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#this sounds like a sincere emotional post
lyxchen · 3 months
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Sorry, had to take a 5 day break from my Doctor Who hyperfixation because it got too strong especially after going to Megacon and I got a little overwhelmed, as one does with hyperfixations, but now I am ready to fully jump in again <3
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One of my favorite Ishin-induced headcanons is that Mine gets into writing poetry post-Y3 (which he has definitely survived and will always survive). To cope. Have a hobby. You know. He makes weird abstract paintings too but those are unrelated ravings of mine
OH LOVE artistic mine can be something so special and important......
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straykats · 2 years
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anyways i just find it very soft and nice that i have people (hi mutuals) who share more than one of my interests and are rather active about them..? as in, they'll occasioanlmy post about x y z or reach out when i post about x y z or like they'll incorporate one into the other?? like. im so used to just having like.. oh this is the friend who i can talk to about anime, this friend about kpop, this ine about books.. and now its like.. i could put all my mutuals names in a hat and draw one out and i could talk about a multitude of things with them and its so weird because i.. i dont know you guys but i can talk to you about so much more on top of those interests as well? and i just :(
sorry the tags are a little bit of a love letter but like not poetic or romantic and super super ramble-y
#like how actively do i talk to my mutuals??? definitely not as much as most people do (sorry)#but everytime i do i just.#not to sound sappy and cringey or whatever but i just. feel so happy and loved???#but at the same time its a little bittersweet because like. i dont knoe you guys and i probably never will and maybe irl we would clash a#bit or we wouldnt really... feel comfortable with eachother etcetc#but i guess thats the beauty (and admittedly danger) of online friendships?#like. i just. sad sounds.#and i just appreciate all my online friends/mutuals so much and i use them interchangeably but i know#there are mutuals i dont talk to ever or ive barely talked to or i dont talk to anymore#but like idk its like.#its like the whole 'everyone you meet eill impact you in some way' thing#and i havent /met/ met you guys but i love you all the same#and im sorry if my use of 'love' is a bit !!! but i am feeling emotions#and i know ive diverted from the original post but sigh i#i just truly sincerely wish that five days from now#five weeks or months or years or even fifty years from now#youre all happy and content and livijg ur best life in a rocking chair or whatever idk maybe 50 years eas too much HAHA but my point#still stands - i hope you all are happy and loved by those you love#and i just. thank you so much for allowing me this soft and safe space#even if i can be a little annoying at times hehe sorry but like. yknow i just. QHHHH#anyways i do hope my mutuals see this post/the tags HAHAHA#should have just made a whole text post instead of ramble in the tags#and idek if ehat uve said makes sense#but i know i defninitely have not conveyed everything so uh :(#kat loves u all so much#kat talks#okay just read the tags and i did not express myself well at all#i just appreciate you guys so much and am so so so so thankful for every interaction we've had#and im so.. honoured? amazed? lucky? to have met you guys and know you exist ???#not to sound dramatic but thank you for baring the knowledge of my existence
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kumawaii · 3 months
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THE LICKBACK | XMH
cw - cheating, toxic behavior, sending post-sex nudes, riding, unprotected sex, creampie
– for my 🍰 anon
∘₊✧─── 𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓸𝓻𝓼 𝓭𝓸 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽 ───✧₊∘
bestie!minghao is the most beautiful person you’ve ever met, both inside and out. he’s so attentive and thoughtful. any time you’re around him you feel that you’re slowly being swept off your feet. his natural charisma and charm are so alluring that you can’t believe anyone could hate him. you can’t believe that your boyfriend does. like a lot.
you’re not sure when this animosity between your two favorite boys manifested, but it’s there and it’s not going away any time soon. bestie!minghao tries to act like he’s above it all, but you know him. there’s no way he can turn the other cheek when your boyfriend is so open about hating him.
the feud isn’t aggressive or blatant — at least not around you. there’s a lot of subtle digs and glares exchanged when you’re not looking, but from what your other friends tells you it’s a lot worse when you’re not there. you’re not even really sure why they don’t like each other. any time you ask either of them, they brush it off or change the subject entirely.
it’s futile, but you try to get them to like each other. forcing them to hang out doesn’t work at all. the two barely even acknowledge each other and somehow become even more distant. your boyfriend isn’t outright rude, but he does act like bestie!minghao doesn’t exist whenever you bring him around. this tiresome routine goes on until you finally get sick and tired of it. when you confront your boyfriend about it, you don’t expect him to snap at you.
“who gives a fuck if i don’t like your little friend?” his tone is mean and aggressive.
you blink slowly, trying not to get emotional at the tone he’s using with you. “i just want you guys to get along…”
your boyfriend lets out a frustrated noise. he’s pinching the bridge of his nose and running a tense hand through his hair. his gaze become accusatory in a way, and you can’t explain why you suddenly feel like you’ve done something wrong.
“we’re not going to. as long as he wants to fuck you, i can’t be friends with him.”
you’re left speechless. never once had you considered that your best friend would think of you that way. years of platonic friendship has never led you to believe otherwise. apparently, your boyfriend doesn’t like your silence because in the next second he scoffs before he storms out of your apartment.
that night you keep replaying his harsh words until you can’t take it anymore. you rashly go over to bestie!minghao’s house to talk to him about what your boyfriend had said. like always, your friend is happy to see you in spite of you not letting him know you were coming over. he welcomes you into his home with a pretty smile that makes your heart jump.
“i have to ask you something.” you say as you follow minghao to his room. “and i need you to tell me the truth.”
“you know i never lie to you.” he says sincerely as he pulls you down on his bed so you can sit beside him.
those words make an unexpected heat pool in your stomach. they heat up your entire body as you shift nervously. “is it true you want to… have sex with me?”
bestie!minghao’s eyes widen. he clears his throat. “why would you think that?”
“i was with—”
“your boyfriend.” minghao cuts you off through clenched teeth, realizing that jealous asshole is the one who caused this. “he told you that?”
“he said it’s why he doesn’t like you.” you sound deflated.
you can see the clench of his jaw and his gaze sharpen. he’s angry, but unlike your heathen of a boyfriend, your best friend doesn’t take it out on you. instead he remains silent until he can calmly answer you.
“i can’t believe he reduced my feelings for you to just wanting to have sex.”
you’re not sure what consumes you, but the way your heart is bursting with affection can’t be ignored. it’s how you end up on top of bestie!minghao, bouncing on his big cock. his pretty hands are roaming every inch of your body, caressing your soft skin with tenderness that makes your cunt drip with heaps of arousal. you toss your head back with a loud moan as his dick slams deep into you.
“so fucking pretty.” minghao groans as he grabs your hips and starts to thrust up into you. “my pretty little angel.”
you move your hips desperately, grinding your filthy cunt all over his dick. with your head tossed back, you moan his name desperately. pleasure consumes your entire body as his pulsing tip brushes against your cervix. you’ve never been so close to cumming this quickly, and bestie!minghao’s heated gaze is only pushing you closer to that ecstasy.
“god, you’re perfect.” minghao moans as he sits up to mouth and lick at your bouncing tits. “and now you’re all mine.”
he abruptly flips you on your back, holding your legs open as he starts to pound into you. the way his cock drags against your wet walls is dizzying, and you can feel how he stretches you open with every rough snap of his hips. it only takes him pressing a sweet kiss to your lips for you to fall apart.
seeing you cum is the hottest thing bestie!minghao has ever seen. he fucks you through it, whispering endless praises against your skin. his words are sweet, murmuring about how much he loves you. it’s not long before he cums, too. he does it with a loud groan of your name. minghao fucks it deeper into you until you both can’t take anymore.
“your pussy looks so pretty like this.” minghao sighs as he reaches for his phone. “let me take a picture?”
you nod with a blissful sigh, spreading your legs for him. bestieminghao grins like a cheshire cat. he uses his fingers to spread your soiled lips apart as he angles the camera just right. the picture is perfect and filthy.
your boyfriend can only stare with a clenched jaw when he receives the picture. he recognizes the pretty little hand on the smooth thigh. the ring on the index finger is the one bestie!minghao had gotten you for your birthday. you had always preferred that one to the one he got you.
and as he throws his phone against the wall, he realizes that it wasn’t only the ring you preferred. you’ve always preferred your best friend.
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kpop · 27 days
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K-Pop Spotlight: DAY6
Come one, come all to a K-Pop Spotlight that is sure to dazzle and delight ’til the final curtain. This week, all eyes are on DAY6 following the release of their eighth mini-album, Fourever, and brand new title track, "Welcome to the Show." We caught up with the band to discuss their goals as they approach their 10th anniversary and their ever-growing connection to their fans through their music. Check out our full interview below!
Tracks like “Welcome to the Show,” “The Power of Love,” and “Get The Hell Out” seem to have very different themes. Can you tell us a little about how these songs relate to each other and what aspects make this album cohesive?
SUNGJIN: As we pursue the idea of being a 'band that sings every moment,' it seems like our albums, including the recent one, prioritize diversity in songs and situations rather than unity. Consequently, our albums contain various genres and narratives. However, there seems to be a commonality in most songs, depicting situations that everyone has either gone through or might experience.
Young K: First and foremost, I would say this album is a compilation of the best songs we could create. There's definitely a theme of love running through it. "Welcome to the Show," "The Power of Love," and "Get The Hell Out" all talk about the concept of love.
What goes into creating titles for DAY6 songs and albums, especially those that don’t come directly from your lyrics? Do you find it hard to condense the intentions and themes of a song into a title?
Young K: While there have been cases like that, all the songs on this album came from the lyrics. Sometimes, when choosing a title, we select the one that best describes the song—other times, we choose to give it a twist or make it more intriguing.
WONPIL: Naming songs involves a lot of deliberation. We often contemplate which title will catch the eye and capture the song's essence. Usually, we try to take it from a verse in the chorus. This can be a challenging part of the songwriting process.
Is there a creative project you’ve always wanted to work on but haven’t gotten the chance/found the time?
SUNGJIN: I'm very curious, and have a principle of "trying to experience as much as possible." There are so many things I want to try musically and personally, especially among the things I know but haven't tried yet.
DOWOON: I hope we can have a song that we can collaborate on with My Day, like a choir.
What does your work/studio setup look like? Where do you feel the most creatively inspired?
DOWOON: We try to keep the studio as tidy as possible and make it comfortable for practice sessions.
WONPIL: When working on songs, we talk a lot. We get inspiration from little conversations, joking around, sharing stories, and listening to music from various eras regardless of genre while giving opinions. We also try to build emotional connections with the songs. There’s a lot of communication going on. The songwriting process takes place in the studio of our long-time collaborator, composer Hong Jisang, with whom we've been working together since our debut.
How do you want to evolve as a musician/producer?
Young K: I want to be eagerly anticipated and awaited as an artist. Without those who wait for us, we wouldn't release or even step onto the stage. So I’m always thankful for My Day.
WONPIL: My biggest goal is to make good music for My Day and the public, so I think I'll continue to ponder. When working on songs, I pour my sincerity into them. I constantly strive to express this sincerity musically, fully capturing the emotions I want to convey. I hope to create songs that can still be listened to even after 10 or 20 years.
Design your own Tumblr blog: choose an aesthetic, a blog name, and would you be a frequent poster or lurker?
SUNGJIN: I think I’ll use it to catch up on friends' updates. For the blog name, THUMB BLUR sounds good to me. I might end up being a lurker who never posts.
DOWOON: Maybe a blog for plants? I think I'll post it like a diary.
Want more DAY6? Check out their new mini album Fourever and the music video for the title track “Welcome to the Show,” both out now!
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yourlocaljonghoe · 4 months
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Best Friend!Ateez and you sharing a bed - Scenario. || OT8.
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Summary: Unexpectedly, you're forced to share a bed with your best friend. What will happen when you realize there's so much more than friendship between you?
Pairing: OT8!Ateez (individually) x Reader
Genre: Fluff, Suggestive (18+, mdni!!)
Wordcount: 7.1k
Warnings: Dirty thoughts, kissing, alcohol consumption, allusion to sex (yet nothing too explicitly), grinding against each other, mentions of erections and feeling horny
A/N: Hello, I'm back with my first ot8 post! This was requested by @foxinnie8, I really hope you like this <33 I struggled a lot finding a scenario for each of our boys, but it ultimately was a good challenge for me and I enjoyed writing it a lot! Big thank you to my little assistant and bestie @yunho-mp3 for helping me and constantly listening to my rambling, ily!! Please like, comment and reblog and if you want more scenarios go ahead and request! Divider credits to @firefly-graphics!
Taglist: @yunho-mp3, @kyukyustar, @hwapetals, @foxinnie8, @preciouswoozi
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Park Seonghwa 
With a scream caught in your throat and sweat on your brow,you bolted upright in the bed after another terrifying nightmare. As your heart raced and your breathing quickened, you tried to shake off the remnants of the haunting images that seemed to grip your mind. With trembling hands, you reached for the glass of water on the bedside table and took a long sip, willing yourself to calm down. The dim glow of the moonlight filtering through your curtains illuminated the familiar surroundings of your room, providing some small comfort in the midst of unease. Gradually, as the adrenaline began to dissipate and your body started to relax once more, you determinedly pushed away thoughts of those nightmares. 
Hwa, your heart earned.
Let him sleep, your mind screamed instead.
“Fuck it”, you muttered. You needed your best friend, and you needed him now. 
With a deep breath, you reluctantly swung your legs over the edge of the bed and padded quietly across the cool floorboards to the door. As you reached for the doorknob, your hand hesitated for a moment before you swallowed your pride and turned it slowly. Stepping into the dimly lit hallway, you made your way to your best friend's room, barely making a sound as you navigated through the darkness. When you reached his door, you paused for a moment, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly in an attempt to steady your nerves. Then, with a gentle knock on the door, you whispered his name, still somewhat unwilling to disturb his peaceful slumber but needing his reassuring presence more than anything else at that moment.
And there he laid, the most beautiful man you called your best friend, bare chest barely covered with a blanket, his soft body screaming both comfort and sexiness. As you stood there, unable to think clearly, completely entranced and suddenly very, very aware of how attractive Park Seonghwa really was - not that you didn't know, but goddamn - the man was pulled from his slumber, and he slowly opened his eyes, a mixture of confusion and concern appeared right on his handsome face. As he registered your presence and caught sight of your disheveled appearance, understanding dawned, and he immediately pushed aside the blanket to make room for you. 
“Come here, angel”, he softly whispered, his smile reaching his tired eyes.
Your breath hitched in your throat, and all of a sudden, it was too much. Taking a step back, your back hit the door with a harsh thud, and Seonghwa looked more confused than ever.
“I-i can't. I'm sorry, I don't know why I came here, I-I should go-”
Seonghwa sat up quickly, his expression turning from confusion to concern. "No, wait," he insisted gently, reaching out a hand towards you. "You don't have to go. It's okay, I'm here for you." The sincerity in his voice made your heart ache.
How could you tell him that you weren't ashamed of sharing your emotions with him, but scared of what you wanted to do to him right now, while he stood before you, bare chest on full display, in a dark room, just the two of you alone…
Just minutes ago, you were shaken up by a terrible, frightening nightmare, and now, all you wanted was to get your brains blown out by your shy, pretty roommate.
“H-hwa”, you whispered, yet it sounded more like a desperate whimper, a plea for him to take care of you, to take your mind off those terrible scenes from your dream.
And he understood, his cheeks blushing, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he searched your eyes for any sort of doubt, but you knew he'd found none.
“Y/N, we should-”
“-talk, I know, Hwa. Let's talk tomorrow, please. I need you, and I need you now. T-tomorrow we can talk, sort it all out, but now I just… please take care of me, Seonghwa.”
Just seconds later, you laid on his bed, his figure hovering above you. Both of you were breathing heavily, nervous, yet ready for each other, as far as you could tell from his ominous erection pressing against you.
His fingers flirted with the hem of your sweater. “C-can I touch you?”
His voice was hoarse and nervous, and you felt the same way too, so you took his hand in yours, squeezing it reassuringly. You really, really wanted this.
“Yes, Hwa. Anywhere.”
He moved closer, licking the rim of your ear. “Anywhere? Really?" 
“Really.” 
Twisting your neck, you pulled his mouth to you for a brief, wet kiss, sucking his tongue until his vision turned white around the edges.
You let out a choked sound, and he paused. “Okay?”
“Yes.” Your hips tipped, pressing yourself tighter against his hand. “Please.”
He lifted his head for a moment, raising himself up on his arms enough to make eye contact, and you groaned at the sudden absence of that incredibly talented tongue.
“Everything okay?” His mouth was wet from your kiss, his pupils wide and dark. “If I do something you don’t like, just tell me. Or if you want me to stop-”
“Don't stop, Park Seonghwa”, you moaned, pulling him close to you again,”don't you dare stop tonight. Or ever again.”
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Kim Hongjoong
“So… seems like we'll have to share a bed.”
“Well, looks like we don't have much of a choice, huh?” Hongjoong said with a friendly smile, trying to lighten the mood. “I promise I won't hog the blankets. We can just put some pillows between us, I guess. It's just for one night, it'll be fine.”
You tried to play it cool, tried to appear as calm as he was right now, but the idea of sharing a bed with your friend made your cheeks turn a little pink. "Yeah, no worries," you replied, hoping to sound casual. After all, you two were just friends, right?
If only your stupid heart knew that as well.
Today, the two of you went to an art exhibition in another city, a trip you've been excited for awhile now. Hongjoong loved art and fashion and asked you specifically to accompany him and you, of course, did happily without hesitation, deeply enjoying the beautiful art displayed there and his cute rambling about his favorite pieces. It was a delightful evening you two spent together, with lots of banter and laughter.
Well, and then the two of you forgot the time and ended up in the only motel that had a room available. So here you were now, both in your fancy clothes from the exhibition, contemplating the awkward situation of having to share a single bed. It's not exactly the most ideal circumstance, but whatever, you had to live with it now.
You both quickly set up a makeshift barrier with the pillows and after that, you quickly excused yourself to freshen up and headed to the bathroom. As you turned on the hot water and stepped into the shower, your heart raced uncontrollably. You desperately tried to focus on the warmth of the water and the smell of the shampoo the motel put there to use, anything to distract you from the fact that you were about to share a bed with Hongjoong. 
Once you were done, you dried off and changed into your underwear, taking a few deep breaths to calm your racing heart. It's just for one night, you reminded yourself. Sighing, you gathered your courage and made your way back to the room, where the man of your literal dreams awaited you - half naked, just like you were now. 
When you entered the room, you knew it was over for you.
There, right before your very own eyes sat the most gorgeous, attractive man you've ever seen, and the sight made you weak in your knees. His hair was a little disheveled, his muscles were beautifully defined and his face - god, these pretty features, those plump lips you've been dreaming about so often and those dark, brown eyes… that were now staring right back at you, catching you drooling over him; the man you called your best friend.
Shit.
As you sat down onto the bed, time seemed to slow down. Every detail of his appearance was etched into your mind as if to be remembered forever. The quickened pace of your heart was evident, and you fumbled for words. Your best friend's presence had transformed into something entirely new, awakening emotions you never knew existed. Caught in a moment of utter disbelief, you grappled with the realization that your feelings for him had veered far from mere friendship. You didn't know when and how, but it was an undeniable fact. 
“Shit,” you whispered under your breath, grappling with the tumultuous thoughts racing through your mind.
“What's bothering you?”
Hongjoong's voice pulled you out of your thoughts, and you quickly shook your head, trying to act nonchalant. "Nothing, just tired," you mumbled, avoiding eye contact. It was now or never. You had to push these feelings aside and get through the night without revealing your turmoil. Yet, as you both lay down on the bed, the physical closeness of your bodies only intensified the emotional storm brewing inside of you. The sound of Hongjoong's breathing in the quiet room seemed deafeningly loud, echoing each heartbeat that betrayed the depth of your feelings for him. As much as you wanted sleep to overcome you, it stayed frustratingly out of reach - taunting you with dreams that could never be realized.
And then, Hongjoong shifted closer, so close in fact you could feel his warm breath on your neck and- oh…
Something hard was poking your ass.
You quickly put a hand over your mouth to suppress the moan that almost slipped out, but it was too late.
Hongjoong already knew the effect he had on you.
Slowly, his hands grabbed onto your hips, harshly squeezing the flesh he was finally able to touch, pushing his closed erection even more onto your barely clothed ass, and it made you almost lose your mind.
“J-joongie”, you whimpered, desperate for more, your legs rubbing against each other for some sweet release.
“When you wore that dress today”, your best friend started talking with that sweet, raspy voice of his, his lips biting and kissing your neck up and down, “I thought I was going crazy. Wanted to pull it off you the entire fucking day. And now you're laying here, half naked, fuck, it made me so hard just looking at you.”
His fingers wandered south, hovering over your clothed and wet pussy. You could feel his lips curl into a devilish smirk.
“I know you're wet too, baby. The way you looked at me earlier was all I needed to know, but I still wanna hear you say it, Y/N. Say you want this. Say you want me.”
“P-please, Joongie”, was all you could utter.
He only hummed, and then his fingers introduced you to places best friends should not explore together.
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Jeong Yunho
“And remember kids: don't do the naughty here, the walls aren't exactly thin”, your mom teased, laughing as she saw your reddened cheeks and widened eyes. You've never felt more embarrassed and all you wanted at that moment was for the ground to open up and swallow you.
It was your family's yearly skiing trip, something you were not quite fond of - not because you didn't love your family, you did so very much, but because they wouldn't stop their relentless teasing, no matter what. And to be honest, you were sick and tired of it.
When will our Y/N finally get a boyfriend?
Over the years, you started to resent this question more and more. You knew they meant no harm, yet they also wouldn't respect your boundaries and you simply had enough.
So for this year you had a plan: bringing your best friend Jeong Yunho with you, but pretending he was your boyfriend. 
At first, it seemed like a great idea. Now… you weren't so sure anymore.
Behind your embarrassed figure, Yunho only laughed as you closed the door and put your head against it, sighing, glad that inappropriate comments like this were finally over - for now, at least. 
Yunho, sensing your discomfort, walked over and gave you a reassuring squeeze on your shoulder. “Hey, don't worry about it”, he said with a gentle smile. “We knew this might happen, right? Remember our plan?” You nodded, recalling the pact you both had made before embarking on this trip: to support each other through the teasing and to act as convincingly as possible in your fake relationship. Taking a deep breath, you tried to shake off the embarrassment and focus on enjoying the vacation with your family and Yunho by your side. 
Tomorrow, you could deal with their comments again, as embarrassing as they were. What worried you now was how the hell you'd survive this night with your alleged boyfriend in a bed together.
“Let's go to bed now. After all, we gotta get up early tomorrow right, my girlfriend?”
For the first time that day, your cheeks did not redden out of embarrassment. 
As you settled into bed after your nightly skincare routine, you couldn't help but feel the awkwardness in the air. Yunho, ever the gentleman, had given you plenty of space – even suggesting that he could sleep on the floor if it made you more comfortable. However, you insisted that it wasn't necessary, as the whole point of this charade was to make your family believe that you were in a relationship. The two of you lay there in silence for a while, finding solace in the darkness of the room. Eventually, soft laughter from Yunho broke the silence.
“What's so funny?”, you whispered, a pout forming on your face as you turned around, now face to face with your fake boyfriend. 
“You just- you just look so stiff”, he chuckled quietly. “I won't bite Y/N. It's just me, remember?”
Yeah, that's the problem you big, idiotic, sweet, attractive man.
Gathering the courage, you slowly breathed in and out, finally relaxing and turned around to face Yunho, letting out a small laugh as well. “I know, I'm sorry. It's just... weird, you know?” 
Yunho nodded in understanding, his eyes meeting yours with nothing but warmth and reassurance. As the silence stretched between you two, your heart raced slightly at this newfound closeness in the dimly lit room. So close that you could feel each other's breaths. Mustering up your courage once again, you let out a quiet question that had been lingering in your mind for a while now. “Hey Yunho, do you think our plan is working? Do they actually believe we're together?”
He thought for a moment before giving a small nod. “I think so, and if not, we'll put on a more convincing show tomorrow.” You smiled at his determination and felt your heart swell with gratitude for having such an amazing best friend by your side. Slowly but surely, the awkwardness dissipated as the two of you fell into a gentle conversation laced with laughter and comfort. You talked and talked, like best friends always do, and then after another round of laughter, you felt it for the first time.
The air around you had changed.
Yunho was close, you realized, too close for a man you only considered a friend. And you… didn't mind at all.
Your heart pounded in your chest as you noticed the way his eyes lingered on your lips before returning to meet your gaze. A sudden surge of emotions flooded through you, making it difficult to think straight or remember the original plan. As if reading your mind, Yunho hesitated for a moment before gently taking one of your hands into his, intertwining your fingers. His touch sent a shiver down to your spine, and the anticipation of what could happen next hung heavily in the air. It was then that you realized that maybe, just maybe, this fake relationship wasn't so fake for either of you anymore. 
You couldn't deny the chemistry and sparks that seemed to grow with each passing day, and now as you laid there - breathless and close - it became evident that whatever was happening between the two of you was true and real. With a deep breath, Yunho broke the silence once more, murmuring softly, “Y/N… can we talk about this?” 
It wasn't just a question; it was an invitation to confront what had been lurking beneath the surface all along - feelings both exciting and terrifying that threatened to topple the carefully built charade neither of you could maintain any longer. And as you swallowed hard, preparing yourself for what may lie ahead, you knew one thing for certain: things between you and Yunho would never be quite the same again.
And that's exactly what you wanted; you wanted Jeong Yunho, now.
“What would you do when I said that I really, really need you right now Yuyu?”, you whispered, your hands finding their way into his soft looks.
Yunho’s eyes widened, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down, yet he found his composure rather quickly, a smirk now adorning his features. 
“I'd say we'd have to be very, very quiet, baby girl.”
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Kang Yeosang 
There was a reason you've never gone camping before, and it was a very simple one: you were utterly scared, no, terrified of every sound coming from outside your tent.
You promised Yeosang to be a big girl and survive a night alone in order for him to be comfortable - he apparently wasn't a big fan of sharing tents with anyone, at least his friend Wooyoung said so - but now, after a few hours of laying wide awake and hyper aware of everything happening outside you were not so sure anymore. You were a scared cat, and you should've admitted that sooner.
As you laid there, trembling at every rustle of leaves and snap of twigs, you started questioning your decision to accompany Yeosang on this camping trip. You knew how important it was for him to explore nature together with you and his other friends, a group of young men you met for the first time today, and reconnect with the great outdoors; he constantly raved about the serenity and peacefulness that came with it. Desperate to impress him and strengthen your bond, you reluctantly agreed to face your fears head-on. Now, staring into the darkness that enveloped your cramped tent, you regretted not voicing your concerns earlier. As the night wore on, each eerie noise amplified your fear and apprehension. 
Unable to bear the mounting solitude any longer, you took a deep breath and mustered the courage to unzip your tent. Peering outside cautiously in search of Yeosang's tent, you decided that maybe braving the night with someone wasn't such a bad idea after all.
With your heart pounding in your chest, you cautiously stepped out of your tent, the cold night air sending a shiver down your spine. The moonlight filtered through the dense tree canopy, casting eerie shadows on the forest floor. As you tiptoed across the campsite, clutching your flashlight for dear life, you strained your ears to listen for any sign that the others were awake. Approaching Yeosang's tent, you hesitated for a moment, your fear battling against your desire not to seem clingy or needy. Finally, unable to withstand the terror gnawing at you any longer, you quickly unzipped the tent and got inside.
“Yeosang?”, you whispered quietly into the darkness.
To your immense relief, Yeosang was still awake and immediately sensed your fear. He whispered back: “Hey, what's wrong?” 
His voice was calm and comforting, making you feel somewhat protected. 
“Okay so I am not the tough girl you think I am, I am absolutely terrified and I will die if I stay alone in my tent any longer so please let me stay with you I promise to be quiet and not pull your hair and-”
“Okay okay”, Yeosang softly laughed, his deep voice calming you down in an instant as he stopped your incoherent rambling. “Stay here. It's fine, I don't mind if it's you.”
I don't mind if it's you.
How dare he just casually drop that and expect you to be totally normal about it.
As you settled down next to him, your heart rate finally began to slow, and the earlier terror started to subside. The warmth of his presence and the sound of his gentle breathing lulled you into a sense of safety. You glanced over at his sleeping bag, noticing how he had arranged his things meticulously around him - a stark contrast to the chaotic mess you had left in your own tent. 
Yeosang's steady presence beside you now seemed to make everything feel more manageable, and you couldn't help but feel a little grateful for those terrified moments that led you here. 
“Besides”, he began, a somewhat teasing undertone laying in his voice, “what did you think I'm hitting the gym for? To protect you from those terrible monsters outside, of co- h-hey, what are you doing?”
“Well, I have to see for myself if you're really capable of protecting me”, you teased. 
And goddamn, those muscles were no joke. As you squeezed his arms, Yeosang suddenly became very quiet and tense, but you were too busy comparing the size of his biceps to the size of your head - terrifying, if you may say so.
When did your best friend become so strong? When did his handsome, sweet self get such fucking muscles? 
“Y/N.”
“Hm?”
“If you keep doing this, I won't be able to contain myself any longer.”
You froze, suddenly very aware of the intimate situation you had put yourselves in. Releasing his arm, you sheepishly glanced at Yeosang, who was looking at you with a mix of amusement and lust in his eyes. The air between you two had thickened, heavy with unspoken emotions and tension. 
“W-what do you mean”, you asked, your cheeks a deep shade of red you were sure he could see even in this utter darkness.
Yeosang hesitated for a moment, his eyes never leaving yours. “Let's just say”, he began, his voice barely a whisper, “your touch has a powerful effect on me.” 
Your heart raced as the truth of his words began to sink in. The feelings you had been trying to suppress for so long now suddenly seemed to be mirrored in his intense gaze. Swallowing hard, you decided to take a leap of faith and reached out for Yeosang's hand, intertwining your fingers with his and slowly leading them to where you needed him the most, a deep moan leaving your lips once his fingers found your most vulnerable spot.
“You have this effect on me too, Yeo.”
“I can tell”, he hummed, “and I'm about to intensify it so much more, pretty girl.”
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Choi San
“Why the hell did I agree to this”, you grumbled, unable to even move an inch since Choi San was squeezing  hugging the living shit out of you.
“You love me, that's why.”
You wanted to wipe that smirk off his face so bad, but he was right; you could never say no to him.
And so, since San impulsively stated he'd spend the night at yours today, you had no other choice but to also agree to a rather odd sleeping habit of his: the need to hug something or else he wouldn't fall asleep. Like a baby.
Of course this man forgot to actually bring something he could hug, so, he decided to use you. Simple - for him, because for you, it was a whole other story.
The two of you spent nights together often, it wasn't bothering you that he slept in one bed with you. What bothered you was how fucking close he was, how nice he smelled and how good he smelled.
You felt your face heat up as you tried to calm your racing heart. Just focus on something else, you told yourself, attempting to concentrate on the gentle sound of his breathing and the soft rhythm of his chest rising and falling when he finally fell asleep. But it was a futile effort, and you only found yourself becoming more aware of the physical closeness between the two of you. How can he sleep so soundly like this? you thought, frustrated by how easily San seemed to have drifted off into dreamland while you lay awake, trapped in a turmoil of emotions. 
As the hours crawled by, fatigue finally started to win out against your embarrassment and discomfort. Your eyelids grew heavy, and eventually, you couldn't help but succumb to the pull of sleep even in San's tight embrace. 
It was a dreamless sleep, and a short one as well, because just hours later, you were pulled out of it rather quickly. At first, you were too sleepy to understand what was happening, but after pulling yourself together and getting more and more aware of your near surroundings, it dawned on you.
Choi San was humping you in his sleep, all while letting out moans and whimpers that immediately awoke you within a mere second.
And as embarrassing as it was, it made you feel things you never felt before.
Panic and curiosity fought within you as you debated whether to wake him up or not. This was clearly a dream of his, and you couldn't just let it go on, especially considering the awkward position it put you in. But at the same time, you couldn't help but feel an unfamiliar warmth spreading through your body; a forbidden desire that you had kept hidden for so long was slowly awakening. With a nervous breath, you made your decision. Gently, but firmly, you shook San awake.
“S-san, you gotta wake up- oh”, an unexpected moan slipped out of you as you felt his hard erection pressing against your stomach, his whimpers becoming even louder and more desperate. 
His eyes fluttered open, confusion dancing across his features as he tried to understand the situation. When realization finally dawned on him, San's face turned beet red with embarrassment. He quickly pulled away from you, stammering out an apology, his voice barely audible and shaky. “I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to... I don't know what came over me.” You could see the genuine remorse in his eyes, almost making you feel bad for waking him up.
You took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart. Your voice was gentle, yet firm as you responded: “It's okay, San. It was just a dream. But maybe... maybe we should try sleeping separately for the rest of the night?” 
The concern in his eyes as he nodded in agreement made it clear that he didn't want anything like this to happen again. For whatever foolish reason, his quick agreement hurt. As you settled into your respective sides of the bed, the distance between you felt like both a relief and a loss. Now more awake than ever, you were left alone with your thoughts.
And then, you asked a question you maybe shouldn't have asked.
“What did you dream about?”
“W-what?”
“You heard me, Choi San”, you only responded calmly.
San's eyes widened, taken aback by the sudden question. He hesitated, glancing away nervously and fiddling with his hands before finally finding the courage to answer. “I... I dreamt about you”, he confessed, his voice low and hesitant. “That red dress you wore at my birthday party… you had it on while you-” 
His gaze met yours for a brief moment before he quickly looked away again, unable to withstand the intensity of your stare, “while you straddled me and then- then you took my hand and let me touch you wherever I wanted and-” 
You listened carefully, feeling your face grow warm as San recounted his dream in a hushed tone. The forbidden desire you had been trying to suppress flared up with each new detail he shared. There was no denying the fact that you weren't just merely curious about his dream; you were genuinely interested in it, and the thought of it ignited something within you. You swallowed hard, trying to decide what your next move should be. Your heart thudded loudly in your chest as you made a bold decision.
“I want you to show me exactly what I did in your dream, Sannie.”
“Yeah I know I'm gross- wait, what?!”
You giggled, slowly getting closer to his figure once again and put your hands on his strong, muscular chest.
“Right, my bad; will you please show me all the naughty things we did together in your fantasy, Sannie?”
And oh, he made sure he showed you every. single. dirty. detail.
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Song Mingi
In the middle of a terrible snowstorm, you were laying in your bed wide awake while slowly but surely freezing to death - maybe you were a bit over dramatic, but it sure as hell felt like that. Because the electricity wasn't working, you had no other choice but to only warm yourself with as much clothing as one could wear and your soft blanket, and it still wasn't enough. 
And yet you still didn't want to accept Mingi’s offer of sharing a bed just this once to stay warm together. 
As the night wore on, the temperature in your room continued to decrease. You could see your breath in the air and started to worry about how long you could endure this frigid weather. The comforting thought of a warmer room, even if it meant temporarily swallowing your pride and accepting Mingi's offer, began to grow more and more appealing. After another hour of shivering under your ill-equipped blanket, you finally decided that enough was enough. You cautiously got out of your icy bed and made the trek down the hall to Mingi's room, hoping for a much-needed reprieve from the relentless cold. As you entered his surprisingly warm room, you silently acknowledged that this was indeed the better option for surviving the night.
You hated the heat, but for the first time you envied Mingi of his much warmer, comfortable room.
“Yo, are you awake?”, you whispered into the darkness, quietly closing the door behind you.
Mingi, who had been tossing and turning under his own blankets, startled at the sound of your voice but quickly realized it was you. “Yeah, I'm awake”, he replied, his voice barely audible above the howling wind outside. He sat up and shifted over in the bed, making room for you. 
“C'mon”, he said, patting the empty spot next to him. Hesitantly, you made your way over and crawled under the warm covers, allowing yourself to finally relax as the heat from Mingi's body began to seep into your shivering limbs. You both lay there for a few moments in silence, simply enjoying the warmth and each other's company.
Until Mingi had to ruin this peaceful moment.
“I thought you were fine on your own, Miss stubborn?”
Despite your initial reaction to roll your eyes at his comment, you knew that Mingi had every right to tease you. After all, admitting defeat was never something that came easy to you. “Alright, alright”, you muttered, burying your face into the cozy pillow to hide your embarrassment. “I guess I should've just accepted your offer in the beginning.”
“I don't understand why you didn't just do it.”
At that, you grew quiet for a moment. Because there was a reason, but one you just couldn't admit; your attraction for your best friend.
As you laid there, contemplating whether or not to reveal your true feelings to Mingi, the room seemed to grow warmer with the intensity of your thoughts. You had been friends for years - could this single moment change everything between you? But, as your body grew comfortable within the warm embrace of the bed and Mingi's calming presence beside you, you couldn't help but feel a sense of reassurance wash over you. 
Eventually, you mustered up the courage and whispered softly, “Mingi, there's something I have to tell you.” 
He turned his head towards you, waiting for your confession. Your heart raced as you said, “The real reason I didn't want to share a bed was... because I've been developing feelings for you.” With bated breath, you waited for his response.
But as he didn't answer, you were immediately alarmed. Sitting up in a haze, you looked down at his tall figure beside you, only to discover your best friend being as red as a rife tomato.
“Y-you- I mean, you l-like-”, he began stuttering, his eyes wide open and filled with utter confusion. 
Seeing him laying there, a shy, stuttering mess did something unexplainable to you; all of a sudden, you felt a rush of power and arousal rush through you.
All you wanted at that moment was to ruin him.
So, with an unexpected burst of confidence, you decided to take control of the situation. You began to straddle the still dumbfounded man, slowly letting your hands explore his upper torso, feeling him harden underneath you almost immediately. 
“I can just show you, princess”, you said seductively, and Mingi, being the obedient good man he was, agreed in an instant.
That night, the cold could not bother you even a little again.
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Jung Wooyoung 
Your eyelids fluttered open, and the soft glow of the moon bathed your cozy apartment in a gentle wash of silver light. Suddenly feeling thirsty after a night of extensive partying, you navigated through the dimly lit living room, trying to be as quiet as possible. Then, your gaze landed on a very ridiculous sight that yet never failed to bring a smile to your face – your best friend and roommate, Jung Wooyoung, curled up in a ridiculous position on the sofa, a half-empty bottle of soju resting precariously on the coffee table.
What a liar he was, saying he'd clean up right after all the guests went home, yet here he was, snoring loudly while the living room was still a complete mess. You sighed.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” you said, nudging him gently with your foot. “Time to move to your own bed.”
He grumbled incoherently, one arm thrown over his face. “Noooo, 'm comfy right here.”
You rolled your eyes and made your way to the kitchen, pouring yourself a glass of water and chugging it down immediately, the cold liquid making you feel better right away. You heard shuffling coming from the living room, indicating that Wooyoung was in fact moving to his room. After storing your used glass into the sink, you made your way back into your room, tired and ready for another round of sleep, only to find your best friend sprawled across your neatly made bed, snoring softly. “Wooyoung, come on,” you urged, trying to suppress a giggle. “You can't sleep here.”
He mumbled something about how your recently made sheets smelled better and buried his face in your pillows, looking blissfully content.
Sighing, you managed to pull off his shoes and jacket before sliding under the covers. As you settled into the warmth, his body shifted closer, pressing against yours in a way that sends tendrils of heat tingling through you.
“Hey,” he murmured, his breath warm against your neck.
Your heart stuttered as you turned to face him, the air tinged with electricity and something unspoken yet undeniably present.
‘Hey,” you whispered back, feeling the weight of his eyes on you, the tension crackling between you both. You gulped, trying hard to hold eye contact, but his intense gaze made it hard to not shy away. He did not seem drunk at all, but fully aware of his surroundings. Fully aware of you. 
For a moment, neither of you spoke, simply allowing the silence to settle as you studied each other's features, highlighted by the moon's ethereal glow. Wooyoung's eyes seemed to hold a question, something that remained unspoken but swirled in the air between you, leaving you feeling both exhilarated and vulnerable. Your breath hitched as he hesitantly reached a hand towards your face, gently brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. He smelled like wine, yet his eyes seemed clear, filled with both admiration and lust. His touch was soothing yet electric, awakening sensations you had never allowed yourself to explore before. As his face inched closer to yours, your lips nearly touching, you couldn't help but feel like this unspoken moment could change everything. And with a nervous exhale and an unexpected surge of courage, you closed the gap between you two, sealing a kiss that would mark the beginning of a new chapter in your friendship - the end of it, hopefully. 
Your lips met in a slow exploration, allowing yourselves to savor every sensation and acknowledge the emotions swirling beneath the surface.
As you parted from that intense but tender embrace, you opened your eyes to find him still gazing at you with an expression of awe and wonder; it mirrored your own unspoken thoughts. It was at that moment that the two of you quietly acknowledged what had been hidden for so long - that there was indeed something more profound growing between you in this cozy apartment bathed in moonlight.
“You will remember this tomorrow, r-right?”, you stuttered. 
His lips met your neck, officially marking you as his, and a whimper left you right there. You couldn't see it, but you knew he had this signature grin of his on those dangerous, kiss-worthy lips.
“Of course. I will take what's mine as soon as you open your eyes tomorrow. Probably won't even be able to wait until you're fully awake.”
Dear Lord, you could not wait what that man would do to you as soon as he was finally sober.
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Choi Jongho
“N’ then he actually cheated on her, can you believe that Jongho?!”, you slurred, all while barely being able to walk as your best friend opened the door to your apartment.
Today, you went out with Jongho and the other boys, eventually drinking a few shots too much as you all caught up with one another. 
Jongho couldn't help but chuckle at your drunken antics, shaking his head in disbelief as he held onto your arm to steady you. “Alright, alright, let's get you to bed before you spill any more gossip”, he said in a teasing tone. 
As you made your way down the hallway towards your room, you continued to ramble which left Jongho completely unfazed though; the poor man was trying his hardest to get you to bed safely, but in your state you didn't realize that, so after him only humming occasionally and otherwise ignoring you, you grew frustrated with him and tried to free yourself. 
In an effort to regain control over your own balance, you stubbornly swatted at Jongho's arm, accidentally tripping yourself in the process. The sudden movement took him by surprise, but his reflexes kicked in and he managed to catch you just in time, preventing a collision with the floor. “Whoa there!” he exclaimed, securing his grip around your waist to keep you upright. “Let's take it easy.”
Realizing the gravity of your near-fall, your frustration gave way to embarrassment. You mumbled an apology, trying your best to stand straight on your wobbly legs. Jongho merely sighed and offered you a reassuring smile, tightening his hold as he continued guiding you toward your bedroom. As much as it annoyed you when he didn't engage with your tipsy musings, you couldn't help but be grateful for his unwavering support - even in the most inebriated of moments.
“I'm glad my best friend is sooooo strong, otherwise I might have kissed the floor right there”, you giggled, patting his strong, muscular arms.
“Oh wow”, you muttered, in awe as you squeezed his arms more and more, feeling underneath you just how strong your best friend really was.
Of course you knew that. While his personality may be teddy bear like, Jongho was notorious for being able to break apples with his bare hands, but knowing about his strength and now directly feeling it were two completely different things.
And in your very drunken state, his strength made you unbelievably horny.
Jongho, seemingly unaware of the effect his strength was having on you, just chuckled at your reaction and shook his head. “Honestly, you get more ridiculous with each drink”, he playfully teased. 
As you both finally reached your bedroom, he assisted you in sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Maybe next time we should stick to non-alcoholic drinks”, he suggested jokingly, though there was a hint of sincerity in his voice. Carefully, he helped you remove your shoes and made sure you were comfortably tucked beneath the blanket. Before leaving the room, he handed you a glass of water and gently reminded you to drink it to help with a potential hangover in the morning. His nurturing nature left a warmth in your chest that made your heart swell with gratitude while also fueling your attraction. 
Many thought Jongho was a particularly cold person, but when with the right people, he was nothing but funny and caring, just like right now - while all you wanted was for him to use his strength, doing whatever he wanted to you.
“Hey, you still with me Y/N?”
“Fuck me, Jongho”, you blurted out.
Jongho's eyes widened in surprise at your sudden, bold request. For a moment, he hesitated, uncertain whether to be alarmed or amused by the effect of alcohol on you. Then, he let out a soft laugh and shook his head, clearly understanding that you were not in the right state of mind for such things. “Alright, Y/N, I think it's time for you to sleep this off”, he advised gently, his voice carrying a hint of embarrassment and concern.
“No, you don't understand! I'm not joking! I've been wanting you for so, so long. Everyday I'm reminded of how sexy, strong, cute, funny and nice my best friend is, and when that woman flirted grinded onto you at the club today all I could think about was me doing this to you, and then you'd grab me and kiss me and touch me and-”
“Fucking hell”, Jongho muttered, his eyes dark and filled with lust as he looked down at you.
Taking his jacket and shoes off and slipping underneath the sheets beside you, Jongho looked not once broke eye contact, staring at you until you were squealing in frustration. 
“If you'll be a good girl and go to bed I'll let you do whatever you want to me tomorrow, hm? What do you think, baby?”
Never in your life have you agreed to something this fast.
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570 notes · View notes
myillusions · 11 months
Text
Home (Joel Miller x f!reader)
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Summary: You and Joel have been in a relationship, but only in private, for multiple months. After you spot him with another woman whilst roaming Jackson, scepticism ensues. The trials and errors of Joel Millers emotions.
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
Word Count: 3.6k
Warnings: age gap (joel is mid-50’s, reader is 24), pretty heavy angst, fluff, swearing, joel being mean, happy ending, fighting (verbal), uhh misconception on a situation
A/N: hi!! first one shot fr so nervous to post this one. i apologise for it being quite rushed it was typed on my phone and somewhat unedited!! still hope u enjoy thanks so much to anyone who reads <33
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“Joel!” You caterwauled through a boisterous laugh as his sturdy arms came to wrap around your waist, hauling you back down onto the sunken mattresses, wrapping himself around you to keep you there, limbs intertwining. You struggled for a few pitiful moments, before you inevitably relaxed against his hold with a passive sigh. Joel lowered his head down to press against the dip of your neck, littering multiple content kisses there, before he grumbled against your skin,
“Stay.”
You gave a roll of your optics, pushing him away with a palm to his chest to meet his conceited grin with your own teasing one. “We have to go to patrols, Joel. We’ve slept in for too long.”
Joel grunted, his hands finding their way to your sides once again to hoist you up to lay on top of him, neck craning upwards to press his lips passionately against your own, hand securely suited on your cheek. You instantaneously reciprocated, humming against his mouth, pressing up against him tenaciously.
You both stayed like that until your throat screamed for reprieve, disconnecting from him; though he still chased after your lips. You gave a faint chuckle, tapping him against his abdomen as you lifted your thigh upwards, rolling off his brawny physique to heave yourself from the bed, however begrudgingly. “Come on, old man. Get up.”
Joel remained where he was set, arms crossing behind his head comfortably, merely staring over towards you as you rummaged around to pick out blemished clothes for the day. After dressing, you peered back over towards Joel, who enduringly continued to examine you from where you stood fumblingly, stealing all remaining breath from your lungs with a single glare.
You swallowed harshly, before sheepishly saying, “What?”
Joel allowed a small yet winsome smile to crack against his features, shaking his head slowly. “Nothin’. Just wanted to look at you.”
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The patrols of the day dragged out for an unnecessarily prolonged time, limbs aching with fatigue by the time you returned to the confines of the Jackson walls. During the entire patrol, your mind had been preoccupied; the days earlier moments shared with Joel finding a special place in your heart, carving its name against it, deeply and thoroughly. You bit your lip in thought, pondering on your relationship with the peppered grey and brunette-haired man. Sure, you weren’t exactly together, and your entire situation consisted only behind closed doors; besides the hushed whispers, discreet glances and tender touches in passing, that is. You two both agreed early on that you wouldn’t be public about your close association, preferring to keep it private. If this would be from embarrassment of being seen with you or to protect himself, you weren’t sure; but in all sincerity, you didn’t much care. He had you, you had him, and his arms around you felt like home.
You were dragged from your thoughts when a spirited giggle sounded from a nearby alleyway. Allowing your curiosity to take the best of you, you creeped forth to seek out the source of it. Intrigued, you peeked your head around the corner, heart instantaneously spiralling downwards into the pits of your stomach, finding home there. It didn’t take long to register the scene unveiling before you, becoming so accustomed to the way the familiar man’s broad back strained against his stocky shoulders, with his hair unruled, sticking out in multiple different directions. Only thing was; he wasn’t alone. Joel was placed halfway down the alley, close towards a woman, who you assumed was the origin of the titter. She shifted in her placing, alluring eyes flickering up towards Joel, who was whispering incoherent words into her ear.
You didn’t need to see anything else, tears already pitifully welling up against your sockets to blur the sight as you shoved yourself away from the scratchy brick which burned along your flushed skin, setting a quick pace down the streets of Jackson, breath strained and struggling to find its escape. The overwhelming, jagged emotions surrounding you like a hurricane caused your insides to wound up tightly, threatening you with the efforts of a choked sob. You let your feet take you in any opposing direction to where Joel and the woman weren’t, eventually winding atop a hill, spine raking down the back of bark as you settled into a compacted ball.
You bit down on your bottom lip as it wavered. The pain in your heart accelerated from a dull throb to a searing, glaring pain; kicking your heartbeat to something much adjacent to a sharp hammer against a blistering anvil. And just as swiftly as it came, all afflictions broke from your wind pipe, like a brisk, frigid zephyr rushing past; causing an agonising weep to be sought from your throat. The conflict caused your head to be thrown forwards in the space between your arms, seeking any source of solace possible. Not much came.
That was how you ended up here, fixed atop a hillock, with Maria giving her best to console you, wiping away reminiscing tears from your cheeks messily with the back of your palm.
“I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”
The question makes Maria pause, her brows pinching together in a questioning manner as her attention downturned to where you were perched, set with your back against an oak tree and knees firmly planted against your chest. “Whys that?”
“He’ll never love me.” You murmur in response, throat closing in as you meet your dejected gaze with Maria’s own benign one, swirling with hints of sympathy. It was blatantly clear who the topic was revolved around, and you were aware that Maria understood this, too. The only people who knew much about you and Joel were Tommy and Maria, which you were thankful for.
She took a sharp inhale as she considered her next words, her head tilting to the side thoughtfully. “I think, sometimes, we fall for people we know we shouldn’t.”
You gave a defeated, laborious sigh; stomach churning sickeningly at her words, before you gravely inquired, fretting Maria’s answer. “But why?”
“It’s easier to fool ourselves and say that we’re okay, I guess. If we fall in love with someone we can’t or don’t have, it keeps the fantasy of ‘what if’ alive, y’know?” Maria answered softly, as though worried she would puncture an old wound of yours, whilst you apprehensively pick at strands of grass, the texture stinging against your tender flesh, “When someone is unobtainable, we live in the world we create of them in our mind. It makes seeing reality much more difficult.”
You frown towards this, tears watering with the threat of spilling over in a moment, though you force it back. Maria found a way to discreetly pinpoint your exact situation with shrewd words, however pessimistic. You were unable to form a coherent sentence in reply, so instead you offer the woman a tight-lipped, doleful smile, truly grateful for her opinion. You drag your glare over the setting sun, which began to give way to the moon, drowning the sky out in a whirlpool of azure and bronze and littering the canvas with white specks.
You gave a pensive hum, keeping your attention set against a peculiar dot shining obnoxiously brighter than the rest. “When you consider things like the stars, our affairs don’t seem to matter very much, do they?”
Maria gave a light chuckle of her concurrence, arms raising to wrap along her chest. Your head dipped downwards to now focus on the soiled terrain, the brief moment of peacefulness rapidly fleeting. It really is the hardest thing- when the person you want to comfort you the most, is the one that left you feeling that way. There’s no escaping that painful homesick feeling that settles in your chest.
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Once the sun had completely dipped behind the silhouettes of the mountains, you had bid Maria a tepid farewell, heading back in the direction in which you came, only this time veering off to walk towards your assigned house. After hauling the door open and closing it brutally behind you, your footsteps barely made it past the kitchen before three resounding knocks banged against the flimsy wood of your door, the echo reverberating against your eardrums frantically. You released a shaky exhale, shifting back around to twist the handle, slinging the door open, only to be met with Joel standing on your porch, an amiable grin stretched along his expression. Though, it immediately fell as he took in your appearance; puffy eyes, reddened cheeks and a perpetual frown.
“What happened?” Joel questioned, taking a step forwards to embrace you within his hold; but you precariously moved a pace backwards, causing his arms to fall loosely by his side. You cast your gaze downwards, not yet to be able to meet the man’s interrogating eyes.
“I saw you… out there…” You murmured; words barely distinguishable. Joel took another step, closing the door behind him with his foot, but he didn’t dare make any additional actions.
“What? What do you mean, you saw me?” Joel inquired; tone wary. You didn’t respond for a multitude of passing moments in tense silence, until Joel called your name, breaking you from your sorrow and giving way to vexation; like a glass bottle, which withheld a secret note within it, shattering. You snapped your attention up towards him, profile hardening.
“That woman, Joel. I saw you. In that alleyway.” You informed, taking the chance to reverse more from his towering figure. You watched as his face morphed into that of uncertainty, before it fell into cognisant and penitence. You stood, waiting bitterly for his coming response. He opened his mouth for a few moments, though no words came; he fixed himself with a cough, shifting against his weight subtly.
“It wasn’t anything. We were only talking.” Joel tried, and you couldn’t stop the way an astonished scoff escaped you, eyes rolling sardonically, as you shot back, voice somewhat lifting to a dim yell,
“Talking? Please, Joel, that’s the dumbest excuse I’ve ever heard!” Joel gave a groan, hand lifting to rub at the spot between his eyes momentarily, his head shaking vigorously.
“No, you don’t understand. She’s been causing problems with Tommy, I was only warning ‘er-“ You interrupted him with a humourless laugh, throwing your arms up against the air. How idiotic did he believe you were?
“Don’t even try lying to me. It was obvious, she was practically undressing you with her eyes!” You retorted, blatant indignation raging against your eyes.
“I ain’t bloody lyin’, girl!” Joel countered, his own tone thickening. You gave a harsh glare towards him, pivoting on your heel to force your way into the lounge room, clammy hands running along the material of your pants in efforts to compose yourself, though it proved to only rile you up more as Joel followed suit.
You whirled around here, scowling. “How can I even trust you, Joel? You don’t tell me anything! I don’t even know how you feel half of the time.” You pointed out with an exasperated huff. Joel stopped in his steps towards this, jaw grinding downwards irritably.
“You knew what you were getting into when this started.” Joel reminded you, only causing your stomach to lurch drastically more. He was right, you had known what getting into something with Joel Miller meant. It meant nothing was public, so he had no true obligation towards you. That didn’t break your stance, though, remaining resolutely stubborn as you crossed your arms over your chest protectively.
Joel gave an overwhelmed sigh, his posture slightly falling as he spoke, gaze directing to the side of you. “This is wrong. You’re so young, you don’t know what you’re doing to yourself, being with me.”
This caused you to shoot daggers against his skin, teeth clenching. “I’m not a child, Joel. I have every idea.” You turned away from him, unable to continue to watch him stand there like he was being forced to remain in place, like it was a duty. You clicked your tongue resentfully. “Though maybe I should’ve listened when Maria said this would be a mistake.”
Joel grumbled from behind you, his movements stiff. “Why does everything always have to be a fuckin’ struggle with you?”
You spun around to face him, viciously, storming forwards to accusingly jab a finger against his sternum. “Me? I can’t believe you sometimes! You can barely even look at me in public! But when we’re alone, you say all this comforting shit to me. Then you act like absolutely nothing happened? God, and I’m the idiotic one? I don’t know why you’re dragging me along, why you’re getting me to play this game. I don’t understand you.”
Joel immediately shoved your hand away from him, holding it against his own palm securely, countering you with an immensely threatening sneer. “Like I told you already; she’s been causing trouble around Jackson, and it’s a problem for Tommy. I was telling her to back off. Nothing was happening.”
At this point, it was too late to even comprehend the thought of him standing before you, so ardently obstinate in safeguarding his feelings with his reticent answers. Besides, even if you did believe him about the woman, the dispute dug so much deeper than that, this was only the pristine cherry on top of the double scooped ice cream. You had convinced yourself into accepting his requirements for the relationship, though you always covertly knew you wished he wanted more. You raked your hand back from his as you felt a tug against your throat, an alarming sob beginning to rise up to fall past your lips. You refused to let Joel see you cry, though, instead turning your head away from him, with a suppressed sniffle under your hand as you wiped against your cheek.
“Maybe you should just leave now.” You decided with a whisper, keeping your gaze set against your window, where outside the people of Jackson frolicked absentmindedly over the winding streets. Joel persisted to remain in his spot, standing rigid.
“Just leave, Joel.” You spat out, your voice cracking unadvisedly. Joel gave a defeated sigh, twisting on his heel to vacate the residence. And just like that, he left you standing in your living room, stout tears rolling down your sensitive skin the second the door slammed behind his dispersing frame. You pressed your limbs closer against yourself, head lolling down sullenly. You were unsure which pain was worse- the shock of what happened or the ache of what never did. Homesick.
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Two days had passed since your quarrel with Joel. To say it had been arduous would be an
understatement. You were sat in your lounge room, pressed closely against the cushions besmirched with soot, restlessly picking at your nails after returning home from a tiresome afternoon of patrols. You had been weighing the entire argument in your head since it occurred, unable to sleep the night of, thrashing and twisting against your worn-out mattress, only to eventually grow irritable and sit out on the front of your porch until the sun awoke from its slumber.
After a multitude of hours spent staring towards your bergamot-stained wall, you hoisted yourself from the uncomfortable material, throwing on a black wool jacket on your way out the door, decisively trudging in the direction of Joel’s house. The flow of your relationship with the man had been a choreographed dance for multiple months, ripping you apart when you needed to cling. You supposed the time had come to implement some new moves. This was the only thought rushing through your mind as you slammed your fist against his stocky door multiple times, regret instantly seeking into your veins; but before you had the time to turn and rush back in the way you came, the door was thrown open to reveal a stern Joel, who had also just come back from his own patrols, no doubt. With the way fatigue hopped against his eyes and his rugged appearance mixed with worn-out clothes, it was clear he was tired.
“Hi.” You breathed, eyes wide as you gawked at him, poignantly. He stared for a second, his expression unreadable. Much to your relief, he then moved off to the side to allow you in, wordlessly. You edged past him, shoulder lightly raking against him which caused him to exhale woodenly as he shut the door, the scent of whiskey wafting over your senses like a lustrous wave. You turned to face him, all prepared speeches dashing off before you could catch up with them. You rather just- pathetically gawped over at him.
Joel then cleared his throat, brows furrowing as he pushed. “Well?”
You shook your head, regathering yourself. You blinked back towards him, breath quickening expeditiously as his expectant gaze met yours. Fuck, why was this so difficult? You decided to pace in front of him, in attempts to gain some ounce of confidence.
“Ok, well, you see- I kinda, no, I sorta- I figured that I didn’t really hear you out all that much yesterday.” You began to ramble, hands flailing beside your body as you walked back and forth, “It’s just I saw you with that woman, y’know? And it hurt. It hurt a lot. Even if it wasn’t anything. And you’re embarrassed to be seen with me around other people, and that hurt more. So even when you tried to explain the situation, I didn’t want to believe you-“
“Embarrassed?” Joel interrupted gruffly, squinting. You stopped dead in your tracks to peer around at him, curiously. Joel gave a sigh of realisation, a small grin replacing his frown, though it was quick to be wiped. He took a prompt step forwards, to which you tensed at, though didn’t dare move.
“Sweetheart, I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you. I just-“ Joel paused here, his tongue swiping along his bottom lip, “It’s not safe for you to be seen around with me. I’m not a good man.”
You completely turned to face him, awareness barrelling into you at blistering speed, demeanour abruptly flipping over and around. Fuck. You had thoroughly believed that you were the problem. Had you truly misinterpreted the entire situation?
You shook your head in an insistent manner. “You’re not a bad man, either, Joel; I don’t really believe that.” Joel grimaced towards your words, palms curling into fists by his side.
“You say that, but you don’t understand the consequences of being- truly being with someone like me.” You stare towards him, weighing your options against the palm of your hand, before you come to a rash conclusion.
You hastily drew yourself closer to him, “I don’t care. I want to be seen with you. I want people to know.”
“People will talk.” Joel persuaded tirelessly, moving back from you until his spine almost pressed up against the discoloured wall. You almost sneered your reply, determined for him to recognise your lack of acknowledgement for the opinions of others.
“Let them. Joel; even if you are doing this to try and protect me, I don’t want it. I can protect myself. And I- we’ve all done some fucked up shit. It’s a necessity in a world like this. I want you. All of you. Please.”
“Why?” Joel insisted, and you couldn’t muster up a reason to not allow the words to spill easily from your mouth, like translucent liquid,
“Because I’m in love with you, Joel. I struggle to even form a logical thought when I’m around you. You make me feel safe, like I belong. I wouldn’t have survived this long here without you.”
An inflexible silence rested against the abundantly thick air, gripping you in a chokehold. Lament wavered along your physique, and you opened your mouth to speak again, prepared to spill out a thousand apologies.
“Joel-“ You were cut off by Joel taking two perilous steps forwards to crash his lips against yours. It took a moment for the action to configure in your brain, gears short circuiting, causing Joel to tense and begin to pull back. You quickly raised your palm to his cheek, salt peppered beard scratching deliciously at your skin, bringing his jaw down to your own to meld your mouths back together; creating the perfect sculpture. You crooned against him as he turned the both of you around, pressing your back against the wallpaper, your arms dropping carelessly around his neck as his hands came to circle your waist and pin you as near to him as physically possible, and you blissfully allowed it.
Joel gave a groan when you disconnected your lips from his own, having to glide back up to the surface and draw in an immense inhale. You smiled, content, as your head dipped forth to press your foreheads together, breath being deftly shared between the small space separating you both.
“Okay.” Joel spoke gently after a while, your gaze flitting up to meet his, falling into a trance at the way his brown eyes deeply bore against you.
“Okay?” You repeated, breathless. He gave a small grin, his attention flitting downwards to your lips, and he couldn’t resist the urge to reach a hand up and trace his thumb over your swollen bottom lip.
“We’ll give it a try.” Joel replied, his optics flittering back up your face. Your breath hitched as his digit dragged along your cheek bone. We’ll give us a try. You released a pleased exhale, eyelashes momentarily fluttering down against your skin as you nodded. You blinked back up towards Joel, whose gaze was already intently set on you.
“Okay.” You affirmed, and Joel dipped his head down towards you again, capturing you in an embrace that sent a sharp shiver along your spine. Wrapped against his build, his scent of sandalwood and musk drifting about, plump lips comfortingly pressed against yours and brown eyes which you could find yourself lost in for decades. And in that peace, you found home again.
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“You and I, always almost. Again, and again. We were always on the verge of almost. Never nothing, never something.”
Home - Paravi
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gisellaswrld · 4 months
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i’m at a loss of words even looking at you; no pain could ever reach how it felt when you twisted the knife.
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jh86 | traveling to michigan due to the loss of your father sucked. especially when a familiar face longed to speak to you.
The passing of your father was sudden, unexpected really. The last time you seen him-- a few months ago-- he was perfectly fine. A week ago, your mom called you stating he had fallen really ill. A few days after, she announced his passing to the family.
You made the unfortunate flight to Michigan, having to take your second semester finals earlier to be able to make it to Michigan. Luckily, all your professors were willing to allow you to take them early.
Being in Michigan brought a dark gloom over your head. Of course, it was mostly due to your father's passing, but the last time you were in Michigan, it didn't end well.
Last summer, you were in an on-and-off situationship with your long-term best friend Jack Hughes. At first, it was great. You had the ability to brag that you were the one Jack was fucking at night, you were the girl that Jack had his arm around at the party of the night.
Until you fell for him, something that was easy to do. Jack had charm, his game with women was off the charts. You knew he had a way with getting women to fall easily for him. Before you agreed to the friends with benefits deal, you swore to yourself you wouldn’t fall in love — but you did.
Instead of effectively communicating your feelings to Jack and dealing with the rejection, you ghosted him when you went back to school. You expected him to reach out to you, but instead you got nothing from him. In the end, you thought that hurt worse than rejection ever could.
You stood in front of the mirror that hung on the door to your childhood bedroom. Smoothing out the black dress, you sucked in a deep breath. You were sure Ellen and Jim would be at the visitation. You just were unsure if they forced their three sons to join along.
A soft knock pulled you from your thoughts. You opened the door to see your mother, her eyes clearly swollen from her late night sobbing.
“Are you ready, honey?” Her hoarse voice spoke. You gave her a sincere smile. You knew your mother was in a lot of pain. After all, she lost her husband — the love of her life. You were upset about your father’s passing, but your mother was just completely empty of any emotion besides grief.
“Yeah, I just need to grab my purse. I’ll be right down.” You replied, voice quiet. Your mother nodded, shutting the door to your room. Seeing your mother in this deep of pain hurt you beyond words could explain.
You reached for your purse that was slung on the desk chair, accidentally knocking a few things over. “Shit-“ You grumbled, trying to gather them. You noticed a small note that was hidden behind the old clutter on your desk.
Good Luck in Maine, Stevie. I’ll miss you while you’re gone! - Jack
The familiar — yet unfamiliar — nickname made your stomach turn. It came from your undying love for Stevie Nicks in middle school. When you and Jack would walk home after school, the sound of Fleetwood Mac was always playing from your speaker. Jack turned that into a nickname for you.
You had been wondering why listening to Fleetwood Mac had been making you upset recently, the note just clicked a few buttons in your brain to remind you.
You crumbled the post-it note into your hand, tossing it somewhere in your room. With a huff, you grabbed your purse and left the room. Your family had been waiting downstairs. Evelyn, your younger sister, had a blank expression on her face due to the grief. Your older brother looked like he hadn’t been sleeping well.
You were the epitome of a mourning family.
Your mom drove everyone to the funeral home, it was an hour before the visitation started. Your mother wanted to ensure the visitation room was prepped like how she wanted it.
The visitation room made your heart twist and ache. There were photos of your dad scattered everywhere. Family photos, old prom pictures, even pictures of him attached to a telephone pole from his first job were posted.
“Wow,” Your brother commented, his eyes turning glassy quickly. “This is… this is heavy.” He continued, swallowing harshly.
Your eyes quickly connected to a photo. It was of your father and Jim Hughes. They were the best of friends in high school. The photo was of them holding you and Jack when you were babies. You shook your head, rolling the tears out of your eyes.
Soon enough, the visitors started to roll in. They ranged from family to friends and even some of your own peers showed up. You and your brother stayed off to the side, watching as family consoled your mother.
“Surprised Aunt Nancy even showed her face. Last time I check, she was strung out on meth in Illinois.” Your brother scoffed, staring directly at your father’s sister.
“Dad wouldn’t have wanted her here.” You replied, agreeing with him.
Your attention was turned to the family walking in, the Hughes family. All five of them were present, even Jack. Your stomach turned, feeling queasy at the thought of being in his presence.
Jim spotted you and your brother, considering you were off to the side of the crowd. He led his family over.
“I see your mom is caught up with your father’s family?” Jim commented, a sad expression on his face. He lost his high school best friend, the guy he partied with through college, and the guy he purposefully lived next to in Michigan — just so they wouldn’t be apart.
“Nancy is here,” Your brother answered, watching as Jim rolled his eyes.
“I’m so sorry, honey. I’m sure this is hard,” Ellen frowned pulling you into a hug. You haven’t cried yet today, but this interaction was pushing you close to your limits.
“It is, but what can you do,” You answered, a small frown forming on your face. Your eyes trailed over to Jack, who was piercingly staring at you. You pulled out of Ellen’s grasp, watching as her and Jim got swept away by your mother.
Quinn was the first to speak up. “So, what happened? Jimmy said it was unexpected.”
You looked over at your brother, knowing you’d be the one to explain the story. “He got admitted to the hospital after he went for a high fever. Turns out he had many malignant tumors in his lungs and bronchus. He passed not too long after.” You sadly answered, your voice nothing short of monotonous.
“Fuck — that’s awful.” Luke sighed, scratching at his head. You and your brother shrugged simultaneously. “It happens.” Your brother responded.
Jack stood quietly behind Quinn, his attention fully devoted to you. Your stomach churned, causing you to become light headed. “I’ll be back,” You whispered to your brother, quickly walking out of the visitation room.
You found the women’s bathroom, quickly slamming open the door. You didn’t have time to lock the door behind you. Your body hunched over the toilet, the contents of your stomach spilling out of your mouth. Your body was shaking due to the exertion. You had a few tears spilling from your eyes, ones that you quickly wiped away.
You flushed the toilet, falling against the bathroom wall. “Of course—“ You commented, your voice quiet.
Slowly, your stood to your feet, standing in front of the mirror that was above the sink. You let out a shuddered breath. You ran the water, gargling some water in your mouth. You spit it out into the sink, feeling some relief.
While leaving the bathroom, you had your head in your purse searching for gum. You felt your body come to a halt as someone grabbed your arm. You found the gum, sliding a piece into your mouth, then looked up to see Jack.
“Are you okay?” Jack asked, his hand gripping onto your arm. You looked down, pulling your arm from his grasp. “I’m good.” You confirmed, nodding at him.
“Why didn’t you ever reach out?” He asked, his eyes forming into a glare. You raised your eyebrows, scoffing. “Are you really asking me why I didn’t reach out at my dad’s visitation?” You quickly fired back, watching as his expression changed.
“I just wanted to know, Stevie. That’s all.”
“Don’t call me that.” You stated, turning on your heels to walk away from him. You sucked in a deep breath once back into the visitation room, joining your brother once more.
This is going to be a long week.
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You peered out at the sinking sun, watching as night fell onto the town in Michigan. The colder atmosphere chilled the air, unfortunately you didn’t bring a jacket.
The large pier was empty this time of year. There were no tourists to occupy the town, just those who lived here year round. The sound of the water moving and occasional car driving past kept your mind at peace.
This is where you decided you hated Michigan.
A car door could’ve been heard if you weren’t trapped in your mind. The car door could’ve signaled to you that someone would be joining you within moments. It could’ve been a serial killer, or some elderly woman who wants to knit.
Instead, it was Jack.
He sat down next to you on the bench, quietly turning his head to you. “Your brother told me you were here,” Jack spoke, his eyes fixated on you. “I didn’t ask,” You simply replied, voice quiet.
“Do you hate me, or something? I’m lost at how suddenly you just disappeared, and why you did.” Jack blurted, turning his body slightly towards. you.
You shrugged, a small frown forming on your lips.
“Do you regret it? Or did we do something that we shouldn’t have?”
You shook your head, then shrugged once more. You didn’t want to speak to him, let alone be near him.
“Stevie, we were best friends before whatever happened this summer. Your dad just died, and you are like a closed off shell of what you used to be. Why won’t you just talk to me?” Jack pleaded, his eyes starting to water.
As badly as you wanted to explain your feelings, explain how you didn’t want to be one of those girls that he picks up whenever he wants just to throw them away, explain how you didn’t feel like you even compared to his previous girlfriends, or even explain how you fell in love with him, you chose not to.
Simply out of the fact you didn’t want to be one of those girls crying over the fact that Jack Hughes never loved them.
“I don’t want to talk Jack, at all. I just simply want to be alone,” You abruptly stood from the bench, pulling your sleeves over your hands. “Stop trying to get me to talk to you,”
You quickly walked back to your car, then slowed down once you realized he wasn’t following behind you. Once in the safety of your car, you broke down. Sobs racking your body during the whole drive back to your childhood home.
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The bar was practically empty at this point of the night. It was two in the morning and you were five drinks deep. It doesn’t seem like a lot, but due to your small tolerance of alcohol, it felt like a lot.
Your mind was running, thoughts swirling quickly through your brain. Frankly, you didn’t know why you haven’t just laid your feelings out on a silver platter to Jack.
You thought back to what he told you on the pier, and he was right. Your friendship had been deeply rooted into your life. It was wrong for you to shut him out like you’ve been. It was out of your own stubbornness, and now you were cursing yourself for it.
You sighed, fishing your phone out of your purse. You signaled for the bartender, asking for her to close you out.
“Hello?” Your brother’s tired voice grumbled through the phone. “Hey, I’m at Joe’s, can you come get me?” You slurred, your head resting against your hand.
“It’s literally two AM, are you serious?” Your brother continued to grumble, his voice becoming more annoyed. “Please?” You pleaded.
After a few moments, hearing him tap at his phone and the ruffling of his sheets. “Jack’s gonna be there in ten to come get you.” Your brother informed. “Stop being rude to him, by the way. He just wants to help.”
You heard the chime of the hang up sound, groaning to yourself. The bartender handed you the debit card that belonged to you, giving you a sincere smile.
After a little while, the door bell chimed, signaling that someone had entered.
“Stevie come on,” Jack muttered, standing behind you. You felt the tension, causing your less than sober state to fill with nerves. You slid off the bar stool, sulking as Jack led you to his car.
Once safety inside, Jack started the drive back.
“Why?” Jack asked, his focus on the road. “Why are you doing this to yourself again?”
“I don’t know, Jack,” You shrugged. Tears started to run down your face, regret filling your body due to your actions.
“You’ve shut me out once before, and you know how that makes me feel. I don’t know why you are doing it again.” Jack continued, his hands gripping onto the wheel tightly.
“I’m sorry, Jack” Your voice shuddered as you spoke, your eyes staring down at your hands.
“And I don’t know if you’ve just been acting like this because you are going through a lot right now, but I just wish you’d talk to me. And drinking — really Stevie — drinking? This is how you are going to work through your pain?”
“I-“ You stuttered, shrugging as you tried to finds words to speak.
“You don’t have to answer now, you’ve been drinking.” Jack stated, pulling into your driveway. You sat in the car, not sure of what to do or say.
“Can we talk tomorrow?” You asked, finally glancing over at him. Jack briefly glanced at you, letting out a sigh. “Yeah, just text me.” Jack replied, nodding. “Bye,” You quietly excused yourself, getting out of his car.
The rest of the night, you laid in bed, thinking of things to tell Jack tomorrow.
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Jack sat across from you, nursing a hot black coffee. Your head ached with a never ending headache due to your hangover. You sipped on a iced chai latte, silent.
"Tell me what's going on," Jack requested, breaking the heavy silence with a sentence that made your body flood with anxiety. You wished you never asked him to talk - but you decided that your since your trip was coming to an end soon - it was now or never. Never meaning you would lose your best friend for good.
You attempted to gather words in your brain, opening your mouth to speak but nothing would flow into coherent sentences.
"I really - do you regret this summer? Do you thing it changed anything?" You asked, your mouth running dry with your words.
Jack knit his brows together in confusion, quickly shaking his head. “No, I don’t regret it. Do you?” Jack leaned forward slightly, his voice quiet. “I don’t regret it, but something changed.” You spoke, eyes tearing away from his.
“What changed, Y/N?” Jack’s face flooded with worry. “Because if it’s something I can fix, I want to. I just want my best friend back, I just want you back in my life.”
“That’s the thing, Jack.”
“What? What’s the thing?” Jack’s voice was rushed, his eyes searching your face for any answers. He used to be able to read your expressions like an open book, but now it was like trying to read a locked diary.
“I can’t be your best friend anymore-“ You were quickly cut off.
“What the fuck? Why? Why can’t you be my friend anymore? Because we fucked? I mean, I can see how it would change things but I feel like it-“ You quickly cut him off in return.
“No, Jack. It’s because I fell in love with you.” You harshly stated, eyes quickly locking onto him. You could visibly see a wave of emotion rush over him.
Jack sat in silence, his brain swirling with many thoughts and questions. He was unsure of which one to ask first, to learn about. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
You scrunched your face, clasping your hands in your lap. “I’ve known you for how long, Jack? You’ve told me about every girl you’ve brought home, immediately knowing whether or not they’d be a quick hook-up or if it would be more. You’ve told me how many times you’ve ghosted girls over something small they did that threw you off.” You paused, sucking in a deep breath. “I didn’t want to be one of those girls.”
“You never were, Y/N. We have too much past to even make you remotely close to one of those girls.” Jack shook his head, disbelief flooding his brain. Did you really think that he would just drop you?
“Jack, be serious. If we didn’t have the past, if our families weren’t close friends, would I be one of those girls?” You asked, a stoic expression on your face.
Jack shook his head again. “Absolutely not. If you were one of those girls, Y/N, if I even remotely felt like treating you like those girls, you wouldn’t be sitting here right now. I wouldn’t have kept being around you all summer if you were one of those girls. You just — it was natural — it felt easy to be around you like that,” Jack explained, confessing thoughts in his head he never thought he’d say out loud.
“Why?”
“You are different. Your achievements are far different from how many Instagram followers you have, you have actual goals in life. You never thought of me as some fucking — as #1 draft pick with a 8.8 Million dollar contract — I’ve always just been Jack to you. I’ve always been the kid your parents forced you to hang out with. I’ve never been some celebrity in your brain. You make me feel different.” Jack let out a deep breath after his small speech, his eyes focused on you.
“Jack, I-“
“I’m not finished. You are in school, pursuing fucking politics, Y/N. You spend your nights studying instead of throwing back as much Pink Whitney as you can. Instead of posting sponsorships on social media, you post about your friends, family, achievements. I have always thought you were the smartest girl I’ve known. I always surrounded myself with girls different from you to try to convince myself that it wasn’t right to have feelings for you. Because you don’t deserve to be with a guy who won’t have a career in thirty years, who doesn’t even know what he’s going to do with his life in thirty years.” Jack ran a hand through his tousled hair, moving to anxiously fiddle with the strings to his hoodie.
“I think your monologue was longer than my final paper this semester, no offense.” You spoke, trying to ease the heavy mood. “I — uh — wow. That is a lot to process? Give me a second to think.” You spoke, thinking maybe Jack would actually let you think for a moment.
“Y/N, I’ve loved you since sophomore year of high school. That’s the whole point of that speech or whatever.” Jack stated quickly, clarifying his words.
“So, now what?” You asked, shrugging. “You go back to New Jersey, I go back to Maine, now what?”
“We figure it out. Because, Y/N, seriously. I’ve gone the past five months not speaking to you, and I really can’t go any longer.” Jack frowned, scratching at the small patches of stubble that had been growing.
“We figure it out?” You questioned, waiting for him to confirm his words.
“Yeah, I mean, we’ve figured out ways for you to come to New Jersey for like the past three years. I’m sure it won’t be any less harder, now. You have one semester left at college, then it’s up in the air, yeah? I think we’d be able to figure it out.” Jack nodded, feeling less suffocated that he had previously felt. “Only if you want to though.”
You, on the other hand, were still battling with your internal insecurities. Your lip was tucked between your teeth, biting at the dead skin. “I need to get some air, for a second.” You stood from the chair, heading outside the small coffee shop to think in peace for a moment.
You knew it wouldn’t be hard to figure out. And, you knew Jack would treat you right. He already did so much for you, as a friend. Sending you sweet messages when you were upset, ordering you uber eats when you were up all night studying, the signs were all green.
Yet, the lingering thought of if you were good enough still pounded into your brain like a headache.
You heard the door chime, not realizing they maybe you have been sitting outside for far too long. Jack stood on the side walk, a sad expression plastered on his face.
“Just let me know-“
You stood to your feet, rushing over to him. You placed you hands on his cheeks, planting your lips onto his. Jack hesitated, but soon his hands found your hips, squeezing.
“We’ll figure it out.” You mumbled, watching as his eyes flickered brightly.
“We will figure it out,” Jack nodded, pulling your body against his chest.
You were sure that Jack would do his best to navigate through his life, especially if you were by his side. You knew that Jack would treat you as best as he could, always ensuring you were happy with how the relationship was going. You knew Jack just as well as you knew yourself.
Maybe being back in Michigan wasn’t as bad as you thought it was.
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phoenixyfriend · 19 days
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Somewhere out there is an essay about superhero movies where villains co-opt, misuse, or even just misunderstand the language of the left to push methods and goals that are incompatible with the actual theory of the left, but that sound Right And Good to viewers who aren't thinking it through entirely. And the essay is not just about how they compare to each other, but how they are a litmus test for viewers to know how susceptible they are to propaganda.
Co-opt: Most obvious example and the inspiration for this post is the Riddler in Batman (2020, the one with RPatt). The Riddler recites leftist rhetoric about corruption, wealth hoarding, and redistribution, but his actual actions and goals are unrelated. He's an accelerationist who's more interested in tearing down a system that didn't benefit HIM than in actually rectifying the problems, and who cares if a few kids get traumatized or even killed along the way?
Misuse: Easy mode, this one's Thanos. He talks about ensuring there's enough for everyone to eat, but like. Bro.
Misunderstand: Erik Killmonger, who has the benefit of both some incredibly legitimate grievances and a pretty face, but also kind of fails at the idea of intersectionality, proportionality, or Start With Words Before You Escalate. He's the easiest to sympathize with, because he has some really good points and ultimately does appear to be legitimately pursuing those goals... but he's also a misogynist, jumped to international terrorism before "call up my cousin who doesn't know I exist," and there's something in there about the role played by his time in the US military, which gave him emotional trauma, head trauma, and a sincere belief in the validity of US-style insurgency operations based on hostile takeovers of inconvenient countries. He's charming and pretty and sincere... he's just also, in many ways, wrong. And the parts where he's right makes it easy to try to ignore the bits where he's wrong if you're predisposed to like him and prefer some absolutism.
Anyway, yeah, there are definitely other examples, but the ones that were suggested to me didn't quite vibe with the base idea (Mysterio and Vulture both had disgruntled union moments in the MCU, but they left those roots so quickly that I don't think the concept of using leftist rhetoric as cover/justification for the crimes really applies since, they very quickly shift gears into revenge and greed respectively).
Someone's probably done this better orz.
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yanderestarangel · 7 months
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Imagine giving the Lin Kuei trio such good head they start crying like UGHH
𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐊𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐌𝐊1 | 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐎 𝐋𝐈𝐍 𝐊𝐔𝐄𝐈 | 𝐌!𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍
TW: overstimulation, ball massage, blowjob, praise kink, pet names, dacryphilia, sub!bi han, sub!tomas, sub!kuai liang, gn reader.
A/N: this request made me smile sincerely, thank you anon <3
ღ ୭·࣭࣪̇˖ Do you want to make me a request? read my pinned post.
⸺❥ BI HAN
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He is very sensitive on the topic: blowjobs, even though he is an extremely dominant man, blowjobs or anything that involves your mouth on his body... he will grunt and moan loudly, but not to the point of crying, but if you know how to pull his right on his buttons, he's going to become a shaking, crying mess, so a morning blowjob would be the best thing to make him lose control, see you between his legs first thing in the morning, his cock hard and pulsing, demanding attention while you sucked him, running your warm and wet tongue over each exposed vein on his member, stimulating him even more. He wouldn't even waste time, immediately pulling your head even more towards his cock, but it wasn't in a dominant way like other times, but rather a desperate high to have even more contact with you, his hips lifted slightly in a desperate rhythm, a few tears could be seen on his eyelashes, he really didn't want to cry, but you were sucking him so well, he couldn't even stop himself from crying and whimpering as he shook, feeling a familiar tightness in his core.
"-F-Fuuck... fuck I fucking love your mouth... I fucking love you." -Bi Han whimpered and moaned loudly, his hard cock was pulsing in your mouth, while you added a massage to his balls, making Bi Han start to moan and whimper louder, his face was flushed, loose hair messy as he begged to cum. "-Fucking hell (Y/N) just let me cum, fuck, I want to cum..." He soon hissed, you had never seen him so vulnerable and submissive, but there he was, the great grandmaster, moaning and crying like a little slut for a blowjob. "-Just don't stop, don't stop until I cum, please" -Bi Han whimpered again, as he pushed your head further onto his dick, the tip of his dick head hit your throat a few times, as he tried to hold back his moans and tears, soon cumming with a loud, hoarse scream, tense muscles and a sweaty body, his face was a flushed, crying mess just like you wanted.
⸺❥TOMAS VRBADA
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He already cries naturally during sex. Seriously, Tomas is an extremely vocal and emotional man, his pleasure is in letting you know that he is receiving pleasure, and how good you make him feel - even if he tries to hold back, he can't - so if you wake him up between his legs, with his morning wood completely in your mouth, he will go crazy with pleasure. Vrbada will release rhythmic and soft moans at first, moving his hips slightly in your hot and wet cavity, looking for even more contact, he will try to restrain himself slightly because it's still morning and he doesn't want to wake up his brothers, but damn, you woke him up giving such a good head, he just wanted to scream and cry... And that's what he started to do.
Tomas placed one of his hands on your head, lightly guiding your movements, timid tears were already beginning to fall, the previously soft moans were now becoming louder and more primal every moment, with him crying and sobbing for not containing his pleasure you were giving him. "-Good job, honey. I’m so proud of you, you’re perfect.” -Tomas spoke between heavy and irregular breaths, his blue eyes look at you, focused on yours, heavy with tears that accumulated under his orbs, he opened and closed his lips with vulnerable and submissive sounds, a bodily request for you to continue, he You wouldn't even wipe the tears away, letting them fall all over his face, he trembled and grabbed the sheets beneath him, rolling his head back when you focused on the tip of his dick, in back and forth movements, making his veins swell with growing desire and need to cum, he was already a crying and needy mess, echoing through the walls and waking up the whole house. "-Please let me cum, I'm yours, I'm your good boy, please (Y/N) Please it's all I need, I just need it!" -He spoke loudly, his voice choked with immeasurable pleasure, he pushed his hips hard into your mouth, making you choke, and he loved that, grabbing your face with both hands, and giving one last desperate blow, releasing thick jets of cum into you, while he trembled and writhed. "-I love you more than anything, you make me feel so good..."
⸺❥KUAI LIANG
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He's a Dom by nature, loving to control you and watch you beg to cum, but this time you were making him feel so good that Kuai Liang couldn't stop himself from surrendering to the submission of giving himself to you, working and worshiping cock of him after a tiring day at work is the thing that would make Kuai whimper as he saw you on your knees, taking his length in your mouth, you alternated between the tip of his cock and running your tongue over his hot shaft, you could swear you saw tears started to stain his eyelashes, one of his hands was on his waist, while the other was massaging your face, his voice was softer than usual, he was starting to break down and you knew it.
"-Do you know how many men would kill to be me right now?" -Kuai spoke in a hoarse voice, soon starting to whimper and cry when he felt you go deeper with his cock in your mouth, exploring the soft corners of your cheeks and taking his cock out to hit your tongue, placing it quickly inside your mouth again, letting you dictate the pace, he was at your mercy, your mercy, and he loved every second of it. "-Do you know how good at this you are? That feels so fucking good, keep going, you're doing great my love." -Kuai said, already crying, tears ran down his face, painting his cheeks, while he felt the familiar tightness in his balls, looking you in the eyes while his muscular thighs were already shaking, having difficulty keeping themselves steady on the floor. "-Why do you affect me like this?... I just... Fuck... Holy shit (Y/N)..." -He moaned hoarsely, while shaking loudly and closing his eyes with his lips open in pleasure, thirsting for desire and letting you control him, his hand left your face, falling on the sides of his body, while he watched you work so well with his mouth, he didn't even warn you that time, just cumming amid loud cries in your mouth.
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©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023
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hey maggots PLEASE CALM DOWN ONE MOMENT PRESS CONFERENCE.
Okay. Have we stopped screaming? Okay, nice. *taps mic* Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your--I mean, hi, Good Omens fandom and maggots. I was going to make a new intro post eventually, but after you all flattened my notes with eldritch screeching I think a press conference is more fitting. Especially considering the phrasing of these beauties:
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Maggots I love you but look me in the eyes and tell me you're not journalists reporting straight to the Times, with full honesty. You cannot. The how do you feel about this is only missing several microphones with news outlet names all in my face and that's wonderful. Entirely valid. Press conference time it is.
First, for those of you who do not need a Q and A, a quick note: Um hello maggots, yes I am still grieving, cheers to the people who queued sad Good Omens posts for the exact time I finished watching. That is dedication, truly, to torturing your mascot. A most sincere fuck you to all of those kind folks.
Next, Neil, thank you for showcasing my madness. I barely remember making that updated post. It was 2 am and I tried to convince myself it was a bad idea. So of course I did it anyway and now I am staring in horror at how unhinged I have revealed myself to be. You picked the most perfectly awful time to delve into the fray. I raise my glass to you.
Alright. For everyone else who is utterly confused and/or has just entered this madness, below is the press conference you have instigated, my loves.
You: ASMI WAKE UP NEIL REBLOGGED YOU. Me: I'M AWAKE I PROMISE THANK YOU ALL THE TWENTY ODD PEOPLE WHO SHOUTED FOR ME TO WAKE UP, YES I WAS NAPPING. BUT I AM AWAKE. IT IS DIFFICULT NOT TO BE. You: HOW DOES IT FEEL BEING LESS THAN A MONTH IN THE FANDOM AND-- Me: I was kidnapped, so with the blindfold and all the ropes, I'll be honest, I lost track of time. It could have been less than a month. *stares into distance* It could have been eighty years since Jan 4th 2024. You: YOU'RE AN ADOPTIVE MAGGOT. Me: Now hang on one second y'all you're stealing my term. I coined maggots to describe all the people, in the Good Omens fandom or otherwise, who kidnapped me or followed me or watched me descend into madness. Why? Because I was made the Mascot of the fandom, and Maggot sounded like Mascot. Kind of. I didn't know at that time that there was a bloody maggot scene in Good Omens. I also didn't know that apparently in the Bible, Bildad the Shuite calls mortals 'maggots'. But either way. I'm the adopted mascot. And the adopted child of divorce. You: If people who follow you or watch your descent are maggots, does that make Neil a maggot? Me: Uh okay I've got this question several times. @neil-gaiman, Neil I'm sorry, I'm going to pass this question to you. You are free to reply or not as you choose. *hands one of the mics over* You: ARE YOU OKAY, ASMI? Me: THANK YOU FOR CHECKING IN. *clutches Crowley even closer* NO I AM BLOODY NOT. I'M ON DAY FOUR OF GRIEVING AFTER THE SECOND SEASON. ANY MENTION OF POTTED PLANTS MAKES ME EMOTIONAL. THE GOOD OMENS BOOK IS ARRIVING TODAY IN THE MAIL, THANKS JEFF BEZOS FOR AMAZON. OH WAIT AMAZON IS THE STREAMER FOR GOOD OMENS. THANKS BEZOS AGAIN. IF I HEAR THE WORDS RITZ, EDINBURGH, PLANT, RED, BLACK, DEMON, HELL, STARS, CONSTELLATIONS, ESPRESSO, I WILL START TO UGLY CRY. *SHOVES MICS ASIDE, RUNS THROUGH THE CROWD TO GO SOB IN A CORNER ABOUT CROWLEY IN EDINBURGH NEXT TO ELSPETH AND WEE MORAG UNTIL THE GOOD OMENS BOOK ARRIVES AND I CRY OVER MY BABY ANTICHRIST AS WELL*
Cheers everyone conference over because your poor Good Omens Mascot is currently incapacitated with grief goodbye I'm sure you understand--
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sneepseverus · 1 month
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Stages of Snape Falling in Love
I had this post sitting in my drafts for a few months and decided to finally finish it. Feel free to add your own thoughts hehe
He's vaguely interested in them as a person.
This feeling is extremely rare for him; most people give him the ick, whether it's considered justified or not. Perhaps they talk too loudly while standing right next to him, chew with their mouth open, are too energetic for him, or are just generally unlikable. Even if they don't have a particularly negative trait, they probably aren't special enough for him to care about.
But then comes along that one person who's actually pleasant to be around. They are aware of their surroundings, humble or at least confident without being cocky, don't push him to engage in small talk or meaningless social interactions, and are overall a decent human being.
At this point, Snape doesn't know much about them other than the fact that they aren't insufferable, but he finds himself staring at them from a distance and listening to their conversations with others without engaging with them one-on-one.
Of course, he would never admit to himself that he sort of, kind of, maybe likes them and instead ignores these feelings.
He becomes irritated by their mere presence.
Maybe they laugh a little too sweetly, maybe they smile a bit too brightly, maybe they're overly kind to everyone they meet, maybe they share the same sense of dry, sarcastic humor, maybe they are highly knowledgeable in a certain field, maybe they're just too perfect! They really need to fucking tone down the likableness for him. It's irrational, but he doesn't know this yet because everything he does is logical, right?
He comes up with excuses and tries to find their faults instead because no one can be perfect. If they trip, they're clumsy and don't pay enough attention. If they need help with something, they're incompetent. If they're kind to everyone they meet, they're naive. If they put effort into their appearance, they're shallow.
Or if they're exactly like him, then he hates them because, well, he hates himself.
Somehow, he realizes he's wrong and tries to make things right.
If he is called out for being too judgmental or makes them upset, he actually feels terrible. He sits at his desk alone, trying to complete work, but he can only think about how much he hurt them.
If he never actually did anything to them, he would eventually come to his senses and still feel like an ass for thinking negatively of them.
Either way, he would would apologize for giving them the cold shoulder (it wouldn't sound very emotional, but it would certainly be sincere), and he would learn to be more patient with them.
He greets them when they pass by each other and finds that he actually likes talking to them. He normally doesn't like small talk, but he enjoys hearing the sound of their voice. If they share similar interests, he would have long talks with them without realizing how much time has passed. At this point, though, he doesn't think too much about his feelings and simply believes he's being cordial.
His thoughts become completely occupied with this person.
All of a sudden, he finds himself thinking about them, especially when they aren't around. He's very observant and can easily imagine them and their idiosyncrasies even if they aren't right in front of him. He tries to focus on whatever he is doing at hand, but they still manage to slip into his mind. "Why am I thinking about them so much?" he wonders. "They're just an acquaintance!" Deep down he knows he likes them, but he's so in denial he won't even consider that he may.
When he realizes he's thinking about them when they are around, he feels as though he just committed a crime.
He even begins to have dreams about his crush (a word he would never use to describe his feelings, but let's be honest; he has a crush!).
He tries to avoid them out of fear of being overbearing, but his efforts backfire.
The thing is, he wouldn't like someone unless they showed some level of interest in the first place. So if he tries to avoid them, they'll end up finding a way back to him.
If they're a colleague, they drag him out of his office to share a meal or have a conversation, no matter how "busy" he claims to be.
If they met him outside of Hogwarts, they send him a letter asking him where he is and if he would like to catch up.
Of course, he can't say no, so he accepts their invitations to spend time together.
Despite already being somewhat close, he's incredibly nervous. He fears that they can somehow read his thoughts, even though he's a highly skilled Occlumens and always maintains a stoic expression. He finds it difficult to maintain eye contact because if he stares too long and too deeply, he knows he'll let his guard down. He's not ready for them to even wonder if he has romantic feelings.
Eventually, he reaches his breaking point.
He can no longer deny it. He likes them. Now, there are a few ways this could happen.
They touch him. Accidentally or intentionally. Maybe it's a light brush against his arm. Maybe it's a hug. He's so touch-starved that any sort of physical contact will make his heart burst out of his chest and fall to the ground.
They confess to him. "Severus, I've really enjoyed the time we've been spending together. I like you," they reveal. It leaves him speechless. He'll get back to them in 5-7 business days.
If the feelings are one-sided, then it may be a bit harder for him to realize where his heart lies. But something about their smile, their laugh, their sense of humor, or just anything that is so characteristically them makes him finally understand that yes, he does like them.
Even though he wouldn't know how to proceed, it feels like a weight has lifted off his shoulders. He can finally admit to himself that he does have warm feelings for this person. And it makes a lot of sense! There is no one else who gives him the same level of grace, patience, understanding, and friendship. At this point, it's so much more than a simple crush. "Is this what love feels like?" he asks himself. Instinctively, he thinks, "Yes." The "rational" side of him tries to tell himself that it's not, but he ends up ignoring that part of him. He finally lets himself feel and admits to himself that he's in love.
Now, what happens after? Well, that's a post for another time.
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cre8inghavoc · 10 days
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What are friends for?
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PT. 10
Status: ongoing!!
Updates: no set date.
WC: 5318
Pairing: megumi fushiguro x FEM!reader
Genre/Warnings:[18+] Characters are aged up. This story contains toxic boyfriend, cursing, name calling, self-doubt/hate, angst, breaking up, post-breakup, alcohol, drug use, drunk moments, new friends, dating!au, college!au, no curses!au, dark humour, dark jokes. SMAU.Smut.
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Recap:
But before you can fully come down from your high, someone starts knocking on the bathroom door, jolting you back to reality. Your eyes widen in alarm, realizing the precarious situation you're in.
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You both freeze, locking eyes, you can't help but notice the difference in both your reactions. While he appears as if he gives no fucks about the knocking, you're hit with a wave of anxiety at the thought of being caught, especially by your friends. You don’t know exactly why you're keeping whatever's going on between you and Megumi a secret from them. Maybe it's the idea of avoiding their inevitable questions, even though you could easily make something up. But the idea of lying to your friends doesn't sit right with you. Sure, keeping things from them for now is one thing, but lying about something like that specifically to their faces and dealing with the fallout later feels wrong. A swirl of thoughts and emotions consumes you, possibly caused by the alcohol's lingering influence or maybe just the weight of the moment, who knows? But It's a real gut punch when you realize that you've been keeping secrets from your friends for a while now, and not just about this particular situation with Megumi. 
You think back to events with your ex, things you did, things he made you do.
You start to question yourself. Were you really trying to spare your friends' feelings, or were you just trying to shield yourself from potential judgement and rejection?  Because you were afraid. Afraid of being judged, the worry of embarrassing yourself, the constant nagging doubt about whether your friends would still accept you if they knew the truth—it's all there, gnawing at you. You suddenly feel the weight of your own actions crashing down on you. You've been living in fear, trapped in a cycle of hiding parts of yourself to avoid facing uncomfortable truths.
You have a feeling that Megumi can see your growing anxiety, noticing the way you fiddle with the ring on your finger and start to nervously bite your lower lip as you drift into deep thought. He gently places a hand on your waist, pulling you closer as he whispers in your ear, "Hey, just breathe. It's okay, there's nothing to panic about." 
"But what if it's our friends... what do we do then?" you ask nervously. 
"We'll just stay in here for a little longer until they leave”
“But we won't know when they will leave," you point out, your nerves still on edge.
He holds his gaze on you a little longer, sensing that the person at the door isn't the sole reason for your anxiety. There's something deeper brewing beneath the surface, something he can feel but can't quite put into words.
You nervously chew on the inside of your cheek, a habit you can't seem to shake, and he picks up on it immediately. Sensing your unease, he gently turns you around to face him. "What's wrong?" he asks, his voice laced with concern.
"Just scared if someone catches us, that's all," you reply, attempting to brush off your deeper worries.
"No, that's not all. I can tell there's something else," he observes perceptively.
Shit. 
"No, I'm okay," you insist, forcing a smile.
"You know you're not very convincing, right?" he counters, his expression softening into a gentle smile. "Seriously, y/n... You can talk to me, you know? I'm here for you."
Your smile turns genuine as you express your gratitude. "Thanks, Megumi," you say sincerely. "It's nothing, really... I'm okay!" Despite your attempt to reassure him, a part of you knows that the unease lingering within won't be easily dismissed.
Just as Megumi was about to speak, the sound of heels walking away from the door interrupted the moment which you both took as an opportunity to slip away unnoticed. Thankfully, the dim lighting and the frenetic energy of the dance floor provided cover for your exit. 
As Megumi took your hand and guided you out of the club, a rush of conflicting emotions surged through you—excitement at being with him, mixed with the nervousness. However, luck wasn't on your side, as your absence from the group didn't go unnoticed. Their curious glances caught you leaving with someone, they just assumed he was just some guy you'd met there since they couldn’t see his face.
As you stepped outside, your phone buzzed incessantly with messages from your group chat.
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“Y/n!!! Who’s that guy you’re with 👀” - Maki
“Are you leaving without telling us?!” - Toge
“No fr, she actually full-on left-“ - Yuta
“Y/n got rizzzz 😏” - Itadori
“Whoooo Y/n!!! Get it, girl!” - Nobara
“You better be safe tho 😒.” - Maki 
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A giggle escapes your lips as you read through the messages, realizing that your friends have no idea it's Megumi, they think you're going to hook up with some random guy. The absurdity of the situation lightens the tension, and you can't help but find humour in their assumptions. 
You slip your phone back into your pocket and follow Megumi to his car, where he politely opens the door for you before getting in the driver's seat. "Where are we going?" you inquire, a sweet tone lacing your words.
"A spot I know," he replies cryptically, his hand finding its way to rest on your thigh. Your heart flutters at his touch—there's something about it that just feels right. You can't help but revel in the warmth and comfort it brings.
The two of you share easy conversation and listen to music for the rest of the drive through the city streets. Finally, you arrive at the spot he mentioned, greeted by the breathtaking view of the city skyline.
"Wow... how'd you even find this place? It's beautiful," you exclaim, your eyes drinking in the captivating view before you.
Megumi leans back, a hint of nostalgia in his eyes. "I used to come here often," he confesses. "It's the kind of place I'd escape to, you know, when I needed to clear my head." His words carry a weight of past memories, hinting at the depth of his emotions and the significance of this spot to him.
You turn to face him, curiosity mingled with a hint of sadness in your gaze. "Escape... from what? If you don't mind me asking, of course," you inquire gently, sensing there's more to his story than meets the eye.
“Not something I can easily talk about…”
As Megumi's words hang in the air, you're left staring at him, a mix of disappointment and understanding washing over you. You glance down at your lap, lost in thought, trying to piece together what he might be hiding.
"Not sober at least..." he adds, his tone calm yet cryptic. Your head shoots up in shock and confusion, your eyes widening as you take in the wrap of weed in his hand. 
“Megu-” Before you can voice your protest or confusion, he interrupts you with a commanding tone.
"Open your mouth," he instructs.
"What are y-" you begin to ask, but he cuts you off again. 
"Open," he commands once more, his voice leaving no room for argument, and his gaze unwavering. You hesitate for a moment, unsure of what to do, but knowing Megumi well enough to understand that resistance is futile. You have no choice but to comply, you open your mouth obediently. 
“Tongue.” He moves the blunt to your tongue, instructing you to wet it.
As you stick out your tongue, you comply with his instruction, moistening the tip as he requested. Your eyes lock with Megumi's, the air between you crackles with intensity as you maintain eye contact, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the space between you. It feels as if time slows down, allowing you to fully immerse yourself in the electric energy that pulses between you. Once done, you pull away, returning your tongue to your mouth. With practiced ease, Megumi rolls the blunt between his fingers, expertly crafting it into shape. The scent of the weed fills the air, adding to the charged atmosphere inside the car. He rolls down the window, allowing a gentle breeze to filter into the car. Leaning back against his seat, he brings the blunt to his lips, inhaling deeply. The smoke swirls around him as he holds his breath for a moment before exhaling slowly, releasing a cloud of smoke into the night air. Megumi's expression is relaxed, his gaze distant into the city. 
As you watch Megumi take another hit from the blunt, your mind wanders to the reasons behind his choice to smoke weed. What led him to this point? What prompted him to start in the first place? But before you can dwell on these thoughts for too long, his question snaps you back to reality.
"Wanna hit?" he offers, gesturing the blunt towards you. You hesitate, contemplating his offer. "Oh, uh... I've never smoked a spliff before," you admit, feeling a hint of embarrassment.
He chuckles at your response. "But you've had edibles?" he questions, amusement evident in his tone.
"Yeah... and a pen, but never a blunt," you confess, feeling a bit out of your element.
"That's crazy," he laughs softly. Then, his tone shifts slightly as he asks, "What made you start? If you don't mind me asking."
You pause, considering his question. It's not one you've been asked often or at all really, and you're kinda surprised by the sudden seriousness in his voice. Taking a moment to gather your thoughts, you decide to open up to him, trusting him enough to share a piece of yourself.
“I’d have to take a few hits first” You giggle nervously, feeling a bit apprehensive about taking your first hit from a blunt. Megumi smirks, amused by your response, and offers you the blunt.
"Just inhale as much as you can and hold it for a bit. It might burn a little," he advises, his tone casual yet reassuring. You bring the blunt to your lips and inhale, feeling the smoke fill your lungs. It's harsher than you expected, and you cough slightly as you hold the smoke in, trying to follow Megumi's instructions. 
You exhale and between coughs, you manage to speak, your voice slightly raspy. "You said it'll burn a bit," you joke, trying to lighten the mood despite your coughing fit.
Megumi chuckles at your reaction, finding amusement in your discomfort. "Yeah, just a bit," he replies teasingly, his laughter echoing in the car.
As you take a few more hits from the blunt, the effects of the weed start to kick in, a warm sensation spreading through your body. Your eyes begin to feel heavy, and you can feel a familiar buzz settling in.
After a moment, you pass the blunt back to Megumi, your movements feeling slightly sluggish as the high takes hold. The world around you seems to slow down, colours becoming more vivid and sounds more pronounced. Despite the initial discomfort, you find yourself settling into the feeling, embracing the sense of relaxation and euphoria that washes over you. Megumi accepts the blunt with a knowing smile, understanding the shift in your demeanour as the effects of the weed take hold. 
As you meet Megumi's gaze, you can sense the unspoken question lingering between you, the curiosity etched into his expression. With a deep breath, you gather your thoughts, knowing that he deserves an honest answer.
"It's nothing too serious... I've always just had anxiety," you begin, your voice soft but steady. "And my ex... he started doing drugs with his friends. It started off simple with marijuana, but then it escalated to heavier stuff. He always tried to get me to do it too, but I never did. Which, looking back, I'm glad for."
You pause, the memories of your past relationship stirring up a mix of emotions within you. "We got into this big fight... such a stupid fight," you continue, your voice tinged with bitterness. "He called me names, said I'm useless and dumb, and made it seem like every 'bad' thing was because of my anxiety. He made me believe it was all me, that I was the problem."
Your words spill out in a rush, a torrent of pent-up frustrations and regrets. "Whenever he would lie or cheat, he'd gaslight me and blame it on my overthinking or some other stupid excuse," you admit, your voice trembling with emotion. "He made me at least try marijuana with him, and then... it just became a habit. Every time we would fight or my anxiety would get bad, I would just get high. It was like... a way to escape reality, a way to escape him."
You pause, your throat tight with emotion. "I got drawn to it... felt like I had to constantly be high so I didn't have to deal with life or give too many shits about it," you confess, your voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe it was a way to numb the pain, to forget about everything that was wrong in my life. I don't know... but it became an addiction, and I couldn't break free from it."
You fall silent, your words hanging in the air like a heavy weight. "Sorry... I'm just rambling now," you add, feeling a sense of vulnerability wash over you. But despite the fear of judgement, you're grateful for the opportunity to open up to Megumi, to share a piece of yourself with someone who truly cares.
"Y/n... I'm sorry you went through that," he says softly, his voice filled with sincerity and compassion. His words resonate with you, offering solace in a moment of vulnerability. 
You meet his gaze, feeling a sense of gratitude well up within you. "And don't apologize for opening up to me, angel," he continues, his voice gentle yet firm. "I'm glad you told me."
As Megumi speaks, his words wash over you like a soothing balm, offering comfort and understanding in a way you hadn't expected. They remind you that you're not alone in your struggles, offering a beacon of hope in the darkness of your past. You feel a warmth spread through you as he leans in slightly, his hand moving to gently stroke your cheek. His touch is tender, a gesture of empathy and support that helps to ease the tension coiled within you. You lean into his touch, a sense of gratitude wells up within you, grateful for the understanding and support he offers you.
You lean in closer to Megumi's face, a surge of boldness overtakes you, perhaps fueled by the combination of alcohol and weed. All you can think about is the need to feel his lips on yours, to experience the sweetness of his kiss. Closing the distance between you, your lips meet his in a soft, tentative touch at first, before the kiss deepens into a passionate embrace. Time seems to stand still as you lose yourself in the intoxicating sensation of being close to him.
Everything else fades away—the worries, the doubts, the fears. All that matters is the intoxicating sensation of being lost in each other, of sharing a moment of intimacy and connection. And as you melt into his embrace, you realize that this is where you belong, in his arms, wrapped up in the warmth of his love.
In a bold and spontaneous move, you find yourself getting out of your seat and straddling Megumi's lap in the driver's seat. It happens so smoothly, almost as if your body is acting on instinct rather than conscious thought. As you settle onto his lap, you feel a rush of adrenaline coursing through you, mingled with a sense of exhilaration at your own daring.
Placing your hands on his chest, you look into his eyes, a mischievous glint dancing in your gaze. Megumi's surprise is evident in his expression, his eyes widening slightly at your unexpected move. He hadn't anticipated you being so bold, and for a moment, he's taken aback by your sudden closeness.
Megumi's right hand settles on your waist, his touch is electrifying, sending a jolt of warmth coursing through you. Meanwhile, his other hand holds the blunt out of the slightly opened window. You meet his gaze as he slowly trails his eyes over your body. You lean towards his hand holding the blunt, allowing him to guide it towards your mouth. As the blunt hovers before your lips, you take a deep inhale, the smoke filling your lungs with a heady rush.
Once you're done, you pull back slightly, meeting Megumi's gaze and lean in to kiss him, exhaling the smoke into his mouth as your lips meet. It's a heady mix of passion and smoke, the taste of him mingling with the scent of weed.
A smirk forms on Megumi's lips as he savours the moment, his hand still resting on your waist. With a gentle pressure, he draws you closer, deepening the kiss as the intensity between you grows.
You slowly trail your hand down his chest until it rests over his clothed erection. The contact sends a jolt of desire coursing through both of you.
"F-fuck, angel..." he groans out, his voice thick with need and desire. The sensation of your touch drives him wild.
"Not here..." he manages to say, his voice heavy with desire. But you meet his gaze with a playful smile, moving your hand over his clothed cock in a teasing manner.
"Why nottt?" you counter, tilting your head slightly to the side and biting your bottom lip with a mischievous grin. 
Feeling his growing arousal beneath your touch, you tease him further by placing one hand on his waistband while the other moves over his hardened cock. 
"Fuck, you're making it so hard to resist..." he breathes out, his head tilting back slightly in pleasure.
"Then don't resist," you murmur, your voice dripping with desire, as you begin to slowly move your hand in his waistband. But before you can fully proceed, you feel his hand move from your waist to grab your wrist, his grip tightens around you with a firmness that sends a shiver down your spine. His touch is possessive, yet there's a hint of restraint in his hold, as if he's struggling to contain his desire.
"Not here," he says again, his voice filled with urgency and restraint. 
As his words ground you back to reality, you nod in agreement, understanding the need for discretion in the moment. With a sense of reluctance, you withdraw your hands and slide off of his lap, returning to the passenger seat.
He returns his hand on your thigh, a silent gesture of reassurance and connection, before passing you the blunt. You accept it gratefully, taking a few hits as he starts the car and drives back to his place. Rolling down the window, you let the summer night breeze wash over you, mingling with the euphoric effects of the weed and the music playing softly in the background. In that moment, everything feels peaceful, as if the worries and stresses of the world have melted away.
"It really does suck that being high makes you feel this way," you mutter to yourself, the words slipping out almost unconsciously. Despite the temporary escape it provides, you can't shake the underlying unease that comes with relying on substances for relief. 
Megumi hears your words, a flicker of understanding passing through his eyes, but he remains silent knowing he's no better when it comes to drugs.
In the quiet of the car ride, you both dwell on your own thoughts, each grappling with your own past pains. 
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As Megumi steps out of the car and opens the door for you, his gentle gesture speaks volumes. Taking his hand, you feel a sense of comfort and connection as he helps you out of the car. With your fingers intertwined, he leads you up the stairs to his front door.
The click of the lock echoes as Megumi unlocks the front house door, ushering you inside. A shared sense of relief washes over you both as you step into the familiar surroundings of his home, relieved that your friends aren't here yet to interrupt this moment of peace and privacy.
As soon as you both step inside, Megumi wastes no time. With a swift movement, he shuts the door behind you and then slams his lips onto yours, catching you off guard with his sudden passion. A soft moan escapes your lips as he presses you against the door, his body urgent against yours. His hands move with purpose over your body, igniting a primal desire within you. Responding to his passion, you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as you deepen the kiss.
Your smile against his lips only adds fuel to the fire of desire between you. With ease, Megumi lifts you up, and you wrap your legs around him, feeling a rush of excitement as his hands grip your ass, holding you close.
You giggle softly as he carries you upstairs to his room, enjoying the playful moment together. He shuts the bedroom door with a simple move before gently placing you on the bed. Meeting his gaze, his smirk makes your heart race.
"You're so fucking beautiful," he murmurs, his words making you blush. You glance away bashfully, feeling the heat of his gaze on you.
“But you'd look better with this off” 
Before you can fully process, he's already moving, sliding your dress up and off completely, leaving you exposed to his hungry eyes. His lustful gaze sends shivers down your spine as he takes in every inch of your body.
"God... fucking shit, you don’t know what you’re doing to me," he groans, his desire evident. Without hesitation, he removes your panties, and with a sense of urgency, Megumi eagerly dives in, his mouth on your pussy, his tongue exploring every inch with fervour. He's desperate to taste you, to feel you unravel beneath his touch. His sole focus is making you feel good, making you reach your high, wanting nothing more than to feel you cum all over his face.
The sensation of his tongue against you sends waves of pleasure coursing through your body. You arch your back, moaning in ecstasy as he works his magic, his eagerness evident in every movement. He’s desperate in wanting you to finish fast, to lose yourself in the pleasure he's giving you, Not just because he wants you to feel good, but because he can't hold back any longer... he wants you. No, he needs you.
He's yearning for your touch. His longing is so intense, you can almost feel it radiating from him. He just wants to feel you close, to be wrapped up in the warmth of your embrace, to experience that raw connection between you two. 
He's doing his best to restrain himself, but you make it so fucking hard by the way you look at him, by the way you’re pulling on his hair and grinding your hips against his mouth. Each noise, each moan that escapes your lips, each tug on his hair, sends a jolt of desire straight to his core. 
He slides two fingers into your pussy, curling them up to hit that sweet spot, feeling the urgency building inside him. He needs you to finish, he can’t take it anymore.
"Oh fuck, Gumi, I'm gonna cum," you moan, feeling the pressure building to an unbearable level.
"Fuck, angel, cum for me, yeah?" he groans, his movements becoming faster and more intense.
With his encouragement, you reach the peak of ecstasy, your body convulsing as waves of pleasure wash over you, releasing everything you've been holding back.
As he swiftly removes his pants and boxers, you gaze down in awe at his impressive length. Your eyes widen in shock at the sight of him-so big, so perfect. His dick is long, thick, with a slight upward curve, and it's enough to make your mouth water.
Unable to resist, you reach out and stroke his length, eliciting a deep moan of pleasure from him as he tilts his head back. Using his pre-cum as lubricant, you continue to stroke him, relishing in the sensation of his hardness in your hand.
"Tell me what you want, angel," he breathes out, his voice heavy with desire.
"I just want to make you feel good," you reply softly, your own desire evident in your voice.
"Yeah?" he groans again, his arousal evident as you continue to stroke him.
"Is there anything I can do to make you feel even better?" you ask, biting your lip in anticipation.
As you guide his tip to your entrance, he looks down at you with a smirk. "Oh, you're such a tease, babe," he remarks, his tone playful.
You smile back at him, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness coursing through you.
"You sure?" he asks, his concern evident in his gaze.
All you can do is bite your lower lip and nod, your heart pounding in anticipation.
With your agreement, he slowly pushes his tip into your entrance, watching your facial expression closely for any sign of discomfort.
"If you change your mind, just let me know, kay? I won't be mad, I promise," he says softly, stroking your cheek gently.
"Okay," you manage to mutter as you feel his length enter you, a wave of pleasure washing over you.
You moan as his dick stretches you out, a mixture of pain and pleasure coursing through you with each inch he pushes inside you.
"Fuck, baby, you really are so tight," he moans in pleasure, his voice filled with admiration.
You moan even louder as he continues to stretch you out further, the sensation overwhelming yet intoxicating.
"Takin’ me so well. Think you can take more, baby?" he asks, his desire evident in his voice.
Unable to form proper words, you simply nod your head, your body craving more of him.
He pushes in deeper, until his full length is buried inside you, and then he pauses, giving you a moment to adjust to his size.
"Are you feeling okay, angel?" he asks, concern evident in his voice as he gazes into
your eyes.
"Yes, can you please start moving... I need you," you reply, your desire evident in your voice after finally adjusting to his size.
"Anything you want," he says with a smirk, his eagerness to please you evident in his tone.
He begins to slowly thrust his hips back and forth, each movement sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body.
"Holy shit, you feel so good, angel," he groans, his voice filled with ecstasy.
You moan in response, the sensation of his dick moving inside you driving you wild with desire.
"Fuck- more, Gumi," you plead, wanting him to pick up the pace.
"Yeah? You want more?" he asks, his voice husky with desire as he speeds up his movements, eliciting even louder moans from you.
"Take it," he commands, lost in the pleasure of the moment, and you find yourself getting even wetter from his words alone.
"Fuck, you're so wet for me," he murmurs, his head falling to the crook of your neck as you tangle your hand in his hair, lost in the intensity of your connection.
"Oh fuck, Gumiii," you moan out, lost in the pleasure of his movements.
"Good fucking girl," he praises, his words driving you even wilder as he continues to increase his pace.
His dick curves perfectly to hit your spot, sending shivers of pleasure coursing through your body with each thrust. Your breathing becomes rapid as he continues to hit that sweet spot that drives you crazy, making it hard for you to hold back.
"Fuck, right there, yes!" you cry out in ecstasy, unable to contain your pleasure.
"You like when I fuck you like that, huh, angel?" he asks, his hand moving to your clit and rubbing fast circles on it, intensifying your pleasure even further.
"Oh, yes!" you moan louder, the sensation of his fingers combined with his thrusts pushing you closer and closer to the edge of bliss.
He smirks at your response, his movements becoming even more relentless as he focuses on driving you over the edge of ecstasy. With every thrust, he hits that perfect spot inside you, sending waves of pleasure radiating through your body.
Your moans grow louder, your body trembling with each touch and stroke. The combination of his deep thrusts and the sensation of his fingers on your clit pushes you closer to the brink of orgasm.
"Fuck, Gumi, I'm gonna cum," you whimper, your voice filled with urgency and desire.
"Go ahead, angel, cum for me, yeah?" he encourages, his voice husky with arousal as he continues to pleasure you.
With his words ringing in your ears, you surrender to the overwhelming sensation building inside you. Your climax crashes over you, every nerve ending ablaze with pleasure as you reach the peak of ecstasy.
He watches you with a satisfied grin, reveling in the sight of your release.
You clench around his dick tightly as you reach your climax, sending a jolt of pleasure through both of you.
"Shit, baby, you're squeezing me so tight," he groans in pleasure, the sensation driving him closer to the edge. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum if you keep doing that."
But despite his words, you continue to tighten around him, pushing him closer and closer to the brink. With one final, desperate thrust, he loses control, his body tensing as he spills his hot seeds inside you, his groans of pleasure mingling with yours in the air.
As you both ride out the waves of ecstasy together, he collapses beside you, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he holds you close, savoring the intimacy of the moment.
"You did so good for me, baby," he murmurs, wrapping you in his arms as he spoons you, his breath hot against the back of your neck.
You smile and giggle at his words, feeling a warm glow of satisfaction spread through you.
Pulling him impossibly closer, you intertwine your fingers with his, squeezing his hands gently as you kiss them.
"Thank you," you whisper softly, feeling a sense of contentment settle over you as you drift off to sleep in his comforting embrace.
"I'll clean you up and get you some water, okay?" he murmurs softly, his voice filled with tenderness as he presses a gentle kiss to your shoulder. You nod sleepily, feeling grateful for his care and attention.
As Megumi makes his way downstairs to grab the waters, he runs into Itadori and the rest of the group returning from the club. They stumble in, clearly intoxicated, except for Itadori, who seems more sober than the others. Everyone greets Megumi with a friendly hello before heading off to their respective rooms to sleep off the night's activities. Maki goes with Nobara, while Yuta and Toge go up to Itadori's room and you? Well... you're obviously in Megumi's... but they don't know that of course.
As Megumi is about to head upstairs, Itadori stops him and pulls him to the side with a serious expression. "Yo, Megumi," he begins, catching Megumi's attention. Megumi turns to face him, a hint of confusion showing on his face. "What's up?"
"You gotta tell her, you know…" Itadori's tone is firm, his eyes locked on Megumi's.
Megumi furrows his brows, trying to understand. "Huh? What are you talking about?"
"You know what I'm talking about, Megumi," Itadori insists, his voice dropping slightly. "I'm not stupid. I saw the hickey on her neck. I know it's from you. And I'm happy for you, man. I'm glad you're both talking again. But seriously, you need to tell her… or else things are gonna get fucked over again."
Megumi meets Itadori's gaze, his mind racing as he processes the gravity of the situation. After a moment of contemplation, he nods solemnly. "Yeah, I will."
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it’s funny bc i wrote the first half drunk as then the last half high 😭
in honor of 4/20 😼
no im not a big person on drinking nd smoking but it was a celebration w my friend so yolooo 😗
help high rn as well speak plz dont mind omgg
low-key didnt reread this when sober so i hope it was okay 😃
also i got so lazy to do the messages so plzzz ignore that...
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TAGLIST <3
@lavender-hvze @xbarrjallenx @atinymonbebestay @1l-ynn @chilichopsticks @dr-fluff-meow @lost-resonance @maya-maya-56 @ichorstainedskin @luciiferslover @madaqueue @vanitywoo
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the-dixon-effect · 4 months
Text
centre of the universe ✧.*
a/n: 4 months later i'm back, so sorry guys. i got a little caught up. been missing daryl most of all too. i'm feeling a little rusty and tired but here's a cute little thing ig!
requested by: @pandarooooo-blog find the request here :)
summary: having married Negan in order to rescue Daryl from the Sanctuary, you found yourself, 9 months later, raising a kid of your own. the baby being Negan's, you hadn't been particularly enthusiastic to embrace the situation.
words: 1.2k
era: season 8-9, post-saviours
Sitting around Rick and Michonne's dining table embraced by the warm glow of the sky late into summer - what felt like a fever dream at it's best. The past year had left you bruised, emotionally and physically, Hell, you hadn't caught break since the world went to shit. But today, the air was pregnant with sweetness and laughter as you bathed in the company of your family. You stood up from the table once the feast was presumed finished. Your daughter giggled softly, cradled in your arms - her innocence a trait that you only mirrored while everybody fought for her attention.
Rosita imitated her best baby-voice, babbling some nonsensical rhetoric about her being "the cutest" and the "sweetest", while Rick reminisced about the days back on the road with Judith years ago. Noticing this, you thanked him sincerely, "You built this Rick, for Judith, for her," you gestured down to the precious being in your arms. "For all of us." The atmosphere was silent despite the extent of nods and smiles in agreement - the only sound was the sweet laughter of your darling girl.
Daryl, who had been standing by your side, broke the silence "She looks jus' like her mama," he spoke proudly, as though there were a part of him somewhere that wished he was the father; a notion that only remained at the forefront of Daryl's mind when he saw your sweet figure.
"Right?" you agreed, pursuing Daryl's gaze aside from the rest of group. Daryl, as loyal as ever, had stuck by your side during the pregnancy and made sure you were never hungry, uncomfortable, God forbid you were ever unsafe inside the walls. For that you were grateful. He remained your 'best friend', though, and a part of you needed him to know that you wanted him in other ways.
Tears came streaming down your face faster than you could register the situation. Two weeks ago, you kneeled before Negan and the Saviours in the depths of the night. A week later, you were married to Negan, letting him use you to his will only to set Daryl free from the cage they had him locked in. And sure, if that wasn't traumatic enough, this morning you discovered you were pregnant. With Negan's kid.
You were scared, hurt, resentful, but most of all in shock. The overwhelming emotions contained you thoroughly inside your house, and you had not been seen by anyone all day. When a knock arose at your bedroom door, you sprang to your feet and swiftly wiped away the tears that painted your face an unforgiving shade of pink.
"Who is it?" you sobbed, trying to hide your quavering, pitiful tone beneath the question.
"'S jus' me," It was Daryl. You could tell from the husky, gravelly voice behind the door. He sounded concerned. Composing yourself, you took one last look around the messy room before slowly clutching the cold doorknob and twisting it open. His figure towered over you, not threatening - the kind you had been used to - but barricading you from any dangers that stood between him and the rest of the world.
Daryl stood before you, not knowing what to say or do, searching for some trace of an answer in the absent, glassy expanse of your eyes. Absent, there were indeed, for each moment your body stood inside the walls of Alexandria, your mind was back there, in that 'Sanctuary'.
Another wave of tears came down your face before your clouded mind could form a coherent expression.
"Hey, hey, I got ya'," he soothed, drawing your frame into a tight hug, sheltered from anyone's presence, even in your own mind Negan's shadow seemed to dissipate into the encompassing swell of his chest. At least Daryl's stature provided you some respite; it was healing, momentarily. That was until he pulled way, wishing to understand, perhaps, why you were so upset. "Come on, let's siddown'-"
"I'm pregnant, Daryl, I don't know- I don't know what to.." you sobbed, returning to the embrace in an attempt to suppress the rhythmic pound that lay waste to your mind. Daryl, in his own state of shock, could do nothing but hold you. In truth, you did not wish for him to do anything else. Slowly, he walked you to your bedside, his touch not once faltering. With strong arms now safely caging you into his figure, you lay your head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Daryl..." you sighed, closing your eyes in search for some calm.
"Hey, no. You don't ever gotta say sorry, not to me," he gravelled, in that sweet, low voice of his. As he spoke into the crown of your head, you felt his words reverberate somewhere deep inside, moreso than you heard them. He was so tender with you.
"I'm scared," you began. You were embarassed to appear in this manner in front of Daryl. You didn't want to speak. Though you thought you owed him some expression of how you were feeling. "I hate him so much, y'know. I know you know. I hate him, for what he did to you. And me. I just thought," you weeped uncontrollably into Daryl's shoulder, at the notion that Negan - that evil man - would never escape your world. Daryl tried to console you, lifting your head up inches away from his own, though, he too, was flooded with memories and resentment indistinguishable from your own.
"What if my baby turns out like him?" you asked, in rhetoric. Lord knows, what kind of answer you expected.
"Shh.. Dun' think like that," he drawled, laying a gentle kiss on your forehead. The two of you had never been this close before.
"Yer' kid is gonna be strong, and kind, and beautiful.." he trailed off, cursing him damn mouth for running away from his brain. "Just like their momma."
"Daryl?" you spoke, softly, painting a number of maternal images at the forefront of his mind.
"Yeah?" he replied. Not once did he avert his gaze from your tear-stricken face.
"Will you stay.. with me? I'm scared... I don't wanna do this alone,"
"Of course, darlin'." From that moment on, Daryl never left your side.
The warm Virginian sun dipped below the walls of your home in the distance, evening winds stirred, gently, hardly noticeable. You cradled your beautiful baby girl in your arms, your mind empty of all negative thoughts. Just for a little while, everything was perfect. It seemed almost strange, that you were now happier than ever in this post-apocalyptic world.
Daryl strolled up to the gazebo where you perched with your daughter. The setting sun lit up your face like you were the centre of the universe. The centre of his universe, perhaps. It was hypnotic, seeing you in this way, so loving and maternal, more beautiful than ever.
"Hey," you smiled, watching the archer approach cautiously. He was always like this - acting as though his mere presence was a disturbance. You thought quite the opposite. "You can sit down Daryl, you won't wake her," you said sweetly. He simply stood there, an arm leaning on the gazebo fence, smiling down at you. So you stared right back up at him, wondering if he would take you up on your offer.
"I love ya', Y/N,"
"I know. C'mere,"
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sunshinesteviee · 1 year
Note
omggg i loved the prompts you posted! emotional intimacy and pillow talk is just *chefs kiss*, if youre looking for prompts maybe:
❝  you always touch me just the right way.  ❞ &❝  do you even realize what you do to me?  ❞
with reader and steve whispering to each other in the dark, it doesn't have to be smut! I just thought steve would love to hear his girl say that to him after when they're cuddling. you can ignore this if you dont like it tho haahahah
i'm so so sorry this took forever to get to; i've had a lot going on, but finally got around to writing it!! i hope you like it! wc: 703
-
Steve is already under the sheets again by the time you re-emerge from the bathroom in your underwear and one of his shirts. He’s sprawled out on his back, sheets bunched around his waist, bare torso on display in a way that makes you want to jump his bones, even though you’ve just had sex. A soft smile stretches across his face when he notices you standing in the doorway, and he reaches an arm out towards you, motioning for you to get back in bed with him. You can’t resist him, not even for a second, and flick the bathroom lights off, flooding your bedroom in darkness. 
You don’t need lights to find your way back to bed, and crawl up the length of it, flopping into Steve’s waiting arms. Your landing next to him is maybe a bit too aggressive, as he groans, “Oof, baby, jeez. Warn a guy the next time you’re gonna body slam him.”
“Sorry, baby,” you giggle, shimmying underneath the sheets to press your body into his. Your hand slides across his bare chest as you turn to your side and press your cheek into his shoulder, one leg hitching up over his. 
“‘S okay,” he murmurs in reply, voice muffled by your hair as he kisses the top of your head. You can’t see his face, but you can hear the smile in his voice; you can picture his soft hazel eyes and his pretty freckles as his lips tug up at the corners. He’s beautiful inside and out, and you want nothing more than to spend forever just like this. 
A large, warm hand settling against the exposed skin of your thigh draws you out of your thoughts. Steve’s touch is gentle as his fingertips draw down the back of your thigh toward your knee to keep you pressed close, the pad of his thumb rubbing soothing circles onto the inside of your knee. He presses another kiss to the crown of your head as he asks quietly, “You okay?”
“Mhm,” you reply somewhat absentmindedly, tilting your chin up so you can press a kiss in return to your sweet boyfriend’s jaw. 
“Was it okay for you?” 
He’s asked you before, usually equal parts sincerity and in jest, and it’s always dorky and endearing. The question makes you want to laugh, though; Steve is, by far, the most generous and skilled lover you’ve ever had, and to suggest anything otherwise is ludicrous. But you humor him nonetheless, appreciating that he cares that you enjoy yourself, “Yeah, Stevie, of course. Do you even realize what you do to me?”
You can feel his laugh more than you can hear it with your head on his chest. His hand sweeps along the length of your thigh again as he asks, “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” you murmur as you place your hand on your boyfriend’s chest, fingertips tracing delicately over freckles and moles, along the edges of rough scars adorning his sides, “that you always make me feel good. You always touch me just the right way. Swear you know my body better than I do sometimes.”
Steve laughs again, softer this time, as if a little flustered. His hand closes around your shoulder and he pulls you in even closer, lips pressing to your forehead in a light kiss, “Hope so. ‘Ve spent enough time getting acquainted.”
Letting out a groan, you push your face into Steve’s chest, which pulls another giggle out of him, “Ugh, shut up! I’m trying to be serious, and you’re being a perv.” And even though you’re trying to admonish him, you can’t help but to dissolve into giggles, too, the sound muffled against his skin as he holds you close. 
When the giggling from the both of you finally subsides, Steve gets serious, lips pursed as he pushes a few stray hairs out of your face. The tip of his nose rubs against yours as he leans in and whispers, “I love you. Ya know that? And you make me feel the same way.” And then, before you can reply, Steve leans in and presses his lips to yours. Kisses you like he’ll never be able to get enough. Like this might be his last chance, even though you plan on kissing him like this for the rest of your life.
"I love you, too, Stevie."
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rehfan · 2 months
Text
La Belle Dame avec Merci
Eddie Munson x Unpopular!AFAB!fem!Reader
Warnings: 18+ readers only please - minor children DNI! – No Upsidedown; SLOW BURN; Eddie & Reader are both over 18; fake dating/relationship; reader is technically a virgin; mutual pining; Eddie has trust issues; emotional hurt/comfort; masturbation; emotional manipulation; reader is kinda shitty to Eddie; reader gets better; angst; more angst; Eddie’s mom is dead; small act of accidental physical violence; Uncle Wayne is the best
Tagged: @bluestuesday / @ali-r3n / @winchester-angel / @iletmytittiestitty-russ / <— let me know if you want to be added!!
DO NOT POST TO ANY OTHER SITE. My words are mine and mine alone.
Inspired by @/hard-candy-writing ‘s ORIGINAL POST — I sincerely hope I do this justice.
1.8K words of Chapter 1 below (no smut yet - this is a SLOW BURN) — more chapters to come! AO3 link
Tumblr Masterlist Link
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Eddie Munson was on your radar about as much as any other guy in school. That is to say, boys were people to avoid on the whole; whether because they were just cruel to you, or users trying to get you in bed, and therefore people to pointedly stay away from or - if it ever would happen - a dreamy-eyed boy were to come along and finally be kind, the fact remained the same: boys were an inconvenience at best, a source of torture at worst. Keeping your head down was the rule for every day. None of them wouldn’t have anything to do with you anyway, but some would actively jump out of the way in the halls all the while thinking themselves clever and funny by quoting Monty Python: “She’s a witch! A witch! She turned me into a newt! I got better…” An act somehow always followed by a cackle from their clique.
Of course, Eddie himself wasn’t one of these. He mainly kept out of your way, even though you shared a biology class together. You knew him enough to hand him a pen or pencil if he asked you for one in desperation, but otherwise, he kept to the theater club and his D&D group, Hellfire, and gave you a wide berth.
So it was a surprise to you when you received notice from the librarian that Eddie asked for a tutor in history. Ms. O’Donnell was a challenging teacher, no doubt, but you were one of her favorites and were currently in her AP History class. Eddie was in American 20th Century history and while it wasn’t your favorite part of history, you could still help him get by. You thanked the librarian and went looking for Eddie.
It didn’t take you long. The librarian simply pointed behind you. He was at one of the smaller tables in the middle of the space, doodling in a notebook. His leg was pumping a mile a minute and he looked bored. It must be his free period, you thought. You sat opposite him without asking and he looked up surprised.
“So when would you like to get started?” you asked, unpacking a datebook and pen from your purse.
“What?” He was genuinely thrown off guard, but soon regained his composure. This was some kind of trick. Had to be. He searched the room and discovered the table behind you was loaded with jocks and party kids. They weren’t looking at either you or him, but something still smelled off. He narrowed his eyes at you and waited.
“For your tutoring. 20th Century History? Ms. O’Donnell’s class? The thing you asked to be tutored in?” You clicked your pen. “When are you free?”
“What are you talking about?” he said, utterly confused. You had never spoken to him for any length of time before but there was something about the sound of his voice you found fascinating. The more he spoke, the more you wanted to hear. Even if it was him turning you down for your academic services. “I never asked to be tutored,” he said, insulted. “I’m not that stupid. I’ll make it through her class all on my own, sweetheart, m’kay?” He tilted his head and gave you a smart-ass grin.
“Well then why did the librarian give me your name? And why did she say that you wanted to be tutored?”
“I don’t know, princess,” he said, leaning forward, that grin still painted on his face. “Maybe she’s trying to set you up with the only guy in school who isn’t terrified of you.” This was not true. You did terrify him. Deeply. Your piercing eyes. Your pretty hair. Not to mention your rather distracting body. You were a fucking masterpiece and totally untouchable. The Impenetrable Ice Queen. The Queen who was now talking to him, the lowly bard. What was happening here? Doubling down on his declaration, Eddie leaned in even further and whispered: “I can be scary too, you know.”
Your spine stiffened. That was a shot across your bow you weren’t expecting. “I don’t understand. The librarian always keeps track of who the tutors are assigned to. If you didn’t put your name in for tutoring-“
Just then a group of kids behind you laughed. “Hey Munson! The Ice Queen? You getting desperate? Want to take your chances with the frigid bitch of Hawkins High?”
“Yeah man, hope you like cold fish!”
“And cold showers!”
You didn’t even want to turn around. From the look on Eddie’s face, you knew that it was the same group of people that hated him too - that is to say, almost anyone else in the school.
You closed your eyes and took a deep calming breath. “Jocks or preps?” you asked him.
“Looks like a mix of both,” he answered you and raised his middle finger at them all. Because fuck them, that’s why. He wanted to punch them all in the face. After all, they were also insulting you and face punching after someone insults a lady is expected, no? The knight errant in him was itching for battle.
“The freak found the geek!” one of them called.
“Shh! Quiet in the library or all of you can leave!” said the librarian. She stayed long enough to watch the big group behind you duck their heads and pretend to study their books. Satisfied that everything was over, she went into her office to answer the phone.
As soon as she was gone, it started back up again, just quieter.
“Hey Munson, be sure your dick doesn’t freeze and snap off inside her.”
“Don’t worry. She’ll probably cut it off as soon as he pulls it out of his pants.”
“And hey, Ice Queen, watch out Munson doesn’t have anything catching.”
“Yeah. God knows what that freak carries.”
”Probably what the green monkey had.”
“It’s so nice to know they care,” you muttered, your voice dripping with sarcasm. As you kept your gaze in Eddie’s direction, you saw his jaw clench and his eyes darken. You commended him for keeping his temper, if only barely.
In that moment, as Eddie was steaming and you were trying to let their words pass over you, you came to an important realization: you and Eddie were in the same boat socially. It was also then that you realized that Eddie might be the answer to your prayers. In fact, out of all the guys in Hawkins, out of every single male soul, he was likely to be the one person that you could co-conspire with - if he were up for it, that is.
And if you were honest, there was something fundamentally attractive about the metalhead. You enjoyed how he held court in the cafeteria from time to time. It took bold resolve to speak his truth to the entire school. And there was something about his eyes. The intensity behind them was magnetic. You didn’t need much more thought.
You leaned in, resting your elbows on the table. “How game are you?”
“Huh?” he said, snapping out of his murderous plotting.
You slowed your speech to match the speed of his brain: “How. Game. Are. You? Will you play along with me?”
He narrowed his eyes. He didn’t see where this was going, but it was better than being carted off to jail by Hopper on a battery charge. He was an adult in the eyes of the law, after all. He allowed his curiosity to override his anger. “A little improv, sweetheart? Heh. What do you have in mind?” He honestly didn’t know what to expect from you at this point, but he was seriously intrigued. The Ice Queen wanted to conspire with him. He was flattered.
“Just follow my lead,” you said, “and let’s blow all their tiny minds.”
Slowly you rose from your seat. Your skirt was long, almost to your ankles, but had a slit that ran to just above your left knee. You came around the table and lifted and parted the skirt, swinging your left leg clean over Eddie’s legs and settled yourself in his lap. Automatically, his hands were on your hips, sliding down to stop on your thighs, warm and firm. Eddie looked shocked for about three milliseconds, and it was a good thing he had recovered; if he were too shocked, you didn’t think it would sell the way you wanted it to.
Taking his face in your hands, you turned your head to place a gentle kiss to his cheek, another to his temple, and yet another to the side of his head near his ear. You were testing his waters. You could feel him tremble slightly, but he was holding fast. Good for him. “Follow my lead,” you whispered gently. Then you pressed a searing kiss to his lips.
Eddie’s brain shut off.
He responded to you much more respectfully than you expected; he kept his tongue to himself. In truth, he was still trying to recover from the shock of having you so close and pressed against him. All it would take would be you grinding your hips against his and he wouldn’t be able to walk anywhere without a book in front of his crotch.
The whispered “What the hell-?” from behind you was completely worth the risk of trusting the honor of Eddie Munson. The sound of the rest of them whispering to one another in amusement, fascination, and shock was also satisfying.
The kiss lasted a good thirty seconds or so when the bell rang and everyone gathered their things. You got up. As you gathered your datebook, you smiled at him. “See you in biology, lover.”
There was an extra swing in your hips as you left the library. You could feel Eddie’s stare and knew that his dumb grin was on his face.
You were wrong, however. Eddie was too in shock to react. Too overwhelmed by your energy just now. He stared in confused longing, swallowing hard, knowing he could never really have you and wondering desperately what he was supposed to do now that he knew what kissing you felt like. What having you in his lap felt like.
With that kiss, you knew that the Hawkins High rumor mill was going to spin so fast, it might set the school on fire. That much, you could have predicted. What you didn’t expect was how hot and bothered it had left you. The warmth of him you had expected. Even the plush feel of his lips was a foregone conclusion. But the feel of him - him beneath you and in front of you, his hands on you, his scent spinning around your brain. That was overwhelming. This was either the best idea you’ve ever had, or the worst. Unfortunately, only Eddie Munson could define that for you.
**************
CHAPTER 2 is now posted to AO3 and TUMBLR
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