#make them all gay you fucking cowards @marvel

[box-dwelling]

I've been a fan of Marvellous Mrs Maisel since season 1 but like, the Susie gay stuff is feeling like a real fucking tease. Even with the most recent episode where it finally seems confirmed I feel baited. I'm guessing this is going somewhere with it being the cliff hanger but I just, I don't feel it. And honestly all the cast interviews feel so weird too and always have. Like "oh her sexuality isn't important and we don't have to show it" ok so why are you fucking teasing us with it so much. Why are you getting so close to showing but then not? Like I'd honestly respect it more if Susie was just butch and they never touched it instead of edging us like this. Like haha she went to a gay bar but she still looked super uncomfortable. Ooo she has an ex girlfriend but they never actually say they were dating and they could just be like ex clients. I just feel fucking teased. Commit you god damn cowards. If Susie's sexuality doesn't matter when every single second of midge's personal life is the be all and end all of the show, then why are you just cowardly hinting? Have some god damn balls.

It really doesn't help that I just am losing my patience with the plot. A lot of people were saying how last season it started just feeling like rich white woman temper tanturm hour but this last episode really solidified it. Midge's unprofessionalism is feeling less enderingnand edgy and more like she's just sulking because has to actually work to get to the top. Oooooo I'm a professional writer on one of the most famous comedy shows in the country, but I'm not allowed to guest star because of very reasonable professionalism rules. I'm sure my position as a writer on one of most watched shows in the country definitely won't open other doors to get on other shows. So I'm literally going to completely ruin a completely unrelated gig. Remember when her unprofessionalism was that her jokes were too edgy for the time? That her quick wit and desire to tell the world the way she sees it was what was getting her in trouble. The was what she bonded with Lenny over which was by far one of the most interesting relationships in the show. But tbh they ruined that by having them sleep together. Lenny worked well as this almost mythical concept of what she could become, both good and bad. The relationship was complex and interesting and worked way way way more as friends/peers. But no midge now suddenly has to be romantic with every guy in the show, including her boss now? Which they just don't comment on the blatant workplace harassment there? It's just tee hee Midge is pretty so her boss wants to sleep with her.

Also like can I just say the stuff with Abe was so fucking gross this episode. For a guy who's been pretty heavily autistic coded throughout the show the way they framed him trying to make up with Rose after their fight, which yes he was an asshole in and needed to apologize for, it felt like they made what seemed to me like an honest loving gesture of apology communicated non verbally, which yes he's been heavily autistic coded this whole fucking show so that's likely the best way he has to communicate, as child like and pathetic was just disgusting. Like I can see myself in his head so much. He messed up and he knows he did but he doesn't know how to apologize for it so he gets up in the middle of the night and picks her roses to scatter on her bed and then comes to be non sexually intimate with her, deliberately trying not to get too close into her personal space so she doesn't feel overpowered or attacked. A pose that could literally be interpreted as him begging her forgiveness. And that describing it's sounds so sweet but in the show he's blocked like he's being a pathetic child. It's so so gross.

And that's not even talking about the conversation that triggered it which spends half the time treating every woman in the scene like they're shallow and unable to understand media, before seemingly taking a minute to mock anyone who wants to read more into stories, highlighting queer analysis especially, as people who refuse to just let stories be and being too forceful for asking people to actually think about what they're watching. Real the curtains are blue shit.

I honestly love Abe so much he reminds me of my dad in a lot of ways so I am pretty biased but even still I just feel so gross after bits of this episode. Especially when they do stuff like "haha men don't want to know about lady problems" while actively undermining sexual harassment and making all the female characters besides queen of all midge and Susie, who despises all thing femmine, (in a way that used to feel like butch rep but with the other stuff seems now like a way to say she's competent because she's not acting like a silly girl) be portrayed as dumb.

Idk man I miss mai.

#marvelous mrs maisel #midge maisel #susie myerson #abe weissman #rose weissman #vent #rant

[luxpenumbra]

ugh ohmygod so I saw this post and it made me so mad that I simultaneously wanted to reblog it just to rant in the tags and to not reblog it so that I could avoid sharing it with /more/ people

listen. music is universal. when a singer, songwriter, producer, lyricist, musician, team puts something out into the world, there may be emotions that they are trying to put into it. They will draw on these emotions as they perform and edit and refine this thing they are making. There may be a story they are trying to tell, an experience they are trying to communicate, and this may not be straightforward; there is a level of abstraction between conceptualization and realization that I am convinced exists to some level in all pieces of art like this. This is not a flaw; this is marvellous. When I the listener interact with a song, or an album, or an artist's entire body of work - the emotions that I feel and the story that is conveyed to me may be just. absolutely different from the artist's intentions and their own experience. It may resonate with me in an entirely different way than intended; it may resonate with someone else in a separate, distinct, discrete way. My and others' awareness of the artist and any context they have made clear may play a part in this or it may not; it depends on how I interact with music and how readily available this information is.

All this is to say: the only fucked up thing with this whole gaylor shit is the part where people are convinced that their interpretation of her music and the way it resonates with them indicates some fundamental truth about her identity. The only person who knows that is her and frankly it's none of anyone else's business and it's probably not that interesting anyway. But!!! this does not mean that her music cannot resonate with someone's experience of queerness!!!! It is story and song and a vehicle for emotion, and the details that make something sing true to someone's life and values are not pinned to the artist's "true identity" like a fuckin. butterfly to a corkboard. there is VALUE and DELIGHT in being aware of some additional dimension of queerness by virtue of the singers intentions or identity or whatever but that's a fucking BONUS you NIMRODS the only thing you need is a heart to feel things and a song to feel them about it's about YOU and how you interpret things. you change things just by existing!!! the only person to experience a song the way you do is YOU!!! "if I wanna listen to gay music I'll listen to gay ppl singing about gay sex" good for you!! but what a sad and limited life you must lead to need the significance and meaning of art spoonfed to you by author bios.

AND THEN. fucking condescending ass AAAAAAAH listen. christian rock can slap. i say this as someone who is markedly not christian. and even if you don't think it slaps that's fine. but the fact that someone's out here going "oh poor limited babies who've never listened to real proper good music before projecting sasanaru onto christian rock because they've never known anything else" grow uppppp!!! first of all!!! nobody. NOBODY. is out here saying 10,000 reasons by matt whatever is about sasuke and naruto kissing. you know this in your heart of hearts, just like you know deep down that there is VALUE in eking out meaning in places where you don't expect to find it, and in places that have some connection to the earliest parts of you. (and even if you aren't doing this, aren't interacting with the context of the music and its genre, see above re:universal fucking language). you've probably done it before. it's tumblr, land of transformative works and webweaving of course you have. how limited in scope must you be to think that people who listen to a genre you don't value but who are also queer or something must be just poor deprived children, limited in resource, waiting for that next evolution i'm gonna weep. anyway listen to relient k cowards

#listen its 2:40 AM and this is not nearly as coherent as i want it to be considering the things im thinking #this is the galaxy brain thing but in reverse #but if i dont get this out somewhere i will be up all night or i will wake someone up to talk about it and i have work in the morning #and like. #for a long time the thing that made me keep considering holding onto christianity was the music #the emotion it conveys is held up and amplified by community and just by virtue of the songs structure and melodic devices and whatnot #and lyrically theyre full of symbolism and rich language and metaphor and depth!! this is perfectly natural because like it or not they dra #from a historical text thousands of years old with fuckin poetical leanings #it took me a long time to realize that the emotions christian music evoked in me did not necessarily coincide with belief #and a longer time still (and im still working on this) to learn to continue to enjoy and interact with that music without feeling guilt for #that lack of belief #but anyway!! that literary element; the rich language and historical background and symbolism is part of what makes religious imagery in art #in stories and songs and shows #so potent #and to pretend it isn't is dumb #i have now run out of steam gn

[ao3feed-stevebucky]

I Don't Want To Rest In Peace (I'll Hold In These Hands All That Remains)

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/wTRbBGc

by pilotflyingj

The weariness covering Steve’s face makes him look a little more his age; but the warmth that fills his chest and the soft, tired smile he manages as he removes the suit, all the while looking at Bucky, has him feeling like a scrawny smitten kid in Brooklyn for the first time in decades.

He practically body slams Bucky when he crosses the distance between them in only a few quick strides and wraps him in a hug, melting into his warmth just as Bucky does his and closing his eyes.

For the first time in a long time, Steve is at peace.

Words: 3607, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers

Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers

Additional Tags: steve and bucky wear each other's dog tags, Dog Tags, a study in grief and loss and being stubborn old men, not endgame compliant in the sense that steve actually comes back, otherwise it's mostly canon compliant in a hand-wavey gay subtext kind of way, brief discussion of steve being lowkey suicidal, but only in the context of his canon-typical self sacrificial tendencies, Canon Temporary Character Death, canon character un-death, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Grief/Mourning, Steve Rogers Has PTSD, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Steve Rogers Has Nightmares, Jewish Steve Rogers, Jewish Bucky Barnes, Fix-It, and also a character study, a fic in which i throw all my headcanons at a wall and see what sticks, because the russos may be cowards but i however contain multitudes, Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Loves Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Loves Steve Rogers, Angst with a Happy Ending, fuck you they get their soft epilogue, Title From a Bastille Song

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/wTRbBGc

#ao3feed #steve rogers #bucky barnes #stevebucky #stucky #steve/bucky #stevexbucky #fanfic

[ghostsandmirrors]

do you think bucky stuggles with identity and a sense of self post-hydra?

because i know i do (think that. this was a reference to a youtuber because all i can hear in my head is him autotuned going ‘do you hear that? i know i do!’ while giga pudding starts playing).

here’s the thing. i wasn’t sure ‘sense of self’ was accurate, but then i saw someone saying that you don’t have a sense of self if you’re uncertain in your identity and have a ‘weak identity’ (their words) which is things like ‘codependent tendancies’, ‘inability to create strong boundaries’, ‘low self esteem’, also a lot of depression symptoms.

there was also ‘scattered priorities’ which... adhd. if you have adhd you have a weak identity. i don’t make the rules because my priorities are too scattered so i can’t. /jk

my point is that based on this one site (link) and the author’s version of sense of self... this man doesn’t have one. or at least, not a lot of one. he barely has an identity by the time of the Snap, i’m pretty sure.

there’s also the fact that a sense of self means being able to identify you and i don’t honestly think bucky has ever been able to do that between the expectations and his own lying (out of fear) which clouded his view of himself from ‘an overall decent guy who’s really fuckin gay’ into ‘a coward and a liar who cannot be good enough’, so adding on a group that is determined to squash any part of him that isn’t helpful to them, that they can’t use, over the course of 70 years would take away that ability to know himself and be able to detangle himself from them and see which parts are him and which parts aren’t.

and that’s why i don’t buy most canon post-civil war. that’s right. welcome to my motherfucking TED Talk.

there’s no way this man isn’t having an existential crisis every night, when there’s no more distractions and he lies there thinking ‘who the fuck am i’. there’s no way he peacefully exists fuckin anywhere. he still hasn’t figured himself out. he was vaguely trying to do that before the swat team arrived, though the image he gets of himself will always be clouded by expectations of others just from the fact that history remembers him a certain way, and then suddenly he’s in fuckin wakanda.

his happiness and life is so intertwined with steve’s happiness and life that he truly cannot see himself as himself. that’s probably also why i don’t buy post-Snap bucky being like, a functioning member of society canonically? half of his whole identity left and you’re expecting me to believe he made friends with people? and he’s aware of fuckin anything that’s going on? and he’s actually getting to therapy? fuck off, marvel. that’s bullshit and you fuckin know it.

how the fuck is he friends with anyone? he don’t know shit.

this has turned into me roasting canon bucky but listen, i’m right and that’s all that matters.

#ooc #more info : bucky #rambling #me joking about scattered priorities while writing some truly scattered bullshit bcus i need to go to bed #just so i'm not sat on the sofa when dad gets up lmaoo #i will rewrite this someday

[impostoradult]

This is time that was allotted to these storylines by canon, offering an expectation of meaning and importance, offering what results in a promise—not time the fans imagined or made up, not something they feel nebulously entitled to, but time they spent on plots the canon gave to them. (Cas means something to Dean after all these years and a love confession. Bucky means something to Steve after all these years and a snap. Jaime’s project of growth and his meaningful relationship with Brienne is something worth investing in.) But instead of saying, yes, you spent all this time watching these scenes, feeling these moments, taking this in—you grew with this character, with these relationships (grew in many cases away from the set starting point)—here is your promised meaning, again and again, these properties snatch the rug away and then pretend blithely they cannot understand why “entitled fans” are so upset.

I’ve been meaning to write my version of this argument for a while now, and I suppose this article is just as good a reason as any.

My thesis, in short, is that lack of queer representation actually isn’t what is creating ~the problem~ here. What’s creating the problem is the overriding power of heteronormativity as a kind of ‘trump’ story logic that is allowed to steamroller everything else into oblivion. (And yes, there actually is a substantial difference between those two things)

Sub-thesis 1: Representation Actually Isn’t A Strong Argument for Destiel (or any particular ship/character)

Controversial, I know.  The representation argument (while an extremely valid argument as applies to popular culture in general) is actually not a very good argument when it comes to why Dean should be explicitly queer and Destiel should have been consummated. 

For one, there’s no reason -- exclusively from the standpoint that it is a moral imperative that queer people are represented in media -- why any particular character or set of characters should be that representation. The ethical cultural mandate to represent marginalized groups does not mandate that any one character or set of characters in any particular given story be that representation*. Yes, even if you as a member of that marginalized group happen to identify with that character. Even then, it isn’t OWED to you. (I think writers should take those trends of identification seriously, and think about what it means to marginalized groups, and act accordingly. But I don’t think it creates an OBLIGATION)

*I’d argue the primary caveat to this would be in stories where the character’s situation or arc is directly related to struggles experienced by that marginalized group (i.e., casting mostly white actors in stories where those characters are experiencing racial oppression)

For another, if representation of queer characters were primarily dictated by fandoms, 90% of queer characters in media would be white, conventionally attractive men. (That might be overstating it a bit, but fandoms have serious biases when it comes to shipping and what kind of characters they latch onto for queer interpretation, and that’s one of the reasons I’m grateful queer representation is not primarily linked to our tastes/preferences). 

The representation argument is a very valid argument when examining popular culture as whole, and when looking at broader trends for example, within a genre, or a whole network. But no particular TV show is obligated to make particular characters within it queer just because representation is a moral imperative as a broader cultural issue. 

Sub-Thesis 2: Heteronormativity Creates Stupid/Badly Constructed Stories

The actual problem here is how heteronormativity creates a kind of trump logic that overrides coherent storytelling. 

I’m not upset about what happened on Supernatural because I think we missed out on representation. There is actually plenty of ~better~ representation elsewhere, and there will continue to be more as time goes on. The representation issue is peripheral at best when it comes to analyzing what went ‘wrong’ with Supernatural. 

The key issue here is that stories need to make sense, not just in terms of plot (although that matters), but in terms of character growth, emotional arcs, etc. The ending of Supernatural is bad because it treated massive pieces of character growth and one of the most significant emotional arcs of the whole show as if it was ultimately inconsequential -- which is bad storytelling and doesn’t make sense. 

And YES, we are ‘owed’ stories that make sense. It’s not entitled to want a story to be coherent, because coherence is what makes a story a story, and not just a series of random meaninglessly assembled plot points/fictional anecdotes. 

The problem is, Hollywood writers keep writing themselves into situations where emotional coherence basically requires an explicitly queer dynamic (or at least a strongly subtextual one), and then just being like...but these characters aren’t queer so we can’t do that. Instead, let’s end Steve’s arc by sending him back in time to live a heterosexual life with Peggy, disregarding the HUGELY significant plot points related to Steve/Bucky which grounded multiple entire movies within the MCU (Winter Solider, Civil War). Let’s end Sherlock by inventing a random, long-lost Holmes sister never remotely hinted at or foreshadowed and make that incomprehensible plot point the finale, when the entire series has been grounded in John and Sherlock’s relationship. 

Let’s make it canonically clear Cas’s love for Dean is the one single act of pure free will in a world with a malevolent God trying to manipulate everyone’s lives for his own amusement, and that Cas’s love for Dean is the only thing keeping the primary story-universe of Supernatural intact, because every other version of Sam and Dean in every other universe kill each other as God intended. Let’s make it clear that Cas’s betrayal of heaven due to his love for Dean is literally propping up their entire universe, but then end the story by pretending like it’s not that important after all. Castiel who?

And it’s just like...THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE! It doesn’t make fucking sense. It’s bad writing. So why would you do it? (I mean, I being a bit facetious here. I know exactly why. Because the precious feelings of homophobes will be hurt, and companies don’t want to lose out on their money) 

It’s not entitled to want a story to make sense. It’s not entitled to want major plot points and character arcs and emotional dynamics to have resolutions that follow from what came before in the story. 

And I’m sorry, but you are a ridiculous person if you watched Dean grieve Castiel’s ostensible deaths in s7 and s13 (both times becoming nearly catatonic, nihilistic, more self-destructive than usual, and borderline suicidal over losing Cas) and try to argue to me that his shrug-it-off attitude towards Cas’s death/loss in the finale makes any goddamn sense at all. 

It is utterly inconsistent with everything that has happened before in Supernatural regarding Dean and Castiel’s relationship. It’s incomprehensibly incoherent and just stupid. (And that is just the absolute tip of the incoherence iceberg because to fully explain why the ending of Supernatural re: Destiel doesn’t make sense we’d have to review over 300 episode’s worth of content, and there isn’t time for that) 

I’m just so sick and so tired of being asked to pretend to be stupid because you know, man, heterosexuality. They’re not gay!!1! 

The exhaustion I feel, as a queer viewer, in fact is not borne out of lack of representation. The representation issue is very much on an upward trajectory and I’m not worried about the future of TV not being queer enough. I’m not. 

The exhaustion and frustration and anger I feel as a queer viewer is borne of having to repeatedly watch stupid endings to good stories because the story can only make sense if you make it queer (you cowards). I’m tired of being asked to develop dumb amnesia disease in order to consume endings to stories that had to blow everything up at the end to (re)enforce a heterosexuality that can only stand on a foundation of utter incoherence and contradiction to monumental things that came before it.

I am JUST SO TIRED of being asked to sacrifice my intelligence, my basic logic and critical thinking skills, and my ability to remember basic narrative beats at the alter of almighty Heterosexuality, supreme ruler of all cultural output and destroyer of good queer things. 

Heterosexuality isn’t owed my stupidity, and I’m not entitled for wanting stories to make sense. YOU are entitled for demanding my stupidity when you wrote that dumb shit and expected me to act like it wasn’t dumb simply because it was heterosexual. 

No, the heterosexuality is exactly the reason it IS dumb. 

#Supernatural #Sherlock #Destiel #Johnlock #Stucky #MCU

[gashinabts]

philophobia|(m)

Words: 7.4k

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mature

Summary: Taehyung, a man, who swears he’ll never fall in love meets Y/N a hopeless romantic.

Warnings: Teasing, spitting, oral (f/receiving), fingering, pussy slapping, pussy sniffing ( lmao idk if thats a thing?), squirting, sexual intercourse, mention of homophobia. Topics of child neglecting, if this makes you uncomfortable pls don’t read :) minor character death

A/N: Taehyung is a bisexual king! Tell me what you peeps think, remember that comments motivate me to continue writing!!! This is my work, no reposting this and my other works on any other platforms.

Kim Taehyung was born December 30, 1995 his father left him when he was 11 years old that is when Taehyung realized that love never lasts. His mother pretended that his father never existed, she quickly hid the family photos away, along with covering his tomato garden with dirt. Taehyung wanted to ask where he went but stopped wondering when he heard a few of his classmates whispering that Taehyung’s dad left them for a young woman in her twenties. 

As Taehyung grew into his teenage years he would often get asked out by his classmates, he wouldn’t decline, accepting the dates to see if he can ever fall foolishly in love like his Mom once did. However, nothing ever happened, he would kiss them goodnight but won’t call them the next day. In high school he lost his virginity at a party, he wasn’t nervous, just did things he’s seen in filthy pornorgraphy. The very next day the girl spread the rumor that Taehyung was a sex god, that he probably had sex everyday with a different people. Was that a compliment? He remembered thinking to himself as he sat in the back of the classroom, feeling people secretly stare at him. 

That day he met Jimin. Jimin was a popular boy that everyone swoon over. Of course he had a girlfriend, they have been dating since middle school. The guys would gawk at her when she would wear a sports bra to track practice. Taehyung was in art class sketching an apple, Jimin came over and talked to him as if they were friends. It was nice, Taehyung listened to Jimin complain about his art. When class was over, Jimin asked Taehyung to hang out with him after school. When Taehyung sat on Jimin’s bed, he looked over on the desk and saw a picture of Jimin and his girlfriend. Right next to it was a picture of what he assumed was Jimin’s family. A Mom, Dad, an older brother, and Jimin. He turned his gaze back to Jimin...who was undressing in front of him. Jimin’s underwear was the only thing on, Taehyung didn’t expect him to have lean muscles and define abs. An hour later  they were both breathless, exhausted from the sex. 

“ I’m not gay.” Jimin tells Taehyung as he cleans himself with a rag. 

“ Okay.” Taehyung shrugs and pulls his pants up. He’s watched gay porn and straight porn before and got turned on by both of them, so it doesn’t come to much of a surprise that he enjoyed the sex with Jimin. 

*******

Taehyung watches from afar when Jimin kisses his girlfriend in the school halls, wondering if that’s love. The next few months, Taehyung and Jimin fool around more. Jimin would call Taehyung over, then they would fuck and they would both be on their way. There were never conversations or pillow talks, until right now.

“ I’m gay.” Jimin confesses to Taehyung. 

“Cool.” Taehyung shrugs, looking for his shoes. 

“ That’s all your gonna say?” Jimin rolls his eyes grabbing his t-shirt wiping the come on his stomach. 

“ I’m bisexual, happy?” Taehyung looks at his phone and notices a missed call from his mother. He tucks his phone away, “ Why are you still with her? Your girlfriend.” He finally asks the question he’s been meaning to ask since the beginning.

“ I love her and I don’t want to hurt her, but I can’t love her like that.” Jimin looks at the picture of them and flips it down, almost ashamed of how much of a coward he is. “ Plus my Dad would kill me if I told him I like men.” He throws his head back looking at the ceiling not wanting to cry his eyes out. 

Taehyung thinks love is complicated, he thinks people who are in love are selfish. They rather hurt themselves for the sake of love. It’s stupid he wants to tell Jimin that but he keeps quiet until Jimin looks at him with tears eyes. “ I don’t know what to say…”

“It’s fine...you don’t have to say anything just keep me company, yeah?” 

“ Okay,” Taehyung sits back on the bed watching but not really watching tv with Jimin. 

---

Taehyung’s mom was proud of him when he got accepted to a good college, she would brag to her friends and show pictures of his acceptance letters. Along with bragging how she raised Taehyung all by herself. Taehyung didn’t mind that he was in the spotlight, whatever made his mom happy he would comply with whatever she does. He was good with numbers so he was going to major in data analysis, he really wanted to major in art but his mom laughed in his face, telling him to be realistic. 

Taehyung is now in his third year of college, wanting to just graduate already, done with the shitload of classwork and long ass lectures. Just right now he just finished his homework that took him three hours. He’s about to call it a night until Jungkook barges in his room, yelling at him to get dressed for a party. Taehyung switches his dirty hoodie with a clean hoodie, opting out grey sweatpants with jeans. He keeps his glasses on, due to his eyes being tired and not wanting to irritate them with contacts. 

Jungkook hands Taehyung a drink, there’s obscene music, blunts being handed around, and people grinding on each other. “ When’s the last time you got laid?” Jungkook asked, as he took a gulp of his beer.

“ Last week...I think.” Taehyung searches through his mental sex list, but can’t seem to remember the girls face or name. He looks around and watches a couple argue with each other. The man rolls his eyes as the woman tries not to cry, the woman ends up leaving him and going upstairs.

“ Damn, lucky. I tried to hook up with this girl and she ended up leaving me hanging. Claimed that she’s not over her boyfriend, started crying on me when I was going down on her.” Jungkook cringes, sipping more alcohol. “ Be my wingman, yeah?” 

“ Sure,” Taehyung nods. Jungkook is talking to this pretty girl, and she laughs at every joke that Jungkook makes. Taehyung wasn’t even sure why he asked him to his wingman when Jungkook can easily get a girl to bed. Jungkook nods absentmindedly when Taehyung excuses himself, he wanders around the frat house looking at people getting wasted. Once he gets tired of it he goes upstairs, hoping to find solace in an empty room. He opens a bedroom door, and notices a girl with a pencil and notebook. “ My bad-,” Taehyung is about to close the door.

You look up from your sketchpad, you see a tall man with messy curls and glasses. “ You can stay,” you observe him, he looks like he was forced to come here. There’s no red solo cup in his hand, he looks like he hasn’t a good night's rest. Also why else would he look mindlessly into rooms, the bathroom doors have a handwritten sign stating ‘BATHROOM’, so he must be bored or something searching into bedrooms. “ Or don’t. I don’t care.” You watch him close the door, entering the room.

“ Is this your room?” Taehyung looks around the room, noticing posters of naked women and marvel posters. Weird combination he notes. Along with the dirty clothes scattered all over the floor. 

“ No,” you laugh. Shutting your notebook close, taking notice of his nice hands brushing his hair back. “ My friend’s room. I didn’t really feel like partying just decided to sketch,” you lift your pad up. He nods and sits on the bed.

“ Can I draw?” Taehyung points towards the sketchpad. He hasn’t drawn in months too busy in his schoolwork, his fingers would sometimes draw on foggy windows but nothing more. You nod tearing a piece of paper out and handing him a pencil, he thanks you. 

You were sneakily glancing at him, sketching him, his angular jaw, messing hair, uneven eyelid, long eyelashes. Getting lost at his elegant features, wondering if he knows how beautiful he looks. You shake your head for easily fawning over this man. His hands are even beautiful, they travel across the paper gracefully with each stroke. You turn your eyes away when he makes eye contact with you, cheeks getting warm. “ What’s your name?” You ask while shading the contours of his cheeks.

“ Taehyung.” He folded his paper into a small square, putting it into his pocket. “ Yours?”

“ Y/N,” you smile.

---

“ Did you get laid yesterday night?” Jungkook is shirtless with scratch marks behind his back, there’s a couple of hickies on his neck.

Taehyung takes a sip of his tea before answering, “No, just talking to some girl. Her name is Y/N.” 

“ Y/N. She’s a nice girl. One time I forgot a scantron for class and she gave me one. She’s also friends with Namjoon.” Jungkook pours himself coffee sitting next to Taehyung. “ Are you interested in her?”

Taehyung would be lying if said he wasn’t interested in you. When he entered the room he thought you were pretty and had a kind smile. “ Maybe...why?” 

“ It’s best if you don’t try to get at her. Y/N looks the type to fall in love easily.” Jungkook sighs cracking his back on the back of the chair, groaning at his achy body. Taehyung wonders how can someone fall in love easily, he’s not one to believe in love at first sight or any kind of stuff in that realm. “ Alright, I’m gonna take a quick shower and then we can leave.” 

Taehyung and Jungkook are at the library studying or trying to study, Jungkook is texting someone the whole time instead of studying for his macroeconimics test. While Taehyung is playing video games on his phone. “ Hey guys! Didn’t know you actually study Jungkook,” Namjoon jokes, ruffling Jungkook’s hair. Jungkook rolls his eyes pushing his hand off his head mumbling curse words at him. Taehyung looks to the side of Namjoon and notices you laughing as the scene unfolds. You’re carrying ice americanos and Jungkook immediately takes it out of the carrier, thanking you. 

You look at Taehyung placing one in front of him, “ I didn’t know what kind of coffee you liked.” Taehyung is wearing similar clothing to what he wore at the party, mostly muted green colors and his circle glasses, his hair is pushed back with a headband. He looks surprised to see you, but nevertheless thanks you for the coffee. The conversations between Jungkook and Namjoon get more serious when they finally decide to study for their materials. You try to study but you want to talk to Taehyung wanting to get to know him more, you nudge your foot against his leg. He looks up, looking at you in question, you nod your head towards the exit entrance, he nods slowly unsure to what you're up to but following your lead. Jungkook and Namjoon are too invested in their studying to see you and Taehyung leave. “ Do you wanna go to my apartment?”

“ Sure,” Taehyung shrugs. The apartment was small and kind of messy, you try to hurry up and toss some of the paintbrushes in the sink. There’s water cups filled with murky colors, and paint marks on the tables, he’s not used to a sight like this. In his apartment it is always clean and tidy, not a dirty plate in sight. “ You live by yourself?” he asked, placing his stuff on the table. 

“ Yeah, my roommate moved four months ago with her boyfriend.” You give up cleaning the mess since there’s too much to clean. “ Want some-” You are interrupted when you feel Taehyung’s lips on your, your hands push his chest flustered at the sudden kiss.

“ I-I- sorry...I must have read something wrong,” he looks embarrassed immediately backing up giving you space. “ I thought you invited me to your apartment for sex.” Taehyung notices how your eyes widen, fuck he feels like an ass, scared that he made you uncomfortable. “ I should go…” he goes to pick up his bags ready to bolt out.

“ I just wanted to talk...to get to know you better,” you speak before his hands grab the doorknob. “ We can paint and talk, if that's okay with you?” 

“ Are you sure? You don’t want me to leave?” 

“ Stay.” You go to the sink to wash your dirty brushes. 

Taehyung sits down looking at the wall, notices a canvas of a man, he has plump lips, gentle eyes, overall he is beautiful, something that seemed out of this world. Maybe it was the way it was painted that made it appear like that. “ You painted that?” Taehyung speaks shifting his gaze to you.

You look at where Taehyung was pointing at, it was the painting of your ex boyfriend, “ Yeah, that’s my ex boyfriend, Seokjin. The professor told us to paint the definition of love…,” you stare at Seokjin’s face, remembering the memories you shared. The brushes are all cleaned and you set them down, grabbing some water colors that are in the cabinet. 

“ Do you still love him?” Taehyung curiously asked, watching carefully at your reaction.

There’s a slight pain of thinking about him, truly not over his death. “ Yeah I’ll always have love for him…” 

Taehyung wants to ask more about him but doesn’t want to intrude, he doesn’t say anything else but paints. This is when Taehyung feels like he’s truly being himself painting, expressing himself without saying anything. Moments like these wish Taehyung would’ve chosen doing what he has a passion for insteading appealing to his mothers standards. 

“ Why are you a data analysis major?” The artwork he is doing is remarkable, there’s dark undertones and eerie about it but it is beautiful something that you have to keep staring at.

He chuckles, “ Because I need to eat.” You look down feeling a little insulted he must've noticed since he immediately apologizes. 

“ It’s okay. You know if you ever want to relax and paint, you can come here,” you continue painting small flowers. The first time, he smiles and nods his head.

---

5 months later

This is the third flower shop visited and he’s getting more tired with each second. “ This arrangement or this one?” You ask Taehyung, as you hold two bouquets. One was more filled with carnations and the other was filled with lilies. He gives it some thought before pointing at the carnations. “ This would be pretty to paint,” you smell it getting happy inside.

“ Finally, when can we eat...I didn't eat anything this morning,” his stomach growls at the thought of food. He’s still carrying the vases you bought at the thrift shop, you had to plead with you to not buy another antique mirror because he knows he would have to carry it to the apartment.

You gave the cashier the money, as he wraps the flowers in newspaper, turning your head you look at Taehyung, “ Why did you come with me if you were going to complain the whole time?” You laugh at his scrunched nose as you pinch it. The flowers are handed back and you thank the cashier, leaving with Taehyung.

“ Because I wanted to,” Taehyung shrugs. In your apartment he puts the flowers away as you cook him food, he always enjoys your cooking. When he was younger all he ever ate was ramen, never really ate some home cooked meals, his mother was always busy working trying to financially support the family so he never once asked his mom for dinner. Even at his own apartment he doesn’t eat Jungkook’s food since he doesn’t know how to cook either. Sometimes when he’s hungry he’ll just come to your apartment and you’ll be more than happy to cook for him.

When Taehyung enters his apartment Jungkook is watching anime, foot propped on the table and sipping some beer. “ Back from your girlfriends’ so soon?” 

“ Not my girlfriend but yeah, I left my schoolwork here so I had to come back,” he sighs. Taehyung doesn’t get mad when Jungkook teases him about you being his girlfriend, but he sometimes gets annoyed. He likes the friendship between the two of you, it’s different from any other friendships he had in the past. “ Tomorrow night the apartment is mine. This guy wants to hangout with me.”

“ Just say he wants to fuck you,” Jungkook yells as Taehyung closes his bedroom door. 

---

You meet Taehyung at the park with some bread, he hugs you and asks about your day. “ It was okay. Had lunch with my Dad, but it always ends up in some lecture. I swear, sometimes it feels like I’m fifteen or something,” you tear a piece of bread throwing it into the pond watching some ducks gobble it. You try to look at Taehyung but it hurts when you see some hickies on his neck. On the day you were about to confess your feelings to Taehyung you asked him if he ever loved someone, he laughed and said that he doesn’t believe in no such thing as love. As much as you wanted to disapprove of that idea, you couldn’t be the one to change it.

He grabs some bread, chucking some pieces out, “ What was the argument?”

You laugh thinking about your Dad’s red face, “ I invited him to my apartment, and he found the blunt we smoked together in the ashtray.”

“ Shit, I should’ve thrown it away,” Taehyung laughs too, pushing some of his hair back. 

“ Just glad he didn’t find any of my sex toys,” you cringe just thinking about it. You feel something tugging the end of your skirt, looking down you see a toddler smiling cheekily pointing at the bread. You smile, “ Here, have fun,” you hand him the rest of your bread. You watch him wobble as he runs to his mother throwing the whole slice in the water. 

“ Sex toys?” Taehyung asked once the child was out of sight. “ Like what?,” Taehyung is interested, he doesn’t know, maybe because he can’t imagine you using them. Or he wants to know how you use it. There were times when Taehyung wanted to have sex with you but he turned those urges off. He doesn’t want to give you mixed signals remembering Jungkook’s words of advice. “ Never-”

“ A dildo, vibrator, hitachi wand, or even my favorite pillow,” you trail off not thinking much until you realize who you are confessing to. “ I-I uh…”

“ How often?,” Taehyung asked quietly, not wanting any other people hearing the conversation. He shouldn’t get turned on but he is.

Something about Taehyung’s deep quiet voice is making you squeeze your thighs, “ Every night…” You're still looking at the pond, watching the ripples that are caused by the ducks swimming away. You can feel Taehyung's stare but you ignore it. The conversation switches to another topic when you talk about your school work. The sun sets and you both part ways.

The sound of tea kettle wakes you up from your concentration of you sketching, sighing you pour yourself the tea. Looking at your art, you turn it over not wanting to see Taehyung’s face right now. But fate has different plans when you hear knocking on the door, Taehyung appears, he lets himself in and is close to your face.

“ Taehyung?” You’re puzzled at his frazzled state, deeply staring into your eyes. 

“ Can I kiss you?” The words are quiet but firm. Stupidly you nod, not caring about any consequences. His hands cup your face, immediately going into the kiss. The kisses get deeper, his hands travel to your hips bringing you closer to him quickly, you lose friction from the fluffy socks you're wearing causing you to slip, immediately grabbing Taehyung as you fall backwards. His hands are quick to save himself from not falling onto you. There’s a slight pain on your tailbone but is immediately forgotten when Taehyung goes back to kissing you.

The big t-shirt you are wearing is tossed, his hands immediately fondle your breast, his lips leaving kisses on your neck, groaning as he pushes his bulge against your clothed core. “ Taehyung...let me touch you,” you moan when he bites your neck. He pulls back, pecking your lips before taking off his clothes. Your hands trail against his chest, his stomach, towards his pelvic, trying to remember every part of him. He is surprised to have you touching him like he was some marvel statue, usually his past hookups just rush into the sex. It’s very intimate and he doesn’t know how to feel about it.

 Taehyung groans when you touch his dick, he’s hard and wants to be inside of you already. He comes down kissing you, his hands get rid of your panties, fingers spreading your wetness. The moans you let out are turning him on even more, he stretches you out with his fingers. He likes the way your eyes flutter, the shape of your lips tremble, along with your chest inhaling and exhaling deeply. “ You are so pretty,” he doesn’t mean to say it loudly but he does. There’s a blush that blooms on your cheeks, it reminds him of the flowers you would get to study paint.

“ Taehyung,” you moan slightly flustered at his compliment. He reaches for his pants grabbing a condom. “ You don’t want to go to the bedroom?” The floor is still cold against your back, and the last time you cleaned the floor was days ago. 

Taehyung shakes head, already putting on the condom not wanting to waste time, “ Too far,” he smiles when you laugh. He enters you feeling you clench tightly around, he moans digging his head into your neck. “ You are so tight,” he groans. “ Feels so fucking good, having you like this,” he confesses.

You moan loudly, his thick cock streching “ Oh fuck, Taehyung, please just fuck me,” your hands go to his waist urging him to move. He listens to your command, thrusting slowly trying to get deep as he can. Maybe if you can close your eyes you can pretend that he’s in love with you. He goes faster and cries at the pace he’s going, the pleasure is overwhelming, something that you can’t get with your own hands. “ I’m close already,” your hand goes to tug at his wavy hair.

“ Me too,” his voice is deeper. His hand travels down to your pussy searching for your clit and rubbing it. “ Come for me,” he says into your ear. You moan his name loudly, cumming around his cock, scratching his back. The sight of you creaming around him makes him immediately come, he searches for your lips, moaning your name in the kiss. The two of you lay in the afterglow of the sex, panting loudly his body is barely being hold up, and you laying on the hard floor.

Taehyung gets up throwing his condom away, he looks at you still laying on the floor with your eyes close, the realization of him having sex with you just popped up. He hurriedly gets dressed, then helps you get dressed, he gets shocked when you kiss him as a thank you. The next morning Taehyung wakes up early, making sure to leave quietly, not wanting to disrupt your sleep.

---

You weren’t going to lie, it kind of hurt not waking up beside Taehyung but you shouldn’t have gotten your hopes up. Namjoon invites you to a kick back, only inviting a few people to his house to chill and drink. You take solace on the couch, watching people get high and drunk, you weren’t in the mood to do either so you make conversation with a slightly high Hoseok. He’s in mid-discussion about Shrek being a cinematic masterpiece, when Jungkook yells from the door entrance that he has Taco Bell. Taehyung is beside him wearing all black beanie, crewneck, and sweatpants, but still looks better than half of the people here.

 You turn your gaze back to Hoseok who’s left walking towards Jungkook immediately grabbing a taco. Sighing you decide to get fresh air, staring at the tall dark buildings. “ Whatcha you doing here by yourself? It’s fucking freezing,” Taehyung speaks out closing the slider door standing by you. He takes off his vape pen inhaling it.

“ Wanted fresh air,” you shrug, still staring at the buildings. “ Hoseok left me for tacos. He was onto something, saying that Shrek is a masterpiece. Who knows maybe he’ll write his thesis about it.” Taehyung chuckles, he keeps looking at you and you finally stare at him. “ Why’d you kiss me yesterday?”

He blows out the smoke, and puts his pen away, “ Cuz I wanted to,” he shrugs not thinking much about it. 

“ Nothing else?” You arch your eyebrow.

He continues to stare into your eyes “ Nope,” he shakes his head.  

Some part of you wanted him to say that he had feelings for you but in the back of your mind you knew that wasn’t going to happen. You smile pushing his chest, “ Well that’s the last time we are ever going to do anything like that.” The both of you know that is a lie.

---

For the next couple of months you and Taehyung continue sleeping with each other.

When you are studying with Namjoon in the library, Jungkook and Taehyung spontaneously show up, causing Namjoon to groan. “ You know you love me,” Jungkook jokingly says sitting next to him. 

Taehyung sits down next to you, looking at your classwork, “ How long have you been studying,” he whispers. 

You turn to look at the time of your phone, “ Like four hours,” you sigh. He hands you a jolly rancher, you immediately put in your mouth. “ Why are you here? You texted me that you were going to take a fat ass nap?”

“ I wanted to see you, kind of missed you,” he lays his head against the table. His eyes close when you brush his soft hair. 

“ I’ll be done in forty minutes.” He lets off a quiet okay continuing to look at you doing your work. 

Taehyung wakes up to you caressing his cheek, his neck is in pain from the awkward position he slept in. “ Where did Jungkook and Namjoon go?,” he looks at the empty seats. He tries to crack his neck and watches you pack your stuff.

“ They left about twenty minutes ago,” you get up stretching your legs. “ Let’s head home. We still have left over pizza,” you groan at the pain on your lower back. 

For some odd reason Taehyung liked hearing you say home, there’s some comfort it gives him but he never says it out loud. Taehyung grabs your backpack, holding it for you as you walk towards your car. You look in the fridge for the pizza, but Taehyung has other plans when he closes the fridge door, pinning you against it kissing you feverishly, his tongue already begging for entrance. Laughing you push him away, “ What’s gotten into you?”

“ I told you...I miss you,” his hands are on your waist. He kisses you again, picking you up easily and placing you on the kitchen table. He takes off your pants and panties, and you reach for his pants but he stops you forcing you to lie completely on the table. “ Look at you, laying so pretty on the table,” he bends down kissing you on your lips before he goes down on you. 

He licks your cunt, gently prodding his tongue up and down. Your hips move frantically wanting to feel more of him. His rough hands pin your hips, and he continues with his teasing, lightly kissing your clit before touring you with his slow pace.  “ Look at your pussy, it looks like the roses you painted yesterday…,” his finger goes up and down your folds.

The words make your cheeks grow hot, “ No it doesn’t,” you get shy shaking your head. The embarrassment fills your body, for maybe shamelessly liking his compliment. You are probably never going to look at roses the same way ever again.

“ Yeah, it does Y/N, but your pussy is more pretty,” he continues to tease you. Wanting to see you get more flustered, he likes it when you do it gets him more turned on. “ I wonder if it smells like roses too,” he’s about to smell your pussy but you hold his head. He watches you cutely shake your head. 

Taehyung is filthy but it makes you get even more aroused. “ It won’t,” you whisper, wanting to cry but he shakes his kissing the inside of your thigh to try to comfort you. 

He smells your pussy and he groans, your heart thumps faster and nervous for what's about to say, “ It smells better,” he kisses your clit. His tongue keeps tracing your folds gently wanting to make you beg for more. The movement of his tongue makes you want to pull your own hair out. The pleasure is barely there but it grows within each second of his tongue flicking up and down.

“ Taehyung,” you let out desperate whine, “ please, I need more.” One of his hands slap your cunt, and your back arches surprise but even more turned on. You never knew that you were into that. The sting hurts at first but shoots up ecstasy after a nanosecond, you can’t help but seek more. “ More!” 

Taehyung lets out a dark chuckle, he gives you another slap, slightly harder on the center of your clit, the stinging making your face scrunch up but letting out a lewd moan. He groans at your wetness seeping out some of it landing on the table.

Suddenly, he is done with all the teasing, and dives in, nose touching your clit and tongue inside your entrance going in and out. Finding it extremely hot that you are riding his face, like the pillow on your bed. Taehyung vividly remembers when you showed him how you ride your pillow last week. The way you desperately let out cute whines trying so hard to relieve yourself as Taehyung only watched, wanting to see you get off without his help. 

He moves his face side to side so his nose can rub your clit. Head in the clouds, your body is floating with ecstasy wanting to stay in it forever. Your hands reach down trying to anchor yourself, Taehyung reaches for your hand holding it tight. You cry out his name loudly, coming intensely, your eyes are shut when it doesn’t seem to stop. Your body finally calms down, looking down you see Taehyung’s face is completely wet. “ Oh my god, did I-

“ Fuck, that was hot,” Taehyung wipes his face with the back his arm. He kisses your lips, he helps you from the table, handing you your panties. 

“ Let me repay you?,” you tug at his belt loop, you look down to see the bulge is gone and there’s a wet stain. Your eyes widen, “ Did you come?”

“ Yeah, you squirting on me, made me bust a nut. I swore I never came that hard either,” he sighs happily. Laughing you go towards the fridge, finally eating the cold pizza. You hand him one and he eats it in two bites. “ My mom called me today…”

Taehyung hardly talks about his family, you only know that he was raised only by his mother. He never talked bad about her but you can tell that they didn’t have a close  relationship. “ What happened?” You and Taehyung move so you're sitting on the couch.

“ She told me that my father wanted to meet up with me,” Taehyung rolls his eyes. “ Told her that I don’t want to. She started crying and telling me that he’s my father...I sometimes think she’s still in love with him. She’s an idiot.” He lays his back staring at the ceiling.

“ Sometimes it’s hard to get over someone that you once loved. The one you shared your laughs, arguments, touches, memories...vanish into thin air... or you could hold onto it. Love isn’t easy...it’s messy, it’s confusing but it’s beautiful being able to share it with someone. Don’t you think?” You look at Taehyung’s side profile.

Taehyung turns his head looking at you, “ I don’t know...I will never fall in love. I don’t want to end up like my parents,” he closes his eyes.

“ Taehyung-“

He opens his eyes smiling, grabbing your hands, “ Let’s head to bed,” already over the conversation. 

---

Jungkook is cooking breakfast and almost burns his hand when a random girl walks out of Taehyung’s room. Immediately she exits their apartment, doing the walk of shame. Taehyung walks out shirtless with hickies on his chest and dishevelled hair. Jungkook clears his throat, “ Thought you were seeing Y/N,” he turns off the stove.

Taehyung grabs a glass of water, “ We are just friends,” he takes several gulps.

Jungkook scoffs rolling his eyes at his friend’s stupidity, “ Yeah, friends who have sex, hold hands, and almost spend every night together. My bad I forgot they changed the definition of ‘friends’ in the Webster dictionary.”

“ Whatever man...I'm out of here,” Taehyung leaves the kitchen going to his room. He looks at himself in the mirror, disgusted at his appearance, at the splotchy marks on his neck. Why am I like this? Taehyung leaves his apartment ignoring Jungkook, entering your apartment with his set of keys. He looks at you cooking pancakes, you look at him quickly and smiling.

“ Hey...you want some? It’s your favorite banana pancakes,” you flip the pancake. He looks at the big stack of pancakes you have on the table, you continue with the last couple of pancakes and sit down taking a couple of bites. You are consumed by the taste, not really focusing on Taehyung until he clears his throat, looking at him you notice marks on his neck. Your heart plummets, you thought the whole time the two of you have been messing around he wasn’t seeing anyone else. “ You hooked up with someone else yesterday?,” you set your utensils down.

Taehyung nods trying to look nonchalant, “ Yeah, is that a problem?” 

“ No,” you try to lie to yourself but it’s no use, your face looks the opposite of how you feel, disheartening, you can’t save face even if your life's on the line. Swallowing hard you shake your head, “ Actually, yes. It is a problem,” you sigh. “ I don’t understand you. You treat me like a lover, but then you do things like this…” you get up from the kitchen table tossing the plates in the sink, not caring that you didn’t finish the meal, “ I open my heart with you but you don’t do the same. I feel used in this relationship or whatever the hell this is,” your hands clenched tightly as you turn around and face Taehyung.

He’s now by the kitchen counter standing up, “ I told you I’m not looking for love. I’m sorry if I gave you mixed feelings but I don’t want this to end whatever we have with each other. I like how things are-”

You scoff, rolling your eyes at his words, “ Well I don’t...if you want to fuck around then do it... I’m not going to care for you like I love you anymore.” The angry tears stream down your face, your hands wipe them before he could, “ Go Taehyung. I wish you the best,” his face is etched with subtle pain, turning away from him you wash the dishes not bothering to look at the sound of him leaving.

---

Three days later

Taehyung hasn’t been sleeping well, tossing and turning, giving up completely and decides to study all night long. This has been a daily occurrence since the fight with you. I’m not going to care for you like I love you anymore. Taehyung groans, wanting to get the image of you out of his brain. Jungkook knocks on his door, eyes widening at the sight of him, “ You look like shit, c’mon Namjoon is having another get together.”

When Taehyung shows up to the party he watches you have a conversation with Hoseok, from a far distant, unsure how you would react if you saw him. Taehyung waits till Hoseok leaves, walking towards you as you are on your phone texting someone. He watches you jolt as he calls your name. “ Hey,” you greet him but there’s no smile or warmth like you usually greet. And he hates it, it makes him feel like a stranger.

“ About the last time, I’m sorry that we got into an argument,” Taehyung apologizes, he tucks his hands in his pockets, a nervous tick he developed when he was elementary. 

“ Ok,” you nod your head, not wanting to discuss something so private in a social setting. “ I should get going, I got a research paper to go over,” you give him one last glance and leave, not saying goodbye to anyone else.

Taehyung doesn’t like the way your back faces him, leaving him all alone with a place full of people. He pushes against people not wanting to let you go so easily, he wants to talk to you, he wants to hear you talk. He wants to lay in your bed and listen to your heart beat while you stroke his hair, letting him fall asleep in your arms. You're opening your car door, and you halt when he calls your name, you wait patiently for what he’s going to say. Please stay.  “ I-I uh...I wish you the best, Y/N” Taehyung says. He watches you give him one last small smile and drive away. 

---

Six months later

Taehyung hates visiting his mother, there’s always something unsettling when he enters his childhood home. As soon as greets his mother she comments about his weight, his slightly long wavy hair, and baggy clothes. She doesn’t ask him college, she never does. Instead he listens to her talk about her work. “ I told your father that you're in town,” she says over the sound of the faucet. Taehyung nods, handing her the dirty dishes, “ I told him you are free tomorrow, you are going to visit him at IHOP,” she leaves no room for argument. 

The sun wakes up Taehyung before his alarm does, he doesn’t really put in effort to look nice but when his mother gives him a look, he changes into something more appropriate. Maybe if Taehyung was in middle school he would be nervous meeting his father but now that he’s an adult he couldn’t care less. It takes him a while to find his father, he looks older from his adolescent years, has a few gray hairs and slightly wrinkled skin. His father stands up, and Taehyung immediately holds his hand out giving him a handshake not wanting to receive an awkward hug. His father looks surprised but compiles, awkwardly laughing and sits down taking a gulp of his hot black coffee. “ I ordered your favorite,” his father points to the triple drizzle chocolate milkshake with a red cherry on top that is set in front of Taehyung. “ How are you kiddo? You look so grown up, your mother has been feeding you well, huh?”

“ Yup.” Taehyung looks at the red cherry. 

There’s too much uncomfortable tension, and his father is letting more awkward coughs to try to fill the silence. “ Almost done with college, yeah? Just three more months, and you gotta face the real world,” his father comments.

Taehyung has been facing the real world since he was a teenager, he worked when he was in highschool to pay for college, he cooked his own dinner because his mother always came home late, he didn’t need to graduate college to find out the world was shitty. “ Yeah.”

His father tries really hard to have some sort of conversation with his son.“ You still like to paint?”

Taehyung smiles, getting reminded of you. He wonders what you are doing right now, if you are painting the canvas he bought you when you guys were friends. “ No. I mean yeah, sorta. I painted with this girl, she made me fall back in love with painting but I did something horrible to her. Now I can’t paint without thinking about her,” he sighs. 

There’s surprise etched on his father’s face, since more than a word came out of his son’s mouth. “ Seems like a very important person to you. You should talk things out with her, don’t want to lose someone like that.” 

Taehyung rolls his eyes, “ Why? You did the same thing to us.”

“ Taehyung-”

“ You really fucked me up father, I hate that you and mom made me this way. I want to love her but I’m scared...what if she ends up leaving me like you did. I rather be alone for the rest of my life than to have someone steal a part of me,” Taehyung grits his teeth.

“ I-I I’m sorry Taehyung...I really am. I hate myself everyday for not visiting you, I should’ve been there for you...Your mother and I once loved each other but sometimes people fall out of love, but that doesn’t mean love is evil. Don’t give up on love because of our failed marriage, son, you deserve to be in love.”

---

One week later

“ Fuck, watch where you going asshole,” you yell at the asshole who wasn’t paying attention that made you drop all of your art supplies. He doesn’t even bother apologizing, just continues to walk with his friends. You pick up your pencils, someone helps you pick up your other materials. “ Thank-” you stop midway when your eyes are met with Taehyung. He hands you the sketchpads, you quickly put it in your bag, “ Thanks.”

“ No problem. You just got out of class?,” he asked intently looking at you.

His hair is pushed back by his headband, showing his forehead, he’s wearing his usual baggy grandpa clothes. It makes your heart flutter, but you quickly push the feeling away. “ Yeah, but I have to go back to pick up my two pieces,” you shrug. 

“ You need a hand?” He offers with a careful smile.

You contemplate, you don’t want to make two trips, “ If you’re not busy…”

He eagerly shakes his head. “ I’m not, let me help.” Taehyung follows you to the art room, and picks up the pieces easily despite it being large canvases. There’s silence when you are done putting it in your car. 

“ Thank you,” you give him a grateful smile. “ Do you need to ride home?”

Taehyung took his car to campus but he lies, he accepts your offer in hopes that you guys can talk things over. The radio is on low, and Taehyung is almost near his apartment, “ I lied I don’t need a ride,” he starts off and you let out a surprise laugh.

“ Why are you just telling me now?,” you are about two minutes from the destination. 

“ I wanted to talk to you about what happened to us-”

You sigh, not wanting to reopen bandage wounds on your heart, “ Taehyung, I’m over it-” 

His head turns to face you, “ I love you. I think I always loved you since we became friends. I was scared to tell you because it was something so new for me...I was selfish, I thought that everything we had was fine but I never took your feelings into consideration.” He’s breathing really hard because he finally confessed his heart out, something he vowed he’ll never do since he was a child. 

“ Why? Why now?,” you swallow hard, not looking at him but only the road. Scared that if you look into his eyes, you’ll get lost into them. 

“ It took me a while to come in terms with how I am feeling. Because love is messy right?,” his voice cracks.

The car is now parked in his driveway, “ Yeah, it is.” Turning to finally face him, he has little tears in his eyes that haven’t fallen. “ I still love you, Taehyung,” your hand touches his soft cheek, caressing it. Taehyung leans closer to you and you close your eyes expecting a kiss, instead he sobs against your neck. Feeling wet tears against your neck, you try to coddle him but the tight space in the car is not giving you any room to do so. “ Tae, why are you crying?,” you comb the back of his curls.

Taehyung pulls away giving you a tearful smile, “ Because for the first time in my life I know what love is.”

end.

#bts #bts fic #BTS jimin #bts taehyung #btsfanfic #bangtan smut #btstae #bts imagine #bts one shot #bts blurbs #taehyung smut #Taehyung one shot #taehyung #taehyung fluff #taehyung and jimin #tae #taehyung angst #taehyung x oc #taehyung x you #taehyung x y/n #taehyung x reader #bts namjoon #bts hoseok #BTS jin #bts angst #bts fluff #bts smut #btssmut

[angelofmusings]

marvel you absolute cowards all you had to do was give us ONE immortal aro character without then turning them mortal for the express purpose of being able to experience romance. and yet. the only one who gets turned mortal is the one who didn’t really do the whole romance thing. would it not make more sense for one of the others? the ones who have human partners, and will inevitably end up outliving them and staying young as their partners age? but no. the most important thing is to make sure that everyone has a chance to fall in love. like shut the fuck up, good job giving a bit of amatonormative gay representation, but why is the main concern in a literal action movie still about romance?

#i’m so sorry for what they did to you sprite. you deserved so much better. it’s so so important that your suffering is caused by being #left out of options that everyone else gets. and it isn’t your fault. literally the rest of the eternals were like ‘oh this teenager is #going through a lot emotionally right now #and so are the rest of us. so let’s make irrevocable decisions in the name of enabling romance. which is obviously the main goal here.’ #the eternals #the eternals spoilers #mcu spoilers #angelofmusings lives up to their url

[0vorenation0]

Work Smarter, Not Harder

Cole was the college quarterback for the Panthers, he worked his whole life for a shot at being a college quarterback and then play professional. All he worked on was his body and his arm, so he could throw the ball down the field. Cole was a badass quarterback his first year he already took his team to state. Cole was an ass tho, always such a bully and a jerk. He would mess with Paul the nerd of the college, Paul was very smart. He was already gonna be valedictorian, but Cole always saw him as a push around. He would mess with him throw balls at him and make fun of the way he dressed.

One day Paul was walking through the gym to get to his geometry class when Cole stopped him. “Hey Paul get your ass over here, I need u to do my homework” Cole asked but Paul knew it wasn’t a question but a demand. “Fuck off Cole I’m not doing ur homework anymore fine someone else.” Paul said as he stood up to him. Cole shocked and angry grabbed Paul “Listen to me u little twerp I’m gonna come by ur house tonight and if my homework isn’t done I’m gonna best ur ass, now get on before I take u in the locker rooms and shove ur head in the toilet” Cole let go of his shirt and pushed him away. Paul cowarded in fear and anger and went on to his dorm.

When Paul got to his dorm he threw his bag on the ground and jumped on his bed. He grabbed his pillow and screamed “FUCK YOU COLE”. He got out Coles homework and finished it, but Paul wrote all the wrong answers so he would look like a fool. As soon as he was done he heard a knock on the door, it was Cole and he busted in. “Hey fuck face is it done?” Paul responded “hey it’s done, here” Paul handed him the work. “Good job, here my calculus work” Paul snapped and stood up and with ungodly strength he punched Cole right in the gut. Knocking the wind out of him and he collapsed on the floor.

Paul calmed and looked at his hands, he was shocked and stared at his hands. The strength seemed to come out of know where. After the punch another side of Paul came out. Cole managed to pick himself off the ground in anger and tried to swing at Paul, but Paul dodged it. He grabbed coles arms and twisted them behind him and held him to the bed. Paul was enjoying himself and he finally began to realize the more he touched Cole the stronger he got. He felt a twitch in his pants and noticed he was hard and his hard on was massive and startj g to hurt in his jeans.

He let loose his jeans and his massive cock swung out and hit the ground, his cock was easily ten times the side of his normal size. He felt powerful and felt an emptiness inside his cock. Almost a hungry feeling, he grabbed it and started to rub it, all of this was so strange. Cole kicked and squirmed to break free of Paul’s grip and Cole turned his head and saw the massive cock growing hard. Cole freaked and said, “PLEASE down fuck me, Paul, I’m not GAY!!!!” Paul had no plan to fuck him but his cock was craving something else them an ass. It craved and entire man, Paul let go of Cole. Cole turned to punch Paul again but he dived it again and his hand went passed his head and straight into the massive cock.

Cole tried to pull his hand out but it was stuck from the suction, he moved his other hand towards his hand to get a better grip but then his other hand was sucked in. He looked up at Paul who was both grinning and had his eyebrows raised. Paul was so confused about how this was happening but his inner dark mind wanted Cole to suffer as he suffered. He actually wasn’t guilty at all watching Cole plead for his life as his forearms were sucked in drawing his head closer and closer with every pulse of his cock.

Coles's head was inches away from the cock slit that was going to suck him in when Paul grabbed his hair and pulled up. Their eyes met and Paul spoke “this is for the worst year of my life u arrogant bastard, u made my life hell u dick. No one will no where ur stupid slef went, I hope u become a nice big load. I hear ur friend jack just came out as a gay sub maybe I’ll go meet him and blow ur cummifed remains into his ass. This feels so good knowing that I will have the last laugh, goodbye fuck face” and with that Paul lines his head up and Paul’s cock grows and expands over Cole's head.

The quarterback's body is slowly sucked in, every pulse of Paul’s cock takes in more and more of Cole. There’s was no escape for Cole now as he enter halfway inside the nerds cock. Paul could feel his cock slowly Glide and slide over ever slab of muscular ab. The jock worked his whole life for his body and he was about to be reduced to nothing but cum. He slide off Coles pants and underwear, Paul was surprised to see Coles ass and the object lodged inside it. Deep inside Coles asshole was a massive pink butt plug, Paul laughed and took a picture. “I’m gonna show all ur friends that u were a closet gay and that u liked getting fucked.” Paul pulled out the butt plug and threw it on his bed and slapped Coles ass as hard as he could.

The massive cock pulse big time and sucked in Coles ass and cock, Paul could feel every wiggle, squirm and fight that Cole made. Cole desperately wanted out and tired as hard as he could to squirm out but it was hopeless. Every attempted was like quicksand it just sucked him more and more, he slipped from the pre-cum covers fleshy walls. Soon to be his prison, Cole could feel himself getting pushed in from Paul. What was once pleading and begging turned into hatred and rage. He kicked and fought the whole way in and with that Paul pushed his legs and feet in. Cole was sent down the massive cock util he entered a large room, Coles head had entered the nerd's balls.

He slowly slide into the cum filled balls and curled into a ball, Coles anger turned to hopelessness and shame. He began to cry and wimpier like a little bitch, Paul rubbed his balls as he felt Cole squirm in them and sat down on his bed. He began to stroke his cock and felt the churning process begin. It wants long before Cole was completely turned to jizz, the poor Cole once a jock and the star quarterback turned into nothing but a load of jizz in a nerds balls. Paul was close and felt strange, not like a climax strange but a growth strange.

He absorbed all of Cole, and his muscles were distributed throughout Paul. He was no longer a nerd but a massive jock with muscles and pecs and abs. He smiled and jumped up still jerking his cock. He looked in the mirror and marveled at himself he was a stud and so hot. And once he saw himself he felt himself hit the climax, Paul felt his Balls tighten, and then she shot his laid out onto everything. He fell over and suddenly lay up in bed.

He looked down at his hands and they were still small and twinkish, he jumped out of bed and looked in the mirror. He was still a nerd and looked down at his underwear. They were covered in cum, “what it was all a dream, NO it felt so real that can’t be.” He beard his door get hammered and ran to the door and opened it, it was Cole look for his homework. “WTF U IDIOT I’ve been knocking for five mins didn’t u hear me. Where’s my work, and why are u covered in cum u gay boi.” Cole went over and pushed Paul, and saw his work on the bed. “ ahhh hear it is, u are good for one thing. Ewww, fuck Man ur cum is all over it WTF.” Paul still shocked that it was a dream and grabbed Coles's arm. Then he felt it, the ungodly strength he had felt in his dream. Paul pulled bakc his fist and ................

(Thanks to Louis or @masterlouistf for the pics and help!!!!)

#vorenation #cock vore

[bisexualoftheblade-old]

how many wips do you have? like what are they all, and not the number of wips in a fandom? what are all the names?

okay. fuck you. fuck you so much. fuck you.

i’m putting this under a read more cut no one else deserves to see this shit. a lot of these are requests, and for those i will just write out the request itself

Shadowhunters:

domestic polycule fluff with tem, jessa, and will because im not a coward

Supernatural

- hehe hoho i request destiel hehehe

- request 61/? cai cai cai cai i need you to rewrite the destiel scene but yk. GOOD. not like i'm in the know about the spn fandom or anything, it's been years for me. but DO IT

Bright Sessions

- caleb/adam grisha AU

- mark bryant vs. united states aka sue the AM

- caleb/adam college fluff

Umbrella Acaademy

- request 31/? i want a ben and klaus drabble please spare me some brotherly bickering

- AND SO BEGINS NIGHT 4 with request 13/? oooh oooh can i get a raymond and allison playlist??? i think their vibes together would SLAP

- hi there night 2 is technically morning 3 but who's counting not me anyway request 5/? can i get a ben moodboard? gotta rep my tua bb

Percy Jackson

- request 9/? can i get a percabeth moodboard or quote edit?? like god they're the og couple goals take me back to high school cai

- For the 100 follower things :D Jercy getting caught in the rain

- request 29/? a drabble about literally anything to do with pjo. i’ll be happy with anyone and anything i’m love these children

- *somersaults in like I’m a real fancy acrobat* hello ello ello may I request some camp half blood chaos possible involving *does a flip* ✨side characters✨ <3

Penumbra Podcast 

- request 52/? drabble about the penumbra podcast. this is for ren bc ren likes it and i don't actually know anything about it. juno? i think? that's the one ren likes. write it for ren

- Tpp ghost hunting / buzzfeed unsolved au

- sad juno smut

- final resting place fic go brrrr

Marvel

- request 6/? i'm going to my roots y'all can i get a spider-man playlist? if not a playlist then i'd honestly be happy with literally anything involving spider-man

- request 15/? i'm going crazy this is recorded evidence of me actually losing it ANYWAY can i get a quote edit for something from iron man? literally anything that man says is gold so cai's choice :D he deserved better in endgame i'm still bitter

- request 42/? do another spidey thing that differs from the other spidey thing

- request 73/? you have Opinions. rant about infinity way and/or endgame. go.

- request 74/? quote edit for deadpool!!

- spideytorch relationship character study

- peter parker as a tired grad student monitoring the young avengers (send help)

Six of Crows

- okay listen i wasn't going to request anything bc i worry about you but also? if you want to/have the time hit me with a playlist for our girl nina zenik

- request 43/? fuckin give me the ending anya should have had. she is alive and with her new son and having a great time

- request 45/? inej moodboard?

- request 47/? will you make literally any meme of your choosing for six of crows?

- request 48/? write a drabble for kaz, my favorite bastard

- okay so i don't actually like nina or mattias that much but i still wanna hear about your thoughts (and also see if you'll change my mind)

- kaz brekker turning 18 fic. birthday party, everyone singing, whole shebang. i need it stat

- religious trauma fic aka i started shipping kaz/alina/inej and i can’t stop

- kaz trauma soup (he has D.I.D. and you can’t prove me wrong)

- my two redacted fics for @grishaversebigbang​

- wesper fake dating

- six of crows bright sessions crossover: everyone gets therapy

TMA

- uhh... s1 gang having a nice time? melanie getting to have some Pride™️? some "fun" horror thing?

- request 7/? spare steph and jason bonding? please sir? spare some for a humble child such as myself?

- okay so this was meant for night 3 but i had midterm shit SO this is honorary night 3 let's DO THIS request 8/? i want a moodboard of extremely out of context magnus archives shit like i mean confuse the FUCK out of me i don't go here i know Nothing about it

- request 11/? OKAY so i need tim stoker meeting tim drake now i need my timmy to meet your tim plus i want to see character differences no i'm not trying to create a tim stoker in my head so i can read a's fic while NOT thinking of tim drake whaaaaaat you're crazy

- request 18(i think)/? i need a quote edit of every time within the first like. 15 eps of tam where jon is like “sounds fake but go off” thank u bb

- request 40/? i challenge you to write a tma drabble based only on the episodes i've heard. i'm currently halfway through episode 23

- Jon being lovingly bullied into taking a break. I'm aware this has been written a million times but it is one of my favorite things.

- spiral!sasha AU

- extinction martin go brrrrr

- high school era timsasha. they've both been friends for years, and everyone always asks when they will be a couple. they decide to fake date, to prove everyone wrong and show what a bad couple they would be. turns out that's a bit trickier than they thought

- after sasha comes back, tim is broken. he can't let go, scared that if he looks away for even a minute he'll lose her again. sasha suggests shibari as a way for him to give up control

- sasha pov mag 19 au, sacrificing herself to save the others, knows that if she gives herself up to the not!them it will let the others live

- this is the "tim finds a polaroid of sasha" trope

- early archives days,, long nights in research,,, clothes sharing,, somft. late nights and falling asleep at their desks warm and safe in the other's presence

- two parts: timsasha as kids, each picking a constellation that is "theirs". just soft kid antics. tim at sasha's grave glancing up to see their constellations

- continuing your job’s a joke (you’re broke)

DC Comics

- TIMSTEPH HADESTOWN AU,,,

- my redacted fic for @batfam-big-bang​

- request for you to get a decent amount of sleep? serious answer, dickkori, SAL's Venus

- request 4/? timsteph morning after 👀 mayhaps?

- a concept: nonbinary stephanie brown

- teehee hi mom, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but can i request damian angst for your accomplishments 100 followers?

- hi you can ignore my first request if you want, or you can ignore this one. but bls possibly write some bikini ra’s? -the bikini bitch

- request 27/? jay is asking through me for a jondami playlist but tbh i also want it so win win yk?

- "I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does" with bruce and jason? im just craving bruce being a good day to jason for once

- “I am putting you in time out because you need to understand the consequences of your actions.” with steph and jason as dumbass disaster bi best friends pretty please?

- request 32/? timsteph patrol date!!!

- request 33/? timsteph *gala* date? mayhaps??

- request 37/? tim drake drabble but make it Edgy cai

- request 39/? drabble of a prank war between tim and damian

- joyfire cuddly fluff please? or like just any outlaw fluff if joyfire isnt your thing (feel free to add every member of the outlaws, dont feel like u gotta stick with jason, kori, roy i love them all)

- barbara and robin! jason fluff? bonding over books or something?

- request 62/? i need a drabble about the chaotic trio jason, tim, and steph i'm love them ty

- request 63/? batfam x mcu crossover. batfam meets ironfam. give me ALL the cliches. ALL OF THEM

- request 64/? young justice x young avengers - jay cuz idk SHIT about the young avengers

- request 66/? jondami moodboard pls and ty

- request 67/? timsteph moodboard!!!!!!

- request 69/? HEHEHE kinky 😏 i would v much like a timsteph drabble of the almost first time. does that make sense? like i don't want you to go all the way NSFW cuz i know that's against the rules and i'm a rule follower. but like they *almost* go all the way. this could be fade to black or some shit i don't care just make it a lil steamy and have Fun

- i request damian angst! all of it

- hmm... maybe i request? jondami?

- mayhaps,,,,some batfam,,,,,committing crimes? ily be gay do crime <3 - lu

- How about a ficlet with Steph and Cass?

Found Family Bingo Prompts

- no powers au

- tunnel

- first day

- join the club

- hurt/comfort

- experiment

- playing favorites

- hold on

- possession

- 10 o’clock

- singing

- road

- snitch

- curfew

- timer

- fantasy au

- zombie au

- dreams

- campfire

- are you okay

- movie night

- games

- scared

Miscellaneous

- a request: Write A Drabble, Coward

- is it too late to request a moodboard for me?

- request 20/? i’m going off book because i’m in a Chaotic Mood™️ can you just absolutely vibe check me like go off cai demolish me

- request 21/? i formally request that you pick a favorite cai. i don’t care what that favorite pertains to, just pick a favorite something

- request 23/? roast me

- request 24/? can i have a buzzfeed unsolved spoopy playlist but spoiler alert it’s not spoopy bc shane doesn’t believe does this make sense it has been a Day™️

- request 25/50 i want a jake and amy fic make it Soft cai i’m love them b99 is so good

- request 28/? i know nothing about the lord of the rings so make something that will confuse the shit out of me

- request 34/? malvie and jaylos moodboards 😈

- request 35/? a moodboard for the bbb mods!! perceive all of us!!!

- request 36/? moodboard for the tua mods too???? mayhaps??

- request 41/? doctor WHO? idk but i want a drabble of him and the one character i know from doctor who which is rose

- request 46/? make an alignment meme with our group, have fun!!!

- request 49/? i want you to kin assign me a character from every fandom you can/want to. go feral

- request 50!!!!/? this is a special request. the most special request. can you make a bastards tbh playlist? i want our vibes encapsulated. i want us in music form. i want to hear those songs and be like "that's me and cai" and smile.

- requests 51/? i know jack shit about good omens. explain it to me in the most confusing way possible. make me know less by the end than i know now

- request 53/? can you write a mel aesthetic? i'm Curious

- request 54/? give me a list of book recs cai i want some good book recs pls

- request 56/? edit a picture of US together too

- request 58/? oooh can i have a disney edit? like. hm. i just really love disney and i want anything to do with disney. like a quote or an aesthetic or an aesthetic edit i just want disney.

- request 59/? i would v much like a recipe for carbonara. i've never had it but it sounds fucking delicious

- request 60/? ooh hey can i get a makeup tutorial? i know you like makeup, i'm shit at doing makeup. teach me

- request 65/? i need the most emo playlist you can make that vibes with dear evan hansen thank you

- request 68/? i want a superwholock moodboard. this can be serious, with the actual fandoms in mind, or literally what the era felt like. the insanity. the horror.

- request 70/? ooh ooh ooh do you have a good bread recipe?? i wanna get that bread

- request 71/? i want a playlist with the vibes of summoning a demon. please don't ask questions. i don't have answers. and if i do, no i don't.

- For the requests, how about writing something based on a friend?

- request 75/? MMMM i want literally anything to do with natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812

- request 76/? i want some healthy recipes. help a girl out

- a feral bbb quote or two?

- you perceive my plant but now I dare thee to perceive mine own visage

- okay this is a two for one request. 1. you did the bee movie script so now we need a shrek two script edit 2. sleep please

- Pansexual mb for my lil queer soul?

- my (probably) final request is just for you to ramble about something, i don't really care what

- HI ILY CONGRATS AS WELL CAUSE IM LATE BUT CONGRATS. could i request a pirates of the caribbean (or just pirates) or whatever you what to do, free range.

- mood board for the beluga whales who got brought to the animal sanctuary in Iceland please?

- 100 follower request: Moodboard for my stuffed cow Oaky?

#cai's 200 #asks #mininacl

[pomegranateanarchist]

things I liked about where mischief lies

Loki is SOFT as HELL in this book holy SHIT

his obvious crush on Amora is so cute I love him

fuckinnn yearning for Theo being in denial but describing his freckles as STARS ugh he’s a simp

he’s also really fucking dumb?? he pretends to be suave and charming but he’s not he trips over things and says stupid shit when he’s in disguise and he’s just an idiot I love that for him

make Loki an idiot 2k20

a campaign I will run for the rest of my life

still extremely capable though!!! I loved the balance of “this is a stupid teenager who doesn’t know how not to be awkward” and “this is an extremely dangerous, clever, and powerful figure”

he is OBSESSED with the way he looks literally the third page of the book is devoted to his outfit and how much he loves his heeled boots

painted nails!!!

I love it because he’s been vain since the day he was born but it’s a more innocent vanity. he’s so convinced that he can’t be liked or admired, so insecure about being the second son. he chooses to look a certain way because at the same time that he wants people to like him, he’s convinced himself that they won’t. for him, deviation from the norm is a form of yearning for acceptance. whereas in the MCU, his vanity is portrayed as an egotistical cry for attention (see full-tilt diva). and yeah, it kind of was in wml, too, but he was a kid who just wanted to be liked. it’s more forgivable, younger, purer.

the fact that he had sex with Amora just. under a Ouija board table is never not going to be funny to me

there was a BED nearby you could have USED it she has CHAMBERS why did you do this

I’ve just realized that this means it’s canon that Loki fucks

I mean we been knew but it’s confirmed now

give Loki a string of all-gendered lovers in the show 2k20

another campaign I will run for the rest of my life, despite the fact that the show is already written and Marvel is full of cowards

the portrayal of his inner conflict was so fucking good the scene where he watches Amora drain Rachel what’s-her-name UGH

even when he makes the claim that he’s “decided to be evil” or whatever, he’s still unsure of it. he’s choosing the narrative because he believes he has to. he sees his character flaws, he knows that he is capable of becoming the god of mischief written in the mythology, but he always hesitates. when Amora kills Mrs. Sharp, he bites his tongue, but he’s clearly conflicted. he knows what he’s supposed to be, but he still has a faint hope that he doesn’t have to become that person. we see this in the MCU mainly through Tom Hiddleston’s acting choices (and the occasional well-placed bit of dialogue), but it’s lovely to read it so clearly.

he disdains humans SO much at the beginning but he really does grow to enjoy their company and I think it’s Fun and Spicy that he learns some level of empathy for them even if it’s reluctant

can’t stop thinking about “do you have a preference? between men and women?” “I feel equally comfortable as either”

he is constantly describing both Amora and Theo’s lips

WAIT I forgot he and Theo have a “there’s only one bed” moment in the middle??? my heart could not handle it I filtered it out

I also just loved reading a story that was really wholly his. compared with other Loki content, Thor barely appears in the book. a key component of Loki’s character is comparing himself to thor, true, but allowing him to exist outside of the sphere of Asgardian influence (read: constantly being compared to his older brother) really gave his character a chance to flourish.

the transition from desperately wanting to paint himself as the hero to confessing his theft of the stones ENDED me ugh

swallowing his pride at the beginning because of how Odin would react to defiance vs. throwing caution to the wind and full on SCREAMING at his father at the end??? show stopping. ethereal. magnificent.

this book made me forget about Infinity War and I thank god for that every day

I could probably write another several thousand words about this book but in conclusion, Loki is genderfluid and pansexual, he deserves a soft gay engineer boyfriend, and every piece of MCU content needs to be remade with him in stiletto boots as god intended

#where mischief lies #loki #my boyfriend #marvel #loki: where mischief lies #thor #amora #theo bell #am I simping at 11:45 p.m. EST?? #of course #honestly I'm simping 24/7 #this is a great place to be

[susiephone]

my big gay folklore narrative

This is my best construction of the folklore narrative, specifically the Teenage Love Triangle. While some of these connections are obvious, some are just me going full Pepe Silvia and interpreting the characters in ways you may disagree with. And, again, this is super-duper gay. (Yes, James is female in my mind. I know a lot of people point out it can be a girl’s name -- which it can, so valid -- but I personally like to imagine she’s one of like 20 Jessicas or Ashleys at their school and goes by her last name. Either way, it works.)

Our story is set in a small town in Pennsylvania in the late 90s/early 2000s, and it concerns four girls: James, Betty, Inez, and August. I will do this story roughly chronological order, but due to the nature of the album there will be some jumping.

seven

When Betty is young, things at home aren’t easy. Her father is abusive and she doesn’t feel safe there, but she does have solace in a childhood friend of hers. Her friend does her best to protect her (“I think you should come live with me, and we can be pirates, and you won’t have to cry, or hide in the closet”), and they love each other very much.

Sadly, her friend moves out of Pennsylvania with her family when they’re young, and because this is pre-internet, they lose track of each other, and years later, Betty’s friend only half-remembers her -- but she still holds a fond place in her heart. (“And even though I can’t recall your face, I still got love for you.”)

cardigan / exile / august / betty

I’m lumping these four together because I think they all happen in the same year or so, constantly overlapping each other.

Flash forward to high school. By now, Betty’s father has left her and her mother, which is for the best, but the whole ordeal was pretty traumatic. (“I knew you, leaving like a father, running like water.”) She’s bisexual but closeted, and James is one of her classmates. James is a rebellious tomboy and it’s basically an open secret among the adults (and most of their classmates) that she’s probably a lesbian, but she’s still closeted. (“I’m only seventeen, I don’t know anything.”)

The two girls become close friends, and eventually begin kissing and holding hands in private, but both are too scared to go further, or to come out and say that they really care for each other. Betty tries to broach the topic multiple times, but James brushes her off.

Finally, Betty plucks up the courage to suggest she and James go to the spring dance together, as a couple, and let the chips fall where the may.

James, in true disaster lesbian fashion, freaks the fuck out and says “no,” even claiming it was only a fling to her. Which is total crap, and deep down they both know it, but Betty’s really hurt. The night of the dance, James has a change of heart, realizes she needs to take a stand and show Betty how much she loves her (“Tried to change the ending, Peter losing Wendy”), so gets all dolled up and she goes to the dance... and sees Betty dancing with a guy. (“I can see you starin', honey, like he's just your understudy. Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me. Second, third, and hundredth chances, balancin' on breaking branches. Those eyes add insult to injury.” / “I hate the crowds, you know that. Plus, I saw you dance with him.”)

Hurt and angry, James leaves. Betty follows, and they have a massive fight; James accuses Betty of using her, while Betty calls her a coward. (“You never gave me a sign.” “I gave so many signs!”) They call things off and it’s miserable.

While James is walking home from the dance, August, a classmate of theirs who’s out and proud, offers her a ride home. (“High heels on cobblestones” / “I was walking home on broken cobblestones, just thinking of you when she pulled up like a figment of my worst intentions. She said "James, get in, let's drive.”) Soon, this turns into a fling. Being with August is a nice distraction, and helps James fully come to terms with the fact that she’s gay, but she desperately misses Betty. However, when Inez finds out August and James are a thing, she mentions it to Betty, who responds by avoiding James altogether.

Unbeknownst to James, August is really falling for her. August, meanwhile, is aware that she’s a runner-up to who James really wants, but she hopes that eventually James will see her the same way she sees her. (“For me, it was enough to live for the hope of it all. Canceled plans just in case you'd call and say, ‘Meet me behind the mall.’ So much for summer love and saying ‘us,’ ‘cause you weren't mine to lose.”)

But summer ends, and James breaks things off with August, determined to get Betty back. She works up the courage to go to Betty’s party, ask forgiveness, and rekindle their relationship; for real this time. (“Will you have me? Will you love me? Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends? If you kiss me, will it be just like I dreamed it? Will it patch your broken wings? I'm only seventeen, I don't know anything, but I know I miss you. Standing in your cardigan, kissing in my car again. Stopped at a streetlight, you know I missed you.”)

mirrorball

I like to imagine “mirrorball” is told from the perspective of Inez, the school gossip. James claims “you can’t believe a word she says most times,” which I take to mean that she has a bit of rep, and is known to exaggerate. I think Inez is one of those girls who became the girl who’s up in everyone’s business because she wants people to like and pay attention to her, but doesn’t think she’s impressive enough on her own. (“I can change everything about me to fit in.”) And, to an extent, it works. When something happens, people look to her to get the dirt. Whether the story she circulates is true is an entirely different matter. (“I can show you every version of yourself tonight.”)

The result is, well into adulthood, Inez has a reputation for being a “people person,” but deep down, she feels like she’s faking it. (“I’ve never been a natural; all I do is try, try, try.”)

the 1

This song is from August’s perspective years later, when she’s all grown up and looking back at her fling with James. She’s doing good these days, dating people and living her life, but she does think back on what could’ve been. She’s not bitter, but she does wonder how life might’ve turned out if James picked her instead of Betty. (“It would’ve been fun if you would’ve been the one...”)

hoax / peace

These two also take place at roughly the same time, as Betty and James finish high school as a couple and finally truly grow up. (“Our coming-of-age has come and gone. Suddenly this summer, it's clear, I never had the courage of my convictions as long as danger is near.”)

Between the reactions of people around them, both of their insecurities, Betty’s history of people hurting her, and James’ impulsiveness, things aren’t easy. (“I could never give you peace.” / “Stood at the cliffside, screaming, ‘Give me a reason.’”) However, neither are willing to call it quits. (“Don’t want no other shade of blue but you.”)

So, things aren’t all rosy right away. But they resolve to make it work. (“All these people think love’s for show, but I would die for you in secret.”) It takes a long time, but I like to think that eventually, they do.

invisible string

This could be seen as being from either Betty or James’ perspective, years later - once they’ve both fully grown up and their relationship has matured. It talks about how past bad relationships led them to each other. As we’ve seen, both were with people who weren’t right for them - but it all eventually led to them being able to be together. (“Were there clues I didn't see? And isn't it just so pretty to think, all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?”)

the last great american dynasty

This is totally irrelevant to the love triangle, but how fun is it to imagine this song as one of Inez’s many wild stories? As an adult, she’s making bank, and still drawing controversy everywhere--and loving it. (“I had a marvelous time ruining everything.”)

#folklore #teenage love triangle #the teenage love triangle #gaylor #betty #kaylor #taylor swift #abuse cw #suicide mention cw

[dangerouscommiesubversive]

Ahim, Doc, Gai (the less aggressive half of the gokaigers), E

Anon, you should know that the way you phrased this prompt ended up heavily influencing what I did with it.

E is for equal

They drop anchor and the first thing Doc says is, “We need groceries.”

Luka groans. Joe says, quietly, “I have weapons maintenance to do.” Marvelous doesn’t respond at all, because he’s asleep in his chair.

Ahim, though, stands up immediately. “I will accompany you.” She’s already pulling on her gloves. “I also need to make some purchases, I’ve fallen behind in the ship’s mending. Gai, I’m going to require a large amount of fabric, will you also come with us, please?”

Gai beams at her. “I’d love to!”

--

The door slams open, and the whole room is filled with the delighted howl of, “We’re gonna be rich!”

Urak scowls. “Zou, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Bounties! Bounties on the hoof!” The door shuts, and Zou slumps back against it, panting, a wide grin on his face. “A red galleon just docked down at the port.”

“No.”

“Yes!”

“You’re shitting me. There have to be other red galleons out there, you can’t have just spotted the Gokai Pirates.”

“Saw the insignia on the mainsail. Plain as fucking day. And get this, they’re split up, three of them went to go shopping. If we play this right, we can snag all of them and be swimming in zagins.”

There’s a long pause as Urak’s eyebrow goes up and up and up, and then he says, “You’re fucking serious. The Gokai Pirates are actually in port.”

“Would I lie to you?”

The eyebrow goes up further. It’s well past the crown of Urak’s head now.

“Right, yeah, I’d lie to my head-mother if there was enough money in it. But look, I got a picture.” Zou fumbles in all four of his sleeves before producing his portable comm unit and pulling up the screen. “See, right, there’s the ship--”

“Fuck. That is the Gokai Galleon.”

“I told you--and there’s the three who got off.” A few button-presses, and three bounty notifications pull up along the side of the screen, each picture matching the face of one of the people disembarking. “So that one there’s Don Dogoier, he’s a famous coward--”

--

Doc frowns at the various fish on ice in the market stall. “None of this looks like the best of today’s catch.”

The fishmonger just gives a rippling shrug. “Should’ve shown up earlier if you wanted the best of it.”

“That would’ve been impossible, we just arrived in port.” Doc stares at the fishmonger thoughtfully for a moment. “In any case, I know that’s not all you’ve got, where’s the good stuff?”

--

“And that one there’s the crown princess of Famille--”

“The planet with all the vineyards, the one where rich idiots used to go on vacation? Didn’t that one get destroyed?”

“Yeah, ages ago. Anyway, she’s cute for a hominid, I guess, but from the looks of her I’m surprised she can even lift that little umbrella she’s got.”

--

Ahim adjusts her grip on her parasol and nods cheerfully. “Yes, this is precisely what I’m looking for. I’ll require, hm...eight meters of the pale pink silk, ten meters of the light white cotton and seven of the heavy, and four meters of both in black, four meters each of the blue, red, and green satins there and three of the silver, and--oh, lovely, is that a wool there? Five meters of the yellow wool. And six meters of that canvas, the undyed one.” As the cloth merchant’s assistants scramble to begin cutting, she taps her chin with one gloved finger and then says, “And tools and notions, where do you keep those?”

“Right over here, Your Highness.” The cloth merchant has a look on their face like they’ve just struck gold as they start pulling out trays. “Was there anything in particular you were looking for?”

--

“Who the hell is...” Urak squints at the bounty notice and reads, haltingly, “Ekarry Gae?”

Zou shrugs. “No clue. Some hick they picked up recently, barely has a bounty to speak of. Looks like he weighs fifteen zagrets soaking wet.”

--

To his credit, Gai only stumbles slightly when he’s been loaded down with Ahim’s packages. Then, looking across the market, he brightens. “Hey, I can’t read that script, but that looks like a grocer, am I right? The one next to the vegetable stand?”

Ahim peers at the stall he’s pointing to. “Dry goods and confections, it says.”

“Even better! Here, Don’s still haggling with the butcher, let’s walk over there together, I’m going to get ingredients to make some candies for us. I haven’t had a chance to make candy in ages. Don’s going to want to buy vegetables anyway, he can meet us over there.”

--

“So this’ll be a breeze, then. They’ll have to go back through the port outskirts to get to their ship, we’ll get the drop on them...” Urak frowns at the map Zou’s pulled up before tapping a spot, “here, it’s got some good cover. Worst case scenario, we get three decent bounties.”

Zou nods enthusiastically. “Best case scenario, we can use them as hostages to draw out the other three and then we’ll be in for the real money.” There’s a symphony of popping noises as he cracks his knuckles, all twenty-eight of them. “We’re gonna be rich.”

--

Laden with groceries, fabric, and two different packages of magazines and books, Doc, Ahim, and Gai make their way back to the Galleon. It’s been a long shopping trip; the planet’s first sunset has nearly begun. Ahim hums cheerfully as she walks, parasol propped on her shoulder. “This has been a lovely day, I look forward to the work ahead of me.”

There’s a footstep behind them, and an unpleasantly damp and crackly voice says, “Isn’t going to be anything ahead of you, Your Highness.”

All three of them stop dead. Doc and Gai both turn slightly to look behind them, conveniently placing their backs to Ahim’s as someone else steps out in front of her. This one doesn’t sound nearly so wet, but does have four arms and three legs, so it’s sort of a different concern. “Nothing but a Zangyack prison cell and then execution.”

And Gai immediately, palpably relaxes. “Oh. You’re interested in our bounties, right?”

The damp one, whose single eye is a vomitous shade of orange, says, “Obviously.”

Doc sighs. “I guess we should have expected something like this.” He glances around for a clear spot and then, when he finds one, carefully sets down his bags. “They have gone up since the last time we made port here.”

“What in the hells made you three decide to go out without your scary buddies?” says the one with four arms.

“Oh, dear.” Ahim sets down her parasol and her own bags next to Doc’s, and then helps Gai put down his before taking off her white lace gloves. “I’m afraid you’re very mistaken, sir.”

An eyebrow arches up and up, past the top of the damp one’s head, as it says, “Mistaken? About what?”

She beams at it. “You seem to think we’re not the frightening ones.”

“Yeah.” Gai rolls his neck. “It’s sort of funny, actually.”

Doc sighs. “Funny, they say. I need to get this meat into the refrigerator, I don’t have time for this.”

--

Navi shrieks, “They’re back!” and Marvelous doesn’t quite rush to relieve Doc of his packages, although he does move at a speed slightly above a walk.

“What the hell happened to you?” he says, eyeing the smudge of dirt on Doc’s cheek as he takes the packages of meat. “Is that blood in your hair?”

“Oh, it’s definitely blood, but don’t worry about it.” Gai is unloading folded lengths of fabric into one of the cabinets at Ahim’s cheerful direction. There’s a long cut on his forehead, and another one in the sleeve of his jacket, neither of which he seems concerned by. “It’s not his.”

#don dogoier #ahim de famille #ikari gai #fanfiction #anonamouse

[sinagrace]

As Pride Month comes to a close, it’s time I spoke candidly about my experience at Marvel Comics.

To date, I’ve always been honest about the joy of writing Iceman’s journey as an out gay superhero, but I’ve skirted around the challenges that came along with it. This is partially because I prefer to give off an upbeat vibe, and there’s also a fear that my truth will affect my career. With more corporations patting themselves on the back for profit-led partnerships wherein celebrities take selfies in rainbow apparel, and with buzz that Marvel Studios is preparing to debut their first gay character in the upcoming Eternals movie, there is an urgency to discuss the realities of creating queer pop culture in a hostile or ambivalent environment. Hopefully, my takeaways will serve as a guide for people in positions of power to consider when advocating for more nuanced and rich representation. In an ideal world, embracing our stories and empowering us to tell them will yield far more profitable (and way less messy) results than what I encountered while writing Iceman.

Stand by your people

It’s no surprise that I got the attention of trolls and irate fans for taking on this job. There was already backlash around the manner in which Bobby Drake aka Iceman came out, and Marvel needed to smooth that landing and put a “so what” to the decision. After a point, I could almost laugh off people making light of my death, saying they have "cancerous AIDS" from my book, or insinuating I’m capable of sexual assault… almost. Between Iceman’s cancellation and its subsequent revival, Marvel reached out and said they noticed threatening behavior on my Twitter account (only after asking me to send proof of all the nasty shit popping up online). An editor called, these conversations always happen over the phone, offering to provide “tips and tricks” to deal with the cyber bullying. I cut him off. All he was going to do was tell me how to fend for myself. I needed Marvel to stand by me with more work opportunities to show the trolls that I was more than a diversity hire. “We’ll keep you in mind.” I got so tired of that sentence. 

Even after a year of the new editor-in-chief saying I was talented and needed to be on a book that wasn’t “the gay character,” the only assignment I got outside of Iceman was six pages along, about a version of Wolverine where he had diamond claws. Fabulous, yes. Heterosexual, yes. Still kind of the gay character, though.

We as creators are strongly encouraged to build a platform on social media and use it to promote work-for-hire projects owned by massive corporations… but when the going gets tough, these dudes get going real quick. 

Believe in the work

You may be asking if my Iceman book was any good, or if I’m just being sour grapes over a bad work experience. Believe me, I asked that, too. From the get-go, my first editor asserted that Iceman would be DOA if it were “too gay,” while also telling me to prepare for a cancellation anyway, given that most solo X-Men titles don’t last beyond a year. Never mind that my work on Iceman had gotten positive press in the New York Times (in-print), or that in spite of (since-deleted) critical sandbagging, the series nets glowing reviews on Amazon… Marvel still treated me as someone to be contained, and the book as something to be nervous about. Do you know how hard it is to not argue with a publicist when he’s explaining the value of announcing Iceman’s revival via the Marvel homepage? Sis, that’s a burial. Instead of clapping back, I just went and got myself more press from the New York Times. From there, they tightened my leash. I had to get all opportunities pre-approved, and all interviews pre-reviewed. This would be fine if it was the standard, but I assure you: none of my straight male colleagues seek permission to go on podcasts promoting their books. 

What Marvel should have done is assign me a special projects editor. They should have worked with a specialty PR firm, rather than repeat a tiresome cycle of treating the book like a square peg, and getting confused when it’s a hit. 

Give us a real seat at the table

There was a moment before Iceman was cancelled where I wrote then-editor-in-chief Axel Alonso an email, pleading for a Hail Mary arc. I explained that Iceman was landing with a newer generation of readers who focused more on binge-reading than month-to-month periodicals. The series needed time in the book market before its true strength could be assessed. To Axel’s credit, he was warm to the idea and even gave me an extra month, but when he left Marvel that idea got brushed away. Of course I was right. The first two volumes sold like gangbusters thanks to word-of-mouth, librarian love, and support from retailers big and small. 

When the series returned, no one at Marvel asked me: “What do you think landed with readers?” Nor did they ask the question that Axel did: “What matters to your community?” So when I wrote what I thought the fans would be into, a story about a man learning to be a better ally in the war against hate, editorial totally missed its value.

Seat at the table pt II: The Shade of it all

All of the weird drama I put up with crystallized when I created a drag queen mutant, first called Shade, now called Darkveil. I told my editor that Shade would be a big deal for X-Fans, and asked how we should promote her. He said: “leave it up to the reader’s interpretation.” Everyone at Marvel shrugged off two years of goodwill and acted like I’d coordinated behind their backs on an announcement that made headlines. Beyond mentioning on Instagram the queens who inspired the character, I didn’t coordinate shit. Of course, their head publicist can’t admit that my quotes were pre-approved from an unreleased interview. At this point, I stopped believing that there’d be any more work for me. There were so many shady moves on their end that I’m still having trouble putting into language, but it all aligned with an experience I had in retail where a corrupt manager kept lying and moving the goal posts in order to keep me selling in a department I didn’t want to work in. I offered to give Darkveil a proper character bio, and I walked away.  

I recognize that some of my complaints can be filed under “this is freelance life.” I am aware that it was not a queer person of color who joked to me that “it’s not a matter of if Marvel fucks you over, it’s a matter of when.” That came from a cis white male. The same-day turn-arounds without warning, the work emails on Christmas week… that’s the freelance bullshit. Truly, I don’t even think of this as discrimination, I call it general ineptness. It is my belief that if we are telling stories about heroes doing the right thing in the face of adversity, wouldn’t the hope be to embody those ideals as individuals? Instead of feeling like I worked with some of the most inspiring and brave people in comics, I was surrounded by cowards. 

Truly, I hate writing this. In keeping with Pride Month, I am proud of the work I did on Iceman... I love the book! It sucks that I may be tarnishing its legacy going public about how the cookies were made. That said, the time for self-congratulating is over, and folks should be earnestly listening when they ask: what could we have done better? 

[sapphicomenn]

WELCOME TO MY THOUGHTS WHILE REWATCHING THE MCU IN TIMELINE ORDER: CAPTAIN MARVEL

wooshy blue magic and blood. how mysticy and unanswered it is

“wanna fight?” 💥P O W💥 also magic powers she cant use in every fight is a punch of bullshit. kill that dude, carol you dont need him >:T shapeshifting lizards are badguys. got it. also jude law is hot as hell

rescure mission. totally gonne get ambushed (update) FUCKING TOLD YOU IT WAS AN AMBUSH. NOW YALL LOST THE MAIN CHARACTER. WHO APPARENTLY LOST HER MEMORY. stupid lizard people

women airpilots fuck yeah! and possibly has a a girlfriend?? lesbian captain marval??——FUCK UP THEM LIZARDS. punch them in their stupid faces. fucking skRulL

BLOCKBUSTER

COULSONNN- FUURYY :D FIGHT BUT THIS TIME ON A TRAIN! +car crashes bc fury cant fuckinn drive. and apparently punching old ladys- SHES A IMPOSTOR. ew the shapeshifting is gross and horrifying. 6/10 do not recommend

awh stan lee, my heart hurts

of course car-coulson is a fake. next thing ya know a cat is gonna be some fucked up lizard. dead lizard man in a car is dead, yay. also more fuckedup techy shit and a old computer

ew gross perverted men, you steal his motorcycle. and alien autopsy is very ew. and old boss looking mf is also lizard how fucked are yall that you cant even trust the old boss looking guy?

“if toast is cut diagonally, i cant eat it.” yall heard it here first. fuck diagonally cut toast. photon blast go brrr

“everyone calls me fury.” thats gonna be important later on

this bastard got upset she had to lose the flannel she had on? shes gay. new info in the hall of records show one- old lady is a alien. and two- CAROL IS HUMAN AND TWAS ON EARTH

fury you mcfuck dont call in for backup. she has space blasters IN HER HANDS. thats someone you wanna fight??? old boss guy said nick. told yall it would be important

SPACE LESBIAN SAVES EARTH FRIEND FROM ALIEN LIZARD(NOT CLICKBAIT)

FLYING JET THINGY HELPS EM GO SEE CAROLS FORGOTTEN GIRLFRIEND! also HIDDEN CAT

“auntie carol” FUCKING FUCK. stupid child. carol and mariah are inlove yourhonor. and i will die on this hill

awkard neighbor interactions. blegh. JESUS FUCK THE LIZARD IS IN THE HOUSE. lizard men good??? good guys bad???? HA THE ALIENS ARE SCARED OF CATSKABSKHSSKJS

what the fuck is a flerkin?? why is the cat called a flerkin????? SPACE BATTLE WITH THE WOOSHING AND PEWS oh they got fucking merked and crashed. losers

GOODS GUYS ARE BAD I KNEW IT. LIZARD PPL GOOD I WAS FOOLED, WRONGED, AND BAMBOOZLED. carol fucking shot a space engine and got blued by magic shit. ORIGIN STORY COMPLETE SHE HAS BECOME THE ENGINE ITSELF

this is getting sad. i feel bad for ragging on the lizard people but at the same time HA HOMELESS. mariah go! yell your space- nOT BESTFRIEND NONKSJKSKSKS. JUDE LAW BAD. LIZARD GOOD

NOREX YOU STUPID LIZARD. HOW HARD IS IT TO FIGURE OUT ORBIT SHIT COMPARED TO CORDS ON EARTH🙄 talos shut the fuck up about the stupid cat. its a C A T !

floating space cat is adorable. 10/10

SPACE CUBE! TESSERACT! in a fucking tin lunchbox- bellowing call thingy to reconnect with lizard wife and child. beautiful moment in the movie right now 😌

ITS A TRAP. okay not really but THEY FOUND YALL FCKING RUN. DONT THROW THE CAT YOU MONSTERS. “jOg thE olD mEmoRy” shut the fuck up.

DONT PUT A MUZZEL ON THE CAT YOU WHORES WHAT THE FUCK IS A FLERKIN ANYWAY

gas-lighting, manipulating fuckers of a alien race deserve kicks to the teeth. stand up to them carol, you got this. KICK THEIR ASS.

all lesbians glow. she-ra, captain marvel, korra, etc. they’re that badass. HOLY SHIT THE CAT HAS FUCKIJG CUTHULU IN ITS MOUTH JEUSS CHRIST. “im trusting you, not to eat me.” YOU BETTER HAVE MORE THEN TRUST, FURY

GOOSE YOU BEAUITFUL OCTOPUS MOUTH CAT GOOD FOR YOU EATING THE GLOWY CUBE

im just a girl playing in the background while danvers kicks the kree ass is amazing.

“do you have the thing?” “flerkin kittu ate it.”

bombs go brrrr. why is minerva so pretty its unfair. space ships also go brrr

FLYING SPACE GAY, HELL YES. HELL NO RONAN SHOWED UP. SHE STOPPED A WHOLE ASS SPACE NUKE FROM HITTING EARTH AND MAKING IT BLOW UP ALL THE OTHER ONES

“take her down” she just took out all your fucking warheads, do ya think ships would work????. “return to the jump point” COWARD

intense stand off. jude stfu you’re a badguy. you dont get a moment for a teaching lession.

“SHOW ME YOU CAN-“ BOOM. get blasted bitch. “you cant do this.” she will take that bet and win

FURY LOST HIS EYE TO THE FUCKING CAT SLSGSKHSSKHSKSS

intergalaxy pager! range can last a couple galaxies! now only $499.99! for emergencies ONLY. no out of town calls

“so is it true? the kree burned out your eye because you refused to give up the tesseract?” fury just tell em the cat clawed your eye out and stop being embarassed :/

NEXT MOVIE: IRON MAN :D

#captain marvel #captain marvel movie #the mcu #marvel #marvel movies #marvel cinematic universe #lesbian captain marvel?? #FUCK THE SHAPESHIFTING LIZARD PEOPLE #forgotten memorys are very gay. 10/10 #artemis rants #carol danvers #flying space lesbian

[king-finnigan]

For the mash up prompts: 55, Established Relationship and 69, Flirting Under Fire. Geraskier is my OTP, but I also feel like it'd be fun with any Witcher/Witcher pairing 😍

Sorry for the late answer, dear! I’m a bit busy with school right now, so anyone who’s still waiting for a reply, please bear with me! I will get to it eventually.

Also I did make this Geraskier, because I haven’t read the books or played the games, so I’m not entirely comfortable writing the other Witchers as major characters 😅

***

Of three things Jaskier is absolutely certain.

1. He regrets each and every action that has lead up to now, to the situation he has suddenly found himself in.

2. There are two pairs of eyes trained on him and Geralt, as they sit at the bar, one friendly, one hostile. Or both friendly. Or both hostile. He’s not sure of things like that anymore.

3. He loves Geralt. He really does. But his boyfriend might be the worst undercover cop he’s ever seen in his entire goddamn life.

As the son of the patriarch of the Pankratz family, he’s seen a lot of undercover cops - some better than others, yet no matter how good, all of them were found out by his dad, and got executed and dumped into the ocean. But none of them have been as bad as Geralt.

He really does wonder how the hell his boyfriend managed to get hired by the FBI, as Geralt looks at him, unease evident on his face - even though he’s supposed to seduce Jaskier - and says: “I- I like your... eyes. They’re... very blue.” 

Jaskier swallows thickly, hand tightening around the pint in front of him, as he fights the overwhelming urge to slam his head into the bar. He can feel his dad’s eyes boring into his back, and remembers the conversation they had earlier that day, when he pulled Jaskier aside, telling him he’s a hundred percent sure that their latest acquisition is an undercover cop - because of course he immediately knew Geralt wasn’t a criminal, big shocker - and that Jaskier needs to get close to him, find out what the Feds know about their operations and criminal activity.

He sighs, softly, trying to save Geralt’s awkward flirting, by shooting him a quick wink, putting on his most charming smile. “Thanks. My eyes are pretty special, though, they’re only blue when I’m looking at hot people.”

Geralt stammers, frowning a bit, mouth opening and closing like a fish on dry land, and Jaskier has to fight not to smack his forehead.

“But...” Geralt eventually replies “they’re always blue, no matter who you’re looking at.”

Now Jaskier has to fight the urge not to smack Geralt. He shoots a quick look over his shoulder, seeing his dad still staring at him. He turns back to his boyfriend who is actually not supposed to be his boyfriend at all. “Geralt, work with me goddammit. We’re supposed to seduce each other and it’s not gonna be believable if you say stupid shit like that,” he hisses.

“Sorry, I’m not good at this,” Geralt whispers back.

“Fucking clearly!”

He shoots a look over his other shoulder, meeting the other pair of eyes that keeps staring at them. Geralt’s colleague, another undercover cop. She’s been in the family a while, and his dad only keeps her around to feed her false information about their activities, to put the Feds on wild goose chases for drug or weapon deals that are never gonna happen.

Though, he knows that she’s aware that the information they’ve been feeding her is false, by now. That’s why the Feds sent Geralt - to seduce Jaskier, the brazen, gay wildchild of the Pankratz patriarch, and maybe get correct information about the family’s business. And she’s keeping an eye on them, to make sure Geralt does his job and doesn’t betray her or himself.

Little does she know Jaskier’s dad already knows Geralt’s a cop.

Because Geralt fucking sucks at being undercover.

He tries again. “Your eyes are lovely, though.” They’re one of the first things he noticed about Geralt when they first met, about a year ago, a few hours before they slept together for the first time. Neither of them had known about each other’s occupations at the time, and by the time they figured out that they were supposed to be mortal enemies, it had been too late - they had already fallen for each other.

“Thanks...” Geralt mutters, toying with his own pint “I... need them to see.”

Jaskier wonders how the fuck he ever managed to fall in love with this idiot.

But, then again, there hadn’t been any need for flirting, when they first met. They had instantly been attracted to each other, and talking just got in the way of kissing, really. And after that, Jaskier had fallen for Geralt because he always expressed his love through his actions, not his words.

So, really, deep down, he had already known Geralt would suck at flirting and would fail at ‘seducing’ Jaskier, especially with Jaskier’s dad and the other cop staring at them the whole time.

The question, really, is: how the fuck didn’t the FBI see this coming? Did they really think they could just put a hot man next to Jaskier, and he would immediately dive into bed with him and tell him all his family’s secrets?

Granted, that’s exactly what happened - a year ago, though. Not that the FBI knows. Not that they’ll ever know, hopefully.

He tries to summarize the situation for himself, as all these schemes and intrications have got his head spinning.

So, long story short: He is part of the mob, Geralt is a cop. They’ve been in a secret relationship for about a year now, and Jaskier’s dad expects him to seduce Geralt so they can find out what the Feds know, and the Feds expect Geralt to seduce Jaskier so they can get correct intel on the Pankratz’s activities.

Fucking marvellous.

He tries to have one more go at this ‘seduction’ thing, just to at least keep up appearances a little bit. “So, Ger-” he blinks, trying to remember his boyfriend’s undercover name “James. Is your hair white everywhere, or just on your head?” He leans his elbow on the bar, putting his chin in his hand, his index finger pulling his lower lip down slightly, looking up at Geralt through his lashes.

Just because his boyfriend sucks at flirting, doesn’t mean Jaskier can’t do it.

And, fortunately, it works. Geralt’s eyes flick down to Jaskier’s lips for a brief moment, as he shifts in his seat a bit, a blush creeping up his neck. “I- uh...”

Jaskier looks at him innocently, batting his eyelashes, exaggerating it so he’s sure his dad and the other undercover cop can see it. “I would love to find out.”

Geralt blinks again, leaning towards Jaskier. “You already know that, though.”

Jaskier sighs, once again resisting the urge to smash his head into the bar. “Geralt, I love you but you’re so fucking stupid. How the hell did you ever get hired by the FBI?” he hisses.

“I’m sorry, I’m just a bit stressed.”

“Yes, I can see that! The whole fucking bar can see that! This is never going to be believable if you keep acting like I’m holding you at gunpoint!”

“Oh, my bad, sorry I’m a bit nervous about this. It’s not as if your dad’s gonna execute me if he finds out I’m an undercover cop!” He sounds properly angry now, brows knitted together over furious amber eyes.

Jaskier scoffs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “He already fucking knows, Geralt. You’re literally the worst undercover cop I’ve ever seen and the FBI sends us, like, a dozen a year. He’s only keeping you alive if I can seduce you - or, at least” he waves his hand non-committally “if he thinks I’ve seduced you.”

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want to worry you even more, you absolute idiot! You’re already acting like someone shoved a stick so far up your ass it’s triggering your gag reflex!”

“You of all people should know that I don’t have a gag reflex!”

Jaskier blinks, raising his finger at Geralt. “I know that, and I love you, but that wasn’t my point. My point was-” he lowers his hand, frowning. “What was my point?”

He looks up when he hears his dad’s voice next to him. “Everything alright here?”

Jaskier smiles, leaning away from Geralt until he’s sitting upright again. “Everything’s perfectly fine,” he shoots Geralt, who’s still glaring at him, a warning look. “Right, James?”

Geralt stares at him for another second, before leaning back as well, smiling at Jaskier’s dad so unconvincingly it makes Jaskier cringe. “Yeah, everything’s great.”

The patriarch looks between them for a split second. “Right.” He looks at Jaskier. “If anything’s the matter, tell me.” He looks at Geralt, though his words are still directed towards his son. “I’ll take care of it, then.”

“Nope! Everything’s perfectly fine. Nothing to worry about.”

Jaskier’s dad nods, and walks away. Geralt glares at him again. “And I thought you said I was a shitty actor!”

Jaskier grits his teeth together, standing up abruptly, taking Geralt’s arm, dragging his boyfriend/supposed-to-be-mortal-enemy to the back of the bar, into his dad’s office, slamming the door behind him. “Fucking stop looking at me like you’re going to kill me! You’re convincing no one that you’re seducing me!”

“Maybe that’s a good thing!” Geralt half-shouts. “Maybe if I can’t seduce you, they’ll pull me out of this operation and things can go back to normal!”

“No, they fucking can’t! Cause if I can’t seduce you, my dad’s gonna have your head because you’re the worst fucking undercover cop in the history of the FBI!”

“I could just leave! I could walk out of here and never show my face again! Problem solved!”

“No! He’ll just track you down and kill you anyways, you mud-for-brains idiot!”

“Then what do you suppose we do? You pretend you’ve seduced me and then what? We can’t fucking keep this up forever!”

Jaskier frowns, thinking for half a second. “Then you just out yourself as an undercover cop and say you’ve switched sides! There! End of discussion, problem solved!”

“But I won’t switch sides!”

“It doesn’t fucking matter whose side you’re on if you’re dead!”

“Fuck you!”

“Fuck me yourself, you coward!”

“I already am!”

Jaskier blinks. “Fair enough.” He laughs when Geralt leans against the wall and almost knocks a painting off its hook.

He stalks forward. “Gods, Geralt, you’re so fucking stupid.” He grabs his boyfriend by the back of his neck, pulling him closer, smashing their lips together.

Geralt groans in surprise, but immediately kisses him back, pulling Jaskier flush against his chest.

The door to the office opens, and Jaskier pulls back, meeting eyes with his dad, who’s standing in the doorway. 

“My apologies,” the patriarch says, “I didn’t realize you two were... busy.” He closes the door behind him.

“Right,” Jaskier mutters, as Geralt laughs softly. “Problem solved, I guess.”

#squish answers #geraskier #drabble #geralt of rivia #jaskier #the witcher #modern au #mob au #cop au #that's a lot of au's honey #coconutjellystory

[theadorablespderman]

Everything to love about Far From Home not in this order:

Literally seeing that opening with all our loved avengers that are no more.

Whitney Houston “I will always love you” made me cry because damnit Tony’s face was right THERE! NOT OK!

The blip footage was pretty damn funny not gonna lie.

Peter’s cute ass plan to tell MJ how he feels.

MJ’s favorite flower being a Black Dalia because of the murder. Literally a girl I can relate too. Murderinos for life sister. Idk but it just made her sooo relatable!

The fact that Brad is a kid grown up from the blip and that made him seem all the weirder for MJ.

Jealous Peter was so freaking amazing! Oh my gosh! That face he’d get. I’m a sucker for jealousy and they did it so good.

Making MJ this awesome character she was before but also obviously has this softer layer where she does have flaws and insecurities and she’s really sweet but also so badass. That was amazing.

The starting relationship between Peter and Beck. It was cute and so I was sad knowing that Beck was somehow going to be the villain.

Also let’s talk about how Beck is basically Syndrom from the incredibles.

That scene with Peter and Brad....the pure terror when he snapped that picture

Also seeing how big of a dick Brad is and how unhealthy jealous he was.

“Nick Fury” getting ghosted, showing up in Venice, tranquilising Ned (don’t touch him you monster) and then promptly highjacking Peters Summer trip.

Showing the emotional trama Peter is going through. The anxiety, the greiving. It was very reminiscent of Iron Man 3 when Tony suffers from PTSD after the battle of New York. I loved that they showed Peter reacting as any kid would, many adults too, which is to just try and forget anything happened but being faced with the reality every day. So well done.

Happy and May’s relationship. Enough said 😂😂

I feel cheated we didn’t see Mr delmore again.

Addressing all the problems the Blip/Snap created. High school aging, school, drinking ages, homelessness and housing issues. That’s just the start of it I’m sure but they covered those pretty well and I love that.

The technology that made Beck into Misterio was so well done. Instead of some frankly, kinda far fetched story that he came from an alternate earth (which I was willing to believe but felt it was a cop out in terms of plot and character) they showed the real world issues that superhero’s can create. The Enemies that have a real deep rooted hatred for hero because they’ve personally been betrayed or wronged by them. Because marvel has always made clear, everyone is not on the hero’s side.

Steeping Misterio’s powers in tech which is classing marvel but again, so brilliantly done in this movie. I loved the development. Because at first glance, half way through, I was thinking “wow this is really kinda weird and unexplained and too witchcraft for what marvel usually brings to the superpower backstory” I know it’s weird to say after everything marvel has done. But it seemed just a tad out there without being too hard to grasp. Which again was brilliantly done because that was the whole point.

The nod to Misterio’s helmet even when Beck was in the hologram suit watching everything play out. I guess it was his screen? But I loved the staple of even without his big over the top suit he still had the trademark helmet. Great costume design.

Peter’s soft gazes towards MJ. Nearly gave me a cavity they were so sweet! Ahhh sooo cute

Mr. Harrington’s marital problems nearly made me pee my pants....we all knew here in the fandom that shit like that would half to happen but my god lol

The opera scene was sooo freakin cute and that one step Peter took when he saw Brad move in was so freaking cute and hot!

MJ running after him and finding the critical peice of information to crack the case wide open. Loved it.

Betty and Ned’s Sicily sweet romance that you knew couldn’t possibly last. They really nailed the realistic high school romance. But I still ship it.

The bus scene was epic. And when Peter knocked Flash out...god it was amazing.

Mj obviously having love eyes towards Peter same as he does for her.

THE FACT THAT HE ACTUALLY BOUGHT THAT NECKLACE FOR HER OH MY GOD! I CANT GET A GUY TO TEXT ME BACJ LET ALONE BUY A NECKLACE LIKE THAT WHICH PROBABALY COST A GOOD CHUNK OF CHANGE IT WAS SO FREAKING AMAZING AND CUTE AND TOUCHING.

All the iron man images got me feeling depressed as hell

“are you being serious because I was only like 67% sure?” That was amazing. Seeing MJ get so excited and trying to keep that hidden was awesome

The fact that she was so pleased with herself but also played it hella cool when Ned walked in and she said she figured it out. Literally that is me.

The shirtless Peter trope that we all wanted and freaking got! So freaking cute how she tried to peak at his abs. Like understandable girl.

The fucking illusions. Turning our sweet trusting Peter into a ball of mess. I was too.

God when he had to tell himself it wasn’t real but it still totally feels like it is.

Him trying to save MJ when she’s “thrown off the Eiffel Tower”

Every traumatizing thing Beck shows and tells him during the illusion. So shitty.

Seeing Tony’s grave, seeing iron man come out. That was awful and we all felt it in the movie because we’ve lost him too. We could FEEL that slap same as Peter.

Beck telling Peter that Tony’s death was his fault. I was abouta hurl myself at the movie screen.

Every illusion done in a way that just when you think it’s over, it’s never stopped. You forget what’s real and you feel trapped in it same as Peter does.

WHEN HE GETS HIT BY THE TRAIN!!!!!!!!!! Nearly had a damn heart attack!!!! My mom had to look over and ask if I was ok because I literally stopped breathing for a solid 30 seconds.

Showing gradually just how insane and evil Misterio was.

HAPPY BEING CONCERNED FOR PETER! LIKE SINCERELY AND HONESTLY CONCERNED! It’s good to know he’s got Happy to take care of him and May but that Peter still has a father type figure he can count on after Tony. Because you know Tony wouldn’t have put up with any of that getting hit by a train shit.

Also where the hell was Karen? We missed her. We got Edith but Karen wouldn’t have let Misterio take her over. WHERE WAS KAREN!!

Peter crying and needing to know Happy was real. Broke me heart

That hug between them was so sweet and you can see the concern on Happy’s face

Happy and Peter opening up to each other was so awesome considering their relationship in Homecoming.

ALL THE TONY and PETER PARRELLS! All of them!!!!!!!!! Not the people saying “Spider-Man’s the next Ironman” no the actual hints and glimpses at how similar him and tony actually are. The hologram gauntlet shot, a straight parallel to Iron Man when Tony is building his first real suit. Obviously “Back in Black” by Led Zeplen (formally known as AC/DC) playing. Another obvious hint toward Tony. The Stark sunglasses. Peter falling with the parachute and it literally looks like Ironman with his jet stream behind him from a distance. There’s so much more I’ll do a whole other post on.

Of course: “I love Led Zeplin!” Hahaha it’s such a kid thing to say! I’ve said it before I knew the big differences between AC/DC and Led Zeplin. It was so freaking perfect.

Peter making his suit and Happy’s face. Bittersweet and I live for the affection he holds for Peter now.

The Netherlands Holding cell...must I say more?

Brad’s downfall and MJs amazing comment about him taking pictures of people in the bathroom. Ep-ic. Even flash was like “bro that’s so weird”

Mr. witchcraft was hilarious and I loved his aside with Brad “I’m gonna be the cool teacher and tell you you can’t do that anymore.”

Flash is definately Gay or Bi and I’m so here for it. That wink he makes to Peter proves it.

All the near death truths in the vault of the tower.

MJ BADDASS COMES SWINGING WITH THE MACE AND IT WAS LEGINDARY OH MY GOD! YES GIRL! She’s my idol I love her so much.

Peter and his “Peter Tingle” And while we’re on the subject the banana he gets to the face while packing.

Important. His amazing skills at the end trusting his instincts (which is great because May says in regards to MJ, but it applies to this too) May tells Peter to trust his instincts and don’t think too much. And that’s what he does when he defeats Beck.

The bad ass “you can’t fool me anymore” after redirecting the gun away from his head at the end. Literally was so intense and well done.

Peter and MJ’s kisses! I loved how awkward it was at first and the slightly less awkward one. They really accurately captured the awkwardness of teenagers in love. Like that’s what it’s like guys.

Show me MJ’s parents you cowards, or show me something. Anything. I just want to know the nature of the situation.

Ned and Betty’s breakup. So funny and honestly not surprising at all. But still I ship them.

The hand hold. So cute.

May and Peter still being the cutest aunt and nephew duo there ever was.

I totally thought Peter was going to end with telling the world he was spiderman....BUT SOME OTHER ASSHOLES DID IT FOR HIM AND MADE HIM INTO A VILLAN AND IM PISSED. LOOKING AT YOU MR JAMESON YOU PEICE OF SHIT.

The movie ended and I have no idea what’s next.

Mid credit of MJ swinging through New York. Home girl doesn’t like and neither do I. Looks full on terrifying we don’t blame you hun.

After credit where the skrulls have been playing Maria and Nick fury for the whole movie. Honestly it made more sense because Nick fury seemed just a bit off. ALSO WHERE IS THE REAL NICK FURY at and I’m so psyched to see where this new movies are gonna go!

Alright that all for now folks!!!! Everything about the movie was great!!! I will have to watch again ad see if anything more pops up. Sorry for any spelling errors I’m on my phone.

#peter parker #marvel #spiderman #mcu #michelle jones #spideychelle #spider-man #spider-man: homecoming #avengers #tony stark #ned leeds #spiderman far from home #spider man: far from home #far from home spoilers #spoilers