#okay it doesn’t show a couple lines at the end if i include a read more apparently so that’s weird

[clocks-are-round]

Z = zzz’s (bed sharing/one bed) with simmons please :3

Red Team Sardines

“This has to be some kind of mistake.” Simmons stared at the singular bed in the hotel room.

“Huh? What’s wrong?” Grif tugged his suitcase in after him. Bumbling on its wheels, it loudly slapped the door frame and closing door in succession. Grif got it into the room with another strong tug from his deceptively muscular— Focus, Simmons!

Simmons cleared his throat. He gestured. “There’s only one bed.”

“There’s room for both of us. Just stay on your side.”

“You sprawl and… hug. In your sleep.”

“So?”

“Sarge has the other keycard.” No way did he want Sarge and Donut walking in on them like that.

“Point taken. I dunno, you could sleep on the floor?”

“I think I need to have a word with whoever’s in charge. I’m sure it was two twin beds. Why would Sarge book a single bed room when there are four of us?” Simmons noticed Grif eying the bed like an old friend. “Don’t get too comfortable, we’ll be in a new room soon.”

Simmons ran over a few possible conversations in his head. The lady at the desk was really pretty, and that was sure to trip him up. He needed to be prepared before he marched over and inevitably got flustered after a few words.

“Uh huh. Sure, Simmons.” Grif strolled over to one side of the bed, his bulky dingy suitcase sending Simmons’ perfectly shiny metallic one careening just as he took a step toward the door— Simmons yelped as his crotch sank too far into the suitcase handle. “Son of a bitch!”

Grif winced sympathetically. “Ooh, been there, buddy.”

“I don’t,” Simmons grimaced, “have as much feeling there since my surgery, but yeah. Not great.” Simmons staggered over to the other side of the bed and flopped onto his back.

“Sarge did something in the front too?”

“No! I mean— it doesn’t matter. Still hurts like a bitch.”

Grif flopped onto his back on his own side of the bed.

Simmons squeezed his eyes shut as he waited out the pain. He thought every curse word he could think of. “This wouldn’t have happened if you were more careful with your stupid suitcase,” Simmons fumed.

Grif lazily turned to meet Simmons’ eyes. Their faces were less than a foot apart. Grif raised his eyebrows. “What? You want me to kiss it better?”

Simmons’ face heated. He grabbed a pillow and whacked Grif. Simmons glanced at the door. It was still closed, at least.

“Yeah, yeah.” Grif pulled the pillow under his head. “There we go.” He sighed. “Much better.”

The door swung open, Sarge wearing his all-red hat, shirt, and shorts that made him look more like a fire hydrant than usual— Grif had pointed this out earlier; Simmons would never say that to Sarge’s face.

Sarge was holding his duffel bag. “Simmons. Grif. Sounds like there’s been a mix-up with the rooms.”

“No kidding,” Grif said, lounging comfortably while Simmons— who had bolted up the moment the handle turned— sat on the edge.

Donut dropped his obnoxiously pink sequined bag on the floor “Turns out we only got ONE room. Total!”

Simmons blinked. “What.”

“All the other rooms are full tonight, so I couldn’t get us another one. We’ll just have to sleep in a pile like a bunch of baby rabbits.”

“Aww I love baby bunnies!”

“I even asked them to check the back. No dice.”

Grif scooted up to a sit. “You asked them to check the back of the hotel for… what? More rooms they forgot to put on the shelves?”

“Sleepover time!” Donut ran into the room and hopped onto the bed.

Grif frowned. “Donut, if you steal the blanket from me tonight, I will smother you with a pillow in your sleep.”

“Woof. Someone’s tense. Ooh, anyone want a massage?”

Everyone groaned.

“Oh, don’t be shy you guys!”

——

Sarge prodded Grif’s arm. “Move your ass, Grif. I’m not gonna sleep on top of you and you sure as hell ain’t gonna sleep on top of me.”

Grif shifted position and crossed his arms as Sarge sidled in next to him. “How are we all supposed to fit in one bed?”

Sarge nodded his head over towards Grif. “Simmons, get over on the other side of Grif.”

“We’d be crammed so close to each other though.” Simmons tried not to think too much about that. A red face was the last thing he needed when he was already dealing with a bunch of stupid butterflies. What was he, gay? (Author's note: yes.)

“So?” Donut said, “It’s not like you’ve never touched each other. You two have slept together.”

“What??” Simmons and Grif both said. Simmons felt Grif tense as he did.

Grif quickly added, “I don’t know WHAT you’re talking about, Donut.”

“What?” Donut wiggled away from the edge of the bed, cramming Simmons closer to Grif. “Didn’t you share a bed last time we went on a Red Team vacation? You can sleep together one more night, jeez.”

Simmons’ mind had immediately jumped to the euphemism but this was Donut. He dropped innuendos constantly. It was best to try to ignore it.

“Somebody get the light,” Sarge said. “We start hunting Grif at the crack of dawn.”

Simmons elbowed Donut, who elbowed him back.

“The light,” Simmons hissed.

“Ohhhh.” Donut obliged.

“Can it be the crack of the afternoon?” Grif asked. “Also, can’t someone else be the victim first for once?”

“No, it’s alphabetical. You first, numbnuts.”

Grif grumbled. “Fine.” He rolled over. “Stupid alphabet.”

The room was now dark, but Simmons was extremely aware of the two men sardining him. Oh god there was so much body heat and so little space. He was going to wake up uncomfortable and sweaty. Or worse, nuzzling into Grif or Donut thinking they were a pillow in his sleep. But, counterpoint, he really didn’t want to sleep on the floor. He’d at least try to put up with it. At least for tonight.

A few minutes passed. Sarge had already started snoring.

“Wait, Donut’s D!”

“What about my D?”

“Everyone shut. Up.”

#:3 #it’s being weird and glitchy ;w; hopefully it posts alright #okay it doesn’t show a couple lines at the end if i include a read more apparently so that’s weird #red vs blue #rvb #rvb my fics #//the husbands #//*windows error sound* #//mr steal yo snacks #//*cocks shotgun* #//*the tinkling of champagne glasses *

[archivists-plus-one]

So I've had a running theory for TMAGP for a while now and I think today's episode gave me just enough to somewhat solidify it... 

(Special thanks to @clare-89 for helping out with this!)

Spoilers for The Magnus Protocol up to + including episode 19 below:

Chester - Sulphur (The Soul)

Okay so my theory is that each of the TTS Gang represent/are connected to each of the three alchemical primes, and this is what keeps FR3-D1 'balanced'. And I'm pretty sure I've connected the dots...

I think this is the most obvious of the three - he has had every single case that has been categorised as “transformation” so far, and the other cases he’s had have all related back to The Magnus Institute, been very ‘Eye’ orientated, or mentioned Hilltop Road or interdimensional travel (And the doppelganger case did say it was in Oxford…). Transformation also has a deeper meaning - in alchemy, it is believed that the human soul has the capacity to transform, and the process of doing so is very similar to what happens on an alchemist’s bench. 

Norris - Salt (The Body)

So it was while I was putting this together that I realised that Norris has actually only had four cases so far. His first one, the first case we heard in the show, was about a reanimated body which no longer talked or acted like the person it was.  If that doesn’t say it’s a body lacking a soul or a mind, I don’t know what does. The second one was the first with the infection in episode 3. This one, to me, could have been ‘The Mind’, but it is quite literally about a person losing his mind, and his body being taken over by whatever this weird plant infection is. The liminal space episode has many soulless, mindless ‘bodies’ acting as ‘NPCs’ in the services. And I think the Mr Bonzo case is quite self explanatory.

Augustus - Mercury (The Mind) 

Okay, so we have only had two Augustus cases, and at first I mostly gave him ‘Mercury’ because it was the last one and he had to fit into it somehow, but looking closer at the cases…he does. The violin case from episode 4 had a couple of instances of ‘mind control’, to a degree - The first being when the writer’s tutor is compelled to jump out of the moving carriage, and the second when the writer plays the violin and it appears to compel everybody to murder each other. The case from episode 18, with the person building a ‘house’ in their mind, is, again, also pretty self explanatory. 

But the thing that pulled this all together for me from episode 19 was actually a line from Colin:

If we are to believe that Chester is connected to sulphur, this would absolutely make sense - Sam has been becoming too obsessed with listening to Chester’s cases, particularly about The Magnus Institute, and he has been warned multiple times that it’ll “drive him mad”.

He also says that the world will end with too much mercury. Maybe this is why Augustus is only ‘allowed’ to read out a few cases? And if we’re running with the jmj theory that Augustus is Jonah….well, we’ve seen how too much of him can end the world. And Jonah did have the ability to see into people’s minds.

Another interesting thing here is that “Stasi” was the secret police agency of the German Democratic Republic (East Germany) between 1950 and 1990, and was both hated and feared. Knowing that FR3-D1 is written with German source code, I can’t help but wonder why they would have commissioned the program, and exactly why the OIAR have access to it. And exactly what really happened to Klaus…

Of course, as always, I entirely expect to be completely wrong about everything, but... What am I if not a nerd.

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #tmagp spoilers #tmagp 19 #tmagp theory

[morallyinept]

A full transcribe of ZACH WELLISON'S dialogue/lines from the TV show BROTHERS & SISTERS.

Includes full dialogue, and dialogue from any deleted/additional scenes available.

I've created this as a point of reference when writing for Pedro's characters, and I hope you find it useful. Even if you just want to read the dialogue. 🖤

FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE

☝🏻Dialogue has been fully transcribed by myself using reference to original scripts (if available), audio subtitles and using my own two ears. Therefore, mistakes can be made, however I have tried to be as fully accurate as I can. If you spot an obvious mistake, please kindly let me know. Where audio is not clear, I have marked with *inaudible* Scenes are separated for ease of reference.

FULL SCRIPT DIALOGUE: (ALL EPISODES - ZACH WAS IN 2 EPISODES IN SEASON 5)

EP 15 S5 BRODY

Yep. Vista Hermosa Park.

What country?

That’s no fun, name a country?

Norway doesn’t have a president, it’s a constitutional monarchy. 

Semper Fi, five-oh from. 

Iraq. 

Gosh. We’re practically brothers. 

See that tree? That. He jumped me outta nowhere. 

Maybe I got a swing in or two. 

If people sneak up on me, I’m gonna defend myself. 

Well I feel a little lightheaded. Maybe if you give me a sixty pound pack and I slung a buddy over my shoulder, maybe I can make it. 

__________________

It hurts. Did you come here to check on my head? 

What, are you spying on me? 

And what did they tell you at the VA? 

I’ve been on a list for a year. They stop putting names on a list because it never moves because there are no programs for me. 

That's if I have a drug problem. They have programs for that, but I don’t have a drug problem. I have a place to sleep problem. I considered getting a drug problem, but I don't really like drugs, and I’d have to steal things to pay for them, which could solve my place to sleep problem, only jail… isn’t a good option for me. Thanks for trying. 

Give it up, you can’t help. 

You know what, bro?! You could end up with some issues of your own if you don’t get outta my face!! You understand my problem now?

__________________

What’s up with you, man? Why… don’t you know you could get killed doing that?! 

No. Don't be stupid. 

What is wrong with you, seriously?

__________________

Hey. Is this a bad time?

Yeah, sure. 

__________________

EP 16 S5 HOME IS WHERE THE FORT IS

My support group ran over. 

Let me go get my apron and I’m all yours. 

Alright, I’m officially on the clock, where do you need me?

You got it, boss. 

__________________

Justin. You alright?

You sure? Alright ‘cause, it’s like, the third time this has happened. 

No. Never mind. 

It’s not my problem I’m worried about, it’s yours. 

I was there too, remember? Three tours, just like you. I know what you’re going through. The only difference between my problem and yours, is you got a place to hide. 

Yeah, that’s what I kept telling myself my first couple of weeks on the street. And now here I am, two years later, and I’m still living out of a duffel bag. Avoid it all you want, man. But eventually, it’s gonna catch up with you. 

__________________

Hey, man. Dan called. 

You okay?

Yeah, Dan said. You wanna talk about it? 

Okay.

And do you?

You mean until I showed up?

So, you’ve been trying to save me. I’m the straw that broke the paramedic’s back? 

Justin. It’s cool. Dan told me about this building manager gig. Gotta go meet the owner, but he said the job is mine if I want it. So, consider me saved, okay? 

But what about you, what are you gonna do?

Game? Trust me, not even you can save the Clippers at this point. 

Yeah, it’s pretty bad. 

__________________

FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE

#pedro pascal #zach wellison #pedro pascal characters #zach wellison brothers and sisters #brothers and sisters #PPCU #zach wellison dialogue

[absolutebl]

10 Sunshine/Sunshine AKA cinnamon roll couple BL

A note: usually one half of the sunshine is a bit more quiet and introverted than the other, but they are both still sunny sweeties. Side dishes not included. 

1. My Ride

Thai 2022 Gaga

Thai BL grew up with this pulp - a truly lovely and special little show featuring mature explorations of relationships using one of the softest, sweetest and most innocent friends to lovers vehicles. Kindly, overworked doctor meets broken-hearted motorcycle taxi driver in an “other side of the tracks” slow burn romance. The support cast is excellent, making for great friendship groups and family dynamics. With honest queer rep that adds to, but doesn’t impede the story, and genuine conversation about the nature of class, wealth, and classism, not to mention communication, honesty, and respect for boundaries, you can’t go wrong with this show. In other news, I am a sucker for a single dimple. Full review here.

2. Vice Versa

Thai 2022 YouTube

Jimmy is insanely charismatic and takes up all the air in (the proverbial cinematic) room, but I warmed up to Sea eventually. As a couple they read as more teasing and brotherly than sexy, but that’s GMMTV’s brand for you. I enjoyed the concept of this show (I’m big into magical realism and skewed reality - see my adoration for Color Rush) but JittiRain’s plot was contrived and weak (normal for them). Look, here’s the thing, flaws and all I pretty much spent this entire show smiling.

3. My Only 12%

Thai 2022 iQIYI

Y-novel adaptation (author Afterday - Bad Buddy) and strong little BL romance (tailor made for SantaEarth) about holding onto first love and childhood, but it’s buried under waffling family drama and formless side characters so that it took a lot of digging to get to - still I recommend it for the killer softly domestic couple chemistry.

4. About Youth

Taiwan 2022 Gaga

A truly lovely little coming of age high school BL with a classic YA low drama but high angst and an earnest depth. I didn’t even mind the singing, and that’s saying a lot. A weak seme/uke dynamic but tons of BL tropes (both rare in a high school setting but common for Taiwan) makes this one feel both sweetly and colored by an almost real world authenticity and grit. Full review here.

5. Ghost Host Ghost House

Thai 2022 YouTube?

This is light horror combined with family drama built around a well executed BL trough-line that felt honestly queer with fantastic chemistry from the lead pair. (I hope that we see more of them.) Pluem delivers the softest most seductive krap ever, Tod Techit (Kewin) is one of the prettiest humans on the planet, and watching these boys flirt over noodles is an unalloyed pleasure. Use of I/you pronouns is super interesting and cute as well. For me, personally, the surrounding cast, premise, and story didn’t resonate but if you like a touch of gothic in your BL this might appeal.

6. Dear Doctor, I'm Coming for Your Soul

Thai 2022 iQIYI

This is a romance between a doctor trying to save his patients and a reaper who is both his enemy and (eventual) lover (basically the genius premise of a gay Doom at Your Service). High concept looks good on you, Thailand. It’s lovely to see KarnNat back on screen together and they are still great, and Karn is just as painfully beautiful as ever. I enjoyed this one more than it’s ending deserved, and the best I can say is that it’s not strictly HEA but if you’re okay with Life: Love on the Line, you’ll be okay with this BL. It’s set up well, there’s no surprise unpleasantness like HIStory 3: The BL that shall not be named. Full Review here.

7. Secret Crush On You

Thai 2022 YouTube

Formerly call “The Stalker” for a reason. Highest cringe factor in the biz mixed with flashes of unparalleled genius and insanely good representation of multiple different kinds of queerness makes this entirely unique content we’ve never seen before in BL, the opposite of sanitized gay, like a naked glittery hello kitty doll having kinky sex. I was ALL OVER THE PLACE about this show. SCOY drove me nuts and made me bush but had flashes of unparalleled genius. It had a ton of things I really did not like (e.g. the humor was crass and awkward, and the whole stalker thing was extremely stomach churning, I suffer from bad second hand embarrassment). It also had things that really worked: (e.g. all the queers are INTO each other, it very Taiwanese feeling - in that there was no doubt that the characters want to bone). Honestly, if you can make it through the first half and survive the never ending cringe-factor that IS this show, the second half is entirely unique and kinda special. But I, personally, could never really like this show for all there were bits I loved. Full review of mixed feels.

8. The 8.2 Second Rule

AKA 8.2 Byo no Hosoku

Japan 2022 microfilm YouTube

Very short JBL about a schoolboy who makes magic candy for a series of handsome classmates, questing for a soulmate. Each ep is a new love interest and while the sweets help others, they keep failing to bring our sunshine the love he wants. Of course, he’s overlooking someone. The lead was very good and the theme, cooking, and eventually romance were charming, but it is a series of BL vignettes not really a cohesive story, no kisses or anything. Japan doesn’t give us sweet BL this short very often, so it’s nice to see them try out the style.

9. Ai Long Nhai

Thai 2022 iQIYI

Look, this show was just a typical Thai BL university pulp about a confident gay and a clueless manic pixie dream boy. It had potential, chemistry, and earnestness going for it, but no plot and not enough attention side dishes. In the end, it was boring and you know I always rate boring lower than hot messes (because at least the hot mess TRIED). That said, Ai Long Nhai is better than your average Thai pulp, nothing happens but at least the nothing was mostly shirtless and there were GREAT gay dads (IRL husbands Arm & Porsch). 

10. Coffee Melody

Thai 2022 Viki

Stars Pavel (my love) as a cafe owner (Forth in 2 Moons 2) and Benz as a composer (Call it What You Want). This should have been my kind of BL - on the fluffy end of the spectrum plus honestly queer. Unfortunately, the slow pacing, manufactured angst, odd secondary story arcs, and a selfishly immature unlikeable wet dishcloth main character, Yi, meant its flaws outweighed its charm. Jean (flame on snark fairy) is MINE, I love him so much but in the end neither he nor Pavel in an apron could save this show for me. It’s not bad. It’s not good either. Ultimately so forgettable I’ve probably already forgotten it.

BONUS Strongberry 

Please Tell Me So

AKA That's my Mr.Right!

Korea 2021 microfilm YouTube

Cute barista (played by Han Hyun Jun star of Love Class) has a crush on his customer, musters up the courage to ask him out.

Every list should come with a Strongberry bonus, like a cherry on top... 

This lists dated Dec 2022, not responsible for keeping it updated. But if you have more to add or ones I have forgotten please comment or repost with additions! Keep the dream alive. 

(source)

#sunshine/sunshine #bl pairings #bl couple type #bl archetypes #Thai BL #My Ride the series #gagaoolala #Vice Versa #jimmy nation #GMMTV #JittiRain #My Only 12% #Afterday #Ghost Host Ghost House #tod techit #Dear Doctor I'm Coming for Your Soul #Doom at Your Service but make it gay af #KarnNat #Secret Crush On You #billyseng #Ai Long Nhai #Coffee Melody #rakutan viki #pavel phoom #Taiwanese BL #About Youth #Japanese BL #The 8.2 Second Rule #8.2 Byo no Hosoku #Strongberry

[warrioreowynofrohan]

I rewatched the Alistair Sim (1950s) movie of A Christmas Carol tonight and wanted to jot down some thoughts.

The first part of the movie, up to and including Marley’s Ghost, is extremely faithful to the book - to the point of replicating most of the original dualogue, and also adding some of the lines from Dickens’ narration to the dialogue. About the only addition is Scrooge harshly refusing a debtor who begs for a few more days to pay, something which is in line with Scrooge’s typical behaviour - as shown by the couple in the Christmas Yet to Come part of the book, who are relieved by his death because they are unlikely to meet with another creditor who is so merciless - but which is not directly depicted in the book. There’s even a scene where a blind man’s dog pulls him up an alley away from Scrooge, like the narration in the book describes! And the change in music from Bob Cratchit joyfully heading home on Christmas Eve to Scrooge taking his “melancholy dinner in his usual melancholy tavern” perfectly conveys the change in mood in the book between those two scenes. The ghosts mourning that they cannot help the poor woman, at the end of the Marley sequence, are also included.

Oh, the other addition in that section is Scrooge’s statement that his nephew married “against his [Scrooge’s] will”, which is not specifically from the book.

The Christmas Past section is the part where the adaptation makes the most changes. Fan is an adult (or at least is, like Scrooge, in her late teens) when she comes to get Scrooge from the school; his relationship with her is given more centrality as he says she is the only one who ever cared about him, and that if he is not to be lonely then she must live forever. She is also shown dying after giving birth to Fred, and it is said that Scrooge’s mother also died giving birth to him, which his father resented him for. Also, Fan on her deathbed asks Scooge to look after Fred, but only after he’s left the room, so he doesn’t hear her; the moment he hears it is when we see the present-day Scrooge express real remorse. None of this is from the book - Scrooge’s mother clearly did not die giving birth to him in the book, as his sister Fan is much younger than him there. (Also, like all other adaptations I have seen, Scrooge’s memories of the joy he found in reading during his lonely Christmases at school are omitted.)

Scrooge’s business career is also expanded upon, with him (after Fan’s death, which is thereby implied to have embittered him) leaving Fezziwig’s employ for that of an unscrupulous man who also employs Mr. Marley; Fezziwig going out of business; and Scrooge later buying a controlling share in his unscrupulous employer’s company. I can see why the movie does this. The change lets it more dramatically show Scrooge’s change from the young man who worked for Fezziwig to the harsher, more ambitious, more avaricious man he became, rather than us hearing that only from his fiancée. For this reason, I’m more okay with this expansion than I am with the changes around Fan; I think the latter too heavily frames Scrooge’s later mindset as due to grief turned to bitterness, whereas in the book it’s more about greed borne of the desire for worldly respect and prestige.

Likewise, like The Muppet Christmas Carol, the movie shows Scrooge and his later-fiancée (here called Alice, not Belle) at Fezziwig’s party - a change which lets us see more of the relationship than just its end.

We also get a (rather unnecessary, IMO) deathbed-repentance scene from Marley, where hetells Scrooge they were wrong and to save himself, but Scrooge does not understand. There is nothing of the sort in the book.

There’s also another interesting shift. In the movie, Fezziwig says he’d rather go out of business than adopt the “new methods” of doing business, and then he in fact does go out of business. Alice says that when she became engaged to “they were both poor and content to be so,” full stop. In the book she says, “we were both poor and content to be so, until we could improve our fortunes by patient industry”. In a way, this feels like the movie grappling with a question surrounding the book - can one run a successful business in an ethical way? can one become well-off ethically? - that the book itself does not take up; but the movie ends without returning to the question and Scrooge’s later reformation indicates that yes, one can. Also in this vein, where the book shows Scrooge’s fiancée later on happily married with a houseful of children, the movie shows her caring for poor people on Christmas in something like a homeless shelter/food kitchen, which further dramatizes the differences between the paths they have chosen, that of avarice and that of charity.

The section with Christmas Present is very close to the book - the Cratchit family dinner again uses much of the original dialogue, and also integrates parts of Dickens’ narration into the dialogue. Christmas Present is almost exactly as the book describes him, and as the original illustrations in the book shown him, and even the celebration of the “miners, who labour in the bowels of the earth” is shown. Fred’s Christmas party is shown, and even the minor characters of Tupper and the woman he’s courting from the book (though in the book she is described as the ‘fat sister’ and here she is not fat). Fred’s joke about Scrooge is omitted and his goodwill to him is emphasized (the opposite of Muppet Christmas Carol, which focuses on the joke and on no one liking Scrooge; I think this versiondoes better in that respect).

The section with Christmas Yet To Come is similar to the book (though it starts off with Tiny Tim’s death - a good choice, I think, as it keeps all the material surrounding Scrooge’s death as a single sequence). The debtor family who are relieved at Scrooge’s death are left out, but the rest is similar to the book, and the rage-and-bone shop scene conserves a lot of the origibal dialogue word-for-word. This movie is where Mrs. Dilber as the charwoman - a small change from the book - and the expansion of her character comes from, and she is a good comic character with several great lines. The scene in the bedroom with the body is omitted, which I think is a necessity of film - even if Scrooge failed to recognize his own charwoman and his own curtains, film would make it too implausible that he could fail to recognize his own room.

Muppet Christmas Carol has a much better and spookier Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come than the 1951 film has - the faceless void is very unsettling, whereas in 1951 the spirit is clearly just a person with a black sheet of fabric over them (in one scene you can see the person’s face through the fabric). But that’s the difference between special effects in the 1950s and the 1990s.

Scrooge’s delight at finding he is still alive is dramatic verging on hysterical and gives some more funny moments, and, as in the book, he sends the turkey to the Cratchits’ anonymously and then goes to visit his nephew’s party (rather than showing up at the Cratchits’ with the turkey in person as in the Muppet version’s crowd song). And the depuction of him chuckling as he sends the turkey and writes the note is direct from the book. His apology to Fred’s wife feels like it has too much emotional emphasis given that he has never met her before; it’s as though the movie is treating her as a proxy for the apologies he would like to make to Fan and to Alice. But the scene on the whole is lovely, and the ending with Bob Cratchit is very good.

On the whole, this is a good adaptation - better than the Muppet one in some ways (particularly the Christmas Present scene, where it focuses on others’ celebrations as well as how Scrooge has made the Cratchits’ lives harder, whereas the Muppet one focuses on Scrooge being disliked). Its main weaknesses in my opinion are 1) an overemphasis on the role of Fan’s death in the younger Scrooge’s downward moral trajectory; and 2) Scrooge’s desire to change not coming until very later in the film, when he sees the callous reaction to his death.

I would recommend this adaptation to anyone who hasn’t seen it - it’s up there with the Muppet one as one of the best that has been made, and I was amazed at how many lines from the narration they had added to the dialogue, and how much of the atmosphere of the narration they captured (as one example, Bob is actually shown trying to warm himself at the candle). It’s available both in black and white and in a colourized version (as in, they later came along and physically coloured in the film reels; I can’t imagine how much work that must have been!).

#a christmas carol #dickens december #charles dickens #ebenezer scrooge #alistair sim

[metal-requiem]

If you would please give us divine intervention au plot!!

i ABSOLUTELY will thank you SO MUCH for asking (not sarcasm). sorry in advance but i have been unable to think about literally anything else for three days. i cannot stop rotating these two in my head. long post so buckle up

As for Elesa and Emmet, they were kind of just dragging along and keeping each other afloat for a few years. Emmet was running himself ragged keeping both the singles and doubles lines running, because if he stopped moving he knew he wouldn’t be able to start up again. Elesa was taking on extra work and occasionally running the multi line with Emmet. If she’s not working, she’s thinking, and if she’s thinking, she’s spiraling - so she keeps working. They were mostly both just trying to keep busy while holding out hope that the cops would find Ingo. Both of them refuse to grieve for someone that isn’t dead. At some point around the eight-ish month mark Elesa just sort of. stopped going home and informally move into the twins' house. She starts to hate quiet (the kind that comes with being alone, at least). She stays on the couch. (i see the trio as more of a sibling dynamic btw so that’s what everything should be read as)

The day the officials closed Ingo’s case and declared him dead (which went much longer than usual - around 4 years - just because of how high profile the case was), Elesa came home to Emmet working on research on multiple possible leads at once and didn’t think twice before taking some off of his hands. Emmet is the one who realizes (two days into their bender) that they should call out of work. It’s the first time either of them have used extended vacation time. Also, it’s worth noting that Emmet has not gone nearly as batshit as like, common fanon (which I wholeheartedly support btw i DO think he should be allowed to make his way to heaven through violence to fight god) because Elesa is right there with him from the start. He’s living with another human who has ALSO been steadily reaching the end of her rope at the same time as him. So, like, they’re socialized. More or less.

So basically, Zekrom tunes in to these two humans running entirely on ideals, spite, and coffee and decides this is absolutely a storyline it wants to follow. It's like a shitty soap opera you start watching simply because it's on, but then twenty hours later of straight consumption later you've become irreversibly attached to these characters and fully immersed in their drama. It has a selfless reason for everything it does, including (especially) the more selfish-appearing acts, such as annoying Emmet or purposefully withholding information, since despite its more chaotic nature, it DOES wish to see these two succeed in finding their brother. Especially after it starts to actually like them.

I’m thinking Zekrom is just kinda vibing for a couple weeks, keeping the two on track while also subtly slowing them down. It tries to kick Elesa off the couch and she wins THAT fight by a landslide, to which Zekrom pretty much just goes “okay you’re my trainer now. now find me somewhere to sleep.” Then when the lake trio show up in Unova, Zekrom puts Emmet and Elesa on their trail. It can’t like, straight up tell them where Ingo is (because it doesn’t know) or send them back in time (because that isn’t within its power and also it doesn’t know), but it CAN be a homie. A bro. It’s got connections.

Shenanigans ensue. At some point, they stop thinking of themselves as “Emmet and Elesa” and they become “Emmet and Elesa and Zekrom”, just in time for Bad Things to happen :)

This isn’t actually like, a plot thing, but I like to imagine that Reshiram feels Zekrom disappear from the timeline and goes, “oh you have GOT to be fucking kidding me.”

Which reminds me; clarification, just because I know what the expectation is: Reshiram isn’t involved in this. I see Zekrom as the more social of the two, so it has no problem hopping on board another human’s train so soon, but Reshiram got woken up and then immediately had to work with some kid to keep some OTHER kid from using Zekrom to end the world. It’s on good terms with the champion, but it has no interest in interacting with any humans for the next century, except for like, Sunday afternoon tea with the champion. So, no, Emmet doesn’t get Reshiram. Elesa grabs the Zekrom aesthetic as soon as humanely possible (she needs a new outfit for travel anyway), and if need be, they say it’s her pokemon, but it’s more the third member of their little group rather than one of the humans’ pokemon. The pokeball is just for convenience’s sake, and the moment Zekrom wants to leave it, it will. So think of it more like “creatures of various levels of deification keep moving into Emmet’s house and NONE of them are asking him first” rather than “Elesa gets one of the legendary dragons and Emmet gets jack shit”

Fuck this got long lmao. Anyway, they’ll find Ingo, and it’ll have a happy ending. Eventually.

#divine intervention au #nimbasa trio #submas #pokemon #zekrom #pla #subway master emmet #elesa #AHA YOU FOOL YOU JUST ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD: asking me about my blorbos #but yea sorry about the infodump #I Need To Share Or I Will Die

[estellamiraiauthor]

The Stars May Rise and Fall: The Annotated Re-read (Chapter 24)

This is another LONG chapter, and again I think it’s interesting to see how my writing style sort of evolved during the writing of this book. Of course I went back and edited the whole thing many, many times, but I didn’t really notice the way the chapters get longer and more complex as we go, and even if I had, it’s not necessarily something that needs to be corrected. But in the first half, basically, each scene is it’s own chapter, but chapter 24 feels more like an episode of a TV show, with multiple scenes and plot lines going on.

As always, spoilers under the cut!

It also introduces a couple of new conflicts after the relative peacefulness of 23. Teru has decided that he needs to tell the band about his relationship with Rei, since it is affecting them too, but he almost doesn’t because Minori is in a pretty terrible mood in the first scene here. I do wish I had kind of introduced a LITTLE more foreshadowing about the family problems that eventually lead to Minori deciding to quit the band, but there’s a little of that going on here. We can assume the phone call he gets in the middle of the band meeting is related to that, and I think his frustration with Rei wanting to include Saki’s song on the album and then not even showing up at the meeting to discuss it is related, too. He knows this album might be his last chance to make it as a musician, and Minori is a good enough composer AND businessperson to know that Rei is better at BOTH of those things than he is… in other words, working with Rei is his last, best chance, and it understandably annoys him when Rei doesn’t do everything he possibly could to make it a success.

But Teru does come out anyway. Looking back at this, I kind of wonder why I didn’t have him talk to Rei about it first… he probably should have, I guess. But I guess I didn’t think about it at the time because Rei IS “out”? Maybe not specifically to the band members, whom he doesn’t know that well, but I don’t think he’s actually HIDDEN his sexuality for a long time. So Teru isn’t really outing him, per se (again, he sort of is to the band, but because Rei is openly gay to anyone who cares to ask, it’s not the same as outing someone who’s closeted). And Rei DOESN’T mind, in the end, that Teru does it… but I guess if Teru were a little more worldly he probably would’ve realized that he should’ve asked first, just in case. 

The band’s reactions probably aren’t too surprising. Seika already knew, and as someone who’s been there, done that, is proud of Teru for coming out. Nao doesn’t know Teru that well, and doesn’t really have a reason to care (unless he was a raging homophobic or something, so at least we know he’s not). Yasu is… just being Yasu, I think. He’s an allocishet guy, and he’d assumed that his best friend was too, so his mind’s a little blown. It takes him awhile to get used to the idea, but he’ll be okay with it in a few chapters. He sort of jokingly asks how old Rei is… Yasu’s defense mechanism is always to kind of joke around, and while this isn’t particularly funny, I think he’s pretending to care about something that everyone knows he doesn’t really care about, because the questions he REALLY wants to ask are ones he needs to really think about first to make sure he’s not being rude.

Minori’s reaction is a little more complex. Teru tells Rei that night that he seems angry, but his initial reply is just kind of curt. I don’t think he has a problem with Teru being gay or even with him being with Rei, but again, it goes back to the idea that this is the band’s last chance in Minori’s eyes, and now he knows that choices are being made for emotional reasons that have nothing to do with good creative or business sense. I think he also feels a little like he’s being pushed out of his own band; it’s sort of become the Teru and Rei Show, and this is maybe where Minori decides he isn’t really needed anymore.

There’s also a passing moment earlier in this scene where Minori mentions a couple of new planned concerts: this big countdown on New Year’s Eve, and a “three-man” on January 5. A three-man is just a show with three bands instead of the usual six or seven, which means they each get a longer set but also have a higher ticket sales quota before they make a profit, so it’s a good indicator of success.

Super observant readers MAY notice that the date of this three-man is also the anniversary of Saki’s death, and that the show is NOT at Rock Eden, meaning that Rei probably isn’t going to attend… Teru doesn’t make the connection until later, though.

After all of this, Teru goes home and has a fight with Rei… there’s not much to add beyond what’s on the page; I think he’s just sick of having to carry out all of Rei’s arguments with Minori on his behalf, and wants Rei to come to the meetings and rehearsals himself. On Rei’s part, I think he’s partly starting to feel jealous (which he’ll admit to later on) now that the band is starting to have some success, and starting to feel some of the physical effects of overwork, which is both causing him pain and making him worry about his own future. So even though they’re only partly frustrated with each other, they say some pretty terrible things to one another here. 😢

The next scene is Teru telling Kiyomi that he’s dating Rei… not everyone loves this. I know a lot of people don’t really understand why Kiyomi thought the relationship was so serious when they’d only been on a few dates… and honestly that reaction blew my mind, because this scene is PARTLY autobiographical. It was in the Kabukicho Doutor, not the Shibuya Starbucks, but I once showed up for what I THOUGHT was a coffee date with a guy I’d been out with a few times and REALLY liked, only for him to tell me he couldn’t “hang out with me” anymore because he’d gotten MARRIED since our last date. Like Teru here, he CLEARLY knew that I considered the relationship more serious than he did (otherwise he would’ve just not contacted me again, right? No need for the one-on-one confession?), and while I have to admit I pretty must just cried and left, rather than spilling coffee and ripping off jewelry like Kiyomi does, when she says “Give it all back”? That’s what I remember thinking at the time… that he’d taken something from me in the emotional energy I’d been putting into him while he’d clearly been having another more serious relationship all along. (I later found out he’d met his wife the same night he met me and just kinda… dated us both until he decided which one he wanted to focus on.)

So. Kiyomi isn’t being super mature here or anything but that wasn’t the point. Yet again, my fictional book is not a manual for how to have healthy relationships! 😬

Kiyomi does actually show up to work the merch tables at the band’s next show, which IS pretty mature of her. 99% of the reason she’s working for them in the first place is to get closer to Teru, but even when that falls through she does show up to work one last show and tell Minori she quits in person. She’s still really young and inexperienced and can do some really socially inept things, but this was supposed to be Kiyomi growing a little.

Teru’s also really worried about Rei during the show… this is where we sort of start to see the effects of Rei not taking great care of himself. He blames the weather, which is probably a part of it, and he definitely definitely didn’t help anything by falling into a table during the fight with Teru earlier in the chapter, but he’s also got about a million repetitive stress injuries that are definitely getting worse as the result of working on the album 24/7. And I think this TERRIFIES Rei. Up to now, he’s at least been able to rely on his left hand, but because he’s overusing it to walk with a cane, to type and play the keyboard all day, he’s starting to realize that he might not have that forever, either… so he’s starting to see a future in which Teru gets more and more successful while he gets more and more disabled. And that’s understandably scary. Of course, we all end up disabled someday (I mean, unless we die young, and that’s not exactly better.), and Teru is nothing but genuinely worried about Rei… but Rei is beginning to see the possibility that he might not be able to help Teru in the same way forever, that he might be more of a burden on Teru instead… and that obviously influences the awful, awful thing he’s about to do.

#The stars may rise and fall #Annotated #phantom retelling #writing process #i miss writing these disaster boys

[sairanarmi]

Jurassic World/Star Wars Clone Wars

Inspired by Harry Potter is the Blue Raptor by Hcokey_Lover31

The Force causes 5 clones to be reincarnated into the velociraptors in Jurassic World

Rex = Blue Jesse = Delta Kix = Charlie - not the youngest Echo = Echo - no scar; doesn't try to fight for dominance - second youngest Fives = Foxtrot- the youngest

It also makes them force sensitive (i.e. telepathic- no mind reading but projecting words; maybe empathic; not telekinetic).

+They call Owen Buir, and Barry Ba'vodu

Scenes I thought of

I. In the pig scene, they freeze and Kix goes forward and peers at Leon trying to see if he's injured, tilting his head and putting head up higher.

Owen and Barry get in and remove Leon before anything happens.

Hoskins tries to point this out and say that they would be great military assets.

Fives then tumbles into a plastic play structure in the pin and starts "crying" very loudly, the others quickly surround him and start nudging and crooning at him again very loudly.

Owen raises his eyebrows and says yes that is very definition discreet. That and the fact that they "loose" 95% of the pigs released. Owen doesn't even try to keep them from catching most of them anymore, they just don't catch them. That and most of the time it is only 2 to 3 of them hunting. Kix sits out the most. Rex joins most hunts because it reminds him of Ahsoka.

II. In the training videos in Fallen Kingdom Blue (Rex) isn't the only one to show empathy - maybe instead of peering at Owen's hands he rests his head on his shoulder and leans a bit. Delta (Jesse) starts "singing" "Stand by Me", Charlie (Kix) drops a box of Kleenex on Owen's head, Echo pulls a blanket off a nearby chair and pulls it over. Fives cocks his head a couple of different ways and then starts rolling around on the floor - "accidently" bumping into Owen. Or something like this. The only one I'm attached to is Kix dropping a box of Kleenex.

III.

In the Indominus Rex hunt, they fake agreeing with her. Then when she is far enough away they stop chasing everyone (no one is killed, there might be some scrapes - from falls and tree limbs). They disappear into the woods a regroup around Owen and Barry.

Rex is so frustrated with that plan he project to everyone in the woods "What kind of osik plan was that! I think shinnies straight off of Kamino could have come up with better. That thing was bigger than all of us combined!"

Either one of the other clones or Rex continuing "You know that di'kut Hoskins came up with this jaro plan"

They give up pretending not being human, but don't give their real names, they don't want any confusion. There's still confusion, voices male = bodies female. They call Owen Buir and Barry Ba'vode without explaining what those mean.

IV Come up with plan to get rit of Indominus, possibly tricking her close to Mosasaurus tank. IDK

At the end, every one (including security team that is alive because the raptors didn't kill them) is on the dock.

Fives goes "Okay now what Buir?"

Someone: How are you talking?

Clone: "IDK, Force Osik, same way we've been reborn into these bodies

Wait are you saying you were human.

Yes. -introducing themselves by stepping forward, then back in line with others. -no CT numbers until Fives says his name and explains he named himself because his CT number is CT-27-5555, explain they were clones

Owen: Wait you were male human clones and now you're female raptor clones, right

Unfortunately, Buir, yes.

Barry: What does buir and ba'vodu mean?

Clones: Uh, Buir is parent and Ba'vodu is parent's sibling. Mandoa is gender neutral so we've been talking mostly in it for our own sanity.

Owen: What about your first parent?

Clones: What parent?

They tell Hoskins that they will never fight another being’s war again.

#Jurassic World #star wars clone wars #captain rex #clone trooper fives #clone trooper echo #Owen Grady #Barry Sembène #clone medic kix #clone trooper jesse #fic prompt #free to good home #plot bunny

[shadowsong26x]

And several months later, we’re back with more of the BSG rewatch! This time covering the rest of S2.5 and also The Plan because Why Not.

The delay was in part because of miscellaneous non-rewatch related things, and in part because...you know, I think this is where I stalled the last time I did (or tried to do) a full rewatch, back in like 2015? And I think I know why--it’s because I’m not actually super fond of this half-season.

Like, don’t get me wrong. One of my favorite episodes is actually in this section, and every season/half-season/whatever of this show has At Least one episode that I don’t particularly like. And my least favorite episode isn’t even in this section (that’s coming in the back half of S3 and hoo boy am I still mad just thinking about it).

But.

There’s like...a whole cluster of episodes I’m not fond of, all bunched up together, lol. There’s Black Market, of course (which, my recollection of my thoughts on that episode are ‘this one has Potential but Lee was the wrong person to be doing this’ we’ll see how I feel this time); and also Sacrifice; and then there’s Significant Chunks of Lay Down Your Burdens (mostly relating to Chief); and while I don’t remember The Captain’s Hand being bad, exactly, I’ve been dreading it this time around because the B plot in the current political climate is going to be. Rough.

Anyway. That being said, once I’m past this section, it should go smoother both because I’ll be past this chunk and also I now have a DVD player I can plug into my laptop, so I won’t have to wait for a chunk of time when I’m dogsitting (for people who have access to Peacock streaming that I’m allowed to borrow). So hopefully, the Great BSG Rewatch of 2022 will in fact be completed in 2022. XD

Okay. All of that aside--I’m including The Plan in this chunk for some of the same reasons I included Razor in the last one, because I need it for Fic Purposes. Also, while there are the obvious Spoilers, it technically chronologically ends before the timeskip at the end of Lay Down Your Burdens.

My notes on the miniseries and Season 1 can be found here; and my notes on the first half of S2 (plus Resurrection Ship and Razor) can be found here.

As before, my notes contain spoilers because I have seen the full series before. I’ve copied over a lot of quotes I like, some with commentary, some with just Flailing. Also some plot/construction notes, and some notes to myself about the aforementioned fic (and a couple other self-indulgent AUs), which I have deleted. There might be a few I missed, though.

Also, warnings. Very Very important content warnings: genocide, suicide, intimate partner violence, torture, and sexual assault, as well as a lot of other Violence. There is also some content relating to abortions/reproductive rights. Other than that, unlike last time I don’t thiiiiiink there are any that need to be more heavily warned for than others? Feel free to send me an ask if you want more details.

I think that covers it! Here we go!

Epiphanies:

Previously on from Roslin

Ah, yes, flashing back to the miniseries. I actually like the lavender suit? But yeesh her hair.

Okay, this is timestamped 189 days ago. Which lines up with where we were last episode (6 months based on what Cain says).

Awwww, Billy. :(

I think I recognize the actor playing the union guy? I’ll have to look it up.

Ah yes. That bit, where she sees Gaius and Caprica. And, like, part of me would like to point out that that is…very slim evidence of anything? At least by itself. Otherwise everyone who knew/cared about Boomer (or Gina, or that one Simon, or Doral, or…well, we never meet any of Leoben’s friends lol but he was the Secretary of Defense’s yoga instructor XD) ANYWAY. This one piece of information doesn’t actually mean all that much, is the point

Except.

::gestures at all of the Everything Else::

I think her reading the worst into this particular memory is probably at least partially based on she just personally does not like this man, but it’s. it’s kind of hard not to Question Things, knowing how he’s acted in the six months since. Especially how he handled the Shelly Godfrey mess. I don’t know that she’d fixate on it in quite this way without the personal antipathy, but that’s neither here nor there.

(And, as with so many things where he’s concerned, she’s partially (mostly) right but also partially wrong and honestly I really, really love the way these two play off one another.)

Okay, so there are more people on staff here than just Cottle and Ishay, there was definitely one other dude with a stethoscope.

BILLY MY HEART.

…I think, because I never watched this episode without spoilers (I think the first episodes I ever watched were either New Caprica or Crossroads? While someone else was watching and I was around) so it doesn’t quite hit me the same way it would if I was legitimately wondering if they’d find a way to keep her alive? I mean, laws of TV say they should, but while Crashdown wasn’t a Main Credits lead, he was I think in every single episode of S1? So…yeah, idk.

49,598 survivors

“Save the attitude for someone who cares.” I love Kat and Kara’s dynamic, and of course this is setting up for Scar which I think is either the next episode or the one after that?

Oooooooh right, this subplot.

Aaaaand there’s an issue with the ammo, not the gun, so when Chief checked it, he knew he was right.

Bill’s face :(

Oh, right, Adar was an asshole, as we learn here.

Oooooooh, and she stole that from him XD “One of the most interesting things about being president is you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.”

Isn’t it implied that they slept together at some point? Guess I’ll find out.

Ah, yes, the anomalies with Hera’s blood.

“Didn’t say conclusive, just damned odd.”

And yeah Adama is also Not Super On Board with this plan, but. He’s still going to back her.

Oh wow and yeah it didn’t actually hit Baltar that he’s about to be President until Bill pointed it out. You can see it all over his face.

Huh, so apparently Head!Six has been least-in-sight since Pegasus, which now he’s saying was weeks ago. Timelines!

Oh shit that was an actual cracking noise did she break his wrist.

Lol, people are used to him talking to himself by now no one even bats an eye as he and Head!Six have this fight in a crowded hallway.

BUT THE THING WITH THE TIE LOL and he just Automatically puts his hand to it.

((Also, I don’t think she usually wears brown? Caprica does a lot--she tends to wear softer colors/earth tones more than Head!Six does, IIRC? Whereas Head!Six usually wears bright/saturated red/blue or stark whites and blacks. And that one silver dress which only looks passable because Tricia Helfer looks good in anything. Mostly bringing this up because there was that one photoset I saw on tumblr a while back that was tagged as Caprica but like. Only one of the pictures was Definitively Her XD The rest were Head!Six, with one I wasn’t totally sure of lol))

And Bill does tell Helo directly because. Yeah.

“They’ve got stones, I’ll give them that.” “I’ve agreed.” “…what?” “We’re not negotiating. I just want to know what we’re up against.”

…Bill, I get why you’re doing this, but I think arresting him is going to cause more problems than it solves…

Sharon like “they’re still afraid of me? Fine. I’ll give them something to be afraid of.”

((also the timeline of her pregnancy makes ZERO sense but oh well))

Oh shit I forgot we got suicide bombers before New Caprica

Billyyyyyyyy :(

“The next few days are likely to be…hectic…so.” And that is a Fancy Wax Seal.

“Even their dedication has limits.”

This was never in any universe going to be a healthy relationship ever. And he did EVERYTHING RIGHT before and he’s doing EVERYTHING WRONG here, and some of it is his madness and Head!Six and.

And then he has the Realization about Hera’s blood.

“I am not who you think I am. And I will not be responsible for the destruction of mankind.”

Yep. Yep yep yep they were. Roslin you generally have better taste than this. But who knows, maybe he was less of an asshole before the election.

…also I take it back, I like the suit a lot less without the jacket. That ultra-high-waist skirt is. Not Great.

“You expected me to fail.” “I expected you to hold the line. This doesn’t have to be the end of the world.” When it. Like. Literally Is. Within the next day or so.

“When I return, if you still want my job, be prepared to fight.”

“I know that many of you believe in the power of prayer.” :((((((((((((((((

And then attempting to grab Sharon with only the music and no diegetic sound at all just. Wow.

As Bill watches from outside.

Oh Helo. Oh baby. “Please don’t do this.” And he’s prepared to draw his gun to defend his child. And Bill is going to talk him down. “think about what you’re doing, Helo. You’re a soldier.” “I’m a father. Like you. Please, sir…give me a raptor. Let me take her off the ship. I’ll get her away from the ship.”

And that buys Baltar time to get here from Cloud Nine with his answer. “I may have been…wrong. Very wrong.” And then he realizes what he just ran into and Helo is behind him XD

“What am I looking at?” “Nothing. That’s the whole point.”

“It’s untried. It’s obviously untried, and therefore extremely dangerous, but it’s possible.” And they’re out of other options so to use what is simultaneously an incredibly inappropriate and Extremely Apt term--they’re gonna try the Hail Mary. XD

“maybe it’s just her time.” “then for once perhaps I am the beacon of hope around here.” Ohhhh so much to unpack there.

Awwww, Billy!

48 hours later, so…given that they mentioned ‘a few days’ earlier, this episode probably took between 5 days and a week? Of course the timeline has stopped making sense but just for my own notes XD

“By saving Roslin, you’ve denied yourself your rightful place of leadership. There are aspects of you I do not understand.” “You wouldn’t.” and then Head!Six asks if he loves Gina and he doesn’t answer, because the answer is ‘yes but’ because it’s all so confusing.

And of course he opens the letter (and tbf there are Very Few People who would not.)

And once again she’s partially right and partially wrong--he is capable of compassion, we’ve seen that (and we see more of it later); he just. Has this issue with abstractions and out-of-sight-out-of-mind. Which for his position as scientific advisor isn’t Great but it can be worked around, but as President, he’ll need to be able to face those abstractions and apply these things on a wider scale. Which he doesn’t learn to do until s4 (and possibly not even then).

Once again a flash of Spite and he does Stupid Things but once he calms down he doesn’t hold a grudge (again the out-of-sight-out-of-mind thing in play probably).

Yeah, she’s never going to trust you.

The STUPIDEST THING Gaius. Why are you sending Gina your nuke. …also how did you get away with keeping it when the detector was dismantled. I have SO MANY QUESTIONS

Ohhhhhh that smile after that initial ‘recoil in shock’ moment.

Black Market:

Previously on from Lee.

Oh right. Quadrangle of why take one. Not quite as annoying as the Big One in s3 but still. While I don’t think Billy and Dee were long-term compatible even without the nonsense, it’s still…they both deserved better than this nonsense.

And this right here is why Lee’s relationships tend not to work out. Because he wants this Idealized Girlfriend thing and when he pays someone to pretend, it’s fine, but when he tries to make that work with Dee or Kara…

“Well, they wouldn’t be civilians if they didn’t have something to bitch about.”

“Supply levels are tight, but not critical.”

Antibiotics coming up already.

“A few trades would be one thing, that’s reality. But I’m talking about criminals making outrageous demands. We need to be in control of our supply chain, not the black market.”

…okay but that is a kinda scary-looking doll lol. “Maybe next time I’ll get one with two eyes.”

Ohhhhhhhh and the staging of Fisk’s murder with him going into his office and unfastening his collar echoes some of the staging of Cain’s murder I LIKE IT

Also good riddance.

49,597.

…huh, I feel like it should be less than that? Given the explosion from the Demand Peace movement explicitly had casualties…ah well. Possibly a handful of babies were coincidentally born as well.

Oh right Lee had an actual girlfriend/fiancée/something before? Maybe I shouldn’t judge his relationships so hard lol.

And of course there’s some creepy serial killer bs! Because why just murder Fisk, why not shove a cubit into his throat!

“I almost prefer [another Cylon] to the alternative.” Yeaaaaaaah.

And putting Lee in charge of leading the investigation. “Wouldn’t it be better if someone from Pegasus did it?” “Even though Cain is gone, her influence lingers. I need someone I can trust.” “There were times when it was in short supply between us.” “We’ve been through a lot. I hope we’re stronger for it.”

Gaius why are you here.

Ohhhhh he doesn’t know about the murder until he walks into the room, he was here to meet with Fisk.

“You bought yourself some goodwill by saving Roslin, but it’s fading. Their suspicions are returning.”

“Why are you acting like a child with your hand in the cookie jar? Wonder what she would say if she saw you like this.”

“Pegasus lost two commanders in a matter of weeks.” Timelines!

And he’s been raiding other ships and heavily involved in the black market. Yay.

“Half the fleet’s working [the black market]. Fisk was getting greedy.”

Of course Ellen has black market connections OH RIGHT THAT WAS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE BRACELET I CAN’T BELIEVE I MISSED THAT.

“I haven’t done anything half the people on this ship haven’t done.” “Doesn’t make us right, Colonel. Just makes a lot of people wrong.”

“Permission to speak frankly, sir?” “You don’t need permission, and you don’t need the sir.” “…maybe that’s the problem. I don’t know what to think anymore, so I’ll just ask. Is this going somewhere? Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.” “Dee…” “Our time together, our workouts…something’s changed between us.” “I’m not sure what you want me to say.”

…yeaaaaaaah, okay, I know they were planning to write Billy off (I think either the next episode or the one after is Sacrifice, the other one is Scar) but. Yeah. Dee, you probably should’ve broken things off with Billy sooner than you did. Or at least had a conversation with him. Whatever happens between you and Lee, there’s something in your other relationship that isn’t working for things to get to this point.

And he says to Shevon “I’m not fooling myself, I know what this is.”

And he almost gets garotted, too! Or I guess technically he does but he doesn’t get garotted to death? At what point do you call someone garotted.

Yeaaaaaaaah ‘letting it go’ is Not gonna happen.

“Is that when you knew that you loved her?” “I thought so.” “But you hurt her.” …yeah, no, nvm, Lee has apparently always been shitty at relationships.

Oh, Lee does call for a medic right away. …not just for himself, but still.

Aaaaand this conversation! “I’m never quite sure where we stand with each other, Doctor. Why do you think that is?” “I can’t imagine why. I’ve never had anything but the utmost respect for you and your office.” …or maybe it’s not This conversation, they’re talking about his meeting with Fisk.

“Gaius, she’s afraid of you.” “Why--are you asking me this?” “I sense there is some unease in you in assuming the presidency, and I’d like to offer you an out.” YEP IT’S THIS CONVERSATION. And like…I’m not sure what he would’ve done if she hadn’t pushed him here, but once she pushes him he’s Definitely going to double down and refuse to resign. Even though that is what he actually wants, deep down.

“You can consider it a second chance, like the one you gave me.” “Charming. ::starts to leave::” “Doctor. This is a one-time offer. I suggest you reconsider.” “I’ve never been particularly interested in politics. And I never wanted any lofty position of power. I never wanted to be the Vice President. That is, until this very moment. Because right now, I can’t think of anything I want more.” Yeah, she misread him here and made the wrong play. Ah, well.

ZAREK. Aka “and then there’s this asshole (affectionate)”

“I just heard. Are you all right?”

“I know these places are legal, but…”

“I have to be careful about the company I keep.” “Yeah, well, according to Fisk’s log…”

Oooh, interesting. “See how many ships made stops at the Astral Queen after Fisk’s last visit.”

And Zarek’s not wrong, there was no way this was Not going to happen.

“They gave you Fisk’s killer for a reason. They’re offering you a way out.” Oooooooh and to have That in the same episode as That Conversation.

“You know something, don’t you.” “Just rumors. …there’s a freighter. Prometheus. Some people say it’s gone off the grid. But if you want something bad enough, that’s where you go. The deals are brokered by an ex-military mercenary named Phelan.”

“Lee. I hope she’s worth it.”

SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE. Returning to Zarek being smart and having lines he won’t cross (until he doesn’t, but post-Earth 1.0 Everything Changes). And while I think I stand by my assessment that I’d like this episode a lot more if someone other than Lee was doing it…no one bounces of Zarek quite the way he does.

(Also Kara was barely in the last episode and I haven’t seen her yet in this one. Huh.)

…and every woman he’s been Demonstrably (Canonically*) Interested In except Dee has been a blonde.

((*I know Lee/Roslin is a popular fanon ship but.))

Aaaaaand now we know there is Trafficking of Children going on.

Okay, Phelan talks a good game and he’s not wrong about the black market filling a necessary niche buuuuuuuuuuuut then the trafficking of children undercuts his point by a LOT. “It’s hard to find a moral high ground when we’re all standing in the mud.” NOT ON THIS PARTICULAR ISSUE. “I’m not like my old man, Captain. And you are not like yours.”

…the sad thing is, murdering Phelan isn’t really going to Solve the black market problem. But we’re gonna hit another of Zarek’s hard limits here I’m sure (he’ll murder children if need be, man blew up a building, I don’t think the possibility of children being inside would’ve stopped him, but not This.)

“Nobody can stop it. And maybe nobody should. But it needs limits. There’s lines you can’t cross. And you crossed them.”

Yeeeep that’s the Point of this episode. …and I guess why it had to be Lee after all. He’s the one who hates himself for not being Good and violating his rigid ethics but he will do the Necessary Thing.

“So you’re still in business. For now. But if there are any more killings, if you hold back necessary medicines, if you ever touch a child…” …and now I’m kind of interested in Black Market Kingpin Lee. I’m more interested in Lee than I ever have been before, lol.

Yeaaaah, Lee, your relationship with Shevon is exactly what she says it is. “I’m a replacement for a lot of things. Things men can’t get anywhere else. Things they’ve lost. She wanted to give you a child.” Oooh, and Lee didn’t want kids. “But you were afraid, so you pushed her away. And then you ran. And you didn’t stop running until it was too late.” Okay, so what broke apart his relationship was not his shittiness, exactly, it was a legit ‘we want different things we can’t reconcile.’ …eeeeexcept for the fact that he was kind of Involved with Kara already. “I am not her. And Paya is not and will never be your child.”

And Lee claims it’s all wrapped up. “What about Prometheus?” Roslin asks. “We will keep an eye on them.” “Not exactly the solution I had in mind. Whether or not we allow a criminal enterprise to flourish in this fleet is not a matter of choice.” “I support your trade policies wholeheartedly, Madam President, but we are never going to have a perfect system. We are always going to have a black market. This way, we know names, I know faces, and we will monitor the situation.” Yeah, Lee’s right here, this was the best possible solution.

Awwww, this moment with Billy would be a lot cuter if not for that prior conversation and the way she Looks at Lee who’s hovering at the gym entrance.

Yeah, a near-death experience will change a man.

“You should’ve told me about the woman.”

…okay, so, in the final analysis…this episode is not as bad as its reputation/as I remembered? I think if I was at all more interested in Lee, I might even like it??? But I’m really not. And it’s unfortunately very skippable, apart from the Roslin and Baltar conversation and the Lee and Zarek moment. I’m not sure anymore that it would’ve been Better with, say, Starbuck heading the investigation. It would’ve been different and probably more interesting to me, personally, but…yeah.

Scar:

YAY THE EPISODE WHERE KAT AND STARBUCK DEFINITELY HAD ANGRY SEX IN A CLOSET SOMEWHERE.

Ahem.

I mean.

MOVING ON

Starbuck gets the previously on.

And now we’re at a mining ship that’s been operating for 29 days. And at least two pilots are dead.

“I don’t think he’s gonna RSVP, Kat. He prefers surprise parties.” “Yeah, well, he’ll be surprised when I blow him up.” “That’ll be the day.”

Oh, man, clearing out his bunk.

“Does anybody remember Rielly’s girlfriend’s name?”

“It does matter,” Kat says, and she’s right.

And their replacements are immediately brought in as soon as they’re finishing clearing out the bunks.

“Who’s Scar?” “Not who, what. Cylon’s top gun.”

“He’s got a taste for nuggets. Easy pickings.”

“There was a time you’d’ve noticed that before me.” “Fiiiiiine you’re the shooter.”

And Starbuck has the Fancy Tankard which I think goes to Kat at the end of the episode?

“This isn’t duelling pistols at dawn, this is war. You don’t wanna fight fair. You wanna sneak up behind your enemy and club him over the head. You see, Scar understands that. And so do I. That’s why I’m gonna kill him.” And Starbuck and Kat finishing each other’s stories turns into needling each other and that little Smile.

And yep they’re betting over the top gun mug. “Your lips’ll never touch the rim little girl.” Yeaaaaaaaaah they definitely had Angry Sex in a closet at least once this episode. But yeah, Lee and Kat have a point, Kara, maybe you should tone down the drinking…

But she misses Sam. And who can blame her, Sam is awesome. And she keeps getting shot down when she tries to get a rescue mission going.

Noooooope, the Raider Kat is chasing was Not Scar oh no. it was Bait.

49,593!

YAY THE FLASHY BITS IMPLY WE GET SOME STARBUCK AND HELO BEING BROS!!!!! AND HE WAS IN THE BACKGROUND OF THAT LAST SCENE SO YAAAAAAAY!

“That can’t be Scar. He should be jumping, or wheeling to gun at us…” and yep, checking the tail is Smart but there’s Glare and then JUST LIKE ONE OF THOSE MINISERIES SHOTS, WE SEE SCAR COMING OUT OF THE LIGHT I LOVE IT

And they’re stuck here for another eight days.

Okay, so most of the fleet isn’t here, that’s smart.

Starbuck, you should read the briefing notes before telling your pilots what to do.

Ooooooh, is this implying that Starbuck’s captured raider is Scar? I LIKE IT.

And that repeating of that “death as a learning experience” idea.

“How many pilots have we lost? I mean…have you lost.” “You know there are times when I look at you and I forget what you are. All I see is that kid that spooched her landings day after day. The kid that was frakking the Chief and thinking she was getting away with it.” “Yeah, I remember. You were like a big sister to--” And then Guns when she reaches for Starbuck’s hands.

“Be careful of Scar, okay? He’s filled with rage.” “About what?” “Dying is a painful and traumatic experience. Every time he’s reborn, he’s filled with more bitter memories. Scar hates you every bit as much as you hate him.”

And Kat beats Starbuck’s record on the range!

And oh man Starbuck’s voice/face when she’s hit, and then they lose visual contact and…

“Don’t be an idiot, Starbuck, what’s your position?”

SO MUCH ANGRY SEX

YAY STARBUCK AND HELO BRO TIMES

“Why are you pushing so hard? Kat’s just another hotshot kid out to make her bones. Like you were before you met Anders. …you ever think about him?” “What’s the point? He’s dead.” “…Kara. If you didn’t think he had a chance of surviving, why’d you promise to return with a rescue party?” “I thought I was…I don’t know what I thought.” …yeah, I guess after it’s been…probably at least five or six months…that changes things.

Oh noooooo these are the ones that were mentioned as getting Killed right at the beginning before we started flashing back and forth in time. Duck and BB just died.

“That kid needs more than a pat on the ass and a textbook quote about tactics, okay?” “You wanna be his wetnurse, go right ahead. His jacket says he’s a qualified viper jock, so either I fly him, or I ground him and we go up short. What’s it gonna be? Your call, Kat.” SO MUCH ANGRY SEX.

And someone pukes on the deck. Not the first, won’t be the last.

“Nice work, Starbuck.” “What the hell happened to BB?” “He did exactly what you told him to do! ‘Try to run and you’re dead.’ I heard you drill that into that poor moron’s head.” “You and I both know that 99% of the time, that is the right move.” “Not this time.” SO MUCH. JUST. SO MUCH.

“In two weeks, I won’t remember his face. I can’t remember any of their faces after they’re killed. No matter how hard I try, they just fade.” “I don’t even remember their names.” “Names? Oh, let’s see…there was Flattop, who bought it on his thousandth landing. There was Chuckles…” “The president says that we’re saving humanity for a bright shiny future on Earth--that you and I are never gonna see. We’re not. Because we go out over and over again until someday some metal motherfrakker is gonna catch us on a bad day and just blow us away.” “…bright shiny futures are overrated, anyway.” I like Lee and Kara much better when they’re being fr--spoke too soon. “That’s why we gotta get what we can. Right now.” “I’ll drink to that. To right now.” “So why don’t we? “ “Why don’t we…what?” and now they’re fucking. Because of course they are.

And Lee is saying slow down and Starbuck isn’t listening and juuuuuuust like when she frakked Baltar, she’s screwing someone else to hide from her Feelings. This time she’s screwing Lee to hide from her feelings about Sam. “There is no us. I just wanted a good lay. There is nothing here. Nothing. You get that?” “…sure.”

“Well that’s just great. Frak or fight, right? Maybe I am just a good lay, but I’m also your friend, okay?” “I am hung up on a dead guy, okay? And it is pissing me off. And I don’t know what I’m doing.” “I don’t need your pity, Lee!” “You don’t have it! You’re fine with the dead guys, it’s the living ones you can’t deal with!” And then she slaps him and then kisses him and then storms out and just. Why. These two. Are. So. Exhausting. Go have angry sex with Kat instead.

And now she’s drinking in the ready room, watching all the footage of her pilots dying.

“Maybe if you hadn’t been up all night drinking, Jojo would’ve still been here.” “…give us the room.”

SO MUCH ANGRY SEX.

“I put Snake in my place because I knew I was in no condition to fly. Unlike you, I don’t take a bunch of pills and climb into my cockpit too wired to land right!” “You used to be the best stick in the fleet. Now you’re just a reckless drunk who sends other people out to get killed. What are you gonna do? Gonna hit me, Starbuck?” “Scares you, does it?” “Actually, no.” “You’re afraid most of the time, Kat. You’re afraid that you’re gonna end up like that picture of Reilly’s girlfriend. Some little…forgotten picture that no one really remembers. You see, that’s why you’re riding my ass so hard. So no one will notice that Scar scares the living crap out of you.” And then Kat hits her. …and Lee comes in before they can turn that bickering/fistfight into an Angry Makeout Session. “What’s going on?” “…a little tactical discussion, sir.” “is that what they’re calling it now” “…must’ve been lively.”

And Lee puts them out on one of the pickets together.

And Lee asks if Starbuck is okay, and Kat goes to view the memorial wall. And pin the picture of Reilly’s girlfriend to it.

I love Sam so much. He deserved better.

“I am gonna put him right in front of you. Do not miss him, frakkin’ stim junkie.”

Ooooooh that spray of blood across the space/asteroid.

And Starbuck just stares at the downed, smoldering wing as they fly away.

so much angry sex.

And she does fill the cup. “You earned it,” she says quietly, and Kat realizes this is Serious, and not mocking each other anymore.

And Starbuck proves she was Lying to lee before. “To BB…Jojo…Reilly…Beano…Dipper…Flattop…Chuckles…Jolly…Crashdown…Sheppard…Dash…Flyboy…” And she starts to falter, but she keeps going. “Stepchild…Puppet…Fireball…” And Lee gets up to help her finish when she runs out of names and she Knows there are more but. “To all of ‘em.” “So say we all.”

And bro times with Helo again! “I could’ve done it. Just needed to get a little closer.” “So why didn’t you do it?” “Probably would’ve died in the process. Bastard was too good. Couple months ago, I wouldn’t’ve even thought about that. Would’ve just gone for the glory, hoping I could’ve pulled it out of the fire sometime.” “Don’t beat yourself up. You and Kat both came back alive. You did the right thing, called in your wingman.” “That’s not why I did it, though. I can’t get Anders out of my head.” “You got something to live for now. Not just die for.” I LOVE THEM SO MUCH YOUR HONOR. BEST BROS.

Sacrifice:

oh no.

::momma look sharp starts playing::

((yeah if I had ever gotten around to doing a S2 fanmix like the one I did for S3, this episode would be that song. I am NOT the only one who’s made the connection, either: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRMZ5qdsBu0 SUFFER WITH ME))

ANYWAY

Lee gets the previously on, I think (the subtitles say Laura but it is definitely a dude)

And this lady has a full on wall of crazy. Woo.

Does go to show that there is genuinely a thriving press in the fleet which is kind of great! Not just wireless, but actual papers.

Billy is being more outspoken than usual in this meeting, yay! Lol, Roslin comments on it, too.

Awwwwww. “You were saying about the hard questions?” and he’s proposing and it’s SUPER CUTE except Dee’s been kind of pulling away from him and towards Lee and…she just…her face, oh man.

And he’s still holding out hope and babbling when her Face says it all and then she finally gets the words out and and and. :(((((((((

“I can’t marry you. I don’t know how else to say it. I’m sorry.” :(((((((((((((

And the very next scene is her on a date with Lee.

She’s so pretty.

“I don’t know what to make of me and Billy, but I know I can’t marry him. Then again, I don’t know what to make of you and me, either.”

Oooh, whatever Lee is drinking just has a straight-up chili pepper in it.

Hi Ellen! Haven’t seen you in a while!

49,590!

And Ellen has a very pretty bright blue drink! With like. Smoke on it XD

Ohhhhhh and now Billy is in the bar and Dee is like “…shiiiiiiit.” And then Lee comes back with more drinks and Dee is like “fuuuuuuuuuuck” and Billy is just “…oh.” And his face. :(((((((( “Billy, I’m sorry,” Lee says, and retreats back to the bar. Which. Can’t blame him. (And Ellen already has a second drink, lol)

And Billy’s mad because “I thought we could be honest with each other. But when I proposed you knew you were going to be here with him today. I know giving you the ring was stupid, that’s fine. And maybe this wasn’t gonna work out between us, but this…you should’ve told me about this.” And…I mean, in her defense, when he pulled her aside to propose he kind of just kept babbling and she had frozen for a moment.

…on the other hand, Black Market was at least a month ago given Scar’s internal timeline, and so this has been building for at least that long and yeah, she really should’ve talked to him before this.

And meanwhile Ellen is like “it’s hard to choose the people we fall in love with…to love only one person at a time…people like us are more complicated.” And like. Not really helping XD

And then Dee says she’s sorry, and Billy says he’s here with friends and walks away. (earlier he said he was here on business which is proooooooobably closer to the truth But)

Whoops Lee noticed the lady from earlier. Which. Took him long enough, she and that one dude were acting Super Sketch. Aaaaaand he’s spotted her gun. Fun!

“Ellen, the bathroom’s over here.” “…are you serious? :D” and she only takes the blue smoky drink with her.

Sorry, Ellen, you’re not getting bathroom sex from Lee today. Or ever.

…is it just me or does that one shooter/bad guy/whatever look weirdly like a Five?????

Yep, and Now Ellen knows why Lee pulled her into the bathroom, so he could have some room to maneuver. And he’s counting shooters and.

“What about you, Saul? Are you afraid of her?” “The truth is, I don’t like the way it’s gotten under your skin.”

And now Ellen’s going to try and Talk to the people holding everyone hostage which. Like. Whatever else you can say about her, she’s got ovaries of steel.

((I feel like we haven’t seen Tigh all that much in this set of episodes either? Ah well, he’ll definitely be more present in this episode))

Although letting the hostages know Exactly how valuable a hostage they have might or might not have been the smart play, which is probably part of why Lee pulled her out of the room.

And giving two hours to produce Athena and Bill’s first response is “I need everything we know about this woman.”

And that little jerk when Bill hears Lee is there. But also half a squad of marines and Starbuck and he’s like “…yeah, I know who we want here get me Starbuck.”

And yeah that’s Smart what Lee is doing with the drink but it’s taking too long and he’s gonna get caught so he scrambles back to the bathroom--probably he can hear them in the other room?

Oh, nope, he was Lying in Wait. And now he has a gun!

“Lock and load, figure it out as we go.” I love Starbuck.

And then they use Dee as a counter-hostage so Lee has to let his guy go.

“We all have someone we care about. He’s not gonna choose a Cylon over his son.”

And Now the sensor goes off!

“There’s a reason you don’t start shooting on a spaceship. Maybe you nicked a line. Let me talk to the Admiral.”

“I’m not going to sacrifice a military asset on your altar of revenge.”

“This is about the loss of your husband, and I understand that. It’s about you wanting to strike back, I understand that too. We’ve all lost people we care about, and we learn to live with it.”

“I am sure you’re aware, Admiral, of the concrete evidence that Caprica’s defenses were compromised by a Cylon agent who infiltrated the Ministry of Defense on the eve of the attacks.” She is. Not wrong. “People look for complicated answers when something terrible happens. Maybe we were just caught by surprise and were beaten. And maybe we have to learn to live with that.” “And maybe you’re missing the point. You were infiltrated, and you’ve been infiltrated again. You are being played, and the rest of us are not going down with your ship! I want the air system repaired now!”

And IIRC he sends Starbuck in as the repair person.

“Saul, we can’t give her Sharon, you know that, right?” “I know that. We can’t start dealing with terrorists, we start doing that now and it opens the floodgates, they’ll never stop. And by the way, it’s not Sharon. It’s a frakking Cylon.” “You don’t think I know that?” “I think there’s part of you that looks into that thing’s eyes and still sees that young girl that reported aboard two years ago as a rook pilot. Whell it’s not. And it never was.”

And yep, Kara figures out that the sensor was messed with, and is going in for recon! Which will probably involve her shooting many things because.

“Captain, what are you doing?” “Volunteering.” Lol, that Marine’s tone XD

YEP SHE HAD GUNS HIDDEN AND NOW THERE ARE BULLETS FLYING

And Lee got hit--oh shit I thought it was farther to his shoulder than that, that’s like. That probably dropped a lung. Yikes.

Also oh shit I think Starbuck hit him while he was running to grab one of the guns(?) not sure what he was doing there.

She did hit at least one of the hostage-takers, though.

But the Marines were coming in through the half-open door! And he has to pull her out.

Okay yeah, now it looks more on his shoulder than his chest what do I know, lol.

“You still want the Cylon? Because if the Admiral’s son dies, you’re not gonna get a thing.” So Billy gets to get something to use as bandages and help Dee clean Lee up.

“My cover was blown, I had to move. I’m sorry.” “Any casualties?” “Two marines, probably KIA. At least one of the gunmen…and Lee. It was crazy in there. Confused. He got hit.” “How bad?” “I don’t know.” “Stand by. Hold your position. Make no move unless you hear from me.” “It was friendly fire. Lee got hit by friendly fire. …I think it was me.” Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man. “…you have your orders.” Especially considering when she finally came clean about how Zak died oh man.

Billy is such a good bean I love him so much.

And Bill goes to talk to Sharon. “Are you playing with us? Are you playing with me?” Because he has to be Sure, has to decide what to do. “If I were to ask you, would you tell me who [the other Cylons in the fleet] are?” “No.” “That I believe.”

That does explain why Cavil is still unknown as of the end of this season (and probably D’Anna, too). The question is--why is she doing that? To have one more thing to hold on to Just In Case? Because betraying her people as a group is different from selling out Individual People? Hedging her bets in case she needs to turn to one of them for an exit strategy, especially if Hera is threatened again?

“He’ll be all right.” “Thanks for the concern. …she loses a husband, and suddenly the world owes her an explanation.” “He was a good man. And it wasn’t just her husband, it was my brother.” “My brother died on Picon, he was a good man too. They’re all good men.”

And of course she released her manifesto before taking over the bar.

And we can’t blow open the door because it would take so many explosives it would probably take out the entire bar. (Still love G-4 instead of C-4)

“There’s only one option left.” “No. We give them Sharon Valerii, we weaken our position permanently. Gentlemen, everyone in that room is someone’s son, someone’s wife, someone’s mother. …Billy’s the closest thing that I have left in this world and if you don’t think that that confuses things for me emotionally…let’s not be naïve.” My HEART.

And Saul says “what if they’re right” and she says “this isn’t about Sharon, this is about something way more long-term.”

“How’s my son?” “Alive. But my friend is dead. So are two of your soldiers. And your son is dying. I thought a long time about this. About what I’d do, about how far I’d go, and I honestly did not know until this moment--Chu.” And now she’s gonna deliberately execute hostages. Starting with Ellen.

“…hold your fire. I’m giving you the Cylon. But she won’t be alive.” “What does that mean?” “It means that you’ve convinced me. And if that’s the case, and she’s been playing me, then I can’t take any more chances. If you want Sharon Valerii, you can have her--but on my terms.”

RIGHT THEY STILL HAVE BOOMER’S BODY ON ICE! Convenient.

“I give you the body, you give me the hostages.” “…done.”

“Admiral, let me help. Please.” “Let me take it from here.” But he’s telling her without words that this isn’t like last time, he’s not Furious at her. And that helps. Just a little.

“I can see you watching him. I know you think you can get that gun.” “I’m thinking in case something happens--” “No. you’re not a soldier. You’re not trained for that. You’ve got nothing to prove.” “I know.”

Oh no oh no oh no oh no

And she fires a couple times into Boomer’s corpse and yep there’s the burn mark on her cheek.

Aaaaaaand her partner figures it out. “Wait. This isn’t right.” And pulls the blanket down further, showing the autopsy scar/mark. “…this one’s been dead for weeks. Their Cylon is still alive.” (more than weeks, it’s been at least four or five months at this point???? But what are timelines lol)

And oh no oh no oh no oh no he’s moving quietly around the back and oh noooooo

“Kill the girl.”

And he goes for the gun and I think does kill the other guy but then noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

And Dee does scramble over to check on Billy, and Bill goes right to Lee so he’s not alone for more than a few seconds and and and :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ;___________;

Oh no her face. When she comes into the morgue. And. Oh no. “Is this what you gave them?” “It was a calculated risk.” “It wasn’t worth it.”

“Lee, you can’t leave. You have to stay. You have to really stay. You understand?” and. And knowing where Dee’s story is going. And Starbuck hovering in the background. And. “It’s okay. I’ll be here when you wake up. I’ll be right here.”

And then that last shot of Athena’s very alive and unscarred cheek. Man.

ETA: re: some of the Choices Dee is making here--I think a lot of it comes down to her not wanting to be alone, especially given that she was Estranged from her family when the attack happened. She’s probably known that she no longer really wants to be with Billy for a while, but she doesn’t want to leave him until she’s sure of where she stands with Lee, but Lee is a fucking mess, and then Billy surprises her by still being Fully Invested in this relationship and like. I wish she had made better choices here and I think she handled this whole mess Badly, but…when I think about it that way, I can sort of understand what she’s doing here? Especially if she didn’t realize Billy was in this to the point where he was working himself up to propose to her.

She should have done better, this was really cruel to Billy. But.

The Captain’s Hand:

Previously on from Tigh!

And that’s not exactly what Gina said, but it was probably cut. Same thing with that bit about putting Garner in command on Pegasus. “He’s the best they’ve got.”

HOSHI! What a good bean.

And we’re almost a month after the last episode.

Galactica’s the Bucket and Pegasus is the Beast, that’s cute.

I wonder if Lee’s scar sticks around, I’ll have to pay close attention to future shirtless scenes. What a hardship.

((look, I don’t like Lee very much but I am but a simple bi girl and I can appreciate the scenery))

“It’s only a temporary assignment. I should be back again in a couple weeks.” “Why’d the old man pick you?” “One word: Starbuck.” “Is she in hack again?!” “Not yet, but apparently she’s been driving Commander Garner up one bulkhead and down the other since she took over flight training here. And since I won’t be flying combat for a while…”

“Got promoted to Major.” “Don’t sound so happy.” “It’s not that big a deal.” “Yes it is!” “Well, if you think so…”

Aaaaaaand the B plot. Yay. …tempted to just like. Fast-forward over it and ignore it but. …no, I’m doing a full rewatch. I will be good. I will watch the episode. On mute if I have to, but it will be watched.

It is nice to see Chief and Cally again, though. I don’t think we’ve seen them since Epiphanies??? With the sabotage????? No, wait, they were briefly in Scar, nvm.

…I recognize that actor, I think? Garner.

49,584!

“Sir, it’s been made clear that discussing flight deck information with anyone not on Pegasus crew is not allowed.” Ooooookay yeah this is a li’l fucked up. “And who’s frakking bright idea was that?” And the Pegasus guys close ranks, but it was Garner. “So, barely competent and paranoid. That’s a hell of a combination.”

He does have a point about the way things need to be run in an engine room. But you can’t necessarily apply that same rigid exact precision/protocol to everything else that has to happen.

But yeah, Lee et al could probably learn a thing or two from him.

Hi Tory! You are very pretty.

“I’m still here, there’s too much to do. Let’s talk politics.”

“We did polls to see what the mayor should have for lunch.” Lol

“It helps when your only real rival is a convicted terrorist.” Until Baltar, prompted by Head!Six (and apparently Gina) throws a spanner in the works. Woo.

Hi Zarek! You’re an asshole (affectionate)

“For a while, I had a chance, until Laura Roslin ascended from politician to prophet. The truth is, I can’t win. But you could.” Oh, wow, I forgot that Zarek actually approached Baltar and didn’t just jump on when Baltar announced he was running.

And now that his Spite has faded he remembers he hates politics and doesn’t actually want to be in charge lol.

“It’s the office that makes you the perfect candidate. You’re pre-sold.” “Really? To whom?” like genuinely surprised there lol

As a counter to ‘superstitious ravings’ oh boy. “And you, Tom? You’ll just step aside, will you?” Yeah even Baltar isn’t going to think Zarek is doing this without an ulterior motive. ((he’s Not Stupid, like, one of his defining character traits is that he’s Very Much Not Stupid, but...like he’s also real dumb sometimes)) “I’m just happy to back a man of true conviction. A man who remembers his friends.”

“Everyone knock off the schoolyard crap and do your frakking jobs.” Yeah, they did need to hear that, Lee. And Starbuck takes the reprimand well because she knows they deserved it.

Awwww that one guy with a close shave kinda looks like Crashdown. Poor kid.

And Bill mostly cares that Cottle is involved in smuggling people on and off Galactica. Which. You know. Fair.

Cottle interjecting with “She could apply for asylum” and Bill giving him a ‘not now, Doc’ look.

[And apparently the Gemenon rep has Sarah as a canonical name. or possibly she was replaced by Danae in the upcoming election because I like Danae and her bitter rivalry with Fintan and poor Sondra holding the balance point in the middle between the two of them lol. And also dealing with Zarek. And the other eight assholes.]

Lol that ‘what’

And Bill is the one to point out the practical implications here. And she’s still saying no because this is Important for so many reasons. And he reminds her of the ‘we’d better start having babies’ thing and. Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh.

Aaaaaaand Starbuck pieces together ‘received a distress call’

And Lee trying to smooth things over between Garner and Starbuck and. Nope. And now Starbuck is restricted to quarters.

Oh no pushups. Oh no. ma’am. Ma’am please.

“You’ve been on board less than four days.” Lol.

And now they’re having a Fight. “You keep frakking up, and I keep having to clean it up, and I am sick of it!” “Poor Lee, your life is so hard, isn’t it.” “You mean since I got shot.” And she turns away crying to collect herself and now he didn’t mean to go that far and she changes the subject because they Can’t really go there right now.

And Lee’s like “this is almost certainly a trap” and Garner’s like “I disagree we’re taking the whole beast there.”

Bill is also like “uhhhhhhhhh…”

“It’s a scenario we don’t think likely.” “We? …Major Adama, do you concur.” And Lee is honest, and Garner is like, “I don’t share that conclusion.” And Bill says ‘send a five-Raptor flight don’t send the whole Pegasus.’ Aaaaand Garner tells Lee ‘I’m sure your expertise is needed elsewhere.’ Sigh.

Demographic projections. Yay.

“So now it’s our administration? She must be desperate.” Shut up, Head!Six, you’re not helping.

Okay, now we’re saying seven months ago when he ran these numbers--probably for that meeting in Water? He would need that to calculate the resources, probably.

Yikes. “if we continue on our present course, within the next 18 years, the human race will simply be extinct.”

And her voice is breaking when she gives the order. And like…these are very specific circumstances. And this doesn’t change the fact that it will just force the issue underground and make it a Lot Less Safe. But.

It’s just. Right now. Hard to watch. Damn it.

“We go in now, we’re going in blind. We should send a force recon.” And Garner’s like “no, my pilots are dying out there.” What happened to rigid protocols. It’s not the same as in the engine room but there is a reason Adama ordered that you do this in the order you’re doing it.

…graaaaaaanted this is also after he nearly came to blows with Cain over a similar issue so. Uh. There is that.

This poor sergeant who is being given contradictory orders and yeah he chooses to follow Garner and not Lee, regardless of who is right. Because Pegasus is still Tightly Bonded after everything with Cain.

Aaaand the raptor crews are already dead.

SUDDEN (UN)EXPECTED BASESTAR! …THREE OF THEM!

((Yeah, Garner’s a That Guy; I’ve seen him in a bunch of guest spots in other things))

Aaaand FTL is out so they’re Stuck.

Lol. “Sergeant, I think you have better things to do.”

And Garner is fixated on fixing the FTL drives. Trying to talk the engine room guys through it, but “they don’t seem to understand.” And he goes down, leaving Lee in command.

And Lee’s voice shaking just a little. “I have the con.” And then he pulls himself together and starts giving the necessary orders because he does know what he’s doing.

“Mr. Gaeta, any contact?” “Negative, sir.”

And that’s one basestar exploded!

And Garner does put his ass on the line and get himself killed to save the ship. Because he’s got a stick up his ass the size of Jupiter but he is a good man. “Close the hatch behind me. We’re losing air. Close the gods-damned hatch! Close it!”

Oh, maybe it didn’t blow up, but it’s leaving.

And he’s running out of air but he keeps hitting the valve with the hammer and then the light goes green and then he passes out, pulling the lever as he does.

It might have been better if we’d had a little more time with Garner, oh well.

Oh that was a cool shot, Starbuck coming in upside down.

“Starbuck’s report wasn’t so kind.” Yeah. And Lee still has the watch.

“In your opinion, off the record--what was Garner’s flaw?” “He was used to working with machines. Command is about people.” “Remember that. I want you to take command of the Beast.” And Lee like ‘whut’ “Garner was my decision. His failures are my responsibility. Don’t let me fail a second time.”

GDI STUPID FUCKING LIGHTER MUSIC MAKING ME CRY

49,579.

And yeah, Rya got grandfathered in, so to speak. And was granted asylum.

“My order came after she sought her procedure. No laws were broken.” “You have your pound of flesh. And I suggest you take your victory and move on.”

“You realize you’re screwed, right?” “Well, it could be worse. You could be my CAG.” “I’m gonna stay here and be Galactica’s CAG. Something about wanting to keep an eye on me.” “Well, you and Colonel Tigh have a lot of fun at those early-morning briefings, ‘cause the XO’s a lot of fun first thing in the morning.” And then she gives him a sincere Congratulations after all the teasing because when they work they do but the hand-holding and ugh. “I know why I was mad at you, Kara.” “A simple thank you would do.” “Cause you were doing what you always do. Bucking authority, and getting away with it. I bucked authority once, and it almost cost me everything. And I got to Pegasus, and there you were, doing it all over again. And it pissed me off, I guess.” “You should hear the way my brain works sometimes. …are we okay?” “…you have a brain?” and then they hug. And if it weren’t for the Quadrangle of Why clearly Lurking in the wings and that gd handholding I would like this moment a lot more.

Aaaaaand now the press conference where Baltar hijacks it and announces he’s running for president because. Of Course.

((I remembered the election arc lasting way longer than it actually does? Especially since Downloaded has. Like. Five minutes with the fleet and all of that is Hera’s birth and kidnapping.))

Oh, this is interesting. He starts out defending the decision, because he knows the reasons for it. “The decision has been made in good faith. …I, however, cannot in good conscience support it.”

And Head!Six watching him from the back with that little half-smile.

Yeah, Roslin was not expecting that.

And that slow clap from Head!Six damn. As the rest of the sound other than the BGM fades out.

So yeah, this episode is. Not great. Even without the IRL Timing. If Black Market was better than I remembered, this one was worse than I remembered. Even the A plot. I think we didn’t know Garner (or the engine crew types; especially with guys like Chief and Laird who are more flexible in contrast) well enough for it to hit the way it needed to. Also the fucking Quadrangle of Why I hate it so much.

Downloaded:

HELL YEAH I LOVE THIS ONE.

((full disclosure, I did spot-rewatch this one before I started this project))

Sharon gets the previously-on!

Okay, so, this is nine months after the miniseries.

And the first time we actually See someone wake up in a resurrection tank! …I wonder what that goo actually was. I’m sure the answer is out there somewhere but I’m too lazy to look it up.

(also like; if only for fic-writing purposes, I do think about that moment where--maybe he was stunned/knocked out for a second and he wakes up next to her body)

Other!Six has Concerns.

And the rest of Caprica’s brain wakes up and she asks about Gaius and surprise Head!Baltar!

And he immediately tells her that only she can see him.

Oh, there’s a Five there.

“If they know how you feel about me, it’ll be a problem.”

((Also, Eights tend to wear really soft, pretty things when they’re among other Cylons? Just a thing I noticed, especially with the midwife!Eight))

Okay, ten weeks later--does that line up with the timestamps we were given before? ::scrolls up to check:: I know that the S1 finale was around day 50…okay, Tigh was in command for ‘more than a week,’ based on my notes, and Boomer getting shot happens right when Bill wakes up…ehhhhh, that seems Off to me but who the hell knows.

…oh that’s interesting. Boomer is in restraints/cuffed to the tub, I don’t think Caprica was? ::rewinds to double-check:: yeah, nothing on Caprica’s wrists.

((side note--I spent some time in the Supernatural fandom, as one does, and Head!Baltar was an easter egg/cameo in a fic I’m still pretty proud of XD he was going to play a bigger part in future arcs in the same story but then I fell out of that fandom for a variety of reasons. So. Yeah, there it is))

“You’re in God’s hands. We’re all here with you. This will pass. Trust me. Everything’s going to be all right.” “Welcome home, little sister. We’re here. We’re going to take care of you.” “We’re proud of you, Sharon.” “And we love you.” Thaaaat’s a creepy little smile, Other!Eight. and then Boomer just SCREAMS.

49,579!

“I was thinking it symbolized rebirth. A new beginning.” Aww, her little smile at him. “It’s a memorial. Do you know how many people died in this park during the attack? In this park alone?” And then Sudden Unexpected D’anna and they jerk apart.

“Even after all this time, I still feel awkward.”

LOL all three of them crossing their legs in unison.

“You are a war hero, we could not have won without you.” And her smile gets a little frozen, and even more so when the Five comes up to tell her she’s inspiring.

“I find it absolutely amazing, you people went to all the trouble to appear human and didn’t bother to upgrade the plumbing!”

…I wonder when the last time Cottle actually did any OB stuff was XD Since he’s been assigned to an active battlestar, probably any pregnant personnel are transferred elsewhere?

“That mission could be profoundly disturbing.” “Disturbing? Does she mean sleeping with me, or killing billions of people? Because I rather thought you enjoyed sleeping with me.” “It was…difficult at times.” And then Three (who may or may not be the same Three as Final Cut; it is an Endless Source of internal debate for me XD I read somewhere that there was a deleted scene involving D’Anna and Gina that made them Definitively separate? But that isn’t in the actual show…and also doesn’t answer which of them is involved in the S3 stuff XD)

…I had a point.

Right. Three is saying ‘you should help Boomer reintegrate’ and Caprica is like ‘uhhhhhhhhhhh not sure I’m the right girl for that?’

And Three just plunges on calling her Caprica instead of Six.

Also LOL at James Callis’s face as Head!Baltar bounces back and forth between Caprica and Three.

“There’s talk of boxing her.” “Putting her memories in cold stories?” “Well, that’s a charming way of dealing with emotional problems. One might almost call it inhuman. Oh, that’s right, you are.” And then she glares at him a little bit/is about to snark back before Three/D’Anna pulls her focus back.

SAM \o/

Yay, baby is crying! Also…like…they are implying that Hera is Way more premature than she actually is? If we’re at around day 270 (assuming nine thirty-day months), she was conceived on day 24. That puts Athena at 35 weeks along, which is…way closer to term and actually around when someone with placenta previa might be induced (I looked into this for an unrelated story). …and also that’s counting from the date of conception, not the date of last menstrual cycle. If we assume an average four-week cycle, that would put her at around 37 weeks, which is pretty damn close to full term and no longer considered premature? (37-38 weeks is ‘early term’ and used to be considered full-term).

…then again, Athena was having morning sickness way early and the timeline of this pregnancy has never really made sense but it Jumps Out At Me, okay XD

...I’m putting way too much thought into this, lol. Let’s move on.

Also Helo is fretting adorably and I love him.

Back to Caprica and Boomer!

“You here to kick me out?” “No.” “You here to help me with my adjustment problems? I could save you some time.” Also I like Boomer’s taste in music. And watching her do pullups. …shut up.

“If you knew what you were, and you lived on Caprica, you know what that makes you? A really good liar.”

“Start with the elephants.” Head!Baltar is helping! Like, Actually helping! (And this gets brought into The Plan!)

Awwww, Boomer’s fake parents are super cute.

“Don’t get religious with this one. What are you thinking?” because Caprica is genuinely devout.

“This is love! I didn’t pretend to feel something so I could screw someone over!” And Caprica looks over at Head!Baltar, who is looking back at her. “I loved them. And then I betrayed them. I shot a man I loved, frakked over another man, ruined his life, and why? Because I’m a lying machine!” And then she throws the picture and the cut on Caprica’s face and yessssss let Caprica be devious.

“Nicely done. You timed it perfectly.” And the sad and slightly-ashamed look she gives him.

((a few months ago, I wrote a monstrosity of an essay on redemption arcs and different types and how they’re used; the second half of it was a whole case study on the way the narrative treats Caprica’s arc vs. Baltar’s. I’m not going to repeat the whole essay here but the gist of it was hers is much smoother/right from the moment of her reintroduction she’s shown to be much softer/much easier to forgive in a lot of ways. And there are Many reasons for that, ranging from the Point of her storyline to the Feelings evoked by an enemy agent vs. a traitor, and also ::gestures:: https://textsfromgalactica.tumblr.com/post/150634851964 …anyway, it’s something I’m going to pay attention to as we see more of Caprica over the next two seasons. But basically, even though I know there are specific Doylistic reasons why we have to highlight her most positive qualities Immediately and stick to them as much as possible, it’s nice to be reminded that she is an extremely talented spy and manipulator.))

“Never saw a Cyon show fear before. Especially the Sixes. Usually so hardcore.” “Feign fear and emotional vulnerability. You’re very good, you know. But I’m better. Let me help you. I’m different.” “I’m different.” “I’m more like you.” “I’m more like you.” “I had someone here. A man. I loved him, and I think he could’ve loved me, eventually.” And ohhhhhhh the way they drift into Unison and the VERY DIFFERENT VIBE to the nuke scene back in season one I love it I love it I love it.

((also I love that line))

And she looks back at him, and there’s a Lot on their faces.

Also there is probably A Lot to unpack here with the Caprica resistance and the types of bombings they’re planning vs. the New Caprica resistance vs. groups like the Demand Peace movement vs. Zarek etc. etc. Especially given when this show was written and came out. But that is not what I am here for personally, at least not for any kind of deep dive, but it is interesting. Especially here, where Sam is laying out the rationale for blowing up the café and it’s presented in a neutral-shading-positive light, even in the episode (slash string of episodes, especially given Gina) that are emphasizing that ‘wait, let’s deconstruct this idea that Cylons aren’t people). And then on New Caprica, there’s no bones about ‘we are doing awful things and the blood will weigh on our hands but it is Necessary.’ And again with Zarek and other on-screen bombers and…yeah. It’s a Thing.

“Three minutes, ten seconds.” “Boom.” The way he says ‘boom,’ man.

“I always loved the view. Sunlight on the water…it’s my favorite spot in the universe.” “Yes, it’s magical. Too bad you nuked it.” “After I downloaded, I went back to the ruins of his house.” “Why?” “Like you, I was looking for some kind of connection to him. Found some of his things, even held onto them for a while. But then I realized they were keeping me from truly embracing my new life.” “So what’d you do with them?” “I burned them. But I felt liberated.” “Yeah, it’s a beautiful story, isn’t it. Shame it’s all a pack of lies.” And then the little Look they share, and the way she reaches for the glass…and then she’s a lot better at covering the gesture to Someone Who’s Not There than Gaius is XD

“He was the one who betrayed us?” “Us--oh, I love it. This one thinks she’s more human than Cylon. Just like someone else I know.”

And then her FACE when Boomer tells her. “He’s…he’s alive?” “He’s…the Vice President of the Colonies. You didn’t know that?”

“If I want to toss a baby out an airlock, I’d say so.” I do love that line a lot.

And Head!Six wants him to take the baby.

Awwwwww Athena!!!!!! Her and Helo smiling down at the baby and so so so cute I love them they deserved better.

“Our little girl--we made her!” “Almost makes you want to believe in the Cylon god. …almost.” “I love you so completely.” So cuuuuuuuuuute.

“Why do you think they kept it from you?” “Is the wrong question.”

“She’s frakking with you. Can’t you see it?” “But why?” “Oh, it’s so perfectly obvious. You know, for a self-aware cybernetic lifeform, sometimes you can be unbearably obtuse.” “Oh, for God’s sake.” “Careful.” SUDDEN UNEXPECTED THREE. She does that a lot in this episode, doesn’t she XD

“I was hoping you’d see the light after talking to our friend here.” “She is lying, unfortunately. She has no wish to see Sharon cured. They’re just going to do it. They’re going to box her.”

And Boomer isn’t sure what Caprica’s playing at but she’s following her lead because Three is giving off Vibes. “What about now? I’ll help! The apartment’s right upstairs.” “Sure. Let me just get some things.”

And Sam’s ohshit face when there’s a Centurion in the garage.

Lot of classic cars down here, too.

But Sam distracted the Centurion before it could pull the cigarette and then it blew up before it could fire back. Yay!

“This is not a debate. This child will not be raised by the Cylon, and I cannot risk Cylon agents getting their hands on it. What I need from you is your help.” “Fine. I don’t like it, but have it your way.” And of course she already has a list of adoptive parents ready.

((So I 100% understand what Roslin is doing here and why. I also 100% understand why, in all the lists I’ve seen of her Best and Worst decisions, stealing the baby almost always tops the Worst list (attempting to steal the election sometimes beats it out.)))

And they do what they can for Caprica with what they have down here and offer a mercy kill so she can download because Pain but she refuses. “I’m not gonna give up on life again.”

Oh yeah that was. A Very Serious Break.

SAM BEING A CYLON MAKES THIS WHOLE THING EVEN BETTER BECAUSE WE’RE ALL CYLONS HERE.

…huh, Sam has to recognize Three, there are only so many skinjob faces, but he’s pretty chill? I wonder if some of his buried memories got shook loose by the concussion (and then immediately reburied by the second concussion XD)

“Humans don’t respect life the way we do.”

“I won’t let you kill him.” “She’s right. Don’t kill him.” “Why not?!” “Hm. Why not kill him? You’ve already killed billions of people. Do you honestly believe one more body is going to weigh any heavier on your conscience?” “…we should interrogate him. Find his accomplices.”

“She was on Caprica a couple of weeks ago.” TIMELINES MEAN NOTHIIIIIIIIING “She escaped with the help of another Sharon.” “If she gave him this, he meant something for her.” And Three tosses it aside with contempt, and it lands next to Caprica.

“You have it in your hand. Hard physical proof of one person’s love for another. If only felt this deeply about us.” “I did. …I do. I love you, Gaius.” “Where’s the tangible proof?”

Oh god the way Sharon is crying. “I should’ve been here.”

“I don’t kill patients.” And yeah Sharon is not hearing that right now and I cannot at all blame her. And based on the look on his face, neither can Cottle.

And that shot of Helo releasing the ashes into space, and Chief is with him, and  :(((((((((((((

Oh right this terrifying bit. Especially when lined up against all the Caprica and Head!Baltar stuff.

“You let them murder our child.” And he’s shaking. “I am so sorry. I tried.” “God’s will was that our child should survive.” And he’s crying. And she hauls him up. “His will was that you would protect her,” and then she slams him against the wall. “You have committed a monstrous and unforgiveable sin and you and your entire wretched race are going to suffer God’s vengeance.” And the fact that it is so quiet, other than when she throws him across the room, is. Is what makes it so much more terrifying. Because we’ve seen her rage loud before--like in the nuke scene--but this. Fuck.

Maya is such a sweetheart. And one of the few fully unproblematic people in this show XD

“The mother must remain anonymous for political and religious reasons.” And Roslin’s like “I’m gonna drop in occasionally” and Maya is just so happy to have a baby after she lost hers that she doesn’t realize that’s a little Weird.

“Thank you. I know how awful this was for you. But trust me, it was imperative. As far as the Cylons know, this child no longer exists. That is a good, good thing.” And Cottle on one level knows that, but on another level--he was the one who had to face Sharon and Helo’s grief.

“At least I’m not a murderer. I have a conscience. And I know the difference between right and wrong.” “A murderer is exactly what you are.”

“Life is short, but the next one’s not. Let your heart adrift, and your soul will get caught.” “I love you, Gaius. My heart and soul are yours.”

“You know why they wanted you to work with Sharon? So you’d lose your mind. They’re going to box you, darling, just like they’re going to box Sharon.” “…we’re dangerous. Sharon and I. we’re celebrities in a culture based on unity. Our voices count. More than hers. More than others. We’re two heroes of the Cylon, right? Two heroes with different perspective on the war? Perspective based on our love of two human beings? That’s why she wanted me to work with you. So you’d tell me that Gaius was still alive. She wanted me to lose my mind.” “You’re corrupted by your experiences. You’re a waste.”

And she took her eyes of Sam and he’s eyeing the gun.

“Believe the lies. Ignore the truth. Listen to me. I will show you the proof. Speak from your heart. Say the things that you know to be true.” “Jealousy, murder, vengeance--they’re all sins in the eyes of God. That’s what you and I know. That’s what they don’t want to hear.” “Because then they’d have to rethink what they’re doing. They’d have to consider that maybe the slaughter of mankind was a mistake!”

Debris shifts! And he goes for the gun!

“God loves me!” and then Caprica bashes her head in with a rock. “See you again soon!”

And they let Sam go. “You can stay and be tortured if you want. Your call.” And they give him the tags, the Tangible Proof. “…who are you? What kind of people are you?” “I don’t know.” And then Sharon gives him the gun!

“How long until she downloads?” “There were a lot of people in the café. At least 36 hours before they get to her. …long enough?” “For what?” “To change things for the better.” “What are you talking about?” “I have never loved anyone more in my life than I love you now.” “Our people need a new beginning. A new way to live in God’s love. Without hate. Without all the lies. All they need is for someone to show them the way. Someone like two heroes of the Cylons.” And she reaches out her hand. “I’m with you.”

I really wish this had Lasted. And I know that New Caprica crushes a lot of this optimism but.

“We found them! They’re alive!” “Yes, we are.” “We’re alive.” Echoing that thread ‘are you alive’ from way back in the miniseries--the first words in the show, I think.

I love this episode so much.

Lay Down Your Burdens 1:

Baltar gets the previously-on!

Hurray for debate prep (although nothing will ever beat Abbey cutting Bartlett’s tie in that one West Wing episode XD)

YAY WE’RE GOING BACK FOR SAM! Aka the part of this season finale I actually like lol

Damn losses of up to 20%.

“Everything will turn out as it should.” Not as reassuring as you think it is.

“What happens if the moderator doesn’t have a pencil?” “Then you’re pretty screwed.” Lol

And Athena is here to be an interface again! Slightly less Distressingly than the last time I hope.

“Don’t let your anger drive you into blasphemy, Gaius.” And then she pets him. And then she slams his face into the table.

“Ready?” “Yeah, just taking a little nap.” And the way he’s so casual about saying it. Man.

And Lee giving the people going on the rescue mission a pep talk

“We find any rock with food and water, I’ll build you a bar.” Lol.

“You okay?” “Can I go now?” Athena :(((((((((((

“I’m going to wipe the floor with you Gaius.” Yeeeeeeep she is.

And Helo checking in with Athena and :(((((( “don’t shut me out, not now.” “Something dark is coming, Helo. I can feel it. I can feel it lurking out there, waiting.” “What do you mean? Back on Caprica?” “No, not on the mission. Not any specific thing. It’s more like a dark time.”

And now there’s this bit. Fuck fuck fuck.

49,579!

CAVIL! God what an entertaining asshole.

“You thought you’d have an easier time with a priest than a real doctor, okay.”

“I pray to the gods every night, but I don’t think they listen to me.” “You know how useless prayer is? Chanting and singing and mucking about with old half-remembered lines of bad poetry. And you know what it gets you? Exactly nothing.” “……are you sure you’re a priest?” “I’ve been preaching longer than you’ve been sucking down oxygen.” LOL

“The problem is, you’re screwed up, heart and mind. Not the gods, not fate or the universe, you.” “Thanks for the pep talk.”

“I hope you find him, Kara. I really do.” “So do I.”

Yeah, he kind of is an empty suit when it comes to actual policy. Which is why Zarek is involved, because he thinks he can be the puppetmaster if he can just get Gaius through this election.

“You gotta keep hitting her on the religious thing.” “The mob isn’t usually in the habit of electing godless apostates who denigrate people of faith.” And Head!Six draping herself over Zarek XD it’s gotta be a special kind of fun, acting around someone else’s hallucination, especially when said hallucination is in your physical space like that lol

“I’m so assured right now, Tom, that I’m just going to sit back and wait for the hand of God to reach down and change my political fortunes. How about that.”

And Kara asks for a private talk with Adama to say thank you and goodbye. “Did I ever say thank you?” “No. then again, that would be a first, wouldn’t it.” “::laughs:: Thank you.” “Just come back in one piece. That’ll be thanks enough. Good hunting.” Awwwwww

Aww, Sharon. “I still can’t believe you talked me into this.” “It’s important. And I’ll be with you, there and back. It’s you and me from now on, no matter what. Just like we agreed.” “I know, I know. And I appreciate it, Helo. I really do. …I just can’t get her out of my head. Our little girl.” And the Marines are watching and yeaaaaah. Poor babies.

Yeah it is MUCH less disturbing when it’s like an IV and not an improvised whatever the fuck that was.

Oh, Racetrack. Who knows what went wrong but of course she found the Important Thing, she finds all the important things now that Boomer is gone.

“Mission rules say we keep going until we lose three, so we keep going. Racetrack will just have to find her way back to base. Hell of a way to start, though.”

“Were you having a nightmare when she woke you up?” “I don’t remember,” he lied, like a liar. “Oh. Been having any recurring dreams lately?” “No.” “Okay. That’s what we in the pray trade call a lie. And lies won’t get you anywhere.” Look Cavil isn’t quite on Zarek’s level of “and then there’s THIS asshole (affectionate);” mostly because while he is Very Entertaining/Funny, he’s not…well, he’s not Zarek. But at the same time XD

Yeah that is an Unsettling dream. “Every night it’s the same.” “For how long?” “A couple weeks?” “You were having the same dream when Cally woke you up, right?” “I don’t know. I don’t remember. …does it matter?”

“I don’t have a secret desire to kill myself.” “You’re right, it’s obvious. The question is, why?”

“Hey, you know what this is? It’s habitable.” Barely, but they don’t know that yet. “Maybe we’re not just a bunch of frakups after all.

Yay, Felix’s tattoo!

“Less than 20% of that place even supports human life, so--” “you’re not seeing the big picture. This is your new home. The place where you’ll start a new life. This is your future, Gaius.” “Oh, well, there’s a difference of opinion.” “What’s that?” “Oh, nothing, Tom.” lol Zarek is Not used to Baltar’s madness the way the others are.

Also, like…I can’t help but remember two years ago Head!Six promising Vengeance, and I know it’s not as simple as not listening to her, not with everything she is to him, buuuuuuuuuuuuut.

“You are a genius.” “And?” LOL “Pay attention. You’re about to win the election.” “…I’m sorry. What were you saying, Tom?”

“It may look dreary, it may be dreary, but it’s solid ground under your feet and a real sky above your head. You’d be surprised how much that means to people cooped up in metal boxes for nine months.” True, which is why this works. But.

LOL “He’s a smart sexy man like you.”

“Give up.” “What?” “Give up…on Earth?” “Yes.” “…it’s starting to look like a lovely little planet after all.”

“People vote their hopes, not their fears. Baltar’s offering them what they want to hear, and you’re offering them bitter reality.” Yep. Yep yep yep. I mean, that’s not 100% true, plus he’s actually kind of playing on both fear and hope (with the whole ‘this is a refuge because nebula’ aspect).

“Oh, for gods’ sake, Chief! You think you’re a Cylon!” “I’m not a Cylon.” “Of course you’re not. But that’s what you’re afraid of, that you might be a Cylon and not even know it. Just like Boomer. Right?” oh the Hilarious in Hindsight XD

“The truth is, you might [do a terrible thing]. But not because you’re a Cylon. Because you’re a human being, and human beings do terrible things all the time.” “But how do you know I’m human?” “Oh, well maybe because I’m a Cylon and I haven’t seen you at any of the meetings.” IT’S FUNNY CAUSE IT’S TRUE.

Aww, weirdly cute how Cavil is pointing out that the deck crew are Chief’s family. And also weirdly horrible. Because it’s Cavil saying it.

And the last jump taking them into atmosphere! “Be ready for wind shear, rain, storms--anything.”

Oh noooooooooo one raptor jumped right into a mountain. And when Helo realizes how they lost that one. Oh man.

And because he interrupted, Baltar gets the last word. Yay.

“Not your night, I guess.” “Why don’t you go frak yourself.” LOL

Sneaking through the pretty, pretty radioactive forest!

Oh, hey, using Helo’s actual name for like the third time in the series!

…man, winter must have been hell for Sam’s people.

YAY SAM

“Is there a Kara Thrace there?” “If there is, tell her she took her good sweet time getting here!”

Yaaaaaay hugs ^_^

“All right, just shut up and save us already.” Looooool I love them

Aaaaaand now we’re getting shot at/bombed/Something Not Good.

Ah, shelled. From between their current position and the raptors. Very Not Good.

Lay Down Your Burdens 2:

Starbuck gets the previously on! ((The subtitles are pretty consistently wrong on these))

Huh, for some reason I thought Gina was in more episodes than this? I mean I also thought that the election arc was longer so make of that what you will.

Yeah that bit in the previously-on was cut from the prior episode. So maybe Gina was in more episodes, but most of her scenes got cut.

Oh man and right from the previously-on into the credits I don’t think they usually do that???

49,550. Probably accounting for the raptor that jumped into a mountain.

Wow the flashy bits just. Right away show Cloud 9 getting blown up.

Lol Cottle, I love you.

This was also Never going to be a healthy relationship and just. Man.

“It was me. I may have been out of my mind and didn’t know where I was or what I was doing, but it was me.” Good on Chief for taking responsibility for what he did.

Aaaand then the shooting just. Stops. Which is Also disturbing.

Because like Sharon says, they want living prisoners. Yeaaaaaah.

And Helo’s face, hearing Starbuck offering Sam a suicide pact if that happens wow.

“He’s got the only issue people care about.” “That’s all anyone wants to talk about, this frakking planet. …excuse my language.”

“I know that settling on this planet will be a disaster for humanity and I will not say otherwise just to win an election.”

“There’s always a backup plan for victory.”

And after eighteen hours, no knockout gas lands on them. I do love timestamps, though!

“They could’ve overrun us any time during the night.” “They’re up to something.”

“Do the same thing we always do. Fight ‘em ‘til we can’t.” Oh maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.

And now we send out a recon crew to see what the frak is happening! Aaaaaand the Cylons are no longer there! “They just left.”

“Thank the gods! It’s a miracle.” HI PHILOSOPHER!CAVIL YOU ACTUALLY ARE “and then there’s this asshole (affectionate)”

And of Course he’s the priest Roslin was talking to (since his chapel’s on Galactica per The Plan it does make sense plus conservation of characters and Let’s Really Drive Home That We’re Introducing Another Cylon Here In The Most Intense Way XD)

Don’t be a dick, Gaius.

“The question of permanent settlement may be the most important question we’ve faced since the attacks.” “I agree.” “Good.” And then she wants to table the notion until after the election which yeah he was never going to agree to that. But it was worth a shot. Exhausting all other options before going for stealing the election.

(Also it’s what they actually should do but that’s neither here nor there.)

“This issue transcends personal disagreement as well as politics. I am appealing here to your sense of patriotism.”

…and it’s very telling that we don’t see Head!Six in this scene, despite it (I think?) being more his POV than Roslin’s. and that he took that pause before answering her.

And he’s already named it New Caprica, or someone did.

Ooooooh. “Were you with a blonde woman on Caprica just prior to the attack?” (And, again, that on its own is not actually damning but when you add it together with all the other Little Things, amplified by her personal hatred for him…yeaaaaah.)

And there’s Head!Six! “She knows.”

“She can see right through you. Get out of here now.”

And Ellen and Saul are Bickering as they so often do.

Oh, Chief shaved since last episode.

“Am I good or what?” “There’s gonna be no living with her now.” LOL

Awwww, that little nosewrinkle before Bill hugs her.

LOL that “I see” was very much “Dad sizing up his daughter’s new boyfriend” XDXDXD

And Chief’s face when he hears Philosopher!Cavil’s voice confirming the truce!

And Helo’s little glance at Athena; did she know and not say something.

“Well, this is an awkward moment. Yes, he’s right, I’m a Cylon. And I have a message. So, take me to your leader.” I LOVE PHILOSOPHER!CAVIL!

Aaaaand yeah, Athena gets taken to the brig too and Helo tries to claim she didn’t know but…yeah.

But then when Helo goes to talk to her. “Why the frak didn’t you say anything?” “I don’t know. Maybe I didn’t want to. Maybe I wanted him to come back and blow up the whole ship. Is that what you’re looking for?” “You don’t mean that. Sharon, we finally got the Admiral trusting us. Finally! And what?!” “They killed my baby. You think I care about you or us or whether the Admiral trusts me anymore?” and she’s not entirely telling the truth there, but she’s not entirely lying, either.

“Sharon I LOVE YOU and I am not giving up this frakking easy, not after everything!” and…I’m actually kind of okay with not seeing how they work back together/get married over the skipped year? Because they’re my babies and I want them to be happy. Only good things for the fighting Agathons.

LOL Sam. “You don’t have to get me drunk, I will sleep with you.”

But yeah that’s some mood whiplash, jumping from that scene with Helo and Athena to this one with Sam and Kara.

Sudden Unexpected Lee! Frakking Quadrangle of Why.

“Do you wanna meet my man?” “Your man?” “My personal property. Right, Sammy?” “Don’t call me Sammy.”

“Lee, when are you gonna get yourself a girl?” “I’m doing fine, thank you.” “You’re not still frakkin’ Dualla, are you?” and then he’s like “okay she’s at This stage of drunk and also the Awkward I’m just gonna bow out.” Also Sam gives her a little “really? Not cool” look, which I appreciate. He and Dee deserved so much better than the Quadrangle of Why.

“I mean, I’m not one to like lecture or anything, cause I’ll do anything to get into the pants of some hot little young thing--” “hey! Is that all I am to you?” “Yes, but you love it.” “It’s all right, I don’t mind doing charity work.” XD Okay I genuinely do love Sam and Kara and also Smoothie King is playing in my head again (one of the three best decisions I made for that Cylon ship mix a million years ago XD)

((the other two were ‘as long as you love me’ for helo and athena and ‘grace is gone’ for the tighs. …actually the ones I had for gina/baltar and tory/baltar were pretty good, too but not on the level of those three. …I’m pretty proud of that mix in general.))

And she does mutter something that I think is ‘you know you’re more than that to me.’ And then the door shuts and she’s like “where did he go?” and then Sex happens XD

“I’m here to deliver a message. After that, you can do whatever you want with me. I don’t care.” “Would you mind telling me what’s going on? I’m not a frakking Cylon! I’m not--oh. Well. Okay, then.” Still the best XD “Sorry to bust up your day, brother.”

And Fleet!Cavil deathglaring at Philosopher!Cavil because he’s Not Happy but then Immediately jumps in to dunk on humanity. “You see, we’re not like you. We can admit our mistakes and we’re not afraid of change.”

“So you abandoned the Colonies, leaving behind a devastated nuclear wasteland.” “And we’re supposed to be grateful.”

“We became what we beheld. We became you.” “People should be true to who and what we are. We’re machines. We should be true to that. Be the best machines the world has ever seen. But we got it into our heads that we were the children of humanity. So instead of pursuing our own destiny, of trying to find our own path to enlightenment, we hijacked yours.”

“My mission is to tell you that you’ve been given a reprieve. Cylon and man will go their separate ways. No harm done.” “………..no harm.” Yeaaaaaaaaah.

“Supernatural divinities are the primitive’s answer for why the sun goes down at night. At least that’s what we’ve been telling the others for years. Can’t really prove it one way or another, of course.” “I know a way to prove it. Throw them both out the airlock, let them see if there really is a Cylon god.”

It is really interesting, watching Fleet!Cavil take cues from Philosopher!Cavil here. Also the way Fleet!Cavil was watching Tigh through not-insignificant chunks of that conversation, I think especially on the ‘children of humanity’ line? Let me rewind to check. …hard to tell, actually, if he’s looking at Adama or Tigh. Oh, well.

Oh, hey, the Demetrius is listed on the board of ships for the vote tally! Neat!

That’s a nice little procedural blip, with Zarek questioning the military having a role in counting the votes. And one of the cases where I think he’s fully genuine, and not making a Good Point but for Such Self-Serving Reasons that he undercuts it.

Okay, 21,569 for Baltar, 17,754 for Roslin.

And now Tory sends the signal to steal the election. “There are only five ships left to report in. we need to move now.” And Tigh as her co-conspirator! And also Dee.

And the stolen votes are from the Zephyr! Which is I think where the Quorum is, or was a few episodes ago. And also comes up again with Hughes at the end of S3.

Except now they’re saying this is the last one?

24,265 for Roslin, 22,366 for Baltar. But it will be double-checked.

“I’ve seen a lot of elections, Gaius. Most honest, a few fixed. And you can always tell the fixed ones because they don’t make sense. And this doesn’t make sense.” “Laura Roslin is many things. But she’s not corrupt. And she’s not dishonest. It’s over.” And again we get one of Gaius’s Genuine moments here.

“I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but are you as shocked as I am?” “I’m relieved.” “Well, you don’t sound it.” “I’m just tired. It’s been a long campaign.”

Aaaaaaand Gaeta figures it out because he is a Good Bean.

I wonder how they misspelled Gaius. Probably either dropped a letter or doubled one XD

“Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I’ll take care of it from here.” And Gaeta’s like “okay but we have to let the observers and the press--” “I said I’ll take care of it from here.”

Aaaaand Gaeta’s onto Tigh specifically and immediately goes over Tigh’s head and calls Adama. “I’m not sure how to say this.” “Fast and straight, I’d advise.” “Yes, sir. Admiral, I believe that Colonel Tigh is involved in a conspiracy to rig the election for President Roslin.”

And Bill first talks to Tigh, then goes to Roslin. “I agreed [that Baltar as president would be a disaster] but.” And Roslin admits it. “I gave Tory the go-ahead. I didn’t know exactly what she was planning, and I certainly didn’t know about Colonel Tigh. But I did know that she was planning to fix the vote.” “You tried to steal an election?” “Yes, I did. And I got caught. But Gaius Baltar cannot become President of the Colonies, Bill. It cannot happen.” “Laura…I don’t want him as President either, but…” “He’s working with the Cylons. I saw him just before the attack on Caprica with a copy of the tall blonde Cylon woman, the same model who accused him of treason before disappearing from Galactica.” “What the hell are you saying? Why didn’t you say something before this?” “Because I didn’t remember seeing him with that woman until I remembered it when I was dying. I know how that sounds, but it’s real. The same way Kobol is real, and the tomb of Athena is real, and the map to Earth is real. Baltar is working with the Cylons.” “Even if that’s true, we have no proof.” “No, I don’t.” “…do we steal the results of a democratic election or not? That’s the decision. Because if we do this, we’re criminals. Unindicted, maybe, but criminals just the same.” “Yes, we are.” “You won’t do it. You’ve gone this far, but that’s it.” “Excuse me?” “You try to steal this election, you’ll die inside. The people made their choice. We’re gonna have to live with it.” “It’s the wrong choice.” “Yes, it is.” “…all right.”

I don’t really have much to add to that transcription but. Man. Man oh man oh man.

And Baltar is like “….what the hell kind of error.” “I suggest you take your victory and leave it at that.” And he will. Because whatever else he is, he does know that things need to Function and if he’s in an open fight with Bill they Will Not. “…I can be magnanimous.”

“Let’s get a good look at our new home. Gods help us all.”

And this conversation with Gina. “I’m not going to New Caprica.” “What? What are you talking about?” “I’m not going to New Caprica.” “We’re all going to New Caprica. All of us. It’s our chance to be together. To be together again.” “No.” “…I can’t do this anymore.” “…stay?”

This is. Such a sad and uncomfortable moment. Because she knows what she’s about to do, and she’s giving him this before she does even though she doesn’t want to, and he wants her to be Caprica and while he knows on some level she isn’t and ohhhhhhh that shot of her walking out of the frame echoes one from Head!Six earlier and oh man. Oh man oh man oh man. And that shot of her reaching for his hand and him taking it also echoes some stuff on Kobol and this is so fucked up.

And Some Other Priest swears Baltar in. And it’s cut together with him and Gina and and and and.

And then Gina with the bomb as he’s Actually being sworn in and giving the order to settle New Caprica.

And her sitting naked in front of the nuke.

Oh shit Cloud Nine takes out at least one other ship when it goes I had forgotten that. Holy shit.

“We suspect the warhead was stolen from your lab, then smuggled aboard Cloud 9 by a Cylon agent.” And Bill suggests they focus on internal security. “No. our first priority is to see that people are safely established on New Caprica. Once that’s accomplished, we can put this tragedy behind us.” “You’re not listening.” “I don’t have to listen. I’m the President.”

And that shot of him Alone at the desk. That very long shot as he’s starting to break down.

One year later!

Okay so there might be another legislature besides the Quorum? Whatever the People’s Council might be.

Lol the painting.

People complain because they’re safe now. They have room in their minds and time on their hands to focus on these (seemingly and not actually in some cases) petty issues.

Yeaaaaah he’s spent the whole year high. (which I headcanon as him trying to keep Head!Six at bay.)

Okay, day 380 of the settlement. And all those shots of empty rooms/halls on Galactica because most people have settled.

Aaaaaaand I’m sorry I know that Very Serious Shit is about to happen but the MOUSTACHE XDXDXDXD

“I feel like I’m abandoning my post.” Aw, Tigh. “It’s time to pack it in, Saul. You know it. More than half the crew is down there on the ground already. We can barely put a squadron in the air to train, much less fly a CAP.” “You’re staying. “Someone has to take care of the lighthouse.”

“We’ve been orbiting New Caprica longer than we were running after the attack. I don’t think they’re coming back anymore. Colonel, if she gives you too much trouble…find yourself a younger one.” I do love them being Bros. We haven’t seen enough of that lately.

39,192 people on New Caprica/in the settlement.

And Sam is playing sportsball despite being very sick. And the wedding tattoo!!!

“Can’t believe I married a moron. Are you okay?”

And Cottle’s been out of antibiotics for months. “But he’s young and he’s strong. Make him rest, keep him warm. With a little luck, he’ll make it.”

And Saul and Ellen wander into the Union rally and Cally is VERY pregnant.

Chief is adorable with glasses.

Awwwww, look how happy Saul and Kara are to see each other! There are HUGS!!!!!

And Pegasus is sitting on the backup meds, so Kara has to go to Apollo. “He’d spring some for you.” “Yeah, I doubt that.” “That was a long time ago. People change.”

Yay school! I know someone did the math and there are actually not a whole lot of kids in the fleet, which…well, given Black Market is probably Good. (based on the final election tallies and total population at the time, with an assumed 18 voting age)

Hi Hera!

And Dee got promoted!

“I need a favor.” “Is that right.” “Yeaaaaah Lee is still pissed at her. And…yeah, I can’t…quite blame him.

And then the conversation is interrupted by Dee picking up something on DRADIS and yeeeeep the Cylons have found them.

“We have to get out of here.” “We can’t just leave them all behind. They’ll be wiped out.” “We don’t have a choice. We need to leave, now.” And Helo is doing what Gaeta used to do. “All decks finally report Condition 1, sir. Should we launch the alert fighters?” “…no. begin jump prep. We’re leaving. But we’ll be back.”

“The Cylons just jumped into orbit. And the Fleet’s jumped away.” And he listens to the noise and watches things rattle and suddenly Head!Six is back in that godawful silver dress. “Judgment day.”

Hi Leoben! Why are you creepy.

((…have we seen Any other Twos this season until now??? I don’t think we have. Even in Downloaded, we just saw Threes, Fives, Sixes, and Eights…))

And the door lighting up and this moment Almost echoes that first shot of Corinne, except no centurions. A Five, an Eight (Boomer?) and then Caprica.

And...I think maybe he Knows it’s her, there’s that little Flicker. And then he stands up. “I’m Gaius Baltar, President of the Colonies.” “I know who you are Gaius. I know very well.” ...well if he didn’t know before, he does now. “As long as you offer no resistance, you won’t be harmed.” And he looks over at Gaeta. “How do I know that?” “You don’t. You also don’t have any choice.” “…how did you find us?” Stalling. “It was quite by accident, actually. We were over a light-year away from here when we detected the radiation of a nuclear detonation.” And he realizes. He realizes what he’s done, unintentionally, all over again. (although this time he really should’ve known better, given past experience and also this time it was a nuke).

“Very well. On behalf of the people of the Twelve Colonies, I surrender.”

And like…at this point, he really doesn’t have any other option. What else could he do? If he refuses, best-case scenario, he gets shot and they move on down the chain of command until they find a President who will surrender (or lose patience and nuke the planet from orbit). Worst-case scenario, they skip all that, pull back, and jump straight to nukes. Surrender really is the only option.

It’s…everything he does after this that’s a Problem.

“What do you want to do now, Captain?” “Same thing we always do. Fight ‘em ‘til we can’t.” Yessssssssssss. And we end the season with that closeup on Kara’s face and just. Yes. I love it.

The Plan:

I do love the Prelude Words being spoken by various Cylons. It was…only Tigh of the Final Five, and nothing from Three (because Lucy Lawless is playing Dame Not Appearing In This Film), and I don’t think any Fives were involved (not sure why, they Are in this movie)? But the rest of the Significant Seven and also the basestar Hybrid.

“I figured out what went wrong.” “Well, that’s a useful revelation to have when you’re standing in front of an airlock!” “Every killing of a human being was a grievous error. Do you want to know why?” “I really don’t.” I love Philosopher!Cavil and Fleet!Cavil bickering. (especially given how this ends with them)

Okay, ten months ago was two weeks before the attack which…yeah, that lines up with the Somewhere Between 280 and 290 from Lay Down Your Burdens 2.

Yesssssss loving the All Along The Watchtower music.

“When they resurrect they’ll return with apologies dripping from their lips like jewels.” “Yes, be prepared for some very sticky hugs.” LOL

Okay. So. 14 hours is that one conversation from the miniseries. “No you did it because you love me.” That still gets me, and especially since this aired after the Daybreak flashbacks provide some additional context…

“0700 tomorrow Caprica City time.” Relevant to me for secret fic purposes XD

“I recommend you leave this body behind. The alternative won’t make for a pleasant memory. Oh, and I hear that poison is really not that bad.” But she wants those last moments with Gaius, and to tell him the truth. brain, stop, we rejected that AU where she comes clean several months earlier do not resurrect it

“Love outlasts death. Apotheosis was the beginning before the beginning. The flower inside the fruit that is both its parent and its child. Jump.” Gotta love Hybrid babble! And how cool and calm she is until she gets to ‘jump’

Yeah, this is not an airport bar, Ellen. It is possibly a strip club.

Cavil can you tone down the Oedipus complex please.

“So you don’t have a name?” “I…am a mysterious stranger.” “Oooooh.”

“Everyone hold onto the lap bar, please.”

lock s-foils in attack position sorry wrong fandom XD

Oh, hey, the bartenders are topless, neat.

“Well I’ve lived in this world a long time, and I’m proud to say I haven’t learned any gods-damned lessons!” oh, Ellen. XD

And there’s Barolay with her Very Red hair!

“What you gonna do now, Sam?” “Shoot ‘til I can’t, Coach.” Niiiiiiice, especially lined up with Kara’s Line.

Oh shit watching the attack from the ground is. Oh shit. Seeing the bombs dropping.

…yeah, I think the walls around Anders’ memories are thinnest. “This has happened before.”

And that very very slight smile from Caprica!Simon.

YAY FLEET!SIMON!!!!

And there’s Shelly!

“The farms of Aerilon are burning. The beaches of Canceron are burning. The plains of Leonis are burning. The jungles of Scorpia are burning. The pastures of Tauron are burning. The harbors of Picon are burning. The cities of Caprica are burning. The oceans of Aquaria are burning. The courthouses of Libran are burning. The forests of Virgon are burning. The temples of Gemenon are burning.”

And that dispassionate list over the Centurions executing survivors and the transition shot of Caprica City whole and then ruined and the Gemenon one and I think Libran and then the burned bodies…before panning up to the mushroom cloud and. Shiiiit. They uh. They did Not pull punches with this one.

((….also they’re missing one who are they missing ::googles the zodiac:: SAGGITARON.))

“If anyone can still hear me--are we on? I’m gonna keep broadcasting as long as I can. It keeps getting close--”

…also did Tory only join Roslin’s staff for the campaign or had she been there for a while before? Interesting question.

And then the team Panicking and Sam trying to keep them together. “We can’t lose our heads. We gotta find somewhere we can get some frakking perspective. We go anywhere, we go together, and we go when it’s safe.”

And Tory crawling out of her wrecked car and then panning out to show the devastation and some kind of SAR plane landing behind her.

((…I am a little Questions on the timeline here? Mostly in terms of…exactly how long does all this take? Long enough for at least a Couple of planes to get off the ground and meet up with the fleet…eh, I guess this part can be handwaved, it takes as long as it needs to to get various characters into position.))

Oh, wait, Ellen is also leaking. “This has happened before. Oh, gods. Am I gonna die?” “No, your suffering isn’t over yet. Not when you’ve got so much left to learn.”

Oooh, that’s a dead/damaged Centurion, so either instability/debris or people Are fighting back right from the start.

And then the raider taking off Right by the bridge they’re peering over.

“What do you want to do, Coach?” “I don’t know. What do you think?” “I don’t know. ::realizes everyone is looking at him:: …we can’t stay here. We gotta go. Stay low, stay fast, let’s go!”

Gianna!

And now jumping ahead to the note that got passed to Bill. And the way it cuts to that shot of Baltar in CIC implies that he’s the one that left it [which mostly matters for TOB purposes because…that would mean that they have No Idea how many models there actually are]

And while Ellen is barely conscious, she just asks for Saul.

“Of the five who created the rest of us, four are in this fleet. Does it seem cruel, keeping you alive? It is cruel, who am I kidding? But it’s also necessary. For 30 years you failed to observe the moral failures of humanity, against whom you find me lacking. Get better, Mother. Open your eyes and take a gander at what you think you love.”

Oh, hey, they’re already at the school! And Sam’s already pulling together plans from movies, and has gathered More People who can Make Things Go Boom.

“There’s a real possibility we’re all gonna die here. So I say it all comes down to how we die.”

And we’re at 8 days! Gathering photos.

“They’re awfully quiet.” “They’re numb. They’ve lost everything and now we’re putting them through the wringer just trying to get away.” And Tigh bumps into Cavil without recognizing him.

VERA! And that Smile when she and Cavil recognize each other, and he catches a glimpse of Fleet!Simon in the background.

Huh, his fliers don’t have the corners cut off XD

((Vera is my name for Tough!Six/Hooker!Six/Punk-Rock!Six/whatever the cool kids are calling her these days XD))

“The plan is, everything blows up a week ago. All the humans are dead and we Cylons all download and the universe basks in justice. However--” “That didn’t frakking happen.”

And Vera’s like “let’s cut to the chase and blow up Galactica.” And Shelly’s like “also need to protect ourselves from detection.” “Very good, Sixes,” Cavil says. And he says there’s a sleeper Eight. “Now, Two, you come with me. Let’s get this genocide started.”

Ohhhhhhh broken-open Raider wing is. Disconcerting. With all the squishy bits showing. Yikes.

And Leoben gets put on figuring out communications--both with a basestar next time one’s in range and listening in on the human military. “And send in a Six. Dealer’s choice.”

Explosives in a pyramid ball! It is indeed clever. “Like a homemade grenade.”

“If we destroyed it, he’d just make another.” “Which is why we have to discredit him.” “Me? Well, if he sees one of us, he’ll know what we are. …but he can’t say anything without saying how he knows.” “Very smart. Or maybe it’s the glasses.”

…so the question here is: why not just kill him? I mean, I guess Cavil tries that with the Five…and I guess discrediting increases Paranoia in the upper ranks more than a targeted assassination would, which is good for Cavil’s purposes.

Aaaaand one of Sam’s people accidentally moves and draws the Centurion’s attention and this. This is gonna go bad. With the Coach making a suicide play to get the improvised bomb into the bunker thing

And then there’s a Raider! Just what we needed. And this was Sam’s plan and at least four or five of his people died.

“I can’t understand how he was discovered. I heard it was Doctor Baltar.” “I’m not talking about that, exactly. I’m talking about how you’re walking around in this fleet wearing that jacket, and--more importantly--that face. You’re recognizable.” “No, his jacket was burgundy. This is teal.” LOL.

“They call this a suicide vest, but I think that undersells all the homicide that goes along with it, don’t you?” why are you this funny Cavil.

“Even robots take their dead.” “There was nothing--” “I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING.” Poor Sam. Poor Barolay. Poor all of them.

And Leoben in his little hideaway listening to the wireless and developing an Obsession.

Elephant!

And then he gets distracted by the kid. “This is a chapel not a bus station. You can’t sleep here.”

Aww, Chief bonding with his new knuckledragger!

As she gets confronted with the Reality of their equipment situation. “There are no spares.” “Welcome to Galactica.”

“Did you need to see me for something, Lieutenant?” “No, I…um…carry on, Chief.” “So, how long have you two been seeing each other?” LOL

And this is not like an office romance in your old job because Chain of Command and other Fraternization Rule issues but still cute.

…how does Cavil get in and out of Boomer’s quarters so easily? I can’t see him like bribing or charming someone into giving her the elephant the way he did with the fliers, just because that’s a little Too likely to bite him in the ass.

And then this flashback to Boomer being put under!!! I read somewhere that the costume this particular Six is wearing is labeled in some source somewhere as Gina’s? Which like…that is Very Flimsy Ground but maybe??? Based on what we see in Razor, she seems to have had a job that involved short-term contracts, which would have put her in a good position to monitor/handle sleepers like Boomer, and yeah occasionally she might have a few weeks where there’s no agent for her to contact But. …yeah IDEK like I said that’s in no way Actually Indicating that this particular Six is Gina But.

“And after you download, make sure to report our position to the fleet.” “Wait I’m…my cover is stronger than expected.” And she admits to the relationship with Chief and Cavil is like “…that’s an Interesting Choice”

“Go get some explosives, blow up the tank, and then have a fatal accident. Right now, I’m late for dinner.”

Rick Worthy’s voice is I Love It So Much.

Sudden Unexpected Cavil! And Simon is like “fffffffuck.”

“Is this your family? Hm?” Ominous. “Stop by sometime. And remember, I know where you live.” VERY OMINOUS.

Right, a bunch of Fives dealing with Bodies. “I never knew this would be so hot and dirty. The smell is…” “I know. Centurions should be doing this.” Lol at the bitchy Fives.

((quick thinking on the part of Philosopher!Cavil but I can’t help but think that if there had been Anyone with Any kind of intelligence/espionage background here it would Not have worked…))

Oh man and Barolay just starts crying. “They’re all alike. T, they gotta be Cylons.” “Frakkers look like us now.”

And Boomer relating how she almost fell apart setting the charges. “We shouldn’t need to breathe,” Cavil mutters. And then Boomer’s like “there are so few of them…they’re not a real threat.” “They are manifestly a threat. You of all Cylons should know that.” And then he tells her to get out of the wet clothes which, Gross. “Fine. Be a prude.” Gross, Cavil. I know that generally Eights are quite comfortable with casual nudity but you’re still being Gross.

And he takes the elephant and she wakes up at the beginning of the Actual episode.

As the Caprica resistance kills a bunch of Fives which is probably Very cathartic for them.

Yep, now there’s Cheering. Which just reminds me of that one bit when Athena knocks out the raiders and the viper pilots just Go To Town.

Okay, explosion was 17 days after the attack.

And Leoben realizes his face is known and goes Deeper into hiding. Living in the walls of his ship, wedged behind a container.

And at some point the resistance got Trucks!

And Simon is very smooth to cover the recognition but Philosopher!Cavil has a moment.

“Four, you’re late.” “It was hard to get away.” “Tell me. Are you reluctant to do more for your people?” “Like what?” “I’m just asking a general question.” “This is all improv, isn’t it?” “Our people were supposed to be positioned to cause destruction, not mop up afterwards! My Two was the Defense Minister’s yoga instructor!” ((which remains Hilarious to me also love how Consistent this government is with minister vs. secretary for cabinet-level positions lol)). “And one of the Sixes was a prostitute! And the only one who was in any position to do any real damage was a Five on this ship, and he frakked it up!!!” Cavil is so mad.

“And don’t you think for a moment that I’m going to be moved by the sweet, adorable fact that you married one of them! You come back tomorrow, and we’ll talk about you blowing up that ship you live on.”

And we’re up to 24 days with Six Degrees!

And Leoben is painting mandalas in his little hideaway, listening to his recordings of Starbuck. Because that’s not creepy at all.

“I think I’m losing it.” Poor Boomer. “Someone wrote ‘cylon’ on my mirror. And I think it was me. I think I was trying to warn myself. Or scare myself into doing what you want. Or out of it.”

“All mankind are our fathers, and that’s the sin for which they deserve to die.” “…I’m happier when I’m under. I’m happier when I’m human. I like myself. I love myself then.” Poor, poor Boomer. “Never say that. Never, never, never. Because if that were true, they win. And they can’t. Look at me. They know your lies. I know you. You can do this. You can kill Adama. For me.” And then there’s a Kiss which was SUPER NECESSARY AND NOT SQUICKY AT ALL.

((protip: if you are handling an undercover agent you should MAYBE NOT MAKE A PASS AT THEM))

Ah, yes. I have to go back through the Slightly Less Awkward But Still Uncomfortable bathroom conversation from Six Degrees again. Yay. …and she is kind of drawn to him because he is just. Catnip for Sixes, I guess.

“I don’t care if she plucked puppies from God’s ass! You’re worse than the Sixes!” LOOOOOOOOOOOOL. And then Cavil bugs out while Leoben is arrested.

And we get Vera covering Shelly’s escape while Cavil yoinks her into an alcove.

Ah yes, this moment where Baltar is like “…I could kiss you but you have a Massive Crush and I don’t want to send the wrong message.”

((…damn it, I think this is an edited version, because there’s a line in there with Simon covering D’Anna’s absence, and also the Pointedly Co-Ed Head With Full-Frontal Nudity. …also I think the bartender back on Picon was blurred out. Ugh. Well, when I get back to the DVDs, I have the full version there.))

“Is Baltar’s machine on the trash heap?” “I did what I could. I don’t know.” “Trying to make a guilty man look guilty. This should be easy.” “We had to fake the evidence! And Dr. Baltar, he helped us so much…” “Are you attracted to this human?” “No!” Because that other Six, she got addicted to him!” “I’m not addicted! He’s a brilliant man! But you should’ve seen me! I was brutal with him! I pushed him!” “My dear, if you had pushed him, you would have sent him through a wall! Oh, look. An airlock. How handy.” “Wait! I could blend into life on another ship, with another disguise!” “Go. And don’t forget to give them our coordinates. I want this finished!” I do kinda feel bad for Shelly.

25 days has Kara interrogating Leoben!

And the implication that when he’s choking her he gets flashes of their Future Encounters…Interesting. ((which means he probably should be marked down as Force-sensitive for crossover purposes.))

And the kid is back in the chapel. But this time Cavil doesn’t immediately kick him out. “So you have parents. Do they want you?” “No.” “Well, two decks below, there’s a room, and there’s people in that room that are in charge of the children that nobody wants. All right, don’t go there. But go somewhere.”

“Is he dead?” “If he’s not dead, he’s dying.” “Thus is the beast decapitated.” “Which inspired you to come and tell me…” “I’ll do it, okay? I’ll blow up my ship. I’ll blow up the Cybele.” “Good.” “One condition. I want my family kept safe.” “No, you don’t want that. You see, if they die now, they die without ever knowing what you are.” Ouch.

“That was the Four. Oh, and Boomer shot the Commander. Things are looking up.” This is. Weirdly almost cute? Them just settling together. “It could hardly go down. The Six failed, the Two failed…” “Every machine needs to warm up. We’re a fleet-killing machine. We just started to hum.” “We just started to hum?” And now handjobs are happening because Sure Why Not XD

52 days, Bill is still out, Cavil goes to see Boomer in prison.

“You shot him, but you didn’t kill him. You didn’t kill him, and things were finally going well!” “I shot him twice in the chest, what more do you want?” “How about once in the head?!” “I told you, I’m not in control. The only way that I could get this done was to turn myself into a Centurion. I could feel the bullets moving through the channels under my hard metal skin. I couldn’t feel my heartbeat.” “Sounds wonderful.” “If there was any part of us that’s human, in that moment I killed that.” “Yes, good, that’s the idea. Now listen, Eight, I need you. And I need to break a string of failures.” “I lost the best part of myself.” “Yes. All right. I see how this is. Goodbye, Eight, and good luck.” And he takes the elephant away. “…I don’t want a priest.” “And you deserve no absolution.”

And Philosopher!Cavil of course claims Helo and Starbuck are skinjobs. “I can’t be sure, though, my memory…”

“Who is it?” “Some random humans. Each side is going to suspect the other. I wish I could watch.”

“Hi.” Very sexy of you, Starbuck.

“So somebody might get shot. Great. You were the one telling me how swift and terrible this was going to be.” I gotta say, I’m a fan of role-reversals in a lot of contexts and this one with the Fleet copies of One and Four and the Caprica copies is definitely hitting the spot. “It’s been two months since those bombs fell, and you’re helping a resistance cell thrive here.” Which does also kind of imply that there are Additional pockets of resistance elsewhere? They…probably died out after the Cylons left. Too small, too isolated, too much radiation…man :(

And Simon wiring the airlock to kill himself cut together with him having very sweet sex with Giana :((((((

And I love this music behind all of it!!!

“I’m sorry,” he tells her. “I really am sorry.” And he holds a picture of her and his stepdaughter, “I love you,” he says, as he sends himself out the airlock.

YES THIS BIT!

“You want a progress report? I’ll give you a frakking progress report. Come on, it is spectacular! Doral blew himself up, causing minor damage to a minor hallway. And Boomer jettisoned the water, and then she personally found loads more water! And then she shot Adama, but not very accurately since she loved him. And then Leoben, he got obsessed with Kara Thrace, and then was captured and airlocked. And my sister Six utterly failed to discredit Baltar and his dreamy hair and destroyed our frakking cover in the process. And now Simon…Simon killed himself. Really killed himself, out of resurrection range, without blowing up the ship that he lived on because he couldn’t imagine life without his little human wife and his little human daughter because he loves them.” “Stop, stop, stop.” “Yeah, I guess I better.” “They’re all letting me down.” “Why are they letting you down, One? What’s the X factor? You can’t declare war on love.” “I think I already did. …hey, where’d the bottle go?”

As she glides out of his room in her underwear and a vest/hoodie and some very cute heels, never to be seen again XD

AND THEN THIS BIT

“I thought he was supposed to kill her in the woods.” “He’s a bad shot. Did she see you?” “No, I stayed out of sight.” “Good. She got a glimpse of me, but she didn’t react. So if there’s a One up in that fleet, she didn’t see him. At least not enough to ring a bell in her tiny brain.” Rude.

“What are they doing?” “You need a doctor to tell you that.” “Oh, for God’s sake. Why?!” “Why? He loves her.” “He loves her.” “Vigorously.” “She’s beneath him.” “…not necessarily.” Love it love it love it XD

And this time Cavil feeds the kid instead of just kicking him out.

“Seems like I never sleep anymore.” Poor Sam. “If you’re looking for a strong leader, you picked a bad time. …bless me, Brother, for I have acted against the example of the gods.” “…proceed, in the name of the gods.” And Sam confesses that he wanted to run after that other fight. “But you changed your mind.” “Well, no. Barolay was there, and she was gonna see me run. And suddenly I find myself worrying about my own frakking reputation. So I didn’t run. And that’s my confession. I’m a godsdamned coward, Brother.” “Well, I suppose you were. But what about now?” “I’m not gonna run anymore. Maybe I’m stronger or maybe I’m just more insane.” “This whole experience has changed you for the better. You’ve learned.” “You know, at the end of a confession, sometimes there’s an ending, or…” “Fine. You are absolved in the example of the gods.” And then Philosopher!Cavil asks the big question--can Sam forgive the Cylons. And Sam’s like are you nuts.

“What was that?” Four asks. “I thought he’d learned. But he loves.” “…what are you really doing here? What does this man mean to you?”

And we jump ahead to 280 days and Chief and Cavil talking! ((and yeah, this is Definitely missing some stuff because I Know there’s a moment added when they rescue Starbuck from the Farm where they send someone back to kill their Simon.))

But we’re cutting back to this scene with Giana and Chief talking, about her realizing that her husband was a Cylon. …I think there was another scene with her, too, after his suicide? …I’ll watch the full version later. Probably won’t update these notes but I’m Annoyed now, haha.)) Anyway that bit must have happened Not Long after Starbuck got back…although having Just Watched It, him walking across the deck to talk to her does echo the opening of his Recurring Dream except with more people around. Or at least it’s Clearly intended to evoke that. Sooooo…yeah IDK.

“My husband…only not. He was a Cylon. I thought he loved me. Gods.” “…maybe he did. I don’t know.” “Someone made him do it. Don’t you think? I mean, they keep finding more of them, and they must have been in contact. Someone is making decisions.” “You think that somebody told them what to do. Ordered them.” “I think Simon was told to do something, and instead he killed himself.” “…Boomer was a better shot than that.” “What?” “When she shot the old man. She was a better shot than that. It’s like she frakked it up on purpose, knowing that the marines would take her head off right then and there, knowing that it was…the only way out she could see.” “So maybe they were heroes, you know? In a way.” “I don’t know about that. Maybe.” “If I thought I was a Cylon, I’d climb this ladder all the way up there. I’d do it with style. I’d swan-dive out of this life.” And then he leans in to kiss her because So Many Confused Feelings and they have a Very Key Thing in common, and... “Sorry. I didn’t mean anything by that.” “I know.”

Oh man and the way she clutches the clipping to her chest and continues to cry.

Maybe that conversation started the nightmares? He said he’d been having them for weeks. And the timeline of S2 is a Mess, so…

And this is new. “I’ve [trusted people] and they all let me down. Every single one. Every single one. So yeah, it should scare the frak out of you. But good luck to you.” And then he leaves.

“There’s hardly anyone left for you to lean on. But you can lean on me.” “You know, the day before I met Kara, I had 98 people. I loved those people.” “But you didn’t need them. And they’re dead. Do you mean to tell me that you go on loving them even when they’re dead?” “What are you talking about? Of course I love those people! Death doesn’t change that, what’s the matter with you?!” And then they’ve sighted the rescue party and Philosopher!Cavil is Thinking.

Ohhhhh and now there’s this creepy-ass scene. The kid comes and offers Cavil an apple. “What’s your name?” “John.” “We’ve become friends, huh? Friends are dangerous things.” And then just that quick, quiet stab, and the kid gasps…

And it’s all cut together with Philosopher!Cavil aiming at Starbuck and Considering it, but unable to pull the trigger. Even after he has a clear shot and Sam’s out of the way. And then he aims at Sam, back at Kara, and he Thinks. And chooses not to shoot.

Oh and the way Cavil just. Shoves the kid off the bed.

“Get the frak out of the way.” Rude.

“Why the cease-fire?” “There’s been a vote. There’s going to be a truce. We just need to convey it to the humans. All of them.” “I can deliver that message.” “Your model voted against it.” “I’ve had a new insight. Besides, there’s nothing for me here.”

And that moment when Fleet!Cavil first sees Philosopher!Cavil is STILL HILARIOUS AND I LOVE IT.

Yeah this version is definitely cutting it to show Philosopher!Cavil Frequently looking at Tigh. And putting a little more emphasis on Tigh in general.

…including cutting Roslin’s part of that scene and having Tigh decide to airlock them both which I don’t know how I feel about that lol. ((I’m guessing it had something to do with money or contracts and Rules for how use of archive footage is handled in things like this? Can’t cut the stuff with Helo or Baltar or Kara and there’s a Lot of them without them Actually being in the thing outside of that but))

And we walk past All of the Final Five on the way to the airlock because Of Course!

And we’re back where we started!

((…it occurs to me that. There is possibly going to be a Slight Bias against identical twins for a while in this culture. Which…well idk how much I want to play with that worldbuilding but…yeah.))

I do love Philosohper!Cavil keeping his hat to make Sure we can tell them apart XD

“Is there a resurrection ship in range?” “Yes, brother, but first we’re going to die in a vacuum.” “There’s a 170 foot launch tube ahead of us. We might die of our injuries before we get to the vacuum.” “…I don’t like you.” “I understand that.” “Do you really believe it was a mistake to attack the humans?” “Rather intensely, yes.” “You know that when we download among the others, your strange ideas will be shouted down.” “Ideas only seem strange until you try them on, brother.” I love that line so much. “We had a temper tantrum in the form of a cataclysm because we wanted them to treasure us, the Ones, more than humanity. More than their own history and blood.” …and also the Rest of that line but that bit about ideas is just. Amazing. “We didn’t want to be loved. We wanted to be treated fairly.” “We wanted to be held to a bosom, to be petted and perfumed and told we were the princes of the universe.” “Yes, well, if the humans were gone…” “Our parents would mourn them. They’d love them more anyway.” “I’m going to see to it that you get boxed. And then I’m going to prepare to wipe out humanity once and for all.” “…the anticipation is…really unpleasant.” “Yes.” And then Philosopher!Cavil holds out his hand and Fleet!Cavil takes it and they die holding hands and Feelings.

As Cavil’s “I want to reach out with something other than these prehensile paws and feel the solar wind of a supernova flowing over me!” line plays over their death.

So I really like this a lot??? I know it’s basically missing/added scenes, But they are Really Good Ones for the most part?? Also showing a One and a Four who did actually learn and grow the way other models are shown as capable of was really nice.

(But not any Fives. Nobody likes the Fives XD)

((I mentioned my Cylon pairing mix a while back; Fives were the only model who were not on there at all XD. ...also Baltar was the individual who appeared the most times on it XD Sixes as a whole beat him but that was across All included Six ships))

#battlestar galactica #bsg #the great bsg rewatch of 2022 #i love everyone in this bar

[crmacgal]

Final Post Here

It's time to say goodbye to my Tumblr posts as I move on to a blog site that will be a little more in line with what I need for my book reviews. I'll still have my previous content from the last few years here to read, but hopefully I'll have better archiving and search capabilities with the new site. Fingers crossed!

Beware The Woman by Megan Abbott

Jacy and Jed have been married for a couple years, and now that they are expecting a baby, they’re finally going on a road trip to spend some time with Jed’s widowed father in Michigan’s isolated UP.  Although the visit starts off wonderfully, with Jacy feeling all of the love and hospitality from Jed’s father, Dr. Ash, after the first few days, things start falling apart with everything being pushed back on Jacy as paranoia…but is it?  I liked this book but felt like much of it was a fever dream---not sure if these things were really happening or if they were just Jacy’s imagination.  Personally, I would’ve preferred a little more clarity on what was really going on, as well as what everyone’s motives were.  For me, this was just okay.

3 Stars

Special Note:  Thank you to the publisher and to NetGalley for allowing me to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

The Spare Room by Andrea Bartz

Kelly has just broken up with her fiancé and is coming to stay with an old high school classmate and her husband.  It’s during the height of the pandemic, so being sequestered in their big, fancy house could turn into a lot of fun, or a huge nightmare.  But when Kelly keeps coming up with questions that her hosts either can’t or won’t answer, something has to give.  This book definitely had me wondering where it was heading and kept me guessing all the way until the very end, which isn’t always easy give all of the suspense fiction I read!  Some mild spice is included in this one, so consider yourself warned!

5 Stars

Special Note:  Thank you to the publisher and to NetGalley for allowing me to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

Jennette’s autobiographical account of growing up with a helicopter mom (to say the least) and how this impacted her life as a child actor.  I listened to this as an audiobook since I wanted to hear directly from Jenette, and I’m glad I did.  It was clear Jenette loved her mom very much---maybe too much---but it also showed the destructive impacts pleasing her mother had on Jenette.  All parent/child relationships can be complicated, but this one definitely takes it to another level.

5 Stars

Survive The Night by Riley Sager

When Charlie’s roommate and best friend is killed by the campus serial killer, she finds that she can no longer focus on school, her boyfriend, or really anything.  The desire to go home and be with her grandmother is so overwhelming that she doesn’t even want to wait until the weekend for a ride from her boyfriend.  Instead, Charlie finds a ride share headed to Ohio from the message boards, except this ride might not take her home at all, and by the time Charlie realizes this, it may be too late for her.  Like all of Sager’s books, this one was hard to put down.  Even though I wasn’t a huge fan of Charlie and the “movies” she’d see play out in her mind, I still found the story compelling and couldn’t wait to find out what was going to happen.  Not my favorite of Sager’s, but still a good read!

4 Stars

#netgalley #rileysager #jennette mccurdy #meganmi #andreabartz

[lilalbatross]

Right okay so I yelled about it a couple days ago but here’s some actual semi-coherent thoughts about AFC Richmond’s roster, positions, formations, etc.

I just want to say off the jump that the show is definitely playing fast and loose with the actual football, which makes sense cause it’s at the heart of the show but it’s definitely not the point of it. A lot of this info is cobbled together from background details like the whiteboards, lockers for certain names and numbers, and me just pausing and squinting at whoever seems to actually be on the field. A lot of this is open to interpretation, and I’m sure others will interpret differently

Having said all that, let’s get into it. Rest of the post is under the cut cause this will not be concise.

Let’s start with our roster. This includes every name I’ve caught from both seasons, hence why Roy and Jan Maas are both listed. 18 and 23 have also had multiple names with those numbers.

For roster purposes, pro teams list players as goalkeepers, defenders, midfielders, and forwards. I’ll do the same and add a fifth category I’m calling IDFK cause I haven’t been able to match a position to some of the background guys.

So here’s our starting point. I would expect the IDFK guys to be fairly evenly split among the positions (most rosters have about 4 GKs because the position is both crucial and dangerous, f in the chat for O’Brien’s butt).

You’ll notice that a lot of our prominent players are mids. This doesn’t really mean anything. I just think it’s neat. I’ll get into centre mids vs wings in a second, but for the most part those guys (Colin, Sam, Richard, Moe, Roy) are Richmond’s starting line in the midfield.

Now then. Let’s look at an actual formation. We’ll start with the first one I could find, which is 1x07’s formation.

The names being cut off are Canterbury next to Isaac, C. Hughes on left wing next to Rosenfeldt, and S. Obisanya perfectly hidden by Beard’s arm.

When describing a formation, you list it from defense to forward and don’t include the keeper cause they’re a given. Therefore, this formation is known as a 4-5-1. Alternatively, you can read the midfield a little differently to differentiate that Roy’s the lone defensive mid, and call this a 4-1-4-1. There’s nothing too out-there about this formation. Watford FC’s run a variation of it in the Premier League this season (scroll down a bit and hit the line-ups tab). You’ll see a formation like this at all levels, from kids to national teams, though it has fallen out of fashion in recent years.

This just a solid, balanced formation. The point of a formation like this is to control the midfield and cut off the other team’s passing lines, to make it harder for them to move the ball up to their strikers. Four defenders for a solid back line, with two centre backs to lock down the area in front of your box and cover for each other while supporting their fullbacks on the outside. One defensive mid (Roy) and two attacking mids to control the centre and build attacking opportunities, without leaving the defense totally in the lurch on a counterattack.

You’ll notice that Rojas is all by his lonesome as a solo striker. The risk with a formation like this is that the striker gets isolated if people aren’t pushing up on the attack, leaving the forward with nobody to create chances with or nobody to pull the other team’s defense away.

That’s why Sam and Colin are crucial in a formation like this. Those boys are gonna fucking run. In a 4-5-1, the wingers need to be making runs to support their striker, put pressure on the defense, and try to create openings to score. They also need to make sure they’re coming back to help defend, otherwise the other team’s going to walk right up their open wing. Colin and Sam’s game would be 90 minutes of wind sprints. I’ve played a little bit of wing in a formation like this. Your legs are jelly by the end.

Now then, next one. This is from 1x10 vs Man City, and we actually get both teams’ formations this time. (Brendan Hunt I swear to god I need you to give me a board like this every time please I’m begging)

This will look pretty similar to the 4-5-1. This is a 4-2-3-1, and it’s a very popular formation. Here’s Man United running it this season, and if you flip through other games you’ll find a lot more examples.

A 4-2-3-1 runs two defensive mids and one attacking mid, opposite of the 4-5-1. The wingers play a little higher to support the striker, and the attacking mid (Bumbercatch here) is intended to be a bit of a playmaker. The defensive mids reinforce the D. You play this formation when you need a solid defense and expect to get most of your chances on counterattacks. Because you have 3 mids playing a little higher, the transition to offense can be quick if you can get the ball out of your end. One of the weaknesses can be the gap that develops in the midfield, so you need your defensive mids to push up and close this space. I see that as a potential reason why they’ve moved Colin in from the wing.

In terms of the actual roster, Dixon’s off the injured list from 1x07 and in for Goodman, and Winchester’s in for Reynolds. Richard’s on the left wing for Colin, who becomes one of our two defensive mids along with Shannon, and then Moe as attacking mid. Rosenfeldt and of course Roy are sitting (Roy subs in for Shannon at half).

I think they’re running a 4-2-3-1 both as an answer to what they expect from Man City, but also to compensate for sitting Roy. In 1x01, Beard calls Roy a box-to-box midfielder. What he means is that Roy is a solid all-arounder. He’s a force on the attack alongside the strikers, but he also comes back deep to support the D and make things difficult for the other team. He’s a workhorse of a player, so pulling him might require a more defensive shift to compensate.

As an aside, this is the match where Ted asks the linesman to explain the offside rules after a Richmond player gets called offside. It’s specifically Winchester who gets called offside. Look at the formation. My man is a centre back with Isaac. What the cinnamon toast fuck was he doing all the way up there. This is what I mean when I say they’re playing fast and loose with some of the football aspects. For Winchester to be offside, he must be so absurdly out of position that it would make more sense for him to be playing defense for the other team. (I think this is mostly a writing oversight and they should have just used another name in the line but still very funny to me)

I also just want to quickly point out Man City’s formation. They’re running a 4-3-3. Jamie has a few lines where he mentions a manager named “Pep” at Man City. He’s talking about Pep Guardiola, the real-life manager of Man City. The 4-3-3 is a go-to for him. If you catch a Man City game this season, this is most likely what you’re gonna see. This formation is versatile and aggressive (particularly on counterattacks). It’s about holding possession, with the mids moving as a unit to set up series of short passes that open holes in the other team’s defense. If the mids are coordinated, this becomes a very defensively solid formation with lots of attacking power. Don’t think of a 4-3-3 as two wings and a centre mid, because that isn’t what it is at all.

Now then, on to season 2. First, I can’t find any FUCKING WHITEBOARDS. First one I found is in 2x08 (hey again Man City), and even then, it’s a play diagram rather than an actual roster. Anyway, here you go.

Now that we’ve reunited the two aces, we’re switching things up a bit. This looks like another 4-2-3-1 but it’s actually a messily drawn 4-4-2. They run the exact same formation for the False Nine in 2x12 (you get glimpses at halftime) but every screenshot I could get was ass so we’re gonna use this one instead. Colin and Richard have swapped again (Colin’s on the left in every formation this is why I say he’s left-footed), and Jamie’s up front with Dani. We have a pair of centre mids, rather than a trio of attacking/defensive mids like the other formations. I also finally got my confirmation that Jan Maas is a centre back! Couldn’t figure out if he was that or centre mid cause the game scenes are shot cinematographically rather than for any sort of…football comprehension.

This is specifically a flat 4-4-2 (vs the 4-4-2 diamond Roy wants to run with his girls team). It’s a versatile formation that trades a bit of defensive power for a stronger attack (Southampton’s running it this season if you wanna see it in action). Compared to a 4-2-3-1 they ran in 1x10, the 4-4-2 puts more pressure on the centre backs because they don’t have that pair of defensive mids supporting them. Jan and Isaac have to be physical and on it at all times to call out holes and get their teammates to fill the gaps. But you have the advantage of a pair of strikers who can play off each other and work in tandem, with Sam and Colin forcing defenders to come wide to cover them on the wings.

I think this is a spectacularly bad choice against Man City’s 4-3-3. Because the mids in a 4-3-3 work as a unit, Moe and Richard are always going to be outnumbered 3-2 in the middle of the field. Man City will have an easier time controlling the centre and holding possession because a Richmond player will have to come out of position to mark the extra man. Obviously Richmond primarily got their asses kicked for story reasons but uh…yeah I think they got their asses kicked for coaching reasons too.

Okay I’m coming up on 2000 words so I should probably stop now. I didn’t really get into the specifics of individual players. I can try to come up with something coherent for some of them, but there isn’t much to go on even more prominent players like Moe and Richard.

Anyways, I hope this was helpful and not endlessly boring. And please for the love of god let me know if you’re able to snag a clear look at a whiteboard I didn’t catch. I’m dying out here, man.

#ted lasso #afc richmond #roy kent #jamie tartt #sam obisanya #isaac mcadoo #colin hughes #jan maas #richard montlaur #moe bumbercatch #dani rojas #long post #i also really want to put something together about how they could parallel Richmond with Leicester City for some awesome story stuff #so i'll spit out something along those lines #at some point #also i'm not trying to present myself as the highest football authority here #i'm just trying to yell into the void about a show i love #this be the post

[daenqyu]

— doing their eyeliner at 12AM

includes: bakugou, kaminari, kirishima, and hawks

warnings: suggestive (LOTS of making out)

a/n: did i write this just because i love doing my eyeliner and i really want to sit on a guy’s lap while i do his???? maybe. but that’s none of your business 🙄☝️

bakugou katsuki

it’s canon that he wears eyeliner and even if it wasn’t,,, he’d still try it at least ONCE

in this case you had to ask him

well more like beg him 

“babe please, i promise i’ll make a good work!” 

“how? you suck at doing yours”

you scoff before punching his arm, making him let out a hiss as he glares at you

“i don’t you idiot, now can you shut up and stay still for a second?”

of course he ends up giving in bc come on, he’d do anything just to make you happy and if that meant letting you put makeup on him at 12AM because you thought he’d look ‘pretty’ then so be it

bakugou doesn’t voice out any of this though 

instead, he keeps complaining and even tickles your sides from time to time just to get on your nerves

“bakugou,” he frowns when his last name falls from your lips, not liking how it sounded at all. “stop fucking moving or i’ll stap your eye.”

“tch, stop telling me what to do, dumbass.”

but he does stop

after all, he didn’t really want you to get mad at him

he entertains himself by tapping his fingers against your thighs to the beat of the music playing from your speaker 

his touch makes butterflies flutter in your stomach, but you ignore them and continue to draw on his eyelids 

you decide to keep it simple; just a very defined line that’s not too thick, but enough so that it’s visible 

“okay, i’m done”

after you put the eyeliner down and notice bakugou’s eyes were focused on you, you completely forget how to breathe

the black makes his vermilion eyes look even brighter and in contrast with his blonde hair...he simply looks beautiful 

he takes your silence as a bad sign and thinks you probably did fuck up, but when he looks at himself in his phone camera, the makeup looks fine to him so,

why the heck weren’t you saying anything?

“what is it? do you not like it?”

didn’t like it? couldn’t he see you were practically salivating bc of him?

“uh no, you look really good actually,” you look away before continuing, not trusting yourself to look at him while you said the next words. “you look pretty”

bakugou is a little surprised by the compliment, but he wastes no time before teasing you

he leans in, and once he’s close enough, he takes your chin so you’re looking directly at him

a smirk takes over his lips when your eyes avoid his

“what’s got you so shy?” he teases

“i’m not”

“then look at me” 

you didn’t want him to know how big of an effect he had on you, so you turn your head around and face him, even tho you’re flustered beyond belief

his eyes slowly look down at your lips and then back to your eyes, making you a little anxious as to what could happen, but bakugou decides to drags it out

just to have some fun of his own

he places one of his hands on the back of your neck, gently pulling you forward until your noses are almost touching 

the other one caresses your cheek softly, then his fingers slowly trace out your jaw, eyes still stuck on your own 

it’s infuriating really

the way his fingers carefully touch your lips, applying a bit more pressure on his thumb that’s touching your lower lip so he can open your mouth ever so slightly 

the way he acts as if he has all the time in the world, as if he could do this all day

and you know he can

but you don’t 

so you lean in to close the distance with a deep kiss

it’s messy and sloppy; his tongue clashing with your own as his hands roam all over your body to feel you

you end up sitting on his lap, lips still connected and hands all over each other

you pull away, chest heaving as rough breaths leave your mouth and smirk when you notice bakugou is looking at you 

his hair is messy thanks to your gripping and the eyeliner fits him so nicely

for a moment you almost can’t believe he’s your boyfriend 

“have i ever told you how handsome i think you are?” you ask him with a goofy smile on your face, fingers playing with the ends of his hair

“hm, once or twice but you can always remind me again” 

“let me just show you”

he quirks an eyebrow at your implication, licking his lips as his eyes darken

“oh? bold, aren’t we now?”

“learned from the best”

“fuck yeah you did”

to keep it short, you guys didn’t sleep a lot that night 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

kaminari denki

he was DEFINITELY the one that came up with the idea

something just tells me he probably spends 90% of his time scrolling through tiktok 

and if he feels like it, maybe he’ll even posts some of his own

so it’s no surprise that he’s caught up with all the trends and challenges

and even dances (which surprisingly, he’s damn good at)

i’m guessing you guys already know what i’m trying to get at

he had seen way too many tiktoks of couples doing their partner’s eyeliner and he thought it was the coolest thing ever

not only was he curious to see how the makeup would look on him, but he also just wanted an excuse to spend more time with you

he had been thinking about it for a few weeks now, but couldn’t seem to find the perfect moment to ask you

until one night you guys were having a sleepover on your dorm and a video of said trend pops up on his ‘fyp’

you’re cuddling, your head against his chest as his fingers trace random pattern on your back, when he brings it up

“hey babe?”

you hum in response, eyes fluttering open to look up at kaminari

he smiles before pecking your lips, thinking about how beautiful you look all cuddled up next to him

“do you think you could do my eyeliner real quick?”

the question takes you by surprise,

tho you’re used to yout boyfriend being quite spontaneous and random at times, so you don’t really question it

instead, you nod and move out of the bed to get the makeup product, which sits on your vanity

“where should i sit?”

he asks you once you walk over to him, but you simply smile before taking a seat on his lap

you position your legs on either side of his hips so you’re in a straddling position and kaminari almost forgets all about the makeup because of this

but can you really blame him?

you just look so perfect like this

he has to physically stop himself from flipping you over and kissing you all he wants

and you giggle when you notice a pout forming on his face

“what’s wrong?”

“nothing”

“you sure?”

“yeah, just hurry up and do it so i can kiss you”

you laugh, “yes sir”

when you start, he can’t help but giggle at the feeling and you have to hold his face in place so he would stop moving

he gets used to it after a while 

almost even falls asleep from how soft your other hand felt on his cheek

since you know kaminari likes to be a little extra, you attempt to draw a lighting bolt right below one of the lines

it’s not the best, but it looks decent enough so you decide to leave it there

but when you finish, you feel like something is missing; like it could be better

then you have the fantastic idea to use eyeshadow

kaminari feels you getting up from his lap and he whines 

“where are you going?”

“hold on, i’m feeling inspired right now”

“okay?”

he doesn’t understand what you mean at all, but he lets you be

you take a random eyeshadow palette and make sure it has a nice black color on it

then you reposition yourself on his lap

“open your eyes and look up”

he does as he’s told and you proceed to put some more black on his lower lash line and waterline (not too much)

when kaminari doesn’t feel your touch on his face anymore, he looks down at you with a smile, which inevitably makes you smile too

“how do i look?”

you chuckle lowly, examining his eyes once more 

he always looks gorgeous, but the eyeliner just...makes him hit different

and the fact he’s wearing one of his chokers doesn’t make it any better

he looks straight out of alt tiktok

“you, my beautiful boyfriend, look very attractive”

he smirks at your teasing tone, “oh? is that so?”

“i’m afraid it is” 

he doesn’t even bother looking in the mirror because all he could think about was kissing you

and that’s what he does

he holds your face with both of his hands before pulling you in to kiss you

his lips feel hot and so does your whole body when he grips your hips

after a few more kisses, he pulls away and looks at you with excited eyes

“can i do yours now?”

you chuckle at his cuteness before nodding and letting him draw on your face

it’s not perfect, but hey! baby tried his best and that’s all that matters

besides he looks so proud of himself, telling you how cute you look and how lucky he is to call you his

“you look soooo pretty! i mean you always do, of course, but you look even prettier which i didn’t know was humanly possible yet here you are”

he ends up going on a rant about all the things he loves about you and you’re pretty sure you have hearts in your eyes by the time he ends

“i love you”

“i love you too, my pretty girl”

kirishima eijirou:

this man has absolutely tried on eyeliner at least once in his life

has it been good? probably not

but he likes it and thinks it looks very cool

sometimes you do yours and kirishima lives for it

he likes the way it compliments the shape of your eyes and how happy you get when you get the line right from the first try

whenever you’re getting ready and he’s with you, he doesn’t take his eyes off you

a smile spreading across his lips when he sees you bite down on your lower lip in concentration, your fingers skillfully tracing the marker on your eyelids 

and that’s when the idea pops in his head

he ponders on it for a while tho, not sure how to bring it up or if you’d be up to do it

it takes him a few days before he asks you and when he does, he looks all nervous 

you’re both hanging out in his dorm cuddling as you just finished watching a movie

a yawn leaves your lips and you stretch your arms, looking at the time on your phone screen

it reads 12:33 AM 

you hum, moving your head up to look at kirishima from your place on his lap

he looks down at you and offers you a sweet smile before placing a quick kiss on your lips

“i should get going,” he pouts at your words, his hold on your waist tightening so you couldn’t stand up and you giggle, turning around completely so you’re facing him

you wrap your hands around his neck to pull him closer, just until your lips touch

you teasingly smirk at him before kissing his cheek and he frowns

“what? don’t you like my kisses?” you pout at him 

kirishima scoffs at your stupid question and grabs your jaw gently, looking you in the eyes

“stop being a tease”

you roll your eyes, “you’re so impatient”

nevertheless you comply and connect your lips with his, your hands now slightly massaging his nape

he hums against your mouth, prompting you to keep going

before things can go any further tho, you pull away 

he huffs childishly, not liking the way you kept leaving him hanging

“i seriously should get going,” you press one last peck on his lips. “don’t wanna risk getting caught here” 

“then just stay the night”

“baby i already did yesterday”

“uhh your point?”

you chuckle, “good try babe”

you attempt to stand up but once again your boyfriend stops you from doing so

you open your mouth to ask him what’s up 

but he beats you to it

“actually, i wanted to ask you something” he’s looking away from you and that makes you a little nervous, not having a clue about what he wanted to talk about 

you nod, silently telling him to keep going

“could you...do my eyeliner?” a blush creeps onto his neck, his eyes still not meeting yours and you think he looks adorable. before you can answer him, he talks again. “but i mean only if you want to cause’ i know it’s kinda hard so it’s okay if you don’t but i think i’d be really cool and-”

“oh my god eijirou it’s okay!” he finally shuts up and looks at you with big eyes

“it is?”

“hm, i’m more than happy to do it,” he lets out a sigh after hearing your comforting words and you kiss his nose. “besides you’ll look super manly”

if kirishima was already head over heels for you, then now he just wanted to straight up marry you

you got up and started to look around in kirishima’s bathroom drawer since sometimes you left some of your stuff behind just in case

luckily, the eyeliner was there

after you took it, you sat in front of kirishima once again, your legs crossed and you moved closer to him

he kept still and let you get comfortable, looking down at your lips briefly when you got a bit too close

“close your eyes”

and so he did

like i mentioned before, you’re a bit experienced with this since you practice on yourself quite a lot

so it doesn’t take you too much time

the line you drew was a bit thicker than normal but not too much

and instead of doing a straight line, you did it a bit more upwards

“and done!” you say happily while retracting your hand from kirishima’s face

he opens his eyes and offers you a grin

the action is small and meaningless, but it somehow makes you nervous

the makeup really suits him and you can’t help but admire him for a while 

by admiring i mean shamelessly checking him out

of course he notices it

and he teases you about it

“does it look good?”

“yeah,” you answer while looking away, trying to hide how flustered you are. “really good”

he hums before placing his hands on your waist and sitting you down on his lap, making you look at him with a surprised expression on your face

one of his hands stays on your waist while the other travels up to hold your face

you let out a heavy breath at his actions, feeling your heart thumping against your chest

his fingers caress your cheek softly and you lean in to his touch, loving the way he was always so gentle with you

without any warning, kirishima smashes his lips against your own

your eyes widen for a moment, not expecting this at all, but you close them when you feel his tongue touching your lower lip

you open your mouth and let him take the lead, a whimper coming out of you when you feel his hand wrap around your neck, pressing slightly

he pulls away with a smirk, both of your chests heaving from the lack of air

“still wanna leave?”

you sigh while moving your head, yet a smile was evident on your face, “i guess i can stay”

“atta girl”

takami keigo (hawks):

another one who canonically wears eyeliner !!

unlike bakugou (who does his eyeliner to cover up the gap between his mask and eyes), keigo does his solemnly because he thinks it looks good on him

wait, let me rephrase that

he knows it looks good on him

it’s part of his morning routine, he does it every time before going to work

so sometimes while you’re both getting ready for the day, you see him doing it

you open the bathroom door sleepily, barely managing to keep your eyes open

you walk over to the sink next to keigo’s and splash water on your face to wake yourself up

beside you, keigo smiles at your antics

he thinks you look the cutest in the mornings, especially when you’re grumpy

feeling his eyes on your figure, you turn around to face him with a raised brow

“why are you looking at me like that?”

“like what?”

“like i have something on my face”

he laughs at your attitude and walks over to place a kiss on your cheek

his lips feel warm against your cheek and it makes you smile

“good morning to you too” his says teasingly

“morning birdy” your tone matches his and he rolls his eyes playfully before pulling away from you to finish doing his eye makeup

you brush your teeth quickly while thinking about what you were gonna have for breakfast, and whether keigo had time to eat with you or not

once you finish, you place your toothbrush on its place and look over to your right

only to be met with the number two hero doing his eyeliner

in one hand he holds a feather of his against his eyelid, as if to help him do a straight line, and with the other he holds the actual makeup product

he has a concentrated look on his face, his brows slightly furrowed

and you look at him with nothing but adoration in your eyes

he looks so effortlessly beautiful

his golden locks are messy, yet perfectly in place and his wings rest by his side

he has his hero costume on, except for his coat

meaning his muscular arms are in full display for you to see

you don’t realize you’re staring until keigo finally finishes the second eye, and puts down the eyeliner

he smirks at you through the mirror and you look away, embarrassment clear on your face 

“come on, i made us breakfast”

instead of teasing you, like you thought he would, he simply grabs your hand and leads you to the dining table

your heart swells for the man and you look at the two plates in awe, “you did this?”

“is it so hard to believe?”

you roll your eyes before turning around and kissing him, a soft “thank you” leaving your lips as you pull away

that morning you can’t help but keep stealing glances at your boyfriend’s flawless eyeliner

and later that night, when you’re both cuddled up in each other’s arms  watching a movie, you get the sudden brilliant idea

“hey babe, can i do your eyeliner?”

keigo doesn’t even question you, he just nods before pressing a kiss to your neck and you giggle happily

you stand up to get the eyeliner from your shared bathroom and once you return, you take a seat right in front of him

“do you even know what you’re doing?” 

“shut up, i do my makeup too, you know?”

keigo laughs, “i’m just teasing baby”

“you’re mean”

he leans in towards you, pulling you closer by your hips until his lips hover over yours

unconsciously, your eyes look down at his lips, wondering whether he was gonna kiss you or not

but being the little shit he is, keigo doesn’t 

“you should hurry up,” his lips are still inches away from yours, but he doesn’t plan on closing the gap any time soon. “i wanna finish the movie”

this fucker

you clear your throat and move away from him, enough so that you can actually do the makeup, but his hands stay on your hips

you try your best to do it the exact same way he does it

a sharp, straight line that covers part of his outer v and also a small portion of his inner corner

giving his eyes a cat like shaped form

to add your own touch, you draw two small hearts on both sides of his cheekbones 

“m’kay, you can open your eyes now”

and when he does, your breath literally hitches in your throat

of course it’s not the first time you’ve seen him wearing eyeliner

but your faces are still close and his amber eyes are stuck on yours and you just feel like you’re about to explode

your reaction doesn’t go unnoticed by keigo and he smirks 

“i take it you like how it looks?” his tone is flirty and it makes you snap from your trance

you smile at him, softly tracing the two hearts with your fingers, “hm, you look lovely”

“oh really?”

“yeah”

“not as lovely as you, i bet”

and before you can even disagree with him, he presses his lips against yours

you let out a soft moan when he moves you so you’re sitting on his lap and his tongue explores your mouth ever so passionately

keigo takes his sweet time kissing you, taking in every little sound you make and the way your hips slowly move against his thigh

when you pull away, your lips are swollen and you have some spit coating them

which is enough to make keigo go crazy, but before actually doing something, he takes the eyeliner on his hand

you furrow your eyebrows at his action

“what are you doing?”

“well it’s my turn now”

“why do you oh so suddenly want to do my eyeliner?”

he smiles, leaning down to whisper in your ear, “because i wanna see how it’ll look when i make you cry it off”

your eyes widen at his words, but you make no attempt to stop him

keigo kept his promise and he indeed made you cry all of your eyeliner off 😁👍🏼

#bnha imagines #bnha headcanons #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha x reader #bnha oneshots #bnha fluff #bakugou x reader #kaminari x reader #kirishima x reader #hawks x reader #mha imagines #mha oneshots #mha fluff #bnha smut #mha headcanons #bnha x reader #bakugou katsuki #kaminari denki #kirishima eijirou #takami keigo #bnha hawks #bnha #mha

[sugar-petals]

can you give us more thoughts about domestic yoongles? the taemin's one (wich I love) just made me miss the cat boy so much ;o;

i have a phd in househusband yoongi so let me fire out some ideas for ya.

myg at home headcanon

🐱 word count. 1.9k | fluff, slice of life, slight nsfw mentions, x reader, bullet points

The doorbell sound is a recording of Yoongi imitating a doorbell. He’s such a meme. Ceci n'est pas une pipe.

Seemingly, he teaches himself a new recipe every week. To perfection. Yoongi is very particular about sticking to the recipe and wielding his kitchen tools in the right way. He collects knives, olive oil, and still hates cutting onions.

He separates sleep time, work time, and couple time as the holy trinity. For each, he switches his mood.

Blushes easily no matter for how long you’ve been together.

Establishes his own radio show where he DJs at one point.

Yoongi keeps an extreme track on the garbage schedule. He knows exactly what is due when. Separating the trash is a must. That includes sorting out fake friends trying to get between your relationship. Your social circle as a couple is extremely deliberate.

Yoongi deems himself a terrible host for guests. Unless Hoseok is there to drag him out, it's true he rather stays in the kitchen or at the barbecue preparing the menu courses rather than making small talk. He leaves the hospitality bits to you, however you want to go about it.

What he lacks in conversing with guests, he makes up in bed, God is absolutely fair.

He sings and hums pretty often and has his own vernacular of extraterrestrial uwu noises. It's an alphabet that you have to yet decipher but it's incredibly cute.

Self-made paintings everywhere around his house. 

Yoongi hasn't gone clubbing since grammar school. The most he does is going to a restaurant at lunch with very close friends. And always in a work context. His private life is so secluded from everything else and paparazzi just don't spot him anywhere, Dispatch thinks he must live abroad.

Very well, he does consider his big ole house a separate country. It's a living organism with a studio, gym, trophy room, small-size basketball court, and vastly equipped kitchen. A home theater as well, he likes American movies (like Inception) and Korean action genres, and you can stream whatever you fancy in there whenever you like. 

Yes, he has underwear with cute little bears on.

There's even a little pond in the backyard. Yoongi, Pisces he is, likes fishes after all. Sometimes he sits at the edge of the 'Little Ole Min Lake (LOML)' and stares into the water for literal hours with his chin parked on his palm.

His fridge is so high-tech and futuristic, even Yoongi is rendered clueless by its AI sometimes. The washing machine, too.

Yoongi watches RuPaul’s drag race. What did you expect? He finds it so humorous.

Owns lord knows how many comic collections.

Favorite holiday destination: New York.

Christmas is basically 50% you unveiling new music equipment to him in the garage and Yoongi almost fainting at the sexiness of it. The other 50% is spent holding hands and orgasm after orgasm until the new year since you loose track of time.

Goes on long rants why he’d marry you again every weekend.

Making you presents is his specialty. Always accompanied with a hand-written note. He writes a lot of things by hand for you in general. Texting, basically never. Always on paper.

No sex without a blanket and socks on. Yoongi gets cold very very easily and just doesn’t like showing skin. You buy him a heated blanket for his birthday, he even uses it in his studio chair.

Chronically addicted to making out.

Matching black outfits and glasses.

Laughs at even your worst jokes or phrases you didn’t expect you even uttered.

Yoongi owns the phoniest, most secretive-looking black car ever and nobody knows about it. Even he forgets he owns it, in fact he genuinely acts like it just doesn’t exist. Hilarious. And that guy has a level 1 Korean driver's license. Which allows him to drive trailers and busses and fucking trucks, and construction machines, let that sink in.

It's really a genius curse. Yoongi being put to the test will always deliver but he won't choose to execute his full skillset if he doesn't have to. Well, pragmatic. He's not as phony as he thinks he is, which is even more hilarious.

He uses that behemoth of a car so scarcely because he'd rather have things delivered to his doorstep and he's stingy with gas. Also, he doesn't like traffic and driving because of the traumatic shoulder accident and his tendency to space out. Translation: You drive that thing... that monster... it really is an impressive, fast, and scary machine. 

If someone devious ever even remotely manages to invade his privacy and get past the doubly-installed security system, he has enough money to deal with it no matter what.

If it concerns your privacy, he's a red belt. And owns Jin's number if a taekwondo master is required. Jimin's if it needs someone with kendo skills.

If Yoongi needs someone to go on a complete rampage, Jungkook lives just down the block. He can sprint to Yoongi's bunker I mean mansion within 45 seconds. 30 if it's very urgent. 20 if the reward is an instant ramen splurge with Yoongi's black card.

He has a sexy, glamorous sword collection hanging on the living room wall anyways, so. Who the hell is dumb enough to mess with him and his expensive lawyer in the first place.

But just in case, who knows... Yoongi settles matters shruggingly, anonymously, and with cash and he's too exhausted for violence, but don't underestimate his deter-min-ation and network for emergencies. Also, he is Agust D after all.

He will bonk a naughty burglar or kidnapper across the head with a wooden cooking spoon or take him down by throwing a basketball if the situation requires it. Damn, his reflexes are so fast, a feral cat in motion. So, lean back and sip on your drink of choice. Things are cared for.

If Yoongi is the one being kidnapped or a highly skilled stalker invades the property at night when he's fast asleep (nothing can wake this man during certain hours, strong REM right here): Don't forget that honeyboy is a Dodgers fan. There are signed baseball bats everywhere in this damn house.

In that sense, your parents visiting you here for the first time thought you were an undercover thug couple. Not to worry mom and dad, you both just like sports very much okay.

Yoongi walks around in all black clothes and the rooms are all seemingly dark. Even if you live together, you don't know his skin care routine. It's clear to you he's some sort of vampire.

Since Yoongi always forgets to remove his makeup, you made it a habit to wipe it down when he's about to pass out. He won't lie, he enjoys that kind of affection.

Holly is your resident child. You're essentially a family.

He insists to tackle this by himself, Yoongi sees his therapist monthly. Not shifting responsibility is something he's stubborn about and he pours his emotions into writing. You will do conversation about deeper stuff, but he says it's mostly up to him and his own mind. He dislikes burdening you or opening up too much and it's something to respect rather than force him about. If he wants to share a thought, he will. It doesn’t mean he can’t trust you or sucks at communicating (we know that he’s direct). Yoongi simply can’t put that much pain in such few words nor should you alleviate it for him.

Calls from the manager faze Yoongi as much as Jimin is bothered by gravity. If he’s busy kissing your body slow mo, who the hell dares to disturb his worship. 

This man had so many let-downs and interpersonal catastrophes in his life, he's super discerning with people. Because he rolls that way, during their first meeting Yoongi uses his psychology certificate on your friends. You see him squint at them, he listens very closely. After they pass the vibe check aka meow radar, he befriends them, too.

Yoongi doodles Grammy trophies everywhere to manifest them.

Yoongi shaves his legs.

All the sex toys he’s ever bought are black. Gotta vibe in style.

He spends ridiculous amounts of time in the studio but he's yours for the remainder of the night, breakfast, and he makes a lavish lunch and dinner.

Um, consider his head parked between your legs. The Hongkong line was not a joke.

Doesn’t mind you squishing his cheeks whenever and for how long you like. 

Every other weekend he gets flowers, vouchers, and gifts — not because of fans, they don’t know where his house is, but because he donates so much.

Namjoon often drops by and cleanses the area with his crystals.

Yoongi is a photography major so you can ask him to take professional, ceiling-high black and white shots of you.

Feeding each other food lovingly. Man, this guy got lips.

He set up a library just for you, in the exact historical aesthetic you like the most. Send him the link to any book you want, it's basically in the online shopping cart already. As I said, he wants to make you presents like every week.

Sometimes he sits on the other end studying English videos and vocab while you read. And yes, he's already 95% fluent but pretends being merely intermediate. He knows technical terms even native speakers have never heard of.

He collects pajamas and earrings.

Swears on the phone.

Namjoon being the horniest member is a cover-up story. Yoongi masturbates almost unreasonable amounts of times, by himself and in your arms when going to bed. Not gonna lie, it’s a sight to see his hands at work. He’s almost equally obsessed with fingering you once you ask him.

Yoongi was the one asking you to move in and almost had a nervous meltdown before meeting up with you to tell you just that. 

He’s the little spoon and of course a sleeping burrito to hold tight.

Finds you equally attractive in any state or styling. Yoongi practices what he preaches, he always reacts the same and says the same. 

Jams out to outrageous beats Namjoon sends him by dancing in the studio. You walk in on him every time. Was embarrassed at first, now you dance along.

Has bought you a life-sized Yoongi pillow and customized you a giant Shooky to hug when he’s not at home over night.

Owned a wine cellar until he quit drinking. Turned it into a piano room instead.

Only you know Yoongi has a serpent and dagger tattoo.

Scrubs the bathroom religiously.

The house smells like restaurant food and his extravagant perfumes half of the time.

Sometimes he has to remind himself he’s married to you and not his coffee machine. He shall be forgiven. You can’t complain that he doesn’t love you enough, nor is he ever not adorable when drinking his latte.

Never wears short sleeves. It can be scorching and he’ll wear a jacket. 

Tell him and the cap stays on during sex.

He grows his hair out and puts it in a low bun. The bangs remain.

Yoongi has installed the most fire-proof building in the entire city it seems. That he wanted to be a firefighter when he was young definitely shows. Figures the house has to be protected from heat: His blasting studio music and Yoongi himself are just way too sizzling.

Still melts into a puddle when you kiss his nose.

Couple sunrise watching. 

© submissive-bangtan 2017-2021. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate. all depictions fictional.

#yoongi #yoongi hc #yoongi x reader #bts #bts x reader #bts hc #yoongi scenario

[incomprehensiblelentils]

Bering and Wells Reunion Panel Transcription (4/17/2021)

This is from the ClexaCon Virtual panel with Joanne Kelly and Jaime Murray, with Dana Piccoli as moderator and Mark as ASL interpreter. I spent around six hours on this and there were really only a couple of brief bits I couldn’t make out - I tried to make this as thorough as possible even though the audio quality was iffy at points and there was a lot of overlapping talking. I also included all of the ums and uhs in the interest of thoroughness so sorry if that gets annoying. Let me know if I’ve gotten any screen names wrong.

Content notes: brief discussion of on-set injury, allusions to homophobia from higher-ups, discussions of hostile workplace experiences due to gender, brief discussion of the ovarian cancer subplot, Jo misgenders Mark once and then corrects herself.

Dana: And I think we are live! Hey everyone, welcome, welcome, this is day 2 of ClexaCon Virtual. So glad to be here with you for our Warehouse 13 Bering and Wells panel. What a great video! I believe that was Mal that made that. Fantastic work! [They showed a fanvid prior to the panel on the stream.] Uh, I want to take a second to introduce Mark, our ASL interpreter. Thank you so much for being here, Mark. Well, I know that the Bering and Wells fandom is still going strong and, um, I’m so excited to be able to present this panel to you today, so without further ado, let’s get started. It’s been seven years since we last embarked on the wonderfully quirky world of Warehouse 13 and we’re thrilled to have not one, but two of the show’s stars here with us, Bering and Wells in the flesh, please welcome Joanne and Jaime!

Jo: [laughs] Hi!

Jaime: Hi guys!

Dana: Hi!

Jaime: Oh my goodness, I was tearing up watching that, that was just...

Dana: It’s so good, right?

Jaime: And Mal made it, of course, I mean just, the fandom is so amazing, that we have a fan who made that amazing movie, and I’m sitting here... were you tearing up, Jo?

Jo: Yeah... [laughs]

Dana: She’s like, I can’t talk right now!

Jaime: Aww.

Jo: Yeah, it’s, you know, it’s like, it’s like a, a wormhole, it’s like going in a wormhole, really, to see that put together in that way, and just, that somebody did that is, um, crazy, wonderful.

Jaime: Yeah.

Dana: When, when we are in person in, uh, in, in Las Vegas, I’m often backstage with the actors as they see these videos maybe f- for the first time, and your reaction is the reaction that everyone has. They all get teary, they all just like hold onto each other, it’s, it’s really sweet and wonderful.

Jaime: Oh my gosh, I, I wish I could go back in time and like, we film more of it and, and enjoy it more, because sometimes when you’re in it, you’re just going so fast and, you know, you don't even realize the meaning of, of, of what you’ve created until you see it through the eyes of the fans and what it meant to them, and then I, I wish I could lean into it more. [laughs]

Dana: Well, we’re certainly gonna get into that. [laughs]

Jaime: [laughs]

Dana: Alright, well, let’s kick things off! Uh, as of a we- a week ago, I was prepping to interview Jaime, and then suddenly the heavens opened up, and what was one became two. [they laugh] Joanne joined the party! How did this crazy kismet even happen?

Jo: I’m trying this new thing where I say yes. [laughs]

Jaime: [laughs] Well done!

Jo: Thanks. [laughs] Um, it’s a new thing I’m trying. Um, Jaime texted me and she’s like, I'm doing this thing, we had talked about it, I think the last panel we did at Dragon*Con maybe?

Jaime: Yeah.

Dana: 2018.

Jo: And she had told me about ClexaCon and I was like, that, because I really enjoyed that panel that we did, it felt, you know, I think one of the reasons, and I think that the work between us is, and I look at it now and I’m so touched because I, and I also just think the world of Jaime as an actor, I think she’s brilliant and her choices are so clean and-

Jaime: Ditto.

Jo: -full heart forward, like I, I’ve always been a fan of what she bought, and just personally on set I was in a, it was a very male environment, and Jaime came and I was like, oh my god, like, someone to talk to, someone who cared, and she took care of me, like she really - so I just, I don’t know, when she reached out I was like, of course, yes, yes.

Dana: Like it’s in two days, sure! Let’s, let’s go!

Jaime: We missed each other as well. It was also an opportunity to hang out, like, we missed each other!

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: We had this flurry of texts of like, checking in with each other, and what-

Jo: What have you been watching? what are you doing?

Jaime: Yeah.

Jo: Where are you?

Jaime: Yeah, so.

Dana: Oh, that’s amazing! So you’ve maintained this really wonderful friendship since, since the end of the show.

Jo: Yeah, I mean, actors are nomads and we’re very sort of, I feel, Jaime, I don’t know if you feel the same way, but it’s like those friends that you have that you don’t see forever, but when you see them you fall back into a rhythm automatically, there’s never, it doesn’t feel push or pulled, it’s just, it’s just nice.

Jaime: I, I think also for us, um, I think there’s a sisterhood as well, you know, I think that, you know, Jo just touched on it. You know, often in a cast there’s, um, it’s changing and it’s evolving all the time, and this was seven years ago, and it was seven years before that, it started, so like fourteen years ago-

Jo: Oh my god. [laughs]

Jaime: But there’s, ninety nine point five percent of the people behind the camera are men, the majority of the parts are often men, or it’s, it’s male and women, but the men have the more heroic bits and the funnier lines and you’re kind of struggling with that and you’re glad to be working so you’re kind of making good and making it okay, but you’re kind of like, you know, getting feels, and, you know, as, as Joanne said, it, you know, you’re laughing at dick jokes when you don’t find them particularly funny- [all laugh]

Jo: Like wow! Oh! [sarcastic thumbs up]

Jaime: And so when I came in, I saw Jo - I had been on shows, like I was on a show called Hustle, I was the only girl in the cast, and then everybody, uh, behind the camera was, um, all men. Um, on Warehouse we had one female writer on some episodes, um, we never had a fe- uh, um, a female director on anything or a producer-

Jo: No we had, we had Tawn- [presumably about to mention Tawnia McKiernan] we had two fem- we had a few, but we were-

Jaime: No- no- not on my, not on my episodes.

Jo: Oh, on yours.

Jaime: But it was just like, I came in and I saw Jo and I understood, and I knew what her experience was, and so there was this kind of kinhood, this sisterhood, and I think it, it’s not a male-female thing, but it’s, it’s a minority and majority thing. When you’re in a minority and the majority is doing something, you either have to get down with the program and go with that flow, or you get kind of fe- you feel like you’re difficult or annoying to everybody. And I kind of came in and I just was like, oh like, I get it, it’s hard, and I’m gonna give this woman, like, my, my energy and my love and, so it was-

Dana: So you were like I- you looked at Joanne and you were like, that is someone I can smash the patriarchy with!

Jaime: [laughs] Yes.

Dana: Let’s do it!

Jo: No, I read a lot of books [laughs] when we weren’t filming. I would like get on my chair and just be like this. [mimes holding book in front of face]

Jaime: Yes!

Jo: [laughs] Like I’m doing this now, I’ll see you guys when we’re rolling again, you know, it was really- and, but also, you know, it’s so, and it is changing, it’s changing and evolving in a really, um, at a wonderful rate, but also I would get so excited to be in a scene with another woman that wasn’t about a man, you know, or that we weren’t- uh, it was just so nice to have girl-girl scenes. That never happens, it hardly ever happens. Like, the majority of scenes that you do are about love or acrimony with men, um, and it’s so nice to have a relationship with a woman that’s, um, sort of reflective of how relationships with women actually are. Um, I’ve been, I shifted into writing because of frustration with just not reading stories that I felt were reflective of our, my experience as a woman, you know, that sort of, um, and I think that Bering and Wells sort of in, I mean, that’s when that ship turned for me, as well.

Dana: Well ho- hold that thought, we are, we are going there!

Jaime: And, and also because it wasn’t, it actually wasn’t written. Um, there was, in a way we were able to steer that ship, and then we’d already kind of given a road map for the way this energy was, so it wasn’t written in the conventional way. Like, even like, when a, when a, when a, when a woman will have a love interest it’s, it’s often written by men and it’s o- often in a conventional kind of way, whereas our relationship, at a time before people were even kind of, uh, exploring this that much, um, now, now much more, thank god, it’s more, more inclusive. But it was more kind of, um, uh, complicated than, than maybe would’ve been written about, so it was given more nuance, yeah.

Jo: You mean like, do you mean like actual relationships? [laughs]

Jaime: You what? Say that again?

Jo: Like actual relationships! [laughs]

Jaime: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [laughs]

Jo: You know, that don’t come in and you have a “where they start and where they finish,” like that we, oh, we know where they’re gonna end up so we’ll just gonna-

Dana: Right, right.

Jo: -move them around like chess pieces. It was actually an energy that Jaime and I created, and the story sort of evolved from that energy as - it was inside out as opposed to outside in, which I think made it a real relationship.

Dana: Well, so my friend Dorthy Snarker, she once said that HG and Myka’s storyline has been main text pretending to be subtext, which feels really apt to me.

Jaime: Yeah!

Dana: So at what point-

Jo: Very smart.

Dana: What point in the show did it really click with the two of you that this connection that HG and Myka shared was something much deeper?

Jo: Jaime just had, Jaime, you just explained this very coolly in, in, um-

Jaime: One of our chats.

Jo: Yeah, yeah. Why don’t you speak to this, why don’t you take this?

Jaime: Well, well, first of all like I said, there was like kind of this sisterhood when I came in and, um, Jo, uh, Jo wasn’t like, like it wasn’t like I came in and she was like hey let’s be friends. I came in and she was behind a book, and she wasn’t particularly accessible, and she wasn’t, like, she was a bit grumpy, you know. And so I was like, my personality type is like, how do I crack this nut? [laughs] How do I make this woman love me? [laughs] This is the most unaccessible woman-

Dana: That explai- Jaime that explains a lot! [laughs]

Jaime: This is the most unaccessible women on the set, the mo- the most unaccessible human to me. How do I make her fall in love with me? So it’s like partly my narcissism-

Jo: [laughs] Jaime Murray in a nutshell, everyone!

Jaime: -and my ego, um, so I was kind of winning her over off set, and then, you know, as she was opening up to me and, you know, she was kind of telling me about some of the challenges she was coming up against, I was like, yeah, that’s, that’s not fair, and yeah, I completely get that, you know. So we were kind of like having that kind of journey, I’m like, like, I’m like, oh no, you’re not crazy, everyone else is crazy! Like, let’s smash the patriarchy!

Jo: [laughs]

Jaime: And then, and then unfortunately, um, Jo hurt herself really badly doing a stunt, and, um, you know, there’s no time to hurt yourself on a film set, and there’s no time to take time and, and kind of heal your back or anything like that. So she was taking some pretty strong painkillers and she was working through it, and I had spinal surgery, I, I know what back pain is like, it’s, it’s the worst. I mean, it’s literally everything, you know, you feel like an old person. And so I was, um, taking care of her as best as I could, and we had the scene, and it was the scene in the street where, I, I think it's the first scene that, where I get the grappler out-

Dana: Oh, the grappler.

Jaime: And I shoot it into the air and I put my arm around her and we shoot up-

Dana: We’re very familiar with this scene. [laughs]

Jo: [doing grappler motion] [laughs]

Jaime: Yeah, so, so it’s like, it had like, physicality, and also it was a really, um, we always laugh that Toronto has about five seasons in one day, so you’ll like start shooting the scene and then suddenly there’s a, like a snowstorm! Bright sunshine!

Jo: Then it’s sunny! Then rain!

Jaime: Torrential rain, wind - and it was one of those, and we had to move to a new location, we were really behind in the day, and she had this one pice of hair that kept on like blowing in her face-

Dana: Oh, I know where this is going, Jaime. [laughs]

Jaime: And she was, the thing was, she was like, also these painkillers-

Jo: I was like, I can’t even see with the hair, I was like, I was hopped up on so many painkillers...

Jaime: Yeah, she was hopped up, she was like, I can’t even get my hair out of the way!

Jo: I think I actually called that day, it was the only time where I was like, guys I can’t work anymore, like, I literally, the doctor was like, you need to rest and I’m like I can’t. And the first AD came over to me and he was like, you’re gonna have to say stop, because nobody is gonna stop the filming, and I didn't wanna do that because you don't want to be the person that, that loses the day.

Jaime: That’s part of it, isn’t it? You’re, you can’t be, you can’t have any vulnerability or be a woman in any way, any shape or form on a film set. [laughs]

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: So I knew in the morning, and so I’d been like trying to take care of her and had, had like this experience of having spinal surgery, so I was like caretaking as much, as best as I could. I’m a Cancerian as well, so it’s in my nature.

Dana: Sure.

Jaime: And, um, and we‘re in this scene and we’d had to kind of cut so many times, and this hair just kind of-

Jo: [laughs]

Jaime: -came over her face like this, and I just lent forward and on my line I just moved the hair out of her, um, face and put it back, and there was this, this look of genuine-

Jo: [laughs]

Jaime: -surprise and shock in her face because we hadn’t rehearsed it and, and, and you know, we rehearse everything, and then, and then Joanne, what did you say that you-

Jo: I said I had this feeling, you know, when she did that I was like, oooh, um, what’s happening? [laughs]

Dana: [laughs]

Jaime: What are these feelings I’m having?

Jo: I did not expect all these feelings.

Jaime: Someone is being nice to me in this hostile world!

Jo: I was like this is so, it was like, pink light came up and there was glitter all of a sudden, and a unicorn in the back and, um-

Dana: Yep.

Jaime: They were really good drugs, you can’t, they’re illegal now, you can’t get them now cause they’re illegal now, but-

Jo: [laughs] No, no! But that point I’d say that the storyline really developed from inside out, you know outside, it was actually something, she did something that made me respond in a certain way, and as an actor you have those openings and you can choose to go, you either close them, like if, if I don’t like an actor [laughs] and someone does something, I might go like, no, I don’t wanna gonna go with that- [laughs]

Jaime: Yeah.

Jo: -and change the track, but because I love Jaime and, and that happened, I sort of just was like I’m gonna go with this energy and see where it leads. And so it was a very organic, and it took me completely, and I had not expected it, it took me completely- but I liked it, so I started, then that...

Dana: So you are the reason, you two are the captains of the Bering and Wells ship. You made that happen!

Jaime: Yeah.

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: But also I felt like HG, you know, she came from an era when the suffragette movement was, um, happening, and she was active in that, however, she had to write under her brother’s name, um-

Dana: Yeah.

Jaime: And as a woman, you know, she couldn’t be even open about her brilliance and she had to let her dimwitted brother take credit for it, and then she was frozen. So she was an activist before her time and suddenly she’s waking up in a world where there’s this dynamic woman, gun-toating woman kind of using her wits and brainpower and like, god bless Pete [laughs] but he was a little bit, like, she was the brains and the brilliance, and often he would be kind of like, you know, taking the credit for it or like having the girls flirt with him, and I just felt like if I grow up, if I woke up from, you know, a dream of, of being a suffragette and I woke up and I saw Myka, surely I would be more fascinated-

Jo: [laughs]

Jaime: -by this woman who is everything that I had ever wished to be, so I started playing off this fascina- I was fascinated by her. Pete was just as stupid as my brother. [laughs]

Jo: And I do have to say, I do have to give the showrunner Jack Kenny credit here too, because Jack really let us run with it and started to lean into it, and the writers were all very accepting, so it was, and, and Jack particularly, you know, we had a lot, we had our creative differences, but he was really generous in this storyline with us, like I think, he gave us a lot of rope to play with-

Jaime: Yeah.

Jo: And it was interesting rope, because they never-

Dana: It was attached to a grappling hook is what it was!

Jo: Yeah, and they never, like what i really loved about it is the never like put it on the nose it was always very elliptical, we always had room to breathe, um-

Jaime: Well partly I don’t, I think that it was, it was, it’s funny to talk about it now because it doesn't seem that long a- long ago, but it-

Jo: But it was so long ago...

Jaime: -it was unusual-

Jo: For that.

Jaime: -for the genre and for the audience that we were going for to, to actually go there, um,

Dana: Yeah. Seven years ago, you’re absolutely right. Things have changed tremendously, and especially in the last five years.

Jo: Yeah, yeah.

Jaime: And, but I think that Jack and Drew, they were kind of excited about what we were doing, but actually, you know, we weren't sure what the network would say or what the advertisers might think, and so, um, you know, I’m really proud of the work that we were able to, to say-

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: You know, being the first in some ways.

Jo: It’s interesting, you know, like Jaime texted me, she sent me this video and I was looking at it and I was just so proud-

Jaime: I sent you Mal’s video, I sent you one of Mal’s other videos.

Jo: She’s wonderful, so like shoutout to her!

Jaime: Yeah

Jo: That’s, yeah, it was gorgeous, and I was really proud of the work, you know, after, it’s, you create these things in a bubble and, I haven’t se- I haven’t seen Warehouse, I never watched it. [laughs] so I’m always very surprised to see these videos, it feels like I’m cracking open-

Jaime: And I want to say as well, you know, when we say we haven’t down and watched all the shows, or you know, in some peoples’ cases, many of the shows, you know, it’s, it’s not because we don’t love the show and we don't love the work that everyone else has done, done, it’s actually a lot of actors don't watch, um, their own work. It’s, if, if you’ve ever heard your own voice on an answer phone or something and you're like, who’s that? Oh my god, that’s me!

Dana: [laughs]

Jaime: Like, so when you see yourself on TV or screen it’s like that on crack, it’s absolutely terrifying, and, and you’re like oh my god, like behind a pillow, like-

Jo: Filled with self loathing and despair. [laughs]

Jaime: Yes.

Dana: That’s okay.

Jaime: Which is a work in progress, I’m trying to deal with that now.

Dana: Well, when, at what point did you realize that queer people were actually starting to flock to the show to support this direction with these characters?

Jaime: We, we didn't know, we didn’t know-

Dana: No?

Jaime: Well, we, um, I, um, Jo’s not on social media so I don’t know when she knew, other than maybe when I told her. I saw replies on twitter-

Jo: Comic Con.

Dana: Somebody didn’t like hire a plane and like, around the area with like, a Bering and Wells forever…?

Jo: I, I remember, I remember going to Comic Con, for me because that’s’ when I had the fan interaction, um, because I wasn’t on Twitter-

Jaime: Yeah, there were fans that told us.

Jo: And, and, uh, a lot of the women, I remember being asked some very specific questions during panels, and, you know, there's a lot of guys who like to talk at those panel so I didn’t get to talk a lot but I made it quite, I, I made it quite clear about how important that storyline was to me and it, it, I realized very quickly that it was important to a lot more women than me. I didn’t really realize, too, that storytelling wasn’t represented in that way, at that point, you know. I didn’t feel that. I didn’t feel like that was a groundbreaking choice, to choose to be attracted to a woman in a scene to me is life, it’s how I live my life, I, I’m you know, I don’t have those, I’m not in a box [laughs] and it so when I realized, it was a eye-opening moment. I’m like, I’m like, wait, wait, this is, this is something new that’s not being done?

Dana: You guys were kind of on, you were like right here [miming going up a hill or mountain] and then shortly after Warehouse, it started going like [woosh noise of going down the other side of the hill] and this wave of representation started happening.

Jaime: Well, ev- even in Warehouse, there was an openly gay character in, in Warehouse.

Dana: Right, yes!

Jo: Yeah, yeah, there was Aaron.

Jaime: But it’s been, it’s been incredibly, um, powerful for, for, for, for me, um, you know, I I, think that a lot of people, some people are like oh my god, you know, I wish I could go back to my childhood or my teenage years, I, you could not pay me anything for, I would not go back to my teenage years for love or money. It was, it was a incredibly painful time for me, um, and not a particularly happy time for me, and, um, you know, just awkwardness, you know, all the stuff that, you know, all the stuff people feel in their teens, all the bad stuff I felt in my teens, so when I’ve spoken to people at conventions, um, and they've’ spoken to me about, um, Warehouse having, and our relationship in Warehouse having a positive effect for them in their teen, in their painful teenage years, it’s, it, it, it can bring me to tears, because i- if I could have imagined having kind of that, some kind of impact when I’d been a teenager maybe I wouldn't have been so miserable, but, um, I’m really humbled by it. it’s really lovely.

Dana: Yeah, you, you most certainly have had a tremendous impact on a lot of peoples’ lives and I’m so glad that you are able to take that and keep it in your heart.

Jaime: Yeah.

Dana: Speaking of this kind of sea change of the last few years, do you think that if Warehouse had been airing now that things might have ended differently? Do you think that maybe that subtext really would have been pulled much more into main text?

Jaime: You’d know better, Jo.

Jo: I...don’t know the answer to that question, um, perhaps, actually, absolutely! It’s twenty twenty-

Jaime: If we were writing it, maybe.

Jo: I mean, that’s what I’m trying to do. [laughs] Um, yeah, I think so. Maybe we would have been able to lean more into that storyline, um-

Jaime: Maybe we would’ve had a, be a stronger voice in shaping the narrative there.

Jo: It, yeah, I mean, Jack was, Jack was great about it, but it, it was a different, it was a different era. I think now is, is really a beautiful time for storytelling in the sense that it is really becoming so much more inclusive and we have representation, which, I mean, seeing ourselves represented in stories is how we understand ourselves in the world, and that’s, it’s so important, you know, it’s so important where we’re going, um, and I wish there could have been more of that in Warehouse, but I’m glad there was what there was.

Dana: Yeah.

Jaime: I, I, I also think that, um, you know, it’s changed so much in just such a short space of time, but particularly in the last couple of years, like, women were always, um, portrayed like, like, women always had to be perfect and kind of cute, and, you know, there had to be kind of something attractive or charming about them at all times, you know, and so we always had to put a bow on a woman to make her acceptable. And one of the things that I’m really loving is, you know, that women can be flawed and they can still, you can still love them and, you know, one of the things that always stun- stunned me is that I’ve been so welcomed into a community of kind, inclusive, um, you know, powerful activist, um, women, uh, um, and I’m like, why do these amazing women even like my characters when I’ve played such, um, a bad character, and it’s like-

Dana: But, but we love that! Queer women love a villain!

Jaime: Well, it’s like, flawed characters, and it’s like, and then recently I watched this show called, um, I hate Suzie Pickles [actual title of show: I Hate Suzie], um, there’s a show called, um, uh, I May Destroy You. They’re British shows, actually, both are.

Dana: Oh, yeah, it’s so good.

Jaime: And they, these are complex, um, women who make bad choices, and they self sabotage and they do things that are kind of frowned upon in society, and yet I love them, these women, and it’s like, if I can love these women for all their flaws, then maybe I'm okay too. And I think that we, we have to allow women to be flawed and lovable instead of just being cute little heroines that kind of support men at all times. I mean, it’s changed so much, that’s kind of, like the old, the old order of what it used to be, like, but yeah, it’s exciting.

Dana: That happe- That was what was written in my yearbook! Just, Dana Piccoli, flawed but lovable.

Jaime: Ah! [laughs]

Dana: So I totally, I totally can appreciate that.

Jaime: Was it that? Was it- that would be the best!

Dana: [laughs] I love that.

Jaime: Flawed and lovable, not but.

Dana: Oh yeah, yes, flawed and lovable, sorry, sorry. That’s, that’s what, that’s where I went wrong in the yearbook.

Jaime: Exactly.

Dana: Uh, J- Jaime. A lot has been made of this, the apples scene.

Jaime: Yes.

Dana: Do you think I smell apples is basically saying “I love you”? Were you, what do you think that Helena was trying to express at that time?

Jaime: I, I, I think that it was, um, a sense of, uh, acceptance, and, um, and, and, and, and, and love, I mean, uh, because Helena had always been such a, kind of a troubled character in so many ways and she had kind of, um, these struggles and this darkness and these mental health issues and I think that “I smell apples” was a, a, a wa- wa- was, she, she’d kind of come to the light, you know, she, she had, had kind of accepted herself, and it was such an altruistic act of love, she was sacrificing herself in order to save the others, that it was true love, like she’d overcome the darkness. So it was, uh, I, I, I, I, love that, uh, moment, yeah, that kind of-

Jo: I know we wanted, uh, one of the most beautiful definitions of love onscreen is recognition of your soul in someone else.

Dana: Mhmm.

Jo: That’s really what happens, and I thought that when Jaime did that, there was a very beautiful, I mean it’s sort of like Romeo and Juliet. You see this moment of, and we talked about it earlier, that energy, that to me is that. what that is-

Jaime: Yes.

Jo: -the scene is, “I smell apples.” It’s these two people who see each other in each other and are profoundly connected, whether, in whatever way that it is, it’s just a profound connection, you know, and so often we find boxes to put these connections in, you know, as humans, we want to make sense, we want to make logic of them, you know, which is, I think, um, why storytelling suffers in the representation, because you want to define what a thing is and kind of, um, the most beautiful things about some of the most special relationships is they, they're beyond what you can say they are, they’re beyond categorization, they are, you know...

Jaime: I, I, I definitely think that, although it wasn’t written in that way, I mean, if you actually go back and look at the footage, I’m saying “I love you” to, uh, uh, HG is saying “I love you” to Myka and Myka is is let-

Jo: I only think that’s what she was saying.

Jaime: -letting, letting it land.

Dana: Confirmation, folks! Confirmation, um, everyone!

Jo: In here. [points to head]

Dana: Write it in your vows, write it now in your vows!

Jo: Dana, you’re funny! [laughs]

Dana: Thank you!

Jaime: But wh- when, when did I come back and I was like, married to, what-

Dana: You, you weren't married, you were with a gentleman, and he had a, a young child and-

Jaime: And he was a bit of a drip as well!

Jo: And the house was very suburban, that’s all I remember was, I like walked into this house and I was like-

Jaime: That was, was that, I don’t really know the chronological, um, ordering, but like, I had like a ponytail, and I had a, possibly-

Jo: You were probably like driving a minivan.

Dana: You were teaching, you were teaching, weren’t you?

Jaime: Cause wasn’t I [indecipherable]

Jo: It’s okay, Jaime, I [indecipherable]

Dana: You were like in Phoenix or something.

Jaime: Yeah so, so what was that, after a bit I, so like “I smell apples” was the ending of my character, right? So like that, was that after a bit-

Dana: Right, and then you got rev- you were brought back-

Jaime: Right.

Dana: And then you kind of disappeared for a bit.

Jaime: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dana: Yes. Yeah, um-

Jaime: Yeah.

Dana: The, um, the, the, uh, the fans [laughs] were, um, confused by that, were like what?

Jaime: I d- I’m confused, I’m confused! [laughs]

Jo: Not just the fans, not just the fans.

Jaime: Well, I actually, um, I, I, I really want to go back and see that scene, um, I, I feel like you came to, I don’t, I was living in like suburbia-

Dana: Mhm.

Jaime: And, and didn’t you come to-

Jo: I don't remember.

Jaime: -the house and I, I think you came to-

Jo: I remember that horrible house though, because it was like, it… [makes disgusted face]

Jaime: It was so weird and I was like hello, I’m kind of like a completely different woman!

Jo: It was like very Stepford, I like, I walked in and, I don’t know why Myka was so accepting, I would’ve taken a baseball bat to the house, gonna be like, we’re leaving!

Jaime: So, so, so, so, I, so I, Jack, so Jack, Jack-

Jo: Get out of here, you drank the Kool Aid!

Jaime: I remember Jack was there and I was like, um, uh, oh, like this, like, like this doesn't work because of this and this doesn’t work because of that, and I was having a little, kind of like a creative difference with him, and, and he left for the day, he left for the day, and I really want to go back and see that s- that, that scene, because I remember I was asking him if I could, yeah, I know it’s, it says this but could I play it like this? And I do- I remember he didn’t want me to for the storyline, but I remember he left. [laughs] So I’d love to go back and see, I, I remember think- feeling like I was quite naughty, that I actually got away with it, but, uh-

Dana: Oh, I am loving all the subversive shit that was happening behind the scenes. [laughs]

Jaime: Yeah. [laughs]

Jo: Do you remember the park bench as well? Remember that scene, it was-

Jaime: Oh, yeah, a bench.

Jo: Wasn’t that a bench?

Jaime: Oh, that was a love scene, that was a love scene.

Jo: That was a, yeah, we really went for that one. [all laugh]

Jo: Everyone was like, what? And I’m like, well, we’re doing it. Might as well!

Jaime: [laughs] And we’re in like, Toronto, and everyone behind the camera, like, they’re very blokey, and it’s not in the script, and then they're like, “oh I didn’t, they’re, they’re, oh I didn’t see that coming!” [laughs]

Jo: They were like, what are you guys doing? We’re like, we’ll figure it out! [laughing]

Jaime: Exactly! We’re just doing our own thing. [laughs]

Dana: Oh, a little, a little mutiny, a little bit! [laughs] Well we, we, we’ve ha- we’ve had such incredible conversation so far, and I have so many fan questions for you, and if we were onstage everyone would get to come up to the mic-

Jaime: Aw.

Dana: -and ask you questions, but I do have a bunch of questions that were sent in, um, so I do want to get to your fans, because your fans are so integral to keeping this like-

Jo: That’s why we’re here.

Dana: -story alive. Uh, let’s see here. Let’s kick it off. Alright, so wellsbering wants to know, what personality traits do you share with your characters?

Jaime: Well I think, I think that, um, I, uh, definitely always get cast as the baddie for whatever reason, but then I think that, um, really the quirky mess that I, I, I morphed into is basically me. [all laugh]

Jo: I like that answer, that’s great. Um, I, uh, am very A-type when it comes to certain things, and Myka very much, I’m very like, flowy, Myka wa- didn’t flow, but there are certain parts of my life where I’m not flowy around. My work is one of them, writing is another one. Um, and I’m very afraid of letting people down. I think that’s why I've been, I was te- telling a lot of the people that I was talking to today that, you know, the reason I didn’t do this a lot when the show was on, I couldn’t understa- i was like, why do people wanna meet me? They're gonna meet me and be disappointed.

Dana: Ohhhh.

Jo: Yeah.

Dana: I think everyone thinks that though, I think that’s very common.

Jo: I think tha- yeah, I think that’s the human condition, right?

Dana: Yes.

Jo: Um, but, but I think Myka and I share that sort of reserve, you know, that thing where you’re like I don’t, no, don’t get too close. I’m like a Monet, stay back. [laughs]

Jaime: And I, I think that was part of the chemistry as well, it’s like, you have that kind of like, you know, protectio- protective-

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: -kind of like, edge. And so it’s like, if, I think that i- in a way, the gift that we had by it not being written for us is, if had been written we would’ve, the characters would’ve made each other, um, accessible to each other far too quickly. It was like the slow burn of, Myka could be quite prickly, and my character was completely messed up so it was kind of like, this kind of like energy between them where they were kind of like, you know, like working each other out, feeling each other out-

Jo: Is there? Is there an energy there?

Jaime: And then the laughs were well earned, and the smiles, and the deciding to work together was well earned. There was a, a lot of suspicion around each other, and when they opened up or they kind of let their guard down, it was hard earned, and and it was like, you know, something you would wanna rejoice at.

Jo: Yeah, aw, I love that.

Dana: Um, okay, so this is from mayberrycosplay, uh, you may remember mayberrycosplay, I believe one of them dressed as HG at a con, uh-

Jaime: Oh!

Dana: -but they wondered-

Jaime: I’ve seen a few HGs.

Dana: You’ve seen a few HGs.

Jaime: [laughs]

Dana: This is for Jo about, uh, Myka’s experience with ovarian cancer and, uh, like, how the awareness of this silent killer of women, like how that storyline, what that storyline meant to you and how it felt to portray that?

Jo: I was really nervous about that storyline, you know, anything that has affected people and their families and, and it’s always, I, you know, difficult territory to walk as an actor, especially in a show like Warehouse where there's so much happening on such a grand level that I’m like, are they going to pay attention to this? Are they going to really honor a storyline like this? was my concern, you know, like very often things like that are added like, uh, it’s like putting a robot arm on a story, and you're like oh, and by the way, there’s ovarian cancer! And so I was really, you know, concerned about showing up for that and, and, and and serving it in a way that people understood and, and could identify with that, you know, it’s such a catharsis, that’s what I think it’s supposed to be. Um, so it was, uh, I, the fans told me I pulled it off, that’s the only way that I know.

Dana: Well it meant a tremendous amount to, to mayberrycosplay and so that’s why they, they sent that in because it, it really affected them because of their own personal-

Jo: Yeah.

Dana: -you know, family journeys and such.

Jo: Well I’m so, so, thank you, I mean, I’m still wondering, you know, I worked really hard to make sure that was in there. We’ve all lost somebody to cancer, we all know what that’s like, we all know- I mean, I mean, I certainly have, to feel a lump and be like [does the Home Alone face] you know. I have two friends right now who are going through it, so I try to honor it in the best way. I- it’s one of the things that makes me want to be an actor, uh, that I think is so special about it is that you get to tell stories that people, it’s a group catharsis, you know, so I’m glad that, glad they think I, the only thing that, if they think I sh- I showed up then... [laughs] yes, good, good, good.

Dana: Um, let’s see here, cloxy813 wants to know what was your favorite, favorite scene to film together?

Jo: Probably the heaving bosoms scene. I was excited for the heaving bosoms scene, which was all like [mimes placing gun to forehead] kill me!

Jaime: [laughs]

Dana: Hashtag heaving bosoms scene.

Jo: It was so hot that day, I remember my tank top-

Jaime: So hot, oh my god, it was like-

Jo: It was like, my tank top, I would like look down and find, I was like, my boobs are out, um. [laughs] I just saw him sign, them sign, um.

Jaime: We were by that lake, I just wanted to dive in there. It was-

Jo: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I loved, I loved, I loved doing that scene, I have to say. And, and the chess scene, I remember that.

Jaime: Oh yeah.

Jo: I remember that very well. Um, I really enjoyed my work with Jaime because I, as I said, you know, there’s not a lot of scenes that are two women just being women. It was so, it was like a breath of fresh air and so I, I wasn't, I was, uh, you know, a lot of the times Myka was there to witness Pete-

Jaime: Or, or, or to laugh, or to kind of laugh and sigh at his super funny jokes.

Jo: The funny jokes... um, so, so it was so nice to not ha- be in a scene from that point of view. So often women are are written as accessories-

Jaime: Yeah.

Jo: You know, and, and this was a storyline where I felt like she was a whole person and I could be like a whole, real person, I didn't have to be like-

Jaime: I, I, I, I, I was on a show called Hustle and there was a character on it called Danny Blue, and he had all the funny lines, and one of the refrains that I had was “oh Danny. Oh Danny,” where every time he said something cheeky or naughty or a joke I’d go “oh Danny,” and I remember just being so excited to get the job, but then after awhile like me saying “oh Danny” really wore thin, especially as off camera I feel like I was more witty! [laughs] In that space I was much more funny, but all the funny was written for him, and I was going “oh Danny.” So when I came in I really, I kind of, um, you know, I knew the frustration of playing the, kind of, you, you know-

Jo: Straight man.

Dana: The “oh Danny.”

Jo: -if you were playing, right, right, the brainiac, uptight brainiac, and Pete had all the funny lines, so obviously we were in a lot of scenes with the rest of the cast and keeping the story going, but I felt as though all the character stuff that we had as, as women came from the scenes when we were on our own, and obviously that first scene with the grappler, um, you know, was, it was kind of the first scene where I’d been playing kind of like a little, kind of kind of like sneaky little looks and curiosity and fascination with this woman-

Dana: Yeah, we noticed.

Jaime: And, but, but, I, but, it wasn’t until the grappler scene that I thought that, that i was starting to get this, kind of, this chemistry going, and then there was a scene, do you remember the scene where I didn’t know how to work a computer or open it, it was like a, I was like a monkey-

Jo: Yeah [laughs] yeah.

Jaime: I was like a, it was like, I didn’t know what this is, we were-

Dana: Well, I mean in, in f- in fairness you had been in bronze for a long time.

Jaime: -we were in like a stu- a student room, a student's room, it was-

Jo: Yeah, we were at the college, we were at U of T.

Jaime: And, and. and we’d, it was the first time we’d deci- you’d, you’d kind of begrudgingly decided that we could work together, and HG was kind of a little thrilled, and you were a bit begrudging and-

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: There was all, we, we still had to, ‘cause like, in sci-fi there’s a lot of storyline and exposition and kind of fantastical stuff, which is super fun, but actually as actors you really get excited about the character stuff and there was always just this great character stuff whenever we were on our own with a scene-

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: -um, because we didn’t have to worry so much about servicing all the other characters, we just serviced each other.

Dana: Well, you know, there are only two kinds of queer women. It is thrilling or begrudging, it’s one or the other. [all laugh]

Dana: They fit perfectly in there.

Jaime: I mean maybe that’s why it resonated so well, and maybe it was the reason it was so great, that it wasn’t written, because you had these two kind of like, kind of sli- slightly spiky kind of like flawed women, kind of like o- one, you know, one not particularly into the other at all, you know, so-

Jo: It was interesting, I still remember, I still remember receiving that energy and receiving that stuff and realizing, sort of plotting, cause I’m like, how long would it take Myka to figure this out?

Jaime: [laughs]

Jo: Seriously, I was like, cause, Joanne is not her,, I’m, you know, I’m wasn’t in the box that she, I always thought, Jack’s like, you’re exactly like that character, I’m nothing, I’m not- [laughs] I mean there’s a part of me that’s uptight but there's a part of me that’s most definitely not, so I was like how, and I really wanted to do the discovery of it within her, the like, this, the, this feeling started, and then her sort of, and M-Myka to me as a character as a whole was always somebody who was afraid, this is somebody who was always very scared of everything and presented themselves in this very [mimes acting stuffy and uptight] way because there was so much going on here [gestures to heart] and it was slow in the five seasons, I really wanted her to like, you know, relax and start laughing and not be so, and I was like, there’s a certain amount of wonder that was like-

Jaime: Endless wonder.

Jo: -ohhhh, ohhhhh, ohhhh, like you kind of see her, one of the things about that journey is you start to see her discover sort of herself and her own feeling surrounding that, which I thought was really special.

Jaime: And also you, um, you, you kind of ended up, you, you know, HG was kind of like a tricky character and she was always one step ahead, um for, that first season, but then when she started to fall apart, you were the one that kind of put her together, and then I felt like there was also this humor introduced, this lightness introduced to your character through the humor el- elements-

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: -and the surprise, which was, um, really lovely for your character.

Jo: Yeah, I, I think for m- for me, you know, it was a decision I made like in season two that I k- she had to evolve and grow and sort of, um, I couldn’t, I was, I was, I was like, I can’t keep coming to work and putting a giant stick up my ass [laughs] like we’re doing, like I need just to like expand her and go towards her relaxing and really finding, I think for her the big thing was always finding connection, you know, this-

Dana: Sure.

Jo: -we, we see in the beginning of the show is, it’s very cut off, very isolated, very like, and I, she lost her partner, that was, when I read that script, immediately I was like, this is someone who’s so scared of losing people again that she’s never gonna let anyone else in, and that was sort of like my understanding of her. And when Jaime came on, it was such a great way to explore that, Myka opening, you know, as feelings developed, her opening, you know-

Dana: Well, that, the growth, the character journey that both of your, your characters went on, I think that is what makes the show still so enduring to fans, like why they feel so connected to it, because we do, we saw that journey, you know, both of you had your own journeys to go on and you somehow managed to cross, cross paths, and it may not have ended the way fans had wanted it to, but we still go so much out of it.

Jo: I’m so glad.

Dana: I wish it was endgame, but what can I do?

Jaime: We, we, we need a spinoff show for Jo and I, we, we need a spinoff show.

Dana: Okay, yes, the spinoff, okay! You need to talk about that because-

Jaime: Who do we need to talk to to make that happen?

Dana: I got in a lot of trouble on Twitter yesterday for not asking a spinoff question, uh, what, like, what would a spinoff look like between between HG and Myka?

Jo: I think it would be have, to be now, which we-

Dana: Yeah.

Jo: And we’d have to get her, there’s no ponytails in this story, there’s no suburbs, there’s no fucking ponytails, um, no-

Jaime: I won- I won- I wonder if, um, it could be now, but, or, I wonder if I, I had to come in for a mission and then I actually pulled you back into my time, that might be an interesting way to turn it on its head.

Dana: Ooh, Jaime Murray, there we go!

Jaime: If we both had to go back-

Dana: I love me some period.

Jaime: -into my time or you know what made me think that [she does the Jaime Murray hair flip™] what I-

Jo: [laughs]

Jaime: I saw that, I saw that ne- The Nevers-

Jo: I miss that hair flip!

Jaime: -the, the, the a- the adverts for The Nevers on HBO, and I’m like that is the HG Wells spinoff right there, and I was like super fucked that I wasn’t in that, and then I read that Joss Whedon was a consultant and I was like [inaudible] really bad, so, but, anyway I think that that’s what we should do. I, I’m also obsessed with that time period.

Jo: I mean, yeah, and also like it was real, yeah-

Jaime: It was the beginning of ps-

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: -psychology, of like Tesla, of of like different thoughts, there was like, they were like spiritual, um, kind of scientists and atheism and there was all it this opportunity for change, which actually wasn’t taken, but it was actually, it’s super interesting right at the time, there was suffragettes-

Jo: Also a fish out of water for me would be so wacky, because I’m a fish out of water too, alright.

Dana: I’m curious if yo all saw the Saturday Night Live sketch the other, uh, last week with, uh, lesbian period drama-

Jaime: Oh!

Dana: -and how, how every lesbian, like anything that features lesbians now has to be- [laughs]

Jaime: Well have you e- have you ever-

Dana: -it’s like the Edwardian or, like the Edwardian times.

Jaime: Have you guys read Sarah Waters, do you know this?

Dana: Oh, of course!

Jaime: Like, so, and maybe that is actually what helped me get to HG Wells, but I loved those books when-

Dana: Oh, they’re so amazing.

Jaime: -I was growing up and I feel like we should make those o- we should remake one of those b- Jo, you’ve got to read those books, and then-

Jo: I’m writing it down! I’m taking notes!

Jaime: Oh, it’s amazing.

Dana: You two would be amazing in her most recent one.

Jaime: She writes these amazing Edwardian, Edwardian kind of wanton lust and then there’s like, like the vervain or whatever, that kind of drug that they used to take back then-

Jo: Opium?

Jaime: -so it’s like slightly, kind of like psychedelic, oh, it’s amazing, yeah, she’s amazing.

Dana: [laughs] Well, we unfortunately are out of time, and it’s been so much fun to talk to the two of you, and I, I love the love that you have for your characters, for your friendship, for the fans, uh, it’s, it’s so lovely to see, and thank you so much for making this work in your schedules, I know you’re both super busy doing your own projects, um, and I want to think Mark. Mark, you’re amazing, thank you so much for, for interpreting.

Jaime: Thank you, Mark!

Jo: Thank you, Mark!

Dana: Um, do you have anything you want to end with, to say to the, to the Bering lesbians out there?

Jaime: Well, first of all, I want to say that, um, if anyone sends me messages to, you know, pictures or anything that that Jo needs to see, I’ll make sure that Jo, Jo gets it, ‘cause she’s not on social media, and I’ll, I’ll share stuff with her so that she can kind of know the love from the community.

Dana: Yeah, great.

Jo: I think, um, I’m actually gonna try to put together a newsletter because I’m trying to get my shows made and I could use this community, you know, to help-

Dana: Oh, we will support you to the end! We will march off that cliff with you.

Jaime: I could help you make a Twitter account, just for our community.

Jo: I don’t wanna do Twitter, I wanna do a newsletter. [laughs] I don’t wanna, I don’t know how many characters are in it, but it’s not enough. [laughs]

Jaime: But Jo, Jo, you have to actually read some of the fanfiction. The fanfiction is epic.

Jo: I have a book that I got, somebody wrote a book-

Jaime: Unbelievable, oh my god.

Jo: -like a novel.

Jaime: They’re brilliant, these people are brilliant, like best fans ever.

Dana: There is some really incredible work out there.

Jaime: Well, do you want to-

Jo: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone, um, you know, I don’t do these very often, and just like, the outpouring of love, like just the connection, I really appreciate it, I’m so grateful, so thank you.

Jaime: Yeah, it’s such a beautiful community. I feel really proud to have been welcomed into it and, uh, very grateful.

Dana: Well, we’ll hope to see you another time, and thank you all who turned in to this panel. [Jaime blows kisses]

Jo: Thank you.

Jaime: Bye, guys.

Dana: Do you smell apples?

Jaime: Bye, Jo, I love you so much.

Jo: Do you smell apples? I love you too. [blows kiss] I’ll talk to you soon.

Jaime: Yes, I’ll see you later. Bye bye, darlings.

Jo: Bye.

#bering and wells #myka x hg #hg x myka #joanne kelly #jaime murray #warehouse 13 #clexacon #clexacon 2021 #myka bering #hg wells #helena wells #nerdsbians

[husbandohunter]

Stardew Impact [Stardew Valley+Genshin Impact x Reader]

Part 2/3 Zhongli, Xiao

Synopsis: “A mysterious phenomenon brought you and your s/o to an unfamiliar world: Pelican Town! Without the power of Visions, the two of you begin to learn the life of what it takes to be...a farmer?”

(DOMESTIC FARM LIFE ROUND TWO)

Genre: Fluff

Others

Diluc and Kaeya

Albedo and Childe

(A/n): This was meant to be part 3 but I couldn't wait to write xiao. Plus Ive been writing Albedo for almost the whole month already Word count_2.6k

-------

Xiao

• Thrown in an unfamiliar environment puts Xiao on high alert. Instincts kick in and his hand subconciously grabs for his spear. Nothing. Not even his vision activated. Xiao's gaze darts all over before landing on your figure. He sighs in relief, you're safe, that much he can decipher as of now.

• Stripped of his power, left with only claws and teeth (if must) to protect you from any dangers, he was ansty with every little thing. 

• The villagers are so nice??? For what reason must they have to act so friendly to strangers (Xiao wonders). The Mayor even granted you two a vast farmland free of charge. 

• Shortly he realized he no longer had his karmaic debt. Xiao wasn't sure how to live his life in this state. He dedicated his entire existence to years of slaughter and suffering that it became the only thing he knew. He won't admit it of course, he'll just throw in scoffs and remarks about how mundane activities are a waste of time when in reality, he just has no clue on how to handle them.

• Thats why the first day was difficult as you both try to figure out how to plant parnsips. Deciding it was better to go with an experiment, you split the share of seeds in half and used what basic knowledge you had on farming to finish the job. Xiao on the other hand tried copying what you did….though the outcome wasn't so desirable it was a mess. (His trained hands have taught him to be on the rough side).

• He doesn't bother socializing with the townspeople even though he has no karmaic debt to worry about. Xiao thinks you're more than enough anyways so what's the point? 

• Robin is the only person who can tolerate him for obvious reasons (cough Sebastian cough) she knows exactly how to deal with his personality type. His glares don't faze her, she simply thinks its just a teenage phase of some sort. 

• Eventually they become mutuals, Xiao thinks Robin is similar to Verr Goldet in a way. Since he's the one who does the heavy labour of chopping down trees and mining stones for building upgrades, he gets a chance to visit her house quite often. He comes back with lots of recipes too.

• You find out that his adepti blood never left him. Xiao doesn't need sleep so you better believe it when he tells you the next morning that he spent the whole night watering all 300 of your crops (watering is the only process he's good at for farming). 

• Sometimes you catch him staring out of the window, wondering what he may be thinking. Life was so much more different, almost hard to recognize. Was this real? Is it okay for it to be real, just this once? Ever since he committed his duty to Morax, Xiao didn't dream of a time when everything would be peaceful. Yet here he is, no longer a weapon but on a journey to find out what it's like to live as a normal person. 

• Spring: Every morning you find him kneeling behind the cabin with the pet cat (yes, cats seem to suit Xiao very much). He just stares at them, hesitant if he wanted to pet their fur or rub their chin. So he continues to glare intensely, scaring your cat away :(

• Whenever you wanted to attend any of the town's festivities, Xiao wouldn't even hide his distastefulness but goes with you regardless. Why do mortals consider hiding eggs and finding them a fun activity? And what kind of a name is Flower Dance? Can't they just call it a dance?

• Though…he does like the sight of you wearing a flower crown. Xiao likes putting stuff in your hair.

Since setting foot upon this new world, time seemed to have slowed down to the point that almost everything felt like an eternity. And you didn't mind, with him by your side, you wouldn't mind if it did last forever.

The lull of the grass was the only sound Xiao could hear as he closed his eyes and rested his head on your lap. You maneuvered across his scalp in small, subtle motions, surprised with how warm he felt against the heat your palm. He stirs a little and lets out a soft breath before turning his face to lay on the side.

You were slightly intrigued by the yaksha's new demeanor. From far away, Xiao was an intimidating man, even during the first time you laid eyes him, his presence felt similar to a knife pointing at anyone who dares to come too close. But now, the face that usually held his signature annoyance melted into something you never thought you'd see as the sun rays brushed against the surface of his fair skin. You observed the way his dark eyebrows stayed in a relaxed arch. The red crescents lining right above his beautiful long lashes and the sound of soft snores through parted lips. It was hard to believe that this man was the same person who claimed to have ended a thousand lives through thousands of years.

Did he fall asleep already?

Gently moving away the strands away from his cheekbone, hovered your gaze above him and whispered, "I thought adepti don't need rest."

"Hmph," Xiao responds, though there was no harshness in his tone, "Quit trying to be difficult, I didn't tell you to stop."

The smug grin on your face only widens. You lean downward and said to his ear, "And what's the magic word~?"

Xiao sighs at your antics. You were truly pushing your luck today and he simply didn't have the patience to entertain you. Without a warning, he grabs your wrist and pulls you down, foreheads pressing until you were but a breath away. The adepti conquers, he does not plead.

• Summer: As expected, your parnsnips weren't able to grow as much. Thus, this season was going to be the one to make up for the lost profit. Xiao is very good at hunting, perhaps the best in the entire town. Though the way he catches fish is rather peculiar, said by the folks. He prefers to carve a spear made of wood and repeatedly stabs the lake until results show. Xiao dislikes the old fashioned way, he says its unproductive and it unecissarily takes too much time. 

• But as much as he scared the whole town, they were extremely grateful when he cleaned up the slime issues happening in the mines. You could say that he grew very popular since then and eventually mustered up the courage to greet him a hello whenever he passes by. 

• You nudge him to reply back. Xiao usually shoots you a glare but slowly, he learns the courtesy of acknowledging someone's prescence.

• Fall: You woke up to a burnt smell coming from the kitchen. Xiao just thought he would return the favour since you always worked so hard. (He was actually trying to figure out what a 'whisk' was. It was no wonder why there were eggshells in the dish!)

• You realized that Xiao was taking more initation compared to before. At night, when you thought the animals were actively jumping in the barns, the noise was actually from Xiao trying to adjust himself to the ways of tending the field. After learning what TV was, he would always switch to the channel "Livin off the land" to gain some insight. Truly, Xiao was greatful even though he knew he eventually had to return to his duties, he wanted to utilize the current days the best way he could. And what better way was it to just make you happy in return?

• Winter: This was the season to test the accumulation of Xiao's abilities: you caught a cold and he had to manage everything in his own. Xiao scolded you for not wearing enough and being too careless but at the same he considered that you must've been working too hard.

• Goes to Robin for help. She basically became his mom now. Prepares the food and leaves them in the fridge, she teaches Xiao how to use the phone in case he needed any help and also lets him know where all the essentials are. 

• Xiao stayed by your side the whole time even though you told him you'd be fine. But he refuses, he may no longer be a gaurdian but he was your gaurdian. That role never changed.

~~x~~

Zhongli

• You wake up on a soft bed with Zhongli sitting at a chair nearby. He hands you a cup of brewed water but you're still blatlantly confused. Seems like everything was taken care of by Zhongli, it ends up with him explaining everything to you. 

• The folks instantly assumes you both as a married couple. Who could blame them? He did carry your unconcious body all the way to town while asking for a local doctor. You can bet that the ladies wish they were you at that moment. Zhongli took care of everything, including with the contract with the new farm.

• It didn't take long for you both to adjust to the new lifestyle. Zhongli's accumulated knowledge was enough to last all four seasons. Days past by peacefully as you shared the tasks. He'd place down the stone paths towards the gate and you busied yourself with decorating the house. After that was done, Zhongli would rest upon the rocking chair outside your door (like the grandpa he is) and sometimes you'd join him in one reading session. His voice was soothing, you eventually dipped into a slumber as the evening grew colder. Just like always, your beloved brings his arm to encapsulate you from the wind, brushing his thumb against your skin subconciously while you snore softly into his shoulder.

• In a way, the townsfolk were right. You both do act like a married couple. It's basically domestic life with Zhongli in a nutshell.

• He gets connected with Gunther and lands a role in the Museum. Since he's there so often, Zhongli also manages to be acquainted with Elliot as well. Two men who have a common interest with books while speaking in poetic prose. Their conversation would last for hours to the point Gunther had to kick them out of the library!

• Veeeery good with the children, not in an entertaining way but its just the aura he reeks. Penny usually had trouble dealing with Vincent since he never seems to be able to focus but the minute Zhongli speaks, he's all ears. Not only that he was also very good with the elderly. He even recommended some herbs George could take to soothe his back issues.

• Problem is that he still forgets to bring his wallet and Childe isn't here to save him. So once you stepped foot into the Stardrop Saloon and Gus calls you over, he tells you about the cost he owed to his tab….

• But this tranquil life full of genuinity and deprived of sovereignty, he was overjoyed to be able to spend it with you. Because he knew you were unlike him, that all humans were born with an expiry date. He knew so well that after every new greeting, he would have to face the goodbyes over and over until the world eventually came to an end. He knew you were also going to be part of those many goodbyes while he would still be here.

• But as Zhongli walks amongst the fallen leaves, he remembered the beauty that carries within every new beginning. They brought him to you and he would never hesitate to trade his gnosis for it.

Spring: You shot up your bed when Zhongli blast the TV at full volume. He apologizes, saying that he was simply trying to change the channel. You figured it was best for him to go outside before he somehow glitches the screen until it couldn't repair itself (Robin charges for repairs).

• Every thursday you both go to Pierre's store to complete your grocery shopping. He offers to push the cart as you fill the basket with all the necessities (plus it saves you the trouble of having him tossing whatever he sees without looking at the price tag).

• Every afternoon you order a take out from the Saloon, sharing the meal while sitting at the fountain's edge near the community center. Every evening Zhongli would take you to explore the rest of the vast farmland, discovering places you weren't even aware of. It was no wonder why everyone thought you were a married couple. 

• Summer: Since the cabin was too small for a bathroom, you guys would have to travel up the mountains in order to get to the Spa house (cue sweatiness x10). 

• The concept of hotsprings was derived from Inazuma so it was no surprise that Liyue eventually took it after him. Zhongli had collected some incense from foraging items over the past few months, he knows whats up. But overall he gives the best bath sessions (hands down) and you were the one who insisted in joining him.  He was a gentle and sweet lover, always putting your needs before his. Ancient artifacts and old history books have always been precious to him, he treated you no differently.

The heartbeat of the oceans continues to rock back and forth until they brush up on the sandy shore, washing away the two pairs of footprints left behind by a man and a woman.

Gold against gold, his amber eyes reflected against the scenery. Millions of lights flashed among the sea when the sun began to climb down from the sky, it's rays hugged across the valley like an ethereal glow bestowed by the heavens as summer's wind brought even more warmth than what he had currently felt. You trance ahead of with the same light shaping around your form. 

"Oh hey there's another rainbow shell," you waved at him before running off, "I'll be back!"

How is it that you still continue to shine like gold in his memories?

Zhongli suddenly ponders at the chapters laying ahead of him. He spent so many years turning each page without ever reaching a conclusion, forever searching the fabled happy endings written in fairytale books, but he knew his immortality wouldn't grant him that wish.

Thus, the formal archon raised his pen and reweaves his own story. He envisions his future with you by his side, engraving every detail until it was immortalized in his memories.

Perhaps I shouldn't keep her waiting.

With a renewed resolve, Zhongli clutches the gemstone tightly in his palm, he seals the page with the final contract between your future and his.

• Fall: After getting your first house upgrade, it was time for the next event: the ceremony. Yes, Zhongli would only have a wedding if Liyue traditions were involved. Everyone was invited of course, they were quite intrigued with the flashy setup such as lanterns and fireworks (you were a little worried with where he got the budget for such items) and Zhongli even educated Gus about some recipes he can use for the Saloon.

• You found out that Zhongli was saving all his money for this day (it was no wonder that he couldn't pay for his tab!). Old habits die hard, it was a shame that he didn't have his powers to craft the right items, but at least he got to sea you in a traditional eastern dress (it's the part he was looming forward to the most).

• Fall is the best season. One you wouldn't forget.

• Winter: Ah he finally learns how to use  technology after three seasons. He only knows two channels from the TV which was 'Livin off the Land' and the weather channel. Zhongli oftens talks to himself as he tries to figure out more mechanics, he seems to be extremely absorbed in the most basic things.

• The miner of the house. But instead of using them to upgrade tools and donating them to the museum, Zhongli likes to keep some of them for collection. You could say your house also had a little museum in the other room.

• Romcom movies and soap operas. You can't change my mind that this is what you both spend your time watching as the snowstorm rages outside. 

#genshin impact #stardew valley #genshin impact headcanons #xiao x reader #zhongli x reader #xiao headcanons #zhongli #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact xiao #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact imagines #genshin scenarios #genshin imagines #genshin impact zhongli #genshin xiao #genshin zhongli #nya-writes

[swtki]

HP Boys: Surprise Pregnancy Head Cannons

Summary: The HP boys and their reaction to their s/o (afab) being pregnant when its not planned.

A/N: This takes place post Hogwarts so all characters are 18+, though no real smut happens in this so its not an 18+ fic.

WARNINGS: UNPLANNED PREGNANCY, MENTIONS OF PRO CHOICE OPINIONS, MENTIONS OF SEX IN LITE TERMS, SWEARING, FLUFF, MENTIONS OF ALCOHOL, ALSO THIS IS SUPER LONG SORRY LOL

Draco

So everything is going great for the happy couple, you two just moved into a flat together and are working normal jobs, drinking wine like adults.

And sure, Draco knows he wants to marry you, but he knows you’re not ready to settle down like that so he just plans and dreams.

Due to poor choices, when you’re late by two weeks, you know what it probably is.

Draco doesn’t even notice that you ran out to the store and came back and hid in the bathroom for 10 minutes. CEO of minding his own business ig

You just kinda...walk up to him and hand him all 3 tests while your eyes fill with tears because what if he demands you get an abortion?

Or what if he fucks off to god knows where?

But instead he just looks at you with the most un-draco like smile. Like his face was soft and it looked like he could cry any moment.

“Oh my god,” He says, putting his hand on your belly, “I can be ready for this, but if you aren’t then we can you know...”

“No, I want it” then both of you rejoice bc yay baby!

Cut to 6 months later when your feet hurt so bad you have to lay down and watch while Draco fails to put a crib together.

He eventually gets it done tho.

And when the time comes, he’s built and arranged everything for your bundle of joy.

Harry

So you guys are probably already married, but with everything at the ministry going on, it makes Harry less than a family man.

You both agree that it’s probably better to wait so you can be home and yk...raise it.

Well smart man Harry forgets that to not have a kid you need to use protection.

So of course when your period is late you don’t think about it, until its four weeks late.

That night, you and Harry are laying in bed, and thats when you tell him.

“Harry..I’m late.”

“Late for what?” headass.

You: 😳😐

Him: 👁👁😲😲

He’s hesitant to say anything, because he knows its ultimitley up to you what happens with it until its out.

“I think I want to keep it...you know it wont remember much for the first year and a half so if things are stressful it will be okay and-“

“Love...Its going to be perfect”

Mf built the crib in like 45 minutes I swear.

And of course he forced you to keep up with your vitamins, pre natal care, and appointments.

Swear tho you’re about to kill him because cofFeE

But the way he holds your baby 🥺 its his most valued thing ever now.

Ron

Ron is iffy on the kid thing sometimes.

He does want them, but only later when you guys have lived and travled.

So no, you two haven’t planned nor is it even in the picture when your wedding roles around.

It’s in the early days of the marriage when you see his family at the burrow on the way back from the honeymoon.

And of course Molly knows

Because Weasleys are hyperfertile I swear.

She takes you into the kitchen and puts her hands on your arms, shes got that big Mrs.Weasley smile on too.

“I knew it!” She says and pulls you in for a hug, “How far dear??”

You’re just standing there like🧍🏻

“I can see it by the way you glow! Oh my you and my Ron must be so happy!” This woman doesn’t notice that you’re confused.

“Wait what? Mrs. Weasley what are you-?” Then you count the days, “Oh. Well I guess I just found out for myself”

Her face falls slightly, but then she tells you can make you a potion that will tell you if you are or not, stan.

The stupid potion turns green when you spit into it, so everything is confirmed.

That night, you and Ron are getting ready for bed in the guest room and you decide to tell him.

“Ron, sweetie. We need to talk.” He looks like he’s gonna start crying but sits next to you on the bed.

“Y/N...I know its scary but please, we just got married I don’t want to divorce quite just yet 🥺🥺”

“Ron I-“ you start smiling, “I’m pregnant you dufus.”

He just freezes, for a while. Not saying anything, he just looks at the wall with his mouth ajar.

So you get up and go to Ginny.

“Gin, I broke him.”

“Ew, I don’t want to know about how you and him”

“No, I told him that I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, yeah that would do it. Just I don’t know... Give him a minute?”

You give him several, getting a glass of water then heading back up to the room.

Ginny was right, he needed a minute.

“I don’t...I wasn’t...you were.?”

“You don’t have to stay, but I think we can do it. Plus, you would disapoint your mom if you left so...”

“Okay...we’ll do it. I’ll be the best damn Father you have ever seen.” He says, talking to your womb.

Well...he’s a father I’ll give him that.

Pro of having a Weasley baby: free crib thats already put together.

Even if it looks like a death trap.

“We’ll put some blankets over it don’t worry”

You know how some Dads hold their parters hand during the delivery? Yeah he got sick and was moral support from the outside.

To be fair, you weren’t screaming in pleasure by any means.

Scary. But beautiful.

He shows the kid to everyone, he might be more in love with the baby than he is with you.

Ron see’s the appeal of having kids now.

Neville

Moving in with your boyfriend is always fun, right up until you guys go at it so much you forget protection more than once.

You think about it, then move on with your day.

Until the doctor calls, then “oh fuck”

Romance Neville bf

“Why aren’t you having any wine? I thought it was your favorite?”

“I don’t think fetal alcohol syndrome is my favorite.” BRO HE SPAT

But he looks up with tears in his eyes, and runs over to you to grasp you in a hug.

“Oh my god! You’re pregnant! Oh my - We’re gonna be parents!! Oh my god we’re gonna be parents oh-“ Que you petting his hair till he’s calm again.

Lets be honest, this man probably swapped the herbology books for the parenting guides.

“Well I mean I’m just wondering if we should go with this color or this one”

“Nev, it doesn’t matter. Our baby will not care.”

“I read in my book that Infants actually can recognize mood in-“

He won’t let you do anything during your pregnancy.

Gotta love a man who cries because he loves you so much and you’re having his kid.

“I never had a father, what if I do it wrong? What if the baby hates me and runs away at seven?”

“We’ve got quite a lot of time before then.”

He was there during delivery, letting you crush his hand like a champ.

You can’t help but cry when you see him sleeping on the floor next to the crib, its so sweet.

Fred

You two most likely already had two kids, so you decided to wait a bit so your hands weren’t quite full.

Well...your body decided not to wait.

A test provides the two lines, another wild child.

The two toddlers already run around like thing one and thing two, only with red hair.

I think Fred would gladly make the family dinner, and wear an apron. He’d own it, as he should.

But mf gotta not drop the salad bowl when you tell him of the fetus inside you.

“Fred we are going to have a bee-ay-bee-why.”

Your five year old has just begun to spell 😐

He’s happy tho.

Like over the fuckin moon.

He buys the two kids big brother/sister shirts too 🥺🥺

He knows the drill pretty well, so he isn’t too worried about the future.

But its funny that he still freaks out about the crib and feeding chair since he gave it away, you know because you guys werent having another kid.

He packed a hospital bag and kept it in the trunk, counting down the days.

Hours of delivery (He just sat back and held your hand) only to end up with a room full of 7 Weasley family members.

Fred always said that 3 was his lucky number :)

George

You guys were taking it slow, no marriage until you both felt it was time. And certainly no children before that.

Well you know...things changed when the test was positive.

You slid it over on the table, tears pooling in your eyes. He was stunned and quiet, which made you burst out sobbing because you knew that neither of you planned on having a baby.

But to your surprise he starts to smile.

“I want whatever you want, I’m staying by your side no matter what.”

“I mean...would it really be so bad? A house, a kid, a dog?” He holds your hand as you think aloud.

You both give it a week to think it over and the virdict is to keep it.

Thats when he decides he has to marry you, asap because he loves you and will never let you go especially now.

He loves to gush about the carrier of his child, to him you are a godess.

He’s the Dad with a predestination complex.

“Y/N, I just see him being a star quiditch player”

“George, we don’t know if it’s a him.”

He rolls his eyes “Okay then I can see her being a star-“

He made Hermione take you out for a movie date so he could rearrange your bedroom, since you only had a single bedroom flat.

You come back to a new set up including a cot.

Damn pregnancy hormones make brain go 🥺😭😭

He freaks when your water breaks lol

ceo of driving like a maniac to the hospital.

He can’t hold your hand, he’s pacing back and forth, sweating and maybe crying though he’ll never admit to it.

You get the joy of watching him cuddle the baby while refusing to give your child to you.

“George I’d like to hold-“

“No, you need your sleep honey, don’t worry”

Hogging the child.

Cedric

Its no secret that Cedric wants a baby someday.

And he makes it clear your wedding will be spectacular too.

However, finding out you’re pregnant the week of your dream wedding was a shock.

A shock that made you bang your head into the wall because how could you be so stupid?? We had a plan??

So you decide to wait until after the wedding, that way it wont add onto the stress (happy stress) of the wedding.

Cedric keeps trying to fill your glass at the reception, to which you kindly refuse saying you want to remember the night entirely.

Yeah he’s like 🤨 mhm okay.

You can only pick at the dinner because ew salmon doesn’t sound like an option if you want to keep the contents of your stomach.

As everyone waves goodbye to the car, and you both set off into married life, he leans over.

“I may be out of my mind, but are you...?”

“Pregnant.” His face lights up, pulling you into a hug.

Finally, your car pulls up to a small cottage with lush garden scapes all around, putting a hand out, he walks you both from the car to the door.

“Ced, where are we?”

“Home.”

Somehow it was perfect with Cedric, even when it was rushed.

He loved talking to your womb, even if it was weird that he was talking about the babies future brothers and sisters.

“Cedric, slow down. We haven’t even had this one yet”

Basically he is father of the year before he’s a full father.

He’s there while you deliver, holding your hand and telling you how great you’re doing.

He doesn’t even complain when you insult him <3.

He updates you on everything.

If his eyes aren’t on that child, he’s either asleep or dead.

I think Cedric was meant to be a family man, because he loves everything about being one.

Taglist: @truly-insatiable @amourtentiaa @imdoingathingmom @annasdani @anchoeritic @mullthingsoverinthehotwater @cedricsyellowscarf @faeinorbit

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