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august-grey · 2 years

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i don't need your closure | Chapter 11

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masterpost

June 1986

“So let me get this straight.” Jill’s incredulous voice crackled through the phone as Alice paced circles around her bedroom. “You like this guy, right? No, don’t deny it. I’m not stupid, Alice. You spent an entire school year either heartbroken by, pissed off at, or strait up avoiding even thinking about this guy. The same guy who has been sending you thousands of letters that I’ve been begging you to read. And you finally do and what do you know, just as I suspected. An apology and declaration of love. Isn’t this good news? What am I missing here?”

“It’s…complicated.” Alice flopped backwards onto her bed and toed off her running shoes, the chord of the phone twisting around her wrist as she tried to get comfortable. God, she was exhausted. She hated to admit it, but Steve was right. Mrs. Jenkins’ dogs were vicious little beasts. Beginning her mornings with a two mile walk consisting of being yanked into the streets by one dog while simultaneously being tripped by another and nipped at by the third wasn’t exactly howAlice envisioned her summer break.

“Okay, cool. Insightful. And you’re upset because you still don’t know the whole story because you haven’t read any of his other letters?”

“Yep.”

“Right, logical. Have you happened to, I don’t know, talk to him about it?”

“Uh, absolutely I have not.” It had been nine whole days since the drive-in fiasco and nine whole days since she has interacted with Steve. Not that Alice is counting. She also definitely hasn’t timed Steve’s mail route down to the minute so there hasn’t been a chance of accidentally running into him around town. Because that would be crazy.

“Have you talked to anyone about it, besides me? Your townie friends or the gaggle of children you hang out with?”

“No way, they’ll just tell me to talk to him and what good will that do?”

“Well, it’d probably solve the majority of your problems much more quickly than how it’s going currently, Alice.”

“Ugh, whatever. When are you you coming to visit? I’m losing my mind here, Jillian.”

“Yeah, about that…”

“Jill, no.” Alice whined, knowing what was coming next.

“I’m sorry! My uncle needs someone to completely overhaul the filing system over at his law firm. Alice, there’s 24 years worth of files that I’m being paid good money to go through. This is my literal dream come true; you know how much I love other people’s drama. That’s why we’re such good friends!”

“I don’t have drama.” Alice huffed defensively.

“There is a boxful of angsty, unread love letters in your possession that suggests otherwise.”

“Touché.”

“Why don’t you just come here for a while? It’d get your mind off you-know-who for a while until you get the balls to actually confront your feelings.”

“Jilly, I couldn’t if I wanted to. Car, remember?”

True to her word, Alice’s mother had insisted that she take her car in for a tune-up, and Alice, not wanting to argue with her mother, had complied. Not to mention Alice could do without a repeat incident of what had happened when her car had broken down. The good news was the cause of the the overheating was fixable. The bad news was that it was going to cost Alice $296 to replace her faulty radiator.

Now, $296 wasn’t exactly something Alice had lying around. Her mother, bless her, had offered to front Alice the cash, but Alice quickly declined. Claudia was already doing everything she could to keep the household running and Dustin comfortable, and Alice couldn’t let herself take anything away from that. She sure as hell wasn’t going to ask her father for money; the bastard was barely paying child support to begin with and rarely contacted the kids he abandoned the way it was. No, Alice wasn’t about to open door. So that left just one option: job hunting.

Unfortunately for Alice, summer work was slim pickings in Hawkins. Between the small shops around town being shut down after losing business to Starcourt and then said mall being destroyed by a giant flesh-monster, there weren’t many jobs to go around. After hearing the astronomical price of the work her car needed, Alice had spent a full day biking around town, putting in applications at every business she could possibly think of.

When she hadn’t heard from a single one of them in the following days, Alice had begun to feel desperate. She briefly considered begging Keith for a job at the video store, before she made one last ditch effort and broke out the bin of craft supplies her mother had stashed in the hall closet. A few hours later, Alice was hanging copies of a carefully crafted dog-walking advertisement on every telephone pole, storefront, and community bulletin she could find.

Thankfully, that seemed to do the trick. Within hours of posting, the calls began pouring in. Turns out the citizens of Hawkins were absolutely drowning in under-walked dogs. Alice was quickly booked out to the end of July, and, according to her calculations, would have more than enough money to pay for her car in just under a month. Until then, however, Alice was stuck walking or biking in the disgusting summer heat.

“Right, bummer.”

“Yeah, it’s whatever. I hope you have fun digging through other peoples nasty, old, dirty laundry all summer.”

“Girl, you know I will. Anyway, I gotta go. Grammy needs second breakfast and her meds before I head over to the office. Love you, miss you, bye!”

The line went dead and Alice released a long breath. She rolled over, returning the phone to its base and grabbing her dayplanner from her bedside table. Flicking through the pages to the marked day, Alice double-checked her schedule.

Flannigans

1:15

Key under back doormat

Sudsy the miniature schnauzer, friendly

Alice smiled to herself. Sudsy was her favorite client by-far. Well, the most behaved, at least. And the appointment wasn’t for another three hours. Just enough time for a quick power nap and some lunch before having to run out again. Returning the small book to its place on her side table, Alice shut her eyes, ready to replenish her energy to get her through the rest of the day.

It felt like only seconds after Alice dozed off when she was woken by the shrill ring of the telephone. Groggily, she reached blindly for the receiver, pulling it to her ear after successfully locating it.

“Hello?” She rasped.

“Alice, thank god. Are you busy today? As in right now.”

“Oh, hi Nancy. I’m doing well, thank you so much for asking. And you?” Alice pulled herself out of bed and began to pull on her sneakers. Jeeze, 11:30 already. She had slept longer than she had meant to.

“Alice!” Nancy cut her off sharply, sounding distressed. Alice paused in the middle of tying her shoe and adjusted the phone.

“No, not busy. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m sorry. Just…listen, I need a favor. I’m supposed to be looking after Holly while my parents are away this weekend, working on their marriage or whatever. But I completely forgot that Jonathan and I were supposed to go into the city for the weekend. He has the whole thing planned out. Reservations and tickets to the ballet and and the hotel booked and I-“

“You need me to babysit.”

“Just for today! We can see if we can get a refund on the hotel.”

“No way, it’s okay. I can handle the kiddo for one night. You and Jonathan deserve to have a nice time. I’ll just bring Holly along with me for my last walk of the day, no biggie!”

“Oh my god, Alice, you’re a lifesaver.”

“It’s really not a problem, I can be there in twenty.”

“Thank you, thank you! We’ll see you soon!”

***

“I seriously can’t tell you how much this means to me.” Nancy bustled around the kitchen, making sure contact numbers were taped to the fridge and Holly’s schedule and allergy medicine were on the counter. “My parents left $100 in an envelope on the dining room table for pizza and emergencies. Whatever’s leftover is yours, as payment.”

“Oh, no, you don’t have to do that.” Alice began, but then caught the look in Nancy’s eye. She was going to insist on it. “Honestly, I’m happy to hang out with Holly, you don’t have to pay me.”

“Take it or I’m giving it to Dustin to sneak into your room when you’re not home.” Alice rolled her eyes, but truthfully, the extra cash would put a nice dent in her car fund. Nancy heaved her overnight bag onto her shoulder and Alice followed her to the living room where Holly was sitting on the rug in front of the television. She looked up as her sister kissed the top of her head and said her goodbyes. Nancy gave Alice one last heartfelt thanks and departed through the front door.

It wasn’t until Alice was truly alone with Holly that the weight of what she had agreed to set in. The little girl stared up at her, wide blue eyes boring into Alice’s soul. To be honest, Alice had never been good with little kids. It’s not that she didn’t like them or anything. No, she loved kids. They just didn’t seem to like her all that much. Luckily, Holly wasn’t quite as young as Alice remembered her to be. There was definitely a chance that this could go smoothly.

“So, what are you watching?” Holly’s eyes flicked to the cartoon on the screen and back to Alice, before reaching over and turning off the television. Deafening silence filled the house. Alice cleared her throat, her mouth suddenly feeling dry.

“Are you enjoying your summer, Holly?”

The little girl gave a noncommittal shrug and scrunched her nose, as if remembering something unpleasant.

“You gave me the itchy hat for Christmas.” Alice frowned. She spent hours knitting the bubblegum pink beanie for the youngest Wheeler sibling last winter. Come to think of it, she’d knitted a lot of hats for Christmas presents the past few years. Had they all been itchy? “Mommy makes me wear it even though I told her I didn’t like it.”

“I’m…I’m sorry?” Holly just bobbed her pig-tailed head, pursing her lips and giving Alice a cold glare that sent a genuine shiver down her spine. Okay. Maybe getting through to the seven-year-old would be a little more challenging than expected. It was time to break out the big guns.

“Do you like dogs, Holly?”

“Duh.”

“You wanna go meet one?”

“I guess.”

“Well, go put on your shoes.”

***

“Can I hold the leash?” To Alice’s surprise and delight, Holly had blossomed when they had collected Sudsy from the Finnegan’s house for his walk. The pooch had taken right to her, licking her chubby cheeks and bringing her all of his favorite toys.

“Uhh…” Assessing the situation, Alice couldn’t see why not. They were in a low-traffic neighborhood and Sudsy was a small, well-behaved dog. Holly could handle it.

“Please?”

“Well, okay. Let me show you.” Alice instructed the girl on exactly where to hold the leash, looping it around her wrist. “Promise to hold on tight?”

“Pinky promise!” Practically bubbling over with happiness, Holly led Sudsy down the street with Alice hovering just close enough to take over if the pup had a sudden burst of energy the little girl couldn’t handle. True to her word, Holly held on tight.

“Jeeze, Holly, you’re a real pro at this; he loves you!” Alice encouraged.

“Really?” The younger girl squeaked in a small voice, beaming up at Alice.

“Absolutely. You’re going to put me out of business if you keep this up!”

An ear-splitting bang cracked through the peaceful afternoon. In an instant Alice hauled Holly up into her arms and all but dove behind a parked car on the street, her bare knees stinging painfully as they hit the asphalt. Her heart beat wildly in her chest as she scanned the area for a threat, Holly clinging to her shirt. Out of the corner of her eye she caught movement; a shiny metal garbage can rolling on its side and a fat, orange cat poking its head inside to reap the spoils.

Alice let out a breath. No monsters. No danger. Stupid. She was so stupid. God, she scared Holly for nothing. She had to get it together.

“It’s okay, Holly. It was just a cat. I’m sorry I scared you.” Alice’s tried to soothe the younger girl, voice shaking. She held Holly out at arms length, checking her for any signs of trauma. “Are you alright?”

Holly’s eyes widened, filling with tears, and she whipped her head around. “Sudsy!”

Shit. Alice stood up, taking Holly’s hand in her own and started down the street as quickly as Holly’s much shorter legs allowed them. Shit, shit, shit.

The miniature schnauzer was no where in sight. Oh god, she was dead. Absolutely and totally fucked. Holly was traumatized and she potentially just ruined her reputation as a dog-walker, all because she was startled by a stupid cat. As they called out for the dog, Alice kept her head on a swivel and—there. She spotted the back end of the black and white dog rounding the corner up the road.

Breaking out into a run, Holly screamed the dog’s name as Alice tried to regulate her breath. God, was she out of shape. This wasn’t going to work, they were too slow. Alice crouched down, and motioned for Holly to hop onto her back. The little girl linked her arms around Alice’s neck. She hoisted her up, thankful that Holly was still so small, and began sprinting in the direction of Sudsy.

Alice was positive that adrenaline was the only thing carrying her as she barreled toward the end of the road, Holly bouncing uncomfortably on her back. Just as they made it to the end of the street and around the corner, Alice skidded to halt, a step short of tripping over the mass of panting fur in her path.

By some sort of miracle, Sudsy stood in the middle of the sidewalk, happily wagging his tail, straining against the leash currently in the hands of the miracle in question. He stood in his full glory; backlit by the afternoon sun in his freshly pressed uniform, ever-present mailbag slung over his shoulder, looking slightly taken aback by the sudden presence of the pair of frantic girls in front of him. Just like that, for the first time since she arrived in Hawkins that summer, Alice was actually glad to see Steve Harrington.

“Oh, thank God.” A massive wave of relief flooded Alice as she dropped to a crouch in front of Sudsy, apologizing profusely to the pup and scratching his furry body. Holly wriggled herself out of Alice’s grasp, smoothly sliding down her back and coming around to throw her arms around the dog.

“Steve, you saved Sudsy!” Holly plopped down on the sidewalk and Sudsy curled up in her lap, dozing contently as she stroked his head.

“Oh, I don’t know about that.” He ran a hand through his hair as he passed the leash off to Alice. “The little guy ran right up to me.”

“You’ll never believe what happened, Steve.” Holly began, impressively mimicking her mother’s tone perfectly. “We were walking Sudsy and Alice said I was such a good dog walker that I could hold the leash, but then there was a big BANG and Alice got so scared she picked me up and fell on the street and we hid behind a car and do you want to know what it was?”

“What was it?” Steve prompted, eyes wide as Holly recounted the dramatic story at record speed, barely giving herself room to breathe.

“It was a cat, Steve! A cat knocked over a garbage can and Alice was so scared of it! I wasn’t scared though because I knew it was just a cat. But then I remembered I dropped Sudsy’s leash because Alice made me! So then I was scared and Alice picked me up again and we ran and ran and ran and then we found you with Sudsy!” The girl finished breathlessly and seamlessly shifted her focus back to the little dog.

“That sounds like quite the adventure.“ Steve replied after pausing to be sure Holly was done with her story. Confident that she was thoroughly distracted with assuring Sudsy that he was a good dog, Steve turned to Alice and gave her a once over, concerned eyes lingering on her legs. Furrowing her brow, Alice glanced down at herself. Oh. Ouch. “Hey, you okay? Your knees…”

“Oh yeah, I’m fine. Just a little road burn.” Alice heaved a sigh, feeling self-conscious under the scrutiny of his gaze. “It’s seriously nothing; I overreacted, it was stupid.”

Steve nudged her with his shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not now.” Alice shook her head, shooting a meaningful glance in Holly’s direction. Not much she felt comfortable discussing in front of a child. Steve looked from Alice, clearly trying to hold it together, to Holly with the snoozing dog in her lap, and bobbed his head understandingly.

“Listen, this is my last street. Holly and…Sudsy?…look wiped out. Why don’t you ladies hang tight and I can take you home.”

“In the mail truck?” Holly asked excitedly, eyes shining.

“Is that legal?” Alice whispered to Steve.

“Sure it is!” He exclaimed confidently and simultaneously shrugged in her direction. Alice bit back a grin.

“And then you’ll come have pizza with us, right Steve?” Gently nudging the dog out of her lap, Holly scrambled up and took Alice’s hand. She looked up at Steve expectantly.

“Oh, uh…” Steve shot Alice a wary glance. “I don’t—“

“It’s the least we can do. Y’know, since you saved Sudsy and all.” Not exactly sure what came over her, Alice found herself practically insisting on Steve joining them for dinner. “Saved my ass, too. I don’t think I’d have many clients left if I lost a dog.”

“Well…only if you’re sure.” Steve leveled her with a serious look. “If you want me there...”

Alice gave him a reassuring nod, though not feeling one hundred percent sure herself. “We do. We want you to come.”

***

In the end, Alice had decided that it might be a little awkward to have company over at the Wheeler’s. Especially considering the company in question happened to be their daughter’s ex-boyfriend. So instead, Alice packed up little Holly, left a note on the kitchen counter, and bundled her back to the Henderson abode for the night.

True to his word, Steve arrived promptly at dinnertime, a small bouquet of wildflowers and plastic container of grocery-store brownies in hand. Alice felt herself blush as he held the bunch of Black-eyed Susans out to her, taking just a moment too long before accepting them with a mumbled thanks. After failing to find a vase, she stuck the bouquet in a small, glass lemonade pitcher and set it on the table. They were pretty, though clearly handpicked. Something about the thought of Steve happening upon and taking the time to gather the cheery, yellow blooms for her filled her stomach with a funny kind of warmth that only seemed to spread as the night went on.

As they waited for pizza delivery, Holly somehow managed to convince both Steve and Alice to assist her in turning the Hendersons’ living room into, in her own words, “the most gigantic pillow fort ever.” It was hard to argue with that, so while Alice pilfered every spare blanket and pillow from the linen closet, Steve and Holly worked on stacking the couch cushions into an acceptable base for the fort.

Once the fort was completed to her standards, Holly absolute refused to come out. So Steve and Alice found themselves eating their pizza uncomfortably hunched under a canopy of floral sheets, listening as the little girl explained the plot of the Care Bears movie she had insisted on bringing to Alice’s house because “Steve would love it!”

True to the nature of young children, Holly barely made it past the opening credits of the movie before falling fast asleep in a nest of blankets, exhausted from the day’s excitement. Alice tried to suppress a smug smile as the little girl clutched an afghan Alice had knitted a few years ago to her chest. Not so itchy now, huh?

Instead of switching off the television or changing the movie, Alice and Steve chose to leave the movie as it was, though neither were exactly paying much attention to the misadventures of the colorful cartoon bears on the screen. In stark contrast to how she felt a few weeks ago, Alice found herself truly enjoying Steve’s company. She wasn’t ready to let the night end just yet, and thankfully it seemed like the feeling was mutual.

In low voices, they just…talked. Not about anything particularly important; Alice asked how Steve’s parents were and they fell into a natural rhythm from there. They chatted about what movies they’d seen recently, music they’ve been listening to. Alice told him all about Jillian, and how the girls had hated each other until they both found themselves locked out of their dorm room well after curfew and had to work together to break into the second-floor window without being caught. After that they were fast friends. In return, Steve shared his budding relationship with Gladys, the 73-year-old window clerk at the post office who only spoke to him in grunts and glares. Steve was absolutely convinced they’d be besties by the end of the Summer.

Eventually there was a lull in the conversation, just after Alice had finished sharing her car-related woes with Steve sympathizing by appropriately shaking his head and groaning at all the right times. It was a comfortable silence, one that reminded Alice of the countless hours she and Steve had spent together over the years.

It was one of the things she had loved most about Steve; he made her mind quiet. They could spend an entire afternoon together doing their own thing, not saying a single word to each other, and somehow it didn’t feel weird or like they needed to fill the silence with anything. Alice couldn’t say that about many other people.

“So…you wanna tell me about what happened earlier?”

Alice should have known this was coming. Steve was never one to let things drop.

“Not really.”

“You sure?”

“I mean, it’s like I said. I freaked out over nothing, almost lost a dog and probably traumatized Holly in the process.” She let out a long breath, shaking her head. “Jesus Christ, and I want to be a teacher? Who am I kidding, I can’t even take care of a damn dog, let alone an entire classroom of kids.”

“Are you serious right now? Alice, your first instinct in the face of potential danger was to protect a child.” Hesitantly, he reached across the mountain of pillows and blankets to lay a hand on Alice’s shoulder. “I’d trust you over anyone to look after my kids. And Nancy obviously feels the same, she wouldn’t just leave Holly with you if she didn’t think you were the most capable choice.”

“I guess.” Alice chewed her lip, not entirely convinced.

“Does this kind of stuff happen a lot?”

“Not so much anymore. Only when I’m caught off guard like that. Sudden loud noises, y’know?” Steve nodded, “It was worse back in the fall. It’d happen out of no where. That on top of the nightmares…there were times I barely slept at all. It was awful.”

“I’m sorry, Alice. I…I wish I knew how bad it was for you.”

Alice shrugged helplessly and moved out of his reach, immediately missing the warmth of his hand as it slid down her arm and onto a pillow. This was a mistake. She wasn’t ready to be with Steve like this, vulnerable and alone. Group outings? Fine, she had proven that she could handle that. But now, with her only buffer being a snoring seven-year-old, Alice was ready to burst with everything she’d been holding back for the better part of a year.

“I mean, I tried, Steve. You know damn well I did. And you weren’t there.” Holly stirred at the harsh tone of Alice’s voice. She and Steve stilled as the little girl let out an annoyed huff, rolled over, and fell back into a deep sleep. With a subtle nod from Steve, they rose together, carefully extracting themselves from the fort to take their conversation away from the slumbering child. Alice made sure Holly was securely tucked in, switched off the television, and led the way down the hall to the kitchen.

Steve leaned against the counter, arms crossed, and waited as Alice took a seat at the table. “Listen, I know you were going through something last year. I don’t…I don’t know everything, not yet. I don’t want to be unfair about that, because I understand, truly. We all have trauma we’re working through, and that looks different for everyone.”

She took a deep breath, steadying herself. “But it was bad, Steve. I wasn’t…coping well when I left home. And you know what? The worst part about it all wasn’t the insomnia or the night terrors or constant anxiety. It was the fact that I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. Not the truth, anyway. They’d probably throw me in Pennhurst if I tried to tell the campus counsellor that I was in a constant state of paranoia because I was tortured by Russians and had to fight a meat-monster made of melted people over the summer.”

“You went to the counsellor anyway, right?” Steve interrupted, and when Alice nodded, asked: “Good, what did you tell them?”

“Exactly what we were told to say; trauma from getting caught in the mall fire. But that’s not the point!” She threw up her hands, exasperated. Who cares what the hell she had to say to the underpaid and overworked therapist? Alice was positive she could’ve made up any semi-believable story and the woman would’ve done what she could just to get Alice out of her hair. In the end it got her a prescription for Xanax and a sleeping aid, but there was only so much the pills could do to help the root of the problem.

“Nobody there understood and everyone who did was a hundred miles away here in Hawkins, and the only person I thought I could actually rely on disappeared. I was completely alone and it fucking sucked, Steve.”

Steve’s gaze was fixed on a spot behind Alice’s head, not quite being able to look her in the eye. Good. The less empathetic part of Alice was glad that he looked so ashamed of himself. What he had done hurt and she was glad he knew it.

“I’m sorry.” He almost whispered, voice low.

“I don’t want you to be sorry. I wanted you to be my friend. I wanted you to be here.”

“Is that…still something you want? I know it’s not the same and it won’t make up for anything, but I swear to you, I’m here now.” The desperation in his voice was palpable.

“No. Maybe…I don’t know, Steve.” Alice stood abruptly from the table and began the process of putting the leftover pizza into the fridge; wrapping the few slices in tinfoil and breaking down the box for recycling. She couldn’t sit still right now and she certainly couldn’t look at Steve.

Caught in a state of wanting to push him out the door and the overwhelming urge to pull Steve into her arms and never let him go again, Alice busied herself with the dishes to occupy her hands. Maybe a bit too aggressively, she scrubbed the few plates in the sink before reaching for a cup on the counter. The smooth, wet glass slipped from her grip and shattered as it hit the bottom of the sink. That was the last straw, Alice was about to lose it.

“I hate this,” She exclaimed, throwing the soapy sponge into the sink and yanking a hand towel from its hook, leaving the broken glass to clean up later. “I feel like I’m losing my mind. Do you remember how easy this used to be? We were easy. Us. Together. It’s just…so fucked up right now.

“Hey, hey” Gently taking her wrist in his hand, Steve took the towel Alice was anxiously twisting the life out of and tossed it on the counter. His free hand rose to cup her cheek, softly turning her head up to face him. “Look at me. I know I messed up, Alice. Please…please let me keep trying to make it right.”

“What if you go again?” Her chin wobbled, betraying just how frightened she was of that very thing. If there was anything she was sure of, it was that there was no way she could handle letting Steve in only to have him leave again. Alice didn’t think she’d survive that a second time.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“How am I supposed to believe that?” She sounded absolutely pathetic. Clearing her throat, Alice continued, “I want to…but after last year and that bullshit over Christmas…I just...I don’t know.. I’m not ready.”

“That’s okay. I can wait, as long as it takes for me to prove it to you.” It took everything in her not to take the half-step into his embrace. To let him hold her against his chest, to believe they could pick up where they had left off before everything went to shit. Instead, Alice held herself perfectly still and let Steve rub his thumb in soothing circles on her wrist. The hand cupping her cheek moved to tuck a curl behind her ear, before sliding down to rest at the base of her neck. “But if any part of you wants me gone, just say the word and I’ll leave you alone. You won’t have to hear from me again.”

Steve’s last words hung in the air as they stood in silence. Despite everything, that was the furthest thing from what Alice wanted. When presented as an actual option, the thought of never seeing Steve again left her cold, sinking feeling in her stomach. A question was nagging at the back of her head, fighting to claw itself out. Fuck it, she’d already gone this far, might as well dig herself the rest of the way to hell.

“Did you mean what you said?” She shook her head, and clarified. “What you wrote…did you really love me?”

“You…you read my letters?” A spark of hope lit Steve’s face. Alice quickly shook her head.

“No. Well, just the one…last week after the drive-in.” A flash of disappointment made Alice grimace. She was beginning to realize that she still hated to see Steve upset, even after everything. “Sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry.” His expression remained unreadable, any signs of dismay were gone. “I never expected you to read any of them. Honestly, one is way more than I deserve.”

“Is it true, though?”

“Of course it is. Alice, I don’t think I’ve stopped loving you since the demodogs. Not for a single minute.”

Alice’s heart felt like it was going to burst from her chest. Nothing could have prepared her for the flood of emotion those words brought. Hearing him say it and reading it on paper were two completely different things, as it turned out. She needed to get away from him before she did something really stupid.

Before she could move, however, the kitchen door swung open and Dustin barreled into the room, arms overflowing with what looked like…baby dolls? Steve sprang away from Alice as if electrocuted, mouth open as if he were waiting for his brain to supply some kind of excuse as to why he was there. Dustin merely raised an eyebrow as he dumped his bounty onto the kitchen table.

“…Did I interrupt something?”

“No, no…I was just helping Alice with uh…babysitting Holly?” Steve’s eyes flicked over to Alice, looking for confirmation. She gave a small, confused shrug. That was literally what they were just doing. “I was just leaving, though, so…”

“Riiight.” Dustin skeptically watched as Steve struggled awkwardly into his sneakers, before turning his attention to his sister. Alice gestured to the table, as if to ask ‘what the fuck?’

“Yard sale!” He declared with a triumphant grin, as if that explained everything. “Got ‘em all for 3 bucks!”

“Good for you, buddy.” Steve clapped the younger boy on the shoulder after returning victorious from the battle with his Nikes. “Anyway, I’m heading out. Night Dustin, Alice.”

“I’ll walk you out.” Steve’s eyebrows rose in surprise, but didn’t say a word as he held the screen door open for Alice. They fell into step, gravel crunching under their shoes as they made their way down the driveway to Steve’s car, out of earshot of her prying brother. Before she could talk herself out of it, Alice turned to Steve.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“We can try.”

“Try…what?”

“Being friends again.”

“Y- you’re sure? I meant what I said, Alice. I’ll wait for you. You don’t have to push yourself into anything for my sake; I’ve put you through enough.”

“The only thing I’m sure of right now is that I’m miserable trying to stay away from you. I don’t want to do it anymore.”

“Well then, okay.” Though he tried to stop it, a stupid smile spread across his face. Alice couldn’t help but feel the corners of her own mouth tug upwards as Steve fiddled with his keys, slowly walking backwards the rest of the way to his car. “Cool, cool. So I’ll talk to you…tomorrow?”

Now fighting off a full grin, Alice shrugged playfully. “Maybe. Don’t push it, Harrington.”

“Goodnight, Alice.”

“Goodnight, Steve.”

After waiting for Steve to safely back out of the drive way onto the the road, Alice turned to head inside. There, in the kitchen window, was Dustin, shamelessly cupping his hands to the glass to get a better view in the dark. Rolling her eyes, Alice trekked back up the highway, ready to give her brother the full-rundown she knew he was dying for.

#steve harrington #stranger things #Steve harrington x oc #Steve Harrington/oc #Steve harrington x ofc #Steve harrington/ofc #Steve harrington x original female character #Steve harrington/original female character #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things 4 #it's a long one y'all

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

Text

Bouquet

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None

Genre: FLUFF, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having come clean about being single for a very long time now and considering herself completely out of the dating scene, Y/N’s confession is taken and responded to with a ton of kindness, especially from a special someone...

Requested by Anon. Hi hun! Thank you so much for your lovely request, it was such a joy to write! I’m so sorry for the long wait you had to go through but the fic is finally here and I hope you enjoy reading it! Love, Vy ❤

I roll out of bed with little to no desire to start my day. We haven’t got a scheduled stream for today and the clouds glooming in the sky seem to be promising rain so really what do I have to get up for except that it’s a rule society installed?

Just kidding, I’m basically stalling and that’s all.

So what happened was the streamer gang and I were playing Among Us last night and our conversation during the pause between rounds somehow swerved into relationship territory. I stayed quiet the majority of if not all the time because I had no valid input to offer.

If you know me you know I’m not one of the performers on the dating scene. I have never really confirmed it with my fans - well, until last night, that is - but I bet they have picked up on that fact considering I’ve been on YouTube for around a decade and have never had a partner. That being said, I’d have to also mention that I have in fact dated but someone but it was before my YouTube era started. Me choosing this career path, which back then was just a hobby, had nothing to do with the relationship ending but it still motivated me to not to actively look for a relationship while I’m still focused on my career. It’s too much work, too much stress and requires a lot of balance I most certainly either don’t have or I don’t have the energy to put in balancing my romantic and professional lives. Luckily, no one’s ever pressured me into finding a significant other, not yet at least, so no societal pressure for me!

But I gotta admit I felt real awkward admitting all this last night.

“Hey Y/N what do you think? You’ve been awfully quiet?“ Rae asks, causing me to jolt in my seat from where I’ve been reading my chat for the past five minutes, my mic muted.

I quickly unmute to reply, blushing ever so slightly, “Um, sorry I was reading my chat. What do I think about what?”

“The gesture of giving flowers to your significant other, is it romantic or a waste of money and plant murder?“ Rae explains, still managing to catch me off-guard with her question.

I ponder what my response should be for a little bit before deciding to level it to a neutral level where I almost sound indifferent, “It is in fact plant murder basically and artificial flowers would definitely be a better gift - plus they’ll last longer.”

“Mhmm yeah that’s true.“ Poki agrees with me, “But there’s still the question of whether it’s a romantic gesture or not. I personally don’t think it’s overrated or cheesy, I actually quite like it. What about you, Y/N?“

And now she’s got me in a real trap that I can’t wiggle out of without speaking my truth. I don’t know where this sudden anxiety around the subject came from but it now resides within me rent free and makes me feel self-conscious and embarrassed of the confession I’m inevitably make.

“Um, I wouldn’t know for certain, I’ve never received flowers myself...“ I say sheepishly, cringing at the sound of my own voice, “It’s not like I’ve dated plenty of people and the one guy I did date wasn’t really romantic or anything, I mean - we were teenagers, after all. But when I think about it in theory I think I’d like the gesture: it’s thoughtful, plus you get a temporary but beautiful piece of décor out of it.“

I’m gonna hope I didn’t sound too pitiful or desperate. Of course I’m not gonna check afterward on the stream cause I’d rather live in the illusion of having sounded humorous rather than be given the confirmation that I didn’t.

“Wait, wait, wait, did you date your last boyfriend like a decade ago?“ Corpse is now the one talking and that makes me feel even more anxious. This is not the impression one would want to give to their crush, is it? Oh well, no turning back now.

“Correct.“ I reply with a laugh that I hope didn’t sound as nervous as it was.

“And you’ve never, like in your whole life, received flowers from someone?“ He sounds astonished which sort of makes me want to shrink up in my shell like a turtle. Too bad I don’t have a shell though. I’m genuinely thinking of the option to rip the router out of the outlet right now to save me the troubles but I’m not that immature. I’m surprised I’m even reacting this way - this topic doesn’t usually bother me at all but now for some reason I’m red as a tomato and shrinking in my chair.

I know what the obvious answer is but I’d rather die than admit to it.

“Yeah, yeah, I know it sounds bad but I really don’t care.“ I make an attempt at changing the subject, swerving it back to the main topic rather than my lack of a love life, “I do, in fact, find the gesture sweet - it adds vibrancy to the relationship just like the flowers would add vibrancy and color to the space they’re put in.“

“Oh my gosh, that’s such a cool analogy!“ Rae gushes, “You’re totally right, it might be an old trick, but it’s aged like fine wine.“

Phew, God bless you Rae.

“Exactly, exactly.“ Corpse agrees as well but I don’t think he’s fully heard what Rae said since he sounds to have fallen in deep thought.

At least I got away with it with only making a SLIGHT nervous wreck of myself.

Yikes, was that horrible, though I don’t people will remember it for long. Sure, my fans have sent me thousands of lovely messages and pictures of bouquets and will maybe continue sending them for another day or two - which I highly appreciate, don’t get me wrong. I’m severely touched by this gesture of theirs and it almost makes me glad I finally ‘came clean’ about my romance-less life - however, it’ll fade overtime. I mean, who the heck cares if I’m single or not?

As I pour the milk over my cheerios which I’ve been snacking on dry for the past half hour as I rifled through the many notifications clogging up my lock screen, I hear the doorbell ring. I’m understandably puzzled by this, seeing as how I never get visitors so that doorbell rings only when I’ve ordered something, be it takeout or a random item off Amazon. However, I can’t remember ordering anything, at least not anything that should be arriving at the moment or even anytime soon - that glow-in-the dark curtain isn’t supposed to arrive until next week. I make my way to the door, unbothered by the fact I’m still in my pajamas, and take a look through the peephole.

It’s a delivery guy...and he happens to be holding a huge-ass bouquet.

“What the...“ I mutter to myself as I unlock and swing open the door in the blink of an eye, “Hi?“

“Hi there, are you Y/N L/N?“ The delivery guy, who I’ve seen many times before and who I’m on pretty friendly terms with, asks me jokingly, sending a wink my way.

“I sure am.“ I reply, my gaze fixated on the breathtaking flowers he’s holding, “But those can’t be for me, that’s for sure.“

He fishes looks at his clipboard one more time, nodding before he looks back at me, “I double and triple checked, Y/N, they’re for you. Here, have a look if you don’t believe me.” He turns the clipboard for me to see and he is actually telling the truth. I mean, I doubt he’d have any reason to lie to me but mix-ups happen all the time.

“Um, ok thanks. Sorry for the halt, it’s just...I’d hate to be the recipient of the flowers meant for another girl.” I apologize as I take the bouquet for him, still in awe of the fact I’m the one it was made and meant for and sent to.

I say a quick ‘bye’ to the delivery guy before practically running inside to inspect this bouquet for a card from the sender. I have my guesses: it has to be someone who was present during the stream last night and someone who knows my address. Hopefully it’s someone from my friend group and not a fan who watched the stream and just happens to know my address. I’d still appreciate the gesture, but I’d also install security cameras if that was the case.

Something about the color scheme of the flowers - pink and black - gives me Rae vibes since she constantly teases me about my aesthetics contradicting each other. But then again, Poki does it too so it could be her as well....

Oh...OH GOD IT’S NEITHER OF THEM

~ ~ ~

I’ve been sitting here, keeping myself a safe distance from my phone so I’m not the first one to send her a text. So I don’t ask if she got what I sent her. So I don’t ask what she thought of it, how the bouquet looks in her living room, how it smells, how it makes her feel. I have so many questions so that phone is best off at a major distance from me. I’m the one who’s better off with such a huge distance between me and the device, to be perfectly honest.

Was it a bad idea? Should I have slept on it - or just thought about it longer cause sleep and I don’t get along? Should I have at least waited a day or two? Should I-

My phone vibrates with a notification and I practically fly to it from across the room, grabbing it and unlocking it asap. My heart sinks and takes off like a rocket simultaneously when I see I’ve been tagged in Y/N’s Instagram story. I nervously tap the notification that sends me to the picture of the bouquet I sent her with some text written over it.

“Thank you, Romeo ;)“

Somehow that one sentence answers all those aforementioned questions.

Is this what people refer to as butterflies in one’s stomach? Cause it feels significantly more like a crush...oh wait.

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inkandpen22 · 3 years

Text

Permanent Chaos (4/?)

Pairing: MGK x Female!Reader

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: mild swearing

Part Summary: While Y/N is out shopping with Cara, news breaks that ties her with MGK.

Masterlist

Two days later...

Cara and I go out shopping and have lunch for a girl’s day. I have yet to talk about the other night with Sam. Cara hasn’t mentioned it and I have no plans to either. Cameras have followed us up and down Rodeo Drive. By this point, Cara and I are both used to it. Carrying my bags however, I doubt I look graceful for these videos their taking. Oh well, they have fifteen thousand more of me.

“CARA! EXCITED TO WALK IN THE CHANEL FASHION SHOW?”

Cara ignores the paparazzi and points out a dress in the window at Dolce and Gabbana. I request to go inside to try it on. I’m not sure where I’d wear it to, but that doesn’t really matter.

“Welcome ladies!” A woman in a black dress approaches. “Can I help you find anything in particular?”

I point over to the dress in the window, “could I see that in a size six please?”

She leaves us to go find the dress for me and we roam around a small section while she does. My phone rings and I see Nicole’s name pop up. My heart immediately begins to race. She doesn’t call me unless absolutely necessary, usually we text. I step away toward the corner to be discreet.

I answer the call hesitantly. “Nicole? What’s up?”

“I got a call from Stephanie,” she sounds agitated on the other end.

Stephanie is my publicist, she handles everything that Nicole can’t basically. They bicker a lot since they’re both so headstrong and constantly need control. It’s the classic good cop/bad cop scenario, yet I don’t know who’s who. These two cover every aspect of my career, God bless them.

“Oh no, sounds bad,” I grumble anxiously.

“Depends how you look at it,” she lightens her tone.

“What is it?” I press.

“Well…” she hesitates.

“Nicole!” I drag out her name.

“It’s all over social media, magazines and it will be on TMZ tonight,” she stammers. “I’m surprised you haven’t already heard if I’m being honest-”

“Nicole! What?” I rush her.

“An article about you and Colson Baker just dropped on some gossip sight,” she explains. “It says that you and Colson Baker are dating. Stephanie and I figured no one would believe it but it’s everywhere! They have videos and photos of you two leaving The Ivy plus talking by Sam’s car. If I didn’t know you, I would be convinced.”

My head hangs low as I rub my forehead, letting out a deep sigh. “Oh dear God.”

“We can handle it, don’t worry!” Nicole assures. “This story will be gone soon!”

“I need to go, talk to you later!” I hang up on Nicole right when the woman shows me the dress.

“I’ll take it” I attempt to hurry up the process.

Cara comes up next to me “don’t you think you should try it on first?”

“I’ll explain later but we need to go” I whisper to her and just like that, she’s hurry the woman along at the register.

I have the dress and exit the store in a rush. I must act cool, the paparazzi will take notice of my mood change.

“HOW’S COLSON, Y/N?”

“SEEING HIM TONIGHT?”

“HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DATING?”

“HOW ARE GONNA HANDEL HIS FANS?”

“HAS HE MET THE FAMILY YET?”

“What’s going on?” Cara asks concerned.

“I’ll explain once we’re somewhere private,” I whisper so the cameras don’t pick up on it.

We speed walk to the car and I offer to drive since I made us cut the day short. Once we’re on the highway towards home Cara asks what the heck is going on.

“Why did they keep asking about Colson?”

I turn on the radio and Elvis Duran, along with his team, are discussing no other than me and Colson.

Danielle summarizes the article for the listeners. “The article says they’ve been dating for the past few months. They’re very happy but the relationship is still new. The pair has not yet met each other’s families but Colson is going on tour soon so maybe Y/N will join him and eventually meet the family. Throughout, there are tons of photos of the cute young couple leaving The Ivy Wednesday night. There’s even a link to a video showing them, what appears to be, having a deep conversation by Sam Merka’s car. If you watch the video, the two are clearly looking at each other very lovingly. I mean, he’s looking at her the way I look at a fresh pizza!”

The rest of the cast laughs and I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Actually, scratch that, I can believe it. I’m just pissed.

“If MGK and Y/N are officially an item, why did she leave with Sam Merka?” Elvis questions.

“I’m glad you asked! According to sources, they’ve been very close friends since the start of TSL. In fact, the duo have taken many vacations together along with their co-star Penelope Glass.”

Cara turns down the volume and looks to me with a steady expression. “Is it true?”

I narrow my gaze at her in bewilderment. “What? No! There’s no way in hell!”

“Okay, just checking,” she lets out a sigh of relief.

“Never ever!” I add and change the station.

Colson Baker is everything I despise in a person. I’ve never hated someone so fast as I’ve hated him. Us together as a couple is impossible. It’s completely irrational.

_________________________________________________________

Later in the afternoon, Stephanie sets up a meeting for us to meet with Colson and his publicist. I had to drag myself to her office. My Fridays aren’t well spent in an office building with enemies. In fact, my whole day could be tarnished by this incident. The meeting room we’re all ushered into is freezing and I’m still in my sundress from earlier. Cara and I were never able to get lunch so I’m starving on top of being cold. The photos of us play in a slideshow on the meeting room’s tv. An endless cycle of false advertisement is how I see the photos. The media is selling us as something completely far from the truth. On top of everything, I’m in a meeting with the one guy in all of Los Angeles I can’t stand. Death would be less painful than the current situation. I tune out the debate between Stephanie and Colson’s publicist. He told me his name but my brain is so numb from the temperature in here I can’t recall it.

“Y/N!” Stephanie calls my name and I search for her around the room until I find her in the doorway with Colson’s publicist.

“We’re going to go make a few phone calls. You two will stay here while we handle the press.” I nod “sounds good.”

I send her a weak smile to charm her out of an apology for zoning out. She huffs and escorts Colson’s guy to her office so they can talk on speaker privately. I stand up from my office chair and stroll over to the windows overlooking the courtyard. I watch the cars zoom by on the street and businessmen and women shuffle in and out of the Starbucks below.

“If it means anything, I’m sorry,” Colson says quietly behind me.

I nearly miss it, he speaks so quietly. I lean against the wall, crossing my arms as I face him.

“You’re sorry?” I shrug, not really seeing his blame. “Why? It’s not your doing.”

I return my gaze to the chaos below us. I watch as people with office jobs travel about. I wonder if they’ve heard of me? I wonder if they like me or think I’m a stuck up actress? I shouldn’t care what people think, but it’s easier said than done. When millions watch TSL every week, it’s hard to ignore the wondering.

“If I hadn’t walked you to the car none of this would be happening,” Colson reasons guiltily.

I shake my head, finding humor in the situation now. The paparazzi can make nothing into a months long romance. A brief conversation outside a restaurant and suddenly we’re meeting each other’s families.

“We were only walking to a car. How could either of us have predicted the amount of attention that would come of us walking?” I justify, not to ease his mind, but my own.

My flicker over to the tv, I examine the slideshow of us. Examining the photos I realize it wasn’t all in my head, the way in which Colson was gazing at me is a tad bit gawk-like. Images of us walking to the car while I’m answering the paparazzi’s questions depict Colson glancing at me with what seems to be such admiration. A picture of when Cara calls for Colson comes up and I’m stunned by how we look. Even I appear to be in awe of him in return. It’s evident Cara is speaking yet neither of us react. We were so caught up within on another.

“I have one question!” I blurt out suddenly with my arms crossed I walk back over to the table. Just one and then I wish to put all of today’s events to rest.” Colson perks up and hums for me to continue. I point over to the photos on the screen “why did you look at me the way you did?”

Turning his head, he reviews the photos blankly and I wait anxiously for some sort of reason. “I’m not looking at you in any particular way,” he disregards my accusations.

I chuckle, amused by his horrible way of lying. “Lies!”

He’s thrown off by my reaction and I storm over to the TV screen to point it out to him.

“It’s clear as day to the press, the public and now me included. You’re clearly lost in some kind of thought! You were there, so was I and our friends! Say all the lies you want but you’ll never convince anyone.”

His jaw clenches and he avoids my gaze. He leans back in his chair, staring out the windows. “Colson,” I sigh, slowly approaching the table. “Maybe the truth could help the lies disappear! If we’re honest then maybe the press will leave us alone!”

He shakes his head low, letting out a brief laugh. “I highly doubt that.”

I have a thousand questions but I’m aware none will go answered. He’s a lost cause. I’m in this alone I guess. Turning my back to him I return to my position by the window. Observing the worker bees swarming around the spaces below. The sound of Colson’s chair rolling back comes from behind me but I don’t even shift. Out of the corner of my eye, I see his figure in the reflection of the window beside me. My attention remains outside. He won’t give me the time of day so why should I treat him any better?

“You wanna know why I looked at you the way I did?” His presence hovers of me and he feels like a wall surrounding me.

“Please,” I mutter a subtle beg.

“I... I had this imagine of you in my head, pre-judgements. You’re supposed to be America’s Sweetheart, Little Miss Perfect! You told me you had been working for this for years, had drive and trails.” He confesses. “You’re not what I expected... It caught me by surprise is all.”

My eyebrows furrow close, “So you thought I was just some pretty face, goody-two-shoes, ditz? If it’s because my image, my past, you said so yourself it doesn’t matter!”

“No, no, that’s not it!” he runs his hand through his hair nervously.

Narrowing my eyes, I press further. “Why then?”

The door swings open and I straighten up before forcing a warm smile to my face. I step back from Colson before the person ever appears in the doorframe. One of Stephanie employees informs us that we’re free to go. Steph doesn’t want to keep me here all day and since I’m allowed to go Colson’s publicist is releasing him. I clasp my hand together, walking over to fetch my purse.

“Thank you so much!” I gush. “Have a good day and please tell Stephanie “thank you!””

The young intern eats up my pleasant expressions. “You too Miss Voss! Will do!”

The young woman shuts the door behind her and I return to the state I was in. Expressionless, I gather my belongings and Colson does the same. Checking my phone for any missed emails or calls I can tell he’s staring me down.

“Does it ever get tiring?” His tone is light, but I can hear the ounce of mockery beneath the surface.

My attention is locked on my phone as text after text pops up from Penelope. She’s more likely than not has seen all the articles and Twitter posts. I should call her and explain.

“Y/N!” Colson shout pulls my from my thoughts.

“Huh? Does it ever get tiring?” I restate his question back to him. “What exactly are we talking about?”

I slide my purse over my shoulder while stepping over to the door, leaving Colson behind. That is until he follows me.

“Your whole act.” He forces a fake smile and tosses imaginary hair over his shoulder. “The “happy go-lucky goody goody All-American girl?””

I scoff, eyeing him up and down. “You’re ridiculous. It’s not an act.”

I swing open the meeting room door, eager to leave here. My heels clink against the white shiny tiles on my walk to the elevators. After hitting the down button, I call up Blake now that I have some time to kill. She’s my oldest friend, I’m sure she sees right through all of the tabloids and is only checking in.

“Calling your boyfriend?” Colson mutters over my shoulder and I quickly move away.

“Don’t have one,” I answer plainly, waiting for Penelope to pick up.

He smirks and props himself up against the wall beside the elevator doors. I side eye him, all he does is smile all the time and he calls me out for acting so happy all the time.

“Can’t you find anyone else to annoy?”

He grins proudly, “sure I could. None would as entertaining as you though.”

“Geez,” I mumble under my breath.

I pace outside the elevators as I wait for one to arrive and for Penelope to answer. Classic of her to text me non-stop but not to answer when I call her back. The elevator doors open and I step inside, ready to get out of here. I hit the ground floor and Colson strolls in lazily not rushed at all. He checks the button and doesn’t add any. The doors shut then silence sits flat in the small space with us. My phone buzzes continuously, I check the name at the top of the screen.

“Frickin’ frackin’!” I clench my teeth together in a growl.

Colson’s eyes widen at my sudden explosion. Closing my eyes, I exhale to calm myself then bring the phone up to my ear. Smiling helps to fake enjoyment when talking to someone on the phone. Sometimes I can fool myself into thinking I’m not miserable during discussions.

“Finn!” I greet. “What’s new?”

My southern accent surfaces. I flip the switch whenever I speak to my family or friends back in South Carolina. I can’t have them thinking I’m not the same Y/N from Charleston. Colson eyes me with his eyebrows raised, surprised by my sudden transition. He makes fun of me in a whisper for my fake enthusiastic voice. I wack him on the arm and it only encourages him more.

“Hi ya Y/N, uh so ya prolly already know butcha face is everywhere along with this MGK fella...” Finn’s voice falters at the end.

I sigh and press my forehead to the wall. Finn asks me if any of what he has read is true and I instantly deny.

My tone goes timid, “who all knows?”

“Just us, Odelle, Greyson and Myself,” he assures.

A sense of relief rushes over me. I turn back around and Colson sends me a sympathetic look, it shocks me. Going from mockery to sympathy from him has my entire mood shifting.

“What ‘bout Momma or Daddy?” I ask, keeping eye contact with Colson.

“Nah, at least I don’t think they do,” Finn guesses. “I’m not entirely sure. Greyson is sayin’ they don’t. He’s the only one that’s home at the moment.”

“Heavens to Betsy,” I exhale deeply, looking up to the heavens. “Let’s hope to the high heavens they don’t. Thank you Finn.”

I go to hang up but he says one last thing. Bringing my phone back up to my ear I reply. “Sorry, missed that.”

My brother becomes stern on the other side, “do you and this guy spend tons of time together?”

I shift uncomfortably, preparing myself for the older brother advice I already see coming. “From time to time but I promise, we’re just friends.”

There’s a pause on his end, an unbearable pause. “I trust you Y/N,” Finn finally speaks. “It’s him I don’t trust. He’s not the best sort of guy. Ya’ll aint right for one another.”

I hope Colson can’t hear any of what Finn is saying. To keep him from becoming suspicious, I keep my replies indifferent. “Sure thing. Uh, talk ya later Finn.”

“Bye, talk to you soon.”

We hang up and I slip my phone into my purse.

Colson leans back onto the railing next to me. “Who was that?”

“My older brother, kinda overbearing,” I laugh nervously then bite my lip. My accent begins to subside again.

“I didn’t know you had a brother,” Colson remarks.

A faint smile appears across my lips thinking of my brothers. “I have two actually and an older sister. The order is Finn, Odelle, me then Greyson.”

Colson returns a kind and gentle smile. “That must’ve been nice to grow up with so many siblings.”

“It was.” I nod as memories flash across my mind. “Finn and Odelle were grouped together and so was me and Greyson since our age gaps are less.”

As we pass each level on the elevator there is a “ding.” Facing toward the doors again, I absentmindedly watch the numbers go down as we pass the levels. My mind wanders to the many memories I’ve made with my brothers and sister.

“Finn is about Sam’s age, so he likes to believe he’s almost a co-parent for me and Grey,” I describe with a pleased expression. “He’s the total opposite of Odelle.”

Colson genuinely shows interest, “how is she?”

“She’s a total wild card! We all joke that it’s every other kid. Finn and I are the rule followers. He was student body president, quarterback of the football team and still managed to graduate with honors. I’m nowhere near him on the perfect child spectrum but I’m supposed to be “America’s Sweetheart.” My parents eat that up. Then there’s Odelle, she’s the total opposite of Finn. My parents had to beg her to improve her grades so she could graduate. I remember being twelve, it was the middle of the night when I got up to get a drink. I went downstairs and saw her sneaking out of the backdoor. She made me promise not to tell our parents. I haven’t talked about it until today. There were days she’d fake being sick just to ditch school with her friends. By her senior year nothing had changed. She ended up graduating but my parents forced her to go to a college close to home so they could keep an eye on her. Her antics continued the entire time I was in high school. College for her was a playground. For some reason, I envied her. I still do. I suppose it’s because no one expects anything from her. She messes up, well, that’s Odelle for you. She causes trouble, just another day. For me, my parents have me up on a peddle stool. By the time I turned sixteen people out here started taking notice of me. When I reached seventeen the title of “America’s Sweetheart” popped up and from then on, I was longer a teenager. I had a role to play and an image to uphold. I could never make mistakes like Odelle. I have to be “perfect” constantly. Sometimes I feel like a doll, plastic. None of it is real.”

The bell rings for the floor. I comprehend the words escaping my mouth and snap back to reality. I revealed so much about myself while I was in that daze, private facts about myself that I’ve never spoken of before.

Straightening up and adjust my dress, I apologize. “I’m so sorry. I have no idea what came over me.” The doors slide open and I step out. “Good to see you Colson,” I rush out a farewell before speed walking towards the exit.

I mentally slap myself for all I confessed. If only Nicole found out, my head would be on a stick. My life, my background, every aspect of my being is supposed to be flawless. An All-American girl from South Carolina with a wholesome up brining is who I’m supposed to be. If word gets out that I’m not so perfect then… then I would be finished. My hand digs for my keys in my purse.

“Y/N! Wait up!” Colson jogs up next to me then steps in front of me, blocking my path.

“Colson, please....” I practically plead in a mutter, stepping around him.

He wraps his hand around my wrist, stopping me. “Let me buy you a drink!”

Workers around us walk around in multiple directions like zombies. I wonder if they’re taking notice. Hesitant, I narrow my gaze at me. The reason we’re in this mess is because we were seen with one another.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” I admit and release myself from his grip.

I only make it a few feet before he’s in front of me again.

“Fine, no to a drink! How about we go get some coffee? Or tea? If you prefer tea!”

His chest rises and falls rapidly, his desperation is evident. The reason behind is desperation is still unknown to me, along with the reason he looked at me the way he did last night. Who is this mysterious man who stands before me? So many questions I wish to ask but I can’t get passed his eyes. Puddles of crystal blue settle on a white canvas. Confused beyond belief, for a reason unbeknownst to me, I accept. Could be my curiosity is getting the best of me.

“Coffee it is,” I give in to his request.

He grins ear to ear and steps to the side so we can leave side by side. “Unless of course you prefer we get tea!” he suggests, sounding a tad nervous.

Honestly I like both drinks but I prefer coffee. He holds the door for me and the bright sunlight of California weather strikes me.

“Nah, I normally drink a cold brew with a shot of espresso,” I describe.

He winces and pretends to gag. “Ew! That sounds horrible!”

“It gives you a boost in the morning! Nice and strong!” I laugh.

“You’re nasty!” He waves his hands in disgust.

“Eh, you’ve called me worse,” I laugh, unfazed by his insult.

He chuckles, “you’re not wrong.”

Our laughing dies down a little as we stroll over to the Starbucks. I peer up at him with a side eye. When our eyes meet we begin laughing again uncontrollably.

___________________________________

Masterlist

Tags: @canyoubuymetoast @bri-3530 @asil1652 @andstilltryingtofindmyself @nadia2021 @olafsidehoe @mgkobsessed @fairywriting101 @ferrell-cat @naylanae-0308 @tonystarkswife10 @alexsa56 @brocksbabyyy @stormrider505 @magnificenthumancopangel @sarcasticfangirlus @lilramencup95beech @missyviolet123 @skeleton-gxrl @glitterybearllamaflap @margaritaville20 @amoresixx @Thysagclub @hockeybabe87

#mgk smut #mgk imagine #mgk fanfic #mgk #mgk aesthetic #machine gun kelly #colson baker #colson #machine gun kelly fanfic #imagine #fanfic

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ac3id · 3 years

Text

Plaything | 18+ | part i

plaything 1/ ?? | part 0

pairings: yandere! bully bakugou katsuki x fem! reader

warnings: [series] blackmail, bullying, dubcon/ noncon, filming w/o consent, yandere themes, no quirks au. ALL CHARACTERS ARE ABOVE 18 YEARS OF AGE.

↪ for chapter 1: dubcon, blackmail, humiliation, masturbation, filming w/o consent, boot grinding, a little bit of bakusquad + reader....this is filthy :D

summary: by luck you get enrolled into u.a high the best school in your town. the only catch is that the school is filled with rich, spoilt and powerful brats who just seem to hate you and among them, a certain red eyed blonde dreads you the most

↪ for chapter 1: you bump into bakugou by accident, dropping your vanilla ice cream all over him, you try to apologize and run away but wants more...oh wait why are his friends standing there recording everything too?

wordcount. 4k+

a/n: sooooo, it’s finally out! huge thanks to @sawamooora for proof reading this! helped me out a lot <3 sorry for making u sit through that mess x[

this scene was inspired by that one episode of boys over flowers where the mc’s best friend drops ice cream on the main guy’s shoe and he asks the mc to lick it off...obviously that didn’t happen in the show but it really got me thinking......

alsO the netflix show elite,,, i just saw it and knew,,,,

taglist: @mocha-focha, @erenyeagersbasement , @haribo-pop, @sunshine-fangs, @kuremis, @amazing-fandoms,

dm/ inbox/ comment to be added/ removed.

—navigation

It was a great opportunity. Never in your life would you have thought you’d manage to land a scholarship at the prestigious U.A Private Academy.

The school was a dream, the best in your city, and only affordable for the rich. Graduating from such a school could have helped you with life in so many different ways. Not only would it open doors you could never touch before, but it would help you to form connections which would make your life undoubtedly easier.

Graduating from U.A. was a blessing, but obviously, it did not come easy. It was rather unfortunate. After your previous school building had collapsed, due to some accident, the board announced its year-long closure.

At the time, you were beyond lost and understandably frustrated - it was your last year before college and you simply couldn't risk waiting the year out. The whole situation was nerve-wracking, looking for decent schools which would allow you in.

Honestly, you had no idea what you would’ve done if U.A. hadn’t called you that night.

It was the last day of the summer holidays, a week after your school building had collapsed. Luckily, no one was hurt - but the damage on the campus was severe.

You had been talking to your friends when your mother rushed into your room with exciting news. Apparently, the chairman of U.A was feeling generous. He had decided to offer four excellent students from your school a scholarship to U.A.

You were overjoyed being one of the students along with your two other friends; Shinso Hitoshi and Izuku Midoriya.

At first, the thought was a little scary - going into a completely different world than you were accustomed to. The kids there would be much different than you, you didn't want to be the laughing stock, you didn’t want to be their silly little entertainment... The thought made you nervous, but when your best friend, Izuku, called you the next night explaining how he also won the scholarship; followed by Shinso, you were relieved.

Yes, you were stepping into a whole different world but you at least had your two friends with you.

And that brought you to the first day of school.

You stood outside the huge gates of the even enormous academy all alone shaking in your little, expensive skirt they forced you to wear as the uniform waiting for your friends. You promised the two boys you’d wait for them, and besides, you weren’t planning on entering the building all alone.

Your friends, Shinso and Midoriya, lived close to each other. They were supposed to meet you at the gates of the school that morning, but they were running late. Your anxiety grew the longer you stayed there, with students filling the place- arriving in their fancy cars with their expensive bags and accessories. It easily made you feel out of place.

“Hey,” you heard someone before someone tapped on your shoulder. You quickly turned around to greet the voice. Staring back at you was Uraraka Ochaco.

You remembered she was in your school too, Midoriya has a huge crush on her.

“Yes, Uraraka? Right?” You weren’t close to her, nothing but mere acquaintances. But seeing her face - right here, right now - it made your day.

Uraraka was dressed in the same uniform as you, there was no doubt that she was one of the four kids who won the scholarship. Both of you talked while you implored her to wait for Midoriya and Shinso. You didn’t fail to notice the way her cheeks turned pink when you mentioned Midoriya. The two of them were so obvious.

Your friends arrived, they were late, but they came.

Apparently, there was an accident that forced them to stay back a little longer, but they managed to make it before the first bell.

“I actually have an old friend who goes there now,” Midoriya confesses out of the blue as the four of you enter the gates. You look at him in awe.

During the three years in high school that both of you had spent together, he had never mentioned any friend of his going to the U.A. academy ever.

“Why did you never tell us?” Uraraka asks.

“well, we’re not on good terms. He used to live in the same neighborhood before his parent’s business took off. He left after middle school.” Midoriya says, a slight frown forming on his face.

“Who is he?” Shinso asks.

Midoriya pauses briefly before explaining his entire history with a temperamental and rude blonde. Bakugou Katsuki, he calls him. His childhood friend. But from what you managed to gather, Bakugou was anything but a friend to Midoriya.

Bakugo was once just a simple boy, living a simple life, destined to do great things - but once his parent’s clothing line ‘Dynamite’ blew up and became mainstream, he started drowning in wealth. Bakugo moved out of his old neighborhood at the starting of high school before enrolling in U.A., just like all his rich friends.

“Maybe you should say hi,” Uraraka suggests. Midoriya’s expressions turned sheepish.

“About that…” he started. “I called him yesterday, got his number from mom, and-” he stopped.

“What did he say?” Shinso asked.

“He told me to get lost and die,” Midoriya said with a slight frown on his face, looking down.

That was your first impression of Katsuki Bakugou. For a man you had not even met, you sure loathed him.

School went smoothly for a week, everything was going great. The four of you kept your profile low, didn’t talk until spoken to, kept your distance, and everything was okay.

People often starred and whispered amongst each other when they saw you in the hallways, but that was about it. Everyone seemed to be decent but… there’s always a but.

Everything took a turn for the worse when you managed to piss off the wrong person, Bakugo Katsuki himself.

It was an honest mistake, not even that big of a deal - especially for his standards Yet, for some reason, Bakugo wanted to get under your skin.

It happened after your lunch break, you were on your way back to your classroom with an ice-cream cone fasted tightly in your hands. You mindlessly dashed through the hallways, trying your best to get back to class as fast as possible - you don’t want to be late. It’d earn you a bad reputation. You don’t need that- you don't want anything which could jeopardize your scholarship.

You walked straight and took a turn. Just by fate, you bumped into a stiff, hard chest making you wobble on your feet and sending your ice cream from your hand flying straight to the ground.

“Shit,” you cursed, looking down seeing what you had to work with.

The ice-cream cone splattered on the floor, the white creamy liquid flushed all over the floor along with staining an expensive-looking, black leather boot. A snarl comes from above you along with a group of chuckles. More expensive shoes come into your line of view as you realize you’re not alone.

You slowly bring your gaze up, ogling at who you just pissed off.

Staring back at you is a furious blonde, glaring at you with such intensity that it makes your stomach drop. It’s the infamous Bakugou Katsuki, you don’t want to deal with him.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” you don’t give him a chance to complain as you take your flight. Quickly, you try running away but a large hand grabs your forearm, stopping you dead in your tracks.

You look to the side, deep red eyes stare right back at you.

“Where are you running off to? Don’t you think you owe my friend here a proper apology?” Kirishima says, his grip on your arm growing tighter. He towers over you, his huge body trapping you with intimidation.

Going to U.A for over a week there’s a thing or two that you’ve learned about the rich, snobby brats who own the school. Not everyone is bad, a few of them are actually but the rest are just bad.

Bakugou was the worst. From how Midoriya described him, you knew for a fact he’d be a horrible person. But hell, he managed to prove himself even worse.

He was crude, mean, downright arrogant, and ignorant. Always screaming unasked opinions on top of his lungs, and gets mad whenever someone disagrees. He acts like the world revolves around him.

Bakugo had a bunch of friends who he called his “followers” and they weren’t any better.

They just watched while Bakugou ruined everything, they were there to support him.

Kirishima Eijirou the redhead, he was captain of the football team. He was a jock, brawns over brains kind of person. Girls cooed over him and his overly attractive, hot body. It looked as if he was sculpted by God himself.

Next was Kaminari Denki. He was in the school band, dating the lead singer. And yet, he managed to find time to flirt with other girls. He was the goofball of the group, dumb and stupid But he always knew what he was doing. Even though it was barely noticeable, you could always see a devious glint in those amber eyes of his.

Sero Hanta was famous for a lot of reasons. Most notably for having brought illegal drugs on the campus and skipping classes to go down to his junkie hangout spot to smoke weed. The man had no shame. Sometimes, he’d walk into the classrooms high as fuck. The teachers couldn’t do anything even if they tried, his parents practically owned the school; he owned the school. There was no going against the tall, lanky man who looked like he couldn’t even smash a bug. He held the most power and his friends sure knew how to abuse it.

Last but not least was Mina Ashido. The one and only girl member of the self-proclaimed ‘bakusquad’. Sometimes, Jirou Kyouka, the lead singer of the school, would hang out with the boys and her boyfriend, but she wasn’t a permanent member. Mina was.

In your opinion, Mina was a nightmare dressed like a daydream. With her short, pink hair and bright smile, she seemed like an angel. But she was the devil. Worse than even Bakugou, perhaps.

She knew everything about everyone, she had leverage galore: screenshots ready to leak, videos ready to ruin lives. She had them all, and frankly- she scared you the most.

Kirishima pushed you back, and Bakugo caught you by your shoulders.

“That was fucking rude,” he growled, biting his fingers into your shoulder blades tight and hard making you squeal. “Are you fucking blind or something? Fucking extra.”

“I said I’m sorry, let me go will you?” Even in such a terrifying situation, you try to remain calm.

“What do you think, Sero?” Kaminari began. Your heart sank, including Sero into anything was never a good sign.

“She ruined Bakugou’s new shoes,” he continued. Bakugou’s hold on you tightened and you winced, turning back to him and returning his glare.

“Okay, what do you want?” you give in, finally. A mischievous spark lights up in his crimson eyes as flashes a cocky smirk to his friends before turning back to you with a frown. He pushes you towards Mina and she catches you with an arm around your shoulder.

“Those were expensive, right?” she looks at you and then back at Bakugou. He grunts, nodding.

“Fuck yes, I’m pissed as hell. Some fucking extra managed to ruin it.”

You look back down to steal a glance at his heavy, leather boot. The small, white stain melted away.

“What will you do to make up for it?” Mina whispers your name and you cringe. They were teasing you. For their fun, they were making fun of you.

“What can I do?” you say, sarcastically. Prying yourself away from her hold. The crowd goes dead silent before speaking. Sero is the first one to talk.

“Lick it off.”

There’s a pause, no one speaks. Your stomach drops and your face pales at the look the five of them are giving you- it’s serious. Dead serious.

Kaminari bursts out laughing followed by Sero and the others. The four of them get a great laugh but Bakugou stares at you head-on with his grave expressions burning through your soul.

“Whatcha looking at? Do it,” he commands.

The laughing dies down and Kaminari speaks, “are you serious? You want her to lick your shoe,” he can’t control his laughter, a chuckle breaks with every word.

“Yes, I’m fucking serious. Besides, Sero recommended it,” he smirks. “Do you really want to say no to him? I don’t know so much about this but-“ he leans down close to your face, his lips ghosting the shell of your ear, “it might complicate your scholarship.”

There’s a twisted rhythm in his voice. He’s enjoying tormenting you. You still want to believe that they’re just messing around. That they’ll have their laughs and let you go, but the way Sero stares at you says otherwise.

“You don’t wanna do it?” Bakugou asks.

“Of course she doesn’t! That’s gross, oh my god.” Mina exclaims, earning a chuckle from the rest of the boys.

“Hey, let’s hear it from Sero himself.” Kirishima pats Sero’s back, pushing him forward. The five of them have circled around you, coiling you inside their venomous nest with you in the center. You turn to Sero with pleading eyes, looking up at his huge form, begging.

He smirks looking down at you, you look so tiny beneath bim. He wants to mess with you, even more, you look like a nice toy to him. He wants to play with it until he can’t.

“I guess, I did say that-” your blood runs cold, heartbeat picking up in nervousness. “-but you don’t need to do it.” He finishes. Your face lights up while the others groan in disappointment. Bakugou looks livid.

“Just know that, you’re the one who dropped the ice cream on Bakugou’s shoe and now you’re not even helping him out. That’s not very noble, is it? I don’t know if I even by mistake slipped that info back home- my parents might reconsider whether you truly deserve to be here or not. They don’t really like disrespectful kids who comprise the school’s name.”

Sero ends his speech with a wide, ear-to-ear grin, followed by a pat to your head.

“The choice is yours.”

You pause for a moment and think. Where they were really going to make you do it, where they were really going to humiliate you like this. They were. But were you willing to do it?

From Sero’s threat, you could tell he was serious, this was legit.

It wouldn’t have been the first time the school expelled someone who had beef with Sero, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. They don’t care about anyone but their loving son. They wouldn’t even think once before expelling you.

“What’s your answer, princess?” Kirishima teases.

Mina and Kaminari once again break into fits of laughter.

“What do you mean? She doesn’t have a choice here, kneel you extra.” Your heart hammers in your chest as Bakugou gestures you to kneel. You stop for a second, breathing unevenly- thinking. After a long, thoughtful sigh, you answer.

“No, I am not going to do it.” Your voice is meek yet clear. Even though you’re trembling under the heavy gazes of five snakes, you choose to stand your ground.

Bakugou glaring at you while the others boo.

“Aw, c’mon you don’t mean that.”

“Don’t be a little brat.”

Bakugou stays silent while the others continue to throw insults at you - calling you names and trying to make you regret your decision. You look straight forward into Bakugou’s cold, red eyes, searching for his next move. Your heart beats even harder in your chest with increased anxiety. After watching your torment for more than a few minutes, Bakugo decides he’s had enough of this game.

“Hey, shitty hair,” Bakugo starts. “Punch me.”

“What?” Kirishima asks, vividly shaken. “Why do you want me to hit you, Bakubro?”

“Punch me real hard, give me a black eye.” The confusion grows greater on everyone’s faces. You stare at him in awe, wondering what angle was trying to play.

Kirishima raises his hands in defense. “Woah, dude slow down there. I’m not just going to punch you.”

Bakugou clicks the roof of his tongue, letting out a sound of irritation. “You all are just dumb,” he starts.

“Imagine if this punny, little,” he leans down closer to you till his lips touch your ears and whispers your name with a crude chuckle. “Were to drop all her food over me, not apologize, punch and me then run away, that’d bring her into a whole world of trouble. Wouldn’t it?”

Bakugo’s words are calculated and sly, he knows exactly what he’s getting at when he starts. His voice fills you up with dread as he makes his accusations public.

“She would be expelled on spot and Kacchan could also raise charges,” Kaminari adds.

Your eyes widen in fear.

“Yeah, I’ll fucking do that.” Mina giggles. “That would succck,” she cheers. Your lower lip quivers as you stare at them in disbelief, your eyes open wide only to be covered with fear.

“Hey, c’mon, why are you doing this to me?” You feel them inch closer to you, their warmth leeching onto you the longer you stay surrounded by them.

“Because you have no fucking manners.” Bakugou snarls.

“Kiri, punch him. What are you waiting for? If you don’t wanna do it I will!” Kaminari cries, growing impatient.

Kirishima laughs before he charges Bakugou. Your heart hammers in your chest.

You think about your family, your future, and how disappointed everyone would be with you. Your dreams and aspirations, all were rooted in this school.

It was honestly sad, pathetic even. Your entire future was just a joke to these spoiled kids. These kids who could control you, and everyone else, with just a flick of their fingers. It’s unfortunate, but that’s the price to pay for a piece of the beautiful cake known as U.A... You resign yourself to your fate.

A piece of your mind.

“N-no, don’t do that. I-I’ll do it,” you murmured, your voice timid and weak. The five paused looking at each other with an ominous glint in their eyes. Bakugou was the first to speak.

“Well, then fucking get on with it. On your knees.” Obediently like a trained puppy, you got down onto your knees, not letting your eyes fall from Bakugou’s face. His red, fierce eyes barked at you with an unknown look, keeping you lost.

“Holy shit, she’s actually doing this,” Mina squealed watching you lean forward, bringing your face next to Bakugou’s expensive boots.

“Kaminari, record this.” Sero taps at the energetic blonde, forcing him to take his phone out and hit ‘record’. As you lean further to the ground, your short skirt rides up behind you, giving the audience a clear view of your round ass and pastel panties. The sight brings a smile to Bakugou’s face as he scoffs.

“Cute panties,” he remarks.

You jerk, trying desperately to sit back, but Bakugo stops you. Smashing his other foot on top of your shoulder, he holds you there facing the ground.

“Don’t. You. Dare.” he growls.

You squirm, almost falling under his weight and as much you hate to admit it, a tingle of excitement runs down your spine. This was turning you on.

A row of whistles flood in, the boys start teasing you and praising Bakugou.

“Lick it off,” he commands.

You look down at his leather boot, the ice cream almost melted. There’s still a bright white spot of the sweet now liquid splayed out. Even though it’s not a lot, it still makes you cringe. You peek your shy, little tongue out timidly, forcing yourself to do the heinous deed.

Bakugou watches you hesitate and pushes on your shoulder harder making you reach towards him.

You give in after a final attempt, diving into his wishes. Your wet tongue touches the rough, cold leather. You cringe after a single touch, closing your eyes and scrunching your nose at the salty taste. “Clean it all off,” he commands.

You dive back in, this time letting your tongue glide across a larger portion. The humiliation burns through your body. It makes you uncomfortably hot, mostly from anger and but a little bit of arousal.

“Nice ass.”

There it is. The excitement comes back the moment they start making suggestive comments, the attention riles you up and it’s horrible.

“Kaminari are you even supposed to be here? Don’t you have a girlfriend?” Mina asks at the blonde pervert who was currently zooming on your ass.

“Oh? We’re cool as long as I don’t stick my dick her,” he points to you. “That’s hella fucking tempting but I’m in love, dude.” He chuckles to himself, thinking about his girlfriend.

They treat you like an object, talking about you like you were some sort of a toy.

“Bet her pussy is tight,” Sero says.

Kirishima turns to Bakugou, looking at him with pleading eyes. “Yo, Bakubro, can we touch her?”

Bakugou looks on from watching you lick his boot and turns to Kirishima. A dark, unsettling gaze falls across his eyes as he speaks, “No. This one is mine.” he stares down at you.

You stop lapping on his shoe and stand back on your knees, buckling your knees you try to get up but Bakugou harshly kicks your shoulder, throwing you back and making you cry.

“Why did you do that?” you squeal, holding onto your bruised shoulder, glaring at him intently.

The rest of the group goes quiet at the display of Bakugou’s sudden violence.

He stands between your thighs, lazily resting his foot atop of your soft thighs.

“You’re fucking pathetic, you know that?” the angle you were spread out in had your skirt flipped over hips, displaying your pretty, pastel panties to everyone in the room.

Even though it’s subtle, masked by everyone’s fear of what Bakugou was planning, you still feel everyone’s gaze focused right on you and more specifically at your clothed cunt. Bakugou presses hard on your thigh making you cry.

“Useless Deku’s friends are just like him. The fucking second you walked in here, I knew you were just another useless insect for me to stomp on.” He pauses, smirking, pressing his foot onto you even harder, twisting his ankle to increase the burning sting surging across your right thigh. “And I’m doing just that.”

He steps off you for a moment, letting you catch your breath and recover from the burn. His eyesight travels lower down to your panties. He admires the cute pair you had on. Normally when he’d see girls naked, they’d dress themselves up the most luxurious to match his standards. But that’s not you, that could never be you.

He rejoices at the thought of seeing your flushed, tear-stained face breaking down under him. You’ll never be like those girls, always a step behind. He can build you up and break you however he likes, you’d have no say in it.

The power trip drives him crazy.

He presses the tip of his boot over your clothed clothed cunt, pushing the hard material right over your sensitive clit.

You gasp at the feeling, looking up at him with terrified eyes. He smirks down at you, moving his foot in a steady rhythm, rubbing the fabric of your cotton panties against your little pearl.

“This turning you on? What a freak.” The rest of his group basks in shock. They watch intently as the scene spiraled out for them, too captivated to make any comments. They just keep quiet and stare.

The way you squirm under Bakugou as he plays with your cute clit so unforgivingly makes them hot with excitement. Kaminari feels a little guilty but he blames it on his nature as a man.

Sero feels a little bad for you, they all do. But then again they wouldn’t waste the opportunity to be in Bakugou’s footsteps- literally.

“You’re a little slut, you know that?” Bakugou sneers.

Your gasps turn into whimpers as his simulation becomes harder. You clench your fists, desperately wishing it to be over. Tears brim in your eyes at the sheer humiliation of your corrupted form. This was just too much, too much for you to handle.

“Please, stop,” you beg, knowing he wouldn't listen. “I’ll report you,” you cry. A roar of laughter starts, shutting you up.

“Go for it, you do that.” Mina comments. Kaminari walks closer to you, bringing the camera down to your face recording your horrified expressions.

“We’ll just go ahead and post this online.” he threatens.

A drop of tear falls down your waterline following a waterfall. You cry, leave all of your dignity behind and cry. You beg them to stop but as your pleas mix with your moans, it’s hard for anyone to understand what you’re saying. It’s not like they don’t know what you’re asking them for, they just turn deaf, simply because they can.

Bakugou stops, he takes a step back, leaving you alone. You let out the tiniest cry when he leaves, ditching you just when you need his touch the most.

“Feels like I’m doing too much of the work, if you want it so bad, do this yourself.” He says. Your body still burns with desire, your clit still hard and cunt salivating, you are nowhere close to being done...

It’s as if something takes over and you are possessed by the dire need to cum, you do exactly as he says.

You snake your fingers down your panties, deliberately rubbing on your swollen little clit before pushing your finger into your drenched cunt. You cry out as you clench around your finger, the pleasure becoming unbearable. Your legs shake and you close your eyes shut.

You stay there on the floor, fingering yourself in the corridor, without any shame, while Kaminari records all of it.

“She’s gonna give me a hard-on,” Kirishima says and you moan.

“She really is a slut, huh?” Sero comments.

“She’s cute,” Mina adds with a smile.

Bakugou scoffs, “does Deku know how much of a whore you are?” He asks.

You don’t pay any attention to what he says, too busy bringing yourself to your climax.

“You’re getting all this right?” Mina looks over Kaminari’s shoulder and onto the phone screen which captures you beautifully losing yourself for everyone to see.

“You close?” Bakugou asks as you feel yourself clench around fingers tightly, he bends down on his and pulls your panties down your hips, admiring your precious cunt.

“Cute pussy,” he remarks before flicking your sensitive, hardened clit.

A rush of pleasure washes down your body as you cry while cumming. Bakugou pushes you right over the edge, a nasty grin screaming atop his face as he watches you. You curse at yourself for letting him see you like this, but there’s not much you can do but cry while you feel your juices gush around you before sliding down your thighs and onto the dirty floor.

It takes a second for you to calm down and when you do come to your senses, dread fills you up. Tears shamelessly fall down your face as you realize what you just did. The others laugh at you, without feeling any remorse.

Bakugou continues to stare at you with an unsettling look, while the others discuss the heinous crime you’ve just committed.

Sero looks down at you and you catch his dark eyes staring at you. A toothy grin scavenges his face as he speaks.

“Awesome,” he says as if he just finished some mediocre movie.

Finally, you find the courage to get up and run.

This was totally not awesome.

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sodadrabbles · 3 years

Note

hear me out- one more littleboo but like if they were crying or like going through smt and ranboo just helps//comforts them if that makes sense? GEHDDH okay have a good day :]

THE PEOPLE DEMAND HURT/COMFORT. I SHALL FEED YOU, MY PEOPLE

Also, I wanted to address why I use ‘Ranboo’ in these fics, when referring to the actual CC- We don’t know Ranboo’s real name. I want to respect his wishes and not speculate, because that’s creepy. So, I just use Ranboo. A couple people were asking in my inbox. I know Tubbo said his name was Mark, but that was never confirmed, and, again, I don’t want to speculate on his personal information, that’s WEIRD.

LIttleboo IV: Hurt/comfort or bust.

Pairing: Ranboo x sibling!Reader (gender-neutral)!

Rating: Soft. Bad ending, I’m so sorry (NOT ANGST, IM JUST BAD AT WRITING)

Summary: Being a freshman sucks ass, but Ranboo bought taco bell, it’s all good.

To say today was a bad day would be an understatement. It was probably the most terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day of your 14-year-old life. The whole day the universe would launch bad thing after bad thing at you, as if it was somehow testing you in your will to deal with bullshit. Like it was asking you ‘What are you willing to put up with today?’

Your answer was ‘Not fucking this.’

You woke up to your brother shaking you softly, telling you the power had gone out and you were both late. For an upperclassman this wasn’t a big deal- But you were a freshman. Your teachers were going to give you absolute hell for being late, and knowing Ranboo was going to get off scot-free made you a little salty. You had to skip breakfast and had to leave with your hair still a bit messy, barely able to comb through it with your fingers while Ranboo drove you both to school.

Then there was a pop quiz first period- English. You were never terrible at english, but being on the topic of the last three chapters of the book you were reading for class- Chapters which you had not read yet- The test had been a little difficult. Not to mention the hunger clawing at your stomach, and the strange fog that was settled about your thoughts.

You thought you could catch a break through second period and lunch, knowing Chemistry would be an easy day and you could grab something good with your brother, but fate had other plans in mind.

During Chemistry, you were tasked with picking a partner and completing an experiment afterthought worksheet, going over the experiment you had done in class the day before. You were paired with the nice girl sat next to you- At least you thought she was nice. As the teacher dismissed the class to begin talking amongst themselves, you turned to start asking her how her experiment went yesterday. You didn’t have a chance to ask, however, as the girl snapped at you harshly. “Don’t even bother! I’m not doing this assignment. Do it on your own.”

Her voice was pitched and loud, and it caused you to wince back. You tilt your head and try to ask her, but she cuts you off by flicking the paper in your direction. It sends both your papers flying, and you try to catch them, but fail miserably and fall out of your chair unceremoniously. As you fall, your foot comes up to counter balance and you nearly kick the girl in the head- Keyword being nearly. You were sure you were able to stop yourself, and hadn’t touched it, but still the girl screeches and begins screaming bloody murder. The teacher comes over to check what’s going on, the girl sobbing and holding her head.

And then she lies through her teeth.

“Sir, she just kicked me! I was just asking about her experiment and she kicks me!”

She’s sobbing dramatically, and though you’re clearly not at fault, considering it was clear you had fallen out of your chair. Even still the teacher sides with her, giving you a short and disappointing talk about violent behaviour in the classroom, ending with “I have no choice but to give you lunch detention and a zero on the assignment.”

You don’t try to argue- Exhaustion was already settling on your body and you didn’t want to just make the situation worse than it already was. The rest of second period dragged on like a snail. You sat awkwardly at your table, twiddling your thumbs and staring at the walls. You could feel eyes boring into the back of your skull with each passing glance at the students. A few whispers that seemed much too loud yet indecipherable hitting your ears, somehow knowing deep in your soul that the other students were whispering about you. By the time the lunch bell rang you were starting to feel tears prick at your eyes as your own thoughts betrayed you.

During lunch detention, you were at the very least allowed your phone. You texted your brother, alerting him that you had lunch detention. He promised to bring you food before your third period began- The gesture brought a smile to your face. Your third period was your favorite, because Ranboo was also taking that class. US History. You were able to push through detention with Philza’s stream, starting a TTS war with Wilbur in the time you were able to watch. Of course, mentioning you were in detention earned you a little rant from Phil, not doing much to better your mood.

When third period came down to bless you, you could feel the tears welling in your eyes at the happy sight of your tall older brother holding a taco bell bag in his hand. You basically tackled him, nearly knocking him to the ground. His arms flew around you for stability, and you gripped the back of his shirt as an involuntary sob came out of your mouth.

Ranboo stared down at you with his brows furrowed with concern, his mouth pulled into a tight frown. He pushed you to the side to allow other students to get into the classroom, and released you from the hug to look you in the face. Your eyes were puffy and your cheeks and nose were red, stray tears still rolling down your cheeks. He wiped one away.

“(Y/N), what happened? Why are you crying?” He asked, your eyes avoiding him. You hated to cry in front of people- But the stress of the day weighed heavy on your shoulders. You had just gotten too excited. When you explained this, Ranboo shook his head. “(Y/N) it’s perfectly okay, you don’t have to apologize.”

He hugged you again, and you hugged him back. After standing there for a moment, the annoying ring of the school bell sounded overheard, alerting you that class was starting.

“Tell you what,” Ranboo beamed at you, picking up the bag of food. “We’re gonna go in there, annoy Mr. Anderson, and eat chalupas until we explode. Sound good?”

You smile and nod your head. God, your older brother is so cool.

---

The rest of the day was smooth as it could be. You spent all of third period messing around with Ranboo- The assignment given for the day forgotten as homework that you would sit down and do together before Ranboo had to stream. You feared that your fourth period, Algebra, would once again break you down into a ball of anxiety and terror. But to your pleasant surprise, you would be watching a movie with a substitute for that class.

Your mood had been significantly raised by the time the bell had rung, releasing you from the confines of the building. You packed your things quietly, the hustle and bustle of an emptying school occupying your senses. You had rushed down through the hallways towards to doors leading to student parking. Ranboo was supposed to be waiting for you at the car.

But before you could reach the door, you felt a hand grip your bag, pulling you backwards. Your feet flew out from under you as you fell to the ground, your bag being ripped from your shoulders. You felt you back collide with the cold, tiled ground, pain shooting through spine.

Shrill giggling sounds from above you. You groan and roll onto your front, staring up at a group of three girls laughing at you. You recognized the one holding your bag from your chemistry class. By the looks of the other two, they were also freshmen. You try to get on your feet, but the girl swings her leg, knocking your hands out from under you. You feel something press against your back.

The girl from your class laughs as she bends down to look at you. “You thought you could get away with that little stunt?” She sneers, her hand grabbing your face. Not able to think of anything else to do, you snap your jaws, nearly biting her. She screeches and backs away.

“DID YOU JUST TRY TO BITE ME?” She screams, her face twisted in disgust. You feel the presume on your back worsen, and you strain your neck to see who was standing on your back. You recognized the guy as a junior on the soccer team. You vaguely recalled the girl mentioned she was dating a guy on the soccer team.

You squirm, freeing your hands from underneath you. Just as you were about to grab the guy’s leg, you hear a familiar voice shout. The three girls in front of you scatter like rats- But the soccer player stays. He turns to look at whoever shouted, his chest puffing out as if he’s prepared for a fight. However the color seems to drain from his face when he sees the mystery person- And he runs away like a dog with its tail between its legs.

As you start to stand, someone grabs you by the shoulders and helps you up. You’re met with the mop of brown hair and concerned gray eyes of your older brother. He helps you to your feet, handing you your bag. You thank him as you throw the bag over your shoulders, giving your older brother a tight hug.

You don’t even realize there were tears in your eyes again, until Ranboo tells you to dry your eyes. “Sorry…” You whisper, hand wiping away the water. “I don’t know why I’m crying.

Ranboo smiles at you again, his hand patting the top of your head. You smile at him too, and he leads you out of the school, asking if you’re alright or if anything hurts. You spend the walk to the car feeling grateful you have someone to help you out like that. It has you smiling to entire ride home.

#mcyt x reader #dream smp x reader #dsmp x reader #ranboo x reader #ranboo x you #ranboo x y/n #request #anon #cc!ranboo x reader #cc!ranboo x you #cc!ranboo x y/n

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ellieswhoreeee · 3 years

Text

The Two of Us. pt 2

authors note; thank you guys for the support, it really means a lot to me! Im glad you guys liking the story so far! Anyways, here’s part two! Also, i’d like to apologize in advance for any errors or if something doesn’t make sense. English isn’t my first language so i’m sorry if there’s something wrong :)

Endgame pairings: Ellie Williams x fem! reader.

Warnings: Violence, marijuana, swearing, ect.

———————————————————————

It really hurt seeing them together.

You felt the disappointment, the hurt and the jealousy as they simply talked. Though you know there was a deeper meaning behind their seemingly innocent conversation. You know more than anyone about them. Being one Ellie’s best friends is both a blessing and a curse.

She smiled, looking slightly flustered after Cat whispered something in her ear, and you couldn’t help but clench your jaw at that.

It was a troubling sight, really it was. Everything seemed so off. Like it wasn’t real. But it was. Ellie was laughing with the cool girl who can do tattoos, one of your friends. God, it really felt like you were getting jabbed in the heart over and over again.

But you had no right to jealous at all. She wasn’t yours to be jealous about.

Cat looked around, making sure nobody was looking- but held eye contact with you for a moment before she leaned in and kissed Ellie on the lips. That’s when you finally looked away, continuing to fix Gemini’s saddle.

Gemini was tied to the fence by the barn and was close to the fence. Other horses lined up beside his right side. Today’s group was getting to leave for the morning. Earlier than usual.

Mondays are rough.

“How long have they been together now?” Jesse asked when he walked over to you as you were packing up for patrol. You turned to look at him so you could have an actual conversation. He looked directly into your eyes, almost as if he was trying to figure you out. Jesse was someone who could see everything with one look. You kinda hated him for knowing so much about how you felt about Ellie without telling him much about it.

“…I wanna say 2 months, but we both know it’s been longer than that.” You replied with a frown, continuing to distract yourself by finishing to prep Gemini for patrol.

“Y/n, could you stop looking so miserable? It’s starting to bum me out.”

You chuckled lightly, finally stepping away from Gemini and decided to lean against the wooden fence beside your horse. Jesse decided to the same, and he leaned against it with you. You looked down at your hands, deciding to pick at your cuticles just so you wouldn’t look at the couple. “Why don’t you look just as miserable as me? Didn’t Dina break up with you? Again.”

“Ouch, you really know how to turn on certain emotions.”

“I’m serious. Like, i haven’t been broke up with, yet here i am…” You paused, you stopped picking at your cuticles just to look across the street, where the couple was. Happily minding their business. Ellie and Cat were talking and laughing sweetly. Again, with that pain in your chest. “Utterly heartbroken.”

Jesse patted you on the back, it was his way of comforting you since he had no idea how else to help. “It won’t get easier. One moment you think you’re stronger than whatever you’re feeling but then… you realize it doesn’t matter how good you hide it. If you keep on hiding it, the pain will get to you before you can express those feelings properly.”

“I’m gonna be honest Jesse… I have no idea what you mean by that.”

“Of course you don’t…” He mumbled with a laugh. Again he patted you on the back and pushed himself off the fence. “Think about it clearly.” He then walked off, somewhere towards Maria and some other adults.

Again, you and Gemini were left alone together.

You couldn’t help but think about what Jesse brought up earlier. What did he mean by that? You’re not sure how to process what he meant. Either you were completely clueless- or Jesse tried to be all wise but failed.

“Y/n! Come over here.” You heard Maria’s voice, which broke you from your trance. You left Gemini tied to the post as you walked over to Maria and some other people. Mila and Benji smirk at you as you walk closer. Mila and Benji are your close friends and have been for a while. Though you haven’t seen them lately because of work. Everyone is extra busy lately. Mostly.

“Look who finally decided to join us.” Benji remarked as he wrapped his arm around you once you were close. He pulled you closer and walked towards Maria’s table that was used for placing maps for patrol.

You pushed him off of you gently and made a grossed out face at him. “You really stink, Benji. When was the last time you took a shower?”

Benji only smiled and raised his left arm up to smell his armpit and his clothes too. “It’s my natural musk, all the ladies love it.”

You and Mila looked at each other simultaneously. It was as if you were on the same wavelength. Both of your rolled your eyes at him. “As a lady, i will be speaking for everyone when i say you smell nasty.” Mila exposed truthfully while crossing her arms on her chest.

“Hold up, you’re not a lady, you’re a brute.”

“Oh, i’m the brute? You haven’t taken a proper shower in weeks. Jumping into lakes and rivers don’t count.”

“Says who? It’s more natural,”

“More like nasty.”

You ignored the two bickering idiots and moved closer to the table where Maria was. “What were you thinking Maria?” You asked, looking down at the map of the area. It stretched out for miles.

She looked up at you. “Have you ever done the urban trails? It leads up to the dam checkpoint.”

You shook your in response. “I haven’t. Do you want me to take that route? You should pair me up with someone who’s done that trail then.”

There’s a lot of trails, so there are at least 10 or 15 trails you’ve never done before. These type of trails are the longer routes. The reason you haven’t done those routes is because Tommy isn’t that confident in you to take on the longer routes.

But now it was different, not only are you older but more capable of handling yourself more than anyone.

“You’re right…” Maria paused, she was thinking, trying to slowly put some pieces together. “But there isn’t anyone on duty right now who knows the trails that i can think of.”

Jesse’s head perked up at what she said, smirking at you from across the table. He was right next to Maria like always. She trusts him a lot because he was also a natural leader. “Actually, Ellie knows that trail.”

You instinctively felt your heartbeat start to speed up, and your face started to warm up at his insinuation. You knew what he was doing. “Ellie and Dina are already planning on running their routes on chestnut drive. I can take a group and we’ll figure it out together.” You intervened, giving Jesse a look that said, ‘shut up’.

“No, Jesse is right. You and Ellie can take the urban trails. It’ll be much faster with you two clearing that area. We can’t send a group to one trail- especially not now when we’ve been getting reports of infected in the southern territories- the opposite direction of urban trails.”

You sighed, knowing that her words were always final. You scratched the back of your neck- feeling an inch. “I’ll go let Ellie know. Jesse talk to Dina.” You give him another glare and just he smiled, sending a wink your way.

You turned around, looking over at where Cat and Ellie were still talking. Lately, things have been awkward between you two. It may have something to do with the fact that you maybe- just maybe that you were avoiding her.

It didn’t really matter, Ellie hasn’t noticed anything differently anyways. Or so you assumed.

“Ellie!” At the sound of your voice she quickly turned away from her girlfriend. She dropped Cats hands and fully turned to face you. Her full attention was now on you. But of course, you didn’t notice that either. “Assignments! Let’s go, kiss your girlfriend goodbye and get your ass on shimmer!”

It was getting easier to hide your feelings, even your distain for the couple and how you felt about Ellie.

“Fuck… Alright, just give me a minute!”

You gave her a thumbs up, and turned away. You walked towards your horse, seeing Jesse waiting there for you. He must have finished talking with Dina. He held out a hunting rifle and a shotgun towards you. He looked between both guns. “Which one do you prefer?” He questioned.

You smiled, looking at both guns. “Quite the tough question, Jes.”

Ellie walked up behind you, looking right over your shoulder. She was so close to you. Your breathe hitched lightly as she observed both guns. “I think you’re more of a rifle girl. It suits you more than a shotgun.”

Jesse grinned, and his eyes sparkled for a moment when you looked at him. He then nodded, agreeing with what Ellie had said. “That settles that then.” He held the rifle for you to take, which you did. Jesse then passed the shotgun to Ellie.

With the help of the sling, you tossed the rifle over your shoulder. Ellie was staring at you, trying desperately to get your attention without having to say anything but you were occupied with Gemini once again. She sighed, and decided to just start the conversation.

“So… Where have you been lately? I haven’t seen you around, not even in the mess hall.” Ellie hesitated but walked over to Gemini’s mane. You were by his saddle, and when you stared into her eyes it felt like it was only you and her. Instinctively, your eyes trailed from her eyes to her lips. You couldn’t help it. She was so close. Ellie shyly looked down at her hands as she continued to mess with Gemini’s mane. “I’ve uh… Missed hanging out with you. We still haven’t finished our halo campaign.”

You bit the inside of you cheek, and decided that laughing nervously would help ease your nerves. “Yeah, i’m sorry about that. I asked Maria for more assignments since… You know, i have nothing better to do.”

Ellie wanted to say something but held her tongue. She wanted to say something to continue your conversation but you interrupted her instead. “Listen, Maria wants you and me to handle the urban trails. Pretty sure we have to replace Danny and Axel at the dam checkpoint …”

“You and i,” Ellie corrected suddenly, making you stare at her in disbelief and confusion. She gave you a smirk. “You said ‘you and me’ but that isn’t proper grammar.”

You rolled your eyes playfully at her. “Fuck off, Williams. Did you even listen to a word i said?”

“So, we’re back to last names? Since when?”

“Since you decided to be a grammar queen, you dick.”

“Woah! Language, there are children around, L/n!”

“The only child i see is you.” You replied with a happy smile on your face. You and Ellie climbed on your horses and waited by the gates. Ellie continue to talk to you like nothing was wrong- well, not like she knew if there was something wrong anyways. You kept stuff to yourself.

You missed this. You missed hanging out with Ellie. You just… Missing having her by your side, kicking the worlds ass together but now… Ellie was with Cat. Her relationship put a wedge on your friendship. You felt farther away to Ellie then ever.

Everything has changed. Which sucked because you weren’t sure how to deal with the changes. It was all going by so fast. You just wished everything was different. It was selfish of you but… You didn’t care.

“Y/n, you with me?” Ellie snapped you out of your thoughts. She looked back at you as the gates opened.

You nodded. “Always.”

#ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #reader insert #the last of us part two #jesse tlou #dina tlou #maria tlou #tommy tlou #joel miller #tlou2 ellie

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rhysismydaddy · 3 years

Text

Casual Ruin pt. 4 (Elriel)

Elain’s part of the Damnation Series

~Elain~

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned.”

That’s what I’m supposed to say, right? That’s what they say in movies, I think. Does it count if it isn’t in Italian?

I rub a hand across my forehead, shaking my head at myself. I’m not even religious. I haven’t been to church since I grew out of the pastel pink Easter dress my mother used to love forcing me into.

Yet here I am, sitting in a dark, hot box, attempting to confess my sins.

I think I’m losing it.

Five days with no Azriel, and I’m turning to religion.

The dark shadow on the other side of the confessional doesn’t help me in the slightest or even tell me if I’m doing this right. He just sits in silence and waits for me to pour my heart and soul out.

So I say, in an embarrassingly shaky tone, “Well, I... I’ve been sleeping with someone.”

That gets me a low hm.

“Someone I shouldn’t have.” Before he can get the wrong idea, I blurt, “He’s not married or anything. At least, I don’t think so. God, what if he’s married? Oh, I probably shouldn’t say God’s name in vain in church. Sorry.”

Father gives a deep sigh, and I take that to mean I should hurry up. “Anyway, he’s just... not a good guy. I won’t confess his sins for him, but believe me, he’s committed his fair share.”

Still nothing.

I think he’s waiting for the actual confession part of this thing.

So I say the words I’ve been trying to fight for the last five days. “I told him I don’t want to see him anymore, but I don’t think... I don’t think that’s really true.”

Another hm, this time more thoughtful.

“I keep thinking about him, all the time. Even though I know it’s wrong. He’s like a tumor.”

There’s a huff, like he’s amused.

“I’m worried I’m not a good enough person to say away from him,” I murmur quietly, which is the understatement of the century.

I know I’m not, which is why I’m here.

I’m pre-confessing, because if the way Azriel’s been on my mind the past couple of days is any indication, it’s only a matter of time before I get desperate enough to call him and tell him his... occupation doesn’t change things.

There’s a bit of a pause, like he doesn’t know how to reply, and then for the first time, I get an actual response. In a very thick, very German accent, the... priest? replies, “His sins are not yours.”

He’s taking the stance opposite of what I thought he would, but that’s a good point. Good enough I don’t bother asking myself why a German priest is in an Italian church.

“True, but if I stay with him, aren’t I condoning them? Don’t they become mine?”

“His sins are not yours,” he repeats.

Helpful.

I’m about to ask for a little bit of actual advice when he asks, “Do you regret it?”

“No,” I answer almost immediately, knowing that no matter how much I hate what Azriel does, I could never regret the time I spent with him.

He’s silent, probably thinking of my punishment for being such a scheming harlot.

I’ll likely have to do a million hail Mary’s once this conversation is over.

But instead of telling me I’m going to hell, he surprises me by asking, “So you plan to sleep with him again?”

There was something familiar about the tone of his voice, but I don’t know anyone German, so I don’t ponder it for long. His question doesn’t require pondering, either.

“No,” I answered with fake certainty, even though the thought of never having Azriel’s calloused hands all over me makes me unspeakably sad.

“Are you sure? Forgiveness from the Lord requires... repentance.”

I sigh at that, hesitating even though I shouldn’t. “I’m sure. No matter how much I want to or think about it, I can’t.”

“I think you should.”

My mouth drops open, not only because the words he just said or the sudden disappearance of his accent, but because the screen separating me from the man on the other side of the confessional drops, revealing the bane of all my problems.

Azriel sticks a cigarette between his full lips, lights it casually, and smiles the devil’s smile.

“What the hell are you doing in here?” I demand, barely resisting the urge to fling myself over to his side and strangle him.

“Listening to a very insincere confession.” Even though I narrow my eyes in the most threatening gesture I can make, he continues, “You know, if you feel like you need punishing, I can always take you over my knee.”

A strange tingle shoots through me and makes my spin straighten, but I ignore it and glare at him harder.

“You shouldn’t be here.” I look him over, ignoring how good it is to see him and asking, “Aren’t you worried you’re going to catch on fire?”

He grins, blowing smoke around him. “If I’m the devil, does that make you my angel?”

“I’m not your anything.”

He just watches me and smokes his cigarette, something I’m sure is frowned upon in church. Probably right beneath sneaking into a private confessional.

“Are you even religious?”

My lips twitch as I lie and say, “Recently converted.”

Azriel braces his arms in the small hole of the wall between us, looking unconvinced. “Yeah? What are the Ten Commandments?”

My head tilts as my eyes narrow. “I don’t know them all, but I have to believe one is about not killing people.”

“Number six,” he tells me, surprising me with the fact that he knows that. “You know, there’s also one about not stealing. And I happen to know for a fact you stole my sunglasses that day we were on the beach.”

Comparing those two sins is so ridiculous, a laugh bubbles out of me. He killed someone, yet by his logic I’m just as bad a sinner.

I knew this religion thing wasn’t for me.

“Why are you here, Azriel?” I ask, trying to get back to normal footing.

He takes so long to respond, I’m almost convinced he isn’t even going to bother. He runs a hand across his jaw, through his hair. Looks around at the plain little booth. Smokes some more.

When I’m about to give up and just leave, he says quietly, “I can’t stop thinking about you, either.”

My heart starts to pick up pace. “Yeah?”

I know I shouldn’t encourage this conversation, but hearing that he thinks about me the way I think about him... it means something to me.

“Yeah,” he agrees after a few moments, reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ear.

It falls silent, and something grows in the silence, building between us until all I’m aware of are the small sweeps of his thumb against my cheekbone.

I don’t know if he pulls me forward or if I take the step myself, but suddenly I’m right in front of him, our faces lined up through the small hole in the wall.

There’s a Bible in a little cubby that’s pressing into my stomach, and I’m sure there’s no better sign to resist sin than literal scripture digging into you, but I can’t bring myself to care.

It’s been less than a week without him, but it’s like my body is touched starved. The single inch where we’re connected is a live wire, and I close my eyes, trying to figure out what we were even talking about.

Releasing a tense breath that sounds a whole lot like relief, he slides his hand to the nape of my neck and leans his head to rest against mine.

“Fuck,” he says, like it’s an all-encompassing statement and not a single word. “Come back to me, carro.”

He smells like rain and smoke and something dangerous I never understood until now, and it’s so intoxicating I almost lose myself. Brushing my nose against his, I breathe him in over and over, never getting used to it. “You want me?”

A nod, so small it’s almost imperceptible. But it’s there, and we both know it.

Making sure my lips brush his, I lean in and whisper, “Then beg for me.”

He goes still, tension coming to rest in the hands still gripping my nape.

See, I realized something in the five days since I last saw him.

He wants me to say that him being in the mafia doesn’t change anything, confess to lying about it in the first place, and beg him to fuck me, yet hasn’t even apologized for lying to me in the first place.

Sure, I lied, but he got us in this mess, not me.

So he gets to beg.

Azriel pulls back, and there’s such dark depths in his eyes that I shiver. “What did you just say?”

I don’t respond, because I don’t need to. We both know he heard me.

He releases me with a huff, stepping back and practically growling, “No.”

Raising an eyebrow, I challenge, “Why is it different? You want me to confess to lying about saying that what you do changes things? Fine. I confess, Azriel. I have feelings for you that, whether or not I like it, outweigh the moral part of me that tells me to run in the opposite direction.”

Despite how casually I say it, that realization almost breaks me to admit.

I realized it when he popped up in this booth, looking every bit the villain and completely making my day. Wrong or not, he makes me happy.

“You have my confession, but you know what? I want yours.”

He shakes his head, seeming to not understand, so I elaborate. “I want you to actually apologize for lying to me. I want you to admit that you put me in an impossible situation, then acted like it wasn’t a big deal. And I want you to beg for my forgiveness.”

The muscles in his jaw are clenched so hard I don’t think he can even open his mouth, but he manages to say, “That will never happen.”

Something inside my chest collapses, so suddenly and painfully I can’t hardly breathe. I hadn’t realized how much I needed it until now, how much it actually meant to me.

The fact that he won’t make that compromise for me threatens to send my emotions scattering, so I stiffen my spine and force the words out.

“Then we’re done.”

He smacks a hand against the wall of the booth but doesn’t say anything, not even as I fling open the door and flee.

I rush through the thankfully empty pews and outside, right into a downpour.

The urge to laugh rises as I become instantly soaked, my dress sticking to me and my hair flattening to my head. It isn’t funny, and would be considered normal any other time or place, but we’ve had a month of paradise without a single rainy day.

Until right now. It’s almost like the sky’s mood matches mine.

Practically running, I make my way towards the townhouse. At least it’s close, I think as I hurry. If it was far away I’d probably collapse in a side alley and just let the rain wash me away.

When I reach the door, unlocking it in a hurry, I feel someone walk up behind me. Stepping inside, I turn to see Azriel staring down at me.

Rain washes over the planes of his face, and while I probably look like a wet rat, he looks like something out of a movie.

"Why do you need this?” he asks, the anger thick in his voice.

“Why do you?”

He doesn’t make a move to come in, practically ignoring the rain as he asks in a dry tone, “You mean why do I need to hear that what I do and have done--that this fucking life I was forced into--doesn’t make me a monster?”

“Azriel-”

“Because you’re the one person in this entire goddamn world who knows me.”

I give him a look that conveys how little I believe that.

I don’t know anything about him. That’s the problem.

He shakes his head. “You know who I could’ve been, Elain.”

It’s my turn to shake my head, because I don’t understand.

He seems to make the decision of whether or not to tell me at once, saying, “Who I could’ve been if I hadn’t been born into a sadistic fucking family who beat the shit out of me for existing.”

Raw anguish lines his voice, and I stop breathing, stop thinking.

“You know who I wanted to be, who I dreamed of being, when I was in the hospital with a fractured skull or in lockup for stealing a car to run away.” He throws a hand out, yelling, “I didn’t ask for this shit! I wanted to be who I am with you. But when someone came and said they could get me out of the life I knew would kill me, I fucking said yes. And I don’t regret it.”

Tears are streaming down my face, mixing with the rain bouncing off the door. I never knew. “Azriel...”

“The day my older brother took a hammer to my hands because I scratched his CD was the last time I apologized. And I haven’t begged for anything since I was old enough to know better.”

There’s a set to his jaw, a hardness in his body I’ve never seen. “But none of this shit even matters, and it isn’t an excuse, because you’re right.”

The rain comes somehow harder, almost drowning us, but I’m rooted to this spot.

Especially as Azriel slowly lowers himself to his knees, right there on the threshold of the door.

“I’m sorry, Elain. I’m sorry I lied to you and put you in this position and acted like an ass about it. I’m so fucking sorry.”

I shake my head again, whispering, “Stop.”

I can’t bear for him to be like this after hearing what he said, can’t bear to be the reason for the strain in his voice.

He doesn’t listen. Just looks up at me with such open, deep eyes I almost choke. “Please.”

A sob escapes me as I make the decision instantly, falling to my knees and throwing myself at him.

He grunts as we collide, but I capture the sound with my mouth, seeming to take him off guard as I kiss him without abandon.

His hair is like wet silk between my fingers, and I realize the door’s still open and that rain is still getting everywhere, but I don’t care about anything but him.

His hands grip my waist, holding me steady, as I kiss him until I’m breathless, until I know he’ll believe me.

“You’re not a monster,” I tell him, pulling back to palm either side of his face. “I know you, and I know you’re not a monster.”

He leans in again, but I keep going, knowing that he needs to hear this as much as I need to say it.

“I decided before I saw you today that what you do doesn’t change things for me. I just want you.”

The knowledge of how deep we’re in this settles between us, growing into something undeniable as we stare at each other.

This time, when he kisses me again, I don’t stop him.

We fall over, him landing on top of me, and roll until we’re far enough inside that he can kick the door closed.

It’s silent besides the sound of our breathing, the rain pounding against the windows, and the deep, wet slide of our mouths coming together.

I tug at the hem of his shirt, and he pulls back long enough to rip it off. His skin’s hot compared to the cool water all over us, and I’m dizzy on the feel of him. I feel like I can’t get enough, can’t have him fast enough.

His hands are rough against me, tilting my head where he wants it, gripping my hips, putting my arms above my head.

Reaching between us, he fists the thin fabric of my dress, and then there’s a ripping sound I don’t even care to protest because now his skin’s against mine, and I don’t think anything has felt better.

A thumb on my jaw pushes my head to the side, and then his mouth is on my neck and he’s kissing me over the spot where my pulse flutters as proof of my pounding heart.

I tug his belt open, and he toes his boots off, pulling back to finish getting rid of his jeans then settling back over me.

I tilt my hips up, not able to take the wait anymore, but he has more self control, taking the time to kiss my throat, my jaw, the tip of my nose.

“Please,” I beg. “I need you. Please, Azriel.”

He’s inside me with the next breath, filling me so deeply I can’t think.

“Merda,” he curses, forehead dropping to mine. “Questa figa e stata fatta per me.”

The dirty words just make me burn hotter.

Or maybe it’s the fact that I have one of the most dangerous men in the world between my thighs, waxing poetic about sex with me.

His teeth tug on my earlobe, and I arch up into him, making him sink deeper in me.

“Dimmi- shit,” Azriel chuckles, almost like he didn’t realize he wasn’t speaking English. “Tell me if it’s too much.”

Knowing that won’t happen, I nod and open my mouth to ask him to hurry up with it.

But I never get the chance, because the next second, he’s pulling out and slamming into me so hard I slide across the floor. I don’t get far, because one arm goes under my head to grip my shoulder and the other lifts my leg to keep it in place.

And then he starts to move.

His hips hit mine hard enough to bruise, his mouth is demanding against mine, and his grip on my shoulder is unshakeable. It’s rough and restrictive and something I never knew I needed.

He’s turned me into this wanton, thoughtless thing, and all I can do is burn and burn and pray I survive.

A moan escapes me with every thrust, almost like he’s pushing them out of me, and I know I’m loud enough the sweet old lady next door will hear, but I can’t stop.

“You have to be quiet, or this’ll be over before I’m ready,” he warns in a breathy voice that makes it even harder to keep quiet.

It gets worse as he starts to repeatedly hit the spot only he’s been able to find, like he’s in perfect sync with my body.

“Fuck, Azriel,” I moan, losing my mind at how good he feels against me.

I try to fight it off, try to prolong this longer, but one of his hands slips to my throat. And as he lightly squeezes the sides, the blood rushes through me in a heady current, I come so hard I almost pass out.

Shaking beneath him, I release a loud moan he covers my mouth to stifle. When he pulls it away, I see slight indentations and realize I must’ve bit him.

I make a note to apologize later. Even if the way his eyes go almost black tells me he isn’t mad about it.

I’m almost comatose, but he isn’t even finished. He just grits his teeth, pauses to throw my leg over his shoulder, and keeps going.

My hands grip his shoulders, nails digging into his skin and trying to keep him exactly where he is, doing exactly what he’s doing.

Thunder breaks outside, but it isn’t loud enough to mask the sound of us coming together or the moans he’s no longer masking.

Despite my body being sensitized and exhaused, when he cups my cheek, kisses me softly, and says, “Come with me,” I do.

He groans, hips churning messily against mine, as release finds us both. My legs shake, squeeze his waist like a vice, then go limp.

All of me does, actually. I’m boneless and pliant and couldn’t move if I was paid to.

Azriel isn’t much better off, collapsing on top of me and suffocating me with his warm weight.

“Holy shit,” I whisper after a moment, smiling at the amused huff he lets out.

Air starts to become hard to find, so he rolls off me, then sits to lean his back against the door.

“We’re on the floor,” he says, almost like he didn’t even notice before now.

I shrug, not caring in the slightest. “I can’t move, so we’re going to have to stay here.”

He chuckles, something entirely male in his eyes as he looks at me. My cheeks grow warm as he looks at the complete mess at apex of my thighs and murmurs, “Fuck, that’s pretty.”

“You are so inappropriate,” I mumble, covering my face with my hands.

Nodding his agreement, he grips my hips and practically drags me on top of him. “You like it, though,” he teases, putting a sweet kiss to my lips.

“I do,” I admit, kissing him again.

Something brushes against my thigh, and I look down between us, then raise a brow. I knew he had stamina, but this is...

“Consider it making up for lost time.”

A laugh bubbles out of me, and he smiles, one of those full, beautiful smiles I’m helpless to resist.

I know everything’s complicated now and I know he does horrible things, but when he smiles at me like that, it’s hard to care about anything except how happy he makes me. Right or wrong, good or bad, there’s something between us I’m powerless against.

“It’s been five days,” I remind him, running my hands up his chest and into his hair. “Better get started.”

The floor. The wall. The stairs. The shower.

He gives me a tour of my own house, fucking me on every inch of available space.

I’m just as much to blame, I guess. Any time he tries to do anything besides me, I tug him back, unable to stop myself.

He’s the drug I’m happily overdosing on, and fuck, does it feel good.

When we finally end up in bed hours later, I expect to immediately pass out. He definitely looks tired, and I’m sure I’m not much better, considering the amount of... activity my body’s been through tonight.

But despite the lingering exhaustion, we lay there, just looking at each other.

There’s still so much left unsaid, so many unanswered questions and untold stories, but I don’t want to ruin the moment by talking, much less asking questions, so I stay quiet.

His lips twitch, almost like he can see what I’m thinking.

“I’ll tell you anything you want to know,” he murmurs a second later, proving that thought correct. “I won’t lie to you again.”

I nod, thinking of what I want to ask first.

I also think about the pain in his eyes earlier, when he gave me that piece of himself. I don’t ever want to be the cause of that pain, so I ask something I assume is unrelated.

“Who was the man I hit with the wine bottle?”

The corner of his lips tip up. “That was Luca. I guess you could say he’s my friend, but more officially he’s my Underboss. We worked our way up through the ranks together.”

“You’ve known him a long time then?”

He nods, propping his head up with an arm. “We were in prison together.”

Questions bloom, but I don’t want to pry, so-

“I was sentenced to three years for grand theft auto and another for assaulting the cop who booked me. Luca was in for intent to sell.”

At my blank look, he says, “Drugs, Elain.”

“Oh.” I feel stupid as hell, so I deflect by asking, “You were cellmates?”

“No,” he laughs, running a hand over his jaw thoughtfully. “But after he saved my ass from getting jumped one day, we stuck together.”

It’s quiet until I ask, “How’d you get out?”

“Well, this was in Chicago-”

My eyes grow wide as I cut him off. “You’re from Chicago? You’re American?”

He laughs at the disbelief in my voice, nodding while my brain explodes. He’d never told me, but I’d just assumed he was born in Sicily.

“Anyway, this was in Chicago. I was seventeen, but got tried as an adult because of my record with juvie. I spent two years inside, then the Capo there just showed up one day and told me he could get me out.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah,” he says, rolling on his back and looking up at the ceiling. “I remember it like it happened yesterday. He’s only three years older than me, but he was wearing a two-thousand dollar suit and had everything I didn’t. He said he needed someone to work for him, to do the shit no one wanted to.”

Sliding closer, I prop my head up with a hand. “And that was you?”

“He said he looked at my records and that I had potential.” He laughs, almost unbelieving. “I was nothing more than an angry fuckup from the south side, and he said I had potential. He said he knew who my father and brothers were and could help me get revenge. I knew it was crazy, but I said yes. On the condition Luca got out, too.”

My eyebrows go up as he says, “We were out the next day.”

“Powerful friends,” I mutter.

He toys with the ends of my hair, slight smile on his face.

“I worked in Chicago for about a year, then was sent here. He said he needed someone over here he could trust. My family’s Italian, so I knew the language, and with my baggage, I wanted out of the city anyway.” He takes a deep breath, running his hand down my arm. “So I moved here and worked my way up.”

He picks my hand up, measuring the difference between our palms.

“And now you’re Capo.”

“Mmhm.”

Tugging my hand, he pulls me closer, burying his head in my neck and inhaling.

“I have the Capo of the Sicilian Mafia in my bed,” I remark almost unbelievingly, making him laugh.

He shifts to lay down, holding me in his arms, and I marvel at how small and delicate I feel with him. My head’s against his chest, and he’s curled around me, making me sigh.

“The Capo is a snuggler,” I murmur, running my hands across the smooth expanse of his back and smiling when he makes a low sound of contentment.

“I haven’t slept the past five days,” he tells me. “I couldn’t sleep without you in my bed. You have no idea how much it pissed me off at the time.”

Laughing, I snuggle closer. He’s so big and warm, and I’m so tired.

Eyes struggling to stay open, I realize I never told him something.

“You’re forgiven,” I whisper.

I feel his lips on my brow, kissing me so gently my heart clenches. And I swear I hear him say something, but I’m soo tired to stay awake to hear it.

I fall asleep in his arms, and even though he’s dangerous and everything I should hate, it’s the most peaceful I’ve ever felt.

I’ve said the past month with him has felt like a fairy tale, and that’s true.

Maybe just not with the knight in shining armor, but with the villain instead.

______________________________________________

stole a couple lines from Danielle Lori

Part 5

@elorcan-trash @acreativelydifferentlove @loosingdreams @poisonous00 @januarystears @emikadreams @swankii-art-teacher @thedarkdemigod @full-tilt-diva @biggestwingspan-az @bookstantrash @mari-highladyof-feels @pilesofriles @teddytdr @perseusannabeth @cursebreaker29 @a-bit-of-a-cactus @elriel4life @girl-who-reads-the-books @shinya-hiiragi @bamchickawowow @live-the-fangirl-life @ireallyshouldsleeprn @highqueenofelfhame @autophobiax @rowaelinismyotp @nahthanks @ghostlyrose2 @lovemollywho @inardour @tillyrubes10 @tswaney17 @greerlunna @rowanisahunk @superspiritfestival @thegoddessofyou @awesomelena555 @booksofthemoon @jlinez @studyliketate @over300books @justgiu12 @maastrash @aesthetics-11 @b00kworm @sleeping-and-books @musicmaam @hizqueen4life @maybekindasortaace

#elriel #elriel fanfiction #elain archeron #azriel #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acotar fanfiction #a court of mist and fury #a court of thorns and roses

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nishiisenpai · 4 years

Text

you were right - ushijima wakatoshi x reader

REQUEST: “Hi! I heard you take requests, so what about Angst with Ushijima accidentally shouting at his s/o for thinking that he was right about something but actually his s/o was (you can choose about the topic, but if you need a topic, tell me) and then he is regretting it bc he never wanted to shout at his s/o who is now ignoring him and he is just apologizing so much and it makes him crazy that his s/o is ignoring him. - @janin1ushijima “

A/N: I love this man so much it is LITERALLY a blessing my friend introduced me to Haikyuu or else I wouldn’t have stumbled upon his sexy ass- anyways as we were speaking, I hope I didn’t disappoint and this was what you requested for!

WARNING: angst and angst only. fluff if you squint. {cursing will be added in}

WHO: Ushijima Wakatoshi x Reader, {Tendou! Best Friend}

part two

You were walking to Ushijima’s and Tendou’s shared dorm room to hang out with your best friend Tendou because he was bored and that Ushijima was out on his daily afternoon run that Tendou didn’t want to go to.

“Oh hey Y/N!” Tendou had greeted you at the door.

“Hey Tendou! Toshi’s not here yet, right?” You walked behind Tendou entering the boy’s dorm.

“Nope. He left me alone an hour ago and I hate him for doing so.”

“Well that’s why you got me!” You hugged your best friend after not seeing him for so long.

“Aren’t you so cute?” Tendou pinched your cheek and you shot him a disgusted face.

“Oh shut up chicken legs.”

“Hey! That’s not nice.” He grumbled and you laughed.

“Sorry, Tendou, you know I don’t mean it.” you placed a small smile.

“I know, I know, wanna play Just Dance?”

“You know it.” you shot finger guns towards him while grinning and raising your eyebrows.

“You really do be showing more emotions than Ushijima right now.”

“Hey don’t disrespect Toshi like that.” you crossed your arms huffing out air.

“Okay okay, I won’t. Now let’s play shall we?”

It’s been roughly thirty minutes of both you and Tendou dancing to Just Dance. You guys decided to sit on the couch and take a break while eating some snacks.

“Hey, Y/N,” Tendou said making you whip your head around with a gummy work dangling out of your hand.

“BAHAHAHAH YOU LOOK SO RIDICULOUS IN THIS.” as Tendou looks at his phone to the photo he took of you.

“SATORI TENDOU, YOU DELETE THAT PHOTO RIGHT NOW.” You said widening your eyes and instructing Tendou to get rid of the photo.

“Hmmm, let me think about it... Nah, I’m good.”

“TENDOU!” you said reaching for his phone and he lifted his arm.

“No way! This is blackmail against you.” and you kept reaching for the phone, pressing your body against Tendou in order to reach for it. He got up from his side of the couch and started running around the dorm room. You chased after him too with the mission to delete the horrid photo off his phone. That’s when the ruckus started.

“Oh hey Ushijima.” Tendou stood in the small living area carrying his phone close to his chest.

“Hey Tendou-”

“SATORI TENDO, GET BACK HERE, OOF-” as you fully charged into Tendou’s body and wrapped your arms onto him not knowing that your boyfriend stood at the entrance way.

“Give me your phone right now. I need to delete that picture.”

“Uhm, no? You looked so funny in it.”

“No I did not! You’re not going anywhere with that.” As you hugged Tendou tightly so that he wouldn’t be able to move.

“Y/N?” Ushijima called out to you. Your head whipped to the direction of your boyfriend and your eyes sparkled seeing him.

“Toshi!” As you unwrapped your arms around Tendou’s body and headed to Ushijima with open arms but Ushijima placed a hand out.

“Don’t come near me.” He said in his monotone voice.

“Huh? Why? Is there something wrong?” Your concerned self walked closer to him with your hands in front of you but were still relatively close to your chest

“I said, don’t come near me.”

“Babe, are you okay?”

“Yeah, dude. Are you okay?” Tendou asked from behind.

“I SAID DON’T COME NEAR ME CHEATER!” Ushijima’s voice raised and this was the first time you’ve heard him fully yell at you. Also accused you too of being a cheater. Tendou had quietly directed himself out the door so he would stop further conflictment.

“What?” That’s all you could manage to spit out shocked during this moment.

“Get away from me you cheater. I know what you did with Tendou while I was gone.” He said looking at you with dull eyes and his sharp look.

“Baby, it’s not what it looks like. You got us all wrong.”

“Oh yeah? Well explain that close interaction I just saw when I walked through the door!” He yelled.

“Toshi! I was stopping Tendou from running away so that I can delete a photo he had of me.”

“Oh so now both my girlfriend and best friend have secret pictures of each other behind my back?”

“Why are you acting like this? I’m telling you there is nothing going on between Tendou and I!” you yelled back with frustration rising up. Tears slowly welled up in your eyes.

“I knew that you were cheating on me. This explains all the close interactions you had with Tendou. I can’t believe I dated a cheater. And best friends with a bitch.” he scoffed and couldn’t look your way.

“You are absurd and so fucking dumb Wakatoshi! I just told you I was trying to delete a stupid photo of me in Tendou’s phone, but you decide to pull the “cheater” card. Are you insane? We’ve been dating for years already, and you know. YOU KNOW, that Tendou is my best friend. So don’t pull this shit on me.” tears slid down your cheeks.

“Also how can you say that about your best friend Tendou like that! You guys are buddies and not once have I tried making a move on him. You wanna know why? Because I don’t date people for their best friend. I date them for them and not to hook with their friends on the side. Tendou’s my best friend! He’s your best friend too! Sure I love him, but not in the way that I do to you!” you screamed at him.

“GOD YOU’RE SO FUCKING ANNOYING. JUST ADMIT YOU’RE A CHEATER AND LEAVE!” Ushijima yelled out at you and your eyes widened as the tears flowed down your cheeks.

“Ahhh, I see... I’m a cheater, huh?” you said giving him a bitter chuckle before going to the couch to grab your bag and taking off Ushijima’s hoodie you had worn coming here.

“Wait, no- Y/N, I didn’t mean that.” Ushijima’s eyes widened as he walked closer to you realizing what he said to you. You turned around bitterly chuckling wiping away a tear coming from your eyes.

“No you’re right, I should leave. You said that a cheater like me should leave. That’s what I’m going to do.” As you walked to the entrance to put on your shoes and grabbed the door handle. Ushijima hurriedly walked over to you.

“Y/N, listen, I-I-I was wrong. It just slipped and I’m so sorry. Please stay, I don’t know what I’d do without you and I was wrong.” he pleaded for you to stay.

“Goodbye, Ushijima Wakatoshi. I hope you take this time between us and relish on it before coming back to your senses.” You turned to face him with a sad smile as tears welled down your face. You went on your tippy toes placing your hands on both sides of his face before giving him a small kiss on the forehead.

Ushijima had closed his eyes savouring the gentle feeling of your lips on his forehead as he let out the pent up tears in his eyes.

“Please don’t go.” As he looked at you with a raw expression he’s hasn’t shown you before.

“Goodbye.” you grabbed the door handle and left Ushijima in his dorm sitting, facing the door to where he lost you.

“Hey Y/N... It’s been five days since I heard your pretty voice or even got a response from you. I’m so sorry for what happened previously. I didn’t mean to say that or even shout at you and I was just so jealous and frustrated. If you can just text me back or call me, or say anything it would be amazing. From Toshi.”

“Hey Y/N, it’s been a full week and you’re ignoring me. I get it... I know what I did was absolute shit and I don’t know how to make it up to you... God I am so fucking stupid for blaming you and Tendou. I’m so sorry that I had to let my jealousy get to me. You were right. Tendou showed me the photo of you and my fucking god do I miss you, your pretty face, kisses, hugs, laugh... Please come back to me. I miss you and I’m sorry again for causing you so much pain. From Toshi.”

“Hey baby, it’s been three weeks since I last heard from you. I am so crazy about you. Every morning I wake up in sweat knowing you’re not with me in my bed cuddling or sending me your daily morning text messages, or asking about how my day was. I miss the way your smile would light up the room and make me feel better after a shit practice with the boys. I miss the way your cheeks turn into a shade of pink when your blushing or flustered. Gosh you’re so fucking cute and I just want to hug you to death. Not literally, but you know what I mean... I miss the way you bring food for the boys during practice and the way you wear my hoodies and how they are always bigger on you. I just love and miss seeing you or hearing you everyday. I am so sorry that I was a pain in the ass and I can’t stand not having you back into my life. So how about I make it up to you with dinner tonight, at eight pm, my place and I’ll kick out Tendou and make you your favourite? Love Toshi.”

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knockknockchicagopd · 3 years

Text

❛ A PSYCHO? ❜

❚❙ REQUEST BY ANON: Headcanon 8 with Will please.

❚❙ Headcanon: Secret admirer.

❚❙ WILL HALSTEAD MASTERLIST.

❚❙ WORDS: about 1k

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place, or something that makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted.

❚❙ GIF credits: to the author.

❚❙ Tag list: @melblacc @rebelwrites @skyofficialxx @sesamepancakes @scarletsoldierrr @mondefantastique @that-chick212 @enbyamaro @inlovewith3 @ocetevasgirl @destynelseclipsa @jadakiss13 @mcgreads @graniairish @teller258316. If you want to be added to my tag list, send me a message.

At first, when you receive a bouquet, you don't give it as much importance as Maggie and April do, thinking that maybe they're from a grateful patient.

Until you realize that it's a coincidence that, whoever sent them, chose sunflowers. Not many people know they're your favorites and that's when curiosity invades you.

You can't help but fixate on every man in the hospital. Mainly in your friends, the ones who maybe have heard you talking about small details like the fact that you love sunflowers.

In your free time, you write a list of names.

You need to know it. Not everybody makes a gift like this in these kinds of times.

But after a couple of days without any sign else, you start to find random sticky notes in your office, your locker, even on the windshield of your car.

And they all know what to say to make you feel better.

If it has been a bad day, you find one saying ‘everything is gonna be okay’ or ‘I've missed your smile today’.

If it has been a good day, the ones you find are the type of ‘you did an amazing job today’, ‘you're the best nurse I know’, ‘people should learn from you’.

You talk about it with your friends every day.

Even Sharon asks you if you have found another one at the end of your shift.

Everybody looks excited about your secret admirer.

But you aren't able to discover who he is.

And you really want to know it. Not only because of curiosity but because you want to thank him for brightening up your days. Mostly, the darkest ones.

He has earned all your attention. You can't stop commenting about it being the main topic of talks in Molly's.

You don't care about Connor saying that he must be a coward for not revealing his identity; or about Ethan saying that he must be too ugly.

You don't care about his appearance, that's for real. A man who worries about you, about not seeing you smile; a man who praises your hard work deserves your interest.

Natalie and Sarah have helped you try to discover him, after a month.

And no one of you will admit that maybe you tried to bribe the security guys to watch the hospital footage. Not even that you made Atwater try to investigate the flower shop.

But when a young patient brings you a Snickers to the library with a sticky note on it saying ‘you're close, I just hope you don't hate me when you discover who I am’, your list of names comes down to three. And two don't have sense.

Being aware that he is watching you right now, reading it, you pretend to continue studying for your next exam.

Until he leaves the library.

Secret Admirer reunion.

You can't believe who has been doing it all this time. Your friends either.

Sharon, Maggie, April, Natalie, and Sarah are on the edge of their nerves waiting for you to say the name out loud.

Will.

“Will? Halstead?” They all ask in unison. “How do you know it?”

“He's the one who never says anything about my secret admirer. And he was trying to not look like he was very focused on seeing my reaction with the last note”.

“Didn't know Halstead could be this romantic… He's more like an asshole with girls”. April is more surprised than anyone there.

“So, which is the next step?”

The crazy ideas go from implicating his brother to a home invasion to prepare him a date. But everything sounds too illegal.

At this point, Daniel joins your prank.

Oh, God bless Doctor Charles.

He knows exactly how to make Will confess.

At Molly's.

Surrounded by all your colleagues from the hospital.

“I'm tired of that guy. Seriously, if he likes me, why just don't… say it? I mean, what's the point of staying in the shadow?”

“Do you know secret admirers are considered psychopaths?”

The laughs fill up the bar.

“Explain that, Doctor Charles”. You are choking on your beer, not expecting it.

“The difference between a secret admirer and a stalker is the fact that a stalker feels an obsession for his target. But they share more similarities than people actually know. Without keeping in mind that a rejected secret admirer can turn into a stalker or, even, into a killer”.

“A killer?”

“Exactly. By rejecting him, you hurt his ego, his manhood. The feeling of not being good enough, of being insufficient for his beloved, can develop killer instincts”.

“If I can't have you, nobody will”. Wise words from Sharon.

“Should I talk to… Dawson or Voight?” You whisper pretending to be scared and confused, seeing Daniel nodding with his lips pressed against the edge of his glass of whisky. “Okay… I'm gonna text Antonio before this gets ou—”.

“I'm not a serial killer!”

FINALLY.

Everybody at the table looks at Will and the gesture of confusion is installed on his face.

Then, he realizes what is going on.

It was a trap.

And it worked to perfection.

“C'mon! Why didn't you simply ask me?”

“'Cause it wouldn't have been fun, Halstead!”

“You all are a bunch of traitors”. Will points at all your friends, who break in laughs. “And you… Doctor Charles… You should know I'm pretty far from being a psycho”.

“I do”.

“Okay, we're leaving you alone”. April giggles palming Will's back, before turning towards you. “Just in case, keep your phone close”.

You have never seen him blushing till his cheeks have the same color as his hair. And he looks really cute.

You can't stop smiling.

And he can't look you in your face.

“So… are you gonna ask me for a date or…?”

“You want?”

“Of course I want, idiot. Been waiting for it for a long month. So don't you dare to tell me you don't wanna go on a date”.

#lemme know what you think in a comment! ⚡#one chicago #will halstead #will halstead x reader #chicago med #chicago med x reader #chicago med imagine

269 notes · View notes

generalfoolish · 3 years

Text

Mayhem Times Infinity

Part Two: Multiverse Mayhem

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x fem!reader (enemies reluctant co-workers to lovers)

Rating: 18+

Warnings: cw mentions of death, gore, trauma; the snap, violence, comic mischief, language

Word Count: 4k

Summary: The duo finds out what odds they're up against, but Loki has other plans.

A/N: Hey babes! I couldn't help but put in the work ASAP on this one. Gotta chase that hyper-fixation high. I'm ready to move into the "will they" part of this story! Sorry, for that slow burn, guys. Also, this doesn't necessarily join up at all with the series, but I threw a little nod in there, a little Professor Loki at the end. Enjoy 💕

Masterlist | Part One | Part Three

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged :)

“So, to summarize,” Loki drawled. “This is Earth-616, and it’s in danger.” Doctor Strange groaned, but nodded. Four hours. You had been listening to Doctor Strange for four hours. He had detailed the Multiverses, interdimensional travel, sling rings, all-powerful creatures more heinous than Thanos, and the ultimate demise of Earth-616--your Earth, your universe--and all Loki could do was joke.

You were reeling. Sure, you had considered the idea of other dimensions. You gulped as you tried to wrap your head around the gravity of the situation. There was a Multiverse jumper, Strange had given you all the information he could about the existence of multiverses and the area the villain was from, but couldn’t be more specific.

“Sure, in short. Now, listen, we don’t know who exactly is doing this. It would seem they’re working for Kang or Gah Lak Tus, but we aren’t certain of anything. We’re sending you for reconnaissance. Find out anything you can.”

“Yes, but why us? Why not the Guardians with Thor?” You asked. The tea in your hands too cold to enjoy, but you took a small sip anyway. You pulled a small face, and lowered the small cup again.

“They’re busy.” Strange told you without preamble.

“Well, so are we. He was just resurrected, and I’m technically homeless right now.” You argued, lifting the cup again, and taking another sip. The now pleasantly warm liquid tasted much better than it had even when you poured it. You raised an eyebrow at Loki, wondering if it was his magic, but he was looking at Strange, a small smirk on his lips.

“Then it should be less of a discussion. You’ll need to travel light, and neither of you are otherwise entangled. Now, do you recall our conversation of sling rings?” You nodded, and yelped when a thick bar ring appeared on your hand.

“I just focus?”

“Yes, visualize, focus and see the destination. Look beyond what you see. You know how to do that. This is the only way you’ll be able to travel through the multiverse, and I only have the one. You’ll have to travel together.”

“Okay. What about the Negative Zone?” You asked, your hand weighed down by the new accessory. The physical weight was negligible, but the mental weight left you straining.

“Start there. Remember Earth-616 is yours. Though it is unlikely anyone will refer to them as their numerical filing. What’s your job?” Strange asked, and you huffed, annoyed.

“Gather intel. We can handle it.” You snapped, and he lifted his hand.

Suddenly, a golden ring appeared before you, and on the other side an empty field.

“Go on, then.” Strange challenged, and you shot him a look, but walked through the portal.

You felt the portal close behind you, the energy rippling shut.

“That was strange.” Loki murmured, smoothing his leather jacket down. Without thinking, without pause, you replied.

“Doctor Strange.”

“That is not a good joke, darling.” Your eyebrows shot up.

“First, it definitely is. Second, ‘darling,’?” You asked.

“I told you, I refuse to call you ‘Stone,’ and you haven’t supplied anything else.” Loki argued, and began walking through the field. The grass, untouched, reached far up his long legs engulfing his waist, and you tried to pull your attention away from how he looked surrounded by the golden strands.

Celestial. God-like, you thought as you failed.

“Well, perhaps we should focus on the mission instead.” You cleared your throat as you walked to him. You tried to ignore how you had to incline your head to see him, failing again as you took in the height difference.

“Yes. I was thinking, we should perhaps change our clothes to fit in.” Loki mused, and you nodded.

“Good idea. Where are we?” You asked. It looked...vaguely Earth-like.

“How should I know? Aren’t you the one blessed with infinite knowledge?” He grumbled. You rubbed your palm down your face, and tried to perceive your location.

“I got nothing, Mayhem.” You mused, and began walking again.

“Casual linens, then?” Loki inquired, a ghost of a smile on his lips. You shrugged, and before you had relaxed your shoulders back down, you were draped in a dark green gown. You rolled your eyes at Loki’s shit-eating grin.

“Subtle.” You told him, gesturing down. He held his hands out in a shrug, and you laughed. He had matched his own ‘casual’ clothes in the same deep shade of green. You expected another jab, but instead he started walking away from you, and didn't break pace to see if you were coming. You jogged to catch him.

"Where are you going?" You asked, slightly out of breath. You were only just realizing how much taller he was than you. His long legs had carried him swiftly away from you in no time.

"Anywhere I please." He told you, barely looking down, but you could see his lips lifted in a smirk all the same.

"What do you mean?" You asked, looking around, wondering what destination he meant.

"Norns, woman, are you daft? I'm leaving. I'm free, finally. A better question for you would be: where are you going? Hmm? All that time on Midgard, now you're in space, darling. Where are you going to go?" He had broken stride to sneer down at you. You tried to hide your obvious shock at the sudden turn of emotion.

"To find the threat against our Galaxy. Why wouldn't you want to do the same?" You asked, malice lacing your tone. Here he was, wearing his true colors finally. The treacherous Loki, the one you'd been told about, the one you should've heeded the warnings about.

His nose crinkled in disgust, and you felt the vision coming before it hit. You'd seen this one a few times already, but nothing prepared you for it. You gasped for air as you felt Loki's throat being constricted, and winced when you felt the crunch of his neck.

His smug look told you he'd made that happen.

"I have a few reasons." He told you, his voice quiet and dangerous.

"We were chosen for a reason, Loki." You tried, grasping for any shred of logic that might convince him to stay. Treacherous or not, he had much more experience in space than you.

"Yes, we were. Isn't it obvious to you, yet? We were sent here to die." He held his arms out and gestured around at the field.

"What do you mean? It's just recon." You replied, noting his wingspan, the subtle way his lithe muscles pulled taut the fabric of his shirt.

"Oh yes, truly the omnipotent Dr. Strange would send a known liar and the newest avenger to stop a doom to the universe." He rolled his eyes and began walking away from you. You watched his hands trail lightly over the blades of grass, and knew he was right. You hated him for it, but he was. You had been pushing those feelings down since you had first found yourself in space looking at Loki. If this truly had the gravity Dr. Strange said it had, why wasn't he here? Or anyone of the other space faring avengers, or the guardians? Why were you sent here with Loki of all people?

You followed behind him, the grass reaching much higher on you, and contemplated your choices. You had the sling rings, so the options were endless. Yet, you kept coming back to the same one: do the job. Every fiber of your being told you Loki was right, but a small voice in the back of your mind told you he could be wrong. And it was enough.

You glanced up at your companion, his black hair curling at the edges of his collar, his back straight and proud, his shoulders broad and capable. He could handle himself in a fight, this much you knew. He'd be an asset. How would you convince him to stay? Trick him? Trick the God of Mischief? Surely you weren't dumb enough to try.

You threw your head back and looked at the sky. You knew you were. You knew you had to. You needed his help, but more than that, you actually wanted it. He was charming, after all.

"So, where exactly are you going, then?" You asked, breaking the steady silence. You watched his stride falter for a second as he turned to look at you.

"To the town." He told you, confidently.

"So, you do know where we are?"

"No."

"Then how would you know?" You challenged him.

"There'll be a town, eventually." He told you, clearly agitated at your questions.

"Sorry, just working out a few things." You told him, keeping your gaze averted. His eyes narrowed in suspicion.

You kept your face passive as the wave of wariness washed over you. You had thrown your plan together in about three seconds, but already it was going perfectly.

Step one: make Loki suspicious. It was easy to do. He had no real reason to trust you. Plus, he had to be expecting it anyway.

It led to the rest of your plan. He’d “uncover” your deceit, and you’d go along acting caught in a lie. Then, you’d gain his trust for real. Finally, you trick him into actually helping you do some reconnaissance for Strange.

Easy peasy.

Now, just to find this town.

I’ll be damned.” You muttered when you first saw it. A light cascading in the sky, not the stars that littered it currently, but a new one. A man made, or alien made, one.

“Aha!” Loki called, looking at you expectantly.

“You did it!” You laughed, peering through the trees that stood between you and the source. Failing that, you reached out with your mind. No one was lingering about, so you focused on Loki. It was a mixture of joy and trepidation. It was all bitter endings.

He was planning a betrayal of his own, of course. What you couldn’t piece together is why he was feeling hesitant to do it. Clearly, he had worked out a way to get off-world.

“Perhaps we should make camp here.” He suggested, turning his steady gaze to you. You looked around, considering it. More open than the forest, but that could be helpful in a fight. Unlikely anyone would be able to sneak up on either of you. Especially if you took turns sleeping. But, didn’t you just feel his looming betrayal? Should you risk it so soon? You needed sleep. Would he leave you alone, asleep, in a field on an alien planet? Surely not. But could you trust it? Did you trust him?

“Okay, Mayhem. I’ll grab some firewood.” You told him, starting to head to the edge of the woods. He chuckled, and you heard the whoosh of a flame. You turned and your mouth fell open. He had conjured an entire campsite. The fire was contained within a stone structure, there was a clearing to sit, he’d even managed a few blankets.

"Surely this will suffice." He teased, a grin ghosting on his lips. You nodded, lamely, and grabbed a blanket.

"Can you be troubled with dinner?" You joked, and he raised an eyebrow at you.

"What do you want?" He asked, settling down onto the ground, long legs stretched before him.

"Oh I don't know, what's your favorite thing?" You mused, snuggling under the thick material. It was softer than cotton or wool, warm but not hot, heavy enough to provide weight without being unbearable. You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling against your skin, and nearly dozed. He startled you when he began speaking.

"The perfect night-meal is a sampling of delicacies. But the most exquisite taste is fresh champagne from the springs on Alfheim. Poured lazily by the Pleasure Elves, of course." You laughed.

"Pleasure Elves and champagne springs, what the hell are we still doing here?" He chuckled and adjusted the blanket around his shoulders, before looking at you seriously.

"I will show you Alfheim, if you wish." You resisted shuddering under his intense gaze. You could barely meet his eyes, a deep, dark green that rivaled the evening forest.

"I'd like that, someday. For now, dinner. Can you do...pizza?" You asked, smiling broadly. He frowned, clearly disgusted.

"I could, but I would not. Is that truly what you crave? Greasy, unimaginative mortal food?" You shrugged. "Very well." With a flick of his wrist, he brought forth two wrapped sandwiches. Curious, you pulled the wrapper off and smiled happily.

"A cheeseburger! How is that better than pizza?" You asked, laughing and taking a bite. You watched him peel the wrapper with grace, only touching the burger with his fingertips.

"I'm not sure. Thor described them much better than they appear." He seemed vaguely disgusted.

"We could have had alien food." You told him, laughing at his discomfort. He rolled his eyes at you.

"Technically, darling, you're the alien here." His matter-of-fact tone wrecked your mood. The way he said "darling" was more like an insult. How could he conjure burgers and then ruin the moment so seamlessly.

You didn't respond, just silently tucked into your sandwich. You still needed to work out how you were going to break his trust anyway. It couldn't be too clever, you thought. Just clever enough that it seemed like it would work, but not clever enough that he would suspect another attempt.

You were so lost in thought that you didn't see the way he studied you, mapping your face, reveling in how the starlight splayed shadows on you. He had put you in green as a joke, but lounging fireside under the thick blanket, you looked at home in the deep shade of mid-summer forest green.

You finished the burger and tossed the wrapper remains into the fire. You turned to find Loki already looking at you, he lifted a corner of his mouth but remained silent.

"I'll take first watch." You told him, hiding a yawn behind your hand. He waved you off with a flick of his wrist.

"Sleep. I'll watch over you." He watched you as he spoke, and you felt his dark eyes on you as you snuggled your way into the blanket nest. The fatigue from the battle with Thanos, and the rush of adrenaline from finding Loki and talking with Dr. Strange, and the long walk through the field came crashing into you all at once. Your eyes closed of their own Accord, and your limbs followed soon after tingling with sleep.

"G'night, Mayhem." You mumbled, your mouth and brain mostly asleep. You were drifting off, even as you said it, but you heard his response.

"Good night, darling." You smiled as you fell further asleep, his tone softer than it had been.

As sleep began to take you under, quieter than before, you heard Loki mumble to himself.

"Damn. She's adorable." When you awoke, you wouldn't remember, as it were, you barely heard it at all. Proof, you thought dreamily. It was proof, that Loki wasn't all bad.

You blinked hard against the morning light and groaned as you rolled over. You remembered where you were quickly, the hard ground your first clue. The event of the previous day hit you at once, and you sat up quickly, scanning for Loki. You started to panic, he had slipped off during the night, and now you were alone on an unfamiliar world.

“Shit.” You cursed, rising to your feet.

“What?” You whirled on the voice and sighed deeply when you saw the God of Mischief staring back at you.

“I...thought you left.” You admitted, stretching your back out. His smile faltered a bit.

“I did not. I found breakfast.” He told you, tossing you something that looked like an apple. You smiled sheepishly.

“You didn’t wake me.” You said, and he merely shrugged. “You haven’t slept.” You continued, unsatisfied with his nonchalance.

“I was dead yesterday, darling. I think I can manage without one night’s rest.” You winced at his nickname for you. It dripped with venom and mistrust.

“Don’t act offended, Mayhem. Betrayal is literally your middle name.”

“What do you know of betrayal? Hmm?”

“Plenty. You may have cornered the market, but you didn’t trademark it.”

“I would not simply slink away in the dead of night. I am Loki, prince of Asgard, the rightful king of Jotunheim, and the God of Mischief, and I do not lurk in the shadows. My betrayal would be right in front of you, rest assured.” You scoffed, as you watched him pontificate.

“What do your titles get you here?” You asked and smiled in triumph when his face fell. You turned the fruit over in your hand, and looked back at him. “I’m sorry I thought you left, thanks for the fruit.” You mumbled, guilt already eating away at you. Why did his crestfallen face split you in two so quickly? You bit into the apple, and winced right away. It definitely wasn’t an apple. The texture was similar to a kiwi, but the flavor was unlike anything you’d ever had.

“It’s a local fruit, not one I’m familiar with.” He explained, his voice tight. “It isn’t dangerous.” You furrowed your brow to object, but he held his hands up. “I had one already to test it.”

“Thank you, Mayhem.” You told him, genuinely thankful. He waved the campsite away, and the two of you began your trek through the dense forest. The dark green clothes helped camouflage you as you picked your way through the vegetation, and while you knew he had done it to get a rise out of you, you were thankful to be out of the clingy spandex uniform you normally wore.

You had been training with Nat when the first power surge flowed through your fingertips, and the blast produced was golden. Nat must have alerted Tony, because within the hour you had a brand new, golden suit. You looked like an asshole, flying around in a shimmery gold suit, but no one would change it. Friday had told you to “Fuck off,” and that was the end of it. You’d become the Golden Avenger in the news, but everyone called you stone. It was a horrible joke, born out of horrible circumstances. You looked like a walking gauntlet, and you were treated that way too.

You focused harder on the ground, stepping around massive root systems, and avoiding areas where the ground had sunk into itself. Loki was right. You hated that you were thinking about it now. No one had truly accepted you as an avenger, except Nat. It was hard for them, you understood. The thing that gave you power was the same event that had destroyed them. But, it isn’t like you wanted it. You hadn’t asked Thanos to do this, you didn’t have control over the events that led to your origin. Yet, the first chance they got, they sent you away. You were the outlier, you were the uncertainty, and you were safer kept at arm's distance. Why else send you on an obvious goose chase with a wanted intergalactic villain?

You glanced at your traveling companion, and found him deep in thought as well. His brow was creased, and his mouth was set. He looked handsome, bathed in the filtered sunlight and the flecks of gold illuminated his dark features. He flicked his eyes at you, and relaxed his mouth into a small smile.

“Shouldn’t be long now.” He told you quietly, and you found yourself wondering what he was thinking about. His double-cross to you? You needed to hammer your own plan together, but it could wait, you thought. You didn’t want to think too hard about it.

“Good, it’ll be nice to get a real seat,” You laughed and he smirked at you. “Is Alfheim your favorite place?” You asked, thinking about the pleasure elves, you could see the appeal. He cocked his head to the side, a ghost of a real smile playing on his lips.

“No, Asgard was my favorite place.” He murmured, and you wanted to disappear. Of course, his world was just destroyed, what a dumb question.

“Sorry Mayhem, I didn’t think…” Your apology died on your tongue, as he began chuckling.

“Don’t fret, darling. I’m not that fragile.” He teased. Your heart was firmly lodged in your throat, stuck from embarrassment, but remaining still as you realized he had softened your nickname. No longer did your skin crawl, instead, a warmth spread through your chest. His soft tone had rendered you speechless, dumbfounded, but you hoped he wouldn’t notice. What could you say? I was embarrassed at having brought up a potentially sensitive subject, and then you called me a flirty name and now my tongue is heavy. Why would it even matter? You were going to betray him, and then he would betray you. It was what your master plan was hinged on. Who cared if he was soft and pretty?

“Truly, it is not an issue.” He continued, confused, searching your face.

“Tell me about it?” You managed to squeak out, and you caught the look he gave you, the look of skepticism.

“It was a Golden City, built up in the mountains, and the rainbow bridge connected it to the bifrost. It was devastatingly beautiful. That was only the Palace, though. The forests around the city were as cruel as they were beautiful. It truly was a world fit for gods.” He looked wistful, and you pretended not to see the tears welling up. “Where is your favorite place?” He asked abruptly, and you smiled happily.

“You remember that place I took you yesterday, when I plucked you from the debris in space?” You asked, waiting for an answer. When he nodded, you continued. “It was my attempt at freedom. I had just broken up with a man who controlled me, and well, it was a little crappy, but it was mine, y’know? I had just gotten back in touch with my family who I had been cut off from, and it was so right. I was only there for a few months before Thanos’ attack.” You told him, fiddling with your sleeve, swallowing hard. “It was the first taste of happiness I had, and then it was taken from me just as suddenly as I had gotten it.” You wiped your eyes and cleared your throat.

“I know a great deal about that, darling.” He reassured you, and you were surprised to feel the pressure of his hand on your back. You gave him a tight small, and felt the smallest tendrils of affection reaching out to you. You widened your smile and turned to the forest before you.

“What’s your favorite power, then?” You asked, falling in step beside him. He laughed.

“Power?” He asked, and you rolled your eyes.

“Yes, your powers?” You wiggled your fingers, knowing he’d never done anything like that.

“It’s magic, darling.” He rolled his eyes at you, but you could tell it was playful.

“Whatever, your magic. What’s your favorite spell?” He chuckled at you.

“Duplication-casting, then.” You raised an eyebrow.

“What’s that? Conjuring?”

“They’re two completely different powers.” He explained with a long, suffering sigh.

“So, they are “powers” now?” You asked, laughing.

“Norns, you are so aggravating.” He huffed.

“Well, why duplication-casting? Why not the poison one?” You asked. He raised an eyebrow.

“What poison one?” He asked, looking confused.

“You can have poison without it hurting you.” You told him plainly.

“No, I cannot.” He was genuinely confused at this point, and you held your hands up.

“But you tested the fruit for me.” You told him, confused. He blinked slowly at you, and your face fell in realization. He had been protecting you. And immediately you treated him like a monster.

“Mayhem, I’m…” He fixed his lips into a small line. You were trying to form an apology, clearly you were the one deserving the monster treatment. You had actively plotted against him since you had landed, and he had done nothing but try to make you comfortable. He raised a finger to his lips, his face hard. You heard it then, the crunching of leaves and splintering of sticks underfoot. You were no longer alone with the God of Mischief.

41 notes · View notes

massivedrickhead · 4 years

Note

Could you write a one shot where Beca got hurt jumping off the boat in pp3? Maybe shot?

I’m not gonna have her get shot because I don’t wanna get too serious.

Hope you enjoy anyway!

Read on AO3

Beca was falling.

The water below lit up by the explosion behind her.

Her ears ringing from the sound of it.

Time seemed to slow as she fell. She had time to see Fat Amy hit the end of the boat they’d used to get here, and send the other end into air.

And then she collided with it.

She felt the sharp smack of pain for a second before she was swallowed by the cold black water.

And then an even more intense pain exploded in her shoulder as someone grabbed her arm and pulled her to the surface.

As her head broke the water, she could hear the voices if the Bellas calling to her but they sounded far away.

Someone was gripping her tightly, trying to keep her head above water, but the pain was becoming unbearable now.

“Please,” she said, her eyes squeezed shut. “Let me go. It hurts, let me go.”

“I’m not letting go,” Chloe’s voice said in her ear. Her voice was shaking. Trembling. But so fierce and determined that Beca stopped struggling. “I’m not losing you.”

And then the pain reached it’s peak, and Beca got swallowed by the darkness.

When she came to, she could feel something vibrating beneath her, and someone was pressing a cold hand to her face.

“Beca?”

“Am I dead?” Beca asked, opening her eyes to see Chloe kneeling beside her, her eyes wide with concern. Chicago was beside Chloe, trying keep her blanket on her shoulders, but Chloe only had eyes for Beca.

“No,” Chloe said, half laughing, half crying as she helped Beca sit up. “No you’re not dead.”

“Did everyone get out?” Beca asked, wiping a stream of water out of her eyes.

"Yeah,” Chloe said. “Everyone’s fine. They’re all on the other boats.”

“And you’re okay?”

“I’m okay,” Chloe said. “Cold and wet, but I’m okay. Better now that you’re awake.”

“Good,” Beca said, wiping the water away again. It kept dripping in front of her eyes and obscuring her vision. She wiped at it a bit harder and felt pain race across her forehead.

“Hey,” Chloe said, holding Beca’s wrist, to stop her from touching her head again. “You’ll make it worse.”

Beca looked down and saw it was blood and not water that coated her hand.

“Oh,” Beca said, feeling suddenly much colder. She didn’t like blood, yet she couldn’t seem to look away from it.

“Look at me,” Chloe said, softly. “I don’t want you passing out again.”

Beca tore her eyes away from her blood covered hand to focus on Chloe.

“You saved us,” Chloe said. “You and Amy saved us.”

“Of course we did,” Beca said.

They sat without speaking for a while, the noise of the boats the only sound they could hear.

At one point, Beca let her head drop onto Chloe’s shoulder.

“You’re gonna get blood on me,” Chloe said, kissing the top of Beca’s head.

“Sorry,” Beca said, laughing softly. “I’m tired. And you’re comfy.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Chloe said, trying to push away the worry in her stomach.

“That shit was crazy right? We jumped off a boat as it was exploding. Like… What the fuck man?”

Chloe laughed. “I know. That’s action movie shit. How are you doing?”

“Not… Not great.”

“What hurts?”

“My shoulder and my head,” Beca said. “And my ribs. And I kinda feel sick. And dizzy. Really dizzy. So, you know, I’ve had better days.”

Chloe turned to look at Chicago for the first time since Beca had been pulled onto the boat.

“How much longer?” She asked.

“Not long,” Chicago said. “There should be ambulances waiting.”

“Ambulances?” Beca asked. “Plural?”

“Amy got hurt too when she hit that boat,” Chloe said, turning to look back at Beca. Her stomach flipped as she saw how much paler she’d gotten. “She’s fine though. She looked in better shape than you.”

“Okay,” Beca said. She moved her head from Chloe’s shoulder and leant forward, feeling the sickness and dizziness rise with each rise and fall the boat made along the waves. “I don’t feel good. I hate boats. I’m never getting on another boat after this.”

“You’re okay,” Chloe said, running her hand up and down Beca’s back. “We’re almost there.”

As the boat started slowing, the rocking of the ship against the waves was getting worse as they approached the shore.

“Oh my god,” Beca mumbled. “I’m seriously gonna throw up. I swear I never get seasick.”

“I don’t think you’re seasick, Bec, I think you have a concussion,” Chloe said.

“Ah,” Beca said. “Yeah. Yeah that makes more sense.”

“Beca, do you think you can walk?” Chicago asked.

“Ah ha,” Beca said, grimacing in pain.

“Okay,” Chicago said. “Me and the guys are gonna help you down from the boat now. We can’t really get these boats close enough so you’ll have to walk through a bit of the sea. It’s really shallow but the current is a bit strong, so don’t let it catch you off guard or you might fall, and that’ll be really embarrassing for you.”

Beca laughed and then winced again.

Chicago climbed over the side of the boat, and another soldier eased Beca over the side and into his arms.

She had to stop herself from screaming when his hands held her ribs.

“You good?” He asked, setting her on her feet.

Beca nodded, biting down on her lip, waiting for the pain to ease off again. “Where’s Chloe?”

“They’re getting her down now,” he said, steadying her as small wave caused her to stumble.

“Thank you. For coming to get us. You’re a good dude, Chicago,” Beca said, holding his forearm so she didn’t fall. “I can see why Chloe likes you.”

“Is that you giving me your blessing?” Chicago asked, smiling as he waited to help Chloe down off the boat.

“Sure,” Beca said, ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach.

But she wanted Chloe to be happy. Being with Chicago would probably make her happy.

“She doesn’t like me, Beca,” Chicago said, a sad smile on his face. “I’ve seen the way she looks at you. She doesn’t like me.”

And then he was helping Chloe down from the boat, and she was beside her again, eyes full of worry as they looked her over.

Chicago pointed out where the ambulance was waiting, along with the some of other Bellas who had made their way off their boats and out of the sea.

“You’ll come with me, right?” Beca asked, as Chloe took hold of uninjured arm to help her walk out of the sea and up to the beach. “I don’t want to do this alone.”

“Of course. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Everything hurts, Chlo’,” Beca said, feeling another wave of nausea wash over her as more blood dripped down her face.

“I know. But look, we’re almost there.”

Chloe’s voice was sounding far away again. She could see people running towards them, but couldn’t make out who they were.

“Beca?”

She hadn’t realised she’d stopped walking, but now Chloe was turning to look at her, her eyes full of concern again.

And then Beca's legs gave out, and she fell forward into the sand.

And then she was in a warm and comfortable bed. The pain and nausea was gone, and she felt like she’d be able to drift off to sleep again if she wanted. Someone was holding tightly onto her hand.

She heard a door open and close followed by a chair scraping, but she made no move to open her eyes. She was just too relaxed and comfortable.

In the back of her mind, she knew that pain was there. She knew there’d be a lot of it later. Like when you drink a lot and you know a hangover is coming. But for now she was pain free.

“How’s Amy?” Chloe asked. Her voice sounded tired and it cracked when she spoke

“Fine,” Aubrey replied. “She broke her arm but they said she doesn’t need surgery or anything.”

“Thank god,” Chloe said. “She hit that boat pretty hard.”

“Not as hard as Beca,” Aubrey said. “How is she?”

“Um, I don’t know really,” Chloe said. “We were talking on the boat and she was hurt but she seemed okay. And then… I don’t know.”

“What did the doctors say?”

“She dislocated her shoulder, bruised her ribs, and hit her head pretty bad,” Chloe said.

Beca was trying to follow along with the conversation happening in the room, but the words were hard to hold onto. She couldn’t quite make sense of them, so she gave up and just let them wash over her, and she drifted back off to sleep.

“What if she doesn’t wake up?” Chloe asked, her voice breaking again.

“She will,” Aubrey said. “She’ll be okay.”

“I love her, ‘Bree.”

“I know you do,” Aubrey said, sighing softly. “So when she wakes up, you should tell her.”

“Yeah,” Chloe said. “We all could have died tonight. If Amy and Beca hadn’t come for us, we could have died. I don’t want to wait anymore. I don’t want to waste anymore time.”

They sat in silence for a few more minutes.

“So apparently Amy beat up like 10 fully grown men on that boat. I gotta say, I thought every story she’d ever told had been BS until now. Do you think she’s actually wrestled crocodiles?”

Beca woke up for real a few hours later.

Chloe was sleeping in the chair beside her bed, and Beca couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her.

She was sore and tired, but she knew morphine was still taking the edge off, and that she’d feel real pain again later.

She was trying to make sense of the dream she’d been having, which had just been about Aubrey and Chloe talking, when Chloe stirred beside her.

“Hey,” Beca said, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

Chloe smiled when she saw she was awake. “Hey,” she said, her voice just as rough as Chloe’s. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry,” Beca said, smiling. “How long have you been sitting there?”

“They brought you in at like midnight so… six hours?”

“Shit,” Beca said. “I’m sorry. You can go back to the hotel, you know? Get some proper rest?”

“I told you I wasn’t leaving you,” Chloe said. “So I’m not leaving you.”

“Thank you,” Beca said, reaching out so Chloe could take her hand.

“You and Amy rowed out into the Med to save us from a crazy hostage situation. I think I owe you this at least,” Chloe said, taking Beca’s and and pressing her lips to her knuckles.

“I did all of the rowing too,” Beca said. “If that gets me bonus points?”

“It does,” Chloe said, grinning. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore,” Beca said. “Tired. You?”

“Yeah I’m pretty tired too,” Chloe said. “It’s been a wild night.”

Beca gave a small noise of agreement, feeling her eyes wanting to close again. “Lie down with me?”

“I don’t know if I should,” Chloe said, biting her lip.

“Please,” Beca said.

“I don’t want to get yelled at by a scary Spanish nurse.”

Beca laughed. “Okay,” she mumbled. “I don’t want that either.”

“I’ll stay right here though,” Chloe said, kissing Beca’s hand again. “I promise.”

“Love you, Chlo’,” Beca said, drifting off as Chloe stroked a hand up and down her arm.

“Love you too, Beca,” Chloe replied.

“I had a weird dream that first night in the hospital,” Beca said, sitting on the edge of her bed a few days later, struggling to tie her shoes without hurting her ribs.

“Yeah?” Chloe asked, batting Beca’s hands away so she could tie them for her.

Beca was being discharged, and she and Chloe had one more night in the hotel before flying back to New York. Beca couldn’t wait for a proper shower and night’s sleep that wouldn’t be interrupted by nurses checking on her every few hours.

“Yeah,” Beca said. “You and Aubrey were talking about Amy fighting a bunch of dudes on that boat.”

Chloe’s hands froze for a second before she carried on tying them.

“Did we talk about anything else?” Chloe asked, trying to keep her voice casual.

“Yeah,” Beca said.

Chloe looked up at her.

“It wasn’t a dream, was it?”

Chloe shook her head.

“So the other stuff…”

“Yeah,” Chloe said. “Not a dream.”

“And… And you meant it?”

“Yeah, I meant it.”

Beca nodded. “Um, it feels weird to say this while you’re tying my shoes.”

Chloe laughed and stood up, taking Beca’s hands.

“You’re like the most important person in my life, Chlo’. I love you so much.”

“I’m sensing a but coming?”

Beca shook her head. “No buts. I love you. I’m in love with you. Have been for a long time.”

Chloe blinked and felt tears prick her eyes.

“I love you too,” Chloe said.

Beca grinned. “When I’ve showered all the hospital off me, I’m gonna kiss you, okay?”

“Can’t wait.”

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sanzu-sanzu-sanzu · 3 years

Note

Hiiiii.🙈

Just came here to say that I love your Songs About Toxic People so much.❤️ I've been obsessed about the Bonten Executives ever since I caught up with the manga and it's just so sad how we don't have enough content about them yet.🤧

I love all the Bonten Executives and my favorites are Sanzu and the Haitanis.🥺🤧💕

It's funny because I don't even know how that happened and I didn't notice it right away but the next thing I know I'm simping after the three of them so hard and for days my mind has been filled with nothing but thoughts of them ever since. Oh, the struggle. (😂)

The lack of content about them almost turned me into a fanfic writer right then and there (🤣) because I seriously wanted to read something about an OC who's also the only female executive in Bonten and I almost wrote it down myself, I swear.😆 I have never written something before in my life. Never. That's why I am soooo glad to find Songs About Toxic People. You have no idea how you saved me from the thirst I've been having ever since I got introduced to Bonten!Sanzu and Bonten!Haitanis and how you silenced the raging thoughts in my head about them if only for a little while, may God help me.

Now. About your absolutely beautiful and wonderfully written fic. Let me just say that I love everything about it.✨ The characterization, the little details about OC, their interactions, the dialogue, everything, is chef's kiss in my opinion. English is not my first language and (I'm guessing your's isn't as well? If I'm wrong, please ignore this but if I'm right then) I admire how beautiful your narration is. The words you use and the way you can create an image in your readers' minds using your descriptions is amazing.❤️

Your "show, don't tell" skills in writing is very beautiful, very admirable, and it's also my most favorite part of your story. I love it very much, seriously. That skill is the one thing I lack that made me give up in being able to write something of my own.😌 I realized that when it comes to writing, there are so many factors to remember and consider in order to make it interesting and engaging for your readers. Worldbuilding, character development, pacing, to name a few. But the hardest for me to master is the one thing you're so amazingly good at. And I admire you for that. That's why whenever I come across a writer like you with such excellent "show, don't tell" skills, I always make sure to make my appreciation shown. ❤️

Another thing I love about your story is the OC.😭 God, I love her so much. She is everything I've wanted to see in a fic that involves the Bonten Executives. She's a badass, she's feisty, and she perfectly fits right in with the other characters. I could just cry with how perfect she is in my opinion and you made that happen.😭❤️ I'm very satisfied with her character and I want to thank you again because I just know that if I did followed up on my need to write my own fic despite my inexperience, I just know that I'll end up disappointing myself and possibly even hate the plot idea because I was not able to meet my own expectations so thank you, thank you, thank you.❤️

She is amazing. You are amazing. Your whole fic is super amazing. I am glad and relieved that I don't have to write my own because yours already exists and it's so perfect.🤧

A female Bonten Executive, and the only female one at that.🥺🤧😭 I am so incredibly happy that the idea is finally out there and someone finally wrote it and that someone is also such a good writer. 🙌🏼

Kudos to you and I hope I can do more than just read and then say thanks. I believe you deserve more than that because I've been looking for this exact content you made and I've been looking for days. And now that I found one, even just the one, I'm relieved because it's already perfect on its own.😌

It's possible that it would take a long time for other writers to write something like this: a female OC that involves the Bonten Executives, my favorite flavor.🤧 It makes me sad, but no matter. I don't mind if I have to reread Songs About Toxic People again and again and again like how Sanzu takes drugs I'M SORRY for a long while because it's enough to satisfy my hunger and my thirst for the time being.❤️

Wow. This got super long. My bad. 😅 I did not mean for this to happen. I hope you don't mind this long ass appreciation message. I love leaving this kind of messages to writers like you.😊

Anyways, yeah. I just came here to tell you that. I hope you're having an amazing day and that you're safe wherever you are. Please take care of yourself. I'm looking forward to more of your works and what you can come up with. I am super excited! 😁

Best of luck and God bless.

- ✨

helloooo :”( this one took me a quite a while to answer because i just couldn’t stop gushing whenever i’d open my inbox huhuhu but you have no idea how much this truly means to me and i wish i can write better words at explaining how this made me feel. <3

first of all, your obsession with the bonten executives is COMPLETELY understandable i’m literally on the same boat as you my friend hahaha with sanzu being my main guy <3 they’re just so hot and dangerous but i also think there’s something kinda funny with all those guys being together LMAO (especially sanzu and the haitanis…add in a dead-eyed manjiro omg..)

just like you i am quite sad about the lack of content on them hahahaha it’s the main reason why i started writing about them in the first place, actually! (also because i'm just obsessed with sanzu) but that was more at the beginning when i still mostly relied on ao3, and then i got more active on tumblr and now literally everyday there’s new fics about them and that makes me extremely happy 🥺 i always did think that the bonten executive OC would make for such a nice flavor so i just latched on to the idea, and i also wanted to keep it a little more casual because i’m not the best with dark themes hahaha but it also helps me imagine the bonten execs in friendlier, more human, more everyday settings—a very fun exercise when you can’t stop thinking about them!

i am beyond happy knowing that you’re enjoying my fic to the point of sending me this lengthy message (whose length i don’t mind at all!!!) 😭 painting a picture with words is one of my favorite things ever when it comes to writing and i just…tear up when people enjoy my descriptions and the interactions and the little details huhuhuhu you have no idea. i didn’t even know i was doing a ‘show, don’t tell’ manner of writing until you pointed it out, so i gotta thank you for this cause it made me think more about how i write (in a good way!), so thank you, i super appreciate it.

i also hope you do get to write if ever you wanna! manifest the things you’d like to see in the world—something like that! hahahaha but also yeah, it can be fun and the possibilities are endless and it’s fanfiction so you can always do you <3

again, this really just made my day and i’ve saved it to my notes to read for when i’m feeling meh hahaha. i gotta say in advance tho that my updates might not come as regularly as before cus (1) life and also (2) need ken wakui to reveal more about my favorite bad boy sanzu LOL so we get to know him better.

and here’s to hoping more people write about oc’s that are bonten execs! so you’d get to have your share of this genre of bonten fic! hehehe you deserve it <3

THANK YOU SO MUCH, i hope you’ll have a nice day too 🥺 and take caaaaare. MWAH.

ps. oh yes, you’re right! english is not my first language hahaha.

#I LUV YOUUUU

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calypsoff · 3 years

Text

Ninety Three. Part 3

That talk with Mel is something I needed, I needed to speak to someone that knows Robyn as much as they do. Mel is relying on me to bring her back, I mean I feel I can do it but then again I feel like Robyn is very much adamant in telling me to fuck off, several times too. Mel said I need to be on her level, I can’t be trying to tell her she can’t do something when she is like this. I really wish Robyn told me this, told me how she is feeling so I could help her get through it. I think Robyn felt alone, like you can have a room full of people but still feel alone and I think she felt that because I was being an idiot. I wasn’t thinking straight, I never do but that video of Robyn. I need to look at it actually, I just had a shower and got some clothes on. I am praying and hoping she is where I think she will be, I am assuming she will be in the casino and if she is with other men, I need to not bite because she is going to do everything in her power to make me get annoyed. TMZ loaded up and the first thing I see is Robyn, they are are saying she attacked me, and I don’t like that because it was never that, my wife isn’t violent. Tapping on the article, this is very much defamation of name because that is not it. Tapping on the video and waited for it to load, I am not happy that this is happening. She doesn’t deserve this; she isn’t a bad person. Watching the video and seeing that she did hit my shoulder or whatever, but she was angry that I said her dad and it kind of works out, it’s bullshit. I don’t want to tell her that this was said. She doesn’t need it, but I need to stay by my wife, she means the world to me. I have let her down, I have always known she was vulnerable when it comes to men in general and her dad, it’s crazy how much it’s affected her.

Sitting atop of the pool table, I want to address the situation because it seems like in the article it states that she was with other men, looks like I was jealous of that and we argued, that didn’t happen. It’s crazy to see what they put but I want to shut down these rumours, it’s spreading thanks to that toxic ass page. Pressing record on my phone, fixing my Snapback “what’s up, I don’t like to get involved in these kind of scenarios or politics to do with things that go on, my life or whatever but I don’t. It’s come up on that wack ass blog TMZ a video of me and my wife, lies are being told. We were talking and she did hit my arm or whatever, but it was playful, she was a little tipsy whatever. But it’s all lies, we are good in our marriage. My daughter is just better, and we don’t need to see that kind of shit, or those rumours being said, we come to Vegas to have fun. Our marriage is fine, we are good. God bless that my daughter is good so yeah, I just want to address that we are fine and that my wife isn’t the vicious person y’all making her out to be, I was fully aware she was speaking to men so there was no issues or arguments about that” shaking my head “we good over here” stopping the recording and adding it onto Instagram, adding a caption ‘y’all need to leave me and mines, I don’t fuck with the shit y’all be saying’ pressing send on the post, I will protect my wife on god, I will fuck up anyone for her, that’s my girl. Now I need to find that wife of mine, I want to call her but then I don’t think she will pick up because of my name being shown, if I don’t find her I’m gonna be panicking. I am worried for her, she is drinking and smoking so much too, like smoking excessively. I need to do this, I need to control my mouth and be there for her, she needs me, and I wasn’t even seeing it.

I put on a shirt and made my way down to reception, I need to know where my wife is and they will know, obviously they will. They see everything and they knew she was here earlier, I huffed out making my way to the reception. The lady looked at me and she was going to say hi, but I just cut her off “my wife, Rihanna? Where is she?” I sound abrupt but I am not the mood for all the nice talk, I just need to see my wife and see how she is “I can show you” why is it everyone knows where she is, is my wife making that much of an issue, this is concerning to know actually “right this way sir” walking behind her, she seems so kind about it but I am wondering if Robyn is causing a scene “is everything ok?” I have to ask; I am nervous. Robyn is so sly and is running off constantly, she isn’t just nobody either “not at all, just she was getting harassed by a barrage of people and we had to bring in extra security but please, it’s not bother” oh god, I am nervous now. Walking into the casino I can see where she is, the group is gathered and it’s not a show. I just need to not kick off either, I get very protective of my wife too “that way sir” she gestured, nodding my head walking off towards the crowd. She is on the slots machine and is being stared at by people, I dislike that because she doesn’t need all eyes on her either. Looking around and seeing phones out “watch out!” I spat, people started to move to the side and then recording me “don’t push sir” I will knock this nigga out, he better let me through right now before I cause a scene in this place, I do not care for anyone “let him though, that’s Chris” another security guy came forward, he let an oh “sorry” he let me through, nodding my head walking by him. Robyn clapped her hands together “I won again” Robyn looked at me, she is wearing my snapback “I can see” moving the snapback back a little, kissing her forehead “I can see you are winning, as you do” pulling the snapback down, looking around us, there is so many cameras around us, they have literally blocked off the whole section because of Robyn, she really doesn’t care, she is staying here and having fun “what you doing” Robyn is searching my pockets, then she dug her hand in my pocket “these” she grabbed my cigarettes “ok” I mumbled, my phone started ringing in my pocket “you good yeah?” I asked, Robyn nodded her head smiling at me. Looking down at my phone, Robyn wrapped her arm around my torso “what’s up?” I asked, it’s Mel “she is in the casino, they are tagging her on Insta” Mel is spying from afar “yeah I am here with her now, thanks. I will update soon” I don’t know what to do, there is so many people here. So many prying eyes too.

Robyn is playing Crabs, I say play she is trying her best and the whole crowd is cheering but I am so protective of her, I am just thinking on what to do. She hasn’t said much to me at all “I done good?” Robyn asked, nodding my head “always” nuzzling the top of her head, licking my lips looking around. I just hate this, it’s so compact like everyone is just here and I feel judged. I feel our marriage is being judged; I hate this. I want this to just stop but I can’t make it stop, I need to take action. I am so protective of Robyn, I feel like she is vulnerable, and I didn’t see it at first but I do now, she is so vulnerable “Rihanna, you good at playing Crabs” someone shouted, I smiled looking over at the person “I am good at a lot” Robyn said, her voice is husky as hell, all that smoking is getting to her “what that mouth do?” my eyebrows knitted together, looking at whoever said that “ask my husband, I just sucked him off in the penthouse suite” I had to do a doubletake at Robyn, the whole crowd just busted out laughing “don’t be speaking on my mouth nigga, go ask ya father” Robyn added “don’t come for me nigga, don’t do it!” everyone cheered, Robyn is being called volatile and she is being recorded shouting this, I just feel stuck on what to do “shall we go to the suite?” I said in her ear “you can get me a blunt, make me one” she turned to me, taking in a deep breath and then sighed out.

Robyn turned away from the Crabs table with the blunt in hand and her cocktail “I want to go now” when she moved the whole crowd moved with her “where you going?” moving back from the Crabs table “let’s go to the club” licking my top lip “erm” I paused, I don’t even know what to say. Nodding my head and leaning down to Robyn hugging her “how about we go to the suite, you can do your hair and stuff. Look all cute for the club” pressing a kiss to her cheek moving back, Robyn nodded her head too “you right, ok let’s go then” following behind Robyn, we can finally go to the bedroom and just talk, I don’t know how to even bring the questions up about everything. I caught some arm that reached forward trying to grab Robyn’ shoulder “the hell” pushing it away, the security is rushing us out and I just moved to the side of Robyn. She is so calm about everything; she doesn’t even care that we are getting mobbed. She doesn’t even know what is being said about her, I am here trying to save her. I just want to protect my girl, she is going through a lot and I want her to be happy, I think I haven’t helped with her at all. I am so bad, I am a bad husband to her, but she needs me to be there for her, I can only love her.

We got to the bedroom and Robyn went straight to the room, she wants to get dressed for the club. The club I don’t really want to go too, I don’t even know where to start at all. Answering the call from Mel, she has been so supportive right now. She has been ringing to check “hey” I answered “just thought I would ask how you are? You seem very nervous about this; you seem a little scared. Robyn is just closed off Chris, don’t mind her. She will break that mask; I just know her” she is so confident “can you come?” I don’t know “no, you need to be the one to do it. She do what you need to do, anyways. I got Rylee actually, she is doing so well. I am so glad to see her in high spirits” I miss her so much “thanks for checking on me, I just feel so stuck. Robyn hasn’t really let go of Rihanna; I can tell. I will go upstairs and see to her, thanks” disconnecting the call, I appreciate Mel for this. I understand what she means by she wants me to do it but I just feel like she would do a better job, I do feel bad because I know that Robyn be there for me to build me up so can’t I do this for her, how useless am I to even think someone else should do this. I don’t mean it in a bad way but it’s hard, I don’t know how to approach the situation.

Walking into the room and all I can hear is Robyn’ phone going off, like it’s been none stop but all she is doing is getting ready. She is really ignoring everything “you good?” I asked what I asked before, I can’t help but say the same thing “are you? I was the one that left you in bed” she sniggered, knowing full well what she did but I won’t make it an issue “erm yeah I am” the phone started ringing again, making my way to the phone, looking down and seeing Jay Brown name. Rejecting the call, picking the phone off to turn it off “I am fine, it’s been a while you know” the phone switched off, placing it down “you remember that time when my dad took us to go and watch Space Jam?” Robyn looked up at me “I do, why?” she is miserable “it just made me laugh because erm, that time I wanted to sit with you, and you ended up letting my dad sit in the middle? Like what, but the bonus of it all is that my dad paid but then you were sick after the hot dog” Robyn groaned out “oh yeah, that was bad” she nodded her head and froze “and your dad was holding my hair back, yeah. He is so sweet to me” she agreed “yeah he was, I’ve always wanted to be like him. Like my dad, just a good man. But I don’t think I actually am, I think I am not the person he bought up, you know. You said I am just like your dad, and at first I was so caught up on it thinking it was a bad thing but me and your dad have something in common. We both hurt you and let you do, and I apologise for that. I do a lot without thinking and what I did and how I have been acting was bad, I will forever be sorry for that” putting my head down “men are trash” I expected that “I don’t blame you for that Robyn” looking up at her “you say we should talk; I enjoy our talks. At night” stuffing my hands in my pockets “talking to me about me, asking me how I am, asking me what I am doing, telling me what I need to do. You have asked me how I am, how I am doing. I have my own issues and you have been there for me to console me but I haven’t thought of you, I can’t say I understand how that feels, to be abandoned by a parent” Robyn doesn’t like it “I don’t want to hear it” she got up from the seat “but I do, I am not Monica where I will say you know what your dad should be like, I want to hear you Robyn. What happened to Rylee was never your fault, I know these words won’t heal you, but it wasn’t” she stared at me “Rylee needs you” I said in a whisper “the same girl that sleeps only when you sing to her, I bet she is wondering where her mommy is, you know she is because her eyes light up seeing you, she needs you more then me Robyn, I know that. Rylee adores you” Robyn put her head down, she was quick to run to the bathroom, maybe I can keep pushing her to break and she will talk to me.

#chriannaff #chrianna fanfiction #chrianna #chrianna ff #fanfic #fanfiction

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straighttohellbuddy · 3 years

Note

World building is the best tbh. I’m forever world building and now I have several worlds to play in and my neurodivergent brain cannot stay still enough to focus on one lmao. SLOWBURN ROMANCES ARE MY LITERAL JAM LIKE PLS!!! I LOVE THEM!! Also!!!! Concepts!!!! Pls share!!!! I love learning about the worlds of my fave fics and I can hands down say right now that this fic will literally shoot to the top of my list of favourites which means you’ll occupy the top three spots. Sorry to hear that ur feeling rough, so am sending u the biggest hug. I’m not okay but I’m taking care of myself today so that I will be 🧡-🐈‍⬛

alsjfsldkjf i have too many worlds TBH, literally one of the best parts of my 2020 was writing for the classic rock fandom and writing one of my good friend’s ocs alongside mine, like there’s so many different worlds that our two characters have now, i’m like 26k deep into a high school au that i need to get back to at some point, and then i wrote a oneshot abt the high school au but they’re adults, and then there’s also the original timeline, and then there’s the present day in the original timeline where they have kids and i probably care too much about people who aren’t real...... hahaha

OKAY OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO I’LL GIVE KIND OF AN OVERVIEW OF THE ALBUMS AND A FEW SONGS BUT IF U WANT ME TO GO IN DEPTH ON ANY OTHER SONG JUST ASK!!!

yes i have a playlist for each, if you wanna hear how i interpret the vibes of the songs. if you interpret them differently, thats awesome!! i’d love to hear y’all’s opinions on them!!

testing one two - the first ep they release, the song titles are mostly themed (fast forward, press play, pause, rewind), but are mostly things y/n has been working on for a while but never got around to finishing, things they are rather proud of. i see you shiver with... is the first song they wrote specifically for the album, and it’s the last song on the EP because it’s a Rocky Horror reference; i see you shiver with...

a n t i c i p a t i o n - first full album!! the vibe is Hopeful But Hesitant it has all the songs from the ep, plus some new ones!! collabs with youtube musicians troye and dodie, and y/n’s label sets up a collab that turns into a genuine friendship. the breakout dance hit is what else is there to say ft. Troye Sivan, which is about not knowing what to make content about when it feels like you’ve already told the world everything. it featured the prechorus and hook

You, know, ev-ery-thing about me / gave it all for free / my life in HD / So, let’s dance, let me see your hips sway / we’re gonna be okay / what else is there to say?

So say that you love me, say that you love me, say that you love me / let’s die hand in hand. / I’ll tell you I love you, tell you I love you, tell you I love you / supply and demand.

personally, i also conceptually enjoy srs bsns which is a really upbeat song about how they don’t care if people don’t take them seriously because they know in their heart that what they’re doing is good

hyperfocus - 2nd EP, a pretty substantial departure from their usual style, but also happens to quietly be Corpse’s favourite, and is actually y/n’s most polarising, because it has both the Grammy award winning HEARTBURN and the o brother where art thou which was written partially as a joke to capture a fond moment of them and 5SOS dicking around together in a hotel. written while on tour wit 5SOS, im writing the reader as having ADHD (because I have ADHD and i can do what i want), and the backstory is that they’d changed the medication/dosage they were taking, and as it’s their first full tour, they were under a lot of stress and were in a weird place mentally and emotionally, and hyperfocus is the result of that. i’m going through some stuff has HUGE agoraphobic vibes.

HEARTBURN has the same vibes as Florence + The Machines’ Howl. It’s about being a demon without saying that or directly implying that unless you know demons real well. This is when the pressure for them to confirm their identity got real bad, and it was their way of working through those emotions.

tear in existence in the shape of a person / when i’m seeing clearly i can’t see myself / world can’t swallow what it can’t get it’s teeth into / got everything i wanted but i ain’t got my health

Got heart-burn--- / I’ll tear me apart / I’ll tear you apart / I’ll tear me apart.

SCREAM gets rereleased as a remixed single featuring Fall Out Boy the following year. It won the MTV music award for best collaboration in 2018.

In the time between hyperfocus and working on it, Y/N releases several singles, including a cover of Tell Him by The Exciters to be featured in To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. They also take time to sort out their health, do a little bit more YT stuff, and travel internationally to do festivals.

working on it - is kind of a middle ground between their original stuff, and hyperfocus, like pop-punk meets horror-pop meets whatever you’d classify halsey as. the first three songs were mostly written before the fic starts, so before they’re getting back to YT, but the last three, nightmare scenario, designed to hurt (touch me), and not scared were all written after they’d started hanging out with sykkuno and corpse.

in-universe, imposter syndrome was originally something else, along the same lines of tired that they’re hiding that they’re a demon, but after meeting corpse nd sykkuno and having people who know, and lowkey being influenced by corpse’s music, the song changes directions, and YO OKAY YO::

I literally am so fucking flattered, my darling friend @bingusmode wrote lyrics for imposter syndrome and I’ve been yELLING about them ever since i’ve read them!! (also bunnie is fantastic and lovely in general 10/10)

if you thought you saw me

i’d think about it twice

cuz while i know i’m naughty

everybody thinks i’m nice

cutest giggles get me

places that i long to be

but it’s not long before

everybody hates me

when you figure out i’m fucked up

you’ll probably think that can’t be right

but babe my image runs to save me

cuz i’m ugly day and night

nothing good about me

not the angel that i seem

cuz i’m a piece of shit

and i’ll ruin your fuckin dreams

i’m an impostor babe

you better run for your life

cuz there’s a bloodlust runnin through me

and you’re dripping off my knife

there’s no one here to save you

cuz you ate up all my lies

so beg me while you can

and draft up all your goodbyes

if any of y’all are inspired by anything i put out, feel free to take it and run!! you have my blessing!! i am so overwhelmingly flattered by people who like my stuff enough to create because of it, directly or indirectly! lyrics, art, songs, anything!! legit! I love you!!

okay so designed to hurt (touch me) has big House of Memories by Panic! At The Disco vibes, and YES it’s about Corpse. YES it sends mixed messages. YES it has greek myth imagery and YES that imagery is confusing. not sure if any of these sets of lyrics actually go after each other but also idk??

will my fall from grace be graceful / as each move i see you make? / propped up on pedestals side by side / beneath our feet they shake / i’m the only one to hear you ask / “What have they done to me?” / My boy, your wax throne is sun-drenched / you’ll fall in the name of your legacy.

eyes like yours watched rome burn / while hands like mine lit the pyre / we both heard me say we’d go down in flames / now you’re turning me into a liar / since you smile like that, like you can’t feel the sting / and we both know i can’t feel the fire

been telling myself i’m designed to hurt / but, baby, aren’t we a sight? /

check your reflection, your angles, apollo / you’re icarus in the right light /

we’re on the edge, i’m not scared to fall / we’ll take refuge in the night /

been telling yourself you’re designed to hurt / but, baby, doesn’t this feel right?

also, albumtouralbumtour is a reference to Bohemian Rhapsody.

OKAY AND FINALLY

n o s t a l g i a - the album the reader’s working on during the fic.

literally as i was writing this, bunnie sent through some FIRE lyrics for how the light gets in, (@bingusmode) i am going to be thinking about these on REPEAT for the next MONTH BRUV

little bit of darkness, treat me like a toy

i got my hopes up and got them destroyed

bitter taste of regret sitting heavy on my tongue

can’t believe i let you convince me that you were the one

sitting here in silence, fabric running thin

petals burning in my lungs and stealing oxygen

embers from a cigarette falling to the floor

god i can’t take anymore

so i stumble to the window and pull the shades

and the moon pours in like you threw a grenade

i can’t understand why

i keep trying

cuz i never seem to win

but having any hope is how the light gets in

from there, moment before impact ft. Billie Eilish is a club anthem along the lines of bad guy or COPYCAT, bass heavy with a drop that’s out of this world.

powdered pain, i’m in your veins / i’m the sting, the drip, the thing / you’re craving, but you hate to see me misbehaving / i heard my breakdown got you high / it’s true, but baby i can’t lie / i never got that rush, that burn / that makes you feel alive, i had to learn / to pick the slippery slope down which i fell / plan my pitstops on the way to hell / to pick my padding before i spiral / so if i break it’ll be in style

watch my misdirect, now freeze, / notice you can’t see the forest for the trees / you’re so desperate for my demise / but baby, i’ll make you watch me rise.

this is the moment before impact

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i know you hope i’m not okay / you get off on my audio misery

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i need you to know i want it this way / my breakdown won me a grammy

and this is the moment before impact

ur my favourite - interlude ft. sykkuno is probably one of my favourites, it’s just really soft, just a snippet of a conversation between the reader and sykkuno, maybe one of them told a joke and they both just sound real happy and sweet. its nice. it’s a nice moment.

means something is also for sykkuno!! it’s about how good-strange it is to be open and honest with friends, and how they usually aren’t but they’re glad they can be open and honest with him!!

meanwhile, i don’t think about u - interlude ft. CORPSE is a phonecall between corpse & the reader right after they announce they’re going to feature on acting like that, where corpse asks if they do this sort of thing to spite him, to which the reader responds ‘do i consider you when i’m making decisions about my career? no, corpse, actually i don’t think about you at all’ which then directly contrasts the song that ends the album, which is (how it feels to be) beautiful fireworks, which is essentially ‘i know how hard it is to exist like this, to be the centre of attention, to give off light and bring people joy, even when you’re in pain. i’m here for you. i love you.’

okay, i swear im done now, i’ll get back to writing the fic! (also i cannot BELIVE i managed to figure out how to embed those playlists but im so happy) edit: it didn’t actually work when i posted the ask, so anyways im sorry but y’all are abt to be spammed with playlists because i care too much abt this fic

#Anonymous #how the light gets in #corpse husband x reader #black cat anon

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interstellix · 3 years

Text

to those who made my 2020 a little better,

i just wanted to let each one of you know that you mean tons to me and that you truly have, in one way or another, made this year better. i’ll be honest, 2020 was just not it for me, a whole lot of shit happened and i’ve had countless of days where i’ve been too tired in ways i can’t explain. at the same time though, good things have happened as well, one of them being the people i’ve met on tumblr; some of you i’ve been friends with since before, some of you i got to know this year and some of you even very very recently. still, i can’t thank these people enough because they’ve all been part of making this year less shitty than it would’ve been otherwise. thus, i wanted to at least let the mentioned ones know that they’re the ones part of that

now, i’m really not good with words, and i absolutely Hate being sappy, yet that’s exactly what i’m being here fjkdfk. i’m deadass out here cringing at my own words but please bear with me this one time LMAOO.

tldr; ily and u’re all v v precious people to me

@ohmyhao i don't think i'll ever be able to explain just how precious you are to me, no joke :( i'm almost 100% you're the one who's been sticking around my blog(s) since the very start and i want you to know that, even if we don't talk as often, i'm grateful for each and every day knowing i deadass have someoone like you around. i mean, i'll be honest, i still question your choice of favorite haikyuu characters because oi🤮kawa bUT!! i'll forgive you bc!! you're literally among the cutest people i've ever come across (don't even think of arguing with me this time), you're no joke one of the reasons i continued staying on tumblr and getting to know you is something i'll always feel blessed over 🥰

@kachulein LOL OK i could go on for hours and hours here, mostly because of how many and all the different things we talk about stuff that just shouldn't see the light of the world included. talking to you is something that never fails to make me feel happy but also incredibly at ease; i really, really want you to know that something i’m incredibly grateful for is how i’m comfortable enough with you to be able to talk about things i otherwise just can’t :( aside from that, listen, 99% of our conversation have me wheezing my throat off, like it can get weird af but it still has me laughing. something else i’m really happy is when you put in your two cents in our conversation, i’ve said it before but as someone who struggles with seeing things from more than one perspective, i really admire hearing about your own! all in all, i love you tons and tons, you’re an incredible person through and through and i truly appreciate the time i get to talk to you!

@starryarles i don’t think i tell you this enough but?? mae?? i literally love you so much, legit l-o-mae-l??? i still laugh my ass of looking back at the time you found my other blog and i had to guess which one of my mutuals you were LMAOO listen the panic fjijfkjk. anyway, i absolutely adore every message, ask and comment i receive from you, no joke i always get really happy from each one of them and tbh?? during that long period of time we didn’t talk i genuinely thought you hated me or something HAHAH. turns out that that was not true at all or so i hope and not to sound like a sap but i’m deadass overjoyed that we started talking again. and really, you’re way, way too supportive, i literally don’t deserve how much love i’ve received from you even but please know that i’m grateful for every bit of it and that i love you stupid much and hope we can have another good year together :’)

@milkteandhan you?? are also?? one of the few who have been dealing with my ass literally from the very start?? because i seriously can’t remember having been on tumblr without you around?? BUT ALSO YOU LITTLE SHIT IDGI you bully me to the ends of the fucking world but for some reason?? i still love you?? >:(( ok but jokes aside, i really do love you a lot, i mean i love you as much as you make me suffer and that? that’s a lot :) you drop by my inbox with either the cutest/funniest message or pictures that make me wanna dig my grave but either way, they always make me smile like a fucking moron and listen LISTEN. i really wanna explain to you how much you mean to me but idk where to start bc i can’t. literally just can’t. find the words for that. but all i can say is that meeting you is something i’ll thank any and every damn god out there for and i’m not even religious, like at all fjkdjfkd so yeah. mwah

@astronomlns my god you bitch you bully me almost on the daily and then you?? have the audacity to deny it?? but! that said, i don’t mind lol. one of my biggest regret what goes my “”online-life”” is the awfully long time we didn’t talk but that’s also why i’m mad happy that we actually do now, almost every day even. i’ve already said this before but have the friendly reminder that you’re among the few that i feel really safe when talking. we’ve also pointed out this before but it’s almost been two whole years since we became friends and i hope you can stick with my shit for another whole year. again, you bully me a lot, but i still love you a whole damn lot, never forget that

@lixchannie i’ll be flat out honest, idk what the hell i’m supposed to say here. despite all bullshit that has happened you’ve been there with me this entire, entire time ever since we became friends and i don’t think i’ll ever be able to explain how thankful i am for that. we don’t talk every day and imy when we don’t lmao but tbh i’m fine with that because i’m genuinely glad knowing that i even get to have someone like you in my life. so yeah don’t leave me bc i’ll deadass hunt you to the end of the world

the rest of the “”kin-gang”” like some like to call it @bubbleskz @berryyyyyy @skzbbie we don’t talk as often, v v rarely actually but i want y’all to know that i don’t appreciate and love you any less than i did before we started somewhat losing touch. i don’t like sounding cheesy and shit fjkfkds but let it slide this time, the times we do talk are times i treasure more than i can explain, deadass. i feel like i don’t tell you this enough but you guys are better friends than i could ever ask for. again, we don’t talk as much, but 2020 would’ve sucked a thousand times more if we didn’t talk a lot, so thank you tons for being part of it and i hope you’ll be there for 2021 too :’)

@soulkhunscompass LISTEN. listen. i’ll say it, i’ll just fucking say it: i don’t deserve you at fucking all :///// you’re way too sweet to me, talking to you always makes me smile and laugh, esp when you promise making me food one day ffjdkfjkds. but somehow?? at the same time, and idk how you do it, but somehow SOMEHOW you never fail to make me feel appreciated whenever you tell me sweet ass things. ‘in return’, never forget that both that and you are something i appreciate way way more k >:( and also >:(( never forget that i love you so much, literally more than i love how the corner of felix’s eyes crinkle up whenever he smiles and that’s,,, that’s a damn lot tbh 👉👈

@chwe-yeeun honestly i’m lowkey sobbing while writing this. you’re one of those i only got to know this year, in fact just a few months ago but nonetheless, you’re still one of those i treasure a whole damn lot. like you said, you love making me suffer with pretty boys, it hurts but it’s still funny lmao, i appreciate but also feel bad whenever you have to deal with my bullshit whenever i come crying to you over eric those pretty boys, aNd ThE tImEs yOu SeNd ThAt CuTe HuG?? i return them all, like fr take my heart i don’t need it, it’s your for the taking like literally fuck it. moral of the story, i love you tons and thank you for being there with and for me :’)

@riskyrenjun i might as well start off and say that i fucking screeched when i saw you in my notifs and mention my content on your blog bc?? the queen herself?? noticed me?? wtf?? and i’ll be honest, i’ve been following you for a good while and for the longest time ever i wanted to hit you up bc you’ve literally always seemed so precious sO?? dO YOU EVEN KNOW??? hoW hAPPY i am?? that we actually?? are friends?? i’ve done nothing to deserve that but here we are fjkflkd. i saw your end-of-the-year post, i’m sorry i haven’t responded to it and that i’ve been so shit at talking lately, but i promise i’ll try to get better at it lmao so!!! i hope you’ll still stick around with me at that point because i can be really fucking damn annoying 🥺 long story short pray for a good 2021 bc you’ll probably regret ever even wanting to talk to me once we’ve become closer lol <3

there are a few other friends and mutuals i wanna include here; i don’t talk as much with some of y’all, others are people i’m still getting to know but nevertheless, i want you to know that meeting each one of you here on this hellsite is a blessing in itself and that it’s one of the things i’m happy 2020 has actually given me :’)

@0325-4419 @marculees @jwisungchan @stealerz @ciiikb @zoey-angel-istaeminsbitchnow @yangles @violethhj @littlefallenrebel

alllso to dear dc servers: @planteii @joey-yellow-county @sakura-writes-stuff @bound-writings @koukounuts @classicalsylph the rest of the server bc i’m struggling really hard to find them // @crimsoncitrus @everythingsinred and the rest of that server because again i’m struggling to find the url to the rest fjdkfkd; i’m not particularly active in neither but i still want you to know that i’m very grateful for being able to be part of two v v warm and welcoming servers, so thank you for that 🥺

#FUCk this got longer than i thought fjfjld

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