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strawbeerossi · 8 months

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Friends Like You

Pairing: Gender Neutral!Reader x Spencer Reid

Description: After your father relocated to Las Vegas, Nevada, you meet a new face at the school bus stop.

Content/Warnings: Some minor angst with Spencer’s past, bullying mention, some minor violence mentions, Spencer being a little awkward and sweet baby.

Word Count: 1.1K

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New mini series?? Let me know what y’all think!

AN: This should go without saying that it’s an AU where Spencer goes to high school at the appropriate age and not as a preteen! I thought it would be absolutely adorable. I hope you guys like it!

Spencer Reid never saw a day of peace in his life since he was a child. His father was a piece of shit who abandoned him as a child for his own selfish reasons, leaving a child with the burden of caring for his schizophrenic mother.

While he absolutely loved his mother and would do absolutely anything for her, a child shouldn’t have to be tasked with being a parent. While his friends were outside playing, he was sitting with his mother in bed while listening to her read an assortment of novels and other literature.

High school was no easier than his early childhood. On top of caring for Diana, he spent most of his time fighting for his life within those hallways. The popular crowd, his peers, even certain teachers contributed to the anguish. There was no winning for him.

It was a Thursday morning when he was standing at the bus stop, his satchel draped around his slender frame. He had a backpack but after too many times of it being pulled off of him and being hidden or defaced, he chose something he could have around him at all times. Nobody could just pull it off of him without dragging him with it.

He had to figure that out the hard way.

The autumn air added a chill to the air, the crunching of the dead leaves on the ground signaling someone approaching. Typically he kept his head down to ignore the likes of Marcus Frank, Tyler Simpson, and Luke Halpert; three football guys who had a problem with the quiet, more socially awkward male who liked to fade into the background. Instead of being shoved and greeted with various ugly remarks, there was silence. There was the presence of someone beside him, so he let curiosity get the best of him.

What he saw knocked the wind out of him, even more than a punch to the gut from one of the men he dreaded seeing.

You had recently moved to Las Vegas, your father getting a new job opportunity. It was an extremely hard move, one that drained you. The loss of close friends, family, as well as losing everything that you absolutely adored doing back home was something difficult.

Your new house didn’t seem so homely, your neighbors were mostly old people who seemed uptight and had too many issues with the knowledge of a family moving next door. It wasn’t a welcoming city in the slightest so far. School couldn’t be that bad though, right?

Right?

Arriving at the bus stop was about as typical as it was back home, except there was only one person there so far. He was quiet and avoided your gaze, so you already felt like this was a bad start.

‘Maybe I seem unapproachable?’ You thought to yourself. Some people did say that you suffered from a chronic case of resting bitch face, so maybe that was it? You were pulled out of your thoughts when you felt a pair of eyes on you. As your gaze lifted, it wasn’t long until you were facing Spencer. “Hi.”

Your tone was soft, almost quiet enough where Spencer couldn’t hear you. His face was red as he offered a tight lipped smile. “Hi. I’m- I- uh-” He laughed awkwardly while he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m Spencer.” He finally broke through his stammering.

It was charming in a way. He seemed so sweet and shy. You suspected he had a hint of social awkwardness.

“Y/N. It’s nice to meet you, Spencer.” With a hand offered in his direction, he was slowly putting a hand up. “Did you know that our hands carry on average 3,200 different germs belonging to more than 150 species? Your hands can have anywhere from 100,000 to a few million germs at any given time.”

The sudden fact had your eyes widening as your gaze fell on the palm of your extended hand. “Are you serious? That’s how many germs lay in our hands? Good lord, no wonder why we are always spreading new diseases.”

The tone of your voice had Spencer letting out a soft giggle as he was reaching in his satchel to retrieve some hand sanitizer. “That’s why I always carry this.” He explained, pumping the disinfectant into his hands before offering some to you as well.

“What other facts do you have?” You suddenly asked, rubbing the liquid into your hands as you were now staring up at the taller male. Spencer wasn’t used to this. Most people ignored him or they didn’t even look in his direction, much less ask him about the plethora of knowledge and statistics that plagued his brain.

“Too many to name.” He admitted, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Ask me anything and I bet that I can tell you a statistic or a fact about it.” There was a rush of confidence, Spencer liking the idea of the possibility of having a new friend to listen to him.

“Hmm. Scotland.” You spoke while raising an eyebrow. “Oh! That’s too easy. Did you know that golf was actually invented in Scotland? Scotland is the country with the highest proportion of golf holes per capita in the world. The city of St Andrew’s has 12 golf courses.” He grinned proudly.

“Wow, are you some kind of genius or something?” You asked with a smile. “You could say that.”

This whole conversation was refreshing for Spencer. He’d never had anyone actively want to speak to him before. Most girls looked at him like he was an alien, the males would rather use him as a punching bag than speak to him like civilized people.

He felt alone a good chunk of his life due to the fact he was.. Different from others.

You were a rainbow shining boldly after a dreadful, miserable storm.

The school bus had rolled up not too long after though, the screeching breaks and the squeak of the opening doors were probably the most familiar thing you’d experienced. “After you.” Spencer spoke, gesturing to the open doors.

The vehicle was packed, other students scattered from other stops in the neighborhood taking up most of the seats, leaving just a mere few at the front being open. “You wanna sit with me?” You asked, the glasses wearing teenager beside you feeling the burn in his face, neck and ears from his blushing.

Despite his brain trying to give him rational ways to deny sitting with you, he couldn’t bring himself to say no. You were nice. You had a nice laugh and smile. You were safe.

Instead of verbally answering, he was taking the seat closest to the window with a soft smile, which prompted you to match his expression and fall down on the outer area of the seat.

This was going to be the start of an interesting friendship.

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mbti-notes · 10 months

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Anon wrote: INFJ here, 28F but questioning my gender identity. My question and its context is kinda NSFW, but has been bugging me for a long time now.

I believe I’m asexual and recently started wondering if I might be aromantic too. A couple of weeks ago, after a make-out session with a queer platonic partner (45M, romantic and possibly demisexual), I realized that looking at my body in the context of what we’re doing turns me off.

A little history here, I’ve always envisioned myself as a guy in my head growing up; I wanted to get gender affirming surgery at one point; and only recently have become more accepting of my body as something that I need to take care of and sustain, and not be cruel and uncaring towards. I also spend most of my time in my head, so my body has always been a cage of flesh and blood to me.

Another thing that also happened to me before is that after having sex with an ex, I felt like my mind was slowly coming back to my body and wondering if I had been the one doing all of the things that I did. It felt very distant, mechanical, and maybe even disgusting? I—or my brain—seemed very critical of what had happened. It was a consensual affair, but it almost feels like my mind dissociated even though I seemed to be enjoying it in the moment.[end of warning]

I thought that these two occurrences could be due to my inferior Se—the magnitude of external stimuli in the moment that needs to be processed—and my Fe in overdrive—feeling what the other person is feeling, because I feel I am very empathic—when I’m remotely intimate/physical with someone. Do you think that could be the case? Is it possible that these two functions contribute to my asexuality and aromanticism? How about gender identity?

I’m also wondering if maybe it is the self-image that my Ni has of myself and my body that doesn’t align with what my body actually looks like. In which case, I feel it’s closer to dysphoria? Is it something that I can work on by developing myself as a person, like in the dev guide? I feel very lost & confused. I’m trying to take the right steps by checking in with myself, talking to my therapist & my qpp, but I’d appreciate any guidance you could give. Tnx & happy pride! <3

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Happy pride month! You're bringing up a really, really complex issue. Two issues, actually: gender identity and sexual orientation. The fact is there hasn't been enough research about them, let alone research that would link them to personality type. In a lot of ways, mental health professionals are kind of allowing LGBTQ+ people to set the stage for how best to help and counsel them. While empathy and compassion go a long way to ease the pain of prejudice and discrimination, it's hard to find a therapist who really understands this kind of experience unless they've been through something similar as well.

I mention all of this as a disclaimer because it's important to acknowledge that a lot of what we think we know about gender identity and sexual orientation is very much speculative or merely opinion. Because LGBTQ+ experiences have also been heavily politicized into wedge "issues", it's also important to note that the people who speak the loudest about these issues aren't necessarily the ones you should be trusting.

I will start out by stating the fact that asexuality and transgenderism exist. There are studies that reveal neurological differences between allosexual and asexual people, as well as cisgender and transgender people. For instance, asexual people show less attentional and emotional engagement with sexual imagery.

That being said, I am not aware of any definitive and objective way to verify whether someone is actually asexual, aromantic, or transgender outside of what they believe is true about themselves. There are cases of people who come to believe they are asexual because they're operating on an oversimplified definition of it as "not liking sex", or aromantic as "absence of romantic feelings". That can't be the whole story, because humans are very complicated.

The person may or may not actually be asexual and/or aromantic. When you take into consideration the complexity behind why they dislike sex or have no/muted romantic feelings, it could be something seemingly unrelated to orientation. For example: physical or mental health issues; hormonal or libidinal issues; going through religious or moral education that downplayed romance or demonized sexuality; fear of vulnerability; fear of intimacy; insecure attachment; too many negative romantic/sexual experiences that weren't properly processed; having suffered sexual abuse or trauma; etc.

One way to sidestep the either/or trap is by understanding asexuality and aromanticism as a spectrum, where sex drives fluctuate, romantic attraction and feelings ebb and flow, etc. At this time, we take people at their word when they claim to be asexual and/or aromantic. We treat it as a factual statement about their current attraction patterns, sex drive levels, and relationship preferences. But this isn't very helpful for someone who's really questioning their own existence.

As you alluded to in your case, there is a chance it could be more related to personality development issues than sexual/romantic orientation. IF that's the case, developing your Fe and Se functions would eventually lead you to find meaning in emotional connection with a romantic partner and enjoyment in sexual activity. But the word "IF" is doing a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence.

I'm not a therapist, so I will only speak to type development if you are truly interested in developing Fe+Se and seeing where it takes you. With regard to Ni, a self-image can change and evolve when new experiences allow you to see yourself in a new light. Challenge yourself to build as many strong relationships with people as you can mentally and emotionally manage. It's important that you interact with as wide a variety of people from all walks of life as you can find. This allows you to experience the fullest range of what human relationships can offer you, so it prevents you from drawing bad conclusions from too small a sample of what's actually out there.

In the process of building these strong relationships, you will certainly run into problems. Pause and reflect whenever you meet an issue, difficulty, or conflict in yourself. Inquire into what it really means and what it says about you. Of course, you can ask for help from a therapist about how to interpret your feelings. Use real-world experiences to reveal all the obstacles in your mind that might be preventing you from connecting with people emotionally, romantically, and sexually. If it's possible for you to remove those obstacles, then maybe the issue is more psychological and you are not as asexual or aromantic as you believe you are at the moment, if at all.

To be clear, I'm not advocating for any kind of conversion therapy approach. I'm not saying you have to try to turn yourself allosexual. The main point is that you have to dig really deep into yourself and discover what's really there. As an Fe type, part of that process involves systematic experimentation as a means to learn important truths about yourself -> other people are your mirrors. When Fe is underdeveloped, people don't see themselves clearly and their self-concept can be heavily distorted by unconscious social pressures and expectations. An important aspect of Fe development is becoming fully conscious of social influences, such that you discover the boundary between where you end and others begin. And the most efficient way to learn is through firsthand experience in actual relationships.

With regard to gender identity: Disembodiment is a known defense mechanism, and it's not an uncommon manifestation of inferior Se issues. At the very least, it signals that something's awry when you're using it as an escape. I don't know where you live, but it certainly doesn't help that in Western culture, with its roots in Abrahamic religions and ancient Greek philosophy, there is a rather strong undercurrent of devaluing "earthly" things like the body and viewing the (especially woman's) body as a source of impurity, evil, or imprisonment of the soul. Western culture strangely divides up the mind and body in a way that makes it difficult to feel like a whole and integrated being. This is part of why Westerners get fascinated by Eastern cultures and their more holistic ways of thinking.

If you're serious about exploring gender, then you really have to dig deep into the concepts of masculinity and femininity and everything in between. Gender is largely a social construct but many people don't actually understand the full implications of this claim. Some people think a social construct isn't "real". Some people think a social construct can be easily changed at the snap of a finger. Neither is correct. I'm not going to get into the weeds of gender theory, for that you can consult the recommended books on the resources page. Suffice it to say that one cannot have a proper understanding of one's own gender without considering how the concept of gender is constructed by the society one lives in.

For example: The majority of cultures around the world are patriarchal. If you don't know what that really means, the takeaway point is that femininity has traditionally been underappreciated, even devalued. In a heavily patriarchal society, everyone is socialized to view men as superior and women as inferior in all the domains of life that are considered important to that society. Socializing people like this is about upholding traditional roles and hierarchies from one generation to the next. In the worst cases, women are treated as property or commodities to be used, traded, and abused at will.

Living in a society that devalues your existence, it would make sense that some women would want to disavow femininity or womanhood in order to preserve self-esteem and sanity. After the women's liberation movement of the 1970s, a portion of women understood "feminism" as being equal to men and doing all the things that men do, so they started wearing suits, getting obsessed with careers, and behaving more aggressively. But that was misguided because it meant further uplifting masculine ideals at the expense of the feminine.

As someone born with a female body, viewed as and treated as a woman by the society you live in, it is important for you to go through the process of opening up your mind to exploring and, if necessary, unlearning sexist thinking about what it means to be a "woman". If after having gone through this process of "deprogramming" your social conditioning and releasing yourself from rigid gender stereotypes, you realize that you're comfortable being a woman in a female body, then okay.

However, if you've gone through all that and you are no longer influenced by sexism and you still have no real connection to the concepts of femininity or womanhood, then you can feel more confident in calling yourself something else, something that more accurately captures what you are. You may decide to call yourself man, woman, nonbinary, transgender, androgynous, agender. It's about what fits you best when you think of your gender (or lack thereof). The takeaway point is: You'll only be able to see what you really are when your mind is truly free and clear of all the outside noise that pressures you into being something you're not. This goes back to needing Fe development and being more conscious of your position within society and how it affects you.

Since you're asking for my thoughts, I'll be transparent in offering my personal opinion and you can take it as you will: One of the problems with construing gender and sexual orientation as an "identity" is that it can sometimes become an obstacle on your path to realizing your true self. By putting a label on yourself, you are more likely to feel at peace, discover peers, and feel solidarity with a community - that much is true. But there's also a darker side to it. Sociopolitically, a label means you inhabit a predefined role, you have images and expectations placed upon you by society that you will feel pressured to live up to (due to Ni+Fe), you have a more fixed concept of who you are that could inadvertently cut off your potential for change and growth in meaningful directions. While I understand and support the case for labels and their ability to clarify one's existence, I also believe that labels eventually outlive their usefulness and have to be transcended in order to realize one's full potential as a human being.

#infj #auxiliary fe #inferior se #disembodiment #gender #lgbtq #asexual #aromantic #transgender #ask

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boy-gender · 5 months

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Hi! You can answer this publicly or privately, but I figured maybe someone else might have a similar question? I just wanted to ask about your personal reasons for using it/its pronouns.

I ask bc I've come across two different characters, now, in media I enjoy, that use it/its pronouns. And I've enjoyed seeing it! They're both two of my favorite characters in their respective media. And i think im kinda questioning whether or not my excitement for these characters (particularly when pronouns are discussed bc they're both great characters outside of that fact) is just bc it's nice to see representation, even beyond they/them pronouns, or if maybe I should consider it/its for myself? I'm not sure, I just thought hearing other people's experiences could potentially help me figure that out. Thank you for your time!

Happy to answer!

First of all, whatever pronouns you want to use is entirely up to you! Nobody gets to tell you what to use and what not to use, or what to try out and change later if you don't like it. If you feel like you want to try a set of pronouns, try it! If it doesn't jive, just change it again. There is no limit to how many pronouns or labels you can use, try, drop, pick up again, or how many times you change it. If it sounds like it/its makes you happy, go for it, even if it just "just" because of characters you like. There's nothing wrong with being influenced by the stories that are important to you.

My reason for using it is mostly trauma-based. All my life I've felt a significant disconnect from my own body, but I didn't realize I had a dissociative disorder until I was like 24. A combination of child abuse causing the disorder, where I never felt like my body was/is me, just that I'm a thing inhabiting the body, possessing it like a spirit- and also lifelong bullying and ostracizing by my peers both contributed to it. There are many times I don't feel like a man or a woman, or a nonbinary person, or any type of person at all. I was dehumanized; I had my humanity stripped from me, including my gender. Fat autistic weird 'girls' aren't treated like girls, intersex tomboys aren't treated like boys, we're treated like monsters. Like kicked dogs. I existed only to be abused by the people around me- my parents and teachers who were supposed to protect me, and the peers who should have been my friends and community. Freaks don't have genders, those are for people. And I was constantly reminded that I did not count as a person.

I very much associate the bullying I endured with my gender nonconformity. I was an afab intersex person- I was a girl of age like 13 with a moustache and beard growing in. I was fat, and my fat never distributed to the 'desired' places for a girl (also, this was like 2008. There was no 'desired place' for fat on girls). Other kids knew or sensed things were different about me- that I was queer in multiple ways, that I had several mental illnesses, that I was fat and ugly and was friends only with other rejects, meaning nobody gave a shit what happened to us. There would be no one to come to our defense no matter how severely we were harmed. We didn't matter.

When I found out I was a system, it put a lot into perspective. The disconnect from the body, from my identity, from my own memories (which are all in third person) made more sense. My other is not human. At first I assumed the "it-ness" was because of this, but actually he doesn't like to be called it at all. It hurts him. It doesn't fit. The it-ness is from me. It's an expression of the gender experience I was denied, a reclamation of the othering I suffered. I don't count as human. I will never be worth being human, or having typical human experiences. I will never be allowed into the club. But it turns out there are other clubs out here- humanity and the cisgender binary are not the only options. I no longer see my othering as "be human or just die," but as "not human? Cool, come try one of these other myriad things." There are so many more things you can be besides human.

This makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Firstly, good. People should be uncomfortable with the cruelty I endured and the marks it left. People should be uncomfortable that they probably participated in othering people as children, and maybe even still do it as adults, and they should be uncomfortable that society is raising their children to continue to do this. It is, in a way, a little bit like my pronouns being fuck/you, or examine/yourselves. Some of it's shock value, and I like that.

Secondly, the shit I get the most is from other trans people, saying I'm somehow harming the trans community because other people call us "its" as an insult. If someone were to call me a she, that is incorrect, and could be used as an insult- they're misgendering me, they're trying to hurt me. This is not the fault of the word "she" and I'm not going to go up to a trans woman and say "this word hurts me, so you cant use it. No more she/her pronouns for you." We are not all going to have the same comfort level with words. I don't like being called a dyke, but dykes do. Some people don't like being called queer, but lots of us do. Some people don't like being called it, but I do. Either way, I get to decide what I am called, and other people get to decide what they are called, and nobody else gets to veto someone's identity. If someone doesn't like calling me it? Then they don't have to talk to me. If they won't respect my pronouns, they're not any better than people who would call me she or her. I don't need their input or validation.

If you do decide to try out it pronouns, I would say be prepared for backlash, but also don't let it effect you. Block people liberally, joyously even. Don't argue. Don't bother. You do not have to justify who you are. And, consider "soft launching" your pronouns! Maybe tell a couple close friends, or just the internet, and if it goes well, expand to other people, and then other people. Roll it out in stages while you get comfortable and try things and assess. You don't owe anyone a coming out; you can decide if, when, how, and to whom you explain yourself, if you ever do it at all.

As an aside, I want to make a distinction here- I'm not otherkin. I don't say I don't count as human because I am some other type of creature just in a human body this reincarnation. This is not a spiritual belief, or even a psych-kin thing. This is purely a product of trauma, something that was foisted upon me that I am now reclaiming, not something innate to my identity. I don't want people to conflate my experience with that of otherkin and be like "see? you're not really [whatever], you're just traumatized!" I hope people will not use my experience to police other people's identities. I am speaking only for myself.

Hope this helps. If you have any more specific questions, feel free to reach out!

#it pronouns #it its pronouns #pronouns #neopronouns #xenogender #queer #transgender #trans #trans men #trans man #trans masc #transmasc #ftm #og #transblr

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helpmeimblorboing · 9 months

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Transphobes when they see a trans person in media : OMG THE TRANS AGENDA IS EVERYWHERE. OMG MUH CHILDREN (rapidly packs up abused and beaten children in a blanket) MUST PROTECT MUH AMERICAN RIGHT TO FREEDOM AND FREE SPEECH!! (quickly takes down Confederate flags hanging outside).

Transphobes when they meet a trans person : OMH NO ONE BELIEVES YOU'RE ACTUALLY TRANS !! 43 % !!(harasses a teenage child to suicide) YUR WEAK !! JK ROOLING WILL SUE YO ASS !!

In their eyes, trans people are simultaneously overwhelming and pathetic. As Umberto Eco once said in his essay "Ur Fascism", "Followers (of fascist movements) must be convinced that they can overwhelm the enemies. Thus, by a continuous shifting of rhetorical focus, the enemies are at the same time too strong and too weak." Transphobia is literal fascism, by definition.

"Fascist groups often appeal to these individuals by offering a simplistic and seductive worldview that blames certain groups for their problems and presents a vision of a powerful and homogeneous community that can restore order and greatness."

A simple idea of how fascist groups attract new recruits

Sound familiar ? It should. That's exactly what GCs (Gender Criticals, or as I like to call them, Genital-obsessed Creeps ) do to attract new recruits, blaming the "trans agenda" for everything

"Another factor that can contribute to the adoption of fascist beliefs is a sense of fear and anxiety about the future. This can be exacerbated by real or perceived threats to one’s security, such as economic instability, social unrest, cultural change, or terrorism. Fascist movements often exploit these fears by offering a strong and authoritarian leader who promises to protect and defend the community from perceived enemies, both internal and external.

In addition, fascist ideology often relies on a narrative of victimhood and a sense of historical grievance, which can appeal to individuals who feel disempowered or marginalised in some way. This narrative portrays the group as having been unfairly oppressed or humiliated by other groups or forces, and seeks to restore a sense of pride and dignity by reclaiming power and status.

Finally, the process of radicalization into fascist beliefs can be facilitated by socialisation and exposure to extremist propaganda, whether through online forums, social media, or face-to-face interactions with other members of the group. This can create a sense of belonging and solidarity, as well as reinforce the group’s ideology and worldview."

Again, all things actively used by TERFs to spread their worldview. A common fear is seen in them. A fear that is perpetuated by the more obsessed amongst them, who were once homophobes, who simply shifted gears, and changed the word "gay" to "trans". A fear that was last seen during the anti-gay crusades, peddled by priests and Christians, and is seen again today. This fear is often fueled by media coverage of cases of violence or abuse perpetrated by individuals who identify as trans, and by the portrayal of trans activism as a totalitarian movement that seeks to silence dissent and impose a new orthodoxy. A lie, but one that is widespread (Again, setting the stage for recruitment)

"This can lead to a sense of moral superiority and a willingness to use extreme tactics, such as harassment, doxxing, and censorship, to silence opponents and defend their views."

All things TERFs have done and are doing

I rest my case

Additionally, a message to any TERFs reading this

A common thread in fascism is that it is never about the message itself. The message is merely a cover for self-glorification. The original Fascist movement was not there for the reasons they claimed. It was there to glorify Mussolini, with everything they did playing to that end goal. The same with Nazism, and the same with TERFs.

Please remember, we are not your enemies. We do not want harm to befall you. We do care about you, but your leaders don't

TERFs do not care about women. TERFs care about hatred

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alex51324 · 8 months

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Hello! I figured you were the person to ask, so: do you know where I could find more info on Edwardian gender segregation laws? Like, the maids aren't allowed on the men's corridor, but what if you are a young maid who wants to visit the chauffeur's cottage because you want to ask the chauffeur's sweetheart about being gay because you are a small lesbian? Is Peter leaving the door open good enough? Would they have to find a bench somewhere on the estate gardens? Asking for spin-off fic purposes. (Also, I am sending you good vibes and will pray for you at shul.)

Hey! So, I'm not sure about sources, because a lot of this stuff wasn't written down at the time, but I'd say you're probably fine with having her visit the cottage. (I think I've had Anna visit them there, haven't I?)

First, visiting a whole separate dwelling with plenty of Stuff That Isn't Bedrooms would be generally less suspicious than going into the Corridor That Consists Entirely of Men's Bedrooms.

A key thing to remember about Victorian-to-Edwardian mores was that it was a lot more about the appearance of impropriety than what would actually, logically, give two people an opportunity to have illicit sex. Bedrooms and darkness were to be avoided at all costs, even in a house stuffed full of people; a parlor in broad daylight has an air of innocence even if the house is otherwise empty.

Second, if it's a spinoff, it's after the war, and The War Changed Things. In terms of the upper classes, chaperonage basically disappeared, and a woman calling on a man in his home during the day isn't necessarily something you would absolutely need to make sure that there's another woman present in order to do. (Although if you made a habit of it, that would be Noticed.)

For the working classes, things were even more relaxed; at this point, thanks to changes in mores and increased employment opportunities, you get people in the employers-of-servants classes complaining about how you pretty much have to allow your maids to have "followers" (boyfriends) these days, if you don't want them quitting the job after a few weeks.

Third, it is pretty much an open secret that Thomas and Peter are Like That, so that's probably going to slide them into the same category as, say, visiting the vicar or a man old enough to be your father--it doesn't really count as Visiting A Man, in the capital-letters sense.

So yeah, if they're in the front room with the curtains open, that should be fine--although if the maid makes the mistake of trying to avoid being seen going into the cottage, that would contribute to an appearance of impropriety.

There's some wiggle room to adjust it up or down depending on what you're going for--if you want it to be totally on the up-and-up, have her invent/volunteer for some errand, in the middle of the day; if you want an air of scandal, have her do a bit of lurking in the darkness (like that time canon!Thomas did outside of Anna and Bates's place).

#downton abbey #thomas barrow #halo effect

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lettucedloophole · 7 months

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i never considered sex also being a social construct, and when you pointed that out, (ESP W THE USE OF DWORKINS QUOTE OMFG) it literally blew my mind, including the fact we don’t know what a society looks like outside of patriarchy. i’m having some trouble tho w homosexuality as a social construct. did you mean that in a way where the term and idea of homosexuality is a social construct bc all love is the same, and shouldn’t be classified as such bc of the fact we think its “different”?

also totally unrelated to the specific topic but still on the basis of radical feminism, how do you keep pushing? lately i’ve been feeling like its so hopeless bc i hardly see any significant change happening in the western world, one of the biggest examples is like how u said everyone wants to defend the status quo, and that contributes to my feelings of “im only one person i cant change it all by myself in my community and inspire others to do the same so i should just give up”. i know i won’t really be able to go back to how blissfully ignorant i once was :’) and that’s probably what keeps me from leaving rad feminism bc there’s just so much truth in it and i know i’d rather me and every other human in the world be liberated than give in and live a life with even more misery but there’s still times where i have those thoughts of complying and it just sucks. i gave up my skincare routine (now its just cleanser and moisturizer & the occasional sunscreen if might be out in the sun), makeup, fashion marketed towards women, porn, FANFICTION 😭, crushing on men, dating men, and even being friends w men. i didn’t give up my libido but it disappeared on its own bc of everything i continue to learn. i realize how deep misogyny is in our society and culture and just want to isolate myself from everyone. I CANT RUN FROM IT NO MATGER WHAT THO……💔

for homosexuality as a social construct; kind of. if sex is a social construct (i.e., the categories of male & female don't exist outside of society), it follows that sexuality is as well-- especially because the social construct of women & man are packaged with expectations of submission (to man), pregnancy, confinement to the home, and domination (of women), all but the last trait for women. in patriarchal mythos the class of people defined as "women" are supposed to be heterosexual, and the same goes for men.

the only context which heterosexuality exists in is under patriarchy, so it's impossible to untangle from bioessentialistic complementarianism. similarly, homosexuality is also a construct of patriarchy, albeit a positive subversion / defiance of the heterosexual structure of relationships. but when sex is eventually abolished, and men + women no longer exist, current classifications of sexuality will disintegrate with them. instead of 'man attracted to woman' or 'women attracted to other women', we will just have people liking people, & relationships formerly regarded as homosexual will no longer suffer a stigma compared to heterosexual ones.

if we argue that people are just "born" as heterosexual or gay without investigating what in society makes hetero or homosexuality so appealing or alien & disturbing (the patriarchy), we concede that homosexuals are naturally unnatural (in that, so little of the world is bisexual or gay or asexual under patriarchy, and this is not because of patriarchy, but "nature". therefore, the order of patriarchy is made acceptable through naturalization.)

ANYWAYS, onto your more important question... resisting mental domination, as bell hooks put it. unfortunately this is the hardest thing to answer as i myself haven't even gotten it down yet :') i relate to what you're saying so much, and a lot of other radfems do, so know that you're not alone even if it feels that way.

if i could talk to myself when i first Rad(fem)icalized, i would say... don't be too hard on yourself. we're all suffering from a lifetime of gendered socialization which basically amounts to self harm for women 💀 i went Ham with the radfem stuffs, giving up makeup & sexualized fashion & shaving, and it was relatively easy for me since i was already quite gnc & angry lol, but.

while i think it's good to give up much of that stuff, the world's not gonna explode if you struggle or give yourself some exceptions. don't let up on anything that gets in the way of your personal/political liberation, at least not for a long time, but. don't let people online jerk you around or make you feel like you're a bimbo for wearing makeup or whatever. some internet terfs can be reallyyy misogynistic if you adhere to gender roles or. don't hate trans people.

when you feel angry, don't turn it inward. it's something women & gender minorities do way too much. if you're not comfortable expressing it, though i think expressing it "unhealthily' (screaming at someone, breaking a plate) is better than pointing it at yourself, find a healthy and / or productive way to release it. we are trying to avoid this aspect of female socialization ↓

it's also mega important to remember that... it's easy to think men don't understand the patriarchy, but they do. the thing is, though, they don't give women grace for struggling with sexist socialization and use it as "proof" that women are actually inferior. women who are aware of the patriarchy but have no faith in other women do this as well. have faith in other women. have faith in trans people. have faith in gay & bi people. their liberation is tantamount to your own. and i don't mean individual gender minorities who are assholes... just don't let those assholes make you lose faith in these groups as a whole.

honestly i feel like there's a lot more i could say but idk, don't want to bury you in words lol. feel free to send more asks or message me if there's anything i can elaborate on or help you with! or even if you just need someone to talk to. much love, anon :') 🫶

#radical feminism #trans inclusive radical feminism #tirf #trans inclusive radfem #ex-terf #ex terf #anti prostitution #anti sex trade #anti sex work #asks

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cha0ticr0b0tic · 2 years

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On Izzy Hands and Old Movies

I really have to hand it to OFMD and probably also my own neurodivergent brain that needs to connect everything to each other, like a Pepe Silvia bulletin board –

In analyzing the sort of “filmbro masculinity” I saw in Izzy, I’m now finding myself contributing, in my own way, to “queering the filmbro” and that’s led to me understanding not just my gender, but how movie genres can be played with, subverted, and reworked because hey, we’re not in the 40s anymore, we don’t need to censor ourselves. With Izzy, the sort of Hays Code-era subtext he uses is the closest thing he’ll get to actual text and that speaks volumes in a show made in 2022 that is out and proud.

I’ve seen Tweets from David Jenkins where he mentions films that inspired his own writing, like Heat and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, and it’s like hey! I should check these out not just because they’re part of OFMD’s DNA, but because these are also explorations into masculinity that might impact my own writing. I want to make subtext actual text, because the Izzys throughout cinematic history deserve it, man.

My personal happy place is neo-noir (Reservoir Dogs, David Fincher, Martin Scorsese, what have you) but now I’m exposing myself to buddy movies from the “New Hollywood” era of filmmaking, back in the 60s and 70s. (Mean Streets is both a crime and buddy movie so it was a good one for me to start with). This is a traditionally homoerotic genre but somehow they’re always ending in tragedy – haven’t seen Butch & Sundance yet, but I did watch Midnight Cowboy for the first time yesterday and it was incredible and depressing and absolutely WILD that it won Best Picture back in 1969 given its subject matter. (For Izzy fans, Con O’Neill starred in a stage play version of Midnight Cowboy, as Rico Rizzo.)

There’s been some talk lately about “filmbros” being anyone who watches things outside of major franchises – this has been applying to international film but I think it probably also applies to the older stuff, too. Obviously not everything made in the 60s and 70s is going to have aged well, but that doesn’t mean they’re not important. Not to get all irritating and pretentious but these movies don’t spoon feed you, don’t set you up to follow heroic or even likeable characters, but they have a lot to say about society and (especially in the 60s/70s) capitalism and what it does to people. I love speculative fiction, always have always will, but I think there is something to be said about films that follow everymen just trying to make it.

I don’t know, I just think it’s neat how I started out trying to crack a character in a fun TV show and am now trying to give myself a crash course in buddy movies, who’d have thought I’d end up here?

#izzy hands #our flag means death #david jenkins #buddy movie #filmbro #heat 1995 #cowboy #60s movies #new hollywood

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buchdrache · 1 year

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Review: Identitti by Mithu Sanyal

"Identity does not determine the things we do, but it does determine the things other people do to us." (S. 410)

They still exist, the novels that turn one's worldview completely upside down. "Identitti" by Mithu Sanyal is one such novel. Immediately after I finished reading the novel, I rushed to my PC to type these lines, so as not to lose the feeling that the novel had created in me. It has been working in me for days. The story has opened up a field of themes for me that is completely contrary to what I assumed up to now.

Scandal! The famous professor Saraswati is in fact white and has only lied to everyone about her Indian identity. Is it even a lie? Her student Nivedita, at any rate, is shocked by the revelation, she feels cheated and deceived. She immediately goes to her professor to get answers. Answers to the question of why Saraswati did what she did, but also to find herself and her tangled identity.

Nivedita is the protagonist of the novel and at the same time her story cannot be told without Saraswati. Nivedita's mother comes from Poland, her father from India, and she herself grew up in Germany. Is she now Polish, Indian, German? All her life, Nivedita has been looking for confirmation from outside, putting on other people's identities like others put on clothes. First this happened in the form of her cousin Priti, who grew up in England in a strong Indian community, then later with her professor Saraswati, who teaches postcolonial studies at the University of Düsseldorf.

The novel tackles a highly sensitive and heatedly debated subject area: Identity and Identity Politics, and at the same time it wraps up the subject in a witty and brisk read. I was gripped by the style from the start and soon by the subject matter. The narrative focuses strongly on intellectual discourse, but without overloading it with scientific jargon.

What moves me most personally, however, are the questions that are opened up here: If categories like race and gender are just social constructs, what constitutes our identity? Where do the lines run between identity, cultural appropriation and blackfacing? What makes us us?

The novel does not provide clear answers, because there are no clear answers to these questions. But it provides plenty of material to think about.

It is also interesting how the novel is arranged. It is a collage of different media: classic narrative text, transcripts of radio broadcasts, newspaper columns, tweets, Instagram posts and so on. Almost like real life is a collage of different aspects. For many of these posts, the author asked actual people to contribute. She described the context of her novel to them and asked them to write a tweet as spontaneously as they would if they read about a case like the Saraswatis. And indeed there was. In 2015, Rachel Dolezal was outed by the press as white, who until then had been living as a Black woman (unlike Saraswati, whose identity is POC). The case inspired Sanyal to write her novel.

"Identitti" is, despite everything, fictional, although real people appear and all the places mentioned also actually exist. But this does not diminish the questions the novel raises, as they have an all too real impact on all our lives.

If race, like gender, is only constructed, then why should it be okay to hormonally and surgically adapt one's own body to one's identity in the case of gender, but not in the case of race? Where is the difference? This question has bothered me from the beginning. I don't have a clear answer yet, but I am fascinated by this question. Perhaps there is no need for a clear answer. In any case, I have learned that there is a term, transracial, that describes what Saraswati lives.

In my search for answers in the novel, I noticed with interest how the characters engage in discourse around it. Saraswati's opponents are outraged. They accuse her of cultural appropriation, racism and blackfacing. Saraswati counters them with numerous arguments. But while her opponents are just spouting phrases, Saraswati is able to give them calm and level-headed (if occasionally a bit populist and flashy) whole lectures to justify why she did what she did, making well-substantiated arguments and numerous cross-references to academic literature. One particular passage caught my attention:

""Are you going to claim to be Aboriginal next, then, when everything can be interchanged?" sneered Oluchi's friend." (S. 244)

When I first heard about the fact that apparently you can actually change physical characteristics to make passing as transracial (cisracial?) possible, I was confused. Race for me until then was something inherent, something you are born with and that is not changeable. I can't suddenly be Black, I am, after all, white.

But the same is true of gender. I have the gender I have, I was just assigned a different one at birth. What Oluchi's friend says here is one-to-one TERF rhetoric, only applied to race instead of gender. Race as a category was artificially created. Race is not linked to physical characteristics, race has no biological basis, but oppressors use physical characteristics to support their theories. The same happened with the category of gender.

Maybe that was the moment that made me change my mind. In the epilogue to the novel, Sanyal mentions the text "trans. Gender and Race in an Age of Unsettled Identities" by Roger Burbaker. I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but this text also seems to relate the categories of race and gender. So it sounds like a worthwhile further read.

I do have one criticism, however. Precisely because the novel relates race and gender as categories, I would have expected gender to be dealt with as sensitively as race. But that is not always the case. The novel is gendered throughout, so there is an awareness of the subject. A genderqueer cis woman does indeed appear. Nivedita is initially confused as to whether Toni is a man or a woman when she appears, but then nonetheless genders her based on physical characteristics before asking Toni for her pronouns. I think a gender-sensitive reading could have tweaked this a bit.

I don't know if this society is ready for the discussions the novel opens up, but it would be nice if it was. The novel is definitely a good and important loud voice on this.

"To say only gender can be truly trans is the same as trying to distinguish real science from ... other forms of knowledge-making, high art from low art, art from craft." (S. 243)

Possible triggers - experiences of racism - Racist attacks - terrorist attack in Hanau is addressed - toxic relationship

Advertising according to §6 TMG Series information Author: Mithu Sanyal Title: Identitti Language: German Cover illustration: Raja Ravi Varma: Kali, before 1906 Series: No Pages: 424 Original price: 22€ Publisher: Carl Hanser Verlag Genre: Fiction ISBN: 978-3-446-26921-7

Originally posted on 15/01/2023

#book review #bookblr #identitti #mithu sanyal #fiction #race #gender #racism #the novel has an English translation

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monster--boyfriend · 1 year

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I won’t keep track of all those questions if I read through them all, so let’s see what questions we get when I ask you to do multiples of 11.

11. Do you think you have a particularly unique view on life?

I think I do but also that's probably because I keep it to myself a lot of the time so I'm not sure if or how many people would agree with me. To put it as simply as possible despite everything I'm overall a long term optimist and I believe in a potential for good things.

22. Do you want children? Why or why not?

I really do. I thought I didn't for years, then I realized that I did but I didn't think I should be allowed to have them. Now I think I should be allowed to have them but that I can't until I'm more financially stable and I don't know if I ever will be.

But I want to raise kids, raise people as I saw someone put it. I want to be able to take in children or have children, and care for and raise them so they can be happy and healthy adults, be someone they can depend on. And I don't even feel like I want kids to somehow like, keep my family name going? It's more like I personally feel like I can and want to contribute to society as a whole by caring for and readying the next generation.

33. What are your predictions for the next few years? Or tomorrow, even?

I think 2023 is going to be another slow year for me. After I just fucked up my knee again on Saturday I feel like surgery for that is inevitable. Then I'm supposed to have top surgery something in fall 2023. So for next year at least, I think it will be another year of healing.

44. What's your pettiest "dealbreaker" in a relationship or friendship?

I don't think any of my dealbreakers are petty. I think having a standard, any standard, is fair. If something is a dealbreaker then it is such for a reason and if you try to ignore it because it's 'petty' then it could just become something you resent so much that in the end it will drive you apart anyway.

55. What reminds you of your childhood?

Most distinctly the smell of Van Houtte brand Vanilla Hazelnut coffee. It always takes me back to a different time and place. Particularly the smell of it outside in the morning.

The gas station on the corner near our house sold that brand for years and I would go over there and get mom and I coffee some mornings when there was none in the house. Usually after staying up all night so I was awake anyway. I know it wasn't technically childhood the way people think of it because I was probably 18/19/20 years old but something about that period of my life feels a bit like my childhood.

66. If you are gay, did you struggle to accept your sexuality? Would you change it if you could?

I think I struggled more with accepting that I wasn't Just A Lesbian more than I ever struggled with being not straight. Accepting my sexuality was tied directly to accepting my gender which was hard to nail down. I also had to deal with some outside forces trying to put me in to specific boxes of what I was allowed to be according to their opinion. So while being Not Straight was easy to approach and accept, being not A Lesbian was strangely difficult to accept.

77. How long can you go without socializing?

I suppose that depends on what you consider socializing. If you mean keep to myself and speak to no other people by any means of communication, then not long at all. If I'm completely alone in the house all day I will at some point speak to someone of my own accord. I don't do well if I don't have someone nearby, physically or via text messaging in some way, to reach out to. I need low key constant validation that I have worth in peoples lives. It's the mental illness. As far as going out and hanging out with people? I can put that off for weeks. Though that is mostly because I don't have many local friends at all.

88. What's an unusual but useful trait or talent you have?

I've mentioned before but I'm very good at navigating as long as I'm not underground.

99. Do you enjoy "slice of life" media?

I really do but they have to also have some kind of story? If it's JUST slice of life, I tend to get a little bored? I miss when shows had more filler episodes I guess, I want there to be breathing room. I want that down time.

Those were all actually really interesting questions, especially since you didn't really pick any just gave me a grouping

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star-anise · 3 years

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Oh goddamn my brain just exploded.

I just watched F. D. Signifier's video on "I Don't Dream of Labour" and just how much the whole discussion operates in a while different reality from the one in which Black American men and the concept of working for a living have historically existed.

His take is enormously well-informed and informative, and this isn't an idea that's of his calibre at all, it's just that his take on the context this discussion is happening in was so insightful that it shook something loose in my brain as relates to my own experiences. Mainly, it helped me contextualize a reaction I'd had last week, in a post about dream jobs outside of capitalism and whether it was okay for "engineer" to be one of them, in my background in white lower-middle class.

Like yes, I do have intellectual reasons for believing what I believe. My work experience, my research, my education in the social sciences, my curiosity about the world around me, my readings of Foucault, have all informed my beliefs that society has chronically devalued forms of labour that, in fact, it depends on so much that the entire system freaks the fuck out if those devalued workers realize that they're valuable enough to demand better.

Signifier's video helped me connect with some of my emotional reactions to socialist and utopian thought, and recognize just how much my views are also rooted in hard gnarly matter of my lived experience, and the lived experiences of the people who raised me.

I dream of labour partly because I've found a line of work that I love and that gives me meaning. But the other thing is, I dream of labour because of a bone-deep tiredness in me that says: If I don't do it, the work won't get done.

I'm a therapist, and the birth of my vocation as a therapist was in the years when I didn't have one or feel like I was allowed to ask for them, and neither did anyone else I knew, and the amount of terror and pain that we all lived with because of it would have ripped a hole in my ability to trust the universe if I hadn't decided to make myself the hero I needed. I say that if I do my work well enough I might contribute to enough social change that I'll put myself out of a job, but in practical reality, I don't think that will happen in my lifetime.

I digress. A few years after that, my mom admitted she had depression and went on disability leave from work because she was pretty damn bad. I remember when we got home after she'd picked me up from school one day, and while she was out of the house, her female friends had come to our house and gone to town on all the housework she'd been struggling to do (and then some; we knew things were different from the front door, because the floor of our mudroom sparkled in a way it never had before).

I remember it so much because I think it was only the second time in my life I'd seen her cry. Because it was so unexpected and such an amazing relief, this sense that someone else would step in and do the work for her. (Yes, my dad and older brothers and I pitched in, but everyone's expectations were that if the house was still standing at the end of our tenure it'd be a net win, and yes, I still feel ashamed for not having done more even if I logically couldn't have.)

This is part of what it means to say my gender is "farm wife". My ancestors were white settlers in western Canada, where farms were divided up in a grid pattern that guaranteed that homesteads would be pretty isolated. My grandmothers were children during the Great Depression. For their mothers, being a farmwife meant doing work their family depended on to survive, and knowing that until their oldest daughter got old enough, there was no one to do the work if they didn't. That sense of necessity lives in us still. My mom will endure a job she hates for ages, but feel unable to quit without having another one lined up. I still have "you do not have to fix it" on my phone lockscreen, because unsolved problems cry out to me in the voice of my terror when I was 13 and nobody was saving me.

The thought of coming home and finding my floor washed for me is so impossibly amazing I don't know how I'd even cope with it. The only person I can currently think of who'd actually do it is my mom. And she and I are still trying to sort out the toxic effects of this legacy, where we take on work because we feel we have to and then get angry when we aren't respected or rewarded for it, or try to avoid being the target of that anger by not asking for help we need. The thought of leaving work undone inspires such a deep, visceral level of fear and shame that it's hard to think around sometimes.

All of which helps me explain and understand my reflexive "Oh, fuck YOU" reaction to people who say that in the future robots will flip our burgers and burp our babies, but in the meantime, it's being corrupted by a neoliberal agenda to try to make the backbreaking work of ordinary people five pounds lighter. I am the enemy if I ever hire someone to wash the floor for me.

I'm not sure that "Oh, fuck you" response is bullshit, though. Like, I feel like I'm supposed to say that my ideological enemy is the capitalist boss who mandates workloads, not the edgelord tankie who sends hatemail to insufficiently radical "liberals", but this entire thought process has just helped me formulate why I hate those goddamn tankies so fucking much.

The work of defeating capitalism is important and real and more people need to be doing it. But it's stark raving idiocy to pretend that it's the most important work there is, because before it comes the work of keeping people alive. The work of keeping people fed and clothed and housed, healthy and well, connected and cared about. And I'm always thrilled when I get to do so in a manner that also resists capitalism, but if the only people helping me do that are capitalists, that is who I'm going to fucking ally with. Because the work needs to be done, and I would like to die without the family curse of never feeling able to trust that people will survive if you pause for one moment making my bones glow in the dark.

So if your only reaction to that is to say I should heroically struggle in ideologically pure isolation because Capitalism Bad but also in Big Rock Candy Communism my work won't be necessary so it's not like you feel any need to help me?

Yeah, you're my enemy. Get out of my fucking way.

#long post #class warfare #tankie shit #staranise original

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emptymasks · 3 years

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Cameron Mackintosh, The West End, and Transphobia in Musical Theatre

So I cannot be a trans person who talks about musicals without addressing this. I haven’t seen anyone else talking about this, and they may well have I just haven’t seen, and this interview is a few weeks old now.

For those unaware of who Cameron Mackintosh is, he perhaps the most famous musical theatre producer and is the producer behind the original productions of: Phantom of the Opera, Les Misérables, Miss Saigon, Kinky Boots, Cats, Mary Poppins, Oliver, Little Shop of Horrors. And the West End versions of: Anything Goes, Follies, Carousel (1993), Oklahoma (1980), My Fair Lady )1970s and 2001), Godspell, Avenue Q (2006), Hair (2010), Sweeney Todd (2015) and most recently the West End production of Hamilton (2017-present), as well as many other musicals. He was knighted in 2017, as of 2019 he has an estimated fortune of £1.28 billion and has been called "the most successful, influential and powerful theatrical producer in the world" by the New York Times.

Let’s take this point by point shall we?

"Classic West End musicals should not be rewritten to make leading roles transgender”. They wouldn’t have to be. If a trans man was cast as Raoul in Phantom of the Opera, nothing would be changed, nothing would be rewritten, it would just happened to be a trans man playing the part instead. Because trans men are men, trans women are women, they are not ‘other’. Nothing, absolutely nothing would have to be rewritten. For all the audience would know, that could be a cis actor playing the part.

You know how I know casting an LGBT+ person as a character who is cis or het makes no difference? There are multiple gay actors who have played Erik/The Phantom in Phantom of the Opera and the role never had to be ‘rewritten’ for them.

If what he means is the music would have to be rewritten, I don't accept that either. I doubt a trans person is going in for a part they do not have the range for. Some trans people may not be able to sing way out of their assigned-birth-gender vocal range, but some can. I doubt this man has ever sat through an audition of a bass Christine Daaé or a soprano Phantom. There are cis men singing high notes in Jesus Christ Superstar, of course plenty of trans woman can sing high notes. Vocal range is not static to your birth gender.

“You can’t implant something that is not inherently there in the story of character.” People make headcannons about characters being trans because there is no proof that they aren’t. Nowhere in any of these musicals that Mackintosh producers do any of the characters ever call themselves cis. For all we know Munkustrap or Mary Poppins or Enjolras could be trans, and some trans people find comfort in that. Show me somewhere in the original libretto where it says any of these characters are “cisgenered”. You can’t. No of course the original writers never thought about that, I’m some of them are transphobic and would hate the idea, but it is not implanting anything that goes against anything mentioned in the text. And again, like in the point above, would not change anything to the story.

Ah, there it is. Suddenly we’ve gone from trying to hide the transphobia behind ‘no, it’s just that it wouldn’t fit in the story’ to ‘trans people are unnatural and putting trans people in things is just forcing people to see them’. As if this needs to be said, but there is nothing unnatural about trans people. Casting trans people is not ‘forcing wokeness’ it’s just employing anyone who is talented enough for the part. For a community that prides itself on being inclusive and lgbt+ positive, that really does only seem to apply to cis gay men a lot, doesn’t it.

Already addressed above why it isn’t “inherently there in the story”, but also no, being trans isn’t a ‘gimmick’, casting a trans character in a role is not a ‘gimmick’ done to try and bring in lgbt+ viewers (at least it never should be). Actors are not just a silly part of your show, they are a key part of your show and they have their own experiences that they bring too the table and make each character their own, and that includes trans people.

That’s very interesting. Wrong, but let’s see what he means. There’s a new musical opening up soon on the West End where the lead character is a trans woman. It’s an adaptation of the book Breakfast On Pluto, which was also adapted into a movie in 2005 staring Cillian Murphy. Now, I do adore the film because as a teen who was starting to question their gender it spoke to me a lot, but it did make the mistake of casting a cis man as the lead trans woman. But it’s 2021 now, and Mackintosh said new musicals with transgender characters could cast trans people in those roles. So that’s what Breakfast On Pluto did right?

That’s what they did, right?

Oh...

Yes a new musical with a lead trans woman character has cast a cis man to play this character. All the while turning down all the trans woman who auditioned, as if auditions should have ever allowed anyone other than trans women to apply, and casting a trans woman to play one of the other side cis characters.

The team behind the musical doubled-down after the backlash and were quick to point out that they have other trans people on the crew so that’s good enough right? Wrong.

Violence against trans women goes up when cis men are continually cast as trans women. It perpetuates this idea that trans women are actually men when audiences see the actor outside of the character and the actor is a man. Cis men are terrified of being perceived as gay for liking a trans woman and when the trans woman characters in films, tv and theatre are all played by men (most noticeably and recently Eddie Redmayne in The Danish Girl) it only seeks to push that belief further.

Cameron Mackintosh doesn’t believe trans people have any business playing characters that were not 100% explicitly written as being trans and we should essentially ‘stick to our own stories’. But then when a new musical comes to the West End with a lead trans character, a cis man is cast.

I implore everyone to watch this short clip from the documentary Disclosure: Trans Lives on Screen:

And just because cis women do not abuse and attack trans men to the same scale that cis men do to trans women, it still means seeing a female actor play a trans man contributes to transphobia in the audience as all they see is a woman 'pretending to be a man', a 'man in a skirt', someone who off-screen is not that gender.

Tdlr: Trans people can play cis characters and it doesn't require the role to be re-written, or the whole script to be re-written. Trans characters should be played by trans people.

#phantom of the opera #hamilton #mary poppins #cats #les mis #musical theatre #west end #broadway #cameron mackintosh #andrew lloyd webber #transgender #lgbt stuff #transphobia #mytext #mywriting #important #breakfast on pluto #tw transphobia

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gimme-mor · 3 years

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ACOTAR THINK PIECE: ELAIN ARCHERON, UNTOUCHABLE

*DISCLAIMER*

This will be a long post.

Please take the time to read this post in its entirety and truly reflect on the message I am trying to send before commenting. My goal is to use my background in Gender and Women’s Studies to deconstruct the comments I have seen on Tumblr and Twitter and bring awareness to the ACOTAR fandom.

The reason I am tagging “Elriel” in this post is to call attention to the arguments in the Elriel fandom that: weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions about Elain’s character and her relationship with Lucien; victimize Elain’s character in fandom discussions; and coddle Elain’s character, which limits fandom discussions about her narrative development and prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions in the same way that the fandom holds other characters accountable for their actions and inactions. It is for these reasons that I WILL NOT remove the “Elriel” tag from this post because all of the above points contribute to the toxic discourse surrounding Elain’s character.

I urge those who use these arguments to understand their implications, why they are problematic, regardless of intent, and reexamine their contributions to the ACOTAR fandom. I WILL NOT tolerate anyone who tries to twist my words and say I am attacking people and their personal shipping preferences. In fact, I AM CRITIQUING THE ARGUMENTS THEMSELVES NOT THE PEOPLE USING THE ARGUMENTS.

Also, I highly encourage the Elriel fandom to read this post because it addresses how the concept of choice as an argument enables arguments to exploit social justice and feminist languge in order to vilify Elucien shippers, among other problematic things.

Elain Archeron is one of the most polarizing characters in the ACOTAR fandom. Though opinions about Elain vary, arguments in the Elriel fandom cite society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters as the reason behind the hate, and this belief is used to provide an explanation as to why other characters in the series are favored over her. In the series, Elain is portrayed in a wholly positive light and this image carries over into the Elriel fandom, painting her character as a good and kind female who has been unfairly wronged and a victim of circumstances that were out of her control. When arguments in the Elriel fandom oppose other viewpoints in the fandom, they fall into one of three categories:

Category 1: Weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions

Maybe people who hate Elain are just jealous of her in a weird way similar to when someone hates the pretty, nice, and charming girl in school just because she is too perfect

Disliking Elain is misogynistic

What happened to feminism? What happened to women supporting women? What happened to she can say no? All of that disappears the second you force Elain to be with Lucien

Elain antis are misogynistic

All Eluciens are Elain antis

Antis claiming they’re feminists when in reality they hate on Elain and Feyre but love Nesta

Elain antis are such sore losers. Y’all were that bunch of people who could not get over being rejected from hanging out with the cool kids so y’all are projecting your hatred towards pretty people now to get validation

I don’t get how Elain’s love for gardening equals boring for some people. I’m sorry your misogyny finds traditionally feminine activities boring

Why are you attacking a female? What did Elain do? Where are your feminist voices?

The fandom is misogynistic towards Elain

If people loved Elain they would ship Elriel

If you hate Elain it says a lot about your feelings toward women

If you hate Elain because she has no “development” then you must hate Azriel because otherwise you’re misogynistic

Eluciens are turned off by the idea of a woman that has the autonomy to reject a man for the simple reason that it is her choice

Eluciens are all about feminism and “it’s HER choice” until it comes down to females not wanting a male

Eluciens don’t respect Elain’s feelings when they ship her with someone that was part of her trauma and makes her feel uncomfortable

The way some Elucien shippers completely disregard how uncomfortable Elain is around Lucien is so hilariously not funny. Prioritizing being mates over Elain’s feelings is just regressive

It’s hard as a fan of Elain to see someone ship her with a person who makes her physically uncomfortable to be around. Wouldn’t you want both characters to be happy to be around each other

Imagine if SJM saw all the awful things her “stans” had to say about Elain

It’s true that we know comparatively little about her, but is she really boring or do you just not value stereotypically feminine traits?

So y’all are just gonna tell me you prefer Elucien over Elriel? Even though Lucien treats Elain as if she’s something that belongs to him? The only reason he wants to be with her is because she’s his mate, he doesn’t respect her, doesn’t treat her as his equal, even though that’s what mates should be? He doesn’t bother to look past what’s on the outside to see her for who she is. And Elain is obviously repulsed by the idea that she should belong to anyone or have no choice in who she can be with. Azriel is her friend and the only person who sees her quiet strength. He has so much faith in her, in her abilities; he’s the one who kept her company when no one else did, he’s the only one who bothered to see her for more than her brokenness. You’re going to tell me you still prefer Elucien over Elriel?

The more I see Gwynriels that ship Elucien out of their hate for Elain, the less I can understand Elain stans that ship Elucien. Pls Elain has made it very clear that she doesn’t want Lucien, why would you ship her with him? Do you hate her too? Smh

The real question would be, if you care and understand Elain why would you ship her with Lucien (where she canonically shrinks when he is near)?

People crying over Helion and Lucien’s mom not getting to be with each other and her being forced into a relationship she didn’t want, but also ship Elucien? Just say you hate Elain

When Elain’s book is out, Gwyn stans will look like clowns and I will laugh because they set her up by shipping her with Azriel just because they hate Elain. Watch them play the victims now because Elriels are clapping back the hate they’ve sent towards Elain

As romantic as wanting girl who is visibly uncomfortable around a guy who caused her trauma to end up with the said guy. Guess their standards for romance are in hell

Category 2: Victimize Elain’s character

Gwynriels only want Gwyn with Azriel because they despise Elain

Gwyn stans and Gwynriels are Elain antis

No one in the books dislike Elain, so why are there so many people who do?

Elain hasn’t done anything wrong or questionable to warrant the hate she gets

Not having Elain’s POV makes it easy for people to be swayed a certain way about her character if you already don’t relate to her in some way

It’s been years since this series came out and we haven’t gotten a lick of an Elain POV, but people still hate her for what? We don’t know her thoughts, dreams, or aspirations

We haven’t even had Elain’s perspective yet and people are passing these judgments off on her

Elain antis who say she’s boring are just cruel when she has obvious symptoms of PTSD like Feyre and Nesta

Gwyn is one of the most overhyped characters and that’s only because most people hate Elain and they couldn’t wait to find a random girl to ship Azriel with

Nesta was abusive to her sisters but Elain (who has only ever been kind) is painted as the villain

From the text we know that Elain is the epitome of feminine stereotypes (gentle, gardening, baking, non confrontational for the most part). Yet people still call her boring or deny that she has any interesting character traits?

You can’t love Nesta and hate Elain

People hate Elain because of internalized misogyny and lack of taste. All the girl does is tend to her garden and mind her business and they treat her worse than Tamlin

Does Gwyn deserve all this support? Of course yes! She is amazing! But where’s that support when Elain was in the same situation as she? Where’s that support for her right now? Why do they idolize Gwyn for her interactions with Azriel and hate Elain for having any interaction with him?

It’s not even a ship war anymore, they just hate Elain

People hate Elain for no reason

Some of y’all don’t like feminine traits and it shows

We know less about Eris and Helion but people don’t call them boring. Why would rejecting femininity make Elain more interesting?

Elain has had a lot forced upon her

The main reason I believe most people love Gwyn so much is to get Azriel away from Elain. It’s not a secret that Elain has been a widely hated character for years so suddenly we get a new female who has a minimal amount of interactions with Azriel and BOOM. New ship that once again doesn’t make sense (just like Azriel x Emerie after ACOFAS)

Elain hasn’t done something so terrible for her to get this hate. At this point some of you are just being misogynistic and you don’t want to accept it. Don’t call yourselves feminists and then say bs like this, it’s embarrassing. She’s pretty and everyone agreed to hate on her

Just a personal feeling, but I feel like a lot of the Elain hate stems from internalized misogyny. That to be a strong female lead, you need to pick up a sword and fight. That to be strong, you need to adapt traditionally masculine traits

Elain is feminine. She is beautiful. She loves to bake and garden. She is docile, quiet, observant, and a people-pleaser. All traditionally feminine traits. Yet for some reason, she’s like the worst in these people’s eyes?

I think also maybe a lot of people can’t relate to her femininity? That her being so beautiful and quiet doesn’t allow for the people who dislike her not to self-insert? Most of the hate stems from people not wanting Elain to be with Azriel. It’s mean, but maybe the people who hate Elain literally just can’t self-insert if they have a story and that’s why they’re vehemently against it?

Poor Elain. The Cauldron dealt her a bad deal. Upon emerging as Fae, she is immediately declared by Lucien as his mate, never mind that she was already engaged to a prick. Her love life is not good

It blows my mind how they really think that they can compare all the shit that Elain gets with some dumb jokes about Gwyn on Twitter (and yes, the “hate” towards her started mostly because Elriels are clapping back, it was bound to happen)

I would think of it as anti-feminist with Elain and Lucien because she has consistently stated that she does not want him so if she was forced to embrace the bond that would be taking away her right to have a choice but with Az she feels comfortable around so if they were mates then Elain would be happy and feel safe which again should be the priority for women to feel safe in their relationships with anything and to not be forced into any type of situation aka the mating bond in this

Category 3: Coddle Elain’s character

Elain has value the way she is, in all her domestic girly glory. Not every character has to be badass

We don’t speak of Elain’s flaws frequently because everyone else already speaks badly of her, mainly in an unfair way

There is definitely something deeper going on with Elain but by no means will she ever be evil or any less feminine. That goes against everything we already know about her

It’s ok to critique Elain because she needs growth but y’all keep forgetting the shit her and her sisters went through

The last “bad” thing Elain did in ACOTAR was not help Feyre when they were impoverished and I’m tired of people acting like she’s a terrible character when it was their father’s responsibility. It happened 4 books ago and Feyre has forgiven both Nesta and Elain

Elain’s character and the evil Elain theory are a great example of the trend where people only consider female characters interesting if they reject femininity

We don’t know enough to hate Elain

Many people want Elain to turn evil (which in my opinion seems to come from a place of internalized misogyny)

However we don’t tend to talk about her faults, at least not publicly, as that has been, and still is, done to death, and I--personally, at least--find it much more fun to theorise about potentially interesting aspects of the overall plot, than dwell on negatives

And ultimately, I would be shocked if Elain has a more karmically-charged story than Nesta, considering that Elain’s “wrongs” are so much less severe and bad than Nesta’s, and Elain has already apologized for them (or paid the price in other ways, like through what Graysen did)

I guess I also think Elain has suffered and been punished enough. I hope her story is about finding hope in terrible situations, and learning to love her new life, and choosing her own path after everything that has been done to her. I don’t think she needs to be punished anymore or face any additional trauma

Also, why is she being judged on her decisions as a human at all? Fae are monsters to humans! They enslaved them for thousands of years, and the Wall was erected to keep them out

Like I’m sorry, but think Elain would want to leave her ONLY FAMILY AND FRIENDS for the Spring Court where she has no one because--oh look, lots of flowers!--is the craziest thing I have ever heard

Her sisters are in the Night Court. Her nephew is in the Night Court. Her closest friends (Nuala and Cerridwen) are in the Night Court. Her love interest is in the Night Court. Her extended family is in the Night Court. Her home is in the Night Court

SJM isn’t going to keep two sisters together and split up the third. Especially not keep Feyre and Nesta together and separate Elain. They were either all going to end up in separate places, or together. Not 2 here and 1 there

Compared to the other female characters in the series, Elain is the only character whose femalehood is at the center of conversations; this is because arguments in the Elriel fandom fixate on it when discussing her character. While Elain, Feyre, Nesta, and Mor are all representations of white womanhood and white beauty, Elain epitomizes the most fragile version of white womanhood. It’s easy to blame society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters when it comes to the discourse surrounding Elain’s character because it: falls in line with the fixation on Elain’s femalehood to silence opposing viewpoints; is a simplistic explanation that fails to tackle the underlying issues with Elain as a character, the same issues that are downplayed in-universe; absolves Elain of her wrongdoings; prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions within the series; and diminishes the impact Elain’s actions and inactions have on those around her. It’s not that Elain is hated in the fandom because she’s a traditional female character; it’s the fact that arguments in the Elriel fandom deflect a critical analysis of Elain’s character because she’s a traditional female character who embodies the ideal white woman in need of protection. White fans and white-aligned fans of color, especially white women, have a tendency to vehemently defend, gatekeep, and coddle white female characters in fandom; this makes it difficult for other fans to engage in critical discussions about these white female characters because they’re viewed as flawless and all around perfect characters despite evidence to the contrary. Since Elain is viewed positively by the other characters in the series, it has rendered her character untouchable to any perceived slight or criticism in fandom discussions because those negative opinions challenge what has been said about her character thus far. And as a result, her character has been placed on a pedestal and implicitly hailed as the epitome of white womanhood; and when she’s criticized, it’s seen as a direct attack against white womanhood. Arguments in the Elriel fandom: exploit feminist language and perpetuate white feminist tactics under the guise of defending Elain’s character; center Elain in conversations about female oppression in the ACOTAR world and uphold white feminist ideologies in their critique of ACOTAR’s patriarchal society; and use the fragile white woman narrative to victimize Elain in Lucien’s presence, playing into racial biases that are associated with white supremacy’s defense of white womanhood.

Feminism is a social movement that seeks to promote equality and equity to all genders, and feminists work toward eradicating gender disparities on a macro-level, in addition to challenging gender biases on a micro-level. As feminism became more mainstream, a flat and oversimplified version of feminism emerged: mainstream feminism. The mainstream feminist movement is meant to represent all women, but rarely does it center conversations around issues that concern most women. The problem with mainstream feminism is that it’s just a popularized version of white feminism. White feminism has relied extensively on an individualized understanding of women’s oppression, exclusively from the lens of privileged white women. White feminism only focuses on the oppression experienced by white, able-bodied, affluent, educated, cishet women; and it views gender as the key mode of privileged white women’s oppression, isolated from the privileges granted by their other social identities. White women can be and are oppressed under the patriarchy but only because they are women; their identity as women does not exempt them from the privileges granted by their whiteness. The term white feminist does not mean any feminist who is white, but refers to feminists who prioritize the concerns of privileged white women as though they are representative of all women. However, the term is not exclusive to white people. Because white feminism is so pervasive, people of other racial and ethnic backgrounds often buy into white feminism, believing that if they work hard enough, they may be able to reap its rewards.

Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism only recognizes the identity of being a woman, assumes that all women share common experiences of gender oppression, fails to address other social identities in relation to overlapping systems of oppression, and disregards privilege in relation to various social identities. Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism is palatable because it doesn’t seek to challenge the systems in place, instead its goal is to succeed within them. Essentially, mainstream feminism and white feminism are extensions of performative feminism. Performative feminism is a type of performative activism that’s used to describe feminist views that are surface level and solely for the benefit of one type of person. It’s a pretense which often has nothing to do with genuine activism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom normalize and promote performative feminism because the topic of feminism is only referenced when discussing Elain. This indicates that these arguments are engaging in disingenuous discourse to push a personal agenda within the ACOTAR fandom, and it becomes more apparent when they use white feminist tactics to shut down opposing viewpoints:

White feminists weaponize and exploit feminist language to silence the opinions of other women, especially when they’re called out for their problematic behaviors

White feminists use the phrase “Women supporting women” to defend other white feminists who exhibit problematic behaviors instead of holding them accountable

White feminists weaponize phrases like “Women supporting women” and “You just hate women” to attack other women who disagree with them on any given topic

White feminists use phrases like “All women face challenges” and “Stop pitting women against each other” to sidestep conversations about privilege

White feminists divert conversations away from privilege and towards the Trauma Olympics to equate their struggles to the oppression of marginalized people

White feminists skirt around the realities of other forms of oppression and discrimination, downplaying the experiences of marginalized people

White feminists diminish or ignore the ways in which gender oppression affects other marginalized people

White feminists paint those they harmed as aggressive, mean, or divisive when confronted with the ways they have harmed a marginalized group

White feminists deflect criticism by focusing on the anger or emotions being expressed rather than the issue that is being discussed, invalidating the concerns of marginalized people

White feminists speak over marginalized voices in an attempt to sound “woke”

White feminists get defensive and insist there’s no way they could be a part of the problem because of what they’ve done to help marginalized groups already

White feminists say they don’t see color in an attempt to obscure racial issues that need to be addressed

White feminists center and victimize themselves in conversations about racism, which derails necessary conversations from taking place

White feminists who are white weaponize the intersectionality of their race and gender to avoid accountability

Feminism is not meant to be approached from an individualistic perspective nor is it only about addressing the experiences of privileged white women, it involves addressing the intersections of race, class, gender, sexuality, (dis)ability, and other social identities as well; and it involves addressing how these social identities relate to privilege. Moreover, feminism is not about women upholding complete loyalty to other women because of a shared gender identity, and to claim that it does implies that women should be held to different emotional standards than men. If men are able to dislike and criticize other individual men, real or fictional, without their characters being compromised, why aren’t women granted that same privilege?

It’s clear that SJM set up the ACOTAR world to mirror a patriarchal society, and that the imbalance of power between males and females stems from sexism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom analyze the ACOTAR world through a feminist lens to show how ACOTAR’s patriarchal society, to which the mating bond is innately tied, contributes to female oppression and limits their agency. When choice and free will are emphasized as part of Elain’s arc, they imply that Elain, through the mating bond, experiences female oppression under ACOTAR’s patriarchal society because of her identity as a female with that identity being the focal point of her oppression in the world. Elain is one of the most privileged characters in the ACOTAR world: she’s High Fae; she’s the sister of the High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court, which gives her access to wealth and political influence because of that connection; she’s able-bodied; she was magically blessed by the Cauldron; and she lives in Velaris, a place that grants females autonomy and power because of the beliefs of Rhysand and Feyre. Arguments in the Elriel fandom trivialize female oppression in the ACOTAR world because they disregard the fact that Elain’s privileges prevent her from experiencing female oppression in the same way that other marginalized females in the world do. The mating bond being one such example because those around Elain are not forcing the bond on her, instead they’re allowing Elain to reach a decision about the bond for herself; a privilege that other marginalized females in the world probably wouldn’t have. Just because Elain has endured hardships in her life and is a female in a patriarchal society, they do not erase the privileges she holds within the ACOTAR world. The failure to include Elain’s privileges in discussions about Elain being a female in a patriarchal society feeds into white feminist ideologies because white feminism operates from a very narrow perspective; it doesn’t take other intersecting identities into account when it examines gender oppression, leaving no room for discussions about privilege (or lack thereof) in relation to those intersecting identities. When discussing oppression in hierarchical societies, it’s imperative that privilege is also included in the conversation because privilege and oppression are not mutually exclusive; they equally affect the ways in which people navigate those societies through their social identities.

Rather than attributing Elain’s uncomfortability to her new life as a Fae female or the mating bond itself and her trauma to the Cauldron, the King of Hybern, or Ianthe, they’re placed on Lucien to cast his character in a negative light. Moreover, fandom discussions portray Lucien as a possessive character to further emphasize Elain’s discomfort despite the inaccuracy of this characterization in canon. Arguments in the Elriel fandom play into racial biases when it comes to Lucien (a male character of color) because they mischaracterize his character in order to victimize Elain (a white female character), placing her character in the role of the white damsel in distress. In Western society, the concept of womanhood has been conceptualized from a Eurocentric perspective with femininity and feminine attributes favoring white women. It’s the idea that a certain type of femininity is only inherent to white women as they are seen as the embodiment of an ideal womanhood. White womanhood has been a symbol of innocence and purity, and white women have been viewed as fragile beings in need of protection. The reason white womanhood functions within white supremacy is because it’s the same idea that has motivated white men to kill and beat black and brown men. The so-called protection of white women has been used as a justification for the horrific violence committed by white men because black and brown men were stereotyped as aggressive and seen as a threat to the virtue of white women. The white damsel in distress trope considered white women as worthy of protection because of their perceived innocence and purity; women of color were not granted that same treatment because they did not fit into the ideal image of womanhood. Over the years, this trope became a means for white women to exercise limited power in a patriarchal society with white women weaponizing their status as the damsel much to the detriment of black and brown men. It’s through the white damsel in distress trope that white supremacy sustains its dominance in Western society. The misrepresentation of characters of color in fandom, the dismissal of their importance to the overall story, and using them as tools in arguments centered around white characters are the foundation of fandom racism; they’re examples of how racism moves silently in fandom spaces. Instead of examining their behavior and taking constructive criticism from fans of color, white fans will often double down on their bigotry and center their uncomfortability in the conversation when confronted with their complicity in fandom racism. White fans expect fans of color to swallow fandom racism in its many forms in order to not ruin the experience of fandom, dismissing the fact that racism is prevalent in nearly every aspect of society. This mentality ensures that no one is held accountable for the harm they caused and alienates fans of color in fandom spaces.

To reiterate what I mentioned in my first think piece: terms like “oppression”, “the right to choose”, “feminist”, “feminism”, “anti-feminist”, “anti-feminism”, “internalized misogyny”, “misogyny”, “misogynist”, “sexist”, “sexism”, “racist”, “racism”, “classist”, “classism”, “discrimination”, and “patriarchy” are all used in specific ways to draw attention to the plight of marginalized people and challenge those who deny the existence of systems of oppression. Yet these words and their meanings can be twisted to attack, exclude, and invalidate people with differing opinions on any given topic. When social justice and feminist terms are thrown around antagonistically and carelessly to push a personal agenda, it becomes clear that these terms are being used to engage in disingenuous discourse and pursue personal validation rather than being used out of any deep-seated conviction to dismantle systemic oppression. Being an ally, activist, or feminist is not an identity, it’s a practice. It requires: ongoing self-reflection; holding ourselves accountable; listening to marginalized people; educating ourselves; dismantling implicit biases; challenging those around us who are exhibiting problematic behaviors; and action behind our words.

It’s important to be aware of the language that is used within the fandom when defending or critiquing characters and ships. It’s also important to question how an argument is framed and why it’s framed the way that it is to critically examine the intent behind that argument: is it used as a tool to push a personal agenda that reinforces problematic behaviors, or is it used as an opportunity to share, learn, enlighten, and educate?

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Tagging: @spell-cleavers @bookofmirth @m0bulidae @ilya-boltagon

#elain archeron #elriel #acotar fandom #acotar: fandom critical

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samwisethewitch · 4 years

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Witchcraft and Activism

The word “witch” is a politically charged label. If we look at how the word was used historically, it referred to someone who existed outside of the normal social order. The people accused of witchcraft in the European and American witch trials were mostly — experts say between 75% and 80% — women. They were also overwhelmingly poor, single, or members of a minority ethnicity and/or religion. In other words, they were people who did not follow their society’s accepted model of womanhood (or, in the case of accused men, manhood).

If you choose to identify with the witch label, you are choosing to identify with subversion of gender norms, resistance to the dominant social order, and “outsider” status. If that makes you uncomfortable or uneasy, then you may want to use another label for your magical practice. Witchcraft always has been and always will be inherently political.

In her book Witches, Sluts, Feminists, Kristen J. Sollee argues that the “slut” label is in many ways a modern equivalent to the “witch” label. In both cases, the label is used to devalue people, most often women, and to enforce a patriarchal and misogynist social order.

Superstitions around witchcraft are connected to the modern stigma around abortion (and, to a lesser extent, contraception). Midwifery and abortion were directly linked to witchcraft in the European witch hunts. Today, women who seek abortions are condemned as sluts, whores, and murderers. The fight for reproductive freedom remains inextricably linked with the witch label.

During the women’s liberation movement of the 1960s, the socialist feminist group Women’s International Terrorist Conspiracy from Hell (W.I.T.C.H.) used the image of the witch to campaign for women’s rights and other social issues. They were some of the first advocates for intersectional feminism (feminist activism that addresses other social issues that overlap with gendered issues). They performed acts such as hexing Wall Street capitalists and wearing black veils to protest bridal fairs. The W.I.T.C.H. Manifesto calls witches the “original guerrillas and resistance fighters against oppression.”

In her book Revolutionary Witchcraft, Sarah Lyons points out that both witchcraft and politics are about raising and directing power in the world. In a postmodern society, most of our reality is socially constructed — it works because we collectively believe it does. Money only has value because we believe it does. Politicians only have power because we believe they do. Our laws are only just because we believe they are. Like in magic, everything in society is a product of belief and a whole lot of willpower — and that makes witches the ideal social activists.

Lyons argues that witchcraft is inseparable from politics, because witches have always opposed dominant political power. She makes a connection between the witch trials and the rise of capitalism and classism. She connects the basic concepts of magic to historic activist groups like the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power (ACT UP), who used ritual as an act of protest.

Not every witch is a hardcore activist, but every witch should have a basic awareness of political and social issues and be willing to do what they can to make a difference.

Ways to Combine Witchcraft and Activism

Perform a ritual to feel connected to the earth and her people. Activism should come from a place of love, not a place of hate. Make sure you’re fighting for the right reasons by frequently taking time to reconnect with the planet and the people who live here. This can be as simple as laying down on the ground outside and meditating on all the ways you are connected to other people, as well as to the ecosystem, animals, and the earth herself. If getting up close and personal with the grass and dirt isn’t your thing, try to find a beautiful place in nature where you can sit and journal about the interconnected nature of all things.

Unlearn your social programming. This is the most difficult and most important part of any activism. Before you can change the world outside yourself, you have to change your own psyche. Think about how you have been socialized to contribute to (or at least turn a blind eye to) the issues you want to fight against. For example, if you want to fight for racial justice, you need to understand how you have contributed to a racist system. You can do this in a variety of ways: through meditation, journaling, or divination, to name a few. Note that whatever method you choose, this will probably take weeks or months of repeated work. Rewriting your thought and behavior patterns is hard, and it can’t be done in a single day. Also note that if you are a victim of systemic oppression or prejudice, this work may bring up a lot of emotional baggage — you may want to involve a professional therapist or counselor.

Go to protests. Sending energy and doing healing rituals is great, but someone has to get out there and visibly fight for change. If you are able to do so, start going to protests and rallies for causes you care about. Don’t just show up, but be an active participant — make signs, yell and chant, and stand your ground if cops show up. Be safe and responsible, but be loud and assertive, too. If you want to go all out, you can don the black robes, pointed hats, and veils of W.I.T.C.H.es past, which has the added bonus of concealing your identity.

Turn your donations into a spell for change. When you donate to a cause you care about, charge your donation with a spell for positive change. You can do this by holding your cash, check, or debit card in both hands and focusing on your desire for change. Feel this desire flowing into the money, filling it with your determination. From here, make your donation, knowing that you’ll be sending an energy boost along with it.

Organize an activist coven. Do you have a handful of friends who are interested in witchcraft, passionate about activism, or both? Start a coven! Go to protests together, hold monthly rituals to raise energy for change, and collect money for donations. Being part of a group also means having a support system, which can help prevent burnout. Make a plan to check on each other regularly. You may even choose to do monthly group rituals for self care, which may be actual magic rituals or might be as simple as ordering takeout and watching a movie. Activism can be intensely draining work, so it’s important to take breaks when you need them!

Hold public rituals with an activist slant. Nothing gets people’s attention like a bunch of folks standing in a circle and chanting. Holding public rituals is one of the best ways to raise awareness for a cause. You might hold a vigil for victims of police brutality, a healing circle for the environment, or some other ritual that is relevant to the issue at hand. These rituals serve a double purpose, as they both bring people’s attention to the issue and give them an opportunity to work for change on a spiritual level. Use prayers, chants, and symbolism that is appropriate to the theme, and ask participants to make a small donation to a charity related to your cause.

Begin your public rituals with a territory acknowledgement. If you live in the United States, chances are you live on land that was taken from the native people by force. If you seek to have a relationship with the land, you need to first acknowledge the original inhabitants and the suffering they endured so you can be there. Use a website like native-land.ca to find out what your land was originally called and what indigenous groups originally lived there. Publicly acknowledge this legacy at your ritual, and publicly state your intention to support indigenous peoples. (Revolutionary Witchcraft has an excellent territory acknowledgement that you can customize for your area.)

Make an altar to your activist ancestors. If activism or membership in a marginalized group is a big part of your life, you may want to create a space for it in your home. Like an ancestor altar, this is a space to remember influential members of the community who have died. Choose a flat surface like a tabletop or shelf and decorate it with photos of your “ancestors,” as well as other appropriate items like flags, pins, stickers, etc. As a queer person, my altar to my LGBTQ+ ancestors might include images of figures like Sappho, Marsha P. Johnson, and Freddie Mercury, as well as items like a pink triangle patch, a small rainbow pride flag, and dried violets and green carnations. You may also choose to include a candle, an incense burner, and/or a small dish for offerings. Just remember to never place images of living people on an altar honoring the dead!

Do your research. Staying educated is an important part of activism — not only do your actions need to be informed, but you need to be able to speak intelligently about your issues. Read the news (on actual news websites, not just social media). Read lots of books; some I personally recommend are Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson, Love and Rage by Lama Rod Owens, and (as previously mentioned) Revolutionary Witchcraft by Sarah Lyons. If you can get access to them, read scholarly articles about theories that are influential among activists, like the Gaia Hypothesis or Deep Ecology. Read everything you can get your hands on.

VOTE! And I don’t just mean voting for the presidential candidate you like (or, as is often the case, voting against the one you don’t like). Vote for your representatives. Vote for city council. Vote for the county sheriff. Voting gives you a chance to make sure the people in office will be susceptible to your activism. Yes, your side might lose or your electoral college representative might choose to go against the popular vote. Even so, voting is a way to clearly communicate the will of the people, and it puts a lot of pressure on the people in charge. It’s important — don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

In my experience, combining activism with my witchcraft is a deeply fulfilling spiritual experience. It strengthens my connection to the world around me, with helps grow both empathy and magical power. I truly can’t imagine my practice without the activist element.

Resources:

Witches, Sluts, Feminists by Kristen J. Sollee

Revolutionary Witchcraft by Sarah Lyons

The Study of Witchcraft by Deborah Lipp

The Way of Fire and Ice by Ryan Smith

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mostly-mundane-atla · 3 years

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Hi, I’m writing a fanfiction and from your posts on marriage it’s clear that Yue might actually have a lot of choices and agency for marriage specifically but I was wondering how much power does a wife have? I mean this in two ways, how much power does she have in the family and how much would a leader’s wife have in a community? Like, as wife of the chief (or daughter of the chief) would she ever make decisions for the community/lead or is it more an advisor thing or none of the above?

This is exactly my shit omg

So, a lot of people will say that among the Inuit, men dominate. This is not exactly true, and for the Inupiat specifically, it's been said that these preconceptions of men dominating or being seen as inherently superior or more valued are unfounded and based in misunderstandings and stereotypes. Men go out and bring food home to share with the village, but they understood that they would be foolish to think their wives had nothing to do with their success. Who was making their clothes and keeping them warm with mending so they could go out and bring home food? Who gave them a warm meal before? Whose forethought gave them peace of mind enough to sleep? Husbands and wives were interdependent and respected that. It's not a case of "yeah men are more valued, but women do the important work" but rather men and women both acknowledged that they each contributed things of equal importance. A wife wasn't obedient, she served her husband as her husband served her. The dynamic was built on trust and reciprocity.

There's also some stuff to be said about sexuality, because that's a big part in the perception of marriage and gender roles. The long periods of breastfeeding required to nourish children under the age of six years in such a harsh environment acted as a natural contraceptive. This gave women (and especially wives) a bit more wiggle room than there was to be found in cultures where contraceptives were tabooed. Sex wasn't something that had to be kept in a marriage. It wasn't something you were supposed to prioritize, but it wasn't something you had to save either. It was understood that most liked it because it felt good. There was no virginity requirement for marrying, and simply wanting or being curious about it was not considered morally wrong. Extramarital affairs were only looked down upon if there was dishonesty involved. Therefore, the whole concept of a husband's right to his wife? Not a thing among us. If any man wanted to sleep with any woman, she said yes or she said no and not always with words. (A lot of our communication is nonverbal, due to what could be described as a shy demeanor.) If she said no, maybe she'll change her mind, but a no for now is still a no, and the man in question was expected to respect that, and vice versa.

Men were often away tracking, hunting, whaling, doing what it took to bring the food in while women typically kept up the other duties. These were often outside the home in the warmer months, things like food prep and clothing and childcare, in social settings. The husband and father was given special consideration, as his work was more physically demanding, and the wife and mother would keep a store of food specifically for him that neither she nor the children they had would take from. In fact, the planning of food being stored, prepared, and distributed within the household was the wife/mother's responsibility. Such women, even those with arrogant or unthoughtful husbands, being smart with food can save entire villages from starvation. One story where this happens has the woman's husband fall to his knees and kiss her hands, full of both gratitude that she was among them and pride that someone like her chose to marry him.

This sort of power the women had over food manifested even in a young man's rite of passage. The first animal a boy ever successfully hunted was to be gifted to his mother or aunt. This first catch was typically something small like a bird or rabbit that the matriarch in question would make into a soup that could feed the whole family. And though it's true that men brought in the big game, women also provided through trapping, fishing, and bird hunting.

Due to men specializing in work that required long hours of attentive silence away from home, the more social aspects were handled by women. If you were arranged to be married to someone, it was more likely a discussion between your and your betrothed's mothers rather than fathers. This may have been why a young man who had never been married before needed to be deemed ready by his mother or other family member, while a young woman who had never been married before was trusted to know for herself.

So for the record: wives in general

-could have relationships with men who weren't their husbands

-didn't owe their husbands sex just because they were married

-had complete control over food distribution within the household, regardless of who brought it home

-were more involved with social things, like rites of passage and marriage arrangements.

Now when it comes to the Umialik, his wife (or "main wife" as it must be remembered: we were not a strictly monogamous people before the Christians showed up and decided they knew better than us) could lead in his name, but there's something that should be cleared up. The writers decided that it best suited the universe they created and the story they wanted to tell to treat the chief of the Northern Water Tribe as a monarch. This is not reflective of the way an Inupiaq Umialik was treated. While the image one might have based on Chief Arnook is one of higher quality clothes and a big beautiful house and delegating the grunt work to his subordinates, among the Inupiaq, leading the people meant putting more work into it. It was less about power and more about responsibility, and this responsibility was shared with his wife.

Among the Umialik's wife's responsibilities were sewing warm clothes for the whalers (she could recruit women of the village to help her), distributing food at a potlatch, and some important ceremonial roles to do with the whaling season. Like her husband, she was expected to remain chaste just before and during the whaling season. She was also expected to remain in the home while the whalers were away (a sort of pact with the whale, if that makes any sense), and when the whale was brought home, as with any other marine mammal catch, she was the one to pour water down its throat so it wouldn't die thirsty.

An Umialik likely did seek his wife's councel, but that would be true of any husband. Only an idiot would treat his wife like she has nothing of value to offer and a man ought to be humble enough to listen if he wants to marry. The Umialik was the man with the biggest family, likely because they would support his claim and it was hard to defy someone so connected to the village, but another reason could be that, with the largest family, he'd likely be exposed to the most states a person can find themself in, granting him more experience. As mentioned before, women were more in-tune with the social aspects than men usually were, so any wife but especially that of the Umialik would have an important perspective that her husband might not.

As for the Umialik's children in general, primogeniture was not the hard and fast rule among Inupiat as it wass with many cultures we're used to. An Umialik's daughter had no more rights than the average woman and his son had no more rights than the average man. They might find themselves on the receiving end of exceptional kindness to win their father's favor, but there was no guarantee either would inherit

#response #eskimo on main #i had to connect a lot of dots for this one so I hope you liked it

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restthecase1234 · 3 years

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HOW TO ACE AN INTERVIEW?

“You get an interview through connections or maybe your resume. You get a job through body language and a few compelling stories.” – Nick Morgan

Interviews are all about how you present yourself along with the knowledge that you possess. It’s about proper alignment of the goals of a company/organization with your personal goals. Hence, it’s important to be self-aware and to know the details of the job description, as well as the company.

Following are some factors that one should be kept in mind before going for an interview:

Know the difference between Resume, Biodata, and CV

A resume is a summary of one's education, skills, and employment when applying for a new job. Suited when experienced people apply for specific positions where certain specific skills are more important than education.

A C.V. lists out every skill, all the jobs and positions held, degrees, professional affiliations the applicant has acquired, and in chronological order. Suited for fresh graduates or people looking for a career change.

In biodata, the focus is on personal particulars like date of birth, gender, religion, race, nationality, residence, and marital status. Suited for government jobs, or research grants.

Do your homework

Company Research is essential before an interview. It shows the company that you care and are interested in the opportunity. It comprises of basic industry knowledge, company history and competitors, vision and mission statement, important products and services offered, company culture, and social websites.

Know yourself

It’s important to be self-aware as you should know your strengths, weaknesses, and potential. You’d always be required to introduce yourself in an interview so make sure that you know exactly what to say and always be ready for explanations on your hobbies and interests.

Dress to impress

First impressions are the last impressions. Make sure you’re smartly dressed. Don’t put on a lot of make-up and don’t wear tacky clothes. Be your confident self, always. Authenticity stands out.

Body Language and posture

Always sit straight and never use the backrest. Make sure that you are leaning forward as that’s an indicator of being interested. Never keep your hands and legs crossed. Do not fidget and always maintain space.

Below are some frequently asked questions along with answers:

What are your strengths and weaknesses?

Purpose:

- To assess your core competencies, integrity, authenticity

How to answer:

Strength:

-have a bank of 10 relevant strengths

- Real-life example and application of the strength

Weakness:

- Cannot contradict the strength

- Low impact but honest

- A weakness inconsequential to work

Why should we hire you?

Purpose:

- To check competencies and whether or not you’ve read the job description

How to answer:

- Precise point format

- Do not talk about how good the company is in this question.

-Tell them how you can contribute to the company

Why do you want to join the company?

Purpose:

- To showcase that you have read about the company

- Also, how your values match the company expectations

How to answer:

- Recent Achievements

- Exciting work proposition

- How you are a fit for the company culture: focus on your values

How did you face a challenge/ failure/ rejection? Or share an experience where you dealt with rejection?

Purpose:

- Analysing your problem-solving skills

- Checking your approach to tough situations

How to answer:

S: Situation (in a line)

T: Task (what was expected out of you)

A: Action (what steps did you take in that direction)

R: Result (What was the outcome)

Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years? / What are your long term and short term goals? Purpose:

- Check your level of planning

- Check whether you will stick to the company for a long period

- Check your holistic thinking

How to answer:

- Personally, my goals are: (mention 2)

- Professionally my goals are ( 3 points or 2 points you plan to achieve in the organization)

What is your salary expectation?

Purpose:

- A trick question

- To take commitments

How to answer:

- As per the market standards. (Never disclose the amount in the first go, let the interviewer disclose it)

- If the interviewer pursues then give your expectations in a range (20000-25000)

Tell us about your project?

Purpose:

- To understand the project and check your knowledge about the project

How to answer:

You give a two-line description of the work you did in the internship. This part has to be specific

Then you highlight what you learned in the internship followed by how you contributed to the company during the period.

Tell me about your work experience

Purpose:

- To see you as an employee

- To assess your efficiency

- To assess your strengths

How to answer:

- Name of the organization

- Job Role

- Achievements/ Contributions/ Recognitions

Why not a job/ PG course after graduation?

Purpose:

- Clarity for choosing the option

- Your thinking logic

How to answer:

- be honest about how the course or job will help you.

- What skillset you possess to make you an ideal candidate

Do you have any questions for us?

Purpose:

-This is a winning question. It is the last question asked and that is when you can make an impact on the interviewer for one last time. The answer depicts your presence of mind and also your confidence. Do not waste it in asking about company policies, timing, salary, joining date, etc.

How to answer:

You can ask the following questions:

It was a good interview. I would like to know who interviewed me. So can I know your names, please?

Can you share your journey in the company?

How has your experience been with the company?

Can you share the best aspect of working in this company according to you?

You always ask something to the panelist about themselves to create a positive rapport.

What are the traits of a good leader/ team player/ good work culture?

Purpose:

- Checking your presence of mind

- Articulation of thoughts

How to answer:

- Answer in point format (3 points or 2 main points are)

- Point-Reason- Example

- State examples for impact

Why do you want to join the company?

Purpose:

- To check whether you have researched about the company

How to answer:

- This is where you showcase the fact that you have read about the company.

- You talk about one good recent achievement of the company and then you speak of 2 values the company has and how it matches your strength.

What do you like to do outside of work?

Purpose:

- Assessing social life and different spectrum of your personality

- Helps determine if a match culturally for the organization

How to answer:

- Do keep it semi-professional, though, saying you like to have a few beers at the local hot spot on Saturday night is fine. Telling them that Monday is usually a rough day for you because you’re always hungover is not.

- Focus on social life

- Focus on hobbies

If you were an animal, which one would you want to be?

Purpose:

- See how you think on your feet

- No right or wrong answer

- Check- the presence of mind

How to answer:

- The animal

-Why the animal

- How strength similar

- Repeat the point

So these were a few ways that can help ace an interview. All the best!

Found this interesting? Find more such informational content in our Knowledge Bank and keep your legal knowledge at par.

#restthecase #how to ace an interview #law tips and information #interview tips #legal advice #online consultation

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