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mbakuetshurisprincess · 1 year

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Back to Black Part 3

AN: Hello my loves! When I say this is a fic I was worried would NEVER see the light of day cause it was rewritten so many times. Like me and her we have been going at it for months on end so I’m super happy to say it’s finally out. The love y’all have for this series is sooooo mindblowing for me, I wanna say thank you for all the nice comments y’all always leave it really does make my day. Last thing, you’ll notice I’ve got a gen taglist and then a BTB taglist, if you want to be on either please let me know!

Summary: After vowing to never step foot in Wakanda again, unforeseen circumstances bring you back and face to face with everything (and everyone) you left.

Pairing: Shuri x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Cursing and alcoholism.

Word count: 2,822

Part 1. Part 2. Masterlist. Taglist.

Suggested listening: What It Is (Demo) - Amy Winehouse.

“Relationship, dust and remains We resonate on different planes I could cut you down again If you was like all other men If you were like all other men I know that I could shut you down again“

You knew sleeping with Shuri was a bad idea, even if it was just for one night, but damn did you get some of the best sleep of your life. At first, you two lay on opposite ends of the bed, Shuri too scared to make the first move and you second-guessing what you were even doing in her bed in the first place. It went against everything you told yourself you were standing for, to crawl back into her bed with such ease.

The touching started slowly, despite the King sized bed, somehow both of you had made your way into the middle. Shuri’s hand reached out for yours, when they met and didn’t immediately pull away she thanked Bast for allowing her even this little pleasantry. Drowsy with sleep, drunk on emotions and the thought of how much you missed the good days, you interlaced your fingers and pulled Shuri closer.

Once she was a few inches from your body you let go of her hand and placed your whole arm above her. She looked at you for a moment before crawling into your arm, resting her head on your chest where she always did. You wrapped your arm that was above her around her waist bringing her body into you and she wrapped her free arm around your torso.

Shuri let out a deep breath, one that sounded like she had been holding it in for a long time, releasing all of her stress into you. Everything was quiet and you both assumed the other had fallen asleep despite each being consumed by your thoughts. You contemplated if this was setting you back from all the progress you had made over the past six months, sliding back into Shuri’s bed and willingly opening your arms to her. Isn't this exactly what you told yourself you weren't going to do?

Meanwhile, Shuri mulled over the gravity of the situation at hand. You, Shuri’s Y/N were back in Wakanda. Many a night had Shuri spent dreaming of this, the day that you would return and fall back into her arms. But this wasn’t what she had dreamed. No. You weren’t back in Wakanda under happy circumstances to rekindle your relationship, instead, you had been brought to her by the two people who knew her the best in a last-ditch attempt to pull her out of a depression. And there was no one Shuri could think to blame but herself.

You felt her shake beneath you slightly and looked down. She hadn’t seen you look at her as her eyes were closed but you stared at her long enough to catch a few tears glide out of her eyes. The moonlight of the room gave Shuri’s skin a bluish tint and the tears glistened on the surface of her skin.

“I am SO sorry Y/N.” She spoke softly but you could hear the pain in her words. “I have done this to us, I have damned us.”

You wanted to speak, to reassure her that she wasn’t the one who had done this to your relationship, but your mouth ran dry of words. You couldn’t lie and say Shuri wasn’t the one who caused this when deep down you knew she was. As Shuri lay there crying on your chest you fought back tears of your own, this wasn’t something one night of apologies could fix.

By the time you woke up, Shuri was still clung to your body, now fast asleep. You knew you needed to get up and make something to eat for the two of you but you wanted to savor this rare moment of calm before what you assumed would be an emotional day ahead. You had always thought Shuri to be beautiful but now in the early morning light, you took advantage of the time to gaze upon her sleeping face. Noticing the way her eyelashes curled up ever so slightly and how plump her bottom lip looked while it was poked out as she slept. The scene laid out in front of you was almost picture-perfect until you remembered the last time you had been in the room.

Frantically stuffing as many clothing items as you could into a tiny book bag and uploading photos and memories onto a flash drive. Knowing that at any moment if you were to be discovered attempting to leave, there would be one hell of an argument waiting for you.

Suddenly the feeling of Shuri’s arm wrapped around your waist no longer felt like a security blanket but like a weight holding you down. The scent that enveloped you in comfort when she finally laid on you, now made you feel like you were drowning in her and couldn't get out. Your brain couldn’t comprehend quickly you made the switch from vowing to never speak to the woman again to now clearly acting as a source of comfort to her. Especially in such a physical way, given everything she’d done.

Not wanting to stay much longer and cause yourself further emotional turmoil you slowly slid yourself out of her arms. You padded quietly over to your drawers and quickly picked something to wear of the things you had left here, deciding on just a simple pair of black leggings and an oversized white shirt. You walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind you, not wanting to disturb Shuri. Turning on the shower you washed all of your anxiety down the drain, lathering yourself in the fine Wakdandan soaps you had missed. You finished by lotioning and getting dressed in the outfit you had picked out.

You looked at Shuri’s sleeping body one more time before you left the room on the mission to figure out what you could cook. The kitchen that was attached to your wing was surprisingly not bare of real food, to your surprise. The fridge was stocked with fresh fruit, milk, and other essentials. And the pantry was filled with various types of flour and other baking needs.

You decided on making pancakes, grits, eggs, and turkey bacon with a fruit salad on the side. Before you started cooking you grabbed a water bottle and a few pain relievers from the cabinet and placed them quietly back on the nightstand in your room. Knowing when the Queen woke up she was going to have one hell of a hangover.

Your cooking had consumed so much of your attention that you hadn’t even noticed the sound of Shuri getting out of bed. You were chopping the last bits of fruit for the salad when you saw her appear in the doorway, hand shielding her eye from all the light that was coming in through the windows that lit the kitchen. She approached you slowly and you couldn’t tell if it was the hangover or her nerves.

“Thank you for the uh pain pills.” She stopped on the other side of the counter. “I can feel them starting to work already.”

Words once again didn’t come easy to you and you just nodded an “Mhm.” as you swept the strawberries into the fruit bowl. You both stood in uncomfortable silence for a moment before you finally spoke up. “We should eat before the food gets cold. I didn’t know how much of an appetite you would have so I just made your favorites.” The end of your sentence trailed off, how were you even supposed to know if these were still her favorites? What if they had changed in your time apart?

Shuri had been too busy trying to speak to you this morning to even notice the breakfast spread you had laid out on the dining room table. She looked in awe as you two walked over to the table, you setting down the fruit salad as the final missing piece. Shuri was overcome with gratitude at that moment, not only had you slept in her bed last night upon her request but you woke up the next morning and made breakfast for her. How could she of been so stupid to fuck this up?

Breakfast was quiet aside from the sound of utensils scraping across plates. Shuri ate like she hadn’t been fed in days and you imagined all of the alcohol had somewhat done damage to her appetite. You found yourself not that hungry, your mind could only think of the speech you had planned for Shuri as you cooked. When she had eaten the last bit of fruit from her plate she looked up at you and said “Thank you sthandwa, I really needed that.”

The sound of that pet name somehow brought warmth to your heart despite everything that she did. “I’m just glad to see you eat again Shuri, you don’t look like you have been.”

The young royal shifted in her seat and brought her eyes back to her plate. Even though she knew she had gotten thinner, after you left Shuri, her own personal health had become the least of her concerns.

You could tell your remark brought her some amount of discomfort and you knew part of it was a shame that the mistreatment of her own body had become apparent enough for others to notice. Not wanting to dwell on the subject any longer, you changed the topic, starting with the speech you had prepared. “I have done some thinking, Shuri.”

“Oh?”

“I’m only going to be in Wakanda for seven more days, no more than that. I was brought here to get you back on your feet and that’s what I’m going to do but I won’t sacrifice my life to do that.” The words came from your mouth with more confidence than you had anticipated but you weren't mad at it.

Shuri nodded, sensing there was more where this was coming from.

“I really don’t know what’s happened since I left Shuri, but I can tell you what’s not gonna happen while I’m here. No more drinking, that's gotta be the first thing you let go.”

Shuri helped herself to another serving of grits, “Okay.” She agreed, spooning the dish on her plate.

“And you need to at least talk to Okoye and Nakia about what's going on, no more shutting them out.”

Shuri repeated the soft “Okay.” just as she had before.

You pushed the serving of eggs around your plate preparing to say what you knew was going to be the hardest for her to go along with. “And Toussaint, you need to talk to him.”

The Queen started to protest but you cut her off.

“I don’t care what you say to him Shuri, I’m not saying you need to make amends while I’m here. But he deserves something from you at least, Nakia told me how much he misses you. You owe him a conversation at least.” You pulled yourself up from the table and gathered your plate before Shuri could speak. You made your way over to the sink and started washing off some of the dishes before loading them into the dishwasher.

The air stood still and felt stale as the young royal sat at the table alone, left with just your words. Sure she knew you were right, her drinking had become a vice she could no longer control but was too scared to reach out for help.

The way she had isolated herself from Okoye and Nakia made embarrassment course through her body, the two women who had never left her side and she couldn’t even return their calls.

And Toussaint, just the thought of her nephew feeling abandoned set her insides aflame with shame. In everything you said though there was one person you left out.

“And what about you?” Shuri asked with her back to you, you had to turn off the water to ensure that you’d actually heard her.

“What?”

She stood from her chair and brought her plate over to the sink where you stood. She stood on the other side of the dishwasher door, holding your eye contact. “You have said something about everyone that I have hurt except for yourself.”

You faltered for a moment as you took the plate from her hand and rinsed it off. “This isn’t about me.”

“Why wouldn’t it be about sthandwa? I hurt you just as much as I hurt them.” The honesty in Shuri’s voice was refreshing, she hadn’t been confused last night for something it wasn’t.

You closed the dishwasher and turned on your heels. “You need to focus on the people who are in your life, Shuri.” “Are you not in my life?” She questioned, following behind you closely.

“I’m not-” You sighed, pushing your hands through your hair. “I’m not in your life the way they are. Nakia and Okoye are in your life, I’m…”

Shuri took your stuttering as an opportunity and quickly placed herself in front of you. “You are what sthandwa?”

Her sudden presence in front of you made you nervous, now that she was looking less disheveled some of the familiar feelings surrounding her started to return. To calm yourself naturally, your hands found their way to the necklace Shuri had gifted you. Her eyes flashed down to your hands and she grabbed them instinctually, “I owe you just as much if not more of an apology.”

Your hands felt safe in hers, the way her thumbs naturally rubbed up and down calmed you. You couldn’t look at her, you kept your eyes glued to your hands. It all felt so right again. The buzz of your phone pulled your attention from her and snapped you out of your trance. You took a step back, disconnecting your hands from hers, and grabbed your phone from your pocket.

Toussaint has a tutor this morning, come over for mimosas. I want to take advantage of our time together, I have missed you sisi.

Nakia

Like a gift sent from God or Bast herself Nakia provided you and out from this conversation. “I should go.”

“We didn’t even finish talking.” Shuri contended, desperate to have you that close to her again.

“There isn’t anything else for me to say.” And with that, you made your way out of the bedroom, on a mission to see Nakia.

You sat on Nakia’s couch, the laughter between you two had died down after she explained to you Toussaint’s most recent antics. It was a comfortable silence but you had known Nakia long enough to know there was something on her mind.

“Alright what is it? What’s the question you’ve been trying to find a way to slip into our conversation.” You cocked your head to the side with a slight smile to ease Nakia’s nerves, letting her know you weren't mad.

She took a sip of her champagne flute. “I was that obvious?”

“Motherhood seems to have done a number on your poker face.”

“Hey!” Nakia feigned hurt at your response and you two laughed it off. “I hope it’s not too painful for me to ask but I wanted to know, what happened the night that you left? You didn’t even give me enough time to say anything before you were gone. It was all so sudden”

The slight pain in her voice wasn’t lost on you and you felt an ache in your heart remembering the way you left things. Nakia and you had built up a rather close bond while you were in Wakanda. You considered her a sister to you so hearing how much pain and confusion your departure caused her made you ashamed for not reaching out sooner. You refilled your glass of wine and were about to begin speaking when a knock at the door stopped you.

“Give me one second, I wasn’t expecting anyone else,” Nakia said to you as she got off of the couch to answer the door. You watched as she opened it, curious as to who would be coming by her wing of the palace this early in the morning.

Nakia was greeted by Okoye standing at her door, a bottle of champagne in one hand and orange juice in the other. Okoye looked over to you on the couch and back to Nakia, noticing that you both already seemed occupied in mimosas and probably conversation.

“Oh,” Okoye started. “I wanted to drop this off but I can see you are busy. We can reconvene later.”

“No wait!” You hadn’t gotten the chance to speak to Okoye yet and the energy between you two was still off. “I was going to tell Nakia about the night that I left, I would like you to hear too. Please.”

Nakia grabbed Okoye’s arm and pulled her inside the room, shutting the door behind her, effectively making the choice for Okoye. They made a pit stop in the kitchen to get an extra champagne flute before plopping down on the couch across from you, ready to finally hear what happened.

GEN Taglist: @shuriszn @sokkasbae25 @verachii @cuddl3s4shur1 @takeyaki @jinnie10101 @letitias-fav @sweetalittleselfish-honey @beautybyfire @6-noir @mocha-aya @yvxmpire @mysticalmarss @ziayamikaelson @youralphawolf72 @n7cje @inmyheadimobsessed @shurisjournal @shurisbigtoe @saintwrld @pinkwright

BTB Taglist: @sailorsolar12 @honey-teaaaaaaaa @ghostlyboiii @itsmaniii @shuriri4life