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#like y’all think I’m joking when I say I love anon hate but this is how I react LMFAO

7ndipity · 5 months

Text

Every Little Thing

Yoongi x Reader

Summary: When you overhear Yoongi talking about how clingy you’ve been lately, you decide to take a step back from your friendship to give him space. But your sudden absence goes far from unnoticed by him.

Word Count: 2k(wtf?!)

Warnings: angst, swearing, only partially proofread

A/N: Thanks so much to the lovely anon who requested this! This story, I... I don’t know what happened, I went from struggling to get it to work at all to getting waayy too carried away. I kinda had to stop myself at the end before it shifted into something else, but maybe if y’all want a part two, we can pick up from there?

Masterlist

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As you got off the elevator, you couldn’t help the faint bounce in your step as you made your way to Yoongi’s studio, your bag slung over one shoulder, a grocery bag of snacks and drinks for the two of you to share.

Ever since you and Yoongi(and in turn, the rest of the members) had become friends, The Genius Lab had become a hideaway of sorts for you. Whenever you were feeling stressed or overwhelmed, you knew you could call Yoongi, and he would tell you to come over, letting you camp out on his couch while he worked, occasionally asking for your thoughts or opinions on a specific song or line.

As you neared his studio door, you noticed it was slightly ajar, allowing the voices from inside to slip out into the hall, quickly recognizing them as Yoongi’s and Namjoon’s.

“You wanna come to lunch with me and Hoseok?” Namjoon asked.

“Agh, I can’t, I told Y/n’s we could hang out today.” You heard Yoongi’s chair creak as he stretched, letting out a groan.

“Again? That’s like the third time this week, people are gonna start thinking you’re a couple or something at this rate.” Joon joked, making your cheeks flush lightly.

“Nah, it’s nothing like that,” Yoongi replied, sounding tired. “They’re just being clingier than usual, you know what they’re like.”

You frowned at his words. What did he mean by that?

“I know it’s just cause they’ve been stressed lately,” Yoongi continued. “But honestly, it’s gotten to the point where it’s weirder for them to not be here.”

Joon chuckled. “I’m surprised you don’t find that annoying.”

“I didn’t say that I don’t,” Yoongi said. “But it’s Y/n, so I let it slide. Anyway, on that track you showed me-”

You stepped back from the door, the sudden tightness in your chest making it slightly difficult to breathe as you quietly made your back down the hall to the elevators. As the metal doors closed, you replayed what you had overheard in your head.

Yoongi had always told you that he didn’t mind you hanging around, but maybe you had started to abuse that privilege, grown too dependent on him. Was that how he really felt about you? Had you become a nuisance? And if so, why hadn’t he said anything?

Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you quickly found his number and hit the call icon, trying to swallow down the lump in your throat before he picked up on the second ring.

“Hey, are you almost here?” He answered, sounding much brighter than a few minutes ago.

“Uh, actually, I don’t think I can make it today.” You said, trying to keep your voice steady.

“Is everything okay?” He asked, concerned.

No, one of my best friends hates me. “Yeah, everything’s fine, something just came up, sorry.” You bit your lip, managing to slip out of the building without running into any of the other members and making your way down the street to the bus stop.

“Okay.” He sounded unconvinced. “Is it anything I can help with, or-?”

“No, no it’s-, it’s a work thing.” You said, the words falling flat on your own ears. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Alright.” He said reluctantly. “Bye.”

“Bye.” You hung up, letting out a deep breath.

You could tell he hadn’t believed you, but you didn’t really care at the moment. If he wasn’t going to be honest with you, why should you be any different?

Suddenly presented with the afternoon to yourself, you decided to head to the park, wandering along the river as you thought over everything.

You and Yoongi had come here together not long after you had moved to the city, the last few blooms of the cherry blossom season clinging on stubbornly to their branches. He’d promised to bring you back the next year, so you could see them in their full glory at peak bloom.

Of course, life and work had gotten in the way, as they often did, and before either of you had realized, the season had nearly passed again before he could keep his word. You’d told him at the time that it didn’t matter, you’d just been happy to spend time with him, a recurring theme for you apparently…

Had you been a bother to him back then as well? You didn’t believe so, but the earlier sting of his words had left you questioning everything, even if you knew it might be an over-reaction.

It was dark by the time you made it home, flopping down on the sofa with a tired sigh as you contemplated your options.

So you’d been bugging him lately, that was an easily fixable problem, right? Just leave him alone for a bit, it was as simple as that, wasn’t it?

You weren’t so sure as your phone suddenly buzzed on the cushion next to you, drawing your attention to Yoongi’s name illuminated on the screen. You’d forgotten you said you’d call him.

‘Hadn’t heard from you, just wanted to make sure you’re okay?’ The text read.

Now who’s the clingy one? Was your immediate first thought.

‘I’m fine, just tired. Talk to you tomorrow.’ You typed shortly before turning off your phone and going to bed, with no intention of texting him the next day unless he did so first.

For the next week, you tried to keep up with your new normal; you didn’t go by the studio, you avoided texting him unless he did first, and generally avoided his invites to hangout with vague excuses.

One place you couldn’t avoid him though was dinner with the other members. It was a monthly tradition that you usually looked forward to, but as you stepped through the door of the restaurant, you only felt a wave of nervousness, for what though exactly you didn’t know.

“Y/n!” Tae quickly hopped to his feet to give you a hug, the others all greeting you enthusiastically. You noticed Yoongi didn’t speak, only nodding to you politely, but his eyes never left you for a second, seeming to study your every move.

“Y/n, do you want my seat? I know you usually prefer to sit by Yoongi-hyung.” Jungkook asked, starting to get to his feet, but you quickly waved him to sit.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to move for me, I’m fine over here.” You said, settling in the free seat next to Jimin, which happened to be directly across the table from Yoongi.

Everyone quickly settled into their usual routines and conversations, the mix of voices blurring into an almost comforting buzz, allowing you to zone out for a moment and relax, but a single low voice managed to snap you back to attention.

“I haven’t seen you all week.” Yoongi said quietly, a noticeable heaviness in his voice.

“Yeah, things have just been kinda busy.” You tried to say convincingly, but it was hard to pull off under his gaze. Luckily, Jin asked you about something from the show you’d been watching and gave you an easy out of the conversation.

You managed to get through the evening well enough, talking with the others, even making plans with Jimin for him to help you pick out some new furniture for your apartment. You’d felt Yoongi’s eyes on you all evening, but hadn’t said anything.

It was later that night when you were pulled from sleep by the sound of someone knocking persistently on your front door.

Cautiously, you climbed out of bed and padded to the door.

Who’s there?” You called anxiously, trying to remember where you’d put your old baseball bat, in case you needed to defend yourself.

“It’s Yoongi.”

You froze, staring at the door in surprise for a second before going over and peering out the peephole.

Sure enough, he was standing on your doorstep, causing a brief sense of relief that was quickly replaced with confusion and the same nervousness from earlier.

Not quite knowing what else to do, you cracked the door open slowly, taking in his slightly disheveled state; hair mussed and faint bags under his eyes. He looked the same way as when he would pull all-nighters at the studio.

“What are you doing here?” You asked.

“Why’ve you been avoiding me?” He responded with his own question, staring you down.

“I-, I haven’t-”

“Don’t lie.” He stopped you.

Glancing around quickly, you pulled him inside, not wanting to have this discussion in the hall.

“You’ve been dodging my texts and calls, you wouldn’t sit with me at dinner, you asked Jimin for help with furniture shopping, which you know he’s terrible at.” He continued as you closed the door. “So, tell me please, what has happened to make you start ditching me?”

“Why didn’t you tell me that I was annoying you?” You snapped.

He stopped, staring at you in confusion. “What?”

“I heard you and Joon talking last week,” You said, his face falling as the memory came flooding back. “About how clingy I’ve been, and how I’ve been annoying you by hanging around so much.”

“You haven’t been-”

“Don’t.” It was your turn to cut him off. “Don’t try to tell me that it’s not true or you didn’t mean it. What I want to know is why you weren’t just honest with me?” You hated the way your voice started to shake as you spoke. “Why didn’t you just tell me to fuck off or something? Why do you put up with me if I'm such an annoyance?!”

“Because I fucking love you!” He blurted out.

You froze, staring at him in shock. “What?!”

“I-, I love you.” He said quietly.

“You love me?” You repeated, hurt and frustration still churning in your stomach, not letting you take his words to heart. “You love me, but you think I’m annoying?”

“I think everyone’s annoying!” He tossed his hands up in frustration. “The difference is that I like your annoyance!

“I like that you’re loud and weird and make terrible jokes, I like that you nag me to take better care of myself.” He said. “I like that you’re happy holed up in my studio with me. I like that you sing along to every song that you recognize, even without realizing that you’re doing it.”

He took a cautious step closer, pleading with his eyes as he spoke.

“I like every little annoying thing that you do, because they’re what make you you. I’m so sorry that I made you think anything otherwise.”

You hadn’t moved as he spoke, fighting the tremble in your lip as your eyes had misted over with tears.

“Y/n?” He asked anxiously.

You didn’t speak, choosing instead to lunge forward, wrapping your arms tightly around him in a bruising hug. He staggering back slightly at the force of the collision, arms immediately coming up to hold you in an equally tight embrace.

“I missed you.” You sniffled, burying your face in his chest.

“I missed you too.” He replied, holding you tighter, pressing a soft kiss to your head. “I’m also sorry for telling you I loved you in a shitty way.”

“Eh, it’s kinda on brand for us, honestly.” You teased, making him let out a huff of laughter.

“I guess you’re right, fuck.” He shook his head.

“You wanna try again?” You offered.

He pulled back to look at you. “Really?”

You nodded. “If you want to.”

He nodded, pulling away enough to take your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles as he pressed his lips together nervously, eyes shaking slightly as he met your gaze.

“I love you, Y/n.”

He’d barely gotten the last word out before your lips were on his, effectively shutting you both up for the next several minutes.

When you finally pulled back, his eyes were blown wide, lips swollen and red from your assault, his breaths coming out in shaky puffs.

“I love you too, by the way.” You said, grinning at his slightly dazed expression.

“Cool, c’mere.” He said, pulling you back in, making you giggle as he eagerly reconnected your mouths.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

#yoongi drabble #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x reader #yoongi scenarios #yoongi oneshot #bts x y/n #bts x reader #bts requests #bts angst #bts fluff #bts drabble #bts one shot #7ndipity

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misojunnie · 2 months

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DELICATE ─ psh. ☆ (teaser)

does love ever cross the line?

# genre: rich kid!enemy!sunghoon x fem!reader, forbidden love, enemies to lovers, slow burn, family feud, non idol au

# warnings: substances, lots of pining/angst, cursing, insults, mature jokes, implied sex, I have no idea how businesses work plz don’t roast me

# featuring: sunghoon & enha! + le sserafim

# playlist: delicate by taylor swift, take care by beach house, love by kendrick lamar, babydoll by dominic fike, hurts so good by astrid s

# a/n: hi y’all! I got this request a long time ago and only recently got to it, so I hope y’all like! lmk if u want to be added to the taglist! pls enjoy <3

# word count: 13.2k

# taglist: @lovialy @minniejenseo @powerpuffstuts @mnxnii @idkdykilr @ionlyreadforfanfics @heelovesmeknot @100520s @simjyunnie @scrumptiousloser @eneiyri @pinkkami @milkycloudtyg @enhypenlovre @pinkkami @m3chigo @saythenameseventeen178 @desistay @capri-cuntz.@taerifin open!

# unable to tag: @hohohobo

this was written upon anon request; check it out here!

when your father’s company cratered after a faulty business deal, a vendetta was formed between your family and the biggest export company in south korea. but that rivalry begins to falter when you fall in love with the ceo’s son.

[more under the cut!]

˗ˋ☆ˊ˗

Awards banquets were Sunghoon’s least favorite part of being in business. Forget the ruthlessness and backstabbing, dressing up in a suit and pretending to be successful blew all that warfare out of the water.

“It’s too tight.”

“It’s fine. You’ll be fine. Just stop complaining.”

“I’m not kidding, Jake. Loosen it or I’ll kill you.” Jake sighed, tugging on the navy blue tie until it was hanging loosely around Sunghoon’s neck, a stark and messy contrast to his crisp black suit and neat button up.

“Jesus Christ. After fifteen years, you’d think you’d know how to tie a tie.” Jake said, shaking his head as his best friend checked his hair in the mirror.

“Are you sure we have to go to this thing tonight?” Sunghoon huffed, brushing a stray piece of hair into place.

“Don’t be stupid. You’ve been going to these galas since you were six, and dragging me along with you.” Jake scoffed, pushing Sunghoon’s head from behind and ruining his hairstyle yet again, the latter glaring.

“You love it.” Sunghoon teased, tearing his eyes away from the mirror after checking his hair a last time. “God, I can’t believe we’re still having these idiotic galas. Everyone just knows they’re a coverup for big corporations to distract from the fact that they’re abusing their poor workers.”

“Nobody cares these days. Put a bow on anything and the media will eat it up.” Jake said, adjusting his tie before slapping his friend on the shoulder. “Ready to ruin some lives? Destroy some young futures?”

“Not funny.” Sunghoon warned, pointing his finger at Jake while trying to tug on his shoes with the other hand. “You know how much I hate the company.”

“Say that as much as you want, but you’re still wearing shoes bought with your daddy’s blood money.” Sunghoon huffed.

“Hm...I suppose you’re right.” he said, putting his hands on his hips.

“C’mon, let’s get you to the ball, Prince Charming.” Jake dragged Sunghoon out of the room by the wrist, locking it behind him, Sunghoon in tow.

Sunghoon sighed. God, how he hated his life. A legacy built on deception, and nothing he could do about it. Him and Jake made their way to the elevators, his dull eyes disappearing behind the closing doors.

He didn’t belong anywhere. Certainly not here.

˗ˋ☆ˊ˗

On the other side of the city, you were having an entirely different conversation.

“Take that off, Chae.” you said, biting into an apple. Your red lipstick bled into the fruit as you stared judgingly at Chaewon’s enormous diamond necklace.

“But it’s so pretty.” she crossed her arms, but you gave her a stern glance and she turned around to change with a roll of her eyes. “And you, put that out.” you swatted at Jay’s hand, a lit cigarette perched between his two fingers, roiling smoke spilling from the top. “You’re gonna make my new dress smell like smoke.”

“Jeez, what’s got your panties in a twist?” Jay asked, putting out his cigarette on the corner of the coffee table, which made you frown. “No need to stress. You’ve done this business routine a million times over.”

“I’m just nervous, I guess.” you said, hands fidgeting in your lap.

“I thought you didn’t care what the Parks thought about you.”

“I don’t.” you said firmly, tongue poking into the flesh of your left cheek. “I just want things to go smoothly, that’s all.”

“So you’re not gonna stand up to those fuckers that ruined your life? No protest?” Jay asked, resting his chin on his hand. “You always wanted to take them down.”

“Of course I do. But tonight’s not the night.” you sighed, rubbing your forehead, smudging your foundation and cursing when you realized what you had done. “I just want to be put together, just for one night.”

“Well you certainly look the part, honey.” he said, eyes trailing over your floor length red gown. “You’re a proper businesswoman.”

“I hope so.” you laughed.

“You’re gonna kill it. I know it for a fact.” Jay said, pressing a kiss to your cheek before standing. “Now let’s get you to this ball.” You grinned up at him, getting to your feet and brushing the dust off your skirt with determination.

“Let’s show these people who our company is.”

˗ˋ☆ˊ˗

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queenofallimagines · 9 months

Note

oh good gods pls your luciferian hcs made me YELL they’re so good lmao i was side eyeing my altar and space for lucifer the WHOLE TIME

do you think you could do a part two? and if possible, nsfw? if not thats more than okay!! thank you and i hope you’re doing so good!!!

🕷️anon

Absolutely 🕷anon! AND LMAO YEAH I COULD FEEL HIM SIDE EYEING ME ACROSS THE ROOM AS I WROTE THESESGSHSJS asking the old man “why are you like this” whenever lucifer in game does something corny😭 ik he’s sick of me

Lucifer:

- Okay so since part 1 was when you arrived this will be more about day to day life in the next term

- Right off the bat I’m imagining minor petty spats that the other brothers are like…. Wtf is going on here

- Like y’all have been glaring across the table at one another for 30 mins and haven’t spoken a word

- WAY more picky w offerings lmao

- Is literally going to be super extra about it for no reason other than to bother you

- For example! When you give an offering to oshun( African orisha they’re like the HR in the heaven department just above the angel hierarchy) you have to eat a little first bc she was poisoned once so it’s like to show you’re in good faith

- Lucifer will ask you to do that w food you don’t like

- “Eat some”

- “I got this for you-“

- “And I want you to taste some😌”

- “….. do I really I have to???”

- “Are you telling me what to do w MY offering🤨”

- MAKE FUN OF HIM PLEASE ITS SO FUNNY!!

- A lot of people ( white peoples I fear😔) be talking about he only accepts blood offerings and you have to sell your soul or whatever and stuff but literally this man will be giddy over a red candle w gold glitter

- Write all your assignments in sparky pen so when he looks at them he can’t hold back a smile

- As a joke you leave crystals associated with him in his coat pockets but he will never take them out

- Congratulations you played ya self

- You doing the stuff you do for him out of habit will fluster him if you say it

- “Why are you waking up so early to get ready?”

- “Hm? For Lucifer”

- “No im not gunna drink this tea it’s an offering🙄”

- Please don’t tell his brothers he will lock himself in his office💀

- Whenever you google “what can I do for Lucifer” 9/10 the first thing will be taking care of yourself

- So when your self caring w asmo and you go “oh I do this bc Lucifer likes it”

- The house will expose in chaos

- Mammon demanding you tell him your card numbers “for him” LMAO

- They’re all super jealous

- Gotta tell em its nothing personal he’s just always been there for you

- Whew if he reached out to YOU?

- The silence in the house REAL LOUD😭

- Belphegor waking up and going “ik you fucking lying!!!”

- You’re all confused like???

- “…..you said Lucifer… reached out to YOU?”

- “??????yeah????”

- “As in… he ASKED you to work with him?”

- “Yeah, I couldn’t stop thinking about his name and he showed up on my door one day”

- Lmao belphie and mammon are the LOUDEST FR

- “YOU CHOSE A HUMAN?? MR I HATE HUMANS BECAUSE THEYRE WEAK??📸”

- OH SO THERES MORE THAN ONE FAKE BITCH IN THIS HOUSE HUH?”

- lmao he’s sitting there red faced clenching his fist like

- “Listen I can explain”

- He cannot explain😭

- Can’t even say he did it on a whim

- “He really picked me up like a wet cat lmao”

- “Mc I am literally begging you to shut the FUCK up”

- Oh maaaaan diavolo will get a Kick out of this!!

- Solomon is very salty

- “But I can’t get a pact😒😒”

- He’s literally going to double down and bother him more

- “Lucifer you never told me you were taking on disciples🥺”

- “I didn’t think it was that important lord diavolo simply to pass the time”

- Simeon is laughing but internally having the feels bc he’s like 🥹 “even after all this time you still choose to be a guardian angel”

- Will tell you embarrassing stories about him he is now super close to you

- “Lucifer being the lords favorite was also the best one at singing👀 he loved music”

- That’s tru btw lmao Lucifer was like one of the angels who liked singing the most thats what makes humans and angels so alike- love for music and dancing-

- Call him your morning star and he MELTS

- Back to why were really here😌

- Call him that during sex or when you first wake up and he’s on cloud nine

- FUCK HIM DURING GOLDEN HOUR🗣🗣

- He’s literally he rises in the morning for a reason!!

- He will deadass purpose bc imagine riding him as the sun stars peaking over the horizon

- He’s under you moaning looking up at you w the most glazed over love struck eyes

- The sun filtering through the window and hitting him juuuuuuuust right

- That it looks like he has a halo again

- Breathlessly calling your name as you grind down on him

- He barely manages to get out that he’s close before you caress some of his hair out of his face

- “Cum for me then my Morningstar”

- Time freezes for like 16 seconds and his eyes are getting teary

- He hugs you close as he starts rutting his hips into you harder

- Will cum and keep going until he’s about to pass out

- Holding you like a lifeline

- When you can finally breathe and think straight he pulls you in for a kiss

- Literally stealing your breath away

- Will say I love you in the most honest voice ever while smiling at you with teary eyes

- probably won’t stop touching you all day might as well just spend it in bed

-is embarrassed by body worship calling it now

- be HE can do that but if YOU sink to your knees behind his desk and hold eye contact he’s getting nervous

-“just showing my devout gratitude💕”

- embarrassed how fast he finishes

- if you keep doing to overstimulate him he’s putty in your hands

- this man is very soft he will crack at the slightest sign of domestic romance

- bring him coffee when he wakes up?

- he’s already selected a wedding venue

- I always thought it would be cute if he gave you his ring

- HILARIOUS IF HE DOSENT TELL YOU LMAO

- You swing by the celestial realm and it’s crickets and you’re like ??? Fuck is y’all starring at??🤨

- Simeon hums and says that nobody expected lucifer to get married much less to a human. How he was never one to put anything above his responsibilities

- Excuse me?

- “You’re wearing the right of light,yes? He doesn’t just give that to anyone dear. You two are bonded for life now🥰”

- “HELLO????”

163 notes · View notes

bp-zb1fics · 1 year

Note

Something cute with Zhang Hao where the reader became close with one of the boys (Jiwoong maybe?) and he's jealous because poor boy has the biggest crush on reader :( with a cute lil confession? 🥰

A real kiss~

pairing: jealous zhang hao x long time friend reader ft. jiwoong as the cause of drama (jk)

pronouns: none used

genre: canon au, fluff, humour

tw/tags: introvert things, nicknames, jealousy lol, jiwoong giving hands-on acting lessons (maybe a lil too hands-on for hao but he’s just being nice y’all), woong best wingman (yes he can sense the tension), kdrama mention, flashback, kissing, confessions

wc: 1175

summary: maybe hao’s a teeny little bit jelly of how well you get along with jiwoong.

a/n if any of you saw this earlier than scheduled, it's because tumblr hates me and likes to confuse me constantly~ anyways thanks for the req anon, this was really cute and i enjoyed writing it very much, a little content note: xiào xiào is a nickname used for kids who are like happy or smiley but hao calls mc that bc they make hao happy shdsd ok if any better mandarin speaker would like to correct me or suggest another nickname, just lmk~

check my pinned for more fics!

Zhang Hao likes to think he’s a fairly laid back person.

Or at least, that’s what he likes to think when you’ve been deep in conversation with Jiwoong for the past hour and not spending time with the person who actually invited you over (him).

Okay maybe he isn’t being fair. You’ve also, over the past hour, checked in on him and tried your best to involve him in your conversation. It’s just that Hao is an introvert and today is one of the days where he doesn’t feel like making it a three way conversation. Also they’ve mostly worked it out but he and Jiwoong still have their awkward moments so there’s that too.

“You alright Hào hào?” Well at least he can enjoy the fact you’re using the nickname that only you call him. (Because absolutely no one else is allowed to call him that ever).

“I’m fine, Xiào xiào.”

You had joined Yuehua around the same time, Zhang Hao as an idol trainee while you were preparing to go into acting. To say you were close would be an understatement. You clicked immediately, the other Yuehua trainees would joke that you were Hao’s co-parent with how often you would come over to their dorm with food.

Hao spent every free day he had off the program with you if both of you weren’t busy. Sometimes you’d even accompany him to visit his subway ads, obviously sporting a mask and hat and keeping it lowkey so as not to draw attention to yourself. While you’ve been an extra or had a line or two for a few drama gigs, you haven’t exactly made your public debut just yet.

It just so happened that you’d be working with Jiwoong on your first minor supporting role in The Good Bad Mother, alongside your actor sunbaenim in Yuehua who had the starring role. The eldest hyung also happened to have quite a bit of experience in acting and you happened to have questions. While your company sunbaenims and teachers were helpful, they were also quite busy and you didn’t want to bother them too much.

“So for kissing scenes-”

Suddenly, Hao’s full attention is on you as you ask his bandmate how one goes about filming such scenes. He’s not dumb. Hao knows once you start getting bigger roles, you might do scenes like that. But dammit, he wants to be your first kiss, not some actor who’s playing your love interest.

“You’ve never been kissed before?”

It’s one of those moments where you’re too tired from the hours and hours of PR training, Hao preparing for Boys Planet and you for the eventual conferences and public appearance you’ll make once you make your acting debut.

“It’s not that.” You sink into the sofa of the little room you’ve been in for hours, learning how to avoid getting a bad edit on camera.

“It’s just that none of them really meant anything, you know? It was for fun, for a dare or some shit like that. To figure out whether I liked boys or girls or both. I just don’t think it’s a real kiss, you know?”

“What’s a real kiss then?”

You’re quiet for a bit and Hao’s about to move on with the conversation when you speak again.

“With someone I like. I’d be nice to kiss someone I like. Someone who likes me too.”

I like you, Hao thinks. I’d like to kiss you.

He could do it. He could offer. But he’s shy and your friendship is only a few months old and he’s going to get shipped off to this Mnet program soon. So instead he says:

“That sounds nice. I’ve never thought of it that way.”

“Maybe because you’re the type to go around kissing everyone, Mr. Campus prince.”

You tease.

“Hey! I wasn’t like that at all.”

Hao protests. You grin mischievously and your conversation devolves back to light, playful back and forth.

But Hao doesn’t forget.

Maybe that’s the day that he decides to try and become the someone you like.

Jiwoong’s hands are on your shoulders. Zhang Hao’s not sure when that happened but he does know that he doesn’t like it.

“So my hands should go here?” You ask, patting Jiwoong's rib cage. He nods, expression completely placid and wholly focused on teaching you how to manoeuvre yourself.

“You can also put it on their waist, the director will be giving you instructions and you can monitor yourself on camera between takes as well.”

You nod thoughtfully, tentatively placing your hands on him. Zhang Hao’s fingers twitch, just a little. Most of the members who had been filtering in and out of the room seemed to have disappeared. It’s just him, you, and Jiwoong.

Which is why you decide to lean in, your face just about a few inches away from the eldest ZB1 member.

“So I just go like this?”

That’s it. Hao’s had enough. He can’t do this. He can’t watch you anymore.

“Xiào xiào?”

Hao’s careful not to show how happy he is when you pull away from Jiwoong and look at him. His hyung must have sensed it anyway, standing up and saying he’s supposed to meet Seobin soon. You thank him for the help, he says you can text him anytime (Hao’s not sure how to feel about that one) and then he leaves the two of you alone.

“There goes my acting teacher.” You pout a little and Hao can’t help himself.

“You came here to spend time with me, not take lessons from Jiwoong-hyung.”

“Awww, is Hào hào jealous?”

“I miss you.” He says instead of answering, hugging your side like he usually does.

You hug him back, and in a small voice, you admit.

“I’ve missed you too, Hào hào.”

There shouldn’t be anything special about the moment. You’ve done this before, hugged like this before, said things like this before. But this time, he just-

Hao pulls away, his arms still wrapped around you loosely. It’s just enough so he can see your eyes, looking at him, he can’t read you too well, he swears his heart’s beating so loudly that you can hear it. But you don’t pull away. He leans in.

His lips are soft against yours, you can feel the slightly sticky sensation of the lip balm he uses, taste a little of the tea he was drinking a while ago. It’s warm and nice and it feels perfect.

His arms slide to your waist and your fingers circle around his shoulders, holding onto the fuzzy knit fabric of his cardigan. You can smell the perfumed lotion he uses, pleasantly floral and addicting. He keeps kissing you. You keep kissing back.

Hao only stops when his heart feels like it’s going to give out, catching his breath and looking at you with your flushed cheeks and swollen lips. He can’t help but ask.

“Was that a real kiss?” I like you so, so much.

“I think it was, Hào hào.” I like you too.

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engagemythrusters · 1 month

Note

Choose violence ask game:

the character everyone gets wrong

which ship fans are the most annoying?

worst part of fanon

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

(Sorry when I copied it, the numbers didn't stick to the text)

VIBE These are tasty! thank you for copying the questions fr I hate going back and forth between the sheet and the ask so BLESS you’re a real one for this

Character everyone gets wrong

Like Skywalker. He’s not an uwu twink… he never has been… what the fuck Star Wars are you WATCHING. Like some of you only read the Chanel boots tweet and thought that was the only notable thing from three whole movies of character development.

Oh also Mace Windu. He’s not a scary dictator sort of person—you’re just projecting your anti-Black fantasies onto him.

Ships that are the most annoying?

Codywan. I’m saying it out loud now. The whitewashing… the objectification… the blatant ignoring of Cody as a HUMAN BEING… also Obi-Wan is the next up on the mischaracterised list bc everyone turns him into an UWU baby too. Also codywan fans straight up first anon hate I ever got. I think I deleted them but like. That was the moment I was absolutely D O N E. no thanks. God. Fuck off n leave me alone.

Worst part of fanon?

“Empire was right” and “the Jedi were the bad guys” idiots. Literally what the fuck. Cannot believe people like that exist, but here we are.

Oh also Max Rebo fans who send anon hate for weeks for some RIDICULOUS poll? And they were dead serious about it too. Wild. That was dumb as shit.

Mad/ashamed/horrified I actually like…

Um I don’t think I’m truly upset by anything I enjoy? Like I do love to joke about my Rexwalker enjoyment, but I’m not truly embarrassed by it. Just for the bit. Just so Olly doesn’t get THE SATISFACTION. Otherwise nah I’m pretty fine enjoying what I enjoy. If people have issues with anything I enjoy it’s usually never my preferences that are the problem anyway

🫡 it was nice knowing y’all. I’ll be murdered once this post goes out to the public.

#c****** fans and empire fans gonna kill me #anyway. thank you for the ask!!!

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thelonesomequeen · 8 months

Text

Here is a master post of some of your asks. A lot of you had commentary to add after the newest DM podcast and I did get to some asks, but I wanted to make a space to post all opinions that we received. Below are anon submissions, not the commentary from moderators of this blog.

🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

I have a hard time believing the narrative of his family not liking her but inviting her to all the family events, parties and more./ Anon is forgetting is that in some of those events, Chris was probably the one paying the bill. So she will go and they will say nothing.

🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

How is Chris rushing to get married? They've been together long enough that I wouldn't call this rushing. I hope it all works out for him. My husband and I had people we were close to doubt our marriage, and it sucked. Every time we've hit a rough patch, I've wondered about the "I told you so's" we would get if it all fell apart. But we're still together almost two decades later, and counseling has been really helpful for both of us and the marriage. So, I say good luck to Chris and Alba. I wish them the best. I wouldn't want them to have to go through the pain of a divorce.

🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

Man I don’t get this. Even if he is rushing to get married, why are y’all acting like he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s a 40 year old man, i’m sure he’s not forcing himself to get married just to be a husband. And i’m sure he’ll get a pre-nup because he hasn’t been in the industry for 20+ years and built up a career by being an idiot. They way some of y’all infantilize him is just insane. I don’t even care for Alba but y’all are acting like she hasn’t had multiple opportunities to use him for money. She could’ve easily gotten pregnant and gotten child support if she wanted instead of living in bumfuck Massachusetts for a year and going through a whole possible marriage. You know how much hate she would get if she divorced him and took his money. Even the five Chris fans who like her now are gonna hate her even more. There are valid reasons to dislike her, but this one just doesn’t stick.

🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

Ok so if some people in this fandom are gonna believe that his family doesn’t like her, they will have believe that they’re engaged to be married right? Or are they gonna pick and choose the info to believe that best fits their theories.

🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

I don’t know I just find it hard to believe what dm said about his family. Some of them might not love her but maybe to tolerate her instead of outright dislike. But still I have doubts because he’s so close with his family especially his mother. Plus his best friend of several years seems to like her too. I just don’t think he’ll marry someone when his family doesn’t like her. This also reminds me a lot of what someone said during the Jenny days that his mom didn’t like her either.

🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

Who in this fandom is happy about the current state of things? Literally no one.// please don’t speak so broadly for everyone! I for one am okay with the relationship (I don’t think Alba is problematic at all- her friends are a different matter), I am very happy he found love and wish them both the best. The only current “state of things” I am unhappy about is the way some parts of the fandom is behaving: the hateful nicknames, the internalized misogyny, the hate based lies, the xenophobia.😞😒

🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

So why is he marrying her if his family don’t approve?/// My apologies for the light snark but: are you kidding?! You have to be joking?! Irrelevant of his reasons, so what if his family MAYBE doesn’t approve, it’s his life not theirs! Do you live your life based on your family approval over any decisions? College? Career? Love interest?- if you do I feel deeply sad for you. You live your life for you; family advice can be taken into consideration but not dictating it. & He’s online that’s why!

🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

cause she was 21/22 when he followed her, right? 😬 yikes)// she was 23, and he followed a bunch of other actresses all working for Netflix too, so it’s clear as day the follow wasn’t romantic but likely work related, and likely and unintentionally it eventually turned romantic. Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants 🤷‍♀️ we don’t have control over who we fall in love with, they’re both legal, she was in her mid 20 she’s old enough. Plenty of high age difference marriage in Hollywood.

🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

Okay so it seems as though (to me) he’s rushing to get married // rushing? How is dating someone for over a year and being engaged for nearly a year, getting married after being together for over 2 years is a “rushing”?! That’s the standard timeline for many couples I have ever met. They say you know within the first 6 months it you’re in love and if this is the person for you.. sounds to me he knew and acted upon it. Rushing would be if they eloped within a week or even 5 months, that’s rushing

🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

I think it could be the rushing into it, but he very obviously wants kids and it's always risky to have kids with a partner that potentially will live overseas if the marriage ends. I hope he is at least thinking about that. I mean Chris has money she doesn't, but custody could turn ugly. I would definitely be worried about that if I was a family member.

🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

For what we know he was seeing/hooking up with other girls before Alba so if that Taxi cab theory was the case why Alba and not the rest?

Also someone that desperate wouldn’t wait 2 years to get married and have kids I don’t know just my two cents 🤷🏼‍♀️

🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

I don't think there may be issues if she decides to stay home and put her career on hold to have children or just follow him around, like she seems to be doing now. The age difference, expectations in life, cultural difference will enter sooner or later. I don't see this lasting.

🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

But…I give it a handful of years maybe? I think it’ll get to a point where the age difference isn’t an issue now, but I think it will be eventually

I think he very much wants kids so I can absolutely see them having one or two, staying together to try and make stuff work for them but eventually divorcing. That’s not really saying much considering divorce isn’t exactly uncommon these days.

🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

Real or not, I agree that it is likely his family is a bit disappointed in his choice. Maybe not Scott, but his mom and sisters seem pretty down to earth and grounded. I doubt they would approve of the age gap or the character of who he chose. After waiting for so long, it is sad to see who he finally picked.

🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

That man loves his family and I don’t think he will marry anyone that they don’t approve of imo

🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

Watching them fixating on the part that some of his family members “don’t like her”

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thesungod · 1 year

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hey I just finished the book & wanted to complain somewhere & I saw all ur anons etc about it so I hope this is ok!

but I just thought it was so unbearably...cringe. I can't quite remember how blatant the ‘messages’ were in the other books & maybe it was because I was very young when I read them but I can't remember them being so...unsubtle. & of which were just generally not good. It felt like there was some lesson constantly being repeated, nothing in the subtext to interpret, & I know that it is obviously aimed to younger readers but they still have the skills of inference lol. & Idk I haven't read anything past BOO I don't think but I can't remember any of the others being so relentlessly unserious.

obviously not asking him to write some abstract horror lol but I think even younger readers could engage with a more challenging text. I don't understand the point of the Tartarus plot line (which is constantly reinstated as being this awful, terrible etc etc place) if it's ‘horrors’ are not going to be explored.

what was good in the other books was how we didn't really know much about what happened to Nico there, & could only infer through the very obvious trauma—and even the PercyAnnabeth bits were more mature...I don't know. it just seems like reintroduction if it is less ‘scary’ in a way than the first time around & cheapens in a little. I think there is so much potential that just wasn't explored at all!

plus I just thought the dialogue was so so bad. obviously it's not going to be all serious. but it just seemed like bad one liner after bad one liner to the point they seemed ingeniune & lazy. So much dialogue that could have been used to build a relationship was used to unfunny jokes (which we were constantly being told were jokes! U shouldn't have to tell us a joke is a joke!) & when there were ‘heartfelt’ moments between them they seemed regurgitated out of some trauma self-help book lol. We were told directly of their thoughts about one another so often that the miscommunication & arguing just seemed repetitive...

& I had to half skip thru that later scene of Nico & Piper it was just so so cringe. Don't even know what to say about it lol.

Ok. this has been so long I'm sorry. I'm just too much of a hater....

tdlr: book was bad. characters were cringe.

What I hate is that thanks to this book, my legacy will be being a hater. That’s so fucked up because I literally hate being a hater I enjoy everything my bar is so low.

I watch 99% of movies and think “wow this was fun!”. I liked Pretty Little Liars. All seven seasons. I read the After books. I’m an enjoyer. I love trashy fun.

(Complaining under the cut!)

The problem is exactly that this wasn’t fun😭😭 The messages were so on the nose and blatant. Characters were having conversations for the readers and that’s so bad from a writing standpoint. It was a constant fourth wall and immersion breaking but it was not done intentionally. I got pulled out of the narration all the time.

The dialogues were either “unfunny meme unfunny meme unfunny meme” or self help Ted Talks.

Exactly what you said about Tartarus being scarier because we didn’t know what exactly had happened to Nico. Obviously flashbacks were going to happen, but there was really no subtlety ever, in anything, and i don’t get it because 12-14 year olds can read the Classics, or higher level YA fantasy such as The Hunger Games, and are generally beginning to enjoy a broader scope of fiction. They are not preschoolers. Have faith in them.

Also it’s useless to pretend Rick isn’t aware of his older fanbase. Who do y’all think he’s milking the series for? Newborns that will read it in 10 years? Writing a book for kids that’s enjoyable, even if considered a bit juvenile or simple, for adults too is perfectly doable. “Family movies” are based on this exact concept.

Hell, The Hunger Games is for kids!! Not as young as 10, but still for kids (13-16)!! And look at how it’s written!!!

Overall, I don’t deny that the book is full of important messages and if kids got something out of it, then good. But it’s not well written. From pretty much any point of view.

#ask

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the1975attheirverybest · 9 months

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(same anon) and YES!! Why can’t he grow as a person? Fans beg and plead for apologies or explanations and when he gives them, it still isn’t enough. This is the same way, I guess. It seems like people are always questioning him, especially since this persona/performance art stuff started, but I feel like it’s obvious when he’s being genuine? It isn’t just an act that he’s made up for the hell of it, his real emotions bleed into it.

Also I’m not sure how many people have listened to his Karate podcast episode back in 2021, but he says he thanks the “atheistic, or I as I get older, “God”, I don’t know, whatever’s up there” for the success of the band. Something along those lines, which is pretty consistent with everything he’s said about religion since 2018/2019.

I find it very interesting and I respect that he shares his thoughts and beliefs in real time, and that he isn’t afraid to adjust them later. It isn’t disingenuous or backtracking and I hate that people feel that way.

Yesssss. And he’s always said that if religion or spirituality is about belief in a higher power or in something bigger than yourself, then he does believe. For him that’s music. That’s how he feels about his art and the way that it can become larger than him and bring people together. I think that’s what he was thinking about in Chicago when he said that society these days is about us defining ourselves by what we are against and yet at a music festival here we all are coming together not cuz we hate something but cuz we all love music and then said “I understand religion now….not the naughty bits” haha.

So, I think concepts of “faith” and “spirituality” kind of changed for him over time. As they should! Human beings evolve and change. If you’ve been consistent from the age of 20 ish to the age of 34 then…ooof. Maybe you gotta be doing some internal reflection lol.

Yeah, I know y’all are tired of me saying this cuz I say it all the time but I really think that matty often uses the persona as a “trick” so he can ACTUALLY EXPRESS SINCERE AND HONEST THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS. Like it’s not always super unclear if he’s joking or not. In fact I think most of the time it is clear. He wouldn’t bullshit his way through stuff like this!

But I guess that’s too nuanced and thoughtful for the singular braincell that runs all of Twitter so people don’t like to have to stop and thinking and consider the possibility that change happens cuz it’s uncomfortable lol.

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dai-nana-han-agenda · 2 years

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One thing I don't like about SNS fans is that some of them feel the need to drag Sakura through the mud in every one of their posts. Calling her a gay beard, saying she is nothing more than a device to convey Naruto’s feelings, calling her catty and jealous of Naruto because Sasuke likes him more than her, etc...

Like, Sakura deserves criticism just like everyone else does, but there's a fine line between criticism and just making shit up like saying Sakura was willing to give Naruto over to the Akatsuki just because of that line where she said getting closer to the Akatsuki would get them closer to Sasuke. Yes, before you ask, I have seen every single one of these claims in SNS posts before.

Like, I'm not the biggest fan of her, but I honestly just feel bad at this point. I know you're a big fan of her so what do you think?

omg anon, I just got war flashbacks to 2014 send help HFKDHKSHSKS.

I honestly did not expect my answer to be as long as it is (that’s on me, I should’ve known that I’d be incapable of shutting up) so I’m putting the rest of the response under the cut!

I feel the need to clarify to anyone that reads this: I am also a SNS fan so please don’t come for me!! I know there are plenty of SNS fans that are also Sakura stans (or at the very least, don’t have any strong opinions abt her character, which I’ll always take over the overly-negative ones) but there is definitely no denying that there’s a small percentage of that fandom who actively hate Sakura for things that are literally out of her control.

You basically summed up how I feel about the whole thing. I think there are legitimate reasons to dislike Sakura as a character, but once people start twisting the narrative - that’s when I get defensive. It’s been proven time and time again that Sakura has nothing but love for both Naruto and Sasuke (once again, I am asking the fandom to stop holding her hostage for shit she said in the very beginning of the manga!!) so this argument that Sakura would be catty / jealous / homophobic because of SNS’s bond literally makes no sense to me.

(Like, seriously. If y’all have CANON evidence, please feel free to let me know and we can discuss it! But most of the time, it’s just people deliberately twisting canon to fit their own personal agenda.)

In terms of the jealousy aspect, I personally don’t mind the characterization that Sakura would be jealous on like, a human level. I understand that. When the people you’re close with enter romantic relationships - especially in this case, when it’s literally her teammates - I think there’s a very natural sense of loss and envy that comes with that. Even in a platonic sense, when you feel that two of your friends have a stronger bond, or that they can connect on a level you will never understand, I think it’s very natural to feel jealous or left out. However, in my opinion, that jealousy would never turn into resentment or bitterness. Sakura has always valued the happiness of team, so at the end of the day, I genuinely think she would be supportive and it pisses me off when SNS fics paint her as this jaded ex / the villain of their ship. Like, y’all are going out of your way to make her the bad guy, and for what?

It’s funny, I’ve actually read SNS fics where authors are actively aware that Sakura wouldn’t be bitchy, but write her as a bitchy character anyway because they need a villain for their story. Like... maybe you should take a step back and examine why you feel the need to make her purposefully homophobic.

As for the jokes about her being a beard for Sasuke - well. When done without any real malice, I think they can be funny. But as a casual SS fan, I do think they get old really fucking quickly. Sakura literally has no agency & it baffles my mind when people blame her for ending up with Sasuke (I’m not even pulling this out of my ass - I’ve literally seen these takes.) Like, take it up to Kishimoto!! Leave her alone!! It’s so funny to me when people come up with these wild conspiracy theories as to how Sakura “tricked” Sasuke into marrying & having a child with her as if these aren’t characters with no real agency at the mercy of a heteronormative author. I totally understand if y’all disagree with SS - I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but I also take issue with how their canon relationship played out - but people who hate Sakura for ending up with Sasuke as if she had any real control over the matter... It honestly makes me laugh. It’s genuinely funny. Like damn, a fictional character who isn’t even the villain of the show really gets your blood boiling that badly - it’s very girlboss of her!

Also, I just need to throw this in here because it’s come up on my TL a few times and I want to vent: I honestly cannot fucking stand Boruto, none of that shit is canon to me, but SNS stans who deliberately make hateful jokes about how Sasuke purposefully abandoned Sakura and Sarada because he doesn’t actually love them... Like, that’s not the slay you think it is. Y’all are making fun of Sakura for having to be a single mother, but I think there’s something super fucking tragic about the fact that Sasuke, who has so much love for his family and his clan, basically abandons Sarada in her early childhood. I know he has his reasons, but in my opinion, it does a great disservice to his character. Idk, the Sasuke I know would never, but Kishimoto simply does not understand him like I do. Idk, I don’t watch Boruto, so I can’t really give a fully formed opinion about this, but this has been sitting on my mind for the past few days and I wanted to put it out there.

All this to say, I can’t control how anyone thinks. I’m waaaaay past the point where I feel the need to fight with anyone whose opinions I disagree with - the block & mute buttons are my friends and I use them often. As long as no one comes into my space and starts talking shit, especially since y’all KNOW Sakura is my ride or die, then I’m just living my best life.

#thank u for the ask!!!#i can literally talk abt naruto all day like how the fuck did this answer get so long lmfao #anyways - i feel the need to clarify that i love the sns fandom #every fandom has that ugly negative side - that’s why you just mute certain words & block people that deserve it ♥️#i just wish antis would disappear like #it’s mf 2022. the anime has been over since 2017. how are y’all still starting shit 😭#truly baffling to me that i still see the same arguments that i saw back in 20fucking14 #like it’s been 8 years and y’all still don’t have critical thinking skills? lmao #pro sakura haruno #ask #text post

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kingofbodyrolls · 8 days

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Ohh the emoji for an anon sounds cool! And I found the perfect one so you know it’s me— since I talked about ‘old’ school language, I’ll be an old woman! 👵 LOL (I’m actually in my 30s tho! Not that old 😅)

Since you mentioned the Aussie accent, that’s easier to imagine as I’m from NZ and people say our accents are similar (we’re not similar tho and we hate being compared to Aussies 🥲😂)

Mind you, I can’t picture BTS with Aussie accents. Its too weird and too close to home 😂 they’re gonna have posh British accents in my head when I read your stories because the way you write is more sophisticated so I’ll picture them way 😉

I’ll also add it’s coz us kiwis and aussies are not really sophisticated with our language eg, “yeah nah, bro!” Or “chur, bro!” (Which are a typical kiwi/NZ sayings— definitely not fancy or sophisticated sounding 🤣)

👵🫶

I love your emoji choice!!! 🥹 (it’s a cool, sweet and funny inside joke too!)

And I just turned 30 last year lol, I’m not that old, I know, but I feel like my soul and mind is a fossil 🤣

Hahaha, I get that! I’m from DK, and I know this is slightly different, but with the other Scandinavian countries, people often say we all sound similar (we really don’t, but most of us are able to understand the different languages because a lot of words are the same 🫣). But also just in my country, there’s A LOT of different accents, it’s kinda wild actually (and we all make fun of each other’s accents depending on where in the country we’re from. It’s a small shit ass country, but we love making fun of each other 🤭).

I can’t picture them with Aussie accents either, which is partly why I didn’t (I really wanted to say ‘refrained’ here 😂) go that route. But I like the more casual tone from NZ and AUS, like it sounds like y’all are good friends and are able to joke a lot with each other (just an outside perspective that might stem from a slightly stereotypical viewpoint, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to offend!).

Also, something that I forgot to mention in reply to your other ask— I searched my story for both ‘perhaps’ and ‘bear’ and OMG I wrote ‘perhaps’ 87 times 😱 It was really bad in chapter 13, Jimin’s Love Letter 😬Safe to say that I’ve changed it now (just have to upload the new version), and again, I wanted to thank you, because I truly didn’t notice this at all 😭 (which makes me think at beta would have been lovely in this situation!). But thank you, I’m more aware of what words I use when I write now 🫶💜

Thank you, love you— have the best day/night 💜

#👵anon #anon <3 #anon ask #ask lissa #mail for lissa #fic: my heart's home #ily <3

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lets-talk-spirituality · 1 year

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https://www.tumblr.com/lets-talk-spirituality/717357516088131584/what-is-that-men-alluring-to-us-or-harry-being?source=share

Omg 😆😆🤣mod

Bestie 😭😫 This man has done a slick number on me. I literally never feel lust or attraction (thanks trauma). Y’all. He’s so fucking high vibe. Like his soul, his energy is so pure. He may actually be powerful enough spiritually to match me. I’ve watched him manifest in real time. His human is so hurt besties and it sits so heavy on my soul. This is the dark side to being this spiritual.

People call him Jesus and I swear he could get anyone to like him. I miss him so much. We had kind of a finality talk this week that has been making me so sad. I keep saying I’ll stop talking about him but goddamnit! His fucking Pluto is on my moon, his moon is on my Venus, we have the same rising. So much in the astrology. But we have this one Saturn placement that makes him run away because our dynamic is asking him to grow up and he can’t.

All he wants to do is fuck off and get fucked up. His mom died last fall and I’ve known he’s unavailable. I just thought being around me made it hurt less not more. But I think it hurts him to feel loved and cared for. I feel so annoying and clingy and weepy and I just want to fix it so we can at least do drugs with our shared friends (so many of them). I hate feeling left out and it’s all so awkward.

I hate that he doesn’t want a relationship and that he pushes me away. His soul is all like “it’s for your own good… I don’t want to hurt you..”” WAH WAH. My soul picks up his energy like a fucking metal detector. Ding ding ding he’s been here and not with you! I literally can feel his energy when it’s nearby. I fucking felt him coming to this island. And wrote about it a week before he moved here! I wrote out a scene I kept seeing and it aligns so closely with him.

How is he not my one?!? Why do we have this bs deep energetic tether? And why won’t it go away since we’ve exchanged energy and lessons?? It should go away now and it won’t. I hope he’s as haunted but I know he’s not. Why am I always alone in this shit. Sucks being psychic sometimes. And it’s hard when you point blank know what’s under the surface.

We’re so stupidly similar and yet, he’s not my one. Counterpart is all like I sent him. It’s so confusing. And as a joke, the universe has been having all his friends reach out to hang out with me. So now he’s resorted to reaching out to MY friends. The universe is so petty, this man I swear I love his soul and he’s so beautiful and I’m so sad. Sad enough to rant about all this. I’m on anon I guess. I sound all sage when I’m channeling but I’m still just a girl who falls for unavailable men and feels hopeless that it’ll ever change.

0 notes

levi-my-beloved · 2 years

Note

Hello!! I’d like to request a Levi x Fem!reader where the reader is really strong (emotionally) and happy always but no one knows that she’s had a hard past and a family that hates her. She’s close to Levi, but one day,he says something angrily/ rude to her that reminded her of her parents. fluff ensues~~ (p.s don’t hold back on the angst I’m in the mood to get hurt)

Old Wounds

Pairing: Canon!Levi x F!Reader

Word Count: 4.8K

Warnings: None? I don’t think?

A/N: y’all are really feeding into my angst complex now and i’m so here for it. thank you for the request lovely anon, i hope this is what you had in mind ^-^

Strength comes in so many different shapes and sizes, it’s often difficult to tell where weaknesses lie. For you, it was a case of brave face. So mentally fortified, many thought you to be unbreakable. Even here, now, crouching next to one of your subordinates, a member of your squad, you demonstrated your strength.

“I know, I know. But life keeps moving, and you have to keep moving as well. For them.” you’d lost a few good soldiers today, none from your squad thanks to your dangerous actions, but the poor girl sobbing her eyes out before you had stuttered about losing her brother today. He was a part of the left wing squad, which had been all but wiped out in an abnormal attack. Your heart broke for the girl. She was a good soldier, incredibly gifted with her mind, and had more than once helped you out of a sticky situation. It just proved that even those with incredible intellectual strength could have their minds clouded by emotion. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to you, but it did anyway.

A new wave of sorrow overtook the soldier, and she collapsed forwards into your arms, inconsolable cries causing her body to shudder in your embrace, your shirt slowly dampening from her tears. How long either of you had been there, neither had kept track, but you weren’t moving until she’d stopped crying, however long that may take. A few other members of your squad stayed with you, the bonds in your squad being one of the strongest in the entire Survey Corps. And it was only when the soldier had fallen silent asleep did any of you move.

“Thanks you lot, I’ll take her back to her room. I’m sure she’d rather sleep in her bed than my lap,” you sighed gently, brushing a strand of her hair back from her face as she slept surprisingly well for someone who had just lost her only living relative.

“Not sure Captain Levi would agree with you there,” though the atmosphere was grim, you managed a tired, half glaring smile to your squad, glad they were still able to make those kinds of jokes. You’d trained them well, since they were cadets. They’d been under your wing since day one, it was nice to know they considered your relationship informal enough to make such jokes about the nature of your incredibly friendly relationship with the stoic captain.

“Funny, you lot. Very funny.”

“Hilarious, in fact, that you would think her scrawny ass is comfortable enough.”

The fear of god entered your squad’s eyes, faces draining to ash as his voice cut through the small congregation that had formed around you and the tired soldier. A small smile pulled at your lips, your head bowed down to hide it from your squad as those familiar footsteps came ever closer, until you could feel his presence behind you.

“That’s enough for today. I’ll take Viktoria back to her room. I’ll see the rest of you tomorrow, training midday, got it?” there was a chorus of agreements and a bustle of nods, before they all promptly made their excuses and left. You couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at their sudden urgency to be somewhere else, before gathering the exhausted soldier in your arms, lifting her as you stood.

Levi raised a brow, glancing between you and your passed out subordinate. You rolled your eyes, attempting to wave him off but finding it difficult with your hands full of sleeping cadet.

“She lost her brother in the expedition today. I’m just taking her back to her quarters before heading off.” you explained, already walking passed him down the corridor to the barracks. Levi followed along behind you, arms folded as he walked. It wasn’t really a defensive thing he did, nor was it something he did when he was annoyed. It was just more comfortable than having his arms anywhere else. Honestly, he was glad you knew that, because having to explain every time Hange called him off-putting was exhausting.

“Don’t suppose you’d want some tea before heading to bed, would you?” the offer was almost inaudible, and you had to look at him over your shoulder to make sure he wasn’t messing with you. And the way he avoided eye contact, finding the ground a thousand times more interesting than your prying eyes, was proof enough. But of course, you couldn’t help but mess with him. Stopping at the small intersection between corridors, you looked back at him, glancing down the hallway to the superior’s corridor, where your quarters also resided.

“Are you asking me on a midnight date, Captain?” you teased lightly, delighting in the way his eyes shot back to yours, terror written all over his face. Damn, you didn’t think he’d find the idea that disgusting. “Relax, I’m kidding. Sure, I’d love to. Let me get Viktoria to bed and I'll be right with you.” you gestured down the cadet corridor, before Levi sent a nod your way and disappeared back to his own quarters. You smiled a little sadly to yourself. You always hoped one day your feelings towards him would be reciprocated, and yet time and time again are you disappointed. Not that you should be surprised at this point, he’d subtly rejected you too many times now, so really you should be used to it. And yet it still hurts every single time.

You gently placed Viktoria beneath the covers of her bed, removing her jacket, boots and ODM gear straps until she looked like she could sleep fairly comfortably. As a captain, it was your job to look after those who took orders from you, on and off the battlefield. A job you took extremely seriously. Bringing the bed clothes up to tuck her in, you smiled gently down at the unconscious girl. The next couple of days were going to be hell for her, you knew that. But you also knew she had the rest of her squad to support her, and she had you.

Gently closing the door behind you, so as not to disturb her, your next port of call was your own chambers. Just to remove your own jacket and gear straps, not really liking the idea of having to sit through what should be a fun, relaxing experience whilst shifting awkwardly in those tight restraints. You were glad your office quarters were nearer than Levi’s, meaning you could easily stop prior to heading a little further down the hall. Although your heart ceased immediately upon entering. Your blood ran cold at the mere sight of what waited for you on your desk.

A letter. But you recognised that seal. Recognised that slanted, borderline illegible handwriting. Your mother had written to you.

How thoughtful.

You briefly debated whether it was worth ruining your evening over, but you knew if you didn’t open it now, you wouldn’t enjoy your evening anyway. With a deep sigh, you crossed your office, sitting down in your chair simply staring at the envelope with that stupid fucking wax seal, steeling your nerves enough to open it.

Finally deciding to rip off the bandage, you grabbed your ornate letter opener from your desk drawer, and sliced through the sealing wax, almost stabbing the blade into the wood out of preemptive anger. You hated your parents almost as much as they hated you. The emotional abuse, the subtle and not so subtle jabs at everything you do and have done with your life, the snide comments and sharp remarks. God they pissed you off, because they knew every single weakness, and knew exactly how to exploit them. Not only that, but you had been stupid enough to one day confide in your sister, telling her about your feelings for Captain Levi over a couple bottles of wine. Of course the first thing she did was arm your parents with more ammunition with which to harm you in each letter they sent.

This time was no different.

Daughter.

(She couldn’t even be bothered to put your name, for fuck sakes.)

Your father is sick. Very sick. And he requests your presence by his side. For what reason, I’m afraid not even I can fathom. However it is what he asked of me, and therefore it’s what I must make happen.

If you can take five minutes away from your oh-so-important fight for humanity, your own dying father would like to see you. If you can’t even be bothered to do that, then don’t return at all. I’m sure your sister will be extremely happy with the sum of money she will inherit when I inevitably pass away, since you’re too busy playing tin soldiers. It would be nice to see you care for once, but I doubt you’re capable of doing even that.

I read about you in the paper the other day. You and that impressive little captain of yours. Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, no? It’s a shame you yourself could never amount to much, although I doubt you could take the pressure of such a title. Send him our regards, would you? It would be a pleasure to discuss your future with him at the next Winter Ball, since you could at least do us the courtesy of marrying well and supporting your family. I have to say, I would pity the poor man if he did end up being stupid enough to put a ring on your finger, but I'd like to think he has a little more sense than that.

(That stung harder than you would like to admit)

I’m wondering when you were going to tell us of your promotion, which was surprising to hear down the grape vine, considering how useless and clumsy you are. Or the most recent failed expedition? However, I can’t imagine that would be groundbreaking news, I often wonder if there really is anything other than hot air in Commander Smith’s head. You really are a brainless sheep following a brainless shepherd aren’t you? You and that whole regiment.

But, I digress, I would have thought you’d at least take some time out to write back to your own father. As for that promotion, who did you have to sleep with to get that? The Commander himself? Or that little captain? I’m impressed. I didn’t think you’d have it in you. But you always were a manipulative little snake, weren’t you? Twisting your poor father until he broke.

If you can take time out of your schedule to see him, do. If not, don’t bother coming home again.

Your’s,

Mother.

You stayed there for a moment, unable to quite believe what you were reading, until two perfect circles dotted the parchment, but you were too caught up in your own incredulous rage to realise you were crying. It took you a second to angrily wipe away your fury from your face, crumpling the letter up in a balled fist, your knuckles turning white before throwing it into your bottom drawer, watching it bounce before falling to the top of a scrunched paper pile.

Your initial decision was right, it seems. This was going to ruin your evening. Your elbows rested on the desk, hands forming a net for your forehead to settle in whilst you attempted to calm yourself. You regulated your breathing, bringing it down from the shortened, shallower breaths to inhale more deeply, automatically soothing your raging emotions. You were not about to let this get to you. You’d received countless letters like this, each one thrown in your drawer, not even deeming them worthy of a response.

She made you feel like shit. She always made you feel like shit. Guilty when you went to see them, guilty when you didn’t go to see them. But now your father was on death’s door. Not that you cared much, you just wished you could be the one that drained the life from his eyes. He didn’t deserve to go quietly, painlessly. Not after everything he did to you.

Taking a deep breath, you stood from your desk, pinching your brow briefly, before once again shaking your head and leaving your office. Maybe tea with Levi was a good idea. Or, alternatively, it could be the worst idea either of you have ever had. This was what was playing in your brain as you approached his door, knocking three times before waiting for an answer that never came.

Confusion scrunched your nose, knocking another three times and waiting again for an answer that never came. Had you heard him wrong? Did he not ask you to meet him? Did he mean another time? Raising your fist to the door for a third time, the wood shook with the force of your knuckles, your foot tapping impatiently as you once again waited for some sign of life. You didn’t have time for this, you could be in your office working on paperwork. Just as you were about to turn and give up, the very man you were looking for spoke up from behind you.

“Maybe if you knock again he’ll answer. He’s a very busy man, you know, he might’ve been out.” you sighed a chuckle, almost instantly relaxing upon hearing his voice.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have to knock four times. I’m a busy woman and yet you’ll find me answering my door before the third.” you turned to see him leaning against the wall, hands concealed in his pockets, looking at you with something you couldn’t quite pinpoint. You mirrored his stance, glancing to the door. “We gonna stand here all night?” you asked, but Levi’s gaze seemed to be stuck on you, unmoving. You shifted a little awkwardly, not entirely sure what to do. “Levi?”

“What happened?” you blinked, unsure as to what he meant. What happened? What happened where? When? You’d lead quite a long life, he’d have to be a little more specific. And as if he could read your mind; “Your mood has shifted. What happened?”

You folded your arms a little defensively. How the fuck did he know?

“So you’re psychoanalysing me now? Just open the damn door.” You rolled your eyes, trying to replace whatever aura or mood or tone he’d just sensed with something a little more laid back.

Levi’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, but he obliged all the same, his eyes never leaving your face until they literally had to. It was only until you were in his office, could you relax for a bit.

Something was off with you. He hadn’t seen it before when you were holding that cadet, but something had changed since then and now. Levi had always kept the temperature of his office and quarters warm, it was something he preferred being rather cold-blooded, but he noticed your shoulders visibly relax and thanked his previous self for kicking the pipes earlier. The heating in the Scout HQ wasn’t exactly flawless, but it was good enough on the colder winter nights.

He rounded his desk, gesturing for you to take a seat on the sofa as he poured two cups of tea, occasionally glancing back at you. Though you seemed to have relaxed a bit, he could see that familiar tensing in your jaw and the way you scrutinised whatever you were staring at straight ahead of you. He’d only ever seen you like this a few times, and he never managed to get any answers out of you before you went straight back to being your happy, calm self. It was something that drew him to you, not that he’d ever admit it. He couldn’t pinpoint what he felt whenever he was around you, but it was akin to being back with Isabel and Farlan, when their lives weren’t collectively going to shit. You felt somewhat homely, to him.

You were snapped out of whatever trance you’d found yourself in when he placed your tea in front of you, your eyes flicking up to his face in thanks before you took the cup in both your palms, leaning back against the sofa, your ankle crossed over your knee.

“You should have let me do it, today was pretty shit for you,” you swirled the liquid in the teacup as Levi took a seat next to you, quirking a brow in your direction.

“You’re useless at brewing tea,” he muttered bluntly into his drink, glancing at you as you smiled without any actual humour.

“Yeah, yeah I am.” you chuckled emptily, taking a small sip of your drink before putting the teacup down completely. Levi sighed, running a hand through his ebony locks.

“What was up with you today?” he asked, not really knowing how to breach the subject of today’s expedition.

“What do you mean?” you were immediately on the defensive once again.

“Want me to be blunt?”

“Oh you ask now?” okay now you were starting to piss him off.

“Tch, you were sloppy with your kills, you were careless in your movements, half the time it didn’t even look like you were thinking. You were acting like a green-ass cadet.” you let all the shots land, each one of the deepening an insecurity of yours. You’d worked so fucking hard to get to where you are now, and hearing that it was pretty much all for nul and that you were still the same bumbling kid you always were. You wanted to say you were sorry, but you didn’t really get the chance. You were used to this. This was just Levi. He was harsh, he was blunt, this was just him being–

“You were just fucking clumsy out there, throwing your life away at every goddamn opportunity. I understand your squad’s important to you but…”

Levi continued, but you had frozen completely. The fingers that were picking at your dry lips stopped, a faint crimson dusting the tips as his words sunk in. You hadn’t heard anything past those crucial words he’d just spat as if they meant nothing. You stayed staring ahead, unblinking due to the tears lining your lashes, spilling over and down your cheeks. You hadn’t changed. You were still as useless as ever. You never think, like he said. You were still worthless. Why the fuck they gave you a promotion, you’d never know. Maybe you should head to Erwin’s office tomorrow, tell him to demote you back down. You weren’t fit to be a captain, you weren’t fit to be a leader. Were you even fit to be a soldier? Maybe packing everything together and just leaving would be best. Head back home, take care of your sick father, be who your family wants you to be.

Levi noticed you weren’t quipping back like you usually would. It was often the two of you would exchange insults when coming back from an expedition. It took both your minds off the horrors you’d just witnessed, but when he finally turned to you, eyes pinpointing the diamonds on your face, he stopped completely.

He’d made you cry. He’d never seen you cry. He’d never seen you sad, or beaten, or broken. You were one of the strongest people he knew. The real Humanity’s Strongest. And you were crying.

“Hey… you o–”

“I’m sorry,” your fractured whisper sent shards of guilt slashing at his heart. A tear hung on the cliff of your lip, teetering on the edge before sliding into the crevice of your closed mouth, trailing down your chin and onto your folded hands in your lap, another joining soon after. He couldn’t escape the light dancing within the droplets, the little rainbows reflected within. You stayed silent for a moment, Levi not wanting to prompt you before you were ready to talk. Only the slight crackle of candle flame filled the void-like silence before you spoke again. “I’m sorry I’m not good enough. I’m sorry I never was.” you sounded so matter-of-fact. Like this had been drilled into you. Like this was irreversible damage, almost as if…

You’d never spoken about your family, or at least Levi had never heard you speak about your parents openly. “I’ll talk to Erwin tomorrow, get him to demote me and then I’ll hand in my papers. Head back to my family… if they’ll take me,” you looked as if you were talking to yourself, running through your plans in your head with only Levi to witness. It was as if he was now caught in a trance of his own, a spiralling nightmare of your own self-hatred. That he had fueled with his reckless words.

You stood as if you’d just been struck by lightning, your hands gently brushing your cheek, still staring straight ahead before you slowly shifted your gaze back to his.

Levi searched your face, shocked heartbreak creasing his brow. Not necessarily heartbreak over you, but rather heartbreak for you.

You shook your head in disbelief that you’d just said that, out loud, in front of him. All and any words lodged in your throat, you took a step back, before internally deciding it would just be best if you left. Wiping your face with the heels of your palms, you attempted to conceal your face as you went for the door, sweeping past him. And if Levi had been any slower with his reflexes, he would have missed you.

You were stopped by a tight grip on your wrist, a harsh yank pulling you back into the room. Before you really knew what was happening, two arms wrapped around you, securing your body against Levi’s chest.

“Don’t. Please don’t,” you’d never heard him sound so desperate, so quietly longing as he held you in, one hand braced on the back of your head, the other making a home in the dip of your spine. “Don’t go.” Your eyes widened, unshed tears finally carving their way down the trails already made on your face. A strange comfort soothed your veins as you relaxed in his embrace, everything proving too much for your mental walls to handle as they came crashing down. A stifled sob left your throat, Levi’s arms only tightening as he placed his chin atop your head protectively. Every shudder impaled his heart, the way your fists gripped his shirt. Every cracked “I’m sorry.” tore his resolve to shreds until he didn’t think he could hold you any tighter. He didn’t think he could love you any deeper. Smoothing down the back of your head, he didn’t interrupt you. You clearly needed this, and had been needing it for a while. Levi wasn’t stupid. He knew when someone was hurting, he just didn’t know quite how much.

When you’d quietened slightly, and your sobs had ceased, he gently pulled you from his chest, hating how you refused to look him in the eyes when he tilted your head up. Your jaw clenched, as if angry with yourself for losing your grip.

“Levi I’m s–”

“Who said these things to you?” there was no malice in his voice. No hatred, no anger. It wasn’t a question intending to get himself riled up. There was just soft understanding. He knew who’d said these things to you, he just wanted confirmation. Something you weren’t about to talk about because it wasn’t important.

“Nobody, I just let my emotions get the better of me, that’s all. I’m sorry I ruined this…” you went to pull away, eyes fixed anywhere but his face as you turned your head, only to be caught by his fingers on your chin, his tender touch turning you back, preventing you from hiding this any longer.

“Stop. Stop thinking that you have to carry everything alone,” his hand flattened against the side of your neck, his thumb tracing soothing circles under your jaw.

“I don’t want to be any kind of burden, to anyone, and especially not to you,”

“Who said you were a burden?” you stopped again, Levi noticing you gave the same reaction, trying to pull away and forget the entire conversation. But he was so close. He was so close to helping you, to sharing your pain you’d clearly hidden for far too long. And there was no way he was going to give up now. “Who said these things to you?” he asked again, this time earning a different response.

Your eyes returned to his, your mouth forming a thin line as you thought carefully about your answer.

“My mother, mostly. My father, sometimes. My sister, occasionally,” you sucked in a breath. Whatever he made of it, the truth was out. You’d never told anybody this. You couldn’t. You were regarded as a beacon of strength to the Survey Corps, both mentally and physically. If anybody saw you crack, that reputation would be destroyed, and you liked how people felt as if they could come to you with their problems. It made you feel less… well, useless.

Levi’s brows pinched, his wandering fingers tracing delicate lines along the bone structure of your face, caressing your cheekbone, following the line of your jaw, his thumb slowly swiping across your lips. It was only then did you lean into his touch a fraction, almost indistinguishably to anybody other than Levi, who had been paying such close attention to you everything else around drained away. Without thinking, Levi pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, lingering for a moment before tilting your head up once again to look you in the eye, icy steel flicking between your irises.

“You’re not what they say you are. You never have been. You have the skills of a soldier, a fucking great one at that,” you looked away, not really sure what to make of the praise since he was telling you how terrible you were not moments ago.

“Even if my kills are sloppy and my movements are careless and I’m clumsy and I’ve got nothing but air in my head because I don’t think and–”

“You throw your life away at any given moment, yes I know what I said.” Levi hummed, interrupting your self deprecating barrage of insults. “I said those things because I saw what you did today and it scared me. I saw your almost sacrifice and it terrified me because I realised I might not see you as just a peer. But you’re none of those things, you never were. And you are not a burden. You don’t have to shoulder this alone. They’re idiots for not seeing your value, and I’m an idiot for not seeing you before now. I’m sorry I left you alone with this for so long, but I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere,” the sincerity in his eyes had you choked up, disbelieving realisation cleansing your mind, fresh hot tears spilling down your cheeks. Tears that were promptly brushed away by Levi’s knuckles. You nodded, letting him know you had both acknowledged and believed what he’d said before you actually voiced what you were thinking.

“Don’t see me as just a peer, huh?” you smiled a little tearily, though your cheeky mischief shone through your sparkling eyes. It was a look he’d missed so dearly as he rolled his eyes, pretending to regret his loosened tongue, though the slight pull at his lips told you otherwise.

“Would I be holding you like this if I didn’t?” his retort had you blushing madly, as if just realising how close you were to him. And as impossible as it seemed to him, Levi realised he’d just fallen further in love with you. His hand gently cupping the side of your cheek to stop your head from trying to look anywhere else other than him. He wasn’t about to let you go.

“To me, you are everything.”

Your eyes widened again, searching his face for any kind of deceit, but found nothing. Your search was cut short, however, by his lips softly brushing against your’s in an almost-kiss. You could taste the tea and peppermint on his breath, smell the aftershave he used on his skin, see the gentle adoration in his tender gaze before his eyes closed and you met him halfway. Although you were anticipating it, you couldn’t help but gasp slightly as you sealed the gap, your arms instantly snaking around his neck as he kissed you, and you kissed him back.

Levi didn’t go unaffected. He couldn’t be close enough to you, his body craving more of your embrace as one arm circled around your waist, his other hand glued to the side of your neck, alternating between simply resting there and caressing the side of your cheek. Though his movements were slow, languid, his heart was beating faster than he ever thought possible.

Your eyes stayed fluttering close for a second as you separated, before you opened them to Levi’s quiet smile, the back of his hand gently dragging down the side of your face, from your hairline to your jawbone. You turned your head to press a kiss to his slightly scarred knuckles, earning yourself another brush of his thumb over your bottom lip.

Guiding you once again into his chest, you allowed his affection to chase away any childhood demons still lingering in your mind. You knew the path ahead was a long one, having so many repressed insecurities was bound to have taken a toll on your underlying mental health, but that path didn’t seem so lonely with someone to share the journey with.

“Thank you, Levi,” you muttered against his neck, holding him as close to you as you could.

“To me, you are more than enough.” he whispered back, vowing to keep you there in his embrace until he was sure you believed him, no matter how long it took.

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thrndlngs · 3 years

Text

accidentally deleted this so, anon this one’s 4 u !!

holding hands with mha boys includes,

ft. deku, bakugou, iida, kaminari, kirishima and todoroki!

IZUKU MIDORIYA,

doesn’t like holding hands at first bc of the scars that decorate them. he thinks ur gonna like ??? have a reaction to the texture of the scars so he just opts out completely.

so for awhile it’s just holding pinkies for you to hold until one day the two of you are in the mall and you have no choice but to grab his hand so you don’t lose him.

he freaks out for a minute but the second your fingers trace the scar that is sprawled across his palm, he knows that you don’t see him differently.

so after that little incident - the two of you settle for interlocked fingers from then. sometimes when the two of you are alone, you’ll trace his scars and even pepper little kisses on them to remind that he’s still beautiful.

and it’s shit like that that keeps him going.

so he’s for sure a waffles kinda holder, likes to trace his fingers against ur knuckles.

sometimes u have to pull on his hands to get his attention when he’s going on those rambles when math formulas start form so he doesn’t overload both you and himself.

bonus: the first time he says i love u, he traces it on the inside of ur hand. <3

KATSUKI BAKUGOU,

hates the idea of holding hands at first.

walks close to you with his hands in his pockets while you just kind of fiddle with your fingers.

he thinks it’s normal until kirishima pointed it out the time the three of you went down to the beach. and that’s when everything takes a turn.

at first - when the two of you are like sunbathing or smthn he’ll just randomly grab it but like… firmly and not let go. his hands are sweaty and he’s cursing to himself how this is stupid and you’re like trying to not laugh in his face.

he’s just awkward with it for a while until one day you decide to take action and stop the walk home from patrol with the infamous question, “pancake or waffle?”

and our fiery pomeranian goes, “what the fuck are you talking about now?”

and ur like “here let me show you.” so you interlace your fingers with his and go, “waffles,” and then with your other hand you show him pancakes and man.

this boy is red and immediately starts grumbling like an old man but settles with pancakes.

so he’s a pancakes kind of guy just because he’s able to get a firm grip on your hand.

TENYA IIDA,

is a gentleman. ok downright GENTLEMAN.

will always ask if it’s okay to hold ur hand.

will also hold your hand in crowded places without second thought so the two of you don’t get separated but apologizes for three hours after.

bakugou’s hands are hot because you know … quirk reasons but iida’s are just sweaty because you make him nervous. but a good nervous. he just doesn’t want to overstep because he wants to take things at your pace. some people are comfortable with PDA and touchy affection and some are not, if you’re cool with it, cool and if you’re not, that’s cool too!!!

but i do think that once things start working out the two of you are like the pancake holding couple just bc like bakugou, he wants a firm grip in case smthn happens and he likes to think it makes you feel ‘secure’.

DENKI KAMINARI,

okay so from the jump i think the two are you are VERY comfortable with each other. either you’re a carbon copy of his personality or the exact opposite, either way you guys fit each other.

when the two of you are holding hands, he likes to drum his fingers against your knuckles to the beat of whatever tune he’s got stuck in his head.

actually i’d like to think that kaminari is actually very active in the sense that he’s got all these thoughts, jokes or just things he either wants to express or say so whenever he finds you and tries to get your attention by grabbing your hands, he tends to shock you a bit. you know, like when you touch metal at a store? like that.

sometimes he likes to be an ass and give you a little shock when you’re daydreamin’ on one of your night strolls.

definitely the type of couple to listen to music and dance around to the music the two of you are listening to.

i don’t think there’s anything special about the way you two hold hands - if you look past the little shocks he gives off, i think you two just kinda go with the flow.

like one day it’s a pancake hold, one day it’s an elbow and the other is just finger interlocking.

but he DEFINITELY loves holding ur hand.

EIJIRO KIRISHIMA

much like iida, he’s a bit of a gentleman. will definitely ask the first time if you’re cool with holding hands and then after that, it kind of takes off.

i think that, he’s a bit more forward in PDA so he’ll usually be the one to initiate the hand holding just because he gives me that vibe but not in the bad way u feel?

but if ur not cool with it, that’s fine, he’s cool with walking shoulder to shoulder with you.

i don’t think that there’s ever been a situation where he’s used his quirk on accident while the two of you were holding hands and he REFUSES to acknowledge the idea of using it. despite your curiosity.

though he’ll keep a couple of bandaids in his pocket just in case one day he does and the thought of it makes him sick so when those thoughts are heavy (usually on the days after patrol or after he’s heard some people talking shit) he’ll switch to walking with hands stuffed in his pockets.

and you’re all like “???” and he’s like, “are you scared that i’ll accidently active my quirk while we’re holding hands?”

and i think it’s that moment there that’ll be the turning point for y’all cause now YOU are going to try initiate the hand holding so you can show him that you’re not bothered by it.

y’all are definitely the couple to hold hands and then you kinda like wrap the other one around his arm and lean in, ugh so fucking CUTE.

will always opt out of holding your hand and instead wrapping an arm around you when it’s cold or crowded.

TODOROKI SHOTO,

chile… if you don’t initiate the handholding, have fun sticking your hands in your pockets. LMFAOJHFK

no seriously i don’t think he’s like clueless but.. he won’t really pick up on the cues u know. i’m not saying you have to walk him through it but it’s gonna take him a little while.

and even if you tell him like, “hey shoto you can like grab my hand whenever you want i don’t care.” he’s still gonna be hesitant and just.. stare at your hand.

majority of the time i think he’ll grab your hand out of instinct ie: during fights he’ll pull you behind him or if you guys need to like take off for whatever reason

and you bring it up because ??? why the fuck can he hold your hand for that but can’t hold your hand for like mundane shit u know??

once all the shit blows over, i think he catches on quickly. depending on the weather or where you’re walking he’ll alternate sides and grips.

ice side, is usually a pancake hold. i think that it being the side he’s more experienced in he’s more comfortable with you on that side. but of course, on the night that it’s really cold, you go to the other side and he’s gonna have a looser grip because u know

he’s really good at picking up on your moods so depending on it he’ll offer a quick little hand holding session, bringing your knuckles to his lips and offering endless rubbing against said knuckles in order to ease your mind

550 notes · View notes

alicemitch09writes · 2 years

Text

forever person epiphanies

pairing: miya atsumu x fem!reader

summary: A story about Atsumu and his musings about his first true love, his forever person, his ‘the one that got away’.

author’s notes: so here it is, the long awaited atsumu-solo fic. However, it’s not the fic any of y’alls are thinking about. I’ve thought a lot about this, thinking and wondering which angle I should take. I mean, I almost had someone in mind only to be hurt because atsumu couldn’t let go (I’m forever thinking of that one anon’s essay on how atsumu would love). Kinda played with that angle only to stop, because…reasons. Sooooo, this is the end product of me ceaselessly entertaining the idea when I have a lot of other WIPs to worry about whilst battling with writer’s block for some time. Coincidentally, I purposely posted this on the anniversary of '(un)loving miya atsumu'! so, kinda fitting, i guess? hehe (◕ ꒳ ◕✿) IMPORTANT NOTE: This fic is from a series which I HIGHLY suggest you read, or else you'll be left thoroughly confused to the many references mentioned in this fic!

also available on ao3.

disclaimer: i own NOTHING but the plot.

Dear Atsumu,

I hate how much your face is the first thing that comes to mind when I think about the word - ‘happiness’ and ‘love’. Happiness, because it radiates off your bones, no matter the situation, in court when up against strong opponents, thwarting plays with a setter dump or when you’re up serving, or when pulling off nasty quicks with your brother or any other player, off court when you fight with Osamu over the last ice cream at the convenience store, when you share a stupid joke with your dad, or even when you’re with the people you care about. Love, because you do everything with just the right to too much amount of love, pouring your everything in it, pouring your heart in the things that make you happy may it be volleyball, Osamu, your family, Mika- not a single wasted opportunity to convey your love and happiness. Nobody compares the way you do.

You’ve set a standard for almost everything, which is why you expect nothing for the best to be at the receiving end of both happiness and love.

I hope you know that to me; you are the embodiment of both happiness and love. Because I really hate how you remain the embodiment of these two words I have difficulty expressing.

Your name literally translates to 'to devour' and in a sense, you are someone who happily, readily accepts love and happiness on a daily basis, allowing it to fill you up to the core and share it with everyone.

You are everything that is everything – the sun after a stormy day, the sunshine in my veins, the kiss of the wind against my skin, the light to my darkness, my sunflower. You are everything to me, and to you, I offer, my whole heart, which you don’t have to worry returning, because it’s yours. Always has been.

- (Y/N)’s letter, 1 out of 13

For as long as he can remember, there was always that one figure in his life that he wouldn’t trade anything for in the world. His brother was pretty up there, biologically designed to be by his side through thick and thin, whether he likes it or not.

Apart from his annoying twin of a brother, however, came another person, female, small, quiet, stoic, unmoving, unyielding, and had the prettiest shade of (e/c) eyes. Someone who came so unexpectedly in his life, just when the cherry blossom bloom. His one constant.

“GET BACK HERE YOU SCRUB!” 10-year-old Atsumu rages, chasing after his twin.

Osamu easily outpaces him, running in circles for the rest to say. “Get back here you scrub~” he mimicked, raising the pitch of his voice to match his twin’s.

“YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!” yelled the other, nearly tripping on his feet as he took a turn.

“Uweh~”

“SHITTY ‘SAMU, GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!”

“Catch me first~”

“WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU-“

“What are you two doing?” a voice, coming from the entrance door, stops both dead cold.

Turning their head, the twins meet the gaze of their childhood friend and manager, (L/N) (Y/N).

“(Y-Y/N)-chan…” Atsumu started.

Quietly, Osamu skidded off to the side, before stopping as her gaze landed on him. The lad froze on the spot. Expression unchanging, steely (e/c) silently daring him before Osamu stood straighter.

Walking towards them, ever so slowly, the twins fidget on the spot, frozen still until she was standing right in front of them.

“E-Er…”

“W-We…”

Both twins said at the same time, the girl before them just stared, unimpressed, waiting.

On the other side of the gym, the rest of the players watched in awed silence, especially at the (h/c) teen.

“Uwah, (L/N) doesn’t have to say anything…”

“Her gaze speaks plenty enough.”

From the side, a dark-skinned teen smiled, relaxing his shoulders at the sight of the girl.

Aside from being surprisingly reliable at her young age, she also knew just how to handle these twins, keep them in their place, while also supporting them from the sidelines.

“Great job today everyone!”

“Great job!” everyone yelled back, some excitedly especially at the prospect of going home.

“It’s the last day of camp, you guys have any plans?” Aran asks the trio as they head towards the gate.

“Yeah!”

“We’re having a dinner party!”

(Y/N) nods from the side. Excitedly, the twins turn to her. After three steps she adds. “And I’m invited, as it’s a joint family celebration.”

Ojiro hums, eyes widening slightly. “Ah, must be nice to have good food with a family close to you, not to mention, a family friend as well!”

Having known the twins and the young (L/N) for a while now, their relationship has always been a pleasant discovery to find. And to be honest, it’s making him jealous. Looking over at (L/N) quietly making comments at the twins here and there, he smiles to himself. Must be nice to have someone like a friend, ready to watch over and guide you every step of the way.

With just the twins, they must be enough of a force to deal with and because they’re two halves of a whole idiot. Thankfully, there’s (Y/N) who help keep the twins in check. Because while the twins have each other, it’s always nice to have a mediator or someone who can keep the twins in line.

“Well, looks like your ride’s here,” Ojiro nods at the waiting van waiting by the entrance, the driver waving happily at them.

“Ah! It’s uncle!” Atsumu points happily.

“’Tsumu, it’s rude to point!” Osamu rolls his eyes.

Ignoring his twin, Atsumu runs off ahead. “SHOTGUN!”

Not long after, Osamu runs after his twin. “NO FAIR, ‘TSUMU!”

Atsumu’s laugh sounds off in the air, before it turns into curses as Osamu begins to outrun him. While the twins run ahead, Ojiro and (Y/N) were left to their dust, sighing amongst themselves.

“Such energetic rascals.” Ojiro shakes his head.

Beside him, (Y/N) could only press her lips into a tight line.

“Well, guess I’ll probably be seein’ ya guys around, then.”

Nodding, (Y/N) gives a slight bow. “Until we meet again, Aran-san.”

Behind them, the twins stopped arguing amongst themselves, calling out their goodbyes to the older kid.

Unfortunately, Osamu had won the mini race and was seated up front, much to Atsumu’s annoyance.

“Shitty ‘Samu!” he growled under his breath after fastening his seatbelt.

From the front seat, his twin turned on his seat to stick his tongue out to his brother before facing the front, missing the disgusted look on his twin’s face. Beside him, (Y/N) could only watch their little antics with an impassive expression. But from the front seat, looking over the dashboard mirror, her uncle could see the glimmer of emotions flashing from his nieces’ eyes.

“Alright kids, off we go!”

And slowly, they cruised along the road.

Surprisingly enough, Atsumu soon got over his loss, humming along to the latest song playing from the radio. Up front, Osamu started chatting with uncle about the kinds of food waiting for them at home.

Seated behind her uncle, (Y/N) could only blend into the background, looking at the window whilst the boys talk amongst themselves.

“Psst, (Y/N)!”

But then, the boy beside her beckons.

Turning away from the window, she meets honey brown. “I got something for ya!”

Without waiting for another word, he picks his bag from the ground. Music continues to play from the radio, Osamu and her uncle continue talking about heaps of food prepared, ordered, and waiting for the three of them when they get home. Atsumu reaches inside his bag and produces a paper bag in hand. With a smile, he hands it over. “Belated happy birthday!”

It was summer now, and her birthday was last spring – March 23.

Taking the bag in her hands, she meets up to his honey browns again, seeing him fidget in excitement. Returning his excitement, she carefully opens up her gift, (e/c) eyes widening slightly.

“A stationary set?”

“Yeah! Remember we had to make letters for class and do an exchange thing? I got your letter!” her eyes widened for a fraction, fingers smoothing over the papers and envelopes. “You write really good, (Y/N).” Her cheeks start to flush. “Kinda like poetry, even though I’m too dumb to understand any of them.”

Smiling, she stares down at the stationery set in hand. “These are a lot, Atsumu.”

“Ah, well…you know, you can just write stuff up and send it when you want! Emailing’s fun and fast and all, but nothing beats an honest to goodness and heart written letter. It has more heart to it! Plus, you know, you can make a love letter confession to someone you like.”

Her smile grows, exposing her dimples, probably at his wording.

For some reason, Atsumu couldn’t look away from this.

(Later that night, a young girl sits by her study table in the dead of night, her lamp open, big sister sleeping in the background, unaware of what her little sister was up to. In hand, she fingers at the stationary letter set gifted to her earlier that day, unable to erase the smile on her face. Carefully taking one letter and paper, she sets them on her desk, smoothing over the paper neatly. Taking a pen from her holder, she caps it. Staring at the blank paper, the blank paper stares back. Remembering the smiling boy from earlier, her heart feels full. Before she can help herself, she begins writing. Pouring her whole heart into the letter. When she finishes, she starts giggling to herself – careful to keep it down lest she wakes her sister. Lifting the letter, another incredulous giggle escapes her. She really ended up writing one, and so fast, too!

Shaking her head, she sighs before carefully folding and sliding it in the letter. Afterwards, she holds the letter in her hands. Her love letter for Atsumu, remembering his words that she should write her heartfelt letters to someone she likes, breaking into a giggling mess again. With another shake of her head, she sets the stationary set aside and stares again at the letter, wondering what she should do with it. her desk, with stickers added by her older sister, remains open with one box sticking like a sore thumb amongst the rest. Decidedly, she opens the box and stores the letter in, along with the girlish feelings from earlier. Reaching over, she stares at the box longingly for a while thinking deeply to herself.

Maybe one, she thinks to herself. With a sigh, she pushes it to a close.

Or maybe never.)

Dear Miya Atsumu,

We’re now 15 and at the end of middle school. Next year, the three of us – you, Osamu, and I, will be off to Inarizaki High School. It wasn’t my first choice, because I really wanted to go to Nigawa Gakuin because Uncle said it’s a great school to go to. However, when you heard of this you threw a fit and tried to convince me for days to go to Inarizaki with you.

Days , mind you. Days of you convincing me that Inarizaki was just leagues better than Nigawa, that it had better science programs, that it had a better academic curriculum. Also, lest we forget, that Mika, Mom, and Uncle were there! So why should I be any different? Of course, you and Osamu were going there, too!

I thought it was selfish, that you wanted to sway me, and to find that you did not support me.

But then, you also told me that you just couldn’t imagine parting ways with you and Osamu. “It’s three for three,” you’d say, as we spent so many threes together – three years in elementary, three years in middle school, and now three years of high school was waiting for us.

Right then and there, I realized, that I could never say no to you. Neither could I deny that I wanted the same, too. Not just the ‘three for threes’, but because I wanted to stay with you a bit longer. We’re still young, but the future ahead of us is scary and full of mysteries. With what we have now, I thought that going off on my own and starting anew would be best. Boy was I wrong, I still wanted to be with you. And Osamu. And Mom. And Mika. And Uncle.

You have me, Atsumu. You’ll always do.

Tomorrow will be our closing ceremony, marking an end to an era and a start towards a new beginning.

I can’t wait for what tomorrow brings, especially that I’ll face it with you.

- (Y/N)’s letter, 2 out of 13

Intimidating as she was, (L/N) (Y/N) was honestly one of the sweetest, most thoughtful, and kindred souls that the Inarizaki Volleyball Club has ever known and blessed to have as their manager.

Despite having similarities with a certain senior, she was special in her own way.

“One victory at a time,” she says to Riseki during Inter-High, after a failed serve, a soft smile on her face. As though she hadn’t thrown the dirtiest, harshest glare at the Inarizaki stands who booed at the younger boy.

Taken completely by surprise, her words soon instilled a fire within him, perfecting his next serve when he was called up. Unable to hide the proud smile on her face from the benches, right next to their also smiling coaches.

“She’s a miracle worker, that one.” Aran would say, eyes brimming with pride.

The Miya twins – Atsumu, most especially, couldn’t help but agree.

She didn’t earn her moniker of ‘Inarizaki’s Fox Keeper’ for nothing.

Through his years traversing the yearning for volleyball, grueling academics, and just plain, unpredictable life she was the one constant next to his brother, the one person who would always be there for him through thick and thin.

She was also the strongest person he knew – one who chose to support her family at a very young age after a rather traumatic experience, one who chose to grow up so fast just to support her mentally and emotionally vulnerable mother, to be there for her siblings, and strong enough to deal with both him and Osamu just fine for the years she’s been with them. Strong enough, even, to remind him over and over, albeit strictly and far more directly than his own brother, to temper his unsatiable hunger for volleyball and to make sure his ego doesn’t get the best of him.

A girl so strong.

And yet, he broke her. So easily.

He forgot that even diamonds break under pressure.

At the mere mention of her name, practically everyone he knows would associate the words ‘strength’ and ‘responsibility’. She, being the very embodiment of the two words itself.

But not everyone is aware that there was more to it underneath. That even she wasn’t safe from heartbreak.

The cracks that she carefully concealed underneath her fine and seemingly impenetrable surface just chipped away to dust by every pressure breaking through her fine exterior caused by him. No, there was always something about her that seemed way when they were younger. He saw the way she kept her eyes glued to her siblings, almost overbearingly, how she held to her younger brother’s hand up until brother boy insisted he was big enough to go on his own, saw the glare she gave any male who tried to hit on her sweet older sister, or even the interested looks thrown towards both her mother and uncle. Or even that one time she eyed him and his father laughing over a silly joke, almost longingly.

For underneath her carefully concealed exterior was an already fragile and deeply traumatized little girl. She wasn’t perfect, she’s always been broken. She just needed one more little push that would completely destroy her.

And he did that to her.

So easily.

A year.

It took nearly a year of silence, a year of that one absence, a year of blind, childish hatred.

Almost a year and her almost permanently walking away from his life – without his knowledge, to see what he’s done.

When did threes become twos?

When did he start to realize the absence right beside him?

When did his hunger and love for volleyball suddenly became overwhelmed with emptiness?

When did the emptiness start to shake his love for the sport?

When did the absence of that one someone became so greatly felt that it felt like a black hole to his existence?

Walking down the hall, his eyes instantly catch (h/c), walking aimlessly in familiar maroon and white tracksuit. (e/c) eyes were looking straight ahead, but he knows that she has a million things going on in her head.

The sight of her perked him up.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” he called out, rushing towards her.

The teen jumped slightly, turning her head. “Captain,” she greets, holding her clipboard to her chest.

He stops a few feet, eyes greedily taking her in head to toe. “Where’re ya off to?”

“Laundry room.” She replies quickly, tucking wayward strands of hair behind her ear.

“Do you need help with it?”

“No need.” She says with a shake of her head, now holding the clipboard with both hands. “In addition, I already have Asano, since I’m also training her.”

That makes Atsumu smile, entertained by the fact that the club now has two extra helping hands. “That’s nice. What a reliable senpai you are, huh, (Y/N)?”

Her mouth twitches a bit from his words. Usually, her eyes would be filled with warmth when she knows he’s up to no good – as is his default phase. But now, they’re just…blank. Almost wary, confused, scared.

“Well,” she drops her gaze. “if that’s all-“

“Wait!” he stops her, just as she took a step. Those (e/c) eyes land on him in question. He swallows thickly. “D-Do you have to go so soon?” he takes a step. “P-Practice doesn’t start in a while.”

“I’m aware. But you must know that a manager’s work extends even beyond practices. We do logistical work, as well.” Atsumu swallows thickly once more, especially at her clipped tone. “I have to see to it that everything’s in order to lessen any burdens that may waste precious time.”

Unable to help it, Atsumu smiles.

She always had to see things through, had a plan for almost everything and wanted to make sure that absolutely nothing went to waste.

She almost always looks like this – looking like she’s the most collected teen you’ll ever meet, only to find that underneath it all, she’s not fine at all.

Not one bit.

Lifting her wrist, (Y/N) pulls on her sleeve to read the time on her watch, muttering under her breath.

“Well, Captain, I guess I should take my leave now.”

Bobbing her head, she turns and leaves when a hand on her wrist stops her halfway.

She had a visceral reaction – pulling her hand away, putting a distance between them. It reminded him very much of middle school, when they came across her dad. Except she didn’t have that burning hate in her eyes.

“(Y-Y/N)?”

His hand was still raised in the air, could still feel how she jumped at his touch before violently pulling away.

Just confusion and…fear.

Her reaction stung, like a stab to the heart.

Shaking her head, an almost pained look on her face as she held her hand against her chest. “I just…it’s just…” lowering her head, she swallowed hard. “I never forgot that you hate me.” That stopped him cold.

Clearing her throat, she held her clipboard with both hands. “I apologize if I overreacted. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

Silenced by her words, he could only watch. The silence seemed to generate some sort of reaction to her, because she turned her head to him curiously, as though her words from earlier meant nothing. “Don’t you hate me?”

He sputtered. “W-Wha…?”

“I mean, after last year, it was clear that you hated me.”

Atsumu also came to a horrible realization: he may be on a high from the realization for all his faults, but she just was numbed by the pain. Her heart is tired, from everything that had to do with him, tired of loving him.

He forgot how fragile the human heart was, especially a woman’s heart.

Do you know how it felt to see the strongest person you know fall apart because of you? Unknowing of the inner turmoil they’ve had to deal with all their life, only to have you – their best friend, their first love, amplify the hurt and pain they’re going through?

Honestly, Atsumu couldn’t believe how much of an asshole he really was.

He was a lot of things, but an asshole? A heartless asshole? That was really something.

And what made it worse was the fact that despite all the pain he caused her, (Y/N) was acting like it was nothing to her, had to forcibly pull herself together in order to manage the team, seeing her hurt as her own fault – never had he felt so ashamed of himself.

“Well, I don’t!” he tells her, voice cracking. “I don’t, okay?” He repeats.

But his actions from last year said otherwise.

Before he could say anymore, Asano appeared, jumping at the sight of the two of them, as though she intruded into something. Quietly apologizing under her breath, she was just about to leave before (Y/N) reassured her, excused herself to him, and left with Asano in tow.

I want to say that I know you better than anyone else – anyone ever would and could. I probably know you better than you think.

I know this, because you’ve hurt me the most.

Hurt me in ways I never thought you would.

- Excerpt from letter 5 out of 13

The next time Atsumu saw (Y/N), she was dragging two trash cans in hand along the hallway. Something about seeing her like this, even outside practice hours, in her neatly pressed school uniform in lieu of her tracks, was not unusual to find but a sort of norm he found weirdly relaxing. That being said, seeing her carrying two loads of trash by herself angered him.

Mondays were usually the off days, as far as he knew (or heard from Osamu) it would usually be the day she offered to do class duties – taking out the trash, for one.

Steeling himself, he casually walks up to her, grabbing the can carrying the perishable trash.

“Here, let me give you a hand, (Y/N)!” he says with a smile, a wayward greeting.

He watches closely with bated breath at her reaction, response – everything. It took a while, seeing that he’s cut her off her deep trance, only to be disappointed at how guarded she became at the sight of her.

“Miya-san,” she greets with a slight nod.

Honestly, he doesn’t blame her after all the shit he put her through.

Remnants of glaze from her deep thinking slowly faded in those eyes of hers, he wondered what she was thinking about before he chimed in. Though, he doubts she would even tell him.

“What were ya thinking about?” And yet, he found himself asking anyway.

Seeing as the blond-dyed teen takes the other trash can in hand, and with ease, she resigns to lift the can on hand.

“…just about the kind of drills we should do with the new recruits,” decidedly, she tells him.

Humming, he adjusts the can slightly, comforted instantly by her response. “So, you’re tweaking the stuff we usually do?”

“Maybe, considering that we mostly have to work on defense now that Akagi-san has graduated. We might have weakened our offense a bit with Aran-san having graduated, as well, but we still have Ginjima, Suna, and Osamu…and you.”

Smiling at this, the two carefully turn towards the stairs. “Need help with the drills?”

“No need, I can always approach either Coach Kurosu or Coach Oomi.”

“Yeah, but as captain, I should at least share my input as well! Not to mention, I also wanna get involved with my team and all.”

Safely reaching the ground floor, (Y/N) seems to contemplate on his words for a second, nodding then. “Alright, that can be arranged. I will be meeting with both coaches tomorrow, since we’re technically still supposed to be resting today. I shall be updating you before practice, Miya-san.”

Miya-san. Captain. It stings to hear it from her, especially with such a clipped tone.

“Ah, by the way, (Y/N),” she looks up, just as she emptied out the can. “are you on cleaning duty today?”

“Yes.”

A certain memory pops up in his head, causing him to frown and explain his tone. “Do you need help?”

At the back of his head, he could still see a lone person sweeping the floors, arranging the desks, and such all by her lonesome. A younger, smaller version of the same person in front of her.

His offer gives her pause, until she gives a faint shake of her head. “There’s no need for that, there are others who are cleaning as well. I just volunteered to take the trash out.”

Relieved, he relaxes his shoulders. Then he says that he’ll walk her back to her classroom.

“That’s really unnecessary- “

“Psh, no worries (Y/N)! It’s just a few walks anyway~” he smiles. “Plus, I need the exercise!”

Despite this, she remains unyielding to even his best smile, at his sincerest. Practically forcing the other bin from his hands into hers, plastering a thin smile as she walks ahead.

“Thank you for your help, Miya-san. I’ll be updating you sometime this week.” With a bow, she turns and leaves, taking the two trashcans in hand. All while Atsumu watches.

So this is the reality he has made.

Dear Atsumu,

Sometimes I wish you could see how much I love you

I like you, and not just in a friend-way

Do you even realize how much hold you have on me

Sometimes, I wish I could hate you. I really do. Because sometimes, you’re really selfish. And prideful. And annoying. And superlatively childish that the noun itself seems like an insult to how you’ve become now.

Who am I kidding, of course you’re like this because you’re nothing more than a child. A child built into a six-foot-something build with a brain filled with nothing but idiotic things and self-fulfilling thoughts to boost your fragile ego.

Your name reads ‘to eat’ and wow, did you fucking eat a great load that you’ve shat upon everything and anything that came in your way.

I can’t believe this is the person you’ve become. You know what you’ve become? You’ve turned into my dad-

- Excerpt from letter 10 of 13, unfinished and with parts stained with dried tears, the edges crumpled

When the time came for the inevitable, that is life after high school, the three of them knew that their threes would now have to part.

Osamu in Kobe.

Atsumu in Osaka.

(Y/N) in Hiroshima.

Who knew that their unbreakable bond would come to this?

But even with the distance, even after an amicable rejection, Atsumu knew deep down in his heart that he would never ever forget his first love. He’ll accept that they can never be anything but friends, after shattering her fragile being. He’ll take it, so long as he could remained tethered to her in some way.

(Y/N) though, bless her soul, still found it in her heart to forgive him.

More than anything, he feels as though she should put him a tier together with her shitty father.

But she didn’t, that’s not her.

Having that knowledge alone was enough for him, made him love her even more.

Even though he was fine with them just being friends, Atsumu just can’t seem to shake away the feelings he has for (Y/N). As expected, he seeks her out when he can, excitedly talks to her, video calls (even though she’ll just be studying, he was fine with it, just watching her).

On the chance that both he and her would come home for Obon or special holidays, the feelings he had for her just seemed to build up. In fact, the more they interacted – both online and offline.

The feelings he had just couldn’t nor wouldn’t give up.

No matter what, they just couldn’t stop.

It was enough to make him feel guilty, for everything he did to her.

Had he been a better person then, he could have had her with him, be with him, love him just as she’s always had for years and years, and yet all he did was take said love of hers and walk over it.

On the morning of his first day at MSBY Black Jackals, he received a text from (Y/N). When he opened it, it was a selfie of her with a raised fist with the Peace Bell behind her. Following her selfie was a text that read, “I know you don’t need it, but I still prayed for the success of your professional athletics life. Welcome to the first day of your new life! You got this and I believe in you! Fighting!”

Fuck, he really can’t lie to himself, can he?

Atsumu stares at the photo of (Y/N), his (Y/N), eyes tracing the curve of her smile, the dents on her cheeks, at the flush on her cheeks.

Unconsciously, his expression began to soften, mirroring the smile he was looking at. Looking over the text, he reread it over and over, practically reading it in her voice.

Fingers began tapping for a quick reply before pocketing his phone. Feeling lighter, energized, he stares out his window contemplating on breakfast or a jog first. Eventually, he goes with the latter.

‘Thank you, (Y/N)! Chat with ya later!’

I want to say that it doesn’t hurt: hearing you go on and on how perfect my sister is, how beautiful she was, how amazing she was at soccer, or how she seems to brighten up your day just by the mere thought of her. Trust me, I know. I know my sister’s the best person out there - any guy would be lucky enough to date her. I just don’t want that someone to be you.

And yet, what can I do?

How are you blind to see that I’m right here? I won’t be as perfect, pretty, amazing, or bright as Mika, but I can try-

- Excerpt from letter 6 out of 13

One photo.

All it took was one photo and Atsumu felt his heart break.

For all the video calls, chats, and text messages, it took just a photo and of Suna, himself, to confirm that he and (Y/N) were dating. And somehow, for some reason, Atsumu couldn’t find it in himself to feel betrayed. Even his own brother didn’t know that the two had been dating!

It just caught him completely by surprise, is all.

Right after the reunion lunch, greeting Kita-san again a ‘happy birthday’, Atsumu later received a text from his twin inviting him out. Atsumu willingly complied.

As it turns out, Osamu has a higher tolerance of alcohol, Atsumu doesn’t, but he kept ordering drink after drink anyway. At first, the younger twin tried to shoot down Atsumu’s calls for another beer, growing increasingly annoying by the minute.

The older of the twins couldn’t help it though, beer – for all its disgusting first sip, was pretty addicting. Plus, it helped loosened him up after a rather hectic day!

So, Osamu just let him. Happily thinking that he won the bout on alcohol tolerance, and the fact that his brother would be the with a terrible hangover the next day.

Sliding over a new glass of beer, probably his fifth one, Atsumu just stared at it – at the bubbly, inviting golden liquor. The bubbles, for some reason, reminded him of (Y/N).

Why was that?

Oh right, she wore a white summer dress. She looked real pretty in it, like an angel. A really pretty, little angel.

And her smile?

The smile she had on?

Wow.

It just brightened her whole features, bringing the light casted by the moon to shame.

Even though they were miles way, with time stretching past the years, (Y/N) never left his mind. She’d linger at the back of his mind, whenever it wasn’t just about volleyball. At the end of the day, he was always left wondering what she was up to. When his mind tends to wonder, when questions come around, just the thought of her was enough to dispel it all and bring him to the surface.

Bringing the glass close, he held just the bottom, index finger running over the condensed glass. Carefully, his hands gripped on, bringing it to his mouth. Momentarily, as his view turned yellow, the curve of the glass somehow reminded him of the curve of (Y/N)’s smile, how it exposed the dents on her cheeks, the condensation seemed to allude of the time he made her cry.

Putting down his glass, he let out a breath.

Atsumu, who absolutely hated losing without a fight, knew this was the one thing he had to lose.

Through his muzzled mind, he could see her clearly – (Y/N), looking so beautiful dressed in white, smiling so radiantly, standing between Suna’s legs and arms.

Eventually, drunk, Atsumu broke down. “…I-I” he hiccups, voice trembling. “loved her, ‘Samu…” another hiccup, followed by a sniffle “I loved her.”

Osamu didn’t have to ask who, watching his brother with sad eyes.

“I really loved her…!” he hiccups again, strongly that he flinched.

Snot began dripping down his nose, tears rushing, too.

“I…” sniffles “…I didn’t know wha’ I 'ad…'til…it was…” taking an inhale, his voice becomes a shaky, miserable breath. “gone.”

Sighing, Osamu patted his brother’s shoulder. An unbecoming sight this was, heartbreaking to witness firsthand. Especially from someone who seems like such an ass, who’s all-high and mighty, a dumb perfectionist, condescending – all for the right and wrong reasons.

Atsumu leaned against the younger twin, crying softly. Osamu let him, uncaring that he was going to be covered in snot and tears.

“I-I loved her so much, ‘Samu!”

“…I know, 'Tsumu, I know.”

But it was already too late.

It pains me to know that you’re hopelessly in love with my sister. I mean, I can’t blame you – in every sense of the word, in every angle you look at, Mika’s perfect. And who am I? merely a shadow, an afterthought, a somebody next to her.

Sometimes, I wish you looked at me the same way you looked at her.

Sometimes, I wish I was the reason behind the shine in your eyes, the skip in your beat, the reason why you want to do more than just feed the hunger in you.

But this isn’t about me, this is about you.

You love two different things very differently.

I know your love for volleyball runs deep, but your love for Mika? Who knows how deep that pool is.

It just pains me to know how well I know you, how I’m right here, yet you chos-

- Excerpt from letter 9 out of 13

Japan National Team.

He made it.

He really did!

And he wasn’t alone!

Shoyo-kun, Bokkun, Omi, Aran-kun, Suna, and (Y/N), most especially!

When his manager broke out the news to him, his heart was filled with so much joy and happiness, ready to burst then and there.

It meant so much to him, to finally achieve his dream and go to greater heights.

Most especially, he had two of the most important people with him from his childhood – Aran and (Y/N).

(Y/N).

His breath hitched in his throat at her familiar frame, felt his whole being light up.

“(Y/N)!!!!!” he yelled excitedly, running towards her with his arms wide open.

Before she could fully face him, he had already engulfed her into a hug, lifting and twirling her around, laughing.

“Atsumu!” she laughed with him as she held on to him with her dear life.

“You’re here!!!!” he beams up at her, taking her in.

Without his twin next to him playing pro, he felt like half a person. Even when he was assured that this was his chosen happiness, just as culinary was Osamu’s, it didn’t mean it was any less lonely. Practically his whole life, it’s always been him and Osamu together. Veering off to their own paths of happiness was such an intimidating and scary journey.

Sure, he’s made friends here and there, but nothing can ever compete to the bond he has with his brother.

Well, almost nothing with (Y/N).

She, who was one of the most important people in his life.

She, who was also part of the equation of making his life’s journey in less lonely, boring, and a lot more worthwhile.

“I’m so happy you’re here!”

Even with her hair all over the place, from him twirling them around, watching her smooth it away from her face, wearing that smile he’s known his whole life, Atsumu just feels his heart settle and calm.

“While this reunion is grand and dandy, can you please put my girlfriend down?” says a voice, belonging to his high school teammate, Suna.

“Ah, right.”

Gently, he sets her down, watching as she rights her shirt and hair. Suna then walks towards her, his large hand engulfing in her small ones.

Despite everything that happened a year ago, Atsumu worked himself to be as civil as possible for (Y/N)’s sake. Amidst the amicable atmosphere of their reunion, there was still that tension between them.

“Hey, you’re all here!” another voice calls, rather cheerily.

The three turns, two of them have their faces split into huge grins.

“Aran-kun!”

“Aran-san!”

Said man grins ear to ear, walking in with his arms wide open to hug both him and (Y/N). Suna, not one for hugs, quietly pulled away, wore a smile as he watched the three, phone out to record the scene.

“Aran-san, are you crying?”

“HUSH, (Y/N)! DON’T RUIN THE MOMENT!”

“WAH, ARAN-KUN, YOU’LL MAKE ME CRY, TOO!”

Just like that, Atsumu feels like he’s starting volleyball all over again.

Even if his brother wasn’t there with them, it still feels like a part of him was with them.

…And then Hinata came barreling towards them, specifically at (Y/N) for a hug.

“I can’t believe they managed to get you, too!” He says to (Y/N) after their little meeting with the rest of the other members of Japan National Team. There were definitely a lot of promising players this year. And staff, too! In fact, practically half of the team and staff were comprised of promising youths!

They were all currently resting at the lounge area, relaxing, and catching up. Groups were split into smaller groups, enough for the athletes to get to know their fellow teammates or be acquainted with them.

“Me, either to be honest.” Settled in her seat, she props her arms on the table, leaning against it as a bright smile fills her pretty face.

(Y/N).

His (Y/N) was going to be on his national’s journey with him as one of the managers and as their local sports psychologist.

It still feels so surreal.

While he greatly respects and admires MSBY Black Jackals’ own team manager, there was just something in (Y/N)’s work ethic that he was so used to and found great comfort in. After all, she’s been a key integral part to his volleyball career spanning all the way since they first met, when she commented on his hunger as an astute observation to his name, has been there with him all this time. Or it might as well have to do with his familiarity with her.

“Well, she was greatly endorsed by the coach and Murase-san,” Suna comments, pride in his usually lackadaisical tone, an arm was wrapped around (Y/N)’s waist. “Of course, not to mention the fact that she used to the manager of one of the greatest high school volleyball team, and a powerhouse at that, too.”

Rolling her eyes, she playfully swats Suna’s face.

“It was by luck that I was accepted.”

“Probably helps that you also have a Psychology minor, too!”

“Lord knows we need psychological help, seeing as we have the ‘Generation of Monsters’ on our roster.” Ojiro mutters, already feeling the weight of the role assigned to him.

(Y/N) frowns slightly. “Seriously, who is coming up with these names?”

They laugh at that.

“Well, maybe now they’ll change your nickname to ‘Ryujin Nippon’s Guardian’!” Atsumu teases.

“I have a moniker already!?”

They laugh again, much to her chagrin.

You once asked me why I was scared around dogs and I told you of the time back in Miyagi, about the one dog I actually liked. My dad used to have this big dog. I think it was a bully, but I liked him very much and his name was Goji. His full name was Godzilla, but my sister complained how ugly it was hence, Goji. I loved that dog very much, would pet him every chance I got before and after school, would feed him when I had the chance.

But then, everything changed when I found out that Goji, sweet, wonderful, big boy, Goji, wasn’t even our dog to begin with.

My dad had put up a front that he was to keep Goji with us for a while, because Goji was actually his mistress’ dog.

I was so crushed when he told me. Mika never knew about this, though.

One day, I was out to feed Goji when he was seemed…off.

Turns out, he was actually quite rabid and my dad forgot to give him his shots.

But Goji seemed like someone had provoked him. And true enough, one of the neighbor kids were throwing rocks at him.

Angry, Goji barked and barked at the kids, who yelped and ran off upon realizing just how dangerous a big dog could be.

I, too, yelped. In fact, I was frozen in fear, for I had never heard this sweet, big boy bark so angrily in the months that I knew him.

He never stopped barking, even when I was there to give him food.

And since then, I stopped going to him.

Eventually, my dad had to give him back.

Mika cried. I cried.

But I never got angry Goji out of my head.

How a sweet face can twist and turn, how gentle marbles can be filled with so much anger and hatred.

Never realized how scary dogs could actually be.

And that was it.

Osamu had said something in the lines of ‘stupid buncha kids’. And you probably agreed with him then.

But I will never forget, that ever since I told you two of my fear of dogs, how you would always shield me from them, how you’d puff your chest as if to tell all the dogs that you were the alpha.

Funny as it was, you were so cool for it, Atsumu.

You were my hero.

Always have.

- Excerpt from letter 4 out of 13

As much as it killed him to know that (Y/N) was with Suna, he knew he had no say in their relationship. What can he do, anyway? Nothing. All he can do is support them.

Through Suna’s socials, he can see how in love the two were, how Suna cherished every moment spent with her, how (Y/N) loved him back through her scarce posts in her own social media.

He hated to admit it, but he kept in touch with Suna’s activities in social media just to see how the two were, seeing (Y/N) in a bliss through his ex-teammate’s eyes.

Sometimes, he overworked himself during training just to keep his focus, to keep his mind off things. Volleyball was a wonderful distraction. Then came hang outs with his other teammates. He made sure to keep in touch with his Ma and Pa, Osamu, some of the Inarizaki friends he’s made, (Y/N). Then meddling with Sakusa’s lovelife, Osamu’s, Ginjima’s – wow, what a way to rub it in how single he was, universe!

On the days he, Bokkun, and Shoyo-kun (with the special participation of one equally nosy cousin all the way from Hiroshima) would butt into Sakusa’s love life was definitely one for the books, he’d say. For there was no greater joy in seeing this prickly, seaweed-haired, weasel tumble over someone. AND THEIR OWN MANAGER, TO BOOT!

Truly, it was a fun distraction.

As fun as it was though, distractions don’t really last long.

Still, life with MSBY Black Jackals was a lot of fun!

Not once has he ever doubted his chosen happiness, the one path he’s been set on since he witnessed how fun being a setter was. More than anything, this is what he wanted, this path was where he knew he’d be happiest.

It’s just that it gets a bit lonely on the way.

Sure, he tried a relationship here and there, but they never got to last for too long.

Because in all those relationships, something just felt missing, making said relationship half-assed. He couldn’t blame the girls, because it was on him.

Honestly, it sucked that he could date as much girls as he wants and yet feel that emptiness within him.

One night, just days after his last breakup, his phone rang.

He didn’t bother to pick up, just letting the ring resound in his room.

He thought that would be it, but then his phone rang again. And again. And again. And again.

Six times.

It was probably Osamu, he thought.

Lazily, he reached for his phone, sliding his thumb across the screen without looking and instinctively pressed to loudspeaker.

“Atsumu?”

Of course, he knew what was missing in all those failed relationships.

They weren’t her.

“…hey, (Y/N),” he sounded so lame.

There will always be that missing piece, one he’ll be desperately trying to find long after he’s broken the heart of his first love.

Until he can find his one true pair, Atsumu can only settle for what he can get – anything as close as the feelings he’s had with her.

There was really no other woman like (Y/N) in the world.

Even though they were miles away, she always could sense if something was up with him, always made sure to text, call, or lend her time. Even when she was dating Suna!

Suna was really lucky to have her.

But then, something happened.

For some reason, when Atsumu woke up today, something in his gut told him something was up. Breakfast tasted great as always, his morning jogs had him pumping while the latest top hit played on his earphones, on the way to work, he even met up with his manager – WITH SAKUSA ON THE PASSENGER SEAT! and had a grand time teasing the heck outta him until they reached the gym. Despite all this, in the next few hours during training, the feeling he felt that morning gnawed at him hard. It kept at him all day.

Alarms were sounding off in his head, but he didn’t know what it was about.

It wasn’t until he called up Osamu, and as though the theories about twin telepathies were true. And true enough, something was wrong.

Without hesitation, Atsumu took off and took the first train to Hiroshima, filled with absolute worry for (Y/N), sending her text after text. With no reply, he felt his anxiety spike up, wishing the train to go faster. Granting, the train ride from Higashiosaka to Hiroshima took all of two hours and thirty minutes felt like a lifetime. Bouncing on the balls of his feet, the six-foot-something athlete practically dashed out the train once the doors opened, pulling his phone out to read out the address Komori sent him.

Lungs burning from the run, he finally reached their apartment building when he saw Suna.

At the sight of him, his blood boiled, something in him snapped – Atsumu saw red.

“SUNA, YOU SON OF A BITCH!” he yelled, his fist slamming against Suna’s jaw. Suna stumbles back a few paces.

“ATSUMU!” (Y/N) screamed.

Staggering, the taller man lifted his arm, keeping (Y/N) back.

“HOW DARE YOU!”

“Atsumu-“ Suna tried, only to be shoved back harshly.

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF HER!”

“Atsu-“ “YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER THAN I WAS!”

Suna kept his head low, taking in Atsumu’s words, letting him grab him by the collar.

“YOU DARE MAKE HER CRY?” he seethes into his face, glaring hotly at him. “YOU FUCKING DID THAT, HUH, SUNA!?”

With Suna’s head still down low, unresponsive to his words, it boiled Atsumu’s blood even more. Pulling his hand back, Atsumu was just about ready for another punch when a sob broke sounded off, stopping him cold.

“Atsumu, please…!” turning his head, he was met with a heartbreaking sight, a sight he never wanted to see after middle school. (Y/N) with her already swollen eyes, tears spilling uncontrollably. “P-Please, stop.” Her voice was barely a whisper, watery, begging.

How the sight made him weak, his grip on Suna slacking, taking a step back. Not a second later, (Y/N) rushes up to Suna, (e/c) eyes searching all over him worriedly. Suna, on the other hand, quietly soaks up her worry, leaning his face against her touch. An intimate moment Atsumu felt like he was horribly intruding.

“(Y/N)-chan?” a middle-aged man approached, concerned at the group. “I-Is everything alright? What’s happening?”

It was pretty dark out, just a few people lingered around the area. Still, they created quite a scene.

Hiccupping, (Y/N) wiped her eyes. “Y-Yachan,” composing herself, she shook her head. “T-Thank you for your concern but please don’t worry, this is just a misunderstanding.”

Despite her tone, the older man nodded, staring back at the group – particularly at Atsumu, in worry. “Are you sure, dear?”

She nodded, lips pressing firmly against each other, struggling to swallow down a sob lest she breaks down again.

Silently, the three of them made their way into the building, Atsumu still fuming mad, Suna unable to raise his head in shame with his hand wrapped tightly around (Y/N)’s, who was struggling to keep herself from crying again.

Upon reaching their home, (Y/N) quietly takes out her keys, shakily slots in it, and they walk in.

Atsumu, unable to keep his angered gaze on Suna, pride swelling at the sight of his bruised cheek. His knuckles hurt, itching only to punch Suna in the face had he not remembered (Y/N).

(Y/N), whom he hasn’t seen crying since graduation.

(Y/N), the most fragile person he wanted to protect even from miles away.

(Y/N), who was crying and pouring her heart out for Suna.

Somehow, that knowledge hurt him – continues to hurt him.

(Y/N), who talks to Suna in a hushed whisper, about something he didn’t catch, before Suna nods, pressing their foreheads together, presses a quick kiss on her lips, before disappearing into one of the rooms.

Now alone, with Atsumu at the entryway, (Y/N) keeps her arms around herself, slowly looking over her shoulder to meet his gaze. “C-Come in…”

And he does, slipping on some guest slippers he found.

“Do you want something to drink?” she asks, mostly out of courtesy. “Water? Tea?”

Seeing as she was now, evident by her shaky voice, he knew she was in no state to heat up a kettle for herself.

“(Y/N),” he starts. She doesn’t say anything, her hands had gone limp around her.

“(Y/N),” he tries again, taking a step.

“You didn’t have to hurt him, Atsumu…” her voice was weak, wet, and warbled. “He was already hurting…”

“But he hurt you, too.” He argues, frowning.

“I know,” she nods weakly, falling quiet for a while. “…but we’re working on it, as all relationships do.”

Just the sight of her looking as though she could break any second was torture. She looks so small in this light, as though she were ready to collapse any time. And yet, at the same time, she seems so steadfast, so determined.

Making his way towards her, his honey brown eyes searching, finding, meeting her wet (e/c) eyes.

For as long as he can remember, her eyes were always either carefully blank, guarded – being the most emotionally stunted and guarded person he’s ever known his whole life. When it came to matters of the heart, that was the only time her eyes reflected her emotions tenfold. It’s why he was so shocked at her outburst during the incident, why he never forgot how distraught she looked back in middle school (it being the very first time since he knew her that he ever saw her cry).

Or how she looks like she’s still willing to fight on despite everything, how her (e/c) eyes still burn with determination to fix things.

Crying just never seemed to suit her.

However, humans were capable of crying if it were caused by extreme emotions – such as anger, sadness, grief, and even…

“You really love him, huh?”

Biting her lip, she nods again. A whimper trapped in her throat.

Love.

Atsumu feels something inside him crumble. What can he do with that, now?

Simple.

Without a word, he takes her in his arms, like all those years ago.

For someone so small, she sure was capable of holding so much love and hurt. It never ceases to amaze him how wonderful it feels to have her in his arms, how painful it was to know that she was hurting. Yet, he pushed all those aside in favor of just wanting to wash her pain.

“I’m not sorry I punched him, (Y/N).” he whispers, rubbing comforting circles on her back, uncaring that his shirt was starting to get wet. “Osamu and I did promise that we’d beat that fucker’s ass if he ever dared to make you cry.”

He could have sworn she laughed a bit, he couldn’t tell, but it was something in the least.

Just like this, he could close his eyes and pretend that everything was alright. That she was free from pain, that she wasn’t suffering. And selfishly? While in these few moments he could pretend that she was his, that these tears shed were all for him.

A shuffle cuts them of their moment, releasing (Y/N) as the two find Suna emerging from the toilet, with a first aid kit in hand. Unable to help himself, Atsumu feels his blood boil all over again, the bruise on Suna’s face doing very little to ease him.

Sensing his anger, he feels a squeeze on his forearm.

Ushering her boyfriend to sit down, she does the same to Atsumu. While she begins to clean up her boyfriend’s face, they began talking.

Suna starts off then confesses to everything – his deepest insecurities, with the fact that he could never compete with Atsumu, how it got so bad and deep that it blinded him, drove him nearly to madness and lead to where they were now.

The revelation was much as a shock to Atsumu more than anything.

When Suna was done speaking it was the same time (Y/N) was done patching him up, immediately his hands reached for (Y/N)’s, threading their fingers together. (Y/N)’s expression very nearly crumpled, leaning her head against her boyfriend’s shoulder, to which Suna gently pressed a kiss on her crown.

Honey-brown eyes landed on his ex-teammate’s frame, the tall, unassuming, nonchalant, deadpan, quiet, and sarcastic man before him, feared and hated for his extremely sharp game sense, his unique spikes, and his ability to manipulate blockers, seemed so…vulnerable, hollow, a shell of his own being.

For some reason, it felt like he was staring at someone similar.

Just then, he feels his phone ringing. Picking up, he unlocks it without looking, only to hear Osamu’s voice: “Put me on speaker. I need to talk to this asshole.”

And that’s how the rest of the night goes: the twins confronting Suna, with (Y/N) listening in. Suna, having to confess again everything.

In the end, all was forgiven.

Not that easily, but it was a start with Atsumu punching Suna and Osamu’s threats over the phone.

And because Atsumu came to Hiroshima on a whim, he slept in the guest room, needing to borrow Suna’s clothes for sleep much to his chagrin.

He couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t shake off all that’s happened today. He and Osamu exchanged a few texts, he also texted Coach Samson, his manager, and his captain about his sudden leave. Bokuto, Hinata, too, who had seen him rush out the gym.

Atsumu had a fitful night’s worth of sleep.

When he walked out of his borrowed room, he takes in Suna and (Y/N)’s shared apartment. Considering a professional athlete’s wage, it was no surprise that Suna would choose something so spacious. For the most part, the whole place was cleaner than he expected, maximized a lot of space, and had a dose of Suna’s love for video games, shows, and movies with the occasional posters here and there. With (Y/N) around, he figured that she might’ve contributed to the organization in a sense.

With all the excitement from last night, he didn’t bother or hadn’t really taken a proper look at the place. His eyes roamed around from the half-drawn curtains from their balcony window, simple yet modern pieces of furniture, some photos displayed on the shelves, Atsumu was awed by it all before he was greeted by the sight of pillows and blankets on the sofa from the reflection of their large screen television.

Hearing movement, Atsumu followed the sound to find Suna Rintarou rummaging through the cupboards in the kitchen. It was a sight to behold alright, then again, he didn’t really know much about the guy after high school. After finding out that he’s been dating (Y/N), everything just blanked out.

“Oh, um…hey,” came Suna’s greeting, bags underneath his bloodshot eyes, his hair was unkempt.

The shiner was in its full glory, a reminder of last night.

Nodding in return, Atsumu pockets his hand, eyeing the set up in the living room. “You slept here?”

Suna was quiet for a while, giving him a blank stare, then at the ingredients he laid out on the counter. Eventually, he hums in response. “After what happened,” his one hand balls into fists against the counter. “after I nearly broke up with (Y/N), I couldn’t…I can’t be by her side…”

Suna’s said as much as he can from last night, how he had spiraled so much that it lead to him wanting to break up with one of the best women he’s ever known. Still, Atsumu couldn’t help the anger broiling inside him.

“Is she still asleep?” Atsumu asks in one exhale, eyeing one of the doors, wondering which one was hers. Or theirs.

“Yeah. I…” Atsumu turns back to him. “I checked up on her earlier. She’s sleeping like a log,” the two smile at that, knowing how much of a heavy sleeper she was.

Atsumu decides to walk to the kitchen – even their kitchen looked great, wow – seeing the ingredients and utensils all set up. Suna still doesn’t look up.

Behind Suna was a rice cooker and a coffeemaker, and for some reason it makes him think of his brother.

“Where do you stock the rice?”

Suna looks up, assessing him for a while, before wordlessly pointing to the lower cabinets. “First one to your right.”

“Does (Y/N) still take her coffee in the morning?”

“Um, yeah. Coffee’s just on the cupboard to your left.”

And like that, the two silently work on breakfast. Little was said to each other as they moved around, the sounds of utensils echoing throughout their kitchen.

Through the kitchen window, a gentle breeze whisked by as though in greeting, bringing with it the warmth and promise of a new day.

Slowly, the kitchen began to fill with rich aroma, greeting back to the two men.

While Atsumu sets the table, Suna carefully transfers the food to the waiting plates, carefully walking towards the dining area.

Breakfast was set. Back in the kitchen, the coffee machine beeped. The pan that Suna had used was sizzling softly. Both men were silent, looking at the readily-made food, the set table, the dining table – anywhere but themselves.

Silence thickening.

“I know you’re still in love with her.” Suna finally says without looking, hands planted on the chair he was leaning on, large hands swallowing the chair’s edges. “But I’m her end game now.”

Atsumu scoffed at that, side-eyeing him. “So what’re you asking for? My blessing?”

Suna turned to him and just stared, jaw set. “…perhaps. Even though you’re still an obnoxious fake blond bitch,” for a second, his lips quirk, eyes softening “you’re (Y/N)’s best friend.”

Best friend. Atsumu doesn’t know how to respond to that, really. However, he settles for a nod. The ‘best friend’ part stinging slightly because he knows that it’s better suited for Osamu. Despite them making up on her 19th birthday, the title on him felt so undeserving.

(L/N) (Y/N) was his best friend alright, could have been more if he was smarter, yet she was the one person who had a hold of his heart long before he knew it. She, who had the biggest, kindness, and gentlest heart of everyone he’s ever known.

Meeting his ex-teammate in the eye, he says. “SunaRin, take care of her for me, alright?” the shiner from last night molts the underside of his eye, his pride swelling a bit. “Take care of her heart.”

Take care of her heart for me.

The smell of breakfast was making their stomachs growl, their mouth to water. So just when the two ex-teammates were about to check on (Y/N) a door opened. Still in her nightwear, with her hair was lightly brushed, she paused when the door was fully open, staring at the two men, who were staring back at her.

Sniffing, her eyes then fell at the food set on the table. Ever so slowly, the corners of her mouth lifted into a smile.

“Shall we eat?”

And the three ate breakfast, quietly. Any attempt at conversation felt awkward – especially for the two men, but for (Y/N)’s sake, they at least had to try to appease and quell her anxiety. Especially noting the dark circles under her eyes.

After breakfast, Atsumu’s phone began to sound off and he rushed out to answer it. It was his manager, asking him where he was, what was he doing, and if he was coming back to Hoshiosaka anytime soon. Truly, he did not think things through.

Assuring his manager that he was fine, and that he had to attend an emergency, and “no, I don’t need to take a leave, I’ll be taking the first train back now”, he released a sigh afterwards. (Y/N) had mentioned over breakfast that his clothes were probably all dried up now. With that, Atsumu can just change and quickly get out of their hair.

Walking out of the room, Atsumu noticed that the apartment was relatively quiet. Taking a few steps, he craned his head searching was about to call out for Suna or (Y/N) only to stop.

He didn’t mean to intrude, but what was in front of him made him stop.

Suna was holding (Y/N), nose burying on the crook of her neck, shoulders lax, while her fingers run through his hair. An intimate moment he felt like he was intruding.

Even from where he stood, he could hear Suna whispering apologies over and over, pouring and baring himself to her.

All (Y/N) could do was anchor him, maybe them both, fingers massaging the ends of his hair, holding close, holding tight. Quietly nodding at his words, lovingly caressing him, whispering back to him with as much love and reverence Suna threw at her.

Atsumu felt his heart ache.

If only he wasn’t such a prideful brat, if only he could have seen what he had, if only he was a better person.

But there was no point wallowing in ‘if only’s especially when it’s long past, most especially when he’s the one who made his very reality. He can blame the younger him all he wants, but at the end of the day, that person was still him.

If only…then he could’ve had what they have, could have (Y/N) in his life.

As (Y/N) pulled back, gently taking Suna’s face in her hands, (e/c) searching, waiting, before he raised his gaze to meet hers. No words were exchanged between them. But a person’s eyes can hold so any emotions, can tell a lifetime of stories with how deep and luminous they were.

They couldn’t take their eyes off each other – (Y/N) offered him a reassuring smile, Suna tentatively smoothed her hair, cupping her cheek afterwards, all while watching her as though she were the most precious thing in the world.

Really, it was too much for him.

Atsumu looked away just as the two shared a kiss.

Then again, he’s stuck with ‘if only’s.

I just know that no matter how hard I try, how many wishes I make, how many times I’ve thought about it, I’ll just never be her. I’ll never fill that spot in his heart specifically for her. There’s no place for me for me in your heart, Atsumu.

- Excerpt from (Y/N)’s letter, 8 out of 13

Atsumu tries to not let it get to him, he really does.

But life just never turns out or goes however you want now does it? Because it’s been years and his heart still yearns for that one inevitable, his one constant. Not that he’s complaining about his status – a pro V-league athlete, one of the country’s most promising players, and most eligible bachelors, he is very much satisfied with where he is.

But is he really?

Atsumu was the type of person who’ll never be satisfied, someone with a terrifying hunger for more. It was in his name after all ‘to devour’, and boy did he crave for it all – cheers, jeers, the thrill of the game. A mad craving that was unsatiable, a hunger that made him all the more terrifying as one of the country’s most prolific athlete.

And yet, he couldn’t be fully satisfied.

Not really.

EJP Raijin was to play against MSBY Black Jackals for the semi-finals match.

The gym was pretty packed, crowds filling the stadium. From the corner of his eye, he could spot his brother’s stand accompanied by a small fidgety figure manning the cash register.

From across the court, he wills himself to be happy at the sight of (Y/N) and Suna. The middle blocker wore a soft smile on his face as he stared down at (Y/N), who returned the gesture with the same soft endearing look on her face.

Months have passed since what happened, and the two look more in love than ever.

“Hey Atsumu,” Suna greets.

“SunaRin,” he smiles, a smug grin on his face. “let’s have a good match, yeah?”

The middle blocker meets his smug grin head-on, slapping his hands into his into a handshake.

It was a close match.

Atsumu played like he always did, being the master of his tune whilst his teammates danced along. Suna doing the same, thwarting every chance he gets (managing to even get Atsumu riled up at one point).

But in the end, MSBY Black Jackals came out victorious, bagging their first win for the season.

Nothing will honestly be better than the taste of victory.

Ah, these were the moments one just had to live for.

Atsumu will honestly never get enough of living through the roars, the rush of high, of victory in his veins.

This was him in his happiest.

He lived for these moments.

Yeah, he tells himself.

Sure, victory was great and all.

But when the match was over, hands were shook, bows were made, it just took a glance at the other side of the court and see two familiar figures for him to feel…hollow.

Sure, he was on an all-time high from the win, heck, they even had some shenanigans during the interviews post-match. But at the end of the day, it still gets a bit lonely at times.

All alone in the locker room, Atsumu hunched over, elbows on his knees.

Even he can’t deny himself that.

“A-Achumu…?” came a small voice.

Atsumu barely realizes the loneliness nor the fact that everyone left him alone. Looking up, he couldn’t help the smile forming on his face when he met big orbs of adorableness, peeking from the doorway. With the door half open, he could hear Bokuto’s voice in the hallway, probably off somewhere chatting, with Adriah’s laughter resounding after.

“Heya Hare-chan,” despite the feeling of loss (for someone who won), he wears a smile if for the little girl’s sake. “what’cha doing here? Where’s your mum?”

Blinking, she fiddles her hands. “Ta-Ta…” she frowns slightly at her words. “Ta-Talk” Atsumu nods encouragingly “…Chu- Shu! Shuugo-chan.” God, she was so adorable.

“I see.”

Those big eyes never leave his face. “A-Achumu o-okay?”

Not one to lie, especially with those eyes on her, he shrugs. “Not really, Hare-chan.”

“…w-why?” she tilts her head, prolonging on the last syllable.

Humming, Atsumu fixes himself, still hunched over his shoulders.

In his head, he apologizes to his teammates, Coach Samson, his manager, everyone. Not that he hates victory – heck, he lives and thrives for the thrill of achieving it! It’s just that, it’s EJP Raijin. And with EJP Raijin-

Quirking his lips upward, he hopes the little girl could believe him.

Kids were far too innocent for their own good, too pure. It wasn’t right to dump all his complicated feelings on someone as precious as her.

She blinks, those adorable eyes taking him in.

“Achumu?”

“Yeah?”

Fiddling with her shirt, she bashfully tells him. “Hare wuvwuv you…”

Ah, kids were adorable.

Aside from getting a chance to play the sport he loves, to play with incredible high-caliber teammates, he was infinity lucky to call them all family. Especially this one precious girl.

Taking the little girl in his arms, he squeezes her tight. “Yeah, I wuvwuv you, too, Hare-chan.”

I’ve had this thought for a while: do you know how funny the concept of love is? How it’s finite and infinite at the same time.

Of all the things science can’t explain, love is pretty high on that list.

Try as they might, but can science really explain a feeling, a phenomenon that extends and transcends throughout time? That can cause the worst heart ache known to man?

It’s amazing how a single person is capable of love.

How one’s love can be infinite and finite at the same time.

One has to wonder just how much some people are capable of love, how much they’re willing to offer, how much they’re willing to receive.

And you know the funny part?

Love can take just as much as it receives.

And yet, the heart can still manage either way.

- (Y/N)’s letter, 11 out of 13

Together, the twins walked towards a white wooden door they were directed to. Osamu knocked first, then gently turned the doorknob before entering.

“You wanted to see us?”

As one, their breath hitched at the sight of her, sitting in front of a vanity mirror dresser, dressed in white, face bright with her features highlighted by makeup, her hair styled elegantly with a few flowers adorning her (h/c) hair – was their (Y/N).

“Wow, (Y/N),” Atsumu spoke first. “you look,” suddenly, he felt his eyes water, his lower lip trembling. “S-Sorry, I-“

Beside him, Osamu rolled his eyes. Atsumu was always more emotional than his brother, who was seconds away from tearing up himself.

She laughed, standing up to meet them both.

Hands reaching out, the twins instantly took hold of her hand in one of their own.

“You look beautiful,” Atsumu says, swallowing down hard.

Quirking his lips, Osamu nodded. “You really do, (Y/N).”

“Thank you,” she laughs again, breathlessly, eyes crinkling, exposing the dents of her cheeks.

This was finally happening, their (Y/N) was to be wed!

Just a few weeks ago, they were at the Olympics – where Japan just barely made it through semi-finals, placing just fourth place, and here they are now!

“Crazy how time flies, yeah?” Osamu comments, never letting go of her hand.

“I was just thinking that, ‘Samu.” Atsumu seconds.

Nodding, the blushing bride says, “Me, three.”

Their large, calloused hand against her small ones, it was such a sight to behold.

“Just yesterday I was alone in the womb- OW!” Osamu yelps as Atsumu stomps on his foot, hard.

“OF ALL THINGS YOU COULD THINK OF!? WAY TO RUIN THE MOOD, SHITTY ‘SAMU!”

“LIFE PROBABLY WOULD’VE BEEN BETTER IF I ATE YOU IN THE WOMB!”

“HAH!? AND LET YOU LIVE A BORING LIFE? PLEASE!”

“AT LEAST IT’D BE QUIET!”

“SHUT UP, YOU UGLY SLUT!”

“BITCH, WE HAVE THE SAME FACE!”

Before another insult could be hurled, the twins yelped in pain as the bride-to-be crushed their hand in hers, a cool, calm, patient smile on her face.

“Miya Atsumu, Miya Osamu,” she sighs, finally letting go, the two sighing in relief, taking their hands away to nurse or stretch it out. “Even all these years, you two never fail to bicker about, huh?”

Together, the two share a pained laugh, shaking their hands.

“Eh, you love us anyway, (Y/N)!”

“Plus, your life wouldn’t be the same without us!”

Rolling her eyes, she couldn’t help the smile making its way back to her face. “Well, someone had to keep you two, in check.”

Exchanging looks, the twins then reach out to take her hand again in theirs, squeezing gently. (Y/N) stares at them, her expression softening.

Seeing her in all white was like seeing her fresh off a fantasy, more so that she was getting married during fall in a church by the forest on a beautiful sunny day. What a picture-perfect marriage.

“Have Auntie and Uncle dropped by?” asked Osamu.

She nods. “They did, together with Mika, Reiki, and little Katsuo.”

“Wow, almost forgot that Mika-nee’s carrying baby number two.”

“So,” Osamu drags a bit before asking, rather cheekily. “were there tears?”

(Y/N) frees her hand from his hold to playfully smack him.

“Oi! Can’t blame me! Auntie and Uncle are quite the emotional pair of siblings!”

Memories of the three walking into her mom and uncle crying over a Japanese-dubbed Korean drama, or J-Drama come to mind. There were even stories (Y/N) shared of her mother and uncle crying over some emotional commercial, together with Mika. She had to explain to her very confused brother why they were crying so much.

“Wait a minute, where’s brother boy?” Atsumu wonders aloud, the familiar nickname makes (Y/N) smile.

Tipping her head a bit, it gestures out the window. “He went to answer a call from his girlfriend.”

At that, the twins paused. Exchanging glances before meeting their best friend’s knowing expression, almost in anticipation.

“Wait-“

“Is he still dating that girl from last time?”

“But I thought they broke up?”

(Y/N) shrugs a shoulder. “I have honestly no idea anymore. I mean, I should be concerned, but it’s my little brother’s relationship and I don’t want to intrude unless he asks me or something.”

“He’s grown up, that one.”

A single sentence, pertaining to a singular person, suddenly held so much weight for everyone in the room.

The silence that brewed in, thickened. Thickened with realizations, of happy memories, of nostalgia, all of which have stretched on into eternities enough to fortify and strengthen the bond for the three people in the room.

“Well,” Atsumu was first to break the silence, letting out a deep, heavy breath. “this is it, huh, (Y/N)?”

“Yeah,” she says breathlessly, nodding.

Running his thumbs over her skin, Atsumu couldn’t take his eyes off her, hadn’t been able to since he first stepped into the room. Something lodged into his throat when their eyes met, his chest felt the beating of his heart. “Yeah, you’re finally getting married.”

She was glowing, it hurt to look at someone so bright and beautiful like this.

“You’re not getting cold feet, aren’t ya?”

Shaking her head, a faraway look painted on her face. “No, it’s just that…I can’t believe this is happening.” Laughing nervously, her hold on them loosened a bit. “Who could’ve thought I’d be here?”

“Of course, you’d be here.” Osamu, ever the best friend, was quick to quell her insecurities. “And it’s happening right now, (Y/N). No use fussing otherwise.”

Nodding after his brother’s words, Atsumu squeezes her hand tight, wanting just as much to quell away all negativity on her special day. “What ‘Samu says, (Y/N). There’s no way you would not be here right now. There’s no way you, who deserves all the love in this damn universe, shouldn’t be blessed with this much joy and happiness.”

Her smile was a little brighter, if that were even possible, her light shining brighter than before.

Exchanging glances with each other, the twins slowly bent over to affectionately peck their best friend on her head.

“I’m so happy to share this amazing moment of my life with two of my best friends.”

Just then, the doors open, revealing her youngest brother, Kaoru, who was all grown up. He looked just like Mika and (Y/N), with features that of their father’s. Personally, Atsumu feels like he takes his features from (Y/N), his extroverted personality were from Mika.

At the sight of his sister, the young man’s mouth opens slightly, tears quickly welling up his eyes. The sight causes the three coo at him in unison.

“Aww, brother boy!” Atsumu cries, feeling himself tear up as well.

“Now, now,” Osamu wraps an arm around his shoulders, leading him to his older sister.

“S-S-Sorry…” says Kaoru, wiping tears away.

“No need to cry, Kaoru.” (Y/N) smiles at him, the same smile she’s always worn for him. “But I have to say, you’re really like mom and uncle, both of them cried at the sight of me, too. Mika, even.”

“Aha! So there were tears!” As he said that, Osamu wasn’t quick enough to dodge a smack on the shoulder. The four of them laugh.

Finally calm, Kaoru exhales, nods at his sister. “Nee-san, it’s time.”

Nodding, she straightens, then turns to the twins, smile ever in place. “Well, this is it guys.”

The four then exit the lounge, down into a hall where her bridal entourage awaits her.

One of her bridesmaids, Airi, Suna’s little sister, excitedly hands her bouquet, then she gets in line with the rest of the bridesmaids. Atsumu and Osamu were then gestured by the wedding organizer of their places.

Wrapping her arm around her brother’s, she meets the eyes of her dear best friends.

“See you guys out there.”

As much as she wanted her uncle to walk her down the aisle so bad, unfortunately, tragedy struck years back that caused him to lose his ability to walk and that put him on a wheelchair. It pained (Y/N) when it happened, especially since she loved the man as though he was her own father.

In his place of her beloved uncle though, was Kaoru, who was more than happy and willing to walk his big sister down the aisle. However, he laid out a condition. As he compelled to have the twins walk her, too! Seeing as they were also a part of his big sister’s life.

Uncle was more than happy to allow this, as did the blushing bride.

Halfway through the aisle, the twins stood in waiting, at their beautiful (Y/N), wearing the most beautiful smile all day.

As Kaoru handed his big sister, he couldn’t help but shed a few tears.

(Y/N), ever the sister, gently wiped away his tears. ‘Awws’ could be heard from the crowd.

Before he could hand her over though, Kaoru reached over to peck his big sister’s forehead, mirroring her smile on his own.

And now, it was them three now.

(Somewhere in the crowd, Ojiro couldn’t help the tears streaming down his face as he watches the scene unfold, tears streaming even harded when it was the twins and her now.)

Three for threes.

It’s always been the three of them – Atsumu, Osamu, and (Y/N).

With the Miya twins, being two parts of one whole chaotic mess, who knew that it just needed the arrival of one (Y/N) to keep the world in balance, to keep the twins sane, afloat, grounded.

With every step, Atsumu could just paint out the parts of his life when it was just the three of them.

Three for threes.

One step for the shared glory.

Two steps for every little fights, easily resolved by cold logic told matter-factually.

Three steps forward for the future awaiting them.

Good things come in threes, he was once told.

Sometimes it’s funny how much Atsumu held on to them threes that it blinded him to the reality that the threes would slowly break off and go their separate paths.

It was probably a notion he never wanted to entertain.

A part of him that was scared to grow up and face the music alone.

Glancing to his side, his eyes were blessed with the most beautiful bride he’s come to know, to her other side, was the best brother anyone could ask for.

He can never ask for a better twos to create their threes.

Good things come in threes after all.

And that they will be, always be.

Even if they have to veer off their separate paths.

But even if they’ve headed off, deep down, they knew that the number three will never be the same again. Threes shall forever be embedded with memories, memories they will hold on forever, never let go in their hearts.

There are so many things he regrets, regrets that would soon pile to haunt him in the future. But even like this though, she remains his beloved.

Once more, Atsumu’s eyes fall to his beloved – (Y/N), the most beautiful bride this world came ever seen. Her (e/c) were set forward, towards the man waiting for her, who held her heart just as she held his.

It hurts.

It really fucking hurt so much.

Because he loves her, he’ll always love her.

But that was it: he loves her, she loves him, but she loves someone else much more.

So, even if he’s on the verge of breaking down right now, he will bear them. As the person who broke her heart, it was only karmic happenstance that it should come to this. Submerged into the ache he’s held for so long, only to somehow feel like the surface coming up.

As the light falls down on her beautiful features, his mind flies to meeting her for the first time.

Slowly, the pain disappears.

Slowly, his heart settles.

Slowly, they reach the end of the aisle, to where the twins hand over to her husband-to-be.

Truly, one cannot mistake the love the two shared when they finally met for what seems like a lifetime in a span of minutes.

The sight alone should hurt him, kill him, but Atsumu just smiled, making his way to the groom’s side, joining the other groomsmen.

Maybe not now, maybe not today, maybe not ever will he ever heal from this.

For just seeing that smile on her beautiful face – how illuminating it was all day, for some reason, he felt as though it were embracing him. And he allowed himself to relish in it.

Even if nothing was said, nothing was revealed, he understood.

Confession: sometimes, when it’s 11:11, if I see a shooting star, I make a wish that you’d somehow come to like me. Embarrassing, right? But I held on to it each and every time. You can’t exactly blame me and my little hopes.

- Excerpt from (Y/N)’s letter, 3 out of 13

Seeing the large bump on (Y/N) felt surreal, unreal. There was tiny life in there, a tiny person created by two people. And months from now, a baby will come out.

Atsumu couldn’t stop himself from smiling, looking at (Y/N)’s belly, her hands rubbing all over it.

“You’re gonna be a momma, (Y/N).”

Returning his smile – soft and full of bliss, she replies. “It feels so unreal, to be honest.”

His smile could probably split his face in half, but he honestly just couldn’t stop.

Months of her pregnancy has everyone within their social circle in a mix of both panic, worry, and stress, especially considering how much of a workaholic she was in a high-energy industry like sports.

“Actually, Atsumu, do you want to be the godfather?”

His eyes widen. “M-Me?”

“Yeah, you, asshole.”

(Y/N) playfully smacked her husband’s arm, the light catching the glint on her finger.

“Technically, you and Osamu were my first and only choice.”

“My?” Atsumu repeats.

Suna’s expression remains unchanged, but the corner of his lips twitch for a second as he shrugs nonchalantly. “Whatever the wife says goes.”

“I haven’t told Osamu yet, due to the time difference seeing as he and his beau are vacationing in Denmark.” Her response alone gave him a sense of pride, a natural reaction, he supposes, for one upping his twin at something. She must’ve known, because she was laughing lightly at the look on his face.

“So? What do you say, Atsumu?”

There was so much hope and anticipation in her tone, shining over the overwhelming joy blossoming her features. Who was he to deny her? Especially when she looks like this?

“I would be honored, (Y/N), SunaRin.”

You’re probably one of the best parts of my move to Hyougo.

It’s a pretty new place sandwiched between land and sea, filled with strange new faces who speak in equally strange tongues than the ones I’m used to back in Miyagi.

I would say both you and Osamu were the best parts of my move, quickly befriending me out of probably due diligence as we’re neighbors. But I will never forget how you immediately called out to me after my one comment about your competitiveness.

Honestly, I’m so happy to be in a place I can now call home. A place that’s brighter, happier for not only me, but for everyone in my family.

Thank you for being one of the best and my favorite parts of Kobe, Hyougo.

- (Y/N)’s letter, excerpt from letter 12

Seven days after she gave birth, an Oshichiya was held.

It was a simple dinner, filled with family and select friends, who managed and willingly travelled all the way to Hiroshima just to meet the newborn child.

As per tradition, the father was to write down their child’s name. A tradition, that made Suna nervous, because he had sloppy handwriting, and didn’t want to embarrass his newborn baby and wife. (Also, his wife was the one who did Shodo, why the heck was this on him!?)

Fortunately, he managed, and the whole world was told of their daughter’s name.

“Shio.”

“Like salt?” he asks, fixing her a confused look.

(Y/N) laughs, quickly turning to him. “No, dummy! Here let me write it down so I can explain,” Out of nowhere, she flourishes a pen – always never one without it, then searches for something to write on.

Laughing, Atsumu offers his hand.

Mirroring his laugh, seeing as there was no other option, she inches closer, closing the distance between them, taking his large hand in hers.

Even after all this time, his breath still hitches slightly at the feel of her soft hands on his, especially at her thumb smoothing over his palm. Seeing the peaceful look on her face as she wrote clearly shows that her days in shodo have paid off, especially with the smooth and careful way she wrote out her daughter’s name. Even when she was just using a pen, he noticed the few gentle strokes here and there with intricate grooves. Not a single wasted stroke on something as simple yet meaningful as a name.

Once she was done, Atsumu took his gaze off her to stare at the name written on his palm.

‘史桜’

“It’s spelled to read ‘history’ and ‘cherry blossoms.” (Y/N) explains.

He smiles at that, reading at his goddaughter’s name – at the characters in fine writing.

Just like her mother, she was spring born. Compared to her, however, she was born on the cusp of Spring and Summer.

How unfortunate, as Suna was a winter child, (Y/N) was a spring child, and their little one was born late spring summer. A perfect combination of the two.

In that moment, Atsumu had a sort of epiphany:

Of him being in Suna’s spot, of him with (Y/N) to have and to hold, most especially to love. Of him years back, waiting by the altar as Kaoru, him and Osamu walk her down the aisle, her uncle watching tearfully from his wheelchair next to her mom, Mika, and Reiki.

But with a shake of his head, the image is gone, replaced only with the reality he himself created.

No matter how much he wished for the hands of time to grant him a second chance, to go back and make his stupid, younger self realize, to reciprocate her wholeheartedly, readily, it was but wishful thinking.

Looking back to their wedding, feeling his beloved slowly part with him to join her soon-to-be husband, seeing her beautiful face light up, seeing the sparkle in her eyes – seeing her like he’s never seen her before, he just knows how much she loves him.

A love that could have been his, a love she set aside, a brand-new love that could never be his.

A love so raw, a love so pure, a love so incomparable, a love so deserving, a love he once had.

She loves him, so, so, so much.

And for Atsumu? Well, he understood that he’ll always be her best friend, one of the most important men of her life.

Still, lucky he.

Lucky he that he had blessed with her love.

Lucky him that he was fortunate enough to have his chance as her first love.

And that was that.

It was nice to live in the image of ‘what if’s, a plentitude of it. However, that was that – ‘an image’, ‘what if’.

And at the end of the day, there was only one thing that mattered to Miya Atsumu more than anything in the world, more than his life and volleyball.

For as long as he lives, he knows for a fact that she will never completely leave his mind, nor will she completely leave his heart.

She was his first love, after all.

To see his first love, his forever person, Suna (Y/N) happy?

That was all he could ask for.

“Would you like to hold her?”

“Yes, please.”

Not a moment later, he sees Suna walk over at his wife’s waving hand. In his arms was their quiet little girl – truly, a perfect combination of the two. As those (e/c) eyes fell on him, Atsumu felt his eyes get a little misty.

Ever so gently, Suna carefully hands his daughter to him, both he and (Y/N) instructing him about holding her head and back.

(E/c) blinked once, twice, thrice. Curiously taking him in, now that she was in Atsumu’s arms.

Unable to help himself, he feels himself laugh again, lifting his eyes to meet (Y/N)’s, who also shared in his joy, then to Suna’s, who merely smiled, wrapping his arms around his wife.

Pressing his lips against his goddaughter’s forehead, the sweetest little sound bubbled from her – his heart felt light.

“Heya, Shio-chan.”

I’ve got to get it in my head that we should never make wishes so big that they’ll surely amount for nothing but disappointments in the end. That the best thing we can do is settle for what we have and make the most out of it. As our school motto says - ‘We Don’t Need The Memories’.

It’s kind of harsh at first glance, but after our first Inter-High, talking with Kita-san, and the two coaches, it started to make sense.

That being said though, Atsumu, I will never hope for anything amounting to something more than what we have now. I know it’s all I can ever hope for in this lifetime. But just know, that with every moment passed is a moment I’ve held and cherished for as long as you’ll have me.

- Excerpt from letter 7 out of 13

“So, what’s next for Miya Atsumu?” the interviewer asked him, snapping him off his reverie.

Blinking, he met the expectant look of the interviewer before him, the camera was on him, lights were flashing on him bright and blinding.

Atsumu leaned back on his seat and let out a wistful sigh. What was next for him?

Years have passed and a lot has happened to him.

Well, first, there was his nephew, Hideaki – Osamu’s kid, first violin recital, then Shio’s graduation, followed by Sakusa’s big engagement which Atsumu himself planned out (much to the younger lad’s embarrassment), Meian-san’s wife’s second child popping up soon, Suna and (Y/N) were expecting a second child on the way, too, and the next league was starting months from now.

Atsumu was 29 now, he knew that he was destined for greatness, that he would always be hungry for said greatness that he’d have to achieve with his own hands, ready or not for whatever life throws at him.

Retirement was just shy a year waiting for him, but he scoffs for now, knowing he’d still kick it in the bud.

Just because he’s single now, doesn’t mean he will let him hold him back from achieving his own happiness.

Quirking on a smile, he meets the interviewer’s eyes and replies, “A lot.”

Dearest Miya Atsumu,

You are my greatest and first love.

Wow, what an opening, right?

But you at least deserve to know that. Well, I think you already knew that since the incident back in second year. Just know that I am forever regretful of what I failed to do, of manipulating you, and for just being an overall bad friend to you.

However, please know that it is without of great concern for your being. Scratch that, it’s me being manipulative again because of how much you meant to me.

I will always bear the burden of failing to protect your heart, a fragile thing for a time when we’re at our most vulnerable as teenagers.

I don’t think I can ever remember the very first time when I realized I loved you. It could be when we first met the morning I and my family arrived in Kobe, Hyogo, it could be the time you took me by the hand, Osamu trailing behind us, as you toured me around school, it could probably be the time you cowered under my gaze for the first time when I wasn’t amused by you and Osamu’s antics, maybe it was the time you bragged about the quick you and Osamu successfully pulled off, maybe it was the time you practically uprooted and stole a sunflower for me during our class trip – really, it could be any of those times. I don’t think I can ever properly pinpoint the exact moment, but I do know that I’ve been drawn to you since, captivated by your being, and instantly fell for you.

It is so easy to like you, Atsumu. You have your merits and demerits; each can outweigh the other. Loving you is a process, and I had to learn that the hard way.

I know you didn’t mean to hurt me that way, I can never ever find myself to blame you for damaging my self-esteem by using my faults and insecurities against me. But again, we were both at our most vulnerable: we were teenagers.

Forgiving you straightaway? That took me a while. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t think I could ever forgive you and decided myself to burn our bridges and quietly resign as manager. But apparently, life had different plans for me.

Realizing now, I find that it’s just funny how intense we could feel love and misinterpret it in ways we never thought of. The love I held for you was something on its own entirely. One I’ve held for so long, one I’ve hellbent on keeping a secret, one I’ve longed to offer up, and one I’ve find myself exhausted of keeping. I never thought it would come to this. It is so amazingly dumb how love is something finite and infinite at the same time, probably why scientists can never truly understand it and psychologists think of it as a sort of chemical.

I would like to think that I was the first to hold your heart, but I know that it’s not true. How can I be capable of owning something that was never mine to begin with?

No.

But I would like to think that I was the first person ever to love you so wholeheartedly, endearingly, selfishly and unselfishly.

Now, though? It’s gone now.

And I think it’s for the best.

However, just know, that I have never regretted loving you.

Loving you was a process – a long, hard, difficult process.

Unloving you seemed like a probability that should’ve been considered.

I could never unlove you, Atsumu, for you have been a part of me, my life, and my heart.

A part of me could never fully hate you, a part of me shall always love you. That’s all there is to it.

All the love I’ve had of you has been exhausted and it’s time I let my heart rest from years spending it on you.

I realize now that I was the one you needed, as a friend, but not the one you love.

(L/N) (Y/N)

- (Y/N)’s 13th last letter, hidden from the bottom of the letterbox, sent right after she left for Hiroshima

#alicemitch09 writes #miya atsumu #haikyuu!!#hq #inarizaki #(un)loving miya atsumu #three little foxes universe #fem!reader #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu angst #hq angst #hq fic #hq angst fic #haikyuu!! fic #haikyuu!! angst fic

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creamiecoups · 3 years

Text

anon : seungcheol smut!Jealous sex, degrading, ass smacking definitely. just add anything y’know! maybe you were flirting with another member and he got jealous. thank you, I don’t really know how to request, second time requesting only. ❤️

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↠ summary : flirting with Jun just to get your boyfriend riled up really wasn’t a smart move, though you thought it meant no harm at the beginning, you realised way too late that it was a very, very bad idea.

↠ pairing : seungcheol x reader

↠ warnings : posessive behaviour, swearing, alcohol, mentions of drinking (no one gets drunk), dom!seungcheol, rough sex (he gets out of control heh), dirty talk, unprotected sex, orgasm denial, degradation, multiple orgasms, choking, hair pulling, spanking, cheol loves your ass alot, crying, biting, creampies, overstimulation, oral (male receiving), deep throating, cum eating, slight daddy kink, slight size kink, a bit of fluff in the end

↠ word count : 11.3K words

↠ author’s note : i know i took really long to post it and im sorry in every language that exists :-( i just got kinda carried away with this one (as you can see with the word count lmao) so i took really long perfecting it and editing. but i hope y’all love it and it makes up for the long ass wait !!

Another giggle passed your lips as you leaned on Jun, taking another sip of the red wine he had poured for you earlier.

You had come over to the dorms to spend some time with the boys, and of course, your boyfriend Seungcheol.

Currently, there was only Jun, Soonyoung, Vernon, Seungkwan and Seungcheol at the dorms, the rest being god knows where. You were a bit disappointed that you couldn't see all of them but at least you could see a few of them when they weren't busy or not at home.

"Hey you two! Let's do something together, this is so unfair you can't have her all to yourself Jun!" Soonyoung whined loudly, looking at both of you in annoyance.

You were all spread out, Vernon and Seungkwan and Soonyoung were sprawled on the couch, You and Jun were sitting on the floor, and your boyfriend was somewhere in the kitchen...his hard stare on you being oblivious to you.

"Come join us then," you said, patting the seat next to you.

You suddenly felt bad for them, you and Jun had been so lost in each other's conversations that you had almost forgotten about the rest.

"No ew...I don't even get what's so funny about him, I make the better jokes," Seungkwan huffed, rolling his eyes dramatically.

"You mean your over the top drama? She laughs because I'm actually funny," Jun shot, making you chuckle.

"Okay guys that's enough...let's do something together like Soonyoung suggested," you said, before their conversation got any more heated.

You leaned your back against the couch as you took the last sip of your wine.

"Want more?" Jun asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh no that's enough...I just finished my second glass," you said, placing your empty glass on the coffee table.

"So guys, what do you want to do?" Jun asked, looking up at the guys who were still laying on the couch.

"I don't know..." Soonyoung trailed off, making you smile.

"Wow....so you bother us and go on about how you wanna do something together but you have no idea on what to do?" Jun said, rolling his eyes in annoyance.

"Yeah well I didn't care what we did it was just annoying seeing you both so close!!" Seungkwan chirped.

"Fine, fine, how about....spin the bottle?" Vernon said, getting up from his sleeping position as he looked at us.

"Ah no, that's not fair on Y/N! And plus I don't wanna kiss any of you guys," Soonyoung said, pretending to vomit.

"You say it like we want to kiss you...I just wanna play so I can get the chance of kissing her," Jun said, winking your way as you blushed, hitting his shoulder softly.

Jun would be lying to himself if he said he never found you attractive, you always were to him, but he knew not to cross the line with Seungcheol, he respected his older friends relationship and he was happy for them- but he also envied him.

"Do you wanna die in the hands of hyung that bad?" Seungkwan asked, making Jun chuckle.

"Oh please...he doesn't mind, do you cheol?" Jun asked, cocking his eyebrow towards Seungcheol.

You look towards the kitchen area, your eyes falling on Seungcheol who had his gaze fixed on you already, like he had been staring at you the entire time. You bit your bottom lip, realising you had kinda been ignoring him the past hour since you were busy talking to Jun.

"What ever made you think I'd be okay with you kissing my girlfriend?" Seungcheol shot, his eyes finally leaving yours to glare at Jun.

"Come on now...it wouldn't hurt now would it? It's just a kiss after all...right Y/N?" Jun asked, turning to look at you.

"Uh..u-uhm..."

You looked down to your entwined hands, ignoring both of their stares on you..Jun wanting to know what you would say, and Seungcheol daring you to agree with Jun.

"This won't...end good I can feel it," you heard Vernon whisper to Seungkwan, making you agree...mentally of course.

"O-okay guys! Let's play truth or dare, everybody loves that game!" Soonyoung suddenly said, getting up from his seat on the couch to come and sit next to Jun.

"Yeah... teenagers do," Seungkwan mumbled, getting up aswell, before dragging Vernon up.

"But whatever...just thank you for lightening the mood!" Seungkwan added, joining you three on the floor, already forming a circle.

Soonyoung smiled, giving you a reassuring nod to which you smiled back, thanking him silently for saving you from the awkward situation you were in.

"Seungcheol hyung, you joining?" Vernon asked, before sitting next to you.

"Yeah, whatever," he muttered gruffly, walking over to where you guys were seated on the floor.

"Awh why did you call him? He's a party pooper!" Jun groaned, rolling his eyes.

"Seriously, who the fuck says that anymore?" Vernon snorted, making you laugh.

"Move," Seungcheol's voice broke away your laugh as you looked up at him, his eyes were on Vernon.

"Ah right, my bad," Vernon said, scooting more to Seungkwan's side so Seungcheol could sit between you too.

"Okay now that we're all seated...anybody have an app or something? Or do you just want to say random stuff?" Soonyoung asked.

"Nah I hate the apps, let's just say what we feel like saying," Jun said, making everyone nod- well except for Seungcheol, who was too busy being bored, he had only said yes so he could monitor Jun and you.

He trusted you, with his entire life, there was no doubt about that...but Jun on the other hand or any of the other members at that, they were his closest friends and he also trusted them...but boys will be boys and he knew he had to be careful in case any of them got a bit too, well....touchy.

"Okay then, who wants to go first?" Seungkwan asked, as you crossed your legs, your pleated skirt riding up your thigh.

Jun's eyes fell to your thighs unwillingly, as he swallowed thickly, moving his eyes away quickly before someone caught him...and what he didn't realise was, Seungcheol was watching him the entire time and had seen him catch a glimpse of his girlfriend.

Seungcheol's jaw twitched, as he grabbed your wrist before pulling you up quickly.

"What are you doing cheol?" You asked innocently, unaware of the looks you had just received.

"Your staying the night so you should be comfortable..and this will not keep you warm," he said, eyeing Jun.

"Oh you can borrow my hood-"

"She has my clothes so don't worry," Seungcheol snapped, cutting Jun off his sentence.

Jun bit back a laugh, knowing he was really starting to piss his older friend off.

You just stayed still as Seungcheol dragged you from the lounge area and into the corridor to his room.

He locked it behind you both, before turning to look at you.

"Did you really not have anything else to wear today?" He asked, jaw clenched tightly.

"I came straight here after meeting up with my friends," you said, looking down at your outfit.

"What's wrong with it?"

"What's wrong? It's so fucking short that anyone could see your ass with one bend of your knees," he shot, eyeing you angrily.

"Cheol calm down..plus I do look cute in it," you said back, as you bat your eyelashes at him.

Seungcheol sighed, ignoring you as he walked into his closet.

You frown deeply as your fingers curled into fists, was he really not going to compliment you?

"Cheolie..do you really not find me hot in this?" You sulked, holding onto his muscular arm that you oh so loved.

"Let go of me, I'm trying to find something for you to wear," he mumbled gruffly, making you whine.

"But cheol...look at me, you have to admit-"

He pulled your arm off him, before roughly pushing you towards the wall.

"What the hell Seungcheol!"

"Yeah, you fucking do look hot, so hot that I'm trying my hardest not to bend you over right now and fuck the living hell out of you so you never dare wear something like this ever again," he spat, catching you off guard.

"That's what you wanted to hear, right?"

"I-I.."

His hands trailed down your back slowly, his stare on you cold and hard.

"I've been watching you princess...so don't think I don't notice your flirting.."

His hands smoothed up and down your ass, making you bite your lip before you could let out a whine.

"I'm not flirting...I'm just being friendly," you bravely said as you felt his lips on your neck. He wasn't doing anything, just keeping his lips on your skin but that was enough to have your entire body burning.

"Don't lie sweetheart....I know you have a really bad habit of pissing me off....so if I were you, I would stop being so flirty with my friends or you'll really get it from me..understand?" He growled, making you nod.

"Words sweetheart," he warned, moving away from your neck to look at your flushed face.

You smirked, before replying innocently. "I understand, daddy."

Seungcheol's eyes visibly darkened, as he licked his lips.

"I wouldn't play like that with me darling," Seungcheol snapped, bringing his face dangerously close to yours.

"Cheol...my clothes," you reminded him, pushing him off you.

"..Right," he huffed, looking at you one last time before moving away to get out a hoodie and sweatpants for you to wear.

"You...wore this last time you came I'm pretty sure, it should fit," he mumbled, probably to himself as he took out a simple pair of black sweatpants, before handing it to you.

"As for a hoodie since it's cold...."

"Hah...speaking of hoodies...I have like five of yours still in my apartment," you said, smiling at him sheepishly.

He turned around, his eyes soft once again.

"Well good thing I have alot right?"

You both laughed, as he took out one of his most favorite hoodies.

"This one...you are not taking home...it's my favorite," he said, pouting at you.

"Why are you giving it to me then?" You asked, crossing your hands across your chest.

"What's mine, is yours right? Plus you'd look so cute in it, I only said you couldn't take it home because then I won't be able to wear it all the time since it will be at your apartment," he said, making you laugh.

"Alright alright, I'll return it to you before I leave...what a baby," you mumble the last line, but Seungcheol was quick to catch on.

"Who you calling a baby?" He asked, cocking his eyebrow.

"You, now get out, I'm gonna change," you said, already pushing him out of the closet door since you knew he would try and stay.

"Oh come on...I can't wait until those annoying men go to sleep! The least you can do is give me a show until then," he said, winking at you.

"Go away cheol."

You shut the door in his face, laughing at how he whined from the other side.

In the past year and a half that you two had been dating, Seungcheol always was really just a big baby. Seemed all tough from the outside especially since he needed to be a good role model to his younger member's, but you all knew he was just a huge softie when it came to people he loved.

But you and his friends knew very well that if was to ever get mad, he would be very mad.

And that's why you loved ganging up with them to piss him off, see what would throw him off exactly.

He was like a bear in your opinion, soft and cuddly, but scary too.

You sighed, pushing your thoughts to the side before changing into the clothes Seungcheol had given you. Once you were done, you opened the door.

"How do I look?" You asked, turning around once.

"Covered. You look covered. Thank god," he replied with no expression. making you huff as you turned away from him, already walking out the door.

"Finally! You took so long!" Soonyoung yelled.

"Sorry guys, it took a while finding something I wanted to wear," you said, sitting back down next to Jun on the floor.

"Well you look really cute, big hoodies look so good on you," Jun said, making me smile.

"Thank you."

You felt Seungcheol sit next to you, before he kissed your cheek lovingly making you blush.

"Now who wants to go first?" Vernon asked.

"I'll go first....Soonyoung...truth or dare?" Seungkwan asked.

"Hmm....truth."

Vernon groaned, "That's so boring can we only do dares?"

"Shut up for once that isn't how you play!" Seungkwan shot, as everyone laughed.

"Guys relax, it's just a game...and yeah kwan is right, and it's his choice on what he wants to do," you said, making Vernon sigh.

"Ah, fineeee."

"Thank you, now...Soonyoung....what's the dirtiest thing you have ever done..don't worry, it's a safe place and Jihoon isn't here so he can't bully you," Seungkwan said, as everyone turned to look at Soonyoung, waiting for him to answer.

"Ahh...well..do you mean sexually..or just..dirty, dirty?" He asked awkwardly.

"Any, your choice," Vernon said, making you nod.

"Uhm...eh...well I once didn't brush my teeth and lasted on chewing gum the entire day cuz I didn't want to be late for practice and keep you guys waiting."

Everyone's eyes were on Soonyoung, making him smile sheepishly.

"It's okay, I'm sure everyone has done that at lease once in their lifetime," you said, smiling at him.

"Have you!?" Seungkwan asked, disgust written all over his face.

"Honestly, I did it once in middle school cuz I didn't want to be late for an exam," you confessed honestly, scratching the back of your neck.

"God your so honest, makes me feel like being honest too...I have done that a couple of times," Vernon said, smirking at you.

"Ewww Hansol get off me!..Y/N I'll let off because I love her but you!?" Seungkwan squeaked, pushing Vernon further away from him.

"Hey don't bully him, we're just being honest here so Soonyoung doesn't feel lonely," You said, frowning at Seungkwan.

"Okay stop, why the fuck are we even having this conversation? Isn't anyone going to even bother asking Soonyoung why the fuck he chose that as something to say for a truth?" Jun suddenly said, looking at us in disbelief.

"Oh yeah true...but I guess it was good enough," Seungkwan said making all of us nod.

"Yeah it was good, if your lucky I won't tell Jihoon," Vernon said, sticking his tongue out.

"No stop, that man never leaves me alone to start with," Soonyoung whined, making all of us laugh.

"Okay shut up and just choose who you're going to ask next," Jun groaned, rolling his eyes.

"Right, um, Vernon!"

"Ahh...dare, cuz I wanna spice things up and I'm not a pussy," Vernon said, winking at Soonyoung.

"Perfect....I dare you to call Wonwoo and tell him you spilt something on his bed sheets," Soonyoung said, wriggling his eyebrows.

"That's not a dare....that's suicide," Vernon said, as he visibly shuddered.

"This is going to be fun," Seungcheol whispered in your ear, knowing very well how angry Wonwoo gets when someone goes in his room.

You nodded your head as everyone grew silent, watching Vernon closely as he took his phone out of his pocket.

"Okay...it's ringing," Vernon said.

"Put it on speaker," Soonyoung whispered, as Vernon nodded.

"Hey, what's up?" You heard Wonwoo's deep voice through the phone, making your heart beat fast, suddenly scared for Vernon's life.

"Hey hyung...where are you?" Vernon asked nervously.

"I'm out with a few friends, I told you guys before I left...is everything okay?"

"Uhm...I...I was in y-your room cuz I wanted to uh...borrow your....pen and I spilt juice all over your bed-"

"YOU WHAT!?" Wonwoo yelled from the other side, making Soonyoung start laughing loudly.

"This is kinda boring...wanna do something else?" Jun suddenly whispered in your ear, making you turn to look at him.

"Oh come on, why isn't it fun?" You asked.

"I'd just much rather be doing something else.." Jun trailed off, making you sigh.

"Alright...what do you want to do?"

"Hmm...let's find something to eat?" Jun suggested, making you chuckle as you nodded.

You got up, about to follow Jun to the kitchen before you felt someone tug at your wrist.

"Where are you going?" Seungcheol asked.

"I'm going to the kitchen with Jun, we're gonna find something to eat," you said, pulling out of his grasp before he could answer.

"I found ice-cream!" Jun exclaimed, waving the tub of strawberry ice-cream around.

"Is that the only flavour?" You asked, looking into the fridge, as your eyes laid on another tub of vanilla ice-cream.

"Yeah sadly we only have those two, let's have both though," Jun replied, clapping his hands.

You laughed as you took the tub of vanilla ice-cream out, before grabbing two spoons.

"Let's just eat from the tub?" You asked, making Jun nod with a smile.

You grabbed the strawberry ice-cream as he grabbed the vanilla one, and you both started to open the lid, quickly taking a spoonful into your mouth.

"Ah yes! This is exactly what I needed!" You mumbled, taking another bite.

"Yeah me too...tell me when you want to swap," Jun said, pointing to his tub of ice-cream.

You nodded your head, turning around to look back at the guys.

"So whats happening?" You whispered, as Soonyoung turned to look at you.

"Well he started cursing obviously...said a few...threats but we quickly told him in was a dare and now their having a conversation about food or something," Soonyoung said, making you nod.

"I'm surprised though, thought he would be running home by now," Jun said, making you laugh.

"That literally wasn't funny, why are you laughing?" Seungkwan shot, walking up to you guys.

"I'm sick of him stealing you away, come on, truth or dare was kinda getting boring already anyways."

Before you could even open your mouth, Seungkwan had taken the ice-cream from your hands and put it back in the freezer.

"Kwan why!" You whined, pulling at his sleeve.

"Let's do something together! How about karaoke?" He suggested, making you huff.

"Yeah fine, okay.....Jun come on!"

You and Jun went back to sit on the couch, as Seungkwan took his phone out to play some songs.

"He only asked for this so he could show off," Jun whispered in your ear, making you chuckle as you rested your head on his shoulder.

Your eyes suddenly flicked to Seungcheol, who was still sitting on the floor, his eyes fixed on you. You could feel his anger, even from feet away, but that only sparked a light bulb in you.

you wanted to piss him off, really bad. and all just for the fun of it.

You had your fair share of moments in making him mad yourself. Especially on days like this, when you decided to play around with his friends to get him jealous purposely, it always ended in rough sex that ended up with you not being able to walk properly the next day...but today, you wanted to see just how many buttons you could push before he finally snapped.

and oh boy, you were about to find out just how angry you could really get him.

You looked away smirking to yourself as you snuggled into Jun, pretending to completely ignore Seungcheol's presence as you watched Seungkwan start singing and dancing.

"Yo Y/N....hyung looks mad," Vernon whispered from beside you, making you look at him.

"I know...but it's funny," you replied, smirking at him.

"Guess your right, I'm gonna take photos of him for safekeeping," Vernon said, making you chuckle.

"Alright but be careful," you reminded him.

A few minutes passed of you and Jun just laughing at Seungkwan and Soonyoung while they sang to a duet, when you decided to get up and go get a drink.

"I'm gonna go get something to drink, you want?" You asked Jun and Vernon, as you got off the couch.

They both shook their heads, making you nod slightly before walking over to the kitchen.

Aa you were pouring yourself a glass of water, you didn't realise someone was right behind you, until you bumped into their chest.

"Can't you see where your walking?" You muttered at Seungcheol, moving away from him to place the glass on the kitchen island.

He hugged you from the back, his fingernails digging into your skin.

"You...have had quite the attitude with me lately, where is this coming from...hm?" He whispered darkly in your ear, as you looked at the guys to make sure they weren't looking.

"Nowhere..and what attitude, just cuz I told you to watch where your walking?" You scoffed, trying to keep your composure when you felt his teeth graze your earlobe.

"Don't act smart with me, you know what I'm talking about," he spat, making you smile.

He bought one of his hands down to your clothed core, while the other stayed firm against your waist.

"Was it nice warming up with Jun sweetheart?" He asked rather softly, but you knew all to well not to answer such a question....but today, you would.

"Of course it was, he was so warm and cuddly I just wanted to sleep in his arms," you sighed, pretending to be day dreaming.

He turned you around suddenly, pushing you against the counter.

"I told you before, do not push me, right? I don't know why you're being so bold today but keep stepping over the line and I'll make sure you really regret it," he growled, towering over you easily.

"Look cheolie...I don't know what your talking about but I'm really just being friendly, your just overreacting," you said, rolling your eyes.

His grip on your waist tightened to the point where you winced.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?" He asked lowly, making you smirk.

"Yeah, I did, so what?" You asked irritatedly.

"Okay that's it. Get that pretty little ass of yours inside my room, now," he spat, making you scoff in disbelief.

"And what? You really think I'm just going to obey you like some puppet, go away cheolie," you smiled, kissing his cheek before pushing him away.

You smiled to yourself as you saw his shocked expression, and just as you were about to walk away, he grabbed your wrist.

"Then behave...next time, I won't be asking, I'll be dragging you myself," he warned, letting go off your wrist.

You scoffed, taking a sip off your water walking back to sit next to Jun again.

"He's still singing?" You whispered to Jun as you watched Seungkwan in shock.

"Yep...and next up is Soonyoung," Jun replied, sighing in annoyance.

While watching Seungkwan completely loose himself to a bunch of girl group songs, you saw Seungcheol from the corner of your eyes come and sit down next to you.

"Hey baby," he whispered near your ear, like you weren't just talking a few mere minutes ago.

He kissed your cheek before sitting back comfortably against the couch, his hand coming up to rest on your thigh, something he always did as a way to show you he was there- or at times like this, to just remind Jun that your boyfriend was right there.

A smile made its way to your mouth as you realised what he was doing.

You turned to look at him, before moving a little closer to his ear.

"Awh is cheolie scared Jun will take me from you?" You whispered, before looking away and back to Seungkwan, who was still dancing.

"Everyone here knows you belong to me, love, but I think your the one that needs a reminder," he whispered back with his jaw clenched.

You chuckled as you rested your head on Jun's shoulder, scooting more closer to him.

"Your really warm, Jun," you said, loud enough so Seungcheol would hear.

Jun smiled, figuring out exactly what you were trying to do, and he was happy to help...how could he ever say no to a chance of pissing off someone like choi seungcheol?

"Are you cold? It must be his hoodie that isn't keeping you that warm..I have this really warm one that would look so cute on you," Jun said, making you smirk mentally.

"Really? Can I wear-"

You words were stuck in your throat when you felt Seungcheol's grip on your thigh tighten, but you quickly cleared your throat.

"Yeah of course, I'll go get it for you," Jun said, making you push Seungcheol's hand off your thigh before getting up.

"Sit down," Seungcheol suddenly said, just as you were about to follow Jun to his room.

You leaned down, pecking his neck before answering. "Stop being so jealous baby, I just want to wear something warmer."

His eyes narrowed on you, as you heard him grit his teeth. "You want something warm, then let's head to bed."

You chuckled lowly, bringing your hand up to ruffle his hair before pulling at his cheeks.

"I don't want your dick, cheol," you deadpanned, before walking away.

Just as you got to Jun's room, he had already got out the hoodie he was talking about.

"Here, you can change in the bathroom if you want," he said, handing the hood to you.

You nodded your head before walking to his bathroom, and locking the door behind you.

Taking off Seungcheol's hoodie, you frowned a little, knowing he could be hurt that you took off his favorite hoodie that he wanted you to wear, just so you could play around with him.

Shaking your head, you decided to just go with it, knowing he most likely won't mind since he probably knows your just trying to get him worked up.

you should've stopped there.

You fixed your hair after putting on Jun's hoodie, loving the way it suited you, and even though Seungcheol's hoodie was keeping you warm, this one was too.

"Wow you look amazing in it," Jun complimented, as you came out of the bathroom.

"Thank you, I love it!"

He smiled at you before the both of you walked out of the door and back to the living room.

You threw Seungcheol's hoodie to his face, making Jun and Vernon laugh.

"You have guts I admire," Vernon complimented you, as Seungcheol slowly pulled the hoodie away from his face, his angry eyes throwing daggers to your amused ones.

"You fucking did not," he drawled, making you smile at him innocently.

"What? I wanted to wear it," you said, flicking your hair as you went back to sit in between Jun and Seungcheol.

Seungcheol sighed angrily, his fingers curling into fists. He always loved that you wore his clothes, because he could smell himself all over you, but now that you wore Jun's, he wanted nothing more than to rip it off your body.

"What's wrong Seungcheol, you don't look well," you asked innocently, grabbing his arm and snuggling into him purposely, knowing he could smell Jun on you.

"Stop," he warned, making you smile.

"Alright, I'll leave you alone then," you said, pulling away from him and hugging Jun, leaning your head on his chest.

"Hey Jun, do you want to sing together?" You asked, as Jun looked at you.

"Yeah of course, let's join them," he said, grabbing your hand and pulling you up.

You both started joining in on the song Seungkwan and Soonyoung were so immersed in, as you forced Vernon to join aswell.

"Cheolie come join us," you said, turning to look at him.

He didn't respond, just looked at you blankly, but you knew he was burning in anger.

You bit your lip, wondering if you really had just crossed over the line, you knew far too well that when Seungcheol got angry he was brutal and merciless.

Just to be safe, you walked over to him and sat on his lap before pecking his cheek.

"You okay?" you asked carefully, massaging his tensed shoulders.

"Don't suck up to me now, you've pissed me off well enough already...I'm holding you responsible for this, not him," he growled, his eyes never leaving yours.

"It was a joke cheol, lighten up," you mumbled, slightly getting worried for yourself.

"Get off my lap and go enjoy your fun while you can," he whispered darkly, making a shiver run down your spine.

You hesitantly got off, giving him a small smile before turning around and walking back to the guys.

Seungcheol's words echoed in your mind while you sang and danced, and as much as you tried to ignore them, they only made you grow anxious, but also a little excited.

go enjoy your fun while you can

You knew you should've tried harder and maybe even apologised, but the look he gave you when he told you to get off his lap was enough to make you obey without even a second to loose.

While you were busy in your thoughts, you didn't hear Jun call your name, until he carried you up suddenly making you squeal.

"You seemed zoned out so I wanted to wake you up," he said, laughing at your shaken expression.

"God you scared m-"

"Put her down," Seungcheol's deep voice made everyone stop moving, as they turned to look at him.

"Relax we're just having fun," Jun said, holding you tighter as you wrapped your hands around his neck to support yourself.

"Just put her down hyung," Seungkwan whispered, as I looked at Jun.

"It's okay Jun you can put me down," I said, we were so close I could feel his hot breath against my skin.

"Okay this is my queue I'm suddenly tired, good night guys," Vernon said, giving me a smile before running off to his room.

Jun smiled at you, before turning to look at Seungcheol.

"And what if I don't want to?" He asked, raising one of his eyebrows at him.

Seungcheol got up, making you bite your lip as you realised this wasn't going to end well.

He put his hands in his pockets as he stood right in front of you guys. Seungcheol was beyond angry at this point, and mostly just pissed off at this moment with how his younger member was talking back to him, he wasn't going to let that happen.

"I think you've forgotten your place, but I'll ask you once more...let.her.go," Seungcheol drawled, his low dominant tone sending shivers down your spine.

"Jun," you called softly, patting him on the chest.

He sighed, nodding his head before putting you down slowly before Seungcheol grabbed your wrist roughly, pulling you to his side.

"Hey! Be careful!" You mumbled, trying to pull away from his grasp, but he only tightened it.

"That's enough for one night, it's already past 12, everyone go to bed," Seungcheol said sternly, making Seungkwan and Soonyoung nod, before turning the TV off. As much as they wanted to continue singing, they knew better than to annoy their leader when he already seemed so on edge.

"Look I'm sorry, okay? We were just messing around...she's yours and I know that," Jun said, patting Seungcheol's shoulder before winking your way.

"Goodnight guys," he added, before walking away.

You swallowed harshly when you heard Jun's room door open and close. Seungcheol was still not saying anything to you, but you could feel the anger radiating off him, as he was still looking straight ahead.

"Now you...." He trailed off, finally meeting eyes with you.

You bit your bottom lip, wanting nothing more than to dash out of the apartment before he could say anything more.

"Get your ass in my room before I drag you there myself," he spat, his voice laced with authority.

He let go of your wrist, making you rub the sore area as you nodded your head.

You feet walked for themselves as your mind clouded with nothing but regret, why did you even think of this stupid idea again?

You knew Seungcheol was right behind you from his heavy steps and slow breathing, his eyes burning holes into your back.

Once you were in his room, you heard the door shut behind you, before the faint sound of the lock perked your ears.

You didn't dare turn around, as you kept your eyes to the ground, not knowing how to get out of this situation.

should've thought this through huh.

You thought to yourself, before you were forced to shoo away your thoughts when you heard Seungcheol clear his throat.

"Turn around."

You did as he said, hoping he'd forgive you if you at least listened to him now.

"How long did you wanna keep that act up, hm?" He asked, as you looked down at your entwined fingers.

"I-I was j-just-"

"Look at me when I'm talking to you," he drawled, making you look up at him slowly.

"I was just messing with you cheol, I didn't think you would take it that seriously," you bravely said, making Seungcheol nod.

"Hmm..well didn't I warn you before not to fuck around with me like that?" He shot, making you bite your bottom lip, not knowing how to answer him.

"Y-Yes....yes you did...I-I'm sorry," you whispered, trying your hardest not to look away from him.

He sighed irritatedly, eyeing you head to toe.

"Take it off."

"Huh?" You asked dumbly, making Seungcheol swallow harshly, his adam's apple bobbing up and down.

"Take off his hoodie," he spat, making you slowly nod.

You bought your shaky fingers to the hem of the hoodie, playing with it slightly.

"For fucks sake hurry up, or I'm gonna have to rip it off myself."

You quickly pulled it over your head, throwing it to the couch in his room before you covered yourself with your arms, feeling a little conscious since you were only wearing a bra inside.

"Good."

He started slowly walking to you, making you take a step back as you watched him unbutton the first few buttons on his shirt.

"Never, ever let me catch you wearing any of their clothes ever again, understood?" He drawled, a hand coming up to caress your cheek.

"O-Okay," you mumbled, as his hand on your cheek went down to your neck.

"So, why did you decide to piss me off so much today, love?" His voice was somewhat calm, which was starting to freak you out.

"I-I..."

"Loss of words I see? Well let me tell you what I think then.."

He pulled you closer to him, his hand caressing the back of your neck.

"Was it because you suddenly felt the need to get me angry just so you could laugh about it later?...well whose laughing now sweetheart?" He mused, chuckling at your facial expression.

"Or maybe it was because you knew, once you were done and we were alone...I'd fuck all the right senses into you, have you screaming while I showed you no mercy whatsoever.."

You bit back a whine at his words, the dominance in his voice shooting right down to your throbbing pussy.

"You knew god damn well not to piss me off like that, fuck around with my friends like a fucking whore while I was right.there...what did you get out of that anyways?" He spat angrily.

You kept quiet, which only pissed him off further. "Answer me."

"I-I...don't know...I just wanted to..a-annoy you..." You trailed off, your breath getting caught in your throat when he wrapped his fingers around your neck.

"Well darling...you definetly did get something out of it....and it's not going to be fun for you," he growled, his grip on your neck tightening.

"I-I'm sorry.....I-I w-won't d-do it a-again," you stuttered out, holding onto his hand on your throat.

"Oh you won't, and I'll make sure of it," he spat, before letting you go and dropping his arms to the side.

He moved away from you and sat down on the edge of his bed, before calling you over with his finger.

"Come here princess."

You swallowed harshly, before walking over to him slowly. You stood in front of him, waiting for his next order.

"Take off your...my pants," he said, watching you closely.

You slowly bent down, pulling his sweatpants down your body before shaking it off your feet.

"Good....now I want you over my lap."

Your eyes widened, knowing exactly what that meant.

"Cheol, look, I'm sorry and-"

"I said, over. my. lap," he repeated sternly, making you swallow harshly.

You climbed over his lap, your limbs starting to shake when he placed one of his big warm hands over your ass, smoothing over it.

"You've...made it quiet the habit to disobey me...especially in front of my friends...and I am fucking sick of it...but you won't do it again, right baby?" He asked you softly, his hands pulling at your ass, avoiding the area you needed him the most.

"Y-Yes I won't..I won't do it again, I promise," your lips quivered, bracing for the impact.

It was silent for a while, before you felt his palm make contact with your ass harshly, causing you to lurch forward with a cry leaving your lips.

"Yeah that's right, be as loud as you can, rooms soundproof remember?..but I think you would've loved it if it wasn't hey?" He drawled, smacking you once again.

"Sh-shit!" You bit your lip, as you felt the strong burning sensation spread.

"Did you enjoy warming up to another man right in front of me?" Seungcheol growled, before smacking your ass once again, this time to the other cheek.

You groaned in pain, your elbows giving out, making you land face first onto the mattress.

"Answer when you are spoken to slut."

You turned your face to the side, looking up at him. "N-No I d-didn't."

"And will you ever do it again?" He spat, his hand soothing the red skin.

"Depends," you mumbled, smirking devilishly as you looked up at him.

His clenched his jaw, as his hands crawled up your skin and to your hair, pulling on it as you screamed.

"Guess I'll have to keep going until I get a satisfied answer from you then."

Your eyes shut tightly as another hard hit landed on your already aching cheeks.

It only got worse from there, as his hits got harder, and faster, as you cried in pain.

Your lower body suddenly felt numb, as Seungcheol stopped.

"Now try again....will you ever let a man that close to you ever again?"

You shook your head vigorously, "N-No never."

Seungcheol chuckled, his grip tightening on your hair.

"Good." He whispered, dragging his finger down your clothed core, chuckling deeply at how wet you were.

"What a fucking slut...are you seriously wet from this?"

You felt the heat rush to your cheeks as you refused to look at him.

"Or are you wet from flirting with Jun from before," he drawled, pulling your panties down roughly.

You didn't reply, which only made Seungcheol angrier as he spanked you again, making more tears fill your eyes.

"Tell me...while you flirt with other men and get close to them...do you at least remember who you belong to?" He asked, another loud smack landing on the same area as the last two.

You moaned loudly, finally feeling the pain subside a little as you only had the diritest thoughts running in your head now..but of course, your boyfriend had other plans.

He scoffed, "No answer, let's see if you'll talk after this."

Two of his fingers found your dripping entrance, before pushing into you roughly without any warning.

You mewled at the feeling of his thick fingers sliding into your walls, as you gripped the sheets below you.

"I'm not gonna move my fingers until you speak princess."

You groaned loudly, trying to push yourself on his fingers since he wasn't going to do it for you anytime soon, but as soon as you tried, he gripped your hair tighter.

"Don't even think about it. Now answer me."

"God Seungcheol, yes! I-I do remember who I b-belong t-to," you moaned out, when he added a third finger.

"Mmmh....you sure, cuz it didn't look like you thought of me before..." He trailed off, taking his fingers out of you before pulling your panties back on.

"Why-"

Your whine got stuck in your throat when he landed another hard slap on your ass, making you jolt forward in surprise.

"I don't like lies princess," he growled, rubbing your cheeks as you felt your sticky substance spread all over your ass.

"I-I d-did....think o-of you," you whined, wanting nothing more than his fingers stuffed back in your pussy.

"No, you didn't...cuz if you did you wouldn't have done any of that in the first place," he spat, before he smacked you once again.

A moan left your lips, as you bit your lip to stop any other sound from escaping, as Seungcheol tsked.

"Oh? I see my little slut has started enjoying this, thats not good."

In seconds he had pulled you up by your hair, making you stand on your wobbling legs as he let go off you.

"On your knees, hands behind your back."

You did as you were told as you looked up, watching Seungcheol pull down his sweatpants along with his boxers.

One of his hands found purchase in your hair as he pulled you closer. "You've found ways to piss me off the entire day, your smart remarks, talking back to me...so lets finally put that dirty mouth of yours to good use hm?"

You swallowed harshly, nodding your head as your eyes fell on his red tip, that already had a little bit of pre-cum dripping down.

"Remember, no touching, and if I see your legs give out even a little....I won't be nice," He growled, gripping your hair tighter as his other hand guided his cock to your closed lips.

He opened his mouth, signalling you to do the same thing.

You gulped, knowing he wasn't going to go soft on you by the angry look in his eyes that still hadn't faded. You opened your mouth slowly as Seungcheol almost instantly pushed himself into you.

You gagged around him when you felt him hit the back of your throat, your mouth stretching beyond comfort as he used your mouth without any mercy.

"Look up at me, I wanna see my cock in your mouth properly," he rasped out, as you moaned around his length.

You looked up, watching how his eyes stared at you so intensely that you almost felt enchanted by them, the beads of sweat rolling down his face his expression filled with pure pleasure. But you were bought back to reality when you felt Seungcheol push more of his length down your throat as you choked around him, tears starting to fill your eyes.

"L-Look at you now princess, not so strong anymore hm? God this is the only good thing your mouth can do," he spat, before a long moan left his lips when you hallowed your cheeks, sucking on him.

You wanted to touch him, so badly, especially since you knew your legs couldn't support you much longer, but it would only anger him more so you tried your best to stand up straight as he fucked into your mouth much faster.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck....you take me in so well babygirl..just like that, I'm close," he groaned, gripping your hair tighter as you felt his cock twitch in your mouth.

He went faster as you whimpered slightly, your mouth starting to burn at his rough movements. He pushed you forward right down to his pelvic bone, making you let out the most sinful sounds.

After what felt like hours of his torture on you, he finally released in your mouth, some of it sliding straight down your throat before he pulled your head back, more of his cum hitting your tongue.

He pulled out of you, giving you the look that told you to swallow everything.

Your chest heaved up and down as you swallowed, the strong salty substance making your body tingle.

"Open your mouth, I wanna see it all gone," he asked, his own breathing erratic as he looked down at you.

You opened you mouth, sticking your tongue out, earning a moan of appreciation from your boyfriend.

"Good."

You looked up at him with half lidded eyes, silently telling him to let you get up as your knees started burning, along with your aching ass that still tingled in pain.

"You're so messy," he cooed, wiping the saliva mixed with his cum that was all over your mouth and chin with his hand.

He pulled you up by your hair, making you yelp in surprise."You were so good for me...but don't think I didn't notice your legs waver," he whispered darkly, making your eyes widen.

"Ch-Cheol I-I-"

"On the bed, legs spread out," he commanded, cutting you off.

"B-But Seungcheol I...my knees s-started getting uncomf-"

"Are you really going to make me repeat that again?" He growled, eyeing you angrily.

You swallowed harshly, shaking your head before moving away from him, your shaky hands and legs moving down to lay on the bed, as you hesitantly spread your legs a little, barely.

Seungcheol watched you with predatorial eyes, scoffing at you.

"I said, spread your legs," he spoke through gritted teeth, sitting down on the edge of the bed as he watched you while he rolled the sleeves of his button up.

You hesitantly spread your legs even further your drenched clothed core on full display to Seungcheol's hungry eyes.

"I want it all coming off your body," he said, pointing to your bra and panties.

You were quick to comply, starting with unclasping your bra before throwing it to the side, before you pulled down your panties, flicking it to the side.

"I haven't even touched you properly, yet your soaked," He said, tilting his head to the side a little, his eyes trained on your dripping entrance, making you shut your thighs tightly together out of reflex.

"Ah, ah, ah....spread them out," he warned, making you bite your bottom lip, as you slowly spread your legs once again.

"Now, touch yourself."

You were shocked at his words, Seungcheol never let you touch yourself...so you knew something was up.

You looked at him with slightly widened eyes.

"A-Are you serious?"

"Was I speaking in french?" He shot boredly, making you gulp as you shook your head.

You bought your fingers down to your seeping entrance, glancing at Seungcheol once before dipping one of your fingers in.

You moaned softly, adding a second finger when you realised it wasn't enough, as you started a slow pace.

"Go faster," Seungcheol's deep voice reminded you he was still in the room, as you looked over at him with hazy eyes.

You went faster, throwing your head back as you moaned over and over again, forgetting everything around you as you just focused on making yourself cum.

You felt your walls clench around your fingers, as you let out a long moan, the coil in your stomache threatening to snap.

And just as you were about to come undone, your fingers were yanked out of you.

"Seungcheol!" You almost screamed, shaking your legs around as he chuckled.

"Go again."

You hurriedly stuffed your fingers back in once he let go off your wrist, slowly building up the pleasure once again. You bought your free hand down to your clit, rubbing the bundle of nerves to bring you closer to the edge, the need to cum growing stronger by the second.

You worked your fingers harder, moaning and shaking as you came all around your fingers. Your breathing was uneven as you closed your eyes, completely sated.

Your happy mood was quickly ripped away when Seungcheol grabbed your thighs.

"Did you enjoy that sweetheart?" He asked sweetly, but you knew better.

He ran his thumb down your gushing entrance, making you shiver.

"Yes..."

"Yes what?" He growled, pushing in four of his fingers into you at once as you groaned.

"Yes....d-daddy," you moaned out breathlessly.

"Hmm...so much cum," he whispered, nuzzling his nose into your folds.

He lapped up the cum that had seeped out of your hole while he started moving his fingers in you, making you moan softly, your fingers tangling in his hair.

He looked up at you, his lips glistening in your essence as he glared at you.

"No touching," he mumbled, making you nod before letting go off him to grip the sheets underneath you.

Just as you felt your release was close, Seungcheol pulled his fingers out of you, before crawling over your body as he licked his fingers clean.

You whined as you clenched around nothing, feeling empty without his fingers.

"Don't worry baby, you'll have something in your pussy in no time," one of his hands came up to circle around your throat, while the other stayed firm against your hip.

"Now I'm going to tell you exactly what I'm going to do to you, and your going to listen alright?"

You nodded your head, as Seungcheol's grip on your throat tightened.

"Words, love," he warned.

"Y-Yes....daddy," you half moaned when you felt his lips graze your hardened nipple.

"I'm going to fuck you hard, tire you out so much to the point where you'll be begging me to stop...'cause that's what dirty whores like you want right? Well I'll gladly give it to you," he growled, flipping you over suddenly so you were laying on your back, your ass in the air.

"D-Don't be r-rough," you stuttered out, a shiver running down your spine when you felt the tip of his cock slowly circle your tight rim.

"You really thought I was going to go soft on you after that little stunt?" He asked, groping your ass as he spat in his other hand, rubbing it all over his cock as extra lubricant. He pushed his tip into you without warning, making you cry out for more.

"I see my little sluts getting impatient, hm?" He mused from behind you, before he landed a hit on your right cheek, making you hang your head down, moaning loudly.

"Seungcheol please," You groaned, as you tried to push yourself back on his cock, but he was quick to grip your hips, stopping your movements.

"Your not going to get it that easy...beg for it, slut," he spat, another smack landing on your ass.

"Daddy please.....I want you so bad," you whined, swaying your hips a little.

"Why should I give you what you want when all you've been doing tonight is disobeying me?"

"I-I'll be good, I p-promise...ch-cheol, please," you moaned out, as you felt your arousal drip down your thighs and onto the sheets

"You really are such a needy whore, you know that? You flirt with other guys, pretend like I can't see what your doing....and now your shamelessly begging me to fuck you?"

"N-No...all I want is y-you," you stuttered out, all shame leaving your mind, as the only thing that was running through your mind was Seungcheol fucking you.

He growled lowly before pushing into you completely, filling your ass to the brim.

"Fuck....d-daddy you feel so good," you moaned out, as your hands that were keeping you up finally gave out, as your face landed on the pillow.

"Such a whore...get up and look at me."

You did as he said, getting back up on your shaking arms before turning back to look at him. His jaw was clenched down, and the look he had in his eyes was enough to show you how much of a deep hole you were in.

"Tell me...could Jun or any other guy fuck you like this?" He growled, as he pulled out of you before slamming back into you with force.

You broke eye contact with him, as you hit the pillow below you once again from the impact.

"Answer me, or I'll stop," he warned, making you whine.

"N-No, cheol....n-no o-one c-could," you somehow made out, even with you mind all over the place, the only thng you could focus on being Seungcheol.

"Yeah thats right, no one could use you like I fucking do," he spat, smacking your ass harshly, making you choke on your moans.

His movements went rougher, as you felt the tears of pleasure blur your sight. "Ch-cheol, go s-slower."

You felt his hand wrap around your throat, before he pulled you up roughly, your back hitting his chest as your eyes rolled to the back of your head at the angle his cock was hitting you.

"Your in no position to be telling me what to do, so I suggest you just take what I give you, I'm pissed off as it is," he growled in your ear, before his lips found your neck, biting down on your sensitive skin.

A scream left your throat as you felt the coil in your stomach tighten, feeling your release was close.

"Cum only when I tell you to," he whispered in your ear, before placing kisses on your cheek, which shocked you at his sudden softness.

"All mine, your entire body belongs to me...right babygirl?" He asked sweetly, snapping his hips harshly as you heard him grunt into your ear.

"Y-Yes...sh-shit cheol you feel so g-good," you cried out, the tears rolling down your face as you shook uncontrollably.

"I can feel you clenching, don't you dare cum," he warned, as his grip tightened on your throat, making you a little dizzy.

Tons of moans slipped from your lips, as you threw your head back onto Seungcheol's chest, screaming out his name.

Seungcheol's free hand went down your stomach, before his fingers slipped through your wet folds.

You let out a guttural moan, shaking your head as Seungcheol pressed hard circles into your clit.

"I-I need....to..c-cum plea-"

"Not yet, this is your punishment for not behaving properly...so if you want to make it worse for you, by all means...cum all you want like the slut you are," he seethed, before his lips went back to sucking dark purple and red marks into your neck.

"Cheol please!" You screamed, and without any other warning you felt yourself fall over the edge, the pleasure washing over you in waves as you moaned loudly, your body shaking.

Seungcheol growled angrily, pulling his fingers away from your clit before pushing you down on the bed harshly.

"Now your really pissing me off," he spat, pulling out of you as you sighed in content, letting your eyes close as you relaxed on the mattress.

He flipped you around, his fingers running down your entrance.

"Didn't I tell you not to cum yet?" He asked, eyes flaring at you.

You looked at him lazily. "I c-couldn't take it...I'm s-sorry."

"A sorry isn't going to fix this baby," he smiled at you, grabbing your thighs and pulling you towards him.

"Since my little whore can't seem to do as she's told, I'm willing to let you go on this one..."

"W-What?" You stuttered out.

"Since you want to cum so badly, let's see how much you can until you can't take it anymore," he smiled devilishly, as you felt the tip of his cock rub your folds.

A quiet moan left your lips, as you snaked your arms around Seungcheol's neck.

"Your not allowed to touch me, hands above your head," he spat, making you whine.

"Why baby...you love it when I touch you don't you?" You asked with a pout, your fingers raking down his arms.

"You don't deserve to touch me," he shot, grabbing your wrists and placing them above your head.

"Keep them there."

You nodded your head slowly, licking your lips as Seungcheol's eyes travelled to yours, before trailing down to your lips.

He wanted to kiss you, so badly, but he wasn't going to give in to you. Just the thought of Jun touching you was enough to have his blood boiling and all self control leaving him.

"Gonna fuck you so good, you'll think of this everytime you do so much as think of touching another man," he growled in your ear, before he slammed up into you roughly.

You groaned from the stretch, your walls sucking in his cock slowly as he moaned from above you.

"Shit fuck your still so tight," he hoarsed out, his lips finding your right nipple, before he had it between his teeth.

You felt him fill you to the brim, balls deep as you moaned into his ear from the feeling of being so full.

"Your hands are staying there, remember," he warned, making you nod as he completely pulled out, before pushing back into you.

Your fingers curled into fists as you moaned over and over again, Seungcheol's pace going faster by the seconds passing.

His lips bit into the sensitive flesh just under your collarbones, making you scream.

"Cheol what the fuck that hurt you idiot!" You angrily said, pushing his face away. Seungcheol was quick at becoming very aggressive when you guys normally had sex, especially if he was stressed or in a bad mood...or very pissed off at something you did like right now.

One of his hands left your hip to tangle in your hair, as he pulled on it, ignoring your angry eyes as he bit his lip, snapping his hips up into you.

You shook furiously, your orgasm quickly approaching as you threw your head back, tons of moans escaping your mouth.

"You enjoy being fucked like this doll? You love it when I use you like this don't you?" He asked, his mouth parting as you heard the ragged breaths that left his lips as he didn't slow his pace down. You nodded furiously, moaning out his name as you felt your release was close.

"Words."

"Y-Yes...yes I-I do, I l-love it!" You whimpered, your mind going blank as you could only focus on Seungcheol abusing your walls, and the sinful sounds leaving his mouth.

"Sh-shit cheol...y-you need to s-slow d-down," you somehow made out, as you felt him twitch inside you.

Seungcheol moaned into your ear, his hand in your hair loosening as he gripped your hips instead, his fingernails digging into your skin.

He ignored your words, his mouth sucking colorful marks into your neck as you cried out his name.

"Gonna fill you full of my cum, until it has no choice but to drip out of you...and then I'm gonna fuck it back into you," he whispered darkly, another heavenly groan leaving his lips.

"That should teach a whore like you to remember who she belongs to," he added, looking at you right in the eye.

His eyes were a few shades darker than usual, the lust and hunger evident in them as he bit his lips.

"Open your mouth."

You did as you were told, staying quiet as he pushed in three of his fingers into your mouth. You sucked on them happily, rolling your tongue around each digit before he was pulling them out.

"God your so hot," he muttered, bringing his coated fingers to your clit, before he started rubbing you roughly.

A garbled moan left your mouth as you came all over his cock, shaking in pure ecstasy while he rode out your orgasm.

He came soon after with a few more thrusts, his hot liquid filling you up as you shuddered from the warmth, closing your tired eyes.

You thought he was done when he started shifting and pulled out of you, but you were too tired to open your heavy eyelids to see. He placed one of your thighs over his shoulder, making your eyes shoot up.

"W-Wait what are you doing?"

"Who ever said I was done with you princess?" He asked, kissing your thigh before he was pushing into you once again.

"N-not more ch-cheol...I-I can't," you breathlessly moaned, the new angle making your insides tingle as you eyes rolled to the back of your head.

He snapped his hips, pounding into you deeply as he let out grunts and moans every now and then.

"Of course you can take more, that's what my slut is used for right? Taking what daddy gives her like a good girl."

"Please Seungcheol...n-no," your head started spinning as you lost all clear mind on what was happening, the pleasure being too much to handle.

"You love cumming like a little desperate slut without my permission, right? So come on, keep cumming, I'm not going to stop anytime soon."

Your eyes widened, was he serious?

The anger in his eyes was enough to give you the answer, he was genuinely still mad and you knew you had to make up for it.

"Ch-cheol...I'm s-sorry...s-so sorry I won't d-do that e-ever a-..again," you breathed out, squeezing your eyes shut as you felt the pleasure shake through your body as you came once again.

"Told you I'd make you beg.." He trailed off with a chuckle, as his fingers thread through you hair.

"Tell me...who do you belong to slut?"

"Y-You....y-you Seungcheol!" You screamed, tears spilling from your eyes.

"That's right...your all for me, and me alone...am I understood?" He growled, making you nod your head feverishly.

"Yes...y-yes, yes," you mumbled, your thighs shaking violently as Seungcheol fucked you through your orgasm, the oversensitivity causing you to cry out for him to stop.

"I-It h-hurts stop!" You sobbed out, looking up at him through bleary eyes. His eyes bore back into yours with nothing but lust, as he continued his pace without any mercy on you.

The pleasure mixed with slight pain at his rough movements, leaving you breathless, unable to move, and shocked that he still had so much stamina to keep going.

you really had hit the wrong nerve tonight, one you don't think you'll ever risk touching ever again.

He placed your thigh back on the mattress, before his fingers went down to your aching pussy, before he started rubbing tight circles into your clit, abusing the already swollen nub. A sudden wave of sensitivity hit you, as you came once again, throwing your head back as you whimpered.

His lips leaned down to lick and suck at your neck, making sure to paint as many marks as he could so you wouldn't be able to cover it the next morning.

"Think of this, think of this very moment every time you decide to get under my skin," he growled in your ear, before he moaned lowly, ropes of his cum filling you up once again.

He pulled out completely, a sigh leaving your lips as you looked down at him, as he watched his cum mixed with your own leak out of your hole, as you clenched around nothing.

"You look so pretty stuffed with my cum princess...makes me feel like fucking you like this all night," he moaned, swiping his thumb up and down your entrance, loving the way you squirmed under his touch and how more of his cum only oozed out, dripping onto the sheets.

He bought his fingers to your mouth, forcing them in as you sucked them clean of his cum.

"Want more?" He asked, bringing his fingers back down to your entrance, pushing them into you and collecting more of his liquid.

You nodded your head, knowing you would only anger him if you didn't accept it.

"Now that's my good girl...you always need me fucking the right senses into you, don't you? Because now your being so perfect...just how I like it," he nuzzled his nose into your neck, as you sucked on his fingers.

He entered you again, making you look at him in shock as he took his fingers out of your mouth.

"N-No....not again," your voice broke as Seungcheol kissed your cheek lovingly.

"Just one more princess...one more and thats it I promise."

He connected his lips to yours as he started moving his hips, his fingers going down to play with your clit. He pinched the nub between his fingers, as you felt yourself get lost in pleasure once again.

The next morning you woke up early, even though you had slept pretty late- well more like passed out.

Even in your shaken and aching state last night, you remembered Seungcheol carrying you into his bathroom and running you a warm bath as he joined you. He had whispered sweet nothings into your ear, apologising over and over again if he had been too rough on you as he cleaned you up.

After a long bath, he tucked you into bed before snuggling with you.

You smiled at the memory, as you finished tying your hair up. You walked out of the bathroom, your eyes falling on a still sleeping cheol, his fluffy hair all over his face and his mouth slightly agape, soft breaths falling from his full lips.

Giggling quietly, you grabbed your phone from the bedside table before walking out of his room slowly.

The morning light shone through the windows into the dorm room, as you limped into the kitchen, you needed something hot, preferably tea to ease your aching muscles.

"Good morning," you heard Jun's voice, breaking the silence around the dorm.

"Morning," you said back, turning to look at him as you placed your tea bag in the cup of hot water.

"Your up early," he mumbled, yawning loudly as he stretched, making you giggle.

"Yeah...I got hungry...you want some tea?" You asked, pointing to your cup, making him shake his head.

"Nah it's okay, I just want some milk," he replied, walking to the fridge.

"Morning baby," you heard from behind you, making you jump a little.

You turned around, smiling once your eyes laid on Seungcheol's warm ones. Although you were a bit anxious to be near him especially when Jun was there, you still hugged him, before pecking his lips.

"Morning," you whispered, letting go of him as you turned back around to finish your tea.

"Good Morning Jun," Seungcheol said before wrapping his arms around your waist, hugging you from behind.

You winced as his arms pressed into your aching skin, but you tried to ignore it.

"Morning hyung....slept well?" He asked, winking at Seungcheol before pouring himself a glass of milk.

"Very well, how about you?" He replied, kissing your neck shamelessly in front of him, making you squirm in his touch, your cheeks heating up.

"Yeah pretty good..." He trailed off, throwing a sly smirk at the both of you before putting his empty glass in the sink.

"Well I'm off to get some groceries, before the others come home to kill me...it's my turn for this week," Jun said, making you laugh.

"Wanna come?" He asked you, tilting his head a little.

You were about to reply yes but Seungcheol bet you to it.

"I'm taking her out somewhere so sorry, she can't come," he said, making Jun shrug.

"Okay, have fun guys..and Y/N...maybe wear something else," he added, before walking towards the door.

You looked down at Seungcheol's hoodie that you were wearing, your eyes growing bigger when you realised it failed to cover all the marks on your neck.

Seungcheol chuckled, nuzzling his face into your neck making you laugh as it tickled you softly.

"Hey cheol...were you serious about going out?" You asked, as you felt him place kisses all over your neck.

"Yeah I was...I have a place in mind, your going to love it," he said, before kissing your cheek.

"Alright, but first can we go to my apartment so I can get some decent clothes?" You asked, making Seungcheol chuckle, his dimples on full display.

"Yeah your right let's go."

#seungcheol smut #s.coups smut #seungcheol scenarios #seungcheol imagines #seventeen smut #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #kpop smut

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