#pay for a cameo cowards | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hallasimss · 9 months

Text

Niamh Ó Dálaigh (they/them, 26), Head of the Internal Audit Department for @kashisun's Simblr Office. their resting bitch face is to scare your ass so you don't commit fraud under their watch tyvm

— half Afro-Indo-Guyanese (mother) half Irish (father) — grew up just outside of Dublin. the accent is thick — Hozier's album dropped on Friday and they've already booked an appointment with their tattoo artist to get the Gaeilge verse from De Selby (Part 1) printed on their shoulderblade — is fluent and will curse you out in Gaeilge, English, Guyanese Creole and Aili Gaili if you provoke them. do not provoke them — the next time someone mispronounces their first name as 'nee-AHM' instead of 'NEEV' despite having been corrected beforehand they're going to commit acts of unspeakable violence. lack of Anglicization is not an excuse break free from the colonizer mindset — calling them 'Ni/Nee' for short is a criminal offense and also grounds for acts of unspeakable violence — studied business and accounting in university. almost chose law but decided against it at the last minute — plays cláirseach and steel pan in their free time. watches @rainymoodlet's Kiss Me in Komorebi religiously on the weekends. have placed bets on the contestants. they won't say which ones — once sang the entirety of Humors of Whiskey + The Rattling Bog at double speed while drunk. that was also part of a bet — best friends with @browntrait's Jesminder Bheeda. has a chapter in her upcoming cookbook dedicated to them. cameos on the blog sometimes. helped name the baby but if you ask for details before they're actually born it's an automatic audit for the nerve alone — 6'4", mainly leg, still wears heels most days. doors in the building were previously adjusted for @crsentfairy's Aesir Dhillon so it's a walk in the park where height's concerned — yes they have a boyfriend, apologies to those asking. yes there is a rumor that their ex also works at the company. yes said ex does not come within a 5 floor radius otherwise HR will be hearing the complaints — why would you drink coffee when cocoa tea Irish breakfast tea and strong masala chai exist. not necessarily in that order per say but. that being said if there is none available they're taking the coffee black no sweetener. the only time you use sweetener is in caife Gaelach anywhere else you're a f*cking coward — broke a man's nose outside a pub after he catcalled them. he didn't sue bc they threatened to break his nose again after surgery if he tried. the surgery cost a pretty penny btw — you hear any noise from their office that's just them playing the Ram-Leela soundtrack on loop since it came back to Spotify after how many godforsaken years. you hear any noise in between that then those are the ads. they don't pay for Premium that's a corporate scam — leaves work on time if there are no ongoing audits. they do not subscribe to the culture of the Grind — they're the one who passed on the budget discrepancies under @vhsmage's Hamda Farrah to the higher-ups. final report came with a note to add her perfume as a separate category by itself. as far as company gossip goes there hasn't been a problem in that regard since — goes down to Guyana at least once a year to visit with extended family. usually times it around Carnival, Holi or Diwali. will take PTO for all three. do not attempt to contact them once it is turned in, that will gain you an automatic audit on their return

#* mine.#* melanin.#* niamh.#( * tso. )#hallasimss #my sims #the simblr office #ts4 #the sims 4 #ts4 alpha #ts4 sims #black simmer #black simblr #simblr #ts4 edit #sims 4 edit #ts4 townie makeover #ts4 portrait #sims 4 portrait #ts4 cas #ts4 create a sim #ts4 lookbook #alpha cc #( * most of this post is just my Irish ancestors tapping on my shoulder and saying hi. so hi ig #| there's so much more i could have said. like how Come Out Ye Black and Tans is Niamh's permanent drinking song staple #| or how they have two middle names and their boyfriend only knows one of them. he'll get the other once he buys that ring #| you see any more content for them from me know it's Marine's fault. she did this #| no cc details this time bc this sh*t has gotten long enough but send me an ask for anything specific and i'll see if i can find it #| to help y'all out if you prefer to not send an ask it's a f*ckton of pralinesims content. do with that information what you will.#| anyway i'm shoving this into your hands and running away so pls don't let this flop asfjnbsfcqbdwdnskh )

164 notes · View notes

rainboq · 2 years

Text

So I'm like actively mad at the LiS comic now

So far, I've been pretty on board with the comics. Yeah, it's super obvious that it was made more than the original 4 issues last minute, and yeah, the amberprice timeline had a lot of padding and avoided dealing with really serious emotional stuff. But I still enjoyed it, it was nice to see Max and (a) Rachel getting along, the Pricefield and AmberPrice was good, and it gave hints for what could be with AmberPricefield (but they're cowards for it being platonic). But then the latest issue came out. Spoiler talk under the cut.

Then this shit happened.

Max just admitted that the Max from the AmberPrice timeline is dead.

Fucking WHAT?!

I cannot fathom how this makes any fucking sense. Not only does it contradict one of the issues in Dust where Max goes to a timeline where she's dead, and it rejects her, but Max spent two years living in a timeline where she fucking died?!

She's a freelance photographer! Her livelihood depends on circulating her name! Did nobody bother doing basic background on the photographer they hired? Did nobody look at her social media and connect the dots?!

Did Max just not have a fucking bank account or credit card? Did she just not pay her taxes? Did Chloe and Rachel not bother looking into things with her at all? I honestly can't believe that Chloe wouldn't know that Max had died or gone missing.

And on that topic, what the fuck happened to this Max? Did she take Rachel's place? Did Nathan OD her and she ended up a missing person's poster? Did Jefferson just kill her? Did nobody who knew her at Blackwell (KATE?! HELLO?! KATE LITERALLY ONLY GETS ONE BACKGROUND PHOTOGRAPH ON THE MEMORIAL WALL FOR THE ENTIRE COMIC AND I AM BEYOND FURIOUS ABOUT IT!) keep searching for her after her disappearance? Someone who might, say, search social media for her occasionally and might stumble across her instagram or whatever she's using to promote herself? And the most infuriating part of this is: Emma didn't have to explain this! It's not important how Max was able to jump into that timeline! It literally doesn't matter! But then she chose to explain it poorly, and in a way that just makes no actual sense.

I guess let this be a lesson, dear reader: you don't have to explain everything. And if you feel it needs an explanation, make sure it's a good one, that makes sense. Because this falls apart if you think about it for a few seconds.

Also Kate deserved at least a cameo in the flickers, she's like, the only person at Blackwell Max was close to before shit hit the fan. The only people Max pulls out powers for are Chloe and Kate, and the only people she regularly has physical contact with. (Warren gets one awkward side hug after the rooftop, and maybe a hug/kiss in ep 5). She's someone who really mattered to Max, and she just gets crickets.

I'm going to end up writing a fix-it fic at some point, because I hate this, and the AmberPrice timeline deserves more closure.

#life is strange #lis comic #spoilers #max caulfield #chloe price #rachel amber #kate marsh #bad writing decisions #soft magic doesn't need explanations god dammit #plot holes #overall the comics are enjoyable bordering on good at times #but this was just baffling #Kate needs more love

54 notes · View notes

immaturityofthomasastruc · 4 years

Text

#5: The One With Astruc's Self-Insert

In my introductory post, I said the main inspiration for this blog was @hypocrisyofandrewdobson. For those who don't know, Andrew Dobson is an infamous webcomic artist known for drawing webcomics that tend to demonize people he's come across in public or people who disagree with him online (either critical of his art or his political views), while portraying himself as the victim or wise man calling them out on their differing beliefs.

If you want to learn more about this guy who I consider to be far worse than Astruc, check out the blog in question. And no, I don't know why he draws himself as a blue bear.

Why am I talking about this? It's one thing for some schmuck on the internet to use his work to respond to criticism, but the creator of a popular animated series dedicating an entire episode to attacking his critics and trying to get others to feel bad for him is another story.

The second episode of Miraculous Ladybug's third season, “Animaestro” served as a wake-up call for fans (myself included) to make them realize how immature Astruc could be. The plot centers around the premiere of a movie about Ladybug and Cat Noir directed by Thomas Astruc, who voices himself in the original French dub.

And this isn't just a brief cameo like what Stan Lee did in the MCU. Astruc is the Akumatized person this episode, so there's naturally a lot of focus on him. Throughout the first half of the episode, Astruc portrays himself as this timid man who nobody recognizes or respects, like this idiot who doesn't know what animation is.

Doorman: This is a private event, sir.

Astruc: Huh? Excuse me? I'm Thomas Astruc, the movie director.

Doorman: You filmed Cat Noir and Ladybug? What are they like in real life?

Astruc: Er, it's an animated movie. It's all cartoon characters. We don't actually film anyone. See, there's this whole team that draw the chara—

Doorman: Whatever. Who would want to see Ladybug and Cat Noir as cartoon characters?

Get it? Wasn't that meta joke hilarious? This is how much I was laughing:

youtube

And Astruc continues to get about as much respect as Rodney Dangerfield when he interacts with other characters like Jagged Stone and Chloe.

Jagged Stone: Ladybug is one of my best buds! I can't wait to see her movie!

Astruc: Well I—I'm the director, so actually it's more my movie, so to speak.

Jagged Stone: Oh, so you're the one who created the story?

Astruc: Well, technically the screen writers wrote the story, inspired by Ladybug's exploits.

Jagged Stone: Oh, okay. So you did all the drawings?

Thomas: No, no. The animators do all the drawings.

Jagged Stone: So what do you do then?

(Later on...)

Chloe: So you're the one responsible for this movie?

Astruc: Yes, yes! Exactly! That's me!

Chloe: Then you were the one who left Queen Bee out of the trailer. You're lame, utterly lame.

I can't believe Astruc had a scene where he interacted with Chloe and didn't insult her at all.

The episode is determined to make the audience feel bad for Astruc. Nobody respects him and what he does. Isn't that saaaaaad? Nobody cares about animated film directors like Walt Disney or Tex Avery anyway. Not even these stupid children understand how hard Astruc works.

Several Children: Ladybug! Where's Ladybug?

Astruc: Hey there, kids!

Teacher: Ladybug isn't here children. We came here to meet the director of the movie. Children: (frowning in disappointment) Aww.

(Astruc looks visibly disappointed.)

Way to insult your primary demographic, Astruc. I thought you said kids have a better understanding of these stories when people criticized the writing of a certain episode (It's that scene in “Puppeteer 2” if you're curious/don't value your sanity).

It's almost like you're using that as an excuse to half-ass your work while still getting to claim this show is so groundbreaking.

In case you can't tell, “Animaestro” is one of those episodes. The ones where the showrunners decide to dedicate an entire episode to attacking critics of the show in a blunt fashion. Whenever a show addresses criticism, they either create an obvious strawman character to parrot the opinions of fans who don't like their work, or have someone defend the show and insult the critics directly.

youtube

The problem isn't that they're ignoring criticism. It's their show, and they aren't obligated to listen to critics or fans who don't like the direction the show is taking. On the other hand, they aren't obligated to fight back like this and treat their audience like crap. Any show that does something like the three clips I showed you usually comes off as petty and immature because they dedicate so much time to insulting the critics.

Even during the Akuma fight, Astruc has to call out Ladybug for having problems with his movie in-universe, obviously representing critics of the show Astruc claims have no right to criticize the show while it's still airing.

Ladybug: What's with that trailer too? I am not scared of cats, at all.

Astruc/Animaestro: You haven't even seen the movie and you're already slamming it?

Cat Noir: He does have a point, you know.

Ladybug: I wasn't slamming it. It's called constructive criticism!

Yeah, how dare Ladybug be angry that this movie is portraying her as a powerless coward dependent on Cat Noir as opposed to a confident and brave superhero. She just doesn't understand the genius of Thomas Astruc!

And of course the character Astruc claims is “perfect” is the one to take his side.

And that's another problem with this episode, the metatextual references. Before he gets akumatized, Astuc says he spent three years of his life working on his movie. I get that time in this show is weird (we somehow had episodes taking place on the first day of school, Christmas, Valentine's Day, and the first day of Summer), but how did Astruc's self-insert work on a movie based on a superhero who has only been active for a year? Meta-wise, it's an obvious reference to the scorn Astruc has gotten from fans after working so hard on his show, but the only people who would get that reference are the ones who are aware of Astruc's reputation online.

Self-Insert aside, I actually think the titular Animaestro is one of the more visually impressive Akumas featured on the show. Animaestro takes on several forms based off several different forms and eras of animation, like flash, anime, rubber hose, and they all stand out. Granted, some of them are obvious parodies of other characters like Goku or Sailor Moon, but the actual Akuma fight is fun to watch. According to the Mexican Miraculous Ladybug Twitter account, this episode took two and a half years to create, and it shows. It's too bad the story behind it is completely insufferable, almost like the cartoon equidistant to Pixels.

But then comes the part that honestly makes the episode worth it, mainly for how unintentionally hilarious it is. Do you want to know what Animaestro's weakness is? Do you really want to know?

Animaestro is physically incapable of moving unless someone is watching him. I am not making this up.

Ladybug and Cat Noir literally defeat Animaestro by getting everyone to stop paying attention to him.

I could make so many jokes with this, but I can guarantee you're already thinking of something just as good, if not better, than whatever I write.

And there's the end where Astruc gives Marinette his ticket to the movie, which prompts Marinette to kiss up to him for no real reason.

Astruc: Sorry, I guess you don't know who I am either.

Marinette: Of course do. You're Thomas Astruc, the movie director!

Astruc: She recognized me. Somebody actually recognized me!

Nothing happened to make her change her opinion on the Ladybug movie, she didn't really say anything to him earlier in the episode that connects to this exchange, and outside of a few lines Animaestro said, she doesn't even know why he got akumatized (even though ironically she and Chloe accidentally contributed to it because of the awful subplot involving Kagami I talked about last time). If anything, it comes off less like she actually appreciates Astruc's work, and more like she's stroking his ego just to keep him from getting akumatized again.

So yeah, this episode is awful, and the fact that it came out right after the controversial “Chameleon” only proved to show what kind of direction the show was taking this season.

But honestly, even if Astruc still wanted to make about how he doesn't get enough respect the episode could have potentially. All he had to do was make a simple change: Instead of making it about validation for Astruc as a creator, make it about validation for animation in general.

It's a common misconception that animation is only used for shows and movies aimed at children, so the episode could reflect it. Instead of the huge turnout where several celebrities appear at the premiere, instead, the turnout could be a lot smaller, with the media dismissing it as some stupid kiddie flick. Instead of getting akumatized because he gets humiliated in public/getting no respect from anyone else, Astruc gets akumatized because he sees the audience didn't go wild for the movie after the premiere. All he can hear them say is that it's just “kids stuff”.

So when Astruc is Animaestro, he goes on about how important animation is. How it's helped produce propaganda since World War II. How it helped improve special effects in big blockbusters. How the medium is used to create movies that simply can't be filmed on a physical set.

After defeating Animaestro, Ladybug shows up to talk to him. She had seen the movie earlier, and actually enjoyed it. She had a few problems with the story, but they were just minor nitpicks and inaccuracies Astruc wouldn't know about, and she was blown away by the animation. She tells Astruc not to be deterred by his critics, and continue to do what he does. As a designer in her civilian life, Ladybug knows the joy creating brings her, and both she and Astruc want to spread that joy through their work.

Back at the premiere, Astruc thinks about what Ladybug said to him when he sees some kids reenacting a scene from the movie. Astruc walks over to them and asks what they thought of the movie. They said they loved it and how energetic it was. When he tells them he is the director, the kids' faces light up and they say they want to do what he does when they grow up, bringing a smile to Astruc's face.

Isn't that a much more humble approach instead of what we got? It would have helped Astruc come across as more sympathetic, especially with animation fans. But instead, we got an entire episode of Astruc whining about how misunderstood he is.

And you know the footage used for the movie at the beginning? Remember that, because I have a huge rant about it saved for a later post.

For now, here’s an example of a creator appearing in his work done right.

youtube

467 notes · View notes

fact-dogsarehappiness · 3 years

Text

Because the arrowverse is run by a bunch of cowards who thought it would be fun to repeatedly punch Oliver Queen for like two decades, I’ve decided to introduce y’all to secret good arrowverse characters

First is Dick Grayson because I am a dumb slut and he’s my soulmate if he were a real person I would be dating him so hard you don’t even understand. Anyway, In the arrowverse, he gets taken in by Bruce when he’s 8 and becomes Robin two years later. Because Gotham was kinda meh about the whole Batman being real thing, it was very easy to keep Robin out of the press so most people didn’t know Robin even existed. When he was 16, he decided to become Nightwing (of course he has the fingerstripes what do you take me for), which B wasn’t too happy about because it put him in unnecessary danger, but Dick is too strong willed (read: hard headed) to listen to Bruce. Dick ends up going to college in Büldhaven after Jason dies because he just needed to get away. He’s continued being Nightwing, but he mostly does social work around the city. He runs a few shelters for at risk youth (one of them named after Jason) and volunteers often. He likes to make bad puns for two reasons: 1) he wants to make people smile, 2) he genuinely thinks they’re funny. Dick is a phenomenal hacker and an incredible acrobat. Dick typically wears ill-fitting jeans and some kind of dad-style button up shirt. English is not his first, second, or even third language (perks of growing up in a European circus). He is Romani and Romanian Orthodox, like his mom. He’s dating Wally West but no one knows except them because Wally’s always doing soul quest shit and Dick doesn’t think it’s anyone’s business

As if I wasn’t going to bring up Zatanna. I’m in love with her. Zatanna was always familiar with magic because of her father,Giovanni “John” Zatara, being a master of the art, but he didn’t want her involved with it so she was kept a safe distance from magic. However, you can’t keep someone as strong-willed as Zatanna away from something that interests her, so she decided to start studying magic behind her father’s back. When John realized that he couldn’t keep Zatanna away from magic, he started trining her himself. One day, Constantine called them in to assist on a case. After some unfortunate events, John Zatara ended up becoming Dr. Fate, leaving Zatanna on her own. Zatanna continued studying magic trying to find a way to separate her father from Dr. Fate, but nothing she found could help her. She primarily works freelance, but she will occasionally team up with other magic users. On a mission with Constantine, he told her about his work with the Legends, which convinced Zatanna to transition her freelance work into being more focused on helping people. The speed with which she is able to figure out backwards words is astounding to everyone who’s ever worked with her

Next is the queen that is Chloe Sullivan. Did she exist before Smallville? No. Is it still cowardice to only give her a tiny text message cameo in Supergirl thus implying she’s out there but never actually introducing me to her? YUP. Chloe’s known Clark since middle school. They met because she was doing school girl Nancy Drew investigation after hours and he was just out for a walk and somehow got pulled under a dumpster. She’s been known to do odd things in the name of journalism. Once, Clark walked into the newsroom at Smallville High and was greeted by a room of people doing handstands because Chloe needed to find out the average amount of time someone can hold a handstand is (“Don’t worry, Clark, I’m paying them for their services…except for Jake over there, I’m just mad at him”). On more than once occasion, Clark has had to hold her hips while she hangs off a building to get photographic evidence. She travels the world looking to expose as much corruption as possible. She’s gotten into a lot of trouble, but someone throwing you off a building doesn’t hold too much weight when your best friend is faster than a speeding bullet and can hear you call him from the other side of the planet. Chloe wears a battered up leather jacket that she’s had since high school every single time she leaves the house. She also has a full ear of piercings because she thought most people wouldn’t look at her and think “investigative journalist” upon seeing her. In addition to journalism, she pursues hacktivism, nothing that would put normal people in danger, but it would make rich and corrupt people more than squirm

Now we will discuss the life of my son (1/3), Connor Kent. I cannot believe that the Superman & Lois show runners went “We’re gonna give Clark a second son and his name’s gonna be Jordan………..I’m sorry, who’s Connor…why are you calling him a Kent” as if Connor isn’t my favorite super. Connor had a bit of a rough start with the whole being raised as a Luthor and being Lex’s clone thing (he was actually called Alexander at first). When his kryptonian DNA started showing, Connor started to look into the other half of his heritage, which led him to discovering just how bad Lex actually was. Choosing to embrace his kyrptonian side, he reaches out to Chloe to offer help with taking down Lex. After helping Chloe of expose Lex’s corruption, Connor went underground, including changing his from Alexander to Connor. He got the name Connor from reading the LuthorCorp files on him, where he’s referred to as “the Cognitional Neuroplastic Replicant” or “CNR” and he decided to just add a few vowels. He told Chloe that he needed to figure out who he was, and she gifted him her leather jacket when they parted ways. He reached out to Lena before any of the Supers because he was worried about how Clark would react to meeting his clone. Lena introduced him to Kara and the Super Friends and he started doing work with them. It turned out that he had nothing to fear about meeting Clark because Clark immediately adopted him and offered him a room at the farm and a kryptonian name (Kon-el), which he gladly accepted. He personalized the jacket by adding the giant red S on the back of it and a bisexual pride flag to one of the sleeves. The people of Smallville think Clark had him when he was 16 and he doesn’t try to change their minds because he thrives off drama

Time for my son (2/3) Damian Wayne who deserves the best okay. Damian was raised by Talia on the run from the LOA, as such, he speaks many languages and is a little murder bean. Eventually, he meets Jason because of his aunt Nyssa and they develop a brotherly bond. Jason brings Dami to the rest of the batfam and he soon becomes Robin. Jason and Damian watched “Food, Inc” in a hotel room one time, and Damian has refused to eat meat ever since. He might be fully human, but he does one hundred percent have a super power, and that power is puppy eyes. The kid can get anyone to do whatever he wants using his gosh darn puppy eyes and he knows full well the fam is wrapped around his finger. This is how he ends up adopting two dogs, three cats, a cow, a turkey, and a demon bat. Damian becomes Robin when he realizes that the entire family uses their training to better the city so maybe he should try it out too. Dick convinced him to try extracurricular activities that had nothing to do with the stuff in their basement, so he joined the art club at school, which no one saw coming. He gives people sketches of them for birthdays. Damian values his family above all else. Jason taught him the value of a chosen family and he decided he would do anything to protect his

We talking about Barbara Gordon now babey. Barbara’s first night out as Batgirl happened when she was 15. No one asked her to, but she’s more stubborn than Bruce so no one was able to stop her either. She was Batgirl until she was 21, which is when the Joker broke out of Arkham and paralyzed her (this is what leads arrowverse!Bruce to kill the Joker and like good for them). After this, she shifted into her work as Oracle. Her friends tried to convince her to take a step back after the incident, but against, stubborn. As Oracle, she does freelance tech support for different hero groups. (By “groups” I mean that whoever the resident tech person is calls her when they’ve hit a wall because they all know each other from tumblr.) Babs is a librarian when she’s not hacking into government servers. She likes the quiet. She helped hook Jason up with a job in the same library district but their libraries are on opposite sides because Barbara thought it would be good to give them as much reach across the area as possible (“There are more ways to help people than just punching bad guys, Jason”)

Another one of the queens that could stomp on me, let’s talk about Diana Prince. And by association, Donna Troy and Cassie Sandsmark. This is important to me, but it’s one’s gonna be short because there’s not much to get into here. Diana is seeing Helen of Troy. Donna and Cassie are their daughters. When Helena tells Diana about the Legends and what they did for her, Diana decides to try her hand at being a hero as well and becomes Wonder Woman. Eventually, Donna decides to join her and Cassie follows soon after. Diana works at a museum for shits and giggles

The final installment of this joke, my son (3/3) Tim Drake. Tim started living with Bruce when he was 8 (which was during the time Jason was Robin) because the Drake’s were bad parents. When they would go on business trips, Tim would be left alone for weeks at a time, which is not good for a literal child to be going through. An incident at Drake Manor cause the authorities to become aware of Tim’s situation and his parents were convicted of criminal neglect. Because Bruce already knew Tim, he offered to take him in. After Bruce disappears (when Tim’s 11), Tim and Alfred move to England. Tim goes back to Gotham when he’s 17. Tim was never Robin, but instead taught himself how to use computers. Using the pseudonym RedRobin as a hacker, Tim offers help to anyone who might need it, the same way Barbara does as Oracle. Tim also participates in hacktivism. He meets Chloe when they’re both gathering information on the same person. Through Chloe, Tim meets Connor and they quickly become inseparable. Tim does eventually start going out into the field as Red Robin alongside his family, but he prefers to be at the computer when possible

Can we talk about Tess Mercer? I wanna talk about Tess Mercer. Look, I know that Tess and Lena are supposed to be the same person, but what if they weren’t? What if Tess was Mercy, hear me out. Tess began working for LuthorCorp after she finished getting a masters in business and was very quickly promoted to Lex’s right hand when people started to realize just how good she is at her job. Mercy was a nickname she was dubbed ironically for being merciless. There was nothing LuthorCorp was doing that Tess didn’t know about, including Cadmus’s experiments in DNA replication. Tess was placed in charge of Connor’s education/training when he was young. Eventually, Tess started seeing Connor as a child and not a project and she decided she didn’t want him growing up in a glorifies cell anymore. She was the one who told Connor about his full family tree and she left clues to help him find Chloe. When Chloe’s information on Lex went public and he was brought to court, Tess was a surprise witness against Lex. She helped the prosecution compile hard evidence. When Lena took over the company and changed it to L Corp, Tess helped the company transition by ensuring employees had benefits and security. Eventually, she left L Corp to pursue opportunities elsewhere, but Lena still has her number and they meet up for coffee once a month. Tess might not fight crime, but she does take out corruption within the companies she works for because she’ll be damned if she gets dragged down fo something she didn’t do

The man, the myth, the (urban) legend, it’s Jason Todd! Jason started living with Bruce when he was 11. He got unalived by the Joker when he was 14 and he was actually kind of, sort of dead for a year before the LOA brought him back. Ra’s brought him back to train him as a weapon against Bruce because he was mad about the whole Bruce being the father of his grandson thing. Nyssa was assigned to train him, and so they have a very aunt-nephew relationship. When Nyssa left the League, she took Jason with her. She contacted Sara to help Jason learn how to control the Lazarus Pit Roid Rage. His time with Sara helped him to resolve the issues he had with Bruce, and he let go of a lot of his anger. Eventually, they met up with Talia and Damian, but that’s for another time. When he gets back to Gotham, he does operate as Red Hood, but it’s more to scare crime lords than to taunt Bruce. He’s working to fight off the gangs in Crime Alley, where he grew up, so other kids can have a chance at a better childhood than he had. He revealed his identity to his family immediately because he missed them, but he doesn’t officially become legally alive again until a few years later. Before being legally alive, he volunteered at shelters and community centers in Crime Alley. After being able to legally apply for a job, he becomes a librarian at a local library where he allows anyone a haven when they need it. When not crime lording, fighting crime, or studying library sciences, Jason spends his time cooking and reading. He helps Alfred with the food for family dinners. The other batboys like to use his copies of books for assigned readings because he has the best notes. He is more than aware of these facts and uses them to his advantage

41 notes · View notes

missbrunettebarbie · 3 years

Note

Saw your Bridgerton ranking and it's probably one of the few times that I see Sophie above Kate and Penelope, probably because those 2 are more relatable than Sophie

Nonnie, dear, I've long accepted that my opinions are not the Bridgerton fandoms opinions.

I didn't dislike Kate, tho her ship with Anthony killed almost all the warm feelings I've had for her, but Penelope will never, ever be a character I like. IMO, she was a gossip and a coward and most of the time, she was two-faced too. And maybe, maybe, I could have tolerated her more if her book wasn't the most boring historical romance novel I've ever read. How did her fans manage to pay attention to that dull piece of writing?!

Anyway, my rankings are purely subjective. And when it comes to my 4 favourite female characters (Hyacinth, Sophie, Lucy and Francesca) it was very hard to rank them so I asked myself "Who do I feel more protective of?" and Sophie came in at #2.

LMAO at Kate and Penelope being more relatable than Sophie. I didn't feel like they were relatable at all? Except in the begining when I felt like Kate's concerns about Anthony marrying Edwina were justified and everyone else were idiots for thinking she was irrational and jealous. Then of course, she fell for Anthony herself, pretty much proving those people right. Other than this, Kate and Penelope were a run-of-the-mill 'underdog' that's actually super privileged once they stop wallowing in self-pity.

For me, Sophie will forever be above them even if her taste in men is also horrible. This woman made Violet Bridgerton bearable to me! And her cameo in Eloise's book was its one saving grace. Sophie is a miracle worker.

#answer #my thoughts #bridgerton #bridgerton thoughts #sophie beckett #anti penelope fethearington #anti kate sheffield #it's not really anti #esp not anti kate #but jic #anyway i realize this might seem super mean to them #but the way the most interesting female characters are overlooked in this fandom #makes me so angry

8 notes · View notes

yoonjinkooked · 3 years

Text

CHEMISTRY | Run (2)

PART 2 - RUN

SERIES MASTERLIST

DRABBLE SERIES, TONS OF SHORT LITTLE CHAPTERS. WILL BE UPDATED OFTEN CAUSE HOSEOK IS THE #1 SOURCE OF MY PAIN

Pairing: Hoseok / Reader

Rating: 18+

Genre: FWB, university AU

Warnings: cursing, avoiding emotions and responsibility, future smut, Hoseok just makes a cameo in this one

Word count for this part: 2K

Summary: After a few years of being immune to Jung Hoseok’s charms, you suddenly fall into them, head first. All it takes is one night, too much alcohol and a lot of balls.

“Rise and shine, you drunk idiot,” are the words with which Seokjin greets you. The massive headache that you are suffering makes his voice sound 20 times louder than it really is, which is not your favorite way of starting hangover Sundays. Despite knowing that he won’t be deterred from waking you up, you still keep your eyes closed, hoping that today is a day of miracles and Seokjin decides to give you a break. He doesn’t - instead he grabs a hold of the ankle of your left foot and starts shaking it left to right, trying to shake you awake. “Come on, you’ve been out the whole day, I was scared you were dead. Get your ass up, take an aspirin and be an adult.”

“That sounds like a plan,” your voice is worn out, a tell-tale sign that you had spent last night yelling into someone’s ear. “God, why did you let me drink this much? You should have forced water down my throat,” you grunt as you struggle to get yourself into a seated position - you don’t fall back and the room is not spinning. So far, so good.

“Oh, I was planning on doing that,” Seokjin grins down at you, not looking the least bit hungover - genes, he’d tell you with a proud look on his face. “But by the time I returned from the kitchen, you already had Hoseok’s tongue down your throat.”

And then, you remember. Boy oh boy, do you remember. Seokjin laughs at you, amused by your expression as realization sets in. You’ve hooked up with Hoseok. You’ve made out with Hoseok. And you did, in fact, sit on his dick, just like you’ve wanted to. Luckily for you, you were both fully clothed. Seriously, lucky you - if you remember anything in detail, it’s that you weren’t alone.

“Everyone saw us last night, didn’t they?” you ask, sighing when Seokjin nods immediately.

“Everyone. I mean, you were hardly being shy about it, jumping his bones in the middle of the living room,” Seokjin reminds you how straightforward, perhaps even pushy, you were with Hoseok. Both before and after the kissing had started. “For what it’s worth, he wasn’t complaining.”

“I have no idea what had gotten into me,” you admit, trying to recall when, if ever, you’ve thought of Hoseok as more than a friend. And you did not - he was always a friend, that good looking friend that you wouldn’t even consider as a possible hook up option. Your brain had short-circuited last night, and although surprising, it isn’t completely unfounded.

“Well, Hoseok did not, I can assure you,” Seokjin is laughing his ass, his expression softening a bit when he notices just how uncomfortable you are with his teasing. “Come on Y/N, don’t overthink this. You’re both single and hot. You were horny and he was stoned and happy to help. Making out with him once won’t change your friendship, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Yeah, in theory,” you mumble, knowing already that the next time you see Hoseok, you will feel very awkward. Maybe he won’t and that saves the day? It’s a possibility, but you’re not almighty and situations like these tend to turn you into an awkward mess of a person.

“You’ve made out with Jimin before and you’re still close,” Seokjin shrugs.

“Yeah, but that’s different. That’s Jimin. We did it jokingly, more than anything else,” you shake your head, knowing, remembering that whatever last night was, it was different. “I have no clue what happened. One second he was there, dancing, minding his own business and the next I just… had this strong urge to kiss him.”

“Well, at least you’re a go-getter,” Seokjin laughs at your glare, still refusing to accept this as a possible issue in the making. “Come on, I didn’t walk all the way to your place for therapy hour. You’re nursing a hangover and we need coffee. When you have enough caffeine in your system, you’ll remember that Hobi is the chillest guy on the planet and that your worries are completely baseless. It can be awkward for a week or two but you’re both grown adults, right?”

“Right,” you agree, choosing to hold onto that thought. You’re not kids or horny teens - it’ll be okay. A few inside jokes, a couple of days of awkwardness and a lifetime of teasing from your mutual friends - nothing you can’t handle. No harm, no foul. It’ll all be hilarious in a week or two.

“You’re acting weird,” Jungkook’s statement makes you freeze, the breakfast burrito in your hands inches away from your mouth. After years of being friends with him, it shouldn’t be a surprise when Jungkook says the most random things at the most random times, but somehow, it still is.

“No, I’m not,” you deny.

“You are,” Jungkook nods, as if he is confirming it with himself. “You’re all jumpy. If I didn’t know you any better, I’d think you’re on the run from the law,” he laughs at his own joke, before suddenly stopping to fix you with a suspicious look. “You’re not on the run, right?”

“No Jungkook, I’m not hiding from the cops. I’m not even halfway through my first coffee.”

“She’s just hiding from Hobi.”

You glare at Namjoon from across the table. First of all, his assumption is rude. Second of all, it is absolutely correct. Well, you weren’t exactly actively avoiding Hoseok, but you also weren’t volunteering to spend time at places where you knew he’d be. Instead, you have spent the past few days occupying yourself with random and not so random tasks and obligations, all while trying not to think about how he’s a good kisser. Or how good he smells. Or how firmly his hands gripped your waist that night. Nope. Not going to think about it.

“Why would she hide from Hobi?” Jungkook is confused.

“I’m not hiding from Hobi,” you tell him, before turning to give Namjoon a pointed look. “I’m not hiding from Hobi,” you repeat in a warning tone - it’s clear that you don’t want to talk about it.

“Perfect,” Namjoon offers you an angelic smile. “Then you won’t have a problem with him joining us? I mean, he’s already walking our way,” he adds, looking over your shoulder.

Your knee jerk reaction is very literal - a sudden movement leads to a loud bang, a whine and you clutching onto your right knee that you’ve just hit against the table in a lame attempt of making a run for it. Panicked, you turn around to check if Hoseok had seen this, only to realize that he is nowhere to be seen. The shit eating grin on Namjoon’s face when you look back at him is confirmation enough. “I hate you,” you deadpan as he keeps on laughing at you.

“Why are you like this,” Jungkook asks you as you rub your knee, still very much in pain. “Is it because you made out last weekend?” he interrogates you before chugging on his yogurt.

“Maybe,” you reluctantly admit, since you were so obvious there was no use in denying it. “I know it doesn’t make much sense but it’s just… weird.”

“You’re being overdramatic, as usual,” Namjoon chuckles. In moments like these, you wonder why you’re still friends with the guy. Sure, he can be charming, nice and helpful, but he can also be a smartass and act all high and mighty, just like he is doing now. “Not that you would know, since you’re hiding from the guy, but Hoseok is not avoiding you. The situation isn’t weird - you are.”

“If I wanted therapy, I’d pay for a professional,” you snap.

“I’m on Y/N’s side here,” Jungkook pauses to swallow his food before continuing. “We can tease and joke, we always do that but we shouldn’t invalidate her feelings. If she is feeling awkward, she has every right to feel that way. Don’t invalidate her feelings, Joon,” he ends his speech with a little worried pout, making himself look at least 5 years younger.

“Have you been watching Dr. Phil again?” Namjoon asks him.

“Hey!” you jump in Jungkook’s defense immediately. “Don’t be an ass - he has a point and he is being nice. I didn’t ask for your opinion, which you generously offered anyways. Hoseok’s feelings about this have no affect on me - I’m feeling awkward and I’d rather push said awkwardness under the rug for the time being.”

“Unlike Mr. Smarty Pants Architect who actually does watch Dr. Phil, I’m the only psych major sitting at this table,” Jungkook starts and you laugh at the not so subtle drag directed at Joon. “It’s my duty as your friend and a future therapist to say that the tactic you’re turning to is not healthy and will likely cause more trouble. But,” he emphasizes, noticing that you have already opened your mouth to complain. “It’s your choice. You know what you’re doing and why you’re doing it.”

“Oh, so you’re saying that her acting like the two of them have divorced after 20 years of marriage instead of… exchanging saliva is valid?”

“Stop!” you glare at Namjoon. “You’ve heard Jungkook – my feelings are valid.”

“You’re a coward and you know it,” Namjoon laughs at you. He’s not completely wrong – you are a coward, but you also have your reasons. “You were making out – it’s not the end of the world.”

“Yes, but it’s not a random dude we’re talking about here! It’s... Hoseok!” you whisper his name, as if someone other than the two of them could actually hear you say his name in the crowded and incredibly noisy university cafeteria.

“All the more,” Joon widens his arms in exasperation. “Hobi is not an ass. He’s not going to make it worse, he’ll probably laugh about it, but seeing as you’ve been playing hide and seek, you won’t have a chance to. The longer you wait, the harder it will be once you can no longer avoid him. And honestly, the time is around the corner because I have no idea how you plan on skipping Yoongi’s birthday party.”

As if you needed a reminder of that. There is no way in hell that you can make up an excuse big enough to avoid going to Yoongi’s party - a family emergency wouldn’t work, not when this is your closest group of friends. You’ll have to be there, Hoseok will absolutely be there and you have three whole days to get your shit together.

“I’ll do my shit at my own time,” you conclude proudly, knowing that you will figure it out and it won’t be because of Namjoon’s impromptu intervention.

“Um… Y/N,” Jungkook lets out a nervous laughter. “I’m not so sure about that. Hobi’s walking towards us, right now.”

“I’m not falling for that again,” you wave your hand in dismissal, the pain that you are still feeling in your right knee reminding you of Joon’s failed attempts to trick you.

“He’s really not lying,” Namjoon sips on his coffee sassily, the slurping sound coming from his straw making you want to throw something at him. But there’s something about the cocky look on his face that makes you realize that he’s not joking this time. Not to mention that Jungkook, unlike Joon, is an actual sweetheart of a person who would not lie to you just to spite you. Gulping, you decide to risk and check.

And sure enough, as you turn around you can see Hoseok just a few tables away, smiling at the three of you – ripped jeans, white shirt, green snapback and that stupid, blinding smile. For a second, only for a second, your eyes meet and before either one of you can make a face or react in any way, you are standing up and this time around, your knees are safe.

“I have to go,” you grab your bag and phone and speed walk before anyone can tell you anything. You can hear Jungkook yell after you, but you’re already a few tables away from them, walking towards safety as fast as you can.

Was it stupid? Yeah, probably. Was it obvious? Painfully. But fight or flight kicked in and up up and away you went.

#jhope smut #hoseok smut #jhope fanfic #hoseok fanfic #jhope drabble #hoseok drabble #bts au #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts scenario #hoseok fwb #hobi fwb #hobi smut #jhope scenarios #jhope au #hoseok x reader #hoseok x oc

57 notes · View notes

silent-era-of-cinema · 4 years

Text

John Gilbert (born John Cecil Pringle; July 10, 1897 – January 9, 1936) was an American actor, screenwriter and director. He rose to fame during the silent film era and became a popular leading man known as "The Great Lover". His legendary breakthrough came in 1925 with his starring roles in The Merry Widow and The Big Parade. At the height of his career, Gilbert rivaled Rudolph Valentino as a box office draw.

Gilbert's career declined precipitously when silent pictures gave way to talkies. Though Gilbert was often cited as one of the high-profile examples of an actor who was unsuccessful in making the transition to sound films, his decline as a star had far more to do with studio politics and money than with the sound of his screen voice, which was rich and distinctive.

Born John Cecil Pringle in Logan, Utah, to stock-company actor parents, John Pringle (1865–1929) and Ida Apperly Gilbert (1877–1913), he struggled through a childhood of abuse and neglect, with his family moving frequently and young "Jack" having to attend assorted schools throughout the United States. When his family finally settled in California, he attended Hitchcock Military Academy in San Rafael. After he left school, Gilbert worked as a rubber goods salesman in San Francisco, then performed with the Baker Stock Company in Portland, Oregon, in 1914. He subsequently found work the following year as a stage manager in another stock company in Spokane, Washington, but he soon lost that job when the company went out of business.

After losing his stage job in 1915, Gilbert decided to try screen acting, and he quickly gained work as a film extra through Herschell Mayall. Gilbert first appeared in The Mother Instinct (1915), a short directed by Wilfred Lucas. He then found work as an extra with the Thomas Ince Studios in productions such as The Coward (1915), Aloha Oe (1915), Civilization (1915), The Last Act (1916), and William Hart's Hell's Hinges (1916).

During his initial years in films, Gilbert also performed in releases by Kay-Bee Company such as Matrimony (1915), The Corner (1915), Eye of the Night (1916), and Bullets and Brown Eyes (1916). His first major costarring role was as Willie Hudson in The Apostle of Vengeance, also with William S. Hart.[6] Viewed by studio executives as a promising but still "juvenile" actor at this stage of his career, Gilbert's contract salary was $40 a week ($940 today), fairly ample pay for most American workers in the early 1900s.[7] Gilbert continued to get more substantial parts at Kay-Bee, which billed him as "Jack Gilbert" in The Aryan (1916), The Phantom (1916), Shell 43 (1916), The Sin Ye Do (1917), The Weaker Sex (1917), and The Bride of Hate (1917). His first true leading role was in Princess of the Dark (1917) with Enid Bennett, but the film was not a big success and he went back to supporting roles in The Dark Road (1917), Happiness (1917), The Millionaire Vagrant (1917), and The Hater of Men (1917).

Gilbert went over to Triangle Films where he was in The Mother Instinct (1917), Golden Rule Kate (1917), The Devil Dodger (1917) (second billed), Up or Down? (1917), and Nancy Comes Home (1918). For Paralta Plays, Gilbert did Shackled (1918), One Dollar Bid (1918), and Wedlock (1918) and More Trouble (1918) for Anderson, but the company went bankrupt.[7] He also was cast in Doing Their Bit (1918) at Fox and then returned to Triangle for The Mask (1918). Gilbert also did Three X Gordon (1918) for Jesse Hampton, The Dawn of Understanding (1918), The White Heather (1919) for Maurice Tourneur, The Busher (1919) for Thomas Ince, The Man Beneath for Haworth, A Little Brother of the Rich (1919) for Universal, The Red Viper (1919) for Tyrad, For a Woman's Honor (1919) for Jess Hampton, Widow by Proxy (1919) for Paramount, Heart o' the Hills (1919) for Mary Pickford, and Should a Woman Tell? (1919) for Screen Classics.

Maurice Tourneur signed him to a contract to both write and act in films. Gilbert performed in and co-wrote The White Circle (1920), The Great Redeemer (1921), and Deep Waters (1921). As a writer only, he worked on The Bait (1921), which starred and was produced by Hope Hampton. For Hampton, Gilbert wrote and directed as well, but he did not appear in Love's Penalty (1921).

In 1921, Gilbert signed a three-year contract with Fox Film Corporation, which subsequently cast him in romantic leading roles and promoted him now as "John Gilbert". The actor's first starring part for the studio was in Shame (1921).[10] He followed it with leading roles in Arabian Love (1922), Gleam O'Dawn (1922), The Yellow Stain (1922), Honor First (1922), Monte Cristo (1922), Calvert's Valley (1922), The Love Gambler (1922), and A California Romance (1922). Many of the scenarios for these films were written by Jules Furthman.

Gilbert returned temporarily to Tourneur to costar with Lon Chaney in While Paris Sleeps (1923). Back at Fox, he starred in Truxton King (1923), Madness of Youth (1923), St. Elmo (1923), and The Exiles (1923). The same year he starred in Cameo Kirby (1923), directed by John Ford, co starring Jean Arthur. He went into The Wolf Man (1923) with Norma Shearer, not a horror film, but the story of a man who believes he murdered his fiancée's brother while drunk. Gilbert also performed in his last films for Fox in 1924, including Just Off Broadway, A Man's Mate, The Lone Chance, and Romance Ranch.

Under the auspices of movie producer Irving Thalberg, Gilbert obtained a release from his Fox contract and moved to MGM, where he became a full-fledged star cast in major productions. First starring in His Hour (1924) directed by King Vidor and written by Elinor Glyn his film career entered its ascendancy. He followed this success with He Who Gets Slapped (1924) co-starring Chaney and Shearer and directed by Victor Sjöström; The Snob (1924) with Shearer; The Wife of the Centaur (1924) for Vidor.

The next year, Gilbert would star in two of MGM's most critically acclaimed and popular film productions of the silent era: Erich von Stroheim's The Merry Widow and King Vidor's The Big Parade.

Gilbert was assigned to star in Erich von Stroheim's The Merry Widow by Irving Thalberg, over the objections of the Austrian-American director. Von Stroheim expressed his displeasure bluntly to his leading man: "Gilbert, I am forced to use you in my picture. I do not want you, but the decision was not in my hands. I assure you I will do everything in my power to make you comfortable." Gilbert, mortified, soon stalked off the set in a rage, tearing off his costume. Von Stroheim followed him to his dressing room and apologized. The two agreed to share a drink. Then Gilbert apologized and they had another drink. The tempest subsided and was resolved amicably. According to Gilbert, the contretemps served to "cement a relationship which for my part will never end."

The public adulation that Gilbert experienced with his growing celebrity astounded him: "Everywhere I hear whispers and gasps in acknowledgment of my presence... he whole thing became too fantastic for me to comprehend. Acting, the very thing I had been fighting and ridiculing for seven years, had brought me success, riches and renown. I was a great motion picture artist. Well, I’ll be damned!"

Gilbert was next cast by Thalberg to star in the King Vidor's war-romance The Big Parade (1925), which became the second-highest grossing silent film and the most profitable film of the silent era. Gilbert's "inspired performance" as an American doughboy in France during World War I was the high point of his acting career. He fully immersed himself in the role of Jim Apperson, a Southern gentleman who, with two working class comrades, experiences the horrors of trench warfare. Gilbert declared: "No love has ever enthralled me as did the making of this picture...All that has followed is balderdash."

The following year, Vidor reunited Gilbert with two of his co-stars from that picture, Renée Adorée and Karl Dane, for the film La Bohème (1926) which also starred Lillian Gish. He then did another with Vidor, Bardelys the Magnificent (1926).

In 1926, Gilbert made Flesh and the Devil (1926), his first film with Greta Garbo. Gilbert first encountered Garbo on the set during filming of the railway station scene, and the chemistry between the two was evidently instantaneous. Director Clarence Brown remarked approvingly that he "had a love affair going for me that you couldn’t beat, any way you tried." Garbo and Gilbert soon began a highly publicized romance, much to the delight of their fans and to MGM.

He made The Show (1927) with Adoree for Tod Browning then did Twelve Miles Out (1927) with Joan Crawford and Man, Woman and Sin (1927) with Jeanne Eagels.

Gilbert was reunited with Garbo in a modern adaptation of Tolstoy's 19th-century novel, Anna Karenina. The title was changed to Love (1927) to capitalize on the real life love affair of the stars and advertised by MGM as "Garbo and Gilbert in Love."

Gilbert made The Cossacks (1928) with Adoree; Four Walls (1928) with Crawford; Show People (1928) with Marion Davies for Vidor, in which Gilbert only had a cameo; and The Masks of the Devil (1928) for Victor Sjöström.

Though officially directed by Edmund Goulding, Gilbert, though uncredited, was responsible for directing the love scenes involving Garbo. He was perhaps the only person in the industry whose "artistic judgment" she fully respected. As such, MGM approved of this arrangement.

Gilbert and Garbo were teamed for a third time in A Woman of Affairs (1928). His last silent film was Desert Nights (1929).

With the coming of sound, Gilbert's vocal talents made a good first impression, though the studio had failed to conduct a voice test. The conventional wisdom of the day dictated that actors in the new talkies should emulate "correct stage diction". Gilbert's strict adherence to this method produced an affected delivery that made audiences giggle, and not due to any particularity in Gilbert's natural speech. Indeed, the "quality of his voice compared well with that of co-star Conrad Nagel, regarded as having one of the best voices for sound."

Gilbert signed an immensely lucrative multi-picture contract with MGM in 1928 that totaled $1,500,000. The terms of the agreement positioned MGM executives Irving Thalberg and Nicholas Schenck, both sympathetic to the star, to supervise his career. Gilbert, however, frequently clashed with studio head Louis B. Mayer over creative, social and financial matters. A confrontation between the two men, one that became physical, occurred at the planned double-wedding of Garbo and Gilbert and director King Vidor and actress Eleanor Boardman. Mayer reportedly made a crude remark to Gilbert about Garbo, and Gilbert reacted by knocking Mayer to the floor with his fist.[24] While this story has been disputed or dismissed as hearsay by some historians, Vidor's bride Eleanor Boardman insisted that she actually witnessed the altercation.

In the all-star musical comedy The Hollywood Revue of 1929 (1929), Gilbert and Norma Shearer played the balcony scene from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, first as written, then followed with a slang rendition of the scene. The comic effect served to "dispell the bad impression" produced by Gilbert's original "mincing" delivery.

Audiences awaited further romantic roles from Gilbert on the talking screen. The next vehicle was the Ruritanian romance His Glorious Night (1929), directed by Lionel Barrymore. According to reviewers, audiences laughed nervously at Gilbert's performance. The offense was not Gilbert's voice, but the awkward scenario along with the overly ardent love scenes. In one, Gilbert keeps kissing his leading lady, (Catherine Dale Owen), while saying "I love you" over and over again. (The scene was parodied in the MGM musical Singin' in the Rain (1952) in which a preview of the fictional The Dueling Cavalier flops disastrously.)

Director King Vidor speculated that the late Rudolph Valentino, Gilbert's main rival for romantic leads in the silent era, probably would have suffered the same fate in the talkie era had he lived. Gilbert's inept phrasing, his "dreadful enunciation" and the "inane" script as the genuine sources of his poor performance, that drew "titters" from audiences.

The persistent myth that John Gilbert had a "squeaky voice" that doomed his career in sound films first emerged from his performance in 1929 with His Glorious Night. It was even rumored that Louis B. Mayer ordered Gilbert's voice to be gelded by manipulating the sound track to give it a higher, less masculine pitch. Later, after analyzing the film's sound track, British film historian Kevin Brownlow found that the timbre and frequency of Gilbert's speaking scenes in His Glorious Night were no different than in his subsequent talkies. Brownlow also reported from that analysis that Gilbert's voice, overall, was "quite low". With regard to the alleged manipulation of Gilbert's footage by Mayer or by anyone else, television technicians in the 1960s determined that the actor's voice was consistent with those of other performers on the same print, casting doubt that any targeted "sabotaging" of Gilbert's voice occurred.

Film critic John Baxter described Gilbert as having "a light speaking voice", a minor defect that both MGM and the star "magnified into an obsession." Despite any conflicting opinions or myths surrounding the actor's voice, Mayer's lingering resentment and hostility toward Gilbert remained apparent, especially after MGM's star signed a new contract for six pictures at $250,000 each. Those ill feelings fueled additional speculation that Mayer deliberately assigned Gilbert bad scripts and ineffective directors in an effort to void the contract.

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer cast Gilbert in a film adaption of The Living Corpse by Tolstoy re-titled as Redemption (1929). The bleak atmosphere and maudlin dialogue presaged the disaster looming in the stars’ personal life and career. Gilbert's confident screen presence had vanished, while his use of the exaggerated stage diction that elicited laughs from the audience persisted. In one scene Gilbert declares ominously "I’m going to kill myself to let the whole world know what it has lost."[34]

MGM put him in a more rugged film, Way for a Sailor (1930) with Wallace Beery. He followed it with Gentleman's Fate (1931). Gilbert became increasingly depressed by progressively inferior films and idle stretches between productions. Despite efforts by studio executives at MGM to cancel his contract, Gilbert resolved to thwart Louis B. Mayer and see the six-picture ordeal through to the end.

Gilbert's fortunes were temporarily restored when MGM's production chief Irving Thalberg gave him two projects that were character studies, giving Gilbert an excellent showcase for his versatility. The Phantom of Paris (1931), originally intended for Lon Chaney (who died from cancer in 1930), cast Gilbert as a debonair magician and showman who is falsely accused of murder and uses his mastery of disguise to unmask the real killer.

Downstairs (1932) was based on Gilbert's original story, with the actor playing against type as a scheming, blackmailing chauffeur. The films were well received by critics and fans but failed to revive his career. In between, he appeared in West of Broadway (1931). Shortly after making Downstairs, he married co-star Virginia Bruce; the couple divorced in 1934.

Gilbert fulfilled his contract with MGM with a perfunctory "B" picture – Fast Workers (1933) directed by Browning. He left the studio in 1933, terminating his $10,000 a week contract.

Exhausted and demoralized by his humiliations at MGM and his declining success at the box office, Gilbert began to drink heavily, contributing to his declining physical and mental health.

Gilbert announced his retirement from acting and was working at Fox as an "honorary" director when, in August 1933, Gilbert announced he had signed a seven-year contract with MGM at $75–100,000 a picture. The reason was Greta Garbo insisted that Gilbert return to MGM to play her leading man in Queen Christina (1933), directed by Rouben Mamoulian. Garbo was top-billed, with Gilbert's name beneath the title. Queen Christina, though a critical success, did not revive Gilbert's poor self-image or his career. Garbo was reported to have dropped the young Laurence Olivier scheduled to play the part, but director Rouben Mamoulian recalled that Olivier's screen tests had already eliminated him from consideration.

Columbia Pictures gave Gilbert what would be his final chance for a comeback in The Captain Hates the Sea (1934) in which he gave a capable performance as "a dissipated, bitter [and] cynical" playwright. But the off-screen cast of heavy drinkers encouraged his alcoholism. It was his last film.

Biographer Kevin Brownlow's eulogy to John Gilbert considers the destruction of both the man and his career:

"The career of John Gilbert indicates that the star, and the person playing the star, were regarded by producers as separate entities, subject to totally different attitudes. Gilbert, as an ordinary human being, had no legal right to the stardom that was the sole property of the studio. When Gilbert, as an employee, tried to seize control of the future of Gilbert the star, the studios decided to save their investment from falling into the hands of rivals, [so] they had to wreck their property. Other properties – books, films, sets – could be destroyed with impunity. But the destruction of a star carried with it the destruction of a person…it seems somewhat abhorrent that it took such tragedies as that of John Gilbert to bring us our entertainment."

Gilbert was married four times. His first marriage, on August 26, 1918, was to Olivia Burwell, a native of Mississippi whom Gilbert had met after her family moved to California. They separated the following year and Burwell returned to Mississippi for a while. She filed for divorce in Los Angeles in 1921.

In February 1921, Gilbert announced his engagement to actress Leatrice Joy. They married in Tijuana in November 1921.[44] As Gilbert had failed to secure a divorce from his first wife and the legality of Gilbert and Joy's Mexican marriage was questionable, the couple separated and had the marriage annulled to avoid a scandal. They remarried on March 3, 1922. The marriage was tumultuous and, in June 1923, Joy filed for legal separation after she claimed that Gilbert slapped her face after a night of heavy drinking. They reconciled several months later. In August 1924, Joy, who was pregnant with the couple's daughter, filed for divorce. Joy later said she left Gilbert after discovering he was having an affair with actress Laurette Taylor.[47] Joy also claimed that Gilbert had conducted affairs with Barbara La Marr (with whom he had a romance before his marriage to Joy), Lila Lee and Bebe Daniels. Gilbert and Joy had a daughter, Leatrice Gilbert (later Fountain; 4 September 1924 – 20 January 2015). Joy was granted a divorce in May 1925.

In 1929, Gilbert eloped with actress Ina Claire to Las Vegas. They separated in February 1931 and divorced six months later. Gilbert's fourth and final marriage was on August 10, 1932, to actress Virginia Bruce, who had recently costarred with him on the MGM film Downstairs. The entertainment trade paper The Film Daily reported that their "quick" wedding was held in Gilbert's dressing room on the MGM lot while Bruce was working on another studio production, Kongo. Among the people attending the small ceremony were the head of MGM production Irving Thalberg, who served as Gilbert's best man; screenwriter Donald Ogden Stewart, whose wife Beatrice acted as Bruce's matron of honor; MGM art director and set designer Cedric Gibbons; and his wife, actress Dolores del Río. Bruce retired briefly from acting following the birth of their daughter Susan Ann; however, she resumed her career after her divorce from Gilbert in May 1934.

Before his death, Gilbert dated actress Marlene Dietrich as well as Greta Garbo. When he died, he had recently been slated to play a prominent supporting role in Dietrich's film Desire.

By 1934, alcoholism had severely damaged Gilbert's health. He suffered a serious heart attack in December 1935, which left him in poor health. Gilbert suffered a second heart attack at his Bel Air home on January 9, 1936, which was fatal.

A private funeral was held on January 11 at the B.E. Mortuary in Beverly Hills. Among the mourners were Gilbert's two ex-wives, Leatrice Joy and Virginia Bruce, his two daughters, and stars Marlene Dietrich, Gary Cooper, Myrna Loy, and Raquel Torres.

Gilbert was cremated and his ashes were interred at Forest Lawn Memorial Park, Glendale in Glendale, California.

Gilbert left the bulk of his estate, valued at $363,494 (equivalent to $6.7 million in 2019), to his last ex-wife Virginia Bruce and their daughter, Susan Ann. He left $10,000 to his eldest daughter Leatrice, and other amounts to friends, relatives and his servants.

For his contribution to the motion picture industry, Gilbert has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame at 1755 Vine Street. In 1994, he was honored with his image on a United States postage stamp designed by caricaturist Al Hirschfeld.

#john gilbert #silent era #silent hollywood #silent movie stars #golden age of hollywood #classic movie stars #classic hollywood #old hollywood #1910s movies #1920s hollywood #1930s hollywood

17 notes · View notes

myevilmouse · 4 years

Text

In Defense of The Rise of Skywalker

Or...how I learned to stop hating and enjoy a movie

Spoilers and random thoughts below the cut.

I hate the abomination that was/is The Last Jedi. Let’s get that out of the way. I’ve already explained the hundreds of reasons why, the biggest and most unforgivable being the character assassination of Luke “I call him Jake” Skywalker and the invalidation of every victory of the OT. I resent this making people lump me into a “gatekeeper” sect, or accuse me of racism (Rose was annoying and ruined Finn’s heroism, jeopardizing hundreds of lives for her own selfish reasons without building up a convincing romance and blah blah etc). It has nothing to do with her gender, race, or anything. It has to do with poor character development and inconsistent motivations/messages.

I’m also not a huge fan of The Force Awakens, mainly for its lack of originality and the treatment of Han/Leia, but otherwise I thought it was OK. I liked Finn, wanted him to become a Jedi, found Poe to be a worthy heir to our antihero mold. Rey left me indifferent and Kylo Ren was a temper-tantrum throwing teenager, but anyway...

Let’s keep that as background/context and not get bogged down.

Since they announced the title of this movie, I have been livid with rage. How dare they use my man’s name to sell their disgusting imitation of a beloved universe? I was certain, ever since it was announced, that Rey would take Luke’s surname, despite having treated him so horribly in TLJ, despite having done nothing to earn it, despite having spent far more time with Leia, so if anything a Solo/Organa family name would make more sense. It was just to sell tickets and I was furious.

I read all the spoilers. Worst fears: confirmed. I looked at leaked photos. I raged over the inanity of the plot and the sad conclusion to the Skywalker Saga, which in my mind will always end with ROTJ.

Still, I love Mark Hamill, and I decided to treat this film as a MH film. The completist in me required theatrical viewing. Rare to get our man in a cinematic release. So I went, ready to hate watch, prepared to dull the bitterness and betrayal with wine.

But….JJ Abrams directed a fix it fic. And it’s good. This film not just address the real injustices and horrible story decisions of TLJ, but also addresses some of the major problems of TFA too.

I tried to go in with an open mind, but obviously I had many preconceived notions, and already knew almost every single story point and character beat. I was ready to roll around in my hate and slam the abomination. I want to emphasize that I am one of those people that was COMPLETELY prepared to hate EVERYTHING about this.

There are flaws.

But there is so much that is great.

I really really liked it.

No one is more shocked than I at my own reaction. I was ready/willing/wanting/primed to hate everything about this. Please keep that in mind. Hahah and no one is paying me to write this post 😉

I decided to write this because I also read all the negative critical reviews online from the pro critics yelling FAN SERVICE. And I’m like…damn straight? Ever since George Lucas made Han shoot second, fandom has understood that we understand this franchise better than film executives. We aren’t concerned with adding an extra dewback or improving special effects. We love these films the way we first experienced them, and they cannot and should not be “improved” to the ultimate detriment of the brand.

I’m here to tell you that the critics are not being fair. The spoilers on reddit were true, but the movie works. Let’s accept, before we go further, that Abrams couldn’t entirely rewrite the mess that he stepped into/helped create. So I can’t defend the fact that Finn isn’t a Jedi yet or the mess that is the new Rebellion/failure of the old. I, like many fans, wish we had been given a different/better story from the beginning. Sadly, we were not.

That is something we don’t have to accept (I certainly don’t consider these films “canon” in my mind—Mara Jade forever!) but let’s approach this film in the spirit it seems to be intended: An attempt to address the very valid criticisms loudly voiced about the others in the trilogy, with the caveat that we are stuck with TFA and TLJ no matter how much we hate them.

First, the music is amazing, as we all knew it would be. The acting is stellar.

Some of the things Abrams “fixed:”

“Rey is perfect/Mary Sue/good at everything”. There is a conscious effort in this film to show her training, with Leia as her Master. There is a good scene foreshadowing her final struggle, where she strains to hear the voices of Jedi past and fails. There are several signs that she is not a Jedi yet, including how Palpatine talks about her, and perhaps my favorite, when she tells Leia she hasn’t earned Luke’s lightsaber.

Me: Damn straight you haven’t.

And Leia AGREES, keeping Luke’s weapon because Rey isn’t ready for it. She’s still learning.

Further proof of her non-Jedi status, when Rey is killed, she doesn’t join the Force. She is a corpse. On the other hand, Ben Solo, once redeemed, disappears as we would expect a good Jedi to do. A clear distinction between the two of them.

And speaking of Leia:

Leia’s character: TFA and TLJ Leia is weak and sends other people to fight, whereas our brave Princess from the OT is volunteering for suicide missions, grabbing weapons from the hands of her rescuers, and running into danger for a good cause. It always bothered me that she didn’t go after Kylo herself (or with Han). In this, we see her as a Jedi Master, training Rey, with her own lightsaber. Leia is once more a badass, true to her character. A legitimate Jedi who also joins the Force (although not sure why it took her so long post-mortem, that was weird).

Luke’s character: Hello, I am A LUKE FANATIC. The biggest sin of TFA and especially TLJ was this idea of Luke hiding out and becoming the disgusting, pessimistic coward he was shown to be. Abrams ignores this pretty much entirely, starting with the revelation that Luke was actually going on missions with Lando to hunt for a Sith artifact to help the Rebellion. Luke kept notes, he was busy and ACTIVE. He wasn’t giving up; he was leaving a trail to help anyone who followed. The best ‘fuck you’ in the whole movie was Luke catching Anakin’s lightsaber when Rey throws it away. The ultimate rejection of his TLJ characterization.

Luke’s conversation with Rey echoes very much the ROTJ “you must confront Vader” conversation. There are many echoes of ROTJ but given the restrictions on what we are working with, I accepted this parallel. Much like Luke had to face his unfortunate inheritance, so must Rey. It’s not terribly original, but these films aren’t.

I also loved the simple line “I was wrong” when Rey asks why he did what he did in TLJ. This to me is simply “Rian Johnson was wrong/The Last Jedi was wrong.” There is no excuse that is acceptable, but this is a filmmaker acknowledging an injustice, and I appreciated it. (Did I mention these films are not canon for me? They aren’t, just giving credit for this attempt.)

Han’s character: I hated SO MUCH how they turned Han into a failure in TFA. A buffoon, not even a good smuggler anymore, a failure as a father, a husband. When I heard he was going to be in this I was like HUH? But this “memory” of his father that Kylo Ren sees after Rey heals him and departs, after he’s lost his mother, is another attempt to redeem the injustice to Han’s character. Han is the one in the movie who brings Kylo Ren back to the Light, not Rey. It is a very short scene, but effective. The acting is poignant, with the “Dad” working for me. Maybe I’m a softie. But I appreciated this brief proof that Han Solo, in the end, didn’t suck as a father, and ultimately, even as a hallucination, inspired the love that saved his son.

Chewbacca got a medal: I said Abrams was fixing things in the sequels, but I admit I was choked up to see this fixit from A New Hope. Finally Chewie gets the medal he is LONG overdue.

Team dynamic with the new characters: Finally we understand why these people care about each other. They go on shared adventures, they have banter (and some good jokes, not the stupid bathos of TLJ), and there is finally some sense of camaraderie that was discarded in TLJ. There are several references to Rey’s “new family,” clearly referring to this band of Rebels, and it was far more compelling than in earlier films.

Finn’s Force Sensitivity: I, like many, desperately wanted Finn to be a Jedi. Since TFA, it seemed inevitable! I loved how he used the lightsaber, how he seemed to have Force abilities (that were never really explored). TLJ ignored that potential completely, sidelining him on that stupid Canto Bight quest and pulling him away from Rey. There are so many signs that he is destined to be a Jedi in this film, I was thrilled to see them. Knowing things without explanation, doing amazing things, sensing things, trusting his feelings, it’s another ‘fuck you’ in my opinion, to RJ for ignoring this former stormtrooper’s destiny in favor of overblown set pieces and pointless CGI theatrics. When he says, towards the end “I can feel it,” I wanted to fist pump. YOU GO BE A JEDI FINN! THE FORCE IS WITH YOU. Personally, I would have loved for Finn to be the main protagonist of all three films, but I appreciate us getting what we got, since we can’t get what we want.

Stuff that worked:

The Wedge cameo: Yeah.

Lando: Wonderful. His dialogue, especially at the beginning, does a lot to fix our view of Luke.

Kylo’s redemption: See above re: Han. I’ve seen a lot of criticism about the kiss. I get the whole “female character’s purpose is to validate the evolution of the male” criticism, but I want to point out a couple things about this. First of all, it’s not a “Reylo” kiss. Kylo is gone. This is well after Kylo is redeemed. He’s been of the Light for a while before this, it’s clearly Ben at this point. It’s also obvious Rey knows that, and like Luke forgave Vader for his abuse, she forgives Ben Solo for his. So I understand also the criticism that is making people puke about Rey kissing her abuser, but again, Luke sheds tears for the father he loves, who maimed and traumatized him. Star Wars is about redemption and forgiveness that accompanies it, and I don’t have the same issue with this. If she kissed KYLO without him being redeemed before he died, for example, I would be disgusted. This is not that.

The cinematography/pacing/story: So many critics and the spoilers made it sound like this was a convoluted mess. I went to see it with a non-native English speaker and neither of us had any trouble following the plot. Yeah, a lot happens, but it all is linear and consistent within the film.

The humor/dialogue: Felt way more Star Wars-y and better placed than the last two films.

The Jedi Helping Rey: As much as I thought I would hate this, it was really well done, largely, I think, due to the foreshadowing during her earlier training. When Palpatine says all the Sith live in him and we know what she’s gonna say but it still works SO WELL. I was rooting for her and I’ve never been a huge fan. But at that climactic moment, I was a believer.

Major flaws

Of course there are some. For me the most major:

A Jedi Strikes Not In Anger: In every single lightsaber battle (pretty sure, I only saw the film once), Rey is the first to strike. She always seems to be fighting from anger and with negative emotion. This is not at all Jedi-esque and I found it particularly jarring in her duels with Kylo Ren. This bothered me more than almost anything else in the film because it is never addressed. She fights ANGRY and she fights FEARFUL and then somehow when she’s supposed to strike down Palpatine, she has it in her to resist. This, above all else, makes me not like her as the “heir to the Jedi”. I thought it was a real problem, and makes her ultimate evolution at the finale less convincing.

Rey Skywalker: I get why they did it, but I stand by my earlier thoughts regarding taking the Solo or Organa name. I have nothing against adopted families. And I found it SLIGHTLY more palpable because since the Emperor refers to Ben as “the last Skywalker” and then since he transfers his entire life force into her, you can argue that she has “Skywalker” literally in her spirit now. OK fine. But I still don’t really think she earned it. She came CLOSER than I thought she would and I didn’t ultimately want to burn down the cinema as I expected I would want to.

Force Resurrection: No. Just no. This changes so much and makes so much of the earlier films moot. Why wouldn’t Anakin just resurrect Padme? Don’t get me started.

Other random new Force things: Like Force Ghosts touching shit. Yeah I know Obi Wan sat on the tree in Dagobah, I know, but we keep learning new and more powerful Force shit each film. Teleportation of objects (that lightsaber?!), astral projection, rapid healing, and now playing catch with your ghost friends. I get they are important to the story but it feels lazy. But my exception here was Luke catching the saber because FUCK YOU RJ. 😊

Redemption=Death: I wanted Kylo Ren to die for his sins too, but I recognize this strange thing we have going on in the GFFA that if a baddie goes good they die. It’s the equivalent of the horror movie “fuck and the killer gets you” trope. I didn’t necessarily mind Ben dying, but it seemed … lazy.

The final shot: It was a mistake to even touch this iconic moment. It wasn’t earned. Make your own legend/iconic moment and leave my farmboy his.

Something no one can fix: The sucky destinies of Luke Jake, Han, and Leia. They didn’t live happy lives, they didn’t see the end of tyranny, they all died with only the hope of success. I will never forgive the attempted destruction of the legacy of the OT (attempted cause it’s still how it all ends in my world), this disregard of the triumph of the Rebellion over the Empire, and I will never believe that the New Republic failed so completely and miserably. Bring on the EU/Legends and forget this shit.

Final thought: I went to this expecting the cinematic equivalent of a back alley abortion and instead I got what felt like an apology. An entertaining and polished and sincere apology. We deserved better, and I think the people who made this film realized that and did their best. TROS had to wrap up something that was divisive and imperfect and misguided, and tried as hard as it could, in my opinion, given what they were working with.

It was a good movie. Ambitious, with flaws, but I am glad I saw it, and I hope you will be too. <3 May the Force be with you.

#tros spoilers #the rise of skywalker spoilers #ix spoilers #my thoughts

30 notes · View notes

camelliacats · 5 years

Text

I feel it, too

Another random drabble.

Fic: "I feel it, too" [FFN] [AO3]

Pairings/Characters: Lucius Malfoy & Arthur Weasley, with cameos from Scorpius Malfoy, Rose Weasley, & Albus Severus Potter

Rating: K

Words: ~700

Additional info: gen fic, family, fluff, Maydayverse, Next Gen era, 3rd person POV

Summary: Lucius, Arthur, and a cauldron full of books.*Epilogue-compliant*

He knew who'd arrived before he'd even heard their voices. Lucius Malfoy frowned and rounded the corner, books being the only thought on his mind.

"I want new copies," a girl stated.

"Don't be selfish, Rose," a boy retorted. "We can save some money by buying used."

Rose growled at him. "Hush up, Al. I want my books to last a long time. And it's not as though we can't afford them, what with our parents practically running every part of magical law enforcement."

Lucius, in the meantime, groaned when he felt a tug on his leg. "Grandfather, are we done yet?" Scorpius asked. "Father said we could get ice-cream if we hurried up."

"And what did your mother say about that?" Lucius asked as he scanned his grandson's list and placed another book in his cauldron.

Scorpius grinned. "Mother and Grandmother are bickering about potion supplies while Aunt Daph is grabbing what I need. Ice-cream's just for us men."

He looked proud of himself, and Lucius couldn't fight a tiny, proud smirk from gracing his lips. Lucius placed one more tome in Scorpius' cauldron and rested a hand on the boy's head. "All right. Go find your father and have him pay, and we'll grab ice-cream while the others are distracted."

"Yes, Grandfather!"

Lucius watched Scorpius scamper off while he finished looking at the shelves. He rounded another corner, but he bumped into someone this time. The wizard took one glimpse—red hair and glasses—and pursed his lips. "Weasley."

Arthur did a double-take before his expression slightly soured. "Malfoy."

"That time of year again."

Arthur narrowed his eyes. "It is." He looked past Lucius, at the counter. "You have a grandson."

"I do." Lucius sniffed as a crimson-haired girl and a little Potter-lookalike approached Arthur, took one look at Lucius, and backed off. "Still an ever-growing brood, I see."

Arthur shrugged, but he fixed Lucius with a stare. "You don't have any more of Voldemort's things to stick in my family's cauldrons, do you?"

Lucius snarled. "Why, you—"

"…yeah, talking to Malfoy's dad…"

Both wizards glanced to the side, where they could see Rose and Al pointing their way. Molly, Hermione, and Ginny looked on with apprehension.

"Everything's fine," Arthur assured part of his family. "Just exchanging a…hello." That's right, just a hello, because there was nothing friendly about it.

The witches exchanged a look before ushering the kids down an aisle, and Lucius watched as an even younger girl with garnet hair and an even younger boy with light orange hair pulled up the rear, following Granger and the Weaslette like baby hippogriffs.

Arthur turned back to Lucius. "I suppose old habits die hard, eh?"

"Indeed," Lucius curtly replied.

"But…in the end," Arthur continued, "family matters most." He raised his eyebrows.

"I chose my son over him."

Arthur said nothing.

"I didn't run from battle because I was a coward. I wanted to live. I wanted my son to grow up and have a life and a family—I didn't want for him what I'd done for myself. I—" Lucius shut up, the words "made a mistake" on the tip of his tongue. Suddenly, the scars on his left arm from where he'd had the Dark Mark removed ached. "In the end, I realized that the cause wasn't everything."

Still Arthur said nothing, and it irked Lucius. Lucius was about to make a snarky remark when Arthur opened his mouth and said, "I think you've finally matured, Lucius."

The Malfoy grimaced.

"You seem to understand that blood matters—without it having to be pure." Arthur watched two of his grandchildren chat animatedly, and he smiled. "I think you, like me, would do anything for his family."

Lucius snorted. "Me, share the same mindset as you?"

Arthur chuckled. "I knew you'd agree. I feel the same, Lucius." He held out his hand.

Somewhat reluctantly, Lucius shook it. "Good day, Weasley."

"The same to you, Malfoy."

Lucius caught up with Draco and Scorpius outside Flourish and Blotts, and the thought struck him that maybe it hadn't been all that bad, running into Arthur Weasley…no, Weasleys were still abhorrent.

But family…family was not.

A random idea I had a while ago…wrote it while beginning to feel sick, typed it while I was sick, and posted it while starting not to feel sick anymore. So, how'd I do in my delusions? *lol*

Thanks for reading, and feel free to leave an anon/unsigned review via the FFN link or comment via the AO3 link at the top of the post, especially if you enjoyed this!

~mew

2017 note: *lol* Some interesting fics have come about when I've been delirious. X_X Anywho, I quite like this one; it's even canon-compliant! I guess. XD Not that I'd expect them to become friends, but I like Lucius and Arthur being nearly amicable for their families' sake.

#hp #harry potter #lucius malfoy #arthur weasley #no ships #<1000 #gen fic #family #fluff #maydayverse #next gen era #rated: G #3rd POV

3 notes · View notes

team-cap-for-the-win · 5 years

Text

The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that Clint should have died instead of Nat.

I got nothing against Clint, I like him a lot, but it would make a lot more sense to swap him with Nat.

First off, the implication of Nat "wiping the red off her lodger" isn't very good. She died for her sins? Her death meant she was finally forgiven? No! Nat's actions after her so called crimes are what counts. All the good stuff she did ever since the Avengers... does that mean nothing? Should Bucky die for his "sins"? I dunno, it just makes me uncomfortable to think of it this way. It implies that once you make mistakes, you can't fix them. Which is veeeeery fishy because guess which character gets away with literally everything and faces no consequences?

That's right, Tony. In the end he dies, yes, but unlike Nat, there are no implications like that. It is viewed as a selfless act. Everyone attends his funeral. Atleast he got a funeral. Nat didn't even get that and I hate that the biggest reaction we got was Hulk yeeting a bench. Atleast Clint and Steve had the decency to look sad and cry because they cared about her deeply. Unlike a certain someone who didn't even know if Nat had had any family.

Anyways, back to the main issue. While Nat spent those 5 years helping people, trying to hold her family - the Avengers - together, Clint went on a murderous rampage. Yes, he was grief-stricken, and he killed bad guys, and the main point of that was so that we could see Ronin, but it's still murder. We can see how much everyone had changed over the course of 5 years. The biggest changes are without a doubt Clint and Thor.

Which brings me to this: Thor's arc in Endgame atleast had a resolution. Hate him, love him, but don't deny that it had some structure. The purpose of it (besides that ill taste in comic relief) was to show that even when you're at your lowest point, you can pick yourself back up. You're still worthy. Plus, he got his closure with his mom. Throwing Loki into the bunch would maaaybe make it better, but this movie is full-packed anyways.

Now, what was Clint's arc about? Going on a rampage is okay and doesn't haunt you in any way? Getting something you want can be accomplished by someone else doing it for you? I dunno, to me, this was the weirdest part Endgame (yes, it surpasses that Russo cameo and the whole Bruce/Hulk thing), because I can't figure out what was the purpose of it. Why make him all edgy if you're not going to address the change? How did it serve his character? So many questions, man. Atleast fat Thor had a payoff and tbh he looked more like a viking so that was nice.

Clint's arc would wrap up nicely if he could sacrifice himself for his family. It would also be similar to Nat's wiping of the "red", but the focus would be on his family. Because that's what's most important to him. Clint undeniably lost the most in the Snap. Without question. He would be willing to do ANYTHING to get them back. If not with him, atleast back to life. All the focus on Clint in Endgame would have a payoff. Because that's another thing: Nat didn't have that much screentime in Endgame, died halfway through, and was mentioned only twice afterwards. This isn't okay. Her death felt undeveloped. Now, Clint - he had much more of an emotional turmoil in this movie. To me, it would make sense if it got topped off with his death. And maybe the directors would give the man a funeral. Who knows.

Lastly, this one is a bit more opinionated, because not everyone ships it, but. If the Russos weren't cowards and gave us a Romanogers throughout the course of the Avengers and the Cap movies, instead of that pointless Bruce and Sharon romance (how did that pay off in any way?), Steve's ending could be a lot different. More in character. The directors chickened out of Clintasha a long time ago, but I wouldn't have been surprised if after the five-year skip, Steve and Nat were a thing. (Besides the fact that Cevans and ScarJo played a lot together and have great chemistry!) Afterall, they have been with each other for a very long time. They led the Avengers together. Natasha let Steve go in CW despite the risk of breaking apart her family (which happened anyways). She found him and Sam throughout the gap between CW and IW and they were fugitives together. It doesn't even have to be romantic, ffs, just very close friends, but it would be great to see Steve finally move on, and thus complete his arc. Besides, come on! The "we should both get a life. You first" spiel would have been a perfect set up! Even if it wasn't a romantic pairing, I would still dig the hell out of them working together - they could become the new directors of Shield for all I care and that way it would put them away from the new movies. Sam would still have the Shield. Nobody would be bitching about abandonment. Hell, have Steve pass out during the final battle and get his closure with Peggy that way. Or when he returns from the time-travel, he tells them about his closure (Btw I love Steggy, but I don't like the way it went down. It went against Steve's arc). Or how about this - Steve and Nat both leave the main timeline and go on time adventures together. That would take them away from the future movies aswell, and they could return at any time, if the actors signed another contract. Boom, fixed your Endgame!

And lastly. This way, Nat could have led the female group-up scene and kicked ass on the frontiers, symbolizing her relevance as the first major female character in the MCU that paved the way for the others. She could even get to wield Mjolnir, symbolizing that the red had been wiped! Boom! Fixed your arc!

Oof, this went on longer than I thought it would have. Anyways, just my two cents. Wish it was something more along these lines, but eh the final product was fine - enjoyable, emotional experience in the cinema.

#endgame #a:eg #my opinion #natasha romanoff #clint barton #steve rogers #not anti endgame!#I still liked the movie a lot #but this has been grinding my gears for a while now #marvel #mcu #fix it #rant #my rant #this is too long oof #endgame analysis #character study

15 notes · View notes

chiseler · 5 years

Text

Beatrice Lillie: Get Her

When it is said that someone lives in their own world, it is often not meant kindly or admiringly, but Beatrice Lillie lived and worked very much in her own world like a child does at play, seemingly impervious to outside reaction or convention. If you “got” her no one was funnier, and in her heyday she was actually billed as “The Funniest Woman in the World,” all by herself. Why is someone funny, especially if you are not an easy laugher? Because of an element of surprise, or the swift introduction of something unexpected, and Lillie’s comic style was nothing but unexpected, aberrant, capricious.

She was born in Canada in 1894, and she started performing early with her mother and her sister Muriel. Lillie’s mother would sometimes sing an “art” song called “There Are Fairies at the Bottom of Our Garden,” and later on Lillie was persuaded to try the “Fairies” song for laughs, as can be seen in an appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show in 1952. When she sings, “And the queen, well can you guess who that may be?” the word “queen” comes out as “kuh-ween,” and Lillie is the ultimate in pansy flair here, using a feather fan as a self-delighted child would.

Lillie had her hair cut short in the 1920s and kept it that way, and she often did trouser roles on stage in the 1910s for her showman mentor André Charlot because most of the male actors were off fighting in World War I. On the cover of the album Thirty Minutes with Beatrice Lillie, she is turned to profile with this severe brush cut and looks very chic lesbian, but she had several male lovers. In 1920 she married a tall man named Sir Robert Peel, and so Lillie could call herself Lady Peel for the rest of her life, mainly for a gag. Peel was a gambler who put her deeply in debt by the time of his death in 1934, and so she had to keep working and commanding large fees on stage to pay these off. Her son with Peel, who was also very tall and good-looking and named Robert, died during World War II, and her anguish over this is made clear in her autobiography Every Other Inch a Lady, which was published in 1972.

Lillie appeared regularly in revues in the theater, and she made a film debut in Exit Smiling (1926), in which she plays Violet, a drudge-of-all-work behind the scenes in a repertory theater company who wants to play a vamp on stage and gets to dress up in male clothes to threaten the leading man of the troupe, played by swish expert Franklin Pangborn. The gender signifiers are all over the place here, and Lillie gets her laughs with some physical comic business and even gamely sells an unrequited love theme when Violet falls for a young actor (Jack Pickford).

Lillie did a sketch with Frank Fay in The Show of Shows (1929) where Fay keeps interrupting her as she tries to speak about a girl who was a “sailor’s delight,” and here she utilizes one of her sharpest weapons: the unexpected pause. Her lost feature Are You There? (1930) seems to survive only as a few songs without picture, but that was a perfect title to express her restless weirdness. It isn’t easy sometimes to get on Lillie’s wavelength in what remains of her work, but then that was always the case; you either “get” her or you don’t, and “Get her!” was her favorite camp phrase.

In the Bing Crosby picture Doctor Rhythm (1938) she plays Mrs. Lorelei Dodge-Blodgett, a society woman who does Lillie’s noted “One Dozen Double Damask Dinner Napkins” routine with Franklin Pangborn. At 44 here she is dry and naughty-ish and hard and oblivious, and some of her effects are clearly long-practiced and set, yet the result is fresh because she seems so easily bored and prone to yawns. She gets some of her biggest laughs by acting suspicious at random, which is why everything she said or that people said around her began to sound like a double entendre. Lillie often seems demanding, but demanding what?

Her face says, “Now, no nonsense!” and yet she is pure nonsense, and such purity can be more than a little intimidating. She wears “funny” clothes and carries a bent walking stick in Doctor Rhythm, but these are superfluous because it is Lillie herself who is bent. When Kenneth Tynan profiled her in the 1950s, she told him that maybe people laughed at her because of her nose, as if searching for a simple explanation. Tynan himself felt that Lillie wanted to do without language entirely, which is the point of her dinner napkin routine where she makes comic hay out of “danner nipkins” and “nanner dimkins.” It is easy to imagine Lillie playing with dolls for hours, or getting caught in the revolving door of a hotel and staying in there for a half hour because she liked it, just as Zelda and F. Scott Fitzgerald once did.

On Approval (1944) is her masterpiece, and it is shared with her co-star and director Clive Brook. On Approval is not just a film that Lillie is in, as her others are, but a real Beatrice Lillie film that seems to take its irreverent tone from her. It mines the recent past (the 1890s) for laughs, and it is high comedy, whereas Lillie herself was neither high nor low but somewhere off to the side. Her Maria Wislack makes jokes and waits for her laughs as Beatrice does in Much Ado About Nothing, and she keeps saying the non-word “Ho!” as an all-purpose exclamation until the film itself takes her up on it and becomes obsessed with it. Maria has a managing and bossy manner, but she is very silly underneath, and this is a strange combination.

The height of Lillie’s art on screen comes in the way On Approval has the 41-year-old Maria at the piano singing a song that begins, “I’m just 17, and I’ve never been” only to cut her off to show other cast members before going back to her singing “I’m just 17” twice, and then making us wait quite a while until she goes back to the piano and finally sings the whole first line: “I’m just 17, and I’ve never been, to any stately ball!” The visual nightmare towards the end of that film suits Lillie’s sensibility perfectly, especially when she is done up in Grecian garb and holding poses.

It seems a shame that Lillie didn’t make a few more films as a friend to screwball comedy heroines of the 1930s, or maybe an appearance or two in some Warner Brothers adventure movies of the 1940s (imagine Bea confronting Bogart) or some specialty cameos in Technicolor MGM musicals. She stuck to the theater and capped her career with a show called An Evening with Beatrice Lillie in 1952, for which she won a Tony award and which she toured in extensively. Lillie did many of her best songs here, including the very camp “Maud,” where she talks to a female friend about how she and their set are all “rotten to the core,” and the Ivor Novello ballad “There are Times,” which she sings fairly straight.

By the 1960s, Lillie’s wits were getting fuddled by Alzheimer’s disease, but she appeared as Madame Arcati in High Spirits, the musical of Noel Coward’s Blithe Spirit, and she was the wicked Mrs. Meers in the heavy-going musical hit Thoroughly Modern Millie (1967), where she is finally vanquished by another camp performer of a very different stripe, Carol Channing. Lillie lived for over 20 years more after that, but in decline, and she was cared for by her long-time friend and companion John Philip Huck, who died the day after she did in 1989.

Her memory has been perpetuated by Bruce Laffey, who wrote a book about Lillie and his friendship with her, and John Ellis, who has lovingly presented all manner of droll Lillie-ana on YouTube and elsewhere. The meaning of Lillie’s life and art might remain obscure or at least hard to pinpoint, but that’s the fun of her, and the danger too, for she had an edge that admitted only initiates for play.

by Dan Callahan

#Dan Callahan #Beatrice Lillie #The Chiseler #On Approval

2 notes · View notes

phantom-le6 · 3 years

Text

Film Re-Review - Star Trek: First Contact

Carrying on the re-reviews of the TNG films, it’s time to look in on the film many consider to be the best of the films focused on Picard’s crew, namely First Contact.

Plot (as given by Wikipedia):

Captain Jean-Luc Picard awakens from a nightmare in which he relived his assimilation by the cybernetic Borg six years earlier (shown in the television episode "The Best of Both Worlds"). Starfleet informs him of a new Borg attack against Earth, but orders the USS Enterprise-E to patrol the Romulan Neutral Zone so as to not introduce an "unstable element" to the fight. Learning that the fleet is losing the battle, the Enterprise crew disobeys orders and heads for Earth, where a single, damaged Borg Cube opposes a group of Starfleet vessels. The Enterprise arrives in time to save the crew of the USS Defiant which is being commanded by Lieutenant Commander Worf. After Picard hears Borg communications in his mind, he orders the fleet to concentrate its firepower on a seemingly non-vital section of the Borg ship. The Cube is destroyed after launching a smaller sphere ship towards the planet.

The Borg sphere generates and enters a temporal vortex. As the Enterprise is enveloped in the vortex, the crew briefly glimpses an Earth populated entirely by Borg. Picard realizes that the Borg have used time travel to change history, and orders the Enterprise to follow. The Enterprise arrives in the past, on April 4, 2063, the day before humanity's first encounter with alien life after Zefram Cochrane's historic warp drive flight. The Borg sphere fires on the planet; realizing that the Borg are trying to prevent first contact, the Enterprise crew destroy the sphere and send an away team to the Montana missile complex where Cochrane is building his ship, the Phoenix, to look for survivors. Picard sends Cochrane's assistant Lily to the Enterprise for medical attention, then returns to the ship and leaves Commander William Riker on Earth to make sure the Phoenix's flight proceeds as planned. The Enterprise crew sees Cochrane as a legend, but the real man is reluctant to assume his historical role.

Borg survivors invade the Enterprise, and begin to assimilate its crew and modify the ship, planning to use it to attack and conquer Earth. Picard and a team attempt to reach engineering to disable the Borg with corrosive coolant used in the warp core, but the android Data is captured and meets the queen of the Borg Collective, who gains his trust by giving part of him human skin. A frightened Lily seizes the captain but he gains her trust, and they escape the Borg-infested area of the ship by using the holodeck. Picard, Worf, and the ship's navigator, Lieutenant Hawk, stop the Borg from calling reinforcements with the deflector dish, but Hawk is assimilated. As the Borg continue to assimilate, Worf suggests destroying the ship, but Picard angrily calls him a coward and vows to continue the fight. Lily confronts the captain and, reminding him of Moby Dick's Captain Ahab, makes him realize he's acting irrationally. Picard activates the ship's self-destruct mechanism, orders the crew to abandon ship, and then apologizes to Worf. While the crew heads to escape pods, Picard remains aboard to rescue Data.

As Cochrane, Riker, and chief engineer Geordi La Forge prepare to activate the warp drive on the Phoenix, Picard confronts the Borg Queen and discovers she has grafted human skin onto Data, giving him an array of new sensations. She has presented this modification as a gift to the android, hoping to obtain his encryption codes to the Enterprise computer. Although Picard offers himself in Data's place, the android refuses to leave. He deactivates the self-destruct sequence and fires torpedoes at the Phoenix, but they miss and the Queen realizes Data betrayed her. Data ruptures a coolant tank, and the corrosive substance fatally dissolves the Borg's biological components. Cochrane completes his warp flight, and that night, April 5, 2063, the crew watches as Vulcans, attracted by the Phoenix warp test, land and greet Cochrane. Having repaired history, the Enterprise crew returns to the 24th century.

Review:

Back when I originally reviewed this film, I didn’t quite agree with the consensus of many that this film was somehow the high point of the cinematic run for Picard’s crew, but coming back to it several years later on the heels of watching and reviewing the whole preceding TV series, I’m re-considering my previous position. It’s certainly an improvement over the previous film Generations, in large part due to the writers not being constrained by a wish list of plot elements from the studio, as well as long-time Trek actor and director Jonathan Frakes being allowed to make his cinematic directorial debut. The films helmed by Frakes (who of course plays Riker in TNG) tend to be the best TNG films to me, which supports the idea that Trek films are best tackled by people who know Trek from having already worked with it.

Now annoyingly within the wider TNG timeline, First Contact is the third feature-length time-travel story; we had Picard time-hopping in the feature length series finale ‘All Good Things...’, then Picard and Kirk meeting via the Nexus and doing time travel that way in Generations, and now we have First Contact. However, the reason for the time travel this time has more than enough resonance to compensate for this kind of repetition, because this time we’re going back to the birth of Trek itself. TNG’s best villains the Borg go back in time, and they pick the moment in the franchise’s history where Zefram Cochrane makes his initial warp flight and triggers the eponymous first contact with the Vulcans.

Original series fans probably had some issues with how the film portrays Cochrane, due to the character having once appeared in that series, but as someone whose interest in Trek began with the Next Generation series, I don’t have that issue. In addition, I also tend to rail against how much Roddenberry hamstrung the earlier incarnations of Trek with his infamous rules of Trek, known by writers as the ‘Roddenberry box’. All too often, Roddenberry set the idealism of Trek too high, and at times probably didn’t think all of his concepts through (the no money one comes up in one scene), so I find it refreshing that this film took that character and made him flawed, suggesting the veneration of Cochrane within Trek is a kind of historical exaggeration of the man.

Of course, it’s largely thanks to actor James Cromwell that Cochrane comes across as a great character, and to be honest all of the cast perform their roles well across the three plot-threads of the movie. The first thread is an away team on Earth led by Riker helping Cochrane. Second is that as Borg begin to over-run the Enterprise, Picard begins to fall prey to his past trauma at their hands and has to be talked down from putting vengeance above the greater good, and third is Data’s arc with the Borg Queen. The last of these is interesting in that it brings Data a bit closer to his goal of becoming human by offering him the chance to take on flesh and experience physical sensation. It’s a great expansion on Data’s ‘Pinocchio’ arc within the series.

Picard’s arc used to be a bit non-sensical to me in terms of its timing, as Picard ran into the Borg a couple more times between his assimilation in the series and this film, but what I’ve realised after watching the show again is that actually it does make sense. Not because of the whole trap of the ‘Roddenberry box’, but because the circumstances of each story in the overall Borg narrative doesn’t really allow Picard’s trauma to really come back at him. After the follow-up episode to ‘Best of Both Worlds’ where Picard finally unburdens himself of the initial impact his assimilation had on him, he only faced any of the Borg twice, and in both cases, he dealt with one or more individualised Borg. First Contact is the first story since ‘Best of Both Worlds’ where the Borg collective itself is involved, and rather than being on some distant planet or being on their ships, they’ve decided to hit at Picard on his home ground.

In addition, the Borg just deal set-back after set-back to Picard and the Enterprise crew as the film goes on, which fuels his speech to Lily (played by Alfre Woodard) when he refuses to destroy the Enterprise;

“I will not sacrifice the Enterprise. We've made too many compromises already. Too many retreats. They invade our space and we fall back. They assimilate entire worlds and we fall back. Not again! The line must be drawn here... THIS far, NO further! And I will make them PAY for what they've done.”

I think this line speaks to everyone who at some time or another has been forced to compromise something in their lives to someone or something else. For Picard it’s having to give ground to a race of cyborgs who violated him, but this could just as readily apply to people seeking equality in the present day, who perhaps to compromise just to make progress or avoid being penalised for seeking equality. It could apply to people in relationships that are one-sided at best and abusive at worst, always having to give ground to be ok in the short-term. It’s not something that’s necessarily been with Picard all the time, but something that builds, and it takes the objective viewpoint of someone not of his era to call him on it and bring him back to the Starfleet officer he’s supposed to be.

This leaves the away team story to provide comic relief (the Deanna drunk scene is a great example), and when you look at the plot and the performance together with a fantastic score and the new-style Enterprise, it really is a great film. For the benefit of fans of wider Trek, the film even takes care to provide an explanation for the return of Worf, who after the previous films had become part of the main cast on Deep Space Nine, and we get cameos by Robert Picardo and Ethan Phillips of Voyager in the film as well.

Now discounting the fact this is the third time-travel story in a run as well as past quibbles I used to have with the film and don’t now, there’s not much I can say against First Contact. I’m a bit concerned that so many men claimed to be slightly aroused by the Borg Queen if the film commentaries I’ve watched are to be believed, but that’s more about the film’s viewers than the films and to each their own, I suppose. It’s also probably the most accessible film to an audience not versed in the Next Generation, though it requires some patience to reach the areas of exposition in the film that compensate for anyone not having that series knowledge to start with. So, this time round, I’m going to up the film’s score. Where Generations went down from 8 to 7 out of 10 on re-review, First Contact had risen like the Phoenix from 8 to 10 out of 10.

0 notes

yugirimistwalker · 6 years

Text

gray fly is pretty forgettable and unremarkable as an actual character but honestly his stand is pretty cool and threatening. theres really not much to say about him outside of his stand though so 3/10

again impostor captain tennille has like, no real personality, but his stand is also less remarkable than tower of gray so there’s even less to talk about here. it’s a shame because an aquatic stand has a lot of potential but it feels wasted especially considering how bullshit the actual fight is. 2/10

monky/10

really at this point none of the villains are remarkable (with the exception of kakyoin and polnareff and that’s because they become supporting characters) and the same goes for devo the cursed, but fortunately his stand DOES have its own personality, which is a shithead cursed doll who is also uncomfortably horny apparently. far from the best villain but i’d say this is the point where the fights start getting more interesting (for sdc at least). 6/10

rubber soul is a smug and extremely punchable dickhead but unfortunately there’s a later villain that pulls this off so much better. really he only serves to demonstrate the rule where it doesn’t matter how strong the stand is as long as you can defeat the user. that being said, his creepy kakyoin impression is very fun to watch so he gets bumped up to a 6/10

j. geil is the first unforgivably absolutely detestable villain, and it’s fitting that he’s a sneaky conniving coward asshole. he’s incredibly unlikeable but as well as that he’s a very threatening villain with one of the most satisfying demises in the series. fence/10

hol horse is an absolute fucking joy to watch whenever he appears. yes his stand is pretty dumb, but he’s simultaneously a total coward dumbass and a determined mercenary at the same time which doesn’t make him feel inconsistent but rather makes both aspects shine all the brighter when they come into light, but most importantly of all, he fucking respects women. 10/10 and the fact that he did not appear even more is one of the biggest crimes of stardust crusaders.

i didnt even know nena had a name but for reference this is the user of empress. i gotta say empress is pretty fun to watch, but this arc is really more about joseph. i’d say a 5/10 because she really gets less enjoyable once she gets arms and stops being a little shithead in favor of just punching joseph

zz is boring as hell and so is his stand. 1/10

enya is an extremely good creepy grandma and i dont like how it makes no fucking sense how she was defeated. qtaro/10

steely dan is the character i was talking about when i mentioned how someone pulls off rubber souls personality much better. his stand is way more interesting because it means he can be a smug asshole without jotaro coming up with witty retorts, and then when jotaro finally gets the opportunity to pay him back it’s no coincidence that it’s one of the most memorable beatdowns in the whole series. 8/10

be honest do any of you actually remember who arabia fats is? im not even going to rate this guy he’s literally 100% filler

mannish boy is a creepy baby with a fittingly creepy stand. as a character he’s... a baby, he doesn’t really do all that much, but as death thirteen he’s joyfully disconcerting and loves to fuck with people even if theres literally no reason to do so. 9/10

cameo is another villain i really cant say anything about. i mean... his stand is kinda conniving but not that interesting to watch and it’s really part of yet ANOTHER arc that only serves as exposition rather than to show an interesting fight. 1/10

midler is... ANOTHER villain without any real personality, jesus, i forgot how boring most of the sdc villains are when i decided to do this. vore/10

n’doul is the first of the 9 glory gods, and he’s a damn good introduction to them as a set of much more competent and threatening stand users. he’s smart, dedicated to his master, and has a REALLY fucking powerful and honestly scary stand. 9/10.

oingo is absolutely fucking hilarious and watching him try desperately to stay collected when dealing with polnareff and josephs bullshit is maybe the best fucking part of part 3. 10/10.

boingo is kinda boring in the sense that he only really serves to make oingo and hol horse funnier to watch, but he’s still a lovely character regardless. i’m giving him 8/10 just because oingo and hol horse are already fantastic on his own and i have NO idea why dio hired him considering how fucking useless his stand seems to be most of the time.

anubis should have a physical form outside of his stand so i can yiff him.

oh uhhh... he’s a cool cursed sword 7/10 now dont FUCKING judge me

mariah is, unfortunately, the start of by far the lowest point in stardust crusaders. as a character she’s similar to n’doul - dedicated and competent and cool - but unfortunately the arc she appears in is all about funny haha gay haha titty boob jokes. i’d love to give her above a 5/10 but the arc she appears in is so bad that i can’t. that being said, she’s a damn sight better than the next villain, because...

alessi is, hands down, the worst fucking character in jojo. j. geil at least had the decency to have a stand that didn’t reflect how fucking creepy he was, and also had the decency to die at the end, but the alessi arc is constantly uncomfortable to watch and nowhere near as satisfying as the j. geil arc. if they’d taken the opportunity to bring back young joseph like they should’ve done it could’ve been a fun arc to watch but as it stands this is not just the worst character in sdc but possibly the worst character in the series as a whole. 0/10.

thankfully daniel j. d’arby pretty much saves the part at this point by suddenly giving us one of the best arcs of all time. sure, as a character he’s far from the most interesting, but he’s still extremely entertaining to watch no matter whether he’s being smooth and snarky or in the process of ageing 20 years within 12 seconds. 9/10

pet shop is a cute widdle birb with a funny hat but really he’s not all that interesting outside of being a bird. 5/10

telence d. d’arby is the most realistic villain of sdc in that they’re an evil gamer. they’re similar to their brother, but the arc doesn’t really achieve the same tension so he can’t quite compare. 7/10

there is LITERALLY nothing to say about kenny g so i wont, but for reference he’s the guy who controls tenore sax, which is the stand that made dio’s mansion kinda fucked up. i don’t blame anyone for not remembering him

vanilla ice is the first truly terrifying villain we see in sdc. as bullshit as avdol’s death was, you really can’t deny that when a villain’s first action is to chop off his own head and his second action is to kill off a major supporting character with zero warning you’re dealing with the first and only sdc villain who has never fucked around a day in his goddamn life. 8/10 for sheer shock value.

dio is dio. what can i fucking say, he’s fucking dio. he’s smug, he’s strong, he’s smart, he’s a bastard shithead, and he will stop at nothing to fuck with people. i simply cannot get over the fact that he must’ve stopped time, walked down, picked up polnareff, put him down 2 steps, walked back up to the top of the stairs, got into the exact same pose, and then restarted time SOLELY to mess with him. i have no idea why he didn’t just kill him but i fucking love him for it. 10/10.

15 notes · View notes