#SHITPOST FICLET

[piratefishmama]

Angel | Steddie Oneshot

Eddie Munson never believed that he’d go to Heaven. Sure he’d been raised in a catholic household, his uncle was religious, he’d been raised to give thanks for the food they ate, to pray before bed that should he not wake, his soul the lord take an all that jazz.

Wouldn’t believe it to look at him, to hear the songs he sang, the music he played. Wouldn’t believe how he’d been raised if one were to go by covers instead of contents.

But despite his upbringing in the very catholic Munson Trailer of Forest Hills Trailer Park, he never believed he’d go to heaven. Something about queers and submitting to sin and blah blah blah it’d been a long-ass time since his last confession, but Uncle Wayne stopped reminding him a few years back, so he had an excuse to keep ‘forgetting’ to do it.

Turns out, one did not need to go to confession to make it to heaven!

Angels would just. Turn up, apparently.

Maybe he’d done something good that he wasn’t aware of, he did go to that Make A Wish thing a few weeks back, DM’d a whole one shot for the kids, he’d spent hours there, a whole dang day just… hanging out with sick kids.

Maybe that was it. Maybe that was what brought this heavenly creature to his side.

To cut a long story short, he was on stage one minute, belting out the lyrics from the final verse of the last song in their set ‘Into the Underdark’, Jeff was slipping into the ending guitar solo, Eddie was gearing up for an end of gig crowd surf and the next.

The next he was looking into a bright, blinding light that kept moving between his eyes.

He’d always been told not to go to the light. If you see it? Don’t go to it, going to it would make whatever trip you were going on a one way ticket, there was no going back when you reached that light. Just hang back, wait for the resuscitation, it’d happen, someone would breathe life back into you, or whack you with enough voltage to get that heart kickin again, just don’t go into that light.

That light was way too close to his eyes, and he couldn’t swat it away. His arms felt tied down. Rude.

And then the light was gone, had he reached it? Was that it? One way ticket stub punched, sorry Earth, Munson out. “Mr Munson? Can you hear me?” Oh what heavenly chorus, the light had momentarily blinded him but shit… when his sight came back, at least enough to make out the vague shape of a very square jaw, of angular features, of warm hazel eyes, and a luscious head of hair surrounded by a halo of brilliant white light.

Angel. He had an audience with an Angel. It could only be an Angel. Neat.

He’d enjoy the ‘I Told You So’ he got from his uncle whenever the old goat made it up there he hoped it wouldn’t be soon though, he’d prefer a longer wait than a short one, thanks.

“Mnn… I hear you big boy, are you sure I’m in the right place though? I’ve been told Heaven wouldn’t want me” it sounded smooth in his head, but he was pretty sure he slurred half the words.

How could he have a slurred voice in Heaven? That didn’t seem fair.

Oh he’d forgive the slurred speech bit if the angel kept making that wonderful music with his vocal chords, that little giggle of a laugh, so bubbly and sweet, yep. Somehow he’d weaselled his way into Heaven. Suck it soccer moms. “Well, at least you can summon the strength to be charming.”

He was charming? An angel thought he was charming? Hell yeah, he’d rock this heaven shit, he already had an in with the big, winged boys!

“I can summon the strength for other stuff too, worship ain’t ever really been my thing but, baby I think I can learn for a literal Angel” he’d subject himself to an afterlife on his knees gladly if it meant he’d have his hands curled around this creature’s thighs, his mouth on—

“Oh wow…” Eddie couldn’t really see it properly thanks to the lovely blinding spots in his eyes that was no doubt his eyes adjusting to heavenly light, but he was sure his angel was blushing, he sounded a little breathless. Good. “You’re uh… wow”

Eddie hadn’t had much charm before becoming world famous but, he’d gained a little experience. Women and men alike throwing themselves at him, knowing he wasn’t all that fussed, babes were babes. All genders welcome to hop on and take a ride. He knew it was mostly the fame, he was still the same nerd he’d been back in high school, but… if fame got him laid then fame got him laid.

At the very least it gave him the experience to flirt with one of Gods pretty little birds. Maybe even score if the reaction he got was any indication.

So much for lust being a punishable sin, huzzah.

Steve was having a day. Okay no, Steve was having a whole week. The only upside to his overtime riddled ass, was that Robin had been on the majority of his shifts with him, so they could at least talk in the ambulance while they roamed the streets waiting for chaos to drop.

Monday, it’d been a seven car pileup on the highway, a few lost limbs, no fatalities but one hell of a close call on two accounts.

Tuesday, it’d been a tumble at a care home resulting in a popped hip and some heavy flirting from a few old ladies. Poor Robin suffering it from a few old men trying to shoot a shot they didn’t have.

Wednesday it’d been crisis after crisis resulting in him not finishing his shift until six hours after he was meant to finish his shift.

Thursday he had one blessed night off, thankfully his on-call status hadn’t dragged him in, and he got a decent six hour nap in.

Friday, another car wreck, he didn’t want to think about that one.

And now Saturday.

Dispatch sent them to the sold out arena, some idiot had leapt off the stage likely for a crowd surf, his foot tangled in an amp chord, it reduced his air time dramatically and he brained himself on one of the guard rails.

Excellent. At least he wasn’t dead.

Which given how easily one could wind up six feet under from such a whack to the head, he was lucky.

They parked by the side exit, shuffled in by security, and right through into the arena. The patient hadn’t been moved as per dispatchers instructions to the person who’d called. No moving the idiot until the professionals arrived and determined it safe.

Cameras, flashing lights, big beefy security guards standing in front of them blocking the majority of what was happening from view, there was… quite a bit of blood there. It didn’t look pretty in that lighting. “The crowd’s too much, let’s get him to the ambulance.” Robin’s patience didn’t exist when it came to large crowds.

Too many people. Plus she’d been on shift five hours longer than he had.

“Alright, you two, c’mere” Steve singled out two of the big security guys “we’re gonna need you to help us get him onto the gurney, we’ll look him over in the back of the ambulance.” There were no broken bones, nothing stopping them from moving him just enough to get him to the ambulance unscathed.

And then, somewhere between writing out paperwork, checking vitals, and Robin googling who this guy was, said guy… woke up.

Steve, being closer, was quick to check responsiveness, pupils reacted well to light although a concussion did look likely, they’d cleaned up the blood and found the cause to be a cut just above his left eyebrow that’d probably make a kickass scar and oh.

Without the blood. Oh. Oh he was pretty. Pretty plump lips, long lashes, deep brown eyes, faint freckles across his nose. All that hair. He was pretty.

“Mr Munson? Can you hear me?” He’d asked, while shining that little torch into those pretty brown eyes, left to right to check the responsiveness. And then he spoke and Steve— well. Robin was eyeballing him judgementally pretty damn hard given how fast his face flamed red.

Her head in her hands, her fingers plugged into her ears as Munson rattled off promises of worship and good lord— Steve didn’t know what to say, what to do, what does one do when a hot yet slightly delirious rockstar offers to worship your ‘angelic body’?

What does one do with that?

One awkwardly stutters through thanks while bright red and toasty until they can part with the guy at the ER wishing he’d met him under better circumstances cause it’d been a long ass time since anyone even touched him let alone worshipped him but accepting that he’d probably never see the guy again, so it didn’t really matter.

Until a few days later when the official Corroded Coffin account slid into his DM’s on Instagram, apologised profusely, and requested very sweetly to make it up to him with dinner the next time he was free.

Signed Eddie. With a little angel emoji. How on earth could he say no to that?

#steddie #piratewrites #Rockstar!eddie munson #Paramedic!steve harrington #SHITPOST FICLET #i have no excuse for this

[crowleys-hips]

i think it's really funny when people describe Crowley's hair as silky or soft or something along those lines in fics, because if you look at David Tennant closely, you can see they used like 50 hair products on his hair to sculpt that shit to perfection. it's probably hard as a rock or stickier than glue. i want a fic where it's like:

Crowley rests his head on Aziraphale's chest, snuggling close. The angel smiles and raises his hand to stroke his hair, but once his fingers are buried in those shiny red locks, they're trapped in a crunchy sea of slick goop. The slimy texture sticks to his fingers like superglue. He tries to pull his hand back, but it's completely stuck. Not even three consecutive miracles can do the trick. He prays for salvation.

#good omens #good omens shitpost #good omens s2 #good omens 2 #good omens fics #good omens ficlet #good omens fanfic #good omemes #good omens memes #ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots #ineffable partners #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #aziraphale good omens #crowley good omens #ineffable fandom #good omens incorrect quotes #good omens text post #xanshitposts

[loveinhawkins]

i’ve recently become aware of this starcourt mall commercial & i’m dying at the thought of Eddie seeing it, bored out of his mind, until Steve appears on screen with that stupid sailor’s hat and the world’s most awkward, “Ahoy!”, and, oh, Eddie’s grin is evil.

“Why did you tape over Dallas?” Wayne asks that night.

“Wayne,” Eddie says solemnly, “I needed to record the best moment of my life.”

Of course, Steve finds the tape later, because the universe likes to laugh at Eddie, apparently.

Spring Break of ‘86 is a few weeks away—thanks to one distracted moment, Eddie unknowingly puts the wrong tape in the case before returning a rental to Family Video, then speeding off to band practice.

Steve doesn’t notice the mixup until a few hours later, when he routinely opens the VHS cases to check that the tapes have been rewound. When he sees the tape devoid of any movie sticker, he can’t resist watching it; his shift is dragging by.

He gets 20 minutes into Dallas before it cuts off, and the commercial plays.

His jaw drops, and he groans in embarrassment, but he’s laughing when he calls for Robin in the back room, and then they’re watching it together, cracking up. They both remember filming it, remember looking at each other and swearing to never speak of it again, but they’d never actually seen it, and well… it is pretty funny.

Steve gets an evil grin of his own when he sees that the rental account is in Eddie’s name.

When he calls, he gets Mr. Munson on the phone, and because Steve can also be a meddling little shit when the conditions are right, he makes up some story about the store having new forms, that he just needs Eddie to sign one quickly.

The next day, Eddie strolls in, and Steve looks him right in the eye.

“Ahoy, Munson,” he says, deadpan.

Eddie freezes in place. He briefly considers turning around and walking into traffic.

“Harrington,” he says stiffly.

“Hey, man,” Steve says, relentlessly chipper, “so we’re kinda down on one copy of—” He glances over to the computer. “—Life of Brian, and up one copy of, uh…” He lifts Eddie’s tape off the counter, smirks. “I guess, half of Dallas.”

Eddie stalks over. “It was… for school,” he blurts out unconvincingly. “Recording Hawkins history. Nothing personal, King Steve.”

Steve lets the venom in the nickname bounce off him. “Starcourt was pretty, uh, historic,” he says mildly, fighting another smirk.

“Whatever,” Eddie snaps, losing what little patience he has left—despite all of his performances to the contrary, the thought of people laughing at him still makes his skin crawl. “Let me get out of your massive hair, Harrington, and I’ll bring your fucking video back.”

Steve raises one hand, palm out. “Woah, chill,” he says, and as Eddie’s nostrils flare, he feels a little twinge of guilt; he didn’t actually mean for all of this to come across as mean-spirited or anything. “Sorry, man. I’m not trying to be a dick, I swear.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Could’ve fooled me.” But he looks a little calmer, raises an eyebrow. Well?

“Here,” Steve says, handing over the tape, and he doesn’t react when Eddie snatches it back. “Oh, and I extended the rental on your movie.” He shrugs. “Saves you a double trip, y’know?”

“Thanks,” Eddie says, after a pause.

“No biggie.” And when Eddie makes to leave, Steve calls, “Hey, Munson?”

Eddie turns at the door, no longer quite as cagey. “What?”

Steve shrugs again. “Thanks for the mixup, I guess?”

“You’re kidding,” Eddie says flatly.

“No, I mean it, dude. Like, once I got over the, well, embarrassment of, um, everything, it was actually kinda… nice to see it.” He nods to Robin in one of the aisles, guiding a customer over to a movie. “Me and Robin, we—it was nice to have something about Starcourt that we could laugh at.”

Eddie considers him. “Were you in the fire?”

Steve smiles, and if Eddie didn’t know any better, he’d say there’s more than straightforward sadness on his face. “Yeah, got caught up in it.”

Eddie slowly, thoughtfully, opens the door but doesn’t leave, leans against it. He looks Steve up and down. “Damn shame you don’t have a hat in your get-up here, Harrington.”

Steve mock scowls, ruffles his hair. “I’m not suffering through that again.”

Eddie finds himself smiling without meaning to. “You poor thing. I guess once is enough.”

And Steve rolls his eyes this time. “Yeah, yeah, once. You’ve goddamn immortalised it, Munson.”

Eddie snorts. “Oh, but I had to,” he says, tucking the tape under his arm, “for posterity. In a hundred years, there’ll be sonnets written about your sailor outfit, Steve Harrington.”

And, whoops, that wasn’t planned, Eddie thinks. Laying it on a bit thick there.

Steve laughs, but not at him; Eddie can tell now. “Go enjoy your Saturday, Munson.”

Eddie gives a lazy salute. “Ahoy.”

And as Eddie leaves, he spots a note on the counter, next to the usual Be kind, rewind reminders. It’s handwritten, with a cartoony winking face: And check what’s inside!

#this was meant to be a shitpost and become a fic woops #pre steddie #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #steve x eddie

[that-one-pretty-bitch]

Asmo: Breathe if you admit your love for MC or recite the bible in Japanese if you wont

Mammon, holding his breath: 初めに、神は天と地を創造されました。そして地球は形がなく、空っぽでした。そして闇が深淵の面にあった。そして、神の霊が水の面を動いた。....

Asmo: 

Asmo: Is that actually Japanese??

Levi: I can confirm that this in fact, is Japanese

Asmo: WHEN DID HE LEARN JAPANESE??

#obey me #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me shall we date #obey me quotes #omsd #obey me thoughts #obey me asmo #obey me mammon #obey me levi x reader #obey me ideas #obey me shitpost #obey me drabble #obey me ficlet #obey me humor #obey me joke #obey me leviathan #obey me x mc #obey me crack #obey me chaos #obey me nonsense #obey me main character

[nerdthatsiriuslylovesteaxx]

Anthony

"Angel!" Nothing, "Angel Dust!" Still no fucking response, "ANTHONY!"

"Don't call me that fucker."

"Great so you can hear me."

"What the fuck do you want?"

"You aren't going back to him."

"Leave me the fuck alone on that one Husker." He didn't even react to the Husker part,

"He's a fucked up bitch, he's fucking hurting you, you aren't going anywhere near him Anthony."

"Stop calling me that, and are you forgetting the fact that he fucking owns me?!"

"That doesn't make it any better."

"It's not like I have a choice, leave me the fuck alone Husk." Angel Dust walked straight out, ignoring any and all of the bartenders protest. Husk took a long sip of whiskey, another one who'd sold a soul without knowing what would come with it.

He'd locked himself in his room, there was nothing he could fucking do, he deserved this. He was in Hell for fucks sake he shouldn't be fucking surprised, he cried but it would never do anything, he was fucking helpless. At this point he was a living sex toy.

"One more time." He wanted to run,

"Of course." He said licking his lips. The chains, the lead, the lights. Nothing was new. He didn't feel it anymore, he couldn't fucking care anymore. Angel woke in a cold sweat, it was only a nightmare he told himself, but he knew it would happen tomorrow and every day to come after that. Another taste of those bitter lips, another day of getting used like a sex toy, what the fuck had his death come to?

He took a breath of nicotine in before throwing the cigarette out, he didn't need any more yelling today, he didn't know if he could handle it. He walked inside the hotel, sitting down at the bar.

"What's the strongest thing you got Husk?" Choosing to ignore the last conversation they had, sadly however, Husk didn't.

"We're not finished." He said in a matter of fact voice.

"Just give me something strong Husk, I don't have the energy for this."

"Later." Tears fell from his eyes,

"I- I just don't want to fucking feel right now."

"When you're in deep shit trust me being numb won't make any of your shit work out later."

"It's too much."

"Hey, listen to me Angel. We're going to get your soul back and that bitch away from you okay?"

"How?"

"You're forgetting we know the most powerful demons in Hell." They just sat in silence for a few minutes before they eventually moved on with the day, both hoping that this would be one of the last times Angel had to worry about Valentino. The one thing they had hope in.

#hazbin #hazbin angel dust #angel dust hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel shitpost #hazbin fanfic #hazbin fandom #huskerdust #husker hazbin hotel #hazbin husker #hazbin hotel husk #angel and husk are losers #hazbin husk #angel dust x husk #angel x husk #huskdust #angel dust #ficlet #Fic #Fanfic #Fanfiction

[infinite-orangepeel]

a sweet treat for eddie (a steddie blurb)

obsessed with the idea that all of the other employees at scoops ahoy! just assume that stobin are a full-fledged couple bc they spend all their time together, always request the same shifts, are generally affectionate with each other, and ridiculously codependent. their coworkers have no reason to believe they are anything but a couple other than the fact that they’ve never seen them kiss or heard them call each other boyfriend/girlfriend.

but that all changes when one day, in the middle of the summer, the town freak comes in looking for a sweet treat.

eddie munson saunters over to the counter, makes small talk with steve, and then asks for a few samples. he tastes each one off of the little wooden spoons steve hands him as the other coworkers watch from afar. noticing how eddie brushes a lock of steve’s hair out of the way and grabs his hand across the counter.

needless to say they are quite confused.

and then when eddie’s on his last sample he sticks the ice cream on his tongue, leaves it there, and drags steve in by the collar of his uniform for a very sticky kiss. leaving steve flushed pink and a bit dizzy, as he waves a flirty goodbye and promises to see him later.

and after eddie’s gone, one of steve’s coworkers comes rushing over to him with way too many questions on her mind.

coworker: um not to intrude but does robin know ?

steve: does robin know what ?

coworker: about you and eddie munson ??

steve: um yeah of course, she does ? why wouldn’t she ?

#steddie #steddie blurb #steddie ficlet #steddie au #steddie drabble #steddie ramble #steddie shitpost #steddie fic #steddie imagine #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #eddie x steve #fruity four #platonic stobin #stobin #qpr stobin #joe keery #joseph quinn #steve harrington/eddie munson

[lupeloto]

my body is a machine that can’t stop writing little tooth-rotting fluffy ficlets about these married gays in oddly-specific scenarios. there’s so many in my drafts i just CANT STOPPP

i just love writing them happy like…. angst? don’t know her

#shitposting with lupeloto #someone stop me #look at them though #how could i not write them happy? #lupeloto ficlets #she can’t stop #i’ll bombard ur timeline with them #mickey milkovich #gallavich #ian gallagher

[baambastic]

Tim Drake was a Nintendo DS kid. He used to take it with him everywhere. He had a ton of games for the system, but he spent more time messing with things like the camera, Flipnote, and the sound recorder with the little parakeet. Tim would take pictures of nature on the way to school and doodle in his DS during snacktime. But his favorite by far was the recording software, or the “bird game”, as little Timmy called it.

As often as he could, Tim would record everything his parents said to him. At the end of each day, he’d save the sound clips where his parents were proud of him, told him they loved him, etc. and delete the leftover clips to free up storage for the next day. Tim ended up getting a lot of SD cards for his DS just so he could save more sound clips.

Then, when Tim’s parents were traveling and Tim missed them, he would listen to the recordings of his parents, and he wouldn’t feel quite so alone.

Tim’s favorite one to listen to was a recording of his mom reading him a story; it was the only time he’d managed to convince her to do so, since she was usually too busy for that. His mom’s voice in the recording was soft and sweet, and she did terrible voices for all the characters, which always sent little Tim into fits of giggles. The recording was also interspersed with Tim making jokes that always made his mom laugh. Her laugh was richer than honey, and it always made Tim feel safe and warm, no matter how many times he heard it.

One day, though, while Tim’s parents were traveling, the DS slipped out of Tim’s hands and cracked open on the manor’s hardwood floor. He was inconsolable for a long while. He hid the broken DS away, and when his dad off-handedly asked him where it was, Tim lied and said that he was too old for a DS now, not wanting to admit that he’d broken it. The box of SD cards went to the back of Tim’s closet, and he gradually forgot about the whole thing.

————

Years later, Tim went to Drake Manor with Dick to gather up his belongings. With both his parents dead and the adoption papers signed, Tim was moving his stuff into his room in Wayne Manor. As Tim worked through the process of clearing out his closet, he came across a small, dusty box sitting against the back wall. Upon opening it, Tim realized it was his old box of SD cards for his broken DS. He grabbed the box, maybe out of nostalgia, and brought it out with his moving boxes. When Dick asked him about it, Tim told him the SD cards were for his old DS. An hour after they had finished moving Tim’s stuff into his room, Dick came back with an old DS in hand. He gave it to Tim then as a gift. Tim must have spent hours after that just going through all of his old SD cards. Each recording felt like a punch in the gut, but he listened to each one, each SD card a time capsule of his parents from his youth, from a happier time. Hearing his parents even in a recording seemed to loosen the ball of grief sitting in Tim’s chest, if only by a small amount.

————

Cut to the current day, and Tim’s family is fuller than it’s ever been. He has so many siblings, and he loves them all. Tim finally feels content, feels like he can truly call this family his.

Still, even after all these years, Tim sometimes misses his old family. And when he does, he still sits on his bed and listens to his mom read him a story.

#this was supposed to be a one-sentence shitpost #wtf happened #tim drake #nintendo ds #janet drake #jack drake #batfam #batfamily #dc robin #robin dc #red robin #dc red robin #batman #dick grayson #ficlet #drabble #writeblr #writing #writblr #angst #fluff #long post #🐍

[namelessbutters-doodles]

Dew: Wow! Looks like the cat's out of the Bag!

Rain: huh?

Dew: The cat's out of the bag.

Rain: Why is the Cat out of the bag?

Dew: it's a Saying rainy.

Rain: But Why Would there Be A Cat In a Bag, in the first Place?

Dew: rain....

Rain''Tearing Up'' Who Would Put a innocent Animal in a bag!?!

Dew: OH MY FUCKING GOD RAIN!

#shitghosting #shitposts #butter writes #ghost #the band ghost #ghost bc #ghost band #nameless ghouls #raindrop #dewdrop #dewdrop ghoul #fire ghoul #fire #rain #rain ghoul #mini ficlets #ghouls #prequelle ghouls #prequelle #impera #impera ghouls #rain x dewdrop

[cyeli-no]

4ggravate Pre-Proposal (Pt. 1)

—where it's just three Dendro fools simping over Cyno and wanting to have a perfect proposal for him

Linked Posts:

Part 2: 4ggravate Pre-Marriage: Doubts post

─── ⋅ ⋅ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Dehya and Candace are some of the first to hear about the decision because Al-Haitham, who became close to the duo throughout his time in the desert and with Cyno, wants to respect his culture in the proposal. It seems disrespectful to forego his background and his family when asking for Cyno's life and dedication.

Dehya is unrelenting with her teasing, offering help disguised as friendly banter. He nearly regrets telling her when it turns out Candace is the one to offer the most help. She gives him a few traditions common throughout the desert, but the Temple of Silence does not share the same customs as she does.

She tells him how Cyno once mentioned how suitors will gift jewelry made of gold and gems during the engagement. The proposee's family usually receives a dowry of some type, too. Between giving the dowry and presenting the gifts, a marriage contract is written. Typically, it is between the father and the suitor, but the individual is often included.

"It is not for permission, necessarily." She clarifies when she watches the frown begin to form on his expression, eyebrows tightening. The memory of Cyno's reaction when he realized how deeply the former sages mistreated and used him rests heavy in their minds. At least she can verify how much Al-Haitham truly cares. "In the end, it is up to the individual to accept the proposal and make adjustments to the contract. Simply, it is acknowledging the important of our families."

Al-Haitham does pause for a moment in deep contemplation. "Yes, that makes sense." He ends up deciding on, though Candace offers him a small smile.

She shakes her head, "You may not understand them completely, but I'm glad you care to know about our traditions." He takes it as the sign of approval that it actually is.

He leaves with Dehya, who smiles contently throughout the entire walk back. She tells him a bit about their traditional wedding rings and wedding celebration customs before admitting, "Knowing Tighnari, I suspected it wouldn't be a desert wedding. At least now, it'll be like bringing the desert to him."

Al-Haitham rejects that notion instantly. "We cannot bring the desert to him. I know nothing of the desert and all I have come to learn was brought by Cyno himself. It would be a mockery to do anything besides welcome what he brings." Dehya's eyes blink shut as they pause in their journey. She can feel the familiar heat against her skin and the smell of the desert winds.

"You've thought about this a lot, hm?" She teases lightly, his completely honest affirmation making her grin, "Good." She says something in a dialect Al-Haitham does not quite understand. He can understand a few vague phrases, but she explains it to him without being asked once she finishes, "It is an old prayer. May your future together be filled with happiness and love that even when you reach the afterlife, you will traverse those unknown lands together."

─── ⋅ ⋅ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Tighnari and Kaveh are quick to agree to the idea. Truth be told, they both wanted to do something for Cyno and were debating something similar. Luckily, it truly felt as if everything was perfect for them. Al-Haitham and his endless pockets could definitely afford the dowry (though Cyrus' actual acceptance might be a bit more difficult to get with his outright disdain for his darshan), Kaveh works on designing the jewelry himself, and Tighnari works on creating simple (maybe a bit more detailed than the ones Dehya described) rings for all four of them.

When they go to discuss their plans to propose with Cyrus, Al-Haitham is prepared to give an entire presentation. Tighnari takes over before Kaveh's stressed rants can start and before Al-Haitham says something that might make them lose Cyrus' good graces.

Cyrus frowns when they ask if they are allowed to propose to and to marry Cyno. "Asking me to give him over is quite the archaic request." He muses.

It is Kaveh who answers this. Tighnari and Al-Haitham may be more logical, but Kaveh is intently attuned to his emotions and the emotions of others. He knows Cyno and his desires well, "Cyno respects your opinion and would be hurt if we did not try to include his family." He pauses for just a second to gather his bearings. He doesn't want to bare his entire heart to his soon-to-be father-in-law (hopefully), but he knows the man respects honestly as much as his son. "Cyno always makes sure the memories of our families are a priority. As one of the only living relatives he has, your blessing will mean a lot to him... and to us as well."

Cyrus is not a man of few words. He has spoken at length about jokes, the main reason Cyno tries them to lighten the mood. Still, the air constricts Kaveh as he simply stares at the architect with a frown. Cyno might be scary to some, but his body becomes rigid under the intense staring of the General's father. However, he will not avert his eyes. He knows discomfort well and knows, as his throat tightens and nearly chokes the air out of his lungs, that the comfort and love of Cyno is worth every second.

"You are good kids." Cyrus finally nods at Kaveh and Tighnari. Kaveh's entire body eases at the affirmation, sucking in a sharp breath through his teeth in relief. He nearly misses how the man warily eyes Al-Haitham for a moment before he shakes his head with a low chuckle. "As long as Cyno is happy, my blessing is yours." It's a needless threat, Cyrus knows, but he feels better nonetheless.

("Do they make you happy?" He asked his son when the eventual topic of his partners came up.

In hindsight, it was quite a strange question to ask because the answer was so obvious. "Do I seem unhappy?" The younger man asked, the confusion answered by a fond smile.

Cyrus has always been better at expressing his love compared to his two top students. He ruffled Cyno's hair lightly, "No. I just want to know how they treat you."

Cyno nodded, accepting the explanation completely. "They love me," those three words were enough to ease Cyrus' heart, "more than anyone else can.

"And I love them the same.")

"Another word of warning." Cyrus mentions as they are leaving his house, "Lisa Minci will not allow you to marry him if you do not invite her to the engagement."

─── ⋅ ⋅ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

They, heeding Cyrus' advice, tell Lisa, Collei, Nahida, and Nilou. At one point, Tighnari gets worried they are telling too many people before even asking Cyno to marry them.

Al-Haitham just says, "They're family," and that's that.

Family, Tighnari echoes, when Collei runs up to hug him in her excitement. Family, he smiles, as Lisa smacks Kaveh lightly for waiting so long to ask the question. Family, he accepts, as Nilou and Nahida offer their help with wedding planning or support if they ever need it.

Family, he wishes for, when Cyno meets them for dinner with a bright smile, "I'm home." He glows despite the days of work coating his skin in dirt.

"Welcome home, love." Tighnari welcomes him closer and showers him with all the adoration he has been holding onto in the pits of his heart in anticipation of tonight. Tonight, to the world, they will become a family in every sense of the word.

Family, Tighnari learns, comes with the heat of the desert without any of the burning discomfort.

He cannot completely understand the clear discomfort and stress showing on the faces of the other two. They all know Cyno; he who is more devoted than anyone else will definitely say yes. And if he doesn't, he is nothing but kind. There is no world where they will be rejected cruelly.

The question hangs in the air, Cyno's eyes wide in surprise as he scans the three as if checking them for honesty. "Really?" It is a crime how soft his voice is. It is uncommon for him to be uncertain and it aches Tighnari's heart.

"We wouldn't ask if we weren't serious." It is a bit sassier than it needs to be, but his voice is firm to scare away his doubts.

It must do the trick because a breathless huff escapes him. Kaveh worriedly steps closer as garnet eyes glisten under the flickering candlelights, "Cyno—?"

"Yes." He answers them, and the gentle laugh that is slightly clogged by the tears welling in his eyes is the loveliest sound. "Yes..."

The second time is enough to rip Al-Haitham out of his stupor to reach out and catch Cyno's face in his hands. He presses a kiss to the top of the General's head, sighing away his stress, "Good."

Kaveh nearly shoves the man aside in his haste to hug Cyno. The latter's laughter fills the air as Kaveh falls onto his lap, "Sevens above, I adore you." He says, planting kisses on his cheeks.

Cyno can't get a word in as Tighnari's tail curls around his arm, dragging his attention to the side. Whispering against his ear and affectionately nuzzling him, "We're yours forever."

Forever... Forever sounds lovely.

#cyno #4ggravate #haino #cynonari #tighcyno #kavehno #alhaitham and cyno #cyno and tighnari #cyno and kaveh #cyno and dehya #candace and cyno #alhaitham and candace #alhaitham and dehya #cyno and other(s) #alhaitham truly loves cyno #ficlet #4ggravate marriage era #shitposting at 3 am is my love language

[smolalienbee]

KIM KITSURAGI - “It’s nice to meet you, detective.” The lieutenant extends his hand towards you. For some reason, you feel compelled to take it - and so, without thinking much of it, you do.

YOU - Why did I just do that?

LOGIC (Failure) - Uh… Um…

ENCYCLOPEDIA (Failure) - The ritual you’re currently engaging in with the lieutenant is named hand holding. It is a gesture shared between lovers or close friends, typically signifying a deep bond between them.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY (Failure) - Why does a man hold another man’s hand? To feel its warmth?

REACTION SPEED (Failure) - Just don’t let go! It’d be weird if you let go now!

KIM KITSURAGI - “Detective, is everything alright?”

YOU - If this signifies a deep bond… then who is he to me?

ESPRIT DE CORPS (Failure) - Your half brother.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY (Success) - Oh that is definitely NOT why you’re holding his hand right now.

VOLITION - You’ve been silent for the last ten minutes. You should say something.

YOU - “Kim… do we share a more profound bond?”

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant stares at you, wordlessly. Despite his shock, he does not let go of your hand.

NEW THOUGHT GAINED: Hands?

#smolalienbeewrites #disco elysium #kimharry #kim kitsuragi #harry du bois #kim x harry #harry x kim #de #ficlet #kind of #more of a shitpost really #this happened because of a convo in the feral server because of course it did

[adankrivervalleynearyou]

warbler chatfic drabble

Jeff: hottest new directions member go

Wes: My girlfriend.

Jeff: laaaaaaame

Sebastian: Blaine

Nick: besides Blaine

Nick: I like the blonde one

Trent: Quinn? yeah she's really pretty

Nick: no the guy

Sebastian: the one with the weird mouth who did that Magic Mike move at nationals???

Nick: YES

Nick: him.

Sebastian: no way you're thirsting over Fish Bait.

Jeff: I'm with bas on this one

Trent: Nick, I'm on your side

Trent: He's cute

Sebastian: I hate gay people

Wes: Sebastian, you're gay.

Nick: like super gay

Jeff: like ultra high school level gay

Sebastian: I multitask.

#uhh have this I guess #glee #glee incorrect quotes #gleeposting #gleek #dalton academy warblers #warblers #sebastian smythe #nick duval #jeff sterling #wes montgomery #trent idk his last name #niff #listen I did not say I was immune to niff #they slay #and I love curt mega #blaine anderson #quinn fabray #sam evans #just mentioned though #new directions #glee season 3 #drabble #wip #ficlet #chatfic #I referenced that one kokichi audio #im probably spelling that wrong #shitpost

[crowleys-hips]

Child Of The Cosmos

a Crowley pov poem

Child of the cosmos

you were born to paint with starlight

but you are forced to paint with the blood

that oozes from your wounds

using the trickle of time as your canvas

where you splatter swirls of brightness

that cut through the ashen sky

like claw marks that tear into the fabric of

reality and cling onto the flesh of the Earth,

desperately seeking the warmth of another

who won't let go

And you'll swim in the flames of your own stars

and burn until your charred remains

become the charcoal that you use

to sketch your life with

When your essence is born anew

in a body that begs to be known

beyond flesh and bone and sinews

beyond time, beyond reason

and the world demands a new name from you

who will you chose to be?

the doomed, crippled fiend

with no control of his own destiny?

that creeping sense of malaise

that follows your every move

through dirt, water, ice, and sulfur?

or

the desire that consumes you?

the stubborn hope that the universe

never managed to snuff out?

the idiotic optimism that despite all your agony,

has survived on sheer headstrong willpower?

you know very well who you are.

you just have to admit it to yourself.

now go. give them hell, kid

(originally posted in my poetry blog)

tag list under the cut

@wibbly-wobbly-blog @phantomram-b00 @crowleys-bentley-and-plants @charlotte-zophie @feiandart @crowleys-curl @im-the-j-in-anthony-j-crowley @quoththemaiden @thewibblylever @halcyonnnn

i made this list at random. if you wanna be added/removed from the list let me knowww

#xan writes stuff #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens s2 #good omens ficlet #good omens fics #good omens fanfic #good omens fanfics #crowley #crowley good omens #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots #ineffable partners #ineffable lovers #ineffable fandom #aziracrow #air conditioning #poetry #original poem #original poetry #good omens fic #good omens writing #good omens meta #good omens shitpost #good omens memes #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #demonic ramblings

[dequirkiest]

How you found out Izuku likes to be pegged

a/n Inspired by the above linked shitpost by @bnha-simpin-and-pimpin about how Deku sleeps ass up, face down as we have seen many times throughout the show. On your wedding night, you wake up to see him sleeping like this next to you.

y/n afab x Izuku Midoriya

Inspired by a shit post, established relationship, wedding night, pegging, blow jobs, sleeping ass up, light emasculation, no set dynamics, fluff and smut, 18+

Izuku likes to sleep with his face down in a pillow, ass up in the air. It awakens a desire you didn't know you had... and Izuku doesn't seem to mind.

Now that you are sleeping together every night, you notice Izuku always sleeps face down, ass up. He can't seem to sleep any other way. He seems peaceful despite it looking so uncomfortable to you!

The sight of him sleeping like that sets you on edge. You both have had the most amazing sex since you got together, so it's not that you're unsatisfied- there is just something so arousing about the way he sleeps.

Your infatuation with his ass only gets worse the longer you're with him, it's as if he is presenting it for you to have your way with. Years of work outs have made his figure muscular, and you want so badly to reach over and grab him, make him feel good however you can. You have a suspicion that Izuku will like this more than he is willing to admit just yet. You are determined to prove to him you can make him feel better than he has ever felt before, by any means necessary.

You start slow- next time you give him a blow job you ask if you can try something new. You lube up your finger and slowly run it between his legs, circling the tight muscles of his asshole. Each time you suck you brush your finger over the ring making him gasp from the new sensation. When he seems comfortable with the idea and hasn't backed away, you slide your finger in up to the first knuckle and feel his breath hitch. You stick with one finger for now, continuing to suck until he finishes hard and fast.

The next few times you mess around you finger him - starting slow with one and working your way up to three. Now he begs for your fingers in addition to your mouth. His ears turn pink as he begs, "y/n, if you keep fucking me like that I'm going to last much longer... love this, love you so much"

He surprises you by researching and ordering a strap on - correctly guessing how badly you want to use it on him, to see him squirm with pleasure under you. After weeks of being teased with just your fingers, Izuku is more than ready to jump into something bigger.

You tease him the way he teases you before sex, "ass up baby girl, just like you always sleep" and he complies without a second thought, bent over on his hands and knees, hard cock bobbing by his thighs. Even in this pose he is masculine, giving you the best view of his shoulder and back muscles while you work him open. He is flushed from the exertion of holding this position he isn't used to, but he is so lost in your fingers he barely notices the discomfort. You pepper kisses from his hips and up his back to his neck, struggling to reach the top of his taller form.

He hears you tighten the strap around your waist as you make sure the harness sits over your clit. He whimpers as you scratch his back with your fingers, relaxing into your touch. You lube up the strap, making sure your fingers glide over the material smoothly.

" Ready Izuku? Relax for me, I'm going to start pushing in now baby. I love you Izuku, going to make you feel so good I promise. Going to fuck you so good Izuku".

It's a lot more work than you expected, aiming to hit his prostate with each elongated thrust. The extra work is worth it to see Izuku laid out in front of you, overcome with pleasure as you pound into him with your strap.

He begs you for more, each thrust pulling a moan from his mouth. The more you encourage him, the more he moans out praise "Feels incredible y/n...I never thought it would feel this good...please keep going"

You reach around and manage to grab his cock in your hand, stroking in time with your thrusts. Izuku is so close, you can tell by the way he squeezes his eyes shut just before his orgasm. He is shaking as you encourage him to keep going.

"Cum on my cock Izuku, I know you want to. Fucking cum for me Izuku, just like this. I want to feel you cum around my cock". You babble as he tips over into pleasure and you help him work through his orgasm.

When you're both blissed out and snuggling in bed, you can't help but think about how this all started from that goofy sleeping position he is always in. You always knew your Deku would enjoy being a bottom.

#this shitpost gave me deku gets pegged brainrot #inspired by that episode where deku is asleep ass up in the hospital because all might body slammed him #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #boku no hero #my hero academia drabble #mha ficlet #bnha ficlet #mha #bnha #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #y/n #midoriya x reader #izuku x reader #smut #bnha smut #bnha x reader #self insert #mha drabble #bnha drabble #fluff #bnha fluff #mha fluff #mha smut #pegging deku #soft midoriya izuku

[little-soldiers]

Blood seeps through Quackity's shirt. He rocks a bit in his place before falling onto his side.

Behind him, someone steps out from the darkness. Maximus’ stomach drops. He can hear Bad gasp.

It's them. The real mastermind.

And finally, the show can begin.

—

"D-Dantdm-?!" Maximus hollers.

"Holy fudge... You- You fudgin' madman..." Bad refuses to look into DanTDM’s eyes.

(((((((((COPYPASTA))))))))

#THIS IS NOT A REAL FICLET THIS IS A SHITPOST / COPYPASTA #ramblings #qsmp

[gt-preys]

Thinking about prey relaxing against their pred's neck as the two watch TV together. The pred not wanting to make their prey move, cups a hand over them as they sit up to grab their can off the table. The prey is pressed flush against the pred's throat, forced to listen as the pred takes a few strong gulps. The neck muscles running against them as the giant drinks.

It doesn't last long, a minute or so at most, but for the prey it feels longer.

Eventually the pred puts their can down and lays down, settling once more on the couch. Completely oblivious to blushing mess they've left their tiny in.

#prey speaks #vore talk #vore thoughts #totally not thinking of this being E/ddie #pred #prey #v/ore #giant #vore shitpost #vore ficlet