#batfamily incorrect texts | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

qcomicsy · 1 year

Text

Phrases I bet were said on the Batcave without context.

Duke: So you had enough time to put a dinosaur here but not to cover the endless pit of death?

------

Babs (To Dick in the Batman suit): Do not kiss me wearing that it freaks me out.

-----

Jason: Okay. Got it you have a plan. Great. But before we all follow it I have to ask– is that a fucking cow?

-----

Damian: I admit. I haven't misplanned how to get Batcow out of the cave.

----

Alfred: Master Bruce there's a lot of courage in trying to tell me how to take care of the kid you won't clean up after.

---

Tim (to the Jason's memorial): Stop looking at me like that.

---

Jason (to the Jason's memorial): Stop looking at me like that.

---

Superman (first time there): You know I'm not surprised.

---

Bruce (In the middle of a video call with the Justice league and hearing the loudest argument from upstairs): Give me a second.

Bruce: DO NOT MAKE ME GO UP THERE

Silence.

Bruce: As I was saying–

----

13 year old Tim: Okay, hear me out– That might sound a little crazy. But what about. . . pants. Same thing, same suit, but with pants

----

Bruce (being paranoid): I'm not being paranoid.

---

Jason, looking at the Batcomputer: Ever tried to run GTA on this thing?

Tim: You are a danger to society,

Tim: And a coward. Try Skyrim.

---

20 something Nightwing visiting: Why are you awake?

15 year old Jason: Why are you dressed as the lost member of the village people?

---

Batman: I thought you were on a family vacation.

13 year old Tim: So did my parents– Look at what I found on the Two-Face case.

4K notes · View notes

bruciemilf · 2 months

Text

Damian: Baba. I’ve acquired an enemy at the academy. He’s been ripping my drawings, teasing me about my lineage, and smearing your honor. I understand murder can’t happen. How shall I proceed?

Bruce: [Has a flashback of Thomas driving to his bully’s house, spiked brass knuckles on his hands, petting his head and smiling dangerously, ‘I’ll be right back, chum!’]

Bruce: …I’ll talk to his parents.

Damian: Todd?

Jason: Finally, an excuse to tackle a 10 year old.

#bruce: nO-#damian: then what do you propose we do!!! this beast knows no peace!!!#bruce: we buy his father’s company and make him take an unpaid internship.#damian: father!!! that is…inhuman. I praise you.#bruce wayne #damian wayne #jason todd #dc comics #dc #batfamily #incorrect quotes #batdad #bruce is very protective of his birdies pass it on #batman #text post

14K notes · View notes

dragonpyre · 2 months

Text

Jason: foster care is just government sanctioned kidnapping

Dick: wait no, you’re right

Tim: that’s why I made a fake uncle

Bruce, tired: no

#Batman #dc #Jason Todd #dick Grayson #Tim Drake #Bruce Wayne #batfamily #batkids #batbros #batsiblings #batfam #text post #incorrect quotes

5K notes · View notes

superbat-love · 3 months

Text

Dick: So how has domestic life been for you?

Bruce: Clark and I do not have a domestic life.

Dick: Oh? What about all the times Clark did the laundry?

Bruce: Our suits were contaminated with radioactive or toxic materials.

Dick: Or when you helped to sew his torn clothes?

Bruce: I doubt the local tailor would have Kryptonian-strength needle and thread for his cloak.

Dick: Or that time when he helped you move your stuff?

Bruce: It’s a hassle to send movers to outer space.

Clark: Hey B, I’m home! I’d hug you, but I’m covered in metal swarf from blasting Luthor’s robots today. Hi Dick!

Bruce: Hn, go shower and get changed. Your dinner is on the table.

4K notes · View notes

canigohomenoow · 9 months

Text

Batfam on Twitter (3)

3K notes · View notes

fanaticalthings · 2 years

Text

local billionaire gets cyberbullied by his 15 children

<- Prev

13K notes · View notes

greenapplebling · 2 months

Text

Jason: What's up?

Bruce: My blood pressure

Jason: That shit's ever down?

#dc #jason todd #batman #bruce wayne #red hood #batfam #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam incorrect quotes #batkids #batdad #source: inspired by a pukicho post #text #shitpost

742 notes · View notes

shyjusticewarrior · 1 month

Text

Tim: "Do you think seahorses write fpreg” and the many other riveting things Bernard texts me right before I go on patrol.

Duke: Do they write it? No. Seahorses are notoriously illiterate. Do they fantasise about it? Perhaps.

481 notes · View notes

incorrectbatfam · 11 months

Conversation

[texting]

Tim: What if the "g" in "gif" is silent?

Jason: Go the fuck to sleep.

Tim: What gif I don't want to?

Jason: Fuck you.

#source: texts from last night #tim drake #red robin #jason todd #red hood #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #tw swearing

1K notes · View notes

raeofgayshine · 2 years

Text

Bruce Wayne, drunk and full on Brucie mood in the middle of a gala: You know, that accent doesn’t really fit in around here. It’s cute. Where are you from?

Clark, internally debating every life choice that led him to this moment: I’m from Smallville. Kansas.

Bruce, leaning closer to Clark with a flirty smile: Oh you’re cute and funny. You know, I like that in a man.

Clark, very confused but trying to just go along with it: Thank you??

Bruce: I mean, everyone knows that Kansas isn’t real but I do always enjoy a good laugh.

Clark: What.

Bruce: What? Everyone knows that Kansas was made up for Wizard of Oz.

Clark, unsure if Bruce is fucking with him or if he’s just really deep into this dumb act: Bruce, Kansas is a real place. It’s one of the 50 states that make up America.

Bruce, tilting his head a little confused: There’s 50 states? Since when?

#ravenpuff rambles #bruce wayne #Clark Kent #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #superbat #if you want to read it like that I mean Bruce is definitely flirting with Clark #and annoying him at the same time but really that’s just their relationship #anyways shout out to my sister who texted me ‘You think Bruce pretends Kansas isn’t real to annoy Clark?’#haven’t been able to stop thinking about that since then #The thing is Bruce absolutely went into this as just a way to fuck with Clark but he got drunk and maybe leaned in a bit too hard #and then the next thing he knows he’s waking up to the news story ‘Bruce Wayne shocked to find out Kansas is real’#*cuts to video of a distraught Bruce looking at Clark’s phone where Clark has a map of the US up*#‘See there’s Kansas’#Bruce: ‘My whole life has been a lie?’ *looks to the camera* ‘Dick Dick did you know that Kansas was *real*’#Dick snickering: ‘Yeah B they taught us that in school’#Bruce: ‘Why didn’t anyone tell me?’#His kids never fucking let him live it down nor do any of them believe Bruce when he tries to defend himself and say he knew Kansas was real #all along. They just pat his arm and go ‘Sure you did B’#Brucie Wayne my beloved himbo of a man

5K notes · View notes

bruciemilf · 5 months

Text

no I'm not biased abt Bruce. Where'd you get that idea

#had an anxiety attack at my pre work training today so that was slay #anyway content!!!!#bruce wayne #dc #dc comics #jason todd #text post #batfamily #dick grayson #alfred pennyworth #damian wayne #tim drake #harley quinn #batfam #incorrect dc quotes

5K notes · View notes

dragonpyre · 9 months

Text

Dick: so wait, most of us have died at some point. How come we don’t have white streaks in our hair like Jason?

Tim: maybe it has to do with the Lazarus Pit

Damian: false. Neither Mother nor Grandfather have streaks born of unnatural causes

Steph: maybe it’s cuz he was dead longer

Cass: that doesn’t make sense

Steph: do you have a better idea!?

Jason:

Jason: I have vitiligo, you fucks

#the mystery of Jason’s semi present white streak #dc #DCU #batfamily #batfam #Jason Todd #dick grayson #Damian Wayne #Tim Drake #Stephanie brown #Cassandra Cain #text post #incorrect quotes

7K notes · View notes

superbat-love · 3 months

Text

Bruce: Why are you kids making such a ruckus this early in the morning?

Damian: Father, the alien is taking too long in the bathroom!

Clark: [singing in the bathroom]

Tim: You’re jumping the queue, demon brat! Get back in line!

Bruce: There are over 20 bathrooms in this house. Why are you all fighting over this one?

Tim: The wifi signal is the strongest here.

Steph: The natural lighting is the best here!

Dick: This one has a jacuzzi!

Damian: I’m your son!

Jason: Because Tim and Damian are here.

Duke: This bathroom’s the least haunted.

Cass: [finishes tying Jason’s and Damian’s shoelaces together]

Bruce: Well this is my bathroom. Go get your own. If you start fighting, no, when you start fighting outside this door, I’m getting Alfred to bring out the water hose. [enters the bathroom and shuts the door behind him]

3K notes · View notes

canigohomenoow · 11 months

Text

#these are texts taken from conversations i’ve had in real life #i love them your honor #they fight over who’s color is red #i love their bickering #they actually hate each other #they’re all just complex little blorbos to me #they’re so older sister younger brother #batfam incorrect quotes #jason todd #batfam #tim drake #batfamily #dc #red robin #red hood #batkids

3K notes · View notes

fanaticalthings · 2 years

Text

You know how siblings will pay each other to get the other to do something for them?

I bet the batkids do that with each other all the time, except the offers they make are absolute ass, yet the other sibling always accepts regardless of what they get in return.

But if BRUCE offers them something (usually money) to do something for him they always berate him for being cheap like "Oh, so you're a BILLIONAIRE and won't even pay your own children a living wage for us to complete this one simple task? For SHAME!"

Tim: I'll give you my left over fruit roll up if you write my 2000 word English paper for me.

Jason: Deal.

[Bruce seeing this exchange]

Bruce: I'll give you 100 doll-

Jason: Don't be stingy.

#spoiler: bruce was actually trying to ask jason to hang out with him #bruce: i give you kids access to your own seperate funds #batkids: oh so youre making EXCUSES now is that it??? we thought we raised you better than this #dc comics #batfamily #batfam #batdad #incorrect quotes #jason todd #red hood #bruce wayne #batman #tim drake #red robin #batkids #incorrect texts #batbros #crack #fanatical posting

14K notes · View notes

daydreamingwithcomfortcharacters · 1 month

Text

#got the idea from theses Cod posts I’ve been seeing #found the text on Pinterest #thought of them #Damian Wayne #Jason Todd #dc incorrect quotes #pintetest #batfamily #robin #Red Hood #incorrect dc quotes #batman wayne family adventures #incorrect batfamily quotes

98 notes · View notes