#and i think that if i didn’t have any parenting experience i would also handle things a lot like how phil does | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

secretsandwriting · 11 days

Note

heyyyy ryyyyy <333

since ur requests are open i thought id go ahead and ask if you're mayhaps open to anything for batmom? i don't have a completely solid idea but maybe smn like batmom has been getting threats or maybe hate or smn from somebody and everyone's reactions and how they get hella protective?

obv no pressure and you definitely do not have to write this

hope you have a great day bb

Heyyyyy, so this grew hands and wrote itself, I hope you enjoy it. It did end up with a lot of backstory.

Earned Position

5.3k words

You knew this would happen. Once your relationship with Bruce got out there would be an influx of love and hate. You also knew that everyone else knew that as well. It was common knowledge than anyone around a celebrity of sorts would experience that.

Of course you did the normal things, turned off most notifications and only looked through areas online you knew would mostly be safe. You blocked tags and and only followed people you knew or ones who didn’t post about drama.

When you did stumble onto hate, you moved on. If someone kept sending you nasty messages you blocked them, when they made other accounts to keep sending the same things, you changed your settings so only those you followed could message you.

It wasn’t something you wanted to deal with but it was something you could handle. Something you started mentally preparing yourself for when Bruce’s attention on you lasted more than 4 dates, even more so when you caught yourself daydreaming about him.

You were not going to let random bitter people on the internet destroy your happiness like they did their own. Your family however, wanted to destroy what was left of your haters' happiness. Something you were trying to curb, but trying to tell a family of vigilantes who considered you the best mom in existence not to destroy your haters was like talking to a brick wall. Over the years, you had gotten used to it. It barely even registered anymore. But there had been a recent influx of the hate and while it didn’t bother you, it bothered the rest of your family. None of them could stand people talking bad about their mom.

While you hadn’t been there while the older ones were young, the second you had introduced yourself to them, you had taken a very important role in their lives. None of them realizing it at first. All of them had gotten used to the random women Bruce brought home that it took a little while for them to realize how important you were.

Dick wasn’t sure at first. Thinking you were just another girlfriend that wouldn’t last long. So he didn’t really interact with you much. Ignoring your existence when it wasn’t too rude, or at least obviously rude. Until one night when he was staying at the manor and had a nightmare about his parents death.

Bruce had an open bed policy. As long as there was still room for him, his bed was open. A policy he had started when Dick had gotten old enough he was worried he wouldn’t be allowed to go when he had a nightmare. Bruce had always reminded all his kids, that nightmares don’t go away just because you’re older and that needing comfort wasn’t something they would outgrow.

The thing was, you were there. Girlfriends didn’t mind when children did it but they never liked it when his adult kids did it. The shaking in his hands and the way he saw them fall in the darkness of every blink told him the only way he was getting any sleep was with someone.

Hopefully he could just slip into Bruce’s side and leave before you woke up. That was the plan until he found Damian on Bruce’s side and you had been pulled closer to Bruce taking up what was left. You moved a little and Dick took that as his sign to deal with it himself until he heard you whisper his name. He hummed so you knew it was him and not some random stranger standing over Bruce’s side of the bed.

“Nightmare?”

“Yeah.”

“Come on.” You lifted the blanket next to you, “Bruce told me you guys come here when you have nightmares. There's plenty of room over here for you.” Dick hesitated for a second before giving in. He needed sleep anyway. You weren’t when you said there was plenty of room, Dick had most of your half of the bed. Once he had settled on his side, facing away from you, he felt you pull the blanket over his shoulders.

“Night Dick, sleep well.” For some reason, that was what did it. Once the tears started they didn’t stop. Silent sobs made him shudder and he felt one of your hands gently rubbing his back. “Oh Dick.” There was no pity in your tone and he found himself rolling over and curling into you. Your chin resting on his head while you rubbed his back.

The next day, he followed you around like a puppy. Your side of the bed became his favorite when he had nightmares and it wasn’t long before he turned to you for general comfort over anything.

Jason met you at his grave. Neither of you exchanged words, but he caught something in your gaze he didn’t quite understand. He also wasn’t sure why you were at his grave either, he didn’t know you when he was younger.

When he saw the Gotham News post about Bruce and Your 2nd anniversary, it brought more questions than answers. Why were you at his grave alone? Let alone longer than a few seconds. It was an odd way to gain more of Bruce’s affections.

Every Tuesday you would be there, leaving flowers and talking softly to the stone. Every time you left, you would smile and nod, the look in your eyes he couldn’t figure out was still there. Every time he would strain to heat what you were saying and only be able yo a few words here and there.

6 months into it, the routine changed. You brought a blanket and Basket with your usual flowers. You did what you normally did with the flowers but instead of talking to the stone you waved him over. When he didn’t move, you stopped what you were doing and looked at him.

“Jason Todd, I have been keeping your secret for 6 months. Helping me spread this blanket and having lunch won’t change it.” He stared at you while you waited expectantly. Eventually when he could get himself to move, he came over and helped. He sat down where you motioned for him too, all while trying to figure out how you knew.

“Bruce mentioned this used to be your favorite when you were younger so I asked Alfred to teach me how to make it. I hope it's up to your standards.” He looked at the plate of food you handed him. It was almost overflowing with food, all of which reminded him of the good times back at the manor before he died. “Alfred also sent your favorite cookies when he heard I would be eating at your grave.” The bag of cookies was placed next to the basket, within easy reach.

“Why?” Was all Jason managed to choke out around the lump in his throat.

“I decided early on in life, no matter who I was with, I would love their family as my own. My grandfather hated my grandmothers side and it caused a lot of pain in all the generations. I decided I would never do that to another family.” Jason found himself back in control enough to start eating.

“So when I started dating Bruce and he told me about you, I decided to treat you like you were my own. Even though I had never met you and you were dead. Most of what that meant was keeping your grave clean and always making sure there were fresh flowers. While I did that, I would tell you everything that was going on.”

“How did you know it was me?”

“Your eyes, they may be a different color but they looked too similar. So I did a little digging and found pictures of your biological pictures to place the face shape it matched. I think however you look more like Bruce then either of them.”

“Are you going to tell them?”

“As much as I would love to. It’s your choice. You’ve been keeping this to yourself for a reason. If I can help you get to a place to tell them, I would love to. But I won’t say a word until you're ready. However, I would like to keep having lunch with you.”

A year later, Jason reintroduced himself to the rest of the family a lot calmer than originally planned and was glued to your side anytime he felt overwhelmed that night. Every Tuesday after that, lunch was scheduled.

Tim was nervous when it came to you. He was still living in the manor so he saw you more than the older two. You always seemed nice and respected his privacy but Bruce was always with you so you obviously would.

It was when he wasn’t around that worried Tim. Bruce attracted golddiggers and they were always mean when Bruce wasn’t there. When you were given a copy of the key, Time braced himself.

Of course he knew that if he told Bruce anything that happened like that, Bruce would break it off. He had always told them that they came first. But he also knew that Bruce liked you a lot. All the other ones Bruce liked a lot that turned out to be horrible, he broked it off. Tim had seen how it had made him upset and he really hated doing that to him. Maybe he could deal with it for once.

So when Bruce left for a business trip, Tim was Expecting the worst. What he didn’t expect was for you to knock on his door and ask if you could join him. When he agreed and stepped back so you could come in. He expected you to go to his bed or his desk chair not, the oversized bean bag on the floor.

“I have a question for you but you can’t tell Bruce yet.” Here it comes. “What would a funny way to tell him I know he’s Batman?” Tim wasn’t expecting that one. “I was thinking a lot of batpuns but his paranoia is too bad for that.”

“How did you figure it out?” You walked him through your process and didn’t say anything as he wrote parts of it down. Once you finished explaining the process for Bruce, you explained any way it was modified in figuring out their identities.

“Who do you think I am?”

“Red Robin.” Tim found himself getting excited.

“You know those notes you leave him in his office?” You nodded. “You should leave those in the Batcave.” You considered it but your thinking was interrupted but Tim shouting.

“No! One night when we’re all in the cave, you could bring some snacks!”

“You just want snacks when he’s lecturing you don’t you?”

“Maybe..”

“Alright, but you have to tell the others so they can tell me what snack they want.”

So Tim slowly and carefully went through all his siblings, letting them know you figured it out, Bruce didn’t know, and what the plan is. Every time he relayed a snack to you he’d watch how carefully you’d write it out to make sure you had it correct or look up recipes if you couldn’t find it in stores.

Two weeks later, Tim was the one who sent the signal in the middle of a lecture everyone was receiving and he got a front row seat to see Bruce’s face when you walked in and handed out snacks before giving him a kiss and telling him to be nice and leaving.

Any other worries were left in the dust when you helped him win the nerf war for the best seat in the home theater. He thoroughly enjoyed his spot next to you while Bruce swore revenge from the other side of the room.

Damian treated you politely but that was it. His mother was still alive and he didn’t want another one, one was more than enough. Not only that, but you were weird.

One time when you were over, you found one of his report cards. Immediately you were praising him. He didn’t understand why, he had basically failed one of his classes with an A-. You should be disappointed like his mother would be, not hanging it up on the fridge and telling people not to touch it. Definitely not taking him out for ice cream and calling him so smart. He definitely shouldn’t be feeling any pride when he walked past it, but he still was.

When he was practicing his violin and Messed up, you were supposed to tell him to stop failing, that he should be better. Not smiling at him and telling him he’s making good progress. You should be telling him that he should have memorized that piece in a day. He shouldn’t be feeling any pride when he finally does memorize it, it took him 4 days to learn it.

When he was struggling to learn a language, you were supposed to tell him to work harder. He could do better, after all, he already knew so many. Instead you just smiled and recommended a break to refresh his mind.

When he snapped at you in Arabic, he expected you to be upset since you didn’t know what he said and it was obviously not something nice. Instead you set the rule that if he was going to use Arabic to speak to you when upset, that he had to teach it to you and if what he said wasn’t something you had learned yet, he had to tell you in english. When he told you what it meant, you didn’t even get upset. He definitely shouldn’t be as excited as he was when you actually started learning.

So many more little things piled up, leaving Damian confused. The differences between how you and his mother treated him was so big he didn’t know how to process it, he liked you and all the little things made him happy in a way he hadn’t really felt. But he still loved his mom, When he had enough of it, he asked you to stop. He still wanted to love his mom. Once again, you did something you weren’t supposed to.

“Oh Damian, I’m not trying to replace your mom nor am I trying to make you feel like you can’t love her or she doesn’t love you. Your mom and I show our love in different ways and its ok for you to love or like both of us. You mother loves you and she will always be allowed in your life if thats what you want.” You weren’t supposed to do that, but Damian was really glad you did.

Barbara wasn’t sure how you would react to her. She wasn’t just Bruce’s kid. She had a loving family she went back to every night. Most people weren’t really a fan of that, one of Bruce’s past girlfriends had some strong and hurtful things to say about it.

When you took her for a day out, she found herself warming up to you but still waiting for the other shoe to drop. One of the new places you had planned to go, didn’t have wheelchair access. Like all the other girlfriends who had done this, she expected you to be annoyed that your plans had to change or you would just leave her outside while you shopped.

You didn’t seem to notice her hesitation, just looking at what was next on your list and starting the trip there. When Barbara stared a little longer at a new movie that was in theaters, tickets and snacks were bought and you listed to all the lore she told you about before it started.

While it had been a nice day, Barbara wasn’t convinced. One day was easy to fake. Sure she had lots of fun, but Barbara was used to fakes when it came to Bruce’s girlfriends. Of course she wasn’t complaining about you being nice, she just wasn’t sure how long it would last.

“Did you hear about that boutique?” She looked up from her food to look at her dad. “That new one that you tried to go to with Bruce’s girlfriend? Well there was a report that it didn’t meet the Americans with Disabilities act and the boutique is in trouble. People are speculating they’ll have to close down.”

Later that night, Barbara looked into it. They were in trouble, pretty big trouble from the looks of it. Towards the end of the article she found the name of the person who reported it, she wasn’t sure who she was expecting. Not you for sure but the Name Y/n L/n took her by surprise and filled her chest with feelings she couldn’t describe.

The boutique ended up closing but a new one opened. Once it was open, you were the first to ask her to go. That weird feeling came back when she wheeled herself up the ramp and through the door you held open for her. Later that night, in the privacy of her room. She decided she liked you.

Steph seemed like she liked you, she acted like she liked you, she didn’t really like you. Sure you were nice, Bruce loved you, the others were warming up to you, but she wasn’t sure how to feel about you. So she stuck with not actually liking you but pretending to.

So when she was around you, it was all smiles and jokes. She wasn’t a big fan of it all but she did it because she knew you were important to Bruce and that was enough of a reason for her. She knew Bruce and the others could see through the act but as long as you couldn’t, that was enough.

When Bruce announced he had to leave for a business trip right before she could hand him the parents visit for one of her AP classes, something the new teacher liked doing. She tucked the paper away. When Tim gave her a questioning look, she shook her head and later swore him to silence.

Every time she heard someone mention their parents were going, she felt a pang of jealousy in her chest. Every time Tim mentioned bringing it up to you, she swore him into silence again. It wouldn’t be the first time no one showed up for her. She was however thankful you wouldn’t be at the manor as much so she didn’t have to pretend to like you.

When the day arrived, Steph was not having a good day. School dragged on slowly. Slower than normal. When school finally ended, she had to sit in the classroom and watch everyone else that was in her class leave and the parents of her classmates show up while no one was there or coming for her.

Someone sat in the seat next to her, she expected another family member of one of her classmates. Definitely not you. She couldn’t return your smile, too unsure of how you found out, the fact you actually showed up, and how she felt about you being there. You leaned a little closer so that the others in the room wouldn’t easily overhear.

“I know I’m not your parent and someone you just pretend to like so if you want me to leave I will. But I figured someone was better then no one. Oh, and Tim wanted me to tell you he didn’t spill. Your teacher called the manor because no one had RSVPed for you and I answered it.”

That night, as Steph showed off all her hard work to you, the charade fell. She actually enjoyed her time with you and the boost of pride as you oohed and ahhed over all her projects and listened to her explain all the little details. That night, Steph realized, she didn’t need to keep pretending. She liked you, until she found out you didn’t like her favorite show but a nerf war solved that.

Cass could tell you were different then the other girlfriends, your body language as you interacted with all of them showed it. However that didn’t mean she knew how to interact with you.

She had learned that she was fairly hard for new people to interact with. She also knew she had trouble interacting with people she wasn’t fighting. So it wasn’t a surprise when it started rocky.

What was a surprise, was when you found out she was still having trouble reading and writing, you stepped in to help. Well, that wasn’t the surprising part, a lot of girlfriends did that. The surprising part was the amount of patience you had when it was only the two of you.

When one method didn’t help, you tried another. Never once did you snap at her or call her a name. Everytime you got frustrated you would stop and look at her, say something along the lines of “If I had as much trouble with this as you do, I wouldn’t want to keep trying. You're doing absolutely amazing! I’ll keep looking for other ideas, but for now, lets take a break and get a treat.”

Cass wasn’t sure why that always made her feel better, but it did. Every treat you brought was something you made just for the tutoring sessions and it always reminded her of what Alfred had told her once. “Something made with love for you will always taste better.”

And when a method that made it a little easier to learn was found, Cass found herself smiling along with your cheers. Bad days where she couldn’t seem to make any progress were always met with the same excitement, cheers, patience, and treats that all the others were.

Cass still wasn’t sure of what to think of you exactly, but she knew she liked you and that you cared about her.

So when Tim saw the new rise in hate, a sibling meeting was called. They all went through each site, blood boiling as they saw what people were saying about their new parent. Plans were made, declarations of war were ready, and anger fueled all of them. Bruce could tell something was going on, but he wasn’t sure what it was and as long as it didn’t get out of had, he wasn’t sure if he had the energy to deal with it.

War was declared in an interview by Steph. The lady was asking questions when the topic switched to Bruce, then you. The reporter was clearly trying to subtly find some dirt on you and Steph was not going to stand for it.

“Oh yeah! Y/n! She’s the best!” She put on her best press face. Trying to hide her anger over the hidden intent. She didn’t have to lie or act when talking about you but the change in the lady’s face going to disappointment when she didn’t get anything she wanted was making her look very punchable.

“She’s always showing up for us and making sure we’re doing ok. If Y/n and Bruce were to break up, I think most of us would go with Y/n.” The way the lady kept trying to get anything really got on her nerves and Steph decided she needed to get out of there before she started using the lady’s face for target practice. You wouldn’t like that.

Cass was the first one to resort to violence. They had asked a thinly veiled question, basically asking if you were a golddigger. So she punched him in the nose and leaned down to flip the camera off. She hated interviews already but that made it so much worse. She hoped you wouldn’t be too upset with her punching the guy though.

Jason, surprisingly enough. Did not get violent… physically. He did however curse one out and threaten him when the reporter implied you were forcing them to say nice things. When the reporter kept pressing Jason broke his mic and told him if he ever heard him talking bad about you again, a broken mic would be the last of his worries. Jason knew you would be disappointed but he had held back, he didn’t shoot the guy like he wanted.

Tim threw his coffee at one reporter because he heard them say you were nothing but a regular person who didn’t deserve any attention. He then took over her segment, threatening the company to air it or he would make sure they went bankrupt. Once he finished his threats, anything he said was praising you name. Telling everyone how amazing you were and how much they all loved you.

Barbara made it a point to bring up everything you did for the community when they tried to throw some shade at you in an interview. She had documents to prove it and hacked their systems to add them into the interview so they couldn’t claim it was fake. She also made sure to run over his foot when she left.

Dick punched a reporter when they tried to ask him what you were really like behind closed doors. He told them the truth, that you were just as good, kind, patient, and loving behind closed doors as you were out in public. He didn’t throw a punch until the reporter disregarded that as asked again because she couldn’t be that good. Dick knew a lecture would be coming once you saw, but he would rather sit through a lecture then let anyone tarnish your name.

Damian spent 10 minutes cursing and threatening a reporter in Arabic when they asked him if you had ever hurt him. When he was done, he told them in english, that if he ever got asked that question again, he would impale them. He knew you were going to make him sit down and translate everything and the general response you would give but he didn’t care, no one speaks bad about either of his mothers.

Bruce figured out what was going on after Steph’s interview. He saw the ones where they assaulted or threatened the reporters and made sure his lawyers were on standby to keep the kids out of trouble. After all, he had seen more than they had.

He had watched as you tried to connect with Dick early on, how you worked hard to try and get somewhere. He had woken up before you when Dick had come in that night and heard how you handled it. He had woken up the next morning to find you holding Dick close, like you were trying to protect him from the nightmares. He had seen how you never turned Dick down when he wanted comfort, no matter how serious or silly the matter, and he had heard your excitement when you told him Dick liked you.

Bruce had seen the way you never missed a visit to Jason’s grave, on a visit of his own, he saw how much care you showed the stone marking it as his lost son. While he hadn’t been sure why it was alway the same time on Tuesday, he didn;t mention it. He felt the way you would sob in his arms after each visit, a year after the tradition started, you always said you had promised not to tell and he watched as you kept that promise even if it tore you to pieces. Once the shock and tears wore off for a little bit, he could see the trust that Jason had in you.

He heard the way you questioned if you should have a key to the manor, you didn’t want to make Tim uncomfortable in his own home, or how you questioned if you should visit while he was gone. Not wanting to stress Tim out when there was no reason too. He saw the way you and Tim grinned at each other when you brought snacks down for all the kids he was currently lecturing. He head the excitement in your voice as you told him about the tour Tim had given you of the Batcave and the shared laughter as you and Tim worked together to win the nerf war.

Bruce saw how you worked to give Damian the affection he didn’t think he needed. He felt you crying in his arms upset over the fact Damian thought you would be angry because he made a mistake or struggled in a class. He heard you practicing your Arabic as you got ready for bed and he watched as you stress paced over whether or not you said the right thing to him about his mother.

He saw how angry you had been when you came back from your day out with Barbara. He had heard your call with your lawyer as you tried to figure out what to do. He saw you going through the laws and making a list to make sure your lawyer didn’t miss any. He heard about the movie you didn’t particularly care about and the lore you remembered in case of another because you wanted Barbara to have someone she could tell all of her favorite things too.

Bruce saw the pictures you had taken from the school night. He heard all the details from you as you praised Steph’s work. He saw the way Steph stopped acting around you and the silly arguments the two of you would get into for fun. He heard the way you would listen to her as she verbally worked out her problems. He saw the way Steph looked for you in a crowd, the way she knew you were there but not where you stood exactly, the thought of you not being there never crossed her.

He saw the way you stayed up late, researching different ways to teach reading and writing. He heard the patience and kindness and you worked with Cass. He saw the way you always made a treat just for Cass to have after each lesson because you wanted to reward her hard work. He heard the way you cried for Cass when she had a bad day and got frustrated with herself because you knew she was smart and you wanted her to see it too. He heard your celebrations when Cass made any progress, no matter the size.

Bruce heard, saw, and felt the way you worked hard to have a relationship with his kids. How you had mourned for their losses, celebrated their wins, and felt their pain. He saw the way his kids blossomed under your care, growing to be better and more confident in themselves. The way you cared for them as if they were your own flesh and blood. So when he was asked about his kids behavior, he said as much.

“Y/n has worked hard to be accepted by them. She’s given so much of her time, effort, patience, and love and never wanted anything in return. She always shows up for them, no matter what the occasion is, big or small, it doesn’t matter. If they want her there, she’ll be there. Everytime they need or want her, she’s there. She never judges them and treats them as if they were her own blood. Of course their upset and lashing out, people are insulting the woman who has cared for them more then most of their biological mothers.”

Later, a clip of you scolding Bruce and all the kids went viral. While you were scolding them over their behavior and making the kids who had reacted with violence or threats write apology letters because asking mean questions does not make it right to respond badly especially when its someone just trying to start drama. Everyone one noticed that there was no actual bite to your tone and no anger when they all refused to stop acting like that. In fact, there was a small soft smile on your face as you shook your head at your family.

#dc #jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #fem reader #batman x reader #bruce wayne x reader #Damian wayne #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #barbara gordon #batfamily x reader #batmom reader #batmom #request #cipheress-to-k-pop

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piratefishmama · 8 months

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Fake it till you make it | Part 11

“Be careful, Eddie” were Wayne’s words as he hugged his nephew goodbye, knowing he wouldn’t see him for a whole week and honestly still being a little worried about it “if you think even for one minute that something’s off, just… just get out of there, alright?”

“I know, I know, I’ll bolt through the woods and hitchhike my way home, I know the way, Wayne, I got this.” He could read a compass, he’d be able to get a map from any gas station and head home, he was resourceful, an adult, he could handle himself.

“Damn right you got this, son. But… be careful in other ways too, alright? Steve’s a charmin boy, but… remember this ain’t real.” Eddie had bitten his bottom lip at that one, brows furrowed in thought, those big brown eyes of his swirling in emotion, he never did hide his feelings well, it’d always be a little real for him. “Protect this” Wayne poked his chest with a gentle prod, right over Eddie’s heart “okay?”

“Mhm, I will…” he’d try to anyway. Steve really was… charming. An his kisses? God his kisses… but also... it really was the closest he’d ever been to what romance ought to be, what a relationship ought to be, he never thought he’d have that.

The world didn’t appear to be moving fast enough for him to truly experience romance as most people did.

He had to remember that he didn’t have that.

“Eddie! C’mon you’re in the back with me!” Steve called from the garage door, behind which the car was rumbling, their bags packed into the back, Steve’s parents already inside, ready to go. The longest Eddie had ever been away from Wayne since arriving in Hawkins, was three days during a weekend trip to Indy with the band to play at a slightly bigger venue than the Hideout as a one off.

A favour for his favourite gay bar when a live act they’d scheduled pulled out last minute. It hadn’t gotten them a lot of exposure, but it’d been a fun and enlightening night for the band.

“Best get on, son, I’ll see you in a week. Call when you can alright? Don’t care if you wake me up or about no damn time zones, just call, I’ll answer, an if I don’t, you know the plant’s number.” Tight lipped, strained smile, Eddie nodded quickly then turned on his heel and graced Steve with a brilliant smile, game on.

“I don’t wish to alarm anyone, but... did we miss a turning?” Eddie may have been unusually quiet for the first leg of their journey, nerves having hit him like a truck the second they pulled out of Loch Nora, but he was paying attention to his surroundings.

And those surroundings, were all too quickly, Fort Wayne International Airport.

“You don’t honestly expect rich people to drive the whole way to Canada do you?” Steve’s voice was amused and came from so very close to his ear that he actually jumped, quickly turning in his seat, back plastered against his side of the back seat, eyes wide as he took in and processed what Steve said. “Plus, what would you rather do, spend nearly two days in a car with my parents—”

“We’d make wonderful road trip companions, don’t be rude Steven” came his mother’s interruption

Steve ignored it in favour of continuing his point “—orr… around ten hours in one of those with a brief stop off in Chicago.” Steve leaned inward, uncaring of personal space as he pointed to a plane, ascending into the heavens from the runway.

“I don’t—” he didn’t know. He’d never been on a plane before. Trips like that, across country, they were the stuff of road trip legend, but Steve had a point…

Two whole days of a trip stuck in a car. Or just ten hours. Eddie’s eyes skipped to the window again, to the plane now disappearing beyond the overcast cloud cover.

“It’ll be okay, Eds, I’ll sit right next to you the whole time, you’ll be okay.”

“What if we crash? What if it falls out of the sky? What’ll you do?”

“My best to keep you safe.” It was so earnest, coupled with Steve gently taking his hands and giving them a squeeze, eyes so full of raw honesty, of understanding, it hit Eddie directly in all his soft gooey bits. “I’ll hold your hand through the whole ten hours if you want.”

“Even during the stop in Chicago?”

“Hah, yeah baby, even during the stop in Chicago.”

“They’re a lot more openminded in Chicago too!” Lynda spoke up without turning her head, allowing Eddie to not get stuck on baby for too long “might get a few looks from people passing through the airport but nobody will say anything, and if they do, they deal with us.”

“If we had enough time during the stop we’d have taken a trip around the city, let you boys see some of the sights we’ve seen, but alas, our connection gives us an hour at most depending on everything being on time, and that’s just enough time to get us from one gate to the next.” John added as he pulled into the long stay parking lot. “Maybe some other time, some other family trip, eh Eddie?”

Eddie’s wide eyes turned to the front of the car, then back to Steve again, lips parted ever so slightly in surprise. Not surprise over the words used, but the feeling those words caused. Family trip. They were including him on future family trips.

Steve’s eyes quickly snapped from him to the front of the car and back again, then a warm smile blossomed on his lips. He lifted his hand and ever so carefully brushed a stray curl back behind Eddie’s ear, and asked so softly as his thumb lowered to brush along his jawline. “Right, Eddie?”

“Y-yeah… yeah I’d… I’d love that.” He turned his head fully toward the drivers seat, he’d never been too good at hiding his emotions, so maybe he was just a little choked up when he accepted the offer “I’d really love that.”

“Great!” The car came to a stop in one of the many parking bays, ignition off, driver side door opened “It’s settled then.” Settled. Eddie would privately mourn the knowledge that it’d never come to fruition, but… on the surface he could pretend he was excited for a future trip for the sake of the ruse. “Now boys if you could get the bigger bags out the trunk that’d be a big help! This back of mine isn’t as sturdy as it used to be.”

“You’re forty-six and go jogging almost every morning, don’t be stupid John.” Lynda whapped her husband with her handbag in gentle, semi-amused admonishment before getting out of the car.

Followed by her husband who, in a hushed tone replied with “don’t tell them that, Lynda, save us the work.” Leaving the two boys to breathe soft laughs between themselves before they too joined the older couple out in the parking lot.

“Steve...” Eddie hissed as they neared check-in.

“What?”

“I have weed” said through his teeth.

“What?” Steve paused.

“I have weed… I have weed in my suitcase.”

“You have what?!” Steve rounded on him, sentence ended with a pointed hiss

“I didn’t know we’d be flying to Canada, Steve, maybe you should tell people when you’re planning on launching them into the troposphere in a death tube!”

“Why would you bring weed on a holiday with my parents, Eddie?!”

“SHHHH, be quiet. I thought I might need it to chill out if I was freaking out at some point during the week like right now, I could really do with it right now.”

“Oh my god.”

“Steven? Is something wrong?” Lynda’s voice had them both snapping to attention, eyes wide, caught in the act. Luckily she had no idea what that ‘act’ was.

“Nope! No, uh, Eddie’s just gotta… use the bathroom real quick.”

“Well, there’s bathrooms in the business class lounge he can—"

“No! It’s uhm, it’s urgent, can’t wait, he’s uh…”

“Nerves, it’s uh, it’s nerves, I think imma hurl” she looked between them with a small frown on her face, assessing them both, it seemed like whatever she found wasn’t worth arguing about though, because she waved them off with a quick flick of her wrist.

“Alright fine, hurry up. Steven you know where the closest ones are go on now quickly before we’re late for check in, we’ll double check everything here.” John was already pausing to check through all their documents like a regular airport dad, it was the third time he’d done it since entering the airport.

“Alright let’s go, Eds, lets deal with your little problem.” At least he was soft-handed when he manhandled Eddie to the nearest bathroom, patchy suitcase with a squeaky wheel wobbling away behind them. Once inside, he checked each stall individually, before quickly turning on a wide eyed Eddie. “Where is it?” Eddie pointed down at the suitcase, and Steve snapped to action, lifting, and placing Eddie’s suitcase down on the slightly damp row of sinks. “Did you pack any liquid soaps?”

“Uhhh…” Eddie was too busy staring at the flex of Steve’s arms as he just. Lifted that whole very packed suitcase in one hoist. Fuck.

“Any shampoo? Conditioner?”

“I—I feel like my answer is going to make you mad so I’m just not going to answer.” Which on its own, was a pretty damning answer, and Steve’s expression told him as such “I don’t have a twelve step hair care routine like you do, Steve! I just… I have drug store shampoo and conditioner and that’s really only when it’s on a two for one sale! Usually I just—"

“If you say you water it down to make it last longer I’m going to throw the first thing I find in this suitcase at you.”

“Shutting up. I just thought I’d buy it there if I needed it, or just borrow yours, I know you brought some, right?”

“Yes.”

“Well then, I figured that… if I borrowed yours it’d make it seem like I just… wanted… to smell like you?”

“You just made that up.” Eddie just smiled, all teeth and dimples, scrunching his shoulders inwards in an unfairly cute display of mischief. “You’re a menace, Munson. Get your stuff out of there for me. Don’t ever put weed in checked luggage.”

“But—”

“TSA does random checks on checked luggage all the time, an while they’re not usually looking for weed, it’ll get launched and you might get fined. Whereas you can hide weed in just about anything in a carry on, just shows up as vague blurred shit on the x-ray scanners. Just be cool when you shove it through.” Steve was rummaging in the front of his own bag now, “be cool, and act natural.”

“You sound like you’ve done this before.”

“Mn once or twice, Tommy was a dick, but his cousin worked for the TSA for a few years, gave us all kinds’a neat tricks to get things through the airport.” Tommy’s cousin had gotten fired and a year inside for attempting to smuggle narcotics out of the confiscated items lock up, but that was neither here nor there. “Gimmie what you have.” Hand outstretched, Steve waited until Eddie placed the single baggie containing three roll ups and a few loose buds “Christ Eddie.”

“I knew I’d be nervous! Stop being mean to me!” Steve rolled his eyes before taking the three roll ups out of the baggie

“Your smokes, give em.” Plenty of room in the pack to slot the three roll ups, and as for the buds, Steve emptied out his travel sized bottle of hand lotion into the sink and stuffed the whole plastic bag into the little bottle, then screwed the lid on tight. Nobody would look twice at a rich kids hand lotion. “Now wet the ends of your hair.”

“What?”

“Your hair butthead! Wet it, we told my mother you’d be in here hurling your guts up, so… you got some in your hair, it’s a good extra to add to the ruse, now do it.”

“So my own boyfriend wouldn’t even hold my hair back if I threw up? Where’s the romance, where’s the commitment, where’s the care and—”

“Dude you have a lot of hair, I doubt I could get it all in my hand at once.” Although now that thought was in his head… could he? Could he get a good fistful and hold it there? Not important. “I’d drop bits.” A flimsy argument, he wouldn’t drop anything.

“Uh-huh, sure you would, big boy.” Eddie quickly dampened the tips of his hair, and ran a wet hand through his bangs quickly in a bid to fake flop sweat, theatrics over and done with. “Zipper-up, let’s get this show on the road, shall we?”

Part 13

#PirateWrites #FakeItTillYouMakeItFiclet #Steddie #No Upside Down AU #Fake Dating AU #lmao this was getting long so i'm splitting it up

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letterstotheflre · 1 year

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𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐈𝐕𝐘 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐒 (𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐈’𝐌 𝐂𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔) || 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐘𝐋 𝐃𝐈𝐗𝐎𝐍

summary: it's his fault. daryl knows that. he should've realised sooner that he knew exactly what those mushroom's would do to you once you ate them.

cw: 18+ only. dark fic [ft. sex pollen, dubcon, mentions of previous noncon drugging (on daryl), outdoor sex, grinding, fingering, squirting]

a/n: soo here is my first big daryl fic! honestly, this might be my favourite fic i’ve ever written :3 it was very fun to write and somehow i really liked writing daryl dialogue/inner monologue (his accent is just so fun lol). once again, this was supposed to be a very feral smut fest and ended up having a lot of emotional moments and inner daryl turmoil </3 i still hope you like it :)) || also very unrelated side note, but i think “gold rush” by taylor fits the daryl in this fic v much (it’d be from his pov, not yours)

“Where d’ya think we should go next?” You ask Daryl around a mouthful of the lone rabbit he hunted earlier this afternoon.

Finding food is getting harder and harder, not to mention you’re running out of your water supply. It’s obvious you need to move your camp to a better area, preferably somewhere near a lake or river. The question is, where is that exactly?

Daryl shrugs, turning the rabbit leg between his dirty fingers around. He takes a rough bite.

He doesn’t know, and to be honest, he doesn’t really care. Now that the prison fell and with the group scattered to the winds, he doesn’t have much hope for anything. He had gotten a little too comfortable there, his first mistake, and now look where it landed him. Had he learnt nothing from his first camp with Merle, then the camp in Atlanta, then the CDC, and finally the farm? He had enough experience under his belt to know that things always took a turn for the worse, especially when everything seemed safe and peaceful. Yet he still let his guard down.

The thing is, the prison… the prison was different. It was well protected, with several feet of fence that kept the walkers far from the main building. They didn’t have to worry about any walkers creeping into their cells and taking a bite out of them in the middle of the night since they were able to clear their side of the prison in a matter of days. They had guns and ammo, food and water. Hershel and Carol even taught them how to take care of crops. Hell, they even got their hands on some cattle! They didn’t need to scavenge the woods for some meagre squirrels any more.

Things were looking up. He had even started to think that maybe, just maybe, they could spend the rest of their lives there. But then the Governor showed up and everything went to shit.

So now here he is. No Rick, no Carol. Alone once again. Well, not exactly alone– he had you for company.

It’s not that he doesn’t like you– he likes you more than just a normal amount if he’s being honest with himself. It’s just that… you’re a dead girl walking. He doesn’t know how you’ve made it this far, and by all accounts you shouldn’t have. Before all this, before the virus and the walking dead, you were a preschool teacher. You had lived in the city your entire life, in a nice house located in a nice neighbourhood with nice parents. If he had to bet, he’d say you were even prom queen back in the day.

There had been no need for you to learn how to hunt, scavenge, track, shoot a gun or even handle a knife. Daryl had been the one to teach you how to shoot a gun in the air, volunteering immediately when Rick brought the subject up and completely ignoring the amused, knowing smile on his friend’s face.

If he focuses hard enough, he can still hear the sound of your happy laughter the first time you hit the center of the target. Can still feel your chest pressed to his in your celebratory hug.

“Think I saw some train tracks a couple miles east yesterday. If the others saw ‘em too, they’re probably following them thinkin’ we’re doing the same,” you ramble on, not letting his lack of answer deter you. “Maybe we could find Rick or Maggie.” You lean forward so you can reach the mushrooms you picked up today, plop one and then another inside your awaiting mouth.

Daryl watches as you chew, eyes judging. He had been adamant that you shouldn’t eat them, shouldn’t even touch them.

“Stupid girl,” he growled, swatting your hand away from the cluster growing on the bark of a tree. “Didn’t ya mom tell ya not to touch things you never seen before?”

“Ain’t stupid,” you bristled at his tone. “I know these, they used to grow ‘rond some plants in the garden back home. Pretty sure mom put them in our soup ev’ry now and then.”

You don’t let his lack of answer deter you. “Think I saw some train tracks a

Daryl kneeled beside you, broad right shoulder touching your left one, and examined them closely. He was sure he had never seen them before, not in the woods from his hometown nor in any of his hunting trips since the outbreak started. “Nah, these ain’t safe,” he concluded.

“Yes, they are.”

“No”, he enunciated the word to make it as clear as possible. “They ain’t.”

“Yes, they are,” you scowl and plush a couple from their roots. “I ain’t stupid nor useless. I know I can eat these.”

Daryl rolled his eyes. “If ya want to kill y’self just to prove a point then fine, be my fuckin’ guest,” he snarked. Then he got up and kept walking in silence, not even sparing you another glance.

He shakes his head firmly. “Nah, no train tracks.”

“What? Why?” You ask, surprised. “It’s our best shot at findin’ the others!”

“Ain’t no one to find, girl. S’better if ya stop kiddin’ yourself.”

“How could you say that?!” You look at him like he’s a monster. Daryl clenches his jaw. “They’re our friends, our family! We can’t just give ‘em up for dead as soon as things go south! Not after everything!”

Daryl throws away the bone in his hand and looks at you with fury. Don’t you get it? Merle, Sophia, Andrea, Lori, T-Dog, Dale, the list goes on and on. You’re the only one he knows for sure he has left and he’ll be damned if he has to add your name to the list too because you want to search for ghosts. You are his responsibility now. His voice is loud when he says, “Yeah, we should! ‘Cause if you saw those tracks y’know what it means? Means other people saw ‘em too. Bad people. And if ya go ‘round there, lighting fires and singin’ those stupid kid songs you sing all day like you’re in a fuckin’ musical or some shit y’know what they’re gonna do? They’re gon’ kill ya, or worse. So drop the fuckin’ topic and finish yer dinner.”

There really is no room for argument. You drop your gaze to the floor and gulp down the lump in your throat, bringing your knees to your chest. Everything is silent for at least an hour, the only sounds coming from the crackling fire and Daryl’s chewing.

And then you call his name.

“Daryl?” Your voice is different; breathier, quieter. Almost like you can barely string the letters together. “I don’t feel very well.”

He’s on his feet in a second, the argument forgotten as soon as he heard your mumbled call. In three quick steps he’s standing in front of you. He kneels so you’re the same height and cups the side of your face. “Wha’s wrong?”

You blink sluggishly, revealing your dilated pupils, and lick your lips. “I don’t know,” you slur. Your breathing gets heavier. “I think– Oh God, I’m so hot,” you complain, almost ripping the zipper of your jacket in your haste to take it off. You throw it away like it’s made of molten lava. Before he can stop you, you take off your long sleeved shirt, leaving you in just a tank top, and lean back against the fallen tree trunk with a relieved sigh.

It doesn’t make any sense, Daryl thinks. It’s almost winter in Georgia, you should be freezing, but there are no goosebumps littering your skin that might signal you are cold in any way. In fact, you’re even trying to roll your cargo pants up to relieve your legs from a nonexistent blistering heat.

Daryl presses his hand to your forehead and is surprised to find it slick with sweat. “Y’re burning up,” he says, though he guesses you could probably already tell. He takes one of your arms and inspects it closely, looking for any wounds that could potentially be infected. “Where ya bit?”

You shake your head. “No, no. I didn’t see any walkers today.”

Your arms are in pristine condition, save for some sparse moles and freckles and a single healed scratch on your forearm he remembers you got from running around the woods so carelessly. There’s no sign of a bite or infected cut.

“Did ya get close to anyone sick back at the prison?” He knows it’s stupid to ask– everyone had taken their rounds of antibiotics to prevent another possible outbreak, and it’s also been a week since the prison fell. If you had been infected, you would’ve showed symptoms earlier on, but he doesn’t know what else to do.

“No, I was with Beth ‘n Judy.” Suddenly, you gasp in pain and clutch your lower stomach, pressing your thighs together. “Daryl, it hurts,” you whimper.

The pain in your voice breaks his heart. You look so small, curled up in a tight ball like a wounded animal. He brings you into his lap and shushes you, “I know, I know.” He rubs your back in an attempt to soothe you. “Just lemme think for a second, ‘kay? M’gonna fix ya.”

He wrecks his brain for a solution but keeps coming up blank. He doesn’t have any idea as to what the hell caused this– one second you were fine and then the other you were bending over in pain. Did you touch something? Eat something? Was the water contaminated? Did some poisonous plant graze your skin? Was the rabbit he killed infected and he didn’t notice?

The tip of your nose tickles his neck as it moves from his collarbone up to his jaw, your rib cage expanding beneath his broad hand when you take a deep breath. He grunts at the strange sensation. “What are y’doin’, girl?”

Your hands curl around his shoulders, the leather of his vest crinkling beneath your tight grip. “You smell so good,” you mewl, taking in another whiff of his scent.

What the fuck.

He doesn’t know where the random compliment came from. He knows you have to be lying though– it’s been weeks since his last shower. His last one was five days before the prison fell and it wasn’t even a proper shower, just a scrub down with a rag, a bucket of water and some soap they found in the last supply run. That’s why he says, albeit a little disheartened, “Y’re talking nonsense.”

You shift in his lap, pressing your chests together and Daryl has to force himself not to react to the feeling of your boobs against his chest or to the movement of your wiggling hips over his crotch. “Am not, am not,” you babble, pressing small wet kisses to his neck and trailing your palms down his strong arm. “You– you smell so good. Feel so good. So big. I–” your breath hitches when you grind against him, relief morphing your previously pained features. “I need you, Daryl.”

His hands that were previously laying limp on either side of him are suddenly held by your softer, smaller ones and moved to your thighs. He drops his gaze, watches you control his hands. Up and down, up and down. The light coming from the fire illuminates the remnants of your dinner. You shift directions and now his hands are on your ass, forcing him to squeeze and grope as you keep grinding against him.

He stares intently at the leftover mushrooms and all of a sudden he’s 23 years old and Merle’s laughing his ass off as Daryl finishes the dinner his older brother had insisted on cooking. He remembers now, the desperation clawing at his chest when the shrooms started making effect. Remembers how Merle dragged him to a club in the city and patted his back in encouragement. “Go wild, baby brother! Lord knows ya need this.”

Misery is heavy on his shoulders. He wants to throw up– he was wrong before. He did see those mushrooms before. He had eaten them and been under their control. And now you were suffering the same fate he had all those years ago. Because of him, because he failed to realise sooner.

You move his hands up to your waist, your stomach, your breasts. He never wanted it to be like this. He had hoped, stupid as it was to dream about something other than mere survival, that if he ever got the courage to confess his feelings it’d be when everyone was safe again. When you didn’t have to sleep in tents and cars and pray to God he found any semblance of food. When you’d finally have a house, or a room, or at least a bed.

He’d be soft with you, just like you were with him every day.

Now, as you grind and moan above him in a lust filled rut, that dream will remain that. Just a dream.

He tears his hands from your grip, one settling on one side of your hip and the other cradling your cheek. Heat emanates from your skin like you’re a furnace. Daryl leans forward, lips brushing yours as he promises, “M’gonna make it better. That okay?”

You’re not in the right state of mind but he still asks for any semblance of peace of mind.

“Please,” you whimper, little crystal beads gathering on your waterline.

After months of pining, he finally closes the distance between you and presses your lips together in a firm kiss. Your mouth is soft and plain against his, trusting him enough to follow his every command as he devours you completely. He uses the hand on your hip to help you smooth down your otherwise stuttered grinding, drinking down every sweet little moan and gasp he elicits out of you.

That’s what you are– sweet. Sweet to touch and taste and feel. Sweet even in the way you cling to him, use him to relieve the affliction between your legs he accidentally caused.

Daryl holds you by the back of your neck, feels the warmth of your breath as you moan his name. “More. I need more,” you cry. The tear tracks on your cheeks glimmer in the warm fire light. “M’so empty. Need you to fuck me. Please, please, please,” you beg like a broken record, forcing your fist into Daryl’s chest and twisting his heartstrings without mercy.

“Don’t cry, doll face,” he rasps, brushing away your fresh wave of tears. You inhale shakily, leaning into his touch and nuzzling his palm like a touch starved kitten. Your hands tremble as you unbutton your jeans, struggling to pull them down from how sweaty you are and how sticky the insides of your thighs became. Daryl silences you every whine with a kiss and helps you pull them down to your shins, not willing to risk taking off both your shoes and pants completely in case you need to make a quick escape.

“I said I’s gonna fix ya and I am. Just need a couple minutes first.” You make another noise of complaint that turns into a relieved sigh when Daryl pulls your panties to the side and teases your folds with the tip of his fingers. “Need to get ya ready first. This all for me?” He asks, gathering all the slick dripping out of you.

“Mhm,” you hum, eyes closed in bliss as he toys with you. You nudge your noses together. “Always for you, Daryl. Only you.”

You really need to stop playing with his feelings like that. You’re talking out of your ass, he tells himself, letting your desire and need for relief control your words. Still, it’s nice to hear. He can’t deny that. Maybe he can live in this fantasy bubble a little longer, at least until reality crashes down on you both and you have to come to terms with what happened and decide to never see him again.

He circles your weeping hole, taunting you, then plunges a lone finger inside when you look like you’re ready to pounce on him. It’s easy, oh so easy, for him to slip in. He thought it would be harder, given the fact that he knew you haven’t slept with anyone since the apocalypse started. Not that he kept an eye on you or anything, he just happened to notice how your tent and cell were always silent, much like his. But you’re so wet that your cunt practically swallowed him right in.

You tap his shoulder needily, mouthing the word “more”, and bite your lip to stay quiet when he adds a second finger and then a third. You could cry from how happy you are right now.

“That enough for ya, ya spoiled girl?” He scoffs, rubbing circles on your swollen clit with his thumb.

You can only nod as he buries his fingers up to his knuckles, curling them and feeling the rough calluses as he prods inside you in search of your soft spot. When your loudest moan yet lets him know he found it, he abuses it, creating loud squelching noises that have him smiling.

Euphoria sends a shiver down your spine and makes your entire body shake as you cum, a small stream of clear liquid hitting Daryl’s wrist and dripping down to his jeans. “Shit,” he whispers, amazed.

He made you squirt.

Daryl’s still staring at his dripping wrist as you paw at him with a heaving chest, fingers curling around his brown plaid shirt. Your nails could nearly break the fabric. “You promised,” you sob. “You promised you’d fix it. That you’d fuck me. Don’t you want me?”

He tears his gaze away from the mess between your legs in shock. How could you ever think he doesn’t want you? When you’ve consumed his every waking thought and haunted his every dream. When the only thing he wanted to do when you looked at him with those glimmering eyes was to follow your every command word for word. When he didn’t want to just fuck you– he wanted to keep you safe and warm, wanted to make sure you’d never know hunger.

He grabs your jaw, fingers tightly pressing on your warm cheeks, and snarls. “Don’t ever think I don’t want ya.” He tugs you to him so he can kiss you, unbuckling his belt with one hand and pulling down the zipper of his jeans. Your own hand joins his and squirms under the rough fabric so you can take his cock out from behind his boxers. His jaw clenches at the feeling of your soft hand around him, so different from his own. Untouched by decades of manual work, protected by dutiful applications of hand creams (he's heard you tell Beth how dry your hands are now and how much you miss your favourite hand cream. He’s been looking for some on every supply run ever since).

He spreads all the wetness stuck to his fingers over his cock, his stomach doing a summersault when he sees you biting your lower lip in want. You guide him to your entrance, gasping in unison when the mushroom tip slips past your soaking wet folds. Slowly, you sink yourself down, Daryl mouthing at your neck as you get used to the thickness of his cock as it threatens to split you in half.

“Relax,” Daryl grunts, the scruff covering his cheeks scratching at the tender skin of your cleavage. He goes back to playing with your clit, knowing it’ll allow the tension to leave your muscles and he’ll be able to push in the remaining two inches.

Once he’s buried to the hilt, you take a shuddering breath in and slowly start to bounce. “Wanted this for so long,” you babble. “Wanted you, Daryl. A-And now you want me,” you smile, increasing the speed of your bouncing. You chant, “You want me, you want me, you want me.”

Daryl nods, teeth gritted as he feels you tighten around him, walls pulsing. You collapse on his chest, hips still grinding in search of any form of friction. With a firm and secure grip, he grabs your ass and uses it as leverage so he can pound you down on him. For once, he’s not worried about loud noises or stray walkers or even unknown strangers stumbling into the scene. No, he just worries about you and your sweet cunt keeping his cock warm; about your lips on his neck, your hands gripping his hair and your dulcet “uh uh uh’s” ringing in his ears as you cum for the second time.

He lifts you off of him just in time to shoot ropes of white all over his shirt, biting your neck to muffle his grunts of pleasure. For once in what seems like a lifetime, the walker infested woods are completely still, only both of your laboured breathing breaking the unusual silence.

Until you speak in a meek voice and it’s like he’s suddenly doused in cold water. “Daryl?”

He drops his forehead to your clavicle and shuts his eyes tightly, heaving a sigh. This is it– the moment where he loses you, where you run away. Forever disgusted with him. Afraid of him for breaking your trust.

After another beat of silence, you call his name again. “What happened?”

He straightens his back and rubs his face. He clears his throat. “It was the mushrooms,” he refuses to look at you as he explains the events of the night, unable to stomach the look of disgust he’s sure is all over your pretty face. “The ones you picked up today. I thought I didn’t know them but I did. They’re some kind of… aphrodisiac or some shit like that. Merle…” he trails off, skipping over the reason he knew about them in the first place. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. “Y’were feeling so sick ‘n those things… with the amount you ate they would’ve– they would’ve killed ya if I didn’t…”

“You saved me,” you state, cradling his face so that he can see you. His face is all scrunched up like he wants to cry and he hates himself for it– he has no right to feel like shit. He shakes his head. “You did. You saved me. I would’ve died if you didn’t do as I said, as I wanted you to.” You kiss his lips chastely. “Y’know, I meant what I said earlier. While we were…”

“Nah,” he scoffs. “Y’were just saying shit ‘cause of the drugs. S’okay, ya don’t have to worry ‘bout my feelings.”

“No,” you frown, disconcerted that he always seems to bring himself down without even realising it. “I meant it. I’ve wanted you for a while, since– since the CDC, actually. When we played that card game after dinner and ya helped me get to bed since I was too drunk to even stand.” You smile as you remember the feeling of his arm around your waist and the soft pat on your head once you were resting on the pillow. You tuck some strands of hair behind his ear and his throat dries. Shrugging, you say, “I just never thought you liked me that way.”

Daryl weighs his options, wonders if he should take a leap of faith or pretend he’s never thought of you that way. This is too much for him. He’s scared to bare his chest wide open only for you to dislike what’s inside. But then he sees the earnest look in your eye and behind it, the fear that he won’t say anything at all.

“I do,” he gets out through the fist clutching his vocal chords. “Like you. Like that, I mean. I–” He shuts his eyes at how useless he’s with words (another reason why you deserve someone better than him). However, instead of rolling your eyes at him or making a derisive sound like he expected, you simply giggle at his uselessness, reaching for him once more.

He lets you kiss him and touch him as much as you want. You trace his brow bone and cheekbones with the soft pads of your fingers, play with the ends of matted hair and twirl them around your index. When you yawn, he makes sure you have your top and jacket back on and lets you rest on his chest. He stretches his arm so he can reach his discarded crossbow and leaves it on his side. “C’mon, go to sleep. I’ll take first watch.”

pls reblog if u enjoyed it, it’ll make me twirl my hair and kick my feet :3

#daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon smut #the walking dead imagine #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead #daryl dixon

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ellana-ravenwood · 1 year

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“I HATE YOU !” - Batfam/Batkids x fem!reader/Batmom

Synopsis : Not everything is always made of sunshines and rainbows. Sometimes, things go wrong. Sometimes, your children lash out at you, and scream : “I hate you !” before storming off...A story about how you handle those burst of anger from each of your kids, over the span of a few years.

Please, do not repost my stories anywhere else, under any other form. Do not translate and then repost them either. Thank you.

My masterlists : @ella-ravenwood-archives

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DICK

"I HATE YOU !!”

He screams, running off and closing the door behind him violently.

BANG !!

You’re not sure that “bang” is the sound of the door slamming, or your heart breaking.

This was the first time your child said something so hurtful to you. And it was quite a shock. You weren’t sure how to react.

As if moved by instinct, Bruce immediately moved next to you, and put an arm around your shoulder, as if to shield you from the hurt. It was only a little bit comforting...

When he was younger, Dick struggled greatly with his anger. He had trouble managing it, and it’s only after a big fight with Bruce, and some times apart, that he truly started to understand himself, and become the man he was now.

The reason he left with the Titans, and then later, left for Bludhaven...was his mismanaged anger. And it was also yours and Bruce’s fault. You were still new parents, you were still learning, you didn’t always have the best reactions.

Bruce would react with anger too, which he knew now was the worst thing he could do. But to his defense (and you would always defend him), he was also just processing his trauma, and trying to navigate how to “tackle” his son’s own traumatic experience. He wasn’t sure how to act, with that kid.

He was too strict, he expected too much, because he wanted Dick to NOT reiterate his own mistakes. He wanted his boy to feel better, to be able to be happy...something he thought he could never be again, before meeting you.

It took a very long time for Bruce, to get out of this dark pit he buried himself in. He didn’t want Dick to take the same path. He wanted him to NOT be a second “Batman”. He wanted him to be his own man.

Which lead to a lot of mistakes. But hey, you couldn’t be a perfect parent all the time. And let’s admit it, Dick wasn’t always easy to handle. Especially during his fits of anger, which he sometimes had when he was young, and which slowly disappeared during his teenage years (although even today, if you truly managed to make him angry, he could get quite scary...Ah, but like father like son).

You didn’t even remember why he told you “I hate you”, it was all a blur now, years later. But you remember how you felt.

Heartbroken, like you failed as a parent. As if you weren’t enough for that little boy, who had lost everything and was “forced” to become part of your family.

That simple “I hate you” had triggered so many questions in yours and Bruce’s mind. How could you react ? Not like he gave you the time to, as he left the room right away.

What was the right reaction ? What if he did truly hate you ? What could you do to salvage this relationship ? What-

You were both so lost.

You would do many more mistakes as parents, but that day-

That day, things got resolved on their own, as Dick came back a few moments later, with an apologetic look on his face.

It was clear he wanted to pretend nothing had happened. Yet, that child had already a lot more emotional intelligence than most, and instead of ignoring everything, he just said :

“You know I love you, right ?”

And that was the end of it. And a first step to understand an important, and key thing about raising a child : sometimes, they WILL lash out at you. And say they hate you. But they never truly mean it. It’s just a way of processing an overwhelming amount of negative emotions. A way to protect themselves.

“I hate you.”, often comes from the opposite feeling. They love you so much, but they’re angry, and they think of the first thing that could hurt you and-

Dick never said it again after that. In fact, it was almost a biggest traumatic experience to him, than it was to you. Because he hated feeling this ugly things, and he hated hurting others, especially not those he loved. “I hate you”, were words he never meant towards anyone. He felt so bad, about telling them to you and Bruce, who took him in as your own child.

But beyond that, what made him entirely stop even thinking about saying that again. Beyond that, he never said it again, even when he fought with his dad, because he knew. He never crossed that limit again, because he knew. Him most of everyone, knew. Life was so short, and what if the last thing he told you or Bruce was : “I hate you ?”

He could never forgive himself. And for him too, this was an important step. One step closer, to controlling his anger, to understand himself, to let himself feel, and explain his feelings.

Yes. This first “I hate you”, was an important moment for all of you. Parents, and child. A first stone set upon a building, that would grow each year. A first experience showing that not everything could be perfect, and that mistakes would be made.

But as long as you were there for each others, and as long as you knew that no matter what, you would always love one another...You’d pull through the hardest times.

JASON

Talking about the hardest of times.

Jason was a good kid. He never once told you he hated you, before his death. On the contrary. The boy never shied away from expressing his feelings.

He would outright tell you and Bruce, that he loved you. He would show you by countless kind acts towards you two, that he was the happiest he’s ever been, since you adopted him.

Finally. Finally he felt safe and loved. Finally he had an actual family, people who cared about him...Why would he tell them that he hated them ?

No. Never would it have come to Jason’s mind to use those words towards you.

Oh, oh but after his death ? After his traumatic resurrection ? After he came back to Gotham City, only to find out you not only “replaced” him (his feelings towards Tim at first were...complicated), but you also never killed that hateful clown ??

Jason hated you. He hated you so much.

But it was because he loved you. He always worshipped you and his dad, viewed you as those perfect beings who saved him from a life of misery. This was probably “his” first mistake...Nobody was perfect.

But in Jason’s eyes, his mom and dad were. You and Bruce.

And so when he came back, and neither of you avenged his death, he felt so hurt that-

“I hate you.”

Those words, he said them a lot. In total contrast of him before the “incident”, before it all went to sh-.

“I hope you know I hate you. So much. I wish I had never met you.”

He wasn’t “half-assing” it, Dick would say. No. He definitely went “full ass” on you and Bruce, not hesitating for a second to express his high level of anger towards you two.

And the worst ? Neither of you were mad at him for it, on the contrary. His words summed up years of your life. Years of you two hating yourselves for not being able to save your son, and not having the guts to go through with it concerning “The Joker”.

You didn’t even think about defending yourselves. You understood how hurt he was. You-You deserved his anger. You deserved his hate.

Ah, but Jason never really truly hated you. Deep down, his harsh words were born from feeling hurt and rejected.

You two were the only persons who ever made Jason feel safe. When he came back, and saw you “moved on”, that you weren’t mourning him anymore (which wasn’t true, it might’ve appeared like that for the sake of Dick and Tim, but neither you nor Bruce could ever heal from one of your children’s death, the wound would always bleed), and that you didn’t take revenge-

He felt like it had all been fake. Like you never loved him. Like you lied to him, all those times you called him your son, or when you told him you loved him, and that he meant so much to you.

Jason hated you, because he thought you never loved him. How ironic, right ?

Thinking back to it, maybe you should’ve been more obvious with your feelings. Tell him since the first day you realized he came back, that you loved him, and that living without him was torture.

That losing him was unbearable, and that you and Bruce almost broke for good (but had to be strong for the rest of the family).

Maybe, you should’ve told him everything right away. And not let his anger fester. Not let him say more and more “I hate you”s. Maybe...

Ah, but it was easy, to look back at an event and think : “what if ?”.

Unfortunately, it didn’t go that way. You were so shocked by Jason’s anger towards you, and thought so much you deserved it, that you didn’t immediately tell him how you truly felt.

And it took all of you so much time, to finally talk. To finally understand each other. To finally forgive. Jason, to forgive you. You and Bruce, to forgive yourselves.

So much wasted time...

Jason would always regret how he told you many times he hated you. Because it was never true. What he wanted to hear, in answer to those words, was : “I love you.”...He just didn’t know how to process all his emotions.

And you would always regret that it took you so damn long to finally chase after your son, and make sure he knew you loved him. Make sure he knew he meant everything to you.

It wasn’t a work you did alone. Thanks god for Alfred, Dick, and even Tim.

And thanks god for Jason’s strength, for how he was able to forgive, even as he-

Yes. This would be a great source of regret for all of you. Maybe that was why, nowadays, Jason would NEVER shy away (once more) to say “I love you mom”, and why you made sure you told him, and showed him your love, every chance you got...

TIM

Even the most loving, sweetest kids, sometimes say hurtful things.

Tim was one of those adorable children, who always wanted to help, whom you could always count on, but who would hide away his feelings too much for his own good, and would eventually break.

“When coming from a child in whom there is generally a love-based relationship, ‘I hate you’ is a normal part of emotional and psychological development”, said a psychotherapist to you once (mental health issues were given a very important place, in the Wayne’s household...None of you ever felt ashamed of needing a little professional help at times).

You experienced it with Dick and Jason. You knew it would eventually happen with Tim. Especially since he could be a little emotionally stunted at times.

Tim wanted SO MUCH to help, and to save everyone, and to be there for the one he loved...he would often burry his own feelings, and pretend everything was ok. And sometimes, like a volcano, he would explose.

Like today. But you were expecting it.

It hadn’t been long since, unfortunately, Conner passed away.

Conner Kent was an important person for your family. You always adored the kid (and he was the source of the very few fights you had with Clark, as you hated how he initially treated the boy). But he was probably the most important to your Tim.

Although he never admitted it by then, you were pretty sure your son was in love with Superboy. That they weren’t only the best of friends. And you were pretty sure Conner shared his feelings...

But now, now they could never truly talk about it.

Because Conner was gone. And he wasn’t coming back (A/N : yeah you know, comics, so we know he’ll eventually come back, but for the drama of it all, it seemed at the time that he wasn’t going to).

It was hard for your son to process that. He became even more obsessed with his “work”, skipping school to spend all his time on his vigilante cases.

And that day, he had skipped school once too many, and you and Bruce decided you would ground him. Forbid him, for a little while, to go out as Red Robin. And-

And that probably wasn’t your best idea. Probably wasn’t how you should’ve handled that at the time. Punishing him wasn’t the way to go, you knew that now. Oh, but it was easy, when you had the few steps back years later, to realize your mistake. On the moment though, it seemed like the only thing to do to save your son from dying out of exhaustion.

His reaction was both expected, and unexpected.

You knew he would snap at some point. You just didn’t expect him to snap because he was grounded...

“I HATE YOU !!” He screamed, truly angry, throwing a book across the room.

But you knew. You knew he didn’t hate you. He was hurt, and sad, and he didn’t know how to handle all his emotions.

He didn’t hate you, he hated himself.

He hated himself for not being able to save his friend. To save the man he loved. To-

Tim always made it his mission, to save everyone. Especially those close to his heart. And so this, was a failure he had a hard time handling.

It translated in that “I hate you” he threw your way.

But you knew. You knew how he felt.

“Well, it’s too bad, because I love you.”

You answered, and you could see he was taken aback by this. You could see he was struggling with himself, and wasn’t sure what to say.

“I love you, Tim. I love you so much.”

Tears. Welling up on the corner of his eyes. And then it was another kind of volcano erupting...

All sign of anger disappeared, as he collapsed in your arms, and finally-

Finally let himself mourn the death of his best friend, and first love.

DAMIAN

It happened not long after your youngest boy came into your life.

Damian had disappointed his dad. He knew it. He had killed a man, because he thought it was the only way to stop him from hurting his family.

It came from a good intention. He wanted to stop someone from arming his loved ones. He wanted to permanently make sure that person wouldn’t come back one day, and kill his dad, his siblings, or you (he hadn’t yet came to call you “mom”, but it would come soon).

It came from good intentions.

He wanted to protect. And the only way he was taught how to do that, while in the League of Shadows, was to kill. Because, what was more permanent than death ? What would assure your safety, but to kill the danger ?

But your son knew. He knew he wasn’t supposed to do that anymore. He knew his father expected him to do better. He knew...Yet he hadn’t been able to control himself. And he was feeling really bad about it.

Of course, Bruce would forgive him. Would not give up on him. But still, Damian disappointed him. He disappointed you. Or so he thought, at least.

He was feeling so bad about himself...And here it came.

Instead of expressing his feelings about all of that, instead of putting into words, or in drawing form for example (his go-to way to express himself), he lashed out.

And unfortunately, you were in his way. He turned his negative feelings towards you, but you weren’t about to let him run with it.

Damian wasn’t your first child. You had dealt with the “I hate you” phrase before, hell you even had to go through the very painful “You’re not my REAL mom” one (you can read this in that story : “You’re not my real mom”)...You more or less knew how to handle it now.

An immediate emotional response would only make it worst. And so, as Damian yells :

“I HATE YOU !!” at you, after you tried to talk to him about what he did (you wanted to comfort him, he took it the wrong way...which could happen with anyone), you took a deep breath.

You stayed silent for a few seconds. And then you looked at him right in the eyes, and said :

“No, I’m sorry. You may not speak this way to me. Let’s try to calm down first and then get to the bottom of what is going on. I can tell you are feeling very stressed, angry, overwhelmed. I can imagine a lot is going on and it’s making you feel such strong emotions inside, emotions of 'hate.' You probably feel you hate everything, all the things you need to do and all the stuff 'we' make you do. It’s hard. I know. Let’s talk about it.”

Damian was stunned. He did not expect this response. He thought you would hate him in return, or be mad at him.

“Hating me or using those words to express your anger is not going to help you fix how you’re feeling. It may make you feel 'good' in the moment of saying it, but not later. You will likely feel regret, feel sorry, feel bad. That doesn’t feel good. So, no saying that. But let’s talk about all the stress you feel. Let’s talk about your feelings, Damian. Please. Tell me what’s wrong, and how we can fix it."

Damian wasn’t used to this. He wasn’t.

He had never been taught to accept failure. Nobody ever told him it was ok to not feel well. Nobody- Nobody ever expressed understanding towards him.

He felt his throat choking up. He felt tears coming to his eyes. He felt-

He turned away from you, still use to hide those feelings. Still used to not show any sign of weakness. He turned away- But you delicately caught his chin in your hand, and turned his face back to you.

And in your eyes...In your eyes, he could see that you wouldn’t give up on him. That you wouldn’t turn away, even as he made mistakes. That you were here for him. That you-

That day, you received from him a hug. The very first hug he ever gave you. And of course, you answered it by wrapping him in your own arms.

And Damian felt safe. Wanted. Loved. And he heard himself spill everything to you. He heard himself talk to you about his worries, about how he hated himself, about-

Everything.

He told you everything. And most of all, he told you that of course, he didn’t hate you. He could never hate you.

CASS

Cass wanted to hurt you. She was so angry, frustrated and upset, that her next few words were specifically aimed at hurting your feelings :

“I hate you.”

She says flatly, yet in a very definite tone. She knows what she’s doing, and she knows she’ll most likely regret it later. But right now, blinded by rage, she says those dreadful words anyway.

Unfortunately for Cass, by now, you knew that when one of your children lashed out at you in that way, they didn’t truly mean it. You and Alfred came to an analogy, for when your kids would suddenly want to hurt you with their words :

They were like a tea kettle.

In that way, that when the water's boiling, the kettle sings, and is too hot to handle. It takes time for the water to get back to room temperature. Right ? Well, when their water was too hot, they simply couldn’t think clearly anymore, as they entered fight or flight mode. Which is why they reflexively use the hate word, to "protect" themselves from their vulnerable feelings.

Right now, Cass’ water was way too hot, for reasons that honestly wouldn’t matter anymore in a few hours. And so she said : “I hate you.”

Step by step. A deep breath. A small silence. And then you say :

"No, you don’t hate me. But I know that at times we don’t see eye to eye or it feels I am in your way or that I don’t understand. You’re right, I don’t always understand, but I want to. Sometimes, I am in your way, simply because I am still raising you. It’s OK if you don’t always agree with me. My job is not for us to agree on everything but to hopefully provide you with what you need for a few more years until you’ll take care of yourself all on your own."

This seems to fuel her rage even more. How dare you be understanding, while she’s trying to hurt you ? How dare you answer her bile with kind words ?

"I get that you’re angry but hate is not the way to label that or express that. I want us to be able to discuss our differences and even teach each other things. I also want to hear what you have to say. So, no more saying, 'I hate you’, regardless of how angry, frustrated, or stressed you feel. From now on, you will just tell me about your feelings and I will listen. Alright ?'

Not alright. At least for her, in that moment. Instead of talking, she glares at you, turn around, and leaves, slamming the door behind her, with all her might. Too angry to listen, or to talk. And you know what ? It was ok.

It was ok, if things weren’t immediately resolved in the moment. You had learned that, over the years. It was ok, if right now, she was not willing to talk it out. To explain. To release her anger. She just needed time. And that was ok.

And so you let her storm off, and waited.

You didn’t have to wait for very long. A few hours later, she came back to you. Looking ashamed, and sad.

Ah, but you made sure she had nothing to feel ashamed off. It was ok to be angry, it was ok to not know how to handle one’s own emotions. It was a good learning process, wasn’t it ?

“Sorry.”

She told you, and what else was there to do, but to take her into your arms ?

DUKE

“I hate you..”

Duke whispers, and although you know he doesn’t mean it, your heart still squeeze in that very uncomfortable way...

But you understood. You understood.

You and Bruce just signed official papers to make him your son, as his parents weren’t getting any better, and it was clearer and clearer they would never heal from what the Joker did to them.

But Duke still had hope. He still thought they could be saved. And he held onto that hope, even as he slowly settled in his life at Wayne Manor. Even as, despite himself, he slowly started to see you and Bruce as his second parents.

And here you were, sighing adoption papers, making it official that his parents would never be the same ever again.

To him, you were representing his shattered hopes. He had truly lost his parents...

Of course, he would “hate” you in that moment. Of course. But by then, you were used to your children not being well, and lashing out their negative feelings at you. So you start by saying :

"There is a lot going in your life and I can understand how sometimes you just want nothing to do with any of it, and that-”

“DON’T ACT AS IF YOU UNDERSTAND !”

He does not let you finish, and his whispers turn into screams. He feels so angry, so lost, so desperate. His last hope of having his parents again is gone, and you’re trying to comfort him ??

Proof that, even after decades of being a parent, you don’t always have the right words, or you don’t always do the right thing to soothe your child.

You take a step back, a deep breath, and-

You don’t say anything. This wasn’t the “I hate you” screamed because you told him “no” about something. This was the “I hate you” born from utter desperation and sadness. He still didn’t mean it. But he needed to say it.

So you let him.

You feel Bruce’s hand on your back, as per usual, your husband is always near for you. You’re stronger, together. He’s your rock, you’re his pillar.

Together, you can face this. You can go through it because you know you have support. You know he’s going to be there for you, and you for him. It makes things so much easier, to know there’s at least one constant in your life...

You don’t say anything, and you let Duke tell you a few more times that he hates you. You let him leave the court, and run off on his own. You’re worried, of course, but you know-

You know he needs the time alone. You know he needs to process things, alone. You know he’ll come back to you, once he’ll feel ready.

And so for now, you and Bruce wait. His arms around you, yours holding him. Comforting each other with your mere presence. His fingers massaging your scalp, your hands running soothing circles on his back.

You’re not alone for this. You’re parents, together. And you’ll figure that out, together. Worst things come to worst...There’s always Alfred, to run to for advices, right ?

But you got this. You got it.

And Duke does too. Right now, he needs to be angry. But he’ll come around. And he’ll realize that truly...He’s not actually alone in this.

_________________________________________________

A short bonus story, as I only managed to write this today (feeling a bit under the weather). I hope you liked it nonetheless ! As per usual, comments/reblogs always greatly appreciated, motivating, and welcomed <3. Thank you in advance, and see you soon with a longer, more fleshed out story.

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jasonsknight3 · 8 days

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I was asked by @eva-sparda20 what my thoughts were on Arkham verse Jason and his parents. Here’s the story and the rant. I think most Jason variants have the same story for the most part. I also know in the original story his mother wasn’t actually Cathrine but was Sheila, I honestly don’t roll with that sorry line. I like the newer version where his mother is Cathrine. Besides, the original had been somewhat rewritten and is different from the original. That’s all! Enjoy, and just know there are dark themes. Sad ones. Be prepared.

⚠️Warning!⚠️ mention of drugs, abuse, sexual acts, and death.

AKJ’s father and mother are no different than the other Jason Todd variants. A selfish mother, deadbeat dad who may or may not have tried to make ends meet but was too drunk or drugged out like his wife Cathrine. AK Jason’s dad who is Willis Todd was abusive, abused his wife, abused Jason without discrimination. At some point in Jason’s life his dad started sleeping elsewhere. Going to the next best thing. Wherever he felt like going. Keeping the bed warm for another woman. Before that Jason’s dad did try to take care of Cathrine the best he could. However it’s hard to have a drunk man try to take care of a drugged out woman. He grew tired of trying, frustrated, he wasn’t in love with this woman anymore, it was a pain, an inconvenience. The abuse started shortly after giving up when Jason was around 3 almost four. Willis left when Jason was 6.

As for Jason’s mother, she was barely conscious. She was a good girl who got caught and fell in love with the wrong crowd. Once she got caught up with Jason’s dad and it was all downhill from there. Once addicted to drugs she couldn’t quit. No one stopped her, there was no voice of reason, she probably would have been outcast from her upstanding family. During the beginning of Cathrine and Willis’ relationship Cathrine got pregnant. She was mindful enough to not do any drugs during this time. At least not a lot of drugs. It’s still a miracle that Jason was born with any sort of disability mentally or physically.

During the first few months she took care of infant Jason, breastfeeding, sang him to sleep, all of the things. She was clean for a little bit but when Jason was about 2 she gave in to the itch that had always been in the back of her mind. The need that she felt ever since she stopped. Willis was more than happy to provide too so that didn’t help in the slightest. That’s when the cycle started to a point where it would never stop, wake up, shoot or snort a drug, and drift. The abuse she insured didn't really matter to her, she didn't feel it anyway. When she would “wake up” from the high she would see the bruises, the swollen parts and a beat up Jason. She couldn’t handle the failure. That fact that her parents were right. She’d become nothing. A failure. What’s better to do to forget them to do more drugs? Worked so far.

Jason started taking care of his mom when he was almost 4. When she was somewhat conscious he gave her water or beer, whatever was accessible. He learned to never let her have milk when drugged out. That was…a traumatic experience in itself. A bad mix. There was hardly any food in the house, just some crackers and some food that was in the freezer for a long time. He saw his mom use the microwave once so he knew what to do. He’d cook frozen food the best he could. Sometimes Cathrine would complain that the food was still cold through groans and have formed sentences. When his mother was completely passed out though he’d try to give her water, most of it didn’t really make it far, just pooled in her mouth and slipped down the sides of her lips. A miracle she didn’t choke.

When his father was around he was on high alert. The fights, when his mom was somewhat awake and alive having animated arguments and fights with Willis. Jason would hide under the table just waiting for it to be over. If Cathrine was passed out the narrative changes. His mother is defenseless. Vulnerable. So he stepped in protecting her the best he could. Most of the time it just ended with him flat out on the floor next to his mother hurting and sobbing. Sometimes as far as bleeding.when Jason’s dad started not coming home anymore he took care of his mom full time. Feeding her, sometimes helping her bath and wash up. That mostly included just a cold wet cloth and scrubbing. She still smelled most of the time.

The times she was awake she’d leave, usually to get her fix. Most of the time she came home with stringers. Jason witnessed all sorts of disgustingly sexual acts. Heard the most obscene words. Name calling, hair pulling, licking, fevered kisses, naked skin, and sounds that kept him up at night. Things a little boy who is only 6 shouldn’t see or be exposed to. Eventually he came to understand that those visitors were being paid with her body for drugs. He started stealing and dumpster diving for himself and his mom. Jason was light on his feet and hadn’t been caught by the cops. Not at all. He’d been jumped before though for food by some other street dweller. That was an awful time. He practically crawled his way home.

By the age of 8 Jason’s mom stop rousing so much, she stopped mindless babbling about things Jason didn’t understand and one day…she stopped moving all together. Her lips and fingers are blue from the lack of blood flow. Slight built up frothing at the mouth. A scary sight for Jason. He’d clean away the froth and try to warm her up. He tried to give her water but that wasn’t going to wake her. Not this time. No amount of pinching, shoving, or patting woke her up. He even punched her as hard as he could but she didn’t wake. He bawled because he felt guilt for hitting her hard. Reminded him of his dad. He’d apologize to her crying. “ ‘m sorry, I-i didn't mean ta hit ya hard.” The next few days he tried to wake her up but nothing. She was gone. Sadly there was no time to process, he had to fend for himself now, to try and survive. Part of him hoped she’d just wake up. He checks from time to time every time Jason comes back home. He stole, bargained, and ran the street. Smarter than any kid his age without an education.

One night he saw something, a sleek looking car that had a bat on it. A symbol. He had heard of Batman, but had never seen him though. Pretty stupid of him to leave such a nice car unattended. He would look around and when he saw the cost was clear he’d take a heavy four way wrench and start to work on stealing one of the tire plates. A shadow casted a darkness over him. Someone looming over him. Gripping the tool in his little hands he whipped around to swing at the individual only for it to be ripped from his hands. Batman was terrifying but Jason wouldn’t let him know he was afraid. A slew of colorful curse words and creative threats spewed from his mouth. Threats he knew he couldn’t really keep but he wanted to get this Batman to understand he wanted a pushover or easy to take down. The Batman analyzed him, looking him over quietly for a moment before the odd sound of laughing. Jason should have ran but he didn’t. He stayed. He was confused. Batman smiled and said “hungry?” Jason would causouly accept. That night he’d eat more burgers than he’d ever had in his whole life. Fries and a drink. He ate like the starved child he was. That was where his life started as Robin. The snowball that brought him to who he is now. The Redhood. The vigilante of the streets. The man who used to be the Arkham knight. The man who is playing Batman’s game but with his own rules.

Side notes: Jason’s life never really had a pause. He still kept on going in life and didn’t get a chance to heal or even pause and think things over. His own feeling came out when fighting criminals. Batman’s mistake was not giving Jason time and therapy before throwing him in the world of Robin. He didn’t get to think about the loss of his mother or father. His mind was so focused and overworked on education (which he excelled in) being Robin, detective work, being Bruce’s son, he never got time to pause and heal.

Jason’s mother was found by the neighbors of the apartment they lived in after she started stinking. An unfortunate end.

Arkhamverse redhood does sometimes think about his parents. Sure it’s sad but he can’t necessarily find it in himself to feel sad. There wasn’t a connection there and there was an emptiness there. He also has so much more trauma on top of his parents. The joker, Batman, all the other things.

Currently he’s trying to heal. He’s had some time nowadays to settle. He’s had a few mental breakdowns. He’s so out of sorts. Full on crying, heaving breaths, all of it. Over everything, there is so much pain there isn’t a distinction. He’s trying to go to therapy and figure it all out but it’s hard. Therapy is great but no amount of therapy could change his mistrust, jumpy moments, nightmares, and PTSD. Sure it could suppress them but they always come back. Especially with his kind of trauma.

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lyranova · 1 year

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Hi guys! So this is my first Fire Force Oneshot in well over a year, I apologize for that. I’m still not 100% back into my old fandoms yet, but I’m getting there! I’ve been working on this oneshot off and on for about…a year think 😅. So I hope you all enjoy and I apologize if it’s a bit OOC. Also this oneshot is based off THESE headcanons 🥰!

Word Count: 1,749

Warnings: None

———

“ I’m not doing it.”

“ Please Beni, it’s only for a couple of hours. Please!”

“ No, I’m not doing-.” Beni started as he suddenly watched his wife grab her bag and walk towards the door.

“ Thanks dear! I’ll see you two in a few hours!” She shouted over her shoulder before she walked out of the house, Benimaru was suddenly left standing there, in the doorway, with his mouth partially open in disbelief.

Earlier this morning his wife had asked him to watch their daughter, Natsuki, while she went to the market for a few hours. Of course he refused, not because he didn’t want to spend time with his daughter, but because he had never spent time alone with her. Even though Benimaru looked calm on the outside, on the inside he was almost uncharacteristically nervous!

He looked over at his daughter, who looked right back at him with an almost curious gaze. She was probably wondering why her mother was leaving her with someone with little experience. He almost chuckled at the thought, if he were Natsuki he wouldn’t trust him either.

Benimaru walked over to her, picked her up out of her highchair, and gently held her in his arms.

“ Alright, looks like it’s just you and me today, kid.” He told her with a sigh, he looked down and saw what appeared to be a look of skepticism on his daughter's face. “ What? It’ll be fine.” He added with a shrug, but just in case things happened to go awry, he walked over to his house phone and decided to give Konro a call.

When Konro answered he knew exactly what this call was going to be about. Beni’s wife had informed him a few hours ago that she would be leaving the two alone and that he wasn’t allowed to help Beni unless it was an emergency.

“ I’m not coming to help you if that’s what this call is about.” Konro said with a small chuckle, he heard Beni make a weird noise as he had been caught.

“ I need your help Konro. I-, Natsuki stop squirming, I-, please Natsuki I don’t want to drop you!” Benimaru muttered as he wrestled the squirming child, Konro chuckled again as he listened to the father argue with his daughter.

“ Beni, you don’t need my help, you don’t even need your wife’s help with this.” Konro said as Benimaru scoffed on the other end of the line.

“ Of all the people in Asakusa I didn’t expect you to be the one to lie to me Konro.” He muttered, of course Konro had told small white lies in the past, but not blatant ones like this.

“ I’m not lying. I don’t think you realize how good you are with Natsuki. Wasn’t it you who was the first person to tell what her different cries meant? And not to mention you’re pretty much a pro when it comes to feeding her.” He pointed out.

“ Those things were just luck.” Benimaru muttered, Konro sighed.

“ If that were true do you really think your wife would have left you two alone, and for hours at that?” Konro asked, they both knew he had a point, if Beni’s wife really thought he wouldn’t be able to handle it she would have asked Konro to go over there, or she just would have taken Natsuki with her.

“ You…have a point.” Benimaru muttered, he glared slightly as the older man chuckled.

“ Listen Beni, you can do this. I know you’re nervous since this is something different and something you have very little experience in, but do you really think you’re the first and only parent who's ever felt like this when they were left alone with their kid for the first time? I bet if you ask any parent in Asakusa they’d tell you what I just did.” Konro could just see Benimaru looking away and rubbing his neck nervously. Konro chuckled, he probably knew Beni better than Beni knew himself.

“ You’ll be alright, besides, it’s only for a couple of hours right? You can do this.” Konro reassured him, and Beni just sighed.

“ Fine…but if something goes wrong, then I’m going to tell my wife it was all your fault because you didn’t help me.” Beni told him, to which Konro chuckled in response.

“ Alright, that sounds pretty fair to me.”

The men hung up and Benimaru looked at the now settled baby in his arms and gave her a slightly strained smile. He could do this, it wasn’t like he was fighting a hundred infernal’s right? He could do this.

At least that’s what he thought.

Things started off great after Benimaru had gotten off the phone with Konro, he and Natsuki had lunch and he had hoped that maybe she would try to take a nap.

But that didn’t happen.

Actually the complete opposite happened, instead of getting tired like he thought she would, she got a burst of energy. She began to crawl around and reach for things even though he would try to stop her, she accidentally knocked things over and broke them, and at one point had somehow locked herself in Benimaru and his wife’s closet! Benimaru sighed as he finally found Natsuki just sitting on the floor of the closet, playing in her parents clothes.

“ Natsuki, you’ve been crawling around for nearly an hour. Aren’t you tired yet?” Benimaru asked as he picked his daughter up and held her in his arms, she suddenly giggled and tried to squirm around in his arms which told him that no, she wasn’t tired yet.

“ Captain! Captain!” Benimaru suddenly heard someone shout as they went running through his house, the dark haired man turned and looked, it was one of his brigade members.

“ What’s going on?” Benimaru asked as Natsuki finally stopped squirming and looked at the man who was trying to catch his breath.

“ Captain, there’s two Infernal’s in the marketplace! I think it’s the old fisherman and his wife!” The man said quickly after he caught his breath, Benimaru nodded seriously before following the young man out of his house.

Benimaru knew he couldn’t bring his daughter with him as he went to take care of the Infernals, but as he looked at the younger members of his brigade, he didn’t trust them with his daughter. They were slightly nervous, sweat was collecting on their brows and their hands were trembling slightly.

“ Beni! Have you heard about the Infernals already?” Konro asked as he ran up to the younger man, Benimaru suddenly turned and handed Natsuki off to Konro.

“ I did and I’ll take care of it. While you take care of Natsuki.” He told him quickly before following behind the younger members of the brigade towards the market.

“ W-Wait Beni! Beni!” Konro shouted after his younger friend, but sighed as he was ignored. He looked down at Natsuki with a small smile. “ Looks like it’ll be just us for a bit huh?”

———

After Benimaru and his brigade took care of the Infrenals they began to rebuild what they had destroyed during the conflict. Benimaru had wanted to stay and help out, but his brigade members insisted he go home and be with Natsuki, that they could handle it and he could help out tomorrow.

Benimaru eventually gave in and slowly began to walk back to his home. It always took a toll on him whenever he had to put down an Infernal, especially when it was someone he saw on a regular basis such as the fisherman and his wife. He hoped that there would come a day where he would no longer have to do this, that he and his friends and family could all just live in peace without the worry of Infernals and Spontaneous Human Combustion.

As Benimaru finally made it to his home he was pulled out of his thoughts by a near whining noise, and as he looked up he saw Natsuki struggling against Konro’s grip.

“ Are you alright?” Konro asked as he stood up and walked over to his young friend. Benimaru reached out and took his daughter from him and held her tightly in his arms, which she reciprocated.

“ No. But I will be.” Benimaru muttered as his daughter wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, he almost wanted to laugh, it was as though she knew he needed a hug.

As he and Konro parted ways and Benimaru walked into his house with his daughter in his arms, he silently hoped that the day of peace would come sooner rather than later. For his daughter’s sake at least.

Another hour passed before his wife came home, she quietly announced herself before slipping her shoes off at the door. She silently walked into the house and saw her husband and daughter sitting together on the floor. Benimaru was holding Natsuki gently in his arms as he read her a story, and the two laughed at one of the passages he just finished reading.

“ You two look like you’ve had a productive day.” His wife said softly as she entered the living room, Benimaru smiled softly at his wife.

“ Yeah, it started out pretty rough, but we finally found our footing.” He told her as he glanced down at his daughter, who began to rest her head against his chest tiredly.

“ I heard about the Infernals…are you okay?” His wife asked as she crouched down beside him and gently moved some of his dark hair out of his face. She knew that he probably wouldn’t be okay for a long time, he always took these things harder than he would ever let anyone know.

“ I’m…I’m getting there, Natsuki’s been a big help.” Benimaru admitted quietly as the young girl in question closed her eyes and began to drift off into sleep.

“ I’m glad she was able to help,” His wife kissed the top of his head before reaching out towards Natsuki. “ Here I’ll take her to bed.”

As his wife reached out towards their daughter Benimaru moved her away and shook his head.

“ No, I'll take her to bed.”

“ But-.”

“ I’ll do it. Just sit down and relax, I’ll be right back.” Benimaru insisted as he stood up and carried their daughter towards her room as his wife watched them walk away with a fond smile on her face.

The two seemed to have bonded even more while she was away, which is exactly what she had hoped for.

———

Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you have a good day 🥰!

#fire force #enn enn no shouboutai #fire force fanfiction #fire force x reader #benimaru shinmon #shinmon benimaru #benimaru x reader #shinmon benimaru x reader #enn enn no shouboutai fanfiction #fire force benimaru #benimaru fire force

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zhongrin · 2 years

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Actually how would Zhongli react to us being pregnant? I just reread that post you just reblogged about his heats and well.

I rarely see follow up on this.

Like I would be terrified to find that I got pregnant. Like kinks aside, that's a real thing living in you now. And zhongli doesn't have any children, so how would he know how pregnancy goes? Is mortal body even capable of handling a god's child?

He can morph, so I guess it is possible to him to impregnate someone (or get impregnated, since he can shapeshift, but i think he still could be biologically male, but idk, he a dragon, so logic doesn't really apply that much) like human and not having to do it with a reptile.

Would we produce a baby dragon or like a hybrid when it was being born? Or just looking human?

Ganyu has horns but is human, so I guess it would be possible to give birth to human baby, but with a tail and scales ig?

I'm just trying to break down a fictional character parental planning, help

slfjsldksl luke we share one braincell bc i have some ideas about this in the draft but that one’s gonna delve deeper into his protective draconic nature so have this for now hehehe

(also, this post about gow!reader kinda touches pregnancy too, and i feel that some points applies for normal reader)

tags: minors dni, afab!reader, pregnancy, kids, (in one small section) monsterfucking, implied ovipos

if the baby was an adeptus or a half-dragon, i feel like he’ll be able to sense it. as in, one day as he’s cuddling with you, he would just suddenly stare and caress your stomach in wonder, a slight frown between his brows, before he suggests for you to go for a medical checkup out of nowhere.

the moment he gets a confirmation that yes, there’s life growing inside you, i think he would be a little shaken - but he wouldn't show it outright, especially if he can see that you're freaking out from the revelation. he would reassure you, cradling your trembling form against his and stroking your back as he murmurs softly about how you'll be okay and he'll be there with you all the way. when you're way calmer and seem rational enough, he would ask you what you want to do. and if you tell him that you want to become the child's parents with him? that's when the happiness really hits him. he'd place a sweet kiss on your lips, nuzzle into the crook of your neck, and literally starts purring.

he might not have any experience being a father and a husband with a pregnant wife, but i believe he has watched many who have gone through the experience, or he would at least know a lot of people whom he can ask about it. and this is zhongli we’re talking about, so he will 100% do his own research aside from preparing everything with you.

your devoted husband might have read about the hormonal changes that will inevitably hit you, but it still surprises him sometimes; the way you swing between moods and you showing him the sides he didn’t even know existed. he’d massage your swollen feet and your tense shoulders. he’d hold you as you cry because your wedding band can’t fit your finger anymore and assures you that it’s normal for that to happen... and if by the end of your pregnancy it still doesn’t fit, he tells you he can always enlarge it, and he promises he wouldn’t love you less if you have to take it off for the time being.

he’d offer you his arms whenever you want to walk, carry you when you don’t want to walk, insist on decorating the nursery while you sit and supervise him without lifting a finger, beat some sense into lecture childe when the ginger says something that unknowingly touches your nerve and makes you burst into tears, pick up the things your drop, help you put on your shoes, help you bathe and towel you dry and dress you in loose silk robes, fulfill all your weird cravings, hold your hair as you throw up the pickles and ice cream combo he got you at three am in the morning - listen. this man. he will literally be at your beck and call.

now about the baby itself… whether it would be a full human or half/full adeptus of half/full dragon, i'd like to imagine it's not set in stone and it'll be a roulette lol personally i would say that him having a normal human baby would be preferable to zhongli himself, since it adheres to his wish of living the rest of his life as a mortal… but imagining him cradling a half-dragon baby who’s yet to be able to shapeshift to hide their horns and tails and tiny claws just. makes me so soft ;w;

[cw.monsterfucking, cw.implied ovipos] there's also the possibility of him impregnating you in his dragon form and pumping his clutches inside you but i will leave that to juju @/seakicker

oh, and ganyu and xiao would definitely dote over the child (in their own way) when they’re born, you can’t tell me otherwise-

ps. if you want to be removed/added from the taglist, just send an ask!

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #cw.pregnancy #cw.kids #afab!reader #zhongli #zhongli x reader #rin writes #minors dni

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charmedreincarnation · 1 year

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My shift to Bnha

I’ll start with the basics. For starters my reality is a bit different. The legal age is 25, so therefore school duration is longer, and our ages are different. I start UA when I was 19 years old, which made me a year 1 student. my parents are both prominent figures in hero society, and I was an only child to them. I only add this because I think it’s important to acknowledge background information because it shapes your experience and your placement in society, especially in a world filled with heroes everything is ranked and merit based.

UA .⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Contrary to popular belief, at least in my reality school is very much emphasized and just as important as hero work. For me a typical day looked like, getting up at 7:45 to prepare for classes that started at 8:30 and ending at 5. We do have a one hour lunch break, and a specific period to work on our specific quirks alone any way we see fit. A lot of people do use that time to slack off and hang out with friends, but they’ve recently become very strict about it. Credits to to Tenya Ida for informing the board of what people were really doing ! A lot of people were mad but honestly I am a teachers pet in this reality so I kind of appreciated it.

I can’t speak for the other classes, maybe it’s because of everything we went to, but we are not a class we are genuinely family. I am closest to Izuku, Sui, Ochacho, Mina, Todoroki and MoMo! Not in any particular order. I’m not going to talk about everyone but here are some of the reasons I love them <3

•Mina is just as extroverted quirky and bubbly as you would expect. Shes one of those people you meet and you can’t help but adore because they energy is so welcoming and they’re so loving. She’s kind of a prankster and a rumor starter and I find it hilarious. You can’t keep anything from her, though but once she has a narrative she has narrowed upon, you have a better chance of changing the devils mind.

For example i talked about this in a different post, but she started a rumour that bakugo is in love with izuku and that’s why he’s mad all the time. It got back to bakugo and he threatened to turn the cafeteria into a live bake oven. It’s honestly hilarious how she can make a whole room laugh. Or make anyone mad.. I guess it’s a talent regardless.

•Sui is the sweetest girl ever. She kind of keeps to herself but she’s honest and what you see is what you get. She’s also kind of emotional and I am kind of a cry baby too there so we get each other. We really just want to do our best and see everyone succeed. I would say both of us made friendships are bigger priority than hero training and we have both been called out for it too.

•Ochacho is very similar to Mina but she can also get down to business when she needs to. Everyone loves her, and her powers are super helpful in any situation, like for sneaking out quietly… but I wouldn’t know anything about that. I vividly remember having a conversation about our hero progress and she’s deeply insecure. She grew up impoverished and Monterey compensation is one of the reasons that really encouraged her to be a hero. I remember one time she was telling me how impressive I was during the first few weeks of school because I had a better handle on my quirk than her. She said something of how I was meant to be a hero. It made me sad because I admired her will and determination more than anyone. I had so many factors that put me ahead in some of my peers. My mother is a pro hero and I went to a profound middle school that molded me to be ready. I told her she was born to be a hero and I was made to be a hero. I was being honest and I didn’t think it meant anything but she always reminds me of how she thinks about that anytime she’s in a situation where she needs help. Nothing made me happier

•Momo and my quirks are very similar. My quirk is called clairvoyance somnium, and my hero name is dreamer. Kind of what she can do but I visualize whatever I need. I can also do more things that I won’t get into but a lot of it, I was inspired by my shifting methods ! Anyways she’s the sweetest and we live pretty close to each other so I’ve seen her around for a while. She’s honestly very gorgeous and we both struggle with insecurities and anxiety, so she really is someone I relate and rely on. Maybe it’s because our quirks or so similar or we have similar backgrounds and personalities but… she’s probably the person I am closest with! But I really do love everyone equally

Bakugo .⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Ok lots of people ask about him so let’s go.

Yes he’s so loud and always angry. You know I thought i would be scared of him but I honestly even I even give him snarky remarks sometimes (in a nice way because I am so nice in this dr) but wow he is the loudest person I’ve ever met in any dr but his powers are amazing we all respect it

Contrary to popular belief..no one is scared of him. As angry, loud and aggressive as he is he has proven time and time again all he wants to do is be a hero. Honestly it surprised some of us but everyone knows he has kind of good intentions under his wrath ??

He also makes everything a competition and he’s actually good at eveything. He’s good at school I’m pretty sure he placed after me in mid terms ! I got third and he got fourth. He’s a great cook and baker. We had a baking competition and he placed after sato. We made ramen and he made the best ramen ! Like he’s not as dumb as he looks. He’s also in a one sided competition with Todoroki but as we have all noticed he doesn’t give a fuck.

Powers .⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

This may be egotistical but I could not imagine not being a hero in a world with 80% hero. Don’t let the league of villains hear this it will fuel their fire. 🥲 in all seriousness we are lectured that we are not better than anyone, and we are simply stronger than other people and that is it so we shouldn’t let it conflate our egos. The only way we would be given the green flag to pat our own backs is when are abilities begin to save millions of lives. But then I guess if we’re only being heroes to look good then would that really make us heroes. At least that’s what I wrote about in my English essay. Present mic did in fact eat it up, I got an amazing grade on it. But that’s not the point. The point is it’s easy to get a big head but we were simply genetically lucky, not better, smarter, etc.

Now that philosophy is behind us, having powers is so cool and coming back here the limits of other realities having no bounds never fails to amaze me. Our quirks are an extension of ourselves and literally are us. It’s not second nature, it’s first nature after having these abilities for so long. Especially my quirk, if I wanted I could “dream” 500 million yen, and well I wouldn’t be able to put it in the bank but I digress. Finding out what your quirk can do and how far your cbs push your limits always allows us to be going through moments of self discovery. Having a quirk is honestly it’s own life alone, and I genuinely could not be happier.

My favorite classes .⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

As a student in this incredible universe, I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to pursue many amazing topics of study.

One class I took was Hero Studies, where we learned about the many different hero theories and methods of justice, as well as what it takes to become an effective hero. We also discussed the history of the hero world and its evolution throughout the years. It was a fascinating subject and definitely one of my favorites!

The next class I took was Quirk Studies. Here we learned all about quirks, their effects on people and how they can be used to help protect civilians and stop villains. We even discussed how to best work with a partner with a different quirk, and how to combine two quirks to create a unique and powerful attack.

Finally, I also took a class called Combat Training. This class taught us all about combat techniques and how to use the environment and our natural abilities in order to survive any situation. We learned how to effectively dodge and block attacks, as well as how to use our quirks to create powerful attacks.

We of course also had the general classes of math, English, science, math, and music

The classes at UA High were some of the most interesting classes I have ever taken and I am so grateful for having the opportunity to explore them. Not only did I learn a lot about the world of My Hero Academia, but I also grew as a person and as a hero.

Random funny story .⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

I’m going to tell you one of the funniest most embarrassing things that happened during the UA sports festive. This happened during the third event, when we were in teaams.

I was with Izuku, mei, Ochako, and fumikage. Everyone is trying to steal the headband from us because Izuku has all the points ! Everyone was targeting us and it was so unfair. during the last few seconds I started running to dream us a tower so we can hide and to grow into to the skies. Then someone came so they threw me the headband and i I was waiting for them but then they got attacked and they told me just go without them !?? I was literally shaking and my anxiety was at an all time high time so I quirked my tower or whatever and made it grow and then the time ran out! I had the headband and we thought we won and we were cheering but umm no. I was the only winner technically because I wasn’t with my team. BUT because that took away FROM the point of the team work part I was deducted points from my own Individual points because that wasn’t the point of the challenge. Honestly you win some you lose some. It was a fun experience regardless.

Also honestly i shifted here around the time of the World Cup, which I could not care less about, but I get the hype of sports witnessing Izuku’s fight against Shinso (manipulation guy.) it was so awesome !!! I was at the edge of my seat the entire time!!! So I guess Now I understand how some people feel about sports lol. By the end of the festival, I got third place overall and my mom was so proud of me. It was the honestly a great feeling.

Random dump with no correlation

my mother (Uwabami’s) Quirk gives her a trio of live snakes growing from her head. One of the snakes have acute senses, allowing her to locate hidden criminals and disaster victims.one snakes also has a scent that can make her victims mindless slaves, one snake produces poison and attacks her victims.

my father who also attended UA with my mom has Squirmy Fingers (can precisely bend and control his fingers, giving him great dexterity) As well as a High Scientific knowledge Skills IQ in engineering. I found this interesting because usually children are a combination of their parents quirks or either or, and mine has nothing to do with either lol.

Todoroki’s pretty smart though he places after Bakugou in the mid terms. he also loves to read ! He’s also politically educated and actually had profound knowledge on the history of heroes and how and why he believe hero’s and villains came to be so.. surprisingly he is more philosophical than I would think. He doesn’t really talk about it or bring it up because if you have a good conversation with him and get him to open up it is always worth.

Food

Tbh to no surprise the food options were eclectic and varied. There was something for everyone! I had everything from traditional Japanese dishes such as ramen and sushi, to western and American-style dishes like pizza and burgers. I even had access to a variety of international cuisines like Indian, Chinese, and Korean.

One of my favorite places to get a good meal was the school cafeteria. Every day it was full of delicious options, from freshly-cooked dishes to the convenience of pre-packaged items. There were also lots of drinks and snacks available. On certain days, the cafeteria also served special meals such as curry or tonkatsu.

If I was looking for something a bit more fast-paced, there were several food stalls and restaurants around town. I could find an assortment of things like ramen, takoyaki, and okonomiyaki. There were also locations that offered more unique dishes such as Japanese-style hamburgers or omurice (Omelette Rice).

Although I often ate at restaurants, I also cooked meals in my dorm room. I could make simple dishes with ingredients from the local grocery store, like fried rice, or make something more complicated with ingredients from the nearby specialty grocery store. I even tried my hand (well with sato as well) at making dango, the traditional Japanese dessert.

Tbh No matter what type of food I was looking for, UA had it though. With all of the different options available, there was something to satisfy whatever cravings I had.

I also write and speak in English so don’t ask any language questions because I do not know

#law of assumption #manifesation #manifesting #reality shifting #shiftblr

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berryhobii · 5 months

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Hiiiii i just absolutely love your work and your representation for us black fans/readers thank u sm!!! im also extremely obsessed with Late for Work couple but this could go for any of the couples. im not sure if youre still taking requests (if not im so sorry not trying to be pushy kdjsks) but i wanted to know how would you think reader x Jungkook handle being an interracial couple in korea?! esp w her being a black woman? like reader feels a moment of insecurity or something and JK feels angry that someone made her feel that way and just loves her and makes her feel better? pure fluff or smut, ik you'd capture it perfectly 🥺💞 love you keep up the amazing work and take it easy!!!! xoxoxoxxxxx 💜💜💜

Hi! Thanks so much for your request! It really inspired me because I definitely understand being in an interracial relationship and the prejudice and problems we as black people face when he decide to date outside of our race. To my black people, WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. We have always been beautiful. People who hate on us fear our beauty because they know they could never replicate us or do what we do. Again, thank you for your request and I hope you enjoy! I made it a angsty but with fluff and just a tiny little piece of smut at the end. I also set this with the LFW Couple during their engagement phase🩵🩵🩵

Being a black woman, you’ve faced a lot of hate and turmoil. Some from your own community, some from others and even some self deprecation from yourself.

Regardless, you had amazing parents and friends who always assured you that your skin was beautiful and that you were beautiful. You were a black woman—the blueprint, the most elegant and graceful, the most envied.

You should be proud and you were.

Despite having so much overflowing confidence, there were moments where you could feel that little monster called insecurity crawling up your spine.

The most recent moment you could remember was a few months after you got engaged to your now wonderful husband, Jungkook.

He had taken charge of a lot of the wedding planning, saying he had a lot of good ideas and since he spent a lot of time at home anyway, he’d do most of the searching and calling. Of course, you’d come home and give some of your ideas as well.

“It’s your day, baby. I want you to have everything you want.”

Your heart and tummy soared with butterflies at hearing that. He really treated you like a princess. It was both of your wedding but Jungkook wanted you to have the wedding of your dreams. He didn’t care if you wanted him to wear pajamas or dye his hair orange, he’d do it if it meant you’d be happy.

With wedding preparations came things like makeup consultations and hair trials. As a black woman in Korea, there wasn’t a lot of options for makeup that fit your skin or people who understood your natural hair so you knew you’d probably be relying on yourself a lot for the time being. Good thing you knew how to do your own makeup and hair but doing it yourself kind of took away the magic and experience of wedding planning.

Thankfully, with some hard searching, you found a salon with a black employee. You could have cried tears of joy, seeing as her skin complexion was close to yours and that she had experience with wedding makeup.

Her name was Jazz and she was actually born in South Korea. The salon she worked at was owned by a close friend of her parents and she’s been working there for a few years.

“So, tell me about your fiancé. Is he handsome?” She asked you in English as she detangled your hair. Your Korean was pretty good but you sometimes preferred English.

You smiled just thinking about him, pulling up a photo of him on your phone. It was a selfie you two took after getting engaged—your left hand raised to show off your ring and him cheesing hard at the camera.

Jazz made an ‘oooo’ sound, looking a little closer at him. “He is very handsome. How’d you bag someone like that?”

With candy crush, you thought.

“Yeah. He’s amazing. He’s so kind and sweet too. I can’t imagine life without him.” You chattered dreamily. Your life had barely started with Jungkook but you wanted to live the rest of it with him. You wanted to laugh with him, to scold him for staying up too late, to argue with him and then make up later, to experience every joyous moment with him.

You only wanted him. For the rest of your life.

Jungkook came to pick you up after your appointment, waltzing into the shop like he owned it. You bit your lip at the sight of him—he’s being growing his hair out, claiming he wanted to see how it would look before the wedding. He asked how you’d like it and you insisted you’d love his hair any kind of way but you were secretly wishing he’d grow it out and wear a ponytail. Fingers crossed!

When you started spending more time together, you noticed how many hours he spent in the gym. You’d FaceTime him sometimes and he’d often be boxing or lifting weights, sweat dripping down his neck and muscles bulging. And yes, the first time you two had sex was after one of those calls. You had given yourself a 90 day time restraint, just to make sure he was pursuing you for more than just sex. 89 days was pretty close though so you considered it a win!

He scrunched his nose in a cute smile when he saw you, long legs carrying him over to where you were getting some final touchups by Jazz. She noticed him approaching, jaw dropping at your fiancé.

She leaned down to whisper scream in your ear, “girl he is fine as hell!”

You chuckled. “I know.” Standing to your feet, you greeted your sexy fiancé. “Hi baby.” You greeted in Korean.

Once he was close enough, he pulled you into a hug, inhaling the scent of your clean hair and all the products Jazz used. He pulled away to get a good look at you.

“You look beautiful baby.” He complimented and you smiled even wider, feeling all giddy under the praise. “Do you think this is the hairstyle you want for the wedding?”

“I like it but I don’t know. I’m gonna come back.”

“Please do!” Jazz chimed from behind you, making both of you laugh.

“Jungkook, this is Jazz.” You introduced. He smiled politely at her, reaching out a hand for her to shake.

“Nice to meet you.”

“The pleasures mine. I have so many ideas for the wedding and I just know your fiancé will look amazing in anything.” She gushed.

You felt Jungkook’s hand squeeze at your waist, looking down at you with soft eyes that made your heart flutter.

“I know she will too.”

You wanted to plant a smooch right on those lips, squeeze him tightly and never let him go.

Jazz’s grin was wider than the damn Joker. Ah, she loved love.

Jungkook’s eyes widened slightly as he remembered something, turning to Jazz, he inquired, “hey, do you guys dye hair here? I’m thinking of going purple.” He followed an excited Jazz over to the wall where they kept hair dye samples.

You smiled endearingly at both of them. They both gave off golden retriever energy. You hoped they’d be friends.

While they did that, you went back to the waiting area. You had seen a wedding magazine that you wanted to show Jungkook.

There were 2 older Korean lady’s sitting there, chatting to each other and reading magazines as well. They looked up when you entered, giving you looks that you’ve grown used to living here. It wasn’t really disgust or anything, it was more like a “what are you going here” kind of look.

You smiled at them, bowing your head a little in respect before shifting through the magazines for the one you were looking for. You found it, flipping through the pages to search for the centerpieces you saw.

“She’s marrying him? How distasteful.” You heard one of them say. You paused for a second. Were they talking about you? No, right? They were already having a conversation before you walked up. They were probably talking about someone else.

Just mind your business, you thought.

“It’s bad enough one of them is working here. I don’t want her touching my hair but Sunhee insists she knows what she’s doing. I don’t believe it. They can barely take care of their own hair. Just look at it.”

There was no way you could doubt that. They were definitely talking about Jazz. She had hair that appeared shorter, compliments of shrinkage. She showed you a photo of her hair straight and it was very close to her butt. You knew of the negative implications behind natural hair, especially when it came to shrinkage and the stereotypes surrounding it. You wished people understood more about black hair but ignorance had no bounds.

“I’d never let my son marry one of her kind. Look at her. She looks dirty. Just imagine their children. Ugh.”

Dirty? You weren’t dirty. And what was one of your kind? They were talking about you like you were less than human. You’ve experienced a lot over the years living here in South Korea—fetishization, discrimination, even people randomly touching you but you’ve never had anyone be that bold to speak about you right in front of you. They must have heard you speaking English with Jazz and assumed you didn’t understand them. Or they could very much well know you spoke Korean and just didn’t care.

You didn’t even realize Jungkook approaching you, startling a little at his hand on your back.

“You alright, baby?”

You managed a convincing smile. You didn’t want to cause a scene or anything. Jungkook was very overprotective of you. He didn’t tolerate disrespect and your comfort and safety was his number one priority. He was quick to remove you from any situations that he thought you’d be unsafe in and he was even quicker in shutting someone down who tried to embarrass or disrespect you.

You trusted him with your whole heart so why was it so hard to tell him? You took one look in those doe like eyes and you never wanted to see them harden in anger or get misty with tears.

So you smiled and reassured him. “I’m fine. I wanted to show you these centerpieces. Aren’t they nice?”

“They’re wonderful. I really like that arrangement. Let me take a picture of it.” He pulled out his phone and snapped a quick photo. “Ready to go? Taehyung and Namjoon invited us out to dinner.”

“Yup. All ready. Let me just say bye to Jazz.”

He nodded and let you go. Your smile dropped when you turned around, speed walking over to Jazz who was cleaning her station.

She noticed you walking up. “Oh, your fiancé already paid for you. He also made an appointment to dye his hair purple. Can you believe it? I personally think red would suit him better but-“

You cut her off by pulling her into a tight hug. You know you just met her so this was probably strange but you just needed her to know something.

She did think this was the tiniest bit weird but she still reciprocated your hug. You were a really nice person and she loved knowing of another black woman living in the same area.

“You okay?” She asked.

You pulled away and smiled at her. “I’m wonderful. And you’re beautiful.”

Her expression softened. “Thank you. So are you.”

“Here, take my number. I’d love it if you could come to my wedding.”

The entire car ride home, you were quiet. You had turned on the music to avoid any conversation. You knew if Jungkook started questioning you about what happened at the salon, you’d break and tell him about those women. You also knew it was stupid of you to hold it in but you just couldn’t tell him. You’d just forget and move on.

Yeah, that wasn’t happening.

When you got home, Jungkook went to take a phone call and you went to the bedroom to stare at yourself in the mirror.

You loved your hair. You loved yourself. You loved your skin. Those women were just ignorant. You shouldn’t let them get to you.

But you couldn’t stop thinking of what they said about you and Jungkook.

“I’d never let my son marry one of her kind.”

Did Jungkook’s parents think that of you? They were very kind to you and never made you feel not welcomed. You spoke to his mother all the time about the wedding. She’s even taught you how to cook Jungkook’s favorite meals. His father was a bit more stern but still a very kind man.

And what about Jungkook? Did he have an issue with you being black? You don’t think he would have dated or proposed to you if he didn’t, right? You never assumed he had an issue with your race just like you didn’t have a problem with his. Of course, you acknowledged he was Korean and you did your best to respect him and his culture. He was always so open, assuring that you could ask him anything and you did the same.

He admitted you were the first non Korean woman he’s ever dated and he didn’t want to do anything to offend you. Like he assured you, you told him that you weren’t much different from others. You still expected him to treat you well in this relationship and vice versa. Your differences in your races and culture didn’t really change very much.

So moments like these really made you wonder if you were too different.

“Baby, we have a few hours before dinner. Did you want to play It Takes Two with me?” Jungkook asked as he entered the bedroom. He noticed how you were staring at yourself but not in the normal admiring way you often did.

This time, your face looked somber. Was something bothering you?

“Baby? Are you okay?”

You looked at him through the mirror.

You couldn’t keep it from him any longer.

Sighing, you turned to face him. He had moved closer to you so now he was just inches away.

For some reason, you couldn’t lift your eyes to meet his. Shame burned at you.

Jungkook pouted his lip and tilted his head, reaching out a hand to cup your cheek and raise your head. Your eyes met and suddenly that dam broke.

He could see how your eyes began to tear up and he panicked. “What’s wrong? What happened?” He racked his brain for anything he could have done to upset you but nothing was really coming to mind. Was this one of those times you wanted him to pick up on hints? He could be a little dense sometimes which you thought was cute. You were good at communicating which helped both of you avoid any unnecessary problems.

So what was wrong?

“Jungkook…..do you….have a problem with me being black?”

Wow. Not what he was expecting. Then again, he didn’t really know what to expect. You hardly cried so he hasn’t gotten very good at determining your types of crying.

He was baffled by your question. “What? What are you talking about?”

You sighed again. “Well, I overheard these women talking at the salon. They were talking about me and Jazz. They called me dirty and said that they’d never let their sons marry one of my kind….” You inhaled a shaky breath, looking away from his eyes. If you looked any longer, the tears would fall.

Jungkook felt two emotions well up in him. The first was pure rage because how dare someone speak about you like that? He wished he had heard it because he would have given those women a piece of his mind. Respecting your elders was an important part of his culture but he didn’t give a damn about that when someone was disrespecting you.

The second emotion was sympathy because he hated seeing you doubt yourself. You were such a wonderful person, surefooted and with an unflappable spirit. You let comments roll off your back like water, only looking ahead and never letting people taint your energy. He knew you used to struggle sometimes with self love, especially trudging through the world as a black woman but he never saw it get to you and he admired that about you.

So to see you ready to cry over this made his heart ache for you.

“Sweetheart, look at me.”

You blinked your tears away, slowly shifting your gaze to stare back at him. A gentle smile was on his face, one you only ever saw during moments like this—those moments where he could fully open his heart up to you.

“Do you really think I would have even pursued you if I had a problem with that?”

You shrugged your shoulder. “I don’t know….” You mumbled, averting your gaze again but he moved his head a little to make you look at him again.

“I think you’re the most stunning person I’ve ever laid eyes on. When I first saw you, all I could think was how could such a gorgeous person exist? Naturally, I noticed your skin but only because it was glowing. You were brighter than anyone in that restaurant.”

You choked out a watery laugh. You remember that day. It was one of those days where you felt particularly hot. You weren’t expecting to meet someone but there was Jungkook, a little awkward but so charming. He caught your attention immediately. No one knew but receiving those flowers from him solidified your attraction to him and a part of you knew you’d be together in the long haul.

“I don’t care about you being black.” Then he realized what he said and backtracked a little. “Well, of course I care but you know, I don’t and….wait let me start over.” He stumbled, making you laugh again. That boyish awkwardness always managed to rear its head but it only made you fall for him even harder.

“I get what you mean.”

He sheepishly grinned before continuing, “I care about it because I care about you but I also don’t care because that’s not all you are. You’re sensible and bright and clever and so self assured. Not to mention, your ass is absolutely amazing and I want it tattooed on my forehead.”

You snorted a laugh, playfully smacking him on the chest. He was so silly but he knew if it was possible, he’d do it. He was that obsessed with you and everything about you.

“You’re ridiculous.”

He wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you closer to him, sparkling eyes blinking up at him.

“And your laugh is goofy and you’re bad at reading directions for furniture and you put your freezing cold feet on me at night which drives me insane.” He huffed.

“Socks are uncomfortable.” You defended.

“But…” He leaned down to brush his lips over yours. “I love all of that about you. I’ve never once doubted that. I love you, all of you.”

The tears finally fell but they weren’t because of your insecurity, not anymore. They were because you adored this man in front of you and you felt so unbelievably lucky to have him in your life.

“I love you too.”

Your lips met in a kiss that reminded you that he was what you needed. He was the only person you wanted.

And as you made love that night, sweet whispers of his love warming your skin, all of those previous anxieties had completely dispersed from your mind. His cock stretched you open, your arms holding him tightly and his hands grounding you to this reality. His lips blazed hot kisses across any skin he could reach, hips pushing slow and deep inside of you and bringing you closer to euphoria.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, gripping your thighs that were wrapped around his waist and keeping him close.

“Jungkook….” You breathily uttered his name, not knowing what else to say but he didn’t need you to. He could feel all of your emotion through his name and he wanted to hear more of it.

“I got you, baby. Always.”

That little monster was locked back in its cage for now. You couldn’t guarantee it wouldn’t break free again but you knew Jungkook would be there to help you through everything.

Everytime.

#bts #bts smut #bts x black reader #bts fic #askberryhobii #jungkook smut

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pancakesandpessimism · 1 year

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Okay, so hear me out: I think Camila’s an official Crime Mom™ now.

I mean, we see that Vee and Luz graduated together, and the assumption is that it was from a human school, right?

I don’t know about you guys, but my high school required some paperwork to enroll a student. Namely A. some form of ID for the student, like a birth certificate, and B. proof that the parent trying to enroll the kid has legal guardianship over said child. Probably more stuff that my parents didn’t bother telling me about. Not to mention we see Vee playing baseball in one of the Noceda house photos, and while I’m aware this one might just be a My School/District thing, for high school we had to provide proof of ID AND a full vaccination record in order to participate in sports (this was true for school and competitive leagues).

Now, while I’m positive Camila would make sure her babies are fully vaccinated (not just Luz and Vee, you know the whole Hexsquad got hit with a strom of shots the moment she realized these kids were trapped in a world their immune systems weren’t built to survive in), seeing a record that has ALL the vaccinations starting only a few months ago despite most getting them as infants-children miiiiiight raise some eyebrows. Especially when the student is supposedly the sister of another student whose records DO start at infancy. Not that it’s impossible for this to happen, but combining that with the fact that Vee has no birth certificate or official record of her existence to speak of, which also probably means Camila has no proof of guardianship because how do you adopt a kid who legally doesn’t exist, people would notice something’s up.

Which then begs the question: How did Vee graduate, or get enrolled at all?

I present to you: Camila the Crime Mom™. Specifically, Camila the Identity Forger™.

I’d like to think that’s actually what Eda and Camila were talking about in that photo where they’re sharing apple blood. Eda was trying to give Camila some tips on how to make the documents look official (she probably has plenty of practice between her history scamming people and her general knowledge of crime. Not to mention she could hook Camila up with an expert or two if necessary, she’s got Connections) and a warm welcome to the Crime Parent Squad, while Camila comes to the realization that Luz did not embellish any of her stories about Eda’s criminal acts in any way. As a matter of fact, she was probably sugarcoating a lot of stuff.

And yes, there’s a possibility that she simply asked Gus to help them out with some illusions, but I raise you: Camila would want to do it herself because that’s her baby and she will ensure that Vee gets the education she wants without having to forfeit her new form, or any other part of herself.

Idk, it just makes me really happy to think that both of Luz’s moms not only would, but HAVE, broken the law for their kids. That is a family you Do Not want to mess with. Not to mention the idea that Camila went from letting societal pressures and her own painful experiences influence how she handled Luz’s education to committing a full on felony because fuck it, if her snake-daughter wants to go to school then she’s going to school brings a smile to my face.

Tldr Camila Noceda remains one of the best mothers in animated history and I love her.

#toh #the owl house #toh finale #Watching and Dreaming #toh spoilers #camila noceda #I don't talk enough about how much I adore Camila #Mother of the Year

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matthyeu · 1 year

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i would rather die ― kjw.

pairing ⇢ kim jiwoong x gn!reader

genre ⇢ angst, fluff, enemies to lovers, royal!au

warnings ⇢ violence, blood, swearing

word count ⇢ 2.8k

synopsis ⇢ it only took a near death experience for you to realize the crown prince of vuiryn wasn't all that bad.

dressing up, dancing, laughing, eating small appetizers for aesthetic purposes. they were all things you never did in your everyday life despite your position as the child of your kingdom’s ruler. in technical terms, this was supposed to be your social group, fellow children of rulers or other noble people gathered together.

but it wasn’t.

before being the future ruler of your kingdom, you were the leader of the military, the leader who was forced to leave behind their comrades as you attended this gala your father pushed onto you. you thought while your kingdom was at war with several other rebelling countries, you should have been in the front line, guiding the troops and making plans. your father had other plans though, leaving your second in command to handle this week’s battles.

for he thought before you were a military general, you were the future of the kingdom, meaning it was your duty to ally yourself with many other future rulers. he wanted not only an allyship, but also a union of two rulers’ children, so your kingdoms would be tied and willing to help in times of despair like this. that was why in his eyes, you were more valuable dressed up to play spoiled royalty desperately looking for a spouse.

still, that wasn’t the kind of person you were, going up to the most known people at these gatherings, kissing up to them in hopes of seducing them to somehow grant your kingdom with surpluses of supplies to aid your losing battle.

besides, most of these people would never want to mingle with someone like you, a known royal who physically had blood on their hands, as if they didn’t have blood on their own from their neglect. at least yours wasn’t the blood of your own people.

“haven’t seen you for months.”

and there was the most arrogant one of them all, the one who probably had not only his hands covered but also his entire body. there was no way prince jiwoong of vuiryn didn’t have an overflowing pool of citizens’ blood in the back of his royal palace. his demeanor and powerful aura already exemplified that of a power-hungry ruler. if his ruling was anything like his father’s, you could count on that pool becoming a whole ocean of blood, a literal red sea, once he was crowned.

he was probably the only one your father didn’t want you to attempt to seduce. it would be favorable if your kingdom was not intertwined with the tyranny of vuiryan. it would not settle well with your people, knowing the reputation the current king had.

it was unfortunate that he was the only one of the royal social circle to even attempt conversing with you.

“must you always do this?” you asked, finishing the remains of the wine poured to you by one of the servers, its cost probably enough to cover important funding for your comrades’ weapons.

“i figured you would have liked some company. you’re always off on your own world at these gatherings. wouldn’t kill you to intersect the conversations y’know?” he attempted to joke with you.

he was always like that, playful but in a way that put himself on a pedestal to look down at you. even with his more positive attitude, you knew better than to place any trust in him. he too probably gossiped among the groups about how pathetic you always seemed when you were alone.

there was nothing good that came out of someone like kim jiwoong. he was just another child of one of the many tyrannical rulers across the land. you could never put partial blame on them for their parents’ actions, for your own father would probably act in a similar manner if you hadn’t taken it upon yourself to lead the military to protect your citizens.

“after all the times you’ve done this, i would think you understand i would like nothing to do with you,” you emphasized as you finished your drink, placing it in a bin of various dirty glasses to be cleaned. “now if you’re done annoying me, i’ll be going.”

you turned your heel, beginning to walk away from him. not long after, however, you felt a harsh grab at your wrist. immediately, your eyes rolled back, nearly enough to look into the interior of your skull. was he really going to do this?

did he really have to do this when you just wanted to go off to find some unsuspecting victim to seduce into granting your kingdom the needed money to fund the troops? he was really getting on your nerves.

“jiwoong, let go of me,” you sternly demanded, trying to thrash away from the grasp.

the first siren went off when the grip around your wrist tightened. as much as jiwoong liked to provoke you, he would have never gone this far, bringing such discomfort to you. there was something off about this.

your suspicions were confirmed as you felt cold metal across the skin of your neck and an equally cold voice whispering in your ear. “don’t move now, your highness.”

your eyes immediately darted around the room where many were in the same position as you, held at knifepoint and threatened with their life. some failed to follow instructions in a panic and paid the price as a consequence.

this was another reason you hated coming to royal gatherings. they were the perfect place to be ambushed. you couldn’t care less about leaving your kingdom without a future ruler, but to leave your comrades without a current one, that was something you could not do.

you obeyed his commands, stilling without any sign of resistance. you would figure something out. you always did. it was just…there was no way you could pull anything off in the position you were in. any move would leave you dead, and you didn’t have anything on you to wiggle yourself out of the situation. your father was stern on not bringing anything that would intimidate the rest of the guests. if only he knew that could cost the life of his dear child.

the only thing you could do was oblige to the commands. you could read their intentions. these people were not in it to kill. if so, they wouldn’t have let as many people run as they did. if they wanted to kill you, they already would have. they wanted ransom. you could figure out a plan once they took you to wherever they were planning.

“UUAGH.”

or not. the knife at your throat was lowered after your attacker was…well attacked by someone else. you looked over to see jiwoong, hands bloodied but still holding on. quickly, he grabbed you by the wrist and you two began your run, far away from the ballroom where hell had been let loose.

“let go of me!” you yelled as you struggled against his grasp, which almost caused both of you to tumble over.

a harsh motion was made to release your wrist, and you could see the annoyance on his face. “wow, not even a thank you. if you didn’t notice i just saved your fucking life. if you had stood there in shock any longer, you would be dead.”

you turned away from him, defeated that you couldn’t think of a witty remark to counter it. he was right. you had frozen the moment you were freed. if your attacker had gotten up, it would have been over for you. you whispered a few incoherent swears to yourself, frustrated you let your guard down so easily while at the gathering. it was not like you to do that, but now it had you on the brink of life and death.

“thanks,” you mumbled.

you heard him chuckle, somehow still mocking you at this moment. “can’t hear you you.”

you sighed, rolling your eyes as you two turned a corner. you still had yet to know where you were running to. the corridors of the palace seemed endless, and you didn’t know the way out. from the looks of how the two of you continued to run, jiwoong didn’t know either.

your lack of knowledge on the palace layout was your biggest drawback. as you turned another corner, you were met with several members of the attacker group, all armed and ready to take you down. it seemed they had shifted gears from kidnapping to killing seeing the resistance the two of you put up.

and here was your second mistake. when your original attacker had fallen back, you should have taken his weapon. not having one rendered both of you useless in this situation. both of you backed up until there was nowhere else to back up.

running seemed out of the question now as there was only a certain amount you two could run until fatigue caught up to you. there had been so much running involved in the earlier moments that your legs would probably give out within fifteen or so minutes of running at a fast pace. there was only a slim chance none of the six men in front of you would be still following you by then. you didn’t know how much stamina they had.

you two looked at each other, the first time you looked at him with genuine concern. this was life-or-death, not a time for you to express your burning hatred toward him.

“you go,” he ordered.

“what.”

with no further explanation, he headed into the crowd first, stalling for as much time as he could. they were too focused on him to even pay mind to you. they wanted the satisfaction of killing just one of you.

seeing the sight, you took off. it was probably better off him than you.

you had a whole future ahead, both for you and the army you led. you couldn’t let yourself perish now. jiwoong, he was just another prince who had no heart for others, no consideration for his citizens. if he was gone, vuiryn would not have another tyrannical ruler. this was completely fine.

however, the more you thought about it, the more it wasn’t fine. what on earth were you thinking? when was it better off if someone was dead? the only answer was if they were a horrible person, but…jiwoong had never even proved to be that kind of person to you. sure he was annoying, but you couldn’t recall a time where he had mentioned anything cruel or unsettling.

the overthinking made you pause in the hallway

maybe you had misjudged him. no. you definitely had misjudged him. if he was as cruel as you thought he was, why save you back in the ballroom? he had the stamina and strength to get out of there, but he had risked the extra time to help you.

even if he wasn’t all good like royalty tended to be, there were some things you would never know about him if you let him die.

immediately, you turned around, running back to where you had left him. on the way, you tried to scour for things to use to your advantage. the only thing you could make use of was a vase on display, but it was still better than nothing.

your lungs were already giving out. this was the fastest you had ever ran in this type of clothing, the kind where your legs felt restricted, so you needed to use more muscle to even try to move properly.

by the time you made it back to the scene, your arms and legs had almost made you collapse. you weren’t prepared to do this much running at a gala.

you took a pause at the corner, gripping onto the wall to steady yourself. you only hoped you had made it back in time. your determination would have been useless if he was already gone.

alas, you found yourself weirdly overjoyed seeing jiwoong still struggling with several men, now only two. it was impressive, but you could tell from the look of his stances he was about to lose this fight. you had to step in.

waiting for an opening, you ran back into the scene at the first glimpse of one. both of the attackers’ backs were turned to you, but you were in clear vision of jiwoong when you slammed the vase across their heads. screams of terror were released as you used that window to kick them back into the wall.

now, it was your turn to grab onto jiwoong to make a run for it.

“i told you to run.”

“a thank you would be nice, y’know.”

he laughed at your mockery of his earlier words. the situation had completely changed. now you were the one holding onto him tight as you tried to navigate a way out of the building.

“you seem like the type to want me dead though. change of heart?” he asked, heavy breaths accompanying his words.

“i thought about it, and i would rather die than be indebted to you.” you would never reveal the true reason you came back. it was far too embarrassing for you to admit.

finally, you two made it to an exit, pushing the doors out together in unison. outside, there stood many soldiers, some of them from your own kingdom. it seemed many kingdoms had dispatched soldiers to help clear the palace after the news spread. you felt pity for any soldiers who would have to find the bodies of their respective royals.

“general!” you whipped your head around to see some of your comrades worriedly approaching, “we were worried about you once we heard the news. we had just finished our own battle, but we wanted to come make sure everything was okay.”

you found their concern warming after such an eventful night. “of course i’m alright. i’m a military general after all.”

you heard jiwoong clear his throat behind you. “and because i had prince jiwoong to help me through it.”

you watched as your two comrades exchanged glances, both with each other and between the two of you. their smiles grew. “so you’ve nearly fulfilled your own mission, we see.”

eyes widening at their statement, you realized what they were hinting. jiwoong’s eyes furrowed, opening his mouth to ask a question you could predict. before he could though, you intersected, walking over to where they were administering first aid. “let’s make sure we get wrapped up to prevent infections.”

now, here the two of you sat, sitting across in silence as many doctors and nurses applied ointment at your wounds. there was an uncomfortable silence. neither of you knew how to start a conversation after everything that had happened that night.

it took until your treatment was finished for you to finally ask the one question bothering you the whole night.

“you know how to fight really well? i knew all royals had special training, but you really seemed like you knew what you were doing. i’ve never seen someone in the royal social circle be so unafraid of getting their hands dirty.”

jiwoong looked away with a smile on his face, unsure whether to take your comment as a compliment or an insult. “i’ve always wanted to be a soldier,” he admitted.

the declaration made your eyes widen, to the point where you swore they were about to pop out of your sockets. you had never heard a royal (besides yourself) say such a thing. everyone always called you crazy for the path you chose, so you always assumed he felt the same way.

“so, you don’t think i’m crazy?” you asked for clarification.

he shook his head. “no quite the opposite actually, i’ve been trying to become acquainted with you all this time. i admire your work, and wanted to ask you about how you convinced your father to let you do such a thing.”

your mouth dropped open. you were hating this man for no reason. your hatred was based on false accusations.

“wow, i really know nothing about you.”

“well, do you want to know more about me then?” he suggested.

you smiled at him. “sure, i would love that.”

even though vuiryn was the one kingdom your father didn’t want you to become close with, it was hard now that you knew its prince was nothing like its king. its prince was exactly like you. he truly was the only one who could talk to you because of that.

if that wasn’t enough convincing to allow him to become your ally, you didn’t know what would be.

“i also have thought you were really charming ever since we met, so it’s not just that i wanted to use you for advice. i really want to get to know you.”

or maybe this was the beginning of a union.

you hit him on the shoulder, laughing with him for the first time. “now hold on, we’re going a little fast here, buddy. let’s take it slow.”

#🐨 ― matthyeu #zerobaseone #zb1 #zb1 x reader #zerobaseone x reader #zerobaseone imagines #zb1 scenarios #zb1 drabbles #kim jiwoong #zb1 jiwoong #kim jiwoong x reader #zb1 jiwoong x reader #kim jiwoong imagines #kim jiwoong one-shot #angst #fluff

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dadonbabysworld · 1 year

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Skz Pack: Bad First Impression

Author's Note: Nothing much this time. All feedback is welcome.

Genre: fluff and angst

Warnings: Mention of bad parents, descriptions of shaking from fear, jealousy, one hit with a spoon

Word Count: 2,058

You and Jeongin were laying in bed when he got a call from one of his Hyung’s. He sat up a little to talk, allowing you to rest your head on his lap.

“Yes Minho-hyung?” He asks. You could hear every other word. ‘Bring…the..home.’ Bring what home? Also Minho… that’s Chan’s moonmate. Did Chan need something from Jeongin?

You just sat there confused as Jeongin continued to talk. “No, I can't do that because it is too early.”

After another five minutes of back and forth, Jeongin turns towards you. “Jagiya?” He asks softly.

“Hmm?” You answer by looking up from your own phone which was on Pokemon Go. “Minho-hyung wants to meet you today.” You freeze a little. Your introduction to Chan still had you a little shook. You didn’t expect to be so whipped by him damn near immediately. Could you handle meeting another pack member so soon?

“Oh um.. What does he want to do together?” You ask unsure if you can commit to anything. There is some back and forth before Jeongin looks at you.

“Did you want to cook with him and another member of our pack? They are making dinner and dessert in an hour or so.” You look up at the ceiling. What could go wrong?

“Sure. Is it okay if I cook with them instead of us watching a movie?” You check with him. “Yeah sure. I’ll just go to the library to study. I can take you to our place.”

“Okay thank you.” You both get ready to head outside. Jeongin drives you to their home and kisses you goodbye as you exit the car. You go to the front door and take a deep breath. They aren’t monsters; they are regular people. They won’t hurt you. You knock on the door, finally having found the courage to do so.

A man wearing a headband with ears answers the door. He had brown hair, but you could tell it was dyed beforehand. His facial expression was very serious as he waved at Jeongin. Jeongin finally drove off knowing that you would be safe with his pack mates. After leading you inside, the mystery man sits you at the table across from another man.

“I’m Minho and this is Felix.” Felix had blonde hair similar to Chan’s. Most people in this household had light hair apparently. They both wore sweatshirts and pajama bottoms with slippers. Minho had no jewelry on at all, but Felix had on some silver rings.

“Was I supposed to wear my pajamas?” You questioned feeling a little less included. It wasn’t intentional obviously; they probably just happened to be cold and wore similar things. Also, you didn’t own many sweatshirts, so you would have had to wear a high school one.

“No, it is fine. We bought you some things to wear too” That is how you ended up in a sweatshirt and matching pajama bottoms just like the two men. Felix smiles as you return “You look great.”

“Thank you… are we cooking something big or small?” You ask kindly. You were not a chef in any way, so this would be an experience for you.

“Oh it’s okay you can just watch. We really just wanted to know about you. Jeongin and Chan seem fond of you.” Minho clarifies as he gets some ingredients from the cabinet.

“Oh? Chan has mentioned me?”

“For sure! He said you were nice but very shy. We waited some time before seeing you solely to make sure you didn’t feel like you were meeting us all back to back.” Felix chirps. He is chipper; he is prepping some kind of meat.

“Thank you for giving me such a grace period. I am very nervous as I’m sure Jeongin told you guys. I just don’t want to make a bad first impression.” You explained, playing with your fingers as you looked at Minho.

He hummed before looking at you. “I think you’re overthinking it. Don’t worry. We won’t eat you. Unless you want to be eaten.” He places a hand on your shoulder temporarily before going back to the counter.

As cooking ensues, you fade into the background taking on minor roles Minho asks you to do. While Felix keeps an eye on you from a distance, you are guided by Minho on how to do certain tasks.

“I didn’t grow up being in the kitchen with my parents. I feel bad for needing so much assistance. I appreciate it though. Hopefully, I can prepare a meal alone for you guys.”

Minho smiles and nods. “It would take some weight off mine and Chan’s shoulders considering we handle all those responsibilities alone.”

You felt a little at ease with Minho, but he still held a lot of power around here. As well as, his natural aura just gave off serious and dangerous. Felix hasn’t said much, so you still felt very tense around him.

“Is Jeongin being considerate towards you? He isn’t causing any trouble right?” Minho’s questions make you laugh. “He is being very considerate. Jeongin is so sweet. You guys have raised a nice pup.” You jokingly respond.

“So he’s touchy with you or is he distant? Jeongin isn’t that affectionate with us.”

“He is affectionate and likes to cuddle, but I don’t know if that’s just him being nice towards me.” Minho raises an eyebrow.

“So you’re very affectionate?”

“According to Jeongin, he and Chan think I am touched starved. They think getting me used to regular affection will help.”

“That’s useful to know for us. We can give you the right kind of affection. So physical touch is big for you. I hope we can all honor that well. I am not necessarily touchy so..”

You laugh at him not finishing the sentence. Minho seems so considerate. It doesn’t bother you that you probably won’t get much affection from him. Hopefully, he just accepts your presence first.

You are helping Minho very efficiently, in your opinion when the topic of your childhood comes into play. “So are your parents both also wolves?” You kind of freeze at the thought of your parents before nodding. “They are indeed. My dad was a beta and my mother an omega. She always wanted an alpha though and made it all of our problems. She wanted me to settle down with a nice alpha.”

“Not her living through you. Parents are really something else. I’m glad you have Jeongin though. He indeed is a nice alpha. I’m assuming you’ve had your fair share of bad alpha’s.”

You nod as you try to continue stirring the bowl Minho had given you, but your hands were shaking so badly. You could feel the air from that night. The adrenaline as you ran for your life from the scariest wolf you’ve ever seen in your life.

You end up dropping the bowl off the counter by accident and give an immediate apology as you use your shaky hands to attempt to clean it up on all fours. Minho takes your hands as he squats next to you. “It’s okay.. I’m sorry to have triggered such bad memories for you.”

You were confused as the night went on. You get to know Minho a little, and he’s very nice to you. However, Felix hasn’t said much still even after dinner is done. Minho decided to take some time to clean up a little in their dining room while you and Felix prepare dessert.

“We are really trying to incorporate you into our household because your Jeongin’s mate. He deserves to be happy, but it’s not like we are going to be all buddy buddy like.” Felix explains to you softly, like he was saying something considerate, as he mixes together ingredients for what looks like cookies.

You kinda deflate a little, the shine leaving your eyes. He doesn’t want to do this just to know you. I mean these are Jeongin’s friends. You should have expected them to still be only Jeongin’s friends. The friend’s of your partner are not always your own friends.

You assist him as he asks and afterwards you grab your things to leave. Minho asks, “Are you sure you can’t join us for dinner considering you helped make it?” You reply with a simple nod and bow before leaving. You start walking home in the cold and dark given that it is too late to ask Jeongin for a ride considering you left already, and you no longer feel comfortable asking any of his packmates.

The feeling of sadness washes over you as you walk in the wintery air. Luckily, it was winter, so you could play off crying as just tears from the wind. You thought you had possibly found a new family, a place to call your own. After feeling less than accepted by Felix, you crawled into a hole again. Could you ever face them again? You are feeling guilty for even wanting to join their pack.

Once arriving home, you took a long shower and prepared for bed. Jeongin texts you afterwards asking ‘Are you okay? You could have asked me to take you home.’ You don't feel the best mentally, so you simply ignore it and go to bed. The next morning you wake up to the sound of pounding on your door.

Feeling groggy you get out of bed and head to the door, you croak out a “who is it?” as you look out the peep hole to see Jeongin. “It’s me!” He practically yells. You slowly open the door and by the look on his face he is angry. “Come in.” Before you can even finish, he comes inside and looks at you before sighing.

You close the door before moving towards the kitchen, not sure what to say. He follows you standing in front of the fridge you were just about to open. “I was worried sick about my poor girlfriend who just chose to not answer my text like she couldn’t be kidnapped, sick, or hurt.” You feel a ping of guilt because you forgot someone actually cares about you, especially after last night.

“I’m sorry Jeongin. I wasn’t in the mood to talk, and I did not consider how it would affect you by not responding.” You look into his eyes before looking down. You can’t hold eye contact for long; he deserves to be mad. He hugs you tightly before resting his head on your shoulder. “Don’t do that again, please?” You quickly nod and hug back.

You haven’t even cleaned yourself up yet or eaten. Jeongin still looks at you as if you are the prettiest girl in the world. You smile as he kisses your cheek and asks how it went last night.

“It was fine. Did you want breakfast?”

“You’re sure? Also, breakfast sounds great. We can make it together.”

“Yes, I'm sure. It wasn’t naturally buddy buddy, but we will all come to terms sooner or later.” You grab the things out of your fridge. Unknown to you, Jeongin didn’t feel the best about that answer. They better get buddy-like with you quickly or face his wrath.

Throwing on his grandma voice, he begins to cook. “They better get with or i’m gonna hit them.”

“Oh? I’m so sorry grandma. I will be sure to tell them that.” You respond between laughs. He hits you with a wooden spoon. “I’m serious! I will tell them there's no need for you to do it.”

You smile and rub your arm. “You are lucky I love you. I could hit you back.”

“Look at you! These young children are so violent these days. I have to teach you all a lesson. Young whipper snappers.” He does the slouch as well. You are laughing so hard tears fill your eyes. Jeongin was glad you were happier now.

You both go on to make a beautiful breakfast for you both. Uploading pictures and selfies to your Instagram for fun. It was starting to be a good day for you two. You were trying to ignore the feeling lingering over you that you wouldn’t be accepted into the pack. Yet, Jeongin could tell by the slight change in your scent that something was bothering you, and he was determined to figure out what happened last night.

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divinerapturesys · 7 months

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I didn’t expect my last AsPD post to blow up so here’s another infodump about it rooted in my own personal experiences

let’s get into fucking PARENTS

aka “primary caregivers”

I touched based on this a little bit on my last post which you can find here

“AsPD is a disorder that is caused primarily (according to current research) by trauma and abuse in childhood; most notably being emotional neglect and absent caregivers that cause a child to have emotional shutdowns and repression episodes in an attempt to self soothe. Primary caregivers who do not bond with their children are also a factor. Children learn how to behave from those around them. If a primary caregiver is emotionally distant and unavailable, children will learn that is normal behavior and that’s how people are. If a primary caregiver does not provide empathy and sympathy during moments of distress and fear, children will learn that aloofness and disregard of others feelings is normal behavior. If a primary caregiver does not keep a child safe, children will learn that they should not prioritize their own safety.”

So let’s break this down:

❌ “Primary caregivers who do not bond with their children are also a factor”

- bonding with an infant is incredibly important; this builds the first imprints of safety and security into a child; when a caregiver consistently and positively responds to an infants needs, this creates attachment and trust.

- Babies are inherently going to try to initiate a bond with their primary caregivers; crying, eye contact, cuddling, grabbing, all of these are ways an infant is trying to connect; these are natural cues asking for comfort and safety

- Not being given those causes children to start out with an unstable baseline; it has been proven repeatedly via research that children who are not held and comforted during the first stages of infancy are more likely to struggle with relationships and struggle with appropriately expressing emotions

🍓 Personal experience:

I did not bond with almost any of my primary caregivers (both bio and adoptive). To my knowledge, I was heavily abused, trafficked and starved the first 18 months of my life before CPS stepped in after I almost died. Being so neglected and left to self soothe, I learned from the start that no one cared for me and that I couldn’t depend on anyone but myself, ever, even in my most vulnerable moments, because when I was at my most vulnerable stage, I was not cared for or protected and was even taken advantage of by my primary caregivers.

❌ “If a primary caregiver is emotionally distant and unavailable, children will learn that is normal behavior and that’s how people are.”

- this is pretty explanatory I think but I’ll still go into it

- children are mimics and copycats; they learn how to act and think based on who they’re with the most

- Primary caregivers who are distant to their children unknowingly ingrain the concept that distance is safety, and that being unavailable is normal, and that it’s a way to be strong

- Children will begin to expect adults to not respond emotionally to them, and will similarly begin to limit their own emotional responses to match their caregivers in an attempt to connect and mirror

🍓 Personal experience:

My adoptive mom was very distant; I was homeschooled until I was 9, my dad worked full time and my mom was a sahm. However she spent most of here time handling their business. Which meant I was left to my own devices, every day, for the majority of the time. I vividly remember that in order to spend time with my mother, I had to write a note asking for her to pick a time slot to hang out and sign off on it. She would then show up at the allotted time and we would do whatever the activity was, and then she’d go back to the other room and I would once again be left alone. Even being homeschooled, I was alone. She taught me skeletons of workbooks and I figured the rest out myself. I learned once again that even when I needed guidance, I was expected to be an adult and figure it out, and if I did, I was praised for competence. If I failed, I was disciplined accordingly. It was very apparent to me as a kid that I needed to be entirely self sustainable, in every way, if I wanted to stay alive and not be drowned in feeling unloved.

❌ “If a primary caregiver does not provide empathy and sympathy during moments of distress and fear, children will learn that aloofness and disregard of others feelings is normal behavior.”

- again, pretty straightforward but I digress

- Children need to be given support and love when they are having emotional episodes

- Children do not know how to emotionally regulate themsleves, they don’t know how to help themselves and they get overwhelmed just like adults when they’re scared and unable to understand what’s happening

- Primary caregivers who do not help set the foundation for how a child should positively navigate emotional disregulation set them up to fail

- Children will think that ignoring others pain is correct behavior, and that disregarding how they make others feel is okay as well

🍓 Personal experience:

My mom thought that beating my crying out of me would for some reason solve the issue. Instead of spanking me a few times to get the point across of the transgression, she would often “spank” (imo it was getting beat) me until whatever she was using broke, or until I stopped crying. Unfortunately this caused me to eventually just.. not cry. I learned very quickly that being emotional and showing emotional distress would not get me comfort and safety, and instead usually caused me to have more pain and to be ridiculed for being emotional. I was basically conditioned into emotional shutdowns, and rewarded for having them. I would get praised for being mature if I stopped crying or having emotional reactions to situations. So I did. I experienced a lot of sensory issues and trauma responses as a child, which caused a lot of meltdowns, and those were consistently met with lack of comfort and connection.

❌ “If a primary caregiver does not keep a child safe, children will learn that they should not prioritize their own safety.”

- this mostly fits in with risk taking behavior tbh

- Children learn self worth and value from adults; if that’s not important and/or disregarded, it’s never going to be a priority and will have to be forcibly learned later on in life

- Children learn that if their primary caregiver does not prioritize their safety, that means they can’t rely on them when they’re in pain, being abused by someone else, or even hurting themselves

- This leads to self destructive and risk taking behaviors; they don’t value their own safety, and they don’t value the safety of others because they were not taught that it’s important

🍓 Personal experience:

Touching back on my early childhood; I was definitely not kept safe and unfortunately I was not kept safe in my adoptive family either; I feel like for a long period of time, I genuinely did not think my safety was important (if I even knew what that meant) and therefore it didn’t matter what I did because if the people who said they loved me the most didn’t want to protect me, why should I try to protect myself? This led to a lot of drugs, self harm, a lot of klepto shit, getting into fights, a lot of sexual abuse, etc, all because I genuinely did not understand what safety was, or what it meant. I put other kids in dangerous situations often because I didn’t value their safety either. I thought no one did.

All in all, interactions with primary caregivers builds the foundation for how your brain builds it’s emotional house.

Unfortunately for people with AsPD, we had to build our own emotional foundation as kids and it was done very shittily bc we were little kids and not fucking architects.

Thank you for coming to yet another infodump abt this disorder lmao I hope it made literally any sense bc I’m writing this at 4am and I am very tired :)

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