#warning! spoilers for the first and second case in the tags!!

[dyaz-stories]

in a world of boys, he's a gentleman || Park Chan-Young x f!Reader

summary: Yeong-Su breaks a window at the stadium, and Chan-Young takes the blame for it, resulting in severe consequences. Fortunately, you're here to pick up the pieces afterwards.

word count: 3.1k

warnings & tags: spoilers for season 2 of sweet home, violence, injuries, soldiers being assholes, coarse language, making out, the pronoun "she" is used in reference to the reader

A/N: couldn't find gifs for chan-young so I made this one, but I'm by no means a gif maker, so, yeah. Also, I don't know anything about baseball, so please pretend this makes sense if you know better. I'm not sure which team Chan-Young was supposed to be on, so I picked the Doosan Bears because Sweet Home takes place in Seoul. Finally, it's my first time writing for him, so I hope you'll enjoy my take on this character!

It’s another day at the stadium, which means it’s another day of boredom.

Oh, there are things to do around here, sure. If you don’t mind being ordered around by soldiers who stand behind you with a scowl on their face and remind you that the only reason you’re even there is because of their good will, you’ll find a job to do. Cleaning a corner of the stadium, probably, in hopes that someone will be able to live there — as if there were enough mattresses — or doing the inventory, again, while looking the other way when rations mysteriously go missing and everyone knows who’s doing the taking.

Thing is, you’ve never been one to grovel. In fact, back in the Before days, you were the one giving the orders. Youngest assistant coach for the Doosan bears, the Seoul baseball team, you were in line to become the youngest coach in the history of the country. And, yeah, you weren’t completely in charge, but you were trusted. You had responsibilities. People knew to take you seriously.

You’ve had ideas for how to run this place more efficiently, to avoid making the civilians feel like they’re second-rate citizens, but it’s been made clear to you that you weren’t welcome to make suggestions. So you haven’t bothered, lately, but you also won’t play in that stupid game, where people get to change the rules without telling you.

It means that you do a lot of aimless walking around in the stadium. Chief Ji implicitly lets you roam around, a testament to the fact that you knew each other well back in the days, when you used to bring her coffee before big games, but you mostly try to make yourself useful in the way soldiers haven’t bothered accounting for.

A lot of that means keeping an eye on kids that are left to themselves otherwise. Their parents are busy, and it’s not like there’s much to do for them, here, so you try to keep them entertained. Unfortunately, you’re no teacher, meaning that it’s a lot of physical activities, wherever you find enough place. Other days, people who are teachers take over for you. That is the case today, meaning you’d have the day ‘off’, if it weren’t for Yeong-Su not showing up for class.

You don’t personally think he should have to attend class. You know how mean the other kids can be to him, and though the teachers don’t do much in the name of keeping the peace, you don’t let that fly when you’re in charge. Which is probably why the kid never misses your classes, a small pride that you keep well tucked in your heart.

Still, the teachers insist that you make sure he’s okay, so you agree to go try and find him. He knows the stadium well, meaning it will be no easy task.

You end up finding him throwing a ball against a wall. It looks like he’s practicing his aim, you think when you notice that he’s drawn a square on it. You’re about to approach him, maybe give him a few pointers, when a particularly hard throw has the ball bouncing too high and it crashes through a window, finishing outside of the stadium.

You freeze. Monsters don’t approach the stadium much — it’s been months since there’s been a case of that happening.

But the mere thought of there being something open here still has your heart pounding with fear. It’s only a few seconds before you compose yourself, but that’s long enough for someone to come running. You rush towards Yeong-Su, prepared to fiercely defend him if you need to.

It’s Chan-Young, and you relax, even if your heart is now pounding for a whole other reason.

“What happened here?” he asks.

He may have been running with his whole equipment, but he shows no sign of being out of breath.

“I’m sorry,” Yeong-Su mumbles. He’s hard to handle, especially these days, but he clearly respects Chan-Young a lot. “I didn’t mean to— I was just practicing and—"

Oh gosh, you realize, kid was practicing pitching, and it’s not lost on you that that’s the position Chan-Young mainly played as.

“…and now I’ve lost my ball,” Yeong-Su sniffs.

He’s trying to hold back tears, and it tears a little piece of your heart away. You know that Yeong-Su had found a ball autographed by Chan-Young, know that it’s one of his most prized possessions. It’s no surprise that Yeong-Su can’t stand the thought of losing anything more than what he already has.

Chan-Young glances at you, still standing a few steps behind Yeong-Su.

“He didn’t mean to,” you say. “I’ll help you fix the window.” Eun-Yu probably won’t mind giving you a hand, too.

Chan-Young nods, and you watch as he puts a knee to the floor, so he’s at eye-level with Yeong-Su. If he was any other soldier, you’d be more cautious, but you know him. Worked with him, when he was on your team, lost him when he enlisted, and now you’re in this strange limbo, where he doesn’t seem to know how to interact with you, even though there is this obvious familiarity between the two of you, every time you do speak.

“You need to be more careful,” he tells Yeong-Su, putting on his Serious voice. “If a monster heard that and came in, it could be very dangerous for everyone. And if you’re in front of the window when it happens, it would attack you first. So don’t let that happen again, okay?”

Then he gives Yeong-Su a small, comforting smile.

“If you want to practice again, come ask me next time, okay?” He glances up at you, and there’s such softness in his eyes when he does. “Or ask the coach. She knows her stuff.”

You’d never become coach, not officially, but his use of the word makes your heart swell.

“Okay,” Yeong-Su mumbles, staring down at his feet.

For a moment, it looks like everything will resolve itself just like that, and you’re already putting a hand on Yeong-Su’s shoulders to pull him away with you, when you hear the familiar stomping of military boots coming towards you.

Chan-Young’s expression changes immediately.

“Go,” he orders.

“But…”

He spins around to grab your shoulders, lowering himself to look straight into your eyes.

“Go,” he repeats. “Please.”

There’s such urgency in his voice that you can’t deny him, even if you’re not sure what is going on exactly. You grab Yeong-Su’s hand and pull him with you until you’re both behind a corner, just in time. You keep an eye on the scene, confused. The soldiers behave like assholes, you know that, but surely—

“What happened here?” the Sergeant bellows in Chan-Young’s face. “You’re lucky it was us, who were standing outside the window, and not something else! You better have an explanation, soldier.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” Chan-Young says, shoulders straight, from what you can see. “I was just practicing and—”

Before you can wonder why he’d lie, the punch catches him in the stomach, and he doubles over in pain. You catch yourself before you can gasp out loud, and instinctively cover Yeong-Su’s mouth, which is probably a smart move, because he starts thrashing to run towards Chan-Young. You don’t blame him, but you also absolutely cannot let him do that, not right now.

“Yeong-Su,” you whisper, mimicking Chan-Young’s attitude with you just a minute ago. “You need to go back to Ms. Cha. Okay?”

“But they’re…”

You wince, because they’re still berating Chan-Young, and one of them has just given him a hard kick to the ribs. All the more reason for you to intervene.

“I’ll take care of it, I promise, but I can’t do that if you’re here. So go back to her, and I’ll come see you when everything is okay again, alright?”

He sniffs, rubs his eyes to hide the tears, then turns around and runs. At least he’s got a good survival instinct, you think, even if it hurts to remember where it comes from. The second you’re sure he’s not coming back, it’s your turn to run, but towards the soldiers this time, with a confidence that you now worry is wholly unwarranted.

“Hey, don’t you think that’s enough?” you interject, maneuvering so you can get between them and Chan-Young.

There’s a scoff and they roll their eyes. One of them puts his hand on your shoulder and pushes, but you barely take a step back. You’re used to men trying to intimidate you.

“I thought we’d made it clear that your opinions weren’t welcome,” Seo-Jin snaps at you, getting too close to your face for comfort — like that would make you budge.

“Doesn’t mean I’m going to let you beat up someone because he broke a fucking window, when if you’d gotten to work, that hole would be closed by now,” you reply on the same tone.

He opens his mouth to yell at you once more, a vein bulging on his forehead, when Chan-Young comes to stand in front of you. He’s barely just gotten on his feet, has one hand pressed against his rib cage, and still, he’s already coming to stop you from taking any risk. You want to scream at him and hug him all at the same time.

“Please, sir, she doesn’t have anything to do with this.”

Neither does he!

“That’s enough, Seo-Jin,” sergeant Kim finally intervenes, and the man immediately takes a step back. “Don’t let it happen again,” he tells Chan-Young. “And fix the hole,” he tells you, as an afterthought, before leaving and taking his team with him.

Your blood is boiling. He might try to be the voice of reason now, but you saw him doing nothing while his men got blood on their hands so he wouldn’t have to.

You don’t have time to think about it, though, because next to you, Chan-Young has slowly let himself slide to the floor.

“Are you okay?” you ask, panicked, while he grimaces and leans against the wall.

“I’m fine,” he says, an obvious lie. “You shouldn’t have said anything.”

“You took responsibility for something you had nothing to do with, but I’m the one who shouldn’t have said anything?”

He sighs, shakes his head.

“I just don’t want anything to happen to you,” he says. He looks at you with warm eyes, and you feel your breath catching in your throat.

There’s something about Chan-Young, there always has been. You always have to remind yourself that he’s nice to everyone, because he’s such a kind person. Even that didn’t stop you from falling for him — and it’s the second time that it happens, damn him.

“I’ll go get medical supplies,” you say, pushing yourself to your feet. “Stay here.”

“There’s no need to—”

“Please, do you want to die from an infection after surviving all these monsters? Stay. Here.”

You ignore any further protests as you rush to get the supplies.

It doesn’t take you long. Chief Ji provides you with what you need without questions, and apologizes for not being able to give you painkillers — they’re reserved for emergencies, she explains. You know the other supplies are, too, but you understand her reasoning, and just thank her with a quick nod and a promise to help out for the next few shifts outside the stadium, if she needs it.

When you come back, Chan-Young’s moved to sit on one of the boxes that are always laying around in here, and you grab another one to sit across from him.

“Open your jacket,” you say as you take the disinfectant.

“I— I don’t think that’s necessary—”

“C’mon, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” you say with an eyeroll, because the guys on the team weren’t exactly shy about taking their shirt off in front of you and he should remember that.

He clears his throat and glances away, and you notice his ears turning red.

“Um, right. Yeah. Just a second.”

Under the jacket, he’s wearing a simple white t-shirt, and he lifts it up so you can see for yourself.

And it’s not looking good. The area is red and swollen already, and you worry it will be worse soon. Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do about that, so you disinfect the scratches caused by the boots, and gesture for him to put it back down. You’d normally advise to put something cold on it, to calm the swelling, but that’s not really an option here, not when the little electricity you have is mostly used to keep the lights on.

“Try not to move around too much, okay?”

“I’ll try my best,” he says with a brief laugh. It’s a silly recommendation, and you both know it, but you still felt the need to say something.

“Now give me your hand, I’ll see what I can do.”

He does, and you carefully turn it to check the palm. You’re not sure if he hurt himself when he fell earlier, or if it’s just that there’s constantly manual work to be done and it’s hard not to injure your hand. Either way, you start cleaning it and disinfecting it as well.

“Do you think they would have been as hard on a kid?” you ask.

“No!” he protests immediately, maybe a tad too strongly. “They’re humans. I’m sure they wouldn’t have—” He interrupts himself, and you suspect that he knows they still could have hit him, a thought that makes your stomach turn. “But… Yeong-Su’s had a hard enough life as it is. People here are not… kind to him.”

“I’m not blaming you, especially after that,” you sigh, “I just— You do realize that it’s not your responsibility, right? I’d have helped the kid, and it could have ended better than…”

You gesture vaguely at him, and he closes his eyes for a second. He closes his fingers over yours where you’re holding his hand, rubs his thumb over your skin, which sends a wave of heat through your body. It only lasts a moment, though, before he catches himself and lets go.

“I’m— I was in charge, when his sister— I was supposed to be helping them. And I failed him.”

“What?” Ms. Cha told you that story, in hushed whispers, to explain why Yeong-Su was such a complicated child these days. It had been clear that there was nothing Chan-Young could have done. “You can’t blame yourself for someone turning into a monster and going on a rampage.”

“It happened on my watch,” he insists. “If I’d been more careful— If I hadn’t left the bus—”

You stop yourself to look at him straight in the eye. He’s close, but you don’t feel uncomfortable, not with him.

“That could have happened to anyone. You couldn’t have planned for it.” He exhales, long and slow.

“Thank you for saying that,” he says, but you can tell that your words haven’t sunk in. It breaks your heart, and yet you have no idea what more you can say. After all, you weren’t there. It makes sense that he wouldn’t believe you.

“You still shouldn’t put yourself in the line of danger to—” to what, anyway? Expiate his sins? What does he have to prove? Does he have a death wish or something? “You shouldn’t put yourself in danger when you don’t have to.”

“Better me than Yeong-Su,” he insists. “He’s just a kid, and he has his mom — well, Ms. Cha. And he has you.” You set the disinfectant back down, hands almost trembling as you realize where he’s going with this. “Better me than him,” he just concludes sadly.

“Park Chan-Young,” you say, “you don’t seriously think that, right?”

He doesn’t meet your eyes when he replies.

“He has a family here. I— don’t really have anyone—”

You’re not sure what goes through your head when you put your hand on his cheek and kiss him. If you had to rationalize it — which you’re not really in any position to do when it happens — you’d say that you just wanted to prove him how wrong he was. Truth is, though, that you also couldn’t bear the idea that you were letting him believe that when it was so entirely untrue.

His lips are warm against yours, and you think you feel him leaning into you, but you pull away too soon to know.

“There,” you say as you gather your things. “Now you know you do have someone, so don’t put yourself in danger unnecessarily, alright?”

Then you’re on your feet, hell-bent on fleeing the scene.

Of course, Chan-Young catches up with you in an instant. He grabs your wrist, and pulls you back against him. His eyes are wide as he searches yours.

“Did you mean that?” he asks, his voice catching in his throat.

“Mean what?” Your heart is pounding in your chest. You’re… not sure where he is going with this.

“It wasn’t pity, right? You— I have you?”

The words almost send a shiver down your spine.

“Of course you do. I don’t exactly go around kissing people—”

Next thing you know, his hands are cupping your face and his mouth is on yours. He kisses you feverishly, like he desperately needs you to prove your words to him. You kiss back without hesitation, wrapping your arms around his neck. It isn’t long before your back hits the wall and you let out a brief groan.

“Sorry,” he says, pulling away from you to check on you. “Are you—”

You don’t let him finish, pulling him back down against you. His hands move down to your waist, one of them slipping under your t-shirt to feel your bare skin. He’s kissing you slower now, more sensual, and he abandons your mouth to kiss down your jaw, then your neck, before he comes back to your lips.

“I shouldn’t—” he mumbles against you. “I’m not supposed to—”

“Everyone’s doing it,” you reply, but it doesn’t surprise you when he tears himself away from you. He’s a sight to behold, flushed and out of breath — and is it odd that you enjoy seeing him panting from kissing you when you know he can run for hours without struggling? He’s always been one to stick to the rules closely. It says a lot that he broke one right now, but you won’t push him any further, not until he’s ready.

You take a step back towards him, take his hand in yours, and press your lips to his cheek for one last, soft kiss.

“Don’t forget now,” you say. “You have me. Don’t risk your life without thinking.”

He doesn’t kiss you again, but he leans in to press his forehead against yours, squeezing your hand in his.

“I have you,” he repeats, as if to convince himself. “I have you.”

I hope you liked it! as always, if you did, consider reblogging and letting me know what you thought! feedback is really motivating and is what keep us authors going, so leaving a comment or sending an ask or anything really helps to keep me writing!

more writing for sweet home

#sweet home #sweet home x reader #sweet home netflix #sweet home season #park chan young #chan young #chan young x reader #park chan young x reader #sweet home imagines #park jinyoung #my writing

[leesmustardgarden]

Cooking with a Special Puppet Headcanons

P x (gn) Reader

Warnings/Tags: General game spoilers ofc, Sophia exhibiting the symptoms of an ED but there is a genuine canon Lore Reason I do not want to spoil sorry, P is a silly lil guy (affectionate), Gemini is a silly little guy (derogatory)

A/N: I miss taking culinary classes, so I coped by making this!! This was also an excuse to test out my new silly borders hehe

The first time you bring P into the kitchen, he accidentally makes a huge mess and feels so bad he starts avoiding the kitchen. If he needed you while you were in there, he’ll wait by the door until you come out even if it takes hours

It takes a lot of encouragement and patience to finally get him back in the kitchen, and even then he’s so careful of everything around him. It doesn’t always go well, and most of the time there’s still some accident that leaves a giant mess to clean up

It’s like watching a dragon in a china shop— every so often he catches on something and oh! Down comes all the pots and pans.

Gemini finds it hilarious but while he loves messing with P, he is also the one to tell him not to push it if he’s so stressed out and to take it little by little

P so sweet, he’s so caring and careful and yeah ok he can be mischievous but not in the sense that he’d purposefully make trouble for the people he cares for

In fact he tries to help you out by bringing around food for all the residents in the Hotel so you don’t have to do everything

Polendina takes Antonia’s meals to her and Pulcinella forces Venigni to actually eat when he forgets to

It’s very funny to watch, because as stubborn and eccentric as Venigni can be he cannot say no to his no. 1 bestie

Eugenié is silly and has to be reminded to eat (she gets too absorbed into her work), and Sophia usually refuses food. It’s worrying, but she says it’s alright and vaguely explains that she doesn’t need food 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

As the days go by and as he becomes more human and is able to control his strength better, he finally musters up the courage to ask you to teach him how to cook (which Gemini insists on being present for)

The first few times he is so shaky and afraid of everything in case it breaks, but after a few days he’ll start getting comfortable with the utensils and tools

Once he’s comfortable enough, he starts acting out small mischiefs and well

It’s hard to scold him when he’s finally overcome his fear of making a mess

“And then you carefully— No—“ The egg splats against the counter in seconds, spraying up to his freckled face. He pulls his hand up slowly, and with the most amused deadpan you’ve seen on him, turns his yolk-soaked palm to you. You don’t even fight the frown that settles on your face as Gemini coughs to hide a laugh.

“Nice one! I think—“ cough “— you’re getting better,” He says. You glare at him where P’s put him on the counter, and he laughs harder. You would strangle him, but that would probably just encourage the prick.

P looks innocently at you; his expression unchanging but a tilt in his shoulder gives away the fact that he knows what he’s doing. You’re sure that if he could laugh, he would be giggling in all his freckled cuteness. It softens your frown into fond exasperation as you reach a hand to wipe the egg off his face. He takes his clean legion hand and gently places it atop yours, pushing his cheek flush against your palm.

“Gemini is such a bad influence on you,” You say with a no heat in your voice. P looks up at you though his lashes, and you can almost see the mischief printed on his face.

“How am I a bad influence?” Gemini says indignantly, having the gall to sound offended.

You dip your hand into the bag of flour nearby, scoop out a handful, and throw it at him. He sputters and yelps, starting to complain. You’re too distracted by Gemini to notice the curious way P’s looking over at you and the bag of flour. He quietly slips his legion hand behind you when you move forward as your argument with Gemini progresses.

“That was actually so rude,“ Gemini says.

“Oh like you aren’t the one enabling him all the time.“

“When have I ever?”

“I don’t know— the art shop, for one?”

“That was such a long time ago!”

“Two days—!”

Flour hits your cheek, dusting your face in white. Gemini gets a second to laugh at you, before flour also hits him and his lamp topples over right into spilled egg. A bit away from you both, P is standing with his hands behind his back and the bag of flour peeking out from behind him. His face is twitching like it’s trying to smile, and you feel your heart melt at the sight. By the end of the day, you’re just glad the kitchen’s still standing.

#lies of p pinocchio #lies of p x reader #pinocchio x reader #lop x reader #p x reader #Lee’s writing ✍️

[antianakin]

Antianakin's Second Anti-Anakin/Pro-Jedi Fic Rec List

Same general idea as the first one, this rec list is dedicated to fics that are critical of Anakin Skywalker. That can mean anything from just emphasizing that the Jedi's philosophies are right even if it means Anakin is wrong, to killing Anakin off in the most gruesome (and probably cathartic) way possible as a consequence for his choices. Since I know there are differing levels of feelings towards Anakin in the people that follow me, I'm going to add in some new helpful terms and redefine the categories slightly. Please note that these are MY personal interpretations of the fics, not the authors' stated intentions.

Helpful terms:

Unfinished - Any fic that is marked as incomplete, or a series where the fic(s) in it are still incomplete and cannot stand alone.

Ongoing - Any series marked as incomplete, but the fics in it are marked as complete or can stand alone as they are.

Critical - The fic critiques Anakin's philosophies and choices, but allows for more sympathy towards his character and situation should the reader desire it.

Anti - The fic specifically presents Anakin in a very negative way without any sympathy for him or his choices.

Anakin/Consequences: Anakin experiences consequences for his actions, but does not die. These fics can be anywhere between "critical" to fully "anti" depending on the author's take.

Spoiler Alert, He Doesn't Make It: Anakin experiences the specific consequence of dying. These fics will likely all fall under the definition of "anti" as opposed to just "critical."

The Galaxy Deserved Better: Focus of the story is more on characters' reactions to Anakin's choices or using other characters and their relationships to critique Anakin's choices in canon. None of these fics will be "anti" Anakin probably, since the critique of Anakin is at best a catalyst for the rest of the story.

I've had people ask me how to FIND more anti-Anakin fics, so here's my tips:

Look at your favorite authors' bookmarks. If you like something someone wrote, chances are they like reading the same stuff you do.

There's always the option of looking into tags, but I've found that very few people actually use "anti" tags on fanfiction, so your best bet is to look into pro Jedi/Jedi appreciation tags as much as possible, and the ones that are truly pro Jedi are often also critical of Anakin simply by design (if he shows up at all).

A lot of these fics take things like the Tusken massacre, Order 66, and Anakin's treatment of Padme, Ahsoka, Obi-Wan, and the clones very seriously. Please take that as a warning if any of those things might be triggering, and keep an eye on the tags for all of the fics included here just in case.

There is no specific order to this. I tried to group fics from one specific author together, but other than that, I didn't place anything in any specific position for a reason.

This is not an exhaustive list of good anti-Anakin fics that exist, obviously. If your fic or your favorite fic isn't on this list, please feel free to rec it yourself in the notes, leave a reply or reblog with a link. I'm happy to read more anti-Anakin fic, especially if it's very Pro-Jedi!

One final reminder: NOTHING IN THIS LIST IS ANAKIN FRIENDLY! That means it's likely not going to be friendly to Anakin specific ships either, particularly Obikin and Anidala. If that's going to bother you to read, please just skip this entire list, it's not for you.

Anakin/Consequences

Blood-born Memories by Siderea (anti, 725):

Quinlan touches Obi-Wan's robe after his "assassination" by Rako Hardeen and ends up picking up some memories and emotions from Anakin that give him some heart-breaking revelations about Anakin's true nature.

Technically this one ends just before any real consequences and so the consequences are more implied, but I love the way Quinlan reacts to the revelations he has in this fic. Quinlan is so obviously horrified by it and heartbroken on Obi-Wan's behalf, but also strong enough as a Jedi to know what he needs to do now. He's already grieving his friend, but he has to set all of that aside to deal with this now more important issue. This fic is supremely unlikely to ever get any follow-up, but thinking about how Obi-Wan would deal with this development upon coming back from his stint undercover is delightfully angsty.

Malfunctions & Mutiny by BitterChocolateStars (anti, 6k):

Obi-Wan loses on Mustafar, but Anakin takes him prisoner and proceeds to kill Palpatine and make Padme Empress. He puts Cody in charge of guarding Obi-Wan, and one day Cody's chip breaks when Anakin tortures Obi-Wan. Cody starts working on an escape plan for everyone, Jedi and clone alike.

The nice thing about fics post Order 66 from clone perspectives is that Anakin tends to be represented as an unforgivable monster and little else. Cody's priority is saving everybody he can and getting them as far away as possible, so he's not interested in trying to understand or sympathize with Anakin when it doesn't serve his purposes. One of the things I really like in this fic is the way we see Rex and Ahsoka react to the revelation of Anakin's betrayal. Ahsoka takes it a lot better than she does in canon, but we get a nice sort-of outsider perspective of Rex struggling with believing it until he doesn't have any other choice and the way this impacts his relationship with Cody.

The Temple vs Order 66 by LauraBWrites (anti, 4k):

The Temple has become semi-sentient over the years and starts preparing to protect the Jedi in the eventuality that Anakin Skywalker fails.

The Temple itself being a character is really fun, and I quite loved the way it was almost arguing with the Force about Anakin and how to handle the growing darkness in him and the galaxy. I also really appreciated that, while Padme ultimately leaves Anakin behind, her selfish choices during the war aren't swept under the rug, either. I liked that it insists that Anakin is taken care of and not just left to rot, but that whether he gets better or not remains up to him. It doesn't matter how much therapy he's given by the Jedi, he has to choose to accept the help or it won't work.

For want of a horse, the rider was lost by LacieFuyu (critical, 19k):

Anakin doesn't get left in the dark about the Rako Hardeen mission and it goes disastrously as a result. Everyone has to live with the consequences of that choice.

This one takes place within the Rako Hardeen arc, but it does deal with the revelation of the Tusken Massacre and the Anidala marriage as well. There are a lot of truths being thrown at Anakin in this particular fic by the people around him who start to discover more of what he's done and who he truly is, most of whom choose not to sugarcoat anything for him. Several of the characters choose not to forgive Anakin for what he's done, even as some of them continue to work to help him figure out how to heal and get better. There is hope left for him at the end, but the consequences for him in this feel very real and substantial, it goes far beyond Anakin just having to live with what he's done. He loses a lot of the people he cared about, he loses certain privileges and ranks, and they leave open the possibility that he might have to face a pretty serious consequence for the Tusken Massacre from the Tuskens themselves. So while it's sympathetic, it takes Anakin's choices seriously, which I appreciate. I also liked seeing some of the ways other characters were dealing with their own pain and betrayal, the ways they were taking comfort from Jedi teachings and loved ones to heal in a more healthy way.

Spoiler Alert, He Doesn't Make It

here on the edge of silence, half afraid by Siderea (anti, 4k):

Pirate/Mer AU where Fox and the Guard work on Palpatine and Anakin's ship and Fox manages to kill Palpatine, causing Anakin to throw him overboard only for Mer!Obi-Wan to save him.

I like the development of Fox and Obi-Wan's relationship in this one, from some very understandable mistrust to attraction and the beginnings of a friendship. The glimpses we get into a wider world and a rebellion of sorts and how Obi-Wan being a merman fits into the Jedi still existing and fighting alongside the clones under Palpatine are SO tantalizing. Fox's opinion of Anakin is immensely low and Obi-Wan himself is far enough along from whatever betrayal Anakin committed in this AU that he is able to criticize Anakin's behavior and obsessions with people. Anakin never actually appears in this fic, he remains a far-away obstacle to be removed, and I love that for him.

The Galaxy Deserved Better:

Ahsoka is Mace's Padawan series by SkyeBean (ongoing, anti, 442k):

The title of the series speaks for itself for the most part, but this is an AU where Mace chooses Ahsoka to be his Padawan around a year prior to AOTC and it follows the various consequences of that change both to Ahsoka herself and to the galaxy at large. The first fic goes all the way through the end of the Clone Wars, but other fics in the series continue beyond that to at least the end of ROTJ and explore the impact of the Empire on the Jedi as they struggle to survive.

I made an entire separate post strictly about this series because it basically changed my brain chemistry for the week it took me to get through everything, and I know several other people have recc'd it in various lists, but I'm putting it here again for anyone who hasn't yet seen it because it's just that good and that worth it. This fic understands how to make Ahsoka develop and mature without making her some angel or goddess of light without flaws. It is BREATHTAKINGLY pro Jedi and especially pro Mace Windu. There's some really great exploration of Ahsoka's relationship to the clones both before and after Order 66 as well a lot of delightful diversity in her relationships to other Jedi. This fic does not pull punches with regards to Anakin, Padme, and Anidala, or the consequences of their choices. If you were disappointed in how the Ahsoka show treated her reaction to Anakin and his atrocities, this fic is the OPPOSITE of that.

After the War (Part the First) by KChan88 (critical, 7k):

Instead of Obi-Wan, Mace and Yoda choose Quinlan to be the one who goes undercover during the Rako Hardeen arc. Obi-Wan, who has been in an off and on relationship with Quinlan since they were teenagers, reacts to the loss.

This is actually incredibly positive towards Anakin, but I'm leaving it in here as "critical" because pretty much any fic that has someone else reacting to the Rako Hardeen act is sort-of critical of Anakin's canon behavior by design, and the underlying issues that ultimately lead him to darkness. Obi-Wan reacts like a Jedi should, letting go when he believes Quinlan to be dead, and understanding when he has to face Quinlan after he knows it was a lie even as he is still angry at the circumstances putting Quinlan in that position in the first place (not the JEDI, just the war and the way it's forcing the Jedi to run themselves ragged and put themselves through the wringer). That anger gets acknowledged and accepted and Obi-Wan and Quinlan are shown to have an incredibly healthy relationship with each other that's incredibly sweet.

After the War (Part the Second) by KChan88 (critical, 6k):

Quinlan manages to catch up to Obi-Wan during his confrontation with Anakin during the Obi-Wan Kenobi show and the two have a reunion after things settle down on Tatooine.

Part of the same series as the above, this one lands more sympathetic towards Anakin than positive, since it's set post Order 66 and, for obvious reasons, it's pretty hard to be positive about what Anakin's done and what he's chosen to be at this point. But it's not unsympathetic, both Obi-Wan and Quinlan remember good times with Anakin, Obi-Wan has a line about having felt some kind of light in him during that last conversation they have in the show, and Quinlan makes comparisons to Anakin sounding like a scared and lonely little boy. So the critical aspect of it is relatively soft and minimal aside from the obvious references to his betrayal. Much like the fic above, I really love the way Obi-Wan and Quinlan's relationship is represented and the dynamic they have with each other.

Meet in the Middle by BilbosMom (critical, 9k):

Baby Luke and Leia are working on some Force shenanigans to try to find a way to speak to each other through a middle ground within the Force, but have trouble getting to each other on their own and end up recruiting Rex and Obi-Wan to help them.

This one is also pretty positive about Anakin in that it talks a lot about how Luke and Leia are going to save him by reminding him of how to love and things like that. I'm leaving it in here because it is also set post Order 66 and does reckon with the impact of that, especially on Rex who is finding out this betrayal for the first time, so it's hard not to end up at least a little critical just naturally. Anakin has done some particularly heinous shit and is still DOING some heinous shit. That remains true whether he can be saved in the future or not, whether he used to know how to love selflessly or not. I particularly like the structure in this one, the way it bounces back and forth between Obi-Wan's perspective with Leia and Rex's perspective with Luke. I like the way that Luke and Leia land sort-of wiser than their years due to their stronger connection to the Force but also still very much children who get impatient and annoyed with the adults around them.

scraps series by grumpyhedgehogs (critical, 9.5k):

Cody's chip fails when Obi-Wan dies on the Death Star and he goes searching for Rex and the Rebellion. He deals with his grief and guilt along the way.

Cody isn't Anakin's biggest fan, obviously, but both he and Rex acknowledge that Anakin USED to be a better person. The focus of the story is on Cody's relationship with Obi-Wan and how, even after he's died, that relationship still helps Cody move forward from his grief and find some measure of peace. I like the way Cody, Rex, and Ahsoka all connect over the different ways Obi-Wan had meant something to them and the ways he impacted their lives.

may you inherit his light by notbecauseofvictories (critical, 2.5k):

Leia reflects on her relationship to Bail Organa and the impact of his loss in the years after ROTJ.

Leia is also not Anakin Skywalker's biggest fan and dislikes that she inherited anything from him. I appreciated that Leia never forgave him in this. Even in the moment where she claims to wish he showed up, it's so she can rage at him for being the reason she ISN'T Bail Organa's daughter instead. It's a heart-wrenching story and dive into Leia's character, the ways her life at constant war have defined her as well as her experience as an adopted child who wanted nothing more than to have something physical to connect her to the family she loved and to make them proud. Mon Mothma saying Leia reminded her of Bail about made me cry.

Thank the Gods, I'm Not Alone by BitterChocolateStars (critical, 16k):

Obi-Wan and Rex from ten years post Order 66 both get sent back in time to the Clone Wars and work together to make sure it doesn't happen a second time.

Since Obi-Wan and Rex are primarily dealing with an Anakin who HASN'T betrayed the Jedi and the clones yet (depending on whether you count his marriage to Padme and his murder of the Tuskens a betrayal of the Jedi or not), they both have to figure out how to forgive this version of him that hasn't committed the crime they're angry about yet. He's the same person who DID go down that path before, but circumstances change enough to make different choices this time around. I appreciated the acknowledgment that it's okay to choose not to forgive the version of Anakin that DID make those choices, even as they recognize that it's not fair to hold this version of Anakin accountable for things he didn't do.

Gentle Welcome by Miandraden1 (critical, 1k):

Short and soft post-Rako Hardeen one shot where Obi-Wan reflects on Anakin's reaction to his stint undercover but gains comfort from the people who understand.

I love Obi-Wan discussing his worries about Anakin with Mace, it's such a nice call back to AOTC where he was more explicitly pushing back against the Council's decisions and had less faith in Anakin, whereas here he's so clearly trying to continue to have faith in Anakin's ability to grow and learn, even as he can tell Anakin's struggling. There's no lack of acknowledgment of Anakin's continued struggles, but there is a choice to continue to believe in him. I love how sweet the clones are in how they react to the Rako Hardeen deception, in some ways this is just another Tuesday for them, but Waxer explicitly leaving Obi-Wan a little gift he knows he'll like says something slightly different and it's adorable.

The Temple of Hope series by Zarz (ongoing, critical, 93k):

Obi-Wan, Anakin, and their battalions stumble across a very old Jedi Temple that reveals certain truths about both the Jedi and the clones and changes everything.

This one is also mostly about just forcing Anakin to face his own truths and fears while everybody else gets to make their way to a happy fix-it AU as a result. One of the tags on the first fic is "anakin skywalker faces consequences" but the primary consequence is just Anakin feeling bad about what he's done more than anything else. It's overall a sweet, soft, Force-sensitive Clones!AU with a lot of pro Jedi vibes to it.

"... if you remain his student" by Peppermint_Shamrock (critical, 4k):

The Wrong Jedi arc doesn't happen which leaves Ahsoka at the Temple during Order 66 and she was never going to be enough to save or stop Anakin.

To be perfectly honest at this point, this is the ending I'd have wanted for Ahsoka. It wouldn't have been able to happen in canon given she's not in ROTS, but like... this is probably one of the most impactful ways for her story to have ended (and one of the kindest, given how shitty her character has become). I love the way this fic insists that Ahsoka isn't enough, any more than Padme or Obi-Wan were, he'd have cut her down the same he did the others, no matter what he might have felt for her once or what she believed he felt for her.

Reversi by LacieFuyu (critical, 2.5k):

Anakin and Obi-Wan's roles are reversed in the Rako Hardeen arc and Anakin is startled by everyone's reactions to his deception.

This is yet another one that is critical by comparison to canon. Even Anakin himself acknowledges by the end of the fic that he's pretty sure he wouldn't be reacting this compassionately and calmly and reasonably if their positions were reversed, something we know to be true. There's also a small moment where Anakin begins to doubt his choices regarding the Tusken Massacre, but instead of actually reflecting on it, he buries the feeling all over again and chooses to learn nothing. It's very in character for Anakin.

#star wars #anti anakin #anti anakin skywalker #anakin critical #anakin skywalker critical #jedi #pro jedi #jedi culture respected #jedi appreciation #jedi culture appreciated #pro jedi council #jedi council respected #jedi council appreciated #fic #fic rec #anti anakin fic rec series

[fbczine]

Before we open contributor applications, the mods would like to answer questions raised through responses from the Interest Check and expand upon our carrd’s guidelines/FAQ.

If you are potentially considering applying for the zine as a contributor, please take the time to look over this post and read the carrd. 

Zine’s Themes: 

For our second zine, we decided to have a centralized theme for the overall project: investigation. Solving mysteries, puzzles, and problems are key elements of Remedy games. All pieces featured within the zine will focus on these ideas. 

The Oceanview is a connecting point between the Alan Wake and Control universes. It is a place of power individuals pass through on their way to somewhere else, so it’s had many guests over the years. However, pitches for the zine do not have to feature the Oceanview, they can involve different settings featured or referenced in these games, excluding the Oldest House. 

Interest Check Feedback

During the interest check, we received several common questions we would like to address:

Can we submit pitches related to Alan Wake? 

Yes, as both Alan Wake and Control both fall under the Remedy-verse, we want the zine to have a diverse spread of content featuring characters and themes from both games. 

Are Alan Wake 2 spoilers allowed? 

The zine will release a year after the first game, so we will be allowing content featuring spoilers. All pieces with spoilers will have a warning tag in the zine’s table of contents, allowing consumers to pick and choose what content to enjoy. 

Are meta/theory-crafting pitches allowed? 

No, the zine will only be featuring fanart and fanfiction. 

What about lore related documents such as dossiers/letters/case files etc? 

Yes. As with our previous zine, in-universe documentation is welcome so long as it fits the zine’s themes and criteria. 

Can I submit something which has already been posted to social media? 

No, all contributors must submit a new, original piece of content never shared before. 

Is there any specific content which will not be allowed in the zine? 

We will not be accepting typewritten, out of context manuscript pages. If a typewritten manuscript page from Alan happens to be one part of your overall story, that’s fine. 

No pieces featuring places found within the Oldest House. As much as we love the Astral Plane, the Quarry, and the Clocks Threshold, we want the zine to feature many of the other interesting settings within this universe!

All art pieces must be polished lineart or equivalent. We will not accept sketches. 

Pitch Process 

Please do NOT submit pitches that state “I’ll draw/write anything” – these will be automatically rejected. 

Please submit three detailed pitches. Include any characters or ships featured in the piece along with the general idea. Give us the elevator pitch.  

If you’re pitching a piece featuring shipping content, please state the overall plot of the piece. The mods will not be accepting stories that do not take into account the zine’s investigative themes. 

All art pieces will need to have a background. No negative white space will be allowed. 

The mods will be trying to diversify the zine’s content through the provided pitches. Of your three pitches, the mods will select what pitch to move forward with based on the zine’s tentative content spread, so please make sure these pitches are something you are passionate about and willing to create. 

Collaboration and the Creation Process

Remedy fans are a passionate bunch. Love for these games is shown in each and every creative work. And just like Remedy collaborates to bring us these amazing games, we are looking for that same dedication for the Oceanview Guestbook zine. 

We would like each of our applicants to feel comfortable collaborating with both the mods as well as their fellow contributors. We will be encouraging contributors to share WIPs with each other through more organized check-ins to receive feedback. With each phase of the creation process, the mods will provide detailed feedback and constructive critique with each individual contributor. 

Our primary mode of communication will be through Discord. The mods will be available should contributors need any assistance, to communicate any unforeseen circumstances, or to answer questions which may arise throughout the creation process. 

Final Notes

The mods are fans of the Remedy universe and love the games. We want to talk and create with fellow fans. This project is for the community, and we can’t underscore that enough. This is why our previous and next zine are digital and free. We don’t want to hide the fanworks behind a paywall. This unofficial project is made for fans by fans as a labor of love. 

We hope you’ll join us on this journey!

– The Admin Team

#control #control 2019 #remedy control #alan wake #alan wake 2 #remedy entertainment #video game zine #zine #fanzine #fbc zine #mod post #fbc zine 2024 #fbc zine faq

[damn-stark]

Chapter 9 Hearing damage

Chapter 9 of Sugar

A/N- BUTTERFLY EFFECT!!

Warning- Swearing, fluff, ANGST!!! Death, spoilers, long chapter, and Naoya Zen’in

Pairing- Suguru Geto x Gojo!fem-reader, (future) Choso x fem!reader

Episode- 2x05

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

It all circles back to the same thing, doesn’t it? Your lack of strength, every single time.

This time though it led to someone’s death. You’ve never actually experienced grief before, you came close but you denied it and thankfully it didn’t become a reality. This time though it’s real.

Haibara is dead because of you, because they couldn’t identify the curse right, and sent teenagers to kill curses. You could blame them; the school, the higher-ups, every person in authority who doesn’t take in account that you’re only children, but…that’s only one miniscule part of the truth. If you were stronger your friend would be alive. Now he’ll never smile again, now you’ll never see him around campus again, or go with him on missions, now he’ll never get to see another day.

“It was supposed to be an easy mission to exterminate a second-grade cursed spirit!” Nanami interjects to try and grasp what happened, while he also explains things to Suguru who stands across from you watching Haibara’s lifeless body.

You still can’t grasp what happened either, it plays over and over in your head, but you can’t—you don’t want to accept what you see, what happened.

You can’t even talk about it like Nanami, you can’t talk at all actually. Ever since you left that place you’ve been unable to speak a word, and when you got home that stayed the same even as you embraced Shoko. You just cried into each other's shoulders, but that’s all.

Nanami on the other hand, he’s loud, he’s angry and it’s off-putting since he never expresses himself that way. It’s why when he throws the stool to the metal doors on the wall, you gasp softly.

“Damn it!” He exclaims.

“Their faith in Ubusunagami,” he adds. “That was a local deity. That was a first-grade case!”

Your eyes fill with tears at the sound of the comment as you feel another pang of guilt.

“You need to rest now, Nanami,” Suguru interjects calmly. “Satoru says y/n took care of the curse.”

Not like it helped, Haibara’s still dead.

“Why can’t we just leave everything up to him alone at this point?” Nanami mutters through his exhaustion.

Suguru pulls the sheet over Haibara’s torso, leaving his face exposed, and making your breath shutter.

You try to reach over to caress his cheek, to say one last goodbye before he lives on in your memories for the rest of your life. But as you raise your hand you see that it’s trembling so you clench it into a fist and pull back, instead, you let tears escape out of your eyes.

You want to speak too, but nothing but a small breath comes out. There aren't enough apologies you could ever mutter for this…pain or guilt to ever go away. You’ll always carry it with you for as long as you live.

“Y/N,” Suguru whispers. “You need to go rest too. Come on, I’ll take you.” He walks around the table to try and reach you, but just as his hand brushes over your arm you pull away and storm out of the room with tears rolling down your cheeks.

You try to reach your room, but the truth is you don’t make it that far before the pain crashes over you, sweeping you off your feet and taking you under. You had held back this long feeling only a lingering effect as your mind and your heart tried to reject the truth, but you just saw it in the face and it’s torture.

You’ll never see him again. Never.

And it’s true you planned to leave after graduating, but these bonds you made with your friends are eternal. You wanted to still be in touch, you still wanted to hang out, you wanted to make sure his life was okay. But now you never will—

But why? Why him?

Why not you? Why him?

“I’m sorry,” you mutter as you let yourself fall on some patch of grass. You don't know where you can’t look up to figure it out, and all you know is that you didn’t make it to your dorm.

Now those tears that came down scattered, soak your cheeks, and memories torture your mind. All you want now is Satoru, just him sitting next to you would be fine, but he’s not home, he’s gone. So you sit alone and cry.

You don’t know how long, minutes perhaps, hours, but it felt eternal before finally you’re snapped from your stupor by the sound of Nanami’s voice.

“Y/N, you should be resting, you took quite a few hits.”

You lift your head off your knees and wipe the tears away before you look up at his own red eyes. “I healed,” you mumble. “But you? How are you feeling?”

Nanami sighs and surprises you by sitting down next to you on the ground. “Physically I’m fine,” he mutters and loses his eyes on nothing in-particular ahead. “Shoko healed me.”

You nod in comprehension and look ahead to mutter, “I’m sorry. You’re right I’m meant to be strong and I wasn’t. If I was he’d be alive, but,” you sob. “My family is right, I don’t deserve my rank, or my technique. I’m weak and I’m sorry.”

Nanami lets out a deep breath and stays quiet for a moment, letting your sobs fill the tension. You don’t think he’ll speak up, you know he’ll accept your blame. But he interjects quietly.

“I was too harsh on you,” he surprises you by saying. “I know you’re not like your brother, but I kept comparing you to him and I’m sorry.”

You sniffle and blink to look at him with disbelief.

“It’s not your fault,” he says and slowly meets your gaze. “It’s not anyone’s fault but the people that assigned it to us. Do you understand?”

You sigh and hesitate before you nod softly.

“Hm,” Nanami hums and drops his gaze. “It’s not your fault, all right?”

You don’t believe that to be true, but it does assure you. “All right,” you whisper. “And it’s not yours either. You fought well, Nanami.”

His eyes flicker up and he nods softly as he takes the compliment.

“You did too,” he later redirects very quietly. “I…was impressed.”

You offer him a small smile before you throw your arms around his neck and pull him close. Nanami seems surprised by your action, but after he grasps it he slowly returns your embrace very gently.

“I’m glad you’re here, Nanami,” you whisper shakily. “I'm glad our paths crossed.”

There’s a moment of silence that follows before there’s a response. “Yeah, me too.”

You draw in a deep breath and nod softly. “Everything’s going to be okay,” you assure him as you think about the choice you made over the offer Yuki made you.

After she helps you you’ll be the person Haibara needed, the person you want to be. Everything will be okay then. You’ll make sure of that.

——

*LATER*

“Hello?”

Tears run down your cheeks, but slight relief fills your heart. “Satoru,” you greet softly.

He sighs through the phone before he answers a lot softer than before. “I’m sorry I didn’t answer before, I was caught up with work here.”

You nod as if he could see and drift the subject to what you need from him. “When are you coming home?” You whisper shakily.

Satoru stays quiet for a moment before you hear shifting, and then an answer. “Look, I'm sorry, okay? I'm stuck with back-to-back work here. But I’ll try and finish as fast as I can, okay? I heard what happened and I'm sorry…just hang out with Suguru or Shoko until then okay?”

The relief disappears at his comment, and your agony heightens again. All you wanted was one person since the other doesn’t want to be with you anymore, but now that one person can’t be with you either.

“Okay,” you mutter. “Bye Satoru…take care.”

“You too, I’ll call you tomorrow,” he says.

You hum in agreement and hang up the phone.

You've hurt before, but this pain is different than before. Because before at least some deep part of you knew you’d make it out, but this time you’re not so sure. You don’t know if you can make it past this loss.

How do people move on? Because as far as you can see it’s all so bleak. There’s no light at the end of the tunnel, no hope. At least not while being here.

Nevertheless, amidst your never-endless thoughts a light knock raps on the door.

It must be Shoko, so you slide yourself to the edge of your bed to try and welcome the visitor, but the door opens and you see that it’s not in fact Shoko, but Suguru.

“I just came to check on you,” he says as he closes the door behind him. “Is that okay?”

Where there was darkness once before, now there’s a shining light.

You don’t answer him though, you get off the bed and quickly walk over to him to throw your arms around him. Suguru seems to be caught off guard most likely because you rejected his attempts at comfort before.

“Suguru,” you cry softly into his chest.

He wraps his arms around you tightly and gives you a soft squeeze. “I’m sorry,” he mutters. He then slides his hand up and caresses the back of your head before he lays his chin on your head.

You proceed to squeeze him and draw in a deep relieved breath of air, taking in his scent that brings you even more comfort. When you exhale you pull back and meet his gaze to interject. “Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?” You query.

Without hesitation Suguru nods before he grabs your hand and pulls you to your bed.

“Have you ate?” He asks as you lay down.

You nod softly. “A bit a little bit ago. But I’m not hungry. Have you?” You ask as you watch him lie down beside you.

Suguru turns his head and looks at you with a very faint assuring smile. “Yeah, don’t worry about me.”

You sigh with disappointment, but you don't protest, instead, you pull your blanket up to your chin and lose your gaze ahead. “If I was faster,” you cut in. “If I was stronger I-I could’ve helped him. But I wasn’t either and now he’s gone.” You whimper and hide your face on your pillow.

“Y/N,” Suguru whispers. “It’s not your fault. There’s nothing you could’ve done. You were stuck too, so don’t blame yourself, please. Just try and get some sleep, okay?”

There’s nothing that could be said that can convince you otherwise right now, so you let it go instead, and close your eyes to try and do what he said, making sure he stayed there and didn’t leave before you could lose yourself in the darkness slumber brings.

However, sleep doesn’t take you under, no matter how you turn, or if he’s at your side. So after a while of tossing and turning you peel your eyes open and lift them, noticing Suguru is already watching you. When he catches your gaze he huffs softly and looks away.

“That’s kind of creepy,” you point out with a soft laugh. “Especially because you’re my ex.”

Suguru rolls his eyes and huffs. “You asked me to stay here, so I think your comment can’t stand,” he counters.

“Still,” you rebuttal. “It’s creepy, It’s okay though. I’d watch you sleep all the time.”

Suguru scoffs softly, and his lips twitch to a very short smile. You on the other hand lose your smile and sigh sadly. If you don’t ask now then your mind will just continue to play what happened, you’ll just torture yourself with guilt so you need to distract yourself. Albeit your distraction isn’t anything lighthearted either.

“Why?” You croak. “Why did you break up with me? And don’t give me some bullshit excuse. Just talk to me, we promised we’d be honest with each other didn’t we?”

Suguru drops his gaze and his face hardens.

You sit up and grab his jaw to turn his head so he can look at you.

“Tell me,” you plead. “If there’s something wrong tell me. And if it’s something as simple as the fact that you don’t love me anymore then tell me that too,” you reveal quietly, making his eyes narrow and a huff of air escape past his nose.

“I,” he mutters, making you hold in a deep breath as you wait. “Don’t know who I am,” he says and looks away. “There’s this person within me that I don’t know. It scares me but not in the way that I want it gone, it intrigues me, and that’s why I hate it. And I know that if I tell you, you’ll hate me, everyone will.”

“Suguru,” you whisper and slide your hands down to grab his arm. “I could never hate you. No matter what, I love you. Just tell me okay, be honest.”

Suguru blinks and looks at you with a watery gaze. “I can’t,” he mutters. “I can’t tell you. You’re so sure of yourself, so headstrong that if I tell you, the way you look at me will change.”

You shake your head and slide your hands down to grab his arm. “You can’t know that if you don’t tell me,” you interject. “Talk to me, Suguru, that’s all I ask.”

“Y/N—”

“Suguru,” you cut him off as you sense him trying to get around it. “I love you, no matter what you say, no matter what you do I love you, okay? And if you don’t love me then I will still love you, just talk to me.”

Suguru scoffs. “It’s not that,” he says softly. “I love you. I do…”

Relief washes over you at the sound of his words, and that fear that plagued your thoughts finally vanishes.

“That’s why I let you go because I don't want you to be dragged with me, you don’t deserve that,” he quivers. “You’ve been through so much, I can’t be the cause of more of your pain.”

You shake your head and tilt it softly so you can meet his gaze. “Talk to me,” you assure him. “Just let me listen.”

Suguru swallows thickly and averts his gaze before he parts his lips. “Ever since Satoru recovered Riko’s body, since I lost to Toji, the value of non-sorcerers has been wavering in my mind,” he pauses and his eyes flicker to you as if to see if you’d react badly. “The admirability of the weak…the ugliness of the weak. I find myself struggling to discern the differences and accept those things. There’s a part of me that despises non-sorcerers, and a part of me that wants to reject that part. My vision for what lies at the end of the marathon game, of being a Jujutsu sorcerer, is so vague now that I can’t tell which represents how I feel.” He breathes out as if he is exhausted and looks at you in a way you never thought possible.

He's always been so strong, physically and mentally that you never thought he’d break, but here he is looking at you completely broken and asking for help.

“Do you understand?” He asks. “It’s okay if you don’t like what you hear, if you hate it that’s okay too.”

You exhale deeply and grab his hand to cup it and pull it against your chest. When he feels your warmth and the soft touch, he meets your gaze again.

“Suguru, I don’t hate it,” you assure him. “I don’t hate you for the way you think. I mean you do know me, right? I’m not a saint, I have my thoughts on non-sorcerers. I don’t like them. And now that Haibara died because of a curse…all my hope to find a path to value them again is lost. So,” you swallow thickly and lean in to cup his jaw. “I could never judge you. Who would I be if I did?”

Suguru lets out a small breath and you see his face lose some of that worry and that agony it held. Yet his eyes still hold pain as he reaches over to grab your hand that you have on his cheek.

“How did you choose?” He asks. “How did you become okay with it?”

You sigh and sit back. “Well,” you say as you carefully think about what you want to say. “I can’t say I struggled much. I come from a world that doesn’t much value non-sorcerers in the first place, you know. I rebelled against that as I grew, I wanted to be unlike the family that raised me, but after,” you pause and blink as you remember the bad memories.

“…after that day happened,” you continue and lower your gaze. “I couldn’t find it in me to value them. And I knew it was wrong, it was selfish, but then I thought about what I hate…if I pretended to like them then I would be the person I hate; a fake person who goes flaunting who they’re not, a two-faced. And I already disliked so much about myself, but I couldn’t hate myself, that’s the one thing I promised myself I wouldn't do, so I chose to accept it,” you finish and then study him.

Suguru doesn’t look assured, or resolved. You never thought that would heal him either, so you softly add on the truth you feel.

“Look Suguru, I can’t give you a clear answer on what you should pick. That’s something you’ll decide, but I do know one thing. We weren’t put on this earth to cater to non-sorcerers, we aren’t their saviors. The world would be a much better place already, don’t you think?” You huff softly and slide your hands down to his neck. “But if you want a purpose in your life for it to make sense then live for yourself, Suguru. Mourn the person you were and celebrate the new person that’s inside, that’s how you move on.” You scoff and shake your head.

“I don’t know if that made any sense,” you mumble but it makes sense in my head—anyway,” you scoff nervously. “Hate them if you want, go back to liking them, just know that you can’t go back to who you were. Move on, it’s okay, it’s life. We make mistakes and learn from them over and over again. Just know I will accept whoever comes out of the ashes.” You finish and offer him an assuring smile.

Suguru draws in a deep breath as he nods and exhales shakily, letting his watery eyes soften. You can’t hold back anymore and wrap your arms around him to pull him against you. He sighs deeply as he returns your embrace and rests his head against your chest before he cries.

He’s not loud, but you feel his shoulders shake, and your shirt begins to grow moist, so you rub his back and kiss the top of his head for comfort as you let him be in the embrace for as long as he needs.

After a while, when your legs ache for the way you’re sitting, he pulls back and faces you with a soft look. “Thank you,” he whispers. “For listening, for trying to help, I appreciate it, and I’m sorry I couldn’t find it in myself to tell you from the beginning, I should have.”

“I’m sorry if you ever felt like you couldn’t trust me with truth,” you counter him.

Suguru shakes his head. “No, I was just ashamed of my thoughts, that’s all. I didn’t want you to hate me, anyone but you.”

You scoff and look down to smile bashfully.

“I love you,” he says, making you snap your eyes up and look at him with disbelief as if he hadn’t said it moments ago. “More than anything.”

Your breath catches and your smile shakes. “I love you too,” you whisper, and quickly press your forehead against his.

Suguru lifts his hand and caresses your cheek, making you lay your head on his shoulder as you cling your arm and leg around him. He laughs softly and hooks his arm around your neck before he lowers his head to press a gentle kiss on your head.

The pain of grief is still there, but there’s light again and the agony and gape Suguru left is gone.

Or…is it?

“We are back together right?” You probe. “Or else this is very wrong.”

Suguru lets out a breathless laugh and rests his head on the top of yours. “Yeah, if you’ll take me back of course. I was a jerk.”

You scoff. “Yeah, you were, but it’s all forgiven. I missed you.”

“Yeah, I missed you too,” he whispers.

You smile softly and hold onto him tighter. Now through the silence that builds the sleep you lacked before begins to lull you. However, Suguru breaks it as your eyes are getting heavy.

“I’m going on a mission tomorrow morning. I’ll be gone for an entire day, maybe?” He reveals. “I don’t know, but I am going close to where I lived.”

You smile slightly. “I should go with you, help you, and see your parents. They do love me.”

“They do,” he agrees. “But you should rest. Perhaps we can ask to get assigned together next time.”

You yawn and nod. “Yeah, that’d be great. Me and you on a mission would be awesome. We work great together.”

Suguru hums in agreement and then moves you both down to get more comfortable in your bed without letting you go.

“Maybe,” you mumble. “You should let your hair down more, Sugar. I loved it like that the other day.”

“Hmph, I thought you were mad at me.”

You giggle. “I was, but you tempted me.”

“Okay,” he mutters in a lighthearted tone. “But,” his tone shifts. “What’s the offer Tsukumo was talking about?”

You open your eyes and shift before you're honest. “She offered to train me after I graduate, or now. I’d be her pupil for I don’t know how long.”

He stays quiet for a moment before he asks the inevitable. “Are you going to accept it?”

You exhale deeply and close your eyes again. “Yeah, after what happened, I am. I don’t want to lose again. I just don't know when yet.”

You were ready to leave before, but after talking things out with him that question is up in the air again.

“That’s okay, right? That I accept her offer?” You inquire.

Suguru scoffs. “I'm not going to protest. If it’s what you want then go for it…it’s Satoru who will have something to say.”

You open your eyes to roll them while you retort. “He always does. Not like it matters, it’s my choice. And I’m not leaving yet. So whatever.”

“So when were you thinking of leaving?” He probes quietly.

You shrug. “I don’t know, but just know I’m not leaving you behind anytime soon so don’t worry.”

“You don’t have to stop because of me—”

“I know,” you cut him off. “But it’s you and me, yeah?” You ask and pull your head back to face him. “Besides I want to stay with you, I want to be here when you know who you want to be.”

Suguru hums softly in comprehension and tightens his hold around you before he leans down and steals a gentle kiss from your lips. You smile softly and steal a deeper kiss that you linger in for a moment as you cherish the fact that he’s here, that he’s always with you when you need someone the most. When your brother never can be. That’s one reason why you love Suguru, he’s always here for you first, he’s never late and he doesn’t come after the fact. He’s always here first.

It’s why you don’t want to let him go. It’s why even now you lay your head on his chest and hold him tight so he won’t leave. He eventually will of course, but for now it’s just you and him in the silence and the comfort you bring each other until you both end up falling asleep in each other's arms.

——

*TWO DAYS LATER*

“Okay, close your eyes,” you drag out and set the playing card down.

Shoko sighs and does as you ask, letting you think of a number, but hold up a nothing.

“Okay now how many fingers am I holding up,” you tell her.

She hums softly before she parts her lips, “6.”

You aren’t holding anything up, but that’s the number you were thinking. “Oh my god!” You exclaim excitedly. “No but that’s the number I was actually thinking about!”

Shoko opens her eyes and smiles slightly. “Really?” She asks.

You nod and giggle.

“Okay so what number were you holding up really?” She asks as she picks her cards up to peek at them.

You pick up your cards and shake your head. “None.”

Shoko groans. “I knew you'd pull some shit like that,” she grumbles.

You flash her a smile and then blink to look at the first-year sitting at the side of the table. “Ijichi,” you announce sweetly. “You’re starting us off.”

Said guy blinks nervously even though it’s been like what? A couple of months since he’s lived here?

“Really?” He asks. “I just thought you’d always start off since you are the eldest.”

Shoko glances around the room to make sure none of the adults are nearby before she pulls out a cigarette. And now without needing to be told you put your finger up and make a fire light over your finger. Shoko leans in and lights her stick before she sits back and rests her legs on your lap.

“Don’t be silly,” you pat his shoulder. “Fair game.”

“Until we play with alcohol,” Shoko comments, making Ijichi’s eyes widen behind his glasses.

“Oh my god,” you gasp and look at your best friend. “We should play with alcohol now!” You exclaim and hit the table. “I’m totally free tomorrow so we can stay up! I have a bottle in my room.”

“Maybe we shouldn't, we’ll get in trouble,” Ijichi stammers.

You put your cards down and push Shoko’s legs off your lap to stand up. “Ugh, don’t worry Ijichi!” You assure him and hit his shoulder. “I’ll take the blame if it happens, after all they can’t kick me out.”

“Perhaps not, but they can kick us out,” he grumbles.

You roll your eyes lightheartedly and then hear your phone ring. When you pull it out you see that it’s Suguru, so you grin and quickly run out of the parlor room to answer.

“Hello!” You greet happily. “Suguru, are you done with your mission? Are you okay?”

Suguru sighs deeply before he responds. “Yeah, darling, I’m fine. I’m sorry I couldn’t reach out earlier.”

You lean back and shake your head. “It doesn’t matter. You’re fine and calling now that’s all that matters. Are you on your way home?”

“No, not yet,” he huffs softly and you can hear his soft smile through the phone. “What are you doing? I hope I didn’t wake you.”

You scoff and shake your head. “No, not at all, Shoko and I are here bothering—no sorry, bonding with the first year,” you laugh softly. “He’s a good guy, and a good distraction…I haven’t thought about Haibara.”

“That’s good,” he says and clears his throat. “Uh, have you gotten assigned to any missions tomorrow?”

You quickly answer as you know it from the top of your head, “no, that’s why we’re still up. Why?”

“I want to meet up at the cafe we like to go to,” he reveals. “Like maybe around 8 in the morning? Is that okay?”

You blink in confusion and push yourself off the wall. “Did you get assigned to another mission already?” You ask curiously.

“No, no, I just want to see you,” he says. “I want to talk to you.”

Your heart skips a beat as you suddenly feel something's off. “Okay…yeah 8 is fine.”

“Good,” he sighs in relief. “That’s all I needed to tell you for now. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? I love you.”

Your lips pull to a smile and you don’t hesitate to say it back. “I love you too.”

“Goodnight, Firefly,” he says, a nickname he hasn’t spoken in a long while, and rather than worrying you, it assures you of that sudden worry that flickered in your heart.

Albeit you still don’t really like that stupid nickname. “Tsk, goodnight, Suguru.”

He laughs. Suguru laughs for the first time in a long time. It’s not breathless, forced, or shared just to be nice, he genuinely laughs, and that works to swell your heart with warmth and joy.

It’s why you don’t question why a day's mission turned to two, why he wanted to meet up with you the next day outside of school instead of coming home. You’re actually so eager to go see him early in the morning that you can hardly contain your excitement whilst you’re trying to go sleep later that night.

When you get up you get all dolled, and honestly, it’s a healthy distraction from what plagues your mind as of late. Of course, the thoughts of Haibara’s death linger, they get you down without a fault, but looking forward to going on this small date with Suguru gets your hopes up and also takes away from the fact that you miss your brother right now more than ever.

Nevertheless, of course, there’s a wrench in the road in the shape of Yaga.

You would have brushed him off, told him to wait on giving you whatever assignment he had for Nanami and you, but the moment that you walk out of your dorms you notice the sullen look on his face. You see how stiff his shoulders are, and how tight his fist is. So you actually question his well-being. After all, out of all the adults in this school, he’s the only one you actually like.

“What’s wrong, Yaga?”

He clenches his jaw and lets out a deep breath before stepping aside and showing an empty path. You’re about to question him, but you then hear multiple footsteps approaching from under the hill.

“What is it?” You ask again since you got no answer.

Alas, before you could press him further you see why he’s expressing such a mysterious energy, it’s your parents. Your older cousins, the triplets, trail behind them, along with other members of your family.

What once was excitement to see your boyfriend now turned sour at the sight of your family.

“What is this?” You ask with a nervous laugh and step back as you know nothing good is coming from this family reunion. “Yaga?” You look over at him with worry and can’t help but ask the one thing that could change the emotions already rising within you. “Is it Satoru? Is he okay?”

“Yes,” Yaga finally breaks his silence.

You blink and narrow your gaze on your parents. “Then what’s happening here? Why are you here?”

Your mother scoffs in disgust at your disrespectful greeting.

“It’s Geto,” Yaga interjects, making you turn to face him with fear. “When he was out on his mission he ended up killing the entire village and…his own parents. He’s defected….”

Is that—What?

You blink repeatedly in disbelief and shake your head. “That’s not true,” you mumble even though slowly your mind is wrapping around the idea that it is. After all, it was only a few days ago when he said the thoughts that have been tormenting him regarding non-sorcerers.

So the question lies in why he’d do it. What was the reason?

Is that why he asked you to meet up today? Is he going to tell you what happened?

“It is,” Yaga reaffirms the news. “I wish it wasn’t but he did it and now he’s a wanted man, so we ask this now, have you come in contact with Geto?”

You lift your eyes and meet his gaze not hidden behind his shades, and without hesitation, you shake your head and lie. “No. He hasn’t called me or answered my texts.”

You can’t say you feel horrified by what you heard. It didn’t even cross your mind like it should have. Suguru killing those people doesn’t disturb you, or change the way you see him. You still swoon over him, you still burn for him, and your heart still skips a beat at the mention of his name. Is it a bad thing?

Not to you. No matter what they say, or what they’ll say, in your eyes he’s still your whole world. So if hating non-sorcerers is the truth he chose to follow, if that’s who rose from the ashes then you accept him. After all, you don’t care for non-sorcerers, they could die for all you care. What has your mind spinning though, is worry.

He beat himself up over not knowing what he truly felt, what if he regrets what he did? He’d never recover.

“Where are you off to then?” Your mother asks. “You’re not in your uniform, it’s early.”

You shrug. “I was going to grab coffee,” you actually say truthfully because that was the truth. “And anytime I have to be in my casual clothes I take it.”

“Don’t lie for that boy, daughter,” your father interjects. “Don’t bring shame to your family. Tell us if you've talked to him.”

You raise your chin and look him in the eye. “I have not talked to him. But I can. Let me talk to him, there has to be a reason as to why he did this,” you suggest. “If he’ll talk to anyone it's me.”

“No,” your mother quickly snaps. “Satoru will handle that. You will not go near that criminal.”

Of course, they’re here to forbid you from seeing him now. Not surprising, what is though, is what they expect. They really don’t know their own son if they think he’ll handle Suguru.

“Suguru is Satoru’s best friend,” you tell them almost smugly. “You’re expecting too much from him. He won’t do it.” You look at Yaga knowing they'll give your brother the impossible assignment. “Don’t make him do it.”

Your father scoffs and rebuttals. “Your brother knows how to handle his emotions, he’ll put his work before his heart like he was taught to do. He’s strong, not weak,” he throws at you making you roll your eyes.

“Fine,” you mumble and turn. “If that’s all you want to say then I’m going back to my room. I have training to get to.”

Nevertheless, they stop you.

“No,” your mother says. “You’re coming home.”

You peer back and shake your head. “No. Not yet. I’m going to talk to Suguru.”

Your mother steps forward and you catch Yaga look away. “He’ll only cloud your mind with his beliefs and turn you against us. What will everyone say?”

They don’t even care to hide that all they care about is what people will think. They don’t care about your well-being.

Not like he’d hurt you, or let anyone or anything hurt you.

But it still hurts that they think the worst of you.

“I don’t care what everyone thinks,” you counter quietly, and look away to head back to your room to text Suguru that you can’t go right now.

However, as you take a step forward out of a sudden there are multiple voices and a tight pressure in your head. “Stop. Stop. Stop.”

You can’t move a muscle and you immediately know why, it’s the Mind Hypnosis Cursed Technique of the triplets. That’s why they’re here, this was their plan all along, take you to prevent you from leaving.

“Leave me alone,” you strain to say and try to fight off their control, but it’s hard when the triplets are together. If it was just one or two of them here it’d be easy. Their technique only works if the three of them are together, otherwise, it’s like a fleeting thought or nothing at all. Of course for people like Satoru, who have strong minds, their technique won’t work, but for you, it’s a different story. They know that.

“We’re going home. We’re going home. We’re going home,” their voices echo in your head, and the harder you try to fight them the more you begin to tire yourself out.

“You can’t do this,” you mutter and turn around against your own will. “I live here. Yaga,” you plead him for help.

However, he just lowers his head and avoids looking at you.

“Let’s go home,” your mother says while she walks over to put a technique blocker around your neck and your hands, so you won’t fight back with your technique. The other members of your family then surround you so you won’t run and they all guide you away without another word.

Before you walk down the hill you look back and see Shoko walk out of the dorms and look immediately confused at what’s unfolded. She even looks like she’s going to come after you, but Yaga stops her and she doesn’t fight back. You don’t blame her for that though, you offer her an assuring smile and then look at Yaga with disappointment and betrayal.

He doesn’t look away this time so you keep your eyes on him until you can no longer see him, until all you see is your damned family as they escort you away.

You hoped Satoru would somehow call to protest, that he’d appear and stop them, but of course, he doesn’t show up, he doesn’t call or text. Even if he did you wouldn't know, your mother took your phone away as if you were some pubescent teen. And your family of course came when your brother wasn’t here and when they knew he wouldn’t show up at that moment. Knowing them he doesn’t even know they came to get you, he’ll know when it’s too late. Like always.

And yet even if he never came in time when your parents tortured you in some way, you still wait for him full of hope. This time you waited for three days for him.

He came at night and no one bothered to tell you. Not like they actually would since they don’t want you to leave. You only caught him because you were on your way to grab something to eat.

There’s no way you’d actually walk in while your parents were talking to him, they’d make sure to leave the room to talk in private, so you hide and eavesdrop.

“Did you do it?” You hear your father ask.

There’s a few seconds of silence before you hear your brother answer. “No.”

It’s not hard to guess that they’re referring to Suguru.

“It was always a heavy burden, and not one you should’ve been assigned to ” your mother assures him. Because of course she does, but if it was you you’d be called names and shamed for not completing that task.

“I only hope you don’t regret your insolence Satoru,” your father scolds him, but not hard enough to actually shame him in any way.

“If I do, I'll take care of it,” Satoru mumbles coldly. “Now I’m going to get her so we can get home.”

You smile softly and take a step back to try and run back to your room. Yet you stop when you hear your mother protest. “No, she’s not going anywhere…”

You swallow back nervously and step back to lean against the wall again.

“…that man is still out there. What’s going to stop her from going out to look for him?”

“I will,” Satoru defends you. “I told him he can’t see her anymore. I’ll talk to her too. She’ll listen to me.”

He and Suguru talked about you?

Hopefully, Suguru doesn’t think you’re ashamed of him. You couldn’t even text or call him after your parents went to get you, and you haven’t been able to sneak your phone back to your room, they hid it well.

“You really think she’ll listen?” Your mother argues. “That guy was her partner, you really think she’s strong enough to leave him behind? The first chance she gets she’ll go look for him and put our family to shame.”

Satoru doesn’t answer for a moment, making your heart sink. Does he really agree with her?

Your own brother?

“I have faith in her,” he later says, but you hear the uneasiness. “Besides, who cares what the others think? They don’t matter to us. We’re Gojo’s. We’re the strongest.”

“It doesn’t matter to you now,” your father says. “But it will when you become the clan leader, so start behaving and thinking like you’re already our leader, Satoru.”

“I am,” he rebuttals. “And I'm saying I’m taking her back with me.”

Footsteps echo and your heart skips a beat thinking he’ll defy them and come get you.

“You really want to see your sister become like him?” Your mother stops him, making you clench your jaw.

“He’ll persuade her, Satoru, is that what you want?” She presses him. “To see your sister gone? To see your sister become a curse-user?”

“She won’t,” he says with anger in his voice.

“She will,” she raises her voice. “You know he’ll get to her. She’ll leave, you know it,” she says softly now as you hear her footsteps on the floor. “Just let her stay here until all this passes. Go to your missions and come back for her then.”

No, no please no. Please Satoru.

The room stays silent and you hold your breath as you wait for his answer. As you hope he’ll defy them.

“Fine,” he mutters nonchalantly, and you feel your heart literally break in your chest while your breath gets trapped in your throat.

The one person who you never thought would leave, the one person who said would protect you, is leaving you behind. He didn’t fight for you. He gave in and believed the people that would always hurt you, the people he always protected you from.

“I’ll call to check up on her though so please do the kindness to let her talk on the phone.”

Traitor.

“You picked the right choice son.” Your father comments quietly.

Satoru doesn’t answer, he doesn’t add anything else, no one does. The conversation ends and you hear footsteps walk out of the room, so you come out of hiding and face your brother's retreating figure.

“Satoru,” you call out shakily as you try to fight your tears.

Your brother stops walking and slowly turns around. He has his shades on so he takes them off and slowly looks up to look you in the eyes. And the first thing he saw was home. You were the only family member he actually cared about, wherever you were was his home and the only one he needed. So when he sees your eyes filled with tears and expressing hurt, his heart aches.

“I’ll come pick you up later, okay?” He says as he sees the betrayal in your eyes. “After my missions.”

You don’t say anything and that’s what hurts the most. He knows you have so much to tell him, but you stay quiet and just look at him with anger and anguish.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he says in a soft voice. “So be ready. Oh! And when I come I’ll make sure to bring Shoko, you promised her a tour no?”

You don’t smile like he wants you to, you don’t even show that you acknowledge his comment, you just roll your eyes and turn around to walk away.

Satoru stays there where he was and watches your figure retreating, and in doing so, he catches when you can’t hold back anymore and begin to cry when you think he can’t see or know anymore.

“Shit,” he hisses but doesn’t go after you, he walks away instead and leaves you behind.

——

*THE NEXT DAY*

There’s been little to distract you from the events that have unfolded over the past few days. When your family isn’t giving you a hard time there’s little to do but think.

It’s so hard to focus on anything else but Satoru and Suguru. You try to focus on your training, and on hobbies you never get to do anymore because you’re so busy at school, but your worry for Suguru, and the anguish Satoru made you feel is all that makes itself present.

You wonder if Suguru is okay, if he thinks you’ve turned your back on him. And Satoru…there just lies one question, why?

All this time did he really have no trust for you? If he did he would’ve taken you home and away from these old timers with their minds stuck in eras they didn’t even live through. But he chose to listen to them, he agreed with them in some way. Why?

You’d ask since he’s the only person you’re allowed to talk to, but you’re still too upset to hear his voice or even catch a glimpse of him. He’s called a few times already, most likely out of guilt, but you refused to accept the phone and made sure he heard your refusal every time.

So it’s like you don’t exist to anyone but your family. It’s so boring! All you want to do is leave…but not return to school, Satoru’s betrayal set your decision on that debate. You just want to leave and never turn back.

What’s the point anyway? You could have learned to live without Suguru. It would’ve taken a while but if things unfolded in certain ways you would have learned to live without him at school. The one thing you can’t live through is seeing your brother's face after he left, after he practically accepted the one thing you don’t like about yourself, the one thing he always tried to assure you over.

Why did he have to do it?

You exhale and flip the page of the book you’re not actually reading, and take in the sun that kisses your skin until suddenly there’s shade cast over you.

“What?” You murmur and snap your eyes up to see none other than Naoya Zen’in, with a cocky smirk on his ugly face.

“Naoya?” You question and hide your disgust.

“Long time no see, Gojo,” he greets you. “I was told you were over here.”

You glance around and see no one else in the courtyard so you probe. “What are you doing here? At my house?”

He shrugs. “I came to visit you, I was told our match might still happen.”

Ew.

“Now,” you scoff. “Who said that?”

“My clan leader after we found out the cursed spirit manipulator murdered a town,” he flaunts as if he’s actually happy about it.

“Oh I’m sure you’re not above a few non-sorcerers deaths, Zen’in,” you quip, making his smirk falter.

“He’s sentenced to death because of it,” he counters.

You roll your eyes and shrug nonchalantly. “What do a few non-sorcerer deaths mean anyway?”

Naoya blinks repeatedly and then chuckles. “Oh wow, Gojo, you’ve changed. Didn’t you always try to be some high and mighty sorcerer with some pristine principles?”

You close the book in your hand and push yourself to your given height to meet his gaze. “I’ve changed, it happens you know? As our brains develop. But given…” you trail off and just snort softly. “Nevermind. Anyway, that person is long gone.”

“Good,” he quickly interjects. “She was a real bitch.”

You blink in disbelief and tilt your head slightly. “Excuse me?” You press coldly.

Naoya brushes you off and leans his face forward, making you step back and scrunch your nose in disgust. He doesn’t catch your reaction and continues. “Let’s celebrate to a long lasting and fruitful relationship after Geto Suguru dies. I can’t wait to meet this new person you’ve become.” He looks you up and down, and licks his lips, causing you to narrow your gaze into a deeper glare and rebuttal.

“It’s not going to happen. Keep dreaming though, it feeds my ego.” You feign a laugh and push past him to escape back to your room.

However, Naoya steps forward and forcefully grabs your wrists to stop you. “What’s so funny?” He snaps.

You yank your hand away and peer back while you keep giving him your back. “Besides you still being illusioned over this match that will never happen, it’s funny that you think you’ll kill Suguru Geto.”

“Who said I was going to kill him?”

You stop walking, and just as you’re going to turn around to face him you see the answer to the question you wanted to ask walking out of the door behind your father.

You step back to try and walk away, hoping you’re wrong, but then you hear their persistent voice in your head trancing you to stop.

You try to fight, but the more strain you put in, the more it hurts, as if fires were being set off in your mind.

Then again even if you had managed to somehow fight them off you wouldn’t be able to run one foot away, your father would guarantee that. Plus Satoru isn’t here to protect you from their schemes. He never is.

So what other choice do you have but to go with them? Because after all you never had a choice, that’s why they insisted on having you stay. They wanted you to kill Suguru because of your relationship with him. Because they don’t like how powerful he is and can be.

Nevertheless, even as they starved you and beat you to weaken your mind for five days, you still tried to fight off their chant; kill Geto Suguru, kill Geto Suguru, kill Geto Suguru.

It played on a loop over and over again. You tried to shut them out every time, you tried to fortify your mind even through the weakness that plagued you, but they’d only push back harder and chant louder inside your head; kill Geto Suguru! Kill Geto Suguru! Kill Geto Suguru!

Plus with each counter you hit them with, that fire that basked your mind only burnt worse to the point it actually felt like it spread to every single limb. Perhaps that's why even after all your efforts, after five days they were finally able to penetrate through your mind and make that foreign goal clear within you.

“Repeat to me what you will do, daughter?”

You stare blankly at the wooden floor beneath you and exhale deeply before you deadpan. “I will kill Geto Suguru,” you repeat what the triplets had engraved in your mind for five days.

Your father pulls out your phone and hands it to you. “Don’t disappoint me,” he says.

You keep quiet, and open your phone to click on Suguru’s contact and text him here so your father can see.

You to Suguru: Hey! I know it’s been a few days but I finally got my phone back, can we meet up to talk?

You frown and blink to look at your father in the face as he pulls out a silver dagger imbued with cursed energy.

“This is to use on him,” your father says. “A cursed tool called Heartsbane. You are meant to leave it in his heart after you stab him or else he will be able to survive it, and if he can he’ll be able to use RCT. Do you understand?”

You reach over as he tucks it back in the sheath, and nod stiffly. “Stab him in the heart and leave it there. I understand.”

Your father hesitates before he hands you the sheathed weapon you tie behind you under your silk belt.

And as you do your phone rings as a message comes in from Suguru.

Suguru: Of course, can you go now to the café? Or I’m willing to go wherever you want.

You swallow back nervously but respond.

You: Let's meet up at that river we go to on New Year's. I’ll head out now xoxo

The place where you confessed your feelings to each other for the first time, the place where you began to date last year. That’s where you’re taking him.

“He fell for it,” you share and close your phone.

“Then what are you waiting for?”

——

Arriving at the place didn't take long, you made it there in under thirty minutes. And throughout it all your mind never faltered, the goal you were sent to do was engraved as the trance you were under held your mind captive; leaving you unable to think of anything, leaving your other senses partially dull. It’s like you were in some kind of tunnel vision.

You think of straying but you can never actually break free.

But then there he is, the man you love already waiting for you. He notices you right away and smiles at you before he laughs softly as he teases the sloppy way you wear your kimono; you didn’t even bother to layer it properly, you show cleavage which is a big no, and just wear a beautiful red silked belt to keep the white kimono in place. Did you get properly scolded for it? Yes, but that’s the one thing you didn’t listen to. Not while your mind just repeats the same thing, kill Geto Suguru.

“Geto Suguru,” you greet coldly as you stay a couple feet away from him, and reach for the dagger.

He smiles a warm smile and doesn’t seem to notice anything weird. “Hi, y/n, I missed you,” he says softly.

.

.

.

.

.

A/N- Satoru shouldn't have left 😗

Tagged- @deniseabad1928 @secondary-character-25

#fanfiction #damn-stark #chapter 9 #sugar #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fanfiction #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk #jjk season 2 #jjk fanfiction #jjk fanfic #geto suguru fanfiction #geto suguru #geto suguru fanfic #geto suguru x fem!reader #geto suguru x y/n #geto suguru x you #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru x gojo!reader #suguru geto #suguru geto fanfic #suguru geto fanfiction #suguru geto x y/n #gojo saturo #satoru gojo #nanami kento #shoko ieiri #naoya zenin #fanfic #getou x reader

[yunarim]

Heyyy hey! I got a strange idea so... I saw you mentioned you're interested in kpop, so I thought if you can write a fic w paper kissing game idols used to play like 4-5 years ago?? lol in case you don't know they're grabbing a piece of paper w their mouths and trying to pass it to one another using their mouth only... i hope i make sense :D how about writing it w your faves?

（✿ᴗ ᴗ）마지막 인사 To My First ❤︎ summary : paper kiss game! (where the paper drops) ❤︎ tags : gn reader, fluff, vdc/sdc mentions (thus book 5 spoilers) ❤︎ chatacters : vil, azul, idia, malleus ❤︎ author's note : in case you have no idea what the paper passing game is about, see this one video with seventeen! also see the end of the post for more ^^

Ah, seriously. What was the point in sitting here when the winner was already announced. You were more than enraged, blood almost boiling in your vessels at how unfair all this was. Seriously, a little childish song, even though it was cute and adorable and all that sweet fluffy rainbow-unicorned stuff — now that, that was considered as something worthy of first place? Ha!

In any case, you watched the out-of-competition part of the event going smoothly, you didn't even blink while Ace and Deuce were hissing like two cats who didn’t get their milk and were giving death stares at the jury section, as if trying to scratch them by their glares. 

It was okay. It was a literal shame, and even if you hadn’t taken part in the competition, you know just how painful it is when your best efforts aren’t paying off. And while you were lamenting over the second place, that awfully catchy song still going on repeat in your mind, you realized that members of the Light Music Club actually made their way to the stage.

“Hey guys! Before we start our performance, let us demonstrate to you a little game we’ve discovered not so long ago!”

You furrowed your brows, blurry memories suddenly popping up in your mind. You recall Cater asking what kind of games were popular in your world and now this… 

“Let us introduce to you a Paper Kiss Game~” Lilia winked, piquing the audience's interest and giving you a stare only you could understand. 

You were seated at Vil’s left and you felt how he bend down to you, leaning closer to your ear and asking whether took you a hand in the matter or not, but you just only tried to reassure him with a wry smile, realizing that now you may actual have your stage debut out of nowhere.

“Participants will be chosen randomly!~ Please log in into the VDC app and click on…”

As Kalim was explaining what to do, you already sighed, realizing your defeat. No way you are not going to take part in their antics when you were the one who told them about this game. As expected, the status in your app was saying you’re the participant. 

“Alright, our dear participants, please come to the stage~” 

You gave Cater a warning glare, but he just laughed it off. There were not so many people, and mentally you were thanking all the Great Sevens at once for standing near familiar people. It would be extremely embarrassing to pass a piece of paper to Neige… Not only embarrassing, maybe you wouldn’t restrain your anger and put his shitty piece of paper to—

Ahem.

“Okay guys, remember if you drop the paper, you should start over from the very first person in a row! Then… let’s start!”

─ ⊹ VIL SCHOENHEIT ♡₊

How smart of Cater was it to make you the person from whom the game starts. 

You had two things in your mind at the very moment: first — to damn never let the paper drop so you won’t ruin Vil’s reputation and at least a pretty decent trustworthy attitude you managed to build somehow, and the second — to do it as quickly as possible.

Vil, stunning as always, shining brighter than any sun, both your world’s and twisted wonderland’s one, was wearing his insanely high heels, so after grabbing a red piece of paper you tugged on his sleeve, making him bend over to you. You opened your mouth just enough for it to successfully grab the paper, and basically plastered it to your lips. 

Vil seemed absolutely unfazed by your not so beautiful behavior and picked up the paper from your lips in an elegant way, then passed it over to the next person, demonstrating the flawless and gorgeous demeanor he always had. You showed him thumbs up, appreciating his work. Maybe they train actors and models to do anything spectacularly well in any situation? 

Suddenly you saw Neige stuttering and stumbling, so you facepalmed at his clumsiness, eagerly grabbing the next piece of the paper from Lilia who stood beside you, seeming especially amused at your reaction.

You thought it would be okay this time too, at least you knew Vil’s gonna save you if anything, but somehow you haven’t considered he was too… swayed by something.

The way your eyes were glimmering with an unfeigned joy got him startled for a mere second. You were clearly having fun, enjoying a peaceful time after so many things happened. Those were the moments you were absolutely beautiful.

He pressed his lips to yours, thinking he caught the paper, but somehow it wasn’t so rough and scratchy as it was during his first attempt. He glared at you, noticing how your cheeks were slowly dusting with a scarlet hue, and you quickly pulled back, avoiding meeting his glance.

“Oh my!~ What a predicament~” 

You thought you heard Lilia encouraging the audience to give their best reactions, people definitely were crying and swearing at you for kissing THE Vil Schoenheit, and it seemed the others were demanding you to continue, but at the very moment it was only you and Vil enjoying your little moment.

“Potato,” you finally looked up at him. “Let’s continue.”

“A-ah, yes!”

You remember almost nothing after winning the game, if there even was a winner at all. You made your way to the backstage, trying to calm down your extremely fastly beating heart, but was startled when someone also came in.

“Potato, I thought you learned something from the lessons I gave another potatoes during our rehearsals. Don’t be embarrassed of yourself. And also…”

He leaned to you, gently caressing your cheek.

“When I suggested we continue I didn’t mean the game.”

─ ⊹ AZUL ASHENGROTTO ♡₊

That was absolutely awful. Not only you had to grab a paper from Vil, you had also pass it over to Azul. 

As for Vil, everything was quite okay. He was an actor, he played in kissing scenes before, it’s like breathing to him, this kind of entertainment was his second skin. The only problem remained was you and Azul right there.

You quickly turned to your ashen-haired friend, slightly tilting your head and apologizing beforehand. 

Little did you know that Azul was going crazy at the spot, a kaleidoscope of different emotions scrolled through him, making it almost unbearable to just stand straight. He was sure the twins were filming him, he noticed Floyd making some sort of a fancam of him (you taught the octatrio this word). 

Vil turned to you, bending over and passing you the paper successfully, so you grabbed Azul’s hand, pulling him closer. His glasses slipped off the bridge of his nose at the sudden movement. He was too preoccupied with trying to actually see how you are holding the paper with your mouth, his vision all blurry and vague, so he realized he lost his concentration. 

Was there any in the first place? He was actually swayed by your assertiveness. Being lovestruck to the point of mistaking your confusion and embarrassment for happiness, glimmering in the corners of your eyes — he was so hopeless. Hopelessly in love with you. 

So he completely forgot he had a game to complete. Well, at least to attempt winning. 

You mumbled something incoherently due to the paper you were still holding with your lips, at least for you it sounded like a perfect interpretation of his name under the conditions you were trapped in, and well, you did sound menacing for a reason. 

Azul finally came to his senses (at least he thought he did) and grabbed your hand in response, leaning closer and deciding to pull off all the luck he got. He couldn’t mistake the paper texture and your lips. Even if he couldn’t see a damn thing, he still had heightened senses. 

Well, extraordinarily heightened senses, it seemed. 

You felt how the paper slipped away, as well as Azul’s glasses falling off completely and landing on the tip of your nose with a dull thud. You muttered through his lips and pulled away quickly. This was absolutely embarrassing and you were sure Azul was going to make you pay off for causing such an unprofitable situation and—

Ah, yeah, you still had a game to restart. 

You saw Vil sighing at you two and grabbing another piece of paper from Lilia’s hands. Even though your cheeks were still hot after the accident kiss, Vil wouldn’t fancy the idea of restarting the game three times in a row, so he somehow made you catch the paper successfully and demanded to do better this time. Now you gently pulled Azul closer, tilting your head, while he made sure his glasses were on their right place, and nearly kissed him, finally passing the paper. You were even astonished at how easily Azul managed after you, not even looking at Idia who was next. 

Meanwhile Floyd somewhere in the crowd was having his fanboy moment and claiming this fancam of Azul will go viral, a total banger. 

─ ⊹ IDIA SHROUD ♡₊

THIS IS THE DISASTER. 

He freaked out instantly on the spot when he got a notification he was that lucky he got included as a participant. He wasn’t even intending on watching the show in person, he was an Ignihyde dorm leader for a good damn reason, why have 4K displays if not using them at all? 

Ortho. 

Of course it’s always his cheerful, proactive brother. Ortho said it would be nice to see his classmates’ performance, and also the whole world is simping for Neige LeBlanche, maybe he could do a collab with Gakemo someday, it was definitely worth witnessing in person!!

He didn’t care about Neige or anything at all, he just wanted to make sure everything was going okay with the techs and displays, his flesh and blood in his comfy room drown in darkness. 

And somehow here he was, standing on the stage next to the extremely popular and illegally charming Ramshackle prefect by his right and the almighty Malleus Draconia at his left. 

It was a nightmare. The worst of them, apparently, as he trembled just by standing near the Prefect. He was surrounded by the two people everyone always spoke of. He, a proud introvert, geek and a shut-in, being sandwiched between the Prefect he kinda had a crush on and Malleus Draconia he was avoiding as a plague. 

You, on the other hand, knew damn well how anxious Idia must be. Not to be greedy about winning the game quickly, but you genuinely cared for Idia, so while Vil was trying to pass the paper to Azul, you pulled up on your toes and reached for Idia’s ear. 

“Just imagine me as anything you’re comfortable with. I hope that would suffice..”

Idia wanted to ramble to you how ridiculous you were sounding, but Azul grabbed your hand, passing you the paper, so you were already preoccupied with another task. 

Okay. Really, alright, he was imagining a cork board instead of you, trying to mentally replace your lips with pins, sticking down the paper notes to the board. Huh, like hell this would work!!

You throw a thumbs-up at him before grabbing his hands and making him bend down to you. To give you the credit, you really did manage to pass the paper over to him, but just for a moment you thought you heard a crackling sound somewhere near you. 

Indeed, when Idia pulled away from you, you saw him… biting the paper through. You didn’t even know whether it was you, completely at the loss of words, or Idia, silently hissing and cursing, who actually lost, but in any case both of you heard Kalim claiming it was cheating. 

NO, PLEASE NOT AGAIN, Idia begged for someone, but here you were, passing over another piece of paper to him. His flickering hair went from a little pinkish hues to more reddish ones, getting far brighter. 

Now it was the wind that took the paper away from your lips. The third time it was you who stumbled on the previous two papers, an unexpected pile of them forming under your feet. The fourth time Idia was going to leave, his hair flaming with an amaranth red, almost spreading a fire hazard all over the place. 

The fifth time though you’ve had enough. 

“Shit, if I’m destined to kiss you right now, then so be it,” Idia watched you in pure horror, glaring at the exit of the stage and thinking when he should start running. “Idia!”

“H-huh!?” he startled, glancing at you quickly and averting his gaze almost instantly after. 

“Can I kiss you!?”

“Y-yes?? WHAT??”

Idia remembered being drugged to his dorm by Ortho and losing the game for the first time in his life. 

But hey, was it a loss though? 

─ ⊹ MALLEUS DRACONIA ♡₊

What the name of the game was again?..

Malleus just stared at you standing at his right, having that little LeBlanche boy whose team won the VDC at his left. Yes, such an unfortunate situation… Maybe Schoenheit should have let you participate. Malleus knew best how pleasant your voice sounds when you’re humming something to yourself only, while cleaning up the garden. Or how nimble and brisk you can be whenever Lilia pops up in front of you, hanging upside down, and you dodge him flawlessly. 

In any case, he was so preoccupied with the thoughts of you he actually skipped the part where he wanted to observe others in order to get the main idea of this game. 

Somehow you weren't nervous about passing the paper over to Malleus. Even if the game was ridiculous, you were enjoying the thought of having Malleus on stage. All eyes on him, and he was so gorgeous and lovely!! 

You knew it was surprising for many people to see the legendary Malleus Draconia in all his glory and magnificence. Even more surprising to see him participating in this game like an ordinary college student. 

When Malleus made his way to the stage, he thought that playing a little games accustomed to human beings would show his other, more gentle side. 

The key word, he only thought. There was no point in taking a guess how this game would end if you weren't the one standing beside him, your absolutely pristine presence calming him down and filling his heart with an indescribable heartwarming feeling. The way you flashed a reassuring smile at him before the game started made him return this smile, causing you to blush. 

And yet something pricked his chest when he saw you touching Idia, almost being really intimate (if grabbing his hands and yelling you two need to finish this quickly and stay thankful you two aren’t passing the paper over to Neige considered as intimacy?..). Were you just kissing at this point? Right in front of him, after all the obviously romantically-linked words you've said?

No, no. You wouldn’t betray his trust and he knows that truly. Then… maybe that was some kind of a strange encouragement between humans, so they feel energized enough to complete the game after? Yes, it seemed this way. He wanted Lilia to explain the rules again better, since he shamelessly skipped the first one time, being busy staring at your cheerful smile. 

Suddenly you turned to him with a paper covering your mouth and tugged on his sleeve, trying to point out that he needs to lean towards you. Why was a piece of paper covering your mouth again?.. Maybe that was some sort of a ritual, like washing hands before eating or something?.. Why would he kiss you with that when it’s so inconvenient?

He gently took off the paper with his gloved fingers, causing everyone to gasp and you to give him an uncomprehending look. Somehow Lilia wasn’t so quick to restart the game and pass the new piece of paper to Vil, who was standing as the first one in a row. 

“Tsunotarou?” You asked, tilting your head, the mention of his nickname causing him to smile at you. 

“I shall grant you with my blessing of encouragement, child of man. Please do well during the game.”

His gloved fingers gently traced to your cheeks, and you jumped at the sudden affection, but remained still, wondering what he would do next. He leaned in, pressing a rather deep kiss on your lips and pulling back after smiling through the kiss. 

“A-ahem, T-tsunotarou, you see…” you stuttered, clenching his clothes in your hands just to stay steady. “That paper… you needed to pass it over to the next student with your mouth without letting it drop.”

“Oh,” he placed a finger on his own lips, seeming rather perplexed at your words. “I assume my blessing isn’t to your liking then?”

“I absolutely loved that!!” You answered almost instantly, not caring about people's jaws dropping. “Good job, I totally feel like winning now!”

And you actually did win. The heart of your little dragon in the first place, of course. 

♡ tag list : @isacoremeow

❤︎ author's note : the caption is the name of the nct dream song ~ omg anon i know this game very well :D thx for requesting i had fun writing it! even tho i had a fever when i was working i believe it turned out good, hope you had fun as well ~ due to the mentioned fever i had no energy left for writing leona's part sry ;; (and maybe revealing my new fave... but i will someday ig)

© yushiiae 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧.

#twst #twst x reader #vil x reader #azul x reader #idia x reader #malleus x reader #twisted wonderland

[king-paimon]

Houseki no Kuni Chapter 107 Thoughts: Goodnight, Sweet Phos...

Hello everyone! Sorry for the delay with this post. I originally intended to finish it and post it on Wednesday, but you know.... life happened.

Another month has gone by and now we're on our second to last chapter for Houseki no Kuni. That's right; it's been confirmed that the next chapter will be the last chapter. Can you believe it? If you've seen my previous posts, I'm sure you have an idea of how I feel about this news.

But that'll be for the end of this post. For now, let's talk about this chapter! I don't know how long this one will be, but I'll still warn you that it might be longer than intended, which is the norm for me. This post is a bit too messy for my liking so I might end up making some edits to it later. For now, I just want to have it posted.

As always, please feel free to share your own thoughts in this post! Here we go!

Visual Storytelling Through Change in Style

The first thing I want to talk about is the visuals for this chapter. It greatly contrast with the visual style of the previous couple of chapters. In those chapters, the art was loud, intense, and chaotic, and yet mesmerizing and immersive. The heavy use of black, sharp lines and patterns emphasizes on the harshness of the changing environment. And in many of those page, Phos looks so small, as they are literally being consumed by their surroundings. Even though there were many panels where Phos, Eyeball, or the pebbles are the focus, the background is still very overwhelming in comparison.

Now contrast that with most of the visuals in this chapter. Most, if not all, of the intense visual motifs from the previous chapters are gone; no sharp patterns, black is subdued significantly, and the background isn't overpowering the characters.

The intensity of the visuals were cut back significantly and were traded in for simplified line art, heavy use of the white negative space, and soft hues that make everything airy and dream-like. This is especially true during Phos's sequence. I like how there are very few thick continuous lines in the artwork. These illustrations are mostly made up of light, loose broken up short lines that create abstract structures. And I like that as the regression continued, Phos's design simplified to the point that they were just a small abstract face.

This art style literally and metaphorically showed us the deconstruction of Phos. It's so simple, and yet so impactful.

This is also the case for the last two pages.

The change in visual tone does a nice job emphasizing the literal and figuratively change in scenery. To be more specific, the drastic art style changes can symbolize the final metamorphosis of the remaining characters and the story itself. With Eyeball and the pebbles, the style emphasizes how they've transitioned to a whole new place in a literal and allegorical sense. And with Phos, they're style does the same by emphasizing on the deconstruction of their being during their final moments.

I apologize if what I said was confusing (I also got myself confused for a moment haha) But I'll just end this section with this: I liked the art in this chapter.

Now then, we should jump into the meat of this chapter....

Phos's final curtain call.

Phos Can Finally Rest...

Like I stated before, I found Phos's pages really beautiful for different reasons. In terms of visuals, it's nice seeing some softer imagery after having nothing but sharp, chaotic ones. And story wise, it's nice to see Phos finally letting go and feeling fulfilled.

They are finally free, for real this time. Free from heartache, pain, existing. Phos is no longer held back by the sorrow they had been carrying, and they are free of regret.

They are finally at peace.

And would you look at that? We got to see Pho's original face one last time. And they were happy.

Good for them.

Before going to the next section, I want to quickly talk about this page:

When I first looked through the spoiler tag for the previous couple of chapters, I remember seeing some posts from people who seemed unsatisfied with how the story progressed. From what I understand, many of them didn't like that Phos decided to forgive the remnants of humanity. With this latest chapter, I'm sure there are fans who were also not happy that during Phos's final moments that they are thinking about wanting to see their old families again. I can understand the sentiment, though I'm not surprised with this development.

Despite everything that had led the story to this point, Phos did not hate their old families. Yes, they harbored malice towards them during different points of the story, and it would have been justifiable for Phos to punish them along with the other remnants of humanity came to them to pray. But instead, Phos chose to forgive and free them.

I originally saw Phos's actions as their way of finally cutting ties with their families and relieving themselves of the emotional baggage that they burdened them with. But it's been hinted for a while that despite everything, Phos still loved their families. And the fact that Phos wishes they could see them again solidifies this fact.

Though I can't say if I like this revelation or not, I still find it interesting. But again, I can understand if some readers disagree with Ichikawa's writing decisions. If you have your own thoughts about Phos's final moments, please feel free to share them!

But regardless of everything, I still think this was a wonderfully fitting send off for Phos.

But I'm not done talking about Phos just yet.

And Start Anew...

I'll admit that having the first image I see be Phos's last gem piece shatter was not the welcoming image I wanted to see. For a moment, I thought my hope that there was a chance the small piece of Phos would grow sentience and live a new life was shattered (haha.)

But hooray, for that theory became a reality! Despite Phos's last piece breaking up again, a small bit remained and is evidently showing signs of life. It was wonderful how the pebbles immediately recognized that small piece as their brother, showing once again how open and welcoming their are. Small Phos is so lucky.

And how ironic is it that this Small Phos is considered the smallest, (in some ways) youngest, and most fragile new member of this new family... much like how Phos was with the gems at the beginning of this whole story. (I know that Phos was the same height as the other gems, but because of their makeup and position within their society, Phos can be considered less significant or "smaller" than everyone else)

Hm. With that thought in the air... I hope the parallels end there and this doesn't mean that this small and untainted piece of Phos won't be subjected to a similar treatment of their predecessor, right?

...right??

Nah, it should be fine....Unless Aechmea somehow comes back-

Created Their New Path: Final Act of Defiance?

The second to last thing I'd like to talk about is this page because it had me thinking about few things.

It made me think back to the previous chapters, namely the crazy, nearly perfect plans perpetuated by Aechmea and the Lunarians. It's been emphasized many times how calculated Aechmea's plans were, especially when it came to Phos. He nearly predicted every action Phos would make and kept planning and manipulating accordingly until things go the way he wants. And in the previous chapter, it was also heavily implied that he and the other remnants of humanity counted on Phos, Eyeball, and whatever new organisms they came across, to get onto the Dues Ex Machina ship. In some way, they predicted correctly.

But now I must ask these questions:

Did they also count on the possibility of Phos not entering the ship?

Did they also count on Eyeball switching off the ship's autopilot, manually controlling it, and subsequently crash landing it on a planet that more than likely wasn't the original destination?

For these questions, I want to say no.

It's interesting how even though at this point in the story, both Eyeball and Phos seemed resigned to the fact all of their actions were a result of them being manipulated, even after the perpetrators were long gone. But funny enough, I think that their very last actions were entirely their choice. For Phos, staying on the planet and ceasing to exist was entirely their choice. And for Eyeball, choosing to meddle with the ships settings to grab Phos's last gem piece and boost the ships' output. I don't think Aechmea counted on Eyeball doing that. If Eyeball is correct and they did pass the planet that Aechmea had possibly prepared for them, then this means that Eyeball had in many ways changed the trajectory of his and the pebble's lives, albeit unintentional. This could all mean that are all finally free from Aechmea and his long-game, 4D chess plans.

Phos and Eyeball have finally and truly defied Aechmea and humanity.

...BUT THEN AGAIN.. there's always that dumb chance that this was ALSO somehow part of Aechmea's plan. I highly doubt it, because that would be very ridiculously convoluted, even for this story. But then again, you never know with this author.

But for the sake of this post, I want to believe Phos and Eyeball came out on top in the end by intentionally and unintentionally forging paths that wasn't previously made for them. Even though Phos's final choice was somewhat influenced by the professor, it still felt like it was truly their decision.

I hope this doesn't unravel somehow with the final chapter.

Speaking of which-

The Final Stretch...

I can't believe it. This story is about to end. We'll finally almost done and what a journey it has been. I can't believe I started getting into this series almost over 6 years ago. Many things have happened since then, and during this time, this story had sent me on such an emotional rollercoaster. Though there are many things within the story that I wish was different or handled better, I still think this was a very wonderful and thought provoking story.

Now Ms. Ichikawa has to stick the landing. This could make or break this series.

After everything you put us readers through, I hope the true finale will be worth it.

#houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #hnk #hnk spoilers #hnk phos #hnk spoiler #lotl #hnk meta #lotl spoilers #hnk analysis #hnk chapter 107 #hnk phosphophyllite #hnk manga #hnk thoughts #story analysis

[reader6898]

Undeserving

Pairing: Crosshair x female reader

Summary: Crosshair is finally back home with you and his family. He feels like he's undeserving of you but you tell him otherwise

Warning: angst, panic feeling, PTSD, reassuring, cute fluff at the end

A/n: with season 3 out I've decided to whip something up for Crosshair. If you haven't seen the first three episodes yet feel free to skip or reblog to read it later. Also, I tagged it with season 3 spoilers just in case

Crosshair woke up in a panic. He was still there in that hell hole being experimented on by that monster. He wanted out. He needed to escape and get back to his brothers and Omega. He needed to get back to you. His breathing started to increase and he felt like he couldn't breathe. His hand started shaking as the darkness crept in and he wanted all of it to stop.

You woke up next to him and when you noticed that Crosshair wasn't lying down you looked over at him. He was sitting up and even in the dark you could see that he was visibly shaking with the moonlight lighting up the room. Crosshair was having another episode. The doctor he had started seeing told you that this was normal with people who have gone through traumatic experiences and that you have to be patient with him. You got out of bed and quickly turned on the bedroom lights before going over to Crosshair and kneeling down in front of him.

"Crosshair?" You carefully and gently took ahold of his hands in yours and held them close to remind him that you were there for him. Crosshair's hand was still shaking but as you held his hands in yours he slowly came out of whatever memory he was reliving and squeezed your hands. You continued to hold his hands until he was back to the present and when Crosshair started to cry you sat next to him and pulled him into a hug. Crosshair held onto you and you let him until he had no more tears to shed.

The two of you sit there for a while in silence until Crosshair asks you a question. "Why are you still with me?" You furrowed your brows. "What?" Crosshair sat up and looked at you. "Why are you still with me?" "Why are you asking me that?" Crosshair sighs. "I just.." He looks down at his hand which had started shaking again. "I'm broken. I've done things that you would never forgive me for and now this." Crosshair curls his hand into a fist and closes his eyes. "I don't deserve you. You should leave. Be with someone who can take care of you. Someone who can give you the life you want. Someone who isn't is as broken as I am."

Your eyes go wide and you take ahold of his face in your hands and turn his head to face you. "Look at me, Crosshair." Crosshair hesitates before opening his eyes and looking right at you. "Never say that. You are not broken. You made it out of there alive and you made it all the way back to me. Never, ever say that I should leave you. I'm not going anywhere. I belong with you and this is where I'll stay." You scoot closer and kiss him on the lips. You pull away after a second and place your forehead on his.

"You are kind and caring and one of the sweetest men I know. You are loved by your brothers and sister and me. You're a survivor. I don't care what you did before all this. I forgave you for it a long time ago. You deserve your happy ending and all of us will be there for it." Crosshair held you tight and kissed you on the lips. He pulls away and looks down at you. "Thank you." You smiled at him. "I love you, Crosshair, and I always will." "Crosshair placed his forehead on yours again. "I love you too."

For the rest of the night Crosshair slept with you in his arms and for the first time in his life he slept without the threat of the nightmares coming back to haunt him and with a new purpose.

Tagging: @techs-stitches @moonlightwarriorqueen @523rdrebel @cw80831 @anxiouspineapple99 @the-rain-on-kamino @deejadabbles @sev-on-kamino @the-bad-batch-baroness @starrylothcat @cloneloverrrrr @multi-fan-dom-madness @trixie2023 @wings-and-beskar @wizardofrozz @sunshinesdaydream @dystopicjumpsuit @rexxdjarin @eternal-transcience

#star wars #tbb crosshair #tbb crosshair x reader #female reader #the bad batch #tbb season 3 spoilers #tbb season 3

[soleminisanction]

Like I mentioned on my previous post, there’s a particular aspect of how Steph got fired from being Robin that I find particularly interesting. (And based on your tags, @alvindraperzzz, you're going to enjoy this as well ;) )

So, just as a reminder, this is the deal that Stephanie and Bruce make when he agrees to let her be Robin:

"You're on probation. You don't learn any of the big secrets. And the first time you disobey my orders, is the precise moment you're out. No second chances."

Here's what makes this interesting: Tim also had a probationary period. It took place between 1989's "A Lonely Place of Dying" storyline and 1991's Robin miniseries, happening in scattered pieces across bits of Batman, Detective Comics, and other associated books.

Aside from changes in comm-tech between 1989 and 2003, there's only two major differences between Steph's probationary period and Tim's. First, Tim already knew the biggest of the Big Secrets, so he gets moments of interacting with Bruce and Alfred in civilian mode and even stays with them during school holidays. And second, Tim was not allowed his own costume and was forbidden from going out on patrol. Presumably, this second difference comes from a mix of Bruce's implied scheme to lure Tim back, Steph already having copious experience on the streets as Spoiler, and just general management of their differing personalities.

The important thing is, during this time, Tim was under the same restrictions as Steph: stay out of this fight, and if you disobey me you're gone. And there came a time, right at the end, where Batman wound up in a dangerous situation versus a supervillain (in this case, Scarecrow) and the would-be Robin chose to break the rules. What's interesting is the parallels and differences between the two scenes, and how, if you're paying attention, they're pretty consistent, despite their very different endings.

For one, in Tim's case, he's not initially on the scene, and he doesn't have contact with Bruce (like I said, 1980's comm-tech -- Oracle wasn't even a thing yet). This means that he isn't defying direct orders when he chooses to act. And he doesn't rush in himself right off the bat -- his first choice is actually to dial up Commissioner Gordon on the landline.

It's only after he runs out of ways to get a hold of Batman and warn him of the danger that he makes the decision to go out. And he does so very conscious of the fact that this is going to cost him Robin, in spite of the months of work he's put in.

Stephanie, on the other hand, is on the scene and has a direct line to Batman. She's chattering in his ear the whole time, to the point that he has to tell her to be quiet because she's distracting him. And when the fight gets going, he tells her repeatedly that he's doing fine, don't come in here, stay in the plane.

She lasts maybe fifteen seconds before abandoning her comms and diving in.

She doesn't wait or consider her options. She doesn't even give their deal so much as a passing thought. She simply assumes that she knows better than him and leaps in without thinking. Which mostly just demonstrates that a) she doesn't trust him which is bad when you're trying to form a partnership, and b) she can't be trusted to follow orders.

Also, frankly, she demonstrates poor judgement by completely misjudging the situation. Bruce does not need her help. Even injured, he's doing just fine. Stephanie rushing in is nothing but a distraction and, ultimately, what loses the fight.

Tim, on the other hand, judged the situation correctly. When he arrives on the scene, Batman (and innocent civilian Vicki Vale, not shown for space) is in trouble. He's been caught by Scarecrow and genuinely needs the back-up because he's being psychologically tortured.

Another parallel is that both Robins wind up in trouble as a result of coming to Batman's rescue. Which makes sense, they're teenagers versus adults with super-tech, training and horrible fear chemicals.

In Tim's case, he gets doused with fear gas (specifically "essence de trauma" because this was back when Scarecrow had specific strains of his stuff) which trapped Tim in an illusion of the very recent attack on his parents. Seriously, this is happening like, the day after they buried his mother.

But! He pulls himself out of it with the help of what might be hallucinations or might be the ghosts of Jason Todd and the Earth-1 Dick Grayson (it's never explained because this was the late 80s and nobody questions this stuff when half the creative staff is running on cocaine.) He then manages to turn the tables on Scarecrow and actually save the day.

Stephanie, on the other hand, gets herself caught.

Which, like I said, loses Batman the fight. And more importantly, it puts Steph's life in danger and she's not able to get herself free.

And it isn't like she doesn't have the opportunity, in-universe. This is where the scene ends, but Bruce recaps on the next page how Scarab, quote, "Left Robin tied up, but alive and uninjured" when she stole the Bat-plane to make her escape.

So, if you're a reasonable person, I hope you can see how there's already multiple strikes against Steph that don't really apply to Tim: she broke the rules thoughtlessly instead of with consideration, she defied direct orders instead of taking initiative on her own, and she completely misjudged the situation, putting herself in danger for no real reason and costing Batman the fight.

But now, we come to the difference that almost everyone overlooks, but I think is the real key to the whole thing: how each Robin behaves in the aftermath.

Because, see, Tim comes to Bruce immediately afterwards and owns up to everything.

I really like this scene because what Tim says here is very deliberate. He doesn't make excuses or try to deny anything. He simply explains himself and then apologizes, fully willing to accept the consequences of his actions.

It's a very mature thing to do. I couldn't have done it at 13. I'm not fully confident I could do it now, at 33. And in return, Bruce says this:

This is the story where Tim earns his wings. In the next two pages, he's given his costume and is officially made the new Robin. And it's because he demonstrates, through his actions in this story, that he understands both the weight of the legacy and the very real responsibility he's about to leap into.

Compare that to how it goes down with Steph.

Like I said in my previous post, despite Bruce saying she'd be out "the precise moment" she disobeyed him, Bruce doesn't fire her immediately after the Scarab incident. Instead, the story skips ahead by three weeks, until after Bruce has recovered from his injuries.

This is something he's shown consciously choosing to do, though he doesn't explain why. I like to think it's to give her time to consider her actions.

Note the difference in the way that Steph behaves: she shows up in her costume, with the standing assumption that they're going to go after Scarab. The only thing that she thinks would've prevented them from doing so is Batman's vision not healing.

She feels "guilty" about him being blinded, but that just demonstrates that she doesn't really understand the situation -- Batman was blinded while she was in the plane. Which implies that what she feels "guilty" about is not disobeying him sooner. The fact that she put herself in danger, the fact that she broke the rules, these things never cross her mind.

You'll note that she doesn't apologize either. Again, it's probably not deliberate, but "I feel so guilty, it was all my fault!" is not the same thing as "I'm sorry." The former is what you say when you're trying (consciously or not) to get the person you've wronged to comfort you. To tell you that it's okay, you didn't mean to do it, everybody messes up so don't feel bad. Which you'll note that Bruce does.

It's only after Steph does this, comes to him acting like nothing's wrong and they just had a little oopsie-daysie on the way to their next rip-roaring adventure, that Bruce finally drops the bomb.

Note the "direct order in the field" specification.

Stephanie only starts to admit that she did something wrong after she realizes she's going to be punished, and even then, she's not apologizing, and she's not owning up to her actions. She's making excuses, trying to wheedle out of the consequences of her own actions. And not once does she ever seem to internalize that she could have died.

And all of this is very in-keeping with her personality as established up to his point.

In short, while the two situations are very similar, Stephanie's actually demonstrates the exact opposite of Tim's: even after years of being Spoiler and multiple occasions where her own life, civilian lives, and the lives of people she supposedly cares for have been on the line, she's still treating this all as a game where the most important aspect of the outcome is how she feels about it. It's not just that she made "one mistake," this is part of a pattern for her, one that demonstrates very aptly that she does not understand the danger she's putting herself in, doesn't respect the guidance of the people who are trying to teach her, and frankly, has no interest in ever getting better, because she doesn't think she has a problem.

It can't be her fault, after all. She just made a little mistake! It's everyone else who're being unfair to her, holding her to rules and agreements she never meant to honor, and they'll all see as soon as she can prove them wrong...

And we all know where that leads.

Now, there are people who believe that this entire issue is simply unfair to Stephanie. And yeah, there's an entirely different discussion to be had about the out-of-universe decisions surrounding this story, the intention of the creators, etc. But I think everything that happens here in Robin #126 is as in-keeping for Steph's personality as the events of Batman #457 are for Tim. And I believe that, in both, Bruce's reasoning is fair and based on sound judgement, not sexism.

Still, they're very fun to compare. The nuances between the different relationships is very interesting.

#stephanie brown #tim drake #robin #batman #dc comics #meta #dc comics meta #robins #bat family #long post #my meta #man it was hard to end this one for some reason #I wish so hard I could see the world where Steph didn't die at the end of War Games #and the writers actually had to think about how she'd deal with the weight of what she did to people #it'd be even better if she didn't get hurt but Tim or Cass did #I should probably stop before I start writing fanfiction in the tags #still she could've been so interesting!! and instead they went with boring and 'I'm not like other girls! I'm QUIRKY!' #we could've had it aaaaaaaaaaaaall

[punchitmrsulu]

Hi I'm new to the walking dead for the Rick and michonne show! I want to watch where should I start? Can I ask who is Jessie and why was he miserable? It just seems like such a fun fandom there's so much lore I kinda want to know everything. How far back should I go to get the full story from the actors and everything? I kind of live for the kind of stuff lol. But it's OK if it's a lot to explain. I thought about just spending a few days digging through the tag as far back as I could go. This show and all the gifsets and all the fun everyone is having kinda has me obsessed a little bit. But should I watch the whole series? It's eleven seasons lol.

I'll explain it all to you, no problem! I'll just warn you there will be a few spoilers though, ok? It's kinda hard to explain without them, so if you don't want spoilers, don't read on.

Listen, Rick and Michonne aside (who are awesome, amazing, perfect) The Walking Dead is a REALLY good show all around. It's honestly got some of the best writing I've ever seen on TV. So, if you like TV shows and you're looking for a good one, I'd advise you to watch it all from the beginning. It is indeed a lot but it's gonna go by so fast, because it's so good, you won't even feel it. Seriously, all of the characters, the dynamics between them, the bonds they all forge, the development of the characters, the relationships, the narrative, the found family aspect of it, it's all chef's kiss. And Rick and Michonne is like the cherry on top. It's like, in case you thought we couldn't make things even better, here's the best couple of all time for you, enjoy.

Now, focusing on just Rick and Michonne, I'd still advise you to watch it from the beginning so that you can FULLY appreciate it when they finally get together. Cause we have Rick's relationship with Lori (his dead wife) in the beginning of the show, which was just not good at all, she never had his back, so when he finally meets Michonne and she becomes his partner in every way, even before they fall in love, it's just got a different flavor when it finally happens, you know? Cause everything he has with Michonne is the complete opposite of what he had with Lori, and it's glorious, and you can see why they were made for each other and are soulmates, so unless you see that relationship first, it's not gonna have the same impact in my humble opinion.

As for Jessie, and Andy being miserable about Rick's storyline with her on the panels, Jessie is a character (the most generic character you can possibly think of) that shows up closer to the end of season 5, before Rick and Michonne get together, and she's on the show for 14 episodes. Rick is kind of having a bit of a breakdown at this point and he develops a little thing for her but nothing really happens between them. They only share one very chaste kiss, which is shown from a distance. You see, Jessie's kind of a stand-in for his dead wife at this point in his storyline. Her fragility kinda reminds him of her, her husband is abusive and so she's someone he can save like he couldn't save his wife. She's like a second chance for him to save his dead wife, that was her whole purpose.

But the whole thing is just very forced and stupid and nobody wanted it, everybody was already shipping Richonne then for a long time, so it made NO sense. And at the time, the marketing for the show was really pushing this whole Jessie thing, so Andy's miserable on all the panels where that storyline is brought up because he had always wanted Rick and Michonne together, even his mom wanted it, both he and Danai (the actress who plays Michonne) have both said they were always playing romance when it came to Rick and Michonne, and it's very clear from the writing that that's where things were headed, so again, this Jessie person made NO sense. So, on the panels, whenever the Jessie storyline was brought up, Andy would usually keep his head down, hiding behind his hat and wouldn't say anything, wouldn't express anything, only the actress playing Jessie talked. He really just wanted to forget that storyline was a thing at all, it was bad enough he had to play it.

But thankfully, like I said, nothing really happens between them, she's in it for just a few episodes and then Michonne becomes his entire world.

Now, if you only want to watch starting from the point where Rick and Michonne meet, that's right at the end of 3x06. And if you only want to watch from when they get together, that's 6x10. It's still gonna be awesome and amazing, but like I explained, you might not get the FULL experience.

It is indeed many seasons but the first one is only 6 episodes long and from then on, each season is about 13-16 episodes long.

I hope I was able to make things clear for you and if you have any other questions, just ask, I'll be more than happy to answer!

#richonne #one couple to rule them all #rick grimes #michonne #michonne grimes #the walking dead #the ones who live #the walking dead the ones who live #twd #towl #twd towl #andrew lincoln #danai gurira #scott gimple #anti jessie anderson #anti lori grimes

[foolondahill17]

My top 10 fic picks from 2022

(all updated or completed in 2022, in no particular order)

This was the year of devouring content from new favorite authors. Special shoutout to @outdean and @urne-buriall . Right Where you Left Me and spirit of the west are on track to becoming new fandom classics, methinks. 

1. Right Where You Left Me by outdean (@outdean), 93,581 words, E, destiel, canonverse

 Cas comes back from the empty 10 years after his death, only to find Dean married (to a man! gasp!). Heartache ensues, but not without a heartwarming end. Warning for (spoilers!) infidelity and emotional abuse from a spouse. Last year's serial fic of Tumblr was Cheapest Room in the House, and this year's was no less beautiful and engaging. What I especially loved about this fic was the sense of community and excitement it spurred in the fandom. It was so fun logging into tumblr after every update for collective squee and memes. What's also particularly praiseworthy about this story is outdean's sense of character. Not only are Dean and Cas authentic and oh-so tangible, but so are the other cast of characters: Jack is especially endearing, but also convincingly adult and complicated. And Dean's husband, although delicious to hate, is also a little difficult to hate, too. At its heart, RWYLM is an unerringly human tale, zits and all. 

2. spirit of the west by teen_dean (@urne-buriall), 140,680 words, M, destiel, AU 

Beautifully atmospheric, at times brutal, at times gentle - this 1990's horsegirl!Dean fic is one for the ages. Dean is 18 and lonely on his father's horse farm - that is until his childhood friend, Cas, returns to town, and they quickly fall into the kind of intimacy that's titillating, tantalizing, and terrifying all at once. TW for strong themes of domestic abuse and PTSD, also homophobia and animal death. The prose is charming and lyrical. The characters are lively and full. It's the kind of writing that's so detailed and visual, you feel like a participant in the story, not just a spectator. Despite the darkness and fear in Dean's life, with Cas by his side (and a host of other lovable characters), he grows to accept love from others and for himself. This is more than a coming-of-age novel. It's also a story about hope: in the face of cruelty, there will also be unfailing kindness. 

3. so much smoke in the hall of mirrors by AreYouReady (@autisticandroids), 6,232 words, E, pre-destiel/one-sided destiel, canonverse

 Dark. Dark. Dark. But also disturbing and alluring in the best possible ways. It's season 6, and Cas is lured steadily further from the light by Crowley and the pressures of the Angelic civil war. To blow off some steam, he creates a Dean sex-doll out of living flesh. Warnings are well-listed in the tags, but include non-con voyeurism, dehumanization, and torture. Although the premise is bleak, this fic is a fascinating and believable dive into Cas's characterization pre-godhood powertrip. Well worth the read if you don't mind a little moral ambiguity with your morning wheaties. 

4. Dateverse by aeli_kindara (@gravelghosts​), 47,057 words, 3 works, E, destiel, canonverse

After the Mrs. Butters business, Dean asks Cas on a date. Warnings for typical Dean bad headspace, but there's plenty of fluff to soothe our (and Dean's) ills. aeli_kindara is an author whose careful writing perfectly suits Dean's caution as he pursues Cas and navigates a relationship within their emotional pitfalls and chaotic surroundings. What I especially admire about her writing is her use of motifs: photographs in the first story, memories in the second, and sunsets in the last. The third installment is waylaid by the events of the final few episodes of the series, but the fic seamlessly blends canon and fresh events into a believable and satisfying happy ending. Also, Dean goes to therapy! What's not to love? 

5. where black stars rise by teen_dean, (@urne-buriall), 27,770 words, T, destiel, canonverse

This case fic carves through the grand, sweeping mysteries of the universe like the Sidewinder Canyon through the desert. No specific warnings other than that very distinct, unnerving state of mind you enter while driving alone at night, darkness and pin-prick stars above you, and it feels like you're nothing but an infinitesimal speck of dust on the cusp of eternity.... Anyway, this fic follows Dean and Cas on the trail of several missing persons on a canyon trail in Arizona, unobtrusive until time and space, itself, unravels at the seams. Teen_dean plays with words and the cosmos like Play-Doh, molding an ethereal, enthralling story that rocketed up to one of my favorite fics of all time. 

6. iconography by foccacciabread (couldn’t find a tumblr), 3,578 words, G, Mary and Dean centric, canonverse

A simple enough premise: Mary finds old photographs of herself on Facebook. Cue family heartache, the punishment of lost time, and navigating old wounds. How to be a son when your mother isn't who you thought she was? How to be a mother when your child is dead but somehow still alive, but so, so changed? No warnings, but heavy angst. 

7. Dont Stop, Make It Pop by dumbassnatural (@dumbassnatural), 34,661 words, WIP, T, destiel, canonverse

Cas accidentally becomes a tik tok sensation, and Jack uses his technological and business savvy to make his dad a star. Both parts sweet and earnest, this story starts with a silly premise and takes it to surprisingly heartwarming places. No warnings other than the fact this is a WIP that hasn’t been updated since January, but it does leave off in a place that isn’t hard to extrapolate what might comes next. 

8. in present tenses by focacciabread, 31,463 words, E, destiel, canonverse

After getting Cas back from the Empty, Dean decides the smartest move to guarantee Cas doesn’t ever leave him again is to just start sleeping with him. It’s what Cas wants, right? And it won’t do any further psychic damage to Dean, right? Right? Surely it will not have any negative effects whatsoever on their relationship. Warnings for bad Dean headspace throughout. There are a couple fics with this premise floating about, but I was especially drawn to focacciabread’s evocative writing and convincing Dean internal monologue. We love a messy boy. 

9. AITA for disapproving of my brother's high sex drive? by birdsofthesoul (couldn’t find a tumblr) and PlaidIsTheBestPattern (@cacophony-of-notions), 3,907 words, T, implied destiel, canonverse

This one also made its rounds on Tumblr, so you’ve probably already read it, but it’s an absolutely delightful, only partially serious take in Dean and Sam’s Reddit Rivalry and that particular brand of moralizing found in online spaces. It does what all the best “crack taken seriously” fics do, which is gives us an amusing premise but never deviates from the voices of these characters we know so well. Very mild warning for homophobia. Also be sure to read the rest of the AITA series.

10. peace came upon me (and it leave me weak) by outdean (@outdean), 73,773 words, E, destiel, canonverse

After Cas gets taken to the empty, Dean gets sober. Cas comes back a year later. Problems ensue. This one deals seriously and carefully with addiction and alcoholism, especially heavy mistakes done under the influence. Dean has a lot of growing to do and a lot to atone for, and he isn’t let off the hook easy. Cas has his own journey as he learns to forgive Dean for passed mistakes and navigate a future life with the man he’s in love with. It’s not an easy path, and it’s not an easy story to read, but it’s well worth it. Outdean navigates serious issues with finesse and delicacy that’s wonderful to observe. 

Honorable mention: 

Pater by TaraxcumWine, (couldn’t find a tumblr),  184,366 words, E, destiel, AU

I recced this as a WIP last year, but it finished posting early in 2022. I didn’t want it to take up a spot again, but I can't help but mention it. It’s a thoughtful, intricate, and beautiful look in Dean and Cas’s relationship from their first meeting to present day. It deals with heavy themes of child abuse, past non-con, mental health issues, homophobia, etc. so tread carefully. This is especially recommended for those who liked spirit of the west or my own silver linings series, as it deals with similar themes. It’s very well worth the read despite the hefty length. 

#fanfic recs #fic recs #2022 fanfiction review #read 'em while they're hot

[ampresandian]

My (unofficial) PJO season 2 episode 5 script part 3/4 (part 1 | part 2)

I think towards the end of this section my lack of screenwriting experience becomes more apparent but I had a vision and tried to paint the picture probably a little too much so sorry if you're an actor/screenwriter and it looks/reads weird.

Images of script and copied text (bc I'm lazy and don't want to write out alt text) under the cut, just in case I didn't tag enough spoiler warning or people aren't interested <3

Annabeth Tries to Swim Home

MATCH CUT TO: INT. DARK VICTORIAN HOUSE – NIGHT. 

Continuation of first scene/flashback. YOUNG ANNABETH is still running down the hallway, but seems more determined. 

Thunder shakes the windows as she runs down a staircase. She turns a corner into a sitting room. The chairs are upturned, feathers coming out of the pillows all over the floor. A draft comes in from the dark fireplace, whistling with the storm. 

Annabeth stops in the middle of the room, facing the three doors that she has to choose from. They look the same. 

Hearing heavy footsteps, she opens the leftmost door, closing it quickly behind her. Breathing heavily, she presses her back to the door. 

Looking around the room, Annabeth finds herself in an orangery, the glass pelted by rain. Two of the large windows were cracked, spiderwebs expanding from old sites of impact. A few dead fruit trees sit in one corner. 

Through the cracks and the rain, Annabeth can see a light coming from a window several rooms down on the first floor of the house. Creeping closer, she presses her hand to the glass as she watches the light. 

In another room, Annabeth can see the CYCLOPS, but not much of the room. He lifts his arm, raising THALIA into view from the window. She struggles, and he looks to be laughing. He sets her back down, bending down himself as well (to tie her up, off screen). 

Turning from the window, Annabeth looks determined. 

YOUNG ANNABETH: (quietly) Hang on, Thalia. I’m coming.

She leaves the orangery from the second door, leading to a less Victorian hallway, one that would have been a servants’ corridor a few centuries ago. The walls look to be made of clay, and the floor is uneven in places. She nearly trips. 

Annabeth creeps through an open door, entering a dark room with a long table and walls lined with cupboards. China is smashed on the floor, half the cupboard doors open and hanging by hinges all along the room. Ahead, there’s an open door, light spilling through. 

Annabeth approaches, looking through to see a large room that used to be a kitchen, a large broken stove and Victorian era cookware off to one side. In the middle of the room is a raging fire. There are bones all over the floor. 

Near the stove sit THALIA, LUKE, and GROVER, tied up. Luke has a large gash at his hairline, but they seem mostly unharmed. Annabeth follows their eyes to see the large Cyclops in the middle of the room, near the fire. He is already looking at her, grinning. 

CUT TO: EXT. QUEEN ANNE’S REVENGE – DAY

PERCY is on deck, steering the ship through the sea. ANNABETH appears behind him, coming up from the cabin below. 

PERCY: (turning to look at her) Hey. How did you sleep?

ANNABETH: Fine. I-- (pointing) Percy. Look. 

In the distance, a lush island can be seen, meadows and forest on one side, cliffs and beach on the other. 

ANNABETH (CONT): Are we...?

PERCY: (nodding) 30, 31, 75, 12. That’s it. 

They look out at the island, closer now. Annabeth points towards a large tree. 

ANNABETH: The Fleece. 

PERCY: What’s protecting it? There’s no way it’s as easy as just going up there and taking it. 

ANNABETH: There should be... Jason had to fight a dragon in the story. It should have a guardian of some sort. 

As they watch, one of the large sheep visible on the island breathes fire, setting the grass in front of it aflame. The fire quickly dies, leaving brown grass that turns back to green and vibrant as they watch. 

ANNABETH (CONT): The Fleece must keep the island unburned. 

PERCY: So when we take it, it’ll just burn?

ANNABETH: (gasping) Percy, look!

On the beach is a small boat, just like the one they escaped the CSS Birmingham on. 

PERCY: That’s the other lifeboat. You don’t think... 

ANNABETH: (grim) We’ll never be able to get through those sheep. Sail around to the cliffs. 

CUT TO: EXT. POLYPHEMUS’ ISLAND – DAY. 

Cliffs and sea sparkle in frame. The Queen Anne’s Revenge sails into view around the cliffs, stopping at the base of them. Percy and Annabeth are on deck looking up at the cliffs, a little apprehensive. 

ANNABETH: Come on. It’ll be just like the climbing wall back at camp. 

PERCY: That’s what I’m worried about. 

Annabeth glares at him. Percy readies himself. 

PERCY (CONT): Okay. Let’s go.

Percy moves towards the cliffs, as if to start climbing. 

ANNABETH: I’m going first. 

PERCY: What? Why?

Annabeth rolls her eyes and begins climbing. Percy makes a sarcastic gesture and follows. 

Percy and Annabeth climb the cliffs, steadily making their way up. Percy mostly follows the path Annabeth takes. 

ANNABETH: Watch out here. 

Percy chooses a slightly different path at her warning. 

Suddenly, Percy’s hand slips. He dangles from the cliff by one hand. With the sideways motion, RIPTIDE falls out of his pocket, landing in the sea below. Percy looks down before refocusing on the cliff, finding another handhold. 

ANNABETH (CONT): Are you okay?

PERCY: (looking down) Yeah. Let’s go. 

ANNABETH: What was that?

PERCY: Nothing. It’ll come back. (turning back to the cliff) Let’s go. 

They continue climbing, starting back up a little slower than they were before. 

Nearly at the top, Annabeth’s foot slips. 

ANNABETH: Oh! 

She flounders before finding a foothold on Percy’s head. She rebalances. 

PERCY: Ah!

Percy tries to remain still, supporting her in spite of his surprise. Annabeth moves her foot back to the cliff. 

ANNABETH: Sorry. 

PERCY: It’s okay.

ANNABETH: Sorry. 

Annabeth reaches the top of the cliff, pulling herself over. She turns back and helps Percy up too. Percy goes to speak, but Annabeth puts her hand over his mouth to stop him. 

They move to the edge of the ledge they are on, peering down into a cavern below. Through the crack, they can see POLYPHEMUS, GROVER in his wedding dress, a large fire in the middle of the floor, and CLARISSE, tied up. 

CLARISSE: (struggling) Give me back my sword and I’ll fight you!

POLYPHEMUS: Well, bride? Should we eat her now, or save her for wedding feast tonight?

Grover flounders, nearly tripping over his dress.

CLARISSE: Bride? Do you mean Grover?

ANNABETH: (whisper) Shut up, Clarisse.

POLYPHEMUS: What is a ‘Grover?’

CLARISSE: The satyr? He’s right there.

GROVER: Oh, dear, her poor brain is boiling, you have to--

CLARISSE: In the wedding dress!

Polyphemus turns to Grover and pulls off the wedding veil, revealing his horns. Grover exclaims.

POLYPHEMUS: I don’t see so well. Not since Nobody stabbed me in eye. But you. Are no lady Cyclops!

Grover cries out as Polyphemus swipes at him. 

GROVER: Oh, stop! Don’t eat me raw!

POLYPHEMUS: (pausing, holding up a boulder) Eat you raw?

GROVER: Oh, no, I’ll taste awful! I have a recipe! I’ll taste much better grilled, with mango chutney! 

POLYPHEMUS: Mango chutney?

GROVER: Yes, yes. You have mangos right out there, in the forest. I’ll just wait here. You go gather them. 

Polyphemus considers, before turning to Clarisse. 

POLYPHEMUS: Grilled satyr. You are one too?

CLARISSE: No, you overgrown pile of dung! I am the daughter of Ares! Untie me so I can rip your arms off!

POLYPHEMUS: Rip my arms off.

CLARISSE: And stuff them down your throat! Let me down!

POLYPHEMUS: You got spunk. Have to graze sheepies now. Wedding after, with grilled satyr for the feast!

GROVER: You’re... Still getting married? 

Polyphemus looks at Clarisse. 

PERCY: (quietly, from above) Ew. 

Polyphemus gathers his sheep, throwing the door to the cave open as Clarisse understands. 

CLARISSE: Oh, no, you cannot be serious. Absolutely--

POLYPHEMUS: I come back at sundown for the big event!

He seals the cave, mumbling about mangos as he walks down the mountain with his sheep. 

ANNABETH: (exchanging a glance with Percy) Come on. I have a plan. 

(PART 4)

#Yes I changed the sheep #sorry not sorry #I think it makes sense #and also would be easier to depict on screen #it's still a first draft #and I am not a screenwriter #so i'm sure it reads funny #sorry #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo tv show #percy series #sea of monsters #pjo #percy jackson spoilers #percy jackson tv show #percy jackson sea of monsters #percy jackson season 2 #annabeth chase #grover underwood #clarisse la rue #&thoughts #my writing #percy jackson series #percy jackson tv series

[ruinconstellation]

Fic recs for The Hands of the Emperor

@rattyjol @wingedscribe @savrenim @far-sector @ariaste, and if you know an author’s tumblr handle and I haven’t yet tagged them, please do pass this along!

SPOIILERS AHEAD. Most of these contain spoilers for Artorin Damara's secret name, and some have other spoilers.

Trial by Fire by astrocryptographer. Rating: Teen and Up Audiences. No warnings. 4,040 words, 1/1 chapters. Relationship: Kip/HR.

Cliopher sayo Mdang trials as the Sun-on-Earth’s personal secretary. Incidentally, they learn that the taboo against eye contact has lifted, and that the one against touch has not.

Refraction by astrocryptographer. Rating: Teen and Up Audiences. No warnings. 9,249 words, 1/1 chapters. Relationship: Kip/HR. 

“If each of my two natures, I told myself, could be housed in separate identities, life would be relieved of all that was unbearable.” -The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde In a lonely tower, a young man without a name mixes a potion out of an old alchemy book, and in the mirror Fitzroy Angursell looks back.

Hold on Forever by SunInGlory. Rating: Teen and Up Audiences. No warnings. 16,959 words, 2/2 chapters. Relationship: Kip/HR.

Kip hated the sense of desolation in the man's voice, the despair, the resignation at the foundering of the ship that was his ke'ea. No one should have to give up— “You could always stay here,” he offered. “No one would ever know.” The man’s head popped up in astonishment—and, for the first time since coming in through Saya Dorn's pantry, he looked right at Kip, directly into Kip's eyes. (in which the newly crowned Emperor keeps tumbling through to Saya Dorn’s house.)

In the Office of Friendship by astrocryptographer. Rating: General Audiences. No warnings. 3,079 words, 1/1 chapters. Relationship: The Imperial Household. 

First Commander Omo suggested that his Radiancy retire, and that was bad enough, but then he just. Kept talking. Imperial Guardsman Elish was going to need a second vacation. If he survived this conversation.

Protocol One by astrocryptographer. Rating: Teen and Up Audiences. Warning: Major Character Death. 18,836 words, 4/4 chapters. Relationship: Kip & HR.

Protocol One: The Unexpected Death of the Lord Magus of Zunidh (the Last Emperor, the Lord of Rising Stars, the Sun-on-Earth, all ten thousand of his titles, his Radiancy, Cliopher’s dear friend)—how it is followed, and how it is not, and how the world somehow continues to turn.

Bloodstained Threnodies by astrocryptographer. Rating: Mature. Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings. 2,113 words, 1/1 chapters. Character: HR.

The Emperor of Astandalas died so that the Empire could live. The Empire in return sustained the Emperor with blood: a perfect, vicious symmetry which stabilized the magic of five worlds. We were never certain when precisely in our reign it could be said that we died. (The Emperor is a vampire.)

Arrest by astrocryptographer, complete series, 72,212 words, 2 works. The Arrest of Cliopher Mdang, rating: Teen and Up Audiences, no warnings, 69,381 words, 13/13 chapters. Acquittal, rating: General Audiences, 2,831 words, 1/1 chapters. Relationship: Kip & HR, the Imperial Household.

When the Last Emperor and Lord Magus of Zunidh declares Cliopher an enemy of the world, a threat to peace and prosperity, a Terror to rival those of the fallen Empire, what else can he do but live up to the legends? (or: the Moon Lady sets a curse on His Radiancy, causing him to hate Cliopher in an inverse of the love he bears. How can Cliopher break the curse?)

with a winged heart by celebros. Rating: Explicit. No warnings. 33,064 words, 6/6 chapters. Relationship: Kip/HR.

"Cliopher. Cliopher. Cliopher." I blink. It's Conju, standing with his hands on my shoulders, and I go to answer him and realize that I am already speaking, babbling, and Franzel is behind him, wringing his hands and looking near tears. I try to focus on what I'm saying, but it's like a stream, light and splashing past me, too quick to hold, not enough to catch, somehow, somehow –  (A few weeks before the start of the viceroyship ceremonies, Kip finds himself the unwitting recipient of a truth serum.)

Inner Guard by rattyjol. Rating: Teen and Up Audiences. No warnings. 903 words, 1/1 chapters. Character: Ludvic Omo.

His grandfather had liked to say that every piece of wood had something beautiful inside it, calm and quiescent like a wingfinger on a cold morning. It took a sharp knife and steady hands to bring it forth, but it took a carver’s eyes to show it the sun and let it fly.

Friday Keeps Coming Next by rattyjol, complete series, 44,495 words, 2 works. Friday Keeps Coming Next, rating: Teen and Up Audiences, no major warnings (temporary character death), 38,198 words, 10/10 chapters. Thursday Won't Ever End, rating: Teen and Up Audiences, no major warnings (again, temporary character death), 6,297 words, 1/1 chapters. Relationship: Kip & HR. 

On Cliopher's first day as imperial secretary, breaking the taboo of eye contact causes a perpetual time loop for Cliopher and His Radiancy. What could go wrong? 

The Virtue of Being True by electropeach. Rating: Teen and Up Audiences. No warnings. 15,685 words, 3/3 chapters. Relationship: Kip & HR, the Imperial Household.

"You're under an enchantment, Cliopher. The good news is that the protections his Radiancy has placed on you have shielded you; the bad news is that the protections that block the spell are also reflecting it, meaning that instead of you it affects everyone who comes near you. You may have noticed an unusual propensity for candor in your vicinity today?" (A reverse truth serum plot leads to Cliopher having a very strange day.)

The Ones We Call by Name by ketchupblood. Rating: General Audiences. No warnings. 7,222 words, 1/1 chapters. Relationship: the Imperial Household. 

He was the Emperor, the Sun-on-Earth, and the Lord of Ten Thousand Titles. For just a moment, he let himself hope that someone might dare to call him by name. Or: his Radiancy realizes that his personal secretary and the groom of his chamber are... friends.

Dispatches from the Junior Secretariat by wingedScribe. Rating: Teen and Up Audiences. No warnings. 62,321 words, 8/14 chapters (no cliffhangers). Relationship: the junior secretaries (Gaudy, Tully, Zaoul, Eldo, Iro, Iri), Kip & HR. 

Gaudy Vawen is leaving home to follow his uncle. Eldo Vardes is doing the same to defy his father. Zaoul wants to find the answers to questions only he is asking, and Tully wants to find problems only she can sort out. They collide in Solaara, where they find the Imperial Bureaucratic Service poised to aid the greatest transition in government since the Fall. And also, where they find themselves the somewhat-captive but very intrigued peanut gallery to the lives of both Cliopher Mdang and His Radiancy the Emperor. A retelling of parts of Hands of the Emperor through the the sometimes-comprehending, often-bemused, always-intrigued eyes of Gaudy, Tully, Zaoul, and Eldo as they grow and advance in the Service.

Epithalamion by oliviacirce. Rating: Explicit. No Warnings. 10,611 words, 1/1 chapters. Relationship: Kip/HR.

"Right," Zemius said. "So—when Dora asked His Serene and Radiant Holiness the Last Emperor if the regency ceremony was a wedding, it reminded me of something, and well, Kip, I don't think you're going to want to hear this, but the thing is—it was a wedding." (in which the Viceroyship ceremony was accidentally a wedding)

a buried and a burning flame by savrenim. Rating: Mature. No warnings. 16,538 words, 1/15 chapters. Relationship: Kip & HR.

Cliopher Mdang's hands were stained gold years before he came into the Emperor's service. (Or: the one where Kip went home after the Fall accompanied by Tor, a ghostly man, and returned to Solaara with golden soulmate marks on his arms.)

flies far, far home by nsmorig. Rating: General Audiences. No warnings. 5,576 words, 2/13 chapters. Relationship: Kip & HR. 

In Astandalas in the years before the Fall, far from home and desperately lonely, Kip makes a friend. If the Emperor can be a man without a soul then, logically, Kip can be friends with a soul without its associated man. (daemon au, albatross style)

Not a fic. A Fancy-Man and Foreign: A Case Study of Cliopher Mdang by Ariaste. Nonfiction meta, an analysis of the cultural byplay in The Hands of the Emperor. 9,909 words.

soon, they said, if not today by Ariaste. Rating: Teen and Up Audiences. No warnings. 44,417 words, 4/4 chapters. Relationship: Kip & HR.

Cliopher passes the Imperial exams on the first try. It changes everything. (In which Cliopher Mdang meets the Emperor two years after his reign begins.)

one for sorrow, two for joy by Ariaste. Rating: Teen and Up Audiences. No major warnings (warning: imprisonment). 35,528 words, 4/4 chapters.

The Emperors of Astandalas did not have daemons. Cliopher knew this could not, technically, be true. Thinking this thought, even in the quietest whisper in his deepest heart of hearts, was undeniably treason, but…. facts were facts: The Emperors of Astandalas, though worshipped as gods on earth, were each of them born a human being before they were apotheosized by the crown and by law and custom. Every human being had a soul; therefore, every human being had a daemon. So the Emperors of Astandalas must have had daemons. But by tradition and ritual and magic and taboo: The Emperors of Astandalas did not have daemons. (daemon au, manatura style)

hélouzithe, hélouzanth by nsmorig. Rating: Explicit. No warnings. 7,546 words, 1/1 chapters. 

In court’s long sleeves, the Astandalan greeting, gripping the forearms, might not involve any actual contact of skin, and Cliopher’s hands are holding his sleeves, but Cliopher is not in court’s long sleeves, and his fingertips spread across the curve of skin before the elbow.

Works containing At the Feet of the Sun spoilers that I haven't read yet but these authors are definitely skilled: 

dream only of stars and songs by electropeach, 70k words, 3 works, rating: T.

when every no turns into maybe by Ariaste, 30k words, 5/5 chapters, rating: T. 

Lastly: if you have any fic recs for HOTE, please add them to this post!

#long post #op #ruinconstellation recs #fic rec list #wow i haven't done these in a long while #the hands of the emperor #nine worlds #thote fanfic #hote fanfic

[glazemeda]

summary; you wake up in the middle of the night after an awful dream, and your lover is quick to comfort you. characters; kaedehara kazuha, tartaglia, scaramouche, xiao,, tags/warnings; short hurt/comfort, just some tears, hugs and kisses, spoilers for scaramouche's real name.

KAZUHA will wake up the moment you do, noticing your irregular breathing even in his sleep. His sleepy eyes are full of concern, and he has to stop himself from reaching out in case touch would only worsen your current state.

"Dove?" He kept his voice soft, as always. "May I hug you?"

He wants nothing more than to hold you until you calm down, but will understand if you say no. Kazuha will stay by your side, waiting until you feel ready to talk or go to sleep. He'll be happy to listen, to comfort or distract you, you just need to give him a sign of what you want.

"How about I tell you about our next destination?" He would ask while his fingers draw gentle figures on your skin, if you let him, wanting nothing more but to make you feel better.

He's extremely patient and understanding, and would love to help you fall asleep once again, but without any nightmares to interrupt your dreams.

CHILDE will wake up not long after you, his body tense and ready to fight if necessary. Your abrupt movements made him think that someone was there to harm you, that's his first thought. His attention is completely on you once he realizes there's no one else in the room.

"Hey, what happened?" His voice is slightly rough, but with a soft tone that he only uses for his family and you.

The harbinger raises one of his hands to wipe your tears, his touch feather-like. He will insist a few times, wanting to know what made you cry. But, he won't press too much, not at that moment at least.

"Don't worry, nothing can hurt you. I'm here."

Childe's used to comfort his siblings, and he's not afraid to show his softer side to you. He will hold you and kiss your head, letting you cry until you feel better.

SCARAMOUCHE is a pretty light sleeper, so he will most likely wake up if you move too much. He'll frown, mouth opening to complain and tell you to stop moving so much, only to close it after he sees your expression.

He's no strange to nightmares or waking up crying, and you never judge him for it. Therefore, he can't bring himself to be mad at you for disturbing his sleep.

"...Want to talk about it?" He isn't as soft, but he's still there to listen to you. He loves you and, even if he isn't the best at comforting others or being empathetic, he will try to help you calm down.

If you don't want to talk about your nightmare, Scaramouche will sigh, but offer his hand to you in case you need some physical comfort.

"You can cry all you want." He whispers. He's not a harbinger at this moment, nothing else but Kunikuzushi, the man who loves you and wishes to comfort you, even if he doesn't know how.

XIAO doesn't sleep, so he will be sitting near your bed, quickly getting closer as soon as you wake up with a sob. He doesn't know what to do, freezing for a few seconds.

He won't talk, afraid to make you feel worse, but he will listen to everything you say. If you don't say anything, he'll stay close to you, not touching, but letting you know that he's there.

If you need a hug, the adeptus won't hesitate as much as usual before he gently wraps his arms around your body, letting you cry against his shoulder. His hug is rather loose at first, but will become a bit firmer after hearing you sob again.

"I'll protect you." He murmurs, just loud enough so you can hear him.

He will do his best to protect you from nightmares and monsters alike, giving his all to avoid your tears, as it hurts him to see your smile disappear. Xiao won't move away from your bed until the next morning.

glazemeda 2022

#genshin x reader #kazuha x reader #xiao x reader #tartaglia x reader #childe x reader #scaramouche x reader

[usernu11]

Please Believe Me

Belphegor betrayed his brothers, he betrayed the lasting memory of his late sister, but more importantly; he betrayed you.

warnings* mentions of death; chapter 16 spoilers

tags* gn!reader, no pronouns mentioned, not proof read, angst, possible ooc belphegor

notes* this has been cooking up for weeks as a concept but got an opportunity to post due to an event goin on over on twitter

The thing that Belphegor feared the most was the possibility of you hating him.

You knew this for a fact; it's not like he made it hard to figure out anyway. He was insensately clingy when it came to you; always needing to be around you, touching you in some sort of way no matter how nicely you tried to tell him off. He was scared that you'd push him away for good; he needed to make sure that he was able to stay by your side. You knew this, the reason behind it, and yet. It pissed you off to no end.

He was scared? Belphegor, a powerful demon in his own right despite being the youngest, was scared of you? It was as if nothing had happened, as if it was always like everyone was always a big happy family. Even the rest of the brothers, they moved on as if it was nothing. You made a pact with him, got power over him, so that was it right? Everything was good, right?

"Belphegor, I'm trying to sleep." It was always when you were seconds away from drifting to sleep that Belphegor found himself wandering into your room and sliding into your bed. You were used the some of the brothers, mainly Mammon, cuddling up next to you at unreasonable times of the night. However, you always found yourself relaxing after waking up from their intrusion and drifting right back to dream land a little warmer and safer than before. That was never the case with Belphegor.

"Then go to sleep." The demons lithe fingers make their way around your waist, the tips digging into the fabric of your pajamas. The skin underneath where his hands lay raise and shivers at the contact. You wish he wouldn't get so close to you, you wish he would use his hands to make contact with you.

Your body always seizes and trembles when he's around but your temperature drops and your neck aches when you feel his hands on you. You know he can feel your body rejecting his entire being, and yet he still insists on this nightly ritual.

Sleep almost never comes until he forces it onto you, voice inches away as he sleepily chastises you about your poor sleeping habits. You only feel a sense of peace when his voice starts to feel farther and farther away until you think you're alone in your bed once more.

The first time it happened you were skeptically surprised that you hadn't dreamt about the awful memories of you meeting your end. You had tried to convince yourself that maybe you were overthinking the whole thing, that maybe you were suppose to have moved on and forgiven Belphegor. It took two more nights before you wised up, reminding yourself that these were demons; they might seem like family to you, but they were demons through and through.

You always woke up dreaming of the brothers. You woke up just when they all smiled at you, drowning you in love and comforting you awake. Your chest felt warm, but your mind was always icy cold. He was always there, in the background with a guilty look on his face. He was always murmuring apologies in between all of the ruckus, barely heard above the rest of the words flooding your senses.

Both you and Belphegor knew that he didn't deserve to be in those dreams and yet he conjured them up with himself in them anyway.

A coward, that's what you thought of him after the third night. You always glared at him when the dream appeared, never focusing on the brothers surrounding you and begging for your attention; you always look at him as you felt yourself start to awaken, judging and filled with complicated feelings. He stopped apologizing around that time, always looking down towards the ground and avoiding your anger filled gaze.

Tonight was suppose to be no different, and yet you awoke feeling sick. Your head was fuzzy, your chest felt dead cold and your pajamas were soaked in a thin layer of sweat that covered your skin. What unsettled you the most was Belphegor clutching you tight, your back was against his chest and both his arms kept you captive on your side within the bed.

Your brain wasn't working properly and you immediately could feel a sense of panic start to ripple throughout your body. You took deep, long breathes and held them for as long as you were able before restarting the process; you didn't want to break down, not while the person who was causing you the distress was right there. You go through your breathing ritual until you're able to make your body listen to you, a shaky hand slowly making its way towards your face in an attempt to rub the blurriness out of your eyes.

It's raining, you belatedly notice after a loud thunder strike breaks your concentration and makes it hard to breathe again. Suffocating, the entire situation was nothing but suffocating. Seeing as how it was still dark and the usual chatter from the brothers coming from the dining hall wasn't present, you must have woken up too early. Too early for Belphegor to have unwrapped himself from you, too early for the lie of a comforting nights sleep to play in your dreams.

A weak, pathetic whimper escapes before you're able to reign it in but it was just all too much. Of course you weren't sleeping well, of course the coward in your bed wasn't just trying to pathetically apologize in a roundabout way. Who did he think he was, your savior? The knight in shining armor shielding you from the horrors he caused? Did he think you would appreciate his efforts?

Too much, it was just all too much and you were sick of trying to accommodated his needs. Your body goes into a state of panic as you desperately try to wriggle out of Belphegors' grasp, tears are rolling down your cheeks and making the pillow supporting your head uncomfortably damp.

His hands only seem to tighten their hold on you.

"Let go you piece of shit, I said let me go!" You know he's awake, you know he's aware of everything he's done to you and yet he just can't let you go and it hurts. More than anything else it hurts. You're sobbing now, feet feebly kicking him in an attempt to get him to move; you know it's not going to work either way, if anything your kicks hurt you more than they do him. "W-Why are you doing this to me? Why can't you just l-leave me the fuck alone. I want nothing to do with you, B-Belphegor." His name feels like lead to say and you have to force it out while holding back the urge to vomit. "I d-don't want to be close with you, I don't want to forgive you. I don't w-want to like you. I ha-"

A sudden crushing tug against your stomach cuts you off, it makes you go dizzy as your mind visualizes the worst of situations. You don't want to die without getting it all out, without making him suffer just as much as you have.

"-rry." You can barely hear his words under the rapid beats of your heart that seem to come straight from inside your head. You don't want to listen to what he has to say. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, so please don't-" His arms loosen their grip on you, trembling hands lay resting against your stomach in a weak attempt to soothe the pain. You don't want to recognize the fear in his words, the trembling of his entire body; none of it, you don't want to process any of it.

"Shut up. S-shut up, I know you don't mean it. I know you're not saying t-that to me." You take the chance to rip out of his hold and crawl over the the farthest side of the bed; you rest your body against the cold wall, knees resting against your chest as you sit against it. Your eyes try and focus on the floor ahead of you, anything to get away from the situation, away from the emotions, away from him.

Belphegor makes an attempt to sit up and move towards you but stops as soon as he sees your huddled figure. He does nothing but stare for awhile, the sound of rain rapping against the window fills the room and fills it with a warped sense of calm. Even the thunder is a welcome inclusion; it helps block out the thoughts that refuse to leave you alone. It's as soon as your breathing is under control and the sweat gathered on your skin feels cold and gross that Belphegor feebly says your name.

"Is it the guilt? That you killed the last of what remains of your sister? Or maybe it's the looks your brothers gave you while they sobbed and cradled my dead body." You can't help the bite that edges your words, you're just left with nothing but anger at it all after the fear takes a back seat.

"That's-" He pauses, processing his words before he speaks again. "It's not just them. I regret what I did to you and I regret the pain I caused them."

A dry laugh leaves your mouth. "You sure don't act like it. You never listen to me, your torment me day and and out and you have the audacity to say you regret it. You don't even know me."

"I want to know you!" He suddenly screams at you, voice dripping with desperation. It unsettles you and the raise in volume makes you flinch; something he doesn't fail to notice. "Sorry, I'm sorry I just-" A breathe shaky and what sounds to be a sniffle. "I don't want to ruin it. What you have with them."

"Bullshit." You're glaring at him now, eyes barely able to make since of his features in the dark of the room. "They already forgave you, hell, they never stopped seeing you as their precious younger brother. The only one who hasn't forgiven you is me. Not once have you been honest with me. Not then, not in those dumb dreams and not even now."

Another flash of thunder passes and illuminates the room for just a brief second. You wish it hadn't, you wish you weren't looking at him as it happened.

You wish you didn't see the tears, didn't recognize the pained expression, didn't empathize with the torment that wracked him.

"I was scared. You were so nice, my brothers really seemed to like you as well. You came to me with innocent intentions, a pure soul and heart. I started to want to get to know you, I started to see you as something other than just a disgusting human." You want to block out the sounds of his sobbing, you want to block out his pain and pretend like you don't care in the slightest. "I took it out on you. I regret it. I'm sorry. I'm so-sor-" His voice breaks as he finally gives into the tears.

You wanted to hurt him, tell him everything he didn't wish was true when he's at his lowest. You hate him.

You hate him so much you uncurl yourself and move away from the wall.

You hate him enough to wipe away his years.

You hate how he crumbles at your touch.

You hate how you understand the 'why' behind his actions.

You hate how you don't hate him in the slightest.

You hate how you know how much he regrets it, how desperate he is in trying to show you how much he cares about you. You know he's hypervigilant when it came to how you reacted to him, how he knew to give you space but was deathly afraid of you pushing him away for good. He made you mad, he made you angrier than you've ever been in your life. He killed you and you will never forgive him for it.

You're aware of this and yet you care. Deep down you find yourself trying your hardest to understand and to not reject him because he was hurt, he was hurt and he hurt you in return. He's ignorant, he felt betrayed and he was alone. You'll never forgive him, he knows this. It's a permanent scar that will always linger between the both of you.

"You scare me. No matter how much I try and block it out my mind remembers how it felt to die. It remembers who did it to me." Your hands are covered in his tears and snot and you have half a mind to not comment on how gross it makes you. "I just want to process it and overcome that fear. I know you're trying to help but you're being selfish about it. If I say I need space then please give it to me."

Belphegor all but nods, heavy head leaning into your hands as if savoring the small amount of contact you've allowed him. You can't help but let out a sigh. "I really don't trust you very much. But I'll try, so can you try for my sake as well?"

"I will. I promise I will. Please believe me, just this once." His voice sounds weak and small and the way he's slouched makes him look like a little kid getting scolded by their parent.

It looks a little endearing. Just a little.

ao3 *** about me

#omweek2023 #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me one master to rule them all #belphegor obey me #belphegorobeyme #belphegor x reader #belphegor x you #belphegor x mc #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #om! belphie #om! belphegor #angst #chapter 16 #chapter 16 spoilers #usernu11

[wannab-urs]

Pedro Pascal Character Fanfiction Recs | Vol 31

AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist

Howdy folks!

New blog theme, new TSD format. Do we like it? Welcome to volume 31 of The Spreadsheet Digest, my weekly(ish) fic rec post. From now on I'll link my personal stuff plus the masterlist where you can find the actual spreadsheet, my fic rec masterlist, and info about how to appear on this list in the future.

All info provided by the author unless it was blank, in which case I filled it in.

Fic Recs Below!

Freeze-thaw

Joel one shot by @covetyou

Summary: With your holiday plans ruined when a freak snow storm blows through town, you spend the fesitve period holed up with your partner, Joel Miller, learning exactly how warm you can keep each other in the snow.

Tags: no outbreak, fluff, smut, fingering, playing in the snow, temperature play, Joel probs has super bad circulation, established relationship but it's their first Christmas together and reader has some relationship insecurities

This Barbie Likes Objectification

Joel one shot by @walkintotheriveranddisappear

Summary: after a fun date seeing Barbie with joel, he realizes a certain scene involving brainwashed barbie dolls has inspired some nasty desires in you. he's more than willing to help you explore them.

Tags: explicit sexual content (18+), no specified ages (but obviously both adults), objectification, degradation, humiliation kink, dirty talk, creampie, unprotected sex, dom!joel, sub!reader, slight spoiler for the Barbie movie

Patience

Javi P one shot by @foli-vora

Summary: Javier teaches you to be patient

Tags: smut: fingering, oral sex (f receiving), praise kink, p in v sex, unprotected sex (wrap that willy before getting silly), creampie, restraints/use of handcuffs, orgasm denial, smoking, swearing

Stay Close to Me

Jack one shot by @alwaysbethewest

Summary: You're a rookie agent sent to work undercover with Jack as a married couple!

Tags: Fake/undercover marriage! Statesman casefic! A little romance, kissing, coarse language, very mild peril and hurt/comfort, and a splash of alcohol. Reader is a junior agent and has some muscle but otherwise no physical/age descriptions. As with any good Kingsman fic, my first step was to disregard half of canon, so this is either pre-movie or an AU.

No Me Suletes

Frankie one shot by @fhatbhabie

Summary: Even though he's bad for you, you still can't let him go.

Tags: Marcus Pike cameo, smut, unprotected p in v, talks of oral, angst angst angst!!, being left at a chapel, cheating, death of a spouse, drug use (buggar sugar) , smoking cigarettes, asshole!Frankie, spanish dialect w/ translations, no use of Y/N, cute pet names, splash of fluff for 2 seconds, someone having a stroke with a small description, no happy ending

Poolside

Javi G one shot by @joelscruff

Summary: just some fun by the pool with sugar daddy!javi

Tags: blowjobs, deepthroating, brief ball worship, daddy kink, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, bad google translate spanish, sweat

"Din"scord Kitten

Din one shot by @beskarandblasters

Summary: When bounty hunting doesn’t work out anymore Din has to turn to alternative methods to support himself.

Tags: this is a crack fic lmao, Discord/Venmo/Dr. Pepper existing in Star Wars, bad sexting, dick pics, masturbating, bad Star Wars puns, sex work, cummies needs its own warning 😭, pet names (cyar’ika), oral sex (M receiving), cum eating, no use of y/n

Another Time, Baby

Joel one shot by @swiftispunk

Summary: joel makes good on a promise.

Tags: established relationship, porn no plot, smut, age gap (28/50), unprotected anal sex, vaginal fingering, use of a butt plug, joel miller eats ass and pussy and also has a big dick, some affectionate spanking, creampie, cum play (eating and sharing), a little bit of spit, just a lot of bodily fluids all around, one (1) poetic description of a queef, joel miller's filthy mouth, pet names, ysd!joel at his most soft dom, joel's also kind of feral in this, multiple orgasms, sweet sweet aftercare, pov swap. no use of y/n.

Suburbia (I gave it a lil name, sorry).

Lucien drabble by @julesonrecord

Summary: You can't stay away from him, nor do you really try

Tags: Explicit; angst; oral (m receiving); implied infidelity; past relationship. Suburbia (shudder).

Misunderstood

Marcus P one shot by @magpiepills

Summary: Marcus has a bad day at work and needs you to help him feel better.

Tags: SMUT, established relationship, PIV, oral (f and m receiving) fingering, big dick Marcus, multiple orgasms, thumb sucking, cum eating, cum swapping, Marcus eats it from behind, dirty talk, roughish sex, some degradation, tiny little splash of daddy, porn with no plot, no regard for canon, use of a tie as a leash sort of?, alcohol consumption, pancakes, cardigans, NPR, idk what else man, this is not fluffy Marcus.

Wrest Pin

Din series by BalletOrchard (AO3)

Summary: “I can help you escape the planet,” Mando said sharply, “But I want information in return.” She looked up at him through the small hairs on her face and she whispered, sounding almost lost…As if she didn’t know what else to say… “I have no information.” Something Mando did not believe.

Tags: panic attacks, force sensitive!reader, unprotected PinV sex, smut, mando is a dick, angst, slow burn (romantically), touch starved!din, bickering, arguing, post season 1, fluff, ofc!evangeline, she like doesn’t get off the first time they fuck which i feel like is worth noting, feelings of regret, minor character death (evangeline’s whole fam), follows canon, mando lowkey keeping evangeline against her will but like she’s hiding from the empire so, near death experience(s), the helmet comes off, oral f receiving, blindfolding, shower sex

A Weight Off Your Shoulders

Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Summary: a series of oneshots in chronological order that follow the story of Joel and his new neighbor who returns to Texas following a devastating breakup and called off engagement. With her life completely uprooted and her self-confidence shot, she works through moving on to bigger and better things. Enter DILF neighbor Joel Miller.

Tags: age gap (Joel mid 40s, neighbor late 20s), cheating, negative body image, negative self-talk, discussions of body image struggles

The Peg That Middle Aged Man Campaign 2024 Masterlist

Call for Pegging Fics!

PMAMC on AO3

Trussed Up - I pegged Jack Daniels

Happy Reading!

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