#im also trying to prove to my parents that i can make a career out of this 😌😩😭

[hannah-shipper-banana]

I, personally, will NOT tolerate any Ally Dawson slander. That’s my bby girl.

How can you say Austin cared more about her than she did for him? Girlie was most definitely in love.

Just for that, here are some things Ally did for him…

Season 1

. She forgave him for stealing her song.

.She literally forgave him for humiliating her on live TV AND agreed to be his songwriter even though they were literally like 14 years old.

. She fricking WROTE most of his songs for him despite the fact that she had a JOB and school and a life! She also went through a lot writing said songs.

. Everyone (especially Austin) was being a massive dick to her for not having a song despite that fact that she had a life of her own and a store to run and whatnot. That got me so mad. Poor girl was literally getting pressured by everyone.

. She encouraged Austin to do good things so that Tilly couldn’t get any bad footage of him.

.She attempted to perform,despite the fact that she had stage fright, so that Tilly would stop posing embarrassing footage of him. Even when he told her she didn’t have to go through with it, she still tried. (He eventually did it for her but its the thought that counts)

.Ally gave him Dougie the dolphin.

. She defended him and told him to hide when everyone thought Austin was the Mall thief. Home girl fully stood up to a whole mob by herself.

. She helped him overcome his fear of umbrellas.

. She forgave him for ‘accidentally’ playing her song on the radio and went through with his plan of Trish pretending to be her.

. She helped him get with Cassidy by writing him a song. (Yh the first one was bad but that’s literally what he told her to write. Heartbeat was a banger tho)

. SHE FRICKING GAVE UP THE CHANCE TO GO TO AN ELITE MUSIC SCHOOL (WITH A FULL SCHOLARSHIP) SO THAT SHE COULD CONTINUE TO WRITE SONGS FOR HIM! AND HE WASN’T EVEN THAT BIG YET!

Season 2

. She performed with him (despite the fact that she had stage fright) by pretending to be Taylor Swift.

. She bungee jumped off a bridge with him (yh it was to cover up her lie but…) so that he could make a good impression with the magazine editor.

. Ally was fully ready to accept her punishment from her dad so that Trish and Dez could buy Austin more time so he can run home before his parents get home (yh he still got in trouble but that was only because the fan page alerted his parents, he would’ve gotten away with it) Yes I know Austin was selfless this whole episode but Im trying to prove a point here ok? Also can I just say it was so obvious they liked each other from this episode

.She helped him plan a date FOR ANOTHER GIRL despite the fact that she started having feelings for him. And she pulled out all the stops too because she knew he liked Kira

. She could’ve outed him then and there to Kira that they kissed but she literally just walked away.

. Ally wasn’t petty or mad when she thought he chose Kira over her. She was accepting.

. Ally still wrote a song about him even though she was a little mad at him. (He then serenades her and wins her back with said song)

.Ally still offered to write him a song (the only time she could was 4am) despite having her own career to focus on, and he declined. And at the last minute offered to give him one of hers but he though they were too girly.

. Home girl was ready to give up her song (the most personal one she’s ever written) to Kira, so that Kira could consider asking Jimmy to sign Austin again. (Kira is a literal sweetheart and let Ally sing it herself but…) Also Austin was fully ready to let Ally take his place at Starr Records but Ally wasn’t having that either.

. Ally gave him his own songbook to write his music in.

. Ally wanted him to enjoy his youth, so convinced him to stay on the basketball team despite what Jimmy said.

. She helped him makeover his idol Jackson Lowe and get him back into stardom

. She forgave him for meeting with another songwriter despite the fact that he was being a drama queen and she had more of a right to be mad at him.

. She was ready to give up making her debut album just so that she could go on tour with him but Trish had to convince her not to.

Season 3

. Ally fully came just to see them (mainly him) despite that she was working on her own music. Even if she saw him for 3 days she was ready to drop everything to see him.

. She decided to stay on tour with him because she missed him too much and didn’t want to miss his first tour. He begged her to stay and she did.

.She distracted the tour guide and the press on numerous occasions so that he can escape with the silver shoes and not get in trouble.

. Ally fully adopted an ALIAS and risked losing her record deal, just so she could continue to write songs for him. Even when she had second thoughts, Austin convinced her to go through with it and she did.

.She then stood up to her FUCKING BOSS and risked losing her record deal because she refused to stop writing songs for him. She was not going down without a fight.

. She helped him with his Physics project and even made the paper plane for him. (He didn’t end up using it but he would’ve gotten an A if he did)

. Ally was the one who helped Austin overcome his stage fright and basically the one who pulled him out of his funk.

.Ally was such a supportive wifey that episode. Firstly she tried to hide the magazines with the bad review on Austin so he wouldn’t be hurt. Then she always convinced him to look at it positively. Then she became Swag Master Ally to pull him out of his funk.

.Then she gave him the ultimate pep talk which convinced him to perform in front of the critic.

.And of course she was his safety net when he was performing so he wouldn’t get nervous. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

.She knew something was off about Dwayne and started to investigate which led her to seeing that he was obsessed with Austin. She then came up with the plan to distract the butler so they all could escape.

. Ally helps him convince Dwayne Wade he wrote the song so he could stop being obsessed with him.

.She convinced him to go to prom and enjoy himself with Piper even though she still had feelings for him and she knew Austin was hesitant to leave her alone.

. Ally (and Trish and Dez) helped him escape Brooke.

. She (with everyone else, but especially her) didn’t want her dad to sell Sonic Boom because its where they had the most memories (its also where she grew up) and hatched a plan to convince her dad not to go through with the sale. (This is more everyone’s doing but still)

. Ally broke up with him (she really didn’t want to) because she didn’t want Austin to lose his record deal. And we all know how that turned out.

Season 4

. Ally gave up going on her tour so that she could stay in Miami with him for senior year because she knew she was gonna miss him.

.She (with Trish and Dez) begged him not to go to military school.

. She was the one who came up with the Music Factory idea so Austin wouldn’t have to work at his parents’ store forever, and he could get to do what he loves.

. She pushed him to do better in his exam so he could graduate with them

.She still made the giant pancake for him even tho he lost the bet, because she loves him and wanted to give him something for believing in her (🥹)

. Ally stayed up all night baking the 6 tier wedding cake he wanted but she really didn’t need to because everything was already done. She felt guilty that she didn’t help out more and wanted to make it up to him. (She even got cake all over her trying to get it to school)

. This isnt a point really but can I just say Ally was the only one who figured out that Flermy was Austin right away. Home girl knows her man when she sees him.

.Ally forgave him (and Trish) for not believing that she could pull off the performance at the awards show.

. Ally convinces him not to get in his head too much about his first performance since the break. She kept telling him not to listen to the fortune teller so that he wont get anxious.

.She tried to get him to think positively no matter how many things were going wrong. She even tried to lie when something the the fortune teller came true, so that he wouldn’t think what the teller told him would be true too. (That was a mouthful). Girlie was stressed for him this entire episode.

.She was the main one convincing him not to believe the negative prediction from the fortune teller.

.She tries to help him get out of the glass box.

. Ally lets the Austin impersonator stay in the music factory as Austin is coaching him. (Despite him making mess and making noise)

. Ally forgives him for losing her library book and lying about it (it almost didn’t allow her to graduate but she fixed that)

. ALLY GIVES AUSTIN HER SONGBOOK AS A GOODBYE PRESENT. Everyone knows her songbook is her firstborn child (sorry Ava). The songbook was basically her personal diary and contained all their memories she would’ve written down.

. Not to mention that the songbook had pre written songs in it so his career could continue while she was at school.

. Ally admits that she continued to write songs about him even though they were broken up.

. They sing a song she wrote about him, and that’s the performance that gets them back together.

. She agrees to officially become a musical duo with him. (Im now realizing this is yet another parallel to the pilot)

Just because Austin was more open with his love (and more dramatic) it doesn’t mean that Ally loved him any less.

Anyone with eyes can see that they’re both just as in love (and obsessed) with the other.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

#auslly #austin and ally #ally dawson #austin moon #ross lynch #laura marano #austin and ally really was that show #raura

[greylunar]

Hey, can I ask you an device in something very personal? I recently had some sucess with my art and is on track to becoming a career which makes me incredibly happy. But, like, I was born in an upper middle class family. I graduated high school at 16 and got into college at 17. I changed majors so much that now, at 24, I'm no close to graduate that I was back then, I actually just gave up engineering(my like 6th major). I've been very depressed since I got into college, actually, because yes I wanted to make money but I also really really wanted to like what I do for living and the only thing I ever liked was art but I never had the courage to take that risk which is so stupid. But, my point is, I don't deserve to be able to live off my art, you know? Im lazy and a fuckup. There are so many more deserving people out there. Even doing this, coming here and whining about it, just proves how out of touch I am. And I know this. I know this and I think i should step aways from the arts, I think it's not right for me to occupy a place there. I know all that people will talk is how I only succeeded because I didn't had to work(more like couldn't get work) until 23 and because my parents supported me(which fuck they are abusive asholes but they did). Look, I don't know, I know that if I say this stuff my friends will say that I'm crazy on giving up a dream but I just want to hear the truth from an unbiased person. I'm 24, never worked until 23, live with my parents still, a college dropout who spent 7 years fucking around in college with an existential crisis. There's people who suffer through uni, I just gave up. There's people who work awful jobs, I just rely on my shitty parents. There's people who worked harder, deserve it more, right? Besides, I tend to be so delusional. I told my friend I was self-made, can you believe it? That because I wrote my book and it was sucessuful then I was self made. She did right and pointed out all my privileges, and she had a point. A very valid point. Now I'm asking around for strangers opinions I guess bc I don't know what to do

Long reply under the cut c:

Alright, upfront I’m going to be honest friend, I don’t know if I’m going to be the person who’s able to give you what you’re looking for here. Even if this small look into your life allowed me to make some sort of unbiased evaluation of your situation and merit, I don’t think I would. I don’t think I have any right to do that for anyone. So this isn’t going to be like some sort of point evaluation of wether or not you tally up enough personal worth to deserve to do what you’re passionate about for a living, because blanket statement, you do. You’re not evil, you’re not unworthy of happiness, you’re not a fuckup, you’re literally just some guy who’s had a couple privileges but is obviously still going through a lot. That’s like half the population. It doesn’t make you an asshole, it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be happy. It just means you’re a person. You’re just a person. And I think people deserve inherently to try and find what makes existing less shitty for them.

I’m going to be real bud I think it makes a lot of sense that you’re struggling with this. Like you graduated so early and it’s fucking insane trying to know what direction you want to go with your life when you’re 19 and 20 and in college, already it’s unreasonable to ask of someone and you started trying to do it when you were 17. No one could be ready for that. It doesn’t mean you were lazy or stupid it means you were 17 and scared and overwhelmed. You were just a kid. And of course throwing a kid in that environment would affect your depression, of course you’d be stuck in what felt like an endless existential crisis. There’s nothing wrong with dropping out. It’s not because you weren’t strong enough or determined enough or anything like that, it’s being honest with yourself and brave enough to acknowledge that college was not helping you, that in order to take care of yourself you had to admit that it wasn’t the right time for it. Relying on your abusive parents for money and housing? One, that’s a problem in its own right for you like it sucks to be financially dependent on your abuser. Two, fuck them, if you have the option yeah take their money. Three, having the privilege to not have to work is just that, a privilege. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person inherently. You being able to rely on your parents for financial help does not equate to “and so they don’t deserve to have an art career.” You’ve had a shitty couple of years. You don’t need to turn away a career that would make you happier as penance for stuff that was already shitty. I think you deserve this chance. I also think you deserve to give yourself a break. Self esteem sucks and I know it’s not as easy as just saying that, but maybe talking to a therapist would help if that’s an option for you. You’re beating yourself up for just trying to exist man. We’re all just trying to exist. I mean I changed my major a bunch, I dropped out (twice), I’m unemployed right now. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you don’t think it makes me a fuck up who’s unworthy of something good. The same goes for you, it’s just harder to see it when it’s yourself. I dunno if this will help at all, but even if it doesn’t I guess I hope things get better for you soon friend. In some ways I hope you let them get better for you. Take care of yourself, and try and be gentle with yourself, in the moments you can.

#tal asks #anons #tw abuse #tw negative self talk #tw depression #ask to tag anything else #damn man and you wrote a book like #that shits hard no matter who you are #be proud of that #nobody is self made we live in an ecosystem of connections to others #we’re made by their impacts and their choices and their lives #people we know and people we’ll never meet #but that isnt a bad thing #the beauty of being alive is that existing is a form of connection with others #being self made would be impossible #and if it was possible it would be lonely #it’s nothing to be ashamed of to want to acknowledge and have pride in your individual success #you endured a lot and persevered and that’s incredible #relish in that #but no one does anything alone #hehe like we really do live in a society #long post

[boxdyeblonde]

HEY

please take a look at this!!!

im trying to start a small business and would like to know how many people would be interested and which images people would be interested in!!

(also youll get a sneak peek at my Prequel Trilogy series!)

#im also trying to prove to my parents that i can make a career out of this 😌😩😭 #boost this please 🥺 #art #artist #star wars fanart #star wars art #small art account #small business #anakin skywalker #leia organa #luke skywalker #padme amidala #boba fett #jango fett #darth vader #obi wan kenobi #han solo #lando calrissian #star wars #original trilogy #prequel trilogy #star wars saga #stickers #star wars stickers #sticker business

[tobesolonely]

muse

A/n: hello everyone!! im very excited to put this out :-) i was going to make a long one shot but ive never written anything multi-part before and i wanted to give it a go!! also my first time with an oc 🌟so i hope everyone enjoys!! not sure when the next part will come out but i wanna upload at least once a week or every two weeks or something idk haha but anywayssss lmk ur thoughts!

biggest, biggest thank u to my love @harryysstyless​ for beta reading and being so encouraging<333 luv u!!

photographer oc x harry styles

please let me know your thoughts on miss aminah, iman, serena, and harry!

my ko-fi! thank you :)

Los Angeles was your newest muse.

You had always been the spontaneous type. It came as no shock to your family and friends when you told them you had purchased a one-way ticket and were moving across the country. Although your parents weren’t too keen on the idea of their daughter moving so far away from them, they helped you withdraw your savings and find a modest apartment in LA before sending you on your way.

Your reason for moving to LA was simple, really. You were a freelance photographer that felt your career was growing rather… stagnant. You had a thick portfolio and were proud of the work you produced, but your clientele wasn’t as impressive as you’d hope it would be after nearly six years of working at it.

And so began your desire to move from New York to Los Angeles— one big city to the next.

People who knew you often described you as ambitious, fiery, and an absolute go-getter. If your big move scared you in any way, no one knew any better. Your confidence never faltered— not even in the slightest.

After nearly three months of being in LA, you developed a routine of sorts. You’d wake up, eat a breakfast that almost always consisted of avocado toast and coffee, and go on a run. After your run, you would come home, shower, and decide how far you wanted to venture to take pictures that day.

Sometimes your roommates, Serena and Iman, would join you to keep you company. Although you’d never met either one of them before answering their ad for a roommate on Craigslist, you had grown extremely close to the girls in the few months that you’d known them. Despite the two girls being friends since their childhood, they never made you feel left out, and you fit in with them effortlessly.

During your short time in the city, there were so many places you had been, but still, even more you had yet to see. Serena and Iman, both native Angelenos, would often suggest spots for you to check out and even offer to drive you around— you were from New York after all, and at twenty-four years old, you were still not the owner of a driver's license.

“You’ve never been to North Hollywood yet, right Aminah?” Iman questioned as you all lounged around, trying to come up with a place you had not yet been.

“No, I haven’t really gone anywhere farther than walking distance,” you reply, looking around the cramped living room for your camera bag. “Or the places you guys have driven me. That was still considered Downtown though, right? Where we went the other day?” You were still getting used to how absolutely massive Los Angeles was.

“We should go to Santa Monica or something— wait, Malibu!” Serena exclaims. “We have to go to Malibu, Mina. It’s so nice there, you could totally get a bunch of good shots.”

“Yeah, we might even see a celebrity!” Iman chimes in, stifling laughter.

It was an on-going joke between the three of you. When you first moved to LA, you told your roommates that you couldn’t wait to make your way around the city because you were hoping to run into a celebrity. It was Los Angeles after all— you figured they were everywhere.

You quickly learned that wasn’t the case. Celebrities here kept a low-profile and even if you did encounter a celebrity, it’s not like you would approach them. “You’re not funny, Iman,” you tell your roommate with a roll of your eyes.

“Yes I am,” Iman quips, wiggling her eyebrows. “If we’re gonna go to Malibu then I gotta change. Can I borrow a cute shirt from anyone?”

A short twenty minutes later, the three of you were piled in Serena’s car on your way to Malibu. You’d heard of the city before and knew it was a wealthy area, but that’s about it. Your roommates promised you that out of all the beaches in LA, Malibu had the nicest ones, and lots of places to take pictures. Since none of you had anything to do, you all decided it was as good a day as any to have a beach day and get some shots of your roommates to add to your portfolio. Since you didn’t know anyone except Serena and Iman, the pictures on your camera from the last few months consisted entirely of nature and inanimate objects. While it was good practice, you really preferred to photograph actual people.

“Traffic is so bad today,” you say from the backseat after traveling approximately two feet in five minutes. Iman snorts from the passenger side.

“When isn’t traffic bad, Mina,” she turns to look at you, an amused look on her face. “Don’t worry about it. It always gets backed up at this fuckin’ exit and then as soon as we get past it there’s like, zero traffic.”

“Right! I always complain about how shitty this exit is. I have no clue who designed it,” Serena adds, skipping through songs on her playlist. “It’s still early in the day, though. I’m just hoping the beach won’t be too crowded by the time we get there.”

“I don’t care how crowded the beach is. I just don’t want it to take us forty minutes to find parking…”

You tune out your roommate's voices, instead choosing to focus on the traffic jam outside the car. To Serena and Iman, people who were born and raised in Los Angeles, the city wasn’t necessarily anything special. Sure, they loved how there was always something to do, but the bad drivers, traffic, and smog got old. The novelty of LA hadn’t yet worn off to you, though. You didn’t know how your roommates were content to sit inside the apartment all day when there were tons of things to do basically right outside your doorstep. You felt like you were the one convincing them to go out with you half of the time, and you didn’t even know where you were going.

After what feels like almost entirely too long but was really only half an hour, Serena pulls into a fairly empty parking lot. “Are we not allowed to be here?”

“Why do you think that?” Iman asks, squinting her eyes to read a sign. “It doesn’t say it’s closed. I mean, there are a few cars–– look.” She points to a few cars scattered around the parking lot.

“I mean, it is nine in the morning on a Wednesday. People are probably at work,” you tell the two girls in the front seat. “Besides, there’s someone in the parking booth. Can you even close a beach?”

Serena drives forward, rolling down her window. “I mean, I guess not. You can close the parking lot, though.” You hum in agreement. She quickly pays for parking and tosses her receipt on the dashboard before driving slowly through the parking lot.

“I love when no one’s at the beach,” Iman sighs, clapping her hands. “No one will get in the way of your picture-taking either, Meens.”

You smile at the nickname. “Yeah, that’s true. We picked a perfect time to come too, guys. The lighting’s great.”

“Really? Is it gonna make my skin pop?” Iman turns around and sticks her arm out, sensually running her fingers along it.

“You always look good no matter what the lighting’s like, Iman,” you reply, refraining from rolling your eyes at her. “You have the glowiest complexion out of all of us.”

“We’re literally all the same skin-tone, Aminah,” she retorts, crossing her arms.

“We have different undertones, though,” you answer. “So not really. Plus, Serena is way lighter than us! What are you talking about?”

“Should I park here?” Serena asks, interrupting your conversation.

“Why here? All these empty spots and you wanna park directly next to this car?”

“This is a good spot, Iman. It’s a parking lot. If they didn’t want anyone to park next to them, they should’ve taken an Uber and got dropped off.” She turns into the spot, quickly putting the car in park and crossing her arms to prove her point.

You unbuckle your seatbelt, smiling at your friends’ bickering. They were so close they were basically sisters. They argued sometimes and were quick to call the other out on their shit, and you loved it.

“I just think you’re weird for parking next to this car. It’s a nice car.”

“Who cares, girl?” Serena groans, exasperated. “We’re gonna be on the beach. They’ll probably be gone before we will.” She pops the trunk before unplugging her phone from the aux cord and stepping outside. Iman mimics her before flinging the door open as well and stepping out of the car.

You make sure your camera bag is closed all the way before situating it over your shoulder and climbing out of the car as well.

“It’s kinda cold,” Iman says, wrapping her arms around her body. “If I knew it would be so overcast I would’ve bought a jacket.” Serena hums in agreement and you look up at the sky, unphased.

“It’s like, seventy degrees?” you look at the weather app on your phone in confirmation.

“We get it, Meens. You’re from New York,” Serena teases, closing her trunk. She hands you a few towels and a blanket to carry while she rolls the cooler and Iman carries the beach chairs and umbrella.

“It’s a cold seventy degrees and you know it,” Iman defends. “Look at my goosebumps. I can’t fake this shit.” You shake your head at your overly dramatic friends and follow them down to the beach. You take off your sandals as soon as you’re off the pavement, wiggling your toes in the cold sand.

“We can set up pretty much wherever we want,” Serena points out, tucking flyaway curls behind her ears. “Where do you think the best place to be is, Mina? Y’know, so you can get good pictures?”

“It doesn’t really matter, to be honest,” you tell them distractedly, too busy looking around the beach in awe. Your friends were right–– out of all the beaches you’d visited in Los Angeles so far, this one was the nicest (and cleanest). “Maybe we can get a little closer to the water?”

The three of you walk for a couple of minutes before Iman abruptly stops, dramatically dropping everything she was carrying. “Let’s just set up here. There’s no one around anyway, it doesn’t matter.”

“There actually is someone around,” you tell them, looking at a stranger who seemed to be fixated on staring at you and your friends. “Don’t look, but a cute guy is staring at us.” Serena and Iman immediately turn around, shading their eyes from the bit of sun that was starting to peek through the clouds. The guy couldn’t have been more than twenty yards away from where you were setting up.

...“Huh,” Serena says, turning back around. “Is it just me, or does that guy look a lot like Harry Styles?” She looks back over her shoulder again, but he’s no longer staring at the three of you, focusing on what appeared to be a book instead.

“Why would Harry Styles be at the beach by himself at nine in the morning?” Iman asks, unfolding a beach chair and flopping down on it.

“Why wouldn’t he? It’s Malibu, dude,” Serena responds. You could tell your friends were about to start bickering again, so you quickly jump in.

“Doesn’t matter. Neither one of you would go up to him even if it was, so what’s the point in arguing about it?” They both raise their eyebrows at you.

“And you would, Mina? Bullshit!” Iman exclaims, laughing. “I dare you to go see if it’s him, and if it is, ask him if he wants to join us.”

“That’s weird! What if it’s not him?”

“Even if it’s not him, we’ll still get to hang out with a cute boy.” Iman points out. Serena nods in agreement and you can’t deny that she makes a convincing argument. “Just ask him if he wants a mimosa or something!”

“No, don’t ask that,” Serena interjects. “Tell him that you’re a photographer and you’re working on building a new portfolio. Ask him if he would be cool with you photographing him.”

You narrow your eyes at her. “Are you sure that’s not weird, Serena?”

“Aminah, trust me. I wouldn’t deliberately let you make yourself look weird.” Your roommate reassures you.

And so you found yourself clearing the short distance to where the handsome stranger was laid, half hoping it was Harry Styles, half hoping it was not. You couldn’t act like you weren’t a fan of him–– you thought he was incredibly attractive and enjoyed his music just like most people. If Harry Styles was the first celebrity you encountered during your short time in Los Angeles, you‘d never stop talking about it. Ever.

When you’re almost to him he looks up, dog-earring the page he’s on. After making eye contact with him, there’s no mistaking that this is Harry Styles. You pinch the back of your hand, urging yourself not to freak out. He has a knowing look on his face and you’re grateful for your darker complexion that hides your blush.

“Hi,” you speak first, stopping a few feet away from him. “Uh, my friends and I are just uh, we’re... you know.” You internally wince at your inability to form a coherent sentence. His gaze never breaks from yours and you look away first, growing shyer by the second. If you thought he was beautiful on Instagram, he was even more gorgeous in person. It was incredible.

“Hi,” he finally says after a brief moment of silence. “‘M sorry if I was starin’ at you ladies a moment ago. I jus’ usually never see anyone else this early out here. Are you a photographer?”

You almost ask him how he knows when you realize your camera is still hanging around your neck. “Oh, yeah. Yeah, I am.” He’s still staring intently at you.

“Would you like to sit?”

You look over your shoulder at Serena and Iman who were pretending to be preoccupied putting on sunscreen, but you know they were waiting for you to come back with the man you now knew to be Harry Styles.

“Oh, my friends are waiting for me,” Harry looks up at you patiently, waiting for you to continue speaking. “I was actually going to photograph them. I’m working on building up my portfolio. I understand if you can’t for… I dunno, legal reasons? Or if you just don’t want to–– and that’s fine if you don’t, but would it be okay if I photographed you as well?”

“That actually sounds like a lot of fun. It’s kinda boring jus’ readin’ out here on my own,” he agrees quickly, surprising you. Harry stands up and stretches a bit before leaning down to gather up his blanket, towel, water bottle, and book. “What’s your name? I’m Harry.”

You know that Harry knows that you know exactly who he is, but the fact that he introduced himself to you makes him even more endearing. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Aminah.”

Harry extends his free hand to you. “It’s very nice to meet you, Aminah.” You love the way your name sounds coming out of his mouth.

As you approach Serena and Iman, their eyes go wide when they realize it really was him. Serena nudges Iman and you know without even having heard it that she’s saying, “I told you so!” Harry stops a bit behind you, smiling at them.

“Hello,” he starts. “S’okay if I join you ladies? Aminah here extended such a nice offer that I jus’ couldn’t pass it up, but wanna check with the two of you first.”

Serena’s mouth is shamelessly hanging open, and you realize that she may have been a bigger fan than she let on. Iman answers for them. “Of course! Mina’s building her portfolio and I bet it would look like, super cool, if you were a part of it!” Harry nods, setting the few things he had with him down.

“I don’t think I would even be the center of attention if ‘m sittin’ beside you beautiful ladies. I’ll jus’ act as a prop or something,” he flashes them a dimpled smile. “If you don’t mind me asking, what are your names? I’m Harry.”

“We know,” Iman answers a little too quickly. “I’m Iman and this is Serena.” Serena gives him a timid wave.

“Well, it’s very nice to meet you all. Are you guys from around here?” He lays his blanket beside all of your stuff and sits down cross-legged, not once breaking eye contact with any of you. You had no idea how he did it.

“We live Downtown. We’re only over here so Mina could get some good pictures, she’s a photographer,” Iman answers proudly. “She’s amazing, but she’ll never admit it.”

“Iman…,” you trail off. “Stop, dude.”

“It’s true,” Serena jumps into the conversation, now seemingly over the initial shock of who was sitting barely two feet away from her. “She’s the best photographer I know.” Harry turns to look at you, an amused look on his face.

“That’s a hefty claim. I can’t wait to see your photography skills, Aminah.”

“They’re just hyping me up,” you reply, making a mental note to yell at your friends for embarrassing you once the three of you were alone again. “I’m not that good.”

“That looks pretty professional to me,” Harry says, gesturing to the camera that has not yet left your neck since arriving at the beach. “I bet you’re just as good as they say you are.” You look away, hiding your face. Iman, being the wing woman she is, can tell you’re growing flustered from all the attention and moves the conversation away from you.

“Do any of y’all want a mimosa?” Before anyone can even answer her, she’s popping open the champagne and handing the orange juice to Serena to open. Harry politely declines, as he drove himself to the beach that morning. You and Iman are ultimately the only ones who indulge in a drink since you were the only ones not driving.

Talking to Harry was like catching up with an old friend. He wanted to know everything about the three of you and whenever he felt the conversation was becoming too much about him, he quickly changed the subject. Harry learned that Iman and Serena have been friends since the second grade when Iman pushed some boy off of the monkey bars for teasing Serena. He learned your favorite take-out spots, your favorite bars, and what freeways Iman and Serena tried to avoid at all cost (it was the 405, which he agreed with). What seemed to intrigue Harry the most, though, was him learning that you just moved from New York and had never even been to Los Angeles before moving.

“Why did you pick somewhere all the way across the country that you’d never even vacationed at before?” He had a look of confusion written across his face. You shrug, not really knowing the answer.

“I mean, I’ve seen it on TV shows and in movies. That doesn’t count?” you joke. Harry still looks utterly bewildered.

“I mean… no?”

Serena laughs. “We were just as confused as you were, Harry. We were scared for a moment when she moved in because we were like, oh shit, what if she’s insane? You know? Like, what sane person would move all the way across the country to live somewhere they’d never even vacationed before?”

You let out an offended, “heyyyy”, lightly smacking Serena’s thigh. “I just needed a change and I’m a drastic person! I either go all-in when I do something, or I just don’t do it at all.” You defend yourself.

“I actually think that’s really fuckin’ cool,” Harry says after a moment. “Sometimes I wish I could just… up an’ go. Y’know?” you all nod, and it falls silent again. “Well, should we take some pictures now?”

Any intimidation you felt to photograph Harry disappeared as soon as he started posing for you.

Being that he was a major celebrity, he was no stranger to posing for a photoshoot. Harry was ethereal–– you knew the pictures of him would most likely require minimal to no editing. Serena and Iman also looked incredible, and you were thankful to have such gorgeous people as your muses. You were taking pictures of them in various places around the beach, only stopping once it started getting too crowded. There were starting to be too many people in the background of your shots and Harry wanted to get going, not particularly in the mood to be recognized. The three of you decide you should get going too. You had more than enough pictures to go through and besides, you were all starting to grow hungry.

Harry follows the three of you to the parking lot, keeping his head down the entire way. The closer you got to Serena’s car, the sadder you got. You didn’t want to stop talking to Harry and photographing him. However, you knew you were just in the right place at the right time, and it was likely that you’d never cross paths with him any time soon–– if ever again.

“Thank you for letting me photograph you,” you tell him sincerely once you were almost to Serena’s car. “That was really kind of you. I can promise you I won’t post them anywhere without your permission or like, disclose the location or anything like that.”

Harry finally looks up, determining you were far enough away from the crowds and he was no longer at risk of getting recognized. “It was my pleasure, really. Thank you for inviting me to hang out with you and your friends. It was a lot of fun getting to know you all.” You feel your body heat up.

“Where did you park?”

“Right there,” Harry points straight ahead. “You?”

You let out a loud laugh, causing Serena and Iman, who was walking slightly ahead of you and Harry, to turn around and look at the two of you. “We parked right next to you! Iman was getting on Serena for parking next to you because the lot was pretty much empty when we got here this morning.”

Harry lets out a breathy chuckle. “I guess it’s fate that we crossed paths then, yeah?” You let out a quiet hum in agreement, stopping a few feet in front of Serena’s car. You hear her and Iman debating on where you should stop for lunch, but you were waiting to see what Harry would say next.

“Aminah? After you get a chance to look at those pictures, do you think you can send them to my manager? His name’s Jeff. I’d love to see how they come out.”

“Oh yeah, of course! Do you have his business card or something?” You were excited that Harry actually cared to see your work but based on the couple of hours you spent interacting with him, you learned he was just an overall insanely kind person.

“I can jus’ put his contact info in your phone? If you don’t mind,” his gaze falters, a sheepish look on his face.

“Totally! Let me just unlock my phone,” you dig in the pocket of your shorts, pulling your phone out and unlocking it with your face. You hand it over to him and while he’s looking down typing you glance over at your roommates who had shocked looks on their faces. You would explain to them later that he wasn’t giving you his number, just his managers, but for now, you’d let them think he was giving his number to you out of all people–– a total stranger.

Harry hands it back to you a few moments later, running his fingers through his hair. “Thank you again for such a great morning, Aminah. I’ll let you get goin’, don’t wanna hold you ladies up any longer,” he waves at Serena and Iman. “It was really nice to meet all of you. Hope to see you all again soon.” You notice that his gaze lingers on you for a moment when he says that, and you feel your body heat up for what must have been at least the tenth time that day.

The three of you watch as Harry unlocks his car and throws his items haphazardly into the passenger side before climbing in, slamming the door shut. His car starts immediately afterwards and he gives you a quick nod before quickly backing out of the spot, leaving. None of you say anything for a bit, just processing what just happened. Serena is the first one to speak, her hand on the handle of her car door.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Harry fucking Styles?” her voice raises at least two octaves and you know she’s about to have a mini freakout. “Did he ask for your number, Meens?”

“No dude, he just gave me his manager's number. He wants to see how the pictures come out after I edit them,” you tell her, opening the backseat of her car. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Uh, that’s definitely a big deal, Aminah. Stop being so humble,” Iman tells you, exaggerated annoyance lacing her voice. “Did you see how he looked at you? When he said, ‘Hope to see you all again soon’?” She puts on a terrible posh accent.

“You’re so annoying,” you groan, shaking out the blanket and beach towels before throwing them onto the seat. “Where are we gonna eat?”

Iman and Serena pile into the car as well, telling you about the three restaurants they were stuck choosing between. You hum distractedly, typing the name ‘Jeff’ into your contacts to see if Harry left a number and an email, or just an email. Your brows furrowed in confusion when you see the name is nowhere to be found in your contact list. You chalk up the mistake to Harry just forgetting to press ‘save’ after creating the contact and figure you can just find his manager’s contact information on the internet somewhere. As you’re scrolling back up through your contact list, your eye lands on a name that makes your breath hitch in your throat.

Harry Styles.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles blurb #harry styles fluff #harry styles x oc #harry styles one shot #uhhh idk what else to tag this #enjoy!!

[wistfulwatcher]

Hello I saw your tag on that "im 25 and dying post" please tell us how it got better for you. Im 26, still living with parents, currently having a fight with my boyfriend, and i still have a year until I get my bachelors. The comparison to everyone younger than me is killing me.

I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling, but I hope you can take some solace in the fact that that post has a lot of notes and you are absolutely not alone in feeling the way you do! I can certainly try and share my experience, but unfortunately I think the biggest factor is just time (and like, a buttload of self-reflection).

I moved back home after college and worked full time at an administrative job I was doing during school breaks. I majored in psychology and anthropology in college, and was planning to eventually go into forensic psychology, but wasn't interested in going straight into grad school. So I did that administrative job for about a year, and tried to find something that was a bit more stable and at least semi-related to my field. I did end up finding a new job when I was 23 - stable, semi-related to my field (a psych/research background was required), and decent pay (especially as I was still living at home). Exactly what I needed, since I still wasn't ready to start looking into grad school.

I was doing pretty well, until I started getting comfortable at that job, and then I started getting hit with the "I'm not doing enough," and "I need to look into grad school," and "will I ever find a boyfriend?" (friendly reminder that 23-year-old me thought she was straight, yikes), "how will I afford to move out, I have to save my money and do it soon!", "I'm not doing anything but watching TV, I'm wasting my life," "I'm lonely, but I'm too tired to try and make friends," etc., etc.

But it wasn't constant. I'd have a flurry of those questions and fears, and then days where I was just living life and doing my job and taking care of my dogs, without any of that. And I don't think I felt good or particularly comfortable those days, it was more like I just wasn't actively thinking about it, like when you feel "good" after a physical pain goes away and you're just normal.

Eventually, I started thinking about all of these concerns I had, and the fact that it felt like it was URGENT whenever I thought about them. It felt like I needed to get my shit together immediately. I also started to acknowledge that there was this big sense of guilt around those concerns; I was too old to be living at home, I was too old to be single, I was too old not to be starting a career. I felt like I was wasting my life (cue the guilt), and I realized that part of why I felt like I was wasting it was that I felt like I was missing milestones I wouldn't be able to do at a later time because the older I was past "normal" the more humiliating it would be to try (cue the shame and embarrassment, hard).

I also started to doubt that I wanted to go into forensic psychology. More importantly, I started to seriously doubt that I wanted a "career" at all. My job (as I kept that same semi-related to my field one) was absolutely a job, not a career. And I think this was a huge tipping point for me, because a career had always been a given in my life. I'm passionate about what I'm interested in, so it literally just never occurred to me that I would be content with a job. I also started acknowledging that I had some messed up associations about being content with a job meaning that I was lazy (because the only way to be ambitious is with a career and, more damaging, a lack of ambition is fundamentally bad).

Now, I need to clarify that all of the above occurred over the course of years. I was constantly seeing "friends" (i.e., of the facebook variety) go to grad school, start careers, get married, buy homes, etc. And with all of that alongside the entire mess I've outlined in the above paragraphs, it was really, really, tough. It gets hard to find a foothold in better thinking, I believe, when seeing all of these people (some younger) doing things "right" was really just compounding my guilt and shame. (I feel like it's worth mentioning, too, that I was always "an individual" growing up, march-to-the-beat-of-my-own-drummer, yada yada. I feel like that's worth pointing out for others who may be in the same boat, because I think it can lead to another layer of shame in comparing yourself to those around you - especially if it's a big part of your identity that you DON'T do that, because I think it's inevitable as you get older, and you're looking to reach these milestones that prove you're an adult.)

So, here I am, acknowledging that I feel guilt and shame about what I'm not doing. And suddenly I ask myself my first really important question: Do I want a career? The question hot on its heels is: Do I want to go to grad school? Honestly, my answer is no. There is nothing in me that's excited by the prospect. But what, does that mean I'm just going to work my job for the rest of my life? How is giving up going to make me feel better about Not Doing Enough?

As I'm opening this door (remember, years), three things happen: 1) I realize I'm gay, 2) I watch Dirty 30, 3) I start playing D&D.

First, realizing I'm gay. Woohoo! Not only was this exciting because girls are amazing, but it made me seriously look at myself. Realizing I had spent 25 years assuming one thing about myself that turned out to be completely wrong made me question everything for a while. I started to ask myself, "Do I really like this?" more often, which seems like a really obvious question, but I'm not convinced that it's one people ask themselves consciously all that often. But once I did, I realized how freeing it was to answer, "No," and move on to something I did like.

Second, I watched Dirty 30, the Grace Helbig/Mamrie Hart/Hannah Hart movie. It feels dramatic to say that it changed my life, but the older I get the more I honestly think it did. Mamrie Hart's character is a dental hygienist who is freaking out about turning 30 and feeling very much like that text post I reblogged. But (spoilers), at the end of the movie, she decides that she loves her job (job, not career!) because it's comfortable and she has fun at work, and that it makes her happy. She has other things going on, but the idea that a character in a film is content with her job and choosing to "settle" into her life as-is and she's genuinely happy about it? I honestly can't think of a single other time I've seen that happen on-screen. I still think about that ending very often. And after seeing it, I started to ask myself another question regularly: "Am I happy?" Again, this feels pretty obvious, but I think there is something incredibly empowering about making sure you are happy on a regular basis, instead of just assuming that you're fine until something hurts.

Third, I started playing D&D. This is not a plug for D&D! (Well, maybe a little.) One thing that happened to me when I started to get into the urgent-guilt-shame-confusion mess of my mid-20s was that I got very much into a routine of go to work, come home, sleep, go to work, come home, sleep, be totally brain-dead on the weekend, repeat. I found it very difficult to feel creative because I was just wiped, and as all of my creative outlets (gifs, fanfic) are self-motivated, it was really easy to brush them off. I ended up starting Critical Role (this is also not a plug for CR! well, maybe), and I wanted to give D&D a try myself. (I was VERY lucky - my best friend happened to be listening to the Adventure Zone at the same time I started CR, and she wanted to try to run a game. The stars truly aligned!)

I started playing, then DMing, and found that it was a great fit for my interests. I used to be a theatre kid, and I was getting to act again (something I didn't realize I was missing). I was getting to build and flesh out characters, which is what I love the most about writing fanfic. I was also discovering that I was stretching myself - world building and plot had never been my strong suit, but as a DM it became the majority of my creative effort. It gave me soft deadlines with people I didn't want to let down, and it made me truly social again for the first time since college. Essentially, it was filling in all of the gaps of what I felt lacking in my life. This isn't a D&D plug because it wasn't D&D specifically, but rather a hobby that satisfied what was missing in my life. For example, I didn't realize how isolated I was before D&D until I had regular interactions with friends, and that isolation absolutely made the urgent-guilt-shame-confusion worse.

D&D gave me that final push to realize that I was OK with having a job and being passionate about hobbies instead of trying to fit myself into a career, because I was getting out of that hobby what I had been convinced I would get out of a career. I started to really value that I could punch out and go have fun doing exactly what I wanted to do. (It feels so obvious as I type this, but it took me a long time to get here! Sometimes it really is that simple!)

The above is specific to my job vs. career struggle which may not be in the mix of things you're struggling with. But what I do think is universal/can be your take away, is that sometimes you just have to actively choose to let go of the pressure to be doing things. Which, I know, sounds so much easier than it is (and part of why I think it just takes time/is part of growing older). But I think it's something that can be worked at over time, by checking in with yourself about what you feel, why you feel it, and what you need to make yourself feel better in the present.

It's been 6 years since I started that semi-related job, and I'm still there. I still live with my mom. I'm still single. My circumstances have not changed since 24, but honestly? I'm OK. When I check in with myself about it, I do enjoy living with my mom and our dogs (even though I'm 30 and "real" adults move out). I am happy more often than I'm not (much more, actually!). I have a job that allows me to be done after 8 hours, and I have hobbies I look forward to doing each night (and the energy to do them, most of the time). My weekends are free to play D&D with my friends and laugh until I cry. That is what I've worked out as my definition of what I want life to be right now. You'll notice it includes none of the "milestones" that those younger than me have hit.

As I noted on that text post tag, I still struggle with this. I definitely have days where I think, I'm a mess, I'm not DOING anything. It's hard. But time does help, those days become fewer and farther between.

I know that was probably a hundred times longer than you wanted it to be, but I did want to illustrate just how much of a process it is. It takes time. My summary advice is to check in with yourself often, be honest about what you want and what you need, do not let anyone else define where you "should" be. And if you aren't living life how you want to be, identify what you can do (however small) to make yourself feel like you're getting closer.

#ask #me #personal #i am so sorry this is a novel #i hope that it helps you even a little! #can you believe i can write about myself for 2 hours? embarrassing lmao #long post

[malfoymanortings]

bad child

SUMMARY: Gwendolyn Weasley was the only one of her family to be sorted into Slytherin, and she becomes the black sheep of the family. her morals get twisted as she fights for her place in Slytherin house, but will she lose them completely?

PAIRINGS: none, eventual Draco X OC if continued.

hello! really im not sure if this is worth continuing, but it’s been floating around my mind for awhile so I decided to start writing it out. possibly will become a mini series if anyone wants it? enjoy!

Ginerva and Gwendolyn Weasley were the second set of twins to be born to the Weasley family. Their parents had been ecstatic to finally receive the girls they had so desperately wanted (more so Molly than Arthur), that it temporarily overshadowed the sheer panic of them having been twins. Twin girls.

Their first set of twins, Fred and George, had been more than several handfuls to deal with. If they weren’t lighting something on fire, they were terrorizing their easiest target, their youngest brother Ron.

The girls had proved to be just as difficult in their own way.

From a very early age Gwendolyn was able to convince Ginerva to do just about anything she said. Stealing from muggle shops, their siblings, neighbors; setting out more vindictive traps for the muggles around their neighborhood. The girls were close, but there was always the understanding between them that Gwendolyn was the leader out of the two. In addition to that, she was also the more manipulative and cunning of the two.

That’s not to say that Ginerva wasn’t strong in herself. She just loved her twin dearly, and was willing to put her own morals aside for the sake of keeping the peace with her twin. Gwendolyn had always felt that as the only girls, and the second set of twins, they needed to work hard to stand out and not let opportunities for power pass them by. Even if that power was only enjoying stolen bubble gum while their siblings had none.

Regardless of her questionable morals, Gwendolyn fiercely loved her family and had a conscience, contrary to what her older brother Percy seemed to think. She just cared more about what would be best for her and in turn, her twin, than how her actions would affect others. Gwendolyn would go to the ends of the earth to ensure Ginerva was okay.

By the time the girls had turned nine, their parents had come to realize that although Ginerva was normally at the forefront of the trouble they got into, Gwendolyn was the orchestrator of the scheme. No matter how many times Molly berated the girls for their wrongdoings, they didn’t stop. She spoke with Ginerva and told her she did not always have to go along with her sisters plans, and she spoke with Gwendolyn, telling her just because Ginerva was willing to do things for her didn’t mean she should.

Ginerva had tearfully said she would do better. Gwendolyn had laughed.

When the girls had finally headed off to Hogwarts, their mother had fretted and worried and bitten her nails as she sent them off, giving their older brothers firm instruction to watch over them. Percy had taken the suggestion to heart and swore he would, the twins had saluted their mother and laughed as they nodded, Ron had just shrugged noncommittally. Molly even requested that Harry and Hermione do their best to watch out for them, and the second years promised they would.

Ginerva was sorted first. The hat sat on her head for a few moments before loudly proclaiming “GRYFFINDOR!”. The redhead made her way over to the rest of her redheaded family, who hooted and hollered and made a ruckus as she blushed.

Gwendolyn was next. The hat sat on her head for a few beats longer than her twin, before proclaiming “SLYTHERIN!” just as loudly as it had for Ginvera. The redhead’s eyes widened for a moment, before she quickly fixed her expression into an indifferent mask and walked stiffly towards the green and silver table. Her family at the Gryffindor table had hesitated before clapping; Percy with an expression of horror, the twins with a disappointed grimace, Ron with a mix of concern and fear, and Ginerva with a look of crushed devastation. 

Gwendolyn didn’t spare a second glance towards her family as she set down tentatively at the Slytherin table, hearing murmured whispers coming from an already established friend group a few seats down from her. She had felt out of place without her twin next to her.

“I’m Astoria,” the brunette next to her greeted, holding out a hand for her to shake.

“Gwendolyn,” she replied, giving the other girl a firm shake. “You can call me Gwen.”

The brunette nodded and smiled, before turning her attention back to the sorting.

“Weasley, hm?” a voice drawled to her left, and she turned to see a boy with slicked back silver hair giving her a haughty once over. “I’ll have to let father know they let one of you in Slytherin. Surely the hat has made a mistake. A muggle loving blood traitor would never be allowed in Slytherin.”

Gwendolyn paused for a moment, her thoughts racing. She knew enough about Draco Malfoy to know his approval would make or break her acceptance into Slytherin house. She needed to earn his approval. She had to show him he wasn’t just another Weasley. She had to break free.

Her eyes narrowed. “The hat doesn’t make mistakes, Malfoy. But perhaps you do. I’m not like my family. I absolutely hate muggles. They disgust me.”

She said the words with force, her lip slightly curled up in a snarl. A rush went through her at the admission. Her family would never allow her to talk like that. Although she didn’t thoroughly hate muggles, she certainly didn’t like them. It was thrilling to finally say it out loud.

Draco looked taken aback. He lifted an eyebrow, eyeing her appraisingly. “Well, Weasley, maybe your family isn’t a complete blood traitor waste after all.”

“My name is Gwendolyn.”

“I don’t recall caring.”

The two glowered at each other for a moment, before Dumbledore gathered everyone's attention for his speech. The night went on rather quickly from that moment, and before long they had headed up to their dorms. Gwendolyn spent her first night in Slytherin tower staring at the ceiling and contemplating her future. Tears would be useless. She had to be strong to get through her Hogwarts career. Her sister would not be at her side. That night, she resolved to be strong, sly, and cunning. It was her best bet at getting through the year unscathed.

Gwendolyn proved during her years at Hogwarts that she was nothing like her family. It gained her the approval of Malfoy, which shot her up the social ladder of Slytherin house. Astoria Greengrass had become her closest friend, and the two girls were accepted into Malfoy’s prominent social circle by the end of their first year. Her growth and flourishing in Slytherin house had driven a large wedge between herself and her family. Her voiced distaste of muggles and her turned nose at muggleborns did not go unnoticed by her family.

 In return for being accepted into Slytherin, she had lost her family relationships.

Summers were always the hardest. She no longer had Ginerva as a friend. The girls had grown cold and distant with each other as a result of Ginerva becoming more confident in herself without her sister constantly in her ear. Percy, before he too had abandoned their family for the ministry, had acted as though she didn’t exist. The twins were more and less the same, although they weren’t as sociable towards her as they were towards the others. Ron absolutely despised her for not only being Slytherin, but also being good friends with Malfoy. Charlie and Bill simply weren’t around.

Her mother was, to put it honestly, disappointed in how she had shunned everything she had been taught morally growing up. Her father resented the way she spoke of muggles, and endlessly attempted to change her mind. They didn’t understand that when she was sorted into Slytherin house as the only Weasley, she did what she needed to do to not only thrive, but survive. 

A small part of her that grown bigger over the years couldn’t help but start to believe in what the Slytherin’s thought. Especially with the way her family shunned her and couldn’t understand that she had done what she needed to do as a scared, lonely eleven year old.

Things had gotten worse since Voldemort's return. At the end of her fourth year, Ron and Ginny had accompanied Harry to the Department of Mysteries where they had fought against Death Eaters and Voldemort himself had shown up. Apparently in protest of Umbridge, they had been involved in Dumbledore’s Army, something they had not invited her to be part of. The rest of her family that still attended Hogwarts had been in the club, aside from her. 

She was used to not being included by now, of course. 

Her parents were a part of the Order of the Phoenix, an organization founded to fight Voldemort and his followers. Her siblings were much more informed on what went on during the meetings than she was. It wasn’t from her lack of trying, of course. When they had spent the summer at Grimmauld Place, she had attempted to listen in on the Extendable Ears with the others. But they always managed to shift away slightly or crowd around the ears so there was no way for her to hear. They simply didn’t trust her.

She had heard the Golden Trio speaking on more than one occasion about how she shouldn’t even have been allowed there with them. None of her siblings ever stuck up for her. It stung, but she supposed it was only reasonable. After all, she was a Slytherin. As Ron had always voiced, normally paired with a biting glare towards her, there wasn’t a witch or wizard that was in Slytherin that hadn’t gone bad. Apparently he had adopted the phrase from Hagrid.

So she sat outside most of the summer, alone, lying under the large Sycamore tree a yard away from the house. She had been offered more than once to visit her housemates' places during the summer, but her parents had forbidden it. With the war gaining momentum, it was too much of a risk. The unspoken message was clear. They didn’t trust that she would keep quiet about any 

“Hey, Gwen.”

Gwendolyn turned with a start, her thick red hair tumbling over her shoulder. Harry Potter stood a few feet away from her, looking awkward as he waited for her reply. She examined him for a moment. He was taller now, more filled out and sturdy, she supposed from an aesthetic standpoint she could understand why her sister liked him so much. 

“Can I help you?” the words were sharp, her brow raised as she awaited an answer. 

He rarely talked to her. None of them did really, except for when their mother forced them all too cheerily to interact ast family dinners and the more sparse family outings. But Harry had always treated her as though she were a bomb, one step too close and she might take him out. 

“Well, erm,” Harry seemed to blanch at her boldness. He seemed to have been expecting her to be more like Ginny. “I was wondering… I know you’re friends with Malfoy,” the name fell from his lips in a twisted spit. “Have you heard much from him this summer? I saw him in Knockturn alley while we were shopping for school supplies, and he seemed off. I just was wondering if he had said anything to you that made you worried.”

Gwendolyn stared at him for a moment, listening to him ramble on. He was awful at being subtle. He wanted to know if she knew any of Draco’s secrets, and he thought if he asked her nicely she would willingly give them up. She had to scoff at that. Typical Gryffindor.

“You’re concerned for his well being?” she stood, her voice falsely sweet. “That’s so kind of you, Potter. But from what I recall, you and Draco don’t care much for each other,” she tapped a finger to her chin, pretending to ponder the thought for a moment. “Oh! You were just hoping I would gossip with you. Perhaps next time, try Veritaserum. Or have your little brainiac give you a more subtle approach.”

Harry stuttered for a moment, seeming at a loss for words. He glanced backwards, and she followed his gaze to see Ron and Hermione standing at the front door of the Burrow, watching them. Her eyes narrowed, her jaw clenching.

“Get lost, Potter,” she snarled, anger flashing through her like a hot branding iron. “Or I’ll give them something to watch.”

“Right, erm, sorry.” Harry managed to say, turning and walking swiftly to the house. He didn’t spare her a backwards glance, and the trio slipped into the Burrow the moment Harry came back.

Gwen tamped down on her anger, wishing desperately she were at Hogwarts already. Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.

#ginny weasley #draco malfoy #draco x oc #weasley #harry potter #harry potter series #harry potter x reader #weasley twins #fred weasley #george #george weasley #ron weasley #ronald weasley #hermione granger #death eater #death eater draco

[wsharu]

an introduction of the typist

hyello, i am flora -- junho/haru’s typist, i am 25+ from the eu ( she/her) ! i am beyond excited to join wishingstars with this boy. i hope i eventually can get around to plotting with everyone, i have a full-time job so i aplogize if i am not the fastest to respone. anyway, if anyone would like to plot anything ( i especially welcome anyone from phoenix, lets get the relationship canons started ! ) i can plot over tumblr ims, twitter or disc*rd ( flora🌸#5511 )

career, about, plots

facts:

hwang “haru” junho, haru is his stage name - means day

born and raised in seoul, september 13th, 1998, 23 years old.

parents shielded him from the spotlight but when he debuted the rumors spread quickly and eventually they were photgraphed at his debut showcase supporting him.

in middle and high school he tried different sports, baseball and volleyball were his favorite.

in baseball he was a catcher

in volleyball he was a setter

phoenix’s vocalist, sub-rapper and VISUAL!

fans call him a face genius

been an idol now since 2018

his parents are famous and well known actors

has a younger sister who is not interested in being in the spotlight

is used to getting underestimated and loves to prove everyone that he is talented in his own right but is aware he has a long way to go.

has a good relationship with his parents, though they did disapprove of him being an idol, they wished he had pursued something else but they support him

disclaimer: i love angsty, slow burn, emotional plots that tug on heartstrings ok - and i love romance to mess up my muses so don’t be scared to ask about shipping and those kinds of plots. i am also down for short lived romances - because they are still young and trying to live their best lives!!!!

open starters / first meeting ideas(?!)

(  1  )  “ what are you reading? ”

junho likes to read, literature was one of his favorite subjects in school so when he wants to calm down-- he reads. one day his choice of book catches the attention of someone. ( this could be set pre-trainee, when he was a trainee or after becoming an idol ) .

(  2  )     "  don’t cry, i am sure it’ll be ok  ”

junho catches your muse in an emotional state, for whatever reason-- happy, sad -- its up to you but he attempts to help. if happiness i could make a fool out of himself one way or the other, if its from sadness then he’d lend a shoulder if its someone he knows. if its a stranger then he’d bring them something warm to drink.

(  3  )     “  do i eat it?  ”

he loves to eat and he has a sweet tooth, however he is slightly intolerant to milk, its not deadly but he gets a stomach ache. one day he sees this really delicious looking cake and wants to try it but there is a huge amout if milk in it, would your muse suggest that he eat it or not? what about his diet???

(  4  )     "  you can stand under my umbrella  ”

junho is friendly. one day after practice, he sees your muse standing somewhere --without an umbrella and at first he offers to give you his but after some back and forth you end up sharing an umbrella and he walks your muse to where they need to go.

(  5  )     "  do you need a band aid?  ”

either your msue sees junho fall and offers to give him a bandaid, or junho sees your muse fall over and scratch themselves and runs to a pharmacy and gets bandaids for you -- the only kind they had were pink and blue kids bandaids.

(  6  )     “  you’re… very handsome. is that all you are?  ”

it’s a fact that junho got signed for his visuals -- he knows this, it wasn’t for his amazing talent but very few have stated this to his face and so when your muse’s bluntness comments on this he is left speechless for a moment.

( 7 ) “ do you not pay attention where you walk? ”

the first time junho and your muse meet, your muse trips over something - from what he isn’t sure but he helps you stand back up. then the next few times they see each other your muse keeps tripping or walking into walls/glass doors. one day junho notices your muse walking aimlessly and just before your muse is about to trip/walk into something he stops you, chuckles and asks.

( 8 ) “ rescue operation ”

walking home from one of the late night practices he hears a noise from somewhere in a park, goes to find out what it is and there in a tree a small kitten is sitting meowing. at first he tries to call the cat to him but with no luck -- he looks around before grabbing onto a thick branch and starts climbing into the tree, once he has the cat he looks around, realizing it’s higher up than expected and i struggling to climb down with the cat clawing into him. so he calls for help.

( 9 ) “ can you be brave? ”

there isn’t much junho fears but if there is one thing he has to admit to struggle with it has to be scary movies and horror houses. however during halloween one year your muse and he were paired up randomly go go through one and your muse... was braver than he was - this was a few years ago but now? now you meet again as debuted idols and he is embarassed.

( 10 ) “ i wish ... ”

as trainee’s they were standing on a rooftop and wishing upon a shooting star, there was solidarity between the two but what did your muse wish for?

( 11 ) “ i am not a good person ”

when rejecting someone this is the line he usually uses before breaking their hearts, your muse overhears him saying this but you know him better than that and the fact that he is not a bad person, like he makes himself out to be.

#[ i stayed awake until 3 for the first time in a year im gonna be dead tomorrow help #[ plot with me ! #━ ‹ ✦ ooc ›

[queenofallwitches]

an update and primer:

so the last winter was weird. I had a complete breakdown, went into psychiatric hospital for 40 days in total. two seperate times.

learnt a heap of new things, met a tonne of cool people and had amazing conversations and few fights but overcome my own demons by that.

brain speaking-I have a scarred brain stem and neurological disorder is not a mental diagnosis, but a neurological disorder, proven by MRI scan, ADHD.

also damage to my basal ganglia, and prefrontal cortex.

neurological diagnosis means ADHD is not a "mental" health issue, as some believe, rather a neurodevelopment disorder caused by structural differences in the ADHD brain.

other neurodevelopment disorders include: Tourettes, Autism, Cerebal Palsy, Dyslexia and other Motor and Intellectual Disabilities. (Which recieve, in my view, a lot of insight, media information and stigma reduction by the advocacy networks surrounding these types of disability).

Over the last few years Autism has been over everything, I've seen mainstream media cover Tourettes and yet ADHD is still HUGELY misunderstood, misconceived and misrepresented in media, be in from the angle of documentaries, personal insight of a "typical" case, films, tv, and other media.

one of the first things my dr told me was "in females it rarely presents as hyperactive red-cordial OD child"

which is what my mother BELIEVES, that is because I have an adopted cousin with the ADHD dx who was that growing up, but the representation I'm told is also divergent for women with a higher IQ score than the average IQ. I come in around 142 and tested 123 at age 3 when I was unable to focus, pay attention and had severe trauma. I tested 142 in grade 8.

I'll share my experience as a female who is intellectually gifted, with higher IQ than average, and an adhd brain:

I've been told gifted and talented "genius" children are harder to diagnose because the symptoms present differently, we hide it better (camouflage) and our focusing can be "faked" by mediocre efforts of academic success.. this is true, I would do the assignment the Sunday night hours deadline, last minute, or have my parents half do it for me, plagiarise it (fuck I've killed my whole academic career now) copied but changed my words

from old 1970s encyclopaedias I KNEW they couldn't cross reference (I went through 15 years of school never studying doing homework or assignments and still had top grades).

I literally did not listen, and spent my classes planning the end of the world survival strategies with my GT friend who, basically helped me with my calculus and hard fucking maths, which was the ONLY 50 minutes of the day I put attention into my work.

now I'm going to be heading back to full-time study in the coming months, I get anxious as the pressure of a Bachelor level degree, and the pressure it takes me to perform, is enough to break me down. I've been advised it might be wise to start light (like a basic vet style diploma) and then build up, which is logical, but I keep thinking I'm meant to be doing my thesis by now. which is the kind of pressure one gets as a kid who is told repeatedly, "your intelligence is exceedingly the average and you can do ANYTHING you want"

I wanted to be an astronaut, a storm chaser, and an architect, a town planner and then a journalist. I always held to being a "FBI agent" or spy (I wonder why). so when I found psychology is really a blend of all these things, I kinda found a niche in a psych and social science double degree. but I'm thinking my academic career is LIFELONG, and due to the fact I also want to work in my field alongside my many written thesis coming, I'll be in academics for a long time. I may fail a few things, which I have to come to terms with. I do not fail easily, or readily, but I'm a perfectionist type-a academic who will put my whole life on the line to achieve "merit". I get exams, I get assessments, I read journals super-easy, I talk the talk and walk the walk so well psychologists who are at masters level compliment me on my "knowledge".

when it comes to mental health and trauma, I will always have the personal attachment, called lived experience, which will make failure and burnout, 100 percent realistic. I have to boundary up, bootstraps on, and prepare that yes, my personal "bias" will probably be entwined in this.

which is why I'm looking at the social science for the statistics and thesis writing side of things, and the counselling for the trained therapist side. either way, the degree of counselling requires so much self-insight, and then the social-science will back me away from personifying it. the other choice is criminology, which leads to forensic psychology, which is eternally fascinating. my main concern is the pro-pedophile content Ill be up against, which will look at the anatomy of a shoplifter akin to the devil, and leave the pedophile in the DSM-5 dx "paraphilia" box.

I'm not joining or jumping to anything.

either way I've got 2 year of credit, a heap of pathways and a lot of "academic momentum" from all my life being aimed to be "academic powerhouse". I went through my files and found a lot of awards I'd won in my high school, and top place in the competitions we would be entering in. I remember feeling so sad if I had a "credit" vs a distinction or high distinction, only to see now, a credit in university maths in year 9 is a skillset I don't have anymore so, good on me. or a credit in English, or Science at that age was pretty impressive, considering these tests were random and not studied for.

just a general skills assessment only the top 30 kids in the year were to take on a year by year basis and put out to vet from the top universities and taken by other kids in the same grade around the state.

it puts so much focus on my intelligence, because it's primed to be that way, I know that is true. I know I feel good being academically successful and it gives me a feeling of "achievement" but is it really for me?

I also found 2 letters from my local politicians offering me job placement, work experience and I was 1/4 kids in my 10th grade graduation tom get the letter, and due to my behaviour I pissed ALL the idiots who bullied me off. I was "too pretty to be a nerd" "too smart to be pOpUlAr".

so I made a group of misfits, who are all highly intelligent, creative and my group had the ONLY gay male in the school AND THIS IS BEFORE YOU FUCKING RETARDS MADE IT "COOL". he was bullied badly, so fuck you, you fucks claim "liberalism" but I bet you were the type of idiot who bullied guys like him in high school while you pretended to like my chemical romance and fake cut yourselves. I hate you all, forever.

my grade was full of idiots who were fake emo, who left the scene the moment the scene changed to dub-step and club music. I was there, watching you all, like sonny Moore, went from FFTL to that dubstep skrillex shit he started in 2009.

I dated you, hooked up with you and I went to your gigs. I know who was real and who was fake. I met some of you years later and realised the more emotive ones were the less "alternative appearing".

I can say 1/10000 emo guys from the 00s were genuinely Into the music and scene for the right reasons based on my dating history and this can and will be analysed statistically using SPSS one day to prove a lot. I've had too many relationships from each sub-culture and I have had 4-11 males at a time per public "output" of my energy pursue me over life.

I'm not being cocky when I say I have a long line of "suitors" and its banked back about 50 men. it's been a thing I've avoided as it seems to grow based on my body shape, attitude, appearance, so I am currently out of touch with dating scenes, no interest to try that ANYWAY, given the fact that I have had so many LONG TERM relationships ANYWAY. I can't see another one going well, and at this case, I'm living with an ex but we never went on conventional and now our families label this 3 things: "asexual", "polyamorous" and "open relationship". I'm also "bisexual" but this all to humans outside, looks ridiculous on paper. (wild orgies and lots of swinging or some stupid sex magick probably is what J brother literally thinks we do).

bc humans are intrinsically designed to need to label things they don't understand. we share a lease, not a relationship, and fucking polyamorous, I WISH. there are no girl-girl-guy 3 some, or orgies, or sex magic parties.

this has changed the attitude and perception of this "relation' which Is non-romantic, non-sexual. he can date and likely, will, as can I , and I likely won't date.

I would say 14/15 have had ADHD, or other mental illness and or trauma. which means to me, nothing at all.

I think this "open book" non romantic relationship style of "friends and roommates" not sexual.

attachment is misunderstood by others but works well fro my adhd, meaning I'm not expected to marry, or be a wife in any capacity. he is free to do what he wants, as I am, and open communication is a novel frontier I brought into this in the start, and stayed with for the duration. we fight, but I fight with a lot of people in my life over many petty things. also down to my adhd, I believe, I have rejection sensitive dysphoria, which makes me hypersensitive to rejection, perceived or real.

im not sure if this is trauma or adhd or both. but

I have used sexuality as a weapon in many relationships but it cannot or will not be used here, so I have had to resort to uncovering parts of myself which I never knew, which will stay with me even if he decided to marry and wife up in 5 years, which I'm okay and expecting him to do, and I would much rather that then be trapped in a situation where I cannot be that "wife/mother archetype" as I'm too "femme fatal/other-woman/sex-laced seductress and siren" a "FWB, unicorn, drug buddy, hook-up where im a therapist" or "intellectual and cognitive mind-bender work-study obsessed woman".

both at once and many types of human, including one who is a full-time ceremonial magician of 7 years. I will drink, drug, fuck, fight like males and still be more feminine and high maintenance than 89% of women. I grew up a tomboy and don't mind getting into fun, adventure based situations, like hiking, or anything adrenaline, I would only be reluctant to eat weird shit.

I also have many "neurological" issues including ADHD, and trauma which causes a rupture in the average human and I dating.

I'll tell you how many men have said "you are the unicorn" and then realised what that means, I went as far as canvasing the PUA world back in 2014 after reading the game, a book on PUA, which is essentially, pick up artistry, based on NLP and hypnosis. I did this after reading the copy my ex in 2008 handed me before we dated saying "I gave this up for you". it took me years to open the book, buy when I did I truly believed the only way I would fall in love again, was through PUA. that failed in so many ways but gave me a training foundation for men who were candidates for that, I have trained up J, and the way that sounds is BAD. I know, but I got a lot of value myself, I just don't see it how I wanted to see it.

but that was my original intent, and I achieved this he knows that, knew it was happening and evolved for the best self.

I am thinking we can modulate this into a business model for how I was operating in the BDSM world was mainly psychological, not physical.

I get told all of is incredibly intimidating (I am told) to women and men.

I don't really care anymore, because people have always seen this part of me in the wrong way ANYWAY, but I own who I am NOW. which is what I needed ANYWAY. so it cannot be stolen again, and sexual healing has come from abstinence ironically.

I also don't care what or who is trying to tear up my relations, toxic or not toxic, all people around me will be on a healing journey by default, or cut out of my life, for I am radiating that energy so brightly its impossible NOT to feel that pull.

I will drag your shadows into the light, and make your secrets spin from your lips into my consciousness. its not what I do but its what is design.

I make your weaknesses mountains to climb over. you cannot hide from these in my presence, I won't be this controlling or obsessive female who wants 24-7 attention as I have a life full of meaning without love or sex. I don't want to be wined, dined or expensively gifted, unless specially requested.

I don't want love letters or romantic declarations, this isn't some femnazi bullshit, but it triggers me. I appreciate the efforts and won't make you feel bad about your insecurities, for mine are probably 30 x more pronounced.

I appreciate small things, that most males won't or don't know how to do. like remembering things I've said and being thoughtful. or knowing my silence isn't personal, or a game, but a protective wall. I've had songs sung too me, guitars played, songs written, or things made in ways that are heartfelt. but I've always had them used against me too. so it is the context. I value time, energy, conversations of depth and reciprocal exchange. I also value trauma understanding, my alters and fragments being accepted and valued as me as a whole and a person who is not afraid, or scared of stupid stuff like sensitivity, emotions, feelings as raw as my own. men feel intensely too, lol.

but will only give oral sex 100 times before I don't recieve it, I can communicate now so that wouldn't happen.

but I won't be a bitch about this stuff. I am extremely feminine and care in ways other people, do not, I forget nothing people tell me, so it can be a reward or reverse uno card pull in a fight, but I am not evil or deviant in my relations. I react, depending on how you treat me. I don't need your money, or providing source of income to be okay as I am my own queen, however sharing resources is okay to build something. I don't need to be seduced, but will need to be shown a person is trustworthy.

few cross that.

that will always be time-endurance and testing. there are ground rules I don't play with, or play games. or like being forced or forged into something I'm not. I know abusive and I know safe, and I am a psychology expert, trained psychotherapist and study humans for fun, so I'll always be analysing things.

and I know red flags and I know ego, I know how to placate and please and pleasure, but will only do so, for a bigger and better reason than the mere act of seduction. which is without value and transactional to someone like me, I won't lie.

and I know every tactic in the book, for the book was written by someone like me, many lives ago, and my karma is being burnt for that book.

in terms of walls, I have many, may it be called a maze. or labrnyth.

I will teach you things you never thought you'd know, and change your life in ways you won't ever be able to go back to before. I will blow your mind, sexually, emotionally, intellectually, on all levels, and I'll make your friends and family love me.

I'll bring your walls down and you won't be able to understand this, because you don't understand me, and thats ok.

but I'll always understanding you and make your life better because thats what I do anyway, and people talk to me about things I will never share, as I keep secrets. I am jealous, of everything but, only because I am attached in a disorganised way, and working on that.(I won't even mention how man women or men don't know basic psychology of themselves). I also am a therapist , for my friends and family too.i should not be , but I am. I care, I listen, If you think I'm not listening, I'm still listening. sometimes I interrupt, because I have ADHD and I am horrible at resolute planning, or being "normal". but I don't want to be normal anyway. I need you to recognise and understand my shit, for that is what I do for everyone in my life, and I have helped more than I receive.

I'll probably accidentally give you therapy, but thats fine, because you will uncover your depths and find meaning in this. it's not something that goes bad unless you are fundamentally, evil, even the most abusive relationship I was in, was benefited from this process. yes he's still narcissistic, but he is self-aware. and did I benefit, never, just know the anatomy of self-proclaimed narc and I still can't hate him. will get my civil claim one day.

I will fuck your mind without meaning too. but thats because I fuck my own mind. but the meaning is made in the man- some find this highly offensive or personal (its not). I fuck minds by my own overthinking, or over perception on many levels of reality. so join the ride, or don't come along at all. because once the rollercoaster is in motion, I have no control of what may or may not happen. it's purely experimental.

I am experimental.

and the women who are judging me, are not any better.

look within, and shut the fuck up. self-improve and quit this jealous divide and conquer bitchiness. I HATE gossip, bitches, snitches and fakers.

I look to other women who are intellectually, physically and spiritually "individual". and find value in superior status to my own, which is something my narcissistic ex taught me.

I look for mentors, and teachers and people who will teach me how to improve myself, which I am fearful to reconnect after something is amazing and I can't give anything back of positive value. I am sorry I am working on that.

I won't devalue those below me, but I also need to be mutually benefiting from a relationship.

I dont drag people down, I may disappear if I feel I am doing this by mistake. I am flakey as fuck, and sorry for that. its anxiety and lack of perfectionism, so I am wrong and bad for this. I can change. will change.

if you can find value with my relation, personal professional or romantic, we can move into a symbiotic beneficial agreement based on mutual "terms". but many won't or cannot see this, nor do I impose my bullshit into the lives of randoms at this age.

I don't care if this is cruel, it's real.

I value loyalty, compassion, self-insight/awareness, someone who understands all parts-spirituality, metaphysics while still having intellectual & logical & analytical brain-sight.

I enjoy music, magick and learning new things.

I do not care about appearances I dont think ive dated based on one time. I do value connections and chemistry which is far-few between, I hate fakers. I smell insincerity miles away. but I do respect women who are well-presented, or beautiful, with hair beauty and makeup, I can't do this shit well, so I look up to those who are in professions who do it like art. I find them to be genius level queens who scare me.

I call out bad behaviour and make people uncomfortable if they are repressed. I will change you without even meaning too, I don't even need to date you. its just my presence, over time, amplified by the intensity of the dynamics.

I don't want simplicity, but I also don't need over complexity.

I value passion, independence, creativity, curiosity, problem-solving, deep-disscussions, shared adventures and some occasional risk-taking (lol), sensuality and sexuality for a common cause beyond physical pleasure. I like being taught but not micromanaged. I need my own independence, and need to be trusted with that. I hate being scolded for that like a child, or being pushed to change my ways to conform to societal values. which I will push back and refuse to do. which is not healthy. I don't adult like many others do, but I try to proceed in other ways. and learn to adult like normal people, accept me.

I also value myself, and how I can be celebrated, enhanced and improved vs. the opposite.

I give space, and have boundaries, and understand human psychology, sexuality and relationships in ways few others unless they are trained, can do.

I value MY time. so you can have space to value YOURS. I dont need to be in anyones pocket for a long time. I love being alone, and being around people who are stimulating, but draining people will be drained out of my life quicker than I intend. I am sorry for the people who felt I disappeared, when I was only trying to be 'fair', if I feel I'm a bad influence, I will work on myself until I'm not. I'm still working on it.

I also use this psychology awareness, to enhance communication, connection. you may or may not become an accidental guinea pig. I will be upfront that I am experimental, but that is part of the buy ticket and take the ride. lets work together. not apart.

I am coming from a place of love, and love is what I feel for my animals, which you will be adopting as children.which I want to stop experiments being done on. I love love, in all ways, but hate cruelty of animals and children, violence and suffering. I dont advocate justice, because I find life is fucking cruel, unfair and unjust. by default, so I focus on myself. what can be changed, and what I am able to do in my own locus on control. I will always find myself drawn to the outsiders, the misfits, the vagabonds, the misunderstood. I want to help people who are society, or socially, disadvantaged by trauma and mental illness, but only when I have ability to help myself.

it's a journey.

I will not date anyone who is cruel to animals, outside of specify magical sacrifice, there is not any place for that. nor will I date or fraternise with anything or anyone linked or associated with pedophilia. I won't judge anyone on anything that are outside animal cruelty and pedophilia. I don't and haven't. I keep on good terms with every ex, bar 1 whom I only apologised too this year. it felt good to do that. I change my behaviour.

I am open, but also highly attuned to both logical, factual, empirical , scientific worlds, and spiritual, intuitive, psychic and the "collective unconscious". I walk in both these realms, and I am "conventionally attractive". which puts a lot of pressure on me, to be "stupid". I am always dumbing myself down to fit into normality, but I look ridiculous if I do that so I peacock my intellect.

only to be misconceived.

I give up because I no longer care how anyone but MYSELF can see ME. I won't dumb myself down , but I can enhance you UP. prepare yourself for graded education, evolution and self-growth on mass scales.sorry not sorry.

that sucks for the people who want to be living vicariously through me, for making up to lost trauma years, for family who sold me out for the success I'd bring home, or fake trauma enmeshed friends, or whatever they want or need from me. I value my time and energy, and have given that in abundance, and if you want to be with nut only "one part of me that is alters". I can't provide that now. not sorry.

I have to work on something or not be in a dynamic at all.

I no longer can switch on demand to adapt for you, it will not be effective and that upsets a lot of people. especially now I'm sober. harder to handle this, as I see the world for its ways and why it is, more vividly. I haven't had alcohol for almost 2 months, although, I could drink, I haven't.

I can't do it, anymore. it, being, faking, my selves fronting to impress. I can't. I have no more left to give, and I'm expected by everyone to be a way I can't do it in the way they want.

I will go to another year long outpatient DBT, followed by 10 weeks of A-C-T therapy, and however many ECT OR TMS may or may not help. I'm told it won't (ect) work. but TMS, is something I am open too. but I am telling you, none of this psychotherapy, that will be based on dbt skills, day therapy, intensive skills training, recommencing my studying, and resuming "life worth living" will or can wipe the traumas I've "recovered" memories for.

I will also shut the fuck up, and tell nobody about this if you leave me alone, I told that to my family, and this is open letter to the watchers, stalkers and perps who read this openly as I track the hits on here and have 200+ visits a day every day for the last month. globally. no idea how or who you are but I think its the same people who called the police for the "ayreon song lyrics" seen to be a suicide not last October.

thanks for that wake up call, I have shut the fuck up, since December, more so now. I will burn the journals, or lock them up.

my recovery is not linear, not yet fully integrated and I trust nobody so I don't think my psychotherapy will be deep, I focus on things like ADHD AND my EDNOS. and dbt skills. I won't be talking about sexual traumas.

enjoy the update, and thanks for the "attention".

I have my goals, my work, my meaning and what my life should and could and will look like, but I will not share that with anyone. that means everyone right now.

I've been tested, traumatised and terrorised to the point of not-tolerant of anyone who may bring that back, and banish the fuck out of my sphere every moment I need.

take me as I am, or watch me as I go, which I will go, where I am not wanted I will remove myself, but I will find where I am celebrated because I create that.

I will rise up against all adversity every time but that is survival and that created a resilient and brave woman, in me. who will not be destroyed or decomposed by humans who are fundamentally fucking evil.

I gift you my truth, in progression, and give up the pain of the past.

#I've seen the MRI #magnetic resonance imaging #brainstem #scarred #brain damage #adhd #attention deficit disorder; mental health research; children #ADHD brain #living with adhd #adhd woman #women with adhd #mental illness #neurodevelopment disorder #neurological disorder #brain disorder #about me #trauma #cptsd #complex ptsd #adjustment disorder #love language #complex trauma #dissociative identity disorder #trauma and adhd #trauma warrior #writing #tldr #mental health awareness #dbt therapy #therapy

[freddiesaysalright]

Just Like a Woman - Part 12

A Roger Taylor x Reader Story

Summary: You and Roger were once in love when you were young. Only, he went on to be a rock star, and you went on to be a lawyer. Now, quite against your will, you’re representing him in his divorce.

Word Count: 3.1k

Tag List: @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @crazyweirdocalledfriday, @the-moving-finger-writes, @assembledherethevolunteers, @rose-writes-prose, @queenlover05, @26-7-49, @drowsebaby, @moon-stars-soul, @im-an-adult-ish, @ixchel-9275, @jennyggggrrr, @zyanmaik, @mypassionfortrash, @a19103, @madeinheavxn, @beepbeephardy, @rrogerchxrm, @qweenly, @blisshemmings, @seasidecrowbar, @internationalkpoplova, @ellystone, @takemetoneverland420, @coffeexcigarette, @lookuptotheskiesandsee, @thatpunkmaximoff, @angelkissys, @rocknroll-stolemyass, @simonedk, @anotheronewritesthedust1, @peterquillzblog, @mrfahrenhcit, @joseph-mozzerella, @theprettyandthereckless, @nixfreak, @johndeaconshands, @rogerandhiscar, @queenmaracasandlove, @sunflower-ben, @cubetriangle, @amy-brooklyn99, @scorpiogemini, @kiainspace, @itsabenthing, @bookandband, @makemeyourwife-loveofmylife, @grazessa, @borhapqueen92, @theonsasheart, @vektorivittu, @chanti-frn, @brianssixpence, @dancingcoolcat​, @xviiarez, @irepookie, @lnnuend0, @rogerxmeddows, @vici-xx, @bellas2silly​,@rogerrhqpsody If you’d like to be added for the epilogue, let me know!

A/N: THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER! However, there WILL be an epilogue, so it’s not quite over yet!

Warning(s): None!

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7 Part 8  Part 9  Part 10  Part 11

Part 12 here we go!!!

Two weeks passed. The sentencing was equally as satisfying as the trial. Sully was hit with ten years in prison, but would not be eligible for parole until after serving at least five. You were sure they would appeal, but for now, he was going to be off the streets and Dominique had secured her justice. It made your entire career in law up until this point worth it. 

After the sentencing, Bill called you into his office. You were nervous about it because usually he didn’t have private meetings unless it was serious. You swallowed before walking in. 

“Y/N,” he greeted you. “Thanks for coming up. I know you’re busy.”

“No problem,” you replied. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you for handling this case,” he said. “You took it on with no experience. You also overcame your own hurt to take on Roger’s divorce. You’ve proven just how valuable you are to this firm these past months.”

You blinked, surprised by the flattery. 

“Well, I - um - thank you,” you said. “What’s brought this on?” 

“We’re growing as a firm,” he said. “And with John retiring, I’ve got to start thinking about his replacement.”

John was the other senior partner. He was Bill’s professor, and they began the firm together. Your stomach jolted. Was he saying what you thought he was saying?

He twirled his pen between his fingers and glanced down at a packet of papers on his desk. 

“This is a new contract for employment,” he said. “For you. To become a partner.”

“A senior partner?” you questioned. 

He smiled. “Just partner for now. But that is the track I see for you.”

You almost squirmed in your seat with joy. To become a partner was a dream of yours. To be on track for senior partner was even more pleasing to hear. 

“What do you say?” he asked. “We’re a good team. You deserve to help me run this place, especially after what you’ve recently accomplished.”

A smile spread across your face. 

“I say hell yes,” you told him, beaming.  

“Wonderful,” he replied. “If you read the contract, you’ll see your salary increase.”

You reached out and picked up the packet. You scanned the first page until you found the number. Your stomach did a flip at the offer and your eyes went wide. 

“What?!” 

He smirked. “That’s just a little less than I make. I thought that was fair considering how great an attorney you are.”

“That’s a lot of money!” 

“Nothing that you don’t deserve.”

You put the papers in your lap and looked at him with your mouth hanging open. 

“This is incredible, Bill,” you said earnestly. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” he returned. “I’m looking forward to this.” 

Feeling completely elated, you signed the papers. Afterward, you called Roger to tell him the good news. 

“A partner?!” he gasped. “Y/N, that’s amazing! Congratulations!”

“Thank you, sweetie!” you replied. “I just can’t believe it! I mean, Bill did so much of the work for Dominique’s case, and he guided me through all of it, so I was just really shocked! But I’m excited I can hardly stand it!”

“Tell you what, this calls for celebration,” he said. “How about I take you to a special lunch tomorrow and we can toast to your promotion?”

“I’d love that,” you told him. 

“Perfect,” he said. “I’ll see you tonight, love.”

“See you tonight.”

You hung up and giggled to yourself. You could barely contain your emotion. Everything was coming together, like Roger said. You were looking forward to your future with him, and your promising career as a partner. 

The next day, Jane came into your office first thing in the morning.

“Y/N, Miss -” she began, but Miss Thomas swept by her and marched into your office.

“Miss Thomas needs to see you,” Jane finished, shooting the woman an annoyed glare. 

“Yes, Jane, I can see that,” you sighed. “You may go.”

She nodded and closed the door. You looked at Miss Thomas. 

“Lucy, how can I help you?” you asked.  

“I need you to help my father with his wrongful termination suit,” she said, swinging her hair behind her shoulder. 

“Okay, what does he do?” you asked.

“He’s a primary school teacher,” she said.

“And why was he fired?” you wondered.

“Because he believes he’s Santa Claus,” she told you simply.

You blinked. “I - I’m sorry?” 

“He told the children that he’s Santa - which he believes - so the headmaster fired him,” she went on. “It’s completely unfair. What, just because he’s Santa means he doesn’t have a right to work?”

“You do know that he’s not really Santa Claus, right?” you asked slowly, shock still coming over you.

“There’s no way to prove that he isn’t, really,” she said with a shrug. “Whether he is or not isn’t for me to decide. The point is, he shouldn’t be fired for it.”

“When’s the court date?” you asked, ignoring the ridiculousness of it.

“Tomorrow,” she said. “Can you meet with him today?”

Your eyes went wide. “Tomorrow?! Why am I only just learning about this?!”

“He had another lawyer, but he was terrible so I fired him,” she answered. “You’re the best lawyer I know, so I came to you.” 

“I can meet with him today, but it’ll have to be over lunch,” you said with a sigh. “I’m booked the rest of the day.” 

“Great, I’ll see you at noon,” she chirped. 

She stood up, turned on her heel and sauntered out of your office. You heaved another sigh. You had so been looking forward to your lunch with Roger, but now you were going to have to call and cancel. But as you picked up the phone, you heard the now familiar laugh of the little boy. You whipped around and spotted him crawling beneath the window behind your desk. 

“What are you doing down there?” you wondered, smiling at him. 

You had seen him at least once a day for the past two weeks. You told only Roger, who insisted you see a psychiatrist. Or maybe even a neurologist. You refused because going to the doctor was your absolute least favorite thing to do and you were certain the visions would stop. Only, they weren’t. You were beginning to consider Roger’s idea. Especially now that you were talking to him. 

He only giggled before disappearing as he always did. You shook your head, amused. Then you dialed Roger. The phone rang, and as it did, you got an idea. 

“Hello?” Roger’s voice came through on the other end.

“Rog?”

“Yes, love?”

“Could you meet me at my office for lunch today instead of the restaurant?” you requested. “I’m meeting a last minute client and I could use your help.”

“Really?” he questioned. “Sounds odd. And what about our celebration?”

“It’s Miss Thomas’s father,” you told him. “Can we celebrate tonight instead?”

“I can’t imagine what he’s like,” he said with a chuckle. “Of course we can celebrate tonight. I’ll change the reservation.

“Thank you so much,” you replied. “Get here around noon, yeah?”

“I’ll be there.”

“Love you!”

“Love you more.”

You hung up, humming contentedly. 

He made good on his promise. In fact, Roger arrived before Miss Thomas and her father. You explained to Roger what she had told you that morning, but didn’t tell him the vital question you were going to ask. 

Miss Thomas entered your office, accompanied by the kindest looking elderly man you had ever seen in your life. You wondered how he could have fathered someone like her. He was round, with cherry red cheeks, and a jolly smile. He wore a black peacoat, but you could see the red trousers beneath it. On his feet were black boots. Atop his silvery white mane of hair, he wore a red Santa hat. As he made his way through the office, he wished everyone a happy Christmas. Until finally, he was at your door. 

“Mr. Claus,” you said respectfully. “Thank you for taking time to see me today.”

“Thank you, Y/N,” he replied. “This whole business is really throwing off my schedule. And this is a very busy time of year for me.”

“I imagine so,” you returned. “Please, have a seat.”

“Thank you,” he said kindly, and he sat in a chair across from your desk. 

“Tell me a little bit about your case,” you said. 

“Well, for most of the year, I teach primary school,” he explained. “But of course, the closer the holidays get, the busier I get. So, I told the children this and why I was so busy, and then some parents got upset and the next thing I knew, I was fired.”

“I’m sorry,” you told him. “Well, we’re going to try and get you your job back, sir. Only, we have to prove that what you’re saying isn’t proof of diminished capacity, which is what the headmaster is claiming.”

“I don’t understand all these legal terms,” he said with a shrug. “I just know that after delivering the presents this year, I won’t have the usual children to look forward to.”

“Mr. Claus, have you ever seen this man before?” you asked, pointing to Roger. 

Mr. Thomas laughed heartily. “Well, of course I have! But not since he was a boy! How are you, Roger?”

“Um...fine?” 

Roger raised a concerned eyebrow at you. He clearly had never actually met this man in his life.

“Mr. Claus, do you know Mr. Taylor from his band, Queen?” you asked. 

Mr. Thomas shook his head. “I’m afraid not. Roger stopped writing to me when he was ten, and of course with all the new children, we lost touch.”

“Mr. Claus, how many children does Roger have?” you asked. 

“Why, he’s got two!” Mr. Thomas said excitedly. “Little Felix and baby Rory. Both very good children who will be getting sweets in their stockings this year!”

Roger’s eyes went wide as an owl’s. He looked over at you again. 

“I’ve never shared my children’s names publicly,” he said. “Ever.”

“And of course, there’ll be another next year, though he hasn’t got a name yet,” Mr. Thomas added with a twinkle in his eye. 

You froze as you absorbed those words. 

“I...I’m sorry, what?” you squeaked with shock. 

Miss Thomas looked at you like you were an idiot. 

“You’re pregnant, Y/N, didn’t you know?” she snapped. 

“How could I possibly know, I haven’t even missed a period!” you protested. 

You looked desperately at Roger. The color had drained from his face. You gaped at each other, in complete disbelief. 

“You’ve seen him, haven’t you?” Mr. Thomas said. “Your son?”

“M-my son?” you sputtered. 

Was that the little boy you were seeing? Was that why he resembled Roger with that little piece of you? 

Mr. Thomas’s eyes sparkled again as he winked at you. 

“I...I have been seeing a boy, but I didn’t…” you trailed off, brain muddled with everything you were experiencing.

“He’s trying to get your attention, Y/N,” Mr. Thomas said. “Have you spoken to him?”

“I’ve tried, but he always disappears,” you admitted, unsure what made you comfortable enough to say it. 

“He’s telling you he’s on the way,” he continued. “You ought to schedule an appointment with your doctor.”

You still couldn’t quite believe what was happening. You had no anticipated Mr. Thomas knowing about Roger’s children, much less the one that might exist in the future. And yet, to think that you might be carrying Roger’s son made you happier than you could recall feeling in years. 

“Mr. Thomas, I will take your case,” you finally said. 

“Hold on, this must be a trick,” Roger interjected. “I’m famous, he could have known -”

“Not if you’ve never shared their names,” you cut across him. 

“What if he’s a journalist who could somehow gain access to -”

“Roger, he’s a schoolteacher,” you interrupted again. Then you looked at Mr. Thomas. “And so much more.”

You smiled at him, which he returned. Roger was still struggling.

“This is crazy,” he said. “It’s absolutely mad.”

“There’s only one way to be sure,” you said.

You had Jane schedule you a doctor’s appointment that afternoon. An at-home pregnancy test would not do for this occasion. Roger insisted on coming with you, so before you knew it, you were sitting on an exam table, swinging your legs with anxiety. Roger was pacing in front of you. The results of this would mean Mr. Thomas was telling the truth, but it meant even more for you and Roger.

“Rog, if we are pregnant,” you began with a sigh. “What...what would you like to do about it?”

He looked at you and his brow furrowed. “How do you mean?”

Tears started to well up in your eyes. “I mean, would you want to keep it, or…?”

“Oh, my love,” he said gently, striding over to pull you into a hug. “Of course I want to keep it. It’s our child.”

“I know, but we’ve only just got back together, and we aren’t married,” you went on.

“Would you like to be?” he asked.

You blinked. “What?”

“Married,” he said. “Do you want to get married?”

“Is this a proposal?” you returned.

“It might be,” he replied. 

You frowned. “Roger, I don’t want to get married just because there might be a child. I want you to marry me only if you really want to marry me. And if you are going to propose, it can’t be in a bloody doctor’s office.”

He chuckled. “Don’t get upset, it was just a way to start the discussion.”

A beat passed and he became serious again.

“Y/N, I want to marry you because I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone,” he said. “The only thing more foolish than getting married would be not getting married because we have wasted so much time already.”

Your mouth began to fall open as you looked at him.

“And no, this isn’t an official proposal,” he said. “I know the one you’ve always dreamed of. But this is where my heart is and I want you to know - I’d marry you right this fucking second, baby or no baby.”

“Rog, I -” you began, but then the doctor walked in. 

“Well, Miss Y/L/N, it looks like you are pregnant,” she said. 

The words washed over you. Pregnant. With Roger’s baby. The dream you had always wanted since before you even knew who you were. 

“I...I am?” you asked. “Are you sure?”

She chuckled and then turned the paper in her hand to show you. 

“I’m sure,” she said. “How did you know if you hadn’t missed a period?”

You looked between her and Roger, scrambling for an answer. 

“Father Christmas told us,” he said simply.

She blinked and looked at him like she hadn’t heard him right. “Father...Christmas?”

He nodded. “Father Christmas.”

“Well, I can’t exactly argue with that, can I?” she teased, smiling again. “So, we should start you on a few things to keep you and your baby healthy…”

She went on, and you tried to pay attention, but the only thing you could think of was the life you now knew existed within you. You looked down at your stomach, thinking of how it would look in nine months. You were having a baby. With the man of your dreams. You looked up at Roger, who was listening intently to the doctor. You were so grateful that you had found him again, you felt your eyes get warm with tears.

“Y/N?” the doctor said, looking at you with concern. “Are you alright?”

You nodded and swallowed the lump in your throat.

“Yeah, um, could we just have a minute?” you choked out.

“Of course,” she agreed. “Just call me if you need anything.”

She stepped out of the room and you looked at Roger through your tears. A shaky smile formed across your lips as you met his gaze.

“We’re having a baby!” you sobbed.

You slid off the exam table and threw yourself into his arms. He laughed as he caught you. Giving you a squeeze, he closed his eyes to the feeling of you against him. This was everything he had ever wanted as well. To be with you. To have children with you. To love you for the rest of his life.

“I love you so much,” he said, choking up himself. “I’m so happy.”

“Me too,” you returned. “Happy Christmas, Roger.”

“Happy Christmas, Y/N.”

You went to dinner that night as planned, only without the champagne. While you were originally intending to celebrate your promotion to partner, you were thrilled to celebrate a more important promotion - to mother. You felt this was the one that would change you the most, and you couldn’t wait to see how.

As you and Roger walked back to your flat, you passed some carolers. Among them stood the little boy. He had a mischievous grin on his face that made you look at his father and smile. The boy looked at you and waved before running off and slowly fading out. The wave didn’t feel like a goodbye. It felt more like “see you soon.” 

You were dragged to a stop because Roger had halted on the sidewalk.

“Rog?” you asked. “What is it?”

His eyes were fixed on the spot the boy had just disappeared from.

“Was that him?” he wondered, looking at you.

“You saw him?!” you cried.

“I did!” he returned excitedly. “He just waved and ran off! Was that him?!”

“Yeah!” you told him. “That was the boy!”

You took a giddy moment together and clasped hands.

“I’ve got the feeling we won’t be seeing him again,” you said. “Until, y’know, he’s actually here.”

“This feels so surreal,” he replied. “I can’t believe we’ve seen him.”

“It does all seem to be so magical,” you agreed. “But I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy. I know you’ve done this already, so -”

He cut you off with a sweet kiss.

“Y/N, no matter how many times I’ve done this, the thrill of being a father again doesn’t get old,” he said. “And to have a baby with you….well, you’re all I’ve ever wanted. I am just as excited now as I was with Felix. Maybe even more so.”

You beamed at him.

“I love you, Roger Taylor,” you said. 

“I love you more, Y/N Y/L/N,” he returned.

You kissed there in the street, caring nothing for the busyness around you. All that mattered was the man in your arms, the baby in your belly, and the future before all three of you.

#roger taylor #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor x you #roger taylor imagine #Queen #queen imagine #queen x reader #queen x you #ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x you #BoRhap #borhap imagine #bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody imagine #just like a woman series

[linkfms]

☠️    *   what  is  up,  party  people  !    i’m  jojo  (  she/her  ),  23,  and  in  the  pst  timezone.    it’s  been  a  while  since  i’ve  been  in  a  group  so...  pls  bear  with  me.    anyway,  under  the  cut  you’ll  find  more  info  on  resident  emo  boy:  link  !   i’m  so  excited  to  write  with  u  all,  and,  if  u  ever  want  to  plot  give  this  a  lil’  like  or  send  an  im  over  @  yea right#4256  !

lincoln  “link”  seong  was  spotted  in  the  fashion  district  adorning  prada  combat  boots,  with  some  airpod  pros  on.    they’re  most  likely  listening  to  when  you  were  young  by  the  killers.   you  may  know  them  as  @hyperlink  or  as  that   jeon  jungkook  lookalike.    their  twenty - fourth  birthday  just  passed.    while  living  in   tribeca,   they’ve  gained  a  bit  of  a  reputation.    they’re  known  to  be  erratic  but  on  the  other  hand   vehement.    wonder  if  they’ll  be  the  next  person  to  hit  the  headlines.   (  cis male  &   he/him  )

↳     THE  BASICS:    STATISTICS.

full  name:   seong  hyunjae  (  성  현재  )    /    lincoln  seong.

nickname:  link,  and  will  probably  only  answer  to  link  !

age  &  date  of  birth:   24  &  november  21,  1996.

hometown:   born  in  busan,  south  korea,  but  moved  to  jefferson,  connecticut  in  2006.

current  location:   tribeca,  new  york.

education:  completed  high  school  and  attempted  first  semester  of  university,  but  decided  to  pursue  music  instead.

occupation:   drummer  for  indie/alternative  rock  band,  my  time  (  sound  is  similar  to  bands  like  the  killers,  the  1975,  and  paramore  ).   also  is  an  affiliate  with  an  esports  organization  !   doesn’t  play  competitively,  but  streams  and  creates  content  for  them  weekly.

sexual  orientation:   pansexual  &  panromantic.

gender  &  pronouns:   cisgender  male  &  he/him  pronouns.

↳     THE  BACKGROUND:   BIOGRAPHY.  (   tw:  mentions  of  alcoholism  &  abuse  )

seong  hyunjae  (  later  given  the  english  name  lincoln  seong...  thanks  linkin  park  !   )   was  born  in  the  heart  of  busan,  south  korea.    his  parents  married  at  the  age  of  21,  due  to  the  cultural  expectations  of  having  a  child  born  out�� of  wedlock.    while  things  seemed  to  be  smooth  sailing  for  a  while,   the  couple  realized  the  real  struggles  of  adulthood.   financial  issues  came  into  play.   stress  from  working  multiple  jobs  every  single  day  took  a  toll  on  their  mental  health,  as  well  as  their  relationship  with  each  other.   link’s  mother  began  to  develop  an  alcohol  addiction,  and  her  abusive  behavior  came  following  after.   their  home  was  falling  apart,  with  four-year-old  link  falling  asleep  to  muffled  screaming  and  glass  being  thrown  on  the  next  room  over.   his  father  was  able  to  withstand  it  for  a  while,  but  he  drew  the  line  after  coming  home  from  work  to  see  large  cuts  on  the  side  of  his  son’s  thigh,  and  a  bruise  forming  across  his  cheek.   that  was  when  he  knew  his  wife  was  dangerous.    so,  one  night  when  lincoln’s  mother  as  at  work,  he  packed  his  belongings,  grabbed  link,  and  left  without  looking  back.

for  a  while,  it  was  just  the  two  of  them.    they  found  ways  to  make  it  work,  and  despite  the  fact  that  it  was  a  constant  struggle,  his  father  never  wanted  link  to  lose  his  childhood.    in  fact,  his  father  gave  him  everything  he  could  give   —   but  most  importantly,  as  cheesy  as  it  sounds,  his  unconditional  love  and  support.    as  someone  who  lost  his  own  parents  young,  he  made  sure  that  link  would  never  feel  like  he’s  being  deprived of  that,  ever.   they  created  this  tight-knight  bond  because  of  that,  which  can’t  ever  be  broken.   and  now,  link’s  fondest  memories  always  involved  spending  time  with  his  father.    one  favorite  memory  of  his  involved  morning  jam  sessions  after  breakfast.    link’s  father  was  previously  a  lead  guitarist  in  a  garage  band  with  a  few  of  his  high  school  friends,  so  while  he  was  playing  riffs  on  his  electric  guitar,  eight-year-old  link  would  be  banging  the  coffee  table  with  plastic  straws.   

when  link  was  about  ten,  he  and  his  father  sold  all  of  their  belongings  and  moved  all  the  way  to  jefferson,  connecticut  for  a  job  offer  that  he  couldn’t  refuse.   fast  forward  a  few  years,  and  he’s  a  teenager  in  high  school.    growing  up  link  was  more  of  an  introvert,  and  would  spend  his  time  in  the  computer  lab  playing  video  games  or  browsing  in  online  forums.   he  was  a  regular  in  this  my  chemical  romance  forum  (  under  the  username  @hyperlink  ),  and  made  a  lot  of  his  lifelong  friends  over  there.    one  of  his  online  friends  jokingly  suggested  one  afternoon  that  they  should  start  a  band  over  their  nightly  skype  call,  and  while  it  was  initially  shrugged  off  as  dream  more  than  an  arm’s  reach  away,  my  time  was  born.    link  had  to  endlessly  plead  his  father  to  buy  him  a  secondhand  drum  kit  off  of  craigslist  for  christmas.   but  once  he  found  it  under  their  tree  that  year,  it  sparked  this  drive  in  him  to  learn  and  practice  nonstop. 

their  first  official  band  practice  happened  a  day  after  link’s  high  school  graduation  (  which  was  also  the  first  time  everyone  saw  each  other  in  person  !   ),  and  they  spent  that  entire  summer  making  music.   at  first,  link  only  thought  of  it  as  a  hobby...  since,  he  was  attending  his  first  year  of  university  that  fall.   but  after  playing  their  first  few  shows  and  making  all  these  memories,   he  couldn’t  keep  the  band  in  the  backburner.   he  dropped  out  not  too  long  after  to  pursue  his  music  career  full-time.   moved  out,  spent  the  next  few  months  working  long  shifts  at  the  local  amusement  park,  and  shared  one  two-bedroom  apartment  with  his  bandmates.    one  of  their  songs  went  viral  one  crazy  night,   and  the  next  thing  they  knew,  they  were  being  signed  into  a  record  label.   now  ?   they’re  one  of  the  biggest  alternative/indie  rock  bands  out  there  with  multiple  platinum  records,  sold  out  world  tours,  and  millions  of streams  each  year.   their  time  finally  came.

↳     THE  INSIDE  LOOK:    PERSONALITY.

link  definitely...  gets  babied  a  lot   (  by  his  bandmates  and  his  fans  ),   and  he  uses  that  to  his  advantage  :]   because  of  that  he  gets  away  with   a  lot  of  things,  but  it’s  usually  with  things  that  are  small  like  eating  the  last  slice  of  pizza  and  it  would  be  justified  with  “  no  he  is  a  growing  BOY  he  NEEDS  it  !  ”

that  being  said,  he  eats  nonstop.   the  guy  carries  a  sandwich  bag  full  of  cheerios  wherever  he  goes.   his  friends  know  that  if  they  can’t  finish  eating  something,  they  can  always  donate  it  to  link  for  a  good  cause.

when  my  chemical  romance  announced  their  reunion  tour  in  2019,  he  threw  his  phone  across  the  room  and  cried.   my  chemical  romance  (  with  green  day  and  linkin  park  as  a  close  second  !  )   are  his  all-time  favorite  bands,  and  a  lot  of  my  time’s  sound  is  heavily  inspired  by  them.

when  i  tell  u  that  this  man  is  so  chill,  i  mean  it.   like  things  could  LITERALLY  be  on  fire  and  he’d  be  like   “  just  throw  some  water  on  it  it’ll  be  fine  😎  ” ...  he’s  not  the  type  to  worry  about  things,  and  is  more  of  a  go  with  the  flow  type  of  person.   he  doesn’t  even  need  to  be  zooted  to  be  like  this.   KJFGDG

being  in  the  band  and  a  part  of  the  entertainment  industry  caused  a  small  shift  in  his  personality.   maybe  he  just  blossomed  ?   who  knows  !   but  because  he’s  been  exposed  to  the  rockstar  life,   he  was  able  to  open  up  more.   he’s  always  seeking  thrills,  big  or  small,  and  won’t  have  the  time  to  think  about  the  consequences  for  his  actions.  

because  the  my  chemical  romance  forum  that  was  once  his  second  home  shut  down,   he’s  since  moved  on  to  reddit.   social  media  isn’t  really  his  thing  (  and  his  fans  always  get  mad  at  him  for  posting  a  selfie  once  a  month  then  dipping  ),  but  catch  him  on  subreddits  making  comments  or  starting  fights  for  the  sheer  entertainment  of  proving  someone  wrong. 

this  might  sound  bad  but...  he  still  can’t  wrap  his  head  around  the  fact  that  he  isn’t  ?   financially  struggling  anymore  ?   even  if  he’s  already  bought  a  house  and  two  luxury  cars  for  his  dad,  he  still  gets  ticked  off  if  he  sees  something  small  like  an  APPLE   that  is  marked  a  dollar  and  a  few  cents  over  the  usual.   he  catches  himself  using  things  until  they’re  ABSOLUTELY  worn  out,  and  still  leeches  off  of  his  bandmates/friends  when  he  can.  <3   also,  if  something  is  broken,  he’ll  be  the  type  to  figure  it  out  and  fix  it  himself.

people...  don’t  exactly  remember  the  last  time  he’s  slept.   it  could  be  the  insomnia   (   it’s  definitely  insomnia,  thx  childhood   trauma  !   )  but  it’s  almost  gotten  to  the  point  where  he’s  afraid  to  fall  asleep  on  his  own.   he’ll  always  try  to  find  ways  to  sleep  in  someone’s  company,  even  if  it’s  just  him  crashing  on  a  couch  while  someone  is  watching  tv  right  there.   if  he’s  alone  though,  he’ll  always  try  to  find  ways  to  distract  himself  like  stream  for  10  hours  straight.

speaking  of  trauma...  he’s  also  scared  of  relationships.  after  witnessing  the  way  his  mother  treated  his  father,  he’s  cautious  of  history  repeating  itself...  but  with  him.  so  whenever  he  catches  himself  even  falling  for  just  a  little,  he  dips.

his  life  revolves  around  the  4  m’s:   marvel  movies,  minecraft,  music,  and  my  chemical  romance.   that’s  it.

a  link  😏   to  his  pinterest  !   also,  i  don’t  have  any  wcs,  but  if  we  plot,  i  promise  i’ll  use  my  big  brain  to  brainstorm  something  with  u.  <3

#wealthyhq:intro #the way i spent too much time writing this.................

[tiffgeorgina]

what did you think of the new episode???

OH LORD i had a lotttt of thoughts on this episode, understandably. CONTENT WARNING FOR DISCUSSIONS OF SUICIDE AT THE VERY BOTTOM OF THIS POST (it’s a long paragraph). also obviously spoiler warning for 2x08.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255

please reach out to somebody if you’re feeling distressed after this episode, or if you or a loved one is considering self harm or suicide. im always here if you need somebody to vent or talk to. i love you all and i would be devastated if anything happened to any of you. 

anyways, episode discussion below:

-first of all, the corgina scene at the very beginning was PRICELESS. tiff and corkie had it DOWN until tiff lost her cool. i was DYING. casey wilson invented the word “fuck.”

-marcus/dawn and connie/mo double date. this whole scene had me CACKLING. marcus being such a comrade was not at all what i expected. the three-on-one connie smackdown i could not BREATHE. also includes classic moments such as “we’re doing black shit right now keith” and regina stealing every scene she’s in. also WOMEN xosha roquemore (connie) in dark lipstick is the best part of s2 prove me wrong

-also kind of out of order but dawn calling mo her best friend did not sit right... like in my soul. it’s like inherently wrong. so STRANGE to hear her say that.

-but connie sucks at being subtle lmfao dawn was not having any of that 

-“i can’t vote. im a felon” just out of nowhere GOD. and the fact that that’s the first time dawn’s learning that mo went to prison is fucked up. i’ve never seen a woman want a man to shut up so badly, and i’ve never been so glad that said man did not shut up lmfao

-tiff and blair’s apartment looks so good yes god!! also this season keeps referencing blair’s parents and it’s kind of putting me on edge. especially since next episode is “blair [being] forced to revisit his past.” on another note, andrew’s voice in this scene is SO FUNNY. you can tell he’s a voice actor i think

-also like we knew blair was into older men but now we like know lmfao. the richard gere jokes had LAYERS these writers outsold

-ok blair&tiff’s relationship... yikes. i cannot tell what the writers want their relationship to be. are they unhealthy and toxic and bad to each other? or are they platonic soulmates and life partners? make up your MIND, showtime.

-DON’T INFANTILIZE THE CUP BYE KJDFHGDFKJ

-first blarris scene was TENSE. acting good

-the confirmation that roger has kids... i mean i suspected it from the moment tuc’s character was announced in september but it makes the ending so much more painful. i KNOW that’s the only reason why they pushed the fact that the harrises are parents in this episode, bc it was never confirmed earlier.

-i hate how funny michael hitchcock is. im trying to hate newell but im laughing. why are his lines so funny who wrote this. 

-the sound design in this episode was a lot to take in. the music was intense asf and it stays intense throughout the whole ep

-keith cracking onto blair and trying to reconcile with him bc he’s feeling empathetic but blair shutting him down... can’t say keith doesn’t deserve it but i would’ve loved to have seen keith and blair just talk about being closeted and having affairs and shit.

-THE TRUMP CHILDREN LMFAOOOO they all look so smug the casting was great this ep

-mo shit talking connie TO HER FACE bc he knows connie can’t give up the act... fucking priceless i love to see it acab

-dawnroe physical contact hhhhh can you tell im rewatching this ep as i type this

-the wording on the “you’re with the FBI?” line is so perfect. bc it makes it totally sound like dawn’s onto mo and connie when really she’s just like “you’re siding with the FBI bitch?” highkey genius line

-posted this too early by accident oops. im still editing im not done yet lmfao

-MARCUS MO AND DAWN SAID ACAB FUCK YES

-ROGER GRABBING BLAIR’S HAND I AM ASCENDING. i knew about the hand holding scene there but i didn’t think roger would initiate it <3

-roger nearly kissing blair :’/

-LORD the trump children are little shits god

-daddy says it makes me look hot. you mean cute? ...no.

-oh GOD not this blarris scene. i like to believe that a gay person generally wouldn’t threaten to out another gay person on principle, but blair has shown how shitty of a person he's become all season. i hate it and it’s still ooc but i’ve seen worse on this show tbh.

-roger’s got a point, if he supports his campaign fund manager right off the bat, he’ll look like a total fraud and his career will be over. the fact that blair barely gives a shit really speaks to what his character has become. “fuck them” what a classic line

-ANDREW’S ACTING!!! his voice when he says “you use me” ugh i felt that in my chest. plus roger looking away after he says that... i mean god this cast is so talented

-blair snapping god. he’s got a point, he and roger have been dysfunctional asf all season. doesn’t justify threatening to out somebody AT ALL but finally hearing some emotion out of blair, a little bit of anger and frustration, it’s refreshing.

-does “who are you, blair?” count as a parallel to “who are you, pfaff?” from 1x01?

-blair outing roger to newell... yikes. again ooc and bad. blair’s a shitty guy but we’ve seen him have empathy before, even in s2. why would they make him do this i don’t get it.

-keith finding out about lenny is good. maybe something will finally come of this arc?

-parallel to 2x02 with blair mentioning his mom’s phrase, cool. probably gearing us up for more references to his parents next ep, culminating in a flashback to his childhood in 2x10.

-this scene where the trump kids are destroying everything is classic. you can genuinely tell that everybody there was having so much fun shooting that. idk, it’s nice.

-trump reveal HA what a great end to that scene

-keith coming by and fucking everything up... i mean i guess everybody KNOWS now. dawn/marcus is over (good) and dawn is probably right pissed at mo rn. but hey, fuck em all resurgence!!! ive been waiting for it and now it’s here!

-im scared, what’s connie gonna do? fuck cops

-“that’s a long way to go just to get a dig in” “it was a stretch but-” see what happens when you’re a narc? you lose your wit :/ sad! nice exit line from connie tho

-CW SUICIDE MENTION. ok time to talk about what definitely needs to be talked about. god this has had my chest hurting all day yesterday. i knew blarris would be outed eventually bc sho likes to milk every plot point for every bit of drama they can get out of it, but i did not expect roger to take his life. and blair finding him is just devastating. i said this on twt, but the fact that somebody could be so overwhelmed with internalized homophobia that being outed could cause them to commit suicide is so incredibly and deeply sad to me. i’ve been crying for a while over that fact. 

im just. im really sad. i’ve connected so much with these characters over the past two-ish years and this is such a devastating turn of events. i have no words. it isn’t bad writing or ooc by any means, it’s just so extremely and incredibly sad. there are probably thousands of people who have been in roger’s exact position before, and the realism really hits me hard. i can’t put into words how overwhelming sad this makes me. 

also pretty upset that this came as a COMPLETE shock to me and all my friends. we all watched on the sho streaming service, which did not have the “viewer discretion advised” card before the ep. the premier did, but the episode on the app did not. i really REALLY wish they had added that before i had seen the episode so i could prepare myself, even if just slightly. also wish they had added a suicide hotline number at the end. 

seeing blair grieve his loss is going to hurt but it’s probably going to give us closure too. i think about this show all the time, and now thinking about it makes me so overwhelmingly sad. i sound dramatic but this show has been with me for so long. not being able to see much of blair’s reaction beside the initial shock has been haunting me. im so scared for what the future episodes are going to bring.

thank you for reading, i love you all <3

#suicide ment // #suicide #black monday #shoblackmonday #andrew rannells #slander #meta analysis #open mic night #anonymous

[sarcastically-defensive17]

OMG, so I had this idea like Luke x reader where they're not public but Cal, Ash and Mike don't like her (probably bc Luke has been hurt so many times) buuut they individualy come around bc they saw like some cute moments of reader being supportive, or taking care of Luke, or being total badass and like they come around and she meets Liz and Liz is like totally happy with how smitten Luke is and well they just have this fluffy moment Pretty please 👀

Perfect - L. Hemmings

Okay so, I was happy with this but then I didn’t know how to end it so IM SORRY IF IT IS BAD. THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT! ITS ALSO SHORT SO IM SORRY FOR THAT! IM NERVOUS TO POST BAHAHAHA

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

It was something out of the ordinary for Ashton, Calum and Michael to not give somebody a chance: so it infuriates Luke to not extent as they deliberately made efforts to avoid Y/N at all costs.

The three men were the kindest people he knew, so he couldn’t fathom why they chose to make his new girlfriend feel less welcome than she already did.

Y/N tried to ignore the cold shoulders she received, knowing it was their way of trying to protect Luke. His past few relationships had resulted in him getting hurt so badly that he was scared to give it another chance.

Until she came along.

It was hard, in his line of work to find somebody who didn’t want him for his fame or his money, but he practically struck gold when he met Y/N, who was so deep in her rock and roll love that she had never heard of a band from Australia named 5 Seconds of Summer.

It was quite a shock when, after a few dates, she found his almost decade long music career listen in black, white and every Colour of Michael Cliffords hair online.

They were now onto their fifth month of dating.

It took the a while to bring the guys around. Calum found comfort in his friends relationship when he witnessed Y/N going into complete nurse mode, and having so much patience while Luke experiences the dreaded man-flu.

He was always one for the drama.

Ashton got close to the woman when he visited Luke at his house during a long writing process. Everybody knew that when Luke was writing, he would go days without proper sleep and not take care of himself, so Ashton, ever the doting friend, intended to bring him coffee and food to make sure he was getting nutrition.

He didn’t expect to walk in on the two of them playing some of their old songs. He learned a lot about Y/N that day, including the fact that she can definitely keep up with him on the drums.

Michael was by far the hardest to bring around. He had been the one to set Luke up with his last girlfriend, who ultimately broke his heart after months of emotional manipulation, so he was hesitant about getting involved in any way with another relationship of Luke’s, out of pure guilt.

It took many stressful weeks and a very intense tournament of Super Smash Bros. but Y/N eventually earned both her victory and a boatload of respect from Michael Clifford. Although, that was built majorly after a tweet surfaced of Y/N defended both the band and Michael’s fiancé from hateful trolls under the guise as a fan. Her and Luke were keeping their relationship out of the public eye for now.

That proved she cared about Luke, but also about his friends. And she was a badass at video games.

The next person to meet, was the most terrifying for Y/N.

She stood by Luke’s side outside of the modestly sized house. The shutters curtains inside were drawn open, and from the outside she could see two people bustling about.

“You okay?” Luke’s blue eyes bored down at hers, concern creating a thick film over the icy colour.

She breathed in through her nose for a minute, breathing out a sigh and smoothing her hands over her black dress, “Just peachy,” her smile was tight and nervous. “Trying to make sure I don’t ruin my chances to get your parents to like me.”

Luke laughed loudly, and she shushed him immediately to increase the tune before they were to enter.

“You’re worries my parents won’t like you? They like everybody!”

“That’s what you said about the guy,” she mumbled, thinking back on the numerous times Luke had promised her the three would like her, and the amount of time she spent trying to win them over. “I’m just nervous, sorry.”

He laced his fingers with her, pressing a kiss to her knuckles, “I’ll be right by your side, my love.”

She flushed at his words, taking a deep breath and pressing her finger to the button. A bell chime sounded, and moments after an older blonde woman was pulling Luke into a hug and pressing kisses to his cheeks.

Y/N found herself smiling at the contact.

The blonde woman turned to her, a wide smile on her face that matched Luke’s. He got a lot of his looks from his mother, that was for sure.

“And you must be the girl who has my baby so smitten,” she pulled Y/N into a crushing hug. “He hardly shuts up about you. It’s so nice to finally put a person to the pictures he sent me!”

She flushed at the comment, shooting Luke a look over his mothers shoulder to which he flashed a cheeky grin.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Mrs Hemmings,” Y/N matched the smile on the hemmings’ faces, feeling happiness wash off of the pair.

“Please, it’s Liz to you,” she pointed at the woman teasingly. “Come on, dinner is almost ready and Andy is fussing with the tellie.”

She was guided through the door by Liz, Luke being left to follow behind them. She was pulled over to an older man who had the same eyes as Luke.

He brightened up at the sight of his son and their guest, “Oh, somebody dragged the Giraffe in. And you must be Y/N.”

She was offered a hand to shake, and she completed a gesture with a smile at his comment about Luke.

“Nice to meet you,” she beamed.

Her nerves were building on the surface as they sat through dinner.

Liz couldn’t help but notice the glances her son would sneak at his beau, and her heart swelled at the sight of him so happy.

She told Luke to excuse himself to clean the dishes with his father, and after slight protest from the two men they conceded, leaving Y/N and Liz alone.

It was quiet for a beat, Y/N not knowing whether to start a conversation or wait for Liz to speak. The older woman made the decision for her.

“You make him so happy.”

Y/N raised her eyebrows, mouth dropping slightly at the emission, “Uh, I do? I mean-“

Liz chuckled placing a hand on her arm to calm the woman’s nerves.

“Honey, Luke doesn’t bring just anybody round to meet us. We’ve only met one of his girlfriends before you, so you must mean a lot to him,” she winked, her blonde hair falling onto her shoulders as she rubbed the woman’s arm.

“Really?” Y/N couldn’t believe the confession. Surely Luke had done this before, it doesn’t mean he values her anymore than he did the other girls.

“I’m serious, Y/N.” Her face holds a smile, but her eyes shout nothing but truth. “I can see it in the way he looks at you. I think my baby boy is in love,” she whispers the last bit, shooting a sly glance towards the kitchen where Luke is with Andy.

Y/N flushes and turns her gaze down to her hands on the table, “I can’t deny that I feel the same way about him.”

Liz erupts into a wide grin, pulling the woman into a hug before she has the chance to realize.

A throat clears in the entry to the dining room, and they turn to see the Hemmings men watching the scene with raised brows. They look so similar that it brings a lopsided smile to Y/n’s face.

“Everything alright?” Luke asks, leaning over to kiss Y/N’s forehead and take his seat next to her.

“Everything is fine, isn’t it, dear?” Liz smirks, watching the way the two hold each other close.

“Everything is just perfect,” Y/N rests her head on her lovers shoulder, smiling at the woman in the room.

#luke hemmings #5sos #ashton irwin #calum hood #michael clifford #luke hemmings x reader #5 seconds of summer #requested

[fandomobsessedwriter]

That is how

ok never written a series before, i hope i do my idea justice. also no hate against danneel, in this she died a few years ago. also i do not know the extent of a four year olds vocabuary 

you had lived in texas for a few years with your best friend,who younow lived with, if you asked any one who knew you they would all say that you moved here to help with your career but really it was because you were fed up with waiting ages to watch your tv shows were in america it comes out early. 

you had walked about twenty minutes to get to the shop it was a nice shop, big, quite, cool, for some reason you really enjoyed walking around the shop, you had a basketful of shopping, you had reached the end of your playlist so but didnt bother to restart it, walking at the ends of all the isles that when you heard it “your not my dad”, it looked like a stropping kid and their parent but that comment proved otherwise.

 you walk up to them and kneel down to the kid and pull him into a hug and say “there you are buddy, ive been looking everywhere for you” you pick him up and hold him to your hip, “thank you sir, i was hoping someone was taking him to the front ofiice” you pull you phone from  your back pocket and smile at the sick man before taking a very dashing picture of him and leaning in close “leave now or i will call the police for trying to kidnap a kid in a public place” he turns and walks away muttering under his breath.

you put the kid down and ask if he was ok, he nods, “stay here, do not move until i come back” you tell the kid and rush after the man who was just leaving the shop, you dont go up to the man but you do take a picture of his number plate. you go back up to the kid who hadnt moved an inch since you left him. you kneel down once again “ wheres your parent?” he just shrugs his shoulders “ok, do you want  me to help you find them?” all he said was “im not allowed to leave with strangers” damn, who ever taught the kid this stuff is a good parent.

“ok, im y/n, i will not make you go any where with me but i do not want to leave you on your own, is that ok?” 

“im zepplin, and i wanna find dad” zepplin, thats quite a unique name, where have i heard it before?

he picks your hand up and pulls you along each isle to find his dad, he stops and shakes his little legs “do you want to sit on my shoulders, so you can see your dad easier” he opens his arms to you.

you walk around a few more isles before zepplin  points to a tall man facing the other way to you put him down so he  can rush over to his dad, you follow the kid just to make sure it is actually his dad. the man spins round and you get a glimpse of the mans face, you freeze, you know where you had heard the name before, zepplin was jensen ackles son, you had helped jensen ackles son, jensen turns to you and smiles.

-------

ok since it was it was my birthday yesterday i was feeling nice so i wrote this today instead three weeks from now, if i get enough notes and stuff i might start to use a schedule but ill probably write when i want to so i hope you enjoyed. x 

#jensen x reader #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles imagine #jensen ackles x y/n #that is how

[daily-rubbersoul-redux]

who hurt you man? Like, mentally, we know who attacked you physically. Did you get bullied? Made fun of? Who are the other people you're trying to prove yourself to? baseball boy?

ok so i know this ask was sent yknow for a character response, but as it’s very hard to write in character for the issue im trying to without making it seem like an outside issue (which it kind of is, but thats not the core of the problem) i’m just gonna explain it here bc it’s something i struggled with alot in late middle school and early highschool.

the real problem is completely self inflicted.  not consciously, of course but... its setting unrealistic expectations for yourself, and it can impact people’s mindsets and actions alot, especially if they are suddenly underperforming those expectations due to things out of their control.

(putting then rest under a cut bc it gets kinda personal, and while i know other people have been through much worse it still is something that hurt me for a while)

and sometimes little harmless comments made by friends or parents can make you feel as if you arent good enough, even if there wasnt any malicious intent there.  it’s something that hit me especially hard when i transitioned from 8th grade to 9th, as most of my schooling prior to highschool i didnt need to but in much effort to excel.  but, from 9th grade onwards i was in what i like to call nerd school (tldr ive been in college since 10th grade, which hasnt really helped the situtation but also has alot? idk man it’s wack).  and like.... i wasnt the best anymore, i would get grades lower than some of my friends, but like it was ok i was still getting all a’s.  until i got like 3 b’s second semester, and like... i felt like a failure honestly.  my mom wasnt mad at me or anything, just kinda disapointed, but I internalized that as me being a failure to her and not good enough.  now, my mom isnt very strict about my education.  I get away with so much procrastination, its not even funny.  really all she cares about is me getting a good education and a good job, since she never was able to get her degree and has stuggled with finding work recently because of that (even though she has nearly 40 years experience, but i digress).  but sometimes the comments she made, whether they be about what i wanted to do as a career (which i didnt know at the time) or how i spent my time mostly drawing or gaming, they just... got blown out of proportion in my mind.  i felt like i wasnt good enough, like i was worthless, which wasnt fun considering i had just come out of the mental hellscape that was my 8th grade year (tldr i was borderline depressed, had to go to therapy, and lost any and all social skills i had built up my whole life. not fun.).  as of now, i realize that setting unrealistic expectations for myself is well.... dumb.  but it does happen, and the tiniest things can make it so so much worse.  

so yeah, basically tldr: setting unrealistic expectations because of the praise you recive can make you fall into a really bad headspace when you inevitably start underperforming or get outshone, but your mind will always warp it to not be your fault, but the fault of those who make little insignificant comments about your performance.  and that is what nathan is struggling with.

#ill tag this if anyone wants me too #the cut should be good enough tho i hope? #[thank you] answers #[behind the screen] mod #i am doing better now tho lol

[theakims]

read   all   about  thea   kim,   otherwise   affectionately   nicknamed   thespian.   the   twenty-four year old   actress   is   widely   known   for  being   meticulous,  resourceful,   impulsive,  and self-destructive,   and   recently   made   headlines   when   they   allegedly drove straight into a restaurant while on vacation .   apparently   judas   claims   to   be   sitting   on   an   even   bigger   story   involving   them   -   whatever   the   truth   may   be,   i’m   sure   it   won’t   stay   hidden   for   long.   &   satin sheets,  pink retro vehicles,  & drunken, late night tears  ◜   ⭒ 

hoWDY IM ELS & this is literally the most my brain can muster up rn but hmu for plots <3 or like this and i will hit U UP on here or on discord // my discord is also LCE#4385 so uhhhh yea c: 

born and raised in manhattan, ny. her mother is a prominent socialite and philanthropist with her own foundation. her father is a cfo of a pharmaceutical company while also being a co-owner of a chain of high end restaurants around the world with most locations in the us. 

always loved performing and got her parents to get her an agent and try things out && she ended up getting casted in a cable tv show that ran for like 9 years she’s been in a few movies lately but really wants to get back into television - desperately wants to be in like a comedy sitcom or a drama to prove that she has range (sophie turner career claim)

every time she does press junkets she likes to look at whichever costar she’s interviewing with as if she’s in Love just to fuk w the audience and get more buzz going

her parents have always been really loving but also really unobservant since they were always somewhat distracted w their own image. given the lack of supervision and general constant approval from her parents, she always felt invincible - like she could do anything and get away with it. which wasn’t entirely untrue. 

the rumor is true. on a trip with some friends right after highschool, she had just gotten her license and everyone was being rowdy and she forgot to put the car in reverse and just full sent it forward. luckily, no one was hurt and she wasn’t the one who had been drinking so it didn’t go past paying damages but her mother did her best to keep it from the public 

gets lonely really easily, growing up an only child she relied on making friends in order to have some sort of support system and to feel like she wasn’t completely alone. so if she’s not working, she’s either bugging her friends. tbh only ever at her apartment at night to sleep.

really disconnected from reality half the time - think of lucille bluth “it’s one banana. how much could it cost? $10?”

the type of person to run away during conflict - outta sight, outta mind is what she says so she’s rlly bad at taking responsibility for her shit so she can’t take anything seriously 

not big on social media - will post about once every 2 or 3 months mostly just to promote whatever project she’s working on

has 2 tattoos, one on her arm and a lip tattoo. the lip tattoo says FUCK & the tattoo on her arm is a teddy bear in space 

#cross.intro

[for-ests]

Well, even though I’m already getting ready for Xmas, we can’t ignore thanksgiving. How bout a piece on Tom meeting the whole family on this day but it’s a chaotic mess because holidays can just bring out the best or worst in us. Maybe that’s just my family. Anyways, happy writing! 🦃

Thanks for the request babes :-) I hope this is what you had in mind (I vaguely say aunts, siblings, cousins, so the reader is able to imagine however many they have) enjoy!! ❤️

Word count: 2,145

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Even though you had been dating Tom for eight months, the two of you had never spent the holidays together. You had met at the most imperfect time, in late February.

Though you didn’t want to admit it, what unfolded tonight at your family’s Thanksgiving dinner would determine how you would continue on with your relationship. Your family was incredibly Important to you, and their opinion on your boyfriend was just as significant.

Despite the pressure that weighed on you and Tom’s shoulders, you were calm and collected. You were almost positive that they were going to love him as much as you had grown to.

Tom though, understandably, was a nervous wreck.

“Ughhh they’re gonna hate me.” He whispered, crossing his arms in a childish manner, mimicking one in a way that was intended to make you laugh. You chuckled loudly from the driver’s seat, trying to not keep your eyes off the road for more than a second.

“I think the fact that you have a British accent is enough to make my family like you.” You teased, reaching across the armrest and setting a comforting hand on his thigh. He relaxed immediately as you continued.

“We’ve talked about my past relationships before. But I’ve brought worse boys home, you being a decent human being is most definitely enough.”

“I know I know.” He mumbled, setting his hand over yours. “I just want it to be more than that. I’m here to prove myself whether you feel like that’s what’s gonna happen.”

“Yeah, totally.” You quipped, a bit flattered that he was so anxious to meet your parents and siblings. A guy had never shown this much interest in you before, yet alone your family.

“I can see you trying not to smile.” He teased.

Breaking into a smile, you shook your head, purposefully turning farther to the opposite side. Tom always did this, and you smiled every single time.

“Shush up and let me focus on the road”

Whatever your boyfriend said next faded into the background, and he soon turned his attention to his cell phone.

It had been months since you’d been to your hometown, and you were anxious to see it again. You were a well known actor like Tom, and that had kept you in many unfamiliar places surrounded by unfamiliar people. Coming back to your roots on such an important family holiday was what you had been waiting for. To see the people you loved again, and to introduce someone special to them.

Though your hometown was smaller, and not entirely significant, you were proud to be from the area. It was lively and decorated, the landscape stretching on for miles with rolling hills and hundreds of trees.

Your house was placed in a tight knit family friendly area. And as you drove closer, the aspects of your beloved neighborhood and town had become distinct, even the familiar layouts of the back roads put a smile on your face.

You breathed a sigh of relief. Nostalgia was a killer, and you were excited to show Tom around the town you held so close to your heart.

“Here we are.” You turned onto the block, and pulled into the driveway.

Tom tucked his phone away and focused his attention on what lay before him. “It’s lovely.” He smiled, pointing to a window on the second floor. “I bet that used to be your room.”

“Correct.” You tried not to giggle like the little girl you used to be. Unbuckling, you leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek.

As you pulled away, Tom was staring intensely. One look at you, and his nerves seemed to fade. You were so happy to bring him back. He loved to see you fulfilled, and loved that he was part of that reason.

Without another word, the two of you gathered your bags and made your way up to the front porch. The smell of holiday scented candles was the first thing you noticed when you opened the door. You could hear the afternoon football game playing from the living room loudly, and the bustling of your mother in the kitchen.

But before you stepped over the threshold into your warmly lit home, you leaned over and purred into Tom’s ear. “If you behave, you’re in for treat tonight.”

Tom snorted, nudging you away. “Shut up, I haffta focus.”

You kissed him again, but this time it was fully on the lips. You winked before screaming, “IM HOME!”

Then it was madness. Your family flooded to the front door, taking your bags so they could embrace you for the first time in months. It felt so good to be back, it was almost as if you had never moved out. Everything was the same, everything was familiar.

Introductions ensued. Cooing from your mother, going on and on about how handsome he was, though you had already shown her pictures. (She had seen all his movies already, but she would never admit that.)

A brooding stare from your father- which soon turned into a firm handshake. Your father didn’t really care who walked through the door, as long as they would watch sports with him. Tom definitely had some homework.

And your younger siblings of course, they had been waiting to meet Spider-Man since the moment you told them you were dating a superhero. They poked and prodded him, asking if he could play with them later and give they battle strategy tips.

It was all coming together, and thank God you arrived over an hour earlier than you had intended, so you could find some peace before the storm. Tom was unprepared for the mayhem that was about to ensue when suburban women had to prepare a Thanksgiving dinner.

Though you weren’t prepared for it, you were grateful. You were happy, watching him smile, his eyes twinkle, the corners of his eyes crinkling when your mother showed genuine interest in his career and experiences.

You were sentimental, wishing you could have spent a portion of your childhood with Tom, something that could have developed into an epic love story, one that stretched across decades. Your families would have already been close, before the fame. But when you thought harder about it, you were satisfied with what you had. You were incredibly smitten with Tom, and by the effort he was putting forth, he was equally smitten with you.

Tom had never been to the suburbs, so this trip was equivalent to a vacation for him. Which you found strange, given the fact that it was the fucking suburbs– but you didnt want to ruin his fun.

And ruined it was, or so that’s what it seemed like as your mother screamed at the top of her lungs for your younger siblings to leave the kitchen. You were by her side, also in an apron, trying to carve the turkey as best as you could while your mother mashed potatoes like she had never mashed them before.

“When are the aunties coming?” You squirmed and ripped another chunk of meat off the turkey bones, tossing them into a glass bowl.

“On their way.” Your mom said breathlessly, finishing the mashed potatoes and focusing on stirring the gravy. She then ordered you to crack open a few cans of cranberry sauce.

“Will we be done in time?” You glanced to the oven that had biscuits baking in it.

“Yes. Your grandmother is bringing doubled eggs and relish plates. Your aunt is bringing…” she trailed off as her attention was turned to the stuffing that had yet to be loaded into a plate. Unfortunately, your mom had fallen behind schedule this year and had to cook everything in the last couple hours. Part of that reason was because she was distracted with your arrival. It was a mess, but it was all coming together. With your help of course.

“Is there anything I can help with, Mrs. L/N?” Tom peaked his head around the corner at the commotion. You knew he had been distracted with a long friendly lecture from your father.

Your mother didn’t seem to hear him, as her train of thought was interrupted by the oven beeping. The biscuits were done.

She breathed a sigh of relief, and turned the oven off. Everything was finally cooked, and still piping hot for all the family to enjoy. Yet your mother still seemed anxious. But that was just how she was, every single year.

“You’re the guest, Tom.” You smiled. “And everything is done.”

He gave you two thumbs up, flashing a cheshire grin. Surprisingly, he seemed over the moon, probably excited for the food that was lying in front of him. It was aromatic, and your stomach started to grumble.

“Can I at least help set up?” He asked, guilt flashing across his face. Tom was one of those people that hated to sit around and watch everyone else take part in activities, even if it was as simple as setting up the dinner table. ‘Let me do something’ He mouthed, practically pleading with his eyes.

Your father made his way into the room, but before he could say anything, your mother piped up, back still turned away from the three of you.

Your mother chuckled. “Oh sweetie, guests don’t help set the table.” She walked past him, picking up the carved turkey and setting it gracefully in the center of the elongated wooden table.

“Guests?” You father chortled, clapping Tom on the back. “He’s practically family now.”

Your father’s eyes met your for a moment, and you were pleased to find his statement was genuine. Your heart fluttered, forever grateful that your parents seemed to approve of him. That was a first.

“Oops!” Your mother laughed. “You’re right, honey.” She walked past Tom and guestered for him to follow. “Grab whatever you’d like and bring it over then.” Normally, she would have made a joke, but you could tell she was tired, and wanted to eat.

Snorting, you shook your head. You knew she was trying extra hard to impress Tom. Like you, she had been waiting for another man in the family to spoil. Nodding towards the biscuits, Tom gained the hint that you wanted him to snatch something else to help set up.

That was the calm before the storm. The hustling and bustling of dishes signaled to your siblings and cousins that it was time to eat. They practically ran into the kitchen, a whirlwind of thank you’s in their paths. Taking advantage of that opportunity, your mother started handing them dishes to set on the table.

And before you and Tom knew it, there was nothing left to place on the table.

Setting the biscuits sheepishly on the edge of the table, and handing a few to your cousins at the kiddie bench, he rounded back to your side.

“I feel worthless.” He whispered in your ear, knowing it was a light-hearted joke.

“It’s fine babe, next time.” You left a light kiss on his cheek.

The two of you started to make your way to the table, unable to ignore the grumbling in your stomachs. You had purposefully told Tom not to eat a single thing before the gigantic meal. You had also advised that it was more than welcomed to take seconds, thirds, and even fourths.

And then, as if on cue, the front door violently swung open, and in hurried your aunts and grandparents. “Oofta, traffic was a killer.” You heard you grandmother’s voice complain loudly from the front entrance. A chilling breeze followed, refreshing in the warmly lit atmosphere.

You turned and saw your grandfather balancing at least four pumpkin pies in his hands. Tom rushes forward to help, and you followed suit.

“OH MY GOSH IT’S Y/N’S BOYFRIEND!” Your rambunctious aunt seemed to yell at the top of her lungs when she spotted the stranger.

Tom’s eyebrows raised in amusement.

“Be prepared for kisses.” You warned, smiling from ear to ear, knowing he had already been warned of their excessive amounts of affection.

It was going to be an incredibly wild night. One that you and Tom would remember for years to come.

#tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland fluff #tom holland #tom holland fanfic