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falcqns · 3 years

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Hii i have this request in mind like Chris Evans x Actress! Singer! Reader like the reader and chris dated for 3y idk but they broke up but the reader always visit chris’ family bc she treated them like family aswell specialy when the reader’s parents died so she spend Christmas there or any occasions bc chris’ family invite her and when chris got a new gf the reader is kinda hurt bc she still love chris but she try to look like she doesn’t care but then she released her new song its called deja vu (by olivia rodrigo) and she release it to her bday so when the song is released the fans knew its abt chris bc of the new gf (chris’ fam doesn’t like the new gf and the fans kinda didn’t support them bc of the girl’s attitude) and chris’ family invites her over bc they want to show the reader something and when the reader got there they surprise her for her bday and congratulate her and turns out chris is there too with his new gf🤨and the reader knew chris’ new gf hated her bc of her look and scott called you all to the living room and watch the mv of the reader’s new song and when the mv ends scott and the fam congratuleted the reader and chris’ gf is giving the reader looks again and chris is noticing it and when the reader is in the kitchen alone getting something chris talk to her and congratulate her and chris’ new gf wrapped her arms around chris and chris tried to stop her to make a scene but she started a scene and scream at the reader but the reader cut her off and embarrassing her and the reader prove the new gf shes first not her (idk if that make sense lol) and the new gf leave(idk you can make her a random name so its not only “new gf”) and the reader and chris talk and they got back together, you can do wha you want at the end this is just so random bc i was listening to deja vu and advance thank you if you do my request! Stay safe! ❤️ and im so sorry if this is so long

Deja Vu

pairing: Chris Evans x singer!reader

warnings: parents death, major angst, fluff.

a/n: thank you for the request! Hope you enjoy!

You had known Chris since college, when you had met him in your communications class. You two had grown close quickly, and became best friends.

He brought you home every Christmas Eve, before you would go home to your parents house on Christmas Day. You had always felt like a part of the family, so when your parents passed a way, you turned to him.

You and your parents were driving home from a Christmas Day church service, when you were hit by a semi truck. It had completely totalled the car, and your parents had died on impact. You had been sitting in the back, and only had a broken leg from where your moms seat had been pushed back into it roughly.

You had been pulled from the car and sat in a second ambulance, while your parents were transported in another. You knew you'd never forget watching that ambulance door close and drive away, knowing that was the last time you'd ever see them.

When the police officers asked if there was anyone you could call, you didn't know what to do. Your parents were both only children, so you had no aunts, uncles or cousins. You were an only child too, so you had no siblings, and your grandparents had passed when you were little, your other ones passing before you were born.

So when the officer asked you, you told him the Evans’ phone number. Lisa picked up on the second ring, and you tearfully explained what had happened as the shock wore off. She immediately said she’d meet you at the hospital, and not to worry, that she and Bob would take care of you.

You were taken to the hospital and treated for your broken leg. Less than an hour after you arrived, Lisa arrived at the hospital with Chris in tow. They comforted you, and took you home with them. You stayed in Chris’s room for the first few days, and when you were given your own room, you still had a hard time sleeping alone, so Chris ended up in your bed with you most nights, not that he minded.

You never went back to college, and instead turned to singing as a release from all the pain you were feeling. You started out posting covers on YouTube, and gradually progressed to getting a record deal with Interscope Records, which didn't surprise anyone who knew you. You had immense talent, and your parents used to tell you that they were counting down the days before you were a celebrity.

When Chris graduated college and told you he was moving to Los Angeles, he convinced you to come with him. Prices were high in LA, and he didn't want to be separated from you for too long, so you joined him. He got to be an actor, and you got to be a singer, which is what you both had wanted since you were younger.

You went to every one of Chris’s movie premieres, and he attended as many of your live shows as he could. You supported him through all his relationships and his breakups, and played the middle man whenever he and Jenny would fight, up until the very end. You told yourself you did that because you just wanted what's best for him, but you both kind of knew that wasn't the reason at all.

Throughout your time living together, you friendship grew, as did your feelings for each other. You'd be lying if you didn't have a small crush on him in college, and those feelings only grew as time went on, especially since the two of you decided to only get a one bedroom apartment. Mainly because it was cheap, but also because Chris made a decision a week after your parents death to never allow you to sleep alone because of the nightmares that would occur if he wasn't there.

So, when you won your first award for your first album, named ‘hand in hand’, he kissed you the second you came off the stage with your award in hand. It blew your mind that he felt the same, but you were happy nonetheless. You two began dating that night, and everything was perfect.

Until, you were invited by 5 Seconds of Summer to be their opening act on their newest tour. You had agreed, and Chris let you go. You two had been dating for over 3 years, and you thought your relationship would be fine.

You quickly realized however that that wasn't the case, when the two of you started fighting less than two weeks into the tour. The fights weren't anything major, more petty things like ‘did you change the Netflix password’ or ‘why did you take this piece of clothing, that was mine and it was my favourite.’ All around stupid fights.

You had turned to Calum, who you were closest with, and he consoled you as much as you could. You realized however, that you couldn't be with Chris anymore when he drunk called you in the middle of the night while you were in the UK and got angry with you when you answered and told him to call you back in the morning when he was sober, to which he proceeded to brag that he slept with his co star at the time, Jessica Alba, you freaked out and ended things.

You got a message from Jessica on instagram the next day letting you know that they did not sleep together, and that she was sorry he even said it. You assured her it was fine, and felt relief.

Relief because you got to the bottom of the situation, but also relief from your relationship. You didn't know what happened in those few weeks, but you knew the relationship was turning toxic, and you wanted to stop it before that happened. Neither you or Chris needed that. You told him you’d find a new place to live, and by the time tour ended, you bought yourself a house in Beverly Hills, and moved out of the apartment.

Chris moved out not long after, and bought his own house. He had tried to stay friends with you, but you didn't want that at that point in time. You were still hurting, and needed time to heal.

Once you felt ready to date again, you were asked to be Calum’s date to the Peoples Choice Awards, you accepted. You knew Chris would be there, and you were hoping to talk to him, and maybe work it out. He had told you during the break up that he would always wait for you to come back, and that he still loved you, and always would.

But you knew that wasn't the case when he showed up on the red carpet, with a new actress named Myra Woodfield. You had smiled at him, while trying not to break down inside, but he gave you a dirty look and rolled his eyes at you when Calum wrapped his arm around your waist for a picture. You furrowed your eye brows and took a good look at Myra.

She looked almost exactly like you. Same build, same hair colour, same eye colour. The only difference is that she was slightly taller than you. You didn't know why he was replacing you, but it hurt. You pushed it out of your head however, and enjoyed the night with your best friend.

It was a few months later when you were awoken by the constant dinging of your phone. You unlocked it, and saw you had a lot of unread messages from Luke, Ashton, Michael, Calum, and your other best friend Ashe about Chris’s new movie trailer, you sighed.

You watched the trailer, and sighed when it looked like a recreation of a bunch of moments in your relationship with him, only Myra was in your place.

Your fans and some of Chris’s had commented on it, and Myra immediately became aggressive with them, and insulted them. She told them that you were a nobody who could make Chris happy, which she was glad about because she made him happy how.

Within minutes of this happening the hashtag #cancelmyrawoodfield was trending on twitter. You shamelessly went through the tweets and like and retweeted a couple. Then an idea popped in your head.

With a quick google search, you had a plan.

You had written a new song called Deja Vu after the peoples choice awards, and it was had been recorded a few weeks ago, and you just had to decide on a date to release it, and make a decision on the music video. Her birthday was in about 3 months, which gave you enough time to get everything in place to drop on her birthday.

Was it evil? Yes. Did you care? Not really. Besides, you inherited your pettiness from your mother and you knew she’d be proud of you. You called your manager and label, and got it planned out.

When the new music video had been announced, Lisa called you and invited you home to watch it premiere with the family. You accepted, knowing Chris and Myra would be there, and that her birthday would get overshadowed by the release of your music video.

So, three weeks later, you were sitting with Lisa, Bob, Carly, Shanna, Scott, Chris and Myra in Lisa’s living room, waiting for the video to premiere.

Scott had picked you up at the airport earlier in the morning along with Carly and Shanna, and the four of you had a laugh about the face that no one acknowledged Myra’s birthday, not even Chris. It was mean, but no one liked her.

Lisa absolutely hated her, but didn't want to upset Chris, so you got a call shortly after the PCA’s from her and the two of you ranted about her for a good two hours.

You watched as the timer counted down from 10, and then the screen turned black. You took a deep breath and watched Chris out of the corner of your eye.

You had searched for a while for a guy who looked similar to Chris, and you stumbled on Andrew Siwicki. He didn't look exactly like Chris, but it was close enough that everyone would know who the song was about if they didn't already. Andrew was a fan of Chris and hated Myra too, so he was more than glad to help you out.

The music began to play, and you watched as the black screen faded in on two people walking along the beach, holding hands.

“Car rides to Malibu Strawberry ice cream One spoon for two And trading jackets Laughing 'bout how small it looks on you,”

The next scene was a recreation of yours and Chris’s first date where you two had a picnic on the beach, and ended up splashing each other with the ocean water. Towards the end, everyone watched as Andrew picked you up and threw you into the water the same way Chris always did.

You glanced at him, and could have burst into laughter at how uncomfortable Chris looked, but more importantly how angry Myra looked.

“Watching reruns of Glee Being annoying Singing in harmony I bet she's bragging To all her friends, saying you're so unique, hmm,”

The next scene was you and Andrew (who was dressed as Ransom) on what appeared to be a recreation of the Knives Out set, running around with a dog that looked like Dodger chasing after you, the two of you laughing. The next shot was the two of you kissing behind a trailer, seemingly hiding from production.

“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was our place, I found it first I made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you,”

The next scene was the two of you driving through Southern California, in a car that was almost identical to Chris’s. You two were laughing and singing along to the song, your hair whipping around you.

You took a deep breath, knowing this next scene would piss him right off.

“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? (Ah), hmm Do you get déjà vu, huh?”

This scene was you, along with the rest of Chris’s family sitting around a living room that looked like the one you were in now, a Christmas tree full of presents in the corner. The camera panned across everyone as everyone was talking and settled on you and Andrew and the two of you recreated the scene where Chris whispered in your ear how much he loved you, and couldn't wait to start a family with you.

“Do you call her Almost say my name? 'Cause let's be honest We kinda do sound the same,”

The screen showed you and Andrew saying goodbye at the airport, with 5 Seconds of Summer standing behind you. They weren't actually there when you left for tour, but Luke suggested it to piss Chris off, and you had agreed.

Then there was a small montage of clips from tour, including a shot of Michael elbow dropping Ashton into a pool, which made everyone laugh, except Chris and Myra. The montage was followed up by you sitting on the floor of a dressing room and crying as you sent a text that said “I’m done.”

“Another actress I hate to think that I was just your type,”

Now you were on the red carpet, with Calum right beside you. You both were wearing the same clothes you wore on that night, you hair and makeup recreated perfectly. The camera unfocused on you as you turned and looked at Andrew and an actress named Alexa Morrison, who looked a lot like Myra, and they were recreating Chris and Myra’s actions perfectly. The camera swivelled around and came to rest pointing towards your face, as you looked in shock, and a single tear fell down your face.

“I'll bet that she knows Billy Joel 'Cause you played her Uptown Girl You're singing it together,”

You were shown watching a movie trailer with Ashe sitting next to you, while you sobbed at what Alexa and Andrew were doing. You looked at the camera and began singing the song, while Ashe and everything else around you was frozen.

“Now I bet you even tell her How you love her In between the chorus and the verse (ooh) (I love you),”

You were sat on the bed in Chris’s red flannel that you had stolen before leaving for tour, and you were writing in the notebook aggressively with tears rolling down your face and singing.

“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was the show we talked about Played you the song she's singing now when she's with you,”

You were now being shown sitting on the couch, and watching Andrew run across the TV screen dressed as Captain America, an ice cream tub in your hand. You were wearing sweats and a t shirt, your hair in a messy bun.

“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? Oh Do you get déjà vu?”

The camera circled around you before transitioning to the next scene.

“Strawberry ice cream in Malibu Don't act like we didn't do that shit too You're trading jackets like we used to do (Yeah, everything is all reused),”

You were shown laying down in bed, and your eyes closing before an image of you and Andrew danced, dressed as Steve and Peggy in endgame, a scene Chris always told you the two of you would recreate one day. You had called Hayley and asked if it was okay, and she immediately said yes, and even came and watched you do the scene.

“Play her piano, but she doesn't know (oh, oh) That I was the one who taught you Billy Joel (oh) A different girl now, but there's nothing new (I know you get déjà vu),”

When your eyes opened, you were sitting at your piano, and playing while singing along.

“I know you get déjà vu I know you get déjà vu,”

Suddenly, the piano disappeared, and you were left standing in an empty living room as the screen faded to black.

The entire room burst into cheers as the video ended, except for Myra, who looked like she was going to murder you, and Chris who just clapped with a tight lipped smile.

Later that night after all the kids had gone to bed and Lisa was driving Bob home, Scott had pulled you into the kitchen under the pretences of ‘helping him fix a drink’, which ended up just being the two of you gossiping about Chris and Myra, and the music video.

Suddenly, Chris walked in, and nodded for Scott to leave. You cleared your throat and ignored him.

“That was a good song, and an amazing music video.” He said. “I can see you're just getting more and more talented as time-” He began, as you rolled your eyes, and looked at him.

“What do you want?” You asked bluntly.

“I just wanted to congratulate you.” He said, and you were about to open your mouth, when Myra came slinking in the room with an evil look on her face.

“Nice job, Y/N. I’m glad I could inspire your music video.” She said sarcastically, and you could tell Chris was about to defend you, but you opened your mouth first.

“Well, I’m glad I had such a snake like bitch to draw inspiration from,” You said, and heard Scott, his siblings burst into laughter in the living room. Myra’s jaw dropped and she turned to look at him. You looked up at Chris, who was leaning up against the counter, and biting back a smile.

“You’re just going to let her talk to me like that?” She asked, and Chris sighed.

“Myra, don't start. Not now.” He said, she scoffed.

“I knew you still loved her. Only a pathetic loser could love someone as ugly and untalented as her.” She spat, and Chris growled. You felt tears welling up in your eyes, and you ran out of the room, your drink abandoned on the counter.

You ran into your bedroom, where you shut the door, and fell onto the bed in tears.

Back in the kitchen, Chris had gotten in Myra’s face, and was yelling.

“DON’T YOU DARE TALK TO HER LIKE THAT! SHE’S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH SHIT IN HER LIFE, AND I WON’T ALLOW YOU TO ADD TO THAT!” He screamed, as Scott, Carly, and Shanna ran to the door, unsure of what to do. “SHE IS SO TALENTED, WAY MORE TALENTED THAN YOU! YOU’RE THE REASON PRODUCTION TOOK SO DAMN LONG, IT TOOK FOREVER TO GET A PERFORMANCE OUT OF YOU! YOU OPENLY INSULTED HER AND HER FANS HOURS AFTER YOU WERE ANNOUNCED TO BE IN THIS MOVIE, AND THEN HAD THE AUDACITY TO COME TO ME CRYING BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE FEELINGS GOT HURT!” He screamed, and Shanna ran and backed Chris away from her.

“YOU’RE MY BOYFRIEND! AND ITS MY BIRTHDAY, YET HERE YOU ARE, CONGRATULATING HER FOR A SHITTY MUSIC VIDEO!” Myra screamed, and it was Scott’s turn to get in her face.

“You need to leave. If you don't we’re going to call the cops.” He stated, and Myra rolled her eyes before storming out of the house.

Scott turned back to Chris, and was shocked when he saw him in tears.

“You need to work shit out with Y/N. It’s clear the two of you are still in love, and you need to figure it out as adults,” Scott said, his sisters nodding. Chris took a deep breath, and looked at your closed bedroom door.

Chris walked up to your bedroom door, and took a deep breath before entering the room where he used to sleep in every night.

He opened the door, and saw you curled up in a ball on the bed, your body still shaking. He smiled sadly, and walked into the room, closing the door behind him. He sat on the bed behind you, and rubbed your back gently.

“I’m sorry. Not just for what Myra said, but for everything. For breaking your heart, and for causing you so much pain. I didn't realize how much I was missing you too until we watched that music video and I saw how truly broken you were. I never noticed that before now. And I’m sorry I didn't. If I’d have, I could have fixed this sooner, and we could be together right now.” He said.

You furrowed your brows at his last sentence and sat up.

“W-What?” You asked, and Chris moved closer. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a hug.

“I still love you. So so much.” He smiled, and a tear rolled down his face. “You're my entire world, and not having you here is slowly breaking me apart. I didn't know just how much until today, but I can't live another day without you.” He said. “I’m so sorry I hurt you baby.” He sobbed, and his head buried itself into your hair. Your body shook with sobs too, and you turned around to face him.

“I love you too.” You sobbed out. “I never should have ended things, but-” You said, but were cut off by Chris’s lips on yours, and you felt yourself melting into it.

He pulled away a few seconds later. “Don't. It was my fault, not yours. I am so sorry, and I am going to spend the rest of my life making up for it, I promise.” He said, as he stood the two of you up and led you out of the room, and to his.

“Where are we going?” You asked, and Chris pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“I have to grab something.” He said. He opened his closet, and grabbed something out of the top corner before turning to you.

“I said I planned on spending the rest of my life making it up to you, and I plan on keeping that promise.” He said, as he got down on one knee. You gasped, as he opened the box and your dream engagement ring was inside. “I want you for the rest of my life, and the next. Will you marry me?” he asked, tears pouring down his face, just like yours.

You nodded enthusiastically, and Chris stood up. He placed the ring on your ring finger and scooped you up. “I love you,” You choked out, and Chris sobbed harder into you.

“I love you too, and I’m never letting you go.”

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buck-nialled · 4 years

Text

Anybody - N. Horan Imagine

NOTE: I sincerely appreciate everybody’s patience with me getting to requests. Sometimes its just nice to take a lil break and write a niall amnesia fic, ya know? anyways, here’s another requested imagine (i combined two because they were vv similar), enjoy!

“You’re telling us you’re still single?” The girl scoffs. “Yeah, right.”

It made your cheeks flame up incredibly and your stomach turn in guilt. Normally, this conversation would not have you so antsy or defensive if it had not been for Niall’s presence beside you. The idea to share lunch with the cast one day and have Niall tag along was entirely your idea, so there was nobody else to throw blame on. You were happy Niall agreed almost immediately to your proposal, despite knowing the repercussions if either of you somehow clued that you were together in front of your friends and especially in public.

Your lifestyles were definitely a commonality in your relationship. The constant interviews and public appearances were what led to the two of you introducing one another. You both had a disposition for complimenting people greatly, but had a difficult time taking them to heart. Your first meeting could be illustrated with the two of you gawking over each other’s work and red cheeks, with the subtle flirtatious remark thrown in. But it was the impetus for the exchanging of numbers, and a couple of dinners and intimate nights shared in the bedroom.

More importantly, it led you here at a restaurant surrounded by your costars for one of Niall’s favorite television shows and the man himself. He claimed it to be one of his favorites before he even met you, which you still doubt to be the truth, but you never pushed him for validity. The question from your costar, who could also be considered one of your closest friends, left both you and Niall stunned for a moment.

“Oh, come on. Why is that so hard to believe?”

“You’ve got guys crawling over you all the time.” Another chimes in. You could not argue his point; it happened every time you stumbled across a male fan of the show, over twitter direct messages or blatantly in response to something you posted online. Even during interviews some male hosts would flatter you in the objective to get in your pants, in spite of how clear you made your interests to be platonic.

“So, I can’t be independent and say ‘no’?” You raised your eyebrows, feeling inferior to your colleagues. Unlike them, having a public relationship was off of the table.

“You can. But admit it, you could literallu have anybody, Y/N.” Your friend looks around the table, earning many nods of agreement. You wish every day to wake up and just have the world know your secret. But it did not work like that.

Your publicist immediately refuted the idea of publicly dating when you mentioned your affair with the musician. She went ballistic, claiming you were insane to just post a picture of the two of you to your socials with the mindset of “whatever happens, happens”. It would lead to speculation, which will lead to a closer eye on the two of you and your every move, she argues. Her demands made you want to keep your mouth shut about your fear of being mobbed by cameras off of the red carpet before this conversation. She went on to say the longer you were “available” in the eye of the public, the more popular you would grow. Teenage boys would fawn over you, their girlfriends would google you to see what the hype about you was and hate-stalk you, which would result in a larger following.

Having that disappear all because you were off of the market would make your numbers plummet and lose grip of your male demographic. You were nearly tuning her voice out by this point, until she pointed out that Niall was probably in the same boat. Girl’s loved him; guys were fuming over him. Bigger album sales, followers for days, until the announcement that one of the world’s biggest heartthrobs is officially taken.

You informed Niall about the conversation later that day. And as much as he wanted to say it was bullshit, he could not. It was true. He had attempted many times to present the relationship reveal presentation to his manager and publicist, but both shut him down the moment he began to speak. As of now, both of you were bound by contract to keep your lips shut.

Niall’s aura screamed its independence, so there was no speculation circling him lately about a possible affair. You however, were fresh meat. The new, hottest thing one of few top, trending shows. Everybody wanted to know your whereabouts and who you we’re hanging around with everyday, all day. And it never really seemed to stop.

The night your followers on various media platforms doubled, then tripled, then quadrupled in a matter of hours was when you needed to turn off all receiving notifications. Messages, mentions and questions were flooded to your phone at such a rapid rate that your phone froze. If a photo was even published online of you hugging a man, you would be interrogated about it for the next five interviews following that day.

Recently, the man in question has been your co-star in the series, Ryan. It was clear in the show that your and his character had major chemistry, but outside of the set, Ryan acted like more of a brother figure than anything. He would scare you whenever you turned random corners in the studio, ruffle your hair and bicker with you at any opportunity.

Many gossip news sources were asking both you and your co-star if the relationship between your characters was the same on-screen and off-screen. But it seemed the countless amounts of “no’s” you both delivered immediately after the question was asked was not enough. The other day, a video of him handing you a water bottle with a smile gained thousands of views overnight, as well as theories that you two were hiding a relationship from the public. It could not be further from the truth, but you and Ryan knew it was useless to comment otherwise.

In fact, everybody around you was discouraging the idea to cancel the rumors. All except one person, who always seemed to be cheering you on in your worst moments. And by the eighth week and hundredth photo of you and Ryan allegedly “confirming” your relationship, you had enough.

You stormed into Niall’s apartment with hot feet. You passed by him and paced his kitchen, while he sat up from the couch. Turning down the volume on the golf match playing on the television, he ventures after you and into the kitchen, finding you scavenging his fridge.

“Hang on.” You held up a finger, before retrieving a cold bottle of booze from the fridge. Niall eyes you carefully in your haste to grab the bottle opener already accessible off of his kitchen island and pop the bottle cap off the drink and down half of it. While you guzzle down the drink, Niall gulps, licking his lips.

Chugging a beer, as weird as it sounded, was one of the hottest things Niall had witnessed you do to date.

“Okay,” you slammed the near empty bottle down, taking a deep breath of preparation. “Go ahead.”

“What happened?” He already knew the answer, but it could not hurt to ask. He figured if it bothered you too much to speak about it, you would deny answering. But, considering he was the only person who allowed you to rant to him, you were not going to throw away the opportunity to do so.

“More shit about me and—” That’s the farthest you could let Niall peek at your day before a familiar ringing noise sounds in the kitchen. Niall releases a sigh as you collect your phone from your back pocket, seeing who was calling.

“It’s Ry—”

“Take it. It’s okay.” Niall assures, without you even having to ask. You nod, promising to be quick, though he knew it would be at least twenty minutes before your attentions could turn back to him. That is, if another article was not sent to you about the situation.

“Hey…yeah I saw…” you eye Niall strolling out of the kitchen, his bare back and tense muscles prominent from your view. “Uh huh…” you murmur, before you and Ryan are venting about your day to one another. All of the interrogations at interviews, the photos people had snuck while touring the set, and the trailer for the newest episode that was just dropped. The trailer went viral within two hours because your editors and marketing team decided to include the kissing scene your two character’s shared in that episode along with the montage of other points. By the time you had ended the call, you found Niall showered and lying on his bed. The television in the living room was black, a sign that the golf match ended much earlier.

“Hey…sorry about that.” You mumble, crawling into his bed beside him.

“It’s okay…I assume you don’t want to talk about your day?” He inquires, looking down as you wind an arm over his stomach.

“W-what makes you…”

“I mean, I don’t want you to waste your breath or anything. Judging by the earful you gave Ryan it must’ve been juicy.” Niall remarks through his teeth.

“I was just—”

“Because why waste your time talking to me about it, right?”

“Niall! Stop!” You yell, allowing a heavy silence to fall in between you two. You take your arm away from his middle and sit up, brows scrunching. “Why are you acting like this?” You ask, tone quieter.

“I…don’t know. I’m sorry, I’m just…I’ve been in my head a lot lately. Thinkin’ about lots of things.” He huffs, turning his gaze down to his legs.

“Like?”

“Like…us.” He answers, face solid.

“What about us?” You hesitate with a trembling voice.

“Well, more like how there isn’t an us.” Niall mumbles, voice gravelly. “To everyone else, anyway.” He breathes, trying a smile but with no avail. The sight delivers a brutal sting to your heart.

“Niall…”

“I know we can’t tell anybody; I know.” He rushes out before you could remind him. “But shit, can we at least act like they do when you’re here?” Your lips part, but fail to generate the right words. “Because right now it kind of seems like I don’t exist when Ryan calls and—and when I ask about your day first but he interrupts, it seems like I can’t get a sound out of you after about it. And damnit, Y/N, I want to hear about it! All of it! And having to listen through the walls just to know you’re okay…”

“Yeah?” You whisper.

“I see what everybody else does. And I don’t like it. Not one bit.” You nod, biting your lip to hold back tears much like Niall was doing judging by his crackling voice. The only reason you really spilled your guts to Ryan was that he was in the same exact position you were in, so he would understand you the most. But that was not entirely true. Because right in front of you sat Niall, who was hiding just as much as you were for the same exact reasons.

“I’m…I didn’t know you felt that way.”

“Yeah,” Niall sniffs, “who could blame ya? Ya never have time to ask.”

“And that’s not right.” You shake your head, bringing your body up to straddle his lap. After swinging a bent leg over both of his, and situating yourself over his thighs, you stare into his eyes with a shameful gaze. “It should never be like that. I should tell you about my day, and ask you about yours and…I’m sorry, Niall. I’m so sorry I haven’t.”

“It’s okay—” He tilts his head down, but your hand grabs a hold of his chin scraggly with hair and lifts it back up.

“No, it’s not.” You decree. “To be honest, the reason I never really talk about it is because…I thought it wouldn’t matter to you?” At your admission, Niall’s eyes bulge. The feeling of his warm hands flying to your hips calms both of you to an extent.

“Why would ya think that, love?”

“Wouldn’t you be annoyed hearing me rant about some guy people think I’m dating?” Niall nods his head, understanding your point.

“I suppose…but I’d be angry with you. I’d be on your side.” Niall guarantees with a firm squeeze to your sides. It makes a giggle bubble up from your throat, and a smile crawl up to his lips at the sound of it resounding against his bedroom walls. After bringing his hands in yours and lacing your fingers together, you say, “I’m sure you would. You’d hold me…pleasure me…sing me to sleep.” You smirk, watching Niall grow flush beneath you at his noticeable methods of affection.

“Ryan can’t do any of that.” You bite your lip.

“Damn right he can’t! You’re mine.” Niall looks you up and down, pulling your chest closer to his.

“And I’ll start taking that into consideration more. Now, how about I pleasure you this time to start?” You raise your eyebrows.

“I like the sound of that.” His hand starts to reach up to comb through your hair, but the boisterous rings of your phone interfere once again. Niall heaves a breath and sits back, all while you roll your eyes and reach out for the phone.

“Hey, Ryan.” Niall looks up at you, expecting in less than a second to be off of his lap. But he is rather surprised at the feeling of your hand reaching up to tug the loose sweats down off his waist. “You mind if we talk tomorrow? My boyfriend and I are kind of in the middle of something.” You answer with a smirk, watching Niall’s eyes grow right before you. Ryan’s screams of puzzlement could be heard by Niall as you dragged the phone away from your ear and ended the call. And soon, your grip made its way back to Niall’s boxers with a devious smirk on your lips.

“Now, where were we?”

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jjsjuiceboxx · 4 years

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NOT SO SUBTLE

REQUESTED FOR: @www-imbored-com

SUMMARY- You and Drew have grown close filming season 1 of obx, you think you’re starting to love him and you think he likes you back because he is very touchy and he always makes sure he is sitting close to you.

⚠️WARNINGS⚠️: cussing.

A/N: this is just a bunch of fluff, happy reading :).

☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎

While filming season 1 of obx drew was one of the first people you got close with dont get me wrong you were friends with everyone and close with everyone but you and Drew’s friendship was a bit more then the others, you noticed how in the first month of filming season one Drew got a little flirty complimenting you every chance you got “wow that dress looks beautiful on you” which always led to you blushing. By the third month of filming he would open doors for you and always offering his water to you.

6 months into coming you guys held hands hugged and cuddled. In public the people who didn’t know you guys thought y’all were dating but you were not you never went on dates and he never asked you to be his girlfriend. Of course you hung out outside of filming but it was mostly with the group every now and then you two would go out alone.

Currently you were on set filming season 2 you had already done your scenes for the day but decided to stay back just in case they needed you to help or, or help madelyn take pictures and funny videos for tomfoolery, “hey did I show you the photo of Drew I took this morning in the trailers?” Madelyn asked after taking a photo of the sunset with the silhouettes of the pogues in the background looking like shadows “no, but now you said it I need to see it” you said she handed her camera over flicking to the photo and there it was Drew practically passed out in his breakfast burrito “oh my god that is gold he isn’t living that down ever”

Who isn’t living what down?” The man who uses a burrito as a pillow muses at you “oh nothing dearest drewseph” Maddie said laughing and putting her camera away “how was your day?” You asked calming down from laughing so hard you barely saw him today “it was good I missed my lady around, oh did you drink enough water? And eat? I know how you get when you don’t eat food” Drew reprimanded but sweetly you rolled your eyes “yes Drew I ate food dont worry they beast is in hibernation from a food coma” you said Maddie and Drew laughed “ok good we don’t need you to break another window” Maddie said remembering how you were starving you all were but you had it the worst and were so mad at Rudy and chase for messing around you punched a window and broke it then immediately apologized for breaking a window and said you were just really hungry Austin walked to you and literally shoved a hamburger in your mouth and you were so quiet for 20 mins while you at his hamburger feeling so much better ever since then everyone makes sure you ate so you don’t end up splitting them in half.

“Yeah yeah I’ve gotten a lot better” “yeah because we all remind you to eat or shove food in your face” jonas walked over to the three of you “hey guys so we just need the pogues for the rest of the day so it’s a wrap on you guys if you wanted to go and stuff” Jonas said and walked off quickly to direct what’s happening next “I was thinking of going out to this lake where you can rent paddle boards and canoes and stuff, do y’all wanna come?” Drew asked “yeah that sounds like fun I’ve never been paddle boarding before” “I would but I promised I would help out around with everything you guys have fun tho” Maddie said you guys said goodbye and hopped into a car.

Once you arrived you immediately took a picture of the view because it was so beautiful “Drew this is beautiful, how did you find this?” You asked amazed “aww yanno just some tourist site thing” you walked up to the people at the booth for the paddle boards once you got the paddle boards you and Drew started to paddle in the lake “so am I your lady or is there a secret women I need to know about?” You asked Drew laughing “oh it’s definitely you but i dont know one of the set members dog looked really good today” you both bursted out laughing “you’re such an idiot” “oh yeah well can an idiot do this?” Drew questioned before throwing himself off the paddle board and doing a flip landing perfectly into the water.

“No I guess an idiot can’t do that, you’ve proved me wrong starkey im quite impressed” you said clapping for him “good because I’ve actually never done that before and just hoped it would look cool not gunna lie I was trying to impress you” Drew said getting slightly red “well you’ve succeeded tremendously” you said you guys continued talking and paddle boarding deciding to race you lossed tho because you fell into the water.

“Drew look at the view it’s soo pretty oh my god” you said taking out your phone and snapping a bunch of photos you stopped when you heard a camera shatter and looked at your phone confused since you put your silencer on so it wouldn’t disrupt your time with Drew you looked over and Drew is looking at his phone smiling then he showed you the photo it was of you in the paddle boat taking a photo of the view “should I post this and be basic and caption it “she thought the view was pretty but I thought she was prettier” ?” Drew asked making your laugh “oh of course I’m trying to turn you into a white girl that should be the first step” you said you sighed “thank you for saying I’m pretty” you blushed and looked down at your reflection in the lake you guys paddle board was side by side so it was easy for him to take his hand to your chin and make you look at him “youre so welcome, honestly you’ve made this whole experience so great and I just want to tell you that I love you a lot and uh do you want to officially be my lady?” You laughed but said yes and you guys kissed it got a little heated because of all the sexual tension that had been built up you had tongues in each other’s mouths your hands in his hair and his on your bare hips on of the paddle boards almost flipped “maybe we should head back to set, also we took the only car for them to get home in” you suggested drew nodded not being able to form words and off to set you went.

When you arrived you saw everyone waiting all in their normal clothes “dudes did you really kidnap my car?” Austin asked “I wouldn’t say “kidnap” I just borrowed it” drew said air quoting kidnap “whatever you’re not riding shot gun for that and neither are you Y/N” Austin said getting in the drivers side you shrugged “SHOTGUN” chase belted out him and JD made eye contact and JD touched the handle first and sat down “gotta be quicker then that” JD said to chase you rolled your eyes and got in the back Drew got in right after you and you both intertwined your hands together the rest piled into the car and off you went to the apartment buildings.

Once you got on the highway JD plugged his phone in the aux and played music Rudy, chase, and both maddies were singing so loudly you got a lot of confidence from no where and unbuckled your seat belt and straddled Drew’s lap “what are you doing?” He questioned wide eyed “you’ll see just go with it” you mumbled and then started to lean in he surprised you when he met you half way and you continued what you had stopped at the lake his hands were squeezing your ass making you want to moan but you didn’t and you tugged on his hair “uh guys ? Can you like I don’t know maybe not do that?” Rudy questioned looking at you guys he was seated right next to drew one of Drew’s hands moved from your ass and waving off rudy. His hand immediately went back to where it was you felt everyone’s eyes on y’all now Rudy groaned annoyed “Ok you can borrow my car from now on” Austin said chase turned the song louder hoping you would stop Madelyn and Madison laughed you heard Madison say “that explains his insta photo she said showing everyone that he did in fact post it madelyn decided to take a picture and video recording “hey guys you gonna come up for air? She asked you just flicked her off you could hear the video replaying “dude this is gunna be so good for tomfoolery”

You guys pulled up to the apartment but you wouldn’t know cause you were still making out with Drew his hands in your shirt this time and you leaving slight hickies on his neck then going back to his lips and pulling his hair making him lean to the side so you can get better accesses chase turned around when no one got out of the car “yo love birds we are here” chase called but you still didn’t move Madison giggled “wow” Madelyn pulled her phone out again and recorded knowing the look on Rudy’s face meant he was about to do something funny “ok that’s it” Rudy stated frustration obviously on his face and tone because he was squished two on one of his side and then both the maddies to his left side keeping him from getting out of the car “I’m fucking hungry and squishedl” he complained turning towards you and drew who were still kissing you felt a hand on your forehead and then suddenly you were being pulled apart from Drew you opened your eyes to see the same was being done with Drew you moved your eyes from Drew’s to Rudy who was literally pulling you apart by your face “we are here it’s time you stop so I can get out” Rudy said his tongue out so he can focus on pulling you apart once he was satisfied he looked at you since you were closest to the door “now get out so I can get out and get food before I lose my shit” you got out and thought drew would follow but he wasn’t fast enough for Rudy’s liking “oh fuck it” Rudy said before climbing over Drew’s lap and then running to his and chases apartment door.

“Yeah don’t mess with Rudy when he is hungry he gets mean” chase said “much like Y/N just not physical leash not yet” chase mumbled “I’m going to my house to watch tv and for Cheetos” JD said “wait I’m coming, everyone out of my car” Austin said catching up with JD drew got out of the car and came straight to you “I guess this is goodbye” he said sadly “yeah I think it is” you said back just as sad “oh my god you live in the same apartment building 3 doors down calm down” chase said going up the stairs Madison followed to get her shoes she left the night before madelyn still there laughing at the video she got of Rudy pulling you and drew apart.

You hugged drew and went in for another kiss, Madelyn had left by now leaving the two of you out there you both pulled apart and said your goodbyes “goodnight drew I’ll see you tomorrow” “goodnight my lady” drew said you went to move out of his embrace but couldn’t he was latched on you tapped his shoulder but only got a hmm “babe, you gotta let go” you said laughing “I did” “yeah for 2 seconds” you literally had to pull him away from you and turned him around and slightly shoved him in the direction of his house he went to come back to you which led you to turn around and run away from him “Drew I love you but if you hug me one more time I won’t let go” you shouted as you got further away from him you heard him laugh and went into your apartment with both maddie’s you heard your phone ding and saw drew texted you saying that he missed you.

#drew starkey #drew obx #obx fanfiction #obx #outer banks imagines #drews

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dgcatanisiri · 4 years

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This is too long for me to be comfortable to put out without a cut, but dear god, did I need to rant and ramble on this subject...

I always feel awkward when I want to complain about how video games portray and fandom reacts to queer men, because I feel like the conversation (at least here on Tumblr) gets focused on the female protagonists - you know, the Commander Shepard or Alexios/Kassandra debates and that sort. The things where there’s valid comments to make about how important these female protagonists are, especially in an industry that is deeply misogynistic, and, in the case of the Assassin’s Creed protagonists, keep being developed with an eye towards the female-only protagonists, only to have a male protagonist shoved alongside them, if not upstaging entirely (such as Jacob being the center of Syndicate’s marketing, or how Bayek was originally going to die and Aya be the central protagonist of Origins, or the creation of Alexios and probably male Eivor on the basis of “women protagonists don’t sell.”)...

BUT, when I want to talk about my perspective as a gay man, as wanting to play these games for that empowerment, get to enjoy these games for representing me as a gay man, because Shepard, Ryder, Alexios, etc. get to be played as such, that having these male characters who are able to be played as attracted to other men means something to me, and that leads me to not just play the male characters, but prefer them to the female characters, or even to talk about the subject of homophobia in both the games themselves and the fandoms surrounding them... I do feel like there’s this pressure to just effectively shut up and stay quiet and let the women have their empowerment, that the moment needs to be theirs, not mine, that “fandom” (meaning the monolithic entity that is ‘the fandom’ and not necessarily any singular individual who I’m referring to or anything) is pressuring for anyone who enjoys the male protagonists for whatever reason to be silent and let the women enjoy their win, even if there’s a win for underrepresented men in there as well, or even a need to address the problems of homophobia by not representing queer men. That in its way, it’s effectively saying that a win against the sexism against the industry is outweighing or more important than any win against the homophobia. (Or, since I brought up Shepard, racism, considering that Shepard, Ryder, any game with the character creator, can be different skin tones as well, but that’s outside my lane.)

Like, this isn’t a callout post or any kind of directed screed against anyone, just... I suppose it’s a cumulative effect, based on the fact that I remember what the internet in the corners I frequent was like when Odyssey dropped, focused very much (and understandably - let me be clear that I have no desire to step on anyone’s victory or enjoyment of these games here) on Kassandra, and it felt like the fact that I got to play a character I could portray as gay (don’t start me on the bloody DLC though...) was a victory celebration at a table set for one, while (to really stretch my metaphor) seeing this massive party happening across the dining room at the same time, and that (and again, I’m really straining my metaphor, I’m aware), if I wanted to join that party, they would not combine our celebrations, I would have to join in theirs, and, in my wanting to pay attention to my victory, getting laughed at for it. It’s one of those things that makes fandom feel a little alienating, because I don’t particularly have much of a place that feels like it’s a space for me to celebrate my victories, rare as they are, and on occasion, even end up with the impression that, so far as fandom at large cares, that victory I want to celebrate is somehow less important. That the importance of Alexios, playable as a gay man, meant less than Kassandra, period. And, with Valhalla and Cyberpunk’s release on the horizon, along with (maaaaaaybe?) a Mass Effect Trilogy remaster, I find myself bracing myself for this to start up all over again.

And I know some of this is based in the fact that Tumblr and the transformative elements of fandom in general are more of a space that is dominated by women in fandom, who are going to celebrate the wins for them. That’s just how things shake out, I understand that it’s as much the place I’m going for involvement and interaction with fandom at large as it is anything else. Just... I obviously don’t fit in to the areas of “straight male” fandom, and then getting to the places in the “marginalized” segments of the fandom, it still feels like I need to find my way over to the margins of the margins to feel like I have a place in fandom more generally.

Like, I understand that I have male privilege and that is a factor in things - the male characters are probably more likely to be the ones in the marketing, so I get to see that idealized image of myself individually all over the covers and posters and trailers. BUT that doesn’t remove the straight privilege of the people who are shutting down conversations about the importance of the male PCs being portrayed in M/M relationships, even starts going into the realm of casual homophobia - because no acknowledgement of how important it is for the portrayal of gay men, or bi men, IS homophobic. I mean, how often do these companies have their official accounts post images of the M/M pairings? I’ve seen BioWare account retweet FemShep/Garrus and FemShep/Kaidan things, on top of the MaleShep/Female LI pairings. I’ve even seen FemShep/Liara content, which... We could go into the way that F/F pairings get fetishized and tend to be there as either fodder for cishet male titillation or just because the female PC gets swapped in for the male PC (in the way of Peebee riding a non-existent dick in the FemRyder romance scene in Mass Effect Andromeda), I don’t mean to discount that being a thing, so queer women are getting a short stick too. But where’s the M/M relationships? Hell, remember the whole #MakeJaalBi thing? After we got that notice about the patch for his romance would come... Has any official Mass Effect account actually SHOWN content of BroRyder and Jaal?

I mean, remember the Citadel DLC? The appearances of Kaidan’s romance material included FemShep, and Cortez’s content included a split second shot of just him and Shepard holding hands, and since it was blink and you’ll miss it, that means that it doesn’t even make any effort to portray the M/M relationships. And since I brought up Jaal already, BioWare had to be publicly shamed into offering M/M relationships in equal amounts to the other pairings in Mass Effect Andromeda. Like, it’s bad that Peebee’s romance for FemRyder just had the model swapped in for BroRyder, sure. But at least that content was THERE, at release. For gay/bi men who wanted to romance male characters, we have to make sure that we get that patch downloaded (meaning if you play the game without an internet connection, you can’t get access to his romance) - and only because the outrage actually GOT a response, which is not necessarily the norm in this industry.

Hell, the disparity there actually GOT noticed - if you include Scout Harding as a romance, M/M romances are the lowest numerical romances in Dragon Age Inquisition as well, with only Dorian and Bull as options. And I didn’t even realize this until this past year, despite being disappointed in those two options. Even recognizing that Harding is more of a fling than a full romance, it’s still more than M/M romances had. The closest we got was being able to flirt with Cullen twice before he shuts it down (and the rants I’ve had on THAT subject...).

And that’s just the focus with BioWare - I saw it all through the initial release of Odyssey, while I know that the official metrics are all saying that Alexios saw more play than Kassandra, Kassandra got a lot of positive response in the fandom that was often framed in opposition to Alexios, that she was the “better” protagonist.

Like, I’m bolding this for emphasis, and so if anyone is TL;DRing this it’s eye-catching enough: My issue is the dismissal and denigration of the male PCs when building up the female PCs. It is not being against celebrating the female PCs. It’s just the way that people will, in their positivity towards a female PC, dismiss the audience who relates to and connects with the male PC. The way that I’ve seen since day one the common “joke” that male Shepard is unnecessary, condemning the voice acting, even asking why he’s there when female Shepard is “the real Shepard”.

It makes fandom a hostile place to be when you’re looking to that character as your representation, your inspiration. Yeah, it’s a joke, but when it is coming from all corners, or at least feels like it, all the time, the humor dies, and you’re left with just the words. The words telling you that this mirror for yourself is something that people don’t care about.

Again, it’s that feeling of already being on the margins and then being pushed further. You are the freak among the freaks.

But it feels like saying any of this, like I have, is opening the door to be dismissed as being sexist, or misogynistic, or lesbophobic, or anything like that, because people want to boil down what I’m saying to no more than “but what about MEN? Why aren’t you talking about MEN?” in that dismissive way that so many MRA trolls attempt to derail the conversation - except, no, I am TRYING to have a genuine conversation, about men who aren’t represented, men who need these male characters as much as women need the female ones - queer men get the short stick in a lot of cases, like this goes back to the representational matters in a lot of kids TV shows - while we can absolutely talk about the bad representation it was broadly, I remember when Voltron concluded, having Shiro, having arguably the lead male character of the show, end the show marrying and kissing another man... That was heavily ignored by Tumblr. Meanwhile Tumblr EXPLODED for Korra and Asami or Bubblegum and Marceline.

It’s seeing what is representation for me as a queer man being played down or ignored while the queer women are praised. And, again, I’m not trying to take anything away from queer women, or women in general, but... Where, exactly, am I supposed to look for that same empowerment? And, more importantly, when the same media offers the empowerment for both groups, like video games do, why does it seem almost expected that I as a queer man back off and allow this to just be for the women in general, when the whole point of a variable protagonist is that it allows that empowerment for EVERYONE?

I mean, I say it feels like “opening the door” to these comments because it has happened before, and likely will again. Because saying “this joke feels hostile to me, as a member of an underrepresented group, can we please not?” or speaking about my individual experiences and feelings - often even just in my own space, on my blog, frequently only tagged with my individual tags for organization in my space, rather than publicly shouting it through a megaphone by putting it in public tags, and somehow STILL getting attacked for these comments - is apparently all those things... That’s been the response I’ve gotten to saying things like this in the past.

And, in case I haven’t been clear with the repeated comments and the bolded statement above, it’s not about me, a man, trying to take away this thing for women. Rather, it’s me, a queer person - and fine, yes, a queer man - who wants to celebrate being seen, wants to celebrate what is still not a common thing of seeing myself in my media, and then feeling like I’m being shoved out of the way because other people celebrating their representation is considered more important, to hell with me and my mirrors.

Like, I’m not saying any of this is anything actively conscious or even intentionally malicious. It does seem like a reflexive defensive position - “men have tried to take this from us, so we’re not letting ANY man through.” I don’t want to come across as flippant or not aware of the fact that this isn’t a walk in the park for women. I get it, I really do. I’m just... It does feel like my struggles are something that I’m being told to downplay in the name of allowing others to have their celebration.

Thing is, my own experiences as a queer person already leave me feeling like I’m getting that as well - I mentioned before (and have elsewhere) that Dragon Age Inquisition’s M/M romances didn’t work for me. But I have often felt like I need to downplay the fact that I don’t emotionally connect to Dorian as a character - in the immediate aftermath of the game’s release, you could not say ANYTHING negative about him without getting shouted down as either a homophobe or dealing with internalized homophobia. Meanwhile, I’m here, pointing out that, hey, the previous games did not really have any direct homophobia, and the little bits that did lean in that direction felt more like the writers living in a homophobic society and not able to wholly divorce that in their writing than anything in-universe. To me, Thedas was a place where being gay was a difference that made no difference. And then Inquisition tore away that escape from homophobia so bluntly.

So, Dorian doesn’t empower me, you ask, so what about Bull? Yeah, I identify with “queer man” because while I’m a man romantically attracted to other men, I’m also asexual - just regular vanilla sex is in the fringes of my comfort zone. Bondage is an outright catapult out of there. At mach three. So I’m left uncomfortable by both of my “options” in Inquisition. And the response I have always braced myself for when I bring this up, when I do add my voice to the conversation about the M/M options, is “well, they can’t please everyone, and this was good for some people, so you should be content with that.” Being told I can’t have everything, so feeling uncomfortable at best is just something I have to live with, because hey, THOSE OTHER PEOPLE got satisfied, and so you should just be happy for them.

It’s that pained metaphor I offered earlier - the victory celebration isn’t for me, I’m on the outside looking in EVEN STILL. I am the freak among freaks.

Where is my place to belong, in all of this? Because it’s honestly hard to find, when all the spaces deemed “for me” still feel like an exclusionary party?

#dg rants #another angry queer rant

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laylacooke · 4 years

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Goodbye My Lover || Ariana & Layla

TIMING: The week before the attack on Luke & the full moon. PARTIES: @letsbenditlikebennett & @laylacooke SUMMARY: Ariana comforts Layla as she says goodbye to Frankie. WARNINGS: Just a broken heart & some tears. :(

It was going to be one of the hardest videos she had ever recorded. A message to her girlfriend saying goodbye. At least for the time being, she had hoped. Frankie was her everything. Her world. And Layla had been struggling with the idea of just up and leaving her the night her parents sent her on the run. But it wasn’t something she felt like she could do alone, and she had asked the closest person to her to help her.

Sitting on the bed in the small bedroom in Ulf’s trailer, Layla waited for Ariana to get home. Tears were already streaming down her fair skin as she was thinking about what she wanted to say to Frankie knowing it could very well be the last time she ever told her she loved her.

When Layla had asked Ariana to help with recording a video message for her girlfriend, she hadn’t been quite sure what to expect. Was she going to be playing camera girl? Was she supposed to be here for emotional support or was it some combination of both? Whatever it was mattered little. If Layla asked her for help, she was going to do whatever she could. When she entered their room, she saw Layla was crying. She gently squeezed her shoulder and took a seat on the bed beside her, “Hey,” she said quietly, “We can do this whenever you’re ready, just tell me what you need from me.”

Seeing Ariana walk in gave Layla some relief. She quickly wiped her tears. Not that she had been trying to hide her feelings, but she didn’t want to start their little video project out on a sad note, even though it was sad. The squeeze on her shoulder gave her some comfort, “Let’s just get it over with, yeah? I guess if you wouldn’t mind just helping me with the camera stuff, I can do the rest. And if you hear sobbing, don’t be too surprised.” She knew she wanted to be alone when she recorded this thing, but afterwards, Layla knew that she was going to need her friend’s support.

Ariana gave Layla a small hug with one arm around her shoulders. There wasn’t much she could do to make it possible for her to see Frankie again, so she could at least be here for right now. “It’s okay to cry, I’m not like judging you or anything,” she said, giving a final squeeze before letting go. She looked over to the camera equipment. Setting it up seemed easy enough even though she was no videographer. Ariana could totally understand wanting privacy for this whole thing. “Setting up the camera? I can help with that. I’ll put my headphones on. This seems pretty private and I wouldn’t want to intrude.” She began setting up the tripod to hold the camera up while Layla said her peace. This had to be hard for her, but maybe some closure and being able to say goodbye would help. At least she could only hope as much.

Layla watched as Ariana set up the camera and readied it. While she waited, she went over in her head what she was going to say. It would be straight from the heart. Everything she wanted to tell Frankie the night she knew she was going to have to flee. She had gone over that moment a countless number of times in her head. Always changing what she would say, except for the one thing that made her heart hurt, I love you. They had been together since freshman year but had known each other much longer. Losing Frankie was like losing a piece of herself. A piece of her heart that could never be replaced. With her eyes back on Ariana, she looked to her for the sign to start.

Ariana wished there was more she could do besides set up a camera. It didn’t feel fair that she had to leave someone she loved behind so abruptly and in some ways, she wished the world could be different for them. She’d left friends behind every time she and Celeste had to run, but she couldn’t quite imagine how much harder it would be if she had let herself fall for someone. Life hadn’t been like that for Layla though. Sure, her parents sounded fucking terrible, but she grew up with the same people. She had fallen in love. She had this whole life built and it was ripped out from under her. Maybe in a way, Ariana had been lucky that she never got the chance to form solid roots. Leaving behind places always sucked, but she never got to build enough of a life to mourn. Though now she couldn’t imagine leaving this place behind. Thankfully, Ulf and Celeste were making sure she’d never have to. She had gotten the camera all set up on the tripod and it was turned on. She’d just need to press record. “Okay.” she said smoothly, “Just press this button here when you’re ready. I’ll, uh, put some headphones on and let you do what you gotta do. Let me know when you’re done.”

Layla had dreaded this so bad, but she knew it needed to be done. She needed to tell Frankie what had happened. Why she had just disappeared. Taking a deep breath, Layla got up and moved towards the camera. Reluctantly pressing record, she stepped back into frame and took a seat on Ariana’s bed, “Hey Frankie Girl, it’s me. Layla. And despite what you’ve probably heard, I’m still here. I’m alive. And for the most part I’m doing okay, but there’s some things you need to know. Some things I didn’t tell you when we were together. About my parents and me. And most of it you probably won’t believe, but I’m going to tell you anyways, because I love you, and at this point, the only thing I have to lose is you, which has probably already happened.” She forced back the emotions that were trying to push their way up, “So you know how we used to religiously watch Buffy together and think how crazy life would be if vampires and slayers and werewolves and witches were real? Well, they are, and I used to be like Buffy, at least that’s what my parents had wanted, but in a not so nice way. And you know me, couldn’t hurt a fly...But then something happened. You remember that camping trip, the one that almost killed me. It was a trip that I was supposed to prove my loyalty to my family and their beliefs, but it turned into a nightmare with devastating consequences. Let’s just say, I’m more like Oz now. And the first full moon in July is the night I ran. Ran for my life. For your life, because if I had stuck around, my parents probably would have killed me. Or worse, I might have hurt you.” Tears started to form in Layla’s eyes, “Scratch that...I did hurt you. I did the worst thing someone could ever do to the person they love the most...I made you believe that I had given up on us. On our love, but that’s not true at all Frankie, my love, because I haven’t let you escape my mind since that night. And I was there, at your place. I stood outside your bedroom window praying for the courage to run, instead of getting you involved in what my life has become. I wanted so badly to bring you along with me, but I knew that if I ever physically put you in danger and something bad happened, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Please know that none of this was done, because of malice in my heart. It was done to give us a chance; a future, even though it meant we wouldn’t possibly ever be together again.” She wiped the tears as they trickled down her cheeks. “But know that everyday my heart beats, it beats for you, Frankie. And no one else. I will never love another person on this planet as much as I love you, and I hope you can somehow find it in your heart to forgive me, because I would move Heaven and Earth just for the shot to be with you again, if it meant we could be together safely. My love. My life. My everything, please find it in your heart to forgive me. I want nothing more than to be safe in your arms right now tucked away watching some stupid movie about teenage romance while you make fun of my vegan snacks and coffee addiction. I want so badly to be attending college classes with the smartest girl I know and to be talking about being together forever and starting a family. But I don’t think that’s in my cards anymore, and I refuse to take that away from you. I refuse to blow your chance at having kids and someone who can give you all the love you deserve, because I’m just not in a position to do that anymore, and I don’t know if I ever will be.” She wanted sob, but somehow held it together, aside from fiercely wiping away the silent tears still forming in her eyes. “But know that until my heart beats for the final time, it will hold you and our memories and a love I never knew, until I met you. I love you, Frankie. I always have, and I always will. Goodbye, my beautiful, amazing, caring, and delicate flower. Please don’t forget about me.” Layla brought her hand to her lips, gave it a soft kiss, and then sent it to Frankie through the camera. Walking over, she pressed the button again to stop recording, and as soon as she did, the teenage girl fell to her knees sobbing.

When she left the room, Ariana put her headphones on and blasted some Post Malone, so she wasn’t totally eavesdropping. Faint sounds of speaking could still be heard, but she made a conscious effort to not try and pick up on what was being said. This was a private moment for Layla, and she didn’t want to invade. She danced around the living area a little bit to keep herself distracted until she heard the faint sound of sobs. She made her way back to the bedroom and gingerly tapped on the door. “You done, Lay?”

Layla sat on the floor in a crumpled heap of red hair and tears. When she heard Ariana tap on the door, she sniffled and quickly wiped her eyes trying to regain herself, before the girl re-entered, “Uh, yeah. I’m done.” She tried to fight back the tears but stayed on the floor with her head down. It just wasn’t working. She was saying goodbye to the person she loved most in this world, and she wasn’t sure how Frankie would take it or if she had already moved on.

As she walked in the room, it was hard for Ariana not to frown at the sight before her. They’d only known each other a short time, but her instinct to protect Layla had been present from the moment she saw her diving through the dumpster for food, looking so scared. Layla had this whole life she built and had to leave behind, and Ariana could somewhat relate to that. Now that she finally found a place and others like her, she couldn’t imagine having to run again. She slid down on the floor, taking the spot beside Layla, and wrapped an arm loosely around her shoulder. “It’s okay to be sad, I know that had to be hard.”

At first, Layla kept her distance, refusing to get close, but soon she gave in and leaned into Ari. With her head buried in the girl’s shoulder, she began sobbing again. There wasn’t much to say, but she knew she did what she had to. She was just glad Ariana had been there with her after doing it, because saying goodbye to the person she loved most in the world had been nearly impossible.

Ariana knew there was nothing she could say that would make any of this better. As much as she wished this was something she could fix for her friend, she knew better than most that Layla couldn’t simply just go home and be with the person she loved. So, she sat there, quietly, letting Layla cry, occasionally giving her hair a pet to try and comfort her. Maybe she couldn’t fix things, but she could be here. No one deserved to feel like they were completely alone in the world and she knew Layla had been on her own for far too long. “If you wanna talk about it, we can. If not, we can just hang out here til you feel a little better.”

Without thinking about it, Layla laid down putting her head in Ariana’s lap. For the first time, she had opened up completely to the girl. She had opened her heart and found comfort in the presence of the other young wolf. Just having someone near her that cared had meant the world, and she was going to embrace this, “I just want to hang. I think what I said...it was all from the heart, and hopefully, she’ll see that.” She closed her eyes as each breath she inhaled quivered. Listening to Ariana’s heartbeat gave her something to focus on, much like she would do at night when she was trying to fall asleep, and before long the redhead had dozed off in Ari’s lap feeling safe from the world and all the sadness it held.

If sitting quietly together was what Layla needed, Ariana was more than happy to oblige. It wasn’t like she knew the right thing to say to help with all of this anyhow. All she could do was offer support. “Hanging out it is then,” she said quietly, “I’m sure she’ll be able to see that everything you said is genuine.” She stroked Layla’s hair as she rested in her lap doing her best to soothe the emotionally exhausted wolf. There was a small smile on her face as she realized Layla fell asleep. That was the best thing for her right now, so Ariana stayed still on the floor, occasionally petting Layla’s head as she slept.

#para: goodbye my lover #letsbenditlikebennett #wickedswriting

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brokehorrorfan · 4 years

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Blu-ray Review: Big Trouble in Little China

While cinephiles reflect on John Carpenter's output from the '70s and '80s with great reverence - some might argue that it's an unparalleled run of genre classics - many of his films were considered failures upon initial release due to a lack of commercial success. The Thing is the most well-documented example, but Big Trouble in Little China suffered a similar fate. Produced by 20th Century Fox, the film's domestic gross of $11.1 million only covered about half of its budget, and the critical reception was mixed.

Disillusioned by the Hollywood system, the production influenced Carpenter to return to his independent roots, where he would stay for much of the remainder of his career. But, like many of the master of horror's works, Big Trouble found a cult audience through television and home video. Difficult to classify, the genre-bending adventure combines elements of action (martial arts, no less), comedy, fantasy, horror, western, and even a dash of romance.

The film follows swaggering truck driver Jack Burton (Kurt Russell, The Thing), who finds big trouble while passing through California's Chinatown. He becomes mixed up with Lo Pan (James Hong, Blade Runner), an ancient, evil sorcerer with a legion of warrior followers. Burton has a crew of his own, including his newfound love interest, Gracie Law (Kim Cattrall, Sex and the City); his friend with a vendetta against Lo Pan, Wang Chi (Dennis Dun, Prince of Darkness); and Egg Shen (Victor Wong, 3 Ninjas), who shares his expertise in magic.

Big Trouble in Little China plays out like John Carpenter's answer to Indiana Jones. In lesser hands, it would be little more than a campy B-movie, but Carpenter's unique lens elevates the material without losing the quirkiness. Aside from a plot that's more complicated than it needs to be, this is the closest Carpenter ever came to making a children's movie, complete with an extremely '80s end credit theme song performed by The Coupe De Villes (consisting of Carpenter and filmmaking friends Nick Castle and Tommy Lee Wallace).

The screenplay began as a cowboy western that incorporated Chinese fantasy elements, written by first-timers Gary Goldman (Total Recall) and David Z. Weinstein, before script doctor W.D. Richter (Invasion of the Body Snatchers) adapted it from the Old West to a contemporary setting. When it came time to shoot, Carpenter smartly solicited input from the Asian cast and crew members to ensure well-rounded portrayals rather than stereotypes.

The introduction of Chinese mysticism allows for the inclusion of monsters, which were created by Steve Johnson (Ghostbusters, Species). The special effects guru was initially disappointed to have to make cartoony characters, per Carpenter's request - but, after seeing the final product, he conceded that the filmmaker was right. The creatures are not a far cry from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles villains, but there's a charm to them that fits the picture's atypical tone.

Jack Burton is ostensibly the prototypical action hero, as the story is framed around him. Upon closer inspection, however, the character is little more than a bumbling sidekick to Wang Chi, who actually knows what he's doing. Burton serves as the voice of the Western audience, ignorant of the mythology and incredulous to the sorcery. Russell, in his fourth of five collaborations with Carpenter, tackles the charismatic part with aplomb.

Big Trouble in Little China has received a new Collector's Edition Blu-ray courtesy of Shout Factory. It's available in both standard and limited edition Steelbook packaging with artwork by Laz Marquez and Nathanael Marsh, respectively. In their final collaboration, Carpenter and longtime cinematographer Dean Cundey's (Halloween, Jurassic Park) widescreen visuals shine even more in high definition, utilizing an existing transfer that’s sharp.

The first of two discs features three audio commentaries, two of which are new. The first is more of an extended interview with producer Larry Franco, hosted by special features producer Justin Beahm. Rarely mentioning what's on screen, they discuss Franco's entire career - including his lengthy stint on Carpenter film's from Elvis to They Live - in chronological order. The second new track finds Johnson in conversation with Sharknado filmmaker Anthony C. Ferrante. Thanks to Johnson's unfiltered nature, it's a fascinating and entertaining chat in which he divulges that he funded his early makeup supplies by selling marijuana, beer, and shoplifted goods to friends.

An archival commentary with Carpenter and Russell, recorded circa 2001, is full of laughs between the two friends. They poke fun at the fact that the movies they do together don't catch on until later, while Carpenter acknowledges that the Big Trouble set was reused in Janet Jackson's "When I Think of You" music video. An isolated score track, featuring 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio of the synth soundtrack composed by Carpenter in association with regular collaborator Alan Howarth (They Live, Christine), is also available.

The first disc also includes: a vintage audio interview with Carpenter promoting the film; electronic press kit interviews with Carpenter, Russell, Dun, Cattrall, Hong, and visual effects artist Richard Edlund (Star Wars); deleted and extended scenes, including the extended ending; a gag reel; the Coupe De Villes' music video, which somehow makes the song feel even more overtly '80s; three theatrical trailers, one of which is in Spanish; five TV spots; and three photo galleries: movie stills, posters and lobby cards, and behind-the-scenes pictures.

The second disc contains a whopping twelve new interviews with cast and crew members. Dunn discusses his transition from marketing student to actor on a whim. Hong, equipped with a paper fan that he puts to good use when discussing Big Trouble, calls Lo Pan one of his best roles. Actor Donald Li, noting the stereotypical nature of most Asian roles in Hollywood, says he identified with his happy-go-lucky character of Eddie Lee. Actor Carter Wong discusses how his martial arts training led to a film career and his explosive death scene as Thunder. Actor Peter Kwong, who plays Rain, details the racial prejudices he faced early in his career, driving his aspirations to spread a message of humanity rather than race. Actor Al Leong, who plays the Hatchet Man, is animated in his praise for Carpenter.

Richter details how he turned the original period western script into a contemporary film. Goldman provides additional context to the earlier script, including original scenes that were modernized. Martial arts choreographer James Lew explains how he was drawn to martial arts because he saw Asian representation in Bruce Lee films. Castle - best known for playing Michael Myers in Halloween and co-writing Escape from New York - tells more of his origins and musical background that led to The Coupe De Villes. Wallace - who directed Halloween III and It - calls music his first love as he discusses his lifelong friendship with Carpenter, including their earlier musical collaborations. Legendary poster artist Drew Struzan (Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Harry Potter) shares his fascinating backstory and admits that he posed for his own reference photo for Kurt Russell's body on the poster.

Although they did not participate in new extras, 2013 interviews with Carpenter and Russell offer their recent thoughts on the project. The straight-talking Carpenter is open about his unpleasant experience dealing with the studio, while Russell looks back on his Carpenter collaboration with fondness but reveals that the studio intentionally buried the release. There's also interviews from the same period with Cundey, who briefly touches on his many Carpenter collaborations; Franco, which features a lot of the same information from the commentary; and stuntman/actor Jeff Imada. Extras are rounded out by an archival interview with Endlund, who breaks down several visual effect gags, and a vintage making-of featurette.

Big Trouble in Little China is available now on Blu-ray and Steelbook via Scream Factory.

#big trouble in little china #john carpenter #kurt russell #kim cattrall #james hong #jack burton #victor wong #dennis dun #scream factory #dvd #gift #article #review #dean cundey #laz marquez

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sparklyaxolotlstudent · 5 years

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Ladybug Puppet Show

How to Succeed Thanks to Spite Part 3

“what”

That was the flat reaction of Nino during lunch break, when Alya had checked the Ladyblog after sitting with Marinette and him to get lunch, and had told them the number of views their video had gotten.

“A million views.” Said Alya, still not believing it.

“But we just posted it yesterday! Even your most popular video hasn’t passed the thousand views in a day!”

“Well, like 20 views of those views are mine” confessed Marinette.

“Same” Replied Adrien, putting his tray down and sitting at Marinette’s side. “That video was hilarious, and everyone seems to hate the movie, so it’s natural it went viral.”

“Viral? We went Black Plague!”

“Oh yeah, other ladybug blogs are linking to your video too” informed Nathaniel, who sat at the other side of Marinette.

“… You follow other ladybug blogs?”

“… well, the Daily Ladybugle did pay me for some art for their headers, soooo…”

“Traitor”

“Cheapstake”

Alya and Nathaniel blew a raspberry at each other and then laughed at their own in joke.

“Weren’t you freaking out?”

“Oh right, sorry. A MILLION VIEWS?”

The day went normally after that, with Alya checking every now and then the ladyblog, with the views numbers getting bigger and bigger each time. Even Miss Mendeleiev congratulated Nino and Alya during class, although she did point some of the weak points the video had, which at first annoyed Alya, but she took her advice seriously when Ms. Mendeleiev had told her “Good Work”.

The day of classes finished, Miss Bustier dismissed the class and while everyone was gathering their things, Alya’s phone buzzed, indicating a new e-mail. She decided to look at it.

“WHAT THE… bug” she quickly corrected when she noticed everyone was looking at her. Luckily their teacher was gone already, as was half the class.

“What’s wrong?” asked Marinette and Nino almost in unison.

“That… GUY!” said Alya in a very angry tone. Marinette immediately motioned to reassure her friend, not wanting her to be akumatized. Alya gave her phone to Nino, who read quickly through the e-mail.

“Whoah dude! That’s not nice at all!” Half the people who had gathered around them questioned what wrong, with the other half giving reassurance to Alya. “It’s a cease and desist letter from the lawyers of the director of the Ladybug Movie. Apparently they saw our video and want it down. They even say that if we don’t delete the video they will take the whole Ladyblog down”

Everyone started to protest.

“They can do that?”

“Legally no, but I don’t doubt they will make it very very hard for Alya to keep it” Answered Adrien. “That guy is a real piece of work.”

“But it’s not fair, we worked hard in that video!”

“Unfortunately, you guys used material from the trailer and that is most likely copyrighted”

“It should still fall under ‘fair use’ as a parody”

“Still, if this is really real, we can’t afford That Guy suing us.”

“Well, your video is awesome. Why don’t you make it again but without any of his material?”

Everyone looked at Kim as if he had grown a second head. Alya was about to protest the unfairness of having to work again, but relented, as Kim’s idea was actually good. Nino seemed to think the same.

“That’s genius! That way we can claim we are making a parody of Ladybug and Chat Noir themselves instead of that awful movie!”

“Wouldn’t that be a little mean to them? Like, it will look like you’re making fun of our heroes”

“I’m sure they’ll be fine with that” Marinette added, but Alya was thinking.

“No, no, Rose is right; it could be seen as something mean. I’ll ask Ladybug and Chat Noir when I can, until then, that video is going down.”

“I’m pretty sure they’ll be fine with you making a parody of them. They probably already saw the original video too!”

Alya and Nino looked at Adrien weirdly.

“Holy cat, I never thought of that! What if they didn’t like the video? What if they thought we were making fun of them?”

“Oh my phone! What if they agree with That Guy?”

“Guys relax, as Ladybug’s best friend, I’ll ask her next time I see her”

And now everyone looked at Lila. Alya had to use all her willpower to not laugh at her face. She muttered a “thank you” and along with her closest friends, she went out of the classroom and the school.

<('-'<) ^('-')^ v('-')v (>'-')>

Ladybug was a bit nervous. How would she be able to convince Chat to patrol near Alya’s, when they almost never got there? She lived in a nice neighborhood without many incidents, so unless an akuma or another trouble got them near her, they barely went there.

She saw Chat very near the bakery, almost giving her a heart attack. Damn cat was too close… she should be more careful or he could end up thinking she was in love with ‘Marinette’ or something even more awkward.

“Hey Kitty”

“M’Lady, How are you in this purrecious night?”

“Good good. Uhm..”

“Hey, I was thinking about Alya’s video, and I think we should swing by and tell her how much we loved it!”

Ladybug smiled; she loved it when Chat and she were in the same wavelength. She nodded and they went right to Alya’s, which, unsurprisingly, was looking out for them.

They talked about the video and Ladybug had to feign surprise at the cease and desist, while Chat had some words of choice that he would probably don’t repeat in front of kids. Luckily Etta and Ella were playing in the living room and he had to censor himself, after both girls glared very effectively at him.

“It was a cool video. We laughed a lot at it yesterday”

“Really? It didn’t offend you guys?”

“Nah, you were making fun of that awful movie…”

“And even if you were making fun of us, it would be cool. It sort of humanizes us, unlike that movie who tried too hard to make us otherworldly and unapproachable.”

“So… my friends and I were thinking about maybe doing another video without material from the movie… but I wanted to ask first because it might look like we were making fun of you guys and.. “

Ladybug raised her hand and placed it in Alya’s shoulder in a gesture of reassurance. “Don’t worry about it. Like I said, it humanizes us, and I bet you and your friends will make an amazing work with it.”

“Yeah, you have our blessings! Just make sure to get my rugged handsomeness and witty humor right” said Chat while doing some poses. Etta an Ella giggled and approached him.

“We made this for you Chat!” they said in unison. It was a similar drawing as before, with Chat sporting nyan cat attire. They giggled again and left the living room.

“Hey, it seems they did capture your rugged handsomeness exactly right” Chat was staring at the drawing, when Ladybug noticed tears were starting to form on his eyes. “I’m joking, I’m sure they didn’t mean to…”

“This is the nicest thing anyone has ever given to me ever. I should totally get a nyan cat suit.”

-------------------------------

Had some trouble writing this one. The adventure start next one!

Also no, Lila will not get a call out this time. Everyone knowing she is delusional is more fun for this particular fic.

#miraculous ladybug #ml au #ml fic #Ladybug Puppet Show #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #adrien agreste #alya cesaire #Nino lahiffe

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oldtvandcomics · 5 years

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I've seen some posts going around about Crowley/Aziraphale being queerbaiting in the Good Omens series. I'm afraid I will regret writing this, but I have OPINIONS, said opinions being less about Good Omens and more about Tumblr not necessarily understanding the way audiovisuel storytelling and the queer community work, and maybe it's worth taking a moment to think closer about these things.

Spoilers for Good Omens (2019) and some allusions to the Discourse below the cut. Also, long post. You have been warned.

I probably should say here that I liked Good Omens, am myself aro ace, and am of the opinion that Crowley/Arizaphale is canon. So yes, personal bias exists, although I am going to do my best to be objective. Also, I haven't read the book yet, so am only going to be talking about the series.

(Ignoring hereby that they are supposed to be agender. It is a very good series, but they really, REALLY should have found a way to include that piece of information.)

This is a surprisingly complex question, that can be boiled down to three different problems: First, the way people analyze audiovisuel stories (in this case, television, but the argument also stands for movies), second, the term “queerbaiting” not being clear enough and also used too broadly, and third, people's still too narrow view of what is and isn't queer.

In this order, I am going to start with the way tv (and movies) work. It is the least controversial.

One of the things that I love about tv so much is just how complex and layered it is. There is what is directly said and shown to happen, but than there is the music, the acting, the costumes, locations, camera angles and editing, all of which have their own language and add something to how we will see a story. If you watch Good Omens, you'll notice that the exact nature of Crowley's and Aziraphale's relationship never is directly addressed or them confirmed to be queer. However, you will also notice the way they keep looking at each other, the fact that romantic music plays in the background for an awful lot of their scenes together, that they do and say things on a regular basis that goes further than the normal limits of a friendship, and the list goes on. This show is as clear about them loving each other very, very deeply as it possibly can be without directly talking about it.

This, of course, leads us to the question: What is and isn't text? What level of queercoding counts as representation? And this is where things get a little more complicated, because there IS NO clear line. People usually say that it doesn't count, unless the correct term is used. Which makes sense, given everybody's tendency to just... Idk, make a movie about somebody fighting his ex without ever telling us that he is, in fact, his ex, and than hope that they can get away with either the queer fans doing all the hard work of reading between the lines, or just write a couple of tweets about how they're totally gay and get credit for the representation.

Seriously, people, don't do that. If there is a way to use the terms, do it.

But there is a gray area. Welcome to Night Vale never labeled Cecil's orientation, yet we still know that he's gay. That scene they cut from Thor: Ragnarok of Valkyrie leaving the room of a woman? It never said that she was bi. I mean, I haven't seen it, but from what I know, I'd bet A LOT of money that, had they included it, people still would have complained about it not being clear enough. We still act as if including it would have confirmed Valkyrie's bisexuality. What about period pieces, set in times when certain labels didn't exist yet? And, finally, what if a relationship would actually benefit from being left vague and undefined?

There is no clear answer to this. It's a gray are, so feel free to just sit around and think about your own opinion on these things.

Which leads us to queerbaiting: Creators playing up the fact that they MIGHT have a queer character or relationship in their work for publicity, without ever planning to include it. It's a thing that happens both inside and outside of the story. In practice, this usually looks like putting in a lot of subtext between two same-sex characters, including suggestive scenes in the trailers, and going in interviews “well, they could be, it's an ongoing series, you'll just have to wait and see. ;) ”.

Queerbaiting is a VERY vague and very popular term, that is used very broadly, even in cases where it isn't exactly accurate. It is not exactly easy to tell what is actual queerbaiting, and what queercoding because Higher Powers wouldn't let the creators include openly queer characters in their work. Than there is of course the cases where queer characters are kind of there, but it's a blink-and-you-miss-it thing. I've heard the term “queercatching” used for that in a video. Also, queerbaiting is an accusation people like throwing around every time a show disappoints them by not making their OTP canon. (Stop doing that, PLEASE!)

In this context, it is understandably difficult to say if a certain ship is or isn't queerbaiting. However, I would argue that Crowley and Aziraphale are not. I haven't seen all the promotional things going on, so no idea how big of a selling point their relationship was. But I do know that everyone behind the scenes seems to agree that those two love each other very, very deeply, and the show itself isn't trying to hide it. On the contrary, it goes out of it's way to draw our attention to it. To anyone who is watching halfway attentively, it is going to be very, very clear that what those two have going on is NOT straight.

Which leads us to our final point: What is and isn't queer.

Oh dear. It is a topic that is still hotly debated within the community (at least on Tumblr), mostly by people trying to exclude certain orientations or keep other people from using certain terms.

Queer is an umbrella term used for members of the LGBT+ community, meaning “not straight”. It may refer to gender identity, romantic or sexual orientation, and things that don't quite belong in any of the boxes we have. The beauty of the term “queer” is exactly that it is so huge and so vague that it exceeds all boxes and definitions. A really handy thing to have, if you want people to know what you're talking about without needing to give them an hour-long vocabulary lesson first.

Please note here that so far, I have avoided using any labels for Crowley, Arizaphale, or their relationship. Please also not that while I did say that they love each other very deeply, I never used the word “romantic”.

Because here is the thing: I really don't think that they're gay. Or bi, or pan. Or anything else, really. They, and their relationship, like the term “queer”, fall outside of any predetermined categories. It is just, really, really, really clear that what's going on isn't heteronormative.

I have seen many aces being happy and feeling seen and seeing themselves in Crowley and Aziraphale in Good Omens. I've also seen many aros think the same thing. Because here is the beauty of it: We only know that they love each other more than anything else in the world. It is never said that that love is romantic.

I've also seen many allos completely miss this point.

Asexuality and aromanticism, as is to be expected from orientations that are defined by the lack of something, are still very invisible, both in RL and in fan circles. While we do have our own spaces and our own little community, mostly we are just there between our allo friends and... kind of stand and wait in a corner while they are busy with the sex and romance our society is constantly throwing at all of us. Being ace and/or aro is often confused with “being celibate”. We don't talk enough about what sexless or romanceless relationships could look like. No wonder so many people missed it when they saw one in Good Omens.

The queer community is STILL very strongly sexualized. And this is a problem, because while sexual attraction IS an important part of being queer, it is also not the only one. Queer people are still queer if they are not having sex. They are queer if they DON'T WANT TO have sex. They are queer if they don't enter romantic relationships. There is nothing straight about the close bonds aros can have with their friends. There is nothing straight about having a friend be the person you are emotionally closest to, close enough to openly beg them to run away together. Multiple times.

Queerplatonic or quasiplatonic relationships are the ones that are a bit difficult to define, because they are somewhere between “friendship” and “romantic relationship”. What they look like depends really on what the people involved want them to be like. Some live together, others don't. Some do things together that are usually considered to be romantic, others don't. Some kiss or have sex, others don't.

So far, I haven't really seen anybody really talk about the existence of queerplatonic relationships outside of ace and aro circles. And while I aggressively headcanon Sherlock Holmes and John Watson being queerplatonic, this was the first time that I've really seen an actual relationship onscreen that can be easily, or even best, read as being one.

But almost by definition, this means that it has to be vague, and subtle, and floating around somewhere around the lines separating friends from romantic partners. As such, I think that Good Omens did a really good job, giving us a relationship that is so obviously loving but also so beyond easy descriptions. However, this also means that it is easy to miss and end up feeling baited.

The problem is, I'm not sure that they COULD have done it better. Any explicit discussion about Crowley's and Aziraphale's relationship would have felt forced and out of place, and the term queerplatonic isn't enough known, they would have had to follow it up with an explanation of what that even is. And it isn't as if they could have made it any clearer how much they love each other as they did.

Some people say that they should have kissed onscreen.

Betty and Veronica in the Riverdale tv series kissed, and we all still know that it was only queerbaiting.

And isn't that, wouldn't that be, in the end, reducing queerness once more to the sexual bit in queer relationships?

I don't know. As I said, there is no clear answer, and in the end of the day, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

I suppose, the best I can say is that what Good Omens did with Crowley and Aziraphale is very beautiful and well executed and also undoubtedly queer. It is, also, not enough. We still live in a time where we don't have much representation, and therefore all collectively jump on anything we can find. As long as this is the case, people will always be unsatisfied with everything. We need more. More explicit, more sexual, more romantic, yes, but also more quiet and subtle and undefined loving ones.

Anyway. I just had to write my opinion on this, because I REALLY didn't like what looked like a group of people dismissing a queer relationship because it wasn't sexual. This isn't even about Good Omens, not really, more about Tumblr being generally Tumblr and not seeing nuance and not thinking things through.

So... Please learn how to properly analyze audiovisual stories. Please be more careful and think a little before you start throwing around the term “queerbaiting”. And, please, PLEASE take a minute to think through if what you are doing isn't in fact sexualizing queer people and excluding parts of the community because of a too narrow definition of queerness.

And finally, PLEASE leave Gaiman alone. One, he has no obligation towards you whatsoever, and two, this was originally a thirty year old book that, three, he co-wrote with a now deceased friend. Being critical of media is one thing, and obviously, Good Omens isn't perfect. But... Just think about what you're doing before you do it, ok?

#good omens #crowley/aziraphale #my opinion #long post #queer representation #queerbaiting #queerplatonic ships #asexual #aromantic #aro / ace relationships #it's not many people who said it #and there are always some idiots who don't agree with me #in the end of the day #it's up to personal interpretations #but this is a bigger and more structural problem #and good omens just gave me such a good reason to talk about it

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flynn-science · 5 years

Text

Ryan Reacts to Kingdom Hearts 3

Okay, so this is a mix of live reactions and post-world reactions. Lot of live reactions in the beginning and end, more sporadic in between. You can probably guess what I’m reacting to most of the time from the sequence of events.

Mmm dat orchestral Don’t Think Twice Needed a minute on the menu. Finally seeing it say KH3 was A Lot. HOLY FUCK WHAT A COOL INTRO The speed is the same as 0.2, with that sprint that kicks in. Will take some getting used to. The stained glass looks gorgeous though Nice touch of KH1 Sora’s jump animation changing to KH2 Sora’s Making choices again like the original. Vitality is probably health, Wisdom is probably magic, and Balance is, well, balanced. I’ll go balanced. (I’m on Proud, btw) Guardian, Warrior, Mystic. Same as the weapons in KH1. In that case, I’ll make the same choice I do there: Guardian. SORA HAS AN IDLE ANIMATION OH MY GOD BLOCK AND DODGE FROM THE START! Also this sky place is new for a Dive to the Heart (AND THOSE HOOOORNS, LISTEN TO THEM) The water looks great A four-hit combo instead of the usual three? Huh Scan from the start too Nice detail of Sora’s head angling towards the locked on target All this music sounds SO GOOD I’MMA NEED THIS SOUNDTRACK ONCE I’M DONE Ahhh that little soft version of Sora’s theme WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS KINGDOM HEARTS II.9 SHIT These Instagram-style posts on loading screens are adorable Oh damn, we get a LOT of abilities from the start. And this is on Proud! Dodge Roll, Air Slide, Aerial Dodge (formerly a Master Form ability), plus all the Flowmotion stuff Wow, THREE shortcut menus! 12 total! Wow, and a LOT more control over how allies use items. That can be very useful! Sweet, synthesis materials are back! Water is an interesting new spell. And being able to reorder the Magic menu is nice (though I only use shortcuts). Kinda glad the item art has stayed the same. Also hey, Wellspring is from BBS. And first AP Boost of course goes into Sora, as will they all. WOW USING THOSE IS WAY FASTER NOW Yooo that Underworld music with the Titans’ appearance Take a shot every time someone says “Sora, Donald, Goofy” Sora, Donald, Goofy counter: 1 HERCULES HAS JOINED THE PARTY “Team Effort: Always start battles with a team attack command.” Damn, what are those that this ability is FIFTY AP?! (Are team attacks that move we saw Sora and Goofy do in a trailer? The throw?) I like that tutorials are playable at any time Also I was worried Save Points might not return with that auto save message at the start ALSO THIS IS NIGHT OF FATE PLAYING IN THE COMBAT TUTORIAL Ooh, Panacea art is nice. (Panacea has only appeared as a command in games like BBS and re:coded, so it hasn’t had art before) *reads Ability Ring* Damn, if 10 AP is a SMALL boost, I can’t imagine how expensive abilities are gonna get (well, Herc does have that one 50 AP ability) Ultima Weapon returns, looks like Synthesis recipes are based more on collector’s goals than finding them. Looks like there’s 60 synthesis materials, sounds about right. Ooh, synthesis item rarities, types: soothing and pulsing are from BBS, writhing, betwixt, sinister are new. Looks like everything goes in Shards, Stones, and Gems. Ooh that’s a lot of Heartless. Hey when is Jiminy gonna show up? Gonna need to complete that Journal again. Oooh battle music has bits of the old Coliseum battle music. Sora, Donald, Goofy counter: 2 Environmental fire damage followed by Sora’s butt on fire limiting my actions. Neat. Okay, these have been live reactions so far, but I’m gonna stop doing that because it’s slowing my progress. “What the heck is Rage Form?” “OH. OH THAT’S A THING.” I keep seeing hidden Mickeys, I bet those are gonna be a thing with the camera once I get it. Also damn are they giving me a lot of ingredients for the cooking minigame I can’t play yet. So the biggest thing I’ve noticed about the new combat is that because they give you so many really powerful abilities (grand magic at higher levels, formchanges, attractions, team attacks) that are all basically free (are you hitting things with your keyblade or magic? Can you hit this specific enemy once? Can you wait for your teammate to give you a prompt?), the number of enemies in each fight seems to have SIGNIFICANTLY increased from previous entries. KH2’s level design this is NOT. Lots more nooks and crannies to search. Me approaching the gates of Olympus: “Is this Anor Londo?” Yay nostalgic Coliseum music! And oooh little environmental puzzles are back! Like from KH1! I forged Goofy a new shield! Aaaand playable Riku. I have no idea why they were so dodgy about the second playable character. This is only the third time Riku’s been playable. Anyway, gotta fight the Demon Tower again. Damn, Riku is WAY stronger than Sora right now. Wish I could have read his abilities (and moved shortcuts). Nice emulation of the death screen. Also hot damn, is that Repliku talking??? I guess Riku’s “other me” really could be Repliku. Awwwww yeah, Lea’s getting new clothes too! YEAH JIMINY! “Dream Heartbinder” So Heartbinders must be this game’s summon gems, and this one lets me use Dream Eaters. SORA’S THEME IS THE RINGTONE!!! Ienzo’s here, with a bit of OrgXIII music from CoM. HOLY SHIT THE GUMMI SHIP IS THE BEST IT’S EVER BEEN UPGRADEABLE KEYBLADES?! I guess that makes sense, considering they all have different formchanges. They want all of them to stay viable throughout the game. OH MY GOD, DEMON TIDE HAS SO MUCH HEALTH I guess the bosses have to with all these powerful attacks I have Does Hayner have a new voice? Olette sounds different too. Checked the wiki, all three have different actors. Pence sounds closest to his original though. So judging by the Dusks and Snipers, no more enemy-specific reaction commands. The Ducklings sell Gummi blocks now?? Huh. Whoa wait, the road out of Twilight Town’s Tram Common leads back to the world map? Can I NOT go to the clock tower in this game?? Man, Twilight Town felt really small. Hope the remaining worlds don’t, though they’ve certainly seemed significantly larger than the two I’ve been to so far. Also, totally called the Lucky Emblems, though I’m gonna keep calling them hidden Mickeys. I think Tou Story is my favorite world. Granted, I’ve only been to three, but still. The Gigas are super fun, Woody and Buzz look amazing, and I can’t stop whistling/humming along! AHHH CREEPY DOLL Lol, the Verum Nox poster even has a Square Enix logo. First death, the Gigas battle in the video game. GOD DAMN! WOODY dropping an amazing “The Reason You Suck” speech to Xehanort! “Unless you’re in the ~real~ Organization too? Good for you!” Damn, Sora! Also love hearing that music from Chain of Memories every so often Glad flowmotion’s jump isn’t as level-breaking as it was in DDD. Same goes for the attacks. Wow, so Rapunzel permanently leaves the party. Was wondering they’d just give her a different moveset like with Mulan/“Ping”. This is the first time a character permanently leaves your party. And of course, Marluxia. Who I didn’t think could or would return. And Vexen who rejoined willingly, which is, man. Not something I’d have done. Both Norted of course. And was Saïx missing his scar? Maybe he’s just Isa now. I could tell it was Unversed, and Flood specifically, in that first Monstropolis cutscene just from the sound of them spawning. That’s how I know I’ve put a lot of hours into this series. Monstropolis feels the most linear so far. Arendelle’s ice labyrinth is awesome, the level design gives me some light Dark Souls vibes. I like how there’s zero explanation for Sora, Donald, and Goofy being able to breathe underwater in The Caribbean. And by that I mean I would have liked even just one line to explain it. The ship combat isn’t as good as AC3’s and AC4’s, but it’s still pretty good for a one-world mechanic! The ship is a LOT more responsive than the AC ones. And damn, is this world open. Okay, San Fransokyo is gonna be a pain to search for chests and Mickeys. PRESS TRIANGLE TO SORA IS THE BEST REACTION COMMAND I HAVE EVER SEEN Jiminy telling people about summaries on the gummiphone is Square Enix saying “IF YOU DIDN’T PLAY THE GAMES, READ THE FUCKING SUMMARIES” Giant battle at the start of Keyblade Graveyard was cool, but hurt the frames, especially on the fake shadows. And just as I was getting hyped at the possibility of having Riku and Aqua as party members. Oh hey, just realized Riku’s keyblade has a Mickey keychain now too. “And so, as legend foretold, darkness prevailed and light expired...” “Your hearts will be torn from your bodies” “To move through time, you must leave your body behind.” THE FINAL WORLD?! Wait, Sora’s been here MULTIPLE times?? Okay, so the star talking about the person who’d miss them, whose heart has been taken by another’s? Strelitzia? Talking about Lauriam? Love and hate? Going back for fight after fight? Hm. Cloud or Sephiroth maybe? (Longshot, but it doesn’t sound like a khux character, or anyone else) Identical pair? There’s no twins in this series. Like walking alongside a mirror... maybe it’s not an literal identical nature? Same clothes, same food, maybe Xion?? “Nothing left to teach you”? Damn, that’s not much to go on. Maybe Eraqus’ and Xehanort’s master?? “Just friends... stepped back” Skuld maybe? “I’m gone... they’ve added another member” Could that be Xion? Wait, no, how could Xion be here, she’s still within Sora’s heart. Are these actual named characters we’ve met before? Or not? The one who was defeated and supposed to fade... Repliku?? But he’s with Riku now... Someone searching for their Papa??? Most of the characters in this series don’t have parents at all, so my only guess here is Pinocchio?? No way a Disney character ends up here though. I don’t think all of these are characters we know. Someone holding onto a sliver of memory, and a servant?? Yeah, these could all just have been ordinary people. Naminé?! What happened to Kairi??? Okay, so the darkness split them. KAIRI IS KEEPING SORA FROM FADING AWAY OH MY HEART “GO TO HER” SHE SAYS "That's not the official thank-you!" Lol Damn, this area is fuckin huge, why is it so huge?? A PORTAL?! A DDD PORTAL HERE?! Well this place is rad. I better see that weird Darkside at some point here OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH OH IT ROTATES THAT'S FUCKIN SICK God damn, this game's got some of the best level design of the series! Is... is this OUR Chirithy? “He doesn’t remember the past”? Although I guess it could be Marluxia/Luxord/Demyx’s too. Or Ven’s. My bet is that it’s Ven’s. DID SORA JUST TIME JUMP BACK A FEW MINUTES??? Aaaand did nothing different. So now we’re world-hopping like we did back in End of the World. OH WHAT IS THIS DIVING INTO STATIONS TO PICK A WORLD?!?! YOOOOOOOO Just Kairi and Lea are left. Haven’t hit San Fransokyo or Twilight Town yet. Guess they must be in those two. Last one is San Fransokyo. Lea must be here. Kairi’s probably gonna be the last. “Traversing hearts to reach worlds” That must be what I’ve been doing here. Not jumping between worlds, jumping between HEARTS. Was Sora just considering telling her he loves her? He should have. Wait, am I back in time? This already happened... OH SHIT! THE LINGERING WILL IS HERE! EPHEMER! OHHHHHHH HO HO WOW! OHHHHHH FUCK! YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Congrats to all the lucky people who got their names in the game! PRESS TRIANGLE TO UNION X GIANT SHADOW MASTER XEHANORT IS TERRIFYING I like how Axel is holding his keyblade by the guard instead of the handle OH SHIT MASTER YEN SID! YOOOOOO! Okay KH3, I want to fight thirteen bosses now, you hear me? DAMN that Ancient Light finisher on Starlight’s Second Form is STRONG YOOOOOOO THREE BOSSES AT ONCE??? (I really hope this is as tough as they were before, but seeing as Xemnas was harder in 1 than in 2, doubt it) Went to help Mickey first, so I’m taking on Marluxia, Luxord, and Larxene Oh come ooooon, I barely got to fight them! Luxord’s out, 12 to go OH SHIT THE OTHER TWO Larxene’s done, 11 to go. With XI conveniently up next. Marluxia’s defeated once again. 10 left. Hey whatever happened with that comment of their ancient keyblade legacy...? Xigbar... might be gone? So maybe 9 left. Dark Repliku is defeated, and light Repliku gave himself up so the Replica could be used for Namine. That’s sweet. 8 left. YO actual time of day change! I like the door switches. Nice having little environmental things like this. Hm, Kairi and Lea one way, Aqua and Ven the other. Well that’s no contest, gotta go back up my girl Kairi! Mysterious new hooded figure??? Oh. Oh no. I think it’s Xion. D: Yeah. It’s her. *Xion stops Xemnas “YEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYYE YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH” *Roxas shows up “OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK” THE WHOLE GANG’S HERE YOOOOOOOOOOO Shout outs to Ienzo, Ansem, Vexen, and Demyx for helping Roxas return! WHY THE FUCK IS KAIRI GETTING KIDNAPPED A-FUCKING-GAIN, NOMURA WHY WAS SHE EVEN TRAINING, FUCK Okay, so Kairi and Lea/Axel are out, BUT ROXAS AND XION ARE IN OH HOLY SHIT, SORA SQUAD FORM UP!!!! I HAD TO STOP AND LISTEN TO THE MUSIC FOR A MINUTE It’s all three of their themes! (Plus a bit of Another Side) THIS IS THE HYPEST SHIT Aww, Saix’s death mirrors Xion’s. AND THE SEA-SALT TRIO REUNITE! Saix is out, 7 left. Xion turned, 6 left. Vanitas fades again, 5 left. I know some people had hoped for a heel-face turn, but I knew it wasn’t likely. WHAT TERRA’S HEART WAS IN ANSEM’S GUARDIAN THIS WHOLE TIME. THAT THEORY WAS RIGHT! Terra-nort’s back to just Terra. 4 left. Just wanna say, I love that it’s Sora who gets to turn the tides of all these fights. Who’s dull and ordinary NOW, huh?? AND he’s still going! Oh boy, time for a triple Xehanort fight! UMMM NINE KEYS (but why are they No Name and not the X-blade?) OOOOOOOHHHHHHH THIS BLEND OF ANSEM, XEMNAS, AND YOUNG XEHANORT'S THEMES Guardando Nel Buio, Darkness of the Unknown, and Impeto l’Oscurito 1V3 ME, I'LL TAKE YOU ALL ON Young Xehanort returns to his time. 3 left. I like how we all agree to pause the fight whenever someone falls. Xemnas fades. 2 left. Ansem as well. Just 1 darkness left. WHAT THE FUCK, KAIRI NOOOOOOOOOOOO AH SHIT HE’S GOT THE X-BLADE AH SHIT HE’S GOT KINGDOM HEARTS Oh hey, everyone’s caught up. Donald: “You can’t do anything without us, Sora.” Me: “Donald, shut the FUCK UP.” Xion: “Kairi will be alright.” Me: “OH THANK GOD” Scala ad Caelum. Stairway to Heaven. It looks like a proto-Land of Departure. But the music is Case of the Foretellers from X Back Cover. Could this place and Land of Departure once have been Daybreak Town? Damn, Dark Kingdom Hearts is over the ENTIRE Keyblade Graveyard now Spooky twelve figures are spooky Why do they have the Organization’s weapons?! I love this return of Destati though They all had a shared HP bar? Scala ad Caelum’s world icon is kinda shaped like a heart Oh wow, full Inception Weird hearing Rage Awakened without the Lingering Will here “There is one sky, one destiny!” “DEEEESTAAAATI!” Ohhhhh shit Shout out to the heart in the floor design though And the figure in the middle has 7 points Classic Xehanort pose from the KH2 secret ending Aaaaand now he’s got ANOTHER Kingdom Hearts! GREAT WHOA HE FORCED ME INTO RAGE FORM DESTATI IN FULL FORCE WHAT A RAD FINISHING BLOW! The canon death screen, the heartbeat, Donald and Goofy calling from my controller! ONE BIG BLAST! So Xehanort sees himself as some sort of white knight? A templar to guide the masses with an iron fist? Yeah, no dice dude. Sora’s right, not your choice to make, and destiny is beyond your control. So Eraqus really WAS with Terra all this time. MARK HAMILL IS BACK!!! Xehanort just hands it over, huh? Wow, closure between Eraqus and his apprentices after all these years Eraqus and Xehanort mimic Sora and Riku from KH2, and pass on. Go get her, Sora. HIKARI ORCHESTRAL Ven met his Chirithy! Lea’s finally wearing his new outfit. Aw, Xion looks good too! And Isa’s here! Naminé is back too! And I bet the Namine/Riku shippers are happy! AWWW They’re all hanging out at Destiny Islands! Look at them all being friends!!! THERE THEY ARE! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

Epilogue: XIGBAR HAS BEEN LUXU THIS WHOLE TIME?! WHAT WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?! You know while watching Back Cover I was like “Man, the Master of Masters really talks like Xigbar for some reason.” BOY DOES THAT MAKE SENSE NOW So what was it about Ava’s role with the Dandelions that led to her absence here? AND WHAT’S IN THE GODDAMN BOX Is it a Book of Prophecies? Something else entirely? In any case, I doubt Maleficent and Pete would be able to get it away from them all. Secret Ending, “Yozora”: Ooh, “Another Side, Another Story” vibes right off the bat. SORA! And... Riku? Well this is just Japan. Wait, the guy from Verum Rex? And a black coat, who’s probably Xigbar/Luxu or the Master of Masters? After watching, a friend informed me that Riku is in Verum Rex. And Sora’s dead. Cause he’s in TWEWY’s version of Shibuya, since that one building said “104.” But which one is the black coat in? It could be the Master of Masters dead, in Sora’s world. Or Xigbar/Luxu, still watching things.

I have no idea what comes next. But I am excited.

#kingdom hearts 3 #kh3 #kh3 spoilers #kh spoilers

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sillyfudgemonkeys · 5 years

Note

Im curious as to why you hate Makoto for ripping of p3pfemc's looks but consent to Royal-chan for the same thing? ( I know you hate Makoto for a lot of other reasons, like her personality and such, but it seemed like you disliked her since prereveal/release?) If Royal chan ended up being a completely unrelated character to femc, will your opinion of her change ? (no hate really, i jst wanna know. \V/m )

It's no prob! In all honesty I didn't even think about this kind of question, but the answer came right away, so I guess time for a not so deep reflection.

So like full stop, if Poniko isn't connected to the FeMC and it's just Atlus messing with me, yeah I'mma be PISSED. Will I rip on her looks like no tomorrow? Maybe, depends on how it’s handled (like how bad they burn me, and even then I might wait for a spinoff cause they might go into the connection there rather than Royal). I think it's obvious I went harder on Makoto because I don't like her for other reasons, and so any small thing about her annoys me (tbh Yusuke's design annoys me too, but not as bad cause....I kinda just don’t care about him and who he’s copying as much, but I'll get to that in a bit)

Anyway I think we need some historical context, because I think it’s important. When Makoto (and Yusuke) where first shown......FeMC had been ignored for A LONG time. We had a non-canon play (which no one really talked about), and that was it. No game related stuff, not even featured in the game where people were getting ripped out of timelines. FeMC were BURNED. I’ll be honest, when Yusuke appeared......While the parallels between P2 were obvious (not just with him) he reminded me of Minato as well. It annoyed me we had to have the token blue hair character since the rule had been made since the P3 era (kinda enforced with some black haired characters from P1/2, combining P2 games together that is, if you want to include them), Atlus said they’d be trying new things..... but like....whateves. But my association with him as Minato increased....when Makoto came along.

Ngl I wasn’t pleased with the reveal of the last three girls (even didn’t like Haru, for ironically now what I love as an alt rewrite for her as, as I thought she’d be a mean and person full of herself due to calling herself ‘beauty thief’....Yeah all types of crazy here, I do love sweet Haru tho. And the reason for my opinion changing on the alt non-canon personality rewrite is just I.....see the appeal in it for the group dynamic now, while at the time I was afraid of disliking any of the characters or having them be disliked by the fandom.....which big laugh now haha :’D .....I want my happy P5 self back ;w;). Anyway back to the three girls, ngl one of the reasons I wasn’t happy was how they just dumped 3 more characters on us (too big a cast so can they handle it?, silly has to do more VA videos, I want the smaller cast back oh god don’t screw this up, and so on and so on). As for the characters, while Haru’s appearance in the trailer mislead me on her personality (for whatever reason)..... I just.....there was something about Futaba and Makoto I didn’t like. Futaba just rubs me all the wrong ways for reasons I can’t describe for back then (maybe the fact she looked like she’d be a troll and she kinda is), but Makoto it was clear...... She was ripping off FeMC’s look. The brown hair and red eyes.....the fact that Yusuke looked like Minato.....it felt like they were trying to draw them as expies of the P3MCs. And it pissed me off. I didn’t want an unrelated character look and remind me of the FeMC, I wanted FeMC herself! Why are you stealing her look????? And while some FeMC saw this and rolled with it as a joke (Hamu/Minty/Shin dressing up as Makoto/Yusuke/Goro to get into P5), other’s didn’t know who the FeMC was and thus.....didn’t see the blatant expy/rip off design. Seeing people be like “her character design is so original and cute and blah blah blah”.....it annoyed me....obviously (it didn’t help she grew in popularity doing absolutely nothing too, so initially it was all about her looks, and then I’ve been told a lot of her fans, at least male, has been mostly them saying the like her design and her hair and her eyes, and no everyone who likes Makoto is an FeMC fan so....yeah.....I mostly hear how it’s just about her design so I’m very focused on that in regards to her specifically BECAUSE of the fans). And yeah I know it was a bit petty/shallow reason, but I didn’t outright hate her atm, she was stepping on my toes badly but I was holding out till the game (where it finally cemented my hate for her, and now I legit hate her for petty, shallow, deep, and complex reasons). And lordy lord lord, it did not help Makoto’s name was Makoto, because that was a name some FeMC fans gave Hamuko (cause Makoto Yuki was the closest ‘canon’ name we’d get to P3MCs, and some people adopted it for both MCs cause it was gender neutral, so Niijima coming along and taking THAT away sucked ass, and I know different kanji, it still sucked tho). It just....felt like Atlus was spitting in FeMC fan’s face..... But anyway, I kept it in....for about....2ish years. Even when I was trying to stay positive.......and even when I was slowly starting to come out with negative opinions. I tried to keep it in.

Finally I decided to make it framed as a joke, because I started to see Makoto ripping off more characters than just FeMC (FeMC, Aika, and Naoto in the detective novel to be precise, but what got the ball rolling was realizing that it was Aika who Makoto ripped the hair and motor vehicle from with the FeMC’s color scheme). That’s where my brain started going other places than just being restricted to FeMC, and I started being more critical of Makoto’s design outside the FeMC (tho that still burned me). Because, imo, it’s not original, it annoyed me people would say she was original when she was really just a Frankenstein rip off of other characters (other loved characters, FeMC and Aika were pretty popular in their own right). It only continued to cement in my mind that....anything ‘original’ about Makoto was a farce, she just copies while the original gets left behind.

Tldr; FeMC had been snubbed for years, along comes two design expies that remind you of P3MCs (3 if you wanna include Goro/Ken but Goro looks different enough imo), Makoto is named Makoto (a name some used for FeMC), and Makoto is praised for her design for being original and blah blah blah when it’s not (for multiple reasons besides the FeMC, kinda more the fans reactions fault but I was already having design issues so it just bugged me more when they’d say these things). So yeah it felt like Makoto stole aspects of the FeMC, and it’s not like FeMC has a lot for herself, which really just stepped on my toes. Combined that with legit hating the character when I finally get to see her in action (and it’s because of her actions and writing that I hate-hate the character, but prior to that it was just her stepping on my toes while trying to keep an open mind into liking her), the stuff said before gets amplified more than before.

But months later, after the first post of me ripping on Makoto for taking FeMC and Aika’s design (tho my later posts were in drafts I just didn’t post them till later), something amazing happened on Aug 4th. FeMC finally came back to us. And holy shit obviously I was happy, but it doesn’t dismiss the fact I was aware of how much of design rip off/expy Makoto was, and it wasn’t just FeMC anymore. But gdi if the fact that the FeMC wasn’t being ignored anymore didn’t change the outlook for me as an FeMC fan. FeMC was back, she’s loved, care was put into her character in PQ2, just.....skdfalf;a so happy ;w; But also so hopeful, she was acknowledged again, she had been cut from the 20th anniversary event in official art, and that hurt us, but now she’s back back. And she was a main character in PQ2.....which leads to you questioning, what next?

Which brings us to Poniko, the one post hopeful outlook. Obviously she’s not starting in the same place as Makoto. Poniko has been revealed post-PQ2 FeMC....which means Atlus isn’t ignoring Hamuko (in fact a lot of the creators were stating they WANTED her back), we know the creators do love Hamuko. There’s also the fact.....Poniko looks less like an expy like Makoto (who imo looks like Soejima trying to emulate Kaneko’s art style, esp the eye shape, same with Yusuke too). Poniko? It goes beyond ripping off a design, she looks like she’s almost fully lifted from Hamuko, it just looks like Hamuko wearing a different outfit. Just straight up copy and paste. And would I have been pissed if she was revealed alongside Makoto? Maybe, or I might be theorizing that she is Hamuko herself like now (tho I think it’d get more push back due to Hamu being in Atlus’ basement for so long so it just being claimed as delusional and unlikely), or both (and then pissed when it’s revealed it’s not Hamuko). It’s just....she looks SO MUCH like Hamuko it can’t be a coincidence, and after PQ2 it feels less like one as well. Just.....the posture, the cinematic parallels, the hair color, the eye color, the eye shape, the eyelashes, the face structure, the way she stands.....Poniko just screams “I AM Hamuko” not “I just look like her because.” And it helps that other people in the fandom also see this too, some are hoping she’s a new person, but it seems people at least acknowledge that very obvious similarities between Hamuko and Poniko (while that didn’t really happen with P5 with Hamuko/Makoto).

And....tbh I feel like I might sound like I’m splitting hairs (at least with the words I’m using). And it might sound weird that I think Makoto ripped off enough Hamuko it pissed me off, but Poniko just.....is a copy and paste of Hamuko, just straight up Hamuko in a different outfit and hairstyle but it doesn’t. But it’s the historical context I think that sheds that light. And the fact Poniko might just BE Hamuko, and so it’d make sense if that was the case for them to look like each other (while it doesn’t make sense for Makoto to look like Poniko).

I guess it also helps that I personally had the headcanon Hamuko and Minato weren’t related (just strangers on the bridge in two separate cars), and they both survived the bridge accident but one became the leader of SEES and the other went on to live and do their own thing (until maybe a spinoff game pulls them back in). And while I.....well recalling it now I considered a reincarnation once in a hc scenario (opted for time travel forward cause that makes sense 8U I won’t go into it I had my reasons 8U), but looking at the 1st year symbol on Poniko (and reincarnation in other MegaTen works, I mean c’mon reincarnation is in the title) it feels plausible. And it works for Poniko because of the time the incident and the time to be reincarnated takes place (1999 being the accident and April 1 2000-April 2 2001 being the time frame she was born), which wouldn’t ever work for Makoto because she was born in 1998 (so even if I HAD considered Makoto it wouldn’t have worked, esp since they never tell us she jumped grades, it’s not possible....and while I’m all for hc and grey areas, this is something that WOULD be explicitly told because it’s not common in Japan and Atlus has been explicit about characters not in the ‘right’ grades before, just an fyi there 8U).

I dunno I feel like there’s distinct clear reasons that I can fit them into separate categories. And yeah if Poniko isn’t Hamuko I’mma be burned too, BUT I’mma wait till a spinoff post-Royal before I get pissy.....cause I don’t expect clear answers to other past games in another game’s mainline entry (I only expect shallow shoutouts tbh). So yeah, just so you know where the deadline for my expectations are.

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xephinatheeleven · 6 years

Text

Movie Nights

Word Count: 5,966

Summary: Roman wants the other sides to understand the passion he has for musicals and theatrics, and just when he thinks no one will see what he sees, Virgil surprises him.

Warnings: Panic Implied

Pairings: Platonic Prinxiety

———

Roman knew it was obvious to anyone he knew that he had a deep adoration for anything pertaining to Disney, Broadway, and musicals, but for him it wasn’t enough. He relished in the lights when Thomas took to the stage, and it was a wonderful feeling, but the other sides didn’t seem to understand quite why the productions enraptured him so. The Prince longed for the day when his family would finally experience first-hand the joy he found in the acting and music, whether he was a part of it or not. He even went as far as to set up movie nights, in which he could only hope the others would learn to see what he adored so deeply.

Despite the regularity of the events, Patton was the only one who never failed to join him, so he was probably the closest to understanding his enthusiasm. There was still some sort of disconnect, the fatherfigure was excited about everything, and there was nothing different to his reactions when he watched. Meanwhile, Logan agreed to be in attendance about half of the time, and that was only when his work didn’t interfere with the gatherings. He didn’t fool the creativetrait though, he may claim to hate any and all emotions, but something told him that the intellectual had at the least an appreciation for theatrics. Virgil on the other hand was the one he was having the hardest time getting through to, seeing as he came up with any excuse possible to get out of the occasions. The fancifulaspect had tried every type of musical he could think of from Richard Rogers to old black-and-white classics, from full movie productions to recorded plays, but nothing seemed to draw the interest of the negativefacet.

Roman smiled to himself as he started for the stairs, because the movie night he had planned was going to be different this time around. He had finally after months of choosing movie after movie, and a week of non-stop asking and pestering, convinced Anxiety to join them in watching Les Misérables. The visionarycharacter knew that his constant nagging would more than likely bring his friend into the situation with a close-minded attitude, but he just had to pray that the majesty of the production would change his outlook. His zeal only grew at the smell of buttered popcorn and other junk foods, which was accompanied by the sight of his colleagues chatting in the kitchen. Morality was pouring snacks into bowls, and had just told one of his jokes judging by Logic’s exasperated expression. Across from them the darkestpersona leaned against the counter with his headphones on, but it wasn’t long before his gaze shifted to the steps, drawing the attention of the other two as well.

There was more than likely some small detail that was considerably negligible to the rest of them that had alerted the youngestside to his presence, but that being the case or not, the way he was able to pick up on such things still managed to baffle Princey. “You have your headphones on, how do you do that?”

He was forced to repeat himself as his gloomycounterpart turned off his music, and an air of confusion settled over him as he heard the question properly, “how do I do what?”

The academic was quick to jump into the conversation, “I believe Roman is referring to the way in which you can identify someone’s presence even before they make it known. In this particular case, you were somehow capable of knowing he was on the stairs before he said anything, and that is an ability that still manages to elude us.”

Virgil scoffed under his breath, before suddenly looking between the two of them, “I’m not laughing at you. If anything I’m laughing at myself, because I always forget that you guys don’t see and treat everything as if it could pose a threat…that’s not a bad thing.” He swiftly gestured for the whimsicaltrait to stop as he started again for the first-floor, “I want to see if any of you can figure out how I noticed.” As he fell silent, each of them tried looking and listening to their surroundings intently, doing their best to pick up on the smallest of details that they would otherwise miss. One by one however, they turned to face the observantaspect in defeat, who merely shook his head, “Roman, do me a favor, raise your hand and pretend to wave at us.” Giving him an unconvinced look which surely displayed his skepticism, he did as he was asked. The fight-or-flight reflex shifted his gaze, and until he spoke, the imaginativefacet thought he was gazing at Patton, “look there.” He gestured to the wall above them, “it’s faint…but you can just barely see his shadow moving above the stove.” Sure enough, just where he had said there was a soft outline of his hand moving back and forth against the white backdrop, “er…you can stop waving now Sir Sing-A-Lot.”

The Prince quickly returned his hand to his side and continued down the steps, he had been right, the detail picked up by the youngestembodiment was one that he never would have seen on his own. He shook his head to clear it, “shadows or no, it’s good to finally have you join us for a movie night.”

“It’s not like I had much of a choice, you’ve been bothering me about it for ages,” Anxiety rolled his eyes, popping a pretzel in his mouth. “Every time you’ve seen me, you’ve practically begged…again.”

“Well we’re glad to have you with us either way!” The kindestpersonification smiled despite the disinterested response, with both him and Logan taking the bowls from the counter and heading into the common-room. “Come on kiddos! I want to hear the people sing!” The two who still stood in the kitchen shared a look, laughing under their breath, but he didn’t know if that was because of the pun or the annoyed reaction from the rationalfigment. The lighterattribute didn’t seem to notice as he hummed, skipping down the hall, nearly spilling the snacks with each step.

Joining their companions in from of the television, he and Virgil took their seats on the sofa while the logical and moralsides opted to sit on the floor. Their backs rested against the ottomans on which the others placed their feet, keeping them from having to squish uncomfortably together on the couch. They each choose a snack they preferred, and made sure their glasses were full as the analyticaltrait navigated through the trailers and menus. The darkestaspect pulled out his phone, and for a brief moment Roman prepared to reprimand him, the movie hadn’t even begun and yet he was already choosing not to pay attention. He held his tongue however when he saw what the one sitting to his left was actually doing, he silenced the device and returned it to his pocket without a glance to any of them. Perhaps things weren’t going to be as dismal as he had feared, if the negativemanifestation was willing to truly watch, then maybe, hopefully, he would be intrigued enough by the film to watch another later on. It was a long shot, but his friend may yet be able to find that he could appreciate the musicals in the same way that the creativearchetype did.

Eventually the intellectual got the DVD to play, and the movie began with its signature flag-in-the-water opening over the dramatic score of the first song. Princey knew he only had one shot to convince the observantfacet, so he could only pray that he had chosen a production that would grab his interest. He was also aware that the one he was trying to convince often became irritated with the way he could recite every line of a movie; therefore, he did his best not to do so. He did slip up when it came to singing his favorite pieces, which if he was being honest was most of them.

As the story progressed, he wasn’t surprised as the lightestcharacter slowly drifted off, resting his head against Anxiety’s ottoman. He had spent most of the day cleaning, and that was all before they had to go and film a video with Thomas, so his fatigue was understandable. The fancifulattribute made a mental note as he had in times past to make sure their colleague got to bed once the film had concluded. The gloomiersidecast a glance to the sleeping figure, and it was clear that he had noticed too, seeing as he returned his eyes to the screen without a word.

He had no idea how much time had passed when the teacher stood with his glass in hand, and started for the kitchen, supposedly to refill it, and that was when Roman heard it. Over the footsteps, and the soft breathing of the fatherlytrait was something he had never before witnessed during one of the movie nights. A voice that was shockingly clear despite the low volume it maintained, following each of Javert’s riffs and notes in the song Stars, butundoubtedly better than Russell Crowe’s. Pattonwas asleep, and Logan out of the room, so that left only one other who could be singing, and with thesurprising realization, he made sure not to move for fear that Virgil would take notice of the shift in his attention and stop.

Remaining still and quiet, the whimsicalaspectwas astounded by how striking the other’s voice was, and he was momentarily left to wonder why he’d never made the observation before. Doing his best to recall any point in the past where his companion had dared to lift his tone in song, he found that thefight-or-flight reflex had either been disinterested, or forced into singing, and had his low and raspy inflection not betrayed that? Now the words had lost that edge, and though it was hardly more than a whisper, his voice was strong with a sense of passion and professionalism he’d never heard in his friend before.

Somewhere beneath the awe, Princey had a feeling of accomplishment, not only had he succeeded in getting hisapprehensivecounterpart to join them, but he was clearly more impressed with the musical than expected. Looking to his left without turning his head, there was something about the way Anxiety’s eyes were trained on the screen, which made it appear he wasn’t aware of his singing. That was something the visionaryfacet constantly guilty of, and also caused relief to course though him. The other was so encapsulated; he had for once failed to notice the minor detail,which was the lack of Roman’s own voice.

Realization struck him with such ferocity that it felt like a physical blow, in that instant he saw a part of himself reflected in someone he had once considered to be an enemy. The idea spoke volumes to him; they had both come so far that something which would have at one time been used as a mockery was now a commonality. Their friendship had strengthened with time, but it was still difficult for the two of them to find any sort of shared interest since in personality alone they differed so greatly. At the thought, it began to sink in just how far his success reached; it was more than just introducing his colleague to something he cherished. Instead he had managed, if only by accident, to find a way in which to come to a better understanding with someone he had gone against so avidly in the past. Had he not been so focused on his own joy, the Prince may have picked up on the most crucial detail during the movie as opposed to after, especially since it was one that should not have been so easily missed. The darkly-dressed side already knew all of the lyrics to the songs he was singing along to, meaning it was far from the first time he had seen the film.

Virgil yawned as the end credits scrolled across the screen, it had been a long day, and though it wasn’t uncommon for him, the movie had kept them up late into the night. Morality had actually fallen asleep less than halfway through the film, leaning against the ottoman on which the negativetrait had been resting his feet. He might have done the same, but he couldn’t remember the last time he had seen Les Misérables, and his fear of the others finding out how much he enjoyed the movie would more than likely keep him from seeing it again in the near future. Despite the way he had fought against Roman on the subject of the movie night, he hadn’t wanted to miss out on one of his favorite productions again, and had only resisted to avoid suspicion. He often considered giving up on his façade and just telling the others how much he cherished musicals, but after the way the creativeaspect had mocked to him for being a Disney fan, he didn’t dare. Anxiety knew that it wasn’t fair for him to have to avoid something he loved so, but he couldn’t handle the idea of being mocked like that again. He had put on a brave face and used insults to cover the shame that had flooded him in the previous argument, but as soon as he was away from the camera he had wondered if he even had the right to like the movies.

The gloomierfacet tried to clear his mind of the thoughts, and became worried for a moment that the Prince was onto him before he knelt down and picked up the fatherlycharacter. A small nod was the only acknowledgement he gave to himself and Logan before he turned and made his way up the stairs. After a reasonable amount of time, he left the academic to shut down the entertainment system, and returned to his corner of the mindscape. Once there he knew his odds of getting any sleep were slim, so he sat back on his bed and took out his phone. Placing his headphones over his ears, he chose to listen to a playlist of song from the Les Misérables as opposed to his usual Fall Out Boy or Green Day music.

Virgil had gone through about half of the list, listening to In My life / A Heart full of Love when, even without his hearing, he noticed someone was at his door from the shadows that shifted beneath it. Making sure to pause his music he pondered who would want his attention so late, and decided that he wouldn’t be disturbed if it wasn’t important, so he deftly moved to greet the visitor. He was more than a little shocked when the threshold revealed Roman, but nervousness overcame the feeling as the younger of the two realized that his expression was unreadable.

He placed his headphones around his neck so the other would know he could hear, but he was at a loss for words, so the fancifulside spoke first, “silence doesn’t make for a very warm welcome Hot Topic.”

Shaking his head to clear away the confusion, he did his best to formulate a response, “well I’m not exactly used to visitors Sir Sing-A-Lot.”

Princey merely shrugged at the words, his eyes betraying nothing, “decided to change things up a bit…I’ll help you with the welcoming thing though. Generally someone would say ‘would you like to come in.’”

The observantpersona glanced back to his room, “you know as well as I do that it is risky for anyone else to come in here.” He paused, turning back, “if you want to talk, it might be better for the two of us to go down to the commons.”

“Works for me,” even with his nonchalant tone, Anxiety did see the glimmer of relief that passed though his otherwise blank expression as he started for the stairs. He knew well that the horrors of a panic-attack weren’t easily forgotten, so it was understandable that his colleague was more comfortable conversing in an environment where there was less risk of going though one.

Closing the door behind him, the negativetrait swiftly followed hiswhimsicalcounterpartto the first-floor, and he didn’t know what to make of the smug look he was given when he arrived. “Why are you looking at me like that?” He decided as Roman gestured for him to sit, that he preferred the unreadable expression he was given prior to the one he was granted presently.

Nothing else was said until the apprehensiveaspect had taken the seat across from his friend, “humor me. What made you decide to join us this evening?”

Virgil didn’t know what he had expected, but that wasn’t it, “I told you earlier that you pestered me endlessly.”

“Fair enough,” once again confusion draped over him like a cold washcloth, the Prince never gave in that easily, so now he was left to wonder what the other was planning. He looked in the direction of the blank television, “did you enjoy the movie though?”

In a desperate attempt to hide his worries, he chose to use a sarcastic inflection in his voice, “do you question Logan and Patton after every movie like this?”

He didn’t miss the exasperated glare the imaginativeattribute shot in his direction, “no, but something caught my attention earlier.” Suddenly the glare was replaced by a knowing look that unnerved the darkercharacter, “now, since you don’t seem willing to answer my question…I’ll answer it for you. You did enjoy the film, but it’s more than that…you’ve seen Les Mis before, and I’d be willing to bet you’ve seen it more than once.”

The gloomierside had no way of knowing how he could have figured out a secret he tried so desperately to hide, so the claim threw him completely off his guard, and he hated himself for the way the shock caused his voice to crack. “What the hell are you talking about?”

His self-hatred only grew when the visionarytrait gave him a victorious smile, “I thought Patton told us lying is wrong. I will say this much though, it took me way too long to realize how much you liked the movie.” He paused, staring at the far wall, “at first I thought I had just succeeded in introducing you to a musical you liked…” Trailing off Roman locked eyes with him, “then I realized that you knew all of the lyrics.” Anxiety knew he must have looked as horror-stricken as he felt; somehow he had managed to fail at holding his tongue, and not only shown that he enjoyed the film, but that he knew it, and well. He couldn’t remember any point, at which he had sung along with the characters, but there was no reason for the one sitting across from him to lie. Princey spoke again before he could find his voice however, “I know singing isn’t really your thing Virge, but you look like you're almost sick with fear…are you okay?”

Was he okay, he didn’t know, but he did know that he felt sick from the realization of his mistake, and wished he could return to his room and never leave again. There was no mistake he could have made in the situation he had fought tooth-and-nail to avoid that could have been worse than the one the observantaspect had just been made aware of. Now his oversight was going to force him to withstand the same berating he had received in the past, and he wasn’t sure how well he was going to deal with it. Taking a deep breath, he failed miserably to keep his voice steady, “did either of the others notice?”

The confusion in the eyes of the creativefacet was momentarily lapsed by joy, “you do like musicals!” He cleared his throat, and concern overshadowed his elation, “Patton was asleep, and as smart as he may be, Logan is blind to anything but his work, so as far as I know, no one realized but me.” Virgil didn’t dare to look up, even though he felt some relief from the confirmation that his mistake had gone unnoticed by the others, it was the one who had heard him that worried him most.

Roman couldn’t help but feel like his anxiouscounterpart was acting completely out of character, “you're starting to scare me now Hot Topic…you look like you're about to pass out.”

A few seconds of silence filled the air as the fight-or-flight reflex leaned back in his chair, clearly trying to push away some sort of panic, “I-I’m fine, j-just thinking?”

The way he spoke as if he wasn’t in control of his thoughts unnerved the fancifulmanifestation, and even worse he felt that it was somehow his fault. He had been so excited to find a commonality between the two of them, but something had gone horribly wrong, this was not at all how he had expected his companion to react. He thought over every word of the conversation, each expression, and gesture, trying to find anything he may have done to destroy the one chance he had of strengthening his friendship with the negativeside. Without the observational skills of the other though, he was at a complete loss, but he did know in one way or another the blame was on him. “Virge, I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but I didn’t mean anything by what I said. I was just glad you liked the movie.” He paused, but his colleague didn’t look up, “I’ve always enjoyed musicals, and I wanted you and the others to enjoy them too.” He cast his own gaze in the direction of the television, “I had hoped I’d finally stumbled onto something we had in common…but I guess not.” He did his best to push away the disappointment that threatened to choke him, “anyway, I’m sorry I bothered you.”

The Prince got to his feet, ready to leave Anxiety to his thoughts, but the voice of the latter brought him to a halt, “I do enjoy musicals…but do you understand why I never told anyone that?” The whimsicalaspect turned back to the speaker, and was taken aback by the faint glimmer of hurt in his eyes. Racking his mind for an answer to the question that had been asked of him, he was only able to shake his head, perfectly aware that he was just as blind to the reason as he had been to his own shadow. The younger of the two apparently picked up on his bewilderment, “I’ll give you a hint, musicals aren’t the first thing we've had in common.” He stopped, and for a moment the creativefacet didn’t think he was going to continue, “you’ll have to think back pretty far…before you even knew my name.”

The hint did little to aid Roman in recalling the memory that was being alluded to, as far as he knew; there had been nothing they shared when his friend went by the alias of Anxiety. Slowly, understanding began to sink in however, and as he came to the revelation, it was all he could do to stifle a physical reaction. The visionarycharacter felt like the moron Logic always claimed him to be; the answer was a simple topic that could have been used to help months in advance to mend the rift with the one sitting before him. Instead he had chosen to mock and berate his enemy-turned-ally, and it was no wonder the negativefigment feared the same reaction presently, “oh god…how could I have let myself forget that?”

As he trailed off the darkerside managed to find his tongue, “don’t beat yourself up too much Sir Sing-A-Lot, my attitude and sharp remarks weren’t exactly a friendly gesture.”

The imaginativetrait couldn’t believe what he was hearing, the other had been the one to take the blow, to feel the pain of their previous conversation, and yet, he was willing to shift at least part of the blame to himself. “I literally laughed in your face when you told me you were a Disney fan.” He placed his head in his hands at the recollection, “if you had said that to me…I hate to say it, but I probably would have come after you like the dragon-witch.” Princey was in no way proud of how he had acted, but he was royalty, and to anyone with a drop of royal-blood in them, it was necessary for them to own up to their mistakes, and have the integrity to try and amend them. As he sat back down, he came to the realization he had faltered at that post until now, always too self-aggrandized to admit he was wrong.

Virgil actually sounded genuinely amused, “with some of what I said, and the way I phrased it, I’m amazed you didn’t come after me with a sword.”

“I lashed out at you first, even having the gall to accuse you of an action that I was also guilty of. I had always assumed you were acting to some extent, with self-defense in that video, but that in no way excuses me.” He paused, running his hands down his face and letting them land in his lap, “you felt singled out, and I only served to make that worse…always served to make that worse.”Roman probably resembled the one he spoke to more than himself with the way his shoulders were hunched forwards, “hell…in the end, you were the one who ended up being the bigger person.”

He didn’t miss the confusion in the glance he was given by the apprehensivefacet, “what are you talking about?All I did was try and disprove every point you made.”

The fancifulaspect looked over to the one he had wronged for so many years, “sure, but after Thomas tried to help us come to an agreement, it was you who claimed, ‘I never said Princey was wrong.’ After that however, I still chose to take another stab, and insult you again as we synced out.”

Anxietygave a disgruntled sigh, but he had a feeling that his negatively-perceivedcounterpart was angry with himself, “at the time no one, including you, had any idea that I didn’t want to be an outcast.” He looked over to the steps, where he would sit were they in the real world, but his gaze glittered with disinterest, “that was only the third video I had shown up in. Back then I tried work against you all, to be the antagonist, and I wore the title like a badge of honor.” He let his gaze fall to the floor, “it wasn’t until I saw what I could be…who I could be, that I realized I didn’t want to be the bad guy. I hate to even say this, but even after you all had accepted me, I didn’t really believe I was part of the group until Deceit came in, and it was then that I noticed just what I had done, and how far I had come since my introduction…”

Roman blinked in shock, amazed that he was the one the fight-or-flight reflex had chosen to share such a meaningful truth with, and he had no idea how to repay the favor. “Whether we knew that or not…whether I knew that or not, what I did was wrong, and utterly unfair to you. No matter what you said to me, I should have had the courage to be at the very least accepting, if not kind, even to someone who could have been considered an enemy…and for that I apologize.”

Virgil had to admit, the last thing he had expected from a conversation pertaining to a musical was an apology from someone he used to despise. “There’s not really anything for you to apologize for, over the last few months I’ve forgiven all of you for anything you may have said against, or misconceptions you may have had of me.” After that sappy line, the one thing he wanted was to get out from under the look of sympathy that had been placed upon him, “You were right though, I do like Les Mis, and yes I have seen it before…multiple times actually.”

The look of joy that crossed the expression of the whimsicalside actually startled him, but it was what he said next that really took him by surprise, “I never would have thought that you would like musicals.”

“What do you mean?” The observanttrait wasn’t sure what his colleague was getting at, but since the conversation hadn’t devolved into an argument yet, he was willing to see what it was leading up to.

The Prince beamed, looking from him to the television and back again, “I live and breathe musicals, whether they are stage-productions, or full-length films, whether I’m in them or not. I’ve always had a passion for them, and I’ve done my best in the past to get you guys to see that as well, that’s actually why I started the movie nights in the first place. That being said, though I mean no offence in saying this, it seems like I am the only one who is able to look past the plot and see the beauty that the music and cinematography holds.” He paused, glancing at the floor, “did any of that make sense to you?”

The darker of the two chuckled, “I think I get what you're trying to say, despite the fact that we have seen the movies, we don’t appreciate the smaller details like you do.” He tried to come up with an analogy that would help him get his point across, “have you ever seen Sherlock?” His friend nodded, allowing for him to continue, “there is a quote from the first episode that sums up your struggle pretty well, ‘you see but you do not observe.’”

“Yes!” The enthusiastic response caused him to jump, but he quickly regained his composure as the other explained further. “I’ve tried desperately to get you all to ‘observe’ the films, but nothing has worked thus far.”

As he came to a halt the negativeaspect could almost feel the pain his companion was in, “you know Sir Sing-A-Lot, you may not have been the one to introduce me to them, but I enjoy musicals far more than you think I do, I just never said so. The actual reason I joined you all tonight wasn’t because you pestered me, I just used that as an excuse. The truth is Les Mis is one of my favorite movies, and because I didn’t want anyone knowing how much I liked it, I knew it would be a long time before I would get another chance to watch it…and I didn’t want to pass up the opportunity.”

Roman looked at him in awe, “Wait are you saying what I think you're saying?”

“Yes, I love musicals just as much as you do, the acting, the characters, the score, the lighting and sound, the costumes, and so on; I’m just not as vocal about it as you are.” He allowed the other a moment to take in what he had said before continuing, “just like your shadow on the wall earlier, I pick up on the smallest of things, and in the case of musicals and movies, I actually like having that capability. It’s just like you said, it’s extremely enjoyable to look past the plot and appreciate the work and effort that it took to make the production as beautiful as it is.”

The creativefacet looked for a moment like he was at a loss for words, but the glimmer of elation, and to some extent relief in his eyes betrayed how happy he really was. “Y-You actually do love musicals the way I do, you understand!”

“Of course I do,” Anxiety honestly felt a little guilty that he had said nothing to his counterpart on the subject in the past. “I had my reasons for saying nothing, but now knowing your reaction, I wish I had told you what I thought sooner. I honestly didn’t know it bothered you so much that you believed no one truly saw what you saw in these productions; again, I would have said something sooner if I had.”

“I’m just glad someone else gets it, I was afraid that I would never get it though to any of you, and I would be forced to care so deeply for these films alone.” He suddenly took on a look of concern, “hold on, it is unfair that I can enjoy these musicals whenever I so please, and yet you have to as you said, ‘wait for the opportunity’ to watch them.” He was going to respond but the visionarycharacter beat him to it, “I understand that you may not want the others to know that you like these movies…but now that I know, we may be able to work something out. At the very least I could loan you my DVDs whenever you want, but watching with a friend is much more fun.” He looked at the ground, clearly trying to come up with some sort of idea to solve their current dilemma, “I know, we can use my dream-space! It would be safe for both of us to enter without fear of corruption, and let’s be honest; did anyone expect me not to have a screening room in there? We could watch the films there, allowing for you to watch them without having the others be any the wiser!”

Virgil couldn’t believe what he was hearing, someone he had clashed with for so long now offering to share something he cherished so deeply with him, “you know what, I might just take you up on that offer. It’s about time we actually started beingfriends as opposed to just acting like we are around the others.”

Princey seemed to light up at his agreeance, but there was more to it than just the confession that he enjoyed musicals, “I think you're right. We’ve accepted one another, but outside of activities that the other two partake in, we haven’t really acted like friends, we should change that.”

“Agreed,”the younger of the two genuinely smiled, “it has been a long time since I’ve seen any musicals; so, where do you think we should start?”

He looked like he had just been asked again to choose his favorite Disney movie, “okay…well, Fiddler on the Roof is brilliant. Oh, then there’s My Fair Lady, and we can’t forget Carousel or Phantom of the Opera, but then there’s The Music Man, and I haven’t even gotten to Disney yet!” Apparently he realized he was rambling, because he came to a halt, “I know, let’s go classic and watch The Wizard of Oz!”

“I’m game.”

Over time the others did find out about Virgil’s love of musicals, but no one mocked him, and even reacted to his fear in the same way that Roman did, and he even started joining the movie nights as much as Patton. The best part however was that he and the imaginative side actually did end up bonding over the shared interest, watching the films, and discussing what they liked and disliked about each one. They even matured to the point that they could disagree on a particular musical and not become angry over the topic, overall strengthening their friendship. After a time they found other things they had in common with one another that didn’t have anything to do with films, and started talking as friends would even without the pressure of the others forcing them to interact.Anxiety had to admit being on better terms with the Prince made it easier for him to be with his family at all, and empowered him to stand up for them when the need arose.

-----

Tag List (Let Me Know If You Want To Be Added):

@a-snoway-afternoon

@jay-wants-to-be-a-paladin

@julia6181

@lovelyyoonglebear

@lucifer-in-my-head

@opalwings915

@wewillsurvivethistoo

@the-psycho-pie

@unikornavenger

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lovemesomesurveys · 6 years

Text

Have you ever had a bonfire on the beach? No, but I’ve always wanted to.

Are you skilled when it comes to working in the kitchen? Nope.

When was the last time you went to a campground? I’ve only been once when I was about 5.

Do you listen to music while driving? Of course. Is there a movie you currently want to see? I just saw the trailer for A Simple Favor and that looks really good. I’m always down for a psychological thriller. Also, the new Halloween movie is coming out soooon.

When was the last time you hung out with people younger than you? I hang out with my younger bro a lot. What is the closest blue object to you? There’s blue on my water bottle label.

How much did you spend on your last shopping trip? I think about $30.

Do you wish you had a better cellular plan? No, the one we have is good.

Are you good at buying gifts for people? Certain people it’s really easy and then for others I have a little more trouble.

Would you consider yourself to be generous? I feel like I used to be.

Have you ever received an autograph from a celebrity? Yes.

When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? It’s been a long time since I’ve laughed that hard.

Are you currently studying for your driver’s license? Nope.

Have you ever gone over your cellphone plan by accident? We have unlimited.

Are you in a relationship with the last person you kissed? Nopeee.

Ever done something that at the time didn’t bother you, but it did later? Yes.

Can you honestly say you’ve been drunk before? A few times.

Where did you get your last bruise from? I don’t recall.

Is there a certain color of eyeshadow you prefer, if you wear eyeshadow? I haven’t worn it in so long. I used to like nudes and some colors. Nothing too crazy.

Have you ever been addicted to mints? No.

Are you a person that likes to take chances? No.

Would you consider your life to be great right now? No.

When a friend confides in you with their problems, do you listen? Yes.

Do you have a piece of technology that should be dead, but it’s still going? Hmm. My current phone and laptop aren’t that old.

When it rains, does it put the damper on your mood? I love the rain.

What was the latest you stayed up in the past week? Like 3ish. I haven’t been staying up that late lately.

Have you had an awkward situation with someone recently? No.

Do you always seem to be losing your bobbypins? That always happens and I don’t understand where they disappear to.

When was the last time you found something overwhelming? Oh ya know. Just life.

Going anywhere next year for vacation? We don’t have any plans as of now.

Ever sent drunk texts? Nah.

Do you remember the dream you had last night? No.

How many dresses do you own? I’d say about 5.

Do any of your friends seem like a brother or sister to you? No.

What bothers you more, cigarette smoke or cigar smoke? Blechhh, both. I can’t be around it, it gives me a bad headache and I feel lightheaded.

What do you think of Leonardo DiCaprio? Good actor.

Have you ever seen a movie that messed with your mind? Yes.

Do you look good in hats? Meh. I like beanies better.

Can you see a noticeable difference between DVD and Blueray? I’ve never really compared or took notice.

Is there a song you’re currently listening to on repeat? No.

Are you going to make a mega wish at 11:11 on 11/11/11? Well it’s 2018 now, so. Also, I don’t wish on 11:11 anyway.

Speaking of numbers, do you have a lucky one? No, but my favorite number is 8.

What do you think musical artists who use autotune? I don’t care.

Have you ever held hands with someone for no reason? I hold my pups hand just cause.

Has anything surprised you today? Not so far.

When was the last time you played a video game? Last year.

Have you ever just watched flames from a fire & just thought about things? Yes.

Are there any musical albums coming out soon that you can’t wait for? No.

Have you talked to your significant other today? I’m single.

Have you ever sat down and eaten an entire cake by yourself? Nooo. I like cake, but I can barely finish a piece.

Do you have perfect vision? Nope, hence why I wear glasses.

Is there something you want to buy right now? I’m already thinking about lunch.

Do you know anyone who can speak Gaelic? No.

When it comes to eye color, do you have a preference? I wouldn’t say a preference, but I think blue and green are really pretty.

What was the most unique pet you’ve owned? I’ve just owned the usual kinds, dogs, fish, and a couple of hamsters.

Is your hair currently dyed? Yep.

Has something annoyed you recently? Yeah.

Do you like Doritos? I do.

When you buy clothes, do you always try them on first? Nope. I’m too lazy. I very rarely have an issue; though, so it’s fine.

Have you used bugspray recently? Yeah, when we went to the beach last week.

Do you enjoy swimming in the ocean? No, but I love being close to it and watching/listening to the waves crash in. I’ve gone to the beach a couple times recently and the time I spent doing that was just so relaxing.

Have you ever bitten through your lip by accident? Oh yes. Not fun.

Are you good at coming up with dares? I always sucked at that.

Do you know someone with the last name Brown? No.

Is there somewhere in the world you would never go? Yeah.

Have you ever tried to sew or knit anything? Nope.

Has someone ever told you something that left you speechless? Yes.

Has something ever happened to you that seemed like it was from a movie? I kind of felt like what happened between Ty and I was like one.

Do you find yourself to be a believer in love at first sight? No.

Or perhaps, do you believe that there’s that “someone” out there for you? I don’t feel like there is.

Does money really matter to you? I mean, yeah.

Is there something you want to do, that you swear you will, no matter what? Not that I can think of. I mean yeah there’s things I want to do, but I’m not like “I swear I will no matter what!”

Do you know anyone who is a germaphobe? Yes. I kind of am as well with some things.

Have you ever just laid out and watched the stars? No.

Is there a song that gets you pumped up no matter what? I suppose so.

How about a song that soothes your anger or sadness? I wouldn’t say they soothe my anger or sadness, but I like listening to certain songs when in those moods.

Have you ever cheated at a card game? Nah.

Tell me what colors you’re wearing right now? Mustard yellow with maroon red on the sleeve cuffs and collar and black sweatpants.

Have you ever wandered around drunk with your friend? Yeah.

Are you longing for the day that you’ll be an adult? (If you’re not already) I’m almost 30. I never longed for the day I’d be an adult and I still keep wishing I’d stop. This adult stuff is not for me.

Have you ever felt like your heart actually stopped? Yes.

Are you a fast runner? I’m no runner.

What’s something you’ve vowed to never eat? I’m very picky, so.

What emotions do you associate with the color blue? Sadness.

Do you have a “poker face”? I guess.

Are you good at holding back your laughter if needed? There’s been times where it was a real struggle lol.

Do any of your friends shamelessly burp or fart in public? Noo.

When was the last time you had a good cry? I cry a lot.

Has anyone ever told you they wanted to marry you? I just got a random message from someone who said that lmao.

Is there a soundtrack to a movie that you absolutely love? Hmm.

Do you have a place where you keep your keepsakes? Various places.

Have you ever had a “thumb war” with someone? Yep.

What’s your favorite style of jeans? (Skinny, boot cut, flare, etc) Skinny.

Have you ever owned a diary/journal with a lock and key? Yes.

Do you have trouble sleeping if you sleep anywhere else but home? I just have trouble sleeping regardless. I do get up earlier; though, when I’m not at home.

Have you ever been so unfortunate to suffer from a hangover? Ugh, yes.

Do any of your friends have particularly annoying habits? Everyone has ‘em.

Is there someone you know who can never mind their own business? Yes.

If you need a job, will you take whatever you can get? I’m not able to work right now.

When you were little, what movie did you watch over and over? Disney movies.

Do you rely on caffeine to keep you awake sometimes? It takes the edge off in the morning but doesn’t have much of a jolting effect anymore. <<< Same.

When it comes to tests or exams, are you a crammer? I always was.

Time goes by faster as you get older, don’t you find? Yes.

Have you ever had a panic attack? Yes.

Do you own anything made of silk? Nope.

Is there anyone you know who looks like their dog? lol no. I’ve seen pictures of people who look like their dogs, though.

Are you deathly allergic to anything? No.

Have you ever had a mouse in your house? UGH yes. So gross.

Has anyone you trusted ever backstabbed you? Yeah.

Do you recycle? Yes.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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mattthevicar · 5 years

Text

Week 3: Luke Ch3 – Ch9 – Part A: Jesus lays out His plan for a NEW world

This week we begin a two-part look into how Jesus lays out His plan for a NEW world. Part A look at Jesus’ Baptism and early ministry (Ch3-Ch5), and Part B will look at Jesus’ agenda and how God confirms the mission of His Son (Ch6-Ch9).

I’ll use the same format as I did last week, where there is the “Main material” – which carries the key theme, the reading the text itself (very important), watching some videos, and then some key questions to encourage spiritual reflection.

Look out though also for the “Support material” – this is a walk ‘scene by scene’ through the text itself pausing to explore key points along the way. It really helps get inside the richness of Luke’s account and in deeper touch with the person of Jesus. You don’t have to do all this material in one go. Do it a bit each day over a number of days. It will pay a great reward.

Enjoy.

Matt

Main Material:

Introduction:

Let’s begin by watching a really helpful overview video of the whole section (Luke Ch3 -Ch 9) from the Bible Project. It helps to focus and set the scene:

youtube

The Key Point to pick up on as we think about Jesus’ plan:

Now, Jesus has grown up and become a ‘man on a mission.’ He sets about achieving three things:

Firstly, Jesus is setting out to fulfil Israel’s original calling from God (Genesis Ch12), “to be the salt, the light, the yeast, the blessing of God for the world,” something that Israel, sadly, had been unable to fulfil. But here is Jesus setting out to achieve the unachievable. And, as we shall see, He does do it, albeit by a means and a way that turns the ways of the world upside down.

Secondly, Jesus places ‘healing’ and ‘wholeness’ – of Body, Mind and Spirit (the Jewish word for which is ‘Shalom’) right at the very heart of His message both for the individual and for the world. He calls this ‘healed’ and ‘whole’ Creation - “God’s Kingdom,” and it’s a Kingdom that is inclusive and is life changing for all. (So, a bit later, we are going to have to look at something of what we understand “healing” and Jesus’ ‘healing’ miracles to be all about, because they can be pretty seriously misunderstood.)

And thirdly, going to the very centre of this life-changing and ‘healing’ experience is the profound claim that God’s words to Jesus at His baptism are in fact true for all people and for all Creation for all time: “you are my beloved son/my beloved daughter/my beloved Creation and world; with you I am well pleased.” (Luke Ch3 vs22)

A big vision, a big plan, and next up we need to examine two core characteristics as to how Jesus intends to achieve things.

Two core characteristics to help us understand how God goes about creating a NEW world:

1. Firstly, He creates from the inside out, rather than the outside in – through healing and love, rather than power and force.

We’ll see this played out time and time again like a golden thread and is central to Luke’s way of understanding both Jesus and the character of God.

Again and again Jesus’ nature is to come alongside, to call, inspire, heal and help us to wonder. Through His compassion and love He gives us worth, value and dignity. He restores our belief in humanity and gives us hope that love, not power is eternal and worth following in this world.

The symbol for this way of living and loving has always been the Cross, not just something then that happens to Jesus at the end of the Gospel, but instead, like the lettering of a seaside stick of rock, something that goes through every inch and millimetre of the heart of God and of His love for the world.

2. Second, He calls and welcomes everyone – but this comes with a challenge.

Time and again it seems to be those at the margins, those who didn’t think they mattered – the ‘poor,’ the outcast, the socially excluded, the marginalised who get Jesus and what He is about.*

Whereas, those who you would think would understand Him, the religious people, the priests, the Pharisees, the Teachers of the Law, those who upheld the establishment, they don’t get Him at all. To them Jesus is at best awkward, at worst a threat, someone who challenges their way of life and the status quo.

There is a phrase that I once was told, “Jesus came to comfort the disturbed, and to disturb the comfortable.” Notice how this works out again and again in the coming stories and how it will be the so-called ‘good’ people who will be the ones who have most to lose and who will shout Jesus down the most.

*N.B. From a Bible point of view the character of Mary Magdalene acts as a sort of icon for those on the margins. Traditionally thought of as someone who either had mental health issues, and often cast as a prostitute, more recently feminist historians and film makers have portrayed her as a woman who was labelled in this way by her community simply because she was someone who knew her own mind and broke the mould of stepping out as a woman into what, at the time, was considered to be a male only world – following a wandering first century Jewish preacher out on the road. Is it indeed this that Jesus saw in her and so invited her to be one of His closest disciples? Check out the film “Mary Magdalene” (2018 – out on DVD) and the film trailer below:

youtube

Reading the Bible:

Now, we need to read the story for itself. Let us read through Luke Ch 3 to Ch 5.

Try not to skip this section if you can, it’s important.

(Further background information and thoughts can be found in the “Support material” at the end of this week’s blog – it also contains some great videos of the actual sites where Jesus’ plan unfolds – take the time to look them up.

A Christian understanding of “healing” and “wholeness” – the Jewish word “Shalom:”

The idea of “healing” goes to right to the heart of how Luke understands Jesus’ life, ministry and death. Understandably, as he’s often labelled as being a first century physician or doctor.

But what does “healing” actually mean in the Bible? Is it simply “cure, or is it more than that?”

There are whole books and many different answers depending on who you talk to. But a good place to start is actually to look up a key Hebrew word “Shalom.” We often translate it as “peace” but it means so much more than that.

To introduce and help explain something about how rich and powerful a concept it is in Jewish thinking, look up the Bible Project Word study on “Shalom” (see below):

youtube

Spiritual Refection Questions:

We continue with not only trying to understand the Bible and how it works, but also to let the Bible try and ask questions of us. Here are this week’s questions:

Baptism called people to refocus, to re-commit themselves to God and to a new way of being. It goes to the heart of Jesus’ plan for a new world. How do we cope with change? Do we resist it? Embrace it? How about in our spiritual lives? Do we want God, but on our terms? What would it look like to live for God but on His terms? What would it look like to not only be baptised in the body but to begin again in the spirit? (maybe re-read the words of Luke ch3 vs1-22 with these thoughts in mind and hear vs 22 just for you.)

‘Healing’/wholeness goes right to the heart of Luke’s understanding of Jesus’ plan. Maybe imagine being at any one of the vivid healing stories we come across in this week’s Bible reading (the Man in the Synagogue – Luke 4, The Leper or the Paralysed Man – Luke 5) – read the story again, imagine being there. What did it feel like? What comes into your mind when you see someone’s life totally transformed – that they know God’s Shalom to be real?

Based on the first two questions above, faith is not just about believing in in God. It’s also about letting God in to change, shape and ‘heal’ us. What do we hold on to – hurts, pains, memories, that holds us back from letting go? Quiet often it is these things that are just as much in need of ‘healing’ as a broken leg, leprosy, or whatever. They can be like our own familiar and very personal ‘demons.’ What would it be like for Jesus to break in to our lives and seek to take them from us? We can never forget we have had them, and indeed what and who caused them. But what would it be like to watch Jesus being willing to take them to Himself so that we are set free? Try and sit with anything that comes to mind, however big or small. And even if you can’t offer it up, even in part today, maybe pray that as part of this journey one day we will be willing to give it up, to Him.

Music Video:

To finish off this “Main material” for this week’s session – check out the Rend Collective song (Live form Belfast) “I will be Undignified.” For anything that you’ve thought about as you’ve shared this session with God, for anything that you would long to be set free from that holds you back, for just the permission to turn up the volume, tap your finger or your foot, or dance around the kitchen – Enjoy:

youtube

Why not check out the Additional “Support” material HERE – as well as thoughts about key passages, there are various videos from key locations – Jesus’ baptism site, Nazareth Village, and Capernaum (where Jesus based His ministry). Well worth watching!

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queen-of-deans-booty · 7 years

Text

Hell House- Part 4

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,019

Warnings: Typical Supernatural violence, angst, language, minor character death, blood, you know the usual

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Please, if you want to be tagged for this series, let me know and I’ll add you! If you want to be tagged for my other fics, I’ll add you! I want to hear what you guys think about this. If you want something requested, send it in!

Feedback is always appreciated

Tags at the bottom

Read the backstory here:

Smoking Pot with Dean

It didn’t take long for the Winchesters to get ready. So, you were at the closest eating house in no time.

“There you go.” You smiled and grabbed the coffees that the woman handed you.

“Thank you.” You handed a coffee to Sam and one to Dean before going over to the table that displayed all the condiments and grabbed a couple of sugar packets. You looked over at Sam to see him grimace, adjusting his pants. Aw, poor Sammy.

“Dude what's your problem?” Dean asked, seeing the same thing you were seeing.

“Nothing, I’m fine.” You knew that was a lie. Sam grabbed a table and sat down, taking out his laptop. Dean caught your eyes and you couldn’t help but smile and shake your head. You sat in between Sam and Dean, pouring the sugar into your coffee.

“So, Sam, tell us more about those Tulpas.”

“Okay, so there was an incident in Tibet in 1915. A group of monks meditated and visualized a golem in their heads. They did that so hard, it appeared out of thin air. Now take that in perspective to now. If 20 monks could do that, imagine what 10,000 people all over the internet could do. I mean, Craig stars a story and it spreads, becoming popular, so people believe in it.” Sam explained.

“Now wait a second. Are you trying to tell me that just because people believe in Mordechai, he's real?” Dean asked, sipping his coffee.

“Maybe.” Sam adjusted his pants once more, looking uncomfortable. You really felt bad for the kid but this was too funny. “But get this…” Sam typed a few things and turned the laptop to face you and his brother. You looked at the symbols that were found in the Hell House.

“That's a Tibetan spirit sigil on the wall of the house. Craig said they were painting symbols from a theology textbook. I bet they painted this, not even knowing what it was. Now this sigil has been around for centuries. So, when people go on the Hell Hounds website, they look at the symbol and think about Mordechai. With 10,000 people doing it, it might bring a Tulpa to life.” Sam explained. He tried to cover the huff that came out of his mouth but you heard. He was getting more and more uncomfortable but he was trying to hide it.

“It would explain why he keeps changing.” You said, looking between both boys.

“As people think different things, the legend changes. It’s like a game of telephone. That would explain why the rock salt didn’t work.” Sam said, adjusting himself again.

“Well, yeah, he’s not a traditional spirit.” You said, sipping your coffee. Sam’s fidgeting increased the more he touched himself.

“Okay, so why don’t we get this thing off the website and off the wall?” Dean asked like it was that simple. But when was it really?

“Well it's not that simple. You see, once Tulpas are created they take on a life of their own.” Sam explained.

“Great. So, if he really is a thought form how the hell are we supposed to kill an idea?” Dean sighed, frustrated.

“It’s not going to be easy with these jokes helping us. Look at their website,” You said, looking at the computer screen. “They’re like those bad paranormal shows you see every once in a while.”

“Since they've posted the video their number of hits have quadrupled in the last day alone.” Sam said.

“I got an idea, come on.” Dean got up, grabbing his coffee. Sam immediately closed his laptop and put it away.

“Where are we going?” Sam asked. You learned not to question Dean when he “had an idea”. It went well or went south and you rather not know more details when it went south.

“We need a copy store.” Dean smirked when he saw Sam jiggle and itching himself. You bit your lip hard to keep yourself from laughing.

“Man, I think I'm allergic to our soap or something.” Sam sighed, grabbing his bag. The only thing Dean did was laugh and walk away. You let out a giggle and walked with Dean.

“You did this?” Sam called out to Dean. Dean continued laughing and walked outside.

“You’re a fucking jerk, you know that?” Sam said when he caught up.

“I’m sorry, Sam, I tried to tell him.” You laughed, walking to the Impala.

“Why don’t you prank Y/N sometime?” Sam glared as he adjusted himself again.

“No way, you know what would happen if you do that. I don’t like jokes happening to me. On other people its fucking hilarious but on me? You hit me, I hit back harder and you know what I’m capable of.” You said, getting in the backseat.

“How could I forget that? I had food poisoning for a whole week.” Sam grimaced at the memory.

“Don’t mess with Y/N.” You smirked to yourself.

What Dean wanted from the copy place was not what you were expecting. You knew what you had to do because everyone had a role to play. You ended up at a trailer park and with one look at a certain one, you knew who you three were visiting. Dean walked up to the door and pounded on it. You knew they were home because you heard the talking and a squeal of surprise at the noise but no one answered.

“Come on out here guys, we hear you in there.” Dean said. The door suddenly opened and their heads popped out.

“Ah, would you look at that! Action figures in their original packaging -- what a shock.” You said.

“Guys we need to talk.”

“Yeah, um, sorry guys. We're a little bit busy right now.” Ed said.

“Okay, well, we'll make it quick. We need you to shut down your website.” Dean said sternly.

“Man, you know, these guys got us busted last night and we spent the night in a holding cell...” Ed said as if he was holding a grudge.

“We’re serious, dude.” You said, crossing your arms.

“Why should we trust you guys?” Ed seemed to be doing all the talking. Harry was more on the shy side of thing and you noticed.

“Look guys, we all know what we saw last night, what's in the house. But now thanks to your website there are thousands of people hearing about Mordechai.” Sam tried to reason with them.

“That's right. Which means people are going to keep showing up at the Hell House, running into him in person, somebody could get hurt.” Dean added. Ed didn’t seem to care what the Winchesters were saying but Harry did.

“Ed maybe he's got a point…” Harry said, trying to do the right thing here.

“Nope.” Ed cut him off with a shake of his head. You glared at Ed because who did he think he was, bossing around his friend? Harry, on the other hand, shrunk and listened to his friend.

“We have an obligation to our fans, to the truth.” Ed said proudly.

“Well I have an obligation to kick both your little asses right now…” You stepped up to do a little harm but Dean held you back.

“Sweetheart, hey, just forget about it. You could bitch slap them both or you could tell them that thing about Mordechai but they’re still not going to help us. Let’s just go.” Dean pulled you along with him and Sam sighed, following his brother.

“Wait, wait, what is that thing about Mordechai?” Harry asked, interested in change of topic.

“Don't tell them Sam.” Dean said, looking at his brother seriously.

“But if they agree to shut the website down Dean…” Sam tried to convince his brother.

“They're not going to do it, you said so yourself.” Dean scoffed, letting you go.

“No wait. Wait. Don't listen to him ok? We'll do it. We'll do it.” Ed pleaded. You knew they wouldn’t but it was worth a shot to try.

“Look, it is a really big deal and it wasn't easy to dig up. So only if we have your word that you'll shut everything down.” Sam said.

“Totally.” Ed said with a smile. Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, handing it to Harry.

“It's a death certificate from the '30s. We got it at the library. Now according to the coroner, the actual cause of death was a self-inflicted gunshot wound.” You explained, loving how they were buying right into this.

“He shot himself?” Ed asked, surprised.

“With a .45 pistol. To this day they say he's terrified of them.” Sam said.

“Matter of fact they say if you shoot him with a .45, loaded with these special wrought-iron rounds -- it'll kill the son of a bitch.” Ed and Harry took a glance at one another and they sniggered gleefully. Harry spun around and raced back to their trailer but before Ed could, you stopped him.

“I don’t ever want to see you boss around your friend like that. He is your partner, not a dog. I’m really not afraid to kick your little ass.” Ed nodded and gulped. He walked away from you and into his trailer.

“Great, what should we do in the meantime?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know about you boys but I’m starving.” Dean seemed to agree and Sam only agreed because he had nowhere else to go. Dean took you and his brother to the nearest café, getting a booth by a really annoying wall art.

Sam had ordered a salad with a beer, Dean ordered what he usually ordered with a beer and you got what Dean had. You had an appetite and salads wouldn’t satisfy you as much as a burger would. You ate your burger, moaning softly in appreciation while Sam was on his laptop, picking at his salad.

Dean reached up to the 3d artwork of a fisherman holding a big fish and pulled on its cord. The fisherman’s mouth opened and closed, letting out an extremely annoying laugh. Dean’s been playing that ting ever since you got there. Sam reached up and pulled on the cord to make it stop.

“If you pull that string one more time I'm going to kill you.” Dean stared at his brother with a dead look and pulled the cord once more. Sam immediately stopped it and glared at him. You smiled, not wishing you had a sibling. Dean started snickering when he knew he pushed his brother’s buttons.

“Come on man, you need more laughter in your life. You know you're way too tense.”

“Yeah, Sam, where is that dimpled smile?” You teased him. Sam gave you both a dirty look and Dean sighed.

“Fine, they post it yet?” Sam moved the laptop so it faced you and Dean, stabbing at his salad angrily before eating it.

“We've learned from reputable sources that Mordechai Murdoch has a fatal fear of firearms,” You read from the computer. “Alright. How long do we wait?”

“Long enough for the new story to spread, and the legend to change. I figure by nightfall iron rounds will work on the sucker.” Sam lifted his beer and held it out to you and Dean. You clinked your glass to his, Dean doing the same. You took a sip but looked at Dean when he went to put the bottle down.

It was like the bottle was stuck to his hand because Dean couldn’t let go of it. Sam started cracking up and you knew he had something to do with this.

“You didn’t.” Dean said, not believing his eyes. Sam laughed even harder and held up a small tube of super glue. His dimples were very clear and deep. He was really happy.

“Oh, I did.” Dean shook his hand again and Sam pulled on the cord of the annoying fisherman.

“You did tell him to smile more.” You nudged Dean who was pouting. You laughed a bit and ate your food, happy that this case could bring some fun memories from the three of you.

Masterlist // Series Rewrite Masterlist // Buy me a Coffee?

Series Rewrite tags:

@helllonearth @amyisabellal @deanwnchstr @caseykitten6 @roxalya19 @quixoticcat @supernaturalblogging @notmoose45 @crowleysminion @mina22

Forever tags:

@that-annoying-band-potato @maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith @mogaruke @whit85-blog @inlovewithbja @spn67-sister @kdfrqqg @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @roxyspearing @supercalifragilistic26 @mishamigose

Dean tags:

@akshi8278 @mega-mrs-dean-winchester @winchesterandpie

Other tags:

@jensen-jarpad @notnaturalanahi @deathtonormalcy56 @27bmm

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landy-amor · 5 years

Text

Let’s start on a lighter note. My name is big and bold on the top of the page, so those who know me will probably know of whoever I decide to talk about. Even so, I will not post names. Outside of that, I will be as honest as possible.

Lighter note = what I now call “my worst heartbreak”.

Disclaimer* (just to not sound like an ardida): I have talked things out with one of the people involved in this tragedy. This helped a lot with putting my heart and mind at ease. My feelings toward the other person have eased up, and although it was indeed an awful experience, I am not angry anymore. I am using this blog as an outlet and sharing my personal experiences with no intent to harm anyone. If anyone who thinks I am talking about them feels like I am not being honest, you are more than welcome to share your side of the story.

Let’s take a step back to ~2004, my third grade math class. I don’t quite remember how I first met this person. I only know my first memory of us. I had a book that I was loving. For whatever reason, this person (which I’ll refer to as A) had my book at a moment she was not supposed to. Therefore, our math teacher took it away and said something about asking for it back after class. I got my book back or whatever. Fast forward to my next memory being fifth grade. I was an elementary kid beginning my lust for boys. Of course, I’ve only had two boyfriends in my entire life, and anyone who says otherwise is a psycho /.\ So in fifth grade, A mentioned her liking this boy. I don’t know if she ever told him, but I feel like she probably did not. During the end of the year festivities, someone told me that same boy liked me and was going to ask me out. {This is the earliest I remember that after hearing a boy likes me, I magically like them back.} So yeah, I liked that same boy A said she liked.

Blah blah, fast forward to ¡middle school! This is when A and I really began to grow close imo. Sixth grade, we joined drama club and band. Drama club was after school, and I was only able to join because she could be my ride home. Looking back, this is when I first connected my ability to participate in things with her desire to. Drama club helped me a lot with my shyness. At least I’d like to think so. We were able to learn improv and experience school plays. I believe this is when we began to hang out outside of school. I might be remembering wrong, but I think I would go over to her house most of the time. She went to mine at the time maybe a couple of times because I lived with my aunts and uncles in a trailer too small for so many people. Anyway, we grew very close over Just Dance on her wii, calls to Cody Simpson’s fan voicemail, and talking about whoever I liked at the time. This went on for 2 years until I moved and entered eighth grade at a different school. The summer I moved, my biggest concern was whether or not we would see each other as often. I knew our friendship could never end. I moved only like 10 minutes away, but A did not really visit. Instead, the other main person of this story visited and grew closer to me. She will be referred to as B.

B and I met in sixth grade. We were in the same social studies class. I don’t remember how we began talking, but Facebook probably had a lot to do with it. The summer that I moved, B came over a lot. We bonded over crazy singing and joking around in my room making videos to post of Facebook. We had a sort of awkward but goofy friendship. It slowly but surely kept growing since that summer.

That year felt like it would be tough. Adjusting to a new school where I would be with people I had heard of but hadn’t met before sounded awful. Being away from my bestest friend sounded worse. I even started making video diaries for A, but they didn’t really get a response. Or the response I was looking for. I don’t remember how many times A and I actually hung out during that year, but we definitely grew a little apart.

HIGH SCHOOL STARTED. I don’t remember much about nineth grade other than I continued to be a nerd with no breaks. Keep in mind, all these years I went around meeting people and telling them about my bff A. OH YEAH my quinceañera! So before high school began, I was supposed to move to Mexico, and we were not going to plan my quinces until we got there. However, my mom changed her mind after Obama announced DACA (which has had a huge impact & deserves its own post). A and I were hoping we’d go to the same magnet high school, but because I was not planning on starting high school here anymore, I did not apply to magnet. Anyway, preparations for my quinces began. I would like to think I kept her in the loop on everything because her opinion meant so much to me. Sadly, I barely knew anything about hers. I was just asked to be a madrina, and I showed up. For mine, she was my dama and all that. I’m not sure if the differences in involvement were because we had just grown apart for a year prior. A big moment I remember was on my quinceañera day, I felt like she wasn’t very present. I never knew if anything had actually happened with her that day.

After nineth grade, I moved close to my high school. Here, I lived with only my mom and sisters. These next few years were full of sleep overs, movies, late night stalking, talks about boys I liked, the usual. Me me me. This is a big question mark for me. Why was it always about my stuff? Did I talk a lot? Was I too self-absorbed?? Or did she just not want to talk about herself??? During these same years, B also joined into our friendship and became my second BFF.

Let’s break down our friendship dynamic now. A, B and I were bffs. I was closest to A though. And somehow, I felt like A and B were closer than B and I. A also had another super bff that was just a friend to B and I. A also had another close friend who B and I were also friends with. This friendship dynamic got confusing various times for me. It also made me very self conscious of my friendship with A because I felt like she was my main bff while she had several. I felt disposable many times.

I would say senior year of high school was the best year of our lives together. A, B and I ruled the world. I trusted them with absolutely everything. My mom and sisters had also grown a loving and trusting relationship with both of them. Although this last year of high school was our best because we could drive and go out more, there were various times where I didn’t know what was going on in A’s life. Although I told A and B literally everything to do with me, it was hard to hear news from A. The last two years of HS, she was involved in extracurriculars that kept her busy and cut our hanging out time, which is fine. I’ve had a problem with expecting the same effort from others as I make with them. Senior year, I was a part of a lot of clubs, and I even invited A and B to join one at my school to increase our time together. Anyway, senior year was going by, and we had many great times together. I met my bb, broke up, met another boy who everyone in my new club-family liked, didn’t work out, began to build my current relationship, and A and B walked every step with me.

During this same year, A and I worked together. Towards the end of the school year, we took a trip with this job. A and I roomed with 2 other girls who we loved. However, A and I were supposed to be this pair of bffs who were the closest ever. Sadly, I felt avoided this whole trip. This wasn’t anything new, though. I experienced this same feeling with A several times before: when I went out of town with her family and on a middle school band trip. I don’t know how to describe the feeling other than avoidant and absent.

Continuing, the end of senior year was approaching. Prom came, and with it, came its own mess. That mess I will keep private. Regardless, it was a mess not very noticeable, and we all had a blast. College visits also came, and A, B and I went together to the one we’d be attending together that fall. Unfortunately, it didn’t turn out this way. Graduations came, and we each had separate ones. I wasn’t able to see A’s because I was in line to walk onto the field while she was walking. B saw her walk, and A and B rushed over to mine right after (which I’m deeply grateful for). The next day, A and I watched B graduate. High school had ended.

The summer after high school graduation was the beginning of the end. A was again very distant and hard to reach. Right after graduation, I moved once again. This time, I moved about 4 streets, ~2 minute drive from A. However, no help was offered from either A or B. No visiting was suggested right after we had settled in. I hadn’t seen A in a while, until one day, A and her sister were visiting my neighbor. Yes, the person right next door to me. Apparently, I was one house too far from visiting potential. Through out that summer, B and I tried getting all 3 of us to hang out several times. A was unavailable. She was mysteriously free to hang out with B whenever I couldn’t or just did not mention it to me. AGAIN, this is my experience. I did run it all through B, and not many changes were pointed out. As I mentioned, the 3 of us were unable to start college together that fall. I began school terrified and anxious because I didn’t have the two people I counted on to explore this new territory. Of course I wanted to see them as soon as I could whenever I could during that start of the semester. Sadly, it didn’t go that way. I felt alone. I felt disappointed. I felt hurt. So yes, I broke up with A. We didn’t communicate as much. We never saw each other. And I felt like I was the only one trying. I didn’t want to carry us anymore. Then, I broke up with B because she didn’t see anything wrong with what was going on. (I can now say this one was a bad reason to leave someone.)

For the next year, I questioned my decisions daily. I regretted them several times. I reached out once or twice when I didn’t feel okay. (No help really came from it.) I had trust issues for a year, really bad trust issues. I couldn’t connect with anyone new. I didn’t know how to make a new friend or try to make a new best friend. I vented in the middle of the lunch area to two guys who thought I was crazy. “Why can’t you just knock on her door and confront her?” one said. Hello??? Do you not know girls? I talked things out with my first close buddy who helped me trust again whether she knew it or not. I healed slowly. Then, I found out things I did not know existed about A. These I will also keep private, but my point is, I did not know A like I thought I did for so many years.

The questions I was leading up to are here now: were we doomed from the start? I mean from when I liked the same guy she said she liked. Were the signs there all along? like when she was distant. Was it my fault for making our friendship all about me? Or was it her fault for not bringing herself into our friendship? Was it no one’s fault but miscommunication?

What did I do wrong? What did I do wrong? What did I do wrong? I asked myself this over and over many times when we first broke up. Why did she not try anymore? This was the W O R S T heartbreak I had ever felt. Now it made sense.

I have heard other people’s theories on why things happened. I will not know the why or the who. However, I did take some good things out of this heartbreak.

independence: I learnt how to try things because I wanted to, not because A also wanted to.

renewed trust: I let new people into my heart. I made new close friends I don’t think I would have if my bowl of friendship was filled by mostly one person.

discovery: I opened my eyes to what I already had around me. My first best friend, my first jump to begin a friendship, my first bold friend. All three became my new best friends. My true friends. My honest friends. My adulting friends. My life partners.

love: I may have gotten to this without this experience, but it would have taken me a lot longer. I used to be a “friends are more valuable than boyfriends” gal. Now, I’m a “who has been more valuable to me” gal. During this break up, I leaned on my boyfriend a loooot. He became my best friend quickly. Because of that, I found my true feelings for him much easier.

What a rollercoaster. And that was only one topic....

#new #journal #dear diary #entry #blog #friends #friendship

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