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cinnamostar · 5 months

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01: self-fulfilling prophecy

part two.

pairing : jisung x gn!reader

summary : han jisung, the man who is incapable of maintaining a relationship for more than a few months. han jisung, the man who is in complete denial that maybe he is the problem. han jisung, the man who has convinced himself he isn’t meant for love.

wc : 8.5k

cw : not proof read, nonidol!au, alcohol/drinking, sadness, angst, arguing, cursing, some cute stuff. plz let me know if i missed anything.

a/n : likes, reblogs, and feedback is much appreciated!! not too confident on this one because idk, i feel like the dialogue isn’t well executed, but let me know what you think. please enjoy!

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Jisung didn’t exactly have the best track record when it came to romance. He never did anything exceedingly horrendous, he always remained faithful in each relationship he had, but they never lasted long. He simply didn’t know how to be a good partner, always too focused on his own needs to the point that his selfishness turned into emotional neglect for the other.

It’s not that he didn’t like the people he dated. He genuinely adored them for who they were, yet he always found himself heartbroken and confused at the end of each relationship when they would all voice the same exact reasonings on why they were ending it.

“I just don’t feel like you care about my feelings.”

“It feels like you don’t even like me enough to put in the effort to make this work.”

“I don’t feel like a priority in your life.”

“I swear you forget we’re even in a relationship.”

“You’re too focused on yourself and everything else to even make time for me.”

Like clockwork, a few months would pass by and his partner would sit him down for the break up talk. It was exhausting. He was clueless, not having any idea what he was doing so wrong even though he would always receive a list of reasons each time. In his eyes, he was doing the best he could, but perhaps his best was not enough.

Of course he cared for their feelings! Of course he liked them, he could’ve sworn he was doing his damnedest. Not a priority? That was ridiculous, he always made time to spend with his partner during the week despite his busy schedule. Forget? Nonsense! Too focused on himself? Well, of course he was focused on pursuing his music career which required long hours at the studio, why would he want to be with someone who didn’t support his endeavors? They knew what they were getting into when they met him!

It made zero sense to Jisung. At some point, he had given up on love altogether. Maybe he just wasn’t meant for it, maybe relationships were just not his thing. Clearly, he was doing something wrong and he decided that maybe hook up culture was just where he belonged.

What Jisung failed to realize was that he was forcing his own ideals of a relationship onto his partners. The idea that people had different needs and perceptions on how relationships should function never dawned on him. He never thought to consider what the other person wanted and had simply assumed they would be content with whatever he had to offer.

He forgot that some people needed more reassurance. He forgot some people wanted to go on actual dates, not everyone considered a night in a date, especially if every date was a night in. He forgot that some people didn’t just want to sit in a room with him while he was on his phone or working on his next project. Sometimes people wanted his undivided attention. Sometimes people wanted to be able to hold a conversation with him. Sometimes people needed more communication because quite frankly, three texts a day didn’t quite cut it for most people.

Yet, Jisung was too absorbed in his own world and his passions to even begin to understand that concept. He absolutely refused to believe he was doing something wrong and that he was just dating the wrong people this whole time. He just hadn’t found the one, right?

Despite that foolish belief he stubbornly held onto, it didn’t mean each instance didn’t take a hit on his ego. After the many failed relationships he had been through, the fear of inadequacy and insecurity began to creep into his mind. Was he not worthy of love? Was he incapable of forming a healthy relationship? Was something wrong with him?

He felt that he had so much love to offer in his heart, but he had no idea what it took to be a good partner. He was too tunnel visioned on producing and music to realize that sometimes, love and relationships required a bit of sacrifice, and that was something he refused to do.

Yet, Jisung wanted to fall in love. Like any other human on earth, he craved to love and be loved, to be understood wordlessly by someone else, but it seemed like love didn’t welcome him with open arms. He desperately wanted to feel like he was needed and wanted, to feel the bubbling shyness and giddiness that only love could give him, but somehow, it seemed that he was the victim of a paradox. Love hated him.

However, Jisung had resigned and accepted defeat. He wasn’t cut out for it. Besides, it’s not like anyone would even bother to give him a chance anymore. After a few failed relationships, people were quick to label him as ‘trash’ and a terrible boyfriend, only good for fun, but definitely nothing more. It was almost as if he had a permanent warning label above his head that scared off anyone who had any remote interest in him.

People talked. And if anyone so much expressed any interest in him, someone would leap in to rescue them from a foreseeable heartbreak, telling them he was no good and a waste of time. Oh, but if you wanted a few nights of fun and to just fool around, he was perfect for that, but never, and absolutely under no circumstances, was he someone to settle down with.

He was the only one to blame for his infamy in the dating scene, but Jisung was suffering from a case of extreme delusion and oblivion. Maybe one day he would lose that self-centered immaturity and have a much needed epiphany, but that day seemed far off in the future.

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For the past week, Jisung had holed himself in his studio, insistent on perfecting his latest track by some arbitrary deadline he had set for himself. This was a regular occurrence that his friends had gotten used to. They would be more surprised if this didn’t happen, but this also meant that they had to pay a visit to his studio every few days and force him to take a break for the sake of his mental and physical health.

Today was one of those days in which Minho came knocking at his door after unlocking the door with the passcode Jisung had given him long ago, reminding him to come by his place later that night for a small party to celebrate his dance troop’s recent competition win. While Jisung was proud of this achievement, part of him felt a tad bit annoyed that he had to interrupt his work schedule for someone else, but Minho was one of his best friends, he at the very least should show up for a bit. He could stay for an hour or two, and hopefully by then everyone would be a little too drunk to notice he had escaped back to his studio.

Jisung sighed as he begrudgingly made his way to Minho’s apartment, dreading the amount of people he would have to socialize with tonight. He was relieved to know that a few familiar faces would be there, such as Hyunjin and Felix, who were also part of the troop, but the team had also gone through auditions recently, meaning there would be people he would have to meet for the first time.

He wasn’t one for befriending strangers, as oftentimes, many of them had a negative impression of him due to his dating history. He hated how every time he introduced himself, as soon as the words “Han Jisung” left his mouth, people’s faces would drop into an unreadable expression, almost as if they were disappointed to finally meet the man who was rumored to be complete and utter trash. It was anxiety-inducing and turned him off from seeking out new friendships because everyone would always say “Oh! Did you used to date my friend?” And at that moment, he knew it was over. They hated him before they even got to know him. As a result, Jisung always felt apprehensive when it came to meeting new people and he much preferred sticking with his small circle of friends.

As Jisung arrived at the front steps of Minho’s apartment, he felt his shoulders tense up with trepidation as he subconsciously bit the inside of his cheek. The party had already started with the music blaring throughout the building, the lights dimmed with colorful LEDs visible from the window. A chorus of joyful cheers followed by the clinking of shot glasses and laughter could be heard from outside, signaling that the party was already in full swing. Jisung let out an uneasy groan, unprepared for what the night would bring, but reassured himself knowing that he only needed to stay for at least an hour before he could retreat back to the safe haven known as his studio.

After a sharp inhale, Jisung put on a fake smile as he opened the door, instantly greeted by a drunken Changbin who was double fisting two beers, wearing a toothy smile.

“Jisung! You made it!”

The last thing Jisung wanted tonight was to be put in the spotlight, which Changbin just unknowingly thrust him into with no warning. Others nearby turned their attention to the front door, some choosing to ignore Jisung’s presence to continue their conversations while others politely waved or called out a quick hello.

Minho shortly appeared in Jisung’s vision, grinning from ear to ear as he pulled him into a one-armed hug, “Glad you showed up, I was worried you forgot!” An airy chuckle escaped Minho as Jisung gasped, feigning a look of betrayal while playfully shoving Minho’s shoulder, “How dare you think I’d forget my best friend’s party? I would never!”

Minho rolled his eyes at Jisung’s gesture before dragging him by his wrist. “Whatever you say, but c’mon! I want you to meet our new members. Plus, you look a little too stiff for my liking,so let's get some drinks in ya first.”

Suddenly, shot glasses filled with tequila were shoved into Jisung’s hand as people egged him on to down them, chasing the two shots with lime and salt to cut through the harshness of the alcohol. A familiar buzz took over his senses, his head feeling lighter than usual as a lopsided smile appeared on his face while the nervousness he felt earlier quickly dissipated.

The bit of liquid courage energized Jisung enough to forget all the now seemingly silly concerns he had earlier as he jumped through the bunches of people, excitedly yapping away as he caught up with friends and introduced himself to new people. Each time he noticed someone cringing at the sound of his name or giving him a dirty look, he would promptly take another shot to rid himself of the anxiety he was feeling, hoping the alcohol would make him just unaware enough of any other glares he would receive from people that night.

Eventually, Jisung made his way to the loft upstairs to take a break from the hectic party below, already feeling a headache coming on. He stumbled his way to the couch, not paying much mind to his surroundings as he plopped himself onto the couch, immediately throwing his head back while shutting his eyes.

“Oh, he definitely overdid it again,” laughed Felix from the left of him, “How many shots did you take?”

Jisung waved his hand as if he was shooing Felix away while mumbling, “Don’t even ask.”

He heard an unfamiliar giggle erupt from the right side of him, causing him to sit straight up with his eyes wide, hastily snapping his head to see who the laugh belonged to, not expecting anyone other than his friends here.

He found himself staring into your eyes that were crinkled from laughing, a lax smile adorning your face as you brought up a hand to hide behind. Your laugh was rich and decadent, almost as sweet as chocolate, and your smile was so refreshing that it instantly roused him from his drunken state the moment his eyes landed on you.

Oh, shit, they’re cute.

Jisung’s inebriated state had caused him to lose all self-awareness because all he could do was gawk at you with enamored eyes, his lips slightly parted as he struggled to find the words to introduce himself. He felt his face flush from embarrassment when you returned his gaze while wearing an expectant expression, patiently waiting for him to finish his sentence.

“I- Oh, uhm, I…”

You had instantly captured his heart with the most saccharine smile he has ever seen and within a few seconds, Jisung was undeniably smitten, but he was also completely making a fool of himself within those same few seconds.

“Jesus christ, Jisung, how drunk are you?” howled Hyunjin, who had gotten up to lightly poke Jisung’s cheek, “Helloooo, earth to Jisung? Anyone home?”

“Dude… Close your mouth before you start drooling over there. I don’t think that’s an image you want Y/N to have during your first meeting,” Seungmin, who was sitting on the floor, mischievously sneered, quickly recognizing Jisung’s speechless state was caused by something more than just alcohol. Jisung shook his head side to side to wake himself from his lovestruck daze, clearing his throat in an attempt to cover up Seungmin’s comment.

“Mm, sorry! I just-,”

Oh, this is bad, he really is making this so much worse for himself. He was now regretting all the shots from earlier as he tripped over his words, his nerves not being of any help. He desperately was trying to say something sensible, but instead, all he could blurt out was,

“Jisung! I’m Jisung… yeah!”

Now it is a lot worse as Jisung cringed at how loud and annoying his voice was, everyone else also seemingly cowering from second hand embarrassment as they watched the scene unfold, but no one was able to peel their eyes away.

Like an angel sent from heaven, Felix decided to have mercy on the brown haired boy, peeking out from behind Jisung to meet your eyes at the other side of the couch. “Y/N, this is our friend Jisung! He makes music with Changbin and Chan. Jisung, this is Y/N. They’re one of our newest members on the team.” God, Jisung could kiss Felix right now from how relieved he was to have alleviated the awkward tension he had just created moments earlier.

You nodded, smiling at Jisung as your eyes lit up in realization, “Oh, Jisung? I’ve heard about you before.”

Ah, there it is. Of course! Of course you have and how stupid of him to think he’d be able to have an untarnished first impression with you and-

“Minho says so many good things about you! He even showed me some of your songs. You’re really talented at what you do, I definitely added a few to my playlist.”

Someone pinch Jisung right now because he must be dreaming, there’s absolutely no way. Is luck finally on his side? Has God finally decided to be oh-so-merciful today? He was on cloud nine as he relished in your compliments, savoring this moment because this may never happen again.

Jisung clicked his teeth as he waved both his hands in front of him with a flustered smile, “Oh, no, no, no, I am not that good! But thank you!” The alcohol was really doing a number on him as he slurred over each syllable, but thankfully he was coherent enough for everyone to understand what he said.

You let out a breathy laugh at his antics while standing from your seat, “Well, it's nice to finally put a face to the name, but I do have to go now, I have to be up early.”

Jisung deflated as everyone wished you good night, feeling disappointed how quickly your first meeting with him ended. Hyunjin stood up, offering to walk you out and once you were out of earshot, Jisung whipped his head to Felix.

“Felix… Who was that? How long have you been hiding them from me?”

Seungmin struggled to contain his laugh, earning a confused look from Jisung, “What are you laughing at?”

“Dude, you. You looked so stupid trying to talk to them.”

Jisung threw himself back into the couch, sinking into the cushions with an embarrassed groan, “Shut up, I know.”

Felix laughed, shooting Jisung a pitiful smile, “You’ve done worse, it’s fine. And no one was hiding them from you, you just never show up when we invite you anywhere. That is your own fault, not ours!” Jisung pouted, cursing himself mentally for rejecting all those plans.

“They’re cool, they’ve been on our team for a few months. Crazy good at dancing too, we are super lucky to have them.”

“Are they dating anyone?”

The room grew quiet at Jisung’s question as Seungmin and Felix looked at each other with uneasiness, unsure how to respond. Hyunjin had come back up the stairs after walking you to your car, just in time to hear Jisung. He let out a heavy sigh, alerting everyone of his presence.

“I… I think it's best if you just leave them alone, Jisung. They’re a really sweet person and you, well…”

“Me what? What do you mean?” Jisung furrowed his eyebrows at Hyunjin as the taller boy struggled to finish his thought.

“Just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Why?”

“Seriously, Jisung? I know you’re wasted right now, but don’t make me say it. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

And he did, he knew that Hyunjin was referring to his dating history, but Jisung felt himself growing angry hearing his friend allude to him being a bad partner, suggesting he would hurt you.

“No, I want to hear you say it,” Jisung spat out, a scowl painted all over his face as he stared down Hyunjin with his arms crossed, who was still standing by the stairs. He felt himself become warm in frustration as all the insecurities he held close to his heart started to bubble up. Did his own friend’s think so poorly of him too?

Felix reached out to put a reassuring hand on Jisung’s shoulder, hoping to defuse the situation, “Let’s not do this right now. You’re still drunk, Jisung.” Jisung shook Felix’s hand off his shoulders, standing up while still glaring at Hyunjin with clenched fists.

“Say it.”

“Jisung-” warned Felix, but he was cut off by Seungmin.

“You’re a shit boyfriend, Jisung. We don’t need you hurting someone we’re friends with again.”

The room was silent as everyone now stared at Seungmin with wide eyes, startled at how blunt he was being. Jisung didn’t know what he was feeling as a flash of rage took over his body, but at the same time, he felt his heart drop hearing those words come out of his own friend’s mouth. It was now Hyunjin’s turn to butt in,

“Seungmin, stop-”

“No, he needs to hear it straight up. He fucking sucks and you all know I’m right. I’m tired of him acting like he isn’t the problem. Leave Y/N alone. They’re better off without you.”

Jisung felt hot tears well up in his eyes as he took in every one of Seungmin’s words, each casting daggers into his heart. His worst nightmares were coming true as he realized that it wasn’t just strangers and ex-lovers who viewed in such a negative light, but the people he trusted so much, his own friends, also thought the same of him. The fury laced in Seungmin’s voice cut Jisung deep as every syllable pushed him over the edge til Jisungfound himself falling into a pit of sadness and hurt, his stomach flipping onto itself on his way down.

Was he really that bad? Wait, no! How dare Seungmin say such a thing to him? What does Seungmin even know about Jisung’s past relationship? He was stepping out of line! The sadness instantly subsided, soon being replaced with a familiar feeling of denial and anger as Jisung stomped towards Seungmin, crouching down to meet him on the floor. Jisung sloppily grabbed Seungmin by the collar of his shirt, pulling him close to his face.

“What the fuck did you just say? Take it back right fucking now,” growled Jisung, venom dropping down from each word.

Seungmin rolled his eyes, pushing the drunken boy off him who stumbled backwards, “See, this right here is your problem. You can’t even begin to accept that you’re in the wrong.” Seungmin stood up, now looking down at Jisung who still hadn’t regained his balance. He took in an exasperated inhale, a subdued smile replacing the vexed look he just had as he softened his tone, “Look, Jisung. I love and care for you, but I cannot turn a blind eye and let you hurt someone else. I mean it. Leave them alone.” With that, Seungmin made his way to the stairs, wanting nothing more than to get away from Jisung at that moment before he said something he’d later regret.

Jisung remained seated on the floor as he was processing the words and emotions that were rushing in all at once, his drunken brain unsure how to handle all the information he was just fed. He laid his head into his hands as his brain echoed Seungmin’s words again and again.

Jisung felt his breath get caught in his throat as he hiccuped a quiet sob, his body starting to tremble as the tears he was holding back for so long finally fell. His body collapsed onto itself as his heart stuttered in his chest, his lungs burning from the lack of air as he continued to inconsolably weep, struggling to breathe between his cries.

Maybe he is as bad as everyone said he was.

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A few weeks had gone by since Jisung and Seungmin’s argument at the party, but the tension between the two boys didn’t last long as Seungmin showed up to Jisung’s apartment the very next day with a bowl of soup for his hangover and an apology, which Jisung graciously accepted, neither wanting to be upset at each other any longer.

Despite that, the words Seungmin had said never left Jisung, leaving a permanent scar on his brain as he constantly recalled the moment. The words painfully rang through his ears as a ball of shame and misery formed in his stomach while he reminisced about his past relationships, trying to figure out what he did so wrong.

Jisung felt horrible as he carried this weight of guilt on his shoulders as he wondered how his actions had hurt others and how he had remained oblivious for so long. All the insecurities and fears he had about himself were true at the end. Everyone around him was in agreement that he was the issue and he was the one behaving so selfishly in every relationship. He could understand that and he knew if his friend’s felt that way, it had to be the truth, but he was still struggling to identify what exactly about him and his behavior was so bad.

Sure, he could reach out and ask his friends to help see what he was missing, but he was too afraid to face the reality of the situation, not ready to take another brutal beating of words. He was terrified to hear the truth, but he knew the same conclusion he came to long ago remained true. Love was just not for him, it didn’t want him the same way he did.

Everyone had taken note of Jisung’s downtrodden mood and thought he had just needed a few days to collect himself, but once everyone realized more time had passed and that he didn’t even have the will to attend a recording session with Chan and Changbin, everyone went into crisis mode. So, over the last few weeks, someone would show up to Jisung’s house to check in on him and either spend a few hours with him at home, or forcefully drag him out the house to spend time with the group, insisting it would help him feel better.

Each time someone had forced him out, he would be huffing and sulking like a grumpy toddler throwing a tantrum, but as soon as he got there, he would be as cheery as ever and would end the day feeling a lot better. He hated how right his friends were, but he was always thankful for every time they dragged him out despite his whiny and bratty attitude.

However, there was another mental battle Jisung was fighting that everyone was unaware of, or so he thought, and he was definitely not coming out of it as a winner. Unfortunately for Jisung, since the time you joined Minho’s dance team, you had hit it off so well with the rest of the group that you were there almost every time Jisung joined you guys on an outing. And each day he spent with you, he found himself falling more and more for you.

He was really trying to stop himself, as he took Seungmin’s words to heart and imagined that sentiment was shared with everyone else, but this task was becoming an impossible one for Jisung to tackle!

It was weird. Every time he’d get invited out, Jisung would dread seeing you because he knew he was doomed to a hopeless, unrequited love with you, but if you weren’t there, he would be so disappointed and would find himself wanting to go home sooner. He wanted to stay as far away from you as possible, but something about you drew him in and he couldn’t resist and now here he is, finding himself in a friendship with you that he could not escape.

It’s not that he didn't want to be friends with you, if anything he loved the friendship you two had grown in such a short time and how quickly he became fond of you. You were incredibly sweet to Jisung, constantly showing your consideration for him everyday in new ways. If he ever felt anxious or out of place, you were the first to take notice and offer to get him out of whatever stuffy social situation he was in and stay with him til he was ready to join the others again. If he had decided to stay in that day, you’d send him a message letting know he was missed and hoped to see him the next time. There was even a time where he was too sick to leave the house, and much to his surprise, he found you and Minho at his front door steps with food and medicine.

Somehow, unlike everyone else before you, you had shown him a special kind of unwavering kindness and didn’t judge him for his past. For the first time in years, he finally felt safe and unconditionally loved in a friendship that wasn’t one of the boys. That was enough for Jisung to know that you were someone he wanted to keep in his life for as long as possible, even if it meant he had to confront eventual heartbreak and only stay by your side as nothing more than a friend.

But, that was okay. That was more than enough for him because as long as you were there, he would give you his all and support you endlessly. He would do anything to see you smile, anything to ensure your happiness, and if that meant he couldn’t be your lover, then that was a sacrifice he was willing to make. Besides, no one has ever been happy with him in a relationship. This was how it had to be, this is how he could protect you from himself.

Regardless of how Jisung felt towards you, he had seriously doubted you had any interest in him in the first place. How could someone as angelic as you want to be with, well, trash? There was no way you hadn’t heard about his disastrous dating history, and if you were as smart as he thought you were, that alone would turn you off from him. Not only that, he was pretty sure you had heard about the fight he had with Seungmin and if that fight said anything about him, it showed that he was a mess of insecurities and arrogance. Why on Earth would you ever like someone like that? And if you heard about the fight, he was positive that Seungmin and everyone else had warned you about him and dissuaded you from even considering anything romantic with him.

It was doomed!

And although Jisung had earnestly vowed to himself he would not engage in anything romantic with you, he was failing miserably. His affection towards you was something everyone picked up on. He always, no matter what, had his undivided attention on you as you ranted to him about whatever bothered you that day or how you were struggling to nail a part of your dance routine. It was obvious. He loved hearing you talk and could listen to you for hours as if you were his own personal podcast, always mirroring your emotion and blindly agreeing with you during your rants, always asking you questions whenever you rambled on about your own hobbies and interests.

If someone ever talked over you, he’d make sure to ask you what you were going to say. If you were upset that day, he’d always offer to buy you ice cream and insist to the group that they all needed to stop by the local ice cream shop. If you ever showed him a video of your latest dance routine, he’d shower you with a ridiculous amount of compliments until you were a flustered mess asking him to stop. And every time he noticed you were wearing a new outfit, changed your hair, or wore different jewelry, he would be quick to notice and let you know how wonderful you looked. He was shamelessly flirting with you, and he hadn’t even realized how far he had let it go.

On the other side of the pond, you were well aware of every horrible thing that was said about Jisung, even long before you had become a member of Minho’s team, and to be quite frank, you thought he was a complete asshole from what you’ve heard. But once you realized that he was one of Minho’s lifelong best friends, you knew you had to push your personal feelings aside, especially when you realized some of the music Minho had you perform with was Jisung’s original work. You hated to admit it, but he was an absolute genius when it came to music production and you were slowly becoming a fan of his work.

All you could tell yourself was that he couldn’t have been that bad if everyone was still his friend and reminded yourself people change, it’s not like you were going to end up liking the guy anyway.

Oh, but you were so wrong.

The first time you saw him at Minho’s party, you thought he was so irresistibly adorable during his drunken babbling, and you were honestly taken aback that the cute man who sat in front of you was none other than Han Jisung. Although, it did help soften your initial thoughts of him, making you think maybe he wasn’t that bad, especially after seeing him become a blushing mess at the mere sight of you, but those thoughts were quickly pushed away while Hyunjin walked you to your car after you left.

“Y/N…”

“Hmm?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard about Jisung from other people, right?”

“Oh, I’ve heard plenty, but he doesn’t seem so bad though.”

“Well, he isn’t if you’re just friends with him, but… He definitely seemed into you when he saw you and as your friend, I feel like it is my responsibility to let you know that he isn’t someone you should pursue. I love him, but you deserve someone better than that… I would hate to see him hurt another one of my friends.”

“Ah, no worries, Hyunjin. I’ve made dumb dating choices in the past, but I’m not that stupid.”

Except, you were that stupid. So, so, so incredibly stupid and you were terrified that anyone would uncover your growing crush on the boy. You could already imagine both Hyunjin and Seungmin’s disappointed looks, and you promised yourself you were taking this little secret to the grave. You had every reason in the world to not be attracted to Jisung, especially after hearing how he put his hands on Seungmin during their argument! Drunk or not, there’s no excuse for that and his denial of his actions said so much about him.

Yet, here you are, sitting next to Jisung on the couch in the living room of Minho’s place, excitedly talking to him about the latest episode of the drama you were currently watching, gossiping to him as if the actors were real people you knew in your personal life. He sat on the couch with his legs crossed, facing you while nodding along to every word you said, his eyes trained on you and you alone.

“And-, oh my god, I almost forgot, but the lead then told her to shut up! Can you believe that?!”

Jisung would then gasp, theatrically putting his hand on his chest, “No fucking way… What is his problem?”

“Right! And then-,” you paused for a moment, suddenly feeling insecure that you were forcing Jisung to listen about something he probably didn’t care for. You sighed and gave him an apologetic smile as you anxiously twiddled your fingers, “I’m sorry, I got carried away, you probably don’t wanna listen to me talk about some stupid drama.”

This time, Jisung did look genuinely surprised as his eyebrows furrowed upward with panicked eyes, “What? No, I love hearing you talk about this, you’re always so excited that it’s adorable.” He hated how fast your mood changed and started to worry if he had done something to make you feel that way. Did he look uninterested? Was he not responsive enough?

“Did I do something to make you think I didn’t want to listen?”

You felt your cheeks grow warm at Jisung calling you adorable, and then felt your heart start beating loudly in your chest when he asked you that question with all the concern and worry in the world filling his eyes. You shot straight up in your seat, returning his gaze with astonishment, not expecting him to be so considerate. “No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong… I just…” You paused for a moment, trying to find the words without revealing too much on how you were feeling, “I just got nervous for a moment, I don’t know.”

Jisung nodded as you spoke, taking your hands in his as he gave you a reassuring smile, “Y/N, I promise there’s nothing more I’d love than to hear you talk. You could be explaining the most boring thing ever, and I would still listen to you happily.”

In the kitchen stood Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Minho who were watching the scene unfold before them as they prepared food for everyone, while the others were upstairs playing whatever video game upstairs. Seungmin narrowed his eyes as he watched Jisung reach for your hands, taking note of the flustered look on your face.

“I think Y/N likes him.”

Hyunjin and Minho turned to Seungmin for a moment, then looked back at you and Jisung, unsure what exactly Seungmin saw other than Jisung’s flirtations.

Hyunjin let out an annoyed exhale as he continued to fry the eggs on the pan, then muttering, “There’s no way that’s possible. Y/N knows better.”

“I don’t know. Just look at them, they act like there’s no one else in the room when they’re together,” whispered Seungmin.

“I guess,” murmured Hyunjin, clearly upset about Seungmin’s hunch, “This is going to end terribly, isn’t it?”

Minho silently stood as he separated the ramen noodles that were boiling in the pot, humming along as he listened to the two younger boys angrily whisper. “I think it will be okay. I think our Jisungie has learned his lessons.”

The other two looked at him with disbelief, neither believing Jisung was capable of ever growing from the immature mindset he had for as long as they’ve known him. Hyunjin scoffed, “No, you don’t really think that, do you?”

Minho kept his eyes on the stove as the other two stared down at the back of his head, shrugging his shoulders, “Well, I could be wrong, I can’t exactly predict the future, but…” He then glanced back at the couch, smiling as Jisung made you laugh, “He treats them differently. I don’t know why, but he does. Don��t you two think so?”

Seungmin and Hyunjin stayed silent, not being able to deny Minho’s statement because they fully knew he wasn’t wrong. Everyone knew something in Jisung had changed when he had met you, and everyone saw how gently he treated you, almost as if he was scared he could scare you away with one little misstep.

“Whatever, I still don’t trust him,” Hyunjin grumbled, putting the last of the eggs on a plate.

Minho chuckled at both of the boy’s protectiveness, “That’s okay, no one is forcing you to, but remember, they’re both adults. They can do what they want, no matter how stupid we all think it is.”

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

Months had gone by and there was no denying the small romance that had flourished between you and Jisung. You both were hopelessly head-over-heels for the other, to the point that everyone around you two had grown sick of it and was praying for the day where one of you would finally confess your feelings to the other.

You had long given up on hiding your feelings for the boy from your friends, especially after one day Seungmin had confronted you and told you it was the most obvious thing in the world. Part of you had prepared yourself for Seungmin to berate you for your poor taste in men, especially after the plethora of warnings you had been given about Jisung, but instead, he was very supportive and wanted you to feel comfortable enough to talk to him about it, even if he thought you could do better.

Jisung had become a part of your daily life, spending nearly everyday with each other or at the very least, you both had become accustomed to texting one another throughout the day. You’d start your day either sending or receiving a ‘good morning’ text from him and you’d end your day the same way, except it was a ‘good night’ text.

You’d often pay him a visit at his studio on days he had lost track of time, always letting yourself in after he had given you the passcode to the door, which he had only given to you, Minho, Chan, and Changbin. It came to you as a surprise when he gave you the code to his studio, insisting that you needed it so you could drop in whenever you wanted, telling you that you were always a welcomed guest at his studio. In reality, Jisung just wanted an excuse to see you more, and you had taken the bait as you would often show up with an iced americano in hand and whatever takeout food you were in the mood for that day.

If you ever had a long day of dance practice, Jisung would make sure to stop by to drop off a snack and drink as well, often receiving complaints from Minho over his blatant favoritism, accusing him of neglecting his best friend, which would cause Jisung to grow red from embarrassment. Despite his relentless teasing, Minho was more than proud to see how much Jisung had grown and how naturally caring for you had come to him. It was a side of Jisung no one had ever seen, and it was a very much welcomed change.

Today, you were sitting on the couch at Jisung’s apartment as he washed the dishes from the dinner you both had attempted to make, humming along as he put them in the drying rack. For some reason, you and Jisung had thought it would be a great idea to recreate a steak dish you both saw online and while it did not go terribly, the steaks ended up being a little too burnt for either of your liking. You were a bit disappointed, part of you feeling embarrassed you couldn’t even cook a proper meal in front of your crush, but he had lifted your spirits up by telling you it was an ‘excellent culinary choice’ to serve the steaks charred, shushing you each time you said the word burnt.

Soon after, he took a seat next to you on the couch, flicking through the TV as he tried to find something to watch, but soon gave up as he turned to you, “Is there anything you wanna watch?”

You scrunch up your face as you take a few seconds to think, clapping your hands excitedly once the idea hits you, “Have you ever watched Love is Blind? It’s kinda a dumb reality show, but I still haven’t seen the new season and it’s always a fun watch!”

Jisung furrowed his eyebrows quizzically, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy, “Love is Blind? I’ve never heard of it, what's it about?”

“Never heard of it!? No way!” You gasped, a hand clasping over your mouth dramatically as he smiled adoringly at your antics, “It’s such a crazy show! Basically, a bunch of singles are trying to find the love of their lives, but they’re meeting people without ever seeing what they look like!”

“Oh, so they only get to talk to each other?”

“Yeah! And then they have to get engaged, and once that happens, they can finally meet face to face. They’re supposed to get married at the end of the series, but there’s always juicy drama going on before then!”

Jisung hummed, taking interest in the show's concept, “That’s cool, so they’re trying to see if love is truly blind?”

“Exactly!” You chirped, nodding with enthusiasm as you beamed at Jisung, waiting for his response.

“Sure, let’s watch it!” How could he ever say no to you when you’re smiling at him that way? He swore he felt his heart flutter the moment you smiled at him, the jubilation in your eyes making him become putty in your hands. “Do you really believe in that though? Like, unconditional love?”

You turned to him as you grabbed the remote from his hands, a bit taken aback from his question, “Well, I’ve already seen the other seasons and some couples have definitely proven that love can be blind, but love differs for everyone. I think that’s the beauty of this show though, loving someone despite their flaws and loving them for who they truly are.”

He leaned back on the couch, returning your gaze as he lost himself deep in thought, “Right, but do you think you could love someone unconditionally? Even if they’ve made mistakes in the past?”

You furrowed your eyebrows as you tried to understand where Jisung was coming from, a gentle smile gracing your features as you reached a comforting hand over his wrist, “Well, as long as those past mistakes aren’t murder or something, I don’t see why not. I’d like to think people are able to grow from their past.”

Jisung smiled as he sighed in relief, his other hand resting on top of yours, “Even me?”

“Especially you.”

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

It was a quiet and cold night as you curled up into Jisung’s side, your head resting on his chest with a leg thrown over his as his arms swaddled you into a tight embrace. It was peaceful and serene, the only sounds filling the room was the light pitter patter of rain against his bedroom window and the comforting beat of his heart. You tilted your head upwards and caught Jisung’s gaze, a relaxed smile on his face as he leaned down to press a gentle kiss on your forehead, but you could’ve sworn you saw a glimmer of sadness in his eyes.

To be quite honest, you weren’t entirely sure what you and Jisung were, as neither of you had ever officially discussed labels, but you both were very aware of each other’s feelings for one another. There was no doubt that you both were more than just friends, but the label of partners or dating was something Jisung nervously tiptoed around.

After a few weeks of these shared tender moments, you figured Jisung would soon ask you to be his, but the question never came and it filled you with nervousness. You didn’t want to pressure him, as you could sympathize with his concerns since he was very transparent with you about his hesitance from the very start.

Jisung was irrevocably in love with you and wanted nothing more than to make you his partner, but he would be lying to you if he wasn’t also terrified of the weight of that label. For so long, Jisung had convinced himself he was incapable of loving someone the way they deserved to be and never thought anyone would have ever fallen for him, especially someone as perfect as you. Perhaps it was your sheer kindness and undying belief in him, but he felt like a complete fraud, as if you had imagined him to be this amazing man that he could never be and has never been. He wasn’t ready to fall short of your expectations, he wasn’t ready to face the disappointed and heartbroken look on your face once you realized the rumors about him were complete truth.

He felt as if he was truly undeserving of someone as pure as you, someone so selfless and caring who approached their own feelings with so much confidence, while he was just a shamefully selfish man who didn’t know how to trust himself, who didn’t believe in his own ability to make his own partner happy, a man who was painfully insecure and unsure of who he was.

He wanted you with every fiber of his being and desperately wanted to be the very reason behind your smiles, laughter, and happiness. He so greedily desired to see his own reflection in your eyes for the rest of his life, a sight that he wanted to treasure for the rest of life and the thought of you looking at someone else that way physically pained him.

Yet, his fear of hurting you and disappointing everyone else around him held him back from chasing those feelings and Seungmin’s words from months ago ruminated in his mind as a constant reminder of his past failures. He would not be able to shoulder the burden of hurting you, the guilt would completely eat him up because at the end of the day, it would be his fault for fooling you into the idea that he was capable of giving you that movie perfect love story. For crying out loud, he’s Han Jisung, the guy everyone hated and criticized for his ineptitude of romantic relations. He knew what you wanted, he knew you were growing impatient and scared over his inaction, but his anxieties held him captive in a standstill, and he was not strong enough to challenge it.

All he could tell you was that he needed more time, that he was afraid and needed the chance to grow that confidence in himself once more, but he knew time was finite and he was running out of it.

As he kissed your forehead, he felt his heart flinch as a pang of sadness flooded his body, forcefully fighting the overwhelming adoration and affection he had for you. He was petrified at the way his body slowly began to reject the feelings of love he had for you, fear and insecurities consuming it as if everything you had to offer nothing. All rational thinking had left him in that moment as panic took over his thoughts, angrily yelling at him for being such an idiot to think anything would ever change. How stupid he was to lead on another innocent person and how he was only going to hurt them, just like all the others before him. How idiotic he was for thinking he was ever deserving of love, as love does not wish to know him.

He just couldn’t be your love.

God, if he wasn’t such a selfish asshole, maybe then he could’ve saved you from his own carelessness. If he had only heeded the warnings of his friends, but once again, he has fallen into the trap of self-centered needs outweighing the feelings of others. If he had only stayed your friend and nothing more, if he had only not-

“Y/N, I don’t think this is going to work.”

Did he really say that out loud? He held his breath as he cursed himself for acting so quickly out of fear, his heart stopped as he watched you stiffen in his own arm. You silently sat yourself up, his arms falling to the mattress as you turned to him with tears filling your eyes, your lips trembling as you tried to contain a sob.

Oh, how Jisung just wished the world would swallow him whole in that moment, his heart completely shattering at the sight of your crestfallen face. He looked into your watery eyes to only realize that this time, the reflection of your eyes showed the source of your sorrow, an expression he had wished he never had the misfortune to witness.

“I… I’m sorry, I just-”

You shook your head, raising a hand to signal him to stop talking, refusing to take an explanation from him, “It’s okay. I was afraid this would happen.”

You forced a tightlipped smile, taking a deep breath through your nose as you tried to keep yourself together, faintly whispering a broken “Please don’t text or call me.”

Jisung shot up as he watched you get up from his bed, trying to scramble after you as you made your way to his front door, grabbing your belongings on the way. He didn’t realize how much he was already crying until he tried to speak to you, but it all came out in a blubbering sob. “Y/N, please, listen to me…” He begged you to listen to him, pleaded for you to try to understand where this was all coming from and to understand that he still loved you so much despite how selfish his actions are, yet you never gave him a chance.

“Jisung, please. I don’t care why, I don’t want to know,” you croaked between sobs, doing your best to maintain your composure as you faced the front door, refusing to look at him. “I just feel like an idiot. I should’ve listened to what people said about you.”

There you went, leaving his apartment and shutting the door in his face with force, leaving Jisung to confront nothing, but his own cowardice.

Once again, Jisung fell into the trap of his own self-centered thinking, getting lost in his own immaturity as he became the victim of the circumstances he created. If he had only realized that he wasn't alone in this battle of his own conscience, if he had only realized you would've fought each insecurity and fear with him.

Oh, woe is me, Han Jisung. Only a fool would be afraid of love.

#skz x reader #skz fanfic #skz angst #skz #stray kids fanfic #stray kids x reader #stray kids #stray kids angst #han jisung #skz jisung #skz jisung x reader #han x reader #skz han #skz han x reader #jisung x reader #han jisung x reader #cinnamostar writes

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sanemisstalker · 9 months

Note

Idk why but like I really wanna die in somebody’s arms- it’s like such a beautiful but sad way to die?

(**kny spoilers**)

kinda like how Mitsuri died in Obanai’s arms bc that was such a heartbreaking moment but it also was kinda sweet at the same time? Idek anymore 😭 ty for your time btw <3

Broooo-

I hate to be that guy and point to your username, but I think dying in Giyu's arms would be the worst emotionally. I think it'd be actually devastating.

CW// Death / Implied Major Character Death/ Implied Suicide/ Angst

A part of me reasons that Sanemi could handle it about as well as he handles anything else. Poorly, but he'd continue like he always does. That's all he can do because he thinks anything else is a show of extreme cowardice and he doesn't deserve to feel that way.

But when you're in his arms, dying, more color is dissapearing, and he's fighting to see your face past the tears- he's wailing and screaming, and trying to command you to come back. That normally works. Maybe he's gotten scary enough to scare death, but no. He'll never be enough to fend off the inevitable.

I don't think Shinobu would be much different. She has an astonishing amount of hate in her heart. Enough to patch up the wound long enough for her to pretend it isn't there anymore.

You'd be lying in her arms, and all of it would be beating against her head. Every word you ever said, every piece of medical knowledge she had, and for her to be the only one able to know just how incapable she was of saving you- She'd start begging a higher power, probably, begging you to be strong in her stead- save yourself because she's not strong enough.

Rengoku wouldn't cry until you fully slipped away, doing all he could to muster his voice flat- you needed comfort, obviously. He knew it wouldn't heal the wounds, nothing could, but he was still denying that to keep his smile wide.

You wouldn't be in his arms but on his lap, his hand sweeping hair from your fading eyes. I think He'd sit there for a while. For too long, just trying to prevent tears, because you wouldn't make a move to wipe them.

Tengen would hurt, bad. You're in his arms, and he's rocking you, and he's having a panic attack- He'd deny it the hardest. For the longest.

There's a notable difference, Tengen understood, between the weight of a breathing person, and a dead body. He knew that difference the second you slumped against his shoulder, and his knees hit the ground. He'd try to wake you up, tell you to stop the act, it isn't funny, because God, what else could he do but joke in a half witted prayer to hear your laugh.

Giyu....

Fuck me , man. I don't think he's emotionally strong enough to handle anymore loss. He's already disliked by his peers, by himself, god, and everyone who breathed. You were the only person willing to talk with him- to waste time on him. To love him.

The imagery for this one is vivid- the rain. Ironic. Even in his own element he couldn't save you. He's hunched over you and mimics your shallow breathes, protecting your face from the down pour.

You can't get the words out to say how much you really, deeply love him. He keeps shushing you, trying to conserve your energy- He's panicking, too, hands unsure of their need. There were so many wounds, he couldn't possibly tend to them all.

The poor boy would whisper a beg- to let him go in your stead. He couldn't be left alone to survive again. Not again. He had too many lives he was carrying on his shoulders. Too many souls he was responsible for reaching heaven with, and he was never that good a man.

He's not asking God, he's asking you. And how cruel you were to not let him die.

'I can't- Y/N, I can't do this again.' He'd sound close to vomiting. A certain animalistic sound to his voice. Guttural, almost. 'You-You-God- no-no-n-'

But you'd be gone, unable and unwillingly to give him to permission he so desperately needed. Not deserved, He'd remind himself.

He'd all but rot next to you. The second your last breathe loosed, he'd stop breathing, too. Days would go by. Unmoving. Unfeeling.

I truly believe he'd die with you that day.

#demon slayer x reader #hashira x reader #sanemi x reader #sanemi x y/n #sanemi x you #giyuu x reader #giyu x y/n #giyu x reader #rengoku x y/n #rengoku x reader #tengen x reader #tengen x you #shinobu x reader #shinobu x y/n

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star-suh · 7 months

Note

requesting a angsty doyoung x bttm mreader 🤭🤭🤭

The Devil Is Real, And He's Not A Little Red Man With Horns And A Tail.

Kim Doyoung x Male Reader

cw: angst attempt, doyoung is an asshole, breakup, degrading but not in THAT way lol, doyoung refers to people as toys, he's like a psycho, subtle mention of sex, happy ending for reader.

an: just in case, this is for entertainment purpose only, don't take it so seriously please. none of the events shown here represents kim doyoung in real life.

idk if you anon wanted me to add smut on it, i didn't do it to make it as angsty as possible but if you wanted i'm sorry, also i used a phrase of my fave show and listened to art deco instrumental while writing lol, hope you all enjoy it.

—

it was night, a serene breeze caressing y/n's cheeks, the moon shining on him making his teary eyes glow like if galaxies were in there… it all looked perfect… then y/n's boyfriend, kim doyoung, showed up…

"we need to talk y/n" started doyoung

"i know" replied calmly y/n weeping his tears with the back of his hand, "why didn't you tell me before?" continued y/n with a shaky hurt voice.

"why?" he laughed "isn't it obvious y/n? because if i had told you before, the fun would have ended a long time ago, silly" he caressed y/n's hair but he quickly pushed his hand away. "don't touch me. you disgust me" said y/n crying looking at doyoung who just was there… standing… unfazed… just smiling… like a hunter who is about to kill his prey.

"that's not what you said when you were under me, begging me to make you cry. isn't it funny huh?. now that i'm making you cry you don't like it" mocked doyoung doing a sad face.

"you're an idiot you know that? you make me want to throw up" y/n replied "just tell me why me? why did you choose me to be used by you" yelled the heartbroken guy who just discovered he was being used by his supposed boyfriend "i was always there for you, i helped you with your assignments i-". "that's exactly why i chose you dumbo, i needed to pass the semester and you were the perfect one" doyoung laughs "you are so naive damn. i'm proud of me, really proud how i had to endure your annoying clingy ass, how you were always there being so nosy, just the thought of being near you makes me so sick. at least you were good in bed" he said wiping y/n's tears.

"what about me?. didn't you consider my feelings at least once?" asked y/n desperate, waiting for doyoung to say that it's all a joke, a bad one, but a joke. "i'm going to confess that yes i almost thought about that, but i didn't give it any importance haha, i remembered that you are a toy and toys are to be used, they don't have feelings idiot, they're just empty shells waiting for someone that gives them some value" doyoung said with a maniacal face. "you're a fucking psycho" murmured y/n looking at his feet trying to hide his teary eyes.

y/n phone rings, he grabbed the phone to see who was it then he just pressed the red button to keep listening to doyoung. "who was that?" asked doyoung, y/n didn't replied, "bet it was one of those wrong dialed calls, i would say that was someone who cares about you but i don't think so, you're so bland, annoying and pathetic. you're a fucking weeping baby that no one likes" doyoung raised his voice.

y/n fell down to his knees looking at the moon's reflection on the river. "anyways you were a good toy dude" doyoung patted y/n's shoulder "i know some guys who would love to have a toy like you, let me know if you want their numbers silly boy" he kissed y/n's cheek and smiled "it was good 'till it lasted, goodbye" the older waved. y/n turned around to watch him leave and sees how he has a new partner, y/n was just in shock he didn't say anything… he was just there crying, hearing the soothing sound of the water flowing in the river and how it disturbs the moon and stars' reflection.

how such a beautiful and lovely scenery happens to be the witness of a heartbreaking scene between two lovers?

months have passed and y/n is almost recovered of his past relationship with doyoung, he's sitting in the cafeteria looking at that man with his new partner, y/n can't help but fell bad for them, how that man is out there using people at his will but he can't do anything about it because he knows that they will not believe him like they did when he told them what doyoung did to him. "they are willing to lose their dignity and do everything for a pretty face that has no heart. the devil is real, and he's not a little red man with horns and a tail. he can be beautiful. because he's a fallen angel, and he used to be god's favorite" a phrase that it seems to be especifically made for doyoung, thought y/n "he's the empty shell with no value after all".

y/n stands up and just walks away to the university's entrance the breeze caressing his cheeks and hair. y/n is crying, but a happy crying because he overcame that dark past, he feels alive and liberated, of course he's gonna be careful with who he's gonna share his feelings now but he feels good about himself and that's what matters. yellow and brown leaves falling of the yellow/orange trees by the soft autumn breeze, the warm sunlight peeking through the trees' branches. another beautiful scenery this time witnessing a beautiful smile… y/n's beautiful smile…

#kim doyoung x male reader #doyoung x male reader #nct 127 x male reader #angst #angst attempt #male reader #kpop x male reader #nct 127 #nct x male reader

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anime-addict-362 · 1 year

Text

Lord and Savior 🫡

CW: NSFW, Bottom Iida x Top Y/N, pro hero Iida, Y/N just shows up, drinking (barely), toxic religious bullshit, homophobia, ass eating, praise, handjobs, blowjobs, cum eating (Idk), fingering, anal penetration, lots of desperation coming off of Y/N, Iida is in denial, aftercare (kinda), I suck at ending these

× × × × × ×

Iida groaned, Y/N grinding against him. How did this happen? This wasn't- No this wasn't okay.

He knew he shouldn't have gone drinking, it was sinful and filthy. And god, the things the people were doing there was insane. So why didn't he stop? Why didn't he leave?

He just got a job with a good hero agency, why was he risking it just to go to this party?

He had a beer, he couldn't drive. Of course, that's why. And- okay, Y/N offered to take him home. At that point he had to take the offer.

Y/N saw Iida looking lost and sick in the corner, so he offered to help. He promised he didn't have any other ideas. He would never do that to someone.

But he offered to help Iida to the bedroom, and Iida took him up on the offer. And it's not like Iida was drunk, he seemed fine, just nervous.

And it went well! Iida kissed him back, was obviously turned on, and groaned all pretty like when he started grinding, and put him against the wall.

Iida was snapped back to reality when Y/N pulled away to take his shirt off. No. Wrong, this was not okay. He couldn't- Not with a man.

God, he would have to confess this a million times over.

"Wait," Iida stopped Y/N, trying to back away but forgot he was against a wall, and kinda just banged his head.

Y/N stopped immediately, eyeing him. "What?"

"I- I can't," Iida shook his head. They were too close. "Move- Please move."

Y/N listened, taking a few steps back. "Alright. Did I do something or..."

"You're a man."

Y/N was shocked by Iida practically looking disgusted. Didn't they just... Did he imagine that or something? Weren't they just making out?

"Yes I am," Y/N confirmed.

Iida gulped at how unfazed Y/N seemed. And why was he still shirtless? "I... I can't," He shook his head.

"We don't have to, man," Y/N tried to assure him, with a chuckle. "I'll leave and you never have to see me again. No problem," Unfortunately. Iida was really hot.

But it didn't matter, because it seemed like Iida wasn't listening.

"I just kissed a man," Iida mumbled, eyes moving down. "I almost... Oh my- I can't."

Y/N stared at Iida, seeing how he seemed to be panicking. "...Iida, it was just making out. Do you need anything? It's okay."

"No," Iida shook his head, walking past Y/N amd going to sit on his bed. "I'm- I'm sorry. But I'm straight."

Liar.

Y/N almost said it but realized that this was definitely not the time.

"I need to wait until to marriage," Iida added on, and Y/N was finally understanding. "And- not a man."

Y/N looked over Iida carefully. This was some religious shit? He wasn't sleeping with a hot man because his parents are religious assholes?

Well, he shouldn't assume, he guessed.

"Why not," Y/N asked, not really knowing what else to say or do.

"Because it's sinful," Iida huffed. "It's- It's gross. We're both men."

Y/N blinked. He should be offended, he really should. But this was just sad. That means he shouldn't laugh. He really shouldn't.

But he did. He chuckled, then quickly put a hand over his mouth, but it was too late.

"What," Iida asked, glaring at Y/N when he started laughing at him. Was this funny to him? He just wrote his way off to hell and he's laug-

"Jesus christ, Iida," Y/N laughed, dropping his shirt as he practically doubled over. "You're an ass, I thought I did something wrong!"

"You did," Iida huffed again. "Men kissing men is-"

"Yeah yeah," Y/N waved him off, taking a deep breath. "Can I sit by you? No touching, I promise."

Iida hesitated, but Y/N did listen to him earlier when he told him to stop, and move. So he nodded, moving over to make more room. Fortunately, Y/N sat on the way other side and not RIGHT next to him.

"So what is it," Y/N asked. "Kissing me will doom you to an eternity in hell? Everytime you get a boner over some abs, you go and run to confess or whatever?"

Iida gaped at Y/N. How dare he accuse him of such acts? "I- I don't get... Hard over abs, or men in general. Or women. And yes, I do confess when I do something wrong. This was wrong, I will confess."

"Eh," Y/N shrugged. He didn't bother ever learning the details of any religion, and he bately knew the specific one they were talking about at the moment. "You got pretty damn hard while kissing me."

Iida felt his face burn. "I did not!"

"You so did," Y/N smirked. "Don't worry, I won't snitch to whoever your God is. But I'm pretty sure in almost any religion, confessions don't matter unless you mean it."

"I don't see your point," Iida shook his head. "It will be genuine."

"No it won't," Y/N spoke, matter-of-factly. "You slipped up now. You'll slip up again. What, you gonna fake date a girl the rest of your life and break her heart once the truth comes out? Would your God accept that?"

Iida stuttered. "Wh- No! I am straight! There is no truth to- to come out!"

"Why would you follow a God that won't accept everyone," Y/N's sudden genuine question through Iida off. "I can only imagine you look up to this God but yet you're sitting there, still hard over us making out, and now you're insulting me because of who I am as a man."

Iida didn't know what to say to that, so he stayed silent.

"Whatever," Y/N sighed, running a hand over his face. "You gotta go confess of whatever. Fun while it lasted."

Iida watched Y/N stand and finally put his shirt on. He didn't like how he felt. He knew it was rude to say the things he did, but... But it was true, wasn't it? God wouldn't want him to sleep around.

"How do you do it," The question stopped Y/N from leaving.

"Do what?"

"This," Iida gestured to both of them. "How do you just sleep around with no guilt?"

"Wow, okay," Y/N scoffed but had a playful smile in his face. "I don't sleep around. I wanted to sleep with you."

Great, he's being rude again.

"I just," Iida cleared his throat but Y/N stopped him.

"Iida," Y/N turned to him. "I did this by being myself. I didn't choose to be attracted to dick. This is who I am, I like men. You can deny and deny all you want but you do too. Confessing won't change anything."

"Then help me," Iida practically whispered. Y/N knew how he was feeling. Y/N was nice, would stop if he wanted, and wasn't phased when he made a stupid comment. He needed this, maybe to give him closure. He wouldn't even like it, of course. He knew he was straight.

"Help how," Y/N had a good idea, but it would be embarrassing if he was wrong.

"Just uhm," Iida gulped. "Have uh-... Sex with me."

Damn, he really just out right said that? Does Y/N have magical words or something? He barely said much!

"You sure," He asked, walking up to Iida. Iida looked to the floor and nodded. "No, c'mon."

Iida almost jumped at the hand that moved him to look up. And- wow, okay. This was happening. It was wrong but- No. It's okay. Just one time, and he'll be done.

"I need to hear you're okay with this," Y/N looked Iida in the eye. "And that you won't go snitching on me to God and shit."

Iida eyes widened slightly at Y/N's question, then he held the smile back when Y/N laughed at his own stupid joke.

"I'm okay with it," Iida nodded, face still in Y/N's hand.

"Tell me you want this," Y/N needed this confirmation.

"I want this," No, he needed this.

"Good boy," Y/N whispered, smiling.

Oh. Good boy? No, that wasn't fair- He can't just call him random names like that.

Then Y/N was on his knees in front of him, and he swore, his face would light of fire the second Y/N started kissing his thighs.

"Oh god," He whispered, mind running.

Y/N shook his head, sitting up to kiss Iida's neck. "There's no God here right now. Just you and me."

No, he was wrong. God was everywhere. How was he supposed to just forget that? Would he even be able to have sex without feeling like there are shameful eyes upon him?

He gasped suddenly when teeth dug into his collar bone, gently. "Focus on me, Tenya. I'm gonna do such a good job, making you feel good."

Iida doubted that. Not that he was doubting Y/N, but he wasn't even enjoying this-

Y/N grinned at Iida's moan when he kissed over his hard cock. "Damn. Sensitive, huh? You ever even jack off?"

"Of course not," He breathed out, shaking his head. And... It wasn't completely true but he did it very rarely.

"Not surprising," Y/N snickered, undoing Iida's belt. "If I do something you don't like, let me know."

God, Iida's parents would kill him if they saw him like this. With Y/N practically worshipping his now freed... Penis.

Y/N could only grin at the size of Iida's cock. Fucking huge. It sucked that Iida was so hellbent on being "straight."

"Goddamn, Tenya," Y/N took the length into his hand. "You're huge."

Iida jumped at the touch, then put a hand over his mouth. No. He wouldn't enjoy this.

Y/N thought over what he was going to do. Maybe suck him off? Not let him come though. Would that upset him? Maybe he should just start prepping him. Wait, should Iida really be bottoming for the first time around?

"What do you want," He decided to ask, looking up to him.

Iida gave him a confused look, taking the hand off his mouth to talk. "I want to have se-"

"No, I know that," Y/N shook his head and sat up. Then he kissed Iida, a hand going up to slide behind his head.

Iida sighed into the kiss. The touch was almost reassuring, which was what he wanted to say, but that couldn't make sense. He didn't didn't dwell on it too long, with Y/N talking to him again.

"I'm asking what you want," Y/N asked, kissing Iida's neck. "Tell me, baby, tell me what you want."

What did Iida want? He wasn't sure.

"I don't-"

"You know," Y/N nodded, not excepting such an answer. "You want this, and you want something from me. Tell me. What do you want?"

"Fuck me please," Iida whispered, pathetically.

Y/N was honestly shocked by hear the man swear in his ear, and on top of that, ask him to fuck him. But he could only grin.

"Good boy," He mumbled, before pulling his shirt off again. He hoped it would stay off this time.

Y/N stood and laid Iida down, before removing Iida's pants and briefs completely. "Lay on the pillows, and get on your stomach."

Iida couldn't do much but listen, soon having his face buried in pillows as he felt Y/N move behind him. Embarrassing. This just got so embarrassing.

He huffed at the kisses that ran down his spine. He tried not to think about how Y/N had every reason to be mean to him after how he talked to him earlier.

"I can only assume you don't have lube," Y/N spoke up and Iida felt his face burn.

"Of course not," He gulped.

"That's what I thought," Y/N sighed.

Iida jumped when hands grabbed his ass. "Wha- what're you doing?"

"Prepping you," Y/N snorted. "I can't just fuck you, especially with no lube. I'd rip you open. This might be embarrassing for you but I'm sure you don't want to explain to the doctors and your parents why you're in the hospital."

That was a good point.

Iida cleared his throat. "Just... Be gentle, please."

Y/N leaned down to kiss Iida's shoulder. "Of course. As gentle as you need."

Good. Y/N wasn't going to be mean to him. That was a good sign.

Y/N sat up again. "If you need me to stop, just tell me okay?"

Iida nodded, almost afraid to talk.

Again, hands grabbed his ass. He buried his face in a pillow when he felt a kiss right above his ass. This was happening.

He swallowed down a noise when Y/N's tongue pushed past his hole, but couldn't stop the slight movement of his hips. It was weird feeling. It had to be a sign that it was wrong.

Iida bit down on his lip when Y/N's tongue pushed inside of him. It didn't hurt but again, it was just weird.

Part of him wanted to look. To see Y/N eating him out. To see the way Y/N's hands ran up his back and then down back to his ass.

Then he felt something tougher enter him. Definitely a finger. He still fought to stay quiet but his legs moved, almost in a way that he flinched.

"It'll just be uncomfortable," Y/N spoke up, pulling away. "Promise."

He was right, it was uncomfortable. But he's been through much worse with hero work, he could endure this.

"Lift your hips up," Y/N instructed. "On your knees."

Iida listened, lifting up on his knees. He felt even more exposed like this. Then Y/N started stroking his cock, gently and in time with the way the finger inside of him moved.

He fought hard to stay quiet, breathing picking up. He let out a small moan when another finger was slid into him, gently. Y/N's tongue joined in once again.

"Y/N," He mumbled. Y/N hummed and he gasped.

Y/N pulled away to smirk at Iida's gasp. "It's okay if it feels good, Iida."

"It doesn't," Iida shook his head, then choked as Y/N's hit something.

"I think that's a lie," Y/N accused, going to repeatedly hit Iida's prostate. "Regardless, I already know you're gonna feel so good around me. I'll be surprised if I last 3 minutes."

Iida gripped the pillow, no longer able to hold in his groans. "St- stop talking."

Y/N snorted. "What? Can't handle a few words?"

Iida moaned out as a third finger slid inside of him, pulling away for a moment. "Too much- Y/N."

Y/N took his hand off Iida's cock, moving to kiss up his back. "You're doing so good for me, Iida. You got this baby. You can take it."

Iida nodded after a moment, and Y/N slid the three fingers back in. This time, Y/N lifted his head to kiss him. He accepted it gratefully, focusing on that rather than the sting from the stretch.

As embarrassing as it was, he was thankful for Y/N repeatedly... Spitting, to keep it from being dry.

"Y/N," He groaned as Y/N's mouth attacked his neck.

"Doing so good," Y/N smiled. "You look so good like this, Iida. So beautiful under me, making a mess."

Iida huffed when those fingers were pulled free. He felt so empty and he hated it. He was supposed to hate this.

He felt Y/N get off the bed and looked over to him. He gulped as he saw Y/N strip off his pants. His eyes shot to the ever-telling tent in the other man's briefs.

Then they were off, and Y/N was naked. Iida looked away, digging his face into the pillow. What did he get himself into?

He sighed as he felt Y/N sit back behind him, hands running up his back.

"You can still back out," Y/N offered.

Iida shook his head. "I'm fine."

"Alright," Y/N adjusted until he was lined up. He pushed in slowly, and eyed Iida the whole time, watching for a reaction.

Iida flinched bit, jaw dropping at the stretch. He moaned when Y/N started jacking him off, slow and gentle. He only felt relief when they're hips met, not sure if he could take any deeper.

"Y/N," He huffed, mumbled in the pillow, not sure of what else to say.

"Good job," Y/N chuckled, pulling Iida's face out of the pillow. "You're doing so good, Iida."

Iida wanted ot call him a liar. All he was doing was laying there, but a gasp took over his voice instead, when Y/N moved. He moaned, holding the pillow tighter when the dick pulled out, just to slam back in.

Okay, slam was an overreaction, but still, it was pretty quick.

"God, you sound so pretty," Y/N kissed Iida's neck, making sure he couldn't hide his face again. "Tell me how it feels, Iida. Nice and clear for me, you can do it."

Iida gulped. "It's a- oh god," Y/N slammed in again, starting a slower pace.

"Keep going, baby," Y/N grinned even wider.

"It's full," Iida eventually mumbled out, voice sounding rough.

"Full," Y/N repeated, chuckling. "C'mon, what else?"

Iida knew what Y/N wanted. He knew what he wanted him to say.

"It's good," He moaned out, head dropping down. He had given up. It felt good, he couldn't deny it. "I feel so good- Please don't stop."

"I won't," Y/N promised, speeding up now that he got the confirmation he wanted. "Good job, Iida. So good. You feel so amazing around me."

Iida moaned, feeling the dick in him move quicker, the sound of their hips smacking together taking over his brain. He already knew his legs were shaking, especially when a hand went back to his dick, once again.

Y/N jacked him off, listening to the open mouth moans that fell out. Iida wasn't moving at all, doing nothing to help, and something about it was so hot to Y/N.

"I can't tell of you're scared to move or if you're just a fucking pillow princess," Y/N laughed.

"Not scared," Iida groaned, eyes almost rolling back. "Oh my- Please don't stop."

Y/N grinned at the almost whiney beg. "How cute..."

Iida huffed as Y/N sat up, and grabbed his hip. Then it was a moan that escaped him as Y/N pulled him back on on his cock, roughly and repeatedly. He felt his legs almost give out, but Y/N kept that hold on his hip.

"Fuck," Iida moaned out.

Y/N groaned as Iida swore out, his voice breaking.

"Y/N," Iida breathed even heavier. "I'm- I'm gonna-"

"Yes," Y/N moved both hands to Iida's hips, driving him back quicker. "Come, come on my fucking cock Iida."

Iida moaned, letting his body collapse, all on the bed except for his hips, which Y/N still held up. He came just seconds later, eyes screwing shut.

"Y/N- Oh my- Y/N, it's-" He moaned, that dick still drilling in him.

Y/N pulled out, using his hand to jack himself off. He should start keeping condoms on him.

He groaned as he came, careful to keep it on him, and not Iida. He could gentlemen when he wanted to be.

Iida breathed heavily into the pillow he collapsed into, moving his arms to hold it. And it just hit him... What do people do after sex? What do you say? Thank you?

That didn't sound right.

Y/N eyed Iida, his back, his hips, his ass. Goddamn, those fucking arms. Those thighs. He looked godlike.

He leaned down to help Iida to his back. The second he was laid comfort on his back, Y/N kissed him.

Iida groaned at the sudden kiss. It wasn't gentle at all, Y/N's hand going to his neck and he took control once again. He would call it needy if he didn't know better.

"You're so hot," Y/N laughed, other hand going straight to Iida's dick.

"Y/N," Iida gasped as he felt a hand go back to his dick, jacking him off. "It's too much- Oh god."

"You sound so goddamn beautiful, baby," Y/N bit his neck, not hard enough to leave a mark but hard enough to make the other moan.

"Fuck," Iida's voice shook, hips moving. He didn't know whether it was towards the almost painful pleasure or away from it,

"Y/N," He moaned again, reaching down to hold his wrist still. He was almost horried to learn that he was the one doing most of the work, grinding up into the hand. But he couldn't stop, not with Y/N kissing him like he was.

And man, he wouldn't stop kissing him. He moaned all messily, spit probably runnibg down his chin because Y/N would not back off. He didn't mind it too much, it felt amazing to have someone want you that bad.

But then Y/N pulled away completely, and moved down in between his legs. He couldn't, he could not leave this room without feeling the weight of that big cock on his tongue.

Iida practically cried out as Y/N wrapped his mouth around the head of his cock. "What're you- Oh God," He gasped as Y/N leaned down, taking more into his mouth, and he physically felt the head of his cock hit the back of his throat.

He watched as Y/N pulled back, just to go back down. He bobbed his head roughly, hand jacking off what he couldn't fit in his mouth.

He gave up on talking, just moaning as Y/N worked him closer amd closer to another orgasm, one he wasn't sure he could handle. He gripped Y/N's hair, tightly.

"I ca- can't," He managed to cry out. "It's too much- Oh god- Please I'm gonna- ahh!"

Y/N tasted the come that hit the back of his throat, and almost gagged as it definitely hit the way back of his throat, but managed to pull away and swallow.

"Jesus christ," Y/N grinned, sitting up and straddling Iida, who looked completely fucked out. "Well look at you."

"Please don't look at me," Iida huffed and Y/N laughed, kissing his cheek.

"I'll be right back," Y/N hummed, getting off the bed.

Iida watched as he went into his bathroom, still naked. He left his head fall back and his eyes close. He decided to not think about what he just did, just wait for Y/N to come back.

And he did just moments later, holding a rag. "How rich are you? Your shower is the size of my whole bathroom."

Iida ignored the comment, just following Y/N's movements as he wiped... His penis, off. God, this was so embarrassing.

"You okay," Y/N asked, seeing how Iida covered his face.

"'M fine," Iida mumbled, and Y/N chuckled.

"You sure?"

Iida uncovered his face as he nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay."

"Good," Y/N smiled, dropping the rag once he was done with it.

"What now," Iida asked, eyeing him.

"Now is when you either beg me to stay, or you tell me to fuck off," Y/N grinned.

Iida huffed. "You can stay."

"I'll take what I can get," Y/N reached down to grab his briefs, and gave Iida his.

Just moments later, they laid next to each other in the bed, and a thousand things were running through Iida's head. He turned his head to eye Y/N, who had his eyes closed. Was he already asleep?

"I feel you staring at me," Y/N smiled softly, turning to look back at him. "What's up?"

Iida shrugged. He didn't know. But... He did want something. He sat up and kissed Y/N, who hummed, pulling him close.

Iida's mind calmed down as Y/N kissed him back, gently. He would think about it later. He didn't need to right now, not with Y/N holding him.

"You okay," Y/N asked, eyeing him.

"I'm okay," He nodded.

#mha smut #x reader #x y/n #dom y/n #dom reader #sub iida #iida smut #tenya smut #tenya iida smut #bottom iida #bottom tenya iida

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idyllic-ghost · 2 years

Text

the other woman; mingyu x fem!reader

request: Hey do you write seventeen angst? Idk if you are still doing requests but I was hoping you can write a dramatic angst using either Joshua, Hoshi, Wonwoo, Mingyu, or Minghao, Vernon but two of them as leads. Idk why I’m a sucker for cliche stuff like cheating or betraying kind of stuff and a touch of sadness.

synopsis: you're married to wonwoo, but his parents desperately wants him to have a child - which you cannot have. he gives into his parents wishes and meets the other woman, whom he eventually agrees to marry as well. you're left heartbroken for a few years, seeing the man you love build a family that you had always wanted, but happiness is on the horizon as you meet someone new.

a/n: i just wanted to get this finished, so i'm sorry if it feels a bit rushed. i completely forgot the story line i had wanted in the beginning, and it's just been sitting in my drafts for the longest time...

cw: slight bit of angst

genre: fluff, found family

word count: 5.9k

read part one!

read part two!

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by the time you got home that night, you had partially forgotten about wonwoo. mingyu made sure to get you happy and smiling brightly again, even if it was just for a short cab ride. as you left the car, you felt like the sun was perched on your shoulders - warmth spreading through your body, and light emitting from your smile.

"goodnight, sweetheart.", mingyu said from inside the cab. you were leaning against the open door.

he had tried to get outside the car to say goodbye, but you assured him that it wasn't necessary. as you handed him his jacket, he put his hand on yours and gently tugged at you to lean further down.

"would it be very inappropriate of me to kiss you right now?", he asked quietly, "because i would really like to, but only if you feel-"

you broke the distance, and before he could say another word kissed him quickly. when you leaned back up mingyu's eyes were still closed.

"thank you for tonight.", you said, "i really needed a night out."

"anything for you.", he said without thinking, only realizing the meaning of the words after he spoke them.

he cleared his throat and turned away from you to hide his flustered face. the cab driver asked if he was going to have to wait there all night, in a half-joking manner, and mingyu quickly apologized.

"goodnight, mingyu.", you said with a small, teasing grin.

"i'll see you soon.", he answered.

the next time you saw mingyu it was unexpected. you had decided to go to the park, to enjoy the spring warmth and an excellent book. it was sunday, which meant that you didn't have any work, and you could do whatever you liked with your time. the thought of asking mingyu if he wanted to meet up certainly popped into your brain, but you presumed that he was busy. the occurrence of the end of your date was also weighing heavy on your shoulders. the odd chance that you'd meet your ex while on a date seemed ridiculously small to you. even if the date had ended rather well, you still felt embarrassed.

as to not dwell on the awkward interaction, you decided to not think about it while on your walk. the park was big, another plus of living in a well-off neighborhood, and it had many benches where you could spend your leisure time. the weather was just right, not too cold and not too hot. there were some concerningly dark clouds in the sky, but they were too far away for you to care about them.

you found a spot by a small duck pond, with a bench looking over the water. after sitting down, you pulled out your book and started reading. it felt nice to get out of your apartment. if you hadn't, you would've been sitting on the couch watching yet another show by now. the thought was definitely tantalizing, but being here was better for your overall health. besides, if you hadn't ended up sitting down at that bench, you wouldn't have met up with mingyu.

"miss y/l/n!", you heard a familiar voice shout.

you looked up from your pages, putting your index finger where you left off before closing the book. by the duck pond, now happily running towards you was ari, followed closely by ji-u. a smile spread across your lips as you watched the two girls approach you. you put the book back in your bag to greet them.

"what are you guys doing here?", you asked as they reached your place by the bench, "are you visiting the ducks with your grandparents?"

you didn't know why you assumed that they were with their grandparents and not mingyu. maybe because of the fact that he always seemed very busy. the girls didn't have time to answer before you looked up and saw the man himself standing in front of you. it felt weird to see him in just jeans and a t-shirt, and a normal jacket for once. paired with his messy hair, he just looked like a normal dad.

"they're here with me.", he smiled, making your heart flutter.

"he was going to feed the ducks with us, but the ducks swam away.", ji-u explained.

"yeah...", ari disappointedly looked up at her dad, "he totally scared them away."

"i was trying to get closer to them!", he exclaimed with an embarrassed grin.

you let out a soft laugh at the trio. their antics were endless, but you enjoyed watching the show they put on. a small ache took its place in your chest. watching them made you remember the family that you had always wanted, but were cursed with never being able to have.

"dad's also helping us practice for the play", ji-u added, "because he said he can't come on friday, so he wanted to watch us do it now."

"you can't be there?", you furrowed your brows as you looked up at mingyu.

"there's a meeting i have to be at, and it ends right as the play is supposed to start.", he sighed, "i told them i would try to make it but, you know..."

"well, i heard that they record the plays so... maybe i can get you a copy of that.", you said, "but i do hope that you at least try to get there, even if you only see the last parts."

"of course...", he nodded and the conversation faded into silence, "... i texted you this morning."

"you did?", you took your phone out of your bag, "sorry, i have my phone on silent."

it was a short message. a simple question, if you would like to meet up in the park. you smiled when you saw it. when you looked back up at him, he was looking away. a slight blush was spread across his cheeks and the tips of his ears. cute.

"dad said you couldn't come with us to see the ducks, did you change your mind?", ji-u asked.

her question made mingyu's face grow even redder, and your smile grow fonder. you looked down at ji-u, brushing a few strands of hair out of her face.

"yes, i did.", you said and stood up.

"oh, but if you're busy-", mingyu started, but you quickly cut him off.

"i'm not busy", you told him.

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you spent the day with mingyu and his daughters; feeding the ducks, eating lunch, going to the playground, and simply enjoying each other's company. towards the middle of the afternoon, those clouds that you hadn't bothered being worried about were a lot closer than before. mingyu helped the girls zip up their coats before he turned to you. you were just wearing a blouse and a skirt since you weren't expecting to stay at the park for so long.

"are you cold?", mingyu asked, taking off his jacket before you could even answer.

"i'm fine, really.", you protested.

it was too late, mingyu's jacket engulfed your shoulders as he draped it around you. he fixed the collar of the jacket to hang securely, also letting his hands stay near you. you looked up at his face, he was staring right at you with a warm look in his eye. he was so close to you, you almost forgot the rest of the world around you.

"i wouldn't want you to catch a cold", he said quietly, "you take care of my kids after all."

"is that the only reason?", you asked, faking being offended.

"of course not.", he said with a small smile as he gently pushed some hair out of your face.

he opened his mouth to add something, but before he could it started raining. small droplets landing on your nose, you looked up at the about-to-be-downpour and took a step away from him.

"we should go home.", mingyu said, turning to his girls, "what do you say, girls?"

"will miss y/l/n come with us?", they asked.

"no girls, i have to go home", you crouched down to their eye level, "but i will see you tomorrow, okay?"

they both nodded, and unexpectedly swung their small arms around your neck - it almost made you stumble backward. you hugged them back and glanced up at mingyu.

"i will see you tomorrow too then?", he asked as you stood up.

"of course", you smiled, "i have to return this jacket, so."

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the very next day you were in your usual classroom, waiting for mingyu to pick up his daughters. they were the last ones there, as they always were, but this time it was getting very late. you were stealing worried glances at the clock every other minute. what if something had happened to him on the way here?

"did your dad say that he would be later than usual today?", you asked the girls carefully.

"no", ari said, "but he looked tired, so maybe he fell asleep."

before you could question her any further, mingyu barged in through the door. if you thought seeing him in jeans and a t-shirt was weird, it was even stranger to see him in sweat pants. like ari said, he looked very tired - even sick.

"i'm so sorry.", he took a deep breath, "i swear i didn't mean to be late, i fell asleep in my study and-"

he paused to sneeze. oh, he was definitely sick.

"mingyu, are you alright?", you walked up to him and pressed your palm against his forehead, "you're burning up."

"yeah, i have a small fever...", he leaned against your cool hand, "that feels very nice."

the girls giggled behind you, reminding you that they were still there and that you should try to not make a scene to worry them.

"why didn't you let your parents pick them up?", you spoke in a low voice, "you didn't go to work like this, did you?"

"i did... they sent me home, so i worked in my study.", he explained with a goofy grin, "it's a lot nicer to work from home, i don't have to dress up... but i didn't want to miss seeing you, so i didn't bother asking my parents."

"you are so incredibly irresponsible.", you said and made his grin fade, "you should be resting... did you drive here?"

"yeah, of course.", he said, almost complaining when you took away your hand from his forehead.

"let me drive you home.", you sighed, "is that okay with you?"

mingyu handed you his keys, which you quickly accepted. this was definitely against some sort of work code, but you didn't care. these girls needed to get home safe, and mingyu needed to rest as much as he could.

"let's go girls, i'm taking you home.

after getting the girls into their respective seats and buckling their seat belts, you got into the driver's seat. mingyu was sitting beside you, leaning his head against the headrest. he looked like hell, but somehow still managed to be cute. you still had his jacket from the day before and draped it over his chest like a blanket.

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you drove them to their home, following the GPS' orders carefully. mingyu fell asleep during the drive, and the girls sat in the backseat whispering and giggling. when you got to the destination you had to wake him up.

"it's this house right there, just park the car right in front of the garage... I'll fix it later.", he mumbled.

the house was big, built with modern architecture. big glass windows, long black, and white walls, and a flat roof. before getting lost in the beauty of the outside of his home, you helped the girls get out of the car.

"let me unlock the door.", mingyu yawned and got out of the car.

the inside of the home was well decorated and had dark wooden floors. there was a big living room area, which was connected to a patio. you could see back into the garden through the big glass sliding doors, quickly noticing a pool back there. the kitchen was also in the downstairs area. the cabinets were black, and the floor was lined with classic black and white tiles. everything looked neatly put together, especially compared to your apartment.

"you should go to bed...", you told mingyu.

"will you come with me?", he asked with a slight flirtatious tone.

"you're really getting on my nerves today.", you sighed, but couldn't help the warmth creeping up on your face.

you took a quick look around again, noticing that the girls had already sat down on the couch.

"are they allowed to watch TV now?", you asked mingyu and he nodded, "girls, do you want to watch something?"

"yes please!", they both said in unison.

you turned on the TV and switched it to a kids' channel before getting back to the very sick mingyu.

"now let's get you to bed.", you sighed and grabbed his arm, "where's your bedroom?"

"up the stairs."

after getting him into bed you pulled the covers over him and sat on the edge of the bed. mingyu put his hand on your thigh, and you put your hand on top of his.

"did you get sick while walking in the rain yesterday?", you asked.

"most likely.", he answered.

"i'm sorry...", you sighed and took his hand in both of yours, bringing it closer to you.

"it's not your fault, sweetheart.", he said, "... thank you for bringing me home. i really appreciate it."

"do you need me to do anything else? i can make dinner for the girls.", you said.

"that'd be very nice.", he nodded and closed his eyes, "i'll help you, i just need to close my eyes for a bit."

"no, you will not help me.", you sighed and put down his hand over the covers, "you are going to rest up. i'll stop by with some food for you before i leave."

"thank you.", mingyu had accepted defeat, "the twins go to bed by 8 o'clock sharp."

"and their room is..?"

"down the hall to the right. it's right in front of my study and right next to the bathroom.", he sighed and got comfortable under the covers.

"i'll take care of it, don't worry.", you smiled, "rest well, alright?"

mingyu let out a grunt for an answer as you left the room. the upstairs area wasn't as big as the downstairs area, but it was still around the same size as your entire apartment. you looked around in awe, never having imagined that this was what mingyu's home would look like. despite having two kids, he kept everything clean - you thought until you saw the kids' room. toys were scattered here and there, but there was still enough space to walk around in the big room. the girls slept in separate beds in separate corners of the room. there was a big window right in between the beds, allowing light to flow inside. it was a pretty room, although it was a bit messy. the mess wasn't a big problem, just some stuff on the floor - it was easy enough for you to put away. once that was done, you explored further. you found the upstairs bathroom, where you noticed a toothbrush stand with three toothbrushes standing next to each other and one empty slot. after the bathroom, you found mingyu's study, which you only took a quick glance at. this room was even messier than the girls', and you assumed it was because he left in a hurry earlier. there were tissues piling up in the trash, and papers all over the dark wooden desk. the blinds were closed, leaving the room feeling closed off. you quickly left that room, not wanting to intrude more than you already had. on your way to the staircase, you passed a room, right in front of mingyu's bedroom, that you had somehow missed. it wasn't the time for snooping anymore, you thought and decided against going in there.

when you got down the stairs you found the girls still watching TV. their attention went away from the screen as you came in to check on them.

"are you feeling hungry?", you asked and they both nodded, "do you want to help me make some food?"

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

after making dinner, and tucking ji-u and ari into bed, you got a plate of the leftovers and brought it up to mingyu's room. the room was still dark, and he was still lying in bed in the same position you had left him in. maybe he had shifted around a bit because his hair was a bit messier than before. you sat down beside him and put your hand on his arm.

"i have some food for you", you said softly, "and some water."

mingyu opened his eyes ever so slightly, shifting in the bed to bring his hands up to his face to rub the sleep out of his eyes. when he was done he sat up, leaning his back against the headboard.

"you're too nice to me.", he muttered.

"you would've done the same for me", you shrugged, "here, drink up."

you handed him the water and put the plate of food on his bedside table while he drank. a nervous feeling started spreading in your chest, suddenly realizing the position you were in. to combat these unfamiliar emotions, you got up and started closing the blinds.

"i put the girls to bed", you spoke as you worked on closing the blinds, "they weren't very happy to go to sleep when you hadn't kissed them goodnight yet."

"they get antsy if we don't follow the routine.", he chuckled, "could you hand me the plate."

you sat back down beside him, head buzzing with nervousness, and took the plate. without thinking you took the fork to feed him like you used to do with the stubborn kids at the kindergarten you worked at before. only when mingyu had taken a bite, looking a little bit shocked, is when you realized what you were doing.

"i'm so sorry", you quickly tried to hand him the plate, "it's an old habit, i wasn't patronizing you, i swear-"

mingyu only laughed, pushing away your attempt at giving him the plate. he couldn't get a word out, still trying to chew through the fit of giggles. his hand was over his mouth as he looked away from you, if he were to look in your lost puppy dog eyes he would definitely start laughing again.

"it's alright.", he said after calming down, "i don't mind being pampered... especially not by you."

your eyebrows shot up over your forehead. mingyu motioned for you to come a bit closer, and you shuffled a few inches closer to him. he looked expectantly at the plate, and then back at you. with a slightly shaky hand, you brought another spoon of food to his mouth, which he gladly accepted. seeing him genuinely happy over this made you a bit more comfortable. you shuffled even closer to him, sitting down in a better position to feed him. it felt strange, and you couldn't help but laugh a little at his happy expressions.

"you cook well.", he said quietly as you took the last of what was on the plate on the spoon.

"it was just something i threw together, really", you said, "it's nothing special."

"thank you, anyway.", he said before taking the last bite.

you put the plate on the bedside table again, but before you could leave mingyu grabbed your arm. he looked up at you through his eyelashes, and you could've melted at the sight. he gently pulled you back towards him, making you sit down beside him again.

"i'm really sorry that i caused you so much trouble today.", he said softly and put his hand on your knee.

"you didn't.", you smiled, "i wanted to do this, otherwise i wouldn't have been here."

suddenly you started hearing giggling behind you. when you turned around you saw two black-haired heads peeking out from the side of the doorframe. your body was in the way for mingyu to see them, but his daughters were grinning widely at the sight of the two of you.

"girls, it's bedtime!", mingyu said kindly, yet sternly.

"we know!", they giggled, "but we didn't get to say goodnight to you."

the girls ran inside the room and crawled up on the bed. you were about to get up to give them space when you noticed that mingyu's hand hadn't moved from your leg. he squeezed it gently and when your eyes met his they seemed to be asking you to stay. so you sat there with them, watching as mingyu spoke with his daughters and apologized for not saying goodnight earlier.

"i was feeling a bit sick, so i had to rest", he explained, "which made me miss your bedtime."

"are you better now? did ms. y/l/n make you better?", ari asked and looked at you expectantly.

"he's doing a lot better than he was before", you said as you glanced between the man in front of you and his daughters, "but my expert opinion says that he still needs a full nights rest."

"you can't kiss it better?", ari asked, giggling with her sister.

"yeah, you can't kiss it better?", mingyu asked in a mocking tone, gently squeezing your leg again.

you put your hand on top of his and put it down beside you again. even if he was able to be very mature most of the time, he had a tendency to bring out his childish side. as you took his hand away from your leg, he almost looked like he regretted saying it.

"a good night's rest is all he needs, i promise you.", you assured the twins, "so you two should go back to bed."

they said goodnight to their father and hurried back to their room, leaving you all alone with mingyu again.

"i'll go check that they're really sleeping before i leave.", you said.

"you're leaving?", he sounded surprised, and by the grimace, he made afterward he didn't mean for it to sound like it.

"well yeah, i couldn't possibly intrude for any longer than i already have.", you said.

"y/n, you're not intruding.", he iterated, "i have a guest room, and you could borrow some clothes to sleep in for the night. it's so late, you shouldn't be going home alone at this hour."

he seemed so determined, and how could you give up on such an offer? his hand found its way back on your leg, a kind gesture that asked you to stay. you thought back to all the time you had spent together in the cabins. it had been so long that you seemed to have forgotten that you actually knew him quite well for just being his children's teacher. you took his hand in yours again, looking down at it to try to distract yourself from his strong gaze.

"i'm sorry that i left before", you spoke softly, "by the cabins... it was kind of a jerk move. i didn't even leave a note."

mingyu turned his hand to intertwine his fingers with yours. you looked at him with a shy smile. for some reason, you had thought of your second meeting as a new beginning, but you can't just erase memories with another person to start over.

"and i'm sorry for being an emotional wreck", you added, "and acting like i was a complete stranger when we finally met again."

"it's okay.", mingyu stated, "you've been through something horrible. i just wish that i could be someone you can lean on when you really need it... instead, you're here, treating me when i'm sick..."

you let out a stifled laugh. it felt nice to finally let your walls down a bit. mingyu squeezed your hand, getting your attention back on him.

"i'm not asking you to sleep in my bed with me because, frankly, that'd be very stupid considering that i'm sick", he said, making you laugh again, "but i just want to make sure that you don't have to go home alone, and that you're safe."

"alright, i'll take you up on your offer."

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

the next morning you woke up in mingyu's guest bed, in a borrowed pair of sweatpants and a shirt. the alarm on your phone had successfully woken you up an hour before you had to leave for work. you quickly got up and went downstairs, where you found mingyu making breakfast and the girls tiredly waiting at the table.

"why are you up? shouldn't you still be resting?", the words tumbled out of your mouth before you could even process them.

"good morning to you too, doctor.", mingyu joked and handed you a newly brewed cup of coffee, "you'll be happy to hear that my symptoms have-"

you pressed your hand against his forehead again, interrupting whatever he was going to joke about. his fever had gone down, and he looked a lot better than the day before.

"just a runny nose and a slight sore throat.", he smiled and took your hand away from his forehead, "what do you think? am i too sick to make breakfast?"

his grip on your wrist shifted to hold your hand instead. his eyes were glimmering in the low light of the kitchen lamp, and that warm smile never left his lips. if it weren't for the fact that he was sick, you would've kissed that smile off his face.

"no...", you sighed, "sorry, i overreacted-"

"you didn't.", he assured you, "it's nice to know that you care."

mingyu's arm sneakily wrapped itself around your waist and brought you closer. he leaned his forehead against yours, still looking into your eyes. you did your best to not spill anything out of your cup, but it was getting increasingly hard since you were starting to be distracted. you peered over your shoulder, noticing that the two of you had started getting the attention of the twins.

"could we save this for another day?", you asked and put a hand on his chest, "maybe when we're not being watched?"

mingyu looked up, immediately locking eyes with ari and ji-u who were almost standing on top of their chairs to see.

"hey! sit down in the chairs, or you'll fall over!", mingyu said and let go of you to bring the girls their breakfast.

you watched him walk away, carefully warning the girls of the dangers of standing up on the chairs as he put down their bowls. when he walked back to you, and the girls were deeply invested in their food, you decided to be a little mean. while mingyu was grumbling to himself you walked up to him and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. he looked at you, stopping whatever he was doing to just stare at you in shock.

"thank you for the coffee.", you said quietly, "i need to get ready, but i'll see you soon, right?"

"i can drive you to work", he blurted out, "i need to take my girls there anyway."

"if you're feeling fine then i don't see why not."

"oh, i'm feeling more than fine.", he tried to lean in, but you quickly stopped him.

"i don't need to get sick too.", you said and when he tried to protest you added, "i tried kissing it better... think of it was your medicine. doctor's orders!"

he watched you leave, his jaw was slightly slack. you were going to be the death of him.

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

you arrived at the school with yesterday's clothes and wearing whatever make-up you could find in your purse. so, of course, your closest coworker would notice.

"had a fun night?", joshua hong asked with a sly grin.

"my night was just fine, mr. hong.", you responded, but giving your secret away by smiling.

there were other people in the teacher's lounge, so you had to be discreet. however, being discreet with joshua wasn't easy. the two of you frequently sat down to gossip with each other, and most of the time you ended up getting too excited - ergo, too loud.

"i saw you walking in here with mr. kim...", he said quietly, "and i've never seen you wear the same clothes two days in a row, so you're going to have to tell me everything that happened last night."

"i will...", you said and interrupted his small celebration by adding "at lunch."

"you're no fun.", he sighed dramatically, making you laugh.

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

the week went by quickly, and you hadn't gotten to see mingyu as much as you had hoped. he stayed home until he was feeling well again, but then he had work to catch up on - so his parents ended up picking up the twins this week. a part of you still thought that he might show up to the play, for the girls' sake of course, even if it was naive of you to think.

friday, the day of the play, was spent making preparations for the afternoon - when all of the parents would come to see their kids perform. it wasn't anything particularly well-made, it was made by kids after all - but the work that the kids had put in truly made you proud. in the morning you immediately asked ji-u and ari if they knew if their dad would come after all. they had confirmed your fears, of him most likely not coming at all. despite them putting up a brave front, you could tell it made them very disappointed.

"well, why don't i act as your grown-up for the play? just so that you know that someone is watching you.", you suggested.

"don't you have to look at all of the kids?", ji-u asked.

"yeah, you're a teacher - it's not the same.", ari sighed.

"i'll tell you what...", you lowered your voice, "if you promise not to tell anyone, i'll promise to pay the most attention to you two this afternoon."

it seemed to cheer them up. they even made you pinky-swear on it. however, you knew it wasn't as good as having their actual parent - so you were determined to make mingyu at least see the few last minutes.

when everyone was in their costumes and had prepared for the play to start, you took your seat right by the stage. you saved a chair next to you, putting up a fake "reserved chair" sign on the seat. before the play started, even before the parents had started coming in, you pulled out your phone and called mingyu.

"are you on your way yet?", you asked as he picked up.

"i'm in the car right now, i managed to cut the meeting short", he answered, "i might make it in five minutes."

"great! i saved you a seat", you said happily, "it's right at the front."

"you got me front row seats? wow, you really know how to spoil a guy, y/n.", he joked.

"just be there, mr. kim.", you said, right as joshua sat down on the "non-reserved" seat next to you.

"mr. kim?", he whisper-yelled, knowing all about your relationship to the man by now.

"i have to go now...", you sighed into the phone.

"alright. thank you again, sweetheart", mingyu said, "i really do appreciate it."

as you hung up, joshua stared at you with his jaw on the floor. he had apparently listened intently to your call because he looked like he had heard something that he shouldn't have.

"he calls you sweetheart?", joshua laughed.

"shut up, joshua!", you hissed at him, "i told you that nobody else needs to know."

you knew that if people found out that you used to sleep with one of the parents of the children you educated, suspicions of special treatment would arise even if they had no real claim.

"you guys are so cute...", he sighed dreamingly, "i know you don't think it's a good idea... but i think you should go for it."

the parents started coming in before you could say something in response. your eyes were completely focused on the door, smiling at the occasional parent you would make eye contact with, but your main goal was to see mingyu walking through that door. all the parents had settled down and were talking amongst themselves. mingyu still wasn't there. the lights dimmed. mingyu still wasn't there. a teacher came out on stage to present the play. mingyu still wasn't there. the parents clapped after the teacher's short speech, and as he walked off the stage and the music started: mingyu came through the door. you happily waved to him, and he sprinted toward his seat just as ari and ji-u walked out on stage. he gave them two thumbs up and a supportive smile before sitting down.

"thank you.", he whispered in your ear.

you wanted to thank him too, for coming despite all the trouble, but the kids had already started speaking.

that was a year ago. it was when you had realized how much you felt for him, and for his kids. it was when you had decided that taking a leap of faith was worth it if it was for them. even if you were still hurt from your past, you put your trust in mingyu that he could help you heal those wounds.

you walked out of the school with ji-u and ari. as soon as you saw him walking toward you, your face broke out into a bright smile. the girls ran up to him first, you following with quick steps.

"how has your day been, girls? did you learn anything new?", he crouched down to be on eye level with them.

"mr. hong taught us multiplication!", ari said.

the girls had moved up a year, and you requested to not have them in your class for the following years. after all, it would be awkward for them to have their dad's fiancé as their teacher.

"you need to help me with my homework!", ji-u said.

"of course, i will, honey."

mingyu looked up at you with a small yet warm smile. he stood up, telling the girls to go into the car. you approached him, feeling as giddy as a teenager experiencing a crush for the first time.

"did you have a good day, mrs. kim?", he asked lovingly and wrapped his arms loosely around your waist.

"i'm not mrs. kim yet.", you said and put a hand on his chest.

"my kids call you mom.", he argued.

"doesn't make me a kim legally, though.", you responded with a giggle.

"you've been mrs. kim for a long time in my heart already", he grinned in a cheesy manner, "and you're about to put the last of your furniture in my house now. so i think the official papers are nothing but a formality."

he leaned in a placed a soft kiss on your lips, only a quick one because he knew that you didn't actually like doing anything of the sort while still at work. even if you were in the parking lot, and not on school grounds, you never knew who was watching.

"good afternoon, newlyweds!", joshua said with a grin as he walked past and you sighed as you watched the man walk up to his car nonchalantly.

"let's go home, yeah?", mingyu asked.

"i'd love that.", you smiled

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infinite-ticking-clock37 · 5 months

Text

Alright fellas, here's Infinites thoughts on III 17

!!SPOILERS BELOW!!

(Also CW for SilverCandle (for one of my moots))

Alright, so first off imma say I LOVED THIS EPISODE SO MUCH LIKE HOLY MOLY, IT WAS DIFFERENT FROM THE REST OF THE EPISODES IN A VERY GOOD WAY AND IT WAS FUNNY AS HELL TOO

Honestly SO GLAD that this was just to make extra episodes and not that the contestants help writing, idk why but I'm jus happy about thay

Sadly there wasn't much Silverloon this episode BUT WE GOT SOME SILVERCANDLE! AND I LIKE SILVERCANDLE SO THIS IS A WIN!!

Love his face bro omg. BRO IF THE OBJECTS CAN BLUSH THEN WE TOTALLY COULD'VE GOTTEN THE PART IN III 16 WHEN SILVER BLUSHES WHEN BALLOON COMPLIMENTS HIM AW MAN, tho this was very cute

THEN WE GOT MORE OF SILVERS INNER FLAME WHICH IS AMAZINGG

Sad that my theory on him setting on fire like a torch when his Inner flame comes out is wrong but yk we live on this is still cool (where's the cool third eye tho)

THEN WE GOT THE SUDDEN APPEARANCES OF CHEESY, PAPER, AND COINY FROM BFDI FOR SOME REASON

(didn't get a good screenshot of Coiny) also hfj one challenge real omg (I say we nominate Balloon to play the baby tomato/Charlie)

Oh god what to I talk about now uhhhhhhhhh OH YES

So much second hand embarrassment with that animation machine EVERYTIME, I CANT WATCH III 9 WITHOUT HAVING TO SKIP AHEAD FROM THE EMBARRASSMENT OF THE SHOWS, NOTHING GOOD COMES OUTTA THAT DAMN MACHINE AND THATS FINAL. (A little funny tho)

And to top this all off, GOODBYE NICKEL, YOU WILL BE MISSED!! FAREWELL

ok Nickels gone this means Silverloon has more opportunities for interactions =D /hj

Aww this is sweet I like this this is cute

Aww I'm slowly starting to like Nickloon a bit more aww-

OH WHAT THE FUCK AHH SPRINGY GO BACK DOWN THERE WHAT THE HELL I KNEW WE COULDN'T TRUST THAT DAMN WALKY TALKY WHAT THE HELL AHHHHHHH-

Anyways some final notes here

- Silver Spoon has a big fuckin crush on Candle

- Balloon is amazing at card towers

- Cabby can't draw for shit

- Springy is coming back

- fuck you Walky Talky lady

- II and BFDI are in the same universe

- Balloon can only befriend coins like the socially awkward guy he is (relatable I kin Balloon sm after that actually)

- Silver Spoon is amazing with cartoons

- i hate the animation machine

Thanks you for listening to me ramble about this episode there is just so much to talk about in this

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ch6douin · 10 months

Text

> Wᴀɴᴛ — IDV! SELF AWARE AU (4)

Victor is not my favorite but I wrote for him as if he was...ngl (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

cw: obsessive behavior (?); mentions of feeling/being watched; romantic in someway; light angst; victor is kind of paranoic.; short chapter as always idk why i cant FUCKING WRITE MORE

When he heard you, the experience was nothing short of breathtaking.

...

In a bad way.

Victor thought he was going crazy when that happened, that was his first reaction. He looked around, and there was no one. He looked at Wick...obviously, the dog wasn't the one talking. The voice didn't go away. Instead, it only intensified as he tried to go on with his matches. And then now, some weird feeling would make him move even if he didn't want to. He no longer had control of his body, and that scared him. The stress took control of his being, and he spent nights without sleeping, the idea of someone watching him being unbearable.

So how did he grow to like you? To care for your attention? It's simple: he felt himself warming up to you as he listened to your reactions and tone of voice. Victor was always fond of people's reactions, especially reading the letters he delivered, and it was no surprise that he slowly paid attention to yours too and got less panicked, he felt like he was important to be the one listening to you, and a weird yet inviting warmth filled his body. He enjoyed being the vessel to your entertainment, the doll who would coax out shocked gasps from you as he was supposed to get terror shocked, but somehow was still standing proudly after jumping through a window. He was the man who could make you giggle with his dances. He could be everything and much more if you let him hear more of your genuine answers.

You were the reason for the late-night midnight snacks and lesser hours of sleep. But now, it was because of the countless letters he wrote to you. Letters that he was sure he would not be able to send it out, but he needed to get those fervorous feelings out of his chest some way. Lovely packages with intricate designs piled up inside his drawer, flowers that would slowly wither glued with wax, and sweet words that would never be shown to others.

But now, with letters or not, he can talk to you. He can make you recognize him, and he just maybe, in a distant future, be able to look you in the eyes.

This is not working.

You're wary. Why did Naib have to mess up their peaceful approach with his bitter words? Now Victor couldn't do anything but type in a hurry a single 'It's me!' and their titles as he watches in horror the screen glitching and unfortunately going black. His hands go up to his face, hiding an expression twisted with sadness and frustration. Why did it have to be this way? He wanted you more than anything right now, but you wouldn't answer. Maybe you won't ever answer after this horrible experience. He doesn't care like the Mercenary if you may be using all of them, his curiosity is much bigger to care about it.

He storms out of the room, almost running through the long corridors to get the prototype to work again with Luca's maintenance.

priestess next wowwww im excited to see how its gonna turn out bc i don't really know a lot about her 👹...i wrote half of this listening to chamber of reflection from steezy knicks laying down on my bed.

#identity v x reader #idv x reader #idvselfaware #self aware au #victor grantz #victor grantz x reader #idv postman #idv mercenary

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whumpsoda · 28 days

Note

imagine Nevan having a want, a need of sorts. Darius wouldn’t care of course, but Adrastus spots it simmering beneath the surface and invites the thrall to state his need, without any punishment, but also without guarantee that it could be accommodated.

Nevan fights it at first but after Ad commands it via thrall he finally whispers that he wished Malak was less enthralled so he could have someone to talk to—like he had been when he was sick. a disgustingly selfish need on Nevan’s end that he fully expects to be punished for suggesting.

idk what happens next but I doubt Adrastus would be angry, perhaps having sympathy for the thrall while remaining firm that Malak would remain the way he is(??)

WOHEO Masterlist cw: hypnosis, captivity, servant whump, vampire whumper

———————————————————————

“Something wrong, dear?”

It was obvious to the vampire that something just had to be poking at the man’s usually muddled brain. From Nevan’s furrowed brows to his lack of concentration, his mind was clearly elsewhere.

Adrastus had been aiding him in washing some of the thrall’s dishes, bored of sitting around endlessly with nothing to do. The kitchen was tainted with a pinch of awkward air, but neither seemed to mind too much.

Nevan blinked hard, catching himself and swiftly continuing to scrub the dish between his fingers, flustered. “Um… no, no, of course not, master.”

“Nothing troubling you? Nothing at all?” They pressed, leisurely scraping food scraps into the sink.

Adrastus wasn’t an idiot. Of course he’d say no. He’d probably learned very quickly that his own master was in no way fond of entertaining the feelings of a thrall. A bit sad, if you asked them.

“No, sir.”

They sighed. “Nevan,” he stopped as they turned to face him, avoiding eye contact and biting his lip. “Do not lie to me. If something is the matter, tell me.”

For a moment, he hesitated. “Everything is, is fine, master. Nothing… nothing is wrong.”

“Love, I don’t appreciate you hiding things. I’m not going to punish you for whatever you have to say, I swear on it.”

“Master, I’m, I’m fine!”

They placed a hand to his exposed shoulder, rubbing their thumb over his lush skin. “Shhh, darling, you can trust me. You can trust master, I would never hurt you.”

Their smile only hardened as they noticed him easily slipping under their luscious control, eyes going glassy and muscles relaxing under their sweet, sweet touch. How utterly adorable. “Master… I… I’m fine…”

“You trust master oh, so much. You trust me with every single thought in that little mind of yours, even the bad ones. Master just wants to help you. Master can help you.”

He carefully dropped his plate to the counter, body swaying with silky ease and calm. “I’m… I…”

“C’mon, baby. You can tell Master. You want to tell Master.” Their aura was amping up with hypnotic force, tugging his secret right out from under him.

“I… I wish…”

“Nevan. Tell me.”

His voice fell to a soft whisper as his relent snapped into a shatter of tiny pieces. “I, I wish Malak was… awake. Like me. So, so I could have someone to talk to… like when he was sick.”

“Oh.”

How pitiful.

Yet, how utterly and undeniably endearing at the same time.

“Oh, dear.” Adrastus’ grin faded, falling into that of a compassionate pout. Pulling Nevan into a tight embrace they dug their head into his chest, contact he fully melted into.

After a moment of pleasant, warm hugging, Adrastus pulled the thrall to their level, cupping his chin. “I… understand that. Yes, I could see why you’d yearn for such a thing.”

Their heart split just the tiniest bit at the glimmer in his eye, like he dumbly believed they would consider such a thing. It was silly, really, but only made him ten times cuter. “Though, I’m sorry little love, I just can’t ease up on him like that. He needs such a heavy spell to quell his ever present anxiousness and messy mind. He needs it to feel good.”

“You understand, don’t you?”

“Yes… master…” his words were coated with dissatisfaction and disappointment, but still muddled with daze. So eager to please, he was, even when had he been more conscious he would’ve easily argued.

They would never let that happen.

Adrastus’ grin returned in full, almost as if it had never left. “Good, good. Such a good boy, you.” They tussled his hair, sending his mind reeling and his dopily happy expression to return as well. “Now, just remember, you can always tell me anything else your little mind stirs up, alright? No judgement here, baby.”

“Oh- okay. Of course… sir. Tell… tell you… anything…”

They chuckled, pecking him right on the forehead and whispering beside his susceptible ear. “Such an obedient thrall. Just splendid.”

In that of a flash their demeanor flipped, patting the thrall on the cheek and awakening him from their trance. “Now, back to your chores you go, darling!” Nevan quickly picked back up his task, this time with complete focus and attention like always.

Before they let the conversation go and risk the talk washing right out from Nevan’s memory, Adrastus leaned in close just one more time. “Then make sure you go spend some time playing with your little friend, okay?”

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Taglist- @softvampirewhump @iys-cloud @battyfantasy @xx-adam-xx @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl @mylifeisonthebookshelf

If anyone wants to be removed or added to the taglist, please let me know! :)

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gemmasgraveyard · 3 months

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Hi! My name is gemma, im 22 (mdi)

◇300lbs sw active in 2024◇

My account has gotten deleted so many times and it makes me so sad. Backup @riotgrrrlgemma

Sw: 305

Cw:??? Idk I don't have a scale

Gw:240

Gw2:222

Gw3:199

Gw4: 175

150 is the goal ♡

Or less

Read for stupid rambles, update frequently

If you scolled this far thx!

I'm gonna put some stuff here about me, like my favorite music and sh!t like that

I'm 22, a Gemini. Although I don't believe in astrology, I do think a little of it is true. Like,, my moon and rising are so accurate.

Scorpio moon, sag rising

Anyways, I'm a size 22, isn't that crazy?

I remember when I was size 18 and actually to into actually how my teen body changed from size 12 to 18. This was the lowest in my life, I basically just shoved down the way I felt with food. My parent kicked me out because I told them I was as by their partner.

Long story short they don't believe me and never will... so I kept shoving how I felt with food

Now I live alone, I'm happier

Or. Am I. Because like I don't feel anything but guilt and anxiety. I try not shove my face with food but unfortunately I'm not better than I was before.

I'm still so fucking massive and I've been doing this since November. I fucking hate my self.

Sorry to like trauma dumping

Anyway, I always found my outlit to be creativity. I love knitting, painting, crafting, and making diy clothes. Music is another thing I'm trying to dabble in, I love all music and all genres. How can anyone make a horrible song? At least, that's what I think. So much goes into it. It's just such a beautiful thing. Even in the songs that others find bad or corny, I love.

I love smoking w33d and gaming.

I know that sounds corny asf, but honestly, I could spend all day being a gremlin and not binge. I used to play Cold War so much, and because I have anxiety, I would clench my jaw. The way that felt was enough to make me not want to eat.

I want to start going out, but every time I do I feel so ugly and gross. I start to feel guilty just being there. I guess I'm guilty other people have to see me? I don't know. Anyways sorry for dumping this here. But yeah I might just dump my rambling I have in my head.

April 5

Sometimes I think God isn't real then I pray for strength in order to fast and it works.

April 12

I went out a few days ago. No one worried about how ugly I was because I did my makeup. I am starting a 44h fast. I love the number 4 soooo much. Anyways, I'm almost out of weed and cigs, which is very annoying... just like how my partner wanted to sit down with me and have dinner before he went to work. I tried to just serve him, but he was like almost lecturing me, and I ate. It's okay. Like I said, I'm starting a 44h fast now. I just hope this isn't a problem in the future. Update at 2 pm so my partner made me make breakfast, I'm not upset. I just had eggs, but I was able to make him some eggs and sausage. He went to go pick up his check, and he got me cigs and weed. But he came back with a pizza and was like "oh this is for dinner and maybe tomorrow's breakfast" so glad to have this man in my life but why pizza !

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2cmtall · 1 year

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oikawa x y/n scenario

Context: a scenario where oikawa and you help each other with your insecurities and struggles of self-loath.

A/n: a few years back I was really interested in Haikyuu, my favourite character being Oikawa (I almost always like the flirty, egotistical guys idk why 🤷‍♀️) and recently I decided to check out my pinterest board dedicated to this man. And that turned into me reading fanfics on tumblr an looking through pinterest. I'm honestly surprised that there are still people who like this show and there are some that still post about it. Even if you dont like/care for haikyuu or Oikawa, maybe this scenario in general could be interesting to you? 🙃

CW: I suppose themes involving self-loathing and feeling as though you're not pretty. Please excuse any misspellings or grammatical issues.

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For him to have a relationship with somebody who is not conventionally pretty.

You're not ugly by any means but because you have never recieved any confessions or experiences of love by guys in school, this has caused you to question your beauty. You dont necessarily try to be beautiful, opting to get extra sleep and pick out quick outfits rather than take the extra effort, but that doesnt mean you don't care. You just don't know where to start and not much motivation to go beyond your comfort zone.

That is until you met oikawa. Now the romance wasn't sudden, as most love at first sight portrays conventionally beautiful people.

Oikawa is the type to usually receive affection/attention from cute girls so he assumed that look was normal. When both of you meet, you both didnt really care for each other. He was just a popular guy, and you were just a girl.

You became their teams manager because it was recommended by a fellow student, but while you got accepted and was working, you were sometimes reminded of the fact that some if not most guys wanted pretty managers, something that you apparently arent (not true).

Oikawa, despite his previous lack of feelings for you, noticed. He noticed because as the weeks when by, he grew to appreciate your work and had a bare jist of who your were. So when you adorned a deep sadness in big volleyball games or any other event involving other teams and their managers, he took note of it. He was able to find the source of the problem when after the games or as the teams were mingling, he heard comments about how you were the "ugly duckling" among the other managers, saying that they feel bad for the team that has to see you every practice.

This for some reason irked him. He usually ignored comments regarding the managers because he knew what most guys wanted, it wasnt his business to get into he thought. And if he had to be honest, back then and still a bit now (though only to go along with convo with other guys), he makes comments about pretty managers.

But his view has changed ever since he caught glimpses of your true self. What areas you were passionate about, your strengths, even some of your weaknesses he knew. He knew from your actions how you were caring and empathetic, wanting to make sure he didn't overwork himself. There were times where everyone was groaning at his antics (to be expected. no one can blame them), but you were off to the side silently laughing. There were times where hes made comments about Tobio's unending talent, and you reprimanded him lightly, reminding him of his own talents, even if he couldnt quite see it himself. There were moments where he swore you could see through to his true self by the way you look at him in deep thought. You have even joined him in his antics, copying his silly moves and laughing alongside him. And last but not least, hes seen your competence and skill as a manager. You still had a lot to learn as it was your first year, but you had the drive to reflect and be better, which is important in a manager.

So when he heard those rude comments, it irked him because they were discrediting your work and even indirectly insulted his own team! As if! You are one of the reasons why their team does so well. Hes had enough. Done with the blatant insults, he walks towards the nobodies with false politeness, a smile not reaching his eyes. He looks down at them and says "hello! Sorry to disturb your thrilling conversation, but I couldnt help but concern myself over the talk of my dear manager." Their quick shock at seeing the king himself quickly sobered with laughter as they realized his words. One of the guys spoke. "Oh man! Shes Aoba jousai's manager?! What were guys thinking in letting her join? Doesnt your school have tons of cute girls?" Oikawa isn't fazed. "Why of course we do! But unfortunately, not all of them have what it takes to be a competent manager like y/n."

He then leans in closer, his smile wiped from his face, and speaks in low tone causing the two boys to look petrified and angry at the same time, offending by whatever oikawa said and angry by his audacity. It was the type of look that you have seen players make when an opponent is stronger than them and is looking down upon them. It was a sight to see to watch them angrily walk away from a smug oikawa. Even more amusing to see oikawa then get hit by a flying ball, its owner none other than iwaizumi.

You had no idea why he would jump to make such an action, ruling out the possibility that he might have done it for your sake as to not make embarrassing and hasty assumptions (you arent exactly oblivious to signs, more so doubtful the romantic type of motivations apply to you). Your conclusive theory is that he did it to defend aoba jousai, as they did indirectly insult the team (and you saw the way his face twitched at the sneering boys at the mention of the team). But even so, you cant help but feel a little better, especially when oikawa gave you a big smile and a peace sign afterwards.

Eventually one thing leads to another and oikawa decides to help you out by offering to give you makeovers, go over skin routines and do your hair for you in the mornings whenever he gets the chance, reassuring you many times that hes willing to wake up extra early for this. You were still very wary about the idea, not wanting to be a nuisance or a chore for him but after a lot of persuasion and pleading, you hesitantly agreed.

He ended up being very serious about the whole process, going over different products and processes, giving you tips and advice for achieving the confidence and the look that accentuates the beauty that's already there. Of course he is still teasing you and performing his usual antics, but when he gets to the nitty gritty processes and whenever you start to feel down about your self, hes serious, a layer of concern in his features.

For your first treatment, he let you stay put and allow him to do all the work, wanting you get a feel for the products and to also treat you since he could see the worry and self loath in your eyes as his fingers go over the black heads on your nose and the blemishes and scars on your face. But he can also see the genuine interest in your eyes and he smiles to himself whenever you close your eyes and unforrow your brows, completely relaxed when hes lathering products on your face or applying make up. Hes patient with the parts you might be scared of, like curling your eyelashes (hes quick to point out the beauty in them. You might laugh in denial but he saw how you gave yourself another look in the mirror, seeing if what he said was true). The way he goes over hairstyles are amusing, but also therapeutic. He teases at first, messing up your hair and holding your hair in a weird way intentionally to lighten the mood, but when you give him full/semi-full creative freedom (depending on if you have looks you'd prefer or didnt want), he worked to give you one he thought fit your looks and needs well. It would be therapeutic because his fingers would sometimes graze your scalp/skin and he would hum to himself, his fingers working rhythmically. Hes grown to like whenever you close your eyes when hes giving you makeovers cause it means you trust him and found the experience relaxing.

Overall the experiences are calming and hes done, although there are still some doubts, after some reassurment, you look much happier. Hes caught you once or twice looking at yourself in the mirror and he cant help but smile seeing you obsess over his work. Over some weeks, you've grown to experiment and be more confident about your looks, looking much happier at school than previously before, and in those morning sessions, the two of you have talked and bonded over different topics, ranging in all levels of seriousness or lack thereof. Hes grown to like to you for who you are, every side that you show him, and you've grown to understand him at a deeper level as well. You've both helped each other, you with your confidence and him with his tendency to overwork himself, but noth of you have helped each other with the others tendency to self loath.

Your romance was slow, and it took a while before one of you confessed and for you to accept that oikawa loves you, but since you both had a sense of understanding your relationship was healthy.

Bonus: I think it would be cute if oikawa helped you in subjects/areas you have trouble understanding. Through your study/HW hangouts and oikawas dramatic antics and way of teaching, it helped strength your bond and to give yourself confidence that your capable of understanding any material as long as you have the motivation and the right learning strategies that work for you. You have both also took this time to watch previous volleyball matches where oikawa enthusiastically teaches you all there is to know about volleyball and the specific matches and players. It was very educational and you enjoyed seeing him passionately talking about it. It would also be cute if you two subconsciously watched close together, as if you were a couple.

#haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa x reader #Oikawa x y/n #hq x reader #oikawa tooru #hq angst #Both oikawa and reader have insecurities #Help each other and bond together #Oikawa learns to love and understand you despite not caring for you before #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa tooru x y/n #oikawa tooru x you #haikyuu!!#oikawa comfort #Oikawa x reader fluff #Oikawa x y/n fluff

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