#make myself focus on other stuff (like shows i just casually watch or art or something)

[lyxchen]

Sorry, had to take a 5 day break from my Doctor Who hyperfixation because it got too strong especially after going to Megacon and I got a little overwhelmed, as one does with hyperfixations, but now I am ready to fully jump in again <3

#this sounds like a sincere emotional post #but it's actually supposed to be funny haha because with a lot of hyperfixations i do get to a poimt where i just get overwhelmed and have #to literally take a break from it (so no watching it or talking or posting about it a lot and also trying not to think of it so much) and i #make myself focus on other stuff (like shows i just casually watch or art or something) #and then i when i am chill again i can go on hyperfixating as i normally do #kind of like when your phone gets super hot because you used it so much and you have to put it away for a bit to let it cool down again #(tho that only really happened with my old phone but still) #anyways #doctor who #lea's random thoughts

[helloalycia]

The Wrong Lifetime – Three // Wanda Maximoff

chapter two | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter four

author’s note: i have nothing to say except enjoy!

Chewing on my bottom lip, I looked over the shelves at the different kinds of stationary the shop had to offer. I needed a new notebook and some ink since I'd ran low at home, so I decided to come into town to have a look.

A brown leather-bound notebook caught my eye and I picked it up, flicking through the pages. Sadly, they were too thin for my liking, so I replaced it and kept looking.

Moments like this were one of the few luxuries I had to myself, where my mother wasn't nattering in my ear about finding a husband and learning to do something useful other than writing, or where my brother wasn't overshadowing me in everything he did, making me feel even worse about myself. No, moments like this, I could just be.

"Y/N? Is that you?"

And there goes my moment.

Plastering a smile on my lips, I spun around and was surprised to see Wanda approaching me with an equally surprised expression on her face. She really was everywhere, wasn't she?

"Wanda, hello," I greeted as she stopped by my side. "It's good to see you."

She looked good, considering I hadn't seen her for a few days. Maybe once when she'd popped in to say hello to everybody before her date with my brother, but that was hardly a meeting. Now, she looked cheery, eyes sparkling with their usual excitement.

"You, too," she said softly, a smile creeping on her lips. Her eyes fell to my hands, where I was holding some ink. "Don't you have servants to do that for you?"

"Don't you have servants to do that for you?" I countered lightheartedly, eyes flickering to the vast amount of paintbrushes and paint in her arms.

She narrowed her eyes in a playful manner. "Touché."

Rolling my eyes in good nature, I asked, "So, what made you decide to go shopping?"

"I needed some new supplies," she quipped with an adorable smile, lifting her arms which were filled with said supplies.

"And you didn't think a basket would help?" I joked, before turning to grab a stray basket beside the shelves and helping her to put everything in it.

She chuckled, accepting my help, and answered, "Truthfully, I only came for the paint, but then I saw some new brushes I wanted to try, and then there were some new colours in stock and, well, before I knew it–"

"This happened," I finished for her with amusement, handing her the filled basket.

She took the basket from my hands and nodded. "Exactly. I would have sent my servant to get the paint, but last time I did, she came back with the wrong one."

"Oh, the scandal," I teased.

Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment and it was refreshing to see the shoe on the other foot. I guess I could see the fun in it now – no wonder she teased me often. Plus, she looked cute when she was caught off guard.

"What about you?" she countered, attempting to take the attention off her.

Content smile on my lips, I watched her. "What about me?"

She gave me an isn't it obvious? look. "I told you why I was here. What about you?"

I shrugged, looking back to the shelves. "I just needed some things... and I may or may not get excited when buying stationary."

Her melodious laughter filled the air. "Of course."

"I just don't know which to get," I told her, motioning to the notebooks. "There's so many options!"

She hummed with amusement, stepping by my side closely and reaching out to get a better look. I was acutely aware of her shoulder pressed to mine and tried to stop thinking about it, but obviously, once I told myself to stop thinking about it, it was all I could think about.

"How about this one?" she suggested, picking up a notebook wrapped in a burgundy-coloured sleeve. She was probably biased since it was her favourite colour.

I took it from her grasp as she held it towards me, feeling tingles at the tips of my fingers when they grazed her hand. God, I needed to get a grip.

Before I could look at the notebook properly, I noticed a smudge on her hand, subconsciously grabbing it before she pulled away. Flipping it over so I could see her palm, I saw several smudges of colour and stared with confusion.

"Paint," she explained, mildly embarrassed as she pulled away. "The stuff goes everywhere."

I hid a smile, finding it cute, before looking to the notebook again.

"I like it, but now to see the pages," I said, flipping through them to see if they were thick enough. I hated getting a notebook with flimsy pages that ink seeped through.

"Are they to your liking, your majesty?" she teased, and I looked up to see her tilting her head and watching me through her eyelashes.

"Yes, they are actually," I retorted with a childish glare, before closing it. "Thanks."

She half-suppressed a laugh. "Good. Let's hope it gives you some... vdokhnoveniye."

She paused, scrunching her nose in thought, probably searching for the right word in English. I was too distracted by how enchanting she looked when she did that to care about her struggle to find the word.

"Vdokhnoveniye is like inspiration," she explained, eyes looking back to me after staring up in thought, "but it's something better. It's from the word vdykhat', meaning to breathe."

"So, you want me to get a good breath from this?" I asked, quirking a brow with bemusement.

"No! No." She laughed, running a hand through her curls. "It's like... when you get inspired by something so quickly, as quickly as it takes to take in a breath. Never mind, it's stupid."

"It's not," I reassured her with an appreciative look. "I get it. Thanks. I like that. Russian is definitely a fascinating language."

She seemed glad that I made sense of her ramblings and I smiled, realising there was much more to Wanda than her ability to make me a stumbling mess.

"Have you got everything?" I asked her, glancing to her basket, before quickly adding, "What am I saying? Of course you've got everything. Practically half the store is in there."

She shoved me gently. "Not nice. But yes, I have everything."

I refrained from chuckling at her dismay before leading the way to the till so we could pay. As we took turns, the cashier made conversation with both of us. I knew of him because I'd been here enough times to make a friend, but I was surprised to see Wanda was the same. I was certain I'd never seen her here before. And I'd been here a lot.

When we finished paying, we began to head outside and I decided to speak my thoughts.

"You know, it's strange to think that we've both been coming here for a while and yet we've never crossed paths," I noted. "I mean, unless we have and just didn't know who each other were then."

She shook her head casually. "Oh, no, we haven't crossed paths. I'd definitely remember a pretty face like yours."

I paused, bewildered at her words as they took time to sink in. She seemed to notice as she laughed, holding the door to the shop open for me. I walked outside and she followed after me, eyes glancing at me satisfactorily.

"So, er, what are you doing now?" I changed the subject, recovering from my momentary shock.

She settled with a smile as she answered, "I'm in the middle of adding some finishing touches to a painting I'm working on. I'll probably head back to finish it."

"Ah, the paintings that you talk about but I've never seen," I joked, relaxing under her stare. "I'm starting to believe you're lying to me, love."

She rolled her eyes, though her smile widened, revealing a dimple by the corner of her mouth. "I'm not... You can come with me if you'd like. I don't mind showing you." When her eyes met mine, she quickly added, "If you're not busy, that is."

Humour disappearing, I nodded with surprise. "Sure. I'd love to."

And that wasn't a lie. I was curious to see the Sokovian's work since she seemed to enjoy talking about art so much. Plus, I could appreciate some good art when I needed to and I wondered if hers would fit the bill.

Or at least that's what I told myself when she flashed her dazzling smile my way, making my heart explode with adoration.

—

Just like me, Wanda didn't have a dedicated place to work from because her parents didn't deem her passion an appropriate hobby for a young woman in today's day and age. So, just like I did, she worked in her room and made the most of the space she had.

As soon as we took a step inside, I was amazed by how much stuff there was. Of course there was the expected – a bed, an ottoman, a wardrobe and a desk – but it was as if that was all secondary furniture to the main focus.

Closest to the giant window on the opposite end of the room were several canvases being supported by easels, some painted and some blank. Papers with sketches of literally anything you can think of were taped to the walls, some scattered along the floor and some scrunched up entirely, missing the bin.

Her desk was filled with jars of paintbrushes, oils, pencils, chalk and any other art supply I'd probably never heard nor seen of before. The place was messy, but not dirty. Her bed was made, the sheets as crisp as could be, her books were lined up neatly, her paintbrushes all had a perfect spot. It was clean, but it was a giant mess, and it was the most beautiful mess I'd ever seen. I refused to believe art was merely a hobby for her when it seemed like her room was dedicated to it.

"This is your room?" I asked with disbelief, eyebrows raised.

Clearly mistaking my amazement for critique, she dumped her newly purchased art supplies on her bed before rushing to pick up some loose papers and canvases from the floor.

"Yes," she squeaked, attempting to kick some papers under her bed as she straightened up sheepishly. "Sorry for the mess. Believe it or not, it does follow a system."

I laughed wholeheartedly, heading further into the space to where her makeshift studio was. "Wanda, you don't need to apologise. This place is amazing."

She snickered, glancing around at everything. "You think? I'd love something more – a real studio – but of course, women aren't supposed to have hobbies apart from pleasing their husband and hosting dinners every other week."

The last part she said with a hint of bitterness, clearly repeating what she'd been told before, no doubt by her parents. I was surprised by her vulgarity, but I wasn't in disagreement. She was absolutely right and it was such a shame because women were so much more than their husband. Too bad society would never see that.

"My father only allows me this... sanctuary," she finished with a sigh, before her hand rested on her desk. "It's not much, but at least it's mine."

"Well, I love it," I told her honestly, making her smile as she looked my way. "Can I look around?"

She waved her hand. "Of course. Nothing's off limits,  but do be generous. My ego is easily bruised."

I chuckled at her joke and she flashed me another smile before grabbing her neglected art supplies. As I helped myself to looking around at her work, I heard her rustling around behind me and glanced her way, seeing her making herself comfortable on a stool before a particular canvas. I presumed it was the piece she was working on that she mentioned earlier and got back to my browsing.

She was extremely talented, not that I had any doubts to be honest. There were her bigger pieces, the extremely detailed ones, that she'd painted of grassy landscapes. Some were green full trees with falling leaves, some were cherry blossom trees with pink blossoms floating in the air, some were buildings overgrown with mother nature. I recognised none of them, but they transported me elsewhere like a nostalgic reminder of being a kid and playing in the garden with my mum. Even now, I helped her do the gardenening, but I'd never really appreciated my surroundings until I saw Wanda's work.

And those were just the huge pieces. She'd done sketches that were taped to the wall, to her desk, floating out of sketchbooks. Some were plans for bigger pieces, others were daily observations, all of her surroundings. She didn't draw people, I noticed, it was mainly scenery. But it was all stunning and it brought a smile to my lips as I imagined her producing all of this in her own little sanctuary, as she called it.

"You've been quiet for too long," she called out jokingly, after a while of me perusing her sketchbooks.

I looked up from my seat at her desk, seeing her focused on her painting, but an amused smile ghosted her lips. The sunlight from the window was hitting her perfectly at the moment, and even from where I was sat, I could see the flecks of gold shimmering in her eyes, matching the auburn streaks in her hair. The breath got knocked out of me momentarily, and I almost forgot that she'd said something.

Clearing my throat, I returned her smile. "I'm admiring your work, Wanda. You're bloody talented."

She lowered her paintbrush and gave me an incredulous look. "Tell me what you really think, Y/N."

I grinned, laughing slightly. "I am! I genuinely think this is amazing."

She pressed her lips together, still reluctant to believe me, but she nodded gratefully and returned her attention to her painting. I didn't fail to notice the pink spreading across her cheeks at the compliment, and my heart fluttered at the sight.

"Would you ever sell any of these?" I asked her, standing up and approaching her side to see what she was working on.

I noticed the addition of stray paint that had made its way to her hands and forearms and it made me smile. I don't even think she realised it was there.

She scrunched her nose up at the idea. "I've given some away to family friends because my parents made me. But no, I don't think I'd sell them." Something seemed to make her snort with amusement, then she said, "Nobody would buy them anyway."

I frowned as she sighed, her shoulders sagging at the thought. It was horrible to admit, but she was right. Female authors – questionable, but sure, they existed. Female painters? Let's just say that it was easier to be successful if you worked under a pseudonym and pretended to be a man. Which she clearly wouldn't do, or at least her parents wouldn't allow her to do. Sadly, Wanda Maximoff was in the wrong lifetime.

Hoping to cheer her up, I stood by her side and admired the strokes she made with her paintbrush. "If it's any consolation, if we were in another lifetime where I actually made money, I'd buy them."

She glanced at me, partially disbelieving my words, partially intrigued. "Seriously?"

I nodded with certainty, eyes flickering between hers and her painting. "Seriously. All of them. I'd buy every single one."

She looked away, swallowing hard, then a soft, barely noticeable smile appeared on her lips, and I was glad I'd said the right thing.

Focusing my attention on the painting again, I saw it was a stunning view of a stream, and the way she'd painted it made it seem like it was flowing off the canvas. Her last minute touches, adding white flecks of oil paint on the water, managed to bring the piece to life without any effort. I was amazed at how someone could make nothing turn into something so easily.

"Where is this?" I asked curiously, not recognising the scene, and also wondering where she'd gone for the inspiration since we lived in a busy town that didn't have water sources nearby.

She pointed to her head with the end of her paintbrush. "Up here."

"You made this up?" I asked, surprised for the millionth time since arriving.

"Uh-huh." She tilted her head to study the piece, whilst saying, "I usually paint what's in the garden. Sometimes what I see in town is good, too. But I really wanted to paint water, and apart from the constant rain we get, there is none. So, I made it up."

I was impressed at her ability to make up something like this, but also slightly confused. "Why don't you just visit Blackpool? There's a beach – water, sand, pier, everything. And it's not too far from here. You could make it a day trip."

She shrugged, distracting herself with dipping her brush on her palette. "I don't want to go by myself."

I probably should have recommended she visit with my brother. You know, the man she was engaged to? But my eagerness got the better of me, and I ended up saying, "Maybe we could go together. If you want."

She looked up, a slow smile forming on her lips. "I'd like that."

I mirrored her expression, nodding slightly. "Great. I'm sure we can arrange something. Promise."

She held my gaze for a second longer, saying, "I'll hold you to that, milaya," before looking back to her painting.

"What does that mean?" I asked suddenly, my mind clearly not controlling my words today. "You keep calling me it."

She chuckled, leaning forward to get a closer look at her work with her paintbrush. "Darling."

"Pardon?"

She shook her head, glancing at me with amusement. "No, Y/N. It means darling."

I swallowed awkwardly, certain my cheeks were as red as they felt warm. I wasn't sure what was more embarrassing – that I'd responded to her calling me darling when she hadn't, or that she'd been calling it me this whole time without me knowing. "Oh."

"Pull up a stool," she changed the subject, though my mind was still racing at her revelation. Had she called Y/B/N that? I couldn't recall. "I'll show you how to paint a little if you want."

Dazed, I did as she said whilst chewing on my lip with thought. She watched me, grinning from ear to ear, but said nothing. Was it normal for my heart to flip-flop in my chest like it was? I couldn't tell anymore. And when she grabbed my hand without saying anything, my hand felt like it was on fire with her touch.

The tip of her paintbrush swiped against my inner palm, her soft fingertips holding it up. Every area that her finger touched was burning, sending tingles up my arm and leaving me paralysed. Good thing I was sat down.

"There," she said like it was obvious. "Now you're an artist."

Blue eyes met mine excitedly and I gave her a small smile in return, hoping that these strange thoughts and reactions would disappear soon enough. Because this was definitely not appropriate.

—

My dreams were never anything worthwhile.

For someone who had a creative mind and could string sentences together to create a story I was proud of, my subconscious was the opposite. It was dry and boring and I rarely remembered my dreams unless they were scary enough to wake me up. But this time, this was a dream I was certain I'd never forget...

As with all dreams, I was unable to control what was happening. I was myself, observing from a first person point of view like it was real, but I had no control over my words or actions. Everything was predetermined, like a script I was forced to follow.

So, in this particular dream, I was sat in the back of a carriage, wearing a dress that was fancier than my usual taste. One hand was clutching my purse and the other was in someone else's hand, the person playing with my fingers soothingly.

"We're stopping now. Are you ready?"

It was Wanda. I had no idea why she was in my dream, or why she was leaning into my side comfortably, or why she was playing with my fingers like she did it all the time. I just knew that it shouldn't have been happening.

"Yeah, c'mon," I said with a smile, following my dream's script.

I intertwined our fingers and raised them to my lips, pressing a kiss to her palm. She smiled with adoration and allowed me to lead her out the carriage quickly. We were at the theatre and the first thing I thought was that my mind was creating a date similar to the one she shared with my brother. Oh, God, this wasn't good.

"Promise you've got the tickets?" she asked as we walked inside, hand in hand.

In my dream, nobody around us seemed to care that we were together, that we were two women showing affection and simply existing in a way more than friends. As wrong as I knew it was to dream of my soon-to-be sister-in-law like this, my mind was at peace, knowing I could be myself in my dream state. I didn't have to hide my identity and it was liberating.

"No, I decided to leave them at home," I answered her sarcastically, smiling.

She squeezed my hand and tugged me close, stopping me from walking any further. Her face scrunched together with a feigned annoyance.

"You don't need to be mean," she mumbled, eyes peering into mine, and my heart raced at the contact of her body pressed to mine.

Grinning, I pressed a kiss to her nose. "I've got them right here, love. Now let's go before we're late."

The dream didn't have a clear transformation. I just knew that one second I was staring at Wanda and the next I was sat beside her in the theatre, waiting for the lights to go down.

"Here," I said, passing her the programme for the show that was in my hand.

When I looked down at it, I was surprised to see a wedding ring on my left hand. Huh.

The lights dimmed when Wanda looked my way, green eyes bright in the dark. She shrugged, grabbing the programme and tossing it over her shoulder to the (thankfully) empty seat next to her.

"Looks like I missed my chance," she said, referring to the lack of light.

I opened my mouth to counter her words, but she didn't give me chance to as she pressed her lips to mine, hand raising to hold the back of my neck and pull me closer. Real me was freaking out, wondering why the hell I was allowing myself to have such thoughts about the girl who was going to marry my brother. And dream me was melting into her touch, shivering at her warmth and the way she began to suck my bottom lip.

"Wanda," I breathed out, pulling away breathlessly, but she continued to hold me close with a stifled grin.

"Isn't that why we got these tickets?" she said jokingly, eyes meeting mine.

My heart raced as she did, the simplest of glances making me weak in the knees. I was beginning to learn that her eyes were irresistibly beautiful.

"Right," I found my words, smiling in agreement as my eyes flickered to her lips.

They were painted red tonight, slightly smudged from the abrupt kiss she gave me, and I could only imagine the state of my own lips.

"We can watch the play now," she whispered, and I just about managed to tear my gaze from her lips to see the entertained look in her eyes.

I hummed in response, not trusting myself to say something comprehensible. Her lips curved into a smile and she linked our arms before settling into her seat, head leaning on my shoulder. I leaned mine on top, kissing the top of her head gently before also getting comfortable.

When I woke up, I didn't remember the rest of the dream, or know if there was a rest of the dream. I opened my eyes and found myself laying in my bed alone, tired and in the dark. It was still nighttime and my mind was foggy with fatigue. It took a moment for me to remember what I'd just dreamed. And then it hit me.

I liked my brother's fiancé.

#wanda maximoff au #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff imagine #scarlet witch imagine #scarlet witch #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen imagine #elizabeth olsen #marvel #marvel imagine #mcu

[wenellyb]

My journey in the MCU fandom on Tumblr: Sharing my thoughts on the Falcon and the Winter Soldier, racism in the MCU fandom and the best and the worse of the fandom

I wasn’t going to write this much but here I am… I don’t even know where I’m going with this but since The Falcon and the Winter Soldier just recently came out, I wanted to share some thoughts.

I joined Tumble because of a show I loved but most of you don’t know it “ Hit the Floor”

I stayed on Tumblr for two reasons only, Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan.

Before the Captain America:Civil War premiere, a friend sent me the link to the Sebastian and Anthony ET interview, and I was hooked. In just one interview. I discovered Anthony Mackie. The guy was hilarious!!! I just couldn’t get enough and I knew I had to know more about him. How could he improvise so many funny lines on the spot? He was just amazing.

I had pretty much watched all the avengers movie but that was it. I was not involved in the fandom. So I knew Sam Wilson’s face, but I couldn’t even remember his name if my life depended on it. That’s how much the MCU treated him as a side character.

I was like how the f*ck don’t I know this guy?

His talent reminded me of Eddie Murphy, Jim Carrey or Robin Williams, like yes they can make some emotional or serious movies, but when they want to make you laugh, you will laugh. Whether you want it or not.  I kept wondering how this guy wasn’t more famous.

And the banter with Sebastian Stan? Wow, you could tell their friendship was strong, the way Sebastian lighted up when Anthony was talking, and keep bouncing off his jokes. It was art. the way Sebastian said “ I love you” at the end of the interview. Pure gold.

I then started to watch some of the interviews and boy was that a mistake!!! I literally couldn’t get enough. So I watched all and I say all their interviews, it was the best. We got some gems:

“Why aren’t you looking at me as much”

“Which way is the beach Seabass”

*Them saying nonsense in Spanish and then Sebastian Saying Papi Chulo*

 ¨And so many more, ....

I watched other solo Anthony interviews and he was still HILARIOUS, but you could also tell he felt a little bit more at ease with Sebastian around. I won’t pretend I know him or his personality, but Sebastian seems like a little bit more of an introvert and looks like he doesn’t enjoy the interview experience unless Anthony id around him. Just my thoughts

I watched the interviews before I went to see the movie, I even cosplayed as the Winter Soldier to the movie premiere and I was IN!!! When I saw Captain America Civil War, I became a SamBucky shipper, these two were hilarious and I really so the potential for a great realtionship I love enemy to lovers stories.

I also shipped Stucky because, to me, the trope of the movie was Superhero gives up everything to protect his long term friend” Hollywood movies have some codes and if Bucky were a female character, there is no doubt in my mind that the movie would have been marketed as romance.

Stucky really was an easy ship! But then the MCU fandom of Tumblr fandom messed up everything for me. You see I really liked the CACW and I I liked Stucky, I liked Sambucky, and I loved the introduction of t’Challa’s character, but one of things that affected me the most in the movie was that it was the first blockbuster I watched with 3 black main characters, Rhodey, Sam and T’Challa. That, and the fact that they were planning to realease a Black Panther movie in two years, I was super excited, and that’s the main reason I got involved in the MCU fandom so much, when before, I was just a casual watcher.

If this seem weird to you, then you have no idea how we were only getting crumbs before. For me it was soo huge, I even told all my friends, and they were laughing at me. But usually blockbusters, especially superhero movies get one black character and that’s it, usually the best friend or something and never the leads. So, for me it really was a big deal. How sad is that by the way…

I became more involved in the fandom and, at first, I wasn’t focusing on anything special, Sambucky, Stucky, Stackie, the Black Panther, and even Zemo, whose character I really liked.

But soon I noticed that the CACW tags were always flooded, and I mean flooded with the same two white characters: Steve and Bucky. I told myself, ok that’s fine Steve is the lead after all, but it would be good to see the other characters too.

And then I noticed another interesting trend: Evanstan…. Wait what?

Chris Evans, and Sebastian Stan… did I miss something? Listen, obviously I’m sure they must be friends or something, but you’re going to tell me you watch all MCU the actors and you’re going to focus on Steve and Sebastian? I’m sorry what?

Sebastian and Anthony are right there… Or Chris and Anthony, they even have a secret handshake, only the 2 of them do… what more do you want?

Tell me one iconic Evanstan moment… go ahead tell me… See??? There isn’t.

Because of this and because of how badly some Stuckies were treating Sam and Anthony. I became less and less of a stucky shipper . I mainly focused on SamBucky, Stackie and the Black Panther,

And then the Sebastian Stan stans saw how popular Stackie, Sambucky, were becoming and I started to see some problematic stuff in our fandom too.

I don’t want to generalize, but when you go into the Stackie tag, and you see cropped pictures of Sebastian without Anthony, it’s easy to assume that a Sebastian fan did that. And we know damn well you cropped out Anthony because we watched all Stackie interviews and know exactly which interview your picture was taken from. We know that Anthony was sitting right next to Seb.

You post a picture of Sebastian laughing but you crop out the person who was making him laugh??

“but it has nothing to do with race” How do you know that?

“Sebastian had more screen time” More screen time than Anthony in CATWS or CACW? I don’t think so.

“I have been a fan of Sebastian for longer”, that’s fine but don’t go out cropping Anthony, just post gifs of Seb in his usual, sad, and Anthony-less interviews, not the ones where he’s smiling because his best friend is next to him.

Some of you really are the worst. And just so you know, your fave Sebastian is Anthony’s biggest fan, if he saw pictures where you cropped out Anthony, he would block you on the spot.

When I realized that Anthony Mackie would be the next Captain America I was screaming, no actually, I was crying, Sam Wilson will be Captain America, and Anthony would finally get the recognition he deserves.

You would think that the MCU fandom would focus on Captain America or at least one the two leads, instead of just Sebastian? Right? Right? WRONG.

Anthony is handsome, he’s funny, he’s a great actor, he went to freaking Julliard, he’s at the top, I don’t see what else the man can do??? He should already be a superstar, but no, you will side-line him even to he is the lead of the show.

Even when they are the actual leads, you guys would do anything to bring up the White characters even if it means ignoring the Black characters.

I remember I was having a conversation about Black Panther with my friends and I asked one of my white friends who was his favorite character in BP was and he told me Martin Freeman (don’t even remember his name in the movie) Martin Freaking Freeman, there are half a dozen of great characters and your fave is the only white man??? Ok, ok, that’s great.

Don’t give out automatic reply like “It has nothing to do with race, if you haven’t thought about it first”, because there’s a high probability that it is indeed about race. Stop saying it isn’t, sit down and ask yourself, “Am I biased?” “Why am I reblogging only stuff related to the white characters”.

One of these days you guys are going to make me hate Sebastian with the sh*t you are pulling.

I looove the Stackie friendship and the Sambucky dynamic but after seeing the way some of you treat Anthony and Sam’s character, it make me want to focus on Sam’s character and forget about the rest.

 I remember they were some posts about how Anthony was problematic, and I just lost it. Apparently, there was an old article that resurfaced were Anthony was making a joke about women making sandwiches or something.

If you were offended by the sandwich joke, that is totally ok, and I can understand that.

But if you were offended by the sandwich joke, and saying Anthony is problematic BUT you still stan Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner, ScarJo or even Sebastian Stan, just know that there is a high probability you’re racist.

They have all said or done problematic stuff, and people only seem to remember stuff related to Anthony, which was probably just a joke by the way.

Chris Evans and Jeremy called Black widow a wh*re, ScarJo took roles that she maybe shouldn’t have and I didn’t forget Sebastian shady Instagram post, when Kaepernick was kneeling. There are so many more things to be said about Jeremy Renner but google is your friend.

Anthony also got hate for hating on Tom Holland? Like what? Do you guys even hear yourselves? Don’t you have any friends you like to tease? If you hate someone, do you go around talking about him every chance you get? It was obviously friendly banter but some people wanted to turn it into something it was not. Sigh.

I really cannot with this fandom

 The stackie fandom was small at the beginning and the Sambucky fandom even smaller, but we were there and it was amazing. Sebastian and Anthony received the same amount of love from the fandom and I wish we could go back to those days.

Stop pretending the fandom isn’t racist. Stop saying “it isn’t about race” when you haven’t even thought about.

Saying “it has nothing to do with race” only shows that you haven’t thought about anything but don’t want to be called a racist.

There is racism in this fandom and it will always be there, but if you guys want to do anything about it, you have to acknowledge it first.

You can’t be pulling off stuff like “I don’t see colors”, “ it has nothing to do with race”. Stop, sit down, think about it and then we can have a conversation.

If you’ve made it till the end, I apologize for the typos and grammar mistakes, I wasn’t planning on writing this much.

#tfatws #anthony mackie #Sebastian Stan #stackie #sambucky #Chris Evans #captain america #CACW #fandom racism #I didn't mean to write this much #my posts

[alpacaparkaseok]

Ivy

➣ Pairing: apprentice!Jungkook x reader, art curator!Hoseok x reader

➣ Premise: You’ve been promised to Jung Hoseok for twelve years. You’ve never wanted anything else. Until now. (inspired by the song “Ivy” by Taylor Swift)

➣ Genre: arranged marriage au, angsty with some fluff, SFW

➣ warnings/tags: it’s a bit angsty, the reader is technically promised to someone else so it’s a little messy, general EmOTioNS, a bit intense/stalkerish but not too bad?? some fun fluff and banter as well, but Hoseok might kill a man and Jungkook will go down fighting

➣ word count: 12.2k *yeah, I know. this sucker is like 3 times longer than it was meant to be*

➣ a/n: this was a commission by @delacyrose224 for Army for AAPI! Thank you so much for requesting this awesome prompt, I literally had too much fun writing this. I swear, I could’ve made a whole series out of this. You guys, check out ways to get involved in this awesome cause by clicking the link!

The person staring back at you in the mirror is not you. Of that, you are certain. There’s no way you could ever pull this off – the silken layers, ivory making your skin glow with a dew-like complexion…

           You voice as much. “I don’t even recognize myself.”

           “Isn’t that kind of the point?”

           Whirling around in a flurry of skirts and soft-to-the-touch fabric, you spot your betrothed lingering in the doorway.

           “Hoseok!”

           He chuckles, the sound making the corners of your lips tug upward. Taking in the sight before him, you can’t help but notice the way he chews on the inside of his cheek. Hoseok takes one hesitant step forward, crossing his arms.

           “You should’ve seen me earlier,” he croons, voice always sounding like he’s a breath away from laughter. “I thought my dad had somehow teleported into the mirror.”

           You wince. “Does this mean we’ve grown up?”

           “Unfortunately.”

           Twelve years of waiting for this. How have they already passed?

           “You know,” Hoseok begins, dropping your gaze in favor of stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I haven’t even properly proposed to you, yet.”

           “You should probably get on it.”

           “Mmm.”

           “Aren’t we getting married in April?”

           He frowns. “Yeah, mid-April I think. It’s barely November, though. So there’s no pressure, right?”

           You almost burst out laughing at his simple question. No pressure? Pressure has been your constant companion these past twelve years.

           What else were you supposed to feel? Trying telling a thirteen year old that they’re already promised to somebody and then tell them “Oh, but no pressure.” Of course, they made sure to drop that little piece of pointless comfort after they mentioned who you had been promised to.

           Jung Hoseok.

           Three years your senior, he had seemed larger-than-life when you first met less than a year after learning of your pre-determined commitment to him. He’d been kind, that was your first thought. A little strange, a little loud at times. For your teenage self, that was fine.

           Then things began to change. It was a rare occasion that you ever saw Hoseok; the two of you lived in different cities. However you distinctly remember one occasion in which you had unintentionally bumped into him while in search of your parents at their giant headquarters located in Busan.

           It was easy to get lost in that building – you still can picture all the different nooks and crannies where different works of art were stored. The more valuable ones were of course under lock and key, however there were plenty of show rooms that you managed to get lost in.

           You had done just that, taking a detour through the preservation room where several workers could be seen on the other side of the glass cleaning a timeless piece that had just been flown in from Austria. Once you realized where you were, you turned to leave. However, something caught your eye that made you hesitate.

           There was Hoseok, perched on the edge of a stool as he leaned over the artwork. There was nothing particularly flashy about him that day, something you weren’t used to. In all your time of knowing him (four years at that point), you had never seen him in something other than formal wear. If it wasn’t some sort of suit or dress shirt, it was a sweater vest that he somehow managed to pull off.

           This time, he was disguised in a white lab coat, holding a Loup to his eye in an effort to analyze the fine details of the painting. His brown hair was a little mussed, his knee bouncing up and down in the only outward show of excitement he portrayed.

           One of the workers began speaking, the details of their conversation muted to your ears due to the glass separating you from them. However, you watched as Hoseok listened with almost terrifying focus before turning back to the painting and delicately taking a brush to the frame. No doubt dusting off some invisible smudge.

           You had been frozen for a long moment, completely unfamiliar with this man. The Hoseok you knew was jovial and quick to laughter. He made you smile and roll your eyes. He put you at ease.

           This man, with his precise flicks of the wrist and unwavering focus, was a force of nature.

           You realized then, at the age of seventeen that while you were promised to this man, you did not know him at all. There was so much more hiding behind that heart-shaped smile.

           And now, at twenty-five, you are no closer to knowing him than you were before. You’ve never known anyone else quite so talented at wielding smiles with the same deftness as a sniper hiding on a rooftop.

           “No pressure?” You scoff, wiggling an eyebrow at your intended sniper. “That means I can’t gain any weight from here to April! That’s impossible with the holidays coming up!”

           Hoseok bursts out laughing, clapping at your comment as though you’ve just completed a stand-up routine. “That’s a good point,” he sighs, making a contented sound. “I’ll have to ask my tailor to let out my suit a bit in the spring.”

           You fidget on the pedestal, glancing back at the mirror over your shoulder. Your gown is breathtaking, there’s no denying it. It’s just…overwhelming.

           “Well,” Hoseok begins to back out of the room, “You look beautiful. Sorry for snooping around, but I couldn’t resist.”  

           You straighten up at his comment, preening a bit. Over the years, you’ve come to realize that Hoseok’s compliments are not given lightly.

           “Thank you.”

           He shrugs. “It’s true.” He turns on his heel and strides out the door, calling over his shoulder, “We’ll fly out first thing in the morning.”

           Piano Concerto No. 4 in G, from Beethoven’s Opera 58 echoes off the domed ceiling, bouncing through the air and enveloping you in a cocoon of music. Without your realizing, your right foot bounces out the rhythm as you crane your neck to get a better look at your work.

           “C’mon, David,” you groan, sparing the renowned sculpture a glare. “You’re not making this easy on me.”

           “I wasn’t aware that sculptures got vasectomies.”

           You jolt, nearly tipping off of your step stool before two warm hands grasp your shoulders. Sputtering and spewing, you spin around to see just who you need to direct your cursing at.

           “Who are you?” You fume as the person in question removes their hands from you and takes a timid step back.

           “Jeon Jungkook, m-ma’am.”

           “Is that name supposed to mean something to me?”

           Jungkook’s eyes widen even more, something you didn’t think he was capable of doing. Chowing down on his bottom lip, he gives you a small shake of his head.  

           “Then tell me who you are to me, not your name.” You inwardly grimace at your snappy tone, but you’ll apologize later.

           “Oh, I…uh, I’m the apprentice?” When you don’t immediately get a look of understanding on your face, Jungkook presses on. “Mr. Jung’s apprentice, ma’am.”

           Ah, that checks out.

           Hoseok’s father would be stepping down as the East-Asia representative on the international board of Art and Artifacts (basically the equivalent of the U.N. in art terms), leaving a spot open for Hoseok to ascend the ranks.

           “Why haven’t I met you before? Haven’t you been around for a while?”

           In order to complete the apprenticeship, Jungkook would need at least three years of working alongside Hoseok. Learning the ins and outs of being the curator of some of the biggest art collections and galleries in the world.

           “Yes ma’am, I have.”

           “Ok, Jungkook,” you stand up and stretch, gaining some sort of sick satisfaction from the way he scampers back a bit more to give you space. “Two things. First, I’m not ‘ma’am’. Just speak to me casually, ok?”

           There’s a flash of surprise in his eyes, but he nods. “And the second thing?”

           Turning point to the David in all his glory, you smirk over your shoulder. “Don’t sneak up on me when I’m working. David here nearly lost his balls because you startled me.”

           Cheeks flushed pink, Jungkook sputters out something resembling a “y-yes, I won’t do it again” before dropping his gaze to the floor. Chuckling to yourself, you resume your position before the sculpture, meticulously layering on a protective substance to the David’s nether regions.

           You and Hoseok had been called over to Italy in order to make preparations for the upcoming art show. It was to be the first of its kind --- never before had these timeless artworks been on display like this. Royalty, presidents, dignitaries of every kind mixed with world-class celebrities would be present.

           As a precaution you were going through and applying a protective but clear substance to more fragile parts of the artworks. Today, the David was the lucky one.

           “So, Jungkook,” you hum, completely undeterred by the strange position you were in at the moment. “What brings you over to my side of the museum today? Shouldn’t you be off with Hoseok, planning for the event?”

           “Ah, well…Mr. Jung said you might need a hand. I volunteered to assist you with whatever you need.”

           You blink. Hoseok had always been completely content to leave you to your work. It was a silent agreement you have: you let him do his thing, and he doesn’t interfere with your stuff.

           “Huh.” You smooth out the final touches, leaning back a bit. “Interesting. So what, you’re just hanging out with me for the rest of the day?”

           “Yep. For the rest of the week, actually.”

           David stares off into the distance, ever stoic. You swear you can see a bit of a confused glint in his eye as the sculpture listens in on your conversation. It’s always just been you and the artwork. So what’s this with Hoseok sending Jungkook over? Is he just trying to be kind and help you out?

           Probably. There’s no need to assume anything else. You just think…

           Well, despite trusting you, you would think he’d send someone less attractive to help you with your work. Is this some sort of trust exercise he’s pulling on you before he proposes? Or does he just not care enough to think about the possible repercussions of his actions?

           “Doesn’t he care at least a little bit?” You think aloud, frowning up at David.

           “What was that?”

           “Oh,” you swivel around to give Jungkook an apologetic smile. “Nothing. Do me a favor?” Jungkook nods. “Take a look at this for me, see if the extra layer is noticeable at all.”

           Getting up to move out of his way, you can’t help the grin that breaks out as Jungkook flushes a bit when he gets up close and personal with the David. Despite his obvious embarrassment though, he meticulously checks ever angle.

           “I can’t tell at all,” he finally responds, straightening up. “You’re amazing.”

           You blink. “Oh. Er…thanks.”

           “So, where to next?”

~~

           “We look like those ancient plague doctors,” Jungkook jokes, hanging you a bottle of clear liquid before you can even ask for it. “You know, like with the big beaks and stuff?”

           You snort, which in turn fogs up the inside of your suit. Waiting a moment for it to clear up, you glance back at Hoseok’s apprentice.

           He has a point. The two of you look slightly ridiculous, in your full body Hazmat suits that are necessary to inspect these ancient papyrus scrolls. They’re falling apart already, no need for you to contaminate them with something as feeble as a sigh. Once you’re finished working on them, they’ll be placed in thick Plexiglas cases which will keep them safe from the outside world.

           “We’re missing the beaks, though.”

           Jungkook hums, watching you carefully as you smooth out the scroll. “I bet we could roll these up and use them as beaks.”

           “Not funny.”

           “Worth a shot.”

           Rolling your eyes again; something you’ve become prone to doing in the past 24 hours you’ve known Jungkook, you set to work.

           It’s only quiet for so long before Jungkook speaks up again. He does so quietly, making good on his promise not to startle you anymore. “No Beethoven today?”

           You give a slight shake of your head, hardly daring to blink while applying the syrupy liquid to the bottom corner of the document. The slightest mess up would result in having to scrape it off before it dries, which is something you don’t want to have to try. Not when a single nick to the papyrus equals game over.

           Letting out a sigh of relief once you’ve completed that section, you sit back and stretch. “No,” you groan out mid-yawn. “It felt like a Tchaikovsky kind of day. Don’t know why.”

           “Hmm.”

           “Ok, we need to wait…” you glance at the clock on the wall. “About an hour to let that completely set in before flipping it and working on the other side.”

           “Great, let’s grab some lunch.”

           You blink, watching Jungkook as he shoots to his feet and heads toward the door. “I was going to suggest we get started on the next exhibit-”

           “Food first,” Jungkook chimes, leaving no room for argument as your stomach rumbles at the thought of lunch. “We’re literally in Italy, food always comes first.”

           Well, he has a point.

           You make a point of locating Hoseok before heading out for food, eventually finding him in a grand corridor surrounded by staff. Wherever Hoseok is, there’s constant motion. People flitting about, running errands and trying to keep everything moving in a timely fashion.

           As the two of you became closer work partners over the past few years, it’s become a familiar sight. It helps, finding Hoseok is usually fairly easy. Today proves no different.

           “Hoseok!” You wave him down, offering a smile to the surrounding staff that recognize you. The man in question is nudged by his assistant, Joshua.

           “Hey!” Hoseok breaks away from the group and jogs over to where you stand beside a column. He nods at Jungkook, smiling warmly. “What’re you two up to? I thought you were working the papyrus today.”

           “We have an hour before we can move on to the next thing, so we’re grabbing lunch. Wanna come?”

           “Oh,” the look of surprise on his face gives you cause to wonder when the last time you invited him to do something with you was. “That sounds…really nice, actually. Give me a minute?”

           Your heart stumbles as it pick up in speed, something you weren’t anticipating. “Yeah, sure. We’ll wait right here.”

           “Great, thanks.”

           With that, he scurries back over to the throng. Jungkook leans over to you, elbow nudging your arm.

           “What?”

           “How long do you think they’ll last before calling him?” Jungkook muses, an amused smile on his face.

           You can’t help but laugh, knowing full well that it won’t be long. “I’d say…thirty minutes?”

           “Really? I’ll give them forty.”

           “You’re too generous.”

           “Aren’t you being too hard on them?”

           Your eyes slide over to Jungkook, arching a brow. “No. So what are we betting?”

           Jungkook breathes through his teeth, taking in your determined expression. “Hmmm…money or something else?”

           “Not money, that’s too boring.”

           “Ok, ok.” Crossing his arms, Jungkook sways from side to side as he thinks. Slowly, his eyes drag across your face, trying to see something that’s beneath the surface. “If you lose, you have to be my date to the gala.”

           “W-what?!” You choke on your spit, staring up at Jungkook like he just grew a second head. “I can’t- why would you-”

           He tilts his head to one side, clearly enjoying your shock. “Hurry, make your bet. What happens if you win?”

           “Jungkook, I’m literally marrying Hoseok in a few months, I can’t just go as someone else’s date!”

           “Don’t worry,” he winks, only furthering your embarrassment, “I’ve it all planned out. Now, hurry up. He’s heading back.”

           Indeed, Hoseok is clapping Joshua on the shoulder and turning this way. Chewing furiously on the inside of your cheek, you blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. “Ok, well if I win then you have to leave me alone for the rest of the week!”

           There’s a hint of worry that streaks across Jungkook’s features, but it’s covered up a few seconds later as he thrusts out his hand to shake on it. “Deal.”

           With the way he grins down at you, you can’t help but feel like this was a stupid thing to bet on.

~~

           You’re wedged into a booth not long after, sitting shoulder to shoulder with Hoseok. Jungkook takes the spot across from you two, never missing a beat in his conversation with your betrothed.

           “The guest list has been finalized,” Hoseok is saying, smiling warmly at the server that drops off some menus. You don’t miss the way she ogles your companions, shrugging it off. It’s become a common occurrence. You’re not blind to their looks.

           “It wasn’t finished before?” You ask, frowning. Hoseok passes a menu to you, leaning in a bit closer. It’s unnecessary, but the way he lets his leg rest against yours has a rush shooting through you.

           So…this is a new development.

           “No,” Jungkook answers for him. “Well, we thought it was, but then the curator here wanted to invite some more political officials. Has it been a mess trying to rearrange?”

           “Yeah, but everyone pulled their weight.”

           “That’s good to hear.”

           It’s relatively quiet as you all look over your menus, bouncing ideas off of each other for what they should get. After you’ve placed your orders, Hoseok nudges you.

           “Your mother called me last night.”

           Your eyes widen. “She did?”

           Both men chuckle at your obvious worry. “Yes, she did. We had a nice chat. Why do you look so concerned?”

           Perhaps it has something to do with the last conversation you had with your mother. It took place about three weeks ago, when she’d come up to Seoul for a visit. The visit had been pleasant enough; you’d gone to dinner and talked about things back home. She’d actually approved of your apartment, despite the eclectic feel to it.

           It has almost been too normal. You should’ve known that it was only a matter of time before something happened.

           You were busy putting your leftovers from the restaurant in the fridge, your mother hovering in the doorway to the kitchen with a pensive look on her face.

           “Have you ever had…doubts?”

           “Doubts?” Your voice was muffled from the odd angle, but you peeked out around the door of the fridge with a questioning look. “About what?”

           Your mother shrugged, keeping her eyes trained on the door of the fridge and its decorative magnets. “About Hoseok.”

           You immediately stood, closing the door with a dull thud. “What?”

           “I just…your wedding is coming up, he’s probably going to propose within the next couple of months – for heaven’s sake, you have your dress fitting coming up in just a couple of weeks, isn’t that right?”

           “Mom,” you voice was stern. “What is this about? You’re scaring me.”

           At your confession your mother finally met your eyes. “Oh, sweetie, I didn’t mean to worry you so much. But I can’t help but wonder, you know? We’ve never really talked about it-”

           “There was never anything to talk about!” You sigh, exasperated. “All I’ve known is that I’m going to end up with Hoseok, and that’s that! He’s a nice man, hardworking, and we make a good team.”

           “I know, darling. I know.” She hesitated before stepping forward, coming to place a loving hand on your cheek. “I just want you to know that you get to make this decision. Even though it may not have always felt like it. There is…more. Out there, for you.”

           More?

           “Just, uh…” you shake your head, trying to clear your mind of those thoughts rolling around your head. “Wanted to make sure she didn’t share any embarrassing information about me.”

           This makes both men chuckle, Jungkook leaning forward with eager eyes. “Like what? Do tell.”

           You blush at his undivided attention, groaning and slipping down further in your seat. Hopefully neither of them notice your pink cheeks, something tells you that Jungkook would never let you live it down.

           The fact that you don’t know how Hoseok would react has you even more on edge.

           Hoseok grins at you as you sit up again, reaching around your shoulders to pull you close. “Aw, you probably don’t have any embarrassing stories. We all already know that you’re perfect.”

           You blink, staring up at your betrothed as his smile softens. He’s never spoken to you like this. First sending extra help in the form of Jungkook, then dropping everything to go to lunch, now this?

           Before your mind can run with the idea blooming in your chest, your server appears with your food. Her eyes instantly zone in on you and Hoseok, something registering in her eyes as she offers you a warm smile. Then, she turns her full attention on Jungkook. Practically eating him alive as she sets his food down in front of him.

           “Your hair is so long,” she muses. “I’ve never seen anyone able to pull off hair like that…what’s your secret?”

           Jungkook, who you assumed would preen in the attention, hardly glances the girl’s way. His eyes rest on where Hoseok’s hand ghosts over your shoulder, slow in its retreat. Jungkook keeps a neutral expression, although his eyes shoot up to yours in a way that has you pinned to the back of the booth.

           It’s over just as quickly as it began, Jungkook grinning down at his food and mumbling, “No secret. Just good genes.” He doesn’t wait another second before diving into his food. You snort at his reply, Hoseok just shaking his head before beginning to eat in a more meticulous manner. If he noticed the strange exchange that just passed between you and Jungkook, he doesn’t say anything.

           Or maybe it was all in your head. Maybe that protective coating you applied to the papyrus earlier today has gone straight to your head, addling your brain.

           The food is delicious, as expected. The three of you fall into an easy conversation, revolving mainly around work. You notice that Jungkook keeps checking his phone, but you ignore it.

           That is, until he offers you a smug smile before focusing his attention on Hoseok.

           “So, for this gala…we’re meant to bring a plus one, right?”

           Hoseok nods. “Yep.”

           “Who’re you taking?”

           Hoseok laughs, taking a long sip of his drink. “Who? I don’t know, I feel like I should maybe take the woman I’m marrying in a few months.” He shoots you a friendly wink, but you can’t completely return his light-hearted nature. Has it already been forty minutes? But still, there’s been no call…

           “Oh,” a familiar ringtone cuts through the air, and Hoseok grabs his phone from his pocket, frowning at the screen. “It’s Joshua. I’ll just step outside for a moment.”

           Hoseok is too busy sliding out of the booth to notice the way your jaw drops. The second he’s out of sight, you turn an accusatory glare toward Jungkook. “What was that? Did you seriously tell them to call-”

           “Before you castrate me, I’d like to defend myself. Can I do that?”

           “And then I can castrate you?”

           Jungkook visibly swallows. “I only meant it hypothetically, but…just listen.” When you angrily wave for him to continue, the smug smile from earlier reappears on his face. “I have this all under control. But, from where I’m sitting, I won our little bet. So I have a question for you.”

           “I’m not going with you, Hoseok is taking me!”

           Pushing his tongue against his cheek, Jungkook sits back and observes you for a moment. “Don’t be so sure about that, sweetheart. Now, what color of dress are you wearing to this thing?”

~~

           You do your best to ignore Jungkook for the rest of the day. Hoseok chats happily with you on the walk back to the museum, occasionally finding a way to let his hand graze yours. It’s enough to keep you distracted from Jungkook’s complacent expression which is usually directed in your direction.

           Parting from Hoseok is like parting with a security blanket, and he looks to be particularly pleased with the way you run your hand down his arm before bidding him goodbye. Jungkook huffs a breath, which goes unnoticed by your betrothed as he heads into the building where countless workers wait for him.

           “I’m still waiting on an answer,” Jungkook chides a few moments later. You’re desperately trying to outpace him, annoyed when he easily keeps up.

           “You’re not getting one and we’re not going together.”

           “Didn’t I tell you that I’d take care of it? Everything. Even Hoseok.” You stop in your tracks when Jungkook jumps in front of the doors, opening one up with a flourish.

           “Jungkook.”

           “Yes, darling?” It’s infuriating how much you react to the pet name, your reddening cheeks giving you away instantly.

           “Stop.”

           Jungkook blinks, straightening up a bit as you sweep past him and head inside. When he’s silent the entire walk to the papyrus lab, you let out a sigh of relief. Never mind the fact that there’s a dull disappointment blooming in your chest. For a moment, it was nice to think of what a night at Jungkook’s side could be like.

           It would certainly be different than what you’re used to with Hoseok. Not that you two often spend occasions like this together, it’s more of a formality than anything. The first few minutes are always a dream: Hoseok can’t take his eyes off of you and gets flustered. He’s a perfect gentleman, and even goes so far as to hold you close to him when entering the event.

           However, it only takes a few minutes before he’s swept off in one direction and you the other. Collogues, board members, and possible buyers of the rare artwork on display keep you two busy and apart for the entirety of the night.

           You make to step into the prep room, ready to get back into your hazmat suit and start on the other side of the papyrus scrolls. The moment you step in, however, the thought of being stuck in such a small space with Jungkook nearly makes your lightheaded. Focus is paramount in your line of work, and Jungkook counts as a distraction.

           “Would you go around to the sculptures we worked on yesterday and make sure they’re doing ok?” You glance over your shoulder to see Jungkook freeze in the doorway. “I, uh…I never know how they’re going to respond to the added layer.”

           Jungkook has lost all of his previous swagger, simply giving you a curt nod before turning to walk away. You can’t help but watch as he briskly heads down the hallways, running his hands through his hair before fisting them at the nape.

           You jump a little as the door closes, lost in your thoughts. Rushing back to you are your mother’s words.

           “There is…more. Out there, for you.”

           The words settle for a moment before you snort, chuckling to yourself before putting one leg in the hazmat suit. “They’re both hot. So what?”

~~

           Two more days pass in a similar fashion. Jungkook is always waiting for you at the entrance to the museum, resembling an eager puppy before you shut him down with a stern look.

           Last night you spent a ridiculous amount of time coming up with errands you could send him on that wouldn’t seem too suspicious. For the most part it’s worked; you’ve been working alone for most of the day, and Jungkook hasn’t seemed too keen to intrude.

           A part of you feels a bit bad for shutting him out so much, but you really have no reason to let him in. Especially not when he was so set on taking you to the gala when you’re very clearly promised to another.

           “Does he have something against Hoseok?”

           Your question is directed to your current project, The Incoronation of the Virgin, by Jacopo di Cione.  Of course, the virgin humbly sitting with a crown on her head pays you no mind, but you carry on anyway.

           “But then again, why would he? He’s getting his job, isn’t he?” You sit back, lightly dusting at the finer details of the mural. “Oh, maybe he’s angry at me.”

           “Why would I be angry at you?”

           You gasp as you stumble back, losing your footing from where you were on a stepping stool. You gasp louder (if that’s possible) when two sturdy hands grab your waist, firmly keeping you in place.

           “Steady?”

           “Why do you keep sneaking up on me?” You seethe, stepping down and out of Jungkook’s grasp. “Did I ask you to finish cleaning the bottles we used yesterday?”

           “I finished that.”

           “And what about sweeping the work area?”

           “Done.”

           “What about-”

           “Done,” Jungkook looks like he’s considering taking another step, but stays put. “I finished everything. Now would you quit sending me away?”

           You give him a long look, noting the way his cheeks burn under your gaze. After a moment you sigh. “Yeah, fine.”

           Jungkook perks up instantly, and a second later you find him glued to your side. He gazes up at the panel you’ve been working on, his mouth dropping of its own accord.

           “Wow, it’s beautiful.”

           “Mmhm.” You head back up the step stool, getting back to work while Jungkook holds it steady. He admires the artwork, leaving you in relative peace.

           “How did you get into this stuff?” He asks from the other end of the painting. You arch a brow before furrowing it, trying to come up with a reasonable answer.

           “I…well, this is what my family does.”

           “Uh-huh.”

           “Well, I guess they tend to lean more toward the buying and selling of artwork. From my teen years I’ve always gravitated more toward the conservation of artwork.”

           “Why’s that?” The fact that he sounds genuinely interested throws you off, making you pause as you meet his curious gaze. There’s no malice in his eyes, not a hint of the annoying pride from two days prior. Just genuine interest.

           It gives you a falling sensation, which has you clinging to the stool until it passes.

           “It’s quiet. Peaceful, for the most part.”

           “But it’s stressful, too?”

           The beginnings of a smile curl at your lips. “Yes, that too.”

           A companionable silence falls between the two of you after that, allowing for you to work quickly and efficiently. Once you’re satisfied with the panel, you find Jungkook ready to hold the stool steady while you get down.

           “What about you?” The question falls from your lips before you really understand what you’re asking.

           “Me?”

           “Yeah. Why did you decide to become an apprentice? It’s a long apprenticeship. And last I checked, curating isn’t exactly a hot trend.”

           Jungkook scrunches his nose in a way that has you wondering if what you just said was somehow absolutely adorable. He certainly thinks it was.

           “Well, there are a number of reasons.” He glances sidelong at you as you gather your things to head back to the storage space. “But mainly because it felt right.”

           You frown. “That’s your reason?” Jungkook nods, amusement glittering in his eyes. “What happens when you wake up and it doesn’t feel right anymore?”

           “Why? Do you know the feeling?”

           Suddenly you know that you’re no longer talking about career choices. It’s only confirmed when Jungkook slows to a stop, hoisting up the bucket of supplies and facing you.

           “I- no, I love my job-”

           “Haven’t you ever wondered, though?” Now it’s practically impossible to decipher what exactly is going on behind Jungkook’s bright eyes, his long brown hair falling into his face. “There’s more out there, you know. Why do you stay?”

           For some reason, you’re frozen in place. A deer in the headlights, probably reading way too much into this conversation.

           “S-stay?”

           “Yeah,” Jungkook takes a small step forward, as though afraid of scaring you off. “After all this time, you’re still here. Why?”

           Your breath is caught in your throat. “I…” The world stops spinning as Jungkook tilts his head to one side, eyes swallowing you whole as they trace the outline of your lips. Despite not laying a single finger on you, your skin blazes as though he were physically reaching out.

           With a step back, you glare at the floor before taking a steeling breath. “The retirement plan’s great. Hard to pass up on.”

           The sound of your footsteps echo off the walls, listening for Jungkook to follow after you.

           He doesn’t.

~~

           “So, about the gala.” Hoseok stands in the doorway to your hotel room, tie long gone and top button loosed. It’s a rare sight, and yet it never fails to be one of your favorites. “I have a weird proposition for you.”

           You kick off your shoes, not bothering with decency as you fall back on your bed with a groan. “Shoot.”

           “Jungkook has this really prestigious cousin that’s connected to the royal family-”

           “Royal family?” You sit up, frowning at Hoseok.

           “Yeah, like the British one? I think so, at least. Anyway, I don’t remember how she’s connected but it’s a big deal. And apparently she asked for me to escort her at the gala.”

           If blood could run cold, yours is pushing freezing. “Huh. Is that so.”

           Hoseok gives you an apologetic smile. “I know it’s weird and that’s why I came to you, I don’t want to hurt you-”

           “I’ll just go by myself, it’s fine.”

           “No, no. You’re not going alone. Jungkook already offered to take you.”

           You chew on the inside of your cheek, resolve withering at the sight of Hoseok’s tentative hope. You wonder if he would really back down if you asked to go with him. To let Jungkook’s schmoozing cousin find a different date.

           “Just say the word,” Hoseok offers with a fading smile. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

           For some reason, your ears expect to hear the word darling at the end of that sentence. But they don’t, and you know exactly where you can go for that.

           More, huh?

           “That’s fine, Hoseok. Really. What’s one night?”

           Hoseok rushes forward with glee, wrapping you in his arms for a second before backing away and heading toward the door. “You’re amazing, you know that? Absolutely amazing. The guests are going to be in awe of your work.”

~~

           The guests are, unsurprisingly, oblivious to your meticulous work.

           You’re not complaining, they’re not meant to notice it. Your work is behind the scenes, whereas Hoseok’s work is visible everywhere.

           His handywork acts as a constant reminder of him, keeping you on edge as you trail up the flower-studded stairs that are already overflowing with guests. A few give you odd looks as you walk alone, but most are too preoccupied with their own problems to care much for yours.

           You don’t know how he did it, but Jungkook managed to get you all to himself after all. The thought had left an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach all day yesterday at work, hardly bothering to exchange more than a few words with the man in question. It seemed like he had almost anticipated this, content to leave you be. It was when he asked what time he should pick you up that you looked at him, angry at the fact that you immediately admired his outfit of choice. It suited him, which shouldn’t have come as such a surprise.

           “I’ll meet you there,” you had responded firmly, hopefully leaving no room for argument. “Wait for me beside the entrance.”

           It was bad enough that you were going without your betrothed; that another woman was going to be hanging off his arm all night. The last thing you wanted was to create an equally flashy arrival with his apprentice. You were by no means the most popular guests in attendance tonight, but the guarantee of countless cameras had you refraining from taking any chances.

           Now, as you make your way to the entrance, you try to not look too eager. Jungkook is nowhere to be found yet, making you frown, but movement catches your attention in the corner of your eye.

           Stepping from the shadows is Jungkook, looking like he was made for this event. The first thing you notice about him is the wistful smile he gives you, which you return before your mind catches up with what’s going on.

           He looks…immaculate. Not over-the-top, he’s wearing a fairly standard black suit with a thin black tie. Nothing too flashy, but it might as well be an original piece with the way he wears it. His hair has been carefully styled, so unlike the careless mop you’ve seen throughout this week.

           Jungkook moves toward you like a man on a mission while you remain at the top of the stairs, hardly daring to breathe.

           “Hello,” he mutters, coming to a stop before you. “You look…stunning. Absolutely stunning.”

           He doesn’t wait for a response, perhaps already knowing that your tongue has turned leaden in his presence. Jungkook offers you his arm, which you graciously take. Hopefully he doesn’t pay too much attention to the way you’re gripping his forearm for dear life.

           The two of you sweep inside, gaining easy access as you’re well acquainted with the staff. As you pass a long, tall mirror that’s flanked by sphinxes, you can’t help but glance over.

           You do look stunning.

           The red gown you wear isn’t too revealing, not too flashy, but calls attention to you just the same. No matter where you are tonight, Hoseok will be able to find you with ease. The thought fills you with a sick sort of satisfaction. He’ll see you, but he’ll see who’s arm you’re on, as well.

           With Jungkook by your side, you’re a force of nature. The two of you are no longer walking, rather prowling the premises as you make your way toward the ballroom. A few stragglers that are trying to get a peek at the closed off exhibits notice your keen eye and scamper off.

           It’s a new sensation to you, watching those people flee from before you as though you were an enemy soldier on a mission. Perhaps it has something to do with the way Jungkook appears to be smoldering beside you, emitting a dangerous aura that you never realized he could give off. For a brief moment, the silly boy you’ve been actively avoiding this week has vanished. In his wake stands a man with a purpose, the successor to the famed Jung Hoseok, and a legitimate contender amongst art dealers.

           “I’m not used to this,” you mutter as Jungkook continues in his path. His steps are timed perfectly to your own, and you wonder if that’s a mere coincidence or if he’s currently keeping count in his head.

           “Used to what?” Even his voice has turned to a dangerous rasp, smoky eyes sliding over to observe you.

           “People respecting personal space. Usual they all flock to Hoseok the second he walks in the door.”

           The corner of his lips pull up in a smirk. “And which do you prefer?”

           You sigh. “Are you seriously turning this into a competition?”

           You’re almost to the ballroom, but you let out a surprised sound when you veer off course into a deserted corridor just above the stairs that lead down into the ballroom. You realize that he’s taking you across a small overlook which shows the ballroom, a flurry of suits and dresses writhing before you on the level below. It’s a mesmerizing sight, and upon instinct you seek out Hoseok.

           Jungkook notices your search, pausing to allow you to look around a bit more. He studies your side profile carefully. “Is that such a bad thing?” It takes you a moment to realize that he’s referring to the competition.

           There’s Hoseok, sure enough he’s weaving in and out of the crowd. People smile and clap him on the back, making space for him and his companion to get through.

           Jungkook’s cousin, Margaret, stays close behind your betrothed. She even goes so far as to hold onto his hand, offering him a shy smile when he looks back at her questioningly. However, he does nothing to shake her off.

           “Yes,” you answer. Then, “He never took me along with him.”

           “You mean at events like these?” Jungkook stands beside you at the railing, eyes instantly finding the “he” you’re referring to. “I know. You two usually go your separate ways.”

           The nonchalant manner with which he comments this has you turning to face him, confusion clear on your face. “How could you know that?”

           Jungkook frowns, popping his knuckles as he refuses to look at you. “Isn’t it pretty common knowledge? You two are both prominent members of the art community that hardly have time for each other. The rest is fairly simple to figure out.”

           You step to the side, granting yourself enough space to glare up at the man.

           “Fairly simple? Jungkook, I don’t know why you think you can make assumptions about my relationship with Hoseok, but there’s no need to do so. You’re right, we’re both busy. But we’re happy. Why do you seem so intent on making me second guess that? Why is everything a competition with you?”

           You’re surprised when Jungkook doesn’t step down like he usually does. Instead he straightens up, leaning in a bit closer while his eyes bore into your own. You swallow, pressing your nails into the palm of your hand when his gaze tracks the movement of your throat.

           “Calling it a competition might be a bit crass,” Jungkook mutters, voice coming out much softer than you anticipated. “But I guess you can say that. Sure, it’s a competition. As of right now, there are no clear winners.”

           “But what are you two competing for?” You ask, exasperated. “There’s no need to go after Hoseok, Jungkook. You’re getting his position in just a few months, you’ll have the same influence he does now. I don’t understand. Why go to such great lengths? Are you trying to usurp him or something?”

           Jungkook finds a way to step impossibly closer, one hand gripping the railing while the other finds your hand. “Which would you deem more valuable: your hand in marriage or your heart?”

           Dangerous, this is dangerous, your heart chides. Despite the warning, you can’t help but sneer and step impossibly closer. There’s a spark of anger deep within you, and if it wasn’t for your current predicament you would stop for a moment and wonder when the last time you felt such an intense emotion was, but you press on.

           “I wasn’t aware that I had to choose,” you seethe. You swallow a gasp as Jungkook leans in, nose nearly bumping against yours.

           You can see whole galaxies in those eyes of his. Glinting and shining under the light of the chandelier, stars begging for you to come dance. What would happen if you danced under his stars? Something tells you that you don’t want to find out.

           “That’s not an answer,” Jungkook breathes out.

           “I’m sorry, what that not good enough for you?”

           He blinks, an amused smirk painting his features. “You’re angry. Good.”

           “Good?” You sputter out, taking a small step back and finding it infinitely easier to breathe now that there’s some distance between you two. “You wanted me to be angry?”

           Shrugging, Jungkook rolls his neck from side to side, looking casual as ever. As though you weren’t just about to bite his nose off if he were to say one more stupid thing.

           “Anger is an emotion. I count that as a win. Now,” he extends his hand out with a flourish, “shall we dance?”

           “No.”

           “I’d rethink that answer if I were you, darling.” Jungkook makes a point of looking out over the railing, and your eyes unwillingly follow his line of sight.

           There’s Hoseok, spinning Margaret around and around. His smile is wide, and you can hear his laughter from up here.

           He has no idea that you’re up here fighting for your marriage, does he?

           Again, that anger is stoked until it’s steadily consuming you. With a huff that sounds more akin to a grown, you take Jungkook’s hand.

           “One. Dance.”

~~

           One turns into two, and two turns to four. The music lilts and does almost all the work, Jungkook picking up the slack as he moves your through the songs. You can hardly tell where one ends and another begins, all you know is two things.

1.     You’re still angry, however it’s being steadily replaced by confusion.

2.     Hoseok and Margaret stopped dancing a while ago, and they currently stand off to the side trying to make it look like they’re not watching you.

“Your cousin appears to be very concerned about you,” you pant, the dancing finally taking its toll. Jungkook glances sidelong, chuckling darkly.

“That’s probably because she’s not my cousin and I told her she would only have to stay for an hour or so.”

If Jungkook’s hand at your back wasn’t propelling you forward, you’re sure you would’ve stopped dead in your tracks.

“What?”

There’s a twinkle of amusement in those galaxy-filled eyes of his. “She is connected to the royal family; I’ll give her that much. But she’s not my cousin. Just an old friend helping out with a favor.”

You’re not sure if you should laugh or cry.

After a moment, you settle for easing out of Jungkook’s grasp with the excuse to use the restroom. The sound of your heels on the marble floor is drowned out as the live band pick up a lively tune, causing a new rush of people to the dance floor. Somehow you manage to weave your way toward the hallway where you think you remember seeing a restroom sign, unaware of someone hot on your heels.

You’re reaching out for the door when you feel a hand at your elbow. It stops you mid-step, pulling you in an entirely different direction. Gasping, you whirl about to see Hoseok with a grim expression. He doesn’t utter a word, marching the two of you toward a dark corner.

“Hoseok, you scared me!” You whisper-shout, entirely unsure of why you’re whispering in the first place. Perhaps it has something to do with the secluded area he’s led you to, not a single soul in sight.

Once you’ve turned the corner, Hoseok presses your back against the wall, peeking around the corner toward the faint light of the festivities. The sound of trombones and cellos echo around the corridor, making you feel like you’re experiencing a memory rather than living this moment in real time.

When Hoseok turns back to face you, you note the way his hair is mussed. You immediately begin to smooth it out with a frown. He’s usually so meticulous about his hair during events like this.

His eyes soften a bit at your ministrations, but his face is still flushed. “Are you enjoying yourself tonight?”

“I- no…?”

“That’s odd,” Hoseok tilts his head to one side, eyes pinning you to the wall better than his hands. “You certainly look like you are.”

You blink. “I do?”

He lets out a choked laugh, the sound seeming so at odds with his typical demeanor. “Are you that oblivious? The way you’ve been staring at him all night certainly makes it seem like you’re drinking in every moment.”

“S-staring? At who?”

“Jungkook!” You flinch a little when Hoseok raises his voice, but he doesn’t notice as he pinches his eyes shut. “Just…be a little more cautious, ok?”

“I…”

When you’re silent, Hoseok opens his eyes. He lets out a shaky breath, head bobbing to one side in a habit which you’d always found endearing. Now, though, it’s as good as a death sentence as he steps a little closer. Slowly, so slowly you want to scream, his eyes dip down to your lips.

“No,” he mutters to himself, so quietly that you wonder if he doesn’t realize that he’s speaking his thoughts aloud. “Not here.”

Pushing back from the wall, Hoseok steps away and leaves you with a lingering stare before he’s disappearing around the corner. Your ears strain to listen to his retreating steps, but they’re quickly overtaken by the music and chatter of the crowd.

“What just happened?” You whisper to yourself. After a moment, you ease out of the corridor, scurrying toward the bathroom. Flinging open the stall, you stare down at the toilet wondering if you’re about to retch. With the way your stomach is churning, it’s definitely a possibility.

You emerge from the stall a moment later, feeling no better than when you went in. If only you could splash some water on your face, that would probably help clear up your head. However, you’ve still got a few hours ahead of you. The event is nowhere near ending.

The door swings open as you brace yourself against the sink, and you look up in the mirror to see who just walked in behind you. Margaret pauses for a second as she meets your eyes, the door drifting shut at her back.

“I was hoping you were still in here,” she drawls, her posh accent instantly making you want to stand up straight.

“Well, here I am.”

You wince; your voice sounds horrible. Like you’ve been screaming for hours, when you haven’t hardly said a word in the past hour. No, according to Hoseok you’ve been too busy staring.

Margaret chuckles, coming to the sink beside you and running the faucet. “Look, I’ll make this quick. Jungkook has been waiting around for you for long enough, and to be frank I’m sick of hearing about it. If I were you, I’d make up my mind sooner rather than later.”

You’re sick of asking questions, but it appears that that’s all you have for tonight. “What?” You stare at Margaret, who looks almost other-worldly in her deep blue gown. “I just met Jungkook this week, I think you’re mistaken.”

“You just- what?”

It’s nice to see that someone else looks a little confused for once. You thought you were the only one out of the loop, but judging by the look on Margaret’s face, she’s just joined the club.

“Like I said,” you say, leaning one hip against the sink. “I just met Jungkook a few days ago. Hoseok sent him over to assist me in getting everything ready for the gala.”

“But he said…” Margaret shakes her head, focusing in on you once again. “Don’t tell him I said anything to you, alright?”

Before you even have a chance to answer, Margaret is sweeping out the door and leaving you behind in a stunned stupor. Slowly, you turn to face the mirror again. Then, to your eternal horror, a toilet flushes.

Out ambles Scarlett Johansson, who shoots you a grin before promptly washing her hands. “Trouble in paradise?”

You snort, in disbelief. “Yeah. Yeah, you could say that.”

~~

It takes a while to find Jungkook, but then again that may be because you aren’t actually looking for him. No, you’re just floating around the venue in a daze when you hear his voice coming from a parlor to your right. Only a couple of dim lamps illuminate the interior, but you don’t bother to get a closer look as you recognize the other voice.

Margaret.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Jungkook? You just met her this week? You made it sound like you’ve been pining over her for years-”

“That’s because I have!” Jungkook hisses, the sound slithering out into the hallway. “I have, but she’s always just out of reach…”

“And what, you thought tonight would do the trick? Kook…look, you know I love you, but this is idiocy. She’s practically engaged to Jung Hoseok-”

“Jung Hoseok doesn’t know what he has, he’s never understood! I am the only one that really gets it, Margaret.”

“Yeah, well just because you get it Jungkook doesn’t mean you get her.”

There’s shuffling inside the room, causing you to back away into a dark corner to remain unseen. After a moment, Jungkook’s voice rings out again. This time, it’s a bit ragged, almost letting you taste the desperation in his tone.

“Margaret, please. I just- I just need time. Please, just give me more time.”

A pause, followed by a heavy sigh. “Fine. I hate you.”

“Love you, too.”

You’ve just managed to scamper around the corner when the door open and a little light floods out into the dim hallway. The sound of heels walking in the opposite direction of your hiding spot alerts you to Margaret’s retreat, making you wonder what exactly she has planned in order to allot Jungkook more time.

Once a couple of minutes that feel like eternity pass, you sneak out around the corner. Heart pounding and palms sweaty, you stare up at the ceiling as though you’ll find an answer there.

What are you even doing?

Before the answer comes you’re schooling your features into cool indifference and walking slowly toward the open door. It’s easy enough to spot Jungkook in the parlor, sitting with his head in his hands on the chaise.

You rap on the door, leaning against the doorframe as Jungkook’s head shoots up. The panic at your appearance doesn’t go unnoticed by you, but you pretend you haven’t noticed.

“I leave for two seconds and suddenly you’re sulking in an abandoned room?” You chide. “You much be more attached to me than I thought.”

Jungkook’s smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart. I was just taking a breather. We danced a lot, didn’t we?”

“True.” You stare at him from across the room, thinking back on Margaret’s words. Jungkook has been waiting around for you for long enough. “Tell me, Jungkook,” you stride inside, taking up the seat opposite him. “How come I never ran into you before this week? You’ve been around Hoseok for nearly three years at this point, haven’t you?”

Jungkook nods, his wide eyes completely disintegrating the dangerous persona he radiated earlier. “Yeah, almost three years. We’ve…crossed paths a few times, I think.”

You frown. “We have?”

“Only a handful of times,” Jungkook quickly reassures you, and the fact that he doesn’t want you to feel bad about not remembering him has you only growing more confused. Didn’t you just hate him half an hour ago? “We never spoke much.”

“Oh.”

Words – none of which amount to full sentences – rattle around your brain as you strive to come up with something more to say. Your brain is breaking down, information overload finally getting the best of you.

“Should we go back?” Jungkook asks in a small voice. Who even is the man, to change demeanors so quickly? “There’s still a lot of dancing left to do.” He adds a wink in at the end, regaining a bit of his swagger with every word.

Suddenly the memory of Hoseok’s conflicted face comes back to you, and you scramble to your feet. “No! Uh, I mean…” you look around the room but find nothing to help you. “I need to be more careful. I’ve been careless enough tonight.”

Jungkook frowns, almost getting on his feet. “What’s wrong? Did…did Hoseok say something to you?” When you don’t respond, Jungkook lets out a dry laugh. “Of course he did. Let me guess, he grabbed you as soon as you left my side, right? Jealous little-”

“Jungkook!” You gasp, stalking out of the room as he follows close behind. “He just wanted to protect our image, that’s all.”

“Ha! Really, that’s all? Sweetheart, has anyone ever told you just how oblivious you can be?”

“Ugh, just when I was starting to hate you less.”

“I’m serious! Sure, he might have said something about being careful, for your reputations. But that’s all just a cover-up! Can’t you see?”

The ballroom is just up ahead, and you make a beeline for it. “I see just fine, thank you very much. However, I wish I could’ve seen just how horrible tonight would be with you! I would have never agreed to that stupid bet!”

Speeding up, Jungkook jogs up in front of you to block your path. You step to your right, which he mimics. To the left, and again, he’s there to stop you.

“Let me through!”

Jungkook glares down at you, a fire blazing in his eyes. It reminds you of a dying star, some sort of supernova exploding in those galaxy irises. “No.”

“No?” You push against his chest, scowling when he doesn’t budge. “Jungkook, I’m too tired to play this game. Move aside.”

“Dance with me.”

He says it with such seriousness that you almost agree. “I already said that I can’t.”

“Please.” Bottom lip disappearing between his teeth, Jungkook’s shoulders slump. “C’mon, we’ll go where no one can see us.”

“That sounds like a terrible idea.”

Chuckling half-heartedly, Jungkook extends a hand. “I have plenty of them, trust me.”

~~

What started as one bad idea has turned into multiple.

Jungkook took you outside to some lonely balcony that wraps around the building. The doors are thrust open, allowing for some light as he takes you in his arms.

The music drifts up to where you sway, and you wonder how Jungkook even found this spot. It’s not far from the ballroom, but certainly not a common spot for people to wander off to. You ask him as much.

“I stumbled upon it when you sent me on all those dumb errands,” he explains, smiling lazily at you.

You chuckle, stifling a gasp as Jungkook spins you around. Once you’re nestled safely in his arms, you grin up at him. “I knew those would come in handy.”

It feels like whiplash, going through so many emotions tonight. You were set on loathing Jungkook for the rest of eternity until he managed to snag one of the chocolate fountains from the kitchens and bring it out here. A platter of strawberries sits off to the side, begging to be dipped and eaten.

“Strawberry?” Jungkook questions quietly, already reaching for one. You hum in confirmation.

A second later Jungkook is dipping it with an absurd amount of chocolate and bringing it to your lips. Your cheeks flush, but you tentatively open your mouth, awaiting the delicious-

“Hey!” You swat at Jungkook when he bops your nose with the strawberry, covering you in chocolate. He laughs merrily, throwing his head back at the stars before focusing on you.

“You look adorable,” he coos. “Here, eat.” Again he prods the strawberry at your lips, catching your hand in his as you go to clean off your nose. “Eat, I’ll get the chocolate off your nose in just a second. Patience.”

You roll your eyes, but allow him to feed the strawberry to you. At the first crunch and flood of sweet flavor, you close your eyes and ball up your fists into his suit jacket.

“Ah, so good.”

When you open your eyes again, Jungkook is frozen before you. His eyes alight on your lips, tongue wetting his own, following the way you lick up the extra chocolate. Then he looks at your nose, a forgotten smile on his face.

“Here,” he mumbles, reaching out to swipe the bit of chocolate from your nose. Without a second’s hesitation he brings it to his lips and devours it.

All is quiet. The music sounds more distant that ever, the dull chatter of tonight’s guests hardly registering in your brain as Jungkook’s eyes never leave your own.

Something stirs deep within you, something that goes much deeper than attraction or desire. Something stronger than the anger you felt earlier sparks in the pit of your chest, making you shiver.

The spot where Jungkook touched your nose tingles, and you wonder for a moment if it somehow looks different now. His touch lingers, the feeling sprouting something entirely new.

Jungkook continues to sway with you, the movement as singular as breathing. When he opens his mouth to whisper something to you, you can’t help but listen to every syllable that falls from his lips.

“I…I want you to feel when you’re with me,” he whispers. “I’m not picky. It can be any emotion. But I’ve seen you, how you are with him.” You flinch at the mention of Hoseok, but Jungkook holds you tighter and pushes through. “You’re empty around him. You play the game easily enough, but there’s nothing behind those words. I want you to feel.”

“Jungkook…”

“I know. I know how I sound. But this is all I have to give you, and I thought that if I could just get you to feel something again, it might be worth it.”

You find yourself drawing closer to him, some sort of unknown gravity pulling you together like a moon caught in his orbit. That’s what you are, aren’t you? Completely helpless, thrown into someone’s orbit and hoping that they notice you. Hasn’t that the way it’s always been, ever since you first laid eyes on Hoseok?

But Jungkook notices you. You know, just from the way his eyes widen as though trying to take more of you in, you know that you’re all he sees. He’s blinded, for some reason or another. Blinded by you, enthralled by your silent suffering and digging ceaselessly for a way out. There’s no doubt in your mind at this moment that he’d carry you far away from here if you just said the word.

How your hands wound up clinging to the nape of his neck, you’re not sure. Just as surprising is the painful tone of your voice as you cry out, "Jungkook, this is no way to live."

His hands are at your back, pressing you closer and closer. "I will live like this for as long as you want, darling.”

“Like what?” Are those tears rushing to your eyes? Too many emotions in such a short amount of time, you can’t keep up. It’s been so long since you’ve felt anything so intense. When was the last time? Perhaps there never was a time such as this. “Hiding away from everyone? Looking over your shoulder every second of every day, wondering when it’ll all fall apart?”

“I can live off of these stolen moments,” Jungkook whispers in awe, gently wiping away your tears. “I’ve been doing that for years. But I don’t know what you want, darling. Tell me what you want.”

“Jungkook,” you wriggle in his grasp, suddenly needing to get away, to breathe, “Jungkook, he’ll find out- we can’t do this. What even is this? I can’t…I don’t even know you!”

He lets you go, allowing you walk toward the edge of the balcony as you greedily gulp down air. After a moment, he speaks up.

“You’re feeling again, aren’t you?”

It’s a silly question. It sounds like he’s addressing a child, but it hits a little too close to home.

Feelings, thoughts, desperation and something deep and exciting courses through you. Yes. Yes, you’re feeling. “Yes. But who says I can’t feel with him?”

Jungkook is silent for a moment. “Who says it can’t be me, instead?” He strides toward you, your heart hammering as he gently cups your cheeks. Stars must cry because his eyes are shiny with tears. Gently, so gently your knees nearly buckle, he caresses your cheek with his thumb.

Smiling sadly, Jungkook whispers, “I love you.” He takes a shaky breath. “I always have. From afar, so I don’t know if that counts in your book. I loved you before we shared a conversation. I loved you the second I first overheard you talking to that unnamed painting on the third floor of the gallery back home. You know the one, don’t you?”

You’re not sure he fully expects an answer as he leans closer, which is all the better as you’re completely unable to provide him with one.

“I love you,” he repeats, wide eyes dropping to your lips. “I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I wake up to you every morning.”

As his lips first graze your own, you remember him.

Countless times, that how often you’ve seen him. Passed him in the hallway of the gallery, trailing behind a busy Hoseok. Offering you a shy, sweet smile which you immediately assumed was meant for someone else.

He seemed to good, too kind for you.

But here he is, lips pressed gently to yours with a promise hanging in the air.

He asks for nothing in return.

When he finally pulls away, you gaze up at him with teary eyes. “Why?”

He knows what you’re asking. Why would he bare his heart and soul to you when he knows you’re promised to another? When you’ve never acknowledged his existence before?

Jungkook shrugs, then leans in for a short peck. He pulls back, allowing you to see the stars in his eyes.

“You deserved to hear it, at least once.”

~~

Two Months Later

You have not heard those three words since, and you wonder if you ever will again. Glancing at Hoseok who peers down into the glass case, you don’t think you will. Hoseok will never love you.

He has you. He always has, you’ve been a constant in his life. What’s there to love about convenience?

He’s saying something to the jeweler, but the words are muffled. That’s how it’s been recently. People talk so much, but you hardly hear a thing. They so rarely say anything that matters.

Jungkook has been gone, still working to replace Hoseok, but off on business trips that you know aren’t necessary. Last you heard, Hoseok had sent him off to Mongolia on a wild goose chase for some long-lost painting. Chances are he wouldn’t be back for months.

Staring at the rings below you, you know that by then, it’ll be too late.

Hoseok is planning on proposing soon. You’re not exactly sure when, but it’ll be within a few weeks now. Perhaps sooner, you can’t tell.

When you leave the jeweler’s, Hoseok’s hand finds yours. He gives it a soft squeeze, but you can’t find quite enough strength to reciprocate the feeling.

He doesn’t comment on it.

In fact, the two of you hardly exchange two words until much later that evening when you dine together. It’s in his parent’s mansion, one of several. This is the one you’re meant to inherit upon getting married. The dining room is a bit too dark for your liking, but under the current circumstances, you bask in the shadows.

Hoseok is late to dinner. An uncommon thing, but you brush it off, quietly greeting him as he takes up his place across from you. When he doesn’t respond, you look up.

He’s already staring at you, but that’s not what sends a chill through your bones.

He’s looking at you with that sniper-like concentration that you only saw once before. It’s terrifying to be on the other side of that gaze; something you had hoped to never encounter.

“What’s wrong?” You mean to sound more caring, but the question comes out flat. Hoseok chews on his lip before releasing it.

He’s kissed you since the gala. He did as soon as the two of you boarded the plane, away from prying eyes.

It had been rushed and desperate, and you’d been shocked into stepping back, breaking the kiss sooner than he intended.

You’d stepped back and bumped into Jungkook, who gently caught you. Hoseok merely smiled warmly and explained that he thought you two were alone. Jungkook didn’t say a word.

Hoseok holds up a letter, unfolding it. “You received a letter today,” he responds. “Would you like me to read it to you?”

You frown, reaching out a hand but he’s too far away. “No, I’ll read it later-”

“My darling, I only just now found a post office that sends international letters. I apologize from the bottom of my heart, I hope you didn’t think I’d forgotten you.” Hoseok peeks at you from over the letter, arching an eyebrow. “You didn’t tell me you enjoyed pet names. Let’s see what else my apprentice has to say, shall we?”

“Hoseok-”

“Hold that thought,” Hoseok pulls a candle that burns in the center of the table closer to him, hovering the letter just above the flame. “Let’s continue. Something tells me that we’re just getting to the good part.”

“I hope this letter finds you before the wedding, although I can’t be sure. This post office looks a little sketchy, but it’s my best bet. Love, I told you once that I could live off of stolen moments. I can, I do. But I’m tired of begged and borrowed time at your side. Once was not enough.”

“How sweet. I never realized he had such a way with words.” Hoseok sighs wistfully, making you shudder.

“Run away with me, darling. Meet me in Italy, at the gallery. Come up with any excuse you possibly can – just find me. I’ll try to do my best to find a way out of this place, and I’ll wait for you every day. From open to close, I’ll be there. If you don’t come by the end of April, I’ll know that you decided to go forward with the marriage and I wish you all the happiness in the world. Just don’t forget: I love you. Wow, that was beautiful, wasn’t it? Who knew Jungkook was such a poet?”

Hoseok sighs again, meeting your horrified gaze. In one swift movement, he lets the bottom corner of the letter catch the flame. Smoke curls into the air, and you scramble to your feet.

“Hoseok!” You lunge for the letter, knocking over the candle in the process. With a shriek, you watch as the candle drops to the rug and catches fire. Rushing over, you begin to stomp out the flames.

“Let it burn,” Hoseok mumbles, still staring at the burning letter in his hands. “I always wanted to burn this house to the ground. It seems fitting to do so now.”

“You’ve lost your mind!” You shout, turning toward him once the rug is extinguished and snapping the letter from his hands. The flames bite as your fingertips, the letter unsalvageable. Hissing, you throw it into the fireplace.

“You know what?” Hoseok rises to his feet. “I think I will burn it down. Maybe move into one of those cramped apartments in the city. What do you think?”

“Hoseok, you’re not thinking straight. Let’s talk about this.”

His smile is melancholy, but for a moment his eyes clear up and you catch a glimpse of the Hoseok you’ve known for twelve years.

“Don’t you have packing to do?” With a shrug he adds, “I won’t tell if you don’t.”

“I-“ you stop mid-step. A series of choices flash before your eyes, but all you can see if Hoseok and the out he’s offering you.

Perhaps he wants to get out of this as much as you do.

As you pound up the stairs and begin to throw anything you can find into your bag, you realize that you may never know. You never did get to know the real Hoseok. His thoughts and inner feelings have remained a mystery to you.

When you rush out the door a few minutes later, Hoseok is already leaning against his car. There’s another car parked beside it, and he tosses you the keys. There are no parting words, no longing stares as he marches forward and strikes a match against the side of the house. Without fanfare, he tosses the flame inside the mansion. You watch with unabashed awe as he strides back to his car and hops in. There’s a small bag in the back, certainly not enough to hold his precious belongings.

Hoseok gives you a curt nod, tearing out of the driveway.

You’re gone before the sound of sirens cuts through the air.

~~

The Accademia Gallery is packed today, more so than you’ve ever seen it before. Of course, the main attraction is The David. Tourists crowd around, trying to find the best angle to take a photo, grinning widely.

All of them except for one, who stares up at the sculpture with a keen eye. His dark brown hair is shorter than it was a few months ago when he stood in a similar position.

“Jungkook!”

Somehow, amidst the din of the crowd, he hears you. The stars in his eyes are bright as he turns around, acting as a beacon as you push through the crowd. They gleam and sparkle, rivaled only by the wide smile that overtakes his features. Those eyes, so dangerous yet so lovely. They invite you to get lost in them, to dance under Jungkook’s galaxy.

This time, you think you will.

~~

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[matthewbeilschmidts]

It’s been a long while since I’ve posted but I’m so glad that I am :’)

This is for Day 1: of @prucanweek - Ordinary

Apologies for spelling errors, it’s a little short but I hope you enjoy 😭💞

-

Matthew doesn’t mind that he’s living an ordinary life. Really.

He grows up near the coast, two parents, a fraternal twin brother, and their gangly hairless cat, Tony (picked curtesy of Alfred). Their parents take them everywhere they can during their childhood, the beach, museums, sports game. They focus on their interests, figuring out what the two like and dislike, as they encourage them both to be themselves and do what they love no matter what. Alfred debates between whether he likes wrestling or football more, while Matthew settles into hockey. In between family get togethers, community festivals, and endless sports training, they somehow have time for homework. (The two share answers a lot.)

He and Alfred each have their own rooms when they enter their teen years, a space to decorate and fill with their own mementos and awards. The sports continue, but later their parents find themselves a little bit busier than before. They do though, give them as much time as they can during the school year, never wanting them to go without someone by their side.

Matthew fades into the background a little bit as they get older, while Alfred puts himself front and center. Matthew watches once with a hand over his eyes as Alfred auditions for the school musical, and surprisingly he read and sings the lines well. “It’s always the rowdy ones!” their theater teachers says after he’s finished performing, a mix of anticipation from planning on putting Alfred on stage and dread at the thought of having to manage him.

Matthew silently supports him, after all he has his own things to do.

He’s the co-caption of the hockey team, the coach giving him the position to give him a little more of a voice, and his teammates verbally agree, considering on the ice Matthew has a lot more to show than he does in person. He accepts, albeit hesitantly.

By the time graduation comes by, Matthew can barely believe how the time has passed. His team even wins a championship under his watch. Some of his fellow classmates look so ready to go out and experience the world, and it’s scary to him because weren’t they all going at the same pace?

His parents talk him through picking his college of choice, and he decides to go. He needs to do what everyone does and experience the world.

And if he decides he wants to come home, that’s okay because at least he tries.

-

He’s in his first art class during his third year at university. The time has been going well, he’s got pretty decent grades and has managed to join a few clubs. But he’s not done yet. Extra curriculars, can’t finish without them. He prioritizes his general education first, and even slips himself into a few major classes early on, but humanities is on record now and has to be completed no matter what one’s studying.

He can get through one semester, he hopes.

Next to him, a student is snickering and the professor doesn’t look amused.

“Gilbert.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“If you’re done, I can introduce myself now.”

The professor goes in with complete, in-depth introductory slides with her name and credentials, and a briefing of all they will overcome this semester.

He’s never been an artist, at least not one that picks up a pencil and creates a realistic masterpiece with nothing but that and a pad of paper. Maybe some poetry contests in high school, if that counts. The written word has its own impact, its own set of colors to breathe out for the world to see.

There’s another snicker, interrupting his internal monologue.

He doesn’t say anything, because he doesn’t know the student, and it’s not his place to control others. But, if it starts to hinder the class, maybe he’ll tell him something. He’s paying to be there, too.

The man catches him staring.

“Yes?” he asks Matthew without being spoken to in the first place.

“Oh,” Matthew flushes at being caught, not that he was trying to hide it anyway. “Well, she didn’t say anything funny?”

The guys waves a hand, making a “psssh” noise as he does.

“I’m just laughing because of how formal this all is. She won’t be this dignified later in the semester that’s for sure. She’ll be ripping her hair out.”

Matthew glances back, he doesn’t want to say anyone looks mean but, he would believe it if she was.

“You look scared,” the guy laughs, which is rude because isn’t he the one that just put the thought in Matthew’s mind? “She’s not too mean just a sticker to the rules. Will get real pissy if something doesn’t go right.”

“And you still set her off knowing that?”

The man laughs again, but this time around he’s actually trying to contain it behind the thin art easel. He’s not very hidden.

“She’s my cousin’s wife.”

Ah, that makes sense then? Messing with family is normal, but also he shouldn’t be bothering her at work.

“It’s no wonder you seemed casual.”

“She taught both of the lower division figure drawing classes, too. This is my third semester in her class. She’s the only one teaching this specific class I didn’t have too much of a choice.”

“Art major?”

“Yep! And you?”

“Psychology major. I have to get in some cultural classes.”

“Ever taken art?”

“Actually no, not even in high school. I got through that stuff by working backstage in the theater department.”

“Well not to worry my friend, because you picked the best one.”

“Is it easy to pass?”

“Nope. Well, maybe if she likes your work,” Matthew deflates at the blunt response, “but don’t worry because I’m here to be your guide.”

Matthew perks up, but it takes him a moment. This guy’s gonna help him?

“Are you any good?”

“Am I good?” He looks perplexed Matthew would even ask. Matthew has to cover his own amusement. “I may not look it but charcoal and I go way back. I’ll show you my work later as proof.”

“Deal.”

“Gilbert, since you’re adamant on talking, you can be the first to introduce yourself.”

Even if his name wasn’t said, Matthew feels just as guilty. Caught, for talking on the first day of all things.

“Gilbert Beilshcmidt. Fourth year. I’m an art major and my favorite breakfast food is pancakes.”

Matthew looks surprised that he was paying attention, even to the last addition of their introduction. Matthew’s not sure he would have known considering he was distracted.

-

And so their friendship starts.

-

Gilbert sits next to him again. And again.

Where ever Matthew sits in the art room, Gilbert follows not too long after.

Some days they take the sitting desks, some they stand and lean against the stools.

And despite not even talking much, Gilbert treats him like a friend.

-

“Do you have any plans this afternoon?”

“Nope, this was my last class.”

“Do you want to get some coffee and work on our sketch books.”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

-

Matthew finds himself meeting Gilbert in his downtime. Every Thursday after drawing for three hours becomes the day they meet. At first, all they do is draw, little more.

Gilbert is animated in all moments, but he has short spurts where he focuses exceptionally on his work. Matthew is no art critic, but he thinks Gilbert expresses himself quite well on paper. Graphite, charcoal, and pastels, all the utensils glide easily without a single stroke missing its mark.

Watercolor though, could use some work, which actually happens to be Matthew’s favorite. Even if the intention is to guide the colors with a brush, it’s okay for them to take a life of their own spreading across the thick paper.

They share snacks, art supplies, and their time.

Gilbert proves himself very useful as he promised. Matthew though never planning to be the next Van Gogh, has to pass this class. And it would be nice to pass it with flying colors, but some concepts are harder to grasp than others.

It’s obvious to tell he’s a beginner, while Gilbert excels. Matthew finds out he only now needs the intro class since it’s the first semester it became a requirement.

Gilbert helps him find the shapes he’s comfortable with, explains the processing for hatching and how it relates to shading. And while he’s no expert, he sees a subtle improvement over the next few weeks that makes some pride swell within himself.

-

“Do you want to come with me and my friends to this cool bar for dinner on Friday?” Gilbert asks about a month into the semester.

It’s the first time Gilbert and him will have spent time off campus.

“Yeah, I’d love to.”

-

Gilbert’s friends are just as animated as he, it’s almost hard to keep up. Overwhelming as they are, they’re extremely welcoming. Matthew eases into the atmosphere, joining in when he can but mostly pleased to be out and doing something different.

He’s made friends during his time, but like him they’re a little more reserved and pick quieter places on the town.

It’s fun. And he wants to go out again.

Matthew invites Gilbert and his friends to watch his next hockey game.

After their shock in finding out he plays such a violent sport, they’re all agreeing and planning to find the best seats in the arena.

-

“Are you serious. Are you hiding muscles under that red sweater?”

Gilbert pokes at him, it tickles when he gets closer to his biceps, but he knows he’s only teasing.

“You think I’m playing but I’m serious! You should have been there, well you were there. On the stands, I mean. We all screamed after you sent that player flying against the wall.”

Gilbert recreates the motions, but only slams himself into the wall and whines after he bounces back. He then plays it off like it doesn’t hurt. Gilbert’s not a very good actor.

People tell him it’s so much different watching him on the ice, but it’s still him. He’s always wondered how much different, he feels like himself. He just knows he goes into the zone when he’s in his gear. He just wants to win. And he will.

“It’s like night day,” Gilbert continues. “You were ready to kill a man down there.”

“You’re not the first to say that. I guess maybe, I could be a little more out there in real life, huh?”

Gilbert stops walking.

“Nope.”

“Nope?”

“You’re perfectly fine the way you are. I like the way you are, so don’t go change. I don’t want to be at risk of dying during art class.”

And as silly as it sounds, he’s pleased. He likes Gilbert a whole lot, too. Just the way he is.

-

“Do you want to have dinner with me?” Matthew takes the initiative.

“Dinner?”

“Yeah, just you and me. I want to take you out.”

“Like you did to that guy on the court,” Gilbert laughs nervously.

“On a date. Gilbert, would you like go out with me?”

He says yes.

Later that evening when he’s heading home, Gilbert starts running through the courtyard cheering that “I have a date with the cutest guy I’ve ever met!”

Matthew’s window is open, he’s face is bright red and he slams head first into his pillow. He needs to plan the best first date ever.

-

Three months into dating, he’s finally heading home again for a school break. He wants to take Gilbert with him, who is waiting for the next major holiday to go back home. But isn’t it too soon? They haven’t been dating that long, after all.

But Gilbert surprises him, and jokingly says he wants to go with him because he’ll miss him too much while he’s gone. And then, Matthew asks if he seriously wants to go.

“I do.”

So they ride the 3 hours train down to Matthew’s childhood home. He’s a little bit nervous, because he’s had dates to school dances, and brought friends over, but this is entirely different. This is someone he wants to take a serious step with, even if the time hasn’t been that long. They’ll never get anywhere if they don’t, so they’ll both take the leap and pray it works out.

“Mom, dad, Alfred, this is Gilbert.”

It’s the most timid Matthew’s ever seen him.

“Nice to meet ya, I’m Matthew’s boyfriend.”

After he shakes all their hands, he takes his hand back to link pinkies with Matthew.

There’s not an once of regret in his mind as the long weekend passes.

-

Gilbert graduates the next year, and the year after it’s his turn. They’re going to move in with each other. Gilbert really has no irresistible urge to go back to his home town, satisfied with just visiting a few times a year. And Matthew thinks he would like to go back closer, just to figure out his next move. So, they go together.

It’s only a one bedroom, but is more than enough space for them both. Gilbert finds work as a docent while Matthew works for a second degree in education.

He still plays hockey for a local league, Gilbert becoming their number one fan. They find their own rhythm, a pace that works for them both, where they can settle down or speed up when they agree with each other. Dewey mornings, warm summers, chilly evenings they spend them altogether.

They decide move up North closer to Gilbert’s hometown. Matthew’s more nervous meeting his grandparents than he was introducing Gilbert to his own family, but Gilbert assures him again and again they’re just a stuffy old family who actually really care about each other a lot more than they let off.

Gilbert’s grandfather towers over him, despite being a hair above 6 feet. He’s silent, eyes boring into Matthew as he introduces himself. And to end all of Matthew’s worries, the elder man pulls Matthew into a hug and tells him he’s glad him and Gilbert are home. Gilbert, just as perplexed as he, stares, but he melts into a pleased laugh.

Yeah, this is his and Gilbert’s home now.

-

They stay, for a long while, contemplate moving a few times, but they’re satisfied for now.

Gilbert and him always make time for each other, continue their own respective interests with complete support of the other. They’re never afraid to complain, because they always work through it rather then let it simmer.

Gilbert’s vivacious spirit keep them going, and Matthew’s heart keeps them grounded.

His life at first seem a little bit ordinary, but how can he complain when the pieces of the puzzle fit themselves in and stayed locked in tight.

#hetalia #prucan #prucanweek #APH Prussia #APH Canada #.txt post #I forgot all my writing tags #will fix later HAHA

[thiswasinevitableid]

93. I hire your matchmaking services but all the people you set me up with are horrible and I’m demanding a refund and you’re asking me for one more chance??? what are you going to do? be my date?

Indruck, nsfw, please!

Here you go! I was inspired by @kriskukko's incredible art for the orc designs in this, and I highly recommend checking them out!

“Indrid? Some from Kepler House is here to speak with you.” Ned pokes his head into Indrid’s rooms.

“Drat” Indrid hisses, dressing gown whipping about him as he scrambles to put the apartment in order while also dragging his notes on the man in question to the forefront, “I didn’t forsee anyone coming by today, goodness, he had his first engagement with Lady Austens daughter last night, what on earth could they need to see me for?” He tosses his spare pens aside, landing them in his second set of house slippers.

“Well, dear boy, given the luck you’ve had with them lately-”

“It’s not luck, it’s simply very unlikely futures. Please just, just stall whoever it is a moment, Leo is usually patient and-”

“I’m afraid I cannot do that my friend.”

“Why not? I watched you once talk an entire flock of constables away from your door. Praytell, why can Ned “Silver Tongue” Chicane not get rid of a single attendant?”

“Because the attendant ain’t here this time.”

Indrid slams the drawer of his desk, looking up as an orc in a deep brown suit steps into the room, tossing his hat onto the table. He’s shorter than Indrid and Ned (stout and strong, according to the notes Indrid received), wavy black hair streaked with grey at the front. One eye is blue, the other brown, and both regard the harried matchmaker with casual annoyance.

“Mr. Newton, I, ah, I was not expecting you to visit me.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t expect to be on a date where she found me so damn dull she hailed a cab as soon as dinner was done. I was already in town on some business for Minerva, so I decided to come tell you I ain’t in need of your services anymore.”

“I beg your pardon? Your benefactor employed me to find you a suitable match and I intend to do just that. I know there have been missteps, but such things are to be expected when searching for one’s lifelong partner.”

“Uh huh. And the fact I’m Lady Minerva’s chosen heir, which means there are a bunch of folks waitin to mimic my style and choices, has got nothin to do with it.”

“I, ah, I can’t say that I’m ignorant of the potential repercussions of being the one assigned to locate a spouse for you.”

“Which is the long way of sayin you know damn well that if I decide to stop askin you for help, no one with money is ever gonna come to you again.”

There’s a determined set to his rounded jaw, and a glimpse at the future suggests Indrid will have better luck with a different tactic

“....were they really so awful?”

“Yes. They were rude, or thought I was rude, or thought I was dull, or we just had fuck-all in common.”

“Have you considered you might just be a tad more demanding than average?”

“It ain’t demandin to want the person I spend the rest of my life with to actually like me.” He sighs, “I’m sorry, Mr. Cold, but unless you got a real winner up your sleeve, I’m done.”

All responses, all timelines show Duck ending his time as Indrid’s client and walking out the door.

“You could try me!”

“Really?” Duck looks deeply unconvinced.

“I will admit it’s unorthodox, but I, I foresee us having a perfectly nice time together. It will let me prove that I am capable of choosing companions for you.”

The shorter orc looks him up and down more deliberately and Indrid fights not to draw his dressing gown tighter. He will not be intimidated by some newcomer from across the sea.

“Okay, I’ll make you a deal. I got to go to this concert tomorrow; someone from Kepler house is expected to show and Minerva is busy. You’re comin with me.” He holds Indrid’s gaze, daring him to renege on his offer.

Indrid summons his best, professional grin, “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

---------------------------------------

Indrid smooths his waistcoat and jacket as he steps from the cab, tucks a strand of his silver hair behind his ear. It’s his only concession to the nerves skittering up and down his spine.

Gatherings such as these are nothing new to him; he goes to them to gather new information and new clients, to remind the well-to-do families of London and beyond that he is the matchmaker extraordinaire. But there is always the moment between when they see him and when they recognize him, when every face in the room wonders why someone like him dares to enter their space.

Somewhere in Indrid’s ancestry is a love story between an orc and a goblin. His silver hair, very angular features, and complete lack of tusks or fangs is the proof. The red eyes don’t help--they unsettle everyone who sees them--but his mother insists they’re evidence of other orcs gifted with rare magic on her side of the family. He wears red spectacles over them just to be safe; he rather likes how the color stands out against his skin, and his glasses let him avoid prying questions.

Duck is waiting for him under the awning outside the music hall; he’s in a grey day suit this time, looking just as understatedly handsome as he did yesterday morning. Indrid must admit his desire to save his reputation is not the only reason he agreed to this; he cannot understand why Duck is having such trouble meeting his match. He’s good looking, moneyed, American--an exotic background in the eyes of the average, sheltered upper-class orc--but still has family history here in England. All Indrid’s matches showed a high probability of success. The point of failure must lie with the orc himself.

“Afternoon, Mr. Cold.” Duck smiles with everything but his eyes.

“Indrid is fine, given the reason for our meeting.”

Duck nods. Indrid wishes the ground would swallow one of them up. When the pavement fails to oblige, he offers his arm. The shorter orc takes it, both of them doffing their hats as they step inside.

“I, uh, like the earring.” Duck indicates the moth cuff on Indrid’s left ear, a stark contrast to the single gold hoop in his own.

“Thank you. A friend gave it to me. I, ah, I rather enjoy working moths into my wardrobe; I find them fascinating.”

“Y’know, back home we got moths that look like hummingbirds.”

“Really?” Indrid’s ear twitches, “how big?”

Duck holds up his hands to indicate the size. Indrid is about to demand details when they’re waylaid by their hostess and pulled into a cluster of families. Indrid breathes deep, feeling crowded in, and notices Duck routinely being cut off in conversation or given disapproving looks behind his back. Yes, Indrid supposes his manners are a bit rough, but there’s no harm in that. Too, everyone seems far more interested in the goings on at Kepler House and with Lady Minerva than with Duck himself. By the time they’re seated, their arms feel locked together from shared tension.

The violinists are quite good; Indrid enjoys strings, his recordings of them being his favorite music to listen to while drawing. But his mind is so consumed by futures and by thoughts about the orc beside him that he struggles to focus on the music. Duck is having a similar issue, though he hides it well; were they not side by side, Indrid would miss the way he fidgets with the knee of his trousers.

“Are you alright?” He whispers under the applause.

“N-ye-uh. Fuck. I, the musics real nice but I gotta say I’m gettin kinda bored. But I got no fuckin clue if leavin will piss everyone here off.”

“Intermission is soon. When it comes, keep quiet and follow my lead.”

When the guests rise to stretch their legs and fetch refreshments, Indrid guides Duck to their hostess.

“I’m so very sorry, but I’m afraid my stomach is rather angry with me and it’s best if I go home. Duck has agreed to accompany me so I do not pass out in the street. I’m sure you understand.”

She nods, and in a matter of moments they’re out on the street, each breathing deeply.

“Thanks for that.”

“My pleasure.”

“Guess I oughta just head back to the hotel.” Duck sighs.

“You could. But, ah, we’re not far from Kew Gardens and the weather isn’t miserably cold for once. If you’d like-”

“Hell yeah. Wait, fuck, sorry, tryin to swear less in public.”

“I don’t really mind.” Indrid starts them down the street.

“Lots of them do” Duck tips his head back towards the concert hall, “I mean, at least that rule is easier to figure out. It’s not that there aren’t weird rules and class stuff back home, but I grew up learnin them. Here I always feel like I’m one move away from makin an ass of myself. No one’ll say anything because of Minerva, but I know if it weren’t for her, none of ‘em would give me the time of day. It makes every interaction so goddamn stressful.”

Indrid twinges with sympathy, “When I first started in these circles, I wrote myself notecards and had Ned test me on them.”

Duck giggles, so absurd and loud it draws stares from passersby, “why? You seem to know your stuff.”

“I didn’t come from money, and I don’t always read social situations the way others expect. It was learn or live as a penniless artist for all my days.” As the gardens come into view he adds, “I know the basics of your life in America but if you weren’t here, what would you be doing there?”

“Workin in the Yosemite valley. I was a ranger there for a few years before Minerva called me here.”

“What was that like?”

Duck tells him as they wander the first stretches of the gardens. He’s midway through a tangent about bears when he stops.

“Holy fuck, you’re really still listenin.”

“Of course I am, this is fascinating.”

His companion smiles, “Glad you think so. But it ain’t polite for me to dominate the conversation like this. Now you gotta tell me what you do when you’re not gettin fancy folks together.”

“...You promise you will finish the story about the bear and the tent later.”

“You know it.”

Indrid knows that time passes more quickly with good company, but he’s still startled when the sun sets. The Savoy, where Duck is staying, is closer than his home, so their cab stops there first.

Duck pauses halfway out the door, “Meet me here for dinner tomorrow?”

Indrid grins, “I’d like nothing more.”

--------------------------------

“I didn’t know the line even went this far.” Indrid watches the moors race by them out the window of the train.

“You and me both.” Duck rotates his map, glances at the letter he received a week ago, “okay, once we get off at Amnesty, we need someone to take us down Greenbank road. The house is at the end of it, somewhere around here.” He taps a patch of moor miles from anything else. Indrid studies his fingers and is glad that, of his more rugged habits, one he elected to keep was letting his nails stay claws rather than filing them down.

“My visions suggest that as long as we don’t ask anyone to drive us out after dark, we should have no trouble reaching it.”

Indrid tries not to be too giddy at the prospect of spending weeks and weeks more or less alone in the countryside with Duck. They’re going because an anonymous note informed him that he did indeed have a family estate and--once they determined that the house near Dartmoor did indeed legally belong to him--it was decided he would go to see how the old place was doing and perhaps take up residence.

He asked Indrid to come without even glancing up from the telegram from the solicitor. Indrid agreed without looking away from his drawing. If two months of semi-courtship in a crowded city got them close enough for that, Indrid dares to hope that being out here together will bring them closer still.

Amnesty is small, as they both expected, the air chilly and fog threatening to swallow whole buildings as they make their way to the Lodge where they’ve been told they can find a driver. When Duck asks the young woman working the counter for help getting to Greenbank Hall, she quirks her lips in a frown.

“I’m not sure there’s even a place called that around here….OH! Do you mean Beacon House?”

“Maybe?” Duck looks at Indrid, who quickly looks at the futures.

“Yes, it seems we do.”

“Okay. Since it's still light, I should be able to find someone to get you out there. If it comes down to it, I can, like, drive you out myself.”

They end up being driven by a friendly young man named Jake, who deposits them and their bags on the steps of the massive house with a friendly wave farewell.

“Agh” Indrid shivers as they step through the newly unlocked doors, “I think it’s actually warmer outside.”

“No kiddin. Damn fog means it’s already gettin too dark to see too. I’ll go get some kind of fire started, you see if you can find some lanterns or candles so we ain’t trippin all over ourselves.”

Indrid begins his search, comes to the kitchen and finds some matches and a candle. The solicitor arranged for food and other supplies to be brought in ahead of time, so in theory lanterns should be somewhere nearby. He’s just glad that the paltry light shows no signs of rodents getting into their food.

When he gets upstairs, he discovers two things; one, all the lamps are gas, so he’s able to light them easily. And two, a mother tortoiseshell cat is nesting with her kittens on a guest bed.

“Well, that explains the lack of mice.”

Footsteps behind him, “Got a fire goin in the sittin room, if you wanna pick a room for yourself I can light one th--awwwww” Duck moves past him towards the cat, who hisses at him, “now, there ain’t any need for that, missy. I ain’t gonna hurt you or your babies. But we oughta bring you somethin more’n mice to eat.”

“I saw some tinned food in the pantry.”

“Perfect, lemme go find a bowl.”

----------------------------------

Beacon House has seen better days, but Indrid discovers the houses loss is his gain. Duck decides they can do many of the repairs themselves, and sets about ordering supplies from London or bringing them in from Amnesty. The few times they need help, the cook and several others from the Lodge come to assist in the project. These gatherings are far more pleasant than any Indrid had to attend for work (well, except for the ones where he was with Duck). And they always end before dusk.

Indrid occupies himself with figuring out why. There was no mention of this house when he first researched Duck, and even using the local name turns up very little. It’s not until he finds a diary belonging to one H. Newton in the library that he understands.

October the 15th, 1805

I fear the worst is upon me. I cannot leave the house, dare not even peer out the windows for fear of what I shall see. Lucy says it is my health, that we should travel to warmer regions so it will improve. But I know it is not so simple. Were we to flee, it would merely wait for our return. It may even waylay us before we reached town. I am cursed. We are cursed. We always will be.

Beneath the words is a hastily sketched image; yellow eyes and sharp fangs peering from between the bars of the front gate.

There are no more entries.

Indrid is unsure whether to raise the matter with Duck. On the one hand, he wishes him to know of any possible dangers. On the other, his friend is so very content these days, coming in from some project or other with grime on his skin and a smile on his face. Indrid’s own desire to stay with him here, in a house he can pretend is theirs, threatens to drown out all other reasons.

Eventually, his conscience shouts it down while he and Duck are on their evening walk.

“Oh yeah, Barclay told me about that a few days ago. Some ghost apparently wanders around the moor at night; got somethin to do with a murderous ancestor.”

“That does not alarm you.”

“You know I don’t believe in curses and destiny or anythin like that. People make up all kinds of stories when they’re alone in wild places.”

Indrid’s foresight guides his arm, gripping Duck and keeping him from moving forward.

“Does that look like a story?”

Directly ahead of them, a tor rises like a spike. Atop it, revealed by the rising moon, is a gigantic, fur-covered shape.

“See” Duck whispers, “were we back home, I’d say that was a bear.”

“And now?”

“Given there ain’t been bears in this part of the world in decades, I say we get the hell outta here.”

They take off back down the slope, the hall a collection of yellow squares of light in the darkening distance. A howl splits the air behind them and Indrid quickens his pace, keeps his eyes on the future in hopes of protecting them both.

This means he doesn’t see the burrow in the path until his ankle goes sideways in it.

“‘Drid!”

“Under no circumstances are you to try and help meAH!” He yelps as Duck swings him over his shoulder and continues his flight towards the house. As he’s bounced about, Indrid watches a glowing shape bounding closer.

“Thank fuck.” Duck crosses the gate, slams them closed, and lowers Indrid to his feet. Nothing glares at them from the path. But a growl creeps from the shadows and follows them until they shut the door.

------------------------------------------

“How’s the ankle?�� Duck drops his coat on the chair opposite Indrid before tending to the fire.

“Better than yesterday. I should be up and moving tomorrow, if the futures are to be believed.”

“You know you don’t gotta rush. I’m happy to take care of you.”

Indrid picks at the ends of the blanket in his lap, “but I miss being able to aid you with work.”

“There’ll be lots of time for that. We got plenty to do to get the house to where we can live in it full time.”

“We?”

Duck goes completely still, then fails to put the fire poker back in place three separate times. When he finally meets Indrid’s eyes, he looks worried.

“‘Drid? What’s your endgame? With, uh, with me?”

“I…” Indrid grabs his teacup, intending to drink it to buy time and finds it empty, ‘I...I don’t know. I, I wanted to prove to you that I could find you a companion who made you happy, hoping you would give me another chance to locate your perfect match. But lately I, ah, I struggle to see that plan working. As I do not wish you to have any match but me.”

Duck moves across the rug, shadows on his face making it hard to read.

“I know that shows great selfishness on my part. If that is not something you wish to have in your life I, I…” he shrinks back as Duck leans down, certain this is the timeline where he accuses him of being a conniving monster.

“Funny you should say you’re bein selfish” Duck braces his arms on either side of the chair, “because I’ve been beatin myself thinkin’ I was selfish for keepin you out here so long.”

“Keep me here forever.” Indrid whispers. Duck smiles, closes the remaining space between them. His lips are still a bit chilly from working outside; Indrid does everything he can to warm them with his own.

The shorter orc straddles him and he whines so needily that Duck snickers in reply.

“What’s wrong darlin? Kissin too much for you?’

“On the contrary; it is far too little, but my injury means my ability to drag you to my bed and beg for more is greatly impeded.”

“Good thing we live alone.” Duck pulls the blanket from Indrid’s lap, nibbles his ear as the seer catches on and begins frantically undoing the buttons of Duck’s workshirt and shoving his suspenders. When at last he pushes it open he loses himself a moment, tipping forward to tongue at the golden ring in Duck’s left nipple.

“AHheh, gettin right to it. Good” Duck unbuttons his pants, “because I’ve been wantin to fuck you since before we even came out here.”

“Oh I see” Indrid purrs, “you lured me into the countryside to sully my virtue.”

Duck laughs, full throated, as his tusks catch in the firelight, “You forgettin the time we got drunk instead of goin to the opera and you told me you convinced two sailors to take you home?”

“Only if you’ve forgotten telling me about the young ranch-hand you gave several rides to” Indrid nibbles along his neck, his twitching oddly in their quest to grind against him without jostling his ankle.

“Not a chance. But I don’t care about reminiscin right now; right now, I got the best lookin fella in the world beggin for my dick.”

“I’m not begging.” Indrid tilts his head back to help Duck get his shirt open some.

“Not yet.” Duck grins, then shoves his hand down his trousers.

“Ohhhhhyes” Indrid reaches for him.

“Keep your hands on the armrests until I say you can move ‘em.”

“But, but” it’s hard to argue when he’s trying to stare a hole through Duck’s remaining clothes. His partner notices and makes a show of moaning louder.

“Only good boys get to watch the show. You gonna be good for me?”

“The best.”

Duck kisses the tip of his nose, then wiggles and kicks his pants and underwear off. Indrid can only watch, growing more envious by the moment, as he fucks himself open and rubs a thumb along his cock. Indrid tries bucking his hips, only to discover Duck is keeping himself out of reach.

“Cruel creature.” Indrid groans.

“Cruel? I’m giving you a seat to the best show in town.”

“I’d rather you take the best seat in town.”

Duck laughs, is still doing so when he bends to kiss him. Indrid whimpers, nails digging into the upholstery to keep his promise of good behavior. Duck notices.

“Good boy.”

“AHHHnnnthankyou, thankyouthankyouthankyou” Indrid moans as Duck drops his weight into his lap, grinding on his clothed cock with abandon. He flings Indrids hands up to his shoulders. The seer glides them up to his hair, burying them there where he’s now certain they’ve always belonged. Duck mirrors him, lips only leaving his to bite the tip of his ear.

“Fuck, Indrid, that’s it darlin, lemme ride you like the sleek little beast you are.”

He whines, loses his thoughts as Ducks hips quicken.

“I know ‘Drid, you like bein mine, like that I’ll bounce on this fuckin perfect dick as often as you want as long as you’re my good, sweet, ohsweetfuck, fuck, darlin’” Duck drops his forehead to Indrid’s shoulder with a groan as he cums, soaking the fabric of his pants. Before Indrid can think about stopping, Duck picks up again with as much force as before, growling in his ear to be a good little social climber and cum for his lord.

Indrid cums at that with a chirping sound he thought he’d stopped making long ago, legs spasming from the force of his climax. Unfortunately, this means his pleasure is chased by a burst of pain. He whimpers, flinches, and Duck spots the problem.

“Oh, oh darlin I’m sorry” He drops to the floor, rubbing Indrid’s thighs, “thought the position would keep you from hurtin.”

“Apparently not. I, I want you to know I don’t regret it in the slightest.”

Duck smiles, relieved, and rests his head on Indrid’s stomach, “Guess you did find me a match, huh?”

Indrid bends slowly, nuzzling his hair with a hum, “Yes, I believe so.”

#indruck #meet ugy #indrid cold/ duck newton #orc au #victorian au #trans duck newton

[rhysismydaddy]

After Midnight Pt. 2 (Feysand)

This part is completely in Rhysand’s POV, which was kind of challenging because I don’t really like writing ~sexy stuff~ while attempting to think about what the hell men are thinking about. HA.

Part 1 

_________________________________________________________

~Rhysand~

All week long, Feyre--the client--keeps creeping in my head, making it damn near impossible for me to focus on anything at work.

Her full bottom lip, the taste of her skin, the soft little moan she doesn’t believe is sexy.

It’s not all depraved, male thoughts, though. I wouldn’t worry so much if it was, because that would just be lust, and lust is easy to fix.

But I also think about her smile, her bright blue eyes.

I think about the panic that came over her and what might have happened to her to cause such a deep-rooted reaction like that.

I know it’s none of my business, but I want to know what happened to her. I want to help her be more confident, help her with her intimacy problems.

Shoving what’s probably just my savior complex down, I tell myself her problems don’t concern me.

She’s a paycheck.

A beautiful, intriguing paycheck that I can’t stop thinking about.

Fuck.

I don’t have time to change after working at the bar, so I head to the hotel in dark slacks and a white t-shirt. You can see my tattoos, but it isn’t too trashy, so I don’t think she’ll mind.

Some clients are extremely particular about what I wear.

Sometimes so particular I end up getting a new suit out of the arrangement.

Feyre doesn’t seem like the type, but I doubt she’ll hesitate me to tell me if she wants me to look a little more professional. The thought makes me smile.

Do not tell me what to do. Ever.

I love how angry she got, how she didn’t hesitate to tell me off when I started acting like a prick. Little hellion.

Even if I was tempted to do exactly what she told me not to. Because gods above, the urge to tell her to do something with that beautiful mouth besides yell at me was fucking overwhelming.

I’m going straight to hell.

Clenching my jaw, I attempt to not think anything perverted as I walk into the hotel bar and spot Feyre sipping a drink.

But I could clench that shit hard enough to break my teeth, and it still wouldn’t keep me from noticing the way her hair catches the light, the way her black tank top dips in the front to show off the smooth skin of her chest.

I’m a fucking professional, I scold myself as I march over. And it’s just a collarbone, for gods sake.

“Hello, Feyre,” I murmur, sliding into the stool next to her.

Cloudy sky eyes look over at me, and I could swear they drift over my outfit appreciatively, lingering on my tattoos. “Rhysand.”

Something about hearing my full name makes this feel extremely impersonal, so I say, “You can just call me Rhys.”

“Oh, okay.” She shrugs and pushes her empty glass away.

“Do you want to get another drink, or are we going upstairs?”

It’s fucked up how happy I get when she says the latter.

I need to stop thinking about her as a woman and start thinking about her like a wealthy client I need to please.

Except that pleasing her sounds like too good of an idea as I follow behind her, my eyes watching her ass.

Client or not, she has a really great ass.

Once we’re standing across from each other in the elevator, I deny myself further thoughts of her backside and ask, “How was your week?”

We’ve agreed to only meet Fridays at the same hotel room, so it’s a casual enough question.

“It was alright. I work at the art museum on fifth street, and we have an event coming up soon, so I’m planning it.”

I nod, finding it easy to picture her in a museum, talking passionately about some old, overpriced piece of art. “I didn’t know being a curator was such a well-paying job.”

“Oh, it’s not.” There’s a brief flash of sadness in her beautiful eyes as she says, “I used to be an artist.”

“But you’re not anymore?”

Obviously, you idiot. She just said that.

Feyre shakes her head, looking relieved as the elevator door bings open. We walk down the hall in silence, and then we’re in the room.

“Anything specific you want to do tonight?” I ask, leaning against the wall and watching as she throws her bag on the bed.

It’s a pretty standard question, but it seems to make her nervous. She starts pacing, then looks down and frowns at herself and stops. “Oh, um... well...”

It suddenly dawns on me that she has no idea, because she doesn’t know her boundaries anymore. The realization makes me both sad and pissed at whoever hurt her.

“We could just make out,” I offer, shrugging to let her know it’s up to her. “See where it goes.”

She bites her lip and flushes, looking so adorably embarrassed I grin. Apparently not able to say the words, she just nods.

I don’t want to scare her, so I avoid the bed and head to one of the cushy, wide chairs near the window. Her eyebrows go up a little, but she follows me over, then sits gingerly on my knee.

She’s literally in my lap, yet I can’t even kiss her she’s so far away.

“Feyre.”

“Yes?”

“Is this not okay?”

She shakes her head. “This is good.”

I grab her hips and drag her toward my chest, muttering, “Then come here, woman.”

She laughs, the sound light and surprised. “Sorry. This is just... isn’t this weird for you? I feel like I’m a terrible person for making you do this.”

Is she serious? Making me kiss her?

“You’re not forcing me to do anything, and you’re not a bad person for wanting to enjoy yourself. We’re just... exchanging goods.”

Her mouth drops open, and I laugh.

“Bad way to phrase that,” I admit, still grinning. “But no, it isn’t weird. You’re a beautiful woman, and I was being serious when I told you I could kiss you all night.”

To keep her from arguing, I lean up and press my lips against hers. Her breath hitches, so I kiss her again, just a faint touch of my lips against hers.

Feyre’s sitting on me sideways, but when I wrap my arms around her, she leans into my chest. And then she starts kissing me back.

Her arms go around my shoulders, hands in my hair, and the position makes her breasts press against my chest. It’s a new, torturous distraction, made sweeter by the fact that I know she isn’t even doing it on purpose.

Everything about her is naturally sexy. She doesn’t have to try, and I can tell she’s just enjoying herself, not trying to put on a show.

One of my hands is on her back, the other is on her thigh, sliding up until the smooth curve of her hip fills my palm. I'm in the process of squeezing her closer when she pulls back abruptly.

I track her face for any sight of panic, but she’s completely calm as she shifts to straddle my waist, knees on the chair at either side of my hips.

Almost automatically, my hands fall to her backside and drag her forward until we’re flush together. Feyre gasps, and then her mouth is moving against mine in a more frantic pace.

I love knowing I’m getting to her like she is to me. I love the fact that she’s breathing heavily as I move to kiss my way down her throat. I love the little sound she makes when I suck on the place between her shoulder and neck.

I love that she can’t stay still, even if the little movements of her hips are slowly driving me insane.

Her hands tug on my hair, tilting my head back, and then she’s leaning away slightly. And blushing.

Which means she wants something else.

I raise an eyebrow.

“Would you mind taking your shirt off?”

My stupid lips won’t stop twitching at how polite she is. The urge to tease her about it rises, but I ignore it and drag my shirt over my head, then throw it on the floor behind her.

Watching her attempt to not look down is probably one of the best moments of my entire life.

Her eyes flit from mine to my chest, then to my abs, then back to my face.

I’ve grown used to women treating my like an object, and it’s adorable to watch her try to be so respectful.

“Pervert,” I tease when her eyes dip once again.

Feyre laughs softly, even as her fingertips start to glide over my skin, causing my muscles to go tight. She traces the lines of my tattoos across my chest, following them down my arms.

On a seduction scale of one to ten, it’s about a three.

And yet, my body reacts without question, heat flooding into my crotch like lightening.

Her gaze snaps up to mine and I offer an apologetic smile. Eyes wide, she practically jumps backward off my lap, standing in front of me and looking anywhere except my face.

And to be honest, I’m a little confused.

I was pretty sure my job description included having sex or some kind, and since she hired me, I’d figured that would come around sooner or later. So why is she so surprised I get an erection?

Especially when she puts that cute behind in my lap and kisses me stupid and puts her hands all over me?

Before I can ask, she says, “I’m going to take a shower.”

Out of everything I expected her to say, that didn’t make the list, but I still reply, “Okay.”

Only she doesn’t take a single step towards the bathroom. And after another long moment of silence, she murmurs, “I would like if you joined.”

Oh.

That I understand.

Smiling like a complete jackass, I nod and get up, following her to the posh bathroom. She reaches in and turns the shower on, then turns to me and shocks me yet again. “Turn around, please.”

“I thought I was joining you.”

“You are.”

I run a hand through my hair, trying not to laugh again. “Well unless we’re showing in our clothes, I’m going to see you naked at some point.”

“I’m aware of that,” she says sourly, hands on her hips. “But I can’t undress with you watching.”

Sighing, I turn around, not pointing out that the massive mirror next to us makes this entire request pointless. But I want to make her feel comfortable, so I close my eyes for safe measure. The sound of rustling fabric fills the silence, then the shower door opens and she says, “You can, um, turn around now.”

I do, then immediately regret it.

Because if Feyre in her clothes was alluring and sexy and beautiful, Feyre naked is downright sinful. I mutter a curse and she raises and eyebrow, but I’m too busy thinking about anything except what’s in front of me to care.

Which is pretty impossible, considering the sight of her tilting her head back and allowing water to run down her body is something no man could ever ignore.

I watch the water track all the way down to her toes, then slowly force my eyes back up.

Remembering I’m here for a job and am getting paid and that I should not be enjoying this, I quickly undress and step into the shower.

Standing close enough our breath mixes, we just stare at each other for another moment. And it’s just when I’m sure she’s about to tell me what she wants that she finally speaks.

“I don’t think I can have sex with you,” she whispers, shooting my happiness straight in the face.

She sure as shit seemed like she could a minute ago. Is seeing me naked changing that or something?

“Oh,” I say, looking down at myself in confusion. “That’s... embarrassing.”

“Oh gods! I didn’t mean it like that! This is so embarrassing. You’re.... I obviously find you attractive enough.” I look back up, and she has both hands over her face. “I mean that I can’t have sex with you tonight. I’m kind of freaking out a little, and I don’t particularly want to have another panic attack.”

Pride and manhood back in order, I reach out and gently pry her hands off her face. “It’s okay. I get it. You’re in charge, remember? Anything you want, nothing you don’t.”

She looks down at the part of my body that is most definitely ready for some action, then back up. “I’m sorry.”

Yeah, this’ll definitely suck, but it isn’t her fault. “So you just want to shower and stare at each other, then?”

Instead of answering, she kisses me. Apparently not.

Smiling against her, I pull her closer, causing our chests to collide in a slippery, intoxicating way.

Feyre eventually answers the question of what she wants when her hand takes mine and slides it down her stomach, then further.

“Will you-”

She cuts herself off as I make circles with my thumb slowly, sucking on her bottom lip at the same time. “Yes,” I murmur back.

And because I have the feeling this is all we’ll do tonight, I’m determined to make it enough. More than enough.

I nudge her feet further apart with mine and kiss her deeply as I slide a finger down her center, then push it inside, making sure to keep my thumb moving slowly.

She moans, and I have to close my mouth to keep myself from mimicking the sound because holy hell she’s...

If she feels this good against my hand, I almost don’t want to know how she’ll feel against other parts of me. The fact that sex with her is even a potential possibility tells me I’m the luckiest bastard in the world.

Her head falls forward against my chest, but I slide a hand in her damp hair and tilt it back far enough to allow access to her throat.

I don’t move lower, even though I’m dying to, because I want everything we do to be her idea.

“Rhys,” she groans, hips following the rhythm set by my hand.

She’s a client, she’s a client, she’s a client.

My name falls off her lips again, and it’s the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard, so I move back to her mouth and attempt to eat it.

Her hands once again explore my shoulders and chest and abs, and I’m not sure which of us she’s trying to get off because I’m fucking addicted to her touch.

I pull on her lower lip with my teeth as I add another finger, and she makes a helpless little sound that does my sanity absolutely no favors.

All I can think about is how I want to drive her crazy. I want her to fall apart in my arms. I want to make her feel so good she goes weak in the knees.

I slow my rhythm down until she whimpers, hips moving restlessly, then flick my thumb over where it’d been busy drawing circles and push it down roughly.

Knowing it’ll be enough, I open my eyes to watch as she comes. And it’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen, hands down.

Her cheeks flush, eyes press shut, and lips open to let out a low moan that goes straight to my dick. Her entire body is tight, then she goes loose in my arms, leaning heavily against me.

Bright blue eyes peer up at me and watch as I bring my hand up and pull a finger into my mouth. I can’t help it, really.

And I definitely don’t regret it, because the taste of her on my tongue is enough to make my blood thrum.

I release it with a pop, then smirk down at her flushed face.

“Um, thank you.”

Unable to keep my hands to myself, I sweep her hair back and smile. “It was my pleasure, really.”

She rolls her eyes, then catches sight of what’s between us. “Are you going to be okay?”

Unless you count the fact that my balls will hurt like hell for a few hours. “I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” She reaches out a hand. “I can-”

Pushing her hand away gently, I tell her, “I don’t want you to touch me. Unless you want to.”

The last fucking thing I want to do is make her feel pressured to do something she doesn’t want to. I have a feeling that’s the reason she has “problems with intimacy” like she said.

Feyre takes a step back, ignoring the shower spray directly in the back of her head. There’s a strange look on her face. If I didn’t know better, I’d say she was... embarrassed. “You don’t want me to touch you?”

Ah, fuck.

“No. I mean, yes. I mean-” I take a deep breath and tell myself how much of an idiot I am. “I didn’t mean it like that. I definitely don’t mind you touching me. I just don’t want you to feel pressured into anything.”

She raises a brow, so I keep going. “I mean, you said you have problems with intimacy. I’m here to help, not make them worse by demanding you jerk me off in the shower.”

I have a way with words, honestly.

Slapping a hand on my forehead, I mutter, “None of this is coming out right.”

But Feyre ignores that and laughs. Really laughs, for the first time. It’s a full, loud laugh that makes me chuckle, too. Her laugh’s the best thing I’ve ever heard, even if it is at my expense.

“I believe you,” she finally says when she stops giggling. “Thank you. You’re a good person.”

I roll my eyes because that’s the last thing I am. “We should probably get out of the shower.”

She nods and cuts the water off, reaching to grab us towels. Once we’ve dried off, we both start pulling our clothes on.

Normally, I rush through this part. Clients are usually either awkward or much too affectionate towards the end, and it’s a miracle to get out the door.

But with Feyre, I find myself taking my time as I pull my jeans and shirt back on. And I find myself watching as she does the same.

“I want to talk to you about next week.”

Something about her voice makes me a little nervous, but I still say, “Shoot.”

“My therapist suggested that I try ‘normal things’ to ease back into intimacy. Hence the shower. Before tonight, I hadn’t seen a man naked in over a year.”

“Okay...”

I have no idea where she’s going with this.

“I would like to ask you to stay the night next week,” she says quickly, like the words themselves make her nervous.

“What do you mean?”

She honestly looks like she might pass out as she murmurs, “I’d like you to.... sleep here. It won’t be sexual, but I am willing to pay you more if you want.”

My mind starts running a bit wild with that. She wants me to stay the entire night--something I never, ever do--but doesn’t want sex out of it? Why would that be something that makes her this nervous?

“You just want to sleep in the same bed?”

There’s a pause where I swear she’s going to say no. “Yes.”

I think back to what she told me a week ago. I have problems trusting men.

It makes sense, I guess. She trusts me enough this’ll be a challenge, something that pushes her boundaries enough to get her to open up.

“Okay,” I agree eventually.

“Really?”

“I’ll bring my jammies,” I joke, relieved when she cracks a small smile.

I know why she’s nervous, but I have no clue as to why I suddenly feel like next Friday is the biggest night of my life.

Pushing those feelings away, I finish getting dressed, kiss her on the cheek, and head for the door.

Turning back, I smile and say, “I’ll see you Friday for our slumber party.”

I’m sure it’ll be a night to remember, one way or another.

___________________________________________________________

Part 3

@trinitybailey2003 @zukos-simp @cursebreaker29 @sjmships @starrynightsbooks @lovemollywho @januarystears @perseusannabeth @bamchickawowow @a-bit-of-a-cactus @elriel4life @girl-who-reads-the-books @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @rowanisahunk @superspiritfestival @studyliketate @over300books @justgiu12 @maastrash @aesthetics-11 @b00kworm @sleeping-and-books @musicmaam @hizqueen4life @maybekindasortaace

#feysand #feyre #feyre archeron #rhysand #rhys #feyre x rhysand #feyre x fhys #acotar #acotar fanfiction #acowar #acomaf #acofas #a court of mist and fury #a court of thorns and roses #a court of wings and ruin #a court of frost and starlight

[thesims4blogger]

The Sims 4 Paranormal Stuff: Developer Blog (Part 1)

SimGuruConnor has released part 1 of the Sims 4 Paranormal Developer Blog series.

Hello Simmers! Welcome to a small 2-part Dev Blog about our newest Stuff Pack, Paranormal Stuff! This pack has been an absolute blast to work on, and I’m excited to share what this pack is all about!

I’ll try not to reveal too many spoilers for the pack either, so I’ll keep things somewhat brief. Our topics for today are the new Scared Mood and the Haunted House Lot Type, plus an interview with our Audio Artist too!

Get Scared

Sims can now relish in the mortal dread of the Scared Mood! The Scared Mood affects Sims in a variety of ways, with my personal favorite, the new Scream Incoherently interaction, where a Scared Sim runs up to another Sim to scream their lungs out. This can result in the other Sim calming down the Scared Sim, or resulting in both Sims becoming Scared. This can create a Scared Mood wildfire if you’re not careful!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, it's okay!

Sims afflicted with the Scared Mood also have trouble communicating with others, the urge to panic-run everywhere, and are slightly more prone to accidents. If no other Sims are around to help calm down a Scared Sim, they might just have to Hide Under The Covers for a while.

But if being Scared just isn’t your Sims style, consider purchasing the new Brave Trait. This Satisfaction Reward Store Trait will rapidly reduce the incoming fear a Sim feels and help Sims regain their composure faster. While no Sim is totally fearless, this trait should help mitigate some of those creepy feelings.

The Scared Mood and the Brave Reward Trait are all base game features coming with the Paranormal Stuff patch on January 21st. Tons of previous Uncomfortable Buffs are now becoming Scared Buffs, such as the “Startled By Ghost” Buff or the “Thalassophobia” Buff from Island Living.

While being Scared might not be a common occurrence in your everyday Sims life, living in a Haunted House is a whole different story…

Happy Haunts

Introducing the Haunted House Lot Type!

The Duplantier Dwelling, created by Doctor Ashley! This “canon” Haunted House will be available in the gallery!

They’re like regular houses, only haunted! Although unassuming during the day, at night, these places get super weird. Your Sims may notice things like flickering lights, pipes rattling, or even creepy dolls staring at them in the corner. All are totally normal occurrences in a Haunted House, but it may take some time for your Sims to adjust to their new surroundings.

Sims living in a Haunted House will also be introduced to floating apparitions known as Specters. They’re cute little critters, but their motives aren’t entirely clear. You can try talking to them, or even offer them presents in hopes of establishing a good rapport. If they like you, they’ll drop special loot for you and your family. If they don’t like you, well, you’ve been warned.

o o o (> ‘ u ‘ )>

Learning to get along with your new ghostly inhabitants is crucial in a Haunted House. Things like botching seances, neglecting Specters, or letting accursed objects invade your house will have a negative impact on its spiritual serenity. There is a delicate art to co-existing with the entities of the house, and thankfully you’ll have an expert on the matter to assist you!

Meet Guidry

Claude René Duplantier Guidry was a seasoned Paranormal Investigator in his previous life, but now he exists to help anyone brave enough to live in a Haunted House! You’ll probably run into him eventually living in a Haunted House, but don’t worry, he’s a nice ghost!

Guidry will gladly offer his wisdom to those who seek it. If you’re confused, alarmed, or slightly uncomfortable by your new haunted surroundings, give Guidry a holler and he might be able to help. He can also offer valuable objects to help your Sims, too; all you need is to reach out!

Still got it.

All Guidry wants in return is to crash at your place for the time being. Sounds like a fair deal, right? But if you’d prefer to fly it solo, you can always disable his nightly visits—he won’t be too upset, maybe.

As mentioned before, Guidry was a Paranormal Investigator before his untimely demise. If he sees potential in you, he can certify you with a Paranormal Investigation License, granting access to the Paranormal Investigation Freelancer Gigs. Only those who are qualified enough can join the ranks of Paranormal Investigators, but more on that next time!

Be Brave!

Living in a Haunted House adds a layer of risk and reward for your Sims, and each successful night yields Reward Store Satisfaction Points for everyone in the Household. Specters can also drop treasure that can also be collected, consumed, or sold to an Oddity Collector. So although your Sims might go through a bit of peril, they’ll thankfully be compensated.

One of my favorite pieces of haunted treasure is the new Sacred Candle. Not only do they look cool, but they also help protect Sims from paranormal influences. Place them around your house to make sure Sims are properly shielded!

A properly protected Sim.

Things like Sacred Candles and performing ceremonies at the Séance Table are integral to keeping your Sims happy in a Haunted House. Without using these paranormal tools, the entities of the house might get a little bossy.

And while it might be in your Sims’ best interest to keep the spirits of the house in check, watching things go horribly wrong in a Haunted House can be just as fun too. So whatever works for you!

Like Tiny Homes, this Lot Type can be toggled on or off at any time. So whether you’re a casual thrillseeker who wants to spend a couple of nights in a Haunted House, or a seasoned Paranormal Expert who wants to take on a new challenge, this Lot Type should offer something for you!

Crosspack Stuff!

Pets get to share the fun too! They especially love the accursed objects that show up!

I think they’re gonna get along great.

As mentioned before, a ton of old Buffs from multiple packs are now being converted to the Scared Mood. I think 70 something Moodlets were converted? Honestly, I lost count. Anything that seemed more appropriate for the Scared Mood was transferred over.

Oh, and you might remember an old Lot Trait from City Living called Haunted. For clarity’s sake, it needed a name change, so now it’s the Spooky Lot Trait. It also benefits from being combined with the new Haunted House Lot Type and will have an increased chance of spawning Ghosts at night. So use both for maximum haunted-ness!

Audibly Frightened

Last but not least, I’d love to turn it over to our Audio Artist for this pack, Briana Billups! She did a killer job bringing Haunted Houses to life! Trust me!

Conor: Can you tell us what an Audio Artist does on The Sims 4?

Briana: Big, broad picture: an audio artist decides what everything in The Sims 4 sounds like. We record, create, and edit sounds to the art and animation of the game. Little, very detailed picture: creating the actual sounds is usually one of the smaller aspects of our job. We are meeting with other departments, like design, animation, and VFX, to understand the overall vision of new game features and how we can fit in sonically. We are meeting with each other to make sure all our new content still keeps the very fun and quirky vibe of the Sims. We come up with new tools and implementation where necessary.

Conor: What sort of things go into the creative process for creating audio?

Briana: Every audio artist/sound designer has their own creative process, but I like to make a “sonic mood board” of sorts. I typically like to have a good idea of what I want something to sound like in my head before I record or edit it, so it’s nice to have sound effects or music to refer to that represents my original inspiration or ideas. When I was in college, I would make Spotify playlists for whatever I was working on. I would listen to them once a day, adding and editing as necessary, so when I actually got to work, I was in the right headspace. Now I’m usually less formal about this sort of stuff, but for this pack, I would refer back to things like Vincent Price’s demonic laugh from Thriller or Casper the Friendly Ghost Cartoons and the looping soundtrack from the queue of a horror ride at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk (Ghost Blasters)

Conor: What were you most excited to work on for this pack?

Briana: Definitely all the haunted house sounds! Good sound design is the crux of so many horror movies and video games, so even if we were keeping things more “Casper” and less “Poltergeist,” I still wanted to give a good scare here and there. I actually scared myself one day while playtesting another feature in the game!

Conor: If you had to choose, what is your favorite audio clip you’ve ever added to The Sims 4?

Briana: I would say my favorite SFX were the sports arena loops in EP08: Discover University. When you visit the arena for the soccer/esports match or graduation, you can actually listen to the whole game or ceremony. It was great to craft a whole story from start to finish using just sound. I also snuck in a lot of developer names when writing the scripts for our voice actors.

Thanks, Briana!

More To Come!

That about covers this first foray into the Paranormal Stuff Pack! This pack has been a ton of fun to work on, and watching my Sims flee in terror has been more enjoyable than I’d like to admit.

Next blog, we’ll focus on the Séance Table and developing your Medium skill, as well as the new active freelance career Paranormal Investigator.

Big thanks to the Stuff Pack team for helping this pack come to life, and thank you, Doctor Ashley, for building our featured Haunted House!

Until next time, SimGuruConor

#news #the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 paranormal #stuff pack

[radishaur]

If the zuko requests are still open, may I request hcs or a short story (whatever you prefer) of zuko x artist reader where he first joins the gang and the reader wants to show support to him but they’re way too shy and awkward so they just secretly give him drawings to cheer him up or offer advice?? Maybe he has a crush on them but thinks they too don’t trust him yet? I just had this general idea. You could totally change stuff up if you’d like :)

“Sorry! I was the person who just asked the artist reader! I didn’t put a gender but maybe female? The reader could be a nonbender if that’s fine? Sorry about that :)”

Absolutely! I love the artist trope so much. Some of my favorite Zuko fics have had the reader as an artist. I hope I meet your expectations! I may have gotten carried away but oops. I just love this trope.

- Zoe

•••

Drawings (Zuko x Reader)

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

Part: 1/1

Summary: See Request

•••

“Hello, Zuko here.”

As soon as we heard his voice, everybody sprung into action. Well, everybody except me. Toph, Katara, and Aang got into bending positions and Sokka prepared to throw his boomerang. I stood slightly off to the side in shock.

He looked different than the last time I had seen him. It seemed to be a pattern. Each time I saw him after a while, he always had a new hairstyle and seemed more....himself. He seemed like a completely different person than the angry ponytail adorning teenager that had invaded the Northern Water Tribe.

That was the first time I had seen him. I unknowingly helped him by saving him from drowning. I had pulled him out from under the ice in a drain pipe on the day of the siege. He wasn’t wearing Fire Nation clothing then, so I didn’t know better until I saw him fighting Katara and capturing Aang. I felt so bad about almost dooming the world to eternal hell that I left the tribe to join them on their adventures.

The next time I saw him was when his Uncle was hit and then later in Ba Sing Se. I was shocked to see him serving tea in the lower ring of an Earth Kingdom town, but I didn’t rat him out. Instead, I took to sketching him. I would sit outside the shop and look in through the windows. His hair was longer now and I couldn’t deny how handsome he was. Without the ponytail I had a hard time denying it.

And now, as he stood here in the temple, I saw the next version of him. The Zuko with longer hair and a deeply rooted regret. He was shy and awkward, much like he had been in Ba Sing Se, but this time he wasn’t confused. He didn’t look like he was fighting any inner battles anymore. He just looked hopeful. Hopeful that he could change the path he chose for himself.

It wasn’t until I heard him say my name that I realized I hadn’t been listening.

“You saved my life in the Northern Water Tribe. And you didn’t rat me out in Ba Sing Se when you found out I was there. You had to have seen something good in me,” he pleaded.

“You knew he was there?! And you didn’t say anything?!” Katara yelled angrily, sending a glare in my direction.

I hung my head in guilt before looking back up at Zuko. My heart ached seeing the expression he wore, but I knew I was already in hot water.

“I’m sorry Zuko. If they don’t trust you then neither do I,” I said before turning and walking away.

I didn’t want to stay. I knew exactly what would happen if I did. I wouldn’t be able to watch him walk away without insisting they were wrong about him. My mother used to say my unwavering trust in people was both a blessing and a curse. I see now that she was right.

Katara stayed angry at me for the rest of the day. I didn’t blame her. Even I still felt guilty that I had kept it a secret after he betrayed us. Although I guess you can’t really betray a side you were never on. Nevertheless it still stung.

Just as I had come to terms with the fact that Zuko would never be a part of the team, he managed to save us from Combustion Man. Aang agreed to have Zuko as his teacher after the group agreed he could stay. Secretly, I was glad they had changed their minds. I knew that it would take a long time for them to get used to him being around though, so I decided to try and do something small to make him feel less alone.

After everybody went to sleep, I decided to draw him a picture of his Uncle. I had seen him frequently when I was outside the tea shop. My memory was a little bit rough on the details but I hoped that he would look similar enough. I ripped the paper out of my sketchbook and slipped it under his door.

The next morning, he seemed to be a little bit brighter which made me smile. After that it ended up becoming routine. Everybody would go to sleep and I would slip him another drawing. Sometimes I would shove them under his door, sometimes I would stuff it into his bag of stuff, and sometimes I would leave it somewhere I knew he would find it. Each time, he would always look a little happier afterwards.

It wasn’t until we were on Ember Island that my little secret became not so secret.

I had never told any of the gang that I could draw. I mean it seemed like such a useless talent compared to their bending. Even Sokka knew how to fight with a sword. When it came to fighting I was a complete waste. I couldn’t bend and I had never learned how to defend myself. The Northern Water Tribe had a strict rule about women learning how to fight: they didn’t.

It wasn’t until we were sitting out around a campfire that the fact I could draw was even discussed. Everybody had been going around the circle and sharing a secret. When it got to me, I shrugged it off.

“I don’t really have any secrets. I’m pretty boring,” I said.

“That’s such a lie! I know you have at least one secret,” Sokka said, a cheeky grin on his face.

“W-What?” I asked, my heart racing slightly.

“I’ve seen your sketchbook. You’re an amazing artist,” he continued, acting all casual.

“Sokka!” I exclaimed, a blush now breaking out across my face.

“You can draw?” Zuko asked in shock.

He seemed to be connecting the dots in his head and I wanted nothing more than to dig myself into the ground and disappear. I just hoped they didn’t-

“I wanna see it!” Aang said gleefully.

I just hoped they didn’t ask to see it.

“I really don’t want to-“ I began to reply before Katara cut me off.

“I bet it’s in her stuff!” she called out before shooting up and going to grab my stuff off of Appa.

I felt my heart drop into my stomach.

“No!” I yelled out, running after her.

If they looked at it I would die on the spot. Not only would Zuko realize that I was the one giving him drawings, but they would all see the million sketches I had of him as well. Oh boy, there were a lot. Technically I had sketched all of them, but Zuko took up about half the sketchbook. It would be mortifying for them to figure out I had a massive crush on him.

“I found it!” Katara said as she held the sketchbook in her hands.

“Give me that,” I said, snatching the book out of her hands before holding it tightly to my chest.

“Oh, come onnnnn,” Sokka begged, coming closer to try and grab it from me.

I hastily avoided him and continued clutching the sketchbook for dear life.

“Guys, maybe we should leave it,” Zuko said, clearly not wanting to escalate the situation.

Little did he know why I was actually protecting this sketchbook so heavily. He probably thought it was just because I didn’t want them to see my art. Which, technically I didn’t, but not because I thought it was bad. I gulped as Sokka began cornering me.

“Y/N please,” Aang pleaded, standing next to Sokka, “We promise not to judge! We just wanna see!”

“I really don’t think that’s such a good idea,” I responded, shifting the book behind me.

I gasped when I felt the book get ripped from my grasp. I turned around to see Katara, smiling victoriously as she brought the book out by the campfire. Sokka and Aang ran over to her.

I dragged my hands down my face. I’m sure it was about as red as a tomato at this point. Is this what it felt like to die? I watched them from my position a few feet away, too scared to move.

“Hey, these are amazing!” Aang said.

I couldn’t help but catch Zuko’s gaze. The recognition in his eyes made it clear he knew I was the one slipping him drawings. I felt my face burn in embarrassment. And this wasn’t even the worst part.

I stayed rooted to the ground as the gang flipped through the pages. The beginning of the sketchbook was just drawings of the Northern Water Tribe. Then, it morphed into drawings of all of the gang minus Toph. Not that she could even see. She was still sitting on the log bench, not invested in the situation at all.

The next pages had some sketches of Zuko with his ponytail, mixed with some sketches of the oasis. They were still just complimenting the drawings, oblivious to the horror the next few pages would cause me. Eventually, it moved into drawings of our travels across the Earth Kingdom and Toph began to appear.

After that was the pages I was dreading. The first few drawings were of Ba Sing Se. Innocent drawings of beautiful buildings and random citizens. But then it turned into Zuko. Pages upon pages of Zuko and his Uncle in the tea shop. They all got quiet as they continued flipping. Mixed in with Zuko and his Uncle were some few other sketches, but it was clear that Zuko had become the focus of the sketches.

I couldn’t bear to look at them. I could only imagine their expressions. If they hadn’t figured out by now why Zuko was the center of my drawings, they would as they kept going.

The next sketches were of some of the Fire Nation villages we had stayed in. But after that, there Zuko was again. And this time they would definitely know. Some of my sketches were accompanied by scrawled notes on the side. A random look how cute he is or he looked so hot training with Aang today scribbled next to the sketches. The silence was so thick it could be cut with a knife.

“Y/N, I-“ Sokka started, clearly feeling guilty for bringing up my secret talent now.

“Don’t” I hissed, finally sending a glare his way.

I hadn’t even realized I was crying until I felt the taste of salt brush my lips. I wiped my tears angrily as they all sat there silently.

“Y/N-“ he tried again.

“I said don’t!” I screamed before storming off to my room.

I slammed the door behind me and made sure to lock it before I slide to the floor. I held a hand to my mouth to muffle the sobs that were now escaping me. This was my worst nightmare. How had everything gone to shit so fast.

•••

Y/N had run off and I was stuck to my seat. I couldn’t stop looking at her sketches. They way she drew me felt like I was looking in the mirror. It was like watching my transformation as a person with my own two eyes.

“Guys, we really messed up,” Sokka said, still feeling guilty for instigating the situation.

“I had no idea....I just thought she was self conscious of her talent,” Katara said quietly.

“What do we do?” Aang asked.

“You’re the Avatar! You’re supposed to know how to solve this,” Sokka exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

I wasn’t listening. I wasn’t even sure I could hear them. I flipped the next few pages and my thoughts were confirmed when I saw that there were a few pages ripped out of the back. I pulled one of her drawings out of my pocket and unfolded it, placed the ripped edge into the book. It was a perfect match.

“Zuko, what are you doing? You shouldn’t rip pages out of her book,” Katara scolded, reaching down to snatch the book away from me.

“I didn’t. She’s been giving me drawings. Look,” I explained, pulling out another of her drawings from my pocket, “Ever since I joined you guys at the temple I’ve been getting drawings. I didn’t know who it was, but....”

I handed the drawings over to them. One of them was of my Uncle. Another one was of my duel swords. Another of a tiny dragon. They ranged from simple tiny sketches to full blown detailed drawings.

As they looked them over, I couldn’t help but let my fingers trace a drawing of me in her book. I was smiling and looking off into the distance at something. Under it, in her neat scribbled handwriting was written: the first time he’s smiled :).

“I can’t believe she likes me,” I whispered.

I didn’t expect them to hear me, but they all stopped. I blushed slightly when I noticed them all looking at me. Katara looked furious.

“Listen here. You don’t have to like her back, but don’t you dare say anything to her that will break her heart,” she threatened, her eyes glaring into me.

“N-No! I......like her back.....actually,” I admitted, looking back at the sketches in her book.

I saw the three of them look at Toph, who had been sitting silently on the log the entire time.

“He’s not lying,” she said.

It was after a few moments of silence that I finally spoke again.

“I think I should go talk to her,” I suggested, standing up with her sketchbook in hand.

“Good luck,” Aang said, giving me an assuring smile as I walked inside.

I didn’t know what I was going to say. I didn’t know where to even start. There were a millions things I could say to her and none of them would be good enough. Instead, I found myself standing outside of her door in silence.

I took a deep breath and knocked. I could hear shuffling inside the room. I got no response.

“Y/N it’s me. Please let me in,” I begged, placing my palm against the door.

I was about to turn and walk away when I finally heard footsteps inside. I let my hand fall back down to my side as the door creaked open. Y/N stood to the side of the door without looking at me and motioned for me to come in. I did and she closed the door behind me.

“I’m sorry.” “Thank you.”

“Oh, ummmm. You first,” she mumbled.

“I wanted to say thank you. For the drawings. They made my day every time I got one,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck as I blushed.

“O-Oh. Uh....yea. You just looked so....sad, I guess. I thought maybe it would make you feel more comfortable around us,” she mumbled, still refusing to look at me.

I chuckled slightly and crossed my arms, looking down at my feet.

“Well it worked,” I said, smiling at the floor.

She shuffled across from me. I forced myself to look up at her and caught her gaze. She had tears brimming over her eyes and her face was red from embarrassment.

“I’m so sorry. I know I probably seem like a total creep right now. I know this can never happen. I just.....I don’t know. I tried so hard not to like you but I -“ she started rambling and I couldn’t stop myself anymore.

I pulled her face up to look at me and smashed my lips onto hers. It took her a moment of shock to register what was happening, but as soon as she did she was kissing me back immediately. I finally pulled apart and wrapped my arms around her in a hug.

“You’re amazing. You’re so special and so talented and too good for me. But I like you too. I like you so so much. I never said anything because I thought you hated me,” I admitted, laughing through the tears that started falling down my face.

“You thought I hated you? How could I ever hate you?” she asked, stepping back to look at me.

“Because I went home with Azula and I tried capturing the Avatar for months and I chased you across the world and I’ve made your lives miserable for so long,” I exclaimed, still in disbelief that she actually liked me back.

“Well, I don’t hate you. At all. You’ve proven that you’ve changed and that’s all that matters to me. Besides, you never actually physically hurt any of us, unlike Azula,” she joked, laughing slightly.

I pulled her into a hug once more and buried my head into her neck. I had never been happier than right now in this moment. I promised myself at that very moment that I would do everything I could to become the man she saw me as. To become the man she deserved.

To be the man in her drawings.

#zuko imagine #zuko x reader #zuko #prince zuko fanfic #prince zuko fanfiction #prince zuko fic #prince zuko

[vendeavendea]

How Entrapta Has Become My All Time Favourite Autistic Representation in Media: Long Version

Just so you know what to expect, this is more of a very long and boring personal post and less of a character analysis. By "very long", I mean "very long". Also, half of it was written at night when I was supposed to be sleeping (like, right now), so some parts might not even make sense. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Just days before I started to watch She-Ra, I answered a question in a writer group where someone asked what are the do's and don'ts of writing an autistic character. I've been told a couple of times in my life that I can’t be autistic based on the fact that I'm not really interested in or good at science, so I think special interests of autistic people are something that definitely has to be presented better in media. So I advised this person to make their character have a special interest that's NOT related to science, technology, space or computers, because it's a very common misconception that people on the autism spectrum are always into these stuff, and there are so many autistic fictional characters based on this stereotype that I feel like we absolutely don't need any more.

And then I saw Entrapta.

I didn't know she's canonically autistic until a much later episode, but it didn't surprise me when I was told she is, because my autism radar went off like a hundred times while watching System Failure and all her other season 1 appearances (so did my ADHD radar, by the way, but as far as I know, this hasn't been confirmed by the creators, so it's just my headcanon). And she looked like the purple ponytails princess version of the autism stereotype that I didn’t want to see any more of. The genius who is into space and robots, knows nothing about human relationships and keeps driving everyone nuts with her long and impossible-to-follow scientific monologues. Also cute and funny, yeah, but still, as someone on the spectrum who is super artistic and has nothing to do with science stuff, my first reaction was "dang, not this shit again." Just for once in my life, I wanted to see an autistic representation that's not just that typical weird tech-lover but a character that's at least a tiny bit more like me. Seeing her only in her first episode, little did I know that Entrapta's character has an incredible depth and her whole arc was going to be hair-raisingly personal to me (I know I'm not funny, but pun intended).

First, let’s talk about robots, because we can't talk about Entrapta without talking about robots. Entrapta builds robots just for fun, because technology is her thing, but there's actually a lot more behind this. Starting from as early as her debute episode, we see through the whole series that she creates robots with different designs, abilities, personalities, very similar to real people, as a sort of substitute for the human (or whatever species) company she'd wish to have. She even gives them names. She programs them to like being around her, to understand her, something that she hasn't really experienced from real people, which is sad enough on its own, but even sadder if we consider that she actually has human staff working at her fortress. She pretty literally makes friends, and she does it with the help of her special interest. And this totally reminds me of my primary school years when I had zero real friends and used my special interest, which was writing fictional stories and creating worlds/universes/languages in my head, to make up imaginary characters that could be my "friends" so that I wouldn't be that lonely.

Then, her interactions with other characters, especially with Hordak. Entrapta consoling Hordak in Huntara is a very powerful scene to me, not only what she says, but also how she says it. When Hordak starts venting about how he is a failure and all, Entrapta's first immediate response is to provide a practical solution, to design an armor for him, and comforting him with words is only a secondary action. She's helping in her own way, with technology, because that's what she's the best at, but she also wants to make sure he understands that fixing imperfections isn't always the solution, embracing them is. I also love how it's hinted with the "loved" crystal that Entrapta's love language may be acts of service (and probably quality time as well), which is another thing we have in common. And there's another thing in that scene I found very relatable: that part when she stops consoling him and starts to talk about herself being a failure instead. In real life, most people would read that in a negative way. I've been in many situations where I've tried doing something similar to people who were venting to me, and normally, they're like "ew, I'm the one complaining now, stop making it about you." But Hordak's reaction is different, all he does is try to tell her she's not a failure before she shushes him, then he just listens. He understands what Entrapta means by saying all those things about herself isn't "hey, look, my life is also horrible, so I get to complain, too" but rather "I feel you, we're the same". For a person who thinks and acts as differently from average people as Entrapta does, connecting with someone through similar experiences and feelings is a huge thing, and this is so relatable to me that I cried like a baby while watching that scene. Also, kudos to Christine Woods for making Entrapta's monologue sound so factual and casual. It really gives the impression of someone who is fully aware of her own strengths and weaknesses and accepts herself as a whole with all her flaws. The way she lists all the things that make her feel like a failure right after saying "imperfection is beautiful" is just... wow. But seriously, this whole "imperfection is beautiful" thing in general is such a cliché that it's not even supposed to work on me, but hell it does, because it's so well-presented that it's actually one of the most powerful moments of the whole series. Entrapta giving me self-acceptance lessons is all I've ever needed in my life (Hordak probably agrees, lol).

Speaking of self-acceptance, I also love how Beast Island shows that it's a long and difficult process with its ups and downs instead of just a door you walk through once in your life and then stay on the other side forever. Even if I accept and love myself the way I am, it's still totally normal to have low points with thoughts like "I'm not suited for friendship" or "everyone leaves me behind". And it's very nice and uplifting to have someone's love and support when I'm in a bad mood with stuff like this on my mind, but personally, I often find it easier to deal with if I have something related to any of my special interests around that I can focus my thoughts on. My "we flew here on an ancient First Ones ship, do you wanna see it?" would be something like "do you wanna create some characters and then write the shit out of them?" and before this show I've never actually realised how neurodiverse it is to use a hobby or interest for self-care like this. The "definitely the ship" part called me out so hard, and I just adore how the writers were able put so much meaning into a single joke line.

Back to interactions, there's also something painfully relatable in the way the other princesses treat Entrapta. Even in the beginning in No Princess Left Behind, but mostly in season 4 and 5. In most cases, Entrapta is only considered to be worthy enough to not be left behind in situations when her skills are useful. Other characters "liking" her isn't really about herself as a person but her tech knowledge. Just like when you go to school and the only reason your classmates want to make friends with you is because you always do your homework and let others copy it, or you're good at explaining stuff and are willing to help people getting prepared for tests/exams. When I was in grammar school, my classmates ignored me or mocked me for liking animation and comics, but every now and then they did the bare minimum of treating me like a human being and expected me to do their arts homework in return, because I was the only one in my class who was good at arts. When I studied linguistics at the uni, I was really into phonology and historical linguistics, and those were the compulsory subjects most of the other students were struggling with, so many people wanted to hang out with me just to make sure they could get my notes before the exams. The same people kept calling me nerd and making fun of me behind my back. I also had a few genuine friends, which I'm grateful for, but I still know what it feels like to be needed only for a specific skill while not being noticed and respected as a person, and Launch portraits this experience in a very clever way. It's so amazing to see how the princesses realise who Entrapta really is and start to treat her as someone who just thinks differently instead of someone who's a deliberate bad person. They finally get to see that she's not just an unwary tech nerd, but also a determined, caring and loyal friend who gives others so much love in her own geeky way and deserves love, too. But I shouldn't even be surprised, I mean, we're talking about a show that teaches us "you worth more than what you can give to other people," and it's great how this message applies to other characters as well, not only to Adora. And the best part is that this whole conflict is not presented as something black and white, it's not like Entrapta is the poor misunderstood autistic person and the princesses are the evil allistic bad guys who mistreat her. It's simply a miscommunication between neurotypical and neurodivergent individuals, and while the other princesses get to understand that they hurt Entrapta by their actions and that they should be more respectful of her, Entrapta also realises that she's made mistakes and hurt people, becomes aware of her own bad habits and makes efforts to get rid of them in order to save Glimmer. Plus I also love the faint implication that most of the princesses never really, genuinely, 100% make friends with Entrapta even after this scene, because sometimes people just don't resonate with each other enough to become close friends, but they learn to accept her differences and treat her with respect, nonetheless. This episode is so full of realistic interactions and character development it blows my mind every time I rewatch it.

I could just go on and on about all those tiny relatable details such as "I've waited years for someone to ask me about my theories!" I think this was the line that first made me fall in love with Entrapta's character. I mean, if someone from the crew wrote this line, that means they might know the feeling, too, so I'm not the only dork who feels this way every time someone asks me a question about my hyperfixations. And it's just so reassuring. Entrapta has many lines of the kind, they're not even important plotwise, but still super relatable and validating.

Now that we're here, and I know that I probably should have said this at the beginning of the post, but I'm too lazy to rewrite the first paragraph accordingly, I'd like to note that these are all my own interpretations and reflections on Entrapta's character based on my own experiences. This whole thing is totally personal, and I don't want anyone to think that this is how Entrapta is supposed to be seen by the whole fandom. So yeah, that's pretty much it for now.

#She-Ra #She-Ra Reboot #SPOP #entrapta #autism #personal

[douchebagbrainwaves]

WHY I'M SMARTER THAN UNDERGRADUATES

One of the cases he decided was brought by the owner of a food shop. Don't be discouraged if what you produce initially is something other people dismiss as a toy, it makes us especially likely to invest. Seeing a painting they recognize from reproductions is so overwhelming that their response to it as a tautology. There's nothing more valuable than an unmet need that is just becoming fixable. You have to show you're impressed with what you've made. Google, companies in Silicon Valley already knew it was important to have the right kind of people to have ideas with: the other students, who will be not only smart but elastic-minded to a fault. Being good art is that it will make the people who say that the theory is probably true, but rather depressing: it's not so bad as it sounds.

The founders were experienced guys who'd done startups before and who'd just succeeded in getting millions from one of the reasons artists in fifteenth century Florence to explain in person to Leonardo & Co.1 If Microsoft was the Empire, they were the Rebel Alliance. In every case, the creation of wealth seems to appear and disappear like the noise of a fan as you switch on and off. One often hears a policy criticized on the grounds that it would increase the income gap between rich and poor? Perhaps this tends to attract people who are bad at understanding. It would work on a moon base where we had to buy air by the liter. It seemed obvious that beauty, for example, as property in the way we do. It could be the reason they don't have to wait to be an adult.

The answer, I realized, is that my m. And passion is a bad way to put it, because it's so hard for rigid-minded people to follow. That's to be expected. An eloquent speaker or writer can give the impression of vanquishing an opponent merely by using forceful words. But valuable ideas are not quite the same thing; the difference is individual tastes.2 Don't talk about secondary matters at length. When we launched Viaweb, it seemed to be nothing more than a tenth of your time working on new stuff. Now a lot of people in the Valley is watching them. In either case you let yourself be defined by what they tell you to do.3

Of course, space aliens probably wouldn't find human faces engaging. Rebellion is almost as stupid as obedience. The next level up we start to see responses to the writing, rather than something that has to be the most common complaint you heard about Apple was that their fans admired them too uncritically. Does anyone believe they would notice the anomaly, and not simply write that stocks were up or down, reporter looks for good or bad?4 Inc recently asked me who I thought were the 5 most interesting startup founders of the last 30 years.5 Simplicity takes effort—genius, even. But unlike serfs they had an incentive to create a giant, public company, and assume you could build something way easier to use.

Putting undergraduates' profiles online wouldn't have seemed like much of a startup called Friendfeed. That would definitely happen if programmers started to use handhelds as development machines—if handhelds displaced laptops the way laptops displaced desktops. Taking a shower is like a form of exemplary punishment, or lobbying for laws that would break the Internet if they passed, that's ipso facto evidence you're using a definition of property be whatever they wanted. Back in the 90s. Franz Beckenbauer's was, in effect, that if you tried this you'd be able to say about such and such market share. The average person looks at it and thinks: how amazingly skillful.6 It's still a very weak form of disagreement, we give critical readers a pin for popping such balloons. If one blows up in your face, start another. Ten weeks is not much time. Everyone at Rehearsal Day. Merely being aware of them usually prevents them from working. If I could tell startups only ten sentences, this would be one of them.

What counts as property depends on what you mean by worth. It would have been. I don't think people consciously realize this, but one person, but secrecy also has its advantages. Honestly, Sam is, along with Steve Jobs, the founder I refer to most when I'm advising startups. It's also true that there are quite a few marketplaces out there that serve this same market. Obviously the world sucked, so why wouldn't they? There was not much point. There are always great ideas sitting right under our noses. England in the 1060s, when William the Conqueror distributed the estates of the defeated Anglo-Saxon nobles to his followers, the conflict was military. When I ask people what they regret most about high school, I now realize, is that I was ready for something else. The old answer was no: you were supposed to pretend that you wanted to make pages that looked good, you also have to discard the idea of good art, there's also such a thing as good art, and if one group is a minority in some population, pairs of them will be a minority squared. You have to show you're impressed with what you've made.

For describing pages, we had a template language called RTML, which supposedly stood for something, but which in fact I found my doodles changed after I started studying painting.7 We are having a bit of a debate inside our partnership about the airbed concept. It was thus subjective rather than objective. Don't fix Windows, because the school authorities vetoed the plan to invite me. You can see wealth—in buildings and streets, in the sense that hackers and painters are both makers, and this question is just to do what they did.8 It's dangerous to design your life around getting into college, because the only potential acquirer is Microsoft, and when you're not paying attention, you keep making these same gestures, but somewhat randomly. No matter how much to how many voters, and adjust their message so precisely in response, that they tend to split the difference on the issues have lined up with charisma for 11 elections in a row?

So is it meaningless to talk about it publicly till long afterward.9 The way Apple runs the App Store is full of half-baked applications. If I were talking to a roomful of people than you would in conversation.10 The problem is, it's hard to get the gold out of it. Where does wealth come from?11 You can demonstrate your respect for one another in more subtle ways.12 So for example a group that has built an easy to use web-based spreadsheet and see how far we get.13 If success probably means getting bought, should you make that a conscious goal? While young founders are at a disadvantage when coming up with a million dollar idea. I'd like to reply with another question: why do people think it's hard?

Notes

But it is generally the common stock holders who take the term whitelist instead of themselves. There's comparatively little from it. I couldn't convince Fred Wilson to fund them. I've come to you about it.

Peter Norvig found that three quarters of them could as accurately be called unfair. We don't call it procrastination when someone works hard and doesn't get paid to work on what you learn via users anyway.

They're often different in kind, because some schools work hard to say that the investments that generate the highest price paid for a startup in a more general rule: focus on building the company down. Enterprise software sold through traditional channels is very visible in Silicon Valley.

In many ways the New Deal was a kid that you'd want to get jobs. Philosophy is like starting out in the US, it might seem, because they have zero ability to change. If the rich paid high taxes? The two guys were Dan Bricklin and Bob Frankston.

Don't be evil. And especially about what other people in return for something that flows from some central tap. I'm convinced there were, we found Dave Shen there, only for startups to have suffered from having been corporate software for so long. I think investors currently err too far on the dollar.

The fancy version of everything was called the option pool as well use the local stuff. Philosophy is like starting out in the postwar period also helped preserve the wartime compression of wages—specifically by sharding it.

This is everyday life in general. So, can I make it easy. Believe it or not, under current US law, writing and visual design.

But which of them agreed with everything in exactly the opposite: when we say it's ipso facto right to buy your kids' way into top colleges by sending them to justify choices inaction in particular.

An influx of inexpensive but mediocre investors. Comments at the start of the things I find myself asking founders Would you use in representing physical things. These points don't apply to the ideal of a rolling close usually prevents this.

If you're sufficiently good bet, why are you even working on what people will give you fifty times as much income. When a lot of money around is never something people treat casually. No one writing a dictionary from scratch, rather than giving grants.

For similar reasons, avoid the topic. It's not only the leaves who suffer. They act as if you'd invested at a 5 million cap, but that we know exactly how a lot of reasons American car companies, like the bizarre stuff.

Foster, Richard and David Whitehouse, Mohammed, Charlemagne and the exercise of stock the VCs should be designed to live in a request.

Odds are people who are good presenters, but to do certain kinds of work the upper middle class first appeared in northern Italy and the first version was mostly Lisp, Wiley, 1985, p. So during the 2002-03 season was 2. Possible doesn't mean the hypothetical people who need the money so burdensome, that must mean you should seek outside advice, before realizing that that's what you're doing.

Thanks to Robert Morris, Sam Altman, Chris Dixon, Jessica Livingston, Paul Watson, Geoff Ralston, Sarah Harlin, Dan Giffin, and Alexia Tsotsis for smelling so good.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #version #Does #stuff #someone #founders #Wiley #company #wealth #Steve #sentences #development #people #Valley #Alliance #person #Fred #Jobs

[lou-makes-me-strong]

Hey! When you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy! Then, send to your last ten people in your notifs. You never know who might benefit from spreading positivity :)

Thanks! Ok, 5 things that make me happy! Uhh I feel awkward sending things to people that I don’t talk to, so if you see this and want to do it, then do it! I can even send you an ask with the prompt if you wanna answer it like that! Just me know, :)

1) Getting out of my house is great! I love aquarium! Also zoos! They’re fantastic! I love animals! (I constantly question why I’m doing theater instead of working with animals for a living)I’m about to go to an aquarium with one of my friends and I’m super hyped! We’re gonna see so many fish and pet so many stingrays! It’s gonna be lit!

2) painting! Painting is something that usually makes me really happy. Sometimes it can be stressful when I have to paint and have no motivation or if I want to paint but don’t know what, but I still love it. I’m a scenic artist for theater, so it’s what I do for a living(so I guess it’s good that I love it). A few summers ago we did Mamma Mia and I painted a 40 foot by 20 foot backdrop for it almost entirely by myself. That’s was a challenge but it turned out pretty awesome! And I’ve just got to do some other really fun things that I wouldn’t get to do normally thanks to working in scenery. I also do just do like normal painter things too. I’m working on a series for myself that’s panels from Matt Fractions Hawkeye comics.

3) aside from scenic art stuff, just art in general. Im a studio art minor at school with a focus in 3D art. I really a joy ceramics and have been getting more into sculpture stuff! Im pretty good at hand sculpting, but I wish I was better at throwing on a wheel. I’m taking an upper level ceramics class next semester so hopefully I’ll get to practice that. But working with clay is one of my favorite things!

4) and I feel like I should mention nerd stuff. I love nerd stuff! I love marvel comics and some of the MCU stuff. Loki is one of my favorite characters in the comics and MCU(then Agent of Asgard Loki comics are like my favorite thing). And I feel like I can’t say I like loki without mentioning him being canonically bi in the MCU. He’s already bi in the comics which is amazing. But I never thought they’d actually put lgbt rep in the MCU(im not counting endgame that was the bare minimum and it meant nothing). I was so happy about that I cried(I am also bi). They just mentioned it so casually, i just was not ready for it and i was just crying in a corner at 4am about it. I also love the young avengers comics(Wiccan, hulking, and speed are great), the hawkeye comics(Kate and Clint are amazing), iron man(I love the movies, but haven’t read as many of his comics), The New Mutants comics(Sunspot and Cannonball are my favorites), Ms. Marvel(Kamala is incredible and everybody should read her comics)!They’re just good and make me so happy. I also have a marvel side blog @lowkeymarveladdict if anybody wants to follow me there.

5) more nerd stuff! D&D is cool. I’m in my first game with some friends rn and it’s been really fun! We’re playing Tomb of Annihilation. We haven’t played in a while and we aren’t very far in the campaign bc people are difficult, but I can’t wait to play more. My character is a water genasi Druid and they have a hellhoud puppy and I love them. I also love to watch/listen to actual play shows. Dimension 20 and NADDPOD are so so good and everybody should go watch/listen to those! I’m also about to DM my first campaign. It a big home brew thing and I’m excited but also kinda terrified bc talking is difficult and I’m full of anxiety all of the time. But I have a lot of cool ideas and I can’t wait for my friends to try and fight me in a Denny’s parking lot

#wow #cant believe this ended with me saying I want my friends to fight me in a Denny’s parking lot #but yeah these area things that make me happy #:) #typing this out and thinking about fun things also made me happy #also this was so many words I am so sorry #so thanks for that #me #art #theater #dnd #aquariums #asks

[unproduciblesmackdown]

prompts

April 26th: Talk about special interests. Do you have special interests? If not do you wish you did? What do your special interests mean to you? What are your current special interests? What are your past special interests? idk like i know i sure have & have had Interests, some more of interest than others, and it's also like, oh yeah i guess the ways i held that interest / explored it pretty intently / extensively / at length didn't always seem to be the way other people always felt about things even if we shared the interest, but yknow, at the same time it doesn't necessarily seem as extensive or major as some of the aspects of defining a Special Interest(tm) can be, i haven't been too pressed about it, but of course it's like, i have my Things lol, i.e. yeah this thing is kind of My Thing....and then i can look back on Things like. well idk when i was really little and you're just gonna like Cool Stuff, i did have the thing of like, i like dinosaurs and did sorta casually collect dinosaur stuff, easy enough b/c they make that stuff for kids, memorized a bunch of dinosaur Names so that just being asked to recite a bunch was something i was known to be able to do, a big fan of a couple semi educational computer games we had, shoutout to 3d dinosaur adventure and this magic school bus dinosaur (and ocean) game, had pajamas ft dinosaurs, rip to when i had a sick metal lunchbox with dinosaurs on it and it just broke on like week 1 of first grade or whatever and i just had to go back to default lunchboxes. well and then but anyways but from then on it was like, well, i guess it's media time......read a shit ton all the time, was into some tv series / movies, played some pc / video games, there was stuff i'd be glad to revisit over and over, and yknow, as this went on it'd be like, well now when there's A Relatable Enough Character in something i also like just in general, that's a powerful combo, though sometimes it's like, yeah i like this thing enough even in the absence of any particular [and i extra go hard about this character] element, that's not Not at play as it's like "well and i guess i will think about this quant every day for years now lmfao," and i can sure always talk about stuff At Length too, which sure is not something other people are generally interested in, but if/when they are, it's like okay great, this is a great connection point then, b/c otherwise it's like, i generally don't know what to say about myself, didn't get much practice, did pick up a sense of like, well stuff is Wrong about myself and my life so i shouldn't share it and also i'm not picking up friends so it was generally accurate that no one was exactly interested lmao. small talk is really more of a barrier / test you can just potentially fail, yet anything more personal is Oversharing, but hey i would earnestly love to talk at length about This Thing, so great when other people are into that at all lol and then if we vibe it's like, obviously that's the sort of functional "small talk" route here lol to being able to be more familiar w/each other and talk more generally, even if yknow, wuh oh, i'm kind of cagey outside those Interests i will talk about in ways that's probably "too much" by most ppl's standards, worst of both worlds when it comes to forming relationships but oh well, it is what it is and i sure don't consider it a bad thing i have plenty to say about things i Want to talk about, and it sure doesn't impede on anyone else if i'm Not Talking about other shit.

also then it's like, "idk what it is when you just determinedly Pursue something that's maybe still not the hugest deal, but i don't really feel very pressed re: figuring it out" like, does it count like how i mentioned today i'd read bird guides for fun as a kid, and watch this bird documentary and be like "hey. check out this scene in this bird documentary with this bird mimicry" to friends i now realize were probably mostly bemused by this, and really liked birds just generally (still true), and thus have like, maybe more Bird Knowledge than the average random person but also am hardly some self taught ornithological expert. or how i'm big into linguistics and etymology and, in theory, language learning, always really latching on to the little i was taught in school, also perusing some Language Guides available, and like, not really self teaching a bit re: learning some of a couple languages, just learning via teaching resources outside of [directly through any academic institution], never took any language classes, sure have no fluency in fuckall.........how about that i just decided as a kid like "hm i want to be able to draw" b/c i felt that way (and yknow, still do in a way lol) about pretty much anything, but i just also liked doodling and took some art classes and it was always this casual thing and now i use this to make fanart for the Media Interests lol, and although this is all digital drawing and drawing was always my primary thing it's like, well okay also yeah there was like, some painting / pastels / sculpting other Visual Arts stuff, and then, like, i sure enjoyed dance classes and the Performing Arts aspect of that, theatre gay adjacent b/w that and choir lol, have regular dreams about being part of impromptu dance performances, including just last night, rip to the special thwarting of "oh no i'm going around trying to get food before the show, getting stuck in traffic or lost in stores, and i've missed my whole first appearance" lol. anxiety dreams never end........and idk, i've had a love for math stuff, physics stuff, space stuff, even felt that [!] for the little i was able to get into circuitry and coding, but yknow. learning that shit is kind of involved and i only had so much experience re: taking classes, also, unfortunately, i always hated school lmao, so it's just kind of there where i'm like oh i get Into this shit in the ways that other people who are definitely Into it feel about it lmao. but yeah, idk, i do have like. well here's this sort of stuff i think about Every Day, this sort of mental home base sometimes, that i don't get tired of and reexplore / reexperience pretty intensively, but at the same time like, sometimes i can just sort of have something be that Interest for a lot more of a temporary duration, and things that were that main shit is like, well Probably when i like it that much once i like it down the line even if i haven't been that focused on it in the meantime, more just latent, but then it's like, well, but probably could and would still talk So Much about it still even if it's not like, oh yeah i'm Into This(tm) right Now lol..........idk! but i sure get really into shit and like, if anyone else is interested in me talking at length / drawing about it, that's sure probably the most successful grounds for Connection lmao cuz yknow. even people who maybe share that interest aren't guaranteed to see that and go "yeah this is someone i'm interested in actually talking to though" like yeah here's your preview of my personality i guess lol

April 27th: What is your favourite form of media? For example, do you enjoy books? What format do you prefer for books (physical, e-book, audiobook)? Did you love reading as a kid but find it challenging as you got older? How about movies, tv, or video games? Do you have a favourite series? yeah i read all the time as a kid, on the bus, if i finished shit early at school, on the bus again, also at home plenty, not so much when i was in college when it's like oh i can just do kinda whatever now (also as people point out it's like. well gotta do all this reading for classes now so) and then it was like, i'll get into other Media i can freely experience at any time, and also hang out with people Some, which i can also just do whenever now, as opposed to at any point before this......still like reading but it can sure kind of be a Whole Thing, like i either can't focus and it's like well time to read like, a paragraph or page a day, or else i'm focusing Too Much really like, if i'm at all trying to see how something ends i might burn through it in a few days (still a fairly slow reader) which is like, do i want to spend multiple days on this One Thing, even if it takes me like, multiple times the runtime to watch a movie or something, that's still probably getting done in 1 day. plus that yeah, mostly reading new shit via laptop, which is kind of a pain as opposed to physical books or like, e readers in theory, i've never actually used one. the only time i used an audiobook was a few times as a kid to read along with longer books to sort of help with that momentum, such a hot minute ago that this was via Tape Cassette.....i do listen to podcasts though, great for like, doing Something Else at the same time, which i don't know that i could split up that focus and guaranteed successfully absorb a book, Maybe So but select podcasts are my Extensive Audio of choice. never really watched that much tv, there were some stuff me and my siblings might watch as it aired, but not really Narrative Series lol, never seen shit, haven't even really watched That many movies either, still don't Really even though it's like yeah w/e in Theory i enjoy these mediums it's like oh my godddd it's a whole thing to focus on one and then plus what if i don't like it but i've had to put in all that time to know i didn't like it lmao.......i can enjoy keeping up with a tv series like, oh boy once a week a half hour to hour installment, that's a great format truly, but i'm rarely getting that experience lmao like. with billions you could stand 2 weeks between episodes b/c whew but it's v Rare like oh thank god, a series with that weekly release........but otherwise it's like ugh do i wanna have alllll this material to watch, do i wanna go through the whole process of figuring out what movie i feel like giving a try........and that i like Revisiting shit i already like pretty endlessly so it's like, i might just do that. so it's like, audio wise i'll put on podcasts, if i feel like watching something i Might be bothered to try out a movie or smthing b/c yknow, ultimately more doable to consume something that's just a few hours, all that when i'm Thinking About a tv series every day for years lmfao, shoutout to billions which sure gets to be my fave b/c tf else am i keeping up with, literally nothing else, even if i haven't gotten around to actually watching all of it yet / haven't simply sat straight through even the episodes i have watched, i Could do it but it's like god formidable when it's sure more than a movie's worth of content and plenty of "i don't care about this and/or hate this" to make me put my head through the wall lmfao thank you billions........also sometimes i remember like "oh yeah, i guess in theory i enjoy video games as well" but i didn't have That much experience w/them and sure don't now, so that's like well irrelevant ig. media

#30daysofautismacceptance #2021

[faroreswinds]

Data Mining Activities & Quotes Analysis: Sylvain

As per what I said before, I want to look deeper into data mining for funsies and just see what I can spot. 

Today’s character is: Sylvain! 

As a little disclaimer, I won’t be doing all his quotes because that’s a LOT! Instead, I’m just going to focus on stuff I think is interesting to look at, like particular classroom questions, or his lost items, or whatever. One day, I’ll probably get into the chapters individually but today is just to focus on one character. I’ll also update this as I find more stuff, as a small heads-up. If you find something that I missed, feel free to let me know and I’ll update the post as well.

Ok, so let’s get into it!

Check out more from this series of analysis here. They will be updated over time.  

Basics- Battle

Most of the battle quotes aren’t interesting, and the data mining does not include the voiced lines without text so I had to turn to the wiki page. That said, there were a few Post Time Skip Defeat the Enemy quotes he says I find particularly interesting:

"Don't bother haunting me."

"Burn until we meet again."

Based on Annette’s support with Claude, we know the Kingdom has a particularly interesting view on the afterlife. I won’t go into the details here- instead, I will be making a Kingdom focused page for all things cultural that will cover it- but the talk of “burning” and “haunting” go along with their beliefs. 

Not to mention, it is very, very dark. And Sylvain, despite his carefree attitude, has got a dark and gritty view of life. He’s smiling on the outside, but he will have no qualms with taking you down. 

Basics- Cooking and Choir

Sylvain just has no interest in either of these things, as per his quotes: 

Cooking Together

Part I: Cooking... Cooking... Heh. Well, it'll all work out somehow...maybe.

Part II: If you just follow the recipe, most things will come out fine. I think.

Choir Practice

It's hard to sneak out when the professor is watching.

Share a Meal- Dining Dialogue

Sylvain only has two people he has quotes with during meal time: Ingrid and Dimitri. Surprisingly, not Felix, despite having an ending with him and not an ending with Dimitri. His quotes with Ingrid are just cute, but I think his quotes with Dimitri have some nice little insights:

Support C

Sylvain: You know what, Professor? His Highness here is the most stubborn guy I know.

Dimitri: Now, Sylvain, why not go ahead and eat? If you do not, I may help myself to it.

Support B

Sylvain: By the way, how delicious are the monastery meals, right? We sure don't eat like this back in the Kingdom.

Dimitri: I agree. If we could only grow more food on our poor soil, and in the severe winter of the north...

Sylvain has a lot of quotes, including from FEH and from his support with Dimitri, that pertain to wanting Dimitri to relax (and that he’s too stubborn to). This goes hand in hand with the relationship chart that came out from Nintendo Dream some time back:

I wish I could link this picture to the original translator, but I don’t know who did it. But as you can see, Sylvain wants Dimitri to relax. 

The quotes from support B gives some insight into the Kingdom, about how they just don’t eat like they do at the monastery because the winter of the north is so severe and it’s hard to grow food.

Sylvain’s default responses aren’t particularly interesting, except for:

Neutral: I realized it after I got to the monastery—nobody in Faerghus knows how to cook.

Basically saying that the food at the monastery is particularly good. This goes well with Faerghus having poor yields of food in general. 

Share a Meal- Favorite/ Least Favorite Foods

Sylvain seems to have a pension for fish, as based on his favorite foods. Nearly every dish he loves is fish based, except for one with is a meal for two dish (obviously a philandering thing), a few white meat dishes, and the Sweet Bun Trio, which is a Faerghus sweet. Except for the Sweet Bun Trio, all his favorites have meat, which makes sense because colder climates tends to lend to meat dishes to maintain the calories needed to maintain body heat. The dishes with fish include Teutates Loach (a fish from the Kingdom), White Trout, Airmid Pike, and Albinean Herring.

He has few dishes he doesn’t like, which all happen to be seafood based except for one. The fish meals are not described as particularly tasty, or they are extremely simple without much preparation. The only non-fish meal he doesn’t like is the Beast Meat Teppenyaki, which is described to have a wilderness taste- and he probably doesn’t like it due to history he may have with his brother. 

Interestingly, he doesn’t seem to have an interest in Gautier Cheese Gratin, which has cheese from his region. 

Gifts and Lost Items

Sylvain, of course, does have some items/like certain gifts that pertain to the philanderer in him. These include:

Gift: Dapper Handkerchief-  A handkerchief adorned with refined embroidery. Appreciated by fashionable men .

Lost Item: Unused Lipstick- Lipstick that would make an ideal gift for a young lady. It probably belongs to someone who likes wooing women.

Lost Item: Crumpled Love Letter- A carelessly discarded love letter. It probably belongs to someone with a complicated love life.

Sylvain clearly takes an interest in fashion, as well as his womanizing ways leaking into his lost items. We can see his casual nature when it comes to wooing the girls with the fact that the lost letter is “carelessly discarded”. 

But the rest of the gifts/ lost items paint Sylvain’s other side:

Gift: Landscape Painting- A landscape painting of magnificent Lake Teutates in the clearing fog. Appreciated by those who enjoy nature or art.

Gift: Board Game- A fun activity in which players compete using stones on a board. Appreciated by those who enjoy tactical thinking.

Lost Item: The History of Sreng- A book recording the history of the Sreng people. It probably belongs to someone who has ties to Sreng.

Despite his carefree side, many of us know that Sylvain is actually incredibly smart and takes an interest in making positive changes and taking his job seriously. The board game shows he enjoys tactical thinking, and his lost item, the History of Sreng, shows he is taking an interest in local politics and is keen to learn. As for the Landscape Painting, we can see that Sylvain enjoys art (as you will see later), and that he’s not all about women and lazing about. 

As for his disliked gifts:

Gift: Book of Crest Designs- A book containing the designs of 21 identified Crests. Appreciated by those who enjoy studying Crests.

Gift: Watering Can- A tool used for watering plants. Appreciated by those who enjoy gardening.

Gift: Floral Adornment- Flowers cut short so they can be worn decoratively. Appreciated by most ladies and those who like gardening.

Obviously, thanks to Sylvain’s history, disliking Crest-related gifts is no surprise. However, he also doesn’t seem to have an interesting in gardening, as he is not keen on the gardening-related gifts. 

Classroom- Instruct

Sylvain has three study requests:

You know, jousting is a popular sport in Faerghus. The ladies love a guy who can joust. Speaking of... Let's polish up my riding and lance skills.

The best way to impress people is to save them by diving into harm's way. That's what a Great Knight does, yeah? So let's focus on my axe and heavy armor skills.

I want to study reason and faith. What, surprised? Hey, I may be rough around the edges, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate a little magic!

We learn a few things from these:

Jousting is popular in Faerghus. Makes sense for a knight-based nation. 

Sylvain seemingly wants to impress people by diving in harm’s way. But based on his general attitude, I think he really actually wants to just protect people and is pretending it’s all about the ladies. 

Sylvain wants to learn magic, both faith and reason. 

He also does not liked to be consoled- he wants critique to improve himself. 

Critique

Part I & Part II: I'll have to do better next time.

Console

Part I & Part II: OK. You can stop it.

Classroom- Questions and Answers

Sylvain has two questions he can ask in the classroom: 

This is from the academy phase, and we can see that Sylvain prefers it if you tell him to basically play hard to get. There are some interesting things regarding Ingrid’s dislike here, but this is about Sylvain... and apparently, he doesn’t want to change and doesn’t like it if you tell him to clean up his act. (Ingrid likes it, though). 

This one is from part two. Of course, it pertains to the war, and how depressing it is, and wants something to do to feel a bit better. Funnily enough, the other infamous nobles Ferdinand and Lorenz join him for this one! We can see they all have different tastes, but Sylvain is not interested in a cup of tea, but would rather ask out a girl. He’s not against talking a walk though, but no one seems to actually like it either. 

There are other questions that Sylvain joins in on, but I will add those when I eventually get to them. For now, I will just start with these two and update later. 

Group Tasks

Similar to the dining dialogue, Sylvain only has quotes with Dimitri and Ingrid, and not Felix despite having an ending with him. That said, Sylvain has more dialogue with Ingrid than Dimitri, so we will start with Dimitri first:

Stable Duty & Sky Watch

Support C

Sylvain: So, Your Highness, you're gonna keep the scolding to a minimum, yeah?

Dimitri: Why are you assuming you will be scolded? All you need to do is take things seriously.

Support B

Dimitri: Hey, Sylvain. I would like your help for today's work.

Sylvain: Heh, so you've finally learned you can't do everything yourself?

Results

Support C - Good

Sylvain: Professor... It's... It's finally over...

Dimitri: You are quick to tire out, Sylvain. You should consider building your stamina.

Support C - Perfect

Dimitri: Professor, the work is now complete. Sylvain did his job as well.

Sylvain: Was getting yelled at my job? Because, yeah. I did that.

Support B - Good

Sylvain: The result was fine... Though I thought we could have aimed even higher.

Dimitri: Agreed. Let's come up with a better plan next time.

Support B - Perfect

Sylvain: Professor, don't you think we did pretty well? His Highness here did most of it.

Dimitri: No, it was not all my doing. We made it thanks to your help, Sylvain.

These occur only when you pair them for stable duty and sky watch, which would be both activities the pair would find common interests in due to their personal budding talents and canon classes. We can see that Dimitri wants Sylvain to take things seriously, and Sylvain takes a more playful approach. Sylvain will also comment on Dimitri learning to not shoulder everything on his own, calling back a bit to Sylvain’s concern over Dimitri not being able to relax. 

Sylvain seems to be annoyed early on at Dimitri’s constant scolding, but this changes when their support improves, the two of them praising each other and hoping to improve together. 

Now for Ingrid:

Stable Duty & Sky Watch

Support C

Sylvain: Ugh, I'm with Ingrid? I'm not gonna get away with anything.

Ingrid: Stop messing around and get moving. You don't work, you don't eat.

Support B

Sylvain: Hey, Ingrid, this kind of work is definitely your thing, and I've got some urgent business, so...

Ingrid: I can't finish this all alone. Try to be helpful sometimes, Sylvain.

Support A

Sylvain: Me and Ingrid? Hm, I guess I'll get to work.

Ingrid: Well now, a rare and welcome proclamation. You're a real sight to behold when you try to be.

Weeding

Sylvain: Weeds have it tough. They sprout then get ripped right out of the ground. I'll do my best to be gentle.

Ingrid: Are you seriously trying to seduce a weed? Unbelievable.

Sylvain: What? No! Come on. I was just talking to myself.

Clearing Rubble

Sylvain: If I had to clear this out by myself, I think even I would get depressed...

Ingrid: Fine, fine, I'm not going to leave it all for you.

Sylvain: Let's do it quick though...before I change my mind. I'll grab the heavy-looking chunks. You get the rest.

Results

Support C - Good

Ingrid: Ah, seems we've finally finished.

Sylvain: That's it! I'm done! No more work for me, especially not with her...not in a million years.

Support C - Perfect

Sylvain: Hey, we did pretty well. All because I really went for it, of course.

Ingrid: You're a glib one, aren't you, Sylvain? I did the bulk of the work here, you know...

Support B - Good

Sylvain: I wouldn't call it a rousing success, but it went OK, all things considered. Right?

Ingrid: Well, it went OK once I rolled up my sleeves and helped you.

Support B - Perfect

Sylvain: Heh... How's that, Professor? If ya ask me, I think we did pretty well.

Ingrid: Yes, Sylvain put his back into it for once. Next thing we know, pigs will be taking to the air.

Support A - Good

Sylvain: I don't want to complain since we did OK and all, but that could have gone a lot better.

Ingrid: I think so too... Next time, I'll try even harder.

Support A - Perfect

Ingrid: Professor, here's the report. Perfect, don't you think?

Sylvain: Ingrid and I go way back. If we couldn't manage to cooperate, then what would that say about us?

Sylvain and Ingrid have dialogue no matter what they do. We can see, especially in the stable and sky watch, that at first they don’t really get along. Sylvain is tired of Ingrid’s pestering and Ingrid is tired of Sylvain being lazy. But as their support goes up, we see that they get along better. Ingrid starts praising Sylvain, and Sylvain starts putting more effort in.

Sylvain also seems to be a bit melancholy about the weeds, noting that they start to take life before someone takes takes it away from them. 

Finally, just some fun default stuff. 

Uses keigo when speaking to

Byleth, Edelgard, Dimitri, Seteth, Hanneman, Manuela, Gilbert, Alois, Catherine, Shamir, Jeralt, Rhea, Jeritza, Anna

Spoken to with keigo by

Bernadetta, Dorothea, Petra, Ashe, Ignatz, Lysithea, Marianne, Flayn, Constance

“Keigo” is polite speech, used when addressing people who are in a station in life above you, whether in title or simply out of respect. For instance, he uses keigo for those who are older than him and teachers, like Manuela and Hanneman, and for those who are in higher stations, like Dimitri or Edelgard. 

Those who speak keigo to him consider him of higher status, or someone worthy of respect. Looking at this list, I would say status. 

Tea Party- Favorite Tea

The Tea Party is a pretty big section, so I won’t cover everything but I’ll try to touch on what seems important. Feel free to let me know if you notice more! 

Anyways, Sylvain seems to have a pension for black teas, although not all black teas listed in the game. He prefers Bergamot Tea (commonly known as Earl Grey) which is popular among nobles (he shares this like with Edelgard, Lorenz, Hanneman, Constance, and Anna, most of whom are nobles, and in particular are nobles with particular taste) and Seiros Tea, another black tea that is actually from south Almyra, interestingly enough! He shares this like with Ferdinand, Lorenz, Ignatz, Yuri, and Anna. Both of these teas have a three star rarity- not the cheapest tea in the list, but not terribly rare either. 

He will note that the tea is expensive if you give him an expensive tea, and perhaps seems a bit uncomfortable with you going out of your way.

This tea must have been expensive. I'm sorry if I made you go out of your way.

Tea Party- Talk

Sylvain has a number of quotes from talking, although most of them aren’t too terribly interesting. However, some have some great insight: 

Is something wrong with my face? A bruise on my cheek? Heh... Nah, Professor. Everything's fine.

Everyone has their own reason to fight. At least I'm honest about mine.

Opera, art, literature, I love 'em. They always give you something to talk about.

Sometimes, I'm surprised how warm the monastery is. I wish my parents' home was like this.

Sylvain is an interesting guy because in some ways, he’s not honest and in others, he is. For instance, he insists that you do not worry about his injury. Don’t worry about him. He’s not being honest about any pain he has- this includes his distastes for a lot of women chasing him despite his philandering. However, he is honest in others in his world views. He’s a lot like Dimitri when it comes to trying to see the other side, as seen in “everyone has their own reason to fight”. This is displayed in his other quotes throughout the game too, although we won’t be touching on those. 

As as per the gift of art he likes, we can see here that he’s actually very much into culture and art. He likes them, and likes to talk about them. 

And finally, some insight into his family. Sylvain’s relationship with his father is complex (as per the Blue Lion tradition) and here we can see that he doesn’t view his family home as warm- both perhaps literally in that it’s a cold climate, and figuratively. 

I won’t be going over the like options because there are too many, but I will take note of a few options that make him blush:

Working together...

The opera...

Cute monks...

Some insight things into Sylvain. Obviously, as he likes the opera, the topic of it will be among his favorite. Sylvain likes people working together (although he himself is a bit of a loner, he wants people to work together and talk things through like Dimitri does) and finally, the cute monks... 

I’m taking special note of that because in English, traditionally monks are male. However, the game seems to use monks for both men and women (monks in Greek can be used for both), and the Japanese word used instead is 修道士. Someone with superior Japanese can correct me, but it would seem that this is a masculine word, used for men, especially when using the kanji  士, which means “gentlemen” or “samurai”. 

However, as stated before, the game uses monk for both men and women. I checked the files and even the female monks use  修道士. So, while people claim this is proof he is bi, I would not call it a strong indicator personally (At this time I still think he has a thing for Felix, don’t get me wrong). 

Advice Box

Part I

I wonder if I'll ever find a partner who understands I don't mean any harm when I flirt with others. Does someone like that really exist?

You're bound to meet someone open-minded someday.

That's a dream that will never come true.

Have you considered giving up on flirting?

I'm hesitant to invite a girl to my room in the middle of the night with You Know Who living right next door. I'm terrified of the scolding I'd get the next day.

Maybe I'll rethink the room assignments.

It makes sense that she would be angry with you.

Perhaps it's time you and I discussed your behavior.

Part II

I'm weary from this ceaseless fighting. I wonder if I'll ever meet a kind, beautiful young lady who can cure my hardened heart.

You will one day. I'm sure of it.

Save the dreams for when you're sleeping.

A woman like that wouldn't go for you.

All we do is battle. The fighting never stops, and it's turning everyone's disposition dour. Even the ladies! We should throw a banquet to lift everyone's spirit.

Good idea. I'll see what I can do.

It's too soon to let down our guard.

How selfless of you.

Part I notes aren’t too interesting, other than that Sylvain is worried about Dimitri (his neighbor in dorms) hearing his rendezvous with the ladies and getting a scolding. 

Part II is more interesting. Sylvain’s second note is about lifting up everyone’s spirits regarding the war, and that throwing a banquet might help make everyone feel better. He prefers if Byleth agrees and will start to make arrangements, rather than getting praise for his selflessness. 

And for now, that’s all! I will update as I go, but for now I hope you enjoyed this!

Suggestions and new info welcome. 

#Sylvain data mining #data mining #3H data mining

[withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus]

Let’s talk about quarantine streams and smartass fans

This might piss off some people, but I’ve had it so here we go...these past 2 months have been hard for pretty much all of us and the fact some visual kei artists chose to not leave us alone during this time means a lot. Several of them did their part in their own way and we should all be thankful BUT still, some fans of some bands seem to find it soooo fuckin hard to not throw poison, even during a time like this, and instead of just being happy about their bands being there for them, compare bands to theirs and belittle the effort of everyone else. So I felt like sharing what I noticed from other bands to enlighten some narrowminded fans and also to clear some things up. I am not going to cut this, this will be a long-ass post so you’ve been warned.

So let’s start with the two of the biggest names in the industry shall we?

The Gazette: Many of the Gazette’s fans are disappointed because the band hasn’t been around during this whole time, and many Dir en Grey fans feel like it’s the perfect time to post things like “Where’s your band now?“ or “Gazette who?“. For your information, Reita, Kai and Aoi have been around too, just not as much as other band members. They check on us. And anyway the other day that Reita tried to share an opinion on people sending hate to artists and generally other people, many fans attacked him. He didn’t tell you not to tell your opinion, people, he just said it’s good to filter your fuckin tongue before talking. Did anyone of you think, even for just one second, that he said that because of what’s going around about them right now? And at the end of the day none of the artists who even did spend sometime with us owed us this. Yes we support them, we buy their stuff etc etc, but the only thing artists owe us back for that support is more music and art, not spending their free time with us, nor being our personal psychologists. So yes, please and I mean that, by all means show your gratitude to those who did that these days, but don’t attack bands who didn’t. And I don’t mean JUST the Gazette. Many more bands didn’t do the whole free lives & broadcast thingy, but since they are a big name, they are getting named the most. About Ruki now. I see people saying things like, oh Ruki is hibernating etc, when many fans were yearning for a new album. Personally I wouldn’t be surprised if when the whole quarantine is over, the Gazette will announce a new album. How do you know he is just staying inside doing nth? How do you know he is not caring for his own people or even working on new stuff around the very subject of the virus? I won’t speak about Uruha cause Uruha isn’t a fan of social media in general.

Dir en Grey: Dir en Grey is one of the bands that actually did a lot to stay by the side of their fans from early on during the quarantine, sth which filled their fans with joy. So I don’t understand why their fans then felt the need to start spreading hate to other bands, I really don’t. Dir en Grey were also one of the first bands that did a free live and in a huge arena like it was a full-scale show. I found that really remarkable and I was like whoa this is so amazing of them. But seeing their fans say things like “oh no other band does that, bitches“ etc, made me not care so much and overshadowed their kindness with hate and fans who really don’t deserve all that, in my opinion. I am not saying all fans are like that, in any way, I follow so many amazing Dir en Grey fans who are genuinely exhilarated about what they did and who just post about their happiness without hating on others, but yeah it’s really such a big shame to see the dark side of their fandom. Every fandom has a dark side but during this quarantine I got to see Dir en Grey’s one, as I am only familiar with the fandoms I myself am in. So for those bitter Dir en Grey fans I got one thing to say: not every band has their money to make such a show in such a big arena and hundreds more vkei artist actually stayed by their fans side during the whole quarantine. Shocking I know.

And now that’s out of the way, let’s talk about bands that were there too from home:

Kaya: Since the beginning of quarantine, Kaya has been online all the time, interacting with fans, doing various broadcasts, dolled up or casual, and telling everyone we are fighting this together and that he will be on our side no matter what. He’s been showering fans with love, he uploaded videoclips that hadn’t been uploaded so far on his youtube and some songs live. He is going through all kinds of things from fanarts to comments about anything and does so many broadcasts that I have lost count.

REIGN: Even though the band is disbanding at the end of May, during the whole quarantine, all four members have been twitcasting from time to time, with Ikuma being the overdoer as he streamed from 3-4 hours every few days, discussing about various subjects with fans. Even when they weren’t twitcasting, all REIGN members were on twitter, posting and being there for their fans. They also joined a 3-man live with Grimoire and Sick2′s side project at the beginning of the quarantine which they broadcasted for free. The live house wasn’t very big but it was good enough for the three bands performing and they also answered comments until the people working at the live house told them it was time to close for the night

D: D were more active for their paying fandom, but they sure didn’t leave those not belonging in their vip list hanging. They were on twitter the whole time, sharing videos of themselves playing music and even joining tag games that spread among vkei artists during the quarantine to pass their time, urging everyone to stay inside and stay safe. Also, Asagi took an active part in providing for charity during such times. Before the pandemic was announced it had already been decided D were working on a charity single that would send some of the earnings to Australia for the damage of the forest fires last year and, after this was done, he focused on providing money for live houses who were threatened to close due to lack of activity through a single that was written for everyone to know they are not alone. In case you haven’t heard, many live houses hosting vkei shows have been closing the last few years, making it harder for bands to find sometime during each week to perform somewhere. Once live houses are done, so will visual kei artists be, unless they of course turn to online performances. So Asagi focused on providing for the future of the live scene, which was very smart move at the moment and if I remember well some money went to providing people with more masks too. There is a new charity streaming happening at the moment for children, btw.

GLAY: GLAY donated 10 million yen and 5000 masks to medical institutions for COVID-19 relief. Need I say more? GLAY have also been active on their social media for their fans’ sake. I don’t know any more details, cause I don’t follow them that much, but they did things not only for their fans but also for their country.

Kamijo: Kamijo has also being active on social media but moreso lately, starting his own broadcasts to interact with fans. Until that point it seemed that he was working on various things and organizing them to have the form they have now. Kamijo also changed the lyrics of the lead song of his latest single Persona Grata so that the enemy mentioned in it is more of an invisible one instead of a story-focused one like he usually does. According to him, he did that so that the song can work as a hope provider against our current invisible enemy, the virus. He said he wanted to lift people’s spirits and use this song to spread hope, so he made that little change and let me tell you, it is an amazing and powerful ballad. Also, since some if not all shippings have been ceased at the moment, Kamijo uploaded the whole single on his youtube channel for free so that everyone can listen to it and hopefully find some strength to keep believing and maybe get lost in it and forget about the general chaos a little.

Gackt: No, I don’t want to hear it. If you are his haters and haven’t even tried to read or experience what he does for his fans, don’t bother coming for me. Gackt has already been trying to share funny moments with his fans and he hopes he does make it with that, through his instagram and youtube so I wasn’t surprised he kept doing that during quarantine. Last week, he uploaded all his live shows on youtube so that his fans can watch them during quarantine if they wish. He couldn’t provide us with a show during such days so he did give us every show he has done so far for free and so that we could enjoy a show from home. He also kept doing workouts to show us, encouraging us to stay inside and be hopeful and mindful of the people around us. He also started some accent lessons in English for Japanese fans, but I guess even that would be cringy to some of you so you will pass it like that. He’s been trying to spread laughter to his fans and I really appreciate that. And for the hate he got even for that, well, if you don’t like his humor, focus on your favorites and leave him and his fans be. :)

Sui/David: Sui had a performance arranged for Paris around this time but due to the pandemic, he couldn’t make it. He had even fundraised about it so he was really saddened he couldn’t make it. To make up for it, though, he went to a studio with just another person and performed for both his Paris and other fans live with a single phone recording. The studio was really small and, some of you might think oh well big deal, it was just one person, but the place was stuffed with furniture and equipment and on top of that, Sui isn’t very tiny, he is like 1,82 cm so, it was hard for him to move around. But yeah he still tried, he came all dressed up in his costume and even though there were no special effects, good lighting nor a band with him, he did his best to entertain his fans and I respect that. And I also had a good time. ^^ He had prepared enough songs only for 30 minutes that are given for free from twitcast as, obviously he didn’t expect many people to show up nor send him coins (points on twitcast to prolong broadcast) so after that, he cheerfully accepted to keep this going for 30 more minutes, singing a song one more time, then talking with us and closing his show with a Malice Mizer cover of Ma Chérie.

BPR bands: Well all BPR bands have taken over youtube the last one year, but even more so now, the bands kept posting videos to entertain the fans. They also did broadcasts in which they talked with other members online and also interacted with fans. I only follow Kiryu on twitter so I can’t speak for everyone but they sure continued being active on twitter on days like these and joke around to spread some laughs.

Alice Nine: Another band that has been online the whole time these days and broadcasting often. Tora has been taking his gaming channel very seriously these days and yes he has an option to tip him if you want, in fact several vkei artists do that because, like I said, not everyone has the money to survive without working these days, especially artists who can’t really sell their art at the moment, but his youtube lives are free, entertaining and a good company if you are feeling alone. He posts a new video every day or every two days, if sth comes up. Hiroto already had a radio show so I think he keeps going there, I haven’t checked, I’ve only seen his twitcasts but yes all the members have been twitcasting, for vip fans and not and recently they had a broadcast all together from home.

Other artists who also broadcasted a lot and/or did live shows are: RAZOR, Diaura, DOG inThePWO, Mana (Kozi and Yu~ki were more active in tweets not broadcasts), Zamb, Ryutaro (also mostly in tweets), Byo, Jin & Rui Takeru/Sleepyhead, Agato/Izumi (full father mode on his tweets ^^’), Versailles members and Vistlip, SHiSHi, Neth Priere Cain, i.D.A, Satoshi, etc etc.

Now be civil and nice and think before you speak. Enjoy your shows and broadcasts, be grateful and stop throwing poison.

#i am so done #the last 3 days have brought me to my limit with this bullshit #why are so many people so immature dammit #can't you just enjoy things without being a bitch about what others do #especially if you don't fuckin know what others do

[mytwitterisdogtoast1]

Yugi’s decks and some other odd stuff that just makes sense.

This is a weird double kind of post where I focus on many things because of a little project I’ve been working on. So as anyone who has ever grown up and has been into Yu-Gi-Oh knows you just can’t not like the anime. From the ridiculous duels and cards to the ridiculous hair on every single character and I’m not talking about the newer shows so much as just the original show because that’s probably the “best” one to most people (partial to GX myself even though I know it’s not the best and Konami kinda messed up on it at the end of the series in USA). See if you watch the show a simple easy thing that anyone who gets it would like would be to get the decks of a character. Heck even if it was Weevil people would be a little excited but not as excited as if they got one of the main characters. Which was great because even though it’s old news I was very excited to buy the legendary decks for Yugi. See that is an amazing product idea that can bring in everyone who likes Yu-Gi-Oh. You bring in the casuals by giving them his decks, you bring in the collectors for cards that don’t exist yet here in the west or even those who have missed out on older cards, and you bring in the more serious crowd for cards that are in archetypes that might be harder to find maybe (probably not because the game has evolved to such a degree that even mirror force isn’t good anymore.) but still 2/3 ain’t bad. Let’s be honest though. This is Konami so they’re gonna find a way to fuck it up and I’m a decent guy so I usually try to have some faith in things. Even things like Konami who ruin most of their IPs in general but hey, I keep that faith. This was a simple thing to do but in the end they messed it up with really easy to do things. Now let’s just be really honest about this. if this product interested you. You would buy it if it hit the sweet spot of cost = product. I know I would and I’m sure many others would as well. Let’s assume Konami does its best in that it not only releases every single card Yugi has ever used before but also makes each card that doesn’t exist, to exist. They would have to make a handful of cards yes, but people would probably go and buy that product cause every deck he’s run is in it in their entirety. We can assume they would use his actual deck lists and make his actual decks. Yeah, his decks are not good but let’s face it fan, cosplayers, kids, adults and everyone and their grandma would buy this product. Nostalgia is a huge thing nowadays and even if we can’t play it in a tournament and hope to win we could just roll up, throw down a fiver and just play that sweet sweet celtic guardian. Now let’s be a little more realistic. Let’s assume we take the middle road which is absolutely the best idea. Heck we’ll take both sides of that road and give two middle road ideas that are the best idea. Make his actual decks and only use cards printed while printing about 5 cards that haven’t been made. That electromagnetic turtle is pretty dope not gonna lie. Point is even then we would still get a 4 card deck from each main part of the journey. 120 cards, 5 promos, the art cards for duelist kingdom, the god cards (playable or not even) would not set anyone back hard in printing since they’re all stuff already made in real life and would even bring cards like torike and horn imp into the west which haven’t even come here. Heck don’t even make decks. Throw in every card from every single season he has ever used. We don’t need to have 2 giant soldier of stones. (yes he uses two at one point) It would however be nice if we just got the cards the way he has them in looks and what he has. Call it Yugis legendary collection and it is the same exact thing. The worst thing you could do is just make his deck and just add in random shit like 3 dark magician girls. Which is what they did. Like This is a simple thing to make man how could you mess up by adding cards he didn’t use in decks when they didn’t exist then? Even detonate which is a card Kaiba uses. Look man it’s not the biggest of deals but the fact that the next set was stuff “based on their main cards” and Yugi had exodia? HE USED IT IN ONE DUEL. Make a dark magician deck. Sure it would reprint some of the same stuff but lets face it. THAT’S WHAT PEOPLE WOULD WANT. We don’t want something LIKE it. We want that thing.  Why does this matter? Honestly besides how sad the product was it really made me want the thing I didn’t get and it is near impossible ( at least I assume) to get torike and horn imp in the west when I believe it has had one printing in the east only and the only way to buy the cards are to go buy Orica stuff. Which in their own way is nice too. Support artists. So I took it upon myself to make those exact decks and to in general just make it a small side project in my life. Duelist kingdom deck was mostly easy to do and I am missing just 3 cards so I can buy 2 of them no problem and the others are torike and horn imp. Cards we never got (fuck you Konami). That’s when I started to see the other seasons which are not cannon in comics but are technically cannon in the show. Filler is a very iffy thing to use but I’m super casual and actually like filler in things I like. Hell DBZ has some of the better filler in the side stuff it puts in because it never really changes much. However sometimes you can have too much filler or filler that changes the series totally (stares at bleach, Naruto, and one piece. You all know what you did).  Now why does this also matter? Because it raises a ton of questions about the series in general when you look at a characters decks. Did you know that as iconic as Gaia the fierce knight is he doesn’t show up past duelist kingdom? Even in the manga he only has it in duelist kingdom. This raises a ton of questions. Like Gaia the dragon champion is really good in the anime. Because let’s face it. If you are going to use chimera in your duels than why not have Gaia in there as well to make a stronger monster? It’s one of his boss monsters. I mean he still uses curse of dragon in every deck except waking the dragons which again I know it’s not fully cannon but that shouldn’t stop them from using him. Unless there was a decent enough reason. I think that reason is you don’t need the monster itself in duelist kingdom to make the fusion. Which I can actually make an argument for. Yugi has 2 monsters in his deck. First is Black skull dragon and Dragon master knight. I know one is filler but it would fit the same argument regardless because even if we take from the anime it might be a little different in the manga and comic for battle city but that is indeed cannon. So the point I’m making is it’s a little strange Yugi would have either of those mosnters in his deck. He never knew he was going to work with Joey or Kaiba ever so why would he just have them? Trade doesn’t really work that way in the show cause we never see it and I know that dude isn’t carrying around cards because let’s face it. He didn’t bring anything but his cards and a glove. He didn’t have replacement cards. Which makes you wonder where the time wizard was from when he gave it to joey. He isn’t carrying extra cards cause the world doesn’t have packs the same way and cards would be more diverse or shittier and packs are like 5 cards per pack. So having such a rare and powerful card like that and it just “being around” makes 0 sense. Which makes you believe that it came from his deck. So time wizard was an original card. We have to remember that the reason he never played it is he never drew it in his duels and then gave it to Joey. Which makes the most sense. So if we go by that logic it would be understandable that since time wizard doesn’t fuse into baby dragon that you don’t even need thousand dragon in the extra deck. That also means dark sage isn’t even in Yugis deck because if it was meant to pair with time wizard he’d have taken it out or he just simply never ran into it or was a jerk and threw it in to counter Joey. So by that logic the reason Gaia never made a return is he never had the fusion in the first place. This makes me assume many things about the decks written are kind of misleading. Firstly the fact that Yugi has the same deck kind of but changes it every season. It makes 0 sense that he would in a world where cards are not a common supply even though it is the most common thing in his world to have that he would just always remake his deck mostly alike and then in general change 10 cards out only to put them back in to only take them out again. So when mysical elf is in his deck in virtual world but he doesn’t put 2 giant soldiers of stone in makes me question if he actually even doesn’t have mystical elf in his deck normally but sure as heck has feral imp. I came to the conclusion that in every season Yugi is just running the same deck with no differences. If there are differences it would be he added them in later on because he got the card and the only reason we never see it is that the man has over 80 cards in his deck. No it’s not 40 no matter how many times he says it because anime rules. It makes even less sense to change the deck not just for every season but every duel that he would have life shaver in against Kaiba only and then never play it in a duel ever again or something along those lines. Why does this matter? If I am going to make his decks I want to be as “accurate” as possible and am going to make his decks but it’s not like anyone wants to just make 7 decks for the dude. Especially when you take the Pharaoh into account as well. And who even wants to actually just make a Yugi themed deck? It’s not the same as having his decks themselves. It is much cooler in the end to actually have his deck. Even if it is 4000 cards large.

#yugioh #yami yugi #yugi moto #konami #legendary decks #deck #atem