#me trying to not use blue in my palette...failed again

[wombywoo]

smoke break

#cod #call of duty #john price #cod mw2 #my art #this was such an experiment but I think it payed off #me trying to not use blue in my palette...failed again #anyway price is underrated and he's not old y'all are just children~

[melimelissa998]

A Favor pt. 4

Part 3

“I still can NOT! Believe you asked him on a date” Mina says clapping her hands together, “It’s not a date” I say for maybe the 5th time today “Y/N, it is a date! He said so!” Jihyo is obviously on her side “He said, set the date, not it’s a date” I repeat but not sure if it was more for me than for them.

I lied to my friends about how I met Christopher and how we’re having a date dinner tonight. I had to go with a simple: we met at district 9, chitchat ever once a night and one thing led to recommending good restaurants and I mentioned one we both wanted to go and set a date to it…

“If he wasn’t interested, he wouldn’t have said something like that” Jihyo arches her eyebrows and me. I try not to laugh at her meme face, but I fail. “He was just being nice” I try one more time to make them stop “BUT! He said, ‘I’ll take you!’” Mina screams irritated at my denial. I roll my eyes and smile ignoring her, I later I realize I’m still smiling “Yeah, I, guess it is a date” I whisper hoping they don’t hear me, but I know they do. The 3 of us giggled as if we were 17 again and we just said hi to our crush passing by the hallway and he said hi back.

I still wasn't sure if i was nervous excited or nervous scared of what can happen tonight, was this even a good idea? I wish I wasn’t this excited over dinner with someone, but it’s been years I went out a date and Chris is such a mystery, but again, it’s just a favor he’s paying back I am reading all this as something it’s not…

“Soooo, what are you going to wear?” Mina’s voice makes me stop overthinking, I blink twice and come back to earth, “I was thinking of.” I’m about to show them the outfit, but Jihyo stops me “No.” she says firm and I look at her confused “You are not wearing a cute blouse with your jeans” she crosses her arms and I look at her surprised “I, I was not going to.” I lie to her and turn to my closet again. How the hell did she know?

I desperately look through my clothes for a second option and almost at the end of the rack, I see 2 nice dresses: a purple sundress with puffy sleeves and a navy-blue dress to the neck with long sleeves. I show both and they choose the blue one. “Isn’t it too much?” I take the piece to the mirror and try to imagine myself in it “You should do sexy tonight, not cute” Jihyo says, and Mina agrees “Leave the purple one for a day date, and besides, you do look amazing in blue” Mina tells me and I half smile “Okay, fine, I’ll go shower” I inform them and leave the room.

After I shower and change to something for now while I do my hair and makeup, I go back to my room and see Mina and Jihyo on their phones and internally laugh remembering Felix’s phone from the other night.

I walk to my vanity desk and start my makeup, simple, nude palette. “You should put on a red lipstick, that would be very, very hot” Jihyo suggests and laughs, I roll my eyes and I shake my head “Nah, I, will go with brown tonight, I can do red lipstick another time” I tell her, and she sees me through the mirror and tries not to do a frown but doesn’t say anything else.

I straighten my hair a little and go back to the bathroom to change to the dress, when I go back to the room I spin in the dress “Yeah, I like how I look” I tell them, and both of my best friends smile at me “You look great!” Mina compliments me and I fake a blush, I walk to the closet again and I look for shoes, black heals or brown flats “Heals” Jihyo says behind me, and I laugh again, “I knew you would say that.” I tell her.

I arrive at the address Chris texted and the uber left me in front of one of the 3-star Michelin restaurants there is in the world “God’s Menu”, I recheck the address on maps and the location was the same, as I walk to the entrance my heart starts to skip a beat and my hands start to sweat. Is this a joke?

A beautiful young hostess smiles and welcomes me “Can I have the last name for the reservation?” she asks while she pulls out a tablet “Oh, um, it’s under, um, BangChan? He told me to give you that name?” I pass on what he told me to say at the door, but it sounds more like a question. She looks at me surprised and clears her throat “I see, yes, follow me please” She leads me in the beautiful place, all so brown, and gold, so luxurious I felt even the air in here smells expensive.

“I, sorry to ask, but, is it a business diner?” she whispers and I shake my head “Not that I know of” I laugh a little to it and she nods trying to hide a smile, we do a right turn and as I’m looking around being distracted by all the details in the celling, she suddenly stops and I accidently bump into her “I’m so sorry” I apologize and she laughs “Don’t worry, it happens more than you think” we both smile at each other and then she points to the booth beside her and when I turn, Christopher is already sitting there with a drink in his hand, he’s looking at me with a smirk. “Hope you have a great night” she again whispers and this time she gives me a different smile, a soft smile. I see her go and I turn to Christopher “Hi” I wave at him and stand there not actually knowing where to sit.

Next to him? The other side of the booth? Am I going to slide all the way?

“You look gorgeous babygirl” he compliments me so daringly and I forgot to breath for a moment “Thank you” I feel my cheeks hurt from the blushing, he scoots more into the booth and with his head he points to the new spot he made. I swallow hard and sit next to him. “When you said ‘great place’ I thought it would be a pizza place like dominos or something” I joke and he smirks “I can take you to dominos next time” he shrugs, I don’t answer to that, but I feel my stomach flip inside me “This place is, just so, amazing, I thought it was hard to have a reservation here in with days” I tell him “It is, but the owner is a friend of mine” he says so nonchalant about it, I don’t speak and just stare at him, so casually, handsome, is face features are so drop dead gorgeous, his black suite looking expensive…

“Are you allergic to anything?” he asks taking a sip to his drink and hiding a smirk, I look away and felt embarrassed, he knows I was staring… “Um, yeah, shrimp? Seafood actually, it gives me like a rash and closes my throat” I explain, and he looks at me a little surprised “and my eyes get puff so that also looks ugly” I point to my eyes, and he chuckles “Got it, anything to drink?” He asks “lemon juice with whiskey” I answer and he nods, he does a sign in the air to call a waiter “Bring her a sour whiskey and today’s special make sure there’s no seafood related” he orders and the waiter agrees and leaves. Again, I feel my stomach all weird and I really don’t want to feel how special he is making me feel.

There’s a moment of silents between us and I wonder if he feels it as uncomfortable as I do, but his facial expression is so hard to read “So Bang Chan? Is that your last name?” I ask, he straightens up from his position and clears his throat “It’s my business name” he clears out “Oh, and Christopher is for friends?” I chuckle “Like Hannah Montana?” I joke and as soon as I say it I regret it, I am about to apologize for doing such a comment but before I can say I’m sorry, he laughs as if I said the funniest thing in the world “Yeah, you can say I have the best of both worlds” he joins a punch line and I bite my lips trying to avoid my smile.

The waiter comes back with my drink and an entrance soup. I thank him and he gives me a small nod, he leaves us alone again, Chris is looking at me as waiting for me to try the soup first, I take the spoon with soup and bring it to my mouth. “Oh wow, this is so amazing!” I sound too excited about it, but I can’t contain the happiness of the taste. He smirks and starts to eat too. There is another moment of silences and I try to think of something to talk about, I take a sip of my drink and remember the other night and see he still has painted nails “Does the whole ‘drug in the glass’ happens often?” I want to know, and he nods “yeah, we are kinda used to it” he keeps it simple “We? As in Lee Know, Felix? The other boys with you?” “Yes” I nod and talk again “Your accent, it sounds, not from here, it’s like a.” “Australian, it’s an Australian accent” he interrupts me “Oh! Yeah, it is, Felix too, right?” he nods, and I feel conscious of how many questions I made “Sorry, I’m doing too many questions” I explain and breath in and start to eat again “You’re fine” he says sincerely “Sorry, I just get nervous when there’s silence, I feel like I have to fill it up with my talking” I nervously laugh “You don’t need to apologize, it’s fine” he says again and I am about to say sorry again but he gives me a “don’t say it” expression which makes me shiver and the word gets stuck in my throat. His face expression relaxes, and he continues to eat which I do the same “You, have a job?” he asks after a while and I nod “Yeah, I’m an elementary teacher, at the Northwood school, the one that’s on top of the hill?” I question the last part waiting for him to answer if he knew which one I was talking about, and nods “Is it a hard job?” he asks, and I smile “Oh let me tell you about it…”

Through the night, I start to tell stories of my kids and how crazy it is to be an elementary teacher, I also tell him all the funny moments I’ve had and at first, I really felt I should shut up at one point, but Chris would give me a look as if he was very interested or as if I was telling the most amazing story ever and made it feel like if it was okay for me to keep talking. Every now in then he would also share a story of his elementary days or crack a joke between my stories making all uncomfortable feeling go away.

At the end of dinner, after have to most amazing dessert Christopher lets out a heavy breath “I’ve got to say, you are funnier than I thought” he says with a half-smile, I roll my eyes hiding mine “Thanks, sounded offensive but thanks” I joke with him and he smirks. He’s about to say something back at me but the sound of a ringtone stops him. He talks a very old phone from his pocket and looks at the screen. I look at the phone with a frown, but also let out a chuckle, he looks at me confused “What’s up with a modern phone? You and Felix seem to not like smartphones” I comment and laugh about it, Chris looks down and the phone and back at me “It gives me what I actually just needed it for” he kinda sound serious almost annoyed about my comment “Sorry, I didn’t mean anything abo.” I feel bad and want to apologize about it but he interrupts me “I, didn’t mean it like that, I, just don’t need a fancy phone” he says in a better tone but it stills make me feel bad, I nod understanding and he still seems uneasy “I’m not into social media or have time for texting with friends” he comments in a sad tone now. I try to think of what to say instead of sorry, “Oh, that’s sad, and here I was thinking we were going to be text buddies after this” I tease him and give him my best “it’s okay” smile. He looks at me with an expression I try to read.

Was it funny? Did he hate the joke? Did he even get the joke?

“In that case, I’ll have to change it” he wiggles the old phone in the air and takes me off guard, I feel a chill breeze all of a sudden and my back is shivers. I really try stop myself from showing any emotion on my face but I feel a stupid smile on my face trying creep. I think of something to say back but I don’t know what to respond. I look away and distract myself with whatever I see first, I hear him chuckle but still don’t say anything else. I take a deep breath and look at my watch “I, should probably get going before it's late, then the Ubers get really expensive and I.” “I’ll take you home” he interrupts “Oh, I didn’t mean it to sound like.” I panic and try to explain myself but he ignores me “I’ll drive you home, getting in a car this late isn’t a good idea.” He again interrupts me and takes the last sip of his drink. I sit there looking at him getting up and out the booth, how can he just be so fine and cool about it… “. Let’s go baby girl” he sounds like he’s ordering me which I instantly react to it by getting up. He guides his hand to the bottom of my back and gives me a little push to start walking. I again feel a shiver down my back and my heart in my ears, I am so glad he can’t see how my face is probably damn red right now, I take small breath to stop my heart race and hope he can’t sense my nervousness.

We walk to the entrance of the place and a black Mercedes probably car of the year pulls up, a valet steps out and gives the keys to Chris, the valet guy is about to open the passenger door from me but Chris stops “I’ll take it from here” he again speaks in a demanding order in which the guy steps aways “Yes sir, have a great night” he says goodbye and leaves. Chris opens the door of the car and also closes it after. I take the chance to let out the air in my lungs and wait for him to get to the driver’s seat. The drive to my department was silent, not even music playing to make it feel not weird at this point. My need to vomit talk was making me go crazy. “Thank you!” I say out of the blue “. F-for dinner and the ride home” I look at him but he doesn’t seem to react about it “I know I talked a lot and sorry if I annoyed you, but.” “You didn’t at all, I enjoyed it” he interrupts and stops in front of a red light. He looks at me and just stays like that. The light makes his skin glow and I once again I look at his face, the scar, his lips, his nose, and into his eyes. The light turns green and he turns to face the road.

I then feel so unreal, the night, the air, this isn’t real, it’s so unreal, he’s unreal.

I stop overthinking as soon as I hear Chris get out of the car and walk to my side to open the door, I am about to say goodbye and thank him again but he speaks first “Let me take you out again.” I stand there a little confused “. But this time not as a favor…”

He just really knows how to take my breath away…

5.

#fy #imagine #stray kids #kpop #kpop imagines #mafia #stray kids imagine #stray kids mafia au #stray kids scenarios #bang chan #felix #mina #momo

[poppypirate]

So I'm rewatching PJO episode 6 in preparation for tomorrow (so excited!!!) and here's some thoughts~

1) I watched the Iris message with Luke like a million times and it is SO unnerving to see what a master manipulator he is. He's the cool older friend everyone wants to be seen bumping fists with - and he's giving them so much caring attention. All while subtly deflecting the conversation to pushing the conclusions HE wants Percy and Annabeth to arrive at. For the first time, I was reminded how scary this thing with Luke was, and once again, gave me the same feeling I'd had when I first read the books :')

2) Social commentary in the Lotus Casino like pls????? Rick NEVER fails to deliver on the best messages. Drugs injected into the air of one of the biggest gambling businesses in the world? Grover literally getting "lost in time" in the VR headset? Hermes lamenting about parenting? I love it.

3) Percabeth🥹🥹🥹🥹 "You were like two seconds ahead of me" SO PERCY. I was wheezing. Percy FINALLY opening up to Annabeth about the dreams had me sighing in relief. And the way the two of them navigated Hermes and the Lotus Casino together had me sobbing fr. MY BABIESSSS

4) PERCY DRIVING IS SO ME PLS. "Try aiming for the middle!" Like same bro been there😭 Waiting for a full minute after the guy cuts him off and then angrily honking ME. ME ME ME. I detest driving and I mean. Oh, and the best part - Annabeth staring proudly at Percy as he goes up that ramp, and Percy happily looking into her eyes AND THEN CRASHING INTO THE WALL I WAS BESIDE MYSELF I did not know this was something I needed. And... of course... WISE GIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRLLLLLL

5) When Annabeth said "it's easy to forget what's important when you're alone" it reminded me so bitterly of Luke. For this kind of lone forgetting is exactly what Kronos is betting on when he singles Percy out as his backup or whatever. It's scary how blurred the line between Luke and Percy's possible destinies is. And branching from the same dialogue, Grover's reaction after he realises he forgot quite a bit was heartbreaking. It kind of reminded me of the scene from Chalice of the Gods (spoilers, yall!) when Grover's sad Percy and Annabeth will be leaving. Hit too close to home :')

6) The Nereid was so mindnumbingly beautiful??? Also, they're making Percy's colour palette green and gold instead of blues, and while that's going to take a while to get used to, they're doing an aesthetically marvellous job!

7) But... there was no zebra :(

Anyway now I'm SO excited for tomorrow's episode I cannot WAIT. I cant wait to see the Cerberus, the Underworld, and Hades and Persephone (the gods all look so amazing so far this is going to be SO good) - and I can't wait to see Sally again!!! Her figure in the teaser seemed so cool. Literally counting down the hours😭

#percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo tv show #percy jackson disney+ #percy jackson tv show #percy and annabeth #sally jackson #annabeth chase #the pirate pops

[oswlld]

OH PUEN, WE’RE REALLY IN IT NOW (or, an ask requested by @megacherik​ that I didn’t mean to turn into an almost 6K word count about the character, Puen)

BUCKLE UP! This post is split into two parts : 1) summarizing Puen as a standalone character and then 2) realllly diving into how these character moments are fleshed out in each episode

-

PART I - SUMMARY

Here are some takeaways about Puen as a standalone character; these conclusions are my own and some are supported under the cut, so please take these with a grain of salt (cries oh gawd there’s already pink)

ROMANTIC LEAD VS LOVE INTEREST

Romantic lead - main character in a romantic setting (main plot, other motivators drive towards romance)

Love interest - a character that the hero/main character is interested in (subplot, motivator to move the main story along)

And for the majority of the series, a lot of Puen’s onscreen presence, to me, functions more on the love interest side. HOWEVER, there’s still so many instances where his status as a romantic lead lead to understated character moments

WHAT IS IN A NAME

the narrative choice of never telling his name, calling himself/making others call him Tun for two years (and for us, ten weeks), weighs heavily when we hear “Puen” for the first time in ep 11

we feel the trauma at the same time as he does

i never took issue to the name drama and Talay has made it clear on numerous occasions it wasn’t important for him; having the audience wait ten weeks to hear it again was well executed

MOURNING? SOPHISTICATED? BLANK SLATE?

Talay’s wardrobe dialog carries the blue theme throughout his time in their universe, while Puen wore black/grayscale

we poke fun at those who default to black wardrobe, but how do I find meaning in this color palette choice that the production team assigned for Puen if it is an important characteristic for Talay/Blue?

so, is it because it’s one less thing to think about before going into work? is it painting a bigger picture about his character being orphaned? or is it simply saying nothing because we’re not supposed to know anything about him?

in a very quiet way, Tun’s wardrobe is the AU version of Puen; muted, neutral tones vs tess’/AU’s vibrancy paints, until we see Puen in red in so many occasions (which comes to a head when it comes to Real Red)

“TUN” vs PUEN

the balance between Up and Aou showcases the two sides of Puen - the person (silly) vs the actor (serious)

in a very understated way, it feels right that Talay also fits into Friend Credits and, by extension, falling in love with Puen, due to this dynamic

whether it was intentional that Jimmy moves differently or not, I have no choice but to pick up on the way Puen moves in the glass house scene, with the hand in his pocket, as if the suit/his wardrobe changes the way he carries himself vs when he was in Tun’s body and wearing casual clothes

“PEOPLE THINK I’M PERFECT”

Puen is naturally talented, picks things up quickly (good memory), which is an important skill to have for being a successful actor

reminds me of Lito a lot, having to learn new things for the job (ex: flair bartending)

we don’t see much evidence that would lead me to believe he’s a people pleaser or having insecurities to maintain perfectionism

thus, i think his professionalism, mixed with the loneliness, comes with the territory of never voicing his needs; other people assuming he could take care of himself gave himself permission to shut himself away at a young age

LOVE FROM A DISTANCE

we’re told that he remembers everything about Talay, but he has also been keeping tabs on Pang’s life while she’s been away in the other universe

it would make sense for a loner like Puen that he’d keep other people he cared about at arm's length; he’s very self-aware about being bad about love, so to what extent did he try and fail at retaining friendships in and outside of work?

in Lady Bird, there’s a scene where it’s pointed out that a piece of writing about Sacramento was written with so much affection and care; main character tells them she was just paying attention, but the other points out that “don’t you think maybe they are the same thing, love and attention?” the context for that scene in the movie and Puen as a character doesn’t translate thoroughly, but it does speak to how memory can play into his character without having flashbacks

i am going to just lean on the writers for creating a character that is very understanding and is the first to apologize and easily forgiving; without having moments to dispute this otherwise, this is a character trait he has, but not necessarily something he needed to work on i wonder if there’s a place in their og universe Puen disappears to when he’s struggling with something, that is unique to him (rather than using the same locations shown in the show so far)

HE’S A SELFLESS MAN WHO WANTS TO BE SELFISH FOR ONCE

his loneliness hasn’t hardened him or made him bitter, it has made him childlike in return

perpetually orphaned

reminds me of when heedo told her mom she was still thirteen; i think in many ways, he’s stuck there and it showed in moments when he wanted to be taken care of

there's something to be said about having the biggest angst/fight between them in midnight black be resolved in the love interest lens; meaning, the most important details about Puen’s life/motivations were vocalized through Up and Pang, in their respective scenes with Talay (instead of carrying out the turmoil through Puen, in the romantic lead lens)

we learn the full extent Puen is willing to fight to keep this life for himself, when Talay has previously fought so hard to ensure Puen’s return to their universe, and Puen wrestles with this selfish (and very understandable) revelation offscreen until we get to the island scene

after all this, is there something he learned from universal traveling? thinking back to the point i made about never voicing his needs - i think this was where growth happened, when he asked Talay if he could be that person to wake up to; that singular, pivotal moment of being vulnerable enough to ask someone to be their person???? no wonder it's the one scene he writes into a script ITS SO GENUINELY ROMANTIC

There is love in holding. And there is love in letting go. the Friend Credit subplot didn’t serve as a vehicle to motivate the portkey/universal travel plot forward; even less so for Puen’s ideal life with Pakorn’s parents, but the letting go of both was FKJLSKDJLSKDF inhales that…. it’s the grandest romantic gesture and greatest character moment for Puen as a romantic lead

his last act before leaving the universe was writing his name, letting go of the last thing he kept for himself; it being written in the earth of the universe that was his home, instead if it being spoken, is so LOUD

As we go into the last ep, the one character moment I am looking forward to seeing is how much of his life as Tun will be carried into his life as Puen. In the AU, being Tun was his way of being his most authentic Puen and now that he’s back in his own body, how does Puen change to carry Tun with him from this point forward? I do have points laid out below, when it comes to Puen’s return as an actor, but will we see further growth in establishing self worth? We shall see.

If this wasn’t long enough, I have broken down the character analysis further, by ep under the cut. It’s a marathon, so pls take breaks and stretch your legs when you can.

PART II - PUEN, THE CHARACTER THAT YOU ARE —

DISCLAIMER: I am utilizing much of my thoughts/explanations with context to later episodes, instead of what we learn about Puen within the timeframe/scope of the episode itself. In short, this is me breaking the character moments down with the information revealed later in the series.

OCEAN BLUE - 1a. Mainly showcases Puen through Talay’s POV, which gives love interest vibes alone. But what we did take away from his two brief scenes is how he interacts with his fans vs those he works with (well, there is no difference, he treats everyone with the same kindness and respect). We also know now that he keeps everything his fans gift him in his apartment, which speaks to how he cares for his fans; is there an element of sentimentality for him? Sidenote: he is tooootally the type of person that would have one thoughtful, nice interaction with a stranger and then think about that moment/person for at least a week 1b. Gawd, the professionalism of this man; you can sense how level-headed he can be in between takes. What is his rapport as an actor? We know him to be a superstar, enough to gain recognition to star in an international film and represent his country, but does the industry like him? Is he a pleasure to have on set?

FOREST GREEN - 2a. Puen’s entry into the other universe; how blessed we are to have a show give us THREE distinct events where PuenTalay meet each other again and again anew; instantly, Puen is surrounded by people, but i think the scene plays out beautifully; in that, while meeting Pang again later was special to him, Puen too felt that, in meeting Talay and Talay asserting himself as someone Puen can trust, the meeting was special to him too 2b. What’s this? a flashback that serves more as a Puen POV, rather than a Talay POV? there’s not much to take away from this short scene, but I wanted to establish a romantic lead POV shift, even if its only in a flashback scene; the rest of the episode exists with Puen in scenes with Talay and we don’t get a moment alone with Puen until the next episode

SOFT BLUSH!!! - I think the short, drunk narrative doesn’t need to have a moment in this post, but it stands to be said that it was a necessary send off to a version of Puen - we need to see Puen shift from how he deals with his previous life to learning how to exist in this universe. 3a. NOW, Pinky Promise™ reference, with the wooden hand model, was pointed out by others in the tag, so I won’t speak too much into it; but loooooook! a full scene of our romantic lead, fleshing out the history and future of Friend Credits; although the scene is most carried out through a flashback of a character we don’t see again until the end of ep 10, we understand what aspects of Pakorn Puen needs to contribute to the friend group and the type of friend he needs to be for Up and Aou; i wonder if he read further into Pakorn’s journals/studied them

3b. What is this?? ANOTHER solo scene of our ROMANTIC LEAD PUEN???? I love that the show gives us this moment: the beginnings of this friend group with Puen; it’s an important gesture (as opposed to how tess treated Talay’s friends), to truly want to make amends with Up and Aou; after this, we rarely see moments with just the three of them outside of Friend Credit shenanigans, but at least we had this 3c. A perfectly normal reaction to learning that Talay is single in your area.

DEEP MAGENTA, MY BELOVED! 4a. He’s SO perceptive about portkeys; “Hasn’t it occurred to you that the key to finding the portkey is love? […] What if to go back, you must fall in love with someone? What if it’s me?” - and it DOESN’T STOP - “I’ve been thinking about lots of things lately. About going home and about work. Everything is related to love. […] So I want to know a little more about love.” (the therapy bills are just piling up) That deep breath he takes, that pause, the way his hands hold together like that… PRECIOUS TO ME 4b - T: “Want to get married too, don’t you? P: “That’s normal, isn’t it? Of course, I think about it sometimes.” Interesting moment to contrast two character moments in that conversation; Talay thinking about the video presentation, saying he would like to color the video vs Puen thinking about his potential partner; also when Puen catches the bouquet vs Talay shielding himself from it (just like the RV scene when Puen points out that Talay shouldn’t just plan for the future alone)

side note: GUYSSSSSS, it didn’t occur to me until now that the music playing during the wedding video is the same as when they reunite in the glass house in the end of this ep AND in Talay’s fantasy reunion with Puen in ep 12 outside the building), APPALLED AND UNWELL

Jumping forward to the scene after the toss, when Talay reflects on their ongoing conversation about falling in love: P: “We can just fake it.” T: “No.” P: “Why not?” T: “Love isn’t something you can fake.” P: “Of course, we can. I faked it all the time when I was an actor.” T: “Then you fake it with someone else. Leave me out of it.” It’s an interesting take on having to artificially manufacture the elements required for both as inspiration for a screenplay and conjuring a portkey into existence. Do I believe there’s some hiding happening, in that he is using screenwriting as an excuse when Talay repeatedly turns him down? When Talay gets upset about the big spray paint display, there is a moment of hesitation. We know he was already falling, but this is a love interest moment. It’s creating friction for the Talay narrative. But if I switch over to Romantic Lead!Puen lens, I wonder if the moment after Talay says stop messing with me, he was going to confess something. However, Talay cuts him off.

4c. Let’s pause to take a 5 min break, you’ve already sat through likely 20+ min of my ramblings. Plus, let’s looks at one of Puen’s best looks as Tun… it’s a good look, lbr. Theyre all good looks - guys. shhh just look

4d. Anyways, at the end of the ep: P: “I just… wanted to know the feeling when I really love someone.” In hindsight, THIS REALLY HURTS YK??? He’s on his way there, albeit misguided. But how fascinating it is to point that out, diving into those emotions like an actor would in researching a role, except the lines are blurring. “But I want you to know that if it’s not you, I wouldn’t be able to work this well.” I am going to come back to this when we talk about ep 11. 4e. Now, that kiss… “There’s one more thing about the characters that I still don’t understand.” “Are you messing with me again?” “Not messing with you this time.” We jump to ep 5, the scene as a flashback continues with Puen confirming, “I kissed you because I felt like kissing you.” That’s mah BOY!!! Baby’s first real moment in acting on his feelings, not from his acting experience. Still misguided, in ways I can't express right now, but what a big step in his journey to learning more about love.

WINTER WHITE - 5a. the way I love a Bookstore Scene!! It’s such an understated character moment, when Talay is taking a genuine interest in Puen life. He’s not used to someone being curious about his likes/dislikes, especially coming from someone he really likes. We know the many future instances he turns Talay down in revealing something personal about his life, but ever the same, it’s so worthwhile to capture moments of unease/hesitation for Puen. VV showcases more of Talay’s journey in Puen rocking his foundation and keeping him on his toes, but we rarely see the many little ways Talay does the same for Puen. 5b. SOLEMN FACE!!! “The series crew got him a nickname.” GAWD, he - inhales This was him at least five years ago, around 18/19? “Because he always made a cold and solemn face on set.” IM SADDDD. As I mentioned before, I see him as someone who keeps an ear open to those he cares about, even if it’s not people he regularly keeps in touch with. By either osmosis or just seeking out news every once in a while, idk. Interesting thing to point out that he wants to give up acting while in the AU. In some ways, maybe he wanted to retain as much of Tun’s life as possible. But there is something to be said about staying away from a life he wasn’t happy in.

Before I move onto the next ep - “I’ll be the guy who lives with you.” MY GUY, RELAX! And then, when Talay is the one to hold his hand One (1) Time, Puen is just ready to move in together PFFFFT head in hands

5c. I know this is a post about Puen, but HI BABYYYYYY!!!!!! uhhhh PINK?????? FJSLDFKJSLKDF (btw this is a callout post to everyone who watched part 4 and made the most-played part of the video the preview for ep 6, where jimmy is shirtless with the shaving cream…. Valid, but STILL)

FIRE YELLOW - 6a. SOLEMN FACE RETURNS [crowd goes “awww :( “] Do I agree that it’s a good character take, that he prefers working anywhere with Talay over actually getting a job?? MMMMMMMMM idkkkk. 6b. “A life of doing things alone was not fun at all.” Now, THAT’s something. What a throwaway line that tells so much in so few words. Sure, he’s still shaken by Friend Credits disbanding, but he’s really trying to drive himself away from falling back into his old life: doing this alone. Yes, he now resides with Pakorn’s parents, but he’s really hoping to bring the group back together somehow over anything else.

We’ve all had our collective moments with Puen’s fantasy at the top of ep 6, so I won’t dwell into the specifics of the dialog, but it is a great character moment in how he paints Talay in his fantasy. From our initial reaction, not realizing it was a fantasy until we are brought back out of it, it was that blatent: he loves Talay exactly the way he is. Nothing about Talay felt out of character, which also extended to how their banter played out. Of course, there were moments that made the fantasy obvious, but it got the point across. Our boy is down BAD.

6c. Oh the paradigm shift in ep6 [2/4], you will always be famous - the first instance where Puen starts saying, “my dad’s…” Already laying the groundwork in the upcoming turmoil in wanting to stay. I speak more on this below when I dive more into Puen’s goodbye to Pakorn’s parents. 6d. I often wonder how long Puen has thought about writing that next screenplay about their lives. And I think a lot about the motivation behind it, bringing something so personal into existence. It’s not so different from what writers of all media do normally (which, wow that’s something to think about if Puen eventually steps away from acting to become a screenwriter full time; he’s already a natural at it)

6e. After learning that he truly fell since glass house, i think joob’s death really spooked him. perhaps even moreso that Talay, but we didn’t see it that way when the episode aired. the scene to me played out as a love interest scene at first, but it really is a good romantic lead moment. And then in ep 7, not telling Talay how he feels, while Talay is pushing him towards Pang???

SUNSET ORANGE - before we get started, let’s take another break. Rest your eyes for a minute, drink some water. But also, Scent kink? In my thai bl???

7a. Okay let’s continue - “HASN’T IT EVER OCCURRED TO YOU THAT I’M YOUR PORTKEY?” “IF YOU ARE, WE’D BE BACK BY NOW.” WHY ARE YOU TWO SO LOUD BUT SO STUPID 7b. “People think I’m perfect. I can take care of myself.” Having it be spoken so plainly, instead of show us evidence of this in more flashbacks (rather than seeing that through gyo’s/fans’ eyes… is something). “I’m just a man who can be weak and needs care.” That moment after Talay teases him about it, I COULD KISS IT. He’s taking the necessary baby steps in vulnerability and my son Talay is teasing him… SIGH “Not many see this side of me… You’re one of them.” Just how many people out there has he opened up to, outside of Pang? And how have these people come in and out of his life? Are they all from work?

7c. We now know what he wrote, I’M FINE BTW (lying). The next scene plays out in them having a moment to themselves and Puen steers the conversation to them, but never pressuring him to like him back. In a moment where he can act on his emotions, and Talay wants him to, his final thoughts are always Talay. His wish being the most selfless, unspoken thing… SEDATE ME. He doesn’t just write that he wishes Talay to fall in love with him, but the unspoken intention of giving a piece of his declaration the moment his wish comes true??? His wish isn’t to hear “I love you”, it’s to be able to say “I love you, too.” I am no longer fighting demons, I am sending them my therapy bills and they’re pissed.

7d. [Oh NOOOOOooo the bg music for their almost kiss scene is the same as their glass house reunion scene STAHP] 7e. Jimmy, the actor you are…

7f. Small side tangent, but I wish there were more moments of having the both of them start to pick up habits/mannerism in their scenes together, rather than have it always be recalled in flashbacks (ex: Pang’s scene about the Talay palette and then again in Puen’s flashback to learning about pantone with Talay) 7g. MY PATHETIC WET KITTEN - to me, it’s both an important character moment AND a important trait for a blorbo

Back in Aug, after ep 7 aired, I was discussing the progress of the show with beloved mutual @lulabo and she pointed out how “jimmy’s doing interesting work in that I still don’t know who Puen IS outside his relationship to Talay and so far that hasn’t gone anywhere. he’s SO enigmatic it should be a point of contention” and my response:

Currently, I feel the needle moving a bit since my last response. I still feel strongly about this, however there are several aspects of his work in the month without Talay that reveal his screenwriting and acting produced improvements in the eyes of his peers, due to his time with Friend Credits.

CLOUDY GRAY - 8a. I don’t really see him as a jealous type of person, esp having Mek really having no connection to Talay in their universe. Hmm… Was having one rejection too many really getting to him? Me thinks this was his first trial in this universe fighting to maintain a connection with someone and us witnessing something he has perhaps experienced in his previous life, with people falling out of his orbit. He just wants to be wanted and he’s so CLOSE. 8b. It would at least explain his expression when Talay finally confesses that he likes him. Something something to be chosen again and again. Some of us are single, gmmtv.

MIDNIGHT BLACK - so… that pillow scene

9a. That moment when he was eating by himself - my first real glimpse at a scene of him ALONE alone, perhaps his natural state back home. Did he feel more himself at this moment or did it feel strange? We don’t get many moments where we stay on him for a great length of time, just existing. It was a fleeting moment before we see the birthday scene play out, but i will cherish this small bubble of me meeting this side of him 9b. Their biggest fight, being Puen’s desire to stay, was written as a roadblock for Talay (and so to me, a love interest moment); it was still a character moment for Puen, since it transitions from his birthday scene into them talking about his birthday wish and at the end of the fight, the camera stays on him (instead of following Talay out)

9c. When he gives Talay a piggyback ride without explanation, I think this is when I also fell in love with the character; the show and the writers are finally giving him the depth I was seeking earlier in the series (since we don’t get flashbacks to their former life). If I loved it less, I would be able to talk about it more ;; 9d. I can’t believe up until now, Talay believed that their time together was going to stop once they return to their universe. My son, what.. huh lol do you not understand how down BAD Puen is for you??? SO I ALWAYS THOUGHT - I WANTED TO WAKE UP AND SEE THAT SOMEONE WAS WAITING FOR ME. CAN YOU BE THAT PERSON FOR ME? [………………………… user talaypuens flatlined for a few seconds but shes back] Okay soooooo anyways, that is a Scene. a Scene that doesn’t change the course of everything in this universe and their own. Nope. It’s not like it sets in motion their pinky promise to find each other… or that it improves Puen’s acting career in ways that not only received praise from those in his industry but a moment that Talay needed to hear from him and run back to him. It’s a completely normal, romantic lead scene.

9e. [INCOHERANT SOBBING] EXCUSE ME, DID YOU BUY THAT BEFORE OR AFTER THE PINKY PROMISE; seriously, i need to study his brain.. when the braincells work, they WORK. how did he connect the dots about the theme of an hourglass representing universal travel?? HOW??? Does he know this did psychological damage to my brain when it was explained as a flashback for Talay? PSYCHOLOGMICAL. DANAJ. 9f. We’ve already sang our praises how this reveal played out, but im giving it it’s moment here because i love the editing in the latter part of the series. They included more of Puen’s POV in their scenes together, giving us more glimpses into his thoughts/motivations that we didn’t get earlier on. Getting the screenshots of them in the bathroom… i was fighting demons,,,,, DEMONS

[WHY IS THIS POST SO LONG, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME…. let’s not unpack all that]

PINK - Mek really said get your gay fantasy out of my script fjlskdkfjsl;d Mek can have some rights but also...

10a. The maturity and speed in which Puen reconciles with saying goodbye to the life he loves. I think I seriously love him… I often think about how different this show could have been if the Pakorn family dynamic was the whole of it, in place of the Friend Credits subplot. Of course, we needed to keep the “improving their bodies’ lives” narrative, but as heavy as this scene was, it had potential to just SHATTER ME BEYOND REPAIR. It was more like a treat into a character moment for Puen, rather than a reward for the journey. Since we have sat with the revelation about Puen being orphaned for a short time, we have come to care for Puen long enough to be destroyed by the scene of him saying goodbye to his surrogate universe parents. To somewhat be able to leave them with a soft confirmation that even if he wasn’t Pakorn, they’d still love him, if not more. I SOBSSSS 10b. In the week leading up to ep 11, I fully thought that Puen dreamed and didn’t tell Talay. I also knew this would be so out of character for him, but I wanted to find some meaning for the last scene they had together and what the motivation was behind finally wanting to tell his name. It almost felt like the place they chose to camp at was his dream location and when the big reveal happened for the switch, it made me feel like he ran out of time before leaving. I mean, why else would he himself bring up the dialog “Though we aren’t together tomorrow, you’re always here in my memories” uh…. ow????? and you expect me to think he wasn’t saying goodbye to Talay?

oh gawd i need a moment before diving into Real Red, I - inhales take a moment to stretch your legs again while i have a mild breakdown, maybe do a few neck stretches?

REAL RED - 11a. I need to preface this by giving all of my love to those who made [1/4] all 25+ min of it a POWERHOUSE. The editing between both universes were perfectly balanced in pace, emotional weight, and dialog. There were moments left unspoken that just made my heart SING. I just - MWAH. And it all starts with Puen’s return to their universe and the scene that alone deserves at least 3 oscars for acting, directing, and best foreign language - short subject.

The very first night back in his apartment - I imagine that he didn’t get any sleep and mostly it might be due to missing Talay, but some part of me thinks about the idea of sleeping in a strange place and the difficulty of sleeping in a different bed; could he have felt the same sensation here, after feeling more at home in the other universe? did he ever feel like he was back to sleeping in his own bed?

11b. In my red color analysis post, I took a moment to mention the cubby in Puen’s apartment and how that speaks to his character. That prompted an ask, which created this Puen brick of an analysis post. [We have finally made our way, woo!] That is to say, knowing for weeks that Puen has no one in his life, no personal connections outside of work, speaks to the little corner of praise in his apartment. It’s not organized in any particular way and no item is displayed with more attention than the others. It just is and it’s in plain sight when he w- IS THAT AN ALPACA PLUSHIE??????????? He doesn’t have people over, so it doesn’t need to be hidden or tidy. He doesn’t (often?) throw any of it away, it just appears to accumulate. It is made even more poignant by the positioning of where the hat is on the shelf, just out of sight for two years. He appreciated the gift and placed it in the cubby where all the other love he receives goes and that was that. Good thing he has a really good memory, because that small moment, that token given by a fan’s best friend, that memory brought him home.

11c/11d. He’s done so much in a month, I wonder how much of what he claims to have done was also done by Pakorn. Does it really take less than a month to write, film, record, and premiere a movie? In that time, he’s done so much with Talay written all over it. He’s screenwriting, writing in a scene that he experienced with Talay, he’s singing a song that he learned from Talay, Talay, Talay, Talay. He’s outputting so much of their love into their universe, it’s only right that the universe screams it back. Remember back in my ep 4 pointers, when he said if it wasn’t Talay he would not have worked as well?? Look at how the universe is rewarding him for this love. The cherry on top is having Talay fight to get his life back on track, with it having nothing to do with his feelings or connection to Puen, and it brought them together nevertheless. Puen’s speech even didn’t have any motivation to reach Talay’s ears; he didn’t even think that Talay was there in the building, let alone in their universe. Puen does these things out of so much love, confident that they will be together again someday. I hope he’s also finding some moments of joy in the process. He deserves to get excited about doing all these things, instead of feeling trapped again.

11e/11f. I mentioned above about how the suit seems to change the way Jimmy plays up Puen the actor. Now, I don’t know Jimmy well enough to see if there’s a distinction between actor Puen and actor Jimmy, so I only see Puen. And here, I love seeing how he carries himself in front of Talay, still thinking it’s Tess. There’s something about how he presents himself in front of the face of someone he loves, but knows and acts like it's someone else. I mean, don’t we all act differently in front of different people? But this is Vice Versa, and we are here to witness the shift in Puen when he turns away, saying goodbye to Tess and then turning back around and seeing Talay in his home body. For the first time, AGAIN. HE CRIED, TALAY CRIED, I CRIED, WE ALL CRIED.

-

I am writing this on the eve of the finale. Who knows Crystal Clear will bring (besides tears because who am i kidding), but this undertaking into Puen as a character was the perfect send off for me. I have seen him, or a version of him, claim something that Puen at the beginning of the series would not have fought as hard to keep. He’s kept people away for so long, not knowing how to ask to be cared for. But I enjoyed seeing that development in seeking Talay out again and again in ep 11, going to Tess over and over. And when he finally stepped back, just letting it be and working until Talay would eventually reach out to him, that restraint too is growth. The confidence in their love… And in loving Talay, where that love will continue to carry into his work until Talay returns, it has already started to make waves in the industry. I am sure future projects will only further his fame and we know it will not change him. Because he’s Puen. I am so happy for him and I love him so dearly.

In conclusion, he’s baby.

#vice versa #vice versa the series #viceversaedit #jimmy jitaraphol #sea tawinan #mine: edits #just like the red analysis i will only tag a small circle and see where this goes #and like before #i wrote this for me and me alone fjslkd #pdribs #vishingwell #userbillkin #mjtag #userconcrete #usersarawatine #epiphanjins #tuserhidden #tonanons #userjaehwany #tag gods please be good to meeee

[miragethecat]

if you look at the statue next to the lady, that is God with a G. Of the Ultraman franchise anyway, his name is Noa and yes, there are a lot of Christian allegories in this franchise. but he is holding a blue orb that protects the city where the statue is from the Kaiju antlar.

(context: i was showing some of my new dioramas  that i had just gotten)

so there’s this group of ultras called the ultra brothers right and during one of the shows I think it’s like six of them get crucified, and their newest member has to be the monster called ace killer and it’s insane

THEY GET CRUCIFIED

they are called the 6 ultra brothers and then there’s another group including them, just called the ultra Brothers and it’s a group of like nine ultras

and don’t get me started on how all the series are classified into eras because some of them are wonky, and some people can’t agree, which shows go where, but that’s mostly for newer shows

and now going back to Noa

he has this I want to call it a puppet form because I don’t know the accurate terms. But he is also Ultraman Nexus. and Nexus has like four different forms, and has the most hosts out of every ultra I believe. he also looks like he has a mullet.

now to noa - pls notice that he does not have a mullet. he does have wings or what are supposed to allude to wings. he’s got a counter part called Dark Zagi. he’s a little freak.

he is an entity, that aliens tried to control, failed. And he was after the energy from the ultras home planet M78. to I believe, go back to his dimension. him and Noa fought, and now he has beef (i haven’t seen nexus yet, might be wrong 🤷‍♀️)

also, almost every ultra in the franchise has a dark/evil counterpart. they are also like 50 m y’all giants of light.

and most of them take hosts because earths atmosphere, cannot sustain their true form for more than three minutes or somewhere around that. most of the time. and then there are ultras who just take a human form and try to blend in while still being an alien

So they travel in these balls of light and honestly it’s really cool. there are 4 canonical ultrawoman (again could be wrong) and there are three others that have had women as hosts (maybe????).

now want to talk about the ultra series that is so popular in China that I believe last year it sold more than the Mouse. Ultraman Tiga!

he got a 4kids dub of the first 24–25 episodes and man. They are rough. I’ve seen them, they are so rough. but basically Tiga is very popular with people in the west, because I believe it was one of the most popular ones to come here and stayed popular

which is why I believe anyway, of the Ultraman figures that I have found at GameStop 2/3 of them have been him. And probably the ones that are going to come to the US first will probably be him and what Tsubaraya Think are the most popular ones that people here would want.

also, I believe he’s the first ultra to have indigo in his color palette and people online like to swear it’s either blue or purple. When I first watched it, I thought he was purple. so he’s got three main colors on him, being indigo, red and silver. and I believe he is the start of the gimmick, where the characters would become all one color, or mostly one color as a different form.

so his all indigo type is the aerial/speed type, and his all red type is his strength type. And each form has its own use and drawbacks. And then it is revealed towards the end, that he was originally an evil titan. Who had a dark gray and silver color palette and honestly he looks really cool because we don’t normally get those colors

and he like gets the traumatic flashbacks to when he was an evil titan and killing people. LIKE for his series he has the highest kill count(i believe????).

anyway i can’t beat the tiga fan allegations cause like half of my figures are of him. and his are usually the ones i find the most, in the US anyway.

this is getting so long, dear lord.

I liked watching tiga, I loved the throwback episodes, but it was not my favorite series in the slightest. it’s definitely in my like top 10 but I also haven’t seen a good chunk of the like 75 year run of this series.

i’m trying to, and it’s very easy to because a lot of them are on the YouTube channel for free with really good subtitles and some of them even have really good dubs.

anyway, this has been my pitch for you to watch this show/series and you can literally pick and choose where you want to start. That’s the beauty of this thing. You can start with the most recent show that just ended or you can pick a show from 50 years ago.

we have one series that people call the darkest one in the entire franchise, that’s Nexus. you can basically watch to college age siblings, become Ultraman and then the shenanigans they get up to. you can go back and watch the original, which was supposed to be its own universe, along with the second show the franchise until they decided to make it a multi-verse situation. now to get in the multiverse. 😀

A very, i want to say convoluted multi-verse. There is a character that canonically travels through dimensions with the help of God I think??? I don’t exactly quote me on that, but he does travel through dimensions.

The Ultraman that does that most frequently is named zero. he is the son of ultra seven who is the second ultra technically in this franchise. and they have a terrible relationship with each other. Seven left him to be raised/mentored by his trainee, Leo, who he traumatized when seven was training him.

zero basically has become tsubaraya’s Golden boy. he shows up in like everything, he is very charismatic. I will give him that, but he’s got issues and don’t even get me started on the different kinds of ultras that exist because there are distinctions.

ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! now here’s my ramblings as my reward

i’m not even gonna get into that because I don’t know all of the information or at least some of the information. I only know a little bit about that specific topic.

but a really fun part about the show is that they do a lot of tribute episodes so sometimes your faves come back in the newer shows and it’s great to see them and just a lot of them haven’t gotten that treatment because I think they do it on like the 25th anniversary and then like special anniversaries or years or whatever.

anyway, that was my pitch to watch the show so I have other people to talk to about it and not just my sister and my dad. Actually, you can blame my dad for even getting me into this now I must go and do other stuff. Goodbye.

#tokusatsu #ultraman #kaiju #ultraman 66 #ultraman decker #ultraman tiga #ultraman nexus #ultraman noa #ultraseven #ultraman zero #ultraman leo #long post #i’m on mobile #antlar #i’m all out of ideas for tags #ramblings

[alltheworldsinmyhead]

Post 7 Comfort Movies and Tag 7 People

tagged by the wonderful @oneofthewednesdays - half of your picks were mine as well so I needed to get creative!

About Time (2013)

I adore this movie. It is geniune and sweet, and it makes my heart flutter with love and longing whenever I watch it. The romance is adorable, but the father-son relationship absolutely outshines it. And the iconic red wedding dress! My favorite Rachel McAdams movie ever, by far.

2. Emma (2020)

A joy to watch. The most beautiful color palette ever used in film Anya Taylor-Joy is a worldwide treasure and Mia Goth is close second. The way this movie intelligently and accurately depicts how privilege really works (and makes a lot of fantastic comments on how society still works) without ever losing its spark of humor, is really a sight to behold.

3. Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

Wes Anderson is really THAT guy. I want to live in this movie.

4. Ponyo (2008)

My favorite Little Mermaid retelling. I love all Ghibli movies in equal measure, but there is something absolutely soothing and comforting about this one. Obscenely beautiful and talks about love in a way that never fails to make me cry.

5. Ocean's 8 (2018)

Other heist movies don't have Rihanna in that red dress, so I don't see a point in watching other heist movies. Also, the scene with Anne Hathaway at the end will never not be absolutely hilarious.

6. Mamma Mia! (2008) and Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again (2018)

These movies are the definition of joy. Pure, unfiltered entertainment. Slipping Through My Fingers scene was written with one purpose only - to make all girls with mommy issues (me) weep. Idk why directors bother to try to write any more movies if these two masterpieces already exist.

7. Crazy Rich Asians (2018)

By far my favorite rom-com. Everyone is beautiful and ridiculous.

+ Cinderella (2015) because I couldn't not mention the only live-action to ever matter. Lily James in this blue dress makes me feel six again and it's a beautiful feeling.

tagging: @marauders-groupie @cameliawrites @whatanybodygets

and @yanak324 ❤

#tag game

[angelbellelc2]

Dark Blue Shadow chapter 2: The Professor's lamemt

Luke continues to stare at the hat as he felt the sudden need to ask his mentor something that's bothering him. Luke feels like there's more to the note as he notices the Professor's saddened expression spread across his face hidden beneath his treasured top hat. Luke begins to adjust himself to a certain distance between himself and the professor holding both note and hat. "Hey Professor would it be alright if I could ask you more about the note? I would like to know what happened to Clive and what is on your mind." Luke speaks with a very respectful tone but at the same time sounding very worried.

"If you want I could make us some english tea to make this easier for you and to let you know that I have been practicing." Luke suggested trying to make the atmosphere more palettable for the grief stricken gentlemen. Professor Layton adjusts his top hat as he agrees to the offer of freshly made tea and to speak his story of events. As Luke makes his way to prepare tea for his mentor the professor starts to retell the all to quick horrid events from gaining the note to the sudden death of Clive.

"I remember the day when I received the note my boy. Reading Clive's feelings of regret and self hatred made myself think that he needed to know that he shouldn't think of himself like that. That he deserved a second chance even if he himself didn't believe that." The professor continued on as Luke begins to firmly pour the tea into both cups slowly still listening further into his mentors story. "I made my way to where Clive was being held to try to talk himself out of taking his own life. I spoke about him being able to go on parole and that I could advocate for him if needed."

Clive listen fully to the professor word's taking to heart. "Alright then Professor I understand what you're coming from I suppose if you are sure that's still something worth living for. I would have to take your offer." Clive smiled even though it's a little faint confirms that there's still a chance for him. Clive then handed the professor the hat as his note mentioned.

The Professor continued on telling of the parole hearing and that Clive was finally allowed to be among the public once more but only if the Professor took full responsibility of Clive. "As a gentleman I felt it was my duty to help Clive in any means necessary so I agreed in taking him in as my responsibility my boy." For a quick moment the Professor's saddened expression became almost hopeful. The hopeful expression slowly transitioning into a more somber one as he continues.

"On the day of Clive's release at first glance Luke everything was going in a splendid way that looked hopeful for himself to start again. Everything was is perfect order as I made sure everything was prepared for his rehabilitation and Flora as thoughtful as she is made sure to make her ever so flavorful foods to celebrate." Professor Layton adjusts his top hat once more hidden beneath it as to endure speaking of Clive's fate.

Luke looks with concern as his mentor then starts to take out quick sip of the tea still hidden beneath his hat. "Luke you asked me of Clive's fate and what bothers me my boy. The truth of the matter is what exactly was Clive's fate. His death was undetermined and apparently classified. I felt like I failed him my boy he was ready to start once more but then taken before he had the chance. " The professor speaks with a guilty heart looking away from his ever loyal apprentice.

Luke shocked by this still makes an effort to comfort his mentor smiling softly. "Professor I'm sure you did the best you could and I would believe that Clive would be thankful for what you did for him. A gentlemen always goes out of his way to help anyone in need no matter the circumstances and he does the best he can." Luke says with a familiar tone that the professor usually used bringing a smile to the professor.

"Thank you for reminding me Luke. You're right a gentleman does his best in the end anyway." The professor says in response to his student and he starts to think of something himself. "Luke I thank you for the tea as I now have to take my leave now." The duo part ways until the next time they see each other again. Luke picks up the hat making his way back towards his bed seeing the professor through the window leaving until the next meeting.

#detective luke #luke triton #clive dove #professor layton unwound future #pl nwos #pl au #hershel layton #fanfiction #professor layton

[frostythefrostedfox]

What's your opinion on the recent Frontiers teaser?

Right between "Nothing", "Fucking boring" and "Is this game still a thing?"

Nah I am joking, my serious opinion is that this shit fucking sucks, its ass and I am sad it aint dying faster.

Let's start with the basic problematic stuff of this trailer

Eggman, why in the name of chao is Eggman tired, oh, let me guess, someone had the brilliant idea of "Lets make him lazy hahahaha", but guess what, WRONG, Eggman has been shown to be a fairly strong person, and have quite the physical prowess, where in fuck did this concept of "He uses machines bc he lazy" came from, really, because He has been shown doing physical activity before without breaking much of a sweat.

Second, these motherfuckers are so cheap they couldn't even get a few voicelines on the thing? Because I gotta be honest, this entire thing is very devoid of any emotion, it doesn't makes me feel anything, there is music sure, and there are things happening on the screen, but none is making an impact or being meaningful, they just stand there, clench their fists as if any of them was gonna do shit (because in case anyone forgot, the 3 stooges on the left don't have a physical form, Baldy McNosehair on the right aint certainly gonna fight this robot and Alexa 2 in the middle has no control over the robot so she is as useful as the first Alexa by Amazon.)

The fuck is this, really, the fucking flying fuck is this, this has to be the ugliest motherfucker I've seen all day, and I don't mean that as a compliment, is this supposed to be The End's new form? Because it looks like an amalgamation of all the other Titans into one, trying to look menacing and creepy but all it does is look like the failed fusion of Mistral and MG Rex from Metal Gear Rising, it even has Mistral's colour palette lol.

Wasn't The End supposed to signify your deepest fears (assuming for a second that was always a thing and not something someone in sega made up at the last instant to simply justify that awful touhou minigame at the end of the game) so why would this be in any form the physical manifestation of fear?

Again, the design is utter garbage, it only has two arms to the side, the rest are on top of that carapace thing on its back, which renders all arms automatically useless because they are barely able to reach for anything at the ends of it, he can't grab anything with those, they are just there to look menacing and "oh look, he's eeeevil" but they serve no function, besides, what is he gonna grab with it? Because there is only one titan with stuff to grab, and that's Knight, and that is only a sword and a shield, what you gonna use the rest of your arms for? Oh wait, for nothing! Just like I expected you to!

I assume this is the part that you and (literally nobody) everyone wanted me to talk about

This utter waste of screen time and hype-bait.

Why do I call it that? Because that's what it is, is literally what we had before but now the eyes are blue because blue is now the new orange or something like that, that is all that changed.

His transformation into this wasn't anything spectacular, just another burst of energy and ta-da, done. I'm sure 99% of the kiddies that are dying to play this shit aren't even old enough to watch the original dragon ball z, but when Goku turned into Super Saiyan 2 for the first time, not only there was a physical change on his appereance, it truly was something magnificent, you just had to be there; now, why would I compare this to SS2? Because in case anyone forgot, Sonic is just Furry Goku, and if you don't believe me, ask any actual sonic fan, not the newer ones that unironically think this game is well written, the ones that are old enough to consume alcohol, legally, in all jurisdictions of Planet Earth.

Anyways, i am getting sidetracked; this is supposed to be a "Teaser", why in heaven's name would you reveal your biggest card in a teaser? Is like the "Would you kindly" thing from Bioshock 1 was shown in the first trailer, y'all get what I'm saying right? Please don't ever play poker in your life, because you're gonna start jumping up and down when you get a pair of aces. Why the fuck would you show the "wowzers" moment of the update in a teaser, not even a trailer, a teaser.

Second, what purpose does this form serves? Super Sonic is already strong enough to easily conquer the other titans, he was never struggling in any point of the game as super sonic to kill them, he always had this "Imma kill you" expression mixed with "Pathetic" on his face, he killed all four titans without even sweating, why a new one would be a problem? This overhyped tech demo has zero idea of how to escalate a context because it aint escalating, is the same thing we had before, but then again, his new form also is the same one we had before but now featuring big blue evil demon eyes (or some bullshit like that some fans are gonna start calling it in a few days, or maybe they are already because oh my god we've never played a real game in our lives before.)

This form really serves zero purpose, it is just there to pretend like SEGA is trying to get sonic somewhere other than the bank to cash in all of their millions that the "highest selling game in the franchise" gave them while at the same time spending as little money as they can so they can maximize their profit margins; this form is just there to make you look the other way and be all hyped for "look super sonic with blue yes" so you can ignore the blatant problems of this game that are still not fixed and the updates actually added more or made them worse; this form exists so you can look up to big boy sonic team and thank them for the crumbs while at the same time chanting your mantra of "At least it aint forces" and/or "At least it aint 06" while you eat up whatever that is remotely serviceable and praise it to heaven and back not because is good, but because it doesn't sucks like 90% of the content we've gotten for the past 15 years.

But deep down I know all the answers to my questions

This shit was planned from the start, this is the same shit EA does with 90% of their games but everyone hates because is cool to hate EA, this is the same game that many other companies have played before, the whole "thank you for your imput" and then they wait until what people says alligns with what they were gonna do since the beginning so they can either say "look guys, we listened to you" if it comes out good, or "this is what you asked for" if it bombs; this is the same shenanigans we've seen countless times before, but since is SEGA, we must bow to them like they are reinventing videogames, but I guess I expected too much of the average internet user.

Don't think I'll ever forget when I predicted all of this shit almost a year ago and y'all called me "overthinker" and "paranoid".

#sonic #sonic frontiers #ask #rant

[just-honey-dewd]

Miraculous Ladybug Season 5: Episode 1 Tangent

So I felt a strong urge to get this out of my system. Usually most ML episodes just feel like noise to me. I’m not usually compelled to write whole posts about them, so this could just be a fluke. Heads up, these will be spoilers for this episode, and they’re mostly negative. Oh, and it’s long…

For whatever stakes Season 4 supposedly set up, I’m not surprised the very first episode required the contrived intelligence deprivation of all the characters involved.

For starters, of course Gabriel didn’t use the Rabbit miraculous with a given plan, he was already obsessively giggling about getting the jump on Ladybug and aimlessly targetting their miraculouses even though time travel is hella OP and we coulda seen an attempt at using one of the most dangerous miraculous in place of making a sacrificial wish.

Oh yeah, speaking of sacrificial wish, unless eng subs are failing, Sass outright states it as a life sacrifice. Nothing abstract like “emotional value” the recipient may hold towards an object, personality, or memories. It’s a life for a life. Not as cool or nuanced as Equivalent Exchange, but was there any expectation for that…?

Anyways, had to watch 22 minutes of the grand equivalent of a Scooby Doo chase sequence across doors and hallways. And the heroes had so many opportunities to get the other miraculous — specifically crucial that they should’ve prioritised the Rabbit and Dragon miraculouses, since Gabriel pulled Air Dragon on them twice. There were several instances where he was tied up and the heroes just circle him and talk.

I feel like with the early seasons, Ladybug and Chat Noir were a lot more effective at acting without needing to exchange any dialogue. Like the way they were able to speedrun the mini villains back in Kung Food.  Also every instance Ladybug didn’t just use her yo-yo to pull the staggering, wheezing Gabriel back to them was secondhand cringe.

It’s really impressive how obnoxiously close everyone was to each other, yet everyone seemed to be in no hurry. If the heroes wanted to end Hawkmoth once and for all, I really feel like Ladybug could’ve gone harder and taken back all the miraculouses that Gabriel (who is now full on autopilot mode) fuckin wore on his person.

Also the new hero designs were atrocious, I’m sorry. You’d think Rabbit and Cat miraculous could look good, but that’d require creativity and/or decent attempts at creating colour palettes unique to the individual. But we’re stuck with light blue being the main colour influence to anyone who uses the Rabbit miraculous, as with all other miraculouses. So uglyass neon cyan with black, cuz everyone knows neon goes great with black. Not to mention the terrible looking bunny ears, but I’ll try and pull back from that. The bunny and dog combined didn’t even try to incoorporate the look of the dog it’s hilarious. Why is everyone who wears the dog fated to either look bad, or lame?

Gabriel for the majority of this episode is so infuriating, there’s no nuance to him since… season 1 maybe? But then again, his dignity was already put in question all the way back in Simon Says. Uptight, arrogant headass got himself almost committing suicide, yet the old man never learns.

Gabriel could’ve done something with that drive, and whatever it was, would’ve been more significant to the viewers if we were… idk… introduced to what the drive was??? I couldn’t give two shits about what it could’ve meant. I knew he wasn’t even questioning it, he was gonna go straight for Ladybug and Chat Noir even when going after them is the equivalent of throwing your head into a brick wall the umpteenth time and expecting different. He deserves no salvation. He chose to continue fighting a losing battle of wits with teenagers, over the potential higher chance of salvation for his wife, and Nathalie.

I’m glad Nathalie berated and basically abandoned him at the end, his path is not even an effectively evil one. It’s incompetent, hard-headed, and unsympathetic. He’s a sad dumb little manchild. He isn’t even fun to root for cuz he can’t outsmart or think critically for shit. Ladybug and Chat Noir aren’t doing any better in that department honestly.

Man, the moment Felix walked Gabriel through to an advantageous point, Gabriel tripped down a flight of stairs, and just kept tripping harder. The season finale was a “I’m ready to give everything I’ve got for this mission. I will risk it all” and Evolution being the byproduct of that, and he’s now just “Well, I didn’t think past this point. What now?”

He’s as directionless as a headless chicken. Felix please come back, the story can’t progress with the sluggish rate of the main characters… You need to wheelchair Old man Gabe into his own victory again.

#my posts #this isn’t art #ml s4 spoilers #ml s5 spoilers #evolution #time travel shenanigans #everyone should leave this toxic idiotic man #i’m concerned over the parallels i was able to draw from gabriel taking the same route that keeps failing him #with how adrien went about using second chance with the snake miraculous #i hope to god adrien doesn’t end up as dumb as bricks like his old man to pull that amount of bullshit on everyone and himself #anyways take care #miraculous ladybug #gabriel agreste

[primalsouls]

checkup

albedo x m! reader

⚠️ : none but let me know!

theme: general

note: albedo albedo albedo albedo. i just love albedo and want to write something more general because usually the fics i read tend to be too fluff or too angst and sometimes other fics tend to feel like a super slow. like, im not trying to read an eassy. 💀 jkjk lol anyway, enjoy, hope you like it! and thank you for reading! let me know what you think. :)

⊱ ──────ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ────── ⊰

Dragonspine was never in their bucket list of places to visit. It was deadly cold. Monsters roamed around. Even the Fatui were presented. [Y/N] was surprised how he managed to reached the campus set out by the Chief Alchemist further up the mountain. One would think he would camp out with the group based at the bottom of the mountain. He was a skilled swordman and his vision kept him warm throughout the difficult journey as best as it could. He did broke a sweat when fighting a few monsters but all that was important was his destination. Thus meeting Albedo, the genius Kreideprinz. [Y/N] was new to the Knight of Favonius, started back a few weeks ago. Today he was ordered by the Acting Grand Master to assist the Captain of the Investigation Team in one of his experiments. Or alternatively, Jean worried about the alchemist not taking care of himself and potentially risking failed experiments turn to unwanted results in Dragonspine and Mondstadt.

It was his order to check on the man. But, by the Archons, does he had to camp this far up. [Y/N] groaned when he reached a broken bridge. How was he going to get to the other side? Ah, right. Gliding. With a good running start, he could jump just high enough and glide his way to the other half of the fallen bridge with no added injuries. A flawless plan.

Not.

A scream left his lips when he jumped as best as he could after his run. No wonder he did terrible at mathematics. His calculations were off. And now, he was going to pump down to his end. Just to check on some big-time, smart guy. [Y/N] should had decline. But he wanted to prove himself. For what now? Prove he can see the light firsthand? What a joke. He reached out, his hand inches away from the other broken part of the bridge. He was so focus on reaching something to grab on he didn't hear his own scream leave his mouth nor the abrupted tug on his hand held by another. He came to his senses when he smacked against the wall under the brigde harshly, letting out a groan. [Y/N] looked up. [E/C] eyes met bright teal eyes. Such beautiful eyes. It felt like he was staring into emerald instead. They outshined the blues around Dragonspine. Like sun if the clouds ever go away.

"Are you only going to keep staring or help me pull you up?" He heard, the soothe voice snapping [Y/N] out of their thoughts. A blush bloomed on his face as he cleared his throat, using his other hand to keep himself firm in their hold.

"S-Sorry..." [Y/N] mumbled as he was pulled up. Solid, cold ground was what he felt right away. He looked over his shoulder, grimacing at the sight of the long fall he could had experienced first and last. Cursing the fall away, the knight turned back to his savior, about to thank them until he stopped himself. Upon closer look, his savior was... handsome. Their ashy light blonde hair reached below their shoulders, pulled back in a braided ponytail. It lookes adorable. Soft, even. It makes him want to run his fingers through it. Realizing he was staring again, [Y/N] cleared his throat as he shook his head, his blush increasing in color. Eyes darted to stare at the ground instead. "Uh, thank yo-you... Thank you for saving me back there." The knight said with a small smile, looking back his savior only to see them walk away already. "What?" [Y/N] sat there forzen, not believing what happened. He chuckled weakly, now pissed for the rude manner. "Hey, wait up!" He stood up from the ground, dusting himself off from any snow as he ran up to catch up to the mystery person. "You know, it's really rude to jusf walk away like that!" [Y/N] complained, slowing down as he came up to a campsite. His eyes widen a bit. There were bookshelves lined up again the walls of the cavern. Tables filled with written pages and materials. A small set of art supplies in one area and an crafting table by his side. Did his savior lived here? Wait, was this...?

"Are you the Captain of the Investigation Team, Albedo?" The knight said, walking up to the alchemist who simply nodded with no reply. He was focused on his work, [Y/N] could see that. "Oh okay..." He muttered underneath his breath, raising a brow. Well, here he was. The alchemist looked alright. There was no sight of any failed experiments. Mondstadt was good to stay for another day. But [Y/N] wasn't leaving yet. "My name is [F/N]. I was ordered by the Acting Grand Master to check on you... Which is why I'm here..." Albedo only gave a faint hum. What a conversationalist. "Okaaay..." The young man looked around. He couldn't just leave after what he just experienced. He was still shaky.

"Where are you from?" [Y/N] asked, attempting to make a conversation.

"Here and there." Albedo replied bluntly.

"What do you do?"

"This and that."

"You ever-"

"Now and then."

"Gosh, you're just full of information." [Y/N] grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"And you're just full of interruptions." Albedo fired back, finally looking away from his work and turned to the knight. His expression was stoic but his beautiful emerald eyes held a hint of annoyance. His comment made the other man pouted and rolled his eyes. "You done your quest. Now, you may leave."

"What the-? Huh?" He couldn't believe it. He was being kicked out? Reasonable, actually. But still. What a rude alchemist. "Okay, look, I have to actually make sure you're okay and Jean said to stay for a few days before I return, anyway." [Y/N] explained. Albedo sighed softly, disinterested from the interaction. The knight clicked his tongue. "So, no, I'm not leaving." The knight huffed, head held high. Albedo hummed again, already looking back at his work. "Oh my- really?" [Y/N] shook his head, running a hand through his hair. He kept studying the area they were in, trying to locate any sort of self-care going on. There was a cook pot but the burned woods look as if it had went out hours ago. "How long had you been working?"

Albedo shrugged, papers being moved around in his area. [Y/N] sighed. He went to stand beside the table, inches away from him to not disturb his work. With the closeup, [Y/N] saw fainted dark circles under his eyes. He looked a little pale, too.

"Have you eaten at all? Rest?" He asked softly, a frown on his face. His gloved hands rest on his waist. [Y/N] looked like a parent scolding their child. Albedo shrugged again. The knight groaned, head tilted back. The lack of responses were starting to pissed him off. "I'll make you something." He grumbled, looking into his traveling bag as he walked over to the pot. Using his Pryo vision, he watched the flames come to alive once more. He pulled out pre-packaged ingredients he made himself before he set off.

Albedo's concentration was fully on his project but the smell of a delicious meal wandered around his nose. It pulled him out of his priority. The scent made his stomach growled. The Geo user stopped what he was doing and turned around. His eyes spotted the knight crouched down beside the pot, stirring around the contents it cooked. The flames illuminated the small cave, the knight's face glowed from it. Hair swayed back, half-lidded eyes stared boredly at the pot. Soft lips pressed into a thin line. It was a pretty sight. A perfect picture. A gorgeous paint on a canvas. His canvas. The scenery needed to be painted in his canvas.

[Y/N] heard movements behind him but he didn't bother to look up. He figured the alchemist was still all over his experiments. Behind his back, Albedo set up his easel, an 18x24 canvas rest nicely on it. His paints, brushes, and palette laid beside him on a stool with a cup of water on it as well. He began to sketch out the sight, a concentrated frown on his face.

"Hmm... I think it's done." [Y/N] muttered to himself, smiling a bit at the cooked stew he made. He was about to get up but a shout stopped him.

"Don't move! I'm not done yet." He heard the alchemist. The Pyro user blinked, confusion written over his face. "Not done..." Albedo continued, his hand moving a brush around. [Y/N] swallowed, wondering what he was doing.

"Why can't I move?" He asked, still in the position.

"Because I'm not finish."

"Finish with what?"

"The painting... It's not finished..." Albedo trailed off, focusing more on the canvas. [Y/N] was dumbfounded. Ah, right. The alchemist had a set of art supplies. But why could he be painting? Was he painting him? He was just sitting around the cook pot, nothing else. What did he capture in his mind to had the urge to paint? So much questions ran through his head and his face rest back to how it was when the knight stared at the pot. Just what Albedo needed to complete his new piece.

Half an hour passed and the flames were small. the pot was sat beside it. No need to have burnt food. [Y/N]'s legs were starting to cramp.

"Are you do-"

"Done." Albedo finished for him, stepping back from his canvas. [Y/N] sighed in relief as he stood up and stretched his limps out, hearing a few joints popped. Surely didn't sounded good but felt good. He walked over to Albedo.

"Can I see, please?" He asked, tilting his head. Albedo stared at the canvas before shifting his eyes over to the knight. He suddenly felt flustered. What a foreign feeling. It was he was embarrassed. He was not embarrassed. His face felt warmed. Was he blushing? What was going on? [Y/N] waited for an answer, raising a brow as he sent a charming smile his way. Why did such a gesture made his chest tightened but in a good way? Like something fluttered inside him. Was his heart beat increasing? Impossible. Feelings were unfamiliar to him. So, why was he experiencing them right now? "Albedo..." His name rolled out of his mouth. It sounded perfect. Did he just noticed it?

"It's not finished..." Albedo replied quickly, throwing [Y/N] off guard.

"But you said-"

"It's not finished." Albedo repeated, clearing his throat. The knight nodded slowly.

"Okaay..." [Y/N] mumbled, looking back at the pot. "Ah, well, dinner is ready. C'mon, let's eat." He said, walking back at the pot to begin serving the meal for both. Albedo watched him, lips parted slightly. His teal eyes moved back to the canvas. Finished. It was finished. He just... didn't want to show the knight but why? It was beautifully painted. A pretty piece. The look he captured from the knight painted there. Admirable.

"Are you coming or what?" [Y/N] called out, already setting the other table for them to eat at. Albedo blinked and nodded a second later. He placed his brush and palette down, taking his gloves off as he made his way over. There they sat. In complete silence. It wasn't awkward, fortunately. It was comfortable atmosphere. No need to exchange words. Albedo seem to like that. Perhaps Jean did a good thing to sent someone out. It felt nice to have company over for once.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x male reader #x reader #x male reader #genshin impact albedo #albedo x reader #albedo x male reader #primal writes

[weallpartyatybcpatricksfuneral]

I'll be making this into a long fic, but for now I chose to keep it short. Hermitcraft x Dream SMP crossover

Title: button

Grian sat down at the oak wood table, brow furrowed. Another day, another failed attempt to reconnect to Hermitcraft. The strange glitch that had caused the border to fall in the first place must have been repaired, for the world border was back up and running. His communicator didn’t work outside of his home server, and Phil’s crows (who insisted on following the man everywhere, and who Phil had put up to the task of flying between the severs, trying to gather intel on the border glitch and if people were trying to find him) haven’t delivered any news. 

    The builder glanced out the window as the sun set over the horizon. Past that was Hermitcraft. His home. What was Mumbo doing? Scar? Iskall? Xisuma? How was the war progressing without him? Did anyone notice his absence? No, Grian, don’t get sad. Happy thoughts only...Happy thoughts. 

    “Grain!” 

    Torn away from his thoughts, Grian looked up to see Philza, his dark grey wings fluffed up in distress. “Wil’s sent a letter.” The avian said, holding up a piece of paper. 

    “Well, that’s good!” Phil had been under extreme stress these past couple of days since Wilbur hadn’t sent a letter in weeks and the past few he had sent were...concerning, to say the least. “What’s it say?” 

    Another letter should have been a relief, but from the look on Phil’s face, Grian concluded that this letter was everything except relief.

    “It’s just a date, time, and coordinates. November 16th, noon, with a set of coords in L’Manberg…” Phil’s voice trailed off as his dark emerald eyes scanned the page, over and over, as if he were looking for more writing than just a simple date. 

    “That’s tomorrow, innit?” Grian questioned, trying to distract the man from his distress. That’s how Grian ignored his. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. “I mean, you’ll be able to see your sons, check up on Wil?” 

    “Something doesn’t feel right about this, Grain.” Even after all this time together, Phil still called him Grain. Grian stifled a laugh, as it wasn’t the appropriate time to giggle. “His last few letters concerned me. He mentioned something in his last one about 11 and a half stacks of TNT.” Phil looked Grian dead in the eye and whispered, “Grain, I think Wilbur is going to blow L’Manberg!” 

    “But why?” Grian attempted to rationalize with the distraught Phil, who was now pacing across the room making stressed-out bird noises. “He won the election, shouldn’t he be content with that?” This type of stuff never happened on Hermitcraft. There were never serious talks of blowing up anyone’s builds, much less an entire country! The only time TNT is used is in pranks, and they always helped clean up after. 

    “You clearly don’t know Wilbur...He’s a force of chaos, I’ll tell you that. A creative little shit who always comes up with new ways to get what he wants. If he wants L’Manberg gone, then he’ll go to crazy lengths to achieve that goal.”

    Silence fell. 

    “We need to get to L’Manberg. Now. It’s about a day’s flight from here, and we need to leave now if we want to get there as fast as fucking possible.” Phil tucked the letter into the pocket of his dark green kimono and flexed his wings. Unlike Grian, who used the sleek and slim elytra to fly about, Philza had a pair of actual feathery wings. Upon arrival, Phil explained that he was a bird hybrid, also known as an avian. He had feathers on the sides of his face and neck with elfish ears. Back on Hermitcraft, every member of the server was human. 

Grian and Phil started out on their journey north, towards the world border of Dream SMP. The sun had risen, and the world border was in sight. Phil stated that Dream, the apparent Admin of the server, had agreed to let up the border for a few seconds to let Phil and Grian inside. Phil took a rest on a tree, breathing heavily after hours of non-stop flight.  

“You alright, Big P?” If Phil could nickname him Grain, Grian would nickname him as well. A smile twinged across Phil’s face. 

“Ahh...You sound so much like my youngest, Tommy. He says that to people too. You remind me of him so much. Right down to your red shirt and the aura of pure, unbridled chaos you emit.” 

Both men laughed. Grian really enjoyed Phil’s laugh, and despite how giggly and giddy the avian usually was, it had been a few days since he had last heard him laugh. Wilbur’s lack of letters had really spooked him. 

“Will you stay?” 

“Hmm?” 

“In L’Manberg. I mean, it’s closer to your sons.” 

Phil shrugged and drank a potion of strength, and stood. 

“I might, depending on what happens. If my theory is correct, and Wilbur is going to blow the place up, then I’ll probably stay. Just to help him out and help clean up y’know? Maybe I’ll be able to convince him to come home. Before you got here, I was...really lonely.” 

“Well, you won’t be lonely anymore! Since I can’t return home yet, I’ll be your friend so you don’t have to be lonely!” 

“Thanks, Grain.” 

“You’re welcome, Big P!” 

The two rose and started to fly towards the world border. Maybe Grian could make a new home on Dream SMP. The builder already started making plans for an epic build, having a vague idea in his head. However, he would have to inspect the landscapes available to see what his block palette would be and what style his build would be. Grian thought of his mansion back home and wanted to build something similar to remember it. 

“Oi! Grain! You there mate?” 

Grian shook his head as he was, again, dragged from his daydreams by Phil. They had arrived at the world border. “I’ve sent word to Dream, he should be letting us in soon.” 

“Alrighty! What kind of base do you want to build if you stay?”

    Phil just shrugged. “Eh. Don’t know just yet. Don’t want to start anything too ambitious, like a Hardcore project.” 

Grian kept forgetting that this man held the world record for the longest Hardcore run. Phil was only 5”4 and didn’t look that intimidating. He looked loving and fatherly, and Grian considered Phil to be like a father to him. But the man was a dedicated Hardcore player, and could easily take Grian down in a fight. It scared him, sometimes, about how little he actually knew about Phil. 

“Alright, mate, let’s go.” The blue striped border had been removed by the mysterious admin, and the two flew into Dream SMP. Grian felt a buzz from his communicator and pulled it from his pocket. 

<Grian joined the game>  

<Ph1LzA joined the game> 

Unlike in Hermitcraft, when a member joins the server (especially a new member), the entire chat would be flooded with ‘hello!’ messages. However, on the Dream SMP, there were one or two directed at Phil. How peculiar. Phil went silent as they flew over the woods and forest. In the distance, Grian could see what appeared to be a city. That must be L��Manberg. It wasn’t as big or as grand as some builds on Hermitcraft, heck his own base would have taken up over half of the area if he lived there. On a tall pole lay what Grian assumed was the flag of L’Manberg, inky black, with a fiery red arch and X. Interesting design. Phil didn’t go into the city, however, he flew towards the coordinates that Wilbur had written in his letter, his brow furrowed. Fireworks crackled and popped throughout L’Manberg. 

Grian landed with Phil, in front of a small tunnel that bore deep into a hill that was just outside the country. 

“It’s now or never. Grain, stay behind me.” Phil tucked the letter away and led Grian through the tunnel, and into a compact stone room. Carved into the wall were words. No, not just words. Lyrics. 

I heard there was a special place, 

where men could go and emancipate. 

From the brutality and tyranny of their rulers. 

Well, this place was real, you needn’t fret, 

With Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, fuck Eret. 

It’s a very big place, not blown up L’Manberg. 

MY L’MANBERG

MY L’MANBERG

MY L’MANBERG…

Those lyrics were carved all over the stone walls, and in the middle, was a stone button. In front of that button, was Philza’s eldest son, Wilbur. 

Grian had never actually seen Wilbur before, only in an old picture of when Phil, Wilbur, and Phil’s other two sons, Tommy and Technoblade, won MCC 4. In that picture, Wilbur wore a cute yellow sweater with a brown beanie, with a shimmering smile on his face. 

The man that stood before them now was not that person. It couldn’t be. Wilbur stood, hunched over a stone button, whispering to himself. He donned a brown trenchcoat and ditched the beanie. 

“What are you doing?” Phil asked.

Wilbur turned to face them. His eyes had no emotion in them, his smile no longer shimmered. Standing before them was an insane man. 

“I will admit,” Wilbur said. His voice sent a chill down Grian’s spine, “Do you know what this is? What this button is?” Phil’s speculations appeared to be true. Wilbur was trying to destroy L’Manberg. 

“Uh huh. I do.” How, how could Phil be so calm? 

“Have you heard the song? The song on the walls?” Wilbur’s fingers gently ran over the words ‘MY L’MANBERG’. His eye twitched, “I was just making a big point you know? About how there was a special place, it was a special place. But that's not there anymore.” Wil’s voice lowered to a hush. 

“It is there, Wil, it's out there.” 

“PHIL I’M ALWAYS SO CLOSE TO PRESSING THIS BUTTON! I’VE BEEN HERE LIKE SEVEN OR EIGHT TIMES--” Voices from above cut Wilbur off. Grian could hear footsteps above them. Wilbur turned his eyes to the stone ceiling and lowered his voice. “Oh they're going to come…I need to block this off.” Wilbur hastily piled blackstone bricks in the doorway, which not only sealed whoever “they” were out, but also sealed Grian, Phil, and Wilbur in.

“Oh Phil...I’ve been here so many times.” 

Numerous fireworks exploded outside. 

<Tubbo_ went off with a bang due to a firework fired from [Rocket Launcher] by Technoblade> 

“Oh they’re fighting, they’re fighting…” WIlbur whispered, sounding tired. 

“And you just want to...to blow it all up? You fought so hard for this land, Wilbur, and you just want to...destroy it all?” Phil tried to reason.

“I don’t even know if the button works anymore, Phil, I could press it, and it might--”

“Do you want to risk it? There is a lot of TNT potentially connected to that button.” 

Wilbur seemed to hear him. His breathing got heavier as he returned to that hunched over position over the stone button. What was this place? Nothing serious ever happened on Hermitcraft. There were no seriously high stakes, there were no serious threats, no serious danger. It was all in good fun. 

“There...there was a saying, Phil...by, uh, by a traitor. Once part of L’Manberg, don’t know if you ever heard of Eret, but he had a saying.” 

Wilbur looked up at Phil. Grian could see the familiar resemblance between the two, they shared emerald green eyes. 

“It was never meant to be.” Wilbur whispered that phrase, and pressed the stone button. 

#dream smp #hermitcraft #dream smp x Hermitcraft #grian #fic #philza Minecraft #phil #philza #wilbur soot #wilbur #button room #angst #dream smp lore #c!Phil #c!Wilbhr #Insanebur

[ignitification]

LoV Colour Analysis Part I: Shigaraki Tomura.

As this analysis would be quite too long to read in one go, I decided to split it into three parts, each covering one of the Three Main Villains of BNHA (Shigaraki Tomura, Himiko Toga and Dabi).

All three do denote a precise and powerful colour scheme, but on today’s episode I am going to focus on the Leader of the League of Villains aka Shigaraki Tomura or Shimura Tenko.

Shigaraki’s colour pattern variates from Red (shoes and eyes), Black (his usual outfits, his hair when younger) to Light Blue, Grey and White (colour of his hair, skin and hands).

The interesting fact is how Shimura’s colour evolve with his persona and Quirk. The third paragraph is dedicated to the colour Yellow, which is not part of the palette associated with Tenko, but I included it because it adds to the detailing of Shigaraki’s character.

(Spoilers ahead! & tw/: mentions of canon-compliant violence; death)

I.) From Black to Light Blue to White 

During his growth, evolution as a villain and person, not considering the one spurred from his Quirk, Tenko’s hair undergo a quite big development. While the colour of his clothes stays more or less stable (being black throughout the entire series), what differentiates his eras is the colour of his hair. In his childhood, before manifesting his Quirk, Tomura’s hair was dark (strikingly similar to the one both Touya and Izuku sported). This changed to light blue/grey in his years until last arc, where after being himself an experiment under the hands of Doctor Death (Kyudai Garaki is a very creepy man) to inherit the original AfO’s Quirk, his hair becomes snow white (as a result of the transformation, I would believe - but it might as well mean another thing which I will talk about later). 

Beginning with maybe the easiest association: the colour black. 

A little note of the fear association: in this case, I would like to interpret it as Shigaraki being aware of his decaying Quirk and freak people out because of that, and because of his external looks, which do look like the one of a decaying child.

Power refers definitely to both his position and his Quirk, in this case - which make him stand out even more. However, the strength in this case, in my opinion, is more a smoke screen: black is also worn as a protection from external damage, as in stress and emotional backlash. This creates a barrier between the subject and the world, protecting internal emotions, and hiding its vulnerabilities, insecurities and lack of self confidence. The emotional trauma, the ‘hands shield’ Shigaraki derived, in a way, from his trauma and from being confronted with something, has shaken him to the core since childhood, and in this case the clothes serve to protect him from himself and his ‘actions’. In this aspect, him wearing black as a child might also stand for him trying to shield himself away from his parent’s judgement and stare, while protecting his will to want to be a hero, despite their negative reaction to any hint of that. These meaning are, in conclusion a full circle: one calls for the other, especially in Shigaraki’s case.

Black is also associated with mystery, evil and aggression. Shigaraki is written as an enigmatic villain, cold-hearted, devoid of any humanity and the will to full front destroy everything in its path. And while the meaning perfectly fit to how Shigaraki should be, I do believe that this is a very superficial and banal description of such a complex character. 

One thing which I found particularly interesting about this colour and its relation to Shigaraki, it’s the rocky tie that appears between black and its meaning as in rebellion. This aspect might refer to two different conditions: it might suppose a certain degree of refusal and hate for authority (The society at large), and at the same time the rebellion from his own family/persona/mentor, which could entail a fundamental foreshadow for Tenko’s destiny.

The color black affects the mind and body by producing feelings of emptiness, gloom, or sadness.

 I think here again, this might just an extermination of the feeling that have been torturing Shigaraki from the inside since he was a child, and that he himself has not acknowledged, which also stands to explain how he tries to feel that void or to ‘eliminate the scratch’ that has been tormenting him, and that knows no peace.

Furthermore, In Japanese culture, the colour black mainly denotes non-being (apart from mourning) and evil-heartedness in a person. This meaning is consistent with the personality described to us by Horikoshi: Shigaraki Tomura ceases to be a person at one point, when his consciousness gets subdued by AfO for a while. It is important to note here, how White (on the other side of the spectrum) is also the colour of death and mourning.

Not entirely worth mentioning, is that black is the stereotypical colour worn by villains and bad guys in different fictional environments.

(Light) Blue/Grey.

Just a reminder: neither grey nor blue are explicit colour in Tenko’s palette as a character, but I think they are still important and since greyish blue (the precise colour oh his hair) has not its own meaning, I took the freedom to actually associate the two separate colour in association to describe this period of transition between black and white.

The phase in which Tomura has Greyish-Blue hair is the longest one (in terms of years), but also the phase of passage (which consequently is the phase he is exploring, and is in the ‘grey zone’, where things are just getting defined and there are no absolutes). Grey, in this sense, sports both characteristics from White and Black (depending on the shade used), and even if not explicitly used for Tenko, it still represents a landmine in his development.

The colour grey is an ‘unemotional’ colour. It is detached, neutral, impartial and indecisive - all traits that can be reconnected at Shigaraki. Indeed, it is after his encounter with Izuku at the mall where he recognises why exactly (or so he thinks) he rages and wants to bring destruction to the world as known. This indicates how he has been striving for a real purpose, like the one Stain has, in order to actually understand what he is doing and evolve from the child the Heroes define him as, to a Villain with the capital V. He does relate to reality in partial ways, while he tries to define his identity as something that has died inside of him, Shimura Tenko, and at the same time the part that has lived on through the memories he removed and the hands which accompany him. He does not know which part is stronger, and trying to figure it out he tries and fails, only to try again.  To confirm the shaping of Shigaraki, indeed grey is a conforming colour and most of all it struggles with identity, which is arguably the most prominent trait Shigaraki presents during the first arcs of the story.

On the other hand, Blue symbolises coolness, passivity, fidelity. Somehow it reverberates the meaning of grey, while at the same time enhancing its other effects (it being emotionless and calm, undecided but also flowing). Blue is also indicator of depth, wisdom, confidence, and intelligence (among others). This also confirms the precedent meanings (of especially white) and it adds another dimension to Tenko’s character. It is clear how he feels deeply, and is still very clever in its own way. Still, this development and phase serves for him to obtain the other characteristics proposed by blue, especially wisdom and confidence (refer to Black where I said how sometimes the clothes are a screen to hide his true feelings). 

Blue is a colour that’s constant and unchanging, which contrasts with grey and brings forwconstant struggle in Tenko. Blue is also nostalgic. Curious is how blue lives in the past, relating everything in the present and the future to experiences in the past. I think that this is what blue is about with Tenko: he struggles to look forward, to forgive and let go because he never forgot his dad, his grandma or even society for when they had brought upon him as an innocent child. His bringing up has been focused, after all, on his developing his constant feeling of sadness, rage and gloom and the necessary power to express them in confident ways, which could bring destruction forward. Tenko is a puppet in AfO’s hands since he has ‘saved’ him, so I think this is why the sentence in which Shigaraki tries to break free from AfO’s will is a break point for the story, and for Shigaraki as well. 

Blue is also known for being deceitful and spiteful, depressed and sad, passive, self-righteous, emotionally unstable, weak, unforgiving. It can also indicate manipulation, unfaithfulness and being untrustworthy.

Indeed, it is after that Izuku sees Tenko being kneeled over by AfO and his presence that he understands that Shigaraki too, is human and that maybe the reasons for his rage and absolute hate for everything he comes across have deep roots, which is why even if he cannot forgive him for all the pain he has brought, he wants to save him.  

Finally, the paler the blue the more freedom we feel - which brings me to my theory on what, throughout the years Tenko’s hair have been ‘decaying’ and bleaching out. I think that as a child, Tenko is caged and tries to break free of his cage, of his ‘itch’ but he cannot because he does not realise what it is, and there is no freedom for him to actually understand. The first time he uses his Quirk, he feels finally satisfied for the first time. He tasted freedom for the first time, and now he wants to do it again and again. Growing up, however his ideals become blurry and he does not understand what he actually wants. He does know that the hands on his body represent what he has lost and what is actually still there with him, giving him strength and will, but at the same time he does not know what is beyond there. Which is why, after he goes through the transformation by Garaki, his hair becomes white: he gets rid of the insecurities, of the shackles that have stopped him from actually achieving his goal, or rather to pursue it freely. His ultimate goal, after all, is to get rid of his ‘itch’, which, in its own way, it’s his language to say that Shimura Tenko wants freedom.

As a note, Blue is also the colour of the Throat chakra. It is located in the throat, but it is linked to the throat, neck, hands, and arms. This Chakra is linked to speech. 

Final remark on blue: this colour is one of the most important lucky colors in Japan ( together with yellow, white, purple, green and, red) - and all the colour associated with Tomura, except for black, is indeed considered lucky.

White 

White, is an inherently positive colour, is usually associated with purity, innocence, light, goodness, beginnings, possibility and perfection. However it is also described an dperceived as cold, impersonal and bland. Shigaraki after his ‘transformation’ is the perfect soldier: he is very powerful, to a fault, and represents a new chapter in not only his own life but as well in the one which has been conducted by AfO, as he sees him as his vessel. The fact is that the beginning of a new Shigaraki which is flawless, in appearance, is a very well constructed lie. While he should represent perfection, first of all his transformation has not been entirely completed and furthermore, while it does represent a clean slate in his check, is also the possibility, reality coming through for AfO to take advantage of the body new, which Tomura must preserve. As the new Shigaraki however, has his ideals very present and wants to fight for them, to protect his feelings and his ideas, it is anyway a struggle for both him and AfO to juggle through everything going on Tenko’s mind, and emerge victorious. This is also the most interesting aspect of this colour: the goodness and inherent purity which comes from this colour implies a purification process in Shigaraki’s character, who instead gets fixed even more on him not wanting to forgive society and insisting on going on his rampage, because at the same time he cannot let go of these feelings, because now they are the only thing which make him go forward.

White is usually used in contrast to black, and represents the dichotomy of good and bad.

The psychological meaning of white is wholeness and completion. This also refers to the meaning and falls into the category of ‘perfection’: it is a new beginning, but at the same time it represents the closure of a cycle and the beginning of a new one: a perfect one, which represents closure (‘The Circle’). Tomura is supposed to be the new complete weapon at AfO’s will, but as I states before this is a fought point (between the two of them).

White, in cultures that believe in reincarnation is held in high regard. Indeed, they sustain how white is a sign of rebirth. 

Technically, Shigaraki has been reborn. What I mean is that he has transformed himself into not a new person, but in a better version of himself, he upgraded - and now of course going back is not an option. He has been held in a womb, breeding his new potential and now he became an individual whose strength far surpasses normal, his quirk control is absolutely insane and as well his memories, ideas and feelings are heightened. The theme of rebirth, which I think fits both Shigaraki and Dabi, is used a few times in BNHA, but as for Shigaraki it is very literal and very clear (after all he has been asleep for a time, just to wake up and fight an entire war against the Heroes). It is clear however, how his personality has been rebirth too: while he was not insecure, but more hesitant, now he is sure of his objective and he thrives on achieving it. What distinguishes therefore the old Shigaraki from this new one is the knowledge of being powerful and therefore being able to accomplish what we wants.

Finally, white inherently denotes death and mourning too in the Japanese culture, as well as black. Here, we are mourning the old Shigaraki, and the loss of the traits that instead made him a little bit more human, and a little less like God himself.

II.) From Red Eyes to Red Shoes (in association with both Izuku and Katsuki) 

I already talked about the colour red in regard to Izuku here, but if we take the same meaning and apply it to Tomura instead, we get a different picture. It is no mystery how Izuku and Tenko are foils for each other, and that they resemble each other in different ways (starting from them sporting red shoes, to their characters, being ‘accepted’ and trained by a mentor, and so on).

Red is the colour of extremes. It appears clear how Izuku and Tenko represent the opposite extremes: where Izuku is enamoured of heroes and idolised them to an unhealthy point, even though he comes from a background where he has been discriminated by that same society because he was different, Tenko is disillusioned with the society they live in. He wants to destroy to the ground, because he cannot find it in himself to forgive anyone who could and did not extend him a hand when he needed it. At the same time, both Izuku and Tenko believe that to a certain extent what they had done has been ‘deserved’, and are not entirely focused on their own well being. 

Red is also an attention-bringer. As I already noticed for Izuku, it is very curious how both wear red shoes, as a way to try and separate themselves from the rest, trying to escape the opinions of other which have labelled them in a way, and of course at the same time trying to take control and wanting to be the best in their own ways (hero or villain, that is).  

Red is also the colour of blood, of rage, anger as well as desire, leadership and strength. I want to make a point which I do not know whether is important or not, however, a fact that struck me hard is how Shigaraki’s irises are very very small, and it somehow seems that he tries to compensate the little quantity of red of Shigaraki with wearing red shoes. This might be an indicator how Shigaraki strives to achieve these qualities, but at the same time he needs to put a lot of effort in it, and furthermore it somehow feels different from when we compare it to Izuku: even if both are charismatic leaders, Shigaraki is very dispassionate about it, while Izuku frequently denies how his influence might be fundamental when it comes to other people (Katsuki, All Might, 1A). However, Shigaraki does reflect in his personality, the venous desire to be angry, aggressive and destructive as it what his power entails, and after all what has been taught to him. I noticed as well a post (which unfortunately I cannot find) where it says that Shigaraki has a very high tolerance pain (again, the parallels with Izuku are insane), which also reconnects somehow to the colour red as we saw how Shigaraki himself even if tired (LoV vs Machia/LF) or absolutely bloody and at the brink of death is instead held up by his will to destroy (Shigaraki vs Heroes).

It relates to danger, power, determination and action. Well, Shigaraki and danger go to hand in hand as well as determination and action. After all, Shigaraki’s Modus Operandi is Trial and Error, which means he is not afraid to be wrong and to try things out, even if he is stubborn and ways things to go his way, every time (when that rarely happens in general). 

Red is indeed determined, powerful, impulsive and aggressive. It is also tied to self-preservation. Although true for the most part, the self-preservation is still a massive blank point. 

He is bloody, and even AfO is telling him to rest and preserve his energies (even if here, my counter argument would be that it would be easier for him to overtake Shigaraki’s body if he is weaker, so I do not know how reliable this is).

The color red in Japanese culture denotes strength, passion, self sacrifice and blood. It Also stands for good luck and happiness. Which is still very amusing to me, as Shigaraki feels like the farthest character away from achieving happiness, and his passions and strives are all useless unless he gets rid of his master puppeteer. However, Shigaraki embodies the self-sacrificing spirit. Even if it might sound strange, and he is not very willing to be himself in the front lines (at least not always), he does approach ReDestro himself and takes him on, while leaving the League to deal with the rest.

III.) Yellow

Surprise, surprise! Yellow, in the Japanese culture stands for Courage, while usually the Western culture associates it with Cowardice. It is a funny thing that it also stands for betrayal, sickness, egoism and madness on the negative side, however it is rather a holy colour, usually associated with deities on the other side.

Since I am not going to include yellow in the association paragraph, it is not a case that black reacts badly to yellow, and forms a very unpleasant colour, which means that the circumstances which follow either do not mix well together. However, it is also true how the most resonant contrast between yellow and another colour is given by black. 

Plus yellow is the colour of the Solar Plexus Chakra and it is the symbol of vitality and will. All these elements, however present in a very limited amount in regard to Tenko, are telling of the aspect of authority (reconfirmed and amplified by black) and somehow, the lack of bright colours of Tenko makes the little yellow details resonating of a sad picture, as it embodies more the negative sides (egoism, sickness - and in part sickness). 

Colours in Association.

Black used in contrast–particularly with white or yellow–does create energy (especially the contrast on shapes and just power that the image of waken up Shigaraki creates in the last arc is enough to send this message). It is as well true that black when used in opposition with white, symbolises the eternal struggle between day and night, good and evil, and right and wrong - a thing that for Shigaraki is somehow a metaphor and a literal representation of himself as a character. A perfect example would be the struggle he has with AfO for his body, where he struggles between his internal feelings and dreams and instead the evil will imposed by him by AfO, as well as in terms of consciousness where him being present and conscious is the day, while being subdued to AfO’s will in the Night.

Black usually represent the end, but the end always implies a new beginning. So when the light appears, and black transcends to white, it instead the colour of new beginnings. I already talked about how rebirth theme and the new beginning on new ideals and dreams is represented for Tenko by the colour white, however it is interesting also to note how his change in personality brings him from his childhood dream to being thankful to AfO who raised to him, but wanting to be even greater than AfO himself,- metaphor for Tomura’s life as being free from shackles of reality.

Bluish-Grey is also defined as ‘livid’, an adjective used to describe anger or decoloration of the skin (caused by bruising). This colour gives a sense of detachment - which also goes to review the colour grey and blue, in them being interpreted together as an entity, and how Tomura feels a detachment from his own memories, and past life, as well as his future (When Did We Ever Need A Future?) and instead seek meaning in everything that surrounds him. 

Red and white are prominent traditional colours in Japan. Both colours are used in decorations at events which represent happiness and joy.

On a non serious note, Shigaraki’s date of birth is 4th of April, and casually the colours associated with April are Burgundy (deep red) and White (according to the Japanese etiquette). 

And finally last remark for this post: it is very funny how Shigaraki’s palette is somehow almost the same as Bakugou’s (with the exception of green - which I would like to interpret as if Bakugou did not have Midoriya as his side, he could have ended in a far worse position, with no hope and no one to compare to).

Thank you for reading.

#mha #bnha #bnha meta #mha meta #mha analysis #bnha analysis #bnha color analysis #bnha theory #mha theory #mha color analysis #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #my hero academy #shigaraki tomura #shimura tenko #lov #league of villains #bnha spoilers #bnha manga #bnha manga spoilers #mha spoilers #mha manga #mha manga spoilers #dabi #Dabi is touya #todoroki touya #izuku midoriya #deku #bakugou katsuki #kacchan

[waywardfangirl]

For the fantastic @fight-surrender: You are a wonderful person with a brilliant mind and a kind heart, and I am so happy to know you! I really enjoyed the prompts you suggested for the Secret Snowflake exchange this year, so to give you something fluffy and happy for your birthday I combined a few of them into one sweet and silly fic - I hope that you like it! 🖤

A big thank you goes out to @carryonvisinata for her wonderful beta work and for making this fic even better for such an incredible friend 🖤 Purr-fect Strangers

Rated: General Audiences Word Count: 3208 Chapters: 1/1 Simon

"Die Hard? Really?"

I'm struggling to make the Redbox give me my DVD. Video vending machines sounded like a good idea when I couldn't find anywhere to stream my favorite movie, but the obstinate thing in front of me and the condescending voice behind me are now making me reconsider my choices.

"What's wrong with Die Hard?" I demand, momentarily giving up on retrieving my video to take some of my frustration out on the prick watching me.

Unfortunately, when I turn around to scowl at him, I make eye contact with one of the most attractive people I've ever seen. He's tall, with dark hair escaping the bun on top of his head and falling around his face, and a perfectly tailored suit hugging every inch of his body right on down to his shiny Chelsea boots. My brain shorts out, and he sneers at me.

"There’s nothing wrong with it, per se. But you have a near unlimited assortment of cinema to choose from, and you've selected Die Hard?"

(Read the rest on ao3, or keep reading here)

I scoff.

"Look, mate, some of us don't feel the need to watch pretentious films just to feel better than other people. I like Die Hard. I'm going to watch it while eating pizza and relaxing in joggers, and I refuse to feel bad about enjoying that."

He looks a bit startled, and his cheeks take on a slightly pink tinge, but he just arches an eyebrow at me. (And manages to make that look unfairly hot too, the prat.)

"What movie are you renting?" I say it like a challenge, and he pushes past me.

He deftly removes my DVD from the stubborn machine and thrusts it at me, before turning back around to get his own. I loiter behind him, just like he did to me, ready to see what movie he thinks is better than Die Hard.

"Two Weeks Notice?" I exclaim, when I see the poster pop up on the screen. "You're ridiculing Die Hard, but getting a rom-com for yourself? Unbelievable."

He pushes past me and turns up his nose. My blood boils for so many different reasons, and it's work to hold myself still.

"This has Hugh Grant in it. My tastes are superior."

Then he swans off, and I'm left standing on the kerb.

Baz

A year into my time at university, I started treating myself to a monthly visit to Sephora. It was easily excusable then, with parties every weekend to justify each new purchase, but I've kept up the tradition since graduating. (Retail therapy and good skin care never hurt anyone. And a little eyeliner does wonders for one's self esteem.)

This month, I'm browsing for something sparkly. My eyes are grey, but with a dark, glittery liner I think they might stand out a little more. I'm just testing one of the pencils on the back of my hand when I see him.

Blond hair, plain blue eyes, and a constellation of freckles and moles across his skin. The most lovely man I have ever seen, with the worst taste in movies, and (I'm sure) a well-deserved hatred for me.

For all that I try to appear cool and confident, my facade sometimes fails me. When I get flustered, I become cruel. The man renting Die Hard was so pretty that all I could do was insult him and then curse myself for it the entire way home. I couldn't even properly enjoy Hugh Grant, as mired as I was in self-loathing. And now, whatever second chance to impress him I've been granted with has surely been ruined by my actions last time.

I keep my head down and steal glances at him through my eyelashes.

He is entirely out of his element, that much is obvious right away. I watch him ask one of the shop assistants for help, and she points him in the direction of a display. His brow furrows as he picks up different containers, and he’s ridiculously precious and hopeless as he holds a lipstick tube next to a garish eyeshadow palette and closes one eye to look at them. (What is he even doing?)

Finally, his confusion seems to win out, and he turns to look around for help, when he suddenly spots me. I've been caught out; I can't pretend now like I haven't been staring, and he scowls a little as we make eye contact. I arch an eyebrow, watch as his face grows pink in anger, and decide I hate myself enough to try talking to him again.

"That's really not your shade."

"What?" It's a simple word, horribly enunciated, and does nothing to quell the wrinkle between his eyes.

"The purple. I don't think it would flatter you. Furthermore, that lipstick clashes horribly with every color in that palette."

He turns a bright red and starts to splutter. I am hopelessly endeared.

"That's not- I, I don't- it isn't-"

"Oh, calm down, there's nothing wrong with wearing makeup," I say, flashing him the back of my hand with the eyeliner tests on it. "You just need to pick a better shade." I pluck a different palette (for blue eyes) and a lipstick in a true red from the display and hand them over. "Something like this."

He stares at them dumbly for a moment, his mouth hanging open. (Mouth breather.)

"You think I should wear this?"

"I think it would flatter you if you chose to wear makeup. That purple will do you no favors." I sneer at the garish eyeshadow still in his hand.

"It's for my friend!" he finally bursts out.

"Are you mad at her?" It's a reasonable question, that eyeshadow is truly appalling.

"No? It's her birthday next week, and she said that she wanted to have some makeup for date nights and things."

"Are you in love with her?"

"No!" No hesitation at all. "No, no way. Penny is like my sister. She's my best friend. We're not…" he trails off, and I'm strangely reassured. He still probably hates me, but at least there is one woman in the world that he’s not dating, so my odds have improved marginally.

"Don't get your pants in a twist. I just thought you might be, since that eyeshadow would certainly drive away her current boyfriend."

He sticks out his chin and seems to decide something.

"Fine. What should I get for her, then?" The “if you know so much” is left unsaid.

I'm not really an expert, despite my monthly purchases, but I'll take any excuse I can get to linger around this starburst of a boy for a few moments more.

"Does she wear makeup normally?" He shakes his head no. "Then perhaps start with something more subtle for her." I take the offending palette away and hand him a more subdued one, with a faint shimmer. "Do you think this would look nice on her?"

He thinks hard for a moment, then pulls out his phone, swiping at the lock screen and turning it to face me.

"This is her."

His home screen background is a picture of the two of them, cheeks pressed together and grinning like crazy under the summer sun. His curls are being tossed by the wind, and he looks like a bronze Adonis. I think my heart actually skips a beat at the sight.

"That palette will be fine then. This lipstick, too," I add, handing him a plum shade. "Do you need anything else?" I ask, and then cringe when I sound like I'm working instead of flirting.

He shakes his head.

"No, this is brilliant, thanks."

He still looks a bit confused, and he bites his lip as he looks down at the makeup in his hand - the makeup for his friend, and the things I picked out for him.

I don't want to go, but I can't figure out any way to prolong our conversation.

"You should get that one," he says, pointing to one of the lines on my hand. I raise an eyebrow in question. He's right, but what does this mean? Is he flirting? Does he want me to wear eyeliner? Is he just trying to repay me for helping him? "Yeah. Definitely that one."

He raps his knuckles on the counter beside us twice, and then wanders towards the check out.

It's not until I'm trying to fall asleep that I realize - he bought the makeup for himself too.

Simon

One of my foster fathers had a workshop, and I spent a happy summer watching him build a table and matching chairs for the dining room. I didn't get to stay to see it completed, because one of his biological children kept stealing money out of his mom's purse and blaming me, but I still enjoyed the time I had spent watching woodworking. I liked it so much that when Penny and I graduated and got a flat together, I saved up to buy a few tools. I don't make anything major, but I've built small shelves and a side table and a pan organizer for the flat, and I really like it.

Recently, Penny has been complaining about not being able to reach everything in the kitchen, so while she's still at work I stop by the B&Q to pick up some wood for a step stool. I'm heading to the check out when I see him - the mean makeup guy. (Although he was actually quite nice when we were talking about makeup. He was just rude when we were getting our movies.)

He's dressed casually today, in tight dark jeans and a warm grey sweater, with his hair falling in loose waves around his face. He's glaring down at two wrenches, and I hate that he still looks so good when he's glowering.

Before I even register what's happening, my feet have carried me over to him.

"D'ya need help?"

He startles, and turns lovely grey eyes up to look at me. It's work not to gasp. He’s wearing eyeliner. I'm not entirely sure, but I think it may even be the eyeliner I told him to buy.

"The sink in my kitchen is leaking. I watched a tutorial on YouTube, and it should be easy enough to fix, but I don't have the proper tools."

He goes back to glaring at the wrenches, and I lean over to take a look.

“You want that one.”

“Why? How do you know?”

“Well, it’s adjustable. You can change it within reason, so as long as your plumbing isn’t something incredibly out of the ordinary it should fit just fine.”

He looks surprised (and maybe a bit like he wants to attack me, although I try to ignore that).

“How do you know that?”

I laugh.

“Basic home maintenance, mate, I’ve had to fix a leaky sink before too, believe it or not.”

I grin at him until one corner of his mouth tips upward in response.

“Thanks,” he says, his cheeks flushing a little. “I’ll get this one then. Yes. Thank you. Have a nice evening.”

He strides off, once again leaving me feeling a bit dazed.

He looks really good in eyeliner.

Baz

When Fiona discovered I hadn’t left the apartment in a week, she called in the cavalry. Daphne showed up at my door with a casserole and some flowers, and within minutes she had the kitchen feeling like a place that was less utility space and more home.

“Basil, Fiona is worried about you.” I rolled my eyes, despite knowing it wouldn’t get me anywhere. “I’m worried about you, too. You spend so much time by yourself, and you hardly ever go out to see your friends or enjoy the city.”

“I’m fine. Thank you for your concern.”

“Basil,” she had said, and that time it was a warning. “It’s not healthy for anyone to spend this much time alone.”

“What, do you expect me to get a cat?”

Daphne smiled, and I knew that I had said the wrong thing.

“Yes, actually. And,” she said, before I could object, “Fiona thought you should too. In fact, she made it a condition of your continued occupancy of this flat. We both think it might be nice for you to have someone else around to talk to.”

I arched an eyebrow.

“And you want me to talk to a cat?”

Daphne just gave me a Mona Lisa smile, handed me a plate filled with food, and told me when she left later that evening that I had forty-eight hours to send her a picture of a cat. (I asked what I should do if I didn’t like any of the cats I saw. Or if they didn’t like me. She said I had to at least prove that I tried.)

So, this morning, I made my way to the nearest RSPCA and talked to strangers for the first time in over a week. I told them that I was looking to adopt a cat, and they immediately led me to a room filled with individual cages and an assortment of felines. They said I could play with any of the cats that I wanted, and now I’m staring into the eyes of a fluffy orange tabby.

The tabby meows at me, and I swear that she’s telling me to get lost. I guess cats can tell when you’re out of your depth.

I stroll down the aisle and read the names given to each cat. It’s been years since I last had a pet and even then, the husky my family had wasn’t my sole responsibility. I was in charge of feeding him, but there was always someone else making sure that I did. And really, we only adopted him when my pediatrician suggested that an animal might help me after my mother died. Daphne is probably trying to do the same thing again now. (Is this how one becomes a crazy cat lady? Depression, anxiety, OCD, and an unwillingness to tolerate therapy?)

I keep walking slowly until I feel a tug on my sleeve. I look down, and a little orange paw ending in one very sharp claw has latched on to me. I unhook it before my sweater can snag, and then look into the kennel. There are two kittens, each only about ten weeks old according to their cards, and the orange one is peering up at me with big blue eyes. Its littermate is asleep in the corner, curled into a fluffy black puffball, but the tabby is ready to play. His tail twitches, and he pounces immediately when I wiggle a finger between the bars. He catches my fingertip in a far more gentle grasp than I would have imagined, then looks at me with what can only be described as pure adoration.

“Excuse me,” I say, moving my finger some more and feeling small claws dig in. Then again, louder, to get the attention of the woman, “Excuse me. Can I see this one?”

The woman comes over and flips the latch, then reaches in and comes out with a handful of fur and knives. The kitten opens its mouth in a fierce imitation of a vampire, then stretches it further as it lapses into a yawn. We spend the better part of an hour in a bright, cheerful room, just the kitten and I. At first it chases a string that I drag along the ground and runs after balls with bells in them, but then it calms down and curls up in my lap to sleep.

I’m petting it and cooing softly to it, trying to ignore the fact that Daphne and Fiona were both right about this whole thing, when the door to the room opens again.

“Oh. It’s you,” says the most beautiful man I have ever seen. My face flushes when I remember our last encounter and I pray he doesn’t remember my ignorance. (Of course he does. I didn’t know how to select a wrench. I am incapable of basic home repair and he knows it.)

“Do you two know each other?” The woman from before is back, this time holding the other kitten from the same cage, and looking between the two of us. “These kittens aren’t technically a bonded pair, but they are siblings, the only two remaining from their litter, and it would be lovely if they could still see each other.”

“Err…” the man says, shifting his weight.

“We’ve met in passing a few times now,” I say, trying to avoid encouraging this line of questioning.

“Great!” she says, clapping her hands brightly after handing the kitten off. “I’ll leave all of you to get better acquainted then!”

For a moment, there’s just awkward silence. Neither of us are looking at each other, both focusing on our respective kittens. Then, his kitten turns into the feline equivalent of a slinky, oozes out of his grasp, and runs over to tap my leg once before running away again. It hides behind his legs, and all I can see is a black tail winding around his ankles.

We both laugh, and the ice is broken.

“I’m Simon,” he says, and smiles at me. It’s the same radiant smile I remember from his lockscreen. It feels like looking into the sun, and I bask in it.

“Basil. Although my friends call me Baz.”

“Are you going to…” he trails off, but gestures to my cat.

“Yes,” I look down and give it a scratch under the chin. “I’m going to adopt it.”

“Same here,” Simon says, and then he blushes. “I mean, unless it rips my face off in the next few minutes, but I think this is the one.”

“Do you know which one you have?” Their names and genders were on the cage, but it didn’t specify who was who.

“No idea. I’m going to rename mine anyway though, I didn’t like either of those names.”

“I was planning on doing the same thing. If I’m going to have a pet, it needs to have a proper name befitting its personality. Not something mundane like Fluffy.” I scowl, and he laughs.

As his kitten comes over to touch its nose to my kitten, Simon clears his throat.

“So, um, like she said, they’d probably be happy to have playdates or whatever. I mean, since we’re getting them. And since we keep running into each other. It might make sense to, you know, exchange numbers?”

“Yes!” I say, far too eagerly. “I mean, that seems reasonable. It would be more convenient than waiting to happen upon you in the Waitrose choosing inferior crisps to set up a future meeting.”

He smiles. “Well, yeah, there’s that. And this way, it’ll be easier for me to ask you out, ”

Then the absolute nightmare sits down beside me and hands me his phone. He texts me immediately once I enter my contact info.

Unknown Number (11:27 AM) This is Simon Snow

Unknown Number (11:27 AM) Your cat is cute.

Unknown Number (11:27 AM) So are you

Unknown Number (11:28 AM) Wanna get dinner sometime? ;)

I blush, and send him a reply.

Baz (11:29 AM) I thought you’d never ask.

#snowbaz fic #Purr-fect Strangers #a gift for a friend! #fuff #my fic

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

asked a million times, will ask another million again: shigadabi for the ship meme!

LET'S GO SHIGADABI NATION. THIS IS A QUESTION I'LL NEVER STOP ANSWERING. SO SEND IT AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT.

You guys know why I love this ship? This is god material, ladies and gentlemen and my fellow nb friends. This is "against the odds, even after all the suffering and the trauma we've been through, here we are. Two lost boys in the hands of fortune and fate".

This is the ship that keeps happening in every alternative universe. Somehow, they find they're way to each other time and time again. Their real identities and their current identities are intertwined, so there's no scape. The more they try to get away, the more they fall into the other.

And I'm gonna put the cut in here because this is going to be a long one with spoilers from the manga, so let's enjoy the ride.

Tenko had black hair, red eyes. Touya had red hair (it became white later) with blue eyes. After going through their respective traumas, they changed. Shimura Tenko, now Shigaraki Tomura, got his hair blue and later white. Todoroki Touya, now Dabi, dyed his hair black.

Let's start with Shimura Tenko and Todoroki Touya, shall we?

Do you see where I want to go? They share the color palette. No? Still aren't you convinced? Well, mix white and black, mix red and blue, and you're going to obtain gray and purple, the other two colors that Shigaraki and Dabi share.

They both come from notorious hero families with money. They both had siblings, siblings that didn't protect them because it was not their jobs to do so. Siblings that would do anything to mend it. Mothers that failed them by not being able to get them out of their abusive houses, fathers that broken them so much, they still have flashbacks.

They even wear a sort of parody of their families hero costumes. Dabi's sacrs are a parallel of Endeavor's suit and Shigaraki's outfit when he got All For One was a parallel to Nana Shimura's suit too.

They both have their own arcs, being two of the most important arcs in the manga when it comes to the falling of Hero Society. They're respectively calling out the two best heroes on Japan, pointing out how fake they are. Yes, you can look for it in the manga, there's a parallel between Endeavor and All Might, because they've failed Touya and Tenko and they almost broke Izuku and Shoto.

If you ship TodoDeku, let me tell you some news: Dabi and Shigaraki are their parallels. They share the same story, but the difference is that Shoto and Izuku found someone to rescue them and had friends. Tenko and Dabi were abandoned and isolated from society.

And yes, in the manga, it is clear that Izuku wants to save Shigaraki as much as Shoto wants to save Dabi. Because they understand.

Shigaraki and Dabi are not in a mental state to ask for help and they won't. Who are they going to ask for help anyway? The same society that failed them and turned them into villians and tried to killed them every time? Denying their voices and arguments and identities?

So yes, their speech is pretty similar.

Shigaraki says "this society is corrupted and doesn't work so we need to take it down in order to rebuild it from zero". He doesn't want to be the supreme leader, like AFO. Anyone can do as they please in the new world. He just doesn't want no more corruptelas people in positions of power claiming they're heroes or saints.

Dabi instead, explains that there are no real heroes. Not even one. Shigaraki just wants to live, he's tired and he wants to live. Dabi doesn't. He's suicidal, he wants to make his father pay and then he can die in peace. He wants to show them all that he once believe in heroes and in his father above them all, but they failed him. They're incapable of doing what they say their gonna do. They can't protect them.

Shigaraki and Dabi both feel helpless. They are desperate for some control, just like every victim of abuse is. They want people to acknowledge the things the hero society did to them, to say that their hurt is valid.

And that's exactly why this ship is for me one of the best ships in the whole bnha / mha world.

The things they've gone through are things that cannot be explained. Not even Hawks can understand completely the type of hurt Shigaraki and Dabi has gone through. A cut só deep they can't forget or forgive. They have said it. They can't forget. They can't forgive. Not matter what people tells them, they're trapped in their memories, in the loop of the feelings of the moment when it all fell apart.

But they don't have to explain themselves when they're together. Dabi can say "none of the recruits were worth it" and Shigaraki doesn't ask. Shigaraki can tell part of his story and Dabi won't even blink. They have this agreement: we say what we want to say, we do what we want to do, we use each other to reach our goals, but we don't ask, we don't ask for something we're not ready to give.

When you've been through a lot, sometimes you find comfort in being with someone that doesn't demand you stuff. You can let your guard down because you don't have to take care of them. If you hurt them, well, they knew you were dangerous, right? And they don't interact with you with pity or sorrow or like if you were made of glass. You're equals. You don't need any of that bullshit.

In the meantime, you start feeling comfortable. No restrictions, no rules, no expectations. So you are just... Yourself. And you don't feel the need to destroy as much as before because there's no one making you angry. There's no one making you sad. You can go and argue with him for a little but... It's pointless. You're comfortable around him. He makes you feel... Safe, maybe?

And then shit's go down. Because you start to laugh when you want to laugh and you start to relax and be more friendly. And he does the same, because you two are not trying to impress anybody. You don't care if you're gross, he doesn't care if he's mean. You two know the worst the other can do, so it's not like someone can point the worst in them to make you change your mind. You've already know it.

The surprise comes when he starts showing his best side and you do the same. Oh boy, oh boy, that's dangerous. Even more dangerous than his hands when they're ready to kill, are his eyes when his looking at you across the room and they're glowing. Why are they glowing. Way are they looking at you like that. Why he is suddenly calling your name and you are feeling weird. It's not annoyance. It's... It's something else.

And if they ever tell each other the full truth about their pasts, well, the bond will only get deeper.

That's the funny part. I see Shigaraki as a demisexual and Dabi as a demiromantic. That means, Shigaraki doesn't feel sexual attraction unless he has a deep bond with someone and Dabi doesn't feel romantic attraction until he is close to someone in a feeling-mind type of way.

That means that Dabi is making Shigaraki explore his sexuality and Dabi is falling in love with Shigaraki AND THEY HATE IT. NO. They hate the idea of being vulnerable around the other but it makes sense. They hate that fact even more. They hate that it's only getting better and they're only getting closer. They hate the fact that they can read each other minds so easily or understand the other with few words between them. They are becoming predictable. They're getting frustrated.

And with frustration comes the sexual tension. Oops. And with the sexual activities, comes the vulnerable moments and the confessions. They're getting intimate. And it's too late to pretend that it's not happening.

Now I need to apologize for ranting for so long about them. But I told you all. I told you guys. This is my otp. I have Shigadabi brainrot. It's terminal.

What's the point of saying they are my 10/10, fav ship in the fandom, if I already wrote this much. Dear @viruscide, look what you've done. I hope you're proud and I hope you enjoy my spiral into insanity.

#bnha #mha #Shigadabi #Shan's rants about bnha ships #Shan's asks #My hero academia #Boku No Hero Academia #Shigaraki #Tomura #Shigaraki Tomura #Tomura Shigaraki #Dabi #Touya Todoroki #Todoroki Touya #Touya #Todoroki #tenko shimura #shimura tenko #Tenko #Shimura #Bnha spoilers #Mha spoilers #Bnha ship #Mha ship #League of villains #LoV #LoV mha #LoV bnha

[sage-nebula]

Game Review — Blue Fire

One of my all-time favorite game series is The Legend of Zelda. My favorite game of all time is The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. And my second favorite game of all time is Hollow Knight. So it would make sense, then, to think that a combination of the two would be the most amazing thing the world had to offer me.

Overall Score: 7/10

Well . . . it could have been better. It also could have been worse, absolutely, but it also could have been better. For more detailed thoughts, jump below the cut (and view on blog due to formatting).

The Pros:

The graphics and animation are beautiful. The specific Zelda game the graphics brought to mine (despite the color palette, which was clearly more Hollow Knight inspired) was The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. Whatever reason the developers had for going the cel shaded route (maybe they had an artistic vision in mind, or maybe it was easier somehow) it was a good one to make. In particular, all of the glowing and flame effects were lovely, the shadows all fell in the right places, the characters were charming to look at, et cetera. Everything worked well with the acrobatics as well. Visually, the game is beautiful.

For the most part, the platforming is fair and even platforming challenges are doable with enough practice. This is particularly true for the overworld / main dungeons, rather than the Voids, which are more extra dungeons that you don’t have to complete to beat the game (although doing so certainly makes the game easier given that each completed Void gives you another life heart). While there were some areas where the game lagged for whatever reason and threw off crucial timing, as well as some Voids that were definitely more Platform Hell than simply platforming, the platforming puzzles were very well put together for the most part and were enjoyable to play.

The fast travel system, when unlocked, is incredibly convenient and takes a lot of the headache out of traveling around the world, particularly given that you use the shrines for a number of things (fast travel, saving, char—spirit equips) and there aren’t any maps present in this game whatsoever. It does take some time to unlock fast travel and you’re not exactly pointed in the direction to get it (in fact I had to look up to figure out where I was supposed to go to get it), but once you have it it’s a well-developed system that took a lot of pain out of playing that would have otherwise been there.

A minor thing that I liked, but (just like in Hollow Knight) when you die, your spirit or soul is left behind. Also like in Hollow Knight, it keeps all of the money you had on you when you died. Essentially, it is the exact same thing as the Shade from Hollow Knight, but white instead of black. Anyway, the minor thing I liked about this is that if you die in a boss fight, your spirit waits for you directly outside the boss arena, meaning that you don’t have to try to reclaim it while the boss is trying to kill you. It was a nice bone the developers threw the player.

While no tracks in particular standout, and while the OST doesn’t live up to the OSTs of the inspirations behind this game, there were times when the music was very nice, which is always a plus.

While the main quest is very short, there are numerous sidequests you can do even apart from the Voids that give you things to do in each area, making them feel a little less small and giving you a bit more time with the game, as well as unlockables as rewards (mainly in the form of new costumes, but still). There are lots of little secrets hidden around in each area too, which is nice to discover if you’re someone like me who loves exploring in games. 

The Neutrals:

The story. The story is . . . how do I put this . . . okay. So, it’s clear the developers wanted to write a story with the aesthetic of Hollow Knight (ruined kingdom, lots of shadow / light dichotomy, fallen kingdom, et cetera), but with an overt storytelling style like The Legend of Zelda. So you get a lot of exposition about what happened in the past, and what you as the main character are supposed to do now . . . but the thing about the exposition is that not only is the same thing repeated about fifteen different times (such as the constant harping on about how the main character contains both light and shadow within them), but also there are huge chunks of seemingly important detail that are just left unexplained. Like for instance: we know that the Fire Guardians from the Fire Keep were one of the last strongholds against the Shadow (who was also the sixth god and has also corrupted the queen yadda yadda). And we can extrapolate that the Fire Guardians were specifically trying to create a warrior that was both light and shadow based on the fact that the game starts with the main character breaking out of a test tube with a bunch of corpses that look just like the player scattered around, seeming to be failed experiments (i.e. just like how the Pale King created the Hollow Knight in Hollow Knight). But the only Fire Guard that we see around is Von. I think he mentions briefly once that the Fire Guards were trying to make the warrior, or had made the warrior, or something like that, but we’re never told why, exactly. We don’t know what processes led to that. We don’t know who was in charge. We don’t know why this specific type of warrior was needed except “since you have both you may be the answer.” And the fact that there were apparently a bunch of failed experiments is never really touched upon either. Furthermore, we’re told that the five gods had lifted Penumbra (the world) into the sky to protect it from the Shadow (a la Hylia raising Skyloft to protect the people from Demise), but that it didn’t work and the Shadow ultimately got to them anyway. So allegedly this is a post-apocalyptic land. But the only thing to really be ravaged is the Temple of Gods, where apparently the corrupted queen sleeps. Everyone else seems mostly fine as long as they avoid the monsters? It’s like they were going for what Hollow Knight did, but didn’t quite want to go the full route of having corpses literally everywhere on-screen at all times. Although weirdly enough, there is also a distinct lack of NPCs which makes the world feel more empty than Hallownest despite the circumstances . . . What I’m getting at here is that there definitely is a story, but it was told in a way that was pretty sloppy. It’s not so sloppy that it detracts from the overall experience, but it’s like too much was piled on in some areas and not enough was explained in other areas. Or like they took some things they liked from other games (e.g. making the creation of the “warrior of light and shadow” reminiscent of the creation of the Hollow Knight) without following through on what made those things work. Like it wasn’t just that there were a lot of failed Knights and that their corpses were tossed into the abyss and that The Knight had to try to claw his way out (as did Broken Vessel and others) while the “successful” Hollow Knight was raised by the Pale King. It was also that we know that the entire reason why the Hollow Knight was created in the first place was to contain the Radiance / the Plague. It was also that these hundreds or thousands of corpses were the Pale King’s children. It was also that the Pale King has a monologue over that segment saying, “no mind to think, no will to break, no voice to cry suffering” as requirements for the Hollow Knight to be considered successful. The horror didn’t come just from the corpses being tossed down the pit around you as you had to climb up in an attempt to get out, but also at all of the surrounding context, which was left entirely out of Blue Fire’s version with the warrior of light and shadow. Not that they should have copied it (although if they had it really wouldn’t have been surprising), but it’s clear what they were trying to do and where they failed because they didn’t have the follow through to go with it. I feel like the above paragraph is so critical I should move it to The Cons, but I do want to say that I don’t think the story itself was terrible. It borrows so much from both Zelda and Hollow Knight that it really isn’t original and it doesn’t follow through on things that made those stories work, but overall it doesn’t ruin the experience, even if all of the repetition gets old pretty quickly. Although as a final note, I’ll also add another thing that bugged me, which is that we never learn what the people of Penumbra are. Like we know the Shadow is bad, but they all look like Shadow people. We know there are creatures called “onops” but we don’t know what they are, or if everyone is an onop. Whereas in Hollow Knight we know that all the characters are bugs. It’s just another little thing that wasn’t explained but probably should have been.

On a less long note, the combat is also pretty mediocre. Again, it’s not bad. There is a parry system that, if you learn to time it right to actually pull off the parry, is pretty cool. But although you are given magic, which is useful for killing long-distance enemies, the magic can’t do a single thing for you in boss battles no matter how many times you upgrade your mana. Additionally, it is very much a “mash Y to win” type of game, where Y is the button you use to attack and you just mash that while jumping around. There’s no complexity to the combat at all or any strategy that is really required. It’s not bad, per se, but it’s nothing to write home about either.

The charms in this game are called spirits, and while you can buy a majority of them from shopkeepers, you can also “capture” your own by coming across the spirit of a dead person and trapping it to use its power for yourself. This is made apparent when you go back to a young child who is dead the second time you go to see them, and capture their spirit for use. Also when you literally murder an NPC for a sidequest and then later capture their spirit to use for your own use. And aside from the sidequest giver being horrified you killed the NPC and telling you to keep it hush-hush (without even knowing that you can and will capture the spirit of that murder victim for your own use) this . . . is never really remarked upon. Ever. And the thing is, it creates a sort of dissonance, because your character is treated as a hero in this game. No one seems horrified by you, there’s never any question of whether your existence is moral or not, nor any reason to think that your character would be amoral. In Hollow Knight, the Knights were created to be soulless husks who were there to be vessels for the Radiance / infection. Hornet in particular calls out your cursed existence and how she does not like you because of it. But although you can learn “emotes” from statues (which is teaching your character either actions or emotions, it’s unclear), no such deal is made here. So this aspect of the game is strange, even if I can at least appreciate that they tried to make their spirits a tiny bit different from Hollow Knight’s charms. Though with that said . . .

The Cons:

It’s one thing to be inspired by other games, but the sheer amount that this game cops from The Legend of Zelda and Hollow Knight is, at least to me, incredibly distracting. Just a handful of examples off the top of my head: — In Hollow Knight, you have a Shade that lingers where you last died and keeps all of your money from when you died. In Blue Fire, you have a spirit / soul (again, it’s unnamed) that lingers where you died and keeps all of your money from when you died. You have to retrieve them before you die again to get your money back. — In Hollow Knight, you have different circular charms that each have a different design, name, and grant you different abilities. You can only have a certain amount equipped at a time (though you can increase how many you can equip at once) and you can only equip them at save points. In Blue Fire you have different spirits that are contained in circles that each have a different design, name, and grant you different abilities. You can only have a certain amount equipped at a time (though you can increase how many you can equip at once) and you can only equip them at save points. — Everything I explained above about how the main character breaking out of a test tube at the beginning, surrounded by corpses just like them, felt like an echo of the Knight’s creation in Hollow Knight (but again, not as effective for reasons outlined above).  — The default tunic has a hat that is exactly like Link’s from The Legend of Zelda. This is made even more obvious with the dyed green tunics. — The story segment detailing how the five gods created Penumbra was copped from how the golden goddesses created Hyrule from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. To compare the dialogue: Ocarina of Time: “Din. With her flaming arms, cultivated the land and created the red earth.” Blue Fire: “Dina, God of Land. With her mighty body of stone, Dina carved mountains, deserts, and landforms in the earth.” It’s in the exact same cadence, to the point where I half expected the artifact they created at the end of the story to be the Triforce (instead it was called the Oath of Sarana).  — In Hollow Knight, the titular Hollow Knight is housed inside the Temple of the Black Egg, and is in fact locked inside that Black Egg to seal the Radiance / infection. There are three locks on the egg, and each one will only be broken when one of the three Dreamers dies. You have to break all three locks to face him, a corrupted “final” boss. In Blue Fire, the corrupted queen is housed inside the Temple of the Gods. There are three locks on her door, and each one will only be broken when one of the three Shadow Lords dies. You have to break all three locks to face her, the corrupted final boss. — It’s implied that, especially in places like the Temple Gardens, that the humanoid enemies that attack you are not monsters, but are people who were once completely normal and even forces of good who were corrupted by the Shadow. This is exactly like how all of the enemies you face in Hollow Knight (with the exception of, say, Hornet) were also once normal bugs before they were turned into zombies by the infection. I could go on. The point is, it’s perfectly fine to be inspired by something. Hell, it would be hard to find an action/adventure game that wasn’t inspired by The Legend of Zelda at this point. But it’s one thing to be inspired by something, and another thing to completely rip-off your inspiration to the point where the similarities are distracting to your audience. And it’s not just me; when I was looking up the exact dialogue for the story of the gods from Blue Fire, I found others who were pointing out just how similar everything was to Hollow Knight in particular, including someone who, like me, realized that the Temple of the Gods was essentially the Temple of the Black Egg. When things are this blatant, it feels a whole lot less like inspiration and a whole lot more like plagiarism.

The Voids all have a star rating to indicate how difficult they are. These star ratings are completely meaningless. Granted, partly it’s because everyone is going to have different abilities and so it will be hard to create an overall difficulty scoring that will be accurate for every player, but it’s also telling when a four-star course is miles easier than a two-star course, which I found to be the case on more than one occasion due to level design that was, at times, kind of bullshit. 

Although there are NPCs, there are none who are memorable or standout, despite the fact that most of Penumbra’s populace is (maybe?) still alive. Unlike in Hollow Knight, where there were characters like Elderbug, the Last Stag, Hornet, Quirrel, and so forth that were memorable and lovable, all of the NPCs in Blue Fire feel rather the same and are pretty easily forgettable.

The world itself is incredibly small. While the fact there are no maps makes this kind of a good thing, on the other hand it’s a bit disappointing that there are a total of two towns and then a few small connecting areas. It doesn’t really make it feel like the kingdom that it’s supposed to be. 

On that note, why aren’t there maps? The fact that there is fast travel is really more of a necessity than mere convenience because there are no maps to help lead you around. If you put down the game for a while and then go back to it, you might not remember how to get to different areas in the game, and if you haven’t unlocked fast travel yet (since it is something you have to unlock) you’re going to be pretty much boned due to the lack of a feature that is in basically every other game. 

Overall, while this is not a game I think I would ever go back to, it also isn’t one that I regretted purchasing and playing. It could definitely have been better, but it also could have been worse. My only hope is that the next game this studio makes is more original, rather than copying so much from other, more successful titles. (Or at the very least, that they study why certain things worked in more successful titles, instead of just copying at the surface level and calling it a day.)

#2021 game reviews #blue fire #blue fire game #have had this sitting in drafts forever #tbh probably could have added more but I just don't feel like opening this game again to refresh my memory #which probably says more than this whole review does tbh

[umbry-fic]

A Palette Full of You (4)

Summary: Glimpses into Colette and Lloyd’s lives as they grow up together, learn who they are, and fall in love with each other.

(Written for Colloyd Week 2021)

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters: Colette Brunel, Lloyd Irving Relationships: Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving Rating: G Chapter: 4 of 6 Word Count: 5897 Mirror Link: AO3 Original Post Date: 12/06/2021

Chapter Title: Stardust

Chapter Summary: The astronomy club holds a stargazing event on the school rooftop. As chairperson, there's no chance Lloyd isn't going to invite Colette. But as the night progresses, actually spotting the hard-to-find stars become the least of Colette's concerns.

(Colloyd Week Day 4: Stargazing)

Notes+Warnings: Chapter 4 of my multi chapter Colloyd week fic! Warning for some major internalised acephobia.

Chapter list Full fic Previous chapter Next chapter

~~~

16-years-old

Stepping out of the science lab into the corridor, Colette came to a halt, her schoolbag weighing on her shoulders, soaking in the warm air as other students filed past her. One of the most unfortunate things about attending practical make-up was that she wasn't guaranteed her usual seat by the lab window. Sitting right under the air-con was enough to send her into hibernation, and the test was hard enough as it was. She'd barely managed to finish on time.

Rummaging through the pocket of her navy blue pinafore, her fingers brushed past a packet of tissue and her wallet before successfully pulling her phone out. She needed a reminder of where the stargazing event was taking place, and who better to ask than Lloyd? She hoped he was reading his messages.

"7.23 pm, May 18th" blinked at her from her phone screen.

Wait, 7 missed calls? From Lloyd? What for?

Gah, she’d forgotten to tell him.

She dialled his number, placing the phone against her ear and waiting for his anxious voice to ring out. Which it did, just seconds later as he picked up.

“Colette? Where are you? I tried calling you so many times, and Sheena and Zelos wouldn’t pick up because they’re both at tuition!”

“I forgot to tell you the makeup got pushed by an hour. Sorry for making you worry, Lloyd. But I’m done now. Where’s the event at?”

"We’re on the school rooftop! Where we celebrated Sheena's birthday last month, remember?" Lloyd replied, his voice tinny in quality from the phone call. She could hear, in the background, the overlapping sounds of many voices.

“School rooftop, school rooftop, school rooftop…” she mumbled, beginning to scurry through her secondary school's corridors, head darting every which way to determine where she was and try to find clues as to where she was going. She didn’t often wander into this part of the school campus - block D, the science block - since she only took two sciences. Usually, she’d take the main staircase straight down to the canteen, but it would take forever to get back to the roof from there. She didn’t want to be too late.

“You’re coming from science lab 3, right? If I remember correctly, it’s one right, walk past the storage room to block C, and then take the first left down the bridge to block B. You should see the staircase to the roof. Do you need me to come and get you?”

“No, no, it’s fine! Just stay on the phone?”

“Alri - OI, MATTHEW, STOP MESSING WITH THE TELESCOPE! YOU DO NOT GET SPECIAL TREATMENT JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE MY DESKMATE! GET YOUR HANDS OFF AND LET ELLA HANDLE IT!” The yell was muffled, probably because Lloyd had taken the phone away from his mouth to avoid deafening her, though his raised voice was still enough to make her wince, tearing the phone away from her ear.

“Sorry about that,” Lloyd said, his voice lowered back to normal volume again. “Got to prevent property damage. You know how it is.”

“Right…” She laughed nervously, wondering how many people were up on the rooftop and what exactly they were up to. She was hoping to spend a peaceful evening stargazing with Lloyd and listening to him talk about constellations, the shining passion in his eyes rivalling even the stars above, not… getting distracted by people fooling around.

“How’s it going? Are you getting closer?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m heading in the right direction,” she assured Lloyd, taking the left he’d directed her to and running down the bridge connecting two blocks, her ponytail flaring behind her and her pinafore swirling around her legs. There was almost no one left in the school now. The hallways she’d run through had been abandoned, for the most part, the stragglers she passed by all heading in the direction of the main gate. The sky, visible from the bridge, was in the last throes of twilight, slowly bleeding into night as black seeped across the sky.

Colette skidded to a halt at the end of the bridge, gaze landing on a familiar door. She could recall this stairwell now, having taken it two months ago. She, Zelos and Lloyd had somehow managed to lead a blindfolded Sheena up it, whereafter they had surprised their friend with a birthday cake they had baked together. That birthday cake had been salvaged solely by Zelos, who was a surprisingly good baker. Or maybe they were just average, and weren't knocking over the baking tray every ten minutes like her.

“I’ve found the right staircase!” Colette said, hanging up and stuffing her phone back into her pocket and starting to take the stairs two at a time. She usually never did that (and was often teased by Sheena over it), choosing to climb each step carefully, for the risk of tripping was too high. But she was in a hurry, and so had no other choice. Her shoe-laces were coming undone, and her school bag seemed to be getting heavier with each step.

Everyone else who was attending the event was likely already on the rooftop - Colette could hear voices and the sounds of footsteps against concrete through the open door at the top of the stairwell. Grabbing the cold metal handle, she threw the door open, finally emerging onto the rooftop.

There were about thirty or so people milling around, everyone still dressed in their school uniforms, chatting with friends, holding cups of fruit punch or lounging on the mats that had come from the gymnasium. Not enough people to count as a crowd, but certainly respectable. Just a small event, one where she could relax and enjoy some peace and quiet.

Now she just had to find Lloyd...

"Colette!"

Speak of the devil! Or the angel, perhaps... Colette tracked the source of the voice and spotted Lloyd, making his way over from a group of students who were busy fiddling with a telescope, his hand gripping a red plastic cup. One side of his collar was flipped up, and the small shooting star pin that marked him as the chairperson of the astrology club was pinned to the other. Only one of the sleeves of his white blouse were folded like they were meant to be, the other way too long and leaving barely any skin visible above his elbow. His white long pants had been rolled up as much as possible - which wasn't much, honestly, the most it could reach was mid-thigh. It was one of those stuffy nights with no wind that was stifling and hard to fall asleep in.

"You made it!" Lloyd's grin grew wider as he grabbed her hand, only for him to flinch away instantly, vivid red liquid nearly sloshing over the rim of his cup. “Gah, your hand is really cold.”

"Sorry! You know how cold the lab is. Anyway, I only made it here thanks to your assistance." Colette laughed, feeling her weariness peel off her instantly. Lloyd always had that effect on her - his energy was infectious, like it was being injected straight into her veins whenever she was in close proximity to him. Especially now, with clear excitement alive on his face.

It was strange, though. He was the only one with that effect on her. Meeting her other friends never failed to make her happy, but Lloyd was the only one that could make her feel ten times more alive in an instant the moment she saw his smile. It had only started in the past year, this unknown, electrifying sensation that arose in her heart whenever she was with Lloyd. The desire to see him again after school ended got stronger with each day, but she couldn’t understand any of it…

“You’re staying for the afterparty, right?” Lloyd asked, taking a sip of the fruit punch. He said afterparty, but she knew it wouldn’t be much of a party. Just all the members of the astrology club hanging out in the tiny room the school had assigned to them, playing card games and chatting. Everyone in the club knew her by name, for she was the friend of their chairperson who somehow managed to turn up at every meeting. She was practically an honorary member at this point.

A homey gathering without any alcohol in sight. She much preferred it that way. The last time alcohol had come into play when she was staying overnight at a chalet with the rest of her class, sometime late last year. She'd avoided the cans of beer stacked on the floor, the smell not appealing to her. But alcohol sure made the rest of her classmates go wild. Running away from slightly drunk classmates trying to get her to play truth and dare was not fun. Normal truth and dare was already horrible, with questions like "who are you crushing on" and "who would you like to kiss". She didn't understand why it was a game that people insisted be played at every class gathering or orientation. No one ever believed her when she answered honestly with "no one", and she was fairly used to the reactions by now, the common ones being that she had to be lying, for everyone had someone in mind, or that she should stop acting so high-and-mighty, or just snickers of her being a prude.

Just because she was used to the biting words didn't mean they had stopped hurting, reminder stacked atop reminder of how she was isolated from everyone else around her. And as much as she hated answering "truth" whenever that accursed bottle landed on her, answering "dare" was even worse. There were the innocent ones like doing the chicken dance, and then there was having to kiss someone. She always did her best to leave as soon as the bottle made an appearance, but she could never say "no" when someone asked her directly to join, for she never knew how to turn people down. Neither did she want to give her classmates more reasons to treat her as a laughingstock for being too much of a coward to play. So now, whenever she was forced to play the game, she would give the least offensive answers possible - mostly girls, for she at least found them pretty, though she didn't think that was what attractive meant.

But the drunk version of truth and dare? That was hell on Earth. The questions got even more invasive. She could never understand how someone could ask "who would you sleep with here" with a straight face. And alcohol loosened the lips of her classmates, enough that she had heard snippets of some of the more adventurous ones describing their sexual escapades in sickening detail. She really didn't need the reminder that sexual activities weren't just a thing of fiction, but something that actually happened amongst real people and that people seemed to really want to do. She'd spent half of that chalet stay playing Uno with Zelos in a corner, because Zelos was way better at promptly rejecting offers to play truth and dare.

Only her friends had ever come to her defence, but it was not like they could help that much when they weren't in the same class, apart from Zelos. Still, they afforded much-needed safety, and they never pointed out how she was weird or strange or different, even if they must have noticed by now. But...

She was 16. Wasn't she supposed to get it by now?

“Yep, I'm staying. We can go home together,” Colette suggested, tearing her thoughts back to the present. "Dad already knows I'll be coming home late, and Aunt Anna can just pick us both up."

Colette reached out to fold Lloyd's right sleeve, straightening the wrinkles out, before reaching to flip his collar down. His uniform was always in such a state of disarray, and it was always up to her to get him looking neat before the teachers did their inspections during morning assembly.

"Yep, I'll let Mom know," Lloyd replied, squeezing her hand. "Let's actually get to stargazing, shall we? Come on, I reserved the mat with the best telescope. The..."

Colette let Lloyd ramble on about the specifications of the telescope as he guided her towards their destination. It was always endearing to hear him talk about the topics he loved, whether it be the ocean or the stars. His words would get faster as he went on, until he was barely intelligible as all the syllables clumped together, without him even noticing. She didn’t want to interrupt him, though, much preferring to just watch him as a smile inevitably grew on her face.

"Right! Get comfortable!" Lloyd said, having completed his spiel and coming to an abrupt stop. Colette stumbled a few steps forward, so engrossed in listening to Lloyd that she'd nearly tripped. He gestured towards the deep blue mat stuffed with foam, placing his cup next to it before crouching to adjust the sleek black telescope, nimble fingers flying from knobs to levers. His face was scrunched up in concentration, focussed entirely on his task.

Colette dumped her school bag down and kicked off her school shoes, leaving her feet clad in white socks, and scrambled onto the mat, lying down on it. Lloyd joined her soon after, having finished whatever preparations he was doing, sidling closer on the mat so that his shoulder pressed against hers as they both stared up into the night sky, now completely dark. In the distance, Colette could see the lighted-up M sign on the business complex.

“We can look at the stars first before we use the telescope to find the planets. What do you see, right now?”

"Um, well… I can only see one star in the sky," Colette muttered, pointing out the lone, twinkling presence. It was common knowledge that there was too much light pollution to actually see any of the vast galaxies and planets that were scattered throughout the universe. The most Colette had ever seen at once when looking out at the sky from the balcony of her apartment was three stars, dimly shining and far away from each other. They were hundreds of light-years away, unreachable and yet still shining their light for all to see.

"No, there's more. It's a really clear sky tonight, and we can see so much!" Lloyd replied eagerly. The starry-eyed enthusiasm had returned to his eyes, seeming to burrow straight into her heart. Pointing up into a particular patch of sky, he said, "There! Do you see the top of the Big Dipper?"

"Ah..." She tried to follow the line of his arm but didn't spot any hidden stars, shaking her head. "No...? The Big Dipper is the one that looks like a frying pan, right?" It was one of the many constellations that Lloyd had taught her while on his impassioned rambles about astrology. Ever since he'd picked up that one book on constellations from the library in primary school, he'd been obsessed with stars. She could still fondly remember the first time he had talked about it. She'd plopped down in front of him at the canteen table after school, asking what he was reading. He'd shut the book and told her about white dwarfs, planetary systems and the Milky Way for a full five minutes while she listened in awed silence. She'd rarely seen him this excited over anything. Lloyd had been about to continue before shutting his mouth abruptly, flushing as he realised how long he had gone on for and apologising for running her ear off. She'd told him that she didn't mind listening to him - there was something soothing about it, really, listening to his voice and watching his excited mannerisms.

"You remember?" Lloyd craned his neck so that he was facing her. There was something in the depths of those eyes that stared back at her. Something which, for the past two years, she would spot occasionally. And yet she still couldn’t put a name to it.

Somehow, how truly close they were hadn’t registered in her mind until this very moment. If she inched forward just a little, their noses would bump.

But they’d been this close so many times before. Why was this time so different?

Or, more accurately, what had changed in the past year? Why couldn’t she be this close without something in her clicking, filling her with a warmth that was both familiar but foreign? Why were her palms starting to sweat, her heart starting to race? It felt like she was about to give a presentation to a room full of strangers.

But that wasn't the case. She was just next to Lloyd, her oldest friend and the person she trusted most in the world.

Perhaps recently she had been noticing more tiny things she hadn't before, staring at him for just a little longer than she used to - how his hair fell into his eyes on days where he didn’t bother to comb or style his hair, how there was a dimple only on the right side of his mouth, how his hair could vary in shade under different lighting, from a golden brown to dark chocolate. It even appeared red sometimes.

She felt like she was at the cusp of a discovery.

"Of - of course I remember." Colette stumbled over the words, averting her gaze up towards the night sky. "You've been working on the notes for this club for so long, and I helped you with them! So of course I'd remember."

"That's true. We did spend a lot of late nights on those." Lloyd chuckled. "Remember all the pillow fights?"

"Yeah, I do. You always let me win, you cheater," she grumbled, glad for the light-hearted change in topic to distract from her confusing feelings. "But I'm happy everything worked out and you managed to get the club set up! You've worked really hard on all this. You deserve the success."

"I couldn't have done it without you, really," Lloyd retorted, taking gentle hold of her wrist. "And I know I've thanked you already, but let me just say it again. Thank you. In return, I'll do my best to show you as much as I can!" Lloyd pointed her arm towards a point in the sky. "There. Look closely. Do you see it now?"

She focussed on that spot, squinting in hopes that the secrets of the night sky would be revealed to her. "Oh!" Colette exclaimed. She could see it now, just barely - a faint source of light. There was a lonely little star, shining as brightly as it could, just enough to be noticeable but going unseen by the unobservant eye.

"You got it!" Lloyd cheered, beginning to slowly guide her hand to trace out a shape - that familiar pan shape he’d drawn for her so many times. His fingers, wrapped around her wrist, were so warm... "Now do you see the Big Dipper?"

"You're right," she said in amazement. The pattern had been there all along. How many more were waiting to be found, causing the sky to come to life before her very eyes?

"There are so many beautiful constellations to find in the sky." Lloyd grinned. Dimly lit by the gentle light of the night sky, far from the harsh fluorescent lights of the classroom and the often blinding rays of the sun, his features seemed softer than ever, and she had the urge to just... reach out and touch his face. Splay her fingers on his cheek, rest her forehead against his, let the strands of his hair fall through her fingers…

"Yeah..." She glanced back up at the night sky. She could spot the Little Dipper now, glimmering. Already, she was discovering new things.

When she glanced back, Lloyd was staring at her with a wistful expression, the arm not holding hers held stiffly against his side, like he was aching to reach out but was holding himself back.

The moment was gone, as quickly as it had come, and Lloyd's face once again sported a happy smile, like nothing of significance had happened. Perhaps she had imagined the whole thing. But in just a few seconds, the entire centre of her world had shifted, throwing her irreversibly off balance.

Her chest felt constricted, like she couldn't breathe properly, that strange sensation back in her heart again.

But it would be a lie to say she hadn’t figured out what it was. She had fallen into the unfamiliar pit of love, just as she had always wanted. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say she had fallen a long time ago, but had only just realised she wasn’t standing on solid ground any longer.

She had found The One. Finally.

So why... Why had nothing changed at all?

It was no longer possible to convince herself that she could be just like everyone else. Not when she was acutely aware of how stupidly immature she was compared to everyone else, always cringing away from the thought of sex. Whether it be skipping raunchy scenes in books or shows, avoiding popular pop songs with explicit lyrics, or promptly deciding to stop listening whenever her classmates decided it was a good time to talk about it. She couldn't rid herself of nausea that would roil in her stomach. But... that was wrong, wasn't it?

If she loved someone, she was supposed to desire them. That's what happened in all the stories - people fell in love, and then they happily had sex with each other. It was everywhere. In every book, in every show. Even the terrible sex-ed lessons had parroted that a happy relationship was one with healthy amounts of sex. Everyone was going to have sex at some point once they got into a relationship, to want to have it and to eagerly give it. But she didn't. She had never felt the same way. And that was her truth, the one that went unregarded by others.

Or maybe her truth was that she was just broken. That something had shattered inside of her a long time ago, and now she couldn't be put back together, couldn't feel what she was supposed to, what others did. And she didn't know what to do about it.

No matter how much she hated the idea of sex, someday she’d have to force herself to go through with it. After all, it was a requisite for a relationship. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be worthy of love, and she didn’t love her partner enough. She owed it to whoever her partner was, even if one day it ended up being Lloyd. This was her fault, after all. No one else was broken in the same way as her.

It would just be like… forcing herself to eat her vegetables when she was younger, wincing over the yucky taste until she got used to it. Nothing more. Easy.

Maybe then she’d finally get it.

Maybe then everything would magically fix itself.

Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes which she willed to disappear. She felt like the stars above. Shining alone, so far away from any other companion, looking down upon a world that was too far away to understand. All alone. Always all alone.

"Too bad we can't see more here in the city. One day, I promise, we'll see the real starry sky together! The galaxies, the planets, the suns... All of it. It'll be amazing," Lloyd continued, oblivious to her inner turmoil. Because even he could not read her mind.

Colette folded her hands over her stomach, closing her eyes. The enormity of the emotion beating in her heart absolutely terrified her, as did the thought of the future and what awaited her. Could she ever act on these feelings? Would she ever be deserving of acting on them, inadequate as she was? Did she even really love him?

There was no use in agonising over these thoughts, for no answers would ever be found.

"I'd like that," she whispered, squeezing his hand. She was more than willing to just enjoy his company for now. Her dearest friend.

“I’ll show you the rest of the stars that are visible today! Then we can look into the telescope and see the nebula. I’ve already pointed it in the right direction! You won’t want to miss it, it’s incredible! Over there is…”

So long as she could remain with him, everything would be alright.

~~~

“Bye, Lloyd!” Ella said, waving as she sprinted out of the club room. “Have a safe trip home!”

“You too!” he called out after her, as loud as he could without waking up Colette. Her head was resting on his lap, the hair she had freed from her ponytail forming a golden sea that swallowed his legs. Her arms were still wrapped tightly around the huge penguin plush that acted as the club’s unofficial mascot. He couldn’t for the life of him recall where it’d come from.

How did he always end up being Colette’s pillow? Not that he was complaining…

Lloyd ran a gentle hand through Colette’s hair, making sure not to awaken her. Mom would take another 20 minutes to arrive at the drop-off point, so he might as well let Colette continue to sleep. After all, he still had to clean up and lock up the room. At least Colette had helped him with most of it.

He moved his hand rhythmically, watching her minute facial movements. What dream was she having right now? Was it a happy one? He hoped it was. He wanted nothing more than to see a truly happy smile on her face every day, and that was the root of the feelings that had built up over years.

In the ensuing silence, he couldn’t help but think back.

What had happened while he was showing her the stars? There had been a period of time when she had seemed to withdraw into herself, becoming far quieter than she usually was. Almost contemplative. Even a little sad.

She had been back to normal afterwards, cheerful with her large smiles and bright laughter. He didn’t know how to question her about it, didn’t know how to even start the conversation. He wanted to find out, so he could help, in any way he could.

But… No matter how much he hated it, he could only wait. After all, if whatever was weighing on her was simple, she would have told him already. He could only hope she’d be able to tell him about what was troubling her, someday.

And he would wait. For as long as needed…

~~~

26-years-old

Lloyd set the rental car in reverse, slowly backing it up into the empty lot in the mostly deserted car park, the wheels crunching against gravel. Turning off the engine, he pulled the keys out of the ignition and stuffed them into the pocket of his jeans. Glancing over at the seat next to him revealed that Colette was peacefully asleep, head lolling onto her shoulder. Somehow, the abrupt bump in the road some ten minutes ago hadn't woken her up.

This was their second day in Melbourne to celebrate their honeymoon. Dad and Mom had come here for their honeymoon too, but maybe some things become a tradition for a reason. He and Colette had followed a strict itinerary, taking some advice from his parents when planning where to go. They had visited the fisheries for lunch yesterday, where Colette had sung the praises of the fish fillet, absolutely delighted at its freshness, which could never be experienced at home. Following which, they had driven to Phillip island to catch the nightly penguin parade, Colette cooing over all the little penguins waddling home. It was a cute sight - both the penguins and Colette.

It was the middle of winter, the temperature just shy of needing actual winter gear but cold enough that they were both wearing turtlenecks, not accustomed to the winter winds. A bit of a shame, actually. He would have loved to witness the adorable sight of Colette in a beanie that covered her ears, cheeks flushed from the cold and fingers housed in fluffy gloves. But alas, that sight would only remain in his imagination until they travelled to a country with much colder weather.

The car journey had been silent, Colette alternating between staring at the rare car that passed them on the narrow dirt roads, or doodling on her phone with a stylus, occasionally letting out a tiny giggle. As they had agreed upon, she had stopped looking out of the window for the last leg of their journey, which was close to a whole hour. At some point she had stopped making conversation with him, soft snores replacing the sound of her voice as the quiet night and hours of travelling had finally taken their toll.

He reached out a hand to hover over her shoulder, hesitating. He didn’t want to disrupt her rest, but she wouldn’t be seeing anything if she didn’t wake up, and that would render all his effort to transport the two of them into the remote meaningless. He had no choice.

“Colette.” He called her name softly, gently shaking her shoulder until she let out a tiny sigh. Her eyes fluttered open, still filled with sleepiness.

“We’re here. It’s time to get out of the car,” he said, grabbing hold of the strands of her hair that had fallen into her face during her sleep and tucking them behind her ear.

“Oh. Thanks for waking me up.” Colette yawned, covering her mouth with her hand as she stretched, trying to shake the sleep out of her system. “I need to cover my eyes while I get out, right?” she said, covering her eyes with her palms and giggling, doing exactly as they’d discussed without question. “I can’t look until you say so! Can’t spoil the surprise now, right?”

“Perfect! I’ll help you out of the car. Wait there.”

Lloyd stepped out of the car, shutting the door and running over to her side. He opened the passenger-side door, grabbing hold of her bent arms.

"Carefully now," he muttered, slowly helping Colette out of the car and steadying her when she stumbled slightly onto the gravel. Taking a stronger hold around her arm, he began to guide her across the carpark towards a small hill, walking backwards and taking the occasional peek behind his shoulder to get a gauge for where he was going. With each step they took, the loose bits of gravel under their feet were kicked aside.

The grassy hill was a little harder to go up backwards, but he persevered. The grass was wet with dew, starting to wet the hem of his jeans as they brushed the skin of his ankles. Colette was completely silent, seemingly holding her breath in anticipation of the big reveal.

The trip out here had been exceedingly long, for this place truly was off the beaten path. He could count the number of people here with the fingers on one hand. But he could certainly say the trip had been worth it. Just sneaking a peek upwards was enough to make up for everything. This place really lived up to all the praise it had been given online.

Making sure they had a wonderful view of the sky, Lloyd came to a stop, turning Colette by the shoulders so she was facing the right direction. "You can look now," he whispered into her ear, tapping her shoulder and stepping back.

Colette uncovered her eyes and let out an audible gasp, transfixed by the night sky. They were far from civilization, so distant that there were no artificial lights to interfere with the natural dance of the stars. Laid out above them were millions of stars, clustered together and twinkling in unity. Swirls of pink and purple denoted the galaxies, resembling little bits of cotton candy painted onto the black canvas of the sky, interspersed with tiny dots that represented planets. The entire universe was spread out before their eyes to witness, splendid and magnificent.

He watched as she raised an arm, tracing the skies slowly. It almost seemed like her index finger was trailing stardust. He wouldn't be surprised if she actually was, since she was already pure magic in every other way.

She turned to face him, the starlight reflecting in her wide eyes and off the ring on her left hand, painting her as a more beautiful sight than even the gorgeous skies above him.

"You remembered!" she exclaimed, running over to throw her arms around him, knocking him back slightly as she smiled up at him. Thankfully, they were nowhere near the edge of the incline, or they would have gone tumbling down a long way. This close, he was even more reminded of her untouchable beauty: her shimmering blue eyes were breathtaking. "You kept your promise."

Colette moved her arms so they were wrapped behind his neck. She was practically hanging off of him; his gaze focussed on her smiling face.

"Well, I wanted to see it too." He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to press a kiss on her forehead. "And I always do my best to keep my promises."

I promised that I would never leave you, and I will keep that promise. No matter what.

“They’re all together now. They’re not alone anymore,” Colette said, "Thank you." She rested her head against his shoulder, his hands automatically shifting to her back, holding her close. "I love you."

She said those words so easily now, without the hesitance that had bogged her down at the beginning. He knew not all of her fears and insecurities were gone - maybe they never would be, and all they could do was reassure each other. There were the terrible nights where she would sob next to him and admit she felt like a fraud for being unable to give him sexual intimacy, crying that she wasn't enough and that he deserved so much more. All he could do was hold her in his arms and whisper into her hair that it was alright, that he loved her, that he didn’t care. But as time went on, those nights became less frequent, until they were few and far between. Besides, she did give him pieces of that intimacy, whenever she could - the gift he cherished, for it truly meant the world coming from her.

"I love you too. Picture?" he offered, holding up his phone. He wanted to create a physical memory of this magical moment, one that they could preserve forever.

Besides, if his parents didn’t get a photo, they would probably murder him. Mom, at least. So would Sheena, with Zelos’ snickering as an accompaniment to the crime. He wouldn’t live to see another day once he got back home.

"Of course," she replied. And he hoped the picture would be able to capture her bright smile, that which was most precious to him.

~~~

The picture they took would become a cherished memento, to be displayed on their nightstand forever - Colette pressing a kiss to his cheek, even as she gave him bunny ears, both of their faces lit up with large smiles.

~~~

Next chapter

#fanfiction #tales of symphonia #multi chapter #colloyd #colloydweek2021 #day 4: stargazing #colette brunel #lloyd irving