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elias-code · 3 years

Text

The Swine’s Scribe

Characters: c!Technoblade x gn!reader, an appearance by Philza

Background: You're in Techno's cabin after getting the rest of his wolves from L’Manburg after the second war. You were originally rescued by Techno from a blizzard after running from the first L'Manburg explosion (your house was among those destroyed.)

Summary: When Techno gets back from the second L'Manburg war, he lets go of a lot of emotions by ranting to you. You, being concerned about his mental wellbeing, ask if you can do anything for him, and eventually, he kisses you, which leads to some close-calls with Phil and a whole lot of smut and fluff.

Wordcount: 3291 (according to google docs lmao)

Warnings: NSFW, swearing, blood/wounds, biting, getting caught

I REPEAT NSFW, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

-------------------------------- Enjoy :) ----------------------------------

Ever since Techno brought you in from the cold months ago, you've been doing little chores for him in a way to repay his kindness. Even though he was the one who summoned the withers after the initial explosions, you felt safe around him. It had been hard to get used to at first, but now you felt comforted by his presence.

For the past week, you've been writing his journal for him after he broke his hand sparring with Phil. His hand has since healed, but you insisted that you do it for him, and he put up little protest.

"It was stressful, seeing your friends leave like that, in the blink of an eye. I don't trust anyone anymore, not after Tommy betrayed me. I gave him a roof over his head, hid him from Dream, one of the most powerful people on the server, AND I trusted him with my Axe of Peace." Technoblade's tone was strained and he let out a huff.

"Techno," you empathised, "are you sure you're okay after today?"

"I'm fine, please keep writing." He only ever said please when he was really serious, clearly, he was not interested in talking.

"Now, I refuse to bow to the voices. They want blood and I won't let them. Too many allies have died for me or have disappeared onto the other side, only to reemerge when they need ME, never when I need THEM."

Again, you piped in, "Techno, you're clearly not ok," his pale skin was flushed red and his eyebrows knit together into a grimace, "If there's anything I can do to help, please tell me."

He went silent.

"You don't have to talk about it if it's really getting to you... Or you could let it out. Either way, I'm here to help," You said.

"I'll think about it. For now, keep writing,"

For another half hour, he ranted about the destruction of L'Manburg and his dramatic reenactment was accented by occasional yelling and hand gestures. Suddenly, he stops speaking and gets a puzzled look on his face, "Um, what- what's the correct phrasing for - I guess - 'horny for violence'?" The tips of his ears were bright red, matching the blush now forming on his cheeks.

You chuckle, "I think it's hungry for violence..."

"Ah, that's it," Techno states, and then he completed his recounting of events. There's a bubble of silence in the air and he bursts it by asking, "Do you have any thoughts?"

"You know my thoughts, Techno..."

"I think I know, but give me words, I can't read minds."

"You're not healthy, you need help. You need better friends and a proper support system. Right now you really only have Phil, and I guess me if I even count."

"You count."

Now it was your turn to blush, but you continue, "Either way, that's not enough! You deserve more than you're getting. I can tell that even without the things you've had me write down. You're carrying so much weight, Tech."

"I didn't know you cared," he seems touched by your words, "I suppose I don't know a whole lot about you."

"And yet, you trust me with your deepest, darkest secrets, Technoblade."

"One thing I can trust you to do is help me with my armour."

He was still wearing the enchanted netherite chestplate and pants, both of which you started fumbling with. The leather straps were clasped tightly, as to not come off in battle, but you managed to manoeuvre them enough to get them to let go.

As the chestplate was lifted off of him, he hissed and then grunted. You look at the spot his hand flew to on his back, where his shirt had torn to reveal a big gash in his shoulder. It ran from his shoulder blade to his left pec, one of the only places where he was unarmoured.

"Holy shit Tech, why didn't you tell me this was here?!"

"I didn't want to worry you," He chuckled and then hissed again, "I guess that plan failed."

You did not find it funny. You immediately went to get the supplies Phil kept in his house, knowing that Techno didn't keep anything but healing potions in his chests. Phil was eager to help and he handed some bandages and rubbing alcohol to you so you could clean the wound. You also grabbed a spare scrap of leather for him to bite down on.

When you returned, Techno had moved to sit on his bed where he had already removed the greaves and discarded them beside him. You came to his side, putting down the alcohol, rag, and bandage.

"This is probably going to hurt, so I need you to bite down on this," you said, handing him the leather scrap.

"Ok," he said, watching you grab the alcohol and rag from the floor, "Just- just tell me when,"

"Alright," He put the leather in between his teeth, biting lightly, "you ready?"

He nodded, you put the alcohol rag onto the blood-crusted gash. He let out a sharp, low hiss, tightening his jaw on the leather to release some of the pain. You cleaned up quickly to minimise the pain and then wrapped it in the bandage, leaving some so you could clean and replace it later.

"All done, you ok?" You looked at him, one of his eyes was watering.

"Yeah, the pain's much worse when you're not pumped full of adrenaline."

"You better not be hiding any more gashes under all of those clothes,"

"Wanna find out?" He flashed you a smirk, amused by his own confidence.

"I'll take your word for it, but you're going to need to change that shirt, it's covered in blood."

"At least it's not my blood," you shivered a bit at that remark and helped him take his shirt off, careful not to remove the fresh bandages along with it.

For the first time, you saw him without a shirt off. He seemed surprisingly slender for being as strong as he is. There were numerous scars that etched every battle and lesson learned into his skin. Lots of them looked older than you expected and you suddenly realised that he must have been fighting for a long time before coming to the server.

"Like what you see?" he asked, and you rushed to put the shirt down and find an excuse.

"Um, I- I was just looking at your scars, I'll bring this downstairs,"

You rushed away, turning bright red, embarrassed that he had noticed your stares. You absent-mindedly tossed the shirt into the 'wash pile' and then you remembered, in your rush, you had forgotten his greaves. With a huff, you climbed the ladder back to his room.

Techno sat in front of the fireplace, now roaring with renewed vigour from the log he'd tossed in. His pink hair had been undone from the messy braid he had put in that morning. It was almost dyed red and black by the blood and soot in it. He was playing with it, picking out debris and running his fingers through the more knotted bits.

“Tech?”

“Hmm?” he looked up at you, still fiddling with the hair in his hands.

You sat down next to him and he relaxed into a cross-legged position, with one knee tucked under his chin. His free hand is right next to yours and he doesn’t look at you. His face is red, probably from the fire.

“You looked like you were in a trance? Are you ok?”

Silence filled the room again,"

“You don’t have to tell me but just know I’m here if you need to talk. Obviously, I haven’t tattled about anything yet or Tommy and the Butchers would be knocking your door down by now.”

“The voices are quieter than normal. I can hear myself think.”

You try to be encouraging “So? What are you thinking about?”

He looks you in the eyes, they’re deep, his pupils adjusting makes you feel like he’s looking into your soul.

“Um, I’m not sure you’d want to know.”

You frown and protest since you’re now more curious than ever but still a bit freaked out. "C'mon now you've got me curious,"

Techno looked away, solemnly gazing at the fire “I meant what I said about you being a trusted friend. I don't get many of those so, thanks. As for why this is coming up now, well, I guess I’m lonely.”

You hesitated, “Me too, Tech. You're kind of the only one I trust, and I guess Phil, too, but I'd trust you with my life.”

He blushes, looks away, and tucks a strand of hair behind his ear before turning back to you and putting his hand on yours.

You immediately flush and you see a grin seep onto his face.

"I'm not really talking about friends anymore. I want... someone..." he almost whispers

"You mean?" he nods, "I guess I've never had anyone before. I think it'd be nice to see what it'd be like."

“I think we can kill two birds with one stone here, don’t you?”

Now you're both bright red, nervous, schoolkids who gingerly lean into each other's faces, gaze fixed on the other's lips. Your hearts beat hard while your brains rush to make sure you feel insecure, the voices in Techno's mind screaming excitedly.

“You good up there Techno? Your light is still on, it's far past midnight, mate!” Phil shouts from the bottom of the ladder.

“I’m fine, just," He pulls away from you, "reading. Goodnight Phil,”

Techno's ears perk up to listen to the receding footsteps. You’re both standing now, he's standing over the trapdoor, making sure Phil had gone. Once he was sure, he comes over and kisses you hard.

“Tech-"

“Is this ok? I’m not doing anything wrong am I?”

You think He’s clearly never done this before, as you respond "Yeah, I like it..." you continue, stumbling towards his bed where you’re initially just kissing like two teenagers as if it were your first time, desperate, but awkward.

Your hand was pressing against his chest as you laid next to him, tasting each other's spit, learning the ropes since neither of you had ever done this before.

The light from the fire made your shadows dance across the wall, arms moving to hold each other closer, legs wrapping around Techno's, bodies shifting so he's on top of you. Only the roar and crackle of the fire and the occasional grunt or gasp from you or Techno could be heard.

--- Smut begins here ---

As you both part to take a breath, he pulls your shirt over his head. When he leans into the crook of your neck, you notice the tent in his pants pressing against your inner thigh. In between your own legs, there was a pool of slick forming.

You moan, loud, fully knowing that would send Techno wild. He pushes further towards you and holds your arms above your head so he could press his mouth against your neck, leaving red, hot, sticky marks leading from your collarbone to your abdomen.

You're both panting as he lets go of your arms and you wrap them around his neck, pulling his head in for a long, deep kiss. His hot breath warms your cheeks as he repositions himself.

"Hey, is this still ok?" He asks between breaths.

"Abso-fucking-lutely,"

He fully loses himself, taking his hand from your cheek and moving it to your pants, never losing eye contact. You nod and he pushes his hand into the spot between your legs which was now drenched in slick. He found his way to your hole and pushed his index finger into it, creating a sensation you'd never felt before.

Instinctually, you gasp and then moan, harder than before. You rock your hips to his rhythm while he continues to press bruises into your torso. Eventually, he brings his face back to yours and kisses you. You let out another moan into his mouth. He grunts and then chuckles, kissing your cheek before pulling his finger out and then going back in with two.

Now, you're whining, pulling on his long, pink hair. You notice everything in those moments, his rhythmic breaths into your neck and pumping of his finger in and out of your sex, his other hand holding your waist, pushing upwards to caress you, his soft hair in your hand.

"Is it my turn now?" He gruffs.

You hum in affirmation as he pulls away and you kick off your pants as he undoes his own. You immediately notice his size. Compared to his fingers, which were pretty long and thick, to begin with, due to his big hands, his member was a giant. His hand that had previously been half inside of you was now working his dick, its head coated in pre-cum.

While you had seen other penises before, mostly in study, you had never seen one up close, and you'd only seen ones on humans. The hybrid piglin-shapeshifter was sporting a human-like head and shaft, 9 inches (at least) all the way down to a knot... he had a knot...

He notices you gaping at his dick and grins, leaning into you again. "Wanna help me with this, or... should I help m'self?"

Eager to please, you lightly push him forward so you're both sitting up while your hand inspects the new acquaintance. You look up at Techno for guidance. He nods and pushes your hand down with his own. He guides your hand up and down the shaft until he’s no longer guiding you and you’re doing it all yourself.

He does the same with you. The space between your legs was now, simply put, slippery. He did his best to please you, eventually managing three fingers easily.

The pants and gasps were syncing, the knot in your stomach growing stronger while you danced your mouth on the head of his member. He lets out a particularly loud grunt and removes his fingers from your sex. You suddenly feel empty, and he pushes you over onto your stomach.

He puts himself under you, his dick under your mouth. You lick the ever-present pre-cum off of the head of his dick once again and then begin to bob your head up and down, managing to fit him halfway before choking on him. His groans were now louder than yours, becoming more frequent.

"Ughh- fuck," he moans.

Now he holds your head and gently begins to fuck your mouth. Your bobbing was no longer enough, he wanted more. He thrust his hips into you, managing to get a third of the way into you and then it turns into deepthroating after every thrust.

You gag, unable to take him all the way, and so he decides enough is enough and you both rush to get him inside of you. He gets up, moving to position himself above you. You continue to stay in the position he left you in, on your hands and knees.

"Turn around," Techno says.

And so you do, you lay on your back, full of anticipation and covered in juices. He puts his hand on your stomach, leaning in to kiss you lightly, pressing more red marks into your sides, slowly turning you so you face the wall.

He pulls away and holds your leg away from the other, practically putting you into the splits.

"Techno..." You whisper.

"Hmm?"

"Is this gonna hurt?"

"Dunno, darlin'," He leans in again, "let me know if it gets too hard, ok? I'll stop if you say so."

You nod and kiss for confirmation, reaching to hold your own leg up to give him full access.

He inserts the head and you can already feel the stretch, slightly painful but you push on, your fingers grasping the sheets to keep yourself grounded. He’s pushing into you slowly, making sure you're not getting in over your head. You hold the sheet tighter, groaning from the stretch.

He pulls out slightly and the pressure releases. You moan hard, making sure Techno knows that you like what you feel. He pushes in again and begins to thrust into you. Techno is getting further and further with every thrust, and you moan between every breath. He's three-fifths of the way in and he's only getting harder.

Techno's hand replaces yours, keeping your leg raised as you move your hand to work yourself along with him. Your heart beats faster and he picks up the pace. He can get all the way to the knot before pulling out and thrusting in again.

"Tech... Fuck, it's so gooood..."

Now he's becoming sparattic and his face goes into your neck, biting softly, barely enough for blood to form. The knot in your stomach tightens and you scream into the pillow as he pushes all the way in, his skin hitting yours as his knot slips into you.

He moans and thrusts lightly into you, coming inside of you. You feel the pressure inside of you release as you come with him. You're being filled with his sperm, eventually spilling out along with your own come onto the sheet.

He continues to work you with his hand, breathing heavily into your neck. Your heartbeats are in sync and his juices continue to spill out of you, soaking everything below you. You try to look him in the eye as he shakes slightly, somehow still coming.

"Tech? You're still..." you gasp. "I know, sorry... it might be a while..." He grunts out.

Techno's ears perk up and he shoves you under the blanket, still stuck inside of you with the knot.

"What-"

He puts a hand over your mouth as you quiver underneath him, overstimulated by the pressure and his hand which still rested in between your thighs. What the hell is he doing?! The non-stop cum is weird enough, what-

Soon enough, your questions were answered when you heard the footsteps downstairs.

“Do you have my hat?” Phil's voice yells from the base of the ladder.

“Can't you-" he breathes, "you get it in the morning?”

“No, I'm going out super early tomorrow to scout out and make sure we haven’t been followed back.”

“Uh," fuck "it’s on the chair next to my desk up here? I’m in bed…”

Phil comes up the ladder and opens the hatch, eventually finding his hat while techno covers your mouth and lays belly to belly with you, he’s still dribbling a bit, so are you. You’re whimpering slightly.

Phil stops at the trapdoor. “Did you mean to leave the fire on mate?”

“Uh, yeah I was gonna let it burn… I was cold”

“Where’s your friend, loverboy?”

You feel Techno blush above you, his warmth suddenly radiating out from him.

“Um. They went to trade with some piglins since we’re almost out of spectral arrows.”

“Alright let me know when they get back, I just want to make sure they’re ok. Ever since you found them in the snow you’ve been doing better, it seems. Almost like you two are a... thing?”

The question lingered momentarily and you could almost hear Phil's eyebrow raise before Techno answered.

“Hmm, thank you, Phil. Close the trapdoor when you leave, I don’t want the warmth to leave.”

“Alright.”

Finally, the footsteps were gone. He pulls the blanket off of them and he takes his hand off of your mouth. You gasp for dramatic effect, laughing quietly to yourselves at the close call.

"Can I tell you something?" Techno whispers into your ear.

"Yes, you're literally deep inside of me, I'm guaranteed to be interested in what you have to say,"

"I love you"

"I love you, too..."

#technoblade #dsmp x reader #techno x reader #mcyt smut #dreamsmp #c!technoblade x reader #c!techno #first fic sorry lmao #c!techno x reader #eli scribe #Elias original

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threepointseven · 3 years

Text

Home(Dinner Part 2)

Im shortening the exchange students name to S/N AKA student name

Sorry i forgot to answer the person who actually requested this @kurooandkarmaswife thank you sm for requesting! I hope you enjoy 😩

Also lets pretend you cant have more than 1 pact with a human cause yeah. If you havent read Dinner yet go read it since you’ll really only understand this if u read the first part

Fandom: Obey me!

Pairing: not really with anyone but has subtle undertones of solomon & Simeon x reader

Length: sort of long

Genre: Angst with comfort

Gn! Reader and exchange student!

Part three!

Dinner last night, was, well...pretty terrible. I ended up waking up at 2 am to the brothers STILL not home. Apparently even Diavolo had taken a liking to the new exchange student.

A day goes by and finally i get to meet the new exchange student.

Whoah

Is all i can think. I walk into the living room unnoticed as everyone is talking to the new exchange student, i wouldnt blame them.

They look incredible.

I felt a hint of jealousy wash over me. Seeing Mammon, Asmo’s and Beel’s joyful laughs as they talk to them. Their voice was ever so gentle, it’s what i imagine spring to sound like.

I tried forgetting about my distasteful thoughts of jealousy and walked over to them.

“Goodmorning!”

I called out to try and grab their attention

“Oh, MC! I didnt see you there;;”

Asmo said to me as he was taking selfies with the new exchange student

“This is the new exchange student”

Beel smiled

“Hi! My name is MC”

I happily introduced myself

“My name is S/N”

They brought their hand out and i shook it in return. Their eyes were ever so sweet, i felt the sadness come over me as i wore a soft smile.

Something tells me this wont end well.

Weeks go by as i barely get to see the brothers anymore. They’re always around S/N. I find myself longing the brothers touch. The random emergency texts i get from mammon, calls from Asmo asking me if i wanted to go to a club, Belphie always dragging me to his room to take a nap, Beel’s adorable goodnight texts, Lucifer’s complaints about work, Satan’s library dates, And levi’s rants about a certain anime he just watched.. i missed it all.

I guess i missed the warmth and the constant attention i got from them. The attention thats now being directed at S/N.

The new feeling of emptiness leads me to the Purgatory hall, a place i’ve been to quite often after S/N had won over the brothers.

I enter the room praying that i dont see S/N hogging Luke, Solomon, and Simeon’s attention....

What?

Did i just think that?

Am i that jealous?

Have i gotten so used to being in the spotlight that suddenly i become like this when not in the center?

Its an unpleasant feeling and i try to snap myself out of it as i see Simeon, Luke, and Solomon all happily seated on the couch drinking tea and eating pastries Luke made.

“MC! Hey!!”

Luke happily greets me as well as Solomon and Simeon. Im pulled to the couch as im seated next to Luke. I take a bite of the pastry and embrace the comfort of the sugary sweets.

The conversation goes on for a long time as hours go by. Soon enough the entire tray of pastries and tea are long gone.

As the clock hits 8 PM i realize ive been at the Purgatory hall for too long now. Excusing myself i go back to the house of Lamentation to be once again greeted by smiling faces and S/N laying out plates filled with food for the brothers.

The brothers quarrels, Satan’s face of annoyance, Asmo’s whining... The smell of warm food on the dinner table being handed out....

As i hide from the view of the brothers and S/N i look back to when it would to be me that made everyone dinner and calmed them down.

My chair.

My chair had been occupied by S/N,

What?

Did they expect me to sit on the floor for dinner or something?

As i slowly walked to my room i heard the deep voice of Lucifer

“Oh MC,,, sorry S/N is sitting on your spot, we thought you were gonna go to the purgatory hall for dinner tonight. We do apologize”

As i feel my throat closing up i smile and say in a bubbly tone

“Oh it’s fine! I was actually gonna go out with my friends for dinner anyways! I was just getting something from my room, i’ll be out in a sec!”

Lucifer gave me a warm smile and continued conversing with S/N

As i went to my room i started to realize the situation here. I’ve been replaced. I mean who wouldn’t replace me when the actual definition of an angel was right in front of them with their welcoming arms open.

As soon as i got to my room salty tears trailed down my cheeks,

Jealousy?

Sadness?

Anger?

Whatever the emotion was i wasn’t having it. Unlocking my DDD to be greeted by the wallpaper of me and the brothers all dressed up for a ball we went to together once. i tried to hold back my few tears as i called Solomon, a dear friend of mine.

“Hey solomon!!”

“Oh, yes MC? Is there anything you need?”

“I know i just left the purgatory hall but could I possibly stay there for the night?”

“Oh, of course! I dont exactly know why but Luke’s already whining about how you stayed for too little.”

“I’ll be right over”

I hung up the phone, my tears stopping after i heard that comforting voice of his.

That night i stayed at the purgatory hall, happily sleeping next to Luke, lulling him to sleep.

The purgatory hall became my escape. Solomon always made me laugh, Simeon always made sure i felt welcome there and Luke was practically my adopted son after how long i could stay with him.

As i went about the kitchen helping Luke make a pastry i showed him from the human world a strange feeling washed over me. The feeling of something being erased from my my soul, something was fading away. That something felt like it was piercing my soul.

I look around my body to see what it is. As i look around i see it.

My pact marks are starting to fade

I panic as i excuse myself and go back to the house of lamentation.

As i silently enter the room i hear the faint sound of the brothers, they’re discussing something.

“Cmon Satan you’ve gotta be quick! What if they find out?!”

“Removing a pact isnt that easy Mammon.”

As i listen more i realize what it is.

They’re trying to break my pact with me.

And for what exactly?

Because they want one with someone else.

That someone being S/N

It hurt. Who wouldn’t be hurt? tears flowed from my eyes in record time as i tiredly walk outside.

Devildom was a place the brothers always told me to beware of, but right now i couldnt care less.

While i walked around the town with puffy eyes and the stinging feeling of my pact marks being removed, i hear a certain group of people call my name, i look back to see Luke, Solomon and Simeon’s smiles quickly turn into frowns as they see my tears

“What’s wrong MC?!”

Luke worriedly asks

Unable to hold it in i tell Them.

“The brothers are trying to break my pact with them, they want one with S/N apparently. Im afraid i’ve been replaced by that saint..”

Solomon and Simeon’s face turn into faces of empathy while Luke’s turned quite sour

As Simeon came closer to me and pulled me close into a hugged he mumbles out a comforting phrase

“Whatever happens MC, you’ll always be welcome at the purgatory hall.”

The sentence made my stomach overflow with butterflies. I happily hug back, quickly accepting the purgatory hall as my new and improved home.

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jammatown919 · 3 years

Text

Best Laid Plans

Several months ago, an anon asked me to write a piece in which the group tries to play matchmaker for Ruby and Penny. This is what that turned into.

Ruby liked Vacuo better than she'd thought she would. Sure, it was unbearably hot most days and a fair amount of the locals seemed rather disgruntled about having more refugees around, especially Atlesian ones, but she'd take this over Atlas any day.

She was especially relived that she and her group had been allowed to enroll as students at Shade Academy rather than having their Huntsmen licenses renewed. They hadn't been at all ready for the position when General Ironwood had offered it to them, and while there was still a lot to worry about, everyone was glad to have some of the pressure taken off of them. Unfortunately, however, the lowered stress and extra free time had given them an opportunity to concern themselves with things that absolutely did not require their attention, such as Ruby's love life.

Two weeks ago, Ruby had made the horrible mistake of confiding in Yang about her crush on Penny, which had resulted in most of the rest of their friends knowing about it too. Most of them were alright about it, but Yang and Nora were absolutely hellbent on playing matchmaker, and they weren't taking no for an answer.

Every single time one of them caught Ruby alone, they'd plead with her for permission to set up a date so everyone wouldn't have to watch her 'pining' anymore, and no matter how many times she said she didn't want to burden Penny with her feelings, they persisted. Eventually she'd started trying to avoid them altogether, which was a lot easier with Nora than it was with Yang, considering they shared a room.

On their second Friday living at Shade Academy, also the second Friday since Ruby had confided in her sister, Yang found Ruby alone in the dorm and made what felt like her millionth plea of the week.

"For the last time," Ruby snapped, flopping down on her bed. "I don't want you to set up a date! It'll just make everything awkward."

She was trying to keep her cool, but honestly, this was starting to piss her off. This was none of Yang's business, or Nora's for that matter. She didn't need their input.

"Oh, come on, Ruby!" Yang groaned, her voice laced with exasperation. "You have to know she's into you!"

"Give me one good reason to believe she actually likes me back." Ruby retorted, rolling her eyes as Yang let out a dry laugh.

"I'll give you ten reasons," she said confidently. "You two are basically attached at the hip, she gets that little pouty face every time she gets told she can't pair with you for combat training, you literally share a bed-"

"Only because there weren't enough beds when we moved in!" Ruby quickly sat up, warmth rushing to her face.

"Yeah, but when Blake and I starting sharing, I asked Penny if she wanted my old bed and she just about cried." Yang replied. "Unless you want to sit here and argue that all of that is platonic, you know she likes you back. So why won't you just talk to her about it?"

"Look," Ruby sighed. "Even if you're right, I just don't want to give her anything else to worry about. She just lost her home, she's still getting used to being the Winter Maiden, and now she has all this human stuff to deal with. She needs my support right now, and I don't want to accidentally push her away."

Yang's expression softened at that, and she slowly crossed the room to sit down beside Ruby.

"I get that," she said quietly, suddenly much more sympathetic than frustrated. "And I know I'm being kind of pushy, but I don't want you to miss out. This could be your only chance for a while to actually go on dates and have fun with her."

Ruby let out another, heavier sigh and leaned back onto her hands, tilting her face toward the ceiling.

Yang was right. They might have a respite now, but Salem could show up any day. This chance to be students again wasn't going to last forever. They were getting to be kids one last time, and that would be over the moment Salem made herself known again. Then there would be no dates or time to worry about feelings, probably just regrets if she didn't do this now.

"What do I even say to her?" she asked quietly. "I've never liked someone like this before. What if I screw something up?"

"Just be honest with her." Yang put an arm around Ruby's shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze. "Tell her how you feel, ask her if she wants to go out, and let Nora and I take care of the rest. We'll find a nice place for you to go, and I'll tell you everything I know about impressing girls."

She winked good-naturedly and released Ruby, who then took a deep breath and stood. She didn't feel even remotely prepared for this, but there was a decent chance it could be now or never.

"I'm gonna go see if I can find her." Ruby decided, steeling herself. She made her way toward the door, giving her sister a nervous grin over her shoulder as she left. "Wish me luck."

---------------------

Ruby found Penny an hour later in Shade's library, sitting at one of the tables with a pile of books. From the looks of it, she'd been here a while, possibly making her way through a series.

"Hey," Ruby said quietly as she reached Penny's table. "What are you reading?"

Penny glanced up, looking mildly startled.

"Oh, it's just a fantasy story," she replied sheepishly, lowering the book in her hands. "It's a bit silly, but I've never had time to just sit and read before. I'm finding it quite enjoyable!"

"That's good." Ruby smiled and took a seat across from Penny, clasping her hands anxiously in her lap. "Sorry if I'm interrupting you or anything, I just wanted to ask you something."

"Of course." Penny put her book down and leaned forward attentively.

"I was just wondering if, um..." Ruby squeezed her fingers, trying to steady her voice long enough to get the question out. "If you wanted to... go out with me sometime? Like, on a date? I-If not, it's totally cool, I just... y'know..."

Penny blinked at her slowly, and Ruby shrank back as much as the chair would allow her to.

"A date?" Penny inquired.

"Yeah," Ruby replied, her face burning. Dear God please let her know what a date is, she thought frantically. "I really like you, like more than just a friend. I've been wanting to tell you for a while, but I was scared of making you uncomfortable, but then I realized that with everything going on I might not get another chance for a while, and- Penny?"

Caught up in her rant, it had taken Ruby far to long to realize that Penny wasn't listening to her. Instead, she was just staring blankly, her expression completely unreadable.

"Are you okay?" Ruby leaned across the table and waved her hand in front of Penny's face. "Are you bluescreening?"

Back when she'd had a mechanical body, Penny had occasionally 'bluescreened' when struggling to process some new piece of information. She usually snapped out of it within a few minutes, so Ruby wasn't particularly concerned, but she had to admit she was surprised that Penny was still doing it even in a human body.

"Yes." Penny said suddenly, shaking herself a bit.

"I- what?"

"Yes, I will go on a date with you." Penny clarified, her face turning slightly pink. "I like you too, quite a lot."

"Really?" Ruby's shoulders sagged with relief, and she couldn't help the grin spreading across her face.

"Of course." Penny said with a little smile. "I would have said something much sooner if I had thought you might feel the same way."

"How could I not?" Ruby asked softly. "You're so sweet and beautiful and kind. It was kind of impossible not to fall in love with you."

Penny's blush intensified, and she looked away bashfully.

"You are all of those things too." she replied, her voice quiet and shy.

Ruby chuckled softly, then straightened herself and cleared her throat before either them could get any more flustered.

"So," she went on. "I was thinking maybe we could do dinner tomorrow around six? Or, well, Yang was thinking that, but I have no idea how to plan dates so I'm just listening to what she says."

"That sounds perfect." Penny said enthusiastically.

"Great," Ruby smiled and rose from her seat. "I'll let you get back to your reading. See you tomorrow."

Ruby turned to leave, barely hearing Penny's quiet "Goodnight," as she rushed out of the library. The moment the doors slammed shut behind her, she let out a loud, shaky laugh. She'd done it. She'd actually done it. She'd managed to land herself a date, and now all she had to do was survive it.

--------------------

Penny had to admit, she'd been surprised to hear that her best friend had a crush on her. Delighted, of course, but so very surprised. She'd been planning to keep her own feelings a secret forever, lest Ruby find them unusual or inappropriate, but that was no longer necessary. Ruby shared the same feelings, and apparently they were quite normal.

It was a relief to know that, but Penny couldn't say that all of her anxieties had been quelled. According to Ruby, the next step after confessing their feelings was going on a date together, a concept with which Penny was not particularly familiar. She had a basic idea of how it was supposed to work, but she wasn't sure of the correct way to behave or what she was supposed to say while they were out.

Penny had gone to Nora with these concerns, hoping for some friendly advice, and had been promptly and quite literally dragged into Team JNPR's dorm room for a pre-date pep talk.

"You really don't have all that much to worry about." Nora said as she worked on lacing up the back of Penny's dress. It was quite similar to one she'd worn to Beacon's dance; light green, knee-length, and very soft. She'd borrowed it from an upperclassman named Velvet, who she knew by association due to her team's friendship with Team RWBY.

"But what if I say something wrong?" Penny asked anxiously, running her fingers through her hair. She'd already brushed through it twice, but perhaps one more time couldn't hurt.

"What would you say wrong?" Nora inquired as she finished with the dress. "You two are already friends, so you don't have to deal with any of that 'getting to know each other' business. Just go and have fun. And make sure you laugh at all her jokes."

"All of them?" Penny echoed unenthusiastically. Her sense of humor was quite different from the majority of her friends, and she sometimes had trouble discerning whether something was a joke. How would she know what to laugh at?

"Unless they're offensive or something, but it's Ruby so I doubt that." Nora shrugged and grabbed a bit of Penny's hair, gently fluffing it out. "Think you're ready?"

"Maybe?" Penny replied. "Do I look presentable?"

"You're gorgeous, Pebbles." Nora turned Penny around so they were face to face, placing two firm, comforting hands on her friend's shoulders. "Everything's gonna be fine, okay? You've gone places with Ruby hundreds of times; just act how you normally would."

"Okay." Penny nodded. She could do that.

----------------

The restaurant Penny had been invited to was a small café hardly a stone's throw from Shade's campus. From what Penny could tell, it seemed to be primarily frequented by the school's students, as the majority of the people sitting in the outdoor area were wearing school uniforms.

Of the three that were not, one was Ruby, clad in a black top and bright red skirt that just barely reached her knees. She spotted Penny from her table near the café's front window and waved her over with a shy smile.

"Hey," she greeted softly as Penny approached. "You look really nice."

"As do you." Penny replied politely, sincerely hoping that the grin on her face didn't look too silly. She stood there awkwardly for a moment before taking a seat, leaning forward so their table's umbrella could better protect her fair skin from the sun.

For a good two minutes, they sat there in silence, Ruby seemingly avoiding eye contact and Penny quietly fidgeting while she tried to think of something to say.

"This place is pretty cool, right?" Ruby offered at last, glancing in Penny's direction.

"I think it's quite hot, actually." Penny replied. Ruby let out a soft chuckle, and she quickly realized her mistake. "Oh! You meant- yes, it's very cool."

Penny briefly averted her gaze as her face grew warm, but she was saved from any further embarrassment by the arrival of a tired-looking waitress.

"Have you two decided on anything?" she asked, placing two glasses of water down on the table. As she did so, she fixed Penny with the same vaguely suspicious look every Atlesian refugee had been receiving from the locals.

It wasn't entirely uncalled for, considering everything her nation had done to theirs, but it made her uncomfortable nonetheless.

"Um..." Penny glanced down at the menu, eager to get the waitress's eyes off of her. Impulsively, she ordered the first thing she saw. "The fried scorpion, please."

"I'll have the same." Ruby said immediately.

"Interesting choice." The waitress remarked as she took their menus. 'For a couple of outsiders' was implied.

Penny watched her walk away, mildly dreading the sight of what she would return with.

"What the hell did we just order?" Ruby mumbled, so softly that Penny couldn't be entirely certain the words were for her.

"It will likely be fine," she answered anyway. "Scorpion is a common dish here."

"Yeah, I guess." Ruby replied, once again avoiding eye contact. Penny's brow furrowed and she leaned a bit closer to her date over the table.

Ruby seemed remarkably uncomfortable, wringing her hands and glancing about as if searching for a way out of the situation. Did she not want to be here? Had Penny done something wrong?

If so, she hadn't the slightest clue what her mistake could have been, but relationships were so complicated that she wouldn't be surprised if she'd broken some unspoken rule. Perhaps she'd missed a joke she was supposed to laugh at, or-

"Penny?"

Penny was jolted out of her thoughts, only just realizing that Ruby was waving a hand in front of her face. She blinked hard, mildly startled.

"Are you okay?" Ruby asked gently.

"Yes," Penny said with a quick nod. "Yes, I'm fine."

"You've got to stop bluescreening on me." Ruby gave her a small, kind smile. "What were you trying to figure out?"

Penny hesitated briefly. She almost didn't want to say it for fear that she might be right. Yet again, if she had somehow messed up the date, she wanted to know what she'd done wrong.

"It's just..." she began eventually. "You seem as if you don't want to be here. I was wondering if maybe I did something wrong? Or if you regret asking me out?"

"Of course not!" Ruby's eyes widened in mild alarm. "What made you think that?"

"You just seem so uncomfortable." For emphasis, Penny mimicked the hand-wringing motion Ruby had been doing. "I was worried you thought this was a mistake."

"God, no," Ruby reached across the table and gently took Penny's hands in her own. "You didn't do anything wrong, Penny. Asking you out was not a mistake."

She brushed her thumbs along the backs of Penny's hands; an intimate gesture, if Penny remembered correctly.

"I think letting someone else plan this for us might have been a mistake, though." Ruby admitted. "I don't think I'm really a dinner date person."

"What do you mean?" Penny inquired.

"I mean this all feels a little... stuffy, I guess." Ruby shrugged. "I don't like sitting here in formalwear trying to make awkward conversation with a bunch of other people around. This doesn't feel like us, y'know?"

"I think I understand." Penny nodded slowly. She had to admit, this wouldn't have been her first choice of venue either. "What do you think would feel like us?"

"Do you remember that night with the fireflies?" Ruby asked. Penny nodded again, a small smile spreading across her face. "That felt like us. It was just you and me having fun, enjoying nature and stuff."

"That was a very special night," Penny agreed fondly. "But I do not believe we would be able to recreate it here. As far as I know, no species of a firefly is native to Vacuo."

"It doesn't have to be exactly the same." Ruby seemed thoughtful for a moment, quietly drumming her fingers on the table. "What if we went up on the roof of Shade's dorms? We could be alone and just enjoy each other's company."

"I like the sound of that." Penny almost stood up, but suddenly remembered that they'd already ordered. Would it be considered rude to leave?

"It's alright," Ruby seemed to read Penny's mind as she rose from her seat. "I don't think it counts as dining and dashing if we haven't gotten our food yet."

Penny supposed that made sense. She hesitated a moment longer before standing up, glad that she wouldn't have to see that waitress again. Ruby extended her arm, and Penny linked it with her own as they began walking away from the restaurant. As soon as they'd cleared the tables, Ruby visibly relaxed.

"This already feels better," she remarked.

"It does." Penny agreed. They walked together in silence for a few minutes, Penny's face growing warm as an unfamiliar sensation spread throughout her body.

Suddenly overtaken with boldness, Penny leaned over and pressed her lips to Ruby's cheek, holding them there for a moment before slowly pulling away. Ruby's eyes widened in surprise, but she didn't seem at all bothered.

"Was that... okay?"

"It was more than okay," Ruby replied, glancing over at Penny with a smile. "That was perfect."

"It seems our night has been salvaged." Penny smiled back at her, faltering briefly as Ruby rested her head on her shoulder.

"Yeah," she said, her warm breath tickling the skin of Penny's neck. "It has."

If you enjoyed this piece, please consider reblogging to share it with others and help the post gain a bit of traction! It would absolutely make my day and make the three months I spent trying to finish this feel worth it!

#rwby #penny polendina #ruby rose #nuts n dolts #nuts and dolts #catch me begging for reblogs at the end of every post lmao

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wormstacheangel · 3 years

Text

Second part to the mixtape headcanon. Dean’s reaction to Cas being at his door in the middle of the night with the mixtape in hand.

Dedicated to Liv ( @blue-eyed-cutiepatootie ) sorry it took me a while but here it is. Might not be what you expected but hopefully you enjoy it either way.

Cas stopped short in front of Dean’s door. His heart raced as he held the Walkman to his chest, clinging to the words he just heard, but he knew those words were years old. So much has changed in general, but between them, it felt like a still lake.

Since coming back, Dean has acted as if those dying words weren’t even spoken. Sometimes Cas wondered if he imagined the whole thing, but he knew the truth; Dean didn’t feel the same way and didn’t want to make it uncomfortable for them.

It was something Cas has accepted the last few weeks of being in the bunker, being home, but now, with Dean’s secret message, he felt the courage in him bubble up his throat.

Cas quickly knocked three loud, quick bangs with his fist before waiting for a response. He heard a groggy, “What?”

“Dean? May I—Can we talk?”

Cas didn’t hear an answer right away, and for a second, he thought maybe Dean fell back asleep; he knew it was the early morning hours but wasn’t quite sure of the exact time. Still, time never really meant anything to him before, but now, as a human, time has become precious, and he didn’t want to keep wasting it.

He took a deep, shaky breath, raising his fist to knock again, but the door then clicked open. Revealing a disheveled and disoriented Dean.

He leaned against the door frame wearing lemon patterned boxer briefs and a hand up his t-shirt to scratch at his chest, as he yawned before he blinked at Cas a few times, “Dude, it’s 3 am. What can’t wait ‘til morning?”

Cas swallowed his nerves down before looking down at the Walkman to take out the tape. He brought it up to Dean’s face, and with an earnest voice, he said, “You said to come ASAP. So I’m here.”

Dean only looked at the cassette tape; a small gasp of a breath raised his chest, but then his face scrunched up in the familiar fixed glare, so Cas continued knowing Dean won’t talk. Not yet anyway.

He put the cassette back into the Walkman as he talked, rewinding it to keep his nervous hands busy. “I believe I understood what you—what the songs mean, but I am still so new at all this. If I am wrong, I don’t want it hurting us.” Cas took a sneaky look back up at Dean to find him watching the Walkman with the same intensity Cas was.

It only took a few seconds, and then Dean was shuffling in the doorway as the first song, Ramble On, started to play through the headphones. With no other words, Dean opened his bedroom door open just a little more, an invitation to come in, before he walked back over to sit at the edge of his bed.

When Cas walked in, he closed the door behind him but stood awkwardly by it. He broke the silence first as he looked anywhere but at Dean.

“You know what, maybe this can wait until morning.”

“You already woke me up.” Cas looked up to meet Dean’s stare, it wasn’t cold, but it still sent a shiver down Cas’s spine. “So talk.”

Cas opened his mouth, not knowing what words he was even forming, but Dean stood with a hand up to stop him before any words were spoken.

“Actually, first, why are you bringing this up again? I gave you that thing years ago.”

Cas put the Walkman down on Dean’s desk, the music softer but still background music, before looking at Dean with guilty soft eyes, not knowing how to explain himself. “Yes. I just heard—I appreciate the gift, Dean. Thank you but-um.”

Dean seemed taken back by the words, and, by his hardening demeanor, Cas knew they were the wrong ones. Dean was building walls up again.

“You know what, Cas,” Dean scrubbed a hand down his face as he glared past Cas with an uneasy smile settled on his face. “I can’t do this right now. How about we leave the rejections for some other time? Yeah?”

Cas opened his mouth, confused, but Dean nodded.

“Good. Night, Cas.”

Oh. He was already being rejected. It made sense that Dean’s feelings changed after all this time. He must have been waiting for Cas to mention the message, but it’s too late now. He lost Dean’s love.

Cas reached for the Walkman, but now he wasn’t sure if he wanted to listen to those songs, understanding why Dean skips them now. So he fists up his hands, leaving the Walkman where it laid, before giving Dean a stiff nod in return.

“Understood. Goodnight, Dean.”

Dean didn’t say anything in return, his jaw clenching as he looked at anywhere but Cas. “And take your damn gift with you.”

Cas’s chest tightened at the words. He felt familiar pain spread through his body, one he wished had a physical reason than an emotional, psychological one because a fist to his chest would hurt less.

“I don’t want it anymore.” Cas spit out as he opened the bedroom door and walked out into the hallway. “Throw it away for all I care.”

He slams the door closed behind him and stalks to his room, slamming that door behind him as well.

Then as soon as he is in the safety of his own space, he can feel the pain making itself known, like a hot blade slowly cutting into him or something heavy sitting on his chest. Either way, he wanted it to stop. Wishing he never heard that message or that he heard it at the right time.

Cas laid wide awake in bed, curled up around a pillow he was hugging to his chest. He stared at the wall, wishing he had a better imagination to keep him entertained, but all he could see was Dean’s glare. The glare those green eyes dug into him really digging roots and pulling him apart from the inside out with an invisible pull.

He couldn’t go out there and face him now. Maybe, Cas should have just ignored the long-ago message. It was apparent Dean had lost those feelings for Cas; he would have brought up Cas’s dying words weeks ago if Dean felt remotely the same. Now Cas was left with an awkward situation he didn’t want to be a part of.

He needed to leave.

Cas knew that. This is how it always went. Cas needed to go.

Cas stood up to walk over to his desk to grab his wallet and keys before grabbing his coat, ready to sneak off before the sunrise. He’ll be gone before Dean can kick him out again.

He didn’t even get a chance to open his bedroom door before Dean was striding in with a determined glare, “Okay, fuck this, I think we really need to-” Dean stopped to look Cas up and down as his shoulders dropped. “You’re leaving.”

“I think—I think it’ll be best.”

Dean nodded, his bottom lip being sucked into his mouth as he stared back at Cas. “Sure. Just do what you do best. Runaway.” Dean threw whatever he held in his hand across the room and broke it with a loud bang. Cas flinched as he saw what it was, the Walkman. “Fuck if I care!”

Dean was already turning to walk away, but Cas grabbed hold of his arm to stop him. “Why are you so damn mad, Dean?” Cas walked to step in front of him. He moved until he finally locked eyes with the angry hunter. “I’m only doing this for you.”

Dean rolled his eyes and shrugged Cas’s touch away. “Don’t bullshit me, Cas! You’re running away cause you don’t want to face me.” Dean poked Cas’s chest as he continued his angry rant. “Why don’t you start acting like a fucking man and face the damn consequences instead of being a little bitch and running away?”

Cas didn’t stand down as he glared back at Dean. “Enlighten me then. What would those consequences be?”

Cas took Dean’s finger and pulled it away from his chest, but it stayed in his grasp as he took a step forward, never taking his eyes off the familiar angry glare. The angry man he left behind still here after all those years, looking back at him with an ‘I dare you’ stare, but Cas could always read past those words. Dean was hurting.

“Why don’t you stop acting like a…like a little bitch, and just-!” Cas stopped with a loud sigh while he dropped Dean’s hand, along with his stare. Instead, he looked down at their socked feet. Dean was wearing pizza socks while Cas wore matching burger ones. They came in the same pack, and Dean split it up for them. He cracked a small smile thinking of that day before looking back up at Dean with pleading eyes. “Dean. I’m tired of this. Can you please just…Just talk to me?”

“Nothing more to talk about, Cas.” Dean sounded more defeated than angry now. “I got the message. Loud and clear.”

Cas blinked at him a few times. “Well, I’m sorry, but I apparently haven’t gotten the same message.”

“Don’t play dumb.” Cas just stood there staring at him, waiting for him to continue. “Geez, Cas, how many times are you going to fuck with my—I get it, dude, you don’t feel the same! I am doing my damn best here to be fucking normal about this, and then here you come bringing that old relic back as if—Did I fuck up somehow? Am I not giving you enough space?”

“I have enough space, Dean.” Cas tried to understand Dean’s words, process them, but they all felt just as jumbled in his mind as they did, leaving Dean’s mouth. “I—I’m sorry, I just don’t understand.”

“Shocker.”

“Did I understand the message wrong?” Cas ignored him as he asked, turning his head towards the shattering remains of his gift.

He felt his shoulders fall as a pang of sadness hit him from seeing his first gift broken. Cas walked towards it, hoping he would find the tape safely stored away inside the deck of the Walkman. He crouched to pick up the big chunk of plastic in his hand. It was smashed beyond repair, and the eject button was not working. Great, he’s going to have to break it more.

“ASAP,” Dean mumbled to himself, and Cas hummed in response, twisting the part in his hand.

“Yes. That’s what you said, so I did.”

“I told you to talk to me ASAP years ago, Cas.” Cas didn’t have to look up to know Dean was walking closer to him. “Did you just listen to the message?”

“I did.” Cas’s shoulders slumped in guilt. Dean has been waiting for a response all this time. “Sorry.”

“So when you were—when you tried to return the tape, that wasn’t a, um, a rejection?”

Cas looked up at him before he stood up, the broken Walkman in his hand. “I have loved you then like I love you now, Dean. I would never. Is that what you think happened?”

“Yes!” Dean took a step forward as he ran his hand through his hair, his eyes traveling down to the broken shards. “Shit. So wait, when you said you loved me, before the empty…did you mean,” Dean cleared his throat as he walked closer, nervously scratching his beard when he realized he didn’t have any pockets to hide his hands in. “Did you mean romantically? Like, like human romance?”

“I,” Cas felt his throat dry up as he tried to swallow a lump as he nodded earnestly. “I did. Yes.”

Dean looked at him, looking for something, and before Cas could ask what it was, Dean had his hands on either side of Cas’s face—pulling him in close until they were chest to chest. Then lips to lips.

Cas didn’t even realize he dropped the machine until he realized he had his hands on Dean’s skin. Feeling his body lift off the floor until he was being dropped on the bed, and Cas was watching something he never thought he would have or hear.

“I love you, Cas. I love you so much.”

Happiness isn’t always in the having, but fuck, this was so much better by a long shot.

#miscommunication sure is a bitch #sorry they are frustrating idiots but they are in love so thats something #Destiel #Deancas #Supernatural #SPN #A More Profound OTP #destiel fic #destiel ficlet #destiel mixtape #My Writing #WormstacheWrites #Dean #Cas

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calswildflcwer · 2 years

Text

It’s gone 11pm and I’m about to get real sentimental so if y’all don’t wanna see that then scroll on by 😂

I kid you not when I tell y’all that some of my best friends are on this site. I don’t even know any of y’all personally and yet I still class you as my best friends.

The friends I’ve made on this site have been the ones to make me smile after a crappy day at work and have been the people to show me the MOST love, even if it’s just memes in my ask box telling me something like “Hey! I love you”. Y’all don’t understand how much I appreciate that or how much I appreciate y’all.

I didn’t grow up in a home where I was told “I love you”, like at all. I never heard that from any of my parents, or even any irl friends (they all left me years ago). You guys make me smile so damn much and I am so so honoured to have y’all in my life, even little rants about Camilo fics in dms (you know who you are 😂). You all continue to amaze me every single freaking day with your kind comments and your amazing random asks in my ask box.

Y’all are shining lights in my life and I adore each and every freaking one of you, honestly. Thank y’all for gracefully hop, skipping and tripping your way into my life, however you did it, I’m honestly so damn grateful for all of you! Please stay with me for as long as possible because y’all really are some of the best people I’ve ever met! Sending so so much love y’all’s way (because I feel like I don’t say it enough!).

You are all worth more than you think and loved more than you’ll ever know. Thank you for loving me, for not judging me (esp those who don’t judge me on my age), for being friends with me and for putting up with me! You’re all stars and you all deserve every ounce of happiness that this world has to offer. I love y’all.

Honourable mentions go to; @baileeblanc, @phoenix-tries-to-write, @la-familia-petekey, @duckymomo002, @hunterxassasin, @the-ice-frozen-ground-red-rose, @camilos-mivida, @soumya-13, @elegantkidfansoul, @doloreshearsyou, @tigreost, @try-cry-why-try, @iyahpostsstuff, @supersolider, @samiiika + probably so many more that I can’t remember rn 🥺

Okay, I’m going to bed now though, goodnight to all of y’all! 😴😘

#bee gets sentimental #bees rambles #bee speaks #bees thoughts #bee rambles #bee loves y’all #y’all are legitimately so important to me #like you all deserve the whole world omg #i love yall #camilosunshxne appreciation post #camilosunshxne

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julek · 4 years

Text

five times jaskier does nice things for roach, and one time she returns the favor.

(or, jaskier spends a ridiculous amount of time and money on a horse).

“i told you not to touch roach,” geralt says when he hears his mare stomping her feet on the ground, displeased. she’s tethered to a tree near their fire and geralt, now busy brewing some potions, had finished brushing her a few minutes ago.

jaskier curses himself mentally, still not used to geralt and his witcher hearing, capable of listening to a bird’s cry three towns away. reluctantly, he draws his hand away from the horse, grinning innocently in geralt’s direction.

“i was just saying goodnight!” he says, sitting down cross-legged on his bedroll, “first impressions are very important, you know. wouldn’t want her to think i was being impolite on purpose, not when we are this”—he pinches his fingers together—“close to being best friends.”

geralt looks up at him, unimpressed. “she doesn’t like you.”

behind them, roach snorts in agreement, and jaskier splutters in indignance.

the forest is quiet.

no birds chirping, no predators lurking around, no sound. ideal work conditions, in geralt’s opinion. he’s crouched down next to a fallen tree, waiting for the drowners to take his bait.

suddenly, the swamp’s stillness is breached by soft singing and feet stepping on branches. rolling his eyes, geralt stands up as quietly as possible and walks over to jaskier, who’s busy picking flowers from a nearby meadow.

“i told you to stay with roach,” he says in greeting, his eyes narrowed in annoyance.

jaskier yelps and turns around to face him, clutching his heart and letting the flowers fall to the ground.

“gods, geralt! warn a guy, would you? i thought you were one of those, um… what do you call them? swimmers.”

“drowners.”

“my words exactly,” he says, gathering some long stems. “i was waiting with roach, mind you, but i got bored. so i looked around and thought hey! roach looks awfully dull without some pretty flowers weaved in her mane, so here i am.”

geralt lifts his eyebrows, abandoning all hope for a peaceful, quick hunt.

“she’ll trample you to death before she lets you touch her,” he deadpans.

jaskier tsks, already making his way back to their camp with his fresh selection of flowers.

geralt waits for the inevitable.

“fucking ow!” he hears, and feels a smile tugging at his lips. “that doublet was new! that is not how one reacts to gifts, you vicious horse. did that witcher teach you nothing about manners?”

he did, actually. he’s glad she’s putting them to use.

“fuck, i’m cold.”

they’re in the outskirts of blaviken, and much to jaskier’s chagrin, they’re making camp in the forest. winter’s near, and as much as he would have liked to sleep in a warm bed, he would have turned it down anyway. he’d seen the look on geralt’s face as they approached the town, and that had been enough of a reason to follow him into the forest.

jaskier is pacing around the fire, his woolen cloak snug around his shoulders, doing little to protect him from the biting wind. geralt had gone deeper into the forest to hunt something for their dinner and hadn’t yet returned.

he looks over his shoulder at roach, who’s laying down on the ground, her legs tucked under her body. geralt had slung a blanket over her back, and she’d been dozing off for the last half hour, seemingly unfazed by the cold.

he knows it’s a bad decision, and he’ll probably be kicked and yelled at, but right now he can’t find it in himself to care. his fingers are frozen and he can’t feel his ears, and he’s sure he’ll drop dead any minute now from hypothermia, so why not?

“hi, beautiful,” he whispers, crouching down next to roach, watching her reaction. “do you mind if i sit next to you? you see, it’s horribly cold,” he sits down, carefully as not to startle her, “and it’s something my brothers and i used to do, you know? huddling for warmth.”

if roach notices him laying against her side, she doesn’t show it. he gently places his head on top of her spine, and drapes himself in his cloak.

“you’re incredibly warm, did you know that? had i known that before, i would have cuddled you sooner.”

he’s so warm and comfortable he almost doesn’t notice geralt coming back. he hears his footfalls but decides to ignore them, too cozy to move, but roach has other plans. all of a sudden, she stands up, leaving him on the floor, confused.

“wha—roach!” he exclaims, picking himself off the ground. “we were doing fine! what happened?”

geralt smirks as he starts to skin the rabbit. “maybe that will teach you not to bother her.”

“but you don’t understand, i—we were happily laying side by side just a minute ago!” jaskier says, sitting in front of the fire. “you startled her.”

geralt snorts. “i did?”

jaskier rolls his eyes and looks at roach, who’s laying down again, unperturbed. “traitor,” he whispers.

spices, curated meats, oils, and baked goods are all geralt can smell, meaning this particular market isn’t too big and they’ll be out on the road soon. that, if he can get jaskier to hurry and get whatever he so desperately needs.

“oh, that stone is beautiful,” the bard says to a bald salesman, keen on selling him a new ring. “alas, it’s much too expensive for me.”

he gives the salesman a sheepish smile and moves on to the next stall.

“i just need one more thing, dear witcher, and we can be on our way,” he says, grinning.

geralt arches a brow, but says nothing. better not to distract him, he’s learned.

“hello, madam!” he chirps, looking at the goods displayed on her counter, “if you would be so kind, i’d like a full bag of sugar cubes.”

huh. that’s not what geralt had been expecting. cherries, maybe, or a honeycake, not sugar cubes.

jaskier pays the woman and kindly thanks her, then ties the small bag to his belt. “well, i’m done. are we leaving?”

geralt nods.

they make their way to the side of the road, where roach is nibbling on the outgrown grass. he takes the herbs he’d purchased and places them inside roach’s saddlebag, while jaskier resumes his daily chattering.

“you’re looking quite dashing today, my lady,” he says, gently stroking the mare’s neck.

geralt expects roach to hastily brush jaskier’s hand aside, but much to his surprise, she doesn’t, snorting happily instead. he looks at them for a second, dumbfounded.

“geralt? are we going, then?”

“hmm.”

summer is kind enough to let a gentle breeze filter through the trees, giving jaskier a breath of clean air.

he’s got his breeches rolled up to his knees, and his doublet is nowhere to be seen. they’d been traveling nonstop for two long, humid days, the burning sun above them, and jaskier had been too tired to even sing, lazily strumming his lute as he walked next to geralt. then, in the middle of a pointless rant about how the world would be better off without the sun and its infernal heat, jaskier spotted a stream.

grabbing roach’s brush from geralt’s saddlebags, jaskier takes her reins and gently leads her into the stream. she complies, braying lightly as she feels the water on her legs.

“i know, girl,” jaskier says, gathering water on his cupped hands and letting it pour on her head, minding her ears, “it’s too hot out, even for you.”

he looks over to geralt, who’s got his back to them, scrubbing mud from his boots.

“you know,” he murmurs, smoothly brushing her mane, scratching behind her ears, “he doesn’t think we’re friends, you and i.” she snorts in response, and he chuckles. “he still thinks you don’t like me.”

she moves forward, and jaskier’s about to move out of the way to let her walk out of the stream when she bumps her head affectionately against his chest.

“oh,” he whispers, overcome with emotion. “as you know, i’ve become quite the expert at reading geralt’s hums and silences, but this is uncharted territory. animal behavior is foreign to me.”

she swishes her tail, and jaskier huffs out a laugh.

“i’ll give it my own meaning, then,” he says, pressing his nose against her snout. “i love you too.”

the tavern is packed to the brim, overflowing with hearty patrons who served as a great audience, generously rewarding jaskier with applause and tankards of ale with his name written on them.

“thank you, my good men and women, for listening to my tales!” he exclaims, hopping off the stool he’d been using as a makeshift stage.

he heads to the bar, picking up two of the mugs and moving toward the corner where geralt’s sitting, half-hidden under the shadows.

“help yourself, witcher,” he says, smiling brightly. “the crowd was kind to us tonight.”

to you, geralt thinks but doesn’t say. instead, he takes a swig of ale. “so i’ve seen.”

jaskier beams at him, his cheeks flushed and his hair matted with sweat. he downs half his glass, sitting back on his chair, sighing contentedly.

they spend the evening in comfortable silence, jaskier casually making remarks about the town or the last contract, taking small bites out of a piece of bread. after a while, geralt stands up.

“i’ll go check on roach.”

“oh, good!” jaskier says, standing next to him. “i forgot my quill in her saddlebags, i’ll go with you.”

geralt hums, and they walk past the people at the tavern. they reach the half-lit stables at the back, where roach chews on some straw in her stall.

“hey, sweetheart,” jaskier greets, stroking her snout. geralt starts brushing her down, and jaskier looks into her saddlebags for his forgotten quill. a long time ago, geralt had given up on trying to split their belongings into different bags, realizing the your side, my side logic meant nothing to jaskier.

after all, they shared everything. coin, wine, food. beds, sometimes, waking up with their legs entwined, jaskier’s head on geralt’s shoulder, embraced in what they both tried to pass off as the natural seeking of warmth on cold nights, nothing else.

jaskier leans against a pillar, watching geralt take care of his horse. they’d been traveling together for so long, yet it still amazes jaskier to see geralt move around roach. how his gaze softens, and a small smile stretches across his lips, only for roach to see. how he murmurs sweet nothings, rubbing that spot on her jaw he knows she likes.

“okay,” geralt says, “go to sleep, now. we’re leaving at dawn.”

roach bumps her head against geralt’s chest, lovingly, and he gives her a smile.

“goodnight, darling,” jaskier says, sneaking a sugar cube into her mouth. “i’ll see you tomorrow.”

when he turns back, geralt’s looking at them with a fond expression, a small smile on his lips. he moves toward jaskier, his eyes soft.

“you’re spoiling her”, he says, amused. this close, jaskier can see geralt’s got a little bit of mud on his chin, and he wants to wipe it off.

“she’s a good horse,” jaskier tells him, feeling roach’s eyes on him. “she deserves nice things.”

“hmm.” geralt closes his eyes for a moment, exhaling softly.

jaskier moves forward, licking his thumb, and gently wipes geralt’s chin. he opens his eyes, watching jaskier.

“there,” jaskier whispers, his thumb now stroking geralt’s cheek.

suddenly, he feels roach nudge him forward with her snout, and he stumbles onwards, clutching geralt’s shirt for balance. they’re close, geralt’s breath on jaskier’s cheek, his hands on the bard’s waist.

“she’s a clever horse, too,” geralt says, pressing the tip of his nose against jaskier’s, rubbing softly.

“she is,” jaskier murmurs against geralt’s lips.

roach nickers softly in agreement.

#mywriting #geraskier #geraskier fanfic #roach deserves soft things

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kattwritesuwu · 3 years

Note

Can I request a Clingy!monsterTom x Depressed!Reader? Maybe with cutting and suicidal thoughts?

I sure can!!! I LOVE angst!!!!!

---------------------

Fandom: Eddsworld

Character: Tom

Reader: Depressed

Fic type: Comfort/angst

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING: This WILL heavily mention suic/de, blood, and perhaps other triggering topics, read at your own risk!!

Notes: People, I'm not trying to make depression and similar illness romantic, this is simply for comfort.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hate everything.

Well, not everything, but the majority, y'know? Everything just...sucks. Life in general, it's all terrible.

People are terrible. Sure, I've found a few choice people that aren't the bane of my existence, but even they have their flaws.

Am I saying that I'm some heaven sent angel? Hell no I'm not. I'm just as terrible if not more! I hate everyone, including myself.

Am I lying? Yeah. Do I have a crush on someone? Yeah. Am I gonna do something about it? Nope.

Why should I? It's not like I'll be here longer anyways...

I'm planning to kill myself.

Am I scared? Kind of. But at this point I don't care. I'm always scared anyways. Always on my guard around people.

Most people don't know the fear and pain of constantly feeling...numb.

It's not like I never feel anything, it's just so rare. My most common emotion is pain. I just want to curl up in a ball and die. But all I can ever being myself to do is cry, and even that's a rare occurrence at this point.

I feel so alone.

Friends? Yeah I have a few.... they're all a bit odd in their own way. Can't complain though, they're like family to me.

My real family? Not many immediate ones, plus, I moved to England five years ago. They called me everyday for the first couple of months. Nowadays, I can barely get a text back... I get that they have their own lives in their respective country, but man, it just makes me so cold-feeling...

I guess where I was going with this, is that I'm scared. Not of my inevitable death, but everything else.

I'm scared of anything and everything now that I think about it. I don't exactly mean common fears they talk about in elementary school, I'm talking real world problems.

I'm scared of failure, not sure why. I've failed enough in my life....it shouldn't even faze me at this point.

Im especially scared of people.

My friends? Yeah them too. What if I make a fool of myself and they think I'm an idiot? What if I make the wrong move, and they hate me? They probably hate me enough as it is...

That why I won't confess to Tom. He'll hate me afterwards. There's just no point in ruining something for nothing in return.

These were the thoughts that ran through my head as my arms and legs were sliced up by a blade driven by my own hands. It's wasn't like it hurt. All it really did was sting, I'm just that used to being hurt, I suppose.

As I was wrapping up my little 'session' I heard a knock on my door,

"(Y/N)! You in there? It's dinner time! I made breakfast for dinner!" A British accent leaked through my door.

I didn't scramble around at the thought of him walking in, my door was locked after all. It's not like I'm that stupid.

" I'll be there in a few minutes, Edd." I spoke back in a raspy voice, not bothering to yell. Edd has good ears, he can somehow hear a whisper from across the house.

It takes me a minute or two to get up and walk into the bathroom that connects to my room. I stumble a bit with the loss of blood.

Once I get in there I take a quick shower, just barely long enough to stop the bleeding and make it appear as if you just took an actual shower.

Once I get out of the shower, I slip on my (favorite color) hoodie.

That was an easy part of hiding my self abuse. Everyone in the house wore a hoodie of their own designated color.

I also slipped on a longer article of clothing to go onto my legs. Couldn't let them see my thighs either.

Once I finished the rest of my cleaning up, I headed out of my little bathroom, and in front of my door. I took a deep breath, put on a smile, and walked out.

I got about halfway down the stairs before a screech startled me, causing me to trip a bit,

" (Y/N) IS HERE! YAY!" The high pitch British scream could only belong to the narcissistic ginger known as Matt.

Once I got my balance back into my feet, I continued down the stairs and greeted Matt with a wave.

" Yeah she lives here, idiot. She's not going anywhere." A deeper voice had spoken, I turned around and Tom was there as expected. I smile shrunk a bit at his last comment.

" Sup (y/n)." You snapped out of your thoughts and responded with a casual 'yo.'

The three of us then heard a thick accent cursing in the kitchen, no doubt it was Tord,

" For jævla skyld! Just let me have the last piece!!"

Sure enough, when we walked into the kitchen, Edd and Tord were fighting over the last piece of bacon. I let out a sigh, and the two boys finally acknowledged our existence. That alone didn't stop their argument though.

I didn't even bother attempting to break up the fight, I never could anyways. Their little fuss always ends one of two ways. Edd steals the bacon from under Tord's nose, or vise versa.

I just grabbed a small portion of food, and sat down.

I knew I would be gone by the end of tonight...but I wanted to taste Edd's cooking one last time.

Something interesting happened, instead of one of the two boys getting the bacon, they halved it and sat down. Of all my four years living in this house with these people, they've never shared their bacon.

Strange.

Dinner wasn't as talkative as it usually was when we all ate at the table. Usually we'd all have a big group discussion about our day, or week. Tonight was quiet, giving me an opportunity,

" Hey, guys?" Each one of their heads turned to me, and Edd signalled me to continue,

" I just wanted to say, thank you." Their brows furrowed but I held out a hand to tell them to let me finish,

" You four have helped me with so much over the past few years. From when you let me live here when I couldn't find proper housing situations, to letting me borrow the car. I just wanted to formally tell you all how grateful I really am. You are truly the kindest people I've ever met." As I went on talking, I realized how bad of an idea this actually was.

I mean, will they get suspicious? I'm just showing gratitude right? It shouldn't sound like a cry for help or anything...

As I snapped out of thought for the fiftieth time today, I notice that all of the boys have some type of smile on their face, even Tom!

Edd was smiling like a proud mother,

Matt was smiling giddily,

Tord had a smug, 'cool guy' smile,

And Tom had the smallest smile that made my heart melt.

I awkwardly continued my fake smile, and sat down.

Conversation continued on as would on a normal night, with the topic being past pleasant memories.

I volunteered to wash the dishes, it was the least I could do. There was only one problem. For some ungodly reason, Tom had insisted on helping me.

I couldn't figure out why at first, untill it dawned on me that he probably needed something from me.

So as I scrubbed the forgetten food off of the ceramic plate, he rinsed and dried them. We did this in silence, aside from the running water. Tom's the first one to break the tension filled silence,

" So, how have you been?" It was such a simple question, I could have simply faked a toothy grin, and said that I was great. I could have thanked him for asking. I could have asked him back.

But I only did one of those things.

" I've been doing just as good as I always do." I reply with a small sad smile. I tear my eyes away from the dish water," How about you? You've been awfully quiet tonight."

He chuckles lowly," Just had a lot on my mind, trying to face some of my problems, that's all." I stop what I'm doing and look over at him,

" Do you want to talk about it? I think the others are asleep already."

Normally when Tom is having any type of problem, he comes to me for advice, or even just for someone to listen to him rant when he's drunk. I even gave him a spare key to my room if he ever needs me while I'm asleep. He's offered the same for me, but I told him that I have a counselor. I try not to lie to my housemates all the time, only when necessary.

He simply shakes his head in response," Nah, this is one I have to deal with on my own," I sigh,

" Alright then, but keep my offer in mind. Just try to remember to see me before I go to bed, I'm...going to bed early tonight. I have something to do tommorow." He nods in understanding.

After we finish the dishes, we say our goodnights,

" I'll see you in the morning, (y/n)." I give one last fake smile,

" Same to you, Tom. Sleep well." I see him nod and walk down the hall as I close my door and lock it for the final time.

I walk into my bathroom and look into the mirror. All I see is a monstrosity of a person glaring back at me.

The bags under my eyes had only gotten worse after the sleepless nights I spent writing my suicide note.

I decided to skip reading over it one last time, I want nothing that could alter my decision at hand here. If I read my dying love letter that's written to Tom, I might stop myself in some kind of silly hope that everything could be okay again. It was too late for all that now.

So, I grabbed my blade that had served me well over the years, and stepped into the bathtub. I didn't cry, I didn't shake in fear of what I was about to do. I sadly smiled instead. As I took my hoodie off, revealing a tank top that no one knew I owned. I set my hoodie softly onto the floor, and turned on the hot water.

I took a deep breath in, and sigh, grabbing my blade and getting to work on my first artery. It took me a couple tries to find it.

But once I did, it started the red tint in the once clear bath water. I took in a shaky breath, adjusting to the dizziness of loosing so much blood so quickly.

At this point I couldn't even hear the bathwater running, everything was muffled.

I reached to turn it off, and a hand was placed onto mine. It takes me a good second to register that there was someone next to the tub, yelling my name right next to my face.

I try my best to focus on who could have caught me. Yet it's so difficult to take in my surroundings at this point.

So as I stare at the person beside my bathtub with fading eyes. I feel pressure on my wound, and see something being wrapped around it.

I start panicking, trying to say no, to let me die.

But I just can't. I just watch as my life is saved against my will.

Suddenly I can see that I'm moving, I can't figure out how until I notice the arms carrying me bridal style to a soft surface. That's when I lost consciousness for the next hour.

I didn't exactly 'wake up' more like fazed into existence. It's like I just gradually became aware of what was around me.

I became aware of the sobs coming from my bedside, and of the pressure squeezing my hand.

I forced my eyes open and tried to sit up. Yet I instantly regretted my decision, pain shot throughout my body. I glance over to my hand and up the....purple arm....

Who is this? Or perhaps I should say, what is this?

It's some kind of...monster? Hybrid? It looked kind of human... I could only see the torso and up. Even then, the arms grew bigger the farther down the arms stretched, and turned a deeper and deeper shade of purple. Horns poked out of the head laying slightly onto my shin, poking me a bit.

" Am-" I hold my throat. That hurt. I clear my throat of the mucus and start again as the unknown monster wakes up,

" Am I dead?"

The monsters head shoots up, and I can't help but recognize the 'eyes' that I've grown to love.

" T-Tom..."

He tries to smile for me, but it twists into a sad frown as his black orbs start to water,

" (Y/n)....(y/n) you're...y-you're okay! You're okay..." He said this over and over again as he cupped my cheeks with his transformed hands.

I grab onto his forearm to steady his shaking. This was starting to scare me.

I had never seen this man shed a tear in front of me, yet alone bawl into my shoulder like he was doing now,

" Tom, it's okay, I'm right here." I whispered this, and many other reassurances into his ear. Confirming to him that it was going to be okay and that, to my displeasure, I wasn't going anywhere.

He seemed to get angry after a few minutes, he ripped himself away from me and took hold of my shoulders,

" WHAT IF YOU WEREN'T RIGHT HERE? WHAT IF I HADN'T OF WALKED IN!! WHAT THEN HUH? YOU WOULDN'T BE RIGHT HERE!!! YOU'D BE GONE!! I would have...lost you..." He slid down the side of my bed as he finished his outburst. He sat crying into his knees.

I didn't know what to do. Is he mad at me? But despite the questions, I acted without thinking.

I began to run my fingers through his hair, almost brushing it. He seemed surprised at first, before he leaned into my touch.

" I'm sorry Tom. I didn't think it would effect you like this..." All was silent for a few moments. Until,

" Why..?" He sniffled a few times before I could respond.

" Why? Why what?" He looked up to me,

" Why would you try to leave me?" I couldn't even bring myself to say anything after that. Tom seemed to sense the frog in my throat, and continued,

" You don't realize, (y/n). You don't realize how special you are. To your family, your friends. I mean bloody hell (y/n)! What about us?! Edd would be heartbroken! And how are we supposed to explain something like that to Matt?" I avoided the possible eye contact and twidled my thumbs in my lap,

" What about me (y/n)? How am I supposed to go on living with myself if you, the love of my life, killed herself?" My mind went blank. He took my hand in between both of his,

" I know this isn't the greatest time for this, but if it'll boost your self esteem even a little bit, I don't care about embarrassing myself. (Y/n) (L/n), I am deeply in love with you, and have been since you moved in. I've loved you since you helped me to bed when I came in drunk all those years ago. I've loved you since you beat my Pac-Man score at the arcade, I acted so mad, but you were just so cute so excited like that... (Y/n)... Please let me help you love yourself by loving you..."

By the time he was done with his speech, I was in tears, a small frown on my face. He seemed to get the wrong idea as he instantly dropped my hand and got up,

" I got the message, I'll just uhm... I'll just g-" I grabbed his hoodie strings and pulled him in for a kiss.

We could both tell that there would be many more to come.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm sorry if it's extremely long, I just love to write angst haha...

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azucanela · 4 years

Text

17. 2AM CALLS | TODOROKI SHOUTO

1K CELEBRATION MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: When Y/N can’t sleep, she decides, what better to do than call Shouto Todoroki himself. Of course, she didn’t actually expect him to pick up, seeing as it was 2AM. But when he does pick up, Y/N can’t help but feel comforted by his presence.

WORD COUNT: 1.1k

WARNINGS: brief mentions of nightmares, brief mentions of endeavor[yes he has a warning],

A/N: as you can see im in the mood to write for bnha folks atm anyways its a lil short but like shouto os

If Shouto was honest, he hated structure. He hated the idea of a daily routine he had to follow, and it was probably because he’d been following a schedule since his childhood. He’d had the time he woke up, ate, trained, and slept all dictated for him, to ensure he was prepared for his future— more accurately the future his father wanted him to have.

Maybe that made him sound a little bit like an anarchist but Shouto didn’t particularly care. Now, that he was in the UA dorms, he’d never had so much freedom. He chose when he woke up, ate, went to bed, trained, everything was his choice.

And his choice was to stay awake until 2AM because it’s the weekend and he can do what he wants. Of course, Shouto was being mildly productive, doing his homework ahead of time for not just his sake but also Y/N’s, full well knowing that she hasn’t even started yet and he’s going to have to explain it to her.

He’s putting his things away when his phone begin to vibrate on the desk, causing his brows to furrow. Shouto was fairly sure that nobody he knew was awake at this time, so he couldn’t help but wonder who was calling him as his eyes fell on the profile picture that had filled his entire phone screen. He’d taken it while they were out at some coffee shop she liked, Y/N had been staring out the window while she talked about a book she’d recently read, coffee in hand. Shouto thought she looked nice and snapped a picture, not that Y/N noticed as she was too engrossed in her rant.

Why was Y/N awake right now?

He’d noticed her fatigue in class and asked if she’d been sleeping well. She’d answered yes, but that didn’t really soothe his worries, nor did this call. Shouto quickly realized that if he didn’t pick up soon she’d be forced to voicemail, and propped the phone up against the wall before hitting accept for the call. He couldn’t hear much except a small gasp, and her forehead was visible only for a moment before she directed her camera to aim towards the ceiling.

“Y/N?”

The face of the girl in question appeared the screen, albeit only the side of her face was visible due to the poor positioning of her phone. “Hi, Sho.” She mumbles, face buried into her pillow, turning so that only half of her face is pressed against the pillow as she continues, “why are you up?

She sounds tired, and looks tired— something Shouto had learned was not to be mentioned— which left Shouto wondering just why exactly she hadn’t gone to bed. “I was finishing up some schoolwork.” Comes his reply, “and you?”

A small smile comes onto Y/N’s face as she hums in reply, inhaling deeply, Shouto notices that she’s wearing a shirt he recognized as his own. He finds himself thankful that she’s struggling to stay awake, failing to notice that a blush had dusted his cheeks as she replies, “bad dream.”

His brows furrowed at these words, though they were vague, Shouto had a feeling it hadn’t been the first night Y/N had been plagued by ‘bad dreams’ and made a silent note to himself to ask about it in the morning as he asked, “and why did you call me?” His face remained rather apathetic but Y/N seemed to notice the worry in his tone.

“Just wanted to talk to you.” Y/N says, eyes finally flickering over to her phone screen, “you make me feel safe Sho.”

Shouto’s mouth gaped open slightly at her words, he found himself at a loss as he stared. Though the entire career path that he was pursuing involved making others safe, Shouto felt his chest tighten at the fact that she felt safe around him, and they weren’t even in the same room. He cleared his throat, shifting in his seat as he spoke, “I see.”

Y/N laughed at his choice words, pulling her blanket up over her chin as she mumbled, “could you just stay on call for me?” Y/N rolled over, arms stretching above her head before one of them comes to rest over her eyes, “you don’t have to talk or anything just— just stay on the phone for a little bit. Please?”

“Of course.” The words leave him almost instantly, and a small smile graces Y/N’s face as she shuts her eyes. “I will always keep you safe, Y/N. So, rest.” The girl’s eyes open, and for the first time since she’d called him, Y/N looks awake as she opens her mouth to reply, only for Shouto to continue, “besides. Your dorm isn’t too far from here, if you were attacked, surely I would know. Also, any villain foolish enough to attack a school of future Pro Heroes and actual Pro—”

A laugh escapes her once more as she rolls back over to her side, now facing the phone, “always so literal, Shouto.” Silence follows her words for only a moment, “but... thank you. Really.”

Shouto doesn’t know how to respond, so he simply offers her a small smile accompanied by a nod of reassurance—an awkward nod, but a nod nonetheless. But the silence that followed didn’t feel all the awkward, if Shouto was honest it was a rather comfortable one that came between them, the sound of Shouto typing away at his now open computer while Y/N laid on her bed. He doesn’t know exactly how long the call went on, but it wasn’t long til Shouto realized that her questionable late night ramblings had ceased, his eyes returning to his phone screen once more to see her asleep. Chest rising and falling slowly with each breath, Shouto couldn’t help but be captivated by the sight of her.

He murmurs her name quietly, a test to see if she’s awake, and Y/N stirs with a small hum in response. “You should go to bed, Y/N.”

“You should too.” She grumbles, eyes still shut as she presses her head into the pillow. “I’m not the only one who needs sleep.”

“Then we both go to sleep, alright?”

She nods slowly, shifting slightly in the bed as her eyes opened slightly. “Goodnight Shouto—” Y/N yawned, and Shouto could see her finger move towards the phone, “love you, bye.”

Maybe it meant nothing to her. Just another passing moment, something completely accidental caused by a mix of sleep deprivation and stress. But those words had meant everything to him. Leaving Shouto to sit in his room, shock flooding as he stares at his phone, the end call screen flashing on phone.

Shouto finds himself typing.

Shouto <3 Goodnight Y/N. I love you, too. [2:01AM]

TAGS[lmk if you wanna be added or removed via asks or replies]

@shawkneecaps

@shigarakis-fifth-hand

@beifongsss

#todoroki x reader #shoto x reader #shouto x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #shouto todoroki x reader #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #bnha x you #todoroki x you #shoto x you #shouto x you #shouto todoroki x you

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izzielizzie · 3 years

Note

do you ever think about how SAD maeve's life must have been for seven plus years?

okay i have so many feelings about maeve fucking rojas and i will rant about it now because you asked

like in the us kids start going to school at age six? she was just starting to learn how to read and what numbers are she was learning how to share and how to make friends. and she was going to disney with her sister and they lost their teeth at the same time and her mother must adored her so much and she must have lived for that magical moment every day when her father walked through the door and got on the floor to give her a giant hug and it's all chaos because her mom wants a kiss but bronwyn wants to tell her dad about the new book from the library but maeve wants to show her dad the cut she got from climbing a new tree. and even though her mother kissed her better many times he pulls a chocolate bar out of the back of her ear and she's laughing and tugging open the wrapper while bronwyn tells her to hurry up because she wants candy too and her mom's annoyed that they're eating dessert before dinner but everyone's laughing so she doesn't really care. and then at night after she's all snuggled up in her bed her parents come in and read her a book and kiss her goodnight and she sneaks out of her bed to go sleep with bronwyn because she can and their parents find them there with their stuffed bears and when they wake up it happens all over again, every day better than the last because the whole world is new and bright and beautiful and

then it stops

and she's in so much pain and she's screaming but she doesn't know what it is because she seven for heaven's sake she's a baby and her mother won't stop crying now and she knows it's her fault but she's hurting too and she can't fix this. and bronwyn won't laugh anymore and her dad keeps saying that awful prayer - yo para ella - and she knows this is all her fault and if she could just go home everything would be better. and her mom stays with her but at some point she has to go to work too, and there are so many doctors she can't even remember their names and it's too much because she's seven and she doesn't know how to spell her name and she doesn't know what cells even are but they're growing too much and it's scaring everyone. and all the needles hurt and her grandparents are here now too but they keep looking like they're going to cry but it's tuesday which means that her favorite cartoon is on but the hospital tv doesn't have the right channel and she can cry but then some people will come with toys and books but they aren't the right people. and they aren't the right toys and there are no trees to climb and she couldn't even if she wanted to because it hurts too much

and she's still seven

and soon years pass. her mother stops crying. her father stops saying that prayer. but their eyes are hollow and sad and they don't smile that much any more. and bronwyn stops eating half of maeve's chocolate because it might be the last chocolate bar maeve eats. even if no one says it out loud. and soon bronwyn can't stand the sight of any type of candy because it reminds her too much of her sister. and then one day when maeve's a teenager - scrawny and hurting still - but older and wiser and broken, it all stops. and now everyone's happy and she's home but it's all wrong.

the couch is smaller than she remembers. the playroom is gone, replaced with an office. bronwyn's room is white now, not pink. she's too tall for the mirror in her room. the trees don't hold her weight. the basement has a media room and she knew about it but she can't bring herself to like it. but she wasn't there when they made the decision to finish the basement. her room is bare because no one has lived in it. she doesn't know how to fill it, so it ends up being a copy of bronwyn's. she only likes the window seat, since it's all her own.

and then she goes back to school for the first time since first grade and she vaguely recognizes some people, and she's so nervous and bronwyn leaves her for her friends the moment they walk through the door. and nothing makes sense and she's lost and instead of being helpful her classmates make the awful comments about her cancer. and she spends all of second period crying in the bathroom but she never tells bronwyn because this is hard enough on her sister no need to make it worse.

and eventually school makes sense. people are assholes but she has her sister and the handful of people who smile at her in the hall or pass her a note asking if she wants to hang out. but she's so damn tired. eventually she agrees to go to a party. the only party of her life because how often does she get to go to a party? but simon kelleher is there. and he's so desperate to be popular and liked that he has to take a moment from the life a girl who's only known terrible moments and put it on full blast.

and maeve's lost any progress she's made. and in the back of her mind, she's convinced herself that she won't live long enough anyway. so why does it matter? bronwyn will be hurt either way, so she sticks to bronwyn. and that works for a year. and hopefully for another three. but then simon happens. again.

now, it's bronwyn's turn to have the messed up life. and maeve is still hurting and broken and fucking exhausted but this is her sister. so she helps. she reads through so many 4chan sights glorifying something she's afraid of: painful death. but she keeps reading because this is for bronwyn.

and then it works. but now the whole world knows her as the sick sister who sent bronwyn spiraling. and it does nothing but prove to maeve that she's nothing but a nuisance.

she gets a boyfriend but it doesn't work out and somehow she convinces herself that she's just... unlovable. so when luis santos comes around she just won't accept the fact that she's worth the love she deserves.

so she dances around him as she solves a mystery that just hurts more and more people but she can't stop. until the most important person is hurt: nate. her brother.

and that's where it ends. we don't know anything else, and we won't for two years.

but we know enough don't we? enough to know that maeve has spent ten years hurting. and it doesn't take a year to fix it. it doesn't take luis santos and his smile. it doesn't take fierce phoebe lawton or kind knox myers. heck, her sister couldn't fix her.

maeve rojas is a girl who's known constant pain but never ever lets anyone else hurt. and maybe that's the saddest thing about her.

#sorry this is so sad #know that i'm crying too #maeve rojas #bronwyn rojas #simon kelleher #nate macauley #luis santos #phoebe lawton #knox myers #one of us is lying #one of us is next

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vanillann · 3 years

Text

5 star conversation (r.p)

one person for more parts so i had to do it!!

reggie peter x gender neutral!reader

word count: 3.2k

5 star conversation masterlist

“This place is so much better!”

Alex was spinning in the center of the hall, the 5-star hotel in Dallas was much better than the last motel we stayed at a few weeks back.

“I’ll be happy to use my own bathroom,” Julie swiped her key card, throwing her head back with it turned green and allowed her in the room.

“Goodnight,” she sang into the hall, not wasting time before shutting the door to pass out on the white fluffy soft bed, as the last performance was a long one with a meet and greet after.

Everyone was exhausted from crazy fans and loud music for the first time in a long time.

“I’ll see everyone in the lobby at 9,” Flynn waited in the hall for everyone to confirm.

“Why don’t you ever yell at Julie and (Y/N) about time?” Luke challenged her, hand on his hip as he looked at her with a pout.

“Because I don’t feel bad throwing them out of bed,” Flynn smiled, turning to her own door and not waiting for Luke’s response.

“Hey!”

“I love you (Y/N),” she yelled over her shoulder, smiling and waving to the boys as she most likely would be out cold too.

“That’s my cue, I’ll see everyone at 9:30 most likely.”

Alex pushed my shoulder lightly, walking past me to his door that was beside mine, the same layout he always did when he stayed at hotels.

We don’t talk about the motel.

“Goodnight (Y/N),” Reggie wrapped his arm around my shoulders, hugging me from behind while one of my hands squeezed his.

“Night,” I clocked out, still not recovered from the night spent under the sheets with the raven-haired boy. He let go, moving to his door across the hall and moving in as if nothing was different.

“Something happened two weeks ago.”

I jumped, I had completely forgotten Reggie and I wasn't the only person in the hall, Luke and Alex giving me little smirks as I stared at my door.

“Nope,” I swallowed, swiping my card and rushing into the room. I could hear Alex and Luke laughed but I didn’t care enough to give a witty remark.

My wits had walked into Reggie's room far away from my side, along with my sanity.

“Most definitely,” I mocked Reggie’s voice, throwing my bag on the queen-size bed, this time all to myself and no smiling Reggie walking me like something the gods had sent down.

“You most definitely ruined my standards.”

I probably sounded crazy talking to myself, pacing the room before I fell backward, staring off at the ceiling. I thought back to the little touches and the smirks that were shared between us in two weeks.

“I hate Luke Patterson.”

I didn’t hate Luke, he was like an older brother, but I did hate him. He pushed me off the diving board before I had my goggles on and now there was chlorine in my eyes.

I lost track of time, everything slowing down the longer I stared up at the ceiling, wishing it was the nasty brown popcorn ceiling from the motel so I knew Reggie was laying beside me.

Why did he have to be perfect?

A light knock on the door brought my attention back to this world, my mind wondering if it was worth it. I was probably Alex looking to talk for a few hours and tease me about Reggie.

I rolled my eyes, rolling off the bed and prancing to the door. Alex would listen if I needed to rant, and that I really needed right now. I didn’t even think, swing the door open to see a black leather jacket-clad back about to walk into the door across from me.

“Reg?”

He swiftly turned around, his cheeks flushed as he looked me over up and down.

“You have your shoes on?”

“Yeah I hadn’t changed yet,” I shrugged, crossing my arms and leaning against the door frame as I waited for his eyes to stop darting around the hall.

“Oh, good?”

I nodded slowly, watching as his shoe tapped against the floor of the hotel hallway. I was about to step back into my room when one of his arms reached out and grabbed my sleeve.

“Are you tired?”

“I mean I guess not? Reggie-”

He gave a small smile, pulling on my sleeve and using his other hand to push my hotel room closed behind me. His face so close to me, his breath running over my cheeks and I felt myself feel like I was on fire.

“I saw this diner on the corner and looked it up. It has one star and-”

“A one-star diner? That could kill us,” I laughed lightly, trying to pull my arm back but his eyes were begging me to hear him out.

“Well I’m already dead and-” his smile was large as his eyes searched mine, both of us probably looking crazy as he stood in the center of the hall.

“I don’t have a jacket Reg,” I did my best to stop myself from going, I didn’t need more of a reason to fall for the perfect bass player. I didn’t have it in me to be heartbroken by him.

“Wear mine,” he let go of my sleeve but I didn’t move as he shrugged his jacket off his shoulder and placed them over my shoulder with a goofy little smile plaster across his lips. The leather was warm, but I suppose that could have been how nervous I was in the current moment.

“I guess we’re getting a late-night snack,” I spoke as happy as I could, screaming at my heart to stop hitting my rib cage.

“Yes!” He made a fist, doing a small happy dance as he skipped down the elegant hall of the fourth floor of the hotel. I smiled, trying to look on the bright side of falling for the sweet boy.

I quickly jogged to reach his side, his little skip in his step was making me feel things I didn’t understand. Maybe that was the scariest thing, not understanding the feelings. I knew my feelings for Reggie, of course, but why did I have to feel like this about Reggie? Why could I have fallen for anyone else in this world? Falling for Reggie meant never falling out, cause you just can’t not adore him. He remembered the little things, like my favorite type of diner or my favorite photo with my friends. He said things that made your heart shore, even if not a soul but you would understand. The number of times he had said “most definitely” with that little smirk to me was making my brain break at this point because everyone saw the little smiles but nobody knew why, and something about that made it more fun.

“You coming?”

I didn’t realize I had stopped walking in the middle of the lobby, I didn’t even remember the elevator ride down. I nodded my head, smiling as he held the door from the hotel for me, his bright smile lit up the dark streets of the city.

The traffic was light and I could see the lights on in the small diner, obviously not busy by the looks of the small parking lot and I was shocked you’d find such a sad diner so close to the fancy hotel we were staying at.

I was walking the closest to the road, Reggie on the other side of me as he spotted the crosswalk. Suddenly I felt him slip behind, his hands on my shoulder for a second and gone the next. He now stood closer to the road, obviously looking ahead and not at me.

“What was that about?”

“I didn’t want something to happen and you fell into traffic, this way it’s me and not you.”

Oh, I hated him so much right now, stop making me love you!

He couldn’t do this stuff and expect me not to fall head over heels, because he looked like that and he spoke like that, and he was perfect. We found the crosswalk, both looking both ways before skipping across it into the small diner parking lot with smiles across both our faces.

Reggie held open the door for me, the small rusty diner was definitely one star by how messy and weird the place felt. The booths had holes in them, the tables had inappropriate drawings in sharpie and the only other person in the place was an older man who was doing something illegal by the way he looked Reggie and me up and down, and a few workers.

“Reg-”

“Trust me, okay?” He pulled at my arm, smiling as he found a booth in the corner of the small diner, and giggled when I pouted at it.

“You can have the corner seat, I know they’re your favorite.”

Why do boys like Reggie have to look and be amazing? It was so hard not to confess everything, but I thought better than to do it in a small one-star diner.

“Can I start y’all with a drink?” The strong southern accent wasn’t uncommon for the state of Texas, I had heard plenty in the crowd during the show.

“A water,” Reggie spoke but I stopped the lady before she wrote it.

“A coke is fine,” the lady nodded, writing coke instead of water, and went back to the back of the diner.

“That was rude,” Reggie pouted as he took the seat across from me, his arms crossed over his chest as his eyes scanned me.

“Never order water from these places, always something bottled that can’t be contaminated,” I pointed to the sink, which was turned on filling a small pan with almost brownish water. Reggie cringed, nodding his head and looking at me.

“You don’t need to die from water too,” I smirked across the table, laughing when Reggie swatted his hand at me jokily.

“You can’t let me live my own death down,” he smiled as he shook his head, smiling when the lady bought out two bottled cokes and a single menu.

“We are cleaning our menus, hope you don’t mind sharing.”

She left us with that, the cokes at the end of the table and a menu in the center. Reggie didn’t move it, opening it and leaning his elbows on the table to read it. His flannel clade arms were nice, something I had grown safe with as he seemed to bring his brand off them.

“How about a burger?”

I zoned back in, smiling when Reggie pointed to a cheap burger at the bottom of the menu with questioning eyes.

“I was thinking more of a hotdog,” I smirked, laughing when he flopped back into his seat before sliding out.

“I’m leaving,” he spoke, my hand reaching out without thinking and grabbing his wrist. I didn’t think much, looking up at him with pleading. His once angry, or what I thought was angry, formed into one of pure bliss. He was sitting on the edge of the seat, our eyes telling our story for us.

“You can’t leave me here,” I broke the tension, smiling when he slid back into the booth across from me and leaned closer to me from his seat.

“Why’s that?”

I thought over my options, did I tell him? Do I tell him I wanna spend the rest of this tour having a sleepover in a motel with him? Do I tell him I’d drink brown water for him?

“What if this diner’s food kills me?” I came up with the idea on the spot, hoping he wouldn’t question me too much on the topic. It wasn’t a lie, it could kill me, the water was brown after all.

“Then you’ll come back to me,” he shrugged as if it was obvious. My heart was definitely fighting my ribs now, trying to jump out and confess everything in this small diner.

“Y’all ready?”

The lady from the earlier harsh voice brought me from my daze, my breath barely coming back and Reggie hurried to find something on the menu for us.

“Some fries and two slices of key lime pie,” he spoke, sliding the menu across the table and winking at the waitress. I felt my heart drop slightly, the woman rolling her eyes but the smallest bit of a smile on her lips.

“Fries and pie?”

“They can solve all the world problems,” Reggie shrugged, his attention back to me as soon as I spoke. My heart fluttered more once I recognized the soft Train song, Marry Me playing through the small diner.

“We don’t have a problem though.”

“We do, we haven’t spoken as much since the motel,” Reggie raised an eyebrow at me like he knew he had caught me red-handed. He was chewing on his bottom lip, waiting for me to say something.

I stopped talking to you because I’m convinced you’re the love of my life.

“Flynn’s had me busy with social media stuff,” which wasn’t a lie. I had officially been handed all social media as Flynn couldn’t do it all anymore, and since I already did the merch it would make sense for me to be in charge of the social media.

“I’m still mad you posted that photo of me,” Reggie pouted, the photo in question was when Alex and Luke drew all over his face in a sharpie while he was sleeping on the floor of the tour bus.

“The fans loved it, it’s been added to many edits,” I smirked, shrugging my shoulder while I looked up at the ceiling of the diner.

“I bet you loved it too,” Reggie leaned back on the table, his face seemed to get closer every time he did. I could smell the cologne running off him, almost making my head spin until I remember I’d been smelling it all-night because of the jacket.

“It’s my lock screen for a reason.”

“Really?” I didn’t say anything, pulling out my phone and proving it. Reggie smiled, asking me to open it to show my home screen. I did just that, putting my fingerprint on the phone to reveal the photo of Alex using my head like a drum set, Julie in the back caught completely off-guard.

“Here,” the fries and the two-piece of pie were placed on the table, the two forks and a bottle of ketchup beside them. I closed my phone, reaching over to pop a fry in my mouth.

“Well aren’t you just the cutest,” Reggie commented, taking his own fire and nibbling on it, looking at me while he did so. I ignored him, looking at my phone that was now ringing beside me. A photo of Luke and I doing finger-guns at the camera flashed across my screen, my eye-rolling into the back of my head as I picked it up.

“Yes?”

“Did you finally run away from us?” I could hear the pout in Luke’s voice as he spoke.

“Yep, I’m halfway to Ohio by now,” I rolled my eyes, reaching for one of the forks but Reggie moved it from my reach.

“You suck,” he spoke, my attention elsewhere as I still wanted a piece of my pie.

“Tell Reggie he sucks too.”

I swallowed roughly, trying my best to keep my voice normal as we spoke.

“What?”

“Neither of you are at the hotel, we thought you two e-roped,” I heard Julie in the back yell “it’s eloped” but I ignored it as I finally got my fork out of Reggie’s hand.

“We’re at the diner on the corner,” I watched Reggie pout once I revealed the location we sat at, waving him off as I took a piece of the pie and shoved it in my mouth.

“That place looks creepy.”

“It is,” I finally rested the phone between my shoulder and head, reaching for another piece when Reggie started moving the pie around the table.

“Weirdos,” I heard him speak, the smirk was screaming through the phone.

“Do you need something?”

“Yes, you both confess-” I rolled my eyes, moving my phone from where it sat, and hung up on Luke. Reggie laughed, watching me place the phone on the table and reach for the pie again. I heard it ring but simply hit the little red button.

“I want my pie Reg,” I pointed my fork in his face, but instead of being a normal person and giving me the pie, he bit down on my fork. I was so shocked at his actions I didn’t even realize he pulled the fork from my hand.

“Did you-”

“Yep, you gave us away so no pie,” he took my fork, letting it sink into the green fluffy pie with a little smirk on his face.

“I totally can’t stand you.”

“Then sit on me-” as soon as Reggie spoke he panicked, trying to take his words back but I was almost on the floor laughing. His cheeks were flushed red, his eyes wide as he looked over my face. He was perfect in the harsh light of the diner, trying his best to fix the words that fell from his lips.

“A way with words I see,” I managed to get out the words in-between giggles. His own laughs were slowly slipping past his apologies, his smile back to normal.

“Always, how do you think I wrote Home is Where my Horse is,” he bit back, him finally letting me take a bit of the whipped cream off the top. For a one-star diner, the place wasn’t horrible, if I didn’t get food poisoning that is.

“Lots of inspiration,” I smiled back, popping another fire in my mouth and laughing when he shrugged.

“Can’t say that I never had a horse.”

“Did you want one?”

“Ever since I was a young Reginald,” he spoke, a fake posh accent with his words. I smiled to myself, a joking plan already forming in my head.

I heard the door of the diner open, the familiar sound of Alex's panicked voice was nice yet frustrating. Luke winked at me, jumping as he slid into the seat beside Reggie, Flynn running to sit beside me.

“I thought you left me,” she latched onto my arm, cozying close to me with a little smile. I laughed at her antics, leaving a small kiss on her head as Julie took the seat beside Luke and Alex took the open one next to Flynn.

“You both ate the food?”

Reggie shrugged, typing something slowly into my phone he had grabbed off the table. Luke tried to speak but Reggie moved and covered the phone from his eyes.

When he finished he locked it, sliding air across the phone and pointing at it. I smiled, putting my fingerprint in my phone, which opened to the notes app.

We got busted, next time don’t tell Luke ;)

I smiled, the zoo unleashed as I read over the words. Maybe we’d been in a one-star motel and diner, but I never felt like the five-star giggles filled the room.

He said next time.

Crap, he said next time.

permanent tag list:

@kittykylax @itstaylorcale @head-over-heart @marvel-rhapsody @accioxtina

julie and the phantoms taglist:

@willex-owns-my-heart @sunsetcurvej @g7aesthetic @who-even-is-galileo

reggie peters taglist:

@miisacore

#reggie julie and the phantoms #reggie x y/n #reggie tag #reggie peters x reader #japt reggie #reggie x reader #reggie peters #julie and the phantoms x reader #jatp x reader

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peaceoutofthepieces · 3 years

Text

Tracing Time

This discusses the hate crime in s3 (and the homophobia plotline in sos).

Thursday, 02:26

Song: IAMX - Insomnia; Crywolf ft. EDEN - Stomach It

He’s going to break that clock.

It’s usually not something that bothers him. Sometimes he even finds it soothing, counts the ticks to help him sleep. Now it’s too loud, occupies too much space, and taunts him with how late it is and how much he’s going to regret this tomorrow. Even though it’s out of his control.

He stuffs his face further into his pillow and makes himself take a deep breath. When that doesn’t work, he takes another. Then one more. And another.

He gets up, climbs so that he’s standing on top of his bed, and takes the clock off the wall. He pulls out the batteries from the back, careful not to let them drop and roll away, and there. Peaceful, beautiful, blissful silence. This time his deep breath works, sending a wave of relaxation all the way through him before he climbs down again.

When he crawls back into bed, he’s got his phone in one hand and his key to Robbe’s in the other.

He doesn’t really do anything with either, just sets his phone next to him and lets his hand rest on it and rubs his thumb over the key in the habit he’s picked up. It’s most soothing, even as he feels apprehension and doubt swirl in his chest. Robbe had gone to sleep before Sander even went to bed, messaging him while Sander was still working on his assignment, trying to finish off just that one paragraph. He’d told himself that was enough to be satisfied with, that it would be more beneficial to sleep when he still has two days to work on it. He’d had to take his pills, anyway, and he’d hoped they’d pretty much knock him out, but he hardly even feels as sleepy as he usually does.

Now he just feels like he’s wasting his time. He’s not working or sleeping, and his brain has nowhere to go so it spins in circles.

He's thinking about his assignment, still. Worrying. He’s pretty sure he’ll get it done, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be a load of crap. He’s also thinking about Agathe, telling him he’s doing well. He’s thinking about the woman with the death stare from the cafe. He’s thinking about that talk with Jens, and moving on and doing better.

He rubs over the key too quickly and lets out a hiss as he scratches his thumb. Instead of putting it down, however, he holds it tight in his hand and picks up his phone.

He navigates to Robbe’s contact, first. He looks at their messages from earlier, the usual banter, the sweet goodnight, and he settles a little, allows it to warm him. He could text Robbe, but chances are that the boy is definitely asleep and Sander will wake him up. Robbe’s insomnia had returned with a weak sort of vengeance after the holidays as he stressed about his final ever semester, but he seems to have gotten it under control now. Sander will not disturb him.

He could go through and look at videos or photos or listen to voice notes, bring the remnants of Robbe close enough to feel his comfort. Or it might just strengthen the twinge in his heart.

He finds himself opening Instagram instead, maybe to bore him to sleep, and finds Lucas’s story waiting for him. He’s only shared a song, nothing unusual, but it was also only posted two minutes ago.

Sander’s calling him without even taking time to think about it, but Lucas picks up on the first ring.

“Hi,” he says, voice low and sleepy but curious, the concern thinly veiled. “Can’t sleep either?”

“No,” Sander whispers. “Hi.”

Lucas is silent for a moment, probably waiting for Sander to speak. Eventually, he gives up. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Sander pauses. “No? I don’t know.”

“Okay,” Lucas says. “I’ll wait.”

Well.

It’s not Robbe, but it’s the next best thing, maybe. It’s the perfect thing to say, to do. Because Lucas won’t push, but he won’t leave. He’ll breathe in Sander’s ear and wait. Sander takes the time, because he knows, is sure, that it really is allowed, and without the incessant ticking it doesn’t feel as long, anyway. Even when he’s silent for what must be a few minutes, Lucas stays silent, too. Keeps waiting.

“Are you scared of Jens’s house?” Sander finally asks.

The silence on the other end becomes total, and Sander checks to make sure Lucas hasn’t hung up. But no; it’s just his breaths that have stopped. Sander worries for a brief moment before a sigh emits. “I know you spoke to him.”

Sander takes it for the non-answer it is and points it out as one. “That wasn’t my question.”

“I know.” Their breaths pass to each other silently again. Then Lucas just says, “Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yeah, I’m afraid. Even now. It doesn’t matter that I know it’s stupid. It doesn’t matter when he’s not there.” He takes a louder breath. “I think I’m just always a little afraid, anyway, though.”

Sander absorbs this. After a while, he just says, softly, “Yeah.”

It’s not that he hadn’t been, even before. Merely meeting Robbe was scary for a multitude of reasons, and kissing him for the first time had his heart pounding, but it was worth it, so worth it. Then he’d had Robbe turn him down, had seen Robbe so hurt and upset by what he’d done, and he’d felt the fear and the horror and the disgust at himself before he realised it was all the same things that had made Robbe so harsh in the first place. It hadn’t mattered, when Robbe came back to him, because Sander had him then and that was all he wanted and he had always understood. Even if he had never struggled with himself quite the way Robbe had, it was still part of his understanding. He’d never really needed Robbe to explain himself to him.

Then Sander had taken Robbe on what he thought would be a perfect first date, and his understanding grew to a whole new level.

And with it comes the fear.

Even though he knows, he knows, that Robbe has only been strengthened, has only grown braver, because of their relationship. Even though he never wishes or feels the need to hide Robbe, never, no matter where and when they might be. It’s still there.

It’s a valid fear, and that understanding fills Sander with such a burning fury that of course he has to fight back against it.

He’s already spent too much of his life fearing too much about himself. He will not fear this, not when it is what allows him his biggest source of happiness.

“Is this about the bar?” Lucas asks quietly. “I know you talked to Jens.”

Sander huffs.

“I’m sorry, if you didn’t want him to pass anything on to me, but he needed to tell me you were the one knocking sense into him. I’ve been meaning to say thanks.”

“I didn’t do anything,” he mumbles.

Lucas hums. “You did. You understood.”

“So I was right?”

“Of course you were,” Lucas laughs, derisively. “You knew you were. I mean, you’re also shockingly wrong, but that’s a whole different point.”

Sander frowns, furrowing his brows, even though Lucas can’t see him. “What does that mean?”

There’s silence for a moment, and then Lucas sighs. “You know it’s not the same. With you guys...it’s not just about Robbe.” He pauses for a moment. “It’s not your fault.”

“It’s not yours either,” Sander says forcefully.

“That’s not what I meant. I know it’s not. I know enough about the guy to know he’s just a dick, and no matter what I did, that wouldn’t be any different. I don’t think you do.”

Sander has a denial ready, but it dies in his throat. He doesn’t have the energy to protest and argue, not with his medication finally feeling like it’s kicking in, and not when Lucas will just see right through him. “I know,” is all he manages to say, hoarsely.

“Do you?”

“I do. But don’t you also think...I don’t know. Maybe if I was thinking more clearly, I would have gotten us out of there sooner, or I could have fought them off—“

“But Robbe couldn’t?”

Sander swallows. This is precisely why he didn’t want to argue, because he knew Lucas would go for all his sense and logic and pick Sander’s points apart at the seams. Sander doesn’t have any retorts prepared.

“Sander, I get how you feel, but you know he wants to protect you too, right?” Lucas asks softly. He gets even quieter as he continues. “You know you were hurt, too.”

“This woman gave me a weird look today, when I was at the cafe with Robbe,” Sander tells him. “And I was just so relieved she didn’t actually say anything and he didn’t see.”

Lucas lets out another breath, and there’s a rustling of sheets. “I wouldn’t tell him, either.”

Sander lowers his voice to a whisper. “Why doesn’t it matter how long it’s been? Robbe and I go back to the bar all the time now, and it’s fine, it doesn’t bother us.”

“But you don’t have to be there to think about it, so it bothers you anyway, at the most random times.”

Sander closes his eyes.

“It’s okay, Sander,” Lucas murmurs.

“I told Robbe not to go to the police. That they’d never catch the guys, that shit just happens. Like it was nothing, like we just have to get over it.”

“I’m sure he knows that isn’t what you meant.”

“No, but he doesn’t know what I did mean. He doesn’t know that I didn’t want my dad to be taking our statement and know about another way that I fucked up. I didn’t want to have made another mistake, I didn’t want it to be my fault for finding trouble, I—“

“Sander, stop,” Lucas says sternly. “I can hear your voice cracking. You need to breathe, okay? Take a minute. It’s fine.”

Sander struggles to obey, abandoning his rant to take another deep breath, like he’d always been taught. Lucas doesn’t say anything, but his own breaths seem to get louder. The steady rhythm filters into Sander’s ears and eases its way towards his lungs. He closes his eyes, but his mind is still conjuring too many unpleasant images, so he opens them again and looks for something to focus on in the dim, moonlit room. He settles on the photographs framed on his nightstand. One from when he was a child, both his parents next to him, and the other much more recent. That first afternoon he’d spent in Robbe’s room, the two of them locked away in their bubble, talking about universes and films and thoughts. Well over a year ago, now, and he still remembers it so clearly. Robbe’s arms draped around his shoulders, kissing the top of Sander’s head while Sander pulls a stupid face. Robbe so caring, so indulgent, even then.

“That’s better,” Lucas speaks up again.

Sander lets out a shaky sigh. “Sorry.”

“You never talk to anyone about how much it affected you, do you? Aside from the first time you told me about it, you don’t let yourself be upset.”

“It’s Robbe,” Sander says, somewhat hopelessly, unsure that he’s making any sense at this point. “How could I not love him? What’s so bad about it?”

“Nothing,” Lucas says, sure and steady. “Nothing at all, Sander.”

A tear Sander hadn’t even noticed was building slips down his cheek, and he lets it, waits until it seeps into the pillow before wiping the dampness from his skin. They both stay quiet, but the simple presence of his friend is enough to be calming. He’s somewhat glad he hadn’t called Robbe, though he longs for nothing more than to go to him, and the key still tucked in his fist is enough permission. But he doesn’t want to talk to Robbe about this, not anymore, not again. Not when it could do harm rather than good, could bring sadness without any relief.

It’s a relief, to tell Lucas, who understands but won’t be hurt by it in the same way. Who knows Sander almost as well and has been in a similar position and who won’t cry just because he does.

“You never told your parents about it, did you?” Lucas asks. It’s not judgmental, but it’s clear he knows the answer already.

“Would you have, if you didn’t have to for Jens?”

He hears Lucas’s soft huff. “Probably not. But that doesn’t mean I’m not glad that they know.”

“It’s not the same, though. You didn’t lie to them about why you came home beat up. You didn’t have to.”

“No. I was lucky, I know that. But that could just mean I’m a lot more to blame for what happened to us than you are for such a random, hateful attack. I lied to my dad, too. He didn’t know Jens and I were together, and if I hadn’t been at his house, his dad would never have found out. Or at least, it might not have been as shockingly bad.”

“No,” Sander argues, again, but it’s difficult with Lucas using his own logic against him.

Lucas sighs; Sander can picture him shaking his head. “Maybe if I’d told dad earlier, Jens wouldn’t have had to run off, and I wouldn’t have felt so shitty. But I know even if I’d never brought it up, it would still feel like a relief to tell him today.”

Sander purses his lips, and doesn’t say anything.

“You can be upset, or angry, or hurt, or whatever you want. And you can talk about it. That’s how you move on, Sander.”

“Robbe and I have already talked about it so many times,” Sander sighs. Then he admits, “But never like this.”

Lucas hums. “He’ll understand, better than me. And he can handle it just as well. You know that. But thank you, for telling me. You always can.”

“I know,” Sander mumbles. Somewhere in the past couple of minutes, his eyelids have started drooping. “Thank you.”

“Did it help? At all?”

Sander presses into his pillow and lets out a breath. “Yeah. I actually think it did.” It hasn’t really changed anything, he knows, and it’ll come up again eventually no matter how much he tells himself it’s in the past and he’s moved on. The weight of the memory isn’t gone, but it feels lighter, somehow. Like admitting it’s not okay is starting to make it so.

“Good.” He can hear the smile in Lucas’s voice. “Are you falling asleep now?”

Sander can’t do much more than hum.

Lucas laughs quietly. “Okay. Get some rest, dumbass.”

“Are you okay?” Sander thinks to ask. “You were up, that’s why I called.”

“I’m going to sleep now, too,” Lucas promises. “I think you helped me as well.”

“Okay,” Sander sighs. “Night, Luc.”

“Bye, Sander.”

Sander waits a moment even after he hears the call run out, then lets his hand slip away from his ear slowly. He sets the phone aside, stretching his arm out to the nightstand, but keeps a hold of the key. He brings it closer to his chest and sucks a breath in, then lets it out, and finally relaxes. He doesn’t have to go to Robbe, he convinces himself. But he can—he really can, any time he wants to, and that’s more than enough.

He’s asleep in seconds.

~^~

previous/next

#wtfock #sobbe #sander driesen #lucas van der heijden #sander season #tracing time #idk if i like this clip so it’s being posted in the middle of the night 🤪

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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years

Text

Aftershock ~ PJM [Request]

↬↬↬Word Count: 3.1K

↬↬↬Genre: ANGST!

↬↬↬Pairing: Jimin x Fem!Reader

↬↬↬TRIGGER WARNINGS: Mentions death, Earthquakes, cheating, no happy endings in this one guys, yall really trying to kill me off with the angst here.

It was no secret that Jimin was growing distant from you but you were putting it down to the pressures of his job that was drawing him away from you but lately it had gotten worse.

"What if me and Yerin flew out with you? We could have a family trip in London?" You'd tried suggesting multiple options to Jimin but he shot you down all week telling you about how busy he would be in London, that it wouldn't be any fun for both of you to just sit in a hotel room while he worked all day.

"I can't, it won't be fun for either of you." You sighed looking at the back of his head while he packed up his suitcase for the weekend ahead of him.

"It's just three nights, I'll be back before you know it." He turned around and for a split second you thought he was going to embrace you but he turned to walk out of the room going towards your 10-year-old daughter's bedroom to say goodbye. He kissed the top of her head while she slept, pulling the covers over her body wishing her goodnight before he came back out of the room and came face to face with you.

"But I'm going to miss you," You whispered pulling his tie so he would move closer to you, it had been so long since you'd been this close you'd almost forgotten what it felt like to be next to him.

"My plane- I can't do this Y/n," He stared at you as he placed his hands on your arms the usual heart skipping he got whenever he was close to you had faded, the fact that he could look into your eyes and no longer stutter confirmed everything he'd been feeling over the last couple of months. He was falling out of love with you and into love with somebody else,

"When you come back I'll make sure we have some time together as a family, Yerin missed you." You lied to him, Yerin had been growing distant from her father telling you that there was something off she couldn't put her finger on.

"Sounds like a good idea, I'll have Areum find some places for us." He lied again but you couldn't tell when he was lying to you anymore, it used to be so easy to detect but now it had become so normal for him to lie to you there were no telltale signs anymore.

"That sounds good, are Areum and Jungkook going with you this weekend?" You knew Areum and Jungkook really well since they were Jimin's personal assistants at work but Jimin froze as her name fell from your lips, you even smiled as you said her name.

"Areum is but Jungkook isn't, he has some work to be doing in the office. I thought I mentioned that-"

"You did! I'm sorry, I just forgot." The thought of Areum and Jimin being alone in London didn't scare you, your husband loved you so you and you trusted him so you saw no reason to worry about it. Plus Areum was young enough to be Jimin's niece or if you'd had Yerin a few years sooner old enough to be his daughter. She was only 25 while Jimin was 35.

"Oh will you tell her I got us some face masks for the next time she comes over, I remember her mentioning that she loved them before." Jimin hated the fact that you and Areum had bonded it meant what he was doing with her behind your back would hurt all the more if you were to ever find out...Which he wasn't planning on happening until he'd figured out his headspace. He'd felt himself falling out of love with you, after 18 years of being together it was bound to happen eventually.

"I'll tell her when I see her at the airport darling, I have to go." He leant closer to you leaving a small kiss on your lips as he went back into the bedroom. For you the butterflies never stopped, every time he looked at you it was like the first time all over again. Your heart would skip a beat whenever he said your name or came close to you, it was always going to be that way for you.

Areum was waiting in the black SUV outside his house, the driver - Jung Hoseok - was growing more and more impatient with how long Jimin was taken but kept his mouth shut since he liked his job. Jimin was one of the fastest-growing CEO's in the business and everyone wanted to work for him even if it was just a driver or just a cleaner.

"Mr Park, lovely to see you this evening." He greeted as Jimin got into the back of the SUV and sat down beside Areum, as soon as the door shut and you could no longer see Jimin he slipped off his wedding band and placed it into the cup holder of the car - it would be there when he came back from London but he didn't need that holding him back.

"I was thinking we could start our weekend at the natural history museum, they have this exhibit on at the moment that you're going to love." Jimin groaned at Areum tilting her head up to look into her eyes before he laid a gentle kiss on her lips, the butterflies flew into his stomach instantly giving him the feeling he'd missed with you. Hoseok put his head down so he wouldn't have to watch the display happening in the back of his own car. He'd known Jimin for the last 11 years and to see him throw away his marriage with you like that wasn't a nice feeling for him, especially since he'd been close with you as well.

"A little traffic sir, will that be a problem?" Jimin looked away from Areum and to Hoseok who was glancing at him in the mirror,

"No Hoseok that's fine, I'll just close this. We have some business to attend to." Hoseok clicked the button that shut the glass window that saw into the back of the SUV he knew what ''business'' meant it was always the same with all of the CEO's. They'd cheat on their wives without the poor women knowing about it all.

As Saturday rolled around you began to miss Jimin more and more, he'd only been gone one day but it was one day too many to you.

"Jungkook, I've been trying to get hold of you all night," You breathed down the phone as Yerin was at dance practice while you sat outside trying to get Jungkook on the phone.

"I've been swamped in paperwork, Areum is with Jimin so I'm alone at the office. What can I do for your Mrs Park?" You smiled at the fact that he still continued to call you that despite your constant pleas for him to just call you by your first name.

"I want to fly out and surprise my husband so I was hoping you could tell me what hotel to go to and which flight to catch," You'd never been good at this sort of thing which was why Jimin normally had his assistants do everything for the both of you.

"I can organise all of that Mrs Park, but that'll be nice for you both. A weekend away in London," He began clicking through his laptop to find the details on where Areum and Jimin were staying that weekend.

"I hope Jimin sees it that was Jungkook, he'd been so busy lately I barely see him." You laughed softly trying not to rant to the boy who worked for your boss.

"Looks like there's a flight tonight and he's staying in the Clinton hotel so I'll have everything booked for you under your name Mrs Park." He smiled ordered everything right away before looking around his desk, scattered in bits of paper.

"If you're going maybe send Areum back, I need help I'm drowning in paper." He chuckled to you,

"I'll have Hoseok pick you up to take you to the hospital, Mrs Park." You thanked him and hung up the phone waiting for your daughter's practice to be over so you could go home and pack.

"Mrs Park." Hoseok greeted as he opened the door to the black SUV that had been parked outside your house yesterday,

"Thanks, Hobi," You smiled helping Yerin into the back of the car first, it was late at night so she was probably going to sleep throughout the whole flight which was a good thing. You hadn't told her that you were going to see Jimin just that you were going on a girl's trip and wanted everything to be a surprise for her.

"How was your day?" He questioned walking around to the front of the car to start driving towards the airport,

"It was good, I spent most of it packing up though." You frowned looking into the cupholder and Hoseok caught what you were doing, he knew the ring was in there he'd just forgotten to move it.

"Mr Park took it off yesterday, he didn't want to lose it in London." He hated that he was lying for Jimin right to your face but he had no other option, his life depended on keeping his job,

"Oh. Right, that makes sense." You whispered trying not to overthink the small detail but all the other times Jimin's had been away with you he'd worn his ring.

"How was your day Hoseok?" You asked trying to do something to distract yourself from the gut feeling that something was wrong, he was about to answer when he groaned hitting deadlock traffic.

"Looks like we're going to be a little late." Yerin looked up from her tablet to see what was wrong,

"Deadlock, get some rest sweetie I'll wake you up when we get there." You promised her as she started yawning, the tablet was slipped into her bag and she laid her head down on your shoulder to get some rest.

"WATCH IT!" A workman screamed at his friend as he travelled through the airport carrying a glass window panel with another workman, you pulled Yerin closer to you. The feeling that something was wrong hadn't left you since you left the car and nothing felt safe to you right now,

"Walk in front of me, don't wander off." You made her promise you that she wouldn't go anywhere and she nodded at you watching as you held onto her arm tightly trying to make your way towards the terminal you needed.

"We're going to London? With dad?" Yerin questioned as she got a look at the tickets as the flight attendant took the tickets from you. You wasted no time in waiting for her to fight you on this and you walked through the terminal with her, holding onto her hand.

"It'll be nice for us all to just get out for a while." You whispered but that was when you heard screaming, the ground started to move and the sounds around you sounded like thunder.

"Yerin get between a doorway now!" You screamed at her pushing her towards the plane as you saw an elderly woman struggling to stay upright.

"Here." You called out walking with her towards the airport instead of the plane, it was closer for her.

"Shit!" You screamed as she finally made it into the airport but the door slammed shut on you, locking due to the emergency systems in place,

"MUM!" Yerin screamed out watching as you tried to make your way over to her but the ground began to shake rapidly, screams filled the air as rubble began to fall around you, the terminal wasn't structurally sound enough hide inside of and there were no tables for you to hide underneath.

"Yerin! Go and get under something!" You yelled at her, as you went to rush towards the plane to join her it came away from the door as the ground shook some more. The small shakes began to turn violent and the glass windows inside of the terminal smashed, you made your way over to the poles to try and keep yourself from falling but the whole place wobbled.

It stopped, the shaking stopped and everything seemed to calm back down you looked around at the destruction that had been left behind, shards of glass everywhere along with pieces of the building that had begun to cave in on itself,

"Yerin?" You coughed as you inhaled rubble coming from the ceiling,

"Miss, please stay there, there could be-" Before the flight attendant could even say the words aftershock the ground rumble once again and the terminal shook falling towards the floor below you, you screamed out loudly as people watched in horror. Yerin was clutched by a flight attendant so she wouldn't have to watch what had happened.

Areum laughed as Jimin told her that he loved her, laughed. They'd been out to dinner the night before when he finally told her that he was planning on leaving you for her.

"Jimin, I don't do love." The words rung through his ears as she continued to laugh hysterically at him, he'd remembered her telling him that she'd only been sleeping with him to get to a higher place in the company. She'd done the same with all of her other jobs and nothing about the weekend they were spending together meant anything to him, she'd do this with multiple men if she could.

"We will be arriving in Seoul Private Airstrip soon, please fasten your seatbelts as we prepare to land." Jimin frowned coming out of his daydream to hear about the private airstrip, he took the attention of a flight attendant,

"Why are we landing in a private area?" She frowned at him turning on the news on the small TV in front of him, images of an earthquake at the main airport in Seoul filled the screen. Names were running along the bottom of those that had lost their lives, he felt no fear though. You were home waiting for him and he was going to confess everything to you, how much of a mistake he'd made by sleeping with Areum. He was going to come clean about the affair instead of holding it away from you.

"Mrs Park?" You looked up through blurry eyes as a torch was shone into them,

"I'm cold," You whispered looking into the paramedic's eyes as he tried to talk to you,

"We're working on getting you a blanket, can you tell me where you are?" You hissed trying to sit up but you were forced back down into place but it wasn't by a pair of hands, something was pinning you to the floor.

"W-What's that?!" You whimpered out feeling pain spread throughout your body whenever you tried to move,

"One of the beams fell on you Mrs Park, I need you to look at me and focus on me okay?" You were too tired for this, you stared at him trying to focus on what he was saying but you didn't understand anything. He sounded far away from you and everything was too cold,

"Tired." Was all you managed to say to him as you looked around you, bodies were laid on the floor being covered by sheets and you frowned.

"Yerin! My daughter!" It gave you a little fight but you still couldn't move thanks to the beam pinning you to the ground,

"We're working on that Mrs Park but I need you to look at me while we help you," You shook your head begging him to go and find your daughter instead.

"P-Please." Your voice came out croaky as you spat blood out onto the spot beside your head, the paramedic swallowed the lump in his throat. Everyone knew what that meant when someone was throwing up blood in drastic ways like this,

"Mrs Park I'm going to give you something to make the pain go away, okay?!" You nodded your head laying it back against the floor as he pushed a needle into your arm, you hummed as you felt numb from it the second it worked it's way into your blood.

"M-Mr Park is in London, someone has to call him." You mumbled looking at the paramedic as you realised what was happening, the man was holding your hand and had his other hand on a cross around his neck.

"You have to tell him that his assistants know when all the dance practices for Yerin are." The paramedic opened his eyes and sighed at you,

"You should rest-"

"There's too much he needs to know," You cried out tears rolling down your cheeks, you weren't in pain you were just sad that Jimin was never going to hear you tell him you loved him one last time.

"I'm sure he'll know," The paramedic whispered that was when you started to gasp for air and he knew it was coming,

"Shh, it's okay." He whispered stroking hair out of your face as you whimpered, it didn't hurt like they made it sound like it did in the movies. It felt like falling into a deep sleep, almost calm as you looked up at the paramedic trying to comfort you.

Jimin got home to find police knocking on the door Hoseok was talking to them with his head hanging low,

"May I help you?"

"Mr Park." Hoseok panicked looking up from the floor as the police turned to Jimin,

"What's going on?" Jimin felt panic rush through his body as he realised that the police were slowly taking off their hats and holding them across their hearts,

"Mrs Park and Yerin-"

"No. No, they're at home!" He didn't even give the police or Hoseok time to stop him as he pushed through the front door screaming out your names for you to come and see him but you didn't come out.

"Hoseok! W-Why?! Why would she go!? I told her-" He dropped onto his knees as the policemen informed him that you and your daughter had both been involved in the main collapsing of the fifth terminal at the airport.

"We're sorry for your loss Mr Park." He said nothing as they walked out of the house leaving him alone with Hoseok,

"Sir-"

"Leave. I-I need to be alone." Hoseok nodded placing the three rings he had down onto the coffee table beside Jimin who weakly looked at him. Your wedding ring, engagement ring and his wedding ring were together making him feel even worse about everything he'd done to you that weekend and over the last months. He'd ruined his whole relationship over someone that didn't even care for him, he'd lost everything he'd ever loved in a matter of days because he'd been too foolish to see what was right in front of him was perfect.

Tagline:

@snowy-meowl @jooniesdarlingdimples @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @rjsmochii @fan-ati--c @callingmyangel @kneel-begyourpardon @taestannie @innersooya

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classic80sand90smovieloves2 · 4 years

Text

Meeting and Dating Nancy Downs

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

(I was so torn between what to do for the meeting hcs so if you want Nancy having a crush on the new girl hcs or whatever else, I’d be glad to provide)

- First things first, Nancy doesn’t like you. She doesn’t even have a valid reason as to why, she just doesn’t.

- It’s obvious that she has some sort of vendetta against you but you can’t for the life of you figure out what you ever could have done to make her hate you so much. After a while, you just stop taking it personally because; even though she seems particularly bothered by you, Nancy hates everyone.

- It isn’t until you have a rather nasty rumor spread around the school about you that she decides to change her tune.

- Deep down, Nancy is a softie and one that has a surprising amount of empathy hidden inside her. She just so happens to hear what people are saying about you while walking to class and against her own will, her mind drifts painfully back to the time when she was the one they were talking about.

- The two of you share a class at the end of the day which is where she’s able to stare at you, taking note of your deflated form and the subtle red rings around your eyes. It’s in that moment that Nancy stops hating you.

- Suddenly, She’s ready to burn the world down for you but she settles for doing something nice for once instead.

- She stalks after you at the end of the period, catching up with you outside of the school as you begin to walk home. For a moment you think she’s going to mock you like everyone else; it would’ve been the perfect chance for her to do so, but to your surprise, she invites you to go get a coffee with her.

- Even though you really don’t feel like hanging out with anyone, you agree and let her lead the way. The two of you talk for a while, awkwardly at first but soon enough you begin to warm up to her. You confess to her about all that’s happened and what’s going on, partly out of desperation and partly out of not being able to hold it in any longer. She gives you some advice; in typical Nancy fashion, and it for some reason actually makes you feel better.

- By the end of the day, you’ve lost all of your old friends yet gained a new, much more unusual one.

- Over time, the two of you grow closer and closer, hanging out more and more until you’re near inseparable. She introduces you to Rochelle and Bonny, and suddenly you have a whole new friend group with people you genuinely feel accept you. Your life is better than ever, and all it took was a little public humiliation!

- You’ll definitely have to be strange, alternative or weird in some regard for her to really fall for you. She just doesn’t really connect with people who aren’t and she certainly doesn’t fall in love with them.

- To be honest, Nancy was always a little attracted to you but she never had actual feelings for you, not until the two of you became friends. It’s then that she realizes how much she actually likes you and how perfectly the two of you fit together. After that, it isn’t long before she realizes she likes you a lot more than a normal friend should.

- Now, Nancy has no shame but this is the 90s and she likes having you in her life so she has to play her cards right. It’s gonna take a little while for her to actually confess but the two of you wind up acting like you’re dating; or at least she treats you like you’re her girlfriend, long before you actually begin to date.

- She confesses her feelings to you a few months into your friendship. It’s a bit late in the afternoon, the suns begun to set and you’re sitting with her in the little clearing that the girls do rituals in. You’re busy sleepily basking in the warmth of the sun while she’s busy watching the yellow glow of it light up your face.

“Hey y/n/n?” She calls out softly and you respond just as soft, your eyes still shut.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too Nancy.”

“No, no, I mean I love you.” She emphasizes the word and you roll over onto your stomach, looking over at her with a small smile.

“I know Nancy, …and I love you too.” Her face doesn’t change for a long moment but then a pleased smile spreads across it and she breaks your gaze to look out at the sunset like a weights been lifted off her shoulders.

- The two of you shared your first kiss the same day she confessed her feelings to you. She was sleeping over at your house, the two of you sharing your bed like normal, the blankets pulled over both of you as your heads rested against your pillows.

- You were both facing each other and talking a bit before going to bed when she slid closer to you and connected your lips. You stayed locked in a gentle kiss before you both pulled away, her lips moving to your forehead where she pecked your skin and whispered goodnight.

- You woke up the next morning with a smile on your face and a weirdo girlfriend snuggled against you.

- Pda? All the time. Her hands? On you. Her pride? Through the roof.

- People probably don’t realize you’re dating but suspect she’s a lesbian and gay for you. You’ve most likely been warned that she has “a weird thing” for you.

- You’re like the only person she lets touch her. Whoever else tries to is on the receiving end of a grimace, glare or verbal beat down; unless it’s Bonnie or Rochelle. Occasionally, you’ll sneak up on her and she’ll turn on you with the fiercest glare before quickly dropping it once she realizes who you are.

- Getting stolen gifts. You’re always a bit scared that she’ll get caught but you don’t have the heart to not accept them.

- Walking with her arm wrapped around your shoulder. She pushes your heads together cutely before merrily dragging you along with her.

- “I like a woman in uniform” ~ a direct quote from when she came to visit you at your lame fast food restaurant job.

- Nicknames are used all the time. Sweetheart, hun, darling, baby love, doll face; you name it, she’s called you it.

- Beach dates. The two of you have probably gone skinny dipping in the ocean together.

- Bonfires. You may or may not share scary stories with each other like you’re on a camping trip.

- You need to get a leather jacket. No, no wait; she’ll get you one herself.

- Constant compliments but not the kind of compliments you’re probably thinking of. She doesn’t say normal shit like “you look beautiful” or “I like your hair”, instead, she’ll say something like “well look at you.” or just “hot.”.

- She’s probably pierced your ears or given you a stick and poke at some point; that’s just the kind of person she is.

- She would absolutely love cutting or dying your hair with you. Sitting in your bathroom and fucking yourselves up? Amazing. Life changing. Revolutionary.

- Letting her rant to you. Whether she needs to tell you about her craft not working or her home life, you always lend her an open ear. She returns the favor whenever she can.

- She crashes at your place a lot; she never really wants to go home. The two of you are constantly having sleepovers with each other.

- Sneaking out to see each other.

- Late night drives.

- Surprisingly gentle kisses.

- Long makeout sessions.

- Sitting outside with her while she smokes.

- Coffee dates. She probably drinks exclusively strong black coffee and doesn't even wince at the taste, sipping it like it’s water. You’re slightly unnerved by the display.

- Sharing sips from a stolen bottle of wine.

- Painting each others nails and doing each others makeup.

- How you cuddle really just depends on the day. Sometimes you’ll be completely wrapped around each other, other times you’ll just be lying side by side and holding hands.

- Thrifting together. What’s better than cheap, second hand alternative fashion?

- She’ll call you a dork for doing something stereotypically girlfriendy and sweet but she’ll smile and accept whatever you’re doing while she says it.

- She says “gross” jokingly whenever you compliment or do something affectionate with her. She’ll wipe her cheek like you have cooties after you’ve kissed it.

- Stifling a laugh whenever she makes a smartass remark.

- Making faces at each other. She sticks her tongue out at you or smiles exaggeratedly big a lot.

- Hickeys, love bites, and red lipstick smears.

- She’s usually the more dominant one in your relationship but whew boy does she love sitting in your lap. She just plops herself right down on you whenever she feels like it without a single care in the world.

- Helping her relax when things aren't going her way. She has a tendency to keep quiet when somethings bothering her, letting her frustration build until she can hardly take it anymore.

- She’s always quick to stand up for you. She doesn’t let anyone belittle you and always interjects when she can see you’re trying to say something but no one’s listening to you.

- The amount of times she gets in trouble for trying to talk to you in class is impressive.

- Cutting class together. You’re almost sure that she’s determined to get you in trouble.

- She cannot stand being ignored so you’ll have to be fairly good at multitasking. If you’re hanging out and she has nothing to do then it won’t work out. She’ll artfully bother you until you give up and pay attention to her. Don't worry though, it doesn’t take much to satiate her.

- That being said, when you both have something to busy yourselves with, you can just exist in the same room together for hours, barely saying a word to each other. Sometimes she’ll just sit and think about something while you do whatever you have to and that keeps her occupied enough.

- She doesn't like when you act like whatever she did for you was amazing or something special. She gets mildly uncomfortable and tries to brush off your words of gratitude, telling you not to worry about it and that “it was nothing”.

- You know how like midway into the movie she had a candy necklace or at least something that looked like a candy necklace? You were most likely the one to give it to her which explains why it’s pretty much the only colorful thing in her wardrobe.

- Being a witch is objectively sort of Sapphic so being gay kinda just comes with the territory. The two of you most likely cast spells and do rituals together all the time.

- Nervously letting her perform rituals on you. Does she need to make a joke about sacrificing a virgin? No. Will she? Yes.

- She’s pleasantly bothered by your younger siblings and/or pets; if you have any. They definitely exasperate her since they usually interrupt and harass you two, but deep down she’s fond of them. She likes to tease them and pretend to not like them while they giggle and smile at her.

- One of the most jealous girls you’ll ever meet. She’ll either completely walk away from you and whoever is “flirting” with you or rudely interrupt whenever she pleases. Sometimes she’ll even “secretly” will something to happen to the person, causing them to leave you alone. She always gives you an “innocent” look once you turn to scold her.

- She’s definitely overprotective when it comes to you, almost ridiculously so. If something were to ever happen to you, she’d be out for blood and you’d undoubtedly have to wrestle her from exacting revenge in your honor.

- She’s fairly blunt and invasive yet tactful at the same time. She may ask you about an obviously sensitive topic but knows when to change the subject and shut up.

- You’ve either gotten into a lot of fights during your relationship or little to none; there is no in-between. If you’re stubborn and stand your ground then you’ll butt heads and fight a lot. If you’re more of a submissive person who tries to appease people rather than argue, then you’ll most likely never go beyond her snapping at you for a minute.

- She really doesn't know how to apologize so oftentimes you’ll just have to take her slightly shy “wanna go do x” after a fight as an apology. It’s easy to tell when you’re forgiven or when she feels guilty for her actions.

- You may not expect her to say “I love you” all that much but she surprisingly says it a lot. It may sound more joking than sincere some of the time but she’ll still say the words just about every day.

- There’s certainly a dark future ahead of her …but maybe you can change that?

#I love her so much #Nancy downs headcanon #the craft imagine #the craft headcanons #the craft headcanon #90s movie headcanon #90s movie headcanons #90s movie imagine #90s movie imagines #Nancy downs imagine #Nancy downs headcanons

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devotedwaywardangel1 · 4 years

Text

The Night Guard

Arthur Pendragon x Male!Reader

Fandom: BBC Merlin

Word count: 1747

Warnings: Near death experience, little bit angsty

A/N: Yeah been working on this one a while, doing every Merlin character x male reader since there are barely any so request/suggestions are welcome.

~~~

Arthur is walking down the hall, Merlin not far behind, ready to head in for the night. He sees you wait for him by the door making him smile. You smile at him and wait patiently for Arthur to be standing in front of you before he began talking. “Good evening sire.” You greet.

“For the last time (Y/n) you can call me Arthur.” Arthur shakes his head.

“Of course Arthur, there is a matter of which I would like to discuss.”

“Come on in then.” Arthur says as he deflates a bit.

You follow Arthur and Merlin into the room. Cracking your knuckles to relieve some of your nervous tension. Merlin was rushing around sorting Arthur out. “So… what is this matter you wish to discuss, (Y/n).”

“Yes, my sister is wedding her beloved and would like to inquire if I could spend some time with her and the rest of my family during this occasion.” You ask hopefully.

“Of course, give them my congratulations, how long are you thinking?” Arthur conceals his horror of the fact he may not see you for a few days.

“Three weeks.” You smile, excited at the opportunity to see your family for this long.

“Long time for a wedding.” Arthur blurts out.

“Well if you need me to not be…” You knew that for three weeks you were pushing it mentally kicking yourself.

“No no that’s not the problem, it’ll just be odd since I have seen you everyday for a long time.” Arthur back tracks.

“Four years.” You smile fondly.

“Already?”

“Yes, quite remarkable isn’t it, anyway I’ll be leaving tomorrow afternoon so I’ll be here tonight and I have found a temporary guard.”

“Okay, goodnight I’ll see you in three weeks.” Arthur nodded.

“Good Night.”

You leave the room to stand guard. While Arthur just stares at the door before Merlin nudges him and smiles knowingly. “Shut up Merlin.”

Merlin laughs putting out the candles as Arthur goes to bed.

True to your word you are gone by the afternoon, Arthur knows because he watches you leave from his window, he can’t deny that you look very appealing in civilian clothing. Enhanced by the fact it was a rare sight, unfortunately for Arthur, you were walking away from the citadel and he already misses you.

~~~

It had been a week since (Y/n) had left and everything seems to have gone into shambles. There had been a rise in assassination attempts, Arthur hasn’t slept or eaten properly and Merlin is so close to passing out in exhaustion its frightening. Arthur could not walk around the castle with one of the knights escorting him which was frustrating him further. He honestly didn’t know how they could last another two weeks without (Y/n), if anyone had known how much he did around the castle and how important he was to the functioning of the kingdom he would have never been able to leave.

~~~~

You are walking back to Camelot after a horrible feeling washed over you a couple of days after the wedding, you couldn’t get the thought out of your head so here you were walking back a week early. Many horrible thoughts rolled around your head. You’d never forgive yourself if something happened to Arthur, the very idea made you feel sick inside. It would be your fault for leaving for so long despite your better judgement. After years of stopping assassins up to fifteen times a month unnoticed by the higher ups. You walked up a hill in order to glance at Camelot from afar, and to your horror he saw the castle with charcoal smoke raging above it. Then you started to run.

~~~

Well this has been a great two weeks Arthur thought to himself while magically bound on the floor with the knights, Merlin and Guinevere. While they were struggling to escape their bounds the sorcerer sits lazily on the throne with a smug smile on their face. They were droning on about Uther and his genocide of the magical population, Arthur sitting there thinking that its getting harder to convince the council to lift the ban on magic when this happens all the time. (Y/n) would urge for diplomacy at a time like this but Arthur had never been great with words. But he figures it's worth a shot anyway. “What’s your name?”

Well that was definitely a start Arthur thought bitterly. The sorcerer narrows his eyes at him but answers anyway, “Romulus.”

“Okay, Romulus, why do you think it aids your cause by attacking us,” Arthur asks, a little too bluntly for his liking.

This angers Romulus greatly as he continues his rant about all Pendragons being tyrannical rulers.

~~~~

It only takes you half an hour to get to the citadel, but there are enemy soldiers everywhere. Getting into the castle would be the easy part but finding Arthur significantly harder. You cut off your thought process, knowing you had to actually get into the castle first. Raising any alarms could hurt anyone trapped inside. So you sneak round to the servant entrance.

Once you get into the castle the first you notice is that the people he brought with them are trained fighters and decent mercenaries by the look of it. This is not going to be easy you thought to yourself. Quietly dispatching as many as possible before anybody notices.

You take all of the servant shortcuts to avoid slipping into the great hall unnoticed and you see everyone in chains, you hear the sorcerer rant about freeing the magical people of Albion you roll your eyes. Not because he is wrong, nope you agree wholeheartedly just his methods of course you don’t blame the man though so you decide to interrupt. “Hey man.”

His head snaps to your direction. “Who are you?”

“The weirdo who stands outside the King’s door every night.”

“Oh you're the guard everyone tells me to worry about.”

“Yep.”

“You had the perfect opportunity to kill me?”

“Yeah, but talking to you seems to be a better option.”

“How would you know?”

Shit you didn’t think this through. “Well…”

“He doesn’t, let him leave.” Arthur growls.

You groan internally as a devilish smirk lights up the sorcerer’s face, “oh this is just too good to be true.” He laughs.

You gasp as you were flung into the wall and the sorcerer continued to torment Arthur swirling a sword looking ready to kill him urging you to get up and unsheath your sword to engage with him. Shocking him enough to make him stumble back a little, “Hey never got your name.”

“Why?” He snarls.

“I like to know the name of the person I’m fighting.” You swing at him.

“Romulus.” He blocks.

You both exchange furious blows, but you are the superior swordsman. You slash his arm and disarm him making him hiss and vanish. Smiling you turn to face Arthur seeing his tired smile in return sheathing your sword. “Are you ok-” you breath hitches.

You felt as though you got punched in the back so spin around to see Romulus with a bloodied dagger, you grab his wrist but it's weak so he easily breaks free and plunges the knife into your stomach . He smirks as he pulls it out and you collapse on the ground. The world around you goes fuzzy, screaming muffles, a face appears above you but you can’t make out who it is. The world turns black.

~~~

Arthur picks up (Y/n)’s body, bridal style, while ordering the other’s to sweep the castle for anyone more intruders and to aid anyone who needs it. “Merlin, Gwaine come with me, we need to get (Y/n) to Gaius.”

They got to Gaius’ chambers with very few hassles and put (Y/n) on the cot. “Please tell me he’s going to be okay.”

“Sire I’m going to need you to leave the room.”

“But-”

“Please sire.”

Gwaine pulls him out of the room to leave Gaius and Merlin to do whatever they need to do.

~~~

The first time you open your eyes you are in a dark room and there are angry whispers at the foot of the soft bed you’re resting on. You lose consciousness again.

The second time you wake up you see Arthur sitting next to you asleep. Observing him you notice tears stained cheeks and dark circles around his eyes. He looks worse than he did when you came to save him. You decide against waking him up and close your eyes again drifting off.

The third time you woke up you were alone and felt disgusting, dry throat, gunky eyes, oily hair and sweaty. Thankfully there is a cup of water beside you, so you shakily grab it and take a few sips. It was dawn from what you could tell, you groan as you try to sit up, your back feels like it has been stretched and your stomach stings. Pulling away the shirt you had on you see stitches that don’t look all that appealing, definitely going to leave a scar, you wince as you twist in an attempt to see the one on your back. Then Merlin stumbles in and gawks a moment and you open your mouth to say something but he runs out. You hear shouting and next minute Arthur is in the doorway. He strides over to you but halts suddenly like he doesn’t know what to do. You look up at him and part of yourself say go for it, then he moves eloping you in a gentle hug as if he thinks you’ll break. You couldn’t think of anything to say other than, “I’m okay, Arthur.”

“You nearly weren’t.” He whispers back.

That’s when the gravity of what happened hit you, you nearly died, the idea made your head feel fuzzy and your insides sick. You shake this off to comfort Arthur. “I know but your safe, I’m alive so all's good.”

Arthur breaks away and smiles. “(Y/n) I have a confession to make.”

You don’t dare hope. “And what would that be.”

“I might quite possibly be a little bit in love with you.” He looks so scared at this moment.

“Good cause I’m head over heels in love with you.”

Arthur laughs and kisses you gently, smiling into the kiss you lift hand up to caress his cheek. Arthur pulls away and sighs “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

#bbc merlin #bbc merlin fanfiction #arthur pendragon #arthur pendragon x reader #merlin #gwaine #guinevere #knights of the round table #sir gwaine #x reader #x male reader #male reader

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ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes · 3 years

Text

Field of Poppies Part 27

Summary: After being apart for six years, childhood friends Tommy and Amelia reunite under odd circumstances. Tommy is an outspoken young man and Amelia is pregnant and out on the streets. The bond of family can be unbreakable but it is tested often. Especially when Europe descends into war.

Part 27: Someone from Amelia's past returns and causes a stir. Tommy begins to make himself known to people even in London

TW: Discussion of past rape/assault

It was a startling cold fall. Amelia felt the chill in her bones and she couldn’t entirely blame it on the weather. Tommy had successfully distanced himself from her and she was feeling the effects deep in her heart. The man she had married was gone. It was something that she forced herself to reckon with.

There was another thing she had to reckon with come October when a chill was starting to form in the air.

Luckily, it was Martha who intercepted him before he came into the betting shop. What was even luckier was Arthur and Tommy were gone on business in London.

She came over to find Amelia helping out with the books for the day. “Mel, there’s a man at the window asking for you.”

“Who is it?” She hardly looked up from the ledger, too consumed with work. It had become one of two outlets she had. Working in the shop and tending to the children.

The pregnant woman shrugged. “Said he knew you. Said he came from London.”

That caused to Amelia lift her head. There were few people she knew from London who knew she was in Birmingham. “Was he older?” She feared maybe her mother had disclosed her location to her father.

“No, ‘bout your age I’d guess.”

That made Amelia even sicker to her stomach. “Thanks, Marty, I’ll handle it.” She stood up and went to the window.

Martha, sensing her sister-in-law’s uneasiness, followed close behind just in case.

Steven was the son of a wealthy banker and a socialite. He’d known nothing but luxury and excess. Rarely did people deny him.

As much as Amelia hated to admit it, Max did resemble him in a way. They had the same hazelnut-colored eyes and light brown hair. But she had blocked out most of that. She could separate her son from the monster who took advantage of her.

“Leave.” She snarled.

“Amelia, please if you just let me…”

“Let you what? Huh? You don’t deserve a second to explain anything.” She gripped the doorjamb, trying to maintain her composure.

“I’ve just come back from France. I did a lot of thinking over there. Your mother sent me a letter about seeing you. About what she found out.”

“She should’ve kept her mouth shut.” Amelia interrupted. “She had no right to tell you anything.”

“No right? How dare you not tell me about the pregnancy? I have an eight-year-old-”

Martha caught Amelia before she could lunge at the man.

“You have nothing!” She shouted. “You have no right to claim him as your own. Neither do my parents. You keep him out of your thoughts because you’ll never have anything to do with him. I’ll die before I let you near him.”

Undeterred by Amelia’s ferocious state, Steven continued. “I have every right as his father. You’ll have trouble if you keep him from me, Amelia!”

“You’re not his fucking father!”

“John!” Martha shouted back into the shop for her husband. She was having a difficult time reining Amelia in.

“He’ll know nothing of you. And you’ll never know him. You won’t even know his name. You go back to London and you never come back here again, do you hear me?”

John rushed over and separated everyone. He put himself between the two women and Steven. “Who’re you shouting at, mate?” He demanded.

“This isn’t any of your business.” Steven didn’t balk at the fresh-faced man stepping in.

“It is my fucking business. This is the Shelby shop and those women are Shelbys.”

“Typical. She returns to the slums and ends up with the likes of you.” He scoffed.

John’s eyes narrowed. It wouldn’t be wise to cut the man in front of other customers in broad daylight, even if he wanted to. “You stay here much longer and you’ll be sorry.”

“You must be one of the boys she ran the streets with. Did she whore herself out to you too or just the other one?”

Amelia tried to get back at him but couldn’t get past John.

“This family owns these streets. Soon enough we’ll be owning streets in London.” John threatened. “So, move along before you make things worse for yourself.”

“Do you know who the fuck I am?” Steven snapped.

“Your name don’t matter here. The only name that matters here is Shelby. And don’t fucking forget it.” He hissed. “Scudboat, get this bastard out of here.”

Amelia was shaking but Martha managed to get her to sit down. “I should’ve known. My mother has no problem going behind my back. That selfish, selfish, selfish woman.” She choked back a sob. The entire encounter had opened up old wounds.

“Deep breaths.” Martha coaxed.

“How dare he-he try to call himself a father. How dare he?” She ranted. “After everything, he did to me? He destroyed everything.”

“John’ll take care of it. He’ll call Tom and Arthur.” Martha assured her. “They’ll make sure he never comes back.”

Hot tears rolled down Amelia’s cheeks. “What if he takes Max from me?” She sobbed.

“That won’t happen.”

“His family is powerful, they have money. What if they go to the courts?”

John was leaning against the wall just in case Steven returned. “We’ve got money too, Mel.” He said gently although he was still angry too. Amelia was a sister to him and there was no way he was going to let a man speak to his sister in such a way. “He won’t be back if he knows what’s good for him.”

“John, why don’t you go try and call Tom?” Martha suggested.

He glanced out the window one more time before going into Arthur’s office to make the call.

“Will you check on Ada and the children?” Amelia asked her sister-in-law.

“Of course, you’ll be alright?”

“Yeah.”

Martha gave her a squeeze before going next door.

Amelia stood and made her way to Arthur’s office. She stood by the door so John couldn’t see her but she could hear him.

“Arthur, is Tom there?” John asked when his brother answered. There was a pause. “Tom, it’s John. Some bastard just came ‘round looking for Mel. Guess he’s Max’s well-yeah. Yeah, biological.” Another pause. “Scudboat took care of him. Well, guess he’s going back to London. That’s where Mel said he’s from. His car? Looked like an Austin. A sixty, maybe a fifty. Well, how should I know, Tom? He shouting at Mel and Martha, I didn’t ask for his fucking address.” John sighed. “Yeah, yeah, I got it. I’ll see if they can catch up to him.” He hung up the phone and Amelia quickly moved away from the door.

John walked past her and called for Scudboat and a couple of other men. She watched as he handed the keys to the family car over and they left.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Amelia didn’t hear from Tommy that night even though he planned on calling. The phone stayed silent on the hook. Martha came over to the flat to keep her company.

“Oof, I tell ya, this one is not easy.” The young woman held a hand to her lower back. “Abby and Wilbur were so easy. Thought it would be just as easy this time around.” She rubbed a hand over her stomach.

“Ask Polly for some remedy. She always knows what to do.” Amelia suggested. She was sitting on Annie’s bed across from her sister-in-law. The two were each braiding their daughter’s hair. Max was on the floor laying on his stomach as he toyed around with wooden soldiers with Wilbur.

Martha nodded. “Oh, Abby, your hair is so long.” She sighed. “I can’t believe how old you are sometimes.” She cooed and kissed her beloved daughter’s cheek.

“I’m big too, mummy, right?” Annie chirped.

“Very big.” Amelia smiled. “In a couple of years, you’ll be going to school like your brother and cousins.”

“School’s boring,” Max muttered from his spot on the carpet.

“Well, you need an education,” Amelia replied. “Someday you’ll thank us for that opportunity.”

“Finn says we don’t need school.” Wilbur piped up.

Martha and Amelia shared a guilty look. It had been such a misfortune that Finn couldn’t go to school when the boys were away at war. He had missed so much and now he felt he was old enough to decide if he went or not. Unfortunately, Tommy and the others agreed. They wanted to mold him into the next Blinder. The poor boy couldn’t even read.

“Sometimes it’s difficult to see that what we do now, although it’s hard or may not be fun, it will mean a lot to us in the future. You’ll be thankful for it, I promise.”

~~~~~~~~

Tommy returned home the next night, a day later than he originally promised. Amelia was finished tucking in the children when he came upstairs. They exchanged a kiss and Tommy put his bag on the bed.

“Are they asleep?” He asked.

“No, they’ll still be awake.” She answered.

He pecked her cheek again before going to say goodnight to Annie and Max.

While he did, Amelia began to unpack his bag and sort through the dirty and clean clothes. Inside, she found one of his white button-downs. Dried blood was splattered across the collar and sleeves.

She held the shirt in her hand for longer than she realized, just staring at the maroon-colored stains. There was no question in her mind whose blood it was.

The floor creaked behind her as Tommy returned. He saw her holding the shirt.

“Did you kill him?” She asked quietly.

“No.” He answered truthfully. “Just cut him. He won’t be around again.”

Amelia finally let go of the shirt. “What if he goes to the police?”

Tommy closed the bedroom door behind him before going to sit on the bed. “He won’t if he knows what’s good for him. He knows we won’t be in there for long. And when we come out…”

“You promised not to get nicked again.”

“What was I supposed to do?” He questioned. “He thinks he can come around her again demanding to see our son? We taught him a lesson. I’m not getting nicked for anything.”

“I don’t want you getting in trouble because of him. It’s not worth it.”

“Not worth it?” He stood up and took her hand. “You don’t think I would go to prison defending you?”

“You hardly even look at me anymore.” She whispered. “I know you’re struggling, Tom, and that’s okay. I promised I would never abandon you. But don’t abandon your family because of some crusade you think you need to take on.”

“I won’t fucking let him near my family.”

“Then focus on your family.” Amelia challenged. “Stop pushing me away!”

“This again.” Tommy rubbed a hand over his face. “Every fucking conversation leads to this, Mel.”

“Because it’s been the same for weeks. I feel like you don’t even want to be around me anymore. You used to be my world, Tommy. I would wake up in the morning and you’d always be there. Every day you would be there. You were attentive and caring and so passionate. Now I-I don’t even know if you want me anymore.”

“I can’t apologize for changing,” Tommy muttered, letting go of her hand. “I can’t apologize for being forced into war and being broken down. I’m doing me best, Amelia. I don’t know what more you can ask from me. You want the old Tommy; well, I can’t bring him back for you even if I wanted. I still love you just as much as the day you came back to Small Heath. I don’t know what else to say.”

“Neither do I.”

Tommy took a deep breath and walked back over to her. There she was, still the same quiet young woman who arrived in Small Heath broken and afraid. He felt that maybe once he got his hands on the man who broke her, he would be satisfied. Maybe she would be too. If she knew that he had forced the man to his knees, forced him to beg for his life, force him to apologize for everything he’d done.

But Tommy knew all that and he still didn’t feel at ease. Just like he didn’t feel at ease when he returned home. They could be brought away from the trauma and danger, but it still clung on without mercy.

“Do you know what cycle I go through every night?” Amelia asked quietly.

“Tell me.” He begged. There was nothing more he wanted to do but heal her pain. Just like she tried to heal his. It may have been futile efforts, all of them, but he would never stop trying. Even if he felt empty inside.

“I have nightmares every night. Nightmares that you’re leaving again. That you’ve been killed in war. That you’ve-you’ve left me for someone else.” She choked back a sob. “And every week or so I have the same nightmare I’ve had longer than any other. It just replays the night that he-that he raped me.” In almost ten years since the assault, Amelia had never said the word out loud. She could never get herself to. There was so much anguish and guilt. Her parents said it had been her own fault. Steven had claimed she wanted it too. To try and put herself at ease, she never said what he truly did to her. Until that night.

Tommy pulled her into his arms. It was true that he felt so far away from her. So far away from his children, his siblings, his aunt, his nieces and nephews. Everyone. He felt so far away from Small Heath. But that didn’t mean he was withdrawing from his duty as a father, brother, husband, nephew, all of it. He’d be there physically, if not mentally. That’s all he could do.

And he vowed to himself as he held his wife flush to his chest, if he ever saw Steven again, he would murder the man.

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