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thomaslightwood · 3 years

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The Sanctuary || Thomastair (from Alastair's POV)

From chapter 19 & 21 from COI!

This was weird to do and even tho I had the dialogue it wasn't as easy to write as I expected. I tried to make this how I imagine Alastair's thought process and it hit a little too close to home so tried my best to do this scene justice. I hope you like it!

•

Alastair barely moved since the door had closed and locked behind the Consul for the last time.

It has been hours. Alastair was rereading pages of The Prince over and over again, without actually understanding most of them. He randomly turned on pages from time to time, at least to look like he was reading.

Even without looking at Thomas, he was aware where he was in the Sanctuary. Alastair wondered what Thomas thought of him now. After founding out Alastair literally had been stalking him for weeks. Or maybe he was worrying about the fact he was accused for murder.

At some point, Thomas walked to the door and shook it, like he was hoping even for the slightest chance that the lock and wards had failed.

“A little menacing that the Sanctuary bolts shut from the outside, isn’t it? I never thought about it much before,” Alastair said, his voice was the first loud thing in hours.

Thomas turned around to look at him. There was something desperate in his face.

“I, er, suppose one might have to keep an unexpectedly dangerous Downworlder out, or something,” Thomas said awkwardly. Alastair looked away.

“Maybe,” he shrugged. “On the other hand, it does give the Institute a makeshift prison.”

It was a little creepy when he thought about it. A Sanctuary was supposed to be a sacred place. A place that provides safety and protection. Alastair had never thought he would be held as a prisoner here. And definitely not with Thomas Lightwood.

Thomas wandered a little closer to him. Alastair didn't look away from his book. With the corner of his eye he could see Thomas' messy hair, clothes stained with blood and dirt. His tattoo was bright on his arm.

“Why have you been following me around?” Thomas demanded.

Alastair’s breath hitched. He didn't expect Thomas to speak to him. “Someone had to,” he said, still staring at his book.

“What on earth does that mean?” Thomas said.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to, Lightwood,” Alastair said sharply. He didn't want to have a fight with him, not now. Not ever.

Thomas sat down with a thump on Alastair’s mattress. Alastair blinked at him in surprise.

“I do want the answer,” Thomas said. “And I will not get up until you tell it to me.”

Alastair slowly set his book aside. He could see Thomas' neck, the edge of his white shirt and if he moved his gaze further below there was the promise of his chest, hidden underneath the cloth. Alastair thought about their time in Paris, in the cafe. Thomas' warm skin under his fingers. And many months later, in London, his skin was warm as he remembered it, but marked with the rose compass tattoo.

“I knew you were taking extra patrols,” Alastair said, still thinking about Thomas' tattoo. “And more than that - going out by yourself with a murderer on the loose. You were going to get yourself killed. You’re meant to take someone with you.”

It sounded logical, didn't it? Alastair hoped so because if not Thomas would reveal that Alastair followed him because he wasn't just worried Tom would get himself killed - he wanted to be close to him, to take care of him, to do something for him, even if Thomas wasn't aware of it.

“No, thank you,” Thomas said. “All these people going out in pairs, announcing themselves every time they speak, unable to make a move without consulting each other - they might as well ring a bell to let the killer know they’re coming. And meanwhile, if you’re not on the schedule, you’re supposed to just sit around on your arse doing nothing. We’ll never catch the murderer if we avoid being out on the streets. That’s where the murderer is.”

Well, this sounded logical too, Alastair thought. Stubborn and reckless but logical.

Alastair was a little amused. “Never before have I heard such a concise statement of the ludicrous philosophy with which you and your school friends go through the world, running toward danger,” he said, stretching. “But that’s not why you were doing what you were doing,” Alastair added. “There’s a little truth to what you just said, but not the heart of it.”

“What do you mean?”

“You couldn’t save your sister. So you want to save other people. You want revenge, even if this isn’t the same evil that took Barbara - it’s still evil, isn’t it?” Alastair knew what he said may sound rude and was definitely not his business. But he was also determined to speak the truth. No matter how ugly, no matter how painful. The truth must be faced. “You want to behave recklessly, and you don’t want your reckless behavior to compromise a patrol partner’s safety. So you went alone.”

Thomas' face told him he was right.

“Well, I don’t believe you really think that we’re stupid,” Thomas said, “or that we willingly court danger for danger’s sake. If you believed that, you would do more to stop Cordelia spending time with us.”

Alastair scoffed. Like he could stop Cordelia from anything.

“My point,” Thomas went on, an edge to his voice, “is that I don’t think you believe the rude things you say. And I don’t understand why you say them. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s as if you want to drive everyone away.” He paused. “Why were you so awful to us in school? We never did anything to you.”

Alastair winced. For a long moment he was silent. What he could tell? What he could tell to make Thomas believe he's not terrible? Maybe he couldn't. Maybe this wasn't possible. He could only tell Thomas the truth and let him decide.

“I was awful to you …,” he said at last, “because I could be.”

“Anyone can be a bastard if they want to be,” said Thomas. “You had no reason to do it. Your family are friends with the Herondales. You could at least have been kinder to James.”

This wasn't untrue, mostly. But there was so much more than this.

“When I got to school,” said Alastair slowly, the effort costing him, “loose talk about my father had preceded me. Everyone knew he was a failure, and some of the older students decided I was an easy target. They … let’s just say that by the end of the first week, I had been made to understand my place in the hierarchy, and I had the bruises to remind me should I ever forget.”

Those were painful memories. The jokes, the vicious words and the other kids' fists. Back then he thought he would never allow someone to treat him like that again, even if this meant he would become a monster himself.

“After about a year of being knocked around,” Alastair went on, “I realized I could either become one of the bullies, or suffer for the rest of my school days. I felt no loyalty to my father, no need to defend him, so that was never a problem. I wasn’t very big - well, you know what that’s like.”

He eyed Thomas for a moment. Looking self-conscious, Thomas shrank back a bit. Physically he had grown so much, his muscles were visible through the shirt.

“What I did have,” said Alastair, “was a savage tongue and a quick wit. Augustus Pounceby and the others would collapse laughing when I cut some poor younger student down to size. I never got my hands bloody, never hit anyone, but it didn’t matter, did it? Soon enough the bully boys forgot they’d ever hated me. I was one of them.”

“And how did that turn out for you?” Thomas said in a hard voice.

Alastair looked at him matter-of-factly. “Well, one of us has a close-knit group of friends, and the other one has no friends at all. So you tell me.”

“You have friends,” Thomas said. Alastair snorted at this. He didn't. Not really.

“Then you arrived, a bunch of boys from famous families, too well brought up to understand at first what went on far from home. Expecting the world would embrace you. That you would be treated well. As I never had been.” Alastair pushed back a lock of hair. His hands were shaking. He was so bitter then, so full of anger at the injustice of the world. He took a breath, hoping Thomas didn't notice. “I suppose I hated you because you were happy. Because you had each other - friends you could like and admire - and I had nothing like that. You had parents who loved each other. But none of that excuses the way I behaved. And I do not expect to be forgiven.”

It hurted Alastair to say it, to think about it. But he really didn't think the Merry Thieves would forgive him - he wasn't surprised. If he was at their place he probably wouldn't forgive himself too.

“I’ve been trying to hate you,” Thomas said quietly, “for what you did to Matthew. You richly deserve to be hated for what you have done.”

Alastair looked Thomas in the face. “It wasn’t just his mother I slandered. It was your parents, too. You know it. So you don’t have to—to act all high-minded about this. Stop pretending you are only upset on behalf of Matthew. Hate me on your own behalf, Thomas.”

Part of him wanted this. One small, self-destructive part wanted Thomas to hate him. To tell him so. To lash out his anger at Alastair, so he could feel his pain in his bones, to remember it and to carry it with himself like he carried his own.

“No,” Thomas said firmly. He looked so sure, like this wasn't even an option. Like it was the law of nature, something that cannot.

Alastair didn't know how to react. Tension was freezing his body and mind and he could just blink at him.

“The reason I cannot hate you is because—because of those days we spent in Paris together,” he said. Alastair stomach flipped. “You were kind to me when I was very alone, and I am grateful. It was the first time I realized you could be kind.”

Alastair stared at him. The little light they had was doing strange things to Thomas' appearance. His hair looked lighter but his face was in shadow, making his eyes seem darker and deeper than usual. “It is my favorite memory of Paris as well.” Was Alastair saying this? Was this really his voice?

“You don’t have to say that. I know you were there with Charles.”

Alastair stiffened. He looked away. “Charles Fairchild? What about him?”

“Wouldn’t that be your best memory of Paris?” Thomas raised an eyebrow.

Alastair’s jaw was rigid. “Exactly what are you suggesting?”

He didn't want to do anything with Charles anymore. He wanted to move on. But it wasn't his business to reveal Charles' secrets. Alastair wouldn't do this to him.

“I’m not suggesting anything. I’ve seen the way you look at Charles, the way he looks at you. I’m not an idiot, Alastair, and I’m asking …” Thomas shook his head, sighing. His face was different than the past few months. The way he looked at Alastair… like he was searching for something. There was a deep ache in his eyes. “I suppose I’m asking if you’re like me.”

•

“Thomas Lightwood,” said Alastair. “I am nothing like you.”

If there was something in the whole world he was sure about, it was this.

He saw how Thomas' eyes widened. A pained expression on his face. Terror and humiliation were creeping in his eyes.

“I am nothing like you, Thomas,” Alastair continued, “because you are one of the better people I have ever known. You have a kind nature and a heart like some knight out of legend. Brave and proud and true and strong. All of it.” He smiled bitterly. He meant every word. “And all the time you have known me, I have been a terrible person. So, you see. We are nothing at all alike.”

Thomas’s gaze snapped up.

“I’m not—” Thomas breathed. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know what you meant.” The words hung between them, neither daring to move a muscle. After a moment Alastair added in a gentler voice, “How did you know about Charles?”

“You wouldn’t tell me what you were doing in Paris,” said Thomas. “But you mentioned Charles, over and over again, like you got pleasure out of just saying his name. And when you came to London this summer, I saw the way you looked at him. I know what it is to have to hide the—the signs of affection.”

“Then I imagine you may have noticed I don’t look at Charles that way anymore,” Alastair said and couldn't not think what a lovesick fool he was.

“I suppose I did,” Thomas said, “though for the past four months, I’ve been trying not to look at you. I told myself I hated you. But I could never really make myself. When Elias died, all I could think about was you. What you must be feeling.”

Alastair winced. “I insulted your father and blackened his name. You were under no obligation to care about mine.”

Elias was something Alastair carefully avoided to think about. The unsaid words, the anger and all the disgust, resentment and undescribable loss of his father in so many ways was too much to bear.

“I know, but sometimes I think that it is much harder to lose someone who we are on bad terms with than it is to lose someone with whom all is well,” Thomas said kindly.

Tears filled Alastair's eyes.

“Bloody hell, Thomas. You should hate me, not be thinking about what I must be feeling—” Alastair swiped at his eyes. Raziel, his kindness. It was good he didn't deserve, a blessing so precious it made him want to cry. Why couldn't Thomas just hate him? Why couldn't he be like Matthew Fairchild and hate him? It would be deserved. It would be easier. “And the worst of it is, you’re right, of course. You always understood other people so well. I think I partly hated you for it, for being so kind. I thought, ‘He must have so much, to be able to be so generous.’ And I thought that I had nothing. It never occurred to me that you had secrets too.”

“You were always my secret,” said Thomas softly, and Alastair turned a surprised gaze at him. His face was so open, so vulnerable. It was so different, they both were, since the first time they met but… at the same time so soft, so kind like it was at the Academy, at Paris and now, at the Sanctuary again.

“Does no one know?” said Alastair. “That you—like men? How long have you known?”

“Since after I came to school, I think,” Thomas said in a low voice. “I knew what caught my eye, quickened my pulse, and it was never a girl.”

“And you never told anyone?”

Thomas hesitated. “I could have told my friends that I liked men. They would have understood. But I couldn’t have told them how I felt about you.”

“So you did feel something for me. I thought-” Alastair looked away, shaking his head. “I didn’t see you—you were this boy, following me around at school, and then I met you in Paris and you’d grown up and turned into Michelangelo’s David. I thought you were beautiful. But I was still caught up with Charles—” He broke off. “Just another thing I’ve wasted. Your regard for me. I wasted my time and my affection on Charles. I wasted my chance with you.”

It would definitely be easier if Thomas hated him, Alastair thought with bitterness. But now, knowing he wasted his time with a man who would choose his career over Alastair every time when he could be with Thomas—it was too much. Another tragedy in his life, another wasted opportunity….

“Maybe not,” Thomas said. He sounded dizzy. “About me, I mean.”

Alastair blinked. “Speak sense, Lightwood,” he said testily. His words couldn't reach Alastair's brain. “What do you mean?”

“I mean this,” said Thomas, and leaned towards Alastair.

It was a quick kiss. Unsure and shocking and so, so sweet.

Thomas drew back hesitantly. It was obvious he didn't know if this was alright, if he wasn't crossing a line. Alastair caught hold of Thomas’s shirtfront in a firm grip. He slid onto his knees so that they faced each other; with Thomas sitting back on his heels, their heads were at the same level.

“Thomas—” Alastair began. His voice was rough, unsteady. He had a hard time getting a grip on himself. Abruptly, Alastair let go of Thomas’s shirt, started to turn his face away.

“Just imagine,” Thomas said. “What if we’d never gone to the Academy together? What if none of those things had happened, and Paris was the first time we’d met? And this was the second?”

Alastair said nothing. It was an impossible scenario. Just a comfort fantasy for the cold, sad nights that ended up hurting you more than healing you.

He smiled weakly. “Damn you, Thomas,” he said, and there was resignation, yes. Because he was so done pretending, so done hiding what he was feeling towards this amazing man. He wanted to feel every dark, forbidden and sweet thing there was with Thomas.

A moment later he was pulling Thomas toward him. Their bodies collided, awkward and thrilling. Alastair knew he was probably the more experienced of the two but he was barely aware what he was doing.

He had never imagined he would be able to do all this. To touch Thomas' chest, his shoulders and back, his tattoo and Adam's apple. He had never imagined Thomas would tenderly kiss the arch of his throat and smile against Alastair's skin. He had never imagined he would be so happy while waiting to be proved innocent for a crime. But while he was kissing Thomas Lightwood, he thought it was worth it.

#thomastair #alastair carstiars #thomas lighwood #tlh #tsc #coi #the last hours #the shadowhunter chronicles #chain of iron #coi spoilers #chain of iron spoilers #cassandra clare #tsc fanfiction #tsccreatenet #sav's writing #my post

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imagines-r-s · 3 years

Text

sticking it

chapter 9

a/n: idk why this chapter took so long, but here it is. for reference - in gymnastics, US Championships are the last meet before Olympic Trials, they’re a two day competition. any feedback is welcome. i’m kinda upset that this series (or at least this part) is almost done, but there is more to come with this series i promise. also had to repost bc it wasn’t showing up in the tags

taglist: @butgilinsky @barbienoturbby @sunsetholland @lovenhlboys @sortagaysortahigh @hockey-racing-fubol @oopsiedoopsie23 @iwantahockeyhimbo @dreamsndior @itsurgirlgracie @heartshapedkissxs @lwstuff @handwrittenheroes

warnings: uh, i don’t think there’s anything, but if i miss something just let me know (the jamie mentioned is jamie oleksiak, not j b*nn)

sticking it masterlist

wc: 5.8

(not my gif)

“Are you sure that you have everything?” Joel asked for the twentieth time in the past hour, “we can run back to yours if you need anything else”

“I feel like you’re just trying to get me to stay with you longer,” you said, skeptically.

“Is it working?”

“No, Bee, I have to leave at some point,” you said, putting another bag of yours in his car,”I won’t be gone long.”

“Yeah, but you’ll be closer to the Stars and that has me worried,” he said, causing you to chuckle.

“You worried about Seggy? Or Roope? Or Big Rig? Or Mi-”

“Okay, I get it.”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, I love you and only you, shawty. Besides, I can only tolerate Texas weather for so long,” you said, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek.

“I love you, too, shawty,” he paused,”Wait,- that was rude.”

After packing the last of your bags into the car, you made your way to the airport to meet Marcus and Michelle. Once you arrived at the airport, Joel parked the car before the two of you headed into the airport. The four of you caught up for a while before Marcus suggested giving you and Joel time to say goodbye.

“Is this how it feels when me and the guys leave for the road?” Joel asked, softly.

“Yeah,” you said, smiling sadly.

“Well, good thing I’m the one on the road all the time, I mean, I don’t like leaving you, but when I’m leaving it’s a different feeling, you know.”

“Well glad it makes you happy, buddy.”

“Did you just buddy me?” Joel asked, incredulously.

“Did I?” you asked, laughing as Joel gasped in shock.

“Wow, I see how it is. I’ll remember that.”

“Go ahead, babe. Remember it however you want,” you paused when you saw the sad look on his face, reaching to hold his face in your hands, “hey, I’m only a text away, I might not be right here, but I will answer as soon as I can and we’ll facetime as much as you want these next few days.”

Joel nodded before looking up and seeing Marcus and Michelle headed your way, “we hate to cut this short, but we have to get going pretty soon.”

“I know I asked, but do you really have to go?”

“Yeah, Bee, I really have to go.”

“You better kick ass out there or else you’re just leaving for nothing,” he said, jokingly, “but honestly, I wish you the best of luck - I know you don’t need it, but I’ll say it anyway. Make sure to tell Nicole I said good luck and please make sure to wipe that smug look off Kathryn's face. Okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” you said, wrapping your arms around him as he pressed kiss to the top of your head. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too, but if you don’t go, the only thing you’ll be missing is your flight.”

“Wow, Bee, you are so funny.”

“Well, one of us has to be the funny one in the relationship. Your mom jokes only get you so far far in life, babe,” he said, causing you to elbow him in the stomach.

“I’m leaving now. I love you and I will text you when I land,” you leaned up for a quick goodbye kiss before grabbing your carry-on bag and heading to your gate. You avoided looking back, knowing that if you did, both of you wouldn’t let the other leave.

“I think you chose a good one,” Marcus said once the three of you had sat down.

“What?” you asked, shocked.

“Joel. He seems like a good guy. He clearly cares about you and I can see that you care a lot about him, too. He clearly makes you happy,” Marcus added.

Heat rushed up your face, to which you simply looked out the window, “yeah, he’s a good guy.”

“A cute one, too,” Michelle interrupted.

“Yes, that too. But Michelle, you better lay off,” the three of you laughed as the flight attendants started to announce the safety procedures for your flight. The three of you did your own thing the rest of the flight: Marcus planning out how podium training would go, Michelle analyzing your routines, and you sleeping.

“Alright, so as soon as we land, we get luggage and go to our hotel. There is a small media event tomorrow morning before podium training, then podium training, then probably some more media. You will have the rest of the night to do whatever, I know you’ll probably go see your Dallas friends and that’s fine, just make it back in time. Then, Friday is the first day of competition, Saturday is the second day, then we have some free time Sunday,” Marcus read off to you, even with you half asleep.

“Sounds lovely,” you grumbled.

…..

“So, y/n, with your injury being a top priority, how different have practices been since you are still somewhat in recovery?” one of the journalists asked. You had stayed prepared for a multitude of questions having to do with your injury, so this question had an easy response.

“I would say, it’s definitely a totally new experience. I’ve had to tailor my focus to other aspects of this sport since the start of my recovery, whether that be drills, more conditioning, or changing up my routines. My team and I definitely have figured out what things work and what doesn’t and we continue to learn as I continue training,” you answered, swiftly.

“Now obviously, you were the highest scorer in most of your competitions, even before your injury, how has competition changed for you? And what has inspired you to train harder?” another journalist asked.

“I have to say, competition is slightly more nerve-wracking than before. I mean getting injured at a major competition definitely changes perspective for all aspects of it. I feel that I have to be more cautious when performing, whereas before I would just go with the motions. Something that’s inspired me has been that my competitors have continued training, I have a fair amount of competition - all of which are excellent athletes - which has helped motivate me a lot, but I also have an amazing support system back home who have made sure to give me that extra motivation when I need it,” you smiled.

“Now, having to deal with that support system at home, who and how have they influenced your decisions of your journey through recovery?” which was the first question that made you smile.

“Well first, a huge shoutout to my family, especially my cousin, Kevin. Without his support, I wouldn’t have ever tried to get back in the gym, he’s been there this whole time and I couldn’t be more grateful. Um, my coaches were so supportive of my comeback; my physical trainor, Adrian, who told me all the doctors were wrong and gave me the reality checks I needed; the whole Philadelphia Flyers roster and their families cheered me on the whole time, especially my boyfriend, Joel Farabee. My friends, my teammates, all of them pushed me where I needed to be,” you said, gratefully.

“Thank you for your time, y/n. We wish you the best of luck this weekend,” the main announcer said to you before you went off to podium training.

Marcus and Michelle had both told you only to warm up simplified versions of your routine, so that you could bring shock factor when you were actually performing. You had upgraded almost all of your tumbling back to where it was before injury, but no one needed to know that besides you and those in your gym. Podium training had gone very well, better than you had anticipated, so you were looking forward to how championships would go.

As you packed up your gym bag and grabbed your phone, you saw all the messages you had from the Flyers group chat you had somehow found your way to.

Bee: did you guys see that too?

Tiki Bar: if we are talking about the same thing, i think we did.

Patti Lapone: did she actually say nice things about us?

Kev: i really think the texas heat is getting to her already

G: she’s probably just feeling under the weather about competition, otherwise we might want to check if she is okay

Scotty: i think i misheard or i got hit in the head and didn’t realize it

Frosty: hell has frozen over

Bee: haha. frost. frozen. get it

Tiki Bar: beezer.

G: i’ll make you do laps if you make another frost joke

Laughing at the texts in the group chat in reaction to your interview, you simply typed up a simple response: this is what i get when i’m nice, now you know why i’m not like this all the time.

Luckily for you, you didn’t have to do any media after podium training, so you were able to leave whenever you wanted to. After checking with Marcus and Michelle, you made sure it was alright that you went off to go see Tyler and the rest of the guys. Assuming that they would be at practice, after changing out of your leo, you took the drive to the Stars practice facility.

Having come to Fort Worth so much for gymnastics and Dallas for a few hockey games, you had run into some of the Stars roster on multiple occasions. By the third time you had ran into them, and this time ran into was a very literal statement, you had exchanged social medias and most of the roster kept an eye out for any updates in your gymnastics career. During your recovery, the whole team constantly asked for updates about how you were and how gymnastics was going.

Once you parked, you quietly made your way inside - not wanting to interrupt the practice. There were a few officials walking around, but most either paid you no mind or recognized you from times before you had been here. Walking towards the rink, your eyes settled on the boys doing laps for the last part of practice. It wasn’t until most of the guys were only talking and about to get off the ice that they noticed you.

Tyler was the first to notice you, smiling and waving towards you, which caused most of the team to follow where he was looking and notice you. As the team headed to the locker room to change, you simply waited on one of the benches for them.

“I feel like you only came all this way to see my dogs,” Tyler said, making his way towards you.

“No, I would never do such a thing, I obviously came here to say hi to you,” you stood up to give him a hug.

“Mhm, whatever you say. Didn’t you have podium training today? How’d it go?”

“Well, it went pretty well actually. I did a few of my dismounts, but kept most of my landings safe just to be careful. But other than that everything went well.”

“As long as you kick ass tomorrow, I’m fine,” he said, honestly, “do you have anything else to do for the rest of the day or did you just come to say hi?”

“Well, I have no plans for the rest of the day, but I don’t want to intrude on any team plans.”

“You know you would never be intruding on anything with us, even if you are dating a Flyer,” Jamie O said from behind you.

“God, Jamie, what the fuck? Where’d you come from?”

“Your mom’s house,” he said, earning a fist bump from Tyler.

“I can’t even be upset, that was a good one,” you smiled as Jamie hugged you,”and don’t bring Joel into this.”

“My condolences.”

“Condolences? No one died?” you questioned.

“You are dating someone that plays for the Flyers,” Tyler said.

“Damn, that’s harsh,” you replied.

“Anyways, moving on. Me and a few other guys were coming over to mine for lunch and to hangout, if you want to come you are welcome to,” Tyler said to which you simply nodded.

“Is that who I think it is?” another familiar voice rang out, causing you to whip your head around to see Roope and Jake heading your way.

“Well, if you thought it was me, then you would be correct, my friend,” you retaliated.

“I’m surprised they let you in here, considering you are dating a Flyer,” Otter said, jokingly.

“Quit bringing the fact that I’m dating Bee into the conversation.”

“At least Nicole is in the safe zone,” Roope said, causing your eyes to widen, “y/n. What was that?”

“What was what?” you questioned as Roope simply narrowed his eyes.

“You did the thing.”

“What are you talking about, bestie?”

“Oh, you have a habit of your face changing when you know something that will ruin the whole perspective or something or if you know a secret that will change the entire story. Very entertaining and concerning that you didn’t know,” Tyler added.

“Um, well, didn’t expect to be psychoanalyzed by a bunch of hockey players today, but here we are.”

“Ok, I think we should head to mine and then, we can continue psychoanalyzing you,” Tyler suggested to which you all agreed. Roope, who had gotten a ride from Tyler in the morning, immediately hopped into your car as soon as you unlocked it.

“What’s up with Nicole?” he asked as soon as you started driving.

“What happened to hello? How are you?” you joked.

“Listen, I’m asking now because I don’t want to talk about this with the guys there. But what did you mean?” he said, causing you to take a deep breath. It wasn’t like Roope and Nicole were ever together, but it was always an unspoken fling of sorts, that they never made official.

“Look,-”

“Please, just tell me what’s happening,” he pleaded.

“Nicole and Nolan are sort of together,” you rushed out, causing a moment of silence to break out. You didn’t know what to expect as a reaction, considering they weren’t official and hadn’t really talked since the last time you and her were in Texas.

“Is she happy?”

“Yeah, she’s happy.”

“Okay, that’s all I care about,” he said simply, which made your heart almost break for one of your closest friends.

…..

Being able to spend time with some of your close friends that you hadn’t seen in a while was just what you needed to destress about championships. Maybe an intense game of uno with five of the most competitive people was exactly what some might call a destressor, but here you were.

Tyler threw down his cards as he stood up dramatically, “no, because there is no way that a.) she already has an uno and that b.) all of you used your draw two cards against me.”

“Don’t be upset, Ty, that’s just how the game of uno is sometimes,” you replied, hiding a laugh.

“Oh, shut up. I think you guys cheated,” Tyler accused.

“I think you just don’t know how to play uno,” Jamie mumbled.

“Oh, yeah, real funny. I think you all teamed up against me and Jake dealt that way on purpose.”

“And we all think, you just can’t accept a loss in uno,” Roope added.

“Fine, let’s settle this like men,” Tyler grabbed all the cards, attempting to shuffle them before accepting he couldn’t shuffle and handing them over to you to shuffle, “I’m watching you.”

“Oh, wow, so scared,” quickly shuffling them, doing a little bit more than usual to get Tyler off your case, you handed them back to him, “there you go.”

Another final round of uno, which ended up with you and Roope head to head as far as who would win, while Tyler had ended up with at least 15 cards to which Jamie was the first to speak up, “I think we should end here before someone gets hurt.”

“No, no, we’re fine. It’s fine. y/n, take your turn,” he said, eyes narrowing as he watched from beside you. Even if it was your last card, you dropped the draw 4, which made Tyler draw more cards.

“Damn, that sucks,” you said, hiding a laugh.

“What was that, y/n?” Tyler said.

“I said, damn, that sucks,” you repeated, watching Tyler closely as he stood up quickly once again, before practically chasing you. “Tyler, it’s just uno. Stop chasing me.”

“Oh, wow, ‘damn, that sucks’” Tyler mocked.

As the other three watched, Jamie just grabbed the bowl of popcorn as they watched their friends running around chasing each other. “I see why we don’t play uno much,” Jake said.

“Yep. Exactly. But no one listened when I advised against it,” Jamie said, taking a drink of his beer.

“Tyler, watch yourself,” you said, as he stood on the opposite side of the couch. He started running one way, as you ran the other to avoid him, but he quickly sidestepped and caught up to you. Practically throwing you over his shoulder, he made his way out to the pool, “Tyler, let’s not do anything crazy here.”

“Oh, you mean like hold a draw four card until the end of the game,” Tyler said, as he tossed you into the deep end of his pool.

“Children. Literal children,” Roope said, shaking his head, going to grab you a towel.

Rising up from the water and quickly moving the hair out of your face, you swam over to where Tyler was, “hey, can you help me out?”

“Nah, I’m not falling for that one,” he stated.

“Seriously, I won’t do anything right now, I promise,” you said, as you saw him reach his arm out to which you quickly grabbed and stood out of the pool. Walking towards Roope, who had grabbed you a towel, you turned back around to see Tyler still walking near the pool. Using this to your advantage, you ran and pushed Tyler into the pool. “Sorry, bestie,” you said, running to get the towel from Roope and running back in the house.

After getting changed into one of Tyler’s extra shirts he had lying around, you were just hanging out with the guys when a familiar contact flashed on the screen to FaceTime, Jake who was right next to you immediately noticed, “ooh, better go talk to your man, y/n.”

“Shut the literal fuck up,” you called back, standing up to go the kitchen for privacy. Answering, you noticed that Joel was at Nolan and Kevin’s apartment, “were you that lonely without me, babe?”

“No, well maybe, but I’m helping them set up for the watch party tomorrow,” Joel said, taking a seat at their kitchen island, “how’d podium training go?”

“It went really well actually, I didn’t work the 3.5 just so that way I have something over their heads, you know. But other than that, it was all good. How are things at home?”

“Well, I mean no one is dead, which is always good. Um, debated getting a dog, my mom called, I told her about you. Uh, already told you about the watch party. I don’t think anything else interesting happened,” he said, shrugging as if he hadn’t just mentioned bringing you up to his mom.

“Wait, you told your mom about me?”

“Well, she does follow me on Instagram, so after seeing the post she texted me asking and then she asked while we were on the phone. She wished you good luck, by the way. She’s also visiting here with my dad in a few weeks and I’d really love it if you would meet them,” he said, shyly.

“Uh, yeah, yeah, of course,” you rushed out, hoping you didn’t sound as nervous as you were.

“That sounded very unsure.”

“No, it’s fine. I just have never been at the spot in a relationship where I meet the parents, I’m just nervous. I don’t want to mess it up.”

“Babe, my mom already loves you, she was getting on my case about not telling her, but she already thinks very highly of you and I definitely hyped you up a little bit. You have nothing to worry about,” he reassured you, which made you smile.

“Hey, y/n/n,” Kevin yelled.

“Hey, Kev.”

“You were very nice in your interview today, it had all of us worried,” Kevin said, which caused you to roll your eyes in response.

“Hey, I can be nice sometimes.”

“On very rare occasions, yes,” Joel added.

“Whatever.” As you talked a little while longer with the guys, eventually Roope and Tyler had come in to say hi to everyone as well, which had you dying laughing as both of them gave the ‘you hurt her, we fly to Philly and hurt you’ talk that almost everyone had given him.

Telling Joel you would call him back whenever you made it back to your hotel, you stayed with the guys for another couple of hours before heading back to your hotel. Nicole had spent most of the day after podium training resting and had met you in the hotel lobby when you got back.

“So,- “ she didn’t even have to finish her sentence before you knew what she was saying.

“Roope is doing good, he said he hopes things are going well,” you said, watching as a small smile crept up her face.

“Well, good to know. Did you know KD is also staying at this hotel?”

“Well, considering this is the host hotel and most competitors are here, I am not all that shocked.”

“Yeah, but you probably didn’t know she’s legit a few rooms away from us, did ya?”

“No, guess not,” you said, “how’d you find that one out?”

“Well, let me set the scene for you. I go to get ice and then I hear her talking with, uh, whatever her name is, Callie or Carly, it starts with a C. Anyways, they were talking about you and me and how our skills have been less than recently and all this stuff about you not catching up to where you were - which I found so fucking funny because who has won gold at the past few meets? Not her. Anyways, all is fair in the sport of gymnastics, but I’m just excited to see her reaction to you doing the 3.5.”

“Damn, no pressure there, Nic.”

“Okay, but the thing is, you have the skill,” Nicole said, as you got into the elevator. “You have it down. It’s all up here, in your cranium,” she said, pointing to your head.

“Alright, let’s just go to bed now,” you said, slowly removing her hand and opening the door to your hotel room.

…..

“Hello everyone and welcome to Day One of the 2021 US Gymnastics Championships. We are very excited to see how today’s competition goes as this competition will decide who makes it onto the National Team and who will qualify for Olympic Trials,” Joel heard the announcer say as he made his way to sit with everyone in the living room.

“Did you talk to her this morning?” Claude asked from beside him.

“Yeah, usual pre-comp anxieties. Nolan talked to her and Nicole to give the usual pep talk and then we talked for a while on their way to the arena,” Joel answered, looking back to the TV to see you prepping for bars, “she said podium training went well, but Kathryn was talking shit, so all I know is she better kick her ass.”

“You know she will, it happens everytime. She gets in her head and still does amazing, just a casual Tuesday,” Scott added.

“It’s not Tuesday?” Travis questioned.

“Yes, I know,” Scott said, confusing everyone.

“Alright, moving on,” Joel reiterated.

“And starting on bars, we have y/n y/l/n. Now if you remember, less than a year ago, y/n was injured at another competition doing a beam dismount that she might be competing in today’s competition. She is definitely one to watch as she has a reputation of scoring high in these meets, before and after her return. Her teammate, Nicole Carter, will be following up.”

Joel watched as you stepped away from the chalk box to start your routine, he watched intently as you jumped from the springboard to reach the high bar. He watched intently as you went through your routine. Release skills. Giants. Pirouettes. More release skills. More giants. Dismount. Stuck landing.

“A great start to Day 1 for y/n, who seems pretty proud of how that routine went,” the announcer said, “rotation two will be beam, where we might see that 3.5 twist, which is currently in the process of being named by Kathryn Davis, who was the first to compete it at a major competition. Now the question everyone is wondering is will we see this skill from y/n today?”

“She’s doing it. Fucking dumbass,” Joel grumbled at the announcer.

“Damn, Beezer, tell them how you really feel,” Travis replied, as everyone else laughed at Joel’s behavior before watching Nicole compete. Nicole’s routine ended with a stuck landing, the camera following her as she made her way off the platform and hugged you before the two of you did your secret handshake.

Knowing the next event was beam, Joel waited as other competitors did their routines as you were warming up. He knew this moment would make or break how the rest of the meet went and with this only being your second event, it needed to go well.

Everyone watched anxiously as you saluted the judges, shaking your hands out before you reached to mount the beam. You took a deep breath before actually starting your routine. Starting the beginning choreography, you kept your movements sharp and clean. All the skills in your routine were sharp - doing this so if the dismount didn’t go well, it hopefully wouldn’t affect your score too much.

Joel had memorized your routines, knowing you were approaching your dismount, he saw your movements become slightly hesitant. Watching as you did a quick pivot on the beam to prep for the dismount, he watched you take a deep breath.

“C’mon, babe. You got it,” he said, and by whatever power was listening he watched your lips twitch up to a smile as you started your dismount. Going for the round-off and starting the twists, you did the three and a half twists, opening up to find your landing, and stuck your dismount. Joel’s smile grew even more when he saw how happy you were with your routine.

The rest of Day 1 of Championships went well for both you and Nicole; the two of you ending in the first and place spot in all around, with Kathryn following close behind. After the competition, both of you had your media conferences before you made your way back to the hotel. As both of you checked your phone, you saw the multiple notifications from various social medias.

“Dude, did you see what Ryanne posted?” Nicole asked, a look on her face that you couldn’t easily recognize.

“No, hold on,” you opened Instagram to see she had tagged you in multiple posts on her instagram story: starting off with a picture of all the guys wearing a jersey with your and Nicole’s name on it, a picture of all the guys watching warms ups intently, a video of Joel and Travis debating the name of a skill from Nicole’s routine (Travis was right), a video of Joel watching you do your beam routine and cheering you on right as you go for your dismount, and then a video of everyone cheering as you and Nicole as they announced the end of day 1.

…..

After falling asleep with Joel on FaceTime, you woke up to your 6am alarm to get ready for Day 2 of championship, Joel - who had told you he would wake up with you - was still sound asleep. Getting you and Nicole an apple from the lobby, you talked to a few of your competitors and a few fans before heading back to yours and Nicole’s room.

“Wake up, bitch, it’s Day 2 of Championships,” you said, jumping to lay next to Nicole on her bed.

“Leave me to die here, I don’t want to go. USAG can suck a homeless man’s dick,” she mumbled into the pillow.

“That’s truly something, wait til the media teams hear about that one,” you joked, only to get a glare sent your way.

“You know what? You can suck on one, too,” she responded, pulling the blanket over her head.

“Well at least, there's less competition,” to which she quickly peaked out of the blanket.

“Oh, you wish. We’re neck and neck this time, so we’ll see who gets bragging rights.”

“Well if you don’t get out of bed, then we’ll never know,” you said, to which she only sent a glare your way.

“Do we really have to get up and compete today? Do you think we could petition to reschedule?”

“I mean, I’m sure if we talked to people, we’d get a lot of signatures, but I don’t think it would go over well,” you said, grabbing your garment bag that held your leo for today, “I’m going to go get ready because I know if we end up talking to Joel and Nolan first, we won’t be ready in time.”

After you got ready, both you and Nicole got your pep talk from Nolan and Bee. On the way to the arena, both of you got a bunch of good luck messages - not just from your friends and family, but also from teammates and even some from most of the Stars roster. You had a feeling in your gut that today would be a good day.

…..

“Alright folks, Day 2 of Championships have been off to a great start and are about to come to a close. With Nicole Carter in first with a 57.605 All-Around score and Kathryn Davis in second with a 57.1, Cassie Riley in third with a 56.2, it comes down to the final rotations. y/n y/l/n is one of the last to go on floor today, who will need a score of at least a 13.5 to get first,” the announcer said.

“And compared to her average score, this will be easily attainable. If she scores at least a 14.5, she’ll be first overall for both days of competition. She already has a for sure spot at Trials, even when you don’t consider scores. As long as she is able to hit all elements of this routine, she’ll be fine,” another announcer said.

“Ok, you’re good, you just have to hit this routine and there’s no doubt you’ll make it to where you want to be. Deep breaths, Twinkle Toes,” Marcus said.

Walking up the platform to get up to the floor, you took your spot at the edge of the floor, ready to salute the judge, and get the last meet of championships out of the way. After anxiously waiting, the judge finally saluted. Entering the floor with a determined walk, you took your spot waiting for the familiar sound of your floor music to ring out.

That familiar feeling of doing the sport you loved, once again, rushed through your veins. Block everything out and complete the routine, that’s all you had to do. Going to your starting pose, the music started. Going through the familiar motions of your routine, you stuck your first tumbling pass. Then came the leaps and jump sequence and all that was in between, with the additional three tumbling passes.

You didn’t give yourself a chance to overthink about your routine, you knew that it wouldn’t benefit you in any way, but as you stepped off the floor you knew that you did what you could. As soon as you made it back to where Marcus and Nicole were sitting, you waited to see what your score was.

Joel and everyone watching at home watched as you sat down to see what your score was. He had this dopey grin gracing his features from the amount of pride he felt in that moment. He didn’t care what your score was, he knew you had put whatever you could out on the mat. He listened to Travis for a moment until the announcer started up again for scores and awards, “and y/n y/l/n pulled through with the score that she needed, a 14.9 on floor. She placed first in All-Around, Carter following right behind, and Davis in third. If all goes this well at trials, I’d say we have a lot of good representation for the Olympic Games.”

…..

After the meet and countless amount of interviews both you and Nicole were extremely worn out and had both passed out on the flight back. As you and Nicole stepped out of the terminal, you were met with the familiar faces of your friends and family. You smiled as you saw Bee for the first time in a few days and despite how tired you were, you couldn’t stop yourself from running to him.

He immediately caught you and did the cliche spin (the one you swore you would never do) before pulling you into a regular hug, “I’m so proud of you, babe. You have no idea.”

“Thank you. I surprisingly missed you,” you joked, laughing harder when Joel pulled you away slightly to catch a glimpse of your face.

“Wow, aren’t I glad I was blessed with such a nice girlfriend? It’s crazy.”

“Absolutely insane.”

“Preposterous.”

“Can the two of you shut the fuck up?” Kevin asked, coming over to give you a hug, “you did good out there, y/n/n. You also kept all your bones intact, I’m proud.”

“Shut the fuck up, Kev.”

“Okay, aside from you getting onto Kev and Bee, I missed you, too,” Karly said from beside Travis.

“I kinda did, too. You did amazing though, y/n/n. I’m proud,” Travis said.

“Thank you, thank you. All in a hard day's work,” you said, shrugging.

“Dude, you might want to go back to Beezer, he looks like a lost puppy watching you talk to us,” Travis pointed out, nodding in Joel’s direction who smiled when you caught his eye.

“Yeah, not a shocking development,” you said, before walking back in Joel’s direction, “hey, Bee.”

“Hey, honey,” he said, wrapping his arms around you again, “you ready to go home?”

“Yeah, of course,” you leaned up to kiss his cheek.

“Ew, guys. Get a room,” Kevin called out, fake gagging.

#joel farabee #joel farabee x reader #joel farabee imagines #joel farabee x gymnast!reader #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #hockey imagines

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jadedxrealityw · 3 years

Text

-Evermore- Draco Malfoy x Female Reader

♡~🐍~♡

Summary: The wizarding war is starting and your family fears for their safety. Even though they were purebloods, they were not death-eaters. They decide to flee to america, but you, unlike them have someone to lose by leaving.

Kody: The song this image is based off of. Evermore by Dan Stevens (From the Beauty And The Beast 2017 Movie)

Year: 7th

House: Slytherin

Possible Triggers/Warnings: some angst, cursing i think?

♡~🐍~♡

when you were 13 you had the displeasure of meeting Draco Malfoy. Just transferring from America had been a big change for you, but you were ready to take on the challenge of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. That was until you bumped into him.

you hit somebody’s chest with a harsh thud “Watch where your bloody going!” someone shouted at you. You step back and meet the cold grey eyes off a pale boy. “Excuse me?” you said, slightly taken aback by his loud shouting. The boy had an amused grin on his face.

‘I was the one who had it all. I was the master of my fate’

“do i need to repeat myself? Watch where you're going? Who even are you? You sound american” he crosses his arms over his chest. You raise a brow ‘who does he think he is?’ you thought. “I’m Y/n L/n from ilvermorny. I just transferred here today so i am in fact American.”

his grin didn’t falter in the slightest “What’s your blood status?” he asked. You almost gasped. Why did he need to know that at all. You keep your composure this time putting on a grin of your own. “and why does that matter in the slightest?” you question.

“Because, i’m Draco Malfoy, pureblood and i shouldn’t be wasting my time with anyone less” he spoke with such smugness that you wanted to punch him right then and there. You put on a fake pout before answering “It’s to bad that i don’t care about blood status then huh?”

with those words you pushed past him and his trio of friends, leaving him in your metaphorical dust. As you walked away Draco watched your every movement. He was captivated by the way you stood up for yourself. It was different. It was exciting.

“I remember now! She’s from the american pureblood family. The L/n’s!” Theo shouted with a proud smile at his memory. Draco looked at him with a surprised expression “Really? Why didn’t she just tell me that then?” he replied, slightly irritated.

“because she was messing with you and you walked right into, Malfoy” Pansy rolls her eyes “I swear boys are so stupid” scoffing she began walking to class. Blaise and Theo following after her. Draco just sighed very loudly “Oh so now i’m the bad guy!”

♡~🐍~♡

‘I never needed anybody in my life. I learned the truth too late’

the next week during potions class Draco was visibly struggling with a potion he had been working on all class and if he didn’t get it done before the end of the session he would fail. “That doesn’t look quite right” a voice said from beside him. He looks over to see you, standing behind him.

“Shove off L/n and mind your own potion” he hissed, each word laced with venom. What a Slytherin am i right? “I’m already finished, i think you missed an ingredient” you say, leaning over to look at his potion. He uses his free hand to push your head away “I don’t need anything else, it has to be perfect.Now leave”

he watches you place something next to his cauldron and walk away to your own desk. He gazes over at what you had left. Unicorn hair? hes hesitant, but picks it up then drops it in the cauldron. He watches the potion change to the right color and smiles to himself.

he looks over at you and you give him a small wink before going back to your potion. Maybe you weren’t that bad, but he’d never say that out loud.

♡~🐍~♡

‘I'll never shake away the pain’

fast forward to 4th year, yule ball is upon Draco and he came alone. Pansy was taking Ginny and Blaise was taking Theo. As he stood at the entrance of the ball he felt a presence to his left “Did Draco Malfoy come alone to the ball?” a teasing, familiar tone said.

‘I close my eyes but she's still there’

he rolled his eyes and prepared a witty comeback, but all words left him once he saw you in a beautiful black dress. “Have i left you speechless?” you ask, stifling laughter. He regains his composure somehow and grins “Didn’t you come alone as well, why? Did no one ask you?” he teased.

you shake your head “No actually three seperate boys asked me. I just said no” you say simply, catching Draco off guard. “Really? Why?” he questions, He watches as you sigh deeply “Because i was waiting for you to ask me of course. Now do you want to dance?”

‘I let her steal into my melancholy heart’

Draco stood in shock before he felt you grab his hand, leading him to the middle of the dance floor. “Unless you don’t want to of course?” you tilt your head to the side. He shakes his head a bit before placing his hands on your waist. A strange feeling envelops his chest.

you wrap your arms around his neck, giving him a warm smile “You seem frightened by me?” you ask, unsure of your own question. He shakes his head quickly “No!- no i’m not, it’s just- thank you for saving me from the embarrassment of going alone. I don’t want people to think im-” he admits.

"a loser?” you finish his sentence. He chuckles at your answer “Yeah, something like that” he responds, his tone sadder then before. You shrug your shoulders at his statement “I wouldn’t think your a loser. I’d still like you” you spoke confidently.

his grey eyes widened as you said those three words to him.

‘It's more than I can bear’

and he ran away...

♡~🐍~♡

weeks had past and students were now leaving the train to meet up with their parents for the summer. Draco hadn’t spoken to you at all. He was to scared to admit his own feelings to you. It was a coward move sure, but it was better than having to look at your bright E/c eyes and fall even more.

Draco was holding his luggage in one hand when he bumped into someone “Oh my, i’m so sorry” and there was the familiar voice again. His eyes locked with yours “Hey Y/n” he said. You scoff and place your luggage down, turning your body towards his.

“you leave me on the dance floor and reject me in the most rude way possible and all you say is ‘Hey Y/n’ if you were that disgusted by me Draco Malfoy, you could have just said so!” you shouted at him, he could see the tears brimming through the same E/c eyes he had seen so many times before.

he felt his world shatter a tiny bit at your outburst “No that’s not it at all. No one has ever liked me before okay?! It’s different. Especially when i like them back” it was your turn to be surprised this time. “Oh...you do?” you say, wondering if your ears had been playing tricks on you.

Draco nods slowly “Yes, i like you Y/n and i’m sorry for the way i acted at the yule ball” he says genuinely, no trace of mischief in his eyes. The corners of your mouth turn upward in a smile “Apology accepted” you nod once. He copies your smile.

“so what does that make us?” he asked. You roll your eyes “It makes us boyfriend and girlfriend Draco. That means i am yours and you are mine, got it?” you state, pointing a finger at him. He grins lightly and nods “I wouldn’t dream of anything else.”

‘Now I know she'll never leave me’

you smile up at him before your eyes looked at something behind him. “Oh that’s my parents! I have to go, but i’ll write you!” you force each word out quickly then stand on your tippy toes to kiss his cheek. You give him one last smile before picking up your luggage shouting mom and dad.

‘Even as she runs away’

Draco turns behind him to watch as you walked away with your parents, his hand reaching up to touch the cheek you had left a kiss on. He felt his mind go fuzzy as the tingling feeling still lingered on his kiss. He let out a deep sigh “She’ll be the absolute death of me, that’s for sure”

‘She will still torment me’

♡~🐍~♡

the month you two spent apart was one of the worst feelings Draco had ever felt. Now that you two were together, he had this nagging feeling of always wanting to hold you and just be by you in anyway. He didn’t know he could become so attached to someone.

after one night he had a fight with his father he stormed up to his room, slamming the door. He tried to calm himself down, but it was no use. The anger just wouldn’t subside. That was until a soft knock came to his door “Draco, honey. A letter came for you. From someone named Y/n L/n?”

Draco quickly opened his door. Narcissa handed him the letter and turned on her heels to walk down the hall. He closed his door again and rushed over to his bed. He opens the letter, your handwriting was so unique. With each word he read, the angered feeling drained away and a comforting one replaced it.

‘Calm me, hurt me’

he did scowl at the small section of you berated him on how he should of sent a letter first, but he also found it quite cute. He collected each one of your letters after that. He kept them in a black wooden chest that he hid under his bed. They became his cherished memories.

‘Move me, come what may. Wasting in my lonely tower’

he wished that he could have spent that summer with you instead...

♡~🐍~♡

‘Waiting by an open door’

his leg wouldn’t stop shaking, he was going to see you again and it was the start of his fifth year and whatever, but that wasn’t on his mind at the moment. He was sitting in the Slytherin cabin of the train, waiting for you to step on. His mind was racing in two different directions.

‘I'll fool myself, she'll walk right in’

while waiting his mind had convinced myself that she was actually a figment of his screwed up imagination and he was a fool for waiting for her, but after realizing that even thinking that was the truth was mental he calmed down quite a bit.

“Draco?” that familiar voice spoke. He looks up to meet your E/c eyes once again. He jumps up from his seat and wraps his arms around you tightly. You stumble on your feet a bit, but hold onto him as well. “Happy to see you too?” you say with a small laugh.

“please don’t ever go on vacation for the summer again, i couldn’t handle it”he breathed out into your ear. You smile and pat his back “Okay i won’t you big baby” he pulls away and pecks your lips quickly, your face flushing. He grins a bit at your reaction. “Your lucky i like you Draco Malfoy”

‘And be with me for evermore’

♡~🐍~♡

‘I rage against the trials of love. I curse the fading of the light’

they were 16, it’s been a year since they started dating and Draco was, to put in simple terms. Losing. His. Shit. Not only did he have the dark lord’s orders to fulfill, you were coming over tonight and he was going to tell you those three terrifying words.

his thoughts could no longer race as a knock came to his bedroom door “Draco?” oh shit. You were here. He takes a deep breath before going over and opening the door. He instantly wraps his arms around your waist “hello darling” he says in a breathy tone before leaning down to kiss your lips.

“hmm, hi” you say in between kisses. “I can’t believe your mom said yes to me sleeping over” Draco leads you into his room, shutting the door. He shrugs “Mother knows how much you mean to me so” he trails off at the end. You nod “Yeah i am your girlfriend, so it makes sense”

‘Though she's already flown so far beyond my reach’

“yeah, but your so much more to me” he says, his tone becoming serious. You chuckle nervously at his change of demeanour “Okay..” he lets out a deep sigh “oh merlin, i’m trying to say i love you Y/n. i’m in love with you. Like stupidly in love with you and you say boys are stupid”

a smile grows on your face before you wack his arm with your hand “Ow!” “Next time just say that you goof. I love you too Draco” you exclaim. He chuckles before scooping you back into his arms and both of you share a sweet kiss.

♡~🐍~♡

now. 7th year. With the wizardry war starting and people choosing sides. Things were getting chaotic and fast. “Y/n pack your things quickly, were leaving!” your mother shouted from the living room. You rush downstairs in a haste “What do you mean were leaving!?”

your mother turns to you with a horrified expression “the sacred 28 are coming. There going to try and convert us to death eaters. Were leaving for America now!” she shouts. You shake you head rapidly “But Draco- i can’t leave him!”

“He’s a death eater Y/n. I know you love him darling, but he chose his side” she spoke in a comforting tone, but you didn’t find it comforting at all. Pulling out your wand you apparate away. Leaving your mother in shock. Where had you gone.

♡~🐍~♡

‘She's never out of sight’

a there you were. Standing in Draco’s room. He looked away from the window and to you “Y/n? You can’t be here. Love. you have to leave” he spoke in a hushed tone as he walked towards you, grasping your shoulders. “I know Draco, i know your a death eater”

his grey eyes were filled with shame, looking away from you “I’m so sorry. It wasn’t my choice Y/n you have to believe me. It was my fathers idea i swear on everything” the way he spoke was enough to convince you. “I believe you Draco. I do” he lets out a sigh of relief “Thank merlin”

“my family is fleeing to America. The sacred 28 are coming to my house right now to give me the mark” his eyes were no longer shameful, but terrified. “You have to go then” he said, cupping your face with his hands “I can’t-” “-Yes you can. Love, your not safe here”

“I don’t care. I can’t leave you Draco. It would be too painful” you spoke, tears starting to water in your eyes. He nods slowly “I know, but as soon as this mess is over you can come find me again. I’ll be waiting at my front door for you. I promise”

you look down, refusing to meet his gaze as tears began to stream down your cheeks “Promise me Y/n” he says more sternly. You hesitantly look up at him “I promise” you nod, putting your hands over his. “I love you Y/n L/n” he chokes out. “I love you too Draco Malfoy-”

“-I had a feeling you’d be here” a voice came from the doorway. Narcissa Malfoy. Draco lets go of you and pushes you behind him “Mother please” he begged. Narcissa waved her hand “There’s no need for that Draco, come along Y/n so i can sneak you out. They’ll know if you apparate”

‘Now I know she'll never leave me’

“Your not going to tell the dark lord?” you asked, holding onto Draco’s arm. Narcissa simply smiled and shook her head “I could never do that to you or my son, now we must leave at once” she held out her hand for you. You look at Draco before letting go of him.

‘Even as she fades from view’

“Make me a promise as well. In the end you’ll choose the right side in the end” you say/ He nods slowly “Anything for you” he spoke, giving you a smile that you return. Narissa grabs your hand and leads you out the room, closing the door. He waits a couple minutes before looking out his window.

he saw his mother leading you out the Manor. She seemed to say something to you before placing something in your palm. She gives you a kiss on your head before you apparate away. At that moment, his whole world had shattered. You were gone. Really gone.

♡~🐍~♡

‘She will still inspire me. Be a part of everything I do’

and he kept his promise. At the day of the final battle when Harry Potter fell out of Hagrid’s arms. He ran towards him and threw his wand at him before leaving the scene completely. He hoped his mother wouldn’t worry to much about his whereabouts, but when Harry finally defeated the dark lord. He smiled.

he couldn’t wait to see you again. After charges were being dealt to his parents Draco and his mother were pardoned of all crimes due to there help towards Harry and his friends. For once he thank Potter for speaking for him at his trial. He wasn’t such a bad guy.

‘Wasting in my lonely tower’

it had been days since the war was over and there was still no word from you. It had been months without contact and you were no where to be found. He went by your old house. Empty. Not a single witch or wizard to be seen. Had you moved on?

‘Waiting by an open door. I'll fool myself, she'll walk right in’

like he promised, every morning, afternoon, and night. He wait by his door for an hour. Waiting for you to walk down the Manor path so he could wrap you in his arms again and feel your familiar warmth again, but a week had gone by and nothing, but he wouldn’t lose hope.

‘And as the long, long nights begin. I'll think of all that might have been’

he started waiting longer at the door. One hour turned to three. Narcissa had became worried about her sons health. So she made sure that he ate and drank enough water. Even help him to bed when he passed out leaning on the doorframe. Which he did. A lot.

♡~🐍~♡

three weeks. Nothing. The early morning shift that day he wore his night clothes as he sat on the concrete. He had his face in his hands, rubbing away any tired feeling he had. “Draco?” his whole body froze like ice. He prayed that it wasn’t the tiredness as he looked up.

there you were. A small smile on your face as you stared down at him. He leaped off the ground and grabbed your face “What took you so bloody long?!” he shouts. “I had to wait until i turned 18 so i could leave. My mom tried to keep us apart, but it’s okay. I’m here now”

he nods vigorously. “You are. Your here” he smashes his lips onto yours in a passionate kiss. It lasts a couple seconds before you pull away “Your mom gave me this by the way” you pull a silver ring out your pocket. It had a small black diamond on it. “My mother's engagement ring?”

you chuckle “That makes a lot of sense now. she told me to give this to you to give to me when we see each other again” his face flushes slightly as he takes it from your hand “After you leaving me for a month. I never want to lose you again. will you possibly, maybe, marry me?”

he looked unsure of your answer. “Of course you goof. Gosh, boys are so stupid” you say and hold out your hand. He grabs it and slides the ring on your finger. he gives you the brightest smile “I love you Draco Malfoy”

“I love you too Y/n Malfoy”

‘Waiting here for evermore’

♡~🐍~♡

Kody- 4am, sleep now. scoliosis hurting. Anyways, peace.

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ka-writes · 3 years

Text

——————

Notes: I had already started on the second chapter before I posted the first one, so don’t expect updates every day... I also had to do a lot of googling for this chapter.

——————

Chapter 1 in case you missed it:

——————

Inspired by:

Humans are Space Velociraptors

By:FreshRoses_InMyGarden_NeedTheRain

Some kids come from storks, others come from crashed spaceships

By: mmmajora

Home Again, Home Again

By: teeth_eater

All works can be found on Ao3

——————

Warnings: Cussing, needles, character conflicts, intentional poisoning, poisoning, Jaws reference

——————

“Humans are [and text here]”

Chapter 2: What is this, an interview?

Tommy was now restrained to a chair six feet away from the weird scientist alien. He had a dark brown lab coat with a fuzzy yellow sweater underneath, matched with black pants and black leather boots. His gold rimmed Harry Potter glasses slipped down his nose bridge a bit before he pushed it up and shuffled through papers. He wore a red beanie with a big whiff of his curly chocolate hair. His skin was a weird translucent grayish color with blue speckles decorating it. He had deep brown eyes with an odd electric blue circle outlining the pupil.

His tongue licked his finger as he turned the page. This was a habit that most of the weird teachers and counselors did. It always annoyed Tommy. This time fear was also mixed into that annoyance. His saliva was tinted blue and he had sharp teeth which immediately reminded him of a shark.

“You have shark teeth.” Tommy stated absentmindedly. Clearly, this caught the scientist alien off guard.

“I have what?” The alien asked, confused.

“Shark teeth.. ya know like the weird fish creatures that eat people.” Tommy started rambling causing the shark-alien to become even more confused and slightly alarmed. “I mean I think they eat people. That’s what the shark movie showed… what was its name, Jaws I think? I dunno, my foster mom freaked out in the middle of it and we went home. That lady was weird.. She made us wear itchy clothes and take weird photos before she sent me back to the group home.”

“What?..” The shark-alien asked. Tommy jumped a bit. He forgot he was rambling to a stranger. Alien stranger at that.

“Doesn’t matter.. What's the first question bitch-boy?” Tommy liked the way the alien jumped at the randomly timed insults.

“Er- right.. First off, what’s your name?” The shark-alien asked after collecting himself.

“Tommy Innit. Yours bitch-boy?” Tommy replied.

“Wilbur Soot. Stop calling me bitch-boy!” Wilbur huffed.

“Next question, bitch-boy!” Tommy emphasized the name, getting an even angrier expression in return. Wilbur’s weird blue circle flashed red for a second which caught Tommy off guard.

Wilbur took a shaky breath before asking the next question. “How old are you?”

“Old enough! I am a big man!” Tommy stated. Yet another thing that pissed him off.

“Age?” Wilbur asked, clearly irritated.

“18.” Wilbur raised a brow, “14.” Tommy huffed. His age should only be his business not some alien-bitch who didn’t even have his file.

“If you keep lying, I may have to get the truth serum from the back.” Wilbur half-heartedly threatened. Tommy, the big man that he is, did not get scared at that statement, only slightly unsettled which clearly showed on his face.

“Now, do you have a family?” Tommy tensed at the question. It was a touchy question and was not one that was asked often especially with his reputation.

“I am a big man. I don’t need a family to be great.” Tommy stated, happy with the answer. The alien-bitch shifted awkwardly.

“Right… What is your diet?”

“Umm.. I dunno, whatever I can find. I am allergic to nuts though..” Wilbur nodded in understanding and wrote things down in his notepad.

“What plants are poisonous to you?” Wilbur asked without looking up from his notes.

“Ermm, poison Ivy, poison oak… uh I think parts of rhubarb, and most wild berries. I am not sure other than that.” Wilbur nodded while adding bits to his notes.

“What was the place you lived like?” This time Wilbur glanced up to look at Tommy. This was again another touchy subject… How many times would this alien bitch get into the sad background?

“Shitty.” Tommy snapped. That was the only response the bitch was gonna get.

“Right.. Do you have music on Earth?”

Tommy scoffed, “Of course we have music, dumbass!”

“Can you tell me about the animals there?” Wilbur asked, almost hopeful.. which was weird. What was he hoping for?

“Erm I guess..” Tommy mumbled, trying to figure out where to start, “There’s a bunch of animals. Mainly on land. My favorite would be the cow.”

“What’s that?” Curiosity stained Wilbur’s face. This got Tommy excited; he was practically beaming as he started talking.

“Well they are these big ruminants that make milk and have horns. There are a bunch of types too like the highland cow, which obviously is the most poggers one. They are a Scottish breed with really long hair. I met one once, on a field trip his name was Henry.” Tommy rambled on for the next two and a half hours, jumping from topic to topic and explaining anything that wasn’t personal. He usually ended those paths with short insults.

——————

Wilbur hated to stop the kids' detailed story, but two and a half celestial hours had already passed, and Dream would be coming to check soon. Luckily, he had a couple new poisons that could pass off as a research development. He had even managed to send the distressed signal and no doubt Phil would already be there with the SBI craft ready to fly at any given moment.

“Alright Tommy.” His voice dropped to a serious tone causing the kid to stop his story of how he got poisoned by mushrooms on a camping trip. “You’re gonna have to trust me just for a bit. I am going to get you off the ship at the next stop but in the meantime I need you to tell me how allergic you’re to nuts.” The kid immediately tensed at the question.

“I am mainly allergic to tree nuts.. almonds being the worst. After a few minutes I can’t breathe properly and I usually pass out. The doctor said if I don’t get it treated within 15 minutes, death is most likely.” He took a moment to go through the information. The kid most likely has an anaphylaxis reaction to tree nuts. Meaning either he would have to know the exact time of landing and exactly where Phil was or he needed another poison that was less severe.

“Alright, here is what we’re gonna do. I have a chemical mixture that is similar to that of rattlesnake venom. I also have a chemical substance that numbs any pain you may feel. Side effects would include being very very tired and delirious over the next few days. Along with being knocked out for a good ten hours. To put it simply I am gonna fake poison you, in order to get you off the ship. It’s your choice if you’re willing to do it.” Wilbur paused to study the kid still restrained in front of him. It was odd how relaxed the kid seemed to be in a situation like this. He had no urge as far as Wilbur was aware, to fight against anything that happened. His complaints only being those that touched on personal matters. It was unsettling to say the least, and intrigued Wilbur. He really wanted to unravel the life the kid had lived before this and how he was actually dealing with the situation.

There was a long pause before the kid spoke, “I wouldn’t mind getting away from the weird smiley bitch.. plus you seem nice and to know what you’re doing so sure. Poison me bitch.” He said the last sentence with an enthusiasm Wilbur wasn’t expecting. He took a moment to rethink his plan, which was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Dream says you better have advanced in your stupid testing. Otherwise he’s gonna kick you off the ship at the next stop.” Stated the rather rude blazeling, Sapnap. The blazeling never liked Wilbur and made a point to argue against any advancements at meals. That led to Dream installing a new system of emails and Wilbur eating meals alone.

“Yea yea, it’s going!” He yelled through the metal door.

“Better be.” The blazeling snapped before making a non quiet track back to his quarters.

“Stupid blazeling.” Wilbur grumbled as he sorted through vials and picked up new needles and measured out the substances. “We are going to start with the anesthetic then move onto the poison.” He softly addressed Tommy.

Wilbur swiftly disinfected Tommy’s shoulder and gave the needle. He then gave the second needle. Immediately Tommy slumped over. Wilbur swiftly took off Tommy’s restraints and moved him on to the patient bed in the back corner of the room. After the transfer was done he clipped the body restraints around Tommy and waited for the alert signaling landing.

After about five minutes the light next to the door turned blue. He moved over to his seat and clipped on the safety belts. The light turned green and the ship shook momentarily before a thud could be felt. Quickly as Wilbur could, he emptied the needles into the waste bin and waited for his soon-to-be-ex-boss to arrive.

Dream stepped through the door and glanced around the room before heading to Wilbur for his report.

“Report.” The dreamon commanded.

“The subject's body would have gone through a painfully slow death and have multiple organ failures if I did not intervene. The chemical mixes used created a conflict in the patient’s body which resulted in the patient falling into exhaustion as they recovered.” He responded in a monotone tone. Dream looked over Tommy. He flinched back in disgust as Tommy grunted in his sleep.

“Is that all?” The dreamon questioned.

“No.” Wilbur swallowed down his panic, “This is the last testing I will be doing with this crew.” The dreamon scoffed.

“I am assuming you’re getting off at this planet?” Dream spit. Wilbur knew he absolutely hated when people left his crew as he saw it as a direct violation of his loyalty.

“Yes.” The phantom stated, keeping his even tone apparent. With that Dream stormed out cursing in Siestian. Somewhere in the mess of words he told Wilbur to get his things.

Without hesitation he grabbed his bag from his quarters, which was held in a small room that branches off the lab. He half sprinted down the short hallway and straight to the bed Tommy was on. He swiftly unrestrained the human and sat him up. He slipped on boots and gloves then tied a cloak around the kid. He pulled the hood up and carried him off of the closest exit. There were faint yells from Dream down the hallway and reassurances from the only two beings that put up with him. And with that Wilbur was off to find the only craft he had ever called home. The SBI ship.

——————

Chapter 2- End

Words~ 1774

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End Notes: ‘‘twas to lazy to reread... sorry for minor mistakes. Also suggestions are always appreciated!! Please reblog...

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Chapter 3:

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Wilbur:

#my writing #my fanfic tag #wilbur soot #sapnap #dream mcyt #tommy mcyt #dream smp fanfiction #space au

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lamb-leaf · 3 years

Text

I want to make it clear what happened in the simpbot server owned by siliconealien last night that led to ~20 members either leaving voluntarily or being kicked or banned. I feel this is especially pertinent as the original conversation has now been deleted from the server.

The atmosphere in the simpbot server has always been a very us vs them mentality, where you're either on Alien's side, or you become one of the many people kicked for being involved in a conversation about questioning administration.

The following screenshots compiled by multiple members show how this dynamic came to a head last night, with me beginning the conversation to where I wait for her response. After which I am unceremoniously kicked, along with many others.

Not once is my original question ever addressed. And she continuously ignores my specific statements while lobbing vague accusations at me.

I contacted people in the screenshots and asked them how much they wanted to be omitted or censored. The one person i couldn't contact, i censored as a precaution. I'm not omitting the mods or the people who defend alien because i need to make the server atmosphere towards even minor disagreements very apparent.

Everything is presented chronologically, with me showing minor message overlap where possible to show the contiguity of the conversation. All users’ censor colors remain consistent throughout. Black is used for the people who wished to be omitted entirely and anything said specifically about them.

So this started when I found out a server member had been kicked, as simpbot has a bot that announces in the general channel when someone leaves, so that all departures have the server members’ attentions drawn to it. And this was the stated reason in the public mod-logs channel

I disagree heavily with the tone and genuinely wondered what had happened to this person. As the mod-logs are public, I thought it fine to ask about this in another public channel. It's good I did because other people had questions as well

This is alien's response to our inquiries, which still doesn't answer my original question. She also 1) throws accusations at me, and 2) points out that she kept me even though she disliked me as if she was doing me a favor

I responded to her, where I addressed her accusations directly and explained those instances, as not everyone had been there for all the conversations. I don't want her accusing me of things that no one has context for.

And to follow up on the point of context, the screenshot is from me dming her asking about the publicization of the contributors on a project I am running. She clearly says “Everyone had indicated to me”, something that requires contacting everyone. When I asked the contributors, many said they hadn’t been contacted. And I know I speak on it in the screenshot, but I feel it important to reiterate that this was a matter of privacy and safety, and Alien did not receive consent from the contributors before making it public.

She continues to not address anything I say, instead ending with an “I literally do not care about the vocal minority” (20 people left or were removed), and her mod steps in to respond. Again, the screenshot Clearly says “Everyone had indicated to me.” But the mod says “Alien didn’t say she messaged everyone individually”

I have Genuinely no clue what point the mod was trying to make here, but i understand it's a stressful situation moving quickly, so maybe they misunderstood something? And other people also weigh in

I've blacked out the parts that involve someone who requested to be omitted, but I do want to show that alien apologized for an accident. And then goes right back to ignoring my points and then quotes me as saying something I do not remember saying. She also says I was “always welcomed” in the last screenshot

I want to give her time to respond cuz she did say she's exhausted. And so remember how she said I was welcome? These are my last messages in the server. I was kicked some time after this. She never responded to me.

I genuinely don't remember the "sorry" thing from the last screenshot two tweets ago. The only time I say "im sorry for x thing" is in a statement of sympathy. But I have issues with tone and it may have come off rudely. If it did, I'm sorry. But until I have evidence of it, yeah, no I'm not gonna say sorry

Alien has done nothing but make accusations that she doesn't follow up. If there's evidence of the wrongdoing I've done, I want to see it. I'm more than happy to say I fucked up.

But that's something of a rampant issue in simpbot. Everything is based on Alien's word, and her word alone. Her wanting to curate who's in her server is not a big deal on its own.

Her kicking people who disagree with her, drawing attention to it, attaching insulting messages to their departures, removing evidence of people disagreeing with her, surrounding herself with people who defend her based only on her word even when presented with contradictory evidence?

It's all manipulative fearmongering. Server members are afraid to become the Other. And people left cuz they couldn't take it anymore. Or, like me, we were pruned for disagreeing, or even having the most lukewarm agreements that inquiries should be made. The messages above from those not agreeing congruently with Alien were deemed kickable/bannable offenses.

And I have nothing but sympathy for all the people who've been hurt by her behavior or betrayed by those they thought were their friends

And if anyone wasn't there to see what happened, but have had your reservations about the atmosphere in simpbot, you don't have to be afraid of her. You're not alone and there are many people who share your discomfort and a big whole fandom out here to make friends in

#tma discourse #fandom wank

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snowydaffodils · 3 years

Text

Exhilarating

1741 words | 3rd Person POV

Another short fluff - this time with Seventeen's Josh!

Synopsis: Everything was dull and boring, but when she entered the room, she was like a breath of fresh air.

---

Despite the well designed interior and the fancy vases that decorated the room, it didn't push away the feeling of unfamiliarity and solitude that Joshua had felt since he arrived - or at the very least became aware of his surroundings. He didn't feel the isolation as much when he first came, because his vision (and memory) was blurry. He remembered people talking around him, and he remembered being taken from one place to another, but he didn't remember what they were saying exactly, or where they brought him to. When he came to, they told him he collapsed on pre-recording, and they had to immediately bring him to the hospital.

Joshua sighed. While the room was probably one of the most luxurious ones he'd been in, there was an odd unsettling feeling that disturbed him as he lay there, alone. It didn't help that he was wearing hospital clothes instead of his own and also that he was stuck to an IV drip. Just in between the door and floor, he saw shadows that stood tensely beyond his room, and he could guess them as the assigned security for him - just in case one of those sasaengs reached him somehow.

With the window shutters being closed down, it further elongated his feeling of being boxed in, as Vernon would've phrased it. His members were off to another schedule that he later would have to make up for, so nobody would be on the group chat. He would've called his mom to push away the loneliness, but it would have been barely dawn in Los Angeles.

The ceiling, once a comfortable target to place his sights on, slowly grew dull and boring, so he moved to lay sideways instead, facing the door. It was then when he heard noises and steps coming towards his direction, and the shadows under the door moved around for the first time.

His eyes perked up to see who was coming, hoping it would be his manager, or one of the members who finished their schedules early and came to see him. Instead of them, a white coat caught his eyes, the person in it fiddling with the notes she was holding as she entered the room.

"Mr. Hong, right?" she smiled, pulling up her glasses as she approached him. "Hong Jisoo."

The way she called him was cheerful and perky, and it brought a different light to enter the room. It suddenly didn't seem so sullen, and for that, Joshua was happy she entered, whoever she may be.

"Yes?" he managed, as he pulled himself up to sit straight and look at her properly.

"Good morning," she cheered, and he noticed that she was looking directly into his eyes. While he was used to direct eye-contact in America, Koreans tend to deem that action impolite, so he didn't really expected it. Even so, he had always thought of eye contact as an important element in communicating - it shows just how much attention you were getting from the other person. Her eyes seemed bright as he returned the contact, and the mere fact that they were looking into each other's eyes played a huge part in lightening up the room.

"Morning," Joshua replied, trying to smile back as politely as he could, despite the heaviness of his head while keeping his body upright.

"Oh, you shouldn't move too much!" she said upon seeing him. "You were running a high fever, on top of that you were dehydrated and overworked, too. Your temperature went down slightly, but you're still in a feverish range," she said quickly, adjusting the small tube that was connected to his arm.

"I feel better, though," Joshua reasoned, giving the girl a small smile to support his subjective argument. She puffed and blew the little bangs annoying her eyes away and placed her hands on her hips.

"Better doesn't equal good enough," she said, the look in her eyes clearly opposing his attempts to be let go. "Besides, take this opportunity to actually rest, okay? Its a big fancy room with fancy lighting, a TV and good speakers, and we'll get you food in a moment. You can't argue that this is not heaven," she rambled, pointing at his surroundings.

Joshua laughed, he had never met a doctor like this one. "You have a point," he said. "But, do you think you can move me to another room? Preferably with people?"

She blinked. "You want to switch rooms?"

Joshua looked around, there was a nurse standing right behind this doctor girl, and his security guard had stepped inside since the girl entered. They all looked at him weird and obviously against the idea, so he just nodded timidly and sighed.

"Its just that," the girl waited for his response patiently, her hands back on her the edge of his bed and the other on her notes. Joshua continued, unsure of himself as well. "It gets too quiet, and uh, silence gets pretty uncomfortable for me."

She gave him one look and spared a few seconds for her thoughts before she returned him with a reply. "Well, your manager told me its best you're not even seen by anyone at all, for your safety."

Of course he did. Joshua didn't doubt that, and he understood those orders completely, so he just nodded, accepting defeat. Worth a try though.

But she wasn't quite finished. She pulled her phone out of her coat pocket, checked her screen for a while before coming back to him. "I can stay with you and chat if it helps," she grinned. "People call me a chatterbox, so why not put it to good use, right?"

"Are you not busy?" Joshua asked, pretty set aback by her suggestion, but was not against it.

She shook her head, swaying her bangs left and right before giving him a reassuring smile. "Not if nobody's calling for me. You're actually free to go after this drip," she points at the hanging liquid with the notes on her hand, "All you have to do is wait for your manager to pick you up. After all, your fever did go down, and we'll give you acetaminophens to take. What you really need is food and rest."

While the rest of the people in the room looked at her weirdly at her offer to be a chatterbox, she paid no mind to it and grabbed herself a chair to sit on by Joshua's bed. Joshua, on the other hand, just nodded numbly, unsure of what kind of reaction he should give, or what words to say. He had no reason to refuse, though, so he said nothing.

"You guys can go," she dismissed the nurses who followed immediately, and the security guard simply eyed her for a few seconds before returning to his post. She was the assigned doctor, after all, he couldn't (and shouldn't) restrict her from her patient.

Once they all left, Joshua blurted the question that had been sitting on the tip of his tongue. "So, do you stay to chat with all the patients you meet?"

She settled in her seat and gave him an ambiguous smile - one Joshua understood to not be completely genuine, but wasn't fake either. "Just the ones that seem particularly lonely."

"And," Joshua paused, picking his words carefully. "You don't have other lonely patients?"

She chuckled. Pressing her fist on her cheeks, she rephrased his question for him, "You mean why aren't I busy treating other patients?" The question stunned him for a while. He didn't expect her to be that direct, especially to her patient; but to be honest, he didn't mind it one bit.

Usually, when this kind of situation happened - where a conversation turned too straightforward for him to handle, Joshua would've chuckled awkwardly and politely, and just nodded or something to move on from the discomfort. But this time, he didn't know if it was because his head was still revolving, or if it was because he'd spent too much time with Jeonghan, but he didn't take the polite route and just directly returned her question with another one. He simply nodded. "Yeah, sure, if you care to tell?"

The response wasn't one she was used to receiving, so she was a bit flustered at the blunt exchange for a few seconds. "Huh," she huffed, but smiled. "I guess I'm assigned to do the extra stuff. Nobody wants to talk to patients and their guardians if its nothing medical related. Doctors are awkward that way. They prefer to research, write papers, and explore surgeries. And so they pushed me here," she gestured to the room around her. "To the VIP wards."

Before Joshua could take offense into her words, she disclaimed, "Not that you're 'extra stuff', but you must understand that some VIP patients can be," she gave him an awry grin, one that was indicating something negative, as she searched for the right word. She didn't seem to find one, but eventually settled with the description: "Exhilarating," which she worded with a shoulder shrug, indicating that it wasn't the correct word at all.

Joshua just laughed at her antics, wondering if the medical dramas about VIP patients actually happen in real life that she would describe them that way. "Would you say I'm - well - exhilarating, then?"

At this point, her smile was no longer ambiguous. Looking like she was in deep thought, she answered, "You're a different kind of exhilarating." Her dimples further accentuated the honesty in her smile. "I mean, obviously, you're well aware that you have got the looks," she reasoned, not at all embarrassed to compliment him, which was different for a change - but a good different.

"That I do," Joshua grinned. He was an idol, after all, he should be confident in his visuals.

"And you're young - not many VIPs are as young," she continued, still thinking of more answers. "And most people would've reprimanded me for speaking so casually and bluntly to a patient about her work. They'd say I was rude."

Joshua snickered. "Should I, then? Reprimand you, I mean?"

Her eyes rounded at his statement, and then she suddenly clasped her hands together and bowed her head. "I would reaaally, reaaaally appreciate it if you don't."

He laughed. This girl is really something.

"What was your name, again? Can I call you by name?" Joshua asked, visibly more comfortable.

And she returned him with another ambiguous smile.

---

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erin-bo-berin · 4 years

Text

Riot

MASTERLIST

Surprise, I’m back guys with more fics! I was so happy when I finally was in the right mood and headspace to get some writiing done, I had missed it dearly. I also missed being able to share my work with you guys. This was an older request by @theitcaramelchick for the reader to meet Spencer at a sort of animal activist event. I apologize for it taking me so long to post, but I spent a little extra time perfecting this one than most. Happy reading!

Spencer Reid/Reader

Word Count: 1,885

Rating: G (fluff)

Spencer grumbled as the SUV pulled closer to the crowd of people.

He thought of the earlier conversation he’d had with Emily Prentiss, his supervisor and boss, the unit chief of the BAU.

Now, when it came to the BAU, you’d automatically think the team would always work on cases involving serial killers, profiling them, planning take downs, saving lives. This current assignment he had wasn’t part of his credentials.

“Emily, I should be here to help out with the case,” he pleaded.

“And you will be.”

“But why do I have to do this when you need me here?”

Emily gave him a look.

“Spence, it’s really not that big of a deal.”

“We catch serial killers, not supervise protests.”

“It’s not supervising. You’re just there to keep the peace. Besides, Anderson was going to do it but his wife just went into labor so I obviously can’t send him.”

Spencer had to bite back the groan he felt like releasing.

“All you have to do is just make sure no one is harmed, no crime is committed and that it remains peaceful on both sides,” Emily instructed, “It shows that the FBI cares about matters like these and has an interest in all parties’ safety. It will take a few hours, tops.”

He sighed heavily.

“Okay, I’ll do it.”

“Thanks,” she grinned, patting his arm, “See you soon.”

That was how he was roped into “supervising” this protest.

Spencer had no idea what it was for, but when the SUV pulled into the parking lot of an abandoned looking building all he saw was a lot of chaos.

Well, this would be fun.

•

“Okay everyone back up!”

Spencer grimaced as he attempted to make his way through the throng of people.

Shouts from officers rang in his ears as did the protesting voices from the crowd. If only he could get closer to see what was actually going on, he might be of more use.

He finally made it to the front of the crowd where one, aggressive police officer was tightly gripping the arm of a girl. He couldn’t see the rest of the girl other than the arm that was bright red where the officer’s hand was clasped.

“Hey, hey!” he rushed forward, “There’s no need to be so hostile,” he told the burly cop.

The man narrowed his eyes at Spencer, scrutinizing him.

“Who are you?”

Spencer pulled out his badge, showing him.

“SSA Spencer Reid from the FBI. You know, the Federal Bureau of Investigation? You might have heard of us.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw the woman’s eyes widen at his statement.

“What’s the feds doing here?”

“To help keep the peace. Which you definitely don’t seem to be doing. Do I need to make a report to your superiors,” he squinted at the man’s name tag, “Officer Graham?”

A sour look crossed his face.

“No. You can take it from here, agent.”

The man all but stomped away leaving Spencer alone with the woman.

“I’m sorry about that ma’am, he had no right to-” he froze, mid-sentence, when he turned towards the woman.

She was wrapped with chains like prisoners he’d seen put away. But instead of them restraining the criminals, these chains connected her to something.

She was chained to the building behind her.

He was quite literally standing in front of a woman who had chained herself to a building.

A quite attractive woman, at that.

•

You peered dubiously at the agent as he stared at you, mouth hanging open.

“You trying to catch some flies in that venus flytrap of yours?” you asked.

He closed his mouth quickly, snapping out of it.

“Uh, why was he rough handling you?”

“Maybe because I happen to be chained to a building.”

“Yeah, that’d make a lot of sense,” he mumbled, his gaze still lingering over your restraints.

He still looked like he couldn’t believe what was happening. You suppressed the urge to roll your eyes.

“Um,” he licked his lips, his eyes squinting at you a tiny bit, “Why exactly are you chained to a building?”

You sighed.

“You wouldn’t understand. Anyway, I’m fine. You can go now.”

“Try me,” he challenged, folding his arms.

In truth, Spencer was intrigued.

“I don’t want them to tear down this animal shelter. The city wants to tear it down to build apartments here.”

“And that’s bad?” Spencer asked, quirking an eyebrow.

You huffed, annoyed.

“Yes. It is. I told you that you wouldn’t understand. Anyway, the officer was trying to forcefully remove me and stop the protest now that the contractors decided to save the building, but I can’t move.”

“Why not?”

“I might’ve accidentally lost the key to the padlock and I can’t get out. Officer Graham thought I was lying just to be a nuisance, but I’m actually stuck.”

“Well…” Spencer paused, holding back a smile, “I have to say at least you’re dedicated.”

“I’m pretty proud of it if I do say so myself,” you chuckled a bit.

“Hey, um, would you like me to help though? I could get someone here faster than anyone else here could.”

“Yes, please. I really don’t want to spend the night stuck here.”

“One second.”

Spencer excused himself, dialing a familiar phone number.

“Hey Spence, how’s it going?” Emily asked from the other side of the phone.

“It’s going. Do you know if Rossi still has that pair of bolt cutters in his car?”

“Uh...I’m not sure? Why?”

“It’s a long story. If he does, can you ask him if he’d mind running them out here to me?”

“Sure.”

He can hear Emily’s hesitation and he assured her everything was fine and that he’d explain later.

The girl was glaring and hollering at someone when he returned.

“What was that about?”

“Oh just some people who think animal activists are scum. They’re just mad the city responded to us and decided to keep the shelter open.”

“Tell me, why this place? Not to be rude, but it’s pretty worn down.”

He braced himself for the girl to yell at him for saying such a thing, but it didn’t happen. In fact, you just looked sad.

“I used to volunteer here. I still help out every now and then, but it is getting pretty run down. I wanted to save it because I want to help restore it. Whether it’s raising money to help restore it or actually physically helping with it, I wanted to be a part of it. This shelter has helped so many abandoned animals. Cats, dogs, bunnies. It was such a rewarding feeling taking care of them and seeing them being adopted out to a good family. I want it to stay here.”

“Wow,” he said, moved by your dedication to the shelter, “That’s amazing.”

“I guess,” you shrugged, “Most people find us irritating or a nuisance.”

The crowd of protesters had begun to thin, leaving a far less amount of people then there had been when he’d arrived.

“If it helps any, I don’t think that’s true. I think it’s brave what you and your friends did. Plus you won the battle. I mean you even chained yourself to a building.”

You broke into a grin, laughing.

“You’re still not over that, are you?”

“It’s gonna take a while,” he chuckled.

“So, are you really an FBI agent or did you just say that to annoy officer Graham?”

“I actually am.”

“Jeez, you think what I do is brave,” you mumbled.

“It’s not all that bad,” he said, “Okay, maybe it is.”

You gave him a knowing look and he broke into a smile. It was a rather gorgeous smile at that, showing off a row of perfectly straight, white teeth. You couldn’t remember the last time you met a guy with such a genuine, contagious smile.

“So how did the FBI get roped into appearing at a riot?”

“That’s a long story.”

You looked down at the chain around your waist, then back up at him.

“Well I’m not exactly going anywhere and I’ve got time.”

Your statement dripped with sarcasm and it made him laugh again. You couldn’t help but smile at it. He had a nice laugh as well. You suddenly had the irrational urge to make him laugh again.

He didn’t argue any further though and dove into the story.

He had just finished it up when an older gentleman came running up to the guy that you’d been talking to for the last half hour

“He’s with you I’m guessing?” you nodded towards the other man.

The second man eyed you curiously before turning back to the agent you’d been bonding with.

“Should I even ask, Reid?”

“Uh, I’ll explain later Rossi. Thanks for bringing the bolt cutters.”

He took them and you tried to suppress a grin when you noticed him give the other agent a shooing motion, as if trying to get him to leave. You acted like you didn’t notice though, even though you heard the salt and pepper man mutter something to him.

“Details later, huh?”

With a quick look that you sure meant for him to scram, he turned back to you, the other man walking away from the two of you.

It took a few good hard squeezes of the bolt cutters to finally break the chain, but it finally gave way. You were pretty sure you’d never take advantage of freedom ever again.

“Thanks,” you said, stepping away from the tangle of the chains, briefly losing your balance.

His hand was on your arm, steadying you.

“So, um. Thank you for everything today,” you smiled slightly, “Especially for listening. Not many people bother to do that.”

“You’re welcome. I enjoyed it, oddly. But I never got your name.”

“Y/N.”

“Spencer,” he smiled at you.

“Well thank you again, Spencer.”

You turned to grab your things that you’d set aside earlier in the day. Picking them up, you turned to head for your car when he stopped you.

“Wait!”

You looked back over your shoulder, curiously.

“Would it be okay if I, uh, take you out some time? Maybe we can talk more about you wanting to help the shelter. If you want to, that is.”

You shouldered your backpack that’d been in your hands and turned to fully face him.

“I’d love to.”

He smiled, holding out a hand for your backpack.

“I can carry those to your car, if you need help.”

You obliged, picking up the rest of the signs and posters you’d created for people to hold today. It was a good feeling knowing that these signs had been put to good use and helped you and your friends save the shelter. Not only had that occurred, but you had met Spencer as well.

“You know you remind me a lot of a friend of mine,” he stated as the two of you walked towards your car.

“Oh? Is that a good thing?”

“Definitely. I have a feeling she’d love you and love to help you with your cause, if you don’t mind some extra hands occasionally.”

“Never can get enough of those,” you replied, earnestly.

“Good because I can’t wait to introduce you to the outstanding Penelope Garcia.”

Tag List: @dreatine @reid-187 @groovyreid @reidslibra @suvikamahes98blr @fuckthealarm @whatspunispun @iamburdened @cindywayne @thomasfoockinshelby @tinyminy88 @theitcaramelchick @missprettyboy @hushlilbabydoll @sammy-jo1977 @theonlyone-meeeee @haileymorelikestupid @lemonypink @multifandommandy

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barnesbabee · 4 years

Text

Edge Of Glory || C.J

Pairing: Choi Jongho x Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst

Words: Idk but from the top of my head I’d bet on 3126 words

Pieces of lyrics from the song are written in bold

⚠ drug abuse, mentions of physical/psychological abuse (not from the idol), mentions of death and suicide, dystopian!au ⚠

Warning: There are disturbing/ scenes described. Read at your own risk.

ᴀᴛᴇᴇᴢ x ʟᴀᴅʏ ɢᴀɢᴀ ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇᴘᴛ ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ || ᴘ4

ʙᴀꜱᴇᴅ ᴏꜰꜰ ᴇᴅɢᴇ ᴏꜰ ɢʟᴏʀʏ ᴍᴠ

A worldwide pandemic took all nations by surprise, one worse than any century had ever experienced, one that all safety precautions, medicine and technology couldn’t fight. It came down onto the whole world like a train and the population decreased greatly, along with all of the resources.

Hazmats became the trending fashion and hospitals became the new hotels. Everything was at max capacity, and the bodies of deceased people piled up on the streets. Pale corpses that looked like they had been drained of all of their blood laid against the walls, on top of each other, or sprawled on the road. It was every man for themselves, and chaos dominated.

You were a little relieved, however. Your parents wouldn’t allow you to leave the house for safety, but every time you looked out of the window every deceased person seemed to be of age, more specifically, a mature adult. Mostly people from their thirties on.

Maybe it didn’t affect younger people? Maybe their immune system was good enough to fight the disease?

You had many doubts, but not enough answers. No one had answers, and suddenly everyone had a God. When nurses and doctors fled, when the news disappeared and it all stopped being transmitted, everyone started praying, ironically.

Your parents were jittery and nervous all the time, but that was a normal reaction, they had seen and experienced the outside world. You felt safe in their presence, although seeing them come in the house in the yellow suits kind of scared you.

Months were spent in this routine, and all seemed normal (within the limits). One day, however, you were woken up by loud banging on the front door. You immediately stood up from bed, a little dizzy from the sudden movement, and wobbled over to your door. You pressed your ear against the wooden door to hear whatever went on downstairs. You had never gotten visitors…

You heard the downstairs door creak open and a male, harsh, demanding voice spoke.

“Any kids in?” He simply asked.

“N-no, Sir. We’ve never been able to have kids.”

You frowned at the shaky voice. They did have a kid though...

The nervousness in your mom’s voice, the violent man’s tone, and the lie immediately raised a red flag for you. You became uncertain and shaky. Who was he!?

You prepared for the worst. You shoved a couple things in a backpack, the absolute necessary, and opened your bedroom’s window as quietly as possible. You looked down at the previously green grass outside. It was far. If you had to jump you were gonna hurt yourself, so you just prayed that they’d leave.

“Surely you wouldn’t mind us looking around then?”

Your eyes widened, and you immediately took this as your cue. You put on the black gas mask your parents had given you in case of emergency and sat by the window pane.

“What? B-but I told you we don’t have-”

“Ma’am please step off or you’ll be taken.” He rudely interrupted your mother.

You heard heavy footsteps echo throughout the house, and without a second thought jumped off. You pursed your lips together to prevent the scream from escaping past your lips as you landed on your side, on top of a couple of rocks.

You got up as quickly as you fell down and ran. You ran as fast as you could, always holding your aching side.

You had no idea where you were wandering, you had no idea what was safe or not, and you had no idea what was happening, but you ran anyways.

It had been four days. You had seen some people running around and looting stores, you had seen some people in suits patrolling, and you had seen huge tanks taking over the city. You always felt the floor shake when one of them approached, so it was easy to hide. You wondered what they were for, but then again your imagination had run short.

You hadn’t found a place you deemed safe yet. You’d sleep in hidden street corners and stolen from beaten-up shops to survive, but you were becoming tired and desperate. Hope died very quickly in a place like that, and every morning it was hard not to give up.

After the longest days of your life, you decided to risk it. You went into the only part in town you hadn’t scavaged. It was previously known for illegal activity and for being generally very shady. Strangely, it was the most familiar part of town. It was dark, cold and scary, just like before.

You walked warily, looking the torn-apart buildings 'from head to toe’. Most of them were locked up, or too damaged to even enter, but a particular building caught your attention. The windows were sealed, but the door had a chain that had been broken. You approached it and carefully removed the chain. The metal door creaked against the floor and made an ugly noise. You closed it just as slowly and carefully inspected the bottom floor with the poor flashlight you had found in a hardware store.

It was clean.

You moved upwards, and all of the floors were clear of corpses. A sense happiness and relief washed over you, as you might had just found a place to stick around in.

As you reached the floor just below the rooftop, your eyes glistened and your face lit up.

A mattress with a couple of blankets laid against the wall. There were unopened cans of food organized near the window, that gave you a perfect view of the safe and unsafe areas. As you were about to inspect the food and the expire date on them, someone spoke behind you.

“Hello?”

You jumped at the voice. You spun around quickly and held the turned-off flashlight close to your chest. Your eyes were widened and you were frozen in place. The male in front of you, on the other hand, was relaxed yet confused.

He had a long dark fringe covering his eyes, and his skin was very pale.

“W-who are you?” You asked, trying your best not to stutter out the whole sentence.

The man looked at you as if you were stupid.

“I’m the person living here?... The owner of this five-star suite, actually.”

Your face fell a little at his statement and he chuckled.

“What? Did you think you had hit the jackpot and just found a perfect place waiting for you?”

You averted your gaze and blushed slightly in embarrassment at how stupid your thoughts sounded when said out loud. Neither of you said anything. You could immediately tell that there was a big contrast between your personalities: while you stood there, stiff and nervous, he was relaxed and staring at you with a mocking glare. You were a little confused as to why the male wasn’t freaking out over a random person walking in where he lived and trying to claim it. It was suspicious…

The man looked at the mattress on the floor, then at the cans.

“Wanna share?”

You were taken aback by the question. Why would he willingly share what he had? Why would he willingly spare half of the very scarce resources he possessed?

“Why?” You quietly asked.

The man understood your confusion, most people would shoo others away and refuse to even let them come close to whatever they had gathered.

He walked over to the mattress and sat down with a groan. The stranger took a very poorly joint up to his mouth and took a hit, then puffing out the smoke and creating a small cloud between the two of you. He opened his mouth to say something but was immediately cut off.

“We’re in the middle of an apocalypse and you’re getting high!?”

It wasn’t like you to stress over something so little, but the near-death experiences, the fear and all the running away had transformed you into a shell of your former self.

“It’s… It’s not an apocalypse.”

You furrowed your brows and cocked your head. How would he know what all this was anyway?

“Well it’s kinda- Can you fucking sit down or something you’re stressing me out, standing there holding that flashlight like I’m gonna try to murder you.”

The statement stole a chuckle out of you and you sat down on the floor in front of him.

“To put it shortly, this pandemic is a war gone wrong.”

There was a long silence, as he let you process the tiny bit of the puzzle he had just told you. It was understandable that you didn’t know what was going on, no one really did know but the ones that had been exposed to the government’s horrors.

“This… virus. It wasn’t someone’s carelessness or a lab security breach, it was a biological war that went to shit. A country unbeknownst to everyone apparently sent out a virus to wipe out Japan and Korea, it was speculated inside the borders that it was because of the lucrative rise and some countries were losing their economic powers over a lot of major cities. But it spiraled out of control and everyone is slowly dying. It’s much worse than anything anyone had ever seen, and in a panic, the government started doing what they call ‘recruitment of the younger generation’. Don’t let the name fool you, we were taken against our will…”

“We? You were there?”

Jongho sighed, his voice dropped considerably and suddenly the weed tasted odd. He threw away the joint and rested his head against the wall. Guilt and shame filled his body, and he wasn’t able to look you in the eye as he explained what went on in the place he had been confined in.

“I was… taken. From the house I was in. They take only young people who are healthy and capable. No disabilities inside those walls, only the ones they deem good enough to procreate and rebuild our country. We… We are forced to work, they do tests on us, they treat us like lab rats and the boys… The boys are forced to impregnate girls.” His voice cracked at that, clearly hitting a deep scar. His chest began to rise and fall quickly.

You became suddenly sad and worried for the stranger. Your face contorted in a pitiful look and you approached him, patting his thigh for him to know he had your support.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to tell any more…”

The male glanced at the joint he had thrown away and regretted doing so. He really wished he had something that made the conversation easier.

“No, the more people know, the easier it will be to destroy this whole shit. Letting the world die is better than what they’re doing to us. I was… forced to make girls pregnant. I- I don’t even know their names. I don’t even know who they are, they push you into a room and they watch you, to make sure you do things right. When people refuse to do so, there’s a punishment. But I was always too scared of it so I just followed the rules. In a couple of months I’ll have… I’ll have a children in there. A son, who knows maybe a daughter… And they’ll be forced to do exactly what I ran away from. Fuck I’m a monster!”

The male hit his head against the wall, hard. His eyes were tightly shut (certainly not hurt from the bang against the wall, but from something much deeper) and tears threatened to fall.

The psychological side clearly was much worse than any physical work they were forced to do.

“Hey, hey it’s okay. You didn’t do that because you wanted to, right? You did it because you were forced. If those kids are as smart as you surely they’ll get out too.”

He scoffed and turned his head to look at you.

“I got out because I was lucky. I was done with life, I didn’t want to be there anymore. But because the suicide rate was crazy high inside those walls everyone was always watching. I knew a guy though, he managed to pass around drugs and my plan was to overdose… But when the time came I always pussied out. As time went by and I kept consuming I became thinner, paler, weaker… I looked like I was about to die and they didn’t understand why, but at some point they stopped wanting me there, they deemed I was unfit. They cut off my food and water, they left me to die in a room. I was lucky because I passed out. They thought I was dead and threw me over the border. I woke up in a pile of dead bodies, bathing in blood, dirt, puke, and God knows what else. I could barely move, but I dragged myself out of the corpses and tried to survive the best I could.”

You couldn’t believe your ears. You wanted to say something, but what was there to be said? ‘It’s going to be okay’? You both knew it was a lie… There was nothing to be said and all you could do was greet his lengthy life-story of the past couple months with silence.

“That’s why I smoke weed. Y’know… kinda takes me out and makes me forget everything’s gone to shit, drowns out the worst in my head.”

You nodded, a little uncomfortable yet understanding his position.

Luckily, Jongho who had been through Hell and come back, was great at shooing away the awkwardness.

“Now that you know about my kids, I’m Jongho by the way.”

“I-I’m Y/N.” You introduced yourself, a little shocked at the way he was fine with joking about it.

“Well Y/N, buckle up. We’re in a warzone now, it’s the end of the world. There ain’t a reason you and me should be alone.”

You and Jongho sat at the top of the building. The sun was going down and you sat on his lap. His arms were around your body, holding your hands as he tried to teach you how to properly roll the thin paper.

“Y/N! We don’t have infinite weed! Stop messing this up!”

“I- Are you joking, Jongho!? You pushed this mess onto my hands because you wanted to have a reason to have me on your lap!”

You stood up (faking anger toward him) and walked up to the edge of the building, dancing and prancing around.

Jongho laughed at your cuteness and threw away the very much ruined romantic joint he tried to do with you. He walked over to you and placed his hands on your hips.

“I won’t get high tonight but at least I was happy.”

You looked at him, surprised at the sweet comment. The sunlight gave his skin a golden tone and the slight wind blew his hair back. He smiled at the big eyes you were giving him, and chuckled upon realizing how little it had taken to make you speechless.

“What?” He asked, as you wouldn’t stop staring.

You giggled and placed your hands on his biceps, subconsciously playing with them.

“Nothing it’s just… I didn’t know you could be cute.”

Jongho faked a shocked expression, never breaking eye contact.

“Excuse me! I can be adorable!”

You scoffed and slapped his chest.

“You’ve been cute to me like, two times.”

“Two?” He asked, not remembering what the first had been.

Your eyes drifted away and you blushed slightly.

“Well, you let me stay with you… That was really sweet, thank you.”

Jongho lifted your chin with his index finger, making you look at him.

“And I’m glad I did.”

There was a small, comfortable silence before you spoke.

“Why is that?”

You were eager for the answer. Jongho was unpredictable, you never knew what to expect of him, so you looked deep into his eyes as you awaited a response.

Jongho looked away, before looking back at you and pressing his lips against yours, for a kiss that lasted no longer than a second.

“Because I like you.”

It was incredulous. You expected him to say that, but it was so… unexpected. You opened your mouth to speak, but he cut you off as per usual.

“And I know, I know it’s been like two weeks, but it’s hard not to fall for someone like you once you spend every second of every day with them.”

You blushed slightly and hit his chest.

“Plus, you’re one of the most beautiful women out there.” He said as he caressed your cheek lovingly.

“Jongho, who knew you could be so sweet…”

“I know, right? But then again, everyone is dying and there’s like, a dozen women out there so you don’t have much competition.”

You two laughed, and before you could hit him, Jongho ran away and ran downstairs. Once you found him, you tackled him onto the mattress, but of course he won over you, and began tickling you all over. He’d only stop when you begged and were almost crying.

You looked into each other’s eyes. The dim light coming from the windows setting a lewd mood. Once you had regained your breath, you grabbed the back of his head and kissed him. The kiss lasted a little longer than the previous one, slightly losing its innocence.

You had never gone beyond kissing with anybody, so you were surprised at yourself when you deepened the kiss and rolled your hips against his, you didn’t hate it however. You wanted to continue. The world was ending and you were making out with the hottest man you’d ever been with on a mattress, so if there was a perfect timing, that was it.

You moaned onto the kiss, signaling that you wanted more, but Jongho pulled away rapidly and looked away, a little embarrassed.

“Jongho? Did I do something wrong I-I’m sorry I had never done that before and I-”

“You were fine Y/N, don’t worry… It’s just that. Those things I did… Those girls, it wasn’t that long ago. I don’t think I’m comfortable, I’m sorry, love.”

You felt bad for making him feel like he had to apologize for his feelings. You started to panic, but you had to calm yourself down in order to make Jongho feel comfortable.

You placed a hand on his cheek and kissed his forehead.

“It’s okay Jongho, I don’t mind waiting. I’ll wait for you a million years, even when we’re both old and looking like raisins, I promise I’ll still want you.”

The male giggled, showing the gummy smile you loved oh so much, and buried his face in the crook of your neck.

“I got so lucky… You’re all I need.”

You woke up with Jongho shaking you and calling for your name. You immediately shot awake and sat on the mattress you called a bed.

Your boyfriend threw his heavy mask onto a corner, grabbed both of your cheeks and kissed you passionately. His eyes were teary and puffy. His whole face was red and his coal-coloured hair was stuck to his forehead. You furrowed at the way his hands were shaking as he held you.

“Jongho?” You asked, a little nervous.

“Yes, darling?” He questioned.

His voice was as shaky as his hands, and anxiety started building up in the pit of his stomach.

“What’s wrong?”

His jittery eyes took in all of your features before smiling nervously.

“Nothing baby!”

He kissed your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, and finished up with a long kiss on your lips.

Suddenly, the ground shook. Once, twice… Jongho tried to block the window with his broad back, but you could still see the shiny, shooting star-like object coming down from the sky and colliding with the ground. A loud sound echoed in the air and the ground shook once more before you saw a mushroom-like explosion in the distance.

You couldn’t hold back the tears as panic immediately enveloped you.

“J-Jongho what- what’s going on!?” You asked, your voice rising for the first time in months.

Your boyfriend looked at you with teary eyes and held your face in a way that you couldn’t look at the window.

“Nothing, doll. Everything is fine, we’re gonna be okay.”

Jongho hugged you tightly. You quickly wrapped your arms around him and held him as close as possible, as your brain put two and two together.

The two of you pulled away and looked into each other’s eyes.

“I love you.” He whispered.

And, before you could reply, he pressed his lips to yours, in what you both knew to be your last kiss. So you didn’t pull away. And when the sky fell down, and when the blasting got closer to you, you still didn’t pull away.

And so when everything went black, neither of you noticed, because your eyes were still closed, and you were still holding each other as if the world wasn’t ending, and you were the only thins that mattered to each other.

Your forever wasn’t long, but as you held each other and tears streamed down your faces, you knew that it had been a good forever.

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imaginepirates · 4 years

Text

New York

Another modern au, but this time, the whole crew shows up.....and they show up in New York, a hub of modern technology and culture. Aided by your friend, you help them acclimate to life in modern times. As if that wasn’t enough, the crew tries to set you up with James, who is, admittedly, one of your fictional crushes. For @shadowsingeraxolotl

@emdrabbles @tesserphantom @paljonkaikenlaista @viper-official @wordsinwinters @groovyfluxie

~3350 words

~~~~~~~

New York was a hub of activity, people flitting about from place to place in the early evening light. The diversity between people was staggering; hipsters walked on their way between stores, the well-dressed made their way to music halls and theaters, tourists took pictures of everything in sight, and tired-looking students drank their weight in coffee at each Starbucks.

You, however, were just going home. You’d spent the day on Manhattan’s waterfront, and you looked forward to coming back to tour the middle of the city later. You lived in Brooklyn, and spent some of your free time exploring the various sections of NYC. No matter how long a person lived in New York City, there was always more to see.

You passed a small group of people who looked to be dressed in costumes. They looked like they’d come straight out of a history book. Each of them were staring up and around at the surrounding skyscrapers with wide eyes, and you wondered if it was part of the act. One noticed your curiosity and beckoned you over.

“Could you tell us where we are, love?” He asked. Dreadlocks hung to his shoulders, and he had on a costume like a pirate. In fact, he quite looked like Johnny Depp, and you wondered if there was a production of Pirates of the Caribbean going on nearby.

Wouldn’t have missed that for the world, you thought. How did I not see any advertising? “Why, you’re in New York.” You played along, though you felt a bit shy around the strangers.

“New York?” Another man sputtered. He stood just behind you, and you turned to see a man in naval uniform.

You smiled to yourself. The stricken expression on the man’s face was quite convincing. A good actor, I bet. Then you looked him over again, and you were sure all the color drained from your face, because he was the spitting image of James Norrington. Did I eat something, or am I just dreaming?

“Wonderful.” This came from a girl standing next to you, and you turned to see a girl who looked exactly like Elizabeth Swann. She was staring with wonder up at all the big buildings, eyes shining.

And Elizabeth would like it, too. There was another, and you knew before looking that it was going to be Will Turner. He looked awkward, looking around with clear anxiety in his eyes.

You swallowed. “You must be lost.” You could feel your own anxiety skyrocketing. This is insane. I’m insane. This can’t be real. Instead of saying any of that, though, you said, “Do you need a place to stay?”

“That would be wonderful, love.” As calm as he was trying to sound, there was some tension in Jack’s voice. You couldn’t blame him.

“We can get an Uber. Or two. Or….” It might just be best if I called a friend. No driver could take five people in the small cars Uber drivers usually had, and they certainly wouldn’t fit in a taxi. “I’ll just call a friend.”

It felt odd, standing there, in the middle of the street, with a bunch of strangers dressed in eighteenth century garb, waiting for your friend to show up. They had a van, and you could count on it to fit everyone.

You had to wait a long time. Traffic in Manhattan was something else; the crush of cabs, busses, and cars made driving through the area a nightmare. You tried quietly convincing your new companions not to stare at things. The statement went both ways. You wanted to gape at the little group, but you knew it was rude. Still, they literally came right out of a story. I think that warrants for staring a little.

In your peripheral vision, you could just see Norrington’s coat sleeve. Norrington. A man that you’d had a crush on since you’d first watched the series. You could feel yourself fidgeting in embarrassment, wanting nothing more than to retreat to the safety of home. Then it struck you: I’m going to have all these people in my house. The one place where I can retreat from people. You sighed. This’ll resolve itself. It has to. Right?

Finally, your friend arrived. They pulled up to the curb, the window to the driver’s side rolling down. “You owe me, fam.” Your friend called out. “What was so import—oh.” They stared at the little gathering.

You ushered the group into the van, instructing them on how to properly use seatbelts. You hopped in the passenger’s seat, looking over to your friend with what you knew were dazed eyes. “Yeah,” you said. “I owe you.”

There was a collective gasp as the van drove off. You could hear dull thuds from where the characters had thrown out their hands. Elizabeth, at least, was smiling. You could see her in the rearview mirror, her face pressed up against the van’s tinted windows, fingers splayed against the glass. Clearly, she was enraptured. James, on the other hand, had drained of color. You felt badly for him. This definitely wasn’t what he’d signed up for upon entering the Navy.

You pulled into the parking lot of your apartment, ushering everyone inside. The less people saw of your visitors, the better. You had them gather in your small living room while you pulled your friend aside into the bathroom.

“I just found them on the street,” you explained. “And you can see them too, which means I’m not insane.”

“Yeah….Still not sure what we should do with them. Should we turn them in to the police or something?”

Somehow, the thought didn’t seem right. “The police will probably try to put them in a psych ward.”

“You might be right on that one.” Your friend sighed. “I don’t know where you plan to keep them. This isn’t the roomiest of places.”

“It’ll have to do.” You shrugged. “And thanks. For helping me out. For going along with all this.”

They smiled. “I don’t think I have a choice.”

You stepped back out into the living room to see four expectant faces staring back at you. You had to explain a lot to them, and the task was daunting. You didn’t even know where to start. “I’m guessing that you’re all a little confused,” you began.

“That’s an understatement, mate.” Jack picked his way across the room, looking at your furniture, electronics, and decorations. He poked and prodded at a few things, making the ridiculous facial expressions he was famous for.

“As I told you earlier,” you continued, “you’re in New York City.”

“This certainly isn’t how I remember the Colonies.” Norrington looked around the small room, a frown in place.

“And I’ve seen some strange things, love, but this can’t be New York,” Jack added.

“Well….you also happen to be….” Even the thought of it sounded ridiculous. Welcome to the twenty-first century! Here are three hundred years worth of war, politics, culture, and technology to catch up on! “You’re also a couple hundred years in the future.” You watched worriedly for their response, but all you got were four sets of eyes.

“A couple?” Norrington was white as a sheet.

“Three, I think.”

“Three.”

You all stared at each other, including your friend, who looked around the room with concern. It was at this moment that Will flipped the lightswitch, causing everything to go dark. There were exclamations from the four pirates. Pirates. Probably shouldn’t bring that up. For all I know, Jack is still the only true pirate here, and the rest hadn’t fallen in yet before they got here. Suddenly, Will flipped the switch again, and your eyes had to adjust back to the light. The panic subsided—for the moment.

“Electricity,” you explained. “We don’t use candles anymore.”

“Convenient.” This came from Will, who was squinting at a lightbulb.

“Yeah. Might not want to stare at that, though.” Will nodded at your suggestion, but kept glancing back at it as if it would suddenly change.

At some point, Norrington must have regained his composure, despite the slight pinch he gave the bridge of his nose. You expected that it was a common gesture for him, what with his line of work. “You must be overwhelmed, having us here. You’ve been very kind to take us in. If you can think of anything you might need help with, we’d be happy to help you.” He gave a sharp look to each of his companions and an awkward smile to you.

You nodded, indeed feeling quite overwhelmed. The realization that you’d have to keep them in your apartment and feed them did nothing to help. You eventually figured out sleeping arrangements, though you felt badly about the lack of space. Elizabeth would share your bed with you, and the boys would take the living room. Your friend left to find suitable clothes for everyone, and you thanked them profusely.

You woke up early the next morning, full of stress. You padded softly through the living room into the kitchen, trying not to wake anybody, looking for food to make everyone. James stirred as you passed him. He was laying on the couch, though it was too small for him, and his feet were dangling over the edge. He shifted, yawning a little and stretching out. He’d doffed his wig and hat, leaving his hair to poke out at all angles. You found it adorable. He looked up at you with tired eyes, and you looked back with what you knew was equally messy hair.

“Morning,” you whispered.

“Good morning.” He gave you a small, soft smile and stood up from the couch. “Can I help you with anything?”

“Do you know how to make crepes?”

“Unfortunately not.” He looked a little awkward, but it was clear he wanted to help.

“You can help me fill them.” You gave him what you hoped was a reassuring smile, and he followed you into the kitchen.

It was strange, to have company in a kitchen that usually only held you. It was nice, too. James was a welcome presence, spreading jams, peanut butter, and nutella across the crepes you made. You gave him some ham to add to them, too, in case someone preferred a savory option. Crepes could, in your opinion, get overly sweet.

You caught a smile on James’ face. “This reminds me of times gone by,” he admitted. “When I was a child in England. I used to watch the women in the kitchens preparing food. They’d give me small tasks to do, sometimes. It was,” you watched him search for the right word, “nice. It still is.” He looked over at you, a little blush tinting his cheeks. You felt yourself blushing right back, though you couldn’t say the feeling was unpleasant.

Breakfast was eaten with gusto, and though you’d feared it might be awkwardly silent, the group had a never-ending string of questions. Elizabeth voiced her desire to explore, and you figured it couldn’t hurt to take them back to Manhattan. The world had seen stranger things than supposedly enraptured tourists.

Your friend stopped by with clothes and volunteered to go with you so they could drive you in their van. You were more than thankful for it. You let the group change, smiling to see modern styles on them. Elizabeth was a sight in particular, wearing a lovely little floral dress. The boys looked at her with varying degrees of embarrassment. They weren’t used to seeing ankles, much less knees.

You changed into your own clothes. You almost found yourself looking forward to playing tour-guide. I planned on going back to Manhattan anyway, so why not with some others? You knew it would tire you out a little, but you were growing more and more excited to properly get to know the group. They were some of your favorite characters, after all. This is like a child’s Disneyland dream come true.

The first place you stopped was, of course, Times Square. You wanted the group to see the extent of today’s technology, the overwhelming lights blaring at you from a thousand different screens. There would be a crush of people, as usual, and the towering buildings always made you feel small. You could only wonder at how your group would feel, so new to all these sights and sounds, and so far from home.

Your friend found a parking spot a couple blocks away, and you all slid out of the car onto the concrete. You noticed how Will immediately took Elizabeth’s hand, and how even Jack walked alongside your friend.

“That leaves you with our host, Commodore,” Jack called, clearly amused.

You could see that James was embarrassed, but he offered you his arm all the same. “Shall we?”

Equally embarrassed, you accepted. The two of you strolled arm in arm behind your friend as they led the group into the square. James stopped when you entered, looking up at the ads plastered across screens and billboards, and at the skyscrapers encased in glass. You found the wonder on his face to be enchanting.

“Technology really has progressed,” he managed to stutter. “More than you could ever know.” You looked out at the bright screens promoting movies, musicals, and all different sorts of companies. We changed so drastically in such a short amount of time.

The rest of the group had stopped as well, staring with the same awe and reverence as James.

“I’d been to New York, once,” said James. “We had to stop in for supplies on the Dauntless. It was large then, but now…. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so small.” Color dotted his cheeks.

Ah. He’s a man used to being comfortable in any situation, to being in control. You smiled to yourself. Though maybe not social situations. “It’s nothing like the past,” you agreed. “Though not everywhere is like this. Just big cities.”

“Is London like this?” Elizabeth asked excitedly.

“Very. But all the older architecture has been kept around, so there’s a massive difference in styles.”

“Speaking of styles, we have a cathedral here from the nineteenth century. It might be cool to check that out.”

The group agreed. It was a neat spot, surrounded by skyscrapers, strictly contrasting the modern styles. As you walked back to the car, you passed a group of teenagers. One girl looked up at you and James, smiling. “You’re a cute couple,” she said as she passed by.

You and James both blushed, and you opened your mouths to protest that you were not, in fact, a couple, but she was gone before you could get a word out. Too embarrassed to look each other in the eye, you stared at the ground. When you looked up again, you could see the smirking faces of the rest of the group, your friend among them. Even Will was giving you a little smile.

When you got to the car, Jack hopped in the passenger’s seat as your friend drove. That left you to squish in next to James, and you could tell by the look on Jack’s face that he’d meant for it to happen. Your friend turned the radio on, saving you from having to make awkward conversation. James was pressed right next to you, his thigh and arm against yours, and you fiddled with the bottoms of your sleeves to keep your mind preoccupied. Not that it works. James, too, was using a similar tactic, though you could tell he was acutely aware of your proximity.

Finally, you found a place to park near the cathedral, and you slipped out of the car, thankful to be out of an awkward situation, but missing the warmth of James’ body against yours.

St. Patrick’s Cathedral looked short compared to its neighboring buildings, though you still had to crane your neck up to see the top of the spires. It was heavily decorated in the Neo-Gothic style, and you were sure that most of your group had seen the like before. The Gothic style had been around for centuries, and though the Neo-Gothic style had some of its own features, the two were very much alike.

You toured the cathedral in pairs, walking silently through the echoing nave. “I’ve never been much one for religion,” whispered Jack, “but these churches do command a certain respect.”

That was true enough. Even to the nonbeliever, a cathedral demanded respect and reverence. The air in them was different, somehow, heavier. Every sound was magnified. Every careless footfall echoed throughout the chambers like a rockslide might echo in a canyon.

“It reminds me of England,” James said. “My family used to go to Canterbury for Christmas. The cathedral there was much like this one. Bigger, perhaps, but similar.” He stared with sad eyes up at the arches and stained glass. “It seems so long ago, now.”

You gave his hand a squeeze. “We’ll find a way to get you home.” The words sounded unconvincing, even to your own ears, but James smiled appreciatively all the same.

Your third and final stop of the day was the Statue of Liberty. One of the most iconic pieces in America, you figured the group had to see it. You explained that it was a symbol of liberty and freedom while in the car.

“Freedom?” James asked.

You knew you had to break it to them sometime, and you supposed that now was the best time to do so. “From Britain. We’re not colonies anymore.” Your friend parked the car in a space where you could see the statue from across the water.

“What happened?”

“We had a revolution. Britain was taxing us unfairly, so we decided to start our own country.”

“Avoiding taxes?” Jack grinned, joining the conversation. “Sounds like something a pirate might do, love.”

“It was more complicated than that.” Still, you couldn’t suppress a smile. “It was taxation without representation.”

“If you say so, mate.”

“The world must be very different,” said James. “New borders, new countries. And Britain has probably lost many of its colonies, by now.” He looked sad, worried, even.

“Yes, it has. But it’s still a strong country with a good economy, and is looked to as a world leader. The world may change, but the powers remain, taking power in new ways.”

He nodded. “They always are.”

You returned home afterwards and talked to your friend about what you should make for dinner. They smiled at you. “You should get Norrington to help you. The two of you are adorable, and I think he likes you.” They leaned in. “Besides, I know you’ve had a crush on him ever since you watched those movies.” Your friend winked, leaving you alone to blush as they went on to talk to the group.

When you got to the kitchen, you saw that Jack, Elizabeth, and Will had had much the same idea for James. He stood there, awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck with a hand. “Today was lovely.” He looked at you bashfully, and you couldn’t help giving him a small smile back.

“Thank you. I….” You didn’t really have words, so you trailed off into awkward silence, grabbing the ingredients for dinner.

James helped, getting things out of the fridge for you, though he stared at it like it was from an alien planet. To him, it is.

He passed the food to you, but his hand lingered on yours, and you felt yourself blush. You set the food down, turning back to him. Gently, he took your hand in his, raising it to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but clearly couldn’t think of anything.

You stepped forward, a little uncertainly, and kissed him on the cheek. He went red, and so did you. You stepped back, returning to your cooking. He watched, helping where he could, and you settled into a comfortable silence, goofy smiles across your faces.

Living with this group has its upsides, I suppose. James, I think, accounts for ten of them.

#potc #pirate #pirates #pirates of the caribbean #James norrington #norrinton #commodore norrington #modern au #au #fanfic #potc fanfic #x reader #self insert #potc x reader #drabble #drabbles #request #requests #writings

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justkpopjokes · 4 years

Text

SVT’s Reaction to Being Outed for Dating a Guy

A/N: I’m perfectly fine with it, here you go bub!! And I hope fans of all pronouns/identities feel welcome on my blog, so if y’all want to request more pride stuff or specifically for fanboys, they/them fans, etc, then feel free to! Reaction & drabble requests are still open~

I hope you all enjoy this even if it may not be completely accurate ^^ ♡

S.Coups

Wbk he’s 100% supportive of the LGBTQ+ community, so he’s definitely aware of how Korea thinks of his relationship and doesn’t care about Korea’s opinions of him as an LGBTQ+ person. He still does a good job at hiding his relationship for his boyfriend’s sake, though.

Honestly, being the best leader he is, Cheol is the one with the situation under control... on the outside. He deals with the company and the media really well, but on the inside he’s an emotional mess because he’s worried about how his bf would react to the whole ordeal. Again, it isn’t the pride stuff he’s worried about; he cares for his boyfriend and wants him to feel safe after their relationship is exposed.

...Will smother his bf with love once they're free from the drama tho lol

Jeonghan

Jeonghan’s worried at first but he quickly gains the confidence that everything will be alright as long as he and his boyfriend maintain a healthy relationship. He’s not going to let the company tear them apart, much less “fans” and the public! He meets with the company early on to get everything sorted out and confirms his relationship (if his bf approves) so they don’t need to worry about being too secretive about it.

And after all the professional stuff? He lowkey owns it tbh. His way of dealing with the media is holding his boyfriend’s hand in public to show that “yes, we’re dating; your opinions aren’t going to change anything!” What a king.

Joshua

Because he’s from the USA, Joshua would be the most comfortable in this situation compared to the others. He's definitely worried and shocked, especially when the company says they need to talk to him about dating rumors. But his opinion is swayed by how his boyfriend feels, rather than the opinion of literally everyone else who doesn’t have a say in the relationship 🙃

If his bf doesn’t want to make the relationship super public, he understands completely; Josh will definitely want to show him off though! ;) A v caring man who probably posts the occasional selfie with his boyfriend. His mans should expect some guitar serenades too!

Jun

When the company calls him in to talk about dating rumors, he makes sure his boyfriend is with him, or at least tells his bf about how the company wants to proceed. He gets through everything while trying to be strong and not to show any doubts he has.

But c’mon, he would be the one that’s super giggly and obvious about his relationship after he’s outed. He posts funny pics with his boy on Weibo whenever they’re chilling together! (As Jun’s bf... you’re gonna have to tolerate that lmao.)

Hoshi

Honestly doesn’t really care about the company’s opinion that much. Probably posted pictures of one of the places they went on a date at and then someone got suspicious. He’s more concerned about his group members though, so he asks for their opinions and advice before even asking out his now-boyfriend. (Probably still asks for advice after he starts dating said boyfriend lol)

He’s worried about carats and Korea’s opinions, but he’s also not gonna let that stop him from loving and appreciating his boyfriend! His mindset is that they’ll get through it, and they’ll get through it together.

Wonwoo

His big brain is very aware about how he/his relationship is be viewed by the locals. Writes a statement explaining the situation if it was revealed in a really rude way (*cough* Dispatch). Ultimately he handles the media and rumors really well!

In terms of his members and boyfriend... he needs a lot of validation. He’s worried for sure, so he needs a lot of love and reassurance that he’s doing enough to keep his bf and the group safe. Hides from the media until the rumors die down or gets comfortable enough to show his relationship in public.

Woozi

Jihoon’s pretty responsible, but he knows that if he’s outed, he’s outed. He talks with the members about it since he’s worried how it will affect them and his boyfriend. (If his man is a celebrity like an actor/idol too... hoo boy he's so stressed.😢) He definitely worries that the media will harass his boyfriend or knetizens will ask him to leave the group.

Once the members and boyfriend comfort him and give him a lot of love, he’s calmed and is back to being himself! Keep his relationship mostly private, but probably writes a love song that carats just know was inspired by his boyfriend!

He could care less about the company or the general public; what’s important is his bond with his boyfriend, his members, and carats (in that order). Mr. Sunshine Seokmin is emotional about the drama happening. He loves his boyfriend with all his heart and it shows, so he’s scared his bf will leave him out of fear or stress :(

He understands if his bf wants to break up and talks with him about it, but to his joy that won’t be the case!! After the stress passes, he’s still careful about how much of their relationship is shown to the public. But he’s definitely open to pda if his bf is okay with it! He’s excited to share his life an experiences with his boyfriend and to celebrate theirs too.

Mingyu

The company brought up dating rumors to him pretty quickly because of his previous ‘scandal’ and they want to prioritize his safety and avoid another once. But once he’s outed, he knows there’s no going back, so he goes with the flow and starts posting pictures of him and his boyfriend with no fear!! He either posts on his Instagram account if they ever start using their accounts again, or he lets his bf post pics wherever he wants. He’s cautious, but also, who cares?!

He tries to separate his relationship from Seventeen as much as possible, but doesn’t shy away from the idea of doing a Vlive with just him and his bf. Definitely a couple trying to show Korea that love is love and Mingyu can date whoever tf he wants!!!

The8

Minghao’s super professional about everything and cautious because of Korea’s views. But if there is a slip-up (maybe during or after a date where someone snaps a picture), the moment he sees that someone has found out about his relationship, he talks about it with his bf. The members are told right after and he makes plans to talk to the company.

His priority is his boyfriend’s privacy and safety, especially if his bf isn’t a celebrity; Minghao’s super protective and is more cautious the next time(s) they go out together. If the relationship is eventually confirmed, it’s intentional and to show that he’s living his best life and that carats should too! (Though he probably won’t say anything about his relationship other than that.)

Seungkwan

He’s fine at first since the meeting with the company went well (thanks to Seungcheol's support) and the company suggests they reveal the relationship. But right after, Seungkwan’s an emotional wreck... there are times he feels like crying because of people leaving super inconsiderate comments and other times he feels enraged because of negative comments about his boyfriend. He takes a break from social media because of this.

Once the rumors died down and carats accept his relationship, he’s gushing about his man whenever he gets the chance! Interviewers are always asking him about what it’s like to be LGBTQ+ in a kpop group, but he always redirects the conversation to be about his boyfriend and how happy they both are!! I refuse to believe Seungkwan will be anything less than an amazing, caring boyfriend despite the whole situation.

Vernon

Vernon’s another member that’s more focused on how his boyfriend feels about the situation, rather than the company/Korea/fans’ reaction. It's scary for him to be outed like that, but his family (biological & svt) is very supportive of him and his sexuality! He would ask for a lot of advice from other LGBTQ+ idols (including fellow members, if they happen to be dating a guy at the time) for how they dealt with the initial wave of drama and criticism.

Just another boy that’s chill on the outside but is gonna need a lot of love to get through it all :’) Keeps most of his relationship off of social media, but if his boyfriend wants to post something, he’s okay with that!

Dino

He’s nervous mostly about the company’s reaction and the status of his relationship. He trusts that carats will be supportive, but he’s worried that the company or bf will react badly, so he talks a lot with the group first about his relationship even before he’s outed! He also discusses everyone’s reactions with his boyfriend. He wants to handle it well to show he’s capable, especially to his younger siblings & family, so the only person to know if he’s really feeling stressed is his boyfriend and maybe the members!

After being outed, he still wants to keep his relationship private. He doesn’t stress to much if he’s caught out with his bf once or twice, but he values his privacy and will only show his bf off if they are both in a secure point in their relationship.

#seventeen reactions #svt reactions #seventeen #seventeen imagines #jkj fics #.txt

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deadmomjokes · 4 years

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I’m in a situation with some friends where a double standard is involved. It’s me, a couple, and other people. But the double standard involves me and the couple. I will say a joke and the boyfriend will call me annoying/stupid or to shut up/go away. Then his girlfriend will say/do the EXACT same thing I did and he will laugh and call her cute and kiss her. I want to bring it up because yeah they are dating but the fact is it’s not fair to treat a friend or someone you care about like that.

double standard anon again. I want to bring it up especially since this has been happening a lot more recently and all of my friends will be going on a trip together, I don’t want to snap and say something I can’t take back I need to approach the situation where I get my point across without crying/sounding bitchy.

___________________________________

I am so sorry you’re dealing with this. This is just a disgusting situation, and you don’t deserve that. What he is doing is horribly toxic, and totally unacceptable. I would be shocked if he didn’t realize what he’s doing, because it sounds absolutely purposeful to me, and I’m so sad and angry on your behalf.

If you are wanting to bring it up, I would suggest starting with the others in the friend group. Maybe try asking them if they’ve noticed it, and let them know how it’s affecting you. If they are unwilling or unable to help you address the problem, or don’t see it as a big deal, my next step on the escalation ladder would be going to the girlfriend rather than the boyfriend, because he is the one saying horrible things to you and it’s more likely that she’s unaware rather than him (it is possible he might not realize it and is in for one heck of a wakeup call, though I’d be really surprised if anyone could be so deeply hurtful and not realize they’re doing it).

I personally find letter or email-writing helpful, especially to say something along the lines of “I’m writing it down because I don’t want to get flustered in the moment, because our friendship is really important to me and I want to make sure I can say this accurately without getting stressed out.” If you’re more comfortable talking out loud, of course, maybe just ask if you could get her to help you with something so you two are alone, and go from there. But I would definitely suggest not going straight to the boyfriend right away without having talked to others involved, because it really seems to me like he’s the main perpetrator/offender here. (And I’m honestly still reeling from how disgustingly obvious and horrible and rude he’s being to you, like dang, dude, that’s awful, and I’m honestly really proud of you for wanting to fix it instead of just wanting to jump to ditching the whole lot of them. That’s a really mature thing for you to do; I’m usually so conflict averse I’d just ghost them and move to canada or something. Not really, but my point is, you’re being so strong and grown-up about this even though the situation is absolutely gross and very hurtful.)

If it comes down to talking to the boyfriend directly, I’d make sure to emphasize that you’re bringing it up because you're invested in this friendship, and you wanted to clear the air directly so that there aren’t hard feelings in the future and you can all continue being friends without anyone feeling uncomfortable.

I know this is the kind of stuff they teach you in elementary school (at least, they did when I was in elementary, we got this lesson 2x a year from the counselor in an attempt to stop kids from beating each other up), but it can be helpful to remember “I statement” communication techniques, both in person and in writing. It’s all to avoid sounding accusatory by putting things in terms of how they affect you, not what the other person is doing. It plays on peoples’ sense of empathy rather than them feeling defensive because their actions are the focus.

So instead of “you’re being unfair, rude, and hurtful,” which, it must be said, is 100% accurate and true, it would be something like, “I feel really unwanted and hated and hurt when this specific situation comes up where I say something, get told I’m being annoying, and then someone else says it and it gets a laugh.” It is also helpful and recommended by communications experts (at least it was back in my day) to state what you’re looking for in terms of resolution, and why you’re engaging in the conversation. So you could add something like “I’m not jealous, just hurt and wondering what’s going on. I want to feel like I can be myself with my friends, and I want to see what we can do to fix this so everyone is comfortable around each other.”

Now, I could see several bad responses on his/their part. One being that “It’s just a joke, lighten up.” At that point, it’s going to be a matter of continuing to express that it’s not something you find funny, that you feel genuinely hurt, and then holding your ground. This may end up in a situation where there is just this awful personality conflict that can’t be gotten over, in which case I am even more sorry because the only real solution for your emotional safety and well being is to no longer engage with them socially, if they’re insistent on continuing this “joke.”

Another possible response that would be absolutely vile but very telling would be that he says he genuinely finds it annoying when you do it but cute when she does it. That is unacceptable as a human being, and especially as a friend, and to me is the death blow for this social relationship. If the other people involved are unwilling to take a stand against that kind of cruelty, or (in the above situation) are unwilling to ensure your comfort in the group, they are not being friends to you.

I hope that this works out in such a way that the conversation goes easily, and that it gets resolved once and for all so that you can feel happy, loved, and welcome in your friend group. I hope this trip goes wonderfully and peacefully.

Feel free to let me know how things progress, and I hope in all these ramblings there was something that might help. If only to know that you’re not being unreasonable or rude, you have a right to feel welcome and unpersecuted in your friend group, and this behavior you’ve been dealing with is definitely unacceptable and cruel. And that you are being a genuinely mature and good person in wanting to address this before you reach your boiling point. You have all my best wishes, especially moving forward, and may something like this never, ever happen again!

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thoughtremixer · 5 years

Text

A minor cop story pre-NYCC

I'm going to write about a minor, yet funny cop story that happened. And when I say "funny" I mean "wtf". It lasted 30 seconds, but how it got to that was longer.

Now, as some of you know, I dressed up as Barret Wallace from Final Fantasy 7. I looked like this...

The arm gun was created by @queentron and they live in Oakland. We joked about wanting to mail the arm gun to New York so the TSA doesn't think it's an actual weapon. They brought it with them. Funny story happened when they landed.

So, at New Jersey EWR airport, we got into an argument because I was an hour late. In my attempts to humbled myself for my shortcomings, I carried all their baggage. Literally. Two bags and one arm gun.

Because of the time (close to midnight), I came by Express Bus and since this is only the third time in my life I came to this airport, I didn't know where the pickup is. I was informed by the bus driver en route that this would be the last pickup, when the next one would be in the morning. Now, everyone at the platform of pick ups were not from there, so needless to say they don't know where to go. There were one cop working traffic. So I approached the cop, not thinking of the arm gun I am carrying by default (as pictured) because I got two bags and I didn't want to crush the gun under the weight of my arms carry TWO BAGS.

Now, when I approached the cop, he gave me a strange look. More concerned than humor and a bit of fear, but how I approached him was a man with a focus of getting out of the airport before I made a person who is already mad at me worse.

I said "good evening, can you tell me where the express bus stops to pick up-"

*pointing to arm gun, concerned tone* "what is that?"

Me: A prop. Getting back to-

Cop: why are you carrying it like that?

(note, tho it's a fake gun, it's pointed towards the ground because it would be rude to point a gun, real or imaginary, at anyone)

Me: because I am carrying two bags. Now, officer can you tell me-

Cop: put it under your arm.

Me: *gives a wtf look and avoid the statement* where is the bus to New York? I don't want to be stuck here, please.

He then proceeded to give me directions, all while looking at the gun and never taking his eyes off it. And then, I was about to say thanks, and then he told me "for everybody's safety, can you please carry the gun under your arm?"

Me: *cuts him off* thank you, but as you can see, I'm not in a position to carry a big prop underneath my...

Cop: that's an order, sir.

Me: *stunned*

J: *stunned*

Everyone looking at us: *confused at the cop*

Me: thanks for your concern. *Starts to walk away towards J*

Cop: SIR PLEASE STOP CARRYING YOUR PROP LIKE THAT.

J: HEY!

Me: J, carry one of your bags and look away, it's not worth it.

And then when J took the bag, I proceed to tuck the gun under my arm as he "suggested" and walk towards the terminal to head downstairs... with J making commentary and their anger now directed towards the cop.

While I'm happy that the anger kinda moot our previous argument, we both were still disturbed by the officer wanting to make a deal out of a prop that threaten no one.

Not the Lyft driver to Oakland airport.

Not TSA, the very people we both joked about.

No one during the entire trip.

Even if you take the kindest apporoch and think "maybe it was dark with little lighting and the cop thought it was a dangerous item... If you look at the gun, it was clearly imaginary. And WHO would approach a cop to ask for directions? This was not a joke setup and no cameras were rolling to capture this. It was just me, asking for directions to get on with my life.

This interaction with the cop frustrated me. While it didn't put a damper on the trip and it was a minor issue, you have to wonder... what cop would be that fearful of something like that?

For that, I'm glad Barret had an imaginary gun and not something close to reality.

#police harassment #police #new jersey #new jersey police

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transgenderteensurvivalguide · 5 years

Note

This isn't to be rude, I'm just legitimately curious. What's the point in being transgender if you don't have dysphoria? Is it just because of the disconnect between the brain and the body? So, being trans helps you to feel more connected and at home in your body? There just isn't any distress? And if you don't have physical/body dysphoria, you shouldn't medically transition, right? I've heard doing so can cause you to develop body dysphoria. So, you should just socially transition?

Lee says:

“What’s the point in being transgender”? People are transgender because we are- it isn’t like there’s a point, it’s just the way some people are. That’s true for all trans folks, regardless of their experience with dysphoria.

Not having any distress from dysphoria doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t experience distress from being trans at all though- being trans in a transphobic world means that you’re going to be coming up against some transphobic people and uncomfortable and unsafe situations and all that because if you’re trans then transphobes aren’t going to ask you “hey, do you have gender dysphoria?” before they discriminate against you or shout at you in the locker room or something. So I think that trans people do share a common experience of minority stress from being marginalized even if you don’t have distress from gender dysphoria.

Yeah, I’d say that it seems like a lot of trans people who don’t identify as having gender dysphoria do tend to experience gender euphoria, and accepting that you’re trans if you’re trans is usually the first step towards helping you to feel more connected and at home in your body and more comfortable with how you move in the world. The Being trans without dysphoria post gets into that a bit more.

Gender dysphoria is defined in the DSM-V as “the distress that may accompany the incongruence between one’s experienced or expressed gender and one’s assigned gender” (DSM-V, page 451). So some folks may have that incongruence but it isn’t necessarily causing them that distress. But if you don’t fully identify as the gender you were assigned at birth 100% of the time, you can call yourself trans. That’s it, there’s no other criteria you need to meet to be trans.

As for medically transitioning, I think that’s something each individual needs to figure out for themself. You have to decide whether the changes on HRT you want are worth the other changes you aren’t as excited for. You can do low-dose HRT and have the changes happen slower so you can stop when you’ve had enough, but some changes are permanent so it’s important to only start HRT if you’re reasonably sure that you’re okay with the permanent changes that you’d get. You don’t want to start HRT to find that it only makes you more uncomfortable.

There are some people who may find that medically transitioning creates some features they’re dysphoric with, and there are other folks who may feel that they felt neutral about their bodies beforehand and not necessarily distressed by them, but felt even more comfortable and happy after transitioning- a shift from neutral in either direction is possible.

For example, you might be…

Neutral & non-dysphoric about your bod pre-medical transition then dysphoric post-HRT/surgery

Neutral & non-dysphoric about your bod pre-medical transition then happier and euphoric/more positive post-HRT/surgery

Neutral & non-dysphoric about your bod pre-medical transition then still neutral, no particular emotional change post-HRT/surgery

Some non-dysphoric people may feel neutral about their bodies as they are so they don’t necessarily feel like they need HRT to be comfortable in their body, but they may want other people to recognize what their gender is and so they may find it easier to pass if they start hormones or get surgery and passing is often associated with safety in certain situations so that’s a valid reason to transition- if they think they’re okay with the HRT changes.

In fact, I wouldn’t even say that someone shouldn’t start HRT if one of the changes from HRT would make them dysphoric about something they’re not currently dysphoric about. It’s up to them to decide if that changes is worth everything else they’d be getting. Sometimes a little bad is worth a lot of good- it depends on the person and how they feel about it! And it isn’t a decision that should be taken lightly, but it also isn’t something that should be policed by random strangers on the internet.

I personally do have dysphoria and I’m on T and had top surgery, a hysterectomy, and I’m getting phallo, but that doesn’t mean that I am/was uncomfortable with every single aspect about my pre-HRT and pre-surgery body. Before I started testosterone, for example, I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about getting facial hair. It wasn’t one of the changes that I was really looking forward to. Now I’m about 2 years on T, and I’ve found that so far I don’t have very much facial hair anyway but I just shave now and then, as plenty of folks do, and if I have literally 0 regrets about being on T and it was definitely the right decision for me. In my case, the change I didn’t particularly want (facial hair) was totally worth everything else.

I know that some non-binary people feel that they wouldn’t be fully comfortable with either all the changes from estrogen or testosterone. These folks may decide that either way they’d still have dysphoria about certain things, so starting hormones might create new areas of dysphoria but alleviate other areas, and they have to decide which things would be harder to cope with- the things they had before, or the things they don’t want about HRT changes. So for example, if a non-binary person really doesn’t want say increased body hair growth on T but they really want a lower voice, they may decide that getting dysphoria about their body hair is worth getting rid of the voice dysphoria because they can manage the body hair easier by shaving and the voice changes will be more noticeable in how they interact with strangers or something.

It’s all very complicated and it isn’t an easy decision so saying big general categories of folks shouldn’t medically transition and but people should often oversimplifies all the different variables that trans people are grappling with- and there are almost always a few exceptions to every rule. So making broad generalizations might exclude and marginalize some people who legitimately need to transition while including folks who might not want to. Some folks with dysphoria may choose not to medically transition and some folks without dysphoria might choose to medically transition, and there are often really good reasons why they’re making those decisions and that should be respected. Nobody should feel pressured into medically transitioning if they don’t want to do it, even if they have dysphoria, and the reverse.

So I really don’t feel comfortable dictating categories of folks who should or shouldn’t medically transition because life is more complicated than that. Each person who is interested in medically transitioning needs to spend some time thinking about it, and it can help to create like a concrete pro/con list of how they think they’d feel about each change. If they think that surgery and/or hormones is right for them after careful consideration, that should be respected. Not everyone decides to medically transition which is valid, and I couldn’t say whether medically transition is even a particularly common choice for non-dysphoric people to make, but we should respect other people’s bodily autonomy and trust that they can make choices for themself.

Followers say:

guiltyidealist said: Being trans isn’t “a disconnect between the brain and the body” because not all trans people feel like they’re “”“"born in the wrong body,”“”“ and sex =/= gender

Lee says:

Yes, exactly! I didn’t fully address that statement- some trans people may feel that there’s a disconnect between their brain and their body, but that isn’t true for every single trans person, as the follower above wrote.

You can’t be “wrong” about the way that you feel about your body- although it is transphobic to say “All men have X parts or want X parts” because that isn’t true. For example, one trans guy may say “My body is male because I am male and this is my body,” and another trans guy may say “I want to medically transition in every way that’s available to me because I don’t see my body as being fully reflective of my identity” and both of those feelings are valid.

I know this is all a lot to unpack and unravel, especially when different folks are using different definitions for the same words, but again, in the end it comes back to bodily autonomy and the right for folks to make their own decisions about their own bodies.

If you don’t fully identify as the gender you were assigned at birth 100% of the time, you can call yourself trans. That’s it, there’s no other criteria you need to meet to be trans. If you want to medically transition, then that’s your decision.

#Lee says #nondysphoric #not sure what else to tag this with?#Anonymous #transgenderteensurvivalguide #trans #transgender

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raccoonwritings · 5 years

Text

A Drink Away from Honesty (Ch. 7)

Childhood Friends AU (angst with a happy ending, be warned)

Lucas is an oversharing drunk, Eliott is both desperate and dramatic, and everyone is trying to just keep everything straight.

Or alternatively, Lucas and Eliott were childhood best friends until a storm tears them apart and brings them back together.

(Title from “Don’t Miss Me?” by Marianas Trench)

Chapter 7: In Another Universe

Lucas (14) and Eliott (16)

Samedi 09:19

Soft is the right word to describe it. The windows are open, a soft breeze coming through the window of Eliott’s room. The bed sheets are soft and freshly washed, smelling of vanilla because the fabric softener they use. The blanket is worn and loved, so much, and still soft, despite years of Eliott carrying it around as his literal safety blanket. Eliott’s arms, covered by an oversized sweatshirt, are softly wrapped around his waist, holding him right where he is, pressed against Eliott’s chest. His lips are chapped, while Eliott’s are unbelievably soft and smooth, a nice contrast to his. He is warm and comfortable, knowing he is completely soft for this boy.

Kissing him like this is a new sensation. He knows what it’s like to kiss someone for the sake of kissing or because the other person wants it, but this. This is different, it’s everything. Lucas has never experienced kissing someone he is attracted too, that he likes, and enjoys being around; someone he loves. It fills him up with a feeling that is indescribable, a feeling he hopes will never end. He hopes that infinities are real because to have this for an infinity is unfathomable. How incredible it would be to have an infinity.

Eliott switches between slow kissing, where his tongue explores gently, mapping out Lucas’ mouth, and desperate kissing, where Lucas truly believes his best friend is trying to eat him because the kisses consume half his face and even though Lucas makes fun of Eliott being a ‘cannibal’, he secretly indulgents in how this boy could even want him. Out of all the kisses they’ve shared, Lucas definitely prefers the smile kisses, ones where they get too caught up in love and happiness and affection and smile so hard that their teeth sometimes end up touching. A little uncomfortable and the noise isn’t pleasant, but Lucas will fight anyone who dares to deny the superiority of smiley kisses.

“What are you thinking about?” Eliott inquires, their limbs tangled together. Lucas nestles into Eliott’s chest.

“Science,” he answers honestly and Eliott snorts.

“I’ve been kissing the life out of you and you’re thinking about science?” He feigns offense, placing a hand on his chest dramatically. Lucas doesn’t know if he could roll his eyes further back into his head.

“You asked me what I was thinking about and I answered truthfully!”

“It wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear!”

“What was the answer you wanted to hear then?” Lucas really wanted to hear this.

“That you were thinking of kissing me again.” This guy. He has Lucas wrapped around his teenage finger.

Another eye roll precedes Lucas leaning up and kissing him genuinely.

He presses their foreheads together. “Better?” Lucas is positive that if anyone saw him right now they would see stars in his eyes because Eliott is dizzying.

“I don’t think I could ever get enough kisses from you,” Eliott’s tone is sweet and maddening. He might want more kisses now.

Samedi 10:00

“Do you believe in the infinity?”

Eliott is playing with Lucas’ hair and is quite surprised at the unexpected question. Where does Lucas come up with his stuff? “I’m not sure if anything could last forever. We all die eventually and it’s inevitable.” He stops himself there.

Lucas frowns slightly and looks up at his best friend, hoping to meet his gaze. “Well what about parallel universes?”

“Hmm?”

“Parallel universes! It’s the idea that there are other timelines going on right now, where some things are the same and some things are different.”

“I don’t think I’d want anything to be different. This is perfect.”

Lucas’ cheeks warm. “But it doesn’t necessarily have to be something big. In another universe, maybe the curtains are yellow. Or green. Maybe in another universe you kissed me when you were 7 and I cried. Maybe there’s a universe where we’re older and I don’t meet you until then. Or where we have different names or live in different countries. Maybe there’s a me in New York or Bali just waiting to meet you.” They’re looking at each other now and Lucas has never seen Eliott look at him like this. Like he’s everything all at once.

“What are we doing in the other universes right now?”

Lucas lays there for a moment and thinks. “Laying here together, don’t you think?”

Samedi 13:33

“Would you be okay if I held your hand in public?” Eliott asks, playing with Lucas’ slightly smaller hands. The idea was appealing, and not abnormal for them since they did it when they were younger, but something about the idea now unsettles him.

“Do you think that we could just hold hands in here? Or, like, when we’re alone?”

Eliott is immediately disappointed. “Why not? You don’t want to tell everyone we’re together?” Woa, woah, woah. They aren’t together.

“We aren’t together, Eliott. I’m not gay. I just like kissing you.”

“You know, logically speaking, I’m a boy, and if you like kissing me, you may like boys, Lulu. It’s not a bad thing.”

The panic begins to rise. “I’m not gay, Eliott!” His outburst is coordinated with his rapid sitting up. He’s not gay. Eliott is just a really good kisser. “Just because I like kissing you doesn’t mean I want to be in a relationship with you!”

Eliott’s face falters, but he recovers quickly. “Yesterday, you said you liked me, were you lying? Because I wasn’t. I like you, Lulu, and I want to be with you. It-”

Lucas is getting frustrated. “I don’t want to be with you because I’m straight! Just because I’m kissing you now doesn’t mean I’d want to kiss you in front of other people.”

Lucas doesn’t see how much that hurts Eliott, but he can tell something is wrong. “You need to go Lucas.” Eliott gets off his bed and begins to gather Lucas’ stuff from around his bedroom.

“Eli, no, wait, pl-”

“Get out, Lucas.” He feels his heart break. They were just so happy, what happened?

“But som-” Lucas can’t get more than that out without Eliott interrupting him again.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, I just need some time.” Okay. Even though it makes him sad, he has to respect that.

Before he goes, broken heart in tow, Eliott runs a hand through his hair, just like he always does.

Eliott doesn’t talk to him tomorrow.

Lucas (16) and Eliott (18)

Dimanche 22:08

To: Yann

Can you come over?

From: Yann

Yeah, everything okay?

To: Yann

Need to talk

From: Yann

You? Talking? W o a h. Something you NEVER do.

To: Yann

rude

Lucas appreciates Yann and he has a feeling that shit is going to hit the fan tomorrow, so he wants to tell Yann before he has a chance to hear anything. He could have already heard something, if Lucas is being honest with himself, but he wasn’t able to gather the strength to get out of bed this weekend until about an hour ago, when he realized that he smells. A brief shower and scrounging of the kitchen cabinets later, he mozies on back to his room and waits for his best friend to arrive.

He appreciates that Manon offered to sleep at Emma’s tonight, so Lucas could have the room to himself. One day, he is going to repay her for everything she has done for him. He hopes that day is soon.

Yann arrives and makes his way back to Lucas’ room, where they sit down beside each other. Lucas doesn’t know where to start, so he begins with inquiring about how much he knows about the new kid, Eliott. Yann doesn’t know much, but is smart enough to put two and two together; to understand that his childhood best friend Eliott is the Eliott who showed up halfway through this school year. Yann explains that he could tell by how Lucas looks at him: with a mixture of love and heartbreak and false hope and everything in between.

Lucas begins to shake, not a lot, just a little. He calms himself enough to answer the in depth and draining questions about their relationship. He tells Yann he was in love and still is. That he fell for Eliott when he didn’t understand his feelings felt or what pure love was. He didn’t understand himself or the attraction to his best friend.

He comes out. He shouts the word at Yann, not because he’s angry or scared. He shouts it because he’s been holding it in for so long that he feels like a shaken up soda bottle that someone has finally taken the cap off of. He releases the statement and forces himself not to tear up, hoping that Yann won’t hate him or look at him differently.

His best friend is everything he needs. He rubs Lucas’ back and hugs him tight, telling him to never worry about holding things in, especially not things like that. Lucas cries and tells him everything under the moon about his love for Eliott. He told him about the parties and the truth or dare games and the stolen kisses and the pure, shattering heartbreak.

In his mission to tell Yann all about Eliott, he accidentally mentions the period of time in which he thought he had moved on from his childhood best friend. The period of time where he thought he was in love with Yann. This causes Yann to step back a little. He’s more hesitant, but still caring and soothing and helpful to Lucas.

There’s so much emotion flowing out of him that he doesn’t even recognize the moment where he lets slip that he had a part to do in breaking up Yann and Emma. Yann asks Lucas to repeat what he just said and that’s when the anxiety rises. He apologizes profusely in between explaining what happened during the year that Eliott left and disappeared. The feelings transferred to Yann and Lucas was so heartbroken at Yann being in a relationship that he helped orchestrate the break up.

He’s fully crying by the time Yann stands up and screams at him. Yann is shouting about how terrible a friend Lucas is, about how he lied and cussed Yann to lose a person he loved. He called Lucas the cause of all his problems, specifically in the romance category. Lucas tries to get in a word, to apologize, but his friend won’t let him. Lucas is in hysterics, trying so hard just to regulate his breathing when Yann tells him the friendship isn’t worth it anymore if Lucas was going to destroy his relationships. Lucas just sits there and listens, wiping his eyes as his friend grits out that he’ll never be forgiven.

Watching Yann leave after denouncing their friendship sends Lucas into a panic attack. He curls up on his bed and shakes, tears running down his cheeks while his breath is rapid. He doesn’t know how long he’s like that when he falls asleep propped up against the headboard. The pain is dull for few moments and he takes the opportunity to doze off.

Waking up, the pain and heartbreak and panic are still rooted in his chest. He steals a bottle of vodka from Mika’s secret stash and gets drunk by himself in his room. He sees visions of Eliott kissing someone else and Yann laughing at him in the school courtyard. He cries and cries until his eyes hurt too much to keep open.

Lucas (15) and Yann (15)

Vendredi 19:00

After they arrive at the pregame, it takes less than an hour for Lucas to get completely wasted. Truthfully, he doesn’t want to be sober. He doesn’t want to think about anything. He takes another swig of his beer and nearly misses his mouth. Suddenly, something is gripping the bottom of his drink.

“I think you’ve had enough, Lucas,” Yann soothes, taking the bottle from his clumsy hands. He attempts, rather poorly, to retrieve it.

“But, Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaann. I’m not drunk enough yet,” he pouts, trying to prove his point.

“Okay, then walk straight over to the fridge without bumping into anything or using the counters to lean on,” Yann challenges. Fucking piece of cake. He turns around, pivoting on his left foot and immediately falls sideways, catching the corner of the counter on his side. He writhes in pain on the ground, where he looks up and sees Yann, concerned and slightly amused. “Come here, you utter disaster.” Yann picks him up and swings Lucas’ arm around his shoulder, so Lucas can lean some weight on him. Lucas, in response, buries his head into the base of Yann’s neck and stays there.

Yann maneuvers them to an area where Lucas can lay down, and ends up in a separate living room area where the only party goers present are a couple in the back corner deeply invested in the others mouths. Lucas takes the initiative, trying to show Yann that he can still have another drink and be totally fine, and moves himself down to the couch and somehow manages to slip, causing Yann to help him.

“Jeez, Lucas, how much did you drink?” Yann chuckles.

“Not enough,” Lucas burps.

“Why the need to get so drunk? Don’t you want to be able to remember?”

“Want to forget.”

“What to do you want to forget?”

“He forgot about me,” Lucas hiccups.

“Who?”

“Eliott.”

Yann has to search in his brain a bit for a face to the name, but eventually only comes up with instances where Lucas has mentioned him. According to those instances, he is Lucas’ childhood best friend. Both of them were attached at the hip, but lately Lucas hadn’t mentioned him. At all.

“I doubt Eliott could forget about you,” Yann attempts to reassure his drunk friend.

Lucas adamantly denies the reassurance. “No, n-no he forgot. He left me. I wasn’t important. He threw me away when he f-found something better.” Lucas is starting to cry now and Yann has so many questions. Lucas is making it sound like they were together…?

“What happened, Lulu?”

“I thought he w-wanted me. He made me think that he’d s-stay. B-but, at that party, h-he was kissing someone else, and he hasn’t talked to m-me since. I knew something was wrong, b-but he said he’d talk to me, but h-he never did,” Lucas sobs into the back of the couch and Yann just stares. He feels horrible that Lucas is telling him about something he might not want to talk about sober.

“Lulu, I’m sorry that he wants you in his life. I’m sure he misses you, but I think we should talk about this when you’re sober, okay?” Yann rubs Lucas’ arm softly. Lucas nods at Yann’s suggestion and calms himself down.

Eventually, Yann brings Lucas back to his house since his parents are away. Lucas passes out on the couch almost instantly. Yann goes to bed and thinks about everything that happened in the past few hours. He hopes they can talk about it in the morning, when they wake up.

Except, when they do, Lucas doesn’t seem to remember or decides he doesn’t want to talk about it. Yann waits until his friend is ready to talk to him. He’ll be the friend that Lucas needs.

Lucas (16) and Eliott (18)

Lundi 08:35

The courtyard is full of people staring at him. His friends, his exs, people he doesn’t even know. They’re all staring and laughing. Mocking him because they know. He’d received texts over the weekend about Chloe spreading the fact that he’s gay. His response was just to shut his phone off and shut everyone out, especially after telling Yann everything.

He pulls his hood up as an attempt to cover his face and moves through the courtyard, forcing himself not to make eye contact with anyone. He makes it halfway before snapping his head up at the sound of laughter.

There was a group of boys and girls, all first years, surrounding Chloe, who is directing the attention towards him. His heart beats faster and he tries to block out the mean things people are saying. He wishes that he couldn’t hear.

Opposite the group of first years are his friends and they’re looking at him too. Basile, Imane, Alexia, Yann, and Emma, who looks at him with such anger as she stands close to Yann and Lucas realizes that she knows now. Tears start to pool, but they don’t come until he sees the rest of his friends faces. There’s so much disappointment. He hides the trails running down his cheeks and beelines for the entrance to the school. That’s when he feels something big hit his chest and knock him down.

“Oh is the little gay boy crying?” Lucas looks up with red eyes and sees a hulking third year standing over him.

“What’s it to you, asshole?” He quips back and receives a hard kick to the stomach.

“You have quite the mouth, don’t you? Bet you’d prefer it around m-”

Suddenly, in the midst of his sentence, which Lucas is glad he didn’t have to hear, there is a mess of coppery orange brown hair flailing from behind the third year. It takes him a good moment to realize it’s Manon, who has completely jumped on the third year’s back and was pulling at his throat.

“The fuck!” The third year yells as he shakes Manon off, causing her to fall to the floor beside Lucas. “Aw gay boy, you have someone here to defend you, that’s cute. Looks like I have two practice punching bags now.

Lucas is just about to rush up at the guy, when two heads of blonde hair jump in the way.

“Wow, asshole, you’re really gonna beat up a girl?” Daphne asks sarcastically. “Don’t be that guy.”

“No girl is gonna wanna go out with you if they see you beating on one. Or is that what you want?” Arthur moves to get in the guy’s face. “Maybe you don’t even like girls anyway.”

The guy latches on to Arthur’s collar and hoists him up to slam him against the window. “What did you just say, you little shit?”

“Let him go!” Daphne’s leg finds its way between the guy’s legs and nails him right in the balls, causing him to drop Arthur and crumble to the ground.

Daphne helps Manon up first, who then in turn hoists Lucas back up. All four of them ignore the stares of their classmates in the courtyard and fumble off to a place where they have a bit more privacy to talk.

They reach an empty classroom and Arthur closes the door behind them while Lucas checks to see if Manon is okay. “Are you alright?” Lucas wonders, quickly looking over his friend to make sure she doesn’t have any bruises. The guilt would eat him alive if that asshole had hurt her because of him. Sometimes he wishes his friends would just let him take what he deserves.

“I’m fine, Lucas. Are you okay? You’re the one who got a hit to the stomach. Are you bruised?” She is genuinely worried and he feels his heart warm a little bit.

Honestly, he hasn’t even taken a look at his stomach, but he gently applies pressure to his abdomen and finds that there’s no pain.

“Nope, no bruise,” Lucas reassures his friend who is eyeing him with concern, but let’s it go and he appreciates it. He knows she’s gonna do a mom check at the apartment tonight and he has to live with it. He can’t exactly avoid her. Not that he wants to, really. She’s always been by his side since...well, since Eliott left. Since he hurt himself to feel something, anything.

Lucas turns to Daphne and envelopes her in a hug, to which she accepts greatly. “Thank you so much Daphy. You were awesome.” He tightens his arms around her, he needs her to know how much what she did meant to him, especially since he didn’t expect her to do that for him.

“Of course, Lucas. We’re friends, right?” She pulls away and looks at him with wide, caring eyes. “That’s what friends do, right?”

He returns her stare and smiles for the first time in days. “Yeah, that’s what friends do.”

Daphy beams and wraps him in another hug and kisses him on the cheek. “I have to run to class, but message me later Lucas. Okay?” She asks and he can’t possibly say no.

“I’ll message you later, Daphy, I promise,” he answers, putting his hand over his heart.

“When do I get my hug of gratitude?” Lucas looks over and sees Arthur, who’s pouting just the slightest bit.

Lucas rolls his eyes and opens his arms. “Come here.” Arthur’s face lights up with a grin that dominates the rest of his facial features. He hugs Lucas far tighter than Lucas was hugging him.

“I’m glad you’re okay, Lucas. If that jerk comes back, he’s got more than one person to go through before he gets to you.”

God, Lucas was so lucky to have these friends with him, but he couldn’t help but think of how Yann looked at him this morning. He would’ve expected Yann to come to his rescue not Arthur, but, nevertheless, he’s still grateful. At least he still has a few people on his side.

“Thanks, dude. Can we talk later?” Lucas says softly, hoping Manon won’t hear.

“Sure, just don’t message me too late, alright?” Arthur responds. Lucas nods and Arthur leaves to head to his first class.

Then, there was just Lucas and Manon standing there alone. He doesn’t waste a single second. He lurches forward, scooping her up in his arms. “Thank you so so much. You could’ve gotten really hurt.”

“Yeah and?” She says nonchalantly, causing Lucas to chuckle.

“Please, next time, let me take what I deserve, okay?”

Manon escapes his grasp and looks at him, stunned. “Lucas, you think you deserved that? No one ever deserves that!” He should have known she was gonna say that, but honestly, he doesn’t want to have this conversation here, so he switches the topic.

“Alright, fine. Can we discuss this back at home?” He shifts on his feet.

“Okay, but you can’t escape him, Lucas Lallemant. I’m everywhere.” She waves her arms around, looking like an octopus. Lucas snorts.

“Not like I could escape you if I tried. We live in the same room.”

“Damn straight.” She smiles at him and salutes before leaving the room and Lucas.

Hopefully, he can get through the rest of the day without anymore incidents.

Lundi 17:00

Classes went by slow and it’s an understatement to say that Lucas is happy when he can finally gather his stuff and head home. He’s tired off all the people staring at him and laughing and making sexual jokes at him. He’s ready to hole himself up in his room and not come out. He may just hide under the blankets and ignore any attempt at social interaction. Who could blame him?

He’s shoving his unnecessary crap in his locker, when a large hand slams the locker closed. Lucas is about to tell the person to shove off, when he sees who it is. He swallows hard at the sight of the third year from this morning and two of his friends. They loom over Lucas and he has to admit that now he’s actually scared.

“Hey fag. Doesn’t look like you have any friends to protect you now.” He smiles maliciously, like he intends to take full advantage of the fact that the school was now empty. Lucas just ignores him and locks his locker up. He goes to leave when a hard shove forces him to the ground. He braces the fall with his arms, so that his head wouldn’t hit the tile floor. He’s on all fours, making his way to get back up when two feet puncture his sides. He swallows a yelp and lands on the floor, face first.

“How does it feel, fag? Getting what you deserve?” Two hands pick him up by the collar and slam his back against the lockers. He can feel the metal digging into his back and the friends of the third year collide with his abdomen. The wind is getting knocked out of him, he can’t breathe. Punch after painful punch, Lucas realizes they have no intention on stopping soon.

“Come on guys, hurt him where no one can see,” the guy says, voice laced with venom. The punches switch to his sides and the pain becomes too much. He finally makes noise, a small yelp passing through his lips, which seems to give the bullies more ammunition.

Within a few seconds, he hits the ground and nearly screams. Three feet are now impaling his torso with force and he scrunches up into a fetal position to protect himself.

After what feels like an infinity, the third years have gotten their fill. Right before they leave, one of them whispers in his year.

“No one’s gonna want to be around your gay ass ever again.”

Lucas sits in that for 20 minutes after they leave. He stops crying because his head is throbbing and he has to figure out a way to make it home. The last thing he wants is for people to see him like this.

He uses the last bit of energy he has left and hoists himself to his feet. His stomach is throbbing and he doesn’t want to look at the damage yet. It’ll only prevent him from getting to the apartment.

The first step he makes is steady. He breathes and it stings, but he tells himself he can make it. On the second step, he wobbles. He doesn’t make the third step. He smashes down to floor, screaming when his torso makes contact with the tile. He wails loudly, not caring who hears him because there isn’t anyone left in the school. He can’t move anymore, so he lays still, hoping the pain will dissipate. He closes his eyes and lets the tears stream.

He’s so tired. He’s alone. Maybe if he sleeps a bit he’ll have the strength to make his way home. So he sleeps.

His dreams are full of happy things and then turn sad. All his friends laughing with him are now laughing at him. The anxiety bubbles in the chest of dream Lucas, who is now reliving his encounter with the third years.

He dreams of someone picking him up off the cold floor.

Lucas (14) and Eliott (16)

Marti 15:09

To: Eliott (15:09)

The funniest thing happened in class today

To: Eliott (15:50)

Can I tell you about it?

To: Eliott (23:23)

Can I come over?

My parents are fighting again

Mercredi 04:43

To: Eliott (04:43)

Are you okay?

To: Eliott (19:39)

Please just let me know if you’re okay

Jeudi (09:30)

To: Eliott (09:30)

Class is boring, can we talk?

To: Eliott (18:18)

I know you’re upset with me, but my mom is freaking out

She’s throwing things and screaming

My dad left yesterday night and he hasn’t come back

To: Eliott (18:46)

Please Eliott, please talk to me. Please let me come over.

You don’t even have to talk to me

I’m just really scared

To: Eliott (23:50)

I miss you

please

Vendredi (00:59)

To: Eliott (00:59)

You promised you’d be there for me

Please tell me you still are

To: Eliott (02:11)

You promised

Vendredi 17:40

Lucas doesn’t go to school today. He stays home, wrapped in his warm blankets with his door locked. His dad left days ago and hasn’t returned. His living room is a mess, just like his bedroom, but it wasn’t a happy mess. Things were thrown haphazardly while his mother preaches and screams and wails. He doesn’t understand what’s happening, but he has no where else to go, so he stays in his room.

Even though there’s noise downstairs, which Lucas assumes is his mother destroying more of their house, all he can think about is Eliott.

Last weekend was the best weekend he’s ever had, but it ended abruptly. Eliott kicked him out and said he’d talk to him later. He never did though. Eliott had ignored all of his messages pleading for help because he was scared and alone and Eliott was the only one he could turn to. Now it seems like Eliott didn’t want him in his life at all. He cries at the thought of losing his best friend, his world. The ache is deep in his chest as he sobs silently, scared for someone to hear even though there’s no one around. He has to talk to his best friend, he has to find out what’s wrong.

He picks up his phone to message Eliott again, even though he hasn’t answered the last several times, Lucas hopes he might answer this time. A text comes through before he has the opportunity to pull up his conversation with Eliott.

From: Yann (17:56)

Party at Imane’s tonight, her brother’s hosting

To: Yann (17:56)

Not interested, thanks though

You have a good time with the guys

From: Yann (17:57)

Are you sure?

Eliott’s there

Check Imane’s snap

Lucas has never pulled up Snapchat so quickly before. It doesn’t load fast enough for Lucas’ liking, but it finally does, he clicks on Imane’s story. There Eliott is in all his glory, smiling like the sun and Lucas almost cries. He misses his best friend so much, but it doesn’t seem like his best friend misses him at all. He looks…happy.

Everything inside his chest breaks and the tears come. His best friend doesn’t miss him. Lucas probably looks like a fool texting him so much. He feels like an idiot. He doesn’t know what he did wrong. Eliott promised that he’d always be there for him through thick and thin. Lucas had to know why this was happening, why his best friend didn’t want him anymore.

To: Yann (18:09)

Meet you there in an hour

Vendredi 19:20

Lucas has to text Imane to get her address before he can storm in an confront his best friend about what was going on. He cries everything out before he leaves his house and splashes some water on his face to make himself look like a human again. He can’t even pretend that his eyes don’t show how much he’s cried. That’s not even worth a bother.

He arrives at Imane’s much sooner that he expects and sees his friends standing outside. They’re talking animatedly and when Arthur sees Lucas he bounces up and down and waves him over. Lucas joins the circle and is immediately enveloped by Yann’s knowing gaze. Lucas avoids it at all costs and recommends that they all go join the party.

The guys agree and enter the house as a foursome, taking in the back image of people dancing to loud music that one can almost see. Lucas has been to enough parties with the guys where he knows that they head for drinks first, to get a slight buzz of course, and then head to the dance floor where they put their hookup plans, that they made over a couple of beers, into action.

When the boys follow his predictions exactly, he knows he’s got them entirely figured out. He knows his friends too well, at this point. The opposite can be said for his best friend, though. All of them are buzzed and having fun as they enter the main area of the house where almost everyone is. Couples are dancing and grinding and making out and Lucas really wishes he didn’t have to look at it. He wants to be kissing Eliott again and holed up in his best friend’s bedroom, in their own little bubble. He really doesn’t want to be here.

Searching the crowd for Eliott serves no purpose because the house is packed. The boys have a hard time moving through the crowd as they find an area to dance together. Basile and Arthur are scoping the girls around them for ones to hookup with and Lucas immediately checks out of that conversation. Instead, he continues swaying his small frame to the beat of the thumping music as he thinks of what he’d say to Eliott if he sees him here. He’s debating whether or not it’s a good idea to talk to him while he’s a little drunk, but, ultimately, he doesn’t care. He’s going to call Eliott out on his bullshit. Lucas really hopes that he doesn’t start crying when it happens.

In the midst of his thoughts running rampant, Lucas gets separated from his friends and ends up searching for way back to them. He runs into a girl, Sarah, by accident and has to excuse himself while she’s flirting with him. Awkward.

He finally sees his friends across the room. Well, only Basile and Arthur, who are hunched together, probably strategizing on how to hookup with older girls. Yann has disappeared to god knows where, and Lucas couldn’t really be bothered as he sees a tall head of dark brown hair enter a room down the hall. He pushes through the crowd towards the slightly open door of what appears to be a bedroom. Lucas heart falters just slightly, but he continues going until he reaches the door. He doesn’t dare open it to reveal what’s inside, but rather he positions himself at the opening. He immediately regrets his decision.

Inside is his best friend. His best friend, that had kissed him, told him declarations of love, been intimate with him, was now actively kissing someone else. He was chasing another boy’s mouth like he had chased Lucas’ last weekend. His hands were holding the other boy steady, in place, close to his body. Lucas covers his mouth, so no one can hear his breathing. The tears are pooling, his body is shaking as he watches the person he thought he could have have someone else. Eliott wasn’t his and he never would be. To Eliott, he was just someone he could fuck. Someone he could get off with. Perhaps he’d never meant anything at all.

Lucas leaves when he sees them get comfortable on the bed, not being able to watch anymore. He’s crying and swimming through the masses of people, making sure to avoid anyone and everyone he knows. He feels like he can’t breathe. His chest is thumping and he’s still shaking and when he makes it outside and far enough away from the house, he collapses on the sidewalk.

He’d meant nothing. Lucas was nothing. He’d been disposed of. Lucas thinks that if last weekend hadn’t happened maybe this would be easier. He’d begun to figure that Eliott would leave him and make cooler friends, older friends, but not like this. Not after everything they’d went through last weekend.

Lucas hoists himself off the ground and walks aimlessly down the streets. He doesn’t turn, but just continues straight, not bothering to look where he’s going. His sadness evolves into anger after wandering for several minutes. He feels it bubbling in his bones, in his heart, in his being. Eliott let him believe he meant something. He let Lucas believe they could be happy, only to tear it away. To break his heart. To stomp on it with two feet. The best thing is that Eliott doesn’t know that Lucas saw him shove his tongue down another guy’s throat. Lucas tries not to imagine Eliott with someone else, but the image of him laying in bed with someone else makes his stomach lurch and his heart drop.

The street he’s walking down is lined with a fence. By the light of the streetlamps, he can see it’s a dark green color, slightly rusted, but decently well kept. He notices these as he’s facing it and holding his hand, which is bleeding from the knuckles. The fence didn’t deserve Lucas anger, but he had nowhere else to put it. Despite it bleeding, he keeps punching and punching it until the pain in his heart is less than the throbbing in his hand. The tears don’t stop and he inches down to the ground, leaning up against the fence.

Unable to count the minutes that are going by, Lucas just sits there. He sits for who knows how long. Time seems slow and fast and everything in between. He just sits there.

A silhouette appears from the direction in which he came and as the face gets closer, he recognizes it as one from a girl in his year. He thinks her name is Manon. She leans down at his side once she reaches him.

“Are you alright, Lucas?” Her features are soft under the pale light of the street lamps. He thinks she looks genuine. He nods and she doesn’t take that answer when she notices his hand. “What happened to your hand?” She takes it in hers and looks down at it with severe concern. “We need to get you to a doctor, or the hospital.”

He shakes his head rapidly, despite the headache that’s beginning to develop. He knows he can’t afford to go into hospital, not with his mom being in the state that she is and with his dad having left them to their own devices. “Please, I can’t go to the hospital, or a doctor. I promise, I’m fine.” He pushes her away and tries to avoid her gaze and he stands up and clutches his hand that pulsates after being used to stabilize himself.

“Lucas, that hand needs to get looked at. You could get an infection.” She’s worried and it shows. Lucas appreciates it, but he doesn’t even know her that well. She can’t care about him very much. She should just leave him like Eliott did.

“I’m fine, Manon. I’ll take care of it at home,” he insists, hoping she’ll take it and leave him alone.

“Okay, if that’s want you want.” He breathes a sigh of relief, knowing that he’ll be alone again soon, but what comes out of Manon’s mouth surprises him slightly. “If you don’t want that, my apartment is just a few blocks away. I don’t know where you live, but if you want to spend the night at my place, my roommates are out. Plus, it may save you a trip home this late.” She smiles gently at him.

He weighs his options and ultimately decides that it may be best just to spend the night outside of his house. He needs a place to deal with himself first before going back to handle the situation at home. He nods at her. “Okay, but only if you don’t mind.”

Manon smiles wide and Lucas smiles back. “I don’t mind at all, that’s why I offered.” She takes off her dainty scarf and offers it to Lucas. “Here, wrap your hand in this to clot the blood. We’ll take care of your hand when we get to my apartment.”

“I don’t want to ruin your scarf,” he says genuinely. Her hands then take the scare and wrap Lucas’ still bleeding hand in it and ties it.

“I can always wash it. It’s a pretty old scarf anyway, now come on.” Manon begins walking and Lucas follows swiftly behind her. It doesn’t take long before they arrive at her apartment.

They work together to bandage his hand and end up staying up for hours after talking about lots of things. He doesn’t expect to start crying while talking to someone he’s having a real conversation with for the first times. Manon envelopes Lucas with her small arms and somehow they end up in her room, in her bed, holding each other. He realizes this is exactly what he needs and lets all the emotions out. He sobs and asks her how to mend a broken heart that he knows can’t ever be fixed and she squeezes him tighter while her small voice fills the silence between them.

“I don’t have an answer, but I’ll be here while you figure one out.”

Samedi (01:01)

From: Unknown Number

Hi Lucas, it’s Eliott. I’ve had time to think and it might be best right now if we take a break from each other? I’m sorry it took me so long to talk to you. We just aren’t a good fit romantically and I’m still your best friend, but I need some time away from you. It’ll be better for both of us, I promise.

#7k words later I'm finally here again #sorry it took me so long but this chapter was a monster #a beast #i was not prepared for how much #this chapter stole my soul #elu #elu fic #lucas x eliott #eliott demaury #Lucas Lallemant #skam france #skam fr #skamfr

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