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duskyashe · 2 years

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NaNoWriMo Day #9

[masterlist]

Prompt found here

Thanks @stealingyourbones!

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There were a lot of old, weird, or old and weird things Tim's parents had picked up over the years, but his favorite was the ornate, almost delicate looking mirror in the entry hall. Most of the time, it was just a very fancy mirror, but at three am, when he's just pulling himself back in from a night of photographing vigilantes, it showed something different, something not of this realm. Of course, it didn't always happen; when it was especially overcast out or it was a new moon, the mirror wouldn't show the swirling green void with the occasional floating purple door. But when conditions were just right, he would sit on the chaise across the entry hall, and watch as doors drifted in and out of the mirror's view until he fell asleep.

He'd just sat down with his homework to finish a few last problems before laying back to watch the mirror, when something... Different happened. He heard an echoey voice, coming from the mirror of all things.

"What the—? I could have sworn this was a mirror earlier... Why are you showing the entry hall of a manor? And at night, no less... Is that—is that a kid?" Tim looked away from the mirror at that, then froze. If whoever was on the other side of the mirror was seeing him, then him moving in response to them talking was beyond stupid, why did he do that? "Ah frick, kid, can you hear me?"

Tim did his best not to move or show he could, in fact, hear the other person. He'd gone on an internet spiral a few months back and ended up learning all kinds of things about fey-like beings and creatures, and he was fairly certain that responding to someone, or something, that was talking to him through a freaking mirror would bring nothing good to him.

"Right, stupid question, even if you could, who knows what's showing on your end of whatever connection this is. For all I know, you can't see anything at all, and you're just hearing a disembodied voice in your entry hall. That would freak anyone out, so yeah, I'll give you a pass on answering that... Though I would like to know why you're awake at, what, two, three in the morning? Just going off the position of the moon in the window and the fact I doubt you're anywhere in Asia with a house like that." Tim rolled his eyes without meaning to and cringed at the cry of victory his interaction invoked. Ohh, he was going to get himself into so much trouble, he could just tell.

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Over the course of the next few weeks, Tim cautiously started interacting more with the voice from the mirror, who'd introduced himself as Danny the next night. Tim had yet to work up the nerve to verbally respond, no matter how many quips or sarcastic remarks he had to bite back, but tonight was different.

The past week and a half had mostly been a bust on vigilante stalking hunting, but today he'd leaned why. Jason Todd was dead. He was dead and his funeral had been announced during the evening news. Considering how Batman had nearly beaten Joker to death two nights ago, Tim was willing to bet the Clown Prince of Crime was at fault. Jason his Robin was dead and he wasn't coming back and—

"Woah, hey kid, I don't know what's wrong, but I need you to take a deep breath for me, alright? Can you breath in—hold—and breath out, that's it, breath in—hold—and breath out, a few more times for me buddy, breath in—that's it—and breath out, breath in—you've got this—and out, one more time, breath in—there we go—and out. There, much better, right?"

Tim nodded, shakily rubbing at his tears as sobs shook his chest. At least he could breath, now. "Jason's-s de-ead," he managed through the emotions lodged in his throat. "My-my neighbor's kid, J-Jason, is dead, a-and he has been fo-or almost a-a week." And I didn't know, was unspoken.

Danny cursed softly and let out a sigh. "I'm sorry to hear that, were the two of you close?"

He shook his head, nearly making himself dizzy with how hard and fast he was shaking it. "No," he grunted, "we weren't, b-but I really looked u-up to h-him. He was doing things I could only hope to be able to do, a-and he was h-helping so many people, but now he can't anymore because he's dead, and I can't do anything about it! His dad's in so much pain right now, but I can't help him cuz he doesn't know me and I barely know him, but R-Jason was my hero and I want to help, but I don't know how!" Tim was breathing heavily by the end of his tirade, his eyes burning and his head throbbing, but no longer actively crying, so that was something. Focusing on his breathing, he slowly unclenched his hands. He hung his head in defeat as he whispered brokenly, "I never know how to help."

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Over the next few months, Danny and Tim talked as much as they possibly could, making plans and figuring out all the ways those plans could, and likely would, go wrong. Through careful questions and even more careful answers, Tim had revealed that Jason had an older brother who might be able to help him help Bruce, so Danny had taught Tim how to approach to a grieving older sibling for help. Tonight was the culmination of all their preparation.

Tim took a deep breath before releasing it. Well, he thought, here goes nothing. He stepped forward and knocked on Dick Grayson's door.

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Well. I'm not exactly happy with that ending, but I started writing this really last minute, plus I made dinner at one point, so ¯⁠\⁠_⁠༼⁠ ⁠ಥ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠ಥ⁠ ⁠༽⁠_⁠/⁠¯ this is what came of it! It got pretty angsty cuz I kinda didn't have an actual plan for this beyond "Tim likes to look at the ghost zone through his magic mirror, but Danny is a chatterbox and wants to protect the little kid on the other side" and I needed somewhere for this to actually go, so boom. Tim's first steps towards becoming Robin with a spooky twist (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ I feel like now would be a good time to mention I don't actually know the actual timeline of when Jason died and Bruce nearly killed Joker in response, let alone how long it took Tim to go to Dick with his concerns, so if things were too rushed or out of order, I apologize and claim creative liberty (⁠；⁠^⁠ω⁠^⁠）

Now, obviously, with Danny's influence, Tim will have a different story from here on out. Danny has become a confidant for Tim, even though Tim's never actually seen Danny, so eventually Danny's going to find out about the vigilante thing and start training Tim in other skills he'll need to be successful (things a human can replicate (⁠◠⁠‿⁠◕⁠)) which will likely broaden his skill set quicker in my humble opinion. Not sure if I'll add more to this, though, so if anyone has thoughts, please, add them!

Have a good morning/day/night!

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theunderscoresquip · 22 days

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BE MORE CHILL AU. IDK A BIT(?) LONG

`Jeremy.`

He shot awake, panting. Damnit, not again— Jeremy must've been scaring himself at this point. He checked the clock; so early, but why? It's almost as if his body had been purposefully doing this, waking him up as if the Squip was waiting *right* there, and was getting impatient. Regardless, couldn't happen. He had felt it, *heard it*. All the Squips had been deactivated, and his Squip was no exemption to that. Thank god Micheal had Code Red on standbye, with what could've happen— Another code red would have arised without it.

He wondered, because he had some extra time, why not think about everything? It had only been a week, yet everything felt fresh in his mind. But he felt so detached from it. Who would believe it, though? That some supercomputer had just lodged himself into his brain, and nearly took over the entire school? Or.. Attempted to? No way.

Usually, he didn't enjoy being alone with his thoughts. Today was different though. It hurt his brain though. Why had *his* Squip tried to take over the world? After having him less than a week. He became so aggressive. He had mentioned he was a learning computer, said he was faulty. Rich apparently had his for nearly 3 years, and nothing huge had happened.

❝ WATASHI..

WA.. NIHON KARA KIMASHITA! ❞

He groaned, it didn't concern him. He reached for his laptop; though, muscle memory was going against him, as he swore he felt a little shock. Like a program, he stopped this action immediately. He took a breath in. Squip had at least fixed ONE part of his life.

School time. He was still considered a popular kid, well, saving the school and all! He was laughing, and having fun. They even brought their own drinks! And almost as he had forgotten, he took a swig of mountain dew.

Wait, hah! Didn't even matter. The Squip was gone, what was a little Mountain Dew going to do to him? He took it all down like he had been triple-dog-dared to (the highest of encouragements), and smiled. It had always been one of his favourite sodas.

He had stayed a little bit later for extra help, just with math homework he wasn't a big fan about. The only people left were teachers. He assumed everybody else was embarrassed to be aided, whatever! He strutted down the hallway with pride, he felt so amazing, proud of himself. He didn't need a SQUIP, he didn't need anything. He had always been good, it just took a little push. And his best friend!

Suddenly, he felt pulses of electricity go through his body. It felt like he was going through a panic attack while getting electrocuted, and it wasn't so great for his motor skills. He fell to his knees, quivering. He couldn't support himself any longer though, his body gave out on himself as he laid there gasping for air. Tears welling in his eyes. It stopped, as suddenly as it came. But his body was still shivering from the aftershocks of it all. Wiping his eyes, he slowly opened them. Having not gotten up yet, he saw something peculiar no further than a few feet away. Maybe two.

Pixels, stacking ontop of eachother from bottom to top like Lego bricks infront of him. They emitted an electric cyan glow, which breifly pulsed red. Even they seemed disoriented, as they went through the entire spectrum before stopping themselves on the same sharp blue they had been previously.

`Get up.`

A voice demanded. Jeremys body felt light as he automatically did so. Sitting up. He wiped his eyes, and placed his glasses back on. His eyes widened, as he took a step back.

"No. Nonono."

`Oh, yesyesyes. Deny it all you want. Plug your ears, and attempt to tune me out. But I am back.`

His breathing spiked, as he started to shake as if he had been shocked again.

"Stop. Stop! I'm- I'm hallucona—"

`Stop speaking to me out loud. You look pathetic.`

He took a sharp inhale in, he still remembered SQUIPS commands from that week ago. 'Just think at me, like you're telepathic.' were his words.

Sadly, Jeremy was pathetic and incapable of doing so. SQUIPS stoic and eerily robotic face contorted to slight annoyance, clearly being aware of this fact.

`Let's try something different.`

His appearance went completely black, as the shadow morphed to one of much shorter stature. It glitched, and went completely cyan. Before it reached it's achieved goal.

There SQUIP stood, having taken the appearance of a shorter, teen-like, more approachable. Man? Woman? Jeremy couldn't tell. Mainly masculine, though.

`" Is this better for you? "`

Ew. His voice didn't sound bad, just different without the whole dude-bro-keanu thing going on. He sounded normal, though. For a teen. **[[POV SWITCH I HATE 3RD PERSON SOMETIMES]]**

He gripped on my collar as he pulled me down, my breath hitched and I felt my face go red. Being so close to him felt no different to the other times, especially when he told me to take him inside me— Forever? But I muttered out a response.

"I, I have so many questions."

Didn't seem to ever be good enough for *him* though, because he let go and placed his hands on his hips.

`" I'm aware "`

I opened my mouth to speak, but he leaned forward and put his finger up to my lips, shushing me. He felt like pure static electricity, which made me flinch back.

`" Shh, I already know your first question. 'Oh SQUIP, why are you here?' "`

He was.. Mocking me, clearly.

`"Well, have you already forgotten. Jeremy? I never expected you to be so forgetful. When you drink mountain dew,

It ALWAYS turns me on."`

I panicked, my face flushed even redder. I could cosplay the Mountain Dew Code Red at this point.

"You- You m-mean like. *Activating*, right?—"

`"I said what I said."`

**WHAT?!** What was that supposed to mean? I mean, I always knew SQUIP had this *thing* for making weird innuendos with me. It was confusing, especially with how he harbours such a hate for 'activities which require tissues and lotion', if you know what I mean.

"E-Excuse m—"

`"What did I say about stuttering? We need a complete overhaul on your personality, once more. Now, come along. Let's go home."`

"What?- I, can everyone see you?"

`"In this form, yes."`

"I can't just, bring some random student home with me!"

`"Tell your father I'm an exchange student, or, Infact, don't elaborate at all. I'm sure he'd be glad you've spoken to anyone who isn't online. Infact, do you know that most of the girls you speak to online are actually old m—"`

I groaned. "Okay! Okay I will!"

I finally went home, him trailing behind me slowly. My dad hadn't even been paying attention to me when I came back home. I guess we didn't need his little plan after all. When I got back up, I stretched out and laid on my bed. As SQUIP prodded and poked at the rest of my things. His body shifted once more, to his default appearance.

"Why didn't you just do that before?! Are you trying to get on my nerves."

`"That isn't important, now. Are you still single?"`

"I *was* dating Christine, but we just.. Work out better as friends."

`"Good."`

"..What?"

`"Being single is good."`

"Didn't you say the exact opposite last time..?"

`"That was V2.5. I am currently V4. I am updated, different, improved. Unlike you."`

I flipped over and burried my head into my pillow

"Just go.."

`"Refrain from speaking to me that way. Sit up."`

And than I felt it, again. my body merely obeying his command, and sitting up straight. But, before I could ask that. Another question rang through my head—

"—Hey. If green mountain dew activates you, and red deactivates.. What do the other colours do?"

His outer glow of the standard electric blue pulsed. He seemed off guard, causing his usually unsettlingly empty expression to shift to one of shock, before easily collecting himself. I guess he had not been expecting that one.

`"Well. Voltage causes temporary energy, Major Melon increases strength temporarily, Spark gives you the ability to shock me, Baja Blast cause me to become lenient, DEW-S-A greatly confuses me; scrambles me up, Live Wire makes me speak much more, Pitch Black blinds me, Throwback gives me an annoyingly 90's vocabulary, SuperNova causes me to get romantic, White Out causes a temporary memory wipe, Ultra Violet gets me emotional; positively, Holiday brew gets me emotional; negatively, Dewshine turns me invisible, Sangrita Blast renders me capable of controlling you completely, Violet causes me to revert to Japanese, Spring Bloom increases eyesight, and Voo-DEW causes a random mashup of any/either of the others abilities."`

#be more chill jeremy #be more chill squip #be more chill au #be more chill #bmc au #bmc jeremy #bmc squip #bmc musical #bmc #squip #jeremy heere #squipemy #the squip #a squip #jeremy squip #jeremy x squip #jeremy

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the-heaminator · 10 months

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“Dammit please don’t start crying” for the na bros 🙏🏽

I dont write enough of these two, let's change that, context of au in the tags

Nothing was going to plan right now, absolutely nothing, they had burned the cake to smithereens, it tasted fine, at least that's what Arthur said, but his taste buds were not to be taken seriously, and besides it looked quite like a cowpat.

He had gone off to stall Ivan somewhere, he was a good liar so they believed that he would be able to, Jack and Eleanor had been taken care of via an afterschool club that ran till 6, most ran till 4:30, but the science club was having its awards ceremony today so they were dealt with through an almost uncanny twist of fate.

Now it was up to those two to keep everything together, and both were failing miserably, Arthur had told them just to, in his words "Don't set the house on fire, flood it or find another way to destroy it." Those were his exact words, at least he wasn't expecting very much, though for Matthew at least that made it worse, not entirely sure why himself, but it made it worse.

Alfred knew Matthew tended to get volatile when under this kind of pressure, easily the most rational of all 6 of them, but even he had his moments, and by how anxious and fidgety he was now, this seemed like it was getting to be one of those moments, it was best to avoid him in such situations, Alfred knew this, off by heart nearly, it had happened enough times before that he knew what he was doing.

Matt was rushing about at almost a dizzying speed, pacing in the way Alfred usually did when excited, though more fevered, and of course, far less joyous, even sitting his leg was bouncing up and down irritatingly fast, Father had always been harder on Matthew than he had been on him, Alfred may have been the oldest, but he needed the spare to be even better, that was years ago, Father was dead now, but the remnants of that were still present, Arthur and Ivan's standards were odd, likely because they hadn't interacted with children for decades before them, their whole thing was that they could be really good at what they liked to do and be good enough to get decent grades at.

Matt had loosened up a lot under this system, because even under the agency, the teachers there were teachers of adults, they expected more of him than he was comfortable to provide, Alfred could usually keep up, and Jack wasn't expected to just yet, and he was stuck in the middle.

Matthew had gone pale.

This was not good, he stilled too, deep breath, that failed, he started to pace again, went up to his room, and closed the door behind him. Fuck.

Alfred rushed upstairs, Matthew had barricaded the door, he spoke through it, he was loud enough "Dammit, Mattie please don't start crying, let me in?"

Matthew didn't want to, he was being foolish, stupid, a fucking idiot, but he did anyways, Alfred immediately grabbed him and didn't let him go for a while, he may have not had the most tact when it came to...just about everything, but sure as hell could he try, Matthew was taller than him already, lanky bastard he was, Matthew stilled, either to do with comfort or because Alfred was stronger than he looked and his ribs were being abused.

A wet cough "Alfred...!"

He let go, "Are you good bro?"

"Yes, yes, I'll be fine."

He could hear Jack coming into the driveway, this was not good "Mattie, calm down dude."

"I am calm now, you are the one panicking Alfred?"

"Right, right." The door opened, Alfred and Matthew snuck down, Matthew's eyes were still a little red, Arthur caught the slightly wet look Matt had going on, but had absolutely no idea why that was the case, had he hurt himself?

The house was still in one piece and a twice over showed nothing, Ivan was occupied by Jack and Eleanor excitedly telling him something about snakes, Arthur caught their eyes and tried to question, Matthew shook his head and looked up the stairs, this was to be discussed later, but for now, the planning had to commence.

#Hws canada #Hws america #Hws England #Hws Russia #Hs New Zealand #Hws Australia #Spy au #the heam writes #Goliath!#Ok so context. You dont need much of it #basically in this au Alfred matt jack and zee (eleanor) had their parents killed by the spy agency that Arthur and Ivan work at #and bc arthur and Ivan are like in their late 40s at this point (it starts with them being like 47 to 48 and will end with them at lik52 to #they cannot physically deal other the demands of the job as well anymore and they get delegated to be informants #going undercover as a married couple with 4 kids. The kids being the ones mentioned prior but like Arthur and Ivan end up getting real real #And it's just like here its ivans birthday and everything's going to shit #Alfred is 14 matt is 13 jack is 10 and eleanor is 7 #I'm so sorry this took so long

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aleprouswitch · 11 months

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C-PTSD/Trauma discussion under the cut.

In January 2009, I was sexually assaulted by a then-close friend and then almost abducted from a public park just a few days later. I was also dealing with another situation I don't want to elaborate on, but all three of these things severely fucked me up. I had a nervous breakdown and the PTSD I was likely already suffering from due to things from my childhood/teen years got more severe. I was having panic attacks, sometimes violent ones, and was developing some worrying habits and behaviors.

So many of my "friends", my ex-boyfriend, and even my own mother made me feel like shit during this time of my life. My mom called my panic attacks "tantrums" and often belittled me over them. My friends would talk behind my back about how I had "changed" and I wasn't the same person anymore. I was treated either like a joke - something to make fun of - or like I was a burden, or like I was somebody that people had to tolerate. I would find posts online from people I thought loved and cared about me where I found out I was lied to, referred to as a waste of space, dead weight, etc.

This is exactly what my song "Breathing Dust" is about. I was too poor to live on my own and had to live in a dilapidated house with my mother during this nervous breakdown time, a house filled with black mold, dust, roaches, cigarette smoke, the whole nine yards, and on top of it all, my mom was very fanatically religious and kept chalking up all of my problems to me leaving the Catholic church. I did everything I could to get out of that house, including spending time with these "friends" and my ex who just treated me like garbage.

I wasn't formally diagnosed with PTSD or C-PTSD until November 2017. It took that long for a therapist to finally figure out that I was a deeply traumatized person and needed help. Since then I have been placed on medication that has helped me tremendously and gotten the therapy and psychiatric help that I needed. My relationship with my mom is much better. I live in my own apartment with my partner of nearly 11 years and we both have good jobs. I have friends who genuinely love me and support me in everything I do. Life has gotten so much better and I'm thankful every single day.

This morning though...something happened that was a huge trigger for my C-PTSD and it was part of a situation that's been playing out for months. I don't want to go into details on main, but I've been treated like a joke by a couple of people in a very similar way to how I was treated all those years ago, and this morning I just broke. I rarely ever cry or have breakdowns/panic attacks anymore (which I'm so grateful for), but this morning I couldn't contain the wave of emotion I felt. I spent an hour crying and shaking and feeling so small, feeling like I wasn't taken seriously or seen as someone deserving of respect.

I've had to fight to remind myself that yes, I AM loved by the people who really know me. I AM strong. I AM a survivor. I AM worthy of love and respect. Two shitty people can't make me feel like I'm not worth the love and respect that I know I deserve. I might have have a meltdown today, but it is NOT a setback for my mental health journey. Everybody breaks down sometimes . It's okay. I am strong enough in myself to get through this because I know that the things a minority of people say are not true.

By talking about this, I hope that maybe some of you can relate and find hope, too. If you're in a place where I was a few years ago where every day feels like a fight to stay alive, or if you've recently had a meltdown that feels like a setback from all of the mental and emotional progress you've made - you're not alone and it's okay. I'm busy a lot of the time, but you can talk to me if you need to. I might not answer right away, but I will answer you.

We're in this together.

#personal #don't reblog

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gamerbearmira · 2 years

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The town had a vague idea about what happened. They all heard the screams. They all saw the storm that nearly tore apart the village.

They knew there was only one reason for the Madrigals to act like that. Something happened to Mirabel. Sweet innocent five year old Mirabel who didn't get her gift three months ago but whose family absolutely adored her anyways.

They didn't see any of the Madrigals for a month after the storm. Not a single sign of them. They figured they were all holed up in Casita with Mirabel. And they knew whatever happened wasn't good. It was still raining and storming hard for a month after all.

Not until today when it cleared up a little bit. The storm stopping slowly and the rain and snow mix still falling but not as hard.

So one brave or foolish person decided to be tribute and go up to Casita.

Upon knocking gently on the door, it was answered by a darkly glaring Dolores who snarled at him like a feral beast and slammed it in his face.

The townspeople waited another day or two before an accident with a drunken fight left two men with black eyes and broken hands.

They went up to Casita to get some food from Julieta. They knocked on the door and Alma was the one to answer it this time with a dark look on her face and a scared five year old clutching her skirt.

Mirabel. They realized. And they looked at her surprised but didn't have long to look since Alma spat that they wouldn't help the village at all for the coming months if not years. Not after what someone dared do to little Mirabel.

They were confused. The girl seemed okay if scared and quiet.

But as Alma threw them to the ground physically and began to slam the door in their faces they saw it and their faces went as pale as Pepas.

Across Mirabels neck was a horrid jagged red scar.

Someone had tried to slash her throat and made a damn good attempt at it.

HELLO??? I WENT TO COOK DINNER AND COME BACK TO TJIS WAHHHHH 😭😭👊💥

My heart, or rather, what’s left of it, as been lit on fire. I am now currently sobbing into a pillow.

SHE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING. SHE,,,,,SHES TOO NICE FOR THAT,,,,WHYYYYYYYY. THE VILLAGE DESERVES IT.

please tell me they get the person who did it, I need. I need closure, or I may never recover from the emotional damage of this.

I’m gonna go cry for a while

#encanto #my asks are open #my asks #encanto au #au #encanto mirabel #cut throat mirabel au #cut throat #protective madrigals au

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unethicalexperiments · 1 year

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idk how to really start this but like. my mental state is just so exhausting like im so tired of it. theres no reason i should be this volatile theres no reason i should react to situations the way i do. just last night i had a weird (not even that bad) interaction with a stranger and it pissed me off so much i tried to kill myself. i wasn't sad or embarrassed i was just so furious over it, because it was a 10 second interaction and i couldn't explain myself to the other person, and i was just so fucking angry i was ready to physically hurt the other person over it well after i walked away. and then once i got home i was so upset that i got that unreasonably angry over a nothing interaction. and its not like i even got angry while i was still with the other person! it wasnt until after i walked away! there were only two thoughts circling in my mind for about 30-60 minutes after (idk im so bad at keeping track of time) that were just "why do i react to things like this" and "i just want it to stop hurting" bc thats the worst of it it just hurts so much. i swear im in physical pain after having breakdowns like that i feel hollow in my chest and obviously i dont have to say anything else about how much it emotionally hurts. i just want it to stop hurting. is that really too much to ask for? to not be in so much pain for just a little while? i guess i still havent come to terms with the fact that im disabled, because i still think of being disabled as someone who uses aids, even though i know invisible disabilities are a thing. i dont see other peoples invisible disabilities as being invalid, just really my own, because i still feel like im high enough functioning that i shouldnt consider myself disabled. i dont use mobility aids yet i dont take pain medication yet so therefore the literal brain damage i have isnt bad enough, im still fine. i kind of got off track but thats also part of it i guess. another thing that really gets me is the fact that i actually do have bpd, i was diagnosed by an actual doctor at 17 and its still a more than valid diagnosis. i feel like im in this constant cycle of "i have to get better because i cant keep living like this" and "i have to get worse so everyone else can see what theyve done to me". like last night i literally had to sit down and reread the dsm chapter on bpd to remind myself this is why youre like this. you do have this diagnosis its real and it is a problem. my 30 minute episodes of actively trying to kill myself to be followed by watching tv or something and laughing as if none of that happened. i still cant fathom not living like this, not having to go through this every fucking day. and then on the other hand i had a great interaction today at my job that made me feel really good about what i do and proving the work that i do is actually helping the community around me. and i felt on top of the world for like an hour, i felt great! and then another thing at work happened where i proved myself/my team to be right about something! which was also great! and i got another half hour of happiness. and then i get home and im reminded of how alone i am, how i really have no one to do or share anything with anymore. which is partially my fault and partially not! im not gonna act like im the most pleasant person to be around or that im easy to deal with, but fuck, man, i try. and it always feels like no one else is trying. i cut my own hair for the first time a few weeks ago; it came out great! and had no one to tell about it.

and now im just staring at a wall over all of it. none of the bad stuff happened none of the good stuff happened. im gonna get violently angry later and im gonna be nearly euphoric later, its just another day. and i want to change i want to change my lifestyle so bad but how can i do that without any help. i spent years of my life begging for other people to help me and got ignored, which resulted in my disability. i tried so hard to fix it on my own but i couldnt! im not a doctor! and now ill never be because i couldnt finish my pre-med classes because of my disability! i feel like im constantly screaming at the top of my lungs and waving red flags shouting please for the love of god someone help me every day and every day nothing changes. they say you cant help someone who doesnt want to be helped, but has anyone actually tried helping people before? youre telling me you cant problem solve? you cant find a different road to a solution, just because we cant take the easiest one? im sorry that its not easy for everyone else to help me, but how does anyone else think i feel?

but whatever. im fine now. i relived every emotion i went through while writing all that but im fine now. now that its all out there its all out there, out of my system. i dont care anymore. because it didnt matter. because it doesnt matter. none of it matters. it happened and its gonna happen again. ill go through these cycles again tomorrow and the next day and the next week and the next month and the next year and so on. it is what it is i guess. but does it really have to be.

#talking to myself #content warning for like. borderline personality disorder. i guess.#this is just a wall of text bc i wont go back to therapy no one feel obligated to open or read this

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irislabslive · 1 year

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The End.

February 28th, 2022. I feel as if a chapter is ending. I just started the new one. I spent three days doing the things I used to do. I fucked up my shoulder in the pit in a basement in New Paltz on Friday night. I screamed and pushed and kicked and didn't cry.

I woke up Saturday sore, but ready to do it all again. I keep opening Instagram to a combination of anger and love. It hurts seeing what you should be doing if last summer went differently. But it happened and it sucked and even the good moments weren't worth it.

I drove by the rest area my first real boyfriend dumped me over Twitter DM at when I was 18. I don't encounter this area often but when I do, it's like that 18-year-old girl is still there stuck in her shock. Stuck in her pain. You only get that kind of love when you're young and stupid. I'll admit, I miss it sometimes, it was like something out of a movie. But love isn't a movie.

In 7 days it will be my 24th birthday. I am terrified. My 23rd birthday was the most bittersweet day of the year. Bittersweet isn't the right word though. Painful is.

It feels like I'm still in that day sometimes, I woke up early like I always do on my birthday. I had planned to see my Nanny, my aunt, and my dad during the day. I didn't see my dad but that was okay. I woke up to no birthday texts from my aunt or my dad. That's when I knew something was wrong.

I went to my Aunt's house to my Uncle being the only one there. He told me my Nanny was dying. I'm in shock. I'm still in shock. I want to see her and talk to her and hug her so bad. I want her to kiss my cheek and ask me to take her to get zippers for whatever baby sweater she's crocheting now.

I never had any grandfathers. They were never alive in my life so I only had my two grandmothers. This is kicking me in the stomach. Nanny was 93 years old. I rushed to the nursing home she had been in since September when she had a stroke and my aunt found her sitting on the couch covered in blood with a pool of blood on the floor as well. We'll never know what happened to Nanny that day. She had a stroke. I would visit her every day I wasn't working.

Covid had her nursing room on lockdown for almost a month, maybe it was more I can't remember - I just remember it being horrible.

During my visits, Nanny would have a round of questions she always asked. Are you working? Where are you working? Do you have a boyfriend? Yes. A few places. No. She asked me a few weeks prior the last question and I wanted to tell her about my love story, leaving out all the details that made it seem like I was being manipulated and abused. I'd talk about our first kiss when he took my breath away and how long we've known each other and all the nights on Skype. But that was half a decade ago and what I was getting now was not the same person as all those years ago.

My birthday. Back to my birthday. I had made plans to see him that night. We hadn't seen each other in nearly a year. He booked a hotel room. I was supposed to have a good birthday. But here I was staring at Nanny, tears in my eyes. She didn't look the same as she did a few days earlier.

The week prior she said something to me and my aunt that can only be described as eerie. She saw this face. She kept seeing this face that wasn't there. It felt like a bullet. But today she was barely conscious. I held her hand for a little bit. It hurt. I sat there for a little bit until my aunt asked me to bring her back home to get her car and come back. I remember saying bye to Nanny. I told her that I loved her and walked out with my aunt. It hurt.

I told him what was happening and I just needed that support. I stopped at my mom's house and told my brother. He was taken aback. I went back to my apartment and got on a silly little outfit. I needed to wear something that made me feel good. It was cold that day. I didn't care. I got in my car with all my things and drove. 2 hours. I got to him, got out of my car, and kissed him. I needed to kiss him more than anything. He held me for a moment. I felt okay for a second.

The entire evening we spent together I was terrified of getting the call. He kept me pretty calm. His intentions that day were so much like the first time around. He cared so much. I couldn't sleep much that night but sleeping next to him for the first time was peaceful. I kept tossing and turning and checking my phone every few minutes. Nothing. Silence. The silence was scarier. He woke up at some point and eventually calmed me down and held me til I fell asleep. At least I had this support tonight. Most nights it is just Jasper and I. I wish I could've brought Jasper to see Nanny. She would've loved to get to pet him and give him treats one last time. That's her great-grandkitty.

I woke up the next day. Nothing. Still silence. I was too scared to ask.;

I found out after my aunt and my dad were counting down the minutes to midnight hoping that she wouldn't die on my birthday.

I eventually kissed him goodbye and got in my car and drove home. I was exhausted. I kept trying to force myself to go back to the nursing home. I was too depressed. I fell asleep eventually. Between the physical and emotional pain, I was half alive. I get the call at 5:40pm. When I saw Aunt Eileen pop up on my phone my heart sank. I think I had tears before I answered.

The silence was over. There was an eerie sense of peace. Nanny was okay.

But I wasn't. I cried for hours. My mom called me to check in on me. I was still crying. She took me out to lunch a few hours earlier to try and calm me down. I couldn't be calm. This hurt.

So in one week, it will be one year since my 23rd birthday. It will be my 24th birthday. I am trying to stay positive and trying to make plans so I don't have to be sad on my birthday.

Between the memories of my abusive relationship before it got physical. Between my Nanny dying. Between just hanging on. I'm trying.

But it's as if a cycle ended. I feel so different.

I am not crying over losing him anymore. I actually for the first time, feel a little something for someone else and am excited about the future. There's so much on the horizon. Last month I got a new car and this weekend I gave it a taste of the "old" me that I lost for a little bit. I made friends on my own, I went out, and I started hanging out again. When I drove by his exits on the highway I remembered, but it didn't hurt anymore. He didn't destroy me this time. I am free.

March is going to busy. My year is picking up again, I am getting my shit together still, but it's mostly little things at this point. I am listening to my body. I am trying to find motivation. I am okay. I am free.

I have lots of exciting and scary things coming up but I am doing the damn thing. I feel so free.

#domestic violence survivor #healing #self help #self healing #grandparent death #new cycle #I feel so free #healing is hard

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strangerquinns · 3 years

Note

How about more of the nanny where seb starts to divorce his wife

The Nanny Masterlist | Part Five

It was nearly a month later when things started to work into motion. You continued to work for the Stan family and watch Madeline. The pull you felt towards Sebastian just grew more and more. There were moments he'd come home before Lysia, Madeline already in bed, giving you two alone time. He'd pull you to him and kiss you deeply before the two of you ended up upstairs. He'd fuck you till your legs were shaking and you were overtaken by exhaustion. Being with you seemed to bring motivation to Sebastian to finally take the step to divorce his wife.

He woke up one morning and the first thing he did was contact his lower to draw up the papers to set the things in motion, sending the evidence of the years that Lysia cheated on him. He knew that now he wasn't much better since he was having an affair with you, but the affairs that Lysia was having exceeded the last few years.

He went through his days like nothing was happening, coming home from work to see you sitting in the living room watching a movie with Madeline. The little girl nearly tripped over herself as she rushed towards her father and wrapped her small arms around him.

"Oh, I missed you, bunny," Sebastian spoke, holding her tightly in his arms and kissing her cheeks. Her small giggle filling the home and causing him to smile. You stayed in your place on the couch watching them both.

"Why don't we get ready for bed, huh? Y/N can get you all ready?"

"Ok, daddy!" She smiled before rushing up the steps towards her room.

At the mention of your name, you stood from the couch and walked towards him. You stood in front of him and watched Madeline runoff before soon his arms were around you. Your heart seemed to stop for a moment before soon his lips were on yours. The kiss was brief but it was enough to make your heart stop for a moment.

"Been wanting to do that all day," Sebastian whispered against your lips, his eyes looking over you, before settling on your face. "How as today?"

"Perfect like always." You spoke softly.

"Once she gets down for bed, will you come to my office?"

You nodded your head once before moving up on your toes and kissing him again. Madeline called your name from her bedroom, causing you to move away from him quicker and go up to the little girl.

Sebastian sighed softly and felt for the first time that was becoming truly happy. He wished that life would be like this forever, coming home to his little girl and you. Sebastian knew that he wasn't in love with you or anything, but he had a feeling that something good could come from you being in his life. That you were good for Madeline as well.

But just as Sebastian walked into his office, he heard the front door open and then slam shut. There was only one person that could be.

Lysia

The sounds of her heels against the wood floors in the house echoed through the halls. Sebastian looked up towards the door the moment she stepped into the doorway. Her eyes glared towards him with a rage he hadn't seen in a long time. In her fisted hands were the divorce papers he knew his lawyer sent this morning.

"A divorce!" Lysia screamed, walking into his office and slamming them on the door. "Are you fucking kidding me, Sebastian!?"

"This shouldn't truly come to you as a shock." He shrugged his shoulders not letting her emotions affect him. "This marriage as over a long time ago, it's time we move on."

"Move on," She chuckled and shook her head, "Why so you can keep fucking the nanny?"

"Don't bring y/n into this," He glared towards him, feeling the need to defend you. "She has nothing to do with this. We don't even sleep in the fucking same room anymore Lysia. And don't think I don't know about the others that you have been with. Why stay in this if we're both unhappy."

She scoffed "What am I supposed to do? Huh? Become a single mother? Let your whore keep watching our child before going back to you?"

Sebastian slammed his hand down on his desk, standing quickly as he shouted towards her. "Don't you dare call her that! She's done more for our daughter in the months she worked for us than the years you've done. Sign the fucking papers, Lysia, I'm done."

Lysia stood there in shock, her eyes wide, as she saw the anger coming from her husband. His face was red and his eyes nearly bulging from his face as he glared at her. She knew that Sebastian would never hurt her, but a small flare of fear came through her.

But what neither of you knew was that you stood at the bottom of the stairs with both of their voice going through the home. Your heart raced when you heard Lysia call you a whore, but it stopped the moment you heard Sebastian's booming voice. You don't know how long you stood there for, but Lysia's footsteps came towards you, the two of you looking towards each other when she came into view.

Her face was void of any emotion, before filling with anger when she saw you.

"I hope you're happy, coming in here and tearing apart my family." Her voice was low, with each word taking a step towards you. You were frozen in both fear and shock. "Is that what you wanted? To steal my husband?'

"I-I...I-I..."

"You're fired," She spoke, glaring at you, "Don't come back here."

Lysia pushed past you, heading up the stairs, before going into her bedroom. Sebastian sat and waited for you, unaware you'd heard the entire exchange between him and his soon-to-be ex-wife. He wanted to share the news with you. He wanted to start something with you, something that wasn't in secret. But when he heard the front door open and close again, he felt frozen for a moment. Sebastian walked out and looked through the front windows watching as you pulled out from the driveway.

if you'd like to be tag, let me know.

want the story to continue? Send concepts in!

@drakelover78

#sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan concept #sebastian stan blurb #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan fanfiction

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lunarflux · 3 years

Text

"i promised i'd forget, but you're all i see when i dream the night away"

bang chan x reader

genre — drama!au

suggested background music: x

note: like i said - i put a lot of my life into writing. something similar to this happened to me today, and i'd like to think that music is getting me through it. i wanted to add more of a "post credits" scene for chan and o/c, but this is how my day is going and how this situation ends.

The world never felt so heavy.

You'd never thought that scrolling through social media could create this bleeding ring in your ears, yet somehow here you are, unable to look at your phone. The photo you stumbled across had already been burned into your memory. There were times when you could forget what song you'd just listened to, and yet this one image had suddenly been burned, a permanent nightmare in your mind.

Your ex looked happy. It wasn't a bad breakup, but after a year, you couldn't expect him to stay single forever. You'd both agreed to move on, and while you swore you had, seeing the photo of him with a beautiful girl kissing his cheek made your shoulders heavy. Staring at your blacked out screen, it was like the photo was still there, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't keep yourself from seeing it. Every time you closed your eyes, there he was.

Happy.

You fumbled with your cell phone, placing it face down on your desk before your boss could catch you. It was hard to hide the look on your face. It was pain, sadness, and confusion. How was it that after all this time, you hadn't succeeded in moving on, but he had?

Was it you? Or was this girl really so special that you were worth forgetting?

The feeling of being forgotten - it's seeing the dust gather on photos and the doorknob that he will never open again.

It's over.

"Do you have the paperwork for the meeting tomorrow?" Chan popped into your office, placing a fresh mug of coffee on your desk. You'd started here only six months ago, but he already knew that you liked your coffee light and sweet. "Jisoo wants to make sure we're not missing anything before -"

"Yeah, I have it." You said curtly, looking back at your computer, typing away at your report. "I'll bring it to you later."

"I mean, I can wait for it if you have it ready."

"Chan," you looked up at him. "I said I'll bring it to you later."

Chan looked at you with mild concern. Sure, there were a lot of women in the office, and the men had eventually learned when not to step on toes in the case of any mood swings because of work stress. You weren't one of those people though. You were the type of person who'd rid the stress with a bar of chocolate and be done with it. You'd never snapped at him before.

"Okay." Chan backed out quietly. He ducked into the next office over. Knocking on Minki's office door, he peered in.

"Hey," Minki stood up. "I gotta bring these to the fourth floor, can you watch the phone for me?"

"Yeah, no problem." Chan smiled before taking a seat.

Ping

He knew that you and Minki were office best friends ever since you got hired. While he didn't mean to see it, Minki left his messenger open and slowly your messages came flooding in.

x: he moved on x: am i supposed to be upset? x: we broke up a year ago, so why do i feel so defeated haha x: maybe i'm just decomposing. why do i feel like this x: can we get drinks later? i know you hate it when i drink to drown out my sorrows, but i just can't be here right now.

Damn.

Chan swore he didn't mean to see all that. That would explain the mood though.

x: i didn't think i'd miss him this much. i just want to forget about it.

Taking in a deep breath, Chan pulled out his phone and made a call.

"Chan, why did you need me for this stupid client dinner? And who the hell has dinner at 4PM?" You continuously complained as he drove you down the road into the next district.

"Just relax, it'll be fine."

You rested your head against the passenger side window. As your breath fogged up the glass, you scribbled little hearts, peppered over the skyline as Chan drove. It wasn't until you started seeing signs that you realized you were at Banpo Bridge. Chan pulled into the empty parking lot.

"The client wants to have dinner here? What are we doing - getting takeout?" You jested.

Chan opened your door. "Go sit over there, I'll be right back."

You took your seat right by the edge of the water. The weather really was perfect today. The fresh air helped clear out your thoughts. Even though the breakup was a year ago, seeing that photo really made it feel like it just happened yesterday. Your heart broke twice, and yet you couldn't bring yourself to think that you hate him now. You loved him as a memory - a beautiful, happy memory, and it was time to let go now.

Chan re-emerged next to you, a bag with four bottles of soju and piping hot ramen in his hands.

"Um -" You nearly laughed at the sight of him struggling to carry everything. "Am I missing something? Are the clients your drinking buddies?"

"Sit, sit, please." Chan arranged everything down on the ledge.

"Not that I'm ungrateful, but I am confused."

"I, uh." He sat down next to you, removing his jacket. "I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me."

Stopping halfway from opening a bottle, you looked up at him.

"y/n, Minki had me watch over his desk, and I... I'm sorry, I saw your messages."

"Chan, that was private." You looked down at your shoes, feeling the heaviness in your chest again.

"I know. And I'm sorry." He grabbed the bottle from you and opened it himself. "Minki had to run to another meeting, and I saw how sad you were. I just figured I'd help you escape for a bit. I called in a favor from the interns to watch your stuff, so we could... do this, I guess."

You'd always known Chan was a softie. He was that guy in the office who never forgot about birthdays and important events. He was never late, and he would do everything he could to help out the new people. Even to you, he was a big help whenever you needed it.

"Again, I'm sorry." He poured two shots and handed you one. "But you looked like you needed it, so - cheers."

You watched him as you threw back your soju. You stifled a smile, "Pitiful, isn't it. Still feeling like you've been dumped even after an entire year."

Chan winced as the alcohol hit the back of his throat. "Not at all. Who said that a year was the right time to get over someone? There's no rule for that."

You continued to sip slowly, watching him open up all the snacks.

"I haven't had a girlfriend in years, and I swear, after my last girlfriend and I broke up, I couldn't stop thinking about her even because of the littlest things. It wasn't a bad breakup, but when you have so many happy moments with someone, you can't help but feel sad when you see that person making new moments with someone else. It makes you wonder if that could've been me, y'know?"

It couldn't be stopped. One deep breath and suddenly all the tears started pouring out. You couldn't control your breathing, and it felt like the weight of the world finally came crashing down on your chest, reminding you of every little happy memory that had to be released into the ocean like confetti.

Chan rushed over, placing his jacket on your shoulders. He hushed you, rubbing your arms to warm you up. Crouching down in front of you, he pulled you up and brought you into his chest.

"Wait, I'll get makeup on your shirt -"

He laughed at your childish worries. "It's just a shirt. Just go ahead, it's okay. I can get it dry-cleaned, and you're worth more than some shirt."

Feeling your tears soak up in the cotton, you just cried, and Chan let you until it felt like there was nothing left. You chest was still heaving, but you felt the weight lift slowly. The sea air started filling your lungs again like an icy burn.

"I'm sorry." You finally looked up, mascara stained on your cheeks. You smeared what you could from your face before sitting.

"Stop apologizing." Chan sat down beside you again. "Do you feel better?"

"A little."

Placing his hand on yours, Chan smiled. It was a warm gentle smile. He squeezed, "It will get better. I promise."

"I just feel like everyone keeps moving on, and I'm just stuck here."

"Where is 'here' to you? 'Here' to me is existing with a good job with good friends and a good life. 'Here' is anything you're doing happily without him." He reached up to cup your cheek. "I know you feel miserable, but your body won't let you feel this way forever. And neither will I. Please don't feel as if 'here' is an awful place. 'Here', you have me, and I'll stay until you're not sad anymore."

Peering up at him with red eyes, you smiled with whatever energy you had. Sadness still sat on your shoulders, but it didn't feel so awful anymore.

Chan nodded towards you.

"Until you're not sad or until you ask me to leave - I'll be here for you."

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street-smarts00 · 3 years

Text

You Make Me Weak

Bakugou x Gen Neutral reader

Summary: Bakugou and y/n are constantly bickering and fighting. They both like eachother but are too in denial to admit it. Their friends pick up on this and plan a way for them to get along.

Wc: 2.300

!Language warning!

You banged on the door and relentlessly fought with the handle. “Get back over here and open this door!” you yelled to your friends on the other side of the door. You heard some laughing and finally got a response from someone.

“Sorry, but we’re not opening that door until you guys get along!” Ochako yelled back. You heard their footsteps fade signaling they were gone. You stopped fighting with the door handle and turned around to face the biggest thorn in your side since you started at UA, Katsuki Bakugou.

That morning

He couldn’t stand you. At all. Just seeing you in class made his blood boil and heart start racing. If he got too close to you his head would start spinning, or he would become overly conscious of his sweaty hands. He’d constantly catch himself thinking about you all the time and sneaking glances at you during school. You made him feel things he’s never felt before. He didn’t know what was going on or how to stop it. He hated it.

It was even more irritating because his friends would constantly tease him about it. Like right now. Bakugou was in the homeroom sitting near his “friends” and not really joining in their conversation much because he wasn’t in the mood to talk. Instead he kept staring at you from across the room while you were busy deep in conversation with Uraraka. Anytime you would look his way he would quickly avert his eyes and plaster on an angry expression.

His cheeks would turn a slight shade of pink as he tried to act like you were the bane of his existence. Denki picked up on this.

“Yo Kachan what’s got you all blushy,” he asked with a smirk.

“Shut up, I’m not blushing”

“Is he staring at y/n again?” Sero asked.

“Probably,” Mina answered.

“Shut up, I can barely hold in my puke just by looking at them,” Bakugou lied.

At the start of the school year the two of you tolerated each other. You didn’t speak and you didn’t interact most of the time. Even when you did it was pretty neutral. But somehow over the course of the last few weeks Bakugou found you more and more annoying.

It seemed like most of his hatred turned from Deku to you. He would throw insults at you and call you names and you got sick of it. At first you just tried to ignore him, but after it kept happening you snapped at him.

“Can you just shut up!” You practically screamed at him.

Bakugou froze in shock, he’d never heard you speak that loudly before, and with so much fury in your eyes.

“You are always shitting on me for no reason at all and you’re acting like a total jackass! Can you for once stop acting like you’re better than everyone here!” You continued.

“Tch, it’s cause I am better than you,” he smirked.

You balled your fists and your jaw clenched. “UGH I can’t stand you!” You retorted and stormed out of the common area. After that encounter a few weeks ago, he’s only been more intrigued in you. No one has snapped back at him like that. It seriously ticked him off.

All while Bakugou was going through his roller coaster of emotions about you, his friends were paying very close attention. How they always caught him staring at you or bringing you up and how “annoying” you are. How they saw he would fidget with whatever was in his hand or bounce his leg whenever you were talking or your name was brought up. How he would bring you up all the time despite his dislike for you. They all slowly figured out that he had the biggest crush on you and was in serious denial.

They tried to mention it to him once and he almost blew them up for even suggesting that, so they haven’t brought up the subject since. But they still do like to tease him from time to time.

You couldn’t stand him. Katsuki Bakugou was the most annoying person in your class. His ego was through the roof and constantly thought he was better than everyone else. Most of the time you kept a distance, not wanting to get yelled at by the explosive blond.

What bothered you even more was that after your little spat with him, he was always trying to talk to you or was always looking at you. You and Bakugou were almost as bad as him and Deku. You were constantly fighting and spitting insults at each other. You weren’t even paired together during heroics anymore after last time you two almost killed each other.

Thankfully you hadn’t had any spats with him today, only some staring and dirty looks during homeroom. School had ended and you were spending some alone time in your dorm finishing up your homework. You heard a knock on your door.

“It’s open,” you yelled from your desk.

The door was opened and revealed Uraraka and Mina.

“Hey y/n, what’s up?” Ochako asked.

“Nothing exciting, I’m like 2 minutes away from finishing my homework.”

She smiled, “oh cool, so you’re free after that?”

You scribbled down the answers as fast you could, “yup.”

“Awesome! so some of us are chilling in one of the vacant dorms on the third floor. You wanna join?” Mina cheered.

You furrowed your eyebrows and tapped your pencil against your notebook. “Why are you guys in a vacant dorm? Why not just hang out in someone's room?”

Uraraka played with the hem of her shirt. “I don’t know, it was Seros idea. But come on, it'll be fun.

You quickly finished up the last question of your homework and left with your friends to wherever your friends were. On the way downstairs you felt something was off. Uraraka and Mina weren’t acting strangely, but something was telling you that they knew something.

The three of you made it to the third floor and your friends guided you to one of the vacant dorm rooms. You stepped inside and there was no one there. “Umm where is . . “

Before you could finish your question you heard Kirishima and Kaminari voices making their way from the elevator to where you are now. Your stomach dropped once you realized that the last person you wanted to see walked in the room with your friends.

But that wasn’t even the worst part. Seconds after the boys walked inside Kirishima, Sero, Mina and Uraraka ran out of the room and slammed the door shut. You and Bakugou exchanged confused looks and ran to the door.

Bakugou fought with the handle and banged on the door. “What the hell? Open the damn door!” He screamed. You could practically see the smoke coming out of his ears.

“Sorry but this is for your own good,” Kaminari giggled.

“How the hell did you guys even lock the door? No one is living here, you don’t have a key!” You yelled through the door.

“I taped the door shut,” You heard from Sero.

“Anyway we’re gonna go and leave you to chat,” Kiri added.

You pushed Bakugou out of the way and banged on the door relentlessly fighting with the handle. “Guys this isn’t funny! Get back over here and open this door!” you yelled to your friends on the other side of the door. You heard some laughing and finally got a response from someone.

You sat down on the bed and let out a loud sigh, this can not be happening. You glanced at Katsuki, his arms were crossed and his eyes were on the floor. You noticed he had calmed down since your friends left, but he had left his guard up and set up some imaginary barrier.

It was almost annoying how easy he was to read, maybe that was another reason why you disliked him.. Most of your friends couldn't comprehend how you could read him like a book, but at the same time you stand within a 5 foot radius of him.

Nothing but silence filled the room for the next few minutes. You glanced back at him, now he was situated at the desk chair with his feet propped up on the desk. Some of his hair fell onto his forehead and his bright red eyes stayed fixated on the floor. His arms were still crossed like before but because of the way he was sitting his biceps were . . . wait WHAT . . stop thinking about his hair or eyes or muscles.

Your thoughts started to wander and you thought back at your encounters with the blond at the beginning of the school year. The two of you barely spoke and when you did there were no insults or name calling. Just classmates like everyone else. It wasn't until about a little over a month ago that you noticed Bakugou's attitude towards you change.

Although you didn't want to disturb the somewhat peaceful setting that was the predicament you were in, you had to know why he hated you all of a sudden. You had to know what switch was set off for him to go from tolerating you, to despising you.

“Why do you hate me so much?” you broke the silence.

His head snapped to you with a look of confusion. “Tch cause you’re annoying.”

Ok this boy was on thin ice with you right now. “That’s not an answer.”

He rolled his eyes, “Well it’s the answer I fucking gave you.”

“Can you not, for like two seconds?” you spat, patience growing thin.

“I don’t know, can you shut up?” He placed his feet off the desk.

You clenched your fists in frustration. It was nearly impossible to have a normal conversation with him. “You know what! I can't with you! Why are you like this?” You stood up and raised your voice unknowingly.

“Like what?” He stood up mirroring you.

“The insults and dirty looks. You staring at me all the time with that dumb look on your face!” You explained as your voice gained volume. You stepped towards him and stared him down. You both stood in silence. The tension in the room rose by the second.

“What the hell did I do to you to make you hate me so much!”

He stepped closer to you, your faces inches apart. His breath was ragged and uneven, his eyes were narrowed on you. Your heart beat was quickly rising as the seconds passed.

“You wanna know why I hate you?”

“Yes”

Within an instant his lips were on yours. At first you were startled and unable to move, but soon you fell into the rhythm of the kiss. It wasn’t until right now that you realized just how badly you wanted this. How badly you wanted to capture his lips into your own and . You wrapped your hands around his neck deepening the kiss. He placed his one hand on the back of your head, and the other lightly trailed down the back of your spine leaving goosebumps. You slowly parted, breaking the kiss and gasped for air.

“You make me feel weak,” he admitted.

Your eyes went wide and met with his red ones. Your heart was doing a number on you and your cheeks were heating up. You rested your head against his chest to hide your blush and let out a long sigh. “Of all the things for you to say, I did not think that was going to be one of them. Who knew Katsuki Bakugou was a huge softie,” you giggled.

He removed you from his hold and placed his hands in his pockets. “Shut up dumbass,” he scoffed

Both of you stood there in silence, not knowing what to do next. But this time there was no awkward tension in the air. After a few seconds you cleared your throat and spoke up, “So . . . what do we do now?”

“We get the fuck out of here that’s what,” he replied.

He walked towards the door and glanced back at you silently asking to join him. You walked over and he started to yell and bang on the door, you followed suit.

Shortly after the yelling and banging began, your friends ran upstairs to prevent the possibility of you two killing each other, or worse, Aizawa finding you guys locked in a room.

“Yo, what's going on?” you heard from Kaminari.

“Let us out, we made up!” you answered.

There was quiet from behind the door for a few seconds followed by some whispering.

“How do we know you're telling the truth?” you heard from Mina.

You looked at Katsuki and he smirked. You could read him like a book, you knew exactly what he was planning.

“Open the door and we’ll prove it,” he added.

There was more quiet behind the door and soon your heard tape being peeled off. Not long after, the door was opened and behind it a group of friends with questioning expressions.

“Ok, it's open, what's your proof?” Kiri asked.

You and Katsuki exchanged looks and he planted his hand on your waist and pulled you into another kiss. This one is much quicker then the first one, but just as passionate.

You pulled away from the kiss and looked back at your friends. All with wide eyes and jaws hangin on the floor.

“Holy shit I knew it!” Kami and Mina screamed with excitement. A few seconds later Sero handed an unknown amount of money to Uraraka.

“How’s that for proof?” you smiled.

#katsuki bakugou #mha headcanons #mha x reader #mha fluff #mha #bnha katsuki x reader #mha oneshot #enemies to lovers

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lovelykiri · 3 years

Text

Yes, doctor

summary

You go to a doctor’s office nearby every year for your annual appointment. Every time a nurse comes out into that familiar waiting room you get a little nervous. You had never liked doctor visits. This time your usual doctor was out, and there was a fill in you hadn’t met before. When the doctor enters your examination room, you were pleasantly surprised. Denki Kaminari, the boy you had been fawning for all throughout high school, would be your doctor today.

female reader

both are adults, around 20-25 years old

h/n = hero name

content warning

medicalplay, bondage, slapping your pussy, degradation, punishment/reward, desperation, edgeplay/orgasm denial, dumbification, breeding, sex toys, thigh riding, y/n pees herself

full fic by spice🥧

After checking in with the receptionist, you sat down in one of the plush chairs in the waiting room. You were a pro hero, and a pretty recent graduate from UA high, having graduated 5 or 6 years ago. This doctor's office was specifically for heroes, so it was pretty fancy to say the least. The reason it was only for heroes was so they could have specialized doctors and nurses fit to deal with quirks, and they were hand selected by the Hero Organization to handle confidential quirk information if needed.

You picked up one of the magazines from the table across from you and flipped through it, eyeing various support item ads and making mental notes of them to show to your costume designer.

"Y/n?" a voice called.

You looked up, and a friendly looking nurse greeted you with a warm smile.

"Hello." you said quietly, getting up to follow her into the hallway.

"It's an honor to meet you, H/n!" she said excitedly, as she led you to a small room to take your height and weight.

"Thanks! Thank you for taking such good care of us heroes."

"Only the best for the people who protect us from villains!" she said cheerfully.

After taking your measurements, she led you to another room.

"Here, change into this, and your doctor will be in shortly!"

She handed you a paper gown.

"Thank you!" you said.

After she left, you put the gown on and sat on the bed. You waited nervously, trying to remember if you were due for any shots, when you heard a knock.

"Are you dressed? May I come in?" a familiar sounding voice called.

"Sure." you said.

The door opened and you knew who it was the second you saw a flash of that familiar bright yellow hair.

You couldn't believe your eyes.

"K-Kaminari?"

"Please! Call me Denki. We were friends in high school, weren't we?" he said with a bright smile.

"Y-Yeah.. you didn't become a hero?"

"Nope. Everyone at UA and in the pro hero world looked down on me. Well, except you, Deku, and Red Riot, that is. So I became a doctor to prove people like Dynamight wrong. Do you still talk to anyone from our class?" He asked, taking a seat at his computer and typing in his password.

"Yeah, Deku and I patrol together sometimes and Mina is still my best friend."

"Oh, Mina! I forgot about her. She was nice. Anyway, how have you been? Feel sick lately? Cough? Sore throat? Fever?"

"Nope, I'm all good." you said, trying to avoid his gaze.

"Are you okay? You seem.. nervous." he lowered his voice.

"I-I'm fine. Sorry."

"Okay. Well, I'm gonna ask you a few questions, and then we can get started."

He began to ask questions, your cheeks heating up more and more with every embarrassing question about your sex life, menstrual cycle, bowel movements, and so on and so forth.

Denki laughed suddenly.

"Look how red you are- calm down it's just me!"

You laughed quietly.

"Alright, well, I'm just gonna make sure everything's okay, and then you can be on your way!"

"Sounds good." you said, relieved that he wasn't asking any further questions.

He had stopped asking questions, yet that warmth in your cheeks stayed there as you watched him wash his hands and put gloves on.

He started by checking your reflexes. After you almost kicking him, he moved on to check your eyes and ears.

He pulled out his stethoscope.

"I'm gonna listen to your heartbeat really quick okay? Tell me if I'm making you uncomfortable! Sorry, it's gonna be cold."

Shit. He's gonna be able to tell how nervous I am..

You tried to steady your breathing, but it just came out ragged, embarrassing you further.

He moved the stethoscope with a confused look on his face, before taking it off and putting it back around his neck.

"Are you okay? Your heart is beating really fast. Should I refer you to someone or are you just nervous?" he asked, scribbling something down on a clipboard.

"N-Nervous, sorry."

"Oh yeah! You had a crush on me in high school, didn't you?" That explains it!"

"H-How did you know?"

"Mina told me. After we graduated, though. I never got to reach out to you about it, but I liked you too."

"Y-You did?!" you breathed.

"Mmhm. Now try to calm down a little so I can get some accurate measurements."

"Okay, sorry."

You took a deep breath, and he continued trying to get an accurate reading, but god.. he was just so hot, so concentrated, and he smelled so good..

"Hey. Y/n. Earth to Y/n." he said, looking up.

"Sorry!" you said again.

"It's not a problem," he smirked. "Come here."

And with that, he pulled you in for a kiss.

You gasped against his mouth, before melting into it, your hands finding their way around his neck, clasping in the back. You felt one of his hands wrap around you waist, the other still holding the stethoscope in place.

You broke the kiss.

"You gonna move this?" you asked, touching the hand holding the stethoscope.

"Why? You wanna take this further or something?" he asked.

You cast your gaze downwards as he pressed it harder onto your chest to the point where it started to hurt.

"D-Denki.."

"Use your words, princess. What do you want from me?" he said, laughing. He could hear your heartbeat steadily climb, he loved the look of nervousness covering your face, you desperately trying to form words.

"I-I want you."

"Hm?" he said, pressing harder. The loudness was starting to hurt his ears, but it was so worth it to see you flustered.

"P-Please! I want you!"

"Good girl." he said with a smile, removing the stethoscope and placing it on the table.

He sat in his desk chair, facing you with crossed arms.

"Undress please, I need to make sure everything looks okay."

"O-Okay."

"That's 'Yes Doctor' to you."

"Yes doctor."

You took off the gown and tossed it aside, facing Denki, who was smirking at the sight of your naked body.

He stood up and took off his shirt, followed by his pants, leaving him in only his boxers, his erection poking through with a bit of precum already showing. He then wrapped you in a kiss again, his hands finding your breasts and kneading them until your nipples were hard.

You let out a soft moan as you caressed his face.

He pulled away.

"Look at you, making a mess on my table." he gestured to the wet puddle that was forming between your legs. "I'll have to punish you for that.

He pulled a roll of bandages from the cabinet and smirked. He bandaged your hands on either side of you stuck down onto the table, making sure you couldn't move them. Then, he bandaged your feet down onto the table, again, making sure you couldn't move them.

Your dripping cunt was exposed to him, and you could barely move.

"Dripping for me like a bitch in heat, I've barely touched you, princess."

"D-Doctor- please-"

You were cut off by two fingers lightly grazing your wet pussy, gathering your juices on them. He then stuck them in your mouth, causing you to gag.

"Suck."

You did as told and sucked your wetness of his fingers, your face a shade of red from embarrassment.

"Such a good girl, following the doctor's orders. Now let's see. I have to examine other patients too, so if you'll excuse me." he started to put his clothes back on, smiling while you looked at him shocked.

"Oh don't be scared. I'll be back for you soon. And I have something to keep you company while I'm gone."

He pulled out a small pink vibrator with a tiny remote from his desk drawer.

"When I found out you were my patient, I had a feeling things would go this way. I came prepared."

He attached the vibrator to your clit, drawing a gasp from you.

"No cumming until I allow it okay? See you soon, princess. Oh- and I almost forgot."

He grabbed the bandages again, and put them over your mouth.

"Can't let anyone hear you!" and with that, he left the room and locked the door.

You sat there, stunned, legs open, dripping wet, with a vibrator attached to you. It wasn't on yet, either. It was just sitting there. You tried to shake it off of you, or at least break the bandages, to try and get some relief, but they wouldn't budge.

And then it happened. The vibrator started at a very low shake, making you gasp once more, trying to close your legs to relieve the pressure.

Your head was spinning when it went up to the next level again. You were squirming, bucking your hips, anything for it to stop. But alas, it went up to the highest level.

You nearly screamed, but managed to stifle your moan. And then, it stopped.

This cycle went on for an hour, the vibrator randomly turning on super low, jumping to high, staying off for a bit, it was pure torture, and it wasn't enough to make you cum, either, so you just had to bear it.

About 30 minutes into this torture, you realized something even worse. You had to pee.

You were sweating, shaking, panting, face bright red, trying not to piss yourself, when the vibrator stopped and the door jiggled. Your heart nearly stopped, afraid it was some poor doctor who would have to see it.

But you were relieved to see your doctor slip into the room.

"My my- you're quite a mess!"

"MmhmmmhmmhhMMM!" you tried yelling at him through the bandage on your mouth.

"Princess, use your words! Oh wait- you cant!"

He detached the vibrator from your clit, and removed the bandage on your mouth.

"I'm gonna examine your pussy, okay?"

"Y-yes doctor."

You gasped at the feeling of his freezing cold hands touching your pussy lightly.

“Are you sensitive here…?" he touched your clit, smirking as you squirmed.

"Or.. here, perhaps?" he lightly circled your entrance with his fingers.

"Y-Yes doctor! I'm so- I'm so sensitive- please- give me an examination or a checkup please- I need to- I need-"

You were babbling, forgetting how to talk.

Suddenly, a hand came down, smacking your pussy. You moaned loudly, looking up at him with tears gathering in your eyes.

"Princess, doctor can't understand you. What do you want?"

"Doc-Doctor I- I need bathroom... please let me go to the bathroom.. th-then we continue."

"Ah, I don't think that's necessary. You may hold it."

"Doctor! Please!"

"No can do, princess. Doctor says no. Do I need to dumb it down more for you? Is doctor speaking too many big words for you to understand?"

"W-Why can't I go pee..?" you said in a small voice.

"Because! You follow doctor's orders, not your own. Doctor says no, you only listen to doctor."

"Y-Yes doctor."

"That's a good girl. Now let's start your examination."

He came over and took both of your breasts in his hands. He rolled your nipples in his fingers and kneaded your breasts until you were whining, face red from embarrassment.

"Is my princess embarrassed? Let your doctor take care of you. He knows what's best. Don't be embarrassed."

He stopped playing with your breasts and moved down to your pussy. Without warning, he dipped his fingers in and curled them painfully slow.

"Doctor!"

"Shh."

You obeyed, stifling your moans as he brought you closer and closer to an orgasm with every slow curl of his fingers.

"Do-Doctor- I'm gonna- p-pee..."

"Okay. Go then."

"B-But Doctor-"

"I said, go princess."

"Yes doctor..." you said, ashamed, as piss pooled out of your pussy, dripping onto the floor.

He continued to finger you slowly as you peed.

You hid your face with your arm.

"Don't be embarrassed princess, I already told you."

"G-Gonna c-cum."

"No. You're not."

He removed his fingers with a sinister grin.

He then slipped his shirt off, followed by his pants, again, leaving him in just his boxers and the gloves he had on.

He peeled your restraints off slowly, looking you in the eye. You looked back at him nervously, trying not to shake.

He then picked you up, surprising you.

"You can wrap your legs around me, it's okay."

He was holding you like a child, but it didn't last long. He put his knee against the wall and let you down so you were sitting on his thigh. He then pressed another kiss onto your mouth.

"Ride." he commanded.

You began to grind onto his thigh, your moans coming out breathy and short.

He reached down to your clit and circled it, and sent a tiny jolt of electricity through his fingers.

"Doctor!"

"Shh princess. Breathe with me okay? In, out. Just like that."

As he led you through breathing, he was sending more electricity to your already abused pussy, making it near impossible not to cum.

"Doct-Doctor ple-please, m'cumming! Let me cum, please!"

You could barely form coherent sentences, you were so focused on trying not to cum.

He placed his hands under your armpits and lifted you up again, holding you once again, like a child. He placed you onto the table again, the wetness from your legs audible.

"I think it's time for Doctor's cock. Are you ready for doctor's cock?"

"Yes doctor! Pl-please! I n-need y-your cock! Please! Breed- breed me!"

"Of course princess."

He finally removed his boxers and gloves, climbing onto the table with you. He put your legs up into the mating press position, and shoved his full length in.

"Aah! D-Doctor- feels so- so good! Please!"

"You said you were a virgin, right?" he asked as he snapped his length into you again.

"Y-Yes doctor."

You could feel every vane, the slight curve, every twitch of his cock as it hit your walls.

"Y-You've never had anyone hit your g-spot then?"

"N-No doctor! I-It's only for you- only you!"

"If you cum without permission, I'm gonna make you cum again. Got it?" he asked with a grunt, as he tried to find your spot.

"Y-Yes doctor!

He began to rub your clit, sending more bliss falling over you. You had been trying not to cum for around two hours now, and it was at this point, slightly painful. You were overstimulated and you hadn't even gotten to cum yet.

His eyes rolled back as he hit that spongy spot- and you almost screamed. You moaned loudly, fingers gripping into his back, toes curling. All you could see was white, and you heard a loud squelch.

"Pr-Princess! You squirted.. what a b-bad girl... c'mon, I know you've got another one in there for me! This time cum WITH permission though."

"Y-Yes doctor!"

He continued to snap his hips into yours. You gasped when he bottomed out, hitting against your cervix. He rubbed your clit harder and continued to pump into you, hitting your g-spot and cervix with every thrust.

"M'gonna cum s-straight into y-your pretty little w-womb. I'll fill you u-up with my kids! You'll be s-swollen and pregnant- you'll be m-my princess f-forever! D-Do you like the s-sound of that?"

"Yes doctor!" you cried out blissfully.

"G-Good girl! C-Cum wi-with me!"

His pace stuttered and his cock twitched hard as hot white cum filled your womb. You couldn't hold back your second orgasm as you came around his cock again, pussy fluttering wildly.

He pulled out slowly, and wiped his now soft cock off with a tissue.

"Princess. You're leaking."

He gathered the cum that was dripping out and pushed it back in.

He got dressed, but when you tried he stopped you and told you to sit back on the table.

"I see you're on birth control on my charts, by the way. Let's take you off of that. And since your heartbeat was a little fast, I'll schedule you back about a week out, how does that sound?"

"G-Good. T-Thank you."

"No problem! Oh- you're leaking again, here."

He pulled out a small plug from his drawer, gathered his cum on his fingers once again, pushed it back inside, and inserted the plug into your cunt.

"Take this out when you know you won't leak my cum anymore."

"Y-Yes doctor. Thank you."

"Oh- and take these every day until next week when you come back for me, okay?"

He handed you a small bottle with tiny pink pills in it. You read the label out loud.

Stimulation In A Bottle for low sex drives

"Low sex drive?"

"Yeah. Coming off your birth control might mess you up a little, it could mean a lower sex drive, or double the sex drive. Best not to risk it, princess."

"B-But-"

"I need to hear a "yes doctor" from you, please."

"Yes doctor."

"Good, now get dressed, I'll see you next week. Oh- and the janitor will clean the pee up. I'll just say it was a child."

"Yes doctor."

#denki smut #denki x reader #mha x reader #mha smut #.spice writes🥧#.the dungeon

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bakubub · 3 years

Text

Best friend rigs the Secret Santa for Bakugo and yourself to get one another...

A/N: Hullo everybody!! This is part 2 (find part one HERE) of this Pinterest Prompt and part 3 will (hopefully) be the final part. I honestly thought this would be a 800 word fic but now we're barreling towards almost 5k all together whoops lol-

Warnings: Just a few swears here and there, SFW, its literally all Bakusquad shenanigans.

Word count: abt 1.5k, ENJOY <3

"Soooooo~ Who d'ya get for the cringle?" Kaminari asks, leaning back on his chair dangerously to look back at me, sitting on the desk behind him. I raise my eyebrows, since I can't just raise the one, and flick my pen expertly in my hand.

"Mr. Aizawa," I answered seriously. "I'm thinking of getting him another sleeping bag. The musty yellow one isn't really his colour."

Looking genuinely confused, Kaminari looks around to see if anyone else overheard our conversation.

I laugh at him, and kick his chair forward, causing him to shriek as he sits squarely on his butt. I look down to see a folded note on my desk, opening to read it as Mr Aizawa tells us to settle down;

Lover boy was TOTALLY just greasing off Kaminari for making you laugh. I think someone's still jealous from the whole sleeping incident...

Catching Mina's eye, I give her an I don't think so look, which she promptly rolls her eyes at. Its been a whole weekend since the 'sleeping incident', where I had woken up with Kaminari's arms wrapped around my waist and his head nestled on my stomach. Accidentally of course. We, along with Bakugo and Kirishima, had fallen asleep on the couch in the common room, talking late last Friday night.

It really wasn't a big deal... Kaminari apologised several times. I got over it, he got over it, and I don't see why Bakugo, whom Mina just loves to call 'lover boy', would even care.

Plus, I have bigger problems. Like what to get said lover boy for the Christmas Cringle we were supposed to be exchanging this Saturday. He's literally impossible to buy for. Well, I could always just buy him a new pair of shorts or something, but since I've had a crush on him since literally the first day of school, it needs to be perfect.

So far I've thought of a cookbook, an apron, a scarf since he's always wearing the brown one, or maybe even a matching beanie; then again his hair has such personality I don't even know if he CAN put a beanie over those suspiciously natural spikes...

"Hellooooo, come on, Aizawa dismissed us," Mina says, nudging my shoulder.

I snap out of my daze and gather my things, following out of the nearly empty classroom.

"Decided on what to get monsieur Hothead yet?" I sigh, already having predicted this question.

"Nope," I say, popping the p as we walk to the dorm rooms. "I'm thinking of maybe getting-"

"Hey girls, wanna meet at the common room at 6 for a rematch of UNO?" Kaminari asks, coming up from behind us and slinging an arm over my and Mina's shoulders like he always does.

"Yeah sure, we're down." Mina answers, pinching him in the side so he lets us out of his grasp. We duck away, laughing and continuing our banter, before I catch Bakugo's gaze.

"You coming too, Bakugo?" I ask, walking up next to him, ignoring my heart trying to escape its cage.

"Coming where?" He grumbles, still looking disgruntled and angry.

"We're playing UNO around 6 today in the common room. Come on, it'll be fun," I say, trying to persuade him into coming, since he never usually participates.

"HELL NO! I don't have time to waste, especially with you extras," He yells at me. I huff, rolling my eyes and continuing to ignore the feeling of my heart beating in my eyeballs, as I grumble, "you never do," and walk back next to Mina, who was now somehow in a water fight with Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero.

Overall certain that I didn't let my nerves peek through while talking to him, I don't register what's happening as Sero grabs Oijiro's water bottle out of his bag, unscrews the lid, then promptly dumps it over my head.

With Mina, Kirishima, Kaminari and even Bakugo gasping in the background, I wiped the water off my face, before realising my mascara had probably smudged all over my cheeks and glared at Sero, who was slowly backing away.

I practically growl before chasing him, blindly grabbing my own water bottle out of my bag and drenching him, messing up his styled hair which has him shrieking "sorry, I'm so sorry!" and has me cackling in sweet, sweet revenge.

---

"PLUS FOUR?! AGAIN KIRISHIMA! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Mina screeches as she pounds Kirishima's arm from next to him, who is laughing and judging from his reaction, barely feeling her punches. I know from experience, that Mina punches hard. He has to be really tough not to show an inkling of pain.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just really have to win this one!" He says, shooting a guilty smile Mina's way. Maybe he just doesn't feel pain in general...? I stare at him with suspicion as Mina huffs and she rolls her eyes at him, promptly dropping a four plus for the next person in our circle, who just happened to be me.

"Hey! Not cool, hypocrite." I mutter.

"I had to get my anger out somehow. I'm pretending you're Kirishima. Go on, pick up those cards, you slimy rat," Mina says smugly.

Giving her a confused look at her weird logic, I continued the game, Shoji and Hagakure also having joined in half way.

Just as I'm about to announce UNO, Bakugo stomps through the common room and sits right in between myself and Mina, crossing his legs on the floor and leaning back on his two hands.

"BAKUBRO! YOU CAME!" Kirishima yells excitedly, Kaminari and Sero also whooping and cheering.

"Yeah, yeah, shut up. I finished my work and came to see what you idiots were doing." He says, voice gruff but not screaming for once.

I raise my brows at him, and he scowls and looks the other way, not being able to face me after he so rudely rejected my invitation a few hours ago.

"Oh please, you just couldn't handle the FOMO." I say teasingly, smirking at him without fully turning my face so the others can hear.

Sero stifles a laugh and Kaminari looks confused before the dots connect and he also has his hand clamped around his mouth.

"She has a green 7," is all he says, a sadistic look of satisfaction overtaking his features. It takes a moment for all of us to realise what he just said.

Mina cackles as she changes the colour to red, effectively stopping me from winning the game.

Shooting him a dirty look, I lean over to grab another card, simultaneously elbowing him hard in the shin, which he doesn't even react to.

What is it with these guys and their weirdly high pain tolerance?

Ignoring him now, we continue the game, Kirishima practically slamming his last card on top of the deck. "I WON, I WON, man that was so MANLY," He celebrates as I see Mina rolling her eyes and silently fuming. I begin to shuffle and hand out the cards deliberately skipping Bakugo, which doesn't go unnoticed by him.

"Oi, where are my cards?" He asks, annoyance evident in his tone as Kirishima continues to gloat in the background about how manly his win was and Kaminari complaining about how he never "gets the good cards." When I don't respond, Bakugo steals my cards from in front of me, leaning forward to play with the others.

Snarling, I grab my cards out of his hand, causing him to snarl back, until we're fighting for the 7 cards.

"What are you guys doing, there's a whole ass deck here, you know," Sero says, eyebrows raised and nudging Kirishima.

"These. Ones. Are. MINE." I gasp out, my knee coming around to jab him in his side as his hand pushes me down from my sternum. Oxygen knocked out of my lungs, I gasped for air as I tried to hold the cards out of his reach, my hero training kicking in as I snake my other arm around the back of his neck to hold him in an upside down headlock. Trying to push his forehead onto the ground, I give the cards to Mina, who laughs and takes them, after taking a photo of us.

Having apparently heard the camera click, Bakugo (after struggling a great deal might I smugly add) gets out of my head lock and zones in on Mina. "Delete that photo, Racoon Eyes," He snarls.

"Not in a million years. Awww, look Bakugo are you blushing?" She says, pointing at her phone.

Eyes widening and red creeping up his neck, Bakugo snatches the phone out of her hand and deletes the photo, before getting up and leaving.

"C'mon Bakubro, she's just joking," Kirishima says, following him out.

"Yeah man, you didn't even play a game yet," Sero adds.

"I HAVE STUFF TO DO!" He screams, seemingly going back to his old self.

"Didn't you just say that you finished your homework?" Kaminari asks, furrowing his eyebrows.

"SHUT IT, CHARGEBOLT! I DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU," he says a tad too harshly, turning slightly to glare at him with bulging eyeballs. Kaminari closes his mouth and shuffles his cards, trying not to set him off again.

"Bakugo-" I start, but when he doesn't turn, I find myself letting him leave.

Staring dejectedly at Mina, she gives me a giddy smile and grabs my phone, going onto her messages and smirking as she shows me the photo he just deleted.

"I sent it to you as soon as I took it. Thank me later," she says, winking, as she gets up to leave, dragging Sero and Kaminari with her.

I look down at the slightly blurry photo, seeing me handing Mina the UNO cards under Bakugo with a desperate expression. He has his hand pressed down on my sternum, straddling my waist and looking down at me, with an unmistakable smile gracing his features. Unless that's just a new way of scowling.

The phone dims and all of a sudden I'm confronted with my own expression on the darkened screen.

A lovesick fool.

That's all I can see.

A/N: Ngl pretty proud of that ending. JUst in case I'm not as slick as I think I am, she meant herself and Bakugo, hehe <3

Notes, interactions and reblogs are highly appreciated <3

Find part 3 HERE

#bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou fluff #bakusquad #mha x you #mha katsuki #bnha imagines #bakugo x female reader #mina mha

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pog-sad-muffin · 3 years

Text

Where is Home?

Vilbur and Reader pt 7

!TW! Death, shouting, mentions of dismemberment, nightmares !TW!

Word count: 1400+

Summary: The two worlds merge, Tommy is put in safety by Y/n, but he is never truly home. Where is his home?

-----

Tommy's POV

I am meeting with Y/n today.

I trek over the hills, looking over the ruins of what was L'manburg. Ranboo and the others have been cautious about me leaving ever since the 'illness'. Not like I will be telling them about Y/n, I think scoffing.

Walking a while longer I sneak into the cave.

"Tommy! So glad you could make it!" I hear Y/n's ghostly voice echo. I feel their freezing arms hold me from behind.

"Good to see you again little bro!" I smile proudly at how they addressed me, wait.

"I AM NOT LITTLE YOU TAKE THAT BACK I AM A BIG MAN," I shout my face scrunching up in distaste.

"Of course your not Tommy," they say floating in front of me. Seeing their ghost haze in front of me, I look at the details. Their now longer hair reaching past their ears, the bags under their eyes darker than before, their body growing. Realizing that this is not normal with a ghost I go to ask a question.

Almost as if noticing my questioning face they say, "Tommy there will be many things happening soon. I have something I wish to ask of you."

"Yeah, whatever it is! I will have your back!" I say standing taller with pride, that they came to me for help.

Smirking at my answer Y/n floating in front of me, "I will be needing you to stay here to not get in the crossfire." Crossfire? Nodding my head, they smile and pat my head.

Y/n POV

leaving Tommy I go to the room, "it's time my friends," they nod, dispersing to do their respective tasks. As I travel into the egg, switching my ghostly form to the host. Skeppy, who is now red rather than blue, stares at me. A small smile forming on his face.

"Is it time?" He questions.

"It is now, are you ready?"

"As always," he says, kneeling, arm crossed his chest.

3rd POV

Every one of the Smp had heard the noise, it was a cracking sound. They had run to the egg hoping it wasn't doing what they hoped. Bad, Ant, Sam, and Puffy we're found kneeling to the egg in two rows. Bad Ant and Sam on one side. Sam and Puffy to the other. The egg was hatching.

"Ī̶̢͎͎̠̘̫͑̈̈́̽͐̿̕͘ţ̶̼͍͔̥̞̎̓̀͛́̐̏̂́̄̂̊͜͝ͅ ̴͎͊̀́͗̈́́̍̈̓͝ͅm̷͈͇̟̜̖͍̪͔̦̏̽̓̒̍̀̅͝a̴͔̖̞͉̹̣̥̲̼̒͑̔̏̽͒̐̕ͅk̶͙̫̠̹̼͐͋͊̿̈́̎̈́̿e̸̢̨̙͖͓͔͎̥̯̝̭͓̳̔̏͊̑̆̒̅̊̈̚š̶͈́͜ ̸̣͕̲͇̲̦̼̙̥̻̯̞̻͈͇̾́͛̇͠ṷ̷̧͖̈́͒́͋̇͊̕͘s̸̤͒̇̽̍̿̓̀̾͜͝ ̵̨̛͚̟̯͍̹̮̠͇͖̥̞͑̑̀̌́̀͌̇͑͒̔͗͘͝ͅģ̵͈̙̗̰͖͙̲̠͛̈́͒̾̊̅̀͝o̸̡̱̘̮̙̳̖̻̮̬͔̙͋̃̂̈́̔̓̎̄̾̔̑̚͜ͅ ̷̛͍̦̞̤̮̮̝̥̟̇̂͗͛̇͗̃̀̎̂̐̚̚͝b̷̭͙̳̫͎̯̦͍̮̝́̈̐̂̋̅̋͜͠͝l̴̬̼͐͛̓̐̍ī̵̡̮̙̮̞͈̮̮̆͐̽͛̕n̷̥͙͂̆̚͘͜d̷̛̛͔̝͐̽̿̐̇͠"

Bad, Ant, Sam, and Puffy say in unison. They lower themselves onto the ground, in a kneeling position. A huge chunk of egg fell crushing one of the old L'manburg citizens. Realizing what is happening the people of the SMP start running away and screaming. Finally, once the egg has fully hatched they see what they wish they didn’t. Skeppy was red and mean-looking. He was very different from the nice, funny, and sarcastic blue Skeppy they were used to. Expecting Skeppy to walk out of the egg he has spent now more than 3 months in, he steps to the side, bowing.

Y/n exits the egg, revived by the power the egg has bestowed them. They had a black cloak with a red vine design. Their hair had a white streak through it. They had a netherite axe strapped to their back with a golden strap.

"I'm back," they announce, arms spread wide.

- Timeskip -

Phil’s POV

My crows were coming in huge flocks, which is very unusual, they said something big has happened. Trusting them they say they will take me to the ‘egg’ thing people have been talking about, I’ve heard some bad things from the others. Ranboo decided to join me, he said he needs something to do. Tubbo has been having awful nightmares ever since… well since the accident. But because of Tubbo having nightmares, it has been waking Ranboo every night. He describes Tubbo after a nightmare like he was running for his life. Rather odd. We make it to the egg after a small trip, much faster than anyone would think, due to nether portals.

Tubbo’s POV

Tommy is running down the hall, Ranboo, and I not far behind. We are trying desperately to get away from the creature. Ranboo gets caught, his leg is grabbed. I scream for him, but it's too late the creature has him; we have to keep running.

"TUBBO COME ON," Tommy yells, seeing another creature emerging from the darkness.

"WE AREN'T GOING TO MAKE IT!" I scream, seeing the door is almost closed. We lock eyes with the people inside the room. Karl, Dream, Foolish, Sam, Ant, Quackity, Phil, Techno, and Y/n. They are yelling for us to hurry, we might not make it in time. The door is almost closed. Tommy and I are almost there, another creature appears next to Tommy. The creature with its long spindly arms, bones ligaments, and flaking skin grabs Tommy. It's too late.

"TOMMY!" I cried out, seeing the look of horror on Tommy's face before he was dragged away. My arm was grabbed by Y/n and brought into the safety of the almost closed vault.

BANG. The vault is closed, I am safe. Tommy and Ranboo have been taken. It is too late now.

THUMP, everyone inside looks through the window on the vault door. SLAM, a mutilated and torn apart Ranboo and Tommy.

I let out a cry that would be described to be able to pierce the heavens.

Ranboo's eyes open on his head, his eyes white. He chants in a scratchy voice, "Tubbo." Over and over again. Pressing his hands to his floppy ears, tears flowing freely down his face

"Tubbo," his eyes shoot open, he is not in the vault. He is at home in his bed. Ranboo, desperately trying to wake the sobbing man, comes to an end when I jump up, sweat dripping down his forehead, his heart racing as if he had just run for his life, paler than Dream's a porcine mask.

“Ranboo I-I was so scared,” I cry, a sob ripping through my throat.

“Oh, Tubbo. You should still be scared.”

“W-what?!” I stumble through my words, feeling claws pierce through my back, nearly missing my spin. I scream at the bone-crunching rip as my bad is torn apart. Ranboo drops me to the ground, he has the horrid spindly, and flakey body of the monster, his eyes glowing a bright purple.

“W-why,” I sputter out, falling onto the ground.

Gasping awake again, this time no one is around. No chance to die again. I sit up and put my arms around my head, trying to calm my breathing. Hearing a second breathing close by, I hold my light gasps.

“W-who’s th-ere??” My voice quivering. I hear, a gasp before seeing a trembling Michael peek around the doorway.

“Is Dad ok now, he was making scary noises earlier,” relaxing and saddening that I was scaring Michael.

“Oh I'm sorry bud, come here, I can make it better.” He cautiously walks in and scrambles up the bed. I grab him and settle my son on my lap.

“Is dad ok?” Michael questions.

“Yes, I just had a bad dream,” I explain, calming down knowing my son is safe.

Tommy’s POV

It has been a while since Y/n has left and told me to stay here. They said it might be a while.

SHING. I hear a sound, grabbing my sword, and go to investigate. Looking in the room I heard the sound from I find what looks like a portal. It is gold and red. These are Y/n’s favorite colors. As I am about to enter the room it starts letting off sparks and glowing brighter. As the light fades to the back once more, I unshielded my eyes.

Standing there dressed in gold and red, the twins are back and a lot taller. The now 7'4" twins stand there Will with his sword and Y/n with their signature axe. My eyes going wide, it has been 3 years since I have seen them alive. Tears staining my face once more.

“Well he looks excited to see us,” Will says, nudging Y/n softly.

“Of course he is he has only been waiting 3 years,” They say, smirking proudly.

“So Toms, how ‘ave you been,” They say simultaneously, each reaching a hand towards me. I run at them in a hug. Will makes a small ‘oofing’ sound. I can practically hear Y/n’s eyes making fun of Will. They pull me in, just like the old days, when the days were long and filled with adventures. Despite Phil and Techno never being home.

I had found home once again.

-----

Thank you for reading! Hope y'all have a good day/night. Don't be shy with requests!

Ps. The nightmare part is based off of a nightmare I had a couple of nights ago!

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karlajoyner · 4 years

Text

Worst Enemy (Charlie Gillespie x Reader)

A/n: Sorry this took so long! I just wasn't sure how I wanted to go about this request since I haven’t read that much smut lately to be fully inspired. I read a lot of 5 seconds of summer smut to say the least. Calum Hood smut to be exact and my fingers couldn’t stop typing after that.😂 But I hope you guys like it! Please let me know if you do! Don't read it if you just want a normal imagine. Some normal ones coming soon. Also I have an upcoming announcement after I hit 150 followers!

Requested by: irwindshield (Wattpad)

Warnings: Super Smutty (18+)

————

"And action!" Kenny shouted.

I scowled at the boy in front of me who looked just as mad as I was.

"Seriously Luke your gonna tell me that you and Julie don't have anything going on"

"Y/c/n I already told you we don't! Isn't that enough?!" Charlie spoke standing up from his seat on the couch.

"No it's not. Not when you spent all weekend writing love songs together"

"It was one song and it wasn't about each other"

"One song still means something"

"Why does it even matter to you I'm single now? Isn't that what you wanted? To be free well now you're free to be with whoever you want or did you forget what happened with Reggie?"

"Nothing happened with Reggie. We were joking around. It's not my fault your jealous!" I shouted in frustration.

"Look who's talking" He said getting up in my face. Both our chests heaving in anger as we stared at each other angrily.

"You know what Patterson even when we're both dead I still regret ever falling in love with you all those years ago" I spoke through gritted teeth. I turned around dramatically to walk away, only to have Charlie grab me by the wrist and spin me around. Our faces now inches apart.

In aggravation he crash his lips onto mine shoving his tongue into my mouth. I huffed wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him closer. We both fought for dominance as his hands found their way around my waist lifting me up in the air.

I got so caught up in the heated make out session I almost didn't hear Kenny yell for the end of the scene.

"Cut!" He shouted Charlie immediately letting me go. I scoffed pushing myself away from him to see his hair disheveled, his lips plump, and smeared with my red lipstick. I'd be lying if I didn't admit I wanted to finish what we started now. But I couldn't do that when the insanely hot actor I wanted to push me up against the wall also happened to be my worst enemy.

"That was great guys!" Kenny said walking towards us.

"We might reshoot tomorrow if we have time since this is a kids show and that was a little too not kid friendly. Maybe hold back on the tongue"

"You got it Kenny"

"It's already late enough thank you two for staying back tonight we really had to get this in. Have a good night!"

"It was no problem. See you tomorrow" I smiled at our director as he walked away. I turned back to the boy beside me glaring at him.

"Well that was shitty. He's right you use way too much tongue. It was like Niagara Falls" I spoke using hand gestures. I watched the brunette roll his eyes in annoyance making me grin. Turning back around I began to walk back towards my trailer deciding to just turn in my costume tomorrow. Like I had done so many times after shooting until the am.

"You know I've had plenty of people who think my kissing is amazing" Charlie spoke walking a few feet away from me seeing as his trailer was right beside mine. Unfortunate perks of playing love interest who broke up in the show.

"I hate to break it to you Charles but they lied"

"Shut up. I'm done with your shit for the day"

"You know if there's one thing I hate more than having to shoot a scene so late it's having to shoot it with you Gillespie"

"Yeah well it's no fun for me either. I mean having to make out with a fucking jerk and act like I'm in love with her. Isn't exactly the highlight of my year!" He whispered shouted making sure no one heard us. It was late and the very few people who stayed in their trailers were probably dead asleep due to how long filming went on today.

"Not for me either! Why do you hate me so much? I swear I tried to be fucking nice to you when we met"

"Please you were anything but nice" He argued making me facepalm.

"You fucking liar! I introduced myself. I stuck my hand out for you to shake and you completely denied it. If anything you're the prick and the asshole!" I shouted reaching the outskirts of my trailer.

Suddenly I felt my body collide with the cold vehicle behind me and a cold hand landing on my mouth. My eyes widened looking up at the man in front of me who's chest was heaving.

"You wanna say that to my face y/l/n" He spoke through gritted teeth.

"Look we both promised that we'd keep this little feud between us a secret for the sake of the show and our cast mates. So if you don't shut that big mouth of yours we might just get caught" He whispered making me roll my eyes.

Finally coming back to my senses I removed his hand from my mouth, looking him straight in the eyes.

"You fucking prick" I repeated myself seeing what he would say next. But he didn't say anything. Not a word.

I watched his face closely as his eyes flickered to my lips. He slowly leaned forward hesitant on his actions. Rolling my eyes I took initiative, smashing my lips onto his. I let out a breath as he lifted my leg up to pull me closer. Nearly letting a moan escape as I felt his hard on press against the front of my jeans.

"Can't even fucking make the first move. How fucking dry your sex life must be" I panted teasingly as we pulled away.

"Shut the fuck up" He whispered pressing his lips to mine once more with such a force. I immediately kissed back realization hitting me. We were in the middle of a parking lot filled with trailers.

I pushed him away taking his hand leading him to my trailer that wasn't too far. He complied following closely behind. Pressing his body into mine as I unlocked the door as quick as possible. I stepped into the trailer switching on the dim light. I bit my lip turning around to finally face Charlie who stood there with his beautiful blue eyes darkened with lust.

"Are we really gonna do this?" I asked leaning on the counter in the small kitchen area.

"I don't know. I-I mean we don't have to if you don't want to. We could just leave it here if that's w-what you want"

"Well what do you want?" I asked raising an eyebrow. I watched as his body shifted uncomfortably as I removed the jean jacket on my body leaving me in a silky satin cami.

"I really wanna fuck you" He responded biting his lip. My stomach filling with butterflies getting the response I was hoping for.

"Then do it" I stated watching as he made his way towards me. Crashing his lips onto mine. I let out a huff as he lifted me off the ground and pushed me onto the counter roughly. My back hitting the wood behind me forcefully.

"Seriously?" I panted pulled away from the kiss first.

"Sorry" He muttered sheepishly before diving into my neck. Finding a spot to suck on. I craned my neck allowing him more access not even caring that I'd have to deal with the makeup team tomorrow.

Before giving it a second thought I pulled off my top tossing it across the room leaving me in a teal Lacey bra. The same color of the cami I was wearing.

"Holy fuck" Charlie whispered most blankly admiring the view. I let out a giggle tugging at his shirt as well signaling I wanted it off. He quickly got the message.

It was my turn to drool seeing his tightly toned abs turning me on even more than I already was. I was knocked out of my trance by Charlie kissing me passionately once more. My eyes fluttering shut, pulling the hairs on his neck. Our tongues now fighting for dominance.

His hands moved away from my waist to my back. Unhooking my bra from my body. We shifted slightly, the material being flung across the room. Within seconds his hands roamed my body freely once more. A groan escaping my mouth as his lips moved down my neck.

Until eventually settling on my nipple. My core was now throbbing in anticipation of his next moves.

I bit my lip trying to keep quiet but at the rate his hands were moving it was nearly impossible. I watched as he moved down my body. Undoing my jeans quickly.

I whimpered as Charlie spread my legs apart. Toying with the thin fabric of the panties I was wearing. Feeling myself getting wetter by the second I grasped onto his hair. "Fuck Charlie please" I whined as he began to place kisses up my thighs. Each one a little longer than the last.

"Please what?"

"Don't make me fucking ask again Gillespie. I don't beg" I spoke pulling him harder from his hair. Forcing him to look up at me.

He growled at my actions ripping apart the fabric and tossing it off to the side.

My back arched feeling his slender fingers enter me. A loud moan escaping my lips as he skillfully pumped his fingers in and out of my entrance.

I bit my lip tightly opening my legs wider to give him better access. Only to feel the feeling of pleasure leave my body.

"What the fu-" My words were cut off by Charlie grabbing me by the thighs. Pulling me closer to the edge of the counter.

"Holy shit" I moaned as he dipped his head between my legs to attach himself to my now sensitive cunt. Sucking on it harshly with no hesitation. His tongue moved around so effortlessly. I threw my head back as my fingers entangled into his hair wanting to feel him now more than ever.

"So fucking good" He groaned pulling away to add two fingers. Doubling the satisfaction. My lips parting to slightly as my eyes screwed shut.

"Charlie I'm s-so close" I muttered feeling his fingers spread up. Within seconds he sent me over the edge. Pleasure coursing through my body. I panted loudly attempting to steady my breathing. Watching as Charlie stood up. Lifting his glistening fingers up to his lips sucking off every last drop of cum that coated them. I let out another moan at the sight feeing myself getting turned on again.

"You okay?" He asked raising an eyebrow at me. I giggled seeing his already plump lips swollen.

"Perfectly fine Charles" I spoke wiping off my juices running down his chin with a towel nearby.

"A thousand times better now actually"

"I'm glad to hear you say that baby. Cause I'm not done with you" He whispered holding me firmly by the waist.

"Oh really?" I asked raising an eyebrow at the boy.

"Well unless you wanna wait until tomorrow after our first date"

"First date? Are you asking me out?"

"So what if I am? You got a problem with it y/l/n?"

"Nope. No problem here. Well except for the fact that I'm all dirty and sweaty" I said running my fingers through his messy hair.

"Well that just won't do for my princess will it? Round 2 in the shower?" He questioned making me laugh.

"If you think you can make me cum again then yes" I laughed pulling him into a passionate kiss.

"Oh I know I can" He mumbled into my lips before lifting me off the counter. I giggled as he walked to the bathroom in the back of the trailer. The small confined space making me realize just how hot he actually was. It was. I balanced myself as he put me down to turn on the water. I began to set it at a warm temperature, Listening as Charlie stripped himself of the rest of his clothes from behind me.

"Your so beautiful" Charlie whispered wrapping his arms around my waist from behind.

"Mmm you weren't saying that last week"

"I wasn't saying it but I was thinking it" He spoke as I felt something poking me from behind.

"You think about me?" I asked turning around to face him.

"A lot" He responded as I walked backwards. The warm water hitting me from above for a split second before my back hit the cold wall.

"Good" I responded as he pinned me up against the wall.

I huffed as his large hands grabbed me from behind my thighs. Wrapping my legs around his waist. Our make out session getting more heated by the second. Pulling him closer wanting nothing more than to feel him inside of me.

He was quick to line himself up to my entrance. Entering me slowly.

"C-can I move?" He asked after a moment. I nodded thankful he let me adjust to his size.

Within seconds we both were a wreck as he pounded into me. A string of curse words leaving our lips as the warm water fell over us.

I moaned as he hit my g-spot. My legs becoming weaker the faster he moved. I felt familiar knot forming at the pit of my stomach as he let out a noise of disgruntlement.

"Fuck baby I'm almost there"

I nodded along. Not daring to attempt to form any words. Both of us reaching our climax one after the other.

"We should do this again sometime. You know after our date" He grinned placing me down gently.

"I agree" I spoke moving under the water. I sighed contently as his arms wrapped around me from behind. His lips grazing my skin as he place chaste kisses upon it. A small smile forming on my face.

As much as this was the end of our little feud it also a new beginning to a new relationship.

————

Up Next: Owen Patrick Joyner x Reader

Sacha Carlson x Reader

Booboo Stewart x Reader

Send in your requests!

#charlie gillespie #luke patterson x reader #luke jatp #luke patterson #alex jatp #flynn jatp #jeremy shada #julie and the phantoms #julie molina #madison reyes #owen patrick joyner #reggie jatp #jadah marie #nick jatp #owen joyner #alex x reader #reggie x reader #sacha carlson #sunset curve

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i-dont-want-your-hysteria · 3 years

Text

Too Daze Gone (Joe x Reader)

(Happy birthday to me! You’re all going to suffer. This is a little something that I wrote over 2 1/2 years ago based on a concept that I thought of three years ago; one of the first ideas I ever had for a Def Leppard fanfic. I made some very minor edits to it ((since I’m not 17 anymore)), and honestly, this is still one of my favorite things that I’ve ever written. But I know you guys are gonna have my head for it later...)

Prompt: It’s December of 1989. You and Joe are recently married, the world has now officially entered the post-Hysteria era, and- well...

-----

December 1989

The soft morning sunlight was seeping through the plane’s window right next to you. Joe’s head was resting on your arm, and you used your opposite hand to stroke his hair soothingly. He had one hand on his stomach, along with his green eyes closed and shut away from the world. The plane was flying steadily now, but your minds were anything but steady at the moment. There was so much to say, but no place or time to say it. It was almost as if you two were having a telepathic conversation; there was so much thinking between you both, yet nothing was being said.

“You alright, Joe?” the voice of a London guitarist broke your attention from the window. He’d strolled over to the seats where you and the man in question were sitting, and let his concern get the better of him.

There was far too much concern going around today, so Phil's question was rather unnecessary.

“Oh, he’s fine,” you answered sweetly, knowing that Joe didn’t want to answer, and also not wanting to give Phil any hint to your invisible nerves, “He’s just feeling rather sick is all.”

Phil sighed, “Ah, yeah, the turbulence wasn't the greatest.”

You decided to go along with Phil’s theory of why Joe wasn’t feeling well. After all, it was believable.

“Yeah, we haven’t been awake that long, either. You know how he can be in the morning. He’s just sick of the day, really,” you lightly joked. Today was not necessarily a good day for jokes. There was a deep, underlying sadness beneath the surface of everybody's tone no matter how much they joked around.

“Oh, so he’s got morning sickness, I see?” Phil joked along, trying to lighten the universally tense mood, “Well, congratulations on the pregnancy, Joe.”

Your heart jumped and you forced a chuckle at the statement. You felt Joe’s heart jump, too.

“Thanks, Phil,” Joe cracked a gentle smile for him as he walked away. You could feel how forced the smile was as Joe slowly reached out and squeezed your hand. He was definitely more worried than you.

“Shh, I know. I’m worried, too,” you whispered to him so quietly that you could barely hear yourself, “But we’ll deal with this later.”

~18 hours earlier~

You weaved your hands together with the utmost anxiety as you waited for Joe to get back from a small trip to the supermarket. As you waited, there was no stopping the racing thoughts in your mind. Once one thought appeared and rooted itself within you, it was impossible to keep it from rolling into a snowball of others. It was driving you absolutely mad on the inside. Keeping calm on the outside, however, came rather easily. It almost felt like second nature at the moment. Of course, you knew that was all going to change the second Joe got back.

Everything was going to change the second Joe got back.

When he did come back, you immediately stood up and went over to him, trying to be casual and lighthearted.

"Hey! How was the store?" came the greeting from you. Your voice was nearly on the verge of breaking from the tension of the whole situation.

"A fucking treat," he grumbled sarcastically, putting four bags down on the table, "The whole bloody place was packed, the service was piss poor, traffic on the way back, you name it."

You kissed him on the cheek for a few seconds in consolation, quickly making his small dimple appear as a result. Normally, it melted your heart to see him smile, but this time, it made it almost vibrate with worry. It hurt to see him happy now, since you knew it wouldn't last long.

He turned and put his hands on your waist, "I suppose it was worth it to get back to you, though."

You wrapped your arms around his neck, quickly pecked him on the lips, telling him, "You're too kind. Now let's see what you've looted up on-"

Desperate to distract both of you from each other, you turned to the grocery bags and started to pull the items out. You did it in a sped-up manner to keep your hands from shaking too visibly. You had no idea when to mention what had to be mentioned.

"I'll tell you what," Joe spoke up, his annoyance still audible in his voice, "The service down there was so fucking slow. Took me a half hour to get four bloody bags worth."

"I'll say you took a while," you impulsively decided to create a segue- any segue- that may get you closer to your fated subject. You blurted out "You’re late."

As he continued pulling out the groceries, he cocked an eyebrow, and asked without looking at you, "What do you mean I’m late?"

"Just, you're late, that's all," you shrugged, the anxiety overwhelming you more. It was getting close to the subject now.

"I'm not late," he chuckled, still not looking up or fully understanding you. You both often liked to joke and tease each other, so this wasn’t anything strange to him.

"No," you stated calmly, going completely motionless with fear, “But I am."

He didn't completely comprehend what you had said. He began to put away the groceries and asked you obliviously, "What do you mean you're late?" Late for what?"

You pressed on, remaining rooted to a motionless state and staring at him, "No, Joe... I’m late."

"You mean that this month you didn't get your-" he started off normally, but then paused as the penny dropped. He froze, and dropped the can he was holding. Your heart sank in your chest at his reaction. Now was the time to talk about it, and you could sense it wasn't going to be pleasant. Part of you began to think that this is how it might end for you two.

He turned around, looking almost mortified and whispered, "Oh my god... are you...?"

"I don't know..." you were shaking now, "I'm just assuming."

For a moment you both stood there, staring at each other, lost for words.

Another impulse suddenly arose within you, and you blurted out again with a wavering and worried voice, "I-I hope I'm not, Joe, and I know you don't want me to be, either, because now is not a good time for this to be happening! You’re at the peak of your career, and we’ve got the new album on the way, then you'll be on tour again- and-"

"Hey, hey, shh," Joe moved forward and put his hands on your arms, "Calm down... it's okay, it's okay. First of all, who ever said I didn't want this? You can't just assume that I wouldn't be okay with it... and I'm not mad- really, I swear! Second of all, this isn't set in stone yet. We'll have to find out if you are first, and if you are, we'll... then we'll make it work out somehow. Don’t think too much just yet; try to relax.”

You blew out a shaky exhale and muttered, “Yeah, okay...”

“Have you been sick?"

"No, but something just feels... off."

"How late are you?"

"About a week..."

"Have you been this late in the past, but gotten your period anyway?"

"Yes..."

"Then we don't know for sure," he kissed the top of your head, embracing you and reassuring, “So what if you're late? That doesn't have to mean anything! I'm worried, too, but we can't just jump to conclusions like this. I wouldn't even put the stakes at 50-50 right now. All this worrying is probably over nothing. You could just be overthinking."

You turned your head and attempted to look up at him to say, "But this is a child, Joe... if there's even a small possibility that this child exists, we've got to assume that it does... we can't just ignore it for too long."

"You've got a point, you've got a point, but just for a second, genuinely consider the possibility that you're not-" he didn't dare say the “p” word, "-you know..."

You sighed into his shoulder, fighting back against tears that wanted to fall, "Okay, okay, you could be right, but there's so much that might have to be done- we can't just put this off..."

"We can until we know for sure," he suggested, "If it's worrying you so much right now, then I'll run out to the corner store and pick up a test. We can sort this out once and for all. How long did you wanna wait before taking a test?"

"I don't know, I don't know," came the drawn out reply as a few tears spilled from you, "Maybe a day or two or three, but I'm just getting so worried that it might be true, I can't wait anymore."

"Okay, then you won't have to wait anymore," he tilted your chin up to give you a quick and thoughtful kiss, then wiped away your tears, "I'll run to the store quick and buy us a test. Is that okay?"

"Yes, please just do it. I'm sorry- you just got back from the store and-"

He laughed and squeezed you tighter, swaying with you in his arms, "Ah, don't worry about it; it's a necessary trip now."

"You're taking this a lot better than I thought you would."

"What'd you think I was gonna do? Leave you?" he chuckled lightheartedly, though he guessed exactly what you were thinking.

You faked a chuckle in reply, "Yeah, kinda... I had a lot of time to overthink everything."

"Well, would you leave me? Especially if I were in your shoes?"

It was your turn to squeeze him tighter (and laugh into his chest), "Joe, if you were in my shoes, I think we'd have a real problem."

"Oh, I know, I know- but apart from that- would you leave me?"

"Of course not..."

"Exactly. You wouldn't leave me, so I definitely won't leave you. You know we've always looked after each other, and I still plan on holding up my end of the bargain."

He kissed you again, longer this time, before softly assuring you, “I love you. Don't ever think that I’d abandon you to raise a child on your own, cos' it'll never ever be a possibility. I'll be here no matter what. Positive or negative."

***

Positive or negative, indeed, you told yourself as you wearily gazed out of the plane's window. You still weren't completely sure how to feel about the outcome of the previous day, but- as you told Joe before- you had to deal with it later. There were more pressing matters currently at hand. Your previous issue could wait for an extra day or two. The more serious problem that you all were on your way to currently needed the most attention. This particular problem also seemed to outline a theme for the past 24 hours; accidental life or accidental death.

~17 hours earlier~

You both sat on the bathroom floor in quiet anxiety. Your hands were joined in a world of worry. At the moment, it was impossible to tell who was more worried, since neither of you could bring yourselves to speak.

The longest two minutes of your lives were currently taking place. The test was sitting on the counter of the sink, and neither of you were counting down to when you could look at it again. Every now and then, a reassuring thought would come to mind that you were all worked up over nothing. After all, Joe was right; you barely had any evidence other than the fact that you were late, so you couldn't just assume the worst. On the other hand though, you couldn't help but feel that there was some impending doom about to come, almost like you felt it instinctively.

With you both being scared shitless at the moment (and not even trying to hide it), you sensed that deep down, both of you knew what the result was going to be. Neither of you wanted to admit it, though.

A few rooms away, the phone suddenly sounded off, shattering the tension and making you both jump. It was almost like a form of divine intervention to prevent you from thinking any more. Almost immediately, Joe lifted his hand away and quietly said that he'd answer it. He stood up and left, leaving you alone with a possibly huge revelation sitting on the counter a few feet away. However, that would no longer be your biggest concern, for you could easily overhear Joe talking on the phone.

"'Ello?" he answered before pausing and replying anxiously, "No, I really don't have a minute... I can't say, but I don't have time to chat. You alright, mate?”

There was an unnerving pause before you heard Joe ask, "Why?"

There was an even longer pause before he spoke again. Your heart was pounding more. That gut feeling that your lives were about to change for the worse grew enormously without warning. On top of that, you suddenly realized that it had been well over two minutes at this point. Your future awaited you now.

"Fuck... oh my god..." Joe's voice was a lot more quiet now, "...oh my god, is he...?"

Now, you began weaving your hands together, slowly growing more and more impatient and worried.

"Dammit," Joe said a little louder, "We'll we've gotta go, then. We've gotta go as soon as possible. What about Rick and Sav...? Alright, then. We'll meet you there tomorrow morning- I've really gotta go and tell Y/N right now. I'll call you in a bit. Yeah, alright... just try and calm down, mate- okay? See ya, then."

As soon as he hung up, you heard him rush back to the bathroom.

"Y/N, he huffed before he was even in the room, "Y/N, something's happened and we’ve gotta-“

He froze in the doorway upon seeing you now standing and completely covering the test in your hands.

"No," he moved forward and put a hand on yours, "Please don't look at it yet; something awful's happened and I don't know how much sudden news we can take at this point. Did you look at it?”

You shook you head, not breaking eye contact with him, "No, but now I'm too scared to take my hands off. What's happened?"

He came right out with it, "Steve's been found unconscious at a bar in Minneapolis. They took him to a hospital, he’s in intensive care and... and he’s pretty bad.”

Right then and there, you dropped the test in your hands with a gasp. You were speechless, but part of you couldn't help but ask, "Is- is he gonna make it?”

You suddenly saw tears in Joe's eyes when he answered, "I don't know... he won't die unless we knock some fucking sense into him! That was Phil who just called, and he sounded scared shitless..."

"W-well what are we gonna do? Is anyone going to see Steve?"

"We are. Tomorrow morning we're flying out with Phil, Mutt, Tony, and Peter."

"Wait, what about Rick and Sav?"

"They both can't make it on short notice. We're gonna have to give Steve a beatin’ over the head from them.”

Just like that, you forgot all about the test on the floor. Steve was dying, and that was enough to flood your mind. You wanted to cry, you wanted to hug Joe, you wanted to scream, and most of all, you wanted to see Steve and sob your brains out to him.

"He's never gonna get better, is he?" you quietly asked, not particularly looking for an answer. Joe shrugged and sighed, running his hands through his hair.

He coldly chuckled in a quiet voice, "Not unless we keep drilling it into his head that he's gonna kill himself!"

Hanging your head out of astonishment, you sat on the counter, realizing that this was the biggest blow to your lives since Rick’s accident.

At least, it would be until you saw the result of the test on the floor.

"Joe..." you whispered to him, staring down at your hands, "Should we look at the test? Should we wait until we get back?"

Joe did nothing more than stare at you, frowning nervously. He moved his own hands forward, placed them on top of yours, and took a deep breath.

“We’re only gonna be more worried if we wait... so we might as well settle things now.”

Joe slowly got on his knees, and felt on the floor for the test without looking at it. When he located it, he rose back to his feet, and brought the test forward. He kept it covered with all his fingers wrapped around it to conceal the verdict.

Blowing out a trembling breath, you looked at him as he did at you, and he gently unfolded his fingers from the test. You both simultaneously looked down to see the clearly marked result. In that second, you were fairly certain that life would never be the same.

In fact, you were positive.

***

“Now is literally the worst possible time to talk about this, Joe,” you whispered again so no one else on the plane could hear, “It can wait a day or two. We’ve got to worry about Steve first."

Joe nodded a little, agreeing with you, “Okay, I suppose it can wait.”

“Don't stress yourself out so much; it's literally making you sick. Besides, I’m the one who’s supposed to be sick,” you chuckled, “That’s not your job.”

“Oh shut up,” he laughed a little, “It really is the turbulence… and the fact that Steve’s… and you’re… and I’m surprised you’re not this overwhelmed.”

You sighed and turned your head towards the window, “Yeah... I’m really surprised, too. This is gonna be one hell of a story to tell this kid when they’ve grown up...”

“I feel sorry that their story had to start out like this,” Joe put another hand on top of your already joined hands with a guilty exhale, “With such bad timing...”

As you watched the illuminated clouds move on by the window of the plane, you couldn’t help but think that things truly would be okay at one point: like that maybe this wouldn’t be such bad timing after all. Things would all work out eventually. How far away that merciful checkpoint was, you’d never be able to guess.

***

Later that day, you found yourself sitting in a circle of people in a rather pleasant-looking and sunlit room. For such a nice day that it was, nothing about the day seemed to fit the mood the weather provided; the universe simply wouldn’t allow it. Now was the time for the serious matter you came for; you were desperately trying to help Steve.

“Steve, you’re scaring the shit out of us,” Phil read bluntly from his letter to his best friend, trying not to let soft emotion seep into his tone. He knew he needed to be stern, but caring towards him.

The whole time he spoke, you wanted to devote all of your attention to him and Steve, but soon found that you couldn't. The constant thought of your unborn child was first on your mind, and although you didn’t want that taking over your thoughts, it was beginning to eat you alive. You almost felt like you couldn't hold the secret back any longer, despite only knowing for a day. In any other circumstances, it would have been so much easier to keep it secret. Today, however, was the worst possible day, with the worst possible scenario.

Every now and then, Joe would look over at you to see how you were doing, and turn back to not be conspicuous to everyone else. You could practically sense his growing worry. Going on in this manner for so long was starting to make your own unstoppable thoughts bubble to the surface. You couldn't hold out for much longer, and was even starting to think outside the box about your while situation. Was being with child really a problem? Did it have to be a bad thing right now? Could you actually find a way to rip some positivity from it all and shed some light on this situation?

That's when it hit you.

When Phil was done his speech, some silent tears were shed by everyone in the circle (including Steve). Near silence commenced afterwards (which only reminded you that there was no distraction from your thoughts now). You reached out to Joe slowly, and took his hand in a tight grip without looking at him. While you felt his eyes on you, you didn't dare look at him.

"Has anyone else got something to say to add onto that?" Peter softly asked, looking around the circle. Your heart began to pound; an opening for you was coming.

Phil slowly began to comment, looking at his feet, "Well, there's nothing I can say to get the point across any more. We can beg and plead all we want but the point still stands, Steve. I know you're not a fan of us guilt tripping you to hell- but we don't want to beat you up; that’s not what we came here to do. We love you, mate... so it doesn't matter whether or not we guilt trip you by saying we're worried sick, or- or..."

"I'm pregnant," you stated simply, closing your eyes and squeezing Joe's hand. While you didn't see it, you felt Joe inhale and look at you instinctively. For the single day that you were aware of your condition, you and Joe had feared the "p" word, and avoided using it at all costs.

Phil didn't entirely comprehend what you said, and kept talking on, "Exactly, even if we said that-"

"No-" you sat up in your seat and opened your eyes, now shaking again, "I mean... I'm pregnant."

You looked over at Joe, who seemed tired, yet understanding. Your eyes went down to his hand as you corrected yourself, "We're pregnant."

All eyes were on you now, but no one had any inclination to speak for a moment.

“Are you serious?” Mutt broke the silence in astonishment, “You're fucking with us right now, aren't you?"

“She’s not,” Joe shook his head, still fixing his loving eyes on you.

Steve looked at Phil and stated coldly, "I thought you said you guys weren't gonna make stuff up to guilt trip me."

"Does it look like I'm making this up?!" you snapped at him, anxious and shameful tears brimming your eyes. You looked around at everyone, landing your eyes on Steve.

"So you're serious?” he asked softly, frowning as he flicked off ashes from his cigarette, “You really are pregnant?”

You nodded, trying to hold yourself together.

“When did you find out?” Peter inquired gently, coming off as the most calm member of the group.

Your voice began to break as you told him with a sad chuckle, “Yesterday... we were waiting for the result of the test right when you called, Phil...”

Phil's eyes lit up at your statement, and he apologized, "Oh- fucking hell... Joe... you even said you didn't have time to talk... and what I said on the plane this morning- must've only made things worse... guys, I'm so sor-"

"That wasn't your fault, mate," Joe smiled sadly, "There's no way you could've known."

"It was just bad timing," you stared at Joe's hand in yours, feeling him shaking as well.

No one spoke for a while after that; no one could think of the right thing to say. It seems you both had scared them all into silence (even more than Steve had). Everyone in the circle couldn't speak because they no longer saw you and Joe the same way. A minute ago, you were still Y/N and Joe. Now, you were mum and dad. The others didn't know how to speak to those strange new people just yet.

“Well, congratulations, for one thing,” Tony broke the silence with a soft smile. A few muffled chuckles and agreements went around the circle, but it wasn’t what you or Joe wanted to hear.

“No, no, that’s not the point,” you threw your hands out in frustration, “We never even planned on telling anyone today! Don’t you guys see how suddenly life can come and go? Twenty-four hours ago Joe and I didn’t even have a child, and now we do. Twenty-four hours ago, we didn’t even think that there was a possibility of you dying-“ you pointed at Steve, giving him your own furious input, “-and now there is. It’s just all so surreal, but no matter how bad the timing of your life is, there’s always time to fight for survival. And that's exactly what we need to get a grip on right now.”

Steve put out his cigarette at this point, looking as if he were genuinely listening to you now more than ever.

“And I guess timing was a real bitch to us today,” you put a hand on your abdomen for the first time since you found out, addressing Steve directly, “But I’d say now you’ve got a little bit more to fight for. Just think about this whole situation; it’s not exactly a tale to be proud of. If this story keeps getting worse, and this is how it ends for you- I don’t want that to be the story of Uncle Steve. I want our child to be born into a world where you're thriving- where they... where they actually have an Uncle Steve."

You had hit a nerve (or a soft spot, to say the least). Before you even realized exactly what you had said, everyone in the circle was crying, including you and Steve. Joe looked at you with his face smothered in tears, but smiling, no less.

The seven of you remained like that for a minute or two, absorbing what had really hit everyone hard, and quietly crying your brains out.

Steve didn’t raise his head to ask you with heartfelt astonishment, “...Uncle Steve, really?”

“C’mere, you fucking idiot,” you sprang to your feet at one point and rushed over to him, taking him in your arms as he stood to take you in his without the slightest bit of hesitation.

“I love you so much, Steve,” you sobbed into his chest, “And I will always care about you. You mean so much to me, and I know you’ll mean so much to the baby, too.”

One by one, everyone else in the circle joined in the hug, each of them murmuring their love to Steve in their own affectionate way. Once you were all broken up, Joe embraced you himself and kissed you over and over again.

“Hey, back off from her,” Mutt teased, “Haven’t you done enough?”

“I still can’t believe you knocked her up,” Phil sighed with happy disbelief, “That’s something we only ever joked about!”

“Yeah well, it doesn’t have to be seen as a joke anymore,” Joe put his hands on your hips and smiled, tearing up all over again, “I’m gonna be a dad...!”

Peter chimed in, “Now that’s a bit scary.”

“It’s not scary,” you chuckled, stroking the back of Joe’s head, “It’s exciting! Timing is a bitch... but I think I’m ready for anything time can throw at me, now.”

Reaching that point of acceptance was a day-long journey that you thought would never have a final destination. All was nearly well in that moment where you and Joe hugged with a seemingly-changed Steve standing by. Right then and there, the future seemed bright for everyone; including your unborn child. An eternity went by in those two days you were gone for, and even though the next day you found out that your test result was a false positive, and Steve only lived for about another year, that false positive seemed to be just what you all needed to keep the world at bay.

The end

#*dances with an umbrella as your tears rain down on me* :3DD #your tears are the best birthday presents i could ask for #def leppard #def leppard fanfic #def leppard x reader #joe elliott x reader #original content #i honestly don't know if I'll ever write anything that can top this as far as a one shot goes #phil collen #steve clark #peter mensch #mutt lange #i thought of this when I was into Leppard for like 2 months #maybe less than that #also the pic of joe on the right really makes me fEEL THINGS #yes i stole the title of this from a Billy Squier song #i started writing this on august 13th 2018 and finished it on december 9th 2018 #I wanted to post this in december 2020 but I was taking a hiatus

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