#i've always considered myself an introvert

[avaritia-ffxiv]

We (the FC I joined w/ Ash and moved Saahe to) continued extremes on Saturday, and cleared Garuda, Titan, and Ifrit again for a few people who weren’t there the last time, and after that beat up Leviathan, Ramuh and Shiva for good measure.

So now I’ve done extremes synced, for the second time with the first three, and for the first time with Levi, Ramuh and Shiva. Not touching Thornmarch though. Was fun! Ramuh had to be my favorite, Shiva least favorite ‘cause I had no idea what was happening in that fight and just died repeatedly.

I was tank for the whole duration too, my co-tank changed once ‘cause the one I tanked the first three with didn’t have access to Ramuh and Shiva. ‘Cuz sprouts. Like, I had to switch from Ash to Saahe for the same reason, I just hadn’t gotten that far in the MSQ with Ash. He reached Ishgard today though, while I spent seven hours in VC with another FC member.

Idk what got into me but I had a good time??? We didn’t chat nonstop, obviously, but there was plenty of nice chatter and I was able to answer some game related questions from them (they’ve played for like five days).

And a few days ago there were a few people on VC, just hanging out, and I joined in on that too.

I cannot begin to express how out of character this kind of behavior is for me.

#i've always considered myself an introvert #my therapist very soon after i started therapy disagreed with that assessment #in her opinion i'm an ambivert #and i'm starting to think she might be right 'cause the socialization hasn't unduly tired me out? #but the trick is that anything irl WILL be hell for me and i hate people contact in person #but when we're talking about online people it's like yeah #i tend to spend all of my waking hours talking with someone #usually via text but apparently voice works too #and i get lonely fast if i don't have anyone online to talk to #contrast that to not remembering when was the last time i WANTED to interact with someone irl #i do force myself to do it pretty often #but i just don't feel the need for it #i'm a physical hermit but digital people person i guess #like you know that ''i didn't feel like going but i'm glad i went anyway'' you get sometimes? #i don't get that with irl things #period #i'll always regret social obligations 'cause they're never as good as what i could be doing instead #it's an eternal string of ''why did i agree to that'' #anyway don't mind me #ooc

[rinhaler]

assuming ur reqs are still open, can we please get younger stepbro!megumi watching you get off through a peephole in the wall? and like you know he's watching so you call him a little perv and he gets harder 👀

i'm sorry if it's too specific sdjsdjsjjls ofc u don't have to do this, have a lovely day!!

-a follower who's too shy to come off anon

I hope this is okay for you! I've never really thought about writing a younger step brother thing before since I'm not into younger guys myself but I hope I made it fun for you to read, enjoy my angel!

warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader, masturbation (m+f), voyeurism, vibrator use, stepcest ofc.

words: 1.1k

Going from being an only child to having a little brother was always going to be a big adjustment. It’s not like you’re that much older, but moving into a new home to accommodate a four person and two dog household was a big change. You had your own room on the ground floor of your old home. Your mother didn’t stop you from coming and going as you pleased.

But now, you have a room directly next door to Megumi.

You’re always butting heads and even your stepdad has been giving you trouble since your family merged. You have a curfew for the first time in your life. You aren’t allowed boys over and you haven’t been able to party in months. You’re frustrated. Constantly pent up from the lack of excitement in your life.

Megumi hasn’t helped the situation in the least. He’s a quiet introvert with a wicked tongue when he starts. You argue a lot, and he always gets you into trouble. You’re the wayward party girl. Whereas he’s the studious quiet guy that couldn’t ever put a foot wrong.

You’re going stir crazy.

And it’s been weeks since you got laid.

You took a risk when you decided to order a new vibrator to alleviate your tension. If you can’t satiate it with sex, a big pink wand will have to do. You didn’t want to get caught by a stupid mistake like your parents or your brother opening the parcel. So you ordered it to a friend’s house. She didn’t judge, but she dropped it off the very next day for you, winking and telling you not to have too much fun.

Fingers aren’t enough, they haven’t been for years.

The only thing that can relieve your growing tension is the buzz of a vibrator. You have small bullets and they do just fine, but if your stepdad is insisting on you having no life and no hook ups, you knew you had to up the ante.

The only other person home right now is Megumi. Your parents are at work and you quite frankly can’t wait to watch some porn and cum all over your toy. You hurry up the stairs and take it out of the packaging. You test to see if it has any charge, it does, and decide to forgo charging. You don’t care about a lengthy edging session. You just want to cum.

And you’ve known about the sick little hole Megumi drilled between your bedrooms for weeks now. He thought you weren’t home when he did it, opting to hide when he started peeping through. It’s behind a Weezer poster adjacent to his bed. You’ve seen the familiar green eye numerous times and opted not to say anything. Not because you want him to leer at you. But because you’re holding it to use as ammunition next time he really pisses you off.

You hear the indiscreet sound of his poster moving after you test the buzz of your vibrator. And you smirk, hearing how he carefully tries to unzip his pants and groans softly the second his hand holds his cock.

It’s an all too familiar sound, now. Him wanking over you at any given chance. It’s weird considering he has zero interest in you as a human being, doing anything he can to hinder your life. But watching you undress slowly everyday multiple times leaves him spent. And the intimate moments after dark that you have to yourself and the quietly playing porn you choose to watch on your phone are the highlights of his day.

He strokes himself slowly as you strip down to nothing, you’re teasing him as you fondle your breasts before getting comfortable on your bed. You settle for some lewd ASMR. A random man with a deep voice telling you what a good girl you are among other things. You do exaggerate a few moans, pretending that you have no idea that your brother is home and playing with himself over you.

It feels incredible.

You knew a wand would be powerful, but you had no idea to this extent.

“O-Oh, fuck, shit—” you gasp, cumming almost instantly as you up the speed to full. You’re shaking and shivering as your orgasm rips through you, and the sheer quickness of it all makes you burst into laughter. You cover your mouth, giggling, in a state of disbelief of how amazing this pink silicone toy is.

Megumi licks his lips, beating himself off quicker after realising you’ve came already. He hadn’t expected you to finish so quickly, but he keeps replaying the sound of your moans in his mind as he tries to chase you in your release. But he slows, again, when he hears you restart the wand. He grunts, too loudly, as he watches your hips roll into the wand, chasing the feeling of that release again.

“Such a little perv, Megumi.” you moan… not stopping the buzzing against your clit as you talk to him. “W-What would dad think? If he knew you were getting hard and cumming over me?”

He bites his lips, unable to believe you knew he was doing this. And even more shocked that you aren’t stopping, letting him watch you. Maybe even getting off on it? If he’s a perv, what does that make you?

But he knows he’s a perv. He’s had a thing for you since the minute he set eyes on you. Unable to believe how brazen you were with bringing boys home and making out with them without a care in front of your parents. Toji hated it, and so did Megumi. But he couldn’t deny it turned him on. And seeing how riled up you were getting after Toji’s boy ban was when he knew he had to take the plunge and make a little peephole for himself.

Spying on you every chance he got whenever you felt particularly needy or just wanted to change your outfit. He’s had so many jerk-off sessions to you thinking you were clueless.

But you’ve known… the whole time. It’s too much for him. It’s going to bring him to his fucking end.

“You’re such a slut…” he pants, his teeth piercing the skin on his lip enough to draw blood.

“I-I’d rather be a- a slut. Meg-umi. Than a gross little perv like you. Watchin’ me cum everyday… watchin’ me change… such a sicko. Hnng—!” you tense up, trying to hold back your orgasm while taunting your brother.

He cums, spurting white globs all over his fist and up the wall. You hear him hissing and grunting as he finishes, you even hear the sticky fisting sound over the buzz of your vibrator. He begins to pant, deep and heavy as a bead of sweat runs down his forehead.

“I hate you.” he mutters, putting his poster back down and moving away to clean himself up.

“Awe, come back Megs!” you giggle. “Don’t you wanna watch me cum?”

© 2023 rinitxshi

#💌 — luxe mail #📨 — requests #shy follower anon #megumi x reader #megumi x you #megumi smut #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk smut #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi fushiguro smut #megumi fushiguro x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen smut #anime smut #female reader #jjk x fem!reader #tw voyeurism #tw stepcest

[astro-enthusiast]

Solar Return Observations 1.0

Hello, I'm so excited to write this post! Today I will provide an overview of my most recent solar return chart and how the year manifested for me.

For extra background, this was my 12th house profection year (ruled by Jupiter) and it was just as messy as the astro girlies predicted. 0/10 would recommend. Due to this being my 12th house protection year, I assumed it would be pretty low-key. But, my Leo ascendant had other plans. Note: these observations were made using Tropical astrology and Placidus house system!

Leo Ascendant at 24 degrees: talk about being in the spotlight. To an uncomfortable degree, the focus really was on me this year. What I could do, what my talents are, and undivided attention. For an introvert like myself, this was superrr uncomfy!! Idk how y'all do it. But this was a year where my creativity was able to shine. I spent a lot of time with kids and nurturing my own inner child.

Taurus Sun in 9th house (conjunct mercury, NN and MC): I started and stopped college this year. Apparently I needed to go back to be reminded of how much I despise it. Much to my dismay, I did little to no traveling this year. But these planets are all in Taurus so perhaps that can make them stationary? Sun conjunct NN made it to where my entire being was exactly what I needed to be. I just needed to stand tall and confident (Leo ASC) in who God created me to be.

Speaking of God, with this being my 12th house protection year, I started going back to church, volunteering my time and resources, and standing stronger in my spirituality. I would have NEVER made it through this year without this!

Aquarius Pluto in 6th house square Taurus Sun: I thought I was gonna d*e like a thousand times when I seen this aspect/placement. Y'all I was scurred, but still I rise! This year was certainly strange. At times it felt as if I was my own worst enemy. Battling inner battles every moment of the day. I joked that each week I was a new person, but honestly, this was the truth. Pluto doesn't let you stay the same. My routine changed a lot this year and I ended up working in a career I have never even considered! I also started posting on social media a lot more and even made a YouTube channel!

Cancer Moon conjunct Cancer Mars in 11th house: this also frightened me. I'm a natal Cap moon so to give me a Cancer moon?! Baby, idk what to do with this...but we made it work! My energy levels were very much dependent on my mood and emotions so that was icky. My relationship with my mother pretty much carried me through this year. In whole signs, this moon is placed in the 12th house which I found very interesting as my mother suffered some mental health issues and had to go away for a bit. I did partake in more social gatherings this year, although I won't say I necessarily gained more friends. Friendly gatherings felt more purposeful and I felt much less anxiety compared to what I would typically feel.

Scorpio IC: a majority of my transformations took place at home. I would go to sleep and energetically wake up a completely different person.

Taurus Mercury square Leo Ascendant: the way I articulated myself was in direct contrast with the way I presented myself. My appearance was very bold and hard to ignore, but my voice was very soft-spoken, yet straight to the point. I also noticed that people expected me to be one way, but when I opened my mouth and was a straight shooter, it took people aback, Like yeah, you weren't expecting me to be a bad*ss were you? Also Sun conjunct Mercury and Mercury conjunct Uranus so I stood on business!

Aries Chiron at a Leo degree: You know what's worse than being projected into the spotlight? Being in the spotlight, but cringing the entire time because you don't want people to see who you truly are. Flaws and all. This was how this placement manifested for me. I've always struggled with self-acceptance but the universe really said it's time to tackle this head on! Not an easy feat...

7th house Pisces Saturn at a Leo degree: Dang, Leo energy was on me bad this year! Well, I experienced my first committed romantic relationship with a Pisces Rising! It only lasted a few months, but the levels of delusion were insane. Definitely someone I shouldn't have been with to begin with, but you don't know unless you try, right? Saturn sextile my NN and Sun, so it was for character development hahaha.

10th house Gemini Venus at Leo degree: I've had this placement in plenty of my Solar Returns and each time I thank God it's only for a year. But it's a cute lil placement for the time being. With Venus in the 10th house, I found it very easy to charm people and get on their good side. Especially after just one conversation. I didn't have any love triangles cause I don't play that, but I did have quite a few people tryna be my boo...Venus square Neptune added to the delusion I had going and Sextile Chiron helped me to heal relationship issues and my relationships with women! Ooh, Gemini rules the hands and I created a lot of beauty this past year! Especially on the internet. I was also incredibly loved at work. People bringing me gifts and buying me food regularly. I could get used to this lol.

10th house Taurus Uranus conjunct MC: drastic and unexpected changes in my career and reputation. One minute no one knew me and next minute I'm Ms. Popular?? Okay, popular for ME lol. I was nervous in my career because I was doing stuff I had never done before. My job seemed fairly stable and chill. I appreciated this vibe greatly.

These are some of the placements/aspects that stood out to me this last year. Feel free to shed some light on your personal experiences with these placements either natal or solar return. :)

Please do not under any circumstances copy, rewrite, reword, or repost my work without crediting me.

#astrology #astroblr #astro observations #astro notes #solar return #solar return chart

[nattaphum]

Apo Nattawin x Vogue Men - June 2023 issue

Translation by MileapoSafePlace

CROSSING THE STREAM OF LIFE

It is said that if you want to know the true self of someone, try going through their Instagram profile of that person thoroughly and we'll see their character from what they posted.

If you stalk* Apo Nattawin Wattanagitiphat's IG profile, you can sense some feeling that connects the pictures together. Even though those posts are from different places/locations, different times, and different contexts, but most of the pictures communicate Apo's sense of self quite clearly. And.. if you want to get to know Apo's at a deeper level, try and Follow IG: @apovision, his personal profile where he collects pictures he took himself. Even though there are only some hundred thousands followers, which is considered low compared to the main profile @nnattawin of 3.4M followers, what connects the two profiles is the portrayal of his artistic self

"Po's characteristic, i think that Po is quite an intriguing person because even Po-self, myself, cannot predict myself as well."

Po answered when Vogue asked about his true personality. He didn't seem like a hard-to-know person, but sometimes it's not easy because Apo has his own world.

"I really love the naturalness/authenticity within myself. Po's character and personality is similar to a cat. I act according to the mood. If I want to do it, I'll do it, if I don't want to do it, I won't do it. (laughs). When I play, I play hard. Whenever I do anything, I just enjoy it to the fullest. When I'm quiet, I'd be quiet. Which like a cat, Po will have Po's own world"

Even though, in real life, he is a person who lives according to his mood and has his own world highly introverted, when it comes to work, Apo will give it his all and be very serious.

We can feel it from the way he talks about work, he'll give all the details, until you can clearly see the picture of what it takes before the work is completed, how hard he had to really prepare.

"I want to work to come out great, everytime that work is done, i will always look back whether I've done my best on that day or not, can I do it better?, do I regret if that time has passed?, it makes me look back at that timeline, in which at that age I could that much, with this age, can I do more than that?; therefore, the criteria i use to accept the work I do, i will ask myself all the time whether I can do it or not, if I can, to what degree can I do it, is that work over my ability or not, if it's above my ability, if I accept that work would I improve or not. I will continuously ask myself these things because if i got the answer that 'if I take the job that is challenging and it makes Po grow/develop, (I)will do it. But if (I) take it and feel that (I) wouldn't grow from doing that, (I) won't do it."

"The thing that (I) learned from the entertainment industry is managing the expectations of myself and of others, and... thinking ahead of myself that stems from myself such as egotism. Whenever this happens, it'll make it harder for us to work, less motivated, the efficiency when working will also decrease"

The clear sense of self in himself makes Apo challenge himself in new kinds of work continuously. He often brings out tactics in managing (things) with work to refine the details for him to know the purpose of working in certain projects.

"The method i use for working with the projects is using the What, When, Where, Why, How" I will ask myself before going to work time, and analyze deeper and deeper, talk with myself again and again, which is what I use with every work, no matter if it's acting, MC/host, or fashion. I will ask myself, where am I going, going with who, going to what work/event, who will be there, what does this work/event want (what's the goal), and what do they want me to do"

With questioning himself in detail, it makes him (able to) present certain sides of himself through his work regularly. Even though the role (he receives) is different from his first steps ten years ago, until today Apo has always had more challenging roles, which he looks at it in a way that no matter whoever tells him he's successful in whatever way, he will still have to keep on developing.

"I have to continue developing everyday. The word "Came this far" is not far for me. (You) can measure it from our learning, as for what are the things we've learned from the first day we step into (this industry) ten years ago. I have to develop all (that I've learned). For instance, if we did something well, it doesn't mean that we'll do it well tomorrow. or we might not be able to do it as well as today. Everything is a learning (process). Someone once told me that they're 50 already and still have to learn, develop themselves all the time. Therefore, i, myself, have to continue developing (myself) in every way."

The past year, he continuously developed his work in various aspects as he intended to. One of his dreams is to work with an international team, which has already come true that is to attend Dior's (fashion) twice.

"I just had the time to sit down and look at the pictures of what I've done this year. It's like a dream krub. It was so cool. Dior is a brand with heritage, their image has been curated really well. Both the taste and the brand's vision. Being part of the show allows us to learn, getting to know how they think, plan, or how they prepare things. Which influences us in the way that we ask ourselves 'What are we doing there? What did they want us to do? How do we have to prepare and position ourselves? I am quite proud of the way we (Po and BOC) prepared ourselves. When we arrived, we weren't disappointed because we're fully prepared, and can handle the nerves quite well. The (Dior) show was great/such an extravaganza, and it's just perfect for Dior's brand. (The way they) choose each person to go is also appropriate. It was something that i had to learn. I'm very proud to be able to go"

Apo said that in 5 years ahead, he hopes to be able to work with international brands in a definitive way.

"But as to what it will be, have to wait and see krub. Because this past time, the plans that (we) had, have completely changed. Like, even if i said i will go to Hua Hin, while driving, i might stop by here or there, or might just park the car and walk. Like no matter, let's just get to Hua Hin, but if you don't make it to Hua Hin, at least i get to go to Petchaburi, get to go to Cha Am, (and) i am already happy. Like whether it happens or not, it's the future, but if it does happen (I'lI) be happy."

On Man Suang:

Coming soon, he is going to have the first mega film, Apo said that it's another challenge as an actor.

"The role in Man Suang is very challenging because of the description of the scenes, description of the characters' self, including each and every moment/action in detail. In Po's part that is an actor, we have to portray the words (in the script) into a picture (the film)"

Apo had to lose 3-4 kilograms to fit the role of an actor in old theater/plays that has to wear the Thai traditional dresses and look beautiful.

"I think that this film is fun/entertaining. We haven't seen Thai films with a plot like this in such a long time. Plus, the mixing the arts of different cultures together. It's very exquisite and very challenging."

Even though he said that it's tiring, and every shoot took up all his energy, what (he) got in return is valuable to his heart.

"What (I) got back is the pride and proudness of being a Thai person. As a person born in Thailand, (I) believe that people around the world would be proud of the Thainess and Thai culture that will be portrayed through this film as well"

Seeing that you are this serious when it comes to work, when you let loose, what does Apo do?

"When I have free time, I find a place to take a walk around l. Walk in the park or around secondhand/vintage markets, sometimes (I) walk in the mall, or by the river, old town etc. When i let loose, i will turn off the phone, i don't care about anything at all, also don't limit myself to what I'II do. Do what I want, will shower whenever I want to shower. Leave the house whenever I want to, no plan at all, very chilled, like there's nothing I have to worry about in this life"

When asked about his perspective on life that once he jokingly said that no one would like (him), Apo said that he believe in "suitability".

"I think that when we find true love or the relationship that is suitable for us, we'll be calm/serene. If everything falls into its place or is the right time, love will happen on its own without us having to try to do anything. Because when it comes to relationships, it's something we cannot force, it's something that happens naturally. We cannot force anyone to love us or for us to love them. Beauty will occur when everything falls into its place."

Therefore, these days his love is given to his work and the fans, like 100%. Apo often shares positive messages on Instagram story as an inspiration/encouragement to his followers.

"In whichever way that I can be an encouragement for everyone, i will do it. I want to tell the fans thank you for supporting my work all this time, all the work that came out, i really gave it my all. Please stay and keep an eye on future work, including this Vogue issue too. Thank you very much"

#i love him so much #his vision on love is wonderful #❤️ #kinnporsche #mileapo #apo nattawin #vogue thai #man suang #mileapo movie

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not talking to my childhood friend after she falsely accused me of trash talking her?

I (16F) have been friends with Jane (16F) since 4th grade. We've been pretty close, and even our moms have been good friends.

Now, Jane has had some bad experiences with past friendships which causes her to automatically assume the worst in people and misinterpret what people say to her. This only increased over covid when we briefly lost touch due to online schooling and our classes being shuffled. She was medically diagnosed with anxiety last year as well.

This year, I've already heard a shit ton of rants about my other friends and how everyone is mean to her. This seems a little exaggerated to me, but I never tell her so and instead always patiently hear her out. I try to be supportive, but sometimes the things she tells me sound outright ridiculous.

An example of this is an experience she supposedly had with my friend Raya (16F) who is also in our class. According to her, Raya challenged her friendship with me and passed mean comments about her. This seemed quite out of character to me since Raya is a total introvert and struggles to make conversation with anyone, let alone bullying people. (I later learnt she actually brought the topic of our friendship up to strike conversation with Jane and try to befriend her since I am their common link)

All of these accounts on Jane's part felt suspicious to me, which I did not express, but left alone, knowing she was probably just misinterpreting others' words. However, I did often wonder if Jane ever made up such incidents about me and shared them with any of her other close friends. This was another sentiment I ignored.

Recently, I came back home to a very angry mother. Upon asking why she was mad, I found out that Jane had cried to her mom after school saying that she overheard me say mean things about her to my classmates. I had not done any such thing, so I obviously denied the allegations.

When I asked what exactly I had done, details were given to me sparingly. Not only was I unaware of what I said to cause such a reaction in Jane, but also she had posted about it online. Though she had not taken my name in the posts, I felt very attacked considering the circumstances.

My mother kept insisting I go talk to her, but I found it unreasonable to "patch up things with her" when I had never done anything wrong to begin with. I'm kept in the dark about whatever possible misunderstanding could've happened and I'm just supposed to go talk about it when she didn't have the guts to even specify what I did?

I didn't talk to her for around 5 days following this incident. Today Jane came up to me trying to "get over it" saying she missed me, still refusing to tell me what I'd even done. I've acted friendly so far, and I've tried to cooperate with her mental issues, but this whole situation is making me rethink our friendship. She's pretending that nothing happened, but the whole ordeal makes me wanna distance myself from her.

Sorry if I missed any details, it's a quarter past midnight and I am very sleep deprived.

tl;dr my childhood friend with anxiety accused me of trash talking her and refused to elaborate when I asked about it, so I just ignored her for a few days

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[happy-mokka]

Happy birthday to me!!! 🎂

Yeah. Hi. It's me. Middle-aged Aziraphale fangirl did his next big step in the direction of the big 50.

Wahooooo! Not really…

I hate my birthdays. Always did. Even as a child.

Now as this middle-aged queerish-dude I am still having a hard time, standing in the middle of things and being cheered on by others.

I was born. Great. Get along, people, nothing to see here. Can you all just go home please?

"Well, what the f*ck are you doing here then, right now, with this post, in the middle of an internet platform in front of a bunch of strangers?!?"

some of you might ask. And rightly so, I must add.

Way more than 12 hours before - it is now past 10 pm in Germany - so this morning after I woke up to be exact, I had seriously contemplated the possibility to call in sick on my birthday, and hide myself from the world, quietly sobbing on my couch. For the first time in my working life of 24 years. I had always been to work on my birthdays. No exception.

But the past months had been hard. I never really felt in control of things, still don't. Those who know me closer, know that I like to be in control. Always a plan at hand. Always prepared…

Only that it didn't really work out…hasn't for quite a long time. I just never admitted it to myself. Always kept on going. My family was always good in repressing things.

Don't show weakness. Keep on functioning. What will the others think? People depend on you!

My family also never really considered me being "a success story" by their standards. I am unmarried. Don't have children. No big career. Ok, I've put enough on the side to live a financial solid life in a nice appartment. But the first part really nagged at them, and through them at me.

So I was already unhappy for quite some time.

Together with an ongoing above-average and ever growing work-load at the office, this feeling of unhappiness turned slowly into dread and then deep sadness, until I felt close to breaking with the beginning of today.

Now, almost 15 hours later, I am here, writing this sappy stuff and am genuinely happy for the first time in months.

"What changed?"

Well, I was thinking about this a lot in the past hour. While sitting in the bus and later while walking home.

Honestly? Nothing really changed.

I got my eyes opened and my perspective adjusted by someone very dear to me. That's what friends are for, and she is the best of them. My bestie.

She is the one who got me addicted to Good Omens last year and pushed me onto this hellsite. She brought me Doctor Who and the Tardis (yeah, I know, shame on me, coming so late to the game…). She makes me constantly re-think my opinions and keeps opening new windows to look through on things I had missed or never noticed before. She is challenging me on a daily basis to be more than I normally would go for or did for many years. She became the closest friend I have ever had in my life. Sure, I know lots of people a lot longer in years. Some since Kindergarten. But none of them digged themselves so deep into the darkest corners of my soul. Places not even my brother or my parents ever got to see. She made me, a life long rather shy introvert, open up, despite the fact that she is even more introverted than I have ever been. I still don't fully understand all of it, but here I am, writing all this to an unknown audience, as proof. A year ago, this wouldn't have been possible, not even in my wildest dreams.

"So, you didn't realize this before?"

I did. It just got pushed aside by all the negative spiralling. Sometimes you don't see, what's right in front of you.

After work, I walked her home. I like doing that. Sometimes talking all the way. Sometimes just walking in silence side by side. At her place she handed me 2 presents and just like that, it clicked. Sometimes, it doesn't take much, if it comes from the heart…

People, meet my new Michael Sheen mug!!!

So, we basically bonded over Good Omens and as faith would have it, we are exactly Aziraphale (me) and Crowley (her) coded. 100%.

It makes me beyond happy, knowing that everytime I'll sip my coffee with my beloved Sheeny, on the other end of town she will sip her hot cocoa out of her corresponding new David Tennant mug.

Good Omens was not the only thing we found out to have in common. The common ground sometimes is really breathtaking and we still regularly stumble over new things it contains. So many things that we equally love. Books, movies, music, long walks, just sitting there in silence and taking in a beautiful view… On the other hand, we are so different in so many aspects, but with the feeling of it rather complementing than dividing us.

She loves to chrochet, I can't even hammer a nail strait into a sponge. Speaking of which, meet my 2nd gift: Audrey!!!!!!!!!

We watched "Little shop of Horrors" (the 1986 version with Rick Moranis) a few weeks ago. Both for the first time. Loved it. I immediately fell for "Audrey", the flesh-eating alien plant. Didn't speak anything out loud, still it didn't go unnoticed…and, yes, it is hand-made!!!

*sigh*

"So, what am I trying to say here?"

Good qestion…

Life can be cruel. Life will be hard at times. It will make you cry, like, a lot.

Try to not go through all this alone. Sometimes those that you least expect it from, turn out to become your anchor in the stormy sea or the lighthouse showing you the way. Build your own little family of friends (even if its just one). Hold them tight, once you found them. Love them with all that's in you. You will get it back ten fold.

To quote the great Neil Gaiman:

Why?

L🥰ve!

@uncleadelheid-will-eat-your-soul , thanks for being all that for me, little introverted geeky metal edgelord office girl, and thanks for enduring my annoying love for bad jokes and even worse puns…

P.S.: Sorry btw for the storm, lighthouse, anchor metaphors with you hating all that's related to the dark blue sea…I still didn't edit them out…maybe we'll be getting there. At least I left out fishy fish…

🐟🐠🐡🦈🌊🦑

#happy birthday #ineffable friendship #besties #love your friends #platonic love #little shop of horrors #seymour krelborn #audrey ii #michael sheen #good omens #david tennant #doctor who #tardis #friendship #friends #why #love #neil gaiman #sappy ramblings #optimistic #from the heart #personal #up close and personal

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

hi raven :3! iirc you once gave your opinion on why malleus is much more popular in en server rather than jp server (at least before book 7). I was wondering if you ever did the same but with why floyd (and jade?) seem to be so much less popular in en in comparison to jp? I've been curious about that for a while!

[Referencing this post!]

Personally, I haven’t ever had the impression that the twins are significantly less popular in the EN fandom compared to the JP fandom. They are pretty popular in both spaces. (Full disclosure though, this take comes from a biased perspective because my timeline is always flooded with Tweel fan content from both EN and JP.)

I’d say that if there are any major differences in popularity, those could also be due to cultural differences (between individualist America/Canada and collectivist Japan) and different demographics in EN (adolescents and young adults) vs JP (older working women). This basically explains most, if not all, differences in character rankings. For example, EN tends to like the “quirky” ones, which may explain why Floyd tends to outdo Jade (who initially comes off as much more polite and demure) in popularity.

I think some of it also comes down to the “he’s just like me fr!” factor, which is very prominent in the EN fandom but not as much in JP. This could explain why Idia (the introverted otaku) is prominent in EN (especially on X Twitter) but not as much in JP.

Do what you will with that information and come to your own conclusions! (I don’t want to keep making generalized statements myself, since we don’t have the numbers or a non-biased perspective to support this. These are all very subjective observations.)

You should also consider your own circles/social feeds and how those impact what content you see and shapes your impressions of character popularity. Even if you were to run a poll on a site to see who is popular, that’s not accurate information because individual characters are more popular based on the kind of audience one social media platform attracts.

#twst #twisted wonderland #Floyd Leech #Tweels #twst en #twisted wonderland en #Jade Leech #notes from the writing raven #question #advice #Idia Shroud

[evelhak]

I felt implicitly tagged by @lilypheria. Here's the template too.

It may seem like I only write KnB these days but I don't consider myself to be done with my SPOP comics yet.

Tagging all my writer friends but I'm going to mention @active-mind-15 because you're kind of new to me. But I really want to hear about all my writer mutuals and followers. By the way if you've written one unfinished fic or tried to start to write your ideas but can't, or haven't written for years, or have any other struggle that makes you feel invalid, you count as a writer.

Going to elaborate under the cut because I felt like it.

My old account was FinFanFun, a Finnish site I used mostly for reading Facebook wall fics about that which should not be named.

AO3 is where I publish my KnB fics though I've considered branching out to see if there's still some fandom corners I haven't reached.

I'm slowly introducing myself to writing smut but the only story I've published has been called mild and soft smut or smut-ish, and I doubt the rest will be much different.

I frequently beta-read for friends, though fanfiction is the minority.

I used to have two beta-readers but they're unable to do it anymore so all my fics rely solely on me for now, which makes me really anxious sometimes. I am pretty desperate for a new beta-reader so if KagaKuro and a million words of "homework" doesn't frighten you, please jump into an adventure with me!

All my fics are self-indulgent in that they're what I want to see play out in the story. They are not personal fantasies, or necessarily what I want to see in real life, but it's what I envision for these characters.

I'm always reading old favourite fics again and I need to branch out actually.

If I'm in need of a short fic to read I will probably pick fluff.

Have written m/m and f/f (and m/? and m/f) but honestly it's weird to put them in the same category when m/m is so overrepresented.

I'm not actually sure if I consider fanfiction as a genre or rather a medium, because all genres exist inside fanfiction. Medium is probably more true but I seem to have checked it anyway because I feel like the point here is whether fanfiction is valid literature and that it is.

I don't know if two fandoms with one being dormant would be considered multifandom so maybe no.

I do anxiously wait for feedback since I'm very community oriented but I'm also very introverted and internally motivated so the lack of it doesn't discourage me. I have patience and I can wait for connection for years and years. Not that lack of connection doesn't affect me, of course it does, but giving up is just a very antithetical concept to my beliefs and life.

I have one on-going long KnB story and one unfinished She-Ra fic that is waiting for a better time. Which is an exception since I tend to finish what I start before moving on.

Editing fanfiction is actually not as bad as editing original fiction because I put much less pressure on myself, partially because you can always edit your fic again.

Always listening to hours long conversations in my head between characters when I'm trying to sleep. They're really bad at shutting up and I'm supposed to remember this stuff in the morning?

I was mildly drunk for ten days straight to write Anything Can Happen. Haven't done that since but it was really fun.

My main KnB storyline gets most of my attention. It's just my thing, I pour everything into it.

I didn't check 'wants to be a professional writer' because after three traditionally published books I consider myself to be that already. I actually went the other way around than seems to be the norm: I was an original fiction writer first and then branched out to fanfiction in my twenties. I can see it greatly affects how I write fic, and it's probably the main reason I feel like a bit of an outsider.

#fanfiction #writing #bingo

[weheartchrisevans]

Chris Evans on How He Meditates, Being an Introvert, and How His Dog Helped Him Land His Newest Role

Chris Evans has a new role, but this one has nothing to do with acting. If you follow the star on social media, you know just how much he loves his adopted dog Dodger. (So much.) Posting them "working out" together, snuggling, and just hanging out, the actor is clearly a dog lover, and as such, he's now teamed up with Jinx, the dog nutrition brand, to take an active role in the company, working to help inform creative direction and marketing campaigns.

"I was already giving my dog, Dodger, these treats—he loved them," says Evans. "So my business manager actually brought me the opportunity, and I got to meet with the people at Jinx. It's always great meeting people who have similar passions to your own, and there's also a really great product involved. It just seems to make sense—kind of seems like a no-brainer."

We caught up with Captain America—uh, I mean Chris Evans—to talk more about his pup, his wellness habits, and whether he's an introvert or extrovert. Read it all below.

W+G: What do you and Dodger like doing most together, activity-wise?

CE: "We love hikes, we love camping, we love going on walks, we like to go on bike rides. You know, I've had dogs before that weren't great when I was on a bike or I was on roller blades or something; they were a little unpredictable. But Dodger is a really balanced and measured running partner even when I'm on wheels. We're big outdoorsy guys, but we also love a good sleeping-in. If we've had a late night, Dodger doesn't mind sleeping until noon."

W+G: Now that we know you're both big sleep fans, what are your go-to ways to relax?

CE: "My job oftentimes has very early start times. Sets can be at 5 a.m. a lot of days, so if Dodger and I had a late night, we love to take the morning off. He wants to sleep as late as I do. When he was younger, it was a little different, but in recent years he doesn't mind."

W+G: You've talked about how you're into meditation before with others. Is that something you still regularly do?

CE: "Of course. I think you have to. It's right up there with feeling like you're not eating enough vegetables or drinking enough water. If all of a sudden you're having a bad day—physically, mentally, emotionally—I think it's easy to point to, Man, if I'd really taken the time to still my mind for a little bit..."

W+G: Yeah, I think people still tend to think of meditation as one thing, one action—a prescribed way of doing it. But it's just really being present, and still.

CE: "Yeah, exactly: mindfulness. This could be as simple as when you're brushing your teeth, just keeping your thoughts present and not trying to have reactions and just letting things... be. Not letting your brain run in 10 different directions."

W+G: I'd love to hit you with some more rapid-fire wellness questions. So let's start easy—are you an early bird or a night owl?

CE: "Oh man, a little bit of both. Which probably isn't good for my sleep pattern, but... you know, I usually don't sleep past 8 a.m. Nine in the morning is a good sleep-in for me, but that's just because I'm becoming an old man. Those days of sleeping in are over. I have a hard time going to bed before midnight. I don't know if that counts as a night owl; I'm not up to two or three in the morning."

W+G: And would you consider yourself extroverted or introverted?

CE: "I think everyone feels like they're a bit of an introvert, myself included. I guess it depends on the company. Around my friends and family, I'm a little different."

W+G: Milk—regular, oat, or almond?

CE: "I'm an almond guy, if any! I really don't always find the need for it, based on what I eat.

W+G: Natural next question—coffee or tea?

CE: "Oh, coffee. For sure. I really don't drink that much tea."

#chris evans #jinx #well + good magazine #interview #news

[mindyco]

Jesus, I love Belphie's little attitude so much. Pfft- you could tell he was the easiest to write for since it's the longest one- I stg I'm not choosing favorites... (¬‿¬) I would kill if it meant the brothers will always be happy. Artwork credit: @myt_s3

Scenario: Brothers' reactions to helping you ice skate!

With a mix of determination and a hint of amusement, Lucifer takes on the role of your ice skating instructor. He guides you onto the ice with a confident stride, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"Don't worry, I'm here to ensure you don't embarrass yourself too much. Consider it a favor from me to you."

As you take your first shaky steps, Lucifer keeps a watchful eye on you, ready to catch you if you stumble. But he can't help but chuckle when you wobble and flail your arms for balance.

"Ah, my dear, you truly have a unique way of defying gravity. I've never seen someone master the art of stumbling quite like you."

Despite the occasional teasing, Lucifer's guidance is patient and encouraging. He adjusts your posture and offers tips to help you find your balance.

As you continue to practice, Lucifer's laughter becomes contagious, and soon both of you are laughing together, enjoying the lighthearted moment.

"I must admit, even in your most ungraceful moments, you manage to bring joy to the Devildom. A talent not to be underestimated."

Mammon's excitement is palpable as he eagerly grabs your hand, dragging you onto the ice. He's full of enthusiasm and confidence, believing he's the best teacher in the Devildom.

"Listen up, human! You're about to learn from the Great Mammon himself. Get ready to witness perfection on ice!"

His first attempt to show off his skills ends in a spectacular slip, sending him sprawling on the ice with a loud thud. He quickly recovers, pretending it was all part of his grand plan.

"Just demonstrating what not to do, you know?"

However, his bravado quickly fades as he realizes his own lack of skills. He clings to your arm for dear life, his face a mixture of fear and determination.

"O-Okay, maybe I need a bit more practice myself. But hey, don't worry! We'll figure this out together, and soon we'll be the coolest skaters in the Devildom!"

Despite the occasional mishaps, Mammon's infectious laughter fills the air, turning each stumble into a comedic moment that leaves both of you in stitches.

Leviathan, despite his usual introverted nature, can't hide his excitement about teaching you how to ice skate. He's done extensive research and even prepared a list of tips and techniques.

"Alright, listen up! I've studied every ice skating tutorial, watched countless competitions, and even played ice skating video games. Prepare to be amazed!"

As you both step onto the ice, Leviathan's confidence wavers, his feet faltering on the slippery surface. His attempts to stay balanced are comically awkward, resembling a newborn deer taking its first steps. He wobbles and flails his arms for balance, occasionally letting out an embarrassed squeak.

Despite his initial struggles, Leviathan's gaming instincts kick in, and he starts treating ice skating like a video game. He provides you with tips and strategies, comparing each move to an in-game maneuver.

"See, it's all about timing and precision, just like executing a perfect combo move in 'Mage Battle Royale XIII'!"

As he starts to gain confidence, Leviathan attempts to incorporate gaming-inspired moves on the ice, adding dramatic spins and jumps to his repertoire.

"Prepare to witness the ultimate gamer on ice! Get ready for the 'Leviathan Special Attack'!"

Despite the occasional slip or crash landing, Leviathan's determination and his amusing reactions to each mishap create an atmosphere of laughter and camaraderie.

Satan approaches the ice skating lesson with a more composed and analytical demeanor. He explains the physics of gliding on ice, drawing diagrams, and discussing weight distribution, although it all goes through one ear and out the other.

"Remember, it's all about the science of balance and momentum. Adjust your body position accordingly, and you'll conquer the ice in no time."

Whenever you stumble or lose balance, Satan is quick to extend a hand, providing support and reassurance. His touch is warm and comforting as if he possesses a natural ability to calm any anxiety.

Despite his composed demeanor, Satan occasionally lets out a subtle chuckle when you encounter a particularly amusing mishap, reminding you not to take yourself too seriously.

"Ah, a graceful stumble worthy of a Shakespearean comedy. Fear not, for even the most skilled skaters have their moments of folly."

He takes your hand gently, leading you onto the ice with practiced precision. His own movements are smooth and calculated, showcasing his inherent grace and control.

Together, you glide across the ice, sharing moments of laughter and tranquility, creating memories that feel like fragments of a peaceful dream.

Asmodeus sees ice skating as another opportunity to show off his elegance and beauty. Adorned in a dazzling outfit that catches the light and sparkles with every movement, he steps onto the ice with confidence, radiating charm and beauty. He twirls effortlessly on the ice, mesmerizing you with his fluid movements.

"Darling, observe closely. I shall demonstrate the epitome of grace and glamour on ice. Prepare to be dazzled!"

However, his showboating gets the best of him, and he loses balance, dramatically falling on his behind.

"Well, that wasn't quite what I intended, but it adds a touch of charm, don't you think?"

With a melodramatic flourish, Asmo gracefully stands up, shaking off the mishap with a laugh and a wink.

Beelzebub's eyes light up with excitement as he takes your hand and leads you onto the ice. His strong grip provides you with a sense of security as you take your first steps.

"Don't worry, I've got you. Just take it one step at a time."

His naturally athletic abilities make it easy for him to glide effortlessly across the ice, but he slows down to match your pace, patiently guiding you along.

While he focuses on teaching you the basics, his infectious laughter fills the air whenever one of you stumbles or loses balance. He never fails to turn it into a lighthearted moment.

"Oops, looks like we've hit a little bump there. No worries, we'll just make it part of our signature move. It's all about having fun!"

His encouragement and warm smile give you the confidence to keep going, and before you know it, you're both gliding together, sharing laughs and creating unforgettable memories on the ice.

Belphegor's initial enthusiasm for teaching you how to ice skate quickly wanes as he realizes how cold the ice is. He insists on wearing several layers and wraps a scarf around his face.

"If we're going to do this, we're going to stay warm and cozy. Trust me, you'll thank me later."

He opts for a more laid-back approach, lazily sliding across the ice while occasionally yawning. Despite his lack of effort, his natural sense of balance keeps him stable.

He takes slow steps onto the ice, as if he's gliding through a dream. His movements on the ice are surprisingly graceful, as if he's in sync with the serene atmosphere. He effortlessly glides across the surface, a faint smile playing on his lips.

"Just follow my lead, I guess."

Whenever you stumble or lose balance, Belphie reacts with an exaggerated yawn, as if your mishap has failed to impress his sleepy sensibilities.

"Oh, what a thrilling performance. You nearly put me back to sleep with that one. Try again, but with a little more pizzazz this time."

He occasionally takes breaks to lie down on the ice, using his wings as a makeshift pillow. From his prone position, he offers you tips on how to maintain a relaxed and fluid posture.

Together, you skate in a leisurely manner, cherishing the serene moments and exchanging lighthearted banter, creating a relaxing and humorous experience.

"You know, there's something oddly relaxing about gliding on ice. Maybe it's a good way to take a nap... I mean, exercise. Just try not to disturb my beauty sleep."

～𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪

#Obey me #ice skating #humorous #cute #fluffy #scenario #Mammon #obey me headcanons #Asmo #Belphie #Beel #Lucifer #Satan

[andypantsx3]

would you happen to have any tips for getting your work noticed and making friends with other writers in the community? ;w;

Hello my love!! This is an interesting question!! Idk that I have a tried-and-true model to recommend you follow because I've sort of found myself where I am by accident!!

In terms of my own fics finding an audience, I mostly just happened to be in the right place at the right time, aka writing fics 3.5 years ago when the pandemic fanfic boom happened! I think most of my readers are just people who happened to see me around then!! (Thanks for sticking around guys, I love you. 🥺)

And I'm a little more chatty now that I've found my footing, but I'm actually fairly introverted; my first fandom friendships were mostly formed by dint of a bunch of extroverts adopting me lmao.

So I do think a lot of success anywhere, not just in fic writing, is down to luck! But if I had to think on what things I would do if I was trying to get a few new eyes on my stories and meet some more cool people, I'd say the following:

Join servers! I really enjoy the servers I've joined, although people can tell you I mostly lurk lmao, but they're a good place to chat and get to know people more intimately. I think this is probably the number one way to make friends in fandom!!

Join collabs! If you're in a fic-centric server they will also sometimes offer collab events and that's a good way to get your work on people's radars!! But there's plenty of non-server collabs that writers offer on here too!! I'd be on the lookout for those and join any that seem fun!

Join networks/writer communities! I'm not a member of any network, but I do follow blkwriters, which is a community dedicated to boosting black fic writers. Not sure if either of this applies to you, but I'm sure there are other networks out there applicable to either you or the type of fics you're interested in writing!!

Join zines! This is similar to joining collabs, in that it's a good way to get your work on people's radars and meet new peeps!! There's also the added benefit, for some zines, of beta mods who will give feedback on your work too, something that I found really useful when I did mine!!

There's also the marketing advice of like, making cool banners and finding the right posting time, and writing for popular characters, etc etc but I think you should tell the stories you wanna tell and not let the ~fandom market~ dictate what you do!! (The cool banners part though definitely do if it interests you. Our benevolent design angel todorosie has a couple of good advice posts on how to get started with that!!)

Lastly, I know people don't like it when I say it, but I'm gonna say it anyway lol because I truly believe it and it always bears repeating when it comes to talking about engagement. But always keep in mind that it's about the quality of engagement and not quantity!! Make friends and tell stories for the pleasure of doing so, and I think you will find the deepest satisfaction in that!!

I personally have found after having some fics that people would probably consider successful, and some that I think people would consider flops, what really means the most is when you make a deep connection with someone, even if it's one of only like, 15 notes on a fic. One enthusiastic friend can literally make an entire fic worth it.

Anyway that's what I can think of!! I hope at least some of this is helpful!! And if people have other ideas please feel free to chime in!!

#ask andie

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello mbti-notes! I'm 25 & INFJ. I currently feel directionless, lost and stagnant. Due to this I've isolated myself for a long time up until recently when I realized it's making me more anxious. I've been trying not to isolate myself by taking daily walks, practicing mindfulness, interacting a little with people, learning soft skills and learning from your blog.

Many setbacks have occurred in the past few years. I feel after covid I've just had hardship after hardship without break. I've lost my drive and goals. So I started I've started rethinking my goals. I always knew that I wanted to do a career involving history, travel and in service to others so I worked towards that. In my final year of uni my friend suggested going into teaching because I could do history + teach abroad. I thought it was a good idea. I've taught for one year in my own country.

Since I've entered the teaching field I've had a very difficult time and experienced burnout in no time. I don't feel supported or guidance to overcome challenges that I have. I'm lacking strong classroom management in a class of 40 students (public schools). Senior teachers have told me that I should consider switching to kindergarten or that I would be viewed as incompetent and lose my job. I was also told I'm going to struggle in this field because I struggle to socialize with colleagues. I'm very introverted and lack social skills due to being socially isolated during my middle childhood to teenage years. I'm working on this and try to socialize with colleagues.

It feels discouraging to constantly be criticized. I was told twice by two teachers I worked with closely I work diligently and they'd love to work with me again. First teachers usually struggle with classroom management the difference is how slow or fast one gets a grip on it. For some it's months, just a year or many years. I'm not given the time or space to practice my classroom management. During my entire first year I believed myself to be incompetent because of the comments from experienced, high rank teachers. Which caused me stress and unhealthy perfectionism because I internalized those comments due to my low self worth & external validation. I'm working on changing this belief and learning about myself. I know I can do it with experience, guidance and support. I believe that I'm capable of doing any job or career if I have proper guidance or mentoring.

Unfortunately, only teachers with good classroom management are employed. Unless a school is interested in taking on new teachers and mentoring them which isn't frequent. So far I haven't been able to find stability in this career either. I've just gotten accepted for contract posts which are only for a few months. I'm currently taking a break from being a school teacher and I've started volunteering work by tutoring children. I'm at crossroads with what to choose. Especially because I'm doubting whether I'm suitable to be a teacher considering my classroom management which is very important. I'm considering exploring other jobs than teaching or continuing in that field but as a tutor, online teaching or private schools (20 in a class and my classroom management is good with 20). My question is how do I know if I'm on the right path? How do I find healthy direction? Thank you for your time.

---------------------

1) Trying to learn on the job can be very challenging because of the greater sense of responsibility and the pressure it generates to succeed quickly.

To my ears, the amount of help you need actually sounds a bit unreasonable. There is one point about your situation that is unclear. Did you get a teaching degree that included a proper internship or practicum? (If you entered into a position without the right qualifications or training, then you shouldn't be surprised about struggling.) It's not the job of the employer or your colleagues to educate you once you've already graduated from school, though they may choose to be supportive as part of their mission or as resources allow. Technically speaking, the training should've already happened in your practicum, so it is assumed you already have enough classroom experience to get a grip on things quickly on your own.

If you haven't had enough practical classroom training, it might benefit you to spend time working as a teaching assistant in order to learn from experienced teachers in a more appropriate way, rather than expecting your colleagues to add teaching you to their already full plates of teaching 40 students.

Factors such as student demographics and school funding also influence the workplace environment for teachers, so it might be a good idea to try out many different schools to ensure that the problem doesn't lie solely with you. It could be that the workplace culture in specific schools isn't a good fit for you. It's not something to cast blame about but to accept; simply move on and look for a better fit.

There are many different forms of teaching, so just because you can't manage a class of 40+ doesn't mean you have to give up teaching entirely. Yes, private schools and sometimes schools in more rural areas generally have smaller classes. Also, there are companies that provide after school tutoring programs, so you could actually work as a tutor if one-on-one teaching appeals to you. Private tutoring can be lucrative if you produce good results and the right parents spread the word about your services.

2) The idea of "the right path" is somewhat misleading because it doesn't exist in any absolute sense. And believing there is only one right path for you isn't the healthiest mindset because it makes you less open to possibility and then less adaptable to change. That said, there are some very general indicators you can use to determine whether life is going well, for example:

- Emotional Well-Being: Do you generally feel good? When life is going well, your mood should be relatively stable, your attitude positive, and your outlook optimistic. Remember, pain is a warning that something is wrong. Similar to problems with physical health, if there are any aspects of your life that produce pain and suffering for you, it's better to address them sooner rather than later.

- Healthy Self-Esteem: Are you proud of who you are? Healthy pride comes from things like: taking responsibility for yourself and what you put out; making wise judgments and decisions; speaking constructively; working productively; nurturing and appreciating individuality; building good moral character. It's important to pay attention to feelings of guilt, shame, inadequacy, or self-loathing because they shine a light on opportunities for personal growth.

- Being of Value: Do you feel that you matter? To "matter" basically means your existence is better than your nonexistence. To feel as though you matter in the world, you need to offer something of value and also have your offerings valued by others. If you feel as though you have little or nothing of value to offer, then you might have an underlying issue of low self-worth to address. If you feel as though others don't value you, then you need to examine what is causing the problematic disconnect in your interpersonal life.

- Sense of Purpose: Do you have good reasons to get up every morning? People with a strong sense of purpose generally: strive to use their time and energy in meaningful ways; undertake work that produces tangible benefits; look for opportunities to make a positive contribution; make a commitment to higher goals and ideals. Feeling unmotivated, stuck, lost or adrift often points to lack of purpose in life. Purpose doesn't magically appear. You have to make purposeful choices in accordance with the value you see in yourself and want to express out into the world.

It's not my place to tell people how to make life decisions. You have to reflect on whether this is the career you want and then explore your options and find the position of best fit. This difficulty you are facing in your career could mean any number of things. It could be the challenge you need to learn the skills that you've neglected up until now. It could be a wake up call for realizing that a change of direction is necessary. To be a healthy INFJ means being able to use Ni to connect with the whole truth of the matter. Who else can tell you what is right for you? You have to reflect on it with as much self-honesty as you can muster.

#infj #career #emotional intelligence #self esteem #self worth #purpose #life direction #meaning of life #ask

[aprillikesthings]

I run into people--online, IRL--all the time who seem to think I'm this exotic brave creature for traveling alone and going places alone.

And, to be fair, there are places/events I do not enjoy alone!! Movies at the theater by myself aren't as fun. I've gone to a couple of concerts/shows alone and while in many cases it's better than not going, it's not as fun as going with friends. (Except for classical music concerts. I don't know why.)

And, also, I am an extrovert; and for me part of the fun of traveling alone is meeting and chatting with new people, even if just small talk.

(Lol that has come up more than once on forums/groups/etc for people who do solo travel--the actual introverts who don't want to talk to people and that's why they travel alone, getting grumpy that most of us are social and like meeting people!)

And obviously: it's fun to go places with friends or my partner. Showing my fave places and events to Daci will never get old and I still have a long list to get through! Like Astoria and Seattle!

But! I love going places by myself.

And I keep realizing: I've always done this?

I was the oldest kid and only girl among my siblings. I also often had few friends. So I went places alone or I was stuck in the house. So sometimes I just wandered around, to the extent I was allowed to do so, lost in my own thoughts, playing pretend in my head.

In Iceland as a kid (living on the American military base) I would walk around just because. I would go to the USO and drink Lipton tea and read a book because...why not? In Virginia Beach I'd walk to the store and flip through all the magazines and buy a Snapple (it was the early 90's lol) and walk home. I'd bicycle around aimlessly (not that I was allowed outside our subdivision). I would've gone to the beach or the mall alone if I'd been allowed!

My parents were considered overprotective, and I still got to do all those things. Wild to think about, now.

Moving to the Portland area, that first summer after high school I'd take the bus to Barnes and Noble and buy a frappe at Starbucks (they were NEW at the time lolll) and browse the books for hours alone, bouncing off the walls with caffeine and sugar. That fall I got my license and realized I could drive downtown (or drive to a light rail stop and take that) and nobody could stop me. I would poke through vintage clothing stores and Powell's books and nobody would hurry me along or complain that they wanted to go somewhere else. It was bliss!

And I think it was like, ten years ago or so, when I found out a fairly common source of like, anxiety? fear? -was eating at a restaurant alone. And I still cannot wrap my mind around the idea. Like....why. What are you afraid will happen? Nobody is paying attention to you. Nobody cares. Like. What?! Just bring a book.

But I've had so many people tell me I'm brave for going places alone and I just don't feel brave at all? To me being brave means being a little scared and doing it anyway, and while I'm always nervous when traveling about SOME things (taking public transit in a new place, especially when you don't speak the language; is intimidating at first), the general concept of going to a place alone is just exciting to me.

I don't have to worry about anyone's needs but my own. I can eat whenever/wherever I want, do whatever I want, go wherever I want. It's so, so freeing.

#my life #my posts #travel #solo travel

[shirefantasies]

hey hi hello!! i saw that these were open and i wanted to take part in them. new follower by the way (^_^) and happy 300 followers!!

im an introvert, usually very quiet and calm and rather hard to provoke at times. i'm easily irritated and lack patience with people who don't really think things through (though i grow warm over time as i grow tolerant in SOME cases). im very loyal and reliable as told by my friends and act similarly to a nagging aunt of sorts?? i'm rational and rather stubborn in the things i do but i relent depending on the severity of things. im also quite petty in certain cases.

i've been told it's easy to be around myself as a person, and people are really comfortable to be themselves in my presence. generally, i'm very blunt since i don't know how to phrase my words any better and some people (& even friends) at times, take the things that i say the wrong way without meaning to. i tend to get along with most people as long as they deal with the same mutual respect back.

i'm rather sarcastic and tend to tease a lot out of the fun of it. it's really easy to get me flustered, especially with flirts because the first thing i'd do is laugh and try to get out of there as soon as possible 😭 i think use both my words and actions equally since i (usually) follow up with what i say. i have tendencies to be a people watcher and observe people going about their day..

i wouldn't really consider myself the most passionate or enthusiastic person either but i really enjoy listening to those who have one. really makes me happy to see people enjoy the things they do. in a sense, i like when people have the things that i lack (energy, passion etc) i just love seeing it A TON. at times, i also have trouble in wording the things that i want to say so it ends up falling flat at times. so i wouldnt say im the most persuasive person either.

appearance wise, i'm about 5'4 and on the chubbier side of things. i have brown skin, really dark brown eyes and 4B black hair. i have small hands and lots of moles on my body but specifically i have 1 on each cheek. as for interests im really into anything that interests me since i get bored easily. most things that catch my attention are typology, videogames, music and gardening. im also learning to play the bass guitar as well. id prefer male interests from the hobbit, thank you!! hope that you have a good night/day!!

Thank you for joining the following! Hope it’s been a pleasant stay 💚 Hopefully I’ve found the right man dwarf for you when I say…

Fili!

One of your first conversations involves you rolling your eyes about having to show one of the older dwarves how to use something; Fili overhears and adds some sass and the rest is history. You’re quiet, he grants, but you provide the best commentary he’s heard beyond all the jokes with his little brother and it’s relaxing to sit by your side as you practice your instrument. Soon he begins making more normal conversation, asking things like what you want to do when this whole journey is over. You aren’t sure, you admit; you went on this quest because you were tired of simply watching life go by. “Then why not stay in the Lonely Mountain?” Fili asks. “Won’t be so lonely when we’re done with it, after all.” “What will your uncle think?” You arch a brow. “Don’t worry about him,” the golden-haired dwarf waves a hand, “I can handle him. Convince him denying outsiders is a bit elven of him, you know.” You can’t help giggling at that.

Soon you two are at each other’s sides more often, backing each other up in fights and moving in great sync. Your strikes build off his and vice versa, and he once convinces you to essentially let him toss you into the fray. You, him, and Kili are quite the menaces together! They always save you a seat between them at fireside, quips flying between you three. Kili holds you there so Fili can flirt with you, having learned you're quite a runner when you get flustered. Nice try, Fili thinks you're too cute like that!

Sometimes you get frustrated with each other, and interestingly enough it is over a shared trait- both of you are very self-sacrificing. Loyalty dominates, leading both of you to block thoughts of self out to save others and put yourselves in compromising situations and danger. The other confronts and sometimes things snap or blow up, but these are the moments when you realize how much you care about each other. Fili takes you in his arms and tells you he loves how stubborn and caring you are, but it would kill him if anything were to happen to you. It is during one of these arguments that you admit your feelings for each other, biting them out in the heat of the moment and effectively halting the argument in favor of battle by your lips instead.

He loves to cut off flustered words with a kiss to each cheek or a quick peck on your lips. Your small hands fit perfectly in his; he loves holding one between his or both to keep them warm! One of his favorite forms of affection with you, that as well as walking arm-in-arm. Fili absolutely adores your hair, too. Gorgeous curls he would be happy to learn how you care for and of course braid if you let him! At least once, so he can show the world you're his king/queen and no one else. "That's right," he adds the proud remark every time he says those words.

Your enjoyment of gardening intrigues the dwarf, who grew up with the pride of mining, jewelry-making, and chemistry in his people. Loving growing things is quite charming, bringing the prince to investigate what plants can stay underground as you move with him into your lovely mountain nook. He helps you dig up the freshest soil and buys you the most beautiful stoneware pots for your plants. Also insists on naming them, so have fun with that! It's just one of his habits, like the little jigs he does when you get playing your music. He's stubborn and silly and selfless and that is why you love him.

#the hobbit #the hobbit imagines #the hobbit x reader #the hobbit matchups #fili #fili x reader #ask #anon #requested #💕 300 follower matchup event 💕 #matchup monday

[the-sun-is-also-a-star]

Hi Sheba! I love that name btw so original and awesome, kinda like you 🤭 i hope you’ve been having a lovely day sweetheart 💗 so… since you’re in an interacting mood, can you please share with us like three or four things you love about yourself so we can love you all the more for them too 🥺👉👈

hey love! have i told you the backstory behind my name yet? its a fun one! and i think you're pretty darn original and awesome too! the boop feature was truly a godsend simply because i got to make beautiful mutuals like you!! (and im gonna need a name for you so i can give you your very own special tag)

i am having a pretty good day and this ask just made it better!! i hope you're having a lovely day too <3

ooooh 3 things i like about myself this is a tough one but I'm gonna try just for you!

1. I like my eyes! this will probably be the only physical feature on this list but i have really dark brown eyes and quite long eyelashes and a tiny little mole underneath the corner of my left eye and i think its pretty neat!

2. I love the way I love people. this one is pretty obscure i think, but when i care about people, i care about them deeply. i find it pretty hard to let people in as of late and im actually somewhat of an introvert irl, not in a shy smiles kind of way, but in an aloof, distant, comes off as intimidating kind of way. but around the people i love, i really melt and open up and i love how i am around them and i love how much i love them...if that makes sense lmao

3. I like my ability to write/talk. I've always been pretty good with words which is ironic considering how bad i am at informal conversation, but I'm an avid public speaker and i also love writing. so my ability to weave together words and to enlighten people on my way of thinking is something I'm pretty proud of!

this was such a fun and sweet ask thank you so much for it :) <3

#wow im really just yapping away in this one... #im sorry i have a tendency to ramble LMAO #asks #sheba asks #still need that name for you tag love!

[zbeez-outlet]

Just Call Me Blue

Levi x FemReader

Modern AU

Reader has Tattoos and Blue Hair

NSFW 18+ Only

Word Count: ~12k words because I can't help myself apparently

Concept: A rare night out proves to be way more interesting than the book he'd been planning to finish on his nightstand

Summary: Clubbing isn’t really his thing, but every once in a blue moon Levi lets his friends dress him up and drag him to a bar to loosen up a little, at least as much as he can. Maybe a few drinks here and there, some mindless conversation before settling the night with a shower and a warm cup of tea – at least that’s what he planned until the moment he sees flashing blue hair and a garden blooming on smooth skin. Colorful. Beautiful. Soft. Everything he’s not, but he’s suddenly curious to follow the paths of petals and leaves, to see if he can name every flower.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, Levi POV, introvert/shy reader, cursing, smut, oral (f. receiving), praise, a lot of teasing, mutual masturbation, switch Levi/reader, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, drinking (not drunk, sober consent), going home with a stranger/one-night-stand (be safe, make good choices, share your location!) (If I missed anything, please let me know!)

A/N: My first smut fic with an idea I've had for a while now! My requests are open, check out submission guidelines for more info on what kind of requests I take. This is a safe space! If you want to discuss a request, have questions, or just want to chat, my asks and messages are always open. As always, thank you to all of my readers and followers! I love hearing from you and seeing everyone interacting with my work :)

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT BELOW 18+ CONTENT

The whiskey is smooth and a little woody on his tongue, pleasantly chilled from the ice and about ninety percent of the reason he agreed to come out tonight.

Erwin bribed him with top shelf liquor and the promise of keeping Hange distracted in exchange for an hour of social interaction amid their friends and some too loud music. With nothing but a book waiting for him on his end table, Levi figured it wouldn't be too painful to humor his long-time friend. The way his shoes slide across spilled drinks and the sticky counters have him immediately regretting saying yes. A heavy hand on his shoulder is the only thing keeping him from leaving immediately.

"C'mon Levi, you gave me your word. One hour," Erwin reminds him, shouting in his ear over the clashing music and mingling voices, as if Levi forgot their deal. Didn't forget, just seriously considering rescinding his commitment.

Instead, he offers a disgusted snarl and shrugs the massive hand from his arm. "As long as you keep your end. Top shelf, open tab."

Erwin rolls his eyes, impressively enunciated by his bushy arched brows. "Of course," he says agreeably as if the request isn't entirely outrageous. "Who knows, maybe you'll meet someone tonight. Actually socialize for once."

Levi contemplates ordering an entire bottle just to spite the man.

While he may have promised to stick around for an hour, he made no such promise about indulging their mundane conversation topics or, heaven forbid, getting trapped between sweaty hormonal bodies on the dance floor. Levi keeps to the edge of the club, daring to lean against a wall that he hopes is cleaner than the tables and seats — just to be safe, he discretely wipes the surface as a last-ditch effort to protect his gray turtleneck from any possible stains.

He tries not to wince at the way the music pulses in his chest and behind his eyes as he scans the crowd. His friends have all scattered among the writhing bodies. Mike and Nanaba found a not to private corner to grind on each other, a sight that has Levi's lip curling in distaste. Everyone seems playfully drunk, not yet sloppy but loose and confident enough to not care how they dance or scream along to the music. Erwin is being crowded by a handful of bright-eyed and airily tipsy young women with flushed cheeks and wondering hands. The arch of his brow and easy smile says he doesn't mind the attention. Though clearly not all of them are interested, Levi realizes when he spots a flash of blue lingering on the outskirts of the little gathered group.

You're standing off to the side with a small furrow to your brow, hair slightly curled and brushing along the tops of your shoulders and the blue that caught his attention a moment ago. It's a soft unnatural shade, sugary like a blue raspberry slushy. You don't look particularly happy by your friends being so easily distracted by Erwin, though not mad or annoyed either. Just...awkward, like you don't know how to stand in a way that looks casual instead of uncomfortable. In one hand is a drink that you've barely touched, something dark and probably bitter if he had to guess. Your other arm is crossed protectively over your middle like you don't want to risk bumping into anyone.

He knows the feeling.

You're wearing a white sundress, which normally he wouldn't expect to be appropriate clubbing ware, but the light fabric drapes nicely over your figure, cinched at the flattering curve of your waist and flaring out over your thighs. The dress is a nice contrast to the rest of your look. He can't pick out all of the little details from this distance, but your arms, legs, and neck are covered in colors and intricate lines.

Now, Levi doesn't have any tattoos. He's never been particularly fond of the idea of permanently marking his body like that, but he could appreciate the artistry behind it.

A moment later, Levi's shaken from whatever daze had him trapped on the bright colors decorating your skin and the well-loved high-tops on your feet. It's Hange, of course, dancing manically as they drag Moblit behind them, arms waving and hips rocking with alcohol and bad rhythm. Moblit is amusingly exasperated with his partner, an indulgent smile pulling at his cheeks that quickly turns to panic when Hange's boisterous moves lead them directly into your unassuming form. Levi barely refrains from flinching when your drink topples from your grasp, spilling down the flowing skirt of your dress and dripping down your left leg. The glass doesn't shatter, which is a small mercy.

Levi has already made his way to the bar, trading his whiskey glass for a couple of clean rags, some club soda, and a cup of water before making his way over to Moblit's flustered apologies as he tries to dab your dress with soiled napkins and your gentle reassurances that it's not a big deal. Which Levi would agree that it's not a big deal if your drink hadn't been dark and your dress white.

He silently offers one of the rags soaked in the club soda, only speaking when you seem confused. "For the stain, so it doesn't set in right away." He has to lean in to be heard over the pounding pop song the DJ thought would be a good idea. The flowers blooming along your skin are far clearer at this proximately, intimately designed across the curves of your skin and bright with color. Part of him wants to trace the petals, count the leaves and name every flower that reminds him of his mother's love for the plants growing up. Most of him realizes those thoughts are creepy, especially without even knowing your name, so he pulls back entirely.

Your timidly sweet smile is enough to sway any discomfort he may have felt initially at being so close. Levi tries not to linger on the feeling of your fingers brushing his when you accept the cloth.

And then Hange is draping themself over his shoulders, smelling like Redbull and vodka, making his nose scrunch. "That's our Levi, ready and waiting to fix every mess." They pinch his cheek, risking their fingers getting caught between his teeth. "Our little clean freak."

Levi covers the flush that threatens to warm his neck by pushing Hange off of him and towards the still frazzled Moblit.

"Well, I'm grateful for the help. This is one of my favorite dresses." Your voice is only just loud enough to be heard over all the other noise. "I'm gonna head up to the bar, let them know there was a spill." You make a special point to look him the eye when you accept the glass of water he's holding out to get rid of the stickiness on your leg. "Thank you, Levi."

He likes the way you say his name, wondering a moment later what yours is.

Levi watches you thread through the crowd, dodging elbows and skipping over tripping hazards with the expertise of a well-practiced introvert. It makes him ponder what brought you here, a crowded and decidedly not introvert-friendly space. He's reminded of his and Erwin's deal, wondering if you had made a similar agreement with the friends who haven't even noticed your accident or your absence, giggling and twirling their hair between sips of lemon drops and flirty banter.

"You should go talk to her," a voice attacks his eardrum, and once again he's batting Hange's breath from his face. "C'mon, Levi, live a little! You're clearly interested!"

He frowns at the idea of being 'clearly' anything, but resolves that talking to you would be a far better way to spend the rest of his hour here than babysitting his friends or staring passively at the crowd.

When he gets back to the front, you're wiping down your left leg while idly chatting with the bartender. His eyes catch on the detailed combination of yellow sunflowers and red snapdragons intertwining from your ankle and disappearing up under the hem of your sundress. The lines are dark and the colors bright, glistening as you drag the wet rag along your skin, shadows and highlights done so professionally that for a moment he thinks he could pluck a bouquet from your skin and offer it in greeting. There are different flowers along the rest of your visible skin, intentional combinations of colors and only a handful of species he can name. He wonders what they mean beyond their vibrancy and pretty shapes, why you chose them to grace your skin forever. He wonders if your skin is really as soft as a flower petal.

Levi shakes himself from those thoughts by the time he takes the empty stool beside you, looking first to the bar tender. "Whiskey on the rocks," Levi orders, nodding when the man holds up the same brand he picked before, then he looks to you. "What are you drinking?"

You blush prettily under his gaze in what he thinks might be embarrassment or maybe just shyness. "You don't have to–"

"Think of it as repayment," he interrupts, trying to offer what he hopes is a calming twitch of his lips and not a grimace, "for the one my friend spilled all over you."

"Um, sure, that would be nice." You give out smiles easily, eyes shining in a way that has nothing to do with alcohol. Levi likes the way it teasingly flashes your teeth and dimples your cheek.

"So what'll it be?"

You pause, anxiously chewing on your lip. Levi tries not to stare. "Well, I don't go out like this often, so I had my friend choose for me. A Long Island I think, but...not really my taste. Too strong." You wince like it's a crime not to like a drink.

It sounds like your friend just wanted to get you drunk, regardless of your tastes.

"How about something sweeter?" He offers, already running through a list of the drinks he knows Hange likes when they're in an especially festive mood. When the bar tender places his whiskey down in front of him, Levi taps the counter. "You have stuff for a Melon Ball?" When he nods, Levi orders one for you and adds it to his tab. Well, Erwin's tab.

"What's in a Melon Ball?"

"Sweet Midori, which is like a concentrated melon juice infused with liquor, some orange juice, and only about a shot of vodka. Very sweet, not super strong. I think you'll like it."

You gift him another smile and he wonders if he should start counting how many he can pull from you tonight. "I look forward to trying it then, Levi."

While waiting for your drink, Levi wonders how he can keep the conversation going. Not that the silence is bad, it's actually strangely comfortable, but he also finds he likes the sound of your voice. "You mentioned you don't go out often," he starts in what he hopes is a casual tone. "This a special occasion or just peer pressure?"

"A little of both, if I'm honest." You stop there, fiddling with your fingers in a way that shows you're a little anxious, out of your element. But you're still smiling, the curve of your lips genuine enough that he's sure it's not out of curtesy.

He tries something that he hopes is a little less invasive. "What should I call you?"

"Call me?"

"You know my name's Levi, obviously. What about you?" Levi sips at his whiskey, eyeing the way your blue hair tickles your cheeks and hides your face just enough from him to be shy. "Doesn't even have to be your real name if you don't want. You could be anyone."

You hum, clearly thinking about the pros and cons of sharing your real name. He's curious, of course, but he's not about to force anything out of you. "You can call me..."

"What about Blue?" Levi dares to reach out, twirling some of your hair on his finger. It's softer than he thought chemically colored hair would be. Like silk ribbons. He drops the strip before he accidently gives into the urge to run his fingers through the rest of your hair, surely a step too far at this stage, though he can't quite hide his smirk at the pink spreading across your cheeks.

"Um, yeah...yeah, that's fun. Blue," you repeat as if to taste the name on your tongue. "Just call me Blue."

When the bar tender sets the Melon Ball on the counter in front of you, he offers you both a sly grin before moving onto the next drunk guy slurring for another round of shots for him and his friends. The drink is an electric green color and smells like sugar, promising to stain tongues. Levi watches with an encouraging lift of his brow as you hold the glass and take a generous swallow, cartoonishly giving the drink an honest try.

Your lips pucker and you giggle, tongue darting out to lick an excess drop at the corner of your mouth that he suddenly wants to taste, knowing it'd be sugary with syrup. "Wow, that's delicious." He pretends not to notice your little satisfied sigh.

"Better than the Long Island?"

"Dangerously better."

He muffles a huff of amusement behind the rim of his glass, taking another slow woody sip of his whiskey. "So, Blue," you playfully scoff at his emphasis on the new name, "what are we celebrating?"

"Hmm?" You hum around another sip, tilting your head curiously.

"The special occasion?"

"Oh! Right, um, just a promotion at work." You wave off the accomplishment, tracing the rim of your glass with a delicate finger. "I think they all just wanted an excuse to get wasted, so I promised them one drink. Now here I am."

You raise your glass, smile brightening when he clinks his whiskey to your melon ball in a little toast. "Here you are," he repeats lowly, almost as if he hadn't meant to say it. "I made a deal too. One hour to get them off my back." Levi points over his shoulder, rolling his eyes at how easy it is to spot his friends, towering and drunk and verging on sloppy.

"They seem...fun," you offer kindly, barely holding back a chuckle at the way Hange commands the dance floor.

"That's a very nice way of saying they need to be institutionalized." When you laugh this time, it's with your whole body. Head thrown back, shoulders shaking, teeth shining. Levi wishes he could sneak a picture, but the moment's passed before he could even finish the thought.

"At least they keep life interesting!"

"There is that," Levi hums, lips pursing because you're not wrong. Dullness is certainly rare, especially where Hange and their antics are concerned.

You turn more completely towards him, bare knee brushing against his dark slacks. Your legs are crossed daintily, orange and red on the left contrasting beautifully with the violet and blue petals clustered among green leaves on your right leg. Hydrangeas and lavender he thinks, with a smattering of white baby's breath. Some of his mother's favorites. A rainbow of different kinds of flowers bloom from your wrists to over your shoulders, though they fade into grayscale roses from your collar and up the slope of your neck.

"An hour, huh? I could spread one drink over an hour," you mutter shyly, an almost coy smile pulling at your syrupy slick lips. Levi unconsciously licks his own, craving something sweet.

Levi dares to shift a little closer, the warmth of your legs bleeding into his own, and he leans forward so he doesn't have to compete so much with the crowds and the music. The way you mimic him, resting your chin on your palm and bending closer as if to share a secret, shows him that he hasn't overstepped any boundaries. "We have a promotion to celebrate, after all. What do you–"

"Oh oh oh, wait! I want you to guess!" You bounce in your seat, biting your lip to contain an excited smile.

He raises a brow. "Guess?"

"You were going to ask what I do, right? We can be anyone, just like you said." Your eyes shine, and Levi is having trouble looking away. "You make up Blue, and I'll make up a whole new Levi!"

It's a silly, juvenile little game, but he can't find a reason to brush it off or tell you no. Not with your dimpled cheek that he wants to kiss or the anxious twist of your hands. "I'll start," he decides, tapping his glass.

You nod, sitting up straight in your seat to pose. Shoulders back, chin up, grinning as you overplay the part and wait for his assessment. Levi looks you up and down, less so because of any possible clues about your job than because he wants to follow the paths of vines and leaves and petals along your skin. The easy answer is tattoo artist, but that feels too simple, too expected.

"You're a cook in a fancy French kitchen, recently promoted to Sous Chef," he eventually announces, a proud smirk curving his cheek at the surprised laugh that bubbles from your chest. "Was I close?"

"Doesn't matter, tonight I'm Blue," you raise your glass in another toast, smile wide, "and Blue is a sous chef, apparently." You take a sip and he spots the green tinting your tongue. "Alright, alright, my turn!"

He strikes a similar pose, sitting strong in his chair. He shivers at the way your eyes drag across his form, wondering if you felt the same heat, the same intensity under his gaze as he does under yours. You seem the slightest bit flustered, shy and teasing at the same time. "Thoughts?"

"A hand model."

Levi pauses, not expecting such a specific response. He'd been prepared for something a little more mundane, like an accountant or something as equally boring. "A hand model? What makes you say that?"

And then you're touching him, reaching for his wrist and running your thumbs along his palm. "You have beautiful hands," you say softly, he wouldn't have heard you if he hadn't been so close, so hung up on your every word. "An artist's hands. Slender, elegant. I can imagine you doing ads for watches or rings."

His skin feels electric under the pressure of your fingers, quick to hold your hand in a gentle grasp when you go to pull away. You see beauty in his hands, he's not ready to let that go just yet. "I like it."

Your cheeks dimple prettily and he's once against struck with the urge to press his lips there, to feel the dip and the softness of your skin. You don't pull back or ask him to let go, which he would in a heartbeat if you did, instead your palm settles nicely against his own, warm and welcoming and his just for this moment.

You hum, a low melodic sound that Levi feels in his own chest, and you tap his shin with your worn converse to break the distracted lull you've both fallen into. "So, where does Blue live?"

That's how the two of you spend the hour, coming up with little details for your made up selves. Heads bent conspiratorially close, trading small laughs and outrageous whispers. You never let go of his hand, even when he squeezes every now and then. Tracing your knuckles and the inked petals on your wrist. Dahlias and carnations and lilies of all colors. You just smile and blush and come up with some new hobby for this alternate version of himself.

According to him, Blue lives in a small cottage in a village just outside of the city. She enjoys commuting to work by train, listening to classical music while she sketches everything from other people on the train to the passing scenery to little nonsensical doodles. She has a vegetable garden that she cares for religiously, most proud of her tomatoes and peppers. And a cat named Sprite that curls up on her shoulders and keeps the mice from her produce.

You ooh and ahh at his construction of your character for the night, not giving away how close he may be to the truth but clearly enjoying the spin of his words.

According to you, Levi lives in one of those big and fancy two-story apartments in the heart of the city. Sleek, modern styles that are easy to keep clean and organized — clearly you took note of Hange's comment about him being a 'clean freak.' But you take it in stride, not turned off by the quality but rather spinning it into a trait to be proud of. He scoffs when you declare he drives a motorcycle, swallowing any confessions with a gulp of whiskey. You confidently say he has a secret love for romance novels that he buries under annotated copies of notable classics and heavy mystery books. And you're convinced he can play the piano, twiddling with his fingers when you say it.

It's all sweet words and lingering stares between the two of you. Levi can't help but watch as you get closer and closer to finishing your drink, an anxious disappointment settling deep in his gut that your time together is almost up. He wonders if you'd let him kiss you before disappearing into the crowd and back to your life away from the little fantasies you've built between intertwined hands.

"Looks like that's your one drink," he says when you finish the last few drops of melon liquor, trying not to sound as disheartened as he feels. "And it's the end of my hour."

You pout, bottom lip jutting out that he wants to suck between his teeth. "I guess you're right," you sigh, leaning into his palm when he risks tucking a wayward strand of bright blue behind your ear. "I should probably wrangle the others anyway."

"Or..." he says before he can stop himself, biting down on the sudden desperation between his teeth, "just let them have their fun for the night."

"And what about me?" There's an expectancy in your voice, like you know what he's implying but you're afraid to assume anything.

"Well, and feel free to tell me to fuck off if this is too forward, but we could leave...together?" The request comes out hesitant, unsure in a way he's not used to feeling, and Levi barely holds back a wince.

"Together...where?"

"I, um, I live near here. We could walk..." Levi stops, rolling his eyes at himself and pulling away to put some space between the two of you. "And now I'm hearing how creepy and murdery that sounds."

"No no no," you ramble, reaching again for his arm with an amused teeth-shining smile. He leans into your hold. "I mean, maybe a little, but it's kind of hard not to sound that way these days with all of the horror stories we hear about. Everything is a red flag, even kindness. Especially kindness. But, I like you…kind of a lot, and I don’t want to stop being with you tonight, not yet.”

“Yeah?”

"Yeah." Your eyes drop to his lips and flicker back up to his gaze, his heart fluttering at the quick movement. "I'm choosing to trust you, so don't murder me okay? Let me just tell my friends I'm going so they don't freak out."

He nods, watching you track down one of your friends with an extra little skip in your step. It makes the skirt of your dress ruffle around your thighs and he decides staring isn't the worse crime he's ever committed. Your friends all squeal obnoxiously, hugging you and kissing your cheeks, peaking over at him in very not subtle ways. Levi waves with the softest scowl he has, lip curling when they squeal again. You pull a phone from a hidden pocket in your skirt that he hadn't even noticed, exchanging a few more words and motioning to the screen — he assumes you're sharing your location with them just in case, which is a precaution he respects. He offers a gentle smile as you make your way back towards him, holding out his hand with a small hope to lace your fingers together.

You do.

Levi quickly grabs his jacket from the small coat check at the entrance of the bar, immediately draping it around your shoulders when he realizes you didn't bring a coat. His place is only a few blocks away, but it's night and cold and maybe it's also an excuse to be close to you. He looks above your head as he helps you adjust the sleeves, making eye contact with a grinning Erwin and a bouncing Hange, rolling his eyes and flipping them off as a goodbye.

He should prepare for an interrogation in the morning.

You grab his hand again, threading your fingers through his and walking close enough that your shoulders brush with every step. Neither of you speak much during the walk, save the mumbled directions Levi lets out every now and then. Partly due to a shared nervous feeling, an almost thrilling anticipation for where the night could lead. And partly because the silence is as comfortable as the conversation had been, soft and mutual like you've known each other for years instead of an hour.

It takes about twenty minutes to get to his building, enough time that any lasting effects of the alcohol fade in the chill and the movement. The walk is nice, a handful of cross streets with very little traffic and lanterns lighting the paths. You're humming some little tune under your breath that he likes the sound of.

He leads you up the initial stairs into the lobby of his building, a modest brick structure with only a handful of tenants. The units are spacious and reasonably priced, and he's fond of the quietness in the neighborhood. Every now and then he looks towards you to see if you've changed your mind, if you seem scared or hesitant or uncomfortable, and every time you gift him another one of your soft smiles and squeeze his hand.

In the elevator, you stand close enough that Levi wonders if you can feel the beat of his heart. Racing in his chest, just behind his ribs. He really hopes his hand isn't sweaty. You're warm and soft at his side, and part of Levi is desperate to touch you, to learn the petals traced into your skin, to know you beyond the fun little stories you made up together.

"This is me," he almost whispers, stopping in front of his door. Levi's a bit hesitant to go inside, wondering for a brief moment if the Levi you created back at the bar is more impressive than his modest living. If he'll disappoint you before even crossing the threshold.

"Levi," you call, and he decides this is the moment you change your mind. You'll offer a placative smile, say some nice words, and disappear entirely from his life. He braces himself. "I just want to...know your expectations before we go inside."

"Nothing," he says immediately. Hopes? Maybe. Wants? Absolutely. But he could never expect you to do anything you don't want to do.

"You sure?"

"Of course." Levi pauses, swallowing the eagerness building in his throat when he catches you staring at his lips again. "Do you...expect anything?"

"No!" It's a little too quick, a little too loud, and you grimace. "I mean, not really. Obviously, you shouldn't feel like you have to do anything you don't want to," you ramble, playing with his fingers that are still in your hold. He can't help the slightest amused tilt to his lips that you're still staring at. "It's just - well, I could have just asked for your number if...if all I wanted to do was talk."

Levi's tongue darts out, licking his bottom lip, eyes locked on the soft curve of your cheek that he's wanted to kiss since your first smile of the night. He leans forward, breath shallow as it ghosts along your skin, lips skimming the soft surface like silk. He revels in the stuttered gasp you let out.

"Can I kiss you?" He purrs in your ear, delighting in the little whimper you can't hold back. Levi draws back, bravely bumping his nose against yours and meeting your shining eyes.

You take a deep shaky breath. "Yes."

So he does. And suddenly he never wants to stop.

Your lips are soft, so so soft. He knew they would be, plush and malleable beneath his own. As welcoming and warm as your smiles. Levi starts slow, savoring the sweet sugary taste of the lingering melon liquor, suckling your bottom lip with gentle pressure. He raises his free hand not still laced with yours, trailing his fingertips along the curve of your jaw until he can cup the base of your head and hold you steady against the brush of his lips. You moan beneath his touch, wrapping an arm around his waist until you're pressed together from hip to forehead.

Levi's momentarily startled when he feels your lips part first, tongue darting out to lick along the seem of his lips. He opens up to you, tongue eagerly chasing the sweet craving he's had since that first sip of the electric green drink. Your tongues dance, caressing each other with exploratory strokes, fighting for dominance for only a moment before Levi pushes into your mouth. He traces along your teeth and the roof of your mouth, tangling with your tongue in a way that leaves him tingling all over. Wanting more. Wanting whatever you're willing to give him.

And then he remembers you're still in the hallway, free for anyone to stumble upon. He pulls back reluctantly, pecking your lips again and again as you stifle desperate little whimpers against his skin. Your breaths mix, noses tapping. He keeps his forehead pressed to yours when he speaks.

"You are just...so beautiful." His words are airy, rising and falling with the deep weight of his chest and his want. He tucks another wayward blue strand behind your ear. "Do you want to go inside, Blue?"

You peck his lips again and this time he feels your smile more than he sees it. "Yes please," you whisper against him.

His key embarrassingly slips twice before he manages to unlock the door, a needy anticipation simmering under his skin and prickling with every touch of your fingers despite the thick layer of his turtleneck in the way. He wants it off to directly feel the press of your fingers and your lips and your warmth, but he wants your dress off more if you'll let him.

When he finally gets the door open in the wake of your giggles and his mumbled curses, you both stumble inside with all of the elegance of two tipsy teenagers despite the little amount of alcohol you actually had.

He drops the coat from your shoulders first, hanging it on the hook by your head when he gets caught in your eyes. Pupils blown wide, lips kiss swollen. The air feels thick between you, a heat he doesn't think he's ever felt before, let alone this fast. He wants to chase it to the ends of the Earth.

Levi skims his fingertips across the roses blooming along your collar and the rest of the garden growing from your shoulders all the way down to your wrists. He can name a couple more to add to the collection, orchids and what he thinks are bluebells along the curves of your muscles. The neckline of your dress is low, sewn with intricate lace patterns and held up with flimsy thin straps. He presses kisses over your bare shoulder and up the column of your throat, licking at your pulse fluttering under the petals on your skin. You gasp and sigh, tilting back to give him more access and gripping at his forearms with a longing he mirrors in his heady caresses.

It takes all of his strength to step back, to give up the taste of your skin for even a second. "Shoes off." The whisper is a shattering scream in the wake of your kisses and whimpers and subtle moans that leave him buzzing for more. Levi kneels down before you've even processed his words, slightly dazed from his attention, puffing his chest with pride. Starting with the left, he unlaces your shoe and delicately holds your ankle in his palm while he removes it to set by the door. He goes slower with the right, massaging the muscle of your calf and brazenly kissing the bundle of baby's breath at the inner curve of your knee.

"Levi..." Your voice fractures under his touches, eyes hooded as you look down at him. His name has never sounded so intoxicating. He wants to hear all the ways you could moan his name.

Levi stands quickly, hands grabbing for your waist when he goes for another deep kiss. Searching for your tongue and your taste and your smile.

"Blue..." he groans in a spare breath when your hands come up to wrap around his shoulders, fingers scratching the short hairs of his undercut. You do it again and he swallows the mortifying keen building in his throat. Levi nudges a knee between your legs, hands stroking your sides and itching to pull away your dress. "Bedroom?"

"Yeah, yes," you nod against his cheek, lips dancing across the sharp edge of his jaw. Levi lowers his hands, briefly skimming the flattering curve of your ass and splaying over the backs of your thighs. He lifts you easily, smirking at the squeak that leaves your throat when he encourages you to wrap your legs around his waist.

He kicks off his shoes before he forgets, walking you both passed the kitchen and living room towards his bedroom at the end of the hall. Taking advantage of your height over him, he latches back onto your throat to taste your pulse. He finds a sensitive spot just behind your ear, the only non-floral tattoo on the canvas of your skin. So far anyway. A tiny honeybee, all fuzzy and yellow and thriving amid the pollen of your tattoo collection. The sound you make when he grazes his teeth along the sensitive flesh behind your ear is his new favorite, a high whine that leaves you breathless and keening.

"More, please Levi," you moan into his ear. His pants twinge, stiffening with want and need for your sounds, your skin, your taste.

Levi traces the shell of your ear with his tongue. "I'll take care of you, Baby Blue." You shiver in his arms, legs quivering around his hips before he's even properly touched you. And, God, does he want to touch you.

He's grateful for the dimmer switch in his bedroom, keeping the lights low and warm. Enough to shine golden across your skin. Levi drops you onto the foot of his bed, chasing the feel of your giggles on his lips and pressing you into his soft downy comforter. Your hands are on his neck, scratching at the base of his scalp and pulling him closer. Lips languid and slick, tongues tasting each other. Levi's leaning over you, hands dancing from your arms and down your sides, squeezing at the gentle curves of your waist and tracing the sensitive flesh of your thighs still wrapped around his torso.

He rolls his hips into yours, swallowing your delicious moan with a matching groan of his own. Levi feels flushed all over, heartbeat thundering across every plain of his body.

You pull away from the kiss first, throwing your head back to catch your breath as he continues littering kisses along your collar, your throat, your jaw. He finds that spot behind your ear again, blowing cool air over the wet trail left behind from his tongue.

"Can I go down on you, Baby Blue?" Levi asks with a stuttered breath, squeezing your thighs and rolling his hips again.

"Can...what?" You stop, which makes him stop. He pulls back, meeting your wide startled eyes with a raised brow of his own

"Go down on you? You know, eat you out, oral sex, lick your–"

"I know what it is!" You laugh, playfully slapping his shoulder when his fingers tickle your sides to keep the sound going. He loves the way you laugh with your whole body, just like at the bar. Head thrown back, shoulders shaking with your mirth. Your hair halos around your head, a crown of soft woven sapphires that Levi wants to run through his fingers.

"So," he pecks your cheek, grinning salaciously against your skin, "can I?"

You bite your lip, that familiar shyness bleeding back into your face. "No one's ever...I've never – um..."

Levi offers the softest smile he can, caressing your heated cheek with his thumb. Hiding his frustration that no one's ever treated you well this way, hoping to be the first. "I won't if you don't want me to, but," he pauses, holding the weight of your gaze with his own, "I think it'll feel good. I want to make you feel good. Can I? Please?"

Your eyes glisten, pupils blown. He waits patiently, relaxing you with the gentle press of his fingers on your neck, your shoulders, your cheeks. You lean into his palm, kissing the pulse of his wrist. "Please, Levi," you sigh, the words puffing against his skin, "make me feel good."

"My pleasure." He grins, lowering those few inches to touch your lips together once again. This kiss is unhurried, almost lazy in the way your lips move together. Levi trails down your chin, your jaw, your throat. He licks across the lace of your dress's neckline, lingering on your heartbeat decorated with honeysuckles and daisies. His nose and his fingers trace the fabric of your dress as he lowers himself over the supple curve of your chest, hoping to spend more time there later, and down the soft slope of your stomach.

Levi drops to his knees, encouraging you to scoot to the edge of the bed. "We can stop at any time," he assures, meeting your eyes with purpose. "If it doesn't feel good or you're uncomfortable, just say the word. Okay?"

"Okay," you breathe, clearly hesitant. But there's a glint of excitement, of warm lust and want in your gaze that he knows is reflected in his own silver eyes.

He starts with his hands, rubbing deep circles into your ankles and your calves. "Just relax," Levi puffs against your skin, lips following the dips and shapes of the sunflower on the side of your left knee as he kneads the tense muscles in your legs. He switches sides, sucking at the petals of a blue hydrangea on your right leg, fingers moving up under the hem of your dress. He slowly raises your skirt, nudging your legs further apart to pepper your inner thighs with kitten licks and soft kisses that make you sigh beautifully.

You made a bold choice tonight with black panties under a white dress, a little bow delicately sewn into the lace border. His eye catches the slightly darker patch at the center of your underwear, hiding his smirk amid a cluster of red snapdragons. He sucks at their petals, darkening their color with his lips and his tongue. You sigh shakily above him, fingers curling into the duvet.

"Good so far?" He checks in, dancing his fingers across the lace edges of your panties.

You nod, choking on a breath when he runs his tongue along the seam of your thigh. "Yeah, Levi, so good."

"Keep telling me, okay Blue? How good my kisses feel." He presses his lips just above that little bow on your panties. "My hands." He kneads your inner thighs, spreading them just a bit wider and brushing the goosebumps on your skin. "My tongue." Levi flattens his tongue on that precious growing wet patch, moaning when your fingers tangle in his hair, your breathless keen music to his ears.

"Oh my god, Levi," you whimper as he slowly laps at your covered pussy, hips moving against his mouth. "Feels good, so so good."

He presses his palm on your abdomen, halting your little thrusts with a gentle pressure. His thumb dips under the top of your panties, rubbing at the sensitive skin there. "Can I take these off, Baby Blue?"

"Mhmm, please Levi," you whine, hips stuttering under his hand. "Wanna feel you, wanna feel good."

"I'll make you feel so good, pretty girl, I promise." Levi kisses your covered pussy one last time, fingers slipping under the elastic and pulling them down your legs. He tosses them somewhere to the side without much thought now that you're bare in front of him.

Levi hooks his arms under the bends of your knees, lifting them comfortably onto his shoulders so he can get closer without straining your hips. "Such a pretty pussy, baby girl," he breathes over your lower lips, diverting to kiss at the bare seam of your right thigh again, licking at a blossoming lavender flower.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, prettiest pussy I've ever seen," he promises into your skin. The sight of your folds, wet and puffy and waiting for him, has a lustful ache building between his own legs. "And you're all mine tonight, Baby Blue, all mine."

He focuses around your most sensitive part first, licking at your mound, kissing the outer lips of your pussy with a tenderness that leaves you wet and aching before him. Generously, Levi lays a teasing kiss on the hood of your clit, delighting in the sudden jerk of your hips and the high squeal you can't muffle with your lips.

You wine, desperately trying to wiggle your hips against the pressure of his hand and his lips. "Stop teasing, Levi..." you trail off in a sudden gasp when his tongue flattens against your pussy, licking from the base and flexing up to your bundle of nerves. Your hand flies to your mouth, muffling those beautiful sounds he wants to hear so much.

Levi stops, pulling back from your intoxicating taste. Sweet, a little salty, uniquely you. He almost laughs at your frustrated groan. "Let me hear all your pretty little sounds, Baby Blue. Helps me know what feels good."

Your hand drops back to the bed, fingers curling and lovely moans shaking your chest when his lips wrap around your clit. He sucks at your nerves, swirling the hardened tip of his tongue all over your bud. Your thighs quake around his head, trying to close from the pleasure but held apart by his shoulders while his palms keep your hips still. Levi lowers his mouth, lapping at your wetness, savoring your taste. He kisses your pussy like he kisses your mouth, languid and thorough and repeating the motions that have your legs spasming and your voice high. His tongue pistons into your wet velvety walls, starting slow until you're begging him to go faster, harder.

The slick between your thighs coats his lips, his chin. You're dripping with want and pleasure that he swallows like a man starved. When he licks back up to your clit, covering the sensitive bud of nerves with his lips, he moans. You shoot up, gasping at the vibrations of his voice on your clit, fingers carding through his hair and pulling. He groans at the sting, eyes rolling and tongue licking more fervently.

"Levi Levi Levi," you ramble, trembling under his fingers and his lips. He grips your thighs tighter. "So close, Levi, 'm so close...gonna cum, gonna–"

"Cum for me, Blue, wanna feel you cum on my tongue." Levi sucks firmly at your clit, head shaking back and forth in a way that has you wailing through your first orgasm of the night and your hips bucking repeatedly against his hold.

"Fuck fuck fuck, Levi so good, so – fuck!" You dissolve into unintelligible moans and murmurs and praises, legs shaking, fingers gripping at his scalp. He rides you through it, lapping at your folds and slurping up your slick, chasing the sound of those delicious moans like his life depends on it. As you rut against his mouth, Levi's right hand releases your quaking thigh and moves towards your entrance. He gathers your slick and easily slides his finger into the plush of your gummy walls. "Ah ah! Nnngh, Levi..."

He kisses your inner thighs, left hand massaging your lower abdomen to help you relax from his intrusion. "Gonna stretch you out all nice for me, pretty girl. Prep you for my cock, okay?" His finger thrusts into you slowly, getting you used to the feeling. Curling up with every push inward, probing your walls for that spongy spot he knows will make you see stars.

You whine, hips wiggling and breath shaking. "Nnngh want more Levi, so good...want, want–"

"What do you want, my Baby Blue? Tell me."

"Wanna cum, cum again, ah ah! Want...'nother finger, want your fingers Levi."

"Only good girls get another finger. You're so tight for me, Blue. So wet and perfect. You gonna be my good girl?"

"Yes!" You gasp, trying to push towards the second finger teasing at your entrance. "Yes Levi, 'm good – your good girl, your Baby Blue! Please, please—!"

Levi grins against your thigh, his own hips straining and bucking with want as he slips a second finger into your heat. Your juices have puddled in his palm, slicking his knuckles. "So so good for me, pretty girl," he moans, adding a third finger to stretch you nicely and picking up his pace when you keen, little mumbled praises slipping from your lips. He hooks his fingers, finally finding that special rough spot inside you that has you crying out in pleasure. "Right there, baby girl? That the spot?"

"Yes yes yes! Fuck right there, don't stop, don't stop, please don't stop, Levi—!"

His fingers curl and rub, focusing on that sensitive rough patch, and his lips latch back onto your clit. He sucks your bundle of nerves, tongue swirling the hardened bud as he fingers your wet pussy. The only sounds in the room are your broken moans of pleasure and the wet squelching of his fingers and tongue. Existing between your thighs is his new favorite place to be, soft and pliable and warm.

Levi hadn't planned for the night to go this way, hadn't planned to find someone beautiful and kind and funny. Someone that could have such a chokehold on his heart and his mind and his body in just an hour. Part of him is terrified for the night to end, for the sun to chase away the sultry shadows of this night, for you to tell him this one night between your thighs is all he'll get. He savors your taste, your sounds, the feel of you beneath his fingers like little treasures and smothers the hope of someday knowing your real name.

Being in the moment is far better than those confusing thoughts.

You fall over that precarious pleasurable edge when he moans around your clit and his fingers brush inside you just so. This one is clearly stronger than the first, and he watches in awe as your thighs shake and your hips convulse, head thrown back in ecstasy as you groan and whimper through your orgasm. His movements slow, now languid firm strokes to draw out the euphoria as long as he can. Flat lazy laps of his tongue and drawn out motions of his fingers as you gush from the intensity of it all.

It isn't until you're pushing at his head, hips jerking from the aftershocks, that Levi releases your pussy from his ministrations with a satisfying pop, giving your clit a last peck. A 'see you later' kind of kiss. His fingers slip easily from your walls and he licks the last of your slick from his lips and his fingertips, swiping the back of his hand across his chin.

Grinning salaciously as he watches you catch your breath, Levi rubs your still shaking thighs, leaning up to kiss from your jaw and up towards his favorite spot behind your ear. "How was that?" He breathes softly, ghosting the words across your forehead.

You laugh, pressing close, fingers laced together over the short hairs of his undercut. "That was perfect, absolutely perfect."

This time, you kiss him first. He knows you can taste yourself on his tongue, the air between you heady and thick with tension. Your hands wander down the back of his clothed neck, over his shoulders, and settle at his waist. You bunch the fabric of his sweater, tugging upwards with a new desperation in the wake of your orgasms.

He grins against your mouth, helping you untuck the fabric from his dark slacks. While he separates from the kiss long enough to pull off the sweater, your fingers are busy at his belt and the button of his pants. The turtleneck is cast aside, the belt following. Levi stands to step out of the slacks, now bare in front of you except for a modest pair of black boxer briefs.

Now, Levi's always been pretty proud of his body and for good reason. He works hard to take care of himself and it shows in the firm plains of his chest, the chisel of his abdomen, the strong muscles in his thighs and calves. He's lean but strong, skin unblemished besides a handful of scars life thought important to grant him. He has every reason to be proud of his body...

Yet, as you stare at him with dark eyes he cannot read, Levi swallows the sudden nervous energy building in his throat. Not to mention the way you linger a little too long on the obvious bulge in his briefs. He fights the urge to cross his arms or reach for a blanket. Instead, he forces a false confidence into the cadence of his voice.

"See something you like?" He hates the words as soon as they're out of his mouth, sounding arrogant and awkward and wrong. But you laugh, so he counts that as some kind of win.

You reach forward, still seated on the edge of the bed with your dress now resettled over your thighs, and rest your hands on his waist. Your thumbs rub tiny circles in the V of his hips. You stand, now chest to chest with him. His skin burns under your fingertips, ripples of goosebumps immediately alighting across his body as you dare to explore. Pressing delicate shapes into his abs, ticklishly skimming his sides, tracing letters he can't focus on into his pec just over the beat of his racing heart. Levi's eyes slip closed, just relishing in your touches.

"I think you're beautiful, Levi." He feels the words in your breath as it ghosts over the sharp ridge of his collarbone, itching to lean a millimeter forward to feel your lips on his skin. "Since the moment I saw you under those flashing lights," you kiss up the column of his throat so lightly he wonders if he imagined the softness of your lips, "coming to my rescue with club soda and napkins. You made me so nervous."

Levi sighs at your gentle touches, relishing in your sensual words and the way they paint praises into his skin. "Nervous? Why?" He can't even be embarrassed by the deep heavy breaths he needs to speak, anticipation building the more you touch him so achingly slow.

"Because you're clearly out of my league."

"Hardly!" He scoffs, cracking his eyes open to find you already watching him, smile teasing yet somehow tender at the same time. Air catches in his throat.

You raise a hand, fingers gliding through the fringe across his forehead, messy from your desperate grip just a few minutes ago. Your palm rests on his cheek, his lips seeking the pink dahlia on your wrist. "I think you might just be out of everyone's league."

He wants to argue, to spew poetry about how lovely you are, to use words that are far too inappropriate for the few hours you've known each other. Instead of falling victim to that humiliation, Levi recaptures your mouth with his own. The kiss is needy and firm and you reciprocate just as enthusiastically. Your hands roam each other's bodies, feeling everywhere but never feeling enough. You tug him closer by the hips, and Levi gasps as you press against the hardening heat in his pelvis.

Without him even realizing, you've switched positions with him and he startles for only half a second when you push him onto the bed. The shocking moment passes when you climb on top of him, and all he can think about is the way you straddle his hips, the way your white sundress cascades over his dark bedding, the way your blue hair curtains around him when you lean down to kiss him. All the ways you consume him in the curl of your smile and the warm shine of your eyes.

Your hips roll over his hardness, making him groan deep in his throat. "Wait wait wait," he stammers, scrambling to still your movement against every want in his body. You stop, leaning back with a concern so raw and compassionate that his chest aches. "You didn't do anything wrong," Levi assures quickly, caressing your cheek. His lips quirk up. "Maybe a little too right, actually."

Eyes flickering over his face, you nod at the honesty he pushes to the forefront. "Then what?" He can feel the way your thighs tremble impatiently.

Instead of answering, Levi braces you on his lap with one hand, stretching the other towards the drawer of his nightstand. He rummages for a moment until his fingers lock on the foil square he was looking for. "Didn't want to get too caught up in the moment," he mumbles, dropping the condom onto the comforter by his head for easy access.

Your eyes are hooded, flashing between him and the condom with a speed that has his heart thundering. "Bit presumptuous, hmm?"

"You think so?" He rolls his hips beneath you, both of you groaning at the much needed friction on your cores. Levi curses his briefs, the only fabric between your heats, wishing he could feel you bare against him.

Something like fire burns in your eyes, hands roaming his chest. When your nails scrape along his pecs, you clearly notice the way he shutters beneath you. And when you graze over his nipples with the pads of his fingers, you smirk at the little keening sounds he tries to swallow. You lean down, running your tongue along the subtle red marks left behind be your nails, wrapping your lips around his right nipple while your fingers tweak the left. It's a sensation he's not used to, the tingling warmth that comes from you playing with his nipples, but he likes it. Likes the little sparks of pleasure that shoot from your lips sucking the pebbled bud down to his hardened length. His hips buck up into you.

You switch sides, humming around his left nipple, fingers scratching at his abs. "You're so soft, Levi," you murmur against his skin. "Could spend all night just touching you like this."

And he wants you to, he wants that more than almost anything. Anything except to feel you. His fingers dance impatiently at your dress. "Can I take this off, huh Baby Blue? Let me see you? Touch you?"

At your nod, Levi is quick to sit you both up. He gathers the laced cotton fabric. bunching it up around your hips before slowly lifting the sundress up. There are bouquets on your hips he hadn't noticed before, too beautifully distracted to catalog the newest flowers on your skin. White chrysanthemums and purple hyacinths on your left hip contrasted with the vibrant orange marigolds and white magnolia's on the right. You raise your arms so he can fully remove the dress, fingers immediately going to the clasp of your simple white bra before he can take the honor. When the fabric drops away, he's as drawn to your exposed skin and pert nipples as he is to the the banner of dandelions and daffodils that decorate the undersides of your breasts. You seem suddenly shy, wrapping your arms around yourself to hide from him.

He kneads his thumbs into your biceps, pressing his lips to your forehead. "You're a work of art, Blue. Every part of you sculpted perfectly. I wish you wouldn't hide from me." Levi kisses your cheeks next, the tip of your nose, your jaw, your chin, and finally your lips in a chaste sensual touch. "Would it help if...you weren't the only one naked?"

His briefs are still on, the last barrier. It feels like the final line to cross. But you nod, fingers already hooking into the elastic. Levi raises his hips and helps you pull the last bit of cloth from his body and tosses them aside with the rest of your clothes.

You're staring again and he now understands why you covered yourself, fighting the urge to do the same.

Before he can overthink, you're reaching down to wrap a hand around his length, making him choke on whatever words he was going to say. He doesn't remember, only the warmth and softness of your hand clouding his mind. Levi's cock isn't huge, but he is long, slightly curved towards the tip and well groomed. Your grip is firm, not too tight but squeezes him just enough to feed that burning ache, and he cries out when your thumb brushes the weeping red head. His hips buck without his permission as you spread his prespend along his length.

The extra slick helps you move faster, now jerking him off with an enthusiastic flourish. Your thumb focuses on a particularly sensitive vein on the underside of his cock, threatening his flimsy restraint when you start whispering sweet little nothings against his ear. "You feel so good, so hard for me Levi. All for me, right? All mine tonight?"

"Yeah, yeah all for you...ah—!" Levi whimpers when your other hand goes down to squeeze his balls, that familiar tightness building deep in his core.

To keep from losing control entirely and blowing his load before he's even been inside you, Levi distracts himself with your heaving chest right in front of his face. He kisses your sternum first, lathing at the skin between your breasts because it's bare of ink and so so smooth. He sucks a mark into the skin there, tongue tracing the heated inflamed hickey with a possessiveness he shouldn't feel this fast. Your hands are still busy between his legs, tugging him, rubbing him, making his vision blur with pleasure.

Levi gives your chest the same treatment you gave his. Licking and tweaking your nipples with his lips and his fingers. Sucking more little marks into your breasts. His fingers trace the sensitive underside of your chest, cupping your breasts gently and squeezing to hear those musical moans of yours.

"Condom, Levi, get the condom. Want you inside me," you sigh into his ear, hips wiggling as your hands still piston around his cock.

The condom is in his hand before he's even thought to move, tearing open the foil with his teeth. He pinches the top, sliding the rubber over his length with ease. You encourage him to lay down with your palms on his chest, scooting up his body to slot your hips together. You haven't even touched him yet and you're already dripping, thighs glistening with your slick. Levi's chest rumbles when you press your soaking folds against his cock, rolling up and down to prep his length with your wetness.

"That's it, Baby Blue, just like that." He places his hands at your waist, thumbs circling the petals inked on your skin. "You ready, pretty girl? Ready for my cock?"

You nod rapidly, reaching down to position him at your entrance. "Yeah Levi, ready for you, want you inside so bad."

"Go slow, okay? Just relax, deep breaths, don't hurt yourself."

He can tell you're still sensitive from before, breathing deeply with tiny whimpers between exhales as you painfully slowly lower yourself. His head passes that first ring of muscle, his abdomen flexing from how tight you are despite using three fingers before to stretch you for him. You're wet enough that he glides in smoothly, your gummy walls hugging him like a vice and it's taking every ounce of strength not to just thrust upward those last few torturous inches. It feels like hours pass before you're fully sat in his lap, pelvic bone to pelvic bone.

"You're so deep, Levi...feels so good—!" You squeak when he wiggles his hips the slightest bit.

"So tight Blue, squeezing me so well." You're hunched over him, breathing deeply as you get used to him inside of you. He brushes a messy strand of blue from your forehead. "Move when you're ready, my sweet girl."

Levi thinks you might just be the most gorgeous thing he's ever seen, shining with sweat and lust above him. Blue hair mused, lips swollen from his kisses. Nothing about this feels like just fucking, like a meaningless one-night-stand, but it's impossible for it to be the other thing. Right?

Those dangerous thoughts fall away the moment you start moving. You start with small, shallow thrusts. Both of your moans filling the room as you raise yourself higher and higher only to lower yourself just as slowly. You take him deep and hard, but so unhurried like you want to memorize the ridges of his cock against your inner walls. The space between you is damp and sticky with sweat and arousal.

Levi groans at a particularly hard thrust, thighs tensing as he tries not to buck up into you. He wants this to be at your pace, but fuck if the slowness of it all isn't killing him just a little bit. "Can you go faster for me, Baby Blue? Please?"

And you do with a keening, "Mmhmmm!" You speed up until you're practically bouncing on his lap, breasts jiggling with the movement, eyes scrunched shut. Your hands are braced on his shoulders as you ride him. "Ah, ah! Nnngh, so good, so close Levi. Can't – need you, please. Need you, Levi—!"

He rolls you both over so your back presses into the mattress, hooking your legs around his hips as he thrusts into you. "I got you, I got you. Gonna take such good care of you, sweet girl..." Levi snaps into your heat quickly. "You feel perfect, the perfect little pussy! So tight for me, taking me so well! This pussy was made for me, don't you think Blue?"

"Yes yes yes! Just for you Levi!"

"Gonna ruin you, gonna make you cum...you wanna cum?"

"Please—!" You draw out the word on a strangled moan, wiggling against his thrusts as you chase that high. "Wanna cum, want you to make me cum—! Ah, ah, nngh—!"

Levi had raised your left leg, hooking your knee over his shoulder, and the new angle meant that every thrust grazed that special spongy patch inside of you. He captures your mouth in a searing kiss, swapping groans and spit between your messily tangled tongues. You cum when he sucks at the honeybee tattoo behind your ear, wailing and shaking through your orgasm so beautifully Levi's tempted to take a picture. He keeps up the brutal pace of his hips, right hand snaking to your puffy abused clit to rub maddening little circles.

"Oh my god, Levi—! Fuck—! So much, so good...!"

"C'mon, one more Baby Blue. You can give me one more, can't you?"

Your head thrashes from side to side, tears building in your eyes. "Don' know, don' know!"

"Yeah you can, you can give me one more." Levi speeds up his thumb on your clit, adding enough pressure that your thighs shake around him. "Love to watch you cum, pretty girl. Could watch it all night, every night."

"Please, please, please..." you ramble between unintelligible praises and whimpers.

Levi swipes your hair from your face, pressing his forehead to yours. "Look at me, Blue." Your eyes flutter, staring up at him with pupils blown in ecstasy and tears trailing down your cheeks. His nose nudges yours, breath ghosting over your lips. "Cum for me."

You tumble over that edge with a scream of his name. That tight band of pleasure inside Levi snaps and he follows you into bliss. It's white hot behind his eyes, tingling from the tip of his head and down to his curling toes. He prolongs the feeling, chasing that heat with deep purposeful bucks of his hips and slows drags of his thumb over your clit. You're practically sobbing beneath him, rutting your hips for those last drops of euphoria, milking him for all he's worth.

Blasphemously, he never wants to leave the heaven between your thighs.

"T-too much," you stammer, giggling as you nudge his hand from your clit, lacing your fingers with his far stickier ones without a care in the world.

He slows his movements, catching every last one of your whimpers between his lips, until he's still and softening in your trembling heat. Levi pulls out with great reluctance, rolling to his back beside you.

And even now, the silence between you is as comfortable as if you've known each other for years.

He'd hesitate to say wow, but..."Wow."

Your head swivels towards him, the cutest most satisfied smile on your face. "Yeah, wow." You're still trying to catch your breath, chest heaving and shining with perspiration. "You made me cum four times."

"I did," he chuckles, raising a brow. "What? Do you want to cum four more times?"

"No!" You laugh, playfully hitting his shoulder. "Just...wasn't expecting it, I guess."

Levi turns on his side, reaching to run his fingers through your hair and leaning in to kiss your cheek. "You deserve to feel good," he says like it's fact, because it is, and swallows any other dangerous words that threaten to escape his throat. "Stay with me."

Except those words apparently.

You smile warmly like you always do. "I'd like that," you whisper, leaning into his palm. "I was hoping not to pay for a cab tonight anyway."

He's not sure if he's glad or disappointed you think he means just for the night.

"I'll be back in a minute." Levi pecks your lips before disappearing into the bathroom. He starts by removing the condom, tying it off and tossing it into the bin. He gets a wet rag and cleans himself up, reaching for a fresh pair of sweat pants that hang low on his hips. He quickly brushes his teeth and washes the stickiness from his face and hands. No time or energy for an actual shower. Grabbing another washcloth, he wets it under the warm tap, refusing to look at his reflection lest he's forced to confront something far too lovesick and complicated.

When he saunters back into the room, you're tapping at your phone, presumably to update your friends so they don't worry about you in the morning. He briefly wonders if any of them managed to snag Erwin for the night.

You startle slightly when he swipes the wet cloth on your inner thigh, gently cleaning between your legs with a probably unprecedented amount of care. He makes eye contact, silently asking if you want him to stop, but you say nothing, just gift him another one of your easy smiles and spread your legs a little wider.

"Thank you, Levi," you say when he finishes, and he's grateful when you don't comment on the way he tenderly rubs your skin with his thumb.

"Of course." He steps towards the dresser, pulling out one of his best oversized t-shirts, soft from age and use and his favorite fabric softener. And a pair of boxers as well. Modesty and all that. "Here," he sets the clothes in your awaiting hands, half tempted to toss them away at the idea of you covering up. "I keep single-use toothbrushes under the sink for when Hange crashes here, if you want. Use anything in there."

You kiss his cheek as a thank you and it leaves his skin prickling. He resists the urge to touch the spot like a teenage girl with a crush.

While you're getting ready for bed, Levi tries to clean up a little. He collects all of his wayward clothes and tosses them into the hamper. He replaces the comforter, wet with your shared sweat. with a fresh blanket, making a mental note to wash it tomorrow. He eyes your dress and panties, deciding it's not a step too far to fold them neatly and leave them on top of his dresser. You know he's a 'clean freak' after all.

Lastly, he grabs two unopened bottle of water from his fridge, one for himself and one for you. He walks back into the bedroom, spotting you already getting cozy under the covers, and he barely holds back an elated smile. Though he can't do much about the way his heart flutters.

"Drink." He holds the bottle out to you, delighting in another one of your soft laughs.

"Yes sir," you salute, and Levi tries very very hard not to react to that. That is something to explore another day — if there is another day.

Levi takes his place on the other side of the bed, settling under the covers on his back. He's surprised when, once you've finished half the bottle of water, you curl into his chest. Head on his shoulder, arm winding around his waist, leg twining between his own. He loves it, but doesn't say it, doesn't show it, just wraps an arm around you and rests his chin on the blue crown of your head. You smell like his lotion and his toothpaste, and beneath that you still smell like sex.

How can something feel so nice and so terrifying at the same time?

A lot occurs to Levi in this moment, but one thing stands out above all else.

"Are you ever going to tell me you're real name?"

You adjust beneath him, craning back so you can meet his gaze. Your smile is coy this time, all teeth and dimple and mirth. "I don't know, I kind of like Blue."

"Me too, but..." Levi pauses, taking a deep courageous breath, "I'd like to know the real you. If – if that's something you want too."

He holds his breath as he waits for your response, counting the seconds as he tries to read your expression, but you're giving nothing away. He thinks his lungs may collapse when you finally speak.

"How about over breakfast?"

Levi blinks, calming his racing heart. "Yeah," he says eventually, feeling soft and mushy and like nothing anyone has made him feel before. "Breakfast sounds nice. I know a place, bit of a drive though."

"On your motorcycle?" You ask cheekily, grin widening at the long telling stretch of his silence. You shoot up, fingers pinching his sides at your victory. "I knew it!"

And when you fall into a fit of giggles, face shining under the dim lighting of his bedroom and lips looking oh so inviting, the only reasonable thing Levi can do is kiss you again.

#levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman #attack on titan #fanfic #aot fanfiction #aot x reader