#no one @ me that you shouldn't wish bad things upon people i don't care anymore

[alagaesia-headcanons]

There's something inherently ugly about how you ship Murtagh with Orrin. It's one thing to not like the main ship for a beloved character as set up by the author - valid - but it's another to push half of said ship away to force in your fave pasty white boy. You can write meta after meta after meta all you want about how poor Orrin is done dirty, or how that meanie Nasuada hurt him, or how the books don't put your fave background character on a pedestal, but all your writing amounts to is the fact that you've imprinted on Orrin and are now using him as a vessel for your original character. In your writing, he's not a character from the series anymore - he's your OC wearing Orrin's face and bearing Orrin's name. Which, it isn't bad to expand upon a sidelines character. But it's the way you turn around and spew how fandom fave Murtagh is in love with your OC that really shows the truth and the rot festering in you. You can cry and bemoan the romantic love Paolini has written between Murtagh and Nasuada, but your essay won't amount to jack shit if you're just going to turn around and replace Nasuada with your OC and suddenly sing it's praise.

Before you start decrying all of this, ask yourself: why are you so desperate to discredit canon's romance? It's one thing to think they should both remain single after the trauma they experienced throughout the series - fair take. But then why are you so eager to prop up your own ship? Is "Orrin" inherently more worthy of of Murtagh's love? Or is Nasuada simply not worthy, but instead in the way, in your eyes? You can wish all you want for people to love your writing, but that doesn't hide the rotten foundation of your ship: sidelining Nasuada to uplift your white fave and wanting him to have all that she does. No amount of rambling meta about how they're a "good ship" and they would work will ever cover up your inherent biases and -ism's that your poor sad white boy's ship is built upon.

For the love of god.

Anon, let me just say this to you directly- block me. It's that easy. Sending something like this instead is an embarrassment. But since you've already said your piece, I'll go ahead and say mine.

Let me first bring up what you oddly wouldn't directly accuse me of (maybe even you knew what a blatant straw man it is), that being racism. I'm not going to make light of this. Racism in fandom is a real issue, and separating a ship with a character of color to ship white characters can be a symptom of that. I have never turned a blind eye to this and I make a continual effort to remain conscious of it because it's incredibly important to me that I'm not contributing to this kind of prejudice in fandom.

This pairing started years ago when I thought of a crack ship polycule with all three of them. Over time as I considered that, the idea of shipping Murtagh and Orrin developed into a distinct concept which I found more intriguing than shipping Murtagh and Nasuada. At that point, I made an active decision to examine my interest and determine if it was grounded in the way canon presents the individual qualities and dynamics of these specific characters, independent of the broad groups any of them fall into, or if it lacked any such basis in canon and only stemmed from an unconscious bias of mine. And if I didn't find any substantial elements of canon that supported the idea, I intended to put it away and work through my bias.

So I looked, and I found I could fully explain the reasons the ship appealed to me through the details in the books. I never made some public announcement about taking this issue into full consideration because it shouldn't be performative. Holding myself accountable is a basic personal responsibility which I take seriously, not something to make me look better. But it’s always felt meaningful to simply convey that I care about putting thought and reason into my ideas and my preference for my ship isn’t baseless. I’ve done that, but it seems I should be more direct here.

So let me lay out my thought process. Why am I not interested in shipping Murtagh and Nasuada? The things that deter me personally are both emotional and logistical issues. The major emotional issue to me is how disparate their priorities are. Murtagh prioritizes protecting loved ones, which causes issues when he accepts and complies with awful acts while trying to defend them. Nasuada prioritizes the good of her cause, which causes issues when she dismisses another person’s wellbeing when it’s in the way of her goals. Murtagh’s character arc is about learning the best thing he can do for his loved ones might be accepting their willingness to make sacrifices, suggesting he becomes aware of his issue and would try to correct that going forward. However, Nasuada still doesn’t seem aware of her issue after the war, given her policy about magicians and her minimal concern for Roran, so that still presents an underlying problem that would badly exacerbate their serious trauma until it’s addressed.

None of that is a moral judgment on anything. Both of them could cause any number of other issues; it’s just stating where they stand. And I still think they could be written in a way that stays true to their characters while working through those issues so that they stay together. I think it’d be exceptionally challenging, and it still might not be to my own taste, but it has that potential. But there are also logistical issues. Nasuada is queen in Uru’baen. I genuinely feel like this is so meaningful to her character, a very fitting culmination of her aspirations, and if she were to take substantial spans away from her throne, it would be a disservice to how she was written. That said, with the way I characterize Murtagh, I really don’t feel that he would want to openly settle in a place defined by politics and power struggles. I feel like it would be very unfulfilling for him and Thorn, especially in the city of his tumultuous childhood and their tortuous enslavement. So given the dissatisfaction if Nasuada left the rule she wants and deserves and the discontent of Murtagh living in Uru’baen, I struggle to imagine them as more than a distant, intermittent relation.

So that’s why I personally don’t enjoy shipping them. Of course, it’s subjective, but I feel like it’s also fair, and you seem to suggest that you do too. So let’s move on. So now the question is if a potential relationship with Orrin would present the same or equivalent issues that I overlook just because he's a white man.

Naturally, this is subjective too, but I say no. Of course there are still possible emotional issues between them (if there were none it’d be boring), but they’re different. Given the way specific way Orrin grieves for his friends and struggles to have faith in their cause when he sees the risk of his people being killed, I believe he is also more focused on looking after individuals than pursuing a cause. I feel like that lays a smoother groundwork with Murtagh, who has been hurt by people who dismissed his wellbeing, and that reduces a lot of underlying pain between them. Orrin’s other struggles, like defeatism, fear, and hopelessness, as well as yearning for recognition and autonomy, align with Murtagh’s experience more in a way that makes their emotional issues more interesting to engage with.

With logistical issues, obviously Orrin is also a king. But I don’t find that presents the same issues either. I interpret that Orrin didn’t want to be king and isn’t content in that role. When the matter of Murtagh’s desire to avoid being openly tied to Surda’s seat of power arises, I find a much more interesting and balanced potential story where Orrin also hopes to leave his crown and they support each other in their search for a home that they can both make their own. The discrepancies I personally find so bothersome between Murtagh and Nasuada don’t come up with Murtagh and Orrin, so I enjoy their ship more. It’s just about my interpretation of compatibility. That is the crux of my thought process. No one has to agree with it, but I believe it stands as a fair assessment.

You insist that I ask myself why I prefer one ship over another. I've done that. I've already been doing that the entire time and will continue to do so. You keep whining that I make a lot of meta analysis about aspects of the characters and how I feel like they would or wouldn't mesh together, and yeah. That's the whole fucking point. In the same way I just did, those posts explore and articulate the concrete reasons one ship appeals to me and one doesn't. For years I've diligently asked myself why I'm drawn to Murtagh/Orrin more than Murtagh/Nasuada and I'm fully secure and confident in my answer that it's the emotional and narrative possibilities they have that appeal to me more. If I was given all the details of these characters, stripped of any names, descriptions, genders, ect. I know I would still really love this ship.

And that's not even to say that it's somehow "better" (it's just different in a way that suits my taste), or that Murtagh and Nasuada's relationship must be meaningless or non-existent if it's not romantic. In my story where I ship him and Orrin, he and Nasuada go through struggles, but as they grow, they're able to reconcile and learn to better support each other and their relationship ends in a much better place.

(Also, if you're talking about my “essay” that Murtagh's true name doesn't change because he fell for Nasuada, that's irrelevant to shipping them. The series could end with them getting married and they could be my all time otp, and it'd still be true that falling in love didn't change his true name. It's just a separate part of his character arc.)

For another thing, Murtagh and Nasuada are NOT a canon ship, and that does matter. For example, it has very different implications to change an interracial ship that is happily married in canon. In the IC, it is canon that they're attracted to each other, but nothing beyond that. (And I've never even discredited that! In fact, I've said their attraction is well written and in character. It's included in my story; I didn't overwrite it.) They're never in a relationship and there's no set up that implies romance is inevitable for their stories. You yourself acknowledge that there are very valid reasons to interpret that a romantic relationship wouldn't work between them!!! So if it's fine to not ship Murtagh and Nasuada as a couple, why is it suddenly heinous to imagine Murtagh with someone else?

It’s not. Your claims are far more baseless and distasteful. Why do you act like Nasuada couldn’t possibly be respected or worthy without Murtagh’s affection? Why do you act like pointing out her mistakes condemns her entirely, as if she’s not allowed to have any flaws? Why do you think a relationship with Murtagh is equivalent to all that Nasuada has? I won’t make your kind of moral accusations about a stranger, but I will simply say that I find that very objectionable. I love Nasuada for being such a unique, flawed, and fascinating character who is so much more than all that. And if you made such a volatile, deplorable, inappropriate response simply to the idea that Murtagh- a fictional character- could love someone else, you might need to take a step back. You’re being cruel.

(Also, I don’t feel like going through the whole “u just made orrin into an oc” shit tbh. This is long enough. I take care to draw my characterization from canon, but y’all can read my stuff and decide for yourself if you’d like. Although, saying I imprinted on him is the funniest part of this ludicrous message. You know what, yeah. I’ve tricked you all. You thought this blog was being run by a human being? WRONG. Baby duckling.)

#also being accused of having 'a rot festering within me' makes me feel like a fucking dark souls boss lmfao #long post #eragon #inheritance cycle #im getting this out of my head go be free #this was some cartoonishly villainous shit guys #also hate how they ignore the potential depth of nasuadas relationships with others- including women like arya elva and trianna #as if murtagh determines nasuada's importance and worth. gross

[yueasuka]

Day 2 of Adrien AUGreste : Truth for @adrienaugust

He didn't remember when he reached his room, he didn't even remember detransformed or when exactly he parted way with Ladybug. He just did, and now he's in his room, on his bed to be precise. For how long, he doesn't know.

"What now?" The voice that was so similar to Plagg's voice asked (or maybe his voice) but he couldn't answer it, he just didn't have enough energy to do so and even if he had, what should he answer anyway?

"Adrien, drink this."  

He lifted his head up from the pillow that he used to stuff his face with and saw Plagg with a glass of water in his hands. He looked worried, perhaps the most worried looks he ever saw from the years of time he had spent with the kwami and he shouldn't have worried him more than that. With whatever strength he had left, he pushed his body up from the bed and leaned his back against the wall before he accepted the glass. For a moment there he could see his own reflexion in it, a face that looked more tired than he had in his previous timeline despite looking much younger, green eyes that looked so dull that he wondered if there was any life in it anymore. If there's any means for his life-

"Adrien, please."  

Right, he should be focused on Plagg rather than whatever dark whisper he heard. After all, Plagg was the only one who truly cared for him. Apart from his mother, not even Ladybug ever came close. No, never her . He amended and drank the water after muttering a thank you to him.  Perhaps there was a time when he thought Ladybug did care, but upon knowing the truth thanks to another time travelling akuma, he doubted it was the case.  

If she cared, she would tell him about the reason why Rena Rouge (Furtive?) kept following them on patrol. If she cared, she would tell him the reason why she called him into the tower that night. But no, she didn't. She kept on silent even after he confronted her with the truth that he knew, because the akuma sent him back to those timeline, as if he knew what time to send him back. It's hurt, to be betrayed like this by someone who he once thought to be a partner despite them being chosen by a different person. (Perhaps, Adrien once thought, that was the reason why she always doubted him, never trusted him, because he came out of nowhere) but none of the pain from Ladybug's betrayal come as close as the betrayal from his own family.  

'How come they just replaced me with a sentimonster of all things?' After what he had done to cure his mother nonetheless.  

'Maybe a puppet is what they truly want.' He knew his father would, at least, after all those scolding and lecturing about how he must meet his father's standard for everything he did.  

Don't let Adrien remember me as a bad father. The last word from his father sparked something inside him. It was only a chuckle at first before it became a hysteric laugh.  

"Hey kid, you okay?"  

"Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm insane after all." He answered in the middle of his laugh. He let out a loud sigh and patted his cheeks several times before he answered more for confused Plagg. 

"I always know he's never a good father. Perhaps there was a time when I thought he was just cold because he was busy and I kept disturbing him because, you know, I was a kid. But now I think again, I can't remember when exactly he ever became a good father and, as you already know, this is my third regression."

"And?"

"The fact that I couldn't even remember when he was a good father, even with the combined life I had before this, just made his last wish become ironic." He scoffed. "Don't let Adrien remember me as a bad father, he said. As if he was ever a decent father before that."

"You know kid? You, trying to find good memories of your father doesn't mean you're insane. I've seen people trying to find the most mundane thing that they believe to exist. You're only insane if you said your father is a hero and went to worship him." Plagg floated, cheese in his hands before it went into the void that was his stomach, which made him smile at the sight and rub his cheek on Plagg's head lightly. "So what are you going to do after this?"  

"I don't know, sleep?"

"Are you sure you're not going to do with this?" He pointed to his phone next to his pillow. At first he was confused at what Plagg was referring to until he saw a headline from a notification on his phone.

Breaking news : Ladybug and Chat Noir defeated Monarch. Gabriel Agreste died in the crossfire when he tried to protect the young heroes from Monarch's attack.  

He couldn't help but blink twice when he saw the notification, not believing what he had just read. He quickly took his phone and swiped right into the article and read it. Apparently, in his moment of daze (he was out of it for days???) Ladybug had already made an announcement about the result of their fight except… It's not the whole truth. She twisted the truth by saying Gabriel had sacrificed himself when Monarch tried to take their miraculous and, thanks to that heroic sacrifice of him, a statue will be built from the Alliance ring that was hacked by Monarch to honor  it.

"What? What the heck is this?" He asked in disbelief and Plagg could only shrug. "It's insane! How could she twist the truth like that?" He muttered before he swiped into another article, and another and another one, only for the result to be the same. It was the same twisted truth that Ladybug told the world about Gabriel's heroic sacrifice for the peace of the world and it made him feel sick.  

He wondered if somehow his father had already got his hands on his and Ladybug's miraculous and this was the world that he created. Except no, his father never got his hands on his miraculous. He got Ladybug's earrings, which exposed her identity to both him and his father, but in the end he never get his ring and he could get the earrings back. So, no wish. Then what is this insanity that makes her do this?  

"Forget sleeping," he said as he tossed his pillow and plushies aside before he climbed down from the bed and got dressed.

 "Let's find out the truth from her."e

#adrien agreste #adrienaugreste #adrienaugust #Miraculous Ladybug #Ml fic #My fic #My writing #Hey I manage to keep up with the deadline as long as I remember the other side of the globe is still 4 august 🤣 #But still finishing two chapter is a new achievement for me 🤔 #Ml rebirth AU #Rebirth AU

[dancingazaleas]

𖨆. 06 / all for us

summary: you wake up in your room, and you can’t help but try again. even if you might meet a strange doctor and their assistant.

note: another dark chapter. please read the warnings.

taglist: @voltairelesecond @baelo80 @the-sun-baby @stupid-stinky @uniquepickle @ascybous @messyhairday-me @saturnalya @megumitodoroki @kouyume

word count: +2.5k

warnings/notes: cursing, mentions of self harm, mentions of suicide attempt, blood, suicidal thoughts, panic attack, suicide attempt, medical inaccuracies, a little graphic detail of glass being pulled from skin

YOU'RE disappointed whenever you awaken from your temporary slumber. you were sure that you were close to death with that blade on your vein, but it turns out you were wrong. well, that's what you think until you look at your arm.

each one of the cuts is stitched up neatly while the bandages trying to wrap around them are loose. you sit up while inspecting some of the bloodied bandages on your hand, must've been from whenever you broke the mirror.

you sigh sleepily, staring at the bedroom door in hopes that someone will come entertain you even just for a moment. luckily, your wish is granted whenever you watch erwin slip into the door silently.

he's trying to be silent, that much is obvious by how he's not wearing any shoes and instead socks along with him shutting the door gently. he turns to you, flinching at how your eyes bore into his head even as you lay down.

"you're awake it seems," he smiles and sits on the edge of the bed, large hand caressing your pale cheeks.

you start to sit up only to be fussed at by erwin, who softly shoves you back against the bed.

"how am i still alive," you stare into the ceiling.

"when you passed out, we managed to get ahold of our friend that's a doctor," of fucking course. of course they'd have a doctor friend, how the fuck else would they get roofies?!

"when can i get out of bed," you lay your hands on the collar around your neck.

"tomorrow, we didn't expect you to wake up today."

"how long have i been dead for?"

"an incorrect term to describe you, however you've been out for a day. our friend told us with your mental struggles it might take longer for you to wake up," he sighs and rolls his head while a gentle smile forms on his face.

"can you turn on a show for me? don't care what," you look to the ceiling fan.

"of course," erwin says in slight concern. he'd expected you to, at the least, shed some tears, whether it be from happiness or sadness. but you weren't reacting at all.

"you know.... when i was younger people didn't like me," you sigh, "but i was okay with it. as long as i didn't get hurt, i didn't care all that much."

"why are you telling me this?"

ignoring him, you let out a small and bitter chuckle, "when i got into high school, i made friends with a boy who had a twin brother. his name was marcel, he was so sweet and kind.

"he's dead now. it tore his brother apart, i'd never seen porco in that much pain before."

mistakenly, erwin ponders, "how did he pass?"

it's the first time you turn your head to stare at him with those dead fish eyes of your's. you looked almost sinister as you burned holes into erwin's head.

"suicide."

erwin left your room with stiff shoulders that night.

————

two days later, you're standing to look at yourself in the bathroom mirror. you're surprised they didn't take the glass away from you, but you're sure it's for brushing your teeth or something.

as you stare at yourself, you allow your shoulders to shake as they hold up your arms leaning on the sink.

you wonder what your friends would say at seeing you like this. so desperate to get out that you're willing throw away everything you have just to get it.

there's an itch at the back of your mind, festering up against the walls over your brain.

'they'd think you look pathetic,' the itch, now a voice, whispers.

"porco wouldn't," you whimper. porco's been through this process before, he gets it, he understands. right?

'marcel died by his own hands in order to cleanse himself from his sadness. he'd look down upon you for comparing this to his case,' you squeeze your eyes shut and put your hands over your ears.

"pieck wouldn't. she's by my side forever," you sob.

'pieck fought with you before your disappearance. she called you a fuck-up. look at yourself, you'll find that she's right,' and with bated breath you look up.

you sob, shooting your arm back that's clenched into a fist. you punch the glass, which flies all onto your arm and hand. you storm out of your bathroom in fear, stumbling as you look at the stool used for your vanity.

you take it hastily, setting it up the ceiling fan and standing on it. with rushed movements, you wrap the chain connecting with the metal collar around the base of the fan. you step off of the stool, kicking it away with your foot while you choke.

you're starting to black out when you see levi run in with erwin, and you pray to the heavens that you'll wake up in hell.

————

once again, you're disappointed. you whimper weakly while crying, you just wanted to die. you don't want to be trapped in here anymore, you just want to escape.

your throat burns. and before you can try to test your voice, someone's unlocking the door while letting out an almost wicked laugh.

the door swings open to reveal a person, who's long brown hair is pulled into a messy ponytail and wearing circled glasses on their face along with an eyepatch. behind them follows a much meeker man, one that's reprimanding their actions as they shout loudly in excitement at the realization that you're awake.

"moblit!! she's already awake," the person hoots to the man behind them, who you're going to assume is moblit.

"i can see that hanji! now, quiet down! you're probably scaring her," moblit scolds the person named hanji, who ignores the warnings.

"hello, my darling~! i'm your doctor, hanji zoë but feel free to call me hanji! do you have any recollection of what happened," they sing excitedly, shoving their face close to you.

you nod nervously, who the fuck was this person.

"i apologize for their behavior, they act almost as a dog," moblit emphasizes while pulling hanji away by their shoulder.

"we came to see if you sustained anymore damage onto your body besides your neck," he looks you over.

you hold up your hand, smeared with your dry blood. hanji gently takes it into their hands, frowning deeply at what they see.

"get my tweezers for me, moblit. she's still got some tiny pieces of glass in the wounds. i'm sure that's why you were hurting so bad before we came in, huh," hanji attaches a magnifying glass to their glasses while slipping on medical gloves. you'd just woken up, but you weren't gonna tell them that.

moblit hands them a tray along with tweezers, not to mention hydrogen peroxide.

"tisk tisk! that shorty and eyebrows really don't know how to put hydrogen peroxide in! losers," they cackle at the end, which has moblit slapping a hand down onto their shoulder.

"alright alright!" they smack it away, taking your hand—palm faced down—gently while adjusting their magnifying glass.

you scream as they start to pull out a piece of glass, not exactly expecting them to be either big or long. you sit up on your elbow to look, you don't exactly trust this person.

your scream has levi and erwin bursting in the door just as hanji pulls out a smaller piece of glass, that they had to dig a bit for and it made you cry.

"what'd you do?! what are you doing?!" levi bombards while erwin rushes to your side.

"well, i'm trying to concentrate on getting some of this glass out of her skin. unless you want it to get infected, i'm going to continue. it just hurts," hanji says in frustration, bringing your hand closer to their face.

"oh, thank god," erwin sighs in relief but immediately jumps at the sound of your teary shout.

"it's okay, you'll be okay," he reassures, wiping a tear away with his thumb.

bursting with slight anger and immense pain, you snap at him, "don't you think i know that?! it just hurts!!"

both erwin and levi look shocked at your outburst just as you hiss in pain again.

sighing, hanji looks at you, "okay, i saved this one for last since it'll be the most painful to get out."

"just get it over with," you sob, squeezing your free and bandaged hand into a fist.

you knew it was going to hurt, they'd just told you. however, you didn't realize that somehow a piece of glass managed to get stuck in the wound with one side of it being lunged under unharmed skin. it was like trying to get out one paper out of a stack.

you scream again, letting yourself fall onto your back again and swinging your arm over your eyes. biting your lip, you breathe heavy with shaky sobs.

"this is worse than giving birth," you cry.

"it's definitely comparable," hanji humors you while they poke at the glass.

it makes you chuckle a little, considering they're the one putting you through this.

whenever they pull the piece of glass out, it feels like an immense weight has been taken off you as you relax your body. you hiss at the hydrogen peroxide, but it's much better than the pulling of the glass. you reach up to your collar, only to realize that they've detached the chain connecting to it.

you're frustrated, even more so whenever hanji pulls away from you and acts like this is a totally normal occurrence. you're kidnapped for god's sake, shouldn't they be calling the police?

you let your eyes wander around the room, and when they set on levi, you tense. you scoot away from erwin, since he's on the same side of the bed as him, and place yourself at the edge of the bed.

"alright, we need to talk to you about some things," erwin brushes some of your hair behind your ear, completely ignoring your fear of levi.

"first things first, you can't be trusted alone," levi grunts and leans against the wall with his arms crossed.

"which means, you'll be spending time with levi during the day until i get home or if i request to see you," erwin cautiously and slowly says.

your eyes widen while they shoot between levi and erwin, absolute fear swarming your body.

"i only hit you whenever you disobey," he scoffs, "i believe pain is the best way to teach someone a lesson."

"he won't hurt you unless you give him a reason to," erwin tells you reassuringly. it doesn't work well.

"please, don't hurt me. i'll be good, just don't hurt me," you croak while looking to levi, who softens a bit at the statement.

"don't worry then," he nods, "now go back to sleep. i'm sure you're tired after all that screaming. you'll be with me at eight in the morning."

you nod, shakily grabbing ahold of the remote on your bed and turning your tv on. levi slips out of the room without a word while erwin stays back.

"good night, my love. get some rest," he whispers, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

you hum in response, scrolling through the selection of movies on the netflix account levi and erwin provided for you. you choose a rom-com movie, seeing as you don't actually plan on staying up just to watch it.

you turn onto your side and close your eyes.

and for the first time, you rest easy.

the next morning, levi leads you through the home by hooking his pinky with your's. you were slightly thankful at the gesture. he knew that you were nowhere ready to be fully touched by him and that you weren't allowed to leave his side.

you sit on the love seat in his office, shyly taking the tv remote from his hands when he offers.

"watch anything, just don't turn it up too loud," he sits at his chair with a sigh as you scroll through movies on hulu.

you choose the movie footloose while you get comfortable on the couch. you try to ignore the small shivers running up and down your body as you're not covered up with a blanket.

you glance over to one of the bookshelves levi has up against the wall, trying to find if levi had any good reads. but before you could read the titles printed on the spines, a certain book that poked out from behind the others caught your eye.

'memories' the fraying writing was a messy cursive on the spine, something you assume levi wrote.

you get yourself lost in thought while staring at the bookshelf. if the book was in levi's office and in levi's handwriting, that means it has to be a scrapbook. and that it's levi's.

your eyes shine at the realization, but you try not to let it show. you'll wait for levi to get the two of you lunch before you'll look at it.

and so, you wait with patience. it seems so grueling as the time passes and you switch from movie to movie, but you hope it'll be worth it in the end. you hope that it explains why levi is the way he is.

"i'm going to make our lunch. the door's lock behind me since it's a keypad. stay put," levi says with slight annoyance, walking out of the room grumpily.

at the sound of the door locking, you jump to your feet and race to the bookshelf. you carefully pull the book out of its place, immediately flipping it open to the first page.

and there levi was, in all of his glory. levi was a baby in the photo, closed eyes and a peaceful look on his face as he curled into himself.

turning the page, you almost gasp at the image you see. levi's being fed by a gorgeous woman, who you can only assume is his mother. the next picture on the page shows levi wearing raggedy clothes with greasy hair shining in the sun as he crouched to hold stare disgustedly at a bug on his finger.

it made you giggle, but the next photo made you frown. levi, who looked to be at the age of five, was standing next to an older man with a casket behind them. you look at the note written under it.

'mom's funeral,' it reads, and you feel an immense amount of pity.

the next picture is a picture of levi at the age of seven standing in front of a beat up school with dirty and ripped clothing. his hair is long enough to be a mullet in this and his body looks so frail compared to now. levi's face shows not a hint of emotion, instead his eyes stare right through the camera and back at your's.

you jump whenever a book on the shelf falls onto its side. you hiss while rushing to put it back up, and as soon as you do, one from the top shelf falls onto the ground somehow. you hurriedly grab it and reach up to it on your tip toes, but you're barely able to reach.

you curse while you use the bottom of the bookshelf as a stool, not even realizing just how old this thing seemed and how much you weighed.

you sigh in relief whenever it doesn't fall down, it only wobbles a little as you step back onto the ground. you go to put the scrapbook away, but you notice that the stand hasn't stopped wobbling. it wobbles almost hauntingly back and forth, and that's when you realize it's going to fall on top of you.

you gasp while dashing to the floor while you slide out of the way, not even realizing that the scrapbook was being bricked by your arms holding it to your chest.

you cringe at the loud bang it makes as it falls, but the cringe turns to fear whenever you hear the pounding footsteps of levi.

you can't get up on your feet quick enough as he bursts through the door. his eyes dart to you on the floor and then back to the fallen bookshelf.

"what did you fucking do?! are you that stupid?!!" this has to be the loudest you've ever heard levi speak, and it makes you nervous.

tears well up in your eyes as you stare at him, completely petrified at how you might be beaten once more.

you hope levi spares you, just this once.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction #levi ackerman #snk levi #aot erwin #dark content #erwin smith #sorrels.allforus💒 #sorrels.darkcontent👛 #erwin x you #attack on titan erwin #erwin x levi #erwin x reader #erwin x y/n #commander erwin #snk erwin #levi x you #levi attack on titan #levi x y/n #levi x reader #shingeki no kyoujin levi

[justablah56]

Here's a little hurt/comfort Mociet fic I recently edited! I've had it posted on AO3 for a bit now, and decided now was a good time to post it here as well! so enjoy! im working on a part two for this fic and I have a completed analogical one that I'll post soon as well! but for now, enjoy some soft human au Mociet because I love them

TW: swearing, super minor self harm, panic attack, just the slightest bit of touch starved Patton. let me know if i missed anything!

Patton's POV

He was done. He certainly wished he wasn't, but Patton couldn't do it anymore.

Almost a year ago, he had met someone amazing. They were absolutely incredible. They were kind and caring, and they were pretty much his only friend. Their name was Virgil.

He didn't like them romantically, it was one hundred percent platonic, but he loved them with his whole heart.

In the year he had known them, he had been their 'mom friend', the one who they turned to whenever they needed anything! At least, he hoped they did.

At first, it had been just fine! They were just a couple of people who were friends! And no, the problem that arose wasn't what you'd probably expect.

Patton, was okay! He had a nice place, accepting parents, he had no reason to have problems, so of course he offered to help Virgil, who didn't have those things.

Virgil... didn't have the best household, per say. Their parents weren't the most supportive when they came out as gay, and even less when they came out as non-binary. Nothing had been the same for them since.

They had told me most of this on one particularly bad night... and of course I had done my best to help!

As time went on, Virgil's mental state had been steadily getting better! They got to the point where the times they needed my help became fewer and fewer. We had also met a few other people who had joined our friend group, two boys named Logan and Roman, then there were Remus and Janus, who were gender fluid and pan-gender, respectfully.

And with those new additions to their friend famILY, of course he offered his help to them as well! Because of course he'd never dream of denying anyone who needed help!

And as time progressed, they all helped each other. Everyone was doing better than before we had all met. We were all closer than family, randomly showing up at each others houses simply to crash on their couches and binge shows, or documentaries (in Logan's case).

To any 'normal' person, this should obviously be a good thing! Everyone was doing alright, and he had even gotten Virgil to open up enough to accept more friends, and believe me when I tell you how against that they were at first, especially with their severe social anxiety.should

Now of course, I was happy for them! I was glad that they were alright thanks to me! That I had been able to help! But...

Damn it... I shouldn't feel like this! It's selfish for me to feel so terribly about this...

They don't even need you anymore.

Shut up...

They'd all be perfectly fine without you!

N- well... yeah they probably would be...

You don't have any more purpose to them.

I gripped my hair, hard, as I felt my breathing start to pick up.

They're fine now, they don't need you anymore, and it won't be long until you just... fade away!

"Stop it..." I whispered, not even noticing when my glasses slipped from my face.

The only reason they've stuck around you this long was because you were able to help them! And now they don't need you anymore!

At this point he just wished the tears would fall... It might relieve at least some of his feelings...

It took what seemed to be only a moment for Patton to realize that his hands had left his hair in favor of vigorously scratching at his knuckles.

He didn't care. It made him gave him at least some sense of feeling something.

He just wished he could just... feel something real! Something that wasn't just the pain that he set upon himself. Or at least have a name for... whatever he was feeling...

When it came to helping his friends, he had no problem with listening and figuring out their emotions and how to best help them. He knew them. He knew what helped who, who needed what to feel better, but when it came to himself? It was a completely different story...

Why can't I just be fucking okay...?

It was then I heard a knock on my bedroom door... One of his friends must have come in while he was, ah, distracted...

See? Now because you've been sitting here feeling sorry for yourself you won't even be able to help them!

I took a deep breath in a feeble attempt to dispel the thoughts, and carefully removed my nails from my knuckles, which refused to bleed, mostly because he didn't want to leave any sort of mark that his friends could ask him about... but regardless of that, they were an angry red.

I slipped the paws of my hoodie over my hands in a feeble attempt to cover the marks and put my glasses back onto my face, which only then I realized had fallen off in the first place.

"U-uh yeah one second! I'm-" I cursed quietly as in my hurry to the door I tripped, "'M comin!"

I finally reached the door and opened it with my usual fake smile to see a... concerned? -looking Janus.

"Oh- uh, hey Jan! What's up?" I asked, hoping no trace of my previous attack showed on my face."Sorry to bother you Pat," Janus started, and yep, that was definitely concern etched onto their face, "but you didn't respond when I called, nor any of my texts. Are you doing alright?"

...shit- I must've missed them during my... episode...

I watched their eyes flick up and down my self before Jan's heterochromatic eyes bore into mine.

I didn't exactly trust myself to speak... yeah sure I had spoken just moments ago, but that was before.

Janus just had a way of getting you to want to tell them anything. Just one look at their eyes and Patton was weak.

So, instead I opted on just opening the door wider in a silent offer for Jan to come inside.

They nodded slightly and stepped into my room, sitting down on the edge of my bed and looking at me questioningly.

I closed the door behind me and followed, sitting down next to Janus.

"Patton," they started. I had decided not to look into Jan's eyes... I just didn't want to say anything that might break the illusion that I was just fine.

Well, that was until Janus gripped my face and forced me to look at them.

"Patton, I can tell something's wrong, let me help." Their eyes looked almost pleading... as if I would be doing them the favor by telling them...

3rd Person POV

"...Please?" they asked desperately. Just that tone seemed to physically hurt Patton... The slight crack in their voice however, was what broke him.

The dam that had been holding everything back suddenly shattered, and everything came pouring out, starting with the tears.

"Oh Patton..." Janus held their arms out, silently giving Patton the permission to curl up in their arms.

Patton almost immediately collapsed into their arms, sobbing into Janus' shoulder, with just the feeling of the hug making his skin feel like it was burning... and oh how he longed for that burning.

Patton was blatantly sobbing, and he didn't know what to do. None of this was supposed to happen, he was supposed to be fine! If he wasn't then how would he be able to help any of them... and they'd leave him behind...

"Patton we would never leave you behind," Janus started once again through Patton's sobbing.

Shit... had he said that out loud?

He tried to respond, to defend himself, to reassure Janus that he must have misheard him! -But was choked back by yet another sob.

Janus brought up a hand to absent-mindedly card through Patton's hair, and wow, did the touch of his fingertips send fire through is scalp.

"It's okay to not be okay, for you especially." They said in a soft voice, their other hand tracing shapes against his back. "You carry the weight of all our problems. You're always there to lend an ear, never asking for anything in return."

Janus' voice coupled with their strong arm wrapped securely around him and their feather-light touches, calmed him down.

Patton could smell the comforting smell that was Janus, smelled like lemon zest and vanilla... then he noticed Janus had started talking again.

"You don't have to be grateful things aren't worse." Janus murmured against Patton's ear. "Just because you can't think of a reason to be feeling shitty, doesn't make those feelings any less valid."

Patton looked up from Janus' now tear-soaked jacket into their eyes,

"And what if I don't even know what these feelings are?" He asked softly.

Janus looked just the slightest bit surprised at the question.

Then they tugged Patton closer to their chest and pressed a firm kiss to his forehead.

"Then I will help you figure them out." they said, equally quiet, "and I'll try to help you with them as much as you help the rest of us."

It was then the tears started back up again and Patton clenched his aching hands around the fabric of Janus' jacket.

Janus' voice then sounded a bit panicked, "D-did I say something wrong? Are you alright?"

He quickly shook his head against Janus.

"N-no..." he said, smiling through his tears, snuffling, and hiccups. "You said everything right... th-ank you, Jan."

Patton could feel Janus relax against him.

Janus hummed in acknowledgment, "Of course Patton."

Of course, Janus ended up staying the night, simply being there to cuddle and to reassure Patton until he fell asleep, falling asleep shortly after. If Patton had per-chance turned to look back at Janus, he would have see the look of absolute adoration, tinged with just the slightest bit of worry, that Janus had stared at him with.

Annnnd that's it! thanks for reading, and if you have any requests or anything feel free to give them! I most likely won't be able to come up with anything myself because I'm just like that, so I welcome your ideas!!

#tss #ts sanders sides #sander sides fic #mociet #mociet fic #patton sanders #janus sanders #hurt/comfort

[suganovakawa]

𝐒𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐄 .

PAIRINGS : tooru oikawa x fem! reader , slight hajime iwaizumi x fem! reader

GENRE : angst , romance

WARNINGS : cursing , car accident , recovery from amnesia

SYNOPSIS : tooru doesn’t understand how special you are to him until he comes close to losing you forever . as he struggles to comes to grips with his feelings and balance it with his future , you still have to recover from your own injuries , but without your memories to assist you .

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄 < [ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐄𝐍 ] > 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍

with no other option left, you’ve got to find oikawa and get answers from him.

word count : 1.4k

saudade masterlist .

SAUDADE

( 𝐧 . ) a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant , or that has been loved and then lost ; “ the love that remains ”

⠀if you weren't going to be able to get answers from makki or mattsun, there was only one more option for you to go with. hajime was unwilling to tell you anything, and from what you witnessed the other day, he wasn't willing to let other people tell you, either. if you didn't know any better, you probably killed someone before the car accident.

⠀your last resort was to search out the infamous tooru oikawa and get answers from him yourself.

⠀you knew iwaizumi would be absolutely pissed if he found out you've made up your mind with such a risky idea. then again, who was he to keep your life a secret? you had every right to know what you wanted to know, and you were so damn close to finding out the truth, only for disappointment and defeat to wash over the moment you saw hajime walking side by side with takahiro, as if holding the latter at gunpoint.

⠀it wasn't impossible to get hajime off of you, but with each passing day, he clung to you more and more. it was getting harder to get him off of you - and while you enjoyed his company, enough is enough. you needed to get away from him, at least for the day.

⠀you decided to get your chance at lunch. it was either now or never.

⠀you were surprised to see iwaizumi's tired expression as he made his way over to you, his eyes depleted and his posture completely slumped over. it was unlike anything you had witnessed in the time you spent with him post-accident. seeing him so dejected, tired... you almost felt bad for coming at him with your next wish.

⠀at least, almost. ridding yourself of any doubt by shaking your head hastily, you sucked in a deep breath and pursed your lips together tightly.

⠀"hajime." your voice was firm, causing him to turn his head towards you quickly, his face unreadable as you clenched your jaw at his peculiarity. "today, please, i just want to be alone. just me. i need my distance for today, to see things for myself. i don't dislike your company or anything, i just want to explore some things on my own for a little bit, even if only for today." as to why you had to explain yourself to him, you honestly thought was a bit ridiculous.

⠀"alright." you didn't even register his response at first, it was so quick. when it did hit, your eyes widened slightly, almost in disbelief, as your fellow third year simply shrugged, the scowl on his face still very evident. "yeah, okay. that's fine."

⠀was he planning something else? you didn't want to question it, but he had already walked off, away from the table the two of you usually sat at. you stared at his back as it became farther from your reach, a suspicious feeling growing in your gut as you folded your fingers together loosely, turning the other way and walking opposite direction of where he was going.

⠀it wasn't like hajime to just... let you do that. the hajime iwaizumi you knew, would at least fight to stay by your side. to be fair, his efforts would've been futile if he had tried to persuade you otherwise, your mind was fully set on being alone for the day. did he know you were going to find oikawa and get answers from him? did he finally gain some common sense and actually let you do your thing?

⠀you had resumed your daily life at seijoh for quite some time now, your injuries from the car accident had almost fully subsided, but occasionally there was the extreme migraine that would come out of nowhere. the doctors had told you to stay away from any athletic activity for the rest of the year, just to be careful that your bones aren't glass fragile.

⠀the one thing that upset you the most, was that none of your memories had come back. not a single one of them. you continued to make more with every passing day, but you wanted to remember the ones before everything happened. since you couldn't, wishing for something that seemed like would never happen, was useless.

⠀it was playing detective, in a case about yourself. the only witnesses you had to get your answers, were silenced by the one you could confide in the most. you didn't know what he could be hiding from you, and the thought of it was quite scary; there were no clues that you could pick up to put together like puzzle pieces - whatever you were living out, this seemed to be the reality before the accident, but something felt off. your conscience had become less and less blurry, but it wasn't all there. your brain refused to unlock that part yet, leaving you in the dark.

⠀where the hell is oikawa?

⠀after school hours were the best time to look for him, with no one around and classes done for the day. you had heard through rumors that the brunet frequently spends his time alone after school, roaming through the halls without anyone to whisper or look at him. it had come to a point where oikawa wasn't noticed by his classmates anymore - every time you saw him in the halls, he was simply pushed aside and cast out by fellow classmates, their faces not so friendly as he passes by them with his head hung low.

⠀what did he do to be so looked down upon? he was way too attractive to be pushed to the side like that. the way he carried himself, walked, and even spoke during class - his confidence was there, you could tell he was the charismatic type. it boggled your brain whenever you saw how the others treated him when you were around to witness it. he couldn't have done anything that bad to make people think so poorly of him, right?

⠀would it be stupid to randomly call out his name? you had walked through the halls for about ten minutes now, with no one in sight. you were beginning to think today was just unlucky; he probably went home for the day. maybe it was time for you to go home too; the universe seemingly didn't want you to know anything, it was inevitable in fighting it.

⠀the noises in the gym were saying otherwise, though.

⠀sprinting instinctively towards the sound, you appeared in front of the gym doors, a large sigh of relief coming out of your mouth as you looked at the singular person with the gymnasium all to himself.

⠀you couldn't help but smile. he's here. maybe the universe would give you your answers after all.

⠀from the looks of it, oikawa was jump serving a volleyball to the other side of the net; with the number of volleyballs dormant on the ground, you could tell he had been here for a while. you almost felt guilty for wanting to ruin his concentration for your sake - his eyes were narrowed as he stared straight forward towards the other side, bending down to grab a volleyball right in front of him. you crossed your arms and waited quietly. watching him serve just once wouldn't hurt anyone.

⠀what you weren't expecting, was the awed gasp that escaped your mouth the moment oikawa's palm touched that volleyball.

⠀nor were you expecting him to stop midair and fall to the ground, any focus he held long gone. he screamed as he clutched his right knee, tumbling to the ground instead of landing on his feet. your heart rose in a panic - he had hurt himself on the way down. you sprinted to him reflexively, the shock on both of your faces clear to see as you crouched down beside him, placing a hand on the knee he had injured.

⠀"y/n - "

⠀"does it hurt? are you okay? i'm so sorry for breaking your concentration, i shouldn't have been peeking in on you like that." in a anxious state, you swallowed a nervous lump in your throat as oikawa clenched his jaw to suppress any pain he was feeling, but you could see the tears welling up in his eyes. looking around, you had to find something that would help him out.

⠀screw looking for answers right now. oikawa's wellbeing is more important than that.

a/n : huehuehue here it is, i’ll be sure to have part eleven up in a jiffy! to those also reading rumor has it, i’ll have act two started soon!

taglist ( closed ) — @ot127 @rena0921 @karlitabi-rrito @psychicpercyjacksonfan@crescentbitch @amelimiles @damnirina @pasta-warlord @blossomingbangtan @clinomanians @i-am-kinda-in-alot-of-fandoms @manq-fandoms @cirtruss @sugar-wara @haikoo @anime-simp @kairostatue @awkwardspontaneity @iwantapoptartqwq @aquariarose @softestdreamer @plantisnotplant @avylee@froppysgirl @that-animebitch @wisepandaslimeland @samanthaa-leanne @dumplingzumispam@0hakaashi @captain-janeway @afterglowkuroo @bellabelieveme @attixca @chickenrest@tycrackculture @ynjimenez @karaseijoh @lavieenblancetnoir @dabilove27 @cuddlesslut @crypto-s @keigosbitch@readeretal @shittykawaa @donghyuckster @adriloen @ella-solei @emiyummy @kukiisan @catyuyuyuu @sillykittt @dolan-mendes @kiritokunuwu @the-third-wall @yammerss @monviemoo

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #hq #aoba johsai #haikyuu angst #haikyuu headcanons #hajime iwaizumi #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi scenarios #iwaizumi imagine #hq iwaizumi #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi hcs #iwaizumi fanfic #oikawa angst #oikawa fic #haikyuu oikawa #tooru oikawa #oikawa scenarios #oikawa x reader #oikawa imagine #oikawa tooru #oikawa tōru #hq oikawa #oikawa headcanons

[roll-da-credits]

A Bunny with Bunny?  -Tamaki x reader-

Word count: 2k

Tamaki was someone who needed constant reassuring, you knew that when getting in a relationship with him. But sometimes, you forget. With a new tiny addition to your family distracting you and taking all your time, its hard not to get insecure and jealous.

A/n: AHHHHHHH, I can’t. I hope you guys enjoy the first fanfic I post here. I’ve literally never posted in Tumblr ever. I’ve always used Wattpad.

It was common knowledge by this point that Tamaki Amajiki had a lot of insecurities and anxiety. It only heightened when it came to you.

Although, a lot of the time you diffused his anxiety and insecurities pretty quickly once you realized. Whenever it came to you, he found himself deep in thought at night thinking if he deserved you.

In his mind, you were an incredible person with an equally wonderful personality. While he, on the other hand, was shy and riddled with nervousness at any social interaction. You shone bright, much like Mirio, he thought of himself as nothing compared to you.

Every single time he's had one of those thoughts, you'd be able to sense his doubts by the way he carried himself. Not doubts about your relationship or you, but on himself.

So, the entire day you'd stick close to him, showering him with light affection that you knew won't embarrass or make him feel even more embarrassed.

He considered himself EXTREMELY lucky to have someone as understanding and caring as you in his life. He knew dealing with his myriad of issues was difficult. But you went through them with no problem.

You even helped him with helping himself. By your constant words of affirmation, he's been able to be a bit more confident, even when you weren't there to help him.

Time went on, and by the second year you were dating, he barely had any doubts about himself in your relationship.

That is until he heard your conversation with Nejire.

"Just look at him!!!" You squealed in excitement.

 He was going through a hallway when he heard your and Nejire's voice when the hallways separated to the right and left. He stopped to listen in, curious about what you were talking about.

 "He is adorable." Nejire seemed to agree with you, peeking at the corner. He saw how you gushed about whatever photo you were showing Nejire.

His heart sank a little bit, but he wanted to give the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it was a photo of a family member.

"I just met him like last week and already have A LOT of photos of him."

Ok, this is starting to not sound like a family member.

Maybe it's a friend's baby brother. You have a lot of friends outside of the school you were close to their siblings as well.

"I just want to pamper him with all the kisses in the world and give him world!!!" You gushed.

Shit.

 Tamaki felt his heart drop. There's no way you were talking about a family member. Not by the way you seem to be enamored by them.

He tried to think back on when you seemed to lose interest. Thinking back to last week, did you act any differently?

If you did, he didn't notice it. The problem was last week you said you were ridiculously busy with stuff at home. He could even see from the tapping of your foot to the ground when it was last period you were aching to go back home.

Was it because of this new guy?

His heart clenched at the thought.

"God, I love him so much." His mind begged him to stop listening.

But before walking away, he wanted to hear what Nejire might say. There's no way his best friend would be ok with this.

There's no way she wouldn't protest at you being infatuated with another person when you were still in a relationship with Tamaki. That's just what a good friend would do. Instead of that, she said jokingly.

"Watch out a certain blue-haired boy might get jealous." You both laughed at her remark.

Did you think he wouldn't get jealous over you doting on another guy?

Did the nights you spent together cuddling and napping together really meant nothing to you?

His insecurities crept back into his mind. Tiny voices whispered about how he should've expected it. He should've expected someone as radiant as you would never want to be with someone like him.

His vision was blurred by the lot of tears that came down as he furiously tried to wipe them away.

He didn't watch the way he was going, and as a result, he bumped in head first to someone's chest.

He tried to mutter an apology, yet it came out as a stuttering mess of squeaks. "Woah! Slow down, Tamaki. What's wrong?"

Mirio.

Thankfully the guy he bumped into was Mirio, one of the most understanding guys he ever known.

Mirio pulled Tamaki to the side, where they both sat on a nearby seat. He patiently waited as Tamaki rubbed his eyes red, trying to clear his eyes from tears.

When Tamaki finally calmed down a little and is now just sniffling once in a while, Mirio braved himself to ask the question.

"Hey, Tamaki, what's wrong?" Tamaki's gaze still fixed to the ground, spoke in a voice barely above a whisper. "I think Y/n doesn't love me anymore."

Mirio's eyes went wide in shock. He didn't believe that in a second. You're the person who'd take any chance you can get to attack Tamaki with kisses or force him to cuddle with you whenever he felt unloved.

"Why do you think that?" Mirio composed himself. "I overheard them and Nejire talking about some guy she found cu- cute."

He stuttered a little bit at the end, finding it hard to believe that he would ever say that out loud.

"There has to be a misunderstanding here. Are you sure it's not just some celebrity or a family member?"

Tamaki heard the small panic in Mirio's voice. He knew Mirio didn't want to accept the fact either. "I heard them say that they just met him last week and that they wanted to give him kisses."

Mirio rubbed his temples to try and cope with the upcoming headache caused by stress.

There would be no way that you'd do that to Tamaki, is there?

There was a possibility that you and Tamaki's relationship didn't work out. He knew relationships aren't always permanent. But he didn't believe that you'd be such a coward, flirting with other guys when you were still in a relationship with someone who's head over heels for you.

"Tamaki, how about this." Mirio wanted to come up with a plan. Since it was already time to go home anyway, he thought it'd be a great idea to do it. "You and I can both go to Y/n's house, where they're most likely at right now, then we can talk about it."

Tamaki looked like he was about to disagree until, Mirio cut him off, "We need to make sure we read the situation correctly. We don't want to assume the worse, but at the same time, we shouldn't be needlessly positive either."

Tamaki gaped at Mirio's calmness. He knew he was so lucky to have Mirio as a friend. Someone level-headed that was able to bring Tamaki's mind to the situation at hand.

Tamaki agreed with Mirio together made their way over to your house. Albeit, both of them pretty nervous about what they might uncover.

When reaching your front door, Tamaki noticed how your parent's car wasn't there, which meant they weren't home. Tamaki took the spare key you gave him and opened the door.

It was relatively quiet until there was a high-pitched squeal from your bedroom.

Tamaki jumped at the sudden sound, and Mirio identified it as Nejire's voice.

"HE LOOKS CUTER IN PERSON!!!" They both heard Nejire scream.

Both the boys had incredibly bad feelings about this. Nejire's statement only confirmed the fact that you had brought this guy to your house.

Tamaki shook his head when Mirio motioned him to open the door to your bedroom.

He didn't want to see you all over a new guy who took your interest.

Hell, he didn't even want to be there in the first place.

Mirio sighed and nodded. He understood the circumstances his best friend was in and decided to open the door first.

When he did, the sight made his mouth gape open.

"Mirio!" You greeted the Tintin looking man (he looks like Tintin sue me.) "I've been looking for you everywhere. I want you to meet a special someone."

Tamaki, from behind Mirio's muscular physique, was still hidden from the two other people in the room and also couldn't see anything.

He only assumed the worst.

"This is Shiro. My parents bought him as a gift, and isn't he just the cutest little thing."

Wait

Wait

WAIT

BOUGHT??

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BOUGHT???

Tamaki pulled Mirio away from the door frame and looked at the sight that made Mirio so speechless.

Nejire was sitting cross-legged on the bed, her hand filled with fresh and clean greens.

You were sitting cross-legged as well, but on the ground. In the middle of your legs slept a tiny little black and white Dutch rabbit. (search them up they're adorable)

Now he understood why Mirio was speechless.

It was never a family member.

It was never a new guy.

It was never even a human being.

It was a fucking bunny.

He got so jealous to the point of crying, over a damn bunny.

Embarrassment seeped through him and he instantly walked to the corner of the wall to face it.

He should've noticed the litter box in your house. And how there were tufts of fur stuck on your clothes.

God, he felt so dumb.

You were so confused at your boyfriend's sudden timidness, but because of the tiny little ball of fur currently sleeping where you're sitting. There's no way you'd move and stir him from his sleep.

Mirio laughed out loud, and you quickly quieted him, explaining how bunnies are easily spooked.

He apologized and sat cross-legged in front of you, examining the tiny bunny thankfully still deep in slumber.

"Tamaki heard you talking about little Shiro to Nejire today." You nodded, while your hand softly caresses Shiro's head.

Tamaki shuffled closer into the wall, wishing to any god out there to melt into the wall. "After he told me, we genuinely thought you found a new boyfriend."

Your eyes widened and you looked over to your shy boyfriend.

Your heart ached at the thought.

Luckily for you, Shiro began waking up. Upon waking up, he promptly walked away from you to examine the new human being in the corner of the room, Tamaki.

You stood and gave Tamaki the biggest hug from the back you could muster.

Shiro nuzzled on Tamaki's ankles a little bit, making you giggle. "He seems to like you a lot!" Tamaki still refused to turn your way.

"You know in the RARE chance that I find someone even better than you. Which may I add is close to impossible I would never lie to you and still be in a relationship with you." He valued your honesty and the way you didn't try and make empty promises.

Mirio and Nejire took this as a cue to leave. Nejire, leaving the leafy greens on your bedside table above some tissues.

You took Tamaki's arm and turned him to look at you.

"Hey, hey. Have you been crying over this?" His gaze still fixated on the floor, he nodded.

You sighed and took one of your hands to his cheek to caress it. He enjoyed the warmth of your hand and leaned into it more.

Still trying to reassure him, you gave him a small peck on his lips.

Reminding him that right now, he was the most precious HUMAN guy in your life.

Shiro suddenly thumped at the ground with his two back legs. Both of you glanced over at the tiny bunny.

He looked pissed. He seemed to be demanding your attention and is furious to not be getting any.

Both of you burst into laughter at the silly behavior your bunny was now showing. You both sat down on the floor and began to give the bunny attention.

"See even he's jealous of you." You picked Shiro up on both your hands, all his four feet safely planted on the palm of your hand close to your stomach and not high from the ground.

Tamaki looked at you and Shiro and smiled intently. "Bunny with their pet bunny."

Your face heated up at the comment he made using your pet name, "oh shut up." You tried not to sound flustered but failed miserably. By the dopey smile you have decorating your face right now, Tamaki knew you were still ridiculously in love with him.

Even if one day you're not, Tamaki feels good knowing you'd break up with him before you hurt him any further.

After all, you are his most precious, incredible, kind, caring, daring, loving, patient.

Bunny

#tamaki amakiji #tamaki amajiki x reader #bnha #mha #bnha fanfiction #tamaki x reader #tamaki amajiki x you #suneater x reader #my hero academia #boku no academia #mha x reader #mha fluff #bnha fluff

[stressedinsomniac]

His Lie // Her Truth: Fruba Fanfic

Type: One-Shot; AU

Words: 1290

Relationships: Kyo x Tohru

Triggers: Just.....pain

Rating: T

*Takes place during season 3; episodes 8/9 of the 2019 anime adaptation or right after Kyo's confession.

Summary:

---

His next actions didn't involve thinking. Just moving.

He was between Tohru and Akito in an instant.

The knife was inside his back the next.

---

"I'm...disappointed in you,"

Why were those the words that came out of his mouth?

It had hurt. Someone finally accepted him - true form and all. All his quirks and rough edges, all his baggage. She knew how to dissolve all the defenses he'd been honing his whole life in an instant. She just had to look at him and somehow a little of the darkness was melted. Every time.

"Let's go home,"

She'd found what to say so naturally, like she could read his mind. The phrase he'd always wished someone would say to him - the real him - and she'd said it.

Why did it have to be Tohru Honda of all people?

It was almost as though the universe was trying to torture him. While she soothed his pain, she also inflicted it ten fold without even being aware.

You don't know anything. Not what I did, or what I failed to do.

It was true. She didn't know. I deserved the pain.

How'd things get so screwed up? She loved him. Someone finally loved him.

But it was wrong. So wrong.

It hurt. Because he loved her back. He wanted her so much, and she was so close. Right there.

But it wasn't fair. I can't do this.

He confessed. All of it. All his sins. All his wrongs. Even though it was painful to say it. Because there was no way she could still love him after that, and that was how it should've been from the start.

I didn't mean to run into you. I didn't mean to get so close. I didn't mean to fall in love.

Yet she still accepted him. She still looked him in the face and told him she loved him.

"I'm...disappointed in you,"

How could he leave her with those words and then run away? The only one who didn't grimace at his existence. The only one who wasn't disgusted by him, including himself. The only one who didn't think he was a monster.

The only one that loved him.

He was filled with an ache that came from more than just the rain. His body screamed, but he kept running, not even knowing where the hell he was going. He didn't know what else to do. He wanted to collapse. It was pouring. It felt like every drop was trying to drag him down with it.

But something in his gut felt wrong. Everything felt wrong, but this anxious twist in his stomach stood out. He was reminded of the feeling that washed over him when he realized he couldn't save Kyoko Honda, and when she mumbled those words.

"I won't forgive you. Ever."

He moved against his own will. The feeling took over, controlling him. He was running back. No, stop it.

But his legs didn't obey. They carried him back down the path, screaming and burning the whole way. I can't face her again. Not yet. Not right now.

He slowed as he approached the house. He needed to run away again as fast as possible. He needed to get out of here.

Something moving caught his attention. It took a few agonizing seconds to register Akito's figure, brandishing a knife and forcing it in Tohru's direction. Kyo's next action didn't involve thinking. Just moving.

His body came between Tohru and Akito in an instant.

The knife was inside his back the next.

At first it was just shock. He felt the blade in there, and he heard something crunch upon impact, but it didn't hurt. It didn't feel real.

"You! The monster! How dare you protect the insolent outsider who stole everything from me?!" Akito shrieked at the top of her lungs, twisting the knife inside of Kyo's body like she did to Kureno.

And thats when the stabbing, searing pain exploded in his back. He winced hard, and cried out involuntarily, the sound becoming more intense when he felt the knife come out. He saw Tohru, and then the ground came up to meet his face. Akito ran away.

Kyo bit his tongue to suppress his own screams of pain.

I can't cry out. That would make Tohru feel bad.

He realized his arms were up in front of him, which exposed his bare back and wound.

I know how it feels to have guilt eating away at you.

He brought his arms in and crossed them in front of his body so he could rest his head there, his face hidden.

No one should feel that way. Not for me.

The hard raindrops pounded his wound relentlessly.

Damn, it hurts.

They felt like little needles driving into his flesh.

It stings.

He used the pain to steady his breathing, involuntarily trying to escape it by shifting his weight around. But that seemed to make it worse.

I know I deserve the pain, but knowing that makes it hurt more.

It was so hard not to cry out. How much time had passed?

"KYO?!" Tohru shrieked. She came out holding two umbrellas: one for herself and one for him. She ran to him, and the tip of the second blocked the rain from pounding on his wound. It was a relief he knew he didn't deserve, but the pain was lessened a little.

"Kyo?!"

No.

"Are you alright?"

You shouldn't care about me anymore.

"Say Something!"

Go away.

"Help is on the way!"

"Stop it," He sounded so quiet and sad, Tohru felt like his voice had broken her into a million pieces.

She gasped, which caused the umbrella to move. The raindrops started digging into his wound again.

Speaking had caused him to stop biting his tongue. The reminder of the rain made Kyo groan and shift a little.

Damnit.

"Kyo?!" Tohru yelped in concern, then realized he probably didn't want to be screamed at right now, so she spoke softly, her eyes full of worry and sadness.

"Does it...hurt?"

She gently touched his shoulder, but recoiled when he flinched. She felt him quivering under her fingertips for a brief second, and it broke her heart even more.

He bit his tongue again. By now the tip of it was probably bleeding.

She noticed the way he was tensed, the way his back was arched, the way his shoulders were shaking, and the realization came up and hit her like a sledgehammer.

He was surpressing his own cries of pain.

"Kyo," Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, but she tried to sound confident. "You can let it out. It won't change how I feel,"

Kyo's eyes widened.

Then she spoke more softly. "I won't be...dissappointed,"

They were his words. The words he'd used to soothe her, and the words he'd trampled on the next day.

His lies.

And yet she said them back. This time, though, they were her truth. She wanted him to know he didn't have to feel guilty. She knew now. She knew everything, and it didn't change how she felt. That fact only made him feel worse for what he'd said before. Why the hell does she still care about me?

Tears pricked the corners of his eyes, too. Damnit.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"It's...it's ok," her tears were audible now.

It's not.

He groaned and clenched his fists into balls, collecting dirt in the process. He was shaking. Shaking from the cold, from the pain, from the overwhelming emotions that he couldn't put into words. That's when the sirens in the distance got louder and Kyo and Tohru heard a crunch as the ambulance pulled onto the gravel.

Kyo heard yelling and was faintly aware of some people rustling in the distance, but couldn't remember why they were there. Then everything went black.

Part 2 coming on Ao3! If you made it here, thanks so much for reading!

#kyoru #kyo sohma #furuba #tohru honda #kyo x tohru #fruits basket fanfiction #fruits basket #fanficiton #fanfic #tw stab mention #angst fluff #yeet me into the void

[kannra21]

@owishi Asdfghjkhgfds I want to write sum HCs rn! 😆✨✨

~o0o~

After a successful photoshoot the MCPTF duo took for a detective magazine, Haru bashfuly thanked the camera crew for their work and started to gather his belongings. After a couple of seconds he didn't see Daisuke moving much from his spot at the studio backdrop so he decided to check on him.

Daisuke was still standing there, petting a beautiful cat on his shoulders. He was smiling for the first time in a long time and Haru couldn't help himself but to tease him a little.

"You have a soft spot for kittens, huh Kambe?" "Huh?" "You love animals don't you?" "Don't get the wrong idea. Just because I helped that little boy with a dog back the-" "I get it, no need to get so self-defensive." Haru approached the two and pet the cat as well. Daisuke continued "We had a family cat back in the days but she died from a kidney failure." "I'm sorry to hear that." "Pedigree cats are always difficult to maintain."

He then approached the studio producer and asked "What's the name?" while pointing at the purring ball of fluff. "Oh the name's Kumo-" "No, I meant the name of the breed." "It's a Maine Coon my good sir."

Daisuke took his phone, dialed a number and a lovely lady could be heard on the opposite line "Yes, Daisuke-sama?" "Suzue, do we have all the predispositions that satisfy the adoption of a cat?" "I mean yes but we can't charge a butler to take responsibility for everything. Consider chipping, regular visits to the vet, special shampoos, nail clippers, toothbrushes, specialized treats, eye drops, litter box, toys, climbing frames, there are many factors which need to be taken care of Daisuke-sama. Besides, it's been such a long tim-" "Alright"

Daisuke ended the phone call with a dissatisfied sigh before asking quietly "How much?" to which Haru needed to interfere. "Didn't Suzue-san just tell you not to take a cat home?" and Daisuke gave him an annoyed side-glance "I'll figure something out."

When he arrived to the mansion in his Bentley Continental GT, he glanced at the backseat to address the feline comfortably lying in the fancy pet carrier. "You better not make a sound, understood?" to which the cat just purred in satisfaction. Daisuke felt so silly at this moment, like a little boy hiding a broken vase from his mother.

When he was about to enter the mansion, he accidentally walked on Suzue typing something on her tablet. She looked up and was delighted to see Daisuke coming home safe and sound. Daisuke stood at the doors, one side of his body peering from the corner while the other with a cat was hidden behind the wall. "Welcome back Daisuke-sama, the crack-open naengmyeon is already served on the table, you can take your seat." "Actually, I was planning on doing something else beforehand. Would you please excuse me for a moment?" "Of course." Suzue turned around and waited for him in the dining room. And although Daisuke was very good at keeping his serious demeanor, Suzue still noticed that something was off, with the tone of his voice for instance. It was very faint but Suzue was able to recognize things like this since she knew him so well. Still, she decided not to question him about it.

Daisuke entered his room and laid the pet carrier on the floor. Opening the zipper, the cat jumped out and rolled cozily on his bed. Daisuke held his phone and took a picture. He decided that he couldn't leave it by itself so he went downstairs to the storeroom where he took a litter box and filled it with old newspapers just in case.

After that he joined Suzue for lunch, they talked about Daisuke's photoshoot and Suzue's data she collected on certain people regarding a case. Daisuke told her that the magazine will be published in three weeks or so and Suzue was so happy she promised that she'll be the first costumer to buy it. Daisuke smiled more around Suzue after he let go of his past and threw his father into the jail. Now that all the bad things are behind him, he can finally indulge in his life and pay more attention to Suzue to whom he has yet to make up for all she has done for him over the years. He's thinking about marrying her soon.

While they were eating and pleasantly chatting, a high pitched "mrow" could be heard from the upper floor.

"What was that?" Daisuke let out a dry cough and said "My apologies. It seems that I needed to take a thicker coat before leaving for an appointment." "But.. you always pay attention to things like this." "It's true, but today I was a little late, had other things to do." "Don't overwork yourself, you need to think about your health." "Seems like you need to take better care of me.", he said with a smirk plastered on his lips to which Suzue just laughed and replied "You're so spoiled." and he scooted closer to her whispering "But I like it better when you do it.", and almost kissed her before the two heard a soft thud coming from the above.

"Excuse me for a moment, I need to check what's happening up there. Will be right back.", maybe the moment was ruined but he kissed her forehead nonetheless and went upstairs, leaving her full-hearted and all mushy inside. Her mind was so hazed from the thought of Daisuke kissing her forehead and almost kissing her lips that she didn't register the cause of his concern.

When he arrived to his room he had things to behold; scattered papers and documents all over the floor and the ashtray he typically used after his "adventurous nights with Suzue" was lying on the ground right next to the nightstand. The cat was sitting on his working table licking her paw as if nothing of this concerned her in the slightest. Daisuke sighed in disappointment and put her back in her "baby jail". She already gave him such a hard time but he couldn't be angry with her, she was his baby (yes he already considered himself a dad for god's sake).

Since they already finished with their meals, Suzue went back to her tech room to finish her work and Daisuke took the opportunity to place some meat and water on small plates and bring it to his naughty little friend.

The cat calmed down instantly after she ate and went straight to sleep. Daisuke couldn't believe his own eyes, the audacity, the sheer amount of spoilage this creature showed was unreal. It reminded him so much of himself and he smiled a little. He really missed having a cat.

After he cleaned up and finished his other tasks, he laid on the bed next to her and pet her soft white fur, making her purr louder and snuggle up beside him. Daisuke knows that Suzue is not stupid and that she'll eventually catch up on him sneaking behind her back to give Furry Elise treats (yes her name is Furry Elise, "Für Elise" might be one of Beethoven’s best-known piano pieces and Daisuke knows how to play it too).

And it actually happened that same night. Daisuke was about to fill her small plate with more meat when he met Suzue in the kitchen and she asked him what he was doing. He instantly gave up because it would be so blatantly obvious and incredibly stupid of him to say that he was trying out a new weight-losing tip when no one in this god-forsaken world ate raw chicken.

So he took her to his room and showed her Furry Elise. And although the cat purred really loudly upon seeing them, Suzue wasn't happy about it. In fact, she looked really disappointed and Daisuke needed to apologize. He explained her how it happened and how he wished to have a pet after a really long time. He thought she liked cats as well and therefore concluded that it wouldn't be such a big deal to adopt this cute little feline she loved so much, but apparently it was, so he asked her one more time why she was so reluctant to the whole idea of owning a cat again.

Suzue now shredded a couple of tears and Daisuke was seriously alarmed upon seeing her like this so he carefully cupped her with his hand behind her back and hugged her, asking why she was crying all of a sudden.

"It's just.. I don't want to go though this all over again." "What are you talking about?" "You see, my parents died, your parent died, our previous cat died so soon. I'm living in fear every day and asking myself if something's going to happen to you as well, that's why I'm so excessively worrying about you. And everything I need right now is another sweet creature that I love so much leaving us again. I don't think I'd be able to handle it anymore."

"Suzue.. I never thought..", Daisuke kissed her head and felt a big amount of guilt dawning on him. He was so selfish for only thinking about what made him happy without considering Suzue's emotions. But then he reclaimed his mind and tried to concentrate on saying the right thing. Hopefully he can make her feel better again.

"Suzue, my dear, you shouldn't limit yourself to things that make you happy. It's not healthy. You see, none of us is eternal; neither you, nor me, nor this kitten down there looking at you with so much love in her eyes. But for that very reason that none of us is eternal, we should dedicate our time to one another and make most of it. So please don't deny yourself or your feelings. Instead of dwelling on the sad things, we should concentrate more on our time spent together and be happy, okay?"

Even Daisuke didn't know how he managed to word it this nicely but he did and he realized that both of them were crying by now. They shared a passionate kiss but got interrupted by a small furball rubbing on their feet like it wanted to share a hug as well and Suzue smiled through tears.

She squatted and carefully took the cat in her hands. "What's her name?" "Furry Elise." Suzue now needed to laugh so much and she hadn't even recovered from her previous emotional outburst.

"I love it, you're really good at this.. it's.. the song you used to play for me all the time before you went studying overseas."

He looked at her with so much love and adoration at this exact moment.

"Know what? I think I'm falling for you all over again, Mr. Millionaire." Daisuke swore, his heart was full that night and no money could ever compare to this feeling.

@daisuzuship @innovativestruggles @narcopharmacist @unholysoggytea @riaymei @ieatcrumbs @cow-goes-oof @matchabucks @bluegleeful @levi-is-heicho @kakooshi @kokorokai @darknessrxse @fluffyyagiza @geniusmeemee @sungmnnnn @koalarin @alstroemerie @petiamaximoff38 @hellohellokookie @marialenikiforov

It's daisuzu stuff so I hope you enjoy. If you want me to delete your tag you're free to tell me. 👍

#fugou keiji balance unlimited #the millionaire detective balance unlimited #daisuke kambe #suzue kambe #daisuzu #daisuke x suzue #hc #scenario #fanfics #ideas #thoughs

[captainjanegay]

Where I’m Meant to Be | Stucky | Meet-Cute, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Kid Fic, No powers AU | Chapters 7/? | total 29k words | Ao3

Summary: Bucky is a single dad coming back from a work trip with a very bored, very whiney 7-year-old girl. A mysterious stranger with a kind heart and a notebook full of doodles comes to the rescue.

A/N: It's been... so long since I've updated this fic. I'm sorry but life got in the way and I couldn't bring myself to write anything. Here I come with apologies and hopes that you haven't forgotten about the adventures of Bucky, Alex and Steve. I'm gonna treat you with the longest chapter I've ever written (it's like 5.3k). I hope you'll like it, I got a bit carried away and my space-nerdiness is showing every now and then.

The chapters will probably come very irregularly from now on but I'll try my best not to have too long gaps between each update. I love you all and — as always — thank you so, so much for your continuous support. I cherish every single reader, every single like and every single comment you leave here :')

Chapter 7

(5.2k)

When Monday rolls around, Bucky faces New York’s chilly morning as he makes his way to work. It’s been only a few days since he got sick, but he feels significantly better now. His nose might still be stuffed and his throat might feel a bit scratchy, but he is mostly fine. No more coughing fits, no more fever. And it’s not like he could say no when his boss called him to check how he was doing and ask if he’d be able to come by before Christmas to do some required maintenance work.

But it’s fine, since the work at the Institute has slowed down, many people have already taken their days off for the Christmas break. It’s calmer than usual and Bucky can do whatever he’s supposed to do in peace.

It's a bit past noon and Bucky's mindlessly staring at the progress bar on his screen and enjoys his coffee. The peace and quiet — excluding his Christmas playlist playing in the background — is disturbed by the ringing of his phone. Slightly startled, Bucky looks around, searching for the device. After a quick glance at the screen, he answers the call.

"Hi, Buck!" Steve says, his voice soft and warm. "I hope I didn't wake you up or anything. Just wanted to check up on you, see how you're feeling."

"That's very sweet of you," Bucky says, his lips spreading in a smile. "And I'm fine, thank you. Currently waiting for the data backup to finish so you've disrupted my staring contest with the progress bar."

Steve doesn't appreciate the joke. Instead, he asks, "You're at work?" After receiving an affirmative hum, he lets out a slightly annoyed huff. "Why? You should still be in bed! Three days ago you've been barely able to get up for longer than 10 minutes. You should still rest, Buck."

"It's been six days ago, thank you very much," Bucky answers. "And I'm fine, Steve. I promise. I wouldn't come if I was still feeling sick, but the fever's been gone for a few days," two but Steve doesn't have to know that, "and I'm not coughing anymore. I'm as fit as a fiddle."

"I can hear you sniffle."

"It's the allergies," Bucky lies and that makes Steve laugh, although a bit exasperated.

"You're horrible," he says. "Bet you haven't even eaten breakfast or drink enough water or like... didn’t even wear a hat even though you’re sick."

"I did have a toast while I ran to catch the train. And now I'm having coffee for lunch. And it’s not even that cold."

An honest-to-God gasp escapes Steve's mouth after he hears that. Of course he's a Mr. Healthy Lifestyle, Bucky shouldn't even be surprised.

"How are you even functioning? You gotta take care of yourself, Buck."

Bucky's heart skips a bit. It's nice to have someone worry about him. Even if he's being dragged in the meantime. And it was nice when Steve took care of him and Alex back when Bucky was too sick to do this. Of course, he has people who do that. Clint, Tasha, Scott -- he can always count on them. But somehow it feels different with Steve. Steve hasn't been around for years like the others, he's known Bucky for just a few months and he still decided to offer his kindness and care. This thought made Bucky's heart do somersaults in his chest.

So did the fact that Steve had a nickname to Bucky's nickname. And he's been using it a lot. Bucky really likes it.

"I'm functioning very well, thank you. And so is Alex, because I'm not as hopeless in taking care of her, luckily," Bucky chuckles. Before Steve can't say anything, Bucky adds, "Besides, I've been able to survive 28 years like this so don't be overdramatic. No need to go all mother hen on me."

"Oh, you think this is overdramatic?" Steve asks, amused. "You clearly don't know what me being overdramatic is, pal. This is just some simple, friendly check-in."

"Okay, now I'm kinda curious," Bucky says. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much. "Hypothetically, what would one have to do to see what is Steve Rogers's definition of overdramatic?"

It makes Steve let out another laugh. "Careful what you wish for, Buck." It sounds like Steve wants to say something else but there's some noise in the background and his voice becomes distant and inaudible for a moment. When he comes back, he says with a sigh, "Sorry 'bout that. I need to go back to work. I'm glad you're feeling better but eat a proper meal or I'll hunt you down."

"Oh, so no mother hen anymore, were going straight to threats, okay." Bucky nods to himself and Steve huffs out a laugh. "Thanks for the call, Steve. It's very sweet of you. Have a nice day."

"You, too. Say hi to Alex from me."

"I will. Bye, Steve."

.

A small smile is still present on Bucky's face when a few hours later he's picking Alex up from school. It grows bigger when she runs towards him down the stairs, her haphazardly wrapped scarf fluttering behind her. He takes a moment to tuck it properly and then takes Alex's backpack from her.

“How was school today?” Bucky asks as they head home.

“Fine. We played soccer and I scored once!” Alex answers proudly. “Even Adrian didn’t and he’s very good. Maya didn’t want to play ‘cause she says girls shouldn’t play soccer.”

“Jokes on her, because we have a women’s national soccer team and they’re the best. They’re the world champions.”

A gasps escapes Alex’s mouth. “Really? That’s so cool! I want to be a soccer player when I grow up!”

“Not a ballerina, anymore?” Bucky asks, with a small smile.

“No, I’m gonna be a ballerina but I’m gonna play soccer sometimes, too. But that’s after I’ll fly to the moon!”

Bucky only nods and grins at her. He wouldn’t be surprised in the least if she actually pulled that off in the future. There weren’t many things that could stop her since she decided upon something.

“How’s space?” Alex asks, swinging their hands back and forth.

Bucky chuckles. It’s a bit of a tradition at this point. He doesn’t really remember how it started but now she never asks him “how’s work” but it’s always “how’s space?”. Personally, Bucky loves it. It makes him feel like he’s doing much cooler things that he really does.

“Pretty boring, sadly,” he admits. “Didn’t have much to do today and many people are on their breaks so no fun space facts to share today. I chatted on the phone with Steve and he wanted me to say hi to you.”

“Oh, is he coming over today?”

Slightly confused with the question, Bucky shakes his head. “No, he’s not. We just talked on the phone. Why?”

“I don’t know, I thought you liked Steve.”

“Well, I do. I like uncle Scott too but we don’t hang out with him every day, either. Steve has his own life and stuff to do, so we shouldn’t bother him all the time.”

Alex makes a small hum and Bucky’s not sure if it’s a dismissive or an agreeing one. After a moment, she adds, “I bet he wouldn’t mind though. He told me he really likes you.”

“What? When?” The revelation almost makes Bucky stop in the middle of the pavement. The biggest surprise is not that Steve likes him, Bucky has figured out this much after all those times they’ve hung out together. What really takes him aback is that apparently his daughter and Steve are having conversations about him when he’s not there.

“When you were sick and Steve went to ballet class with me. I told him he’s cool and I’m happy you have him so you’re not so lonely. And he said he thinks we’re really cool too and that he likes us a lot.”

This time Bucky slows down and eventually stops. There’s a furrow between his brows when he looks at Alex.

“Why would you think I’m lonely, munchkin? I’m not, I have you and mama, uncle Clint and Scott. And now Steve. I’m more than fine.”

“Well… Okay, maybe I didn’t mean lonely. But sometimes when you have a lot to do and you worry and mama or uncle Clint are busy you do this—” Alex furrows her brows and pouts, apparently imitating a worried Bucky “and you’re quiet and worried. And now you smile even more than you did. You smile all the time when you text Steve.”

For a moment, Bucky only gapes at her, not sure how to react. That’s a lot of information coming at once from his 7-year-old daughter.

“I’m— Well, I’m okay, even if I worry sometimes. And I couldn’t be lonely, having such a sweet little munchkin by my side,” he smiles, bopping her on the nose and getting a smile in return. “But thank you for caring about me, sweetheart. I love you to the moon and back.”

“And I love you to Jupiter!” she answers.

“But not back?” Bucky raises an eyebrow.

“Nah, it’s already so far away, it’s enough.”

The conversation with Alex stays in Bucky’s head for the rest of the day. It’s gnawing at him enough that before he goes to bed, he takes out his phone and calls Natasha.

“How’s my favourite co-parent doing?” she greets.

“Do you have any more co-parents?” Bucky asks instead of answering.

“Nope. That’s what makes you my favourite.” Bucky only sighs so she continues. “Did something happen? You’re usually in the mood for late night conversation when something’s on your mind.”

There’s no point in denying it since Natasha would see right through him. “It’s nothing bad. Apparently Alex thinks I’m lonely.”

“Well, she’s not wrong.”

“What? Tasha, no. I’m not lonely, where did you two get that idea?”

“James, it’s not my fault that you’re an idiot. I know that you have people who love you around. You know that, too. But I know and you also should know — but here’s the ‘idiot’ part — that it might not be enough sometimes. And I’m pretty sure we’ve had a similar conversation like a month ago, so I don’t know why you act all surprised now.”

“Remind me, why did I even call you?”

“Because I am incredible and you value my opinion like no one else’s and also you love me deeply,” Natasha explains dutifully. 

Bucky huffs out a laugh as he sits heavily on the side of his bed. His eyes land on the comic from Steve, still laying on Bucky’s bedside table, propped against the lamp. “Sounds fake, but okay.”

“Did our daughter have any more revelations for you?” Natasha asks.

“Well…,” Bucky hesitates for a moment. “She and Steve gossip about me when I’m not around. And apparently I’ve been smiling more lately. But that’s about it.” 

Natasha hums but even through the phone Bucky can hear that she’s rather amused. 

"What?" Bucky asks.

"I didn't say anything!"

"I can hear you laughing, just say whatever mean thing you're going to say and let's get this over with."

"I'm not gonna say anything mean! I was just wondering when we'd mention Steve in this conversation," she chuckles. "But really. Even your daughter can see that a relationship would be good for you. And that you like Steve a lot. Why not kill two birds with one Steve?"

Bucky sighs. "Because one Steve is also enough to kill this friendship we have."

"Why do you always just automatically assume that things will get fucked? It doesn't have to be the case. I'm serious, you'd better take a grip on yourself and ask him out or I'm back in three days and I'll do this for you. And I'll be as obnoxious and embarrassing for you as I can."

That's actually a pretty horrible threat. She would do that. And it would be both mortifying and horrible to experience for all the involved parties — maybe except Natasha. Bucky laughs, trying to imagine it, but the laugh is short-lived.

"Come on, Nat," Bucky starts after a moment, getting serious. "Steve is great and it's great having him around. But what if I make a move and he's not interested? I don't want to freak him out. Or remember that message I accidentally saw on his computer? He might be seeing someone already or be interested in someone else," Bucky pinches the bridge of his nose. "Plus, I know from experience that no matter how much he might seem to like me, a guy with a kid can turn out to be a bit much for people. I don't want to get hurt. I don't want Alex to get hurt. She adores Steve and I don't know if I can risk it."

"But I'm telling you, nobody's getting hurt anytime soon," Natasha chimes in. "You're overthinking, Yasha. Those are all valid concerns but you know what the counterargument is?" She takes a small break but she's not expecting Bucky to respond. "Steve's a good guy. He likes you. He likes Alex. He came to a primary school dance recital after knowing you for like a week just because you and Alex asked him to. Even if he doesn't want a relationship, it doesn’t mean that your friendship has to end. From all you've told me, he doesn't seem like the kind to trample on your hearts like this. Give yourself some time, but promise me you're gonna think about it, okay? And call me if you work yourself up into an anxious mess again, okay?”

“I will try not to be an anxious mess, but I’ll let you know. And I’ll think about it. Thanks, Tasha.” Bucky says.

“I love you no matter what, you dumbfuck. Bye.”

Bucky barely manages to say it back before she hangs up. He shakes his head with a small smile and retrieves his charger cable from behind the bedside table. As he plugs his phone, he accidentally knocks down the drawing from Steve. He picks it up, staring at the soft lines for who-knows-which time. His thumb gently traces the “Get well soon, Buck! x” scribbled at the bottom.

Looking at it, Bucky imagines the moment when Steve was writing it down. In his mind, he sees both Steve and Alexandra at the kitchen table, both leaning over their respective pieces of paper, focused on whatever they’re drawing. They are smiling, chatting about whatever common interest they’ve currently discovered. It’s a very nice picture. Enough to make Bucky’s heart ache.

Because Natasha is right. This is exactly what Bucky craves and what he’s been ignoring for years. That domesticity, that warm feeling one gets when looking at someone they care about. That happiness. He can almost imagine himself joining the picture he’s created in his head, walking over to that table and dropping a kiss first on Alex’s head and then on Steve’s, before he starts preparing the dinner. It feels right. 

Maybe it’s not usual to imagine this calm, family life with someone he’s not even in a relationship with. Most people probably think of tons of other things, things that are not so… settled. Not as serious. Sometimes they never reach this part. But Bucky has figured a while ago that it doesn’t really work for him. He already has a family. And this family means everything and more to him. If he ever was to date, he has to make sure that the person would fit into his and Alexandra’s life. He has to skip ahead to make sure it’s worth going through the dates and the passion and all the work a relationship requires, without it all ending in a heartbreak. But Steve… 

Steve fits so well into this picture, it scares Bucky a bit. Because this would be even harder to let go, if things didn't work out.

It's pretty clear, now that he allows himself to think about it, that he has some feelings for Steve. Besides the friendliness and sympathy, that is. They're the romantic kind and they're still fresh and shy but they're here. And Bucky has absolutely no clue how to deal with them. It's not even that surprising, he realises. Because how could he not catch feelings for Steve? For the kindest, most thoughtful and most selfless person in the world? For someone with his heart made of gold, who always knows how to make Bucky laugh? Someone who gets so passionate about the things he loves and just as much about the ones he despises? Who cares deeply, laughs with his whole body and who next to all this softness and kindness, is also a stubborn little asshole? Who — and this is the most important of all — adores Alex and whom she adores just as much?

Bucky's heart was a lost cause from the start.

Steve has a lot of qualities that Bucky would fall for if he looked for a partner. And that he accidentally might have fallen for anyway. And that's all without even mentioning that Steve is so ridiculously attractive that it might've skewed Bucky's view on beauty forever. 

The point is — Natasha is right. That this could be a good thing. They could be a good thing. But what they have now is already good and Bucky really values this friendship. He isn't sure if pursuing a hypothetical picture in his head is worth putting it at risk. Because he still can't be sure if Steve's interested. For what Bucky knows, he's kind and caring towards all of his friends. It doesn't mean that Bucky and Alex are special. 

He can almost hear Natasha's voice in his head, calling him an idiot and yelling that he won't know until he tries. Which is right, since Natasha always is. It doesn't help him stop the — partially excited but mostly terrified — somersaults his insides make. With a small sigh, he puts the drawing on its place by the lamp, flicks off the lights and burrows himself under the covers. He doesn't have to have everything figured out straight away. Letting himself even consider it is a big enough step for now, he decides as he drifts off to sleep.

.

The next day is Bucky's last day at work before the Christmas break. He doesn't really have much to do, just finishing some last updates and dealing with whatever paperwork he was putting off earlier. Most of the time, he chats with Scott, who has been wandering aimlessly around the institute for the lack of work and eventually landed in Bucky's tiny office. They've been chatting about their Christmas plans — nothing too elaborate for both of them, just simple time at home with their families — and now they started discussing where they should go to grab some lunch. Just as Bucky almost convinced Scott that they should go to this sushi place down the block instead of the Italian place, there's a knock on the door.

Bucky sends his friend a confused look.

"It wasn't me," Scott raises his hands in defence.

"Come in," Bucky calls after another second passes. It's probably someone having a last-minute computer problem or one of his co-workers wanting to drop by with Christmas wishes.

Except, when the door cracks open, Steve's head pokes in. Its hair is messy, its cheeks reddened from the cold and its lips spread in a smile.

"Hi, Buck. And hi Scott, it's nice to see you again," he says. "I'm not interrupting?"

And because Bucky's brain is still processing the fact that for some reason Steve's come to visit him at work, Scott's the one who says, "Not at all, come in."

Steve hesitates for another second. Bucky's brain finally kicks in and he smiles which is apparently the invitation Steve needed, because he finally fully walks into the office.

"Hi, Steve. I didn't expect you here," Bucky says, his smile growing bigger.

"Well, you should. Because after our talk yesterday, I decided to bring you lunch," Steve says, proudly showing a big paper bag in his hand. "I told you you haven't seen shit, and especially not overdramatic me."

This makes Bucky laugh out loud as he shakes his head in disbelief. How is Steve even real?

Scott is watching them with a slightly confused but endeared smile on his face. Before anyone can say anything, he gets up from the chair, slapping his thighs as he does.

"Okay then, I'll leave you to it," he says, walking towards the door.

"There's plenty to share, if you want to join us," Steve offers, because of course he does. His gold-heartedness wouldn't have it any other way.

But Scott only shakes his head at that. "Nah, I'm in the mood for some sushi today. Thanks, though."

"Asshole," Bucky narrows his eyes at Scott. "I hope you'd choke on it."

His friend only laughs at that, "Enjoy your lunch date! It's been great to see you, Steve. Merry Christmas."

"You too, Scott. Say hi to Hope and Cassie from me."

With one last grin aimed at Bucky — and a very pointed look behind Steve's back — Scott leaves them alone. Bucky tries not to dwell on the fact that Steve didn't even bat an eye when Scott called it a lunch date.

"Why should he choke?" Steve asks with a chuckle.

"I've been trying to talk him into going to that sushi place for almost twenty minutes before you came," Bucky sighs and then notices that Steve is still hovering by the door. "Come on, take your coat off and sit down. I can't believe you've brought me lunch."

Steve shrugs off his coat and leaves it on the hanger by the door, next to Bucky's. Today he's wearing a maroon sweater that really suits him and a pair of dark jeans. He pushes his sleeves up before he digs into the bag and Bucky tries not to stare too obviously.

"Someone's got to make sure you eat, since after yesterday I've gotten an idea you're not good at it yourself," Steve says. "Guess it wasn't necessary. Sadly, I don't have sushi but maybe you're in the mood for Thai?"

"Depends on whether you've brought me the dumplings or not," Bucky answers.

Steve laughs in response and takes out one of the boxes and hands it to Bucky. "I did. I also have green curry for you? I hope I remembered correctly that you like it? If not, I'm sorry, we can switch—"

"Steve." Bucky says solemnly, placing his hand on Steve's forearm, to stop him from fumbling with the food. "You not only brought me food but you remembered my favourite after I mentioned it one time. You are an angel. You should hide it better, because you make us mortals look bad."

He's only half joking. Steve does seem like a higher being of some sorts and it's unfair that Bucky's poor heart is supposed to handle it. It doesn't do a great job. Especially not when Steve laughs, his eyes crinkle so much they turn into thin slits.

"And I am the overdramatic one?" Steve asks, unpacking the last things and finally sitting on the chair across from Bucky. He's still smiling but there's a blush colouring his cheeks and creeping down his neck.

Bucky bites the inside of his cheek to contain a grin but the truth is, he's immensely proud of himself for pulling this reaction out of Steve. To stop himself from saying something stupid, he digs into his food.

"By the way, how did you find me here?" Bucky asks, his tongue sticking out a bit in concentration as he fishes for a dumpling with his chopsticks. 

"Clara let me know where your office is, she was very helpful."

Bucky furrows his brows. The surprise makes him drop his dumpling back into the container. "Clara, as in Clara Oswald, our receptionist? How do you know her?"

"I don't. We've chatted for a few minutes and I explained why I'm here and she told me how to get to you."

"Ah, of course it took you about five minutes to charm her and get into a government building just like that," Bucky chuckles.

"I didn't charm anyone! I just politely asked and she helped!"

If it wasn't Steve, Bucky would take it as fake modesty. But the truth is that Steve really seems to be completely oblivious to the effect he has on people. It’s endearing to see him do this.

"So here's when you do your cool space stuff?" Steve asks, changing the subject.

"Here's when the real scientists come searching for help when there's some IT-related issue," Bucky corrects him. "I don't do anything cool. I make sure all the data is where it's supposed to be and that whatever equipment they need is ready and working properly. Or part of it, Scott's an engineer and he takes care of the rest. I do get to read some space facts first hand, though."

"That's still cool space stuff for me," Steve shrugs with a small smile. "What kinds of things are you researching here? Like some particular aspects of outer space, or—?"

Normally Bucky would just give the shortest answer possible. People usually get bored quickly when he starts talking about it. But something in the genuine interest on Steve's face, the way he is looking around the office — which is nothing special, the only nice things are the sky maps and some spaced themed art  — makes Bucky think that maybe Steve wouldn't mind getting the longer answer.

"Well, we mostly study the weather. Both the Earth's and the one in the solar system, like the solar winds and magnetic storms, stuff like that. We study exoplanets and try to discover or guess as much as we can about them," Bucky says. "I helped to create simulations that predicted how they could look like and develop, to see if there's a possibility to inhabit them. We did it by basically dumping all the data we have into an elaborate computer programme and waiting to see what comes out." Bucky laughs and Steve does too, but he has the look of utter fascination on his face as he listens. "And all this helps with some more down-to-earth stuff — pun not intended. Like, we've done tons of studies in climate change."

"That's—," Steve starts when he makes sure that Bucky's done. "All of this sounds incredible. And you're a part of all those amazing things, how great is that?"

Bucky feels that his cheeks start to burn. There's another reason he usually sticks with the short answer. As much as he's proud to be working here and as much as he loves it, the impostor in him always makes sure that he understands the difference between his work and the actual research, analysis and all the heavy lifting that the astronomers do. He helps, of course he does. He does a great job at it, but there's still a difference. And such praise usually makes him squirm uncomfortably.

"And don't even try to get all modest with me again," Steve warns as if he's been reading Bucky's mind. "You've said that you don't do cool space stuff and then admitted that you've helped to create a program to imagine how exoplanets can look and change. So I know you're full of bullshit."

Steve raises an eyebrow in what's supposed to be an unimpressed look but it's not even close. The smile and the curious, bright eyes that are stating right at Bucky are destroying the effect. The blush on Bucky's cheeks only deepens, especially as Steve adds. "I've been impressed before but— Wow. Really, you guys are doing such incredible things here, I can’t wrap my head around it."

"We really do," Bucky agrees, eventually.

The beaming smile Steve sends him feels like a reward Bucky didn't know he deserves.

"So you've always liked space? Or was it an accident that brought you here?" Steve asks.

"No, I've always loved it. It's just so fascinating and there's always so much more to learn about it," Bucky doesn't even try to hide his excitement. "I've never fully understood all the science behind it but I loved staring at the sky, trying to find all those constellations and planets and galaxies. I've figured a way to somehow connect it to what I was good at and make it my job. Which is amazing. But now I mostly stare at the computer screen instead of the stars. "

He doesn't want to sound ungrateful but he must admit that it does kill some of the fun. But not even the astronomers simply state up at the sky to admire the view.

Steve only nods in response. "Alex mentioned that you guys went on a trip out of town to watch the stars. It must've been great."

"We did! It was like… almost 2 years ago, I think? I borrowed one of those fancy telescopes they have here. I needed to pick Alex up every time, cause she was too small to reach it," Bucky laughs as he brings out the memories. "It was fun, we should do that again, sometime. But I don't have much time now, so it’ll have to wait."

"It does sound great," Steve smiles that soft smile again. "I hope you'd find some time as it gets warm enough for such trips. I bet Alex would be delighted."

"Yeah. I'll let you know if that happens, in case you'd like to join," Bucky says before he can think better of it.

There's more of the childlike excitement on Steve's face as Bucky mentions it so maybe it wasn't that bad of an idea.

An actual bad idea comes out of Bucky's mouth a bit later, just as Steve is getting ready to head out. Bucky's lunch break is long gone and forgotten, because it's been two hours that Steve spent here. He apologises for staying so long and the assurances that Bucky didn't have any more work to do doesn't help.

"I'm sorry for taking your mind away from your responsibilities, but it was great spending time with you," Steve says.

So of course, because Bucky's heart doesn't get any chance to regroup, he doesn't have time to think before he blurts out. "We should have dinner together."

It's certainly not something Steve was expecting to hear. He just stares at Bucky. Before he has a chance to say anything, Bucky continues, "I mean. You should come for dinner. Clint and Nat are always around for a dinner, sometime between Christmas and New Year's. If you don't have any plans, it would be great if you came. But it's okay if you can't or don't want to."

Another moment passes and Bucky tries not to squirm under Steve's gaze. Luckily, Steve finally blinks and smiles as he says, "No, Buck, of course I'd love to come! I don't have any particular plans, will probably hang out with Sam for most of the break but I'll have plenty of time."

"You could take Sam with you," Bucky adds. He desperately tries to regain the control of his own mouth. "It'd be great to finally meet him."

"I'll let him know, I bet he’d be happy to come, too. Thanks again for the invite," Steve smiles as he cracks open the door. With a little wave, he walks out of the office. "Bye, Buck. Have a nice day."

"You too, Steve," Bucky says to the already closing door.

When Steve's gone, Bucky exhales heavily through his mouth as he leans back in his chair. Both of his hands go up to thread through his hair, tugging at it lightly.

Apparently, he has a dinner to prepare.

taglist: @steverrogers​ @till-the-end-of-the-line-punk​ @buckyshappyending

#where i'm meant to be #stucky #stevebucky #stucky fic #stevebucky fic #stevebucky fanfiction #stucky fanfitction #chapter 7 #my wrtiting #wimtb #sorry it took me so long! #i really hope you'll like it :')

[mytwistedhome]

Pomefiore and Ignihyde when they find out you have Anorexia

Trigger warning to anyone who suffers with an eating disorder!!

I decided to write these headcanons because I've been having a really tough two weeks, and thinking of the twst boys makes me happy...

I hope this can maybe bring comfort to someone else, or at least provide some bit of entertainment. My intention is not to cause harm or trigger anyone. That is the last thing I want.

Other dorms will be coming as well! I already started working on all of them, but I just haven’t finished them. They will most likely be posted the next time I have a bad day //

One more quick thing: I will be posting requests this week! I’ve already broken several promises that I made in regards to the time I’d post, and I feel horribly guilty. I’m sorry for the wait. I know I shouldn’t tell you to expect something on a certain day and then delay it for weeks. I should be honest about my efficiency, and I am sorry.

I'm also sorry for not responding to message (this applies to all my blogs...) I see them, but then forget about them, and then cower away because I feel like I'm already too late. I hope this little apology is enough to suffice... I'll apologize properly to every person when I find the courage. I know I shouldn't be doing this to people who've been kind to me just because I feel unwell. Please know that I am very sorry, and I'm trying to be more responsible and less careless to those around me.

💜

Vil Shoenheit

So that's why your skin is so dry and you have bags under your eyes

He scolds you at first. He believes that you’re starving to get a good figure, and he tries to inform you that doing so is unhealthy and that being malnourished actually makes a person quite ugly.

As if you haven’t already heard all this before

You try to tell him that you’re not doing this to look good. At least, not anymore. Sure, it started out as a way to lose weight, but it soon became an obsession much more meaningful than beauty or weight-loss.

He doesn’t understand. Why would you deliberately hurt yourself like that? Especially when you’re aware of all these negative outcomes?

Nevertheless, he is still very worried about you

He wouldn't normally concern himself with such a personal problem, but he would feel so guilty if he just stood back and watched you whither away

So, he does, indeed, go out of his way to try and help you

He finds a psychology book about eating disorders in the library, and he reads it in its entirety

He is... quite disturbed. He never imagined that you could be suffering so badly.

He's smart enough to realize that he, himself, can't do anything to make you better

He encourages you to seek professional help, and he even searches for phone numbers you can call and therapists/counselors close by of whom you can see

You are really touched by his efforts to find help, and you promise him that you will see one of the counselors he recommended

But... several weeks go by, and you haven't done anything

Vil grows furious. Don’t you want help!?

He takes your lack of seeking help rather personally... He went out of his way to provide with the things he felt that you really needed. Don’t you appreciate that? Don’t you care about yourself? What more do you want him to do?

You try to tell him that you don’t want him to do anything, that you’ll find help when you’re ready--

Vil isn’t buying that

What does “ready” mean, anyways? When you’re already in the grave?

He’s a bit harsh on you... He points out the patches of dry skin along your neck and chest, the way the hairs of your arms always stand on end from goosebumps, the metallic taste in your mouth...

Are you happy with those things? Do you really want to live this way?

You try and try to explain to him that it’s hard to get help and go back to eating normally

It spirals into an argument...

Vil is done with this. He did what he could and got you the resources you need to begin recovery. Once you decide to get help, he will be there for you. He will be there whenever you reach out for support, comfort, or care. But, until then, don’t talk to him about it. Don’t complain about your misery until you have sought proper help. It’s your fault at this point, isn’t it?

Rook Hunt

He had noticed that you were very quickly losing a lot of weight

He was concerned, but he never imagined that the problem could be something so serious

You're actually surprised with just how much he's concerned. You thought that if there was anyone to romanticize such a disease, it would be him

But he seems to know more than you thought about such disorders

He begs you to get professional help, and he is quite a bit more pushy and earnest than Vil is...

You try to explain to him that no doctor or therapist could ever help unless you were READY and WANTED to be helped

Well, he doesn't understand why you don't want help

He's pushing and pushing you... begging you to seek a professional

You get so frustrated that you turn and leave. He just doesn't understand!

And now Rook is even more distressed. How will he ever get through to you? How can he ever help you?

Now, every time he sees you, he looks at you with such sorrow

He sadly remarks upon how your beauty is fading... and how he fears that your life may be fading as well

Your heart aches to hear such sincere worry... Your chest feels tighter than it normally does as you crumble with guilt

You promise yourself you'll get better... Just so you won't have to see Rook with a horribly sad expression whenever he passes you

You start eating more in front of him to ease his worry, which does work a little bit

You add about 400 more calories to your usual intake--enough so that your "recovery" becomes visible through the way you bounce with energy

But you stay up late at night, running laps and doing situps to burn off some of that intake

And you keep losing weight

In fact, it's worse now because your body is aching from the unfamiliar intake and exercise...

Well, at least you look better

At least you have Rook fooled

Or so you think. It'll only be a matter of weeks before he catches onto your schemes and grows so distressed once again

He tries to sit you down and have a talk with you... He just really wants you to get help

Epel Felmier

Poor Epel finds out after he witnesses you collapsing in the middle of the hallway when no one else is around

He panics and rushes to your side, trying to see what is wrong and how he can help you

You blacked out for several seconds, which is why you collapsed, but even though you have your vision back, everything is still very cloudy and you are too weak to stand up

This makes Epel panic even more

You try to calm him down, despite your weakness

"it's okay, Epel...! Just get me something to eat. Please, I need something to eat. Hurry!"

He is a bit confused, but he does what you say, and he rushes off to find you some food

While he is gone, you try to stand, but to no avail. Your stomach aches with hunger and you are cold all over. Your body just feels so miserable

He rushes back to you with an apple and places his hands on your shoulders in concern as you quickly eat it down

That apple... It's the best thing you've ever tasted, but it's gone too quickly, and your mouth waters for more as the last bites slide down your throat

Although it was small, it still gives your body such a blissful burst of energy. All your senses are ignited now that you have finally eaten something after such a long fast, and your head is hurting far less

You stand up and smile at Epel, thanking him graciously before turning to leave

Uuuhhhhh.... What was that?

You suddenly collapse on the ground and then are all better after eating a simple apple?

No way is Epel going to let you go just like that. He holds you back, demanding an explanation, for it surely seems you know quite a bit about this bizarre thing that just happened

You try to tell him it's nothing, just a strange thing that happened this one time

Well, then, how did you know how to fix it by eating something?

You quickly lie and tell him you get dizzy sometimes and fall due to low blood sugar

Well, now your story is inconsistent

He presses you for the truth, growing rather angry

His harsh tone begins to scare you, and you tell him... You tell him that, sometimes, you go days without eating, and it of course causes you to grow so weary that you faint

You watch as all the frustration quickly rushes away from Epel's face, leaving his eyes wide and mouth hanging open in shock

"That... That's really unhealthy..."

Oh, great. Not this speech again

But, it actually isn't a lecture about how this is such a "dangerous diet"

Instead, Epel pours out all his concern with a sad look upon his face

He knows that he can't do much, but he assures you that you can come to him if ever things become too tough to handle

You're touched by his offer, and you thank him for his understanding

But, now, everytime he's around, he watches you with care to see if you're doing alright and to make sure you don't fall over again

You hadn't expected him to worry this much...

If Epel ever thinks that things are getting out of hand, he will likely go behind your back to someone who can help for your sake

💙

Idia Shroud

He really wishes that he hadn't found out because now he can't stop worrying

This is the kind of thing that would just be easier to ignore and shut away from his mind

But how could he possibly ignore something as serious as this?

He keeps telling himself that this isn't supposed to be his issue

But... It is his issue, isn't it? If you ended up dying and he knew all along about your suffering yet did nothing to help, than that would mean that he aided in your death, right?

He's really starting to panic. He doesn't what you dead. Not at all

But... What is he supposed to do???

He calms himself down and tries to think

Perhaps if he built you a mechanical body that didn't need food this whole thing would seize to be a problem...

No, bad idea

Well, that will be his last resort if nothing else works...

He messages you and tries to plead with you to please just eat and take care of yourself...

You message back, explaining to him that it really isn't that simple

He decides to ask why you're doing this, and he tries to show through his words how much he really cares

You feel comfortable enough in telling him some of the reasons why you think you started, and why it's now so hard to stop and all you want is to continue with it...

Idia is happy that you were able to open up to him this much, but what is he really supposed to do with this information? He's no therapist...

Well, being vulnerable with you emotions and talking about the problem is at least one step in the right direction, isn't it?

Idia continues to try to be a source of comfort for you, while also encouraging you to seek proper help

Ortho Shroud

Oh, no... He can’t help you with this, can he?

Why can’t he help you? Why won’t you get better?

Surely nii-san programmed him with something that could help you...

Right...?

RIGHT!?

Why aren’t you better?

Why are you doing this to yourself!?

Ortho is a mess... so distressed. He can’t understand--he doesn’t have the capacity to understand such a disorder, and he is so frustrated that nothing he does is helping!

And he does everything

He exhausts himself trying to “fix your mind”

His eyes are wide, yellow irises shaking with misery

Knowing that you are willingly hurting yourself actually traumatizes him...

He can't wrap his head around such an awful mental illness. To him, it looks as though you're really trying to harm, hurt, and even kill yourself by your own accord

Something must be wrong with your brain, but he just doesn't know what!

The poor child is so upset. He's panicked and worried sick

And now you feel even worse

Sorry for ending on such a horrible note... I was originally going to have all the dorms, so Diasomnia would’ve come and saved the day, but I just didn’t finish them.

#tw eating things #tw eating mention #tw eating stuff #tw eating disorder #anorexia tw #tw anorexia #anorexia mention #twistedwonderland #twisted wonderland #twst #twst headcanons #twisted wonderland headcanons #headcanons #my headcanons #pomefiore #ignihyde #vil shoenheit #rook hunt #epel felmier #idia shroud #ortho shroud #this is hilarious timing because i was discussing how i think that Riddle has anorexia this morning on one of my other blogs afksbj #i guess you can tell what state if mind I'm in huh #it's okay though!! I'm getting better

[alfouxxiv]

Layers to a Damned Man

one: outside layer

[Name:] “Alfoux...Rovat”

[Hair Style & colour:] “It’s hazel maybe more brown? I don't really know. when I was young...I used to have short hair. But as I grew older, it has become rather long. I keep it tied back when the need for a helmet arises.”

[Eye Color:] “Amber from what I’ve told, though. I assume it could be taken as any colour of that nature.”

[Height:] “I’m tall, I tower over most and very few tower over me. It is a blessing and a curse.”

[Style:] “I’m not one for style and trends but. I was raised to be fancy. To know the right fork to use and to say please and thank you, and it stuck. But I’m far from the term ‘fancy’ as many have said to me countless times before, I am rough around the edges. What else are you going to get, when you take a brume kid out of the brume and into the lap of the houses upon high.”

“I am rough, jaded and scared. I have seen what this world has to give and it has laid its mark to bare upon me. So yes, I am rough around the edges. I’m abrasive, cold in nature. So my style if you must put a thing to it, tends to lean towards such. I own nothing other than my armour on my back, everything that had ‘style’ was stripped from me.”

[Best Physical Feature:] “My hands or eyes, it is one thing many compliment me on. I have no idea what they mean however. Some have also said my jaw line is a nice feature, or my chest... Though those who say my chest is my best feature, are more likely saying that to further their motives of romantic intent which is not something I’m looking for.”

“I myself don't see a best feature, nor even a good feature. It is just a body, or maybe I just don't have the best confidence in myself hm?”

two: inner layer

[Fears:] “All of my fears have come to fruition. All I ever wanted was a home, and not have it stripped from me. But here we are, my life was a lie and those who said they loved me? a lie.” 

[Guilty Pleasure:] “The things I enjoy, though very few they are. I do not find guilt in them. I enjoy reading bad romance novels...and I enjoy them, and there is no shame in that.”

[Biggest Pet Peeve:] “People, speaking of those who believe that our great nation is in fact great, because it is far from it. Our land is flawed and blinded by lies, feed to them from who was once in control. Our world is changing and those who do change with it? well, they will be left in the dust of those willing to move for a brighter future....if that is even something we can come to.”

[Ambition for the Future:] “In the long term I guess it would be to fix the mess my ‘family’ made, in the short term? I wish to die. So we will see which comes first.”

three: thoughts

[First Thought When Waking Up:] “Oh grand I am still alive, oh what a fantastic thing to happen.”

[What You Think About the Most:] “Money I guess, I don't have a single gil to my name. So it tends to be about money or when the next job will come by.”

[What You Think About Before Bed:] “I’m either to drunk off my ass to even think, or if I’m not its thinking of another night were I don't sleep.”

[Your Best Quality Is:] “I have no idea, I am a man of very little good qualities. I am sure someone would say otherwise but as this is me talking? I have none.”

four: what’s better

[Single or Group Dates?] “I have never been on a date, I never had the time for such things or ever felt a bond with someone, to ever do such a thing.”

[To be Loved or to be Respected?] “In my heart, it cries out for love? and my mind pains for respect. In days gone by I used to think I had both, but now I know that ‘love’ was a lie. And that ‘respect’? fear. So truly? I have no idea what is better, for I truthfully know what those feel like.”

[Beauty or Brains?] “I am more inclined to lean towards brains. Not saying that beauty isn't a bad thing, because it isn't. I am just more inclined to drift towards those who are, of a more intelligent inclination...though I'm not saying those who are beautiful cant be smart because they can be. They are I....yeah...”

[Cats or Dogs?] “Cats, I have had the pleasure of living with many in my younger years. All thanks to a certain templar. Though I do preferer cats over dogs, that doesn’t mean I don't like dogs. I just enjoy the company of cats more.” 

four: do you...

[Lie?] “My job was to lie, to preach a lie and to enact a lie. So yes I have lied. Do I still lie? truthfully it is to myself nearly on a daily basis but to others I try to be more. Up front.” 

[Believe in Yourself?] “In days gone by yes, I believed I could do nearly anything, within reason. But now? no...”

[Believe in Love?] “No, not anymore.”

[Want Someone?] “I want to be left alone, yet for some reason people keep bothering me. So no. I don't want anyone.”

six: have you ever...

[Been on Stage?] “I have not, though I have watched many a play when I was younger. They were rather enjoyable at the time. But I had no intention of joining them.”

[Done Drugs?] “I have not no, unless you count smoking as a drug? though it is just tabaco.”

[Changed Yourself to Fit In Somewhere?] “Amusing. I’m a brume kid living a house upon high, so what do you think?”

seven: favorite

[Favorite Color:] “I have never really given it much thought. Though my armours have always been on the darker side, I did have a blue set for ceremonies or other such special occasions. So maybe blue? again I have never given it much thought...”

[Favorite Food:] “When I was younger Otix used to make these cream cheese and liver sandwiches, which I thoroughly enjoyed. I still do enjoy them, though now that I’m older I can make them myself. Other than that? I don't really have a preference.”

[Favorite Game:] “I never had the time for games growing up, with education, sword training and fencing and other duties. I never had much free time, so whenever I rarely did have time to myself I just read a book.”

eight: age

[When Your Next Birthday Will Be:] “I cant remember for the life of me when my name day is, and to be honest at my age I could careless for the day.”

[How Old Will You Be?] “I think I’m 36? or am I older? I cant remember.”

[Age You Lost Your Virginity:] “who cares, it is not something I wish to divulge to anyone.”

[Does Age Matter?] “I wouldn’t wish to see someone that hasn't even seen their 12th summer in a combat situation if that's what you mean. I have seen many younger people die under the hands, of people who were no where near the front of battle. But if you’re referring to someone younger dating someone older? well that all depends does it not? if it is someone far older praying on someone who shouldn't even be thinking of such a thing, then well that person will happily meet the end of my sword.”

nine: in a partner

[Best Personality:] “Someone who is kind I assume, I haven’t given it much thought seeing as, I have never met someone who I have grown a connection of that type with.”

[Best Eye Colour:] “Does it really matter? Are there really people out there who specifically court those with a specific eye colour.....”

[Best Hair Colour:] “It’s hair who cares, doesn't matter what colour is it.”

[Best Thing to do With a Partner:] “Again, I have never given thoughts like these much time. Maybe that is very telling of my nature. But if I must pick something, than maybe...maybe it would be nice to cook with someone. Maybe even quietly read with them, or go fishing...”

ten: finish the sentence

[I Love...] “To be. Left. Alone.”

[I Feel...] “Empty...”

[I Hide...] “Everything. I am not want to show my hand at the first or even second meeting.”

[I Miss...] “...”

[I Wish...] “I wish I was never adopted, to be left to have that life grow into something that wasn't built on a lie and cursed to live...”

Tagged by: @yafaemi thank you fren so it took so long!!!

Tagging: @ffxivtribehydrae | @kich-rp | @grumpy-limsan-customs-cat | @zinniane | @m-iasma​ | @bjarkan​ | @wilderkind​ | @faustinebellamy | @aethersmoke-and-ash ​ | @violetcuriosity​ | @lady-iseterre​ | And anyone else who wants to do it!!

#Alfoux Rovat #Alfoux | Ic #character meme #I hand you one grumpy broody asshole who just wants to be left alone (don't do that he actually likes people being around) #this took me most of the night to do but still feeling kinda productive!! #so maybe more to come in the future for this blog or the others?!?!

[texasthegreatdestroyer]

OC x Canon ship excerpt. Trinity x Qrow.

The winter's draft nipped at her legs as she walked through the door of Brunswick Estate. Probably would have done her well to wear some proper leggings, or just pants in general, but after her time in vale, during those cold winters, she couldn't find it within her to really care. Her main concern was just past the door of the bar and entertainment room. Where she knew she'd find him sipping down whatever his cold, shaken hands could grasp at.

She opened the old, wooden door, tiptoed past the threshhold, as if to be weary to not set the dusty bird's nerves off more than they already were. The past two days had been... rough for him, and upon gazing at those beautiful eyes, a gut drenching sadness made themselves at home deep within. Trinity's plans to lay low in his presense failed however. "What do you want?" He sapped. "Look, I know you want to get all "touchy and feely" but I'm not in the mood, got it? Just leave me be." A lump was stuck in her throat as she tried to speak out. It was hard for her to breath. This man knew how to stab a girl's heart into the ground.

"... I wanted to apologize... for trying to force you to talk. I should have just given you your space... I just so badly wanted to save you... like you did me. I guess I'm not as good at emotional support as you are...." Qrow couldn't help but stare at her. Silence remained between the two, but just as Trinity turned to leave, Qrow poured another shot and slid it off to the side of him, leaving him with nothing but the bottle. Not like this was anything harmful to him. He lacked the class to avoid drinking from the bottle it self, and felt no shame for it. Trinity turned her head to the sliding noise, and what was originally just a brief stare turned into a full fledge turn around. This in turn irked Qrow a little. "Stop looking at me like a dork, sit down, and have a drink."

A sweet, gentle smile came to the gal's face, as she walked over to him, taking a seat over by him, and looking at the amber liquid in the glass. It had been awhile since she'd last had a drink. She quit when she met Qrow. Mostly for Mimi's sake, but when Mimi passed, she still couldn't bring herself to drink again. Not when Qrow veiwed her progress as satisfactory. He dragged her out of a rut, and the last thing she wanted to do was disapoint him by going back in... but now... he was handing her a glass of that same ol liquid regret that she forced herself to avoid. "I...haven't drank in awhile..." "Eh... What's stopping you now? The world's going to end, might as well go out satisfied."

She wanted to ask questions, she wanted to turn that forlorn face into a smile some how, but she knew better than that. The last time she tried, he actively avoided her the rest of the day, "I... don't know... I believe we can do something... I just don't know what yet." "How can you even say that. You heard lamp lady. We're done for. I know you're trying to be optimistic, but you'll just end up disapointed. So why even bother?" Trin's face formed into a scowl, as she looked over at Qrow. "Well it's better than sitting here and self loathing!..." Qrow looked to Trin with a hurt expression on her face. Trinity had begun to feel bad... wait... No! No she didn't! She was right and she knew it! "Qrow, I understand that you're hurting. No one is hurting nearly as much as you are right now. You lost a friend today, and you lost countless others to this unfortunate war. You devoted your whole life to this only for it to be futile. That's plenty of reason to want to give up, but what good does it do you? Why give up when you can go down fighting? And last time I checked, Qrow mother fuckin Branwen is one hell of a fighter!" Confidence gleamed through a bold smile on her face. Only the smile slowly faded as Qrow turned away. And so she stared down at the drink in front of her. She knocked it back real quick, and then stared down at the mahogony bar surface, which captured the light of the candles that had been lit.

"Ya know... I can't tell you what to do. You're a grown man. You can choose to roll over and give up, but I'm not. We need to keep fighting. Each day we push back is a day people have with their loved ones, and a day to take in the beauty this world has to offer, so I'm gonna keep fighting." Trin didn't take notice, but Qrow had turned away because he was hiding a smirk. Her words had touched him so. "I'm sorry..." The man's gravely voice hinted lightly of guilt and distress. "I've been an asshole. I'm not gonna sugar coat it. Ever since this journey started, you've been my cheer leader. You've always been in my corner, even when there were times you really shouldn't have been. I can't even repay you with some basic human decency. For that, I'm really sorry Tex..."

Tex... A name the girl wasn't even sure if she owned anymore, as she kept digging herself further into a hole trying to save someone who veiwed himself as "unsavable." The name that had sought to hide her past, one that had only recently returned to her out of guilt. Her name was Tex... Not Trinity.... Tex... Atleast that's what he called her, the man who she devoted her life to, something foreign to him. "I wish I could be like you... confident... optimistic... But I can't. You're amazing, and I'm worthless... unworthy-"

"Mother fucker!" Qrow flinched at the sudden cut into his pity party. "You're fucking fabulous, amazing, adorable, brave, kind hearted, caring, outstanding, heroic, daring, stunning,-" "Uuuuh... Tex???" "Georgeous! Stylish! Sweet! Worthy of love!-" "Tex!" "Fanfriggintabulous!" "TEX!... Slow your role! I get it!" Finally, she'd settle down, watching with relief as he let out a soft chuckle, swishing around the contents of the bottle. "You know... Ya always say that you bring misfortune to those around you, but... honestly... You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. You're my good luck charm, my sweet little bird." Qrow's face flustered a bright red. His heart throbbed with ever word that fled from those soft, black lipstick lips of hers. He felt warm inside, a feeling that had seemed almost foreign to him these past couple of days. His arm rose from the bar's wooden surface, and he plopped his hand down onto the wolf faunus's head, petting over her ears ever so gently. Enough to get her to purrrrrrrr~ softly. A sound of which brought Qrow some peace and serenity "... That's my little cheer leader...."

-experpt end.

Welp, hope people liked that good ol cheesy bullshit. I do take writing criticism, however "Ew! You ship an OC with a Canon character!" Is not one I take, so don't even bother. And here's a pic of my gal if you're curious of what she looks like. The art is done by me.

In the story I'm writing, this 4'8 lil gal follows Qrow and his merry band of adopted children around Remnant. She's typically a rowdy, take no shit kind of gal, and the two are constantly goofing around like two pals. Their favorite form of banter is going back and forth with calling each other a dork because they both understand how cheesy of an insult it is, and they're just an adorable couple of goof balls. Feel free to ask questions about her. Well, I've contributed to the small pool of canon x oc content, time to go forget I ever made this life decision. :D

#rwby qrow #qrow branwen

[zi-i-think]

10 | Being Better Matters

Pairing: Zuko x Ama (OC)

Word Count: 7500+

.☽☼☾.

~ Ama ☾ ~

          "...And then my father basically refused to let her see me again." Suh cackled. "And rightfully so. I'm so glad I realized that becoming friends with the maid's daughter was not the way to go. So improper."

         "Uh huh." I responded dully, slowly stirring my tea for no reason other than boredom.

         When I agreed to lunch with Suh I didn't know what to expect exactly. But what was happening right now definitely made me hate agreeing to it. I could have made up something stupid. Like that Katara needed me to help her with some last minutes decorations or that Sokka wanted to train with me.

         I only agreed to this so that maybe, just maybe, I would come to like Suh. And to prove to everyone that I didn't have feelings for my ex.

         The woman chatted away. Barely giving me room to say anything. Not that I cared, really. I was zoning out so much that I didn't even know if I'd be able to hold conversation.

         I got the general story. Suh was out playing with another little girl and broke her arm somehow. Then she and her family blamed the little girl, who was unfortunately the maid's daughter.

         The way Suh talked about the maids and others who were considered "low-class" made me sick. She talked about them as if they were animals or lesser than.

         Her obnoxiously loud voice and cackle got everyone in the restaurant staring at us and sending annoyed glances. I didn't blame them. I'd probably do the same if I were in their position.

         "Oh, goodness." Suh gasped and giggled. "I just realized that I've only talked about myself this entire time." You just realized this? "So what were your maids like as a child?" She delicately picking up her noodles with her chopsticks. Spirits, can she eat any slower?

         "Oh, I didn't have any maids." I informed her in a matter-of-fact tone.

         "Oh." Her lips formed an 'O' shape and she seemed confused. "I don't understand, you father is Head Chieftain. You live in a palace." She laughed lightly, like she thought I was pulling her leg.

         I shrugged. "During the war all of the men went off to fight. So the women and kids just tried to make due with what we had. I mean, we helped each other but no one had maids."

         "Oh no wonder you're so humble." Suh gasped. Like she had just solved the world’s greatest puzzle. "Ama, you are so brave to have taking care your siblings for all those years."

         "Well, I was more like we took care of each other." I tried to correct her, but Suh just talked right over me.

         "Oh, I wish I had siblings." She grinned. "I admire you so much. It must have been so hard for you to leave them."

         I stayed silent. I wasn't exactly sure what Suh wanted me to say. I wasn't sure about anything during this conversation. It was weird. Talking to Suh was weird. How does Zuko deal with this? I know I wasn't exactly pleasant either, but Suh had no boundaries. I could only imagine how he reacted if she pressed for him to talk about his family.

         "Well?" Suh said in a curious tone, expecting me to say something. "Was it hard for you to leave your siblings?"

         That question felt a bit... forced. It was sort of oddly placed in the conversation. Oh who am I kidding? This entire conversation has been odd. Maybe I'm just reading into this entire thing too deeply.

         "Yeah, I think it's always hard to leave the people closest to you, no matter how long it'd be." I answered her.

         "And, uh. What about leaving Zuko?" She asked more nervously. Goodness is this just a jealous girlfriend thing?

         "It was hard to leave everyone." I told her. "But I don't regret it. My time away gave me the time to understand myself."

         "Oh, like your whole bisexual thing." She giggled. "You're not attracted to me, right."

         "No, I'm not." I faked a laugh. I don't know how to interact with this woman anymore. I stayed calm. She doesn't know boundaries, that's all. Just like Shemi. And I love Shemi. She's the sweetest.

         "Good. Cause that would be gross." She snickered with her hand over her mouth.

         I gave her a distraught look, but kept a smile. "Excuse me?"

         "Oh, I mean this in no offense to you. I just think that two women together is unseemly." She saw nothing wrong with what she was saying. I take back what I said. Suh in nothing like Shemi.

         Despite having a huge urge to throw my cold tea at her and educate her about what is okay to say and what isn't. I held my tongue. But I couldn't stand to be here for another minute.

         "Oh my goodness, Suh I'm so sorry." I faked a gasp and placed my hand over my mouth to sell my shocked expression. "I just remembered that Katara needs my help soon."

         "Oh, I thought she and Aang were just doing light work today with the chef." Suh responded with a light head tilt. So she has part of a brain I see.

         "Well, yes." I nodded. "But she needs my help with picking up a package. She wants me to take it back to the venue as soon as it arrives."

         "Oh, okay." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and look around nervously. Like the people in the small Water Tribe restaurant scared her.

         "Thank you so much for understanding." I sighed in fake appreciation. Slipping a few coins on the table to pay, which may have been more than it should have, I left the establishment.

         I sighed in both frustration and relief the moment I stepped out into the cold air. Technically I wasn't lying that there was a package I needed to pick up. Originally, I was just going to get it after lunch, but I didn't realize how good of an excuse it would be.

         Walking to the post office, I thought about the conversation with the irritating woman. There was just something so off about the whole thing and about her. I brushed it off. Was she obnoxious? Yes. Was she rude? Even though she didn't notice it. Yes. But was she some evil mastermind like my gut was telling me? Definitely not.

         I did find it weird how Zuko was actually, dare I say, happy to be with her. I mean. The Zuko. The man who jumped in front of lighting for me before even telling me the full extent of his traumatizing childhood is somehow incredibly compatible with a girl who asked for my entire life story the second day I knew her. But I guess he just changed more than I thought he didn't since the last time I saw him.

         "Hey sis!" I almost jumped at Sokka's voice. I turned around, seeing my brother jogging over to me on the sidewalk to catch up with me. "I thought you were still with Suh."

         "Oh that? Yeah, I left." I huffed a laugh. Finally next to me, I interlocked my left arm to his right arm so that we could walk together.

         "Ha!" Sokka laughed. "I don't blame you. She is incredibly talkative and annoying." I felt relieved that he was actually agreeing with me, unlike my other friends.

         "And when she asks these incredibly personal questions." I added.

         Sokka groaned and threw his head back in annoyance. "She asked how our mom died last night." I shook my head and sighed. "I tried to tell Zuko not to bring her to boy's night, but Aang was okay with it, so my argument meant nothing."

         "Ah yes. The groom has the final word." I laughed.

         "You know I only saw Zuko without her hanging off his arm once since they got here." He held up his index finger to make a point. "And that was when you guys had the bridal shower. Those two are always together."

         "Aww, is my brother sad he doesn't get to hang out with his boyfriend?" I quipped with a fake frown.

         "Oh shut up." He replied. "I'd just be nice to hang out. Just us guys doing guy things. Not shopping."

         "Shopping can be manly." I argued.

         "Maybe if we were shopping for weapons. Not jewelry." I scoffed at him. "Besides, I was really hoping for a good spar. Like the good old times."

         "What about me?" I shrugged while i made my suggestion.

         "We tried that a month ago." He pointed out and gave me a smug look. "I won."

         "Right, except I was still out of touch with my weapons." I pointed out. "The 8 months at the air temple didn't really give me a lot of time to practice with a sword."

         "Well if you're really in the mood to get your ass whooped by me again. Alright." He agreed, positive he'd win again. "We'll meet in the training yard tomorrow morning."

         "Sounds like a plan." I chuckled.

         "Where are we going?" Sokka finally asked, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked around the block. Trying to piece together where we were.

         "The placement cards and the ceiling drapes arrived today." I told him. "I'm actually glad you're here to help me take the boxes back to the venue."

         "Knew I shouldn't have come over." Sokka grumbled under his breath.

         "Hey, Sokka. Do you think that there's anything malicious about Suh?" I wondered. I knew I already dismissed the idea, but I still needed a different opinion.

         "Malicious? About Suh?" He repeated. His tone already telling me that he didn't think so. "Sis, the girl's a pain, but she's too peppy to wish anything bad upon anyone. Especially on any of Zuko's closest and most beloved friends."

         "You're right." I nodded. "I just have this gut feeling that she's hiding something."

         Sokka laughed loudly at that. "Suh is an open book. That girl explained her entire childhood in extreme detail. If she were hiding anything it'd probably be about something stupid. Like that she's had beer before." I laughed at the random thing he said and gave him a confused look. "I swear she almost threw up after the first sip last night." He claimed.

         Gosh I missed Sokka. His randomness and his cheery attitude always brought a smile to my face. He spewed so much nonsense during the rest of the errand that I didn't even think about the offputting woman again.

.☽☼☾.

~ Suh ♛ ~

         The moment Ama left the restaurant, I stood up as well. No way did I want to be in some substandard Water Tribe restaurant more than I had to. I set down the payment for the food and left.

         I knew she'd probably be waiting for me. Fuck. I didn't want to have to see her. Last she told me, I was to meet her at some old Fire Nation ship not too far from the town. I didn't exactly know why she would choose some old and gross place, but it wasn't like she could get an room at an Inn.

         Ugh. I hate snow. I grumbled as I made my way to the rendezvous. How do these people deal with it all the time? It's freezing and it's wet. I couldn't wait to get back to the Fire Nation.

         Finally arriving at the old ship, I found a tear in the metal and climbed through. The entire boat was standing on large pieces of ice, holding it above the rest of the terrain. A part of me was scared that the entire hunk of metal would fall through the ice, but another part of me knew I had to keep going. I couldn't avoid her anymore.

         I didn't even know where I was going. I just kept walking through the metal hall. "Shit!" I yelled and tripped forward. I looked at my feet. I just tripped over a string. Furrowing my eyebrows in confusion, I sat on my butt. And then I realized it was a tripwire. The metal under me rumbled and creaked. I didn't have time to more away and fell through the trapdoor.

         I screamed in fear, falling through the steep slide backwards. Until I finally came to a slow stop. I looked around. It seemed I just landed myself in some ice tunnel. At least the ice reflected the light from outside so that I can see clearly.

         "Wonderful." I grumbled to myself. Not only did I just walk into some unknown ship that was believed to be haunted, but now I'm lost. How the hell am I supposed to get to her now? I pushed myself off the cold and hard ground. And wiped off the stray pieces of snow that stuck to my clothing.

         "Well, finally." Her voice caught my ear. I turned around to see her and crossed my arms.

         "Hello, Azula." I greeted back. My tone kept it's peppy and cheerful tone. As opposed to her cold and venomous one. I was a perky person. It's a part of my personality. And it worked wonders to get me what I wanted. No one expected the giggly and seemingly foolish girl to play others like a game of chess.

         Azula wore all dark clothing. Her long sleeved gray tunic was tucked into black pants. And she wore a black tunic. Her dark brown hair was put into a high ponytail, ending just below her shoulders. Even clothed in the less than royal clothing that she would wear during the war, Azula's essence commanded to be treated with respect and to be unquestioned.

         Her hands were on her hips and she smirked at me with her red painted lips. "I was beginning to wonder if you backed out of our plan." She shrugged and started to walk down the ice tunnel, making me follow her.

         "Right, well pardon me if I'd rather spend my time with your brother." I stated matter-of-factly. "Besides, it wasn't like I was just gonna ignore you the entire time."

         Azula rolled her eyes. "Leiza if you want to be Fire Lazy you need to learn not to keep others waiting."

         "Don't call me that." I grumbled. "That's my old name." I realized that we just entered what looked like an entire room. Old animal skins were on the ground, seats make of ice, a fire on the side of the room with a pot on it. Azula had made herself a semi-comfortable home for herself. Well, for the time being.

         "I know that. I gave you your identity." She waved her hand to prove a point. "I do hope you hold up your end of the bargain, though." Azula took a seat on the animal skin, sitting criss-crossed. I sat across from her, grimacing at the feeling of the fur.

         "Right, well Ama isn't exactly that cooperative." I told her. Azula scowled, but kept quiet to let me continue. "Everyone trusts me. Even that little lie-detector." I recalled the hours Azula spent teaching me to lie expertly. "Ama is the only one holding back."

         Azula laughed at me. "Of course she's holding back. You have a tendancy of speaking before you think. You don't want to offend the girl. Plus, you're with her ex."

         "I thought that she moved on from Zuko." I snarled. "There was that Munal girl or whatever her name was."

         "Zuko got struck by lighting for that little water baby." Azula pointed out. "As much as everyone might say Zuko's in her past, my brother is always going to have a place in her heart. The same goes for him."

         I'm no firebender, but if I were there would be smoke coming from my ears. "Well she can't have him!" I shouted. "I love Zuko! Not her! And he loves me!"

         "Where did that peppy attitude go?" Azula looked amused at my angered expression. "Don't make me regret breaking you out of that mental institution all those years ago, Suh."

         "Whatever." I grumbled and rolled my eyes.

         "Whatever feelings they might have for each other. It'll be gone soon enough." Azula asure me with her devilish tone and her eyes narrowed in a cunning way. "Remember the plan."

         Zuko will end up with me. I will be Fire Lady. That was the goal. Spirits, just the thought of being with Zuko brought me so much happiness and excitement. I know that I was technically lying to him. About who I was.

         Everything about my childhood was true. I grew up rich. My father was a general in the war. But I was sent to that damn mental institution. They called it an "obsessive disorder." But I called it ambition. Azula broke me out six years ago. We pretended to be the kemurikage for a while. Most of the other girls broke away. But I stuck with Azula.

         Azula was manipulative, just like me. I stuck with her for Zuko. She was my ticket to be with him. I was patient and calculating. And now I had him. He loved me for my personality. He told me that I was the one for him. I took care of him so that he wouldn't overwork himself. Because I loved him. Plus he was so good in bed. How could I resist a man like that?

         "So, what have we learned?" Azula asked me.

         "Ama didn't like when I brought up her late girlfriend." I started. "It hit a nerve."

         "No kidding." Azula scoffed, probably already knowing that. "I need details, Suh. If we're going to do this right I need you to start from the beginning."

         I mentally growned. Looks like I'm going to be in this dank, disgusting place for a while. But if it meant I got what I wanted in the end. Fine.

.☽☼☾.

~ Ama ☾ ~

         The day was actually not freezing. There was no wind this morning, which was rare. The air was still cold, don't get me wrong. Usually I'd wear my coat in order to keep warm, but given that I was about to kick Sokka's ass, I didn't need my coat.

         Neither of us have forgotten about the little sparring session. And it was no surprise that the others wanted to watch. No one would pass up the chance of finding something to make fun of later.

         The training yard was pretty standard. It was placed to the side of the palace, beside one of the many mountains. The usual light snow covered the ground in order to prevent any serious injuries. But that also meant one would have to be extra conscious about their movements to keep from slipping.

         The perimital of the rectangular training area was a pathway made of rock. There were snowy blue pillars, holding up an overhead covering. Benches were placed under it for anyone watching. In this case, that meant our friends.

         I did my last triceps stretch before tightening my ponytail. "Are you sure you still wanna fight me?" Sokka asked me, swinging his sword to the sides as he approached the middle of the yard. "After all, I am one of the best warriors of the Southern Water Tribe."

         I created my own sword out of ice while approaching him and stopping a few feet away from him. "What? Afraid you'll get beat by your sister?"

         "Of course not. I just know that sword-fighting isn't really your style." Sokka shrugged. He took his stance. Legs apart, right foot in front of his left, swatting slightly and his sword held up by his head. I also got into the same stance, preparing for the spar.

         "Go Ama!" Ty Lee cheered.

         "Show him who's boss!" Suki cheered as well.

         Sokka looked at his girlfriend with his mouth hanging open. "Suki! Who's side are you on?" She only laughed in response, leaning back on her hands to watch the show.

         My brother and I stared at each other competitively, waiting for the other to make the first move. He moved first, stepping forward and swinging his sword at me. I moved my own sword, blocking the strike. While I pushed it away from me, I stepped to the side, kicking my brother on his side.

         He stumbled a bit at the impact, but quickly regained his footing. I took the moment to attack, swinging my weapon across. Sokka stepped back and spun to the side. He tried to strike me from above and I blocked it, holding my sword above my head. Tilting my weapon, his sword stid off to the side.

         I then swung my sword violently across. Sokka almost didn't see it coming, ducking under the blade. He looked at me with some shock. I gave him a cocky smirk, taking a few steps back while throwing the weeping from one hand to another.

         He ran towards me. I spun on my right foot, dodging his blade. My right hand gripped his wrist, letting me elbow Sokka harshly in the chest. He stumbled back and I swung my sword at him. He quickly reacted with his weapon and the metal hit briefly.

         Spinning for more momentum, I took another swing. It made contact with Sokka's sword and it slipped from his grasp. The weapon landed a few feet away. I kept my sword up, pointed at my brother.

         There were a few cheers from the benches. I was starting to enjoy my victory too quickly. Because Sokka kicked the kilt of my ice sword, and it fell out of my hand. Also landing a few feet away from me. Sokka sprinted over to his sword.

         Now I had a fraction of a second to make a decision. Either run to my weapon or keep Sokka from getting to his. I took the latter. Sprinting after my brother, I slid on the ground, kicking the sword even further away just before he reached for it.

         But he was running too fast, and now I was in the way. Sokka tripped over me. My side now hurt where his foot collided with my body. My brother was now closer to the sword but I scurried to roll over him to get in between him and the weapon.

         We both stood to our feet with our fists up and I went to punch him. He swat my arm away and I tried again, getting the same result. He in turn attempted to punch me back. I grabbed his wrist and twisted his arm.

         "Ow ow ow!" He shouted in pain while I stepped behind him, his arm twisted behind his back. I kicked the back of his knee, making him kneel on the ground.

         "So." I grin proudly. I love winning. Always a good feeling. "I win?"

         Sokka groaned, hesitant to let me win. But for the second time during that fight. I got too cocky. My brother slid one of his legs back and kicked it under me, making me let go of my grip on him as I fell on my side. Sokka reached to pick up his sword quickly and pointed it at me just as I sat up on my butt.

         "Sorry, sis. You just gotta admit that I'm a better warrior than you." He claimed his victory.

         "Okay, fine." I grumbled. Sokka lowered dhis sword and held his arm out to help me up. But I just slapped it away and got up by myself.

         "You're such a sore loser, ya know." My brother laughed at me while I already started heading to the benches.

         My ponytail had become loose during the spar and I had strands of hair sticking up. Sokka's warrior's wolf tail wasn't much different.

         "Gotta say, though, you're good with a sword." He complimented while we walked to the benches with friends. "Just not as good as me." I sucked in an annoyed breath and clenched my jaw at his taunting and he burst out laughing at my expression.

         "Well you don't have to rub it in." I grumbled and crossed my arms over my chest.

         Katara stood from her seat and wrapped an arm around both our shoulders. "It doesn't matter who's better. Just that you both gave it your all and did wonderful."

         I scoffed. "No, I disagree. Being better matters."

         "One way or another, we're all better than each other." Sokka pointed out. "Ama's better at fighting with waterbending, Katara is better at healing, and I'm better at everything else." Katara and I shared the same annoyed look, but we both were still humored by our brother.

         "Sweetie, I think it's time to go." Aang got up from his seat.

         "Oh! Yes, I think it is time." Katara grinned widely, leaving Sokka and I to join her fiance. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she wrapped her arms around his waist. They were so cute. Sure, the "sweetie" nicknames were a little nauseating, but they expressed so much love for eachother.

         A small smile tugged at my lips knowing that my sister would spend the rest of her life with someone who made her incredibly happy. Forget that he's the Avatar, he's a good man and I couldn't imagine Katara being with anyone else.

         "I didn't know you guys had wedding duties to attend to." Suki spoke up, also getting up from her seat to stand by her boyfriend.

         "We don't." Aang replied.

         "We have a date." Katara blushed. "With all the planning and preparations, Aang and I haven't had enough time just by ourselves. No distractions."

         "Yeah, instead those distractions get thrown on me." I smirked jokingly.

         "You offered!" My sister exclaimed with annoyance in her tone.

         "I'm just teasing." I laughed. "Enjoy your date, you two." Rolling her eyes, Katara and Aang went to leave the training yard and to whatever it was that they had planned. "So what's everyone else got planned?" I turned to everyone else who'd been silent.

         "Mai and I are going to try snowboarding!" Ty Lee answered and then placed a thoughtful finger on her chin. "We aren't exactly sure what it is, but we've been told it's fun." I chuckled at my friend's bubbly personality.

         "Suki and I are going to the market." Sokka grinned, intertwining his hand with Suki's.

         I then turned to Zuko, waiting for a response. "Fire Lord duties. Unfortunately, work doesn't stop for the Avatar's wedding." I frowned. Work during a vacation? Sounds awful.

         "Aw, I'm sorry, baby." Suh pouted, linking arms with him and cuddling up next to him. Zuko just smiled and chuckled at her. "I'm lucky I brought some books with me. Today is perfect to me to just sit back and relax."

         "Didn't know she could read." Mai muttered so softly that I could only hear. My hand covered my mouth to keep from laughing loudly. The others looked over at me and I faked a cough.

         "Ama, you should go." Sokka said very dryly. I gave him a sort of offended look at how he wanted me to leave. "No seriously. Auntie Nalle hates when people are late and you are a sweaty mess."

         I looked down at myself. Sokka was right. I couldn't exactly go to Auntie Nalle with my messy hair and sweat stained shirt. "Right, uh." I realized. "Well then, I'll see you all at dinner." There was a series of "byes" and "laters" from the group as I left the yard.

         Today wouldn't be a bad day. Auntie Nalle graciously offered to bake some of the pastries for the wedding. All I had to do was confirm what Katara wanted, figure out how many were needed, and then hopefully I wouldn't have to stay for her gossip.

.☽☼☾.

         I hate gossip. Don't get me wrong. I love a good scandal every now and then. However, I don't really enjoy speculations about people. I should've just told Antie Nalle that I really didn't care if Eyin stole Vulla's soup recipe. I haven't talked to them in years.

         Luckily though. The day was coming to an end. I didn't even think I'd be at dinner after all those sweets I was given. The sun was still high up in the air, telling me that most of the others were probably still busy.

         And I was in no hurry, so I walked through the courtyard beside the palace slowly. Breathing in that sweet smell of the afternoons in the Southern Water Tribe. It gave me so much nostalgia. Taking me back to when my siblings and I would have snowball fights and then go back home where mom would have dinner ready. Like her steamed dumplings. She'd scold me about my messy hair or maybe how I tore my coat. Still, I'd give anything to go back to those days.

         I ran my hands through my loose hair and looked up at the sky. Just then, a messenger hawk flew above my head and landed on one of the window sills of the palace. It was one of the windows for our hallway. Who's receiving a letter?

         My walking slowed down in curiosity. The window finally opened and Suh poked her head out. I narrowed my eyes and moved closer to one of the pillars, hiding behind it, but still getting a decent view of the window. Suh took the message from the compartment on the hawks back and the animal took off into the sky again.

         The woman unrolled the paper, reading over it. Her eyebrows pinched together and a grimace found its way to her lips I wasn't good are reading lips but it looked she either said something along the lines of "are you fucking kidding me" or "ate a funny kidney".

         Finishing the letter, Suh rolled the letter up and again. Then she poked her head out again, looking to her left and right. She was looking to see if anyone saw her receive her letter. I quickly brought my head behind the pillar again so she wouldn't see me.

         Fuck. No one looks that suspicious when receiving a letter. My mind tried to find some logical response to keep me from spiralling into some conspiracy. Maybe it was a family member or work? No she doesn't work. And what kind of familial letter would get someone to react that way? From what I've gathered, she didn't have any issues with her family.

         I looked around the pillar, seeing that the window was now closed shut. I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes. What are you hiding, Suh?

.☽☼☾.

         "Where the hell do you think you're going!" I shouted. My tone was etched with anger and also humor while I chased a thug that was running away from the city he's been terrorizing for so long. I threw my right arm up, water flew past me and turned to ice around his feet.

         The man tried to move, but there was no use. My running slowed down and I walked towards him with a light skip in my step. "Oh, you're going to pay for this." The grumpy middle aged man grimaced at me.

         I gave him a flat smile, bending more water to create handcuffs made of ice behind his back. "No, you're going to pay. In a cell" I stated matter-of-factly and removed the ice around his feet to lead him back to the village.

         I lightly shoved him into the back of the carriage, where he and the rest of the criminals would be taken away to a larger city to be locked up. Most of the smaller villages didn't have enough policemen to uphold the law or even a place to lock up said law breakers. Leaving them vulnerable to bandits and thugs like these guys.

         "My village can not thank you enough." The mayor expressed his appreciation to myself and the rest of my group. "We do not have much to give, but please accept some of our fresh vegetables and meat."

         One of the older women stepped towards us with a basket filled with carrots, tomatoes, meats, and other things. She handed it to Masha and she bowed her head in thanks.

         Mulan stepped forward to speak to the mayor, putting her katana into its sheath. "Thank you, for your generous gift. It was an honor to fulfill our duty in ridding your town of those criminals."

         She was always so respectful to everyone. When speaking to officials especially, Mulan's voice was polite and unwavering. And because of that, we were respected back. But trust me. The moment someone stepped out of line, she'd be sure to put them back into their place.

         We all bowed to the mayor to bid our farewell and left the village to set up camp for the night. "We have enough here to make a stew!" Masha looked through the basket. "We're eating good tonight, my fellow bastards!"

.☽☼☾.

         At dusk that day, Masha was standing over a large pot, cooking us all a stew. I sat on the grass with my back against a fallen tree, taking in the sight of my new friends.

         After Mulan introduced me to the Miraculous Bastards a month ago, I joined them. It wasn't much different than when I traveled with Aang and the others. We never spent too long in one place, taking down gangs and others who took advantage of villages and the average citizen.

         The group was made up of five people, including me. There was Masha. She had light brown, messy hair and brown eyes. She was like the caretaker. Always asked if we drank water, great cook, sewed our clothes. She sort of reminded me of Katara. She was the only earthbender; and she was a damn good one, too. I hoped to one day introduce her to Toph. Despite having two very different personalities, I wondered if they'd get along.

         Then there was Bono, Masha's twin brother. Same brown hair and brown eyes. He was the quiet, observant type. He liked to keep a journal with him at all times for haikus and to draw landscapes. Unlike his sister, though, Bono wasn't a bender. Instead, he was skilled with the bow and arrow and double swords. His sympathetic nature made it incredibly easy to talk to him, but not as much to joke with.

         Taon was Masha's boyfriend. He was a firebender from the colonies. His reckless and adventurous personality made him incredibly fun to be around. I remember the first night I was with them he woke me up in the middle of the night to go looking for a saber-tooth moose lion; for no reason other than the fun of it. I was convinced that if it weren't for Masha, he would've gotten himself killed in one was or another.

         And lastly, Mulan. Spirits, where do I start. She was no bender, but her fighting was incredible. She mastered many forms in a multitude of weapons, incredibly flexible, strong. A true warrior. She was the unofficial leader of the Miraculous Bastards. Her posture and voice commanded respect and she was always prepared for anything. But she was also so sweet and it was so easy to talk to her. We'd spend hours talking nonsense and laugh at Taon and Masha's bickering.

         But even after a month of knowing her, there was still the feeling of nervousness around her. After meeting her, that feeling of missing something in my life disappeared. It kind of felt like when I had a crush on Zuko, before dating.

         "Alright, everyone! The stew is ready!" Masha grinned happily, pouring the first bowl. I stood from my stop and joined the others around the pot.

         "Masha, this smells incredible." I complimented as I got handed a bowl.

         "Thank you." She accepted the compliment, holding the last field bowl in her hand. "It's the perfect meal for this special occasion."

         "Oh, what's that?" I wondered curiously.

         "Today marks one month since you've been with us." Mulan reminded me with a light nudge. I couldn't help but blush lightly at the touch.

         "Yeah, we're really lucky to have you with us." Bono added.

         "An incredible fighter and an even better friend." Taon lighted his bowl up in the air and cheered. "To Ama!"

         "To Ama!" The others repeated, lifting their bowls up as well.

         I laughed with them and shook my head. "You guys are amazing, But if I'm being honest, I should be the one lucky to have you all. A bunch of rascals who like to beat up bullies? My kind of people." They all laughed at my words. "But really, thank you for letting me join you all."

         "Of course." Masha assured me. "Now, let's eat before this all gets cold."

         I took my spot by the fallen tree to eat. Masha and Taon sat not far from me, starting to engage in their own conversation. Bono didn't like to be disturbed when he was eating and sat further away from us all. And Mulan sat next to me.

         Neither of us said anything at first. We both focused more on the vegetables and the beef in the stew. But we both also wanted to say something to each other.

         "Masha is probably the best cook I've ever come across." Mulan broke the silence and set the finished bowl down beside her. "I remember the first time she cooked for me when we were 16, I tried to convince her to own a restaurant or something."

         "Well, she'd definitely do well." I finished my stew as well and set it on my lap.

         Mulan looked over at the others, seeing that no one was really paying attention to us. "Hey, let's get out of here." She pointed away from camp with her thumb.

         I raised an eyebrow, both in curiosity and confusion. "And go where?"

         She shrugged and made her suggestion. "There's a lake not far from here. I got water from there earlier."

         "Sound fun." I agreed, moving the empty bowl to the ground and standing up. Mulan smiled at me and stood up as well. No one noticed us leave the camp. Which isn't necessarily a problem, we shouldn't be away long.

         I followed the redhead through the trees, listening to the sound of crickets. "Here it is." Mulan announced as we finally arrived at the lake. There wasn't a ton of light tonight because there was only a half moon in the sky. Mulan grinned at me and then took my hand, pulling me with her to the lake. "Check this out."

         She placed her hand in the water and moved it from side to side. The water that moved glowed a bright blue. My jaw dropped at the incredible sight. "Wow." I gasped and dipped my hands into the cold water as well. "How does this happen?"

         "It's a chemical reaction in the algae." Mulan answered. I gave her a curious look, wondering how she knew that. "My parents studied it a little. They were herbalists so they found this stuff interesting."

         "It's incredible." I admired the incredible sight. You truly do learn something new everyday. With a mischievous smirk, I splashed some water at Mulan. The woman gasped in shock as I laughed. She splashed me back, and the droplets fell on my face and chest. "Oh, okay then."

         I bent the glowing water till it was over the redhead. "Ama, no!" She squealed and tried to back up while still on the ground. I dropped the water, drenching her in it. Her hands wiped the water out of her eyes and she gave me a playful glare as I giggled uncontrollably.

         And without warning, Mulan lunged at me. "Ahh!" I shrieked while she pushed us both into the lake. The edge of the lake was still pretty shallow, allowing for us both to sit up and it only reached to our waist. "What the hell?" I laughed.

         "You started it." She retorted. I bit my bottom lip and shook my head at her. I bent some more water to throw at her, but Mulan moved further into the water. "Nuh uh. Sorry, sweetheart but you're gonna have to catch me first."

         I scoffed amusingly while the redhead dove deeper into the water. I took her up on that challenge and followed her in further. She wasn't really trying to outswim me. I caught up to her pretty quickly, tackling her and we both submerged into the lake. The water glowed at all the movement we were making.

         Breaking through the surface, the two of us gasped for air and giggled. Luckily we weren't that deep and could stand. The water ended just above my waist. "I didn't think this through." Mulan muttered, looking down at her soaking clothes.

         "Relax, I can bend the water out of our clothes when we get out." I reminded her and moved closer to her.

         Just for the curiosity of it, I bent the water, moving it from side to side as it glowed. I took it a step further, swirling it around my body and then around Mulan's. The two of us giggled while I slipped the water back in the lake.

         "No matter how often you do that I'm always to mezmerised but it." Mulan looked at me in awe. "Well, it's either that or just the gorgeous woman who's bending the water." I turned to look at her and our eyes met. Her green eyes felt like they were seeing every inch of me. Every insecurity and every flaw. But also every beautiful aspect and everything admirable.

         Neither of us said anything. My eyes looked down at her heart shaped lips. She never painted them, but they still had an orange tint to them. Which I thought was absolutely unique and beautiful.

         Mulan leaned in hesitantly, waiting for me to back away. But I didn't. In fact, I also leaned in. She closed the gap and her soft lip finally met mine. It felt perfect and pure. But just as quickly as it happened, she pulled away and hastily started to trudge through the water.

         "Wait, Mulan!" I called and started to trudge after her. Was the kiss bad? Was I bad?

         "I shouldn't have done that." The woman replied with a distressed tone. She scrunched up her hair, getting the water out and she stepped out of the lake.

         "Why? Was it me?" I wondered. My chest felt heavy with worry that I had just made a complete fool of myself. I was already planning to leave the group. I couldn't stay if it was just going to be awkward.

         "No, no. It wasn't you." Mulan told me.

         "Then what?" I grabbed her wrist to keep her from leaving further.

         She turned around with tears in her eyes and she shook her head. "You were perfect." She started. "You are perfect. I just can't do this to you."

         "What? Do what?" I begged to know.

         "You're a hero, Ama. I can't be the reason you get shunned and rejected by the world." He looked down at her hands to avoid my look. "Like what my parents did to me." It clicked in my mind. Just a moment ago, it felt like it was just me and her. But there's still an entire world that wouldn't be thrilled if two women fell in love. Mulan's parents being one example.

         The thing was. I didn't care. I placed my hand on both sides of Mulan's cheeks, wiping her tears away with my thumbs. "Fuck the world." I told her and shook my head. "This can just stay between us or we can shout it from the rooftops. It doesn't matter. I just don't want to have to reject how I feel about you."

         Mulan raised her head, looking me in the eye again. "And how do you feel about me?" She wondered with a soft smile.

         "With you I feel happy. I feel like I can do anything with you by my side." I told her. "I like you more than a friend."

         Mulan wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me close to her. "I like you more than a friend, too." And we kissed again. It was soft and loving. And, again, it felt perfect. "I can't tell you hold long the others were trying to convince me to make a move." She giggled when she pulled back a little.

         "Did Teon try to give you a pep-talk?" I asked with a humorous smirk.

         "Yeah and then Bono did a better job at it." Mulan responded and the two of us laughed. This felt right. I didn't know in that moment, but it wouldn't last. The feeling of being pure.

.☽☼☾.

Let's go lesbians, lets go! Jk, Ama is a little bi baby. I wanted some background for Ama and Mulan before some more tea! But also cause I love wlw representation and there isn't enough of it. And don't worry everyone cause Zuko is getting some love pretty soon!

Love you all! Hang loose, amigos 🤙🏼

#zuko x oc #zuko fanfic #zuko x waterbender oc #waterbender oc #her sun his moon

[punkscowardschampions]

Bea & Ro

Surprisingly productive argument/turned actual conversation, about Drew, Ro’s self-loathing, sister issues and their parents/going to London soul-searching.

Bea: Back with him then? I thought you'd learned your lesson (finally) last time...Well? Ro joined the chat 3 hours ago Ro: Yes, it was rather unexpected, and sudden I suppose, hence I didn't get a chance to let you know individually Ro: Well, actually I have learned a lot. As has Drew. Bea: That's always good, rushing into commitments, being at his beck and call... Bea: And obviously he has, how else would he deceive you, again. Got to have new tricks. For goodness sake! Bea: What does he actually do with his time, Ro? What do you think? He isn't in Schooling, fine, but where's his REAL job? Bea: What are you getting out of this? Except heart-ache and being made to look a fool at the end of it, every month or so Bea: I thought you were in a good place? Ro: That isn't at all what I meant. There was a lot going on with my birthday celebrations and everything as you yourself know. Ro: Oh Bea that's just uncalled for! He's changed and with is finally being more truthful with me. Ro: I thought you, out of everyone, would understand standing on your own two feet and making a living for yourself your own way. He didn't enjoy school but he's using the skills he has to support himself Ro: What is so wrong with that? Ro: I am in a good place now. With him. He loves me. What more could there be to get 'out of it' Bea: Wait, he didn't try all this AFTER you read the letter, did he? Bea: It's always an emotional time for you, regardless if it was before or after anyway; it's wrong for him to exploit that for his own gain Bea: No, he hasn't! If he had, he'd leave you alone, or at least let you come back to him. He hasn't changed at all. Bea: So tell me what he does, if it's so admirable, tell me right now what you think he does, what has him out all the odd hours Bea: I, out of everyone, know where dealing in the things he does, can get you. You don't remember what it was like for Tess and Fearghal back then, you were too young, but they've told enough war stories for you to know better! I know you do, so why are you choosing to ignore what you know to be true for his sake? Bea: He isn't worth it. For God's sake, being associated with him could risk your career before its even began. Is that what you want? Think on! Bea: Oh, Ro. There is so much more than those words, even when they're not empty. Ro: Why must you take something so nice and twist it into something HORRIBLE! I hadn't even opened your gift when Drew and I reconciled. Mum and dad have nothing to do with this and he would never do anything to involve them after everything he has been through with his own family. Ro: You don't know anything about him. Or us. You barely know me. Ro: He does all kinds of things, odd jobs, fetching and carrying for people that sort of thing. I didn't need all the ins and outs because I trust him and honestly it hardly matters if you don't. Ro: I've also been told enough stories to understand that people deserve second chances, as have you. He isn't as lucky as I was. He remembers every struggle before Caleb's family took him in and he does what he has to do to make sure he and Meena will have a future whatever happens next. I can't blame him for that and you shouldn't. Self reliance is the opposite of a risk and I'm proud and lucky to know him, thank you very much. Ro: You clearly have no idea what he's worth so you'll excuse me if I don't bow to your 'wisdom' on the subject. Ro: Besides, it's my career. Not yours. You've made your own choices why can't you let me make mine? Ro: How can you say that Bea! You live by them. Fraze is everything to you and you've never listened to a word against him, have you? Bea: You're just seeing it as it actually was, and not through rose-tinted fairyland glasses. Bea: I know enough. More than you, as you continue to choose ignorance over swallowing the bitter pill and moving the fuck on. Bea: And there is no 'us' as in 'you and him'. There never will be because that is not what he wants from you. Bea: You are ridiculous. This is not 1950s America in a cheesy movie...He isn't a fucking boy scout doing bob-a-job. Listen to how stupid you sound, for what? He doesn't defend you, or do anything that inconveniences him, in fact, for you. Its one-sided and unfair and you deserve better, I know you think otherwise, and that you won't get better but its true, and possible. Bea: Boo fucking hoo. He doesn't get to use his sad backstory to be a criminal. All that will happen is that he'll end up in jail, leaving his wittle sister alone. And Meena will be just fine without him, because she's got a fucking brain in her head. God, I wish I could say the same for you. Bea: I don't care to know any more about him that is plainly evident for all to see. You're not going to get a doctorate for giving a shit about him. He isn't special. He's not intriguing. He's a waste of your time and energies. Bea: Don't even bother going to Cambridge if you're going to throw it all away on him. Save the country the debt, get yourself knocked up now and waste away waiting for him to love you back. Bea: Because we have common interests, goals, and you know, we make each other's lives better by being in them? And we've always both been willing to put our money where our mouth is, in terms of love and working together to get what we want and need. So please, don't ever try and compare this teenage infatuation of yours to my relationship with Fraze again, it is just laughable in the saddest way. Ro: Stop. You don't know half as much as you think you do and frankly what information you're working with isn't correct anymore if it ever has been. You're the one being ridiculous, not me. Ro: Not to mention judgmental! You don't get to tell him how to act or what his future may or may not be because you aren't a monopoly on tragedy. Ro: I wish you'd stop pretending to have any stake in my own future either. It isn't so and I'm not going to do as you say just because you say it. Not that it's any of your business but getting pregnant is the last thing I intend to do but if I did it has nothing to do with you and there is no reason I'd have to choose regardless. You didn't and Ali isn't. Ro: I've already told you he does love me and he does make my life better but since you clearly need to hear it, we also have plenty of things in common. Bea: No, I won't. Because someone needs to tell you, and it will go in. And one day, you will see sense. Bea: Yeah my judgment is the least of his worries, try the judgment of the fucking law because did you forget, its illegal? Bea: He's a moron, everyone in Dublin knows he's dealing, he'll be lucky if the police find him before rivals do and break his fucking kneecaps. Bea: I do, I'm your sister, you don't have to like it for it to be reality, you can't write me out of your fucking fairytale, Ro. And if you want anything to do with your niece or nephew, I'd reconsider the path you're going down because fat chance I'm letting them near that scum, or near you when you're behaving so irrationally. Bea: All you have in common is co-dependency on toxicity and fucking up your lives and your poor attempt at trauma-bonding. What fun! Ro: We're sisters when it suits you, Bea. I'd be surprised you have time for this conversation except I'm well versed in the fact that you live to berate me. I thought things were getting better between us but apparently I'm wrong about that above all. Since we've come to what is really, and consistently, the heart of the issue once again, I won't try and change your mind or apologise, once more, for not being good enough for you. I'd hate to sound even more like an irrational teenager when you read back this conversation to bask in your superiority. Ro: What's fun are these constant fights and reminders of what a failure you believe I am. Ro: If you don't want me around Nancy and Buster then fine, they are your children. I don't feel the need to tell you what to do or you're doing wrong. Bea: So you want me to leave you alone? But are also so sad about the fact I'm never there for you? Sounds like someone's confused! Unsurprising when you believe lies and won't see or hear anything real. Bea: And I haven't berated you, I've berated him; you are not one. Which is the real heart of the issue, you taking responsibility for and internalising all his bullshit. Bea: And I have bad news for you on that front, except you sound like what you are, a child. Bea: I've never been ashamed of you. Until now. Bea: You won't be in and out of their life when it suits you, just an Auntie when he leaves you, AGAIN. So, you've made your choice. I sincerely hope you can live with it. Goodbye, and good luck, Ro. Ro: I must take after you what with you contradicting yourself so heavily. If Drew and I aren't one, as you're so keen to stress then why are you so quick to try and tell me that I'm not separate from his choices or mistakes. Ro: Sadly you're too late as well because I'm not a child anymore. However my relationship continues or ends I'm living my own life. I didn't expect to have to do so without you but I fine. Ro: As for the kids, I wouldn't do that when I know how much it hurts. Ro: For the record though, this is the choice you made. It's been forced upon me but I guess I will have to live with it all the same. Bea: No, Ro. You chose to make the wrong decision. Bea: You love getting a chance to be the victim. Well, be his victim. But you're not mine, you did this to yourself, I gave you the choice. Ro: There shouldn't have even been a decision to be made but you need me to be wrong so badly don't you? In every way you can. Forgive me for being sick of it. Ro: No Bea, you love me to be a victim so you can heap your scorn on me. It's not the same thing. Just like a choice isn't the same as a ultimatum which is what you've thrown at me. Bea: No, I need you to fucking love yourself! Maybe you're sick of feeling wrong, feeling like you're never enough. That is coming from you and you alone, so don't you dare try to push your self-loathing onto me and say that's how I feel about you, because it isn't, never has been, and it never will be. I love you. Bea: I pity you, it hurts you like scorn because you've still got an ounce of pride left in you somewhere. I'm just asking you, begging you, to hold onto it and make use of it. Ro: Then just love me! Let me be happy without trying to ruin it and be cruel all the time. That hurts me and it does, and is, coming from you. I can't keep having the same fight with you. It's more exhausting than anything Drew's done. Pity me for saying so if you want. I can't control that either. Bea: If I have to be cruel to be kind, then that's the role I have to play. I hardly enjoy it, it hurts me too, Ro! But I'm not going to lie to you, to pretend something is okay when it isn't, just because that's what feels best to you at the time. Because its not going to feel good when you look back, for me or for you. I'm not prepared to wrap you in cotton wool. You're an adult now? Then I'm treating you like it, no coddling. Ro: But you don't have to! You don't have to like him but why can't you accept that I do? I love him. Why can't that just be okay? Nobody else is lying or pretending, I mean look at Tess, but she's not being like this. Like you. Ro: You're my sister but you don't have to be anything to him, I'm not asking for that. We aren't married, Bea. Bea: Because I AM your sister! They're all family, but they're not; there are boundaries. And Tess is a parental figure, parents let you make your own mistakes. But I am your sister and I happen to think you've made the same mistake enough times now. There's nothing more to learn from this, from him. Nothing of worth for you and your personal growth. Bea: But I know you're not going to stop, so, there we go. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't try, it will help one day. Ro: But maybe it isn't a mistake this time. Or maybe I am just tired of always having to think in terms of what I can learn or take and want to just have what he can give me... Ro: why can't this be worth a try? Bea: Because you're worth more than just taking what you can get from someone who isn't giving enough, nevermind their all. Ro: You're just saying that because you don't like him. Bea: No, Ro, I am not. And you know that. Ro: I know I'm not you. Or Ali. And I know what people say about me. Why they bully me. I'm not stupid. Bea: You're socially awkward, that's all. People with competent enough social skills themselves can easily get past that. And you're clever, all that just combines to make people feel insecure so they project that onto you, make you feel the same. Bea: Its not as if I had any real friends at School either. There's a whole world out there, Ro. Filled with people who will like and love you, will get you. Bea: And you have Ali, and Meena, don't you? Ro: No you're clever, I just work hard. Try harder. Ro: You don't get it, he's not the one who's wrong, I am. Ro: He loves me, why can't I have that? Ro: And yes, of course, but it's not the same Bea: But what's not admirable about that? Being 'clever' innately (which in School just means having a decent store and recall memory to pass tests) isn't anything to shout about particularly, but putting in the work is. Bea: What's wrong with you? Different is not wrong. They're all the same, it makes it feel wrong to be different, but do you want to be like all the other girls in your School, really? Bea: You're better. Bea: Don't make me say it, Ro... Ro: In theory yes but in practice it's simply exhausting and frustrating and anything other than admirable. Or likable. Ro: I just don't want to be this. It isn't about comparison Ro: He makes me happy that's all. Bea: It feels like it when you're there, but School isn't a popularity contest. Its to get you to where the fuck you actually WANT to be, that's all. You don't want the only place you ever wanna be to be the School playground 'cos you've peaked, 'cos you're leaving in a year's time and there is no going back. Bea: You're going to have a life that is more than just nostalgia Bea: That's all this is, that's all I'm trying to prevent here, don't fall into the trap, okay? Ro: I know that. Ro: But this isn't just nostalgia though, I know that as well. Bea: Okay, but one day it will be, and I want you to be able to look back at this time with more than just regret Ro: And I want a chance to be in the moment, for once, instead of constantly looking back or worrying about the future Bea: Then go for it, like I said. But 'living in the moment' doesn't magically absolve you of making choices that will affect your present, your future, and how you look back on it as the past one day. You can not think too much about it when you're in it, sure. But you will have to live it and re-live it. That's just life, baby sister. I know it better than most. Ro: Okay, so what you have me do, leave him because of how he might behave and how he has in the past, in spite of his apologies for it? That isn't right. Bea: The past has a habit of not staying in the past...It creeps up on you, and on him, no doubt, old habits dying hard. If you can live with how he treated you, how everyone knows he treated you, the cheating and lying and just cruelty, he threw your way- then, well, I can't stop you. I wasn't trying to, I was only ever telling you how it is, how I see things. Bea: Is sorry enough? Because you know, it can't fix everything, don't you? Ro: I have to believe it can Bea: Then...I wish you luck. Ro: Is that all? You don't hate me again, do you? Bea: I never hated you, Ro, and I don't Ro: I hope so. I'd like to come and see you. I've been thinking about the woman that wrote you the letter a lot and was wondering if I should send her one back or something. Bea: You could- Or we could go visit her, she did offer Bea: I have been pondering what to do too Ro: Oh, that's an even better idea, if a scarier one.... Bea: Yeah Bea: We'll be okay. I'm certain she's legitimate, as in she was a true friend, not just someone who went to the same School and had a vague recollection and some old photos. I did a lot of digging before I reached out and she'd done Facebook posts on mum's Birthday, and the anniversary of the crash, year upon year, and she had more photos on their too. Bea: She could probably give us a real sense of who they were, and the area, she's still there...Its not somewhere in London I'd been previously and I haven't gone without you Ro: I don't doubt that or you, it's just...what if I'm not how she expects. Ro: The whole thing could be a huge disappointment Bea: It's not an audition. We're their daughters and that isn't up for debate, nor judgment. Who would she be to do that? Not that she sounds like that but you know, fuck anyone who would, they don't know us, what we've been through. Bea: It could be, yeah, but we've not got anything to lose, have we? Ro: You're right. Okay let's do it. When? Bea: Well, its a pretty good season to do it in, I think. Goodwill, being with new friends, reminiscing on old, reaching out to your fellow man and all that. We can get her something, to say thank you... Your last day is the 21st, right? So, if we do Sat 22nd, you can come back to Cambs with me for the Sunday and we'll all go back to Dublin together on the Monday, for Christmas Eve. Bea: Is that too soon for you? Its a few weeks but if you need longer, we can do it AFTER Christmas. I just think the festive season is as good an excuse as any, it'll make us all for more comfortable, I feel. Ro: No no I agree. That's a perfect time. Bea: I'll talk to Tess but I know she'll be fine. Bea: I'm really looking forward to this Ro: Anything to distract her from it being Caleb's family's turn to have Ali and the kids for Christmas, bless her. Ro: Me too. Thanks again, Bea. I know I've said it a hundred times already but Bea: Oh dear, I better catch up with her so she can rant, save your ears from it for the hundredth time, especially Ferghal's! Bea: Its okay, hopefully we'll get even more from this visit, fill in the blanks once and for all Ro: I really hope so, yes. Bea: I better get on, lots to do. We'll talk soon. x Ro: Okay. Kiss the twins for me 💕 Bea: Will do 💞

[kaori271-blog]

The Servant of Evil Kagamine Len

My dear princess, I will always be here Your faithful servant I am, brothers at heart I came to the world to give you total protection My life for you I will give The tyrant will be me You and I were born together under the blue sky The bells were glad to see us born And our family was the one that separated us The future of the two, greed divided How many things our destiny will give us All our life I will always regret Until the end of the world my soul will take care of you And seeing you happy, I will always wish My dear princess, I will always be here Your faithful servant I am, brothers at heart I came to the world to give you total protection I will give my life for you The tyrant will be me When I made a trip in another country A pretty girl captured my attention It was his smile that pleased me And at first sight, she fell in love with me But your wishes you gave me to order You never wanted to see that girl I will fulfill it and so you will rest I still don't understand why I feel so bad My dear princess, I will always be here The fate of the two, with anger and heart Today's snack is a flan with a lot of love Your real smile came back My life finally shone Someday this country justice will take And people's anger will not be avoided If there is no remedy for what fate will bring You shouldn't worry My fault will be Hurry up my clothes will fit you You have to escape, and no longer look back Everything will be fine, you and I are similar Nothing will happen to me You shouldn't cry anymore My dear princess, I will take your place Destiny decided, we must not continue If you were evil, there will be no problems Your blood in me will be And the tyrant will die A long time ago, far from here There was a kingdom, inhuman vain and vile In that place I could only without hesitation My dear and adorable twin rule Although the world goes against the two (At the end the time was agreed upon) With you by my side I will always walk (The bells have already started their function) Never forget that I will always take care of you (And you without looking at anyone around you) And see you smile I will always wish (You recited my lines without a trace of fear) My dear princess, I will always be here Your faithful servant I am, brothers at heart I came to the world to give you total protection I will give my life for you The tyrant will be me If I could manage to be born again I would ask to play with you again Add to playlist Size TO TO Chords To print To correct