steve telling his students (teacher!steve, so true) about his super sweet and caring husband and they all think it's just some average, boring dude. and they find out that the guy who irons mr. harrington's clothes every morning and adopted 3 kittens so the siblings wouldn't be separated, is a rock musician, with tattoos all over his arms and is wearing a shirt that says sum shit like "the devil was an angel too" when he comes in for career day.
alternatively, eddie telling his bandmates about how super cool and tough his husband is & then one day some guy in a baby blue polo and pressed slacks shows up before their show to give eddie a specific pick and a kiss on the cheek and eddies band mates are like..........that's him? that's the guy who bit the head off a bat and hit billy hargrove with his car?
(edit: read steve's version here!)
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Hands down one of my worst experiences in high school was when the seniors decided to extort the entire school by using tactics that were banned by the UN to get them to pay for the senior party! If that sounds like a wild sentiment stay tuned because this shit got crazy.
I was living in Arizona at the time and I was a freshman. Our campus was largely open air, with walks between class room buildings and some covered outdoor tables. Our event began with a morning announcement. The seniors were collecting donations for the senior party, and when they reached their goal, their fundraising method would stop.
Their fundraising method:
To pipe the entire schools speakers with "If You're Happy and You Know It" on loop. To this day, I cannot hear this song without experiencing a degree of rage and madness that is frankly alarming. One of the worst parts of the entire thing was that the recording they chose had the female singer do a little clap and say "Yay-ha-hey," at the end. So it wasn't just the song, it was this awful little cooldown stinger at the end.
If this sounds a lot like psychological torture you'd be extremely correct! This practice has been banned in some countries, but the good old US hasn't ruled it a human rights violation, and what a fun silly way to raise money, that definitely wasn't damaging to adolescent psyches!
Every morning for 15 minutes before school began, every passing period, every lunch, and after school for another 15 minutes they blasted that fucking song on unceasing repeat through every speaker in the school. Everyone found different ways of coping with this and mine was to observe my classmates descent into madness and categorize the stages.
The first stage was almost completely consistent, and it was a smug almost exasperated eye rolling phase. Often accompanied by derisive comments about the song or the tactic, this phase was extremely mildly annoyed. Most people figured it would blow over soon, and no one anticipated this continuing for a week and a half, creating a miasma of fraught tension.
The second phase was elevated annoyance, starting to snap and be less amused characterized this level of irritation. People would try to cover their ears or put on headphones, humming aggressively to block out the syrupy repulsive children's performer with her loathsome little clap. This phase had people picking their absolute least favorite part of the song. Her inflection on certain words, her timing between verses. I think it's pretty clear already which part I hated most.
The next phase was a bounce back out to absurdity. It became funny how annoying it was and people would sing along as if to challenge the song's authority over their psyche. This paired exceptionally poorly with people in phase two as they'd often lash out at the people giving more voice to their hell.
The fourth phase was a dead-eyed madness. People would stare straight ahead and their lips would silently mouth the familiar words. The song had pounded its way into their very soul and was inextricably linked to auditory output. They often didn't even realize if they began chanting along.
The fifth and final phase was pure uncut pubescent rage. Kids would scream, attack each other, and in a truly epic end to the event hurl a cafeteria chair with such force at the speaker in the cafeteria to irreparably damage the sound system.
The seniors got funding for a party, but some of it had to go to repair the damages, which were substantial.
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Eddie filming a tiktok before one of the soccer meets (maybe like day long blitz tournament) in a cheerleader outfit. Phone set up before he came downstairs, catching Steve scrolling on his phone, filling his water, checking the time and reminding Eddie they had to leave. And Eddie’s like, pretending it’s normal while Steve is just blinking at him.
He threatened to do it, and they all assumed he had forgotten but no, Eddie’s middle names are ‘committed to the bit’ (family name)
I think it’s infinitely funnier if Steve doesn’t notice that he’s wearing a cheerleading uniform for like, a while.
Eddie sets the camera up in the kitchen since Steve spends the majority of his time before a game in there pacing, and then he just stands there in the middle of the room. And waits. And Steve does not notice. It’s like:
Eddie: *standing in the middle of the kitchen in a red and gold cheerleading uniform*
Steve: *walks pass to double check the schedule on the fridge to make sure he has the time right*
Steve: *walks pass while putting on his jersey*
Steve: *walks pass to fill their cooler with drinks and sandwiches*
Steve: *walks pass to refill his water bottle*
Steve: *walks pass to triple check the schedule*
Steve: *walks pass looking at his phone*
Steve: *walks pass while texting Robin*
Steve: *walks pass to look at the schedule again*
Steve: *walks pass while reminding Eddie that they need to leave in fifteen minutes*
Steve: *stops right next to Eddie to read an article about Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner*
Eddie: Babe, do these shoes match my outfit?
Steve, looking away from his phone and directly at Eddie’s shoes: If you’re going to have your legs out then you need to put sunscreen on them because you… *finally notices*
Steve:
Steve:
Steve:
Eddie: 2,4,6,8 who do you appreciate?
Steve: …This outfit
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Your last name is a joke. (Scherz means Joke in German)
Hello yes I do in fact know what my own surname means. I am half German by descent and grew up in Switzerland and speak fluent German and lived in Germany for almost ten years and married a German (who for some strange reason didn’t want to take my name 😅).
Try being taken seriously on the phone when they ask who it is and you say anything followed by ‘Scherz’.
Ironically, nobody in my family—as far as I’m aware, and we’ve traced part of our family tree back several centuries—has ever run a joke shop or had any other on-brand occupation.
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