and sighed.

Aether grabbed the box and shoved it into Dewdrop’s hands.  He then grabbed the Ghoul by his shoulders and started pulling him out of the store.  Dewdrop was dragging and kicking his feet as he went, one kick sending the butt plug display flying and really, maybe you should just put that thing out of its misery.  You looked over to Copia, his cheeks as red as his suit as he looked at all the plugs scattered across the floor.  Again.

“Kids these days, huh?”  

Copia snorted and when you made your way around to pick everything up he leaned down and started helping you.

“I’m sorry, cara mia.  The Ghouls are a little uh, rambunctious.”

“No worries, we’re old hands at fixing this thing by now.”

You turned to smile at him, your smile growing when you saw that his cheeks were still red.  He picked up the last plug on the floor, but stared down at it for a moment before speaking.

“I feel like I’m always bringing chaos with me when I visit.”  Copia nibbled his lip briefly before handing the plug over.  “Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

Oh if he only knew.  You stared at him for a moment, your mind going a mile a minute as you tried to get the courage to ask him out.

“Coffee?”

“Oh, si!  I can go get you a coffee!”

Shit.  You took a deep breath and reached a hand out to touch his arm.

“No, I meant, do you want to get a coffee…with me?”  Copia stood there for a moment, his mouth open and you instantly had a sinking feeling in your gut.  Fuck.  Ok, fuck.  That wasn’t what he meant, of course he would just want to go get you a coffee.  “I’m sorry, Cardinal!  That was unprofessional of me.  Just forget I said anything, let me get your receipt.”

As you started to rush by he shot out a hand and grasped your elbow.  You looked up at him, taking in his handsome features for what you hoped wasn’t the last time.

“What if I don’t want to?  Forget it, I mean.”

It took every ounce of self control you had not to start doing a little dance.

“So you do want to get coffee?  Together?”

“Si, si.  But I was actually hoping we could have dinner instead, would that be alright?”

Holy fuck.

“Yes!  I mean yes, dinner would be great.”

“Bene!  Molto bene.”  Copia was positively beaming at you and you probably looked exactly the same.  “Would tomorrow night work, cara?”

“Yes, that would be great.  I close at 6 so anytime after that.”

“Okie dokie, I will be here at 6.  Then dinner.”

You were afraid to open your mouth again and let out the ridiculous screeching sound you wanted to make so you just smiled wider and hurried off toward the counter.  When you turned with the receipt in your hand you bumped right into his chest, not realizing he had followed you.

“Oh, sorry Cardinal!”

Ugh, could you embarrass yourself any more today?  Copia didn’t seem bothered though, he took the receipt from you with one hand and with the other he pulled your hand to his mouth.  He placed a quick kiss on the back, smiling softly at you after.

“It’s Copia to you, cara mia.”  He dropped another kiss onto your hand and then slowly started walking backwards toward the door.  Copia looked a little smug watching as your hand remained frozen in the air.  “I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

You were grinning like an idiot now, barely holding in the dreamy sigh that was desperately wanting to come out.  Copia gave you an equally goofy smile back and then spun on his heel to leave.  Unfortunately he ran right into the display again and once more your floor was covered in neon colored butt plugs.

Ok, maybe not exactly like a Hallmark movie, but close enough for you.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

my masterlist

my ao3

#my fics #my writing #cardinal copia x reader #copia x reader #cardinal copia fanfiction #copia fanfiction #the band ghost fanfiction

[princesssarisa]

I've decided not to write any more long posts about why some people don't like Disney's Belle. I've probably been dwelling too much in other people's negative thoughts that I disagree with. But here are the rest of the critiques of Belle's character that I've read, and my short, succinct thoughts on each one.

I still think it's very interesting that some critics think Belle is too sweet and gentle, too feminine, and not "strong" or "modern" enough, while others think she's too defiant, too "modern," and not sweet or gentle enough.

Her desires at the beginning are ill-defined: she wants "adventure" and "more," but has no specific goal. This is true, but personally, I don't mind it. Plenty of us don't know exactly what we want from life, but do know that we want more excitement and wonderment.

She does nothing but read and complain in the village; she makes no effort to achieve her dreams of adventure, and she never does any realistic peasant chores, which makes her come across even more as a spoiled rich girl. I think it's implicit that Belle and Maurice are too poor to leave the village – that's why Maurice sets out to gain fame and fortune with his invention. And I think Belle's never doing housework onscreen was part of Linda Woolverton's feminist agenda. Maybe it's not realistic, and maybe it's overly "second wave feminist," but I do think it was fair of Woolverton to want to break away from the Walt-era Princess model and not show Belle cooking or cleaning.

Her dreams of adventure are side-swept in favor of a mere love story. I think there are two ways of addressing this issue. One is to argue that her dreams of adventure do come true, just in a way she never expected. The other, supported more by the song "A Change in Me" from the musical, is that she does lose her dreams, but for the better, as she realizes her life doesn't need to be like a romantic storybook to be happy.

Her romance with the Beast isn't nearly as fleshed-out or as realistic as fans claim it is. This is subjective. Some people think it's one of the best-written romance arcs in cinema.

She affects meek politeness and plays games with Gaston instead of plainly refusing his advances. First of all, if Belle didn't care about politeness, she would be a hypocrite to criticize Gaston and the Beast for their rudeness. Secondly, Gaston is intimidating. Third, this is only the beginning of her journey – with the Beast, she arguably learns to stand up to someone who mistreats her, which lets her decisively reject Gaston and call him a monster later on.

She seems to blindly love all books without questioning their content, which could be dangerous, especially when the French Revolution arrives. Belle has no trouble thinking for herself. If she can open her heart and mind to the Beast, and loathe Gaston while the rest of the town adores him, then I'm sure she can tell good books apart from bad and dangerous books. And the fashions in the movie are such a mish-mosh that I'm not sure if it takes place before the French Revolution or after... or if the French Revolution will even happen in this fairy tale world.

She sacrifices her own needs for men. Yes she does, but it's not framed in a gendered way, and both the Beast and Maurice do the same for her.

She emasculates the Beast. Well, I'll admit that the Beast's arc isn't very empowering for him – that's the whole point, that he learns to give up some of his personal power and love unselfishly. But is that necessarily a bad thing? I'll also admit that sometimes, I feel troubled that the Beast lets the mob attack the castle and does nothing to protect his servants. Still, we probably shouldn't judge a character whose mental health is clearly suffering at this point: immobilizing, suicidal despair doesn't only exist in fiction, so we should think twice before we call it "weakness" or "emasculation."

She needs male characters to rescue her – the Beast from the wolves, Chip from the cellar. I respect the complaint that the Disney Renaissance movies still rely too much on the "boy rescues girl" trope, but there's no shame in needing to be rescued. Especially because in the forest scene, Belle is just one human facing a whole pack of wolves, and in the cellar scene, her father is rescued too.

She never uses her skills, knowledge, or passions to solve problems – the only purpose they serve is to unite her with the Beast. I think this is just a genre problem. The whole story is geared toward uniting Belle and the Beast in love, and every story beat serves that end.

She almost leaves the Beast to die in the snow and stays angry about the West Wing incident even after he saves her life. The former is only a split second, while the latter is only in self-defense when the Beast unfairly blames her for his injury. Besides, consider the context of how the Beast has behaved until this point!

She's a hypocrite for giving the Beast a second chance yet dismissing Gaston as a monster. She doesn't give the Beast a chance until he risks his life to save hers. If Gaston had done anything like that, she would have given him a second chance too, but he doesn't. Gaston is also far more cold-blooded and narcissistic than the Beast ever is.

She's to blame for the Beat's near-death at the climax because she reveals his existence to Gaston and the other villagers. Of course she is. It's explicitly framed as a terrible mistake and she openly blames herself. But it's an impulsive act of desperation to save her father, and she tries to explain that the Beast is kind and gentle. Until it's too late, it clearly doesn't cross her mind that the villagers could form a mob to kill him!

She plays a nurturing, motherly role to both the Beast and her father. I agree that heroines shouldn't need to be nurturing. But it's not inherently anti-feminist to be that way!

She's sidelined in the final battle. Yes, this is true, but her presence is still essential to the scene, and not every heroine needs to be an action girl.

Her portrayal falls short of the original Beauty's greatest virtues: her kindness, selflessness, and compassion. Belle still has those qualities, they're just combined with more "modern" ones (adventurousness, defiance toward unjust authority figures, etc.). Besides, Disney had already made several excellent movies about heroines defined by kindness and gentleness. What's wrong with giving Belle a slightly different set of virtues?

She's too traditionally feminine and ladylike. I think most of us can agree that "femininity" ≠ "anti-feminist," and anyone who thinks that way is a little misguided.

Her creators glorify her at the expense of the other Disney Princesses. I agree that it was unfair and mean-spirited of Linda Woolverton to imply that the three Walt-era Princesses are "insipid," but I do respect her insistence on making Belle a different, more "modern" heroine. And I agree that Paige O'Hara was mistaken when she described Belle as "the first Princess not looking for a man" (neither Cinderella nor Ariel dream of romance until they actually meet their princes), but I don't hold that against Belle.

She's too blatantly written as a role model – she doesn't feel like a real person, but like a living instruction manual for how a "smart," "empowered" woman should behave. This is valid. But I personally do think she seems like a real person as well as a role model, and I think she's engaging enough that I don't mind the obvious "role model" qualities.

#disney #beauty and the beast #belle #fairy tale #animated film #criticism #analysis

[inmyminditsreal]

Getting ready to meet the team

Fem!reader x spencer reid

Word count: 638

Summary: You're going to meet the team but need Spencers' help getting ready. To which he happily agrees.

You’re in your bathroom, sitting on the counter and putting on makeup. The BAU had invited you and Spencer to a get together at the bar. It was the first time you would be meeting the team, and be introduced as Spencer's girlfriend. Naturally, you had already taken 20 minutes getting ready and Spencer was waiting outside the door,

“Honey, are you almost done? It starts in 10 minutes.” He calls.

You respond with, “Yeah I’m- Oh no.” Just as you fumble your lipstick and leave a big red mark on your face.

“ Is everything okay?” You hear him ask.

“Yeah. Just an accident.” You say while opening the door.

“Oh my. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

He sits you down on the sink and starts fixing your failed makeup. His hands were so big compared to the small lipstick. He smiles and says,

“You’re so clumsy, you know that?”

You giggle and mutter, “Not that clumsy.”

“Mhm” He says coyly “all done.”

“Thank you. Do you mind brushing my hair?”

He responds with a kiss on your forehead. Then says,

“Of course sweetheart.”

You smile and hand him the brush. He slips you off the counter so you're standing facing the mirror. He softly takes your hair and begins brushing. He's so gentle with you that you begin to feel sleepy. All of this and you’ve forgotten about the party, and you think he has to. He moves forward to kiss you on the cheek. He places the brush down and begins to zip up your dress. His hand wraps around your waist, and you begin to blush. Once he's done, he hugs your waist and rests his head on your shoulder.

“Do you need help with anything else?” He murmurs.

“Yes, my heels.”

You sit on the bed as he takes your heels and places them carefully on you. He looks up at you and stares.

“Is my makeup messed up? Did all the lipstick come off?” You ask.

“No, you’re just so beautiful. I could stare at you all day.”

“Aren’t we late for the party?” You ask sheepishly.

He looks at you so lovingly. You smile back and lean forward to kiss him on the cheek. He finishes with your heels and lifts you up onto your feet.

He laughs and says, “I forgot about the party. Though, we should get going.”

He holds out his hand for yours, you return the favor and he plants a sweet kiss on the top of it. You both walk to the car and start driving to the bar. In the car you ask,

“Do you think they’ll like me? I mean they’re all agents. I’m kind of boring compared to them.”

“Are you kidding? You’re the most wonderful person I've ever met, you’re beyond interesting. They will love you.”

You smile but still ask, “Are you sure?”

“Way more than sure my love.”

You arrive at the bar relieved to only be 5 minutes late. Spencer holds your hand and smiles at you. You go inside and Spencer looks over and points to a group of people at a table, “That’s them.” He says.

You nod and you both walk over.

“Hey guys.” Spencer says and they all look at him, then immediately look at you. You smile and introduce yourself. You’re surprised to get along with everyone in the group nicely. The man named Derek kept winking at you and Spencer which made you laugh. The women named Emily and JJ kept asking you questions about your life to which you happily answered. A woman named Penelope kept asking you about fashion, which was a delight. Two men Spencer had earlier mentioned named Hotch and Rossi were very happy to meet you. You had a wonderful night.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencerreid #fem!reader x spencer reid #bau #spencer reid imagine #readerxspencerreid #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fluff

[mochie85]

Man of The Month Part 6: June

Series Masterlist My Masterlist @muddyorbsblr Masterlist

Summary: Thor tries to convince you of the appeal of having an Asgardian as a love match. A/N: I wanna thank @lokisgoodgirl for giving me the inspiration for this story. and to @springdandelixn for letting me bounce ideas off of. As well as @muddyorbsblr for the positive push. Pairing: Loki x Reader (eventually) Word Count: 2.8k Warnings: Nudity, Language, bad Google translations.

Thor paced in the common room waiting to be called down. He was twirling Stormbreaker within his palms- the action bringing peace to his mind while he ruminated over the problem at hand.

He trudged along the floor-to-ceiling windows, enjoying the sunlight. Looking down, he could spot some of the adoring public with signs for him, and the other Avengers, at the street level. He smiled and waved as he covertly flexed his biceps to show off. He could hear the faint screams of some of the more ardent fans.

Thor prided himself on his body. He trained and fought hard to get back in shape. Especially after fighting Thanos. Never again will he feel weak and sullen. His people were safe. The world was safe. And his brother- is alive! Now if only Loki would actually live.

He needed to find a way to push his brother into action. The both of you skirted around each other like young adolescents with their first love. Initially, it was cute, but now it was just getting tiresome.

He knew that if Loki wanted something, truly wanted something, he would fight for it. He wouldn’t give up so easily. Thor assumed that Loki would’ve mentioned something about his affection towards you sooner. Especially when the whole photoshoot started, and Stark announced a gentlemanly competition amongst them for your love and affection. He thought that Loki would, in his exaggerated fashion, claim that he loved you more than anyone else on the team and that you were off limits.

So maybe a more hands-on approach was needed. He looked over to Loki who was eyeing the door to your studio all morning. When he finally looked over to Thor. Thor gave him his sweetest smile.

“Do you know whom she fancies, brother?” Thor asked him suspiciously.

“Why would I ever care to think about whom Y/N is attracted to?”

“How do you know I was speaking about Lady Y/N?” Thor raised his eyebrows and goaded him. “I can tell that you care for her Loki. Just admit it.”

“In a platonic manner, yes. I simply care for her as a friend and think that she’s overworking herself for the sake of this insane date-keeper.”

“Thor, you’re up! Scopes asked if I could get you.” Shaun interrupted their conversation.

“Thank you, Master Xu. So, tell me, is she in a good mood today?” Thor asked, a plan hatching in his head.

“Yeah, I suppose so. I had to go in there to make sure she ate. You know how she gets.” Shaun said towards Loki who just clenched his jaw.

“Oh good. She’ll have enough energy for me, then.” Thor said. Loki grew apprehensive by his statement. What could Thor be planning?

Thor stopped pacing and took off his cape, followed by his armor's top leather chest plate. The screams from outside nearly doubled in decibels. His rippling muscles were on display for the two men sitting with him as well as the rabid admirers downstairs. Lightning fizzed in the air as the gentle hum of his power radiated throughout the room.

“Dude. How do you get that muscle right here?” Shawn pointed towards his own body, asking for advice.

“I don’t know, my fellow warrior- work out?” Thor shrugged, clapping his hand on Shaun’s shoulder. Shaun just rolled his eyes.

Thor marched off towards your studio, his smile growing wide as his plans finally came together in his head.

Loki stewed as he watched his brother take his turn with you. His fury was on the verge of exploding. What was his brother planning? He didn’t know what to think when it came to Thor. At first, Loki thought that he would have to fight him for your attention. He didn’t want to admit his feelings for you, especially to Thor. He always manages to get everything Loki desired for himself.

But yesterday, Thor showed great respect in guiding you toward him. That perhaps Thor was helping him in his pursuit of you. But now, it seems the gauntlet has been thrown as Thor unashamedly disrobed and strutted like a peacock toward your studio.

“Lady Y/N?” Thor greeted as he walked through the door.

“In here Thor. On the computer. Are you ready?” You yelled out, finishing the lettering for Scott’s page.

“Almost. You said as naked as we’re comfortable with, yes?” Thor queried.

“Yes…”  his question made you suspicious of what he was planning. You slowly turned the corner, hearing Thor rustle against some of the exercise equipment.

“OH MY GOD, THOR!” You yelled as you quickly covered your eyes to his full-on nakedness. It wasn’t quick enough, however. Your skin blushed and heated as the image burned itself in your mind; Thor standing proud, his sharp and distinct muscles on display as well as his -ahem- well-endowed instrument. You got a full-frontal view of his other hammer.

PENIS! Ohmigod, I saw his Penis! And you were not going to scrub the image away anytime soon.

“While I appreciate the sentiment, Lady Y/N, you do not need to call me your god. I am simply just the god of thunder. But if your exclamation is due to my superior physique, I welcome that whole-heartedly.” He said coming closer to you.

“STOP!” You held your hand out. “Stop where you are. Don’t come any closer.” Your one hand covered your eyes, while the other reached out to ensure he was far away from you.

Your hands felt warm and firm skin. Trying to figure out what you were touching without looking, you ventured your hands north, not wanting to accidentally touch Mjolnir. You peeked through the open slits of your fingers and realized you were touching his hard pecs.

“It’s all right, milady. You can look. We Asgardians don’t have those predilections to modesty as your people here in Midgard. We are open about our sexuality and propriety. You should have seen some of the more robust gatherings we’ve had in the past. Even Loki…”

“…And I’m gonna stop you right there.” You interrupted him holding your finger out to his lips.

“But I was just going to say that Loki…”

“Shhh!”

“Loki…”

“AJZZZZSSSSHHH! Shh! Stay. Right. Here. Thor. Okay? I’m gonna need a moment.” You left him in the studio, not looking back.

All Thor wanted to do was recount how Loki would be the center of attention at these bacchanalias’ revels back on Asgard. Thor’s plan was to show you that Asgardians aren’t as prudish as the Midgardians here usually are. He was going to narrate all the stories that made Loki legendary back home. Surely, Thor could’ve validated Loki’s readiness and eagerness to please a woman such as yourself. He would’ve attempted to make Loki appear as voracious and capable so that you would want to copulate with him that much sooner.

It was a foolproof plan. Why, in all the nine realms, would you deliberately push this opportunity away? Maybe she doesn’t like him back?

You walked out of the studio and slammed the door behind you. You pinched your shirt and attempted to get air through your neck as your skin continued to flush. You slid down the wall and sat in the hallway, waiting for your breath to catch you. You knew you were gonna see some things during this whole ordeal. You did not expect it to be Thor’s. And you certainly did not expect it to be that – godly.

“Darling?” Oh, holy hell! “Are you all right?” Loki’s voice settled in your ears and brought about a new pink hue throughout your body. You looked up and watched him crouch down to you. “You look uneasy. Has my brother done something?” Loki stretched out his hand and felt your forehead with the back of his fingers. The coolness of his skin sent shivers down your spine as the nearness of him heated up your core, causing you to sweat, embarrassingly so, in front of him.

“I…um…I just needed a moment. Y-your brother is in there. Naked.” You swallowed.

“He’s what?!”

“Fully naked. I saw everything.”

“Did he attempt anything? Did he hurt you?” Loki said with a simmering rage as he stood up and walked towards your studio door.

“No. No. No. Loki. It’s fine.” You said as you grabbed his hand to try and stop him. He looked down into your eyes and then at your joined hands. “He was just exuberant about the shoot. That’s all.” Loki helped you stand up, carrying you to your feet. His jaw tightened as he relished the feel of your delicate fingers in his hands.

All too soon, you took them away, not wanting to make him feel more uncomfortable than he already is.

“I apologize for my brother, Lady Y/N. Sometimes, he requires adult supervision.” Loki tried to conceal his hurt at your reluctance to hold his hand. “Would you like me to stay with you?”

“You’d do that?”

“There’s nothing else I would rather do. Of course, to watch over Thor.” Loki amended.

“Right. Of course. To watch over Thor.” You agreed.

No sooner had the two of you gone inside the studio, that Loki threw a towel at Thor’s face. “Will you cover yourself up, you brute!”

“Loki!” Thor yelled with excited glee. Maybe my plan worked after all, Thor thought. “I’m so glad you could join us brother. Although, why are you here?” Thor questioned as his eyes darted back and forth between you.

“Go on, darling. I will make sure he is proper by the time you finish your preparations.” Loki whispered into your ear. You left to get your camera set up quickly, wanting this particular shoot to be over and done with. “I was outside waiting to hear of your turn and what do I see? Y/N! Running out of her studio acting faint as if she’s seen Yggdrasil itself.” Loki whispered angrily in Thor’s ear.

“Truth be told, brother…” Thor gave him a look, raising his eyebrows. “…I mean…” Thor said pointing towards himself. “They don’t call me The Mighty Thor for nothing.”

“Pray to our father, Thor, that I don’t beat you mercilessly right now. It is by the grace of that lovely woman that I spare your life. What exactly are you trying to pull?”

“Oh, come off it, Loki. I’m on your side. I was going to tell her of your capabilities. I was going to promote your virile sensibilities and your voracious appetites. I mentioned our past exploits and the orgies we used to have back on Asgard.” Thor said clapping his brother’s shoulder. Loki’s eyes grew big with malice and shock. “If that doesn’t appeal to her, then nothing will,” Thor said winking as he put on a pair of shorts.

“You WHAT?” Loki yelled in anger.

“Thor…are you covered?” You said coming back into the room and looking down.

“Oh, he’s covered all right,” Loki grumbled through gritted teeth.

“Oh good. Ok (phew). Thor, why don’t we start with some simple shots of you standing there?”

“Wherever you want, Milady.” Thor happily obliged, standing and posing in whatever way you thought was best. Loki stood behind you, trying not to let his rage get the best of him.

Thor embarrassed him! In front of you! The misinformation, the lies, and fabricated images in your head will surely turn your favor against him. There was only one thing to do. Retaliation.

You took some snapshots of Thor, not really looking at the viewfinder or at the preview window of your camera. You were focused on getting him posed and standing still for more than a couple of seconds. Handling Thor was like handling a four-year-old hopped up on sugar and juice with ice cream to spare. So you had him burn off his extra energy on the workout equipment you had set up.

When you did decide to look through your viewfinder, you were confused. Is it the lighting? Is it- is it Thor? “Um, let’s take a couple more pictures, Thor. Maybe ones with you on in a different light.” Thor happily obliged, smiling at his brother. Loki only pulled a side of his lip up in anger.

You continued to look through your camera. Angry and confused. You kept looking back at Thor, then at your camera, then back at Thor. It was like you were capturing two different people. Maybe it will look better on the computer.

“How did they turn out, Lady Scopes? Did you capture my physique? The essence that is THOR?”

“I, um, captured something. Although, I don’t know if it’s me or maybe…” Thor came around the computer to see what your reluctance was about. As the pictures loaded on the screen one by one, Thor got angrier and angrier.

Each picture of him resembled that of what Stark liked to call ‘The Lebowski.’ His definition, his arms, his physique, all rolled together into a shapeless form of what he used to look like.

“LOKIIIIII!!!!!” Thor yelled next to you, making you cover your ears. “What?!” Loki growled back. “Change them back this instant!” “No.” “Why would you attack me like this brother?”

“Why would you embarrass me in front of…Why would you embarrass me?!”

“I did no such thing.” “Did too!” “Did not!” “Did Too!” “Did Not!” “DID TOO!” “DID NOT!”

“BOYS!” you yelled out. “That’s enough!” Both men looked at you, stunned. Only their mother could get both of them to stop arguing like that- with a firm, and resolute command.

“Sorry.” They both apologized in unison.

“I appreciate the apology. But what you both need to do, is apologize to each other. Thor, you embarrassed Loki and that wasn’t very nice.” Although you had no idea what he would be embarrassed about. Perhaps, it was the fact that Thor’s behavior was uncouth to him. “And Loki, it wasn’t nice to remind your brother of a very delicate time in his life. Now, say sorry to each other.” Both men looked each other in the eye and they apologized.  “Jeg mente bare at du skulle komme inn i hennes gode nåder, Loke. Jeg støtter deg. Jeg vil at du skal være lykkelig.” (I only meant for you to get into her good graces, Loki. I am on your side. I only wish for you to be happy.) Thor said in Norwegian.

“Din intensjoner er gode, bror. Men, for kjærligheten av Alfǫðr, la meg klare dette selv!” (I can see that your intentions are good, brother. But for the love of the All-father, let me handle this myself!) Loki pleaded. Thor nodded his head in agreement. “Og jeg skal gjenopprette bildene dine. Jeg lover.” (And I will restore your photos. I promise.) Loki answered back in the same language, flicking his hand, and restoring the photos to their original grandeur.

You had no idea what was said. Only that the two gods shook hands. “Milady,” Loki said with a bow. “I should take my leave now. I feel like I’ve given you more work than I’ve actually helped. Plus, I don’t think Thor needs any more adult supervision,” He chuckled.

“Oh. Ok. Goodbye Loki. Thank you for your help today.” Before he left the door, you caught up to him and said, “You know, if you ever want to just come by, you’re more than welcome here.”

“Truly?” he asked amazed. His heart lightened and fluttered at your invitation.

“Ya, I mean. You certainly helped that one time with Scott. And now with Thor. I think I could use an assistant,” you smiled up at him.

“Thank you. I shall have to think about it. But just know, that I am always here if you need me,” he smiled. You nodded and turned the corner, back towards your computer, before Loki could register the happy dance you were doing internally.

“I saw that!” Thor said, surprising you from your reverie. “You like him!”

“Shhh!”

“You like my brother!” Thor exclaimed giddy and elated! “I knew it! I knew it!”

“Keep it down Thor!” You tried to silence him. You didn’t know if Loki had left your studio already, but you would be embarrassed to know if he heard anything.

“I overheard Xu and Lang talking about my brother’s fondness for you. It was quite evident to most of the team. I don’t see why my brother doesn’t see it.”

“Thor. There is no way. Those two are just making stuff up. Gossiping chicken heads.”

“But you like him. Admit it.”

“Thor, please. I’d rather keep my wits intact. I Like him. I do. Too much.” Even though you said that last line under your breath, Thor’s godly hearing still caught it. “But I’m not…”

“If you finish that sentence with something negative about yourself, dear Y/N, I will be forced to have Banner do those weekly talks with you about feelings and thoughts.”

“Ok. I won’t.” You smiled up at him.

“Du er like blind som Loke.” (You’re just as blind as Loki.)

@alexs1200 @a-witch-with-words @athalialaufeyson @britishserpent @cakesandtom @crimson25 @el-zef @fictive-sl0th @gigglingtigger @glitterylokislut @goldencherriess @holymultiplefandomsbatman @huntress-artemiss @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @immersed-in-mischief @kellatron55 @kikster606 @kkdvkyya @lokidbadguy @lokiprompts @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @lokisninerealms @lokischambermaid @lokyxryss @loopsisloops @lucylaufeyson3 @luvlady-writes @michelleleewise @mischief2sarawr @nopenottodayson @one-oblivious-nerd @ozymdias @peaches1958 @salempoe @sarahscribbles @sarawr-reads @silverfire475 @theaudacitytowrite @thedistractedagglomeration @thomase1 @starktowerrooftop @vickie5446 @vbecker10 @wheredafandomat @xorpsbane  

#calendar #man of the month #Marvel men #men of marvel #calendar fic #collaboration #loki fanfic #loki fluff #mcu #loki laufeyson #loki fandom #tom hiddleston fanfic #loki x you #loki oneshot #loki x reader #marvel fanfic #loki series

[olderthannetfic]

Now I'm at the point where I think if someone in the queer community is trying to tell women, femmes, afab people/whoever to stop enjoying BL, they also need to be consistent and tell all queer men to stop doing drag because they both engage with gender in the same way.

Everything those folks tell afab people [they're 1) capitalizing on male queerness without any of the struggles that come along with it or 2) depicting x identity without authenticity or 3) it's not #ownvoices/representation or 4) it's using stereotypes of x group that have historically harmed them] also apply to queer men who do drag in terms of them exploiting women for entertainment. Women are a marginalized group in society; that's a fact. A cis queer man will never truly understand what it's like to be a woman. A cis drag queen will likely never have to know what it's like to be constantly told from infancy your body and sexuality just exist for men. Your interests in fashion or makeup or academics are just for men. [By this logic, a cis woman could reasonably find an issue with a cis man then taking this aspect of personal and societal struggle and bastardizing it for entertainment/humor when women every day are killed, harassed, and attacked for not performing femininity for men.] Cis drag queens also use stereotypes of femininity as punchlines or jokes in this escapism when the ones who have to deal with the fallout in society are women. Drag queens are no more "representation" for women than BL characters are for queer men. No one goes to a drag show if that's what they want, and drag queens shouldn't be expected to do that, just like afab BL creators shouldn't be forced to conform to what anyone thinks is "good representation" for queer men. No queer man has been hurt by BL, just like no cis woman has been hurt by drag. Let's be consistent.

Now, is it also true that there are a lot of nonbinary and trans women who do drag as a way to express their gender? Yes. Are they likely the majority of drag queens? No. So, how would we decide who can appropriate aspects of the female experience? We can't. The same goes for afab BL fans and creators. Yeah, lots are trans or nonbinary, but it's ridiculous to expect everyone to out themselves or write a biographical manifesto to justify their tastes in entertainment. Are there drag queens who are misogynistic? Yes, the most famous example is RuPaul. Does this apply to all? No. Just like BL fans and homophobia.

However, everyone knows that talk of getting rid of drag queens is a common talking point of conservatives. This talk around afab BL fans should be considered in the same way.

--

Huzzah!

I've pointed this out many times. Hell, I've seen a blog post from a BL type author who is leery of women writing BL that pointed out the same thing and came to a similar conclusion.

One of the more interesting commentaries on the cis gay male culture aspects of all this was in David Halperin's How to be Gay. Either I'm misremembering, or the kindle price has dropped from academic book horror levels to something more acceptable, at least to my US eye. ($14.16 currently) I highly recommend it.

He uses the word 'appropriation' to talk about what drag queens do, though he doesn't mean it in a "and that is obviously universally bad" way. He explicitly addresses the fact that some women will find drag misogynist, and that's okay. It's okay that they feel this way. It's okay that a subculture makes art for a particular audience that may be offputting or disturbing to other audiences.

The book is about a lot more than just drag. It goes into all of that cis gay male culture like loving The Golden Girls and venerating tragic women of classic Hollywood. I have sometimes, as a woman, felt almost like I was tresspassing on gay men's territory to love Joan Crawford and her ilk. Which, if you think about it, is fucking nuts.

Halperin doesn't talk about BL at all, at least not in that book, but his observations are like a mirror of fandom and inform a lot of how I look at #ownvoices.

The book is based on a class he taught with that same joke title. The point was that he did not find the performance of normative US cis gay male culture ("What a dump!", Golden Girls love, etc.) to be at all natural. He had to learn it. All his friends laughed about how he was the last guy to teach anyone "how to be gay".

Anyway, as he taught the class, he noticed something that shocked him: students were connecting with The Golden Girls and campy, queer-coded old Broadway plays much more than with the direct, literal representation, even when that representation was on Broadway in a similar tone and type of media.

The book is his exploration of why. To boil it down: gay men were seeking things that felt true internally, not externally. They were often identifying with situations and dynamics or with all of the characters. They didn't necessarily want to be told "Here's your self insert! Now relate!" It's full of the same kind of talk of critical distance that oldschool slash meta engages in.

I actually have a whole long meta piece about this: What I Want is To(o) Direct.

I got the idea after reading Halperin and bounced up to Francesca Coppa at a con to blather about it. She was like "Oh, I just wrote a book chapter on that." That chapter is: Slash/Drag: Appropriation and Visibility in the Age of Hamilton. You can find it in A Companion to Media Fandom and Fan Studies.

Drag is great, but I hate the misogynist attitude that men can borrow from women to express their oppression or their interior worlds metaphorically, but women cannot borrow from men for the same purpose.

The inevitable transphobia that comes with strict policing of either is just the cherry on an already towering shit sundae.

[speedierthanasubmarine]

I decided to watch helluva boss and imma do 2 separate posts for seasons 1 and two (why did I write it like that…?)

Season one

God I love this show. The writing is way more my speed than Hazbin hotel on Amazon, I enjoyed the writing in the pilot, but once Amazon took over the humor just didn’t really land for me, and tbh the plot took over and I started focusing more on that, and in general I’m more partial to the rapid fire YouTube dry comedy and this sentence is a friggin mess- I found HB SO FREAKIN FUNNY

Dude when he goes “FUCK, a new hole” I lost it

“Just try and sue us”

“We’re rich and we’re hot”

“I can just buy all the things!”

“You should commit die”

“Hehe, Trumpet!”

These are just my kinda lines, I don’t know how to explain it, I was wheezing all throughout the season

The music OH LORD when I say I’ve listened to stolas’s lullabye, lulu land, cotton candy, and house of ozmodius like 100000 times I’m… exaggerating but like you get the point the music here is friggin fantastic I also really like how a lot of the music is diegetic, I think that’s a fun touch. I don’t remember whether this is the case in Hazbin, but in this one it was like… I don’t know, it made sense that they were singing when they were singing… am I articulating myself well? I don’t care, iykyk if not, no prob

The animation is great, Viv loves them spinny shots and I am here for it. The amount of genuinely amazing action scenes is super impressive, and even the chill scenes have a ton of personality

The voice acting might be what steals the show for me, idrk anyone’s names cept Alex Brightman but BLITZS VA NEEDS AN AWARD, also slight tangent but I don’t know what it is with stolas’s va but he sounds a lot like a bird in the same sense that Gary Oldman sounded a lot like a bird in Kung Fu Panda 2, what is it that casting directors recognize in actors that screams bird?! Because both of these men are just SO BIRD DOES ANYONE GET WHAT I MEAN moving on, Ozzie’s voice was also effing PERFECT it slid silkily over me like… silk butter or smtg it was the perfect lust voice, I loved it. Everyone else was also great, but they were extra great.

It was also just so fun? Like in hazbin there’s very little just… shenanigans to enjoy, nothing wrong with that because it’s not that type of show, whereas this season is jam packed with them. Like I’ve heard that everyone hated episode 4, but like I don’t know I loved it😆 I just found it to be good old fashioned chicanery, and I liked the chaos and stupidity of it, made for some entertaining TV. This story engine is just mad entertaining for me.

I also enjoyed the writing of most of the characters (Millie, Moxxie, Loona, and Octavia still leave a bit to be desired imo, but whatever, they can’t all be winners and there’s nothing wrong with them) Blitz kinda reminds me of a Barney Stinson type character, which I really enjoy, and I also really like how his boss persona kinda infects everything he does while simultaneously being what’s screwing him over, his nature is kinda like a snake swallowing its own tail, which is tragic and beautiful, and Stolas compliments him well by being, not an enabler, but… I don’t know a clever way to say this… Stolas is a wreck in the best way and he just works. He’s short sighted, like extremely so, like how he thinks sleeping with Blitz will fill his emotional void so he does it but it just drives them further apart so it’s like he’s in a hole and in order to get out he’s gonna dig to pile up dirt so he can climb out but he’s an idiot and that’s a stupid idea and I loved his whole arc. Very enjoyable stuff drama.

Kinda random but whoever Viv’s foli artist is also deserves an award, the sound effects in this show are pristine and it’s incredible (yes I’ve seen the scene where the gun sounds go off a few seconds too late, and yeah, mistakes happen, but every bone crunch sounds and other stuff like that being so enunciated in an indie show is extremely impressive)

Anyhoo, very fun, very emotional, nice to look at, very funny, yada yada- altogether great season 1.

#ash #thoughts #helluva boss #blitzo #blitz #stolas #stolitz #helluva boss ozzie #helluva blitzo #helluva stolas #helluva loona #helluva fizzarolli #helluvaverse #helluva millie #helluva moxxie #helluva asmodeus #musings #season 1 #testing a theory

[daisychains111]

incorrect chb camper quotes but it's actually just my sister's quotebook from Twitter

Disclaimer: This post is gonna be LONG AF

Percy: "Ahh, die quieter"

Clarisse to Silena: "Do I look majestic?"

Will: "I live in America. Cultures?... casserole"

Nico: "At-home lobotomy"

Baby Nico to Clarisse: "You look like Harry Potter, You just need a scar black hair, different clothes, and to be a boy. "

Annabeth:"I don't know if I have enough sanity for 2 Holy books"

Leo: "I've seen titties before....not really in person, but yk"

Annabeth: "Do you have ears?"

Jason: "I kinda wanna work at Taco Bell"

Piper: "I've never been passive-aggressive in my life"

Will to Apollo: "There's no batteries in my butt Dad I'm not a robot"

Clarisse: "I'm not upset I don't hold grudges"

Ares to Clarisse: "I don't like your clothes it forces me to look at you"

Frank to Leo: "It's not 'drip' it's stupid"

Travis to the whole Hermes Cabin: "I'm the Rizzington bear... like Paddington bear but Rizz" (after his 1st date with Katie)

Nico: "I love Olive Garden, I wish Italians were real"

Rachel: "Come on, you guys stop trying to cockblock the view"

Katie: "If people can smoke weed in the middle of the day, then I can drink chamomile tea"

Rachel: "You don't want to piss me off I'm witewally a werewolf"

Piper about Jason: "All my friends are boys, and one just died... he would have made a great bridesmaid"

Frank: "I was doing a silly but the funny didn’t land"

Jason: "Why am I white"

Rachel: "I am not a whore, I am a celibate queen!"

Drew: "It's not the fashion statement that you think it is"

Nico about the Ares Cabin: "They're gonna call you a slur, but they're gonna be really nice about it"

Piper to Annabeth: "If we both think it, it's not bitchy"

Grover: "I'm just gonna write a paragraph or two about global warming"

Annabeth"I have like a 7th-grade reading level!!! (this is impressive when you're dyslexic)

Jason: "Dude I love yoga"

Will: "They say that Utah is the promise land"

Kayla: *explains what a text-fic is to grandparents (Apollo)*

Clarisse: "Put that on your Twitter!" *points knife at me*

Travis: "Do you eat?"

Katie: "...um yes?"

Travis: "Oh, I mean do you want to eat." (when he asked Katie out the first time)

Hazel: "That's not gonna change my heart. That's just gonna make me cry!"

Alabaster: "I wanna find someone somewhere to impregnate and then steal the baby......Where's your Twitter, that was kinda funny"

Percy about Leo: "I would spoon that man so hard"

Frank: "The closer I get to nature, the closer I get to being a werewolf"

Apollo: "I feel like Jaba the Hut"

Rachel: "It's because you ate girl dinner"

Apollo (same convo^)"I fell asleep, and I woke up, and I ate a girl dinner, and I didn't feel that good"

Percy: Don't mind me just cleaning the ocean" *hand angrily on hip*

Will to the Stolls: "Although my bellybutton was once my mouth I don't want soda in it!!"

Connor: "Look at how majestic I am"

Clarisse: *gasps* *throws uno cards* "This is communism at its finest, and I hate your life." *Is losing* "All I'm doing is humoring you now. There is no reason for me to play anymore." *throws cards* *again*

Nico: *passes out*

Will: "We need to take you to the doctor like right now."

Nico: "No fireworks are more important than my health"

Leo about Percy: "That's a pretty boy right there... if we were in prison, it's over."

Kayla when Will came out to her: "Slay motherfucker"

Annabeth: "I hope to not run over any old ladies...old men are fair game tho."

Percy: "Main characters get bullied, Jesus....yep!"

Leo: "What if I was an astronaut!!!!"

Travis: "Banana, Banana, Meatball"

Clarisse: "I am going to break your toe shut the hell up"

Katie to Connor: "I hope you get bullied in high school."

Clarisse about Leo: "This guy's a fuckin goober"

Clarisse: "What did you do to your sweatshirt? Did you get hungry?"-Grover: *sighs*

Nyssa (Hephaestus kid) to Leo: "Dont hurt me. I'm Batman!.... You better not tweet that"

Kayla to Apollo: "It's called multi-tasking Apollo! "

Apollo: "It's mother to you"

Clarisse: "I could fight God and win"

Percy: "So you wanna fight rn"

Clarisse: "No, I'm good"

Jason; "You look gang"

Leo: "What? I look gay!?!?!"

Jason: "You look straight, but nice"

Leo: "Oh... thanks!"

Apollo to Rachel"Lie, deny, cry, and for good measure be a raging slut."

Silena: "There's all kinds of nature out here"

Katie: "Live, laugh, love, low iron"

Annabeth to Piper: "Keep backing up...Cuz you have a fear of commitment

Lou Ellen to Katie: "Does your knee affect your shoe size... or are your feet just that small??"

Travis: "The amount of testosterone in me, peanuts are allergic to me!"

Leo: "I'm cracked up on feeling sexy"

Connor to the whole Hermes Cabin: "The "10" of us? our parents sp*rm pets"

Apollo about Athena: "OH gods, a single mom"

Apollo about Kayla's dad: "I cheated on myself with a man"

Malcolm about Athena: "She's a mom boogie woogie woogie"

Nico: "I cried at Chick-fil-A the other day"

Nico: "Live, laugh, lobotomy."

Drew about Thalia: "She has no friends and a dead brother."

Katie: "I wrote fanfiction on my i-pod touch"

Lacy to Leo: "Was it a tech? or was it a human?"

Will: "Live, laugh, love, tampons"

Kayla: "Die, cry, hate, condoms"

Aphrodite to Clarisse: "Do you like being a girl? You just always wear pants"

Percy: "Chill I know how to make conversations I have Rizz"

Will: "What! no! cow!"

Frank: "Fvcking knock it off seriously you guys are acting like children!!"

Travis to Lou Ellen: "Yesss pussy-pop you slayed"

Ashlyn (Hermes kid): "Chick-fil-A is mid, Taco bell is where it's at"

Percy during tlt: "You couldn't even buy a gumball with that shit (drachmas)"

Percy (same convo ^): "A quarter? You could buy a gumball with that shit"

Nico: "Your soul and your money!"

Tyson: "You've seen fishes, fishes move fast"

Leo to Frank: "What the fvck is a kilometer"

Leo making fun of Frank: "Mua ha ha ha I'm Canadian"

Percy: "Jesus didn't give up his life he gave up his weekend"

*as seen at 2am in the Apollo Cabin*

Gracie: "You're discriminating against me"

April (the token straight): "It's cuz she's gay"

Will: "We're all gay."

Nico: You don't have any slurs about you."

Leo: "No because I'm perfect"

this was fun to make lol....there will probably be a part 2 but like far in the future. if you made it this far I love you....also if you don't recognize names it's bc I deep-dived Wiki to find canon names for each cabin.

If y'all want one-shots based on these TELL ME I NEED STUFF TO WRITE ABOUT

#percabeth #percy jackon and the olympians #percy and annabeth #annabeth chase #percy jackson #camp half blood #hazel pjo #nico di angelo #travis stoll #connor stoll #tratie #katie gardner #lou ellen blackstone #will solace #jason grace #lacy pjo #leo valdez #frank zhang #drew tanaka #heros of olympus #hermes cabin #rachel elizabeth dare #rachel x connor #twitter #incorrect quotes #piper mclean #trails of apollo #riordanverse #rick riordan #hazel levesque

[vegasandhishedgehog]

Fuck this, I wasn't tagged by anybody but since y'all are making me insane sharing your lovely faves on my dash I gotta join the fun!

10 BL People That I Want Carnally

Just so we're clear, I'm immediately not limiting myself to 10. I'm bi. You think we have limits? (Tumblr says yes, but that's why I'm on desktop for this instead of mobile)

Night from Dirty Laundry

Are we surprised? This awakened a whole thing in me. I was constantly yelling from the rooftops about my love for this man in the cheapest drag you ever saw. This is my JAM. I'm already trying to calm myself down making the first entry on this post. GOD. And his whole committed-to-the-bit romancing a mafia leader and then robbing her because he needs money, but really he's a wee romantic who just wants to write exciting stories like all of us bitches on AO3? Honey I am FREE at 5pm on Saturday. Also, shush, I know it's not a BL, I'm counting it as part of the Midnight Series as a whole :P

Yok from Not Me

PAINT ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR POLICE OFFICERS. We already have matching tattoos babe. He isn't perfect but he's a well-intentioned mama's boy and has swagger.

Maya from Laws of Attraction

Listen, I don't think much explaining is necessary here. I'm a woman but she can call me "pretty boy" any day. Is she just Silvy Pavida with a MILF wife? Yeah. That's the point. I'll join. They would let me.

Speaking of Laws of Attraction, Nawin

I deserve an insane golden retriever boyfriend. I deserve a man who can't spell his ex's name but can get a pilot's license. He deserves someone who will enable his silliness, even when there's trouble with the accountant. *kisses all over his wing tattoo*

Togawa from Old Fashion Cupcake

Mr. Hamster Cheeks my love <3 The dates would be so good. And so would the food. And the food naps afterward. I'm a good snuggler, he's tall and there's a lot to snuggle. Win-win.

Ink from Bad Buddy

I know many of us are weak for Milk Pansa, but like, there's a reason for that. She gave us the ICON for lesbian side couples. Please, girl, scare men away from me when they mistake a boner for full-fledged love. Make me feel welcome and important and pretty and like I'm the specialest girl alive. Be taller than me ;)

Wen Qing from The Untamed

She didn't die, actually, we just eloped together, haha. I just think as someone who studied medicine, she'd have a lot of good tricks up her sleeve and I don't mean acupuncture needles.

Saifah from Enchanté

Yeah. I needed to use this gif. Get that record deal my man. Live your dreams king. I also love that he's both the old man and woman here. Impeccable. We deserved more of him.

Uea from Bed Friend

Gimme this catboy realness right now. Also, I just love him so much. He owns his narrative despite all the shit he has suffered and gets everything he deserves for it. We could be besties even. We could be...no I shan't say it.

SamMon from GAP

I just want whatever is going on right here. Let me join. Simple as that.

Tops and Marwin from Ingredients

I'm this guy. Except I think they'd be sad to see the other with someone else so I gotta have them one at a time. Tops, who's a shy cutie who can make yummy foods. And Marwin, who is basically Jeff Satur just pumped with extra himboisms.

Todd from Not Me

All principles out the window. He's evil, he's sexy. I know exactly how much that specific hotel room costs to stay in for a night. It would be luxurious.

Rain from Love In The Air

I know most people would say Phayu, and for Boss, yeah I understand, I am all there. But something about the way that little guy can fuck kinda makes me dizzy, I'm owning that. He doesn't have to be smart, he's just gotta be given compliments. Plus, my bed sheets match!

VegasPete from KinnPorsche

They altered me chemically once and I'd let 'em do it a second time and many more after that.

Tagging @kissporsche @thisautistic @omegaphobe @shubaka @risu442 @khathastrophe @loveable-sea-lemon @fawndlyvenus @viva-yas-vegas @first-kanaphan @wherelanguage-ends @xxatlasxx @adanima @snake-and-mouse @scarefox @scattered-stardust @callipigio @sparklyeyedhimbo @jdotsodomite @futureexmrsmalcolm @suzteel @jeffsatyr @coconuts-mafia

#I really come across like i'm really into threesomes here for being such an asexual virgin #and what of it #maybe i'll get into that #i'm capable of whatever i want #this was really fun #i hit a lot of bases i think

[convenientalias]

West Out of Yu Men/Parallel World Review

Bc I just finished watching it yesterday!

I really liked it :D

I think it had a very unique aesthetic. It's set in the desert or in cities located near the desert for the most part, and you really feel it. The characters don't always look like they're hot, but there's always a dry, gritty feeling to the air. The fashion, tooo, was pretty unique. Ye Liuxi is very rough and tumble action girl with a little bit of sexy thrown in; Chang Dong mostly dresses kind of generic, practical and understated; Ding Liu dresses kind of cutesy-garish, loosening up both in attitude and in fashion as the show progresses; and then everyone in the parallel world dresses like they're in some historical fantasy with a touch of apocalyptic. So that's all just fun to watch. I love when a show has a unique visual feel to it.

In terms of plot, the show is a little wandering and not super tight, but that makes sense for a show about two characters both investigating a mystery and traveling through a different world. It's about discovery, meeting people and seeing wonders--eventually with some political intrigue as well. I honestly wish it could have been a little longer. Give it another five episodes, and I think we could have tied up some loose ends and gotten a more satisfying ending for a couple characters (specifically I'm thinking of Gao Shen and Jiang Zhan, but even Liuxi... well, I could watch several hours more of just Liuxi lols).

The acting was all pretty good. I have to admit I was not equally invested in all characters. This is definitely the Ye Liuxi show. Everyone else can be as cool and complex as they want, but we're all here to watch Ni Ni beat people up, open up portals, drive through the desert, cut melons, flirt obnoxiously, make threats, and so on and so forth. Previously I had only seen Ni Ni in The Rise of Phoenixes, and she's good in that but more of a trickster character, clever but not exactly intimidating. I love seeing an actress in a role where she's really allowed to dominate everyone around her, and I hadn't known Ni Ni would be so good at that. Now I want to finish watching The Rise of Phoenixes at some point but I don't know if I'll feel disappointed seeing her in a role that's less absolutely tyrannical.

The other lead actor is of course Bai Yu.

Tumblrites probably know him as Guardian's Zhao Yunlan, which is also where I first saw him. In this show he's much more subdued and serious, which I think is necessary to counter such a powerful presence as Ni Ni's Liuxi. He and Ni Ni have great chemistry. It's less sexy and flirty, and more familiar and comfortable, though slow-won. There's one scene where Liuxi pokes a brooding Chang Dong with a stick until he takes the end of it, and when he lets go of it she pokes him until he holds it again, and they just sit together in silence. For me, that's kind of what their relationship is about. They understand each other and offer each other comfort and support. At the same time, they have a strong sense of physicality for a cdrama. Again, not necessarily in a sexual way, but Liuxi is the kind of person who will just drape herself on someone, hook an arm over their shoulder, rub legs like an obnoxious and kind of sexy cat... it adds to the warmth of their relationship. (Though I would also have been fine seeing the two remain platonic, but as ships go, it's rather nice.)

That said. This show also had a couple ships it did not need! Gao Shen/Ding Liu is okay but underdeveloped and kind of just background noise; Fei Tang/A He is where I enter "okay, so now you just need to pair up EVERYONE" territory. None of the ships were annoying exactly, but apart from Liuxi/Chang Dong, I just feel like you could have left them out and you wouldn't lose much. If you're going to include them, give them some damn development! That's all I can say on the matter.

I enjoyed the villains a lot. There's a variety here: Some typical shady bureaucrats, a scheming woman to serve as Liuxi's foil and rival, and a man from Liuxi's past who has a complicated relationship with her. My favorite was the last of these three, Jiang Zhan! And I won't give more spoilers than that but can I just say: Jiang Zhan deserved better!!! Will someone please write hurt-comfort fic for my boy!!

Anyway! I recommend West Out of Yu Men if:

-You like Ni Ni or Bai Yu and want to see them doing something a bit different.

-You would be interested in an atmosphere of urban fantasy meets desert epic.

-You want to see a woman playing the amnesiac "chosen one" warrior trope (and with flair).

-You like to see an ensemble go on a road trip, gathering members along the way and getting into magical shenanigans. (If you HATE road trips, though--not a reason to skip. Travel is an aspect but there's still plenty of plot to go around.)

-You want to see Ni Ni cut a melon with a big knife (you can get this in episode one. Just one episode to appreciate the glorious THUNK of a melon being cut with a large knife).

You can also watch it if you want to write fanfic for it to satisfy my current cravings for 1) femslash and 2) anything about Jiang Zhan. (I haven't talked about the possible femslash ships bc they are pretty much my imagination but Ding Liu is very cutesy and friendly with Liuxi and also that female villain I was talking about above HATES Liuxi in a way that is quite fun, so. There's that.)

Now I have to find another badass woman show to satisfy that particular mood. If you have any recs along those lines, let me know ;)

#west out of the yumen #parallel world #cdrama #cdrama review

[sapphire-weapon]

I think people tend to ignore Leon fucking up (like with Shen May), because they have the mindset of "oh no, that's my favourite character! So he can't do anything wrong or have any flaws!" It's such a limiting way to think. I mean, I really like Leon too, but I'll openly say that he often gives me the fucking ick, lmao. The Shen May scene had me recoiling. Man's a stereotype of "that creepy guy at the bar" and he exudes that a LOT. I'm glad he was turned down. Even the characters we love need to be humbled when they're full of shit, because it's realistic and interesting. It's okay to think outside of the caveman "he good! no bad!"

Also, tacking on, because despite it being a different topic, I may as well stick to a singular ask. Jilleon is such a weird concept to me, lmao. I think for the most part it's treated pretty lightheartedly, but I'm confused because I couldn't really identify where it came from, other than that they're both attractive. I love Jill, but I don't see her reciprocating any attraction. Like, remotely. They get along fine, but I can't even see a close friendship. Maybe I'm biased though, cause I love her and as much as I enjoy Leon, dear god above he doesn't need another love interest. Also Capcom please just grow your balls and properly address Valenfield. We all know they're either a couple or have been pining for several decades.

I'm not gonna lie, if OG Leon asked me out, I'd have told him I had a boyfriend, too. Or maybe just even told him I wasn't interested in men all together. His approach is so... old-fashioned in a bad way. It's evidence that his development was arrested in 1998; he hasn't matured past that point, so he thinks that it's still a thing to just go up to a cute girl and ask for her number right after getting her name.

So like. I'm not surprised that it's pretty much exclusively early 20s and younger ppl who don't think he's trying to ask her on an actual date, because no one does that shit anymore. That was already out of fashion by the time I was in high school, even, and I entered high school in 2003.

But for any tiny childrens who are reading this: yes this is literally how relationships would start in the 80s and 90s. Out of nowhere and on a whim between complete strangers and just hoping it works.

Re: jilleon

Prior to Death Island, I would have agreed with you. 100% I didn't understand what the basis for it was, and I didn't think she'd be interested in him at all.

Then I watched Death Island. And I'm 85% sure that they've already slept together LMAO Chris dropped the ball between RE5 and DI, and Leon just kind of slid in there and took his shot and actually seems to have made it???

If I'm not mistaken, Jill is the only person other than Remake Ashley in the entire series who actually laughs at Leon's jokes. And she actually gets him to laugh out loud in return -- which is almost unheard of for him.

They just seem very comfortable around each other in general. Jill seems more at ease in his presence than she's been in Chris's since... Lost in Nightmares? And Leon is definitely more comfortable being with her than he is being with Ada or Claire. Like, Jill seems as comfy as a presence for Leon as Chris and Ashley are.

I just really like their dynamic in general. I don't think of them as romantic, but I see them as very, very good friends who just fuck every once in a while.

Like, Chris is still Leon's best friend, but their relationship is a lot more intense. But Jill is the person that Leon first thinks to call when he needs to nerd out about movies or to just bullshit in general. And then every so often, a text message conversation happens like:

"Gonna be in DC for a weekend for BSAA shit. Pick me up from the airport?"

"Sure. What hotel?"

"Staying with a friend actually idk if you know him. Leon Kennedy? In the DSO. Brown hair, blue eyes, giant cock?"

"Never heard of him. Sounds like he's in for a fun weekend though."

#resident evil #leon kennedy #jill valentine #jilleon