#and i perceived that to mean that they didn't care at all about what i was saying

[entropyunending]

babygirl there is absolutely nothing normal about my emotions. i can blow up at the littlest of things and feel like everyone hates me at the tiniest hint of rejection like you wouldn't BELIEVE

#🔪 #god i just want to have normal reactions to things #especially when i have to fucking internalize every explosive reaction i have #i have to just disappear or pretend everything is fine or literally just stop saying a single word #because otherwise i will blow up on people and i will fuck everything up #and i will ruin relationships because of my own emotions that i can't control and have a mind of their own #i know internalizing them isn't what i should do but what other option do i have? #i can't talk about them. i can't let them show. #because they are overreactions #and it's not anyone's fault #i can't tell them how awful they make me feel because they are literally not at fault at all #they're not doing a single thing wrong but my brain is overreacting and perceiving that they are #even though i KNOW they aren't #so why the fuck would i tell them that their perfectly normal actions are making me feel like everyone hates me #that's not a normal or okay reaction to have #especially when all that happened was they just gave the same one word response multiple times in a row when i was talking about something #and i perceived that to mean that they didn't care at all about what i was saying #and that i'm annoying and should just shut the fuck up and never talk about anything i'm excited about or like ever again #because no one wants to actually hear it and all i will do is annoy everyone #like that's. not a normal reaction to have and it's completely unjustified so i can't just. say that.

[colorisbyshe]

I just came across a tweet saying that Aaron Bushnell--the man who burned himself to death while yelling Free Palestine until he couldn't anymore--will be "in the history books" and that phrase has been coming up a lot. And it chafes me every time I read it, every time I hear it.

Cause, a. no, a lot of this won't be in the American history books. American atrocities, especially those overseas but even those against American people (especially American people of color), don't go in the literal history books. Or the figurative ones. Most American atrocities are wiped from the collective memory... sometimes as soon as they happen. They go unreported (like the first person to self immolate to protest this genocide), they go erased, they go whitewashed, they go falsely recontextualized, and they get twisted into pro-America sentiment--we were right for those atrocities, we were wrong for them but we learned, we didn't learn from it but we felt bad about it and should be comforted for that soreness.

And b. is harder to verbalize but I'm gonna try. It feels... performative in the literal sense. Like we only value what is happening today out of deference for how people in the future will perceive it. We aren't doing anything to change anything NOW, to care about other people NOW, but so that one day... we'll be remembered a caring. Like this man killed himself as gesture, as a move for his legacy.

And I see this phrase--"this will be remembered in the history books"--whipped out in extremely horrific contexts. A child's dead body hanging off a wall, "oh, this will be in the history books." What does that even mean? Was her death worth the historical context? Was it necessary to embellish the horror of it all?

Would the people reading these hypothetical history books not get the wrongness of the genocide without the death of a little girl that you're using as... window dressing?

It just seems so weirdly self satisfied. Like you're eager to note you just witnessed a real moment that people will remember decades from now. When... a lot of people won't which is what is so tragic. A lot of people don't even know it's happening right now.

Because, again, it's not being reported. And when it is being reported it's not being reported honestly.

I'm not saying this well but it just feels like such a gross reaction to things we're seeing in real time.

Why does it have to matter later to matter now? Why is the hypothetical reaction of a history book reader the thing you think about?

A lot of people won't live to read those "history books" because people, right now, aren't doing anything to help them.

#idk it feels like people want to pat themselves on the back #for witnessing an 'important' moment

[whathorselegs]

So we all know this scene, right?

And we know how Dazai tries to handle it by pretending to be a scared kid and Chuuya interrupts him to challenge the guy to a fight, because I have been thinking about these tactics recently.

Dazai is not really mafia at this point, this is his first mission. He's still somewhat naive to the world of gangs, even if he's witnessed it, he's not lived it like Chuuya has. This tactic of acting like a scared little kid, definitely feels like something Dazai pulled when trying to get away with things around regular adults. I mean, look how easily he turns on those tears, it's practiced, he's used to it working.

He's responding to what the guy is saying, he calls them "kids" and looks confused as to why kids are here. Dazai then selects the defenceless innocent act as a way to get out of being held at gun point and possibly get information.

He's used to this kind of thing working, but the fact is, if Chuuya hadn't interrupted him, it most likely wouldn't of. Because Dazai doesn't know the type of enemy he's up against, he doesn't know these people are willing to cross the line and harm kids yet.

Look at these panels closely. The panel before Dazai starts faking crying the gun is pointed directly at him,

whilst he starts his crying act in the panels previously mentioned, the gun is still squarely on him, and afterwards

In the top panel it is still pointing at him, until Chuuya speaks. His tactic isn't working. The enemy never wavers or lowers his gun, he either doesn't believe Dazai or doesn't care.

Chuuya sees that. He sees the gun still pointing at Dazai. He looks annoyed in the first panel above because this man, as far as he knows, is pointing a gun at an innocent kid.

And as soon as Chuuya speaks, the gun shifts to him. Chuuya, King of Sheep, protector and shield. A boy so used to defending those weaker than him, he smiles when he's able to get the attention of a man holding a gun. As far as Chuuya is concerned at this point, Dazai might as well be as defenceless as the rest of The Sheep. Sure, he has his ability No Longer Human, but what good is that against a grown man with a gun? So Chuuya defends him the same way he defends his friends.

And he makes sure to keep that attention on him whilst he tests this man. Yeah, we know he puts his head to the gun to transfer his ability, but I also think it's important that Chuuya waits in this moment. He doesn't just take this guy out because of a perceived threat, he waits until it's confirmed. Chuuya doesn't throw the first punch because Chuuya doesn't start fights, he fights back. Just like The Sheep said, he hits their enemies back a thousand times harder.

Dazai complains Chuuya interrupted him here, but Dazai was completely out of his depth in this moment. Chuuya didn't ruin his plan, he saved his life.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #bsd skk #soukoku #bsd fifteen #back at it with the manga long posts #reading way too much into scenes at 2am because my tummy hurts and I can't sleep

[eggonthemoon]

Alien Stage Round 6 Character Analysis and Lyrics Breakdown

Okay so obviously spoilers, don't click Keep Reading if you haven't watched Round 6.

God fuck it's so fucking beautiful, where do I start?

I don't even know what is going on with those rapid shots of what I assume is some form of experiment that Till was involved in. I have no clue what the goal was or if it succeeded but somehow (for no real reason other than that one image of Luka standing behind Till ominously) I feel that Luka is involved with it.

Was this an attempt by Heperu's (Luka's guardian) rival to make a human capable of going up against Luka? Till being the youngest and Luka being the oldest also means that Till's guardian could have caught on to what Heperu was planning to do with Luka and then start experimenting on humans shortly after and it would still somewhat line up with the timeline.

But I'm getting into conspiracy territory, back to suffering!!

Allow me, to the tips of your fingers

Allow me, to the ends of your feet

Dissolve me in your gaze

I don't want to let you go

Oh this hurts. Seeing him look so defeated and exhausted, you can tell that even though to the public it's not certain whether Mizi died or not it doesn't matter to him. Because she's still gone away from his world, where he is unable to reach her. He wants to dissolve and die but he also doesn't want to let her go if there is even a sliver of hope that she lives.

Please, leave me scars

Please, hurt me so that

Not a single drop of me remains

Let me drown in you

The footage that plays to these lyrics really show how defeated he is. He refuses to sing, his passion for the art completely dead and buried. And (his guardian I assume) when someone shoves the fact that Mizi is gone in his face he lashes out and punches one of the aliens near him.

Until these falling stars

Are buried in the blur of time

However his heart isn't entirely in it and is quickly apprehended.

He is beyond exhausted and doesn't even protest or put up a fight while (the same alien he punched btw) another alien runs their fingers through his hair.

On your icy lips

Read my soul

Yes, my soul

He hopes that even if Mizi is dead that her spirit watches over him, seeing his soul and by extension, Him, for all that he is. Every thought and breath until he falls asleep is for Mizi.

But didn't we already know this is how he'd be like? Time for something juicier~

Even if your cold words

Carve scars beneath my eyes

May they linger on your tongue

You can break me apart

God this is heart shattering. Even if Till doesn't care for him, even if Till throws hurtful words his way, Ivan will still lie awake at night, cherishing what sliver of attention he is given. It doesn't matter if Till hates him, because as long as he is on Till's mind Ivan is happy. He is entirely in Till's hands, capable of being build up or torn down depending on how much (or how little) he is perceived by him.

Notice my pain

And mend me right now

To quiet my fears

I'll drown in you

He wants so deeply to be seen by Till, noticed. Till who doesn't let anything hold him down and always picks himself back up became a pillar of hope and strength to Ivan. It didn't matter how or in what context he gets to be seen, so he went out of his way to provoke him just to get Till to look at him even for a moment.

This was mentioned a while back on VIVINOS Patreon but the entire incident where Mizi and Till got attacked by that hound monster was orchestrated by him. I feel like there is two possible reasons for this depending on when in the timeline this takes place.

Either he wanted to test Till's resolve in hopes of being proven wrong about his courage (after all your hopes can't be dashed on the rocks, if you never had hopes to begin with) only for his obsession to end up growing even stronger than before.

Or he tried to let Till get roughed up enough that he'd be transferred (solitary confinement? emergency room?) somewhere else away from the others at Anakt, so they could escape together.

But we all know how that turned out.

Either way what Ivan wants isn't freedom, he's long since given up on that. There's no point in his freedom if the person that inspired him to yearn for it isn't by his side. He needs Till there, his very presence to reassure him that no matter what Till won't falter. But he failed to take account of the one thing that weakens Till's resolve.

Mizi.

Mizi is to Till what Till is to Ivan. And so without Mizi in his world Till crumbles. Since Till will only go where Mizi is and Mizi already gave away her heart to someone else, it's impossible for Ivan to be free while keeping Till in his world.

And so he follows him, resigning himself to a life without freedom.

Sick of these nights to come

To be engulfed in silence

But the distance between them is killing him, and each and every day they come closer to their inevitable doom.

It doesn't matter if they believe the lie the aliens told them, that if they die singing they will be blessed. Because what is the point in that? How can going somewhere far away from the people they love be a blessing?

In your gaze where I am seen

Consume me

Yes, me

His desires mirror Till's. He wants his soul to be seen by him, recognized for his undying love for him. He wants Till to see that he can give him all that Till yearns for in Mizi and more.

To this everlasting melody

Face to face we dance

And yet Till still refuses to look Ivan in the eyes.

Things get a little unclear but since they aren't shown singing here and there's no flashback to accompany the lyrics, we can assume that at this moment Till most likely gave up on singing.

With our story

Lost in forever's embrace

I'm not sure if Ivan intended this from the start or if it's a decision he made then and there but one thing is certain. If Till stops singing then that would mean he forfeits, he'll lose. Till has never once given up. Even when he went back for Mizi that night, he never intended to leave her in the first place. But now without her he crumbles.

And Ivan can't let that happen, not like this.

Moral grey area aside, this scene is so deeply moving to me

And I don't say that in a romantic context, absolutely not. This is something much deeper than just love. This is the culmination of everything they've been through, all those moments lead up to this.

Because this isn't a kiss.

This is Ivan throwing his life away for Till.

Till was going to loose, the only thing that could overturn that is if his opponent attacks him. The kiss was to distract Till and keep him from catching up to what Ivan was planning.

Just look at the contrast between their first and second kiss. As soon as the score board shows Till is in the lead, he gives him a gentle peck on the lips. The contrast is stark and full of meaning. This was the genuine kiss, hidden behind a smokescreen of aggressive bravado created from the previous one.

And it worked. Till was completely convinced that Ivan's intentions was to kill him, and he was fully intent on letting him.

I know a lot of people doubted his intentions. Because he didn't let go of Till's neck the minute he saw their scores, a lot of people assume that this was Ivan trying to drag Till down with him.

But the minute he coughed up blood what does he do?

He smiles.

and let's Till go.

He's only human. He might know logically that Till has won the match. But emotionally he refuses to let go until he is certain.

Until he knows for a fact that he is the one bleeding and dying he'll keep up his charade.

And then.

And only then.

Till truly sees Ivan.

As he dissolves in his gaze.

#THEY RUINED MY LIFE /POS #I FUCKING HATE THEM /AFFECTIONATE #ivantill #alnst till #alnst ivan #alnst mizi #alnst #alien stage #에이스테 #ramble rumble #I don't know what happened #I had a thought and a neuron activated #I think I might have ascended #alnst spoilers #alnst round 6

[eggcats]

A really funny idea would be that practically all main Alastor ships are canon, but Alastor HIMSELF is the only one who doesn't know he's in a polycule. (RadioRose, RadioHusk, RadioDust, RadioApple)

(They don't tell him because he doesn't handle being confronted with caring about others very well, and the last time it was implied, he ghosted and didn't talk to Husk for almost a decade. Alastor is very dedicated to being the untouchable Radio Demon, and if you try to make him come to terms with the idea of being Perceived, he freaks out.)

And so, when Angel and Husk notice Lucifer and Alastor starting to circle each other, they grab Lucifer to tell him the Rules of the Polycule.

H: "Hey, we noticed you giving Al eyes, we wanted to let you know how to go about this since he's dating us too."

L: "Oh shit! I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

H: "Nah, you're welcome in. We just gotta give you the ground rules because the last time I didn't, it didn't end well for anyone."

L: "What."

A: "Smiles isn't big on being seen as soft, so you just gotta avoid letting him know he IS, is all."

H: "Here's our current schedule, let us know the best times for you and we'll adjust it fairly."

L: "You....you have a SCHEDULE???"

And they hand him a sheet that's basically like:

No telling Alastor about the polycule!

No telling Alastor anything that implies he is soft or cares about you or anyone in the polycule! (He WILL disappear for another 7 years, and everyone else in the polycule will be mad at you)

No trying to force Alastor into doing anything with you (Obviously!)

Ask before joining someone else's Alastor Time(tm) (One on one time isn't always required, but it's just rude to hijack it for no reason)

Try to stick to the schedule the best you can (adjustments are allowed with prior notice, other conflicts, or Alastor himself asking you to do something outside your time)

Dating others (in and outside the polycule) is fine, just be respectful

Respect everyone else in the polycule!

VOX IS NOT ALLOWED IN THE POLYCULE

DO NOT LET VOX SEE THE SCHEDULE

L: "What's...what's with numbers 8 and 9? The TV guy???"

H: "Ugh, he's the reason FOR these rules! I tried to let him join me and Rosie a few years back, and instead he tried to make Alastor his own, permanently. Not only did he tell Alastor that they were dating, and tried to force him to join the Vees, he tried to kick me and Rosie out of the picture! Dealing with that mess was a NIGHTMARE. It took Rosie months to get him to talk to her again, and he practically ignored me before he completely disappeared. We JUST got everything back to normal after that mess."

L: "Uh, okay. Got it, no Vox."

And then, without Alastor ever noticing, he just gets another member of his polycule.

#hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #radiodust #radiohusk #radioapple #radiorose #mine #fic

[motherlvr]

can you write something grumpy!42miles x sunshine!reader? where he’s always kinda mean but cares about her but they end up together

this prompt is so cute tysm for the req!!

Word count: About 1,600

Pairing: Grumpy Earth-42! Miles Morales x Sunshine! f! reader

Summary: The line between just classmates and something more is thin. Miles and You seemed to be walking that line.

Warnings: (begrudgingly) friends to lovers, he's a bit mean, fluff, minimal cursing, classmates to lovers, pure fluff, cannot contain the fluff, reader is a little slow, this is short and cute, spanish grammar is not my strong suit

A/N: if i haven't gotten to your request yet, its still a wip but will be posted soon!

_________

You were boisterously laughing. Obnoxiously, even. The guy’s joke wasn’t even that funny.

Miles called your name out with an aggravated tone,

"Would it kill you to shut up for a second?"

You promptly responded, "Would it kill you to lighten up for once?"

He regrets not skipping this class.

That was partially a lie. In reality, he didn’t care for this class at all. He only came to see you. You were one of the few people who put up with him.

Miles and you always sat together during class. "Unassigned assigned seats", you'd call it. But that’s all you were. Seat partners. That was the way it was, and the way it would stay. And he was fine with that, at least he tried to convince himself.

The next day, the seat next to Miles was empty. It hasn’t been empty since the first day you met.

If you asked Miles how you both met, he’d say you forced your way into his life. However, you’d say that you saw through his “cold guy” facade and he opened up his heart to you. He was a good guy if you had the patience. That was only one of the many things he admired about you. Your optimism.

He saw you across the room. You were sitting with someone else. A guy. What was his name again? Miles couldn't recall. That was how irrelevant he was to Miles.

"Is this seat taken?" Miles looked up to the voice that had spoken, hoping it was somehow you. However, as he glanced up, an unfamiliar face was staring at him.

"Nah." He muttered, not sparing her another look.

She introduced herself and told Miles her name, but he wasn't listening. He was listening to your laugh. How could he not? Your laugh was practically drowning out every other voice in the room. At least, that’s how he perceived it.

You were giggling at whatever the guy next to you said. But this time, he wished it was him making you laugh. That guy didn't deserve to hear you laugh, or see you smile.

He couldn't stand your laugh unless he was the cause of it. Miles didn’t pay attention to the lesson that day. He was occupied staring daggers into your back. Yet you never noticed.

You sat next to Miles the day after, as usual. It was an unspoken agreement, and you had broken it the day prior.

Immediately as you sat down, Miles started interrogating you.

"You left me with some random girl to go flirt with that moron? He's a dick." He scoffed at you, nodding his head towards the guy that you left him for yesterday.

Right, like you're not. You thought. "He's really not, he's a good guy!" You defended him and continued, "Plus, your partner was super smart. She was probably more help than I could’ve been.”

"Ella no es tú. What else can I say, ma?" Miles casually said.

You tried to hide your grin but failed as a smile spread across your face. The corner of his lip curled in a small smirk. If you blinked, you would have missed it.

"I’m sorry for 'leaving you', Miles. But don’t worry, I prefer you over him anyway." You smiled brightly at him. And for a second, his stoic heart gleamed.

"I wasn't worried." He grumbled.

"You sure? I mean, whatever you say.” You grinned amusedly at him.

The rest of the class period followed as usual. But this time, before the bell rang, Miles bottled up his dignity to ask you, "Ay ma, wanna hang out after school?"

You raised a skeptical brow at his unusual behavior, "What, you starting to like me now? I thought you couldn't tolerate me." You probed.

Oblivious to you, he does more than just tolerate you. He was growing fond of your presence. He was starting to miss the sound of your giggle echoing within the room when he wasn’t around you.

But he couldn't find the courage to tell you just yet. Instead, he murmured, "I can tolerate you. Out of most of these people in here, anyway."

"I'm kidding. Yeah, I'm down, Miles." You teased him and agreed.

What you didn't know is that your initial question wasn't very far from the truth.

The school day couldn’t have passed any slower. If you were being honest, you were eagerly anticipating spending more time with Miles out of school.

The final bell of the day rang, and Miles held up to his side of the agreement. He met up with you after school.

Walking side-by-side, you asked, "What've you got planned for us today, Miles? You gonna wine and dine me?" you winked at him.

"Maybe another day, mami." He cracked a slight grin as he responded, fond of your antics.

"I'll hold you to that. I've got a better idea, anyway." You said as you heard a familiar song ringing through the atmosphere.

You yanked Miles by his arm and pulled him, "Look, an ice cream truck! I haven't seen one of those in forever. Let's go!"

A rare smile adorned Miles' face. Not that you saw it. You were too busy chasing after the ice cream truck and dragging him along.

You approached the ice cream truck. The ice cream man greeted you, "Hey guys! What can I get for you today?"

Without missing a beat, you said "Hello! Can I get the Spongebob popsicle please?" with a bright smile.

Miles ordered his right after you. "Coming right up!" The ice cream man said. He shortly returned with both your orders in hand.

As you tried to give the owner cash, Miles lowered your hand gently and said, "Let me pay for you." It was more of a demand as he handed cash to the man.

You couldn't contain the surprise that formed on your face. "Really? Thank you, Miles! You didn't have to do that, y’know." You reached up to him and peppered a kiss on his cheek as a token of gratitude. "Nah, I wanted to." He dismisses it with a shrug.

The man gave you both your ice creams and said, "Have a good day!"

"Young love. A beautiful thing to see." The owner of the truck said as you both walked away.

You both sat on a bench surrounded by a garden of blooming flowers. It was quite scenic for Brooklyn. "Miles, look. He only has one eye!" You chuckled as you showed him your popsicle.

Unbeknownst to you, you had ice cream smeared on your face. He leaned in to wipe the corner of your mouth with his thumb, his gaze lingering on your lips. An almost too-intimate action for people who were just "classmates." But you brushed it off as him being friendly for a change.

"You're a mess, mami." He chuckled, shaking his head at you. You ignored how he made your stomach do flips.

Miles had led you to a rooftop that he frequents. It had an incredible view of the sun, despite all the tall buildings encased around you two.

Miles and you spent the rest of the evening together, basking in the presence of one another. You conversed for hours, only realizing the time when the sun started to set. Comfortable moments of silence were exchanged as you watched the sun disappear from the sky, the moon soon replacing it.

“It’s a full moon, isn’t it just beautiful?” You admired the moon as it shone down on the sullen streets of Brooklyn.

"Yeah, It is." He replied, but he wasn't looking at the moon. If you had just turned your head, you'd realize the true meaning of his words. He hadn't even noticed the moon. His eyes were fixated on you instead. He believed that the moon couldn't even hold a candle to you.

"Why haven't we done this before, Miles? I enjoyed hanging out with you today." You felt harmonious with him for once, laying your head against his shoulder as you studied his face.

"I did too, princesa. Maybe I will just wine and dine you someday." Miles said with a smirk, gazing down into your eyes with a borderline smitten expression.

A lightbulb suddenly enlightened your brain. You mentally banged your head against a wall. How could you be so naive to not realize it sooner?

You broke the tension in the air and raised your head to look into his eyes. "Is this a date? You know, people that are 'just' classmates don't go on dates." You told him cheekily.

Could he not have made it more obvious? He paused for a moment and said, “I don’t want to be just classmates.”

“So you want to be best friends? Great! Me too." You grinned, feigning naivety.

His face immediately dropped as he facepalmed himself. "Dios mío, no. That's not what I meant. Never mind, olvídalo." He said, shaking his head.

You beamed at him and laced your fingers with his. “I’m just messing with you, Miles. I like you too. In case you haven't noticed."

He sighed of relief as he lifted your entwined hands to press a soft kiss to the back of your hand. You stayed in each other's embrace for the rest of the night.

From that day forward, you never broke the unspoken agreement ever again. And Miles never had to worry about you associating with another douche again. Excluding himself.

You walked into class hand-in-hand the next day. The following days, as well. That's the way it was, and that's the way it would stay. And both of you were content with that.

_________

ella no es tú - she's not you

dios mío - my god

olvídalo - forget it

princesa - princess

#earth 42 miles morales x reader #miles morales x reader #across the spiderverse #into the spider verse #jealousy #miles morales spider man #miles morales x y/n #miles morales x you #prowler miles #spider man #earth 42 #prowler miles morales #prowler!miles x reader #miles morales prowler #prowler!miles #miles morales #friends to lovers

[milesmolasses]

pretty baby (e-42 miles x black! fem!reader)

— car rides with miles nvr fail to make u queazy

— ⚠️: light cursing, slightly suggestive, slight angst, kinda sensitive reader

"you are unbelievable, y'know that?"

sitting in the car scrunched up with your legs close to your chest, you turned your whole body away from the driver's seat, trying to avoid any and all contact with the driver. after what happened today, you didn't think you could ever face miles again, too embarrassed to talk to him the entire car ride.

"it wasn't even that big a deal baby, i'm sure nobody even cared like that," he chuckled. he thought it was childish how such small moments could affect your mood for such wildly long periods of time.

"I sucked the syrup off your fingers miles, in front of all your friends. i'm humiliated!" you cried, putting your hands over your face and bending down into your lap; anything to avoid eye contact with him.

looking back at the road with a smirk on his face, he said, "if it makes you feel better, I didn't mind it..-"

"MILES!" you whined as you snapped your head in his direction. "how could you say that to me right now?!"

"oh– ok i'm sorry baby, but that doesn't mean you have to act like this-!"

you rolled your head back as you groaned and covered your face with your hands again; he didn't get it. the way you were perceived was extremely important to you, especially in front of people who you deemed important. you didn't want your boyfriends' friends to perceive you as some sort of sex fiend.

"just drive miles. you don't get it."

furrowing his eyebrows, he turned the block and pulled into a mcdonalds parking lot near your house. "then make me understand, hm? why are you letting this stupid shit affect you?"

"oh my god miles just take me home, please I don't wanna talk about it–"

"no, see 'cause now you have my attention, what's the matter?" if there was one thing you knew about miles, it's that he won't let shit go, especially when it comes to you.

"miles, i swear to god if you don't drive me home i'm gonna get out this car and walk," you threatened. you could feel tears begin to form in your eyes and the burning feeling you get in your gut when you're about to cry. miles noticed your chest rising and falling, a telling sign you were about to cry; this only pushed him further.

"you not goin' nowhere. not until you talk to me, so here's what we gon' do; we will sit in this car and we won't move until you start talking," he said as brought his hand up to your face, wiping the tear that escaped your waterline before it could drip and ruin your makeup.

your face scrunched up at the small gesture and you pressed your lips in a tight line. suddenly the burning feeling burned even hotter, and the saliva in your mouth began to increase. more tears slipped from your eyes. in a soft yet pleading voice, you asked, "please, can I just go home?"

he furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at your state and it was then he could tell this was a real problem. "ay baby.. eres mi vida. talk to me," he cupped your face with both of his hands as they caught the tears falling. with your face smushed in his hands, he leaned in to give you a smooch, not caring if your lipgloss got all over him– he just wanted to see you smile for him.

"I don't want them to think badly of me miles.. they all looked at me funny and were cheering when I did it. I humiliated myself in front of them," you spilled, not wanting to keep it in anymore. and to be honest, it felt weird crying in your boyfriends' hands and not into your pillow alone in your room.

putting his forehead to yours, he said, "hey, look at me; you don't always have to worry about impressing everybody. everybody don't matter, you understand me? only me and you, ok? ion' wanna see you crying over some pinche pendejos who don't got they own girls and haven't matured since middle school."

you giggled softly as you sniffled your nose.

"there's that pretty smile," he mumbled as he gave a kiss to the top of your head.

"my pretty girl…”

you could feel your face get warmer after what he said, the indication, that big yet subtle word “my” sticking out to you like a sore thumb.

“what, you like that? like when I call you that mi vida?” you knew he would never let you live this down, and this would be one of your many nicknames he would use on you to get you flustered to his own advantage.

“shut up—”

“what, you don’t wanna be my pretty girl?” he inquired whilst leaning back to look at you, feigning disappointment.

“of course I do miles-”

“then lemme hear you say it chiquita— c’mon I wanna hear you say it,” he said sounding very suave. you grew weak in the knees whenever miles deepened his voice while speaking to you, and he definitely used this to his advantage. thank goodness you we’re sitting down because lord knows if you were standing, you wouldn’t be able to hold yourself together without bending over backwards for him.

your eyes wandered to anywhere else in the car, not wanting to see the look on miles face when you said what you were about to say, “i’m your pretty girl.”

“yeah, I know that’s right.”

– i wanna be his pretty girl so bad lol

#earth42 miles #miles morales #miles morales x reader #miles g #prowler miles #spiderman miles morales #across the spiderverse #into the spider verse #earth 42 miles morales #earth 42 miles x reader #miles x reader

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my friends I want to use they/them pronouns for a bad reason?

I (19F) am 100% a cis girl, but never really felt like I was "allowed" to be girly or feminine because of a lot of internal and external sexism and misogyny in my house growing up. No one ever really acknowledged the fact that I was a girl, unless it was in a negative sense. I was also homeschooled, so that made things worse because limited social interaction and stuff.

Now that I'm older and have a lot more connection with people through the internet, I'm a lot more comfortable with my identity and genuinely love being perceived as a girl. I understand the gender euphoria trans people feel when someone uses she/her pronouns for me. I also feel a hint of disappointment when people I don't know use they/them for me online (e.g. "prev knows their stuff").

With context out of the way, what actually happened was a few weeks ago. I went through a depressive episode, which came with the usual feelings of not ever deserving good things in life or happiness of any kind, and that no one cared/should care about me. As part of that, I withdrew from my friends for a couple days, leaving our discord server and blocking all of them (I know I shouldn't have done that, we worked it out). When I finally returned, I told them in vague terms that things were rough, I was a mess, and I wanted to start using they/them. I'm the only cis person in the group of 8 people so no one batted an eye about my request and just went along with it.

Here's where I might be the ah: the only reason I asked that is because I thought I didn't deserve to feel good about myself in any way, including my gender. My friends don't know I was asking them for help in basically punishing myself. I know if they'd known they would never go along with it. I also feel like an ah for using my privilege of being cis and having accepting friends to punish myself when there's real people in the world suffering because people refuse to gender them correctly.

Additional details that might be relevant: my friends are great, we met online about two years ago in a bigger server and grew closer and made our own small server not too long after. They know about my mental health issues and have helped me a lot. Almost everyone I know irl is transphobic and homophobic, so my reference for what is offensive and what isn't is kinda off. I still live with my family and they're by no means bad people. I'm also in the process of finding a therapist.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #self harm cw

[bunnibaby-love]

hear me out...possessive dom neuvillette...power imbalance......

🧁 Neuvillette x F!Reader 🧁

♡ female reader + kinda non con + barely smut + corruption + manipulation + power imbalance + dumblification

Iudex Neuvillette has been admiring you ever since you offered an umbrella to him. It was a simple gesture that even Wriothesley did but he thinks it might be what humans called love at first sight

It saddened him when he found out you move to Sumeru to pursue your education. He won't be able to admire you while you walk thru streets or watch on the opera house every once in awhile

Once he found out you are graduating, he didn't think twice to offer you the position of being his secretary. He made sure you are only coming to him by blocking any possible work that would want you or what you want

You of couse, accepted the position of being his secratary. I mean what's better position than being the secretary of Monsieur Neuvillette?! It's a high paying job too!

You wish to learn alot from this work experience but you don't feel doing a professional work. It's always the melusine that do paperworks while you just do Neuvillette schedule and make his meals. It makes you feel more of a maid and this is somewhere you didn't wish to pursue

"A resignation?" Neuvillette raise his eyebrows at you "Pardon me but care to explain? i don't understand you leaving such an important and high position? do you think other place would take in you easily like this?"

He always intimidate you but now it's a very scary feeling and you are sweating cold although you tried hard to be brave infront of him "Yes Monsieur i...i rather work with somewhere i can show my skills"

Neuvillette chuckles at that. He is making your life easier now then you actually want it hard? "And you think your skills are that good?" he smirk when he saw you get pale "Leaving a position like this? only well stupid people would" he cross his legs while enjoying your scared expression. "I'll gave you a better..position then"

He stands up to tuck your hair behind your blushing ears "Kneel" you quickly kneeled, scared to angered the iudex

Neuvillette is a cruel man. You perceive him as cold and intimidating man but just know how cruel he is too you.

He won't let you leave the palais mermonia anymore unless he is with you, with his arms around your waist. The people of fontaine just think of it a cute couple and how great you are for taking the heart of the iudex

When it is the opposite.

You are still his secretary by name but, you did anything but that. When the doors of his office closed, you have to sit down on his lap while he does his loads of paper work "Behave or do you want me to leave you at the floor with that tiny vibrator mhm?" you shake your head. The last time he did that to you, you were in that position for 6hours

When a trial is ongoing, you are secretly under his table and sucking his cock with whatever paced he wanted. He makes you fully naked with the thrill of getting caught

You should hate it. He is making you do all of this because of how powerful he is. He knows you have your debts still and can't even pay it if you left because he is blocking everything from you

But, is really living on surviving better than this? sure Neuvillette treats you like how the toy you are but he is also caring. He would gave you aftercare no matter how much he torment you.

"So pretty like this...at your perfect place" you don't want to think about it anymore.

You now enjoy being on the iudex knees and sucking his cock like it's the only meal you need "Good girl" You happily shows off your tongue full of his cum and swallows it

"Im very proud of you dear...especially now that the test says you are pregnant..." he kiss your lips passionately "my wife....mine forever..."

#genshin smut #genshin impact #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #neuvillete x reader #neuvilette x reader #neuvillette #neuvilette genshin #neuvillette smut

[periprose]

Heyyy I’m literally playing through ps4 Spider-Man again 🤣!

I was wondering if I could request a ps4 fic, maybe Peter and reader have been dating for a while, and she gets hurt during the explosion and he can’t find her but she’s with may at feast with like a broken arm or something?? (She knows he’s Spider-Man) 👀🫶🏼

hey lol thanks for requesting! I'm on the first playthrough of the game myself. Basically this is set during the explosion at the election event in the game, and Peter and you are there to proudly watch Officer Davis accept his award.

/

"Hey." Peter comes up from behind you on the sidewalk, fixing wrinkles in his civilian clothes. He must've just changed.

"Hey, Parker." You nudge him. "Ready to go watch Osborn smooch up to the well-meaning audience of Manhattan?"

"Well, ready as I'll ever be." Peter takes your hand. "I'm really just there to watch Davis get his well-deserving award, y'know. Hey, didn't I tell you to stop calling me Parker?"

"Meh, you love it." You joke. "You'll always be Parker to me, even if you are my boyfriend now. It's our thing."

Peter shakes his head, but you know based on his little smile- he loves that you have a little thing just for him.

Together, you walk to the intersection in front of City Hall, where many people crowd around, waiting for Mayor Osborn and whatever speech he's about to give today. They're all dressed in Osborn themed merchandise, cheering and clapping.

You can't believe this many people care about Osborn's so-called promises to the city- you and Peter are really hoping he won't be re-elected this term after all- but people are clapping for him, and you sigh knowing that your cost of living is about to go up.

"Hey. Wipe that frown off your face. We're here to be supportive." Peter whispers from next to you in the crowd, and you nod.

"Where's Davis? Is that him?" You whisper back, pointing to an older black man up on the stage.

"Yup. You wouldn't believe it, he was so helpful in Hell's Kitchen. Dude whipped out his gun and had my back like we've been best buds for years." Peter smiles. "There's not many out there doing it like him."

"He sounds like a real treasure. I'm glad you have someone on your side." You squeeze Peter's hand, and continue to look up towards the stage in mild excitement.

You don't really care for Osborn's speech- Peter laughs about his promise to open up technology for NYC when you both know that's reserved for the elite- but you both grin when Davis, looking nervous as ever, walks up the stage to receive his award.

"It is my privilege to present Officer Jefferson Davis with the Department Medal of Honour." Osborn hangs a medal around Davis' neck, and you and Peter clap.

"I'm so glad this is all over. The gang war, I think." Peter whispers to you, and you raise your eyebrows.

"Really? Does this mean you'll finally be a little safer?" You ask, but Peter frowns a little.

"Well, there's some loose ends still to be tied up, but-"

"Loose ends?" You give him a wary glance. "Like what?"

"Like whatever 'Consolidated Shipping' is. It doesn't make sense." Peter sighs, watching concern grow on your face. "It's not right, but I'll figure it out."

Davis says a few words- he thanks his wife and his son, Miles, who you can see is sitting up at the front of the stage.

"Aw, cute kid." You remark to Peter, and he nods, gaining a slightly sheepish smile.

"Officer Davis did say I remind him of his son. I'll take it as a compliment." Peter jokes, and you snicker, calling him even more of a baby.

Behind you, Sable guards are talking on their walkie talkies about "keeping eyes on Osborn," which to you sounds as if they perceive a threat. You turn back to tell Peter, when he suddenly flinches.

"Peter-?"

He grabs his head, panicking- you watch as his pupils dilate, and he's clearly in some kind of shock.

"Everything feels off-" Peter flinches again, and you know he's having a Spider-Sense meltdown. There must be multiple things happening at once- even worse, you're not sure what he's supposed to do in this situation. He's not suited up, and he risks revealing his identity if he does anything.

Either way, Peter runs behind you. He shoves people out of the way, trying to get to the back of the event, behind the audience, but he's not fast enough. There are men arriving out of cars- corrupted men, turning that strange grey-blue-transparent hue that confirms their connection with Martin Li.

Peter runs- he dashes- but you see him flinch again, cowering under such threatening energy. He turns to the stage in horror, and you gasp in shock.

There's another corrupted on stage, covered in explosive devices.

An explosion goes off behind you, to the right of you, than another massive one on stage- the ground shakes beneath you, and you're too in shock to move.

"Get down!" Peter shoves you back, attempting to push you out of the way, just as another two explosions cause the earth under you to rattle, and you lose your footing and fall back on the pavement. You twist your arm unnaturally and hit your head.

You black out, the last thing you see being massive blue-black explosions in the sky.

/

Peter wakes to floating ash in the sky.

He coughs- there's a sharp pain in his right side, and a slight ache at the top of his hairline- he touches his forehead and pulls his fingers away to see brown-red, dry blood.

It doesn't matter. He'll heal faster than most, anyways- he needs to locate you.

He gets up, seizes a little due to the pain- and to his alarm, you're nowhere in his near sight. He walks around seeing Sable guards help people off the streets- although Peter really thinks they're poking and prodding and shoving them away, so they can clean up the mess around here.

He hopes you haven't been taken away by Sable guards.

Peter rushes to the nearest clinic- but there's too many people crowding around there with their injuries, and the receptionist at the emergency room tells him there's no one by your name here.

He begins to panic. You're not responding to his calls, either. Peter doesn't want to believe the worst could've happened to you, but he does hear people talking on the streets about the casualties. Apparently at least 10 people have been found dead so far- Peter starts swearing under his breath.

He decides to head to FEAST- he's not sure if you'll be there, but it's better to ask Aunt May or some of the volunteers if you've been seen. FEAST also operates as an emergency medical clinic, too, even with limited supplies, and it's with this small amount of hope that Peter travels there.

Pushing through the doors, the front desk woman- Amanda- she's startled by how intensely Peter asks about you.

"I don't know, Peter." She points to the main auditorium, where many homeless and injured people are currently being attended to. "It's kind of an open house back here- you're going to have to look through the crowds."

Peter sighs. "Thanks, Amanda."

It takes him about fifteen minutes to do a full, quick walkthrough. The entire time, his heartbeat thumps faster as he realizes- he's not seeing you anywhere. There's nobody wearing your trademark scarf, your usual dark blue jeans- nobody with your fastidious expression, where you always seem to take in the entire world before speaking- nobody to relieve the steady ache in his heart.

Peter walks into the room full of medical supplies, expecting to see Aunt May- and while May is there, busy with another volunteer, the first thing he sees is you, with your hair all disheveled and messy, bruises on your cheek and a cut under your lip, and your arm wrapped in a cast and a sling.

But you have a soft, comforting smile. You're kneeling down to help a little girl- she can't be older than five- and you're placing a bandage on her knee. And the little girl squeals, hugging you after you say "It's all better now."

Peter would agree with that.

You look up, arms still embraced around the little girl- Rina is her name- to see Peter, looking wistful, sad, a clear lump in his throat. His eyes are watery.

"Peter?" You watch as he comes forward.

"I thought you were- I thought..." He wipes his eyes. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"Well, Little Rina over here needed a little bit of medical attention." You kindly tap her shoulder and she nods up at Peter, smiling. "She tripped and fell and no one was paying attention to her knee, so I decided to help her."

"That's..." Peter trails off, wondering how you could be so selfless when your own face was looking a bit worse for wear. "That's sweet of you to do. How do you feel, kiddo?"

He kneels towards her, and she grins really big. "Better!"

"Alright, high five then." Peter high fives her, and she dashes off afterwards, most likely looking for the parent she came with.

"Why didn't you respond to my calls?" Peter asks you as soon as you turn back to him. "I thought... I thought the worst had happened-"

"Peter, please. Stop with the wounded ego." May calls him out, listening from the sidelines. "What's important is that she's safe and in one piece- that's more than enough to feel grateful about."

Peter looks down, ashamed. He knows May is right, and he has to swallow his pride for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Peter." You grasp his hand, and he looks back at you, jaw tight as he listens. "I didn't mean to not answer your calls- my phone got shattered. And I didn't know where to find you after I woke up- I was already being taken away by Sable guards to 'safety' and then I decided my best chance to find you was over here."

"Oh." Peter feels kind of dumb, but he also feels glad you think of FEAST as a spot to find him. "I should've kept you safe."

"Don't. Don't make yourself crazy with what you could've done." You plead with him, and he sighs but shakes his head. "My arm will heal with time. I guess I landed on it weirdly and broke it."

Peter winces. "Well, you can always ask me for help if it bothers you. I'm there for you."

He traces your lip, where the cut under is still a red-brown, harsh hue in comparison to the pink of your bottom lip, and May takes this as her cue to leave.

Peter snorts. "I wish you had my-"

"Super healing? Yeah, I wish that too." You laugh. "Were you lucky enough to not get hit, or did you just heal on the way here?"

Peter's reaching for a facial bandage and some rubbing alcohol. "The latter."

"Ugh, lucky bastard." You smile up at him, cringing only slightly as Peter rubs away the blood from your wound. "I'm just glad that means I don't have to worry too much about you."

"You still do." Peter remarks, placing the bandage on your face. "But that just means you love me."

And, being ever so thankful that you're safely back in his arms, Peter places a soft kiss on your forehead, and then a slightly-less-soft one on your mouth, hoping it doesn't hurt you, but happy that you kiss him back anyways.

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #ps5 peter parker x reader #ps5 peter parker #ps4 peter parker x reader #ps4 peter parker x you #insomniac peter parker x reader #insomniac peter parker #peter parker #insomniac spider man #insomniac spider man x reader #insomniac spider man x you #spiderman x reader #spider man x reader #spider man x you #marvel's spider man #peter parker fluff #peter parker angst #requests #asks

[phas3d]

Toxic Traits || Slytherin Boys

type :: angst

tw/cw :: manipulation, violence, almost dubcon (theo)

contains :: tom, mattheo, theodore, lorenzo

summary :: their worst toxic traits - i always see these but it's the same stuff everytime and i wanna add some new traits that are toxic imo (i need goddess by laufey to come out RIGHT NOW IM SOBBING ON THE TOILET)

TOM RIDDLE overly controlling

You knew that getting with Tom meant a lot of things about you would need to be changed in order to fit his life style, because God forbid he change himselfIt was foul tasting, you went into this knowing how bad Tom was yet still craved him like how little kids eat slime.

Quitting some clubs was fine, you didn't care for them that much anyways and hanging out with Tom in the library to sit in silence was SO much more fun.

Seeing your close friends was out of the picture completely because Tom didn't understand why you would need anyone besides him. Having friends was an indirect insult to him since it mean he wasn't fulfilling you enough.

Picking your own clothes was banned from day 1 once you got together, because how you were perceived also reflected onto him. He was head boy after all, he had a reputation to keep up. Not to mention he was the future heir to Voldemort's evil plan, meaning you needed to be perfect in every way.

Everything you said from now on would be chosen by Tom. Every morning Tom would cast a spell to be able to enter your brain so he could give you every answer to say. It didn't matter that it was potions class or flying class, he would tell you what to say.

If he had any reason to believe you were being mischevious or planning anything without his knowledge, he would use "legilimens" at any time of day when he wanted to, because he had a right to your own mind. He forced himself in your brain, viewing every traumatic event and happy event you've had. And if he didn't like those memories, he would change them.

At first you thought he would take your traumatic memories, making you happier and fuller of life. But, he took your happiest memories and mended them to fit his face into it. Memories of your mother brushing your hair and calling you beautiful were wiped away and replaced with Tom calling you beautiful, despite him never ever saying that.

Dating Tom leads to you becoming a shell, an empty hallow shell with no life besides the life Tom planned. And no matter how much you tried to fight back, rebel, or plead for mercy, it was too late. Once you agree to be his, he forever has ownership of you.

MATTHEO RIDDLE violent habits in front of you

Fighting was one of Mattheo's hobbies, no matter how much you begged him to stop. At first it was cute, he was saying it was so you could fix his wounds and so he could protect you from creeps. It was the first time you've ever felt protected by someone, safe to walk out at night and safe to wear whatever you wanted.

But overtime, his anger was seen in more places than you predicted. Gaming was a small one but you knew it was possible. He lost a game whilst playing with his friend and he angrily shoved him while laughing. You just though the was playing rough, but his friend got up whilst gently holding his new bruise that Mattheo just made. Mattheo said sorry and the two made up, simply "boys being boys".

In sports you would see this a lot too, but it was expected. He was the beater on the Quidditch team making him bound to be aggressive. But once Slytherin was down 50 points, he began to take matters into his own hands. He chucked a ball straight into the benched already injured Gryffindor team, earning him a red card and being benched himself.

Beating his own dorm room was unexpected since the dorms would heal any imperfections daily. But when you went to his dorm, you saw the huge holes in his wall that pierced through the drywall and almost into the brick walls behind it. He shrugged it off when you questioned him, saying he always does that to relieve stress when he runs out of weed or alcohol.

You ignored all of the red flags but then his ex girlfriend reached out to you over text. She wrote a long message sharing how Mattheo was toxic in every way possible. How he would gaslight and lie to her constantly, how he would cause scenes in public to embarrass her, and how he almost hit her. He got so angry to a point where he swung at her but she dodged it, running away from him and instantly telling the first professor she found.

After that, she broke up with him but he wasn't done with her. He spammed her with countless texts and calls, all of which were threats in some way about how if she ever spoke up he would find her. He even sent his friends to watch over her since the school separated the two. He even

THEODORE NOTT will cheat on multiple times (and guilt tripping)

He was one of the most wanted boys in Hogwarts, so when you started dating you felt honored. Out of all of the girls he could have chosen, he picked you and wanted you. Of course a few girls began to become bitter towards you but you didn't care, they were irrelevant anyways.

Everything was perfect in the beginning. He showed you off, went to every event you had, and even took you on multiple shopping sprees to buy whatever you wanted. Compliments from him would come every hour and each was sweeter than the last. It was just like the fairy tales you read and the ideal couples online.

But as time progressed, he wanted to do more too quickly. To him, sex was just a casual thing he could have whenever he wanted. But to you, it was much deeper and you wanted to have more time, which was completely reasonable since you've only been dating for about 3 weeks.

You expected him to be understanding like he usually was, to reassure you it was okay and he would wait. But instead, you met a shocked Theo as he shook his head to snap out of it. He asked you again, to double-check that you weren't joking and when you repeated yourself he was even more surprised. He scoffs, as if you just insulted him and he poked his cheek with his tongue.

From that day on, you noticed a shift in his attitude. His hourly compliments turned from hourly to 3 every day to 1 every day to none. His hugs and kisses were completely limited and only done when he was in public. Hanging out became rare, meaning you only saw each other during your shared classes.

You did everything you could to get him back, needing his love once more because you knew no other boy in this school was capable of treating you as well. But no matter what you did, he never was as sweet as he once was. It hurt, but you knew exactly why he was acting this way and you felt guilty despite knowing you shouldn't. So you decided to let into his wishes, allowing him to have sex with you.

You went to his dorm, ready to talk to him about it and give him consent (which you barely felt). But as you stepped into his already open dorm, you saw him banging some other girl on his bed. The same bed you two used to cuddle and laugh on, the same bed that he brushed your hair so delicately on, and the same exact bed where he first ever said "I love you".

But for some reason, as if he casted a spell on you, you couldn't bring yourself to feel angry at him but only disappointed in yourself for not fulfilling his wants. The girl in his bed scrambled away, throwing on random clothes and apologizing to you as she ran out whilst Theo sat there staring at you with a cold and emotional look.

His eyes were something you loved dearly about him because they were so filled with emotion, as if his soul was trapped into his eyes. You always hated when people said their eyes changed colors, but Theo's genuinely did.

And from his eyes, you could tell everything he wanted to say without even hearing his voice. You could hear the silence. The piercing silence in the room silently said, "It's your fault for not letting. I needed it and you couldn't fulfill what I needed, so I got a replacement."

You were hoping you would hear him say "It's not what it looks like!" or "I'm so sorry! I don't know what came over me!" but he didn't say anything, no defense. If anything, the pure embracement of his cheating was 100 times more hurtful than denial.

But for some strange reason, a stupid and idiotic voice came into your head to forgive him. To give him what he wants to keep him. To give up your whole self to secure the temporary happiness he would offer.

LORENZO BERKSHIRE prioritizes everything but you (and love bombing)

Everyone views Lorenzo as the boy who shouldn't be in Slytherin, the only good one, the pure and cute-sy one. But as you got further into your relationship, you realized it was simply an act. It wasn't fully wrong, Lorenzo did have sweet parts in him and he was better than 70% of the Slytherin boys but he still had major flaws. There's no way a man can be friends with Mattheo, Tom, and Theodore and not be toxic as well.

At first, he was amazing to you. Flowers, chocolates, dates, movie nights, and so much more. It was like the dream rom-coms you watched growing up. But overtime, he stopped showing love to you and focussed his attention back into his life.

You tried your best to be understanding, but once again you sat alone in your own room crying as you scrolled through everyone's Instagram stories. Post after post featured Lorenzo surrounded by girls and guys, drinking, smiling, and dancing. But you weren't even invited or even told of it at all. But Lorenzo seemed to be having fun.

It was like this every day for months on end as you waited for the sweet Lorenzo you once loved. It was as if his plan was just to woo you in and then continue on with his perfect life. All he needed to do to make it even more perfect was secure a beautiful girlfriend and then he was set,

No matter how much you begged or cried for him to come back, he never did. Not even when you were on your knees begging for him to at least spend the night with you because you missed him. He rolled his eyes and comforted you, obviously wanting to leave the entire time. His words were so perfect yet his facial expression and body language lacked, making you question how easy it was for him to say the perfect words only to never mean it.

Even when you threw up from stress of school work and insecurities stacking up on you, he sighed and held your hair back. His touch was so warm, you've been lacking it for ages. But once you barfed again, he instantly groaned and let go of your hair, letting your hair fall into your face and vomit. He quickly ran to the sink to clean himself and then leave the rooom, disgusted by you. He left you there, alone on the cold bathroom floor to clean yourself up.

Even when you were sobbing and having a full blown panic attack, he wasn't there for you. Your knees were shaking and you could barely stand, feeling as if your entire body was no longer yours. Air was impossible to collect into your lungs as if they were never inside of you in the first place. Tears streamed so heavily down your face that they crawled down your neck and your collarbones. But he never wiped a single tears, instead handing you a box of tissues while he stared at you with no expression on his face. Although your brain was running 100 miles per hour, you could tell his face was a mix of disgust and pity, as if he was a doctor helping his crazy patient.

And whenever you did try to leave, wanting better for yourself- he never let you. Once you'd say you wanted to leave, he'd get teary eyed and beg on all fours for you to take him back, chanting how he was so blinded and stupid and stress and blah blah blah. Yet you fell for it every time, because you knew that once you took him back it would be the honeymoon phase once again.

One time you did fully break up with him, tired of the mistreatment and love bombing. But once you went to class you saw everyone's eyes on you, whispering to each other about how you were apparently a "crazy ex girlfriend" who made Lorenzo ball his eyes out. When you went to confront him, you saw him panicking and barely being able to breathe: just like how you were when you begged for him to love you.

#slytherin boys #tom riddle #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle x y/n #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle x y/n #theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x y/n #lorenzo berkshire #lorenzo berkshire x reader #lorenzo berkshire x y/n #angst #harry potter #harry potter x reader #one shot

[f1fnatic]

SCRUTINY ⤿ f1 grid

→ ( in which. . . ) you are a woman on the f1 grid. you face criticism and digs almost every day from toxic fans, specifically the men. but, you shut them up after a rewarding race.

→ ( fanfic genre. . . ) written

→ ( pairing. . . ) 2023 f1 grid x female!reader

→ ( content warnings/disclaimers. . . ) cyberbullying, misogyny, sexism/sexist comments, overall a shitty environment. not based on this year's monaco grand prix or the season so far just has the drivers of this year's grid at this moment except alonso he is a reserve for aston martin, jumps around a little, not a completely solid plot, other pilots make subtle mentions, but mainly reader focused.

→ ( author's note. . . ) i enjoyed writing this one a lot. with being a woman myself and seeing how we are perceived in sports, especially a male-dominated field like motorsport, it was not very difficult to keep writing. anyways, i hope you enjoy! see end for more.

→ ( masterlist )

sunday, pre-race interview ↴

scrutiny. a word that you are familiar with. a word that has so much meaning but so little at the same time. you had recently joined your dream team, aston martin. after a challenging run in f3 and f2, you finally got recognized for your talent. you knew the comments would only get worse as you moved up the ranks, but you didn't expect them to be this bad.

it was the monaco grand prix. your least favorite track to race. the tight corners haunted you. without fail, you always almost crashed and cost your team everything. but it mainly cost you your dignity.

you were sat along a crisp white sofa that sat your teammate lance stroll, along with charles leclerc, lewis hamilton, lando norris, daniel ricciardo, and lastly max verstappen. you had all become acquainted when you first got to f1. lance and you got along swell and were close to inseparable. the rest were like brothers to you. these types of conferences were your personal least favorite. you enjoyed being with your friends, but the questions that were asked were downright embarrassing.

"y/n, coming over to you." the interviewer voiced, all attention was shifted onto you. "monaco in the past years has not treated you well, do you think you will have another devastating grand prix? and do you think your difference has to do with your performance?" you felt the scoff bubble in your throat. was he serious? you knew what he was playing at. your difference being your gender.

"well, first of all, i do not think my quote en quote 'difference' has anything to do with my performance." you start, putting finger quotes to emphasize the word difference. "if anything, it would be a difference in the car. in past monaco grand prix's the aston martin car has struggled. there are no real straights for the car to get its usual speed from. the differences in the care have nothing to do with me as a driver." this was unbelievable. were they really questioning whether you could hold your own as a woman in motorsport?

"you are starting p7 in today's race. do you think you performed well enough in qualifying? what could you have done differently?" finally. a normal question. you were excited to answer.

"uh, yeah. i think considering the conditions in qualifying and the nature of the track i did well. i am happy with how i performed but there is always room for improvement. and i am open to that." you answered, smiling. you looked over to lewis and saw him smiling at you. he knew how the media worked. he himself was getting pushed under the bus with racist remarks and 'concern' around his piercings. he was always supportive of you, and you were supportive of him. there were often times when you would text or call him ranting about how unfair it was that you were being treated the way you were. he would join in with his own stories and you would listen.

"y/n, i am sure you have seen the scrutiny online about being a woman competing in the pinnacle of motorsport. do you believe you should be here competing with men?" another reporter asks.

you are stunned. you couldn't believe what you were hearing.

"are you serious?" lance scoffs beside you. "what is with these questions?"

"why do we get questions about normal things like our literal jobs and y/n's questions are always about her gender?" daniel adds. the couch breaks out in murmurs. the reporters visibly get uncomfortable with what has happened and end the interview.

standing up you walk out of the office and to your drivers room, ignorning the voices calling after you. these interviews were always bullshit. daniel was right, why were you always getting questioned about your gender and how that effects your performance? what does gender have to do with racing?

this was only the beginning.

sunday, day of monaco grand prix ↴

you were exhausted. exhausted by the comments, the bullshit interviews, and the stupid prick men that felt the need to voice their opinion about a woman in f1.

you could this year's grand prix was going to be a tough one. mentally and physically. you wanted to be done. done with the bullying, the sexism, the misogyny, everything. you knew you worked hard to get where you are, and you will continue to. you dreaded the after-race interviews. no matter your result, you would always get at least 4 sexist remarks.

you didn't know what else you needed to do to be able to prove yourself worthy of your seat. you shouldn't have to prove yourself anymore than you have. you are in f1, and all of these assholes are not.

your pr manager, bless his soul, had to listen to your rants after interviews. lewis always got brunt end of it as well. he had experience with degradating comments. he always knew what to say and when to say it. fernando has been a huge help as well. he was like a father to you, always there when you needed someone. he would defend you when you needed defending. he always knew what to say and when to say it.

race start, p7 ↴

p7 was not a bad place to start, at all. but the internet and crowd thought differently. you were sat in your car, ready for the formation lap when someone yelled at you, "c'mon pretty lady! get back to cleaning! this is a man's sport!" you resisted the urge to quip back at him, instead you raised your left hand and flipped him off. your pr manager would have your head later but you couldn't care less. you needed to do something to voice your annoyance.

concentration is what you needed, but you couldn't seem to gain it with more comments being shouted your way. "hot momma!" followed by a cat call whistle, "sweetheart take off that suit! let's see what's underneath!", "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS JOB!" were only some of the handfuls thrown at you. they also seemed to be the ones that bothered you the most. your grip on your steering wheel tightened, anger bubbling in your gut. these people knew nothing. they don't know how hard you work. they don't know how much blood, sweat, and tears you poured into achieving your dream. and they never would.

before you knew it, the formation lap started. it went quickly. you got back into your respective starting positions and stared down the lights. you took a deep breath to attempt to ground yourself. it is just a race, you have done this before y/n.

the lights lit up red, until they didn't. you flew forward in your aston martin, pushing it for a decent start. you ended up gaining two positions, going from p7 to p5. the rest of the race was uneventful, until it wasn't.

"y/n, caution on the chicane. hamilton, perez, and leclerc crashed. yellow flag, safety car." your race engineer voiced over the radio. "that moves you into a fortunate p2."

"okay, copy." you were ecstatic. this was your chance to prove yourself to everyone. to those men who scrutinized you before the formation lap, to the trolls online, and to those misogynistic pricks known as reporters. this was your moment.

"gap to verstappen 1.6 seconds, push." you did as you were told. you pushed, and you pushed hard. this was for all of the girls that wanted to be you. "oh my days y/n! p1! p1! you just won the monaco grand prix!"

"yes! oh my god! fuck me! we did it!" you had done it.

you did your victory lap and parked behind the p1 tower. when you got out of your seat tears stung at your eyes. you ran over to where the aston martin team was and hugged them over the barrier. team members were banging on your helmet. lance had managed p2 and came up behind you and hugged you, along with the team.

the podium was a blur. you could not describe the emotions you were feeling. pride, excitement, and most of all, happiness were swirling within you. you stood tall as aston martin's anthem played and even taller when yours sounded shortly after. the champagne spray was the best part. carelessly spraying lance as giggles sounded on the podium. you also sprayed your team below, this would not have been possible without them. you would never forget this moment. it is forever engraved into your mind.

this was it, this was what you needed to prove them all wrong.

not feeling super happy w this one. i like the beginning but i feel it gets away from me in the middle and end. feedback and requests are welcome! make sure to leave a comment and kudos as well, only if u want to tho! lmk if you like it :)

#+*. 🗃️f1fnatic's archives - +*. #f1 x reader #formula one x reader #formula 1 x reader #f1 x you #formula 1 fanfic #f1 fics #f1 imagine #f1 one shot #f1 x female reader #formula 1 #charles leclerc #lewis hamilton #fernando alonso #lance stroll #f1 blurb #max verstappen #lando norris #daniel ricciardo #f1 2023 #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 fandom #f1

[sugar-grigri]

Fans are Denji's source of unhappiness

First observation: Fumiko is worse than Barem

I don't like making meaningless comparisons, especially in a work like Chainsaw Man where when the characters aren't nuts, they remain at least morally gray. But this comparison makes sense in the sense that the construction of the chapter refers to it. As usual, let's analyze this by following the chapter's chronology.

This one takes place in a funfair, which is not an insignificant location, but we'll come back to that later. These few lines of dialogue already evoke a very simple idea: Denji isn't so stupid that he wouldn't know he was being manipulated. He knows full well that Fumiko was placed in Yoshida's care not to protect him, but to keep a close eye on him, to prevent him from turning and joining the church.

But she tries to disprove all this, evoking the ecstasy one might feel if one were Chainsaw Man. Being Chainsaw Man is also a source of unhappiness for Denji, who corrects her, and Fumiko adapts to his speech, looking for the first negative point that comes to mind. I think it was a real mistake for Fumiko to mention this point, but once again, she adapts to Denji's reaction. He's completely horrified at having been observed in the bathroom, so she shares his negative view of the situation.

She knows that Denji's main objective is sex-related, so she builds on that by downplaying what she's doing. This is fan behavior; fans are sexually obsessed with Denji in the hope that it will delight him. But Fumiko knows no bounds, either ignoring his consent or stalking him, which logically engages Denji's rejection reaction again.

Once again, he perceives the means of manipulation with the word "fan", and rejects it. So far, these experiences have only been negative and intrusive, and even when they have been positive, whether with Asa romantically or Power platonically, the demon of control, another female figure, has put an end to them.

But instead of stopping the manipulation, Fumiko goes on to confirm Denji's words even as they express pure disgust and rejection. For a character who knows absolutely no limits, she may also override stopping this conservation, but she continues with her family history. If public demon hunters know anything about Denji apart from his natural distrust and need for affection, whether sentimental or physical, it's his sensitivity.

I can't say that the story Fumiko tells is a complete lie, just as I can't say that she's telling the truth. She's a hunter, and anything she mentions could well have ended up in a report, especially given the national authorities' interest in the gun demon. But even if her story is true, the tragic aspect, not for her but for Denji, is even stronger.

Fumiko says she lost her parents because of the gun demon, that CSM didn't hear her cries for help. I'd like to remind you that chapter 79, the chapter in which she refers to Aki's death, is dedicated to the trauma of what it means to be Chainsaw Man.

For the demon from the future, Aki died in the worst possible way, not for him, but for Denji. It's clear that the little boy is forcing himself to continue this snowball fight he no longer wants to play.

At first, he tries to reason with Aki, forcing him to wake up, but when he himself is shot trying to spare one of his only loved ones, people won't let him lose. Chainsaw Man is a weapon of vengeance into which everyone projects their frustrations, the deaths of their loved ones. Denji was forced to be resurrected, to kill Aki not for himself, but for the community. Chainsaw Man never acts for himself. If Aki died in the worst way for Denji, it's because his fans, this community, forced him back to life to remove one of his sources of love.

Denji was traumatized by having to win.

Let's be clear: it wasn't Denji who ignored their calls for help, it was they who ignored his.

Isn't it tragic to criticize Chainsaw Man for not hearing Fumiko's cries for help, or the cries of all those people, when he was instead so compelled by them, like a machine that would be reset to kill a loved one ? Chainsaw Man, on the other hand, hears all the pain in the world. This doesn't mean that Denji is altruistic - he isn't. He's closer to amorality than compassion, but like a permanently dehumanized machine, he must serve others. It has no morals, so how can it live for itself ?

That's why what Fumiko says is so paradoxical: saving Denji means finally allowing him to live for himself, granting him the right not to hear all those voices.

She doesn't mean what she says when she says she's never thought of him as a god, but simply as a child in need of protection. She's only setting up a dissident discourse to that of the church, which idealizes him by banking on the part of identity that is Denji, while the church banks on Chainsaw Man. How can someone who is constantly sexually abusing Denji be competent to protect a boy?

This chapter is about setting limits for children. To have access to the merry-go-round, you have to be over 1m10 tall. These clear limits were never set for Denji, either when he was forced to kill Aki or even when he explores his sexuality.

Having killed his father, been martyred by the mafia and then manipulated by a demon, Denji is now at the heart of other vicious circles. He's condemned to being too young an adult, watching over Nayuta like a parent while children play behind him, not enjoying the funfair with friends, a girlfriend, being cloistered on that bench. The bench represents the stagnation in Denji's life, his questioning, placed on the bench of his own life, his name unknown to his fans, his nature instrumentalized, his age ignored.

Denji needs and must be considered with the age he is, a 17-year-old teenager. Yet even this characteristic, even the fact that he's still a child, is ignored by Fumiko, hence her insistence on the word "senpai".

The treatment of Fumiko is good, I find her to be the very embodiment of Denji's sexual trauma in the sense that she constantly manipulates him to play on his interests, and constantly ignores his own desires, his limits.

Fumiko manipulates, hence the emphasis on her outraged expression when Barem interrupts. If Barem's manipulation is more grotesque, it's not to manipulate Denji but to mock Fumiko's strategy. Although it's incredibly more insidious, the weapon has a clear idea of what she's up to.

And yet, in just a few sentences, it's right on target. It's much closer to Denji's reality than to Fumiko's human perspective. Weapons are seen as weapons, machines at the service of humans, whose immortality is a pain, as it leads them to the trauma of always winning.

Barem uses a cigarette, obviously reminiscent of those smoked by Aki, who had given in to Himeko's advances and needed an outlet for his stress. Aki's misfortune is to have spent his life on revenge, living to avenge the dead, not living for himself. The cigarette was his flaw, the proof of his humanity, the one he threw at Denji to spare him the pain of getting involved in the horrible business of hunting demons.

Whether or not it was there to manipulate Denji by reminding him of his older brother, whether or not it was there by chance, it conveyed the same message: proof of the humanity of a man who lived for others. A man who was executed once again for that same community.

This community, Denji's fan club, is the cause of his deepest misfortune. Chainsaw Man has never been so popular, yet Denji has never been alone. Because he's not allowed to have loved ones. Nayuta, too, is proof of this: she wants her brother for herself, and convinces him that he's loved by others by acting under the cover of Chainsaw Man.

That's why Denji's intervention to stop the attack in progress is much less certain. All these fans, this humanity waiting for Chainsaw Man, are the source of his misfortune. Of course the fan club will call Chainsaw Man. What's less obvious...

Will Denji listen to their cries for help?

#csm spoilers #csm 142 #chainsaw man chapter 142 #chapter 142 #csm #csm part 2 #chainsaw man spoilers #chainsaw man #denji #fumiko #fumiko mifune #barem #nayuta #makima #aki #himeno #my thoughts #analysis

[litnerdwrites]

Feyre betrayed Nesta in the worst way...

It's a common stance that many people, regardless of if they love or hate Nesta/Rhys/the IC, seem to have, but I don't think it is. Was Nesta complacent in keeping it from her since she found out? Yes. Was that wrong of her? Yes again. Was blurting it out the way that she did also not ideal, to put it mildly? Absolutely yes. But was it out of malice? No.

And Nesta didn't care. Couldn't think around the roaring. 'Have any of them told you, their respected High lady, that the babe in your womb will kill you?' Amren barked, 'Shut your mouth!' But her order was confirmation enough. Face paling, Feyre whispered again, 'What do you mean?' 'The wings,' Nesta seethed. 'The boy's Illyrian wings will get stuck in your Fae body during the labour, and it will kill you both.'

The idea that this was all said in malice just never sat right to me, and after scrolling through some comments on a video discussing the matter, the pieces finally clicked into place. First, let's talk about the hike, though.

Her breakdown after that hike wasn't a moment of catharsis and letting walls down. It was a weeks worth of exhaustion, dehydration and depression that resulted in Nesta giving in to the torture she was put through just to end it. It was a pivotal moment in the IC's efforts to break and then reconstruct her to their liking, or rather, to Feyre's liking. However, a vital stepping stone in reaching this point would be for them to gaslight and isolate her until she truly had no one. I mentioned before that I didn't think anyone in the NC would chose Nesta, and this is an example of why I believe that.

Nesta snarled, but Feyre stepped between them, hands raised. 'This conversation ends now. Nesta, go back to the House. Amren, you...' She hesitated, as if considering the wisdom of ordering Amren around. Feyre finished carefully, 'You stay here.'

Nesta is clearly upset and hurting and Feyre disregards that entierly, not even offering to discuss or find out why Nesta is hurt or feeling the way she is. Feyre didn't bother to try and understand Nesta before and she isn't bothering now. Either Feyre assumes she knows what Nesta is thinking/ feeling, or she just doesn't care. She dismisses her, telling her to go back to her prison, disregarding Nesta's choices, autonomy and opinions again.

If I recall right, it was Amren who informed Nesta that she was free to go where she wanted if she made it down the ten thousand steps. Feyre wouldn't order Amren, even to stand up for her sister, but happily go against Amren's own words to punish Nesta? Hypocrisy at it's finest.

All of this leads to one outcome: Nesta feeling trapped. Cornered and without a single ally in the whorld who would defend her properly. Isolated from anyone who'd be willing to treat her with decency, while believing she doesn't even deserve the basics of kindness. It leaves Nesta more prone to actually going through with committing suicide, since the behaviour of these people, mixed with her own self hatred, sets a precedent for how Nesta believe she'd be treated.

We see this when Nesta first meets Emerie, thinking to herself that 'the invitations would stop' when Emerie learned what nesta was really like. Or at least what Nesta perceived herself to be like.

Even though Nesta has Emerie and Gwyn, she has no reason to think, based on what brainwashing the IC has already done coupled with her self deprecating mindset, that they wouldn't side with the IC. This isn't to say Emerie and Gwyn are like the IC by any means. I think they're great friends to Nesta, and if that changes or not later on is more so up to SJM and her writing, rather than their characterisation. It's the reality that the IC have created for Nesta through abuse, gaslighting and borderline torture that's wound up feeding in to Nesta's already existing trauma and self worth that has lead to her becoming isolated this way.

And Nesta didn't care. Couldn't think around the roaring. 'Have any of them told you, their respected High lady, that the babe in your womb will kill you?'

The comment on the video I saw explained that, while Nesta was angry when saying this, she wasn't trying to hurt Feyre or take her anger out on anyone. Nesta was angry because she wasn't told that she made a new trove. She was angry that these people had the audacity to vote on her life, and take bodily autonomy from her. She was angry that Feyre wasn't acknowledging or even trying to understand how Nesta was feeling. She was angry that she was treated like the bad guy- or more like a petulant child in this scene, I suppose- and had her feelings dismissed again.

Dismissed the way her mother/grandmother used to when she was trained. The way her father did when he refused to hunt. The way the Mortal Queens did when Nesta merely asked them to save her people. The way Feyre did when she asked for Nesta's help again, and again, and again during the war, only for it to never be enough in the eyes of other. The way that Elain did when she got upset at Nesta time and time again for how she handled her trauma or how she wasn't over her trauma or how Nesta tried to protect her. The way Cassian dismissed her feelings when he got mad at her for having an opinion of Rhysand.

Nesta was angry. She had every right to be angry. Most people would be angry, and alone, and if they already had suicidal thoughts like Nesta, having been abandoned by everybody while gaslit into thinking it was fine, and then only called upon to be used for the benefit of others while the snickered behind her back and dismissed her again.

As the commenter put it; She was trying to find someone who would relate to her anger. Nesta wanted an ally, someone who wouldn't leave her alone. Someone to be by her side and, perhaps subconsciously, thought that Feyre, who'd hunted for them and helped look after them for years, would chose Nesta's side.

The parallels between Nesta and Feyre's situation here are clear, and I think Nesta understood that when she said what she said. I think that Feyre believing Nesta said it to hurt her was a gross misunderstanding on her part, but it's not like she ever asked Nesta how she felt. Now that I think about it, for all that Feyre talks about Nesta feeling too much, and taking everything to heart, she never once confirms with Nesta. Never asks how Nesta feels.

Since coming to the Night Court, Nesta's feelings and traumas have been twisted and spoken about only in relation to how Feyre feels.

'Do you know how embarrassed I was when we got the bill this morning and my friends-my family- had to hear all about it?'

The intervention began, not because of Nesta doing something to risk hurting herself, but because Feyre was embarrassed and started crying into her breakfast.

'All of it pains me… It pains me that Nesta has become… this. It pains me that she and Feyre are always at each other’s throats. It pains me that Feyre hurts over it, and I know Nesta does, too.'

Cassian is pained, not because Nesta is suffering so greatly that she isolated herself for her own sisters (who didn't really act like sisters between the end of ACOWAR to... well now, so it's understandable), or because Nesta felt her only reprieve from her pain was in sex and alcohol, but because Feyre hurts over it. He knows Nesta does (but he doesn't know she hates fire? Or is uncomfortable at their social gatherings, since in ACOFS he somehow hoped she wouldn't take the bribe money and say she enjoyed their solstice party??? Because...Why?) But, of course, it's Feyre's feelings on the matter that are prioritised.

'Nesta is Nesta. She does what she wants, even if it kills her sister.'

Rhysand, not that I expect much from him, honestly, is utpse, not because he can't find a way to help Nesta. Not because his court is actively cruel to Nesta, hell, he joins in. Not because Nesta is in pain, in no small part because of him and his court. Not even because Nesta is spending his money. Because she's upsetting Feyre. Because, god forbid, Nesta have trauma and handle it in a way that doesn't make his wife happy.

Feyre tells others how she thinks Nesta feels, the others go with it, or just come to their own conclusions, not sure which is worse, but nobody stops to consider how she feels. Feyre feeling like Nesta said it to hurt her, I think, is simply proof that she doesn't understand Nesta.

Let me ask you, if you found out you were lied to in a way that affects your ability to make informed decisions regarding your own body, by someone you were supposed to trust, and who should've had your back, and that your own sibling has been betrayed by the same people in a very similar, if not identical way, and yet you're the one being turned into the bad guy, and dismissed, would that not make you feel isolated and frustrated?

It's understandable that Nesta tried, either consciously or subconsciously, feel less alone by appealing to common ground to find an ally. Nesta mentions at the end of ACOSF that she believes Feyre loved her from the start, and after those years in the cabin, I think Nesta sees Feyre as someone reliable.

This scene doesn't feels like Nesta trying to hurt Feyre. It feels like Nesta trying to reach out to the one person she could rely on; Feyre. Her mother was abusive, her father was a deadbeat, Elain was her ward, and the IC hate her.

'Nesta studied me for a long moment. And then she said with equal quiet, though we could all hear, “I can’t get into a bathtub, anymore. I have to use buckets.” I hadn’t known—hadn’t even thought that bathing, submerging water…'

Amren tells Cassian to keep reaching out his hand, even though Nesta has reached out her own time and time again. Esspecially to Feyre, as she was the one Nesta relied on before. Possibly even the only person Nesta has ever relied on, and Fyre was the one she was trying to rely on now.

Nesta relied on Feyre, and needed to rely on her again. To have strength together, in a situation where they both lost their choices and autonomy to Rhysand and his (cause don't pretend it's even slightly Feyre's) IC.

It may have been wrong to say it in that way, at that time, under those circumstances, but this, to me, feels like Nesta's way of reaching out her own hand only to be misunderstood, punished, and dismissed again. And again. And again.

In a way, I think Feyre might have, unintentionally, betrayed Nesta in a worse way than Elain ever has. Elain was a ward. Almost like a child, to Nesta. They were never on equal footing. Moreover, Nesta was never punished if she upset Elain, no that she should be, or if Elain misunderstood her. Nesta never relied on Elain the way she relied on Feyre. She never trusted or had faith in Elain, the way she clearly trusted Feyre. She had thought she'd found an ally, with similar pain, in Feyre, in the moments she spilled the secret, but Feyre didn't care.

When I was reading the scene where Cassian told Feyre his idea to take Nesta on a punishment hike, she sounded all too gleeful when telling him how miserable Nesta would be. That, in my opinion, is the worst betrayal of all.

#anti ic #anti inner circle #pro nesta #anti rhysand #nesta deserves better #anti acosf #pro nesta archeron #anti amren #anti mor #anti feyre #anti cassian #anti morrigan #anti rhys

[gangplanksorenji]

I. Apotheosis

Pairing: IVE Gaeul x Male Reader

Word Count: 10,660

A/N 1: Hello Orenjideul! I probably think this is late but it's better than never! The end was written a bit rushed and not further proofreading but I hope y'all like it! It's my special birthday fic for IVE's beautiful and captivating leader, Kim Gaeul! Wishing her the best day of her life and enjoy reading this angst, smut and fluff-filled fic!

A/N 2: Also, featuring someone at the end, hehe...

-----------------------------------

-----------------------------------

“Love can be the sweetest venom you can take.”

It certainly is, well, maybe, according to your experience.

You cursed yourself to never love again for the fact that it's more than unbearable to see your lover in someone's arms, comfortable, like your relationship never existed with her.

It hurts to see her go, to let her go—it fucking hurts, but, you needed to do what you need to do because you don't deserve her.

Strings of broken melodies played the piano when you cried, a symphony unfinished and cacophonous sounds ensued.

You bawled when that day came and you wanted to forget it, absolutely. Yet, simply, you just can't forget her like she never existed because you loved her so much that you gave your world to her but in the end, she annihilated yours and your heart…

Broken pieces and a scar left to you is all you had now and it still hurts to think about her. Your mind is clouded with her and her only and it hurts that you can't bring the past back.

It hurts to think about it…

It hurts.

No one can probably mend you—make you smile genuinely like she did, make you laugh like she did—no one can.

You wanted to move on, but the venom stays throughout your soul and you'd be damned to even think of getting it out—letting everything out because you still want her—

“Is everything alright, sir?”

A voice echoes around your ear, the soft tone lingers around you as you are woken up onto the reality of life that you wanted to end.

“You're like bawling your eyes out for like an hour now—”

“Isn't it obvious?” your tone harsh and laced with venom as maybe, the obliviousness of the girl is not your type of tolerating it. If you can't even tolerate the burning sensation of the alcohol scarring your throat then what more about the petite girl beside you?

“I'm s-sorry, sir. I'm just a little bit concerned about you—”

The girl's eyes glistens with fear as your tone does scares her, but she want answers and she's willing to do whatever it takes to make you comfortable in the best way possible—

“Hey, why don't you just give me a favor, hm?”

She leans her head down slowly, her senses perceived as she tries to hear the coarse, broken tone of your voice. “Okay, s-sir…”

“Why don't you just moved back and leave me the fuck alone, do you understand? Because I have no time for your reassuring bullshit—or just whatever you want to do, okay?”

The girl just nods and faces back away from you, doing what you've said. You didn't feel bad for her as you didn't care about anything and everything in this world, now.

It sucks to be heartbroken—at your lowest point with no one to lean on.

And maybe, someday, you'll regret the reckless and selfish disposition you've introduced to that girl—but who cares, anyway?

This is just a tough night to fight with, and it's not easy as the demons inside your head lures you into the abyss of unwanted vices.

------------

Drink. Gulp. Exhale. And it repeats, constantly.

You weren't like this but you'll do everything just to forget everything that scarred you even if it means for you to risk your life. You can't bother to think of anything other than uttering her name and the broken sounds of discomfort as tears run down your cheek slowly.

Drink more and drink another—the burning sensation down your throat makes you groan yet the sweetness of the liquid possibly contradicts the pain you’re feeling. It probably scars down your throat, at least not adding more to your broken heart.

The remnants of the broken melodies of her voice still lingers around your ear, hearing her voice and it hurts you even more. You slam down your curled fists—the strength not enough to cause a dent nor hurt you—onto the wooden table as you let out hints of contained anger and frustration from the earlier quarrel. You even wanna drink more to give yourself to the neverending wormhole of nothingness—bending the laws of nature just to get out of the agony you’re feeling right now—yet it’s not worth it to spend couple of bucks just for another bottle of alcohol that won’t even make you let her go.

It is not worth it; you should just go home.

It’s definitely not.

You then place the glass down and course your way out of the bar, just wanting to go home and commit into a deep slumber for your body to take a rest from this strenuous day.

Drowsiness controls over your enervated body and so is the dizziness affecting the way you act. You’ll go home no matter what happens and it starts with just a single flick of the key, starting the engine of you car then closing your door—

An arm stops you from that latter advance, making you furrow your eyebrows in disbelief before looking at the petite figure that’s been stopping you from closing your car’s door.

“Don’t sir, you’re drunk. You shouldn’t drive—”

You recognized her face with just a flash of your eyes towards her. You may be tipsy and heartbroken, but you’re not stupid nor easy to be manipulated as annoyance changes your demeanor.

“You again? Gosh—what do you want from me? Why do you even fucking care—”

“Please sir—” the petite, black-haired girl stops you from closing the door as she further extends her arm, leaving you immediately furious from her attempts. “—it's not worth it and you’re drunk. Please just call an Uber or something—”

“Let. go. of. it. Now. I swear to god—just leave me alone!”

The girl is stubborn as you ever expected and you hate it. You just wanna push her off in order for everything not to be halted but she's practically a stranger to you—you never wanna cause a fight of hurt with people you don't know, especially with a girl this beautiful and modest—

“No, sir. You may even get to an accident if you—”

“Just stop—” With no other choice, you flick your finger hard onto her arm, hurting her as she lets go, the pain making her rub all over the red spot in order to ease the pain. You immediately closed the door as soon as she freed herself from the imaginary restraints. You drove off hurriedly yet carefully, leaving the girl stranded on the parking lot as you can see her wince in pain as she caresses her arm to ease the burning sensation—she probably even glared at you because of what you've done but you didn't care because you just want to go home.

This is probably risky considering how you're feeling afloat because of the alcohol but that didn't stop you from your advances of getting home and thankfully, your apartment isn't that far enough and you can drive safely and carefully without wasting so much time. 

Thank god it was just like a fifteen-minute drive and thanks to little-to-no traffic, you got home faster than you expected—probably even safer, considering that if your body became so depleted that you slept and crashed onto something or someone. It is not a great sight to see as you could just imagine how your day will be worse if that did happen.

Thankfully, it didn't and you came home safe and sound.

But yet there’s no other sound that can’t be heard other than your silent cries of need—in need, of her.

You loved her so much that you almost gave up everything just for her.

You loved her so much that she's been your entire world and you’re almost into nothingness without her.

Speak of the devil, you’ve foreshadowed yourself into diving down onto the dark path of oblivion. Some may point out the obsessive form of love you have with her (in which, probably, you have) but the truth is, she made you better. Better in a sense that you became a better person today than what you are from the past and you absolutely thank her for that.

She made you the man that you are today, building up the foundations that made you stronger and such willpower that can reach even the farthest mountains yet it all went downhill, a landslide rupturing and annihilating the foundation that has been built slowly throughout the years now that she's out of your life.

You hated that you loved her, now you do.

She's your core memory you wanted to forget but you simply can't—because she's more than special.

It cuts like a knife seeing her go but there's nothing you can do to get her back.

“Why did she do that to me?” you muttered to yourself again, questioning the reality of a sin she's done that was impossible at first but now, was more than close on being possible.

While you bawl your eyes out, bottling out the deeply-contained emotions that has been kept inside you, you reach on your brown leather jacket, wanting to get your phone yet something caught your eye immediately—a note latched by a transparent adhesive onto your jacket that says: “김가을(Kim Ga-eul)” and then, possibly her number below it.

You already assumed it's that annoying girl that owes you everything and you just want to brush off that fact but you can't. Wanting to throw away the not-so-important note, you reflected on yourself and thought that she just wants to help you genuinely after all but why you and how did she know you’re going through something? If it's the others, they won’t bother talking to you nor do anything to mess with you—if you look like you always want to start up a fight, who will bother?

You know something is up with her and your gut is telling you so. Not to mention how comfortable she looks talking with you despite the possible fear evident on her countenance—it feels like she knew you a long time ago which is peculiar, to say the least.

You gotta know her more and her small actions of concern and uncanny relation to something you can't fathom just piqued your interest towards knowing her more.

*phone buzzes*

“Come on, come on—pick up….”

Every second brings a faster beating of your heart as it races intrepidity and anticipation. You became sober as the alcohol didn't have any effects on you anymore and the longing emotions of desolation makes you invulnerable for the liquid to take over you.

Clearing your mind, you now feel regret for being too harsh with the girl you’ve dealt with earlier—which is probably the person named “Kim Ga-eul”. You never wanted to act rude on the first place, yet there are two things that caused that sudden vexation within your demeanor: firstly, the passive-aggressive approach towards strangers as you need to be cautious whenever someone approaches you because you may get in danger and lastly, and probably the best reason of your demeanor, is because of you being not in the mood for everything because of a heartbreak.

There’s still heart in you even if you’re totally broken and lost and you need to apologize to her—that’s your current goal to do as you can’t scar yourself with another grudge that will make you guilty until the end of times.

“Come on—”

“Hello? Who is this?”

Her voice and its tone—it’s definitely the girl you’ve been looking for and a sigh of relief escaped your breath as she answered the phone.

“Hello—look, I know I’m too rude earlier and I’m sorry for that. I shouldn’t really—”

*phone beeps*

The line disconnects and you’ve never felt so gloomy and disappointed with yourself (possibly a metaphor since you’re already feeling down and worthless). You could’ve done better but you let out the rage inside you and you hate it. Now you feel guilty of what you’ve done to her and possibly may scar her since she may not trust any strangers from now on because of what you’ve done.

No, you’re going to apologize to her no matter what—you’ll mend the broken link that she made with you, even though it’s fragile at the moment but her giving your number and her name says something that she’s probably interested in you.

She’s maybe interested in helping you too…

A girl like her can probably combat the depression you’re feeling as of now—she may also mend what’s broken on you and possibly, fix you.

Sighing in defeat, you gave up on calling to her as she possibly ignores the past three calls you’ve made because of fear yet you’re not giving up just like that. Leaving a text to possibly reassure her, you faintly smile as the girl that you fought with earlier is now clouding your mind, even though you met her in a not-so-special way—possibly, a regrettable day for the both of you yet a memorable one. 

Your enervated body can’t keep up to open your eyes or move a muscle as you fall and give in to your drowsiness, slowly closing your eyes and getting yourself into a deep slumber.

----------------

Sets of multiple chirps from the birds outside your apartment woke you up as it's loud enough to be your makeshift alarm clock yet those are way more peaceful than the ones you're used to. You slowly open your eyes only to see the dishevelment of everything around you—the sofa pillows dispersed around the vicinity of your couch, the crumpled tissues and cans around the coffee table, your jacket on the floor as it was probably made as a makeshift blanket in the earlier hours of your sleep.

You regain energy for a couple of seconds and rise up from the couch, reaching for your phone after as you're anticipating to read the possible reply of the girl you've made contact with and to your surprise (not really), she didn't reply.

Yet. Yet.

Well, there's still a chance of a reply later or the next day—all you know is that she'll respond to your possibly desperate attempts of assurance towards her and that you'll never give up until you get that desired choice of words from hers, even if it only flashed within those blue pixels on your phone.

You sigh heavily thinking that it's maybe over yet the optimistic side of you says that yes, she'll reply anytime. 

She inevitably will and that's the thought buried inside your mind.

Yawning as the post-sleep drowsiness is still all over you, you power yourself through rejuvenating and stretching your muscles and arms. Not so long after, you clean up everything that's a mess and prepare yourself to make a simple breakfast consisting of scrambled eggs with spring onions, some toasted eggs with butter and lastly, some freshly-brewed coffee with a hint of sugar as the cherry on top.

Munching onto the egg-filled bun, you scroll your fingertips down to your phone and just within a minute of surfing through social media, a familiar name with a message pops up as a notification and it makes your heart skip a beat from the utmost anticipation.

김가을 (Kim Gaeul) on 7:48 - “Sorry for bothering you too…”

Five words yet thousands of emotions can be felt coursing through your veins as you feel butterflies after reading such a short message. It's a relief knowing that the girl is not utterly scared for her life because of you but you're still feeling skeptical considering what you've done wrong to her as a first, not-so-accidental approach.

You'll do everything to further reassure her as you don't want to scar yourself  into thinking that she'll hold that grudge until her hair grows white so with an immediate action, you text her if she's down to meet you up on the same bar the both of you first met up. Of course, the adrenaline and the tension of your knees can't bear to be hidden in every word you type. You really wanted to apologize to her badly and to clear your name towards her yet a reflection hit you—what if she takes this negatively? Like, she might feel uncomfortable meeting up with you after what happened yesterday?

Sudden reflections with a hint of doubt hit you as your approach throughout the situation might be eccentric to nature yet it’s a gamble—a risk worth more than playing a deck of cards; a risk worth remembering or worth forgetting.

It's not like you're going to lose anything if the two of you didn't end on good terms with each other—the both of you are just strangers after all with a relationship fragile than a fiber of hair; a bond more shallow than an acquaintance.

It's not like that easy to let her go despite the situations said above because there's something within that made you captivated with her charms and the uncanny thought of her possibly knowing you before. 

You swear to god you haven't met her once in your life yet, but… is it not the same boat on her side?

It may or may not, you don't care because at the end of the day, you'll aim to figure this out with her and possibly, be friends with her.

You swear to god you won't love anyone again other than her but she may break the short-living curse you swore until your deathbed. 

If you can just send more pleas close to a hundred towards her even through text you absolutely would yet it's a hyperbolic exaggeration. But like, applying more bandages onto the wound won't help it heal faster, so, you just waited for her reply hoping that she's down and to your surprise, she agreed to meet up with you.

You smiled like an idiot, full of delight yet not that bright. You hurriedly prepared yourself to look as presentable as possible—decently dressed and neat and not looking like a lowlife in distress.

Locking the doors and securing everything on leaving with necessities, you hop onto your car right away and go straight to the bar the both of you first met.

Hopefully, this ends well on a good note…

-----------------------

Tapping and fidgeting your fingers onto the wooden surface of the table, you sigh slowly full of nervousness and utter excitement as every second counting feels heavy. Time ticks as you wait for the beautiful girl to meet you and as soon as you saw her walking her way towards the glass door, time felt eerie and slow—not frightening but more likely uncannily strange—as her modest walk sends you heart beating triple times, her inching closer towards the table you're in. You fix your posture and your demeanor, hoping to have a better “first” approach than what you showed her yesterday which is clearly embarrassing and unacceptable, to say the least.

You then opted to take the chair out as a gentlemanly move but she insisted, saying that it's just alright if you don't do it and she's not used to boys acting like a gentleman. You just nod but she still thanked you for your sweet, little actions. Despite the awkward moment, you take a look at her flawless features sculpted perfectly by the gods themselves—probably an angel in disguise, distinctable right from her beautiful, brown eyes up to her porcelain skin—god, she’s drop-dead glamorous.

“Hello…”

A faint voice escapes your lips, your tone softer than a feather as she responds with a bow and greeting you softly too. The awkward silence was broken with a single word uttered from the girl’s lips, smiling faintly as she felt charmed with your looks.

“Hi…”

You smile from her response as you make eye contact with her, in a sense of total seriousness and aim to let her forgive your reckless actions yesterday.

“Uhm, I’m really sorry about yesterday. I was just like, not in the mood for anything.”

“I’m also sorry too—”

“No, no—” you interrupt her unnecessary apologies towards you as you wanted to tell her that it’s all your fault and not hers.

It wasn’t, but with a pure heart like her, she still found a way to apologize to you which made your heart flutter yet it also makes her vulnerable for deception. Acceptance is a must, but you don’t find any way that she should accept the fact that it’s her fault, so you reassure her thoroughly and let her feel comfortable with you.

“—I’m clearly on the wrong side here. I shouldn’t really act like that towards strangers and also, I appreciate your concerns towards me but—” her eyes glistens with anticipation, ready to discern everything that’ll escape from your lips—

“—it’s not really none of your business but, yeah. I dearly appreciate your concern towards me yesterday. I was just too lost and controlled by my own emotions…” you bow down your head in dismay as you remember the moments of quarrel between her and you again—where everything went downhill and possibly, the lowest point of your life.

“Hey, hey, it’s going to be alright. I just tend to have the urge of helping people when they feel lost or in need of guidance or something—like, I can sense it…”

She’s so pure and innocent—she’s like the closest epitome of a saint. You can’t look her in the eyes anymore but she does, and she looks intently at you; her eyes gleaming in awe and anticipation.

“It’s going to be alright, trust me…”

You smile faintly at her. It's purely genuine this time as her reassurance heals you slowly, mending your broken heart.

“Thank you, genuinely.”

“N-no problem—by the way, can I know your name? I—uhm, just felt weird that we instantly talked to each other without me knowing y-your name…”

You huffed as you got shy from her sudden actions as you softly replied to her, your tone still audible in a way yet soothing and deep.

“Uhm—my name is Wooseol and you’re… Gaeul, I suppose??”

“Y-yes, my name’s Gaeul. Kim Gaeul and I suppose you already knew my name because of t-the note?”

 You scoff as your hand sheepishly scratched the back of your neck, feeling shy towards her. “Y-yeah… I also just assumed it was your name because you were the last person I talked with and the note wasn’t there on my jacket before I met you.”

“But you could never assume that always, right?” Gaeul giggles as she teases you with no harmful intentions, making you sheepishly laugh at her mischievous remarks.

“Yeah—but is it really your name? Gaeul?”

“Yeah, *giggles* I was just teasing you…”

Both of you smiled at each other as you felt comfortable talking with her, her playful and clever attitude checking the boxes of your ideal type. As much as it hurts to let her go and your unconditional love still shouting out her name, Gaeul is probably the one that’s destined for you and the kind of girl that is loyal and will love you passionately like how you loved her.

Maybe it’s just because Gaeul has been clouding your mind since yesterday and your emotions are taking over you, again—who knows?

You still don’t want to take things way too fast with her and you need a moderate pace for upping the relationship with her but establishing a good bond with her will be a great move, so, you asked her something and this time, you felt more confident than the earlier timid approach.

“Gaeul, m-may I ask you something?”

Her eyebrow furrowed, her gaze fixated onto yours, leaving you breathless before responding a simple, “Yes?”

This is your chance now so go and take it.

“Can we b-be friends? At least… *scoffs*”

God, it’s so awkward and all of a sudden—you muttered to yourself as you feel off while saying that but nonetheless, Gaeul blushed and took it as a nice initiative from you. She didn’t hesitate to nod immediately, signaling that you can be friends with her. This feels like you’re going to your old high school days, asking someone to be friends with them and it’s like rolling a dice because you’ll never expect if they will say a rejuvenating “yes” or a heart-breaking “no”.

But it doesn’t matter. Knowing that everything’s fine with Gaeul makes this day a lot better, making you feel delighted than ever and possibly, healing the wound she caused on your heart.

It seemed strange how everything unfolded and the sudden acceptance of apologies, but it's just going to get better from now on and everything's holding you back to where you were—a strong man being healed by an angel. 

“Also, may I ask one thing with you, Gaeul?”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Are you younger than me or not? Because I was born in 2002 and I was thinking that it’s a bit disrespectful not calling you with honorifics—”

Her eyes lit like flames, full of desire as she’s shocked that she’s the same age as you. 

“Woah—no, it’s alright Wooseol-ie… I’m born in the same year too! You don’t need to address me as a noona *giggles*.”

You lightly giggle at her response, also shocked by the fact that she was born at the same year as you and you didn’t expect that. You continued talking with her and actually got to know each other’s personalities more. That doesn’t come with a bit of bickering and small laughs which is the cherry on top of every fun and engaging conversation. Not so long after, she asked for your number and unhesitantly, you typed your number on her contact and it comes with a bright smile of hers that captivates you more, falling onto her spell slowly.

---------------------------

Boisterous laughs full of joy and stupid memories, teak-jerking moments from the past that were poignant to feel inside and a lot more was shared with the beautiful girl beside you as the hours went by. It felt like you’ve started all over again as the undying feeling of ecstasy fueled you into a good mood today and of course, the feeling of love coursing to your veins can be felt again. You don’t want to rush things with her, like engaging in another relationship or something crazier than that but you can’t help yourself to feel that way. Who are you to blame if an angelic, heaven-sent girl came down and be friends with you? You’re absolutely not to be blamed here.

Well, even with the inevitable happiness you’ve felt with her earlier, there’s still a feeling of guilt and sadness that’s corrupting your heart slowly, breaking it into pieces. Why so? Because you still love her.

They may say that you must move on as the past is already buried in the past, but you want to write your own, brilliant future with her but you need to do what you must do. The pain is agonizing to deal with, but you’ll believe in saying that whenever there’s pain in your life and you’ve endured, you’ll be rewarded with a good cause and really hope that it’ll be true.

Let those pessimistic thoughts fade away as you’re only investing your interest towards Kim Gaeul only and only her.

It’s getting dark and the sun will set soon as the orange skies can be seen onto the horizon, another day ending yet there’s nothing near an end when you’re still with Gaeul.

Probably, the two of you may consider this a date on how much you’ve bonded over the hours. This may feel surreal and out of the blue yet you won’t complain as everything feels enchanted and you want that feeling.

“Want me to order another drink, Seol-ie?”

“Oh, no, I’m already good, Gaeul. Thanks though…”

The both of you wander over the horizon under the pine tree, taking a gulp on the sweet beverage you both love. It doesn’t come with a deep sigh in every gulp and your eyes wandering down to her angelic features. The both of you still converse with each other, sharing and reminiscing the core memories from the past and how you’re grateful and regretful having to experience those. 

The both of you became so comfortable with each other that you began to empathize with her and that never felt this good. 

Sure, it really boosts up your mood and morale within the given time as you feel open to someone you're comfortable with but talking with Gaeul feels way different. Maybe it's just a certain feeling of affection and love towards her and your biased thoughts yet who are you to blame?

“Thank you for these things, Seol-ie… I never shared this much with someone and I—felt s-so—I don't really know how to describe it—”

“I can't describe it either and I also feel the same way, Gaeul… I s-still can't believe all of these happened just within a single day…”

It does feel too fast yet you won't complain any further because at the other boat, Gaeul's enamored countenance possibly comes to a conclusion that she liked talking with you.

“This feels unreal, yeah—I feel that way too and I—uhm—s-sorry for being like this Seol-ie. It's just been awhile since I talked to someone like this…”

Gaeul faces you and you face her, making eye contact as you can see flames of passion igniting beneath those lovely, brown eyes of hers. You smiled at her and reassured her to not apologize since this is completely normal to feel because you feel the same way too.

Butterflies on your stomach—that's the best description of what the both of you are feeling right now! Yes, yes it is.

“It's alright. It's normal to feel butterflies in these situations.”

You put down your drink at the wooden seat of the bench as you gently course your hand to brush against hers, feeling her soft, porcelain skin touch yours is genuinely captivating.

“I also want to thank you for listening to me. It was hard breaking up with her but like, I had to do it. Thank you for that, Gaeul.”

You faintly smile as the coarseness of your voice becomes evident once you mention her. 

Gaeul knows deep down your heart that you still love her—she can see it in your eyes; how your pupils dilated and widen every time you mention alongside a hint of tear running down your cheek, in which, to her response, wipes it down with her finger.

“Hey, hey, it probably hurts but, I guess we should take our time to move on and accept it. It's probably letting her go but if you knew it was the best for you, then you made the right choice.”

Gaeul inches closer to you and smiles at you, her reassurance definitely healing the wound that’s been scarring you for the past week.You then thanked her with all your heart because of her listening to you and being understanding to the current situation you’re in. 

You never thought how pure and down to earth Gaeul is and that’s the beauty of it. Hearing her deep, soothing voice while talking just puts you in tranquil, in a state where everything just feels right and peaceful with her and you love it.

You probably fell into her spell now—falling in love with her and just her only.

“Thank you for the kind words, Gaeul. I—really owe you because of this—”

“No, it’s really fine, Seol-ie! I’m just like—you know, giving you advice for the better you to possibly come back.”

And she’s just making you fall in love with her even more and there’s the venom that you’re going to take. A venom because of the fact that you still love her but Gaeul’s just captivating your heart even more at this moment, and you would like to up the ante.

“Uhm, Gaeul, may I ask you something?”

“Uhm, sure!”

You sigh, regaining the confidence and the will to say this to her as you anticipate something that will make you smile in delight or will break your heart.

“I really, really appreciate everything you’ve said and I just wanna really say that I really like you, Gaeul.”

A momentary pause breaks the noise and the tension between the both of you, your eyes anticipating a response for her and Gaeul herself a bit shocked yet flustered with your sudden confession.

“You know, Wooseol—I really like you too and it’s genuine but…”

“But?”

She sighs as she gains the courage but a sudden realization hit her, responding to you with an amicable tone and brushing off the intrusive thought she has in mind.

Or is it…

“—N-nothing, really. It’s just—I’m a bit shocked I guess, you know? Not really used to this feeling…”

“It’s fine, Gaeul. I really liked you from the beginning but I was just scared of being rejected because of what I did yesterday and honestly, you’re perfect.”

The word resonates around her ears as it felt enchanting to hear the seven-letter word to be directed to her. She hides her face in embarrassment because of your heartfelt compliment towards her as you giggled softly because of her adorable, little actions.

“Yah~ Seol-ie. D-don’t make me blush like that—”

You then catch her gaze again, your eyes fixated on looking at her only as you let your thoughts win and confessed everything to her.

You’re so mad in love with her right now and you’ll let her know that.

“But I’m for real, Gaeul! You’re beautiful, down-to-earth—you’re perfect to my eyes. I feel so assured and I feel loved because of you, Gaeul—I love you…”

Cupping her cheek with your palm and inching closer to her, she was flummoxed with the sudden action of yours but doesn’t complain as she’s feeling the same towards you—the feelings are mutual and there’s no one that’ll stop the both of you from letting everything out.

Gently and slowly, you caress her cheeks and let everything out—

“I l-love you too, Seol-ie—you probably don’t k-know this but—”

As soon as you heard the word, it triggered something in you resulting in a deep, captivating kiss onto her lips. She reciprocated slowly as you felt the love and the sweet taste of the flesh brushing off against hers. She tastes incredible as the strawberry lipstick makes you feel insatiable towards her, kissing her passionately. You immediately pulled out as you felt guilty for being too rushed onto an anticipating climax. The both of you exchanged breaths as the short, enthralling session made the both of you feel butterflies into your stomachs (of course, it’s figurative).

“W-woah… Getting too excited, Seol-ie?” she giggled as punches your chest lightly, in a state of shock and awe as your actions definitely moved a muscle on her hibernating heart—a beast being woken up from its long slumber.

“Sorry about t-that, Gaeul—I c-can’t help it—you made me feel this way. I’m sorry about t-that…”

“There’s no need to—the f-feelings are mutual.”

You flash another smile to her, letting her know how much you love the feeling of insatiability towards her as you anticipate more or none.

“Wooseol…”

“Yes, Gaeul? Is there anything wro—”

She shushes you with a single finger brushing onto your lip as she adorably captivates you, “There’s nothing wrong, Seol-ie. I just w-want you—now, please…”

She wants you for now? What does that even mean—oh…

Yes, and you knew what she’s feeling right now—the absolute need for you and to feel your love.

“Gaeul—” you inch away from her a little bit as you ask her if she’s serious about it and there’s no games being played. “—what do you mean by this? Are you in need of—”

“Just you, Seol-ie—just you, please.”

It’s the glint on her eyes, tears being held back from the emotions she’s about to unshackle—the uncontained feeling of need, unable to be restrained anymore with just a hair’s width of chains holding it together. She demands you and it’s evident on her eyes and her hands naturally—and possibly involuntarily—caressing your thigh for further encouragement.

You know that this is not the place to take action upon her request and needs, so, you had a better plan in store for the both of you that she’ll surely love.

“Let’s just take this on to my place, shall we? Because I don’t want people to see us like this in public.”

She knows you have a point and she doesn’t want to get caught up and get embarrassed so she eagerly nods as the both of you stood up on the bench while the both of you were sitting and got your unfinished drinks. 

The eyes—specifically her eyes seeking venture towards the promised land. She is brave; she is brilliant; she is her. You knew how adventurous she can be as she shared how bold and vocal she is whenever she wanted to do something but this was probably over her bucket list of wants. 

The both of you then went to your car, readying yourselves to go onto your place and you can’t wait how everything will unfold once this day closes its own chapter.

----------------------------

Traveling down the breeze of the wind is sure enthralling and the both never felt so comfortable to be in touch with nature’s finest. There were little to no cars to be seen on the streets as probably, the roads are busier onto the other side of the metropolis and that’s the wonder—you went back home safely and faster than expected as traffic was non-existent. The lack of possibly heavy traffic during these busy hours is surprising yet you’re not complaining.

“Aaaand we’re here in my humble home!” your cheerful tone rejuvenates the earlier silent aura around the apartment as she was in awe of how good your apartment looks, almost so cozy to live in and probably, her ideal place to rest with.

“Woah… Your a-apartment looks really nice, Seol-ie. It’s like—it probably feels cozy to live here!”

You sheepishly laugh as you scratch your head, feeling flustered about the compliment she said on how tidy and invigorating the cleanliness of your apartment is. You’re also just a big fan of cleaning stuff and organizing things and it’s just wholesome seeing someone appreciating your aspects—possibly your personality too.

“This is just something simple—nothing really much, heh—”

“Oh come on, Wooseol—your place looks really good and neat but other than that—”

You definitely know where this will go yet you still want to have her own ways and not yours. As much as she wants to appreciate everything, she can’t let her needs unattended as you pin her slowly onto the couch, letting herself rest on it as your face is now just centimeters close to her, almost kissing her in the process.

“Why is Gaeul getting proactive? Really want me, hm?”

“Stop—but I do, I really do want you even b—” she paused for a moment as you were caught off-guard, stopping yourself from your playful antics with her.

“What, Gaeul?”

“N-nothing, Seol-ie—I just become nervous about these kinds of things…”

You cup her cheek as you look her in the eyes, assuring her that everything will be fine and she just needs to be confident with herself. You can see the passion burning behind those glowing orbs of hers and the feeling is really mutual between the both of you. After a smile enunciating the final signal, you let yourself fall onto her spell as you latch your lips onto her slowly, her immediately reciprocating on the kiss that was so torrid since the start and you absolutely love it.

The clashing of both the velvety-red flesh never stopped but intensified as every second fades, the dueling between the both of you let each other know how much you want each other. 

The unstoppable force meets the immovable object and both are really the great epitome of that paradox—but there's no such paradox if everything is evidently true and the lust between each kiss explains everything well.

“God—Gaeul—you're such a talented kisser."

“No, you are, Seol-ie—mmph!”

You continue barraging her lips with your own delightful act, each kiss dominating her as she moans softly while eagerly reciprocating. Her hands then roam around your neck, your abs and your chest, caressing the clothed skin softly as she feels the tension between the both of you.

“Gosh, you're so insatiable, Gaeul.”

You kiss her again, and again, yet this time, there's more burning passion and assertive dominance as you add a little bit of tongue for spiciness.

And to no surprise, she reciprocates on your lustful actions by doing the same, both of your tongues dancing and battling for dominance and neither can win nor lose.

She let herself be free and so did both of your saliva seeping out of your mouth, the vehemence on each torrid, lustful kiss sendong serotonin down your veins. 

After a hot minute of kissing, you pulled out of her seemingly tight suction of her lips as she whined a little alongside her moans, wanting to feel more yet oxygen is to blame here.

“T-too g-good, Seol-ie—that w-was great—ohh…”

“You k-kiss me so well too, Gaeul. Have y-you done this b-before?”

Almost getting in a state of trance, you invigorate yourself by distracting your eyes onto her immaculate features and your hands haphazardly caressing and roaming down her waist. She subtly moans as she tries to think of an articulate answer but really can't.

 “M-maybe just once, Seol-ie. It's also a g-good experience but yours is b-better—you're a better kisser than h-him…”

You're perplexed that she already had a good experience with this kind of scenario yet you didn't mind that—it's maybe written the stars on how talented she is and that's the beauty of her.

Despite the little talk, you still want her and to feel her, just like how she wants you. With that in mind and being the gentleman that you are, you ask her permission for something you want to do, anticipating for a “yes” escaping her luscious lips.

“May I, Gaeul?” 

Brushing off the little hair that's been covering the pristine skin of her neck, you wanted to latch onto those soft flesh but you waited for her permission. Of course, knowing how much she wanted you, she never hesitated to nod as she knew exactly what you wanted to do with her.

She unbuttons the two buttons on her oversized long sleeves, making you peek onto her sharp hint of collarbones and the porcelain skin if her neck as you gently meet your lips onto the musky scent of her flesh, suckling on it as she moans full or fervor yet it's still soft.

You pepper her skin full of kisses as her moans just reverberate around your ear, making you up the ante the intensity of your kisses. You don't want to mark her but probably you will considering how much the suction is being felt between both worlds yet she doesn't complain but rather helps you out—herself positioning comfortably for you and guiding your left hand onto her waist to further feel her affection.

“Gosh—m-more please, Seol-ie—ahh, right there!”

Latching onto her collarbones now, she feels the kryptonite running down her veins as she succumbs onto submission, fully submitting herself onto the sea of kisses that you initiated and her drowning herself into her absolute desires.

“Please, Seol-ie—I can't t-take it anymore—I want to do something m-more than this…”

“But I'm still not done kissing you, baby.”

God—the pet name—she did not see that coming.

It doesn't matter because deep down, she likes it and you can see it in her eyes—her eyes don't lie.

“But please—”

You stop peppering her as she whines almost inaudibly onto your ear, Gaeul feeling the soft flesh detach onto her neck. At this moment, she’s nigh-insatiable as you couldn’t contain anything that you’ve been unshackling since the day you met her. This escalated quickly but you didn’t care anymore—you just want her and her only and that is what matters.

“What do you exactly want from me, hm? Enlighten me, Kim Gaeul…”

You smirk as you mock her, making her squirm quietly as she can’t help but feel the absolute delight of her whole life because of you. The sudden foreplay is working, you can’t just be damned to do that forever as your animalistic urges take over you yet still control it as you don’t want to get harsh on Gaeul.

A sudden ring on her phone distracts you but her hands directed your chin, making you look at only her and nothing else.

“Eyes here, Seol-ie—please—”

“Don’t you want to answer that? That’s probably important, no? Or I’ll just go and check it—”

“No!” Gaeul yelps as she grabs your wrists, pleading and insisting you to not further check it because it’s nothing important. She then grabs her phone and puts it on “silent” so the both of you won’t be further distracted. 

“It’s just one of my friends calling. I’ll call them later whenever we’re done—so, please, just—”

You inch closer and closer to her again, until your faces are just a hand’s width away from each other.

“Tell me, Gaeul—what do you exactly want?”

“Y-you—to feel you, Seol-ie.”

You course a hand onto the waist then onto her hips, caressing it slowly as she moans because of your sudden actions.

“Be exact, Gaeul. Enlighten me more and let it all out. After all—” you inch your lips near her ear, the hot breath tingles her as you whisper, “—it’s just the both of us here.”

You now face her with a smirk that further lures her into her own profanities. You know where this is going but you wait for her to be addressed first before yours because she’s all that matters today.

“I w-want y-you to—f-fuck me, Seol-ie… I want t-to experience that—I want y-your cock to—gahh-ahh!”

You brush your fingers slowly onto the clothed crotch, making her squirm and her legs tremble in delight. She’s getting bolder and daring as she addresses her lustful profanities to you, and it’s only a matter of time for those earlier wishes to be fulfilled.

“Tell me more, Gaeul. More of it—”

And there she goes, succumbing to the sea of lust and letting everything out.

“W-want your cock to plunge d-deep into my tight, little p-pussy—gahh—a-and f-fuck me hard and f-fast—ga-ahh!”

She can’t articulately think of words to describe what she needs as you quicken up the pace of your teasing onto her clothed crotch. You can feel the inevitable wetness being released from her reservoir as the teasing and the overgoing feeling of serotonin making her brain go haywire.

“Tell me more, Gaeul—you’re almost there.”

“W-ant y-you to fuck m-me fast and h-hard until I s-scream in p-pleasure and c-cum all over yo-your cock—g-ahh—and I—fuck!”

“That’s enough, baby.” you stop teasing her as she falls onto the couch, comfortable and relaxed yet uneasy as her thighs are still quivering because of the sudden cause of pleasure.

“I think we should go to my bedroom, Gaeul and do what you want with me…”

Her mouth shivers as she stutters because she can’t help but still feel the aftermath of the things you’ve caused her—you swear to god she almost came all just from that teasing and that’s why she’s struggling but deep inside, you know she loved it.

You still keep asking her if she’s really up for this but she’s really pushing for this and is no stranger to anything like this as she wants to fulfill her fantasies with you.

This is gonna be one hell of a night…

----------------------

“God—I knew she would do this! How am I so stupid!” The girl shouts furiously, frustrated at herself as she’s not having the time of her life because another missed call from possibly hundreds of failed calls from her friend.

She half-expected this to happen but she’s just paranoid to think about anything related to vice in her vocabulary but she can’t do anything, yet…

“We’ll have a bad time tomorrow, Gaeul…”

----------------------

“Seol-ie, please—w-want to feel you…”

“Baby, you gotta be patient—I don’t want to hop onto the climax immediately.”

She keeps kissing you fervently, tongues battling around each other as you pull out again from her vacuum, wanting to teach her something and let her know something.

“I a-also wanted to try something that you'll surely like too…”

“What is it, Seol-ie?”

You sat down onto the bed, spreading your legs wide as you stole a gaze to her, smirking at the thought of what you’re about to enlighten her.

“Have you imagined sucking a dick, Gaeul? Like, I assume you already know what that means—”

“Y-yes, Seol-ie. I’ve always wanted to try that for real and not always in a dildo.”

What a girl Gaeul is, truly. Outside, she is an angel, a pure-hearted girl with everything on her—the nigh-epitome of perfection—yet it’s all like in a disguise.

The angel in disguise and the devil in her eyes. 

You never expected her to be this kinky and dirty, yet you didn’t care about that as you wanted her as much as she wanted you—and again, that’s all that matters. Kneeling down with her face just inches between your clothed erection, her eyes burn with lust as her tongue licks the caldera of her mouth, preparing on what she’s about to take and you, yourself, preparing what sin’s about to happen.

“Please do the honors, baby…”

She tugs the side of your hips, unbuckling your belt hurriedly and unzipping your pants. Her hands are trembling slightly but you assure her with a pat on the head. It definitely works as she feels way more confident than before, now dropping the first layer of your clothed defenses against your crotch. Her eyes lit up in awe as she saw how hard you became and it made her blush knowing that it’s her cause. Now taking a deep breath, she yanks down your boxers as she was met with your rock-hard erection, standing tall and dripping with a little bit of that colorless liquid. She massages your balls gently and stroked the base of your shaft, earning a subtle moan from you because of her good handwork.

“God, baby—that’s good—do I need to teach you or you’ll do it all yourself?”

She keeps her moderate pace between her strokes as she looks you directly in the eyes, “Let m-me do everything, Seol-ie—just relax yourself…”

And there she goes, diving in and plunging her lips onto the tip of your shaft in which, in response, you squirm uncontrollably as her warm mouth meets the raging mushroom tip as her tongue circles around the slit, collecting the pre-cum that has been leaking out. She moans in delight as she finally tastes you—one step until she obtains your primordial seed.

She dances her tongue onto your frenulum and up to the corona of the tip as you squeal because of the sudden hit of pleasure. She just insists on sucking the tip just to give you a tease on what she can do and surprisingly for a first-timer, she’s not doing bad—maybe just the serrated culprit making the pain a little bit unbearable but nonetheless, she’s doing a magnificent job.

“God—what a good girl y-you are—you really are a good girl, Gaeul. Fuck! Keep d-doing that…”

And she didn’t stop pleasuring you, stealing glances and making eye contact too from time to time as her adorable face contradicts the act of sin she’s dealing with between your legs—you don’t why, but it’s so fucking hot.

Now engulfing more inches of your shaft, she starts to gag a little bit because of your girth activating her reflex but she didn’t quit and further bobbed her head with a pace that’s moderately pleasurable. Her tongue working in tandem with her mouth to increase your libido is the breaking point and the dexterity of her hands fondling your balls gently is just crossing a line, in a pleasurably good way. She now takes almost full of your shaft, her pace immediately quickening as you moan uncontrollably, another symphony being composed as you grip her hair, making a makeshift ponytail to fight the excessive pleasure coursing down your veins.

When she looks up, she looks ruined as her make-up is now a mess, tears running down her cheek and the saliva seeping out of her mouth in every thrust she does with face onto your raging length. 

She’s way too great to be an amateur or is it just the fact that your head is ultimately clouded with pleasure that you can’t think straight to judge her skills—but it doesn’t matter as long as you’re getting the pleasure you’ve been wanting to experience for a long time and Gaeul having a good time sucking your dick—that’s all that matters.

“S-stop—Gaeul…”

She still continues to bob her head down frantically, your brain now feeling the familiar knot in your loins which signals the near denouement of the play—the dam breaking loose, signaling your release.

“I said stop, Gaeul!”

She pulls out of your shaft, strands of saliva connected down her mouth and onto your slit as her eyes convey fear. Her puppy-like, brown eyes went uneasy and the furrowing of her eyebrows lets you know how scared she became once you furiously shouted that.

“I-is there a-anything wrong, Seol-ie?” Still catching her breath from the lack of oxygen, she asks you with a tone that distinguishes fright.

“N-no, Gaeul—I j-just want to fuck your pussy now. You d-did a brilliant job sucking m-me off. I’ll feel that until later…”

A sigh of relief escapes her lips knowing that you’re not disappointed or frustrated with her performance but rather enjoyed it.

Now getting up from her previous position, you guide her towards the bed as you completely undress yourself. She strips her clothes slowly, as you watch in amusement, your dick still twitching in need as her full body is on display—petite breasts, small waist, plump butt, mouth-watering thighs and to top it all off, her dripping, wet holes.

“Sorry if it’s not too—”

“Oh come on, Gaeul—it’s perfect just the way it is.”

You then pin her slowly on the bed, kissing lips passionately as she smiles because of your compliments. You then pepper her collarbones with kisses, causing her to moan in need as she’s asking you something that will rile you up for sure.

“How would you w-want to fuck me, Seol-ie, hm?”

A daring question but you’ll immediately answer—

“I’d like to take you from behind, baby. Wanna see this plump ass get pummeled and your holes get wet with my dick.”

“I’d love to be the guest of t-that—hihi~”

She now positions herself in all fours, her arms supporting her body and her face being buried against the mattress. You can see the wetness on her core and it’s oh-so mouth-watering to be feasted on—as much as you want to eat her pussy up, you don’t want to waste time as you want to fuck her and feel her heat. 

You brush your fingers against her wet folds, earning a squirm from the petite lady on all fours. You tease your leaking slit onto her labia which causes her to beg for more and moan sexily, her lewd tone ringing around your ear.

“P-please, j-just put it in to me—just w-want to feel your—oh, fuck!”

Surprising her, you insert your tip onto the entrance of her heated core as you groan on how tight it is—much tighter than what you expect. After all, it was an unclaimed pussy so you weren’t surprised either.

“Gosh—so fucking tight, Gaeul! So, so, fucking tight—arghh, I’m pounding you real good…”

“Please d-do—ahh, you’re stretching me out!”

“It’s just my tip inside you, yet. Wait until you feel it all—the real one…”

And you unleash the beast inside you by bringing in a moderate pace, fucking her with a force that’s not too hard yet not too lacking either. It’s a great pace for and you and her to get used to each other as you gently fuck her—just withdrawing with the tip inside and then slamming back in, balls-deep into her tight, little cunt.

Within a minute of intimate, moderate sex, exchange of lustful moans adding up to the sea caused earlier and passionate kissing, you start to pummel your whole length into her harder and faster, the pace quickly building up as she can feel it to, moaning uncontrollably as her pussy constricts around your length, gripping hard because of the sudden course of pleasure. You groan in pain on how tight she is but because on how wet she is, it wasn’t an issue to fuck her like an animal.

With your whole shaft going inside her in every thrust you make, you inevitably moan in delight as the serotonin you’re feeling is insane and it just fuels you to protrude your whole length into her without letting her catch a breath. You grip her hips and fuck her relentlessly, your aim is to make her feel good and make her feel the best sex of her whole life as every clash of your bodies makes a dissonance to the symphony of moans the both of you are composing—the oxymoron (contradiction) probably making things spicier and better.

“God—S-Seol-ie! You’re fu—mmph!”

“I want to hear you, Gaeul.”

After burying her head onto the mattress because of how she’s feeling so good, you gained the courage to support herself on getting up so you can hear her profanities once more.

“You’re f-fucking m-me too well—ahh—gosh, you’re treating me l-like a toy and I—gahh—love i-it! Please p-pound my cunt!”

“Don’t w-worry, Gaeul—I’ll give you the best sex session of your whole life and you won’t forget this day until the end of times. God—you’re pussy is so fucking tight and I l-love it. So fucking tight—so fucking ruinable…”

Bringing in pandemonium of thrust, the harmonious moans that once filled the air is now a dissonant maelstrom of groans and of course, moans, as you fuck her like an animal—your animalistic urges taking over you and winning. On how much she’s messing the sheets because of her cunt dripping like a broken faucet, you know that she’s about to cum, her first of the night and want to make it one hell of a first orgasm. So, with all the energy your hips can give, you grip the side of her hips and fucked her until her legs almost give out, giving everything you got as announces her near high, resulting you to quicken the pace up and fucking her harder.

“I’m gonna c-cum, Seol-ie! All over your c-cock—fuck, fuck—I’m cumming!!”

And you slow down and let her ride her high as her pussy constricts around your cock, almost suffocating it as she came harder than you expected, her body quivering as she moans (almost screams) in absolute state of bliss. 

You swear to god, you’re going to be cleaning your bed after the both of you are done.

The both of you were a mess yet you wanna add up more than just a mess as you slowly pick up the pace of your hammering thrusts, earning a silent cry from the blonde-haired girl.

“P-please, Seol-ie—please f-fuck me harder—gahh!”

“Aren’t you still sensitive, baby?”

Concern filled your tone as you wanted to give her some breathing space but it seems like she doesn’t care about your frantic actions on using her pussy at your will.

“J-just please—fuck me hard and f-fast again, please!”

If she insists, who are you to resist? 

It wasn’t even out of the choice, not when your tip is still in her, bringing in a leisurely slow pace as she cries and begs for you to hammer her pussy again. You wanted to chase your own orgasm too so you’re in the same boat with her right now and course, you’ll be the one who’ll do the fucking…

What in the world did you make Gaeul be so cock-drunken? What spell did you cast on her to make her impure?

Those were the questions not even science can answer in the right time, only you can but probably, you’ll never will. Increasing the pace immediately, you pound her like it’s your last but unlike the last time, you now lean onto the nape of her neck, resting your head onto it as you pepper her with kisses that add up the intensity and the passion that has been ignited since the start. It’s like gasoline being thrown to the flames of lust and need as you are definitely fulfilling her needs and there’s just one more step towards the apotheosis of this session.

Suckling onto the porcelain skin of her shoulders while you fuck her, it’s really a sigh to behold and a feeling you can’t help to be involved, truly. You weren’t far off reaching your intense climax as you can feel her core pulsating around your raging length, also signaling her near orgasm too.

“God—I’m fucking close, Gaeul. Where do you want it—”

“Inside me, please.”

“But are you—”

“Please, Wooseol! Let’s cum together.”

The silent mewl of desperation lingers around your ears as she cries in need, in need of your seed being deposited inside her, filling her up to the hilt—right towards her womb. Wanting to savor the last moments before the end of the climax, you pull out of her immediately and commanded her to face you as she does, inserting your length with no time to waste as you look deep in her eyes—those eyes that captivated you, lured you into wanting her, loving her, fucking her—those beatiful, brown eyes—

It felt surreal and your thoughts were just head-empty full of her as you kiss her lips as soon as you feel it breaking loose—and there it is—

You kiss her passionately as you unload everything inside her cunt as the love between the both of you surpass the heavens above and everything—every thick spurt makes her moan in need as her thighs quiver in response, also marking her second orgasm of the session. You didn’t stop kissing her as it became more heated but as soon as your orgasm died, you pulled out of her snug core slowly and so is detaching of your lips onto hers. The both of you exchanged smiles and laughs, both in your own euphoric trance and in the paramount of happiness. Once you pull out, you can see how much you’ve come inside her and creampied her well. She thanked you for that yet the worry settled in knowing that you came inside her and scared if she’s going to be—

“Pregnant? Oh c-come on, Seol-ie—I’m perfectly safe today, that's why I want to feel your seed inside me. Gosh—it feels so warm and thick—ahh, thank you.” Gaeul hugs you and kisses your cheek as a big thank you on fulfilling to live on earlier fantasies now turned into reality. You shared another kiss with her and this time, it’s just slow and delicate, full of love and passion.

“This feels enchanting, Seol-ie. I never felt this good in my life—woah… Oh my~”

“And I’m happy to make you feel that way, Gaeul.”

Another kiss on the forehead for further assurance as all she needs to giggle silently again. 

“Gosh—I t-think we should clean up, together, Seol-ie…”

“If you insist, I’ll help you out—I need to clean up myself too.”

And yes, this night will go down to your own history books and hers too—

---------------------------

It doesn’t just get better than this—opting to clean up in the shower and end up having another intimate session is probably the best way to end this remarkable day. It was going all to well until you saw a notification on her phone while she was away—

“Y-Yujin?”

#ive smut #gaeul #gaeul x male reader #gaeul smut #gaeul fluff #gaeul angst

[i-loveyou013]

Losing interest

Al-Haitham x gn!reader

-> IN WHICH Al-Haitham loses interest in you and you can't stand it anymore.

-> Normal Universe

-> Wordcount: ~1.1k

Masterlist

Request Page

Alhaitham has lost interest in you. You knew that. He never confirmed this theory, but you noticed the hints.

Your lover never came home for dinner for the last few months. He's always late, always so late that even after 11pm he's not home. You spent days in your bed alone, even though you two were sharing it. Not even in the morning he had the time to greet you and say goodbye.

He just left. Without a word.

You two didn't have normal conversations either. When you do see him (which would be considered a miracle) he brushes you off. Saying you could talk later. You never did. You never will. He doesn't have time. He has more important stuff to do (What is more important than the love of your life?).

Through your pain you shrugged it off.

He's just stressed.

He doesn't mean it.

Soon everything will be like before.

It's okay, I'm overreacting.

It never did. Matter how much hope you had. It never got any better.

Even the most hopeless romantics lose hope someday.

"Can we talk? It's important." You try your best to communicate with your lover. You woke up before your usual routine just to have a chance of meeting him.

"Can it wait? I have to go to work." Alhaitham again brushes you off with his (now) usual monotone voice. Like he doesn't pay attention to a word you're saying. Just perceive that you're mentioning something not worth listening to.

"No it cannot-" You couldn't even finish your sentence as your partner has already left the house.

It took everything for you to not scream out of frustration. Instead, tears rolled down your face. Uncontrollable sobs escaped your mouth. You covered your eyes with both of your hands as you fell on your knees. What seemed like hours and hours with no end were probably only a few minutes. What happened?

Were you not enough?

Were you a burden?

Did you annoy him too much?

All these things did not matter anymore. You got a new job offer in Liyue a few months ago. Just as Alhaitham's weird behaviour started. You first hesitated. Why would you leave everything you had?

It took everything in you to finally accept the job offer. A break is what you need right now. A new country, a new area and maybe many new friends.

Who wanted you here in Sumeru anyway? It's not like you had any friends.

It was just you and Alhaitham.

Now it's just you and your pain.

Clearly, Alhaitham didn't want you here, so you being gone for a few months shouldn't hurt, right? You leave in 2 days. That's why you wanted to talk to Alhaitham today, but he seemed... busy.

You lay down on your bed and cried into your pillow. Hours passed and you haven't moved an inch. Not even to go drink or eat something. You just laid there and did nothing, but cry.

For the last 2 days you tried to talk to Alhaitham about your leave.

And for 2 days you failed to talk to Alhaitham about your leave.

It was just like the last months. Not one glance. Not one word. Not one conversation. Just you. Alone. Crying yourself to sleep.

You have packed your items for your trip and your transportation was just a short walk away. You didn't bother trying to tell Alhaitham about it.

He clearly doesn't care.

You closed your eyes. Took a deep breath and stepped out of your shared home.

Goodbye, Sumeru. I will see you in 6 months.

And hello Liyue. My new home for the next 6 months.

Alhaitham sighed in relief.

Finally.

He has been busy with so many different tasks and missions of utmost importance for the past months. As the Acting Grand Sage he had now new responsibilities which didn't make it easy for him. Especially after the whole chaos.

But now he was finished. Now he could spend some quality time with his lover. Oh, how he missed you.

He didn't want to tell you about it. He thought it would bring you unnecessary stress and worry. He didn't want that. He loves you with all his being and seeing you sad or mad makes his heart ache to the point it's unbearable. You, his precious angel.

He knew he had been neglecting you for the last weeks. He missed being near you as well. Your touch, your voice, your delicious cooking. Everything.

He was about to make it up to you with a nice date. He knew one date couldn't compensate for all the wrongs he did the past months. But he planned the best date you could even imagine. He even bought tickets for one of Nilou's shows. They were hard to get but Alhaitham knew you liked her so much and used his position and power as the Acting Grand Sage to get the VIP tickets.

"[Name]?" Alhaitham yelled through the house. "Sweetheart I'm home!" No answer.

The Sage looked confused. It was Saturday, you should be free.

Maybe you were asleep? Yeah, that's probably it. You looked very tired the last few times he saw you.

He quickly checked your bedroom. Empty. Weird. You would tell him if you had appointments or meet-up with friends. But you didn't...

In all his worries he asked Kaveh. His beloved roommate.

"Kaveh?" He knocked on the door. As he got permission to enter he opened the door.

"What?" Said roommate looked at him annoyed. Alhaitham however ignored that. It's nothing new between them.

"Have you seen [Name]? They aren't home and I'm quite worried." He announced his worries.

Kaveh stared at him blankly. "Are you serious?"

Alhaitham blinked in confusion. "... Yes? Have I missed a certain appointment today? Was it important?"

The architect couldn't believe it. Was he serious? You left to Liyue and Alhaitham didn't know? He didn't even notice?

"Alhaitham. You're telling me you didn't notice [Name] leaving about a month ago? A month?! Are you serious?!" Neither of them could believe what they were witnessing.

"W-What? [Name] left? Without telling me?" Why wouldn't you tell him? Have you perhaps forgotten him?

"Without telling you?! Are you hearing yourself? [Name] has been trying for weeks to get your attention, but you were oh so busy with work, that you completely neglected them! They left for Liyue about a month ago because they got a pretty good job offer. They tried to tell you but you were so dense you didn't care. Don't come to me and whine about how they didn't tell you because they tried. You can apologise to them in 5 months when they come back. If they even want to anymore." Kaveh scoffed and closed the door right in front of his face.

You left a month ago?

And he didn't notice?

You will come back in 5 months?

Not proofread.

#alhaitham x reader #alhaitham #genshin impact #angst #reader #genshin #xreader #gender neutral reader #genter neutral #sumeru #kaveh #genshin impact angst