#I'll probably disappear for some time to rest and take care of myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

coveredinsweetpea · 7 months

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Do you think Eddie lets his girlfriend hold his dick while he pees? 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

👀 I'm only like 100% sure he does?? I wanted this to be shorter but um I got carried away?? So like 1.4k smut ahead, of the first time you ask Eddie to let you do this and a little bit of how it goes!! 18+ pls OBVI!!

"... oh yeah, mhm, I heard about that…" Eddie hummed along to his neighbors rant about whatever affair they spotted during their daily cigarette break by the window. He lied though, he hadn't heard about it before, and didn't care one bit, but it was the most polite way he could come up with in order to extract himself from the conversation as soon as he could - nod along and wait for an opportunity to mention he left something on the stove.

"... and he had no shame about it, that little rascal …" the neighbor went on. You weren't listening either, but when you squeezed Eddie's ring and pinky finger into your hand and he showed absolutely no signs of taking the hint, you knew it was time to take matters into your own hands.

Nodding along to the rest of the story, you leaned in to grab the groceries bag from Eddie's free hand, hoping the commotion would help speed up the conversation. And it did.

"Ah, you're probably busy" the neighbor said, hands clasped in front of his chest as he prepared to resume his walk, "I'll let you two do your thing, but if you want, I'd love to have you over for a coffee some time"

"Absolutely" Eddie bowed, a huge smile on his face, his enthusiasm most likely rooted in the chance to finally bolt inside. "Maybe during the weekend"

"Sure, of course, let me know. You know how retirement is…"

"Thank you for inviting us" you smiled too and then waved at the man as he said his goodbye and turned to leave.

Eddie barely managed to mumble a poor and hurried "Bye" before forcing the door open. "Fuck!" he cried, throwing his jacket on the floor, the keys on the counter and then rushed further into the trailer.

"Eddie, wait!" you dropped the bags and sprinted after him, barely managing to grab a handful of his shirt as he stepped inside the bathroom, "Eddie, I-"

"Just a second, sweetheart!" he cringed, peeling your hand off his shirt. He kissed your knuckles though and sent you an apologetic smile before disappearing behind the bathroom door.

With a deep frown and a disheartened pout, you stomped your way to where you had dropped the bags earlier, fished out one of the chocolate bars, and plopped down on the couch.

Despite furiously munching at it, you weren't even halfway done with the desert by the time Eddie walked out of the bathroom.

"Ah, fuck!" he stretched, walking over to you, "Sorry about that, I thought I was gonna piss myself for a second there. What did you wanna tell me, love?"

"Nothing" you spat and sank your teeth into the chocolate.

"Sweetheart?" his tone softened, "Is everything alright?"

"Yes"

"Can you look at me?"

"No"

He knew what this was - didn't know what it was about, but knew you well enough to be able to tell you got upset over something trivial. Whenever it was something serious, so were you, starting a conversation with him and being mature and reasonable about it. However, the less serious the matter was, the more dramatic you got. So he knew there was space to tease you. "Puppy, come on, look at me, my angel" Eddie parted your legs and kneeled between them on the floor. He grabbed your hips in his hands and leaned down to get himself in your field of view. "Sweetheart?"

"You don't love me anymore" you huffed and raised your chin. You faced the kitchen, still frowning, and refused to look at him.

"Why would you say that, baby?" Eddie pushed himself up to sit beside you. When you still refused to engage, he grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him. "Tell me what made you upset, you know I make everything better."

"You slammed the door in my face" you exaggerated, knowing damn well he didn't even fully close the door. He always did though, and you were fully aware the only reason he didn't properly shut it was because you had been still standing there. But you were upset, and that was good enough of a reason to push his buttons.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to" he played along, "Forgive me, sweetheart, I'll make it up to you. But right now, please tell me what you wanted to say earlier"

"I don't want to anymore"

"Please? If you tell me, I promise I'll do absolutely anything you want"

You raised an eyebrow. "Anything?"

"Anything!" Eddie energetically shook his head. "I promise"

"Will you let me hold your dick while you pee?"

For a second, all he was able to do was blink. "Hold my what?" he did a double take.

"Your dick, Eddie. Please" you pouted, completely unbothered by the absolute shock on his face.

It took him a second to gather himself, "And then you'll tell me?"

"This is it. This is what I wanted to ask you but you ran and then locked yourself in the bathroom"

Realization hit him like a rock and as soon as the thought settled and the information got processed, he visibly relaxed. He swung one arm around your shoulders and leaned for a kiss. "I'm sorry, baby" he spoke against your lips, "Of course you can do that. I promise, I'll let you know next time I have to go"

"Really? You don't think it's weird?"

"No, it's definitely weird" he shook his head, "But when has that ever stopped us before?"

"Ok, thank you" you giggled, suddenly nervous enough to make you hide your face into his shoulder, but not nervous enough to remain there for long, as another idea popped up in your head.

Curiously, Eddie watched you stand and hurry to the kitchen, only to burst into laughter when you returned to him with a bottle of beer in your hand. "To speed up the process" you said.

"How long until you're done with that?" Eddie popped up in the reflection of your mirror, peeking over your shoulder at the makeup you just put on.

"I think I'm done?" you frowned and turned to face him, "Why?"

"We didn't take into consideration the fact that I drank today at lunch. I can't drive us to the movies, so we'd better get going if we want to make it there on time"

"Ok, right. Yeah, I'm done here anyway, let's go" You didn't pay too much attention, just walked past him and into the hallway, making a beeline for your shoes. "What?" you questioned when Eddie grabbed your boot from your hand and then dragged you back deeper into the trailer.

"Promised you'd help me piss"

"Oh!" you exclaimed, "Yes, yes, yes! Please, let me, let me!"

"Of course, princess," Eddie laughed, guiding you into the bathroom. He undid the belt himself and hooked his thumbs around the waistband of his jeans and then pulled them down his thighs, along with his underwear.

You looked at his cock and then up at him, "Do I just grab and aim?"

"Basically" Eddie chuckled and then wrapped an arm around your shoulders when he saw you hesitate. "Don't be nervous, you literally touched my dick thousands of times before"

"Yeah, but what if I miss?"

"I don't think you will, but if you do, I'll clean it up, don't worry"

"Ok…" you mumbled but still hesitated.

"Y/n, I don't wanna pressure you or anything. I don't know what's wrong with me right now, but there's a sliiiiiight possibility that I'm gonna get real hard, real soon if you keep staring at my dick with that look on your face, so-"

"Oh, no, yeah!! Sorry!" you giggled and went straight for it. As gently as you could, probably the most carefully you had ever been with his dick, you grabbed it into your hand, angled it however your brain figured appropriate and then looked at Eddie, "Is this ok?"

"Perfect, fuck. Ok" he hissed and then let himself go.

You didn't know what exactly you were expecting, but excitement took over your body when you saw the stream coming out of his tip, a huge dumb smile on your face as you refused to look away.

Nervous all of a sudden, Eddie raised your hand a little so the stream would hit the toilet bowl and not the water - the sound was making his cheeks burn, why was he like this? Why was he hot all of a sudden?

"Can I spell my name?"

"Technically yeah-" Eddie laughed in disbelief, "But next time? I'm almost done right now"

"Can you do it?"

"Sure"

"Can I watch?"

"You're insane" he shook his head, amused - and in awe, kissing your temple as the last droplets of piss left his tip. "But of course you can"

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie x reader #p1ss k1nk #????#i think???#is this even considered p1ss k1nk?? dunno #eddie munson

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sunshine-scented · 1 year

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Hehe Hello hello Can i request Wukong, Macaque and Mk ( platonic on Mk one, because Wanna make Reader being a mother to him )

A goddess Reader that's well Tf so gorgeous so handsome they can cook they can do anything so basically How they Thought and say like " Hm? Oh reader yeah i know him they blablabla " On reader just wanna seee i might love this one

Olso have a great day luv your Work And take a rest and drink a lot of water

- ✨ Yuzex ✨

Cute~ I've definitely heard about these type of concepts before, I'm glad I get to make one of them!

❀ Tell me more, don't be shy ❀

: Them talking about their s/o when asked, voice lines hc!

: Sun Wukong, Macaque, MK(platonic) x reader

: Fluff!!

Sun Wukong

About (Name); showing off

"You've met (Name) already? I mean, that's great and all but I was the first one to meet them so hah! What do you mean that it doesn't matter? Uh, duh? It's (Name)?? The best person you will ever meet in your entire life until you die???? Keep up bud"

About (Name); hidden secret

"Wh...what are you doing touching me like that? Huh? (Name) told you I liked scratches on my fur? Wha— ughhh, I told them to keep it a secrettt...whatever, you're not allowed to touch me, only (Name) is allowed in that, hmph"

About (Name); Adoring

"If there's one thing I absolute adore about (Name) that isn't them existing, it's them in general. No really, I mean it. I love how they make me feel better by just talking to me about the weather, I love how easy it is to be myself with them. I just love them so much you know? It's hard to explain but basically, if they were to disappear in this world, then I would flatten mountains, empty oceans, and flip the world upside down until I get them back into my arms."

About (Name); Facts

"Did you know (Name) liked that color in their shirts? I always see them wear those kind of clothes with that style. Oh! Those birds over there yeah? They think they're cute and often stare at them when they're zoning out. And that one over there? That's their favorite place to eat. Also— MPHH?! Ack- why did you cover my mouth all of the sudden?! Yeesh, have some respect, anyways, did you know that (Name) really liked those kind of shoes—"

Six eared Macaque

About (Name); first impressions

"To be completely honest, I didn't think I'd like them as much as I do now. I thought that they were just some ordinary being not worth my time, yet when they talked to me over and over again, suddenly, I felt rather...lonely whenever they're gone. Heh, how annoying of them♡"

About (Name); soft spots

"...You won't leave me alone until I tell you more about (Name) huh? You're lucky I like talking about them so much. However, if I did try talking about them more we'd be here until I decide to stop holding grudges..Huh? I'm going soft? You seriously just realized?"

About (Name); voice

"(Name) once told me that they found my voice soothing to listen to. I'll admit, it took me by surprise the first time they mentioned it, yet that boldness they showed at that moment was attractive of them. Telling me something I never knew people liked about me? And told by the one person you'd kill a whole nation for? Sends shivers down my spine"

About (Name); Sleep

"Knowing me, I never got a lot of sleep. And even if I did it's probably somewhere about 4 hours and then boom, a nightmare to haunt my life until I die. Twice. As cliche as it sounds, I sleep better when (Name) is with me. Something about their arms sharing their warmth into mine never fails to lull me to sleep. Perhaps it's also the fact that they sometimes hum small melodies or run their hands onto my hair to sooth me from whatever's on my mind. It's now mandatory that they stay with me everytime I'm going to sleep, hopefully they don't mind~"

About (Name); excitement

"Huh?! You know about (Name)?!?! That's so cool! (Name)'s so cool!!!! They're so nice and caring and amazing and caring and nice and caring you know? I want to grow up to be just as nice and caring and amazing and caring and caring and nice as them!"

About (Name); injuries

"Look! I'm a mummy! Hehehe I'm not actually one, it's just that I got into this hugee battle with a demon and the aftermath got me all these scars and bruises. (Name) was not happy, gosh, the look on their face when they wrapped bandages on my body while they gave me a whole hour long lecture was so..*shiver* remind me to take better care of myself please"

About (Name); snacks

"My bag is a little bit heavier than usual, maybe it's because of the multiple snacks (Name) keeps inside it. I mean, I'm not complaining, I like the snacks they give me. But a hero's gotta have agility too you know! How am I gonna heroically jump on buildings and beat demons with a heavy bag of super delicious extremely amazing and over the top golden snacks that (Name) gives me?"

About (Name); Lessons

"I think (Name) saw how stressed I am with this whole hero thing, first it was DBK, then spider queen, LDB and now this Asare Leon guy or whatever his name was. It's like I can't keep anything from them. Yet, they still treated me gently and talked to me about how everything happens for a reason, I'm living this life because I'm strong enough to live it. Honestly, I'm glad they told me this, if it weren't for them, I would have been eaten alive by some stinky demon, ewww"

I'm trying so hard not to make another Nezha fic it's literally mental torture

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1-read-the-hobbit-in-1937 · 19 days

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Period Emergencies:

Warnings: None, pure fluff. Mentions of periods.

Authors note: No decription of readers body or anything other than reader having a period. no use of y/n or female character so this can be read as a gender neutral reader. This is written in first person using I,me,mine,my pro nouns.

English is not my first language so I apologise for any grammar mistakes etc.

W.C- 508 (yea... sorry this is really short)

Parings- CEO!Bucky Barnes x gn!reader

After spending hours of moaning and groaning restlessly in bed, I finally decided to go to the kitchen and get some ibuprofen. But upon getting out of bed, I fell to the ground with a large thud. “Uhhh” I groaned in pain.

“Baby, are you okay?” Bucky asked with a concerned tone in his voice.

“All good babe, just got my period.” I announced to him as I saw him come out of his office and enter our shared bedroom.

“Oh, okay. I'll be home in about 10 minutes, just stay in bed until then.” He responded, “Wait, weren't you in a meeting?” I questioned,

“Yes, and? I run the business, I can decide to leave if I want.” Bucky calmly replied. “Can you at least get me some ibuprofen?”

“Top draw of your bedside table.” He replied, disappearing from the door frame. And within seconds I heard the door shut behind him as his car pulled out of the driveway.

Turning to my bedside table, I opened the draw and sure enough there was a pack of ibuprofen laying amongst my other period care items. After taking a tablet I decided to hop in the shower and clean myself up a bit before Bucky gets home. As I turned off the running shower, I heard a knock on the bedroom door, “Come in!” I yelled to the visitor even though I knew it could only be my husband.

“Hey baby, are you feeling any better?” He asked sincerely. “No, still feel like shit” I sighed.

“Well, I got you some of your favourite snacks and some tampons and all that, we can watch a movie and just chill if you like. However I do have to run into the office quickly.” Bucky responded. “Yes! Let's do that. Why do you have to run in? Don't you work from home on Fridays?” I asked disappointed. “Yeah, I do. But some new employee almost shot himself ‘cause he didn't know how the fucking gun worked. So I gotta go sort that out, probably fire him or place him in an office job.” He laughed off.

“Oh, okay. I guess I'll see you later then"

"Bye doll, I love you” Bucky said as he brought me into his warm embrace.

“Mmmhh” I hummed, breathing in his sweet and all too familiar scent of cinnamon and peppermint mixed with his expensive cologne.

I decided to pass some time, snacking and watching tiktoks until my husband returned. And after a couple of hours, he did. I set up the bed for him while he got changed into sweats and a hoodie before crawling into bed beside me. “What do you wanna watch, doll?”

“How about, my all time favourite movie, Because I want a little cry today. How does the Notebook sound?” I asked sweetly knowing that Bucky hated watching it because he always had to hide that he was crying.

The rest of the night was spent watch multiple movies, snacking on tv snacks and pringles and cuddling with my Bucky.

Yeah, ummm. Well this was really shitty, but I hope u enjoyed that 😅

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baki-tiene-un-simp · 10 months

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Hey, I know that i've already asked agood amount of hc but could you please make an hc for retsu, musashi, mumon, sukune and jun with an S/O that was almost killed by someone like their enemy or something (like a very graphic and bloody injuries that are basically exposing the bone or the whole body is basically fully bruised) but they get to the hospital and they are in a coma and they wake up after 3 to 6 months or so moments before their S/O is umpluged from the life support and everyone thought that they were basically dead.I would like to know about their thoughts, feelings and plans after they thought they were going to lose their S/O and their plans for the future, also what they would do the person and how would they react to their S/O coming back and some aftermate.

Thanks for having the patience to deal with so many asks.

Heres a kiss for my FWACCOF(Favorite Writer And Content Creator Of Tumblr)

P.S.(I know that this kind of reads "fuck off" but I liked the acronym so I'll let it stay)

Hope you have a nice second/minute/hour/day/week/month/year/life/eternety.

Situation: Baki's men's train of thought when an enemy attacks their S/O. / Tren de pensamiento de los hombres de Baki cuando un enemigo ataca a su S/O.

Characters: Jun Guevaru, Musashi Miyamoto, Mumon Katsuragi and Retsu Kaioh.

Jun Guevaru.

"These months have been exhausting without them, so stressful how everyone seems to go on with their lives while I feel lost because they didn't react, but they have finally come to their senses. They have opened their eyes and looked at me after so long, I really missed those beautiful eyes.

Who could even think of hurting you, mi amor? What kind of monster could hurt you, mi ángel?

I must make sure that your house is protected so that this incident does not happen again. A couple of my men could regularly hang around there just to keep the perimeter clear, I'll be with them anyway so I can protect them. Oh how I've missed you…"

Musashi Miyamoto.

"It's ridiculous to take it out on someone who can't defend themselves, what logic is there in attacking others when the target is me? The discomfort in my chest hasn't disappeared since they were attacked a couple of months ago, now that they woke up I felt less… Uncomfortable, but that feeling is still there.

Is it some kind of desire for revenge? Revenge doesn't taste so bitter, besides, I'm satisfied when I use my katanas on the offender. I don't understand what happens.

I don't understand how they are still here either, their slow breathing and their lack of mobility during these months only gave me an image of what I thought was the future, I don't know how they managed to come back to life, but I will stay with them until they can explain it to me…"

Mumon Katsuragi.

"They opened their eyes, heaven has finally heard my pleas, maybe God got tired of hearing me cry at night to get them back to me. I stopped myself, I wanted to jump on them and kiss them as if I hadn't seen them in years, but I I held back; her condition is delicate and I must be careful.

The doctors haven't stopped talking about her treatment and diet from now on, that old cookbook I found at her house should help me a bit. They probably don't mind me staying at their apartment, I spend most of my time there and they need help right now.

I have to go home before them, I have to clean and change the sheets so they can rest as soon as they get out of the hospital, maybe they want to eat something after a long time? Probably, I'll take care of bringing today's dinner so that I can regain my strength after all these months…"

Retsu Kaioh.

"They are fine, they are fine, they have finally woken up and just in time, just when I lost hope of one day being able to see their eyes looking at me once more. If only I had been by their side when they needed me most, maybe if would have paid more attention to their surroundings they would not be here, they would not have suffered as they did.

The wounds have healed, but they need therapy and periodic checkups to make sure they are better. Maybe I should ask them to move in with me so that I can take care of them properly during all the remaining time of recovery and therapies, that would also allow me to be around for them when they need to do something and their injuries do not allow it.

A good diet is also vital, it could supply the pantry with foods rich in vitamins and nutrients, meat and fish, reduce sugar and bad substances for a period of time. The tea is medicinal, surely they will manage to calm your discomfort and help you sleep. I should take out the inflatable bed and offer them my bed, the important thing is that they are comfortable and rested…"

Versión en español.

Jun Guevaru.

"Estos meses han sido agotadores sin ti, tan estresante como todos parecen seguir sus vidas mientras yo me siento perdido porque tu no reaccionas, pero finalmente has vuelto. Al fin abriste los ojos y me miraste después de tanto tiempo, realmente extrañaba esos hermosos ojos.

¿Quién podría siquiera pensar en hacerte daño, mi amor? ¿Qué clase de monstruo podría lastimarte a ti, mi ángel?

Debo asegurarme de que tu casa esté protegida para que este incidente no se repita. Un par de mis hombres podrían pasearse regularmente por allí solo para mantener el perímetro libre, de todas formas estaré junto a ti, así que puedo protegerte. Oh, como te he extrañado…"

Musashi Miyamoto.

"Es ridículo desquitarse con quien no puede defenderse, ¿Qué lógica existe en atacar a otros cuando el objetivo soy yo? La incomodidad en mi pecho no ha desaparecido desde que fue atacado hace un par de meses, ahora que despertó me he sentido menos… Incómodo, pero ese sentimiento sigue allí.

¿Será alguna clase de deseo de venganza? La venganza no tiene este sabor tan amargo, además, quede satisfecho cuando use mis catanas en el causante. No entiendo que sucede.

Tampoco entiendo como sigue aquí, sus lentas respiraciones y su falta de movilidad durante estos meses solo me dieron una imagen de lo que creía era el futuro, no sé cómo logro regresar a la vida, pero me quedaré a su lado hasta que pueda explicármelo…"

Mumon Katsuragi.

"Abrió los ojos, el cielo al fin ha escuchado mis súplicas, quizá Dios se cansó de escucharme llorar por las noches para que me lo devuelvan. Me contuve, quise saltar sobre el y besarles como si no le hubiera visto en años, pero me contuve; su estado es delicado y debo tener cuidado.

Los doctores no han parado de hablar sobre el tratamiento y la dieta que debe seguir de ahora en adelante, ese viejo libro de cocina que encontré en su casa debería ayudarme un poco. Probablemente no le moleste que me quede en su apartamento, paso la mayor parte del tiempo allí y necesita ayuda justo ahora.

Debo volver a casa antes, debo limpiar y cambiar las sábanas para que puedan descansar tan pronto salga del hospital, ¿quizá quiera comer algo después de mucho tiempo? Es probable, me encargaré de traer la cena de hoy para que pueda reponer fuerzas después de todos estos meses…"

Retsu Kaioh.

"Está bien, se encuentra bien, al fin ha despertado y justo a tiempo, justo cuando perdí la esperanza de algún día poder ver sus ojos mirándome una vez más. Si tan solo hubiese estado a su lado cuando más me necesitaba, quizá si hubiera puesto más atención a su alrededor no estaría aquí, no hubiera sufrido como lo hizo.

Las heridas han sanado, pero necesitan terapia y revisiones periódicas para verificar que están mejor. Quizá deba pedirle que se muden conmigo para que pueda cuidarles debidamente durante todo el tiempo restante de recuperación y terapias, eso también me permitiría estar cerca cuando necesite hacer algo y sus heridas no se lo permitan.

Una buena dieta también es vital, podría abastecer la despensa con alimentos ricos en vitaminas y nutrientes, carnes y pescados, disminuir los azúcares y sustancias malas durante un periodo de tiempo. El té es medicinal, seguro que lograran calmar sus molestias y les ayudaran a dormir. Debería sacar la cama inflable y ofrecerle mi cama, lo importante es que esté cómodo y descansado…"

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i-am-just-a-skeleton · 3 months

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i don't talk much about mental health stuff on here but y'know we're having a bit of a moment and i think it's best to get it out of the system so. i guess this is a vent post, fair warning if you do read any of it i will be talking rather extensively about my experiences with depression

anyway i really don't feel like. i mean, there are times i can convince myself that i probably don't actually have depression, like, i feel fine. most of the time, i think. but then there are times like the last few weeks, where i just get. sad, and lonely, and tired, and there doesn't seem to be any reason i should be but it's there anyway. and there are times i convince myself that even that's normal, i mean, it's not like i've ever actually tried to kill myself, right? i spent almost all of secondary school wishing i would just disappear like i'd never existed at all, i wanted to die, but i never did anything did i? i hardly even self harmed, i mean, i can remember, what, once? but like. it doesn't take much reflection to realise that it's not normal for a fucking child to be crying in a corner thinking it would be better for everyone if they were gone and planning to just stay there until they died, thinking or hoping that no one would even notice. but i have so many memories of that exact thing. from so far back. and in a lot of ways i think. i feel like my life was good, too good to justify my ever feeling like that. but god i was so fucking lonely as a child. i can count on one had the number of friends i had in all of primary school and. it's not like i was ever really alone, but it was always sort of, there was the group, and there was one or two members of the group i was friends with. and they all had other friends, but i didn't. i was just. hanging around the edges. until, i think about year 8, because my best friend (that was only the second person i'd ever thought of as my best friend. the first was in year 2-3 ish but he moved away and i never saw him again) had moved and there were. a lot of other things as well, my parents getting divorced, the very first hints of my first gender crisis, i'd just gotten diagnosed with autism and barely fucking knew what that meant but i did realise on some level that there was something wrong with me (which included registering the depression since i finally knew that was a thing. but at that point i'd been dealing with it for so long that it hardly felt like a serious problem).

but anyway, that was the first year i was really, really alone. i had no friends whatsoever for nearly all of that year and i was a mess. i honestly barely have any memories of it but there are several of crying at school which i. do not fucking do. because i. don't really cry anymore, i hardly can even if i want to. i did make new friends in the years after that, but still, the ones i was friends with then i don't really talk to now. and i do have friends now. but i still have that feeling, even though i'm more part of the group now, i have five or six frineds instead of one or two, i feel like i'm just hanging onto the edges, they're all better friends with eachother than any of them are with me, and. and the person who's been my best friend for the past two years is gone and i might never see them again and i'm afraid that even if i do they might. we both might be so different that we don't fit together anymore. i haven't seen them in months i don't even know if they're okay. i feel like i'm getting farther away from the rest of the group and i don't know what i'll do if i lose them too. i feel like i don't hardly mmatter to any of them, i barely speak when we're all together and so much of it feels like i'm trying too hard and i just. i feel like i don't care enough about people because if i did i would put in more effort to be a better friend i would put up more of a fight when i felt myself drifting away from the people i love but. but i don't. every single time i just let it happen and don't do a single fucking thing about it and then they forget me. and it probably is better that way because i was never a very good friend to anyone was i. i'm so scared that i'm never going to be able to live on my own but i know i'll never find anyone who wants to stay with me long enough or be close enough to me to live with me. no one cares and no one is going to care about me enough for that and that's fucking fine. i don't do a single fucking thing to deserve it anyway

anyway i don't have a nice neat way to wrap this up and i don't fucking care anyway because no one's going to read this far in the first place so

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atinyjules · 9 months

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OPPOSITES ATTRACT FT. PARK JISUNG - ch 3

The mini masterlist for this series can be found here

Warning: strong language, rivalry, mentions of bullying, fighting, violence, suicidal thoughts etc.

!Tw!

Lia's

"What about the rest though? Who are we gonna get partnered up with?" I asked Sanha who could only sigh.

"Honestly...I have no idea. Madam Cha hasn't informed me about that yet...but we really need to focus now...no more distractions." he said making us nod as Haeri huffed.

"I don't know why I had to be partnered up with that bastard for both the ball and the competition..." Haeri said as her brother Hyunsuk patted her head.

"Don't worry...just focus on your part and if he doesn't cooperate then tell me and I'll knock some sense into him." Hyunsuk said making her whine.

"You don't get it! He's just...his whole vibe is horrible!" Haeri whined as Sua shushed her.

"Quit whining, you're not the only one with a shitty partner." she said as the rest agreed.

"If we don't want to be paired up with the ones we dislike for the ball we might as well just behave." Sanha said making Yuki scoff.

"Behave? They're clearly the ones who are trying to get on our nerves..." Yuki says with a sigh as she plopped on the couch next to Sua.

"Where's Sungchan?" Haeri said making everyone come to the realisation that he hasn't been seen since morning.

"Is he unwell?" Sanha said as I shook my head.

"I saw his bike parked at his usual spot." I said as Hyunsuk nodded.

"I swore I saw him at first period...where'd he disappear?" Hyunsuk thought as Sua waved off our worries.

"He's probably out goofing around somewhere like always." she said making Sanha chuckle.

"Probably." Sanha said and chuckled making me laugh softly at the thought.

Sungchan's

"If you don't want to lose the scholarship you better start behaving cause if you keep causing drama you might lose all future castings and important performances. Because of the ruckus you were a part of...I'm sorry but you've been pulled out of the Ballet competition at Hungary." I nodded and apologized to the Principal as I bowed profusely.

"I'm sorry, I'll be more cautious from now on." I apologized as she nodded and dismissed me.

"Okay, you may leave." she said as I apologized one last time and exited the Principal's office with my head hung low. I sat on one of the chairs outside the office and rubbed my forehead and let out a sigh as I closed my eyes.

"Back then and now...I still get in trouble because of that rat Park Jisung...why does he keep appearing where ever I go?" I mumbled to myself and stood up, walking towards the parking lot where my bike was. I put on my helmet and drove home, not in the mood to take class today.

"I'll just sent them a text later..." I mumbled as I laid on my bed looking up at the ceiling.

"It's already bad enough that life at home is crumbling and now this...." I mumbled and tried to blink away my tears but failed.

I gave up and let the stray tears fall from my eyes and let out a shaky breath when a ding from my phone caught my attention. I opened my phone only to shut my eyes tightly to avoid myself from crying more as I looked at my messages.

Lia💖

I saw you leave

Lia💖

I hope you're okay.

Lia💖

Take care of yourself, call me if you need me (´ ▽｀)

Lia💖

Don't worry, I'll take notes (´∀｀)

"You make it harder for me to leave this wretched world..." I whispered and wiped my tears as I let out a sob.

Lia's

"Lia and...Jisung...alright Lianna and Jisung, Seeun and Hyejin, Hyunsuk and Yuri, Minjae and Yuki, Sungchan and Hana, Sanha and Seunghee, Seunghan and Sua and finally Hyeonjun and Haeri. And that my students is the final arrangement for the ball." Madam Choi said as we nodded.

"Where's Sungchan though? He hasn't come to school for over a week now." Madam Choi said making me nod.

"He's probably unwell..." I said when I felt Jisung's eyes on me.

"Oh...alright." Madam Choi said as she turned to look at the papers.

"So...Neo..." I trailed and looked at Jisung who nodded.

"Yeah...and Seuli...nice...it suits you." he said making smile as I looked at my hands. I sighed internally at how dry the conversation was.

"Are you...fine with Waltz?" I said in hopes of getting the conversation to flow smoothly.

"I guess..but classical music isn't really my style." he said making me nod with an knowing expression.

"You never really liked classical music did you...?" I asked making him chuckle as he nodded.

"Yeah." he said making me frown.

So much for wanting to be friends again

Don't get me wrong...our friendship never broke...maybe it just disappeared since the last time we saw each other was back at middle school.

"Are your friends always so loud?" I asked as I looked at Minjae and Hyeonjun who held Sanha and Hyunsuk by the collar, throwing threats at one another.

"It's annoying at first but the more you get used to it the funnier it gets." he says making me chuckle as I stood up and started stretching since we were going to begin soon.

"Won't you warm up?" I asked Jisung who just shrugged.

"It's not hip hop so there's no need to warm up." he said making me scoff.

"As you wish." I said and continued warming up.

×××

"Jisung, you're too stiff..." Madam Choi said making me chuckle as I told him to loosen up and shake his body.

"Why is this so hard...?" he questioned as I smiled and placed my hands on his shoulders and hand again.

"It get's easier..." I said as we started to dance again with his left hand holding my hand and his right hand wrapped around my waist.

"Haeri and Hyeonjun, if you don't want to stay back for private lessons I say you start cooperating~" Madam Choi said in a sing-song voice making them straighten up and start dancing a little more energetically.

"But ma'am! He stepped on my foot!" Haeri complained as Hyeonjun groaned.

"It's hard okay?! I do hip hop not Waltz!" He whined as Madam Choi shushed them by clapping her hands.

"Now, now...both of you will stay back for an extra 2 hours...Haeri stepping on your partner's foot is a very common mistake for beginners and Hyeonjun try to move in sync with Haeri's movement." Madam Choi said as they whined and eventually started listening to her instructions.

"Lia and Jisung it's a couple dance not an individual number...come on, scoot closer to each other...Jisung secure your hands on her waist properly, Lia scoot a little closer to Jisung." she said as we followed her instructions and moved closer to each other awkwardly.

"Come on, students let's show some chemistry! Seeun and Hyejin very good! Jisung, Hyeonjun elegance...elegance." Madam Choi reminded as Jisung began dancing with a more elegant stance.

<<>>

I let out a content sigh as I laid on the soft surface of my mattress on the rooftop. After a tiring day at school it was an amazing feeling to finally relax and gaze at the stars.

"Hm...we still need to practice for the Winter Solstice group dance competition..." I trailed as I sat up and looked at Sungchan's bedroom window.

Still dark...

I thought to myself and sighed looking at his window which still showed no signs of Sungchan inside.

"He won't answer my calls or texts...what's wrong with him?" I mumbled as I took a small pebble and walked downstairs to my bedroom and opened my window which directly faced Sungchan's.

"Psst...Sungchan!" I whisper shouted and threw the pebble on his window hoping to get his attention...if he was inside that is.

Sungchan's

I jolted awake when I heard a light sound of something hitting my window. I rubbed my eye and got up from the floor where I was asleep a few seconds ago and looked up to see small pebbles hitting my window, because I was still half asleep I opened the window without a thought and groaned when a pebble hit my head.

"Omo...Sungchan! I'm so sorry!" all sleep disappeared from my face the moment I saw Lia infront of me.

"W-What...huh?" I mumbled confused as to why she was by her window and looked at the time.

11 am?!

"Yah...shouldn't you be asleep?!" I whisper shouted as she scoffed.

"And shouldn't you have been in school this week?" she scoffed and climbed out of her window making me panic as I got up and helped her in.

"What's going on? Why don't you come to school anymore? Why didn't you answer my call? My texts?! I sent you hundreds of messages!" she exclaimed making me wince as I looked away and scratched my neck awkwardly.

"I was busy?" I said it in a way which made it sound like a question.

"Sungchan...the truth." she said in a warning tone making me sigh as I put my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes.

"Okay...the truth is I'm depressed and my life is fucked up...mom and dad are filing a divorce...I have no idea who gets custody over me and because of the conflicts we had at school with the students of Neo I might not be able to get the merits scholarship and because of that day I was forced to pull out from participating at the competition at Hungary." I said and let out a shaky breath.

"I'm sick of my life...how do you expect me to be able to come to school after all that?" I said in a broken tone when Lia pulled me in for a hug.

"If you were suffering...why did you stay quiet? You know that me and the others are all here for you, don't you?" she said making me break into a sob as she rubbed my back.

"I'm here now...don't worry. You can tell me everything." she said in a soft tone and caressed my hair.

"I d-didn't want to be a burden." I mumbled as she chuckled.

"We've been best friends since kindergarten, why would you think that?" she said as I pullled her closer to me.

"I just...could you stay here for a while?" I blurted out as she smiled and patted my head.

"Of course I can...my window is right there if you haven't noticed." she said making me chuckle as I cuddled to her side.

Chapter 4

Oml there's more Sungchan x Lia moments that Jisung x Lia-

I promise there will be more Jisung x Lia moments from the next chapter onwards, I swear (๑-﹏-๑) but I hope you liked it anyways!

Reblogs and Likes are appreciated.💗✨

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roobylavender · 2 years

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What are your favourite marchetta quotes, also thank you for introducing me to her, those books are so close to my heart now!

oh gosh i have a lot i highlight so much in her books lmao! i'll try to select my absolute favorites from each:

the lumatere chronicles

[froi] just watched the way finnikin's hands rested on evanjalin's neck and he rubbed his thumb along her jaw and the way his tongue seemed to disappear inside her mouth as if he needed a part of her to breathe himself. and froi wondered what evanjalin was saying against finnikin's lips when they stopped because whatever the words were it made them start all over again and this time their hunger for each other was so frightening to watch that it made froi look away.

the gods whispered to you once, finnikin. and you listened. but they are proud and refuse to speak to those who do not believe that there is something out there mightier than the minds and intellect of mortals.

and there it was, he thought, as he looked at the women in beatriss's kitchen. the memory of a look that spoke to him of power. his. a look that made him want to kneel at the feet of his queen and worship her. because it made him feel like a king.

i fear that i will do something to bring harm to those i love, so i follow their rules to ensure that i won't. but what if you bring harm or fail to protect those you don't know? or don't love? will you care as much? probably not. then choose another bond. one written by yourself. because it is what you do for strangers that counts in the end.

if your people mean no offense, they should not speak their thoughts out loud in front of their children, tesadora. because it will be their children who come to slaughter us one day, all because of the careless words passed down by their elders who meant no harm.

you'll have to forgive my people. they are still grieving their leader. their leader is living. he's standing in front of me, and the only person on this mountain who is not acknowledging him these days is the leader himself. i'll never be as good as him. they know that. we all know that. speak the truth, lucian. what truth? you don't want him here because of the mistakes you think you're making. you want him here because you loved him and he's gone and you can't say those words out loud.

because you may not have seen it, my darling boy, but i hated with a fierceness i can't describe. and do you want to hear something that was breaking my heart, day after day? i forgot the faces of my granddaughters in all that hatred. hatred smothers all beauty.

are you a slave? in serker, only slaves are etched. with the names of the men that own them. i'm a serker, lirah. my body is etched with the names of the three women who own me. my queen. my mother. my woman.

froi saw the foolishness of dreamers, and he decided he'd like to die so foolish. with a dream in his heart about the possibilities, rather than a chain of hopelessness. finnikin had once said it was the only way to live. that he wanted to drown in hope rather than wallow in despair.

saving francesca

take away your job and take away your kids and who are you, robert? your husband. then take away me and who are you? take away you, the kids, and my job? is this a trick question? i'm dead, right?

sometimes when i get home, i convince myself that i'm just romanticizing anyone who's actually spoken to me, but then i see him the next day and my heart starts beating fast and i can't really kid myself. it's not as if he's good-looking, because he's not. sometimes he's so plain that he looks bland. but it's his voice and his mannerisms that fill him with some kind of color. i listen to his voice and its resonance hooks me in. the worry lines on his forehead, his expression when he twists his face into a smile, and the way his whole face lights up when he laughs those short bursts of laughter.

when i was seventeen, i just stopped speaking to my father for two years. i thought he was a peasant, some kind of idiot. i was embarrassed by how simple he was. i was such a bitch. but all i can remember now is his face - his beautiful patient face, waiting for his daughter to start speaking to him again. he never questioned what was going on and he never pushed, and i saw that as a weakness. but he was just waiting.

me's easy. me got on a train and ended up in woy woy. you's difficult. you're planning on puking your way through europe at a time that i thought you were... kind of interested in me. kind of interested in you. i'm kind of interested in calculus and ancient roman warfare. you don't use words like kind of interested to describe how i feel about you.

because breaking up with her was so easy and breaking up with you would be like, i don't even want to think about it. we haven't even started going out together and you're thinking of breaking up. but that's it. when i think of you, i think of future stuff. i think of this is it and i'm not supposed to think this is it at my age. i don't look at you and think nice. i look at you and think, oh my god, i want to hold her and never let her go. i think, sex— right here, right now—

the piper's son

because i miss it like you'd never believe, and then i go away from this place and i miss here too. i'm scared that i'm going to spend the rest of my life in a state of yearning, regardless of where i am.

you looked so serious and grown-up, so meticulous with your drawing and the way you'd explain the process and i'd look at your hands and think, shit, they can do anything. like frankie's will. don't you love the fact that he builds bridges? i mean, who can say that, really?

am i hard work? yes. you could have hesitated in answering that. why? i've never lied to you before. you do that all the time, you know. you ask me questions when you know the answer will piss you off. ask me a question where the answer could be yes? ask me if you're worth the hard work? ask me if in the last seven years of my life i've woken up in a cold swear knowing i lost the most important person in my life apart from this kid i'm holding? ask me if getting you pregnant has felt like the best thing that's happened to me since my son was born? [...] see this. it's all there, georgie. everything i want in the world is all there. am i worth the hard w—? yes. yes.

and i remember thinking that exact moment, i want to change the world with her. and i remember feeling that again in georgie's attic. that's a pretty powerful gift you have there, ms. finke. to make the laziest guy around want to change the world with you.

don't let anyone take care of you. can you maybe leave that for me to do? i mean, take care of you? feel free to take care of me in return... because i think i'll need you to do that.

the place on dalhousie

he clings to her and being this needed feels better than sex. it's when rosie knows she has to leave this place. because she could easily love this guy. it's what rosie does best. she loves broken people who damage her in return.

and she found herself watching it over and over again, just to get to the part where carrie bradshaw compares the loss of the unreliable big, who stands her up at the altar, with the death of a loved one. not even close, carrie. because men who stand you up at the altar get to walk back into your life holding a pair of manolo blahnik shoes. dead ones stay dead.

because rosie is powerless. every day. all day. no money. no job. no means of identifying herself. no way of climbing out of a rut. all she has is the house her father built, and now martha's got real estate agents walking in and out, telling them lies. and it always ends with that unfathomable despair that has chased rosie for years. that she will never see her mother and father again. toto's birth was a godsend and a curse. it brought back the memory of everything she lost.

we don't even have a photo of us dating to show toto one day. everyone else does. just a little glimpse of us together so we can say, "this is who we were before you came along." is that important? my favorite photos of my mum and dad are those from before i was born. because they were so into each other and i can see this love in her eyes that says, i trust this guy to fucking bits.

can you tell whoever you're sleeping with that it's over? why? you're sort of like an id thing. twenty points for usefulness, twenty points for being good in bed, twenty points for being decent, and you get triple bonus points because toto's your top-one-hundred priority. can you shave off points from usefulness and decency and give me extra for being good in bed? it would have to come out of your toto triple-bonus points. thanks, but no thanks. i think i'll hang on to those bonus points.

where did you meet? in a flood. you? here. we played each other's team on the first game of the season and during a toss up, our eyes sort of met. that's pretty romantic. yeah, so's meeting the mother of your child during a catastrophic event.

jellicoe road

my father took one hundred and thirty-two minutes to die. i counted. it happened on the jellicoe road. the prettiest road i’d ever seen, where trees made breezy canopies like a tunnel to shangri-la. we were going to the ocean, hundreds of miles away, because i wanted to see the ocean and my father said that it was about time the four of us made that journey. i remember asking, “what’s the difference between a trip and a journey?” and my father said, “narnie, my love, when we get there, you’ll understand,” and that was the last thing he ever said.

i look around at everyone and i can’t help thinking how normal we look and i don’t think i’ve ever felt normal. i watch raffy as she removes the pickles from her hamburger and hands them over to santangelo without them exchanging a word and i realize again there is more to that relationship than spelling bees and being enemies. these people have history and i crave history. i crave someone knowing me so well that they can tell what i’m thinking.

i remember love. it’s what i have to keep on reminding myself. it’s funny how you can forget everything except people loving you. maybe that’s why humans find it so hard getting over love affairs. it’s not the pain they’re getting over, it’s the love.

what are you thinking? that you deserve romance. let me see. a guy tells me that he would have thrown himself in front of a train if it wasn’t for me and then drives seven hours straight, without whingeing once, on a wild-goose chase in search of my mother with absolutely no clue where to start. he is, in all probability, going to get court-martialled because of me, has put up with my moodiness all day long, and knows exactly what to order me for breakfast. it doesn’t get any more romantic than that, jonah.

what do you want me to say? that if he asked me to marry him, i’d say yes? okay. yes. but grief makes a monster out of us sometimes, taylor, and sometimes you say and do things to the people you love that you can’t forgive yourself for. i’d forgive myself. to be with jonah i’d do anything.

looking for alibrandi

sometimes i’m with my friends and i feel as if i don’t fit in because of you. because you opened me up to this whole new world out there. i don’t want to become a mechanic and work all day long and then at night go to the pub and marry someone just like me and have two children and whine about housing payments and gas prices and the economy. i wanted that last year. no, that’s not true. i thought that’s what life was all about last year. but this year i realized, because of you, that there’s more to life. i still want to be a mechanic, but i want to step outside my circle and look at the other options. i don’t want to do what other people think i’ll end up doing. i don’t want to be stereotyped because of the school i attend or the district i live in. i want all the things in life that john barton gave up because he was scared to step out of his circle. but i have to do that on my own.

you’re going to go on living. because living is the challenge, josie. not dying. dying is so easy. sometimes it only takes ten seconds to die. but living? that can take you eighty years and you do something in that time, whether it’s giving birth to a baby or being a housewife or a barrister or a soldier. you’ve accomplished something. to throw that away at such a young age, to have no hope, is the biggest tragedy.

why don’t people do things they want to do? i’d never let anyone or anything stop me. how the hell do you know that, josie? you haven’t begun to live life. come back to me when you’re forty and tell me that you’ve done everything you’ve wanted to do. when i was seventeen i wanted to be a pilot, but we moved to adelaide and the move depressed me and i forgot everything i had wanted in my life. people change. circumstances change them.

tell the truth shame the devil

i get all the criticism about religion, you know, mr. ortley. but the thing is, you can’t take it away from people and not leave something else of substance. that’s what your generation will remembered for. taking so much away and replacing it with so little of worth.

he hid me between the fissures big enough to fit me. it was to protect me. not leave me behind. my dad wouldn’t have left me behind. it’s what i write in my letters every time i remember something. but the police here never believe me. and bish thought it strange that seventeen-year-old girls who had sex with idiot boys could still cry like babies for their fathers.

all those years ago, a man had tried to protect his child on this rock. etienne lebrac hadn’t come here to die; he’d come to be reminded of beauty in an ugly year. if bish was still a religious man, he would have sworn that the dead were with them in this ancient place. the beautiful dead. and he felt that the three in his arms sensed it too.

and there it was. that slight lisp. that awful accent. that funny face that made him ache. charlie wasn’t just a cheat. he was a liar as well. because violette zidane wasn’t just the girl he was shagging, like he told the cop. she sort of owned his heart a little. kind of a lot.

#melina marchetta #the lumatere chronicles #saving francesca #the piper's son #the place on dalhousie #jellicoe road #looking for alibrandi #tell the truth shame the devil #the lumatere section of this was. so hardjlkgjflhgf. i have those books highlighted everywhere #i generally have all of these books highlighted everywhere her catalogue is quite literally my literary bible #also i am so glad to have introduced you i hope you enjoy her to your heart's content she's so so good truly #outbox

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lumine-no-hikari · 3 months

Text

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #31

I went to Physical Therapy today to get my muscles mashed up. I've had to go to Physical Therapy for a long time now. Maybe I'll explain why later. In any case, though it's a necessary thing to ensure that my skeleton does not rebel further, it's still a painful thing, and I'm still kinda dealing with the aftermath of today's session. That's okay though; I ate a burger to replace any lost iron or protein, I'm staying hydrated, and I've taken some ibuprofen to minimize pain and swelling. I'm very ouchy right now, so it's a little hard to think, but if I get a good night's sleep, I'll probably grow back by tomorrow; it'll be okay, don't you worry!

I'm trying to take it easy for now though; taking it easy is important when you're injured and/or dealing with a chronic condition. I made myself some tea. Today's tea is essenced with some of your favorite scents - roses and vanilla, if that email that Zack got in Crisis Core is to be believed. It smells and tastes amazing, and the warmth of the smooth glass jar I brewed it in feels very good on my hands. I wish I could share these things with you; alas, I cannot. But, I can send along a few pictures to you. Here:

This is the tea I used. Even before it's brewed, the scent is absolutely tantalizing.

Here's what it looks like when it's brewed. It takes on a vibrant, ruby-red color. The steam coming from the jar smells so good that I almost want to disregard the fact that it's too hot to drink without getting burned!! Hahaha!

(Don't worry - I do have delayed gratification and impulse control skills; no tongues were burned in the making of this photo, I promise! ahahaha~!)

Here's how it looks after just a little bit of milk and honey are added!

It turned out even better than I expected, even though I added just a little more honey than I normally do. I think maybe you would have liked this one, too. Or perhaps that's just wishful thinking on my part? I wonder.

I know you can't answer me, but I'll still ask: Do you like tea? If you do, what kinds do you like best? And if you don't, then what do you like instead? You're at the Edge of Creation, right? And you have astounding powers by now, don't you? Even if where you're at is fresh out of milk or tea, maybe you can use your awesome abilities to conjure up something nice for yourself, no?

How are you doing over there, anyhow? Are you warm enough? Are you safe? Are you taking good care of yourself? What kinds of sights do you fill your eyes with? What kinds of sounds do you fill your ears with? What kinds of stories and words do you fill your mind and heart with? It's important to be very careful about which things we choose to engrave into our psyches in this context; we become what we eat, after all.

As for me, I suppose I'm feeling a bit pensive. I reflect upon the life I have now, and how starkly different it is from the life I knew before. For the sake of simplicity, we can say that I have 22 years of poverty and horror (though the first four years weren't so bad); as an unwanted child who was only conceived by mistake, I was violently conditioned into voicelessness and shaped into a tool to be used rather than a human being to be loved and understood. I was treated much in the same way one might treat household furniture or appliances - it gets used when it's needed, gets ignored the rest of the time, and gets either discarded or a good "thwack" when it's broken or malfunctioning, or not staying silent and out of the way like it's supposed to.

For a very long time, the closest thing I thought I could have to a "normal" life was to make myself useful to someone else so that even if I was not loved per se, someone would still be motivated to keep me around; I knew well how to make my sense of self disappear in favor of being servile, by that point. But this way of being isn't really "living", is it? No… this is barely even "existing". It's a very invisible and lonely thing, and if you're not careful, the resulting feelings will crawl into your mind, heart, and lungs, and leave you barely able to draw breath, not unlike some kind of thick, cold, black, heavy water.

But I'm sure you know a little something about all this already, don't you? You probably know even more about this than I do. I imagine that your upbringing makes mine look like a trip to Disneyworld or something. It's amazing to me that you're still here, even after all of the horror you've been through. I hope you can look at yourself and be very proud of your tenacity, determination, and resolve; watching you make use of those traits is part of how I managed to survive.

I have 11, almost 12 years of healing. I got lucky enough to meet people who were willing to teach me what it meant to be treated like an actual human being, even though my upbringing had turned me into a person who really didn't know at the time how to speak or act constructively. Safety is a very scary thing when you only know pain and chaos, and I lashed out pre-emptively often. Still, they hung on, even through all my thrashing and resistance, and I learned. Slowly but surely, I learned. I became who I am now. And I'm still becoming whoever it was that I was supposed to be, day by day.

I've discovered along the way that despite it all, you can still build a normal life out of the wreckage of whatever came before. All you need is a bit of safety and someone to show you how to handle and reassemble the jagged pieces of the version of you that was brutally broken in the past. As you assemble the pieces and bind them together again with iron will, you will certainly slice open a few fingers and burn yourself on the hot metal as you work with the things that never should have been shattered in the first place, but that's okay; it is the way of things. The pain is sharp and white-hot when you make mistakes, but you have to try not to panic as you remember that you've survived worse things.

And, as long as you don't give up, when you are done, you will have a version of you that is prismatic and kaleidoscopic - something that is both "normal" and "far more glorious than normal" at the exact same time. And isn't that beautiful? After all - no one can build stained glass windows without breaking a few panes of glass, right?

And, although stained glass windows might not be "normal" per se, as compared to ones made of single sheets of plexiglass, they're still common enough, far more beautiful to look at, and far more resistant to shattering, what with all that fancy metal adding structural integrity and all. I don't regret what happened to me. I wouldn't change it for anything. After all, it has allowed me to grow into someone who can now go and help other people who have been through similar things.

So I suppose in short… anyone can build for themselves a version of normal, and it can be good enough. Even I can do it, and I'm just some autistic weirdo living in a defective body in some ordinary place. You are far more intelligent and capable than I am. You can have that "normal" life you wished for as a boy; all you gotta do is be willing to learn what it looks like, and start to believe that you can work towards it. If you want, I'll hold your hand as you do it if you want to try, so that you don't have to be scared or feel like you're all by yourself.

Please be safe out there as you do your things, okay? I'll still be here cheering for you, in whatever small ways I can. Just make sure you don't disappear. Don't go so far away that no one can reach you anymore.

I'll write more later.

Your friend, Lumine

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little-bloodied-angel · 7 months

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So my birthday is this Friday, and:

-I'm sick as a dog currently, can't see my doctor until tomorrow, and it may be covid, which would mean I'd have to be in isolation.

-In no small part thanks to my mother, I haven't hit my weight gain goal. I feel guilty but also just look awful in general, and I'm weak and in pain

-I look even worse because I've been sick and depressed during the relapse, so I haven't kept my eyebrows up after my last professional appointment, which was really difficult to do at home without equipment anyway and being nearly blind. And the appointment was in July anyway. I also haven't gotten my hair done like I usually do around my birthday. And I couldn't replace my gel nails because my mother keeps putting it off because she's a cheapskate, same as the eyebrows, so now one is broken and the rest are overgrown (I got them done in late August). There's no time to fix any of it even if I could pay for it because there's no way I can get the appointments. Even if I could, I can't call for those appointments until I'm tested negative for covid, and seeing the first point that's going to take a while

-Because dealing with my BDD and ED isn't enough, I got my period and I'll still have it on Friday, so I'm going to be super dysphoric. And only able to wear black clothes in case of stains. And not being able to take a nice bath either (can't use insertion object type sanitary products).

-My uncle/godfather is completely ignoring me

-My father has basically disappeared and hasn't mentioned my birthday once

-My mother is a piece of shit as ever and now she's taken to leaving me completely alone to go to her father's house despite me being actively sick now and not "just" disabled. Which means that I'm coughing my lungs up and with such a high fever I see double, and I still have to at minimum take care of the dog and feed myself. The last time I was walking the dog I got so dizzy because of the fever and general weakness that I almost split my head on the edge of the sidewalk but when I told her about that all she did was yell about me not being careful enough. The only times my birthday has been mentioned in the house at all is whenever I bring it up and she complains that I want everything to be about me and "ridiculously expensive things" like the nails. Btw she's still living off the money she gets both from my dad and from the government for having a disabled child and living in my house without paying rent or mortgage. So even if I was really asking for expensive things, that's my money.

-My only irl best friend dipped on me because she mixed up the dates related to an event that features one of her comics.

-Most of my online friends aren't talking to me either

-Something else that I'm really upset about but that I can't mention in a public post for more than one reason.

There's more stuff going on but these are just the recent developments as of like last month. It's like some force of the universe heard me complain about not wanting to turn 29 and also about how difficult it was going to be to celebrate and decided to make it outright impossible. Most of my birthdays have been pretty sad and lonely, especially lately, but man I suspect this one is going to take the cake. The only one that probably can't be topped is the one where I planned my super special 18th birthday for months and then I died during the party (coded during a seizure) because my chronic illness finally had it with me and suffered a steady decline ever since then.

It's really looking fucking great. Alone, looking horrid, being depressed, no party, no presents and no special food. Of all the things I wanted I am going to have literally zero.

And of course if I ever do make mention of being sad about this my mother becomes even more emotionally abusive than usual.

What's the damn point anymore?

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therummonster · 1 year

Text

single quotes from the creation trio

Champagne: Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!

Benny: You can de-escalate literally any situation by asking ‘are we about to kiss?’ Benny: Doesn't work with getting out of speeding tickets, though.

Champagne: Caw caw, motherfuckers.

Benny: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" is all I need. Benny: Not all this "how did you get into my house" business.

Champagne: Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. It was because shut up. Shut up is why.

Champagne: When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Champagne lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the person who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

Champagne: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”. Champagne: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.

Benny: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can’t take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth

Vasilia: I’ve made a spread sheet of all the crime in Brooklyn. Vasilia: There’s so much crime in New York, no one should live here.

Vasilia: I'd make fun of your height but there isn't enough to make fun of.

Vasilia: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.

Champagne: Pros and cons of dating me. Champagne: Pros. You'll be the cute one. Champagne: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

Benny: Is this a good idea? Benny: Probably not. Benny: Do I care? Benny: No.

Vasilia: cocks gun Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a Threat.

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and- Champagne: No returns. Demon: sobbing But it's making me sad…

Benny: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities. Benny, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

Benny: Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way.

Champagne: Tired of just deserving better. Gonna start taking it by force.

Benny: If I stay in bed I'll be warm. If I get in the shower, I'll also be warm. But the distance between the bed and shower? No. That is not warm.

Champagne: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture. The Squad: Awwww- Champagne: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything." The Squad: Oh.

Champagne: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

Champagne: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.

Champagne: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

Benny: The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens.

#ah fuck i forgot the tags again.#benny sharp #popcrossstudios #dr champagne mcgregor #vasilia kuznet #therum creation

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thanatos-drive · 2 years

Text

Dusk of the final day.

Less than 24 hours remian.

Copied from facebook.

Okay, I don't think sleeping will be happening.

I'll be driving to Penn to get my first Prolotherapy injections, in order for this to work I'll be needing to have them done over and over for the next couple of months, and that's just for A body part, so all together it's going to be a lot of shots, and a lot of pain inflammation.

Since I decided to go through with this a couple of weeks back, I've been trying to hunt down people with EDS who have had it and it's been a mixed bag of results. Those on whom it did work advise towards keep doing it even if it takes a couple of tries and upgrade to PRP (the really expensive one) as that seems to be more effective.

I'll be driving myself back after taking the shots, I was told against it but from what other people with EDS claim, it is possible, it's just going to hurt a lot, but that hurt is pretty much what we live in everyday (everyone told me the covid shots/booster would hurt and when I actually got it's not even a fraction of the pain I'm on a daily basis) so its possibly negligible. I don't think there's that much of a risk involved. If they were injecting my neck it would probably be an issue.

I want to say thank you to all the people who helped me with my gofundme, regardless of what happens next, the first round was covered thanks to your help.

Overall the analogy I'm giving myself is this is like chemo, or this is like insulin. It's something that could or could not work and it's something that I may have to keep doing to myself for the rest of my life.

There are so many stories I know about people with EDS who can't take care of themselves, I've been pretty vain and proud about it but I'm there already, I've been there for a while. I think it's probably a lot to think I could live by myself. But as stated in previous posts, I just need to survive a year. I could either move or find someone that's willing to room with me, but in the mean time I have to stay in Akron and finish my last year of school.

I wish I'd done this earlier and not as summer is about to end, a couple of bad things happened that mad me face facts. I am deluding myself into thinking I can manage without help, and without some sort of intervention (surgery, assisted devices, assisted living, prolo) I wished I'd decided towards this when I could still raise my arms or before I'd fallen down the stairs.

I thank to anyone who has kept up with my posts. I pretty much disappeared these last 4 years as this disease kept taking more and more away from me. I've become very low energy, easily fatigued, I'm not exaggerating when I say the lack of mental challenge in my life is making me dumb (look at my grammar), I've recently become familiar with the concept of brainfog and while I feel that's partially happening, I also think I'm legit getting dumber. I really am trying to make up for it, I've been afraid my lifespan has been affected along with so many other things, I've been treating this summer like a bucket list of things I wanted to do. I hope that if something does happen that I can leave more good memories than bad ones. And that what I've done to reconnect and talk more with some of you was good for you.

I have not been religious in a while, but I often think that even if you change your mind, smalls aspects of how you were raised still prevail. In saying this what I'm asking if that if you could throw some good wishes my way and hope that luck if on my side and I'm one of the people this works on, that would be appreciated.

I will need all the luck in the world to survive this year.

Thanks for putting up with my meme shitposting or my super emo messages.

#ehlers danlos syndrome #ehlers danlos type 3 #ehlers danlos #ehler danlos syndrome #thanatosdrive adventures

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descendinginto-madness · 10 days

Text

a quiet cry for help.

word count: 1636

content warnings: mentions & descriptions of health issues, medication, mentions of the character struggling to take good care of their health sometimes

summary: N/A

author's notes: i'm going to be so honest when i'm writing this i'm very sleepy idk what to say </3 emile isn't allowed to be happy this month. also once again this wasn't written with a romantic relationship in mind :3 i now see i could've added a lot more of dan heng's feelings but i'm gonna be so honest i didn't have time </3 maybe at some point i'll edit this and do that

The Astral Express Family

Emile: uhh guys

Emile: could someone lkke

Emile: come to the parol car rq lol

Emile: *parlor sorry

Dan Heng frowns slightly, reading the incoming messages. He’s sitting in the archives, working - or rather, was working, up until he saw the texts. Normally, perhaps he wouldn't pay too much attention to these messages - their tone isn't too out of place for Emile, even the typos are something common for them - but right now, he can't help but feel slightly concerned by them. There's something about them that makes him feel like something's wrong - even though he shouldn't…

Or should he?

Then, suddenly, all of the pieces fall into place and he realizes what exactly feels off for him.

He remembers how Emile looked when he saw them this morning; tired and a bit pale, like they weren't doing too well. They still smiled when they saw him, and insisted they're alright when he asked them about it, but both of them know that Emile tends to brush off their issues, whether emotional or physical. It's not a secret; neither that, nor their health issues, caused by the Stellaron remains in their body - and even if Emile did try to keep them that way, it wouldn't be possible. Not with how attentive Himeko and Mr. Yang in particular were, and with how similar some of their symptoms were to what Stelle herself has been and still sometimes is suffering from: nausea, dizziness, fevers and sometimes body pains - and though Emile's flare-ups seem to be less violent than Stelle's most of the time, they're still something not to be taken lightly.

Granted, in the morning they also didn't look like it was something extremely serious either - thankfully. He knows he's probably worrying about Emile much more than they are about themself, but even so, it was still concerning - especially since they decided to go help Himeko with something about the train engine instead of resting.

And that's… also the part that makes his worry spark again.

If it was the two of them who needed help, Emile would've worded their question differently. If it was something only they needed help with, Himeko should be there to assist them, so they wouldn't ask - unless she isn't there anymore, because the two of them have finished their work already.

Me: What's the matter? Is everything alright?

He can't help but feel like it's a rhetorical question right now, but it's necessary; he's already distracted from his work, somewhat anxiously watching the three dots at the bottom of the screen disappear and reappear a few times, as Emile is typing. The fact that he's the only one who has read their messages so far doesn't help - not that he's going to get angry at the others now, he'd just feel much better if he knew that if anything bad has happened, there's someone else also ready to help immediately.

Right when he's starting to think that it's taking them a worryingly long time to answer him, a reply appears.

Emile: yes and no

Emile: i kindaaa

Emile: might've overestimated myslef lol

Emile: *myself

Emile: tried to stand up then almost fell haha

Me: I'm on my way.

If they aren't strong enough to stand on their own then it's - obviously - a bad sign, yet they're still clearly trying to make their messages sound lighthearted.

Of course.

He's glad the archives are the first cabin in the hallway leading to the parlor car; it takes him just a moment to get there, open the door and step inside the lounge area maybe a tiny bit too frantically - but he can't help it, he's not even entirely sure what to expect. Thankfully, though, what he sees isn't the worst case scenario that popped up in his head - Emile isn't passed out on the floor somewhere, but instead curled up on one of the couches, half wrapped in a blanket, and - most importantly - conscious.

That's about where the good things end, though; when he steps closer he can't not notice the paleness of their skin, and the sickly look on their face, almost as if they were about to throw up. But even so, they smile when they see him - their lips stretch in a faint, weak-looking smile.

“Hi,” they say, and their voice is quiet, almost like they were afraid that even speaking too loudly is going to make them feel worse.

“What's the matter?” he asks, sitting down right next to them. “Where's Himeko?” he adds, raising his hand to touch their forehead gently; he can immediately tell it's a little too warm. Of course, they have a fever, and it’s painfully clear that it isn't the only thing bothering them right now.

“She left when we were done,” they reply. “I was almost falling asleep and ended up doing it here, I guess she just wanted to let me rest.”

Dan Heng nods.

“And then?"

“And then I woke up and felt awful,” they let out a quiet laugh, but it's short-lived. They hold back, as if even such a simple thing could make their nausea worse. “I… didn't know it'd get so bad so quickly,” they add. They sound almost apologetic, and Dan Heng looks at them for a moment; as much as they tend to overlook their symptoms sometimes, he doesn't doubt they're telling the truth right now.

He nods again.

“Do you need help getting back to your room? Or would you prefer to stay here? Do you need me to get you anything?” He says, trying to sound calm, so they won't feel like he's flooding them with questions. They shake their head but, once more, it looks like they held themself back from instinctively doing it with more energy at the last minute.

“No, Ii– well, I'd go to my room, it's just–” they pause, then look away with a quiet sigh, and he’s sure the slight red hue on their cheeks isn't a sign of any illness this time, but rather embarrassment. That's why he doesn't rush them; a few seconds pass before they speak up again, but he waits until they're ready to do so.

“Well— I feel like I'm gonna throw up if I try to get up again,” they finally admit. He can obviously tell it isn't easy for them - he knows they often have trouble asking for help, and it's also something he understands much better than he admits.

“I can carry you back” he offers. He says that before he can properly think about it, but it's alright. They don't seem all that convinced, so he quickly reassures them. “It's fine. I won't mind.” Only then, they finally give him a small nod. He stands up and carefully slides one arm under their back, and the other - under their knees; he feels the warmth radiating off of their body as he picks them up. Soon enough something else catches his attention, though - Emile's eyes.

Or rather, the way Emile looks - like they are about to cry.

The two of them make eye contact and of course, Emile immediately wipes their eyes in a not so gentle manner. His expression softens a little; it's still serious, but it loses most of its usual cold.

“...Are you alright?” he asks, and it's not a rhetorical question this time - he's not inquiring about their physical well-being, both of them know how that is. This is about whatever else is on their mind right now.

“Yes, sorry,” they reply quietly, looking away, and he shakes his head gently.

“You don't have to apologize,” he reassures them. They can't control it, after all; their health issues aren't their fault. If anything is to blame here, it's the Stellaron.

“But you said you're going to be working–”

“And since when is my work more important than your health?”

They don't reply this time, but they rest their head against his shoulder as he carries them back to their room. He slides the door open and heads straight towards the bed. He's glad to see the medicine on their nightstand; it's not like he wouldn't immediately go get it for them or look around their room if it wasn't there, but he's happy that, as it seems, Emile finally remembered about it. It could mean they don't feel guilty about using the Astral Express's stock anymore; or, well, at the very least, less than they did earlier.

“Do you need anything?” he asks, looking around the room to check if everything is in place. It's a little messy, as always, but he supposes that's just how Emile’s place is usually going to look. Among other things left on their desk he spots a half-empty bottle of some sweet drink, but he doubts that they will want to even look at sweets in their current state.

“Water?” they ask; he somewhat expected that.

“Sure. Will you be alright on your own for a moment?”

When they nod he leaves the room and goes to the kitchen. He texts Himeko and Mr. Yang on his way there to inform them about Emile's state, but he also adds that everything's under control, and that it's… Less serious than it sometimes gets.

Once he comes back to their bedroom, though, with a glass of water in hand, he sees they're already asleep.

He quietly puts the glass on the nightstand, right next to the medicine, and adjusts Emile's blanket, to make sure they're properly covered. They mumble something in their sleep when he does it, and he freezes momentarily, but they don't wake up.

He stands there for a few seconds more, thinking - and, ultimately, he makes himself comfortable on the floor, back leaned against their bed.

He will stay there for a while, just in case.

divider by @/cafekitsune

#angstpril2024 #honkai star rail #fanfiction #day16 #cry for help #hsr #hsr oc #dan heng #tw health #tw health issues #tw self destructive behavior #(this one's just in case)#dim writing ☁️

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casspurrjoybell-21 · 29 days

Text

Pirate Chains - Volume 2 - Against Tides

*Warning Adult Content*

Chapter 7 - Dance - Part 4

Agenor

I lowered the wine jar and found that the area around the fire to be busier.

Several dancers had joined the fun, circling and dancing around the fire.

The wolves watched them with hungry eyes, watching their hips sway and move like snakes.

Some danced solo, while others whirled around each other, flashing their asses and bosoms to their audiences.

My eyes settled on two of them who where trying to coerce a certain someone to dance.

One standing behind Nyx, pulling his hands up in the air, while the other, Celia moved her arms like waves in front of him, sometimes swaying up then down again, the other kicked her heels in the sand and clapped her hands in the air.

I watched him intently, somehow having him trapped between the dancers, looked extremely erotic.

With wine obviously slowing him down, my sweet angel, surrendered to the enchanting trance, he followed the hands that took turns in pulling and circling him.

At some point he started to follow their moves more easily, his feet chasing the rhythm as he moved around the flickering fire, with a spellbinding smile tugging at his mouth.

When one of the dancers pulled a pirate into the game, soon more and more joined the fun.

As the circle grew busier, my eyes traveled to keep track of the one I adored.

Nyx disappeared for a minute and I frowned.

A minute passed and my heart pinched.

I was about to step in and get him, when he emerged from the crowd, pushing pirates away and getting away from their messy moves.

He looked around and when our eyes met, his smile came to life.

He walked towards me, stumbling a little bit, baring keeping his balance from the drinking and dancing around.

As soon as he was at my side, he sat down on the sand and lay his head on my lap.

I froze for a moment, as he had never shown me public affection before.

I chuckled when he snuggled even more in my lap... with his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted, my drunken angel had already passed out.

I ignored the chuckles and remarks of those who didn't have a hand up a whore's skirt.

I put my arm around him and resumed drinking the very fine wine, while the tips of my fingers, secretly played with his hair.

Nyx

I woke up when Agenor calmly called my name. I rubbed my eyes and sat up.

"Why am I asleep on the beach."

"Funny story, that."

I didn't remember and lately when that happened, it meant that I had gotten drunk and done something wrong and probably highly embarrassing.

"Hey. You should go to our tent and sleep some more. I'm going to town to take care of some business. Do you want to come with me?"

I try to think about that but I have a huge headache.

"I want to come with you... but I don't think..."

He chuckled and I felt his hand ruffling my hair. It felt good.

"Go to our tent, Nyx. Sleep some more. I'll be back at around noon. Okay?"

I nodded and pulled myself up onto my bare feet.

Nyx: 'Oh God. I feel like a right mess.'

Agenor left and I made it to his tent.

I found a sheet and laid it down on the sand in the corner and then I immediately joined it and went back to sleep.

When I woke up I was about to stand when I saw that girl Cherri was inside Agenor's tent.

"I'm in a lot of trouble because of you. Do you know that?"

I hesitated at that, mostly because I figured out what she meant.

My mind wanted my to respond to the way I was raised, bow slightly and apologize, even if I wasn't wrong but I refrained from it, this time.

"You know, Izel saved my life..."

Our eyes met but she looked away, then continued...

"I was kidnapped from my village... pirates. They took mw away after they killed my father. They forced me to become their slave... washing, cleaning and cooking for them. At night they wouldn't let my body rest. After that, Izel bought me from them and since then I have had a glimmer of hope..." she sighed, then looked at me.

"Pirates are all the same. You're all ruthless. Your kind kept me against my will, abused me... raped me..." she went silent for a moment, her eyes piercing accusations at me.

Nyx: 'She was like me. Kept against her will... raped. I felt sorry for her. I felt guilty too. I didn't do those hideous things but I am a pirate. I am one of those who did that to her.'

"I'm sorry."

Cherri stood up abruptly.

"Whatever. I don't expect the likes of you to understand. Today, I heard some rich boy was also captured from a guarded Island. What was it? I think the merchant mention... Mila Island. Anyway, the boy's mother was so distraught, that she has fallen sick. I guess even rich people suffer from pirates. I just made me remember my mother..."

My heart kicked so hard I could hear it ringing in my ears.

My brain accelerated as my mind tried to work out what I had just heard.

Mila Island... someone rich... from Mila Island.

My body moved on it's own as I scurried to stand in front of Cherri, my hands grabbing both of her hands.

"Where did you hear that from? A merchant? You said it was a merchant?"

"Why do you asking?"

"I need to know... please, my lady, just tell me."

"Yes. A merchant that works on Mila Island. He was just here."

"What? He was just here?"

"Aye, he just left about twenty minutes ago. He's about to sail to Ebina Island and from there back to Mila Island.

Nyx" 'Mila Island. Someone from Mila Island and mother... Oh God, please let her be okay.'

My heart squeezed tightly in my chest and I realized I had to move fast.

"Please, Cherri. Take me to him."

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lightvsdark18 · 2 months

Text

Vacation in The Human World 3.2

Followed LovesOfLauryn and Lavi Alraune's playthrough

Goes looking for them, music room first.

["The eldest son."]

Simeon calls them.

["I can handle them."]

"But it would help if they were here."

"How did you two get here?"

"Guys, can we focus on finding Mammon and Luke?"

"I want to find the lost goofballs."

What?!

"Steve! I'm Kate and he's Steve."

Slowly takes Satan's hand.

The brothers takes Satan away while Simeon pulls Milady with him, hands undoing.

"Are you sure we should have left him with them?"

Squints.

"But how did we get sent to the past? We were just in the House of Lamentation."

"No, this is first time meeting each other."

"Help you with what?"

"Maybe in a dream?"

"This task Lucifer asked of you?"

Fluffy eggs? I would feel bad eating them.

"Uh, I don't know."

"Steve dearest, hush."

"-then why don't YOU try to being his sweet, obedient little brother?!"

Touches his shoulder. "Hey, let's go get some fresh air." Then takes his hand and pulls him outside with them.

The two sit on a bench, holding hands in silence, waiting for him to speak first.

Uh oh.

"Uh, I'm Kate and this is Steve, we're with Simeon."

Rude.

"Cat!" Whisper yells to Satan. "Its rough dealing with them, huh." (One of the nicknames for Satan is cat, he doesn't know about it)

Mid sentence they bump their arm on Satan's.

They don't know what to do.

"Uh, human."

Sir, back the fuck up.

"We accidentally came to the Celestial Realm, we're just trying to get home."

Slowly scoots over to Satan and takes his hand once again.

Cat, what the hell.

"I didn't really do anything."

"Wouldn't he be mad?"

"Where's Simeon?"

"Sure, I won't tell them."

Pats his head.

Takes a moment to gaze at the stars, then look for Simeon.

"Where were you? You suddenly disappeared on me."

Aw.

"Fairy ring flowers, but since they messed with us it's better if we just leave."

Wraps an arm around Luke and hugs him.

"Don't fight."

"Guys, don't start fighting. Can I have a room to myself?"

"Are you okay? You look sad."

Stares at him until he says what's wrong.

Side hugs him.

"Depends on where you plan to kiss me. If it's the lips, I don't like you like that." "As a friend."

They're not climbing out the window and risking their life.

Gets the star after the train ride.

At first it was cute, then you ruined it.

"No."

"Really? You two are the reason he has gray hairs."

"Hm?"

"And weren't going to explain any of this to me until I'm in the middle of my test?"

"Tail Thieves?"

"Nooooo."

"Give me some time to prepare before tackling me."

"And I don't use the pacts against you to begin with."

"But I don't have a pact with him."

Gives them Barbatos's grimoire. "Uh, I don't know."

"After hearing that, I definitely don't want it."

"No."

"I wasn't going to use it to begin with."

"I promise I won't."

"Maybe he thinks he has one now."

Checks nails. "We'll see."

Yanks it off. "What secrets are you hiding from me?"

"Nah."

"Yes, I know how powerful he is, but that doesn't mean I should use his grimoire."

"... Hard to say."

Immediately puts their hand on their tail.

Asmo, what the hell.

"Lucifer?"

Signals to Barbatos.

They make the bold move to remove their hand from their tail to catch the remote and press the buttons.

"Asmo!"

Asmo, what the hell.

Milady walks over and rips Satan's tail off.

"I think it's an act, restrain him first, then I'll grab the tail."

"There's probably a reason instead of just being good at a game."

"When did you make a pact with him?"

Damn, you easy.

"Damn."

"Give me the rest of the ice cream."

Oh no. "Asmo, be nice. And don't be weird."

"-it doesn't seem to work on Kate..." Does a peace sign and a small "haha" with one eye closed.

"No."

"No, I don't care what happened to make him serve Lord Diavolo. It's his business, not mine."

(I just realized, Chaos would a grimoire, she has to fight the brothers to not read it.)

"Platypus, which could lay golden eggs."

Levi grabs them by the front of their shirt and toss them into the bathtub. Flips him off.

Reaches forwards and pulls him into the tub with them. When he's lying next to them, grabs his tail and rips it off.

"Don't do that, they'll kill you if you do."

The two wait in silence until Barbatos speaks up.

"You pretty much described them already, but I'll say they're like family to me and sometimes they annoy me and sometimes they make me laugh."

"Simeon is a dear friend and Luke is like a little brother, but I joke that he's my son."

What Milady think of him isn't brought up. (They're indifferent/see him as an acquaintance)

Prys open Belphie's hands.

"Work my- oh. Stay!"

"Satan, got any ideas?"

"... Barbatos, any suggestions?"

"Yeah, when he's alone with me he's pretty goofy. I guess I'm only one in this family who doesn't stress him out."

"Hold on, I did not act seduce Levi, I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and threw him in the bathtub with me."

Sighs.

"Don't say seduce."

Milady has sat on Lucifer's lap a few times before this, the tables have turned. Hands on above his knee and behind his shoulder.

Can the peanut gallery shut up.

"Cough up that tail, pretty boy."

"Sorry to disappoint, but there's nothing I want you to do. So, what do you want to do for me?" Lucifer senses the pride glowing in them, finding it very interesting.

"Ask him, not me." Smug sheep.

"I mean, there has to be a good reason, so I'm not really thinking about it."

"Don't be an asshole."

"He does, but he also loves his brothers."

Flips him off jokingly.

"He's an acquaintance."

(Why take my tail? LovesOfLauryn stated when you take Lucifer's tail, the test was over. So, what was the point to taking mine? My immediate thought after my tail getting ripped off was I failed the test.)

(Also, I would have been fine if they didn't insult me for trusting them.)

Solomon laughs as Barbatos tells him how Milady believed they were on the same team and putting their trust in the two was their greatest weakness. Their eyes quickly turn teal at the insults. "Solomon said you two were helping me, of course I thought you guys were on my side."

Asmo jumps slightly at their angry tone. "Kate, why are you getting mad?"

"Because you betrayed me, you can't think I would be okay with being stabbed in the back and be told I'm the fool for trusting you guys when I was told to do so! You know what, just got out of my room, here's your damn book." They toss the "grimoire" onto the table.

Solomon, taking in their shut off posture, gently explains the purpose of the test but they don't care. Temptation, Barbatos's grimoire was never a temptation, so what was purpose of this?

They keep their arms wrap across their chest, looking away from the three in their anger. Solomon sighs and asks for their hand, having them lazily place it on his palm and grant them the fifth star before frowning at them, then walk out.

Barbatos walks out with no little care while Asmo approaches them. "Come on, Kate. We were just having fun, no need to get-" he cuts himself from their cold glare aimed at him.

"Get out," they coldly order.

"Katie, don't take this so seriously. We can go out and-"

"I said get out." He jumps and sorrowfully walks out of the room.

They stare down at the table and wipe a tear rolling down their cheek.

Asmo gets the cold shoulder for a few days.

"Global sweets sampler? And you didn't invite me?" >:/

Doesn't like getting surrounded.

"I'm getting anxious for the next star to be honest."

Makes an unsure expression.

"I should ask Belphie first before Lord Diavolo."

"You betrayed Kate after she got Lucifer's tail during her previous trial." -Beel

"Body slam him."

Asmo and Beel, the protective older brothers. "Really, guys. If he does make things more romantic, I'll shoot it down, I can handle it myself."

"Schedule full of sleeping instead of exploring."

"Don't like him?" "Why though?"

"Belphie, I'm going stop you right there. When it comes to the exchange program, I don't want to hear your opinion on it or how you were against it."

(Says the one who wanted to kill all of humanity because he didn't get his way.)

"Where's Luke now? I could ask Lord Diavolo to let him to come."

(Is the person Simeon was meeting Raphael?)

"Belphie, you could have said no. Stop complaining."

DD and Sam.

Gently touches Diavolo's arm."DD, please stop. If he doesn't want wear them, don't force him."

Milady tells Diavolo to leave Belphie alone after the avatar runs off. But the prince doesn't listen, causing them to sigh and follow. Stays out of the conversation.

"Hell no. I'm staying on the ground."

Milady was waiting at the exit, how did he disappear without being seen?

"He's the owner of that famous hotel, he was on the news."

"He could gotten kidnapped?!" Oh fuck.

Of course they texted me.

"This is bullshit."

Shrugs.

Isn't talking when walking to the loudspeaker.

Shit.

"We don't know if he willingly walked off with a kidnapper."

I don't like how naive Diavolo is.

"O winds of protection..."

"DD, you two scared the guy half to death, there's no need to go after him."

(I knew I was sandwiched between them, such a Chad moment.) "Look at that, I have a demon on each arm."

"This is no time to be making cute comments, Kate!"

"It's always the time!"

Doesn't get on the thrill rides.

Ouch...

"But I didn't do anything though."

"Why do you say that?"

"If you walked off to get ice cream, why didn't you tell him that before leaving?"

(Unicorn)

Eating dinner with the brothers, Diavolo and Barbatos makes their heart feel whole.

"You should thank your twin, not really me."

Lucifer calls their name, panics. Then relaxes. Then panics again. "Not my fault no one told him not to talk to strangers."

(I get up and run for it only to trip over my feet. "I'm going lie here and accept my fate.")

"If he does, it doesn't matter." "You can't please everyone or make them like you. If he starts dislikes you again, don't worry about it."

"Sure."

Places hand behind back.

"In beginning, maybe, but now he wants to stay by your side from what I see."

They freeze at hearing those words. He... loves me? Their heart starts racing as they thought about what to say. "Can I ask how you feel about me?" Their eyes stare into his, a saddening expression on their face. "I'm sorry, I only see you as a friend."

"I'm guessing your heart must already belong to someone else. Would it happen to be one of the seven brothers?" They shake their head. "My heart belongs to no one at the moment."

When it was just Diavolo and Milady, they talked about things happening in present time, the human world or the Devildom, not really talking about themselves until after the confession. He saw their personality from their small chats, what Lucifer said about them and some events, slowly falling for the person he saw. However, he realized he knew nothing about them besides the small details from Lucifer, and them also knowing nothing about him.

The two slowly opened up to each other. (Probably a few days after the confession, Milady speaks to him in private to tell him about their past since he did it for them.)

Suddenly turns to Satan and Belphie and yell, "what are you doing?!"

"Are you sure? I could team up with Lucifer."

Shrugs.

Jokingly smug.

(I booped Lucy's nose and his face immediately got smug. The timing!)

"Mammon, Levi, what's wrong?"

"Or they have a good reason for acting this way." Stares annoyingly at Asmo. "Not interested."

Sarcastically, "yeah, you shouldn't attend."

"You have to wait until we get to the hotel."

"You think everything's embarrassing, Levi."

"All seven of the guys here are brothers." "Asmo, I will hurt you, in a bad way. I'm a friend, but I became a new sibling to them recently."

They did not buy 37 meat pies. (Are we all carrying them as Beel eats?)

In the hospital?! The fuck!?

Grabs Mammon and Levi by the ear. "What did you two do?"

"Lord Diavolo, can't you do something about the evil spirit?"

"Yes, but I didn't think they exist." (It made me think about The Babadook movie.)

They sit down on the couch and place a hand to their forehead at what they're hearing. Those idiots...

"Sure, I'll tell you afterwards."

"No, I would abandon you after you fucked up like this."

"What, why?"

"Solomon, don't hold Simeon as a prisoner."

"Why does it look like you?"

"Just tell me what I have to do." Sounds a bit annoyed.

"Then who's the bravest among all of us? Whoever can put their fear aside and help me take down the boogeyman can join me."

"I know what Lucifer is scared of and it should be pretty obvious on what it is. And no, I'm not going to say it because of Solomon." (My thought is losing his family and being all by himself)

"Like I'm going to tell you." (Milady's greatest fear is the brothers only seeing them as Lilith, that they're just a replacement and the brothers don't actually love them.)

>:( "If he wants it gone so badly, then he should be here and help instead of bitching about it." (I know he will kill me later, but screw it.)

Sighs. "Let's get this over with."

"You don't want to protect your precious princess 🥺?"

Covers his eyes.

Grabs his hand and pulls him out of the room.

"He had a freaking panic attack. And Mammon, Levi, you two were weak in the knees at seeing Lucifer's demon form, you got no room to talk."

"Belphie?" "Belphie, I'm right here."

Places a hand on his head. Then takes his hand and pulls him out of the room.

"I'll tell you at home."

"Beel, you're not losing Belphie. Remember nothing here is real."

Holds Beel's face. "Nothing here is real. Belphie is safe, along with everyone else."

"Satan, Avatar of Wrath."

"Thanks. I'm going to celebrate by taking a nap."

"Are you okay, Simeon?"

"Something cats ride on."

Let's Mammon step on the rumba.

"I can use more magic."

(Satan is in the bathtub to read)

"I don't know, you guys are pretty annoying and I couldn't handle seeing you constantly."

"Sup."

"Do it yourself, Mammon."

"Hey Lord Diavolo, what are you doing?"

"Visiting Angel's Helo to annoy Mammon."

"What about seeing you and Barbatos?"

"Then I'll just call you up and convince you to hang out with me."

(Aw)

"Simeon, Luke, how long are you two staying?"

"Should we do a party before you guys leave?"

"I don't know, the only word I can think of immediately is healing."

"Jelly, Solomon?"

"Thank you. Hold it for a second." Takes off glove to slide the ring on.

Immediately shuts the door. (Both smartphones have waterproof cases because of Levi in the past.)

"Can you stop using Lotan everytime your brother pisses you off?"

"Then stop using TSL as your passwords."

The password is an inside joke between the two.

"Yeah :D"

"I thought we were already a family. And if we have to say goodbye throughout our lives, you know we will see each other. It's going to be okay."

"Whatcha you doing?"

"Celery." >:3

"Hey, I didn't volunteer to clean up. What the heck."

Declines.

Has no response.

"What about Beel's ice cream?"

("Yet he didn't know you were in the attic.")

"I don't know how to feel on that intuition."

No response.

Declines.

"No, do it yourself."

"More like getting fresh air."

Looks at the list. "Damn."

Let's the book fall. "Nah, I'm good. But what about you?"

>:( "You should do a better job at being a lookout."

"Satan, let go of me. This feels like a romance novel."

"The real question is if you will be okay without me?"

"Dinner's ready."

"Are you sulking?"

"You're a demon, you make it happen." Jokingly.

"I'm not going to stay if you're going to blame me."

"Levi, I'm going to throw you out of the window."

"Fine." Begrudgingly gets up.

"To confess your love for me."

"You're such an old man."

"You're acting like I'm planning something good. It could be something that annoys you greatly, or worse." ^-^

"Did we do well?"

"I couldn't do it without you guys."

"I really don't want to sing."

Tries to hide their disgust.

"And more in the future."

"... I want to see more the Celestial Realm since I was only there for an hour."

"I thought I was already a part of the family."

"Wait, what?"

"Uh, hm, all of this unnecessary and a bit too much. I understand you guys want to continue spending time with me and it hurts to say goodbye, but marriage? Come on, guys."

"Solomon, hell to the no. I rather marry someone who is in my age group."

"I don't know how I feel about that."

Walks away to take a break and runs into Diavolo. "Hey, Lord Diavolo, what are you doing?"

"... Of them hanging around me?"

"Probably."

Incredible human flared up their fear a little bit.

Milady and Solomon just have a normal conversation without interruptions.

"We'll see." Hugs all of the brothers.

They now have to drive to the manor every day to feed cats. (Finds an animal shelter for the cats, tries not to adopt one or two)

"I don't know, you're pretty annoying." Jokingly.

Goes inside to take a nap.

(Baby is sad... Oh, hi Raphael.)

#milady #obey me shall we date

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shield-maiden-of-sherwood · 1 year

Text

A Dream Deferred - PT 2

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

The Wrong Foot

My alarm goes off on my phone, which sat in my hand the entire time. I tap the power button to illuminate the screen. 10 AM and 6% charge. Fuck.

The beat of Lady Gaga's "Applause" pulses in one of my ears, thanks to only having one earbud in since the other disappeared to God knows where. I groaned as I take out my earbud and toss it onto the bed.

As I brew my coffee, I strip off my clothes that I was too tired to take off the previous night and pull on my worn bathrobe before grabbing my toiletries. As I shuffle out into the hallway, I glance warily at the bathroom door, which is closed. You've got to be fucking kidding me. Striding forward, I pound on the door with as much force as I could muster, only to be met with groans and whimpering on the other side. The poor girl was probably hugging the toilet miserably, her hair in disarray and makeup smeared as she regretted every single decision she had made since entering whatever cesspool she found Pete in.

With one more half-hearted rap on the door, I rest my head against it. "For fucks sake, Pete." I mutter before pushing away. I stride toward his apartment, pounding on his door. "Pete!" I felt my energy waning but continue to pound on the door and call his name until finally, the door opened. I was just about to knock one more but leaned too much into it. I started to fall inward but managed to catch myself, glaring accusingly at the blurry-eyed man standing before me as he leans against the door frame, his usual loose-fitting robe hanging open. I grimace. "For fucks sake, Pete!" I exclaim. "Just once, can you put some fucking clothes on?" Rubbing the remaining sleep from his eyes, he blinks at me. "Did you need something?" His eyes moved down to my bathrobe and a smirk formed. "Not what I expected but if you give me a moment, I'm game. And here I thought you didn't like me." I grimaced, pulling my robe closer around me with disgust. "Take care of your fucking friend." "Friend?" He raised a brow and I motion away toward the bathroom. "Every fucking day your little groupies are tying up the only bathroom so Yuri and I can't use it. It's inconsiderate."

He blinked once more, turning to look in the direction I pointed, frowning. "She's still here? I thought she left..."

"Seriously?" Feeling my blood boiling, I straighten. "Figure that shit out or I'm telling the landlord."

Before he can speak, I turn on my heel just as the young woman stumbles out. I stop as she glances between Pete and I before lowering her head and shuffling past us with a muttered apology before disappearing down the stairs.

"Looks like it's free now." He calls behind me. I roll my eyes and head to the bathroom, making sure to slam the door shut behind me.

* * *

Another long night at the bar and a tired shuffle off the subway to my apartment. Another night that I'm barely able to make it to my bed before collapsing onto the blankets with my phone in hand. Only this time, when I wake up, my phone is dead. I reach out to grab my pillow and pull it to me, burying my face in it as I groan.

As I left my apartment with toiletries in hand, I shuffle toward the bathroom, ready to be met by the usual sounds of vomiting, crying, whimpering or a combination of all three.Much to my surprise, the door stood open. I halt, my brows knitting together as I look toward Pete's door. I slowly move toward the bathroom as I hear a door open behind me. "Happy? It's open and ready for you." I roll my eyes and enter the bathroom and closing the door behind me. A knock sounds as I'm mid-way through brushing my teeth. "Occupied," I mutter. "I'll be done soon." I lean down to spit and when I look back up the door is cracked open with Pete peeking inside. "The fuck?!" I mutter, turning to push the door closed with my toothbrush hanging out of my mouth. "Do you fucking mind?" He puts his foot out to keep me from shutting the door fully. I glare at him . "I knew you were just brushing from the sink running." He says, "Besides, I was just coming to make sure you're happy since it wasn't occupied "as usual" as you said." I roll my eyes and continue brushing. "Yes, congratulations. You're able to complete minor requests." He pushes the door open a bit more and moves closer, resting his head against the doorframe. "Listen, just hear me out a moment, will ya?" Continuing to brush, I glare at him in the mirror. He raises his hands in surrender.

"Listen, I just wanted to come and apologize. You were right. Having my guests taking up the bathroom, even if unknowingly, was very inconsiderate and I'm sorry." He pauses and getting no response, clears his throat. "Anyways, we got off on the wrong foot so how about once you're finished, I'd like to invite you to my place so we can get together and get to know each other better. What do you say?" Leaning down into the sink, I spit the excess toothpaste into the sink and meet his gaze in the mirror. "No thanks," I mutter, cupping some water in my hand to sip it and swish it around. I bend down to spit again and grab the paper towel nearby. "I know guys like you and what "get to know one another" means and I'm not interested. Hate to break it to you but I have a gag reflex."

His brows furrow as I wipe my mouth and throw it in the bin before packing up my things. It takes him only a moment before his brows raise and he lets out a laugh. "Listen, you're cute but that's not what I meant..."

I swivel around. "Not interested." I push past him and, without waiting for him to say anything further, I disappear into my room.

#short story #creative writing #a dream deferred #Ana Hawke #hurt/comfort #enemies to friends trope #original story #fiction #enemies to lovers

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ackermanslov4r · 2 years

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Okay okay hear me out: the sprained ankle thing during female titan expedition and S/O quickly bandages it at a resting place

that's such a cool idea!! i watched the female titan part a while ago though so sorry if any of this doesn't make sense or isn't really canon,i just have a terrible memory. I also feel like this is probably one of the worst thing I've ever wrote , I'm so sorry

Y/n was in a state of such panic they seriously wondered if they weren't going to lose their mind before the end of the expedition. As usual,nothing in the expedition was going as planned,achieving this time a level so high unwanted and unexpected events it was almost laughable. A female titan had appeared out of nowhere, most of their comrades had been killed,Eren Yaeger was risking being kidnapped,and,the worst for Y/n, Levi had disappeared into the woods to try to retrieve him.

Anxiously looking around for any signs of Levi, Y/n tried to stop their mind from imagine all the worst scenarios possible : Levi laying dead in the woods ,Levi seriously injured,Levi being eaten by a titan... Not even the thought that he was,after all,Levi Ackerman,and that he could probably count on only one hand the times he'd been hurt ; not even this was enough to help their mind relax.

They were waiting for him in an area that seemed particularly calm for a place outside the walls ; though they didn't know if the lack of titans around them was because they were all in the woods,or because the scouts had been able to kill most of them. But,to Y/n,the only thing that really mattered at the moment was to be able to hear any sound that might be produced by a human,and the unexpected calm of the wood was more than welcome in this situation.

Suddenly,making their heart skip a beat,the unmistakable sound of the ODM gear could be heard ,and a few seconds later,Y/n was able to catch a glimpse of Levi. They couldn't see if he was hurt or no , but just knowing that he was alive and well enough to use his equipment made them feel relieved. He landed next to them and,with barely a look at Y/n to check that they were okay, he stiffly walked to his horse. He was limping,his face distorted as he tried his best to look as though his leg wasn't hurting like hell.

"C'mon, Y/n, we need to get back to the others." he said as he tried to mount his horse,a small groan of hurt escaping his lips as he tried to do so.

"How do you plan to do that with your leg hurt ? If we meet titans on the way,you won't be able to fight and I don't know if I'll be able to take care of them while protecting you."

Levi had opened his mouth to reply that he didn't need protection , but Y/n had already walked to him , forcing him to sit on the grass at the same time , in a maybe too violent way considering his injury. Levi's jaw was clenched,and he looked paler than usual ; but despite being hurt,he was still acting as usual and neglecting his health by pretending everything was fine.

"We don't have time for this,and you know it."

"You can't finish the expedition with your leg like this,and you know it too,Levi. Pull up your trouser's leg,please, I'm afraid I might hurt you if I do it myself."

"I'm not sure undressing me in the middle of the woods is part of the plan,Y/n , but if you insist..."

With a sigh,Levi did as he was asked to,letting Y/n see the extent of his injury. They took a deep breath ; it wasn't as bad as they thought it might be, but it was still strange and quite scary to see Levi Ackerman injured. Grabbing some bandages they always kept intertwined into their belt, they slowly begun bandaging Levi's leg,trying their best not to hurt him any further.

"I'm not a puppy,Y/n, you don't have to be this careful." he said,sounding exhausted. Y/n quickly looked at him : his head was resting against a tree,his eyes covered by his hand,his mouth slightly open as he took deep breath. It was a side of Levi they were the only one allowed to see ; the side of him that was vulnerable,hurt by everything life was putting him through,hurt by all the things he had to do and witness in order to survive. Seeing him like this made Y/n want to hug him tightly ,to reassure him,to protect and to love him even more than they already did ; but if Levi let them see him like this,it wasn't to get pity,but simply to be able to be himself for once,to let his guard down.

Tightening the bandages around Levi's leg,hoping they weren't doing it wrong , Y/n then rose up,reaching out their hand to help Levi do so. He took it ,standing up at the same time,and held it for a few more seconds than necessary, feeling the fog on his brain disappear slowly with this touch. When he let go of their hand, Y/n cupped Levi's cheeks with their hands and placed a single,gentle kiss on his forehead ,trying to pretend they didn't hear the long breath Levi was exhaling as they kissed him.

It was a moment that lasted only a few seconds , but it was enough for both of them , this small kiss containing all the things they wanted to say but didn't have the time or energy to voice. It was a kiss that said "I'm glad you're alive" , " I'm glad we're safe","I love you." Y/n then took a step back,breaking contact with Levi as he stared at them,his eyes an open book to his heart and soul,expressing a thousand of emotions and thoughts. They stared at each other for a few more seconds,forgetting where they were,what was happening,what needed to be done, only caring about the fact that they were both here and alive.

And then,silently,without sharing a word, they moved toward their horses , Y/n helping Levi mount his before going on theirs. It felt as thought they'd been under some sort of bubble and that it suddenly exploded,bringing them back to reality and their duties as soldiers. With a last glance at each other, they motioned their horses to start moving,leaving the calm of the forest for the outside world and its harshness .

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