#IVE NEVER CRIED HARDER IN MY LIFE OH GOD | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

withloveajaxx · 1 year

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for the ask game!! cinnamon, mauve, blush, fuchsia, lavender, umber, razzmatazz, safron YES <3

IVE MISSED U TOO ☹️💗 & TELL YOU EVERYTHING?? OMG OKOK (it’s mainly me being sad tho bc life is unfair)

I’ve been doing alright, the two times I moved blogs tho,, it had to do w personal problems & some people had the audacity to send in asks that they rlly shouldn’t have bc it made me so damn uncomfortable and it was not helping w my current state so I left :,) THE SECOND TIME I LEFT WAS ALSO BC OF MY PROBLEMS GETTING WORSE AND WORSE and everything was going downhill and I needed a break + people were still making me uncomfortable w their asks (turned them off before I left again) I had accidentally deleted my only moots blog which I had to replace but using the same url (@yonayie pls my layla theme was so cool I miss it) I then deleted my other blog and moved here!! away from the trolls!! and weirdos who can’t comprehend the fact that I’m a minor!!

I spent my Christmas and new years on the verge of tears, it was not fun 😭 my house started flooding on Christmas and it scared the shit out of me!!! & on new years?? i cried bc 2022 was an ass and sm happened it was terrible & we didn’t set off fireworks like we used to so that sucked :,)

school has been a PAIN. I’m a complete loner so that makes everything harder 😭 & my math teacher? literally how did he get hired he cannot teach to save his life he’s so unfair too it’s CRAZY HNGJSJWIJE the only way I get a passing grade is if I self-study and do rlly well on the end of course test in april (which is getting dangerously close im not ready) I dislike my drama teacher 👨‍🏫 I’m okay with my environmental sci teacher + history teacher theyre chill 🤞the workload is manageable so I think I’ll be able to get all of my credits most def!!

oh oh my birthday is on the 27th!! yes this friday pls im not sure if I’ll be able to do anything for it but if not it’s okay <3 (it’d be the 3rd year not celebrating it which is why I’m so chill abt it that’s so sad 😭)

wow omg that’s sm word vomit pls!! why has my life been so depressing I cannot!! i just hope this year doesn’t treat me as badly!! PRAYS 🙏

okay now ur turn TELL ME EVERYTHINGGG <33 (everything that u can ofc 💓)

STOP WAIT,,, I INSPIRE YOU??? HELP WHY DOES THAT MAKE MY DAY WTF YONA PLEASE ILYSM 💗💗

also omg that's a lot that happened in your absence,,, FIRST OF ALL, i will willingly beat up life and people for you i swear,,, those weirdos better watch out for these hands >:((. secondly, i'm sorry that school, christmas, and new year were a pain in the butt :((. i hope everything gets better for you!! and ofc if you need anyone to talk to, i'll do my best to reply mwah 🫶

AND OMG okay what's been happening in my life,,, i'll put this under a cut so ppl don't need to scroll for too long HAHDJXJSJD

OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL... COLLEGE APPLICATIONS. good god those humbled me HAHDJKDKSD LYK I AM ACTUALLY STUPID 💀 the one i recently took was so fucking hard it was not even funny,,, like they put shit i've never learned, heard of, or saw and it was HORRIBLE. i was literally guessing everything math related please pray for my future </33 HAHDJDJKD.

ALSO!! I GOT INTO KPOP MORE AGAIN HEHEHEHE. i recently went to a concert of one of my favorite groups and holy shit. i cried. like so many times. HAHDJCKDF IT WAS CRAZY GETTING TO SEE THEM IRL AND I JUST AAAAAAAAJSKCIISJD 😭😭 i'm also seeing another group next week,,, MY ULTIMATE FAVORITE ONE. and i shit you not i am not mentally or emotionally prepared to see those men up close and on stage HSJFKDKDD

also yea school was a bitch 💀 tons of freeloaders and horrible teachers but yk what,,, i got my report today and i passed so it's okay HAHSJFKKDD. also i'm graduating soon and that's kinda scary n idk how to cope but yes 😭 i'm just hoping for the best and giving it my all HSHDJKKFF

BUT THAT'S BEEN ABOUT IT FOR ME,,, HOPING 2023 IS GOOD TO US <33

also nah i'm making sure your birthday will be somewhat special <33 gonna hold a tumblr party n give u a lil something I SWEAR 💗

#whispers from the wind #summoned yona #THAT WAS LONG HAJFKCKDKF #BUT YES #ILY BAE MWAH

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smol-bean-buchanan · 3 years

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“what is grief, if not love persevering?”

#IVE NEVER CRIED HARDER IN MY LIFE OH GOD #lies yes i have #but shit still HURT #avengers #marvel #mcu #the avengers #marvel studios #wanda maximoff #the scarlet witch #scarlet witch #wandavision #vision #the vision

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shhh-no-ones-home · 3 years

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heavy cross to bear* matt Murdock x reader

+++++++++ Request @juniebugg: reader and Matt are in a very serious relationship (could be married) but then when reader actually sees Elektra, whom she already knew about but has never seen because she was "dead," she gets really insecure and tells matt that he deserves better or something and he reassures her. Angst and smut"

hopefully its not too ooc this is my first MM smut so i hope you like! and thanks again for the request!!

* - you asked for smut and that really is all this is lol, little bit of story.

Song: wasted time by skid row

tag list: @cynic-spirit @juniebugg

+++++++++

i sat at the table sipping coffee and thinking. it was almost nine at night and i knew i should be getting ready for bed but my body wasn't quite ready to move yet. when matt disappeared into our bedroom i figured he'd be changing into daredevil for the millionth time but when he emerged in his pajamas i was a little surprised. and then it hit me. maybe he knew. hell, he always knew.

but maybe it was just that something was off, that i needed him to say it again, to stay with me and make sure i knew. but then there was her. she had showed up out of nowhere and took me off guard more than anything else up until now. one more doubt at the forefront of my mind. that i didnt believe him when he said he loved me despite being married for a year, despite having dated for three before hand, and despite everything he has done to keep me safe. because he loved her first and it felt like the biggest lie ive ever been told. even after a couple days of sitting on it and hoping it would go away. still it was there. in the back of my mind:

"matt i dont know if i can do this anymore."

his head tilted to the side and he looked confused.

"do what?"

he asked almost worried, moving slowly to the table and sitting.

"this, us. i just- you deserve so much more, so much better than- well, than me."

he was quick to scoot his chair closer to my own, his hand coming to rest on mine.

"hey, dont even say that. what would make you think i would want anyone but you?"

now he absolutely sounded worried.

"i saw her matt."

"saw who?"

i shook my head.

"that woman, your ex. you said she was gone."

"elektra?"

he sounded a little broken.

"shes something else ill give her that much. i see why you like her."

he swallowed hard.

"elektra is dead."

i shook my head.

"then why was she here? looking for you. saying your name with such... god i dont even know how to explain it. matthew."

i repeated it exactly as she had said it and it felt wrong. like i was acting. saying someone elses emotions and intentions. they were no longer mine. or at least it seemed like it. There was a long silence and I just stared at him.

"She was here?"

There was hope in his voice and I figured that was it. It made me angrier than it probably should've and my only response was to stand and walk away. I got half way across the living room before he caught my arm.

"Y/n, that doesn't matter. I-"

He swallowed hard and I tried to study his face.

"You mean more to me than anything. Yes I love, loved, her but I married you. I chose you. I want nothing more than to be with you. For better or for worse remember?"

He bargained and I sighed heavily.

"How can I be sure you mean that? What if she comes back? again."

He shook his head, taking both my hands in his and stepping closer to me.

"Let me prove it to you. If she really is back then it doesn't matter. I'm with you, I love you, and I'll always chose you."

I closed my eyes, feeling him get closer and closer until his forehead was against my own.

"We belong together."

He whispered before kissing me gently.

"I only want you."

He kept just as quiet, kissing next to my mouth once, then twice, making his way across my cheek and to my jaw.

"Matt."

I breathed out and he paused. I licked my lips lightly before opening my eyes and looking at him. He really did seem like he meant it. He was trying so hard to keep it together.

"I can't lose you."

He sounded so broken.

"Do it."

He drew his brows and I brought my hand up to touch his face gently. We were still so close I could feel his breath fanning my neck.

"Show me you mean it."

I said softly and his Expression changed.

"I love you so much."

He said before kissing me harshly, releasing my hands and pressing his fingertips into my hips. I hummed against him as he walked us backwards. We stumbled along as he pulled my shirt up, tossing it to the floor.

"Matt."

I moaned, pulling his shirt up next. It was gone in a second and he was back, kissing me and moving quickly to get my pants down. His hands roamed my body just as much as mine roamed his. I traced my fingers slowly up his torso, grazing over his scars before wrapping my arms around his neck. I gasped when he picked me up. There was a soft laugh that escaped him and I was relieved to see him smile even if it was just a second. He knew it would take some convincing and he was right. I needed to know he meant it. That Elektra wasn't gonna be a problem.

"I need you."

He whispered again, laying me gently on the bed and situating himself between my legs.

"I need you to know how much I mean it."

He kissed my jaw slowly, then down my neck and across my collar bone.

"Prove it."

I challenged, my breath hitching in my throat as he ripped my bra open from the front, his lips grazing my nipple before taking it into his mouth. He hummed against me, his finger tips down my torso and into my panties.

"Matt."

I moaned, dropping my head back as he ran his finger up me and against my clit. i closed my eyes, pushing my head back into the bed as he stroked me, kissing his way back up to my exposed neck.

"i love you."

he repeated against the heat of my skin. when he resituated i could feel how hard he was already.

"i need you."

i breathed out, pressing my hips up into him as he continued to finger me.

"matt."

i whined, him removing his hand long enough to pull my panties down. i looked up to him with lust blown eyes, watching him intently as he got rid of his boxers.

"youre still okay with this?"

he asked and i nodded quickly, pulling his face to mine and kissing him deeply.

"please."

i moaned, inhaling deeply before he kissed me again, pushing his hips into mine. my breath caught in my throat as he pushed all the way into me, catching my bottom lip between his teeth as my mouth hung open.

"i wanna hear you."

he said softly.

"feel you."

he moaned against my shoulder, dropping his head to the crook of my neck as he placed his large palm over my heart. it was already banging at my rib cage begging to be let out but i could have swore it did when he started moving. he pulled out of me slowly before slamming back into me and i moaned so loudly i was surprised at myself. and then he did it again and again, getting a good rhythm. it was long, and hard. nothing like our nights prior, even on his worst of days when he's frustrated and in need of release. no this was different. purposeful.

"matt."

i held onto him for dear life, pressing my fingertips into his shoulder blades as he continued to pound into me in long drawn out strokes.

"tell me. tell me what you want."

he grunted out, trying to sound as steady as possible.

"i want you. god i only want you!"

i cried out as he thrusted upward harshly. then he did it again and i saw stars, my mouth falling open as i moaned.

"thats my girl."

he praised, trailing his hand down my torso and pressing his finger in circles against my clit.

"youre almost there."

he coaxed, building me up. i could feel the tightness building, pressing my hips up to meet him as he kept his pace.

"im so close."

i panted, pressing my finger tips harder into his bicep as i gripped onto him.

"do it, do it for me, let go."

he said softly and i snapped. my orgasm racked through my body and my vision went blurry. i was breathing hard as he rode out my high, still chasing his own.

"im almost there."

he said, squeezing his eyes shut. he moved to pull out but i wrapped my legs tightly around his waist.

"y/n?"

he asked surprised and i leaned up to kiss him.

"just do it."

i said, pressing a hard kiss to his neck. he kept going, knuckles going white against the bedsheets as he came in me with a loud groan.

"oh my god."

he panted, slowing his thrusts.

"i love you oh my god."

he said, dropping to his forearms, trying not to put his full weight on top of me. my legs were still wrapped tightly around his torso as we both calmed down.

"i love you too matty."

i said softly, feeling him nuzzle his nose against my neck. it made me giggle a little bit and i could feel him smiling against my skin before kissing it gently.

"you have no idea how relieved i am to hear that. youre the only one for me. always will be."

i sighed softly in content, kissing his forehead and dropping my legs.

"im sorry i doubted you. i just. i need a reminder every once in a while i guess."

he kissed my chest before pulling out of me and dropping to the bed beside me.

"i will give you as many reminders as you need, as long as we both shall live."

he said, taking my hand in his and kissing the back of it.

"thank you matt. thank you for everything. especially knocking some sense into me."

he raised a brow, a half smirk on his face and i immediately wondered what was going through that mind of his.

"after tonight sense might not be the only thing i knocked into you."

i couldnt help but laugh, him matching it as i rolled onto his chest.

"i know you want nothing more than to tell the father we're finally starting that catholic family with lots and lots of beautiful babies but i still have my iud."

he let out a short laugh sigh before i kissed him quickly.

"but that doesnt mean i couldnt be persuaded into getting it taken out."

he raised an intrigued brow.

"oh?"

i laughed lightly.

"ill think about it. right now i just wanna live in this moment with you."

i said the last bit through a yawn, resting my head against his chest and hearing his heartbeat.

"i love you."

he whispered, earning a hum from me as i dozed off.

#wattpad #x reader #337 #matt murdock #smut #daredevil #marvel #imagines #one shots #requests

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meltwonu · 3 years

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11. “I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

35. “Bite me.”

“If you insist.”

notes; panther-hybrid!minghao, bunny!reader, the slightest whisper of jealous!minghao, heat fuckin, breeding!kink, oral(fem receiving), dirty talk, mentions of breath play, spitplay! Also this is so random but ive noticed this trend where sometimes when im posting sth for the day, THAT member will also be posting on like twt or doing a vlive or sth and i know its like theres only so many members! And im like YEA but its funny to me bc its like theyre saying ‘hey u stop that sinful content rn and enjoy this wholesome one instead’ and im just like hahah nope 😈💕 all I do is sin babyyyyyy 🤣 anyway thank you for requesting! enjoy! 💕

“Fuck, this can’t b-be happening…! Ugh!”

You try redialing Chan’s number, only for it to go straight to his voicemail after only a few rings again. A soft cry spills from your lips as you pace around your living room; palms clammy around the small device.

Your heat had come early and your usual heat partner, Chan, seemed to be either ignoring your calls or way too busy to notice you’d already phoned him five times. “F-fuck, please…” You attempt to dial him one more time, biting your lip and rubbing your already slick thighs together as you listen to the phone ringing.

‘I’m sorry, the number you have dialed--’

“Damn it!”

Minghao lives in the apartment next to you.

The quiet panther hybrid kept to himself most of the time and the only real times you’d seen him, he’d briefly smiled at you in passing whenever you’d both be in the hallways or elevator. You didn’t really know much about him in all honesty, but in the moment, you didn’t really care.

You storm out of your apartment, nervousness wracking your body as you stop right in front of his door. Raising a hand to knock, you momentarily think about your options.

A. Go back to your apartment and hope Chan picks up eventually

B. Ask Minghao this one time for the biggest favour of your life.

“Fuck it.”

Before you can change your mind, you quickly knock on his door, yelling a small ‘it’s me!’ as if Minghao would know. The door opens after a few tense seconds; Minghao’s tall form coming into view when he opens it wide enough.

“Who--oh.”

A look of realization washes over him and he’s quick to smell you in the few moments that the two of you just seem to stare at each other. “What exactly are you doing in front of my door like this?” He drawls.

Minghao doesn’t really anticipate the effect it has on you, but you quietly whimper in return, thighs clamped tight and body shivering at the dominating aura that the panther hybrid already exudes.

“Please… I--my h-heat partner is--isn’t responding and I… Please b-breed me… I can’t--can’t wait any l-long and it--it h-hurts...”

Minghao raises an eyebrow as he leans against the door; sharp eyes fixating on your body that won’t stand still.

“Get inside, right now.”

Your fingertips tangle into Minghao’s hair as he eats you out; careful of his sleek yet fluffy black ears that protrude from his mess of hair.

Loud cries spill from you when he dips his tongue into your wet entrance before dragging it back up to your clit, teasing you as he takes his time.

“Fu--fuck, Minghao! More, more!”

“I didn’t know you were so sensitive.” He teases; lips easing into a smirk before he sucks your clit into his mouth. You let out a loud garbled moan as your entire body trembles with his touch. “I’m, ah, m-my heat…” You trail off, unsure of where you were even going with your sentence when Minghao flattens his tongue and drags it through your soaking folds. “Oh god, I--I can’t--!”

Before you can even stop yourself, you’re cumming on his tongue; fingers tightening in his messy locks and hips raising off of the bed as you grind against his flattened tongue. “Minghao, Minghao, Minghao!” The pleasure continues to wash over you even when he shakes your fingers loose from his hair and he sits up.

“You’re cute, y’know.” He smirks, lips coated in your wetness. “Just a cute ‘lil bunny getting her pussy eaten out in a panther’s bed. Aren’t you scared? I could eat you up right now, sweetheart.” His tone is teasing; eyes glimmering with mischief when your teary eyes meet his.

“Bite me. S-since, you’re so, ah, big ‘n b-bad…” You gulp as you watch him lean over you, suddenly feeling small underneath him.

“If you insist.”

Minghao has never really helped anyone through their heat.

But he’s surely heard you go through yours plenty of times.

“Oh--oh, Minghao! H--harder! Please, f-fuck me harder!” Your nails dig into his bed sheets, drool dripping from your lips as he fucks you from behind.

“Fuck, you’re so loud.” He chuckles, “Do you know how loud you are, bun? When you’re getting fucked.”

Your cheeks burn hot at his question, “H-huh…?” Minghao stops his thrusts for a second, grinding against you as you moan loudly in response. His chest meets your back as he leans over you; peppering gentle kisses along your shoulder blades before nipping at your skin. The small action has goosebumps rising on your skin almost immediately as you bite your lips to hold in your noises.

“The walls aren’t soundproof, y’know. I can hear all your cute ‘lil moans and cries whenever you’re going through your heat. I can hear how rough you like to take it and how you beg and beg and beg for more.” Minghao pauses, smirking against your skin when you clench around his cock. “The way I’m fucking you is nothing compared to how you really like it, right, bun? I hear the things you’ve said to that heat partner of yours. The walls are just so thin~” Gulping, you wait for him to continue, unable to deny the way you seem to get wetter and wetter the more he talks.

“You beg whoever it is to fill you up with cum, over and over, and all night too. And I hear the way you always tell them to be rougher with you, to choke you and spit in your cute ‘lil mouth, but do they ever give it to you?”

“N-no…”

Minghao grins, kissing your skin one last time before he straightens his back and starts fucking you at a much quicker pace. He wraps his fingers around your small fluffy tail at the small of your back, tugging on it lightly as you cry out his name. “That’s right, bun~ You just need someone like me who’ll put you in your place, right? Like the good ‘lil bunny you are.”

Garbled noises spill from your lips as he talks and you can already feel yourself on the brink of another orgasm once he starts to angle his thrusts to hit your g-spot. “Ngh, M--Minghao, fuck, ah, r-right there! More, p-please!” You move your hips in tandem with his; frenzied movements letting the panther hybrid that you were close to cumming again.

“Your cute ‘lil cunt is so fuckin’ tight and warm around my cock. Fuck, I could get used to you, bun. You should come see me more often~” Minghao licks his lips as his fingers continue to play with your tail; eyes trained on the way your body shivers underneath him. “You’re scared of me but you want me to fuck you all day, don’t you? Breed your hot ‘lil pussy until you’re full of my cum. But even then you’d still be begging me for more.”

He lets go of your tail, instead reaching around your body until his fingertips are on your clit.

“Cum for me bun, let me feel how tight you get around my cock.”

A high pitched whine is all you can manage when you cum on his command; eyes clamped shut as the pleasure washes over you. You let out a choked sob in the midst of your high, already itching to get to another orgasm.

Minghao opts to grind against you as you ride out your pleasure and he can’t help but grin at the way you keep trying to fuck yourself on his cock.

Your stuttered breaths and whines are the only noise in the room when Minghao draws his hips back; eyes fixated on his cock that’s covered in your wetness when he pulls out. He gently maneuvers you onto your back as you groan.

“Don’t tell me you’re tired already, bun? I still haven’t bred your cute ‘lil cunt. Don’t you want me to fill you up with cum? Get you nice ‘n full like you want?”

Your bleary eyes blink up at him, shaky fingertips reaching down to your soaking folds. Licking your lips, you spread yourself for him, letting him see how much wetter you were getting with each passing second. He raises a brow at you, noting the lust that pools in your eyes.

“Hurry and b-breed me then, M--Minghao… I wanna, ah, feel you c-cumming too..”

The panther hybrid grins; eyes twinkling with playfulness as he positions himself at your entrance.

“Don’t mind if I do, bun~”

#minghao smut #the8 smut #svt smut #seventeen smut #hybrid!svt #hybrid!seventeen #hybrid!the8 #the8 scenarios #the8 imagines #minghao imagines #minghao scenarios #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #svt scenarios #minghao #the8 #🍚 anon

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m318x2 · 2 years

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does anyone else just. not really grieve? like ive had exactly two deaths in my life that actually made me cry at all and those were both pet deaths, but besides those ive had a lot more pet deaths that i felt next to nothing over even though i loved the pets. just like, oh man. damn that sucks. oh well guess its one less thing for me to worry about now. i think i cried maybe once over my great grandma who passed when i was like 5, not right after though. it was like a year later when i was playing with this little wind up merry go round she left me and my sibling and idk i just started crying thinking that i miss her. weird because i hardly even remember her, i remember her apartment more than her. and we werent really close. and i found out years later she was a tad racist. but i mean, she was white and ancient so, connect the dots i guess. but i mean thats still fucked up and not an excuse, she was around the same generation as betty white and betty white was doing ok. rip.

idk its not even like im happy that people/pets die or that i dont care about them its just like, i cant seem to conjur up these big dramatic sad feelings around death. like with those pet deaths it was just one solid cry and then i was ok, and one of those was bc i was really young and it was my first pet gerbil that i found dead hunched over his food bowl shortly after his mate, my siblings gerbil, had died. and the other one was my first family dog that we had since i was in kindergarten and we had to euthanize her bc she had horrible arthritis and kidney stones/kidney failure and was so old and in so much pain. but those were the only two that really got me and it wasnt a long process? like i was sad for a day or two and then was fine.

like i cant tell if im just repressing grief now because 90% of the time ive just been like. not bothered at all. i felt nothing at my grandpas funeral. i mean i was never close with him, he had a brain aneurysm before i was born that gave him brain damage and made him kind of a grump for the last portion of his life. like of course i didnt cry, but it was really like. i didnt feel ANYTHING about his death. i actually had to cover my mouth to keep from fucking LAUGHING during his funeral because this guy was singing that cheesy jesus song thats like "i can only imagine what heaven is like" and it was beautiful and sentimental but MY GOD the guy just. he went so balls deep in this performance that i could not believe he was doing it unironically. and also during the entire service i was sitting in front of this guy who has fucking LUNG CANCER and he was just coughing non stop and for some reason that made me have to try even harder not to laugh, AND on top of all that my grandma (wife to my late grandpa) had a massive bloody nose right before the service and had two tissues shoved up her nostrils the entire time. so. yeah i'm the devil

yknow i think maybe its just because i think about death so much. whenever i get a new pet i google the life span of the animal and keep track of how long i have left with them before they die so im usually very mentally prepared when it happens. and with people, i mean i think about my parents dying all the time because i know if i dont kms first they'll probably die in my lifetime. so maybe that mental preparation will help. god i hope so, i love my parents.

maybe its also that i havent had a human that was like really, really close to me die. that would probably crush me.

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whump-town · 3 years

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Moments Too Late

In honor of spending too much time on my own Universities quad because of the nice weather (which is promptly going to shit because it’s going to be cold again Monday) and because of @olivinesea college AU I give you...

The false promises of March lure them from the comforts of their dorms. Each morning now a little warmer, the sun beaming down forgiving and loving as it’s not the quiet time for it to swelter down great beams of heat that melts clothes off the skin off muscles off bones. Today it heats the ground, enough to encourage them out of their shoes to feel the still slightly chilled nature of the not yet up to pace earth beneath their toes.

Derek laughs deeply, unabashedly as he chases Spencer along the grass. Seemingly all the more pleased the louder he can get the younger boy to screech in terror as Derek pins his thin arms in contorted positions as they wrestle. The only mediation, the only warnings they get, comes when JJ looks up from her textbook. More often to tuck strands of hair behind her ears than to break from her reading. “Don’t hurt him, Derek,” she warns. Not because she’s afraid he will but to continue these halves of theirs. Where she stands to allow Spencer this idea that she will step in if need be.

“The winter,” Emily says softly. “I think the winter depresses him.” She’s laid out on the jacket Dave spread out on the ground before them. He’d given a little “hmph” of disapproval but not altogether displeasure when she laid herself out on it. Her legs break out in rashes and the shorts she’d chosen to wear leave her too exposed to rest comfortably in it.

Dave rests back on his elbows, chest lifted to take in all the rays of the sun that he can. He cracks open his left eye, scowling over at her as he processes what she’s just said. The raised eyebrow of doubt -- of further need for contemplation and clarification on the generally just vague statement she’s just made -- goes unnoticed as she watches Aaron. Dave’s eyes follow suit and while he might not understand the full complexity of what it is that she means, he might be able to gather what she sees.

“Winter depression?” he whispers. There’s no way that Aaron could be anything but… well, Aaron. By definition, that means dark and spirally with a complexity not a single soul, at least Dave suspects, knows him in his entirety. They are all bound by bits and pieces, half-truths that they have put together like children and those little cheap boxes that are covered half-hazardously in Elmer’s glue and macaroni shells.

Aaron lays out on his back, eyes closed and more relaxed than they’ve ever seen him. Shoulders sinking into the ground and limbs open. His ankles set aligned with his hips and shoulders. Palms up, a sunflower turned to face the warmth. He can feel the heat crawling up his body, nearly too warm with the sweater on his arms and the jeans that don’t quite fit the length of his legs. Softly, he clears his throat doesn’t even bother cracking an eye open as he says, “the word the two of you are looking for is seasonal and I’m not, nor have I ever been, depressed.”

Though Dave shoots Emily a look that says it all -- leave resting snakes to lie, don’t poke a bear you’re not ready to kill -- she sits up and observes him further. Letting his head thud against the dirt, Dave lets her poke that hornet’s nest knowing he’ll be the one to soothe Aaron’s buzzing anxiety and pull the stingers from Emily’s skin.

“You locked yourself in your room for two weeks,” she reminds him. As if she wasn’t the dead girl in the freshmen dormitory wrapped around a toilet and sent to the emergency room where they know her by name. Where they take turns picking her up in the lobby, waving to the doctor’s as she signs out against their advice with her arm still bleeding where she pulled too harshly, too angrily at the IV snaked under her flesh. Who is she to point fingers at his oddity? At least he can go a weekend without visiting the bottle.

The two weeks in question were from hell. He’d been with them Tuesday, present in a way that they reflected on as oddly so. They also thought he’d killed himself, a theory started by JJ too good to pass up so their application might be flawed. For two weeks, there was nothing but radio silence from him. His dorm was empty and they couldn’t even find him in the library, a place they more often than not have to drag him from. He didn’t show up until Thursday, so he was actually gone for sixteen-days, and looked like maybe he had died and dragged his corpse all the way back to them.

Not yet adults and very much the children raised by their parent’s hips, how could they not think in the extremes that they have known their entire lives? Too young to know the complexities of the life ahead of them but too damaged to ignore it. JJ knows what her sister did and Derek could feel his father’s blood hardening on his hands, could understand and see what JJ was telling them.

One. Talking about wanting to die or to kill oneself; Eyes closed and back sinking further and further into the blankets behind him. Nearly unaware of how close they all are, of the hand on his knee or the shoulder on his hip. “It would be nice… I think,” he whispers. “No stress. No obligations. Like sleeping.” He doesn’t sleep well.

Two. Talking about feeling hopeless or having no purpose; The warmth of his eyes has frozen over, the helpless desperation that he feels bubbling over. The carefully orchestrated faux look he’s spent years building burns at his feet. Leaving behind the broken child that he is at his core, searching for something that makes sense. For a father that loves him and a mother that protects him. “It doesn’t matter what I do,” he rasps. “Nothing matters because all I do is fuck everything up.”

Three. Sleeping too little or too much; He pulls from the hand that JJ gently reaches out with, flinching. “I -- I just don’t sleep well,” he defends, avoiding her eyes when she tries to look harder. To really see how pale he’s become. “It’s just -- just insomnia.” Nightmares are what he means but twenty-year-olds shouldn’t have that kind of horror built up into them so he lies. It’s easier that way.

Three strikes. You’re out but… they just couldn’t find a body. Dave had told them about how old dogs will drag themselves away from their homes to die and Spencer had cried for hours after that. Maybe that seemed a little too on the nose, Aaron being compared to an old beaten dog. They yelled at Dave out of fear but knew he was right.

Then Aaron just showed up to campus Thursday, a lump of human underneath his comforter as if he’d been there the entire time.

“We couldn’t find you for two weeks, Aaron. That’s -- That’s crazy, even for you.”

JJ looks up from her textbook, sees Dave, and looks back down. She’s certain that they’re about to have to deal with one of Emily and Aaron’s nuclear fallouts. With hindsight, she can see how that’s been festering up. Every semester they have one of these martial spats, bad enough to leave Spencer (who loves nothing more than to be one of their shadows) afraid to be left alone with either for a few days. Rightfully so, Aaron gets a little dark and Emily never pulls her punches, it’s a scary thing to witness.

“My father died.” The group freezes for a moment. Spencer and Derek’s wrestling had died down, both watching Aaron and Emily. He’s sitting up now, forcing her to look him in the eyes. “My father died and it wasn’t any of your business.” Emily opens her mouth but he’s shaking, having opened something not so easily contained. He doesn’t know how to put it all back. “Sean called, what was I to do, Emily? Would you prefer I tell a scared nine-year-old to fuck off?”

He wanted to. Despite how scared Sean had been, how small he’d sounded sucking in little sobs. Aaron lost his father ten years ago but he couldn’t tell Sean that. He’d gone out of obligation and the strange weighted sense that this might be the last time he truly sees his little brother. And he couldn’t know it yet but it’d be the last time he saw his mother too.

“I wasn’t out mixing my name up with Jack Daniels.”

Well… it was only a matter of time.

She stands first, fist clenched at her sides. “We’re your friends, we would have been there. You’re just too much of an insufferable bastard to notice!” She seethes good and properly angry. Misplaced but firm. “If you spent half as much time locking yourself away, pretending to be someone you’re not--” She pulls in a deep shuttering breathe. “Everyone knows, you know? All of us. We’ve seen the scars.” She’s not sure if it’s what she wanted but he flinches as though he’s been hit and that’s not enough to stop her. “Do you think we wouldn’t notice the flinching? That we can’t touch you? You’re not as good as you think you are, Aaron, and we’re not stupid.”

Silence.

Emily always knows what to say.

“Ex-Excuse me.”

Penelope comes up just as Aaron’s stumbling to his feet, pale as a ghost and trembling. He nearly runs into her. “What’s--” she’s brought them snacks. Little pieces of fruit she’s painstakingly cut for this little snack. “What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head and mumbles another “excuse me” and tears past her.

Penelope looks hopelessly at them, confused and hurt. She turns, watching Aaron stagger and wipe furiously at his eyes. “What… What did you do?” She looks back and forth, settling on Emily. Penelope watches tears gather in Emily’s eyes, her lower lip trembling.

“Oh God,” she whispers, hands raising to her lips. Emily looks over at Dave and to JJ, Spencer, and Derek still watching in terror. Her own words coming back to her, funneling through moments too late. “Oh God, what did I do?”

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #derek morgan #jennifer jareau #spencer reid #david rossi #penelope garcia

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xiaomomowrites · 3 years

Text

act IV

Genshin Impact | TartaLi/ZhongChi

Summary: It was the way Zhongli’s warm amber eyes suddenly were not as warm anymore. The way he looked at him with a piercing look, void of remorse, as he handed his gnosis over willingly to go on a whole tangent about how his “duties were done”. It was the way he turned and treated the precious traveler with the same amount of kindness and gentleness the Childe had received the previous night, with such ease; it was a look he thought was reserved only for him. It was the way he was able to turn back around, stare at Childe with an unreadable gaze, and walk away without so much of a goodbye.

Or, Zhongli and Childe finally have the conversation that was long overdue.

A/N: I’ve been playing genshin for roughly four or five months now, I can’t remember exactly when I started, but boy do I love it. No you don’t understand, I’m obsessed. But these two have been taking up room in my big brain, so I wanted to write for them. It’s been awhile since I wrote for pleasure so hopefully this is satisfactory :,) and tomorrow, I’m back to school, so I thought I’d enjoy my last day of freedom and post this today. Fun fact, I’m minoring in professional writing, so I’m hoping that it’ll improve my writing skills when I write for luxury, too. Anyway, this was a really fun piece for me to write and I hope you share the sentiment.

Also thank you guys for being so patient with our inactivity and just being such a chill audience to write for. Other social media platforms have become so...demanding haha. I appreciate y’all! Feel free to message us or talk to us about whatever :) -u.n.

Find this on AO3!

Spoiler alert: this fic does contain spoilers for the A New Star Approaches arc, so read at your own risk.

—

In Childe’s line of work, he is no stranger to betrayal.

Working as a Fatui Harbinger meant an unhealthy amount of fighting, betraying one person, deceiving another, and then on occasion, getting betrayed himself. It was all in a days’ work. Childe knew he would just have to roll out his neck and move on. He’s done it before, he can do it again. He would think that, after nineteen years of this grueling rinse and repeat, that he’d be able to tolerate a lot in the field. In fact, working with that wretched colleague of his, Scaramouche, and serving the Tsaritsa with a loyalty unmatched explicitly calls for the patience and tolerance of a saint.

Alas, Childe is the furthest thing from a saint. And still, Zhongli’s betrayal stung the most out of anyone else’s, the reason still unbeknownst to him. He tells himself that it’s because he had actually befriended the other man. That, unlike his other missions, he developed more of a friendship with Zhongli than he has with anyone else in the past. Not to mention how he really thought he’d find the gnosis, in all its golden glory, seated deep within the Exuvia, and not within his friend.

Which is why after he watches Zhongli hand over his precious gnosis to Signora of all people, Childe makes haste to return to the inn he had been staying at to furiously pack his things and leave first thing in the morning. Seeing Signora in Liyue so close to Zhongli had triggered a deep seated feeling of possessiveness over him and the city. Liyue was his territory, as far as he was concerned. It was assigned to him by the Tsaritsa and no one else. And yet, despite his unspoken possession over Liyue, its people turned against him and viewed him as the enemy. As if Childe didn’t already know that. As if he hadn’t already grown up with a layered villain complex, subconsciously looking for a fool with a hero complex to match him. Then entered Zhongli, making himself at home in Childe’s life, and he was immediately enamouring the Harbinger.

Screw Liyue.

Screw all their traditions, the stupid glaze lilies, the delicious cuisine, the obvious livelihood that fills the streets in stark contrast to his own icy hometown, screw all those goddamn unnecessary mountains, that fish market with that abhorrent smell he gradually got used to, and screw Rex Lapis. Screw Zhongli, that handsome bastard, for stringing him along like his plaything the entire time.

Childe knows, he gets it, that Zhongli simply did what he had to do because it was best for his people. And what other way for the oldest of the seven to go, if not for a grand finale? And yes, Childe admits, luring out Osial was a stupid move, but it certainly served its purpose for testing the strength of Liyue and its defenders.

Zhongli and Signora knew he would do something stupid and reckless as soon as he caught wind of the Exuvia serving as a decoy. They knew, and they played the game so well, that Childe really thought he was the mastermind puppeteering the whole show.

What a fool he was made out to be.

Childe aggressively shoves blazer after blazer into his travel duffel, angry, pathetic tears pooling at the corners of his eyes without his consent. He sniffs angrily and swipes at his cheek as soon as the first tear falls.

Fuck this, he’s not crying over a god, he still has some dignity.

But still. Pride aside, it hurt. And it wasn’t even necessarily the deceit that hurt the most. He’s dealt with that previously. It was… more personal. More of an internal struggle than an external issue. Childe truly hates those the most. At least he can shove his fist through any external problem, but he can’t exactly do the same with his feelings, or whatever they’re called.

It was the way Zhongli’s warm amber eyes suddenly were not as warm anymore. The way he looked at him with a piercing look, void of remorse, as he handed his gnosis over willingly to go on a whole spiel about how his “duties were done”. It was the way he turned and treated the precious traveler with the same amount of kindness and gentleness the Childe had received the previous night, with such ease; it was a look he thought was reserved only for him. It was the way he was able to turn back around, stare at Childe with an unreadable gaze, and walk away without so much of a goodbye.

The same eyes that gazed at him with such affection and kindness were suddenly replaced with the eyes of a soldier. And it was only then that Childe fully realized the force he was reckoning with. Zhongli was a withered god who lived too long for his own good. A powerful deity that held the ability to shake the ground with a look; he who had been humbled by time and his sharp edges eroded by the millions of faces that passed him. Simply put, Childe was just another one of those faces. And again, he understood. If he lived for six thousand years, he wouldn’t want to be alive after the first hundred.

It was the duality that dug the blade deeper into his already bleeding chest. He felt used.

“I’ve enjoyed the time we’ve spent together, Childe,” Zhongli had said to him on a warm Liyuen night, “a friend of mine, a long time ago, told me that I was… bad at connecting with people. Emotionally stunted, is what she called me. And she is correct, as I have definitely struggled with making connections in the past. But with you… it’s different. It’s easy.

Childe is thankful for the discretion that night provides him; Zhongli would have easily spotted the blush spreading across his pale cheeks had it been daytime.

“So you had trouble making a couple friends, so what?” The ginger shrugs, “I wasn’t the best at making friends, either. My mom always said I was too aggressive. Apparently that’s not such an appealing trait, after all.”

Zhongli chuckles, a beautiful sound. “It was a bit deeper than that, I’m afraid. Understanding the complexity of another’s emotions was always difficult for me, whereas she… she was loved by everyone. Adored by the youngest of fawns to the oldest of horses. It came so naturally to her. I was the opposite. Not that everyone hated me, no, people just had a harder time getting close to me. Which is why, upon meeting you, I was shocked to find that we clicked so well. Befriending you was as easy as breathing air.”

Oh, Archons, help him.

“And,” Zhongli continues, as if he hadn’t already wrecked the man six ways to hell and back, “I must sincerely thank you for indulging me once again.” The deity glances down at the bag full of antique trinkets in his lap. Childe’s lips turn upward into one of his more genuine, rare smiles.

“What’s with you tonight?” Childe responds, and Zhongli looks at him questioningly , “I mean, you never had a problem with me spoiling you rotten before. You’ve never even acknowledged it. Why start now?”

Zhongli tears his gaze away from the Harbinger.

“And,” the ginger continues, “it almost sounds like you’re saying goodbye.”

Zhongli smiles at him then. He wore a kind look on his face, eyes so impossibly warm that it reminded him of his grandmother’s pirozhki. Hot and steaming from the center, melting on his tongue, dissolving deliciously in his mouth and defrosting his entire body. His smile felt like it wrapped itself around his chest and squeezed the best way possible, fitting him back together in places Childe didn’t even realize he had broken.

“What makes you say that?”

Oh, Childe is pissed.

Fuck tomorrow morning, Childe is leaving tonight.

The memories of last night crash over him not unlike a tidal wave and suddenly, he’s drowning. Filled out the brim with a familiar rage burning through his chest and searing his finger tips, his legs, his fucking toes.

He stands abruptly when he realizes he’s been sitting and resumes his packing. It doesn’t take very long after that. A couple toiletries get shoved into the side pockets, his vision is hooked back onto his hip, and his mask is slid into its’ usual spot on his head. He looks at himself in the mirror on the way out and scowls at the way his hair looks more disheveled than usual. Red rims his dulled blue eyes, forcing him to accept that maybe he cried more than he’d like to admit. Whatever.

He swings the door open and-

“Childe,” lo and behold, Zhongli stands in his fucking doorway, “I’d like to talk to you, if that’s alright.” The man looks slightly disheveled. He’s a little out of breath, Childe notices, like he ran up those ridiculous flights of stairs to get to his room- which, by the way, he never disclosed that information with him.

The man in question huffs a laugh. “It’s not.”

He makes a move to brush past him, but is stopped by an unreasonably strong grip around his bicep.

“Tartaglia,” he pleads, “please.”

Childe snatches his arm back and spits, “don’t call me that.”

He retreats back into his room anyway, hearing Zhongli close the door behind him. He dumps the bag back onto his bed and curses himself for not leaving a millisecond earlier.

“You’re angry with me.” Zhongli starts, face as unreadable as ever.

“The sky is blue. Snezhnaya is cold. Are we still stating the obvious here?” He’s too angry to carefully choose his words. Too hurt to slip on his pleasant facade.

“Tartaglia,” he presses, and Childe really hates how his name sounds on his tongue, “I truly am sorry for the way things had to go. It was not in my intentions to… hurt you to the degree in which you feel. I simply was upholding the end of my contract and doing what was best for my people. I implore you to believe that making you feel used was not my main objective.“

Oh god, his apology sounds so robotic.

“So you’re aware that what you did was a little fucked up.”

“Yes.”

“And you’re aware that almost the entirety of Liyue places the blame on me.”

“Yes.”

Well, shit. “Good talk, Zhongli-xiansheng. If you’ll excuse me, I must begin my trip home.”

He stomps toward the door only to be stopped once again. Archons, if Childe had any motivation left, he most certainly would challenge him to a spar. The ginger huffs, and looks to the heavens in a silent plea for patience.

“Tartaglia, please, I’m not finished-“

“Yeah, well I am.” Their eyes lock. Blue meets gold in a hostile hold, refusing to break. “The second you handed your gnosis over, my business here was done. Whatever… relationship we had is done. You were my consultant and was a Harbinger here for business. A Harbinger that you obviously used for your disposal. So now that that’s over and done with, I really need to report to Tsaritsa, lest she have my head on a silver platter-“

“I spoke with Tsaritsa already.” Zhongli cuts in, his grip tightening around Childe’s wrist. “I asked her for more time with you.”

“You what.”

“Surely you are curious about the deal I struck with Tsaritsa. The contract to end all contracts, yes?” Childe’s wild look on his face eggs him to continue, “I struck a deal that granted you more time here in Liyue. With me.”

Childe is silent for a moment. The ex-Archon opens his mouth to continue.

“And I’d like to say I’ve known you long enough to know that you seek freedom. From what that may be, I do not know. But Tsaritsa has agreed to give you a choice, at the very least, a temporary one. An extended vacation or complete retirement is a choice to be made by you.” Zhongli finishes, looking to Tartaglia with hope.

“THAT is worth your fucking gnosis?!” Zhongli’s gnosis. The entire essence of his being. The very thing that makes him divine (thought it certainly isn’t the only thing that makes the man ethereal), was traded for him.

“Yes,” Zhongli replies with such ease it makes Childe’s head spin. “Among other things, of course.” An aggressive why is lodged in the back of Childe’s throat. Why me? A million questions swirl around his head, knocking him off balance. He would have swayed on his feet had Zhongli not been there to hold him upright.

“That’s insane. You’re insane. You…” Childe lets out a tired sigh, “I don’t understand you.” And he doesn’t. Because one minute he’s a cold hearted businessman, and the next he’s at his door, reduced to a mortal, begging him to stay. Granting him freedom. Really, what kind of fucked up game is this? Why didn’t anyone tell him he was a part of it?

Zhongli smiles. He smiles. “You remember our conversation from the night before, yes?”

Childe rolls his ever-blue eyes to the back of his head. “Remind me, Zhongli-sensei,”

“I said,” the deity starts, drawing both of Childe’s calloused hands between his own, “that I struggled to connect with others. Guizhong, the Goddess of Dust, was the one to bring to my attention my emotional constipation. And like I said, she was correct.”

Childe’s anger withers.

“Unfortunately I understand naught of the depth of your feelings of betrayal,” he continues, “but I do wish to understand how deeply humans feel. And in our time together, I’ve begun to understand through you. Despite your… complexities. And I wish to continue to learn. With you.” I wish to feel human is left unsaid, and laced between his words instead.

“What are you saying,” the Harbinger asks weakly.

“Take me with you.”

“What.”

“Take me with you. Wherever you go, I will follow, if you will allow it.”

Well duh, he’d allow it. Zhongli just had to work for it a little more. He can’t just waltz in here after breaking his heart and ruining his trust, demanding his friendship and companionship or whatever, after everything he was put through-

“Okay.”

Very nice ass to mouth filter, Ajax.

Zhongli’s eyes glow impossibly brighter, “Okay?”

Childe tugs his hands back to his side. “Yes, yes, fine. Whatever. But you can’t just. You can’t just use me again in the name of experimentation.”

“Tartaglia, I would never,” he assures him vehemently, “Of the seven, I was always the one most oblivious to emotions. You may ask Barbatos if you want. But I know that what I feel for you is real and I would not trade it for the world.”

Childe’s mind reels. Barbatos? Feelings?

“‘What you feel for me?’”

Zhongli cocks his head in confusion, as if his feelings were the most obvious thing in the world. “Well, yes. And you feel the same, no? It need not be said aloud.”

“It really doesn’t,” Childe affirms, “you can save me the embarrassment.”

“Wonderful,” Zhongli’s face brightens, and it’s only then that Childe is hit with the full realization that Zhongli is free. No longer is he tied to the city and burdened with the weight of the people. No longer does he have to associate himself with the likes of the Tsaritsa. Finally, after centuries and centuries, he is allowed the pleasure to smile so brightly despite feeling pained for finally leaving his people. He is Zhongli, and no longer Rex Lapis. Morax is long gone, too. The man before him is a man reborn, and Childe’s heart aches with happiness for him.

“Okay, well,” he clears his throat when he notices he’s been quiet for too long, “it’s been a long day and I’m tired. I think I’m just gonna take a shower and turn into bed and think about the rest tomorrow. Save it for future Childe, you know?”

He pads over to his hastily packed back and zips it back open, pulling out the toiletries he aggressively shoved in less than an hour ago. He digs his fingers into his neck and sighs at the release of tension. Summoning an angry ocean god took a lot more out of him than he anticipated.

“I agree,” Zhongli says, and begins to strip. “Personally I prefer the left side of the bed.”

Childe gawks at him.

“You-!” Truly an emotionally constipated god, indeed. He sighs and his shoulders droop, the fight leaving his body. “Fine. Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be out in a bit.”

“I eagerly await your return,” Zhongli comments passively as he slips under the covers, a book he didn’t even know he was carrying tucked under his arm. Childe sighs for the nth time that night and turns to close the bathroom door behind him.

Future Childe certainly has a lot to deal with in the morning.

#genshin impact #genshin impact fan fiction #Tartaglia #Childe #zhongli #tartali #zhongchi #i love them so much it hurts #childe x zhongli #angst #character introspection #when this chapter ended i was incredibly emotional #i just want them to be happy

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icharchivist · 3 years

Note

cries think I made my ask too long so like half of it got deleted bc I typed it right into the askbox. anyways. I come bearing a3 thoughts! at first i was gonna watch the spring/summer and autumn/winter ones and then give my thoughts on both but. turns out i had too many thoughts lol? which i shouldve expected but i actually kind of... got bored by the first two chapters of this event! so i skipped and went to the stranger. and then went back. (1/?)

and then i got to like "tsuzuru and kazunari are having a fight?" and jumped on that like a starving wolf bc helllll yeah! i rly adored kazunari in sardine search, i think he was great! hes just so nice and has good vibes. he and taichi are kind of similar i feel? but i think their respective ages contribute to a lot of difference in their characters. why does it feel like this askbox limit personally wants me dead. (2/?)

anyways! i rly enjoyed the improv scene devolving to a real fight. admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event... it was still good tho. the scene i mean. (3/?)

also i rly liked tenma ragging on them afterwards. like he was mean but. first i adore tenma. second he just felt like. a different meddling type to muku lol? like the vibes he gave me were always like... im going to be a considerate leader and watch out for the ppl under me! therefore im gonna make sure theyre doing fine! aggressively. i think tenmas also just like a friendly person who likes to take care of others in general? like im not saying hes omi or anything but just like. (4/?)

that time he offers his car ride to juza so they can go to school together like hes surprisingly open compared to his initial prickliness. also ive got thoughts abt the tenma juza SSR conversation thing i read. one day ill make a tenma and juza fic and complete a trifecta haha... but thats something for another day! back to the actual story. the way tsuzuru dives right in after kazunari! that was so nice. like its easy to see how much they care abt each other. (5/?)

to the point where like even while theyre fighting theyre like angry but still like fairly quiet bc i think theyre both at least trying to be considerate of each other. ah the moment kazunari didnt respond to tsuzuru trying to talk to him i KNEW he was sick tho. felt proud of myself for calling that one but also the reason i knew is bc i have used the "character being sick during an argument causing them both to make up with each other" trope myself before so uh. like recognizes like haha. (6/?)

anyways the cg there was fuckin beautiful like kazunari looks so sad in the middle bit but then u see his shy smile? like hes sick but hes also like. happy to be there. idk. lovely. i adore kazu i think hes just deeply sweet to other people. tsuzuru telling him "you make everyone around you feel as bright and cheery as the things you design” is so wonderful too (7/?)

now im thinking. ah tsuzuru probably feels quite drained after a script and such (i know i am when i finish any piece--its like the emotions just rush out of me) so i like to think that like yknow. kazunari dropping by his room or whatever helps him set himself back to normal! but also when tsuzurus like oh u left ur magazines here! i suddenly remembered. wait shit kazunari and tsuzuru arent even roommates. wonder how much they bother masumi lmaooo. anyways overall very good story! (8/?)

some more thoughts: itaru and citron were so cute in this event! just like. citron saying itaru winking makes his heart skip a beat and itaru quoting citrons wrong sayings (which. i am also guilty of today i told my brother "we'll jump that bridge when we cross it" so) also i love how yuki is like "thank god i wasnt partnered with that hack" but like. yuki. u could literally just not talk about him. like its so funny to me yuki is like wow i hate tenma but he wont shut up abt him haha (9/?)

i also was a lil taken aback at hearing itaru go "for the lulz" tbh... like it fits him. but im mad it fits him? anywaysss thats all i had for this one! im gonna watch autumn/winter and go say my thoughts on that soon. sorry the ask was so broken up, idk what happened!

OLA FRIEND! Glad to see your thoughts again omg :3c

tho omg the fact tumblr deleted it all + the ask limit was all so evil D: poor friend.

I'm putting my answer under a read more because. Well. *waves hand* it got long.

The non-play events can be perhaps a little harder to get into because unlike the plays events that you start with a clear idea of at least the main plot (re: "they are preparing a play, i know the leads so i know who it will focus on"), non-plays events take a little longer to first set up what event they're participating in, how to prepare for it, and then bring up the conflict and which characters are going to have something to do with said conflict. So i can understand that they're a little harder to get into when we know the plays awaits.

On top of that, the first few events still were a bit tame because since it was early when the app released, i think they didn't go too heavy at once in case some people were still stuck on earlier chapters (esp since especially Winter is hard to unlock)

ANYWAY glad that it sucked you in on the second read :3c

So glad you were invested in that conflict!

Totally agreeing with you about Kazunari, and very good point about Taichi as well! they aren't the Puppy Pair for nothing :'D (Yuki took one look at both of them together and just Knew. His suffering knows no end (lovingly)). But yeah i think they have a lot in common, they both are the really bright and friendly figure, both also started in overcompensating a bit because both wanted to be popular in some ways.

But we do have, on one hand, Kazunari who wanted that rather late in his life while Taichi always thrived for that, the fact Kazunari made friends easily and it's just that he was scared of getting to the next level, while Taichi always struggled with this quest for popularity. In a way too both of them were at least scared to share a part of them, Kazunari worrying to show his thoughts, and Taichi being a spy and all of that... which impacts them really differently considering the guilt it puts on Taichi. And then you add their age into the mix, especially the fact Kazu is the oldest of his troupe and Taichi the youngest of his, it makes them fairly similar all while being fairly different.

both are so interesting to me and i love them bothhh, so it's always nice to see them have focus.

admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event

i love how you are seeing the patterns a3 tends to do it's so neat!

It's true the fight isn't really similar to their actual fight, though i do love that they had "swapped" their personality for the act and ended up insulting each other for theirr swapped personality. Like, Kazunari insulted part of himself in Tsuzuru's character and Tsuzuru did the same?? and then the fight escalated and the way Kazunari broke character hurts bc it's really that Tsuzuru hit where it hurts. But yeah it still wasn't too relevent to their actual fight, though i think the thing is that their fight was as such mostly because they tend to clash often due to their personalities rather than just this singular reason why, so to have the play go more "it's their personalities the problem" kinda hurt lol. But yeah still agreed that it didn't reflect much on the plot itself

I was rereading the improv bit to answer correctly and man since we're going to talk about Tenma next, i just. Love that when Kazunari, breaking character, his eyes sad, tells Tsuzuru "you have no rights talking to me like that..." it then cuts on Tenma being upset. Bc like. Exactly like you say, he wants to look out for the people under him. and like. Kazunari is his friend. A friend he also snapped at once and insulted for being who he was, so he probably could have relived a bit of his fight with Kazunari seeing those two fights; Except that now Kazunari is one of his closest friend and he doesn't like that.

Also like. It was also because he could still hide under the plot of the improv but it's so rare, and it never happened before that point, that Kazunari stands for himself in a "the way you treat me is unfair"? Like again re: his fight with Tenma, when Tenma snapped at him, while Tenma was unfair with him, Kazunari took the blame, called himself annoying and all yaknow?

The fact Kazunari is starting to accept that he can take more place for himself is something the whole Summer Troupe have been trying to help him work on, but especially Tenma. Tenma is always there trying to push Kazunari to say what he means, to express his feelings, to stop hiding.

And for once, Kazunari does that in front of everyone... and it's because he's breaking because of his fight with Tsuzuru.

I think Tenma probably felt it was even more of a reason to get involved like, this is the thing he's been working on with Kazunari about, and now he's being all hurt about it, not on Tenma's watch!

And i totally agree with your take on Tenma! (and would LOVE to read the Tenma and Juza fic once you get to it :3c). I think, Tenma is really caring and is trying to take a place as a caretaker and all, but unlike Omi, he has absolutely no reference for it.

Omi is the eldest of multiple brothers and everything indicates his parents have always been lovely to him. Add to it how he ended up leader of a delinquent crew he was clearly looking after, Omi has a history of taking care of people, of nurturing them, and he knows what he's doing. Meanwhile Tenma grew up on TV sets, mostly surrounded by adults and not by people his age, mostly getting advice from being ordered around by directors i think. And his parents are distant, hyperfocused on their job, not really nursing with him. So Tenma meanwhile really didn't have a family emotional support and was in situation where he couldn't befriend other kids his age. His only reference was probably Igawa (his agent) and i think for a long time he didn't exactly see it, and Igawa remained mostly professional so there was probably the idea of it not being sincere? That Tenma had to grow out of.

So like, they're both extremely nurturing and caring, but my point is that Omi has experiences in it and is at ease with it, while Tenma has been so alone and in places were he had no support system that even if he wants to support others, he still struggles with how to do it because he has no set exemple. And that's his development in the main story arc, to learn from how Izumi shows she cares in order to care back at them all.

Like i mean the way Tenma yelled at them about their mistakes at first feel like he would have picked it up from some directors on TV set yaknow? Probably hearing them say that with no consequences on others actors, seeing it worked, didn't think "that's an abuse of power and the actors probably all think badly of their director for that" but "wow that works", tried it on his troupesmates and realized this is... not how that works. And it's spending time watching how Izumi encourages them that have him fix his way to approach it.

So yeah i got lost too into it but like. I feel you on Tenma i love him so much and i love his development so to see him get pissed and involved there? was really nice. even if he was aggressive about it. He's still learning.

ANYWAY back to Tsuzuru and Kazunari, totally agree with what you say next. They still care a lot about each other and yeah they're at a point where this consideration they have for each other make their anger more quiet than trying to attack one another (Banri could NEVER-). so yeah totally agree with you!

DLKFJDLKF i LOVE the reasoning on "recognizing that Kazunari was sick". Your writer's powers making you see through... *coughs* unlike Tsuzuru....

AND YEAH ALL YOU SAY ABOUT THE CG.. YEAH. Kinda crying thinking about it again now LDKJFLKDJF It's just. Everything about it is so soft and tender. The things Tsuzuru tells Kazunari are soo so sweet sobs. They're just adorable i love those kids. and also i feel you for Kazu he's just that great huh?

The whole set up about Kazu dropping by his room is so so cute! I love it! Like probably the very first time Tsuzuru braces himself because "oh no i'm not in the mood to stand mister hyperenergy himself" but Kazunari quickly adjust his energy so that Tsuzuru can just recharge without being overwhelmed. Yes it would drive Masumi completely nuts. Which i think is a plus for Tsuzuru like, hey, if Masumi gets annoyed once in a while it's a win. But yeah also i think that Tsuzuru and Kazunari should really have the Artistic Soldiarity of Students in Art school Probably Working Until Very Late To Complete Their Projects. Would love if at the end Tsuzuru gave it back yaknow?

but yeah their story was really nice i'm so glad you liked it! :D

oh god yeah Itaru and Citron were SO cute in it too, i also love the comments Citron makes about Itaru's winks. Just there flirting in front of everyone like those two embarrassing friends huh. (probably with Muku being all starry eyes considering he greatly admires both Itaru and Citron and, well, Romance.). And yeah i love how Itaru ends up so much into Citron's rhythm (and this idiom you said? is glorious actually, 10 points for you)

DLKFJDLKF what a call out toward Yuki. "yes i hate Tenma,no i won't shut up about him, also if YOU say you hate Tenma i'm going to stab you with my needles, have a nice fucking day.". I love their dynamics so much aha

And yeah Itaru is there cursing us the whole time with the fact he's the greatest nerd ever and it fits him perfectly. It makes me laugh so hard.

Thank you so much for having shared your thoughts there! it's always a blast to read through them and i dearly enjoyed it! (+ it makes me relive the event a little and it makes me soft!)

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! So glad you had so many thoughts about all of this, what a blast.

thank you for sharing, and looking forward the Autumn/Winter reactions :3c

Take care!

#ichareply #ichafantalks a3 #sonnets of beauty

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ffangirlingsince2001 · 4 years

Text

End of the Tunnel: IV

George Weasley x Reader

Description: It’s almost been a year since Freed Weasley was lost to the Battle of Hogwarts, and for George Weasley it might as well be an eternity. He is lost in the dark, no color to be found. Until suddenly there might be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING, mentions of suicide, cutting, language, angst!!!! (I’m very serious if this messes with your mind DO NOT READ).

MASTERLIST

***

Hannah had been living with him for three weeks. And what a three weeks it had been. There was never a dull moment living with George Weasley. One night she had shown up to a water gun fight and the next a candlelit dinner he had cooked almost entirely on his own (Hermione had been a bit of help where magic failed). He helped her clean after work whenever the shop didn’t keep him late. He held her until morning as they curled beneath the sheets of his drafty apartment, never hesitating to grab another one of his mother’s knitted blankets when she even so much as shivered. He was loving and kind and sweet. He laughed at her stories and even added a few tales from school of his own. He was never impatient when she struggled to understand some wizarding device she had not yet encountered (“It’s a bird of prey!”). Honestly, it had been the best three weeks of her life.

Everything seemed to be perfect until she was returning to his apartment one late night. The town drunk had refused to leave, escalating to a fight with one of her waiters, drawing in cops and a medic for the cuts and bruises left by shards of glass. When she pushed her key into the lock, she immediately knew something was wrong. Nothing was out of place and there was nothing profoundly disturbing, but the air hung like tragedy was waiting to strike.

“George,” she called into the house, jumping as her voice contrasted the heavy silence of the room. “George,” she called again, gently stepping towards the slightly ajar bathroom door. She stretched her hand forward and pushed it open, unable to stop the blood-curdling scream the escaped her throat when she found what was inside.

He was sitting in the bathtub with hair askew and a bottle of firewhiskey, mostly gone, resting in his hand. But that wasn’t what worried her, it was the thin cuts that traipsed up his arm like a morbid train track.

She was on her knees in a second, crouching over him as she sobbed.

“George, George, look at me,” she sobbed, and he glanced at her, tears mixing with the streak of blood across his cheek. He seemed so lost and afraid.

“I thought you weren’t coming back,” he whispered, and she shook her head, grabbing bandages and climbing into the bathtub as she cried. She straddled his waist and pulled him close. “You’re always home by midnight, but you didn’t come, I thought you weren’t coming back. I thought you were gone.” They both were sobbing now.

“No, I promised. I promised you I’d never leave, and I don’t break my promises,” she cried trying to bandage his wrists. He yanked them away to cover his face, but she held tight, tightly wrapping the gauze around the shallow cuts. They weren’t bleeding much, but every time she glanced at them her stomach churned, threatening to empty her rushed dinner from earlier in the evening. “George, look at me.” She placed a kiss to his forehead. “Please, I need you to look at me,” she cried and eventually, through the emotional turmoil he did so.

His eyes were red from the firewhiskey and puffy from the crying, face so full of sadness he looked like a child who had not received anything on a dreary Christmas morning. She ran his hands over his cheeks, softly wiping away the tears that had been shed.

“George, there was an accident at the bar, I had to stay a bit later to take care of it. I’m sorry,” she explained, and he nodded, tears still sliding down his cheeks. “Please, don’t ever do this to yourself,” she said ushering to his wrists, “You have to promise me, please George.” He halfheartedly nodded but she persisted. “George, I’m serious. I can’t lose you, not to something as terrible as this.” She was crying harder now, fingers pressing subconsciously into the fresh wounds.

“Hannah, I promise, I promise I won’t,” he told her, pulling her tight, sobering up with every second she remained within her presence. They didn’t move from the bathtub that night, holding one another until they fell asleep and woke up with cricks in their backs.

While the three weeks before that had been the best weeks of her life, that day had been the worst, far worse than anything the death eaters had managed to inflict upon her psyche. When they had woken up she had made him promise one more time.

That must have been why when she returned to the house in the middle of the day two weeks later she had been hysterics.

Just like that night she had opened the door, and this time there was no heavy tension in the air, only his body on the kitchen floor.

She heard screaming, harsh and shrill against the silence, and it wasn’t until it was filled with crying that she realized it was hers. It was her scream echoing against linoleum, shaking the dishes and rattling the silverware as she fell to his side. His name never left her lips as she shook his shoulder, praying to whatever god that would listen. She prayed he would wake up and that the blood would return to the two long cuts up either arm. It was a sea of blood, staining the grout and her nails as she tried to pull him into her arms. God it was everywhere, spread across the floor like the cruel slaughter it was. She didn’t want to look at it, but it was impossible to look away. It coated her hands and her arms, staining her blouse all the way down to her shoes. No one should have that much blood, it seemed impossible for someone to have so much. It seemed impossible that it was his, spread across the floor. It just couldn’t be possible, not him, not now, not when he had fucking promised. He had said he wouldn’t do it, he had fucking promised. He just kept slipping back to the tile, cold, heavy… lifeless. It was a wonder none of the neighbors came as she screamed for help, the silencing charms he had once placed on their home should have been nonexistent against the wails of despair that slipped from her lips until her throat ached.

“Wake up! Wake up! Please, I’m fucking begging you wake up!” she screamed until she was hoarse.

It seemed no one would come, no one would help her pick up the pieces that were spread across the floor like a cruel joke. The world was playing a cruel joke on her, by ending when everything had just been beginning. It wasn’t fair, there had to be a way, there just had to. He was a wizard god damn it.

And then suddenly she felt familiar arms wrap around her, holding her tight as she cried. At first she was sure it was just her imagination, until she managed to hear her name through her own cries.

“Hannah,” it called and she turned to find him standing there. She blinked, rubbing away the tears, pressing her hands to his face, just to ensure that it was actually him. He felt there and the way his breath brushed her cheek felt real. She glanced behind her, and the body was still there but it looked different somehow. The alive George pushed her behind him and pulled out his wand, pointing it at the dead version of himself and the body turned to a ball of energy before being banished the a trunk that shook with vigor once it was locked tight. “Hannah, it’s okay, look at me, it’s not real.” She looked down and the blood was gone. It was just her on the floor with George holding her.

“What, I, I don’t.”

“It was a boggart,” he consoled, wiping away her tears.

“A- a what?”

“It shows you your biggest fear. Nasty creatures, I can’t believe we have one this far out of the wizarding world.”

“Oh,” she whispered, turning towards where he had once lain., “I’m glad that’s all.” And with a sudden zeal she pulled him tight against her, breathing deeply what she had thought she had lost only moments ago. He offered her a weary smile and she returned with one of her own.

“I’ll take care of it tomorrow with Ron, but now you should get some sleep.” It felt like hours since she had found the figment of his body, but the sun was still high above them.

“I have to go to work,” she protested but he shook his head.

“No, you don’t. Call someone in, you’re exhausted,” he said, noting the way her shoulders stooped over when he released her. She nodded and he carried her to bed, climbing in beside her. Her arms wrapped around him tighter than they ever had.

That night he waited until she was asleep before sweeping through the kitchen in search of every knife in the place. He bagged them all, doing his best to not let them rattle against each other, and then he chucked them into the bin outside their home. The kitchen was clear of her fears and with a nod he climbed back into bed, if they really needed them he was sure Ron wouldn’t be opposed.

#george weasley imagine #george weasley x reader #george weasley fanfiction #george weasley #george weasley smut #george weasley angst #george weasley x reader smut #george weasley x reader angst #george weasley x reader fluff #george weasley x reader fanfiction #end of the tunnel

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qwertyfingers · 3 years

Note

we know that bobby only watched ds9 and dean watched the tos movies for sure which implies he's seen tos as well (plus he calls jack spock). so what do you think everyone's favorite trek is? sam is without a doubt a tng fan first and foremost. i think out of all tos movies cas prefers the wrath of khan because he Feels Things when kirk and spock do the ta'al through the glass. charlie has definitely seen some trek (we've seen her llap), do you think she's into tos first and foremost? anyway let's talk about star trek nights in the bunker.

OKAY SO I HAVE. MANY MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS. SORRY THIS IS SO LONG.

like. like of COURSE bobby only likes ds9 of course he does i could have told you this without the show becuase like. bobby is That Bitch. i think rufus will have watched TOS at least because leonard nimoy worked hard on linking jewish faith and practices into the vulcan lore and i think that would mean something to him. bobby will catch rufus smiling at him sometimes while they’re watching ds9 and ask him what all gruffly and rufus will smirk at him and say something about sisko with jake and bobby with dean and bobby will just cough and take a swig of whiskey and rufus will raise his eyebrows but let it slide. rufus definitely makes a comment once about dean&cas being like jake&nog that totally flies over dean’s head but bobby is all knowing eyebrow raise about.

i think cas and jack would really like discovery. while it has some issues with inconsistency, pacing, being a little dark, it also does better than the other TV treks at utilising the nature of film as a medium to instill a sense of wonder, at space and the world, and that’s something they’d really appreciate. i have my own issues with disco, but an obol for charon is as close to the central core of trek that disco ever gets. cas and jack also like that one in particular because they like listening to all the different languages being spoken. they all love michael (everyone loves michael). cas’ faves are stamets and reno because they’re mean and gay, jack’s fave is tilly because she’s excitable and bright and he latches onto that. dean likes reno because she’s got spunk. sam’s fave is airiam and he will never forgive them for killing her off. sam, cas and dean all feel an uncomfortable kinship with both ash and culber - they’ve both been the one with monster teeming under the surface, controleld by something not themself, but they’ve also all spent that time in hell/purgatory, separated from everyone they love.

thinking about episodes that would really get to them all, darmok is. THE ONE. i have a whole unfinished essay about darmok as the platonic ideal of star trek; the perfect distillation of everything trek is SUPPOSED to be about. it doens’t always get there but by god it tries! that speech michael gives in the disco s2 finale - “There's a whole galaxy of people out there who will reach for you. You have to let them. Find that person who seems farthest from you and reach for them.” - that’s what darmok is about!!! it’s all about a situation where real communication seems impossible, where everything we know about talking and learning has broken down. and picard says, okay, i will find another way. i can’t relate to you, you can’t relate to me, but by god i’m going to try. we all meet people we have trouble communicating with in our lives, and often, those people will not care about changing their own ways to accommodate us. for people with autism, adhd, psychosis, the list goes on, this is a very common occurrence. it’s exhausting and frustrating and alienating. darmok is all about crossing that barrier. about reaching for someone through a world of difficulty and learning how to talk. learning how to share something with someone who seems out of our reach. it’s beautiful, it’s heartwrenching, it means more to me than i can easily put into words!

anyway i think the bunker fam would experience a lot of emotions watching it together. there’s defintiely a lot of hugging eachother, sam cries a lot and won’t look at anyone until after the episode ends. jack just asks a lot of questions and talks about his progress learning sign language with cas. dean snakes his hand into cas’ halfway through and doesn’t let go. doesn’t show the emotion on his face, but he clutches harder at the emotional beats. cas runs his fingers through jack’s hair and thinks a lot, and decides not to say anything unless dean talks first. its just a Lot for everyone.

dean def makes them marathon all the TOS and TNG movies. it’s an experience everyone needs at least once. i think you’re right about cas and TWOK with the ta’al through the glass, but also ‘this simple feeling’ and the hand hold would make him feel crazy. bones being the one that spock entrusts with his katra DEF makes dean feel some type of way because as much as destiel is kirkspock-coded, dean IS bones, and seeing spock trust bones so completely despite how at odds they were when they first knew eachother would dig deep into dean’s psyche and make him more than a little bit nutso. the movies are way too long for jack so he mostly sits and plays animal crossing while they watch and looks at the screen when everyone else gasps or when something exciting is happening that holds his attention for a while. sam’s fave is nemesis precisely because it’s terrible and he loves how camp it is.

dean has definitely seen all of trek. i refuse to believe someone who watches as much tv and films as dean wouldn’t sit and watch the whole shebang. i think he’s probably seen TOS and the TOS movies more than the others because its easier than sitting through 7 seasons, but i think rather than that being his favourite he’d just have really strong opinions about the best episodes of each one? like if you asked him what his favourite is he’d say you can’t answer that because they’re all so different from eachother

VOY - bride of chaotica, non seqitur, macrocosm for the favourite episodes. seven, janeway and tuvok would be his favourite characters. he think toms a bit of a knob but also feels a kinship with him for the similar brand of bab dad-ism but he wouldn’t be able to put that into words. he’s also a fierce defender of threshold being a good episode (he’s right for that)

DS9 - our man bashir it’s our man bashir. he doesn’t dislike ds9 but its very plot heavy and he didn’t care for it when he was younger. rewatching it after living through multiple supernatural wars he’d probably appreciate it more. i know for a fact he cries every time there’s an episode about sisko being a good dad. jadzia and garak are his faves

TNG - he LOVES q. he also absolutely will not be caught dead referencing how much loves q after cas comes into his life because sam will do the little brotherly knowing eyebrow raise at him and he will die of embarrassment. he regularly references ‘there are four lights’ because he’s a fucking nerd. he has made cas watch elementary my dear data and fistful of datas a half dozen times each at LEAST. cas KNEW how dean was going to be about the cowboy hat he’s defintiely got into full cowboy getup at home just for watching movies and in cas’ head star trek is fully to blame.

TOS - oh there are so many good TOS eps to choose from. obv he loves most of the series becuase TOS has MANY banger eps, his favourites are probably like. mirror mirror, amok time (baby dean defintiely had some kind of crisis watching it for the first time; i know the rituals are intricate). i know deep in my bones that dean watched the conscience of the king (introduction of the tarsus iv massacre) once and then spent his entire teenage years writing fic about that in his head, whether he posted it or not. dean related too much to those experiences of shared hunger. city on the edge of forever is one of everyone’s faves for a reason (and i’m STILL mad we never got a closer take on that episode in spn it could have been so fun).

ENT - he definitely thinks enterprise is stupid and he’s not wrong but he has also definitely watched it and been very repressed about the whole thing. mans was like oh i feel a kinship with malcolm reed the obviously repressed queer man. i will never examine this feeling ever again thank you <3 he also makes fun of archer for being obsessed with, of all sports, water polo. shran is his favourite character because he’s a little shit and makes him laugh, and t’pol, because t’pol is a badass and he’d appreciate that. i can’t remember the title of a single episode off the top of my head though lol.

i can see what you’re saying about sam being a TNG stan. i’m conflicted though, I feel like TNG’s generally the favourite of 1) obnoxious nerds who think knowing trivia facts makes them smart, 2) men desperately trying to seem masculine and 3) people who’ve watched it three times and have extremely complex thoughts on the personhood and rights of robots. i could see sam fitting into the third group, but people who are in it for the robot feelings are a coin flip between voyager and tng being the fave, and i just have a feeling that voyager would be his favourite. i know kid sam is getting gender envy watching voyager in shitty motels while dad and dean are out, trying to find the words for it. his first semester at stanford he talks a friend into giving him the janeway haircut and rides that high for months. sam’s favourite characters are seven and EMH.

sam and dean have definitely had dozens of long drawn out debates about philosophical topics in star trek. do the holograms deserve rights and if so which ones. are the romulans and vulcans still meaningfully the same people. was spock right for trying to foment reunification by going undercover on romulus. can the borg be redeemed. etc etc.

i haven’t seen any of picard at all so i can’t comment. i also think sam and dean probably read a lot of the trek books? they’re pretty common to find in secondhand bookstores and cheap, would have been even cheaper back in the day. sam probably doesn’t care for them much, dean has a few solid faves though. i’ve only read the disco books so i can’t comment anything specifically (besides the fact that i think dean read dead endless and cried like a baby), but some of the TOS and DS9 books are gay as hell and i know dean was eyes emoji-ing that shit.

#spn #spn fic #tfw 2.0 #treknatural

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lustinglilac · 4 years

Text

Pressure

A/N: In which Nurse!Y/N finds herself in a compromising situation when the love of her life is lying on the stretcher.

Warnings: angst, near death experience, blood, fluff at the end, GSW= gunshot wound.

“Code GSW, code GSW.” The voice over the intercom spoke as she rushed to the scene, not once did the idea run through her mind that it would be him in that stretcher.

Rounding the corner with three different types of gauze paddings, she halted to a stop as she saw Maggie’s familiar face pacing back and forth. If Maggie was here that meant— surely, it couldn’t be true. She refused to believe it.

Handing the gauze to a paramedic, she looked over the shoulder of a fellow nurse hesitantly. Her heart nearly stopped, the room felt like it was spinning, the ringing in her ears picking up as the blood pooled out of his thigh drenching the floor and stretcher.

“Y/N! We need you to put pressure on the thigh!” A colleague yelled out to her, her voice being drowned out by the chaos going on around her.

Her feet moved on their own as she stood closer to his left thigh, putting on her gloves shakily and pressing on the wound that penetrated his skin.

“Omar, stay the fuck with me.” She whispered, tears blurring her vision, she applied pressure before tying an elastic band on his upper thigh as the paramedic cut his pant leg.

“Baby—“ He managed to murmur a word to her, labored breathing cut short as he saw her face above his. Had he died? Was he in heaven?

“Stay with me, please—“ She cried as she took a quick look at the monitor attached to him, his heart rate dropping dangerously low.

“He’s losing too much blood, we can’t—“ Just as the machine beeped signaling a flatline, his brown eyes closing immediately.

She looked down at her blood soaked gloves as Maggie came to her side, trying to tear her away from the dreadful scene as paramedics and nurses did their job to prevent him from dying.

“Let me do it! Let me save him!” She yelled, with all the strength she could muster she pushed the paramedic beginning to do CPR aside, straddling her boyfriend’s waist on the stretcher.

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...“ She counted to herself as she let her tears fall onto his exposed chest. His chest recoiling with each compression yet his eyes remained closed. She continued doing CPR the way she was taught, not once faltering.

“Move, move, move! AED, everybody be on standby!” Another paramedic’s voice boomed throughout the hallway. Continuing to do her job until the paramedic put the shock paddles on his chest. She got off of his body, her own body numb, scrubs covered in his blood as the machine charged up.

“Clear, everybody clear!” Shock.

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8...” Another round of compressions until he got shocked again.

“Clear!” Shock.

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8...”

“Clear!” Shock.

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8...” She worked around the defibrillator pads, finding the perfect rhythm once more.

“Last time, everybody clear!” Shock. His body jolted to life, lungs filling with air that he couldn’t quite fully grasp.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

“Oh my god. Oh my god!” Sobs wracked her whole body as she threw herself over him, his heart beating slowly but surely under her palm.

“Y/N, Y/N, let go. We need to take him to the OR.” A nurse spoke to her cautiously as she finally composed herself and let them wheel him off without another word.

“I’m so sorry. You weren’t supposed to see that—“ Maggie breathes out as she turns to the young woman covered in OA’s blood.

“Maggie, how did this happen? Oh god.” She cried even harder as she saw her distressed face.

“Why don’t we go sit down, okay?” Maggie hums softly as she lets a passing nurse know that her friend needed a break for the time being.

“I need to go change.” She whispers, tears rolling down her face silently. Maggie nodded quietly and let the fragile girl lead her up to the locker room.

The elevator ride was quiet, apart from the occasional sniffles coming from her as Maggie stood a few feet away breathing heavily.

She changed rather quickly, wiping her clogs of dried blood and washed her hands for what felt like the fifteenth time that hour as Maggie waited in the lounge room patiently.

“You feeling better?” Maggie stands up, pulling her friend into a comforting hug.

“Not really but, I don’t have a choice do I?” She pinched the bridge of her nose trying not to cry again. They both sat down in the uncomfortable lounge chairs as they waited to be called down to the recovery room.

“He’s going to be okay. If you know OA, you know he refuses to die. Okay?” Maggie laughs lightly as she, too, cries for the first time that night.

“Okay. He’s going to be okay.” She encouraged herself to think positive thoughts as it was her turn to comfort the agent across from her.

•••

Three hours later, she had finally gotten the call that he was out of surgery. She gathered up her belongings and headed downstairs with Maggie right by her side.

The doors to the floor opened, her feet taking her straight the recovery room, through large corridors and twisting hallways until she reached the double doors where the love of her life was recovering.

“Y/N, hey, it’s nice to see you! We’ve been taking good care of him, he did great in surgery.” Irina, an OR nurse who she’d become close to, informed her.

“Thank you so much, Irina.” She smiles as best as she could as she washed her hands before getting to his bedside, Maggie following suit.

“Hi, baby, how are you?” Her voice coming out shakier than she wanted it to. She reached out to hold his hand that didn’t have an IV in it.

“Better now that you’re here.” He spoke groggily as she laughed that melodious laugh that he fell in love with. Maggie watched the interaction from further back, letting them have their moment.

She brought his knuckles up to her lips, holding them there, she couldn’t believe she was even holding him right now when mere hours ago she’d almost lost him.

“I heard you saved my life.” He smiled weakly, eyes never once leaving her face. She rolled her eyes playfully and thought back to how she jumped onto the stretcher.

“I wasn’t going to let some other man or woman be all up on your body like that.” She joked and for the first time in those few hours, she’d heard him laugh genuinely and she’d felt alive all over again.

”I love you, I love you, I love you.” He whispered against her knuckles as she shed a tear. This one was a happy tear though; she was happy to have him and he was happy to have her.

Tags: @detectiveinchicago @ginghampearlsnsweettea

#oa zidan #oa zidan x reader #oa zidan oneshot #oa zidan imagine #fbi imagine #fbi #nurse!reader

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shortprince-cos · 4 years

Text

When You Fall, You Get Back Up

Summary: Patton finds himself on the forest floor, and he can't get up. Luckily, he finds someone who can help him.

Ship: Intruality

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, angst.

Warnings: Attempted suicide, impalement (only a bit), broken arm, IV, ambulance, child abuse. Tell me if I need to add anything else!

This fic is inspired by the musical Dear Evan Hansen, because I have a lot of feelings and couldn't help myself.

~~~~~

The forest looked beautiful from up so high.

Patton secured himself on a thick branch and took in the view. He had climbed about 2/3 of the way up the tree. He was so high up. If he fell, it would hurt. Bad. He should try not to fall.

But he ended up on the ground.

It didn't hurt immediately. He just lay there in shock for a couple of minutes. The fall happened so quickly, it was hard to even process that he hit the ground.

Until the shock wore off and the pain kicked in.

His entire left side hurt, that must have been the side he landed on. He felt like he couldn't catch his breath, like the air was taken from him.

The side of his head had something in it. His glasses. They must have broke and pierced his skin.

Patton gasped for air while so many tears traveled down his face. He was whimpering so much, he probably sounded like a hurt animal.

That actually is what he was. A hurt creature in the forest, calling and crying and sobbing for someone to help.

He tried to lift his left arm, but pain shot through him like a dagger going straight through his skin. Something impaled his arm.

He just kept whining. Hoping and calling and praying for someone to find him.

Just like that, Patton heard a voice. "Holy s**t! Are you ok?!" Apparently praying works sometimes.

Patton only squeaked in response. He couldn't even see who came to save him, his eyes were clouded with tears, it made everything blurry and wobbly.

"Oh my god! Your arm! That's so gross and cool! ...Sorry that's not cool right now. Um- do you have anyone you need to call before the ambulance gets here?"

Patton shook his head, but stopped when the pain of the glasses hit.

"Oh fu- that looks painful." The stranger was about to take the glasses off before he decided that the doctors should probably do that.

"Do you have a name?"

Patton opened his mouth, but only a whimper came out. Air was slowly coming back, but the tears were stubborn.

"Oh god- ok- um- the ambulance is on their way. Can- can you breathe ok?"

Patton nodded. It was only a small, lean down, kind of thing, but the kind stranger got the memo.

"Ok- um...do you mind if I take pictures? I'm a gore makeup artist for short films and s**t, and you don't see these kind of wounds everyday! They'll make really good reference pictures! Of-of course, only with your permission?"

Patton didn't understand what was so strange about his wounds -the thought that they were abnormal was a bit distressing- but he nodded anyway, giving the artist permission to take a photo.

Patton soon heard the wailing of sirens in the distance.

"Ok, the ambulance is here. How are you doing? Can you talk now?"

Patton's throat had a massive lump in it, but he somehow managed to speak a little.

"I-'m Pat-Patton."

"I'm Remus." The man- uh- Remus called over to the emergency team so that they could come and help.

Soon, he was put on a stretcher to be carried to the ambulance.

As he was put in the ambulance, the emergency nurses were discussing something about Patton's arm and head.

Remus ended up riding with him to the hospital. Patton didn't understand why he felt the need to, it certainly couldn't have been required.

"Ok, what's your name and age?" One of the nurses questioned while grabbing something.

"P-Patton Hart. Sevente-teen." Patton managed to get out.

"Ok, date of birth?" The nurse filled a container with a syringe with a clear liquid, some kind of medicine? Patton didn't know much about doctor stuff, so everything that was happening was confusing.

"January fifteenth, 2003."

Remus suddenly put his hand on Patton's shoulder, which meant something was about to happen. Patton didn't like any of this.

The nurse walked over to the right side of Patton, and cleaned a spot on the middle of his arm with an alcohol wipe.

"Ok, how did you break your arm?"

"I-" The nurse put the IV in. Patton hated needles. They scared him to death. Even thinking about getting shots could give him a panic attack.

Remus squeezed his shoulder a little harder. Soon, Patton felt so tired.

---

Patton's father did not like paying that hospital bill.

"How could you be so idiotic, that you fell out of a f**king tree? It was a tree, god d**n it!"

"I'm sorry, I-" His father slapped him across the face. Hard.

"You're lucky you still live here." And with that, Patton's father left him alone. For now.

Patton walked upstairs to his room and shut the door. He crawled under his bed covers, just hoping that he could sleep through the rest of his life.

'You can end it now.' Patton thought. 'All you have to do is get the pill bottle.'

He was about to get up until his phone rang. It was an unknown number, most likely a scam, but Patton answered anyway.

"Hello?" Patton tried to keep the wavering out of his voice.

"Hey, Patton? It's Remus! Ya know, the guy who found you earlier!"

"Oh! Hey! Why-why are you calling me?" Patton was a bit confused as to why Remus would even want to speak to him again, but he tried to put that in the back of his mind.

"I just wanted to see if you were alright. I mean- you did fall from a tree, that had to hurt!"

"I-I guess. I'm...I'm ok though."

"Good! Anyways, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime? You seem like a pretty cool person, so I thought 'ehh why not?'!"

"Uh- sure! That sounds like fun!"

"Cool! Talk to ya later?"

"Yeah. Bye!"

Is this how you make friends, or is Patton delirious from the pain medication?

---

Three months go by faster than you think.

It felt like yesterday when Patton fell to the ground.

"Patton? Can I talk to you?" Remus asked as they were watching TV.

They had movie nights pretty frequently. It was a fun pastime that they both looked forward to.

This week, they were in Remus' house, instead of going to an actual movie theater, but Remus was acting a little strangely this whole time. He seemed...nervous? Patton didn't understand, but now Remus was asking him to talk?

"Sure. What's up?" Patton asked wearily. Remus' question frightened him.

'This is it. He's done being my friend. He was just hanging out with me out of pity. But now he's bored and wants to go back to his own life.' Those were the thoughts running through Patton's mind.

"I-I just wanted to ask if you- well if you..." Remus pulled a beautiful silver locket out of his pocket. "If you...wanted to be my boyfriend?"

Patton was stunned.

"I-" Patton took in a shaky breath. He needed to tell Remus...but Remus would never stay if he told him the truth. He would leave, just like everyone else did when they found out.

...Maybe if this stopped now, it wouldn't hurt as much.

"Remus, I-" Patton sighed. "You can't date me."

Remus expression changed from nervous excitement, to confused sadness.

"W-What? Why not?"

"You don't want to be with me, I'm-" Patton stood up and took a deep breath before continuing. "You don't want to date someone who lies and deceives and fakes."

Remus tried to protest, but Patton left without another word, only tears on his face.

---

Patton had gotten his cast off a week ago. It had been at least two weeks since he rejected Remus.

Before long, Patton found himself back at the tree that he dropped from.

He looked up at how tall it was. He sighed before walking up to the trunk.

'Climb it.' Said the voice. The voice that was always in the back of Patton's head. It was louder now that Remus wasn't with him. Just like when he was here the first time.

Patton almost obliged, before he heard a voice from behind him.

"Patton? Why are you here?" Remus. Why did he have to come?

He always comes.

"I-I just-"

"What are...you doing?" Remus looked like he just solved some kind of puzzle. "You- that's-" Remus gasped a little. "You didn't fall."

"What? Of course I fell, how else would I have broken my arm?"

"No, I mean-" Remus took in a shaky breath. "You jumped, didn't you?"

Patton physically tensed at the words. "N-No. I- I didn't- couldn't-"

"Did you? Did you jump, or let go, or-or-"

"No! No- I-I didn't-" Patton tried to defend himself...but he didn't even know the truth.

Actually, he did. Deep down he did, he just didn't want to admit it.

"Patton! Why did you climb that tree?!"

"WHY DO YOU THINK? I DID IT TO DIE!" Patton screamed at Remus, hot tears running down his face.

Remus was shocked. He didn't know what to do knowing that-that Patton could have died.

"Is that the answer you wanted? Because yeah, I came here to die. But then, I-I fell and-and broke my arm. And now, I'm here, trying to-to do it again." Patton was shaking violently, hugging himself to try and stop the trembling, the tears still sliding down his face.

Remus basically ran to him. He took Patton in his arms and tried to calm him down.

Oh god. What now?

---

About a half hour later, Patton could breathe normally again.

Remus and Patton were sitting on the forest floor, Remus had Patton in his lap, almost cradling him.

"Patton?"

"'m sorry."

"It's..." Remus wanted to say that it was ok, but it wasn't. "What's done is done. All we can do now, is try to get better."

Patton buried himself into Remus' chest. "Ok."

"Patton?"

"Yeah?"

"You will get better, I promise."

"...How?" Patton's voice sounded so broken and hollow and empty.

"I'll help you. I'll make sure you do."

Patton shook his head. "You won't want to stay, nobody ever stays."

"I want to. I will. I promise." Remus ran his hands through Patton's hair, hoping to comfort him in some way.

Patton sobbed into Remus' shoulder. Cries that have been held in for way too long, sobs that Patton had buried deep inside himself.

After a while, Patton's sobs died down a little, he must have been too tired to keep crying.

"Patton?" Remus asked.

"Mm?" Patton was still hugging Remus, he was probably almost asleep. He seemed so tired.

"It might be a little early for this, but I love you."

Patton hugged him a little tighter. "I-I love you t-too."

~~~~~

Sorry for more angst, Hahaha I can't stop myself

General Taglist: @five-falseh00ds-ph0nated @decadentscissorsapricotdeputy @resident-trash-goblin @thefingergunsgirl @theantisocialghost @foreverfangirlalways @emo--nightmaree Ask if you would like to be added or removed!

Reblogs are appreciated! 💖

#kawaiikat54 fic #sanders sides #thomas sanders #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfiction #tw suicide #tw suicidal thoughts #ts patton #patton sanders #ts remus #remus sanders #ts intruality #intruality

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lukneetoonz · 4 years

Text

Ghost of You Part IV

——————————————————————————-

Summary: You were the greatest thing in Katsuki’s life…. now you’re gone.

Pairing: Bakugou x Reader

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, graphic descriptions of medical stuff, cursing, mentions of cheating.

Word Count: 1,845

A/N: Hey everyone, so this is it, the end! I’m a little- I don’t know. I don’t condone cheating in ANY WAY, so writing this I kinda wanted something that made people happy.

NO ARTWORK POSTED IS MY OWN AND IS FOUND ON PINTEREST

—————————————————————————-

How did it all go wrong? Not even wrong, how did it go from bad to worse? You were breathing, you had a steady heart rate. How is it you can go from somewhat peaceful, to being crowded by hospital staff as they did whatever they were doing, supplies being screamed for, lights going dim, and rushed hands moving about your body. You were supposed to be okay- so why were you suddenly not okay?

Bakugou Katsuki looked into your room, time almost slowing down as his face held no emotion, he swore that even his own heartbeat started slowing down as he looked on. Kirishima tried talking to his ash blonde friend, only to be completely ignored, almost like he wasn’t even there. The flowers that were in bakugou's hand, dropped to the floor, and without another word, he started walking away.

He had gotten a bouquet of your favorite flowers, he thought maybe they’d brighten up the room a bit, maybe even hide the sterile smell. But coming back to this- it made him realise he needed to stop pretending. Even if you lived, you would never take him back. Why would you? He did the one thing he swore he wouldn’t do; break your heart.

*•*

Voices were loud and clear, they were- panicked? No, they sounded rushed. Almost like they needed to do the task at hand or something bad would happen. Everything slowly started coming back to you, and then you realized you were choking? Why were you choking? What was happening? Panicked, you started freaking out, strangled cries coming from you as you finally opened your eyes, only to be met by multiple faces staring down at you.

“Push a sedative into her IV, she’s becoming fully aware” A deep voice called for someone, before a finger was waving in front of your eyes, “Y/N, can you hear me?” You gave a meek nod, coughing as you felt something being pulled from your throat, leaving a sore feeling behind. “Good… good. Can you please follow my finger with just your eyes?” As you hacked up- god knows what, you did as you were asked and followed the gloved finger, making sure not to move your head.

“Lungs sound good, so does her heart.” You were met with relieved smiles, a couple of the people exiting the room as your bed was moved to sit up, a cup of water handed to you and you didn’t hesitate to grab it. Starting to look around, you were met with a very bleak room, and it didn’t take a scientist to figure out you were in the hospital. “Hi, Y/N? I’m Dr Deyoung, can you tell me everything you remember? I can come back if you need?”

Shaking your head, you tried speaking, only to cough and need a drink. After a minute, you opened your mouth and started speaking, your voice raspy and hoarse. “I- there were villains, wanting us to give them the information on pro hero’s. They knew we had it because we are a support agency” Slowly, you started remembering more and more, eyes going wide, you looked up and around, “Katsu- Where's katsu?”

Before you could get a response, kirishima came barging in, a thankful smile spreading across his face. “oh thank god-” Running to your side, kirishima pat your head, happy tears streaming down his face. “Thank you for not dying.” A laugh escaped you, making you slightly cough again, but you brushed it off. As happy as you were to see the red hero, you wanted to see another hero- one with ash blonde hair.

“Is he here?” Kirishima slumped, scratching his neck he avoided your gaze, “h-he was… but when he thought you were crashing he left. He hasn’t left your side though, like at all…” Nodding, you slowly processed what the redhead just told you. “I- can you tell him I’m okay? But… I don’t think he should come back… at least- for now… I need some time to think.” Kiri nodded, quickly ruffling your hair before he walked out, planning on finding his explosive friend.

Bakugou was outside sitting on a bench with his head in his hands, trying his best to get the image of you in that bed removed from his memory. He heard the running footsteps towards him, but he simply ignored them. Katsuki knew it was probably his friend, but he just wanted to be left alone, and he also didn’t want to hear how you were gone forever. Soft pants left kirishima as he sat next to the ash blonde, “She's awak-” something set Bakugou off as he heard the words he’s been waiting to hear, yet for some reason he was pulled down by kirishima.

“Let me finish…. she’s awake, but she said she needs time before she sees you. You owe her that.” That’s right… you weren’t his anymore, he wasn’t entitled the right to see you. Why did he think that when you woke up it would be like a dream and he’d get to hold you again. Katsuki took a few steps back before gulping, forcing himself to look at the ground, “I- I understand… see you later kirishima.” A hoarse whisper left the red eyed hero before walking away.

*•*

When you were released from the hospital, you went home to a small get together filled with your friends and loved ones. Even if you were out, you still had a gloomy feeling around you. You knew that you would have to talk to Bakugou at some point, because honestly you didn’t like how it ended nor did you like not having him in your life.

Bakugou was a mess, once again. His apartment was in the worst state it had ever been, he only drank alcohol, and he stopped taking care of himself. Yet he kept in mind on how you were much better without him in your life. You said you’d talk to him- but after two months, he gave up on the hope that he had. Once again you stopped talking to him, just like that you were out of his life. If it wasn’t for him stalking your social media, he would have thought you never existed…

3 Years Later

Red eyes followed your form that walked down the aisle dressed in white. Bakugou had to tear his eyes away or else he would have cried, he even might have ran up to you and kissed you right there. But he couldn’t, he could never do that to his best friend. The one that was waiting for you to say ‘I do’. Katsuki couldn’t even be upset, because kirishima asked him a million times if it was okay and apologized when the relationship started because you kissed him suddenly.

Even if Bakugou wanted to scream out and say no, tell him to back off, he couldn’t. He refused to be the cause of another heartbreak for you, plus never did the ash blonde think it would have led to this. You walking down the aisle with him standing at the altar, but merely standing behind the actual groom. As you arrived to stand before everyone, kirishima took your hands and kissed your knuckles, a shining smile on his face as you both stared at each other with love.

When the priest started talking, Bakugou toned out every word, the words now mere background noise to the nightmare he was living. “Does anyone have any objections for why these two shall not be married? Speak now or forever hold your peace” shaking out of his thoughts Bakugou looked over Kirishima's shoulder to be met by your eyes, holding an emotion he couldn’t quiet. He may have been a pro hero, one that was constantly thrown into terrifying situations, but this was the scariest thing he has ever done.

“Me. I-I object.” Bakugou never whipped around so fast to see Kaminari Denki holding his hand up. To say that the explosive hero had wide eyes would be an understatement, jaw dropping as he quickly turned his head to look at you with a confused written expression. Kirishima blushed, his face now matching his hair as he looked to the ground, scratching his neck, “I- Y/N…” as he tried to form words, he just couldn’t, Kaminari now stepping to be in front of kiri grabbing his hands. “Please… choose me. I’m begging you Eijiro, you can’t possibly sit here and say that we aren’t worth fighting for.”

Your eyes quickly scanned the two men before you as you started laughing, rubbing your hands over your face as you simply took off your heels and started walking away, “even if you said no, I’m not gonna marry you and see you unhappy Kiri… you deserve to be truly happy.” Even if you didn’t turn around, Bakugou could tell you were starting to cry, because he’s heard that tone of voice before. Kirishima tried forming words but he only looked away ashamed, “Y/N, I never meant to hurt you… I’m so sorry”

Bakugou was in such shock he didn’t know what to do, but before he decided he was already running after you, trying to reach you before it was too late. Bursting through the doors he squinted his eyes from the shining sun, blinking a couple of times to find himself laying on the ground and looking at Kirishima and Kaminari looking down at him with worried faces. “Bakugou? Can you hear me? C'mon bro you can’t not be okay, Y/N needs you.” A shaky voice that belonged to his best friend made Bakugou try and focus better, groaning as he rubbed his head.

“What the fuck is going on?” Going to sit up, Kirishima put his hand on bakugou's shoulder, “Take it easy… there was a villain with a powerful nightmare quirk and it was crazy, you wouldn’t respond to anything but passed out after an hour.” Soaking in the new information, he was confused. What the hell was he just living in?

“I need Y/N… where is she?” Kirishima laughed, shaking his head, “Don’t worry, she’s at her job. We texted her already and she said she’ll be on her way soon…” Bakugou nodded slowly, taking a deep breath in, “Good… good.” A frown appeared on the red head's face, “That villain really did a number on you huh?” The meek nod from Katsuki only made Kirishima frown harder, “It’s okay man… it wasn’t real. It wasn’t real….”

Taglist; @katsukiswhore @leeeah-loooser @do-not-talk-to-me-i-am-awkward @desia2 @katsukiwonu @xxlushika @lov4kbg @aj-1154 @six-piece-chicken-mcnobody @nekee-lilac02

#mha fanfiction #mha imagines #ely here #bakugou x reader #mha bakugou #bakugouimaginedarlingely #bakugou imagine #bakugou fluff #katsuki x y/n #katsuki imagine #bnha katsuki x reader

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shhh-no-ones-home · 3 years

Text

death wish* matt murdock x reader

+++++++++ Request from @juniebugg : similar to Matt and Elektra in the gym ft Matt's choking kink

thank you again for the request and sorry it took so long. i had no idea how i was gonna write this and then it just hit me and i actually really like the way it came out so i hope you enjoy!

* - there is so little plot to this, i got so carried away omg. we definitely highlighted the choking kink, and maybe a praise kink, and mayhaps use a few pet names (good girl and baby girl) 😅

Song: disappear (remember when) by issues

tag list: @cynic-spirit @juniebugg +++++++++

"matt what are we doing here?"

i asked, watching him unlock the door. it made me that much more curious that he even had a key to whatever the hell this was.

"i want to show you where i go after work everyday. you said you wanted to know."

i looked around as he stayed by the door, holding his cane to his chest like he usually did.

"this is it, isnt it? where your dad trained?"

i asked, touching the punching bag hanging from the ceiling with the lightest touch. i looked to him and he nodded, walking to me slowly.

"i have an arrangement worked out with the owner and i come as i please. after hours of course."

i stared at him for a moment and a silence hung over the entire room.

"he's part of you ya know."

he raised a brow as i moved to hug the bag close to me, using it as a resting post.

"well he was my father."

i sighed out a short laugh.

"no matt, i mean daredevil."

he drew his brows.

"im not daredevil."

i rolled my eyes, letting the bag go and stepping to him slowly.

"I'm not an idiot matt, i know you sneak out in the middle of the night when you think I'm fast asleep. i don't know exactly what's in that trunk under the stairs but its kind of hard to miss the smell of blood. and even harder to miss the bruises on your face and body you try so hard to hide."

i shook my head, reaching up to touch his face gently and he flinched.

"you cant hide who you are from me Mr. Murdock. i see right through you."

he swallowed hard, tilting his head down as if he were looking at me through his red glasses.

"You always have."

"I think that's why I didn't ask you about it. I wanted you to come to me first. Tell me on your own terms."

He smiled and I smiled back before he leaned down and kissed me gently.

"And you're not mad I'm the devil of hell's kitchen?"

I snorted.

"Of course not. I'm a little concerned maybe but not mad."

"Concerned?"

I looked to the side and picked my words carefully.

"I've heard the stories and I see you limping sometimes. It's not a secret whoever it is you are fighting can throw you around."

He smirked at me.

"Not that I can't handle it. In fact i do a good amount of my own throwing around."

I smiled, amused.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

he challenged. I shook my head, placing my hand on his chest.

"Wanna show me just how much you can do?"

I challenged back and he smirked.

"is this a test? this feels like a test."

i shrugged, tracing my fingers lightly down his chest.

"i dont know, why dont we step into the ring and find out."

"lead the way."

he said and i did as told. i climbed onto the platform and he followed shortly after, leaving his cane by the door.

"so, matt, how much can you really see?"

i tested, squaring up with him, hands in a defensive position.

"enough."

he said and i raised a brow, making an impressed face.

"so if i-?"

i said before throwing a punch, him dodging it with ease and retaliating by pushing me. i huffed before trying again and him repeating the motion. we circled each other for a few moments before he decided to throw one at me, me stepping to the side and both of us laughing.

"something tells me this might go on for a while."

he said a little snarky and i snorted.

"only one way to find out."

i said before throwing another punch. in a second he grabbed my wrist and threw me to the ground. i groaned in pain, looking up at him as he offered his hand to help me back up.

"guess we found out."

he said and i smirked up at him.

"did we?"

i asked, grabbing his hand and yanking him towards me, pushing my foot into his hip and flipping him up over me and onto his back opposite me. i rolled over quickly and got into a new fighting pose, one knee bent and still on the ground and the other leg up with my foot on the ground like someone who is proposing. i had my hands up in a defensive position again. he just groaned, tilting his head back towards me.

"so its gonna be like that."

he stated before rolling over and doing a push up to get to his knees.

"i suppose it is."

i said slyly, dodging his punch and standing quickly. he was just as quick to match me though, grabbing me and flipping us both back onto the ground. he was only on top of me for a few seconds before i flipped him onto his back and straddled him, holding his hands against the mat above his head.

"guess i win."

i said proudly, looking over his face. he clenched his fists twice before he pushed upward and slammed his lips into mine. it took me off guard at first, making me let go of his wrists to kiss him back. he slowly sat us up, not breaking the kiss and i could feel his hands roaming up my back. i hummed against him until we were completely upright and he started kissing across my jaw and down my neck.

"you win."

he whispered against my skin before sucking at my collar bone, holding me against him with one hand and the other traveling up my torso slowly.

"matt."

i moaned as he gripped my breast over my shirt, biting my neck as he did so. i held onto him for dear life as i pressed my hips down against his, tangling my one hand into his hair.

"i need you."

he said, leaning back and pulling my shirt over my head. when it was gone i moved to him to do the same and when it was tossed to the side i pushed him back down onto his back. i kissed down his chest and torso slowly.

"id say this is a pretty good victory."

i said, undoing his pants and he laughed, helping me get them down his thighs.

"one we can share in."

he said with a smirk, tracing his fingers against my ankles as i stood over him and got rid of my own bottoms.

"god i want you so bad."

i said, dropping back down on top of him, kissing him deeply as i ground against him. he was already hard and part of me was proud again for not only pinning him before hand but also getting him worked up that fast.

"then have me."

he whispered against my lips and i sat back up. first i trailed my fingers slowly down his torso, watching his chest rise and fall as his breathing got heavier. then as i got further down i heard his breath hitch in his throat, his hands gripping my hips tightly.

"trophy?"

i asked and he nodded quickly, pushing his hips up against my hand. i smirked before stroking him lightly, watching as his mouth opened a little.

"please."

he gasped, bucking his hips up again as i moved my hand up and down his member.

"i need words matt."

"i need-"

he groaned, squeezing his eyes tight as i continued to tease him slowly.

"i need more."

he pleaded. i let him go and moved to hover over him. his grip loosened a little bit.

"like this?"

i asked before running his tip through my folds, covering it in my slick and sinking down onto him. i dropped all the way down onto him until our hips were pressed against each other and he let out a shaky breath.

"oh my god."

he said, moving his one hand to my stomach. i looked down at him intently as i started moving against him. as i sat up and sank back down onto him his hand got further and further up my body, sending shivers down my spine as he traced gently up the valley between my breasts.

"matt."

i moaned, his hand making its way around my throat and holding firmly.

"do you trust me?"

he asked and i nodded against him.

"god yes."

i confessed, him pulling me down and flipping us over. his one hand was still on my throat, the other coming to the mat to hold him up.

"how does it feel to have your life in my hands?"

he asked harshly as he jutted into me and i let out a short breath, my mouth hanging open.

"answer me."

he demanded, slamming into me again and i moaned.

"fuck, it feels great."

i whined, him doing it again and again until he had a good rhythm, pounding into me.

"tighter."

i said, holding his wrist with a death grip, wrapping my legs around his waist.

"how do we ask?"

he said and i pushed my hips up against him.

"please!"

i screamed as he pushed into me harshly.

"good girl."

he praised, squeezing tighter and my brain went fuzzy.

"matt."

i said drunkenly, feeling the knot in my stomach tighten. then he let go of my throat and i made a disappointed face. but my expression changed as his fingers found their way to my clit. i moaned loudly as he circled it with his forefinger. i pressed my nails into his bicep as he kept his pace, pushing into me hard and fast.

"you gonna cum when i say?"

he asked and i made a squeak noise in my throat.

"was that a yes?"

he asked and i nodded quickly.

"yes, oh god yes!"

i cried, trying to hold out.

"please matt."

i pleaded.

"almost there."

he grunted, hanging his head beside mine. i could feel his unsteady breaths against my collar bone and it sent a shiver down my spine again.

"cum for me baby girl."

he said and i could feel him twitch in me. then i pushed up against his hand and screamed as i came around him. he groaned against me as he came in me, pushing into me a few more times before pausing and trying to catch his breath.

"y/n."

he said softly between breaths.

"matt."

i sighed out, rolling my head back and forth, my vision getting clearer. he just hovered over me for a few seconds before pulling out slowly and i gasped at the sensation, feeling his cum dripping out of me and onto the mat below us. he dropped to his back beside me and sighed heavily.

"how have we never done that before?"

i said breathlessly before we both laughed.

"ive never gotten you into the ring before."

he said matter-of-factly and i turned my head to look at him.

"if you always fuck like this i might have to make more of an effort to get into the ring with you."

he smiled at that but only for a second.

"ya know i definitely didn't think tonight would go like this."

i snorted.

"and i did?"

he let out a short laugh.

"no i guess i just meant, well, we've only been dating for a little bit."

i rolled onto my side and touched his face gently.

"does that stand against how long we've been friends before hand?"

he half shrugged, rolling onto his side to face me, tracing his fingers up my arm gently.

"i have loved you for a while."

he said and i smiled, kissing his hand as it made its way up my shoulder and to my cheek.

"the feeling is mutual."

he smiled back at me before leaning forward and kissing me gently.

"god i cant believe foggy was right."

he lamented and my face fell to that of confusion.

"what do you mean?"

i said i little amused.

"he bet that id say i love you first."

i made an unbelieving laugh-like sound before hitting his chest and sitting upright.

"and im guessing you bet that id say it?"

i said, faking hurt and he laughed, sitting up too.

"i honestly didnt have a doubt in my mind."

i shook my head, reaching for his pants.

"rude."

i stated bluntly, tossing them at him and he laughed again.

"youre right, and i was wrong. but now that its out i have no intention of stopping my oh so serious confession."

i stood to pull my pants back on, amused.

"well, save it for the priest then lover boy."

#wattpad #x reader #request #matt murdock #smut #daredevil #imagines #one shots #marvel #341

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