#it’s so weird that they just made an innuendo in one card story and then never again. like what the fuck was up with the wxs xmas event

[thrilling-oneway]

One of my things about Tsukasa that’s really good to say without warning is that he makes the innuendo in the singular instance of there being one in the game but I can’t post that because I don’t want to be the reason some 12 year old gets their internet privileges taken away

#it’s so weird that they just made an innuendo in one card story and then never again. like what the fuck was up with the wxs xmas event #it’s such a weird event because it feels very. experimental? #i know it was written very early on bc oster project said she wasn’t given much about the story #but like. it’s a duet comm for some reason. there’s two vsingers on the gacha for some reason. #there’s an innuendo in one of the card stories for some reason #the only weird thing they did again was having two vsingers as cards except they never put them both on gacha again #i have a post in my drafts where ive been compiling irrelevant trivia about tsukasa that only exists for a joke #last i checked i think there was over 30 things in that post

[see-arcane]

Ok here goes

The Red Book 📕

Unknown and Terrible 🌑⚰️

Long Night Drive 🚙 (if I ever travel again to the USA I am doing so again why are night roadtrips so eerie there what happened)

The Harker Records 🖤 🖋️

Death's Dogs 🐕☠️

The M.A.D Gods 😤

Bloody Anniversary 💒

Lady Luna Blue 🔵

The Red Book 📕: A collection of some more explicitly saucy supernatural works. I tend to kind of tiptoe around any direct sexual/erotic aspects in things I write, so this would be more like a writing exercise than anything else, just to see how I can rework (disdainful literati voice) ~smut~ into something meatier ha ha than just a one-and-done indulgence shot. I don't see this one being put together anytime soon, as, again, I'm still prone to side-stepping outright raunchiness versus innuendo. But we'll see what happens.

Unknown and Terrible 🌑⚰️: Short version? Jonathan Harker winds up as the new Dracula following a very bloody climax in Transylvania. He uses Scholomance magic to pull Francis' reincarnation bullshit out through his nose, brings Mina back as a new soul, and tries to get her back. It is very much about me being a petty prick and proving Jonathan and Mina = The Better Romance and the Better Tragic Vampire Lovers. Choke on it, Francis.

Long Night Drive 🚙: This one fittingly only seems to haunt me when I'm driving after dark on empty roads. The premise being a sort of liminal What If? What if someone started a long drive at night and neither the road or the night ever ended? What if the last wrong turn turned them off of Earth's road map and onto Someplace Else's? Ideally this would only hit the driver on a night of Importance. One of those 'things are crossing over' nights--and they crossed over in the wrong direction. Uh oh.

The Harker Records 🖤 🖋️: Oh, but this one gives me brain itches. It's hazy at the edges, but it'd be a sort of fusion between anthology and purposeful/linked Big Narrative. Basically, the Harkers and their friends start becoming unofficial monster hunters/recorders/aides. I always love when paranormal stories have it work out so that if you're stamped once by the uncanny, the uncanny continues to gravitate toward you. I'd like to see them interact with myriad eerie happenings across public domain horrors together. Peak couple's activity <3

Death's Dogs 🐕☠️: An examination of how Death has an abundance of dogs with various tasks bred into them. And how Dracula maybe crossed the paths of more than one spectral hound during his English holiday.

The M.A.D Gods 😤: Augh, it's gathered so much dust, BUT I STILL LOVE IT AND MY WEIRD NUCLEAR NEON YELLOW PANTHEON SO MUCH. The gist is that 1) The Universe was made by one entity basically ejecting the bulk of Its body mass away so Matter could happen and flourish 2) That shit's tiring 3) The Atomic God (named because It is responsible for every atom in the universe) closes Earth around it like shell/blanket for an eons-long nap 4) It creates two guard-gods, Maker and Breaker, to keep any cosmic horror jerks out of the neighborhood--It ditched them to make the known universe so It could have some peace, finally. 5) Hijinks ensue as Maker and Breaker dutifully chokeslam any Lovecraftian interlopers out of the galaxy and spend their free time watching humanity fuck shit up

Bloody Anniversary 💒: An unexpected meetup of various couples in various states of actually being in love, each celebrating their anniversary. One of these couples is older than they seem. And maybe not celebrating the anniversary anyone would expect.

Lady Luna Blue 🔵: Started out as alternative what-if for who the Pretty Girl in Piccadilly might be. She could still go that route, but I think my imagination has long since run off with her into more original territory. Lady Luna Blue is her professional name; at least as Victorian era mediums and mystics go. In-between card readings and seances, she catches the attention of something with much more supernatural weight than she's prepared for. And it happily takes advantage when she invites any 'wandering spirits' in.

#writing about writing #my writing

[joshslater]

The Cards

Attempting to repost stories previously flagged as too risqué for tumblr. This is some sort of story based on captions made by Himbo Heaven. Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.  

"And it has to be one of these four?" you ask the man in the armchair across your coffee table. "We've been over this already. Just make your decision," he says, not even looking up from the device in his hand. You make a defeated sigh and pick the top card from the stack.

Thank God it comes with dumb, you think as you can't imagine living like that and keeping your wits about you. Deep down you wouldn't mind looking better, you know that. It's not like you are remarkably ugly. At worst you could be described as unremarkable, but handsome people have always behaved in a way that annoyed you. Like they got this genetic gift and act like they are better than everyone. The irony here is to get it literally gifted, or forced rather, to become the ultimate end of vain entitlement. No, you correct yourself. There was that "made to fulfill" part too, which makes you conflicted because it somehow makes it better holistically while also being worse personally. An ornamental slut eager to please. Frustrated you throw the card down on the table and pick the next one.

This is even less appealing to you. The first one at least had some air of luxury, but this is just crude. Even the description doesn't bother with any sophistication but simply states "Dude, bro". You've worked hard to never be anyone's dude or bro. There should be a comma after "socks" shouldn't it? And another one after caps. Why did it have to say "dumb"? Actually, that whole last run-on sentence sounded pretty horrible. You throw the card on top of the first one in disgust, though it glides almost to the middle of the table before it settles. You're trying to shake the mental image of socks, caps, and a locker room with sweaty athletes having sex with each other.

"Do they all have to be so vulgar?" you ask, but the man ignores the question, still staring at his device. You pick the third card from the stack and suppress a laugh.

That's not going to happen, is it? Just imagine being one of those sex-obsessed people, always trying to score, always making innuendos and flirting. Such a life would be so lacking, with no art, no literature, no real human connections, no science, no awe for the wonders of the world, no plans for how to make the world a better place. Just...

"One more minute then I'll pick one for you," the man interrupts. You throw the card next to the other two and pick up the last one.

Finally something without sex in the text, but then it has "Slut" right there in the title. In a way this is just the jock again, but worse in almost all aspects. None of the aesthetic part, no hints of any life outside of the gym or team or friends, and unlike the jock text an unqualified reduction in intelligence. If the last one's life sounded empty, this one is even more tragic.

"Fuck it! I'll take..."

Trophy Boy

It's the one with the softest landing after all. Sure, some people would be weirded out by a meticulously sexualized and objectified man, but there must be so many who'd love to care for him.

The man in the armchair nods and makes a slight motion with his hands. You recognize the scent of lavender, no its cum, no bubblegum, no lube. It's over so quickly you think you must have been mistaken. You feel warm, not in a feverish way, but as if you've been out in the sun a tad too long. You're thirsty but can't resist licking your lips. Your lips feel different. Your mouth feels different. Did the transformation already start? You're just about to ask him when your clothes turn to powder, perhaps more like sand than flour, because it falls off you cleanly to reveal the smooth, tan, perfect skin of your toned arms. A swirl of pride, horniness, and disgust wash over you as you trace the rest of your meticulously toned body with your gaze.

You lick your lips again. Your mouth is lacking something. Shouldn't there be something happening to you? Some sort of change, for some reason you can't quite recall. You think of bubblegum. Your mouth lacks bubblegum! There's a man you don't recognize getting up from an armchair, reaching for some cards at the table next to you. Or a lolly. A pink strawberry lolly to suck on. "Who are you?" you ask the man. He's fit, dressed in plain but expensive clothes. You stare at his groin as he collects the cards. A dick! Your mouth is lacking a dick to suck on. "It doesn't matter. You won't see me again," the man says and heads towards the door. "Aww," you whine and try to make a sad face, pouting your lips. There's a big glass bowl with strawberry lollies on the table though, so you stand up, adjust your thong, and head over there to find something to suck on. If only they made them cum flavored.

Jock

Once the transformation is done, this must surely be the best option. To be surrounded by teammates that support each other. Bro culture may be toxic from the outside, but as a dumb member it must be great.

The man in the armchair nods and makes a slight motion with his hands. Your eyes widen as knowledge rush into you, rules for sports you barely knew existed, famous players, games from history, not just who won or lost, but where it was played, who was in it, the notable swings of fortune. You know not just the rules, but how to apply them in practice, what to do differently when the grass is wet or when the sun is in your back. You know how to save every second when putting on football pads. You know what underwear chafes, what fabrics are good for running, how to pour out the contents of your training duffel on the floor so all the sweaty clothes dry over night. You know how to pace yourself in beer pong to come out winning more often than not, and how to cure hangover the day after in time for training. You know how to suck your bro's dick to keep him on the edge for as long as possible. You know how to recognize how many shots into the evening the teammates will let you make out with them with sloppy kisses. You know how to move your body to keep your bros inside you for as long as possible, and have them come back for seconds once they've creamed inside of you and recharged.

"What the fuck!" you gasp, as if gasping for air. As if you were drowning in knowledge you didn't want in the first place. You're panting heavily, frantically scanning the room with your eyes as if you've just woken up from a nightmare. You see the man across the room, sitting in the armchair, and suddenly you're reminded of what is happening. The cards, the choice, the transformation. Only you haven't transformed. You look the same as when you came in through the door from school. Doing what though?

You struggle to remember anything that happened during the day. You can't even remember what school you are attending, or what subjects. You glance at the wall clock and know there is basket on ESPN in 40 minutes. You desperately don't want to know that. You look around the room for any hints of what you are studying, of who you really are. You only see a line of football gear strewn on the floor, giving off a faint odor of sweat and liniment cream.

Your panting isn't coming down though, but instead is intensifying as if you were sprinting. You've been too confused and preoccupied to notice just how profusely you're sweating. You feel it one of the legs first, but within seconds you are cramping all over your body. Not just like a big ball of tensed muscle, but fading in and out all over the body seemingly randomly. You try to get out of your seat, but collapse on the floor writhing in pain and convulsions. Eventually the cramps begin to subside and you are aware that the only remaining discomfort is where your too tight clothes cut into you when you move. You're also aware that someone is walking around above you, getting ready to leave your apartment.

"Dude. Fuck me..." you exhale as you roll on your back, exhausted and soaked in sweat, waiting for your heartbeat to go down.

"Many will," you hear someone answer before he closes the door behind him.

Cumdump

It's the only one where you don't lose your smarts if the texts can be trusted. A smoking hot body and boosted libido must be possible to work with.

The man in the armchair nods and makes a slight motion with his hands. You feel both your butt cheeks spasm quickly, as if you flexed your muscles there for half a second. Then it happens again. And again. Every five seconds or so there's a contraction of your butt muscles. Then the fourth time it's followed by a quick clenching of your sphincter. Same with the next one. It's like involuntary kegel exercises. You can feel the contractions getting deeper each time, as if you are clenching harder or more muscles are involved. By the tenth or so contraction it's like a wave that travels from your butt muscles through your ass and out your dick. You can feel an erection slowly building, but the whole thing doesn't feel sexual in any way. It's just like an annoying hiccup. One you imagine would prevent you from walking.

It goes on for minutes and you are just about to ask the man how long this would take, if something is wrong, or if you were required to do something, when the contractions suddenly expand both up and down. You feel your thighs flexing as well as your abs. Every contraction is reaching further away into your body, like a ripple of flexing muscles, always starting from your butt cheeks. You're starting to feel fatigued around your ass and shift around to get more comfortable when you hear a short, ripping sound. It's your underwear you realize. Standing up would be unthinkable with the incessant muscle contractions, so you are limited in what you can do in between the increasingly violent flailings, but you manage to discover that your ass has been growing into a bubble butt, explaining the wardrobe failure. You scoot down into a half-sitting position that is at least closer to comfortable.

You don't know if the frequency had been increasing all along or not, but the thrusts throughout your body happen much faster now, every two seconds or so. The ripple of contractions has extended to basically cover your entire body, all the way down to your feet and all the way up your chest, neck, and out your arms. There's barely any time between one wave being finished and the next one starting. While your dick started out just getting hard it is now radiating horny energy. You're making a small, short moan for every contraction, more of a yelp really, but it is when the wave hits your dick you make the sound.

Then suddenly one wave, once it hit the throat, bounced back down the chest. It goes on a while like that until slowly, slowly the contractions drift out of sync with each other that it's really two different waves. One from the ass and out and one from the throat and down. They are timed differently and drift in and out of phase with each other.

This just goes on and you lose track of time. If asked you wouldn't be able to tell if it had been an hour or four. At some point you just gave up on trying to do anything about it, other than inching into the best possible position. You stopped trying to make sense of it, why it was happening, when it would stop. You just are.

"This is the one I enjoy the most," the man in the armchair says.

Startled you look at him, snapped out of your trance, and everything stops. No more waves of contractions. At some point you had shifted position to just lie on your back with your bent legs up in the air, arms behind your neck. You're confused to see silky smooth legs, shaved cock and balls, and smooth abs glazed in precum from all the droplets have have been flung around. You're just as much confused because you are naked as the fact your body looks like it does. But most surprising of all is the emptiness your feel from the lack of the pounding in your ass and your throat. The deep craving you feel to have that continue and the pervasive horny feeling that is like nothing you have ever experienced before. You know of course what was done to you. You selected the card.

"Why?" "All the other options are just stupidly content with what they become. You on the other hand have a whole journey of coming to terms with it at your own pace. That's why nothing in your apartment has changed." "Perhaps I am content?" you say as you sit back up properly on your new, plump ass and tentatively try to squeeze them to get back the feeling of being thrusted. You reek of sweat and cum after what essentially were hours of being ghost fucked.

He smiles a wry smile. "Well, you can stay with this decor if you want. Or, if you want me to fuck you, I can give you the cumdump interior and wardrobe." "Fuck me!" you say without hesitation.

Muscle Slut

It wouldn't be the first time someone would be fixated on getting the perfect body, and there's a lot of money to be made if you just play your card right. It's the only grown-up decision really.

The man in the armchair nods and makes a slight motion with his hands. You feel a flash of heat, like when stage pyrotechnics go off at a concert, but without any blinding light. No light at all, just a quick, searing heat that instantly begins to mellow out. You look at one of your arms and see it is deeply tanned, not quite hazel nut, but not far off, and completely smooth as if you've waxed it. It almost looks shiny to you as you turn the arm in the soft light of the apartment. You can easily imagine how it would look with some oil on, how it would bring out the contrasts. Heck, even a moderate sweat would send you glistening like a well-polished wood carving.

Fascinated you open and close your hand, watching the tendons and muscles work just beneath the skin on the inside of your forearm, creating ridges for the light to play with. One of the veins catches your attention as wraps around to the other side of your arm. You turn it and are surprised by all the veins snaking up and down the arm. It's exciting though, and mesmerizing. While still looking intently at the arm as you twist and turn it and your hand, you begin stroking your groin. Your arm never interested you this much before. Clearly not, because you never realized before how beautiful your veins are, or that you even had them.

You start to tension the muscles in your arm, as much as you can. You have never flexed before in your life, so you are not sure how to do it. To your disappointment not much happens. Perhaps you are imagining it, but the veins on the arm look even more pronounced. You make another attempt to flex the arm, this time with a bit more proper technique and your eyes widens as you see the response. The bicep bulge is like you've never seen it before. You fumble with your other hand to get it into your pants and underwear to fully grip your erect cock, but you don't want to look away from your arm. You don't want to miss a thing, as you relax and flex it again. This time it grows even larger than the last. Transfixed you flex and relax, flex and relax over and over, just admiring how the skin moves over the muscles, the shape and size of the football sized bulge, and how the light gives it all the most beautiful shimmer you've ever seen.

Suddenly a fear wash over you that you are just focusing on one part of your body, and not looking at the whole. How all body parts should be in proportion with each other, and balanced between both sides. Almost in panic you stop jerking off at inspect your other arm. "Fucking ace!" you shout as you see your other arm is just as muscular, just as bronzed, just as vascular, and just as beautiful as your first arm. You flex both arms into a front double biceps pose, and just wished you had a mirror in front of you.

You look down at your body. Your naked torso shows large pecs jutting out over a strong core with abs that look good even sitting down in this position. Below that your rock-hard dick hangs out of your body hugging trunks that cling to your ass and massive legs. You see a lot to be proud of, but just as much that needs work.

But you do have a mirror in front of you. There's one in each room of the apartment save for the kitchen. You tuck your dick back into the trunks, jump up and approach the mirror. You want to go through your competition program before hitting the gym.

"I trust you'll be all right then," said the man you had forgotten about. "No, I'll be the best," you answer, not looking away from the mirror and your side chest pose.

[homoose]

Weird is Good

Summary: A story about two people tryna make it through the age of COVID-19 in a country where people are fucking dumb lmao. My hc is that Spencer would be like wtf at all these science-denying anti-maskers. Also, two teachers just tryna make it through quarantine and remote teaching in a one bedroom apartment (this is taking place during a mandatory leave/lecture cycle).

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff

Warnings/Includes: no warnings. reader is both a kindergarten teacher and a bruh girl with a pirate’s mouth. lots of Spencer x factz.

Word count: 3.1k

———

“We’re home for the next two weeks. ”

Spencer looked up from his desk to see Y/N kicking off her shoes, dropping her bag, and walking directly to the sink. “Starting when?”

“We get to go in on Monday to say goodbye to the kids and get any materials we might need. Then we’re home for two weeks. They’re calling it an early, extended spring break.” Y/N began her hand washing routine. As a kindergarten teacher, she’d always been a strict hand-washer. In the time of COVID, she had only become more zealous. She looked at Spencer. “Have you heard anything?”

“Since we’re so close to the end of the semester, the department head thinks they’ll try to finish out the year as normal.” He set down his pen. “I honestly don’t know. It will all depend on whether people follow the CDC guidelines. The spread of any virus is deducible mathematically, and SARS-COV2 is no different. Based on the outbreak in Italy prior to their lockdown, we can accurately describe its reproductive number, or Rt, to between 2.43 – 3.10.”

Y/N shut off the water and dried her hands on a paper towel. “In layman's terms, Dr. Reid.”

“The Rt tells how many people are infected by the contagious host,” he explained. “In the case of this strain, each infected person is infecting between two and three others. For comparison, the standard seasonal flu has an average Rt between 1.4 and 1.7.”

“So in other words, fucking yikes,” Y/N groaned. She moved to perch on the edge of Spencer’s desk.

“Indeed,” Spencer agreed. “We know how fast the flu can travel through an office or a classroom, so imagine if it was two times as transmissible. But it's also really important to understand that this number changes depending on the mitigations in place. Even prior to full lockdown, mask wearing and social distancing was somewhat common in Italy, so it’s likely the uncontrolled Rt is higher.”

“Jesus Christ.” Y/N scrubbed a hand over her face. “We’ll probably never go back.”

Spencer rubbed his hand up from her ankle to the inside of her knee. “The good news is there’s nothing special about this virus compared to others in terms of how it spreads— it’s just aerosols. So if everyone wears their mask, we’ll be able to keep the spread low.”

⧭⧭⧭

“It’s safe to say that everyone did not wear their fucking masks,” Y/N snapped. She watched from the couch as Mayor Bowser delivered the news that DC Public Schools would remain closed for the remainder of the year. “This is crazy. I mean, I knew it was coming because people in this country are absolute buffoons.” She looked at Spencer, fingers pressed to her temple. “But holy shit, are we ever going to be able to go outside again?”

“With schools and universities closed, people working remotely, and lockdown orders in place, the Rt in the US could stay low. But masks have to be worn at all times, and social distancing has to be strictly followed.” Spencer pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I just— I can’t believe people are refusing to wear masks. The empirical, peer-reviewed data clearly shows—”

“This is ‘Murica, boy.” Y/N mocked. “Ain’t no tyrannical government gonna tell me what to do!” She rolled her eyes. “Trust me, your choice to abstain from social media is paying dividends to your sanity right now.”

Spencer looked truly dumbfounded, setting his newspaper down in his lap. “But that’s just it. It’s not just in social media circles.” He gestured to the article in front of him. “This economist just argued for ‘reopening’ the economy using the justification of herd immunity. Herd immunity can be a plausible option for less lethal diseases. But this virus is not like varicella—the chickenpox,” he clarified at Y/N’s raised eyebrow. He waved his hands around in exasperation. “Putting aside the fact that one facet of herd immunity is vaccinating as many people as possible, its success completely hinges on the Rt of a disease. If you model a population based on an Rt of 2.5, herd immunity wouldn’t be achieved until approximately sixty percent of the population has been infected. Consider that the US population is currently 328 million, and sixty percent of that is 196.8 million. The current mortality rate for SARS-COV2 is 3.06 percent. 196,800,000 multiplied by 0.0306 is 6,022,080. Over six million people would die. It's simple mathematics.”

Y/N let out an exasperated breath. “It used to be that simple math and facts were enough. Now you’ve got basement scientists who think they know better than actual, literal scientists who’ve spent their entire lives studying these things.” She ran a hand over her face and gestured at the news conference still playing. “How long do you think it’ll be before we’re both trying to teach from this tiny ass living room?”

⧭⧭⧭

“Goooooooood morning, kindergarten! It’s Friday, and no Friday is a bad Friday!” Spencer smiled. As he poured his first cup of coffee, he hummed along with Y/N and 23 six-year-olds as they sang their morning song. Observing fourteen days of remote kindergarten from across the living room had given Spencer a new appreciation for elementary school teachers, particularly Y/N. She sang, danced, conducted science experiments, held puppet shows, read stories, led art projects, and fielded questions for four hours a day— three hours less than when they were in the school building. He was exhausted by proxy.

But he was also grateful for the opportunity to watch Y/N in her element. Even though they were at home, she still got dressed every day in bright, patterned sweaters and dresses— her Ms. Frizzle attire, she’d told him once. She was able to channel her personality into a kid-friendly version that her students clearly adored, never afraid to be silly or strange to get their attention and keep them engaged during the long days. He worked from home whenever possible, strangely happy to have the background noise of kindergarten over his quiet university office.

...

“Okay, but where do I put the biiiiiiiiiiiig number?” Y/N made a wide gesture with her arms. “Ariah, where should I put it? In the big box, yes! But oh no, my small number needs a friend. My three is soooooo lonely!” Y/N drew her mouth into a pout. “DJ, how can I help my three not be so sad? You’re absolutely right, let’s put that two right next to him in our number bond.”

…

“I’ve been waitin’  for a girl to mute,” Y/N sang into the gold karaoke mic. “I said, muuuuuuuuuute, I’m blinded by loud sounds. No, I can’t hear the friend who’s tryin’ to talk.”

…

“Oh boy. Kev, honey, we can— we can see you. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. We can see all of you. I can’t turn your camera off, buddy. You gotta— there we go.”

…

“Mute please, I need— I need everybody to mute, please. Oh my goodness where is that music coming from?” Y/N frantically searched for her index card with the picture of the mute icon, as the sounds of a highly inappropriate song blared through the computer speaker. “I know it’s so loud, guys. Why is my mute power gone?! This is why we need to make sure we keep our mute button on, kindergarten.”

…

“No sweetie, it’s not time to log off yet. I’m sorry, I know it’s such a long day. We have about an hour left. Do you guys wanna do a countdown? It’s the fin-al count-down! Do-do doo dooooo. Do-do-d-do-dooo…”

…

“Annnnnd, I should see all my friends on mute. William, hang on just a second. All my friends need to look at my picture, it’s an oval with a line through it… Okay, William, what did you bring to show us?” Y/N leaned toward the computer screen. “Grandma Kathy? O-oh, she’s— she’s in the—“ Y/N’s eyes widened. “Is that— is that an urn? Oh wow. Um, well, wow. It’s beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing that with us, William. Grandma Kathy, may she rest in peace.”

⧭⧭⧭

A week into Y/N teaching kindergarten from their living room, the university had announced its transition to online coursework for the remainder of the academic year. Spencer had to host his first zoom lecture, and he was absolutely dreading it.

“Spence, it’s going to be fine. It’s not like you’ve never been on a video conference,” Y/N assured him. She sat cross-legged on the couch, waiting for him to let her in to his practice zoom.

“Yeah, but I wasn’t running those meetings. I just showed up.” He squinted at the computer screen. “Are you in?”

Y/N barely resisted the urge to make a joke, knowing that Spencer probably wouldn’t appreciate the innuendo. “No, you have to admit me.”

“What do you mean? How do I do that?”

“There should be a box with a button that says admit.”

Spencer gestured at the computer. “Well there’s a bunch of boxes— which one should I be looking at?”

Y/N sighed and got up from the couch. “IQ of 187 and can’t find the box.”

Spencer dragged a hand through his hair. “I know I shouldn’t find this so difficult. I’m sorry you have to waste your time on this.”

“Hey, it was a joke.” Y/N grabbed his hand from where he was frustratedly pulling on his frazzled curls. “I’m sorry. That was mean and you’re already stressed enough.” She used her free hand to smooth his hair back into place. She scrunched her nose. “I love you and your limited technology skills. And honestly it’s kind of nice to have one thing I can actually teach you about.” She squeezed his hand, leaning over him to peer at his computer screen. “All right, let’s find that elusive admit button.”

When the day of his lecture rolled around, Spencer thanked all the atoms in the observable universe that Y/N had a break during his class. Within the first ten minutes, he’d managed to accidentally kick himself out of his own meeting and then somehow lose track of the screenshare button.

“No one can see me and I don’t know what happened to the screenshare option. It was there and now it’s just… gone,” he told Y/N.

She leaned over his desk, eyes tracking over the screen and mouse clicking around the desktop. “How in the world did you manage to block your camera?”

“I don’t know! I didn’t even touch it!” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t understand how it’s even possible to be this bad at this.”

Y/N bumped his knee with her own, pulling up his camera settings and preferences. “Relax. You can’t be good at everything. It’s a refreshing reminder that you’re a mere mortal like the rest of us.” With a few rapid clicks, Y/N unblocked his camera and located the screenshare bar. “There. Crisis averted. I’m just going to share your whole screen in case you want to toggle between application windows. So just be aware that they’ll be able to see everything. And then you just click here when you’re ready to stop sharing.”

When Y/N turned her head toward him to check that he understood, Spencer grabbed the side of her face and caught her lips in a kiss. Y/N smiled against his mouth, heart speeding up as he traced the seam of her mouth with his tongue.

“Um, Dr. Reid? Your um— your camera’s working now.”

Spencer nearly fell out of his chair, his cheeks about the color of the Leave Meeting icon. Y/N dropped her head, debating whether she wanted to laugh or let the earth open up and swallow her whole. She ultimately decided to compose herself, stepping back and giving a little wave to the sea of tiny, grinning zoom faces before slinking out of frame, miming sorry to one very mortified professor.

⧭⧭⧭

“Would you want to be our mystery reader next week?” Y/N asked, bookmarking the page of her novel and reclining back in bed. “You just have to pick a story to read. Oh, and think of four clues about your identity to give the kiddos.”

Spencer raised his eyebrow, continuing to read. “Any story?”

Y/N laughed. “Well they’re six, so maybe hold off on the Chaucer and Bradbury for now. A picture book would be preferable.”

“Did you know that the first picture book, Orbis Sensualium Pictus, or Visible World in Pictures, was published in 1658?” He looked up from his own book. “Czech educator John Amos Comenius wanted to create a book that would be accessible to children of all levels of ability. The educational theories he explored are actually still in practice in the field of early childhood education.” He turned toward her from his spot under the covers. “For example, when you have your students make a hissing sound and slither their arms when they produce the sound represented by the letter s? Comenius included an alphabet chart with various animal and human sounds representing each letter. He wanted to demonstrate that the incorporation of multiple senses could help increase learning.”

“I guess you don’t fix what isn’t broken,” Y/N mused. “300 years later, and we’re still using the same methods.”

“362, actually,” Spencer corrected.

She gave him a look. “Maybe we can save the Comenius for another time.”

“The genre of children’s literature encompasses some of the most profound and philosophical story telling of all time.” Spencer returned his attention to his reading.

���...So is that a yes?”

Spencer smiled. “I’ve got a book in mind.”

“And clues,” Y/N reminded him, snuggling down under the covers and reopening her book. “We need some fun clues, mystery reader.”

…

“Kindergarten, we have a very special mystery reader this week. Oh man, are you ready for the first clue? The mystery reader loves jell-o! Raise your little hand if you love jell-o, too. Okay, kindergarten, I see you! Lots of jell-o lovers in the house.”

…

“Okay, clue number two! Our mystery reader works as a community helper— remember we learned about all different kinds of community helpers; firefighters, nurses, police officers. But if the mystery reader could be anything, they’d want to be a cowboy! How cool is that?”

...

“Clue number three for our mystery reader!” Y/N sucked in a gasp. “You guys. The mystery reader can do magic. Oh my goodness, I am so excited for Friday,” she sing-songed. “Will they show us a trick? Hmmm, I don’t know. Maybe if you ask nicely.”

…

“Okay, my friends, the last clue. The mystery reader loves reading. They read every day, and they’ve been reading since 1983! Yes, that was a very long time ago.”

⧭⧭⧭

“Okay, any last guesses about who our mystery reader might be?” Y/N questioned.

“I think it’s your dad,” a little voice called out.

Spencer made a choking noise from where he sat, slightly off camera. Y/N laughed. “The mystery reader is decidedly not my dad, Keyshon. Remember I showed you guys the picture of him— my dad’s a farmer, so he’s kind of already a cowboy.” She clapped her hands together. “Okay, without further ado, drumroll please... Our mystery reader is…” Y/N pushed her desk chair out of frame to allow Spencer to roll in, holding her hands out. “Spencer!”

He gave a little wave, smoothing his hair, suddenly painfully self-aware and nervous about the opinions of two dozen six-year-olds. “Hi guys.”

“You’re the boy on Ms. Y/L/N’s phone.”

“Your hair is so fluffy!”

“Do you have a cowboy hat?”

“I like your sweater.”

“Can you really do magic?”

“What’s your favorite jell-o?”

“Whoa, okay, let’s remember our mute button,” Y/N, holding up her index card. “I promise you’ll get to ask Spencer all your questions after he reads the story.”

Spencer smiled at the excited faces beaming through the screen. “Yes, I’m on Ms. Y/L/N’s phone; I don’t own a cowboy hat, yet; yes, I really can do magic; and the red jell-o is my favorite.”

Y/N watched with interest as Spencer pulled out his book. He’d been secretive about his choice, so she was as curious as her students.

“This is one of my favorite stories. It’s written by Munro Leaf, and illustrated by Robert Lawson. It’s The Story of Ferdinand.” Spencer held the cover up to the camera. “Ferdinand is the bull here on the cover. This story was written in 1935, which was a long time ago! Okay are you ready?” Spencer looked out on a sea of thumbs up, turning the page to the beginning of the story. “Once upon a time in Spain, there was a bull, and his name was Ferdinand.”

Y/N smiled as she listened to Spencer read each page, recounting the story of the peaceful bull. He was an excellent storyteller, changing the inflection and expression of his voice to match each sentence. He held each page up for just the right amount of time, panning it so her students could see each detail of the black and white pictures. He added his own wonderings and exclamations here and there, and her students were decidedly enthralled. Her heart ached at how comfortable he was, how natural this was for him. She rested her chin in her hand, trying to keep her mind in the present— ignoring the persistent little mental image of Spencer as a dad.

“So they had to take Ferdinand home. And for all I know, he is sitting there still, under his favorite cork tree, smelling the flowers just quietly. He is very happy… And that’s The Story of Ferdinand.” Spencer closed the book with a soft smile. “I love this story. Ferdinand is a very special bull. What do you think makes him so special?”

“Ferdinand didn’t fight,” a little voice piped up.

“Yes!” Spencer agreed. “He practiced pacifism in the face of the persistent, ingrained militarism of his country’s culture.”

Y/N placed a hand on Spencer’s knee and gave a quick squeeze. “Right, Ferdinand chose not to fight, even though everybody else he knew wanted to.” Y/N winked at him before turning back to the screen full of kids. “All his friends thought he was kind of weird, but he just really wanted to hang out in the shade and smell the flowers, huh? Sounds pretty good to me.”

“He wasn’t bothered that the other bulls thought he was strange for wanting to be peaceful,” Spencer added. “Sometimes being different can be a good thing. The Story of Ferdinand reminds me that it’s okay to be yourself, even if other people think you’re weird.” His eyes met Y/N’s. “Because there will always be people who love and appreciate you for who you are.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x you #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #criminals minds self insert #dr spencer reid #professor spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds #homoose writes

[propaganda-for-poets]

Hi! I’m back with another hc question! What inside/running jokes do the poets have with one another, and who started them? And a separate question, what do the rest of the student body think of the poets? Like are they famous or just another friend group and also are specific poets more famous than the others? I’ve always thought that Neil and Cameron would be famous as fairy godmothers who help poor first years with their homework and finding classes and stuff. Also Meeks is the library cryptid and you can’t tell me otherwise.

oooooo ok let's see!!!! this is going to be kind of a long post by the way, so buckle up

inside jokes

meeks and pitts def have like a shit ton of really confusing inside jokes and no one has no idea what they're talking about, they also pretty much communicate exclusively in vines, it's fascinating to see these two interact, really. meeks and pitts also have a foam box hanging from the ceiling of their dorm. there's a story behind that, probably.

then neil and charlie also have a bunch since they're close, probably about stupid stuff they did in the past that may or may not have gotten them in trouble. they always share them with the group and let them in the joke so they can all laugh about it, it's fun to have their own things and they do have some of their own things but y'know they love their friends and they wanna share all the stupid stuff they did with them.

now i'm sure neil and todd have their inside jokes being hopelessly in love and everything but todd actually has a bunch of them with cameron, they hang out a lot cause they love their friends, they really do, but they could really use some peace and quiet sometimes. so they actually have a bunch of inside jokes, but they mostly keep them to themselves because they've seen each other do some ridiculous stuff they don't want the others to know they're capable of, they don't really need to know why whenever they see a chihuahua todd asks cameron if he's gonna hunt it down, nothing good could come out of it.

charlie and cameron have an ongoing joke about how many pairs of shoes can fit in their dorm's closet and they keep taking guesses. everyone thinks they're joking and it's just something stupid they came up with because they didn't know what to disagree over, it's all fun and games until one day neil walks in and sees them trying to push the door of a suspiciously full closet. they wanted to see who was right. no one knows where they found all those shoes.

the group has a lot of inside jokes in general because they keep doing weird shit, they definitely reference the poems they read in the cave all the time, whenever they call each other and one of them asks who is it the one on the other line answers "it's god", they make innuendos with weird latin words meeks teaches them and then laugh whenever they're said in class, stuff like that.

social status thing!

okay, i'm actually really excited about this one because i kinda wanted to talk about how welton views the poets seperately, outside of the friend group. cause like they obviously know them as a group, there are some rumors of a secret society here and there in welton and let's be honest, they're an odd bunch, neil and the new kid and whatever the hell pitts and meeks are and Charlie Dalton (tm) and knox who probably has a bit of a reputation as a romantic and then cameron????? like what do these people have to do with each other??? so there's a lot of rumors about them, as a group. but seperately!!!!! let's look into that shall we!!!!!!!!

okay, so neil is definitely popular. he's friendly, he's extroverted, involved in pretty much everything, overall really chill, people like him. they all kinda know there's something going on with him because everyone knows neil's gonna be a doctor but he's never showed any interest in it and he definitely strikes everyone as a creative kind, so they know there's something going on there but no one ever addresses it cause that's how high school students are. neil is kind of welton's golden boy, everybody loves him, and if someone doesn't they're probably a dick who wants to start fights.

todd doesn't have much of a reputation aside from "jeffrey anderson's brother" since he's new and also so quiet, everyone just thinks he's a little shy and some people think he's weird but no one ever dares touch a hair on his head because they know he's with neil, and neil will go berserk if anyone tries to hurt him. not that most of them would want to, todd never did anything to anyone but y'know how some people are. it's like in mean girls where no one dared fuck with anyone who was regina's friend? that's what it's like being friends with neil.

okay, we all know charlie has a bit of a reputation. he's a troublemaker, likes to joke around, probably has a few enemies around welton because he tends to,, punch people a lot. everyone thinks he's kinda cool, some people think he's just annoying, which he kind of is sometimes let's be honest. also a considerable amount of people thought he was in love with neil. he was not. how everyone figured that out i'll leave up to you but i have a,,, few ideas for my beloved little group of chameron shippers, hi guys what's up we're living off of crumbs :)

okay, meeks and pitts go together, we all know that, they actually have kind of a history with,,,,, starting shit, basically, it really started as an accident, they blew something up in the science lab, but then they just said fuck it and kept going over the years, causing a lot of stupid shit, and now all the teachers kinda have their eye on them (hence the demerits, yay). but even the conjoined twins have their own reputations. meeks,,,,,, is kinda shady ngl. people go to him for help with weird stuff. like random people. none of the poets know what this is about, the only thing they know is that he rents banned books to students, but that doesn't explain much. also yes he definitely is the library cryptid. pitts on the other hand is perceived as much more,,, legal that meeks. he's kinda the guy you can always go to for anything, pitts has approximately zero enemies in welton. a lot of people think he's a little stupid, for some reason. he's not. he's smart as shit and it takes ten minutes of hanging out with him to figure that out.

cameron's kinda obvious, people think he's boring and a stick in the mud, but he's still respected because he's clearly impressively smart and will help anyone with homework even if he has his own shit to deal with, which means he can pull the "you owe me one" card at anyone any time he wants to, also he's under the neil perry umbrella and welton doesn't fuck with people under the neil perry umbrella, we've been over this. cameron's kinda intriguing though. no one knows anything about him and everyone thinks "there must be more to this guy than just being a huge dick", so there's a lot of conversation around welton about cameron and he never confirms nor denies anything purely because he thinks it's funny.

knox just kinda comes across as a romantic to everyone, he's always the ones with the love poems in class, getting super hyped for valentine's day, all that stuff. he's very bold so there have been a lot of misunderstandings with people, but he usually works things out, most people like him. knox is probably remembered for doing something really impulsive and really stupid once a few years back, but i can't decide what it is. like, not something impulsive and stupid in the way charlie does to fuck with people, just a,,,,,, really big fuck up, that made the whole school laugh and gave him kind of a positive reputation.

#🩹 jace answers #🩹 jace's hcs #dps #dead poets society #neil pery #todd anderson #charlie dalton #steven meeks #stephen meeks #gerard pitts #richard cameron #knox overstreet

[canon-transgender-virgil]

Check In (Intrulogical)

A/N: Finished this fic relatively quickly! It's a lot shorter than the Roceit one I posted earlier this week but it's still kinda a long fic lol!

Summary: Directly following the events of WTIT, Remus pops into Logan's room for what he claims is a quick chat, but that quickly grows into something more when the two actually get to talking.

Content Warnings: innuendos, swearing, intrusive thoughts, implied NS/FW (but nothing happens, dw), hurt-comfort

Logan had taken shelter in his room the moment Thomas got home from his outing with Nico. The logical side couldn’t stand to be around the other sides at the moment and he needed to sort out what was going on in his head.

The spectacled side took a deep breath and sat at his desk, staring at the wooden tabletop before slamming his fist down on it. “Fuck!” He yelled at the top of his lungs, infinitely thankful for the magic soundproofing around everyone’s rooms. What would the others think if they heard the rational, level headed (yeah right) Logic yelling expletives at random in his room?

He straightened his tie and glasses and got up, summoning a straw dummy labeled “Thomas”. He stood in front of it and glared at the doll, visibly angry, before he began ranting to it. He talked and talked, yelling at the dummy about how angry he was at being constantly ignored and pushed aside and made fun of, and if the familiar 10 notes announcing a certain Creativity’s presence hadn’t gotten his attention, he would have continued.

“My my Logan, you’ve got so much to say and no one to say it to, huh!” The moustached side raised an eyebrow, smirking at the nerd.

“...what do you want, Remus.” Logan’s words were curt, like he was trying to say just little enough to make the Dark Side leave.

“Gosh, I can’t just talk to a friend?-”

“We are not friends.”

“Ouch!” Remus pretended to be injured. “You’re so prickly, like a kinda sexy cactus! What’s up your ass today?”

Logan stopped and consulted his flashcards, hearing Remus snicker at this and trying to ignore the fact that his face was burning slightly. “Um… Ah.” He found the card he was looking for and examined it a little. “Nothing is ‘up my ass’ today, Remus. You know full well why I’m upset.”

“Uh huh, cuz I called you out on your lying ass.” He sounded irritatingly proud of that fact.

“Yes, well, you got what you wanted. Are you just here to rub it in my face?” Logan stared at Remus, though he noticeably avoided direct eye contact with the gremlin of a side.

Remus frowned. “No, actually.”

“Then you’re here to make me… feel… worse, correct?”

“Nope!” The green-sashed monster grinned.

“Then what do you possibly hope to gain from this interaction?” The blue tied Side frowned. Remus wasn’t here to bug him, or to upset him further? What reason, then, did he have to come to Logan’s room?

“It’s like I said earlier, I wanted to talk to you!”

“...what about?”

Remus shrugged. “I dunno! What do you wanna talk about?”

Logan blinked. “...excuse me?”

“Yeah! Let’s hear what you wanna talk about!” The Duke sat down on Logan’s bed and grinned up at him.

“...” The teacher was silent. “...you’re mocking me, aren’t you?”

“Huh?” Remus blinked and raised an eyebrow. “Why would I-?”

“Yes, I figured as much. Remus, I don’t have time for your games and if you’re simply going to make fun of me you can just-”

“Woah! Pump the brakes Lo, who said I was making fun of you?” The green side looked legitimately confused.

Logan crossed his arms. “Remus, statistically speaking, a total of… Zero sides share any of my interests. A total of three sides have shown aversion to or have mocked the things I consider interesting or enj- er, have a vague liking towards. Why should I believe you aren’t here to add to the latter set of data?”

“First of all, because I sat through that whole talk.” Remus joked. Seeing that Logan just rolled his eyes, he continued. “And secondly, because we also have some of the same interests! Your census of mockery only includes J-Anus, Emo Boy, Hop-Pop Patton and my dumbass brother!”

“Really? Then what are some of those shared interests, oh Duke of Imaginary Death?”

“That was terrible, one.” Remus held up his pointer finger. “And two, we both like chemistry, and poisoning, and astronomy-”

“Wait wait wait.” Logan held a hand up to silence Remus for a moment. “You… like astronomy?”

“Sure! What’s more existentially terrifying than imagining going hurtling right into the sun, or a black hole, or-” Remus’s eyes widened as he talked about the possibilities.

“Thank you, Remus.” Logic sighed. “But… why talk with… me?”

“Cuz… I kinda owe it to you? After being a dickhead all day?”

Logan blinked. “You didn’t have a phallus for a head today?-”

“Figure of speech, teach.” Remus explained curtly.

Logan ‘ah’d’ and nodded.

“And anyways… I wanted to apologize.”

That caused Logan to stop. “...you… wanted to apologize… to me?”

“Yeah, it’s weird for me too, but it’s true! I didn’t mean to make you so mad you - figuratively - blew up, I just wanted to prove a point.”

“I appreciate your use of the word figuratively Remus, and… thank you.”

“No problem!” Remus grinned and thought for a second. “So… wanna talk about forensics?”

Logan’s eyes lit up. “Do I ever!-” He stopped. “Ah, uh, I mean… If you’d like to…?”

Remus giggled. “Cute! But you don’t have to hide that, not around me at least!”

“...thank you…” Logan smiled softly and the duke’s heart just about stopped.

“Uh, um… no problem Nerdy Wolverine.” Remus smiled weakly at the cute nerd.

The logical side rolled his eyes and playfully pushed Remus’s shoulder, which brought the moustached side’s attention to just how touch starved he was - a problem for another day, Mus.

“So what d'ya wanna talk about? Black lights, true crime?”

“Both interesting conversations, but… how about another topic you mentioned earlier?” Logan sounded timid, like he was scared Remus would stop listening if he dared to change the subject.

“Oh? What’d you have in mind?” The intrusive thot tilted his head at a sickening 180 degree angle, but that didn’t seem to bother Logan.

“You mentioned being fascinated by astrology as well. Would you like to talk about that?”

“Of course I would, my nerdy Astro-Boy Toy~” Remus laughed at his own nickname, to which Logan rolled his eyes again. “What about space, starlight?”

Logan’s smile grew ever so slightly, thankfully drawing Remus’s attention to that as opposed to his pink cheeks. “Well… let’s talk about constellations. You’re a storyteller of sorts, what’s your favorite constellation origin story?”

“Ooh, how fun!” Remus grinned. “Well, I personally love the story of Aquila, the king who got turned into a golden eagle messenger thing because Zeus got jealous of how much people liked him! You know, he’s the one who brought Zeus his cupbearer, Ganymede? That’s where the Aquarius constellation comes from! He was some Trojan prince, he ended up being the god of homosexual love! Historians think his name was a euphemism, since it’s a combination of the Greek words for ‘gladdening’ and ‘genitals’!”

Logan nodded and watched Remus explain the stories, smiling at how enthusiastically Remus shared the information. Remus noticed this and stopped. “Well, how ‘bout you, teach?”

“Huh?” Logan blinked, being pulled from his thoughts by the sound of Remus’s voice.

“You wanted to talk about constellations! What’s your favorite story?”

“Oh, um… I enjoy the story of Orion, the hunter who killed so many innocent creatures that Gaea sent a large scorpion to kill him and then put both of them in the stars for all eternity.”

“Huh! So that Scorpio constellation…?”

“Yes, that’s its origin story as well.” Logan smiled.

“Funny! I would never have guessed it!” That wasn’t true. Remus knew each and every constellation origin story like the back of his palm. He loved Greek mythology, but the only thing he loved more than that was seeing how Logan’s face lit up when he got to explain it. “Any other stories?”

The teacher blinked and adjusted his glasses. “Oh, um… I also enjoy the Cassiopeia story…”

The duke’s face brightened, eagerly awaiting Logan’s explanation. The spectacled astronomer’s face turned pink when he realized this, not sure what to do with this sort of attention.

“Well, Cassiopeia was a queen in Ancient Greece and she claimed to be the most beautiful thing in creation, which Posideon took personally since he had made what he considered to be the most beautiful creatures, and those were the sea nymphs. So Posideon sent Cetus, this giant sea monster, to torment the town, and he told the citizens that if they wanted him to get rid of the monster, Cassiopeia would have to apologize. She didn’t, so they asked if they could do anything else, and Posideon said if they sacrificed Cassiopeia’s daughter Andromeda to him that Cetus would go away, so the townspeople kidnapped her and brought her down to the pier. Poseidon didn’t like that, of course, since he was really just trying to get Cassiopeia to apologize and didn’t want some poor mortal’s blood on his hands so he let Perseus save her and kill Cetus.

“As punishment for almost letting her daughter die to save her own pride and for insulting the gods, they put her in the sky upside down on a chair to humiliate her for the rest of time.” Logan had gotten pretty excited while he explained the story, grinning widely as he finally finished it.

Remus was silent the entire time, watching how happily Logan told him a story he’d heard a million times before and thinking about how nice it was to be able to hear it from the nerd’s perspective.

Logan, finally remembering Remus was there, coughed softly and adjusted his tie, his smile fading. “Um, apologies, Remus. Thank you for letting me ramble.”

“Lo, you were telling a story! That’d be really dickish for someone to just cut you off during a story, you know?”

“I know, but I still appreciate it.” Logan yawned and Remus realized he looked tired, like the story had exhausted him.

“You wanna take a nap, teach?” The duke frowned and tilted his head.

“I… I have to finish up my work for the day…” The logical side moved his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

“...Lo?”

“Yes…?”

“You had a long day. Yes it was cuz I was being a bitch, but still, you need to get some sleep. Or, y’know, I’m gonna be even more of a bitch to deal with!” Threatening intrusive thoughts usually worked to get Janus to go to bed when he refused to sleep, so he figured he’d try the technique out on Logan.

The nerd however simply shook his head and laughed softly. “I don’t think so, Remus. I can… I can handle you…”

“You couldn’t today, could you?” Remus accidentally blurted out before immediately covering his mouth. “Oh my god I didn’t mean that-”

“It’s fine, Remus.” Logan stated, rubbing his eyes. “You’re right. I couldn’t handle you today. But I really do have to finish working on this-”

“I’ll stay with you if you go to bed!” The duke once again blurted out. “Cuz I don’t think you’d wanna stay alone with Orange so close by, y’know? I can stay and like, fend him off!”

Logic blinked at the proposition and squinted. “...you… want to stay with me? Why are you so adamant about me getting proper sleep?”

“Well one, cuz it’s already 10:30 at night, and two, cuz… you know, I don’t wanna end up actually hurting you!”

That further surprised Logan. “You don’t want to end up hurting me? I was under the impression that that’s something you enjoyed.”

“Well…” Remus was hesitant to explain - that tipped Logan into the fact that it was probably something more than that.

“What’s really going on Remus?” The stern side crossed his arms and stared at the Creativity.

“...okay, I don’t wanna be alone tonight!” The duke stomped his foot and crossed his arms, looking away. “My nightmares have been getting worse and Janus is hanging out with Roman and Patton today and Virgil hates my guts so I figured I’d at least try to hang out with the one side that for some reason still tolerates my dumb ass!” He sounded a little hurt, and added, “Or, one that wouldn’t immediately kick me out or hit me with a broom at the mere sight of me.”

Logan blinked. “Nightmares? You suffer from nightmares?”

Remus sighed and tugged on his sash. “Yeah, they suck ass - not in a fun way - but it’s part of the job description, y’know?”

“I don’t. But… does this mean you also suffer from intrusive thoughts?”

“...yeah… They’re kinda the reason I came in here in the first place...”

The logical side sighed. “Remus, you could have told me sooner you just needed company. I’m not the best at keeping up conversation but I could have at least put on a movie for you to refocus on something other than your intrusive thoughts.”

The duke blinked. “You… you’re not gonna just kick me out?”

“Why would I? You’re in need of assistance and I’m going to provide it for you.” Logan got up and rummaged through his DVD stack. “What would you like to watch?”

Remus stretched and looked over. “Whatever ya want, Sub-astute but Super Cute Teacher.”

Both sides flushed red when they realized what Remus had said.

“...interesting nickname, Remus.” Logan gulped, looking down.

“Yeah, uh…” The duke laughed weakly. “Well, I guess that cat’s out of the plastic bag it was choking in, huh?”

“What, that you think I’m cute?” The teacher looked over at the moustached Creativity. “You already called me sexy.”

“Well yeah, but that felt less… sappy, than calling you cute. And anyways, I meant that I was into you. Ooh, do you have Coraline?”

Logan stopped. “...repeat that, please?”

“The Coraline thing?-”

“The thing before the Coraline request.”

“Oh yeah, I like you.” Remus was right to the point, like always. “When I saw you take the shuriken to the face and just keep on moving right along… God, that was an image!” The duke gripped his thigh and shook his head, stopping himself from reaching down his pants.

“And you’re telling me this now… why?” The teacher was still reeling from the initial confession.

“We don’t get to talk one-on-one a lot! Plus, I don’t really like talking about cutesy emotions - that’s Roman’s department, y’know?”

Logan nodded slowly.

“Anyways, I changed my mind on the movie, can you put on Monster House?”

The spectacled side nodded and got the CD for Monster House, putting it in the DVD player and sitting next to the green-sashed side. He should have figured Remus wouldn’t be the type to linger on his feelings, and he was grateful for that at least. He couldn’t handle talking about feelings for long periods, especially not his own, but to have one of the most passionate sides just drop the fact that they liked him and immediately move on from that fact? It was odd. He almost couldn’t believe it.

Remus meanwhile was laying on the bed and watching the movie intently, smiling brightly at the screen before realizing that Logan had gotten into bed next to him. He turned over a little and growled “seductively” at the teacher, who laughed softly at the dark creativity. The sound caused butterflies to erupt in the duke’s stomach, flustering him a little. He smiled back at the logical side before returning his attention to the movie.

Logan meanwhile admired Remus, watching as he talked excitedly about the movie. He found it strangely endearing, how excitable Remus got when he was able to talk about things he found interesting. He didn’t have much time to think about it though, as he found himself falling asleep soon after the thought passed through his head. The astronerd yawned and passed out, sleeping peacefully next to the intrusive side.

The duke didn’t notice until he felt warm arms wrap around him. It startled the hell out of him, but he relaxed after he realized it was simply the sleeping teacher clinging to him. He carefully took Logan’s glasses off and turned off the TV before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

**The next morning**

Logan woke up first the following morning, still a little tired but feeling much better than he did the previous night. Vision blurry, the blind scholar felt around his nightstand for his glasses before realizing he was curled up into another person. He quickly got his specs on and saw the sleeping form of Remus below him, remembering that Remus had asked to stay with him the night before.

He looked at the sleeping creativity, who looked much more peaceful (and admittedly much cuter) asleep than he ever did awake. Still feeling somewhat tired, the Sherlock kinnie looked away and closed his eyes, feeling his face start to burn. When did he start thinking of Remus as “cute”?

Logan didn’t have too much time to dwell on it as he heard Remus start to stir. “Ugh… morning starshine…”

The teacher jumped and sighed. “Oh, good morning Remus. Did you sleep well?”

“Like an asphyxiated baby… you?” Remus groaned and stretched, waking up a bit more.

“I slept well too.” Logan fidgeted with his hands. The dark creativity, sensing the spectacled nerd’s unease, sat up and went to get off the bed. He was somewhat shocked to feel Logan tug on his sleeve. “Stay. I wanted to talk about what you said to me last night.”

“Oh… that.” Remus sighed and sat back on the bed. “What about it?”

“I… I’m not entirely sure what it feels like, but I think I reciprocate your feelings?”

Remus’s expression changed from slight concern to a poorly hidden malicious grin. “Oh? You’re into me?”

“I… think I am.” Logan nodded slightly.

The duke was silent for a moment before bursting into a grating cackle. “Oh- oh my god! Oh my god, you’re gonna kill me nerd!”

The scholarly side tensed up and blinked. “Excuse me?-”

“Are you fucking kidding me?! What kind of goddamn loser are you, to think I - or anyone really - would like you?! Especially after the bullshit you pulled yesterday, like Jesus Christ you’re pathetic!”

Logan’s heart sank as he heard Remus say this. “So you were, what, mocking me?!”

“No shit, Sherlock!” The intrusive side cackled once again before morphing into a huge octopus-human hybrid monster and grabbing the teacher. “You’re so fucking stupid! What on Earth made you think someone like me would like someone like you?! You’re lucky any of the others even talk to you anymore!”

Logan panicked as the tentacles pulled him up to Remus’s razor sharp teeth, about to chomp down on his head, when-

“Lo! Logan, wake up!” The logical side heard Remus’s voice coming from somewhere it should not have been, and Logan woke up with a start. Remus frowned as the teacher practically flung himself away from him.

“Get away from me!” Logan’s voice sounded frantic and panicked, like a cornered animal.

“Woah, woah!” The creativity held his hands up in surrender. “Teach, it’s me!”

The teacher took a few deep breaths and grounded himself, looking around. “...right, right… Apologies, Remus…”

“No problem, Nerdy Wolverine. Now, care to tell me what happened?”

Logan sighed and moved over to Remus, explaining to him his nightmare, tentatively telling the nightmare inducing side that he’d tried professing his mutual love to the other before getting horrendously mocked and belittled.

“Sounds a lot like my Nightmare Nico scenario. Has this happened before?” Remus had managed to ignore his thundering heartbeat and the cheering going on in his head - Logan likes me back!! He could focus on that later. Right now, Logan needed his help.

“No. I don’t normally dream, period, so to get a nightmare is extremely unprecedented.”

“Huh… so, I’m the reason you had the nightmare?”

“That would be the logical conclusion, though I had assumed that your effects would be… muffled, in my room?”

“Maybe it’s a mix of psychological and my effect on you guys? Like you were stressed or anxious about last night so my ability to give people nightmares got amplified?”

Logan nodded. “Interesting hypothesis, and it’s… definitely possible. I apologize for yelling at you earlier.”

Remus shrugged. “Eh, it���s okay, I’ve heard worse.”

The nerd nodded and the two were silent for a moment before Remus sighed and asked what they were both thinking. “So. I like you, and you… apparently like me back? What does that make us?”

Logan hesitated. “I… I’m not sure. What would you like us to be?”

The duke grinned. “How about boyfriends?”

The scholar smiled. “I think I’d like that.”

Remus beamed brighter and moved a bit before stopping. “Can I kiss you?”

Once again mildly surprised by the other’s bluntness, Logan nodded and scooted closer to the dark creativity. Remus quickly pulled the former into a kiss.

Logan was the first to pull away, flushed red and smiling to himself. “I think I could get used to this.”

Remus grinned and took the scholar’s hand. “Me too, Lo. Me too.”

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #intrulogical #ts logan #ts remus #tw innuendo mention #tw swearing #tw implied ns/fw (but nothing happens) #hurt comfort #long post #sanders sides fanfiction #lucifer writes

[fbfh]

light up the dark [VI] - leo x reader

genre: mid adventure domestic fluff overture, romance, smutty lemony bit towards the end

word count: 3k

pairing: Leo x gothy!child of eros!fem reader

requested: very much so, yes

warnings: magic manipulation powers, feelings are hard and weird and scary, some innuendos, the phrase hot gusher out of context, the word dirty talk, trying to "proposition [someone] in front of two for one cookie crisp", brief credit card theft, jason thinks ketchup is spicy and gets clowned on for it, one use of the word lube in reference to mechanical lubricant, shirtless leo remember that one piece of shirtless leo viria art?????? remember the caption?????, your facade is beginning to crack, deadpan joke about being dead in space, making out, whole lotta sexual tension, brief mention of a boner, teeny tiny bit of grinding, getting interrupted, c*lypso

summary: after an extensive shopping trip, you, Leo, and Jason settle into your airbnb and wait for the others to arrive. Jason takes a nap, and Leo helps you dye your hair. You return the favor by helping him make dinner which leads to two things; a well timed boner, and a poorly timed visitor.

listen to: power and control - marina, 100 bad days - ajr, all I ask - adele

a/n: let's play spot the zack and cody reference within the first paragraph

also surprise the series isn't dead!! a shock to all but mostly me!!

as with all smexy smutty nsfw content, all characters are aged up to 18+

Standing in front of a wall of hair dye taller than you are should have been exciting. It would have been, except for the fact that all the colors were various shades of honey mist auburn. You really don’t want to have to make a separate trip to a beauty store for hair dye. Your eyes land on a firetruck red box, and gratefully, you realize you won’t have to.

“Perfect,” you muse, throwing it into your cart, along with the other stuff on the list you’d divided between you. You grab a few other things from the beauty section while you’re there; some makeup, eyeliner, a glass nail file, and a tiny pair of oil slick cuticle scissors.

Nearby is a guy a little older than you in a varsity hoodie and sweatpants squinting at a two in one shampoo label.

Perfect, you think, beginning to approach. You work your magic - literally - and within a few minutes you have his credit card. It takes way less time than it used to. You also didn’t have to smile and flirt nearly as much as you used to. You’re relieved that you don’t have to fake enthusiasm around rich douchebags the way you used to, and a new inky drop of fear begins to stain the corners of your mind. You can’t even bear to admit it to yourself, but you’re kind of scared. Before you can begin to question if you know what love is and if you’re capable of experiencing it without the influence of your divine heritage, you shove it all away. Not the place, not the time. You speed up a little, passing an endcap of candy, and knock a box into your cart.

On the other side of the store, Jason checks off items from their half of the list as Leo tosses items in the cart, talking along the way. Of course, you came up in conversation rather quickly.

“She’s… a real piece of work.” Jason says, treading lightly.

“You said it, man,” Leo agrees, sliding a pack of coke onto the bottom of the cart. Jason thinks for a moment before continuing.

“She seems to,” he tries to figure out how to phrase their dynamic, “not hate you as much as everyone else.” Leo laughs at the accuracy of the statement. He can tell Jason has something else to say, so he’s quiet while putting paper plates and napkins into the cart.

“Hey, Leo?”

“Yeah?”

“Just… don’t let her hurt you, okay?”

He stops for a second. He’s so lucky to have a friend like Jason, one that will genuinely look out for him, but sometimes people caring for him still catches him off guard. Really off guard. With no idea how to begin to verbalize that complicated mess, he takes a split second to collect himself.

“Thanks, man.”

His smile is sincere.

Don’t let her hurt you. Can he just do that? Not let someone hurt him? Especially someone like you. He’s only had a few long term crushes before, all just out of reach and only getting further away. Only one had amounted to something - not that he could call what he had with Calypso ‘something’. She certainly wouldn’t. He looks around, trying to shake off the sting. He starts to get that unsettled, itchy feeling when he focuses on stuff like that for too long.

‘At least I got some good stories out of it,’ he thinks, messing with the back of his hair and fixing his hoodie strings.

“Here.”

He turns around, coming face to face with you, holding out a box very close to him.

“Hot gusher.” You say softly. What? His cheeks heat up, pulse speeding up suddenly. He glances at Jason, who’s at the other end of the aisle asking an employee something. Are you implying something? Are you trying to proposition him in front of two for one cookie crisp? He’s unable to look away from your gaze, intense and striking. You couldn’t possibly mean what he thinks you mean. Your fingers brush and he’s struggling to find an elegant way to say ‘hey, maybe the grocery store isn’t an ideal place for dirty talk’.

“W- uh, sorry, what?” he says, laughing in an equally hushed tone, needing to make sure you meant what he thought you did. You glance down, then back up.

“They’re spicy gushers. I thought you’d like them.” the feeling is gone in a split second, the same time it took to arrive, and is replaced with relief. He looks down at the box, realizing he’d taken it from you at some point. He laughs at the ridiculousness of his previous panic.

“Thanks,” he says, a reflective smile on his face.

You realize how comforted you are to see him smile, really smile, when you catch yourself having to keep a neutral face. One of the first times your resting bitch face has been intentional. Before you can say you’re welcome, Jason comes back over. You hand him the card.

“Pin number’s 0401.”

They both stare at you, skimming the label of a granola bar, completely unperturbed.

“How…”

“Credit card theft.”

The logical part of Leo’s brain starts to speak up, telling him to raise his guard, that his stomach should be twisting. If you can just take someone’s credit card without a hint of remorse, who knows what the hell kind of damage you could do to him if he got closer to you? And he really wants to get closer to you.

“Oh,” you pull a small pop top tube out of your cart and hand it to Leo, “this is for you too. You know, since you don’t like coffee,” you trail off as he reads the label. Caffeine and electrolyte drink tablets, red berry rampage flavor. He looks up at you, feeling warm and… something else, something ineffable, at the gesture.

You stare at each other, eyes locked, surprised at the strangely intimate feeling stirring in both of you.

“What are those?” Jason asks, snapping you out of whatever that was.

“Spicy gushers,” Leo says, smiling again, “I didn’t even know they made those.”

“Hot mango,” Jason reads from the side of the box, “that actually sounds pretty good.”

“No way dude, you can’t handle spicy food.” He starts to protest, and Leo continues, “You think ketchup is spicy!” He looks shocked.

“Okay, that was one time! It was a weird brand and there was way too much pepper in it!”

You bite back a giggle at their bickering, taking note of how much better Leo seems to be doing and finding surprising comfort in their banter.

It doesn’t take long to get to the airbnb and get set up. You all dump your bags in your rooms, bring in the groceries, and shove everything into the cabinets in a reasonably organized manner.

Jason heads upstairs to unpack and call Piper, announcing a few minutes later that they should be here in less than two hours.

“Perfect,” you pull out your hair dye from the last bag. It’s not exactly the manic panic wildfire red you’d initially wanted, but it’s definitely better than nothing. You stare at the box for a second, then up at Leo who’s trying to get one more bag of chips to fit in with the others.

“Hey,” you say, just loud enough to get his attention, “do you… can you get the back of my head?” He looks at you, questioning, and you hold up the box dye. He smiles, once again noting your softened edges around him.

“Yeah,” he agrees, and minutes later you’re in the bathroom, adorned in a big tee shirt covered in all your previous hair colors. He’s staring at your shirt, eyes dancing over the swirls and splatters of color. It reminds him of a painting he’d seen once, unable to remember the name.

You shake the bottle, skimming the instructions again, then start speaking to him, eyes still on the box.

“Take a section of hair, about this much,” you demonstrate, holding out a section of hair, “rub in the dye like this…”

You hand him the second bottle of red dye, and he starts on the back. His fingertips start separating out a section of your hair, and you still, a shiver running up your spine. He hesitates for a moment, then continues, and you hope he hadn’t noticed. His breath fans your ear, and you can feel the heat radiating off his chest. Your lungs are shallow suddenly, squeezed tight like a bouquet clutched in a shaking hand. You find it almost impossible to focus on dying the front half of your hair.

You don’t want it to stop, you realize. His fingertips dancing along your hair, the glimpses of his incredibly focused face in the bathroom mirror, the way he’ll gently turn your head to make sure he didn’t miss a spot.

“Shit,” he leans back, hunching forward. You look behind you, eyes landing immediately on the spot of red dye on his shirt.

“Shit,” you echo. He looks back at you, waiting to see how he’ll react.

“Oh, it’s all good - no worries. I already have a ton of motor oil and lube - lubricant… machine grade, petroleum based engine lubricant-” he laughs, “stains on this shirt anyway. Don’t sweat it.”

You almost laugh. A giggle bubbles up from your chest and stomach, but catches in your throat. Before it can come out, he slips off his dye stained gloves, and tugs off his dye stained shirt from the back. It seems to happen in slow motion. In a mere moment, your eyes engraving every detail, every line and curve and freckle to memory.

There’s really no delicate way to put it; he’s fucking jacked. Deceptively so. You’re frozen in place, cheeks flushed. You suddenly wonder what it would be like to be wrapped up in his arms, held so close to him.

You snap yourself out of the thought, all of that occurring in just a few seconds. He leans past you, setting the dye stained shirt carefully on the counter, glancing at you intensely.

“Are you checking me out?”

You make yourself roll your eyes and turn away, replying, “I’m sure you’d love that.”

Angled away from him, you momentarily reprimand yourself, squeezing your eyes shut and mouthing oh my god. You turn back to him, not recalling the last time you had to deliberately keep up your aloof front around someone like this.

“So, are we finishing my hair or just gonna leave it like this?” you ask rhetorically, motioning to your half done hair.

He watches you do this, confirming his suspicion that you’re really not as cold as you let on. A smile blooms on his face, and he doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything as… cute as that.

“Yeah,” he replies, slipping his gloves back on. The things you do around him seem to mean more now. He notices the way your eyes flutter closed for a moment when he plays with your hair, working in the dye, or the way you still for a split second when he gets a little too close to the side of your face, checking that he didn’t miss a spot.

He doesn’t want this to end either. But eventually, your hair is fully saturated with dye, the timer on your phone counting down slowly. There’s still some dye left. He sits on the closed toilet.

“Your turn. Do me.”

“What?” you laugh.

“Yeah, a little streak - up here.” He leans forward, sectioning off a part of his hair.

“Seriously?” you ask.

“Yeah. Unless you don’t want to match…” he muses. Your eyes get this dreamy look for the briefest second, then you’re turning back to shake the bottle some more.

“I guess… I mean there’s too much dye to throw out, we might as well do something with it.”

It’s his turn, now, to feel the warmth from your body, your hands running through his hair. His eyes want to close, and bask in the feeling, but he refuses to miss out on the view of you so soft, so close to him. It doesn’t last nearly long enough for either of you, and much too soon you’re pulling away and throwing away the gloves and empty bottles.

By the time you finish cleaning up and throw out the garbage, it’s time to rinse your hair. Hanging your head over the tub, you let the water flow over your head until Leo tells you it’s running clear. He does the same, and you point out too late that he only had to rinse the dyed part, not his whole head.

You both laugh as you wrap a towel around your hair, teaching him how to do the same.

“Sweet, I’ve always wondered how to do the spa snail towel thing.”

“The spa snail towel thing?” You try in vain to fight another laugh.

“Yeah, you know… cause it looks like a snail, and they do it at spas…”

“Oh… my gods…” you laugh, exiting the bathroom and heading down the hall, “I”m going to get changed.” you call.

“Am I wrong?” he asks after you, and you bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing. He heads to his room to do the same.

A few minutes later, you’re carefully pulling on your top, when he calls through your door.

“Hey, I’m gonna be in the kitchen, come down when you’re ready.”

“...Okay,” you agree.

You check your outfit in the mirror. You can still feel his fingers brushing your neck. Your head tilts at the memory. Snapshots of him pulling off his shirt in slow motion flash in your memory.

You realize how much of an affect the last hour has had on you. Your stomach drops.

You can’t possibly be falling in love. No way. Not a snowball’s chance in hell.

You’re not the falling in love type. At most, you’d hook up with someone a couple times on the rare occasion you thought they were hot, too.

Oh, you decide, that must be what’s happening. I just think he’s hot. I mean, duh. Of course he’s hot. Did you see him in there?

That’s all you have to do; hook up with him once, maybe twice, then you’ll get over it. It’ll make his ex jealous, and they’ll get back together. It will go just like it always has. Then you can move on to whatever the next crisis is.

You take a breath, resolving to follow the plan, exit your room. You throw yours and Leo’s old clothes and towels in the hamper, and head down stairs. He greets you, and pulls you into the kitchen.

“I have something to ask you.” Your brow furrows.

“...Okay.”

He takes your hand in his, the other behind his back.

“Will you…” he looks at you, gaze piercing, “...be my sous-chef.” he finishes, holding out an apron, matching his.

You study him, a hopeful, surprisingly confident look on his face. His hair is still damp. You’re sure yours is, too. You wait a beat, before replying slowly.

“Yes. But I’m not wearing that.”

“That’s fair,” he says, setting the apron on the counter, “I will have to dock your pay for being out of uniform, though.” You let out a puff of air from your nose, biting back a laugh. He pulls out a skillet, bowl, and oil, and begins preheating the pan. You watch him pull out more ingredients, and begin to set things up.

“Right now we’re waiting on that,” he says nodding at the stove. You nod, inspecting a bottle of seasoning he’d pulled out, and settle into a comfortable silence.

He thinks back to the last time you had time like this - playing twenty questions at your apartment. A pit forms in his stomach as he remembers the conversation veering to Calypso, as it always seemed to. He shoves it away. Not this time. He steadies his nerves. “So, you want to play twenty questions?”

You agree, coming closer to him.

“If you could go anywhere, where would you go?”

Your eyes flick over to the clock. You have a solid hour, hour and a half before the others are supposed to get here. You stare at him, brushing hair out of his face.

“I’d be dead in the endless void of deep space.”

He cracks a smile at how on brand that response was. Your fingertips trail down to his neck, rethen shoulder. The smile doesn’t leave his face, not completely. Your heart beats loudly in anticipation.

“My turn. Do you want to make out?”

His head snaps up, eyes locked with yours, trying to tell if you’re serious or if this is another example of your distinct sense of humor. But he can tell it’s not - there’s something a little too close to the surface in your eyes.

“Yeah. Yes, totally-”

You grab his collar, pulling him in for a kiss, and leaning back against the empty counter.

His lips are soft and warm, moving gracefully with yours. You barely register that the first kiss ends before you dive back in. You angle your head, deepening the kiss. He plants one hand on the counter, the other making its way to the small of your back. You flick your tongue past his lips, and his grip on your waist tightens. You clutch his collar tighter, other hand moving through his hair, still damp at the ends.

You can tell he’s enjoying what you do by the way his mouth quirks up ever so slightly at the corners, and by the way he starts to harden beneath you. You roll your hips into his, and he falters, sighing, breath fanning your lips. Not quite a moan, but you’re getting there.

The front door opens before you can.

Leo pulls away reluctantly, very reluctantly, and turns off the stove.

“That was fast,” he says, panting slightly and still very flushed. They’re not supposed to be here for a while, still.

A tall girl enters the kitchen, dark strawberry blonde hair pulled over her shoulder. She looks between you and Leo with a sour expression on her face.

“Calypso,” Leo says.

"...Hi."

#leo valdez #leo valdez x reader #heroes of olympus #heroes of olympus x reader #percy jackson #pjo #lv light up the dark #is that the right tag #lutd #light up the dark #boy howdy is shit about to hit the fan #this isn't even the worst of it yet #the longest part to write was the making out at the end #I kept distracting myself #you know that scene in the princess diaries movie where mia is watching josh and lana kiss #that's how I felt #no thoughts head leo #o o f #just called myself out wow #anyway #enjoy this #pls rant to me in the tags and ask box about it teehee #i personally believe that pjo calypso and hoo calypso are two diffrernt peopel #hoo really ruined her character #i cast antagonize #i mean it #is believable ig #we just didn't get a transition #anyway yeah here's this

[allthemarrowoflife]

types of couples as my favourite marauders era shipps in no specific order

The Basically Married Couple (frank longbottom and alice fortescue) – they're the ones that have been together since like fourteen and were the first in the gang to start dating. everyone saw it coming, no one can picture them with other people. they're cute as hell, probably are friends with each other's moms and talk to them on a regular basis. they start unconsciously droping the "when we get married..." or "when we have our kids..." by the time they're sixteen and nobody thinks it's weird or too soon. definitely already had their wedding location discussed and decided by the time they graduated.

The Best Friends Couple (remus lupin and sirius black) – they're the ones that have been friends forever but always had that tiny bit of "more" subtext that made everyone question if they were really just friends long before they realised that maybe they weren't. they can have a whole conversation, anywhere, purely made of glances and eyebrow raises, thanks to years of friendship and familiarity. they are very much in love but their dynamic doesn't really change once they oficially get together cause they were already super close. inside jokes. will bicker like an old married couple at any given time. "if you finish that sentence I'm fucking divorcing you, we are NOT calling our future dog elvendork". 100% shit-talk the people they co-hate. probably plan on getting a flat together after graduation.

The Enemies to Friends to Lovers Couple (lily evans and james potter) – they're the ones that hated each other when they were kids but actually no they didn't. were great friends after they got a bit older. the typical "stop bickering and just make out already, it's starting to get ridiculous" kind of couple that absolutely everyone knew would happen eventually. never stopped calling each other by the last name, it just went from spitting it like an insult/saying it as joke just to be annoying to pronouncing it tenderly and as pet name. took a long while to get their shit together and go from friends to lovers because they didn't want to make the other uncomfortable or ruin the friendship and trust they had managed to build.

The Oh My God They Were Roommates Couple (marlene mckinnon and dorcas meadowes) – the one nobody saw coming but once it happened everyone had the "oooohhh that's cute" realisation moment. gradually progressed from mutual attraction and angsty freak out about being in love with a best friend you happen to share a room with to "oh shit is she flirting with me???" to putting all the cards on the table and finally making out. they get yelled at by their other roommates because "CAST A FUCKING SILENCING CHARM FOR MERLIN'S SAKE". totally the couple that drops dirty jokes and innuendos on a casual conversation. they make fun of the couples that don't share a room because "honestly, it makes life so much easier". remus and sirius agree with them, of course.

The Chill Friends to Lovers Couple (kingsley shacklebolt and fabian prewett) – there was no angst, there was no fake-hate, there wasn't even a previous subtext that made people wonder. they were friends and hang around together constantly. they started noticing how the other was actually really cute. they went on a date, decided to try it out and see where it would lead cause "if it's meant to be it'll be". the feelings grew naturally and they ended up falling head over heels in love. simple and cute. maybe a bit basic for fanfic standards but not every couple needs a big dramatic story, do they?

#marauders #marauders era #hp marauders #frank longbottom #alice fortescue #alice longbottom #fralice #frank x alice #remus lupin #sirius black #remus x sirius #sirius x remus #wolfstar #moony #padfoot #james potter #lily evans #jily #james x lily #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #marlene x dorcas #dorlene #kingsley shacklebolt #fabian prewett #kingsley x fabian

[tanyawritesstories]

She Bites | Max Phillips x Siren!Reader

I came up with the strange idea of: what if Max was bitten by another creature? And siren was the natural answer for the reader's creature. I imagined their water form as basically the mermaids (sirens) from Pirates of the Caribbean. Enjoy my weirdness!

Word count: 3.5k

Warnings: vampirism (duh), plenty of sexual innuendos, flirting, Max is a bit of a douche, insinuations of murder, blood, biting, fluff, Max and reader are unaware of each other's supernatural identities

•••

Your day at the office started slow but now it was picking up. You had just locked in your fourth sale, and began printing the finalization papers. You signed off on them and stood to walk them to your boss's office. On your way, you passed Andrew, looking the part of a hungover, underpaid college student, like he always did.

"Hey Y/N, you sure you don't want to come out tonight with us?" He asked.

"Um, no thank you, Andrew. I have something planned already," you responded politely.

"Aw, c'mon," he looked you up and down sleazily, "I can make it worth your while."

"Andrew, can't you tell the lady has important plans," the spritely voice from behind you made you tense and turn around. Your boss was standing there with a smug look on his handsome face. "She's been telling me how much she is looking forward to her date tonight."

You looked at the floor sheepishly and you could see Andrew shift awkwardly in place. "You're doing great on that presentation, buddy," Max assured the other man, "Now run along."

Andrew scurried back to his desk and Max leaned against the wall beside you, his arms crossed over his chest. "Are we still on for seven tonight?" He asked with a smirk.

You looked up at him and smiled, nodding. "Absolutely. You're picking me up at my place right?"

He nodded back. "Of course, sweet cheeks. Especially if there's a chance I can come inside after dinner."

You smirked back at him, your tone as flirty as his. "Play your cards right and maybe I'll let you."

He chuckled darkly. "Oh trust me, baby. I've never lost a game."

You took a step closer to him, booping his nose gently with your finger. "Then you should have nothing to worry about." At that, you tucked the papers for him into his crossed arms and walked back to your desk.

Of course you knew what kind of reputation Max Phillips carried. Who didn't. He was the type of person your sisters would call a man-slut. Arrogant, attractive, and brainless. Also the type you thought would make easy food.

Your clan had moved to the city only a few months ago, having come to the conclusion that there wasn't enough food in the ocean. You and several of your mer-sisters had taken to the land, tasked with feeding your family. It was getting increasingly more difficult for sirens to survive, especially out at sea. People didn't travel out on the ocean as much as they did a hundred years ago. Plus, now their boats were made of metal and a lot bigger. Even with super strength and the combined forces of the clan, they were hard to take down. Attacks usually ended with more than a few injuries and only a small reward.

Blending in with the humans was easy. Your tail turned to legs when on land and your slit eyes, fangs, and claws only came out when you attacked.

You had figured out a plan to be able to support the clan for hopefully a long time. If you were able to take control of this company, you could employ the rest of your clan to run the business and any new hires would be dinner. It was easy. Or so you thought. You hadn't exactly anticipated the charming and quick-witted sales manager standing in your way.

You had taken out a few minor employees already, none of them were missed and nothing was suspected. You had used your siren charm to hypnotize them into submitting resignation forms the day before you took them.

You were confused when Mike went missing before you could get him. You thought maybe one of your sisters had gotten to him first, but perhaps he just quit. It was frustrating to think you missed such a good potential meal, but alas you had work to do.

You knew you had to ultimately take down Ted, but Ted was wound around Max's finger. So your current target was Max. You played along with his douchey behavior, falling into the role of the shy, naive new girl that was easy to woo. It had worked thus far, getting you a date with your target victim. You planned on insinuating that you would sleep with him, get him back to your place, and then kill him. It would be easy.

You had managed to conjure up a final sale before you left for the day. You gave Max a wave and flirty wink as you walked by his office. You mouthed the words 'don't be late' before the elevator doors closed.

~~~~

Back at your apartment you had completed putting the finishing touches on your makeup. Minimal, since beauty came naturally to sirens. No matter how they looked, they were always beautiful and always praised for it.

You slipped on the sleek black dress. It was satin with thin straps and a slight V plunge in the middle, exposing a teasing amount of cleavage. You looked good enough to eat. You knew Max would think the same. You grabbed a light jacket and donned it to cover your top half. You heard the doorbell ring and looked at the clock on the wall. Five minutes early, typical punctuality. You grabbed a pair of black heels, quickly throwing them on and grabbing your purse.

You found Max with a surprisingly sincere smile on his face when you opened the door.

"Good evening, doll," he greeted, "Ready for our date?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," you replied cheerfully.

He was wearing a nice suit as usual, but he had foregone the tie and waistcoat. Instead having the first few buttons of his shirt undone. It was a very relaxed look for him, and, shockingly, you didn’t dislike it.

You walked to his car, once again surprised when he opened the door for you. You slid in and thanked him. The drive to the restaurant didn't take as long as you thought it would.

Max offered you his arm as you walked in together. You had made the reservation, not trusting him to do it. You let him pull out your chair for you as you removed your jacket. Max only noticed once he was sitting in his own chair across from you. You snatched the wine list and glanced over it. From the corner of your eye you could see him staring unashamedly at your chest where the dip exposed the tops of your breasts.

“Do you have a preference?” You asked. “Anything red is fine with me,” Max answered, his eyes didn’t leave your body even when he knew you were watching him. You scanned back over the list, picking out something simple. “You look stunning tonight.”

You looked up to find Max with a smirk on his face. Willing a blush to come to your cheeks, you looked down at your plate. “That’s kind of you, Max. But I’m afraid you’re a bit of a liar.” He pouted adorably, leaning his elbows on the table. “Nonsense. You’re the most beautiful woman in the office,” he complimented. He reached over and took your hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand.

You knew that was rubbish. Everyone had a crush on either Amanda or Zabeth. If someone had a crush on you it was because of your siren charm, otherwise they hated you because you did your job and got praised for it.

You ordered your food and found it easy to make conversation with Max. He kept up the perfect attitude with snarky and flirty thrown in. You weren’t learning much about him but you were learning his traits. You didn’t expect him to be such a good listener. He hung onto every word you said and asked questions here and there. You almost felt bad for spinning him the entire fake backstory you had made up for yourself. You tried asking him questions but he only answered a few before turning the conversation back to you.

By the time dessert came you had almost run out of fake information and stories to tell him. This was getting tiring, you hadn’t expected him to act like this. Most men couldn’t shut up about themselves, but you hadn’t gotten hardly anything out of him. It was strange, for sure. Max offered to pay and you let him think he was doing you a favor. He stood first and grabbed your coat, helping slide it over your arms and back. His hands stayed on your shoulders and he whispered into your ear.

“So did I play well?” You smirked turning to face him, putting your hands on his chest. “You’ll see, later.”

He placed his hand on the small of your back and led you back out to his car. He drove with one hand, the other was draped over the center console. You figured it was time to answer his question now. You took his hand and rested it on your knee, keeping your eyes out the window. You could hear him turn his head briefly to look at you. You waited until his eyes were back on the road before sliding his hand up your leg a little bit, you let go and allowed him to decide what he wanted to do next.

He took the hint and slid his hand further up your leg, pushing your dress up in the process. He stopped on your inner thigh, slowly rubbing your warm skin. You knew what he was doing, he was teasing you, trying to make you beg. This time you weren’t going to pretend, he would wait until you got home and was inside your room. If you let him live that long.

You made it back home and invited Max in. “Make yourself comfortable, you want anything more to drink?”

You strolled to your drink cabinet, kicking your heels off on the way there, and pulled out scotch for yourself. “I’ll have what you’re having, sweet cheeks,” he said sitting down on your sofa.

You turned, grabbing two glasses from the cabinet. You jumped when you felt his chest press into your back, his nose nuzzling into your neck. How did he get behind you so fast? You probably just didn’t hear him. It was unlikely with your acute senses but who knows.

“Can we skip the drinks?” He whispered huskily into your ear. You reached back and ran your fingers into his hair. “You’re eager, aren’t you?” You replied making sure your tone was as smooth as his.

"I'm hungry," he said, "and I wanna know what you taste like." He ended his sentence with a squeeze to your ass that actually made you gasp. He was good at dirty talk, you were almost starting to feel bad about having to kill such a fine specimen.

You turned around in his grasp and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling his lips to yours in a passionate kiss. You expected him to try and heat it up right away, yet he surprised you once again. He took the kiss as slow and deep as you, keeping one hand on your ass, massaging it to his liking.

You broke away from his lips after a while of having them locked together, instead trailing kisses over his jaw. He took the break to place kisses and licks up and down your neck. You nuzzled your nose into the flesh of his neck, seeing the perfect moment open up.

You didn't hesitate.

Your pupils became slits, with your fingernails extending into sharp points and anchoring themselves into his suit coat. Your fangs descended into their proper places, now poised for harvesting. You barely registered the feeling of his teeth scraping along your skin before you bit down.

Your fangs pierced his skin with more resistance than you were expecting. However, that wasn’t the strangest thing to occur at that moment. You felt a sharp burning pain in your own neck, right where Max had been licking. Did he...he had just bitten you!

You retracted your fangs and shoved Max away, his teeth having unlodged from your skin. You glanced at your neck where two puncture holes were now steadily exuding blood.

"You fucking bit me!" You shouted.

Max recovered from your shove, his eyes tinged yellow, a smear of blood on his upper lip…and his own fangs.

"Why the hell do you taste like fish!" He yelled back.

You were beyond confused. "What? Doesn't matter, who the hell are you!" You grabbed a towel and quickly placed it over your bite wound.

"Me? Who are you!" He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, "Ugh, and why in fucks name does your blood taste salty."

"Usually when I bite people, they die, not complain about how my blood tastes," you grimaced.

"That's what happens when you bite a vampire, sugar tits," he deadpanned.

Your mouth dropped open. Well that explains a lot, but in addition, it made you angry. How were you supposed to take over the company now?

"I didn't know I had a fellow vamp working in my building," he smiled, "Though, that doesn't explain the fishy taste."

You rolled your eyes, heading towards your bedroom to find a bandage. "I'm not a vampire, I'm a siren. Did you honestly think vampires were the only supernatural beings walking this planet?"

Max followed not far behind you, intrigued by your revelation. "A siren, like a mermaid? Where's your tail?"

"I don't have a tail while I'm on land, and no, sirens are much deadlier than mermaids," you informed gruffly. Max appeared to be thinking over your words while he watched you tend to the two holes in your neck. He was unaffected by your bite, his skin having already healed itself.

"Why were you trying to kill me?" He suddenly inquired. You looked over to see him lying back on your bed. He had removed his suit coat and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, comfortable as could be.

"Because my sister's and I need to eat and I don't like killing just anyone on the street," you answered.

"Are the rest of your sisters as hot as you?" He sat up as you crossed the room, watching your every move. You sneered at him, "I figured killing you was an easy way to take over the company, therefore providing my family with a steady food source, and ridding the world of one less asshole."

Max nodded along to your words. "Great idea, sugar plum, but half the office has already been turned. Tough luck," he mocked.

You swore under your breath, "Then there's no point in working for the company anymore. You can leave now."

No wonder it had been so easy to lure him in, he was playing you too. You both fell right into each other's traps.

Max rose from your bed. He walked to you and gave you a teasing smile, pinching your cheek like an affectionate grandparent. "Don't worry, fish lips. Maybe we can work something out," he winked at you.

You pulled away from him and glared as he swung his jacket over his shoulder. "See you at the office tomorrow!"

~~~~

Max hadn't noticed you came into his office as you entered the same time as Evan was leaving. The loud thud of papers landing harshly on his desk made him look up.

"My resignation form," you said, "since my purpose has been...worn out."

Max looked taken aback despite the fact that you told him you would be quitting last night. "Why is that a reason to leave?" He asked, leaning back in his chair.

"I literally just told you, and you know about me when my existence is supposed to be a secret so…" you trailed off.

Max looked to be thinking again, never a good sign. He took your papers off his desk and promptly threw them in the trash bin. "No."

You raised your eyebrows, "No?" He nodded, "No. You happen to be doing the best work here so I can't let you go."

You put your hands on your hips. The audacity of this man! "Huh, right ok. Then I'll just walk out and never come back and there's nothing you can do to stop me," you said firmly. You turned heading towards the door.

"I could tell."

You looked back at Max, who was now standing, hands in his pockets. "Excuse me?"

"I could tell. I could walk out and announce to everyone that you're part fish and all I'd have to do to prove it, is throw some salt water on you," he threatened. You realized as he talked that he was dead serious, and it scared you. "Yeah, I did my research on sirens, believe it or not. I know how you operate," his smile evil and teasing at the same time as he moved to the front of the desk and sat on the edge. "If you stay, your secret is safe with me."

"That's blackmail," you stated obviously.

"Pfft," Max rolled his eyes, "And? Does it look like I'm giving you much choice here, sweet cheeks? You stay with the company and I'll help you, it's a lot easier for me to obtain blood, and I can do it without killing them. I can help you."

You sighed in frustration. What choice did you have? You hated him for not giving you an alternative, but the company wasn't all bad and pay was decent.

"Fine." Was all you said before walking out and resuming your work.

~~~~

Max had stayed true to his word, you had been listening, and he hadn't even hinted that you might be a dangerous supernatural creature to anyone. Maybe he was due more credit than you gave him

You were currently sitting on your sofa, wearing comfortable leggings and a t-shirt, drinking a beer while watching a movie. You were interrupted by a knock on your door. When you answered it you didn't expect to see Max standing on the other side with a cooler in one hand. He was wearing a button up with a black leather jacket and jeans, it was the most casual you'd ever seen him and he still looked so good.

"I brought dinner," he said simply. He unzipped the cooler bag and showed you its contents; four large plastic bags filled halfway up with blood.

"Max!" You whisper yelled. You ignored his smile and pulled him inside by his arm, quickly closing the door. "You can't just show me that, wait till you're inside," you sighed, "Now what do you want?"

"These are for you," he said, "and your family of fishes." He set the cooler down on the counter and proceeded to take the bags of blood and arrange them nicely in your fridge.

"You got that for me?" You asked, skeptical of his sudden kindness. "Yes, I said I would help you, so I am." He grabbed a beer out of the fridge while he was in there and took your place on the sofa.

This man was making a habit out of shocking you. He noticed as you stood shell-shocked in the middle of the room. "Did you really think I wouldn't keep my word?"

You wanted to be mad at him, you desperately wanted to be mad.

"No, I didn't think you would. I thought you were joking," you admitted. You took a seat next to him and took another sip of your beer.

"You wound me, fish lips," he sassed. You sighed, trying to maintain your current mindset of not being mad at him. “Only one thing,” you looked at him, “Can I see your tail?”

Your eyes practically rolled on their own. “Aw, c’mon,” he pouted, “I brought dinner for your whole family and saved your job, it’s the least you could do.”

“You do know that when I’m in the water the tail is the only thing I’m wearing,” you said. You watched as Max’s lips slowly turned upwards into a smug smirk. “You dickhead, that’s exactly what you want!” You took a pillow from the sofa and chucked it at his head, heading towards your room to shut yourself in.

He burst into laughter and got up to follow you. You attempted to close the door in his face but he caught it. Even with all your strength thrown against it he was able to hold it open like it was nothing.

“No, I’m genuinely curious, sweetheart,” he said once he was able to stop laughing. You stopped fighting him once you heard him. He’d never called you sweetheart before, it was normally irritating nicknames.

“I’ll think about it,” you relented. He smiled. “I did bring some of that blood just for us. You want to have dinner with me again?”

For once you found yourself smiling along with Max Philips.

#pedro pascal #max phillips #max phillips x reader #Bloodsucking Bastards #vampires #sirens

[maoam]

Okay so I want to make couple things clear. Let me start this by saying I’ve been in this fandom for literal years and seen all kinds of stuff from “Sasuke shouldn’t breed because eugenics” to “Sasuke doesn’t even deserve Naruto” to “Naruto would sexually assault Sasuke” to “Sasuke would sexually assault Naruto” to “people talk too much about Sasuke’s suffering” to god knows what else that has made me dislike sns fandom and be wary of it.

I also don’t personally think Sasuke is “female coded” it’s more about homoeroticism if anything, but it does say something if a whole bunch of people who aren’t women (including one of the directors of the anime) think he’s heroine-like or should have been a female character. I, however, understand what people mean when they say it, because it’s not common for example to see a male character sexualized in a way Sasuke is, that usually happens to female characters. That obviously doesn’t make him a woman or fragile or erase the fact he does cool things or is aggressive or vengeful sometimes and isn’t “girly” at all.

The way I ship Naruto and Sasuke is probably the least problematic thing ever, I’m protective of Sasuke and don’t want any non-con/dub-con (I won’t attack people for it, I just avoid it), hell I prefer reading fluff or angst. Me pointing out the sexualization of Sasuke is literally just being honest. People used to be more honest about it, I remember even men on forum were mocking how other shonen sexualize women but Naruto is just yaoi fanservice and sexualizes Sasuke when the manga was still going. And I have seen even people who aren’t in the Naruto fandom to notice it just based on panels. Because it really is that obvious (to people who aren’t in denial that is).

I don’t know about that because I have never talked about that issue or reblogged anything about it. But I have seen plenty of posts equating Naruto to shojo protagonist and Sasuke to his bad boy, and how Naruto is more “feminine” and Sasuke is “more traditionally masculine” because Naruto cries or whatever. And looking at the blogs they are serious about it, but of course most people don’t have a problem with that.

Nah I don’t think I will. I think pressing against someone with your naked body is weird as hell, not even including all the innuendo with that whole encounter. Not that kind of “harassment” but you know, drawn suggestively. And yes Karin flirted with Sasuke but she was also couple times creepy (not to him directly). And Kishi obviously didn’t have to draw any of this. In op stuff like this happens to usually Nami. And then right after we have Karin coming on Sasuke’s skin. This whole particular volume was full of Sasuke fanservice, starting from that suggestive chapter cover, jutsu with Sai and not even ending there. Oh and I forgot Oro and Kabuto and Obito from my list. They all act weird with Sasuke and want to kidnap and possess him. Oro calls Sasuke’s face and body beautiful, Kabuto says he wants a “fragile” Uchiha and wants Sasuke to stay by his side forever. Like is anyone seriously not seeing this.

Seriously calling me “puritan” over this?

That being said, I don’t ship Sasuke with any of these people, I only ship him with Naruto, in a consensual relationship. But I’m not gonna pretend I don’t see what’s there.

The latter: the only tweet I have seen about that was the tweet mocking the claim Sakura married him for his money, I have not seen the original tweet (and I don’t remember what that ask was or whether the anon had seen it). I stay far away from Naruto twitter for the exact reason that everyone is crazy there (though it is anime fandoms in general).

Jesus... the misogyny is referring to people who say if you don’t like Sakura and like Sasuke you’re a misogynist, not whatever post op has made about Sakura being written misogynistically. I’m sick of female character stans always pulling the misogyny card if someone doesn’t care much about a female character who is not written well. Sakura would be the easiest to ignore considering Sasuke ignores her as well if her stans didn’t constantly act like Sasuke ruined her life. Not to mention I’m always ready to defend her from things like people saying she’s an asshole for not being interested in Lee or turning him down or people acting like Hinata is much better than her because she simped the right guy. But people acting like they’re feminists for treating Sakura as the biggest victim in the story is just..... too much.

If op doesn’t act like the aforementioned people then we’re cool, none of these were an attack on them as a person. Just towards the hypocrisy in sns fandom as well as the ridiculous claims by Sakura stans. I’m tired honestly. I’m not going to pretend I haven’t seen the same stuff for years and years.

#personal ramblings #well that was a lot

[jonroxton]

I don't know who needs to hear this but Lady Jessica is Muh'Queen and she deserves the world!

However, I'm kinda nervous for the new movie, because, I've heard a rumor from several test screenings that Alia doesn't come up ... like at all. As in, not even acknowledging that Jessica is pregnant.

And I don't know how well you know Dune lore, but in the books, Frank Herbert had originally written that Alia "The Abomination" came from the fact that she was Paul and Jessica's kid - due to the fact that Jessica is technically and legally Paul's concubine since she was a bought slave girl bound to the Duke and never married Leto, so in the eyes of the Imperium (and the Freman) she's actually Paul's property inherited from Duke to Duke (Having nothing to do with my 90's R&B revival group Duke2Duke.)

And the only thing that made Herbert change this is that the publishers in the 1960s said they wouldn't publish his manuscript if it had Mother/Son incest. But afterward every Dune adaptation (except for the mini-series) have written in Paul + Jessica = Alia and its changed at the last minute every time.

And I feel, because of Game of Thrones, that the new Dune adaptation is gonna finally do it. That we're gonna get a time jump in a sequel and Alia is born and they're gonna strongly hint that she's Paul and Jessica's kid.

Compounding on this is the testimonial from test screenings that after Leto dies that Paul and Jessica's relationship changes and she becomes less a mother and more what she was to Leto sort of becoming Paul's partner/body guard/ and cuddle buddy, which, fair enough, she was that for Paul in the books too in the early days of being with the Fremen ... but there's talk among audience and crew members that they're building Paul and Jessica up into something other than just mother and son.

Like the stunt and fight coordinator did an interview where he was talking about a very physically grabby and emotional sequence of Jessica teaching Paul the 'weirding way' of fighting and he said "But I don't know if the studio is gonna make them cut it out' which makes you wonder, especially since it had always been the studio that had intervened in Atreides incest in the past ...

I mean, even Children of Dune on Scifi is chalk-a-full of innuendo between Alia and Paul, and Leto and Ganni.

Listen, I know this is the second time I've sent in a concern of mother/son incest ... and listen, I ain't saying that I might not ship Jon/Lois ... just a little. But I want a Dune sequel and I feel people are not gonna be down with Paul/Jessica ... even if after they both drink the water of life Paul knows what its like to have sex with Jessica ... as does her entire family to be honest.

Which is weird.

Look, I'm just a simple man coming to the only other dune fan I know on this hell site cause I just got ...

I've got concerns, man ... ya'boi's got concerns.

I believe it lol. the bene gesserit breeding program is so convoluted and weird by heretics of dune that the shockingly inbred nature of the atreides heirs became the rule not the exception. I think this was always Herbert's intention, working from the kwizatz haderach , the zenith of eugenics superiority (whatever that means), to the base uncontrollable endless succession of gholas and heirs who are nothing but pawns for a grander scheme (like always). by heretics the alia analog Lucille is straight up trying to seduce Miles the leto analog. So yeah, it's everywhere and it makes sense that Herbert toyed with bringing it out overtly by having alia as Paul and Jessica's child as early as the first book.

as to your other concerns, I have two things for ya, hopefully helpful:

1. rumors abound so take everything you read with a grain of salt. remember that every report and leak is out of context. you're getting one snippet of one scene from a two hour movie from Some Dude Online. remember all the spoilers you've read for tv shows and movies that ended up being so far off the mark that it reads back like fanfic. you're in shrodinger's dune territory here lol Paul/Jessica happens and doesn't happen and you won't know until you see it.

2. from what I've read the movie will end with the Jamis incident and there is no feyd so no final showdown. that alone tells us the movie will encompass the move, the betrayal and the attack, with Paul's induction to the Fremen as the end. everything else put off to the possible second movie. alia (and feyd) not appearing doesn't change much of anything story wise, so I say don't stress over it. we don't even know if we're gonna get part 2 for them to even try to pull that Paul/Jessica card. eugenics screws things up for thousands of years and that's bad is one of dune's many thesis. Herbert was forced to change that aspect, but he didn't change it anywhere else and I don’t think the movie will either. so strap in kiddos, time to get sci fi uncomfortable lol

annnnd I think dune is gonna alienate tons of people, same way each successive book after the first dune saw people leave the series for it's weirdness. they're gonna go in expecting Star Wars or even 2001 and gonna come out wondering

what if like the whole world was addicted to special heroin oil that fueled space ships and everything was controlled by mind reading nuns who want to control god. I. CANNOT. WAIT.

#mystuff #thephantomcasebook #dune #dune Is really like EUGENICS IS TERRIFYING BE CAREFUL GUYS #DO DRUGS! #anyways yeah #ask away I love these!

[knjnvrland]

Prank Wars - ch. 3

> pairing | jungkook x reader

> word count | 3.2k

> genre | college!au, fluff, smut, angst

> warnings | swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual innuendos

> synopsis | College can be a stressful time in anyone’s life as it is, why don’t we throw a little prank war in the mix to make it harder?

> fic masterlist

> A/N | English is not my first language, I’m sorry for the eventual spelling mistake, please let me know if you find any!

Chapter 3 - Adding Wood

“Dude please, you have to help me” Taehyung was at Jungkook’s place way too early in the morning, already bothering the younger one.

“Just let it go” Jungkook rolled his eyes, grabbing himself some cereal and pouring it into the bowl on the table. Cereal first, milk later, whoever thinks otherwise is a psychopath.

“I can’t! Someone uploaded a picture of it to the school's twitter gossip page and now I can’t go anywhere without being called a fucking tampon!” The incident at the party happened over a week ago and people were still talking about it. For the first few days it was actually kind of funny and Taehyung played along, but after trying to get a girl’s number and getting a no from her because of it, he finally decided he needed to get his revenge. “Beside that, you were the actual target, don’t you want to do something about it?”

“Not really.” Jungkook answered with his mouth full. “It’s not like she actually got me, and I’m not into the idea of fueling the weird vendetta she has against me.”

“But if she tried once she probably will again!” Taehyung finally took a sit and stopped his pacing, trying to convince his friend using a different approach. “I know my sister, she won’t stop at that.” That was a lie, he knew you were not really one to hold grudges, and whatever it was that Jungkook did to you had him surprised just as much as anyone else at how you reacted, but he was saving that picture of you for so long now, just waiting for a justifiable chance to use it, and this was the perfect opportunity. 

Jungkook finished his cereal and started to grab his stuff to head to class, with Taehyung always behind him, blabbering about the stupid plan. It wasn’t even that big of a plan, really, just publishing an old photo of you on that same twitter page, the old 'an eye for an eye' thing. He was only bothering Jungkook so much because Jungkook actually knew who ran the account, and had kept it a secret from everyone else. “Fine! Okay, whatever, just send me the stupid pic and I’ll make sure it’s up by tonight.” He gave up. In the year he knew Tae, it was obvious the bleached hair boy was not keen on giving up, specially on a dumb idea.

“Thanks! But wait until we’re all together tonight, I can’t wait to see her face.” Taehyung hugged Jungkook from behind, receiving a shove from the other boy’s elbow, and followed him outside.

You were all at Jin’s apartment that night, it was game night and your older brother was trying to establish some sort of new tradition. Hoseok was just finishing his over complicated explanation on the rules for War when you got the notification. It’s not like you used social media that much, but the appeal of the twitter account grew on you ever since the accident and checking the new comments under your brother’s picture became part of your morning routine and made your days begin at least 5% happier because of it. Even if he wasn’t the real target, that shit was amazing and a few of your classmates even stopped you to comment on it, the embarrassment of it all washed away quickly.

And that’s why you were left absolute speechless being betrayed like that by same website that made your week great. You must’ve been about fifteen when that picture was taken. You were going through some sort of late horse phase and had been taking horseback riding classes all summer, and on the last day of it there was a competition where you placed second. In the picture you were at the podium, still wearing your helmet with hair wet from sweat sticking in odd directions. You had a pink shirt that read 'I love horses’ on it and matching pink boots. Your smile was wide and your braces were on full display while you held your silver medal. The picture was cropped, of course, seeing as Tae wasn’t on it and you remember clearly that he took those classes with you and was standing right beside you when your mom took the photo. You looked like such a child, no boobs, no hips, ridiculous choice of clothes. You took your time growing up, being the baby of the family, and now looking back you could totally understand why your only friends were your brothers. You loathed that picture ever since, and was sure that you had destroyed all evidence it ever existed, but apparently someone saved a copy. Your train of thoughts was interrupted by a laughing Jimin sitting across from you.

“Oh my god y/n” he had tears in his eyes already, and the commotion made Alice scoot closer to peep at his phone and see what was so funny anyway.

At that everyone took out their phones to check what the fuss was about, and a big laughter erupted all around you. Your eyes laid on Jungkook, the only one laughing that did not have his phone out as well. “Why are you laughing?” You tried to ignore the multiple questions your other friends were throwing at you.

“I bet he’s the one that posted it” Yoongi stated and everyone could see the minute you started to shoot daggers through your eyes.

“How did you even get that?” Namjoon had his phone out and was sharing the screen with Hoseok, but only the dancer was paying attention, taking a screenshot of the page. “A few years back she purged that photo from existence”.

“Or so she thought” Taehyung had this side smile on his face and it took everything in you to not slap it off.

“It's not that bad honey” Alice, who was sitting beside you, squeezed your shoulder “It’s a childhood pic, we only know it’s you because we’re close, no one else will recognize you” You were still speechless taking your friend’s phone from her hand and pointing at the description with the photo. ‘Local drink thrower used to be a horse girl, let’s hope she doesn’t use a horseshoe next time’ and then, as if it wasn’t obvious already, they had tagged your account.

“They left out the best of it” Jungkook blurted out, and everyone’s attention went back to him.

“So it was you” Your voice was barely audible.

“It was Taehyung, actually, I just helped” he shrugged “and it could be worse, I sent it telling them you were a teenager when it was taken, not a kid”. Tae bursted out laughing again, followed by Jimin.

“At least it’s a glow up, y/n” your pink haired friend stated “you're hot now, it gives people hope”. 

“Hey, that’s my sister” Jin warned.

“And she. is. hot.” Jimin insisted, earning himself a slap in the back of the head from the eldest of the group, but winking at you anyway.

You could appreciate what he was trying to do, as well as Alice, who still had her hand on your shoulder. You had heard stories of similar things they posted about each other last year, so no one was really bothered with Jungkook’s and Taehyung’s actions, but it still made you uneasy. You were still new in college and already so many things were being spread about you. The fact that everyone knew your friend group didn’t help, and you hoped you could survive the rest of the school year, at least. 

Everyone’s attention went back to the game they never began, but Jungkook’s eyes were set on you. He felt a bit sorry, of course, but you seemed to take it okay as you grabbed a card to read your goal on the game, not bothering to say anything to him. Seeing you at the party he expected a bit of a bigger outburst, and when you barely reacted he worried he crossed a line with the stupid prank, but then, just as you finished your turn and everyone’s focus was now on Namjoon, you looked straight at him and mouthed “I'm gonna kill you”. He didn’t quite know what he got himself into, but he knew he was in for a ride.

A month had gone by and Halloween was approaching fast. Between classes getting harder, school work starting to pile up, and a few overnights already at the library, you had spent way too much time thinking of a way to get back as Jungkook, but was not really successful. That is, until you overheard Hoseok and Namjoon talking while the three of you were having lunch together.

“Wait, backtrack, what halloween party?” You interrupted the boys conversation.

“It’s at Delta Sigma’s again” Namjoon clarified “but it’s dumb ‘cause it’s not even a dress up party, they’re just using halloween as an excuse to get drunk again.”

“And what’s the problem with that?" Hobi stole one of Joon's french fries, having finished his. "We could all use a bit of fun before things get chaotic with university work.”

“The problem is” Namjoon stole it back and ate it “it's not a halloween party if we’re not dressing up.”

“Of course it is, if it’s on Halloween’s night-" before Hoseok could continue, and you knew the two of them could go on like that for hours -you’ve seen it happening-, you took your chance.

“Okay I’m sorry to interrupt but I need your help with something” you smiled big, the kind of smile that told them nothing good was coming their way, the kind that had your friends terrified of you, the kind that they could not say no to.

You ended up getting everyone on board with it, they all still felt a little bit bad about the photo prank, and once you convinced Alice -who never wanted to do anything bad or, as Yoongi would say, fun- it was pretty easy getting the rest of them. You faked conversations for days on the group chat, and you were surprised at how everyone was able to keep a secret for so long, but finally the day was here.

It was hard thinking of an excuse as to why Yoongi could’t be Jungkook’s ride to the party, but after a bit of bribing, Taehyung offered to take him before he could ask the older one. He still owned you, anyway, and he should be glad he was not the target of this prank as well. That being settled, you all made the effort of getting to the party when it was actually supposed to start.

“What’s taking him so long?” You asked out loud, not to anyone in specific.

“Have you tried texting your brother?” Yoongi was beside you and heard it. He wasn’t one to talk much when he was still sober, so the two of you normally sticked around each other, specially when Alice was as hyper as she was now, taking advantage of the fact that you got here early when there was still good alcohol around, and drinking as much of it as she could with Jimin.

“Dude, is it always like this when we get to places on time?” Said drunk boy threw his arm around Yoongi.

“You would know if you tried every once in a while” he moved away from the embrace, and Jimin took the cue and hung himself around you instead.

“Nah, only y/n could make me do this” you smiled thankfully at him, and was distracted for a moment when some sort of commotion took place at the room near you, where the front door was located.

You untangled yourself from Jimin and marched there without a second thought, and you had just spotted Taehyung leaning over a wall when someone screamed “Who hired the clown?”. And there was Jungkook, still midway at the entrance door, dressed head to toe as a circus clown. Laughter erupted everywhere around the room and you could even recognize Jin’s loud one somewhere behind you, but you were too focused at the boy staring straight into your soul. Jungkook had locked eyes with you and you took your sweet time smiling victoriously back at him. No words needed to be said for him to know that it was all your doing. Some guy from the fraternity came towards him and patted him on the back, and Jungkook responded by laughing along and making his way inside. You knew he was embarrassed by how red his ears were, and by the thumbs up your brother sent you from across the room, but he was a good sport and played along with it, taking pictures, getting in character and smiling along with the jokes. You were a little annoyed at how well he was handling it, but you already knew he was just that type of person and honestly, you could even appreciate him a little bit for it. You got cold feet a couple hours ago, when you were getting ready, and even tried to call it off, but Alice, of all people, stopped you. You would have felt horrible if he actually was hurt by the prank and the pictures that would go around after tonight were enough to satisfy you as far as revenges went, you didn’t need the boy feeling bad as well. Jimin snuck back beside you and pulled you in a commemorative embrace, and you followed him to the dance floor. Your mission here was done, now it was time to have fun.

And you tried to, but your plan backfired a bit when every now and then a girl would approach your friend group and ask for Jungkook’s number. But apparently that was a normal thing for him at parties, as Jimin had pieces of paper already with Jungkook’s number written on them shoved into his pockets.

“He wrote his number a bunch of times and distributed amongst us once last year, but I still menage to find pieces of paper with it in every pocket of every pair of pants I own” Jimin took a bunch out, to prove his point.

“How are you even friends with him?” You couldn’t hold back a laugh.

“What can we do? He’s a crackhead, but he’s our crackhead” he handed you a few pieces of paper and you threw them up like they were confetti.

For the rest of the night you’d have to stop whatever you were doing so Jimin could hand someone Jungkook’s number, but it didn’t matter because at the end of the day, he would still be known by all those girls as the boy who showed up dressed as a clown, and that was good enough for you.

After the party things quieted down for a bit, as everyone’s work load got heavier. The pictures of Jungkook as a clown still made a few rounds and became a meme amongst your friends, being sent as an answer to basically everything. He pretended to be annoyed at first but couldn’t really keep up with everyone and just gave up, you won. It was already mid November and Jungkook was not really thinking of a way to get back at you. He was a little afraid to keep adding wood to that fire, but his pride was a little bit hurt. And then, the perfect opportunity was handed to him on a silver tray.

There were a few of you at the boy’s place. Jungkook and Taehyung were playing videogames, while Alice, Hoseok and you were at the kitchen cooking dinner. It was a chill and uneventful Wednesday night, and you gathered just because no one had anything better to do. You were just  telling your friends on the new updates you got on the guy you were currently crushing on.

After Jungkook’s prank, you ended up getting drunk with Jimin and Alice and bumped into the same guy you met at the previous party you went at Delta Sigma, he was still bright eyed and handsome, but now he also had a name: Ray. Even his name was cool. You ended up dancing together and talking a bit, but never got around to exchanging phone numbers, so you haven’t seen him since. You had a vague memory of him mentioning his major was something related to engineerings, and one of your classmate’s girlfriend was a chemical engineering student, so you asked her to look around, but with no success, and that’s what you were updating your friends on.

“I could ask around to the guys, if he frequents their parties someone must know him" Hoseok said, occupying his hands with the peeling of a piece of string cheese.

“I don’t want to seem like a stalker, though” you stood up to check the oven, where you were waiting for the potatoes to be done “and maybe he’s not even interested, I told him I was in lit, he could have looked for me”.

“Maybe he just forgot babes, you were both pretty drunk” Alice pointed out.

“As if I was the only one” you teased back “but seriously, I don’t want you to go out of your way to find him, if it’s supposed to happen, it will”

“It’s up to you, you know I wouldn’t mind” Hobi finished his cheese and stood up to get another piece from the fridge “and besides, you’ve been so stressed out, a good lay could help” Alice glared at him and you scoffed.

“Hobi, not even the best sex of my life could ease the stress of trying to finish that damn Bukowski paper” You played along, as Jungkook approach the counter and reached for a piece of sliced tomato on the other side.

“Bukowski? I like his stuff” you rolled your eyes at him and went to get him another beer, knowing the reason he made himself present could only be that.

“Of course you would” you handed him the beverage and, while chewing, he signaled ‘two’ with his hands, letting you know Tae also wanted one.

He took it and went away for a second to deliver the drink, but came back to the same spot “what were you even talking about, anyway?”

“Y/n likes a boy -ouch” Hobi started to answer, and Alice kicked him under the table, but it was already too late, Jungkook’s eyes were sparkling with curiosity.

“So the ice queen has a heart, who’s the poor soul?” He was trying to get a reaction out of you and you knew it.

“None of your business” You took the potatoes out of the oven “and get out of my way before I throw this at you”

“You have terrible aim” at that, Taehyung joined Jungkook hovering over the counter “and look, Tae’s even here, I’m safe” you rolled your eyes and decided to not further the little back and forth. Hobi and Alice were already setting up the table and you urged the two younger ones to help and stop bothering you.

They listened, not really because of you but more so because of the other two around you sending them warning glares, and the evening continued nicely, with everyone even forgetting the conversation about the pretty boy. Well, not everyone.

> A/N | We're starting to get savage here. Have a nice day, wherever and whoever you are :)

TAGLIST  @w1tchcraftt

TAGLIST IS OPEN!

#prank wars #jjk #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #bts fanfiction #bts fic #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #college!au #university!au

[nohshinwoos]

dan and phil videos i watch when i’m anxious, depressed or just generally feel like shit

hi guys!

so the other day i was feeling very anxious and one thing that always helps me to feel less anxious is watching dan & phil videos, so that’s what i did for a while to get my mind off of things. it’s something about their voices that really calms me down and helps me through my anxiety.

that got me thinking about making a list of some of my fav videos that help me when i don’t feel well, in hopes it might help any of you feel better when you have shitty days too. 

so, without further ado, here’s the list! (well, under the cut because it got longer than expected...)

(these are in no particular order btw.)

phil’s channels

any day in the life video or the week in the life video

ditl manchester

ditl london

ditl japan

festive ditl

ditl australia

witl

(i like all pinofs but these are probably my favs)

pinof 1

pinof 2

pinof 9

pinof 10

the tree

the wardrobe

halloween baking: brownie graveyard!

dyeing my hair blue!

i got attacked by a squirrel

phil’s favourites | poo-purri!

i’m in a movie!

reacting to old photos!

6 things i regret buying!

a sleepless night with phil

another sleepless night with phil

blindfolded cat face game

would phil survive this anime?

easter baking - extreme tripple chocolate nests

halloween baking - spooky cupcakes

the not-milk challenge

the cheese challenge

will dan and phil survive australia?

dan and phil pastel edits in real life!

why i can’t go back to the gym...

predicting dan’s future!

dan curls my hair!

viewers pick my outfit!

5 things i regret buying - inflatable halloween costume!

dan and phil and dogs!

easter baking - bunny biscuits!

what dan and phil text each other

dan and phil massive pizza mukbang

dan and phil try pumpkin carving

reacting to myself on a tv quiz show!

clicking on risky links people send me!

trying to see things without my glasses

kracie - popin' cookin' mystery flavor diy sushi

shocking amazingphil footage!

cat café!!

z-day!

pranking dan with chilli gummy bears

––

dan’s channels

amazingdan

giving the people what they want

how to get out of bed

the story of my hamster

sexy internet dating

sexy internet dating - london

dan’s diss track - roast yourself challenge

how to get out of bed

drama llama

innuendo bingo

personal space

how to speak internet

ironic appreciation

the photo booth challenge

psycho thoughts

how to ruin a meme

i talk to myself

the time i got sunstroke

dan and tyler being offensive

who’s more likely to - dan or phil?

dan and phil blindfolded makeup challenge

i mumble

how to speak lad - with dan and connor!

halloween baking - pumpkin spice pumpkin cookies

halloween baking - monster pops!

halloween baking - creepy crispy cakes conjoined challenge!

my bahamas travel disaster

the top dan memes of 2017

pinof 9 bloops

pinof 10 bloops

––

danandphilgames

dan and phil play can your pet?

the final google feud

dan vs. phil - the final battle

dan and phil play bucket of doom!

dan and phil play anime bucket of doom!

the quick draw marshmallow showdown

portal co-op blindfolded

‘stormy ascent’ - the hardest crash bandicoot level ever

it’s all ogre for dan and phil - swamp simulator!

morphing youtubers

morphing our faces (disturbing content)

dan and phil play minecraft

dan and phil play cards against humanity!

the literal embodiment of rage - dan and phil play: getting over it!

dan lost his voice so we’re playing charades

🌈🌈🌈taste our rainbows🌈🌈🌈

how not to drive with dan and phil!

weird things humans search for

what if dan and phil were gods?

who should we date? dan and phil play heart♡throb!

danisnotfireboy and amazingwatergirl!

no more ladydoor - dan and phil play: fireboy and watergirl #2!

a festive female-exit! dan and phil play: fireboy and watergirl #3!

what team? - dan and phil play pokemon go! #2

dan and phil play five nights at freddy’s 3

licking nintendo switch game cartridges

1-2-switch - dan vs. phil!

making a phandwich - dan and phil play: overcooked #2!

is this the end? dan and phil play the impossible quiz! #6

save med daddy! - dan and phil play: who's your daddy

14 year old phil’s game! - dan and phil play: the mark of oxin!

the best game ever made - dan and phil play: the mark of oxin #2 (end)

howell and lester’s kitchen nightmares - overcooked!

danandphilgames bloopers!

the jumpscare showdown - dan vs. phil: hide and shriek

not my arms challenge - mario kart!

the chopstick challenge!

dan vs. phil - extreme tetris!

dan (scared of spiders) explores a cave (literally full of spiders) - skyrim vr!

dab and evan ‘mess around’ - dan and phil play: sims 4 #54

spicy marshmallow roulette - food fantasy!

#dan and phil #mel talks #for sad days #honestly i could've linked all of dapg bc like all videos make me smile so so much #even the gaming series i don't really like sdkhjsjgl #i tried to organise the list chronologically or smth but after a while i got very lost so it's a mess (just like me) #i hope all links are ok but if they're not pls let me know #i've probably missed some good ones but it got so long.. i had to stop #'the other day' was me like 2 months ago btw i just never posted this bc i thought i'd be annoying :) #and seeing how long it is. gosh yeah i am annoying skjdhjhjgl #but hey at least there's a lot to pick from!

[breaniebree]

ASC Playlist

This is for tim2604 on ff.net who requested a list of my playlist from my story A Second Chance.  Some of them are individual songs that are also mentioned on the album, but they are all listed here as being mentioned whether by song title, lyrics, or album name.  The ones at the bottom are still to come at a Halloween party ;)

Here it is!

It’s Only Rock n’ Roll But I like It - The Rolling Stones

All You Need is Love - The Beatles

Stand - Rascal Flatts

Free Bird - Lynyrd Skynyrd 

A Night at the Opera (album) - Queen

Death on Two Legs (Dedicated To …) 

Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon 

I’m in Love With my Car 

You’re My Best Friend 

39 

Sweet Lady 

Seaside Rendevous 

The Prophet’s Song 

Love of My Life 

Good Company 

Bohemian Rhapsody 

God Save the Queen 

Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper

I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor

Respect - Aretha Franklin

Blackbird - The Beatles

PS I Love You - The Beatles

The White Album (album) - The Beatles

Back in the USSR 

Dear Prudence 

Glass Onion 

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da 

Wild Honey Pie 

The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill 

While My Guitar Gently Weeps 

Happiness is a Warm Gun 

Martha My Dear 

I’m So Tired 

Blackbird 

Piggies 

Rocky Raccoon 

Don’t Pass Me By 

Why Don’t We Do it in the Road? 

I Will 

Julia 

Birthday 

Yer Blues 

Mother Nature’s Son 

Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey

Sexy Sadie 

Helter Skelter 

Long, Long, Long 

Revolution 1 

Honey Pie 

Savoy Truffle 

Cry Baby Cry 

Revolution 9 

Good Night 

Rubber Soul (album) - Beatles

Drive My Car 

Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown) 

You Won’t See Me 

Nowhere Man 

Think For Yourself 

The Word 

Michelle 

What Goes On 

Girl 

I’m Looking Through You 

In My Life 

Wait If I Needed Someone 

Run For Your Life 

The Game (album) - Queen

Play the Game 

Dragon Attack 

Another One Bites the Dust 

Need Your Loving Tonight 

Crazy Little Thing Called Love 

Rock it (Primo Jive) 

Don’t Try Suicide 

Sail Away Sweet Sister 

Coming Soon Save Me 

Birthday - The Beatles

Led Zeppelin III (album) - Led Zeppelin

Immigrant Song 

Friends 

Celebration Day 

Since I’ve Been Loving You 

Out on the Tiles 

Gallows Pole 

Tangerine 

That’s the Way 

Bron-Y-Aur Stomp 

Hats Off to (Roy) Harper 

You Like Me Too Much - The Beatles

In My Life - The Beatles

G N’ R Lies (album) - Guns N’ Roses

Reckless Life 

Nice Boys 

Move to the City 

Mama Kin 

Patience 

Used to Love Her 

You’re Crazy 

One in a Million 

Don’t Bother Me - The Beatles

I Saw Her Standing There - The Beatles

I’ll Cry Instead - The Beatles

I’ve Just Seen A Face - The Beatles

I’m A Loser - The Beatles

I Am the Walrus - The Beatles

Act Naturally - The Beatles

Hold Me Tight - The Beatles

Carry That Weight - The Beatles

With A Little Help From My Friends - The Beatles

Across the Universe - The Beatles

While My Guitar Gently Weeps - The Beatles

Something - The Beatles

Eight Days A Week - The Beatles

Can’t Buy Me Love - The Beatles

Because - The Beatles

Let It Be - The Beatles

Strawberry Fields Forever - The Beatles

Dream On - Aerosmith

Innuendo (album) - Queen

Innuendo 

I’m Going Slightly Mad 

Headlong 

I Can’t Live With You 

Don’t Try So Hard

Ride the Wild Wind 

All God’s People 

These Are the Days of Our Lives 

Delilah 

The Hitman 

Bijou 

The Show Must Go On 

Presto (album) - Rush

Show Don’t Tell 

Chain Lightning 

The Pass 

War Paint 

Scars 

Presto 

Superconductor 

Anagram (For Mongo) 

Red Tide 

Hand Over Fist 

Available Light 

Working Man - Rush

Blow Up Your Video (album) - ACDC

Heatseeker 

That’s The Way 

I Wanna Rock N’ Roll 

Mean Streak 

Go Zone 

Kissin’ Dynamite 

Nick of Time 

Some Sin for Nuthin’ 

Ruff Stuff 

Two’s Up 

This Means War 

Bleach (album) - Nirvana

Blew 

Floyd the Barber 

About a Girl 

School 

Love Buzz 

Paper Cuts 

Negative Creep 

Scoff 

Swap Meet 

Mr Mustache 

Sifting 

Big Cheese 

Downer 

New Jersey (album) - Bon Jovi

Lay Your Hands On Me 

Bad Medicine 

Born To Be My Baby 

Living in Sin 

Blood on Blood 

Homebound Train 

Wild is the Wind 

Ride Cowboy Ride 

Stick to Your Guns

I’ll Be There For You 

99 in the Shade 

Love for Sale 

Like A Prayer (album) - Madonna

Like A Prayer 

Express Yourself 

Love Song 

Till Death Do Us Part 

Promise to Try Cherish 

Dear Jessie 

Oh Father 

Keep It Together 

Pray for Spanish Eyes 

Act of Contrition 

Wide Awake in Dreamland (album) - Pat Benatar

All Fired Up 

One Love (Song of the Lion) 

Let’s Stay Together 

Don’t Walk Away 

Too Long A Soldier 

Cool Zero 

Cerebral Man 

Lift ‘Em On Up 

Suffer the Little Children 

Wide Awake in Dreamland 

Whiplash Smile (album) - Billy Idol

Worlds Forgotten Boy 

To Be a Lover 

Soul Standing By 

Sweet Sexteen 

Men for All Seasons 

Don’t Need a Gun 

Beyond Belief 

Fatal Charm 

All Summer Single 

One Night, One Chance 

Dark Side of the Moon (album) - Pink Floyd

Speak to Me 

Breathe (In the Air) 

On the Run 

Time 

The Great Gig in the Sky 

Money 

Us and Them 

Any Colour You Like 

Brain Damage 

Eclipse 

I Will - The Beatles

We Will Rock You - Queen

Toto IV (album) - Toto

Rosanna 

Make Believe 

I Won’t Hold Back 

Good for You 

It’s a Feeling 

Afraid of Love 

Lovers in the Night 

We Made it 

Waiting for Your Love 

Africa 

Back in Black (album) - ACDCHells Bells

Shoot to Thrill 

What Do You Do for the Money Honey 

Givin’ the Dog a Bone 

Let Me Put My Love Into You 

Back in Black 

You Shook Me All Night Long 

Have a Drink On Me 

Shake a Leg 

Rock and Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution 

London Calling (album) - The Clash

London Calling 

Brand New Cadillac 

Jimmy Jazz 

Hateful 

Rudie Can’t Fail 

Spanish Bombs 

The Right Profile 

Lost in the Supermarket 

Clampdown 

The Guns of Brixton 

Wrong ‘Em Boyo 

Death or Glory 

Koka Kola 

The Card Cheat 

Lover’s Rock 

Four Horseman 

I’m Not Down 

Revolution Rock 

Train in Vain 

The Boys Are Back in Town - Thin Lizzy

You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC

Cherry Pie - Warrant

Baby, I Love You - The Ramones

Insomniac (album) - Green Day

Armatage Shanks 

Brat 

Stuck with Me 

Geek Stink Breath 

No Pride 

Bab’s Uvula Who? 

86 

Panic Song 

Stuart ant the Ave. 

Brain Stew 

Jaded 

Westbound Sign 

Tight Wad Hill 

Walking Contradiction 

I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You - Elvis Presley

Octopus’ Garden - The Beatles

Who Wants to Live Forever - Queen

Blaze of Glory - Bon Jovi

Waiting for a Girl Like You - Foreigner

Night Visions - AJ McLean

Jagged Little Pill (album) - Alanis Morrisette

All I Really Want 

You Oughta Know 

Perfect 

Hand in My Pocket 

Right Through You 

Forgiven 

You Learn 

Head Over Feet 

Mary Jane 

Ironic 

Not the Doctor 

Wake Up 

These Are The Days of Our Lives - Queen

Follow You Down - Gin Blossoms

Fastlove - George Michael

A Long December - Counting Crows

It’s All Coming Back to Me Now - Celine Dion

How Bizarre - OMC

Thriller - Michael Jackson

Lovefool - The Cardigans

Un-Break My Heart - Toni Braxton

Wannabe - Spice Girls

I’ll Be There For You - The Remembrandts

Dance Like a Hippogriff - Weird Sisters

I Put A Spell On You - Annie Lennox

Open Your Heart - Madonna

The Earth, The Sun, The Rain - Color Me Badd

Everything I Do (I Do It For You) - Bryan Adams

Saturday Night - Whigfield

Mamma Mia - Abba

Waterloo - Abba

You’re My Best Friend - Queen

Ride of the Valkyries - Richard Wagner

#a second chance #breanie

[despairdiseases]

When you walk away (Nothing more to say)

chapter 9 -  Love is dead and soon you'll follow.

trigger warnings: sympathetic Remus and Deceit, misunderstandings, Pica, implications of eating glass (no actual eating), a beer bottle is thrown on a wall near someone (but no one gets hurt and it’s not an attempt to hurt someone), talk of an abusive mother, recalling of the said mother throwing Virgil onto a glass table, mentions of stitches and bleeding, swearing, talk of the black plague and plague doctors, innuendos, innuendos about losing your virginity, implications of bad parenting, underage drinking, assumptions of transphobia, talk of murder (not serious), Virgil makes an “I want to die” joke

summary: I am back on my bullshit, and it's more intense than I remember.

author’s note: aasfklsdf all the trigger warnings, my hand hurts (but ask me if you think I should add something)

Jenna didn't hesitate to speak even with her mouth full, telling the rest of the story "And then I was like "I am not!" and then Tyler was like "You kinda are", and I was like "...I kind of am," so long story short, I don't let him go to my room anymore."

Damon nodded, eyebrows raised, "Wow, I...lost track of what you were saying after like three words."

Jenna shrugged and kept eating her sandwich, "I am not surprised. Anyhow, what's with the...I forgot his name, the nerd," Jenna snapped her fingers as if that would help her remember.

Damon took a sip from the beer bottle, "You mean Logan?"

The other pointed at him, "That's the bitch!" she exclaimed loudly, "Why did you drag him here?"

Damon put his hand on his chest, face twisting to look as offended as possible, "How dare you assume I dragged him here? He was the one who followed me in the first place, I just wanted to make him as uncomfortable as possible."

"Heh," Jenna chuckled, "With Remus here, he's definitely uncomfortable," she took the bottle from Damon's hand to drink herself, after all, she was the one who brought it in the first place. She turned to look at Virgil, "You want?" Jenna offered him the bottle. Virgil shook his head, declining. Jenna nodded, "Yeah, fair enough."

"Oh my, oh my, I think Logan might snap soon," Damon smirked, looking at the other end of the bridge where Remus was pestering Logan about god knows what, Logan not looking at him even as he leans on his shoulder.

"-Okay, you follow?" Remus looked at Logan, who did not return the look. Remus smiled and continued, "Yeah, so like, what I meant to say is that plague doctors were fucking metal, you know? They were, like, seriously so fucking ahead of their time, like did you know they thought the disease was airborne so they put wet flowers, spices and shit like that in their masks? Fucking superb. Did you know I was a sexy plague doctor on Halloween once? It took like a week to make the mask-"

"Dried flowers," Logan finally spoke, making Remus stop dead in his tracks, looking at him.

"What?"

Logan looked at him, "They didn't put wet flowers in their beaks, they put dried flowers in them, but more often than not it was either herbs or, like you already said, spices."

Remus stared at him for a second, before grinning, "Cool! You a fan of the plague?"

Logan grimaced at the wording, "I am particularly interested in The Black Plague, yes, I find it oddly fascinating."

As Remus opened his mouth, a loud smash echoed right next to them. They both flinched, especially Logan. Remus picked up the broken glass next to them, clear but brown. A beer bottle. They both looked at the other group, where Jenna waved to them.

"Hey, suckers, you wanna spray something or not? We're not gonna be here the whole day," behind her, Logan noticed, was Damon with Virgil, who was holding a spray can. Damon took Virgil's hand, helping him keep the lines more steady, it was clearly the first time Virgil has done something like this. Logan felt...envious? That's nonsensical, why would he?

"Um, actually, I should go," Logan began to stand up, but before he could do anything else, he felt Remus pulling him back by his flannel.

"Why? Don't be a party-pooper," Remus snickered when Logan stumbled back, almost falling before regaining his balance.

"I, uh, I should study, not waste time with-" Logan cut himself off before he could finish.

Remus tilted his head and stood up, "Waste time with what? With a bunch of lowlives?" He leaned towards Logan. The man in question looked away, eyes widening when Remus chuckled, "It's fine, dude, I know I have no future, doesn't mean you have to be such a prude though. C'moooon, a little crime never hurt anyone."

Logan huffed, looking Remus in the eye, "It did. If you get caught, I don't want to-"

Remus snorted, "No one has come under this bridge in like, five years except teenagers and murderers. I'm sure you'll be fine, mommy and daddy won't have to bail you out of jail just yet..." Remus raised an eyebrow, a cocky smirk framing his face "...Unless?"

Logan crossed his arms, shooting his best glare at Remus, who was still smiling at him. Eventually, Logan broke his glare from Remus in defeat, instead going to the other side for the spray cans. He carefully jumped into the dried-up ditch, where a river once passed. He didn't need to get out of it, Jenna handed him a few of the cans.

They both had their separate walls, Damon and Virgil on one side of the bridge, more cracking jokes and playfighting than actually vandalizing public property. Remus and Logan were on the other side, having a rather...one sided conversation.

"No, that's not how you hold it," Remus took Logan's hand and readjusted his fingers, making Logan's hand feel less tense. His hand felt...strange when Remus took his away, "Here, now try it."

Logan pressed on the spray can, tensing up when it actually diffused. He heard Remus snicker, but rolled his eyes and paid it no mind. He dropped his hand with the can to his side, unsure of what to do now that he knew how to do it.

As if Remus could read his mind, he began talking, leaning on Logan's shoulder, "Y'know, you don't have to be all fancy like those suckers," he nodded his head towards Jenna and Damon, "You can just spray your name or whatever. Sometimes simple is good too."

Logan's throat died out, he's not sure at what point. Or why. Or why his pulse is faster than normal. Maybe he's sick. Is Remus sick? Probably, he most likely got it from him because of all this physical contact, which Logan wasn't that fond of anyway.

Fingers snapped in front of his face, "Heeey, Einstein, you with me?"

Logan slapped his hands away, "Yes, of course, I am," he looked at the can in his hand, eyebrows furrowing in thoughts. His shoulder began to hurt as Remus put more weight on it.

"What is it? Nervous about your first time?" Remus wrapped a hand around Logan's, raising it to the wall, "Afraid of losing your g-card?"

Logan clenched his other hand. Something...was wrong. It felt wrong. What? Logan questioned. Something, Logan answered. It was surely something about Remus, Logan wasn't used to spending time with him. It felt off, there was something about Remus, though he wasn't sure he was the cause...Was Logan the cause? He never felt this way, why now? It couldn't be Logan, it doesn't make sense. It's surely something about Remus, Logan will have to keep his distance.

'But what if?' Logan ended up spraying without much thought. Remus raised his eyebrow, "Weird choice, but whatever, who am I to judge?" Remus sprang off of him and went to collect the broken glass from the bottle. Logan didn't question it, it was Remus, why would he? Logan wanted to say something about putting sharp glass in your pockets not being safe but Remus spoke first.

"Oh, well," he stretched his arms above his head, "Should get home, ma's gonna be shitting her pants if I don't," he climbed the steep hill leading to the bridge, not even saying goodbye as he disappeared.

"Wow, what's his problem?" Jenna looked between the remaining three, her gaze stopping on, "Damon? You good?"

Logan turned to look at the man in question, seeing a concerned look on his face, eyebrows knit together and all. He went to turn towards Jenna but stopped himself and looked back to where Remus once stood, "Uh, yeah, I, um...I think I'll..."

"Just go after him already!"

Damon didn't waste any time, running after Remus the fastest he could. The remaining two turned their heads back at Jenna when she laughed, "Lovesick puppy..."

Logan tilted his head, "Pardon?"

Jenna returned the gesture, "You're acting like you can't see it. Like, c'mon, everyone knows those two are in love except for those two."

Logan nodded his head, "Oh."

Damon finally caught up to the other, "I fucking dare you."

Remus stopped and turned around, a dumbfounded look meeting with Damon's half concerned half angry one, "Dare me? Fucking? I sure hope so," he soon replaced it with a flirtatious smirk.

Damon rolled his eyes, "You know what I'm talking about, empty your fucking pockets."

Remus averted his eyes like he was thinking it over, then shook his head, "Sorry, comrade, I really have absolutely no idea what you're talking about," he turned around and began walking, "Care to elaborate, dearest?"

The other was soon at his side, mentally going over the list of alternatives to...He doesn't remember when he made it, it just piled up into a list after a while of helping Remus with his problems.

Remus threw a hand around his shoulders and pulled him closer, "What's the problem? Swallowed your tongue?"

"What's the problem?" Damon mimicked, "Swallowed some glass?"

Remus' smile fell. He rolled his eyes, "Y'know, you could've just ignored the fact that I have pica and not say anything."

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?" he reached into the other's pocket and threw the glass away, at which Remus turned his head.

"Hey! My afternoon snacks!" he pouted at Damon.

He raised his eyebrows, "You can at least pretend you take this seriously."

Remus snorted, "You say that like I take anything seriously."

"Oh, shut up," Damon rolled his eyes.

"Make me."

It was such a Remus action to do, maybe Damon sent too much time with him...Impossible. Damon didn't know why he did it, he shouldn't've done that. He did. Did Remus close his eyes during? He probably stared at him like he does now. Demon took a step back.

"I, I didn't..."

Remus opened his mouth to say something. Nothing came out.

Damon could feel tears pricking at his eyes, "I d...." the words got stuck in his throat.

Remus took a step back, stumbling on the pavement, unable to regain balance as he fell down and covered his mouth with a fist. Damon got the message. So he did what Remus tried to do just now. He ran away. He didn't know where to, not that it mattered anyway. Damon didn't know what to do, he couldn't lie to himself anymore, at least not about this. He felt something cold trickle down his cheeks, not that Damon cared. Not when he just destroyed the most precious thing in the world. How ridiculous, to assume that just because Remus is so clingy and borderline flirting with Damon everyone, that he would...How pathetic of him.

Remus ignored the burning of his scraped hands. He fucked up. Why didn't he just kiss him back like a normal person would?! He made- he made Damon feel horrible. He made Damon cry. How could he do that? He would never do that, would he? Apparently, he would, that's horrible. Remus is a horrible person. How could he make someone like Damon cry?

Jenna looked to the side, staring at the tiny droplets of rain falling down. She raised her eyebrows and turned to the two boys she was talking with for so long now...how long was it again? It couldn't be that long, "You guys wanna stay here until it passes or should we just go?

Virgil checked his phone. No messages, okay, seems like Emile's fine. It's not that late anyways, so almost nothing to worry about. There was always something to worry about. Virgil couldn't shake the bad feeling of "Something bad just happened!" in the back of his head, but what's new. He should answer the question.

Logan answered first, "I wouldn't want to get soaked in the rain on top of all things, I suggest we stay here until it passes. Virgil?"

Virgil nodded. Really, Emile would be more concerned if Virgil got soaked in the rain and got sick, and Virgil doesn't need that kind of babying. He never did, why should he now? He refocused at Jenna, mainly because of her hand reaching into the bag that Virgil presumed was her's.

She pulled out another bottle, "You guys ever played never have I ever?"

Virgil raised his eyebrows. Logan put the bottle aside, "No, and I don't plan to."

Jenna rolled her eyes, "You guys are no fun. Alright, how about the boring version?"

Logan raised an eyebrow, "Boring version?"

She raised her hand, fingers apart, "If you did the thing, you put a finger down. The one who has all fingers down loses, the one with the most fingers chooses a punishment," she tilted her head, a subtle smirk on her face, "You in or are you too much of a pussy?"

"Who says I'm the only one who's opposed? If my vision isn't deceiving me, there are three people."

"Yeah, but violent violet here doesn't seem like a pussy to me," Jenna nodded towards Virgil.

Logan straightened his back, "Fine," he put his hand up, "How do you play this again?"

Virgil gave up and put his left hand in the air.

"I'll start," Jenna said, "Never have I ever...got stitches."

Virgil and Logan put a finger down.

"What for?"

"When I was five, I fell on a sidewalk while running, had to get my chin stitched up," Logan touched his chin at the slight phantom pain. Jenna turned her head in Virgil's direction.

Virgil hesitated for a moment, then began signing, 'My mom threw me on a glass table, my leg was bleeding like crazy.'

Logan opened his mouth to translate but as the words registered, he found he couldn't speak. Jenna patted his shoulder, "Hey, glasses, I don't speak gang signs."

"Ah, y-yes, I apologize," his gaze didn't leave Virgils, "He...cut his leg on a broken glass table."

Jenna hissed, "Damn, son, must've hurt," she and Virgil looked at Logan, "Well?"

"Never have I ever...drank alcohol."

Jenna and Virgil put a finger down, "Weak move, targeting me."

It was Virgil's turn. He thought about it, 'Never have I ever had good parents,' he joked. Logan interpreted. No one put a finger down. Everyone was silent, eyes were avoided. After a while of silence, Jenna spoke.

"Never have I ever kissed someone of the opposite gender," she frowned when no one put a finger down, "Never have I ever kissed someone?"

"That's against the rules," Logan pointed out.

"There are no gods watching us, no rules apply throughout anarchy," Jenna said in reply. Logan didn't dare to say anything back.

Virgil put his finger down. No one really noticed.

Logan's turn, "Never have I ever had a one night stand."

Jenna laughed mockingly, "Ha, the joke's on you, discount Bill Nye, no one wants to sleep with me."

Virgil's turn, 'Never have I ever used she/her pronouns,' he gave Jenna a passive-aggressive smile. She rolled her eyes and put a finger down. Logan stiffened. He looked between the two, then slowly put his finger down.

Jenna sighed, "My turn. So, never have I ever cheated on a test."

Logan was...confused, to be precise. They noticed, Logan knew they did. Doesn't matter, he didn't want to make matters worse by pointing it out, better to just go along.

No one put their finger down. Logan's turn. Maybe if he just...it's risky, but, "Never have I ever been to a pride parade."

Jenna groaned and put a finger down, "Your turn, emo."

'Never have I ever smoked a blunt,' Virgil ran out of ideas.

Jenna slammed her other hands on the ground in a fist, "Are you fucking kidding me?!" she reluctantly put a finger down, only her middle finger being upright. She looked like she might as well murder Virgil on the spot. Virgil looked smugger than he should.

Jenna's eyelid twitched, "Never have I ever been mute."

Virgil looked like he was on cloud 9, grinning from ear to ear. Logan never saw him this happy, it was...fascinating, he almost couldn't tear his eyes off of him.

"So what, you're telling me you're not mute?"

Virgil looked at Logan. Logan began explaining, "He has a condition that prevents him from talking, but theoretically, he could talk."

And Jenna looked fucking vivid. She nodded slowly, "Alright, fine, okay," that didn't ease any of Logan's worries of her killing his friend.

Logan couldn't suppress a tiny smile of his own, "Never have I ever-" Jenna glared at him, "...bought something online."

"Ha! Too bad, bitch! I am too poor to buy stuff!" Jenna pointed at Logan. She got up, "You know what? I don't wanna play anymore. Fuck this, fuck you, I am going for some hypothermia, you guys want anything?"

"Normal friends."

'To die.'

Jenna looked between them, "Yeah, I only have like 5 dollars on me, so..." she shrugged.

#long post #when you walk away (nothing more to say) #analodemus #dukeceit #demus #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #virgil sanders #logan sanders

[kae-karo]

Okay but can you do an analysis of the heart throb video?? bc WE all need that

oh hello dear u bet ur ass i can i mean jfc how could i not what is this nonsense i’m shooketh to my core

thank u dearest anons for expressing literally all the moods on this one lmao let’s go

throbbers dan u are well aware what that sounds like

see the cute thing is i think they went into the vid with the intent of it being like lmao fun cute wholesome which is sweet but like this is dapg they should know better

‘phil’s got his guns out’ nobody asked dan???? i mean we love em just as much as u tho

any time dan says ‘this is gonna be a whole thing’ u know it gon b gay

we stan air quotes around ‘for girls’

‘a whole big box of yikes right here’ did u mean: dnpgames

dan always looks immensely soft in that jumper??

hi excuse me where’s phil’s heartthrob card bc like damn

sned hlep

dan adds ‘apparently’ to stuff when he’s like actually genuinely unsure/uncomfy/feeling awkward this has been a psa

‘choose your favorite on looks alone’ i mean same phil

“‘fast food freak’ that person might have my heart” / “i’m a fast food freak” i mean honestly ‘you and dan are so married’/’it’s a useful thing’ is quaking, i would bang voldemort whomst? idk her

phil absolutely roasting dan, fast food freak and has to be the center of attention i mean we been knew but phil out here exposing him

they both like,,,,,,,enjoy looking at buff lads but wouldn’t actually be like Genuinely into them ofc bc they’re both fuckin noodles and they love each other

‘toot toot hello’ dan,,,,,stop

look boys i know y’all only have eyes for each other but like u don’t have to come up with stories/reasons why every single guy is actually creepy or terrifying

hi i now demand dan posing as bobby and phil posing as richard, complete with the tank top for dan and the glasses/sweater combo for phil

it’s always about the kinks isn’t it

the fuckin yodeling pickle why why is that a reference

dan’s idea of school dancing being grinding and phil’s just straight up like

dan’s ‘oh phil’ catch me fucking sobbing why is he so soft for his man

dan having like a paragraph-long explanation for why he thinks phil chose the person he chose, where phil’s just like ‘lmao p sure u picked this one eh’

OH MY GOD NO EXCUSE ME PHIL U MADE THIS DECISION BC U THINK DAN’S A THIRSTY HOE WHO WOULD FULLY JUDGE ON LOOKS AND PICK THE SEXIEST-LOOKING PERSON

‘the night leads somewhere a nice pg peck on the cheek’ mhm yeah okay lads we all know what ur idea of ‘a night together’ ends with so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

someone save me why do they have to look This Good

granny is not a reference i wanted or needed thanks bye

i love that they both thought it was cute that richard was a tuba player

and then ofc they went the whole ‘it’s sexual’ route what is wrong with them guys guys guys ik this might come as a shock but not everything is sexual okay

(hi dear anon! basically there’s a whole stigma abt band camp being like where all the teens hook up n stuff just a weird culture thing)

dan sees phil in richard and that’s why he keeps trying to defend all the cute lil awkward things and u cannot convince me otherwise

like if they did another round with ‘who would u like want to marry’ dan would pick richard them’s just the facts

phil’s ‘i’m not messing around/lying/fucking with u (but i actually am lmao)’ face

dan guessing all of phil’s right is a mood i mean that boy has to keep up his phil trash status

dan’s doing that ‘top or bottom, phil’ face to the camera bc it says girlfriend and he’s trying to Make A Point by staring

stop they’re so cute look i can’t

‘that is a game changer’ dan had richard pegged as his endgame but now he’s got a Project to work on with bobby, u bet ur ass he didn’t go into his current relationship feeling like Super Confident and maybe felt like phil looked at him as a project or someone to fix n he never experienced that n so is that his way of projecting or smth idk but i think it’s Very Interesting

‘he’s just a lil jaffa cake’ phil ily but ur metaphors man ur metaphors need some work

twins

the final piece of the richard puzzle: “bumps into walls and trips over his own feet” dan: *internal screaming* oh my god it’s phil

this literally became ‘who do u want, the rich boy with a soft, sensitive side, the awkward but endearing nerd, or the unsettlingly strange guy who’s called ‘the lemon’’ and idk how i feel abt it

i do love that phil knew dan was moved by the ‘never been kissed’ thing

and then dan had to go on a full minute-long explanation for his actual reasoning bc nothing is ever simple with him and i love him but he a complex boye and everything he does he either puts a massive amt of thought into or literally none at all he has no concept of moderation

phil straight up attacking dan ‘u like fancy things boy u ain’t slick i know u’

also phil relating furries to nudism as if they’re at all related i mean same dan same

(his actual reasoning was dan doesn’t like wearing clothes around the flat and that’s the tea)

‘u like his look’ ‘no i mean okay yes but that’s not the point okay’

i also feel like dan’s looking at this from the perspective of,,,,,an adult pretending to be a teen and applying what he knows now as an adult and like his life growth to his decisions even though he’s pretending he’s a teen,,,,,

also boi u literally got with ur husband at eighteen don’t pretend that meant u were an adult u were still So Young

bless phil for sounding offended at the idea of dan wanting to date someone as a project

hi dan ur fond is showing

‘you are not editing that out’ yes drag ur husband on camera i’m here for it

this felt important

bless them both for discussing the lack of diversity in the game & calling out the gender role issues, it’s always good to hear that

i’m sorry it’s ‘almost as sexual’ lads did y’all even watch the gwf vid???? i’m hard-pressed to come up with a more blatantly sexual vid y’all have ever made (and i don’t mean like higher on the fuck energy scale that’s another story i just mean like full of intentional innuendos) 

honestly sometimes they Do Things and i’m like lmao they think they’re self aware they ain’t tho they know Nothing but like. sometimes

#dnp #dan and phil #dapg #phan #danandphilgames #heartthrob #vid analysis #anon #vodka-tante #ask #kt