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choco-mark · 4 years

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A Marriage of Inconvenience (Epilogue)

overall pairing: mafia!jeno x mafia!oc

overall genre: angst | smut | fluff

warnings: mentions of violence + death, mentions of drugs + drugging + drugging someone else, mentions of sex

summary: when two mafia gangs decide to end their family feud after decades, your mother decides to give your hand away to marriage of their son, lee jeno. he seemed to hate you from the moment he laid his eyes on you, but could the resolution lead to something much more than a bride and groom?

words: 3k

masterlist

requested by 🤡 anon

1 December

Seven months. That was how long it had been since Jeno had slipped a band onto your finger and kissed you into a marriage that was once so...inconvenient to you. It was funny even thinking back to how the two of you treated each other with so much hostility only a month ago, acting as if a difference of family was so disgusting. It was funny, thinking back to when you tried to kill him with the very nice blades that the Lees polished every other day.

Your back hit the soft mattress and you laid yourself down against the material of the pillow that was now cushioning your head. But your brain didn’t seem to remember the exact moment your hatred for him changed into something else, and even as much as you traveled back into your memories, you never could really find the minute you had looked at him without thinking ‘oh, Lee.’ It made you wonder what changed, but the more you wondered, the more you understood. From all that you had witnessed for the past while, the one thing that hit you the hardest was that: Lee Jeno was just like you. As much as you wouldn’t had dared admit it before, you knew it now; you knew exactly how much the two of you had in common.

Your entire life you had been raised like bred puppy not to ever trust anyone with your life except for yourself, which often caused you to shun people immediately for the moment you saw this. If it wasn’t in battle, you had never found yourself the kind of person to make friends or casually talk, and when it was, well, you always just did the job that you were told to do. Your personality was an original cold person, the kind of person that wouldn’t want anyone near them that would cause their own emotional attachment. The only exception being family.

You could tell how close Jeno was with his family, and lately having confided in you very minutely about his feeling, how close he was with Donghyuck. It hadn’t occurred to him that his brother had been going through depressive episodes, which had caused him to have outbreaks of different emotions at different times because of the drugs that he had been abused with, not at least until the Lee doctor had diagnosed him in the dungeon that he had been locked up in. And according to him, it had hit him hard. Harder than he had expected himself to be affected by it. His relationship with Taeyong wasn’t necessarily the same, considering he had always had a certain hate for his younger brothers, but Mark? He had said that even if he wasn’t his brother, he would’ve still considered him as one.

You had told him that you—were somewhat similar, though, he didn’t need you to tell him because he had already seen that attachment towards Jisung the entire time that he was recovering. You had always seen it as a weakness, the way that family always was the soft spot in your heart, but the more you talked about it with him, the more you realized it was a strength. Your love for your brother was out of the roof, and he knew that as much as you showed it, and he assured you that it most definitely did not make you weak because you loved.

In the past few days, it had almost felt like you and Jeno had just passed a stage from strangers to friends, from the way you two were actually able to talk and train together. Well, counting out the fact that you had insisted you go to the training room and Jeno had sheepishly told you that his father had specifically asked you not to leave the bedroom for the rest of the month. It ended with you threatening to punch your—father-in-law in the face, and a few very angry knives being thrown at targets.

But Jeno was nice to train with, because he was like you in the fact that your training time was your therapeutic relaxation time. You didn’t want to be disturbed, and neither did he, and that made the perfect pairing. It only lasted till sparring, where you knew he lacked it, and you gave him a few techniques that would help him in the hopeful future. And Jeno, well, he had helped you with your rifle skills.

The two of you were—well—kind of forced to share a room, which allowed for eventful breakfasts and lunches and dinners that would consist of long, unusual, and unnecessary discussions. They were forever ongoing, and they varied from topics such as old comics to your lecture on feminism, but, it allowed for some kind of bonding between the two of you.

Jeno had eventually understood the reason why you were always so defiant against his father, and it did hit him that the Lees were always so discriminatory towards women in their household. He had said with a small voice and a slight smile that ‘one day, when I take over the clan, I’ll abolish the patriarchy.’ But, you both knew that day wouldn’t come for a while, at least, so you had to deal with it for the time being.

You had also learned that Jeno had a very high sex drive. Well, higher than you had expected. You already knew that he really liked taking that cock of his and stuffing you full, but what you didn’t expect was his easy submission. There had been one day where you had taken you chance and sat on his chest, and to your surprise, he had looked up at you with pleading eyes that made you want to sin. And the best part was when he asked for your validation, the constant ‘am I doing good?’ or ‘does that feel good?’ that would make your heart warm up in different ways.

Jeno was sensitive, too, and you hadn’t even noticed it until you woke up one morning to find him crying silently into his hands after hearing the news that one of his sisters were getting married. You were—expecting him to say that someone died, but the fact that his tears were for a happy beginning made you realize how much pent up emotion he had inside of him. You were almost glad to have witnessed him crying for something so...soft.

Jeno was understanding, way more understanding that it made you want to be more accepting of him as well. He had read your mind one night and had snuck you out to visit your home just for few hours, to reunite you with the rest of your family for just the result of your smile in the end. At least, Jeno knew what it felt like being kept away from his family.

You knew he visited Donghyuck everyday, who was now in the hospital wing being treated indefinitely. Though you couldn’t necessarily bring yourself to see the man who had abducted you again without feeling the flashes from before, you knew that it meant a lot to him that he go see him. Even if he didn’t tell you, Mark did, and he always gave you a little toothy smile and told you not to worry about him.

It was on the seventeenth of May when you had woken up with severe cramps and nausea that had caused you to vomit at the break of dawn. It was on that same day that Jeno had insisted that he carry you to the hospital wing with the belief that you were ‘dying from side effects of the oxygen depreciating drug.’ And it was on the same day that the doctor had widened his eyes and told the two of you that, no, you were not dying, but you were pregnant.

The first thing that had come to your mind was: I’m not ready for this. And the truth was that, no, you were one hundred percent not ready to become a mother and bring a child into the world. Jeno had stood there for what felt like an eternity with his jaw dropped until you had given him a slap on the thigh. Well, you shouldn’t had expected yourself to not be pregnant with all that sex and all that non-protection. Yet that was the outcome. But Jeno seemed to have expected it, and the funniest part to you was, he was ten times more excited than you were. Sure, having kids was definitely something you wanted, but having kids when you were nineteen and just married? Not really your cup of tea.

You had finally gotten enough of his anticipating words by the end of the next night, yelling at him with no rationale on the fact that you didn’t even want kids in the first place. That wasn’t completely true, no, but in the heat of the moment, you couldn’t take seeing him so happy about something that he didn’t even see as a burden.

But another thing about Jeno that you had learned was that, he was so selfless. He had sat down with you with his hands grasping yours the entire time as he let you pour your heart out about everything. You ended up crying, almost embarrassingly, but he assured you that it was okay. It was okay to cry when things don’t go the way you wanted.

Jeno was comforting, that was for sure. All he ever did was offer you comfort when you needed it, and gave you everything he could even when you didn’t need it. It was almost like he was sacrificing himself for you, and you didn’t even know why. Not until he told you.

You still remembered the day he did, he had let you sit on his lap in the empty training mats in mid-August, rubbing your thighs softly. You had missed training with him, and that was something he had forbid ever since you had started showing. The least he could do was take you to the scene, and enjoy it with you.

He had pressed his lips down your neck, trailing back up to whisper into your ears words that you truly, never would’ve expected him to say before. You had turned to stare at him for so long, and you had watched the anticipating shine of his eyes as he waited for your response. But, you felt the same way, of course, how could you not?

And everytime since that first time, you would feel like little butterflies in your stomach that would flutter around when he kissed you with those rose lips of his. Kissed you with all the love that he said and gave. And so you had told him back, so quietly, ‘I love you.’

What didn’t strike you was that Lee Jeno was a romantic. A romantic that he would never take credit for. You knew he wouldn’t, but he still woke you up to warm baths and feathered kisses, and he took you outside without his father’s permission to let you view the pretty gardens that were always locked to public view. He kissed you under the covers, and in front of his older brother. He did what he wanted, because he loved you, and he didn’t have to hide it any longer.

Donghyuck had recovered by early September, though having been warned caution by the doctor, Jeno still hadn’t allowed you near him. He had insisted that no, he didn’t have the same liking towards you that he might’ve had before, but he didn’t want to take any chances and put you in danger. You and your unborn child, as well.

But you visited Donghyuck in his room on a crisp afternoon later that month, having avoided Jeno as he had gone on an outing with Mark. It was funny, you thought, seeing him so unflirty and polite from the way that contrasted when he had his episodes before. He had even cried seeing your baby bump, and you could’ve sworn that was the cutest reaction you had gotten from anyone about your child. He was so different, but this was the Donghyuck that Jeno had told you was real, unlike the one that possessed him into taking another name.

Jeno had yelled at you after he came back, having known that you had left that room. And you, well, you yelled back. He had said that you shouldn’t have left. And you had said that he couldn’t stop you. It was heated, and at the end, you had realized: it was your first ever fight. And it was about Donghyuck.

You learned that night that Donghyuck was his half-brother, born from the same father but a different mother. It had been rumored, apparently, that his mother was a Park, at least that was what Jeno had told you. It almost made you laugh, thinking about that, because that man did have qualities that would stick him as a Park. He felt guilt, something apparently, that Lees didn’t feel. Well, it had been just a rumor anyway.

The next day you had awoken to Jeno pulling a bullet out of his arm in the lavish bathroom, and he had to lull you back to sleep with the promise that he was okay. You had learned later that he had gone out on a mission, and had failed to retrieve the said item that was needed, and his father had taken it out on him by shooting a metal ball into his skin. It wasn’t a bullet, per say, and it wasn’t nearly as painful, but it still caused an infection that made you want to barge up to that man and kill him right then and there.

Mark had told you that day that his father always had—unusual punishments when things didn’t go his way, though it seemed more like cruel to you. You hadn’t understood why your husband’s father treated his children as if they weren’t even his children, but a pack of dogs at his bidding to do whatever he wanted with them. It was disgusting.

In mid-October, that was when you realized that Jeno was infatuated with your voice. He had been concentrating on the move of your lips and the sounds falling from them so much that his listening wasn’t even listening, he had just been admiring your voice like it was something beautiful on its own. Even when you had gotten slightly frustrated with him constantly zoning out on your lips, he had just given you that cute eye-smile and kissed you, telling you that you’re gorgeous. That you’re gorgeous, and he loves you.

Jeno was—beautiful in his own sense, with a sense of absolute love and adoration for you that you noticed had grown so unbearable over time that you knew—the two of you couldn’t see a life without each other. You even laughed on that day he told you that, remembering back when the two of you were constantly at each other’s throats for almost zero to no reason. Now? You couldn’t even imagine what your life would’ve been if you weren’t forced to marry him.

Though at the same time, you could. You would’ve been living the same life as you always were, throwing blades and killing for victory. You would’ve been spending time with your younger brother the way you did before, training him and advising him about everything and nothing he needed to know. As much as you had grown to love Jeno, you didn’t think that anything to take over the meaning of Jisung in your life, and it made you tired to think that you couldn’t see him every day as you wished. But Jeno made it happen.

Jeno made—almost everything you wanted—happen. He treated you like a princess, not even, a queen like he sometimes said. He had never wanted to see you upset when you were with him, and if you did, there was always his constant strive to make you smile again. Even if it wasn’t easy. He had snuck Jisung out of the Park mansion on a Saturday night in November, and had woken you up to a brother you hadn’t seen in months.

And over all that time that you had gotten to know and fall for the man that you were formally married to, you had thought back to the day of your wedding and remembered how reluctant you were to marry him. Even back then, you were so weary of how Jeno had managed to make you feel in the time that he had saved you from your abductors, and you didn’t want to feel so weak around a man that had always seemed strong. You didn’t want to let him know that you were already falling for him, because you thought he was so different, but he—really wasn’t.

It had been seven months since you and Jeno had gotten married, and in another two months, you would be welcoming your baby daughter into the world. You had never imagined your life to take such a huge turn when you had entered the Lee palace all that time ago, with only the determination to find the people that had taken their liking for you, but...it had. Jeno hadn’t imagined it either, most definitely not when he found out he was marrying a Park, but he knew that his past self would scold him now if he knew that he was in love with a Park—and married to one too.

But that was where life had taken you, and you could only really hope for a increasingly better future. Both for you, and your husband. It might’ve been forbidden at first, maybe even so inconvenient, but you weren’t about to let it stop you. You would continue to throw knives at a flimsy dart, and you would continue to spar like the high ranked fighter you were. The two of you had made it work, with the best interest in mind as you started, and it had ended up with emotions much stronger than that.

Maybe, just maybe, life wasn’t such a burden all the time.

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i hope that cleared some things up!! and once again, thank you soo much for supporting my first real series on this blog. i hope you guys enjoyed the outcome of the story, and i gotta say that it took some twists that even i didn’t expect (haha), but here we are at the end! thank you!! ♡

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ace-in-a-shopping-cart · 4 years

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High School Rejects

Version 1

NOTE: I have been homeschooled my whole life and thus only have movies to go off for high school dynamics. I wrote two versions of this and couldn’t decide which was better.

Word Count: 2,149

Main Taglist: (Send an ask to be added or removed!) @starlocked01 @spoopy-turtle @lizluvscupcakes @more-fandon-than-friends, @i-cant-find-a-good-username, @vindicatedvirgil, @star-crossed-shipper, @justaqueercactus, @gayboopnoodle, @sanderssidesweirdo

Virgil ignored the shove he received as the jock walked past. Turning his music up, he opened his locker and grabbed his books. A hand nudged his shoulder and he looked up to see his best friend standing there. Not bothering to turn off his music, he simply signed at him. “What?” His expression conveying mild annoyance at being interrupted.

Logan smiled, signing back. “Are you free next period?”

“It is a free period.” He smirked, exaggerating the sign for ‘free’ to stress it.

Logan’s mouth opened in a laugh that Virgil knew would be silent even if his music wasn’t at the volume of a jet engine. Logan shook his head and pulled on his sleeve to get his mind back to the present. “Meet me in our spot, okay?”

Virgil nodded and turned back to his locker. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the cheerleaders sneer as they walked past, taking a wide berth around Logan. Virgil snarled at them, taking a protective step in Logan’s direction, even as he turned the corner. The cheerleaders passed and Virgil turned back to his locker, counting down the days until graduation on the calendar hanging on the locker door.

Logan didn’t deserve their scorn. Sure, he was mute, but that wasn’t his fault. He was born that way, and he was thriving. It shouldn’t matter that he couldn’t speak, he was the smartest person in class and everyone knew it. His report card more than proved that. Logan shouldn’t have to be shunned for the majority of his time in school, only getting attention when there was a group project that needed to be done. Even then, he got saddled with all of the work while the rest of the group went off and partied. Virgil smiled as he thought of Logan refusing to put the others’ name on a project they didn’t help on.

He slammed his locker, getting a similar wide berth as he made his way out the doors and onto the lawn. He smiled as Logan waved him over to their usual tree. Turning his music off, he slipped his headphones off and put them in his bag. He plopped down next to Logan, giggling. “How was your day?” He asked verbally.

Logan shrugged, leaning into him. “It was fine, I guess.” He signed. Virgil had to look down at him to make sure his face wasn’t scrunched up in the way that said he was being sarcastic.

“You wanna talk about it or just focus on this?” He pulled out a notebook with different star charts and things on it.

Logan grabbed the book and flipped to a familiar page: the list of horror movies Virgil had been working on in class. Virgil laughed. “I didn’t realize you’d seen me do that.”

Logan pointed at a title, leaning up to look at Virgil, eyes pleading. “Take my mind off school?” His hands said.

Virgil nodded, holding his arm out for a pillow as he described the plot line of the movie. He didn’t give away any spoilers, just told enough to give him a trailer. When that was done, Logan pointed to another title and Virgil did the same for that. This went on for another few titles before Logan finally sat up again. Virgil gave him his full attention.

“I want to ask you something but I’m nervous.” He signed.

Virgil smiled, wondering if this was what he thought it was. “If you’re asking if I wanna go back to your house to watch some of these, you don’t even have to ask.” He joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Logan shoved his shoulder, causing the boy in black to go sprawling. He laughed again, his head tilting back as the sunlight caressed his curls and bounced off his glasses frames. “No, silly.”

Virgil laughed. “Take your time, I’m here when you’re ready.”

Logan nodded, his hands twisting in his lap. After a few minutes of sitting there, he took a deep breath and raised his hands, starting to shakily sign. “Will you go to prom with me?”

Virgil’s brow furrowed in confusion. “I thought we agreed to go together if neither of us got a date for it.”

Logan shook his head, frustration evident on his expressive face. “No!” The sign was sharp, clearly a yell. He took a few breaths as Virgil sat up.

“Hey, no, I’m sorry. Take your time, I won’t interrupt again.”

Logan nodded and took yet another deep breath. When he was steady again, he signed the same thing again with a crucial difference. “Will you be my date to prom?”

Virgil blinked, having to let that set in for a few minutes. When it finally hit him that this was real and Logan wasn’t just securing his presence at the dance but rather asking him out on an actual date, a smile spread across his face. He surged forward, tackling Logan into a hug. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Version 2

Virgil hefted his backpack just a bit higher on his back, his playlist starting to wind down as it came to an end. He heard the distinctive slam of a person being shoved against a locker. Looking up, he found the familiar figure of his best friend with his back to the lockers, hands rising in a feeble attempt to block the blows coming his way.

Virgil rushed forward, dropping his backpack in the process. He squeezed between Logan and Felix, his back to Logan. He pushed his hands up, shoving Felix back. This didn’t do much against the quarterback but it did manage to get him to back up just a bit.

Felix just laughed and swung at Virgil instead. Virgil took the punch to the gut, doing his best to sign behind his back. “Go.”

Logan didn’t leave, instead he fisted his hand into the back of Virgil’s shirt, hanging onto the taller boy. Virgil tried to back out of the situation, tried to shuffle around so he and Logan could run, or at least get Logan to run. It didn’t work as they were just boxed in by another member of the football team.

Virgil made sure to cover Logan as much as he could, taking the blows on his back and head and arms. A few more hits landed, many of them glancing off but some still hitting in ways Virgil knew was going to bruise later, before a teacher came and broke it up.

“Hey, break it up!” A hand reached in between them and pulled Felix and the other players off Virgil before trying to pry Virgil off Logan. He cried out and held on tighter, crying to shield his friend as much as he could. The voice turned soft. “Hey, I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m trying to make sure you’re not hurt.”

Virgil finally uncurled from around Logan, still keeping a hand on him. Looking up, he found himself face to face with Roman Knightly, the gym teacher and football coach. “Then what are you trying to do?”

Coach Knightly sighed before he stood back just a bit. Behind him, Virgil could see the biology teacher, Remus Knightly, wrangling the football players down the hall. “I’m trying to take you to the nurse's office in a timely manner so I can stop my brother from giving the other students a taste of their own medicine.”

Virgil nodded, slowly getting up. He turned to look at Logan. “Are you alright?”

Logan must have noticed more concern on his face than he meant to have because he briefly put a hand on Virgil’s arm before signing back. “I’m fine. How are you?”

Virgil smiled. “I’ll be alright.”

Coach Knightly put his hands on his hips. “I think we’ll let the nurse be the judge of that.”

Virgil nodded, helping Logan up and grabbing their backpacks before the three set off down the hall. They were dropped off at the door before Coach sprinted down the hall. Virgil just shrugged and opened the door. The nurse turned around and smiled. “What can I help you with, kiddos?”

Logan took the initiative and started signing. “Coach Knightly dropped us off here.”

The nurse’s smile turned sad. “I’m sorry, kiddo. I don’t know any sign language.”

Logan looked at Virgil, who nodded and translated. “He said Coach Knightly dropped us off here.”

The nurse nodded. “Then why don’t you go ahead and hop on up on this stool so I can take a look at you, alright?”

Virgil blinked. “You’re not even going to ask what’s wrong?”

The nurse smiled again. It seemed the smile was almost always on his face, no matter the situation. “If Coach Knightly dropped you off, it’s probably another instance of the football players acting out. That’s all I need to know right now. So,” he clapped his hands, “who wants to go first.”

Logan immediately pointed at Virgil, who hissed, “Traitor,” under his breath. Still, he sat on the stool as requested.

The nurse stood in front of him, hands raised but not touching him. “Is there anywhere that hurts the worst?”

Virgil shrugged. “I guess my back.”

So, they stayed in the nurse’s office, getting fixed up. Coach came back after a few minutes, panting slightly. “Patton, so glad you know what to do.” He said when he caught his breath.

Patton laughed as he put a butterfly on a cut over Logan’s cheek. “Of course I do.” Like a switch being flipped, his voice changed from the warm and comforting tone he’d been using the whole time to a dark and dangerous one. “Now, what did I say about letting this happen again?”

Coach took a visible step back, fear evident in his eyes. “You said that you’d ruff me up worse than the student.”

Patton nodded, smiling as he handed both boys lollipops. “You two run along now. I need to have a word with Coach in private.”

Virgil took Logan’s hand and they left, walking out of the school entirely and going to their favorite tree. They sat down, Virgil propped against the tree and Logan laying next to him, head on his leg. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Virgil broke it.

“You wanna talk about it or just focus on this?” He pulled out a notebook with different star charts and things on it.

Logan grabbed the book and flipped to a familiar page: the list of horror movies Virgil had been working on in class. Virgil laughed. “I didn’t realize you’d seen me do that.”

Logan pointed at a title, leaning up to look at Virgil, eyes pleading. “Take my mind off life?” His hands said.

Virgil nodded, scooting down to lie next to Logan and holding his arm out for a pillow as he described the plot line of the movie. He didn’t give away any spoilers, just told enough to give him a trailer. When that was done, Logan pointed to another title and Virgil did the same for that. This went on for another few titles before Logan finally sat up again. Virgil went up on his elbows to give him his full attention.

“I want to ask you something but I’m nervous.” He signed.

Logan shoved his shoulder, causing the boy in black to go sprawling. He laughed again, his head tilting back as the sunlight caressed his curls and bounced off his glasses frames. “No, silly.”

Virgil laughed. “Take your time, I’m here when you’re ready.”

Logan nodded, his hands twisting in his lap. After a few minutes of sitting there, he took a deep breath and raised his hands, starting to shakily sign. “Will you go to prom with me?”

Virgil’s brow furrowed in confusion. “I thought we agreed to go together if neither of us got a date for it.”

Logan shook his head, frustration evident on his expressive face. “No!” The sign was sharp, clearly a yell. He took a few breaths as Virgil sat up.

“Hey, no, I’m sorry. Take your time, I won’t interrupt again.”

Logan nodded and took yet another deep breath. When he was steady again, he signed the same thing again with a crucial difference. “Will you be my date to prom?”

#virgil sanders #logan sanders #analogical #high school au #mute!logan #ace writes

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365days365movies · 3 years

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Western August V: Broken Arrow (1950) - Recap (Part Two) and Review

Where’s Jay SIlverheels, by the way?

This is, like, one of his most acclaimed roles, and he hasn’t shown up anywhere yet. Well, before he does, I should elaborate on why I care so goddamn much.

As I said last time, Silverheels was cast as Tonto in 1949, and became the most recognizable Native American or First Nations face in the United States. At the same time as him, another actor was working. His name was Iron Eyes Cody, and he actually also appears in Broken Arrow...somewhere. Cody made his career as a makeup artist...who specialized in redface. Yeah, that’s a weird-ass thing for a Native American actor to take part in, right?

Silverheels and Cody worked together on Broken Arrow, but Jay thought something was off. Still, the two went on in their respective careers. But they would go in two completely different directions.

During the time of Jay’s rise to fame, the Native American Civil RIghts Movement also began. This culminated in 1969 when Richard Oakes, LaNada Means, John Trudell (pictured above) and the Indians of All Tribes protest group occupied Alcatraz for 18 months. Yeah, the prison in the San Francisco Bay. It was originally native lands, so they took it back...until the government stepped in and ended the protest. But that’s a WHOLE other story. The point is, shit was changing. And suddenly, Jay Silverheels was enemy number one.

Like I said before, Hollywood and Native Americans never had the best relationship. Or even a good one. Hell, there’s a 1915 article written by a film executives that said they stole from film sets, but were trustworthy if provided tobacco and firewater, which is NOT AN EXAGGERATION AT ALL OF WHAT THAT DUDE SAID. And extending to Jay’s role of Tonto, Native American depictions in film were quite stereotypical. Broken and simplified English, savage behaviors and a misunderstanding of Western technology, headfeathers and hollering...you know, real racist shit. And since Jay was kind of the face of that to America...his career didn’t go well. And it REALLY didn’t help that he leaned into it.

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Look, Jay was a massive advocate for the Native American Civil Rights movement, and he made that well-known on every possible occasion. However, he also treated Tonto as more of a parody of himself, performing the role for talk shows and commercials, like this above commercial for pizza rolls. And yeah, people were NOT FUCKING HAPPY about that. Native Americans labeled him an “Uncle Tomahawk”, and he was shunned in the community. Meanwhile, Jay’s career was absolutely tanking, barely getting any rolls after 1970. To make things worse, he has a stroke that year. And to make things EVEN worse...let’s get back to Iron Eyes fucking Cody.

In 1971, Iron Eyes Cody was cast by the Keep America Beautiful organization as the “Crying Indian” in their Earth Day commercial. This is the most successful commercial in the history of television, and it launched Iron Eyes Cody into fame as the most recognizable Native American face in the country, if not in the world. He met three Presidents, the Pope, got a stamp, was nominated for statehood...just, ludicrous amounts of acclaim and fame. When asked what his tribal lineage was, he would claim that he was of Cherokee and Cree descent. Just like Johnny Depp did! Which is fitting, because just like Johnny Depp...

IRON EYES CODY WASN’T NATIVE AMERICAN AT ALL

Born Espera Oscar de Corti, he was an Italian kid from Louisiana. Yeah. This guy, this motherfucking guy, made his career playing pretend as a Native American. Remember when I said he was a makeup artist for films, making people look more authentically redface? Yeah, he did that as his job AND AS HIS LIFE. He would also always wear his Native American costume in public, which even Native Americans thought was fucking weird.

And Jay Silverheels KNEW this, by the way. He found out while the two were working together...on Broken Arrow. Which, of course, is why I brought this up. So this must’ve been a goddamn gutpunch for the poor guy. He’s labeled Uncle Tomahawk, while Cody’s being lauded as the best Native American actor ever, AND HE ISN’T EVEN NATIVE AMERICAN. Jesus Christ, this sucks.

Jay Silverheels died of a second stroke in 1980, at the age of 67. Iron Eyes went on to be on Mister Rogers, got even more film roles, and died a successful man in 1999, at the age of 94. There was an attempt to expose him in 1996, but that attempt got backlash from a fuckton of people, including within the Native American community. Only after his death was he finally revealed as the son of Sicilian immigrants who played a fake Native American for the cameras. And to be fair, he did give to Native American charities and causes, he was an advocate for Native American rights, and he at least raised the awareness of Native Americans to people who may not have known or cared about them otherwise. And yet, despite that...

Fuck Iron Eyes Cody. He’s still a dick.

Time to get back to Broken Arrow, huh? Here’s Part One if you missed it!

Recap: Part 2

After the gross-ass flirtation between the two the next day, Cochise arrives to tell Jeffords that he’ll allow the mail through, but nobody else. Jeffords takes the news back to Tucson, and nobody believes him. He’s given resistance specifically from John Lowrie (Robert Griffin), who bets Jeffords money that five mail riders won’t make it through. Jeffords takes the bet, and Milt Duffield is the first to volunteer to ride.

Duffield and four other riders make it through. But in the process, a military wagon train is ambushed by Chochise and his men and slaughtered. This seeming dichotomy leads the men of Tucson to believe that Jeffords is a traitor and siding with the Apache. In response, after a tence-ass altercation in a bar, the men mob together and IMMEDIATELY TRY TO LYNCH HIM JESUS CHRIST

He’s saved at the last minute by General Oliver Howard (Basil Ruysdael), who asks Jeffords to ask for a meeting with Cochise. He agrees to arrange it, if the peace-seeking General agrees to come alone. He does, as the General is actually a decent-ass dude. He’s not racist, and he believes that the Apache should be allowed their territory as well. Sick.

Also sick is the fact that the romance between Jeffords and Sonseeahray is going ahead towards marriage! Gross! Fucking gross. Cochise approves of this, and arranges it with the parents, despite warning them of the troubles ahead. However, that night, Jeffords is almost killed in his sleep by one of the tribesmen. Jeffords stops it, and Cochise intervenes, ashamed by the actions of one of his people. This is Nahilzay (John War Eagle), a rival suitor of Sonseeahray, and a traitor to Cochise’s word. So, to act upon his honor, Cochise kills him. Whoof.

The General comes for the treaty, while Sonseeahray prepares for their wedduuuuuuchh. Sorry, threw up in my mouth a little just then. Anyway, four days pass, and the men of the Apache Tribes have gathered to attempt a peace negotiation with the General. After a round of questions by the generals, the two Americans leave. And at this point, a dissenting voice rises. This voice does not believe the Americans. He says that the Apache don’t need this treaty, but need a new chief who is not softened to war.

But Cochise rightly notes that the Americans are growing in strength, and the Apache are shrinking. He puts it to a vote, and while some men leave, the majority of the Apache agree to peace. The leader of these men takes a new name: Geronimo (Jay SIlverheels). Sick. Geronimo and his new allies leave, ready to continue the war in the stead of the other Apache. But still, overall, there is a tentative peace that’s been struck.

But, of course, Geronimo doesn’t care about peace. He and his men ambush a stagecoach party, accompanied by Jeffords. But Jeffords is able to put out smoke signals that bring Cochise’s Apache to their aid, chasing off these renegades. Looks like the treaty’s working after all! I’m sure that it’s not gonna backfire even a little bit.

Anyway, the wedduuuuching between Jeffouuuughrds and Sonseeeewahray takes place and I stop myself from vomiting all over my computer. There, a wedding prayer is said, and that prayer has been mistaken for being an authentic Apache Prayer for 71 years. It comes from THIS FUCKING MOVIE.

Sixteen days pass, and the peace treaty is still intact. Jeffords and Sonseeahray wax poetic about their love, and I feel like burying my head in the couch pillows to GET AWAY FROM THIS. But that’s interrupted by the arrival of Bob Slade (Mickey Kuhn), the son of racist farmer Ben Slade. He claims that the Apache have stolen their horses, which Cochise doubts. Still, on Jeffords’ suggestion, they go to investigate. And of course...it’s an ambush by Ben Slade, John Lowrie, and their compatriots.

The men fire away, aiming for Cochise. They miss him, and instead hit Jeffords and Sonseeahray, who tagged along for some reason. Slade is killed by Cochise, who escapes with his life. The men realize how severely they’ve fucked up, and they take off for Mexico. Fuck you guys. Jeffords lives, only to see that Sonseeahray is dead. When Cochise returns to find Jeffords and the survivors, they also notice a still-living settler. Jeffords wants to kill him, but Cochise stops him, now fully believing in peace.

Although he grieves, he also recognizes that Sonseearray was a Girl in the Refrigerator all along, and her death has inspired TRUE peace between the settlers and the Apache. And...that’s it.

That’s it?

That’s...one of the most sudden and anticlimactic endings I’ve seen in a while. I’m a little disappointed, to be honest. But OK, before I get on a tangent, let’s do a full review, huh?

Review

Short preamble! I did like this movie...mostly. It’s kind of haunted by the whole underage love interest and the redface. Hard for me to see past that, BUT IF I TRY...I can acknowledge that this is a good movie. I didn’t even mention that it’s loosely based off of a true story! Yeah! Tom Jeffords and Cochise actually did have a relationship. It’s a VERY different story, but their friendship really did exist.

If I was gonna guess my rating ahead of time...I’ll go with a 76%-80%. But let’s see how that holds up in the breakdown.

Cast and Acting - 7/10: Despite the position he’s in, Jimmy Stewart still turns out a great performance in this movie. Sure, watching him kiss Debra Paget make me cry on the inside and outside, but he was good in the role of Jeffords, especially when up against the racist settlers. Jeff Chandler also manages to be good, despite the fucking redface. And Jay Silverheels...Jay was great, even though I thought his role would be more than a single scene. As for the rest...Paget was bad. She was not good in this movie, sorry. And everybody else was basically just OK. Nothing to write home about.

Plot and Writing - 9/10: This was a solid-ass story, and I liked almost every part of it...save the underage romance. Which, no, I AM NOT FORGETTING ABOUT. Dude, Jeffords didn’t do that in real life. So, for the love of GOD, why make his fictional bride fucking 15? Guys...gross. Really fucking gross, Albert Maltz. Other than that, you did a great job, I just wish that wasn’t a part of it. Ugh.

Directing and Cinematography - 10/10: Yeah, Delmer Daves is a legend. I thought of writing the into to these recaps on him, but I really wanted to talk about Jay Silverheels and Iron Eyes Cody. But I’ll get my chance; Delmer Daves also directed 3:10 to Yuma, so I’ll bring him up one of these days. Anyway, Delmer Daves does a great job with this movie, and it’s gorgeously shot. Ernest Palmer is cinematographer, and he also does an excellent job.

Production and Art Design - 9/10: Sure, the settlers look generic, but the Native Americans? Excellent costume design, with a lot of authenticity packed in there. Credit where credit’s due, here.

Music and Editing - 7/10: Well, the music is great here, if not extraordinarily memorable. Hugo Friedhofer does the composition, and he does a great job. But is it iconic? Eh. Not really. I don’t remember it having a massive impact on me, unfortunately. And the editing...is also OK. That ending is weirdly paced for me, and very abrupt. But J. Watson Webb Jr. does a decent enough job, I think.

That’s an 84%. Huh. Genuinely thought it’d be lower.

This is a good movie, don’t get me wrong. But it’s...complicated. I would recommend it with warnings, I’ll put it that way. Good, great even...but complicated. Outside of that, I have to admire the stance to put Native American tribes on a equal stance, respect-wise. For the time, and for the genre, that’s a rarity. So, as always, credit where credit’s due.

Next up, we continue our foray into the classic Western...but stick with Jimmy Stewart. I wanna give him a second chance. And hopefully, this one doesn’t include a romance with a fifteen year-old. Hopefully.

Next: The Naked Spur (1953); dir. Anthony Mann

#broken arrow #film:broken arrow #broken arrow 1950 #delmer daves #james stewart #jeff chandler #debra paget #jay silverheels #western august #western genre #user365 #365 days 365 movies #365 movie challenge #mygifs #my gifs

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the-enamorando-deity · 4 years

Note

I've always knew I was a masochist. Can I request number 7 with Nat? 🙃

aw veeeeee.... angst ahead toot toooot 🙃

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

See You Again

It's been a long day without you, my friend

And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again

You had been with Natasha for 2 years, 8 months, and 24 days. It was never easy, the closest you got to easy was falling asleep on the sofa to a movie you’d watched a hundred times, holding each other.

We've come a long way from where we began

Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again

You had been a secret for so long, you hadn’t ever even met her friends or coworkers. You felt like you knew them from how much she talked about them, but they didn’t even know you existed.

When I see you again

Damn, who knew all the planes we flew

The only exception was her best friend, Clint Barton, who you’d bumped into twice when walking with Natasha. He always looked like he’d just climbed out of a dumpster, which Natasha insisted was entirely possible.

Good things we've been through

That I'll be standing right here

The third time you met him, he appeared at your apartment door with a grim expression. You didn’t remember anything else about that night, or the days and weeks after.

Talking to you about another path I

Know we loved to hit the road and laugh

She was supposed to come home to you, she knew how much that meant after how you survived the first few years after the snap.

But something told me that it wouldn't last

Had to switch up look at things different see the bigger picture

You begged her not to go, you tried everything. You pleaded, begged, kissed her until she forgot her name, held her and dragged her back to bed to make her late, anything to make her stay, forever if you could.

Those were the days hard work forever pays now I see you in a better place

How could we not talk about family when family's all that we got?

When she left, you told her to come back or else, but you never gave in to what “or else” was. When she left you that morning, you had stopped crying, instead on the verge of ignoring her as she kissed your cheek, arms wrapped around your stoic body.

Everything I went through you were standing there by my side

And now you gonna be with me for the last ride

You wanted to beg her to stay, to knock her out and tie her down, but you’d tried it all. You knew if the world was going to be saved you had to let her save it. It wouldn’t work without her.

It's been a long day without you, my friend

And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again

You saw the look on Clint’s face, and you wondered if you were his only stop. He didn’t even have to say anything, you saw it all there, and you dropped to your knees with a weak cry. He was right beside you, feeling everything that you did and just as intensely.

We've come a long way from where we began

Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again

He held you, just like Natasha did, but tighter. Clint held his own emotions inside, and he would until it corrupted him inside and out, but you needed this. You needed to cry, and scream, and miss her.

When I see you again

First you both go out your way

When you moved out of the hallway, Clint sat on your sofa as you made coffee. Your hands shook as you handed him the mug, your legs trembling as you tried to find the strength to make it to your own seat. A question plagued your mind, you needed to know.

And the vibe is feeling strong and what's

Small turn to a friendship, a friendship

‘Where’s her body?’ you managed, on the edge of losing your voice from crying.

Clint swallowed hard, tightening his fists. He didn’t say anything, he hadn’t since he arrived. A nod when you offered coffee, shaking his head when you asked if he had to talk to anyone else.

Turn into a bond and that bond will never

Be broken and the love will never get lost

You were right, apart from him and the team, you were all she had in the world. She left you to save a world that never let her belong, that shunned her and turned her into a killer. A cold world, now cold again without her.

And when brotherhood come first then the line

Will never be crossed established it on our own

Silence filled your apartment after his terse “I’m sorry”. His eyes held something you didn’t expect, something you didn’t realise until later, but you knew then he’d seen what happened. He saw it all, and it was something he would never forget.

When that line had to be drawn and that line is what

We reach so remember me when I'm gone

You froze when you saw your bed. Not just yours, but Natasha’s. The room still smelt like her, and you didn’t know how long that would last, you took your pillow and clutched it tight to your chest, grabbing a blanket from the closet and heading to the sofa.

How could we not talk about family when family's all that we got?

Everything I went through you were standing there by my side

You had nothing except Natasha, your job meant nothing, your friends had moved on or been lost, and your family gone long before. The last good thing in your life had been snatched away by the world that condemned you both to live in pain.

And now you gonna be with me for the last ride

So let the light guide your way hold every memory

You sobbed into the night, not sleeping until the sun bore down on your cheek through the curtains. You didn’t know if it was hours, or minutes, it could have been days and you wouldn’t have cared.

As you go and every road you take will always lead you home

It's been a long day without you, my friend

Something woke you, a hard banging on the door, the frantic jingling of keys, your instincts kicking in as you rolled your baseball bat out from under the sofa, raising it as you blinked through sleepy and tear-stained eyes.

And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again

We've come a long way from where we began

The door swung open and a soaking wet figure clad in black burst in, knocking you both to the ground. You jumped up and swung the bat in fear, your heart stopping dead as a hand struck out and grabbed the bat before it hit them.

Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again

When I see you again

You yanked it away and went to swing again, when the hood fell back. Covered in blood and filth, shaking from cold, you saw sharp features with a soft and pained expression. Darkened eyes stared into yours, the shining bluey green striking you and knocking you on your ass.

‘Natasha?’

@marvelfansince08love @mymarvelwomen @imnotasuperhero

#asks #not anon #request complete #natasha x reader #nat x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow #marvel #songfic #fanfiction

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meganshinsou-tm · 4 years

Text

naughty or nice ➝ [kirishima x reader]

☙ naughty or nice prompt: new year claim

☙ cw/tw: angst, could be implied cheating but its not cheating, wrong place wrong time, a/b/o, heat/rut, simple speech/heat talk, knotting, blood, emotional smut, unprotected sex.

Time is strange.

It can be described as seconds, minutes, days, months and years. It can hold so many emotions, events, so much pain and love in any interval. The strange thing about time is how all those seconds, minutes, days, months and years of pure bliss, unconditional love, happiness, trust and bonding, can all be shattered and destroyed in under a second.

It was a year ago when that reality hit you and Kirishima like a fucking freight train.

The agency that Kirishima and Bakugou owned and ran together, threw a New Year’s Eve party every year for their employees and loved ones. And like the good boss that he was, Kirishima attended every single year and of course you were right there by his side. You had been by his side for five years and him by yours. You two were the couple among your friends and the cliche fated mates.

However, despite being together for so long, you weren’t bonded biologically just yet.

One of the things you and Kirishima had always shared were your hopeless romantic ideas and beliefs. You were waiting for the right moment, the right heat to make that permanent bond. And it wasn’t that you were unsure that the other was your life mate because that was one thing you were more sure of than death itself. Kirishima just wanted to make sure that that one moment you shared together would be the most unforgettable. It was a moment he was looking forward to more than an actual wedding and sometimes it would come before seeing the birth of your first pup.

But as Kirishima twirled you around on the dance floor and held you close, he knew that tonight was definitely the night that he finally popped the question.

His body was alive with excitement and nervousness, waiting impatiently for the two of you to get back home after the party. Change into your jammies and sit in front of the fire just in time to countdown to the New Year together. Share another first kiss of the year and follow it up with ‘will you be my mate?’

It was the perfect time to ask because your heat and his rut would be starting just a few days after. Being together for so long had your cycles synchronized and that only made the whole mating process that much better and easier to plan for.

Yeah - he was the fucking man! He had this in the bag!

“What is up with you Ei?”

Kirishima hummed and looked down to see you staring back up at him. A quizzical smile dressed your face, there was a light blush on your cheeks and glossiness in your eyes from the effects of your pre-heat. A constant purr radiated from your chest and vibrated against his own. Kirishima smiled back and kissed your cheek before nuzzling against your scent gland and purring in return. The two of you reeked with sweeter pheromones and were so much more affectionate, if that was possible, due to the ‘honey-moon phase’ of your cycles.

“I’m just really happy baby.” He replied softly.

Kirishima forgot to add nervous as all fucking hell and maybe just a smidge bit horny but that wasn’t important right now. What was important was his sudden need to pee.

He squeezed your hip gently and cupped your cheek with the opposite hand, pulling you in for a kiss that lingered long enough to garner a ‘get a fucking room’ from Sero in the background. When Kirishima pulled away he excused himself briefly, leaving you behind in a fit of giggles as you stormed towards the black haired hero with the threat of smothering him in kisses. Kirishima chuckled and exited the ballroom, unaware that he wasn’t entirely alone on his journey.

Some new rookie hero, fresh out of UA that just started at the agency decided to join him. She wasn’t his or Bakugou’s sidekick, she wasn’t anything to Kirishima. He had seen her rarely besides during the daily briefing meetings before their work days started. But she was crazy infatuated with him and a little intoxicated at the moment. And it’s that liquid courage that caused her to crowd and invade his space when he exited the bathroom.

Kirishima was thrown off at first, hands coming up to rest on her shoulders so he could push her a safe distance away. The brief wave of her breath that followed was all he needed to know that she wasted.

“Uh - Aiko right? You okay there,” he asked with genuine concern as she swayed to the side, “Whoa you seem a little woozy yeah? How about we go find your friends and get you -”

Kirishima’s sentence was cut off though when the girl stumbled again conveniently right into his arms and she took the chance she had to place her lips against his.

Red eyes went wide in shock and Kirishima found a grip on the girls arms again, but before he could get a chance to shove her as far away as possible and let out a very displeased scent, his ears picked up the sound of an all too familiar hurt whimper. His nostrils filled with the scent of burnt salt and withering rose petals and his heart dropped straight into his gut.

“No - no, no, no,” Kirishima growled as he shoved the girl away, “(Y/N) it’s not -”

Yet another sentence had lost its life once Kirishima saw you running away from him, tears running down your cheeks and a sob being muffled by your hand.

Bad alpha. Fucking disgrace. Unworthy of mate.

Kirishima growled with rage and a hardened fist punched straight through the drywall next to him. He panted and heaved, face breaking out in his quirk and claws becoming sharp as knives.

Unworthy. Unworthy. Unworthy.

The alpha inside of Kirishima was relentless in its scolding from the moment his feet finally moved from their spot and the entire time he rushed home in a panic. Not only were you absolutely fucking ruined because of him, but you were also alone, emitting low level heat pheromones and un-mated! Every single worse case scenario ran through his head as he ran red light after red light and he hoped and prayed to whatever god there was that you were home safe.

When he finally breached the front door of your shared home, his nose scrunched up and a low growl left his lips at the putrid scent of his omega in distress. It was suffocating and thick and it felt those times that Kirishima would go hiking with Bakugou and be gasping for air once they finally reached the highest peak of their journey. His alpha was highly unsatisfied and yearned to comfort his omega and his legs took him straight upstairs to the source of the scent and stopped immediately outside the barrier of it.

Kirishima tried to enter the small office that was deemed your own little safe haven but there was a biological barrier that wouldn't let him. He grunted, trying to budge even an inch, whimpering and crooning, trying to convey that he meant no harm but the scent you were producing overpowered his actions.

It was rejection. Pure rejection towards him.

Your body was balled up in a makeshift nest on the floor that was devoid of Kirishima’s scent. No clothing in it belonged to him, none of the blankets held any sign of him on them. You trembled and wailed into the pillow that you clung to, clawed nails digging deep enough to shred the fabric. You were so hurt, so distraught, and Kirishima felt like he was dying while having to watch it all.

Not only did your scent alone keep him from entering but the fact that you were in a new nest and hadn’t given him permission to step into it yet held him in his place.

“P-Please ... baby please l-let me in. It’s n-not what you t-think,” he struggled and fell to his knees, tears brimming his own red eyes, “God, p-please just let me in with you.”

“I - I can’t e-even look at you right now,” you managed between sobs.

Kirishima hung his head low between his shoulders, literally on his hands and knees, begging. You lifted your head finally and looked in his direction, both of you making eye contact and freezing. Your lips trembled, face littered with tears, snot, drool, runny makeup. Kirishima’s eyes were rimmed red and puffy, lips parted and silently mouthing out apologies and pleas to be heard. You were the one to break the stare and wiped an arm across your nose before standing to your feet and walking towards the door.

For a second, the alpha was hopeful as he looked up and went to rise to his feet. But that hope was shattered when you spoke again with a broken voice.

“Go away.”

Kirishima stood there looking at the stained wood before him. His teeth grit and he banged hard on the door, claws dragging down it as he let out a pained cry and slid back down to his knees.

“I’m so sorry,” he whined out and curled into himself on the floor.

Even though Kirishima knew you didn’t want it, he still pumped out comforting pheromones to try and help ease your hurt even just a little. Eventually you grew too exhausted from the breakdown and accepted it, letting Kirishima’s scent finally lull you to sleep. When he could hear your purring instead of sobbing, he let exhaustion take over his body. The alpha slept so hard that he didn’t even get a chance to stop you from leaving the next morning.

Kirishima woke in a panic, crawled into the open room to find the small nest on the floor empty. In the midst of rummaging through it he found a note.

‘Don’t send the calvary out for me, I’m fine. Going to stay at Mei’s for a little bit … I just need some time Ei. I love you.’

Immediately Kirishima was pulling out his phone, calling you and trying to reign in his highly pissed off alpha.

“Eijirou I -”

“Please come home! You can fucking shun me all you want until you’re ready to talk, I don’t care! But please, I’m begging you (Y/N) just come back … y-your heat is in just a few days baby!”

Kirishima heard a small whimper on the other end. A bout of silence dragged on before you finally spoke up again and Kirishima swore he could hear both of your hearts shattering at the same time.

“I know.”

For the first time in years, you and Kirishima spent your heat and rut apart from the other.

Taking out the last suitcase from the vehicle, Kirishima closed the trunk door with a grunt and turned around to look at you.

“I think that’s everything.”

You wrapped a hand around the handle of your luggage and looked around before turning your attention back to Kirishima. A smile small crossed your face and your opposite hand reached out for his own. Happily he took it inside his massive hand, giving a light squeeze as he leaned down enough to lick your cheek and nuzzle it with the tip of his nose.

You giggled and started to purr when he shrouded you in his scent, not caring that small hints of arousal intermixed with it. Kirishima trailed his nose lower towards your scent gland and placed a small lick to it with a low rumble from his chest.

“Ei,” you whined quietly, feeling your skin prick with a wave of warmth before shaking your head and pushing the alpha away playfully, “Down boy! I wanna get at least one spa day in and some rest before you go all energizer bunny on me!”

Kirishima chuckled and gave a soft nip to your cheek before wrapping his free arm around you, his opposite hand grabbing his suitcase. You melted into his side and walked in step with the alpha towards the front doors of the resort you arrived at.

“Yes ma’am.”

Once inside, you continued to stay glued to Kirishima’s side while he talked with the front desk clerk and went about the process of checking in. Your eyes and head moved in order to take in the new surroundings and new scents. Your heat was only a few days away so everything about your body was hyper-aware and sensitive.

Just a few days before Kirishima had surprised you on Christmas with a long planned trip to this place called Astoria. You were very aware of what it was and also very aware of how extremely expensive and high in demand it was!

Astoria was the resort most soon to be mated or mated couples sought out to spend their heat-shares so it was a very popular spot. But apparently, Kirishima had been saving up for a two-week stay at Astoria every since his very first job back in middle school. Once again, Kirishima was an utter hopeless romantic and since he was a young pup, he had always dreamed of bringing his future mate to such a place. Once the two of you first met each other, he always knew you would be the one he’d spend that trip with.

The place was located up in the mountains, nestled away from any nearby city. The scenery was breathtaking, the ground and plant life covered in thick blankets of fluffy white snow, a couple breeds of wildlife could be spotted all over prancing about. There was zero sign of any loud noises such as sirens, cars honking or trains speeding by. It was what you imagined heaven on earth to be like.

With a happy purr, you turned your attention back to the front desk clerk, listening in with Kirishima as they explained the amenities and services the resort offered.

Astoria had plenty of spa services such as full body massages and masks, facials, waxing, saunas and such. There was even an on-site chiropractor! A five-star restaurant was also on the premises. And along with the room service, Astoria offered meal plans that you could set up before your heat and ruts started, guaranteed to be delivered to your room however many times you needed a day at scheduled times. Aside from those services, the rooms themselves offered plenty of bonuses.

Each of them were padded well to help block out any scents from leaving or entering the rooms, it also helped to make them sound proof for obvious reasons. Housekeeping was on hand at all times eager to replace linens, towels, offer whatever they could to help make your stay as comfortable as possible. And of course the rooms held their own mini fridges that stayed stocked with water and healthy hydrating energy drinks.

Once you and Kirishima were given the full run down, menus and forms for your meal plans and room keys, you thanked the clerk and started towards the elevators in search of your room. You couldn’t help but feel giddy and excited to unpack and venture around the place with your alpha. Kirishima himself was practically purring as he held you close in the elevator and kissed the top of your head.

You happily wrapped your arms around his waist, nuzzling close to his side and scenting the other with pure blissful pheromones.

This trip was something you both deserved after the year you had.

It was going to be the perfect way to celebrate how hard the two of you worked to right the incident that nearly cost your relationship the year before. If it weren’t for your biology, things would’ve gone back to normal the second you finally gave Kirishima a chance to explain what happened but unfortunately that wasn’t the case.

After that awful night Kirishima was finally able to explain what happened a few days later when you finally met face to face at a cafe. Right off the bat, you knew Kirishima was telling the truth, you didn’t need evidence of it, just knew. Kirishima would never purposefully hurt you, shatter everything you had built together - it was always so obvious how he was so unconditionally in love with you, just like you were with him.

It still hurt of course and biology was a bitch.

Even though you both made up in your minds and hearts, his inner alpha and your inner omega were still distant. Your omega thought it was rejected and unwanted, Kirishima’s alpha felt like it was unworthy. Everything was thrown off and shattered and had to be rebuilt. It didn’t happen overnight, you knew that, but you loved each other so fiercely and were determined to get through it together.

That day, you scented the other before leaving the cafe and it didn’t feel the same. What was once the most treasured interaction you had, felt unfamiliar and you hated it, you both hated your stupid biology for doing this. You couldn’t help the tears and quiet cries that escaped as Kiri held you close, whispering promises that it would be okay, that it was only temporary.

You went back home that night and the process began.

Even though you chose to still sleep in the same room, Kirishima slept on a cot at the end of the bed. The bed was your nest - it was where you shared everything together and it had your claim to it. Understandably Kirishima wasn’t welcome there anymore … at least not just yet.

Over the months though everything started to pay off. Your scents started to blend again without a hint of uneasiness or fear. Scenting finally started to feel like breathing again and you no longer cried but giggled when Kirishima tickled and teased you sensitive glands with his nose and long lashes. Eventually he was welcomed back into your nest and Kirishima finally felt at home. You felt at home.

When it came to your heats and Kirishima’s ruts after missing one together, it was rough.

The two of you were so out of sync with the other after just one fucking missed cycle and it only made your heat pains worse and made Kirishima’s alpha feel like he couldn’t provide for you. The amount of tears those days of your first heat-share together again easily outweighed the amount of slick and cum. But like everything else it slowly became better. Every other month you started to get back into sync. Each cycle brought new want and desire for the other, less tears, less pain.

Your last cycle together was one of the best - both your omega and Kirishima’s alpha finally started to bond again.

So for your last and final heat of the year, Kirishima decided to give his plan one more go and hoped and prayed with everything he had that this year it would go the way it should’ve the year before. And when you happily said yes to not only the trip but also to being his life mate, tackling him to the floor like an overexcited puppy - Kirishima and his alpha were over the moon.

After getting settled into your room and unpacking, you and Kirishima had immediately set off to explore Astoria. That entire day and night was spent getting pampered at the spa with the whole nine yards of self care, leaving the two of you purring loudly together when you finally left and went back to your room. Happy pheromones rolled off the two of you in thick waves uncontrollably without a single care.

You were so relaxed and felt boneless that it didn’t take long for you and Kirishima to pass out for a long nap on the bed. A few hours later you woke up starving and decided to shower together and get dressed to go try out the on-site restaurant. Both of you ate enough to feed an entire army and passed out yet again when you returned to the room.

Your next two days were spent going on walks on the trails set up in the woods, hitting the spa again and acting like teenagers at the on-site arcade. When it came to your fourth day, the two of you were actually pretty tired and decided to stay in the cozy room and nap between the room-service binge eating sessions. Your heat and Kirishima’s rut were getting closer and it seemed logical to start preparing for it because it would probably only be another half a day before they hit.

Currently, you were cuddled up together under thick covers, purring happily and nosing at the others neck like a couple of overly affectionate puppies. It was nice to just roll around together with playful bites and growls, fingers teasing and tickling at the other’s sensitive spots. With your cycles being only a few hours away it made your scents more potent and intoxicating to the other, had your skin feeling warm and flushed with a tingle underneath.

When you managed to straddle Kirishima and pin his hands to the pillow underneath him, fingers intertwined, you let out a satisfied yip and leaned down to lick at his cheek.

“I win.”

Kirishima smiled wide and chuckled with a nod. He took in a deep breath, picking up on the slightest scent of slick from you and his alpha growled lowly. You smirked down at him and released his hands, nails dragging lightly down his palms and forearms, earning a continuous deep purr from Kirishima as they continued across his shoulders and chest.

“How much longer do you think we have,” you asked softly.

“Maybe only till the early morning - if we’re lucky. I think with us being so fucking relaxed right now though it might hit us sooner if we don’t hold it back.”

You hummed back in agreement, leaning over to rest your head against his chest and listened closely to his heartbeat and purr.

“I think I might try to go get an hour in at the gym, maybe run a bit on the treadmill first, we also need to fill out those meal plans while we’re still able to think.”

“You can do that while you’re down there at the gym then, you know what I like,” you smiled and nipped at his chest, “While you’re out I’ll get my nest made and take a bath before you get back.”

Kirishima smiled and pulled your face to his and gave you a soft lingering kiss, using the distraction to toss you off of him and onto the bed, his body quickly hovering over yours and his lips tickling your face and neck with kisses.

“I win!” He chimed before hauling himself off the bed, you chasing after him with a slew of curses.

After a few more minutes of playing, Kirishima changed into his gym clothes, grabbed the paperwork needed to arrange the meal plans and headed out. Immediately you got to work on the nest, pulling out the small bag packed full of your favorite items that were saturated in the scents from home and of Kirishima. There was one particularly fluffy blanket, a few shirts of his that he worked out in all the time, they were clean of course but he used them so much that hints of his musk stayed in the fabric. The room itself also offered plenty of fresh blankets and pillows in the closet specifically for nesting and you added those into your items.

Nearly thirty minutes later you stood at the end of the bed, hands on your hips and a smile on your face, satisfied with the structured mess you made. Every omega’s nest was different, some were tight and neat, others just jumbled piles. Yours was a bit of both. There was a prominent ring that had to be crawled over, the blankets and pieces of clothing laid out all about it in layers that made it look like the fluffiest place on earth.

Happy with your creation, you moved into the bathroom and ran a hot bath.

An hour later on the dot Kirishima returned. He huffed and wiped the sweat from his brow as he crossed the room. He saw the bathroom door was closed and smiled at the signature nest made on the bed. Kirishima was always so proud of the effort you put into making them, he knew it was no easy job and was also very meticulous.

His fingertips ran along the barrier of it as he made his way to the balcony attached to the room. Leaving the door open, he rested against the railing with a bottle of water and looked out at the snow-covered scenery, thankful for the cold air that hit his overheated skin. The hour of gym time helped to bring his adrenaline down and calmed his alpha, keeping the literal beast at bay for at least another hour or two at most.

A few minutes later the sound of the bathroom door opening caught his ear, along with your thick scent. He growled to himself, taking a controlled breath to calm down before turning around to see you wrapped in a towel. You smiled at him but it fell quickly when your knees suddenly gave out with a gasp.

Kirishima was by your side in seconds, catching you before you could even touch the ground.

“Shit, you okay baby?”

You cleared your head with a shake and managed a smile at him, hands holding onto his shoulders while he helped you stand back up straight.

“I’m fine Ei, the wind just … your scent.”

“Shit I’m sorry - I forget how potent I can be after a workout,” Kirishima chuckled.

You purred when his large palm cupped your cheek, the other against your warm neck. His thumb brushed along your scent gland and you melted into him. Arms wrapping around his waist and face burying into his drenched with sweat shirt. He let out a laugh and kissed the top of your head.

“You smell so good Ei.”

If Kirishima didn’t have immense control over his alpha and hadn’t just ran his fucking lungs out on the treadmill, he may have mounted you right then and there. You reeked of arousal and slick, hands wondering his body desperately while gasping ‘alpha’ like a mantra. After a couple more seconds, Kirishima lifted you from the ground and you moaned at the roughness of it. Your arms and legs wrapped around him, hips already rolling in a frenzy for friction against his broad body and half hard cock.

“Calm omega, not yet,” he crooned against your cheek while turning to the bed and laying you down in the nest.

Only his top half was in it as he leaned over and rubbed at your side gently. His nose ran along both sides of your neck before he took your wrists and brushed them against his glands - scenting you just enough to bring you back to your senses.

You breathed heavily and Kirishima helped to remove the towel from your body. The balcony doors were still opened and the cool air helped to cool you down.

“Give me just five minutes to shower baby,” he spoke while going to the mini fridge to grab you a bottle of water and a small snack, “Drink and eat this to hold you over and when I get out I promise you won’t have to wait anymore ‘cause I’m sure we’ll both drop in no time.”

You nodded and took the items, earning a kiss and ‘I love you’ from Kirishima before he left your side and slipped into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

When Kirishima finished his shower and entered into the room again, instantly he was hit with the scent of omega in heat.

It was stronger than usual and caused him to stumble, hand holding himself up against the bathroom door frame. His head hung low and he breathed heavily, mouth watering and his quirk rippling under his skin.

The air was so thick with need, arousal, desperation and … distress?

Kirishima suddenly panicked and he looked up, frozen in place once he saw you trembling on the bed with the heels of your palms pressed firmly to your eyes to try and stop the flowing tears and quiet sobs. It caused Kirishima to bolt towards the bed, only to halt abruptly at the edge of it.

The nest.

It was new and he didn’t have full permission yet to enter it.

“B-Baby will you let me in, please. You gotta let me in!”

You whimpered from hearing his voice. Even though it was right there, it felt miles away. Desperately you wanted to let him ... except your omega suddenly felt rejected all over again. Somehow in the short span of time he showered, your crazed pre-heat brain had your omega think he left you, rejected you again. And that hurt and rejection was overpowering any logical thinking.

Kirishima could only stand there helplessly on the outside, body trembling with need to comfort his omega and sad croons leaving him. Still he pumped wave after wave of his scent, reassuring and comforting and thankfully it was enough to give you clarity for a second.

You nodded quickly and cried out his name.

Instantly Kirishima invaded the nest, hovering over you protectively with his massive body. His elbows caged your head in between him and hands pulled yours from your face. He nuzzled the glands on your wrists, pressing his cheek to them, kissing them, wiping them against his own neck. Kirishima did everything in his power to smother you in his scent. He crooned again, nosing at your cheek and kissing it while he managed to move your bodies and have you held tight and close to his chest and in his lap as he sat against the headboard.

Your faces buried in each other’s neck and his scent, his hold helped to calm your omega and reel it in.

“A-Alpha left … don’t want omega again.”

Kirishima gasped, heart shattering and he choked on a sob, realizing what happened. Clearly your omega panicked without his constant presence in such a dire fucking time after what happened a year ago. He shook his head and cupped your face in his hands.

“No baby, that’s my fault. I’m so fucking dumb I - I should’ve left the door open or something,” he apologized and kissed at the tears streaming down your face, tongue slipping out to lick them up and clean your skin of them.

It helped and you deflated at the care and love in the action. He was trying to help you heal. It helped to clear your head and let you breathe, let you think.

“E-Eiji-” is all you breathed before desperately reaching for him and pulling him into a kiss,

You both growled and cooed, holding onto each other so tight that your nails buried into the others skin but the pain was nothing.

You broke the heated kisses in between with more cries and gasps for air while shamelessly rutting against Kirishima’s cock that quickly grew heavy and hard, throbbing. His teeth bared and he hissed, bucking his hips up. You produced so much slick in his lap, the feel and scent of it clouding the alpha’s mind and senses, making him desperate to be inside of you so much that it hurt. Kirishima full on whimpered and you whimpered back in response, feeling the same pain.

Soon enough, the two of you rutted so fiercely against each other that his cock slipped easily through the mess and popped inside of you without any resistance.

“E-Ei - fuck,” you cried out at the intrusion and sudden feeling of being so stretched out and full.

Kirishima groaned and growled loudly, hands gripping your hips and head falling to your shoulder. His hips fucked up slowly and yours rolled into him, meeting his pace.

Feelings of lust and sadness consumed you both and it was … strange.

There was this burning itch in both of your guts that wasn’t even close to being shaken, even with his cock buried inside of you and slowly fucking up into you. Even as you clenched around Kirishima so tightly that it took his breath away. It felt like you were chasing something that you were so close to, that you could fucking taste and smell but when you’d get a hair away from it, the smallest shred of a barrier kept you from it.

“Baby … I-I …”

It wasn’t until you heard the breaking and equal sadness in Kirishima’s voice that it finally hit you. You whimpered and let your forehead rest against his, shoulders shaking as you breathed out.

“I’m … I’m so scared Eiji.”

“... I know, I am too.. “

The admittance of fear from the both of you felt like a giant wave a relief suddenly. The invisible barrier started to crack.

You looked at each other, both with tears and knowing small smiles. Kirishima crooned and took your face in his giant hands, holding you steady and to the earth, to him. There were sighs and growls, whimpers and coos as you still slowly and deeply fucked yourself on him. Kirishima grit his teeth and shut his eyes closed tight, making the globs of tears roll down his cheeks.

“I .. I’ll always be so - so sorry for what happened.”

“Y-You didn’t do -”

Kirishima growled and bucked his hips up roughly, cutting you off and making you yelp.

“That doesn’t matter (Y/N), your omega, my alpha, they still … they still hurt. They’re still both scared. Right? You’re scared that you’re not good enough - that I don’t want you?”

You whimpered with a nod, hands roaming up his thick chest and wrapping around the sides of his neck.

“And I’m scared that I don’t deserve you, that I can never be worthy of you ever again because what alpha hurts his omega - makes her cry and feel unwanted?”

Your head shook and you tried to scent Kirishima, showering him in your pheromones, purring and nuzzling against his scent gland. He accepted it all without question, happily drowning himself in it.

To Kirishima, it was like standing at the shore of a beach. The smell of sea salt was so strong that he could taste it on his tongue when he licked a stream of tears that reached your neck. It was like swimming, floating in ocean water side by side with thousands of rose petals - the rich subtle sweet scent of them balancing out the salt. It was perfect, it was home - it was you.

Tears ran off his lashes onto your shoulder.

“I love you so much baby … and I’m so sorry you hurt because of me but I promise, I fucking swear on my life - I’ll never let you hurt again. You were meant for me remember, you’re my fate.”

You purred and cried quietly into damp red hair, wrapping your arms around Kirishima and holding him close as he held you the same with his face in your neck.

“C-Claim me then ... seal our fate.” You breathed out with a slow and softly demanding roll of your hips that rendered you both breathless.

Kirishima’s fangs ached instantly and his knot started to form. His alpha reared its head at the sweet demand. There was no question in it, it was an order. His mouth watered more on your neck to the point of drooling and he teethed at your gland, wanting so badly to sink into it. You whimpered and trembled in his lap, becoming sloppy as you still helplessly tried to fuck yourself on him.

The corner of Kirishima’s lips quirked up into a brief smile and he grabbed your hips, stopping them and taking over.

You whimpered and pulled away, looking down between the two of you to watch his hips fucking up at a steady harsh pace that increased in speed only to slow down for a few thrusts before speeding back up again with the help of his hands bouncing you up and down on his cock. Kirishima kept it going that way for a while, panting heavily from how thick your scent was and the lewd moans you let out at watching him disappear in and out of you.

He growled from the feeling of his knot catching on your cunt - slipping further and further with each thrust. You moaned and whimpered pathetically, hanging onto his shoulders and digging your nails into them. Your skin was flushed all over, hot and damp with sweat and tears. Your chest heaved erratically from breathing so hard and crying.

Your eyes locked with his - irritated and red rimmed but still so beautiful. There was no color left in them, nothing but black iris’s blown wide.

“P-Please alpha - claim me,” you panted and leaned in, offering your neck to him, “Need y-you, need to be yours forever.”

“O-Only if omega claims too. I need you so much more.”

Kirishima growled and let his own scent go without restraint, offering his neck. His alpha was submitting in return, wanting to become equal.

Your eyes lidded and you took in lungfuls of fresh rainwater, feeling like you were caught in a heavy downpour of it, soaked in it. It wasn’t cold rain but so warm and sharp with a hint of crisp lemon and ginger that made you melt and purr constantly. The scent was reassuring and protective, it was Eijirou and it was all yours.

Finally - a smile started to form across your face, small hands taking rough looking yet soft to the touch cheeks in their hold.

You looked into equally blacked out eyes, glossy and soft, and so full of love. Another tear fell down your cheek but Kirishima knew it wasn’t full of hurt, not full of fear. It was happy.

The two of you licked each other’s cheek and purred together. The purrs turned into desperate moans once that barrier had become totally broken down and you were able to finally taste what you needed all along.

“K-Knot - alpha please. Need knot … need claim - fuuck, need to be all yours. Please alpha, please!”

Kiri started to growl, slamming you up and down on his cock with more vigor, panting and drooling as his knot was closer and closer to locking inside of you. His balls tightened and ached, cock throbbing and ready. He tilted his head to the side, teeth just barely sinking into your gland before he pulled away to command breathlessly.

“Omega claim first.”

You trembled, the whimpers and moans leaving your mouth were choked off from how hard and determined Kirishima was fucking you. You managed to nod and buried your face in the crook of his shoulder, taking one more lungful of his beautiful scent in and licking the gland before sinking your canines into it. Kirishima was fucking thick with muscle everywhere and you had to put more drive into the bite. But the second his massive knot popped inside of you, it helped you drive your teeth deeper and you locked your jaw - successfully claiming the alpha.

Kirishima threw his head back against the headboard, nails digging deep into your hips and fingers gripping, bruising and scratching the skin of them as he emptied inside of you with a loud cry. You whined when liquid warmth filled you, cunt clenching around the fat knot and milking it desperately.

You gasped for air after releasing Kirishima’s neck and licked your blood covered teeth. Arms wrapping around him and holding him close as your head fell to the side with a whimper.

“Alpha -”

Kirishima was on you before you could even finish, strong scarred arms holding you close while canines sank down and locked tight onto your gland. You came hard with a high pitched wail, fingers carding through red hair to grip tightly at his roots and body going rigid in his hold before falling limp. Kirishima hummed and nuzzled his face deeper before releasing, chest heaving and lungs aching from gasping so hard for air. He growled at the taste of blood, rose petals and salt water, the growl turning into a loving low rumble when he wasted no time in tending to the new wound with a gentle tongue.

In no time you were shrouded in exhaustion, eyes falling heavy and a soft purr tickling against Kirishima’s collarbone. Your fingers slowly twirled in his hair and he gently positioned the two of you laying on your sides in the nest, locked tight together by his knot. He kept you held close, hands rubbing up and down your back and petting your head.

“My sweet little mate - I love you so much,” he spoke into your hair.

You smiled sleepily and vaguely heard the sound of fireworks going off in the distance before replying

#naughty or nice #bnha writing event #kirishima eijirou x reader #bnha #mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #smut #18+ only #a/b/o #A/B/O verse #heat #rut #read warnings #angst #happy ending

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mrsbhandari · 4 years

Text

Shutter - pt 5

a/n: bonjour!! sorry that this is a little bit later than i thought i would post it, i went to do a bunch of stuff today oop-- anyway, i hope you like this one!! also the instagram post described with nia and tyril is this one by the lovely lxdy-starfury because i like to think that they become good friends and share a love of books teehee.

warnings: there’s a section here that’s nsfw (masturbation) so uh yeah

words: 3k

tags: @lxdy-starfury, @huntress1024, @anotherbeingsworld, @brightpinkpeppercorn, @chaotic-ramsay-queen, @brycemaloliver

Jesus Christ. That was the first thought Naexi had when she nodded and Tyril slotted his lips against hers, effortlessly molding to her mouth as if they had been together for years. He tasted sweet, like funnel cake at the carnival and shared laughs as powdered sugar covered her mouth. In an instant, he hopped down from his stool and stood closer to her, gently placing a cold finger under her chin and positioning her head for an even better angle. Naexi’s head spun, feeling her mouth open and his tongue brush hers. She let out the smallest of whimpers, and all bets were off. He was borderline desperate to taste her, feel her, with his hands traveling down to her hips and pulling her close by her belt loops.

He took her chin in one hand and tilted her to the side, exposing her neck and allowing him to trail his lips down her skin. Gasping, her fingers found his hair and the messy bun he’d thrown it in before tugging on the hair band and freeing the raven locks to fall down to his shoulders. She tangled her fingers into it, relishing how fluffy and soft it felt against her palm, images of it splayed out on the pillow below her and it hanging over her face as he looked down on her flashed into her mind, making her dizzy with desire for him. The feel of his fingertips finding their way under her sweatshirt and gingerly running across her stomach shocked her senses. His hands were cold, but soft, and gave her goosebumps wherever he stroked.

“You’re so beautiful.” His voice was husky in her ear before his mouth pressed a soft kiss to her neck, smiling against her skin when he felt a shudder go through her body. Their time was cut short by a loud ringing coming from his pants pocket, making them both jump.

“Dammit--Hello?” he impatiently answered, lips swollen and hands still twitching against her skin.

“You’ve been there a while, boss. Just wanted to make sure she didn’t force you to write her into your will and kill you.” Imtura sounded bored on the other end of the line.

“Is that even possible?”

“You’d be surprised.”

“Ignoring that...ominous statement, yes, I’m fine.”

“Did she say yes?” Naexi gave him a confused look, but he just offered a small, embarrassed smile in return.

“I...didn’t get a chance to ask yet.”

“Ah, I see.” She didn’t say anything else.

“Well...I’m going to go. I’ll be on my way soon.”

“Later, boss. Oh, and uh--” He could practically hear her grin through the phone. “--give her a kiss for me.”

Tyril hurriedly hung up the phone and slammed it down on the counter, face flushing a bright red at Naexi’s laughter.

“Was that the bodyguard I met at the shoot?”

“Imtura, yes. She’s…”

“Fantastic!” Tyril rolled his eyes.

“Sure, we’ll go with that.”

Trailing her fingers up his sharp jaw, Naexi gave him a small smile. “What did you want to ask me? Does it have to do with the ‘favor’?” He hummed and closed his eyes, enjoying her gentle touch.

“Yes, my father has a charity gala coming up and I would like you to come with me.” He opened his eyes and bit his lip, making Naexi wonder what else he could do to get any sexier. “As my date.”

“A fancy rich people gala....with the girl who hated you when she first met you because you’re rich....sounds like a disaster, Tyril.” She looked away, unsure, but the moment he leaned down to her ear and whispered “Please” in her ear, she knew she was putty in his hands. “Fine!” He grinned down at her, making her knees weak. “But you owe me.”

He pressed a soft kiss to her lips, one that had her leaning forward for more after he pulled away. “Anything.” His smile seemed to hold the promise of the world in it.

She believed it.

Tyril sat heavily on the leather couch of his apartment, quiet and empty without Naexi’s smile to brighten it up. The feel of her lips against his and her body in his palms was intoxicating, enough so that his head still felt fuzzy and his pants still felt tight. He’d never felt this way for anyone after Kaya left him, and half of him felt completely ashamed for thinking of Naexi that way. The other half of him was extremely turned on.

Making an executive decision, he stood and walked to the bathroom, turning on the water and stripping down, waiting for it to heat up. In that time, he couldn’t help but think of how perfect she looked in the candlelight of her kitchen, shadows flickering on her face and sharpening the roundness of her face. He looked at himself in the mirror, noticing how hard he’d become at the thought of her so close to him.

“What are you doing to me, Naexi?” he whispered to himself, turning back to step in the shower. The hot water hit his muscles just right, washing away the tension buried so deeply in his shoulders. If he closed his eyes and dreamed, he could imagine that it was her hands running across his back, kneading her fingers into the flesh and trailing down to his sides. He shuddered and braced one hand against his shower wall, nails scraping the grout. He resumed his fantasy, thinking of her soft hands sweeping down over his hips before wrapping around his hard shaft. He gasped as he felt the pressure surround him, water dripping into his mouth and off his chin from the hair that was plastered against his forehead from the steady stream of the shower hitting him. Her hand moved and she was whispering in his ear, walking around to face him as she got him off, forcing him to look at her in those big green eyes that had him in a trance.

“C’mon, pretty boy, come undone for me.” Then she was kissing him and he could feel himself reaching his peak and spilling over his hand, ripping him from his mind as he opened his eyes to see that he was alone in his shower with his rapidly softening dick in his hands under a stream of water that was no longer as comforting as it was just a few minutes ago. Laying his forehead against the warm tile, he closed his eyes again and pictured her pretty face as his breath slowed.

“You sly dog!” Mal clapped Tyril heavily on the back, making the latter man nearly choke on his coffee. Being friends with Mal typically came with the inevitable injuries from the man’s brute strength and touchiness, and Tyril often wondered how exactly he hadn’t ended up in the hospital from one of his ‘friendly’ punches.

“I am nothing of the sort,” he deadpanned, keeping his gaze forward as they walked.

“Aw, come one, killer, admit it.” Tyril sent a sidelong glance to Mal. “You’re falling in love with her.”

Tyril rolled his eyes. “It’s far too early to say anything as serious as that.”

“But you’re at least falling for her,” Imtura corrected, holding a long index finger up. “No offense, boss, but after Kaya left--” He winced at the name. “--you were a whole mess. Like, watching rom-coms while crying and eating ice cream kind of mess. Like--”

“Yes, yes, I was broken up that my fiancee cheated on me and planned on buying my company out with her lover, who just so happened to be my biggest competitor. I was a mess who immediately dismissed the entire idea of love because if someone could really hurt me that bad, then what’s the point of believing that there’s any good in the world?” Imtura opened her mouth to speak, but Tyril continued. “Which is why I throw myself into my work and shun dating altogether because I’d rather focus on the good I know I can cause rather than the unguaranteed good of someone to date and marry.” He realized that his two friends were staring at him. “Were you going to say something different?”

“No, I was just going to say that you needed to get laid. I think that proved my point.” Imtura and Mal laughed, exchanging a fist bump as they walked after Tyril. He just rolled his eyes. “Plus, didn’t Kaya also screw over your competitor, too?”

“What’s your point?”

“I’m just saying that at least you’re not the only one.”

“You’re right, I feel so much better now. No more therapy for me!”

Mal exaggeratedly shivered. “Hearing you sound sarcastically happy is creepy.”

“Listen, all I’m saying is that it’s good that you’re getting back out there! I’ve had enough of you moping. My job would be so much more exciting if you did stupid stuff because you’re heartbroken.”

“Plus, now you’ve got a total babe to go to the gala with,” Mal interjected, earning an exasperated sigh from Tyril. “What? I’m right!”

“You made out?!”

“Shhhhhh!” Naexi waved off a few nosy patrons of the store before turning back to her best friend, who was trying to silently freak out on the couch. “Yes, we did.”

“If I don’t get a detailed play-by-play right now, I’m literally announcing to the entire store that you made out with a billionaire.”

“Well, you already half-announced it.” Naexi explained what happened in her apartment to Nia, who would interject with random squeals and squeaks at certain points, nearly spilling her coffee on her friend at one point. Finally, when she was finished, Nia was bright red and fanning herself.

“Wow! And now you get to go to the gala! You’re like a princess,” she sighed, earning a scoff from Naexi. She was about to retort, but her phone buzzed on the table.

PICTAGRAM: @tyrilstarfury is now following you.

Nia glanced over her shoulder at the screen. “Ooh, getting serious, hm?” she taunted, poking her friend in the side and giggling. Nia’s own phone lit up, detailing an alert on Tyril’s name in a tweet. “Uh-oh.”

“Uh-oh? What are we uh-ohing?” Naexi glanced over at the Zizzfeed account pulled up on her screen with a tweet reading “Who did Tyril Starfury follow on Pictagram?” with a link to an article featuring countless old gifs between sporadic sentences about the bachelor and his odd following of a random photographer’s account on social media. “What the hell?! How are they so fast?”

“You’re famous!”

“Did you forget that I’ve been published in multiple magazines, including Vogue, one of the most notorious fashion magazines in America?”

“I feel like Zizzfeed is like, officially famous, though.”

“It’s not uncommon, I’ve always had news sites like that one sticking their noses into my business.” Tyril scowled into his glass of water. They were sitting on his couch, making his large apartment feel less empty with full kisses and even fuller laughter. She reached up a hand to trace his jaw, bringing his gaze up to hers.

“It was just a little shocking, is all.” He reached a hand up to his hair and brushed a few strands out of his face. He seemed bashful, not at all like the typical powerful man she’d come to know in just a few short days. It made her heart melt.

“I understand that this whole billionaire thing can be overwhelming, and I don’t want you to feel pressured to stay with me if it makes you feel uncomfortable with all the eyes that might be on you--”

“Tyril.” He stopped his rambling and looked at Naexi, all wide eyes and sweet smiles. “I don’t want to read any stupid news about you because I have the source right here. I want to be with you. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it earlier, but I’m here now, hm? Kiss me, please.” He grinned happily obliged, their lips coming together easily in an act that had his head swimming every time they did it. Her mouth trailed down his throat, leaving pinpricks of heat as her teeth nipped at his skin, sure to be the reason he would need to wear turtlenecks for the rest of the week.

“You’re a troublemaker,” he murmured, breath heavy under her touch.

“Let me guess.” She leaned back, but their faces were still close. It was torture. “You were a good little boy who didn’t associate with the likes of little girls like me.” She ran her finger over some of the new hickeys decorating his skin, making him hiss.

“Let me guess...you were a little girl who teased little boys like me.” His hands wrapped around her thighs and effortlessly pulled her into his lap.

“That’s because I didn’t realize how naughty those little boys could be.” She was straddling his hips and he felt like he was living the teenage years he never got to have, full of raging hormones and obvious hickeys and immature laughter. Her body was pure warmth in his hands, heating his body up from its usual cool temperature. She had a red sweatshirt on, complementing the dark gray sweater he had chosen for himself after what seemed like hours of deliberation, eager to look perfect for her. Those words surprised him. It seemed like every step he took revolved around those words.

For her.

Beside her, a phone buzzed and she looked at the headline that took up the top space of her notification bar: TYRIL STARFURY SPOTTED ON DATE WITH VOGUE PHOTOGRAPHER. She clicked on it and was immediately met with a large photo, no doubt taken by a paparazzo on the sidewalk across the street from a local ice cream shop they had visited together. The picture featured a typically stoic Tyril smiling with a dot of chocolate ice cream on his nose, placed there by his new girlfriend who just wanted to make him happy. She smiled down at the picture and saved it to her phone, sending a screenshot of the article to Tyril.

NAEXI: I still think this was a cute look. Shame it didn’t last longer.

TYRIL: I seem to recall the reason it didn’t last long.

NAEXI: Enlighten me.

Tyril let out a small laugh and sent an embarrassed smile to Mal, who gave him an odd look in across the table in their conference meeting.

TYRIL: You insisted on licking any ice cream off me, remember? I’m surprised the paparazzi don’t have more scandalous pictures.

NAEXI: I’m going to email the pap and ask if I can have copies of the rest.

TYRIL: You wouldn’t!

NAEXI: Too late.

NAEXI: He said yes!!!

Nia’s attempted sneaky picture was thwarted by the loud shutter sound that jolted the both of them. Tyril looked up from his book with furrowed brows.

“What are you doing?” Nia flipped her phone and showed him the picture, which turned out surprisingly good considering the jostling.

“Can I post it? Look how cute you look!” she exclaimed, hopeful eyes matching his tired ones, framed by his glasses.

“Sure,” he confirmed, smiling a little when she let out a little cheer. She was busy tapping away at her phone while he leaned forward and tried to catch glimpses of what she was doing when she pressed a button and laid her phone back on the table. His phone lit up with a Pictagram notification a few seconds later, telling him of how @niaellarious_x tagged him in a photo.

He looked down at his hair that fell nicely over his shoulders and the turtleneck he’d been forced to wear by Naexi, who was ever enthusiastic when given any sort of access to the sensitive skin on his neck. Liking the photo, he scrolled down to the comments and skimmed through the hundreds already asking how Nia knew Tyril, settling on one in particular that made his heart pound.

@naexi_c gorgeous

“I’m thinking about wearing this one for the gala,” Naexi said, holding up a violet dress that hung limply on the hanger. From what he could see, it was long and looked smooth, and he tried imagining her in it, but could only envision her in what she was in now, a pair of shorts and yet another sweatshirt. On anyone else, he was indifferent to baggy clothing, but on her, it only left him wanting more. She seemed to know the effect she had on him, stretching often to allow a sliver of her stomach to be revealed. His fingers twitched at his sides as she did it again.

“Are you not going to try it on for me?” She laughed and hung the hanger back up.

“You’re not slick, handsome. I see right through you.” Reaching out a hand that he grabbed, she walked over to where he was seated on her bed. He placed his lips on the center of her palm and brushed his lips over the inside of her wrist.

“You’re right, I should know that you look beautiful in everything.”

She leaned down and placed a kiss on his cheek before moving to his lips, where she simply said, “Sap.”

“Finally! I’ve officially kicked your ass!” Mal pumped his fist, nearly throwing his controller out of his hands.

“This is Mario Kart, it’s not like it required any actual skill…” Tyril grumbled, taking a sip of water from the glass on the table next to him.

“Hand-eye coordination, bitch!”

“Mal!”

“Aw, c’mon, am I not allowed to celebrate my victory?” Tyril rolled his eyes and threw the controller down on the cushion, left dissatisfied by the soft clatter it made. Checking his phone, he missed Mal’s scoff. “I can see I’m no longer the only one in your heart. It wounds me!”

“Everything wounds you,” Tyril muttered, smiling a little at the text that appeared on his screen.

“When am I gonna meet this chick, hm? She seems to have left quite the impression on you.” Mal wiggled his eyebrows over the glass of whiskey he was about to drink. Tyril remained unfazed and kept his eyes on his phone.

“The gala.”

“Two more days of having to snap for your attention!” Mal set his cup down heavily and realized that Tyril was sucked into his phone again. He snapped his fingers above the screen. “Hello?!”

#tyril #tyril starfury #choices tyril #blades of light and shadow #blades au #choices blades #blades

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oh-theatre · 4 years

Text

Objection!: Chapter 26

Chapter title: When Youre Home

A/n: Sorry it took awhile and im sorry its shorter!! Ive been really busy but I still wanted to get a chapter out! And ofc cant tell you what happens just yet also gotta let ya suffer. Sorry its bad but enjoy!! PLEASE LEAVE ME COMMENTS YALL! PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS AND IF ITS CONFUSING OR YOU HAVE QUESTIONS IM HERE TO ANSWER THEM OK?

First | Previous | Next

words: 2356

summary: The world freezes as the gang follows the events of the previous night

pairings: Eventual logicality, prinxiety, platonic demus, romantic remile

warnings: Murder mention, child murder, Law and Courtroom, swearing, blood, hospital, crime scene, murder, gun mention, guns, swearing, abuse, graphic descriptions, alcohol, shooting, crying

Ao3 Link

“Dada!” No, Logan couldn't. His throat closes tightly hearing the sound of frantic children racing toward him. Wiping away his nervous tears he stands, the twins waste no time as Logan kneels to nuzzle themselves into him. Emile and Remy, somber faces, approach from behind. “Where's Papa?” Valerie shakes, her fears from the night only arising.

“Um...Patton is…” Logan cant speak, the words catch in his throat, stuck at some border keeping them down. “He’s…” He doesn't wish to beg for assistance, but his eyes beg to anyone. Everyone avoids him, except…

“Why don't we go get some food?” Emile offers, the twins attention, tired and worn out, and focuses on the doctor. “We can get something for your dad” Emile and Remy work in sync, taking the pair from Logan. Nothing changes but the smallest glint shows his thankfulness. They set off and just as soon as they appeared, they fade into the rush of the midnight hour at the hospital. Cold and dark, Logan wants them back, the aching his body feels as he no longer can feel their presence.

He could see the crowd move, he could hear their mumblings and the world continue on. But he felt numb, like static surrounding him, nothing was there. Silence in this noisy void. Even when Virgil places his hand on the lawyers shoulder it takes a moment to register, then his face only sends him back.

“Hey we he- Patton” It takes almost no time to identify the ooze of blood and the frozen terror in the center of the courtroom. Virgil steps back, a moment of hesitation, Roman rushing by him sparks him back alive. He had never seen a puzzle so broken, so many pieces lost. Logan couldn't speak, but he held so tightly. But to what? Virgil hated it but it didnt look like Patton.

“Hel..help” Logan manages, something in him however was gone. Virgil couldn't look anymore, the pale face, he longed to see the bright smile, promising love as it flashed to all it passed. The sparkle of his eyes, a smart shine closed as they looked empty. Nothing was there, no one was there….

“Uhm Roman Reial, I need an ambulance… the courthouse on Preise Boulevard” He rushes, his breaths short and scared. “A-a gunshot wound...please just hurry” He pleads, Logan continues staring towards the door. The icy blue that sparked with wisdom and his unsuspected and treasured love had melted. They were empty, devoid of purpose to shine.

“We...we’re engaged” He mumbles, Virgil looks to Pattons hands instantly. The scuffed skin didn't distract from the stunning glimmer of the ring around his finger.

“C-come on” Virgil tries “We have to get him out of here...or apply pressure...or stop the bleeding or-”

“Virge breathe” Roman takes his hand, squeezing it gently. Their eyes meet and the dangerous storm dies down in Virgil, finding a light rain should suffice. “He’ll be ok”

“Don't make promises you can't keep” Virgil whispers, listening to a silent Logan crying ever so gently over a fallen love. Roman cups his cheek, the movement feeling natural.

“I'm not” He takes Virgil to the side, calming him as medics and cops file in. The pair are guilty as they ignore Logan's desperate cries, shunning away while Patton, if you can call his lifeless body that was hauled away. Logan sinks again, unable to move, no one makes a sound, the room falls quiet once more. “Logan…” Roman begins, his caution at a high point. The lawyer shakes his head, searching for the words, any words. A simple croak.

“Hes-”

“Dead” Logan mutters “He's dead” He slumps into his chair, Roman and Virgil share uneasy glances.

“What happened?!” The three look up, their eyes landing in unison. A fiery path alight as Barbara marched towards them, Marcy following her footsteps trying to put out the dark. Logan stands, not expecting the rough descent to the physical world. “What did you do?” She spits, desperate as everything falls apart.

“Barb!” Marcy calls, gently removing her from a distant Logan. “Bubbles take a breath, it's not Logan's fault” Marcy assures, stroking ever so delicately to her wife. Barbara tries to conjure an argument but shatters, falling into Marcys arms as she cries.

Shouldn't Logan be doing the same?

Why couldn't he feel the pain?

Had he succumbed...to the dark?

Not too long ago his confusion was riddled with unbearable pain, the sadness too much to feel as it coursed through his veins, practically pumping his breath. He needed Patton, that took something out of him. The name, even the mere thought was too much, a break in his step. Turning rapidly away from this scene, too much of a mirror of his inner turmoil, he walks to the door, and kept going. Ignore, he told himself, ignore the shouts and the concern.

“Patton Hart” He demands, the woman perks up, a note of sympathy accompanies her sweet smile. She dials the phone, hushed whispers before she returns to Logan, the man no doubt seemed insane.

“I'm sorry sir, mister Hart is still in surgery” She informs. “We will send someone out with updates, but please return to the waiting room” She requests, her politeness and formality wasn't something Logan could argue. And it made sense, what was he thinking. Resigned with shame he returns to the group, the moment his sweaty back hits the chair he gives in. The tears just come, you'd think dehydration might be a risk as he sobs with no filter. No one dared move, not even a breath escaped but Barbara's face morphs, she takes his side, clutching hard. If he needed pressure, he was getting it.

Everyone loved him, but these two...it was different. The pain, the absolute grief they felt, couldn't be matched, only sprouted from their passionate love. Even if there's differences between each other, it was intense...and it hurt. And they shared that, how awful…

~~~

“I hear kids” Patton chuckles into the pillow, Logans arms remain around the smaller of the pair. It was true, the feet moved rapidly through the house, the wooden floors revealing their location with coy creaks. Logan groans, nuzzling into Patton not wishing to lose this warmth. “C’mon” Patton giggles, a gentle kiss on Logan's cheek before he sits up. His hair falling perfectly into a fluffed cloud. The pair reach for their glasses, preparing for the wave that approaches them.

“Papa! Dada!” The door bursts and the twins spare no one, jumping into the bed as they pounce on the fathers. Both lawyers fall back, laughing through muffled embraces. The twins had grown immensely, and yet they insisted on Sunday morning hugs.

“Where do you attain all this energy?” Logan wonders, adjusting Remus in front of him, the boy bounces excited. “It's eight in the morning” Logan yawns, Valerie follows suit sitting next to her brother.

“Lo they've only been alive for ten years, they have all the energy in the world” Patton teases, resting his head on Logan's accepting shoulder. “Why don't we give your father some space, come on Ill make you breakfast” Patton takes his time, slipping on his slippers as he leads the eager twins to the kitchen. The skip behind him, humming sweetly as they clutch to his hands.

“Cartoons?” Remus proposes, Patton nods and allows them to set up in front of the couch. The shows blare loud but nothing Patton didn't enjoy or was used to, he begins his work diligently in the kitchen. Never could he gain tired of the sweet bouts of laughter from the children.

“Good morning pop!” Patton turns, a giant grin spreads. Terrence stands idle, his cup tight in his small hands, his smile reflects brightly.

“Well good morning sweetness” Patton greets, kneeling slightly to face the young boy. “What can I do for you?” He offers, Terrence holds out his cup, shaking it gladly. “Juice or water?”

“Juice please! Jamahl sleeping still” He replies, Patton obliges, securing the drink into his hands once more. “Thank you kindly!” He beams, Patton hides a sweet chuckle, his vocabulary increasing everyday. “Hello papa” He waves to a slumbering Logan, hugging his legs before racing off to join his siblings, Logan ruffles his hair watching him go. Patton giggles turning back to his work, the stove ready for the delectable delight.

“Mmm” Logan hums, his arms wrapping gently around Patton's waist. His head falls perfectly on the mans shoulder, burrowing with ease. Patton giggles, the tickles certainly help to awake the man. Logan grows impatient spinning Patton towards him, leaning into a gentle kiss, a nice satisfaction as he pulls away.

“What was that for?” Patton laughs, Logan shrugs returning to his position. He enjoys watching his husband work, the careful manner as he prepares food, the unconscious humming that carries a tune. He places yet another kiss on Patton's cheek, wanting to remain as such forever. They both take a moment to turn to the children, each excited as the animation dances across the stage. Patton takes Logans hands in his own, interlacing their fingers as they watch.

“I want another” Logan yawns, Patton continues his cooking. He shakes his head stirring the coffee pouring two even cups.

“Another kiss?” He jokes, obliging by his own manner. Logan pouts and pulls Patton back to him. “Yes dearest?” He wonders

“Another kid” Logan presses, Pattons amused smile remains but falters a tad. “I mean look at them, they're perfect” Logan smiles, his glasses drooping. Patton adjusts them for him but bites his tongue. “Come on...I was looking and talking to Lia and-” Patton interjects quickly

“Lo I don't want another kid” He admits, his brows furrowed with concern. Logan takes a step back, their hands remain connected.

“I….what?” Logan mutters “I mean...you love kids. And you're wonderful with them. I don't understand…” Patton strokes his cheek, calming the anxiety he can see forming.

“I do love kids. I love Virgils son, I adore Thomas and the twins and Terrence are my life” Patton promises, yet something is off. “I just...I don't want another kid” He restates. “Divine, we are both full time lawyers and I'm on the city counsel. We already have trouble balancing our schedules with them. Adopting a child, no matter the age would be difficult. And it wouldn't be fair on them” Patton explains.

“What about Terrence? And Jamahl?” Logan marvels, scouring his brain. “That was even more dire, you were just out of the hospital a-and you were just starting. I was just beginning to learn what it meant to be a father-”

“And you are amazing at it” Patton smiles, Logan can't find the same urge.

“Terrence was a baby, I mean we could take in a grown child...like Jamahl. Statistics show that they are less likely to be taken in and it would save us the trouble of a newborn and it would be easier to help them adjust and understand” Logan rushes, desperate. “We can do it” He assures, Pattons usual determination, his need to please Logan just couldn't conjure itself.

“I-im sorry Lo, I don't want another kid” Patton laments, finally it seems their hands find their way apart.

“Ok maybe not now, I mean maybe in the future we could-” Logan tries. Pattons hands clutch to the table, the spatula could sink into the counter.

“No Logan you're not hearing me” He whispers, wishing to keep this to themselves. “I don't want another kid, We’ve got two ten year olds. Both who have been through more than any ten year old should. Both also very familiar to a broken home, and wishing for nothing more than to keep what stability they have. We've got a little five year old who despite being just a baby was thrown through system and system and didn't know a stable and safe home until he took his first steps on that carpet over there and his over-protective brother finally trusted us” Patton takes a frustrated breath “We have full careers and If I know you, which I pride myself on, you want it go further and advance” He watches the once expression he hated so much, Logans eyes fall hopeless. He takes his cheeks, aweing so gently. “Logan, my starlight, I love you so much. I love you, and the kids and my job and my friends. I like our life. But I don't want another kid, Jamahls about to go off to college, the twins are going to be in highschool in no time and Terrence is beginning school” Patton serves the now saddened breakfast, moving to the table as he sets it. Molly whines at his feet for food, he wishes to coo but his heart feels heavy.

“Patton I-” Logan begins

“I have to go wake up Jamahl, he has SAT prep and Thomas is coming over soon to play with Terrence” Patton gives another look before disappearing behind the wall. Both take shuddered breaths fearing their own ability to stop tears. The house felt tense, hard to move through, hard to breath. Hard to stay still, why was it shaking?

“Logan” The softest voice cuts through, the lawyer sputters awake, his eyes flutter open. Virgil kneels in front of him, his hands gentle as he places a hold on the man. “He's out of surgery” Virgil informs, Logan nods before fully comprehending Virgil's words. He jumps up, rushing to the doctor who was seemingly reporting to Barbara.

“...he hasn't awoken yet but his vitals are stable for now” The man finishes, thats all Logan needed. “As you are immediate family you can see him, the rest of you will have to wait” Logans heart drops, falling below his knees. Barbara rings her hands but takes Logan.

“This is his husband” The doctor checks his chart, skeptical as to who is listed. “Its recent so he hasn't had time to update it” Barbara adds, Logan would be eternally grateful to her later. Especially as they walk through the forbidden doors and straight down to the room…

His room.

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heartedlystyled · 5 years

Text

Abu's friend asked Abu to ask me if i would be comfortable to wear Hindu with a Burka.

I'm not huge on burkas because i get the got breath back and im already always hot anyways.

But his friend, Abu said that he found interesting that Hindu is a combination of my usual need for bling combined with Islam dress.

I said i would look for an appropriate outfit in Hindu wear to see if i would he comfortable in Hindu wear...

Its the land of the free, I can wear what i want...

Then we can across the girl on the left and he said "you already kind of dress that way anyways and your daughter, too!"

And i do... In NYC we had friends that were India Hindu, Americans, US military and we played with their kids... And i remember the grandma always seemed to open the door and she always wore the red dot on her forehead. She would stab it to make it upraised with a little needle and she would re tattoo it like every week or So...

It looked like a felt dot glued securely to her forehead.

And she often wore pink and green with gold sequin trim And she was always sewing.

So somehow as an adult, i began dressing my infant daughter that way as i always wore pants or ankle length dresses/skirts... Younger i would wear above the knee with panty hose... But longer meant more freedom like no pantyhose or having to shave above the mid calf... Just in case...

With my infant i would put a cute dress on her with jeans because she would get cold... Cause she couldn't keep socks on and the jeans would cover her feet...

Then as she got older wanting her comfortable to play like a boy but in a dress had me to put leggings on her...

Then for me cause i got excessively fat, I didn't feel comfortable in a shorter dress or skirt... So i also wear pants.

But I do wear spaghetti straps or strapless... Because i like it. It still covers my books so..

And I can understand going to the movies with Abu and his single friend and his friend asking me to wear a bit more than normal...

Its not against me at all.., its about respecting his friend Abu... Like he isn't all trying to be looking at me because hes just sitting and zoning into space... Or because he is looking at me and talking...

Like to go on double dates or in a group and the girls have to wear a certain way... I don't mind to change it up a little so they feel more comfortable... Im not afraid of being shunned.. Abu will ditch them in the parking lot.

Its about supporting a culture, friendship and family.

So if i wear a zebra print burka with pink highlights... Its not the same as Islam dress.. Yet... I'm still making an effort to appease a religious belief that i don't necessarily agree with...

That said I'm not into a burka... But something similar that's sheerer so i sont get too hot... Something similar to what some Hindu wear for special ceremonies.

Growing up in a melting pot of Earth... In NYC we spent A lot of nights sleeping in the Hindu's living room floor in piles of pillows and blankets and pizza. Chips and dip and soda, veggie plate me and gramma shared and the boys had to eat one of...

And we would watch 1 American movie like Ghost Busters or whatever was new and all the Hindu/India movies we wanted. A

Often times they weren't subtitled or in English. But we would watch and the gramma or the dad (they didn't have a nom either) would explain what was happening... A lot of times the boys would go out with my brothers and i would stay inside with the gramma and watch movies and ask her what they said, why their faces changed

Because the boys would understand the scene and they would make part of the movie themselves, like the TV extended to the living room floor and they would pantomime and act out and joke around about what they would do if they were there in the movie scene.

Usually I just watched... And handed supplies... The back drop wall flower watching the people I loved changing the movie scene they would want to have included in the movie each time we watched it...

I loved it

But i also wanted to know what we didn't see. What we missed by living. I wanted to see what was on the other side of the screen that wasn't paid attention to on those fun nights.

Gramma had difficulty with English and expression and sometimes she got embarrassed if it was a romantic scene... So i would go to the TV and point to the people and tell her what i thought they were doing in each scene.

So essentially while my own mother had been killed in front of me and all i could remember of her existence was blood splashing on the brown living room curtains...

This kind Hindu old lady without a daughter in law of her own that died in childbirth, delivering at home and only had grandsons... Taught me about life, relationships, life events, life expectations and expectancy.

I would skip school a lot to go hang out with her... Just not even go. She would open the door to let the boys out and see me and ask "school?" And i would shake my head no "not today"

Eventually my dad asked me why i hadn't been and told them i had to go to school... I would just sit outside her door all day until she went to laundry after lunch and thn i would follow her around the laundry mat downstairs in our apartment building.

So then she got to,walking us all to school... But she said it took too long,to,return home So she would ride her bike in the afternoon, tie it up to the bike rack and then walk us home... In the morning she would walk us to school and she would ride her bike home.

In the 4th grade my class had a window she would pass by to go to the bike rack and i would stand up and wait to see her go by.

She changed. She became leaner and softer and happier. She would let her hair down when she rode by on her bike. Literally letting it flow down behind her, for like miles... Then she would pin it right back up in a Chinese pin she called it.

She taught me about life. About living. And about surviving when even you yourself have no reason for continuing.

And although I was breaking the rules and she knew... She wouldn't let me in the house as she promised but if i helped her fold the laundry as she directed and helped her to twke them from rhe cart and hand the baskets to her frim the doorway she would tell me "you help me, i help you. Here is food" and she would give me lunch and a drink. And she would sometimes sit in the hallway floor with me and talk to me about the movie we watched AFTER school was let over and the boys were home. As my dad had said i could.

To me she wasn't an old lady with a red dot and Hindu clothing.

She was my very dear friend. Very close to my heart. To me, She had no age. She was as young as me, sometimes even younger but smarter. She told me all kinds of stories about her life in India, her son's life... All her children, her husband.

For me i was always in awe, mouth dropped at her tales, they were so beautiful and made her face change dramatically with her huge smiles or her eyes turning round and filling with tears...

Remember how i wrote she had a red dot that looked like felt glued down?

It was

That's exactly what it was.

But one summer it kept falling off. The summer after 3rd grade. The boys would be loud so she would say let's to go outside in the hall and talk.

And i had already caused a huge thing at school, predicting my friend Rose's death and having PTSD, having my 3rd grade teacher arrested as she was from China and would hit us with rulers and make us kneel in rice and peas (she killed herself in prison, she had a 2 year sentence) and so me hanging out with a Hindu lady... It was another story, another event for my file.

I remember a rather large black man would sit around the corner and listen. But she would say "he is spy, i cannot continue talking. It is not Chinese. It is not bad. I di nit want to go in But i do not feel comfortable. You tell me now about you"

"No way! I hate this shit!" So i confronted him. Over and over. Until finally she giggled and told me "invite him to conversate. Tell him sit in floor, like man But be handsome. But not too sexy no no no. He probably married anyway and I'm too old. But please hurry. I'm i get nervous"

"Oh please! Don't tell me! You're too old! You already have kids! You can't date!" I said veey loudly as i walked to the corner "up get -- HEY GET BACK HERE!!! SHE WANTS YOU TO SIT AND CONVERSATE!! don't be a dummy come on" i caught him nearmy running to,the staircase.

"Do you know how old i am? I'm nearly 40! You can't talk to me like that!"

"I can. I just did. Now please sit. Would you like something to drink? I can get you some kool-aid"

"What's she drinking?"

"Its gin"

"I would like some, too"

"What's gin?"

"Just go"

Finally i found what i knew gin was and i handed him a deck of cards.

I learned her tricks... When she's annoyed or uncomfortable or suspicious, she flirts. She acts like he's all over her and she's all flat drunk out... Y'all have seen me do them. The unlucky fall for them.

But he didn't and she was drinking water.

And he told her my story. The stories i hid. The stories i wish never happened. The stories i forbid to be spoken around me.

And i tuned my back to,them so they could not see me,cry or push my migraines away. And it continued for days. And she ran out of tissues and i had to use toilet paper for my nose.

Then her red dot, the eye of the God ran began to fall off her face, everyday. She got new glue. Stronger glue. And it will still fall.

So shr asked him "what is this? Why this fall?"

He said "if you ask me, She loves you and now you know you know what love is and you don't need that to protect you anymore"

"It is not to protect but to see"

"To look for love that i know about you Hindu. That is all you speak To her about. Its love. That i do know and now you know her pain and how much she needs you. You understand --- is that all you do us cry?"

"She speaks"

"You know what i want you to do is get that tattooed but in blue. Next time I come to see you, I'll bring a book i have been studying and i will show you, its perfectly acceptable to get a tattoo of it on your face,but an any color. Because you know why you identify eith her -- i mean why you are both friends with each other, is because you are both sad"

"She sad. I'm sad. So now I'm friends? With her, a small child? I am odd duck"

"Now now don't you smile, Sabrina don't you laugh at the old lady!"

"Shes funny! She's not ducking she's brave! And she's small not odd and she's sweet and even,you like her! You tell her to,get tattoo! You're strange if at all!" I blurted out... The first time I talked in weeks, it felt... In reality only about 5 days.

And so long conversations short... She used a blue pen to draw a star... As he said she was my star, my human North star, to help me find the light in life and she had came to me when my life was most darkest And i was extremely suicidal and had been caught trying to drown myself like umpteen times... Cause i wanted to die outside because it felt better than dying inside all stuffy and around people like Denise. And i wanted to drown in the river but someone always saw me. 8 years old and all... I had my desires in how to die. I wasn't stupid or mindless.

He said she had been given red as her felt dot, from a priest, because she had felt love. Still knew love, still wanted love and Still believed in it and Still looked for it.

But he said that sometimes the dot could change. It could change shapes, sizes and colors. And he said if her brain leaked out, it didn't leak love, it leaked sadness. So thus her permanent eye of ra should be blue. A light color blue not too dark because she allowed light and happiness to shine thru the tears of her world.

And that was what she had taught me... Once I learned the videos then I would interact with the TV... And the boys would watch and then we would all play along with what was on the either side of the screen and i taught them what i had learned from Granny Hindu.

She would watch us and cry. The dad would watch in shock and awe as his sons were finally being taught their native tounge and important parts of the movie and ceremonies. Sometimes he would cry.

Eventually he began wearing his Hindu traditional wear and they would get up and dance the traditional Hindu dance and teach us while we the the pillows and blankets up on the couch. And we would laugh

Of course my back would hurt easily and the boys, because of the dad, all eventually would pick me up and dance with me like i was a doll, then supporting my small amount of bony weight with their arms.

And the dad would do the granny..,her feet dangling at his knees would make me,laugh so heartily!!

The boys wouldn't pick me up so high... Mostly I would lean on their shoulders or elbows...

And so granny settled on blood sweat and tears as she realized it wasn't happiness she knew best but sadness.

And she got a light blue tear in the middle of her forehead, tattooed. And she would wear a jewel over it, shaped like a tear, as beautiful as ever. But sometimes she wore a larger than in the past, red felt circle over it... "I looked for love and i found it and it hid all my tears"

So of course I would dress myself and child subconsciously in Hindu like garb. And of course I would wear it when out with people of Islamic culture.

The tattoo shop which had done her light blue tear, eye of Earth had also shown hwr how to hand poke tattoos as is conventional in her home country of India. Although she had her ra in a professional tattoo gun.

The government spy man had arranged it for her. He also came to our weekend slumber parties, some times falling asleep after a long hard work day on the couch like a child and we would give him a blanket we ha from out massive pile and cover him. I would say "heres you a blankey" and usually he would take the corner with his massive black hand or sometimes just sigh, inhale nd exhale deeply. Usually me and the boys took turns to cover him.

Little children covering an over 6 foot tall almost 40 year old man.... Ages from 5 to 10...

Because that is what love is.

Sometimes he would start breakfast... After the first dozen times escaping in the night after catching up with his zzz's and we told,him if he was gonna,crash the slumber party with his big body probably breaking the couch with all his long bones and muscles then he needed to crash all the way and watch Saturday morning cartoons. Cause that was the best and breakfast in bed... Or the pile of blankets an sheets nd pillows like a nest for baby birds as we called it. That was the best part. After waking up woth friends we loved and understood when we felt most misunderstood in the world. Them being Hindu with a gramma with a red dot the tattoo in the middle of her forehead totally misunderstood was she a witch? Crazy? How old was she? 40? 100? And then us, watching our mother murdered, barely being able to remember her or just being able to,watch the blood spray md wonder and,cry where was our lovely mother? And the puking. The days and night of puking and puking from fear, disgust, worry and sadness. And still death seemed to follow us everywhere no matter how we predicted it or didn't or wanted it or didn't. Cared or didn't. Prayed or didn't. It was just there. Always there.

And so he would stay... Did we find him in granny bed above the covers cuddling fully clothed once or twice? Yea. And we decided it was better than Saturday morning cartoons and so we all silently munched cereal and watched them, sitting in her bedroom floor doorway... Until we feared they were dead and then I would whisper hey and he would jump awake from laying on her shoulder or sometimes boob/rib or gramma Hindu would slowly open her eyes and be in her little dreamlike state and the first few times was innocent "hey there's a man in your bed. That isn't s pillow laying on you" we would whisper

But there was that one time... That one time that she fully seduced him like the prowling cougar she is and it was a whole different Saturday morning when she clutched the blanket to,her chest and said "YOU KIDS GET OUT!!"

And I not understanding cried at her "Why are you acting Chinese!?!?! I'm not getting out until you explain!!!"

So i had to be explained that he was in his boxers and had been under the covers and they didn't want all the kids to see their privacy

And i said "Fine! I'll get out! But that's gross!!!"

Because at 8 thats what i believed.

"And you should have made breakfast or i wouldn't had known!!" And i spun on my heel and threw my hair in his face.

And Alex asked me "what's going on? I mean with them?"

"I can't talk about it" heavy slumped shoulders, neck aching "let's just watch TV that's better" he bugged on and on until i covered my head to avoid him and fall back asleep

But when i woke he asked again and i told him "they had sex"

And he called me a liar and herded all the boys to go ask.

And then they called me back to,the room so we could get an explanation

And I said "i don't want to hear all this shit. I know the birds and the bees. In and out it goes"

But he tried to talk to us about love...

But Alex threw up..

Because our mother's murderer whom used a chainsaw to her neck while we were all assembled to watch... Then said that exact same thing and had added "want to watch" as he raped our mom's nearly decapitated body.

He was right. Sadness would always exist because of love.

Well us kids didn't care about two consenting adults with their heads fully attached.. Unfortunately her son did and he was really an ass hole. Only caring about himself and his feelings, then put in for a transfer to move across country to get his 60 year old cougar momma away from a early 40 year old kitten...

Destroying his son's lives in the process... And ours... And even his own happiness

Instead of allowing his mother freedom to love.

But before all this the young thug kitten only looking for one thing So said the father, an alley cat, he was allowed gramma Hindu to hand poke a tattoo on his right toe. An S. With an astrick just tucked inside the bottom tail.

"Samaria"

That was Grandma Hindus name.

She gave herself the one i drew above... An S for Sabrina for helping her find Samaria again And of course the S for herself as well.. And two stars... One for the one we could see in her in the bottom and the other to honor the stars she could see... And she told me one for me and one for her for our friendship. And the F next to Because they were so most important to her... The F did get bigger over time and eventually became the same,size as the S as her family evolved and changed...

I suppose the story is true. She handpoked white in the "standing leg" of the F to represent the Father, her son of the family in anger because of the move.

She could have stabbed him to death. I would not had blamed her.

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writersrealmbts · 5 years

Text

Protect Them-Hybrid AU: Part 10/Finale

Description: Safe with Me Sequel! You work two days a week teaching kids the joys of learning and reading, your favorites being the triplets. When the triplet’s adopted older brother is the one that starts picking them up, you’re not sure what life just handed you but you’re pretty sure it’s just another little slice of heaven. Hoseok x Reader.

Warnings: I don’t even know, if you do, let me know and I’ll change the warnings.

Posted: 02/27/2019

Tags: Hybrid!au, hybrid!Hoseok, Safe With Me Sequel

Angst with fluffs: 2,016 words

A/N: We’re here. The end of this particular arc of the series. I still have a holiday request to fulfill (I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but I didn’t know how the story was going to go and it would have messed up my ability to finish the story) for Hobi and reader, but that might be a while. I’m also working on finishing up a story I’ve had in my drafts for a while that didn’t go quite like I planned, but it should be fun. I’ve been pretty focused on editing and posting Army Medics on Ao3, so I haven’t done much in the way of some of my WIPs. Also, we got three feet of snow this past weekend, so there’s even more snow than before. My car was buried. Anywho: Thank you everyone who has read it and given me feedback, thanks for the likes, the comments, everything. I’m sorry it took so long for me to finish this series (I posted the prologue on Oct. 5th and the first part on Nov. 14th), but thanks for sticking with me for the journey! I love you all.

“Are you sure?” “Yeah. I’m sure. I mean, it’s a nice place and it’s actually not far from here. There’s a bus I can take to get to work, which will give me time to read.” You smiled down at the baby in your arms. “They’re adorable, Emma.” “I know.” She grinned down at her son, Jaehyun. “Is Aimi asleep?” “Yeah, she is,” You replied, setting her into the cradle before looking at Emma. “I should get going.” She set Jaehyun next to Ami, smiling as they curled into each other with soft, puppy-like sounds. You made a soft sound. “That’s adorable.” “Isn’t it? I missed when the triplets used to do this,” She lightly brushed their heads, then sat back and looked at you. “Have you talked to Hobi?” You shook your head. “No.” She nodded a little, tucking your hair behind your ear. “Are you going to?” You looked at your hands in your lap. “I…I don’t know.” She didn’t say anything more, simply rubbing your arm in a comforting manner. You looked up as Jungkook knocked lightly on the doorframe. “Hey, your bag is in Hobi’s car because he’s insisting on driving you.” You took in a deep breath, then nodded. “Okay, thank you.” He nodded, hesitating in the doorway before disappearing into the hallway. You got up and stretched. “Oh, time for another few hours of torture.” She laughed softly. “Don’t be so melodramatic. This give you the chance to talk to him. If it doesn’t go well, call me. Okay?” You nodded and hugged her. “Thank you for everything, Emma.” She hugged you tightly, then released. “I’m so glad you’re better.” “Well, as much as I can get better, yeah.” You sighed, smiling. The doctors said it was likely that now that they had started, you would continue to have seizures, probably for the rest of your life, and your vision in your left eye still fluctuated between blurry and blind, but your leg was fully functioning now. You were still not allowed to run and it still got tired long before your other did and would get sore, especially at night, but you could put weight on it and move. The triplets all nuzzled into your neck at once when you went to hug Nari goodbye first, causing you to laugh softly. “Why are you leaving?” Minsu asked, rubbing his cheek against your shoulder since Kaemon was blocking your neck. “Because I have to go back to living in my own place now that I’m all better,” You told him, pressing a kiss to his cheek, which prompted the other two to whine for kisses as well. Adorable. “But I like you being here,” Nari said. “Everything is good! I have a baby sister, and I have you and Hobi, and Eomma and Appa!” “And a baby brother,” You added. “I already had brothers, now I have a sister!” She said dramatically. “Be excited about both. Just think about it, one more kid to play with. You love your brothers.” She grinned at them. “I do.” Minsu giggled and playfully tackled her to the ground, rubbing his nose against hers. “You better.” Kaemon flopped on top of both, earning groans and giggly protests. Jin chuckled, watching them carefully from a distance. “Lunch is ready, pups.” “Food!” Minsu cheered. “Get off me! There’s food!” “He’s asleep. Again!” Nari let out a dramatic groan of disbelief. You laughed at their antics, standing and receiving the hugs from Jungkook, Jimin, and Jin. “I’ll see you on Monday,” Jin said, patting your shoulder. “It really was a pleasure having you with us. Don’t be a stranger.” “I’ll try not to be,” You answered, smiling and walking toward the door. Hoseok waved to his family, then followed you out. You two were almost to the summer house, your sister having left everything to you, when you finally broke the heavy silence. “I could’ve taken a taxi,” You started. He shook his head. “I won’t feel comfortable unless I know you’re okay.” “Right, because you feel responsible for me after seeing me get hurt,” You murmured, looking out the window. Anywhere but him. It was quiet again. “Wha…whe…” He made a couple more sounds like he wanted to ask a question before falling silent after a quiet and meaningful, “Oh.” You wouldn’t even look at him after he had parked in front of the house. He just sat in the drivers seat as you got out and went to the trunk to get your bag. You knocked on the trunk and he seemed to flinch before moving and popping the trunk, quickly getting out of the car. You carried the bag inside, even though you could sort of tell that he wanted to carry it for you. But you weren’t hurt anymore. He followed you inside. You set the bag on the couch and gestured around. “There. Happy? I’m safe.” He looked at you with surprise. “Y/n…can I talk to you? Sit with me?” “We sat in silence the whole ride, and you want to talk now?” He nodded, coming over and taking your hand, guiding you to sit beside him. “In the car, you said something about me feeling responsible for you after seeing you get hurt.” “I was just—” “Repeating what I said, that day in the bathroom back when you first got hurt. The day you were sick. I told you that.” He nodded. He seemed nervous. “I told you that my instincts went crazy after seeing you get hurt, and having your blood on me from carrying you to the hospital. But there was more to it. Sure, that’s enough to make a hybrid protective and attached…but when that happens and it’s someone that you like…really, really like…as in…romantically…well, it’s about ten times worse.” “Why are you—” “Not yet. Just, listen. Please. Hybrids can generally tell from a few interactions if someone they’re interested in could be a potential mate. We fall in love quickly. Easily. I’m not an exception. And seeing you that first day, with the kids? And then every time I saw you again…I got there early that day because I was hoping I could talk to you before your shift ended. Then the tornado, and the way you protect the kids. Risking yourself, getting hurt and then rubbing yourself on me so that hte kids wouldn’t notice my fear scent as much…” He was smiling warmly. “How could I not love someone as kind and caring as you?” Holy. Crap. You stared at him, unable to think of a proper response. “Then you got hurt. The guilt I felt…the anger…I couldn’t protect you, or keep you safe, because we were both trying to protect the kids and that led to you getting hurt and it killed me. Because I had to choose and I wanted to choose you, but it was too late and I knew that I would never be able to forgive myself if the kids…and you were so alone…” He was starting to get a little fragmented. “I know you think caring for you was burdensome and unflattering, but honestly, I’ve never really been happier because I got to be close to you and try and help you get better. And you did. And while there were times when you were discouraged you always put up a cheerful front for the pups and…taking care of them with you that week that all that crazy stuff happened was honestly the best week of my life because I got to pretend that we were really together, that they were our kids and we were in love and I had to tell you that I love you because if I don’t I think I might go crazy.” You blinked rapidly at him. “I love you. I love your stubbornness and compassion, and the way you sleep is adorable.” He was holding both of your hands. You weren’t even sure if you were blinking anymore. “Please tell me you aren’t having a seizure while I’m explaining all of this because I might cry if you are.” “I’m not,” You said softly, finally dragging your gaze from him to try and process everything. “That punk.” “What?” “Jungkook. He couldn’t have just said that I was being stupid and that you liked me too. I’ve been driving myself crazy, over something I could have had months ago because of you and your stupid explanations about hybrids and their sense of duty,” You hit him with a couch pillow. “Are you kidding me?! Do you realize, I’ve been tearing myself apart inside thinking that you, the most amazing man I have ever known, saw me as nothing more than your patient and that I would never stand a chance with you. I stopped almost every fantasy, I shunned every niggling idea of something more because…” You let out a shout of frustration. “I love you too, idiot.” He grinned and pulled you to him, lips pressed to yours in a kiss that you wouldn’t forget anytime soon. He had to be a god. “So much better than I thought it would be,” He murmured, kissing you several more times afterward. “Shh,” You scolded, locking onto his lips again. His lips parted from yours, kissing the scar on your face. “I’m moving in. You shouldn’t live alone when you could have a seizure at any time.” “Ok.” “I have to be at Emma and Jin’s before Jin goes to the Sanctuary, so you can ride with me to the house and then with Jin to the Sanctuary.” He tucked his head into your neck. “Mmmm,” You responded semi-coherently. “You’re stuck with me forever.” “However will I manage?” Your response was half-heartedly sarcastic and rhetorical, earning a chuckle from him. He kissed you again. “I’m mating you tonight.” You smiled up at him. The man that had driven you crazy for the past four months. “Fine, but you only have three years before I insist on having kids.” He grinned. “Sounds perfect.” He kissed you again, soft and sweet, then pressed his forehead to yours. “I love you.” “I love you too. More than you could ever imagine.” Maybe life wasn’t perfect and you had lost a lot, but you had Hoseok. “What did you say that night?” “What night?” “The night Emma and Jin went to the hospital to have the twins. I said they’ve got good genes, and you said something else, but I was half-asleep.” He pulled you into his arms completely, laying down with you after kicking your suitcase off of the couch. He was mostly on top of you, forehead pressed against your temple. “I said that ours would be cuter.” Nevermind. Everything bad was worth this perfect moment with him. “So…did you actually want to wait three years, or was that just in case I wanted to wait a few years? Cause, I’ve sort of had to deal with watching and imagining you as the mom to my pups so…” “Oh, that was totally for you, I’ve had baby fever ever since you said ‘our kids’ when I told you to tell people that the triplets were your kids.” “I don’t need the years.” “Then we’ll discard the years.” “Do you need time to adjust to the idea of us being in a relationship?” “Now that I look back on it, aside from the whole sex, sleeping together, and romance we were basically a married couple so not much really changes except I can stop torturing myself.” You nodded. “Huh. I guess you’re right.” “Yeah.” He pressed a kiss to your cheek. “This is really comfortable.” “It is,” You agreed, yawning. “Nap time?” “Totally nap time.” He wiggled a little, getting more comfortable, fluffy tail covering your legs as well as his. “Goodnight, y/n. Love you.” “Goodnight, Hobi.” His hold on you tightened and he grinned. You pressed a chaste little kiss to his lips. “I love you.”

Masterlist. ~ Part 9. ~ Masterpost. ~ Specials: Next

Tagged: @jiminslye @musicandmusing @it-is-dana @kimmie113080 @bluebirdphantom

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brohood-assassins-imagines · 5 years

Text

So We Endure - Chapter 3: Times of Change

A/N: Yet another chapter of heartache. I’m going through a bit of a writer’s block for it, so next post I make will probably be a Connor smut I’ve been cooking up for a while! As always, this fic has a playlist (made by me) here

Word Count: 4k+

“What do you mean I’m out?!,” you screeched, eyes watering as a painfully cold grip took hold of your heart.

Mr. Jackson — Jack, as he liked to be addressed to — sighed wearily, cleaning one of the various pints of beer behind the counter. “It is what I said,” he shrugged, not looking you in the eyes. “Your out.”

“Jack, you can’t do that!,” you pleaded, pointedly ignoring the looks some of the early in customers shot you.

“Already did,” the man put the pint down, picking up another one. “Don’t need myself a singer who’s gonna whore herself out to my customers and have them never come back,” he stared you down, expression bitter and anger barely contained. “Shoulda said so before, that your a whore. Woulda treated you likewise.”

You felt the world stop around you, a shiver of fear running down your spine. The squeezing of your heart tightened and you leaned in towards the man. “Jack, I have a son. I need this job, I have to keep him fed and—“

“And on your way to a new one, I see,” he spit the venom casually, not minding the tears gathering at the corner of your eyes. “Shoulda thought ‘bout him before, eh?”

“Nothing happened, Jack! For fucks sake!”

“Yeah, right,” he cackled at his own inside joke. “Outta here with ya. Already hired a new girl, don’t need ya makin’ a scene now.” The man picked another glass up, polishing it without really watching he was doing, “and to think one day I hoped to get it on with ya…”

Humiliated and wrecked, both emotionally and physically, you hunched your shoulders and allowed yourself to cry quietly before being shunned out of the pub. As much as you hated the job, it was what had kept you and Charlie relatively warm at night; with a roof over your heads. You risked a look at one of the clocks on your way home — a quarter after 6 — and tried to think positively. The rent was paid. You had money for the next one, it was okay, if you tightened the belts. There was food at home, you’d get to spend some time with Charlie—

It all felt like a bad joke on you.

The door whined and creaked as Mrs. Dolloway opened it, letting a small gasp of surprise get past her thin lips. “Oh dear!,” she put a chubby hand against her cheek, “ya certainly dropped by early today! I wasn’t expecting ya around ‘til half past nine or so, girl.”

You forced a smile, fidgeting with the tattered cloth-bag in your hands. “Yes, I… got out early.”

Mrs. Dolloway frowned at you, closing the door a bit as she leaned closer to you so the kids wouldn’t eavesdrop. “What happened?”

Closing your eyes, you sighed and twisted your lips as if tasting bitter medicine. You never managed to lie or cover things from your neighbor — and possibly best friend —, as much as you wanted to. She didn’t need to worry more than she already did. “Dolls, really…”

“Dontcha ‘Dolls’ me, girl!,” she pouted, a slight rise of color coming to her complexion. “Come on, out with it. Ya can tell me things, ‘m not made of glass!”

You huffed out a laugh, shaking your head. “Jack fired me today.”

As expected, the woman gasped indignantly. “Whatever for?!”

“It doesn’t matter, really,” you cut in quickly, eager to change the subject. “I’m already looking for a new job.”

“This close to winter? Best thing ya gonna find will be laundry work, probably worse,” she stressed, brows knitting together in worry. “Want me to ask aroun’?”

It wasn’t entirely fair, you knew. You already felt like a parasite with all the help people offered so freely — the guilty pang of Mr. Fry—Jacob’skindness still all too recent in your mind. Drawing your lower lip into your mouth, you bit nervously on it. “If that isn’t a bother, Dolls—“

“Silly girl,” she stopped you before you could finish. “Silly, silly girl.” The plump woman closed the door behind her, pulling you into a tight motherly hug; her soft hands smoothing your shoulders lovingly. “Already taken care of, I tell ya. Stop worryin’, eh?,” she whispered as you awkwardly wrapped your arms around her.

“Thank you,” you offered meekly, allowing the tears to well in your eyes, “thank you so much, Dolls. I just—“

“Hush now,” she pulled away, patting your face gently. “Don’t ya dare go all soft on me now, we still have to talk, eh?,” she smiled. “I asked Tommy what happened that day n’ I think ya should talk to Charlie too.”

“I tried, at the park,” you confessed, leaning against the railing of the stairs, “but it didn’t feel right, at the moment. Didn’t want to make him get antsy on me while we’re out, you know?”

Mrs. Dolloway nodded sagely, but it didn’t seem to smooth her ruffled feathers. “When you can, then. Sooner than later, is my advice.”

You frowned. “What did Tommy tell him?”

“Charlie?,” you called softly, drying the boy’s hair with a towel. He answered by turning around and looking you in the eye. “Mummy loves you very much. You know that, right?,” and upon his nod, you took a breath in before continuing. “Remember last time I fetched you at Auntie Doll, you and Tommy had a fight?”

Your son’s face scrunched up and he cast his gaze down with a slight pout. “It wasn’t my fault,” he offered, although hesitantly.

“Mummy knows,” you said, sitting beside him at the bed, back resting against the wall as you appraised the boy. “I just want to make sure you’re not holding things back from me.”

Charlie’s lips twisted a bit, as he seemed to fight an internal monologue with himself. “I just…,” he fidgeted with the edges of the shirt you had finished fixing. “Tommy said our family is daft.”

“Daft?,” you prompted him on, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah,” the boy agreed, picking at his nails. “Because I don’t have a dad.”

You had been preparing yourself for this talk, but that didn’t stop the cold drop in the pit of your stomach. “And what do you think about that?”

Charlie frowned, looking at you as if he hadn’t fully grasped what you had asked. “Tommy asked me if I had a daddy…,” he started, although hesitantly, “I said no, because that’s what you told me,” Charlie cast his eyes down once more before talking again. “He said that’s dumb, that everyone has a daddy, but I said I didn’t n’ he told me our family is daft,” he started crying, shaking slightly, “’das why I hit ‘im. ‘M sorry, mummy.”

“Hey, now,” you called in, opening your arms for a hug, “our family is not daft. We love each other a lot, don’t we? Isn’t that what matters?”

The boy sniffled, moving closer as you allowed him to rest upon your chest. “But he’s right,” he mumbled quietly, “it’s true.”

You pressed your lips together, smoothing his hair and trying to hold back your own tears. “Don’t you like mummy, baby?”

“It’s not that,” he said, voice brittle with emotion, “I just…,” a quiet sob, “I wanted to have a daddy too.”

Silence grew heavy, broken only by the sniffling and sobbing from your son; and all you could do was hug him tighter.

Thursday morning came slowly, daylight barely making its way through the fraying edges of the ruined curtains. Days were growing colder with the approach of winter; you registered distantly and stretched, burying your face into the thin pillow as the tell-tale sounds of town started rumbling around you. Job hunting hadn’t been going the way you wanted — after walking around for 3 days straight, until your feet ached and chaffed in your boots, you came to the grim conclusion that Mrs. Dolloway had been right to some degree, because even the laundry houses and the few factories that offered jobs year-round were overstaffed.

At some point, you started doubting if there really had been such a sudden shortage of jobs around the slums or if people were simply avoiding you. Everyone loved to gossip around here, even if most tended to show you their kinder side; there were still the ones with venomous tongues and ill spirits, who’d pounce at the opportunity of pointing their fingers at you in a heartbeat.

You wondered if Mr. Jackson was to blame or if your poorly-thought-through display with Jacob earlier on Sunday to the bus stop had had anything to do with it.

Universe definitely wasn’t kind.

Charlie stirred against you, sleepy murmurs stopping as soon as you rubbed his shoulder. The boy was a blessing, truly, and you didn’t regret it; not him. He wasn’t to blame for anything. You closed your eyes again, opting for sleeping in for a bit more today. It wasn’t like you were to change anything and magically find a job today after leaving no rock unturned last few days. Sleep crept slowly, its pull gentle and sweet and—

A knock.

A knock?

Frowning, you sighed; halfway hoping it was your imagination or for another floor. You opened your eyes, resting a tired gaze upon the weathered wooden door. Someone — a male voice, you recognized — called your name through it, now knocking more insistently which made Charlie groan and turn to bury his face into the mattress.

“Heavens…,” you whispered, slipping out of bed, careful not to wake your slumbering son, to answer the door. It couldn’t be Mr. Ross, you had paid the rent on time yesterday and Mrs. Dolloway usually wasn’t up this early. “Who’s it?,” you inquired quietly, hugging yourself to retain the warmth from the bed.

“Jacob,” the voice answered, sounding far to anxious to belong to the same calm and confident man you who’s had tea with you in the kitchen last Sunday. It was early, you frowned, much too early than what proper education demanded to a breakfast visit, and it made you feel uneasy. What on earth did he want? Then he called your name again, “will you open up?”

Pressing your lips together and sighing resentfully, you unlocked the door and Jacob wasted no time at slipping in and closing it behind himself. “I— Jacob, I have never—“

“I know, etiquette be damned,” he spoke hastily, taking off roughened up cap that matched his outfit. No top hat today?, you thought to yourself. “But— I swear, as soon as I heard about it— Wha— How— Uh… you… you were fired?,” the words tumbled out of his mouth, tripping on each other as he cast a worried gaze at you; a wild look in his eyes that made you wonder distantly if he had slept at all.

“Jacob.”

“Are you okay?,” he continued, “do you want me to talk to Jack?,” the man asked now, pacing around the flat, trying to school his voice into something less anxious. “We can see to it, you’ll have your old job in the blink of an eye, I swear—“

“Jacob.”

He stopped, frowning and fixing you with a puzzled look. “What?”

“It’s fine,” you offered lightly, trying to force a smile into your lips. “I hated it there, either way. I’m a singer to some degree, it kept a roof over our heads for a while, and it’s okay.”

Jacob swallowed thickly, staring at you with a dumbfounded look. “You… Ah, you’re not mad?”

“Whyever for?,” your voice came out like a tired sigh. “It wasn’t your fault. If I am to blame anyone, I’d point fingers at myself for doing something so reckless and stupid—“

“You were desperate, there is a difference,” he quipped in, grimacing at the thought. “I’d have come sooner had you told me— why— why didn’t you tell me?”

You huffed out a laugh, crossing your arms in front of him. “Because I don’t know where you live, Jacob Frye. Much less how to contact you.”

Something seemed to click in his mind and Jacob scowled. “I’m sorry,” he offered, the high of his cheeks adopting an embarrassed shade of pink. “I feel like— I thought you’d have my head if I showed up here.”

Frowning as you moved closer to the kettle, you gave him a confused look. “Whatever for?”

“Because— well, because…,” he mumbled, shifting his weight from one foot to another. “I just...,” Jacob coughed, looking away with a somewhat relieved face and his shoulders stopped tensing up. Well, that went off terribly. “I thought you would be mad at me for making you lose your job that day—“

“You didn’t,” you said casually.

“—and I wanted to make sure you and Charlie were okay, so I just came flying here as soon as I could.” As you put the water to boil, he shoot a look at you that pleaded for something, even though you weren’t entirely sure what. “Are you sure you don’t want me to explain the situation to Jack?”

You splashed some water into the teapot. “I don’t want to have anything to do with Jack any longer, Jacob,” your voice came out colder than you intended and you tried to soften it a bit. “We had our divergences and he wouldn’t take me for my word,” you explained, opening the cabinet and pulling the tea box. You weren’t going to lie, seeing the kitchen cabinet filled with food like that eased the anxiety in your heart. “Besides, he’s a bloody penny-pincher and a pig.” At that, Jacob laughed and you turned around to catch his mischievous smirk at you. “Believe me, I’m better off out of there.”

“’Suppose I’ll have to find a new pub to drink at, then,” Jacob started, putting his cap back on, “because that new girl can’t sing for shit, I’m telling you.”

It didn’t surprise you, honestly.

“It’s not difficult to please the drunkards,” you shrugged, “a pretty face is all they need at some point,” after your jesting, noticing what you had said, you clapped a hand over your mouth and turned to give him a horrified look. “My apologies, I didn’t mean to—“

“It’s fine,” Jacob waved a hand dismissively, smirking as he walked closer to the stove and it occurred to you that he might be cold, without a thick coat on, “you can speak your mind around me,” he threw a few coals into the stove, proceeding to rub his hands together for warmth. “Besides, it was funny, and I believe I did tell you etiquette is not my best trait.”

You fidgeted with the kitchen rag in your hands, scoffing at his commentary. “Yes, I’ve been told.” As much as you hated to admit, you wanted to have someone’s company— needed it, really; someone who wouldn’t fuss and ask questions you didn’t want to answer, and last time had proven that Jacob wasn’t unpleasant at all to talk to. You shoot him a glance, trying to sound nonchalant. “Would you like to have breakfast with us? I was just about to start cooking.”

Jacob tensed, looking at you as if you had just told him to leave the flat, giving you a piercing gaze that deeply unsettled you; as if he could see through your lie. “That’d be lovely,” he blew into his hands, a smile already plastered upon his face, “thank you.”

Nodding, you turned around to cut up the cheese and bread — it was still so soft it made you wonder if Jacob bought it the same day it had been baked. Walking around, he got rid of his cap, putting it over the table, and asked “are you still looking for a new job?”

It was bound to happen, sooner or later. “Yes, although not with much luck, I’m afraid.”

“Oh?,” Jacob prompted, coming up next to you and pulling the same two mugs you had used to drink tea last time from the cabinet. It made you itch uncomfortably, for some reason.

“No one would hire me,” you explained, giving him an exasperated look that suggested you weren’t overly fond of the topic. “Not even the washhouses or the coal factory.”

Jacob hesitated for a second, looking mildly guilty. “I can help you, with anything you’d like.”

Just as he never ceased to surprise you, the annoyance seemed to come along in equal measures. You started to regret the invitation.

Turning around for a second, you offered him a disinterested “oh?”

The man shuffled awkwardly, giving you a pained look. “What I mean is… I can… help. More, is what I’m trying to say.”

Not knowing what to do with the silence, you allowed it to stretch a bit. “That’d be nice of you, but what I really am looking for is a job, Jacob.”

Jacob nodded, looking away with furrowed brows and as if he wanted to say something else; but ultimately stayed silent. You were somewhat thankful for it, but wouldn’t settle for having someone else paying your bills; you’ve been able to make things right up until now. The quiet that grew in the room evoked a heavy cloud of uneasiness and you wondered just when Charlie would wake up.

As if on careful coordination, a sleepy “mummy?,” called from the bedroom and you sighed in relief.

Offering Jacob a somewhat apologetic look, you hurried to the bedroom — which wasn’t really that far away, “hey, baby…,” you whispered, bending slightly in order to caress his head, “are you hungry? Mummy’s making breakfast now.”

Charlie yawned, turning to press his face into the mattress again and stretching out his arms for you to pick him up. “Are you going out today?,” he asked when you fixed him against your hip, resting his face against your collarbone.

“I don’t know yet,” you answered truthfully. “Let’s eat first, yes? We have a visit over today.”

“We do?”

You nodded, rubbing his back a bit. “Do you remember Jacob?”

The boy stayed silent for a moment, mind still hazy as he tried to recall where he had heard the name before. “Jake?,” he asked, looking at you with a confused look, “the magician?”

“Jake the magi—,“ you cut yourself, laughing softly, “yes, the magician.” Charlie’s eyes widened a bit, letting go of the heavy lidded look he was giving you. “Why don’t we go talk to him, mhm?”

He shifted a bit in your arms, as if embarrassed, until ultimately agreeing; although hesitantly. “’kay…”

Turning around to leave the bedroom, you caught sight of Jacob watching you with an expression you couldn’t exactly pinpoint; but it didn’t look bad on his face, you decided ultimately. The softness in his eyes made the hazel stand out against the olive skin and you wondered what he must’ve been thinking.

“Hey, sport!,” he called cheerfully, waving a hand at Charlie as the other took a hold of the backrest of a chair, “thought you’d sleep in forever.”

Charlie got flustered, resting his head against your chest in a gesture of comfort. “Hey,” he answered timidly, fiddling with the frilly neckline of your dress.

“Now,” Jacob started, approaching you both with a disarming smile, “I have a little something for you today,” the smile broadened when he saw that it had caught Charlie’s attention, “I wonder if you’re gonna like it.”

Your son looked at Jacob curiously, weighing his next words carefully. Charlie had never been very talkative strangers, but seemed to be growing out of it at times; with moments where he oscillated between both before ultimately making up his mind about the person. “What is it?,” he inquired, starting to develop a mild interest at the promise of a gift.

“Oh, I’m not really sure,” Jacob frowned, crossing his arms rather hilariously. “A little bird brought it to me and said it was your favorite.”

“Don’t be daft,” Charlie spoke in a half amused and surprised voice, “birds can’t talk.”

Jacob smiled at him, looking at you briefly. What Jacob lacked in etiquette and good sense, he made up with the way he got along with children — Charlie, in particular. You still weren’t entirely sure about him, but allowed yourself to be swayed over the attachment your son seemed to have developed over him.

“Well, you got me there,” he said, touching his chest lightly, “but you forget I’m a magician. I read it in the bird’s mind, actually.”

“No way!,” Charlie exclaimed, pushing away from your body and getting rid of whatever traces of sleepiness remained in his face, “really?!”

“Really!,” Jacob assured

He seemed to think on that for a few seconds as you shared a knowing look with Jacob. “Can you read my mind?”

“Oh, I can only read bird’s minds,” the man answered simply, “but I bet you’re still thinking about what the bird told me to give you.”

“Wrong,” Charlie giggled childishly, “I was thinking about what color your talking bird is.”

“See?,” Jacob gestured towards himself, as if resigned, “only bird-thoughts for me.”

“I want to know its color!,” Charlie protested and you giggled at the demand.

“Didn’t you tell me it was a blue one?,” you asked Jacob with a fake confused voice.

Jacob looked up at you, surprised at your input, but played along, “ah, yes,” he agreed, “a little blue bird asked me to give you this as a gift.” At that, the man pulled out the thin package from the insides of his coat.

“What is it?,” your son asked suddenly, twisting out of your arms as he leaned over and you were forced to put him down.

You looked at what Jacob had in hand — a bar of chocolate, of all things, and you were surprised the man even kept such a thing in mind. Smiling, you settled your gaze upon his face, at the pleased expression that spoke volumes of his character without the need for words.

“Chocolate,” Jacob explained, raising a finger before the boy could freak out, “but you gotta eat breakfast first, okay?”

Charlie pouted a bit, looking mildly disappointed even as Jacob offered him the candy. “Not even a piece?”

You supposed you owed him that much. Pretending not to pay attention at the exchange, you moved towards the stove and took the kettle out of the fire, pouring the fervent water into the teapot at the well-known ritual of making tea.

Looking over his shoulder — as you saw from the corner of your eye —, Jacob leaned down and whispered something to Charlie, who nodded eagerly, and gave him the candy back. You pretended you didn’t hear the clear sound of paper being unwrapped and the pleased giggle of your son as he rushed towards the bedroom with what you hoped wasn’t the entire bar right before breakfast.

“You shouldn’t have,” you whispered, voice softer than before, “you’re spoiling him.”

“It’s fine,” Jacob interjected, “he’s a kid.”

“Kids need to eat proper meals,” you huffed a laugh, looking at him as he leaned back against the counter beside you. “Thank you, though.”

He broke a piece of the chocolate and offered it to you. “You don’t have to thank me,” Jacob smiled when you took it, the candy melting a bit at where he had touched. “I’m glad you appreciate it, but you know that’s not what I’m looking for.”

You nibbled at it, reveling in its sweetness. It had been ages since you had had any chocolate and it was equal measures refreshing and heartwarming. “I hope you didn’t go out of your way for that,” you pointed out, fixing him with an amused look.

Jacob scoffed, breaking a small piece for himself, “no, I just happen to be a fan of chocolate myself,” he confessed, waving the still-considerable-bar in the air. “This is from my personal stash, actually.”

A stash. Again, the question about just who this man was nagged at the back of your mind. Chocolate was no cheap treat. “Don’t spoil him,” you looked at Jacob, stirring the infuser inside the teapot, “he’s too young and impressionable. Reality isn’t…,” you trailed off, lowering your head and staring at the chocolate in your hands.

“Reality isn’t what?,” Jacob called out, goading you on.

Sighing, you let go of the candy. “Reality isn’t this; random strange benefactors showing up at your flat,” you picked up the teapot, setting it over the table and moved towards the counter again, “with chocolate and food and offering to pay off your rent,” grabbing the piece of ham, you set it on the cutting board, “and wanting to give you money for whatever the reason!”

Jacob weighed your words, unmoving, and it both astounded and annoyed you in equal measures how he didn’t even flinch. “What is reality, then?”

You put the knife down, feeling the wet hot tears of anger welling up in your eyes. “It’s struggling,” you answered in a cold, matter-of-fact voice. “You work hard to gain your money, see that it’s not enough and you worry. You pay rent on your own, you buy food on your own, you teach your kids why’s that they can’t have a new toy or a pair of shoes on your own,” wiping the tears away, you fixed the man with a harsh stare, “that’s what reality is, and it’s not kind.”

He stayed silent for a short while, seeming to be mulling over what you had said and you were thankful for it in order to recollect yourself. “Maybe it doesn’t have to be that way,” Jacob whispered above the crackling of the fire and the distant chatter of the streets, “maybe fate has a kinder outlook on life than what you might be used to.”

Hesitating as you steadied yourself against the counter, you thought on what he had said. “It’s…,” stopping, you fixed a strand of hair behind your ear, “…a nice fantasy,” you decided ultimately, setting the plate of sliced ham on the table. The flat felt eerily quiet now, the tension in the air drowning out the sounds of the outer world. “But I won’t wait for it.”

It was a while since Jacob had been around.

Deep down, you feared you had been too harsh on your words; but in your defense, you were on the edge for days on end, looking for jobs that didn’t exist with people whispering behind your back in accusing tones; not to mention the whole situation with your son, now that he didn’t want go to Mrs. Dolloway’s. It wasn’t one of your best moments, you knew, but you couldn’t help but to lash out at anyone who pushed your buttons.

Sighing, you shook your head slightly, stitching a button into one of your worn out shirts. You wouldn’t be surprised if the man never showed up again; it had been almost a week, after all. You had paid rent with whatever was left of the money he had given you so freely before — under the doubtful gaze of Mr. Ross, who didn’t ask where you were getting those shiny new coppers — and feared what might come to happen if Tuesday came to be with you penniless.

Maybe you could sell one of your things, but what? You didn’t own anything but the necessary. It had been that way since father passed away, and—

No.

It wouldn’t do you any good to dive into painful memories and replay things over and over — you had to push forwards, no matter what.

With your mind set, you decided to get rid of the armchair if things didn’t improve soon. Nodding at your own decision, you looked over at the bedroom where Charlie slept soundly; lulled into sleep by the yellowish glow the fire from the stove cast into the walls of the flat. You couldn’t help but feel your heart squeeze tightly for him, as if someone had taken hold of it.

And that’s when frantic knock came down on the front door.

Startled, you hurriedly got up on your feet in order to stop the hellish noise before it woke your boy up. Muttering low curses, you went for the door and yanked it open with furrowed brows, only to be face to face with Jacob — a sweaty, red from exertion, with a manic smile Jacob.

“You won’t believe this!,” he started, letting himself in as he pushed the hood down from his face.

You were dumbstruck. He couldn’t be serious. “Jacob, you better have a good reason—“

“To come here in the middle of the night?,” he cut you, stepping closer and taking hold of your forearms with bare hands. “Believe me, I do!”

Curiosity spoke louder than the annoyance in your mind. “Out with it, then,” you spoke quietly, expertly shutting his mouth the moment he tried to speak again, “and try to be quieter, yes? Charlie’s asleep.”

Smiling wildly, Jacob leaned forwards — perhaps a bit too close than what you’d like — and whispered, “I got you a job.”

#jacob frye #jacob frye x reader #Assassin's Creed #jacob frye imagine #assassin's creed syndicate

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highfivecalum · 6 years

Text

Complete Mess

Anon Requested: I saw that you take requests and I was wondering if you could do like a best friend Calum where you have a baby from an exbf or something and you call him in a panic bc you’re freaking out and don’t think you can raise a baby alone and he comes over and helps u and you somehow find how that he’s in love with you??? Very specific I know

Here you go anon! I hope it’s as good as you wanted it to be :--)

You were exhausted. Drained of all and any energy you had. You hadn't had a good nights sleep since before you had gotten pregnant, and now, with your six month old daughter crying and screaming, you knew that you were definitely not going to get a good nights sleep.

You forced yourself out of bed and into the small guest bedroom that you had transformed into a nursery and sighed at the sight of your screaming daughter. You picked her up out of her crib and rocked her gently, shooing and shushing her, trying to get her to stop crying so much. You fed her, changed her diaper, sang to her, and tried to rock her to sleep, but nothing was working.

You felt tears prick your eyes and you didn't stop them like you usually did. All of the times before this, in the exact position you were in; sitting on the pink rocking chair trying to halt your daughters screaming and crying, you had forced yourself not to cry, but that night? You had to cry. There was no holding it in anymore.

You choked out a sob and let the tears fall freely down your cheeks. How could you think you could do this by yourself? Being a twenty-one year old single mother is not what you had in your life plan. You wanted children, of course you did, but when you were married and settled down and older. But alas, you were young, single, and a complete fucking mess.

Getting up from the rocking chair, you placed your still crying daughter back into her crib, and pulled your phone out of your sweatpants pocket. You were hesitant at first to call him, but he was your best friend, and he told you a million times over that if you needed anything don't hesitate or be afraid to call. So you did. You called him and woke him up at three-thirty in the morning.

"Hello?" His voice was raspy and that just made you start crying even harder. You weren't sure why. Maybe because he was sleepy soundly and you were envious of that or because you had just woken your best friend up because you were a hot mess and couldn't handle raising a child. Calum heard your cries through the voice and was instantly more awake. "Y/N? What's wrong?"

"I can't do this, Cal." You cried even harder. "She won't stop crying and won't sleep and I don't know what to do. I'm so tired and just want to sleep, but I can't, because she won't stop crying and- and I’m freaking out and-"

"Hey, hey," Calum stopped you. "Calm down, okay? Do you want me to come over?"

"Yes. Please." You sounded desperate, you knew it and, Calum knew it, too, but he wasn't judging you. He knew how hard this was for you and he promised he would help you as much as he could.

Thirty minutes passed and Calum was letting himself in your apartment, since he had a spare key, and making a beeline for the nursery where he frowned at the sight of you. You were still on the rocking chair, knees to chest, forehead resting on them, as you continued to cry. Your daughter's screaming and crying never stopped and it was starting to give you a headache and you felt defeated and useless because you just couldn't get her to stop no matter what you tried.

"Y/N." Your head shot up at the sound of your best friends voice and you frowned. He looked just as tired as you felt.

"She hates me, Cal." Your voice cracked and Calum's frown deepened. He hated hearing you talk like that. You were her mother, of course she didn't hate you, she was just a baby and all babies do are cry, eat, shit, and sleep.

Calum crouched down to your level and wiped the tears off of your cheeks. "She doesn't hate you, love. You're her mother, Y/N. And she's a baby; she's going to cry nonstop and that's not your fault, okay?" Calum assured you. He was an uncle himself, his sister had a two year old son, so he was good with children and he was experienced in dealing with distraught mothers.

"I'm not cut out for this, Calum. What was I thinking? I can't do this alone."

"You were thinking that your piece of shit ex-boyfriend wasn't going to up and leave you when you having a child with him became reality. And you're not alone. You have me and the guys. You may not have your parents, but you still have us, and we're just as much as family as they are."

Your parents hadn't been thrilled about you being pregnant. They were very religious, always following the sex before marriage idea and they thought that abortion was an abomination, so when they found out you were pregnant and thinking about getting an abortion, they basically shunned you. They hadn't spoken to you since. It was your ex-boyfriend that convinced you to keep the baby. He always talked about how he wanted to start a family with you and when he found out that you were pregnant he was thrilled.

But when you started gaining weight, he got scared, and when your water broke and you went into labor, he backed out and left you, like a pussy. It wasn't him in the delivery room with you. It was Calum. Your ex hadn't even met your daughter and you were hoping it was going to stay that way. You wanted your daughter to have a father, of course you did, but you didn't want her father to be a flake like your ex was.

"Go try and get some sleep, okay?" Calum took your hands in his and he pulled you up from the rocking chair. He wrapped his arms around your waist and yours went around his neck. You were calmer, less tense, with Calum's arms around you and you were eternally grateful for his presence in your life. "I'll take care of her. You just rest up."

Once your head hit the pillow you were out like a light. You woke up a few times here and there, just to drink some water or go to the restroom, and you rarely heard crying, which you were thankful for. Once you were all slept out, you got up from your bed and started going towards the nursery, but stopped once you heard Calum talking.

He was standing in the middle of the room, your daughter in his arms, as he swayed his body back and forth. He couldn't keep his eyes off of the bundle of joy that was yours. He was in love the moment he held her for the first time, even though she wasn't his. "You look just like your mom, you know that?" Calum spoke to your daughter in a gentle voice. "So beautiful just like her. Not like your asshole piece of shit excuse for a dad." You rolled your lips into your mouth, trying to stifle your laughter. "Don't tell your mom I said swear words to you."

You leaned your head against the wall and closed your eyes as you listened to your best friend talk to your six month old daughter that didn't even understand what he was saying. She wasn't crying anymore, but Calum continued to sway and talk to her.

"Ya know, I'm always going to be there for you and your mommy. She's my best friend in the world and always will be." Calum sighed heavily. "But it kind of sucks being in love with your best friend, knowing that she's only always going to be my best friend. But it's better to have her in my life as my best friend than not at all, you know?" Calum laughed at himself. "Of course you don't know; you're only six months old."

Calum continued to mindlessly talk to your daughter about any and everything and after a few minutes of eavesdropping on the one sided conversation, you decided to go into the nursery and make yourself known. "She must like your voice."

Calum spun around to see you leaning against the door frame with a tired, but genuine, smile on your face at the sight of the two. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Just for a second." You shrugged, not wanting him to know that you heard him admit that he was in love with you. You approached Calum after he set your now sleeping daughter back into her crib, and you wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head on his chest. "Thank you for helping me, Cal."

His arms wrapped around your shoulders and he rested his chin on the top of your head. "Anything for you."

"You know you're my favorite person in the world, right?"

"I hope so." Calum laughed.

"Can I ask you something without you freaking out?" He hummed in response. "If I never meet a guy that's good enough or right for me, can I tell her that you're her father?" Calum pulled away from you, wanting to see the look on your face, thinking you were joking. But you were anything but joking. "I know it's a lot to ask, but you're my best friend, and even if we don't stay best friends, I want her to know that her dad is the best person ever."

Calum thought his heart was going to beat out of his chest. "But I'm not his dad."

"I know," you shrugged. "But if she ever asks I want to tell her that you are. That her dad didn't run out on us like he did." Calum stayed silent and you frowned. "If you don't want me to, I get it, I just thought-"

"No, no, it's not that. I'm just surprised is all." Calum reassured you with his beautiful signature smile and your heart fluttered. You had always denied your feelings for Calum, since he was your best friend, but there was no denying now that you were undoubtedly in love with him. "Course you can tell her that. I would be honored."

You smiled and rested your head on his chest again. Growing a pair of much needed balls, you exhaled the sigh you were holding in, before confessing your love to him. "And Calum?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm in love with you, too."

#5 seconds of summer #5sos #ashton irwin #calum hood #luke hemmings #michael clifford #calum blurbs #calum hood imagine #calum imagine #calum and reader #calum and y/n #calum hood blurbs #5sos cal #5sos blurbs #5sos calum hood #5 seconds of summer blurb #5 seconds of summer imagine #5sos imagine

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mydivinepunishment · 5 years

Text

Okay so college drama thing.

It's not related to me but to my roommate since after I gave up on boys in general and limited myself to talking to non problematic people and my Kwon Jiyong Pillow I have a happy drama less life where I only cry about my exams now (lmao rip)

Anyways my roommate has been involved in lots of pointless drama and so she has these mood swings because of said drama (which involves lots of problematic people and obviously, a boy). Don't get me wrong, I love my roommate, she's pretty and has as much of a pretty personality to go with it but I'm so tired of her sulking to getting so much affected by that boy in general and that she taunts and teases the boy to only get a reaction out of him and laughs about it. (reminds me of my dysfunctional ex so it scares me) and she says she doesn't like him at all and keeps having late night conversations, purposely stays back in classroom after class is over to 'study' when it is to stay back with him. And I think this double sided thing is annoying as fuck because I could care less about your stupid feelings but it's just annoying in general because sometimes I become the third wheel accidentally just because she couldn't have bothered to tell me the truth and I don't know when to actually talk to her or approach her or walk her back or stay with her in class, if what she said about having a stomach ache was genuine or she just wanted to walk with him and not me back to the dorm.

And the mood swings Jesus. Listen once or twice is okay but they're getting so frequent, I'm tired of dealing with the repercussions of Their relationship, all the sulky moody behavior being targeted at me.

I come from what once was a domestic abusive household (my parents) and I know how I just quiet down and make myself smaller when people around me get sulky and angry, especially since she will bang things and I will just retreat to being that small child hiding under my blanket hoping my parents won't find me in my room..

Now that I write it out and feel tears down my face I understand what my real reasons might be. I love her to bits but she brings me back to the times I want to forget and avoid now that I am in college.

I want to leave all this PTSD, depression and anxiety and actually be a person. Forgive myself for the years that went down the drain because dad's drinking problem got worse.

I fought for myself all those years before. I was a smol 15 year old who fought against my father and told him on his face he can't hit me again ever without me retaliating back, the times we had to call the police because we genuinely thought he would kill us in his drunk stupor, all those nights I now spend with my fam (my class mate) here just high off my balls to forget that I exist just because I am constantly at war with myself because I love my Papa and I hate that man and just, I never knew my sweet sweet roommate will bring out this side in me and all I think now is, I don't care if my mum thinks the small 3 month course of antidepressants fixed me (didn't lol but best 3 months of my life???)

I am so tired of forcing myself to live life everyday, I want to get fixed, I'll go back home and go to the psychiatrist alone, I'm done being sad, living a life of being afraid of being shunned for the fuckery my parents and life made of me and start by not getting involved in my roommates drama. I just want to be happy please. That's all I want.

If you have so many complaints about him and the problematic people I don't get why you just don't leave them. You keep using the excuse that you're just preventing an awkward situation for 5 years and if so, I'm tired sorry, take your lame ass excuses to someone else, I love you so much but fuck off with your manipulative Bullshit and I don't want any kind of IN in your drama.

Peaceminusone from now BITCH

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bangtansdomain · 6 years

Text

bts reaction to their gf thinking they love someone else

Jin had been trying to find a way to broach the subject for some time now. Lately, you had begun to give him the cold shoulder. Every time he would walk into the room your smile would disappear, and you’d withdraw into yourself. He’d think it over and over and still have no solution as to why things had changed. The situation was only adding to the stress of his vocal practices. He wouldn’t be able to handle his straining cords being the reason the group would have to delay their next comeback. He would want to share his fears with you, but you haven’t been around as of late. When he’d walk into your shared home, he’d spot you sitting in the living room. The moment your eyes would connect, you’d get up and quietly announce you were going to bed. At this Jin would be wholly fed up with all the skirting around you’ve been doing. He’d march up behind you, grabbing you by the wrist and swinging you around to look at him. Looking up at him you’d see his eyes narrow, and lips set in a straight line. He’d profess everything that had begun to burn away at his patience. Fighting back tears, you’d reveal your fear of him being with someone else, to which he’d scoff. He’d call you selfish for thinking only of your insecurities and ignoring his own. Falling to your knees, you’d sob apologies into your hands, realizing the mistake you’ve made. Pursing his lips, he’d take a deep breath to calm himself before any more hurtful words could escape him, and further deteriorate your relationship. This hurdle was something the both of you would have to work on if this was to prosper, and he’d tell you as much as he’d crouch down and encase you in his arms, letting you cry into his shoulder.

“Jagi… if we want this to work, the communication between us has to be better. Acting childish and not confronting the problem doesn’t help the situation. It’s the one thing that can end what’s between us. Please try to learn from this and open up to me before making assumptions.” ☁

You couldn’t stop the haunting thoughts you had every night when you laid by yourself . Sometimes you started to wonder if he was actually in the studio all the times he’s claimed to be . He hasn’t been around in so long you can’t fight off your own insecurities . These days your boyfriend was never home, he had to work on an album and have it ready in a certain amount of time . Which was something you always supported but you hadn’t seen him in a while, and at this point, you felt single . You couldn’t stop the tears from falling onto his pillow tonight . You were so submerged in your own feelings that you didn’t even hear him enter the house . Yoongi furrows his eyebrows as he hears your sniffling .

“Baby?” your eyes widened slightly when you heard him in the bedroom not realizing he’d heard you crying . When he reaches for you, you instantly distance yourself from his cold fingers . He stares at you before he softly whispered “What’s wrong?” You hesitated, wondering if you should tell him or not . After a few minutes, you decide to answer him, letting him know how much pain he’s been causing your heart .” Y/N , this is my job… I know I haven’t been home lately, but I'm under a lot of pressure… not only physically but emotionally as well . “ He buried his face in his hands “ I really wish I had your support… since I don’t really have anything else..” You looked at him and realized you were being sort of selfish . You gently grab his hands and make him look at you . “Yoongi…. I do support you . I’ve just been too in my head lately . “ He nods slowly “I’m sorry I haven’t been around to protect you from your demons . But I love you Y/N .. you’re my strength so please never forget that.” He gently strokes your cheek “I promise to take breaks and to come home from time to time . Don’t be afraid to come spend some time with me in the studio . “ He pops out his infamous gummy smile, and you realize he’s never stopped loving you . ☔

Hoseok would seek you out, tired of having his text messages over the last week or two left on read. Upon finding you, he’d bring face to face the issue at hand. He’d be vocal about how he’s been feeling lonely and pushed aside. He’d admit that he has been stressed out with this new choreography he has to come up with. The new dance routine taking up all his time and even keeping him up late due to his need to perfect it. Standing there listening to everything he’d gotten off his chest, tears would immediately roll down your cheeks. At the sight of them, Hoseok would instantly become alarmed, hands midway to you not knowing whether he should comfort you or if he had hurt you in some way. Through your tears, you’d blurt out how you’d believed he was in love with someone else, that you’d been struggling with how to let him go. Acknowledge aloud your inhibitions about your relationship and your standing with him. You’d apologize, hands wiping and covering your face. His eyes would widen in shock before he would plaster a huge smile on his face and sweep you up in his arms. Arms wrapped tightly around you, as he nuzzles your hair, laughing with joy.

“I’m sorry, beautiful. There’s no way I could possibly love anyone else. You are my strength that keeps me going every day. I’m too selfish with you to let anyone share in the love you save just for your Hobi.” ☁

It would be a rare day where Namjoon was home, trying to spend time with you. He would think you’d be happy; instead, every attempt he’d make at having a conversation you’d give one-word answers to, and any intimate contact you’d find a way to remove yourself from. Namjoon would begin to feel frustrated and restless not knowing what was wrong. Had he done something to upset you? Or could something be bothering you that you didn’t want to burden him with? He’d sit there lost in his mind, going over every possibility, or situation, that could have led to this relationship becoming destitute of any affection. Reaching for you and having you slightly move away as if moving to do something would be the last straw that broke the camel’s back. Finally confronting you about your recent indifference, with exasperation bleeding into every word, you’d finally crack and ask him if he still loved you. Namjoon would stare at you in confusion before stating that he does, in fact, love you. He’d then want to discuss why you would even question it. You’d be too afraid to voice your recent fears, but he would gently sit down with you and encourage you to speak with him. After some gentle prodding, you would confess to him every negative thought that had manifested for the last few weeks. Namjoon would feel horrible after hearing this and would explain how he’d been letting himself get too absorbed into producing the new album, that he’d been neglecting you as a result. Expressing his frustration and terrible need to perfect every beat. He’d pull you close to him and hold you in his arms as he placed a kiss at your hairline.

“Baby, I’m so sorry... I never meant to create a rift or the illusion of me somehow moving on from you. I promise to work on managing my time between us and work better.” ☁

You ended up staying home from work that day since you weren’t feeling well . Lately, you had felt like you had barely been receiving attention from Jimin . You understood how busy he was all the time, but you couldn’t help but feel like he’s sort of forgotten about you . But little did you know Jimin had noticed how you were acting . He wasn’t sure as to what had changed between the two of you, but he was determined to figure out what was wrong and fix it . He didn’t want to lose his entire world, that would break his heart . When Jimin arrives at the house, he looks for you immediately . When he sees you lying on the sofa with the television off, he’d lay down beside you but wouldn’t say anything at first . He’d just listen to your breathing as he held you in his arms . After a few minutes he gathers up the courage to ask you whats wrong . Once he found out that he’s the reason you were so blue he’d be so disappointed in himself . He’d instantly feel like a terrible boyfriend . He ran his fingers through your hair and made sure you got everything out, never interrupting or cutting you off once . He’d caress your cheeks and look into your eyes .

“I love you more than I love myself and I want you to know I’m sorry I’ve made you feel this way. He pauses for a second as if he’s afraid of your answer . “Can I make it up to you?” You nod and with that Jimin takes you out and shows the world just how much he loves his baby . ☔

Taehyung would be searching for you; opening the doors as he passed by, calling your name into each room. He couldn’t understand why you had disappeared. The two of you had entered Big Hit together, on your way to the practice room to retrieve something he’d forgotten. He’d spotted his noona and asked you to wait a moment while he spoke with her. When he turned to call you over you’d disappeared. He began looking for you all over, hoping you hadn’t left the building. He’d finally find you in an empty dance practice room that was used by trainees. The place would be dark, but he’d hear your sniffles and call out to you. You’d instantly try to quiet yourself, but he would turn the lights on, and his wide eyes would zero in on you. His eyebrows furrowing in concern upon seeing your tear-stained face. Quickly reaching your side, he crouched down and reached his hand up to wipe your tears, but you move away from him. His hand suspended in the air before returning to his side, and he quietly asks you why you’ve been shunning him lately. You wouldn’t answer which would, in turn, make him question you and whine more before word vomit got the best of you. Hearing your concerns, he’d look at you with sad, guilt-ridden eyes. Voicing the thoughts that you believed he was in love with his noona and that you would leave him to be happy if he were only honest with you, made him realize how wrong he’d been at this. Not knowing how to answer you he’d stand up, pulling you up with him. Turning and walking out with your wrist in his hand so you wouldn’t escape; you stared at his back confused. Reaching the dance practice room you were previously on your way to earlier would only confuse you more. Swinging the door open to a dark room, and suddenly the lights would come on, shocking you. All the boys and staff members you’d become friends with were all there shouting “Surprise!”, With a giant banner with the words “Happy Birthday” printed in large letters on it. Tae’s noona from before, rolling in a birthday cake. Taehyung would wrap his arm around you from behind, placing a kiss on your shoulder before placing his chin on the same spot. Then he’d whisper into your ear that he had only been planning a surprise for you.

“I’m sorry I made you believe I didn’t care anymore. I was only asking noona for her help on what kind of birthday surprise party I should throw. I needed it to be as perfect as the girl I’m in love with. I hope you like it.” ☁

For weeks Jungkook had been trying to get you to hang out with him, but for some reason, you kept declining, and he couldn’t figure out why . After three full weeks of not seeing you, he had decided to go and ask the boys what they think on the situation . Jungkook is still young and wouldn’t realize that him being playful with other girls while in a relationship had caused you to become jealous and distant . Once he figures out what was wrong he’d be out of the house so fast . Even though Jungkook isn’t good with emotions and isn’t very experienced with relationships, he’s still a sweetheart . He’d pick you up some flowers and your favorite candies before showing up on your doorstep . He’d ring the doorbell, holding a bouquet of purple hyacinths, the flower of forgiveness . He wasn’t too sure you’d actually forgive him, but he was hoping you would . He’s snapped out of his thoughts when the door opens . He looks down at your tear-stained cheeks, and a wave of guilt washed over him . He knew he caused this and he wished he was more observant . He takes in a breath of air before he speaks

“I only have eyes for you . “ ☔

#BTS #bts reactions #BTS x Reader #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #anon #anon request #writer: bunny #writer: cloudless #bunny loves yoongi #cloudless loves namjoon #bunny and claude

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 5 years

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COTW 14 - SO I hear ya'll like updates? How about full chapters? Talk to me?

Eren felt revolted with himself. The pup inside of barely looked human., the growth was terrifying to see on screen. His first thought was that the tiny pup looked like some kind of mutant, his heart racing as he wondered if the little life was in pain. It was so much smaller than their sibling, the guilt too much as looked from the screen. Yet the image was burned into his mind. He didn't know what to do now. He hated himself for thinking Levi's child looked so disturbing and disgusting, especially when Levi was so in love with them. His alpha wanted these pups so badly, but everyone was talking aborting, and making plans for his future without him. He didn't want to hear it anymore. He knew he was a bad omega... that's how they made it seem. Females and female omegas got sympathy from the staff discussing his case, while he just felt shunned. Judged over his dynamic... They might be awesome at their jobs, they wouldn't be at the hospital if they weren't, but he felt so dirty. Levi would be furious if he told him, so he hadn't. The staff were so much more politer to Levi about everything. They'd explained it to him, and possibly outcomes. Treating Levi like an equal, because there was no way at all an omega could understand anything. They could all fuck off. He hadn't even been able spend New Year's night with Viren. He'd been forced to finish Anna's birthday present in hospital, where they didn't appreciate his arts and crafts project. He'd bought the girl a proper high quality gold locket, it was large for her size, but knowing she'd grow into it. The project they hadn't like was when he'd carefully sealed two small photos with a water proof coating. One photo was of Anna just after her birth, while the other was from the photo of Moblit from the night of his 20th birthday when they'd all been so happy. Moblit might be gone, but he know how fiercely he would loved her. He wanted to make sure Anna knew that every single day of her life. Levi's gift to the little girl was paying for her ears to be pierced, not that his alpha knew. Levi would have probably tried to gift her cleaning supplies if he could have. Hardly the right gift for a four year old who was a total little miss. After 8 long days in hospital, he was finally released. In his opinion it was 8 days too many, and he definitely wasn't going to miss being there. Hanji had come to see him after his blow up, but he just wasn't ready to talk to her about it. He didn't want her apology, or her forcing a conversation about everything but the pup. He'd wanted more time to figure out everything with Levi. Levi was the father after all. Levi talked to him like he had brain cells. With Levi "supporting" him into their apartment, he was beyond relieved to be back home. Viren running ahead of them to jump on the sofa, sending Titan running with his happy yelling. Their son having decided that he wanted to wear pyjamas all day, or at least that was what Levi told him when he they'd come to pick him up. All Eren wanted was a shower and 10 years worth of sleep in his own bed. The stupid clean smell of the hospital had left him feeling nauseous for days. It wasn't the same smell as when Levi cleaned the apartment, and his alpha's scent wasn't there to push everything else away "I have a split shift, so I'll be out from 6 to 12, is there anything you want?" "A shower. Then some sleep..." "Do you want a hand?" Nope. He didn't want Levi looking at his body or his stomach. He didn't want anyone looking at his body or his stomach "No. I'll be ok. Why don't you spend some time with Viren? If I take a nap, I should be alright to sit up with him tonight" "I don't mind putting him to bed before I head out" It might not have been Levi's intention to make him feel like the alpha didn't think he could handle their son, but his omega went right there. He'd missed Viren so much, and really wanted to rest so he having extra long cuddles with his son. Finding himself nodding, Levi kissed him on the cheek "I put fresh towels in the bathroom for you, and I remade our bed" "I'm sorry. I think I want to take a nap in my old room... I'm just..." "No. It's ok. You do whatever you need to. There's something I need to talk to you about, but it can wait" You don't just tell someone that, then end it with "but it can wait". It was as bad as "We need to talk". What the hell was supposed to do with this piece of information now? Was Levi not under the impression that he was only mimicking a functional human being, when in reality, he was dead on his feet? He couldn't do the words, let alone the adulting. At least not until he'd showered and gotten every bit of shitty hospital scent off. Did Levi not know how much he was looking forward to not having to shower using a shower chair, under the supervision of a nurse because they thought he was going run off through the hospital naked? He wasn't actually sure if that was what they thought, he just didn't appreciate the hovering "Eren?" "Sorry. I'm too tired to think" "It's alright. Go take a shower, and get some sleep. It's nice to have you home" Nice. Not "Welcome back to where you belong". Fuck. He'd missed his omega, and the constant love it filled him with his for children. Now it could kindly fuck off again. It only had one job and that was more of a background feeling that the had push past its constant insecurities to feel. Now that he was home, it'd be easier to hide his thoughts and feelings from Levi. Levi had work. He had Viren to distract him, and Titan. He missed the fat cat, and had gone overboard with Christmas presents. Titan had been gifted a new grooming brush, new collar, a new tag, a new water bowl that was a fountain so he always had fresh water, a new feeding station, a new bed, and new scratching post. Levi has teased him for it all, but he couldn't help it. Levi's overweight tom was probably his best friend, as he was so much easier to deal with than people were. Cuddles, pats and food. He liked the exact same things, and Titan was just the right size to be warm and comforting as he slept back to back with him, or tried to wedge himself above the swell of Eren's stomach, and below the pile of pillows Eren liked to use. Starting to walk across the room, Levi closed the door with enough force that he flinched "Sorry, it slipped. Before I forget, I left your mail in your room for you. I think there was a package and few envelopes" "Thanks. I'll look at them later" He didn't remember ordering anything, not that he could remember much of anything... fuck... it was definitely bed time. * Viren had come climbing into his bed on his own. Eren had thought sleep would be easy to find, but the moment his head hit the pillow, his mind decided it wanted to be wide awake. His thoughts running circles as he attempted to get comfortable. If anything, his bed was too comfortable, his body melting into the softness of his blankets, and the comfort of familiar scents. Pulling his son to him, he pressed kisses to Viren's hair. The boy was beautiful. Everything about him was so perfect, even if things had been strained between them, he could never hate him "Hey, baby. Have you been having fun with daddy?" "Daddy let me wear my pyjamas!" His son sounded so damn proud of the fact "Did he?" "Yep! And we watched 'toons!" "You love your "toons", don't you baby. What about Anna, have you been playing with her?" "She's a girl" "Yep. She sure is... where's daddy now?" "Daddy's in the food" So daddy was in the kitchen. Ok "And you thought you'd come see mummy. You know what that means?" Viren looked at him wide eyes "Kisses!" "Mummy! Nooooo!" Blowing raspberries on Viren's cheeks, his son screamed with laughter. So loud that Levi came to check "Viren, I told you not to disturb mummy. Sorry, Eren. I'll take him" But... cuddles. Viren would probably get demanding soon, but this was nice "He's alright" "You need your rest" "I am resting" "Viren, come to daddy" Daddy was still his favourite, yet Viren was sweet enough to look torn "It's ok baby, you go with daddy" "Mum?" "If you stay with mummy, there's going to be more kisses" Pursing his lips, his son squealed in anticipation. Kissing at the hands that tried to push him away, Viren managed to kick up and against his chest "Viren!" Scolding him, Viren was confused by his father's tone. Sure it'd hurt, but his son hadn't meant it. Tears welled in Viren's grey eyes "It's ok baby. You didn't hurt mummy" "I'm sorry!" "No. No, baby..." Wiggling away from his hold, Viren started to cry the boy stubbornly climbing off the bed to run off past Levi "Did you have to scold him like that?" "You're supposed to be resting" "I was having cuddles with Viren, not running a marathon!" "Don't get mad at me for worrying about you" "I'm in bed. I'm resting. Viren just wanted a cuddle and I wanted to give him kisses" Coming running back, Viren had his favourite teddy in his hold. Ignoring Levi, the little boy climbed back on the bed, shoving the bear in Eren face "Mummy!" "Hello, Mister Bear..." "Mister Bear wants to make mummy better..." Eren heart melted "Thank you baby, but I think Mister Bear is telling me he wants to be with you" Viren beamed at him, even with tear tracks down his face "We can share. Just this once though" "Ok baby. Mummy is going to have a sleep, do you want to stay with me? Or go with daddy?" Viren looked to his teddy, nodding as if it was talking to him "I want to stay with mummy" Ha. Suck it, Levi! "Ok, here we go, come curl up with mummy. Mummy missed you" Shifting the blankets, Viren moved into his hold. Mister Bear between them "I guess I'll go then... I'll be home a little longer, if you need anything" "We'll be fine" "Call if you do. Seriously, you need to be resting" "Levi, it's fine. I can handle a three year old who wants cuddles" What he couldn't handle was a 40 year alpha who was hovering as if he really couldn't handle their toddler. Blocking Levi out, Eren leaned over and pressed a kiss to Viren's forehead, surprised when the boy returned the gesture. This was far better medicine than anything he'd had in hospital. * Levi was at work when Viren had woken him, his son shaking him awake to tell him he didn't want to go to sleep. What did it matter if Viren didn't want to sleep? He'd stayed for cuddles until he was content to run off, and now he wanted more cuddles again... he'd take them, even when they were an excuse not to go to bed. Lifting his son, Eren carried him out the sofa, dropping Viren down in the corner with a smile "Did daddy give you ice cream?" Viren shook his head. It didn't really matter if he had. He wanted ice cream and Viren didn't want to sleep. They had hours until Levi came home again "Do you want sprinkles? Or chocolate?" Viren hummed as if he were considering his options, when they both knew what it was going to be "Both!" Yep. He knew it "Ok baby. Give mummy a second" A second might have been a generous understatement. First he had to use the bathroom, then he had to make sure Titan had his wet food, and that there was water in his fountain, followed by checking the fridge for fruit. He had no idea why Levi insisted on storing the banana's in the fridge. They lived on the bench, in their bowl, where they were remembered. It was their home... not the bottom shelf of the fridge where they didn't belong "Muuuuum?" "Give me a sec baby!" Fuck it. He couldn't remember if he's ever had a banana split, or at least one like in the movies, but he was sure Viren hadn't. They had to be slightly healthy, right?. Nuts, dairy and fruit... and chocolate... oh... fuck it. It was worth it if it made Viren happy. They could all use some happiness in their lives. Settling down with Viren, the two of the shared the banana split as they watched Viren's choice in movies, something with super heroes he didn't know. Usually he was stuck with Anna's choice. She'd try and sit through the things Viren liked, but the moment there was a break, the program was changed before they knew what happened. The only time it didn't happen is when Eren had hold of the remote. Sitting with his legs along the sofa, Viren on his thighs, and his stomach as the table, both he and Viren jumped at the knock on the front door "Daddy!" It was too soon for Levi to be home. Scrambling off his lap, the toddler went running to the front door. He hasn't conquered the lock yet, so all he could do was hold the knob with both hands and swing against it impatiently "Mum!" "Mum's too fat to rush. Hold on" Stupid stomach. Being a table was about all it was good for... he couldn't stand it. And he couldn't cope with his hate for it, as one pup in there was still doing just fine. Knocking again, Eren was ready to ignore it completely. All their friends should know better than to knock twice, in his current condition, and delivery people didn't come this late at night. Levi had made dinner, so it definitely wasn't pizza. Hitching the chain on, he flicked the bolt round so Viren could open the door. Shooting him an annoyed glare, his son wasn't happy that it didn't open all the way. Forced to poke his head around the corner, his son huffed "You're not my daddy" The toddler than shutting the door in the face of their visitor "Viren..." He couldn't be mad at the boy for his bad manners, not when he wanted to do the same. Opening the door, he sighed, prepared to apologise for Viren's behaviour "Hello, Eren. It's been a while. I'm hoping we can talk" His first instinct was to slam the door in Floch's face. "A while" had been over two years. A while" hadn't been long enough "Eren, did you get the letter?" "What letter?" His voice was sky high, confused as fuck... and leading to Floch raising an eyebrow "Sorry. I've been in hospital since... well, a while" "I'm sorry to call so late. But when I didn't hear back from you, I thought it best I come tell you that you've been summonsed to appear" "Hold on. I have no idea what you're talking about" "I'm talking about the Karanes Incident. Look, can I come in? It's easier than doing this through the door" "Levi isn't home right now..." It was just him and Viren. He didn't need a panic attack, or his nosy three year old hearing anything "I did try to keep you out of it, but the trials going ahead. It starts in two weeks time, which means there's a lot to cover" Floch wasn't listening him. Why was he so shocked that an alpha wouldn't listen to him in his own home? "Hold on. Let me do the chain... Viren's just had sugar... He's either going to ignore you, or have a tantrum... you've got shit timing. I just got out today..." Talking more to himself, in an attempt to clam down, than to Floch, Eren closed the front door. Once again tempted to leave it closed. Karanes was years ago... Letting Floch in, Viren wasn't happy about it. His son refusing to go to bed, or to watch TV when there was a stranger in their house. Lowering himself down into a dining chair, he couldn't help but shy away as Floch's eyes drifted to his stomach "Congratulations" "This isn't about that..." "Viren..." "Floch. You're not here to discuss my personal life. I've been in hospital since just before the New Year, and now you're showing up on my doorstep. What is all this about?" "You don't need to be on guard" "Excuse me. I haven't seen you in years. I would have been fine without seeing you ever again. What is this trial? You said it wouldn't go to trial" "Because I didn't think it would. When The Church fell apart, the fall out was huge. Ministers. Politicians. Police. Their influence was wide spread" "I know that. Probably better than you do" Floch disregarded his curt words "One of the politicians is kicking up trouble in order to clear his name. The case is against both the Karanes and Shinganshima Police Departments" "And how does this relate to me?" "You are the son of Grisha Yeager. We know he worked for them for over a decade. It was you, and he, who destroyed the compound" "We both know..." "That you were involved. He's determined to show that the statement you provided, is nothing more than speculation" "So he needs someone to blame?" "Unfortunately. We did know there was a chance of this going to trial, and we attempted to keep you out of it. But as the only one who was actually there... if he can discredit you, he feels it'll go a long way to overturning the charges against him and his friends" "And if I don't testify?" "You risk being arrested" "I'm sorry. But I can't. I've got too much going on here" "Eren, he could walk" "And I'm pregnant. There's things in this world that we can't change" "Eren" "I gave you my statement. If they have questions, can't you just like... forward them on?" "His defence team is going to want to talk to you" "I can't do it" "Eren..." "I can't! Ok! I can't and I won't. I've been trying my hardest to forget all of it. Zeke. Grisha. Reiner. Bertholdt. All of it! I just want to be left alone" Wincing, Eren rubbed his stomach as pain flared across it, he wanted Floch out and the last thing he wanted was to go into labour or something. He didn't want to disappoint Levi "Eren. You've been summonsed" "And what? I'm an omega. We both know how that works" "That's why I tried to keep you out of it" Ouch. Yeah. No. Floch had to go. Rising to his feet, he glared down at Floch "I told you everything I knew. You have my statement. You have Levi's statement. Viren and Levi both nearly died from what happened. I will not let anyone hurt my family like that again" "If you don't testify, these people will be walking free" "They're not people. They're shit in human skins" "Then you should know we can let them get away with this. I've brought some photos, if you can identify any of them..." "It's been three and a half years! Nearly 4..." "You just have to look" "Leave my mummy alone!" Yelling at Floch, Floch didn't care. Placing down the file he'd brought with him, he placed it down in front of Eren. Eren sliding it back as he held one arm out, Viren not moving to his hold "Viren. Baby. It's ok" "You upset my mum..." "Viren, it's ok. He's leaving" His son continued to glare, Eren kind of proud his son wasn't letting himself be intimated "I'll leave this with you. And give you the night to think this over, and to talk to Levi about it" "I'm not going to change my answer" "There's actually a copy of your statement in there. I wanted to gauge your reaction. Read it. Think about it. Then we'll discuss those photos tomorrow" Floch saw himself out, like it was perfectly fine and normal. Eren frozen in his seat as he stared down at the manila file laying on the dining table. Why now? Why on top of this? "Mum?" He couldn't even look to Viren. His eyes glued to the stupid file. He didn't want to remember. He didn't want to go back to that place, even if it was through words on paper. He didn't need to read the thing to remember. He couldn't forget, even if he wanted to. Levi bore the scars of his past. He bore the scars of his past "Mum?!" Anything he said would be pulled to pieces. Floch knew that. That's why he didn't want him around the case. Anything he touched fell to pieces. Anything he touched, he corrupted. Levi... Zeke. Moblit. His father. His mother. Viren. He'd nearly killed his son giving birth to him. He had. Levi had said Erwin had worked on him... The pup inside him... he'd broken them... Then there were the people he'd worked with. Zeke had burnt the club down. Zeke had killed the people who'd chained him up. He'd left a trail of destruction wherever he'd been "Mummy... you're scaring me..." His arm dropped. He was scaring his son... "Baby. It's time for bed" "Mum?" "Don't argue with me, baby" "I don't want to go to bed!" "Viren, please..." "I don't want to go!" "Then go watch TV! Just give me a break!" The moment the words came out his mouth, his face burnt with shame. Viren didn't understand. Covering his face, he shook his head. He couldn't fucking breathe. This... this couldn't be happening... His father had destroyed the compound. He'd seen it burn. All of it was gone. Whatever this was. This had nothing to do with him... This was Floch's mess. Floch was the one who'd gone after them all... "I'm sorry, baby. Can you please go watch TV?" He needed Levi home. He couldn't calm down... he couldn't calm down and he couldn't breathe. Not when this stupid file was here... He couldn't call Levi. Not on the night of his first day home. Not when he'd been rude to him earlier. He couldn't just call him home to save him from a panic attack... * Walking into his apartment, Levi had expected the silence. He'd sent Viren in to wake Eren when the boy hadn't wanted to go to sleep for him... what he hadn't expected was the foreign scent of an alpha he didn't know. In an apartment filled with his and Eren's scents, it stuck out like a neon sign, just as pungent and unwelcoming as Eren's scent of distress. Yet. Instead of focusing on that, his alpha was focusing on the real question. Who the fuck had been in their apartment and why? "Eren? Are you awake?" Locking the door, Levi shrugged off his jacket as he walked towards the laundry. His uniform stank, and with his heart racing, he was trying to calm down with an act of normalcy. Clothes off, laundry on then time for a shower. Trying Eren's door, he found it locked. Knocking lightly, he got no answer. He was still yet to tell his omega he was quitting work. Eren hadn't wanted to talk while he was in hospital. He'd mostly kept everyone at an arms length, only conveying the things he needed from home. Hanji has tried to talk to him, but she'd gone and put her foot right in it. He wasn't impressed either. Neither of them had truly had time to process, or talk. Eren's fever had returned, the medication administered had left him fading in and out of consciousness. Not that Eren had noticed, he'd start to talk, only to trail off a few moments later, and pick right up again as if he'd never fallen asleep in the first place. Levi had been trying to ask Hanji to leave before she decided to pick a fight with Eren. He knew Marco hadn't been in to see Eren, as Marco didn't even know Eren had been in hospital. Erwin had tried to push, earning himself a black eye in the process due to his lack of sensitivity over the situation. Mike had been decent enough to leave it as "Eren has an infection". Erwin had tried to calm him, calling it "a simple infection that didn't require so much worry". It was the morning after the Hanji debacle, and he'd ended up telling Erwin to "shut the fuck up, because he had no idea what he was talking about". This lead to questions and he'd acted without thinking. Knocking on Eren's door again, his omega stayed locked away from him. Part of him wanted to kick the stupid door in, while the more rational part of his brain told him to break Eren's trust by finding the spare key too it, and letting himself... He forced himself to do no neither. Returning to their bedroom, minus the Eren that had turned him room into theirs, with the hope that his mate would wake before he left for work. Maybe the could even have breakfast together, and discuss his retirement then. When his alarm blared at him at stupid o'clock, Levi was sorely tempted to destroy his phone. His face was frozen to the point his nose was running, and that was with the majority of him buried under Eren's blankets. Shivering as he climbed from their bed, he growled softly as he walked into the living area. The curtains that usually hid the balcony from sight, were fluttering in the cold winds of the morning. No wonder it was freezing. Unsure if he'd missed it due to his tiredness last night, or if Eren had opened it without thinking, Levi walked over to the doorway, ready to lock the outside world away. The sun was yet to rise above the city, the world a dismal grey as he shivered again. Pushing the curtain away, he found his omega sitting on the floor of the balcony, Titan laying next to him. This wasn't what needed first thing in the morning. Didn't Eren feel how cold it was? Or was he completely out of it? Stepping onto the balcony, he mentally cursed the weather, and Eren for making him come out here. Squatting down, he placed his hand on Eren's shoulder, his mate so cold that Levi's stomach did that annoying dropping thing it liked to do when something was clearly up with Eren. Forcing his voice to remain soft and calm, he didn't want to scare the omega into trying to jump, or startle him if he was sleep walking "Eren? What are you doing out here?" Blank eyes looked to him, Eren's lips tinged blue. He needed to get his omega inside and warmed up. He was still recovering and his immune system still wasn't up to scratch. Eren's body didn't need the stress of becoming a human popsicle "I'm not having an abortion" Right... ok. His mate wasn't in the best of head spaces "Ok... but that doesn't tell me why you're out here" "I'm wondering why I'm alive" Shit. Just. Shit "Did... did something happen?" "Yeah. I ruined everything" This was not the place for an in depth conversation "Eren. How about we go inside? It's come out here" "Maybe I can freeze to death. Wouldn't that be fucking funny?" There was absolutely nothing funny about that at all "Eren..." "I told myself that I wouldn't let you see... but I guess I just want your attention after all. I don't know why you stay with me" "Eren. Come inside so we can talk" "I wanted to forget. I wanted to forget how bad I was. My existence causes pain" "Eren, no" "I can't even carry your children properly. Did you even want kids? Or was that something else I forced on you?" "You know I did. I do. I love you, and I love Viren. I love the two pups inside of you" "If I die. Do you think everyone can finally be happy?" "If you die, I know I will never be happy. Please, come inside with me" "I'm tired, Levi. No one wants to listen to what I want. Not the hospital. Not Hanji. Not dad. Not Zeke" "I want to listen. Here, come here" Eren let himself be pulled up by him, but didn't make a move to help walk back inside. Titan ran straight in, giving him a look that seemed to say he was watching over Eren until Levi got his shit together. Doing all of the work, he got Eren to the sofa, then backtracking to close the balcony up, making sure the top bolt was done so Eren wouldn't be able to just let himself back out there again. Freezing cold, he made another detour, grabbing the topmost blanket off their bed, before finally returning to Eren's side. Sinking down on the sofa, Levi wrapped the blanket around both of them. He wanted to pull Eren into his lap, but the omega was sitting ramrod straight, now not giving into his touches "Eren, what happened? Can you talk to me?" "It won't change anything" "You don't know that" "I do. Nothing ever changes. I hurt people and they die" "What are you talking about?" "I don't understand why I'm still alive. I shouldn't be alive. Dad should have just killed me off when he killed mum" He was fast growing angry at the lack of sense Eren was making. It was too early for such shit "You're not making sense" "Don't worry. I won't off myself" "Why are you being like this?! You said you needed someone to listen. I'm listening. Shitty Brat, you know I couldn't live if something happened to you" "I told you it won't. I won't harm the pups either. I don't want an abortion" "I..." "Everyone wants me to have one. That's all they talked about" The hospital... But that wasn't the only thing they'd talked about. Every day medical science was improving. There were cases of tumours being removed and the mum's being able to carry safely. That was all depending on the growth of the tumour to begin with "We have options. Weren't you listening?" "Right. You're right. I'm sorry" "Hey. You're not alone in this. I wanted to tell you last night, but I've put in my resignation at work. As of the end of the month, it'll be official" "Why?" The small forced smile on Levi's lips, as he tried to make Eren feel something other than frozen, fell "Why what?" "Why would you quit?" "To be here for you and our children" "So I made you quit" "No. I made the choice for myself" "Would you have done it if I wasn't a bad omega?" "You're not a bad omega! You're my omega. My mate. And you're scaring the shit out of me right now with all this death talk" "I guess I've said too much..." "No. You still haven't told me what set this all off" "I did tell you. All I wanted to do was forget, but I'll never be able to" A nightmare then? It was the most plausible reason for Eren being so upset, his omega had had a nightmare and hadn't wanted to disturb anyone with it "Things will get better. You're still freezing. Why don't you take a bath, while I make us some breakfast?" "No thank you. I'm not hungry" "That's because you're too cold to think straight. If you prefer we can take a bath together. Whatever you need" Placing his hand on Eren's stomach, he wasn't trying to be suggestive, only supportive "How can you touch it?" "Touch what?" "Doesn't my stomach disgust you?" "No. Why would it?" Rubbing the swell, he didn't understand what was disgusting. He loved Eren's swell, and their pups inside. He was worried for their second pup, but that didn't mean that he didn't care for it "I was just wondering" "I love it. It fills me with pride to see you growing swollen again" Leaning in, he kissed the corner of Eren's lips, feeling nothing in return. Eren was definitely trying his hardest to push him away, and that wasn't happening "Let's just take a bath together. I can wash your hair" Rubbing Eren's stomach a little harder, the omega stiffly nodded "Ok then" Getting Eren into the bathtub and between his legs, he felt like being a bad father. He couldn't help himself. Eren was slick thanks to his pregnancy, and his nape was right in front of him, while his hands were resting on Eren's stomach. He knew Eren was struggling, but their sex life had been great until Eren's fatigue, and he missed the feelings that came from knotting him. He wasn't about to do anything up his love, but that didn't mean his mind wasn't thinking of bending Eren over the bathroom counter. He didn't feel sexually frustrated, though things had been stressful for both of them. Maybe a little release was what Eren needed? To not be in his head? Resting his chin on his omega's shoulder, he sighed softly "How do you feel?" "Warmer" "Good. It's going to be cold today, so you should stay inside" "I haven't got anywhere to go" Levi sighed again, this time at himself, before trying to sound playful "You know what I mean" "I do. I wasn't planning on going anywhere" "I have a split shift again, so I'll be home for lunch. Is there something special you want?" "Not really" "Should I just surprise you?" "You don't have to do things for me. You don't have to force yourself" "I'm not forcing myself. I love you" "How can you?" "Easily. I love you. I love you, Eren Yeager, and I'm going to marry your stubborn arse, just to show you every day I do" "You shouldn't have quit work for me" "I did it for us. For the five of us. I'm tired of missing things. I want more time with Viren, and you, and these two. I want time for us. I want to be able to have sex with you, then lay in bed with you. I went to watch bad horror movies and Titan failing to cat" "You want to have sex? When I look like this?" "You are the most beautiful creature I have ever met. You're fierce and fiery, yet you can be so soft and sweet. Your stomach is full of my pups, our family growing as you do. I could never not want you. Your just as sexy inside, as you are outside" Sliding one hand down to grasp his lover's dick, and using the other hand to force Eren to face him, Levi pushed a hard kiss to Eren's lips. He didn't understand what could make Eren feel so undesirable, when he was perfect. Jerking the omega softly slowly as he thumbed at Eren's slit. Eren was going accept he was sexy and did all kinds of things to every part of Levi's anatomy, whether he liked it or not. He wouldn't force himself on his mate, but he could touch him intimately to show he did want to. That's why he kept everything so light, so as not to make him feel forced. The only display of forcefulness was his forced kiss in attempt to show all his affections through Eren's lips. When Eren pulled away, he let him "Levi..." He'd thought Eren was about to cry, or to break. Softly replying "I love you" "I don't want this" Releasing his hold completely on his omega to honour his wishes, Eren scrambled to leave the bath. His actions jerky and sudden "Eren, I..." Giving him a cold glare, his heart broke a little more "I'm repulsive. Just... don't touch me" Grabbing his towel, his mate made his way from the bathroom, leaving a wet trail as he did. What the fuck was going on this morning?! Eren was cranky yesterday, but it was clear he was happy to be home. Now he was acting... crazy. He couldn't keep up and didn't know what he'd done wrong... Was it the hand job? Maybe it was the hand job? His alpha didn't think it was the hand job. The smug arsehole wanted to keep going with the hand job. God. Now he was going to have to start all over again... Eren's brain was just as sexy as his looks. If given the chance, his mate could prove he had a lightening fast sense of whit, and humour. While it took a tiny fraction longer for things to sink in, he was incredibly smart for a kid who'd never been to school then concurred the school thing in less than three years. He loved being able to have an intelligent conversation with his mate that wasn't to do with Paramedic Procedures... * Eren had retreated to his room, refusing to come out, while Viren was still sleeping when Levi left for work. Coming home for lunch, Eren was sitting on the sofa with Viren, his son climbing down and running over to him "Daddy!" Reaching up at him, Levi lifted Viren to his hip "Hey, brat. Did you miss me?" "Yep! Mummy made pizza for lunch, but I wanted to wait for you" The way Viren said "pee-zah" alway brought a smile to his face "You didn't have to wait for me" "I was good all morning!" "Were you now? Would mummy agree?" Viren shrugged "Maybe" "That's my boy. Give me a kiss" Viren kissed his cheek "Alright. It's pee-zah time. Eren..." Eren wasn't there. He looked to his omega in time to see him disappearing into his room. On his hip, Viren sighed "Mummy isn't happy" "Not at the moment. He's just feeling sick" "He wasn't happy last night either" Viren covered his mouth with his hand in a very Eren move, but his comment was already out there "What do you mean by that?" Viren shook his head. Gently pulling his hand away from his mouth, his son sighed "Some man yelled at mummy last night and mum yelled back" What? "It wasn't Uncle Mike? Or Uncle Erwin?" Viren shook his head, while Levi couldn't think of who would possibly picking fights with Eren "Ok, well. I'll talk to mummy" "You don't need to. Here" What was the point of closing his door if Eren was going to come reappearing anyway. Shoving a letter into Levi's free hand, his mate took Viren from his hold the moment he could "What's this?" "I had a visit from Floch" Floch... Floch was never good news. Ever "Karanes is going to trial" "He said it wouldn't..." "Yeah. Well. I've been summonsed. He told me he didn't want me near the case and tried to keep me out of it. Even being a whale with a complicated pregnancy won't get me out of it" "Eren. The last thing you need to be doing is testifying. When did you find out?" Last night. Right. The moment he said it, he remembered it couldn't have been any other time than yesterday "Floch showed up after you went to work. Viren and I were watching TV and started trying to mess with my head. I can be arrested if I don't testify. The defence? Wants to pull my statement about "The Church" to pieces so they can all walk" Moving to place his hand on Eren's arm, his fiancée flinched away "I can't stand being touched right now. I'm sorry, but you need to keep back. I'm either going to start screaming, try to hurt myself or go into another panic attack over this. I wanted to forget, but here we are" "You... this morning... I thought you had a nightmare" "You have to sleep to have a nightmare. I was reading my statement. Floch was ever so kind to drop a copy by. Viren didn't want him here. Not that I did either" "I wish you'd told me" "Levi. I came home yesterday. I told myself I wasn't going to tell you anything because I can't..." Eren waved towards his head with his free hand "... ok. I need to keep things together for a Viren. But he's all I've thought about. I'm tired. I want to thinks things out and just the thought of this going to trial makes me want to jump off the balcony or take the nearest knife and... Can you imagine Viren's life if he gets caught up in it? The son of a psychopath. The grandson of Grisha and the nephew of Zeke. What a great family line that is. I thought we could leave it behind..." Bouncing Viren on his hip, Eren kissed his son's forehead "For his sake, he can't know. I don't want him to know. About Karanes. About the institute. About the pup. Everything has to be ok in front of him" "I'll see if..." "If Hanji can take Viren? We can't ship him off all the time. It's not fair on him" "We need to talk to Floch about all of this. I wasn't shipping him off, I was going to ask if she could watch him for a few hours while we did. There has to be a way that this can proceed without your statement, or a way to keep you off the stand" "The only other person I knew who survived, then tried to kill all of us" Placing Viren down, Eren shook his head "I can't. Ok. I read my statement. I read it and realised how much I didn't remember when I gave. When I close my eyes, I can remember that place. I was there for three month, nearly 4 years ago and I remember it. I don't know what to do. I stayed up all night and I don't know what to do. I don't even remember what happened or how I ended up in my room" Floch was a fucking arsehole. Of all the time he could have shown up, he'd chosen while he wasn't even home. Floch knew that everything relating to Eren had to go through him. It was Eren's request. If he knew he couldn't handle it, he asked Levi to step in as his alpha and his "owner" as too much of society saw it "I'll talk to Floch. You do what you feel you need to do" "I don't think either of us want that. I just need you to not touch me, or knock on the door" Then this morning's bath was the last thing he needed. Shitty Floch. And shitty Eren for not telling him the previous night. He would have handled everything differently if he'd known any of this "I'm sorry about this morning. I wanted you to know I love and want you" "This morning wasn't good" "I know that now... but, Eren, you're not repulsive. You're my mate. My lover, and my pride and joy" Shaking his head sadly, Eren stepped towards his room. Eren taking his cloud of gloom with him "I don't feel that great. Let me know when you're going to work" * Calling Floch, the man arrived a little after 3. It'd taken the better part of an hour to get Viren sleeping, and no time for him to figure out what to do. Letting himself into Eren's room, his mate was sitting on his bed. Sitting just shy of him, Levi went to place his hand on Eren's knee before stopping himself. Letting his hand drop to the blanket instead. None of this was fair, especially with how broken Eren looked over all of this "Eren, Floch's here" "I don't want to talk to him" "I know. And I know you don't want to testify, but you should still be part of this" "Why?" "Because this is your choice, and I want to back you up however I can" "Levi..." "I think you should listen to what Floch has to say" "And then what? He asks me questions, asks me who I can identify? And then?" "We'll talk about what he knows, and why this is coming up now. There has to be a reason" "Where's Viren?" "He sleeping. He didn't want to sleep" "I... I don't have a choice do I?" "You always have a choice, and all you can do is make the choice that you'll least regret. I know your need to know and understand everything going on" "Sometimes I really hate me" "I don't. You're a shit, and a brat, and frustrating as hell, but I don't hate you" Eren gave him a sigh "I'll be there..." "I should hope so. You're the one who organised this" Floch was sitting at the dining table, where he'd left him. Letting Eren take the other seat, he stood behind his mate. Making sure Floch knew he wasn't impressed at all "What is all of this shit?" "I can't say I've missed your bluntness" "Then don't. Eren isn't testifing" "He has to. He'll be charged with perverting the course of justice if he doesn't" "Not happening" "Look. If I could keep him off the stand, I would. I did try to notify you when thing began moving forward. My calls went unanswered" "I didn't have any missed calls" "Then have you changed your number? I know you were supposed to be handling everything to do with this on Eren's behalf. We would have preferred that you took the stand, instead of him, but it's his testimony is what is being questioned. We've contacted Erwin Smith..." Erwin? Eren looked up to him, equally bewildered "You contacted Erwin? When?" "November I believe, when I was unable to contact you" He was going to knock those slug brows of the blonde bastards face "Eren. I didn't know" "I can see that..." Funnily enough, Eren's voice sounded exactly like Floch "I was talking to my mate. Eren will not be testifying" "Unless you can give one good reason as to why I can't call him as a witness, he will be there at the start of the trial" "He's pregnant" "Pregnant people give testimony everyday" "I have two emergency department attendings, an OBGYN, a therapist and four paramedics that will all testify that he is not fit to take the stand" "All of which are close personal friends of yours" "Then I will take him to third party. He is not fit to take the stand" "Pregnancy is..." "It's a high risk pregnancy that is already causing secondary health issues" "It still isn't enough" "That's a load of shit! Grow some fucking testicles" Floch's eyes narrowed, his teeth bared in anger, Levi growling. There was no way he was going to let this shit of an alpha intimidate him or Eren "You know how hard I worked to put all of them away. It nearly cost me my life" "And testifying could cost Eren his. And the lives of our two pups!" "What happens when they walk? A lot of dangerous people were..." "I don't care about them. I care about my mate, and my children" "The one survivor we've been able to contact. Every other omega is in the wind. The fallout from this lead to Reiner coming after you" "Reiner came after us because he was insane with grief" "The trial begins on the 21st. Their lawyers already want access to Eren" "That's not happening" "If he doesn't comply, their going to pull everything apart" "And if he does, they'll go after him!" "At least we can be prepared for that" "Levi, can you back off a little. Both of you stink" Levi took half a step back, but kept his hands on the top of the dining chair, dropping his head, he shook it as he took a deep breath "Sorry. Look. Floch. This isn't going to happen. I refuse to let Eren testify, and for that matter, why was Erwin on your call list? What has he got to do with any of this?" "He was the one who figured out Eren's note, and Eren's message the second time... He'll be testifying over that" "He didn't tell me that" "That is between you and him. You won't be called because your Eren's mate and legal guardian. I doubt they'll allow Erwin to testify to much more than confirming that the note is indeed the one in evidence. And how he recognised the code Eren left. He will also be testifying over Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Hoover. In particular the time you spent working with Bertholdt" Eren rose from his seat, dashing to the kitchen sink. Floch unamused as Eren vomited "Look. There was a list of potential witnesses provided and he was just the one chosen. What I need today is for Eren to look at these photos" Eren shook his head. One hand on his stomach, as did. It was stupid to believe he could ever get through to someone as closed minded as Floch was. The alpha saw himself as some defender of justice, and didn't care who was caught in the fall out "He was released from hospital yesterday. You can't push all of this on him" "Like I said. I did try to make initial contact in November" "Then you should have tried harder. You know where I work. Fuck. I know for a fact I've seen you dragging your mangy arse through the Emergency Department. No. You waited until you were sure Eren was alone before making your move. He is not some naive or weak omega. He is not a pawn in your game, and you will not be using him for your own agenda" "Then I'll be taking him into custody" Levi growled, lifting the dining chair he hurled it across the room, where it hit the far side, smashing the back as it fell to the floor "Get the fuck out of our apartment" Whimpering, Eren covered his ears as he sank to his knees. Eren had told him he couldn't handle touches, or knocking. Now he'd smashed a chair, and let his anger flare "Levi..." "Don't "Levi" me. You show up and dumped all this shit on us. I told you I would take Eren to any doctor you asked, where he'll be given the exact same diagnosis. Eren told you he doesn't want to testify, or to be a part of this. You got them behind bars without his testimony the first time, and you keep them in there this time. He is not a scapegoat for you" "If he's not going to testify, what is to say he isn't a flight risk" "He can't fly like this. He's pregnant and he needs to be near a hospital given the potential complications. Are you deaf? Are your ears filled with the shit you dribble? Desperation isn't a good look on you" Rising from their only remaining dining chair, Flock left a file laying there "This trial will be going ahead. I came here today, simply to have Eren look at a handful of photographs. Your open hostility caused this. If he's released, it will be the start of more to come. They know Eren's alive and they won't stop until all traces of his existence is extinguished. When you've calmed, look at those photos. We'll be in touch" Following Floch to the door, he glared until the man let himself out. As the door closed too slowly for his liking, Levi booted it as hard as he could, before remembering Eren was mid-breakdown. Locking the door, he walked back to the dining table, stopping short of the kitchen "Eren?" "I have to testify..." "Look. We have to meet with a specialist over the SCT. I'm sure they can recommend that you don't" "And then what, Levi. They kill us in front of Viren? They take him? He ends up... spread across the world?" "I won't let that happen" "They're powerful people. You know that" Hissing, Eren sank back so he was sitting on his arse, rather than remaining kneeling "Are you in pain?" "A little..." "Can I... I mean... will you let me move you off the floor?" Eren looked up with guilty eyes, Levi having to backtrack "It's ok. I just thought you might like a hand up" "It's not ok. It's been four years. I shouldn't still feel them on my skin. I shouldn't be scared of you. I shouldn't be this useless" "You're not useless. I'm sick of hearing you run yourself down. You came off your meds, you lost a pup, your alpha was an arsehole and you gave up on your dream of getting married. Then, when things start to look up, when you finally start to feel better, you find you have an infection and our pup is a little sick. Then that piece of shit shows up sprouting all sorts of shit. You're more than entitled to not be ok, and to lean on me" "I don't want to lean on you! All I do is lean on you! You have your own life. You have a right to go out drinking with your friends, or to relax and have fun without worrying or thinking I've gone and hurt myself, or tried to kill myself again! You put so much pressure on yourself and I fucking hate it! I'm sick of tears! Oh look, something's gone wrong, better breakdown like a loser! I'm sick of it Levi. I'm sick of me. I'm sick of everything going to shit when I'm around. I can't even carry your children right. I hate it. I want you to be happy. I want to give you children. I want to be the one who's there for you, and I'm too fucked up in the head to stand on my own two feet. You weren't there in the hospital. Every fucking thing they said came back to aborting. It didn't matter that I was right. I was just a dumb omega. Floch thinks I'm just as dumb, and with so many people thinking it, doesn't that make it true? I can't look at myself without thinking it's my fault. That I'm chaining you down. You say your happy, but what was the last thing you did purely for yourself? On your own and for yourself? You can't think of anything, can you?" "I quit my job" "For me. Because of this thing inside of me. Because you don't think I can handle Viren" "I quit my job because I was done. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of seeing all the accidents. I'm sick of seeing dead people. I'm sick of the shit hours and not being with you and Viren. I missed his first steps. I missed watching him learn how to ride a bike. So yes. I quit because I wanted to spend more time with you and him. I want to be here, with you. I know your probably disappointed. After all, other than my job, I have nothing. I am nothing Eren. I'm a 40 year old alpha who can't even figure out how to be in a relationship with the man I love" "What do you mean you're nothing?" "I have my job, my obsessive need to clean and my shit sense of humour. What else is there to me?" "You're a good person. You're kind, and soft. You care deeply for others..." "They're not skills. I wanted to be the kind of alpha you wanted to be with. I wanted to make you happy. I wanted you to be proud of me" "I am proud of you. Being your omega fills me with pride" "Then why do we keep having this fight? Why can't you believe in me when I say you're beautiful or amazing, or that I trust you" "Because I'm waiting for the day when you wake up and see that I have nothing to offer you..." Eren's sentence tapered off, his lips forming a silent "oh". Ducking his head, Eren sighed "I can't turn off the things in my head. I can't turn off hearing their voices or feeling them against me. I can't forget the deal that ended up with Zeke dead" "I know you can't" "Then why don't you think I'm dirty?" "Because you did what you thought you had to. You always do what you think you have to, to protect us. I don't know if I can protect you, but I made the choice for myself to try. Like I said, we have that appointment coming up, and we'll have more answers by the end of it. Fuck. I wish you could just get it into your head that I love you. Even when your omegas an arsehole, I love you" "When isn't my omega an arsehole?" "Do you really want me to answer that?" "No. It's having a meltdown as it is..." "Do you want me to call into work?" "No. You should go. After all, I can't exactly march down there and punch Erwin myself" "I already have him a black eye..." "Levi! No. I can't deal with violence right now" "I couldn't help it" "You have more patience than I've ever met, other than Moblit. It wasn't Reiner and Bertholdt that made me sick, but the smell of two angry alpha's. Then you threw the chair" Levi scratched the back of his head, feeling slightly sheepish "And kicked the door" "If you're going to be violent, I'm not going to be able to go near you" "I'm sorry" "Just go take a shower or something. My body has decided I can't move while you're there" It was hard not to take that personally, even if he'd brought it upon himself "And you'll be ok to get off the floor?" "Yeah. I need a minute. Can you check on Viren too? Make sure he's ok?" "I'll check on him" "Thank you..." How he wished he hadn't thrown the chair across the room. Taking Floch's stupid file with him, he stuffed it in his bedside table, before huffing off the bathroom. Fuck, Floch. Fuck, Erwin, and fuck the universe in general. Showering his anger away, Eren had fled from the bathroom. His door locked, Levi didn't even have to bother trying the handle to know that. Dressing in another uniform, he flooded the apartments living area with scent canceller, until he choked on oils clogging up his lungs. Anything to get the stink of trash out the air. Finally checking on Viren, their son was sprawled across his bed, his bear clutched tight to his chest. Why couldn't Floch see that this trial could very well destroy the life of their son? The innocent pup who only deserved the best things in life. Walking over to Viren's bed, he dragged the slipped covers back up to his shoulders, kissing his soft hair with a loving smile. How could his look so much like him, but have the exact same expressions and mannerisms as Eren? If the boy ended up being even a fraction as strong as his mother, Levi was in deep shit... but he really wouldn't have it any other way.

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