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theirbbygirl · 3 years

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Second Lead Syndrome

Word Count: ~8.7k words

liked this? there’s more on my masterlist!

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Comedy, Female reader insert

Description: Y/n and Minho have been friends for more than 2 years now, but suddenly she begins to see herself as the mere second lead in Minho’s story. Will she be the rare second lead who gets her own happy ending?

Warnings: some crying, themes of unrequited love (if there’s anything that I missed don’t hesitated to let me know!)

I’d only ever encountered Second Lead Syndrome in the dramas I’d watched. Wanting the girl to end up with the second lead who was so obviously the better and healthier choice, but like every avid watcher of kdramas, it's more than likely for the main leads to end up with each other, that was just how it worked. What I never thought I’d encounter was seeing it happen before my own eyes and experience it firsthand.

Life was never supposed to be a kdrama. Life was supposed to be simple, a straight line, going from point A to B with no complications. But life never really went my way did it? It just had to throw in one variable, one man that had too much influence on my life.

I couldn’t remember the first time I met Minho. It was probably sometime in the first grade when his family first moved in next to mine. But alas, we were both too young to remember exactly what sparked our friendship. One day we were strangers and the next we had given our parents a near heart attack when we both went after a stray cat on the way back home (my mom’s words, not ours). From then my memories were filled with him, just us besties hanging out like anyone would with their best friend. First party, first mental breakdown, first drink, all with him. Soon enough we were in our final year of University, and ultimately, adults.

The Minho I knew was laid back, not too extroverted but not too introverted either. While I completely contrasted him, always anxious about something, wanting perfection to the T, and completely and utterly introverted. Our friendship, moving into University, sparked a lot of questions. You wouldn’t typically find the introverted straight-A student with the borderline badboy tsundere walking and laughing in the halls together, spending practically every waking moment together. But Minho didn’t care, and neither did I, so we moved through life pretty easily.

One of the few things we had in common was our love for cats, and when we both foudn out there was a cat cafe just a few minutes walk from our campus, you best bet we spent too much of our time and money there. Studying, hanging out, anything you could imagine. If we weren’t in one of our dorms, we were more than likely to be in the cat cafe.

Every day after class we’d go there and we’d complain about our least favorite professors and how lectures would seemingly last for longer than they should. Additionally, Minho had almost become akin to my own dormmate with how much time he spent in my dorm. He’d come in whenever he wished, stealing my frozen pizzas and sodas, using my Netflix account on my TV to watch weird National Geographic shows and make random comments like “that snake looks just like Kim Seungmin,” or “look its Hannie” whenever a squirrel came on screen. Minho was always there when I needed a drinking partner after bombing a test or assignment, pouring me shots of soju until I passed out and bringing me to my bed and tucking me in whiel he would sleep on the couch to make sure I wouldn’t do anything stupid in the middle of the night.

Although, more people knew Minho’s name than mine, but that didn’t bother any of us. We continued on being friends as usual, and it felt like nothing would change that. Life was moving in a straight line like it should’ve always been.

At least, that’s what it felt like until February, just a few months before we graduated.

I make my way to our usual spot in the courtyard after buying an iced coffee and a snickers bar from the vending machine next to my classroom, I walk up behind Minho sitting on a bench when I find him staring out in front of him instead of looking at cat videos on his phone like he usually does. Slowing my walk, I trail my eyes to the vague direction he’s facing and see that he’s looking at Kim Seungmin and a girl chatting outside the classroom. I ignore the thought, opting to think that Minho must’ve spaced out thinking about how he would irritate Seungmin next class. I plop down next to him when he still doesn’t take note of my arrival, so I get right next to his ear and blow cold air into it, snickering when he jolts in surprise.

“What was that for?” He whines, fake annoyed.

“You got lost up in your thoughts for a certain Kim Seungmin there.” I snicker some more, opening my snickers (hehe) bar.

Just as I’m about to take the first bite of the sugary goodness, the chocolate bar gets snatched out of my hands and a certain Lee Minho takes an obnoxious bite out of it, not even giving it back but eating it like it was his. I pout, watching him devour my snack, knowing that I couldn’t do anything to get it back.

“For your information, I was not thinking about Kim Seungmin.” He says pointedly, slightly muffled by the chocolate in his mouth.

I sigh, knowing I wasn’t going to get that chocolate bar back any time soon, and open my iced coffee. “So what were you thinking about then?” I ask before taking a sip.

“Don’t know, spaced out.” Is all the answer I get and I highly doubt him, but I brush it off anyways and don’t pry.

Minho and I slide into our usual conversation about assignments, plans for the week, and everything under the sun. We talk about how he’s planning to visit home the next day and stay for a weekend and how excited he is to see his cats after a long time, I unknowingly smile at his ramble about how talkative Dori is, and just sit back and listen. I never took into account how healing it was to just watch and listen to him talk, the sultry of his voice and his little exclamations of frustration or excitement that came once in a while. I had to catch myself from staring when he turned to look at me, having asked me a question I didn’t catch.

“Sorry what was that?” I ask.

“Am I that beautiful for you to have lost your hearing to my handsome face?” I couldn’t just tell him that that was basically what had happened, it would inflate his ego by too much and reveal everything I’d hidden thus far.

“The heck? No, I was thinking about how great it would be to get some peace and quiet while you’re not around this weekend.” I lie, having Minho around is the only thing that brings me entertainment that isn’t endless sappy kdramas on my laptop, but he can never know that.

Minho scoffs, says something under his breath that I don’t quite catch, then turns back to me. “You love me.” He says with a pout.

“Unfortunately I do.”

That was the first of many inconspicuous confessions.

It was nearing 3 or 4 am and I was about halfway done with another kdrama when several knocks resound through the small living space. Knowing exactly who it is, I only shout back “you know the code!” and moments later the door opens.

I don’t bother to get up and greet Minho, this exact scene has happened too many times for either of us to care at this point, and it doesn’t surprise me that the moment he enters he shouts, “Honey I’m home!” like we’re in some cheesy romcom.

“Mhmm, welcome home, leech.” I enunciate the last word purposely, but I know he won’t bat an eye at the term. I continue to chew my popcorn while he wanders through my cabinets, looking for snacks. “There’s chips in the cabinet next to the fridge and sprite in there too. If you want more food order Chinese takeout.”

“I don’t have my wallet.” I can practically hear his pout from where I sat, eyes unmoving from the TV screen.

“You know where mine is, but you have to pay me back.” A few seconds pass with no response until suddenly he’s next to me and kissing my cheek.

“I loveeee you!” He says too sweetly, retreating back to the mini-kitchen to order takeout.

“Mhmm, I love you too.” I say, not loud enough for him to hear the confidence missing from my tone.

Continuing to watch the episode of in front of me, I remain in my comfortable position, only moving to lift my legs when Minho comes back to sit on the couch under my legs and the blanket.

“Oh you’re watching this one?” He asks, reaching into the bowl of popcorn I offer him.

“Yeah, didn’t have anything else to watch so I put it on since everyone seems to like it so much.”

“Mm,” he hums while also indulging himself into the scenes playing in front of him. “You’re probably team potato guy, right?”

“What kind of question is that? Of course I am!” I scoff.

“I don’t know, I still think she should end up with Jae-eon.”

“Are you crazy? He literally leads her on like every playboy and is ruining her mentality by not defining their relationship.”

“Yeah, but they’re so cute together, and you can totally tell he feels something for her.” He argues.

“Just cause they’re cute together doesn’t mean they’re good for each other, the entire guy is a walking red flag, I don’t understand why she doesn’t just walk away when she’s had experience with a shit boyfriend.” I sigh.

“You, have major second lead syndrome.” He points an accusing finger at me.

“So what? It’s for good reason, the main lead is toxic as fuck and you can’t change my mind.” I upturn my nose, turning back to the TV and continuing to watch the episode.

The mentioning of the second lead sends a flurry of thoughts into my brain for a reason I can’t comprehend. Sometimes the main leads aren’t that bad but still we want the main character to end up with the second lead, maybe out of our own natural selfishness because we prefer the second lead more. I shake the thoughts away, trying to convince myself that kdramas were only works of fiction and too cheesy to be real, yet for whatever reason I always felt a connection with the second leads, like our emotions directed to our crushes were the same, because I knew that I would always be the second lead in Minho’s story.

Minho’s name was always called out more times than mine was growing up, which I didn’t really mind until our hangout time would be seriously cut down because he had to hang out with other friends. Don’t get me wrong, I loved that he had friends, but there was a little bit of selfishness in me that wanted him to myself.

A new drama and a few episodes later, plus Chinese takeout, lead to our eventual demise. We both fall asleep on the couch in less than comfortable positions and wake up with stiff-neck, us groaning at the pain.

We continue on with our usual morning routines, taking turns freshening up in the bathroom before heading out for breakfast at Paws and Pastries since we were both too lazy to make food ourselves. Besides, hot coffee in the morning plus good sandwiches AND cats? What more could you ask for?

When we enter the cat cafe I notice a familiar face behind the cashier, it was the same girl Seungmin was talking to on Friday, and the same girl I caught Minho staring at. We walk up to the cashier, I order my food first, a simple breakfast sandwich with a coffee to go with it and wait next to Minho to finish ordering.

I made the mistake up glancing up at his face as he was telling his order to her, Ahra, her name tag read. There was something in his eyes that glinted that I had never seen before, not when he talked to Han and not when he talked to me. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of emotion in the middle of my chest before forcing myself to look back down, inserting my card and paying for everything. I sent the girl a thank you and a kind smile after she told us our food would be right over, and both me and Minho went over to our usual table in the back corner next to the cat’s jungle gym and right up next to the window. I get lost in my thoughts while we begin playing with the cats we were so accustomed to.

Like most second leads, I knew exactly what my feelings were. I was practically an adult, how could I miss the fast beating of my heart or my clammy hands whenever I was around him? But again, like most second leads, I knew I’d never get a chance with him, not when everything we did together was purely platonic. It was painfully obvious that I’d be stuck with an unrequited love for who knows how long, and I couldn’t just detach myself from him all of a sudden to get over my feelings because a) he’d notice and force me to tell him what was wrong, ultimately leading me to tell him that I had feelings for him, and b) the moment I would come back or see him for even just a second I know I would develop those feelings all over again. Neither of which were choices I was willing to take so I suck it up and see him every day, ignoring everything my heart was telling me.

I look up from the cat that I’m petting in my lap and look at Minho again, only to find him staring at Ahra who was taking people’s orders with a perfect pearly smile. It was in that moment that I knew, I had just found the female lead of Minho’s story.

3 weeks go by in a similar manner. Minho and I see Ahra around campus a few times and with some twisted fate, she’s on the clock every time we go to Paws and Pastries. Minho, being his smooth self, easily gets himself acquainted with her. They laugh and giggle so naturally and can slip into conversation so easily I’m almost envious of Minho and his non-introverted self.

Not being one to try and stop fate, I watch it all happen. Telling Minho to ask her out already and teasing him about how lovesick he gets when he sees her nearby or at the cafe. I know Minho likes her when he blushes or gets defensive whenever I mention her in our conversations even though he’s never explicitly told me himself. I put on a face in front of him whenever these conversations come up, not wanting to get in the way of his happiness.

One day some of our friends want to meet up outside of campus, we make plans to meet up at a bowling alley, ready to have fun until the late evening hours. Seungmin brought Ahra along with him, asking if it was okay to invite her since they were friends. Everyone agrees and we all meet up as planned. When everyone gets there, including Seungmin and Ahra, we introduce ourselves, Minho not having to introduce himself and easily speaking with her like they always did whenever running into each other. All the the boys have raised brows and mischievous smiles as they watch the interaction between the two, but only one looks at me in concern.

A majority of the night passes by with laughter and teasing, how Chan was terrible at bowling this night and Minho easily beating him despite never doing too well on our previous adventures to the bowling alley. I spend the night with the rest of the boys, while Minho and Ahra spend time getting to know each other even more. There’s a point in the evening where I see Minho hold out his phone to Ahra to exchange numbers, I can hear her giggle when they take a selfie together, probably for her profile picture. I have to turn my head away quickly to ignore the cracking of my own heart when Minho puts his arm on the couch behind Ahra, he does it so naturally, yet he’s never done it with me. I will my thoughts to focus on the game and not on Minho, not noticing the same pair of concerned eyes until they speak up.

“Are you alright?” Hyunjin asks.

“Hm? Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?” My voice cracks halfway through and I try to hide my sad eyes, even though I was fully aware that Hyunjin had probably noticed that something was up.

“‘Cause you seem pretty affected by that scene over there.” He motions to Minho and Ahra with a nod of his head.

“It’s nothing, Hyun, just nice seeing Minho talking to more people.”

“Y/n, you know he talks to people all the time, and you’re not nearly as affected then as you are now.”

“Hyunjin, really, it’s fine.” I try to convince him but he says something that lets me know that he knows.

“You like Minho.”

“What? No that’s absurd I-“ He looks at me pointedly, and I sigh in defeat. “Yeah, okay, you got me.”

“Why don’t you say anything? Clearly it hurts you to see him like that.” He refers to Minho getting cozy with her.

“Hyunjin, it’s clear that everything we have is platonic, he even called me his sister several times. And who am I to get in the way of him getting into a relationship? That’s not my place to say anything, especially when his last girlfriend was 2 years ago.”

“I get that, but shouldn’t he at least deserve to know? He says that he knows everything about you, but there’s one thing that he doesn't. You know practically everything about him, isn’t it a little unfair?”

“We have choices as to what we share with each other and what we don’t, it’s his choice to tell me what he wants to and my choice to tell him what I want to tell him. Besides, he hasn’t even told me that he has a crush on Ahra yet.”

“So maybe he doesn’t then.”

“Hyunjin, just look at him, he’s a puppy in love.” I glance back over to Minho and Ahra sitting parallel to us. Minho is smiling brightly, more brightly than I had seen in a while and I can’t help but let my lips upturn at the corners just slightly in another sad smile.

Hyunjin sighs next to me, and I look back to him. “I’m sorry y/n, I really wish he would end up with you instead of her, it doesn’t seem fair to you.”

“Hey, don’t say that, Ahra seems like a nice girl, she and Minho will get along great. And nothing in life is fair Hyunjin, that’s just something you come to accept.” I say, getting up. “I’m gonna get some drinks, does anyone want anything?” I ask everyone.

“Cola!” “Me too!” “Me three!” “A lemonade please.” A few of the boys shout back.

“Anything for you guys?” I turn to Minho and Ahra. They both shake their heads. “Okay then, I’ll be back in a minute guys.” I smile at the group before going to get the drinks.

While walking away from the group I let a teardrop fall from my eye, wiping it away just before I order.

Life’s unfair, that’s just something I have to accept.

A week goes by and Minho’s talking about how he and Ahra message often, how he thinks they get along well and he’s gonna ask her out.

Another week goes by and they’ve gone on their first date, he takes her to the beach and they have a picnic.

Two weeks after that they’ve gone on several dates and are officially boyfriend and girlfriend, I don’t even find out separately at this point, I find out with the rest of the group over dinner.

A few days after that Minho calls off one of our late night binge watching sessions, texting me an apology and that Ahra needs him. I tell him it’s okay and to send my regards to her.

It’s a week and half after and Minho regularly calls off our meetups at the cafe after school or at one another’s dorms to tend to Ahra. I tell him it’s fine each time and to not feel bad. He did the same today, and I sit alone at our usual table, mindlessly petting a cat in my lap while zoning out into in my mug of coffee.

All while this happens, I watch, and I let it happen. I don’t fight for him because it didn’t feel right, sometimes second leads let their love fall for someone else, and that’s all it felt like I could do.

Fighting for Minho felt selfish, especially when I knew I had no chance and he’d already fallen for Ahra. I couldn’t suddenly come out of the blue and tell him “hey, I have feelings for you,” when he’s already dating Ahra, I’d look like a major asshole if I did. All I could do was watch and see how we begun to drift farther and farther apart.

With Minho being absent more often, I don’t get to tell him much. Like the internship offer I got to continue pursuing graphic design in Itaewon. I got the email almost a week ago, and I had two more weeks to decide if I was going to take the offer. With nobody to consult about it with I continue to push it to the back of my mind, not wanting to deal with more stress just yet.

Just as I’m taking another sip of my coffee a familiar head of long blonde hair enters the cafe. My head tilts to the side in confusion as he scans the room for someone when he meets eyes with me, he makes his way over and sits in the seat in front of me and doesn’t say anything.

“You’re rarely on this side of town, why are you here?” I ask Hyunjin first.

“I heard something from Ms. Kim in our art class and needed to know if it was true.” He says seriously.

“What…” I feel like I know what he’s going to say, but I ask anyways. “What did you hear?”

“That you were offered an internship in Itaewon.”

“Hyunjin I-“

“Is it really true? She said you had two more weeks to decide, how come you haven’t told anybody? Does Minho know? Are you gonna leave? What about-” He begins to spurt out question after question and it’s almost too much for me to handle.

“Hyunjin!” I raise my voice just slightly to get him to stop but I have to turn it down again when the volume of my voice makes a few of the other customers’ heads turn. “Calm down, yes it’s true, yes I have two more weeks to decide if I’m going or not, I didn’t know how I would tell any of you, no, Minho doesn’t know and I don’t plan on telling him.”

“Are you… Are you gonna take the offer?” He asks slowly.

I prop my elbows onto the table as the cat leaves my lap and my head drops into my hands as I sigh in exasperation. “I don’t know.” Tears are gathering in my eyes as I think about it.

“Y/n, have you thought about the offer at all?”

“Yes and no.” I don’t need to lift my head to sense Hyunjin’s confusion. “It’s hard to think about it when you’re watching your crush of 2 years date someone else while you’re also trying to finish up your senior year. But it’s also all I can think about when I’m alone, which I find myself a lot, thinking about having to find a place to live in Itaewon and transfer and mentally prepare to leave you all here, but if I don’t take it then it’ll be even harder to find an offer like this. It’s all I can think about and also something that I can’t bring myself to think about, Hyunjin.” I lift my head and my teary eyes meet his own.

“Y/n…” His voice breaks saying my name.

“I think I’m going to take it.” I pause. “Once I finish all of my final assignments the only thing I have left to really worry about is graduating and finding a job, and I don’t think I can take watching Minho and Ahra anymore Hyun, I don’t think I can stomach it. I’m happy for them, I truly am, but it’s also affecting me and I don’t think I should ignore that anymore. If I’m in Itaewon I have a job and I won’t have to worry about feelings anymore, two birds with one stone.”

I see the hesitancy in Hyunjin’s facial expressions before he speaks. “If that’s what you think you should do, then I’ll support you all the way. But shouldn’t you tell Minho about this?”

“I’m not, because if I do, Minho is gonna find some way to get me to stay and I’ll crumble and stay because he affects me the most.” Hyunjin merely nods in response. “Hyunjin, you are the only one that can know about this, okay? I can’t have everyone else know this, especially Minho, okay?”

Hesitation again, and then, “Okay.”

Hyunjin keeps his promise, he keeps the secret of me leaving from everyone. Even as graduation inches closer and our group begins to talk more about job searching, what comes next, and similar topics, the two of us keep it a secret. Whenever they asked me what I was thinking of doing next I always just told them “oh probably looking for internships nearby,” and no more questions are asked.

Minho and Ahra were still very much in love, even more than before, if the growing absence of Minho’s presence was anything to go by. I barely saw Minho anymore, maybe catching him at the end of the hall every once in awhile, but he was always walking with Ahra so all I could say was “hello” and “goodbye.”

Each goodbye begun to hold more and more weight as the days passed. Even the short ones I would tell Minho after passing him in the halls. I couldn’t even conjure how I would tell everyone, maybe send a letter to each of their places? A text message? Tell them after the graduation ceremony just before I left for the train station? I thought about how I would say goodbye as I begun to pack up my dorm. Graduation was nearing, I had already turned in all of my final assignments, and all there was left was to pack. I would leave after the ceremony ended, sometime in the afternoon. I wouldn’t even get the chance to properly celebrate being graduates with my friends because I was leaving in the afternoon. I’d get situated in my new apartment in Itaewon and get accustomed to new life outside of Gimpo.

The thought of leaving panged my heart harshly, I had never left Gimpo permanently before. Sure, I had gone on trips to the US and Singapore and Seoul before, but I had never moved from Gimpo. I was born and raised in Gimpo, met Minho and all of our friends here, so the thought of moving for the first time did something to my heart. I attended all of our group hangouts with a nostalgic mindset, remembering the first time we all met, when we all got wasted one time on a Friday night after some big exam week. I look around our table of friends and think about how much I’ll miss all of this when I leave for Itaewon.

Another thing that panged my heart, Minho and I distancing. I knew it was coming, Minho and I didn’t text or talk about hanging out anymore. He walked Ahra to her classes now, and had dates with her after class instead of meeting me at our cafe. Eventually I stopped getting apology messages, and stopped expecting him at the cafe anymore. I couldn’t blame him, Ahra was his girlfriend and I accepted that long ago. Instead I just played the supportive friend on the sidelines, and I’d continue to play that role for as long as I had to.

It came to be the night before we graduated, and all of us minus Minho and Ahra were sat around a table in one of the restaurants we frequented, it wasn’t too late in the evening, and we all just sat in silence after finishing our food with bottles and glasses of soju now sitting in front of us. A majority of our meal was full of reminiscing, talking about memories that crack everyone up and left smiles on our faces.

“So, we really graduate tomorrow, huh?” Changbin says when the table quiets down.

“Yeah, I guess we do.” Chan says quietly.

My eyes tear up and I begin to sniff without control, the weight of my department tomorrow weighing heavily on my shoulders. Hyunjin puts an arm around my shoulders and gives me a tissue, whispering “it’s okay, it’s okay” to me while I try to calm down.

Everyone looks at me in confusion before Chan speaks first. “Y/n are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just…” I trail off, not sure what to say.

“Do you want to tell them?” Hyunjin asks softly.

“Tell us what?” Seungmin says this time.

Hyunjin looks to me first before nodding, and I begin to spill my secret. “I got an internship offer.”

The table erupts in cheers and I get congratulations thrown back at me before I can even continue.

“But…” Immediately everyone silences and looks to me in expectation. “It’s in Itaewon.”

There’s a tense air that falls around us. “What?” Felix says in disbelief.

“You’re not leaving us, right Noona?” Jeongin asks from another part of the table.

I look to Jeongin with sad eyes, smiling sadly. “I leave tomorrow, after our graduation ceremony.” There’s some gasps around the table.

“What?! Y/n, why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Changbin blows up and Chan has to place a hand on his shoulder to restrain him.

“I didn’t want every time we met leading up to graduation to feel like a goodbye, Bin, I couldn’t handle that. So I kept it from you all so there wasn’t this tension every time we met.” I explained.

“Does Minho know?” Seungmin asks this time, and I shake my head.

“Y/n…” Han says worriedly.

“Guys, I know I’m not the only one that’s noticed that me and Minho aren’t that close anymore, so I haven’t really gotten the chance to tell him. But I told Hyunjin this a long time ago, that I wouldn’t tell Minho specifically, because there’s some things that I need to figure out and if I told him he’d find some way to keep me from going, or even worse, follow me. At least with Ahra by his side he won’t follow me to Itaewon.” There’s nods all around the table, understanding where I’m coming from.

“We’re gonna miss you a lot.” Felix sniffs and I coo, getting up from my seat to wrap my arms around him from behind.

“I’m gonna miss you all too.” I sniff with him, a few tears escaping my eyes.

Chan comes to join our hug, then Han, then Jeongin, and soon enough everyone has joined the group hug with me in the middle. All of us are crying, and I had never felt more loved than that moment.

Eventually we break away from the hug and return to our seats, everyone dabbing at their eyes with tissues and sniffing.

“Let’s all stop crying, tonight is a night to celebrate, all of us graduate tomorrow, and our dear Y/n got an internship offer in a big city!” Han holds up a drink and we all do the same, cheering and clinking our glasses together and celebrating the night away.

The next morning I get ready for graduation early, putting on my makeup and doing my hair, and sending a message.

to: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

hey, can you meet me at p&p in thirty?

My heart picks up the pace as I send the message, I didn’t expect him to answer so quickly yet his message pings my phone within 2 minutes.

from: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

sure, i can be there

to: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

sweet, i’ll see you there

I turn my phone off and take a deep breath, we still had a few hours before we had to be at the school for our graduation ceremony, I’d have to leave just a few minutes after the ceremony ended which wouldn’t give me enough time to tell Minho, so, I made the painful decision the night before to tell him in the morning. I’d do it in our favorite spot in the corner of our favorite cat cafe, tell him the news slowly and hope that he takes it well.

I leave my house and 15 minutes later I’m in our usual booth, my coffee order sitting in front of me and the cats all wandering around as there weren’t too many people since it was relatively early in the morning. I already bought Minho his typical Iced Americano and it sat in front of me, awaiting it’s owner.

10 minutes later Minho arrives and makes his way to the table, sitting in front of me, smiling, unknowing of what’s about to happen.

“Hey.” I smile at him.

“Hey you.” He smiles back brightly. “Sorry I couldn’t see you guys last night, I took Ahra out for dinner last night on a date.”

“It’s completely alright, how are you guys?”

“Pretty good, things are going okay right now.” He answers.

“That’s good.” Nervously I take a sip of my macchiato in front of me, my leg bouncing in anxiety.

“Y/n? Is everything alright? Your leg’s bouncing pretty fast right now.” Curse Minho and the fact that he knows so much about me, he reaches out for my wrist and checks my pulse, quickly noticing how fast it’s beating as his brows furrow in confusion.

“Minho, there’s something I need to tell you.” I say, retracting my wrist from his grip. He doesn’t answer me but instead tilts his head like a cat does when it looks at its owner questionably. “I’m leaving.”

“What?” He asks.

How could one look so endearing, head tilted and eyes full of emotion as I break the news to him? I ask myself. “I got an internship offer for a company in Itaewon, I accepted it and I’m leaving for Itaewon, today.”

“You’re leaving today?” He says in disbelief, sounding out of breath.

I nod and continue. “After the graduation today I have to catch my bus. I didn’t have any other time to tell you so I had to tell you now.”

“You’re… You’re just telling me now? Do the others know about this?”

“I only told them last night.”

“You couldn’t have thought of telling me sooner?” He starts to get angry.

“Minho I-“

“What happened to telling me everything, huh? What happened to when we used to know everything about each other?”

“Minho, those days are long behind us, you have bigger priorities now, like putting your focus on your girlfriend, Minho. I couldn’t tell you because I knew you’d do something rash, and I didn’t even tell the others until last night because I knew every time we’d see each other it would be like preparing for the day I leave. You and Ahra have something so great going on for the two of you right now and telling you that I was leaving would take you away from that, and I can’t do that to you or her. Ahra is an amazing girl, and you have her now.”

“Will you at least visit?” His eyes are full of tears, some of the first I’ve seen in years and I hate that I’m the cause of it.

“I don’t know yet, there’s some things I need to figure out myself first, before I can visit. But at some point maybe I will, when I’ve figured things out I’ll try visiting from time to time.” I offer him a sad smile.

After a few moments of silence I get up from my seat.

“We still have a graduation left, Min, I’ll still see you then.” I ruffle his hair and walk out of the cafe, no more secrets but one weighing down on my chest.

The Graduation ceremony passes by in a blur. One moment we were listening to the speeches of each of the professors and the next we were tossing our caps into the air, cheering as we became alumni of our university.

Our friend group met up in the front of the school, taking pictures with our parents and congratulating each other. Eventually, the time comes and I have to go.

Our group stands in a circle, unmoving, as we all look at each other.

“I’m gonna miss all of you so much.” I say in tears as my voice breaks.

“We’re gonna miss you too, Y/n.” Hyunjin says. At his words everyone gathers into a group hug full of tears and the weight of a goodbye on our shoulders.

“You better promise to visit us, okay?” Felix holds me by the shoulders and makes a point to look me in the eye. Not trusting my voice, I nod and he brings me into one more hug.

I hug each of them individually, saying a few words, before I reach the last person.

I hug Minho and look into his eyes for the last time for a while.

“I’ll miss you.” He whispers.

“Me too.” And that’s all I can say.

I leave the campus for the last time, hopping in my car to head to the station and start anew.

Second leads always leave in the end, they leave and let the two main leads have a happy ending. That’s what it felt like I was doing, and I couldn’t tell if I was content with my choice or not.

Two and a half months in Itaewon passes quickly.

The move into my new apartment was smooth, and it was odd to be in a bigger space than a small dorm room. It felt like I had more space than I knew what to do with.

My internship was moving along smoothly as well, everyone I had met so far were really kind and taught me a lot. I was worried about feeling out of place but I had met a few other girls not much older than me who helped me feel at home.

Being alone in a big city was unnerving, but what made it so much more comfortable was the addition of a cat that my parents had bought me as my graduation gift. She was a chartreux cat who I named Luna because I had always dreamed of naming my first cat that. My parents covered most of the costs of basic things like cat toys, a scratch post, her bed, and similar things. I thanked my parents endlessly when they came over to my apartment a week after I had moved in and gave me Luna. I wasn’t gone for too long during the day and always left food for her, she was great company when I came home and worked on projects late into the evening, curling up into my lap like the cats at the old cafe used to. She was my best friend in a city I was still getting accustomed to.

I hadn’t talked to the guys much, I’d talked with them a few times in the group chat about how their job searches were going and trips they were planning to take soon. It was nice talking with them every so often but all of us were still pretty busy moving onto the next chapter of our lives.

I hadn’t talked to Minho since I left, I’d assumed that he and Ahra were doing well, but that’s all that was, assumption. None of the boys talked about him and I couldn’t understand why, but I never asked since I was supposed to be moving on from my feelings in the first place. I thought I had been doing pretty well until something would come up that reminded me of him, like his favorite song would play in the cafe I bought my morning coffee in and spent my breaks at, or snapchat would send me “Today, 1 year ago” memories of him and me fooling around at Paws and Pastries. Whenever that would happen I’d be sent back to square one, and it felt like I’d never move on from Minho.

I was on my way out to grab a coffee and spend my off day walking around, maybe looking into a few shops when I got a call from Hyunjin.

“Y/n! My favorite girl, how are you?”

“Hyunjin? What’s with the call?”

“What? Can I not call my friends from time to time?”

“Not when you’re notorious for calling your ‘friends’ after you’ve done something wrong.” I sigh.

“That was one time! Besides, it wasn’t that bad.”

“You dragged Jeongin to a party! And got him wasted!”

“One. Time. Y/n. It was one time.”

“One time is enough for you to be in trouble for life, Hyun.”

“Okay, whatever, but I was meaning to ask you, what’re your plans for today?”

“Me? I was just planning to go out, today’s my day off so I was gonna visit this one cafe and see some shops, why?”

“No reason, what time do you think you’ll be home?”

“Maybe five?”

“Great, okay, I have to go now, Han’s calling me, bye!” Hyunjin hangs up before I can ask him what’s with the weird questions.

“Hyunjin- Oh great he hung up.” I put my phone in my pocket before looking down at Luna who’s stretching near my legs. “Your uncle Hyunjin is quite the odd one, isn’t he Luna, hm?” I ask her and she meows back in response. “Weird indeed, but that’s just how he is. Mommy’s gonna spend her day out and then she’ll come home and we can watch the TV together, okay? I’ll be home soon.” I pick up Luna and set her on her little bed before ensuring everything is safe and make my way out the door.

I spend the day eating at a large cat cafe that actually had an assortment of books with little reading areas while the cats roamed around everywhere. It was much bigger than the cafe in Gimpo, but I would always correlate that one with home.

After I spent a bit of time reading there I went out and explored the shops for a few hours, bought some new jeans and a few blouses plus some makeup things. I got Subway for lunch and explored just a little bit more before heading home. Instead of going straight home, I decided to take the long way, going through the streets not minding the extra weight the few shopping bags I was holding in my hands gave me. The sun was just barely beginning to set as I walked into my apartment complex, getting into the elevator and pressing the button for my floor.

I walk down the hallway to my door and am surprised when a familiar figure greets me there.

“Minho?” I say as I walk closer.

“Y/n!” He says happily, bringing me into a hug.

“What are you doing here? Actually- Wait- Don’t answer that, do you wanna come inside?” I ask him.

“Sure.” He responds.

I unlock the door and bring my bags in, setting them by the door. “Luna! Mommy’s home!” I call out automatically.

Luna meows and comes out of the bedroom, walking her way up to me before I pick her up.

“You got a cat?” Minho asks.

“Yeah, parents brought her to me about a week after I moved in.” I put Luna back down and she moves to sit on the arm of the couch, her favorite spot to sit when the sun goes down.

“And you named her Luna,” He smiles fondly. “You always wanted to name your cat Luna.”

“I’m surprised you remember that.” I chuckle. “Do you want some coffee?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll get that brewing, just give me a few minutes, you can take a seat on the couch and make yourself at home!” I tell him as I quickly retreat to the kitchen.

I have to take a few breaths when I’m far away enough from Minho, my heart beating just as fast as it would when I was around him back then. It was clear I hadn’t moved on at all.

I brew the coffee as promised and wait next to the coffee machine with two mugs ready. A voice chimes in behind me.

“Your place is much bigger than the dorms.” He chuckles.

“Tell me about it, it was so weird buying more furniture than I was used to.” I laugh with him.

The machine finishes brewing the coffee and I pour it into the two mugs, putting it on a tray with creamer and sugar before bringing it all to the coffee table in front of the couch.

Minho and I take seats on the couch, separated by a bit of space between us while we sip on our respective mugs.

“So,” I start the conversation. “How’s home?”

“Not too bad, same old same old, the guys being annoying as usual, you know?” He says.

“Sounds fun.” I chuckle. “And work, have you found anything yet?”

“Not yet, I’ve got a few applications out, but I’m still waiting on some answers.”

“I’m sure you’ll get them soon.” I respond.

An uncomfortable silence sets over the both of us, and I run my free hand through Luna’s fur who’s situated herself in my lap this time. I take a long sip of my coffee before asking another question.

“How’s… How are you and Ahra?”

“Oh…” He trails off. “We broke up a few weeks ago.”

“I’m sorry to hear that…” I had no idea that he and Ahra had broken up, in fact that was the completely opposite of what I thought had happened since they seemed to work together so well.

“Yeah, it was a mutual thing. We didn’t really feel that kind of connection anymore, you know? So we just, broke it off.”

“Are you okay?” I ask Minho.

“Me? Yeah, I’m actually not as affected as I thought I’d be, I don’t know if that makes me a cruel person or not but I was only sad for the first week or two. Nothing too bad.”

“I see.” Another silence settles between us. This one is longer, more tense, there was something Minho wanted to ask but he wasn’t sure, and I couldn’t depict what question he was going to ask.

“Actually, I came her for a reason.” He says.

“And what reason is that?” I ask hesitantly.

“For answers.” My brows furrow, answers for what? “There’s something Hyunjin told me recently and it got me thinking, and I wanted to hear it from you if it was true.”

I finish my coffee and place it down delicately on the coffee table, trying not to show how nervous I was with how badly my hands were shaking. “I’ll see if I have answers for you then.”

“When you told me you were leaving, you said you had some, things, to figure out on your own. What was it that you had to figure out?”

I take a moment to decide exactly how I was going to answer his question. Did I want to expose my feelings to him just yet? “Just, feelings.” I say vaguely.

“For?”

“Just feelings for somebody.”

“Is it Hyunjin?”

“No.”

“Chan?”

“Nope.”

“Changbin?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Me?”

I pause for just a half second, and apparently that was all Minho needed. “I guess Hyunjin’s big mouth was right after all.”

“Wait- What? What are you talking about?”

Minho takes a long sip of his coffee before finishing letting out a sigh after swallowing, he slowly sets the mug on the table before making direct eye contact with me and silently killing me with the suspense. “Minho please just say something you’re killing me here.”

He only chuckles in response. “Hyunjin told me not too long ago that you took up the offer to work here because you were going to sort out your feelings, for me.” He says sweetly as I suck in a breath at his last words.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Minho-“

“Now now, Y/n, we shouldn’t hide things from each other anymore, should we?” His sweet, sultry voice was affecting me greatly as he leaned closer to me on the couch. I gulp and silently curse when Luna, the only thing keeping me sane, leaves the comfort of my lap for her scratch-post.

“Minho…” I let out quietly.

“Tell me, Kitten, is it true?” He asks once again.

“I-“ My voice catches in my throat when Minho leans in ever nearer, still making direct eye-contact with me. “Yes, it is.” I sigh out and Minho backs away.

“He was right.” Minho whispers while my gaze drops to my hands that I fiddle with in my lap at the secret that’s let out. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sorry.” I whisper.

“Why are you sorry darling?” He asks softly and uses his thumb and forefinger to tilt my head up by my chin.

“I couldn’t tell you because I knew you didn’t feel the same, and then when you got together with Ahra we drifted apart because it hurt me to see you with her. Then I left and told you about me leaving so last minute. I made you cry, Minho, and I hate that I did. But I couldn’t see any other way out of it. I hurt you because I was cowardly and didn’t want to be selfish by telling you and having your attention move off of Ahra, when I was really being selfish by not telling you and hurting you in the end.” More tears escape my eyes as we look at each other.

“Princess, no…” He cups my face with his hands and uses his thumbs to wipe away my tears. “I’ll admit, it did hurt when you told me that you were leaving the day of, but I understood where you were coming from. Because you were right, I would have done something crazy to keep you by my side. Do you know why?” He asks, and I shake my head, still crying. “Because I need you by my side, kitten, even when I was dating Ahra I felt off but just didn’t pay any mind to it because I had her. But now I know it’s because you and I were drifting apart, I found out when after you left and me and Ahra broke up because I felt empty. I couldn’t text you to just come over anymore because you’re farther away from me now. I lied earlier, I said that I sent out some applications for jobs but didn’t get any answers yet, right?” I nod. “I got offered a job as a software engineer, here, in Itaewon, and I said yes.”

“Why?” I whisper.

“Because I want to be near you, I need to be by your side Y/n, because I love you.” I let out a sob at his confession and he coos, bringing me to rest my head on his chest and rubbing his hands on my back and running them through my hair.

“I love you too.” I say after a few minutes.

Minho brings me out of his hold, and cups my face again. For the first time, he kisses me. His lips brush over mine before deepening the kiss, taking full charge of it yet somehow still being soft with me. His kisses were nothing short of addicting, and I knew I’d be in love with him for a long time.

In that moment, kissing the man of my dreams, I remember that it may be rare that a second lead gets their own happy ending, but it’s not unheard of. Sometimes the main lead and second lead do end up with their own happily ever after.

Notes from the author: I have FINALLY posted something y’all 😂 took a few months but she’s here, and she’s dishing out something at least. I don’t know how often I’ll be posting again, esp with school and whatnot, but I do know I need to drain out my drafts because phew, it’s getting a little full in there.

But anyways, I hope you enjoyed this fic! I’m pretty sure it’s one of the longest I’ve written if not the longest. Hopefully it wasn’t too bad, I’m probably a little rusty but we can fix that (i think)

if you want more I still have my old stuff up on my masterlist on my account! hope to see you around :))

-nyx

#skz ff #skz fluff #skz fanfic #skz fanfiction #stray kids fanfiction #minho fluff #skz minho fluff #skz angst #yOU KNOW I KNOW LEE KNOW #skz lee know #lee know #lee know x y/n #tags are annoying sigh #lee minho fanfiction #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fic #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst

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lunerbean · 3 years

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Witch Tips 24

Holy shit it's been over a year since I posted one of these but it's because I kept setting myself up for failure by putting way too high of expectations on myself to crank out 10 new and unique and helpful tips everytime I got 100 new followers except first it was 10 and then it was 50 and holy shit I got so stressed about these so I've just been writing them down as I've thought of them instead and now here we are, please be gentle.

Hello here are tips

1. Use transfer paper and a hair dryer to decorate candles.

Maybe you're doing a spell for someone & you want to put a picture of that person on the candle. This can be a way to help you better visualize the effects of the spell on the person the spell is for. Or maybe you need a picture on the candle for some other reason. Maybe you want to put pictures of coins on it for a money spell. Or hearts for a love spell. Simply print out whatever you want on transfer paper, cut it out & place the image face-down on the candle. Then, you'll want to get your hairdryer and a piece of tissue paper (I highly suggest the tissue paper is the same color as the candle, otherwise you risk getting that color onto the candle. Which can also be fine, but if it's not what you want...) use the blow dryer on a low-warm setting to melt the photo onto the candle side. Remove the tissue paper and there you have it! A picture printed onto a candle.

2. You can incorporate witchcraft into ANYTHING... even brushing your teeth.

I recently got this fucking delicious toothpaste from Trader Joe's. I'm one of those people who sometimes struggles to brush my teeth twice a day because I hate the taste of toothpaste. So I got a super unconventional toothpaste flavor instead, "fennel, propolis, & Myrrh. And about a week after using it, it struck me -holy shit these ingredients have meaning behind them. Most obviously, myrrh is associated with wisdom and meditation. And fennel has been used in magic for centuries! Even if you use regular mint toothpaste, that ingredient has power behind it! Obviously this goes more so for natural toothpastes but I'm sure you can find a way to enchant other varieties as well! Use the ingredients already infused into your toothpaste for enchantments & glamours!

3. Actually study your grimoire.

If I sound at all harsh by saying this, it's only because I'm being harsh with myself too. Study your grimoire. Don't just write everything down & then expect to have it all perfectly memorized & be a master in everything you research. Reread it. Rework it. Learn.

4. Feel drawn to be a sea witch but you don't live by the ocean? Get a saltwater aquarium!

First off, I'm not saying that it's a flawless solution. Being a witch of the sea is more than just using salty fish water in your craft. HOWEVER, with that out of the way, there's no way that a salt water aquarium will harm your craft as a sea witch. Think of it like a houseplant for a green witch. Sure, living in the forest would be better but it's still something special to be able to bring a little piece of your craft into your home.

5. Personal taglocks make a spell more powerful, but exercise caution when using them.

Undoubtedly, using a taglock (such as a strand of hair) can better connect you to the spells you're performing, but they're not always wise to use. I only use them in extremely personal spells and crafts. Things that no one except for me can have access to. I would never suggest using a taglock on something that you wish to give another person (especially another witch) such as a spell bottle or sachet. Even if you're best friends. Even if you're siblings. Even if you're MARRIED. You never know when a relationship can turn south or what someone is capable of when they're extremely angry with you. Don't risk it.

6. Be respectful of the deities that you don't worship or work with

I don't work with deities. Shocker, I know. I have my own belief system when it comes to higher powers that I won't get into on Tumblr, probably ever. But I do believe in showing respect to all things, both living, dead, & otherwise specified. If a deity approaches you who you're not interested in working with, please remain kind & respectful with in declination. You're allowed to say no to anyone and everyone.

7. Just because someone is more experienced doesn't necessarily mean they're always right.

Without naming names or being too specific, there was a witch I followed on Tumblr for a long time. They were much older than me and had been a witch for like 20+ years. I followed everything they said as fact. But slowly, over time I started to learn more and realized I didn't always agree with them. They were SO negative. If they heard basically anything new that younger witches were coming up with, they'd have a whole 10 paragraph post about how "stupid and wrong and ridiculous and fake" these new witches were. There was not an ounce of open mindedness with this person. And because of that, I started to feel really bad about myself and my craft. Things they said would stick with me and I'd feel so shitty about it. Well fuck. That. More experience means absolutely nothing if the person is unwilling to learn or expand their minds beyond their previous knowledge. Anyone can learn and anyone can teach. Age means nothing. Surround yourself with open minded people.

8. Put full moon water into your humidifier to charge your space.

This is an idea that only just occurred to me while I was setting up my crystals & jar of water to charge under the full blue moon on Samhain. I always turn my glowing humidifier on at night while I sleep. As I watched the mist begin to arise out the top I thought to myself, 'if I'm charging that water (the glass jar on my altar) for the full moon, why not this water too?' So now, I just add a little splash of full moon water into my humidifier water whenever I'm performing rituals or doing spell work. This way, the full moon water can charge my entire bedroom with the power of the full moon as I work.

Speaking of...

9. You can charge water under more moon phases than just full.

I don't know if that wording was weird or not so I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense. My point is, I always see people talking about moon water as if it's only full moon water. The moon holds power in every phase she goes through. Adding to the above tip, you can put new moon water into your humidifier to cleanse your space. Waxing moon water to help you plan and focus. And waning moon water to assist during a banishment spell. Hell yeah dude, all phase of the moon are useful and powerful!

10. Incense matches are a great alternative to full incense sticks

I love burning incense, but sometimes it can really overwhelm the area, especially because my house is small & I dont want to expose my cat to it. Incense matches are literally matches that are covered in incense powder. They burn for just a few minutes & produce a steady stream of smoke for spells. They come in a bunch of different scents. I buy them locally for 30 matches for $1.05USD but you can probably find them cheaper online. Still be sure to keep them away from pets & those who are smoke-sensitive.

Thank you so much for reading, follow me for more #10tips, search my blog for the previous 230 tips, & have a magical day.

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primalsouls · 3 years

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white rabbit pt 5

langa hasegawa x gn! reader ( pt 1 - pt 2 - pt 3 - pt 4)

anon: ⬇️

⚠️ : none.... I think? please let me know if there's anything to trigger!

theme: general

note: and scene. *bows* lol anyway, the fin to the white rabbit 🤧 thank you all for all the love you gave towards to white rabbit! i really appreciate it very much and it means a lot to me, really! 💖🥰 but like many great series, this one came to an end. it leaves an empty hole in my heart. 💔 but fr, really thank you. :) for all the love and support. i cant get it out enough. it just makes me happy how many people loved this work. ❤

like always, thank you for reading, i hope you enjoy it and like it, let me know what you think. and sorry for any mistakes, no proofread lmao. love you! 💚🫂

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

A family would always be part of one's life. But does it had to be consistent of related blood? Or could it be just a person and their pet? Perhaps it could be a group of friends? Perhaps.

When family comes to mind, [Y/N] would be reminded of their father's neglect on them. Of a mother who abandoned them. Of their older brother wishing to do nothing with them but just get them out of the family. Of aunts who showed their "love" for them in a horrid way.

But now, when family comes to mind, they were reminded of a man and his adorable pet with pointy ears. Of a redhead who talks non-stop of skateboarding and his way of woodworking. Of a young boy who had a talent for talking to cats. Of a florist man who was a clown at night. Of an amazing chef and his good looks. Of a elegant man who had a love for his AI. And finally, of a young blue-haired boy who was silent yet talktive at the same time.

Who would had thought they would find another family that quick. It took time to open up, yes, but at a steady pace like they were learning skating once again was all they needed to build up trust and care for these people.

And even though they were banned from S, [Y/N] was not ban from skating and Langa made sure to bring that point to them. He thought they hated skating because of him but all they needed was a little time off before getting back on the board. Reki built them a customized skateboard that fitted their aesthetics. A street board decorated in black on top and white on bottom with red wheels. A cute white rabbit's head and its red eyes painted on the bottom largely like Langa's abominable snowman. Langa had asked Reki to make it and Reki didn't refuse. It was a surprise gift for [Y/N], Langa told him.

Ever since their friendship with Langa started on that day after weeks of leaving S, Langa stood by their side. He kept his promise. He never hurt them. If anything, his love for them grew. They went to the same school now. They ate lunch with the boys in the roof top. They skated together at the boys' usual hangout. And being kicked out of their old home, Reki's mother was happy to let them stayed until they earn enough money from working for Dope Sketch to live on their own place. It felt nice. The new changes. The environment was different from their old life with the Shindo Family. It was welcoming and lovely. No sense if hatred send towards their way. They liked it.

"Good morning, Reki and [N/N]!" Langa said, smiling a little when he saw Reki and [Y/N] skated down the sidewalk to the pole where Langa stood. Reki grinned and greeted his best friend, high-fiving each other.

"Morning, Langa!" Reki said brightly, getting off his skateboard. When [Y/N] catched up, Langa walked up to them.

"Mornin'..." [Y/N] greeted softly. They still weren't used to the presence of Langa and Reki and their personalities despite being friends with them for a few months now. They never had friends before. Kids they met during their childhood bullied them. Their brother never wanted to do anything with them, so a brotherly bond was never formed. Well, maybe they did had one friend and it was Tadashi. Like Ainosuke, he taught [Y/N] how to skate. But unlike their brother, they never made the effort to go up to Tadashi to spend time with him. They were younger, too. Too little to play with the older boys.

"Hey, earth to [N/N]~? Anyone home?" Reki waved a hand in front of their face, wincing when it was smacked away. "Ow! Langa's right, you do slap hard." The redhead complained, rubbing his hand as back away from the other. [Y/N] pouted as they glared playfully at Reki.

"Sorry... I was just... thinking, that's all." The [h/c]nette muttered as they looked down at the board steadied by their foot on top of it. Langa tilted his head.

"What were you thinking about?" His silk voice calmed them down whenever they heard it. It was soothing to their ears. It was one of the things they liked about Langa, along with many other quirks of his. Such as his baby blue eyes. They loved staring into them. They liked to run their hands through his soft, blue hair whenever they hangout on the couch, leaning against each other.

It was funny. How they instantly click. Already finding comfort in each other. A few months ago, [Y/N] hated Langa. Refusing to hangout with him. Skate with him. Talk to him. But little by little, Langa took his time with them and broke down their walls, leaving each space for them to feel comfortable with his presence. It was the one thing that made them fall for him. Whenever he smile, their heart beat against their chest like butterflies were inside. They had this tingling feeling in their stomach whenever Langa look at them. They liked this feeling. It was an unfamiliar one but they could get use to it.

"[Y/N]..." There it was again. Their name rolled out of his tongue. It meant for him to say their name.

"Ah, yeah... Um.... I was just thinking," [Y/N] cleared their throat, eyes looking down at the ground as they tried to hide their flushed face. "if we're gonna skate? Try for any new tricks?" They shrugged, glancing back up at the two friends quickly. Reki nodded with a grin.

"Of course, we're gonna! Langa still gotta nail that one trick of yours." Reki teased, nudging the other boy on the torso as he looked up at him. Langa pouted, earning a laugh from Reki.

"It's a hard trick," Langa started but closed his hands into a fists with a determined expression on his face and locked his eyes with [Y/N]. "But I'll try my best to achieve it, [N/N]."

A soft laugh caught the two boys off guard. They stared at [Y/N] with slightly wide eyes. They hardly hear them laugh, so it was a first time since they became friends that the duo heard [Y/N] laugh. And Langa loved it. Such as much as he loved every little thing about them. It brought a gentle smile to his face.

Their eyes locked once more. Both staring at each other with admiration.

"I can't wait then. Let's see you try to nail the White Rabbit's ticking curve trick." [Y/N] said. Reki chuckled, already getting a head start to the direction to the usual skating hangout. Langa turned to them, a hand held out. And without another word, [Y/N] took his hand in theirs.

No words were needed to exchange for the looks they gave each other were enough. Actions says more than words. And skating down the road, hand in hand, was enough for Langa to know they wanted to stay with him such as much as he wanted to stay with them.

The phrase to skate together with you didn't just apply to his friendship with Reki, but also applied to his new found relationship with [Y/N].

In the end, he caught the white rabbit and left the thorns filled hole of theirs, not bother one bit about the minor cuts he occurred. All he cared about was the white rabbit, who rested safely in his arms and shower by the love they had wished for.

A love they both could see growing as days went by.

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cassanovancats · 3 years

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herding cats

becoming nekoma's manager

You really didn’t want to be here. Here being Tokyo, here being Nerima ward and, most importantly, here being the hallway of your new school. The uniform is itchy and you’re being dragged along by some student council member because, apparently, first years can’t be trusted to walk around themselves.

He was nice enough, though he certainly seemed more excited to show you around when he got a look at you. Then he got more excited when he found out your mom’s occupation was what brought you to Nekoma High halfway through your first-year. “So, what’s it like having a famous mom?”

Your eyes darted to the side instinctively. What kind of question is that? How are you supposed to answer? Like having a mom except you get asked things like that. “Uh, fine. She’s really not that cool.” Especially for moving you so late into the school year because her animation studio decided working distantly wasn’t working. “I get spoilers sometimes.” It’s exactly what he wants to hear.

You can hear the next question already, so you cut him off before he gets a chance to ask about the upcoming episode of the anime your mother was working on. “Ah, it seems we made it to the classroom. Thank you for helping me, Senpai.” You bow half heartedly and knock on the door before he gets a chance to respond.

This is exactly what you told your mother would happen. Even as you introduce yourself to the class, there’s a few people who instantly recognize your last name. Those students turn to whisper or pass notes and you know by lunch, you’ll be crowded by people hoping to become your friend purely for bragging rights. The teacher seems tuned to your inner angst, as she gracefully directs you to a seat in the back of the class, where you can watch instead of be watched.

The first subject of your people-watching is next to you - the one person who did not look up as you introduced yourself. A curtain of dark hair kept you from seeing any details of his face (and you can only tell it’s a he because of the uniform). What you can see is the screen of his handheld console and the bright features of one of your favorite games.

Which is why, during break, instead of making eye contact with any of the students striving to talk to you, you turn to him to complain about the latest update.

congrats, you befriended a wild kenma!

he’s the first person you’ve met in a while who doesn’t care about what your mom does, or how much money you have

he literally only cares about your ability to hard carry a team through a dungeon

a few weeks go by, with you basically just coming to school, talking to Kenma, and going home

until the student counselor comes to you and says you have to join a club

even though it’s the end of the year - some policy to ensure you have a club going into next year

“I hate this,” your complaint comes out severely muffled thanks to how you buried your face into folded arms. Kenma gives a noncommittal hum.

“Are you going to finish that?”

You glare at him but still shove the snack closer to his desk. One hand breaks away from his controller to snatch it, before it gets glued back to his PSP. “I’m serious - if one more club tries recruiting me, I’ll scream.”

He answers, sparing a side-glance towards you. The only hint he actually is listening. “Just warn me when that happens.” You groan and go back to your folded arms. It’s been hard to make friends despite people seeming desperate to be your friend. Well, that’s the problem, you think. You don’t particularly want friends who are planning what questions to ask before even greeting you, you want friends like Kenma who can treat you like a normal person.

Minutes before break ends, the president of the Anime Club approaches for the third time this week. “Hello, (l/n)-san. Have you thought any more about joining our club?”

You feel bad for the instinctive grimace. Really, she’s quite nice. It’s just an anime club is the last place you wish to be. Before you can find another polite way to let her down, Kenma interrupts. “Sorry, Sato-san. (y/n) is joining the volleyball club.”

“I am?” You can’t help but question. He shoots you a look, slighting narrowing his eyes.

“She’ll be meeting the captain at today’s practice.”

Sato-san tilts her head suspiciously but doesn’t press. “I hope to still see you around, (l/n)-san,” she says before flouncing off. You take a moment to reorient yourself.

“I am?”

Kenma sighs, saving his game and shoving the console into his bag. “Yeah, you are. Don’t worry, Kuroo will just be glad a girl is there. Coach Nekomata won’t decline help either.”

You blink at him. “Are you aware the only rules I know about volleyball is to not let the ball hit the ground and to only use your hands?”

“The last one isn’t true.”

“Do you see my point, then?”

yes he does, but he simply chooses to ignore you

it…. does not go well

Kuroo was awkward around you, which turned into a mischievousness when he realized Kenma was the one who brought you in

he kept insinuating you and Kenma were dating which like… no you were just a girl (space) friend

Yaku and Kai were normal-ish though Yaku straight-up asked if your mom was the (l/n)

he let it drop after confirmation at least

then… there was the students in your year

Kenma hovered near you, feeling responsible for putting you in a situation nearly identical to what Kuroo did to him

Yamamoto seemed flustered by your presence and also irritated that Kenma already was your friend

Fukunaga just kinda waved and went back to practicing

it took a while for everyone to get over their initial awkwardness, mostly being helped by having to constantly explain what was happening

but the time spent together meant you quickly found friends

friends who, similar to Kenma, dgaf about anything besides your personality and ability to quickly refill water bottles

Maybe you should have realized sooner what joining the volleyball club entailed. It’s not like you ever really participated in an organized sport though, so these summer practices were kicking your ass. The early morning and heat.... You felt pity for your boys; at least you weren’t having to run. Speaking of, the new members of your team just rounded the last bend.

“Come on, babies,” Kuroo cups his hands over his mouth to ‘encourage’ the first-years. “Even (y/n) could beat that!”

“Don’t say that; Lev’s gonna wanna see it!” you hiss, hitting his side.

Speaking of, the giant, silver puppy heads straight to you. After introductions, his upperclassmen quickly understood Lev required a, well, firm hand. Something you lacked which made you the target of his affections. “Woahh, (y/n)-senpai must be fast! Why don’t you actually play any sports?”

Yaku’s eyes level a harsh glare on him, “Are you trying to insult our manager?”

Shibayama steps forward, saving Lev from having to repeat his run. “I am curious why you chose to be a volleyball manager. No offense, but… you don’t seem to care about the sport.”

“Ah, none taken,” you easily wave off his concern. “Volleyball’s cool enough, but you’re right that I’m not passionate about it in the same way as others on the team. I mostly joined because of Kenma, actually.”

The first-years felt confused. How could their quiet, cat-senpai pull in one of the most popular girls in school? Even last year, when they were in Nekoma's middle-school, they had heard rumors of you. When you joined the volleyball club, even teachers started giving the once-golden club attention again. It was how the club received funding to travel to Miyagi next week. (In addition to a large donation from your mom, who was overjoyed you actually made friends.)

“He was my first and only friend at Nekoma for a long time,” you explain. Lev gasps dramatically. It seems impossible to imagine you without lines of admirers. “It doesn’t matter now since everyone in the club is my friend! Take your bottles and get in the gym; we need to talk about the logistics of going to that camp with Karasuno.”

the ones who stay behind are upset </3 cough cough lev

you’re pretty surprised you do get to go

but you’re excited - from what you understand it’s a rural area and you’ve been in Tokyo your entire life

maybe you'll even see a cow!

except you get there, walk a few feet and then notice Kenma is missing

excitement: ruined

Kuroo panics while repeating that he is not panicking

then you both get a text that’s just “in a playground”

when you find him, you scold him on talking to strangers

anyways the rest of the day is spent familiarizing yourself with the gyms and rooms

you run into Kiyoko while preparing dinner for your team

she explains she’s the only other manager at the camp, but she won’t be staying with you

You’re a lil upset bc sleepover ruined but it seems weird to complain about getting your own room and bath

(you still spend most of the time in the team’s room because it got really lonely without your boys :( )

the next morning, the day of the actual match, you get to wear your Official Manager Clothes

which is really just the track jacket, but it makes you feel cool

meeting karasuno is,,, interesting

you’re starting to think you’ll never find a normal volleyball player

From the corner of your eye, you spot Yamamoto attempting to intimidate some Karasuno players. With a sigh, you go to fetch him.

“Tora-kun, can you please help me bring in some supplies? They’re too heavy,” you whine. It’s you’re tried and true method to keeping him on a leash. If he’s helping you, he’s with the team.

Except you don’t just get his attention, you also get the attention of the boy he was staring down. Tanka startles at your sudden appearance behind Yamamoto and loses the harshness in his face. “G-girl-”

You make eye contact with Kenma who looks amused. He ignores your plead for help. Yamamoto takes the opportunity to flaunt you. “This is (y/n). Talk to her and you’ll learn how much pain a volleyball can inflict.” As he finishes his threat, he gets distracted by Kiyoko’s appearance over Tanka’s shoulder.

You decide it’s a lost cause and subtly inch away until you’re walking with Kiyoko. The boys are unable to hear what you’re talking about, but both stare dumbfounded as the only two girls in the entire camp gossip and laugh. Tanka and Yamamoto share a look; maybe there’s something shared between the two they didn’t see before.

“Is your idiot always like that?”

“Yeah, I assume that’s normal for your team too?”

#cass.writes #manager!reader #hq x reader #haikyu x reader #female!reader #nekoma #also lots of info from the wiki #so pls don’t jump me if it’s wrong

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wangxianslillotus · 3 years

Text

Au where Jiang Cheng, Nie Huaisang and Jin ZiXuan go to a haunted house into the forest of a mountain, in the middle of the night because ghosts won't show up during the day time.

Nie Huaisang hears that inside the house you can find incredible scary things such as talismans, bloody walls, screams at some point of the night, evidence of rituals. He even hears that there is a witch living in one of the rooms at the very end of the house.

Mostly, he knows that this is true due to pictures that one college classmate took a couple of days ago, but the pictures that people take of the witch always dissappear as if it was never there.

Indeed, it is a very creepy thing, but as Huaisang is SO curious about it, and Jiang Cheng is a good boyfriend, he comes along to protect him just in case.

And as for Jin ZiXuan, he comes along because his girlfriend, YanLi, is worried for his brother's well-being, knowing WanYin it's an actual scary cat. So yeah, he joins the party for the expedition into that damn haunted house.

When they arrive, they try to pry from one of the windows, just to prevent the immediate encounter with the witch. They see candles lighted on the ground that project weird shadows and shapes all around the place. As the rumors had said, the walls are full of talismans of all kinds, some drawings made with what they absolutely think that is blood, and there are hanging some papers from the ceilings above the bloody circle in the floor. They can't see more than that, and Huaisang hasn't satisfied his curiosity yet, he says. He wants to see the witch.

Jiang Cheng looks at Huaisang and wants to fucking kick his ass down the mountain, but instead just tells him how much he loves him to get a foot inside that eery ass house. They hold hands while entering the house, slowly and being the most careful they have ever been in their lives. The wood of the floor makes a scratchy sound as they walk into the first room, paper doors already long gone.

It is a very old house, at least that much they know. As they saw from the window, the room next to this one is the one with the papers hanging from the ceiling, but in the current one there seems to be some kind of altar, surrounded by more candles and incense that smells not so bad. They keep walking, looking at the walls of the window room quite closely now, amazed by how the witch has prepared so many things.

They are keeping it in by short, and it shows when they hear running footsteps in the next room. There is a paper door that's almost destroyed in between the two rooms, and they do catch a glimpse of a little shadow running into another further room from the spaces that were supposed to be covered with the paper.

Jiang Cheng mutters, "what the fuck?" Huaisang holding tighter onto his arm, and ZiXuan resisting the impulse that wants to make him run to hold Huaisang too, all of them scared to death.

They hear nothing now, but even so, they stay still for a couple of minutes. When nothing happens, they keep going further because Huaisang wanted to get a glimpse of the witch. And if Huaisang wanted, Jiang Cheng complied. And Jin ZiXuan wanted to leave them both right there.

ZiXuan opens the door after being pushed by Jiang Cheng, sliding it to the side with utmost silence. In this room there's only a table on the ground, full of scattered things that are just as gloomy as the first two rooms. They look like pieces of toys, and there are some tools too that Jiang Cheng recognizes from his sister's work, but that doesn't bring him any good feelings.

Suddenly a tug in his arm makes him turn, Huaisang pointing with his mouth full open to the door next room. Jiang Cheng looks, but doesn't see anything until he does, and then he's tugging at ZiXuan's arm with urgency.

"The... the... corner." He instructs, his voice being barely a tiny thread compared to his usual loud voice. ZiXuan doesn't even question it, he follows his instructions in case they need to run away. But when he does, he too, gets paralyzed at the sight.

There are two small hands holding the door that guides to the next room. Two small hands and the half of a child's face staring at them.

They stay still for what feels like ages, so when a big terrific shadow projects over their heads in the wall in front of them, greatly defined thanks to the thousands of candles lighted in the previous room, along with the happy kid's voice calling "papa" to something or someone pass them, they jump straight into different reactions.

Huaisang faints. He goes limp on the floor, and Jiang Cheng barely registers his fall, still frozen like a statue. ZiXuan runs towards the opposite wall to the one that projects the shadow, and turns around to confront it with a loud scream.

"Could you please be silent, you're scaring my son." The man speaks, already tired of the scene, even if he finds it hilarious. His voice is very chill, and he doesn't look much older than them. The little kid opens the door and runs towards him, hiding behind his legs.

Jiang Cheng turns around after gaining some of his soul back, ready to punch the man with all his strength until he turns him into a real ghost, but decides that his fainted boyfriend needs a little bit more of attention. He holds Huaisang closer as he speaks, "We are scaring him? He almost killed my man!!!"

The man chuckles, "You pretty much deserve that for coming into my home in the middle of the night." He states, patting the little boy's head with care.

"... your... home?" ZiXuan asks, confused. How could someone live in a place like this? It was insane. Jiang Cheng now tries to wake Huaisang up with a little slap on his cheek, but gets no response at all.

"Do I look like I am fond to repeat my words?" The man says, glaring at ZiXuan. The kid suddenly tugs at his father's pants, making grabby hands towards him, and with a smile, the man complies his son's wishes.

Jiang Cheng mutters, "This haunted place doesn't look like a home..."

"Ow, I'm sorry I missed the home-decor meeting, man." The man scoffs, making a half smile. "Now, even if you are intruders in my home," He paused, "I am a very good host, so unless you prefer to wait for him to wake up while you go down the woods to the city, you can bring him up to the living room."

He doesn't wait for an answer from the boys, and instead, he walks over the next room. They are quite surprised when they see him turn the lights on, and after sharing a look, they both take Huaisang, following the man deeper into the house.

They get into another room, laying Huaisang in the couch that the man points lazily as he dissappears into another room.

Jiang Cheng and Jin ZiXuan instantly get closer, and start discussing the current events.

"What the fuck?" ZiXuan starts, holding himself close by grabbing onto Jiang Cheng's shoulder.

"I don't know, what is going on, man..." he responds, sighing. "Wasn't this supposed to be a haunted house with a witch and all that?"

"Who said that? So rude." A third voice joins them with whispers too, making them jump again. They breat heavily, lips pressing while shooting glares to the man that returned from wherever he was.

"Can you stop?" Jiang Cheng barks, pushing the man with his shoulder without second thought. The man looks at him, eyes full of innocence.

"I'm not doing anything." He provides, disconcerted by the request.

"You're appearing out of nowhere, so suddenly... we're still kind of... getting our nerves back, you know?" ZiXuan explains the best way he can. The man makes an understanding gesture with his face, and apologizes in a whisper again.

They go silent a while more, just staring blankly at Huaisang, that shows no signs of waking up anytime soon. Until the man tries to break the ice.

"Since you're already here, and all that... what are your names?" He asks, taking a seat next to the table that matches the couch, on the floor. He looks at them with a sweet smile, looking almost happy for having them there.

"Uhh..." Jiang Cheng side looks at ZiXuan before answering. "Are you sure you're not going to like... throw a curse at us or something like that?"

The man laughs wholeheartedly at his words, grabbing his stomach and all, before answering, "Oh, no. You got enough already, didn't you?" He said putting his elbows onto the table, "But for you to be somewhat reassured, my name is Wei WuXian".

With that, the other two were indeed reassured. "I am Jin ZiXuan, he is Jiang WanYin... and this deceased one is Nie Huaisang. We are truly sorry for breaking in like this. And for scaring your son, too. He looks like a good child." He tries with a smile. With that, Wei WuXian seems to relax even more, as a proud father that he was.

"Oh, A-yuan is the best. He's sleeping now, but I promise that he is. Now, would you mind telling me who said that this was a Haunted house? I wouldn't want more people breaking in in my sleep, you know?"

"It was... one of Huaisang's college classmates. They came here the other night and took some pictures to show around." Jiang Cheng sits while talking, right next to Huaisang's legs. If he was going to be chatty, then at least he should be comfy.

Wei WuXian made a face at that information. That wasn't good at all.

"I see..."

They pause for another couple of seconds, until Jiang Cheng couldn't hold it anymore. He has a curiosity too, and just like his boyfriend, he's very often, not so good at containing it.

"Why do you live here?" He wanted to know since he realized that there was no witch, no ghost, but just a lot of awful choices with decorations, probably to scare away people in the first place, or something like that, and a little boy in his pajamas waiting for his dad to come back home.

Wei WuXian sighs, "I don't have money to rent a better place at the city, and with my current job I have enough to pay for a tuition for A-yuan. I'm searching, tho. For better jobs, and better conditions too, but... it's been pretty though. 23 years old, a child, no bank account or references and no other job experiences, people don't really want that on their heads when I do the interviews." He wishes he had a beer or something to talk about his problems with people he barely knew, but he supposes that that was exactly the reason why he could talk without saving himself some face, without having to pretend that he was not affected by what he couldn't control. They have already seen a lot, too. So what else could be saved.

Jiang Cheng and Jin ZiXuan felt for what Wei WuXian was going through. They weren't exactly the best empaths, but they knew how hard the things could be for some people.

Jiang Cheng had seen his mother after the divorce, refusing to accept the money his father sent them because she thought that it was the fastest way to get completely away from him and his lack of everything at their past relationship. He had seen her working hard to earn her place in the world, and had seen her distressed when they had no money to spare, not even for a toy. They were better now, way better. But he never forgot.

Not even now, seeing the same expression that his mom had at the time, plastered in Wei WuXian's face while he lets a sigh take away some tension.

You could... come with us. He wants to say. We have a spare room where you could live with your child for a while until you get some money. He really wants to say. But he doesn't find the words.

"How is your son doing with all this, WuXian?" ZiXuan asks, knowing the background of the thinking process that was going on inside of Jiang Cheng's mind. Wei WuXian wrinkles his nose a little bit, trying to pull some strength.

"He..." he sighs, changing his position, "He's trying his best. He doesn't like this place, we're not feeling safe here, and he has nightmares from time to time. But he studies hard even if he's tired, and eats whatever I can bring onto the table... he never complains." Sometimes, Wei WuXian wanted that his son complained, so that he could blame himself for everything that was going on. It was his fault, in the first place. But his son's smiles hurted him even deeper than any blame that he could phantom.

"It's been long?" Jiang Cheng finally got a grip on his memories, and he rejoins the conversation. "Since you live here."

Wei WuXian looks at him and thinks, has it been long? "Mmh... no more than six months."

"That's!!!" Jiang Cheng quarrels with a sudden scream. Wei WuXian looks at him surprised, and Jiang Cheng clears his throat before continuing, "that's a lot of time..."

"Indeed, it is." Wei WuXian answers, dry. It was already more than the "couple of weeks" that he said he needed to get everything under control. It was by far more than a couple of weeks.

When Jiang Cheng was about to offer him that he joined the Jiang house, Nie Huaisang made a sound in complain, making them jump onto their feets to check him.

"Babe... if you're so much of a scary cat to faint on the spot, then we shouldn't have come to a supposed haunted house." Jiang Cheng said, pulling his boyfriend's cheek when he confirmed that he was okay.

Nie Huaisang makes a pout but doesn't argue on that. Instead, he focuses on the unknown man in black at the side of his boyfriend, and offers a polite smile.

"How long have you been awake?" Wei WuXian asks, not being fooled by his smile. Huaisang presses his lips, he's been caught on the spot. The other two boys look surprised, was he faking it?

"... Since A-Cheng asked you why you live here..." he confesses, turning pink on his cheeks.

"A-Sang!" Jiang Cheng complains, frowning deep. "Why didn't you say something?"

"How could I just talk in the middle of all that?! You would have stopped right away... besides, it would have been the most uncomfortable thing ever. So spare me, A-Cheng!" He took his boyfriend's hand into his, pulling him to seat again at his side in the couch.

ZiXuan rolls his eyes and takes a seat in front of Wei WuXian, not wanting to pay attention to the couple. He knew better already. And it seemed that Wei WuXian could predict them too, because he just sat back on the floor. There where a couple of seconds more until the couple settles, finally paying attention to the previous conversation.

"So... you... live... alone with your son?" Huaisang asks, tip toeing the words, not so sure how would it sound once pronounced. Wei WuXian stares at him for a second, not really looking. It was more like he was looking at the past for a couple of moments, but he ends up smiling, stiff but deciding to answer.

"I do. We do. It's just A-Yuan and Wei Ying." He declares. It wasn't bad. It wasn't good either, in some terms.

It was good, because Wei WuXian loved every single day he spends by his precious son's side, he loves the way his little boy munches his food, the way he sleeps, the way he treats the world, he did his best everyday, even to random stray cats that showed up on their door, his son was the best and the cutest. He loves him. But... it wasn't good for A-Yuan, because these weren't the proper conditions for his son's health or education, nor to his well-being and growth. Wei WuXian knows it.

The other three boys didn't knew what to say to that, to be fair. They couldn't just avoid the feeling that something definitely had happened, but also they couldn't quite grab exactly what had happened, so they really didn't knew what to say in response. It wasn't like Wei WuXian wasn't sharing, or keeping secrets. He was being bare open to their questioning, but this... just seems way too personal for them to dig it up just like that.

Wei WuXian seems to catch the feeling in the air, because he agitates his hand in front of his nose, like fanning something, saying "Oh, no. Don't mind it. Really, it isn't something that hurts to speak of."

They breathe again, and look at him with expectation in their eyes. Wei WuXian is happy that he, now, has someone who will listen to his story, his and his son's. But it wasn't the moment, was it?

"He isn't really my son. He is, because I love him, and because I adopted him. But I'm not his biological father." He provided in a whisper, that being enough for now. "He doesn't know, so I'm not quite comfortable with saying it out loud here."

They all made an understanding nod, all with different expressions, but understanding nonetheless. Wei WuXian smiled warmly.

That night, the party left the haunted house with a new friend and a new trouble to be talked and solved. They arrived at the Jiang house, still talking about what or how would they ask Madam Yu permission for bringing their new friend, plus one little boy, under their roof.

Madam Yu wasn't quite enchanted by the full idea, of course, she wanted to help, but bringing a man into the house would be a little bit shocking to the people in the neighborhood, but she knew why his son was doing all of this. And they could say that it was a friend of Jiang Cheng, which was true. They sat sat the table until four am, talking about how would they live from now on. They even talked about making Wei WuXian a contract for rent, in case he needed it for any reason that could come up in the future. When they settled most of the things, Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang went to the room that they were going to give Wei WuXian to prepare it, ZiXuan went to his own home, and Madam Yu went to her study to check out prices of furniture that the boy and his son would probably need.

..................

Later that week, WanYin and Huaisang went up the mountain again. They walk for quite a bit until they are in front of the house in the middle of the forest. Under the daylight, the house looks not so scary anymore, but instead just bad maintained.

There are some toys scattered on the side of the entrance, when they pass. Huaisang slides his hand onto his boyfriend's and smiles at him excitedly. They go further down the house until the actual main entrance, announcing their arrival with a loud voice, so that Wei WuXian doesn't get surprised, at least in the wrong way.

Wei Ying turns around with A-Yuan on his arms, smiling at his friends with happiness. "Guys! What are you doing here?" He asked, making an adorable face when his son waves at them too, offering a thooty smile. What a polite little boy.

Huaisang almost dies at the cuteness of this little one, so he immediately goes to him, while Jiang Cheng is left to give the big news.

"Well... actually... You know. There's a room." He says, smacking himself mentally at the eyebrow that Wei WuXian gives him, and the laugh that his boyfriend barely contains inside. "There's a free. A free room. It's not being used. The room it's at my house." He... is getting somewhere, enough to enlighten Wei WuXian's eyes when he connects the dots. But Jiang Cheng it's not a patient human being, so he just sighs before a bluntly adding, "do you want it?"

Huaisang looks at him with a smile, just too amused at the spectacle to make some additions, meanwhile Wei WuXian covers his face to laugh out loud.

"What is funny?" WanYin asks, red from head to toe.

"I do want it, WanYin. Thank you..." Wei WuXian says, pulling the other man into his arms for a hug. A tight hug. "Thank you so, so, so much."

.............

#wei wuxian #wei ying #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #mdzs au #mo dao zu shi au #jiang wanyin #jiang cheng #nie huaisang #jin zixuan #jiang yanli #a-yuan #our home will be wherever we are a-yuan

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nazyalenskyism · 3 years

Text

Let’s Get Married 1

Summary: A Zoyalai modern AU with fake dating in latter parts.

Ao3: Let’s Get Married

Excerpt: He raised a brow, easing back in his chair, “can I help you?”

“What’s this?” Genya exclaimed without any preamble, grabbing a paper off the top of the stack in David’s hands and slapping it onto his desk.

“Paper, I assume, darling Genya.”

“I mean what’s on the paper,” she snapped, “it says you’re married.”

“That sounds great. See you at noon tomorrow. Yes, Madraya I know how to get to the Palm Court. Yes, I promise I won’t be late. Okay, I’ll see you soon.” Nikolai gently placed the receiver into the cradle before dropping his head into his hands. He was lucky that it was a Friday evening, the firm was empty which meant no one was around to witness this. He was nestled away in his favourite hidden corner in the law library which was the perfect place to get his work done, though he wondered how productive he would be now that he had to create a game plan for the following day. He was practiced in making sure his mother didn’t spill any secrets which was often the result of wanting to spite his father and one too many drinks, but no matter how good he thought he was his mother always managed to surprise him. And then there was the matter of his brother and father. He wanted nothing more than for them to burn with their continual mistakes, but he couldn’t. Whether it was out of some strange sense of loyalty to people who only made his life more difficult or to protect his mother who always stood silent at their sides when they tormented him, he didn’t know.

The only thing he did know was that he was about 15 hours away from another lunch with his mother and her gossiping group of friends where his father would decide not to show up at the last minute because Vasily wanted to go golfing in the Hamptons where they would undoubtedly spend the rest of the weekend philandering. Another weekend where his mother pretended she didn’t know what was happening, deciding to drop as much money as she could manage, just to irritate her husband. Then it would be Monday again, where Nikolai was left to pick up the pieces from the damage that his family caused, wishing that he could close his eyes and disappear off the face of the Earth for just a second if it meant he could be left without responsibility over people who didn’t care about him.

“What are you doing?” From between the shelves stepped out another lawyer, not just any other lawyer, it was Zoya. Zoya Nazyalensky was a talented lawyer who had joined the firm a few years after he had, right out of law school. She was skilled, hardworking, and an expert in making the most egotistical men shrink by simply raising her brow. They had worked a few cases together over their time at the firm, but more often than not, they had their separate cases that they chose to work on together. Most days they could be found in each others’ offices, working silently for hours with only occasional requests for advice or lunch orders. Despite all the time they spent working together, Nikolai, who considered himself something of an expert when it came to others’ feelings, had no idea if Zoya actually liked him or if she simply put up with him because he was the least terrible person at work. He always welcomed her company though.

“What are you doing here so late?”

She raised a brow before crossing the space and sinking into the couch cushions next to him. “I could ask you the same thing. In fact, I just did.”

“I’m putting some things together before the weekend.”

“Was your phone call that bad?”

Nikolai wanted to wince, “you heard that?”

“You were on speaker.”

“Saints, as if I needed that broadcast to the entire firm.”

“Oh, there’s no one here. You and I are the only ones left,” she said as she pulled off her high heels and curled her legs onto the couch.

“You haven’t answered my question, why are you still here?”

“You first.”

He sighed, she’d already heard the entirety of his conversation with his mother, it’s not like he could ruin her image of him further. “The sooner I go home, the sooner the reality of tomorrow will hit me.”

“Is getting tea with your mother really that bad?” she asked almost hesitantly.

Nikolai threw his head back, “I love my mother, but these luncheons usually involve my father ditching at the last minute to go and break his wedding vows, while my mother pretends she doesn’t know what’s happening

“And you have to go?”

“Someone has to make sure she gets home in one piece, and I trust her friends as far as they can throw me.”

“Isn’t the saying that you trust them as far as you can throw them?”

“I excel at everything I do, naturally but they can’t say the same.”

“Ah, I see.”

They sat in silence for a moment before she spoke again, her tone hushed as if speaking any louder would shatter the calm. “Is that why you don’t work for your father?”

Nikolai exhaled, “that’s a part of it.” His father was C.E.O of Ravkan Industries, and unlike his brother, Nikolai hadn’t joined the family business right out of highschool. Make no mistake, he wanted to be a part of the company, he knew he needed to be a part of it to spare the world of further misguided leadership from his family. It pained him, but they were the worst thing to happen to the company, and he often feared that he was the only person who could stop the trainwreck that was his family from derailing.

She nodded, “I know a thing or two about bad families.” Her legs had been drawn up to her chest, and she rested her head against her knees, eyes trained on him, “I can’t speak about anyone else, but your brother is definitely a jackass.”

“You’re right, I’m sure everyone who’s ever met him agrees. Speaking of which, when did you?”

“I came to your office a few weeks ago looking for you. He was waiting for you, gave me a sleazy once-over and asked me out. He got offended when I said no, and I told him that I didn’t date men who look like the Walmart versions of their younger brothers.”

Nikolai shook his head in amusement, “I’m surprised I haven’t heard him complaining about that. You must have really wounded his ego.”

“What,” Zoya said, fixing him with the withering glare she dished out when someone was being incompetent, “like it’s hard?”

“Ooh,” Nikolai groaned, rubbing a hand over his chest, “glad I’ve never been on the receiving end of one of those.”

She gave him a small smile, picking at a loose thread at her sleeve, “how do you usually spend your Saturdays when you’re not cleaning up their messes?”

“Go on a run, get pastries and coffee from the bakery across the street, read a book with my cat, catch up on some shows…”

“That sounds…. surprisingly pleasant.”

“ What did you think I got up to?”

“I don’t know… peach picking or something?”

“Aren’t you allergic to peaches?”

Zoya looked startled for a second, “yeah, how did you know that?”

“That time that we helped Genya with her groceries because she broke her leg? You weren’t paying attention and grabbed them, 10 minutes later you got hives.”

The look she gave him was intense and assessing, had he said something wrong? As much as he liked to think he knew how everyone operated, Zoya Nazyalensky was a bit of an enigma to him still. “What about you? What are you doing tomorrow?” he said in an attempt to maintain the conversation.

“I’ll go on a run with my dog, get breakfast, do some work, get some flowers and do my laundry. The usual.”

“Have you ever had lunch at the Palm Court?”

“No, but my aunt took me to the champagne bar when I graduated,” her smile was small, “it was the nicest night I’ve ever had.”

“I can’t promise that tomorrow will be anything less than a disaster, but would you like to accompany me to lunch?”

Zoya fiddled with the chain around her neck, fingers running over the seams of the locket, as if she was contemplating opening it. “Would it be proper?”

“You said it yourself, you have nothing else to do tomorrow morning, you’ll get a ridiculously expensive and delicious lunch for free.”

“But wouldn’t I be intruding?”

“My father’s going to cancel at the last minute, remember?”

“And what if he doesn’t?”

“He will. He always does, and he is nothing if not a creature of habit.” His phone rang at that exact moment, “like clockwork,” he murmured. “Hello.”

“Tell your mother that I can’t make lunch tomorrow, Vasya and I are going golfing.” The line cut before Nikolai could reply, not that he’d been planning on it.

“So, Nazyalensky, are we on for afternoon tea then?”

She sighed, “fine. But it better be as tasty as you’re saying it is.”

“It’s absolutely heavenly. The Dom Pérignon really brings out the subtle undertones in the Pistachio Dacquoise Cake. And the Devonshire cream is absolutely to die for.”

“I didn’t understand half of that.”

“Don’t worry, after the first time, you’ll be begging that we go back.”

She raised a brow, “is that a challenge, Lantsov?”

He grinned, “when is it not?”

“This is a pity lunch, I’m not going because I actually care about you.”

Nikolai nodded understandingly, “of course, of course. This is strictly a pity invite too, since this brunch will definitely be more entertaining than a Saturday spent at home.”

“Great. So we’re on the same page then,” her smile was sharp and Nikolai felt his blood rush at the sight. Maybe tomorrow would be bearable.

***

“Anything I need to know before we go in?” Zoya crossed her arms over her chest, staring up at the façade of the infamous hotel the following morning, suppressing the urge to run home. Was she nervous? For what? To meet Nikolai’s mother? No, that couldn’t be it. She was nervous to lose her bet with him, that was it. He had called her early this morning to make sure that the terms of the bet were solidified, if she fell in love with any of the food, she had to accompany him to any future lunches, whenever he asked. If she won, he had to accompany her to any errands she wanted. She had thought about making him assemble all of her IKEA furniture for the foreseeable future on the way here and had nearly bumped into him while she daydreamed about him carrying her groceries every week.

“If a question doesn’t feel like a trap, then it is one. If it feels like it’s a trap, then it’s definitely a trap. If it feels like someone is fishing for a response, then that’s a trap.”

“So, everything is a trap?”

“Exactly!”

“And you do this every month?”

“More like every two weeks.”

“Saints,” she swore, “and you don’t get sick of the food or company?”

“Well, they do let a little bit too much slide about their husbands’ schedules, most of them are on the board of my father’s company, and if I can get on their good sides they might vote for me over Vasily to take over one day.”

“You’re always playing the long game, aren’t you?”

Nikolai raised a brow, “and you’re not? We both know your ‘favourite hangout spots’ are coincidentally the same places where you can poach clients from Fjerdan Holdings.”

“Wait,” Zoya frowned, ignoring him completely. “If your father and Vasily are both skipping, who else did you invite? I'm taking your father’s place and what about Vasily’s?”

“I’m honoured you think I’d be invited in the first place.”

“You’re not invited?”

“Only when Vasily cancels, which is every time.”

“They really don’t invite you to family lunches?”

“I’m something of a problem child to them.”

“Nikolai,” she said and he could feel her gaze on him, “are you sure about this?”

“Yes, Zoya. I’m sure.”

“Let’s get moving then, we’re about to be late.”

“Ruthless as always,” Nikolai sighed, pushing open the door.

“Punctual, as always,” Zoya retorted, following him through the lobby, “you should take a lesson or two from me on showing up on time.”

“Never heard of fashionably late, Nazyalensky?”

“That’s just an excuse people with no dress sense use to justify their inability to choose a functional outfit.”

“Ruthless.”

“Honest.”

***

“Kolya!”A blonde woman dressed in beige exclaimed, beckoning him over before pulling him down into a hug . Zoya looked down at her pale blue dress, was she too colourful for brunch? But no, Nikolai’s dress shirt was the same colour as her dress, surely that meant that it was okay. She’d forgotten the ultra-rich nature of Nikolai’s family and the way that high society acted. Sure she made good money at work, but this world, the world of her clients, was something else. She’d grown up eating lunchables when she’d lived with her parents, while she suspected that he had never eaten anything that wasn’t prepared by a gourmet chef before he went to university.

“Madraya, this is my friend, Zoya,” he said, pulling away, “she’s the one I told you would be joining us this morning.”

“Thank you for having me,” she smiled, trying to put on her most charming persona, The Nikolai, as she liked to call it.

Nikolai’s mother shook her hand enthusiastically, “Zoya, this is Svetlana, Kolya’s auntie. Please! Sit, sit.” The other woman assessed her slowly from head to toe and Zoya shot her a cool glance, a challenge, to which Svetlana turned away from. Off to a great start.

Zoya reached to pull out her chair, faltering when she felt someone else’s on top of hers. “Your jacket,” Nikolai whispered, “I can take it.”

She stared at him. What? She went rigid as Nikolai helped her out of her coat, the warmth of his fingers brushing against her skin, making her thoughts freeze too.

“You alright, Nazyalensky?” he murmured in her ear as he pulled her chair out for her. “You should stop staring, it’s rude.”

She rolled her eyes at him, whatever spell had fallen over her was broken now, “thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he winked in return, but she could see the surprise on his face. Did he really think she was so ruthless that she had no manners?

“So Kolya, tell us about how you and Zoya met!”

***

Lunch was rather mild, and nowhere near as horrific as Nikolai has mentioned. In fact, it was pleasant, certainly much more enjoyable than any meal she’d had with her own mother. Nikolai’s mother cared for him in her own vapid way, and once Nikolai had reiterated that Zoya was not his girlfriend, Svetlana had thawed considerably, both of the women asking her about her clothes, work, and life. The lies came easily, they always did when it came to her family. She wasn’t embarrassed by her past but she saw no value in mentioning the people who had conceived her but had done nothing more than that. Zoya was also not in the mood to be pitted by these women, and she spun them a web of what they wanted to hear. A girl from a rich family who grew up doing all of the things they had.

She told them details from trips she had always dreamt of taking with her aunt but that they’d never been able to afford, easily replying to their inquiries of, “oh, I love Paris! When you went, did you eat at the cafe 3 blocks east of the Louvre? With the 100 year old bakery? It’s a must!” with an exact order of their most deep-menu items. Zoya smiled as they tittered on about the delicacies, as if an evening dining there didn’t cost more than what a month’s worth of groceries had cost as a child. To them her weekends were spent at tennis practice at the local country club instead of split between doing homework, working at her aunt's cafe and in the mail room at the law firm across the street to earn a little money. She didn’t say this explicitly of course, but she didn’t deny it either when they acted like she shared their experiences.

She’d never spoken to Nikolai about her past, nothing beyond the fact that she was raised by her aunt and that she had a younger cousin. He’d never asked, not out of a lack of interest in her, she knew that— but out of understanding that she didn’t particularly care to share that information. In the world in which she now found herself, anyone that deviated from the norm was looked down upon and she refused to be a source of entertainment for them.

The conversation quickly turned away from her however, with a few carefully timed lines from Nikolai. He brought up childhood memories of his own that made everyone laugh, recounting his numerous hijinks through the years. He told stories about the more interesting cases he and Zoya had worked on recently, his flow pausing naturally to let her throw in her own banter as well. She learned of the multiple times Nikolai had nearly burnt their beach house down, how he once “accidentally” lured a hoard of sheep to chase his brother when they were visiting Scotland, and how he was the youngest in his highschool graduating class, finishing at 15 before going to university, and then sailing around the world for a year.

As enjoyable as seeing Nikolai’s nose scrunch when his mother recounted a particularly adorable story was, by the time the desserts rolled around, Zoya felt fatigued. How did Nikolai do this all the time? When he wasn’t charming his family he was charming clients, coworkers, whoever he needed to. She had enjoyed the afternoon a lot more than she had anticipated, especially the food which was heavenly, like he’d said. But in the end she was adamant not to admit defeat to Nikolai even if it meant more meals like this. She would rather stab herself with the salad fork than admit he was right— or was that the dessert fork? Why were there so many forks? She was granted a bit of a reprieve when the ladies saw another group of their friends and decided to go chat with them at their table. Then it was just her and Nikolai, who had gone unusually quiet and was staring at her empty plate quite critically. “What’s wrong?”

***

Nikolai had been right, inviting Zoya to lunch had been a great idea, he couldn’t recall the last time he’d genuinely enjoyed one of these lunches. She had been brilliant, with the way that she handled all of their questions and discussed topics that interested them, the way that she’d chimed in at the perfect moments in his stories to add a little detail that made the anecdote even better. Everything had gone better than he could’ve imagined, except for the fact that it looked like he might be losing their bet, and after today, he didn’t think he would hate these lunches if Zoya were attending them with him.

Af first he’d been genuinely worried that she wasn’t enjoying herself since her reaction to the food had been muted, but the longer he watched her the more he was able to figure out exactly what was going on. He knew she wasn’t touching the desert tower because she knew that it would be her downfall. Most of the sweets were exactly of her taste and she was desperate not to lose to him. What had she intended on making him do if he lost that she was fighting so hard to win?

“Try it,” Nikolai mumbled, pointing at the tea tower, “it’s delicious.”

Zoya rolled her eyes, “you’ve said that about everything so far.”

“I’m serious, Nazyalensky. You’re going to love this.”

“I’m going to love it, or you’re convinced I should love it so that you win?”

Nikolai pulled a face, “why can’t it be both? Come on, it’s a dark chocolate cherry custard, that’s pretty much all of your favourite foods.”

Zoya peered at the dessert as if she was holding herself back, “it does look slightly edible…”

Saints, she would do anything to beat him, wouldn’t she? Nikolai smothered his grin, holding out a spoonful of the custard to her, “you know you want to try it.”

She let out an exasperated breath, taking the bite. Her eyelashes fluttered as she tasted it and she turned to him, scowling, “damnit, that’s so good.”

“I won’t say I told you so, Zo,” he laughed, as she smacked his shoulder with one hand, the other wielding a spoon that was digging into the custard on his plate. She hated that nickname.

“Well, Nik, or should I say Nikky? Or Niko? Or Nikola? Or--”

“Ah, that’s enough, dear,” Nikolai groaned, he definitely had worse nicknames.

“Whatever you say, Kolya.”

“Who would’ve guessed that brunch Zoya was a gloater?” His tone was teasing as he leaned in, brushing the bottom of her lip with his thumb to get rid of a chocolate smudge. “I certainly figured you were the modest type,” he trailed off, realizing what he’d done.

“Me and gloat don’t belong in the same sentence,” Zoya said, but her voice was low and her eyes were trained on his fingers. Nikolai repressed the urge to sit on his hands or flee from the table, but she said nothing and neither did he.

“Kolya, sweetheart, be a dear and wait for your father’s card.” His mother was back. Nikolai shot out of his seat, walking over to her. “We’ll be down the street at Svetlana’s daughter’s boutique. Zoya, hon, are you coming with us?”

“Oh, I’ll just wait with Nikolai,” Zoya smiled.

“Of course, dear.” His mother then pulled him aside, “you should bring your girlfriend around more often. It’s been so long since you’ve brought someone home.”

Nikolai looked at her, bewildered, “girlfriend? Zoya’s not my girlfriend. We’re just friends. Not even friends, coworkers is probably a better descriptor for our fully platonic relationship.” Was he rambling? He felt like he was rambling.

Instead of replying his mother simply patted his cheek with an infuriatingly knowing look before she followed her friends out of the dining room. Nikolai shook his head out, walking back to Zoya as they waited.

“ ‘Not even friends?’I have to admit, that’s probably the best thing I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth,” Zoya said, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

“I was just taken aback,” Nikolai protested, “of course we’re friends, okay,” he said, raising his hands in surrender at her pointed glare, “I consider us friends at least, I don’t invite strangers to the brunch from hell.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” she scoffed, flicking a piece of lint from his lapel absently. “The food was good, and they were nice enough.”

“Oh, they’re not nice at all,” he laughed, turning to take the card from the approaching waiter, “you just knew how to handle them.”

“I suppose I’ve spent enough time with clients like them to know how to act,” she frowned, “I didn’t really have to think about it.”

“That makes you a perfect fit in their social circle,” he winked, holding the door open for her, “you’re clever enough to outsmart them all, they can’t get anything from you unless you want them to have it.”

“I thought being clever was your brand?”

“I’m okay with having a worthy companion in that bracket.” Nikolai jested, surprised when she slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow as they began their way down the street. She probably just needed to keep her balance, he couldn’t imagine navigating the cobblestone path in the high heels she was wearing. He couldn’t recall her ever wearing anything but heels, now that he thought about it. Perhaps she would require further assistance walking in the future, he didn’t think he would mind that.

“But really,” she said, tilting her head up to look at him, “you’ve never thought about us?”

Nikolai turned away for a second, unsure of what exactly to say, and when he turned back to her, she was already looking away. “I can’t say I have. To be fair, I didn’t think you liked me until yesterday, or that you considered us friends until today.”

“Of course we’re friends,” she scowled, punching his bicep with her free hand, “we’ve been friends for years, you dolt. You think I waste my free time on people I can’t be bothered to tolerate?”

“Oh.”

Zoya rolled her eyes, “yes, oh. I always knew I was smarter than you but this is pathetic on your part, Lantsov. What did you think when I gave you that scarf for Christmas?”

“I thought you were just being nice?”

She groaned, “take that back. I’ve never been nice a day in my life.”

They walked in silence for a few minutes before she spoke, “you really didn’t think, ‘hey, we do our work together at the office, we have the same friends, and I’m the only person in the office that Zoya hasn’t threatened to throw out the 29th floor window? so maybe that means something?’”

“You threatened to throw me out the second floor window 3 days into working at the firm.”

“Exactly!” she nodded, “you would probably survive that fall. That was essentially me telling you I didn’t hate you that much.”

“You work in mysterious ways, Nazyalensky.”

“Hold on,” Zoya put out a hand to stop him, “your collar is up.” She stepped towards him, fingers brushing his neck as she folded the fabric, her gaze intent upon him.

“If it weren’t for my newfound knowledge that you consider us friends, I would think you were considering strangling me.” Nikolai laughed, feeling her pause in her movements.

“That can certainly be arranged,” she teased, smoothing out the lapels of his coat, her hands resting on his chest for a second. Her eyes met his and she looked away quickly towards the boutique, freezing when she saw the occupants staring out the window at them. “Why are they looking at us like that?” Zoya murmured.

“I think that Svetlana thought she could get me to marry her daughter.”

“Aren’t you all about love, is it really that bad of an idea? She owns a boutique, that’s pretty cool.” She stepped back, shoving her hands into her own coat pockets, and Nikolai instantly regretted opening his mouth.

“I’m not really her type.”

“I thought you were ‘everyone’s type?’”

“Am I?” Zoya turned away from his gaze, and he thought he saw her face flush. “She dated Tamar a few years back, and then she was with my sister for a few months, but I doubt her mother knows if she’s dating anyone right now.”

“Wait, wait, wait. You have a sister?”

“That’s a story for another time,” Nikolai grinned. “It may cost you another lunch date.”

“If they have food as good as today’s, every Saturday is yours.”

Nikolai smiled as Zoya waltzed into the boutique, an elegant but disruptive storm in his life. She hadn’t flinched when he’d called it a date, hadn’t hesitated when he’d asked her to accompany him again, hadn’t protested at the fact that he’d won the bet. Despite all the good that had come out of the day, he felt something gnawing at his chest, ‘what, you’ve never thought about us?” and he doubted it would ever leave his head now. ‘Whatever’ Nikolai thought, trailing after her. It wasn’t like even if he wanted to, they would ever be together. There was no use in worrying over something that would never happen.

#zoyalai fic #my writings #zoyalai #nikolai lantsov #zoya nazyalensky #kos #s&b #tgt #gv

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buferfliz · 3 years

Text

We Belong Together

So Kuroo is one of my faves and i wanted to write something for him. I will eventually write something for all of my favorites. For now i hope you all enjoy this. Thank you to my awesome sister @silentprincessofhyrule for this awesome banner.

Warnings: This is mostly fluff with some angst. Swearing, toxic person/relationship, happy ending

Key: I’m sure you all know this but just in case, y/n = your name and gf/n = girlfriend’s name

Peas in a pod. That was what you and your two best friends heard most from your teachers, parents, even just neighbors when you were younger. They weren’t wrong, the three of you were always together from the very start.

At first it was just you and Kenma. You lived on the same street and were the only two children. He was only a year younger than you and so you were just naturally drawn together.

Kenma was quiet, kept to himself, but that was fine with you. He was sweet and kind and fun to be around. Besides you were loud and outgoing enough for the two of you anyway. Most of your time together was spent playing games and talking about whatever was on your mind. The two of you enjoyed each other’s company.

When Kuroo had moved onto your street, you were the first to say hello. You thought he was cute even if he was on the shy side, not that anyone would ever be able to guess that nowadays. It hadn’t mattered though, you were friends with Kenma and so you were used to that sort of thing.

The three of you bonded over games and eventually started playing volleyball together. You’d even managed to find some co-ed training camps so the three of you could play in actual games together. You always had fun playing with them even if they were way better at it than you were.

When you started middle school, the two of them joined the volleyball team and you became their number one fan and biggest cheerleader. Sure you were sad that you couldn’t play on the same team with them, not that you had ever intended on joining a school team, but that didn’t stop you from going to every game and practice. After they were done with volleyball club for the day, the three of you would do your homework together then play games at Kenma’s or watch movies at your house or play a little volleyball in Kuroo’s backyard.

The three of you were inseparable and that continued through middle school, on through high school, and even still now in college. Your schedules didn’t always match up perfectly but you spent as much time together as you could and every morning the three of you would commute to college together.

You’d all chosen to live at home while attending college to save on money. Besides you all lived close enough to the campus that commuting wasn’t a big deal. But you all had also decided to do it so that all of you could still be close to each other and see each other whenever you wanted, just like it had always been no pesky dorm rules to stop you. The three of you truly treasured each other and the time you spent together.

You rushed into the gym hoping to see your friends before their practice match with Fukurodani began.

“There you are chibi-chan, I was beginning to think you got lost.” Kuroo says as he approaches you.

“Yeah sorry about that. My professor went off on a tangent and kept us late.”

“Well that’s ok, you’re here now.” He smiles at you.

“Hey, Hey, Hey kitty cat.” Bokuto says when he spots you talking to Kuroo.

“Hey Ko, how are you?”

“Seriously bro? What’s with that nickname?” Kuroo asks him.

“What? Your mascot is a cat and it sounds cute. She doesn’t mind that I call her that. I mean I could call her my baby owl instead.”

“No. Kitty cat is bad enough and she isn’t yours.”

You just laugh at the exchange between the friends.

“Hey y/n, are those two at it again?” A calm voice asks from behind you.

“Oh hey Kenny. You know they are but I think it’s cute.”

“Cute? I think not.” Kuroo says.

“The only cute thing here is you kitty cat.” Bokuto says to you in a flirty manner.

“Aww, thank you Ko.”

It was always like that with you and Bokuto. You were just friends but there was always flirty banter between you two. You never saw anything more to it than just a playful exchange. Bokuto then makes another comment that causes you to laugh and maybe that’s why you missed the look of jealousy that briefly flitted across Kuroo’s face.

Turning your attention back to your two best friends, you give Kenma a hug and then you give Kuroo one as well. As you hug Kuroo, you feel as though his grip around you seems a bit tighter than usual but you decide to just enjoy the feel of it.

“Good luck guys.”

You head towards the bleachers and find your usual seat in the front row. You can’t help but to think about the hug you had just gotten from Kuroo. You feel your heartrate pick up as you remember the warm strong embrace. The truth was your feelings for your two best friends had changed. They were still your best friends and they always would be. But while your love for Kenma had taken the sibling route, your love for Kuroo had taken the romantic route.

You feel a little ache in your chest thinking about it because you have convinced yourself that Kuroo would only ever see you as one of his best friends. You’ve told yourself that you’re ok with it because he’s a great friend, but every day you can’t stop yourself from hoping that today would be the day. The day that Testsuro Kuroo, Tetsu as you affectionately referred to him, would realize that he was in love with you. No matter how unrealistic it might be.

Kuroo throws the ball into the air, jumps, and hits it. Hard. Too hard actually, it goes sailing out of bounds.

“Shit,” he curses to himself. “Sorry guys.”

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll get the next one.” Yamamoto assures him.

Kenma gives his best friend a concerned look as the coach calls for a time out.

“Are you ok?” He asks him as they head over to the bench.

“Yeah I’m ok, don’t worry.”

In truth, he wasn’t ok. The way Bokuto so casually flirted with you earlier and the way you had laughed at whatever stupid thing he had said bothered Kuroo more than he would ever admit. And he knew it was ridiculous for that to bother him, you were both his friends and he wanted the two of you to be happy. If you were to get together, he knew that Bokuto would treat you right. But the thought of you with Bokuto, or anyone really, upset him because the one you should really be with was him. He would treat you so well, take care of you no matter what. He knew you better than anyone, with maybe the exception of Kenma. He knew what you wanted and what you needed and most importantly, he would love you more than anyone else ever could.

His mind was racing, to the point where he couldn’t even hear what coach was saying. He knew that he really had to focus but the only thing that was currently on his mind was you. That wasn’t really anything new but he could usually focus on volleyball whenever he was playing. He found himself looking for you, knowing you always sat in the same spot whether it was normal practice or a practice match. Front row right behind the bench. He looks at you just as coach finishes talking and the team begins to head back onto the court.

You give him a sweet smile and he feels his own smile spread across his face. Ah there it is, he thinks. The smile that lights up your face as well as the room and makes his heart race in the best way possible. He loved that smile.

He heads back to his position with a new focus on the game. He doesn’t even let his mind wander when he and Bokuto are staring each other down across the net. Your smile had been just for him, even if it was just a supportive one from one friend to another, but it had been enough to chase away the jealousy that had overtaken his mind earlier.

After the game, you said goodbye to Bokuto and Akaashi and waited for Kuroo and Kenma to come out of the locker room. As you waited, you thought back to the game. Kuroo had not been acting like himself, he seemed distracted and almost angry. You were worried that something was wrong but he seemed to get back on track after the time out. So maybe he was just too fired up at the beginning, it had happened before when they played Fukurodani. The competitive streak between him and Bokuto was always on full display when they played each other. Whatever it was, you were glad he had settled in after that.

You were roused from your thoughts when you heard a voice speak.

“Hello? Earth to chibi-chan.” Kuroo says as he waves a hand in front of your face.

“Oh sorry. What was that?”

“Kenma asked what you wanted to eat. Where were you?”

“Just spacing out. You guys took so long I was afraid I might fall asleep.” You tease them.

“Sorry about that,” Kenma says, “Lev called Yaku short again and we had to make sure that Yaku didn’t murder him.”

“I swear Lev must have a death wish to keep bringing that up.” You laugh.

“Yeah tell me about it. And I get stuck breaking it up because I’m the captain.” Kuroo says with a sigh. “It gets tiring.” “Aww but you’re such a good captain Tetsu, I’m sure the team appreciates everything you do for them.”

“They damn well better. Anyway, food. I’m starving.”

“How about we just get some take out and go play games back at my house? I’ve had enough intense activity for today.” Kenma says as the three of you leave campus together.

In the end, that’s exactly what you ended up doing. Now with full stomachs you’re all playing a game together.

“Damn it Tetsu! Stop saving all those fucking turtle shells for me, use one on Kenma for a change.”

“But you react so much more to it than him kitten, it’s far more entertaining.” Kuroo laughs.

“No. You don’t get to call me that when you keep knocking me off the road.”

Kuroo laughs more and you end up getting hit with yet another shell.

“I swear I’m going to kill you Tetsu!” You yell at him while giving him a little glare.

“You both suck at this game, so what does it matter?” Kenma says with his eyes fixed on the screen, his character lapping you for the third time.

“Shut up Kenny!” You throw a pillow at him and hit him in the back of the head causing him to drive off the road. “HA, now who sucks?”

Kenma turns and gives you a look that promises revenge.

“Oh shit.” You get your arms up just barely in time to cover your face from the pillow that Kenma has launched at you.

“Ok fine, two can play this game.” You say before throwing a pillow back at him, the two of you laughing as you take turns hitting each other.

Kuroo just watches the scene before him, well just you actually. He loves riling you up because your expressions are all so cute. Whether you’re laughing and smiling like now or pouting and scowling like you were before when he kept messing you up in the game, he loved them all.

He didn’t really want to admit it, not even to himself though it was undoubtedly true, but he was hopelessly in love with you. It had been a few years already since he first felt it and denied it, though if he was being completely honest with himself he’d had a crush on you since you were kids. But kids don’t really understand the meaning of that or at least he knew that he hadn’t. Still he had managed to act the same as he always did around you, leaving you none the wiser to his changing feelings towards you.

Even when he had first become friends with Bokuto, which led to you and Kenma becoming friends with him, he had managed to ignore the flirty way that Bokuto interacted with you. But now it had started to bother him. He just didn’t know why it now did. Ok he did know. He couldn’t lie to himself about his feelings for you anymore and there was a very real possibility that you could end up with Bokuto, the two of you got along so well and he wasn’t some jerk that you wouldn’t look twice at. So he couldn’t hold back his feelings but he couldn’t tell you either. What if he ruined everything? Too bad that didn’t stop the jealousy from rising up like it had before.

As he sat there staring, he heard his phone go off signaling the arrival of a new text message. Before he could pick it up off the floor next to him, however, he was nailed in the face by a pillow followed by your laugh. The laugh that was music to his ears.

“It’s your fault this whole thing started Tetsu, so don’t think you’re getting out of it.” You say to him.

“Oh you’re in for it now kitten.” Kuroo says with a smirk before hitting you with a pillow.

And so he was dragged into your pillow war as well.

Fifteen minutes later, the three of you were all out of breath from throwing pillows but also from all the laughing. You always loved the time you got to spend with these two men. You glance over at Kuroo who has a smile on his face as he catches his breath.

Oh how you loved that smile of his, how you loved everything about him really. You so badly just wanted to curl up in his lap and have him wrap his arms around you. Everything just felt so right when he would hug you, like you just belonged there, wrapped up in his arms.

Of course that wasn’t likely to happen, he was super popular with the ladies and could have his pick of any one of them. He didn’t even have to make a move. Girls were always asking him out on dates but he would always turn them down. You figured he was just too preoccupied with volleyball and his studies. Still whenever you heard that yet another girl had asked him out, you would feel a pain in your chest and your stomach would churn as you waited to hear if he had said yes because you knew that one of these days he would. Just the thought of it devastated you but you knew that you would have to deal with it when it happened because you wanted him to be happy.

Yeah happy with me, the little voice in the back of your head supplied. You know that you would love him more than any other girl could because you already did and you would take such good care of him too. But you couldn’t risk it. What if he didn’t feel the same and it ended up ruining your friendship? You couldn’t lose him from your life and so you remained quiet about your feelings.

You tear your gaze away from Kuroo and see your phone blinking. Unlocking it you see that you have new messages. From Bokuto.

“Oh hey guys, Ko wants to know if we want to hang out on Saturday. Also he told me to tell you that before you say anything, he texted you first Tetsu but you didn’t answer.” You say to him as he picks up his phone to check.

“So he did.” Kuroo replies.

“It’s fine with me as long as we don’t do too much, he has way too much energy.” Kenma chimes in.

“Well you’re not wrong there.” You chuckle.

“Yeah ok.” Kuroo adds.

“Do you want to text him and let him know Tetsu? Or should I?”

“I’m sure he’d rather hear from you than me, so you can do it.” He says a bit more sharply than intended.

You raise an eyebrow but just shrug your shoulders and message Bokuto back.

Kuroo makes his way to your house. It had been decided that they would all go there and watch movies.

You lived alone now after your grandmother had passed away in your first year of college. She had left the house to you as well as whatever inheritance she had. He didn’t know where your parents were and he had asked you about them once but you said that you didn’t know where they were either. Your grandmother was all the family you’d had.

It had been two years already since she passed. He remembered how upset you had been and how he and Kenma had stayed with you every night for a month. They helped you with anything you needed and took turns holding you as you cried. They also made sure you were taking care of yourself and they tried to keep you busy, hoping that it would help you with your grieving process and it had helped. He was happy that he had been able to be there for you and help you heal.

That was also when he realized for the first time just how hard he had fallen for you. When he saw you cry his heart shattered and he wanted nothing more than to wipe your tears away, kiss them away really, and see you happy and smiling once more. He never wanted to see you cry again. He had no idea if you felt that way about him though and so he went back to denying and suppressing.

Kuroo reaches your house and hears humming coming from the backyard. He pushes open the gate and finds you watering the garden. Your grandmother had started it when you were all younger and now you took care of it.

“Hey chibi-chan. The garden looks great.”

“Hey Tetsu” You happily greet him with a smile as you put the hose away.

There it was again that smile, his smile. He was certain that you didn’t smile at anyone else like that, not even Bokuto. But maybe that was just him hoping that was the case.

You come over to him and give him a big hug. He breathes in the coconut scent of your shampoo. He loved that smell, you’d used it for so long now and it was just so undeniably you. If he ever smelled it elsewhere it would immediately bring you to the forefront of his mind. You separate from him sooner than he would’ve liked but Kenma and Bokuto had arrived and so you went over to greet them.

The night went by in a blur for Kuroo. There was food and movies, a couple of games, and you had all chatted about whatever. The only thing he could focus on, however, was the way that Bokuto looked at you, the way he made you laugh, the way he touched your arm and he felt that jealousy bubble up again. All he could think was that should be me. Why can’t I just tell her?

Because you could ruin everything if you did, the sabotaging voice in the back of his head told him.

He needed to get his mind off of you, needed to distract himself from his feelings for you. But do I really want to? He was unsure, that was until he saw Bokuto give you an innocent little kiss on the cheek when he left later on. It was no different than the friendly kisses on the cheek you would get from Kenma but it made him angry. And he knew it shouldn’t so he decided then that he did need to find a way to distract himself from his feelings for you.

It had been a couple of weeks since the movie night at your house and Kuroo had been acting strange ever since. He didn’t hang out with you as much as he usually did and when he did hang out he acted distant. Things you would say or do that would normally have him laughing hysterically, now didn’t even really get a response like he wasn’t even paying attention.

What was wrong with him? Did I do something to upset him? You had no idea but it was breaking your heart little by little. Now you were sitting in Kenma’s room, playing a game with him.

“Do you know what Tetsu’s problem is?”

“Not sure. He hasn’t talked to me about it but I don’t think his new girlfriend is helping.”

“Girlfriend?” You ask with surprise.

This was the first you’d heard of it and you felt your stomach lurch, threatening to spill its contents.

“Yeah. I guess she asked him out a couple of weeks ago and he said yes but she isn’t a nice person so I don’t know why he’s dating her.”

“Am I not worthy of hearing about this? I mean we’re supposed to be best friends.”

“He didn’t tell you? That’s weird.”

“I’m going to text that jerk right now.”

You pick up your phone, open the text thread, and send him a message.

You: “You have a girlfriend? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Tetsu: “Oh yeah. I guess I forgot.”

You: “Forgot? We’re best friends and you just forgot?”

Tetsu: “Yeah, sorry.”

You: “Well do I ever get to meet her?”

Tetsu: “I guess. Are you at Kenma’s? We can stop by there before we go out.”

You: “Yeah I am.”

Tetsu: “See you in a little bit then.”

You put your phone to the side.

“They’re coming over here. Sorry Kenny.”

“It’s fine but you’re going to hate her.” He responds as he continues to play his game.

Ten minutes later you hear a voice come from Kenma’s bedroom door.

“Oh wow, is this really your room Kenma? Are you sure you’re old enough to be in college? Because it looks like a 12 year old lives here.” Kuroo’s girlfriend says.

Your eyes widen at how rude she just was. She’s pretty but Kenma is right she isn’t very nice.

Kenma just rolls his eyes and ignores her as he continues to play.

“Haha, yeah Kenma loves his games.” Kuroo laughs but you can tell it’s one of those fake ones people do when they’re embarrassed. “Anyway this is my girlfriend, gf/n.”

You decide that you will do your best to be nice for Kuroo’s sake.

“Hi, I’m Tetsu’s frien—“ Before you can finish speaking she cuts you off.

“Yeah, yeah I know who you are.” She shoots you a glare. “Ok I met her. Can we leave now? I don’t want to look at this bitch anymore.” She says with disgust.

You see annoyance flicker across Kuroo’s face at her words.

Oh hell no is she getting away with that, you think.

“Excuse me? What the fuck did you just call me? If there’s a bitch in here then it’s clearly your rude ass.” You get up off the bed where you were sitting and go to approach her only for Kenma to stop you.

“Calm down.” He says as he wraps his arms around you, hugging you to him to keep you in place.

“Yeah ok. Let’s go.” Kuroo says as he leads her away from you and out the front door.

Once they’re gone, Kenma lets you go.

“I told you that you were going to hate her. She’s rude to everyone.”

You clench your fists and let out a frustrated shriek.

“What a fucking bitch! Why the fuck is he dating someone like that?”

“I’m not sure.” He tells you though the look in his eyes suggests otherwise, still you decide not to press him for an answer.

Kuroo sits on his couch. It had been a week since he’d introduced you to his girlfriend, gf/n. Ugh, that didn’t even sound right to him. The only one he wanted to call his girlfriend was you.

Why was he even dating her? Oh right, to forget he’s in love with you. Too bad it’s not working. It’s making him think about you even more actually because he can’t help but compare the two of you.

She was pretty. You were beautiful.

You were sweet, kind, thoughtful, caring, funny, and smart. She had been nothing but rude and nasty to everyone, including him a few times.

You fit so perfectly in his arms like it was where you were meant to be, He had to stop himself from pushing her off of him when she would hug him and he would always come up with an excuse to dodge having to kiss her.

He felt an ache in his chest with every beat of his heart as he thought about you. He’d been acting like such a jerk to you too since he started dating her. He knew he needed to break up with her, you were right, she was a rude bitch.

A knock on his door stirs Kuroo from his thoughts. He gets up and opens it, on the other side stands Kenma. He glances around before he speaks.

“Is she here?”

“Who? Oh, gf/n? No, I’m supposed to meet her later.” Kuroo tells him and lets him into the house.

“Good. We need to talk Kuroo.”

“What’s up?”

“First of all, you’re being a jerk to y/n. She’s supposed to be one of your best friends yet you’ve done nothing but blow her off and ignore her. It’s messed up.” He looks right into Kuroo’s eyes as he says it.

Kuroo flinches slightly at Kenma’s words despite already knowing it was the truth.

“Second of all, you need to get rid of that bitch you’re calling a girlfriend. She’s not a nice person. She’s rude to everyone. The team doesn’t want her to come anywhere near them so tell her to stay away or you’re going to have a problem on your hands.”

“Ok fine. I’ll tell her not to come to practices anymore. She’ll probably be happy about that actually.”

“And lastly, not only is she rude to all of us but she gets downright nasty with y/n. I have to keep stopping her from punching your “girlfriend” in the face.” He says, using air quotes when saying girlfriend. “The other day we were eating lunch together and your “girlfriend” came over to us. She ignored me completely which I was fine with but she had the nerve to insult your other best friend. You remember her, right?”

He winces at Kenma’s words.

“The bitch told y/n to stay away from you and that you didn’t want anything to do with her anymore.”

Kuroo lets out a groan and pinches the bridge of his nose as Kenma continues to speak.

“I’m not really sure what you’re thinking but deal with it instead of running away from it.”

Being called out on his bullshit causes Kuroo to get defensive.

“I’m not running away from anything and her name isn’t bitch, it’s gf/n.”

Kenma lets out a derisive laugh.

“Yeah, funny how that’s all you call her by, her name. Don’t people usually have pet names for their girlfriends? Like kitten?” He pretends to think. “Or maybe, chibi-chan?” He gives Kuroo a pointed look before leaving.

“Damn it! What the fuck am I doing?” He says to the emptiness of the room after Kenma’s departure.

Damn Kenma’s observational skills. He loved them on the volleyball court but not when they were used against him.

I can’t just let him think he can read me so easily so I won’t. He had his pride and he could be stubborn when he wanted to be. He was not going to let Kenma know how easily he had seen right through him.

Kuroo looks at the clock and sighs. Time to get ready to see his “girlfriend.”

The following Saturday you were sitting in your living room with Kenma and Bokuto. You invited them over to watch movies again and had hoped Kuroo would come too.

“Is Kuroo coming?” Bokuto asks.

You sigh.

“No. I invited him but he said he had plans with that bitch.”

That was her name now as far as you were concerned after the multiple times she had gone out of her way to be nasty to you.

“Why is he still with her? I thought he was supposed to be smart. He must know that she isn’t worth his time. I saw her screaming at him outside the gym last week when we went there for another practice match so she isn’t even nice to him. Did you talk to him?”

“I did.” Kenma answers. “He didn’t listen, obviously. Though thankfully she stays away from the team now. I think that’s what she was screaming at him about actually, I heard some of it. Apparently we’re jealous of how happy she makes him or some nonsense and he should stop being friends with us.”

“He didn’t really respond to her from what I saw when I walked by, he didn’t even see me.” Bokuto says.

“Yeah he just stood there and let her scream. He really needs to get rid of her.”

“Are you serious? She just screamed at him? I swear I will knock that bitch out for treating him like that. I’m going to corner his ass after practice on Monday and try to talk some sense into him. Maybe he needs to hear it from someone a little louder.”

“Yeah you tell him kitty cat.” Bokuto cheers.

“Oh I will. Don’t worry. Now let’s pick something to watch.”

True to your word, there you were Monday after practice waiting for Kuroo to emerge from the locker room. Once he came out, you grabbed his wrist and dragged him along to the now empty gym.

“Why did you drag me in here?”

“Because we need to talk. Look I’m just going to say it, you need to dump that nasty bitch.”

Kuroo sighs.

“Look just because you don’t like her doesn’t mean I should dump her.”

“That isn’t even it. She isn’t even a nice person. You deserve someone so much better than her. Someone who is sweet and caring like you. Someone who is smart and funny like you. Someone who will take care of you and treat you like the amazing guy that you are. Someone who will love you for you. And I’m sorry but that isn’t her. You deserve someone who makes you smile and happy every day not someone who screams at you and treats you and all of the people you care about like shit. You’d be so much better off without her Tetsu.”

Kuroo listens to all you have to say. You were right of course. He knew this. He knew it before Kenma had even spoken to him. It had been nothing more than an experiment and it had failed miserably. Maybe that made him a jerk for using someone like that but he had gone into it genuinely hoping that he could find someone else he liked. He should have known that it would never work though, he was way too in love with you. Even if he had found a sweet girl who he liked he still would never have been able to be with anyone but you.

This had all taken way too long for him to truly understand. He had just been way too worried, or maybe it was scared, that it would all blow up in his face and so he did exactly what Kenma said. He tried running from it instead of dealing with it and now here he was. His feelings for you had only grown more intense and it was just his sheer stubbornness that was preventing him from doing what needed to be done.

He felt beat up and drained from this “relationship.” He needed to get out and he needed to tell you how he felt.

Your voice brings him back to reality.

“Tetsu, I’m one of your best friends, I want you to be happy. And I’m not the only one who’s worried about you either. All the rest of your friends are too, Kenma, the guys on the team.”

He knew it was true that you and Kenma and everyone else were concerned about him. He knew it was time to end this before it got even worse and it was already terrible.

“Even Bokuto is worried about you. He doesn’t even see you as often as the rest of us but he knows you’re not happy.”

Bokuto, yes he must have gotten together with you by now, he thought as he remembered all the laughs and flirtation that went on between the two of you. He told himself he could be happy for you both, you were his friends, even if it also broke his heart. And yet he still felt the slightest glimmer of hope that maybe he still had a chance. It was that little bit of hope that was keeping the jealousy he felt simmering in his gut from rising up. That is until you blindsided him.

“He agrees with the rest of us, how you deserve someone better. We were talking about it the other day when he came over my house.”

His mouth went dry and he could hear his heart thudding in his ears. Bokuto had been at your house. Alone with you. He felt his stomach drop and his heart clench as his mind wandered, led astray by the jealousy that he’d only had a tenuous grip on.

What had the two of you been doing in your house? Cuddling? Kissing? Had he touched you? Had the two of you done something even more?

He couldn’t control it, the jealousy had taken over and his anger surged. He was more angry at himself than anything else, he’d lost his chance because he had been too chicken to tell you his true feelings. Unfortunately, he let it come out and he directed it straight at you.

“Is that all? Why are you even here? Just to lecture me? Shouldn’t you be under Bokuto somewhere instead?”

Your mouth drops open at his words. Had he really just said that to you?

“What the fuck did you just say?” You feel your pulse quicken as your own anger rises.

“Oh I’m sorry, is it Kenma’s turn then?” He replies in a mocking tone.

Your anger surges and before you even realize what’s happening, your fist connects with your best friend’s face. You didn’t even register the pain in your hand when you shoved him after.

“I came here because I care about you and I’m worried about you and that’s what you say to me? Go to hell Kuroo.”

You turn and run from the gym refusing to let him see the tears that had begun running down your cheeks.

Kuroo regretted it all as soon as he said it. Regretted it even more when you punched him in the face. Who knew you had such a vicious right hook? But the fact that you called him Kuroo instead of Tetsu hurt him more than any punch to the face could. You hadn’t called him that since you first met when you were kids. He had fucked up badly and all because he couldn’t be honest with you or himself. This whole situation could have been avoided.

He knew he deserved all of it though, including the black eye you’d given him. That had been three days ago now and he hadn’t even caught a glimpse of you since. He ended up dumping his “girlfriend” that night and it was like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He would have felt happier than he had in a month if he hadn’t said what he did to you.

He should never have let it go on for as long as he had, maybe he could have gotten his chance with you. Instead he was lamenting the fact that he had hurt the one person he loved more than anyone, the one he had never wanted to hurt. What a fool he had been.

Laying on his bed, he stares up at the ceiling when he hears a familiar yet less cheery than normal voice enter the room.

“Hey” Bokuto says as he stands in the doorway and leans against the frame.

“What do you want?” Kuroo asks in a somber tone.

“What did you say to her bro? She was so pissed but I think she was more sad than anything.”

Kuroo feels his heart clench at the thought that he had made you sad. Your anger he would gladly take. But your tears? He couldn’t handle that.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Look I know she went to talk to you about, uh, gf/n. Right? Anyway, she’s just worried about you and so are the rest of us. She isn’t a good person for you, she’ll just drag you down. You deserve b—“

He cuts Bokuto off.

“I deserve better than her? Yeah well unfortunately the one who’s best for me is with you.” Kuroo says in a dejected tone.

Bokuto furrows his brow in confusion.

“What are you talking about?”

“You know who I’m talking about, you’re always flirting with her and shit. Congrats, I’m happy for you. Just make sure you treat her well.”

“Wait, do you think y/n and I are a couple? Just because I say flirty stuff to her? That’s just for fun, it’s not serious. Besides why would that bother you…oh I get it now. You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

“What difference does it make? You can stop lying to make me feel better. I know you spend time at her house, she told me herself that you were there the other day. I’m sure you two got really close while you were alone together.”

“Dude, seriously? We watched movies and I wasn’t alone with her. Kenma was there too, you can go ask him yourself. I’ll just wait for you to come apologize to me afterwards for being such an idiot. Don’t worry I’ll forgive you because I’m a great guy like that.” Bokuto tells him before flashing a confident grin and leaving Kuroo’s house.

After Bokuto leaves, Kuroo goes rushing over to Kenma’s house and bursts into his room where he finds him playing a game. Kenma glances away from the screen at Kuroo’s entrance before looking back at it.

“You were at her house with Bokuto?” He asks, slightly out of breath from running over.

“Wow, you’re so dumb Kuroo. I thought you were supposed to be so smart. Yes I was there with Bokuto and you should have been too but you blew her off again and went out with your “girlfriend” instead.”

“Shit! I can’t believe I forgot about that.” Kuroo says as he sits on Kenma’s bed and puts his head in his hands.

“Yeah, well, you were preoccupied. Where is the bitch anyway?”

“How should I know? I dumped her three days ago.”

“Well that’s good at least. Honestly you should have just told y/n that you loved her from the start, geez.”

“I know but I was too scared that she might reject me and then never want to talk to me again.”

“You know that she would never do that, she cares about you too much.”

“I know that I should have dumped that girl after you talked to me too but I didn’t like how easily you saw through me and I didn’t want you to know that you were right. I really am dumb.”

Kuroo lets out a sorrowful sigh.

“Do you think she’ll ever forgive me, Kenma?”

“Of course she will but you better beg for her forgiveness and finally tell her the truth.”

Two more days passed and Kuroo had apologized to Bokuto for being an idiot and Bokuto forgave him just like he said that he would.

You, however, had expertly evaded all of his attempts to get ahold of you and he was starting to wonder if he’d ever even see you again let alone talk to you. He still hadn’t caught a single glance of you, you wouldn’t answer his calls or respond to his messages, when he went to your house you would ignore him.

As he left his tenth message of the day for you, he made his way over to Kenma’s house. When he entered his friend’s room, he was greeted with his first glimpse of you in nearly a week.

“Sorry Kenny, I have to go.” You say as you get up and head for the door but before you could leave Kuroo catches you by the wrist.

“Wait chibi-chan.”

You just look down and shake him off before disappearing out the front door.

“She told me what you said to her. You fucked up so bad Kuroo. You totally deserved that black eye.”

“Yeah I know I did. But how am I supposed to talk to her and apologize if she doesn’t want to be anywhere near me?”

“I don’t know but you better figure out something before you lose your chance for good.”

Tears roll down your cheeks as you water your garden. You didn’t know what else to do after you fled Kenma’s house. You weren’t even sure how you felt anymore, aside from sad at the whole situation. Sad about what had happened between you and Kuroo, you knew he couldn’t have meant what he said he was just upset but it still hurt you, and sad that he was dating someone so awful. He was far too kind, thoughtful, and caring to be with someone as vile as that girl. Most of all you just missed him, your best friend, the sweet goofy guy that you had fallen madly in love with.

You swipe at your cheeks to rid them of the tears when you hear that voice, the one that you loved so much.

“Hey chibi-chan, can we please talk?” Kuroo asks. Closing the gate behind him, he approaches you.

You stop watering and look at him.

“Are you even allowed to? What would your “girlfriend” say?”

Just as you are about to put the hose down and go into your house, locking him out, his voice stops you.

“I dumped her. You were right, you all were. I was just being stubborn or stupid. Maybe both.”

“Definitely both. I’m glad you started thinking with your brain again instead of something else.”

Kuroo laughs to himself.

“Yeah, funny thing is I never even kissed her. Forget about anything else.”

“Wait. Are you serious?”

“Yeah. There’s only one person I want to kiss and it wasn’t her.”

Before you can process what he just said, he rushes on.

“I am so sorry kitten. I never should have said what I did. I didn’t mean it at all. I know you’re not like that.” He moves in front of you and gets on his knees. “Please forgive me, I’m begging you. I wouldn’t be able to handle losing you.”

He looks up at you with pleading eyes and remorse written all over his face.

“You hurt me when you said that shit Tetsu.”

He felt some relief at hearing his name, at least he wasn’t Kuroo anymore.

“I know I did. Let me make it up to you. I’ll do anything. You can punch me again if you want, which by the way where the hell did you learn to hit like that?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“You didn’t mean it?” You ask even though you already know he didn’t.

“No, of course not.” He says before mumbling under his breath, “I was just being stupid.”

“What was that?” You ask having not quite caught what he just said.

“Nothing. Please forgive me chibi-chan. I need you in my life.”

You let out a sigh. You knew he was being genuine and you loved him too much to not forgive him.

“Well lucky for you, I don’t want to lose you either. You’re too important to me.”

Kuroo’s face brightens.

“Does that mean you forgive me?”

“That depends. Are you back to being my Tetsu? Or are you still the jerk that you’ve been for the past month?”

“I’m your Tetsu, I promise kitten.”

“Hmm..” You pretend to be lost in thought looking at him before a mischievous grin breaks out across your face.

Kuroo raises an eyebrow at you and then you’re spraying him with the hose you still have in your hand.

“Oops, my finger slipped.” You laugh as he shakes his arms to get some of the water off.

“Oh you’re going to pay for that.”

You let out a little shriek when he rises to his feet. You drop the hose and run.

Kuroo chases you around your yard, both of your laughs echoing off of the nearby trees. It doesn’t take long before you feel a pair of strong arms wrap around your waist, lift you up, and spin you around. This causes the both of you to fall onto the soft grass. You land on your back and Kuroo somehow manages to land on top of you, using his forearms to brace himself so he doesn’t crush you.

Hovering above you, he stares deeply into your eyes with a serious intensity.

“I want to kiss you so badly. I have for a while now.” He glances to your lips before returning his gaze to your eyes.

Your eyes widen with his confession, your heart racing in your chest.

“So what’s stopping you then?”

A big smile spreads across Kuroo’s face and then he’s pressing his lips tenderly against yours.

You lose yourself in the kiss, lips parting slightly allowing him to slip his tongue inside your mouth and begin a dance with yours. Your one hand finds its way into his hair while the other one rests against the back of his neck. Your heart pounds and your mind races. How many times had you imagined what his kiss would feel like? A countless number it seemed and yet the real thing was so much better than anything you had ever imagined.

You could feel all the love and care he was pouring into this kiss and you did the same. It seemed like hours and yet seconds at the same time when he separated from your mouth.

“I’m so in love with you chibi-chan. You fit so perfectly in my arms and I know that it’s where you belong. I want nothing more than to hold you close each and every day. I’m just sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I was afraid that I might lose you if you didn’t feel the same. I’m a dumbass.”

“Oh Tetsu, I’ve been in love with you for a while now and I thought the same damn thing as you. So I guess we’re both dumbasses.” You let out a chuckle and he does too.

“I guess we are, but that doesn’t matter now. Will you be mine chibi-chan?”

“Nothing would make me happier.”

“Good then I’m going to hold you close every day. You’re mine and I’m yours from now on.” He says with a smile.

“Always and forever, my Tetsu.” You say with a smile before he captures your lips once more in another loving kiss.

#kuroo #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro #haikyuu kuroo #haikyuu!!#haikyū!!

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plotscribbler · 3 years

Text

NSFW story time:

It was a long double at my old restaurant job. I had come back to pick up a few shifts here and there to help me have some pocket money while I got on my feet in my new home some 2 hours away.

My girlfriend got a great new job in a new town and I wasn't transitioning well. I usually welcome change but it was hard to leave the team I had, not to mention shift beers. I poured myself a tall one and sat in a booth on the patio waiting for the manager to lock up and give me ok to leave for the night.

I had another double the next day so my plan was to find a decent parking spot and pass out in the van.

I told the other closer she could leave early as it was a calm night and honestly I reveled in getting even just a few minutes to chat with Cassandra (the manager) before she cuts me off the free beer. Cass is a tom-boyish burnette, who's about 5'4" or so, and her body is that of a Pixar mom: an athletic yet curvy shape with so much ass you can see it from the front.

I'm a flirtatious guy (probably how I ended up as a server in the first place) but to be quite honest it's a miracle I haven't been fired or dumped for the things I say to Cass. She probably doesn't take me seriously, I mean how else do I manage to get nights like this where we're all alone? She's having a glass of wine and I'm keeper of a never ending pint. What could go wrong?

In my typical cringe fashion I offer her a spot at my table "because she's too beautiful to be drinking alone" and she ignores that (while sitting down at my table) before going on a long winded rant about her kids stressing her out before she could even get ready for work.

Which was extra stressful because of how her cat always wakes her up at night to use the window by her bed as a way out to go do cat business.

"The only cat business anyone should have in relation to that window; is getting onto the bed, and in between your thighs"

"hah! I wish"

"Bet! Finish your wine."

"what?"

"I'll follow you home, climb through your window and be gone before sunrise"

"I have kids you idiot" she punches my shoulder "they're gonna hear you climb into the house and if not, they'd definitely hear whatever pervery you think you can concoct in the middle of a school night. Not to mention the neighbors..."

Looking out towards the parking lot Cass pulls a cigarette from her purse.

"Hey, look at me." I pause until we make eye contact "I am 100% consenting to, and capable of..." I pause to feel calm collected and cool before continuing "- tying you up, gagging you, and fucking your brains out."

We both smile "All while pretending to climb in through your window to fulfill your rape-fantasy in a safe way that avoids prying neighbors"

She take a long drag of her cig, looking back out at the parking lot.

"Well?"

With a long exhale "I didn't tell you about my window as some kind of a hint."

"Listen, whether or not you like being taken, I would be much happier to share your bed than to sleep in my van alone."

We sit in silence for a moment. Cass staring off into the distance while I drink my pint and stare at her.

Turning to face me as she ashes her cigarette "What would you even use to tie me up with anyway?"

"The wrappings of love"

"Don't be an ass" she hits my shoulder again, harder this time "what if I were considering to indulge in your lustful insistence for a moment? Huh! How about that! What if that was your chance and you blew it!?"

"Wow, the thought of giving away control, even if only for a moment, it's insidious isn't it?" I smile again "Oh... to be honest I have soft 25' rope somewhere in the van, but my belt works fine in a pinch, might use both if you keep throwing punches at me."

"Honestly, you talk a lot of shit and the thought of humiliating you, if you can't follow through with half the nonsense that comes out of your perverted mouth, is insidious." She finishes her wine "come on!" she stands up.

"Let's go!" I cheer.

"We're not going to my house"

"Oh?"

"No, I'm not taking you home. Show me this rope"

"Alright"

We walk over to the van, in a particularly shady corner of the lot, the back half of said van is packed almost ceiling high with my music equipment I forgot to unload during the move. Part of me is thinking she's gonna troll me, so I try to make like of the situation.

"I'm not gonna tie you up in the parking lot"

"Duh, I just wanna see it."

"You're testing me? We've known each other for 4 years... I'm not a stranger!"

"No, but you say a lot of bullshit, let's say I'm just fact-checking you right now..."

I dig through the music gear in the back (knowing it's not there) "looks like you're in luck, I couldn't tie you up if I wanted to..."

"ugh, see..."

"See what? It's not like you'd consent if I did have it!"

"If you could find the rope I would let you tie my hands behind my back, but you mysteriously can't" Cass says, crossing her arms defiantly.

"You would let me rope your arms behind your back?"

"Sure! Why not? Maybe I will like it!"

"Ok, let me look in the secret hiding spot behind the driver seat." I close the hatch and open up the sliding door. There's a panel on the floor and when I open it Cass gasps.

"Gotcha!" I exclaim.

"Ok, yeah, you got me" she turns her back to me and stretches her arms out behind her. "Tie me up"

"Turn around."

"What?"

"You're not a prisoner of war, this is an intimate thing."

I close the sliding door as Cass faces me.

"Intimate? How-"

"Shhh..." I put a finger to her lips as her chocolate irises lock with my hazel ones "I'm going to take control of you now. Just say ok."

"Ok fi-oh!" she gasps as I grab her by the hips and put her up against the door of the van.

I steal the first kiss on her lips then break away, pressing her against the car with my hand on her chest. Lifting the rope over her shoulder with a flick of my other wrist I see her uncertainty.

"Be still. Do nothing unless I say so, you are perfect."

Cass' eyes light up like she'd never heard that before, like I just opened more possibility than even she knew was available.

I turn her around, pressing my hips against hers, making the rope loops over her shoulder and behind her back then mirroring this over her other shoulder.

"I thought you were going to tie my hands?"

"I'll get there" as I start to lace a knotting pattern from her left arm to her right and back again. Slowly bringing her elbows parallel to each other.

"By the time your wrists are bound you will be ensnared... all mine!" I say with a smirk "I am here to take good care of you."

"Ok, actually this does feel pretty nice, my back needed a stretch anyway..."

"I want you to let go of the control you assume day in and day out and be free. Be mine."

"You're not gonna make me call you daddy are you?"

"No, to be honest, I like being called master or god, because I have an ego that is spoiled rotten, but I wouldn't want something like this to make our work relationship impossible"

"Oh my, that's tight, will you take a picture when you're done? I wanna see."

"Just relax." as I pull her wrists together and tie the final knot "You're all tied up"

I snap a picture with my phone and lean into her from behind to show her.

"Wow this posture really forces my boobs up and out, not that you can see it from this angle"

"Yes, you look incredibly beautiful"

She grabs at my jeans "what are you gonna do now?" Grinding her butt against me.

I pin her to the van with my chest against her arms and whisper in her ear "the way you're tied up right here" rubbing her arm "is the same way I'm tied up in this parking lot." I can't help but bite her ear and smell her thick espresso colored hair "I want your lust, I want your body, and I want dominion over you"

I run my hands from the loops over her shoulders to the small space of skin on her forearms.

"Fuck...." she says with bated breath "Take me"

I wanted to tease her more, but I honestly didn't expect to get this far in even my wildest of fantasies.

Cass was already pulling at my belt, even with her hands bound behind her back she couldn't help but fight to have things her way.

"No" I push her against the van so she can't reach "You're mine right now, you do as I say."

Cass moans with mixed frustration and enjoyment, then she flips her hair into my face "why don't you make me?" wiggling that wonderfully voluptuous backside tauntingly with a wink and smile.

I know what she wanted.

So I spanked her...

This woman has so much ass, her hands weren't even a little bit in the way. I took a handful with the first smack and it was like holding the holy grail.

She cooed, making fists doomed to dangle helplessly amidst an array of slaps on her butt.

"You."

**smack**

"Honestly."

**whip**

"Thought."

**whack**

"That I."

**pop**

"Would just fuck you in this parking lot??" **crack**

"YES!" her voice echoes out in the otherwise quiet and empty space.

We both pause to appreciate the possibility of someone hearing us. I take that moment to unbuckle my belt.

"Fine, I will."

"Do you have a condom?"

"What, you mean you don't want another kid?"

"Don't even joke about that."

I'm pulling her leggings down to her ankles "I only have two packs of 3" then I'm kissing the back of her calf, up her thigh, around a pinkish red handprint, then over to her waist "so I might need a couple more if you don't mind waiting here for me"

"With my arms tied and my pale ass out for the whole wide world to see? No thanks"

"It's decently red now" my jeans fall to the floor

"I know! God..." she inhales when I feel how wet she is "I did not expect you to spank me so hard"

"You liked it" I put my dick up to her hands, letting her get an idea of what I'm going to put inside her.

"I loved it." Cass puts her bodyweight against the van, poking her ass out and spreading her legs.

I thrust along the lips of her dripping pussy while she whispers to me "will you please put a condom on already?"

I smack her clit a couple times with the tip just to hear her groan and clench her eyes shut tight.

"Put. A. Condom. On!" she growls at me impatiently before biting her lower lip.

Seeing my manager like this is giving my life new meaning. I open the driver's door to pull out one of the afore mentioned packs and put one on, leaving the rest on the roof of the van.

The secret ingredient is definitely the crime of it all. I've been shamelessly hitting on my manager since we met, and now I can't help but take my sweet ass time sliding up inside Cassandra on the edge of the parking lot outside of our job.

I always imagined a hotel room or her kitchen, never outside! Not to mention she wanted to get tied up and spanked first! *chef's kiss*

The way she gasps as I push in every inch I have for the first time gives me goosebumps. Her body feels like caramel tastes: you can't quite get enough, but almost can.

I grab her waist on both sides, feeling for that V line at the top of her wonderfully thick thighs.

"Let's start real slow beautiful" I pull back just as patiently, leaving only the tip still inside.

"I love it when you call me beautiful, I don't always feel that way..." she says, gyrating her hips towards me, making me feel like I could already explode!

Wrapping one arm around her belly and sliding the other all the way up her body to take hold of her cappuccino hair "I'm gonna love every illustrious inch of you"

I pin her against the van again, forcing her to take my love at my slow pace but it's like she can't help but push back.

Cassandra quivers with pleasure when I rub her neck. Her eyes widen with worry yet her toes curl so hard they crack when I give her neck a squeeze. "Why are you so goddamned amazing!?" she asks aloud between gasps of air and kisses.

That sends me over the top! "Fuck, ...fuck I'm coming!"

"Oh... see, it's good you have more condoms."

Still thrusting out of a burning

desire to not let this moment end "Here, I'm gonna untie you before I put another one on."

"Already?"

"Yeah, I don't want you to lose circulation"

"No, that's fine, I mean you're already putting another condom on?"

"No way am I done after just 1... did you even come yet?"

"No but I'm pretty close"

"Ok then, get in and lay down" I gesture to the middle seats of the van.

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noladyme · 4 years

Text

The Crown Princess of Charming - part 10

Welcome to Charming - its name says it all. Cat needed a fresh start; and though she hadn’t planned on that being in the arms of the crown prince of this little town’s bikerclub - that was what happened. Charming CA would either be the death of her - or a whole new life.

Rated M

Tags (let me know if you want on the list) @wonderlandfandomkingdom @edonaspanca

We spent the next few days trying to figure out how to be a family. I was well aware – probably even more so than Jax – that this wasn’t just going to be as easy, as me moving my stuff into the house. Jackson was constantly trying to make me take up more space on the shelves. He even cleared out more space in the closet; throwing out old shirts – and the stained boilersuit. “You’re right. You don’t want to know”, he’d chuckled.

Monday afternoon, he found me on the living room floor; sorting papers and old art projects. “You know; I could get you a desk”, he said. “I don’t know if I’ll need one again”, I muttered. He sat down next to me; and took a drawing pad from my hands; going through the sketches on the pages of it. “You will. If it’s not for the school, it’ll be something else”. I shook my head. “I don’t want anything else…”, I said quietly.

He squeezed my healing knee gently. “What about dance?”, he tried. I sputtered a laugh. “You want me back on stage, in front of other men – and women; for that matter?”. He narrowed his eyes at me. “You never told me about any women…”, he muttered. I shrugged. “Like I said… I have a past”, I smirked. He looked down. “Is… that a problem?”, I said. He seemed to have to think about it. “I mean… no?”, he said. I frowned. “It’s a problem”, I whispered. He put an arm around my shoulder. “Just another thing I’m learning about you”, he smiled softly. ”Besides, I’ve produced enough porn to know that two women together is not a bad thing”. His smile became a smirk. I raised a brow at him. “No threesomes”, I said pointedly. He laughed. “Wouldn’t want to share you either way”, he grinned. I leant against his shoulder. “I don’t care who you’ve been with. You’re here now”.

I chewed my lip. “Am I, though?”, I said. “Who am I in this? Am I just your old lady?... I need more”. “I know”, he said. “But seriously, though. Why not take up dancing again?”. I sighed. “Old lady, step mom, and gogo-dancer?”. “Burlesque”, he grinned. I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’d be in my underwear in front of whoever paid an entry-fee”, I said. “You’d be good with that?”. Jax shrugged. “Opie deals with it”, he said. “Yeah. I’ve seen the way he winces every time Lyla talks about work”, I said. Jax frowned. “You wouldn’t be taking dildos up your ass”. I grimaced. “Sorry…”, he chuckled. “Look, I just want you to be happy”.

I kissed his cheek. “I know… I’m sorry. I’m not exactly being the bubbly girlfriend you’d expect me to be – having just moved in, and all…”. Jackson sighed. “Come here…”, he said; and pulled me into his arms. “These last few weeks have been crazy. You’ve been beat; drugged; arrested; and almost…”. Anger ghosted his face, and he couldn’t finish the sentence. “I don’t… I can’t let that ruin everything”, I said quietly. “You’re not ruining anything, Cat”, he said. “You’re dealing with it. Just let me help you”. “You are”, I said. “You’re paying Lowen for me… which I hate”. He frowned. “Why?”. “Because I don’t like not making my own money, and paying my own dues!”, I said. “I’ve always been able to handle myself”. He smiled. “We’re a team, darlin’”, he said. “There ain’t no I in team”. I put two fingers into my mouth, and made a gagging noise.

Jackson laughed, and took my hand. “Look, we’re a family. Ok?”, he said earnestly. “I take care of you; you take care of me”. “And how do I take care of you?”, I said – immediately regretting the question; when I saw his playful grin. “You took care of me twice, this morning…”, he leered. I looked at him incredulously. “You realize that makes me sound like your own personal call-girl, right?”. “I don’t mind a bit of role-play”, he smiled.

I tried to smile; but Jax saw through it. “I’m sorry”, he muttered. I shook my head. “I want me back”, I said. “My work, my sense of security in who I am… Joshua took it all away”. He nodded. “What can I do?”, he said. I thought about it for a moment. “I do want to dance again… are you sure you’d be ok with that?” It was his turn to ponder my question. “I love you; and I want you happy”, he said. “Dancing makes you happy”. “It does”, I nodded. “No nipple tassels?”, he said warily. “I’ll save those for you”, I smirked. “I know how you like to wear them…”. He looked at me warningly. “Hey! That stays between us”, he said. I giggled. “I promise”, I said.

He kissed me gently. “I’ll look up safe clubs for you”. “What do you mean; safe?”, I asked. He frowned. “It’s got to be somewhere unconnected to club enemies”, he said. “And somewhere out of range of Juice”.

His phone rang. “Speak of the devil”, he muttered; and picked up the call. “Juice! What’s up?”. I got up from the floor; and went to feed Abel – who’d been chewing on a teddy bear in his playpen. Jax followed me into the kitchen; his phone to his ear. “Shit!... Yeah. We’re on our way”. He hung up. “Pack up. We gotta get to the clubhouse”. I held Abel to my chest. “What’s wrong?”, I said. “Lockdown”, he grumbled; and walked to the nursery; beginning to pack up a bag for Abel.

I followed him with bated breath. “Jax… what’s happening?”. He looked at me – jaw clenched. “Someone burnt down one of our warehouses”, he said. “Phil got shot”. I felt cold all over. “Is he…”. Jax shook his head. “He’s in the hospital. Gut wound”, he muttered. “Babe; pack your things. We leave in five”. I nodded; and put Abel in the crib, to go collect my things. Jax followed me into the bedroom. “How much… what do I need?”, I said. “Pack for a couple of days”.

I nodded; and grabbed some clothes and toiletries. I was shaking. “Cat…”. Jax pulled me in to a tight hug. “It’ll be ok. You’ll be safe… It’s just a precaution”. “For what?”, I whimpered. He stepped away from me; and opened the bottom drawer – pulling out a .38; checking the chambers to see it was full. “We’re at peace with brown and black. So we don’t know who did it”. “Nords?”, I said. He shook his head. “They don’t mess with our business”, he said. “Too much heat for their numbers”.

I let out a nervous breath. Jax handed me the gun. “This one’s easier. No safety – just pull the hammer; aim, and shoot”. I nodded; and put the gun in my purse.

We drove to TM – I had Abel in the car with me; and Jax followed close on his bike. Once inside the lot; the large gate closed behind us.

The clubhouse was filled with women and children. Abel was fussing from not having been feed when we were at the house; and Gemma took him from my shaking arms. “I’ll be ok, sweetheart”, she said warmly. “This happens”. I nodded; and went to sit down with Lyla. She and Opie had pulled the kids out of school; and the three of them were doing homework at a table.

Clay stepped into the middle of the room. “Listen up! Lockdown is in order. No one leaves without an escort – and all communications with outsiders is on hold”. I felt sick. Jax met my eyes, and stepped over to stand by me – back straight and VP-face on. He squeezed my shoulder for second; letting me know he knew I was afraid. “You’ll all be home as soon as we figure out what happened”, Clay said. “For now; you stay her. And stay safe”. He turned to Jax. “We gotta go”. Jax nodded; and turned to me; bending down for a quick kiss. “I love you. Stay here. We’ve got the dorm for Abel”. “Ok”, I said quietly. “Come back to me…”. “I will”, he whispered.

The guys left the clubhouse; and I heard their bikes starting up, and leaving the lot.

---

I spent the next few hours scared out of my mind. No calls came in to let us know what was happening; and I was constantly looking at the door – wishing for Jax to step through it. Gemma was on her phone; and after she hung up, she joined me at a table; where I was trying to feed Abel his nighttime bottle. “That was Rat”, she said. “Phil is out of the woods; but he’ll need to stay in the hospital for a few days”. “And how long will we have to be here?”, I asked. “I don’t know, baby”, she said. “They’re just trying to keep us safe”. I frowned. “Then why am I still terrified?”, I said quietly. She smiled. “Because you’ve never done this before”. She squeezed my hand. “But you’re doing it just perfectly”. She looked at Abel. “Do you want me to put him down for the night?”. I shook my head. “No, I’ll do it. I’m gonna try to get some sleep as well”. I stood up; holding the baby against my shoulder to burp him. “Why do we get the dorm? There are other kids here…”. She shrugged. “It’s just the way it is”, she said. “No one has a problem with it”. “I do”, I muttered. She stroked my cheek. “There goes that heart of yours… Look, if it makes you uncomfortable; bring Lyla and her kids with you”. I nodded.

I got Lyla and the kids to follow me into the dorm – not really wanting to be alone. A little while later, Lyla was next to me on the bed; stroking Kenny’s hair. The boy had wet cheeks; and was whimpering in his sleep.

“Thanks for letting us stay in here with you”, she whispered. “Anything else would have been ridiculous”, I smiled. We we’re bundled up on the bed with Abel and Kenny – Ellie and Piper having been tucked in on the couch. Kenny had cried himself to sleep; worried about his dad. There’d been a travel cot for the baby set up in the room; but I’d insisted one of the women sleeping in the bar area, used it for her little girl. Besides; I preferred having Abel in my arms as it was.

“You think they’re ok?”, Lyla asked. “Yeah…”, I whispered – trying to convince myself as well as her. “They have each other’s backs”. Lyla nodded.

I pulled the covers off Abel; as the room was warm; and I didn’t want him to overheat. “You’re good with him… a natural”, Lyla said. I smiled softly. “He’s an easy kid… And Jax takes the main load when he’s home”. “Really?”, Lyla said incredulously. “Yeah”, I said. “He’s a regular mother hen around him”. “Wow…”, Lyla said; surprised.

I chewed my lip. “Did… do you know Abels mom? Wendy?”. Lyla shook her head. “No; that was before my time”, she said. “But Opie told me a bit about her… She has issues”. “I know”, I nodded. “But I still want him to know about her”. “Is Jax pushing for you to get guardianship?”, Lyla asked. “I think he’ll bring up at some point… Or Gemma will”. She frowned at me. “You don’t want that?”. I stroked Abel’s little arm. “I have no problem with the guardianship. I love him. So much”, I muttered. “But I’m not his mother. I don’t need him to call me mom”. “Then what?”, she said; letting the sleeping baby hold on to her pinky. “I want to be there for him… whatever happens. He is mine; you know?”. I sighed. “And I want what’s best for him”. “You think she’s part of that equation?”, she said. I thought about it. “She should be – on one way or another”. I kissed the baby’s head. “I want him to have a clear understanding of where he comes from”.

Lyla smiled softly at me. “You are too good for words, Cat”. I looked at the sleeping child in her arms. “You’re not half bad yourself… taking on two of Opie’s, on top of your own”. She stroked Kenny’s cheek. “I guess I feel like you do. They are mine – but they weren’t mine first”, she said. “Though Donna’s a hard act to follow”.

I took her hand; and squeezed it. “Stepmom’s for the win, huh?”. She grinned. “Go team Stepmom”.

Soon after; Lyla dozed off. I spent the night in and out of sleep. Every sound made me jolt. I was worried, and wanting nothing more than to see Jackson safe and sound, as soon as possible. Abel woke up at 6 am; needing a change and a bottle. I slipped out of the dorm quietly; trying not to stir my sleeping friend and her kids.

Rat was in the main room; putting out breakfast items for the sleeping people in the clubhouse. He looked even scrawnier than usual – tired and sad. “Are you ok?”, I whispered. He looked worried for a second. “Yeah; I’m just fine, ma’am… Cat”. He tried to smile. “There’s an empty mattress in the storage room”, I said. “Go get some sleep. You look exhausted”. He shook his head. “I need to finish this”, he muttered. I put Abel in his car seat on a table; and took a loaf of bread from Rat’s hands. “That’s an order”, I smiled. Rat smiled; and scuttered off.

I’d had Jax buy a baby carrier; so we’d be able to carry Abel with us, hands free. I strapped the baby to my body, and got to work, preparing breakfast. While I worked; Ellie came out to join me. “Couldn’t sleep?”, I said. “No”, the girl muttered. I stroked her cheek. “Your dad will come back as soon as he can”, I smiled. She nodded. “I miss you at school… Miss Bloom is back. She made us read The Hobbit”. “That’s a good book”, I said. Ellie shrugged. “Yeah, but I already read it”.

I narrowed my eyes; and told Ellie to wait; while I slipped into the dorm – going through my bag; and returning with The Graveyard Book. “Here. It’s the same author that wrote Coraline”, I said; handing her the book. “You’ll like it”. Her eyes lit up. “Can I go read it now?”. I nodded smilingly; and Ellie ran off to find a quiet corner.

Gemma had appeared from somewhere; and watched our exchange. “Do you always bring a library with you wherever you go?”, she grinned. I shrugged. “Only when I’m locked up in a bikerclub; and don’t know when I’ll be able to get out again”, I said. “Nice to have some diversion”. Gemma chuckled. “Where’s Rat?”, she asked. “I told him to get some rest. He was sleeping standing up”.

She walked over to me; and kissed my cheek. “Where the hell did you come from, Cat? And why didn’t you get here sooner?”, she smiled. I blushed, and went back to my task of carving up rolls.

People began stirring – attacking the buffet I’d set up for breakfast. I stuck to coffee myself – feeling too anxious to eat. Abel began fussing from all the sounds of women and children around him; and I decided to go outside to get some air.

I walked back and forth on the lot; bouncing my body to settle the whimpering baby against my chest. An armed leather clad Son with a batch from Tacoma kept his eyes on me. Suddenly the gates opened; and fleet of bikes entered the lot. The sound of the engines instantly made Abel calm down; and I chuckled at the irony.

Chibs got off his bike – looking tired and worn. I walked over to him. “Guests?”, I muttered; looking at the unknown bikers parking near the shop. “Nomads”, the scot answered. “We need backup”. I shuddered. “What happened?”. Chibs put his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry, my love”, he smiled. “We’re all whole”. I nodded. “There’s still food inside”, I muttered. Chibs put his hand on my back; and led me towards the door of the clubhouse. “You two should be inside”. “What’s happening?”, I asked.

Chibs opened the door for me, and led me to a quiet corner; gesturing for Gemma to follow. “Retaliation”, he said quietly. “Nords called in some white power friends”. My breath hitched. “O-ollie?”, I whispered. Chibs shook his head. “No. This has nothing to do with you… this is something else”. Gemma met the scots eyes. “The other thing”, she muttered. “What?”, I asked. Chibs smiled. “Don’t worry about it, luv’”.

His phone rang; and he picked it up. “Yes?... I just got in with the Nomads. I’m going to have Quinn head security until you or Clay comes back… Yes. She’s here”. Chibs handed me the phone. I took it, and headed down the hall to find some quiet.

“Hello?”. “Cat…”. Jax sounded tired. “Baby…”, I almost whimpered. “Are you ok?”. “I’m fine… I’m at one of the warehouses; keeping it safe”, he said. “Are you safe?”. “I’m freaking out…”, I admitted. “I know, babe”, he breathed. “I’ll be there as soon as I can”. “When?”. He paused. “We’re expecting some company…”. “Jax…?”, I croaked. “What’s happening? Are you in danger?”. “It might get bloody”, he said honestly. “Listen; you and Abel are safe as long as you stay inside the compound”. “I can’t do this alone…”, I croaked. “I can’t lose you…”. “I’m going to do whatever it takes to get back to you safe and sound. I promise”. He let out a deep breath. “I love you, Cat”. “I love you”, I said. He paused. “There’s something else…”. “What?”. “We don’t have enough people to cover the studio. The Cara Cara girls will have to hold up with you all, at the clubhouse, until this blows over”. Ima. “Great”, I grumbled. “Just… make sure you hold on to that .38 for the real enemies, ok?”, he said. I didn’t answer. “Cat?”. “I promise not to burst anymore implants…”. “I love you. Thank you for… everything. How’s my boy?”. I looked down at the baby strapped to my chest. “Loved…”, I said. I could almost hear Jackson’s smile through the phone. “Come back whole”, I squeaked.

---

A few hours later; a van full of scantily clad women arrived at TM. Lyla greeted her friends; and said a curtly hello to Ima – who did her best to avoid me; and Gemma. She was wearing a gauze around her chest.

The kids were getting rowdy – reacting to the close quarters and the lack of entertainment. With a sleeping Abel to my chest; I thought fast, and grabbed every sheet and blanket I could find – helping them build a fort under the table in the meeting room. This gave the adults some well needed peace to mingle, and talk about what was going on.

Chibs was out cold in the dorm; and I let him have one of the blankets – lovingly tucking in the snoring scot. Happy and Juice arrived at noon – having traded shifts with two of the Nomads. They passed out on a couch each; some Cara Cara girls fussing over them. Happy had his head in one girls lap; while another let Juice use her voluptuous chest as a pillow. I grinned at the scene; and went back to my fort project.

Gemma came and took Abel from me; and I crawled under the reaper-table with a flashlight from the shop – making shadow animals with the kids. “That’s not a dragon!”, Piper called out; after I’d tried my best at making one with my hands. “Sure it is!”, I said. “I met one once, you know?”. “Really?”, a little girl said. “Yeah!”, I enthused. “She was ugly; and had bad breath… her name was June”. The kids let out an audible gasp in unison.

The time flew more quickly for me; as I was occupied with the kids. After a while; I went outside for some fresh air, and a cigarette in peace. A few of the nomads were on the roofs; overlooking the compound and the area surrounding it. Their large guns should have made me feel uncomfortable – but I was beginning to feel more at ease with being surrounded by armed men. This is for our protection, I thought. I just wished Jax was there.

Juice and Chibs headed out to trade places with Clay, Bobby and Tig. Rat followed them in a dark van. As the gates closed; I suddenly saw two of the Cara Cara girls stumbling outside – head to head in a catfight. They didn’t seem to be able to agree on which one of them would be taking care of Tig when he got back. One of the girls punched the other in the face; breaking her nose. Lyla and Gemma had followed them outside; and was yelling at them to stop. Ellie and Piper where at their heels; looking at the exchange. The kid’s faces were terrified.

I ran over to the squabbling girls; and pulled away the one who had thrown the punch. She scratched for me; but missed – and I slapped her hard across the face. “Hey! You leave that shit for when this is over”, I snarled. “We have kids here!”. The angry porn-star walked away with a putrid glare at me; and I helped the bleeding woman to her feet. “Lyla; get the first aid kit!”, I called to my friend; who ran back inside; ushering the kids with her. We managed to get the bleeding to stop on the poor girls nose; and I promised to tell Tig, how she’d defended his honor.

Some of the women prepared dinner with Gemma. People were getting restless; so the food came at just the right time, to distract us all. Ima nabbed a plate of potato salad; sticking up her nose at Gemma’s recipe. She searched for a place to sit down; and noticed my folding chair leaning against the wall. I took it before she could touch it. “Rules still apply”, I said coldly. She smirked at me. “Did Jax ever tell you how he likes his dick sucked?”, she said. “I had plenty of practice with him. Could give you some pointers…”. “Or I could point you in the direction of the street”, I said. “See how long that new tit survives without club protection. “What’s your problem?”, she hissed. “Who do you think you are?” Happy came from out of nowhere; lifting his t-shirt to expose the gun resting in the waistband of his jeans. “That’s who she is, bitch. Sit down, and shut up”. Ima jumped a little; and slipped away quietly. I sent Happy a slight smile. “Thanks”. “No worries, princess”, he said hoarsely.

I noticed Gemma smiling at the exchange; and stepped over to join her at her table. Abel was making sputtering sounds at the apple sauce she was feeding him. “You’re doing good, sweetheart”, Gemma said. “Yeah well… you don’t come in to someone’s house, and behave like that”, I said. Gemma’s smile widened; and she went back to feeding the baby.

After dinner; the kids dragged me back into the fort. We started a game of who’s dad has the stinkiest farts. Kenny insisted Opie’s were so bad they’d once made Ellie cry. “Did not!”, Ellie raged. Opie ducked his head under one of the sheets. “They’re not that bad”, he grinned.

Kenny, Ellie and Piper jumped at their father; attacking him with hugs. Opie pulled his kids out of the fort; and I stuck my head out to send him a smile. In the doorway of the meeting room stood Jax; trademark smirk spread across his face. I jumped at him; throwing myself into his embrace.

“I’m ok”, he whispered into my ear. He pulled back; and kissed my forehead. “What the hell did you do to our table?”. I shrugged, and grinned at him. “Well the clubhouse is no longer Samcro property”, I said. “Welcome to The Fortress of Awesomeness and Cheese-dip. Home of the Dragons… or Unicorns. We couldn’t agree on a name”. “Shit”, Jax chuckled. “Who’s the president?”. “We’re a Marxist community”, I said. “But I’m the spokesperson/treasurer”. “You got ‘em to hand over their allowances?”, he laughed. I shook my head with mock menace. “Still working on it”.

Jax hugged me tightly; and kissed my lips. “You’re amazing”, he said. “Can I come in?”. “You’ll have to ask the board”, I said. He frowned. “Who’s the board?”. “Rina…?”, I called out. The little girl who’d asked about the dragon, crawled out from under the table; taking with her a beaten-up skateboard. “Ask the board”, I said; looking seriously at Jax. He narrowed his eyes at the girl; who held up the skateboard at him. “Can I come in to the fort?”. Rina bit her lip; and nodded in glee.

Jax ducked under the sheets; and crawled in to join the party. “Oh, shit. You got Wi-Fi in here?".

---

A few hours later – after having fed my old man enough potato salad for an army – I was about to get Abel ready for bed. “I’ll take him”; Jax smiled; and took the baby into his arms. “Dorm?”. “I’ve been sharing it with Lyla and the kids”, I said. Jackson grinned. “There goes the privacy”. I shrugged. “Not used to sleeping alone anymore”, I muttered. He kissed me gently; and walked down the hall; followed by Gemma.

I realized he’d forgotten the diaper bag; and grabbed it – walking down the hall to the dorm. Voices made me stop outside the cracked door.

“She did good, baby”, Gemma said quietly. “I know”, Jax replied. “You better get her stamped, or someone will try to snatch her up”. “She don’t want the ink, ma’”. “Why?”, Gemma asked. “She’s more than just my old lady”, Jax said. There was a pause before Gemma replied. “I get it”.

I opened the door, and walked into the room. “Hey, you forgot the diaper bag”, I smiled; and handed it to Jax. He smiled; and began changing Abel. Gemma squeezed my shoulder; and left us to it. Jax leaned over his son, and grimaced. “Shit, son. What did momma Cat feed you?”. Momma Cat.

I sat down in the chair we’d used for our riding session some days before. Jax looked up at me, and smirked in remembrance. “I’m… not sure you should call me that”, I said quietly. Jax frowned. “What do you mean?”, he said; and finished closing the clean diaper on his son. He picked up the baby; and sat down on the bed across from me. “I’m not his mom”, I said. “You’re the closest thing he has…”, Jax retorted. “What about Wendy?”, I whispered.

Jax visibly tensed up. “I told you…”, he said. “Yeah, but…”. I sighed. “I love him like my own, Jackson. I do… but at some point, he’s going to have to know where he came from”. Jax shook his head. “I don’t want her screwing up his life”, he said pointedly.

I went over and sat next to him – stroking Abel’s cheek softly. “We won’t let that happen… but if she turns up; and wants back in to his life – clean and sober – I don’t think you should turn her away”. Jax clenched his jaw; but seemed to ponder my words in earnest. “Whatever she is… if it hadn’t been for her; you wouldn’t have him”.

Jax blew out a long breath. “I’ll think about it…”, he said. I went to stand up; but he grabbed my arm; pulling me back down. “There’s more to being a mom, than giving birth. What you just said… that’s sacrifice”. I smiled. “I love him…”. “I know”, Jax said. “Like a mother”. I nodded.

“Momma Cat?”, I whispered. Jax smirked. “Yeah…”, he said quietly. “Better start working on that California Dreaming”. I grimaced. “That’s Mama Cass”. He grinned. “Right”.

Abel had fallen asleep against his father’s chest; and my heart was warm and full of love. Lyla stuck her head in. “Hey, Laura said there’s enough room for the both Abel and her little girl in the crib”. Jax nodded. “You, Ope and the kids take the dorm. We’ll sleep in to The Fortress of Awesomeness and Cheese-dip”. I laughed; and followed Jackson out the door.

We tucked Abel in next to the little girl; and crawled under the reaper-table; collapsing on top of some pillows and blankets. Jax managed to shrug off his cut; before closing his eyes – and falling asleep, almost instantly. I pulled his head against my chest; and put my legs over his – embracing him protectively.

---

“What the hell happened to the table?”, Clays voice boomed; waking me and Jax from our slumber.

Jackson kissed my forehead; and crawled out of my embrace; leaving our haven to face his president. “We took a vote”, he said. “It’s a fort, now”. “I can see that”, Clay muttered.

I crawled out to join them. Clay looked at me, and shook his head; before laughing. “You did good, teach’”, he leered. I blushed. “We do need our table back, though”, Clay said. “Church in 30”. Jax frowned. “We only got half a table, man”, he said. “Piney and Juice are on their way in. I sent Rat out to join Chibs. I have his proxy”, Clay said. “I set up the meeting for this afternoon... We can end this today. But we need a vote”. Jackson shook his head. “We talked about this…”, he began. “You talked. I listened. Now we put it to the table”, Clay said pointedly. Jax sighed. “Ok…”.

I began stripping the table of sheets and blankets – my heart breaking slightly for the kids. Jax seemed deep in thought. After a moment, he took my hand. “Let someone else do that. I need to talk to you…”.

I followed him out of the clubhouse; and into Gemma’s office. Jax closed the door behind us. “I need to tell you something”, he said; gesturing for me to sit down. I suddenly felt anxious. “What’s wrong?”, I said. He sat down next to me. His brow was furrowed. “I told you about the guns we mule”, he said. “But that’s not all we haul”. I waited with bated breath. “We transport dope”.

I instantly felt sick. “Oh… God”, I heaved. Jax put a hand on my back; trying to calm me. I shrugged him off; and stood up. “Heroin, Jax?”. He clenched his jaw. “I know…”, he said. “It’s not good”. “Not good?”, I hissed. “Your son was born with his guts hanging out because of drugs! And I was drugged; and almost…”. “I know!”, he barked. “You think I want to do this?”. I shook my head, and laughed sarcastically. “Of course. Club vote”, I sneered. “Yay, democracy, right?”.

Jax got up; and tried to take my hand. “Don’t”, I snarled. “That is a big goddamn line to cross, Jax!”. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you…”, he tried. “Has it been in the house?”, I asked. “Has it been around Abel?”. “No!”. His voice was hard. “Never”. “And you never…”. “Tested the wares?”, he sneered. “How stupid do you think I am, Cat?”. I scoffed. “You are transporting hard drugs across state lines”, I said. “Ask that question again…”. He sat back down, and ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah… you’ve got a point”.

I sighed. “So what happens now?”. Jackson looked down. His voice was distant. “You get out…”. I went cold. “What?”, I croaked. “You run, and you don’t look back”. Tears welled up in my eyes. “You want me gone, because I don’t…”. Jax shook his head. “No… I don’t want you gone. But you should want to go…”, he said quietly. “Please… don’t let my shit rub off on you. Have a life that’s not… this”.

A tear ran down my cheek. “This is my life”, I whispered. “This… is it. There’s nothing else”. Jax leant back – not touching me. “I’ll get you some cash”, he said. “You can start up somewhere else. Just go. No one will stop you”.

I felt every inch of my body fill up with rage. Walking over to Jackson; I smacked him hard across the face. “Don’t!”, I growled. “You don’t get to push me away, when things get hard!”.

Jax’s face dropped. I’d left a scratch on his cheek; and a small trickle of blood ran from his cheekbone.

Jax got up. His body was tense; and his face was unreadable. “You want this? Me?”, he hissed. “I’m not a good man. Why do you want this to be your life?”. I pushed him hard in the chest. “Because you’re mine, Jackson!”, I yelled. “Guns; drugs; psycho porn-star exes… with all that, you’re still mine. A part of what makes me, me!”.

“All of it?”, he said. “This isn’t going to end. I’m never going to be your every day Joe; who come’s home at the end of the night with a bouquet of flowers and a steady paycheck”. I looked at him pointedly. “Do you love me?”, I said. “What?”, he breathed. “Do you love me!”, I almost screamed. He parted his lips, and relaxed his stance. “Of course. Yes”, he breathed. “You and that kid in there, are the only two things I’ve done right in my life”.

I sighed. “I’m not a virginal princess in a high tower, that needs to be protected and kept clean of your shit”, I said. “I’m in this with you”. Jax swallowed hard. “You are so good”, he said. “I don’t want to break you”. I let out a short breath. “I’m not broken, Jax”, I said. “Kohn didn’t break me; and you aren’t going to break me. I’m not going anywhere… Not because I can’t take care of myself; or need you to pay for my lawyer, or my future… Because this is it, for me!”.

He nodded. “I love you, Cat”, he said quietly. I stepped closer to him; and put my hands on his chest – meeting his eyes. “If you ever say something like that again – ever tell me to leave…”. “I won’t. I’m so sorry”. He pulled me against him; putting his arms around me.

“I don’t want you hauling drugs”, I said. “I can’t get out of it”, he muttered. “Not yet… I’m trying, baby; I really am… I hate myself every time I pack up and go on one of those runs”. “Then end it… safely”, I said. He hesitantly took my hand. “I will… but this shit with The Nords”. He sighed. “It’s about to get worse before it gets better”. “What do you mean?”.

Jackson furrowed his brows. “The Nords brought in friends from the alt-right… they were the ones who burnt down our warehouse”. “What does that have to do with the drugs?” “We had a meeting with their lieutenant… they’re well connected, Cat”. He looked worried. “They threatened to kill our drug-transports, by attacking every haul we sent – and going after our other businesses… Clay made an agreement with them – we transport double the dope; handing half of it to their guys up north”. “They’re strong-arming you?”, I asked. He shook his head. “They’ll pay; and this war can end before it starts”. I had to lean against the desk for support. “Double?”, I croaked. “It’s the same jail-time of we get caught”, Jax said.

The mention of jail; made my ears ring, and bile rise in my throat. “How do you get out?”, I muttered. He shook his head. “I don’t know… not yet”, he said. “But I swear; I will end this shit, Cat – I will!... But for now; to keep everyone safe, we need to do this”.

I let out a deep breath. “I don’t know which I hate more - the drugs, or the fact that you’re dealing with white power...”, I whispered; before meeting his eyes. “Go… do what you need to do to get us out of this mess. I trust you”. Jax pulled me into his arms. “I will never let any of this touch you”, he said. “Are you going to hit me again?”. I frowned. “Maybe…”, I muttered. “No more lies… we’ve been through this before. I’m all in”. He nodded; and kissed the corner of my mouth. “Ok… whatever happens, we get through it together”.

#jax teller x oc #jax teller #jax teller fic #jackson teller #jackson teller fic #soa #sons of anarchy fic #sons of anarchy

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deeeelightfuldee · 3 years

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Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? ooooof. I don’t think i’d buy that. I hardly think people who DO show they have feelings for me are being truthful, so I doubt that.

Do you play video games? haven’t in some time, but I want to get back into it a little.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? oh heck yeah. I have a really great family.

Is your house more than two stories tall? nah, it’s the two stories with a basement.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I will never raise my hands to another human being. I once dated someone who was a veteran and had severe ptsd. we were napping one time and he got aggressive. that wasn’t HIM though.

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) physically, I suppose I have nice eyes and a decent smile. personality wise, I am warm, friendly, loving, supportive, sometimes funny, very loyal.

What color is your hairbrush/comb? depends which one I use. I have a pink one right now.

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? I honestly haven’t got a clue. I haven’t been let out of my room in 2 weeks.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? yes. it’s weird.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? DEF not. he has been asking me out since we worked together maybeeeee.. 8-9 years ago?

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? yes! I am trying to learn how to undo that. it’s not that I don’t want to care about him, but I know and can soooooooo clearly see that he doesn’t care anymore, and it is extremely emotionally draining to watch.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? I wanna say female but idk

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? scott

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? couple days ago.

Do you play any games on Facebook? Nope.

What would you like to get a degree in? I have two degrees -- one in psych and one in SLP.

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? ahahahaha yes. almost always wide awake from 3-6

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? typically more in the movie/show or book mood.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Both. nothing like that buttery, salty goodness that obvs requires an enormous drink

What genre of films do you like the best? either make me EXTREMELY sad, or romantic.

How many bank accounts do you have? 2

Have you ever had the flu? Yeah.

What is your goal for the next few months? i have several. the only one that can/will be public right now, is to get my lungs back to functioning as they were.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? yes. I have very bad breathing during sleep. I have had 11 sleep studies done, because my breathing will just stop randomly, which luckily my brain wakes me. it doesn’t really affect my like severely.. I function normally. but shoooooot, if I got normal levels of sleep i’d be a force to be reckoned with.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. Yes. It was AWFUL. vomiting for 2 days straight. it was so gross.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. smart and romantic.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? hmm. I think there have been times where i’ve let people have more access to me than they should have had. or there have definitely been times I’ve been used in school groups. But honestly, I tend to be protective of myself. I stop when I feel enough is enough.

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? I would want either Bill to not die, or for her to be spoiled incessantly by someone else.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? psh. no. my friends are all tiny which is just not fun.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yeah. i found it so fun.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? ahahahaha no.

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? mopping. i hate doing the floors.

Did you pull a senior prank? Not really advised when a homeschooler.

Did you graduate? Yes. that was a rough, rough day.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope

What was the last song you listened to? i think it was Happier than Ever by billie eilish. the lyrics are ... woof.

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? 20/12 -- the last time I had insurance anyway.

Is fashion one of your interests? honestly, if I had money, it would be. but it isnt right now.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? It’s getting harder and harder to believe that will be the case. I knowwwww I need to start dating, but every time I go to open up an app, I hesitate and chicken out. I just was so happy before.. its hard to think I could be able to offer anything to anyone right now.

Do you care what people think? veryyyyyy few people. I care about the thoughts of those I genuinely love and respect. However, I still ensure I’m protecting myself regardless.

Is acting something you enjoy? No.

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I have a bum knee, so I sprain that from time to time. I last broke a finger.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? ahahahaha yes. but years ago. never because of mine.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. I don’t cuss.

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? probably either nathan’s or em’s.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? alix’s family used to yell at me a lot for being fat. that used to mess me up.

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? soccer. no, i found the endless running to be unnecessary.

Did you ever watch the show Full House? yup

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? no, thats so out-of-touch with reality

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? yes, i have.

What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? i think it was 8 hours. I hate hate hate hikes. But, thats because I have really weak lungs, so my doctor says it’s like lighting them on fire.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? kile

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? my mom hasn’t since a teenager. I think my dad does still. though, i dunno for certain.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? uhhhh, PTK honors society

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Any reptile or insect. <<<< same

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Taller.

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Yes. very much so.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? No, i respect people who are truthful saying they either try not to judge, or that they do judge despite their desire to stop.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? sooooooo much. it’s small town-y, quiet, safe, lots of trees, family close by.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? ps i love you will always shatter my heart.

What’s your favorite restaurant? buona or ashford

Is there a dessert you don’t like? im not wild about pastries.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? hmmm maybe that one mrs. pettigrews home for peculiar children.

Underwater or outer space? i’m fascinated by both. typically more interested in the water.

Dogs or cats? both. all of them.

Kittens or puppies? kittens.

Bird watching or whale watching? whales!!!!!!!!

What was your best subject in school? in HS probably history. or science. in college, psych or neuro.

What was your worst subject in school? Math. always freakin’ math.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? Uhhh. hm. i don’t think anything. I liked my experience.

Who is your fashion icon? nada.

Diamonds or pearls? Both are nice. I love pearl stud earrings and I really want a simple, one pearl necklace. I am kinda ruined for diamonds for some time. My favorite rings and necklace were diamonds from kile and I just cant bring myself to wear those anymore.

What color dress did you wear to prom? pink

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? oh sure. I am envious of those with bangin’ bods. I’m envious of those who have great finances. I am envious of those who live life married to their love. I’m envious of people who see kile regularly. But there are difficulties that come with any of those situations.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? not long ago. the whole crushing reality of losing kile just destroyed me. I’m OK now.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? ahahahahah. I just reject all calls.

Who are you closest to? My mom and nathan rn.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? no

Are you currently sad about anything? several things have recently been really saddening, but I’m ok. Ill get thru it.

Have you had any form of exercise today? Its going to be some time before I’m cleared for that. I almost faint from taking a shower and I have to be on oxygen after doing the one flight of stairs.

Can you handle blood? doesn’t bother me at all.

Has any place hired you underage for a job? yes. I mean technically, I was legal to work in that I was 17, but the company didn’t want to hire younger than 18.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? not like in public, but at a house or gun range, yes.

Are you currently searching for a job? soon.

Does eating breakfast make you sick? i’m never ever ever hungry for it. I know i should, but its the worst. I don’t even like breakfast foods.

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issa-me-addy · 3 years

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I want to stay up with you (BF! Bucky Barnes Oneshot)

hello! here is my lil participation piece for @aesthetical-bucky and her 1k writing challenge! the prompt is the phrase “I want to stay up with you” :)

Warnings: language? angst, fluff

Word Count: 1955

You and Bucky sat on your couch in your tiny little studio apartment, which was a 15 minute subway ride away from the Avengers tower. His flesh arm was wrapped around you and your thigh was draped over his knee as you lounged on the couch, the TV creating a nice luminance in the space as the sun began to go down.

“I should be going home soon, baby doll,” he said softly before pressing a soft kiss to your temple.

You immediately pouted and pulled away from his kiss, staring up at him with your eyebrows furrowed, piecing together an altogether borderline embarrassing facial expression. “No,” you said sternly, your eyebrows creasing so far down a shallow shadow formed above them.

He chuckled in response, bringing his metal hand across your cheek, swiping the cold thumb back and forth on your cheek, “Darlin, we’ve talked about this. If you want to come back with me that’s fine! I’m always more than happy to share my bed with you.”

You sighed, upset that you had to debate this again with him, but you were frustrated at this point. “What’s wrong with my place! You’ve *never* spent the night here. I just would like to sleep in with you, make you breakfast, not have to concern myself with Sam or Steve dragging you out of bed and leaving me to spend half of my sleep without you anyways.”

“Well, what about Shadow?”

You cocked your eyebrow at the annoyingly handsome man before you. “I can literally call Peter or Nat right now to get Shadow. They both love that cat. You literally have no excuse.”

His hand had already fallen from your cheek, made a soft trail down your arm before resting with his palm up on your knee. “What about clothes? A toothbrush?”

You began to smile, unable to hide your excitement even at the sheer possibility that he’d give in. “You really think I haven’t stolen enough clothes for you to have a change of clothes here? I even have an unopened toothbrush here because of this moment! I knew I’d get you to crack one day.”

He grinned back at you, unable to leave a microbreak in your heart again over this silly little fight. “Come here,” he said huskily, using his metal arm to scoop your other leg and place you directly in his lap, “I will stay the night. I was going to lose this fight sooner or later.”

You giggled, bringing your arms around his neck and routinely tangling your fingers with the longer locks at the bottom of his head. “You know, I’m really glad you’ve come to your senses about it.” You press a soft kiss on his nose and smile brightly at him.

The rest of the evening was fairly normal. Bucky helped you with the dishes and cleaned the kitchen after dinner-- he even took out the trash and your stomach filled with flutters, enjoying your domestic boyfriend fantasy.

You got ready for bed first, feeling your cheeks warm while you changed with your back to Bucky. You’ve stripped in front of him countless times but something about the newness of the circumstance made you move sheepishly. You tried to compose yourself as you tossed your day clothes into the hamper and rummaged through your wardrobe, searching for Bucky’s sweats and a white t-shirt.

You tossed them onto the couch cushion beside him and stared wide eyed as he simply stood up and peeled his clothes off. His eyes caught yours as he kicked off his boots and unbuckled his belt simultaneously.

“Do you need something, doll?” He chuckled, proceeding to remove his pants, leaving him in his dark boxers and black socks.

“You,” you responded without even thinking about it.

His smile spread wide as he finished changing, “You’re so goddamn cute,” he responded.

Your cheeks blushed red again. You fumbled as you folded the blanket back and slid into bed, pressing yourself all the way against the wall.

Bucky followed closely behind you, fluffing his pillow and placing it nicely between his ear and shoulder. He laughed at you, pressed up so close to the wall that there was at least a foot of space between the two of you. “Why are you so far away?”

You brought your shoulders up to your ears, shrugging.

He made quick work of dragging you back towards the middle of the bed and up against his chest. “Go to sleep,” he said, kissing the space where your hair began.

You pressed your palm on his chest, pushing yourself off of him enough to look into his eyes. “Do you ever sleep, Buck?”

His head cocked ever so slightly to the side. “Of course I sleep, darlin. Everyone sleeps, except maybe Vision.”

You rolled your eyes at his remark, “Shut up, I know that. I just mean, do you sleep well? I don’t know that you’ve ever fallen asleep first.”

He sighs and takes a moment to wrap both of his arms around your waist, the metal one underneath you, causing your spine to curve ever so slightly.

“I just have trouble sleeping sometimes, but I do sleep,” he said softly, his nose momentarily brushing against yours.

You took a moment to contemplate. You had no work the following day-- you actually had nothing to do the following day except play house with Bucky which simply made your stomach churn in such an exciting way. So in just a moment you decided!

“I want to stay up with you.”

His breath hitched for just a moment. If you weren’t pressed up against him you wouldn’t have even noticed.

Before he responded you had already opened your mouth again. “I want you to be the one to fall asleep in my arms for once.”

He smiled widely and u felt his arms curl you in that much closer, “I don’t know that I’ve ever been the one to fall asleep first.”

“Then I will stay up with you all night,” you whisper against his lips, pressing a soft peck shortly after.

A chuckle bubbled from deep in his stomach, “I love you, darlin, but that’s really not necessary.”

You pulled away, allowing your hand to cup his cheek, smoothing over the skin as your eyes darted between his blue eyes, “You’re not going to be able to change my mind this time, James.”

He grinned, “I would love to stay up with you then.”

Your determination to stay up with him resulted in the best conversations the two of you have ever had, which was saying a lot considering you were already right up there with Steve in terms of being close to Bucky.

You talked to one another, pressed up with your fingers fumbling with one another and your legs tangled until the sun came up.

You talked about how you want kids but sometimes you’re afraid because hearing people say shit like “nobody is ever really ready” does anything but ease your anxieties. He tells you about how he loved being an older sibling and how he would forget to breathe sometimes when he held the youngest in his hands-- he thought she was the most beautiful thing to grace the earth. You squeezed his hand a little harder when he said he wishes he got to be there to see her walk down the aisle at her wedding.

You both agreed that you would love to adopt a little girl one day, even if you do end up having your own kids. You both agreed that you couldn’t fathom loving a kid any less simply because they don’t share your DNA. He got to gush about how much he loved being a big brother to Steve but how really having someone who was truly there and would never leave was something indescribably worth living for.

You knew bits and pieces about how family before but it made your stomach fill with butterflies when he talked about his siblings only for your chest to ache when you remembered that you and Steve were all he truly had left. It was nice nonetheless for you to hear him talk about them by name, telling you the biggest thing he remembered about each of them, sharing memories of Coney Island in the summers and getting them ready for school early in the morning.

You talked about childhood best friends and how you had to learn to cope with the fact that conflict isn’t the only thing that ends friendships. Sometimes distance can take its toll and you know it’s nothing compared to what he’s been through. He kisses your forehead and tells you that you can tell him anything and that none of your feelings are miniscule because they’re yours and everything about you means everything to him.

The sun starts to shine through your window when he tells you about the time that he got himself and Steve stranded because he spent all his money insisting that he could win this girl a prize at the fair. You tell him that he’s a simp.

He pulls you closer and leaves a lazy kiss on your collarbone groaning, “Yeah, but only for you,” before really dozing off.

You whisper his name a few times and get no response and you let the calming wave of sleep crash over you shortly after, a small smile spread across your lips as you do.

3 Years Later--

And you and Bucky live in a little place in Brooklyn, only a few blocks from where he grew up. He’s technically been retired for over a year but sometimes they need him. The past 4 months he’s had an excuse though, seeing as you now have a bun in the oven.

Since entering your second trimester your sleeping schedule has gone to shit. This seemingly wouldn’t be a problem but through the duration of the past few years Bucky has gotten much better at falling asleep and now he’s almost completely ready to be a father seeing as he falls asleep wherever, whenever he wants.

You’ve been hiding it for a little over a week or two that you don’t sleep until well after midnight, but one Sunday night he catches you munching on the floor in the kitchen.

He turns the corner of the hall, rubbing his eye with his metal arm, “Doll? What are you doing awake?”

“Eating?” You say, with your mouth still kind of full.

“Hm, let me join you,” he says soft, sitting across from you, his knee softly brushing yours. “How long have you been up?”

“I never went to sleep,” you admit, shyly.

He takes the bag of chips from you and lazily shoves a few in his mouth, his eyes still blinking because of the bright kitchen lights. “Why didn’t you tell me you couldn’t sleep?”

You shrug, “I already make you deal with a lot-- and you’re going to be the one staying up in about 5 months time, so I thought it fine to let you sleep.”

He shook his head softly, handing the chips back to you and taking your soda into his hands, tipping some of it into his mouth. “I want to stay up with you. You think I would ever willingly give up a single moment with you and babydoll?” He questioned.

You couldn’t help but smile, your heart fluttering every time he referred to your baby as babydoll after years and years of him calling you doll. “Thank you, Buck.”

“Until the end of the line, baby.”

“Isn’t that what you say to Steve?” you questioned, your brow cocked.

“I’ve been awake for 3 minutes, give me a break.”

#aesthetical-bucky1kchallenge #addy writes #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes oneshot #bf!bucky barnes #i apologize that this is late #also i don't think its wonderful but i hope yall enjoy ANYWAYS!#:D

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halothenthehorns · 3 years

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All in the Family

Chapter 29: The Dueling Club

Peter found it a genuine relief, once his head stopped ringing, to find themselves not in Hogwarts for now. There was just too much going on in their school that was giving him the creeps, too much trouble Harry kept getting into that they somehow managed to follow.

His confusion still rose of where exactly they were. There were glass cases lined all along the walls and a metal bar protruding from the wall in front of all that as if it were any kind of deterrent, and it took a few moments before he could get to his feet and peak into the nearest one, prepared to dart away the second another dangerous thing lunged out. Instead he found a strange, very tiny little creature with rough brown skin and buggering blue eyes. There were three prongs coming out the back of its head, but four legs that seemed webbed in appearance and a flat tail. His eyes swept down further and he saw a plaque reading Axolotl- Ambystoma mexicanum, with some description of the beast. Looking more properly now along the way again he saw the same type of thing in front of every display. They were in a reptile house.

He'd been to the zoo a few times in his youth, but his mum being a seamstress meant they hadn't much money and it had been a treat. As far as they knew Harry had only been the one time, but that didn't explain why they were here now. Up until this point they'd been following Harry along, this seemed rather out of the way.

"Hey, I think I found the boa Harry was talking to," Frank said as he eyed a great mound of green coils snoozing away.

"I don't think so," Alice corrected. "I distinctly recall that one being brown, and a Brazilian boa. The Emerald's are from Brazil, but not the right species."

"Maybe they don't have it on display anymore," Lily muttered, thinking that whether it had escaped captivity or been caught, someone likely wouldn't want it on sight anymore.*

"Oi, I found a door that opened!" Sirius whooped in triumph, keeping the book loosely under his arm as he sucked in the fresh air. "How about we put this nasty business on hold lads and get some space, I've never been to a zoo before!"

"That was just sad," Remus told him at once, and Peter was more than happy to follow them out of this place. Too many things in here would find him a snack, in both bodies he could assume.

"I want to see the Dudley gorilla," James agreed as he darted past, coming almost at once to a fork in the road. He didn't even hesitate, high on pure energy he darted right and took off at full speed still shouting about all the animals he wanted to see.

"I vote Wormtail fetches him," Remus smirked.

"You literally just used a Padfoot joke on me, I can't decide if I'm offended or flattered," Peter rolled his eyes as he strolled past the two, who were clearly enjoying the clear skies and shady foliage more.

"Go with flattered and do what he says," Sirius suggested.

Peter was already doing so, scoffing about the two turning into layabouts, but turning into a jog to keep James in sight as he took a left. He finally caught up to him as he was bouncing in place and reading the plaque of a reindeer. "Look, look it Wormie! My distant cousins!"

"Prongs, you know just because you can turn into one doesn't mean-"

"Shhh! Don't spoil my fun, think I can get in there with them? Bet I can be king of the herd!"

"James, I really wouldn't recommend-"

He was being ignored, he'd already slipped under the wooden boards and was standing in the space in between, fingers pressed into the mesh gate, eyeing the top as if he could gauge how far the jump was. "Wonder why they only have males in there," he said absently as he tried to fit a trainer into the metal.

"This is one of the few species of deer where females can grow prongs to, I'm sure they're in there," Peter said in resignation as he managed to get both feet off the ground, but stayed there for a moment rather than lifting himself higher.

James hesitated, trying to stretch his arm up higher to get more purchase without toppling over, but couldn't get his feet in well enough to manage such a thing. "Where's Sirius?" He demanded as he wobbled dangerously, looking for more backup than Peter's silent unsupport.

"He and Moony were taking their sweet time while you ran off."

"Been noticing that a lot lately," James groused as he let himself loose and hit the ground, deciding to focus on this. Of course he could have made the climb if he wanted to...it just would have been easier if he'd had his broom.

"Yeah," Peter agreed, keeping the bitterness entirely out of his voice as James acknowledged this as well.

"Probably just catching each other up on every mundane detail Pads missed the past month," James sighed, even as he did gaze back curiously.

"Wasn't much to miss," Peter reminded.

James ignored this, no need to go back and reminisce how quiet their life had somehow gotten with one of their numbers not on speaking terms, so grabbed hold of Peter and began towing him further on. "Oh well, they'll catch up. I saw an exhibit for meerkats isn't far off, let's go see your cousins Pete!"

"I think this place got the sign for this one wrong," Frank told Alice as he inspected the odd creature before him. "That's clearly some kind of zebra."

"Says here an Okapi is a subspecies of giraffes and zebras," Alice agreed. Shrugging at how odd Muggels were for their many sciences, especially in naming creatures. The two moved on, stopping with increasing frequency and more than happy to have Lily around whenever they ran across something odd, like a cart full of bobble-heads.

She seemed to be in a radiant mood, having tied her hair up and was all but skipping ahead of them and only rounded back when they called out a question to her. When curiosity had gotten the better of her and Alice had finally asked why, she'd just smiled and admitted, "the peace and quiet is nice."

It was true they hadn't heard a word of the book yet, which was rather odd, and they wondered if distance had finally pulled the magic too far and they didn't even know if the Marauders were continuing the story somewhere else. Only Frank seemed disappointed in this prospect, the mystery of that monster at Hogwarts still on his mind, they could be missing clues. He was having far too much fun though to really offer the complaint, and didn't dare suggest actually hunting the lot down, bringing the girls moods with this.

"Let's go find the birdhouse," Lily suggested, her eyes sparkling with excitement. They spotted a huge dome like structure in the distance which must have been what caught her eye and easily kept pace with her as she kept up a happy babble. Alice suddenly realized this was really the most she'd heard her talk since this began. "I love birds, did you know their bones are hollow, but still incredibly strong. You can't just snap them in half like a chicken bone."

"Do you own an owl?" Frank asked kindly, but to his surprise the smile dropped from her face.

"No, ah, my parents won't allow it." Her answer sounded very diplomatic, but Frank still regretted asking, having brought her mood back so low.

"My sister, really," she tacked on defensively, her tone edging harder every word now. "She, err, I've asked, but she hates animals, and my parents, err, I mean I have to respect her wishes too."

"Must be hard having siblings," Alice offered.

"Yeah," she agreed, her hand trailing up to catch strands of her hair now and playing with it, walking along at a much calmer pace so to stay even with them now. "She, ah, doesn't like that I can do magic but she can't. It's, been hard to talk to her lately. Last time we really did was our last trip to the zoo, first summer back from Hogwarts. It's like she forgot where I'd been gone all year, and we just talked and had fun all day. Even though she took no interest in the animals, we played games watching Muggles pass by and mum and dad let us even go off ahead of them a bit to show they trusted us being bigger. Then we went to the birdhouse, and I saw the most beautiful owl in there! I started telling her about all the ones at school, and -" She stopped there, both in speech and walking, staying frozen on the spot in front of a cart advertising plushies for all sorts of critters to see in this zoo.

Then she blinked as if coming back to reality and gave them a very guilty look. "Sorry, looks like I'm always putting my foot in my mouth no matter the company. I'll just let you two-"

"Don't be silly," Alice said at once, reaching out and taking her hand with the best smile she could offer. "As if we're going to let you off on your own after spilling your guts like that. Your sister's a twat for not wanting to hear about your life, but we'd love to."

Frank gave an encouraging smile as well, thinking the poor girl needed some fun in her life. Between such a home life and someone like Snape for a friend, she probably didn't get much. "We don't have to go to the bird house, how about we find the food court?"

"No, I want to," she insisted, her eyes lighting with some spark again. "I really did love the place, it's so exotic and probably as close as I'll ever get to seeing the rain forest. Err, it's also on the way to the restaurants," she offered herself.

"Sounds perfect," Alice agreed, now the one dragging both of them along.

Remus and Sirius were unintentionally taking turns watching each other. It was a miracle they'd managed to keep their school bags on them all this time, but when Sirius realized he had, he'd slipped the book into it without a second glance yet, and that had been almost an hour ago now. Finally he could just enjoy some time out, and some alone time with Remus.

The two had already stopped and had a good snog once already, before the sound of something had drawn their startled attention. It didn't sound particularly threatening, and in fact it turned out to be a lion attempting to mimic a roar, though it more sounded like a giant cat hacking up a hairball. Remus had dragged Sirius over and began mocking the beast, and the proud cat actually responded in kind. Sirius nearly fell to the ground laughing as the two kept 'roaring' at each other for a good few minutes.

Then the two had taken off to actually find their mates, looking first in the gorilla house where they'd expected to find them. They did indeed spot the apes, but in the very back hiding in the shaded trees and various equipment they had available to play in. Then they'd been sidetracked at where the warthogs were rummaging about, Sirius being genuinely amazed how tough they looked compared to the bacon he was craving.

Remus had to drag Sirius away from the anteater, while Padfoot still insisted he wanted a closer look at such an odd creature and surely it wouldn't run if he turned into a friendlier dog. They had another good pass at each other before they realized they had an audience in front of the lemurs, and still red faced and fixing their clothes from that, they finally stumbled across their friends gazing at some naked mole-rats.

"There you two are, we been looking all over!" James called in excitement.

"What's with you two, you look all hot and bothered," Peter agreed. There was an odd look in his eye as he saw the pair and then looked back at James, but both ignored him and the question.

"Probably walked right past each other in a place this size," Sirius said off hand. "Let's go find that place Harry mentioned, where we can get some ice cream around here."

They all stopped and had some fun in front of the tigers, each bidding how far they could get in before the big cat realized they were there. Peter insisted he'd make it the farthest, without becoming a meal. Then they came across a bear enclosure, two huge beasts tossing each other about inside. It seemed in good fun, for the animals.

"Come on, we run around with a werewolf once a month, I'll bet I can take them!" James insisted, now more than willing to levitate himself into the enclosure and give it a go.

"Prongs, you are literally something they'd have a joy eating," Peter tried to protest.

"Not if he has backup!" Sirius insisted, bouncing on his heels in preparation.

"You two idiots are going to be murdered and then we're going to be zapped around with corpses," Remus pleasantly informed them. "Please, let's go have some lunch, and then we can come back," he quickly pacified.

They were still happily bickering about it when they found a good sized restaurant and went into the cool air with gratitude, raiding the kitchens for the sweet treats and each making their own scoop before Sirius finally took a grateful seat at a table and digging into the bag for the book.

"So you weren't reading that this whole time?" Peter asked with interest.

"Nah," Remus shrugged, "was just having some jollies about the place like you two."

"I'd been wondering if we'd just get yanked out of here before we'd find you two," James rolled his eyes.

Sirius ignored him too as he finally got started reading the chapter title.

"Glory Black, we could hear you outside, can you yell that any louder," Smith said as she poked her head inside, her face flushed from heat as well but looking almost grateful to have found them.

"You just getting started on that?" Longbottom asked as he came inside as well along with Evans, all three clutching stuffed parrots.

"Yep, glad you could join us," James smiled and very obviously moved himself over to make room for them, her, nearly pushing Peter out of his seat in the process.

Peter scowled and shoved him back just as hard, James nearly face planting his ice cream.

Ignoring the two making snipping comments at each other now, the three sat around comfortably, though not nearly as far away as they could. James still beamed at the proximity, wishing they could spend the rest of this reading adventure here, it was clearly putting Evans in a good mood, she was even smiling as Sirius started off and it didn't even dim that much as the Muggleborns in the school were described during this monster fear.

Regulus spent the entire time staring at penguins. They were funny little things, he'd instantly decided, and had been captivated at once by the flightless birds zooming through the water at such speeds. For a moment he'd even tried to see if he could run faster and been amazed the bird swam the length of it's glass before he could do any such thing. Smiling as the one he'd locked eyes on darted away, he tried to circle around and follow it, finding a nice large tree he could sit under and observe the whole area.

He was sure if a Muggle were to come along he'd be terribly scolded, he'd had to clamber over a large ridge right into the enclosure and several of the birds came up to him within reach, clicking their beaks and eyeing him for food. When he offered nothing they lost interest and began preening each other, the splash of water as the bodies leaped free of their miniature ocean the only noise he heard until Sirius finally began reading the next part of the chapter.

His voice had been so clear Regulus had startled, scattering all the webbed critters that had gone near him back into the water, but when he looked around, there was still no one in sight. Sighing and inching himself further a bit more so that his feet nearly touched the clear surface, he relaxed again and let himself enjoy the tale from a distance for once. He couldn't hear the commentary going along, to which he was grateful for. He could almost imagine it all anyways, his idiot of a brother and his friends laughing about the Potter kid causing trouble in Snape's class, Smith and Longbottom being happy about everything and chatting about the good merits of a dueling club. By the time the chapter even got to the part of Harry attending it Regulus was so relaxed he'd even slipped his shoes off and dipped his feet in the water, surprised by how pleasantly warm it was.

Hearing of Harry actively speaking Parseltongue was of great interest to him, his fascination with Potters child growing all the more as he took control of the situation and spoke the language he'd only heard rumor the Dark Lord could as well. Knowing the child could and actively hearing him do it twice now was enthralling, what his family would give if he could do such a thing as well! Potter and his friends treated it like some bad thing, and Regulus just had to scoff, those kids didn't know how good their life could be if they'd just be a bit smarter, instead all three reminded him of his idiotic brother.

The idea of something happening to a ghost did get his attention, a chill sweeping through him that had nothing to do with the warm sun still beating down. He couldn't blame that Ernie fellow for thinking Harry had done it given the circumstances, but a pureblood should be smarter than that! He should realize you should always look at more options available than just blaming the obvious source, shouldn't he? He was really starting to question that, considering that Hermione friend of Potter's obviously knew better but so many purebloods didn't. Then he swallowed and looked around again, waiting for his mother or one of his friends from school to spot him having such traitorous thoughts-

He cursed and jumped straight out of the enclosure in surprise, not because Potter was going to see the headmaster, but a penguin had taken a nip at his foot, apparently under the delusion it was a snack rather than toes. He drew his wand and took aim at the pestilent bird, but lowered it at the last second as he conceded he had been asking for such a thing to be happening. Then he was pulled away altogether.

#Harry Potter #fanfiction #Marauders #CoS #Wolfstar #reading the books #zoo #Regulus Black #Regulus Black and Penguins #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #Peter Pettigrew #James Potter #Lily Evans #Frank Longbottom #Alice Smith

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themousefromfantasyland · 3 years

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The Yule Man (7/7)

Told by ME

This was meant to be a short story, but it became too big, so I separated it in seven parts. I want to turn my blog in a space where I can share my writting every once and a while.

This is the first time I post one of my stories on a public space. This is the first time anyone besides my sister will be able to read, so I'm pretty exciting and anxious. I want honest criticism. I hope you all enjoy it.

The threat of Mr. Müller grew day by day. Mia saw each day up to five to eight men surrounding the mansion. Chris, along with all her siblings continued oblivious to it all.

They kept and kept appearing, not showing to anyone, only her. Franz Müller liked games. The more twisted and sadistic, the better.

Mia and Chris had made a promise of always been honest to each other. On that moment nothing could take him out of the idea that Mia hid something from him. He tried to ignore the feeling. He wanted so much to believe in her.

The nostalgia by the fireplace on those Yule Days eased her mind. Cuddling with Chris, hearing their siblings’ stories. She wanted the world to stay that way forever.

Then the Yule Log turned to ashes.

In the middle of the dawn of Yule's last day, she got up running and invaded her mother's bedchamber. She didn't tell anything to Chris. Not even dared to wake him up. She jumped from bed and went straight to her mother.

"I need help." She started saying frenetically. "They are after me. Mr. Müller wants his money, and I don't have how to pay it."

Mrs. Hayek looked at her with disdain.

"Of all the people in the world, why you choose me to ask for money." She said enjoying each syllable of that sentence.

Mia couldn't resist. She spilled bitterness again.

"Because you're the only one here whose opinion about me doesn't matter."

Mrs. Hayek stood up.

"You aren't helping your cause." She continued saying. "Typical, you only here for my money. If you had been a decent daughter, you would be closer to me."

Mia shouted back.

"It was you who close yourself out of the world. My father struggled to maintain these gates open to the town, to the community. And you closed them off for good. You don’t even know the state that Arnsberg finds itself now."

She shut Mrs. Hayek’s mouth.

“You don’t know nothing what’s happening outside.” She walked near the door. “Sophia is getting married and Fritz will move to another town.” She closed her eyes. “I’m getting married too.”

That took her mother by surprise.

"With that boy. The Yule Man! How?"

Mia said dismissive:

"I don't know. I don't understand his world.

Mrs. Hayek stepped closer to her.

"Magic always leads to trouble."

"He's mortal now. He found a way and now he wants to spend time with me. I don't have the heart to tell him I'm stuck in this mess." She sat by her mother’s bed. “This year was so hard to me. I almost lose my business. I was stupid. And now Cat’s-eye’s men are running around here.

“Are they here?”

Her mother growled like animal, but this time, the unthinkable happened. She sat close to her daughter and did the only thing she believed would never be necessary n her life, to be vulnerable.

"I know what you think of me. Yeah, I was racist when I was younger. I was also foolish and insipid. I wanted his money."

Mia didn’t understood that.

"You didn't changed that much. Why are you telling me that?"

Mrs. Hayek started to yell.

"I want to salvage our relationship. I'm tired of spending the Yule days without you."

She stopped. Her voice sounded lower and calmer now.

“I pushed everyone away. The truth is that I miss your father, I miss the Solstice Eve balls. I miss when you four were little. I miss everything.” Bitter tears flowed down her face. “I am getting older Mia. I have so many regrets. Take all the money you need and fix this mess.” She paused. “And enjoy the short time you have with your Yule Man.

Mia hugged her mother. So much resentment lasted in both of them, but maybe this could be the start of a new beginning for both. Maybe.

A loud rumbled awakened Chris.

“Mia?” He woke up in an empty room.

He heard voices, murmurs, coming from upstairs. Perhaps if she were there, if the room weren’t empty, he would not have the idea to see what produced that sound. The idea of something bad happening with the Hayeks stroked him as the first thought. Inexperience with burglars and robbers also could be the reason for his behavior. He lit a single candlelight and went to check that sound.

The dark still reigned over all the rooms. Looking by the hours marked in the clock, sunrise would not delay coming. He slowly walked upstairs, to the area where Mr. Hayek kept his office. Mr. Müller had sent his five best burglars. For days they studied the Hayek Mansion. They counted each servant, each worker, each resident, and each visitor. They knew even where all of them slept. They burst a sealed vault with the minimum of noise. Yet, there is always someone to hear, there’s always casualties.

They surprised Chris and grabbed him from behind before he could scream. They took out all the money they could put their hands on. When they were ready to go, they release him. They knew he would scream. They knew even a single shot would wake everyone in the house. They proceeded anyway because they wanted them to know that they were there. It was part of the fun.

Chris received three shots when he tried to run. He fell against the floor without at least understanding what had happened to him.

"Tell Miss Hayek this is her late Yuletide present." One of them said before fleeing by the open window.

The fatal sound echoed through all the household. When the servants saw him there, they immediately called Thomas. Mia heard all the noise in her mother’s room and rushed to see what had happened.

The world became slower as closer as she came to her father old office. When she felt the blood on her feet, everything stopped. Mia threw herself over his body, getting on her knees and desperately brushing his face. His body shivered and trembled.

"No. No. No." He screamed and cried on her lap.

He felt the emptiness growing inside him, the nothingness. He knew if it engulfed him there would be no way out.

"Mia, the woods. Take me to the woods." He shouted to her. “Please. I don’t want to go. Not now!” He sobbed.

Mia turned to her brothers.

“I need help carrying him.”

Mrs. Hayek appeared behind them.

"Take the sleigh."

The sleigh had been bought recently, a one-horse open sleigh. Mia and her brothers carefully placed Chris's body over it. Soon she dashef off the golden gates into the winter landscape. Her siblings stood speechless. Mrs. Hayek stayed behind, alone, wishing for a miracle.

Chris fighted to maintain his eyes opened. He knew if he closed his eyes, he wouldn't be able to open them again. The north wind surrounded them. It howled and brushed through their bodies, as if screaming and already mourning.

Chris heard the voices, full of pain and hatred. He cried desperately and shouted.

"It's too late." He sobbed.

Mia stopped the sleigh next to tree large threes near an abandoned road.

She rushed to his side.

"Remember when we stayed in that hotel in Lichthafen City.” He said not holding back the tears.

"No, Chris stop!" She shouted in pure anger.

“I filled our room with sand.” He laughed. “The sand, the sun, the tiny seashells.”

"Stop!" She shouted again.

"I don't want to go."

His vision started to fade away.

"No, no, no!" His body struggled with all strength left in him.

He stopped fighting and stared deep into her eyes. Calmly, he said:

"You changed me."

She landed both hands on his face.

"I love you." He said faintly.

As he said that, the nothingness dragged him back for the last time, never to think or feel anything ever again.

The winds stopped, as if in infinite mourning. The first sun rays started to appear, and she stood by his side, crying, and shouting to the empty.

The sun raised, and the bright beams landed on Chris’ body, that dissolved into snow and ice. Under the first sun rays, the white snow shimmered and glistened before Mia's eyes. The end had arrived.

Mia returned to the Hayek Mansion without Chris, and without a body. She wasn't even sure if anyone would believe her.

Mrs. Hayek turned to her and sadly whispered:

"Magic only leads to trouble."

Mia returned to Arnsberg in the next day. Mr. Muller waited for her near her shop. He dressed as a true gentlemen.

"Hope you had a fantastic Yuletide." He greeted her with a smile. “Hope you don’t mind that my men took somethings away. Those were the correction interest, but you still owe me.

She paid what she owned to him and didn't dared to say more words.

“Happy Yuletide!”

After Chris’ death, Mia closed herself out of the world. She closed her tailoring shop one day and disappeared inside her own apartment. No one of her family could bring her out again. With time, it became their duty to look out for her and her bills. Mrs. Hayek started to believe that if Mr. Müller's men didn't killed Mia, her daughter would finish the job on her own.

The months passed, and Yuletide arrive again. To everyone’s surprise, she dressed in her best clothes and roamed through the streets. That particular Solstice Eve was different. All expected the snow to arrive. When the intense cold started everybody assumed snow would soon come along. This was how it always had been.

Mia searched in all street alleys. Everyone bought their last time presents, blissfully unaware of her existence. She dashed through each possible place for a person to be found. The Yule days ended and with them all Yule logs turned to ashes. The traditional Yule snow was sadly missed that year.

During two more Yuletide seasons she searched through all Arnsberg for any sign of him. Snow stopped falling in the Yule days.

In the third year she gave up. Happy families had supper in their warm and cozy homes. Mia collapsed in tears in the corners where the light of the the lamplights couldn't reach.

She wandered alone back to home. Her house once had a well-lit Yule Tree. Holly and mistletoes once hanged in these walls. Everything felt barren now. She finally started to understand what Chris meant by nothingness. Her house was a tomb, and it opened to swallow her whole.

Her mom entered that place without any problems. Mia often let the door open. Cat’s-eye wasn't a threat anymore, as so with death.

Mrs. Hayek did her best to dress as well as when she was younger. Without her hair, she had to rely on sheets and scarves to decorate her head. Overall, she though she did a great job.

For the first time in fifteen years, the Hayek Mansion would host a Solstice Eve ball. if it depended on Thomas and Sophia, the mansion's doors would never close to the community again.

“Mia, it’s your mother.” She announced before entering.

From the couch, Mia gazed at her with anger.

"Mia, please. Come spend the Yule with us!” She nearly cried. “You can’t spend the holidays here in this state."

"I see him here. In every place, in every corner." She started to cry. "I still see him."

Mrs. Hayek hugged Mia.

"This isn't fair. This isn't fair." Mia sobbed on her shoulder.

"I know how it is." Mrs. Hayek mourned.

Mia jumped out of her mother’s arms.

"You don't know how it is." She shouted.

"Yeah, I don't. It would be foolish to say I was exactly in your shoes.” She sat on the couch and rubbed her forehead. “I loved a man. I thought I would have him forever, then one day, he's gone. Your world is in pieces, and it's your job to clean up the shards."

She started sobbing.

“When your father died I though I would join him soon. The Yule Festival was the worst. Everything reminded me of him. I went to the church. I though the Silver God could help me. It didn’t worked.”

"Does this pain ever pass?" Mia asked.

"I want to say it does, but it doesn't. You learn to navigate through it all."

Mrs. Hayek and Mia hugged again. Not as mother and daughter, but as two women who felt empathy and understood the plight of each other. For a moment, all their differences crumbled to dust.

Mia stared at bright lights of the town through the window of her apartment.

"Nothing lasts forever." Mrs. Hayek said. "I wish I could meet your father earlier. Free of prejudices and interests. He was a special man. I wouldn't give up the moments I spent with him for nothing in this world."

Mia stepped closer to the shelfs in the corner and picked a small bottle. Tiny, and full of white sand and she held it closer. Those memories, Mr. Müller would never take away from her.

And there's no more to my story. All stories come to an end.

#christmas #holiday season #my writting #yuletide #writters on tumblr #my story #The Yule Man

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toxicsquad · 4 years

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There is no better way to get to know someone than through a good question tag. In this case we have decided to make an Indie game dev question tag with the responses of our four developers. We hope that it will reveal many unknowns, but if you are left with any questions, do not hesitate to use our ask.

What part of game development are you responsible for?

Athe: I write and write, I melt in my seat, I correct, I cry and then I program. It’s an endless cycle. Occasionally I laugh like crazy while I eat Pringles.

Sam: I draw and color without leaving the lines (almost always) the sprites, the illustrations and the ravings that usually occur to us past 3 in the morning.

Illy: English translations.

Sher: I draw BGs

What tools do you use (hardware / software)?

Athe: Recently my desktop PC has passed away, so I’ve had to rescue my old PC from the garage. I also have a laptop that saves my life more times than I would like to admit. As for the software, I need, above all, drive documents, video editing programs, image etc (I have an Adobe package) and of course Renpy and Atom.

Sam: My main friend and companion is my tablet, a wacom intuos S (pistachio color, so cute). As programs I mainly use the Paint Tool Sai, because there is nothing in this life like its stabilizer. And less frequently than I would like (for details, texture brushes, effects ...) I also use Clip Studio Paint, which I only know how to use at about 2% of its capacity ... If someday I have time I would love to stop and learn seriously what can be done with it.

Illy: During the school year I live in a residence, so I use an old laptop, and when I return home I use a desktop computer that never has memory space. I translate the chapters in the same Atom where the complete script is and I keep them in google drive files where I share them with our beta reader. I also use editing programs like photoshop when I have to translate comics or procreate for when my artistic skills are required.

Sher: ipad+procreate+some final tweak in photoshop, I don't need much more

What is your favorite part of the job?

Athe: Would it be wrong if I say that is when we released the episode? During the whole production time everything is very stressful, there are times when it’s really uphill, but when we release a new chapter it feels soooo good. It's like saying to yourself, yeah, dammit, I can do it. Look at everything you've climbed by yourself. You're doing it right.

Sam: In general, my favorite parts are when the first scenes start to be programmed, and I can see the sprites with the backgrounds, the texts, and how the illustrations look. Everything always looks so much better when viewed in-game… I also really like being able to check out the script as it is written. And from the artistic part that concerns me, when I see that my hands capture the idea that I had in my head ... Especially in character designs.

Illy: Having to find a way to translate very spanish expressions into English, research vocabulary that I have never had to use and commenting on some translations with our beta reader (which we adore) to make it understandable without losing the original meaning.

Sher: I like to do the lineart when the sketch is complete, if I no longer have to think about anything else and it's just going through it, I find it very fun and relaxing

What is the most difficult part for you?

Athe: Offf, yes, I admit it, sometimes writing is the WORST. Other times I love it, especially when I can expand on the descriptions or stop at a part that is intimate or that I find interesting (for example, Hasiel's conversation from 6.3, small spoiler: P). But, I HATE having to paste scenes, often the protagonist moves between scenes and you always have to add lines to those transitions that really do not interest anyone, but that otherwise the text would be confusing. Anyway... It is a very wide world, with a lot of history, I have to deal with what I need readers to know to understand the facts, although sometimes it gets a bit boring.

Sam: What part does not... Rather who e.e Zihel and Ariel are a thorn in my side. Especially Zihel. I know it has to do with the fact that it has never been my strength to draw boys, and much less if they are more masculine in appearance... That's why I also suffer a lot from drawing muscles. Another thing that brings me a headache is the perspective of the illustrations. Every time I try to get out of the typical shot or poses a little... It doesn't work out.

Illy: Doughy’s stuttering ¬.¬

Sher: chairs, sofas, tables... anything with four legs is my enemy

Anything to help or encourage you while you are working?

Athe: I need music, no, seriously, I NEED IT. I’m unable to focus without it. If, on top of that, I can get what I hear to act as a sounding board for what I write, the text is a thousand times better... But the muse is a pretty bad person.

Sam: Having a show/movie in the background that entertains me. The longer the better, so I don't have to stop to think what I want to put on next.

Illy: Eating sunflower seeds to trick my brain and not be tempted to do something else that distracts me.

Sher: I try to see other artists to motivate and inspire me before I start drawing, what I find most difficult is that initial push and that is where I need the motivation, then I usually have something in the background but it is not necessary

Something that’s a pet peeve or discouraging?

Athe: Some narrative climax moments. Generally, they are not important plot moments (that is almost entirely decided), they are often small decisions to go from scene A to scene B, but I can spend a LOT of time deciding which is the fastest and best way to tie those two ends. I'm the worst.

Sam: Many times when starting, I can't get the poses to fit the way I want, for example.

Illy: Finding many parts in a row that I find especially difficult to solve and that make me believe that I have forgotten how to English properly. And looking at how many lines I still have left.

Sher: When I don't know how to fill in some area, if I see something very empty but I don't know how to solve it, I can spend days looking at the screen without being able to advance, even if I have other areas that I could do in the meantime

What is required on your table or work surface?

Athe: Notebooks, sticky notes, pens… I’m a person who writes everything down, especially the tasks, but I also order the story by color schemes. The stack of sticky notes have 9 different colors, each one represents a character and I play a lot with them for a lot of nonsense. Besides, even though I have been writing on the computer for many more years than I wrote by hand, I still have a preference for the analogical.

Sam: Coffee, sweets, chocolate, cereals... And cats.

Illy: My phone, the sunflower seeds, a Capital America: Civil War 1L water cup, sticky notes that remind me of tasks.

Sher: I have nothing really lol all my things are for decoration

Your most productive hours?

Athe: Owl. Totally nocturnal. Although I have several crises a month to force myself to work at other times that always end... Wrong.

Sam: Also at night for the most part, although I can no longer stay awake as long as I endured before having a job (the good old days...) However, in the middle of the afternoon, when the zoo that I have at home is still taking a nap, I also manage to go a long way.

Illy: From when I finish eating until 7 or 8 in the afternoon, when I don't have to cook, clean, run errands...

Sher: I take over for Illy apparently, from 7 or 8 is when I start to get into the mood until bedtime

Do working hours make you forget to eat or make you eat twice as much?

Athe: It depends, in the past I ate a lot, now if I have stress I don't eat anything. If I'm in a normal productive phase and I'm not on my nerves, I'm probably eating by inertia.

Sam: They make me eat more, but especially junk food e.e And they make me forget healthy meals, especially dinner at night.

Illy: It depends on my mood, but I usually eat twice as much.

Sher: I'm generally a VERY distracted person so I don't usually get to focus on a task to get to either of those two modes but I guess when I am sooooooo much on the task, I forget. But that happens like a couple of times a year and "forgetting" is "I delay an hour."

What part of your set up would you improve / change (in aesthetics or functionality) if you had no money limit?

Athe: I'm trying to match some of my peripherals with the rest. They are all a damn different color, apparently I'm cursed... Now seriously, I wish I had a better graphic card that would allow me to make video captures, some speakers and a quality printer.

Sam: Actually, I don't think I need anything more complex than what I already have… But if I had to improve something, I'm curious about the most professional tablets, the big ones with the included screen and all that stuff.

Illy: A new laptop that lets me open 4 chrome tabs, Atom and photoshop at the same time without dying.

Sher: A pc screen that will not change the colors I use on the iPad would be nice, really

Which character are you most like? And why?

Athe: Phew I think the easy answer would be to say Akane ... But, Akane is a better person. : P

Sam: This is very difficult... They are all very different, but still I do not think I look much like any of them. If I have to say something, I could identify with Maske's tendency to avoid problems, and his more homey and calm side. And well… Since Akane has been an OC of mine for many years, surely I have something of her too.

Illy: I think I partly have Maske's instinct to stay out of trouble, and on the other hand Joe's shallowness, although tbh I wish I really did look like any of our awesome babies.

Sher: surprised because (unpopular opinion around here) is one of those who I "least care" about really but I would say that Pin because he is a little dumb, happy and probably has a Satanic room and proud of it

Favorite CG/art.

Athe: AT THE MOMENT. Maske chapter 1. It couldn't be more predictable. I know.

Sam: I quite agree with Maske in chapter 1. But I would also put Pin in chapter 5 and Akane in chapter 6.2 on the top.

Illy: Kyeran in Coco's tank ?? Is he even real? Being basic is my brand.

Sher: surprised again and disappointed but I would say that of angel Hasiel because I like pretty dresses, pretty hairs and pretty wings

Favorite BG/scene.

Athe: The Red Light District amazes me. I already liked the life of that place, its history, but the way of expressing it... Uggg Sher took it to another level. The dirt on the street, the night, the constricted buildings...

Sam: I think I’ll say Raziel’s square, I like it a lot from the first day.

Illy: I don't know if I can choose just one T__T but I would say that the Red Light District and Valefar's pub are at the top.

Sher: for not repeating the red light district that I also like very much, I really like the areas of Coco's laboratory, including the “main” area although the perspective is horrible and makes the characters look tiny, but I like how it looks :(

Your favorite chapter to date?

Athe: Ufff... The first and second one I assure you no, hahaha. I will say that the third one, but also for things that are not necessarily from the chapter, but of the production. It was a good moment. I felt that everything was flowing with ease. We all assumed a clear role, they were times that made us feel comfortable and capable of assuming what came next, I think it was a qualitative leap also, both in texts and in art.

Sam: Oh. Well let's see... Chapter 5 is amazing for me, for everything that happens but also because there are many personalized interactions and choices. I can't say I have a definitive favorite, but it could come close… Also from the last ones I really like the 6.2.

Illy: Chapter 5 has so many details, so many things happen, it's hard not to be my favorite. But the last ones with the specific routes are so great that if I stay with the 5 it’s with the pain of my heart to have to choose one.

Sher: I would say 5 also because in the end when a lot of things happen is when you remember the most

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No hay mejor forma de conocer a alguien que a través de un buen tag de preguntas. En este caso hemos decidido hacer un Indie game dev question tag con las respuestas de las cuatro desarrolladoras. Esperamos que os aclare muchas incógnitas, pero si os quedáis con alguna no dudéis en usar nuestro ask.

¿Qué parte del desarrollo del juego llevas a cabo?

Athe: Escribo, escribo, me derrito sobre mi asiento, corrijo, lloro y después programo. Es un ciclo sin fin. Ocasionalmente me río como una demente mientras como Pringles.

Sam: Dibujo y coloreo sin salirme de las líneas (casi siempre) los sprites, las ilustraciones y los desvaríos que suelen surgir a partir de las 3 de la mañana.

Illy: Las traducciones a inglés.

Sher: Hago fonditos

¿Qué herramientas utilizas (hardware/software)?

Athe: Recientemente mi PC de sobremesa ha fallecido, así que he tenido que rescatar mi viejo PC del trastero, también tengo un portatil que me salva la vida más veces de las que me gustaría admitir. En cuanto al software, necesito, sobre todo, documentos de drive, programas de edición de video, imagen etc (tengo un paquete de Adobe) y por supuesto Renpy y Atom.

Sam: Mi principal amiga y compañera es mi tableta, una wacom intuos S (color pistacho, muy cuqui.) Como programas uso sobretodo el Paint Tool Sai, porque no hay nada en esta vida como su estabilizador. Y con menos frecuencia de lo que querría (para detalles, pinceles de texturas, efectos…) también utilizo el Clip Studio Paint, el cual sólo se usar como a un 2% de su capacidad… Si algún día tengo tiempo me encantaría pararme a aprender seriamente todo lo que se puede hacer con él.

Illy: Durante el curso vivo en una residencia, así que uso un portatil del año que reinó carolo, y cuando vuelvo a mi casa un ordenador de sobremesa que nunca tiene espacio en la memoria. Los capítulos los traduzco en el mismo Atom en el que está el guión completo y los guardo en drive donde los comparto con nuestra beta reader. También uso programas de edición como photoshop cuando tengo que traducir viñetas o procreate para cuando mis habilidades artísticas son requeridas.

Sher: ipad+procreate+algún retoquito final en photoshop no necesito mucho más

¿Cuál es tu parte de favorita del trabajo?

Athe: ¿Estaría mal si digo que es cuando sacamos el episodio? Durante toda la producción todo es muy estresante, hay veces, que se hace realmente cuesta arriba, pero cuando liberamos un nuevo capítulo sienta taaaan bien. Es como decirte a ti misma, sí, joder, puedo hacerlo. Mira todo lo que has escalado tú solita. Lo estás haciendo bien.

Sam: En general, mis partes favoritas son cuando se empiezan a programar las primeras escenas, y puedo ver los sprites con los fondos, los textos, y cómo se ven las ilustraciones. Todo queda siempre mucho mejor cuando se ve dentro del juego… También me gusta mucho poder cotillear el guión conforme se va escribiendo. Y de la parte artística que me toca, cuando veo que mis manos plasman la idea que tenía en mi cabeza… Sobretodo en diseños de personajes.

Illy: Tener que buscar la forma de traducir a inglés expresiones muy nuestras, investigar vocabulario que no he tenido que usar jamás y comentar algunas traducciones con nuestra beta reader (a la que adoramos) para conseguir que se entienda sin perder el significado original.

Sher: me gusta hacer el lineart cuando el sketch está completo, si ya no tengo que pensar nada más y es solo ir repasando me parece muy divertido y relajante

¿Cuál es la parte que más te cuesta?

Athe: Ufff, sí, lo admito, escribir a veces es lo PEOR. Otras me encanta, sobre todo, cuando puedo explayarme con las descripciones o detenerme en una parte íntima o que a mí me parece interesante (por ejemplo, la conversación de Hasiel del 6.3, pequeño spoiler :P). Pero, ODIO tener que empastar escenas, a menudo el protagonista se mueve de escenarios y hay que agregar siempre líneas a esas transiciones que realmente no interesan a nadie, pero que de lo contrario el texto quedaría mal montado. En fin… Es un mundo muy amplio, con mucha historia, tengo que lidiar con lo que necesito que los lectores sepan para entender los hechos, aunque a veces se haga un pelín peñazo.

Sam: Qué parte no… Quiénes, más bien e.e Zihel y Ariel son mi espinita. Especialmente Zihel. Sé que tiene que ver con el hecho de que nunca ha sido mi punto fuerte dibujar chicos, y menos si son de aspecto más masculino… Por eso también sufro mucho dibujando músculos. Otra cosa que me trae de cabeza es la perspectiva de las ilustraciones. Cada vez que intento salirme un poco del típico plano o poses… No sale bien.

Illy: El tartamudeo de Doughy ¬.¬

Sher: sillas, sofás, mesas… cualquier cosa con cuatro patas son mis enemigos

¿Algo que te ayude o anime mientras estás trabajando?

Athe: Necesito música, no, en serio, LA NECESITO. Soy incapaz de concentrarme sin ella. Si ya consigo que lo que escucho haga de caja de resonancia de lo que escribo, el texto es mil veces mejor… Pero la musa es bastante mala gente.

Sam: Tener alguna serie/peli de fondo que me entretenga. Cuanto más larga mejor, así no me toca pararme a ver qué es lo que quiero poner después.

Illy: Comer pipas para engañar a mi cerebro y no tener la tentación de ponerme a hacer otra cosa que me distraiga.

Sher: intento ver otros artistas para motivarme e inspirarme antes de empezar a dibujar, lo que más me cuesta es ese empujón inicial y es donde necesito la motivación, luego ya suelo tener algo de fondo pero no es necesario

¿Algo que te corte el rollo o te desmotive?

Athe: Los nudos narrativos. Generalmente, no son nudos gordos de la trama (eso está decidido casi en su totalidad), a menudo son decisiones pequeñas para pasar de la escena A a la escena B, pero puedo tirarme MUCHO tiempo decidiendo cuál es la forma más rápida y mejor planteada para atar esos dos cabos. Soy lo peor.

Sam: Muchas veces a la hora de empezar, no conseguir encajar las poses como quiero, por ejemplo.

Illy: Encontrar muchas partes seguidas que me cueste especialmente resolver y que me hacen creer que no tengo ni idea de hablar inglés. Y mirar cuantas líneas me quedan todavía.

Sher: cuando no se como rellenar alguna zona, si veo algo muy vacío pero no se como solucionarlo puedo tirarme días mirando la pantalla sin ser capaz de avanzar, incluso aunque tenga otras zonas que pudiera ir haciendo mientras

¿Qué no puede faltar en tu mesa o superficie de trabajo?

Athe: Libretas, post-its, bolígrafos… Soy una persona que lo anota todo, sobre todo, las tareas, pero también ordeno la historia por esquemas de colores. La pila de post-its tienen 9 colores diferentes, cada uno representa un personaje y juego mucho con ellos para miles de idioteces. A parte, a pesar de que llevo muchos más años escribiendo a ordenador de los que escribí a mano, sigo teniendo querencia a lo físico.

Sam: Café, chucherías, chocolate, cereales… Y gatos.

Illy: El móvil, las pipas, un vaso de 1L de agua de Capital America: Civil War, post-its que me recuerdan las tareas.

Sher: no tengo nada realmente lol todas mis cosas son de adorno

¿Tus horas más productivas?

Athe: Búho. Nocturna totalmente. A pesar de que tengo varias crisis al mes para forzarme a trabajar a otras horas que acaban siempre… Mal.

Sam: También por la noche en su mayoría, aunque ya no aguanto trasnochando tanto como antes de trabajar (qué tiempos aquellos…) Aunque a media tarde cuando el zoo que tengo en casa aún está echando la siesta también consigo dar un buen empujón.

Illy: Desde que acabo de comer hasta las 7 o las 8 de la tarde, cuando no tengo que cocinar, limpiar, hacer recados...

Sher: le tomo el testigo a Illy aparentemente, a partir de las 7 u 8 es cuando empiezo a entrar en el mood hasta que llega la hora de dormir

¿Las horas de trabajo hacen que te olvides de comer o te hacen comer el doble?

Athe: Depende, antes comía mucho, ahora, si tengo estrés no como nada. Si me encuentro en un rango productivo normal y no estoy de los nervios, probablemente, esté comiendo por inercia.

Sam: Me hacen comer más, pero sobretodo porquerías e.e Y hacen que me olvide de las comidas sanas, sobretodo de cenar por la noche.

Illy: Depende de mi estado de ánimo, pero normalmente comer el doble.

Sher: en general soy una persona MUY distraída así que no suelo conseguir centrarme en una tarea para llegar a ninguno de esos dos modos pero supongo que cuando estoy muuuuuuy dentro de la tarea, me olvido. Pero eso pasa como un par de veces al año y “olvido” es “lo retraso una hora”.

¿Qué parte de tu set up mejorarías/cambiarías (en estética o funcionalidad) si no tuvieses límite de dinero?

Athe: Estoy tratando de que alguno de mis periféricos peguen con el resto. Todos son de un maldito color diferente, al parecer estoy maldita… Ahora en serio, desearía tener una mejor gráfica que me permitiese hacer videocapturas, unos altavoces y una impresora de calidad.

Sam: En realidad, no creo que necesitara nada más complejo de lo que ya tengo… Pero por mejorar, me llaman la atención las tabletas más profesionales, las grandes con la pantalla incluida y eso.

Illy: Un portátil nuevo que me deje abrir 4 pestañas de chrome, el Atom y photoshop al mismo tiempo sin quedarse tieso.

Sher: Una pantalla de pc que no me cambiara los colores que uso en el ipad seria bonito la verdad

¿A qué personaje te pareces más? ¿Y por qué?

Athe: Ufff Creo que la respuesta fácil sería decir Akane… Pero, Akane es mejor persona. :P

Sam: Esto es muy complicado… Son todos muy distintos, pero aún así no creo que me parezca mucho a ninguno. Por decir algo, me podría identificar con la tendencia a evitar problemas de Maske, y su lado más casero y tranquilo. Y bueno… Dado que Akane es OC mío de hace muchos años, seguramente tenga algo de ella también.

Illy: Creo que en parte tengo el instinto de alejarme de las movidas de Maske, y por otro la superficialidad de Joe, aunque tbh ojalá parecerme realmente a nuestros bebés geniales.

Sher: sorprendida porque (unpopular opinión por aquí) es de los que “menos me importan” realmente pero diría que Pin porque es tontito, feliz y probablemente tenga una habitación satánica y orgulloso de ello

Tu CG/arte favorito.

Athe: DE MOMENTO. Maske capítulo 1. No podría ser más predecible. Lo sé.

Sam: Coincido bastante en la de Maske del capítulo 1. Pero también metería en el top la de Pin del capítulo 5 y la de Akane del capítulo 6.2.

Illy: ¿¿Kyeran en el tanque de Coco?? ¿Es siquiera real? Ser básica es mi marca.

Sher: sorprendida de nuevo y decepcionada pero diría que la de Hasiel de ángel porque me gustan los vestidos bonitos, los pelos bonitos y las alas bonitas

Tu BG/escenario favorito.

Athe: Me flipa el Barrio Rojo. Me gusta la vida de ese sitio, su historia, pero la forma de plasmarlo… Uggg Sher lo llevó a otro nivel. La suciedad de la calle, la nocturnidad, los edificios constreñidos...

Sam: Creo que me quedo con el de la plaza de Raziel, me gusta mucho desde el primer día.

Illy: No sé si puedo elegir solo uno T__T pero diría que el Barrio Rojo y el bar de Valefar están en el top.

Sher: por no repetir el barrio rojo que también me gusta mucho, me gustan mucho las zonas del laboratorio de Coco, incluida la zona “principal” aunque la perspectiva sea horrible y haga a los pj parecer diminutos, pero me gusto como quedo :(

¿Tu capítulo favorito hasta las fecha?

Athe: Ufff… El uno y el dos os aseguro que no, jajaja. Diré que el tres, pero también por cosas que no son necesariamente del capítulo, sino de la producción. Fue un buen momento. Sentí que todo estaba fluyendo con facilidad. Todas asumimos un rol claro, unos tiempos que nos hacían sentir cómodas y capaces de asumir lo que venía después, creo que fue un salto cualitativo también, tanto en los textos, como en el arte.

Sam: Ay. Pues a ver… El capítulo 5 es una pasada para mi, por todo lo que pasa pero también porque hay muchas interacciones personalizadas y elecciones. No puedo decir que tenga un favorito definitivo, pero podría acercarse… También me gusta mucho de los últimos el 6.2.

Illy: El capítulo 5 tiene tantos detalles, pasan tantas cosas, que es difícil que no sea mi favorito, pero los ultimos de rutas específicas son tan geniales que si me quedo con el 5 es con un poco de dolor de tener que elegir uno.

Sher: Diría el 5 también porque al final cuando pasan muchas cosas es cuando mas se te queda grabado

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bladekindeyewear · 4 years

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HS^2 bloggin’ Patreon Commentary Catchup 2020-03-29

I know I’ve been sitting on half-a-dozen asks, but I’m gonna sit on those a little longer because after I’m done catching up on ALL the commentary I’ve missed I’ll probably be a little exhausted.

First the commentary on Chapter 5: YOUR 3Y3S H4V3 B33N CLOS3D. I skimmed this before, just so I could leave a comment about what I’d been told about the suicide feeling / Jaspers funeral when she was “eight” being way too late on the timeline. They still haven’t made any corrections to that HS^2 page. Hm. Are they just feeling the general vibe and tags to help the fandom guide things? I’m wondering if anyone came to any of them specifically with that, since Patreon commentary doesn’t seem to cut it. (Which I might be grateful for, from another point of view, because why would they favor paid methods.)

Sketches and Commentary: Chapter 5, "YOUR 3Y3S H4V3 B33N CLOS3D"

Starting commentary on why they played with the medium by opting for a Longpage with that update. Unsurprising and understandable~

Ooh, they included the commission/sketch instructions for the image they asked from Xam.

I don't know what we did to deserve Xamag.

Yeah few people dispute Xamag’s awesomeness.~

Much of this conversation was written before they launched HS^2′s first chapter, huh?

With the "primary" version of its original protagonist dead in a wallet,

Did... did Terezi or someone else put John’s body in his wallet after he died? I forget. *checks back*

(Meat 35) That’s definitely a fair question. But I have one that’s much more important for her to answer. Terezi, are you seriously just going to leave the body here? “TEREZI: HUH?” Of course not. Terezi’s a practical girl, after all. She digs the wallet out of her blood-stained pants, and captchas the corpse. She holds it close to her heart, like a secret. Like John’s stupid last words: a confession whispered for her and no one else.And then she starts walking home.

(Meat 36) Terezi’s jaw tightens. She’s not ready to hear any words that remind her of those few hours with John. Her hand goes to her pocket, where she’s keeping the wallet. She traces the contours of it with her thumb and forces a smile.

[...] Here we both are. It’s a beautiful day. You’ve got your dead boyfriend in your wallet. And we’ve already managed to strike such a nice metatextual rapport. So hear me out. [...] I ease the throttle back a bit, just enough so that I’m not whispering directly into her ear when she slips the wallet out of her pocket. She clutches it so hard in her palm that she’s digging dents into the leather, and bites her lip.

God damnit, that was an important fucking thing for me to forget. I hope she preserved his corpse in a better way than just “wallet”. And why the FUCK did Dirk think it was so important to bring him???? That’s not good, is it.

Back to the commentary, going to how the Dirk crew’s conversations especially cover the meta question of why continue the story at all...

This is actually a similar question to one explored by a series that shares a lot of Homestuck's creative DNA, Steven Universe.

Oh god damnit, what timing, huh? And then they go on about what constitutes a happy ending and what’s supposed to happen after, how work might not be done, et cetera. Hopefully these authors take a page from how SU:F finished, because Steven Universe managed to pull it back to uplifting pretty well.

These are two dangerous women, confined together long enough to learn all of each others' weaknesses, and sharp-edged enough to exploit them.

True enough.

Dirk, unfortunately, cucks the audience from seeing the scene's "true resolution." What an asshole. I've never been madder at this guy than I am right now. I bet he didn't even provide a warranty.

Pff.

On to the next commentary:

Sketches and Commentary: Catnapped, Part Three

Catnapped is some of the most fun I’ve had while writing, because Jasprose is just so goddamn fun. Cats don’t plan, they live in the moment. She’s always existing in that moment of pushing a glass off the table.

We can all agree with that I think.

Plenty they talk about here, but I’ll just quote part of anything about characterization...

First, I actually really appreciate getting a lot at Jane's genuine sympathy for Dirk here. There was quite a bit of mutual fondness and care between the two of them – but, at the same time, they enabled each others' worst tendencies.

Hm!

Swifer remains the closest thing to a "straight man" this story has. (Not in the sexuality way. In the comedy way.)

Yep.

There was no universe where we left this story without Jasprose saying "owo what's this". You know it, I know it.

Jesus Christ, I didn’t catch that.

God, Problem Sleuth just has the worst commuting luck. He should put some of his rug money into a permanent locksmith. Checking back in with these scenes is always a delight. It probably took PS like two hundred off-screen panels to get to this point. Miserable.

Wait, that’s right, Catnapped 28 is shown before DDD 12, but AFTER Dad is shown marching up handcuffed in Catnapped 26. And yet in DDD 12, Dad and DD come fetch PS from out of his office, when the handcuffed thing hasn’t happened yet in DDD. You can’t DO that, authors! It only makes RELEASE ORDER sense, not any sort of OTHER sense? What about when people come to catch up or read this later! Come on, that’s sloppy. Unless they’re going to leave PS behind to stay trapped in his office MORE, which I wouldn’t put past them. (But, wouldn’t make sense since the bullethole from C28 is already there in DDD12.) Andrew knew more of how to be responsible telling an out-of-time-sync story, believe it or not.

Commentary ends with a few sketches, like Jasprose doing a The Mask impression, appropriately.

Sketches and Commentary: Chapter 6, "A Conversation Regarding Relevance"

Oh, it’s Jade time.

On alt!Callie’s starting Space rant:

I wanted to impress on everyone just how vast it is, and also to remind the audience that alt!callie has them at the same mercy that Dirk does. She can force us to listen to her pontificate endlessly if she so chooses. She’s slightly less insufferable than Dirk, if only perhaps because her text isn’t orange.

Yep, mostly.

So here she is. Jade. We find out that not only is she conscious inside her own head, she is also incredibly chatty. And not too thrilled with her current situation. I know most of the audience isn’t either, considering the fact that Jade having no agency has basically become a meme at this point.

NEVER. AGAIN. PLZ.

As Callie told us in the beginning of the chapter, it isn’t natural for people to behave like narrative devices. Even within her own thematic framework, Callie has a habit of defaulting to behaving like a person after all.

Even alt!Callie still became a story nerd, not just original Callie -- she just became a different, more insufferable type of story nerd.

Plenty more discussion I don’t need to touch on... keep in mind I’m omitting large parts of this in most cases, again, to respect the paywall.

A remark on Dave and Karkat being two emotionally-constipated early-twenties Bernie Bros, which... I mean. Fair.

She definitely does love them, and she wanted to be with them, but also...Jade has a lot of other prospects. She’s actually the one character who seems to be enjoying her time on Earth c. Hitting up interspecies raves and getting around. We just haven’t seen any of that because none of those other people she boned are main characters.

Maybe that’s why alt!Callie was so blind and dismissive of it? Offscreen experience being less in the Light, therefore less relevant to her, even though that’s the exact attitude she’s ostensibly at war with?

Anyway Jade’s consciousness is huge.

Yep.

It’s been a while since we’ve had any sort of serious meta talk about classpects. Mostly because there’s really no use for classpects outside of the game, unless, for instance, you go around referring to everyone as the Prince or the Witch because you are a dramatic alien in a hood. It does make sense that a Witch’s powers would be more useful than a Sylph’s to a Muse.

Aaaand that’s all the classpect mention we’re gonna get isn’t it? ;P

(Yes I know, the author told us to dial it back. They ARE going ahead and prepping to answer some outstanding questions, though.)

Honestly, the Jade Situation is a tough one. To be sure, she has been sacrificed to the plot again and again, something that probably began as a coincidence and then later grew into a theme. Space players are destined to be huge, cosmic forces in the universe. Big movers. [...] But usually when we hear the story of big, god-like beings, we don’t think about the personalities behind them. What was it like for god to create the universe? Was he lonely? Did he regret it? Did he wish he could live in it instead?

And Jade WAS too powerful not to sideline, by a certain point in the plot. And before that, maybe trapped in a bit of a character arc where she had to get over some notions to step into the action.

I actually think Jade could have been okay with this. With being A Force For The Narrative. [...] But then Callie makes it personal.

Agreed. If alt!Callie hadn’t been so shitty about it in general, they could have worked things out more meaningfully; but the immense resolve and effort it took to dominate Caliborn in her origin timeline has tainted her perception ALMOST as bad as Dirk’s. Much of HS^2 is probably going to involve her gradually learning how to get over that in the background, the balance she needs to take ala the Ultimate Riddle’s lesson.

(Tangentially... it was said that it would have been nearly impossible to make alt!Callie dominate, even across ALL timelines. What if alt!Callie had her timeline’s origin explained in HS^2 by a Third Scratch at this late date with the likes of Davebot running around to do it??? That would probably make me fucking mad.)

Back to the commentary.

Admittedly these last few chapters have definitely been “girls beating the crap out of each other” heavy, and I hope that’s okay.

PFFFFF

Callie and Jade aren’t really sure who makes a decision on what is considered “just” or “heroic”. Plot twist, it’s us. We do. But also the alpha timeline does.

Hmm.

More gorgeous Xam art. Initially we were going to make it more ambiguous whether or not she actually ate the peanut butter, but we decided to have it be a decisive moment of triumph.

Really? Well, you could have made it visually clearer that the candy dropped. A lot of people visually missed that. This is a consequence of the back-and-forth artist-isnt-the-author art-commissioning going on, in part... Andrew was MUCH better at conveying what he wanted to convey BETWEEN panels than this crew, like comic book panels and their composition together; you can see that when comparing Homestuck proper’s sprite animation to that of fan adventures that used sprites, for instance. These guys are at something of a disadvantage due to their disconnect.

Commentary on the Commentary

This commentary uses "she/her" to talk about the alternate Calliope possessing Jade, while the "other" Callie (remember them?) uses they/them. This other Calliope, presumably, has a much different relationship with her gender – and her brother – than the Callie we saw discussing the subject with Roxy and John. One of my favorite things about this update (I can say that, because I'm a second person who didn't write it) was that subtle hint about how different her Caliborn must have been to allow her to predominate in the first place. I'd be really interested in fan works exploring more about her (and his) past.

Hhhhmmmmmmm.

Not sure what else to say to that, but it does make me hmmm.

Sketches and Commentary: Diamonds, Dames, and Dads, Part 1

Probably not much plot-relevant here...

Oh pff.

They had full drawings of them going in for the kiss on standby. They couldn’t resist making them.

Real talk, I have been looking forward to writing this story the most out of any other part of HS^2. Finally I get to combine my passions. Cheesy noir bullshit and old men making eyes at each other.

Pfffffff. Yes.

...the next three or four pages of this writing go on to describe how sexy this is and these characters and setting are. I can’t fault a word of any of it.

The dream team is assembled. Nothing can possibly go wrong.

Wow, I caught up on all this commentary quick. See you next time.

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #bladekindeyewear #blastyoboots #Homestuck Commentary #spoiler #spoilers

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