#it was so fucking peaceful before and now i just. can't sleep. can barely read. can't shower.

[anaalnathrakhs]

also not to add another slice to the depression sandwich when i'm clearly not the victim in this situation, but i can't help but replaying the little hurtful moments lately. stuff like paying attention and comissionning an artist to give my mom a birthday gift she'll love, and in return she gives her disordered kid who hates gifts (both facts she knows) chocolate for easter. my teacher who said some months ago when she was trying to subtly hint that she definitely knew about the restriction, something like "where has my little [irl name] who tried the common room snacks with me gone?", when at the time i tried the common room snacks i was also puking in the school bathroom like every other day. because none of these problems are new. yay.

#i can't help but feel kinda... tricked. by what people said to me and did trying to ''fix'' my restriction #cool so. i'm a worse person both to other people and to myself. #it was so fucking peaceful before and now i just. can't sleep. can barely read. can't shower. #i gained weight im still an ugly fuck but now im socially acceptable to make fun of and also not visibly mentally ill anymore #i've been basically encouraged to eat further than what i'm comfortable with. eat as other people do. give in to the fomo every time. #and like. i know i'm responsible for my own actions i know that someone giving me bad advice doesn't binds me to follow it #but when it comes from my own parents. when my friends clearly look at me weird when i dont eat. etc #it's also just scary not to give in #anyway yeah system's broken and my situation is nobody's fault but mine #i'll figure something out #broadcasting my misery #vent #ed tw

[bountycancelled]

(un)secret admirer

luke castellan x child of aphrodite!reader

tip me on kofi, if you feel so inclined

requested: nope, I'm just currently obsessing over pjo (aren't we all?) and Charlie bushnell is my pookie so luke is also my pookie (what about all the people he murdered– what murdaaaa?!)

warnings: none I believe!

content: probably ooc luke becusse I haven't read the books, I don't know if demigods even nap, I don't remember the movies and he's barely in the show lol, some cuddling, lowercase intended because fuck grammar, also I know demi gods are dyslexic i just dont gaf because i thought this concept was cute, that's all!

a/n: SEND ME PJO REQS! please. also this is short and I'm sorry, I've been having horrid writers block.

"I don't get what the big deal is." Lukes voice could be heard from where he sat on your bed, as you gazed at the piece of paper in your hand, pacing back and forth in your room as you analysed its every minute detail to the best of your abilities. "you get letters from the other campers all the time."

"I already told you Luke. this handwriting isn't the same as any other letter I've gotten, so that means it's from someone who's never sent me a note before, and I need to know who it is."

you had recieved a myriad of letters ranging from 'I think you're pretty' to 'I would sacrifice my right arm just to get a hug from you' during your time here at camp. beyond being drop dead gorgeous, you were kind, always wearing a charming smile on your face, and having the ability to comfort people with your presence alone.

that (coupled with the facts that most kids here had some kind of parental baggage and your kindness definitely filled some kind of void) meant that you recieved many a words from not so secret admirers. you were sure that you knew the identities of the people who had given you sealed envelopes and tightly folded papers, but you were currently stumped.

you were startled out of your staring contest with the scribbled ink by the feeling of Lukes arms around your shoulders as he spoke. "I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually, now can you please come back to bed? you know that I can't nap if you're not with me."

you sighed, letting him lead you back to your bed so that he could rest before you two inevitable of the two of you needing to help around the camp occured. you stared up at the ceiling as he slowly started to dose off beside you, before you gasped and shot up, effectively spooking him out of a peaceful moment.

"it's Percy!" you shushed Luke before he had the chance to complain about your sudden exclamation or the fact that you weren't letting him get a wink of midday sleep. "I mean, he's just met me, and one of my friends probably told him some stuff about me–"

"it's not Percy." Luke deadpanned, pushing you down by the shoulder from the upright postpone you were sat in to make you lay back down, and wrapping his arm around your waist. you were shocked into silence, because although Luke was an affectionate friend, he had never cuddled you while he was still awake. he would always wake up and discovering that he had wrapped around you in his sleeping state, apologising sheepishly while retracting his limbs.

after a few moments of stunned silence, you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion at his statement. "and how do you know it's not him, huh?" he simply blew air from his nose, tightening his grip around your waist.

"because it was me, sweetheart."

now that shut you up fairly quickly, as you bit your lip to try to hinder the giddy smile that wanted to form on your features. you opened your mouth to speak again, only to be interrupted by Luke placing a small kiss on the back of your neck.

"we'll talk when we wake up, alright?" but you weren't having any of that. "okay... but, before you go to bed. how long have you liked me? is this actually the first letter you've sent? why wouldn't you just tell me, you idiot. obviously I like you too. I know you said some stuff that you like about me in the letter, but I want you to tell me about everything you like about me, like every feature, every trait-"

Luke chuckled, sporting a big grin as you spoke. he would tell you all of that and more, he would do anything you asked of him, just as long as he got to hold you in his arms just like this.

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy series #pjo tv show #pjo x reader #pjo x you #luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan x you #luke castellan angst #luke castellan apologist #luke castellan fluff #luke castellan fic #luke castellan fanfiction #luke castellan pjo #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan blurb #luke castellan x fem!reader

[kokofromwattpad]

CUDDLES

Featuring: Dorm leaders

Plot: The way how different twst characters sleep with and without you and their sleeping habits.

Cw: fluff, spooning(Riddle and Vil), snoring (Leona and Azul), mentions of boobs (Kalim), drool (idia)

Note: You can obviously tell who my favorite is.

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS:

Before you:

He sleeps like a old man. Like, fingers crossed over his stomach, or he sleeps like a corpse. He is very silent when he is sleeping only letting out very soft breaths.

With you:

Riddle is either sleeping fetal position into your arms or being spooned. I feel like after having an extremely long day, all he wants to do is be held.

Without you:

He has zero clue what to do with his hands. So all he does is take one of his pillows and cuddles with that. Sometimes he gets mad just as he is about to fall asleep and just chucks the pillow across the room.

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR:

Before you:

He snores like a dad. Like, you know you sometimes when your dad is busy snoring and then he chokes on his own saliva mid snore... yea... thats Leona. Also he sleeps like a hot mess. Half of his body is off the bed and the other is barely hanging on.

With you:

Living blanket. Like, he just lays his entire body weight on top of you like a blanket. At first it felt like attempted murder, but after a while you got used to it and now you can't fall asleep without weight on top of you.

Without you:

He twists his blankets into a long noodle so that it (kinda) feels like he's cuddling you. Also, his tail is swishing the same way an angry cat does the entire time he is sleeping.

AZUL ASHENGROTTO:

Before you:

Completely normal. Maybe a hand under the pillow(?) Snores. The tweels used to make fun of him for that when they were kids but got used to it eventually.

With you:

Koala mode: activated. His legs are twisted through your legs and arms attached to your torso like superglue. He nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck and sometimes even leaves little kisses there.

Without you:

He refuses to sleep without you. Period. He got so used to sleep with you in his arms that it has become a condition for him to sleep. He will either stay in his office, busy with paperwork, studying for an upcoming test or reading a book you recommended him in his bed.

KALIM AL-ASIM:

Before you:

I headcannon that he sleeps fetal position. But like, on his stomach. His face is smashed into the pillow, which causes bedhead and he becomes scarily still (Jamil sometimes comes in and checks if he's still alive.)

With you:

He does not give a shit if you have tiddies or not, he is shoving his face into your chest like it's no-one's business. You have never slept so damn good until the day you started sleeping with Kalim in his fucking king sized bed made from swan feathers or something close to it.

Without you:

Tosses and turns, ruining the sheets and making it dirty. He usually gets up and starts pacing the room, trying to tire himself out, but failing miserably. Kind of just lays there.

VIL SCHOENHEIT:

Before you:

Looks like a fucking angel. His hair perfectly frames his head and he just looks so damn peaceful. I bet he listens to nature sounds whenever he can't sleep since him losing sleep is a big no-no.

With you:

He likes to spoon. He only big spoons, if not, then he's pushing you (affectionately♡) off the bed. He has gotten accustomed to your light snoring, kind of using it like a non-verbal lullaby.

Without you:

Can sleep, but not as nicely as when you do. Kind of turns a bit, but he does fall asleep normally. Gets a sad gut feeling whenever he wakes up without you next to him.

IDIA SHROUD:

Before you:

Probably never sleep willingly. He probably would just pass out from exhaustion ever once-in-awhile. But when he does sleep, he drools like a fucking dog. Like, entire pillow case damp from his drool. He has gained mild control over this, but is still considered a problem.

With you:

He wants to cuddle like how anime couples do. He specifically likes it when you sleep on his chest, your weight feeling the same as when a cat lays on him. He also gained a condition in order to fall asleep. He must stroke your hair gently while you mutter in your half-asleep state on how much you love and adore him.

Without you:

After he started dating you, he finally decided to get a better sleep schedule so he could spend more time with you, rather than being passed out, looking half dead. So he got a plain body pillow (He didn't get a cover as he thought it would be a betrayal of your trust) He cuddles the body pillow the same way he does to you.

MALLEUS DRACONIA:

Before you:

He slept the same way as Riddle, like a corpse. He is completely silent and does not move at all in his sleep.

With you:

He became absolutely addicted to cuddling once you introduced it to him. He would shove you into his chest, kind of like the two of you were hugging, but he has an absolute death grip on you.

Without you:

The skies have a green hue to them as lightning cracks. He is pissed at who or what made you not want or have the time to sleep with him. He would sneak out of his dorm and (break in) sneak into your dorm. He would then climb into bed with you and then instantly fall asleep.

#twisted wonderland #twst #dorm leaders #fluff #twst fluff #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle x reader #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #leona x reader #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul x reader #kalim al asim #kalim al asim x reader #kalim x reader #vil schoenheit #vil schoenheit x reader #vil x reader #idia shroud #idia shroud x reader #idia x reader #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader #malleus x reader #cuddles #kokofluff #kokoscenarios #kokooriginals

[pablitogavii]

Best friends little sister Pt. 3

Pablo got the picture in his inbox the same morning. His heart jumped as he read Vinicius' instructions while I was peacefully sleeping on his arm. I told Pedri I will sleep over at Masa's and stayed with Pablo after the game to properly celebrate the win.

The picture

"Fuck!" he said and I slowly woken up brushing the sleep from my eyes smiling at Pablo's face above mine. I moved in starting to kiss his neck but when he pulled away I looked at him in confusion.

"You have to go! Um..I have a physical today" he says and I was completely lost since last night he promised me the whole day in bed? Did he really forget about the physical???

"But it's Sunday Pablito???" you remind him but he said they scheduled him earlier and he needs to be ready quickly. With barely a peck did he leave the bed as I got ready and left back home..not knowing that will be the last kiss in awhile I will share with Pablo.

Pablo knew that if he as far as looked at you, the picture will leak and ruin everything..any chance of being with me in peace...his friendship with Pedri..and my relationship with your brother. He needed to push me away no matter how badly he craved being by my side..it was for the better for all!

For the next five days I tried reaching out to Pablo without success. If I texted him, he didn't reply. If I called it went straight to voice mail. Today I decided to go to training and catch him before he left the dressing room..I was desperate and worried why he was suddenly so cold towards me???

"Um Gavi..can I ask you something???" I saw him leaving with Frankie in shock to see me standing by the dressing room in my school uniform. He followed after me looking back worried that Pedri might see something. We went into the conference room and he put down the blinds.

"What are you doing here!? And during school hours!? Are you crazy!?" he said but I didn't even listen to a single word rushing and kissing him feverishly..it's what I needed for all these days!

Although kissing me back, he was quick to pull away and walk backwards away from me..I needed to know what was going on with him???

"God you're so needy!!! Can't you understand I'm done with you!!!???" Pablo yelled but it didn't matter what he said, I refused to believe that is the truth..it couldn't be because it was so sudden and with no explanation!!!

"P..Pablo..what happened? what did I do??" you say tears filling into your eyes as you tried getting closer but he once again stepped back..like he was running away from you.

"You're a kid and I satisfied my craving, vale! Now just leave me alone" he said and your heart shattered..you left home in tears and haven't stopped crying for the next two weeks.

Meanwhile Pablo never played worse in his life..missing the passes..not scoring since the last El Classico and arguing with everyone all the time. He felt defeated and angry first at himself for not telling Pedri on time which would make it imposible for Vini to threaten him like this. He messed it all up!

"Y/n is really going through something..wanna throw her a beach party tonight??" Pedri said and at the mention of my name Pablo looked up suddenly being interested. It was his fault you were "going through something" so the lest he can do is help. They invited everyone.

At home, you were working on an english project.,

"And they wanted to run away together because of forbidden love.." Jacobo talked but I was somewhere else wondering how could I be so stupid to believe only my heart..my head always told me it was wrong and I should have listened!!!

"Please like they really love each other!" you snarl at the boy who held a book and looked at you with raised eyebrows. Great! Now he thinks I'm some anti love lunatic! Well done!!!

"Sorry..I just think they don't even know each other that well to be able to love each other" I tried to explain but Jacobo was already in my face with his lips on mine kissing me deeply. What the fuck!??? I pulled away wiping my lips.

"What are you doing???" I say and he apologized starting to pack his books. I then sighed telling him it was alright to talk about it like adults.

"I'm so sorry..I just like you and being so close lately.." he said but I never thought about it like that. Yeah, we spend time together at school and were partners for this English project but it was nowhere near kissing one another.

"I'm just.." I start but then didn't even know what to answer next..I'm nothing..Pablo used me..that was all!!!

"with someone else?" Jacob asked

"yes..NO!..um I'm just not up for it" I say mumbling and he smiled nodding his head and taking mine. He kissed it gently before getting up and ready to leave.

"I understand..but I'll fight for you..that you should know" he said and I blushed while walking him to the front door. Pedri watched me from the kitchen smiling excited to see your reaction tonight at the party.

It felt good knowing someone else wants to fight for me..so why the hell were tears spilling down my cheeks again!? Will I forever belong to Pablo Gavi!!!???

"Hermanita!!!" Pedri called a few hours later and I groaned walking down just to have him put a blindfold onto my eyes.

"You know if you weren't my brother, this would constitute as kidnapping, right Pepi???" I say giggling and he told me to stay quiet while driving me to the beach. Drive wasn't long but i was very impatient so I kept bothering him.

"Alright, alright we're here! Stop whining finally!" he said walking me and I could smell the ocean already and my feet felt the warm sand..I smiled.

"Are we at the beach???" I ask and he slowly took off the blindfold as everyone yelled "SURPRISE!" and I jumped holding my hands on my mouth. I couldn't believe he did all this for me..I really had a special brother!!!

Everyone was there around the large bonfire..Rapha brought smores and Balde played music on his speaker...Frankie turned on the grill..Ansu, Araujo and others played ball in the sand..and everyone was happy. Well, almost everyone was here..Pablo was nowhere to be found..I was happy about that but then light shined from the parking before he emerged from the shadow and my blood froze.

Our eyes met and I couldn't handle it..tears returned to my eyes and I just had to run away and get some air..it was a first ever panic attack I've experienced and the whole world felt like closing in on me.

I was sitting on the rock shaking until two arms held me and I looked into my brother's concerned eyes. He put his jacket over me holding me there in silence as I cried..why did he have to hurt me!? why me!? i never wanted anything but to love and be loved..and now i feel like a used up toy..

"Hey, whatever it is hermanita..you can tell your Pepi, bueno? I know it's kind of like I'm your parent here but I'm also just your brother..i never snitched on your to mom and dad, vale?" he spoke and I wanted to spill it all..the whole truth..and beg him to forgive me..to not hurt Pablo..but I didn't have the heart to hurt him..and even though I hate to admit, I didn't want to hurt Pablo either.

"I like someone..but I rejected him today" you lie feeling sick to your stomach that after everything he'd done, you were still lying to Pedri's face.

"You were scared?" he asked and I nodded..what else were I meant to do? one lie after another..it felt eternal at that point.

"Just call him..he's a fool if he doesn't want you" he said and I smile nodding and taking the phone he gave me..Pablo Gavi..you're one big fool!!!! I dialed Jacobo's number..

Pedri returned and Gavi after chugging onto another beer out of desperation asked about me..he wanted to follow after me..to hold me against himself and tell me he lied..that he loves me..so much it drives him crazy..but he knew he couldn't..not with Pedri already leaving.

"It's about the boy like always with girls.." he said and Pablo clenched his jaw..he was ready for his best friend to punch him into oblivion after I told him about everything but punch never came.

"She left with Jacobo, let's drink" when those words left Pedri's lips Gavi's whole body contracted and he watched you hop onto another boys motorcycle and drive off..he clenched his grip on the bottle and it broke leaving his hand bloody.

That night after Jacobo brought me home after nice dinner and kissed me tonight, I regretted it all..lying to Pedri again..getting into a relationship I don't want..and ever giving Pablo Gavi a chance. I fell asleep with tears once again.

A stumbling sound didn't wake me up but cold kisses on my shoulder and neck did and I really was about to scream but a hand was covering my mouth. I turned around and saw Pablo there clearly too wasted to know what he was doing.

"What are you doing here!!? Please leave!??" I tried getting up but he was too strong and had me pinned down on the bed with heavy breathing.

"Please..just one more time..we won't do anything..I just want to hold you one more time.." he was slurring his words and my heart was racing..he was clearly still feeling the same thing I did. But i had a boyfriend now..it was even more wrong then before!!

"i have.." but he didn't let me finish that sentence..he couldn't bare it in that moment and I knew it as his eyes were filling with tears.

"please cielo.." he whispered and I sighed feeling a lump in my throat from that nickname pulling his arm and making him cuddle me tightly as we both fell asleep..suddenly nothing else felt wrong.

Pablo woke up first..he had a horrendous headache but smiled looking down at me in his arms sleeping peacefully. I looked like an angel with my hair scattered down his arm holding onto him while his hand rested on my butt. It was perfect..and if he could hide from Pedri then he could hide from Vini as well!

Just as he was about to kiss me good morning did my phone ring and I jumped looking at my new boyfriend's name shining on the screen. I heard Pablo groaning and throwing his head back in annoyance.

"You should go and..Pablo don't ever do this again!"I said about to answer but he took my phone hanging up instead.

"You let me stay because you wanted it too! I know you're still mine pequeñita.." he said about to pull me close but I was done with his games. He hurt my feelings and made me feel like his toy only to act like it didn't happen..well that won't happen!!!

"I let you stay because you were wasted and wouldn't let go off my waist! I'm done crying over you so just get out!" I were as cold as he was seeing something in his eyes sparkle and it had a red ting..he was angry. The doorbell rang and we both went downstairs.

It couldn't be Pedri since he was at training that Pablo clearly decided to ditch..so it could only be Jacobo..shit!

"Hey beba I brought you coffee..oh hi Pablo, I'm a huge fan" he said and there went Pablo's confidence as he smirked looking at your annoyed face. Pablo took the coffee from the boys hands and you stood there in disbelief..what an asshole!

"She hates coffee in the morning cause it makes her stomach upset..see you around pequeñita" he smirks winking and you fought an urge to throw a rock at his big head right now! Although he was right..Pablo did know you so much better than Jacobo..

We went to school and there was Masa waiting for an explanation..Jacobo kissed me and left and I told her everything she missed since being away.

jacobo_bru

Beba @y.n.gonzalez

comentarios:

pedritoofan: he's her boyfriend!!?😨

gaviigirlss: she doesn't look happy like she did in pics with gavi :((

y.n.fangirlies: right!!? that's what I thought!!?

masa.babyy: my best girl❤️

pedri: ❤️

pedri.gavi.girl: nooo she's not happy with him pedriii!!

gonzalezfam: she didn't even comment!!?🤔

#gavigif #gavi #fc barça #fc barca #fc barcelona #pablo gavi x you #pablo gavi x y/n #pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi icons #pablo gavi #pablo gavira #pablo martín páez gavira #pablogavixreaderfluff #pablogavixreadersmut

[billlydear]

hi, can i request a hurt/comfort fic where reader is struggling with family problems (maybe like billy or maybe something different) and they’re kind of a jerk like billy too? but then something happens that breaks them down and he just so happens to be there and he actually helps them deal with it. if you’ve already written something like this then i’m sorry, i’m new here 😅 but i love your writing and i’m excited to read more 💓

GOT A LIGHT? - BILLY HARGROVE X READER

W.C 1948 - INBOX (please request !) - GIF CREDIT TO OWNER

A/N: ohh my god i'm sorry i went MIA for like two weeks!! more to come soon, i promise <3 warnings: mentions of abuse, reader is abused similar to billy, they smoke together, angst, angst with a happy ending (? maybe hopeful, not happy 😅)

He's in his car when it happens. It's late, past 2AM, which is why he supposes your mother sees no problem opening the door and shoving you out. You trip over the porch step when she pushes you, landing hard on your ass on the concrete while she looms over you.

"Find somewhere to stay for the night," She seethes, spitting mad, "Because you're not welcome here."

He's suspected it for a while. Anger like the stuff inside of him, anger like the stuff he's seen ooze out of you, that doesn't happen for no reason. He's disappointed but not surprised to watch you fall, staying concealed in the darkness of his car as he watches from across the street.

You don't even try to get up, and Billy knows exactly how you feel. Sometimes, when you're knocked on your ass, you don't get back up. You're a modern day Sisyphus, and the boulder's rolled back down your hill one too many times. He decides to help you push.

He doesn't want you to startle if he slams the door to his car, so he leaves it open. Under any other circumstances, he'd close and lock it, watching from the other side of the street to make sure no one even breathes near it. But it's in the back of his mind as he crosses the street to your house, the slightly chilled night air nipping at his bare, toned arms.

He stops behind you, boots scraping slightly against the pavement. You don't dare look at him, you know who he is. There's only one person across the street that would be out at 2AM, and he's the last person you want to see.

"Come sit in my car," He murmurs, keeping his voice low in case your mom can hear from inside.

"Fuck off." You keep your eyes down, still turned away from him and splayed over the pavement. You're propped up on your elbows, and Billy sees one of them slowly staining the ground red.

"You can sleep in the backseat if you want," He presses on, ignoring your hostility the way no one ever ignores his, "I'll pass out in the front and keep the heater running."

"Fuck. off."

"I'm not allowed inside tonight either," Billy finally admits, "My dad and your mom took the same parenting class."

You're quiet, and Billy knows you're thinking about it. Thinking about all the times you've seen him threaten to blow, all the times you've heard the whistle of his teapot before it boiled over, all the times he lingers on the street too late to be casual.

"I have a first aid kit under the seat." Billy looks at the red-stained concrete, "And you can bum my cigarettes."

It's a peace offering. It's all a peace offering, a confirmation that there's someone else like him out there, and he'll be damned if he lets you slip through his fingers. He's spent enough time hiding from everyone that could never understand, and now that he knows someone can, he can finally talk. He can finally feel, he can finally relate, he can finally live.

Everything hinges on this. He can't keep doing this, he can't keep spending cold nights on the front steps or sneaking to the kitchen for an ice pack to put over his ribs. He can't do it alone, and you're the only one that can help him. He feels his heart beating out of his chest, pounding in his ears and pooling blood near his feet where they're bent against the sidewalk. His thighs are burning from how long he's been squatting, but he'd rather die than give up and walk away.

He uses your silence to mentally heal your wounds. He thinks about bandaging your fingers, disinfecting your cuts with a thin, pale antiseptic wipe that'll burn his own abrasions. He fantasizes about the simple act of sharing a cigarette with a friend, and you seem to share his thoughts.

"You- uh, you got a light?"

He knows that surrender. He knows the witty quip, the emotionally-distant snark meant to change the subject and disguise hurt for indifference. It's why he doesn't demand a 'Thank you,' because the way you look back at him is enough of one. You let him help you off the ground, and support half of your weight when the knee you'd tweaked gives you trouble. He helps you hobble back to his car, and he even shuffles you into the driver's seat to get you in quick and easy, where the door is still open. No one else has ever sat in the driver's seat of his car.

"I'll get the first aid kit," He murmurs, "Take a smoke."

He hears you wrestle with the pack of cigarettes he'd left on the center console while he digs around in the backseat for his first aid kit. When he gets back with the little plastic box there's one between your lips unlit, and he remembers your earlier question.

"Here," He fumbles in his pocket for his lighter. He yanks it out, sparking it until a flame roars to life. He holds it against your unlit cigarette, watching as the embers form and glow in the dark.

"Thanks," You mumble, and he nods while reaching for your hands. They're scraped and raw, blood dark in the creases of your fingers but light over your palms like you'd formed a fist and bunched it up there. There's rocks in your cuts from the concrete of your front steps, and he picks it out with his fingernails, crimson gathering under them that, for once, isn't his own.

You hiss as he pulls a particularly rough rock from its spot, and he fights not to acknowledge it. He doesn't want you to feel weak, so he keeps picking until your hands are gravel-free. He's far too good at wrapping wounds for an 18 year-old, but neither of you comment on it. He knows you are, too.

"There," He keeps your hands in his own, only a thin layer of gauze separating his skin from yours. He only moves his hands to pluck the cigarette from between your lips with one, and you blow smoke out of the side of your mouth instead of in his face as a thank-you.

"You sleep in here?" You raise an eyebrow, and he throws a scathing glance at his house.

"Sometimes. Only when my dad's having a bad night."

"So all of them," You scoff, "I've seen you out here before. I was gonna-" You pause, scoffing, then bury your face in your bandaged hands, scrubbing it clean of something Billy's sure is vulnerability. He takes a drag from your cigarette while you hesitate.

"I was gonna come out and ask if you were okay," You grumble from inside your protective shell, "But I- I dunno, I try not to be out here at night if I don't have to be."

"You don't know if they'll let you back in," Billy mumbles, nodding while funneling smoke out of the corner of his mouth, "I get it."

You nod, then shiver. Billy suddenly remembers he's still crouched on asphalt and not safe inside, because a cigarette and a friend concoct warmth he's never known before. He pats your knee, then stands, "I'll crank up the heater."

It's weird being in the passenger's seat of his own car. He's been in there to clean, scrape mud from the wheels of Max's skateboard off of the floor while he curses her under his breath. But it's different settling in the seat, head leaning back against the headrest while you shut the driver's side door. Silence envelops the car, and Billy clicks the lights on so that you've got a warm glow cast over you.

"Thanks for the cigarette," You take it back from him when he offers it to you, "That's what- uh, that's why I was out there. My mom found mine."

"My dad doesn't care," Billy spits, grateful for the freedom but doomed by the negligence, "I think he'll be glad if I die of lung cancer so he doesn't have to kill me himself."

You snort, and he's so glad you don't apologize. There's a certain familiarity that the two of you can speak with, you don't have to preface anything with 'okay, this is kind of dark, but-' or 'can i tell you something personal?'. You both have the same lives, and conversation clicks into place like puzzle pieces.

He wonders when the last time you got to relax was, as you sink into the seat. Your shoulders aren't tense and your eyes drift shut, both things that seem impossible for Billy in his own home. He suspects it's the same for you, which is why he doesn't lament the night ending so soon.

He wants to say goodnight to you, like a friend would. He wants to pretend he's at a sleepover on your floor, like your mom had brought you two cookies an hour ago, and now you're playing cards in your sleeping bags. He wants to pretend things are normal, that you're kids hopped up on sugar and giggles, not teenagers on nicotine and despair.

But the scent of smoke fills his car, and there are bandages on your hands. So he waits for your breathing to even out, watching the slow rise and fall of your chest in time with the seconds that slip away from your last encounter with your family. In, out, in, out, further and further away from the horrors in your house.

Only when he's absolutely certain you're asleep does he dare speak, and his voice is barely anything above a whisper, raspy and cautious.

"Goodnight," He murmurs, because he feels incomplete shutting his eyes without saying it. He keeps his head turned towards you as he sleeps, legs splayed open as he slumps against the seat behind him. He's almost afraid to go to sleep, on high alert to make sure that nothing can steal away his opportunity. Making sure the lights in his house are still off, that his dad won't give up and push him back into the house in case the neighbors see him sleeping in his car. He's busy making sure your lights aren't on either, that your mother doesn't storm over and demand that her child be released from the young man's car. And he's making sure you don't slip out yourself, like you're a puff of smoke that could vanish if he puts too much faith in you.

But eventually, his eyes slip shut and don't open again for hours. He goes to sleep with a friend in his car, and he wakes up with one, too. There's light streaming through the windshield, and the car is more than warm because of it. There's birds chirping, there's people walking their dogs, there's chatter over backyard fences, and there's you.

You're flipping through a book of postcards that he keeps in the driver's side door, all of California's scenic spots. Your fingers are brushing over his favorite now, the beaches along the coast that he'd swore to surf clean across. You glance over at him when he shifts in his seat, and you bite the inside of your cheek before breaking the silence.

"Morning," You mumble, averting your eyes to the postcard in your lap, "These are.. these are really pretty."

"Yeah they are," Billy rasps, morning voice in full effect, "Prettier in person, though."

"I'll have to go sometime, then." You hum, and Billy's decided before you flip to the next page that he'll be the one to take you.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove angst #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove oneshot #billy hargrove blurb #billy hargrove drabble #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove fic #billy hargrove x reader fanfiction

[daydreamgoddess14]

Support System pt. 2

Thanks for reading! I figure if I can get this out of my head I can get on with the other stuff.... or I'll just be compelled to write more Roy. Who knows?!

MASTERLIST

Chapter 2

Shrieks and giggles and thundering footsteps sounded throughout Sara's house. You sat at either end of the sofa with a large glass of wine and rolled your eyes. 

"I can't decide if someone's going to get hurt or…"

"Nah, they're fine," sudden silence, Sara looked up to the ceiling, "I think…" The giggles returned and she relaxed. "Andy didn't fancy helping out yesterday afternoon then?"

"He had plans apparently." You sigh. "I don't get how he can be this super organised dad for years and then decide he's not that person anymore."

"He's punishing you. For having a better job, for the long hours and the commuting. Typical 'this is what I've been doing for ages, you should be able to do it too?' bullshit. Phebs dad did the same till he buggered off completely."

"He knew my job was tricky, it's never been flexible - that's not new information. Now I'm trying to force flexibility and redo how I work."

"You'll find a balance. It'll take time."

"I just wanted to show Lexie that mum's can have great jobs. That I can do both. I totally fell for the you can have it all bullshit. You can have it all as long as you sacrifice yourself to do it." She patted your knee in comfort. 

"You can have it all. Just never expect to eat a hot meal, shower in peace, or have sex ever again."

"I haven't had any of those things in years anyway!" You laugh. 

"You have half a week alone now - you've never had that before! Time to introduce eating dinner and having sex!"

"It's the weirdest thing. The house is so quiet." A thud comes from upstairs. 

"I know, it's bizarre. Even if Phoebe's not here, I still do everything the same."

"Are we saddos?"

"Definitely. I guess that rules out the sex."

"Hmmm. I guess so!" You'd ordered pizzas for dinner and put on a Disney film for the girls. Sara could do French plaits, but you couldn't, so she braided hair while you painted nails. The girls loved every second. The following morning, Sara, with a rare full weekend off, was taking Phoebe to the Richmond game. She'd text Roy the night before and asked for two extra tickets for you and Lexie. While she was wrangling the girls to the breakfast table, the front door knocked, so you went to answer it. Roy had his back to you, but turned at the sound of the door opening. You were suddenly very conscious of your matching sleep shorts and t-shirt - he looked great in dark jeans and a black henley. He looked from your bare feet, up your legs. Thank god you'd put a bra on. 

"Mornin'" he said gruffly, handing her two tickets, "these are for Sara. Yours will be at the ticket office."

"Oh, thank you. Do you want some money for the tickets?" You turn to find your bag on the coat hooks. 

"Don't be fucking daft, course I don't. You might want to put some more clothes on though, it's cold." He was heading back down the garden path before he'd finished speaking. 

"Duh. I don't exactly go out in public like this." You called.

"Shame." You heard as he rounded the corner to his car. 

"Prick." You had no idea why Phoebe was so obsessed with this rude uncle who took the piss out of everyone. 

~~~~~~~

By the time you'd all gotten dressed and wrapped up, it was nearly time for the match. You walked round to Nelson Road, stopping at the ticket office to collect the tickets he'd left in your name. The noise in the stadium was unreal. It was mid March and the team didn't have long left till the end of the season, they were doing well and everyone had high hopes. Your seats were in the designated family area just behind the dugout. High above you was the owners box and directly in front of you were the Richmond team and coaching staff. Phoebe and Lexie were already joining in the chants and cheers around them. The combination of two 9 year old girls made them significantly louder than normal, Roy turned to seek them out and gave the girls a little wave, catching your eye as he did so.

"Does it remind you of loving boy bands when we were girls?" Sara asked as the stadium began it's 'Jamie Tartt doo doo doo doo' song. 

"Oh yeah, your brother is a real Robbie Williams!" You laugh. The team wins and you have to practically tear the girls apart when it's time to leave. "You'll see each other tomorrow." You reason, but it's not enough. "Why don't we pick Phoebe up in the morning and I'll take you both together?" That suggestion elicits some cheers. 

"Are you sure? I'm on early so I'll be leaving at 6am but Roy will be there. He comes straight from training Jamie at some stupid hour of the morning."

"That's fine, collect her from yours - about 7.30?"

"Yeah perfect, I'll let Roy know you'll be there." 

"Great, hear that girls? We'll get Phoebe and I'll take you both to school." The girls finally seem appeased and you manage to separate them. The rest of the afternoon you spend trying to straighten up the house, do Lexie's homework and cooking. You make sense of the coming week, Lexie gets collected by her dad on Wednesday afternoon so you know that the back half of the week can afford to be crazier and busier. Bathtime and bedtime are quick to arrive and once Lexie's settled, you finally get to sit on the sofa in silence. Sara has text to thank you for a lovely couple of days, and she's sent you Roy's number should you ever need it. Lexie is so excited to see Phoebe the next day that it takes a lot less arguing, bribery and shouting to get ready for school. You find a little extra time to put some effort in yourself with a black shift dress, heels and your hair loose around your shoulders.

"Mum, your hair looks so cute!" Lexie says happily. 

"Thanks bun. Let me brush your hair, see this is what happens when we both have time to get ready properly! No shouting and we both look smart." Lexie rolled her eyes, 

"Yeah yeah. Let's go get Phebs!"

"We'll be too early if we go now, love."

"Pleeeeease?" You check your watch, way too early but hopefully Roy won't be too much of a dick about it. It's a tube day today so you walk the short journey to Sara's. It's Phoebe who flings open the door and the two girls are inseparable once more. 

"You're really early, better come in." Roy calls from the kitchen. 

"We're walking to school so not that early." You clarify. He looks at your shoes, skeptical. 

"Walking to school then to the tube? You must be mad. I'm going past the school, I'll drive and drop you off at the station after." 

"You don't need to do that."

"I know, but I'm only going to end up driving past you in about 20 minutes anyway." He arches an eyebrow, daring you to argue. He pours another cup of coffee and hands it to you. "Besides, now you've got time to for a coffee before your day starts." You take the cup,

"Thank you." The girls come back to the kitchen, angling for extra breakfast so Roy opens a cupboard and hands them little chocolate croissants.

"Lexie's mum, you look lovely and your hair is beautiful today."

"Thanks Phoebe, that's very kind of you." You see her elbow Roy, 

"Doesn't she look lovely uncle Roy."

"Yeah, you look lovely."

"Thank you. Again." You blush, hiding your laugh behind your cup. 

"Got everything girls? We're goin' in a minute." You both finish your coffee while the girls get their bags and coats. Roy's 4x4 feels huge, he holds the door open for you at the same time as he does the same for Phoebe, then goes around to let Lexie in. 

"If this car wasn't so big, maybe it wouldn't be so easy to block you in?" You tease as he starts the car. He looks at you and for the briefest second you think he's angry, then he laughs and it's a low, deep chuckle which lights up his face and makes you feel warm in your belly. You jump out to take the girls into school while he turns the car around and then all too soon, you're outside the station. 

"Did you need me to get Lexie this afternoon?" He asks. It's a stark contrast to everytime you've had this conversation with Andy. Roy asks with ease and without judgement. "I'm getting Phoebe anyway?"

"I should be done in time, but thanks. If I get there first, I can get Phebs?"

"Nah it's OK, her mum should be home in time for bedtime tonight so I won't have her long anyway." You open the door to get out of the car but his warm hand on your elbow stops you, "Let me know if you're running late though, yeah? I don't mind. Sara gave you my number?" You nod, dumbly, "OK. Just call me or something."

"OK. See you… soon."

"Yeah, see you soon." You swear you're still blushing even once you're out of eyeshot and down on the platform. 

~~~~~~

The kids manage to survive by seeing each other at school, and the lighter Monday and Tuesday you'd planned mean for a smoother week. You don't need to call and beg Andy for help and you don't have to lean on Sara or Roy either. It's not until Wednesday morning that you cross paths again. You're waving goodbye to Lexie at the door when she spots Phoebe across the carpark with Roy. Since Lexie refuses to go in until Phoebe is there, you decide to wait for them. The girls hug and race inside for breakfast club. 

"Mornin', you alright?"

"Yeah, not bad. You?"

"Yeah good. Need a lift to the station?"

"That would be great - if you're sure?"

"Wouldn't have offered otherwise. Busy day?"

"Yep, a long one today. Lexie's dad is picking her up so I've got a late meeting." He holds the door open for you.

"What is it you do?"

"Deputy Director of Communications for a charity."

"Nice. Sounds… boring?"

"Hmm. They're not a great company to work for to be honest. They don't really have any people skills so they couldn't give a shit when you need something from them. It's all take take take." He shrugged,

"So leave?'

"Said the millionaire ex footballer with a great job as a coach. I have bills to pay - it's not that simple. Plus anything else at the same level is longer hours and generally more demanding than I can do at the moment."

"Fair enough. This is your stop." He pulls up at the station.

"Thanks. Probably won't see you till next week now, Lexie's with her dad till Saturday so no emergency pick ups needed. I can avoid the school completely."

"Lucky you. Let me know if anything changes and you need me to get the little un." You're suddenly overcome with gratitude for the support he and Sara have given in such a short amount of time. As if sensing how overwhelmed you are, he nudges your shoulder, "Don't be fucking weird about it. Off to work you go."

"Fuck off. I think you're nicer than you let on." You narrow your eyes at him. 

"Yeah well don't get fucking telling everyone. I don't do favours for the whole of the fucking town."

"Just the mums of Phoebe's friends."

"Just one of them."

"Ahh, it's survival of the fittest at the school gates and that's definitely not me."

"You're doing a great job. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Now, fuck off before you're late." You can see a grin pulling at the corner of his mouth. 

"Bye Roy!" You hop out of the car and turn back with a quick smile. 

~~~~~~~~

The second half of the week is as hectic as you expect it to be. You call Lexie each evening through yawns, promising her a fun weekend of baking. When Andy drops her off on Saturday morning, he invites himself into the kitchen despite you trying to avoid him. 

"Did you take her to the football last week?" He asks. 

"Yeah, her little bestie Phoebe got us tickets. Her uncle is one of the Richmond coaches."

"Not that miserable twat who picks her up from school? Roy Kent?"

"Yeah him. Phoebe adores him," you don't hesitate before adding, "I think Lex has taken a shine to him as well. And he's not a twat." 

"He had a go at me yesterday in the playground. I ain't having her go to a Richmond match, she should be West Ham."

"You can't force her to support anyone. She doesn't even have to like football. She likes Phoebe, she's a good friend and her mum is just as nice." You reply with a shrug. "Why did he have a go at you? Did you park on the hatches?"

"No I bloody didn't. I said Lex couldn't sleepover and he told me she could if she wanted to."

"Course she can if she wants to. Look, if you don't want her to spend time with her friends when she's with you, then fine. But when she's with me, we work out our plans together and we do what makes her happy." He shook his head and slammed the front door. It was barely 9am and you were done with his bullshit. You pull out your phone and text Sara, Going to the park if you want to come. Coffee on me x Then you call Lexie.

"Come on babe, let's go to the park and then we'll do some baking later." You don't get a reply from Sara so you head out anyway. Lexie is somewhere near the top of the big climbing frame when Phoebe barrels into you for a quick hug, and then goes off to join her best friend. "Hey Phebs!" You don't really want to turn away from the climbing frame but you do a quick scout around to see how far away Sara is. But it's not Sara on her way over, it's Roy with Phoebe's backpack on one shoulder and two coffees in his hands. He hands you one with a small smirk. 

"Park this early?"

"Thanks, rough morning. I heard you and Andy had a delightful conversation at school yesterday?"

"Dickhead said Lex couldn't have a sleepover with Phebs when it's his time with her."

"I know. I told him she could do whatever the fuck made her happy when she's with me."

"That's what I said," He growled. "Did he tell you he made some sly dig about it being so you can go off and do whatever or whoever you want?" You spin in anger to face him, his eyes stayed on the top of the climbing frame. 

"What?! No, he didn't dare say that to me. Ugh, he knows full well that single mums aren't exactly beating prospective new partners off with a stick. Just cos he's already met someone." You wipe your hand across your cheeks, shaking your head. Roy doesn't say anything. He reaches into Phoebe's bag, pulls out a paper bag and passes it to you. A chocolate star biscuit sits inside. 

"It's not a gold star, but whatever. You're a million times better than he is. More than that. You don't need validation from him and you don't need to compare yourself to him." He holds your gaze, his dark eyes are the darkest you've ever seen. He glances at your lips so briefly you think you imagined it. You smile sadly.

"Thank you. Chocolate's better anyway."

"Course it fucking is." He smiles.

#ted lasso #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fic #roy kent fluff #roy kent fanfiction #roy kent fic #roy kent #roy kent x reader

[saintwrld]

Akulaleki

Akulaleki - there's no sleep/ I've got no sleep

summary: in which reader takes Shuri to groove in South Africa, for Shuri to better understand reader's love for music and randomly dancing around the lab.

mood of the one shot: fun, comedic

warnings: party girl!reader, confused but excited!shuri, cussing (in both english and zulu), just super fun vibes and a lot of brand names bc i'm a fashion gyal and i like things 🤚🏽, (rich le$bean things 🥂)

translations: haibo - literally can’t explain this one, it’s like a sound of shock, bathong - another sound of shock (it’s got different meanings), ngiyeza - i’m coming, voetsek- fuck off (in afrikaans), nawe- you too, wavula icircle - she opened a dance circle, mntanasekhaya - sibling (not direct meaning), majivane - dancer (in a celebratory way), hawema! waletha undlukulu - oh my goodness! she brought royalty!, yoh - damn (kinda), chommie- friend (in afrikaans), ugirl uyakuthanda - the girl loves you.

inspired by: akulaleki - sun-el musician, samthing soweto ft. shasha

taglist: @pinkwright @zayswriting @inmyheadimobsessed @verachii @quintessencewrites @axailslink @shurismainbxtch @laurensmabel1 @heejayy @generallysapphic @vixentheplanet @abenomeiiii

(major love for you guys!)

a/n: this is for my party people!!! this is dedicated to all of you amazing people who are reading this. basically this one shot is gonna show you what it's like to party with South Africans. Groove is like the club but more fun 🕺🏽. reader will be South African (hope you don't mind!) and i'm excited to write as a sa party gyal myself 😝🫡. you'll also see a lot of south african celebs mentioned btw.

side note: are there a lot of translations? yes but the more you know 🫶🏽

-

With your ugg boots barely making a sound on the lab floors, you approach your girlfriend with her back turned away from you and the soft sounds of rnb playing in the background. It was quite a peaceful scene playing out in front of you. Scientists were working together on new projects and Shuri was sitting down, that's what shocked you most.

You stood behind her trying to peak at what she was busy with and it seemed as if she hadn't noticed you yet. "I can practically hear your heartbeat from here, my love." She remarked, making you groan as she turned around to face you. Her outfit was simple, a plain figure hugging sweatsuit with sneakers and because the outfit is on your girlfriend, it made you swoon.

"What if I wanted to surprise you?" You raised your eyebrow at her and she chuckled. "You'd obviously have to try harder, duh." Shuri rolled her eyes jokingly as you lightly shoved her.

"How's your day going? Can't watch the housewives without you." You asked, sitting on the empty seat next to Shuri. She lightly sighed and pointed to the formulae in her lab notebook. "First off, you watch two episodes every week and leave me behind so, shh. Second, these formulas are coming together and I'll start these projects in a week or two." Shuri said, closing the notebook and holding your hand that was situated on your lap.

"Oh so what? There's a real housewives of biochemistry that you're probably watching without me, huh?" You mocked, acting offended by her first comment. "Wouldn't you like to know?" She replied sarcastically, causing you to roll your eyes with a smile on your face.

Shuri looked at the table and grabbed a few loose kimoyo beads before beginning to work on them. "Now there has to be a reason for my lovely girlfriend to visit me on a Monday." She mentioned, causing you to fake gasp. "Haibo! Can I not visit my girl in her lab?" You asked, placing your hands on your hips and tapping your foot.

She ignored your antics and stood up to her sand table with you following close behind. "Just to talk about housewives? There's no way you drove all the way here just for that. What's on your mind, sthandwa sam'?" She snickered, seeing you drop your shoulders in defeat.

"I drove the Cullinan so it was a leisurely ride." You muttered, looking anywhere but your girlfriend's eyes. She gently grabbed your chin to focus your attention on her. Her eyes were warm, looking at you as if you held her entire world in your hands. Gaining up the courage to even ask this was eating at you and she could clearly see.

"It's going to sound bad but I wanna go home." Your sentence made Shuri confused. "But you just came from there-" "No, I mean my home country. Just for a few days." You cut her off, holding both her hands. On Shuri's side, her heart broke a little because that meant you were leaving her side for a few days.

"No no no, don't be sad! I wasn't done. I want you to come with me. Last time we were there, it was just a quick visit but this time, we're gonna have fun." You smiled at her and she looked at you in surprise. You and Shuri have different meanings for the word 'fun'. Hers would be driving around the city with you or relaxing with you on vacation, just listening to soft music and just loving each other.

You, on the hand, loved fun which included not chilling on a beach in Turks and Caicos. Back home, it was party time all the time, mainly because of the genre 'Amapiano' taking over the country and the world. Because of your love for dancing and your country's music, you would go to groove with your friends regularly, resulting in you becoming famous just for having fun and that's when you made friends with all of the South African artists. Being famous along with your many artist friends came with perks such as travelling, getting into anywhere free and a lot of love from your fellow south africans.

Whilst travelling to Chicago just for funsies, that's where you met Shuri. She was leaning against a cool car and saw you from afar, dancing with your friends to a song she couldn't exactly recognise. When Riri had eventually come out of the pizza shop, she was curious to what had gotten Shuri's attention. Riri recognised you from instagram on multiple people's stories. Riri being Riri, helped Shuri get over her anxiety of talking to you and went over to one of your friends, immediately gaining your attention.

Your curious eyes fell on Shuri, which you couldn't fully recognise because of her shades, and you went up to her only to be shyly greeted by the princess of Wakanda. You initiated the conversation and it formed a new friendship. After a few dates, she was no longer shy and asked you to be her girlfriend. After a few soft launch posts, you finally went public with her, gaining even more fame for dating a royal. For the past few months, you've been living in Wakanda and enjoying your peace but lately, you've missed your partying and your friends.

"If I say yes, will we just spend a week there?" She questioned, already making you smile bright. You nodded. "You already packed your bags, haven't you?" She sighed, removing her hands from yours and placing them on her hips. You back away from her, ready to make your exit before she says anything.

"We leave at 2 pm and I need to get a new suitcase for clothes for when we're shopping that side. Love you, bye!" You exclaimed, making a run for it while Shuri looked at you lovingly as you ran into the elevator. The other scientists looked at you two in adoration but truth be told, it was an everyday experience for them.

You hopped into your car after getting to the secret parking lot, feeling your phone buzz with a text.

panther bae

I love you too

-

y_n

liked by ririwiliams, champagnepapi and 694,637 others

y_n home 💫

view comments

uncle_waffles you are the moment

↳ y_n love you loads 🥹

user pls tell me you're coming back to sa

↳ y_n yup!

anok.yai you're so beautiful

↳ y_n guys, she called me beautiful 😝

kehlani is it party time??

↳ y_n it's party timeeeee!!

coachella_randy majivane is coming back? 🥹

↳ y_n literally just to dance with you my love

ayrastarr my moms are so pretty

↳ y_n Ayra, my child 🫂 (literally a year older than her)

flolikethis you are very much missed this side ma'am 🤨

↳ y_n i miss the three musketeers too

user i wonder if she's coming back with shuri

user my crush ( i told my village about us )

user pls we have so many new dances now. are you ready?

↳ y_n already learned them. i'm always ready for a good time 🫡

user ARE WE PARTYING WITH THE PANTHER?!

↳ y_n bathong 😭

kekepalmer and WHEN am I seeing you and partying with you again, Mrs Udaku?

↳ y_n now Keke 😭

-

After an hour long flight, it landed in the yard of your previous home before moving to Wakanda. Using the Royal Talon jet was a much better option in terms of safety for Shuri. With Aneka grabbing your suitcases and Ayo grabbing Shuri's, they placed them on the doorstep, waiting for you to open up.

The door clicked and it opened wide, taking in the sight of the home and all its memories. The many nights of Shuri always surprising you at your doorstep, showering her with love and affection that you missed over the times you hadn't seen her. When finished with her missions, she would often go straight to your house just to be in your presence. You had fallen in love with her and she had completely fallen for you. Uttering the words "my heart is yours and it will be yours till the end of time" during one of your cuddle sessions.

Seeing the house clean hadn't surprised you much as Shuri had programmed nanotech into the walls and rooms to keep the house clean for however long you weren't there. You didn't question how she did it but you greatly appreciated it.

In your peripheral view, you could see her yawn. "You wanna take a nap before we get ready?" You asked her, making your way to hug her which she greatly returned. You could feel her settle her head onto your shoulder and stay there for a while. You shook her a little but she didn't move. Is she really sleeping while standing? Her breathing became a bit slower and that's when your suspicions were confirmed. Using all the strength you had, you lifted her up by her legs and resting her on your shoulder. As much as Shuri was lean and literally looked like she was floating while walking, the panther was heavy and you were struggling to carry her up the stairs. You heard her giggle as her head was facing your backside.

"Shuri, leave my ass alone." You warned. "Baby, it's literally in my face, what am I supposed to do?" She shrieked, barely speaking because she was laughing.

After a few seconds, she kept quiet and you were curious as you were still struggling to get to your room. Next thing you know, you felt a sting on your ass.

"Shuri!"

-

Standing at your mirror in your closet, you observed your outfit and you were having a struggle choosing which shoe matched. Walking out the closet to find Shuri and ask for her opinion, you halted and almost fell to your knees. You knew Shuri had style but you didn't expect for her to wear any outfits you bought her.

The outfit had showcased her in a new light for you and you never wanted this Shuri to leave. In the mirror, she observed herself, adjusting her black tight fitting crop top along with her black black cargo pants. She had on the green Louis Vuitton varsity jacket with green low dunks to keep up the theme of her outfit. Her midsection was not fully exposed, showing off her petite figure. Her Kimoyo beads and earrings stayed on but extra accessories were added, such as a diamond encrusted cuban link you gifted her, a cartier love bracelet (that you both wore) and prada sunglasses.

She acknowledged you through the mirror and gave you a smirk, seeing your reaction to her outfit. Eyes raking over your body, she beckoned you over to the mirror, taking a step back so that you could stand in front of her. Stepping in front of her, Shuri wrapped her arms around your waist, looking at you through the mirror. Feeling her breath fan over your neck gave you shivers down your spine, her hands slowly moving towards your hips and staying there, pulling your body against her.

"Sthandwa, you look so good. Can I please show you how much I appreciate your outfit?" She said through kisses gliding from your ear onto your neck, feeling the coldness of her grill as she landed an open mouthed kiss on your burning skin. Her right hand moving from your hip, inching closer to the hem of your skirt and grabbing the flesh of your thigh. She was clearly enjoying watching you unravel at the slightest touches from her. As much as you seemed to be the confident one in the relationship, when it came to pleasure, Shuri made sure to show you a good time.

Knowing that you two would be late to your own welcome back party, you held onto Shuri's wrist and giggled when she groaned out load. "After the party and many years after that, I'm all yours. But for tonight, I wanna show you what it's like here and I promise. We can do that thing you like when we come back." You turned around to face her and tried your best to convince her by flashing a smile at her.

She looked at you a little while longer before eventually letting up, making you give her a quick hug and run to the closet to get your shoes. Looking back at her, you noticed her flashing the grill to herself in the mirror, clearly feeling herself.

What a night it's going to be.

-

Stepping out of the car to which Shuri kindly opened your door for you, you greeted by the small crowd of photographers of the club and fans who were waiting for you to show. They just had no idea that the Princess of Wakanda would also show up. Greeting everyone on your way to the entrance of the club, you held Shuri's  ring clad hand and literally felt the ground vibrate because of the music from inside.

Hearing your favourite genre of music brought warmth to heart, especially when the people were celebrating you, You were buzzing at the thought of being back in your element, dancing with your close friends, being by the dance floor and showing off choreography on the dance floor and usually you did all this without a drop of alcohol in your body.

The security had been tightened tonight because of the amount of status within the club. The capacity was apparently at its maximum tonight which was a little off putting to you but Shuri assured you of your safety, reminding of you of the Dora that had eyes everywhere plus she was literally the Black Panther.

The bodyguards at the entrance were alerted of your arrival and immediately opened the doors for you two, hearing the dj announce you and Shuri's arrival which made club goers cheer, eventually turning into screams at the sight of you two.

Shuri had definitely undermined your fame in your home country. She always knew that you were well known across the world but to see people cheering as if Beyoncé just showed up. Shuri herself hadn't really acknowledged her fame as she's always busy but to be up front with it was a different experience.

A sparkle girl came up to you two, completely starstruck and she led you two to the vip section, a large upstairs section over looking the huge club. You greeted the crowd from the balcony who excitedly greeted you back, phones pointed at you as you blew kisses to them.

Walking back to your booth, you sat next to Shuri who looked at a kid in a candy store. "You always give the best surprises, my love." She said. "What do you mean?" You looked at her confused. Placing her hand on top of yours, "Just how you seem introverted in Wakanda but the minute you stepped foot in here, you were a different person." She commented.

Leaning closer to her as the music became louder, "Looks like we both have superpowers." You smiled which she reciprocated. You two stare at each other a little longer until you were interrupted by the sound of your friends entering the vip section as well. The first one to spot you was your best long distance friend, Lihle, better known as Uncle Waffles.

"My favourite couple ever!" She shouted, walking closer to you two. Her pink hair matching with the strobe lights of the club as her distressed denim set made a statement. You two stood up to greet her with open arms. Shuri had only met Waffles so she was familiar towards her however she would be meeting your other friends today.

"You don't mind if I sit here? It's a bit hectic down there."  She gestured to the crowd beginning to fill up the capacity.

"No, you're okay." Shuri answered for the both of you. After a few minutes of catching up with Waffles, a few more of your friends came to greet the two of you. Shuri's social battery was fueling up, making her more excited for the night ahead of her. Seeing her like this, all comfortable and chatty with your friends, made you really happy.

"Y/n! It's almost time for my set. Do you wanna be by the dj booth with me?" Waffles called to you. She could see you were itching to be on the dance floor, fucking shit up. A larger smile beamed across your face as you nodded. "As if I would ever say no." You expressed, grabbing her awaiting hand.

Looking at Shuri, she was in deep chats with your other friends, laughing her ass off at their terrible jokes. She was okay. Seeing the wide smile on her face made you smile. Feeling yourself being dragged by Waffles made you laugh. "Okay, ngiyeza!"

Dancing to your friend's set behind the dj booth was too fun, especially because it was like you two were synced. The crowd went crazy when you two went onto the mini stage in front of the dj booth to show the choreo for the particular song playing. As the djs switched, your friend Daliwonga (and apparently Shuri’s new best friend besides Riri) came up to perform. “Ah mntanasekhaya!” He greeted you warmly as you were still behind the dj booth. “How are things going? Just to let you know, I’m besties with your wife. You didn’t tell me she was this funny, funnier than me even.” He smiled, getting his mic ready.

“Please, everyone’s funnier than you, Dali.” You rolled your eyes to which he deadpanned. “Voetsek.” He kissed his teeth making you laugh. “Nawe. Please don’t fall from the stage.” You walked down from the stage with him giving you the finger.

An hour later, you're still cutting it up with Waffles on the dance floor with your other friend, Randy, joining in on the fun. "Hawema! Waletha undlukulu!" Randy exclaimed once you pointed out that you were here with Shuri.

"We're so happy that you're back, chommie. Life was beginning to be boring so when I heard that majivane was visiting, you know I had to show up for my girl." Randy smiled, making you hug him just for his words. "Yoh, ugirl uyakuthanda." Your friend Kamo Mphela commented with a smile on your face as some of your friends stood by you on the dance floor.

You looked up to the balcony only to see Shuri peering down at you with the most loving eyes. You send back an innocent wink at the woman but she doesn't react. She knows how you get when you tease her in public.

The dj's had switched and now all your favourite Amapiano songs were playing. Some of the songs were oldies while a few were brand new. Immediately running to the dance floor, you barely realised that a large crowd formed around you in the shape of a circle. People filming you from all different directions, chanting ‘wa vula icircle!’ which you were sure was going to trend the next day. After dancing with a few supporters of yours, you smelt Shuri's scent next to you, with her surprising the people around her.

"Come, let's dance." She smirked, causing you to look at her otherwise. You knew Shuri to be the swaying type of girl, if she wants to get a little wild, she'll add a whine to the mix. The dancing in Wakanda was extremely different to that of South Africa. Usually at groove, the aim is not to sweat but because you made this your living, you gotta give the people what they want.

"Are you sure? It's a fast song." You questioned, hearing the beat drop nearing closer and closer. "I've had my lessons." She smirked once again. The best finally drops and it was if Shuri had been dancing her whole life. She knew the choreos you would practice were hard but she didn't mind learning them for you.

The crowd was hyping you and Shuri up, eating up the dance moves. However the night was still young.

-

Hearing the birds chirp by your bedroom window, you picked your head up, slightly opening your eyes and feeling the heaviness of your eyelids. You looked to Shuri who was laying face down in the pillow, wearing the same outfit as last night and so were you.

Feeling for your phone on the nightstand, you grabbed it and stood up to stretch and open the curtains. The sudden light in the room caused you and Shuri to groan out. "Sthandwa, please come back to bed." Shuri's voice muffled because of the pillow as she felt for your body in the bed.

"I'm hungry and I'm craving iKota." You croaked out, clearing your throat. "You're craving what?" She questioned, sitting up slowly. "A kota. It's an uncut loaf of bread filled with chunky fries and sauce. They add other things as well." You explained, walking into the bathroom to get a proper look at yourself and what a sight. Your wig disheveled while your makeup tried its best to stick it out.

"Okay let's get ready to get that abomination because I'm also hungry." She got up from the bed to stretch as well.

"Not too much on my food now, babe." You joked.

#Shuri x reader #shuri #black panther #shuri udaku #shuri x black!reader #black panther wakanda forever #wakanda forever #wlw #partygirl #south africa #letitia wright #letitia wright x reader #lesbian #saint writes #princess shuri #Spotify

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N = Levi x plus size reader

T/W = Kinda slow burn. Masturbation, Oral [M->F], P->V. I think the fact that it's summer might be the worst thing about this piece.

✂️ MDNI/NSFW/🔞 Under the cut ✂️

"All of you ..."

○ It was a little after 11:40 when you started to hear your boyfriend moan into his pillow.

○ He wasn't too loud until he started to rub his hard cock against the tightly stretched sheets.

○ You didn't want to lay there and ignore his nearly inaudible pleas for release. But you wanted to see how far he'd take this. How long until he sought your warmth out.

○ His sweaty body was spread out, face down on the bed. His hair was frizzled up all over his head, and his hands were holding onto the sheets. Your eyes quickly trace over his hips and watch as his ass moves back and forth in time with his thrusts into the mattress.

○ "Ah, ahh fuck," he'd rock his chiseled hips into the firm mattress, unable to hold back his quiet cries of pleasure for much longer. He looked to see if your eyes were still closed.

○ He thinks you're asleep and totally unaware of him hands-free jerking himself off to the thought of you - any part of you - wrapped around his leaky cock.

○ You squeeze him so nicely. Whether it's your cunt, your mouth, your tits or your ass.

○ He needs to be inside of you. He aches to fill you up with his hot, white cum.

○ He rolls to his side and begins palming his heavy cock. Watching you as tears of the most contemptuous kind threatened to sprinkle down his blushed cheeks.

○ Still unaware you're awake, he takes in the soft skin of your backside. Your breathing is steady and slow. Fooling him that you're deep in your sleep phase.

○ You're both nude. It's too hot in the summer to wear clothes to bed.

○ Your ass is so smooth and round in the moonlight shining through the window and onto the bed. The curtains plume out from an apathetic breeze in this horrible and languid season.

○ So, so softly, he reaches his hand to the curves of your body, barely letting his fingers touch you for fear of possibly waking you from a nice dream. He doesn't dream anymore. His nights never allowed him much in the way of peace. But he is learning.

○ His slow touches eventually build to deep, dragging pressure. His lips ghost over the backs of your thighs.

○ You shift a little and roll onto your back. Just before you settle in again, he gently lifts your leg and rests it over his hip.

○ Leaving you wide open on the disheveled blankets.

○ Your body is his for the taking. And fuck, does he want to take all of you.

○ He spits on his index and middle fingers and carefully spreads your lower lips apart so he can rub them over your clit.

○ So light is his touch that even he is having a difficult time registering the sensation of your pulsating bud.

○ But you can feel everything he's doing.

○ He begins to buck his hips into the fat of your thigh, and he moans more loudly than expected.

○ Opening your eyes, you watch him jamming his hard cock into such a seemingly mundane part of your body. But he's enthralled as he buries himself in your plush leg. He can't get enough of how his cock disappears into your flesh.

○ He hasn't sensed you watching him yet. This is surprising because he has always had a sixth sense about things. Especially when it comes to you.

○ How painfully beautiful your baby boy Levi is like this. His composure is broken and crumbling around him as you bring him – what he thinks – unknowingly closer to his much desired orgasm.

○ You're taking in every little tic he has right now; how his brows furrow while he concentrates on not only his own pleasure but working your little spot deftly between his fingertips.

○ His face contorts into something resembling what one would look like right before they whined. Lips together, but slightly sneering. Nostrils flared but were just barely noticeable. His eyes are so weighed down by his desire.

○ He is so close to waking you – he still has no idea you're watching him in his most beautiful, nearing feral state.

○ You open your mouth to say something but can't bring the words from your throat. You don't want to disrupt the precarious situation you've found yourself in with him.

○ His movements slow, and he shifts himself to be between your legs. Being so careful to leave your body as softly as he found it tonight.

○ He sneaks his arms under your thighs and holds you while he tentatively spreads you further and runs his tongue from the bottom of your pussy to your clit.

○ He's rubbing himself harder and harder against the bed as he eats you out. Timing his pleasure with what he's bestowing on you. What he hopes feels good for you.

○ He's rather inexperienced compared to you. But he's not upset about it. He wants so badly to learn and memorize what you like. He says everything he learns is for you and you alone.

○ You can't help but jump a little as he inserts two fingers, just like you showed him. He begins to finger you and rub the tips of his digits over the spot you two discovered together. You didn't even know you'd react the way you did to being touched there. But he remembers. And he certainly won't let you forget anytime soon.

○ Oh, how he is praying to any of the Gods that will hear his cries for you to wake up and touch him. He's so frustrated with what he's doing. Nothing feels as good as the real thing. Nothing feels as good as you.

○ You move again. Just enough to get his attention. He pulls back from your burning core, slick covers his chin and lips. Eyes heavy and looking drunk as he sees your face.

○ Running your fingers through his dark hair, you call out to him slowly. "L‐oh, Levi." Your words are quiet, so you don't startle him. You never want him to hesitate to touch you like this. Whether you're awake or not.

○ "I woke you." He didn't sound like he cared.

○ You shake your head and pull him to lay beside you so you're face to face now.

○ "I w–" You cut him off with a kiss on the lips so softly and deeply at the same time you're overwhelmed by his more forceful kiss as he hums into your mouth with a hunger you've only ever known him to harbor.

○ He feels how wet you are. Sticking his finger in his mouth and sucking your juices off.

○ He rolls over, so he's only half on your body, his hard length still prodding at the flesh of your thick thigh.

○ "Baby..." you breathe against his skin, "I'm here. I'm yours. Whatever you want, I'm yours. Do anything."

○ He put just his tip into you. Your eyes were locked on each other. Only closing them to blink away the tears as your bodies react to how fucking good this feels.

○ He rolled his hips into you so slowly and precisely you thought you'd scream. His cock fits inside of you perfectly.

○ Levi grabs you by the wrists and slides your arms above your head. It raises your tits up just enough for him to lick and nip at them.

○ "Fuck, you're so wet." He groans out as he continues to fuck you deliberately. His every move was calculated to elicit this response.

○ You wrap your ankles around his ass and buck your hips up into him because you can not take this anymore.

○ "Faster, You have to go faster!"

○ He buries his face in your shoulder and begins the descent into pleasure.

○ He makes you cum first. There's no mistaking it, the way you come apart tells him all he needs to know.

○ Your nails drag down his back and sides as you claw him, trying to get a better hold on his well toned physique.

○ Your orgasm hits you like a sudden summer storm: There's little warning when it hits, but you know it is coming.

○ "Levi, f–fuck ..." Your breathy words in his ear give him the nudge he needs to paint your insides with his milky white seed that's only given to you.

○ He moans loudly as the chains shackling him have fallen away, and he now knows more peace. You have given him peace.

○ Levi's hips bounce on and off of your soft body as you both start to come down from the high you shared.

○ He's drowning in you. But there's no amount of oxygen that could ever get him to come back up.

Most dividers from @ cafekitsune.

@flametrashira 🤗

Thanks for reading!

˖𓂃 ִֶָ ๋ Sarah ִֶָ ๋𓂃˖

#aot levi #attack on titan levi #aot levi ackerman #levi ackerman #levi smut #levi ackerman smut #aot ackerman levi #aot smut #plus size reader #levi x plus size reader #plus size reader x levi #levi aot #levi x you #levi x reader #levi x y/n #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x y/n #levi ackerman x you

[problemnyatic]

Ugh. I'm certain y'all've noticed, but I've been swinging bats at hornets nests online more and more lately and it's extremely because I'm unhappy with my life right now. Vent under the cut!!! woooo

I'm frustrated and feel trapped in a dearth of agency between The World and The Difficulties and the way my life has not set me up for success in any kind of way save for my small but golden group of friends and partners.

I'm constantly fighting an uphill battle to have my medications in order and every time one falls off or falters it makes keeping myself from fumbling the others that much more precarious. While i'm struggling to keep the utter foundation of my capacity to function held tohether, I need to find some way to string together enough practice with my hobbies that they can turn into marketable skills- an endeavor that absolutely kills my passion for said hobbies.

My sleep schedule is a nightmare and without external structure (read: school or a job) keeping me beholden to one, I'll never be able to keep it together because the one actual nucleation point in my life is my friends, who all have different sleep schedules and live in various time zones. And my desperation to constantly have someone around means I'm up as late as my up-late-est friend is, and then some so I have Me Time to be autistic about nothing/The Questionable in peace.

And even the one thing I do actually do, play video games all day, is frought, because i've gotten into too many at once and now I'm overwhelmed by being pulled in too many directions at the same time. It sounds like such a frivolous complaint among everything else, but it means the only fucking staple in my life- the escape from the looming stress of it all- is also fucking stressful and keeps me antsy.

to my darling girlfriend i live with who I know is reading this, please just don't read the next pragraph. its agonizing about things that there's nothing to be gained from fretting about, that you will fret so much about if reminded (we've talked about these things before, they just cannot be meaningfully changed). I love you so much and i kiss you

.

.

.

I'm cataclysmically imbalanced right now, and the circumstances of where I live only compound it. I moved a year and a half ago, and I still have barely been outside, let alone connected with anyone new here. The pandemic combined with living in a suburb without a license mean I'm profoundly isolated here, so I cling to the digital world to feel a sense of connection. It's not good for me. These days I spend most of my time in a windowless room for most all of my day, and sleep through the day anyways.

.

.

.

.

hiii darling welcome back

I need a serious restructuring of my life, and there's nowhere good to start. my adhd and autism have me trapped between a nigh inability to deliberately form habits, and a pathalogical contempt for manufactured rules and structures. I can't live my life by an arbitrary design, there needs to be weight behind it, not just "I said so," even and especially if I'm the bitch saying so.

Maybe I need an actual perscribed exercise routine. Maybe I need a steady supply of smokeable weed (edibles just do not fucking cut it for the nature of my needs). Maybe I need local friends, despite being well over capacity for relationships I'm keeping track of. It feels like I have a laundry list of things I need to get around to, all of which will help me actually improve my life, and the list itself feels unapproachable until my life improves. I'm just glancing off of everything I need to be doing in a circle forever.

So I'm frustrated. I feel impotent and useless and imeffective and adrift and frustrated at how much fucking effort it's taking to go absolutely fucking nowhere.

So I swing bats at hornet nests. Because it makes something happen. Something that I can see. It lets me watch myself have an effect on the world in some small, petty, ultimately meaningless way, but in a way I can fucking see, it's tangible. And much to my own fucking chagrin, that has utterly zero correlation to how healthy it is. Much like the rest of my habits, I guess.

I'm so fucking upset at the state of my life. I really hope my endless stabs at untangling this gordian knot of unstarters fucking get me somewhere soon. It feels like i'm struggling in quicksand.

#problemnyatic vents #problemnyatic thoughts #I need an income. I've needed one for my whole adult life #and my psychology and ideology and neurology are all seperately and in concert antithetical to obtaining one #I'm not built for the world that exists. I'm built for something better #and I'm dying trying to survive the hand I've been dealt even though what I've managed is cushier than any other struggler I see sround me #Yeah I'm effectively homeless and living off the good graces and privilege of my loved ones #but that does mean I don't pay rent and live under a tech salary #I think that's the worst part #I feel like I don't deserve to be as miserable as I am because the material circumstances of my suffering are actually fucking great #and highly coveted #I have won the fucking struggle bus lottery and it hasn't fucking helped #but I won the lottery. so I need to just get the fuck over myself and cash it the fuck in already #except I'm still a neurological crater of trauma and disorders and I'm still floundering and I still don't know how to get help #All my luck is squandered on me. #fuck

[worworwol]

Rather be in jail than alone

SZA - Kill Bill

Usually, I put somethin' on TV So we never think about you and me

Glass Animals - Heat Waves

25.01.2023

well, it has been a long time. i am not gonna say i took a break cause firstly that would make it seem like i did this long pause on purpose, which i did not, and secondly, i barely did anything on this blog yet to get a break. i just stopped caring about it for a few months and lost the passion i had after a few posts. it is one of my many flaws, i get bored of things, hobbies and media and people, very easily. i think i start too passionate, get too excited, too into it. then after the honeymoon phase since i am not in that intense state of mind, i just drop it. i can't do things unless if i am forced by something else; an emotion-highness, deadlines, or my family. it is another of my many flaws, this one brought by depression. maybe the other one is too, i did not psychoanalyze it enough yet.

another very important reason is that simply i have just been very busy. college has been an entirely different experience from high school in almost every aspect. i am now a lot more social which is great! but i also have a lot more responsibilities, lots of lectures, quizzes, midterms, finals, homework, lab reports, meetings, the translation job at the journal, social gatherings and many other things that always existed. i did not have the time to sleep on most days, so writing here was not even a dream cause i could not fucking sleep. i am back however because i am on my semester break, i want to be active and consistent this time. i hope i can be successful, i don't have much hope about it nevertheless. i want to tell about everything that happened but my memory nor my writing is good enough to go through months of life so i will just give background on stuff if there is any need.

i like someone.

i know it is a big jump from the two paragraphs of rambling but i like someone and that is all i can think about these days. their soft and long hair, their glass skin, their stupid jokes, their laugh, and the way they walk like they are carrying all the good things in the world with them. some people remind me of angels; the way they are is like something holy and pure in the sense that they are good, in their core, not that they are untouched. usually, it is my niece but he reminds me of an angel too. i have never had that experience with a real live person, let alone a MAN. but then he came along. i did not know that it is possible to just look at a person and feel at peace but here we are. all the poems i read remind me of him which is both endearing and terrifying. i do not wanna get attached to a person that i barely count as a friend, more of an acquaintance. i do not wanna make them a person they are not in my head. i do not wanna get rejected if i ever try to make a move. but i also want deeply to be loved, for us to be together, to have the courage to make a move and get a positive reaction, to be good enough for someone, to be worthy of someone's attention and attraction. i do not know if it is possible however like i said before i do not know how to be something loveable.

i am aware that he is not perfect either. he is not the perfect guy nor the ideal. but he is good. something i have never managed to become. i have gained weight so i look uglier and more disgusting than usual, i am not a positive person, nor fun or humorous. i am not as knowledged as he is nor i have a talent. why would anyone want me? at least i can see appreciate him from afar thanks to our friend group, at least i get to hear his dumb jokes and occasionally talk to him even. it should be enough, it has to be.

this much self-deprecation is enough for one post so i am gonna end it here, see you later; whoever you are. am i even doing this for someone else?

#day 3 i guess??? #tumblog

[mackenzielovee]

my girl (part 4) - rafe cameron

a/n: SURPRISE! I wrote a part 4 ;) i had this idea right after i said i was only doing 3 parts - but this really is the final one! I really hope ya'll enjoy. It's a little shorter than the rest! (not my gif)

Summary: Nope sorry you have to read!

Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, kissing, and test anxiety

Word Count: 4.4k

series masterlist

my writing

Your phone buzzing on your nightstand distracts you get again from cramming for your Chemistry final. The exam happens in two days, yet you feel like it might as well be in two hours with the amount of anxiety you have. It's your second year of college, and boy, it hasn't gotten any easier. Thankfully, your roommate is out for the night so you have your entire dorm to yourself to study.

You lean over and check your phone. Another missed call from your fiancee, Rafe. Beside your phone on your nightstand sits your engagement ring. You stare at it for a moment and swallow your feelings, then move back over to your chemistry textbook. Your phone buzzes again - a voicemail from Rafe this time, which you don't bother to listen to.

Chemistry is your focus tonight. Chemistry is what you need to be studying for, what you need to know inside and out. You throw yourself back into it, shutting off your phone when it buzzes yet again. You need absolutely zero distractions.

About twenty minutes into it, you hear a loud knock on the door. You sigh, figuring your roommate forgot her ID or keys again. You pull open the door and sigh, fully shocked when you find Rafe standing at your door. He's out of breath from running inside from the parking lot, and he looks pissed off.

"Oh, good, you're alive," he snaps, pushing his way into your room before you can even invite him.

"What are you doing here?" you ask him, closing the door so none of your nosy neighbors can listen to yet another argument between the two of you.

Things haven't been good. You're sick of him calling and texting you all the time, him begging you to come home, and constantly asking who you're with when you go out. On top of all of that, your classes this semester are harder than they've ever been, but Rafe never respects when you say you need space and time to study.

"Checking to see if my fucking fiancee is breathing!" he shouts, throwing his hands up in the air, "I mean, shit, Y/N, I called you, like, twenty times."

You glance over to the nightstand at your phone, realizing your ring was over there, too. You know he won't like that.

"I shut my phone off. I really need to study, Rafe," you tell him, but he's not listening.

Instead, he collapses onto your bed and puts his head in his hands, sitting directly on your Chem textbook and notes.

"Oh, my God, what the hell? Get up," you snap at him, walking over and pushing him off so he doesn't ruin your notes or textbook pages.

"It's fucking fine," he replies as he stands, barely glancing at your papers.

"No, it's not. I need this shit to pass my exam-" you hold the wrinkled papers up.

"They're literally fine, Y/N," his voice raises, "Stop being so dramatic."

You take a deep breath before you speak again, knowing whatever comes out will not be very nice. You've really been trying to be patient with him, but it's getting harder and harder.

"I'm not being dramatic, Rafe," you say calmly, "I just really need to study and I need peace and quiet."

He sighs and rubs the back of his neck as he debates what to say next. Neither of you want to start a fight, but you both have a lot of shit to say. His eye catches the shiny object on the nightstand and he looks over, figuring out it's your engagement ring.

"What the fuck?" he gasps, picking it up and holding it out to you, "Since when do you take this off?"

You put your hands on your forehead and sigh, realizing this is going to take up a lot of time that you don't have. And the fact that Rafe drove eight hours on a whim because you didn't pick up his calls all day has made you crazy.

"I cannot do this with you right now," you tell him, stepping toward your Chemistry stuff.

You'll just have to go to the library and study if he's going to be here. There's no way you can get any of your shit done with him bitching about your ring.

"Oh, my bad, when can you do it, then?" he rolls his eyes, "Huh? Can you give me, like, a window of time where you're actually available to talk?"

"Rafe-" you start, but he holds his hand up.

"No, because, I mean, I don't hear from you all day, and I'm fucking worried about you, so I make the long ass drive to come check on my soon-to-be wife, and now I'm the bad guy? Yeah, no, I get it now!" he exclaims.

"Jesus, okay, I have to go," you say, grabbing your backpack from the floor and sliding some slippers on.

"Right, to study," he grumbles.

"Yeah, to study," you snap back, "Just because you didn't go to school doesn't mean you can't at least try to understand!"

You rarely raise your voice at him, so Rafe knows you're mad. He stares at you for a second, deciding if he should acknowledge your comment about him not attending school.

"It's not about whether or not I understand, it's about time management," he lectures, making you roll your eyes, "Don't roll your fucking eyes at me."

"Don't show up at my dorm unannounced!" you yell back.

"I wouldn't have been unannounced if you would answer your goddamn phone!"

You take a deep breath and exhale loudly, then step closer to the door. Rafe walks over to you and grabs your arm, spinning you around. You stare up at him like he's crazy, he's never laid a hand on you like that before.

"Put your ring back on," he demands, holding it out in his hand.

"What the fuck is your problem, Rafe? You think I'm gonna get hit on walking to the damn library? Get a grip," you mutter, trying to yank your arm from his grasp but failing.

"I'm not playing," he tells you, holding the ring up in his other hand.

"Neither am I," you snap, "Let go of me."

He stares at you for another few seconds and then releases you, groaning loudly when he does. He steps away from you and runs his hand through his hair, then sets your ring back down on the nightstand.

"What's going on with us?" he grumbles, sitting down on your bed again.

You start to feel bad as you look at him, so you step closer and set your books down on you desk. You open your mouth to speak, to apologize and return your ring to your finger, when he speaks out again.

"Why didn't you answer the fucking phone when I called?"

You close your mouth quickly, swallowing the words you were about to say. You stare at him for a moment, then you decide that it's just best to tell him the absolute, stone cold truth.

"Because I have shit going on, Rafe. I have a Chem final in two days and I'm not at all prepared, I have other finals and an entire paper due by the end of the week, and I have you up my ass about everything in between and it's just a little overwhelming right now."

He brings his head out of his hands and looks up at you. His expression changes from hurt to angry in about one second, so you brace yourself.

"So what do you want me to do to help you, then?" he asks, his voice agitated. You can tell he's trying to be patient, but he really wants to yell.

"I just need you to give me some space right now," you state.

He nods his head, moving his eyes away from yours and down to the floor.

"Space," he repeats, "You want space."

You nod your head slowly, afraid now to speak. You can't tell what his reaction is about to be, but obviously it isn't going to be a good one.

"So, you ignore my phone calls," he holds up one finger, "You take off your engagement ring," another finger, "And now you want space. Do you think I'm a fucking moron?"

He stands up off the bed, now towering over you. Your hands come up to your face, rubbing your eyes to try and relieve some form of stress.

"God, Rafe, you're making this out to be something it's not-"

"Am I?" he shouts, "Do you want to marry me or not? I mean, I really think that's what this boils down to. Am I what you want, or not?"

His yelling combined with your stress and confusion makes you yell back at him.

"I don't know!"

He steps back, almost like you've hurt him, and stares at you with a look you've never seen before. It's anger, betrayal, confusion, and sadness all rolled into one, heartbroken expression. It makes your stomach turn thinking about the fact that you're hurting him.

"Well, there it is," he says, his voice cracking, "I'll just get out of your way, then."

He leans down and grabs the ring from your nightstand, wrapping his large hand around it and then stepping toward the door.

"Rafe, wait," you say, "Where are you going to go? You can't drive home in the dark."

He doesn't turn around, he can't look at you. Not when you're not sure what you want.

"I'll sleep in the truck," he says, his voice weak and quiet.

"No," you protest, "Rafe, I'm sorry."

He stands there for a few seconds, then turns, and you see the tears in his eyes. One has fallen, and rests on the bottom of his cheek. He wipes it away, but not quick enough.

"Why are you sorry? I'm not what you want anymore," he laughs, but nothing is funny.

Another tear falls and you step forward quickly, reaching up to wipe it away. He closes his eyes under your touch, always loving feeling your skin on his.

"I didn't say that," you say gently, tears welling in your eyes from seeing him like this.

"Just..." he trails off, finally opening his red eyes, "Go ace your Chem final. I'll see you at home in a few days."

He reaches up and grabs your hand, removing it from his cheek. He lays a quick kiss on your knuckles, then closes his eyes again when he lets go of you. Not sure if it's his last time feeling you.

He turns to leave, opening the door up before he turns back to you.

"I love you. I always will."

He doesn't wait for your response, he just closes the door behind him. You turn and look at the nightstand where your ring once sat, wishing to God that it was still there. You want to tun after him, but you know you can't. You two just need some cooling off time, you tell yourself. You'll come back again atfer finals when you get home for Christmas break. He'll hold onto your ring for you, you convince yourself of that.

You can't focus. The next day, you spend all your time in the library, staring at a page in your Chem textbook, and all you can focus on is your empty finger. No pretty ring that reflects every ounce of Rafe's love for you. You check your phone, but all you see is an empty screen. Your wallpaper is a cheesy picture of Rafe holding a wine glass. You took it on your anniversary last year and love everything about it, especially his cheesy grin.

Tears start to form in your eyes, so you do what you have to do. You call him. It rings and rings and rings, then you hear his familiar, raspy voice on his voicemail.

Yo, it's Rafe. Leave a message and I might hit you back.

You close your eyes, those two sentences being the most you've heard from him in almost twenty-four hours.

"Hey," you start your message, "Look, I'm sorry about last night. I really want to talk. Please call me back. Love you, bye."

You sigh and hang up the phone, then look down to your book again. You try and try to focus, but you can't. It just is impossible with everything spinning around your brain. You can still see the look on his face when you said you weren't sure, you can still hear him say 'I love you' right before he left.

And it's all you want to hear again.

You slam your book shut and grab your stuff, then make your way out of the library. Once you get outside, you call Rafe again. You hear the same ringing and the same message from his voicemail, so you leave another.

"Baby, please call me. I'm worried about you. I just want us to talk. Please call. I love you."

You hang up and walk back to your dorm, checking every five seconds to see if he's called you back. You really just want to hear his voice, to apologize, and to be able to focus on Chemistry again. Knowing that Rafe is out there hurting is just too distracting.

You call hm again after you get back to your dorm, giving him about thirty minutes to call back before you try him again. When he doesn't answer, you leave another message.

"Hey," you say, your voice sounding more desperate, "I'm going to call Dad and have him come get me. I'm skipping out on my Chem final. I just want to come home and work things out with you. Call me, please. Love you."

And you mean every word. You sit down on your bed and you remember how Rafe had helped you move in on your first day of freshman year. You remember how he made love to you and how he proposed to you in the parking lot before he left. And you remember all the times he came to visit and you two laid in bed and planned out your whole wedding reception together, laughing and joking about who to invite and who to sit together.

As you sit there and remember it all, remember the kisses and the laughs and the feelings you have when you're with him, you've never been more sure in your life. It's Rafe. It will always be Rafe.

You hear a knock on your dorm room door and hop out of bed, rushing over to it. It's him, you hope. Coming to rescue you, coming to hold you, coming to give you your ring back. You pull open the door with a big smile, only to find your roommate, Alex, standing on the other side.

"Hey," she says, looking confused at why you opened the door like that, "Sorry. I forgot my keys."

You drop your shoulders and nod, moving her out of the way. She leaves the door open as she moves over to her side of the room to search for them. You sit back down on your bed, checking your phone once again. He has to call back eventually.

"You're not ditching your Chemistry final."

You look up and see him, standing in the doorway, staring at you. His eyes are tired, his hair is a mess, and he looks like he's hung over. You don't even want to know where the hell he's been for the past day.

"Rafe," you breathe, hopping up from your bed.

You want to throw your arms around him, hug him, and have you hold him. He stops you when you get close to him, holding out his hand to keep distance between the two of you, which practically breaks your heart in two.

"You're not coming home until you take that test," he repeats, "You've been studying for it and if you don't take it, you fail. So, you're staying. I called your dad."

You frown. This is not how you imagined it. He seems colder somehow.

"Okay," you say, "Fine. But I want us to talk."

Rafe shakes his head, leaning against the doorframe. Alex walks up behind you, whispering she will be back later, and leaves with a quick smile to Rafe.

"I'm giving you your space so you can focus. We'll work on us when you're done with the semester."

He sounds firm, but you know you can win this one. You step forward, so close that he can almost feel your skin on his. Your scent fills the air, and you watch as he swallows his feelings.

"Rafe," you say, your voice soft, "I can't focus on anything knowing that I hurt you. I need to talk about us and figure things out. Please."

"Baby," he sighs, and you know you've won just by the return of your nickname. It's your favorite, which is why he calls you it so often.

"Please," you say, taking his hand. Your fingers wrap through his, pulling him inside.

He groans but enters anyway, both of you knowing that he would do anything for you. The door closes behind him, which you're thankful for. You sit him down on your bed and instantly crawl onto his lap, not caring if that's what he wants or not. That's what you need. Your head buries into his chest and your arms wrap around his neck.

"Baby," he says again, this time with more authority.

You bring your lips up to his neck to soften him up, listening to the small moans that come out of his mouth as you work.

"Rafe," you say against his skin, "I'm so sorry for what I said yesterday."

He hums, so you give him a few more kisses on his neck before you pull back to look at him. He stares at you with soft eyes, and you know you've already won him over. But you still need to say what you need to say.

"Truly, baby. I was wrong. I was angry. You are all I want in this world and I couldn't handle any of this without you. I was acting extremely ungrateful and I'm really, really sorry," you continue, watching him smile sadly at you.

"Well," he smirks, moving his hands from your back down to your butt, "I've always known you're a brat, so."

"Hey," you pretend to pout, but really, you just want a kiss. He gives you a slow, gentle one, one that makes you want to melt into him.

"You are the love of my life," he says, "You could never say anything to make me walk. And I'm sorry for being such a dick yesterday and for not respecting your school. I'm gonna get better. This shit is just hard for me, having you all the way here. I just miss you when I'm home."

You nod, reaching up and brushing his hair away from his eyes with your fingers. Even when he hasn't showered, is in the same clothes as yesterday, hasn't styled his hair or even slept well, he still is the most handsome to you.

"I understand. I'm sorry for being so hard on you," you say, kissing him on the cheek.

He smiles against your lips, bringing his hands up to your face to move you down to his lips.

"Are we okay?" he asks you in between kisses.

You hum against his lips, and he takes that as a yes, so he flips you over and lays down on top of you, kissing you like his life depends on it. He quickly moves down to your neck, his hands going underneath your shirt.

"Oh, my God, I missed you, baby," he tells you as you feel him leaving a hickey on your neck.

"Always marking me up," you laugh at him, feeling him smirk against you, "I missed you, too."

"It killed me not calling you back," he continues against your neck, "But I wanted to do right by you, you know?"

You gasp when he bites you slightly, then laugh when you feel his big grin on your neck.

"That's why I love you the way I do," you say sweetly.

He sits up and looks down at you, smirking widely, "Can you love me like you do right now and then get back to your studying?"

You bite your lip and nod, pulling him back down on top of you.

A little while later, you and Rafe lay naked in your bed, just breathing in the other. Rafe is drawing hearts into the skin on your stomach, leaving little kisses every so often on any inch of skin he could reach with his mouth.

"You need to get back to studying," he says, but doesn't stop with his kisses.

"Can I have my ring back first?"

He looks up at you with wide eyes, wondering if you really mean it. He didn't want to bring up the ring, just in case you had changed your mind about the engagement.

"You sure?" he asks quietly.

You grab his chin and pull him up to you, stroking his hair as you give him a couple quick kisses.

"I've never been more sure of anything," you tell him.

He nods and kisses you again, then hops off the bed and pulls the ring out of the zipped up pocket of his shorts. He grins at you and then jumps back in bed, of course landing on you when he does.

"This is a twin bed, you ogre. You can't be jumping and shit, there's not enough room for you!" you say as you try to free your left side from underneath him.

He moves and lets you get situated, then holds out the ring. You hold up your left hand for him ti put it on you once again.

"Will you marry me?" he asks, and you would've laughed at him if his voice wasn't so gentle and nervous.

"Of course I will, Rafe Cameron," you tell him, smiling.

He slides your ring back on your finger and you somehow feel more complete, more whole, knowing it's there.

"It's never coming off again," you tell him, meaning it.

He kisses you softly, "No, it's not."

Rafe takes a shower and then hangs out on your bed on his phone later on to keep himself occupied while you study for Chem at your desk. You ask him to quiz you and he does, even though he knows nothing about Chemistry.

It gets late, so you tell him you'll study the rest tomorrow and hope to be prepared the following day for the exam. You put your book and notes on your desk, then slide into bed with Rafe, who you made stay with you tonight. Although it didn't take much convincing.

"I can't believe your dad is just letting you take all this time off," you mumble against his chest.

"Hmm," Rafe hums, so you know you're wrong, "I've kinda been dodging his calls."

"He'll be mad," you tell him, and he nods.

"I don't care, though. I got what I came here for."

You spend all day the next day studying in the library for Chem and writing your paper, while Rafe packs your things for you. He figures it's one less thing for you to worry about, and then you can just come with him after you finish your exam. He had told you he wanted to be the one to bring you, his soon-to-be wife, home.

Rafe waits for you outside your building on exam day. One by one, students file out of the building, and he gets even more anxious every time you aren't one of them. Eventually, he stops pacing and sits down on a bench, praying that you do well.

He sees you emerge from the building with only ten minutes to spare, and jumps up to greet you.

"So?" he asks, his voice hopeful.

"I won't know for a few days," you tell him, "But I'm confident. I felt like I had most of it under control."

He smiles, taking your hand in his and kissing it, "I'm so proud of you, baby."

You smile and thank him, then put your head on his chest in hopes that he'll wrap his arms around you. With the amount of stress you've been under the past few days, all you want is just for him to hold you right now.

"I'm so proud of you," he repeats, swallowing you up in his arms.

You breathe in his scent and relax, knowing that even if you fail every class you ever take for the rest of your life, you will always have a place in the arms of this boy.

After a few minutes, you move to look up at him by resting your chin on his sternum, staring up at him. He smiles down at you, running a hand through your hair as an attempt to calm you down.

"Take me home, Rafe," you tell him quietly, and he nods.

He reaches down and takes your hand, leading you away from the building. You two go back and grab the remaining items you need to bring home, the rest Rafe already packed in the truck, and then go out to the parking lot to head home.

You feel relieved, ready to spend some quality time with Rafe and really make sure to work on things so that nothing ever gets bad between the two of you again.

He puts you into the truck and closes your door, then hops into the driver's side. He reaches over and takes your hand, staring at the ring on your finger and smiling softly.

"Let's just elope and get it over with," he looks up at you, already laughing because he knows you'll never agree.

"Yeah, I'm glad our wedding is something you just wanna get over with," you roll your eyes, but can't help your smile.

"You know what I mean," Rafe groans, "We don't need all the bullshit and the drama. I just need you. And a minister."

You laugh at him and nod, understanding what he means. He looks down at your hand in his, at the diamond on your finger, and so do you. You honestly can't remember why you took it off, you just know you never will again.

"A small wedding it is," you whisper.

He leans over and gives you a kiss. Then another. Then another. He pulls away and starts the truck, then looks back over a you.

"Baby, I'll do whatever you want."

That sentence combined with the cheesy smile he gives you afterward is what convinces you that, no matter what, Rafe will always be yours, and you will always be his.

Tags: @cmrxac

#drew starkey #rafe fic #rafe cameron imagine #rafe #rafe imagine #rafe x y/n #rafe fanfiction #rafe outer banks #rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe x reader #outerbanks rafe #outer banks netflix #obx fic #obx fanfiction #obx netflix #outerbanks netflix

[liamade]

Sleeping Stars ; Kang Minhee

»»—pairing: kang minhee x non-gendered reader

summary: A late-night of unfinished assignments lead to shiny, gold Daiso stickers that could only hope to imitate his beautiful freckles.

genre: fluff, college au, boyfriend minhee

warning(s): N/A

✧ word count: 578

a/n: this is a spin i took on this au by !! please read the og because it's really adorable ^^

also! feel free to insert your own pronouns/gender as I tried writing this with a non-binary insert character :)

*.✧.*✧*.✧.*✧*.✧.*

The sound of rustling and frantic mumbling pulled Minhee from his sweet dream of a bathtub full of tabby kittens.

His eyebrows furrowed and a groan slipped past his lips as if telling whoever and whatever to simply fuck off. A smile rose to his face as sleep quickly found him again soon after.

The room was silent, save for the small "Minhee?" that was whispered out into the still air, followed by the creaking of the bed.

Little taps danced across his cheeks every few seconds and he subconsciously wrinkled his nose. He felt like he was going to sneeze any second from the tickling feeling.

Starting to feel frustrated, he finally opened his eyes, trying to catch the culprit red-handed. Staring back at him like a deer in headlights was his s/o, completely frozen without saying a word.

"..what are you doing?"

They gave him an awkward smile, moving from their spot in his lap and onto the bed next to him. "You know how I said I was gonna stay up and finish my paper? Well, I got bored of that and decided to come to bed,,, but I couldn't fall asleep and I had a good idea!"

Minhee rubbed at his eyes. "Okay.. and what was it?"

"When people can't sleep, they count sheep. Sheep are really... been there and done that so…. I started counting your freckles. Then I realized your freckles kinda remind me of stars. So I went to Daiso and brought these star stickers to put on your cheeks." they held up the sheet of stickers with a sheepish smile.

"You brought who for my what?" he sat up, giving them a sleep-fueled confusion-ridden expression.

"I, um… I brought little star stickers to put on your cheeks"

Minhee couldn't help but laugh as he thought over everything he was just told. "You could've just woken me up to make this whole thing easier on yourself, babe."

They pouted, "but you looked so peaceful in your sleep.."

"Well I'm up now, aren't I?"

The two of them sat across each other on the floor, Minhee quietly watching as his s/o was hard at work.

"Are you done yet?"

"Hmmm.. nope, not yet. Gotta make this perfect.."

As the feeling of boredom started to settle into his stillness, his hand reached for the Daiso bag, dumping the contents out onto the floor. Grabbing the lone glitter jar, he looked down at it, the cogs in his brain churning before he looked up to his s/o's face and back down again. A mischievous smirk painted his face as he laughed to himself.

"What are you-" They were cut off by Minhee's gentle poke under their eye, a grainy feeling under his fingertip.

"Oh… it barely stuck." he sulked as he pulled his hand back, looking at his work.

"What the hell did you just put on my face?"

He held up the jar with an innocent smile, "I thought we could match~"

Their eyes grew as they realized what was going on, "you put glitter on my face?! I'm still gonna be scrubbing this stuff off by the time I'm sixty-four!"

"You'll be a fashion icon in your 60's—you should thank me really. Besides, you look cute."

They rolled their eyes with a sigh, the smile on their face betraying their act. "If you want the glitter to actually stick.. you can go grab my eyelash glue or something…."

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© liamade, 2022. all rights reserved.

#cravity #cravity au #cravity imagine #cravity scenarios #cravity fluff #kpop #cravity minhee #minhee fluff #minhee imagines #minhee scenario #minhee drabble #minhee oneshot #minhee au

[bitchjerk78]

DON'T TELL SAM

SUMMARY: Yn hears Dean touch himself

WORD COUNT: 2000

PAIRING: Yn x Dean

WARNINGS: Smut, cheating, oral sex, unprotected sex

You watch Sam sleep with a peaceful face by your side, you caress his face rough due to the growing beard. You don't really like a beard but you have to admit to yourself that it looks great on Sam. Long hair covers his sleeping face and you smile softly thinking about how happy he makes you. You try to suppress the overwhelming thought that reminds you that he is not the brother you really want to be with, but the younger brother's bare back judges you in silence and you bring your legs to your chest sinking your head between your knees. What a mess.

You are aware that you care about Sam, he is so thoughtful of you and makes you feel special. Sex is not bad at all. But you can't help but think of Dean's big hands and his green eyes that you are dying to see them focused on your naked body. You know Sam might be the one for you, but you've never been good at making the right decision and you already know you'll end up choosing the wrong option.

You sigh as you close your eyes and breathe softly. Thoughts fill your head. Why can't you just be in love with Sam? Because he doesn't make you feel that excited thrill down your spine every time he looks at you, he doesn't give you goosebumps when he touches you, and his voice doesn't make your stomach crumple like a sheet of paper. Because he's not Dean.

You put on a sweatpants and cover yourself in Sam's plaid shirt, you need to get away from the muscular guy who sleeps in your bed.

The bunker is silent, everyone is probably asleep and you try to be as careful as possible so as not to wake anyone up. Jack is having trouble sleeping and you try to pass his room without making the slightest noise. You stop with your heart in your chest in front of Dean's room and put your ear to the door to hear what he's doing. Everything seems silent but your heart explodes in your chest as soft moans echo in your ears

"Fuck" you hear Dean cursing and his stomach does a somersault. Is he touching himself? The very thought of his face twisted into a grimace of pleasure creates a thrill right there "yn" you open your mouth in disbelief. Did he just say your name? You can already feel the panties getting wet as the moans get louder and louder "oh my god, yn" if you thought you had imagined it before now you're sure he said your name.

You absolutely have to walk away or you might get caught and sure, that's the last thing you want to happen. You walk in the dark to reach the kitchen, you definitely need a glass of cold water to put out the fire that has ignited in you hearing the low and hoarse mouth of Dean say your name between a crowd and the other. You cling to the table as his voice explodes in your chest

"Dean?" you start seeing his sculpted body in front of your eyes. He has unkempt hair and red and swollen lips as if he had squeezed them between his teeth until recently. Slide your gaze up to his hands as you imagine his cock squeezed between long fingers. You are almost out of breath and take a step back and take another sip of water

"yn" read the embarrassment on his face as if what he just did was a cardinal sin "I thought you were asleep" shake your head as you watch the muscular legs stop a short distance from you and the big hands busy pouring water

"no, I'm not very sleepy" you bring a lock of hair behind your ear while his plump lips are moistened by the cold liquid

"I was cleaning the guns, didn't I bother you with the noise?" You smile knowing that he is lying and that he wants to make sure you haven't just heard him touching himself thinking of you

"no, I have not heard anything" he sighs relaxed and smiles mockingly "apart from you moaning my name, no nothing" an adrenaline rush shakes your chest. His green eyes focus on you in amazement and his pink face suddenly whitens

"I" shake your head and act without even thinking about what you are doing, without considering the consequences. You put yourself in front of his face being able to finally observe the freckles covering his nose "yn?" Dean asks confused as his hands land on your hips. You melt feeling his fingers tighten your bare skin under Sam's thin sweatshirt

"Dean" you sigh "Why did you touch yourself thinking of me?" you ask, holding it from below and tilting your head upwards

"fuck" moans as you approach his pelvis to let you feel all his excitement growing in his jeans "because I can't help but imagine you bent over this table while I fuck you until you cry every time I see you" you gasp from the his unsettling sincerity "tell me you do it too" his hand ends up on your face while his thumb slips cautiously between your lips. Dean caresses your mouth slowly while his finger brushes your teeth "tell me that you touch yourself thinking of me" your breath becomes short while you can almost feel your soaked panties "tell me that while Sam fucks you, you think of me, that I am the one who takes you between your sheets "you tremble and nod shyly. Didn't you think this would ever happen "yes?" nod again "good girl" your body is on fire at those words and you quiver with excitement as Dean pushes you down making you fall on your lap. The floor is cold but the desire for him sets you on fire

"Dean?" you don't know what you're calling him for. Whether it's a plea or a necessity

"sh, shut up. Don't you want to wake Sam?" his hand lands on your face making the sound of the slap echo throughout the kitchen. You moan with pleasure and place your hands on his thighs, the only thing you want is to feel his cock in your mouth "I know what you want, little slut" arch your back waited to see him undo his belt "hands" he orders while he tightens the belt waiting for you to put your wrists on it. He Pulls hard and ties your hands behind your back "so you'll be good" he grins as he looks at you and undoes his pants. Black boxers are so tight you can't imagine how big his cock "suck, baby" nod as you lick it with mock innocence as you watch it from under your lashes

"mh Dean" his hand ends behind your neck as he begins to accompany the movements of your head. He pushes you hard towards him and you can feel his cock in your tight throat. He puts both hands on the sides of your head and beats your mouth mercilessly. You would like to touch it but your tied hands prevent you. He's torturing you

"shit, yn" brings his head up so he can see his neck pulled. Comes out of your mouth and moans softly "open" he orders opening your lips, a trickle of saliva slips on your tongue making you aroused "swallow" you watch him while his saliva crosses your throat "good girl" makes you stand up and look at you intensely in the eyes "why don't we take off this shirt ah?" he smiles as he tears it up forcefully making it fall to shreds on the ground "you are mine" you moan nodding and, finally, his lips end up on yours. The kiss is slow but full of passion and desire, desire for sex, desire for him, desire for love. His tongue explores your oral cavity as his cock rubs against your leg

"Dean" you moan feeling your knees give way, his powerful hands hold you and without realizing it, you find yourself bent on the cold table while your body stiffens from the cold

"I'm about to fuck you so hard you'll beg" you nod as your pants are pulled off and your panties ripped in half "mh you're so hot. Lying on this table, you're so wet I can see your cum dripping from your legs" you ajar your eyes and you bite your lips hard as you feel his dick inside you "oh shit you're so tight" He takes you hard by the hair forcing you to arch your back

"Dean" you groan as the thrusts make your legs shake

"yn, you're so wet" he presses your head hard on the table and holds your bare back with his free hand. His moans give you goosebumps and you feel him approach your ear and bite your earlobe. Your legs are shaking and you are sobbing in order not to come without his consent

"Dean, please" moan "please let me come" you hear him laughing and whispering dirty things in your ear

"come for me, yn" you explode mercilessly moaning his name

"Dean"

"yn"

You scream as he collapses exhausted onto your back and leaves you a sweet kiss on the shoulder. He moves your hair away from your face so he can leave you another kiss on the cheek, forehead, nose, lips

"oh my god" you gasp as you try to stand up but you have to hold on to Dean because your legs are still shaking

"come here" he covers you with his shirt that reaches mid-thigh and takes you in his arms to keep you from walking, you put your head on his chest after having playfully kissed his chin. You hear him laughing and his chest trembles under your face as his laughter echoes in the kitchen "sleep with me tonight" he kisses your forehead and at the same time directs you to his room.

#dean #dean fanfiction #dean winchester #dean x reader #supernatural #spn #dean winchester smut #dean smut #fanfiction #fanfic #one shot

[boldlyvoid]

the guy at the rock show

she/they reader x Spencer Reid

request for @boba-king-iroh ♥︎

summary: Y/N lost their parents when they were 17, finding a new home and solace in Penelope Garcia and taking the Garcia name. They're the top forensic specialist in D.C, in a band and they drive a motorcycle... not to mention they are madly in love with the cute doctor who works with their sister.

warnings: fluff, mutual pining, getting together, love confessions, friends to lovers, idiots in love, PDA, secret relationships

word count: 5666

a/n: there will be a smutty part 2 eventually because I can't not do that

THE PLAYLIST THAT GOES WITH THEIR SETLIST IF YOU WANT TO LISTEN WHILE YOU READ

Read on Ao3 here!

Taking Garcia’s last name wasn’t something they had to think hard about, Penelope basically raised them; she was like a sister, a best friend and a mother, even a bit of a fairy godmother to Y/N.

They met when Y/N was 17, they were sitting at a support group for dead parents in D.C. Right beside the lovely, overly cheerful, always helpful, Penelope Garcia. At first, Y/N couldn’t stand her, wondering how a person like that could be running a group for mourning people, it made her sick.

It wasn’t until she heard Penelope’s story for the first time, knowing how similar it sounded to her own and how, actually, you can take your grief and turn it into something beautiful. After the meeting, they pulled Penelope aside and gave her a big hug and a thank you.

It was the start of a lovely friendship, one Y/N didn’t know they needed until they were smothered in all the love you could possibly imagine.

The age gap between them wasn’t too big, Penelope was 10 years older than them which meant she was always one step ahead of Y/N and full of advice. Be it fashion, boys, girls and everything in between. They bonded in a way that was unbreakable, they were each other's family.

Penelope even helped her get into med school before she eventually switched to forensic science. Taking on the FBI academy, unlike Penelope, and joining the bureau officially. Penelope was there for her every single step of the way, making her career possible. She loved her dearly and wanted Y/N to succeed more than anyone in the world.

Getting to introduce herself to people as Agent Y/N Garcia, not to be confused with technical analyst Garcia, was one of the best feelings in the world.

Not many people ever mistook them, however, for whatever Penelope was, Y/N was the exact opposite.

Y/N preferred all black everything, she didn’t enjoy partying or close contact or the in-your-face-ness of Penelope’s way of life, she loved her band and motorcycle and being alone. They were quote-unquote edgy, not just for effect, but because it was how they felt the most comfortable, it was who they were and they liked it that way.

They were possibly the best Forensic Specialist the FBI had, keeping her in DC for all the most important cases. Helping her avoid Penelope and the BAU team as much as possible. They were great people, she didn’t hate them at all, it was just a lot of energy that they didn’t have to give to 7 other people all day long.

Spencer was the only one she could tolerate. Rather, he was the one she wanted to spend the most time with, even more than Penelope. He understood Y/N in a way others didn’t.

He was also quiet, like them, he didn’t pick on them or call them mini Garcia, baby-baby girl, or infant as some of them started to call her more recently.

He called them Y/N, he talked to them about star trek whenever he was visiting Penny, and he respected their pronouns. Using both she and they interchangeably, when he spoke of them, unlike most people who only used she and her because it made more sense in their small brains.

However, she wasn’t the only one who got teased. Spencer did as well, almost more because he was around the BAU team constantly. She hated hearing them bully him, he didn’t even count it as bullying but it’s basically what it was sometimes.

They put him down, they didn’t clue him in on things, they called out his stims and didn’t let him finish his sentences, especially when it had to do with his hyper-fixations. He was the brightest light in the room and they just picked his brain till he wasn’t useful anymore, before trying to turn out the light. It made Y/N furious.

They got called Mr and misses genius when they were on a scene together, remembering the first time she ever had a case with the BAU which was also the first time she snapped at someone for being mean to Spencer.

Someone asked Spencer a serious question, to which he did his fucking job and answered. Giving as much detail as humanly possible, being the absolute genius he is and should be praised for, only to have Emily poke him in the cheek and say; “wow, he’s so life-like?”

“Well yeah, cause he’s a fucking human who deserves respect from the people who use his brain all day,” Y/N cursed under their breath from the crime scene, just loud enough for everyone to hear.

Leaving the sweetest man on earth to find them later and give them a hug. Thanking them for all that they do, and appreciating what he has to offer. That’s when she realized she liked him, more than just the guy who sometimes sleeps on her couch because he’s friends with her sister.

It was difficult being surrounded by men unlike Spencer, specifically the older men in her field who didn’t understand anything outside of money, guns, and violence. The worst part of the job being the politics in the background; the hierarchy and ass-kissing all because she worked in the nation's capital.

They were sure it was probably better in a smaller facility, a local police station where no one knew her and they could finally have some peace and quiet.

But she’d miss Penelope, and Spencer too for that matter.

At first, they’d hide in their room when Penelope brought him over for movie nights or when he crashed on the couch after bringing her home drunk from the bar. In the early days, she worried that he was going to be her new boyfriend, taking all of Penelope’s free time and leaving Y/N with nothing.

But then he started coming over all the time just to hang out, sitting on the couch with nothing to say, being the third wheel while Y/N and Penelope spent time together. For the last 7 years.

Over that time they had many conversations alone, she learned that he was really smart, he was a lot younger than most of the team because he blew through high school by the time he was 13, and he was genuinely the sweetest man in the whole entire world.

One time, Penelope was running late when Spencer showed up at the door with chips and candy, ready to watch his weekly movie with his friend. Only she wasn’t going to make it home in time, and Y/N didn’t want him to have to go back to his apartment all alone.

��You can come in and watch it with me if you wanted to?” She offered, smiling softly. “What was it you picked for tonight?”

“It was Penelope’s night to choose, so you can pick instead if you want?” Spencer offered right back, walking in like he owned the place.

He was more confident now than he was in the beginning, but that was probably because he was 23 and she was 18.

Back then he’d barely look at her and sometimes he’d shake when they made eye contact or when she got drunk and hugged him goodbye after a long night with Penelope. He was like that with Penny in the early days of their friendship too, apparently, so she didn’t feel too bad about it.

He warmed up eventually, making her wait 7 years for him to do something about the growing feelings they both shared.

“You like Marvel movies right?” She bit the inside of her lip as she waited for his answer. Watching him walk around the kitchen for a bowl that he could put his snacks in.

“Yeah they’re great, I haven’t watched past the second Thor, I think the next one is another Captain America?” he’s all smiles as he joins her on the couch, closer than normal, as close as he’d sit with Penelope, but then again she was a cuddler and Y/N wasn’t.

Sometimes Y/N would come out of her room to find Spencer’s head on Penelope’s lap, resting on a pillow as she ran her fingers through his hair to soothe his perfect mind after a long day. A few times she’s walked in on him crying or even sound asleep in her arms. They had a friendship Y/N admired, they were each other's person.

They comforted each other in the exact way they needed it; Penelope giving him the physical touch he craved and he would often compliment her. He was always telling her she was the best and buying her gifts to show his appreciation, calling her the most beautiful and smartest person he knew. He knew that she needed to hear it, needed the reassurance that she was still a good person and he made her believe it.

It made Y/N love him more seeing how much he cared for her sister.

“The winter soldier is the best!” She gushed, sitting close so they could share the chips as she waited for the movie to load up.

He was very quiet when he watched movies, smiling and laughing at the right parts but typically he paid so much attention it was like he was a statue. Y/N spent more time glancing at him than the actual movie.

“Is there something on my face?” Spencer asked, nervous when he noticed her glance at him for the 100th time that night.

“Oh, no you don’t,” she panicked lightly, swallowing quickly before looking away.

“What?”

“I don’t know, I just think you’re fascinating,” she whispered because then she didn’t really say it, and it didn’t really count.

“Oh,” he smiled softly, leaving it at that and forcing his attention back on the movie.

After a while, Spencer started to get even closer. He put the bowl on the coffee table and sat back almost on top of her, reaching an arm behind the couch so that Y/N was right against his side. He had done it with Penelope before, confident in this little living room, almost forgetting it was Y/N beside him.

Y/N rested her hand on his knee, rubbing her thumb over his jeans in a soft little circle as she pretended to watch the movie. More concerned with Spencer’s breathing and the feeling of his hand inching towards their shoulder than anything else.

Then they heard keys at the front door. Pulling away from each other quickly to curl up on opposite sides of the couch and pretend they weren’t just cuddling.

“Hey, you still came!” Penelope cheered, a little drunk from whatever she was doing before.

“I’d never miss a night with the Garcia’s,” Spencer smiled at her, looking calm and collected as ever while Y/N turned bright pink.

“Oh, I love Bucky! Oh my god let me go change and I’ll come watch too!”

That was just the first time they ended up cuddling, certainly not the last.

—

It wasn’t often that Penelope was too busy to spend time with Y/N, rather the contrary. Sometimes Y/N had to beg her to leave her be at certain events. Like when their band was playing at any of the local bars and Penny started inviting everyone she knew to come and watch her sister play.

It was embarrassing, to say the least, but Y/N loved her support.

When Y/N peaked her head out to see the crowd before a show, normally Penelope was sitting in the front with a drink and at least 4 friends, cheering and chanting their name, ready to rock out to their covers.

Tonight she didn’t see Penelope at all, she knew she wouldn’t, Penelope was in London visiting Emily with Derek for the second time in the past year, leaving no one to come to the monthly show Y/N’s band put on, or so she thought.

Spencer came all by himself.

He was sitting in the front, at a table with a bowl of pretzels and a ginger ale, not interested in the drinking or the socializing, just there to support Y/N. It made her feel giddy, like a schoolchild seeing their crush at recess.

It was so nice of him that it gave her butterflies, and normally that didn’t happen. They could go on and play a show in front of ten thousand people and feel nothing, but the second Spencer Reid was there to cheer them on, they were a mess.

“What song are we doing first again?” Y/N asked Evie, their lead singer and best friend outside of work.

“Who are they?”

Y/N was taken aback, “What?”

“You’ve never been nervous, who came to see you?” Evie clarified her question.

“No one, for fuck sake, I thought we left all the profilers at home tonight?” she sighed, shaking the nerves out of their body as they jumped up and down lightly.

They paced back and forth for a few minutes to wear down the nerves but only managing to make herself sweat to death and discard the leather jacket she always wore on stage. She walked in a circle aimlessly, remembering the setlist in their mind and how the spotlights typically made it so they couldn’t see the crowd anyway so it’s not like she could fuck up by making eye contact with him.

And it’s not like it was the first time he had seen her play, Spencer comes every month with Penelope, he liked a lot of the music they covered from when he was an emo teen in university. They’ve bonded over it before sharing albums and records back and forth, but she was still scared shitless at the prospect of him caring about her enough to come alone.

Especially when he hated being in situations like this in the first place.

It was their turn to go on, the manager of the bar gathering them and telling them to go on and so Y/N started walking towards the stage door, only to be pulled back harshly by Evie’s cold hands.

“Don’t forget your sticks, god who do you wanna fuck so bad it makes you this stupid?” She placed the drumsticks in Y/N’s hands, “get it together.”

“Sorry, it’s the guy in the sweater vest, front row,” they whispered in response, putting their head down and heading to the stage before she could tease them about it.

“The Forensic Lyricists are here once again folks!” The Manager introduced them to the crown, “get ready for them to dig up some classics!” Always the same dumb joke before every show.

Opening with crushcrushcrush by Paramore, thank god she remembered, it was an easy song to play as they warmed up and pushed the nerves away. They could play it in their sleep, with their eyes closed, and so that's what they did.

Eyes closed, mouthing the words as the adrenaline of the night took over the anxiety and made them go insane, like most nights. They didn’t need drinks or drugs to feel hyped at most shows, all she needed was a smile from penny and a good luck text from Spencer.

Playing by memory until she felt more confident and then getting into it. “They taped over your mouth, Scribbled out the truth with their lies, your little spies…”

“Crush, crush, crush, crush crush two, three, four!!” Y/N sung backup for each chorus, finally getting into it.

“Nothing compares to, a quiet evening alone! Just the one, two! of us who's counting on! That never happens, I guess I'm dreaming again.”

They tried their hardest to push the images of that night on the couch with Spencer out of their mind as they sang along, trying to harmonize and cover the backup for Evie as best as she could.

“Let’s be more than this now!”

She always took the bridge, as the drummer and the most passionate one, it only made sense. Y/N always got the crowd on their feet, roaring along as they jumped to the beat.

“Rock and roll, baby, Don't you know that we're all alone now? I need something to sing about. Rock and roll, hey! Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now? I need something to sing about! Rock and roll, hey! Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now? Give me something to sing about!”

“Nothing compares to, a quiet evening alone! Just the one, two! of us who's counting on! That never happens, I guess I'm dreaming again, let’s be more than, noOoo!”

She had a crush on Spencer fucking Reid and one now noticed as they tried their hardest to focus on the words when all that came to mind right now was his body heat and how good he smelled and how nice it was that he came to support them.

“Nothing compares to, a quiet evening alone! Just the one, two! of us who's counting on! That never happens, I guess I'm dreaming again, Let’s be more than this, more than thiiiiiis, oooooooh, mmmmmmhmmm,” she sang the ending of the song along with Evie, their harmony sounding more perfect than any performance before.

Critics always said the performance is better when you mean the words you’re singing. With that, they accepted their crush on Doctor Spencer Reid after 7 long years of knowing him. They pushed through nerves so that they could go and see him after and do something about it, now that Penelope wasn’t home to tease her for it.

Leading right into Dear Maria, Count Me In. Their bass player, Kat taking the lead for her favourite song. Being an all ‘girl’ punk band was her idea, and now they all enjoyed taking turns singing their favourite songs in front of mostly strangers, once a month.

Every single song made her think of Spencer in some way as she remembered the rest of the set, it had 5 songs in total and each one included at least one reference to something she knew about Spencer.

It was hard to not think about him while he stood at the edge of the stage with everyone and bopped his head along to the beat, a smile growing on his face as he also noticed the little references to them in the songs.

The Rock Show by Blink182 was going to hit a little too close to home as she sang the words all but to him, making eye contact with him as he moved to the best spot to see them play, much like Penelope would do every time.

She didn’t realize how much this song actually represented her life before tonight, starting to sing her song alone while Spencer watched. Deciding on the spot to dedicate it to him in the most fucking obvious way possible, taking her chances because he must have come for a reason.

“Hanging out behind the club on the weekends. Acting stupid, getting drunk with my best friends, I couldn't wait for the summer and the Warped Tour, I remember that it's the first time that I saw him there!”

Spencer was smiling then, noticing the lyric change as they made eye contact, nodding along as he watched. Genuinely enjoying himself and the show, it was lovely to see. She couldn’t help but smile against the mic as she sang and played. Wondering how his face will change with the next verse she watched him from the corner of her eye.

Her bandmates turning to see her as they played their guitars, nodding in agreement at the lyric change, they knew what she was up to. It wasn’t the first time they used the stage to bring someone home with them.

“He's getting kicked out of school cause he's failing. I’m kinda nervous, cause I’m sure all his friends hate me! He’s the one, he'll always be there, I took his hand and I’ll make it I swear,

“Because I fell in love with the guy at the rock show! He said what? and I told him that I didn't know. He's so cool, gonna sneak in through his window. Everything's better when he's around. Can’t wait until my parent goes out of town, I fell in love with the guy at the rock show!”

Spencer’s smile was priceless, it made them even more confident to sing all the words, wanting him with zero shame, it’s not like anyone who knew him would know about this.

“When we said we were gonna move to Vegas I remember the look your mother gave us 17 without a purpose or direction We don't owe anyone a fuckin’ explanation”

“Because I fell in love with the guy at the rock show! He said what? and I told him that I didn't know. He's so cool, gonna sneak in through his window. Everything's better when he's around. Can’t wait until my parent goes out of town, I fell in love with the guy at the rock show!” Making the softest eye contact with him, they moved their whole body to play to him.

“Black and white picture of him on my wall, I waited for his call, he always kept me waiting, and if I ever got another chance I'd still ask him to dance, because he kept me waiting!”

“I fell in love with the guy at the rock show! He said what? and I told him that I didn't know. He's so cool, gonna sneak in through his window. Everything's better when he's around. Can’t wait until my parent goes out of town,”

“I fell in love with the guy at the rock show!” She had never been this passionate while playing this song in all the years they had played it together.

Her bandmates taking the lead singing, “with the guy at the rock show!”

“I’ll never forget you,” she sang in the middle of their chants, “I’ll never forget you, I’ll never forget you, I’ll never forget tonight, I’ll never forget tonight…”

She shot a wink at him before turning back in her seat to face the drum set the best way. The last two songs were Evie’s and Kat’s, she covered the backup vocals, making the occasional glance towards Spence as she thought of him.

Counting down the minutes till she could go see him.

Come a little closer by cage the elephant, an obvious title with lyrics that would clearly bring every memory of brushed hands against lower backs as they slipped past each other in crowded rooms, lingering as long as possible before they were gone again. Goodnight hugs when Penelope was already asleep and he could hold her a big longer and tighter, resting his head on her shoulder while she rubbed his back and breathed him in. And that night on the couch, not to mention all the mornings she walked in on him sleeping peacefully, brushing the hair out of his face, softly, in the hopes he didn’t wake up.

“Come a little closer, then you'll see, Come on, come on, come on, Things aren't always what they seem to be… Do you understand the things you been seein' Come on, come on, come on! Do you understand the things that you've been dreaming… Come a little closer, then you'll see! Come a little closer, then you'll see!”

And even when he did she had a coffee ready for him when he sat up and smiled, giving them a few hours alone before Penelope would wake up. Talking all morning about star trek and dr. Who, smacking his knee as he made jokes that genuinely made them laugh while trying to keep her voice down so they didn’t wake Penelope.

Not many people made her feel like that in her life.

“Come a little closer, then you'll see! Come a little closer, then you'll see!” Staring at him, enticing him to do it the next time they had the chance.

The intro to I’d Do Anything by simple plan was one of her favourites to play, smiling wide as she began to drum as her best friends sang the words.

Waiting for the chorus to sing the words at Spencer, really sending the message, he wasn’t dumb, not in the slightest, he would get it. He had to, she had already been so obvious there was no turning back now.

“This could be the one last chance to make you understand,”

Her arms were starting to hurt as she played along with the most energy she has had in years, playing like a teenager whose parents just died and she needed to hit something, once again. It was freeing, playing with what she could only imagine was love in her chest instead of anger. It’s how she was supposed to play.

"I’d do anything Just to hold you in my arms To try to make you laugh Cuz somehow I can’t put you in the past I’d do anything Just to fall asleep with you Will you remember me? Cuz I know I won’t forget you,"

Focusing on the drumming and ignoring the lyrics as her bandmates covered the lyrics, letting her go hog fucking wild on the drum set, almost kicking the chair out from under herself as they kept going. Joining for the chorus again before beating the shit out of her drum set.

I close my eyes And all I see is you I close my eyes I try to sleep I can't forget you Na na na And I'd do anything for you Na na na Naaaaaaa

“I’d do anything!” She closed her eyes as she pushes the words past her vocal cords, again and again, passionately playing the drums as her hair flew all over the place, worried she might break the sticks as she played.

“Cause I know I won't forget yoooou!” She plays the end of the song, snapping the left drumstick in half before throwing the right one into the crowd, right into Spencer’s hand, sending him a wink before saying goodbye to the crowd.

Sweaty as hell from playing the drums, they brushed their long black hair back behind their ears and in a low ponytail so it would fit under her motorcycle helmet on the way home. Putting their leather jacket back on and heading into the main bar to find Spencer.

“Hey,” he smiled as she walked towards him, the drumstick now resting in his pocket as he approached her.

“I can’t believe you came here all by yourself?” Y/N laughed slightly before pulling him into a thank-you hug.

“I wouldn’t miss it, I’ve been coming for a year now, it’s always a great time,” his smile was perfect, his teeth were so white and straight and she wondered how they’d feel against her neck.

“It’s been that long?” She pretended that she didn’t notice, biting their lip as he ran the calculations in his mind.

He nodded with a soft, pressed-lipped smile, the Spencer classic. “Yep, it’s been exactly 14 months straight now.”

“I know you don’t like bars and loud noises and people you don’t know, or germs which makes this like a nightmare of yours I guess because of the close proximity of people and the germs being spread as everyone screams in a crowd,” she ranted before he was pulling her into another hug, “so this means a lot to me,” she finished her thought beside his ear for only him to hear.

“Anytime,” he whispered as he held her, his arm on her back and chin resting on her shoulder.

“Did you need a ride home?” She offered, thinking about how nice it would be for him to wrap his arms around their body as he sat behind her on Patsy, her motorcycle.

“Yeah, unless you wanted to go to your place and watch another movie? I wouldn’t want to keep you waiting,” he spoke just loud enough to be heard over the music.

“Yeah, I’d love that, it’s been lonely while Penny’s gone,” a smile erupting on her face as she got the reference, “come on then.”

She took his hand in hers, interlocking their fingers and dragging him backstage towards her locker. She had a space to keep her things for practice and other shows she did during the week, keeping an extra helmet and jacket in the locker for nights like this, however, normally it was a cute stranger. Not the man she’s been crushing on since she was a teenager.

“Oh, you brought Patsy,” Spencer’s face went white.

“Did you not want to ride her? Come on, everyone wants to ride her at least once,” Y/N teased him as she put the helmet in his free hand.

Her bandmates staring at her with proud smiles as she took the guy from the rock show home; the one in the sweater vest from the front, the one who was the most into the whole show, they both gave Y/N a wave and a smile as they slipped out the backstage door.

They walked out to the parking lot, still hand in hand with their helmets in the other. Stopping at her dark purple Suzuki GS650 GT, it was her most prized possession because it used to belong to her parents.

She put her hair in the right spot before putting the helmet on, sitting down and starting the engine, revving it for everyone in the lot to see as Spencer put his helmet on and threw a leg over the seat, nervous as ever.

He fit behind her perfectly, just enough room on the seat for his chest to press against her back as he placed his hands gingerly on her hips. It made her laugh.

“You’re going to want to hold on better than that pretty boy,” she teased him before revving the engine once more, kicking the kickstand up and speeding out of the parking lot.

Spencer gripped her tightly as she took off down the street, taking the longest route possible to her home. She didn’t hit a single red light for at least 5 blocks, zooming through traffic as Spencer squeezed the life out of her.

He felt amazing, his hands were so big as he fully wrapped around her, reaching around completely so his right hand was on her left hip and vice versa. He was so close she could feel his heartbeat against her back.

He was nervous, he flinched every time she turned and held on even tighter somehow.

So she did another lap of the block, around the park’s bend so she could lean the bike as far as possible as Spencer’s fingers dug into her hips fiercely. Breathing deep enough that she could hear him over the engine, but he wanted her to keep going. Not ready to let go of her yet, this is the closest they had ever been to each other.

When she finally pulled into the parking lot of their apartment complex, they bumped over the curb and his hand grazed Y/N’s boob, he pulled back so fast it was barely there, she just shook her head and laughed. Parking the bike and putting the kickstand back down.

Spencer let out a sigh, relaxing against her as he rested his chin on her shoulder again.

“Have fun?”

“Surprisingly, yes,” he laughed, his voice deep and dry from breathing with his mouth open, it was cute.

He got off first when his legs were finally able to work again, still vibrating from the rev of the engine he walked like Ariel when she got her legs. It was priceless, no one has reacted like that after getting a ride from them, not even Penelope.

She took her helmet off while still on the bike, shaking her hair out of the ponytail as provocatively as possible before getting off. Spencer’s jaw fell open once more as he watched, breathlessly, just as she expected.

Either he liked them before and never told them, or he was going to start now.

Either way, it excited Y/N to their core, taking his hand once more and leading him inside, this time they could be as close as they wanted to and no one was going to walk in on it. She stopped at her locked apartment door, looking at Spencer as softly as possible so he’d know her feelings were real.

“I know this will cause the teasing we already get to skyrocket, so if you wanted to keep it between us, I fully understand,” she whispered.

“Is that what you want?”

He was so sweet it made her heartache, never before had anyone made her feel like this; like she wasn’t in control of her body or mind, like an override in the system her brain and heart chose Spencer and there was no stopping them.

“I just told a whole bar of people that I’m in love with the guy at the rock show before taking you home in front of everyone,” she laughed, “I don’t care if people know, I just hate when they tease us, they belittle everything we do like we’re 17 forever, it’s not fun for me.”

“I hate it too,” he pressed his lips together awkwardly once more, “I’d like to keep you to myself for a while.”

She cupped his face in her hands and pulled in, pressing her lips against his as they both tried to repress their tightlipped smiles. Finally, finally kissing after all those years staring at each other's lips while they explained something, passionately as ever with the most attentive ears.

“Exactly, me too,” she smiled wider as she pulled back from him, unlocking the front door and pulling him inside for that movie he mentioned.

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187 (dm me if you want me to remove you)

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine

[wasabito]

➽ corruption collab masterlist — hosted by @ultimate-astridwriting and @bummie ♥️

➽ note: definitely gonna come back and edit this a bit more because threesomes are hard as fuck, no pun intended lmao happy v-day everyone!

➽ word count: 3.2k

➽ cw/tags: polyamory + body worship + threesome + praise kink + public sex + choking + handjobs/fingering + vaginal sex + squirting + established relationship

➽ pairing: akaashi x fem!reader x bokuto

💿 1. nasty — ariana grande || 2. come on — jhene aiko

With Valentine's Day fast approaching, it becomes rather apparent that love and romance are in the air. Storefronts are decorated in bubblegum pinks and reds. Flower shops promote their special bouquet arrangements at discounted prices. Even your favorite hole in the wall coffee shop has fallen prey to the spirit of cupid as they announce their new strawberry shortcake dessert and heart-shaped scones.

In lieu of staying home for the third night this week, your boyfriends escort you to dinner at an upscale restaurant in the city. They treat you to a five-course meal and a bottle of wine even pricier than the dinner itself. One would think, after three years of dating, you would no longer be caught unawares by their spontaneity. And yet, here they are, once again pulling the rug from underneath your four-inch heels.

Your gaze flickers from Akaashi's tranquil smile to Bokuto's wide grin.

Adjusting the napkin in your lap, you open your mouth to speak, then pause as the right words fail it come. Brain short-circuiting instead, you let out a confused, "Huh?!"

"We're taking you to Italy!" Bokuto repeats, about ready to hop out of his seat with excitement. He looks to Akaashi, "Three nights in Venice, right 'Kaashi?"

"Yes, we decided on Venice after you told us you'd always wanted to visit. Remember Koutarou's birthday last year?"

"But that was like months ago! Did you two honestly hold onto that drunk little confession this entire time?"

"Of course."

"Yup!!"

It's in moments like these when you are reminded of their history together, first as teammates playing volleyball, and eventually close friends. Not much longer after that, you'd met and fallen for Akaashi, then Bokuto, and thus began the relationship of today. While you find it a little ridiculous, it seems neither of them has any qualms about this trip.

After all, you are their lovely girlfriend. Why wouldn't they want to make your wishes come true?

Bokuto claps his hands, eyes sparkling. "Everything's already planned out, babe, so don't worry your pretty little head, okay?"

You can't argue with that. Reaching over, you take Bokuto's hand in your right and Akaashi's in your left. "Alright, since you two went to all this trouble for me, I guess I'll just sit back and enjoy it."

♥️

Venice is just as beautiful as you imagined.

It looks as if it's floating upon blue-green waters with lots of sunshine, beautiful architecture, and a vibrancy that makes it feel like the city has a life of its own. You are grateful you didn't come by yourself. There is no way you would've enjoyed it without Akaashi and Bokuto at your side.

"We're about a ten-minute walk from Piazza San Marco," Akaashi says as he taps his glasses. His sharp gaze is locked on the map in his hands, likely committing most landmarks and details to memory. "Would you like to check it out?"

"Yeah! Let's do it."

"Off we go, go, go!"

Thus, a majority of your first day in Venice is spent sightseeing.

The three of you take a gondola ride through Canale Grande, then have a peek into the Gallerie Dell'Accademia at Akaashi's insistence, though naturally, you wouldn't have come all the way to Italy and not visited at least one art museum. Afterward, the three of you go to the Le Mercerie shopping district and buy gifts for your friends before finally taking a pit stop for the most delicious gelato in the city.

The sunsets sooner than expected, casting the entire block in deep red hues. Bokuto's mood is greatly influenced by it, and the jetlag certainly doesn't help. He props himself against you, nuzzling you in a way that says he's itching for a kiss.

"Tired, Kou?"

Bokuto hums. "A little... More hungry than anything."

He leans in and pecks your lips with a sated smile. "Maybe I should eat you. I mean, how is it my girl's so damn cute? Not fair, I can't resist."

You snort at Bo's silliness but can't help shivering a little at the tiny implication of his words. He always did like to lay his head on your thighs, leaving a trail of kisses and love bites where he could.

So, the thought of him eating you out made you squeeze your thighs together.

Akaashi approaches with your frozen treats held between his long fingers; having overheard Bokuto earlier, he tucks his wallet back into his pocket.

"We'll get some dinner after we drop off these shopping bags. How does that sound?"

You eagerly take your gelato from him with a smile.

"Sounds like a plan."

Akaashi nods, standing at your other side, close enough to brush elbows though not as close as Bokuto, who was nearly hovering.

The three of you are in one of the narrow, maze-like streetways, basking in the warm, early evening glow. The sweet taste of fruit and cream on your tongue fills you with so much contentment, especially while being with your favorite people. You aren't sure if anything could top the way you currently felt, and the trip has just barely started.

Upon arriving at your temporary place of residence, a quaint little villa on the waterfront just along the shore of Punta Sabbioni Beach, Bokuto immediately kicks off his sandals, dumps the bags, and promptly falls asleep on the couch.

"It's so weird seeing Kou like this." You remark. "On any normal day, he's brimming with almost too much energy, but now he's all tired."

"Well, he did stay up an entire twelve hours on the plane. It was only a matter of time before fatigue caught up to him." Akaashi picks up Bokuto's shoes with practiced ease and places them by the others.

There is a fond smile running along the edges of his mouth as he tucks a throw around the man's larger frame. You help him adjust a spare pillow under Bo's head and then set off to explore the rest of the area.

It seemed like everything about Venice was taken straight out of a romance film, with its cobblestone paths, gothic cathedral architecture, crisp ocean waters, and authentic Italian cuisine. It is no wonder the city's known to draw hapless souls together in romance. Even you fell subject to it, and by each passing moment, you crave to be with your boyfriends.

You are standing at the balcony overlooking the beach, satisfied with your inspection of the villa when Akaashi comes to stand behind you. He holds onto the railings, caging you in his arms, and rests his chin on your shoulder.

"He was right, you know." He murmurs. "You do look good enough to eat."

Blunt as ever. Apparently, something's never change.

Though one might say that Akaashi is as he's always been after high school and college, there is no denying his boost in confidence. After all, he had landed not one but two rather attractive partners.

He kisses your cheek, then your jaw, before latching onto your neck.

The sun's scenic view on the horizon, reflecting upon the beach sands of gold and shimmering orange waves, makes for an excellent backdrop.

You turn to face Akaashi and pull him into a heated kiss. His lips convey a sense of devotion to you, and with each press of them against yours, you can feel just how bad he's yearning for more.

"Kei," you whisper. "Let's go inside."

In a moment, Akaashi whisks you off your feet quite similar to how Bokuto would, though you both don't even make it to the bedroom.

Your other partner had sat up on the sofa, hair flat on one side, scrubbing his eyelids.

"Guys, I'm freaking starving!" Bokuto groans. "Let's get some food or something."

He doesn't even notice how you and Akaashi are breathing heavy or how your clothes are sporting wrinkles that were not previously there. Regardless, Akaashi has food delivered while you went ahead to shower the day's journey away. There are still two days left. You'd get your chance with them at some point.

♥️

Sadly, the entirety of day two is spent indoors. Heavy sheets of rain continue to fall, muddying the shoreline. The three of you huddle on the sofa wrapped in blankets with subtitled movies playing in the background.

Even though you would've much rather been out exploring in the city, just sharing in your boyfriend's warmth would suffice for now. Akaashi hands you a steaming cup of something rich in both color and smell.

"What's this?"

"Just espresso." He takes the empty seat beside you.

You savor the taste while leaning against his shoulder. "Mm, nice."

Bokuto keeps his head on your lap, loving how you thread your fingers into his hair.

It is a tranquil kind of peace that soon lulls you to sleep.

Later, when you finally wake up, it's dark, and you're alone. A blanket had been tucked around your shoulders to shield you from the sudden chill. At some point, the television had been shut off along with every light in the room. You might've been a little scared if not for the voices coming from the second floor. Slowly, you creep up the winding staircase, dragging along the blanket around your shoulders.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Bokuto chuckles. "You're finally up!"

His hair is down, wet from his shower, and he holds a thin towel together around his waist. In his hand is a cellphone, and he doesn't hesitate to shove the screen into your face. "Say hi, Tetsu!"

"Hi Y/N, how's it going?"

You blink slowly, still trying to wake yourself up.

"Kuroo, hey… I'm well. How are you?"

"Great, just about to head out for a late lunch. I hear it's almost ten pm over there."

"Yeah, it's an eight-hour time difference."

You and Kuroo continue to chat while Bokuto towels off his hair and puts on clothes. Afterward, you let Bokuto resume his conversation and join Akaashi on the bed. The man had gone full editor-mode with his glasses propped up in his hair as he read through some work documents.

When you approach, he greets you with a kiss on the cheek. "You look well-rested."

"Is that your way of telling me I have drool on my cheek, Keiji?"

He cracks a tiny smile, eyes taking in your features, then he pokes your cheek with his index finger. "Perhaps."

You scrub the corners of your mouth with your sleeve and drape yourself over Akaashi, work be damned. This was supposed to be a special weekend for relaxing.

"I really wanted to go to the beach today." You pout.

Akaashi interlocks his fingers with yours. "Maybe we still can. It stopped raining a few hours ago."

"Really?!"

You hop off the bed and head for the window. He's right, the rain had long stopped, and the beach lay bare, lit by only the moonlight.

Maybe a short walk to the beach would do you some good.

♥️

The grains of sand feel cold against your feet without the sun to beat down on them, but you don't complain. The air is humid enough on its own that you forgo wearing actual clothes and instead wear a swimsuit along with Bokuto's old Fukurōdani windbreaker.

You walk along the shore, toes digging into the sand, letting the ocean waves lap at your feet to wash them clean again.

At first, it's so eerily quiet without a soul around except you, but even that doesn't last long. You hear Bokuto's voice bellow into the night as he jogs towards you in nothing but swim trunks. Behind him, Akaashi trails slowly after with a blanket in hand.

"We thought you might want some company." He says and spreads the cover on the sand several feet away from the water, content with just watching.

Bokuto grabs your hand and you go running to the water with him, but a second later, you both come sprinting back.

"It's freezing!"

"S-So co-co-cold!"

You collapse on top of him, fingers splayed across his bare chest. However, when you try to sit up, Bokuto has other plans. He keeps you pressed to his chest with both arms around your waist.

"Let me keep you warm, baby!"

You know he meant it in the most innocent way, but you can't help but think other thoughts. Your nerves fray at the image that blooms in your head and spreads like wildfire.

And as Akaashi strokes your back, you know he's probably read your mind.

It's the way your eyes seem to glitter with want that gives it away. Akaashi has always been rather observant, and so your silent cues are something he's always been privy to.

His nimble fingers curve around the nape of your neck, and he tilts his head to capture your lips in a kiss. This one is unlike the one from yesterday. There is no rush, no desire to quicken his haste; instead, he savors the taste of you like it's something to be thoroughly enjoyed.

Underneath you, Bokuto stirs, growing aroused at the sight of his two lovers' kiss. He can't decide whether he wants to join in or sit back and watch. But his large hand comes down to stroke your ass, resulting in a moan you breathe directly into Akaashi's mouth.

"You're not usually so forthcoming, Keiji," you whisper against his lips. "Eager, are we?"

Akaashi pulls away just enough to pepper your face in feathery kisses. "Can you blame me? When I have such a lovely girlfriend here."

As if confirming his words, he slips a hand under your jacket and cups your breast. The pads of his thumb brush along the seams of your bathing suit, caressing your nipple.

"Kou, let's show Y/N just how much we love her, yes?"

Bokuto didn't need to be told twice. He had been in entranced by you and Akaashi, completely taken by the way your lips danced upon one another. But now, he wanted more than anything to touch you, kiss you, hold you.

Bokuto cradles you in his lap, propping your legs open with his knees so Akaashi can kneel in front of you. It didn't take much for him to relieve you of your clothing, namely your swimming bottoms. But the second the air hits your bare cunt, you feel tense.

You aren't sure what it was, but the atmosphere is different. Both Akaashi and Bokuto are so focused on you, it feels like you're under a spotlight.

"You're so pretty, so beautiful," Bokuto says while squeezing your thighs. His warm breath tickles your ear as he presses his nose into your neck. Next, his lips follow suit. "Wanna fuck you, so bad baby. You'd like that, right?"

His words earn him a chuckle from Akaashi, who merely licks two of his fingers, wetting them and sliding into you. Your mouth parts, shaky breaths barely expelled from your lungs. You're hyper-aware of the fact that you're literally being fingered on a beach in the middle of the night, and you can't bring yourself to care. It feels good to be pampered by the two men you love.

For every moan, Akaashi gives you double for your efforts, thrusting his fingers just right, curving them in such a way that has your back arching off Bokuto, who has also taken to fondling your nipples. With every roll of his hips, you feel his cock against your ass, and it pushes you further into Akaashi's fingers.

Your impending orgasm sweeps by so close and yet so far away. All you can do is rock yourself faster.

"Please," you whimper. "W-Wanna come."

Akaashi crooks his fingers, pressing into the perfect spot that sends you hurtling over the edge. Your cunt spasms around his fingers, clenching in intervals you have no control over until his hand is coated with your wet, slick juices that keep coming the more you squirt all over him.

"She's so wet 'Kaashi. Look at our pretty girl."

Akaashi places a chaste kiss on your forehead with a smile.

"She's doing well, so far. Let's see if she can keep going."

Bokuto shimmies his shorts off enough to free his hard cock. He had been uncharacteristically patient until now, but that was soon to change as he lines himself up with your cunt, teasing you with just the tip.

Your whining is unintelligible, but both men understand you more or less.

"Give the pretty girl what she wants," Akaashi says. He strokes his own hard-on at the sight of Bokuto's pushing past your wet folds. "I know she can take more than that."

Bokuto has always been girthy, and it takes you more than a few seconds to adjust to his size, but when you finally do, it feels like heaven.

The position you're in gives Bokuto all the power to thrust into you like a ragdoll. But it's only when you make eye contact with Akaashi that you realize that it's, in fact, the other way around for him in particular. From where he sits, stroking his cock with flushed cheeks and choked moans, you see just how much control you have over him.

"Kiss me." You moan.

Akaashi doesn't let you repeat yourself. He kisses you long and hard even as you grip his throat with one hand and his hair with the other. He kisses you until his lips are red and bruised.

"Good boy. Both of y-you."

Bokuto groans loudly. "Say it again. Keep saying it!"

"Y-You're both so good. I-" your hips stutter against Akaashi's fingers that are rubbing circles into your clit. "Good, so good-"

That's all it takes to take Bokuto over the edge, blowing his load. "Perfect, so fucking perfect."

You can feel another orgasm swelling up inside your belly. You try to tell them but can't, too overcome by the feeling of your body tingling with desire. It's too much, overwhelmingly so; your vision blurs with unshed tears as Bokuto continues to pound into sopping pussy. Pleasure floods every fiber of your being until you're limp and every nerve in your body is set alight.

Bokuto slips out of you easily, a string of his semen following.

You can only look on in a drowsy haze as Bokuto leans over and kisses you and then Akaashi, working him over with a tight fist.

♥️

The following morning, you’re the first to wake, but only because there’s a limb jammed into your back and a heavy weight on your chest. It takes you a moment to realize, but it’s Bokuto’s elbow poking you and Akaashi’s head resting on you.

All three of you are a tangle of limbs in bed, but you aren’t sure how you’d gotten there.

“G’mornin’” Bokuto breathes. His lips caress the column of your neck.

“Morning.”

You shift into a more comfortable position. Though doing so presses Akaashi’s morning wood against your thigh.

“Keiji, you awake yet?”

“Mmm barely.” Akaashi looks up at you through his lashes, then smiles and nuzzles closer into your chest.

Bokuto, content with being your big spoon, reaches over to touch Akaashi, hands cupping his cheek. “It’s Valentine’s Day!”

“That’s true, should we do something special.”

Thinking about the previous night, you feel desire stirring in your gut. “Could we just... do it again?”

Both men look to each other then back at you, sporting matching smiles.

“Why not?”

#bokuaka x reader #bokuto x reader #koutarou bokuto x reader #akaashi x reader #keiji akaashi x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu smut

[vacant--body]

MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING: Su!c!de attempt, graphic description of bl00d, mentions of death, medical procedure talk, loss of pregnancy, PTSD, lots and lots of angst, mentions of drinking.

Female!reader, love triangle with Steve and Bucky (kinda?)

Word count: roughly 2,076

Please don't read if any of these warnings will trigger you :)

I'M SO SORRY PLEASE DON'T HATE ME

✿~~~✿~~~✿~~~✿~~~✿

Bucky's eyes snapped open, his advanced hearing honing in on the soft wails coming from down the hall. It was you, it always you. He inhaled sharply and pushed himself out of his warm bed, his dog tags clinking against his bare chest. It gets worse when Steve isn't here; your night terrors. He's the only one that can rock you back to sleep, soothing your tear stained cheeks and calming your raging mind. Bucky isn't very good at it, but he can get the job done.

His door slid open and he walked quietly down the hallway, careful not to wake anybody else up. Tony had to semi soundproof your room. When you first came to live in the compound, your screams would keep everyone up all night. Now only Bucky and Steve could hear your cries, which often made for sleepless nights. But lately it’s been getting better, which he was thankful for. Both for your sake and his sake.

Bucky stopped in front of your door, expecting it to just slide open like it normally does. But it didn't. Confused, he waved his hand in front of the sensor but it didn't budge. "Friday?" He yawned, annoyed. What couldn't Tony just put in normal doors? They're so much simpler. "What's wrong with the door?"

"It seems that Ms. Y/L/N has locked it." Strange. You never lock it.

"Well, unlock it." He snapped back at the AI.

"I cannot. She has over-ridden my capabilities to unlock it."

"What?" Bucky asked, suddenly more awake. The hairs on his arms stood up and a gut wrenching feeling began to churn in his stomach. He could hear you on the other side, still crying. "Y/N!" Bucky yelled pounding on the door. The cries grew harder. "Y/N open the door!"

"Go away!" You screamed. "Just go!" This wasn't a night terror, you were awake. “I don’t need you, Bucky!”

"Friday, get Tony down here." Bucky yelled, pounding on the door again. "Y/N please just open the door! Let me help!"

"Don't need your help." There was the sound of the bathtub starting up. "Just go."

"Bucky,” A tired voice groaned from behind him. Sam. "It's 2:30 in the morning, why in the hell are you screaming."

"Y/N locked us out." He muttered, pressing his ear against the door. He could hear you whimpering on the other side. "Friday can't open it."

"Friday, get Tony-"

"He is on his way." She replied back. "Ms. Y/N also disabled her cameras. I can't see inside there either."

"Y/N!" Bucky tried again, his voice cracking just enough for him to notice. Hopefully not enough for Sam to notice.

"Does someone wanna tell me why I am down here in the middle of the god damn night?" Another voice said behind them.

"Just get the fucking door open." Bucky snarled. Tony took note of the worry and urgency in his voice and unlatched a panel that was next to the door. He moved some wires around and the door hissed open.

Bucky rushed in and the state of your room hit him like a truck. It was a wreak. Your mattress was halfway off of its frame, your dresser was knocked over with all the clothes torn out, and there was a smashed chair in the corner. You had also punched out your mirror, making Bucky's footsteps crunch as he walked through her room. How did he not hear this? Why didn't he wake up? But that's not what bothered Bucky. His nose instantly picked up on a coppery smell that stung the inside of his nostrils, making him instantly nauseous. He pushed into the bathroom, where somehow the cupboard was shoved in front of.

The sight before him was enough to make him cry and vomit at the same time. You were submerged in the bathtub, the water stained a bright red color. A long shard of glass from the mirror was laying on the floor, stained with your crimson blood. Two deep long cuts had been carved into your forearms. The ringing in his ears slowly subsided and he heard the sound of either Tony or Sam dry heaving behind him. He wasn't sure who it was.

"Friday, prep medical bay. Get Banners ass up. Now." He heard Tony growl.

Bucky sunk to his knees, his sweatpants become stained with the blood soaked water that had sloshed over the edge. "Y/N." He muttered. She was pale. Too pale. "Y/N!" He yelled grabbing her by the shoulders. “Open your fucking eyes and look at me!" You didn't open her eyes, the only movement was coming from your chest. You were taking quick short breaths, which Bucky figured wasn't good. "Please don't do this to me, please. I need you, fuck-" He choked back a sob.

"Buck, we have to get her down to-" Before Sam could finish his sentence, Bucky was lifting you out of the water and took off towards the med bay.

Banner was already down there, a suturing kit already laid out. "How much blood has she lost?" He asked immediately as soon as Bucky came barreling through the doorway.

"A lot." Was all he could manage. He carefully laid you down on the cot. His thoughts were going a mile a minute. You were supposed to be getting better. Sam and Banner were supposed to be helping you, the therapy was supposed to be helping. Not killing you. Why wasn’t it helping? Why were you so selfish? How could you do that to us? To me, to Steve. To this whole team?

"Well good thing most of the team is A Positive so we have some on standby for her." Banner said. Bucky wasn't sure if he was talking to him or to himself.

Banner flushed out your wounds with what looked like water, and carefully began to stitch you up. Bucky noticed the slight shaking in his wrist and he pulled your skin together.

"Where is Steve?" Bucky whispered to Tony, not taking his eyes off of Y/N and Banner. For once, you looked like you were at peace. Your features were smoothed and relaxed, nothing like your previous state.

"His teams on their way back. ETA 4 hours." Tony whispered back.

A heavy silence fell over the med bay. Bucky felt drained. He couldn't keep his thought straight in his head, and it was numbing. He just kept asking the same thing. Why? You were doing so good. You were laughing, smiling, and actually making progress to talk to people outside your comfort zone. Of course you were still having night terrors, Sam said those wouldn't go away for a long time. But other than that you were fine. You said you were fine. He couldn't understand why.

Banner was done with one side. He moved over to the other and began to repeat the process, but one of the machines she was hooked up to began beeping rapidly. His head snapped up and his brows furrowed.

"Friday do a full body scan please." He grunted.

"What? What's wrong?" Bucky pleaded, his skin tightening and his stomach doing loops.

"Blood pressure is dropping. Not good." Was all he heard over the several machines firing at once.

"There is hemorrhaging. Location: uterus." Friday said back. "Surgery is recommended."

Banner quickly finished the last of the sutures and yanked your water and blood soaked sweatpants off. There was a large amount of blood pooling in between your legs.

"Bruce what is that?" Bucky yelled rushing over to them. "What's wrong with her, did she stab herself there?" He felt like he was going to vomit.

"Bucky-" He started as he fumbled with some tubing.

"What are you doing to her?!" Bucky yelled again his voice become more and more distressed. "You're gonna kill her please help her!"

"Tony get him the hell out of here!" Banner screamed finally, the Hulks voice peaking behind his anger and frustration.

Bucky was being yanked out of the bay by Sam and Tony. He could fight back easily, fight them off so he could be with you. But his legs were so shaky he could hardly stand on his own two feet. The windows that looked into the bay dimmed and Bucky caught one last look as Banner yanked down Y/N's underwear. A sob escaped from Buckys lips as he crumpled to the ground. What was happening now? Y/N must be so scared. He was so scared.

He felt that hot tears prick at his cheeks and dribbled down into his beard hair. He was crying. Crying for the first time in who knows how long. He couldn't loose you. You were the only one who truly understood Bucky. You meant too much to him.

"Buck-" Sam started but Bucky just cut him off.

"Leave me alone." He sobbed. It felt like a metal pipe had been shoved down Buckys throat. He couldn’t breathe. "Please just go away." Tony and Sam shared a look before the disappeared down the hallway.

He sat there for what seemed like days. But it was only hours. Soon enough Steve came jogging down the hallway to where Bucky sat.

"Buck." Steve gasped, kneeling down next to him. "What happened?"

"I thought she was having a night terrors." Bucky's voice was raw and it hurt to swallow. The crying must have stopped hours ago, but he couldn't remember when it ended. "But she locked me out. Tried to...tried to..."

"Oh god." Steve whimpered, understanding what he was saying. “Is she...?" Bucky shook his head.

"She started bleeding. I think Banners still doing surgery." Steve's face was screwed tightly together as he stood back up. Bucky couldn't tell what he was feeling. He paced the hallway for a bit before he slid down against the wall across from Bucky, his eyes blankly staring at the door. He could see the trembling in his chest when he inhaled.

They sat there in silence for about another hour, when suddenly, the doors to the med bay swung open. Banners eyes fell on them. He sighed heavily and put his hands in his pockets.

"What? What is it?" Bucky pleaded getting to his feet, which caused Steve to stand up.

"Is she okay?" Steve asked, his brows closely knit together.

"Yeah. She's stable. Woke up for a few minutes but she's sleeping now. I had to give her some medicine to calm her down. And I had to..." He trailed off. "Restrain her. She's very agitated." Bruce exhaled and wrung his hands together.

"Then what happened? Why did you have to do surgery." Bucky prodded. He could tell Banner was hiding something.

"The bleeding was caused by a mixture of shock and her blood pressure tanking. I couldn't-" He cleared his throat like he was keeping back tears. "I couldn't save the fetus. She miscarried."

It felt like someone had punched Bucky in the gut. Fetus? Miscarried? She was pregnant?

"From what I could tell she was about 15 weeks along. I ran the DNA because I wasn't...I wasn't sure who the father was."

"I had a child?" Steve whimpered. Tears were falling freely down his face.

"No, Steve.” He whispered softly. “Bucky, it was yours.”

"What? No. That's impossible." Steve scoffed. "You must have your science shit mixed up. There is no way."

"No, he's right." Bucky whispered, absolute shocking talking grip of his body.

"I'm sorry. It was a boy."

"What? No. No! It's wrong. Go test it again Banner! I know it's wrong!"

"Steve-"

"You were fucking her?!" Steve screamed, turning to Bucky. "You knew I was in love with her and you were fucking her?!"

"It was once Steve! Almost 3 months ago! We were drunk and you were away on a mission and I came onto her!" Bucky bargained, staring into the flames of his best friend’s eyes.

"You fucked my girl! My girl!" Steve was irate, barely able to contain himself.

"She isn't yours Steve, you're not even together!"

"I told her that I loved her! And you went and fucked her anyway! What, do you always follow your dick!? I bet that's why she refuses to look at you!"

"No, she told me that she loved me!" Bucky screamed back, his voice echoing in the hallway as silence washed over them. Bucky took a deep breath. "She said it first. And I told her it was a mistake and should be with you." He said quietly.

Steve let out an animalistic growl, and his fist made contact with the side of Bucky's cheek and the back of his head smashed against the wall.

"I love you Bucky." Y/N's soft voice said. Your head was currently buried in Bucky's bare chest. "It's you. It's always has been." You whispered.

Bucky reached down and cupped her cheek, making you look at him. He has been waiting to hear that since they first met. He didn't believe in love at first sight but ever since he first laid eyes on you, he started to believe.

"You don't mean that, doll." He muttered back. Alcohol was still running its course through their bodies. "You're drunk."

"Drunk words are a sober mans thoughts."

"Y/N-"

"I want you Bucky. Just you. No more going back and forth between you and Steve. I can't do that anymore, Bucky. Please believe me." You pleaded, your large eyes staring into his.

"You deserve someone like Steve, not like me. You can't love me." He sighed, letting go of your face.

"I love Steve. He’s amazing and kind, but I love I have for him isn’t like how I love you.”

"No. You love the thought of me." He snapped, rising off the bed. "But you don't love me Y/N. I promise you, you don't. You shouldn't." He gathered his clothes from the floor and shimmied into them. He reached the door and stopped at the sound of your voice.

"But-" Bucky winced at the sound of your voice as it was filling with tears.

"I'm sorry." He whispered turning away, his own eyes brimming with tears. "I don't deserve you. You can't love me. I'm sorry."

part 2

#bucky x female reader #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky imagine #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky fic #bucky oneshot #marvel imagine #mcu #i'm so sorry lmao #please don't hate me #steve rogers #love triangle #triggering content #bucky drabble #bucky deserves love #comfort character #bucky angst