#she manages to show the horrors and all the terrible shit without showing a single body or blood

[kedreeva]

heyo, for the st prompt! the characters - teens, especially - taking care of each other via food? <3!

(my inbox is open for ST prompts!)(Previous prompts)

It is in the very first pizza.

The entire team, finally reunited in whole, piles into the basement at Mike's house the day Will and El and the others come home. They are exhausted; it has been two days of horror since the rest of the days of horror, and no one had truly relaxed until all of them were accounted for. Most of them. The spaces Max and Eddie should fill gape like open wounds in the group.

Argyle's arrival with a piping hot pizza, thrown together in the Wheeler's kitchen, is a balm to every spent nerve. The youngest dig in first, and Argyle tells them there's another cooking, and three more prepped to go, so no one will go hungry tonight. Hardly anyone even knows Argyle, but they don't need to- the warmth in their full bellies claims him as part of the group, now.

-

It's in a tupperware of leftovers a few days after Eddie finally wakes. Nancy brings it from their dinner table and sets it on his tray, even though he can barely hold a utensil.

"The hospital food is terrible," she explains.

She sits beside his bed as he eats what he can manage, and she brings back more in the evenings that follow. One container turns into a pair when Max wakes, too. She brings them food every evening until they can both clear their containers and it finally, finally feels like they're clawing their way out of the fire.

-

It's in sandwiches, later, when Steve shows up to work for the third time in a row without a lunch because he can't remember to put one together. Robin sets a paper bag in front of him when he retreats to the break room to sit for a little while.

"You have to eat," she tells him. "If you can't remember, I'll remember for you. We don't survive all that shit just for you to starve to death."

He doesn't argue, even though he's pretty sure a skipped couple of meals won't kill him. It's not about the sandwiches, or the brownie sitting on top sometimes that they both know he's going to eat first. It's not even about the little mcintosh apples she cuts in half through the middle instead of the top, so they can wish upon the star.

It's about remembering that letting himself rely on someone else won't end the world.

-

It's in every snack that Dustin brings to game nights, and every summer drink on the edge of Steve's pool. It's in the bowls of ice cream Steve and Robin and Dustin owe Erica because she's still there to eat them. It's in the eggo-extravagana nights at the cabin they all put hands in to restore. It's in the thanksgiving after thanksgiving that they spend in that same cabin, surrounded by the people most acutely aware that it almost never happened, in every bite flavored with a not so secret ingredient.

Love in every single dish.

#Stranger Things #stranger things fic #asks #my writing #askbox prompts

[cbncb0280]

My Deepest Sorrow (Kylo Ren X Reader)

A/N: Hi guys. This is gonna be my first ever online smut so please don't judge me for it. It's 15+ as well. Welp, hope you all enjoy. I'm honestly a little nervous. 😖😬😧

Btw, Ben is aged 23 and Y/N is 22 in here.

Under 15s, please do not interact. This is a 15+ smut which could easily shock you so please be careful with what you read on here if you aren't prepared for all these horrors. Thank you for understanding.

Also, please don't steal any of my work though, unless I allow you to use it. All Rights Reserved.

Warnings: 15+ stuff, bloody horrors, over posessiveness, cheating, swearing, depression, unwanted harm, smut, oral sex, flashbacks of drugs and smutty and bloody influences.

Ben had never felt so hurt in his whole life. As if his one and only Y/N would have ever betrayed him like that. And it was her fault too to why he became this ruthless, merciless monster, Kylo Ren.

She was the only person he was ever able to have made a true connection with throughout his entire life. His parents didn't give a single shit about him at all and just automatically left him to his own devices.

He was still deeply in love with her, but through this vision, he remembered seeing Y/N and her blasted, bloody boyfriend, Alex Whisletone who she'd had an affair with. Ben and Y/N were officially due to get married until that annoying, ugly Alex boy stole his truest property off him!

He wanted to capture and kill Alex. Get out his lightsaber and take off his clothes, slush his dick off him and then strike down his entire body in his anger. Also showing his head to the Dark Side then zapping it down. And that was going to happen. No way was he giving up.

But the only problem is, would he really get Y/N back like that and especially that she knows that he's on the Dark Side now after killing all his jedi classmates by destroying the Jedi Temple?

At the moment, he knew that Y/N was having the most wonderful time with Alex. He was drunk after drinking too much poisoned alcohol without realising it. Yet he was making Ben's own property laugh and squeal with excitement.

He was forcing his dick inside of her making her feel super duper good. Alex loved that feeling while cumming inside of her so much.

Alex also kissed her lips, cheeks, forehead, neck, stomach, nipples, arms and legs sooooo hardly, giving her hickeys everywhere. Y/N did the same to him.

They also licked and sucked their private parts which really got to Ben. He remembered the first time he did that stuff to Y/N and he was a lot more gentler than that passionate, daredevil Alex who had a terribly bad influence on his own personal, beautiful, luxurious property.

Ben felt like punishing Y/N by forcing himself inside of her and making her private part bleed. He'd bite her and lick her everywhere. Maybe he'd eventually kill her with his lightsaber for leaving him?

No, no! He couldn't do that to her! No! Whether he had become dark and evil or not, he just couldn't.

A part of him did but a part of him didn't. He was emotionally conflicted and torn apart at such extreme levels that he just couldn't take anymore. All this stress of possibly Bipolar Depression was taking place right now.

In the present moment, he was in a technology room practicing his dark deeds. Until someone came bustling into the room.

It was Ronny Turnoff, an ordinary member of his dark gang.

"My Lord, my Lord. I've managed to capture someone. In fact, two people. They are both jedis and are both married. Alex Whisletone and Y/N L/N. Do you know them?"

Suddenly, Kylo came rushing by using the Dark Side of the Force to move Ronny out the way mercilessly. Just what the fuck was wrong with this depressed and damaged dude?

When he arrived at the entrance of his master, Snoke's door, he came in and found Y/N and her evidential husband, Alex chained up with her. He didn't like that. His overpossessiveness, pure anger and hatred towards Alex wanted to do loads of malevolent things to keep them apart forever.

He knew very well that Y/N could see through his thoughts with the Light Side of the Force. He really did.

"Welcome back, my worthy apprentice," Snoke began to speak.

Y/N looked shocked when she saw Ben. He wasn't looking at her and was very focused on the current situation.

"Thank you, master. I needed to speak to these two."

"It is so believed that they are two strong people who would easily defeat us, but no way will they now! We have won! All you need to do is kill them both!"

"Yes, my worthy master."

Ben grabbed the chain that Y/N and Alex were attached to and pulled them out super hardly. They were both already dying but Ben didn't care about that.

When they were just outside the entrance to Snoke's hall, Ben had a plan he came up with.

He got out his passionate and furious red lightsaber and had just sensed that Alex and Y/N were drunk with blood everywhere. They had evidently made each other bleed while smutting each other.

"I know what I have to do," Ben softly spoke, getting ready to kill Alex who was shaking and preparing to do something, but what?

"Ben, no, please." He began while panicking.

"Don't you dare, Ben!" Y/N strictly spat at him.

But it was too late. Ben struck Alex through the neck before Alex could even save himself. He did some highly bloody and detailed stuff to him which brought such powerful hatred to Y/N against Ben. To see him treat her husband like that.

Her powerful training with the Force broke the chain and pushed Ben away with it into the ceiling. She cried as she saw the blood of her beloved and smutty husband going everywhere.

But somehow, Ben managed to break free, turn off his lightsaber just in time before killing his girl, grab hold of Y/N, capture her then smut her so much and take her over to the Dark Side. Thankfully, while he smutted her, his anger calmed down and it became very gentle.

Y/N now felt terribly sorry for what she did and rejoined him and promised him that she'd never do such a thing again. It was her deepest sorrow she had ever committed in her whole life. She now despised Alex for tempting her over to him.

And with that, Y/N became his Queen and both betrayed the Jedi Army...

A/N: Nooooo, idk whether to regret writing this as it contains such horrible things. This is based on things I have written in my story 'Lost (Ben Solo X Reader)' on Quotev. But no way is all this going to be included in my story by a long chalk!

I'm so sorry if it harmed you in any way. Besides, this is my first time I've ever written some form of smut. That's why I made then ending far less detailed. But next time I write something like this, it definitely won't be as horrible as this, I can assure you.

But anyway, thanks for reading and please don't get nightmares over this. I may even change some of this one day in case it upsets a lot of people which I am deeply sorry if it does...

#kylo ren #ben solo x reader #adam driver #Smut #ben solo #star wars #15+ #15+ smut #kylo ren x reader #lightsaber #horror #cheating case #cbncb0280

[whatsthecraicwith]

What’s the Craic with...Films To Be Buried With?

I recently started binge listening to Brett Goldstein’s (aka. Roy Kent) new podcast Films to be Buried With and SPOILER ALERT! It’s really good. So good in fact that I decided to answer the questions myself. Please enjoy my controversial and strange opinions on films and do feel free to judge.

1. What was the first film you remember seeing?

Mr Bean’s Holiday. I remember going to see it with my dad and my sister at the cinemas during the school holidays. The scene of him eating oysters in the French restaurant is peak cinema.

2. What was the film that scared you the most?

Wallace and Grommit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit. I will not hear any different - this film is a horror film. It is not for children. It should not be shown to children. When I have children I will only show them this film if they have misbehaved so terribly that I need to scare them straight. I personally think my parents should pay for my therapy bills after having inflicted this psychological torment upon me as a child.

3. What was the film that made you cry the most?

Judy. This film DESTROYED me. I absolutely adore Judy Garland. I wish I could have been alive to have seen her perform. There will never be another performer like Judy. The emotion she put into every single song she performed was simply mesmerizing and Renee Zellweger captured perfectly everything that made Judy, Judy. 

4. What was the film that made you laugh the most?

Airplane! I know its one of those films where the humour is very much rooted in its time and most likely wouldn’t fly (pun intended) today but I remember being showed this film when I was younger and I thought it was the funniest thing ever produced. Everything about the guitar scene is so simple yet so effectively funny.

5. What is the film that means something special to you?

The Greatest Showman. I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say I saw this 5-10 times at the cinema. I bloody love this film. I went to see it with my grandma at one point which is one reason why it’s special to me but the bigger reason is because of how much my dad loves this film. It’s his comfort film. He says it never fails to cheer him up. He even set it as his ringtone at one point just so he had an excuse to listen to it.

6. What is a film that people hate but you love?

Jingle All the Way. People who hate this film deserve jail time. You know who you are. It is up there in the top 5 Christmas films of all time. Arnold Schwarzenegger becoming a superhero? I can and have recited this film from star to finish. The quotability of the film is also top notch. IT’S TURBO-TIME! It’s not Christmas without it. 

7. What is the film people love but you hate?

Back to the Future. Quite possibly the most overrated film I have ever seen. How it managed to get it’s own musical I will never know. I will also never understand the amount of people on the podcast who put this as the best film or their favourite film. I really just don’t understand the appeal. Or why they made three. 

8. What is the worst film you’ve seen?

Christmas on the Square. Right. It is the worst film in existence. But it makes one hell of a watch party. I spent one of the best nights watching this film and it is both 2 hours of my life I will never get back and 2 hours of my life I want to relive over and over again. One word - CHANGE!

9.  What film did you love as a kid but think is shit now?

My friends would want me to say Jingle All The Way but they would be wrong. It is in fact 

10. What is the film you relate to the most?

Happiest Season. If you know me then this requires no further explanation. Therefore I shall give none.

11. What is the sexiest film you’ve seen?

Oceans 8. Cate Blanchett, Sandra Bullock, Rihanna, Helena Bonham-Carter. Anne Hathaway. Mindy Kaling. Awkwafina. Sarah. Catherine. Paulson. End of discussion. However the film does come with a *MAY CONTAIN JAMES CORDEN* warning so you have to be on guard at all times and armed with the TV remote for immediate fast-forwarding.

12. What is a film you found sexy but wasn’t meant to be?

Chickenhare and the Hamster of Darkness. I’m not proud of it. But they had no right making that Indiana Jones looking anthropomorphized rabbit look as good as he did.

13. What is the film you can watch over and over again?

The Princess Diaries 2: A Royal Engagement. A Queen is never late, everyone else is simply...early. Princess Ami HAS to go potty. They’re smitten whilst playing badminton...where’s my kitten? ARE YOU SASSING YOUR GRANDMA?!

14. What is your favourite film?

Mary Poppins. Julie Walters won that Oscar for a reason people. If you don’t think of Mary every time you open an umbrella then you’re not living life properly. The voice of an angel, coupled with Dick van Dyke’s charmingly bad cockney accent (which I as a child thought was spot on and didn’t see any issues with). I will never get bored of this film. It never fails to make me happy. And the best moment of the film? The very first scene. The overture. The minute that first note is played I get goosebumps. The best piece of music ever composed.

15. What is actually the best film ever made?

The Wizard of Oz. I will fight people over this. It is the best, most timeless film ever created. The Wicked Witch of the West is the ultimate baddie. Judy Garland in the performance of a lifetime. It’s a musical which already makes it fantastic. The moment Dorothy arrives in Oz and the picture goes from sepia toned to full over-the-rainbow technicolour is not only one of the most important moments for cinema but without a doubt the most iconic. 

16. Which one film would you take to heaven to show everyone?

Right. Now the thing with this question is it tends to be that people pick one of the films already chosen to take with them. But if I were to do that I’d naturally either pick my favourite film - Mary Poppins - or the best film - The Wizard of Oz. But I feel like millions of people would already have taken those two films to heaven and shown everyone. So people might get bored if they have to watch it again (I wouldn’t but that’s because I’m class). So instead I’m going to go with a film that no one in their right mind would have decided to take to heaven. And that it - Diana: The Musical. Now here me out because I’ve thought about this. Not only can I show Princess Diana herself whilst I’m up there in heaven, chilling out with her (because we would be friends. We would.) But I feel like showing everyone this complete and utter piece of garbage would make everyone appreciate musicals like Mary Poppins and The Wizard of Oz SO. MUCH. MORE. And just like that I will have done what was thought to be impossible - I will have improved heaven.

If you reached the end - congratulations! If my taste in films hasn’t completely put you off my opinions on anything, here is my brief list of recommendations of the best episodes of Films to be Buried With:

Hannah Waddingham

Aisling Bea

Rosin Conaty

Tom Allen

#films to be buried with #brett goldstein #films #movies

[in-tua-deep]

Hufflepuff Five is so good! Are the Hargreeves lives as students as adventurous like the main crew from HP? What about the Ministry of Magic? Would they get involved if someone caught wind of the sibling’s powers that weren’t just magic?

Their lives are SO wack honestly like, they just vibe. They just are going through their magical youth being absolute feral children who don’t trust adults as far as they can throw them while trying to hide their weird funky powers and also ravenously going through magical feats like they’re going out of style

Luther is every sibling’s go-to practice partner because apparently durability extends to being like? Slightly magic resistant? Basically if you hit Luther with a spell it will only be like, maybe half power? So the siblings use him as a magical shield half the time and an experiment the other half and Luther just Suffers Through This until it all goes wrong and he ends up as a werewolf, oops

(But at least Ben is alive! Honestly the only reason Luther wasn’t straight up mauled to death was a combo of his durability, Ben’s proficiency in healing magic, and Ben managing to befriend the acromantulas)

(Luther eventually gets a sense of humor about this after long years of working on accepting himself and constantly threatens to bite his siblings or makes comments about them looking extra tasty when they irritate him)

Allison is a quidditch star, super popular and athletic as all hell. She probably ends up being the Slytherin team captain, honestly. Allison is all glamor and charisma and in her later years of hogwarts has an absolute blast. Allison is very much functional passing so she’s usually the front man to get the professors off their backs, but she also is the front man for a lot of the shit that the family sell for extra spending money. Five and Ben might make potions, but Allison rules the underground black market in slytherin with an iron fist (which gets them into shenanigans involving other kids who Owe Debts)

Diego is on the gryffindor quidditch team and so him and Allison are constantly at each other’s throats on the pitch (Allison sometimes rumors him during matches when she gets within earshot which makes all of the siblings yell at him but she maintains that he gets to use his stupid powers to score points so she should get to as well). Diego gets roped into everything because he’s super soft. He starts a lot of fights because he has vigilante genes so he serves a lot of detentions. His house tolerates him losing them points because the man is a wizard with a quaffle

(Diego and Allison actually practice a lot together, which their respective teams are like HMMMM over but they’re siblings and slytherin knows that Allison would never hesitate to knock Diego off his broom and wave cheerily as he falls to his death, and gryffindor is aware that Diego can, should, and must throw a ball directly at Allison’s dumb face if she gets too close to him because of the Cain Instinct)

(Honestly Allison and Diego do a LOT for interhouse unity, showing that you can still be ride or die for each other while also wanting greatly to kill each other uwu)

Ben is too independent for his own good, which is what gets him into trouble. He likes gardening, and he likes herbs, and sometimes he’s just GOTTA go into the forbidden forest on a full moon to gather these very specific ingredients, c’mon. He also just. Likes spending time in the forbidden forest. He’s Hagrid’s favorite student because he doesn’t bat an eye at all the weird magical creatures, bc homeboy got an eldritch horror in his navel. Ben makes friends with the acromantulas (who have a healthy respect for him after the Horror ate a few of them), patiently avoids the centaurs, and bribes the pixies into giving him their shed wings through liberal application of jam stolen from the Hogwarts kitchens. 

You know what Allison is functional passing and Ben is distinguished passing, all their teachers assume that Ben is the most put together of them but they’re WRONG. They haven’t seen Ben at two in the morning yanking Vanya out of ben because if they don’t break into greenhouse four and help those poor fucking plants the first years are tending to they’re all going to DIE and that’s not fair??? ben is single handedly going to save all those poor plants (and all those first year’s grades)

Vanya is just VIBING, he ends up coming out as trans in fourth year and gets to be roommates with Ben which is pretty sweet. If only Ben didn’t drag him into shenanigans?? All the teachers are like “ah yes Vanya, such a quiet boy not like his siblings at all” but Vanya can will should and must climb onto the roof of the astronomy tower to play his violin because He Just Likes To Be Tall. Vanya once punched a snobby ravenclaw kid in the nose and then stared them down saying “the teachers will never believe you.”

Vanya steals Luther to practice his powers with in unused classrooms the most?? he’s durable. he’ll be fine if Vanya blasts him into a wall with his powers lol

Vanya’s solution to all their problems is “do you want me to blow it up with my powers?” or “do you want me to kill them for you?” 

(All of the siblings now refuse to duel with Vanya except for Luther bc Vanya is RUTHLESS. He WILL murder his siblings (almost) given the chance. They’re all so lucky that Ben is so good at healing and carries extra vials of healing potions on his person otherwise Madame Pomfrey would be VERY CONCERNED)

Five and Klaus probably get into the most shenanigans? Klaus gets less and less afraid of ghosts the more he runs into nice ones like Fred Weasley. Fred also lovingly nurtures Klaus’s absolutely terrible sense of humor and encourages him to prank the whole school. Klaus knows ALL the secret passageways thanks to Fred, a previous owner of the Maurauder’s map, so he’s just like. Constantly in the walls. He once dropped out of the ceiling to get to transfiguration in time and nobody even commented on it because Klaus is just Like That.

(A few people see Klaus’s boney elbows and knobbley knees and thinks he’s a good target for bullying just because he’s a slytherin and interhouse awfulness absolutely it at an all time high so recently after the war. YEAH his siblings step in and put the fear of god into any bullies, but Klaus fights like a cornered raccoon.)

Five is just way too smart and curious for his own good. He likes to poke around, figure things out, and also make money. Five does people’s homework, charges them for potions or rune work, tutors, dismantles shit in the chamber of secrets, ALSO explores the secret passageways (and finds some that weren’t on the map), is lovingly bullied into Friendship Activities with his housemates, breaks into the other houses’s common rooms for funsies, and keeps getting fed by the house elves who found out he can ‘apparate’ like them (without a wand) and have apparently adopted him against his will

Five is the sibling who has his fingers in like. ALL the pies. and just constantly pops up and drags them into things. Five will be helping Klaus with potions homework then glance up and tell Diego he’s cashing in the favor he’s owed for carving runes into Diego’s knives and that Diego now gets to break into Douglas Eddington’s room to steal back Lana Delwich’s diary so that Five can trade it to Lana for her rare Solomon Babik chocolate frog card which Five can give to Barnaby Beeson in exchange for a Large Distraction of Five’s Choice and a sketchy book on ward breaking which Five needs so he can break into the headmaster’s office to get a confiscated dark magic book that has some information Five needs to alter a potion that he’s probably going to make Luther drink later

Five is the sibling who is like “Ugh, I thought I was trading for some nundu ingredients but now i have a Whole Baby Nundu in the basement :/”

Which, of course, Klaus wants to keep despite the poison breath.

“This is literally one of the most dangerous magical creatures, we are not keeping it.” Luther says, unimpressed. However, he definitely has it cradled in his arms and makes kissy faces at it when he thinks no one is looking. (Apparently baby toxic nundu breath only makes Luther sneeze, so there’s that?)

“If you guys are arrested for smuggling I am not bailing you out.” Is Allison’s only decree about the matter.

Honestly I wouldn’t be shocked if someone DID eventually find out about one of the siblings’ powers - however, they would come to entirely the wrong conclusion about them?? Because this is a world of MAGIC and so everything magical has to have a magical explanation, right???

Luther is durable as all fuck???? Uhhhhh maybe he has some like. Troll blood or giant blood something back in his family line, obviously not something he would ever want the world to know about bc of species-ism

Allison can make you do whatever you want with her words????? Maybe she’s part veela? With that charm appeal?

Five is doing. Wandless apparation?? I mean, that’s rare as FUCK but wandless magic is,,, grudgingly accepted though it’s usually only used for small or very familiar spells and not usually something as complex as apparation but OKAY just sit him down and forbid him from doing it anymore bc boy boutta be SPLICED or some shit

Klaus can. Klaus can talk to ghosts. Who are not full ghosts. Hmm. huh. Maybe it’s?? A family ability??? a super rare one? like being a metamorphagus? (What the fuck??????? what the FUCK???????)

Primarily the kids started off paranoid because they believed that their abilities indicated that they weren’t the same type of magic, and they didn’t want to be returned to their father, and then it progressed into “these abilities might make people scared of us (looking at you allison, with your imperius-ass abilites)” or “we can’t afford that kind of scrutiny or curiosity about our powers (they might find out luther is a werewolf or something idk)” and “if we are ‘desirable’ children with ‘rare abilities’ the government might try to split us up and adopt us into weird pureblood families or something OR might try to lock us up (like where would they even put Ben??)”

honestly if ben ever got found out he’d just deadpan “it’s a curse, hand me the black wormroot would you?” and be like “oh yeah it’s under control i just go vibe in the woods every so often and rip up a tree or something. I think the horror wants to be the whomping willow when it grows up actually, so just don’t get too close when i’m in the horror zone. if you can live with a murder tree on campus you can live with me on campus”

someone sees vanya fuck something up with his powers and is like ???? and Vanya is just like “accidental magic lol” 

“aren’t you... a bit... old for accidental magic...”

“accidental. magic.”

#hogwarts au #they get into so many shenanigans op you have no idea #honestly they probably get a lot looser with publically using their powers #except for allison #she keeps a lock on that shit bc it's an azkaban sentence for using imperius babie #also yes vanya is trans in the hogwarts au now sorry i don't make the rules #congrats elliot page for coming out #i'll probably vary between my aus what is going on with vanya but hogwarts au vanya is trans #he shares a room with ben and gets dragged along to help ben break into greenhouses #five has put himself in charge of getting funds for their futures #because they might survive on the hogwarts orphan fund right now but what about AFTER diego #allison is going to become a famous quidditch player so she doesn't care #but the REST of them??? #allison is a jock and you can pry that from my cold dead hands #they have less 'take down the government' school shenanigans #more 'magical school that can kill you' type things #and also whatever shady shit five has gotten into #the slytherins have given up keeping five out of their common room #someone: what have you got there? #ben with the horror out gesturing with a tentacle: a smoothie #luther about being a werewolf: i'm a MONSTER #five: and WHERE was this attitude when you ate my last jar of marshmallow fluff? #the siblings are all just. immune to bullshit now honestly #long post #far tua long #Anonymous

[theimprobabledreamersworld]

I've Got You

So, I had noticed that I haven't written much Loceit recently either and I really wanted to!

This one is based off the TV show 9-1-1! Which is the show that Blue and I realised that we were both watching recently! While we were talking about some things from the show, this idea came to mind so I sat down and wrote for two hours straight- it was a lot of fun! 😊

I've gifted this story to @red-imeanblue! She's been a fantastic writing partner and wonderful friend, so this is just a little something to show my appreciation for everything 😊💛

I hope you enjoy reading this one! The story and warnings are under the line! 💜

Read on Ao3!

General writing taglist: @psychedelicships @jwillowwolf @writerwithtoomanyships @lost-in-thought-20 @red-imeanblue (If you would like to be added to the general writing taglist- let me know! 🌟)

I've Got You

Logan/Janus

Warnings: Death/murder mention (not of main characters), coping with death, weapon mention, angst, overwhelmed moments.

Logan’s leg bounced rapidly as he sat in his police car outside a familiar house. He fiddled with his LAPD badge making sure it was completely straight before working up the courage to open the door, just like he did six years ago. He never thought that he would be doing this. The case had no leads, no suspects and it was declared ‘cold’. All resources were taken away from him and the department working on the case, but Logan refused to give up on it. He needed to find out who murdered the man that he had loved, damn the consequences. His mind raced back to where this all began. He couldn’t stop the memory from completely consuming his mind.

He was a young officer at the time. Young and in love. He had grown to hate this part of the job, where he had to knock on the door and tell a loved one the horrible news about their family member. Watching them cry and collapse in front of him, begging him to tell them that it was a mistake, it was hard to do. He wanted to cry with them, but he needed to be calm and composed for their sake. Throughout his training, he was always called so many things; determined, calculated, a little-closed off… but damn good at his job. This night, this night was the ultimate test and he knew he would fail. He pulled up outside the house he had been to so many times. He had family dinners here, parties here… he had got engaged in this very house, and now… now that was gone. Logan looked at the shining gold band on his finger, and immediately felt the tears start to form in his eyes. He couldn’t do it, he insisted that he would despite everyone’s objections… how do you tell the woman that has been a mother to you, that their son… your fiancée was never coming home? He took a deep breath, felt a hand pat his shoulder in sympathy before he opened the car door slowly. The flashing lights of the car stayed on in solidarity, the red and blue colliding in front of him was oddly reassuring. Every step he took towards his second home was agony, he wanted to turn and run but he shook that thought away. Logan knew he had to do this… for her… and for Sam. His composure was intact for a brief shining moment, until he looked up at the room where Sam proposed and his resolve began to crumble instantly. The blue front door opened frantically, and his heart broke when he saw Bea’s face. The woman he wished was his mother, this women supported him at every turn. She came to his graduation from the academy despite Sam graduating the year before, she held him after rough cases and she gave him advice whenever him and Sam ever had a fight. That was never often though, they were completely besotted with each other, even if it took them so long to realise it. It was the best three years of his life, and it had been destroyed by a single gunshot.

“Bea…” His voice came out in a strangled sob, and that was the only word he could sound before he lost the small amounts of composure left.

“Logan?! Are you hurt?!” He shook his head frantically and his body wracked with sobs when Bea tried to gently lift his head to get him to look at her. When their eyes met, she knew instantly and her eyes filled with tears in shock and realisation.

“Sam? No, no, no it can’t be! He’s not…” All he could do was nod his head, he couldn’t even find the courage to say the word out loud. Bea screamed and pulled Logan in for a tight hug as both of them mourned together.

Ever since that day, he became a completely different person. He would still be described in the same way; determined and calculated, but there would be more added on now. The rumours that flew though the department said he was now; cold, unfeeling, fighting a lost cause. Those weren’t true. He still felt the emotions after every case, when talking to every witness, talking to family members but it just never showed anymore. The whole department knew about his determination to find out who killed his fiancée, but he was equally determined to keep the streets safe. He didn’t take any shit from anyone, and that’s how he rose through the ranks like he did. He was a damn good cop, but a very lonely person. The brick walls around his heart were stood strong, and it was clear that they were never going to break down again. At least that’s what he thought.

The day that he started getting calls with the LAFD, that’s when things began to change. Janus, the fire department head was a mysterious man with a dangerous and unknown past, but he understood Logan. He understood why he closed himself off, they were both fighting demons that they didn’t want their teams to know about. As they got closer and opened up to each other, they realised they could help each other.

When Janus dealt with an extremely difficult job where they fought a fire for five hours, and managed to save an entire family in the process, Logan took one look at his face and knew that he needed to find him straight away. He got another police officer to keep the people behind the tape and he ran after Janus. Logan found Janus hiding behind the fire truck gasping for breath, and without thinking he wrapped his arms around his shoulders letting him know he wasn’t alone. Logan didn’t understand why Janus took this one badly, he had just saved a family… but it turned out that a few years ago, he couldn’t save his own from a terrible fire that he unintentionally caused. They sat together just holding onto each other until Janus was okay again.

“Janus. It’s going to be alright. The images in your head are wrong. What you did today, that was real. I’m real, you’re real. Let’s work things out for real, together.”

They got closer immediately, and Logan could feel the walls around his heart starting to crack and fall down brick by brick. He remembered the nerves on their first date, they stumbled around each other until they found their feet, and agreed to meet again. They snuck off away from prying eyes during calls, stealing kisses and flirting like a couple of kids. It didn’t take too long for their co-workers and friends to notice, and although Logan thought he would mind… he couldn’t care less what people thought. It was him and Janus against the world. They fell in love, moved in together and started their lives afresh. When Logan came home to find the room covered in rose petals and Janus kneeling holding a small box in front of him, he couldn’t believe that this was happening… again. He sighed and kneeled next to Janus, and told him everything about his past in a dramatic stream of consciousness. Janus listened patiently and wiped away his tears when he cried at the memory. When he was done, Janus was still holding the ring box in front of him.

“I haven’t scared you off?” Logan asked as a genuine question.

“You were… feeling. You’ve spoken from your heart for the first time since we got together… and it’s one of the many things that I love about you. I don’t want to wait another minute. I want to take every step with you, for the rest of our lives. Marry me, Logan.” Janus smiled as Logan nodded frantically and launched himself at Janus into a hug. As the ring was put on his finger, he saw how perfectly it fitted… just like it did before. He realised that was okay, he wasn’t forgetting Sam. He was taking a different path with someone new.

Everything was perfect. They were living the perfect life and Logan had finally found the passion for his job once again, and he pursued every opportunity with determination. They watched each other’s backs when they were on calls together, and they worried for each other when they were in dangerous situations. They were just grateful when they came back home to one another at the end of every day. A gift that Logan appreciated just as much as Janus.

Today, two years later, it was the sixth anniversary of Sam’s murder when he got the phone call. They had finally found some concrete evidence for the case. He almost dropped his phone before running out of the house, not even saying goodbye to Janus. He raced to the police station and barged through the doors to find out the evidence. They had found the gun, and in turn, the guy who owned it. Logan’s heart pounded in his chest… had they finally done it? Had they caught the son of a bitch who destroyed his life? He stayed calm and searched for the last address of the gun owner. When it came up on the screen, he immediately grabbed his car keys and drove like his life depended on it. Rage filled his veins as he pulled up outside the house, but he could hear Janus’ voice in his mind telling him to calm down, getting angry wouldn’t help. He nodded before clearing his mind to shut off his feelings as he walked up to the door. As a scraggly man opened the door who thankfully matched the image he was given, his eyes widened in horror as if he recognised Logan.

“Roy Williams? You’re under arrest for murder. Move, before I make you.” He tried to run, but Logan stuck his leg out and watched him fall unceremoniously in front of him. He dragged the man to his feet before handcuffing him and throwing him into the back of the car. They drove back in silence, his hands turning white as he gripped the steering wheel tight. As he got back to the station, his commanding officer was waiting to take him in. As much as he wanted to be in that interview room, he knew he was too connected to the case. He was promised that he would be notified as soon as possible as to the conclusion of the interview. Logan sat at his desk, clicking meaninglessly though emails on his computer for what felt like hours. His commanding officer came out of the interview, Roy Williams still in handcuffs and being taken away. The look on his face said it all.

“He’s confessed. We got him.” Logan stood up and thanked him sincerely before racing off once again. He knew where he needed to go.

His mind brought him back to reality as his hand rested on the door mechanism of the car. He was as ready as he would ever be. He walked to the front door timidly, then knocked on the door and stood to attention. The door opened softly and a frail, exhausted woman looked shocked at what she saw. He had to admit, it was good to see her again, but there was a crippling sense of guilt that he hadn’t come back sooner.

“Logan?? Well, look at you!” She smiled that smile she always gave when she was proud, and it made him glad that he was coming back with good news.

“Bea… we made an arrest.” She gasped and put her hands over her mouth before rushing forward and embracing him. He hesitated for a millisecond before hugging back.

“I knew you’d never give up. Thank you.” The warmth and gratitude in her voice pierced Logan’s heart, and he let one tear roll down his cheek before letting go. He squeezed her shoulder lightly before heading back to the car. A huge weight was lifted off of his shoulders, he felt free… genuinely and completely free for the first time ever. He sighed before realising the time and he once again raced home to his husband. He ran a couple of red lights, but it was okay. He just wanted to be with the one he loved.

His keys rattled in the front door and Janus was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs, there was a mix of worry, relief and happiness in his eyes. Logan walked slowly, almost in disbelief and put his keys down delicately on the table.

“Hey you, I’ve been worried! Is everything okay?” Janus asked with a raw sincerity.

“Yeah. Yeah. We… er… we made an arrest. For Sam. We got him.” He looked at the floor, feeling a catastrophic amount of emotion threatening to break free. Janus stepped forward, Logan could feel his eyes on him, and he could feel the smile radiating off of him.

“I... I can’t believe it’s finally happened.” Logan nodded. It was at that point that he knew, he couldn’t hold it back anymore. Everything he was feeling… the pain, the fear, the relief, the love. He cried out and began to collapse to the floor. Janus’ eyes widened before lunging forward and grabbing Logan in his arms. He held him as Logan gripped onto him as tight as possible.

“It’s okay. I’ve gotcha. I’ve gotcha.” Janus whispered reassuringly as Logan sobbed into Janus’ shoulder. Janus kept hold of him and guided them gently to the floor, he held him tight and refused to let go until Logan let out everything he was feeling. It was raw, painful but beautiful. Eventually, Logan stopped crying but refused to let Janus go, so he picked Logan up and they sat on the sofa and eventually fell asleep firmly wrapped in each other’s arms. They both knew that everything would be okay.

They were two halves of the same coin, they had both been to hell and back… but despite everything they were running away from, they were the best thing for each other. Logan thought about one thing as he slept, something that Janus said a long time ago.

They really were like two pieces of different puzzles that somehow fit together perfectly. They were both on completely separate paths, but were thrown onto a new one... Helping them to move on from their demons, together. For now and always.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #ts logan #ts janus #source: 911 on fox #romantic loceit #tw death mention #tw murder mention #tw weapon mention #angst #fluff #hurt and comfort #tw overwhelmed emotions #ts fanfic #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fanfiction #firefighter au #police au

[ambivalent-anarchy]

You've Got Moves (Part 2)

Masterlist

Part 1

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: None

A/N: Better late than never, right?😂😂 (wow 2 fics in one week that's crazyyy) Also I put one of my favorite comedy tiktoks in the dialogue soooooo oops? Also Harry and Ned are wingmen who share one brain cell and I like it that way

I might make one more part to this but idk

---------------------------------------

It took 7 months for Peter to ask you out.

It took the time for MJ and Asher to become a couple, homecoming to go by, MJ and Asher to break up, winter formal, midterm exams, MJ and Asher to get back together, and Christmas to go before Peter Parker gathered the guts to even consider thinking about asking you out.

Scared wasn't even the word for it.

Harry Osborn, the new transfer student, laughed at how nervous Peter was at lunch. "Asking girls out is easy, Peter. I do it all the time!"

"You say it like it's the simplest thing on earth," Peter dreaded, to which Harry shrugged.

"Because it is! You just ask. How is it that I've only been at this school for 2 months and I've had more chicks than both you and Ned combined?"

"Hooking up is not a hobby of mine. That's why," Peter retorted with a pitifully unintimidating glare.

Harry shrugged with his shit-eating grin. "It's not my fault the girls and gays can't resist these lips."

Ned chimed in as he threw a french fry into his mouth. "Peter, this isn't like Liz last year. You and [Y/N] are already really close, dude. I'm sure you can just ask her. Who knows? She might say yes!"

"But what if she says no?," Peter groaned. "Then I'll just be one of those people she avoids and barely talks to out of awkwardness." He shifted in his seat nervously. "I don't want that."

"But if you don't say anything then you'll always regret it," Ned pointed out.

Harry sighed and rolled his eyes. "Peter, pull out your phone."

Peter raised his eyebrows in confusion, but followed Harry's instructions.

"Go to her in messages and say 'hey let's get dinner'." He smiled. "See? Simple."

Peter opened your messages in his phone and stared at your profile picture.

'You can do this, Peter. You can do this.'

He bit his lip. "Okay but should I say, 'let's get dinner' or 'do you want to get dinner'?" Seeing Harry's impatient face, he explained himself. "I just feel like those two sentences have completely different vibes, y'know?"

Harry glared at him. "Are you really about to have us telling you what to tell your crush like a bunch of girls?"

Peter didn't know how to answer that question seriously. "Uh...yes?"

Harry pondered the question for a small bit before simply shrugging and answering. "Hmm, go with 'let's get dinner', so you'll sound all confident and assertive."

"Okay."

Before Peter could press send without thinking twice, Ned stopped him. "Well, actually now you sound a little aggressive, man."

"Really?," Peter asked with a wince, immediately erasing the message.

"Yeah, I mean the last thing you wanna be like is the guy that's all like 'let's get dinner' like you're some kind of caveman."

Peter groaned. "Oh no, definitely not."

Ned ate another fry. "You want to ask her to dinner, not tell her to dinner."

"I'll go with 'do you want to get dinner' then," Peter said with a nod.

That one didn't sit well with Harry. "No Pete. Cuz now you sound like a pussy."

Peter slammed his phone onto the lunch table. "This stuff is tough!"

Ned turned towards Harry. "No but listen. The last thing Peter wants to do is come off as the overly masculine type that's all like 'let's get dinner cuz I'm the breadwinner, bitch', y'know?"

Harry shook his head. "Yeah but women also love assertiveness. You have to know what you want."

Peter stared at the table, desperately wanting the conversation to be over. Why would he even go to these two for relationship advice? Harry was the king of hookups and Ned's relationships never lasted longer than a few weeks. What was he thinking? For a guy with a 4.5 GPA, he sure did feel stupid.

"I got it!," Ned exclaimed. "Okay. Text her this. 'Dinner would be something that I would enjoy taking you on, but only if YOU were also interested in attending the meal'." He held his hands up for praise.

Harry nodded. "Mhm. Perfect balance. And the more words the better."

Peter just stared back at them, wondering where he'd gone wrong in life. "...no.... I'm not gonna send her that."

Harry shrugged. "Welp,' he sighed. "I guess some people just don't want to be helped."

So close to slamming his head into the table in front of him, Peter felt a tsunami of relief hit when he saw Asher walk into the cafeteria.

Asher was your best friend. If anyone knew the proper way you'd want to be asked out, it'd be him.

The second Asher noticed Peter looking at him, he made his way over. "Hey Peter. What's up?," he asked as he found an empty seat.

Harry spoke up before Peter had the chance. "Hey Ash. Pick one. 'Let's get dinner' or 'do you want to get dinner'."

Asher thought for a second. "Depends on the girl," he said before taking a bite into his apple. "-but 'do you want to get dinner' is nicer. Why?"

Harry slammed his fist on the table. "Damn it!"

"Yes!," Ned cheered.

Asher looked around the table. "Okay, by why?"

Harry and Ned went quiet and looked to Peter, who was staring anywhere to avoid eye contact. He began to mumble pitifully."I....I-i wanna.. I wanna-"

Harry and Ned spoke up, already tired of the conversation not getting anywhere. "He wants to ask-"

"-I wanna ask [Y/N] out!," he blurted, feeling his cheeks start to burn when Asher's smirk turned into a wide grin.

"Well it's about time!," he exclaimed. "She's been crazy about you since you met."

"Really? She has?," Peter asked. That wasn't even in the realm of possibility in his mind.

Asher nodded. "She's always going off to me about how-" he mocked your higher pitched voice. "I've been dropping him hints since, like, foreverrrr!"

"Seriously?! She has?"

Ned laughed. "Well Peter. She has been calling you cute since the day she met you..."

"But I just always thought it was the friendly kind of cute, y'know?," he rambled. "Not the boyfriend type cute!"

"How many girls are out here calling you cute for you to make that assumption, dude?," Harry asked.

Asher sighed. "So this is what it's like to have low confidence." He shook his head and gave Peter a disappointed look. "I can't say I like witnessing this, Pete."

"Just-" Peter groaned and squeezed his eyes shut. "Just tell me what will work, okay? I need to ask her out perfectly."

Asher tilted his head in confusion. "She's a simple girl. You just have to straight up ask her out. What's the confusion there?"

"That's what I said!," Harry yelled.

"You know he's got to make it difficult for himself for no reason," Ned pointed out.

"Okay can we all talk about how terrible I am at this after you help me?," Peter begged.

"...yeah."

"Sure."

"Ugh, fine."

Peter sighed. "Alright. So?"

"What are you going for?," Asher asked. "Like a gift or something?"

"I just want whatever's the absolute best way to ask her out."

Asher pinched the bridge of his nose. If he was gonna set you up with your crush, he wanted it to happen right.

"Okay," he said, staring Peter in the eyes with a new sort of intensity. "Think about your best moments with her. Now pick something special from all those moments and voila! You'll have it!"

Peter nodded and stared at the ground as he thought for a while about everything he'd done with you since the beginning of school. You were truly the most extraordinary, most confident girl he'd ever met.

Every time he'd thought you couldn't get more perfect, you'd just show him another side of you that was better than the rest. He always stayed endlessly impressed and most of all, he felt as if he didn't have to try too hard with you. He could be himself and mess up as many times as he could manage and you still stuck around, showing him that there needn't be any worries.

And your style? Fuck, you could make anything work for him. You were the only one who could get him out of his comfort zone and in front of a camera, for something as frivolous as a TikTok. But he'd always do it, and even find the fun in it, because it made you happy.

"Remember how we freaked out that first time when she called you cute, Pete?," Ned said. "She said that you were cute and that you only had to put it use!"

Harry laughed. "This girl is literally giving you the instructions, Peter. Take them."

"Hmm." Peter looked up with a smile and snapped his fingers. "I got it."

-

You tossed popcorn into your mouth and snuggled yourself further into the blanket. "Ash, how can you even say that? 'It' is a horror movie!"

"Yeah, technically," he retorted. "But there's literally not a single part of the movie that's scary. It's more of a drama than anything else."

"You realize the clown phobia rate skyrocketed when the movie came out right?"

Asher scoffed. "Uh, your point? It's not my fault some pussies couldn't sit through it. Still a drama. The story definitely played with your emotions more than your fears."

"Whateverrrr," you laughed. "I can't deal with you."

"Pennywise literally got up and did this," he said before breaking out into Pennywise's dance. He laughed as he kicked his legs out. "What kind of horror movie has this crap in it?" He stopped when he felt the full force of you throwing a pillow on his face. "Ugh!"

"Sit down and get under the covers, idiot," you hissed. "I wanna keep watching these HORROR films."

"Whateverrrr," he drawled out, mocking you. He sighed and plopped down next to you, grabbing a handful of popcorn after.

When school was getting suffocating, marathoning horror movies with Asher were a must. He had an endless repertoire and all the time in the world for his best friend.

Halfway through 'It: Chapter 2' though, the movie was the least of your focus and instead was TikTok.

What could you say? The app was addictive.

It was a big, entertaining, completely useless collage of everything every no-name had to offer, from stupid debates to cringey POV's to fun dance routines.

You tried to hook every friend you could on it. Asher, of course, already knew about it since it first came out and he, of course, had thousands of followers because most of what he posted was random thirsts traps whenever he was feeling hot, which was always. And thirsts traps are always in high demand for the people on TikTok.

You tried to hook MJ on it, but she'd already decided that she didn't like it before even giving it a chance. Even the messy, political side didn't reel her in.

Of course then there was Peter, who didn't know was TikTok even was before he met you. You made it your sole mission to get him hooked, but you'd since given up on that. It was a lost cause. The only time he probably ever saw TikTok nowadays was when he was doing dances with you before gym started. He let you put the app on his phone but he never used it. You wouldn't even put it past him to have deleted it, but it was whatever. TikTok had started his friendship with you, so needless to say, it'd done an amazing job in your life.

Plus your followers were always asking about him. All of the "omg couple goalssss" and "you guys look so cute together" served as massive confidence boosters. A girl can dream, right?

You shifted over a bit when you felt Ash getting closer and closer to you.

When he moved over again, you scooted away, only for him to get closer again. "Ash, what is your deal?"

"Easy there," he chuckled, backing up a little. "I'm looking at the phone, not you."

"You've been all up in my phone all day, what's up?"

"I can't tell you," he shrugged, a sly smirk stretching across his face. "But," he pointed to your tiny screen. "Some idiot is taking wayyyy too long to shoot his shot."

"Shoot his shot?" You gasped. "Who?"

"I'm not at liberty to say," he said with a smirk.

"Nooooo," you whined. "If someone has a crush on me you gotta spill! C'mon, please?"

He laughed and repeated himself. "I'm sorry, but I am not at liberty to say!"

"Bullshit! Who is it? C'mon! C'monnnnnn!"

He shrugged and this time you knew that he was dead set on not giving up the mystery guy.

"Ugh," you pouted. "Fine. Let's just finish the stupid movie."

-

"Kids next door, battle stations!!!!"

And now it was sometime after midnight. The popcorn was all gone. The movie was done and now you were watching old cartoons so that the horror movie wouldn't be the last thing on your mind before bed.

Looking over, you saw that Asher didn't need any cartoons like you did. He was already passed out, snoring as loud as ever.

Grumbling in boredom, you stared at the wall, trying to connect the tiny dots in the designs. It was like something was officially keeping you from being able to fall asleep.

*Ding!*

At the sound of your phone receiving a text, you sat up curiously. Who was texting you at this hour?

You smiled when you saw that it was Peter.

Pete: hey y/n

You were about to send him a quick,"why are you up this late" text, but he kept typing.

Pete: pls dont judge me too hard for this

With that completely vague warning, you furrowed your eyebrows, concerned.

Y/n: whats up r u okay

He sent you a link next, which confused you, but not as much as when you actually pressed it.

It led you to TikTok, and the video was waiting to be pressed to start. Peter was standing in the middle of the screen with one of his typical corny sweatshirts on. The caption at the top read: "For [Y/N] Only". Smiling already, you quickly pressed play.

You slapped your hand over your mouth. "Oh my God."

"So he finally got the guts, huh?," Asher mumbled, having woken up from the loud music on your phone but was still half-asleep.

"Oh I'm sorry, did I wake you?," you asked. You turned down your phone.

"Don't worry about me, you just got a boyfriend," he chuckled, moving to lay down so he could get to sleep again. "Text him back for god's sake."

~~~

Y/n: its been almost a whole year and youre still so cute when you make those

Pete: haha thanks

Pete: uh

Pete: i really like you y/n

Pete: do u think you'd wanna go out with me or get dinner sometime?

~~~

"He asked me out," you gasped. "Ash, he asked me out!"

Asher rolled over and groaned. "I thought that was already established? Jesus, you two couldn't possibly be moving any slower."

You rolled your eyes. "Fuck you."

"Nah, you're with Peter now," he laughed. "You're gonna have to fuck him instead!" That comment earned him another pillow to the face.

You looked back at the messages and sent a tiny cute one. You smirked at the new idea of what was about to happen and turned it off before going to sleep.

~~~

Y/n: kiss me at school tomorrow and find out

~~~

Didn't do a third edit cuz I got lazy but I'm pretty happy with the turnout anyway. Thanks for reading!

Tagging: @allegra-writes, @allegra-soleil, @yumings, @hey-its-grey, @spideyyeet, @sunkissedspidey, @tommyunderoos, @chaoticpete, @snarky--starky, @sovereignparker, @thesherlockianavenger, @bubblebucky, @kelieah, @eridanuswave, @ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr, @kidney9-9, @gwenvrse

#peter parker fanfiction #peter parker x reader #spiderman mcu #peter parker fic #spiderman #peter parker x y/n #spiderman x you #peter parker #spiderman fic #spiderman x reader #peter parker is a dork #peter parker funny #peter parker fluff #peter parker oneshot #peter parker x you #spiderman fanfiction #spiderman funny #spiderman x y/n #peter parker tiktok fic #tiktok fic #peter parker mcu #mcu fandom #mcu x reader #mcu x y/n #mcu x you #marvel x you #marvel x reader #marvel #marvel fanfiction

[artificialqueens]

Kids Have Terrible Timing (Biadore) - Sarcastacnt

Summary; One of Roy and Danny’s two daughters has a tendency to get over excited at the smallest things and at the worst possible time for her fathers.

“We can always return her right?”

“See, this is what happens when we trust your genes. Let’s take a second to notice how the spawn with my genes is basically a Saint compared to her sister.”

Danny pulled a face and whacked Roy with a pillow. “Not what you said when she ruin, how many of your gowns was it again? 9?”

“It was 15 and you know it.” Roy grumbled still puzzled at how the then five year old Sabrina had gotten a hold of the gowns, let alone figured out how to work his sewing machine. Something that still eluded Danny.

“Let’s just agree that they’re both evil in their own special ways.” Danny offered, trying desperately not to laugh at the pained expression on Roy’s face.

Roy snorted, “Not much longer until they go through puberty. That’s when we cash in all those offers to babysit from Shane.”

Danny groaned and flopped down dramatically against the bed. “Two teenage girls in one house. What the fuck were we thinking?”

Roy shrugged, “Probably that at least one of them would be a boy.”

Danny laughed, “At least then they wouldn’t bug to borrow our drag. Well, your drag.”

Roy laughed at the memory of the two dark haired girls gasping in disbelief at the room full of princess gowns and lumberjack clothing. “Still can’t believe how good that read was, fucking lumberjack.” He was still snickering when Danny decided he was no longer comfortable laying on the bed.

With a surge of power from his left leg he moved to straddle Roy’s hips. “You’re the one who married a lumberjack Haylock.”

Roy automatically dropped his hands to rest on Danny’s thighs. “You married a princess, least I’m still gay in this version of reality.”

Danny snorted, “Whatever, that makes you a princess, least I’m still a man.” He leaned forward and licked Roy’s neck before whispering in his ear. “Although every single time I’ve fucked you while you were dressed as a princess was hot as hell. You really should let me fuck you in drag more often.”

Roy let out a groan as Danny squirmed on his lap. “Why would I put a bunch of clothes on for sex? Doesn’t being naked make everyone’s lives easier?”

Danny began kissing Roy’s jaw, taking a familiar path down to the collar of Roy’s shirt. “I meant when we preform asshole.” He said as he started to work the buttons of Roy’s shirt open.

Roy rolled his eyes, “Because normally after we preform you’re so fucking horny that you beg to get fucked.” Roy brought both hands crashing down on Danny’s ass, “Remember?”

Danny started to kiss his way down Roy’s chest now that the button down was pushed open. “Fuck yeah I do.” He looked up at Roy, eyes gone a little glassy with arousal. “Speaking of which, it’s been quiet for almost an hour. We should probably take advantage while we can.”

Roy chuckled and began to tug at Danny’s shirt. “You’re absolutely right.” When Danny didn’t move to remove his shirt quick enough, Roy rolled them so he was on top. He quickly pulled off the light sleep pants Danny wore and began stroking the already half hard cock. “Doesn’t take much to get you going, does it?” he teased before taking Danny’s erection into his mouth.

“Never has.” Danny admitted before groaning at the very talented tongue that was quickly turning his brain to mush.

Roy held out his hand, without stopping the blow job and Danny reached blindly for the small bottle of lube on the nightstand. He pushed it into Roy’s hand before letting his head fall back against the pillows.

Wasting no time, Roy lubed up two fingers and pressed them into Danny. It only took a few thrusts before Danny was demanding that Roy ‘stop fucking around and put your dick in me!’. With such a sweet request, how could Roy refuse? He pushed his own sleep pants down and lubed up his erection before taking a second to tease Danny’s entrance.

“Fuck me Roy!” Danny demanded, his hips lifting off the bed in frustration.

“Fine, but next time we have time I’m gonna make you pay for being an Impatient bitch.” Roy said as he grabbed Danny’s hips and started to push himself inside-

“DADDY!!!”

*CRASH, SLAM, BANG*

Roy didn’t know how he did it but somehow he got both of them covered up under the blanket before 6 year old Stevie managed to scramble up on the bed.

“Stevie remember how we talked about knocking? And you’re not listening to me at all, are you?” Roy sighed as he swung his legs over the far side of the bed and pulled his pants up. Danny had no chance to pull anything on, Stevie was not only on the bed but sitting happily on Danny’s stomach.

“Daddy! I found something cool! You gotta come see this!” the little girl had a big grin on her face as she waved her hands in the air. Stevie’s grin was an exact match for Danny’s (pre lip injections, of course). In fact Stevie was the spitting image of Adore, especially on the odd occasion her fathers put her in make up. Not only was the physical resemblance strong but both Stevie and Danny were two of the loudest people Roy had ever met.

A quiet knock at the open door caught Roy’s attention. He looked up to see blue eyed eight year old Sabrina shaking her head in exasperation. “Sorry dad, I tried to remind her to knock but…” she trailed off with a shrug, gesturing to the excited noises coming from the bed as Stevie and Danny talked about something Roy couldn’t quite catch.

Roy chuckled, “It’s okay, I understand my love. What were you two doing anyways? I thought we said goodnight an hour ago.”

Sabrina walked around the bed, giving it a wide berth. She had walked too close to the bed once during a similar situation just in time for Stevie to launch herself off the bed (much to her fathers horror) and land on not only her feet but her sister’s as well. “I showed her a book.”

Roy ached an eyebrow, “Why is she so excited about a book.”

Sabrina made a huffing noise as she crawled up on the bed to sit next to Roy. “There were no pictures in it.”

“You’re telling me your sister is losing her mind over a book, without pictures?” Roy could feel his eye start twitching.

Sabrina nodded, “Are you sure she’s really my sister?” she eyed Roy suspiciously.

Roy sighed, they had this conversation every few weeks. “Yes Rini, you both have the same mother, remember?” Roy remembered the initial thrill when they discovered that the surrogate they had used for Sabrina was more then happy to take on another pregnancy for the pair when they decided to expand their family a year and a half later.

“Are you really sure? Did you check?” Sabrina grilled her father as she watched Stevie and Danny (who had managed to pull pants on while he was distracted with Sabrina) rush out of the room to get a look at this ‘amazing book’ that Stevie had discovered.

“Yes Rini I’m a hundred percent sure she’s your sister. Besides she acts just like Dad, doesn’t she? I promise she’s part of this family.”

Sabrina frowned, “Whatever. I’m gonna go make sure they don’t break my stuff.” She hopped off the bed, her long twin braids floating behind her as she stormed off after them.

Roy fell back into bed and began laughing uncontrollably. He had no idea which part of the last five minutes he found so funny. The interrupted sex, Stevie’s excitement over a book without pictures or Sabrina’s continued irritation that her sister was insane.

Tears were streaming down his face, high pitched giggles still escaping him and abdominal muscles cramping when Danny returned.

“She’s nuts.” Danny proclaimed as he flopped down next to Roy.

A minute later, Roy managed to get his laughter under control. “Was she really that excited over a book with no pictures?”

Danny nodded, eyes wide in disbelief. “War and Peace! I didn’t know books could get that big! That shit’s more complicated then anything I ever read!”

Roy nodded, “Katya was reading it last time her and Trixie were over with their hellspawns. She probably forgot it here.” They almost always used drag names when referring to Brian and Brian just to save themselves the confusion.

Danny snorted, “Least we had time to breathe between kids. I don’t know how they managed 3 at once! Like who even has triplets?”

“Trixie and Katya do, poor bastards. If two teenage girls seems like a nightmare waiting to happen, imagine three hormonal teenage boys. The structural damage alone may just bankrupt them! If those two weren’t bald already that’s what would finally do it. Trying to figure out how much to add to the budget for household repairs every week.” Roy mused, choosing to ignore the fact that while he and Danny did in fact have one less kid, one of said kids shared genetic material with Danny. Roy hoped, not for the first time that Stevie calmed down as she got older. Last thing he needed was one of his daughters proudly proclaiming to be a ‘messy slut’. The thought of the generally sweet (if loud) Stevie strutting around in a mini skirt and low cut shirt made Roy shiver in fear.

“We’re never gonna have sex again, are we?” Danny half heartedly complained, lacing his fingers with Roy’s as they looked at each other with tired smiles on their faces.

Roy released Danny’s hand and rolled so he was on top of his husband. “So dramatic.” Roy teased as he captured Danny’s lips in a breath taking kiss.

It wasn’t long before Danny was a moaning, begging mess under him. Roy sighed in relief as he entered Danny roughly, rather pleased with himself for the broken sound that tore itself from Danny’s lips.

“DADDY!!!!”

“I’m taking her back!” Danny proclaimed loudly as Roy pulled away from him and managed to get their pants back on before Stevie came flying into their room again. This time she was screaming something about the ‘coolest bug ever!

Wasn’t parenting fun?

A/N Thank you to the annon who requested a kid fic where Roy and Danny keep getting interrupted. Swore I’d never write one of these but hey, here we are! I’m also tempted to continue this but for the moment it stands alone.

The girls names; Stevie is named for Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac fame and Sabrina is name for an alternative name for a boat neck collar. I know nothing about fashion so that’s what a quick Google search pulled up.

As for the teasing each other about which kid has which genes, it doesn’t mean they love either kid less then the other. I think most parents like to harass their partner about who is responsible for which less desirable trait their off spring demonstrates. Like when Sarabi says to Mufasa in The Lion King “Before sunrise, he’s your son.”

#rpdr fanfiction #biadore #adore delano #bianca del rio #canon compliant #parenting au #kid fic #married #fluff #almost smut #request fic #sarcastacnt

[mcatra]

AU where Catra works at burger king

Catra works minimum wage at burger king, Adora comes in every day as the world’s worst customer.

AO3 

‘I am being HARASSED.’ Catra groans, sprawling on her side of the register. ‘I’m begging you, just kill me.’ 

It was another slow afternoon at Burger King, or as she likes to call it the absolute shithole she only got minimum wage for. Catra could be out there living her life as a youthful teenager, instead she was serving chicken nuggets to her worst enemy- Adora. It didn’t help that said blonde was currently sitting in the corner, laughing obnoxiously with her friends she had replaced her with. 

‘Aw I’m sure Adora isn’t here to harass you, she probably just likes our food! I do cook these to perfection you know.’ Scorpia says conversationally from her spot in the kitchen as she flame broils another patty.

Catra scoffs, her eyes trained on her most hated customer. 

‘There has to be some sort of law against coming to one’s workplace every day! No one likes Burger King that much! NOBODY!’ 

Suddenly she sees Adora sit up from her chair, that makes a horrific screeching noise on their unmopped floor. 

‘Oh god she’s coming.’ Catra whispers, trying to duck into the kitchen. ‘Scorpia! Hide me!’ 

Her friend shoves her back to the counter, as Adora approaches. ‘You’re the only one on this shift who is allowed to use the register-’

‘Do not make me serve her I swear to god-’

‘Hi Catra.’ Adora smiles, and Catra’s eyes narrow. 

‘Whatchu want, princess?’ She sneers, avoiding her piercing blue eyes that reminded her of still lakes. Or swirling oceans. Or the fluffy white cloud bath bombs from Lush. Wait, no.

‘Mmm, can I get a strawberry sundae?’ Adora chirps, looking above her at the menu. 

‘Can’t.’ Catra drawls, looking at her black painted nails. ‘The machine’s broken.’

Adora’s face falls in disappointment, and Catra cheers inwardly at her small victory until Scorpia’s voice cuts through their conversation.

‘That’s not true, the soft serve machine is fine.’ Her traitor friend says, pulling down on the lever and swirling a perfect sundae into the cup. She adds the syrup before handing it to Adora.

‘That’ll be $1.50.’

‘Thanks Scorpia.’ Adora smiles, rummaging through her purse to collect her coins.

Catra rolls her eyes. 

‘What a cheap ass. Little rich girl can only afford a dollar-fifty ice cream? No wonder we’re running out of business.’ 

Adora frowns at this. ‘Did you want a tip or something?’ 

‘What? FUCK no. I don’t take charity.’ Catra scoffs, snatching the coins from her old childhood-friend-to-enemies palm. She swiftly jabs in the total and throws the coins into the drawer. They’re forced into silence as the receipt slowly prints, and she tries to ignore the way Adora is staring at her. 

Suddenly Adora leans in close, and she can hear her murmur close to her ear.

‘I’ll see you at student council.’

Catra flushes at the proximity, every hair standing on end. Before she can stutter out an insult, Adora rips the receipt from the machine and is sauntering back to Bow and Glimmer. 

The brown haired girl deflates, her nails scratching on the old countertop. All that mental damage, for $1.50? Life was not fair. 

Adora always had the perfect grades, the perfect family and friends, the most cushy and royal upbringing. After their falling out involving a scholarship to a private school, they hadn’t spoken until the merger. 

It filled Catra with sick pleasure that the private school had lost their prestige to embezzled money, and now had to be government funded. However in consequence of this, they had decided to merge the public and private school so they could sell off the land to build skyrises or something. 

This meant Catra lost her position of School Captain to Adora after a fierce election, and had been demoted to Vice Captain. Not to mention no matter how hard Catra tried, she could never beat her in the school rankings. She couldn’t work to support herself and study 6 hours a day, like rich privileged Adora. 

So now here she was, forced to interact with the one person she could’ve gone her whole life without seeing on a daily basis. 

Ever since Adora had discovered Catra had been working at Burger King during a late night drive-thru run, her ex best friend had made it her life’s mission to make her life hell. 

Of course she had done her best to make the experience awful to drive her away. Catra knew Adora hated pickles, so she would threaten Kyle to slice up an entire pickle’s worth in the blonde’s Whopper before giving it to her with a sweet smile. She is filled with glee watching Adora picking them out one by one in disgust. 

This doesn’t stop Adora from coming though. Not even when they had made it into some sort of competition to see how many pickles could physically be crammed into a bun. Or even when she had put every single condiment including the salt and pepper into an unholy liquid concoction and served it in a cola cup. Not even when she gave Adora food poisoning when they got too carried away trying to stack as many patties as they could to recreate Sky Burger. 

No matter what she did, the girl never went away. Even though she had so easily disappeared from her life when she had needed her the most. But she didn’t need Adora, she had gotten this job herself, she had gotten a roof over her head with her own power. She had worked so hard to become independent from Shadow Weaver, and no matter what, Adora will not jeopardize it. 

--

‘I’m doing, what exactly?’ 

Catra stares dumbly at her manager, a sinking feeling dawning on her.  

‘Adora ordered a birthday party at Burger King.’ Lonnie drawls, ignoring the look of complete horror on Catra’s face.

‘No, you can’t do this to me! Roster me for any other day. I cannot psychologically take this.’ She begs. 

‘Sorry dude, the deposit has already been paid for. We’re short staffed, and it seems like Kyle has gotten fryer oil burns from your last burger experiment with Adora.’ Lonnie whaps Catra with the birthday catering pamphlet. 

‘Stupid Kyle.’ Catra hisses, clenching it in her fist. Curse this damn place that can only afford to hire teenagers. 

‘Anyway, just set up the tables and decorations after school on Thursday. Should be a good day for business, with Adora and her posse being rich kids and all.’

‘Can I at least get time and a half?’ 

‘Are you gonna be paying Kyle’s medical bill?’

Catra pouts. ‘Not my fault you guys don’t provide gloves. This place is an OSHA violation haven.’ 

WE do the PLANNING, YOU have the FUN! The bold font emblazoned over the small child’s smiling face mocks her from the pamphlet. Catra clenches it in her fist. 

‘Also why the fuck did she book a kid’s birthday party package when she is like 17, and not 6 years old?!’ 

Lonnie rolls her eyes. ‘Do you still want a job or not? Just read the rest of the form, counting on you to organize it.’ 

Catra squints at the crumpled paper in her hand. 

GOLD PARTY PACKAGE

-Themed birthday cards!

-Party bags!

-Birthday gift for the celebrant!

-Jumbo birthday cake!

-Pinata!

-Special birthday songs!

-Dedicated hostess!

Catra can feel her soul physically leave her body. This was gonna be a long week.

-

It was terrible.

Adora had handed these obnoxious Burger King birthday invitations to all her friends, so now she had all these RSVP’s to the worst birthday of all of human history. In between working shifts until midnight, dealing with Adora at student council and not eating, Catra was on edge. 

‘No, you can not write ‘Die Adora Die’ on her cake.’ Scorpia chides, slapping Catra’s hands away to pipe the icing. 

‘It’s what she deserves.’ Catra seethes. If she couldn’t eat it, she could at least ruin it, right? 

‘They’ll be here soon, so try to take that dying grimace off your face.’ Scorpia replies, and Catra rolls her eyes before adding the finishing touches to the cake. 

Suddenly the door opens, interrupting her decorating. The once quiet establishment was now full of loud chatter as their classmates piled in one by one. All of Adora’s old private school friends were here, all unironically celebrating their school captain’s children’s birthday party at the worst fast food restaurant in their state. 

She plasters her fakest customer service smile she can muster. Dignity at the door. 

‘Hi, you must be here for the Birthday Girl’s party.’ Catra says, approaching the group. Just treat it like you don’t know them.

‘Aw you don’t have to be so formal with us, Vice Captain.’ Glimmer teases, and Catra almost snaps from her facade. Almost.

‘Let me show you to your table.’ Catra grits out. 

She had chosen the ugliest poop brown balloons she could find, and had deliberately made the HAPPY BIRTHDAY banner lopsided on the wall.

‘Thanks Catra!’ Adora grins, bouncing past her to admire the decorations. 

Catra imagines Adora’s face on the pinata and smashing it into a million pieces. She forces herself to take a deep breath. It was just the one shift, and she really needed this job. Plus after the party was over, she could probably nab some leftovers for her trouble. 

All of the girls (plus Bow and Seahawk) sit around the table, and Catra marches over with the laminated menus. 

‘Ooh, we all get hats!’ Perfuma says, placing her Burger King cardboard crown on top of her head.

Frosta squints at the menu. ‘I’ve never eaten fast food before. Looks disgusting.’

‘I think it’s fine! Adora wanted to eat here.’ Glimmer says in a sugarly sweet tone that just came off as passive aggressive. ‘Even though I had suggested my penthouse by the ocean and we go here nearly every day.’

‘I much rather would be at the ocean beach house thank you very much.’ Mermista retorts, swatting Sea Hawk off her shoulder.

Yeah me too, Catra thinks bitterly. She stomps off with their orders, cursing them inwardly the entire way to the kitchen.

Adora’s friends start playing with the so-called ‘entertainment’ they had haphazardly set up. 

It was ridiculous, seeing grown teenagers lining up to try to smack the shit out of a glittery pinata. They squabble over who gets to hit it first, Catra feeling very much like a glorified babysitter to her most hated enemies. 

After a while, she sees Scorpia emerge from the kitchen. ‘Happy Birthday to you,’ Scorpia sings with Adora’s birthday cake in her arms. ‘Happy Birthday to you~’ 

The others join in on the song, Catra only mouthing the words in silent rebellion. The cake is emblazoned with a crude doodle of Adora’s face with HAPPY BIRTHDAY written on her enormous forehead. 

‘Oh my gosh, I love it!’ Adora’s sky blue eyes light up, and she’s practically sparkling. Catra huffs, she wasn’t supposed to like it. Didn’t she see the drawing was supposed to make fun of her five-head? 

Adora catches Catra’s eye, beaming. ‘Did you draw this for me?’ 

‘She did!’ Scorpia tattles, and her enemy’s smile increased tenfold. Catra can feel her cheeks grow warm. Dammit. 

‘Whatever.’ Catra bites out, unable to meet her gaze.  

Luckily no one else seemed to be paying attention to the weird atmosphere between them, as they were split between eyeing the cake and pinata wrestling. 

‘Get over here Sea Hawk, we can do the pinata later!’ Mermista chastises, watching Bow spin her blindfolded boyfriend. 

‘Let me just get one good hit in, and I’ll join you!’ He crows, swinging the bat in random directions as Bow ducks the blows, laughing. 

Just for anything to do, Catra takes it upon herself as hostess to snatch up the knife and start cutting. She cuts into the cake to start portioning out the slices, but as the knife touches the bottom Glimmer lets out a shriek. 

‘What?’ Catra deadpans.

‘If you cut to the bottom of the cake, you have to kiss the person closest to you!’ Glimmer says, a demonic look in her eye. Adora elbows her, embarrassed. 

‘Excuse me?’ Catra’s never heard of this tradition. Though to be fair, she had not been to many parties in her lifetime. 

‘Oh, that’s right!’ Perfuma claps her hands together. ‘Adora’s closest right? Go ahead Catra!’

To her horror, Glimmer starts pushing Catra towards the blonde. She digs her heels into the linoleum, only to find that she was sliding from the newly mopped floors. 

‘Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!’ The girls start chanting, like they were her friends and that she wasn’t their damn server.

‘What the hell- fuck no, let go of me!’ Catra finally snaps, wrenching herself from Glimmer’s grip. 

The momentum sends her stumbling into Sea Hawk, who was still attempting to hit the pinata. 

‘Ack!’ He squawks. 

The bat goes flying straight out his hand and into their double doors. There’s a huge crash, and everybody winces at the noise. 

The glass pane shatters, and so does Catra’s sanity. She was so fired. 

Sea Hawk lifts the blindfold. 

‘Did I get it?’ 

---

It was nearly closing time, and Catra was still sweeping up bits of glass from the floor. This had been one of the worst days of her life, and she had been beaten and homeless before. To make it worse, Adora was still grovelling when she should’ve gone hours ago like the rest of them. 

‘I am so sorry Catra, I’ll pay for everything, I’ll take full responsibility so you don’t get fired-’ 

‘Stop it.’ She was too tired to even argue with Adora like she usually did, wishing Adora would just go away already so she could grovel over the phone to her regional manager without an audience. Catra always pretended to hate her job, but she couldn’t afford to lose it. She could barely make rent with her Burger King wage. 

‘Please, let me help clean. It was my fault anyway.’

There was hardly any money left over to feed herself most days, that’s why she was skinny as a rake as opposed to the toned, buff, well fed Adora. She had only been functioning on a few nuggets that Scorpia snuck her yesterday. Did Catra still have those food coupons? How long until the bank charged overdraft fees? 

‘Catra are you listening-’ 

‘I said stop it!’ Catra snaps. 

Adora has the audacity to look stunned. 

‘Why do you insist on harassing me at work everyday? Is it fun? Forcing me to play servant to you rich girls, to sing and dance for you? You already beat me in everything at school, you’re already School Captain, you have all the money and a loving family you need, so can you stop rubbing your privilege in my face just for one second so I can THINK?’ 

‘I...I just…I’m sorry.’ Adora starts and aborts a few sentences. Catra can’t even stand to look at her face. 

‘This party at your work. It was the only way to get you to celebrate my birthday with me.’ 

‘.....’

‘Um, I-’

‘Whatever.’ Catra retorts, trying and failing to pick up the last shards with her too long fingernails. She hisses when the glass nicks her finger, cutting into skin. Drops of blood fall to the floor.

‘Are you okay?!’ Adora gasps, rushing to her side. Catra slaps her hand away, she needed to go find the cleaning supplies. Blood was a biohazard, there was some protocol for it but she was having trouble remembering. 

She goes to stand up, but the fatigue rushes to her head and her legs give in underneath her. Instead of smacking her head against the floor, she feels herself land on something soft instead. 

Adora hooks her around the waist, gently placing her into the booth. She grabs a napkin from the dispenser and wraps it around Catra’s hand. She can feel Adora’s warm hand squeezing her own. 

‘I’m just applying pressure to the cut.’ Adora says quietly. 

Catra just closes her eyes. It’s well past midnight and she should be locking up the store, but she can’t bring herself to move. 

#she-ra #she ra #spop #catradora #catra #adora #burger king au

[skellebonez]

Smoke, Flasks, and Unfinished Tasks: Chapter 6

AO3 Link!

Chapter 1 Link!, Chapter 2 Link!, Chapter 3 Link!, Chapter 4 Link!, Chapter 5 Link!

Summary: Revelations. History. Collision.

Warnings: Descriptions canonical violence in Journey To The West, smoking and drug use on others.

Author’s note: So... this was supposed to be up on Saturday last week... I thought I had posted it, but due to issues offline I had completely forgotten. But I went over this chapter, edited it, and moved some things from it into the next chapter for a better flow and therefore it is a smidgen short! (No special spoilers here.)

Chapter 6: Knew you weren’t human but who’d guess?

“Jin! Jin, what’s happening!?” MK yelled, watching as the Gold Demon in the form of his mentor fell to his knees and screamed. His entire form glitched and rippled as the world around them shook and shook and shook so hard that they could barely keep on their feet. The world rippled around them, wisps of pieces of the ground and building glitching in front and between them blocking their vision. “JIN!”

The demon didn’t reply, the longer he screamed the more none of the trio was even certain that he could, curling into himself and bending at the waist so much that his forehead dug into the ground beneath him. And suddenly the shaking was gone while the pained screaming remained.

“What is happening!?” Mei whirled around in the hopes of seeing anything that could give them a hint as to what was happening. “W-what the hell?”

No one was reacting. Every single fake person in the Calabash city just kept on going about their day as if the visage of the Monkey King doubled over and screaming in agony wasn’t in front of them at all.

“Oh please,” a voice rang out from all around them. “Did you think I wouldn’t catch on? No cheating allowed in my little game you four.”

The trio looked at each other with wide eyes. They didn’t recognize this voice at all. It was feminine, that was much was certain, smooth and calm like nothing was happening at all and it was spoken as if through the opening to a vast cave that made it vibrate the very air surrounding them.

“What did you do to Jin!?” MK yelled back, kneeling down to put a hand on his back. Jin’s screams had begun to die down and now he was shaking violently, though whether it was because whatever had caused him to start screaming had stopped or if it was because he physically could not anymore.

“Just a little incentive for him to cooperate while I do a little something something,” the voice rang out again, a high pitched and haughty chuckle following soon after. “It’s amazing what these two little buffoons have managed to create while being sooooo bad at figuring out how to actually use it. Almost as clever as growing little kits.”

“Kits?” Red Son muttered, looking to the sky and narrowing his gaze.

“Shit...” Jin suddenly groaned out, not getting up from his place on the ground. “What did you do to me?” He tried to turn his head but didn’t seem to have the energy to do so and the sight of this happening with Sun Wukong’s face made MK feel sick to his stomach.

“Incentive, I said,” The voice sounded exasperated now, a low drawn out groan sounding out. “You should be very familiar with it by now, though this batch is more of the paralyzing variety than the sleeping one so maybe it should be expected for you to not realize what I had blown into your secret little calabash.”

Vapor. The voice was most definitely Vapor, or whoever was hiding behind that moniker. The realization they had had been caught before their plan to escape could even really start sent ice cold shudders down all of their spines.

“How did you even k-”

“You thought I actually left?” Vapor cut Mei off with a tut, and suddenly the world started shaking violently for a few seconds before calming down. “I wouldn’t be dumb enough to turn my back on these two for a second, they may not be the best plotters but they’re not dumb. No no no, I knew they had a little something up their sleeve. That’s why I pretended to leave. Muuuuuuch easier to deal with one of them than both of them, less costly in supplies as well.”

“What did you do to my brother!?” Jin screeched, just barely managing to push himself to his feet with a snarl that dissipated instantly. “Wh-what... did you do to me?”

“You like it?” Vapor giggled this time, still high and haughty. “Why wear the face of Sun Wukong remotely when you can just be him instead? Much easier to keep track of you when you’re all in one place...” The sound of a crunch could be heard, ringing in all their ears as Jin’s face dropped in horror at the realization that it had been the calabash he was originally in. And no longer in. “As for your brother he is taking a much needed nap. He’s veeeery comfy I can assure you, very safe. Safer than you will be.”

“You let us out of here right now you damned fox!” Jin yelled, finding his anger just in time for a whooshing sound and smoke to start billowing from the sky and to surround them. “Aw shit, no! No, cover your mouths!”

The warning came far too let, the smoke seeping into their mouths and eyes before the trio could even attempt to cover them. They coughed and gagged on the sickly sweet and bitter taste on their tongues, eyes burning and tears failing to relieve them.

“F-fox?” Red Son coughed out, trying his best to remain standing and failing miserably as he joined the others in the ground in only a few seconds. “It’s n-not possible, you’re-!”

“Dead?” Vapor’s voice rang out again as a form glitched in front of them, a patchwork tapestry of people before eventually forming a whole person who’s face lit up as Red’s fell into one of horror and recognition. “Awww, you do know me! I was afraid your father had never kept any of my portraits.”

She stepped forward, tall and regal and draped in rich silken robes of old fashion. Hair half up with intricate pins and a jade comb, the tell tale giveaways of a fox spirit showing in her long tail and large ears.

Princess Jade Face knelt down, smile softening even though no kindness shown through it as she cupped Red Son’s face in her hands. “Oh my dear little kit, I am terribly sorry you had to meet your step-mother like this.”

----------

Thunder and lighting surrounded them, electricity and bangs that could shake the ground itself the backdrop to their battle. Princess Jade Face gritted her teeth, growling low in her throat. If she knew this is what would become of her after moving from being the demon Bull King’s concubine to his second wife she would have never taken the chance.

“This altitude ain’t the only thing I got over you!” That damned pig, Zhu Bajie, yelled from the rocky alcove above her with a wickedly proud smirk. He swung his rake, mythical energies emanating from it in a clear warning to stay away. She couldn’t afford to listen to that warning, not if she wanted to keep her position. She’d worked so hard to gain the bull’s favor and she wouldn’t just give it up now.

“Big words traveler, but can you back them up?” Jade Face snarled, allowing her fangs and claws to morph in. Damn this pig for forcing her to reveal herself. Damn that monkey for demanding the fan. Damn the monk, the fish, the dragon-horse! Damn them all!

“Oh I can back them up and than some, show me what you got!” With a yell the pig leapt off the rocks.

“Gladly, your journey ends here with me!” She leapt forward in turn, allowing her herself to fully become her fox-woman form. She grabbed the rake before it made contact with her skull, swinging it and it’s owner to the other side of the field.

“Knew you weren’t human but who’d guess?” The pig sneered, swinging the rake again to show off. “A fox spirit all along. Doesn’t matter what you are though, this rake will rend your soul regardless!”

Oh, rend her soul would it? Not without a fight! Jade Face dropped to all fours, running around Zhu Bajie and cartwheeling once behind him to catch him off guard and kick his legs out from under him.

She lengthened her claws, swinging down to gore at his throat before the blunt end of the rake slammed into her stomach and sent her flying with no air left in her lungs. Barely landing on her feet she just managed to catch the pig lunging at her with nine teeth aimed right at her face, falling back just in time to be missed. She rolled, kicking him in the stomach in retribution and grabbed one of his ears to bite at his neck.

That’s when she felt all nine of those barely missed teeth sink into her back.

She froze, jolting only when they were pulled out and the pig moved to let her fall face down into the dirt.

“Gotta admit,” she heard him say distantly, growing further and further away. He was leaving, no doubt to return to his master and companions. “You ain’t half bad. No match for me, but still not half bad. Maybe if I ever end up in the underworld we could have a rematch.”

Rematch. Rematch, that word spun around in her head as she laid in the dirt. Warm blood seeping from her wounds and painting her back in a deep red. A rematch.

‘He will get much more than a rematch some day,’ Jade Face thought to herself as she finally moved once she was sure he had left, crawling through the field to hide away and lick her wounds. ‘He’ll learn not to leave things unfinished.’

----------

Princess Jade Face leaned back in her chair, hands typing wildly at the keyboard in front of her as she turned the memory over in her head. She watched the chaos unfold on the screens before her, a smile forming on her lips as she finally turned away to empty her smoking pipe to fill it with another concoction of her own making.

Yes. Zhu Bajie would learn not to leave things unfinished.

Zhu Bajie would learn the hard way.

She was sorry for getting Red Son involved, but her husband... well. Not him.

#the whole time i wrote her I was thinking of cindy robinson's voice #and I have no idea why #queen beryl maybe? #monkie kid #lego monkie kid #fanfic #sfaut #smoke flasks and unfinished tasks #mk #Qi Xiaotian #mei #Long Xiaojiao #red son #traffic light trio #jin #villain shall remain unspoiled

[naivesilver]

@bewilderedmoth​ FINE. Fine. Since today is a Monday and therefore a day much more suited for a vitriolic commentary on terrible insects, I shall fulfill your request and the anon’s. I’m warning everyone in the premises, though -  this is a “no fucks given” list, so it may get ugly at any time. Also, as usual, this is only for things that I’ve already watched, so if you know of some cricket horror and don’t see it mentioned, assume I’ve yet to get to that specific adaptation.

Alright then! To the barricades!

1) Disney’s Pinocchio (1940)

The first of his genre. Look at this asshole - he’s literally the last creature I’d entrust my child to. The fact Pinocchio had to spend his first couple days of life with this guy shadowing his every step is mind-boggling, and it’s made even worse by the fact that the Blue Fairy put him in charge of another man’s kid, as though she had the right to make that choice.

(I won’t fall for the desire of dunking on the Fairy more, as this is a Cricket list, but believe me, the temptation is there. It always is.)

As Disney sidekicks go, he’s one of the worst. He’s not funny, and despite having literally ONE job he manages to fail spectacularly at it. He’s snappish at Pinocchio, he abandons his charge about two hours into the new day, he spends a much longer time flirting with female-presenting inanimate objects/animals/supernatural beings than doing any actual childrearing. He should have been forgotten the instant the movie left the theaters, but instead Disney made him one of his main mascots, giving him the role of storyteller or ghost or whatever the fuck they need him to do at the time. So not only is he single-handedly responsible for every other entry in this list, I keep finding him everywhere I turn my eyes to. A knock-off version of his Ghost of Christmas Past self was in the new Ducktales, too, so my friend freenklin (who already has had to endure many of my complaints) received some VERY disappointed scream-texts as I was liveblogging my watch.

Just...no. Get him out of my sight.

(Also Ewan McGregor is bound to voice him in the live action and like??? Excuse me??? Are we supposed to not make Obi Wan jokes??? Will he abandon his young padawan Pinocchio to the evil Strombolitroopers???)

2) Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night (1987)

This movie is at the bottom of my Pinocchio adaptation ranking, and boy, does it deserve the dishonor. The story is a weird mixture of adaptation and sequel, approximately a tenth of the characters actually appear in the book, and I can’t forgive them for ruining what could have been the coolest concept ever (Pinocchio as a pawn in a fight of good vs evil) into this disgrace of a cartoon.

As for the Cricket, in this case he’s not even a cricket. He’s a glowworm, and he’s a goddamn puppet too, to whom the Fairy gave life. I wonder, is the entirety of her job just...transforming people’s creations into sentient beings so that they can lead others to a honest life? Tell me, ma’am, do you want to breathe life into my disappointing Powerpoint presentations too, so that they might bully me into graduating?

Anyway, if you’re wondering what purpose Gee Willikers (sigh) serves, the answer is NONE. Pinocchio gets rid of him at least twice (good for him) and as easily as drinking a glass of water, he’s a burden to the (admittedly cooler) additional characters, like the aviator bee, and not only is he ugly as fuck, but also so annoying every time he gets a chance to speak that it’s a miracle he wasn’t cut out in post-production.

In short, disgusting. If he entered my home I’d swat him with a flycatcher until he leaves.

3) Pinocchio (2009)

This is essentially Disney’s Jiminy Cricket, but female, anthropomorphic, and with a passion for books instead of pretty ladies or ladies-adjacent objects. Mind you, a sapphic Cricket would perhaps have saved more than one adaptation, this one included, but I’m glad they skipped that part altogether. This miniseries has enough issues as it is.

I’m sorry, she’s just too annoying. Luciana Littizzetto can be funny, but in small doses, otherwise her jokes start to become repetitive. Two hours straight - and yes, it’s that much, because SOMEONE decided to follow Disney’s footsteps a little too well - are too long even for the strongest of hearts. Plus, none of the characters’ costumes are very flattering, accurate or well-made (except for Lampwick 💖), but hers just might take the cake. It looks like a mixture between a teenager’s first attempt at steampunk fashion and a Mardi Gras costume lifted from the discarded items’ bin at a cheap store. Takes you out of the fantasy more than anything else.

4) Roberto Benigni’s Pinocchio (2002)

I’ve talked at length of the weirdness of this movie, but all in all it’s a pretty accurate transposition of the story, from the dialogue to the scenery.

Except for him.

The Cricket in this case does appear in the scenes belonging to him, but ALSO in a long and extremely useless sequence where he tries to find Pinocchio in the Land of Toys and gets kicked around by literally everyone present. Don’t get me wrong, that’s something I would have liked to do as well, but it was totally unnecessary, and it gave nothing to the overall story. This movie still holds the record as the most expensive Italian movie ever made, so wouldn’t it have been better for everybody to  skip that part entirely? Not only it would have saved them some money, but also it would have saved me from seeing this guy for an additional fifteen minutes on my screen.

Still, pretty tame compared to some of the others. Could have been worse.

5) Once Upon A Time (2011)

I debated long and hard before making this choice, and I’m not putting him in with a light heart, but before you come at me with pitchforks, please listen.

I like Archie, okay! He’s a fun character, the human side of his backstory was great and gave him a lot of depth and inner turmoil, and the concept of Jiminy Cricket being a therapist is amazing and hilarious. But he’s kind of a shit therapist, whose actions aren’t always what you’d expect from someone who’s supposed to be a conscience and a guide. And despite the show giving us the impression that he and Pinocchio had the same adventures as in the Disney movie (which doesn’t exactly endear him to me - if it wasn’t for his later character development he’d already be Lil Nas X-ing his way down to the bottom of my list), he and August never interacted on screen after the First Curse broke. Not once. And if there’s someone who needs therapy and support, that’s August Wayne Booth.

Yes, I did say at some point that I’d like to fix this in a fic. I’ll write it when I don’t have like eight projects on my table at the same time.

Finally, two scenes settled the matter for me: one, him pontificating at Snow about her trying to do everything on her own, without even pretending to help her set up the stroller she was struggling with at that very moment. I work with kids every day, I know exactly what she’s going through. Shut your mouth and open the damn stroller, Archie.

And two...That one fucking scene where he’s jumping out of Snow White’s cleavage. Honestly, what the fuck??? I wouldn’t even have remembered it if Libby hadn’t reminded me, so I suppose my brain tried to remove the traumatic memory before it caused any further damage, but it exists, and I’m still wondering why. What exactly was the deal with the writers, when they made that choice? I want a glass of what they were having, because by God, does it sound like a trip-inducing cocktail.

Aaaand we’re done! Remember, this is all part of my personal opinion, and I’m not to be taken seriously even on the best of days. Plus, my favorite cricket-esque character, aside from the book-accurate ones, is Gina from Piccolino no Bouken, who is a duck, a sassy little bastard and no closer to Collodi’s canon than any of these fuckers. So yes, when it comes to choices dictated by the heart, I am an hypocrite. Au revoir!

#the amount of time I spent of this is not comparable to the lampwick post #but it's still A LotTM for a cricket rant #meme gif included #pinocchio

[theteej]

“You need to take serious time for yourself, do self-care, or something,” my best friend Mark said to me, uncomfortably earnestly. 

“I’m serious.  You haven’t been letting anything in, and you just have to sit and stop running.  Go process, or feel, or just let it sink in that you did things and you surprisingly don’t suck.”

Fuck, he’s right.

And so that’s what I’m doing.  Last week I booked an Airbnb in La Jolla, a tony coastal enclave of San Diego near where I went to undergrad.  I pretended I was on vacation, but in a pandemic.  I booked a small studio near the water, and planned to spend these next few days reading, reflecting, walking along the ocean, and staying otherwise indoors and trying to wrestle with this whole semester.  I pulled up to the studio last night, unpacked my bags, and cried.  Like cried a lot.  I felt lonely and scared, but also so numb.  I felt a sea of blankness all around me, and a sense of trepidation.

Honestly, I don’t know what to do about all of my stupid feelings.

 

Where to start?

 

I feel like I’ve been anxious nearly my whole life.  It’s absolutely something that developed as a kid with a violent, drunken father.  You learn to live in between heartbeats like that, always testing what’s about to happen, trying to think of the next thing to plan in order to stay safe.  Sure, your brain says tauntingly.  Things are OK right now, but what if they’re not in a few minutes?  Or even worse: Things ARE terrible—what are you going to do if they stay that way forever?  These are the gifts Tyrone Tallie Sr left me, along with an unoriginal legal name and a stubborn widows peak visible whenever I grow my hair out for a few weeks.

Couple that with a natural tendency to think quickly, and you have the birth of a personality that masked my calculating self-security by turning those constant permutations into clever moments for interaction or comment.  Like many people, my wit is born of trauma; the ability to process things in quick time is born out of needing to feel safe, and frequently gets deployed to put others at ease.  That’s one of the weirder contradictory things about being me.  I am simultaneously witty and clever and in control, and I am also always quietly freaking out, or at the very least, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Which is why this has been….a damn semester.  Teaching two classes fully remotely with panicked, overwhelmed students in the shadow of an ever-worsening pandemic that stretches on and on without end and feeling daily gaslighted by the endless selfishness of your fellow citizens—what a gift for the anxious.  Ironically, anxiety helped to a certain extent because I didn’t have the shock of falling into a new world of uncertainty or fear that so many non-anxious folk did this year.  But that’s hardly a gift, is it?  Congratulations! You’re already living as if a bomb can go off at any moment, so you’re not struggling to adjust to the new horror show of life!

Teaching this semester has been…just without any context.  I’ve taught online, but not in this same planned way and with everyone panicking, and the looming threat of pandemic and election.  And yet we did it.  We pulled ourselves together, and my students were honest about their needs and their breakdowns and I tried to model humility and grace and confusion and rage as well as they did.  We didn’t fuck it up.  Or, we all fucked up, and it was okay.  We learned things. Students surprised me, and it was glorious.  I got to be broken and I didn’t die.

It was an intense semester of overworking as well.  I was on a bunch of committees, formal and informal, and we managed to get a new minor—African Studies—passed.  I’ll be heading a new program on campus next year, and that’s exciting and terrifying.  And on top of all of that, I couldn’t stop volunteering for stuff, or talking about things I cared about.  In addition to teaching, I gave fourteen different presentations or talks this semester, an increase in expectations or agreements on my part thanks to the ubiquity of zoom.  It grinds on you: the whole, get up, trudge to the back room, power up a personality for the zoom camera, and pour yourself digitally into a screen, only to feel yourself broken into little packets of light and data and scattered across the universe.

The talks went well.  The student evaluations went well.  Honestly, both were fucking great.  And I haven’t let myself feel a goddamn thing.  I let it slide off me like rain on a waxed deck, the droplets beading on the slick wood before slipping away into the darkness.  I cant let it sink in, because then something good might be happening, and the very skills that have made me capable—the whip-fast reflexes, the self-deprecating humour, the rapid analysis—are also tied to the very deep-seeded anxiety. Everything has to be calculated and understood and prepared for, because at some moment a dark curtain is going to fall over the face of a man with my same name. He will smack me so hard I will go flying out of a chair and hit the wall with a soft, sickly whump, a particularly unpleasant of me at seven that I carry sewn into every cell of my skin and fiber of my being. 

I can’t stop and let it sink in because I have internalized the worst calculus of overachiever life—push harder, don’t stop for the good, that’s normal.  Stop only for the bad to learn from it, take in its horror, and let it never happen to you again.  And so I found myself at the end of the semester holding a bag of relative joy like a party favour, looking around anxiously for bullies to come snatch it out of my hands.

And then Jeopardy fucking happened.

I got to be on television. I got to talk to Alex Trebek, the same man who held my grandmother’s hand on Classic Concentration and saw that her for the beautiful, formidable queen that she was. I got to turn silly trivia knowledge into cash—and I got to do it while being me. And to my confusion—people liked me.  It went well, they felt I resonated with something inside of them, and they liked it.

I do not, in my own skill set, have the tools to deal with that.  I am supposed to be clever and fast, and witty, and engaging and lovable—but I do not know how to actually think of receiving goodness.  I know how to process being witty and clever and delightful—I did what I was supposed to do, good job, next—but I don’t know how to actually take that positivity in.

I keep waiting for all of this to fall apart, for everyone to hate me in the reassuring ways that I distrust or marginalize or disbelieve myself.  And yet, I know that’s not helpful.  Hence, overachiever’s therapy: forcing oneself to prematurely trade on prize money and spend a three day love/relaxation retreat, less than fifteen miles from my own apartment.

I woke up and cried a little.  I then tried to mediate or at least focus on the positives of late.  Nope. Nothing came.  I decided it was time for coffee.  I drank some that I made in the Airbnb, but realized I needed to get outside for a walk.  I changed into a bright yellow caftan and an extra-dramatic face mask, and went for a walk on the streets of La Jolla, the bougie and strange bubble by the sea.

La Jolla can double in weird ways like other parts of the world I frequent.  It feels sometimes like I’m in Durban (if you’re more partial to Umhlanga Rocks or Durban North) or Wellington (if you love Mount Vic or Oriental Bay), or even Vancouver (if you feel like West Point Grey or the haughtiest parts of Kitsilano are your thing).  It’s a rich place, one that I don’t belong in, but one that I can feign a few hours of enjoyment and sun.

Today I walked down palm tree lined streets in the perfect weather, the breeze pushing through my still-short hair with a strange urgency.  I picked up a cold brew coffee and a freshly caught and grilled halibut sandwich that my therapist recommended (we decided to briefly be pescatarian for a day and chalked it up to the ‘medical advice.’), then I turned toward the coast.  I sat for a long time looking at the waves—unsurprisingly—with a bit of anxiety. 

What if I relaxed WRONG?  What if I couldn’t let myself feel joy?  What if I just wasted the day by…eating this sandwich and not fully appreciating the beautiful ocean waves, golden sun, or nature all around me.  After a while I realized that sounded ridiculous, and just forced myself to sit.

And as the old Zulu language dance song “Unamanga” by the late Patricia Majalisa started to filter to my headphones, as I stared out at the sea and the sun, something shifted.  I felt something like, I don’t know, a failure in the sealnt around myself, and some drops dripped in, slowly.  Maybe, just maybe, I didn’t have to do this in a grand gesture.  I could enjoy myself and the small joys I’d found in life so far. 

I could be grateful and quietly glad for the little things that happened.  It wasn’t about deserving it, or about it being worthy of me.  I could imagine for right now, that this was a thing that I could have.  I could sit and marvel that some great shit happened to me, and it was OK.  Let’s not get it twisted—I didn’t have an epiphany, there were no turnbacks on the road to Emmaus.  But I did find a little quietude in my soul for a second and stopped frantically Teflon-ing my heart from joy for a second.

I survived a hell semester, and did well. I got a wonderful opportunity and it went well.  I could just let hat happen and also not ignore that it happened, to focus on negatives in an outsized way.  I could, in this single afternoon moment, be delighted that things had gone okay.  And not worry or strategize about the next disaster, which would happen on its own anyway.  And…that’s all I can do right now.

Also, I’m going to work on this more, this whole letting people love me and letting it sink in.  I usually avoid it because I feel like it keeps me off my game from the inevitable disaster to follow.  But that’s not how I want to live.  I’m going to try to think about what it means that some of you all tell me you love me, and then to show it.  I need to reconcile the nonstop whirligig of my mind also turns menacingly in on itself so often, and that acknowledging the gift of calculated wit and mirth also means I have to cultivate love and joy.

So tomorrow, I’m going to go for a brief run, I’m going to drink some lovely coffee, and I’m going to walk along the ocean again.  (And then I’m going to keep staying in this Airbnb so I don’t catch or spread this plague.)

 

What a fucking semester, y’all.

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

I rewatched Girls’ Last Tour episode 12, and before I actually talk about it, Wikipedia lists this episode as 2 minisodes - being Connection and Friends, but I cannot for the life of me find the title card for Connection in the episode. Apparently the last like 3 minutes or something are Friends, but the Friends title card comes after a like 17 minute sequence but before the fade to black, which since it’s before the fade to black implies that what came before was Friends. And then those last 3 minutes would be without a title card. Is this just a TV/BD thing? Cause I’ve been watching the TV cut. I don’t fuckin know dudes. I guess I’ll just go along with Wikipedia’s order for ease of writing.

So Connection ends up being a very long minisode that’s packed with a lot of different things. And I think the first sort of big thing among those things is really great! Chi and Yuu manage to sync their camera up with the submarine’s computer, and are able to see all the photos they took at once because of it. Cool, cute, nice reminder of the fun we’ve had, etc. But we go a step further back and see Kanazawa’s photos, and then we take further steps backwards to see several photos and videos from before whatever apocalyptic war led us to the setting we spend the show in. And this scene is incredible. It’s an information overload in the best possible way, there’s so much to take in, we have all sorts of cultures on display, parents with their newborns, girls running through fields, a fucking idol show with the dance moves from the OP, it’s all really good. But where it gets especially amazing is how it focuses and contrasts two recurring motifs.

Pictured above, is war. Utter chaos, violent and meaningless destruction, and just pure and ultimate hell. Nothing gained, everything lost. We already know the consequences of this war too, the world has been destroyed. Everything about this outcome is terrible.

Pictured above, are cute girls! They’re making robots and eating chips. Chi and Yuu feel a little less lonely watching them. From seeing them, Yuu begins to understand why Chi wants to learn about the past. They are happy, Chi and Yuu are happy, I’m happy, everything is nice.

Now between expository scenes detailing how the world came to be in its current state, and literally just, having cute girls, which do you think gets more focus? Which do you think the direction draws attention to over the other?

Yeah, it’s the cute girls.The horrors and tragedy of war are less important than letting Chi and Yuu be happy watching cute girls doing cute things. This single scene, more than any other in the show, tells us to not let the bad things get to you, because the good things will always exist. It’s a melancholy and desolate world, but you can be hopeful anyway. Appreciate life. It’s worth living.

Now like I said, Connection is really long, so even from there we just, keep going. A giant Nuko eats Yuu, Chi chases after it, spending the whole time being sad and upset to have no Yuu, and then when she finds it, Yuu’s basically free already, because hey there’s no way it’d eat living humans. I already don’t even like this scene that much, the girls have been in danger a lot throughout the show but because this danger is reliant on a weird unexplained alien-esque thing that doesn’t tie into the world in any way I appreciate, it sorta just feels contrived. Like it only happens because oh it’s the last episode, we need some sense of danger, you know?

And then it doesn’t even start to get better, because what happens is the large Nuko just starts expositing shit about how its species exists to dismantle thermally unstable shit and make it stable, and once they’re done the world will end. So, this is just kind of a rehash of what the large machine was doing in Life, except without the thematic questions and necessary information that made us understand and appreciate that.

And then they go on further to tell Chi and Yuu that, as far as they know, Chi and Yuu are the last living humans. And like, look. Kanazawa and Ishii have been namedropped in this episode, but that’s no confirmation they’re alive. If I were paying attention to the dates on the camera we might’ve known how long it’s been since we saw them last, but even with that we can’t know what they’ve been up to. It’s not like we have any reason to assume they’d be alive. But we had no reason to assume they died either. I think just having these mushroom things (they turn into mushrooms btw) tell us with no fanfare to speak of that the two other human characters we’ve seen up to this point are both dead, that sucks. It fits into the show’s themes of optimism in the face of despair, getting along with hopelessness and stuff, I can’t deny that, but I think it’s so much more appealing to just, not let us know how they’re doing and assume we might not ever see them again than it is to just, have these fuckin randos tell us “oh everyone’s dead btw”.

Anyway they take Nuko and head off and if it wasn’t obvious, I just don’t like these dudes. Their presence and purpose feels so inexplicable compared to everything else and they’re elevated to way higher narrative importance than they possibly should be, it feels like all they really add is an explanation for the numerous statues that look like them littered throughout the show. Which is cool I guess? But that doesn’t make up for how much about them I actually dislike.

There’s a bit of solace to be found in that the scene following the mushroom people’s departure is really sweet and cute.

See? Sweet and cute. It’s a pretty simple scene where Chi and Yuu just express that they’ll be fine as long as they’ve got each other, even if the world ends. I don’t think it adds loads, and after everything that came before it’s not even something that really needed to be said, so it’s a bit handhold-y in that regard, but it’s nice to get something sweet and cute that I can just enjoy looking at after listening to those weird fuckin mushrooms prattling on about whatever.

Weirdly, it doesn’t end there, because we’ve still got Friends to cover. Fortunately Friends is similarly short, it’s really just Chi and Yuu repeating the thing about not being lonely since they’ve got each other, and then setting off on their journey once more. And, that’s actually it. Yep, show’s over.

So yeah, I think the last episode gets off to a really amazing start, but loses itself hard in the middle, to the point where it’s the worst the show gets, and while it does manage to recover a little bit, the recovery is still as good and memorable as something like Train, in that I can appreciate looking at it but it doesn’t do much for me compared to how many really incredible moments the show has.

And uh, that’s Girls’ Last Tour. I’m not really interested in making any broad sweeping statements about it, my full thoughts on every minisode are now out there so there’s no need for that, but it’s overall a mostly phenomenal show, minus some areas in which it falters towards the end. And I honestly think those bits hold the show back enough for it to not get that 10 I really wanted to give it. But it’s still a 9! I actually changed the score from 8 to 9 a while before I started this rewatch just because I was that confident it would be good enough to earn that, and yeah that was a good decision anyway, I can stand by the 9. It’s so close to the 10, it really is, but I think if I want to give something a 10 there should be no part of it I dislike, and unfortunately that’s not true of Girls’ Last Tour, just because of how this last episode plays out. Oh well.

Either way, it’s great to have finally rewatched this show. It’s been a long time coming, I’ve described the fact that I hadn’t seen the show in nearly 3 years as criminal, but at last we’re here, I did it. I saw a show that’s in my top 10 favourite anime ever twice. Awesome.

I’ll try read the manga soon enough, I think the main thing holding me back is that more than any other manga this is one I want to own and read physically, but I’m kinda broke rn. We’ll see what happens. If I have to settle for reading it online somewhere, so be it.

#Girls' Last Tour #11.8.20

[iprefertheterminsane]

A concept: Upon his 12 th birthday, Adam grows wings and a crown of horns not unlike Satan in the tv series, and Aziraphale and Crowley guides and teaches him through the concept of being an immortal supernatural being, and how to accept himself.

####

"Adam," Aziraphale coaxes, as soothingly as possible. He sits on the edge of Adam's old wooden twin, strangely at home amongst the backdrop of hand made spacecrafts and messily glued science projects in Adam's cramped bookshelf. "Come now, my dear boy, I can't imagine something so terrible as to scare US away, will you please tell us what's wrong?"

"It's weird!" Adam cries, and Crowley only barely manages to cover a sigh of exasperation. It was leagues better than a while ago, which had been an adamant 'Go Away!'

(He was sure if Adam truly wanted them gone, however, the two of them would still be in Aziraphale's bookshop with no recollection of prior afternoon.)

 Pepper had called them-Crowley's mobile, earlier that afternoon, during lunchbreak. Adam is absent from school, which was not unusual on itself,**but it had been what she had said after that had rattled their nerves.

Pepper insisted that Adam had been sick, and has refused to leave his room for two whole days. Crowley had assured her that this was about as possible as a content, crippled farmer is to heavily injure the head of the italian mafia.

Pepper had not backed down, and had demanded their immediate presence anyway.

They had gotten worried.

It barely took a miracle to convince the Youngs that they had been visiting diatant relatives, and that they had come straight over upon receiving news of Adam's illness, the horrid virus businesses these days, Deidre, don't you know? Absolutely dreadful.

Upon opening the door, the cloaking wards had greeted them with as much force as a ton of blankets on the windpipe, and a miserable little lump on Adam's bed.

Aziraphale turns to him, helpless in the face of childish hard-headedness, and even despite his angelic demeanor, Crowley had been nonetheless impressed by his overall patience. He settles, finally, on Adam's other side.

"Look, mate." Crowley sighed. "Whatever pubescent horror you're suffering through that is you apparently think is bad enough to get away with skipping school is only as bad as you let yourself think. Believe me, both me and Aziraphale were around when adults were first invented, so we don't exactly need medical degrees to tell what's normal and what isn't, alright?"

"You've gotten all of us so dreadfully worried, my dear." Aziraphale says softly. "You needn't even show us; just tell us what's gotten you so upset, and we'll figure how to help you from there, how does that sound?"

There is a heavy, considerate pause from the miserable bed-blanket lump, and when he finally speaks more than three words at a time, they are muffled and reluctant.

"Just...don't make fun of me."

"Of course we won't," Crowley says gently, not when it might seriously injure the young man's pride. There was a very limited amount of bullying that he tolerates, of all ages, but more so that discrimates young problems. Just because it was a common problem doesn't make it any less distressful, after all.

There ia another pregnant pause, a visible intake of breath from beneath the sheets. The cloaking wards that have been masking the boy and hisHis emotions underneath the blanket relaxes almost visibly, helping the two supernatural relax almost without concious effort.

The blanket falls away.

Aziraphale inhales sharply. "Oh, dear."

Adam had....wings.

They were similar to their Aziraphale and Crowley's own-which are black and white mostly by professional default , unique in all the ways that matter. The colour, for instance, is a distinct russet and gold teal, wet with moisture not dissimilar to that of newly hatched birds. Adam sits hunched, expression twisted in that of pain, tear-racks down his boyish cheeks -likely from their respectable weight, primaries brushing his bedroom floor-and shoulder blades bruised and tender, crimson from the joint connecting the wings to his body, as if they had forcibly torn themselves from his beneath his very flesh.

But that wasn't the worst of it.

"Oh, Adam," Aziraphale breathes, his face contorted in thinly veiled grief. "Oh, my poor boy,"

Something in Aziraphale's voice must've snaped something inside him, because Adam breaks into barely controlled sobs, throwing himself into Crowley's outstretched arms, and Crowley himself only barely sparing himself from being poked in the eyes by the crown of horns that now adorn Adam's temple.

He wastes no time pulling the 13 year old child into a suffocating embrace, as tight as he needs it to be. Out of his periphery, the two occult and ethereal beings share only a strong, all-consuming thought.

'Shit.'

#####

The esteemed reader might be  wondering what, in loving tarnation, might be going on. Think of it this way; Upon the awakening of his long long dormant powers on his birthday, and the consequent adventure from that point on, an eleven year old child of such freshly discovered reserves of  power had only such forthought to realign reality in a way to to completely change the matter of  things in default, besides thoughts of those individually set aside. Frankly, the Powers that Be didn't do much to discourage his hold on them. Individuals with such permanent holds on Reality are so few and far in between, after all, and it has been so long since they've had a master so sweet and kind.

(Take it this way; in a fit not unlike the thought process of most human children, what Adam basically had wanted at the airbase was to relinquish his throne, and to deny his destiny. Both of these objectives had, technically, been accomplished. But altering the fabric of time, and rearranging solid hard facts- such as the past circumstances and occult bloodline- takes a whole lot more effort than a single passionate wish by an emotionally compromised child. So while there is a mindsweep of a global scale, and people suddenly seem to find themselves to have returned to lose an entire Monday, Adam was still no less an AntiChrist than Crowley was  any less a demon.)

####

It had happened last Friday.

(Adam was reluctant to share the experience, likely unexcited to relive the memory, but share it he did, probably in hope they could do something about it.)

He had been startled awake by a tingling, painful sensation in his back, and a dreadful migraine. Twisting onto his back, it seemed, only made it worse. Unable to return to sleep, he had decided, instead to wash his face on the bathroom down the hall.

It is only in the light that he notices the blood on his pajama shirt.

(It is only downhill from there)

######

(This is a very early draft and the idea wouldnt stop bugging me until it was out there. I call it That's A Double Negative and it's up for adoption if anybody wants it. I'll try to finish it. Maybe.)

#good omens #ineffable husbands #Adam Young #wingfic? #hurt/comfort

[vaguely-concerned]

the mandalorian episode 6... AGAIN yes that’s right it’s a rewatch

- the unending escalation of mando’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day is hilarious in an awful way. ‘yeah I didn’t tell you but we’re using your ship and you’re not getting out of it lol. xi’an -- you know, the xi’an whose brother you apparently left behind to get caught and who has a very weird and uncomfortable crush situation on you? she’s coming along! we’re attacking a new republic prison ship b/c we thought you might get lonely with only half the bounty hunters in the galaxy after you and would like to have the full force of galactic law enforcement on your ass as well. the droid is coming along. the droid is going to be driving your ship! your team mates are deliberately stepping on your culture, your privacy and your boundaries. oh would you look at that they know where the baby is! they are.holding the baby and they know it’s important to you. they DROPPED THE BABY D: and now you have to leave the baby with the droid and get double crossed by your old ‘friends’ after they’ve alerted the entire republic and murdered an innocent civilian. have fun’  

thank god he got to stalk them down like a terrifying horror movie villain, it was very cathartic for me 

- I wonder if we’ll get an episode of actual cops being after our boys at some point, din certainly made an impression here haha. may especially be a factor if he ever needs to go more towards the core worlds in his hunt for others like the baby 

- y’know watching this again I realized that one of the reasons he left the rest of the crew alive is probably that he’s already in ddddeeeeEEEEeep shit with the new republic after this and committing three murders on their ground is not going to look good if they ever figure out it was him. on the other side leaving them alive means they can spout whatever bullshit they want about him... but then again why would the republic believe any of them so eh. (come to think of it they don’t actually know much about him beyond the fact that he’s a mandalorian and has a falling-apart space ship anyway -- the only real ‘well fuck’ is that they know about the baby, that could be unfortunate) I hope mando left a note that was like ‘um. real sorry about all of this, I left you three presumably wanted criminals tied up with a bow and ready to face trial does that make it better? gotta go my baby is locked in the car with a murderbot and I am LOSING MY MIND’

- mando pulls in a deep ‘oh fuck’ sort of breath when he sees the guard :( he tried so hard to keep that situation contained. he’s really good at it too, he’s so calm and reassuring! if it weren’t for these other dicks I think he could have solved it peacefully. he does seem to have some real experience with hostage negotiations (and like I said in my ep 7 thoughts he’s very practiced at settling other people’s hot tempers, however he gained that expertise. too bad these guys aren’t really the type you can reason with.)

also he sounds like he’s swallowing down some IMMENSE stress when he explains what the tracking beacon is to the devil dude he just keeps getting more and more screwed in this ep and I feel bad

- even more sure now there was never  a n y t h i n g  between xi’an and mando at all. she’s just weird and creepy. ‘all business’ does seem to cover how that actually went from his side lol. (I have a little pet theory that he might have been running with these guys right after some big loss or falling out with his mando uh ‘parents’ or something like that -- the whole ‘target practice’ thing feels like something he might say to cover/deflect from some deep deep anger. ‘I don’t care what the job even is so long as I get to shoot something’ sort of deal, though it might be implied he did turn his back on them when they went too far. din certainly doesn’t sound proud of it when ran brings it up and deliberately distances himself from it.)

- it is interesting -- and very sweet -- how immediately he takes on a protective and mentor-ish/almost parental air when he meets younger people, even in the middle of this tense standoff. (young men from what we’ve seen specifically in toro and davin but I’m thinking it would extend to anyone young and uncertain he came across) in this case he is of course deliberately trying to forge a connection with the guy for a sort of selfish purpose and to deescalate the situation, but he does it so immediately and with a... warmth? almost? and concern there too. he clearly just wants the kid to be able to walk away from this unscathed because it’s not his fault he’s there doing his job. the mando adoption instinct remains irrepressible lol

I am so cuuuuurrrrriiooooouuuss about who raised him with the mandalorians and why they don’t seem to be relevant at all to his life anymore (purely statistically I’d say they probably died in the purge, but for narrative purposes it might be more interesting if they were estranged and needed to sort that out at some point)

- oh the stressed out little ‘ngh’ mando gives in his throat when they lock him in the cell D: (and he seems to be looking up at the ceiling/towards where the ship would be too so three guesses as to what he’s thinking about haha oh god this poor man just let him have some REsT. I don’t want to think about what these assholes would do with the baby, especially after zero found out about the bounty.)

- how he takes all three of them alive shows off how good he really is -- we get to see how easily he could have killed xi’an and mayfeld especially without them even knowing he was there, but he doesn’t and manages to pacify them + get them into the cell in time anyway. (and takes a knife in the arm for his troubles too ouch) this is his home turf! he’s not experienced with fighting animals (or the wilderness, I’m sort of getting the vibe), but he is very good at taking down sentients, non-lethally if necessary, that’s basically his entire job and he does it wonderfully

- the fact that he slowly kneels down in front of the baby even though every moment counts to get the hell out of there before the new republic ships arrive T________T and baby is just happy he’s theeeerrreee ugh I’m guessing he took the baby with him up in the cockpit and left qin to stew downstairs? 

- there is a delicious poetic justice in the fact that the x-wings probably only open fire because the base was launching a gunship. if ran could have not been completely terrible for like half a minute he might have survived. sucks to be you dude. 

“no questions asked. that’s the policy, right?” <3

...I think din and corvo attano would be good bros if they could meet, hot single dads with a grim wry sense of humour and taste for karmic punishment unite 

- this is the episode that gave me the fewest new thoughts after a rewatch, but that doesn’t really bother me -- it’s just a neat clean heist narrative with some cool fight scenes and an underlying tension and I have time for one of those every now and then. 

#star wars #the mandalorian #meta #the mandalorian meta