#anything else can wait. and tbh its taking all my self control not to go groveling back like...may i have a puppy after all?? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

roger-that-cap · 3 years

Text

brand new eyes

wanda maximoff x fem!reader

summary: having a penpal in the sixth grade was overdone, in your opinion. and handwritten letters just weren’t convenient. you weren’t happy at all to start talking to some random girl your age across the sea, but once you started, neither of you could find it in you to stop.

warnings: fluff!!!! mutual pining. badly written letters (actually the whole one shot). brief battle with sexuality. a seriously strong connection between two characters (almost soulmate territory here tbh). every single mistake here is 100% mine!

word count: 8.7k!

At first, you were sure that the pen pal letter suggestion for extra credit was stupid. Why would you handwrite a letter when you could send an email? Why would you send a letter by mail that would take much longer? It took two weeks for a handwritten letter to arrive, and only seconds for an email. It didn’t make any sense.

And then you got your first letter.

You realized very quickly why handwriting was what your teachers asked for. You never knew that handwriting could be so vulnerable, so open. You had never seen letters that were so loopy, so delicate. That letter was written so neatly and so personally even if the girl who had written it hadn’t meant it to be that way, and you knew that a computer even with all of its special fonts wouldn’t be able to do that.

You understood why the handwritten rule was there.

But you didn’t like it when it was your turn to craft something so beautiful.

It wasn’t a competition by any means, but you didn’t want your letter to look anything like the words you scratched down into your notebooks. You wanted them to be neat and pretty and most of all understandable for the girl behind the pen and across the sea, because she had done the same for you.

By the time you stopped ogling over the letters and started actually reading the words that the girl had written, you learned her name. You learned it within the first line, actually.

Wanda Maximoff.

She was obviously from Sokovia, she spoke English as her second language, and she had an older twin brother that she both adored and was annoyed by. She was in the equivalent of your grade in her country, and she liked to cook with her parents. The letter was basic and slightly elementary, just an introduction to what she was willing to share with a stranger that lived thousands of miles away.

But that didn’t make it any less special.

You started on your return letter minutes after you let her pretty words sink in.

You drafted your letter and let it sit for an hour without you looking at it, and then came back to it only to cross things out and revise it, and then put it on the expensive paper that your mother had bought for you. It wasn’t perfect, but it was yours. It started with a greeting, your name, and then into the same sort of things that she spoke about in her own letter, the things that people that went to school with you had learned in passing over the years.

It felt like giving someone the rundown of your uneventful life so far in the simplest of ways. It felt like someone getting to know you as you wanted them to, because you were telling your story. There was no other side, or truth, or lie, just what your pen and your brain decided to write. It was controlled chaos. And you adored it.

Your print was easy to read. It wasn’t loopy like hers or as “girlish”, as one of your classmates said when you brought both letters to school to get an extra one hundred. It wasn’t fancy and alluring like hers, but there was still something magical on the pseudo-aged parchment.

You sent it off to the post office the next day, and you put her letter on your desk.

§§§

By the time that your third letter from her came, you already were drafting your own. It came straight to your mailbox and when you checked the mail that morning, you were ecstatic to see it waiting for you, like a pet waiting for it’s person to come home. As usual, it started off with the gentle scrawl of your name, just a bit larger than all of the rest of the words that were on the page.

I can’t believe that it’s already been weeks of us writing. We started in August, and it’s nearing the end of October. Speaking of, is it starting to get cold there for you? It’s already cold for us. Our grandmother always makes us the best tea and soup when it gets cold outside, and I could send you the recipe if you wanted!

My brother and I are curious about one thing, and we hope that we get your answer in time, but, is Halloween really a thing? We have both heard of it, but we’ve never done it here. It sounds magical. I’ve always wanted to dress up however I wanted and get candy for it. If I were to do it, I would probably be a Disney Princess, maybe Merida. Sadly, we don’t do that here. Does it really happen in the United States, or is that a movie thing?

Hopefully you don’t mind my questions much, or my short letter. Pietro likes to read over my shoulder while I write and receive the letters, and I like to write at the kitchen table. There’s no escaping him. You’ve never talked about siblings, do you have them?

The rest of the letter was like that, aloof yet curious and bouncing around all the same, and then signed with her always rushed conclusion, which was nearly the same every time.

You read it and put the letter in the box that you had bought from a thrift store, a box just big enough for the size of the neatly folded and tied off letters that she gave you. You clipped the box shut and put it back under your desk, and then started working on your response.

Instead of just a letter, you sent her a letter in a small box that had the candy that you had gotten on Halloween night, and the mask that went with the rest of your costume. It wasn’t the Disney Princess that Wanda wanted to dress up as, but it was something. It was your something.

§§§

As the December portion of your letter writing, you and your penpal were supposed to learn of the other’s traditions during the Holidays, whether you or them celebrated or not. A huge slide show about the culture of your Sokovian friend was supposed to be shown, and you knew that there would be a lot of the same PowerPoints, a lot of the same pictures and sayings and explanations. You wanted something different. You also had no idea if Wanda did Christmas, but you had to ask.

Wanda,

I’m sure that you know that our assignment now is to present a slide show about what our penpal does during the Holiday season, but because I don’t know whether you celebrate Diwali or Christmas or Hanukkah, I’ll start with asking you about New Years, because I’ve never met a person who didn’t celebrate New Years.

What do you do on New Years Eve? I’ll start by telling you that I watch the ball drop with my family, eat food, and drink cider after it hits midnight. It’s a big deal here for us, because the new year is a time for self revolution, apparently. I’ve never done a New Years resolution, but maybe I’ll do one this year. Have you ever done one?

I know that food is very big over in Sokovia, so what kind of food do you traditionally have when you’re celebrating? Do you like it? Can you cook it yourself? Because I know that you have the same questions for me that you have to put in before you leave for Winter Break, I’ll answer my own questions.

And you did. You were thorough, partly because you thought that it was kind of you to do so because she should get a good grade, and also because she had written that she was thankful for your descriptions on multiple occasions. You had noticed that she was the more whimsical writer and that you came off as the more grounded one, and it intrigued you.

You wondered if you two would come off that way in person to other people, if you ever got the chance to meet.

When her letter came two weeks later, wrapped in aged string as always, you skipped to your bedroom, already pulling the box out from under the table and starting to read it. You smiled through the whole thing.

In her own way, not as precise or even in order as you, she had told you everything you needed to do a good slide show about Sokovia during the Holidays.

§§§

You were emotional at the end of the year. Not because you were leaving the sixth grade and going to a new building in the school and leaving behind your kind teachers, but because the pen pal assignment was over.

No other assignment had been so important to you, or eye opening. You were only twelve years old, but you were old enough to know that you had never found a friend like you had in Wanda, who was still thousands of miles away. No one else, not even the people that stood feet apart from you, offered you friendship like Wanda Maximoff did.

You couldn’t stop writing to her.

It was your turn to send a letter, the final letter that you were supposed to send, and then her closing letter was supposed to come two weeks later. You couldn’t just close it. Your entire mind was screaming at you to not close the book that you had hardly started yet.

So, as your pen rested on the parchment paper (without drafting first), you lifted it up, and changed your mentality from a “goodbye” to a hopeful and questioning one, as you hoped that she felt the same and wanted to talk just as much as you did.

Wanda,

It’s the end of the year. Technically, we should be done with our letters because it’s the end of the year, and the assignment is graded. This should be a closing letter, but I don’t think that our friendship was ever dictated by the grades that we got. We were always closer than all of the other pen pals at school that I knew, and I was hoping that you would want to continue writing.

You couldn’t write much more after that, because your pen was shaking and you were starting to get in the danger zone of dropping tears on the paper. If this was your last letter to Wanda, you wanted it to be pretty. Just half as pretty as she always made hers, if you could manage it.

You sent it off the next morning after finding an old string that was nearly the same colors as hers and getting your friend across the street to hold it down and color the outside of it for you.

§§

A part of you wanted to say that you wouldn’t have been expecting to still write handwritten letters to a girl in Sokovia in the ninth grade, but you certainly were. While everyone else in your class had lost contact after the assignments were done or tried and failed to keep contact afterwards, you and Wanda continued talking all through the years.

It astounded your parents, who were sure that in the beginning, you were just obsessed with someone who was your age and who wasn’t exactly like you. They thought for sure that you would have lost interest in talking to Wanda, but after three straight years, gas spent taking you to the post office, and money spent on special stamps and the same paper, they were starting to finally get the hint.

Because you were so close with Wanda, you hardly had close friends in your neighborhood, and maybe two or three at school. There was no one that knew you like Wanda did, and no one that knew Wanda like you did. One particular letter where you confessed probably the worst thing you had ever done to her that no one else knew was what finally let you know that she was the most judgement-free person in the world, and that you would do anything to keep her. You would never forget how the letter went, and how her response sounded.

Wands,

I’ve done something terrible. I may have accidentally gotten involved with a boy who already had a girlfriend, and I had no idea. I had literally no idea, and today she just called me out of nowhere and started crying over the phone to me, and I had no idea that he was with her. At all. It was so pitiful, and she’s not mad, and she says that she won’t tell anyone it was me, but still. She seemed to really like him, and I think I may have just ruined a relationship. I have no idea what to do, and all I feel is guilt. Nothing more or less. Should I send her something? Give her a gift card? I feel terrible because she was just so sweet about it.

The letter went on and on with your scripted rambling, so repetitive and panicked that you were shocked to know that Wanda had, in fact, read the entire thing. She got a message back to you rather quickly, and that made you both nervous about her verdict and glad, because you felt like with an answer so quick, she must not have judged you too harshly. You remembered opening it with shaky hands, and inhaling and exhaling when her first words after your nickname were “breath in” and “breathe out”.

Wanda once said that writing to you was like writing to a diary who always wrote back, and you couldn’t agree more. She knew everything, and she never judged. And, when the time came for her to put all of her eggs in your basket of trust, you did the same for her.

You distinctly remembered getting the few letters that you kept at the bottom of your letter stack, even though you liked to have them in chronological order. In the eighth grade, Wanda was having a crisis over her sexuality. Being anything but straight in Sokovia wasn’t the best thing to be, and you knew that. The first letter she ever sent you about her sexuality had dried spots on it, where she had obviously cried. Her handwriting wasn’t anywhere as neat as it usually was, and it sent you into a state of panic.

We talk to each other about everything, so here I am asking for your advice because I won’t be getting anything here. I know that usually we keep our letters formal for aesthetic purposes, but I can’t this time. Also, no one other than you can read this.

From there, she told you that she was sure that she liked women, and that she was even more sure that her parents would be upset at her. She told you that she had been dwelling on it for a while, thinking about it and having it weigh heavily on her mind. She was all over the board with it, from her parents being upset to her being afraid that you were going to be opposed to it as well, or tell her that she was “too young to think that way”. She ended the letter by telling you that you were the first person that she had ever told.

You started your letter with your own confession, and Wanda Maximoff was the first one you ever told, too. You were past having your crisis, though, and you helped her through hers without a second of complaints. You always wished that you had someone to help you when you were down and questioning yourself, so you knew that you would be that for Wanda without hesitation.

You two grew together even more, and by the ninth grade, you both knew that there wasn’t going to be anything in the world that could stop your letters.

You came home one day after a long day and checked your mailbox out of habit, knowing that a letter wasn’t due for a few more days. But there it was, wrapped and sitting pretty for you. Your name was scrawled beautifully on the front in the handwriting that got better and better with every year, but you would recognize it anywhere. A smile grew onto your face as you walked to your front door, unlocking it and rushing inside to get to your desk. Of course, your name came first in the loopy letters.

I hope you’re doing alright! Things have been busy over here on my side of things, but never busy enough to not write you back. I just wondered, have been wondering for a while, really, if we were ever going to meet. We’ve been writing to each other for years, but I’ve never seen a picture of you. I know everything about you, but I’ve never met you. You are my best friend in the entire world, but I’ve never heard your voice. One day I would love to finally meet you. Would you be open to thinking about one of us flying out? Maybe after school is over for the both of us, we could make it happen. Number

It was much longer than that, but that was what caught your attention, more than her description of her busy week did. You read the letter three times. And then again. Your heart thumped in your chest as you tried to get a grip on yourself, irrational nervousness gripping your throat like an iron fist.

You knew the day was coming. You knew that it was. You two didn’t know what the other looked like at all, and neither of you had ever asked. Sometimes, you thought about it, but other times you found that it really didn’t matter. It didn’t matter what she looked like because she was the best friend you had ever had, so you forgot about it. But that wasn’t what worried you.

The thought of meeting her nearly put you in cardiac arrest. You couldn’t meet her. What if you met and you two were totally bored of each other? What if how close you were on paper didn’t reflect at all in real life? What if you two found roadblocks in conversation that you never saw before? You didn’t want to meet her, not at all. You were terrified of it.

Because if you didn’t connect with Wanda on sight, then you doubted that you would ever be able to connect with anyone else. If you were wrong about Wanda being your person and her being yours, you would be crushed. If you figured out that the person who you gave your all for didn’t like you anymore after meeting you, you would die on the spot. You couldn’t afford to find it out.

You sat at your desk for an hour after reading her letter, smoothing your hand over the paper like you always did before you wrote your response. You knew what you needed to say, you just didn’t know how to say it.

What she had already written helped you, too. She was implying that they met up after graduation, which was still years away. You had time to hold off on it, to not talk about it for a while. You had some stall time in the bank, for sure. And you were going to use it.

§§§

You made the mistake of not putting the letter in your box.

Your mother came into your room, and she saw the letter. Your desk was typically off limits, so you were upset that she read it anyway, but what she said led all anger out of your body and made way for fear.

“You should totally go see your friend, sweetie!”

“What?”

“I’d pay for you to fly out,” your mom said. “I’d come with you, but I would pay for you to fly out and see your friend. You’ve been writing each other for three years now, and you’ve never seen each other. You guys should do it.”

“You’d fly me out to Sokovia?”

“You’re a great kid, of course I would.” You took the letter from her hands gently and put it in the box, and she gave you a look. “You don’t want to go, do you?”

You didn’t answer.

“Why not?”

“I’m scared to meet her,” you admitted plainly, and then your mother gave you a look.

“She seems so excited to, after all these years. She’s such a sweet girl, what are you worried about?”

You couldn’t answer that. Your fears were your own, and they sounded ridiculous out loud. They made no sense to everyone else, and sometimes not even to you. Wanda Maximoff was nothing but sweet and kind and a good friend, and there you were, trying to blow her off because you were scared of a possible lack of face to face connection.

“Can we just drop it?”

And you did. In fact, all four of you did, until later.

§§§

By the end of your junior year, you were done for. Not because of tests or applications or any of that, it was because you realized that you were in deep for Wanda Maximoff.

It all made sense. The need to keep writing to her, the excitement you had felt getting a letter since sixth grade, the way you marveled over her penmanship and loved everything that she said and did. You were so in love with her, and it was irreversible. You were in love with her and what the two of you created together.

And you couldn’t lose that because of a bad meeting.

You avoided the topic of going there or Wanda coming to you, and you finally got each other’s numbers so that you could text on some international texting app, but primarily, it was still the heartfelt letters with the occasional heart stamps and constant string coming your way. And you wouldn't haven’t wanted anything different.

You sat at your desk on the last day of school as you wrote to her, writing about how you were about to watch some of your slightly older friends graduate in a few days. You also mentioned how you were excited to be a senior and get through your last year of high school just so that you could go and do whatever it was that you wanted to do, because you were only seventeen, and you didn’t know anything.

Sunshine,

I can’t wait to get out of high school. It’s not bad, just boring. I wish the people here were like you, and then maybe I could actually carry a conversation with them. Have you told your family yet? I told mine. My mom was… shocked to say the least, but she was fine with it. I think she might have suspicions about us writing to each other now, but who cares? I want to know if you’re alright.

How’s your new job going? I know you were excited to get one, so I hope it’s treating you well. It’s funny that you and Piet work across the mall from each other. I knew it was gonna be like that, even though you said it wouldn’t be! You two are inseparable, it’s so cute. Does he have any idea what he wants to do after we get out of school?

I kind of think that I want to start my own business. A flower shop, maybe. You know how I sort of have a green thumb. I think it would be good for me to own something. What do you think?

You wrote for about thirty minutes more, answering the questions she had asked you in a previous letter and signing your name at the bottom, a small smile on your face as you thought about her and her brother making food together like they always did.

You loved her. You really did.

§§§

It was in the middle of your senior year when you realized what the problem with her coming was. You had been keeping it so far in the back of your mind that you didn’t even realize that the alarms were blaring in the back of your head.

You knew that if you saw Wanda in person once that you would never be able to let her go. You would have to pick up and move to her country or she would come to yours, and it would kill your mother for you to move. So, that would mean that you would be asking for Wanda to leave her own family to be with you, and you couldn’t be selfish.

So, you would be selfish in a way that was also selfless by holding off on seeing her.

You hadn’t told her that you loved her, and you planned on never admitting it. You were sure she kind of knew, even just a little, but she never said anything. The way that you were holding onto the idea of her probably said enough for her to know. You just hoped that she knew that you were in love with her as a friend, at least. Wanda was the type who needed to know that they were loved, and she so was.

You loved her without even knowing what she looked like. You loved her without knowing whether she had a nasty habit or if she was a neat freak. You loved her without seeing her in a dress or in your favorite color or even looking into her eyes. You had never even heard her voice before, but that didn’t matter at all. You fell in love with her hand writing, then the way that she wrapped her letters, and then her words themselves. And then, you just were in love with Wanda Maximoff. All of her. All that you knew. And the things that you didn’t.

You thought about a confession letter for a long time. You were terrified of it, to say the least, because what if it backfired? What if she thought that you were only interested because she came out to you? What if she thought that you didn’t mean it at all?

Or worse, what if she just completely didn’t feel that way at all? What if the feeling she got when she wrote to you was nothing but platonic? That would be the biggest nightmare of all, and you had no idea how you were ever going to be able to pick up your fancy pen and put it to your special parchment after reading that.

By the time that you finally stopped wrestling with yourself about whether you were going to tell her that you were in love with her, you got a letter in the mail. A heart stamp was on the outside and it was tied with the string it always was, and the familiarity calmed your racing heart. You opened it gently, like you did with all of the letters you got, and then you saw her familiar scrawl.

How could someone’s handwriting feel like home?

Moonlight,

I would love to tell you about everything that’s been happening here, but I believe that it’s rather boring compared to what’s been bursting at the seams in my own mind. With every letter that I’ve ever written to you since we were thirteen, I’ve hesitated with my pen over telling you what I know has been true for years. I think that, finally, I know that I have something to say to you. I’ve always wanted to admit this to you, ever since the seventh grade.

I think that I fell in love with you, a long, long, time ago. I think that I know I did. I haven’t told you, and I never intended to tell you, because I was scared. I’m still scared here, as I write this letter, but I can’t keep it to myself anymore.

Pietro already knows, but he knew before I even did. I’m sure it has something to do with us being so in sync, that he knew where my heart, love, and loyalties were before I even knew myself. I tell you everything, and something as monumental as falling in love with someone, I believe that you should know. But I couldn’t tell you. Not in the beginning, and apparently, not even after a year or two.

I’ve never seen you or heard your voice or held your hand, but I don’t need that to know that I truly have fallen in love with the person that you are. You are a beautiful person with the most gorgeous soul I have ever had the privilege of talking to, and I think that we have stumbled upon a connection that we may never see again, if you feel the same way.

If this made you uncomfortable in any way, please tell me. I’m sorry if this came on too strong, or too up front. I never want to make you upset.

It’s okay if you don’t want to carry on writing to me after this letter. I just thought that I needed to tell you after all this time. We never lie to each other, and I think that this lie to save me from possible embarrassment or losing the greatest friend I have ever had has expired. Thank you as always for reading, Moonlight.

Your Sunshine, Wanda.

Your jaw was slacked, and your mouth was open. Your heart was beating so quickly, but it wasn’t frantic. Your mind was going at a thousand miles a minute, but you were calm. You were supposed, but you weren’t. It simply felt… right. It felt like you had secretly been expecting it all along, like your soul had known the whole time, or maybe even like it had known that you felt the exact same way. It felt like you were receiving news that you had already heard about.

But that didn’t take away any from the pure elation that you felt. You set the letter down so that you didn’t accidentally wrinkle it, and then put your head in your hands to hide your smile and think, like they would help you any.

She loves me. Wanda loves me. And not in the way that friends loved each other, that’s not how she loved you. She felt what you had been feeling, a bond so strong that it could be felt on paper.

Your hands shook as you reread the letter. You scanned over it for a second time, a third time, and you were tearing up by the fifth, finally setting it down again and leaving it on your desk. It didn’t deserve the beautiful darkness of the box where it’s predecessors went, not yet. Probably not ever. You would have framed it in the moment, if you could have.

Part of you was glad that she admitted it first. You were going to, one day, maybe. But the worst part was the hypothetical wait for the letter to cross the pond. Whoever sent the confession letter would have to wait about two weeks for a response, and that felt like forever. You knew that just as much as she did, and she still took the chance to do it.

So, with the most fond and gentle smile on your face, you took out your special pen, wrote Sunshine as the entrance, and then professed your own love right back at her, trying as hard as you possibly could to make it as beautiful and raw for her as you felt on the inside, and as the one that she gave you. But, all you could think of were the first two sentences, but you knew that you were going to go for much longer than that.

Sunshine,

Oh, Wanda. How I wish we were both brave enough to do this earlier.

§§§

By the end of your senior year, you two were dancing around each other, taking it slow, as if you both hadn’t professed your love for each other. You kept writing your steady letters to each other, the same nicknames, the same doting words and pretty scratched across the paper with dark ink.

For the most part, nothing changed. But neither of you could deny the way that you wanted to see each other. And so, your time was up. You had to stop messing around.

The first time the two of you planned to see each other, it was supposed to happen over that summer break. It was supposed to be a nice experience for everyone, at a time that was actually pretty convenient.

And then, right during the week she was supposed to come, her aunt passed away, right in her sleep. It didn’t even come to your mind to think about rescheduling so fast, and that was the first time you had ever gotten an email from Wanda. She emailed you the morning that she found out, saying that she would rather send the first email than have you show up at the airport upset because you didn’t know she wasn’t coming. She was able to resell her ticket and you assured her that it was totally okay for her to not be coming, and you gave her condolences, as well. Wanda was very close to her family, and you knew that she felt that loss.

The next time the plans fell through, it was because you were going to surprise her. Your mom paid for your ticket, and you had finally grown out of your own mind and realized that it was going to be what it was regarding meeting Wanda. But, when you emailed her two nights before, spilling the beans because you didn’t want to just go to the airport without knowing how the hell to get around, you got a quick response. Turns out, she wasn’t anywhere near her house, or the airport. She was on a marine biology trip in some waters off the coast of Romania, and she hadn’t gotten the chance to write you all about it yet. You begrudgingly canceled the trip and told her that of course, it was alright. That night, your mom assured you that the two of you would just try again later.

But then life happened. You went off to culinary school, a last minute yet sure decision after Wanda had taught you that there was so much more to love about food other than the taste. She had your new address and you had hers, because she moved from Sokovia to Italy for her marine biology major. The letters came and went faster, with the smaller amount of mileage.

Long story short, neither of you had enough money to go and spend thousands on a trip, and not even one helping the other out or splitting the cost helped much. Wanda was getting increasingly nervous about whether it was ever going to happen, and though she never stated it directly, it was very obvious. You were getting there, too.

The thing that kept you going was the letters. The same as they had always been on her end and yours, they were the one constant in your life. Wherever you went, you knew that her letters would follow you, and that you would still write from your heart and send your own across the sea over to some place in Europe. You knew that as long as her letters were lengthy and detailed and that if she took the time to wrap them as gently as she had been, that you two were strong. And as long as you kept giving advice and writing her entire short stories about you week, she knew that you were still hers.

You would be hers until your heart stopped beating, and long after that. You were there for her for as long as she wanted you to be, and that was widely known.

§§§

It took four years for you to get back home and in a place where you could afford a ticket in or out. Wanda took a little longer, but that didn’t matter. It only gave you even more time to save and plan for when she came, and the date came.

You were both twenty two when you bought her the winning ticket. You were flying her out to Florida for a week and a half. The Keys, to be exact. You knew that she was going to love it and the beautiful waters that came with it, and it was away from the meddling eyes and mouths of your family, the ones who had been routing for you from afar (and in the beginning, behind your back). It was just going to be the two of you in a condo, and you knew that it was going to be heaven on earth.

Now, hell on earth was the anticipation of waiting at the airport. You had no idea what Wanda Maximoff looked like, partially because it didn’t matter while you two wrote, and also because you wanted to see her for the first time in person. You two had a flare for dramatic romantics, another reason that you two clicked so well.

You stood with a sign that you had made the night before with paint that you had mixed yourself into her favorite shade of red, a scarlet, almost pink color. You were in a sundress because it was sweltering outside, and you were almost nervous about how she would take the heat after being somewhere so cold all of her life. You were rocking back and forth on your feet without even noticing, and your stomach growling was the last of your worries. Your heart was racing and your hands were shaking, but you willed them to stay still so that she could at least have a chance of reading it.

You were sure that you were about to pass out. It seemed like it had been millennia and a day all the same with her in your life. Everything that you had written each other was really about to come to life, after ten long years. You felt almost like it wasn’t real at all, like you were about to be woken up by your alarm back in your apartment over at your old school. But it was very, very real, and all the receipts and your racing heart advocated for the truth in it all.

The gates opened, and all of a sudden, people were lazily walking out, as one would do after a long flight. You were certain that the woman who was standing next to you could hear you start to slightly hyperventilate, but you didn’t care. The only thing that mattered to you in that moment was Wanda.

A man came up from behind you and bumped you, and he said his apologies while you bent down to pick up the sign. Despite your nervousness, you stopped to tell him that it was okay, sign still face down on the floor. He grinned at you and then frowned when he looked up, causing you to mirror his expression.

Your name. It was clear as day, accented, close, and sounded like a sigh of relief and wonder floating in the wind. It came from a woman you didn’t know the voice of, and just like that, you remembered what you were doing. You left the sign on the floor, stood up, and turned around as fast as you could, eyes slightly wild as they soaked in everything about the woman standing in front of you.

Her hair was almost a cross between light brown and light red, even in the fake lights of the airport. She had light makeup on and she looked a little tired from the flight, but the look of elation on her face wiped it all away. Her pink lips were curved into an open mouthed smile, like she had forgotten the words while they were already halfway to her tongue. Your heart raced as you looked at her, and you didn’t even need to question who she was. Or who she was to you. You couldn’t look at anything but her face, the face you had been missing so achingly without ever seeing it before, the face that you knew was bound to give you comfort that you had never felt one in your life, until the end of your days. Her eyes were wide and a clear blue as they stared back at you, reflecting your exact expression, and you sensed that the two of you had already synced up and gotten on the same page, just like you had both predicted.

“O-oh my god,” you breathed out, just inches away from her. “Wanda!” You went in for an embrace at the same time, both of you somehow knowing which way to lean your head to avoid collision, and just where to put your arms. You fought shaking when you held her, your nerves completely shot at it finally happening. You were actually with Wanda, in an airport, hugging her like there was all the time to spend in the world. “Oh my god,” you repeated, and you felt her squeeze you a little closer to her. You could have cried in that moment.

“You,” she pulled back from you to take your face in her hands, her blue eyes scanning over your face like she was studying priceless art. In the back of your mind, you wondered if it was the way she looked when she watched the animals underwater. She shook her head slowly, eyes welling up with the thinnest layer of tears as her lips turned up into a smile. “You are beautiful.”

Your heart skipped a beat as you looked downwards, feeling yourself get hot at the bold and sincere compliment. You knew that anything more than about three words was going to smoke you stutter “Wanda, have you seen yourself?” She laughed, a soft sound that you had imagined hearing so many times that you almost thought you had made it up, until you saw the upturn of her mouth and the mirth in her eyes.

“I’m- I can’t believe I’m actually here,” Wanda breathed out, and you felt the same exact way. How had you pulled it off? After nearly a decade of pining that was mutual and writing to each other about every little detail in your lives, she was finally right in front of you, where you could see her and touch her.

“How’d you know it was me?” You asked after a second of grappling for something to say. “I didn’t have my sign up when you came.”

The smile that was on her face went from being flat out joyful to content, almost peaceful. It rubbed off on you immediately as you leaned back into her touch, ignoring all of the people bustling around in the busy airport. “I just knew that it was you.”

§§§

For the entirety of the day Wanda arrived, all the two of you did was stare at each other and hold onto each other, like you were both equally terrified that the gods were going to come down from wherever they resided to split you up again. There was hardly even any talking when you arrived at the condo, and it felt natural. The two of you had already spoken so much, and now you needed to catch up on just seeing her. You’ve seen her soul, her mind, her heart, and now you were seeing her face. It felt like you had always known it.

But you were the first one to speak as you held hands on the deck, her thumb drawing subconscious hearts on the back of your palm. “You have a way with words, sunshine.” The name contrasted to the sky, which was dark but illuminated with an almost full moon and stars. The city was mostly behind you, so the natural light was what you got. It was all that you needed.

You felt her content fade into joy. “Really?”

You knew that she was nervous about her English, but to you, it was perfect. From her accent to the way that she sometimes missed connotations that were specific to the language to the idioms that accidentally slipped into your letters, you loved it. “Mhm,” you hummed, leaning your head on her shoulder. “And I never would have imagined that you sounded so… sweet.”

“Sweet?” She parroted, and you smiled even though she couldn’t see it. Somehow, you knew that she could feel it, in some strange way. “Can I ask you something?” The answer was yes. It was yes, and it always would be yes. So, you said that. She cleared her throat, a quiet sound that you stored in your memory to keep, simply because she made it. “Did you… did you mean what you wrote?”

You were stumped. There had to be hundreds of letters between the two of you, and thousands upon thousands of topics. But you couldn’t question yourself for long, because then you knew exactly what she was talking about.

Did you truly love Wanda? The question came up a few times between you and your mother when you were in your first year of culinary school. Were you in love with Wanda Maximoff, or were you in love with the idea of Wanda and the mystery she brought? The question had been brought up, many times by your mother, who was only just making sure that you were being smart, and the answer never once varied. Yes. You loved Wanda Maximoff with every breath you took, every stroke of your pen, every glance at her pretty script. You knew that Wanda was it for you, and seeing her only solidified it. The way your hand fit together like they were the missing parts of a lost artifact made it concrete. The way she gave you everything back and the way you did the same told you everything you needed to know.

You leaned off of her shoulder and turned to face her, a soft smile on your face as the moon came out from behind the singular patch of clouds in the night, illuminating her features. You saw her face and her spirit through brand new eyes, and it was wonderful. It was all you could ever ask for. “Wanda,” you started, your voice quiet enough to not disturb the moment, and the sound of waves crashing not too far away. “I’ve loved you since I knew what love was, and I have been in love with you for as long as I knew what the difference between the two really was. Everything that I have ever sent to you, every word, I meant it all. And I’ll mean it for the rest of my life.”

She was staring at you blankly, with only a bit of something lingering in her gaze. Then, as soft as a breeze, she was muttering something under her breath in her mother tongue and putting her hand on your face. “Can I kiss you?”

You ignored the way that your heart surged in your chest. The moon was still out and bright, shining down on the two of you like you had paid for it to be a spotlight. “You never have to ask,” you said, and then, as fluidly and gently as humanly possible, she tilted her head and leaned forward, and you met her halfway.

§§

You had never been scuba diving before, but Wanda was in her element. She helped you suit up after she told the instructor that she was certified, and then rolled her eyes playfully when he checked behind her work. You cracked a smile. The entire time he was instructing, she was nearly bursting at the seams to get into the water, and the second he said that the two of you were allowed to go, she was holding your hand and asking if you were ready.

You never thought that Wanda could look more beautiful than she already had, but in and near the water, she was something else. She was in a state of grace and peace all the same, and you wanted nothing more than for her to be so tranquil, for the rest of her life. All you wanted in return was to be privileged to see it.

The gods that made you fear a bad trip were actually on your side, because Wanda excitedly pointed out a group of migrating sea turtles, not even paying either of you any mind at all, carrying about through nature. You smiled at them and at her, unable to decide which one was going to be the apple of your eye at the moment. You chose her.

§§§

You got out of the shower, your skin still slightly damp and the air humid from the heat of the water. You smiled at Wanda when you caught her looking at you, giving you that same blank stare that she had the first night the two of you got there. You stopped in your tracks, giving her the encouraging look that you knew she needed. “You okay, Wands?”

“I love you.”

Your breath hitched. It was the first time she had spoken the words aloud, and you both knew it. The weight of the words and the confession felt so true, so genuine, that it went straight to your heart and made it swell with warmth. A small yet generous smile stretched onto your face as you felt everything fall into place. “I love you, Wands.”

“More than I’ve ever loved anything,” she continued, like she hadn’t even heard you, and you looked back at her with a doting expression. “And, I’ve been holding off because I don’t know how to say that,” she paused, and then she fell into deep thought.

You took a step closer, assuming that the small language barrier had come up. When it took her more than a few seconds and you saw the little scrunch of confusion between her brows appear, you spoke up. “There’s no rush,” you said gently.

“If other people were to look at us, they would say that we have only known each other for three days,” she said, and you nodded. “But, I feel that we’ve known each other for thousands of years. I feel that we were made to meet, and that we were always going to no matter what came up. Why else would we both be so focused on talking to each other? I have always seen you as someone special to me, always, but now that we have finally seen each other face to face, I think that my… heart is recognizing you as it’s other part.”

You had no words in your mind at that moment, because they were all in your heart. You couldn’t open your mouth to convey the pure shock and relief that you felt at her admitting something that you had been feeling the whole time. You swallowed and felt your eyes burn with tears, but before they could fall past your cheeks, Wanda stood up and wiped them from your face before pulling you close.

Nothing mattered. Not the fact that you were still wet and she was in her pajamas, not the fact that you were in a towel, not the fact that the pizza man was knocking at the door. It was you and her, like it always had been in your mind, and Wanda’s too.

You were it for her, and she was it for you. And while you hugged it out in that beautiful condo in Florida, you silently thanked your sixth grade English teacher for making you write to a random girl your age all the way across the Atlantic, and you thanked Wanda for being the one who wrote her way right into your life.

so. uh! hiiii! i hope y’all liked it! i loved writing it, even though she was a lil bit of a challenge, not gonna lie. feedback is always appreciated!!

#wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #marvel fanfic #wanda fluff #scarlet witch #marvel au #wanda maximoff fluff #lgbtq #lesbian!wanda

824 notes · View notes

drivingsideways · 3 years

Note

Hey talk to me about your top three favourite kdrama women. What makes them special? What's a fic you would like to write about any one of them?

Mystery anon! :D What a lovely ask.

I’m going to cheat a bit and divide my answer into characters I loved a lot, but do not want to write fic about, because I think the canon gives me what I need; and characters that I loved a lot but NEED TO BE RESCUED ZOMG. (My fic writing impulses are 50% spite and 50% fix-it )

Caveat being that I’ve still watched only maybe a dozen kdramas, so I’m pretty limited in my knowledge!

Characters that I love a lot, but have very zero fic impulses toward:

Han Yeo-jin from Stranger/Secret Forest: What a delight! What an iconique character! Is there anyone like her? NO. LSY-nim gives us a delightfully complex character, and Bae Doona knocks it out of the park in every single scene, so I’m just happy to be along for the ride. I think what makes Yeo-jin special for me is the intrinsic place of empathy that she operates from. I think “righteous” is a word that often comes with negative connotations (self-righteous, for eg), but I do think she’s one of the most righteous-in-the-good-way characters I’ve watched in kdrama or any drama. I’m tired of stories that portray goodness as “boring” , as unworthy of narrative breadth or depth, and I love that Han Yeo-jin comes to us like a breath of fresh air in our particular dystopian narratives hellscape. She’s good, but never naive. She’s righteous but never cruel in her moral certainties. I think that LSY nim, in the second season especially, gave Yeo-jin the kind of arc that character deserved when she’s forced to really dig deep into herself to figure out how she’s going to live in the world in the face of a deeply cutting, deeply personal disillusionment, and I’m really hoping for an S3 to see how that plays out further.

Goo Hae-ryung from Rookie Historian: Ok, I will admit this may be rose tinted glasses view due to this show being my gateway drug into kdrama, but c’mon! She’s a reader! and a Thinker! And loves her wine! She’s plucky! She’s cute! She’s got a wry sense of humour! She’s got principles! She’s got a solid common sense to her that somehow doesn’t get in the way of her dreaming BIG! Oh dear, doesn’t she sound like the Mary-est of Mary Sues? Good for her.gif, I say! Anyways, Shin Se-kyung is unutterably charming in this (AS IN EVERY SHOW OMG GIRL) and I just have a huge fondness for free-spirited heroines who get to tramp through the narrative changing the world as they do!

Lee Ji-an from My Ahjussi: I’ve never had my heart broken more OR restored by any single character. IU is *phenomenal * in this, I think she really stepped up to what the script demanded from her. Ji-an’s weariness, her fear and vulnerability, her prickliness, her anger and her bitterness, and how, despite everything, she fights : GOD. Just. Again, what I love about the writing in this show is that it’s deeply empathetic without being cloyingly sentimental. I think a less, hmm, imaginative writer/PD might have focused on the Lee Ji-an the victim, and while the show definitely tells you in no uncertain terms that she is one, of both circumstances and a cruel society, I think it refuses to take away her agency over her own life.(Lee Ji-an when we meet her is too busy hanging onto life by tooth and claw to indulge in self-pity, but we also see the toll it takes on her not to be able to say “this is too heavy a burden for me to carry myself and it isn’t my fault”; the show I think approaches Dong-hoon from the opposite side- his emotional isolation is partly a result of his own choices, but he doesn’t see it yet, and so his journey is also about letting people in and sharing the burden, but also recovering his own agency over his life. It’s an interestingly gender-bent arc, which is one of the things I love about this show. )

Ok, can I please add one more?

Hwang Han-joo from Melo is my Nature: She just felt SO real to me. She’s someone who doesn’t have the spectacular brilliance of either Jin-joo or Eun-jung, and struggles with accepting her limitations but not allowing herself to be defeated by them? I love her struggles as a mother, as a working woman in a sexist industry, a woman who’s perhaps having to rethink and reimagine what she wants from romance. I love that she’s a little silly, a lot kind, and an optimist, and just. I just think she’s the bravest of the three, tbh, and I LOVE HER AND I WOULD WATCH A SPIN OFF ABOUT JUST HER (i shouldn’t have faves among the three i know, BUT I DO, IT’S HER, IT’S HER.)

Ok! On to the next section! And I’m going to cheat again because I can’t stop at three. SORRY. NOT SORRY.

Characters I love and SHOULD write fic for if I weren’t such a tired and lazy bunny:

Song Sa-hui from Rookie Historian: Oh, girl, girl, GIRL. I love how she fights to snatch her freedom from the jaws of the patriarchy. I love that she unapologetically centers herself while doing that, because she knows that nobody else will. I love that she’s prickly and calculating. I love that she’s smart and knowledgeable. I am SO HAPPY that she got to carve out a little bit of freedom for herself, even if it also is exile to some degree. She *should * be Emperor Jin’s Prime Minister and steering the ship of state, while also carrying on a tumultous affair with Queen Min Woo-hee, while ALSO commiserating with Emperor Jin about his boyfriend Historian Min Woo-won’s regrettable tendency towards Principles (TM) and masochism-but-not-in-the-fun-way. (This takes up much of his time which is why Song Sa-hui is running the country, of course. It works out well for all concerned, well, except her dad, of course.)

Song Ga-gyeong from Search:WWW: What’s NOT to love about our brilliant, beautiful, emotionally tortured gay icon? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I loved how the show allowed her to be flawed and make bad decisions, and then allowed her to make better decisions and regain control of her life. What I do need to do, of course, is see the CANON LOVE STORY between her and Cha Hyeon through to the end. It must, of course, include at least one baseball game, a lot of tequila and messy beach kisses.

Oh Ji-hwa from Beyond Evil: Oh boy, this year’s runaway hit cleared the extremely low bar for standard crime/ thriller shows by leaving more than one of its female characters breathing and with all limbs intact, and got called feminist for it BUT it didn’t do justice to any of them in any meaningful way and that never hurt more than in the way they sidelined Kim Shin-rok’s talent by not giving Oh Ji-hwa anything much to do. She’s a tough as nails cop, a loving sister, a devoted but unsentimental friend-and by rights SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE HEROINE OF THIS SHOW. My secret fic fantasy is to rewrite the show entirely by making her , and the two other female characters in non-antagonist roles- Yoo Jae-yi and Im Sun-nyeo- as the central characters, as they investigate a serial killer who targets women. It’s the only acceptable version of this done-to-death (ha!) genre, I have no idea what the Baeksang jury and tumblr fandom is smoking when they hype the show so much, I want none of it.

Jung Sun-ah from The Devil Judge: I love her rage, her spite, her passionate defense of women, her style, her sexiness, her rage, her rage, her brilliance, her tenaciousness, her smartness, her clothes, her refusal to hate herself for everything she is and chooses to be, her ambition, her comfort wielding power, her EVERYTHING. Dead, her? NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT. Here’s what *really * happened at the end of canon- she gets out of the building by planting that lady-like but still deadly gun against Kang Yo-han’s temple and making him lead her through his own “secret escape route” or whatever the fuck it was the show wanted us to believe. From there on out, it’s all sunshine and beaches, and scheming and waiting for the right moment to strike again-though of course, this time around, she also has to reckon with vigilant, tenacious cop Soo-hyun -another character who REALLY didn’t die for manpain reasons and had the good sense to leave her gay best friend to follow his psychopath boyfriend to Switzerland or wherever it is that star crossed lovers in kdrama land meet up on the regs these days- anyways, Soo-hyun and her are in this catch-me-if-you-can epic transnational honest and cute cop-and-beautiful sexy villain chase and yes, they WILL kiss (and more) AND IT WILL BE GLORIOUS.

*whew *

Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk.

#kdrama #thank you for this ask OMG #[fiona apple voice] ladies ladies ladies ladies

22 notes · View notes

ryuichirou · 3 years

Note

Can you make your top 10 aot characters that have a good development? Like Eren and Reiner are considered to be the best characters as 'characters' themselves

Anon… dear Anon, you’ve been waiting for like a month I think, I’m so sorry. I took this ask waaay too seriously lol, but yeah, I can’t postpone it for any longer…

I know you asked for top 10, and this is a numbered list, but I wouldn’t call it a proper ranking, so the place doesn’t really matter all that much. Otherwise this list would’ve taken even longer, I’m very serious about lists, it seems lol

Before I start I want to mention (just in case): I feel like “character development” isn’t always about becoming better at something. Sometimes you can become “worse”; sometimes you can get “better” and then fall back to your old ways. It’s just how the character changes, and the trajectory of that change can be very different for different characters.

1. Eren. I can talk about Eren for hours and hours, and I have talked about him a lot, so I’ll try to be quick this time.

Eren’s journey is very interesting and enjoyable to read. He’s such an unusual main character. So aggressive at first, unlikable to some (not to us lol we adored him since day one), loud and stubborn. But it’s super cool to watch this hurricane of a person, especially as he gets calmer, starts controlling his emotions little by little, learns more stuff and understands the situation around him better.

I think I’ll talk about how perspective and knowing a bigger picture change the way character acts a lot in this post, but Eren is an ultimate example of this. He got every single thing: past, present, future, drilled in his head at one fucking moment. He didn’t get a bigger picture, he got the biggest 5d picture with special effects. And he had no one to share that with: he had to deal with it himself, knowing that he himself is the reason for everything that’s happening. It makes my head hurt to even think about that lol It’s cool and unnerving to watch Eren, who’s used to be such a fireball of a character, to just get… quiet and apathetic. We don’t know what he’s thinking about, we don’t know what’s going on anymore, even though his emotions were always the most obvious thing about him. It’s almost scary.

And the interesting thing about it is that nothing really changed about his feelings, at least I think so. Ultimately, the only thing he wanted is for his friends to be happy and live long lives, and who knows, maybe he saw that the “freedom” he was initially seeking for himself doesn’t really exist. This is up to debate and definitely not for this post though lol

2. Reiner. Ohh Reiner. He was one of the characters who wasn’t all that interesting to me personally at first, but as he got more and more complex and emotional, I fell in love with him more and more. This isn’t a numbered list, but he is definitely one of the best written characters. And what’s cool about him is that we see the reason for him being the way he is throughout the story: why he wanted to become a hero, why his mental state got so bad, why he was conflicted, why he got so depressed and why he was able to take responsibility for his actions. I love it when the story breaks its characters, and Reiner is certainly one of the most broken ones. His lower point (when he almost killed himself + cried and asked Eren to kill him) was very beautiful and painful to read, because we know why he feels that way and we know how smug and brave he was at the very beginning of the show/manga. And we know that it was all a lie, which makes everything even tastier.

And as much as I love broken characters, I’m kind of glad Reiner found strength to continue fighting and to take responsibility for his actions (to some degree, at least). Not only he saw a bigger picture, he actually learned how to live with it. I’m so happy they discussed the Marco incident with Jean, and that after Annie told that it was her who took his gear, Reiner stood up and said that Annie was following his orders. He also apologized to Annie for everything he did to her and Bert.

Basically, Reiner went from wanting to be a hero to acting like a hero, then to being an actual hero to Marley and feeling like shit anyways, then to just being a human being, something like that. And that scene with his mom hugging him and being happy for him being alive is actually a very sweet and satisfying moment. Especially considering how much Reiner wanted to die lol

3. Zeke. I’ve talked about it in one of the replies about ch137, but I love how Zeke went from “I shouldn’t have been born” to “maybe small moments of happiness make everything worth it” at the very end of his life (what a cruel irony to realise that just before you die). Not only the character develops and changes, our view of him changes as well: I think Zeke was universally hated when he first appeared, but then he became more fun (dude’s too charismatic), and then he became sympathetic and vulnerable. All of this was always inside Zeke, but it was hidden since Zeke is a lying snake. See, Zeke is smart, but he’s super sure that his views are the only valid ones and that his idea of freeing Eldians is the only solution. His views are surprisingly black and white: I suffered, Eren suffered and our dad is bad. And no one challenged his beliefs until they walk through Grisha’s memories with Eren in ch120-121, and then he realized that Eren didn’t suffer at all and their dad is actually just a person who really regretted being a horrible father to his first son. I love that he got some closure with Grisha because he held that grudge for his entire life.

4. Grisha. He has a rollercoaster ride of a development lol: at first he was an innocent boy, then he became an angry boy, and then he kind of calmed his anger down for some time? But after learning what actually happened to Faye, his emotional wounds got open and all that rage blinded him again. And then, after being outed by Zeke, he lost everything, but had a harsh realization that by being driven by his anger only, he completely forgot not to be a shitty dad. He basically had a second chance in life, with a much better perspective about what’s going on, but now he has his younger son’s ghost haunting him and telling him to do thing he never thought he’d do. At different points of the story Grisha feels both like a mastermind behind things and like a pawn who doesn’t have a choice even if he just wants to live a peaceful and happy life with his wife and kids. The irony of him killing a bunch innocent kids when this whole story started because he got his little sister killed? Delicious. Oh, and I really love the fact that he realised that he screwed up as dad and apologized to Zeke. He loved his kids a lot: Zeke, Eren and Mikasa too (he called her his daughter after all).

5. Erwin. Way more interesting than people give him credit for. He’s mostly adored for being a badass, but he also has his own flaws that he had to deal with. He’s like a moth that’s drawn to the light, but right after burning himself and dying he kind of did “the right thing” that he had to do as a commander. Now, for me it isn’t really about Erwin ending up doing “the right thing” to be honest: we would probably adored him is he ditched everyone and ran to the basement because his selfish desires ended up being more important to him. But that scene where he confessed to Levi that he really wanted to find that basement and just told him everything about his capricious and selfish childish desires, talked about how he lied to everyone including Levi basically just to prove his dad’s point… it was beautiful, because it was basically “I have to do it, haven’t I? But I really don’t want to”. His character development is interesting in a sense that at first he was getting gradually more and more psychotic about his dream, doing crazy things even when he knows it might not be the best choice possible (like him risking his life instead of staying behind), but at the very end he stopped to think and… well we know the rest lol

6. Armin. I remember people saying that Armin is just a narrator-like character who is here to explain thing (I probably thought so too at first), but this is so unfair. It’s easy to make someone like Armin into this trope, and to leave him being a very one-dimensional dreamer who’s smart but naive. And Armin is so much more than that. Throughout the story he has a lot of “I should have been the one who died” moments, and I love that this is such a prominent issue for him, but he still got over it somehow. Armin was kind of lost at the beginning, but found his role. And wow, he had to go through it again after he was chosen instead of Erwin, because the burden on his shoulders just got 100 kg heavier lol He also got less naïve and more cunning with time and got much better at emotional manipulation, I think. While preferring a dialogue over violence, Armin still isn’t pure, and he acknowledges that constantly, especially after his first kill, and things got even worse since that point, which definitely changed him. But his violence-loathing (kind of…) core is still there.

Armin ended up playing a much bigger role in the story than I thought he would be, I really love it. He has his moments of weakness, but he still pushes forward and takes responsibility and does his best. Oh and let’s pretend that the Annie thing never happened, it doesn’t contribute anything to his character anyway.

7. Jean. I think Jean is the first character who starts showing character growth, and I believe his development is the reason he was Isayama’s favourite for some time. Tbh, I don’t find Jean annoying even at the very beginning: yeah he’s selfish, but he’s self-aware about it, he’s a realist. And he’s still a realist, but his conscience wouldn’t let him just have an easy life while everyone else’s suffering. I always feel like Jean is a spoiled mamaboy, so it’s great to see him showing that he can put others before himself. He also had an inner conflict similar to Armin’s: is it right to kill innocent people if you have to? Is it ok to kill not-so-innocent people because they’re against you? I really like this theme in SnK just in general.

8. Gabi. It’s no secret that I adore Gabi lol, and I think her character development is great. She was in her element when we first met her: she was confident, she was doing her best and succeeding, she knew the world around her so well, and then Eren took everything from her. People like to hate Gabi for killing Sasha and for being aggressive on Paradis, but I think it’s great that she didn’t have an overnight change of heart. It’s great that Isayama showed us her shock and her raw emotions, it’s more than natural for a child with her upbringing, even if it’s messed up. But I love it when stories take characters that are great at what they do, and they take them out of their element, to show them at their worst: lost, angry, broken and confused. I love that she understood everything herself and not because Falco told her “hey they’re people too” that one time. She had to go through this hell to figure everything out, and I think it’s great.

9. Historia. Historia was one of the least interesting characters for me (and for a lot of people, Yams included) at the beginning, and tbh I think it’s brilliant: we never saw anything in her; she was just a waifu material who’s nice to others. It felt fake and boring, well, because it was indeed fake and boring, and to this day I cannot believe that that was the entire point. I love how Ymir made Historia realise that she needs to think for herself, but what’s interesting about all that is that after Ymir left, she almost came back to her old habits. Which is also a development, and a very interesting one. The end of S2 was a high point for her (when she told Ymir that she isn’t scared of anything when they’re together), and then there was a very low point (when Ymir left), and then a high point again (when she remembered Ymir and Frieda and decided to act upon her own desires). She’s one of my faves now because of all that… It’s sad she didn’t have a bigger role post-timeskip, but I still appreciate her story for what it is.

10. Oh god this is so hard to pick one and this post is already so long… can I just give you a bunch of quick honorable mentions?

Annie (who was a loner that couldn’t really trust anyone but ended up showing her vulnerable and emotional side), Hange (started out enthusiastic and eager to learn more only to meet more pain and disappointment, crumbling under the pressure, but ultimately remembering her amusement with titans), Levi (granted it’s very subtle, but him going through Kenny’s death, Erwin’s death and his promise to him, realization that he’s been killing people all this time and other stuff fascinating and huge leaving a mark on him), Ymir (who got hurt and decided not to trust anyone anymore and to act selfishly, but ended up sacrificing herself anyway lol)…. God, these short description sucks, they can’t describe them properly. Also there are so much of them that I think have good development, and I’m 100% missing someone… but I think I’m done for now. Katsu I’m sorry for making you read all this.

That you for this ask, Anon <3 and sorry again for being so late

#replies #snk meta

34 notes · View notes

bigskydreaming · 3 years

Note

Hot take that all of the bats are theatre kids but on varying ends of the spectrum. Like Dick? 110% the legitimate performer. Jason? Just here cause he's weirdly obsessed with Shakespeare. Tim is the kid manning the stage effects. I haven't broken down the rest of them yet but I know in my bones that it works. Stephanie's probably a diva or always plays the fool

Yessssssss. Theater is absolutely the one thing that could unite them. Chaotically. Also potentially disastrously. Eh, semantics.

But Dick is of course a ham and I do believe he genuinely enjoys ‘taking a break from himself’ to immerse himself behind a cover identity.....but more than that, I honestly believe he’d love directing and putting his skills with coaxing potential out of people individually or in groups to use for something purely hobby-ish.

Jason I also see as someone who potentially could love acting for a similar reason I see as behind his love of reading....its the vacation from the self or his own life, the trip in someone else’s shoes or story. Through books, and also acting, the ‘you can be anything you set your mind to’ thing has actual practicality.

Tim I could see enjoying being the tech guy, but also I could see him liking the directing side of things too, or actually lots of different parts of the process, from script to stage.....like, I dislike when fandom focuses overly much on Tim as the tech guy because it tends to go hand in hand with acting like everyone else but Babs is clueless at such stuff, and also death to the instinctive correlation between smarts and tech like that’s the only possible place to showcase genius or the obvious go-to for how to show a smart person is smart, death to that I say, death and murder and also annihilation. But more than that its that IMO its not tech that Tim likes/focuses on in particular, its workshopping stuff. Taking something from idea to fruition, and being responsible for shepherding its progress every step of the way.

Cass of course loves dancing and everything to do with it, but another headcanon I’ve always had is that Cass potentially could love choreographing dance. If dance appeals to Cass because its spoken in her first language, that of movement and the body, think about the potential that lies in not just the fact that dance innately is meant to put everyone else for once on the same page as her, watching the dancer for the story they’re telling with their movements.....but through choreographing others, Cass has the opportunity to tell stories of her own for other people to ‘hear’....again, in that same language so to speak. To communicate through others’ movements the way others’ movements normally just speak to her.

Damian I could see a case being made for him gravitating to literally any aspect of theater first out of his innate competitiveness....if his siblings have a skill, he wants to prove its perfectly within his own capabilities as well....but then discovering that oh no, he actually likes a lot of this, what trickery is this, he has been bamboozled, clearly Grayson is behind this, this....insidious attempt to....make him do things just because he “enjoys” them. What utter rot. And other such thoughts and inner rantings that all just further provide proof that this boy was BORN to monologue, and oh look, a stage for such monologues. Also, stage combat? Okay, having to pull his actual punches irks, but the applause for knocking a class rival to the ground instead of censure because he was directed to, look its literally in the script......that’s a plus. Because Damian’s unique form of middle-school Machiavellianism is such that he absolutely would audition for a role for no other reason than the role calls for doing something terrible to the character of someone he immensely dislikes (or just finds tedious, hey its a spectrum), and getting to spend a couple hours every week doing so is catharctic in a way the family isn’t entirely sure they want to encourage but hey, can’t argue with results.

Duke I also could see taking a lot of different routes, but I think he’s another one who would do really well in the director’s chair, coaxing potential classmates didn’t even know they had out of a performance. In the sense that yeah, I think he’s one of the closest to Dick personality wise so a lot of the reasons I see that being ideal for Dick are why I see it working for him as well, but also just like....the way it naturally calls back to the fact that part of his meta powers is he literally boosts the powers of other metas. He has a knack for bringing stuff out of people.

Stephanie is the understudy that’s just there to goof off and have fun, its a nice, relaxing A and that’s the only reason she’s in theater class or using drama club as an extracurricular that can afford her skipping a rehearsal or two or three.....but for all her big talk of “Pffft, nerds, I just came for the stage combat class and stayed because I forgot what else I was going to do’.....she just happens to know all the lines and mouths them along with the actors on stage and gets personally offended when they mess up because they’re doing it BADLY and ugh are they trying to suck this hard or are they just naturally gifted at that part, here, lemme show you how its done, and that’s how she accidentally rom-com scenarios her way into being the star of the show two hours before curtain call or else the plucky impromptu interim director when the real one quits in a fit of high school theater histrionics, or y’know, is made to quit when Stephanie incites a mutiny among the cast because that’s kinda plausible to tbh. Look, there are options here is all I’m saying.

And then Babs as well I see as being not so much in a particular single role at the exception of all others, but whatever puts her most in the driver’s seat of taking something from idea to opening night, like starting with a script maybe, hell even just the line producer or script supervisor, and then accidentallying her way into more and more creative responsibilities and control because the parts just start to come together more easily/readily when she’s rearranging the pieces into orders and in ways that make more sense to others and they find themselves gravitating to, because maybe this was just a local community thing people were doing for fun or to blow off steam but without even noticing a change it starts to take more and more shape as an actual thing as she finds her groove and sees how to improve on this scene here or tighten up things here or what happens when these two actors swap roles and then almost belatedly people are like oh wait, this doesn’t just HAVE to be fun hobby shenanigans this could also be something actually good too, weird thought, hey did anyone else know things could be both fun AND good? Is this a thing or are we in uncharted waters here.

94 notes · View notes

dumbass-mha-simp · 4 years

Text

Hawks x Reader

This is very self indulgent tbh. Mostly gender neutral but does mention make up. Also the reader has mega family trauma cuz same.

Warnings: mentions of food, alcohol, reader is drunk but keigo is vv respectful & doesn't try anything, reader doesn't talk to their family, past family abuse, reader is kinda mean to him at first

I wrote this at like 4am and my phone is wonky and keeps autocorrecting "you" to "he" for no reason but i did like one quick pass through before posting so hopefully it's good enough, this is probably one of the first times I've actually published my fanfiction so hopefully it ain't shit,

----------------------------------

For the last couple months you've been teasing him. Practically any other girl in your position would swoon in your position. But where's the fun in letting him get what he wants so quick?

Pro Hero Hawks, had seemingly everyone wrapped around his finger. With eyes pierced in deep gold and, blazing, ruby red wings, it's hard for anyone to not be attracted to him.

You stood in the back corner of a "special hero party," trying to discern if you should sneak out and do anything more interesting than standing with a bunch of other heros.

"Hello there, beautiful." A thick and sweet voice called as you turned your head to them. "Looking lonely all alone back here, let me join?" Hawks, the number two hero was offering to stand with you. Staying it is I suppose.

"I admire your work, you're really dedicated kid. I like watching your stuff." He says taking a slow sip of his drink.

"You? You watch me?" The disbelief of it rung through in sarcasm. How were you to expect someone like him watched your work. You continued sipping from your drink, even if it was a boring party there was free fancy alcohol and that's all a hero could ever need.

"I wanna see more of you, and not just on the screen or anything. I want to get to know you, you know, maybe take you out a bit, hottie." He uses his middle finger to gently lift your chin up.

"And why do you think I'd immediately just accept some date from a guy I've never even talked to?" You dryly laugh out taking another sip.

"C'mon pretty thing, you know me. Your friendly neighborhood Hawks. The hottest, and most loved person you'll ever meet."

"Ah that's what you are, the hot, amazing, charming, hero to any and all." You scoffed

"The one and only."

You spent the rest of the night either playing hard to get, or annoyed at him. You couldn't exactly tell.

This carried on for months, every event you attended, he was right there on your heels like an abandoned, clingy puppy. He's even started patrolling with you.

"Say when are you gonna quit and just accept a date dollie?" He charmed up behind you.

"I'm at work, Hawks." Your boots cracked on the wet pavement as the last bits of rain desperately clung to the air.

"Why do you play so hard to get?" He questioned in a more serious tone. He was genuinely curious about you. "Most people would kill to have me begging for them, let alone after giving me to cold shoulder so many times." You could hear the upturn in his lips as he spoke.

"Why do you happen to find me the one person worth going for?" You retorted back.

"You interest me. There's very few people I'm genuinely curious about, but one of them's you, kid." He looked up into your eyes from the street. Something you'd never thought you'd see in Hawks' eyes was sincerity over such a topic. He genuinely wanted to know you.

".........Let's just say letting people in isn't my forte." You say quickly but with a slight hint of pain. You begin to walk off again and he doesn't question. He doesn't push you to tell him why. But you could see the way he processes your words on his face.

A bar, on a Thursday night, alone. How pathetic of you. Luckily you had no work tomorrow, a big mission the week before let them cut a couple weekends longer. As you downed your refill you questioned how many you've had.

"How long have I been here?" You whispered slightly to yourself before bringing it to your lips.

The warm rush reflow through your body as you let yourself fall to it. The bartender looked at you from the corner of his eye.

"I'm cutting you off for the night." He looks earnestly at you.

"Now that's not very nice there." You laugh back at him.

You pull out your phone and attempt to call some friends but lucky enough for you, you chose a night they were all at work to recklessly get drunk in the middle of the city. The only other contact you could think of was Hawks.

There's no way he'll pick up. He's gotta be busy. I could find literally anyone else to do it. You mutter in your brain as you go into his contact and start a call.

It rings twice before his voice calls out to you. "Hey this is hawks. ... (Y/h/n), are you there?"

Okay act cool and sober. "Heeeeyyy bird." Shit.

You could practically feel his shit eating grin across the phone. "You in need of a hero babe?"

"Can you please pick me up?" A whine took over your voice. You hated being drunk in front of people like him. That soft affectionate side seems to burst its way out when the alcohol takes control.

"Tell me where you are birdie." He said as you heard some ruffling. "(Bar name idk)." You rough out tiredly.

"Be right there angel." He called before hanging up.

You put the phone down on the counter and groaned. Why him? You try so hard to make sure you don't fall for people. They always end up like the last. You feel like they stop caring once they really meet you. Like they don't want the cake after the first bite.

Used, alone, and forgotten. It's a stabbing feeling that your used to. A feeling of burning heaviness in your stomach.

You sit slumped down onto the bar contemplating your feelings for the winged hero for awhile. Why can't emotions just be controlled?

"Hey-o!" You heard a voice from behind you break through the thoughts corrupting your mind. Hawks smiled and thanked the bartender before reaching his arms around you and helping you off the stool.

I didn't know he could be so gentle..

He walked you out the door and held your arms softly, but supportedly as he looked you in the face. "I'm gonna fly us okay? Don't wriggle to much." With that he picks you up and starts beating his wings.

"Hawks?" You call slurred and quiet.

"Yeah, kid?" He glances down at you with a light smile.

"What's your real name?"

"Well why would I tell you that when you refuse to tell me yours so often?" He chuckled.

"(Y/n) (y/l/n)"

"W..what?"

"My name. It's (Y/n) (y/l/n)." You replied back.

You could see the confusion of your open demeanor. But there was something else in his eyes. Something you couldn't put your finger on.

"Soooooooo....." you trailed off with a smile.

"Keigo Takami." He chortled at your ridiculous smile.

"That's a lot prettier than I thought it would be." You stared into his face. How could anyone not find him attractive. The perfect mix of facial hair, jawline, that dumb grin that was insanely attractive, those eyes that were the perfect gold.

"You're gorgeous, Keigo." You whisper more to yourself than him.

"And you apparently drank a lot more than I suspected." He tried to brush off but you could feel a bit more heat from his face.

"Here it is." He lands gingerly and places you down on the ground, wrapping his arm under your shoulder and holding onto the small of your back. "Let's get you in bed."

"Have you eaten today?" He calls after setting you on the couch and going to the kitchen to get you some water. You shake your head and he looks a little concerned but doesn't push it. He hasn't either so late take out it is.

"What do you want?" He looks to you above the old paper menu he has saved from a place not to far from here. "Cuddles." You pout looking through your phone.

"I meant for dinner (y/n)." He laughs at you. "Oooh that makes sense." You laugh too, "anything with noodles and shrimp, I reaaaaally like shrimp." You smile at him wholesomely as he looks at you with the same missing thing as earlier in his eyes.

He orders for the both of you then takes you to the bathroom and sits you on the counter with your bag. "Makeup remover?" He asked placing your bag on your lap. You pull out some individual wipes as he gentle pulls them from your fingers and moves the bag to the side.

He softly wipes at your face as you close your eyes and focus on the feeling of his hands. After wiping the makeup off he wipes down your face with water to make sure there's no remover left either.

"Beautiful. Now do you want to go watch something while we wait for the food?"

His eyes gleamed at you and it filled you with that feeling of admiration. He was being so considerate and kind. Nothing like you imagined. You were safe. Safe here with him by your side.

You placed a kiss to his cheek.

"(Y/nn)," he closed his eyes softly taking in the tingle of where your lips pressed. "You're drunk off your ass, baby. Lets get you fed and in bed, dear." You nod tiredly as he pulls you down from the counter.

You sit back down on his couch as he answers the door and takes the food. "Someone order shrimp?"

"Oooo!" You clap your hands rapidly and look to him excitedly. He giggles at you and hands you the food.

You sit and eat together. Talking about whatever comes to mind first and building on from wherever it wandered.

"So, what's your family like?" He asked innocently enough. "Eh." You brushed off. A subject you never liked was family.

"I get that." He tried to laugh but it seemed forced. "I was born with two parents and couldn't get a single one to even care about me." You laughed to him.

"Do you talk to them?" He looks like he wants your answer. Like he cares about what you say.

"I try not to. I cut them off when I was a teen, everyone blamed it on me being a dumb rebellious kid. No one ever tried to see what happened in those walls." You trailed off.

"Were you hurt?" He tilts his head as concern covers his features. "That's an understatement." You force a smile back at him and take a bite.

"I...I think I kinda understand what you feel in a way." You meet his eyes as they lazily traveled to the floor. His thoughts stiring from behind his pupils.

"No parent buddies?" You put out your hand for a fist bump. He laughs and fist bumps you, "Yeah, no parent buddies."

You lean a bit closer to him. "I'm sorry you were hurt. They didn't deserve the control they had over you." You went a bit more serious as you draw your eyes up to him.

"Im sorry for you too." He breathed out to you. "Now let's get you in bed." A smile took over as he moved your empty food package onto the table and picked you up.

"PUT ME DOWN KEIGO!" You laugh and softly hit your hands against him. He laughs with you then throws you onto the bed.

"Why am I on the bed?" You frown. "Why wouldn't you be?" He looks as he places your water on the night stand next to you.

"It's your bed."

"And I get to choose who sleeps in it."

He places a feather-light kiss on your temples then goes to the door.

"Keigo-" he turns, "cuddle me?"

"I'll clean up and be back here soon okay?" He smiles at you. "Okay"

After twenty minutes of struggling to keep yourself up you feel a weight press into the mattress, keeping some distance.

You roll up next to him and wrap yourself around him.

"Sweet dreams Keigo."

"Goodnight, (y/n)."

And there he was when you woke up. Right beside you. After awhile you got used to seeing his face when you woke up. Always being able to see the look in his eyes you tried so hard to put your finger on. The lovestruck stupid he was for you.

104 notes · View notes

foxgloveinspace · 4 years

Text

Andrew Minyard is ADHD:

I said I would only really write this if people were interested, but I lied, lol. WAIT One person liked the og post while I was typing this, so there's interest and it’s justified! Lol.

Ok, I’ve seen other posts talking about this, but some of them used some things that I didn’t agree with, so I’m gonna do my own.

I wanna set the preface of, if you see Andrew as ADHD, awesome! If you don’t, that's great too! In reality, this is all speculation, and self projecting, and my desire for actually good representation of ADHD characters that are not stereotypical, so if you see Andrew as something different, that is completely and totally a-okay.

-ADHD has three types, inattentive (formally known as ADD), hyperactive (previously just ADHD) and combined type. Some people prefer calling it Executive Function Disorder (EFD), because Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder describes how it affects people around ADHDers, more than it affects ADHDers. For the sake of this, I’m going to refer to it as ADHD, because it’s more commonly known, and it’s what I call it for myself. I also acknowledge that according to the timeline, Andrew would probably be diagnosed with ADD (if he ever got diagnosed, that is, which I don’t know if he would or not). Please keep all this information in mind.

Things that would be explained if Andrew was ADHD:

Instead of reason’s I think Andrew is adhd in canon, I mostly have thing’s I think could be explained if he was:

-Why he ‘hates’ exy:

This is a big reason in my mind, he is very insistent he doesn’t like exy and I can explain why he actually doesn’t with him being ADHD.

He started playing in juvie, as something to do, it’s a good way to completely clear his mind and concentrate on something that he is actually good at, which is instant gratification, it's something ADHDer’s experience a lot. It’s one of the main reasons ADHDer’s love video games (if your curious there are videos on youtube explaining this. I am ADHD and this is already overwhelming enough for me than trying to explain this as well).

Andrew only tries at exy when he is in the goal, otherwise he couldn’t give less of a fuck about it. He doesn’t care about stats of other teams, or watching other peoples games, it’s only interesting to him when he’s in the goal or when other people make bets/dares with him; “can you shut down the goal?” “pick a number” playing while coming down from his meds for a long period of time, things like that. Making it interesting, keeping himself engaged with it, is a big thing for him. Again, instant gratification. And also an explanation for why outside of the court, when people try to talk to him about the sport, he doesn’t care, he ‘hates’ it. Cause he does. He hates talking about, that doesn’t interest him. It’s boring and not what gives his brain satisfaction within the sport itself.

-Spending habits (TW: Not sure how to tag this tbh, but Andrew being prepared to die? I’ll put it in double parentheses, just incase):

((While I am of the firm belief that the number one reason that Andrew bought the first car is cause he completely wasn't expecting to live through the crash and then had no idea what to do with that amount of money when he wasn't expecting to live)), ADHD would also explain why he buys such expensive stuff. Again, it's instant gratification. It's like trying to tell yourself to wait for something you really want as an award. What's the point when you can have it now? He goes out and buys the most expensive cars he can cause it scratches that itch in his brain.

- Subcategory to spending, Daredevil:

It could also have to do with going fast. Most 'daredevils' are actually ADHDers. Going fast and doing daring things triggers chemicals in our brains, same as hyperfixations and instant gratification. In fact, that could also be a reason for sparing with Renee as well.

-Zoning out:

Ask any ADHDer about maladaptive daydreaming, and dissociating. Andrew has been known in canon to lose himself in thought a lot, and stare out in space for extended periods of time. This is very common with ADHD, and while it’s a small thing, it’s something I think about quite a bit, and so I included it.

-Loud Music:

Another way to drown out your own thoughts is to listen to music, and a lot of ADHDers like loud music. Andrew likes loud music while driving fast. This is very ADHD to me.

-His major:

I think this is something else that can be explained with ADHD, as a hyperfixation. Its not something he wants to do with his life, but it's something his brain lets him concentrate on, and therefore, something to do with his time in college, something he doesn't necessarily want to do, and is doing it out of necessity.

-His memory:

Something about adhd is that it is almost always paired with a different thing. Autism and dyslexia are the two most common. So his perfect memory would be something else neurodivergent that could be paired with his ADHD.

-Attachment issues/RSD:

Andrew keeps everyone at arm's length, and while this can be a part of his past, it can also be combined with RSD, or Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Which can mean any sort of negative attitude towards you can send you into a spiral. So Aaron not being understanding of their deal/promise and pushing him away would be devastating to him on a whole other level, one that feels right for how he acts in canon. But on the other hand he can't let go of Aaron because he is already attached to him.

Again with Nickey, he's someone that's been in his life for so long it would be devastating for him to just up and leave, especially to an eighteen year old. He would never tell him this, because of RSD, and if Nickey decided to leave despite that, it would have been very devastating to him and Nickey would have never been allowed back into his life, so that would be the number one reason for Andrew to get Nickey into college with him.

ADHDers are also very quick to get attached to people, something we see with Andrew is that once he has decided someone is 'his' he is unshakable in his loyalty.

I hate going into it, but that would be another reason for how he is with Cass, why he is so desperate to stay, despite what is happening in the back ground.

-Emotions:

I know Andrew has reasons for being emotionally distant, but when he feels emotions in canon, anger, he is quick to it, and feels it fully to the point he can't control it. It's very common in ADHD to have no control over how you react to your emotions unless you spend a lot of time doing it, like Andrew has.

-Long Weird Conversations:

The way he talks to Renee, and then Neil, where they jump around from subject to subject, with no discernable connection to the subjects. Like, that's stereotypical ADHD, but one that actually ADHDers relate to.

-Sensory things:

Things in canon that Andrew does/likes that scream sensory issues or stimming:

-Stimming:

Likes extreme foods (sweet and spicy things).

Has comfort objects (arm bands, while I know they were to hide his scars, I feel like the fact that they don't bug him even in extreme weather is a major factor in them being a weighted stim for him).

Smoking (I don't know how to describe how this is a stim for Andrew, but it is?).

-Sensory Issues (I know most of these have canon reasons, but I wanna say they could be heightened by ADHD, so keep that in mind):

Not eating around other people/eating in small bites. (Hating food textures is a common thing for ADHDer’s).

Being a light sleeper/taking forever to fall asleep. (Brain won't shut off/be quiet).

Wanting a routine but simultaneously hating it. (His love/hate relationship with exy. He never complains about getting up for practice, that Neil mentions, but is constantly hating how repetitive it is. Going to Eden's almost every Friday, where it's the same place but different every time without being too different.)

That's all that I can think of right now. I tried to not mention anything that happened while Andrew was on medication, so the whole 'keep my attention' doesn't really count in my opinion.

Thank you for reading, and maybe I might come back to this and add more someday, but for now it's finished.

In conclusion: Andrew being ADHD makes a lot of sense within canon.

#Andrew Minyard #tfc #aftg #adhd stuff #in this essay i will

65 notes · View notes

roguestarsailor · 3 years

Text

i need help understanding mor and the dynamic between cassian and azriel.

TLDR; i dont get why this dynamic is so important! for mor, its two issues here and they aren’t connected. mor can reject az and keep her true sexuality a secret so why is she so insistent on being shitty to az? azriel getting rejected isn’t going to break his entire heart forever; az is a big boy he will be ok. god i hate this dynamic so much.

ok so this girl doesn’t have the courage to tell azriel that she doesn’t like him that way (or ever).

but its been 500 years of pining; like ?? i think he knows his heart has been broken?? hes a spy master; his entire profession is him seeking secrets and i would even assume knowing how to read people and such. i feel like after 500 years, he can pretty much confirm shes not interested in him. and then using cassian whenever theyre together should also signify something? are we banking on azriel to be a Head Empty dumbo man who doesn’t have an ounce of self awareness and emotional intelligence here?? mor constantly flirts w cassian as a joke. mor needing cassian to be a buffer sounds like she just wants him as the third wheel but nothing else and thats really shitty thing to do. how can she think she can keep it up?? how can she also assume cassian won’t try to find love?? she doesn’t love az why stop him from finding love???

she straight up only likes females no? she’s already sleeping with other people. thats a known fact. azriel has also slept w other people. they dont sleep together but they do just hang out--like buddies?? they go to ritas, they hang out in the houses at valeris, they do night court jobs together-ish but thats it? that sounds like what friends do. so if she rejects azriel, the worst that seems to happen is that they won’t hang out like they used to.

i flipped through ACOWAR to make sure im not missing anything and this is part of what she says:

“I’m not sure I can give my entire heart to him in that way. And...and I love him enough to want him to find someone who can truly love him like he deserves. And I love myself....I love myself enough to not want to settle until I find that person, too” (ACOWAR, 592)

“I should tell him. I need to tell him. Mother above, after last night, I should. But...It’s gone on for so long. So long. I’m petrified to face him--to tell him he’s spent five hundred years of pining for someone and something that won’t ever exist. The potential fallout...I like things the way they are.” (ACOWAR, 593)

she says this shit!! two contradictory paragraphs!!! how are you gonna be like let az find love/i want to find love and then backtrack and be like wait i like this dynamic??? what??????? in between those two line she says this:

“It’s stupid, I know. It’s so stupid and cruel that I do this, but...I slept with Helion just to remind Azriel...Gods, I can’t even say it. It sounds even worse saying it.”

“To remind him that you’re not interested.” (ACOWAR, 593)

what is this?? literally what the fuck?? this line right here makes mor sound like such a dick. this is literally cruel; she knows hes got intense feelings for her but she does this still?? is this some kind of power trip she likes???

yes it can be heart breaking to lose a friend but at the same time stringing them along and being so elusive is worse is it not?? yes it will probably hurt az a lot especially if his feelings are super intense but i think they as characters are capable of going past this. it might not be like before, but they will still be supportive of one another.

but also consider this: what would be the consequence of rejecting azriel? will he go on a rampage? will he shut out the IC forever? will he abandon them? is there a darkness to him that makes mor afraid to speak her actual feelings? cuz i feel like at worst it would be a few awkward moments here and there but ultimately it would just be over with and they will be friends again. does she really believe that az would continue to be a hopeless puppy following her around in the hope of her loving him forever or does she think he’ll reject love forever if she rejects him? she hasn’t given him actual romantic love back so he might not be missing much. and even her words about fucken helion just to remind az she’s not interested is treating him shity enough (which also leads me to why does he love mor? did he know her before rhys brought her to the illyrian camp all those years ago when she and cassian did it?) i know she wants to keep liking females a secret, but rejecting az won’t make people automatically assume she isn’t straight.

i can’t help but think literally all of mor’s reasoning for not telling az and keeping the dynamic going is garbage. the stakes aren’t that high! shes being a bad friend and stifling both cassian and azriel! idk how az’s heart isn’t already breaking?? im really mad SJM is trying to play this up as a big thing and making this dynamic seem so important to these characters but for mor, its two issues here and they aren’t connected. mor can reject az and keep her true sexuality a secret. azriel getting rejected isn’t going to break his entire heart forever; az is a big boy he will be ok. god i hate this dynamic so much.

on another note thats vaguely related to the above post: i re-read the scene in ACOWAR where mor confesses her true sexuality to feyre and im thinking why can’t mor just be bi? i’m not super well versed about sexuality here so correct me if im wrong but making her sleep w other males just to throw off the idea that she likes females sounds.......wrong?? why does SJM frame taking males to bed as this tool mor needs to keep up the secret of her preferring females but at the same time saying mor still likes sleeping w males too. so does that not define bisexuality??? does mor being bi take away from the impact of her not liking azriel??? mor feels like a diversity token rather than genuine queer character imo.

also why does knowing she prefers females hurt her in anyway? does she think her father is gonna send out assassins to murder her lovers? whats the cost benefit analysis to that? mor already controls hewn city, has rhys + IC as backup. and going by the logic mor puts out, does it matter that she takes female lovers as long as she can can produce heirs/continue the bloodline (because thats what her shitty family prioritizes)?? i feel like she can do both tbh. i see that its the emotional component that mor values and i can understand trying to shield something precious to her since her family has hurt and ruined so much of her life. the only significance i can read from this is that SJM is trying to show representation of closeted folks in the form of mor which i guess is fine if you vibe with her in that way??

this is the part of the ACOTAR lore that throws me off: i feel like sexual fluidity would be the norm for faes. these folks live forever and they will only stick to being straight? hard to believe personally. mor mentions that in her family specifically she is considered a “prized mare” who is great for popping babies but a) fae babies are rare already so i dont think she can just pop babies unless thats part of her power b) they just need her to “breed” so taking other lovers shouldnt be a problem either so long as mor’s family have babies to “continue the bloodline” c) is faithfulness an unspoken law? is polygamy frowned upon? these are immortal creatures why would they keep to one lover? babies are rare so from purely biological/survival stand point wouldnt faes have to have multiple lovers in order to reproduce???

25 notes · View notes

irameii · 3 years

Text

HEATHER:||: ERIC

Warnings:|| one sided love

Summary: I wish I was her....

A laugh rings throughout the air. One so familiar, you cant help but smiling automatically at the sound. His presence, one that illuminates wherever he goes. Slowly turning around, there he is ,your best friend.

There it is , a smile, a gesture so simple yet it causes a million butterflies to flutter within you and causes your mind to go fuzzy. Its like he doesn't know his own charm or the control he has over you, but no one knows. No one knows the feelings you carry within.

(Idkh these pov thingys work yet sorryy)

Eric: y/n!!!!!!. Eric yells as he jogs closer, and grabs y/n's shoulder y/n: yes Eric?* deep breath* Eric: did you do the homework for math class? * Breathe* y/n: Yeah I did.I actually finished it before class ended yesterday. Eric: you're gonna let me see it right??? *heart beating gets louder* Take a step back Y/n : nope. You should've done it. *starts walking down the hall* Thinking he's wandered off you let out a deep sigh... Knowing if you let him beg enough youd cave in and you knew better. He would never learn this way.and soon enough you could see yourself falling farther and farther into his grasp over time and he didnt even know it. You let out one more sigh before turning around to see Kevin , who cant help but look at you concerned. Kevin: whats wrong y/n?

.. You avoid eye contact. Kevin is one of those people. Someone who can tell when someones upset. He can read you well. So you knew you had to leave quickly. Y/n: I didnt get much sleep last night. So I'm feeling quite off today, its nothing serious. *nervous laughter*

He seems to kind of believe it since he just nods his head as if he can see it apparent on your face.. But something feels off, like he's pretending to believe you for your sake but you just excuse yourself and head towards the bathroom.Totally unaware he hasnt stopped looking your way since turning around as he nods to himself again as if comfirming somthing to himself before turing to head to his own class.

Y/n Pov

*splash*

*in a quiet voice* 'Whats wrong with me..'.. Its like the moment I look at him I cant help it. My heart begins to race, my stomach ends up feeling funny like there are millions of butterflies, and I get nervous and run away each time he gets closer... *Looks back at self in mirror* only if he knew...

(5 min later.)

*sigh* *walks towards math*

Other POV

You sit down before class begins , and there it is again , his laughter, but this time its different. You cant help but turn around to see whats caused the change in his voice, and its like your throat gets caught. Her. The girl he always is talking to you about.It seems like he was finally able to build the courage to talk to her. The one he wants to take to the movies to see his favorite movies with. The one he wants to show his safe places to . The one who keeps him up at night. The one he wants to wear matching clothes with. The one he wants to spend his holidays with. Her. Its her. Guess he didn't need the homework anymore afterall.

You quickly turn back around , trying to keep your emotions in. You feel yourself go colder with each sound. A tightening feeling in your chest builds everytime you hear them laughing . You sigh and breathe in slowly , praying the class ends quickly .

The moment class ended you jolt up quckly and grab your things and head towards your locker for the next class.

Y/n Pov

*sigh* *grabs snack for break*

Eric:y/n!!!

I dont respond.

Eric:y/n? Whats wrong .*looks concerned*

There he goes again.

Nothing Eric i say. He looks in disbelief. Knowing theres something off.

Eric: hmmm.You sure sure?. Hmm Well lets go with the rest of the guys. They are waiting for us for sure. *wraps arm around shoulder*

It was like a sudden new reflex. I didnt mean to. But jerking away from him seemed like the only thing that my body felt like I should do...

The look of surprise on his face made me feel embarrassed I reacted that way. And as soon as it looked like he was going to ask me what was wrong again I speed down the hall.

And there I meet the rest of the guys , thankfully.

New: thank goodness you're here. Look help me out. Changmin keeps saying this chucky doll here is cute... Come get him .

I cant help but laugh. I take a seat next to Sangyeons right side while Juyeon is on my left.

Juyeon looks towards me as i sit and smiles that crescent moon kind of smile. Of course i return it .

Y/n: I dont know about chucky being cute. But his bride is quite a beauty tho.

New:..... You... You two are something else with your horror movies... Like... You know what, forget it. *laughs in defeat.*

Y/n: *dramatic gasps* my oh my you say that like WE'RE the weird ones.🙄👀

Sunwoo and Q: periodt👀👏

Eric finally arrives.

Eric: Guys!! Guess what?

Sunwoo: you did your math homework for once?

Eric:.... Mm well Uh no, i didnt

Sangyeon: you didnt ask y/n for the answers this time?

Eric: no i did, but she said no. I got it from. H/n (her name)

Hyunjae: so thats what it is. You spoke to her?

*breathe*

Eric: yes and guys, like, I think I've maybe got a chance.

There he goes again... Her. Its all her. JUST her...

Jacob: so did you ask her out?

Eric: yeah I did. I invited her to our movie night tonight. I was gonna ask you guys if you guys were cool with it beforehand but I didnt think I would must the courage to.

Juyeon: anything for you to get the girl. We got you

New: IF he gets her. She just doesnt know the headache she's in for.

Sangyeon: Guess all that practice on y/n was worth it.

Practice...

Thats all I was....

He says it smiling towards me , not knowing the hurt his words have just caused subconsciously but I cant smile. Not even a forced one. I just pretend I didnt heard him.

Eric: yeah she told me she actually thought I was dating y/n but of course I could never. We're like siblings.

Ouch...

New: true...

Q: I dont even think eric is y/n's type anyways

I make eye contact with someone who seems to have been watching my every move.

Kevin...

He looks like he is observing everything... From my reactions to my responses.After another 3 seconds he looks away.Not saying a word either.

Everyones laughing. Everyones congratulating him.

Younghoon:y/n?

Everyone turns to face me.oh .

Y/n: hm?

I was too lost in thought. I spaced out.

Sangyeon: What time are you coming by?

Y/n: for what?

Sunwoo: for the movie. We gotta all be Eric's wingman here. He needs all the help we can offer.

Oh.. She will be there too? Can I handle it? Yes? No? No I cant handle it

Y/n: Uh i cant . I have something that just came up. I just remembered.

I lied. And sure enough. I was seen through.

Eric: like what?

Y/n: something

Q: really? What is it? Maybe we can help you out so you can come by and hang out.

Something is snapping within me. I need to leave.

Y/n: no thanks. You guys have fun.

I get up before they give me a response. I cant be around them . not until i get over these feelings. But its harder than i thought. But i dont want to take it out on them either so I should try.

Everytime We'd see each other after that. It was HER. It was either him with her or about her.

Everytime in class, itd be HER.

Every text , HER.

And the guys went along with it.

And everytime , itd hurt. A punch to the heart. And a bit tighter it would feel each time.

And the constant reminder that its just HER and will always be HER..

only if he knew.. I wish I was her.... its like the way he'd talk about her was like he was telling you the reason for his existence, the way his eyes shined when hed see her and then theyd soften when she'd smile at him,the smile he'd have when hed describe her or simply talk about her and trust me he was always proud to, or the way he tried to contain his happiness when she'd come around to speak to him just showed me all i needed to know.

He loved her. She made him happy . Thats all that mattered.

I felt one of those sad smiles form. Because though he was happy . I was not. I dont want to be reminded its not me constantly..so with thaat thought. I call it quits. Until I no longer feel this feeling. I'll distance myself so I can let go properly and move on with time.

I suddenly stopped responding to the gc messages. Slowly started to decline to hang out. But it seems it wasn't a big deal though. She was there eveytime instead.She became apart of everything they did. And with that I started to spend all my time in the library as a way to naturally distance myself. The guys were worried at first. But once i told them I needed perfect scores to get into my dream college, they decided me spending most of my time in the library for it was alright. It was for my other "dream college" so I should put it first they said. For my future they said.And then they also suddenly stopped asking me to hang out.It didnt take long.They also suddenly stopped directing messages towards me in the gc. Personal messages as well. Slowly one by one. We stopped having things to talk about ,like we've become strangers with time.. Now to just glances every now and then, that was all. Other than that, we became just like strangers. Strangers with memories....

Suddenly..

Kevin: y/n...

*Distant laughter*

I turn to look at Kevin.Sensing he had something to say but it wouldnt come out. He looks towards the table and I follow his gaze towards the table full of boys with her in it. I can only smile. I smile when they errupt with laughter at something new and sunwoo said. Happy they're happy. And with that I turn back to Kevin.

I can only smile at Kevin. No words. Just a smile.

The look on his face says he has something to say still present.

For the past 6 months. He would have that same look on his face when I'd walk past him. But hes never actually stopped me.

Kevin: y/n...

And just like that . Suddenly I'm wrapped in a warmth I didnt think I missed. And it's like it went quiet..and the sound of sniffling fills my ears , and his hold gets tighter. Oh Kevin..

THE END.

Authors note: Maybe I can male a Pt2? This one turned out bad tbh .

I did not edit this but i will later onnnn thank youuuuuu

#the boyz scenario #the boyz eric #the boyz #the boyz oneshots #the boyz angst #the boyz onesided love #the boyz kevin

21 notes · View notes

serena-hart-09 · 3 years

Text

A Story’s Analyzation Chapter 4: A New Someone, and the Judgement on Pride

Summary: A new person seems to have entered.... And some Lucifer Hurt/Angst(?) (I am sorry, it gets good in the next chapter.)

I am not very proud about this chapter tbh. (Because of mistakes and stuff)

‘….

Ah, Reader it has been what? Five days?

*sigh* I’ve been a little busy you see….

“Narukou” makes me work a lot without break! *pouts*

Hm? Why do I call her “Narukou”? When you and I know that she is “her”?

Hmm…

Well, what about you? Why do you call her “Narukou” too when she wants you to call her “Lilith”? *Smiles at you and laughs*

Your face is very cute when you pout like that, you know?

Don’t worry I’ll tell you, since I have broken one of the “rules” of this universe.

Its because the story hasn’t progressed to “that” point of the story. The point, where you, the Mc gets to know about “Lilith”.

Hey now, don’t look at me like that! Its not my fault that the guys who created this decided to reveal about her so late in the story!

*sigh* Look I am not the one who created the story it is “Her” and those other guys who did.

…

Pfft-

HAHAHAHAAHAHA

S-sorry, you just looked so angry it was just too funny! Hehe!

………..

Reader, do you ever feel like, you’re a little different? Sometimes? And that you would rather wish to be like everyone else? Because, it feels like that no one will love you if you are “different”? That you will die alone if you continue being “different”?

…!!!!

Ah, there isn’t a reason- I-I just was asking out of curiosity…. But still can you give your answer at least, in the notes? I mean, this is tumblr... right?

….

Did- Did I broke damn wall?!

…..

Gaaaahhh! *Hides face in embarrassment, is blushing hard*

*Tries to calm down*

Ahem, I’m sorry, for doing that….

???

You don’t mind? *Is still blushing* Ah, um, alright…

Hm? You want to know my name?

….

*sigh* Sorry, Reader, but I can’t…..

…

It’s because “She” and I are…….. a same person…….

Yes, one of the creators….

She is the “RE-Tuner of Destiny”.

I’m……. Let’s just say a “self-insert” of “Her”.

To be honest, “She” is the one who is close to Lilith, not me……

Lilith…. Sorry, “Narukou”, was sent here to me under her orders….

I used to be a part of “Her” until, “She” decided to “retune” the whole story.

The funny thing is that, even “She” was a part of another person.

You know- *“Narukou” arrives bringing tea, after pouring in the cups she says something*

Ah, we were talking about the story. About how funny it was in last scene, hehe.

*“Narukou” nods and goes somewhere else*

*sigh* *Leans in*

*In a hushed voice* Keep this conversation a secret, please? It will our little secret, ok?

*smiles* Thanks!

Anyways, you should return back, I’m sure you want to know what happens next right? Especially after that funny “cliffhanger” right? Hehe.

Hey, Reader, wherever you are reading this, just know that I’m here to support you to even if I can’t help you from here. Even if I am Useless.....

Eh? Why am I saying this?

*smiles* Its because I know that Life is sometimes difficult……

So…. I want to help in any way I can!

You can come here anytime you want, the doors are always open for you!

Well, I won’t stall your time anymore so, we’ll meet next time alright?’

…………………………………………

……………………………………

………………………………….

………………………………

…………………………..

……………………..

…………………..

………………..

………………

……………

…………

………

…….

…..

….

…

Mc continues to pet Cerberus lovingly, while Cerberus purrs happily, while, Lucifer…… Well, is again stuck. “Uh, Lucifer?” Mc asks finally noticing Lucifer. Lucifer face looks between confused, horrified and just pure shock. “Hey, you ok there, buddy?”

Lucifer after what felt like eternity, finally snaps his attention to them, “Mc, how could you subdue, Cerberus? Especially after meeting for the first time?”

“Ah….. um….. Cause’ he is a good boy?” Mc says uncertainly while looking at Lucifer. While, said good boy woofs with excitement after hearing this. Mc looks at Cerberus with love, but then directs their attention back to him. He has a thoughtful expression on his face. It’s silent like this until they decide to break the ice, “Um, Lucifer lets go back…. I’m a little tired and sleepy, ok?”

“….” He seems unsure.

“Please, I’m know, even you had a long day, right?”

“…Yes.”

“Then, let’s go!” they say as they head towards the tomb’s door. Lucifer looks at them and follows them after looking back at Cerberus.

Both of them go their respective rooms. Lucifer sits down on his huge bed and rethinks about the events that transpired that day. A smile grows on his face as he thinks, ‘Just who are you?’

************

Mc sighs as they open their door to their room. “!!! What are you doing here?”

“Hey now, I’m not here to steal your stuff or anything!” Mammon speaks as he looks at them with an annoyed expression.

“What do you want, Mammon?”

He grumbles and mumbles something to himself and then says, “What did you do? I mean to those demons who attacked ya.”

“Oh, I just taught them a lesson.”

“……What were ya doing in Lucifer’s room?”

“Talking.”

“Talking about what?”

“What is this, an interrogation?”

“Yes, ya are my responsibility so I should know about it.”

“Responsibility? Don’t make me laugh! You ditched me! Not to mention you weren’t even interested in me before all of this!” They speak angrily.

“……Look I- Tch. I know I messed up. I’m sorry.”

“…. I don’t know.”

He looks at them with shock and then anger. “Fine, then die for all I care.” He gets up to leave and opens the door.

…..

“OI! This is part where you beg me not to leave!” he looks at them.

“Oh?” they smirk at him, “But didn’t you just told me die?”

“I-I that-! GAAAh! Look I am sorry!” he looks at the other side, “so much for looking cool and serious….”

“Pffft- hahahahahaahahhhahahaha!”

“OI, don’t laugh at me!”

“But you are so- hahaha!”

“Oi, knock it off! Or I won’t give ya, yer gift!”

They stop to look at him, “You got me a gift?” they smirk.

“Well, I was gonna! But now I won’t!” he looks at them with big grin on his face.

“I- what?”

“What happen’ regretting it now?”

They sigh, looking at him and then it hits to them, “So you were worried about me!”

“Wha- NO”

“You came here to check on me if was alright!”

“Wait- no-”

“You truly are cute, Mammon!”

“I am NOT cute!”

“Yes, you are!”

“NO!”

“Yes!”

“NOO!”

“Yes!”

“NOO-”

“Pfft-” surprisingly the both of them started to laugh together. Mammon looked at them with a small blush on his face.

“MAMMON Shut UP!” a new voice comes from the outside of their room.

Oh no, it was Asmodeus. Asmodeus looks at Mammon as if saying ‘get out now’. While Mammon’s face says ‘No you’.

“Uh, hey….” They try to greet him. Asmodeus looks at Mc with a smirk and goes over to you.

“Hey there, cutie!” he tries to take Mc’s hand and is successful much their dismay, “I heard about your brave story today! Tell me how did you do that? Are humans capable of doing this? Anyways, I here to give you skincare!”

“What-why?”

“Because I want to! After all, fighting is not good for your skin, Darling! Plus, I want to bond with you!”

“Oh, um… Thanks, I guess…”

“Great so let’s start now!” he says happily.

“Oi, get out now Asmodeus!”

“Why should I?”

“Because I am the second eldest.”

“Then my dear second eldest brother, kindly get out.”

“OI, respect your brother!”

“I did say it respectfully, you know?”

“Ahh, get out now I still want to talk to them.”

“Then do that later, scumbag.”

“Oi.” Mammon looks like he is ready to fight, “Tch. Back at ya, horndog!”

“Mammon? What did you say?” Asmodeus now looks like he is ready to fight too. ‘Oh no.’ Mc thinks to themselves.

“Ya heard me right. Now, get out!”

“No, you should get out!”

“Hah? Why would I? I mean what would happen if yer horny ass was tryin’ to get into Mc’s pants again?! Yer far more dangerous to them!”

“Guys, lets stop-” Mc was trying to stop to no avail.

“Says the one who ditched them!”

‘Mc control your anger…’ they think again.

“Shut up, horny!”

“Shut up, scum!”

‘That’s it.’

“BOTH OF YOU OUT OF MY ROOM NOW!” their roar at the two of them in the dead of the night.

*************

Lucifer looks around the dinning table ‘today is quiet’ he thinks. He sees as Asmodeus and Mammon refuse to look at each other and everyone else is just normal. He looks at Mammon who is looking serious and is sitting on the chair beside Mc’s, who hasn’t still come down yet. ‘How on the Devildom, this brother of mine is silent today?’ he thinks puzzled, ‘is this a miracle?’

Well, the miracle didn’t last after Mc finally enters the dinning room.

“G’Mornin’ Mc!” Mammon says loudly. “Ah, good morning Mammon, as energetic as ever I see.” They smile at him. Mammon wears a big grin and continues to talk to them only to be interrupted by Asmodeus, “Good morning, Darling! Hey, how about we do the skincare session today after RAD?”

“Yeah, sure. But I will kick you out if do something indecent.” They say as they bring the plate filled with food.

“Oi, Mc will be hanging out with me after RAD.” Mammon says with big victory smile as Lucifer chokes on his coffee.

“They are?” Lucifer asks unsure.

“I will?” Mc asks looking Mammon with a question mark on their face.

“Yeah, you will!” he says. Lucifer looks at the scene with a little anger. But this was not the normal one it was as if……. He was jealous……

‘Wait…. I’m jealous? But…. Why?!’ He thinks looking at his coffee with confusion and anger, it is Mc’s voice that bring him out of his thoughts, “Actually, I was thinking about going to the Library with Satan, if you don’t mind.” They say looking at Satan.

Satan looks at Lucifer, and smirks as if he knows what is Lucifer thinking about, and then looks at Mc and finally says, “of course it will be my pleasure, Mc.” He practically purrs at them which goes unnoticed by them but not by Lucifer.

Lucifer bangs the table and gets up, “Diavolo said I need to come at RAD early, as today a very important meeting is being held. Excuse me.” After this, he then leaves the Dinning room with an unreadable expression, leaving his confused brothers (except Satan) and a little worried Mc.

‘Interesting…..’ Satan thinks to himself as a mischievous smile blooms on his face.

***********

After that day, Satan hangs out with Mc for many days. Asmodeus sometimes teases Satan saying he has a crush on them, all while Mammon screams at the top of his lungs saying that he is in charge of them and that they are his human. Mc always laughs with amusement during such scenes….. It has been weeks Lucifer doesn’t say anything about his feelings until, one day his repressed jealousy turned into boiling anger. He enters into Mammon’s room.

“MAAAAAMOOOON.” He said as he stood behind said demon.

“Eek- Ah, uh, Lucifer, yes? Big bro, wha-wha-wha-what happened?”

“What is the meaning of this?!” he says as he literally throws piles of unpaid bills at his brother.

“……”

“How many times? Huh? Tell me, how many times I told you to control your greedy habits?!”

“……”

“Tch, sometimes I hate you, Mammon.”

“!!!” Mammon looks at him tears threatening to fall any minute. Mammon looks away from his brother ashamed.

“You truly are useless scum, Mammon.” He says with an ugly scowl. ‘Stop it’ his mind tells him but ‘say it. Say it more. Show him his place’ his pride sneers.

“If Mammon is a scum, you are not any wiser, Lucifer.” A mocking voice come from behind.

“…Mc”

“Lucifer.” they say, “What is this?”

“Its none of your damn business, human.”

“It is, if my friend is in trouble.”

Jealousy eats him even more, hearing the word ‘friend’. ‘They became close, huh’ but he continues, “And what do you mean by, I’m not wiser? At least I’m not a scumbag who spends his money like whatever! Tell me Mc am I wrong to call him that?”

“…..Yes, yes you are.”

“….” Lucifer goes into his demon form. He has a threatening purple aura around him. “Oh? I am? How amusing! Tell me how I am wrong!” he is at this point, yelling.

“Mc, run now!” Mammon calls out to them, scared.

“…..First of all, you are literally the Avatar of Pride. You always let your pride talk instead of your true self…… Lucifer, you are being hypocrite, if you are blaming Mammon to indulge in his sin. True, his habits are not good, true, he should control them, but what about you? You, who refuses to create a boundary for your pride to control YOUR life. You behave as if you bow to no one, but you do to your pride. Lucifer, self-dignity and being a control freak of an asshole is different. You are doing the latter. If you think Mammon is weak for giving into his sin, then you Lucifer, are the weakest since all other brothers actually try to control their sins if the situation requires them to do so! Even Asmo controls himself around me now! So, stop being Mr. Perfect because you are NOT! You are weak, weak to the sin you embody. Let me tell you if don’t change your ways, if you learn to control your sin mark my words you will lose everything even before you realize it!” Mc huffs and looks at Lucifer only to meet with a deadly look on his face.

“YOU DARE TO INSULT ME?! TO HUMILIATE ME?! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOURSELF? SOMEONE GREATER THAN ME? YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A WEAK, PATHETIC LEECH OF A HUMAN! I WILL TEAR YOU APART LIMB BY LIMB AND HANG YOUR REMAINS FOR EVERYONE TO SEE, SO THEY WOULD NOT DARE TO SPEAK SO ARROGANTLY WITH ME!”

“…..” Mc looks at Mammon with a reassuring smile. “M-Mc, Run away now, why are you smiling?!”

“Mammon, bring your brothers and Lord Diavolo for me, will you?” they say still wear a smile.

“I’m not leaving ya here!”

But Mc smirks at him, saying something no rather…… chanting a spell?!

“Wha-”

“Please do as I requested, Mammon.”

“MC NO-” Mammon screams as he is teleported to a different location due to the spell.

“……” they turn to look at Lucifer. He looks actually very horrifyingly scary. Lucifer looks at Mc like a crazed lunatic.

“See? I told you, you are weak. So much that you even lost control of your anger…..”

Lucifer only loudly growls at them.

“….Let’s you help out of this, hm? I wanted to talk to you, and I’m not leaving until we do. After all, I haven’t chatted with for weeks, you know?”

Lucifer attacks them.

“I must say, it’s a shame that we have to go through this……”

*******************************************

*************************************

********************************

*************************

*********************

*****************

**************

***********

*******

*****

***

I must say, you are interesting, Reader.

I’m not the same person you met after the end of every chapter…. (chuckles)

This is our first time meeting each other…..

I will cut to chase, I can’t meet you always like that person does but, I will write you a letter to give you a gist of what is going on. It depends upon you to read it or not……..

Me?

Who am I?

I am sure you already think you know who I am?

But that is where you are wrong, my child.

It has been a while since I have given someone a riddle to solve.

Ah, memories!

(chuckles) Well, how about this I will give small hints in some chapters that may be marked with {} or by ***.

These clues will become, useful for your riddle. Of course, you will be a little confused at first but I know you will get the answer. I know you can. There is no doubt in it.

The very first clue of the riddle will be added to the tags after a certain point of the point, don’t worry it will be soon, very soon.

The riddle is simple,

……

…

Who Am I?”

#shall we date obey me #obey mie fic #obey me #obey me x mc #obey me lucifer #lucifer x reader #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me luke #book of observations series #a story's analyzation

5 notes · View notes

snkpolls · 3 years

Text

SnK Episode 63 Poll Results (for Anime Only Watchers)

The poll closed with 114 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Manga Readers’ poll, click here.

Anime only watchers, beware of spoilers if you venture over to the manga readers’ poll results.

---

RATE THE EPISODE 98 Responses

It would appear that the response to this week’s episode is even higher than last week’s, with 99% giving it a score of 3 or higher. Nice!

Amazing episode overall, it really gives you the feeling that something huge is about to happen

The best episode so far. Music was perfectly matched with animations.

Hype

i liked it!

This was an amazing episode and I can't wait to see what will happen next !

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 100 Responses

The cliffhanger at the end of the episode was by and far the most favorite among viewers, with 56% stating it was their favorite moment from the episode. It is distantly followed by the festival scene in which Reiner sacrifices his money to spoil the kids. And at a distant third, people got a good laugh at the stairwell scene where Porco gets spooked by Pieck.

WOULD YOU SHAMELESSLY EXPLOIT REINER FINANCIALLY IF YOU HAD SUCH AN OPPORTUNITY? 99 Responses

Looks like more than half (61.6%) of responders would agree to exploit Reiner financially (half of those without a hint of shame). Others would either consider it or reject the offer, in that order.

RIP Reiner's money

WHICH FOOD WOULD YOU WANT REINER TO BUY YOU? 99 Responses

Pizza is the clear winner on this one (62.6%), followed by Desser at a distant second (25.3%). Just a little over 9% went for Sandwiches instead. The couple of other responders clearly cheated!

WHICH KID HAD THE CUTEST “BEGGING” EXPRESSION? 100 Responses

Gabi went ahead and knocked out her competition for this tournament (gaining 64%). Guess she really is cute, as she says. Falco’s in distant second (29%), followed by Zofia (7%). Poor Udo has gotten no love.

NOW THAT WE’VE SEEN MORE OF THE NEW CAST, WE’LL ASK AGAIN. WHICH NEW CHARACTER IS YOUR FAVORITE? 99 Responses

We’re back with this question, again. It would appear that Falco has won over the hearts of most responders, gaining 54.5%. Pieck the Enigmatic Cart Titan Shifter is in second place with a little over 25%. Gabi the Fiery Warrior cadet is in third place with 10.1%. Others gave their preference for Willy, Magath, Zofia and Udo in that order. Poor Porco has gotten no love!

Love zofia but my favs always disappointed me.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF PIECK CRAWLING ON ALL FOURS BECAUSE IT FEELS “MORE NATURAL” FOR HER? 97 Responses

When it comes to the scene of Pieck crawling on all fours, almost 60% seemed to think of it as either a cute or even a hot (you know what kind of hot) moment. On the flip side, almost 26% thought the scene was disturbing or simply sad. A few others either didn’t seem to care or thought the scene was funny.

Cute,but sad since she's adapted to being this tool for war of the Marleyans

fan service

Pieck got a dump truck

mixed

Y'ALL NEED TO TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND TOUCH SOME GRASS, YOU HORNY F*CKS

WILLY TELLS MAGATH THAT THE WARHAMMER TITAN IS PRESENT, BUT THAT MAGATH PROBABLY CAN’T GUESS WHICH MEMBER OF THE TYBUR FAMILY HOLDS IT. WHO WOULD BE YOUR GUESS? 100 Responses

In retrospect, we should have included an option for those who have already been spoiled on the identity of the Warhammer titan, based on many of the responses we received. We’ve blacked out the pie chart to avoid spoiling anyone. But, in order from the first choice on the list to the last available choice, the following options were most favored: Willy, the old man, the old woman, the blonde mother, one of the children, the woman serving food, and one of the guards.

MAGATH AND WILLY TALK ABOUT MARLEY’S SELF-DESTRUCTIVE WAR HISTORY AND MAGATH NOTES THAT IT’S TOO LATE TO STOP IT. DO YOU AGREE WITH HIM? 98 Responses

Most responses assert that Magath’s prediction will come true in the end and Marley’s downfall will be a result of its own conduct (little over 56%). Some others dissent, arguing that although Marley will probably fall, it will not be because of its own previous conduct. The rest either can’t say for sure, believe Willy’s plans will save the nation or simply don’t care.

WILLY TALKS A BIT ABOUT “HELOS,” THE GREAT HERO OF MARLEY WHO SUBDUED THE TITANS. HE SAYS THAT MARLEY NEEDS ANOTHER “HELOS.” WHO, IF ANY, OF OUR PROMINENT CAST MEMBERS DO YOU THINK THAT NEW HERO COULD BE? 96 Responses

“I need a Hero! I’m holding out for a hero to the end of the-“, you get the point. Everybody needs a hero, right? It would appear that a quarter believe Eren could fit in as this metaphorical “Helos”. Almost 20% believe that none of them will fit this type of role. In third place we have our recently promoted Protagonist, Reiner Braun. Other popular options included Zeke, Levi and Falco, in that order. Gabi was written in for one response. Looks like we forgot to include her in our options. 😅

gabi... i feel very early seasons eren vibes from her

IN A SIMILAR VEIN, MAGATH CRITICIZES THE HELOS STATUE BY STATING THAT IT IS HOLLOW INSIDE. WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS MEANS? 98 Responses

When critiquing the statue itself, Magath noted that it is hollow. In that vein, almost 38% believe that Marley’s defeat of the Titans in the Great Titan War is a hollow lie. Others (17.3%) believe the story will simply lack a hero in the end. Almost the same percentage (16.3%) think that Marley’s defeat of the Titans *was* genuine, but their subsequent conduct is anything but heroic. The rest either believe there is some thematic substance in that statement, but aren’t sure what it is or think that Magath is just a cynic.

WHAT IS THE TRUTH WILLY INTENDS TO REVEAL AT THE FESTIVAL? 97 Responses

When it comes to discerning Willy’s plan at the festival, almost 65% were convinced he wants to reveal something about the history of Marley and Eldia. In distant second place (16.5%) we had folks believing Willy wants to reveal certain information about the Titans. The rest were either not sure or thought he wanted to reveal info about something else entirely.

the war

WHAT DO YOU THINK WILLY’S “SOLUTION” TO THE WORLD’S PROBLEMS MAY BE? 96 Responses

We got a rather colorful pie chart for such a bleak question. The slight plurality (27.1%) believe Willy wants to obtain the coordinate in order to obtain the control of all Eldians, others (26%) believe he wants to commit genocide on Eldians living on Paradis island or perhaps wants to obtain the powers of all Nine Titans. The rest believe Lord Tybur either wants to commit genocide on all Eldians in the world or wants to make with the Ethnic group. A whole array of different opinions.

the war Genocide of Marlians

I don't really know lol

DO YOU THINK WILLY CAN CONVINCE THE PEOPLE TO GET ON BOARD WITH THE “SOLUTION” HE WILL REVEAL AT THE PLAY? 97 Responses

When it comes to convincing the audience of the festival to support Willy’s plans, the overwhelming majority believe he’ll be successful, either in part (majority) or in whole (minority). The rather miniscule minority isn’t sure and even less people believe Willy will wholly fail.

I think Willy's speech may lead to a serious division throughout Marley between people that agree with his solution and people that don't

marleyans are a bunch of sheeps anyways so i don't think they will even question his "solution" as long as it's about getting rid of eldians

WE ARE INTRODUCED TO A WOMAN WHO GABI SAYS IS “AN EASTERNER FROM HIZURU,” WHO APPEARS TO BE SYMPATHETIC TOWARD THE ELDIANS. DO YOU THINK THAT THIS WOMAN WILL HAVE ANY IMPORTANCE IN FUTURE PLOT DEVELOPMENTS? 97 Responses

When it comes to the “Easterner from Hizuru”, it would appear that a decent chunk of responses believe she’ll play some sort of role in the story later, either in relation to Mikasa (42.3%) or the Eldians (16.5%) as a whole. Others dissent and argue that she’s there to showcase people sympathetic to the Eldians in the world instead (24.7%). Finally, some are simply not sure (16.5%).

DO YOU THINK THERE IS ANY SIGNIFICANCE TO THE BASEBALL MITT? 97 Responses

It would appear that Eren has a baseball mitt. Does it mean there is any significance to it? I don’t know. I’m just a ghost writing walls of text. Anyway, a plurality (42.3%) of those answering this question believe that there is (significance) and that it’s a hidden message from Eren’s “family”. Some others also believe in the importance of the mitt (22.7%), but aren’t sure of what it means exactly. Others take a middle position (21.6%) favoring a symbolic interpretation of the iteam. The rest simply have no idea.

From monkey boy and his perfect game ? Idk why tbh

Maybe alluding to Zeke, probably helps Eren where to channel his hatred

DO YOU THINK THAT EREN CAME TO MARLEY ALONE, OR WAS HE SENT THERE BY THE SURVEY CORPS TO FULFILL A ROLE? 96 Responses

When it comes to the status of the SC and Eren in Marley, the definitive majority believe they are there with him (59.4%). Almost 22% think he is there alone and without the consent of the Corps. On the flip side, 14.6% believe he is there alone, but wholly with the Corps’ consent.

HOW DO YOU THINK REINER AND EREN’S CONVERSATION WILL GO? 95 Responses

A rather interesting development exists in the prospect of another conversation between Eren and Reiner. Also interesting are the predictions for this question. Just a little over a third believe they’ll have a civil talk, in contrast to their talk from S2. A little under a third believe the conversation will not have any yelling, but will still be rather bitter. Others believe that they’ll either start fighting or engage in another shouting match. 9.5% are simply not sure.

Eren becomes attack titan probably

ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW MUCH WOULD YOU LIKE TO RETURN TO THE SURVEY CORPS/PARADIS RIGHT NOW? 97 Responses

Finally, here is another recurring question. How much do you want to return to the SC/Paradis right now? A little over 50% are very eager, though a little under 50% state that they can afford to wait a bit.

Marley is kinda boring

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

I feel like the story hasn't moved that much or maybe there are just a lot of things that haven't been clarified yet. I did read some spoilers of the latest chapters but I can't seem to connect the latest episodes to the spoilers I have read.

Mainly gave it a 4 because I'm in the middle between superb quality of animation and my lack of interest in the Warriors, but added +1 because we are finally getting back to the SC crew!

Gabi is still annoying as hell, she's the effing worst

The build up is nice

I felt bad for Grandad Yeager, wish Eren could have patted his shoulder or something. Guess he's an asshole now. Would love to find out more about the baseball thing.

I can't wiat 2 weeks, i'm going to cry

The more they focus on Gabi, the more unlikable and unsympathetic she becomes. I really hope we don't have to deal with too much more of her after this arc.

It really felt like the calm before the storm. Very interesting episode. I just know something is going to happen during Tybur's speech and Eren's talk with Reiner. Can't wait!

Sucks to be Falco ig

Ughhhhh, just a fucking vibe of an episode. I'll say it.... I like Reiner now😌😌 yeh I know. This episode made me love the warriors crew despite me not giving an f about them before. I hope porco is secretly in love with Reiner and explains why he hated him so much. Still waiting out for [redacted]’s new side part, hopefully we will see him soon. Well... till next week friends ~C

wait too long for next T-T

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 91 Responses

Thank you again to everyone who participated! We’ll see you again next episode!

#snk poll #snk polls #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk #aot #snk spoilers

8 notes · View notes