#but Tamlin wasn’t a very good spy

[algumaideia]

SJM treatment of Tamlin and why it is wrong

You know, she treated Tamlin so bad that only because of that I became his stan. That is literally the only reason why I am pro Tamlin. Just that. 

First, Tamlin did abused Feyre and Lucien in the second book. This is a fact. So don’t say that I’m here trying to appologize an abuser because I’m not. Actually the story that I wanted for Tamlin is that Feyre kicks him and go do whatever because I don’t care about her, Tamlin feels sad then goes after her, she says how bad he was and etc, Tamlin feels depressed because he realizes she is right, Lucien brings the Tamlin out of his depressive state through the power of friendship, Tamlin tries to be a better person, Tamlin becomes Tarquin’s friend, they both rebuild their court together. You see, my character arc for him has a part where he acknowledge he was being abusive(something that Rhys never did cof cof).

Anyway let’s start with why SJM treatment of Tamlin was wrong. 

I don’t know if my post needs it, but just in case. TW: abuse, ptsd, trauma, depression, sjm bad writing.

Ptsd, trauma and abuse

You know, at the same time that I know Tamlin’s abuse was wrong and horrible I also want to ignore it because, besides the negligence, it was just bad writing. What do you mean by bad writing? Well, let’s compare Tamlin’s ptsd with Kaz and one of my main characters. Why am I going to compare ptsd when I am talking about abuse? I am going to do so because Tamlin’s abuse is caused by his ptsd. Other point, I know it is imature, but I’m very insecure about my writing and compare SJM writing with mine makes me feel better. I’m sorry about that.

Kaz passed through a horrible experience and because of that he has extreme touch aversion. But the trauma and ptsd didn’t change his personality, they weren’t responsables to make a good kid become a rough boy that is the leader of a gang. The circunstances did it (I haven’t read the second book yet, no spoleirs). Of course that the trauma changed the way he interacted with people but what made him change was the fact that he was a lonely child with a heart full of hatred and desire for vengence living in a place full of thieves and gangs. Now Jafari, my main character, also lived a traumatic experience. He has nightmares, triggers and intrusive thoughts. However, the “basis” of his ptsd is that he ignores and avoids his emotions, his grief and his trauma. He doesn’t like conflicts, he is passive, he doesn’t deal with things, he just let things solve themselves. And that’s why his ptsd is based on him avoiding dealing with what happened and trying to process what happened. 

Tamlin’s abuse and ptsd is based on three things: anger, neglect and being controlling. To be fair the neglect and controlling part makes sense, but I still have problems with them. Now the anger is so weird. I don’t remember Acotar pretty well but during all the time Tamlin was UTM he had control over his actions and feelings. Amarantha wanted to hurt him by hurting his love and his friends, she was also problaby sexually assalting him. Tamlin saw Feyre being tortured, suffering and being sexually abused and he never showed any reaction because he knew if he did that Amarantha would make everything worse for her. Considering that how his ptsd and abuse is he having no control towards his anger? It makes no sense. 

In the first book Lucien insults and makes fun of  Tamlin all the time and Tamlin has no problem with it. Not only that but his court has no ranks, not like Rhys’ court cof cof. But now Lucien can’t give him even a suggestion that he is almost killing his only friend who survived during Aramanthas reign? Sigh That’s my problem with Tamlln being a control freak. And I aslo have the feeling that SJM only put it so then Rhys could say it is your choice all the time. 

About the neglect, Tamlin was trying to rebuilt his court, was dealing with his trauma and there was also the fact that Feyre wasn’t safe since other High Lords would be mad with her for having their powers. Tamlin neglecting Feyre is logical. But people forget that Feyre was also neglecting Tamlin. As I said I don’t remember Acotar pretty well but I think that Tamlin asked how Feyre was at some point, but Feyre never did that. She was all: ohhh Tamlin knows that I am throwing up and having nightmares why he does nothing? Tamlin isn’t sleeping well too, but he never asks me how am I doing. You want to blame Tamlin for his negligence towards Feyre? Good, do it, you are right. But Feyre did the same thing. She NEVER EVER even thought to ask if Tamlin was okay, or acknowlegded that he was also suffering. 

At least Tamlin tried to communicate with her, Feyre never did that. For example he gave her paints so then she could start painting again. And this was good, Feyre was depressed and that is why she didn’t painted. One thing that depressed people do sometimes is to avoid doing things they know will make them happy. Feyre was doing that. And this was also Tamlin trying to communicate with Feyre and she just ignored it and then was angry because he didn’t know that she couldn’t stand the color red, but Rhys knew. This is so wrong.

1. Rhys only knew that because he invaded her mind and discovered something she wasn’t confortable talking with anyone.

2. She never told about her problem with the color red with Tamlin. She never talked with him. How was he supposed to know?

3. This was the perfect opportunity to talk about that with him, but she didn’t.

Tamlin's ptsd was ignored through the whole series, he was treated as the worst person ever when Rhys who did the same things was treated as the best person in Earth and his logical actions were treated as stupid.

Tamlin’s “illogical” actions

You know, there is a lot of memes that say how Tamlin was stupid to think that Feyre would like to come back to him after spending sometime with Rhys. Yeah, how dumb! Why he would think that he love of his life would like to come back to him after being kidnapped by the guy who sexually abused her for months, the guy who joined Amarantha for no reason, the guy who has been known for torturing people and having a court full of miserable fae. Hahaha so dumb!! She even sent him a letter saying she didn’t want anything with him, and he was stupid to go after her anyway. I mean, the guy known for being a psycho that kidnapped her was also able to control minds so why wouldn’t he believe in the letter? Hahahaha. *Sigh*

A lot of people criticize Tamlin for colecting taxes in Acomaf, like how could he? People first, where do you think all Rhys money came from? His work? Second, it was the first time he did it in 50 years and he postponed it a month. He was trying to get everything back to normal. Besides taxes are an important part of a governament, it is from them that the governament can make things, like hospitals, better streets(at least they were supposed to do so). SJM didn’t make it clear what a HIgh Lord job is. She said that Tamlin job is to protect the Spring Court, but in every other moment it is implied that High Lord are likes kings so I don’t know. Anyway this makes perfect sense, congratulations to Tamln.

Then he allies with Hybern and people act like he did that to take Feyre back form Rhysand. How dumb! Hahaha. He did that to save his people. The Spring Court was in a delicated position, he lost a lot of his friends during Amarantha reign and they were problaby responsable to protect the Spring Court. The agreement would protect this people, got Feyre back and made him able to spy Hybern. And this is more than Rhys did. He only tortured people to protect a hidden city, nothing more. 

In the war meeting he had the all the right to be angry, but it wasn’t nice to say that about Feyre. I won’t say anything more because I could write a whole post about how wrong this meeting was. 

And finally he helped to resurrected Rhysand and it was put as an amazing thing. But it was nonsense. Why he helped the guy who kidnapped his love and manipulated her? Why he helped the guy who sent his love to destroy his court? Why he helped the guy who allied with Amarantha for no reason? Why he helped the guy who is known for being a monster for years? Specialy condering that this guy could get his powers. And after that Rhys decieded to visit Tamlin and make him more miserable than he already us. But that’s ok because Rhys is the best male. Not only that but Rhys now is visiting Tamlin oftenly in Acofs apparently. This makes me so ANGRY. 

This was my messy post.

Best regards, 

Me.

Ps. Sorry for writing makes sense and its variations too much, but that is because I don’t know English that well so my knowledge is very limited.

#anti sjm #sjm critical #anti acotar #anti acowar #anti acomaf #anti feyre #anti rhysand #anti feysand #tamlin #lucien #lucien vanserra

[aelingalathyniusrailme]

things I will not be taking criticism on

gwyneth berdara deserves the fucking world, she is a queen and an amazing character who is a good person and has done nothing to prove otherwise.

nesta did not change, she just realized she didn’t have to have all of her walls up all the time and be a raging bitch to the people who care about her. that’s called growth

feyre is not just a mindless housewife who does whatever rhys wants. she constantly tells him when he goes too far. to say this is so disrespectful to her character and contradicts pretty much everything in the books

rhys and nesta are two sides of the same fucking coin. they don’t get along because they are exactly the same.

I love mor as a character but she pretty much adds nothing to the series besides being everyone’s transportation

cassian deserved better development then he got in acosf and he’s not dumb, not even a little bit. just because he wasn’t born great at the whole manipulation/playing games thing does not make him dumb

does mor have to come out to anyone? fuck no. but she should have made it clear to azriel a long time ago that it was never going to happen. and azriel, he should learn how to take a hint. like seriously 500 years plus mor interrupting his love confession. my god how is someone who is a literal spy so dense.

same goes for elain and lucien. does she owe him her time or affection? absolutely not. however she needs to understand that she is not the only one who is shackled to someone else. lucien is going through the exact same thing but we all seem to think it’s only elain whose perspective on the situation matters. lucien clearly wants to try or at least get to know elain. so what elain does owe him is either a firm rejection because stringing people along, not ok, or she can decide she wants to try/gets to know him. or at the very least a conversation. what’s she’s doing is selfish.

azriel is kind of an asshole. and threatening to kill lucien, who he knows nothing about, because he thinks he doesn’t deserve elain, that’s not romantic that’s toxic and a little psychotic

emerie is one of the strongest characters in the series

not liking elain is valid. not liking any of the characters is valid. it is your opinion

the only redemption arc tamlin should get is if he dies for lucien any thing else I don’t accept

nesta is the hottest character in the acotar universe. once again I will not be accepting criticism this is a fact

should amren have stayed dead? probably but she does add historical context that is crucial to the plot

there were more but I lost them and don’t feel like trying to remember what I said. so

#acotar #acosf #feysand #gwynriel #sjm #elucien #nessian #acomaf #acowar #feyre #rhys #azriel #cassian #mor #amren #lucien #nesta #elain #gwyneth berdara #emerie

[starbornsinger]

Elriel/Gwynriel/Elucien Theory Time :)

Ok so in regards to the Az POV chapter, I have some thoughts. This is super long and detailed and also tearing down ships, so uh, beware.

⚠️ACOSF spoilers (duh)⚠️

So I was re-reading the thing and as I was reading the conversation between Az and Rhys, it kind of hit me. I used to be an Elriel shipper until ACOSF, and I was really all for it.

But I don't think they're in love.

See, earlier in the chapter, Az is thinking about how jealous he is of the other couples. We know he isn't very lucky in love, and seeing Elain and her mate and their mating bond upsets him. I think he fancies Elain because she's beautiful and sweet, but I don't think he's in love with her. I think she's another thing he can't have, and he feels frustrated and it only makes him want her more. Because he thinks, why shouldn't he have her? Why is the Mother so cruel as to deny him love? And he thinks, "well all my other brothers have Archeron mates, why don't I? It must be a mistake!"

I think what Azriel's biggest issue is though, is that he wants love so bad, he's willing to risk it all for the first girl he feels attraction too. It also feels relevant that the primary thing we see in his POV is his physical attraction to her, his sexual attraction. We don't see much of how he thinks she's so sweet or so clever or so gentle, but instead how nice her tits are and how badly he wants to kiss and fuck her. I think he doesn't particularly want Elain, and while he likes her, I think what he really wants is love. True love, just like his brothers and friends. He thinks the Mother must be wrong because they both got Archeron sisters while he didn't, and his attraction to Elain makes him wish they were Mates so he could finally have that true love that's entirely his own.

But she's not. And he can't. I think what Azriel wants most isn't Elain. He wants her sexually, and he admires her and has a crush on her, but the thing he focuses on and gives him the most emotion is that she has a Mate and he doesn't, and that everyone does but him. I think he wants someone like Elain and wants to feel happy, but I think he doesn't exactly want Elain. When he thinks of her, he doesn't seem to be truly in love as we've seen other SJM couples are. And sure, it's early, but it's also been like— 2 years. I don't think they're in love sadly, I think Azriel just wants to move on from Mor and finally find love. He has a type, and when he found someone who loosely fit into the mold of his ideal partner, he jumped at it because he's desperate to have someone love him. All his life, he's struggled with self-love and love from others, and I think that it's deeply affected his relationship with love itself.

Physical attraction and desire and interest isn't love. And the idea of her being mated already only makes him mad— that of course the first girl he likes for the first time in 500 years, of course the girl that could help him move on from Mor, is mated. I think that only makes him feel more passionate towards her; and Rhys notes how he seems to think he has a claim to her, when he doesn't. It makes Az angry, not because Rhysand thinks he's being possessive and reckless, but because it's true. He genuinely can't have her.

As for Elain, I think she's far too hesitant to be with him. She reminds me of Daisy in The Great Gatsby, and how she claims to love Jay but she won't leave Tom, or jilt him. Now this is a different situation, because Daisy was selfish and didn't want to give up her comforts and stability and fame. Elain, on the other hand, doesn't seem ready to have a serious relationship with Az. I think she is still severely affected by Graysen's rejection, and is still clearly not over him. I don't think she's ready to accept Az fully and be with him, and I also don't think she's ready to reject her mating bond with Lucien.

I don't know 100% what's going on with Elain, but what I do know is that clearly she is intrigued by Lucien in some capacity. Ok Elriel shippers, don't come for me, but there are several scenes in which Elain seems to want to talk to Lucien, or whatever the heck. But also seems disinterested, like when she dismisses his Solstice gifts and doesn't speak to him.

However, I don't think she's resentful towards him exactly, or at least that isn't the main reason she's like this. While we know he was helping Tamlin lowkey, Feyre and the IC all understood he was on their side, and was their friend. So it seems kind of odd to still bear a grudge against him, but who knows.

But funnily enough, she has yet to reject their mating bond. If she's so disinterested, or hates him so much, why hasn't she turned him down? Mother, she's barely spoken to him at all. I think the obvious reason behind her disdain or distancing from Lucien is her connection to Graysen and her human life. Of all the sisters, Elain has not yet adapted to or accepted that she is Fae— or if she has, she's sure as hell not happy about it. Even Nesta in ACOSF mentioned how she actually likes her ears now, and we know Feyre has totally accepted being Fae. But with Elain, she had the most human connected life of them all, and to have it taken away from her is shitty.

For Elain, her happiness seems to come from a love of gardening, of family, of people. She has very little human things to hold onto, and adding a Mating bond to the mix right as she's made Fae is like she's had all her humanity stripped. She doesn't hate Lucien, she hates the bond. She dislikes that it's chained her to someone and taken away her choices, which we know is a big deal for the sisters after being imprisoned, kidnapped, and Made. I think Elriel is an infatuation, because even though she doesn't love Az, he's helping her rebound from Graysen (and giving her control and power over her love life). He's a choice she (can't really) make, but a choice nonetheless. With Lucien, she feels she has no choice with him, and no control over her obvious attraction I say obvious because mates have a primal attraction of some level to each other , and is probably afraid that accepting the Mating bond will remove any last connections she has to who she used to be, and the human she feels she really is.

But she also hasn't rejected it, because I think she realizes that Lucien is a genuine and kind and hot guy, and that rejecting him would be a stupid idea. He's been very patient and very kind and accepting, and has always given her the freedom of choice when it comes to the bond. I think Lucien is the kind of guy that would be very easy to fall in love with, and I think Elain sees that and knows it.

Also, I think with ACOSF, it feels relevant that Cassian pointed out specifically how Elain looked beautiful in black at the ball, but it looked horribly wrong on her. With SJM the devil is always in the details, and I think it was a clearly accentuated bit of symbolism. Although Elain looks beautiful, the black dress wasn't for her. And although Elriel is very sweet, it won't work out. She won't thrive in the Night Court, or with Azriel. Az doesn't challenge her or meet her as an equal (like all other SJM ships), and they don't push each other to be better or to accept themselves or whatever etc etc.

And I really used to like Elriel, but I think that surprisingly, Elain will be the one who says "stop, I can't do this" to Az. I think she knows she isn't ready, and I think she knows they aren't meant to be. Even if a Mating bond was put in place between her and Lucien, I still think their relationship wouldn't work because they're both too insecure, too closed off, too non-communicative, and too stagnant together to be a healthy or good match. I think with Elain they would struggle to understand each other even if they were fond of each other and can relate on some level, but at its rawest form I think they won't truly be able to be themselves with each other.

With Elain, Azriel's shadows— a key part of him— disappear. While I initially thought, awww that's so cute, she's a light in his life, I soon realized I was wrong. Az's shadows are not just a part of him, they're an extension of him, of his will and subconscious and emotions. So Elain chasing them away, while chasing away the shadows and darkness seems cute, isn't a good thing. Most of the time with shadows, we think "ew bad!" Because they have an inherent connotation of negativity or sorrow or depression or darkness etc etc. And while this is partially true, Azriel's shadows and darkness are a part of him. His sadness and struggles are a part of him. And his shadows aren't just representative of that, they're also a representation of how he overcame his abuse and turned that fire (pun unintended) and anger and trauma into something beautiful and powerful and a weapon. I think they can serve as an armor and a shield, and while that's not good, I also don't think they should fully disappear.

More on that: with Azriel's shadows, we know they're a part of him, right? So I think an important part of self is self-regulation. Rather than be consumed entirely by shadow, or totally exposed to the light, I think he just needs his shadows to be calm and present, but not controlling or hiding. I think the whole "Elain bringing him out of the shadows" bit sounds cute at first, but then you have to think of it like this. In order to be with Elain, he would have to change. He couldn't be a spy or a shadowsinger or a torturer, and he couldn't be dark and introverted. With her, he has to push that aside. Those are key parts of him, key parts that would have a big impact on their relationship. Elain can't be with someone with so much blood on their hands or a history of violence or darkness. We know that, because we know that sort of thing upsets her and she doesn't like it.

Azriel can't just be himself with her, he has to become someone else. And while he's attracted enough to not care, after awhile, that grows exhausting. Being in love and not being your true self, all of it, is exhausting. And while some might argue "why can't he be his true self?!" well my slime, I think we both know that even if we wanted him to, Elain would be silently resigned about it. I don't think— no, I know— Elain can't be with someone like Azriel. Even if they have feelings, even if they have lust or affection, it isn't love. They aren't in love, and they won't work out no matter how much we want it to.

Onto Elain: with Elain, this all ties back to what Cassian said in Hewn City. She looks beautiful in black, but it's wholly wrong for her. The Night Court is wrong for her, and darkness is wrong for her. While some yin-yang relationship tropes can work very well, I don't think this will. She doesn't like the darkness or accept it, and she doesn't want to be a part of it. I think the Night Court is good and happy for her when she makes her own little garden world, and only then, really. It's like living in the middle of the desert and only thinking of the beach: it's not the right place for her.

I think the Spring Court needs her, and I think she needs it. Here's more on that.

So we've seen the set up and execution of the fall of the Spring Court. We know that it's in shambles and is weak and needs a new/better leader than Tampon. I feel like SJM is setting things up for a new book focused in the Spring Court, because in a lot of ways, it's becoming the centerpiece for action in Prythian (aside from the Night Court). I genuinely believe that as Tamlin's second, Lucien will take over the Spring Court as High Lord. He doesn't fit in with Autumn, didn't fit in with Night, and wasn't really a part of Spring. But with Spring, it was where he was happy, where he felt safe, and the home he chose. Chosen homes and chosen families are a big deal for SJM, and I think that Lucien will return to the Spring Court to try and help it, because Mother knows it needs it. I think Elain belongs there, not only because she needs to be in an environment suited to her, but because she needs to heal.

We've seen a theme of helping others heal in order to heal ourselves, and I think a good book idea (and what I think an Elain book would be about), is healing the Spring Court and helping it. Elain is a gardener. She wants to see things grow and blossom, wants to get her hands dirty and dig in! But she can't do that in the NC. I think she needs something new and fresh and blossoming that she can help and tend to, and I think the person that can be at her side for that is Lucien. I think with Azriel, she can't see growth and life and flowers. He's a different kind of person, far too different, and the two wouldn't mesh well. Elain isn't like Persephone and Azriel isn't like Hades; although she's flowers and he's death and they're attracted to each other, they don't fully accept those roles and cross into each other's. Elain could never be a killer or someone who wears black or thrives in a darker place, and Azriel couldn't be someone who is in the full heat of the light and wear bright colors and be cheerful and flowery. In a dream world, yes, but I think in this one, no. SJM loves to create realistic relationships and realistic relationship conflict, and I think we'll see this here. Even though they want it to work, and in theory it should, it won't. I think they know it too. Azriel's shadows vanish when she's around, and Elain struggles to feel comfortable in the darkness and Night Court, and fit in with the others in the black dress that is wholly un-Elain.

I also think that this relationship doesn't bring development to the table. The forbidden love concept is adorable and a trope I love, but this love isn't one that will push them to grow. Azriel can feel loved and happy, but can he feel fully accepted? Can he stop being ashamed of his shadows, of his violence? Of who he is? Can Elain break out of her shelf and be more assertive, and truly grow and change? Can she be herself and be happy? The answer is a sad no. Their relationship is sweet and cute, but it won't truly work. I genuinely believe Lucien is a better match for Elain, and while the Cauldron isn't always right (like Rhysand's parents), it usually is. If he isn't, then I'm all for independent Elain.

Now onto the moment you've all been waiting for: who should Az be with?

Gwyn. :)

#acosf spoilers #gwynriel #a court of silver flames #elriel #elucien #gwyn berdara #gwyn x azriel #azriel #acotar #acotar theory #acotar thoughts #acosf

[unhealthyfanobsession]

Loving the Nessian Lawyer AU fic!! That Nesta is an Armani girl? Yesssss --just *chef's kiss* 💋 Here's a prompt for you if you please: canon-verse jealous!nessian. Cassian arrives late to an evening event at the Summer Court high lord meeting. Nesta's wearing a black gown. Only as she walks he notices the mid-thigh high slit 👀👀

Oh you KNOW I love a jealous Cassian. I took some liberties with the dress because by Prythian standards I just wasn’t sure a thigh slit would cut it ;)I also gave Nesta some new power because she deserves it!!

Keep the requests coming guys I’m having so much fun!!

The death of Beron Vanserra, as it turned out, was the birth of peace among the courts of Prythian.

Tamlin was still a jackass, but not powerful enough to actually ever take a stand or reject peace.

So the courts banded together. An impenetrable alliance of forces that the continent nations wouldn’t dare March on. And to uphold that agreement, this is what they did now. Once a year they had a summit. The hosting Court rotated and this was the first year it was being held in Summer. Rhys joked that he had to make a special appeal for Cassian to be allowed back in Tarquin’s court after the infamous building incident.

Whatever.

It wasn’t even that big of a building. Tarquin could be so dramatic.

Anyway, the point was that Beron’s death had been a very good thing for everyone. But that still didn’t mean Cassian liked having to sit in a room with Tamlin and Eris Vanserra. Alone.

Ok not alone. But… basically alone. Mor had abandoned him the second they walked in and she was giggling with Vivianne on the other end of the room. Rhys and Feyre were trying to nail down an agreement with Thesan to import some of his Faebane stopping powder.

Azriel wasn’t there at all because he and Gwyn were on some insane spy mission in Vallahan that had to coincide with this summit because that was when all the other territories relaxed. Got lazy and assumed there was no threat from Prythian.

But, you might be asking yourself, Cassian still shouldn’t be alone here, right? He had a mate. A beautiful, powerful, mother communing, force of nature of a mate.

Who was, for all of those stunning qualities that made him love her, a very in demand woman.

Right now she was working with Helion. She’d been gone more than a week. And a week the month before that. And the month before that. And they should be done now. Should be ready to present to the group this new spell that they were creating.

A protection spell. Nesta and Helion were creating a spell. Like gods of magic. Not ingrained, learned, trained, magic. They were creating magic. Spells.

She was a witch. Cassian smirked at the thought. A beautiful, brilliant, witch goddess.

And she was his.

So why did Eris scuff the legs of his chair and sit up three inches straighter when she walked into the room.

And why did Helion have his hand on the small of her back as he lead her into the room.

Gods, she was beautiful. A streak of devastating black silk in the sea of the white-clad Day courtiers.

Her hair, brighter than when she left, more gold from the hours he knew she spent in Helion’s sun-drenched library, was braided up in its usual style.

The dress had a collar that molded around her neck and then dipped into a sweat heart neckline just at the base of her throat. Long sleeved and floor length.

Devastating.

And then she took a step forward.

The left side of the dress split open to reveal a shock of creamy white skin that looked like porcelain against the dark fabric. Cassian took a hard breath in when she moved again. The slit went up to her hip. Not her thigh. Her fucking hip.

Nope.

“Control yourself,” Cassian growled in reaction to the scent that was leaching off of Eris as the High Lord of Autumn stared at his mate.

Cassian flew out of his chair. Making it across the room in three long strides and carefully pulling his mate from out of Helion’s grasp.

“Hello, Nes.” Cassian murmured in her ear, pressed a kiss to her temple, and subtly, wrapped his wing around the left side of her body to cover up the slit.

Not subtle enough, however, as Nesta simply smirked in response and ran her finger down the membrane until his wing, and the rest of his body, trembled. “I’ve missed you.”

“Gods I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, General.” Helion smirked, sidling up right beside Nesta.

“I assume I have you to thank for this dress,” Cassian narrowed his eyes.

“Your mate is a brilliant, incredible, extraordinary female.” Helion winked, “But I still like having pretty things to look at while we work.”

“Call me a pretty thing one more time and I’ll blast you with the offensive spell I’m going to work on next.”

Helion smiled, “Oh how I love that fire. Don’t get all growly with me, General. I’d never think to steal her away into my bed. Without you, that is.”

“In your dreams.” Cassian’s body was vibrating, but he knew Helion was just being Helion. And he didn’t deserve the jealous rage storming through Cassian to be unleashed on him.

Cassian took Nesta’s hand and brought her to their seats.

“Wait,” Cassian raised an eyebrow. “You need a High Lord to develop spells. Your connection to the Mother and their connection to the Court comes together to make the spells. Balance, you said.”

“You remembered, A+ my love.”

“No. I mean… an offensive spell. Are you working with Rhys?”

“No,” Nesta smirked.

“But that kind of magic only comes from Night, Winter, and-“

“I’ll be sure to control myself, while she’s a guest of Autumn, Brute.” Eris had never looked so smug in his life. And that was a high bar.

“I do hope it’s Lucien.” Cassian said, deathly calm.

“What?”

“The brother who the magic chooses to be High Lord after I fucking murder you.” Cassian shrugged, “I hope it’s Lucien.”

Me at that last line:

SJM, Apparently, for no reason:

#nessian #drabbles open #nessian fanfiction #nesta archeron #acosf #eris vanserra #helion #gwynriel #cassian #nesta and cassian #a court of thorns and roses #sarah j maas #a court of silver flames #a court of mist and fury #acotar

[bookofmirth]

Hello! This is a bit different from your usual gwynriel/elucien asks, so I hope you don’t mind, but it’s something that’s been bothering me lately and I wonder if anyone else has noticed.

I’m not sure if it’s because if the upsurge in popularity of acotar on tiktok/twitter with a younger audience reading it, or if I’ve just been lucky and not noticed it before, but I’ve seen so many Tamlin stans coming out of the woodwork and it honestly bothers me.

I definitely do agree that Tamlin is a complex character and of course, it’s fine that people are interested in him (I really don’t care about him, but to each their own)! But lately there have been so many people in the fandom arguing that he’s a victim of PTSD who deserves better, often villainizing Feyre/Lucien because of this.

I‘ve seen takes that Feyre was gaslighting Tamlin when she told him she was happy with Rhys because Rhys still had the whole night court persona going on?? And that Lucien and Feyre were a horrible support system because they wouldn’t stand up to him (completely ignoring that when they did Tamlin … ya know … physically hurt both of them)? And that somehow Feyre spying in the Spring Court in ACOWAR was also abusive and manipulative towards Tamlin?

I just genuinely don’t understand where all of this is coming from. I try to be critical of SJM’s writing because I understand that it can be flawed, especially since I have problems with how Feysand was written after ACOWAR, Azriel’s issues with women, the IC’s treatment of Nesta, etc. But I just can’t seem to get behind these interpretations and I’m not sure if I’m just missing something (or ‘biased’ by Feyre’s POV as some claim).

Wooooooo boy, so I didn't know that this was a thing happening but lemme break down how wrong these people are with some of these arguments! This is going to get long.

(I definitely don't mind, I appreciate any ask that's not just about ship wars!)

So I'm going to lay out the claims people are making and talk about them one at a time.

Tamlin has PTSD:

Probably yes. In the beginning of acomaf, Feyre mentions that he has trouble sleeping, just like she does, and I believe he gets up at night, and this is when their relationship really deteriorates. I can't say for sure what he was experiencing, but it seems like he had a lot of anxiety and fears left over from Amarantha and watching Feyre die. The things he was experiencing emotionally are 1000% understandable and valid, even if it wasn't diagnosable PTSD.

But you know who else likely has PTSD? Lucien and Feyre.

Say it with me everyone: emotions do not always justify behaviors.

Feyre is gaslighting Tamlin:

Hell fucking no.

People need to learn what gaslighting is. Gaslighting is not just "lying". Gaslighting is not "disagreeing". Gaslighting is a very specific tactic used to make someone question their memory, their reality, to twist the truth.

Rhys definitely had a persona. That was a calculated decision. But when Feyre tells Tamlin that she is happy, she is not lying at all. Her telling Tamlin that she is happy has nothing to do with whatever lies or manipulations that Rhys did in the past. Why? Because even if Rhys was a super asshole dark dude, Feyre saying she is happy with him is still the truth. Feyre isn't lying, let alone gaslighting Tamlin, that idea is completely laughable.

The only way that people could say that Feyre is gaslighting Tamlin is to say that she is responsible for Rhysand's Dark persona, that she is the one who created it with the intention of making people question what they thought was true. Which she isn't. That isn't even the reason that Rhys created the persona. He created it to obscure the truth in the first place.

And even his persona isn't gaslighting? He isn't trying to make people question their reality. He isn't trying to make people question themselves. He is trying to make himself look scary. And so when he drops that persona, he is telling the truth. He isn't gaslighting people, he is saying "hey I wasn't being honest before but now I am".

And i think that's a big, big difference that people are failing to understand. Gaslighting is about trying to change other people's reality. Rhys's persona was about him. Feyre saying she was happy was about her. Neither of those things were about trying to make people feel like they were crazy.

So there has to be this reality. Let's say Rhys was spotted being menacing. Person A is like "hey, you look scary!" And he's like "noice, my evil plan is working." Then later on Rhys is like "hey you know what, I wasn't being honest before, I'm actually a Super Cool Dude." Person A might be confused for a minute because what they thought was true wasn't true, but they'll get there.

If it were gaslighting, on the other hand, it would go more like: Rhys: *is nice*. Person A: "hey, I thought you were scary though?" Rhys: "nah, that was my good twin, Rhysnaldo. I've never been nice a day in my life. You must be confused." Person A: *questioning everything they thought they just witnessed".

So yeah anyway, people gotta stop using that term if they don't know what it means.

Feyre manipulating Tamlin:

Personally, I agree with the argument that she manipulated Tamlin in the beginning of acowar. I don't think that's even a matter of interpretation, she went to Spring with the intention of burning shit down.

Feyre was not abusive towards Tamlin. She knew his weaknesses and exploited them. I don't care that she did that to him, I think that she deserved a bit of vengeance. However, personally I cannot stand the fact that in doing so she caused a lot of collateral damage and did not gaf. Deal with your abusive ex however you need to, Feyre. Don't knowingly, intentionally bring harm to other people in doing so.

Feyre and Lucien failing as a support system:

NO.

Feyre literally saved Tamlin's life by killing and dying for him. Lucien was also tortured by Amarantha because of Tamlin. Neither of them broke and betrayed him. They were incredibly loyal to him throughout acotar. Even now, when Lucien is being emotionally and physically abused by Tamlin, Lucien is still trying to work with him, make sure he is fed, make sure he doesn't completely lose his humanity fae-ness. Lucien is the only reason that the Spring Court hasn't completely collapsed while Tamlin wallows in his beasty feelings.

Any time that either Feyre or Lucien try to stand up to Tamlin, he gets manipulative and abusive. He emotionally manipulates Feyre into feeling guilty for wanting to be able to defend herself. He emotionally abuses Feyre by making her afraid of his anger and afraid of how he will react to anything that she says or does. He glares or shouts down anything the Lucien says.

Also, Tamlin is a High Lord! They can only do so much when it comes to standing up to him.

For real, Feyre and Lucien did literally everything that they possibly could in order to try to support Tamlin, and much of that was to their own detriment. In trying to support Tamlin, they got emotional and physical abuse in return. So no, fuck that. Being supportive does not mean we have to put up with abuse.

Being biased in Feyre's favor:

We are not biased by Feyre's POV in the sense that she is trying to mislead the reader, but we are limited by her POV because she doesn't know everything. She tells us the truth as she knows it. That is very different from a narrator who is intentionally trying to hide things or lie or mislead.

But even if we were biased by Feyre's POV, so fucking what??? Is it so wrong to take the side of a victim of abuse? Why do we need to try so hard to understand Tamlin's side? People can do that, of course, I have myself, especially later on in the story. In acofas I started to feel sorry for him. I've been mad at how Rhys treated him in acofas. But the idea of being biased in Feyre's favor means that we would have to question her, in some way, when she recounts the story of her abuse. That's disgusting, to me. What reason do we have to think she isn't telling her story truthfully?

We might naturally have more empathy towards Feyre because we heard the story from her POV, but again - why is that a bad thing? To hear a story from the victim of abuse and feel empathy for them??? Call me crazy but that's not a problem. I'm going to empathize with Feyre, and I'm going to believe Mor (and Rhys, and Lucien). The end.

A final word

Just something you said in the last paragraph struck me, in regards to Azriel's view of women and how the IC treats Nesta: those are not thing to criticize in sjm's writing, I think. Just because Tamlin is abusive doesn't mean that sjm shouldn't have written him that way, ya know? If there are inconsistencies in characterization or a lack of understanding of abusive dynamics or alcohol abuse or something like that, those are things we can criticize in her writing. But characters do uncomfy things, that's supposed to happen.

What I'm trying to say is that there is a difference between criticizing a character's actions, and criticizing the way they have been written. Pretty much everything above falls under the realm of "analyzing a character or story", not criticizing the author.

#acotar #acosf #feyre #tamlin #lucien #ask #anon

[emeraldvagabond]

The title of “High Lady” is meaningless also because of the the fact that Feyre started being High lady and then had a kid like a year or less after. Not saying the any female political leaders can’t have kids but I don’t think that it’s a stretch to say that political leaders—men or women—don’t have a lot of time to raise a new born baby without hired help. Their busy leading a country. Sarah J makes a point in a acowar and acofas to write Rhysand going on meetings and actually doing high lord stuff. I noticed that when he’s not on page, he’s usually busy doing something (they’re mostly one-liners with no further explanation or it’s mentioned in passing, but I noticed that Sarah says Rhysand is usually in some type of non-specific meeting to explain him being absent from specific scenes.)

But in Acosf, where the narrative doesn’t require Feyre to be present all the time, sarah doesn’t do this with Feyre. Why isn’t Feyre going to these meetings with Rhysand throughout acowar, acofas, and acosf? Why doesn’t she go with him to check up on the Illyrian camps, or help plot alliances and figure out peace (outside of the walls of her new home cause the only time we see her actually talking about important stuff after acowar with the rest of the characters is when it’s already a casual meeting inside one of her 5 houses where she would’ve been even if the meeting was taking place without her.) the only time she takes initiative in being apart of diplomatic/political affairs and conversations is at the CoN AND EVEN THEN, shes just a trophy for Rhysand to show off and she doesn’t have much say/knowledge about what’s actually being discussed in those moments. She does very little talking in those scenes (The first example I think about it that one scene in WAR where Rhys went behind all their backs and made a deal with Eris + Keir. Even Feyre didn’t know anything about Rhys’s plan)

Why does she have time to teach art classes and raise a child if BOTH her and Rhysand are supposedly busy being high lord and High lady. I guess people could say that the others will help out with Nyx but Cassian is busy being a general. Az is a spy and is usually off doing that. Mor wasn’t even in the NC for the majority of SF. I doubt that they’d be willing to hire a 24/7, live-in nanny. Nesta and Elain have their own internal problems to deal with so I don’t think it’d be fair of Feyre to just expect them to help non-stop. It’s ridiculously dumb to think that Feyre is even close to being Rhysand’s (or any other high lords) political equal. Makes me roll my eyes everytime people think that Feyre being a High Lady makes her a powerful female characters. It literally means nothing.

You're right and you should say it. Title ≠ power. He gives her the title, gifts it to her on their wedding night. Thereby gifting her a political place. Except she doesn't ever use it, because she's never given a chance. Feyre says all through the second book that her biggest fear is becoming the Spring Courts Lady, Tamlins trophy, but then she gets this title from Rhysand and goes "yes my life is complete time to fulfill my duty of bearing children"

And i get that people can change their minds. I understand that- i get that sometimes "not wanting" children means not wanting them with a specific person. Or under specific circumstances. But this distaste for children stems from a fear of becoming a prize for Tamlin to show off, instead of his wife and lady, and mother of his children. That is practically written in the second book. SJM is not known for her ability to show in her writing.

But then she gets with Rhys and becomes....exactly that. She does nothing but sit pretty in those crowns he gives her, but because he's given her a title that hold inexplicable weight but never expects the responsibility of it...she thinks she made it.

Now, as Lady of the Spring Court, I imagine her responsibilities would be a little more complicated than she was making them out to be in the first book. She's worrying about embroidering pillows and making guest lists...but realistically she would take care of the house, direct servants, host parties, and charities(which would be needed after the return from UtM...Tamlin's people had suffered non-stop loss for 50 years.) Rearing young animals, keeping tabs of the finances alongside Tamlin, spending time in the villages among the people checking on their work but also sharing in their joys and plights, giving when people are struggling, providing comfort and amends and companionship, she would have been expected to study the laws and their history, traditions of the Spring Court and where they came from and why they are upheld. She would be expected to learn about the land of the court itself, would have been in charge of staffing and overseeing the workers, including servants and guards and everything in between, she would have had her own orchards or livestock for when the trading became slow, she would have, alongside women that she had chosen, tend the gardens and help in the harvest, make clothes and other things for her staff and people. And that would have only been the surface of her duties as the Lady of the Court.

But, she's worried about embroidering pillows BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO READ, and yet she expects this title of ruler to be handed to her. Read that again. She does not know how to read and she wants complete political power.

When she does become Rhysand's Highlady....she....literally doesn't do anything. Nesta did more in their estate that was gifted to them by Tamlin, where she isn't in charge of whole lands, than Feyre ever does while being Highlady. Feyre stays in Rhysand's bed, or on his lap, or silently at his side. She doesn't attend meetings, she doesn't learn the people she's now ruler of, she doesn't know the laws or the history of the place. She doesn't even bother to learn. She is literally nothing more than a pretty consolation prize for Rhysand, and she never even realizes it....because he's just that good at manipulation, I suppose.

Sigh.

And you, again, are absolutely right about being unable to do the things that she wasn't doing anyway with a newborn. Either she will have to be reduced to even less than she is now, or she will expect it of her sisters.

Honestly, at this point, all Rhysand did was move her from one "cage" into the next. This ones just gilded because he miraculously shows no signs of trauma despite being ✨the most traumatized character of alllll✨

#logically. no. this isn't something you are capable of doing right now. #anti sjm #anti rhysand #tamlin #spring court #night court #every time i write about feyre im just like........damn this bitch is really being abused and played huh? #but also she is so entitled #to think she DESERVES to b highlady bc.....Tams in love w her? #Arguably NOT making her highlady shows how good of a ruler he is #he can remove his emotion from the situation and say #THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT #which is why i dont understand how he conveniently cant regulate his emotion when sarah needs him to b abusive #BC we see ALL throughout the books that the IC is absolutely INCAPABLE of separating their feelings from the way they rule. #that is not a good way to rule #yes people in charge should be REAL and have feelings etc and no they wont always be able to separate that from every decision they make #but...the IC quite literally never does #but thats another discussion #asks

[fantasyfangirling4ever]

My Sarah J Maas and ACOSF thoughts:

Okay this stuff has been swirling round in my head so I’m going to post this and be done with it.

-I’m not a Maas anti but I also don’t ‘stan’ anyone- Maas’s books have been my obsession since I was TWELVE and the fandom was like three pieces of fan art in google images of Celeana and Chaol. But at the same time as I’ve grown up I have been let down by her books in some way.

-first of all she is an extremely talented author: her writing, plotting and character building is phenomenal and never fails.

-She seems like a lovely woman with a lovely family and she also seems to be under a lot of stress from all her book deadlines and I hope that either the pressure from fans like us or the pressure from her publishing company relaxes and she feels less stress because after everything she’s achieved she shouldn’t be living under that much pressure.

-However: I don’t like the way she treats relationships between men and women or how she discusses sex in her books, especially with regards to women, or how she deals with mental health and especially where romance and mental health cross. I think the stories she creates can be heteronormative and sexist.

- her books always end with the girl marrying the guy and being ready to settle down and have kids (usually after loosing some or a lot of her powers). The end of her series feel like a swarm of heterosexuals all throwing on wedding rings and getting ready to push out babies. But this is what she likes writing and the fact that I don’t like reading it particularly didn’t make it ‘problematic’ or make her deserving of any hate.

- The men are always literally hundreds of years older which is just wierd to me and I don’t enjoy reading. And it keeps being repeated and the age gap just keeps getting bigger -from 300 with Rowaelin to 500 with Feysand and now 800 with Hunt and Bryce (if I’m not wrong).

- I think these problems really come out in the ACOTAR series more than ToG since ACOTAR seems more like romance novels set in a fantasy world whilst ToG was very high fantasy inspired and driven. I think a lot of her fans come for a strong fantasy book with a good side of romance and so the ACOTAR stories can grate a bit with some.

Some of the things that stick out to me are:

- Mor is supposed to be this goddess of war whereas Azriel’s main job is spying etc and yet during the war in ACOWAR Mor babysat feyre by the sidelines. reading about two women standing on a hill clutching their pearls and watching the big men fight made me really uncomfortable. Now before you type ‘but feyre wasn’t skilled enough yet or ......’ remember that Maas wrote this entire series- she could have changed it so that the women had more power, skill and ability or so that this weird sequence of battle scene spectation just wasn’t a thing.

- I knew that Nesta was going to help Feyre give birth (I thought using her powers not giving them up) however it was a beautiful moment and made sense character wise and structurally. But you can’t get mad at readers for being upset that they are reading this supposedly kick ass fantasy book where the ending is the main woman giving up all her phenomenal powers and changing her body to be able to have a guy’s babies- it is something that will be hard to read for a lot of readers who were hoping for a more female empowering story or people like me who just don’t like that plot line. I think in twenty years people will read ACOSF and definetly cringe at how women are presented and their stories are told. But the same can be said of Tolkien and I still enjoy his books.

- I got very upset during ACOSF when I was reading the bits about Nesta and Amren. I thought that Nesta had tried to sleep with Varian or slept with Tamlin when I first read about their fight but she just didn’t want to practise magic?? Amren called Nesta a ‘pathetic waste of life’ and their argument ended with Nesta on her KNEES APOLOGIZING . And I definetly thought Cassian saying he was ‘shackled’ to Nesta was going to be a bigger deal than it was- instead she felt guilty for using their deal to ask for space??? It felt like reading a story of a woman who in order to be loved has to learn to take being maltreated passively and become submissive in order to be accepted and it made me uncomfortable.

- in ToG I know a lot of people, myself included, didn’t like the way Aedion talked about Lysandra in his POV talking about his ‘last hunt’ etc and in Cresent City I got really annoyed when in response to Hunt discovering Bryce had once come close to committing suicide Fury said basically ‘she was a zombie and you saved her and woke her up’ I didn’t like romance being presented as the solution to depression and trauma and I think it is a common theme in Maas’s books.

- I don’t hate Maas for these things- in her books she explores intimately very senstive and complicated issues about mental health, self worth and relationships and since we’re two different people of course I’m not going to like how all these topics are dealt with etc. This is the problem with such emotional and complex media- the fact that I didn’t like it doesn’t mean it was trash or that I’m right - it just is what it is and no amount of typing on tumblr is going to change it. But I just wanted fans who were also uncomfortable with aspects of her story telling to feel less alone and since there’s all this cat fighting in the fandom (which I am not exempt from) I just wanted to say that you can enjoy content whilst still acknowledging it’s faults and flaws and where it portrays things in an unhealthy light. It’s okay to have problems with the series and it’s okay to not- it doesn’t have to be a fight it can just be a frank discussion.

- I also just wanted to say that I am obsessed with the Valkyries, the relationship between those three women was beautiful and powerful and exactly what I like to see in books marketed for women- solidarity and friendship and kicking ass at the forefront. I loved Nesta’s powers and her ability to Make those weapons and I love how she’s becoming a complete unstoppable warrior.

#sarah j maas #heir of fire #queen of shadows #throne of glass #crown of midnight #empire of storms #kingdom of ash #acosf #acosf spoilers #ACOTAR #acowar #acomaf #a court of thornes and roses #a court of silver flames #a court of frost and starlight #a court of wings and ruin #a court of mist and fury #Nesta #nessian #cassian #nesta x Cassian #gwyn acosf #gwynriel #nesta archeon

[realmrealityy]

Lucien/Vassa/Jurian

You could come live here, is all I’m saying,” I pushed. “Truly live here, stay in Velaris for longer than a few days at a time. We could get you nicer quarters—”

Lucien got to his feet. “I don’t need your charity.”

I rose as well. “But Jurian and Vassa’s is fine?”

“You’d be surprised to see how the three of us get along.”

Friends, I realized. They had somehow become his friends. “So you’d rather stay with them?”

“I’m not staying with them. The manor is ours.”

Okay so I can’t be the only one who is extremely curious about Lucien, Vassa, and Jurian’s relationship with each other.

Lucien is one of my favorite ACOTAR characters so maybe I’m just being bias but I would LOVE to get a peak about how the three of them interact and play house together.

From what we know about Vassa so far is that she’s one tough cookie so I personally am just imagining her throwing sarcasm at Lucien and Jurian all day long while they both try to stay on her good side lol.

I also imagine that there is a lot of drinking going on in that household and stupid board games. (Jurian wins everytime)

I mean come on, they even have a name for their group (Band Of Exiles) I NEED to know how and when they came up with that.

I feel like emotionally they’re all very complex with different underlying issues as well and that that could be highly interesting to read about how they all relate to each other and confide in one another.

I also think that Lucien (and possibly Jurian as well) has felt alone in a particular way for a long time. I know that he had Tamlin but we never really got to read much backstory on how deep that friendship was besides Tamlin taking him in after the incident at Autumn Court. If Tamlin really thought that Lucien would be romantically involved with Feyre behind his back during Feyre’s whole “mAsTeR sPY pReForMAnCE” than the friendship obviously wasn’t that deep or trusting. Also Tamlin basically kicked Lucien out.

I know a lot of people have been talking about the possibility of Azriel/Elain/Lucien as canon in future books but in my opinion I think that Jurian/Vassa/Lucien would be a lot more interesting. It would also be slightly more tragic because of Vassa and Jurians mortality but if Sarah J Mass is good at anything, it’s finding loop holes.

Even if the idea of those three being romantically involved doesn’t appeal to some, I still think it’d be really cool to at least have a few chapters in Luciens perspective about how they all live together as friends. I also really just want to know more about Jurian and Vassa’s characters in general.

I know this post was sort of all over the place and for that I apologize 😂 but I can’t say I’ve really found anyone else talking too much about these three so I wanted to get my thoughts out there!

#acotar #acofas #acomaf #acowar #night court #lucien vanserra #vassa #feyre archeron #sarahjmass #sarah j maas #a court of thorns and roses #autumn court #jurian

[darling-archeron]

Beneath the Dark - Chapter One

What would have happened if Feyre had come to Prythian much earlier? Feyre Archeron has left her mortal life behind, and accepted being demi-fae. She has found her place in the Night Court's Inner Circle. But when her and Rhys attend a ball hosted by Amarantha Under the Mountain, they are in for much for then they bargained for.

Masterlist

Two years later

What are you scheming now, Rhys?” Feyre asked, sneaking up behind me on soft feet and peering over my shoulder.

“I’m not scheming - I’m plotting, darling,” I replied smoothly, folding the paper I held.

Feyre rolled her eyes, walking over to face me. “Semantics. What’s on the paper?”

I feigned a dramatic sigh and handed over the stiff parchment, watching her eyes move slowly across the page as she sounded out words she didn’t know well. “General Amarantha of Hybern requests the presence of The High Lord of the Night Court this evening Under the Mountain, for a night of revelry and celebration. The half-moon offers us peace to rejoice in our newly formed alliances.”

I couldn’t help but snort at the last part. Honoring moon cycles was a completely Prythian tradition, and one that only some courts upheld. The half-moon wasn’t generally seen as a symbol of peace, but it was interesting that Amarantha would try to pass herself off as knowledgeable about Prythian’s culture.

Feyre paused, raising her eyebrows at me. “The theme of the evening will be a masquerade, to honor High Lord Tamlin’s shapeshifting gift.” Again, phony pleasantness. The ball was likely to ‘apologize’ for tearing out Lucien’s eyeball and sending him back to Tamlin screaming in agony.

The letter went on about honoring alliances, how the first shipments of goods had arrived on Prythian’s shores. We would dine on Hybern’s fine wine tonight. Feyre disdainfully tossed the letter back on the mahogany table. “I thought Amarantha had moved on from trying to forge alliances with Night.”

I shook my head. “No. Amarantha has always had a penchant for cruelty, and she quite delighted in Hewn City. She’s been biding her time by charming Beron in Autumn, but I have no doubt she would take great pleasure in the chance to learn our secrets.”

“Are the other courts still going forward with their trading deals?”

“Yes. All of them except Tamlin, that is. Most of the other High Lords were alive during the war, even if they were very young. I had hoped they would realize she’s still a snake. But they’ve all been fooled by her apparent ‘desire for retribution.’ They’ve forgotten how she slaughtered the humans they fought so hard to protect.” Feyre shook her head in disgust at my words.

“Tamlin must have really pissed off Amarantha for her to go after Lucien. It’s the most violent she’s been since landing on our shores.” Feyre clenched her jaw, air hissing through her teeth at the thought of Amarantha hurting Lucien. Despite everything – she still cared for him.

“I think she has a thing for eyes, quite honestly. During the war, I saw her tear out the eyeball of Jurian, and do far worse things to those who displeased her.”

“Are you going?” She asked.

“I wouldn’t bother – it’ll be an evening of scheming courtiers that I have little patience for.” No matter that I would don a mask that would make me worse than them. “But the evening provides an excellent chance at figuring out her – and Hybern’s – true motivations.”

“You don’t think she wants peace and trade.” Not a question.

“Not for a moment. Amarantha’s been angry ever since the War. Some say that she’s harbored a vengeance deeper than Hybern himself. I have no doubt that any sham of an alliance we made with her will only go poorly for us. Even Azriel’s best spies haven’t come up with any useful information. Which is why this meeting provides an opportunity to get past her mental shields and make her confess her crimes in front of all of Prythian. Both of us will be attending.” Even though I hated the idea of bringing her before Amarantha…but Feyre could take care of herself.  I leaned on the side of the table as she considered.

“Killing her could lead to war.” Feyre pointed out, even though I hadn’t mentioned murder. But Feyre knew me well.

“I know. I’m prepared.” I didn’t elaborate on exactly how much thought I had put into this.

“Are the others joining us?”

“No. If she was using this night to plan an invasion, that’s what she would hope for. I have no intention of leaving the Court vulnerable to attack. Besides, they wouldn’t be my expected entourage anyway. We’re going to have to stomach the Court of Nightmares for the evening.”

Feyre let out an exaggerated sigh, plopping herself down on an armchair. “Bring Nuala and Cerridwen too. They won’t be out of place as your handmaidens, and they’ll be able to spy.”

I felt a rush of pride at her cunning. She had changed so much in the past six months since coming to Night. My strong, beautiful mate.

“An excellent suggestion, and one I will be sure to carry out, darling.”

“So, you’ll be acting as the Almighty High Lord tonight. What about me?”

I gave her a crooked smile. “That’s up to you. I’ll need you to help to keep me anchored when I am in Amarantha’s mind. If one’s shields are thick enough you can become lost or entrapped in their mind – even someone as powerful as myself. You’ll also be in charge of making sure she doesn’t notice anything amiss, keeping her distracted if need be.”

She nodded. “And after that?”

There was no surprise in Feyre’s eyes, only understanding, and ferocity as I told her the rest of my plan, what I would need her to do.

“We leave at eight. Nuala and Cerridwen have been shopping and found a few possible dresses for the occasion. I took the liberty of picking out a mask for you myself.”

“I certainly hope you picked out one beautiful enough to charm everyone.” She said, humor in her voice.

“Ah, but your own face can do that well enough on its own.”

She looked at me in amusement, tossing her shining hair as she stood. “Flirt. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Striding away on soft feet, my mate exited the room as silently as she had come.

Mate.

My mate.

If only I had the courage to tell her.

The mask Rhys had sent up to my room was made of swirling black lace, the sides of the mask swooping up to form the wings of a bat. At the center, the bat’s head was formed. Little silver gems lined the edges. It was utterly perfect, and I planned the rest of my outfit around it.

The dress itself felt unlike anything I had ever worn. Even after I had left Spring, I had stayed on the more conservative side of Night Court attire. Though it had been a relief to return to the ordinary comfort of pants.

The bodice was covered in woven strands of black lace with ornate, shimmery black detailing covering parts of my chest, arms, and stomach. The neckline, wide at the top, slimmed down to a vee that showed a mere sliver of skin a few inches above my bellybutton. The flowing black skirt sported a single high slit.

Small, ornate braids twined in my hair – Nuala’s work - while the rest flowed freely down my back. I had let her apply red lipstick and eye makeup to complete the look, but the finishing touch was the lapis lazuli diadem she had placed on my head. I truly looked the part of a formidable ambassador of Night.

I looked at the clock. Twenty minutes until I was due to meet Rhys. I sank down into the chair by the window that gave me a perfect view of Velaris, careful not to wrinkle the gown. Outside, the daytime activities were wrapping up as the sun began to sink lower into the horizon. Mothers called their children in for supper, workers hurried home. I could hear the faint sound of a lute a few blocks away.

I wondered what the fae mother who had abandoned me so long ago would say about me now. If she had known even as she abandoned my unsuspecting, mortal father what I was to become. Nesta and Elain would have certainly been shocked. Their outcast, unwanted half-sister, lounging in Prythian’s most feared court.

Perhaps one day, I would return to the human lands, try to reconcile with my sisters. But not now. Of course, I wouldn’t be able to put it off forever. Far too soon they would wither with age while I remained young and immortal.

I would do it, I vowed. Just not today. Standing, I took last one look at my form in the mirror and strode down the staircase.  Rhys was waiting, hands tucked into his pockets. I watched him as his eyes traveled up my form – something like desire hidden in their depths. “You look absolutely delicious, darling. I fear the other courts may fall to their knees at the sight of you.”

I raised my brows. “Someone, it seems, has good taste.”

“I knew you’d like the mask.”

“I was referring to Cerridwen’s suggestion of the dress, actually.”

“You wound me, Feyre.” He sighed theatrically.

I smiled a bit. “You seem to be keeping your look on brand. But no mask?” Indeed, he was dressed in black pants and an elaborate black tunic laced with silver thread, his favored crown of ravens’ feathers on his head. His face, however, remained bare.

He twitched his fingers, a mask appearing in his hand. “I thought I’d give you one last look at my face before I covered it up.”

I snorted as he twirled the mask between his fingers, brandishing it before he placed it on his face. It was black, with detailing of the same coloring etched over top.

Between the crown and the mask, he truly looked like the Lord of Nightmares, though I knew better as he held out his arm for me.

Taking it, I breathed in the scent of Velaris one last time before Rhys winnowed us away.

I clung tightly to his arm as we traveled to the fabric of the universe, stopping first at Hewn City. Around forty fae waited, looking vaguely unnerved by the sight of their High Lord. I made eye contact with a few, giving them a serpentine smile as I walked past. Most appeared to be nobles, but there were a few guards and lesser fae thrown in the bunch as well. “No Kier tonight?” I asked down our bond. Rhys’s shields were enforced more than usual tonight, not even a crack left open.

 “No. He’s throwing a tantrum about it, but he’ll only stir up trouble if he comes with us.”

Rhys glared out over the wicked courtiers he ruled over. “I expect you all to be on good behavior tonight unless someone would like themselves to find themselves missing an appendage.”   He paused for a beat before winnowing away, leaving everyone else – including myself, to follow suit. Various fae held onto each other – clearly, not everyone could winnow. Luckily, I wasn’t included in that count as I vanished, pushing through the void to reach my destination. I hadn’t winnowed this far by myself before, and by the time I arrived at the gates of the Mountain, I found myself out of breath. Rhys was already there, giving me a wink a hairsbreadth of a second before the Nightmare Court began to winnow in. Turning around with a flourish, he led us into the base of the Mountain. I walked a few steps behind him with a few other nobles as we had planned.

I had never been to the meeting place of the High Lords, but I could see why it was the only place they could all meet without being too crowded or threatening to destroy something. The mountain was huge – bigger than any of the Steppes.

Though the entrance had been filled with ornate carvings, the majority of the Mountain’s walls were disappointingly bare, my artist’s eyes noted.

Down we descended, following the bright torches as they led us into the mountain’s heart. Soon, the passageway led to a set of towering doors. Upon Rhysand’s arrival, two red-skinned faeries pulled open the doors for him, giving way to a brightly lit gathering hall.

It was a wide, open space – a wise choice, considering the mighty powers that would soon fill it. Glowing faelight bobbed throughout the room, and below finely roasted food was set out onto tables. Strange, unfamiliar music played in the background. Ornate tapestries that would have taken a mortal lifetime to create adorned the walls, almost as lifelike as the fae who crowded the room in front of me.

Immediately, I scanned the room, looking for the different Courts. Summer, Autumn, Dawn, and Winter had already arrived, members mingling in the crowd. The Spring Court - Tamlin - hadn’t arrived yet. I stiffened at the thought of seeing him again. We hadn’t had any contact since that day I had accepted Rhys’s sanctuary. Did he still love me? Or had that love turned into the boiling rage I knew too well?

Sensing my thoughts, I felt Rhys brush up against my mental shields reassuringly. It brought my mind back to the task at hand. Amarantha.

I scanned the crowd again, this time looking for the red hair Rhys had described. It didn’t take long. She had positioned herself near the center of the room and was talking to the High Lord of Dawn. The Ever-Blooming Flower wasn’t overwhelmingly beautiful, nor did her features strike a bolt of fear in my heart, though her face was obscured by a golden lioness mask. She wore a long-sleeved, bronze gown that was tight in the hips. A regal sort of beauty. What struck me as out of place was the spiky, golden crown she wore. Though only metal, not jewels, it was a queen’s crown - not a general’s. Rhys turned around to the court behind him, bringing my attention back to him. “Go play.”

For Amarantha, sensing Rhysand’s arrival, had broken away from the throng and was gliding over to us. I could hardly walk away and spend the evening under her radar now, not without her taking it as an insult. It would appear I was to meet the beast head-on.

It was what I had come for. Breathing deeply, I checked my mental shields and looked her in the eyes.

#acotar #acomaf #acotar fic #feysand #acotar au #angst #my writing #kate's writing #kat's writing #sjm #btd #btd writing #beneath the dark

[courtofsapphiresandshadows]

Chapter Ten- Sasha

The soft cries of prisoners and the clanking of chains were the only things Sasha could hear as she paced the length of her cell, the stone floor cold under her feet. She would kill for a pair of socks- shoes would be better. But this was the Prison, and such luxuries didn't exist.

A guard passed by, the flickering light of his candle briefly illuminating the cell she was stuck in. 'Nothing had changed' she noted as her eyes skimmed over the walls before the light faded, and she returned to the darkness. At one point, it had been a comfort- it usually meant that Aegan was nearby. But now... The voices around her drove her mad. It was never truly quiet in the Prison, but if it were, it would probably scare her more.  

Another guard marched by her cell, pausing to glance inside the cell. She stared back, the chains preventing her from getting any closer to him. "Are you Sasha?" He asked, daring to venture closer to the small peephole on her door.

Sasha. No one had called her that in a long time. Only other names- bitch, the mercenary, and the Red Death. Now that one was her favorite. She had loved the way dying fae had gasped it as blood trickled from their lips. Had relished the way the Illyrian males screamed it when she drew near. But that had only landed her in the Prison, with no hopes of ever finding out what happened to her best friend.

So the spark of power that she felt earlier had been a wave of pure ecstasy. 'Aegan was alive', was all she thought then. 'Aegan is alive.'

Sasha had used the thought as a comfort blanket as she wasted away in the cell, but as time passed, that blanket had started to get tattered. She didn't know how long it had been since Aegan's power had been announced. And Sasha knew that she wasn't the only one who had felt it.

The guard remained at the peephole. "Are you Sasha?"

She merely inclined her head. Yes.

Before she had time to react, the chains constricted her body like a snake, and the guard marched in, flanked by two others. "Under the High Lord of the Night Court, I hereby free you from the Prison, and relieve you of your sentence", he declared, before slamming the hilt of a blade on the side of her head, Sasha unable to fight the unconsciousness that quickly consumed her.

~Rhysand's POV~

It didn't take quite as long to find Sasha as Rhysand had previously thought. The day following Aegan's acceptance of the deal, both High Lord and spy sat down across from one another, a map of the Night Court rolled out in between them.

Aegan traced her hand over the Illyrian mountain range, as she told him of all the places that she had searched for her friend. It was impressive, really- she had flown for miles, even daring to venture out of the Night Court once to see if Sasha had disappeared south, but to no avail.

They had just began planning on what they should do, when Cassian, once again, burst into his office.

"May we help you?" He asked, feeling slightly irritated that now he had do deal with both Cassian and Aegan in his office- again.

The Commander leaned over the desk, gazing down at the notes the two had made. "Still looking for this girl?"

"It's only been a day, Cassian." It seems Aegan shared his irritation. "And her name's Sasha."

"Sasha..." He muttered to himself, running a thumb over his lip. "Sounds familiar. What does she look like?"

Aegan and Rhysand shared a look. "She has red hair, dark brown eyes..." She trailed off, eying Cassian as the male paled drastically. "You know her?"

He tried for a grin, only to look more scared than relaxed. "Well, I might have met her once or twice..."

"Cassian..." That was his only warning from her. "What aren't you telling us?"

Cassian glanced over at Rhysand, a look of desperation in his eyes, but he merely arched an eyebrow. If he had intel on where Sasha was, he might as well tell Aegan. The sooner they found that blasted female, the sooner Aegan could fulfill her end of the bargain. Azriel had once again gone back to Ironcrest, and the reports yet to rely any good news.

Upon seeing that he would be getting no help from his friend, Cassian turned back towards Aegan, who had sent him a very pointed look. "Well, do you know where she is?"

And that was how they ended up at the Prison's entrance. Aegan stood at one side, Cassian at the other. Feyre had stayed behind to oversee Velaris, however was really trying to interrogate Nesta more about Aegan. She had been inquiring about their new guest, and since her mate had not told her anything (due to Aegan’s request), Feyre had decided to satisfy her curiosity herself.

“Are you sure she won’t kill us all?” His commander asked once more as they watched a set of guards enter the Prison.

“For the last time, yes!” Aegan snapped. “If you keep asking me that, I’ll kill you myself!”

“Enough Aegan, before you work for 6 months instead.”, Rhys told her calmly. “Sasha will be delivered to you unharmed, just as I promised.” Fidgeting with his Illyrian armor, he exhaled sharply through his nose. “Did it take this long to release Amren?”

“Amren had been a prisoner here?” Aegan inquired, but her question was left unanswered as the two black doors opened, groaning loudly. They were only used for releasing prisoners, and that was a rarity.

Sunlight penetrated deep within the Prison, but it did quite reach the lone figure standing within the shadows. All Rhysand could make out were limbs that were too thin, and a source of power that seemed to snuff out everything around her.

“There she is”, Cassian muttered beside him, his knuckles white as he clenched the hilt of his sword. Rhysand wondered if it was a good idea bringing the Commander along- he was the one responsible for Sasha’s capture, after all. Aegan didn’t seem to care that he had decided to come along, or Azriel for that matter. The Shadowsinger was waiting patiently at the treeline, just in case things got out of hand. Considering where they were, and who was with him, he doubted things would go smoothly.

“There she is”, Aegan echoed back, her voice catching slightly. “There she is”.

Sasha, as if waiting for her cue, stepped out of the shadows. Red hair whipped around her, her pale skin seeming to glow as she walked into the sunlight. She looked familiar- too familiar. His fingers skimmed over the pommel of his sword, sharing a look with Cassian. He seemed to be feeling the same unease he was- perhaps for a different reason.

The three Illyrians walked closer to Sasha. His instincts screamed at him to turn back, but he forced his feet to keep moving, even if each step felt like another leap towards death.

Cassian suddenly grabbed his arm. “Rhys, I don’t think it’s a good idea to go see her”, he whispered hastily. “Maybe you and I should wait here while Aegan meets her.”

Rhysand yanked his arm away. “I think I can handle one prisoner, Cass”, he assured, grinning at him. “She can’t possibly be worse than Amren.”

The commander merely lowered his eyes. “Suit yourself”, he muttered, before his breath hitched slightly.

“What’s the matter-”, Rhysand began to ask, as he followed Cassian’s gaze. Sasha was much closer now, and- Mother above.

He found himself taking a step back. Another step. Cassian said something to him, but it was muffled, like everything else around him. Heart racing, he was dimly aware of Feyre shooting something down the mating bond. She must’ve sensed the panic eating away at him- no, he wouldn’t let her see the fae in front of him. Feyre had already suffered too much.

“You’re supposed to be dead”, Rhysand whispered, as Amarantha’s face stared back.

Panic. Dread. Anger. He fought the urge to lunge at the Amarantha look alike as she drew near. Rhysand knew that the Queen had died by Tamlin’s hands, but… Sasha had an uncanny resemblance to her. And the power rolling off of her was all to familiar.

Besides Feyre, Rhysand had never told the Inner Circle all of the details of what happened those 49 years. What Amarantha had done to others, to him, his words always fell short. Staring Amarantha in the face now, he felt the memories resurface. Every night, everything that she had made him do swarmed through his mind.

‘Not Amarantha’, he thought to himself over and over, forcing himself to take deep breaths to calm down. ‘She’s dead, not alive and in front of me.’

As he repeated those thoughts, he began to notice subtle differences between the two. While both of them were warriors, Sasha actually looked the part. Her nose was too crooked to be natural, and a wicked scar slashed through her eyebrow and across the bridge of her nose.

The prisoner paused midway, her whole body stiffening as she muttered something so softly that his fae hearing almost didn’t catch it; “Aegan?”

“Sasha”, Aegan sobbed, before hurtling towards her. Laughter and crying quickly erupted from the two, as they crumpled to the ground, clinging to each other tightly. No, not Amarantha. The way her eyes crinkled, her smile- it separated the two.

Aegan twisted her body so that she could face Rhysand. “Thank you.” Her voice wavered, tears streaming down her face. Her eyes then narrowed, Aegan sniffing once as she ran her eyes over him. “Are you okay?”

No. “Yes, I’m fine.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “I- I need to get back to Velaris. Feyre needs me”, he lied, kicking himself for being so pathetic before glancing down at Sasha. “Forgive me for not being able to properly introduce myself.”

The redhead fixated her eyes on him, and something hot and sharp slid through his mind quickly, and was gone as soon as it arrived. Her eyes widened slightly, before nodding her head. As if she understood the real reason behind his early departure.

“Cassian, go back to the war camps when you see fit”, he told his commander, before flaring his wings and flying away.

~Aegan’s POV~

Aegan watched Rhysand fly off, slightly confused, before turning back towards Sasha. “I still can’t believe that I found you”, she told her softly, a smile etching its way across her face.

She grinned and pulled her close. “Same here.” She then pulled back, frowning. “You have some serious explaining to do, young lady. Where did you go?”

“Later”, Aegan promised, feeling Azriel and Cassian’s hard stare on her back. “I’ll tell you everything, I swear. Let’s just bring you home.”

Relief flooded Sasha’s beautiful face. “I’ve been waiting to hear those words for forever, you know.” She wrapped her arms around Aegan’s neck, shooting her a grin. “Take me away, my winged heroine.”

Aegan snorted, before launching into the air, clenching her friend tightly to her as the ground disappeared beneath their feet. “You’ve gotten awfully light, Sasha. What have they been feeding you?”

“Only the finest cuisine of nothing and stale bread, deary”, she joked, her breath tickling Aegan’s neck. “I was hesitant about eating anything they served- I have seen what the food could do to people.”

Anger flooded her veins, before she forced it down. ‘I will destroy Ironcrest, and then that foul place’, she thought to herself as she glided on a warm jet of air.

Sasha poked her on the shoulder. “Hey Aegan?”

“Yeah?”

“Did two Illyrians accompany you to pick me up?”

A brief glance over her shoulder showed Azriel and Cassian’s form flying above them. ‘Do they really not trust me?’ Aegan pondered to herself before loosening a sigh. “That’s Cassian and Azriel. Those two brutes have been following me around ever since I bumped into the Commander.”

The redhead snorted. “Are they your entourage or something?”

“More like nannies”, she commented, earning a giggle out of the redhead. Angling her wings, she swooped down from the clouds, narrowly dodging trees as she flew towards Sasha’s cabin. Despite Sasha’s imprisonment, the wooden structure remained undisturbed, however ivy had been to cover most of the doorway. “How long has it been since you’ve been home?” She had asked once they landed on the soft earth.

“300 years,” Sasha muttered softly, her eyes roaming over her cabin. “It’s been a while.”

300 years. “How long was I gone?”

Her eyes darkened. “500 years, Aegan. You’ve been gone for 500 years”, she told her, her face crestfallen. “Where did you go?”

She had been gone for that long? No wonder she didn’t recognize anyone, save for the Ironcrest war lord. “I’ll tell you once we’re inside, and you can tell me how you managed to imprison yourself.”

“It’s a deal.” The two made their way to the door. Placing a hand on the doorway, the redhead muttered something under her breath, and the ivy retreated from the doorknob. “I’m surprised I even remember any spells.”

“Well, you do have an amazing memory”, Aegan remarked, as she twisted the doorknob, ramming her shoulder into the door when it wouldn’t budge. “You really need to oil these door hinges, Sasha.”

“Oh, shut up”, she told her jokingly, before marching into the cabin, a layer of dust wafting up into the air as a gust of wind made its way inside.

Stepping inside herself, Aegan’s eyes scanned the room, before landing on a large black trunk in the corner. “Wait, is that-”

“Your trunk? Yes”, Sasha told her, grinning as Aegan lunged for it excitedly. “I managed to snag it from your tent, in case Ironcrest tried to get rid of it.”

Wiping dust off of the lid, Aegan peered inside, and gasped as she pulled out two Illyrian swords. “My babies!” She cried, planting a kiss on each blade. “How I’ve missed you two!”

Placing the swords gently on the ground, she rummaged through the trunk, pulling out clothes, armor, and even more weapons. Finally, her fingers brushed against smooth leather, and Aegan pulled out the thick green journal her mother had kept. Flipping through aged pages, her eyes skimmed over the detailed watercolor paintings of songbirds and flowers she had grown to love. Her mother had been an avid painter, and for the longest time, Aegan had grown jealous of her paint sets, since they seemed to be getting more attention than her.

But now, she would kill for her mother to be alive again, using those paint sets as she had before.

Aegan shut the book, placing it on top of the now closed trunk. “Thank you”, she told Sasha, “for everything.”

Her friend knelt down next to her, wrapping her arms around her. “For you? Anything”, Sasha whispered, pressing a friendly kiss to her temple. “I heard about your mother’s death- I’m sorry.”

Aegan smiled grimly. “It’s in the past now”, she told Sasha softly, patting her hand. “We have to focus on the future.” She should listen to her own words- she had been stuck in the past for awhile now. And look where that got her- pretty much nowhere, save for finding Sasha.

They sat on the floor for a while, flipping through the green journal, a comfortable silence between the two. Suddenly, Aegan remembered what she had been meaning to give Sasha. “I have something for you”, she began to say, unstrapping the knife from her thigh, and displaying it to her. “I figured you have been looking for it.”

Sasha squealed excitedly, snatching it away from Aegan. “I’ll finally have a complete collection!” She exclaimed, before crawling across the floor on her hands and knees, thumping against the wooden floor. “Ah, here we are”, she muttered, prying a floorboard loose to reveal a small compartment. Sticking her arm in, she pulled out a leather bandolier, eight throwing knives already tucked away neatly. She slid the last one in, sighing happily. “Much better.”

“Are they still sharp?”

Sasha took two out of their sheathes, grinning slightly. “Well, there’s only one way to find out”, she began to say, before chucking them at the top of the doorway, where Cassian and Azriel were standing. Clearly, they hadn’t expected knives to be thrown at them, for their siphon shields, red and blue, flared up immediately. Thankfully, the two knives had hit the door frame instead, wobbling slightly.

Azriel looked on the verge of either sighing and screaming, while Cassian merely grinned. “You missed.”

“I don’t miss”, Sasha shot back, before sending him a smile that was just short of feral. “Hello Cassian.”

The Commander crossed his arms, as he glanced around the cabin. “Nice place- could use some dusting”, he told her, swiping a finger along a cabinet.

The redhead scoffed, before flicking her wrist. A sudden gust of wind blasted into the room, dust swirling around before being escorted out of the door. “What about now?”

“Whatever”, he grumbled. “Aegan, you are to leave for Ironcrest with Azriel today. Rhysand’s orders.”

“Well, isn’t he all high and mighty?” Aegan grumbled, pushing herself to her feet. “How much time do I have?”

The commander shrugged, before glancing at Azriel. “10 minutes”, the shadowsinger told them, his voice no more than a whisper. Did his voice ever rise above a murmur?

“10 minutes my ass”, she muttered, before turning back towards Sasha. “I’m sorry we can’t spend more time together.”

Sasha smiled grimly. “I have a feeling I’ll be seeing you in the near future”, she assured, before grabbing her by the shoulders. “But seriously, may I at least see where you were?”

Aegan felt her whole body tense up. The last time someone looked into her mind, it did not go well. But that was Rhysand- this was Sasha. Surely things were different now… she hoped.

“Just make it quick”, she muttered, glancing at the two males, who had decided to wait outside. Thankfully, the two were too engaged in conversation to notice the two females staring at them, but the shadow curling around Azriel’s ear was all Aegan needed to see to know that he was listening.

Steeling herself, Aegan felt the quick jab in her mind as Sasha slithered in. She was daemati, just like Feyre and Rhysand. However, while the high lord had mastered sneaking into someone’s head, Sasha, whether she liked it or not, made her presence known. A sharp pain between her eyes throbbed as her friend shuffled through her mind, memories flashing violently.

It didn’t last long. Sasha, keeping her word, withdrew, tears streaming down her face. “Hybern-”

“Like I said, it’s in the past now”, Aegan told her, fighting the urge to break down. “He’s dead now, and I’m fine.”

Sasha’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t seem fine.”

“I’m fine”, she seethed, feeling her frustration and anger burn. Normally, people would cower slightly at her anger, terrified, and decide that it would be unwise to continue their conversation with Aegan.

Sasha merely arched an eyebrow, opening her mouth to shoot something back.

“Aegan?” Azriel called out from outside, cutting the redhead off. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, Azriel. I’ll be out in a minute.” Suppressing a sigh, Aegan bent down and picked up the twin swords and the armor she had discarded on the ground. She strapped them to her back, the movement pure muscle memory as she smiled grimly at Sasha. “This is where we part”, she told her softly, tucking her Illyrian armor under one arm. “Please try to stay out of trouble.”

Sasha grinned wickedly. “You have so much faith in me, Aegan dear”, she joked, before pulling her in for one last embrace. “If you need anything”, she whispered in her ear, “let me know. You know how to find me.”

Aegan grinned back. “I’ll see you around, Sasha.”

Her friend smiled, a twinge of sadness lingering in her eyes. “Stay safe”, was all she said before winnowing away, leaving Aegan embracing only thin air.

Her eyes fell to the small green journal lying next to her feet. “Couldn’t hurt to bring it along”, she muttered to herself before gently picking it up. Taking one last glance at the cabin, she stepped outside, making sure to shut the door behind her. As soon as her hand left the doorknob, ivy immediately began to grow over once again. The cabin appeared undisturbed once more.

“About time”, the shadowsinger commented, Azriel leaning against a thick oak tree. “I was considering just dragging you out of there myself.”

“Do you think that would a wise move?”

“Are you challenging me?”

Aegan shot him a pointed look. “Now’s not the time to bicker like an Illyrian toddler, Azriel”, she shot back smoothly. “Ironcrest awaits.”

The shadowsinger merely flared his wings, before launching himself into the sky. Cursing, Aegan quickly followed, clenching the journal and armor tightly to her chest as her wings beat furiously to catch him. “That shadowy bastard”, she hissed under her breath, making a point of bumping into him as soon as she caught up. “You did that on purpose.”

Azriel remained silent, however a hint of a smile played at his lips as the two soared higher and higher above the ground. As if he was actually amused at his own joke. Now that was a first.

“This is going to be a long 6 weeks”, she grumbled, as the cabin and the Prison became nothing but a small dot in the distance. As Illyria called her home.

They had made camp a few miles from Ironcrest’s boundary, the faint calls of the nocturnal wildlife mingling with the small crackling fire they had constructed. Aegan, tasked with finding firewood, grunted as she dropped a load of logs off near the base of the fire. “How much kindling do you need?” She asked, feeling her back pop as she stretched.

Azriel looked up from the report he had been reading. “That should be enough for the night.”

She whistled lowly. “What are you going to do- burn the whole forest down? Because if you do, please warn me so I can get out of the way.”

He rolled his eyes, before going back to his report. “If you want, I’ll watch over you as you sleep.”

“That’s not creepy at all”, Aegan muttered, laying down on the hard earth nevertheless, shutting her eyes. “So, tell me about yourself.”

Azriel groaned. “Can’t you let me focus?”

“You can focus when I finally fall asleep”, she told him, cracking open an eye to peer up at him. “So, what’s your favorite color?”

“That’s a stupid question.”

“Interesting choice. Mine’s black”, she told him, shifting onto her side to face away from him. “Although blue is a nice color too.”

He had fallen silent, Aegan officially giving up on her attempts at a conversation. Besides, the drone of crickets and the shuffling of papers had become a soft lullaby for her. Despite her efforts to stay awake, her eyelids had began to droop more and more. Exhaustion had finally caught up to her.

The sound of rustling papers stopped. “Blue. My favorite color’s blue”, Azriel muttered to her, but Aegan was too far gone to respond.

@callie-bear15

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[everythingthroneoglass]

Tamlin Rant

Here’s a random one for ya, but I couldn’t help but notice yet another thing :

You know how in the ENTIRE ACOTAR series, Tamlin was almost always busy with his High Lord duties, affecting the way he was giving Feyre the amount of attention/care he should have given her? Especially the first two books ( third she is a spy so... whether he was there or not, she didn’t give a flying fuck. Ha.)

Well I was thinking the other night: how is it Rhys was available to Feyre In almost every time of need or want she had? Here is Rhys, a High Lord who has been missing from his SPLIT court ( dreams and nightmares) , and he is just magically appearing at will, going on walks, having long talks, etc. etc. Then it hit me: the very first and foremost warning ( even though it would have never occurred to Feyre) was how ALONE Tamlin was from the very get go. Yes, he had Lucien, but other than that he just had his staff and guard ... after everything that transpired with the slaying of his family, he cut himself off from fear of being hurt again whereas Rhys did the opposite and allowed others into his life to help him recover. He can be gone for however long he needs because his fam has always got his back. Tamlin became self absorbed and unwilling to trust or allow anyone to help him other than Lucien, and even THEN, Lucien didn’t help out that much when it came to advice because Tamlin wouldn’t listen most of the time anyways. My point being guys, Tamlin was such a complex character with so many tiny immaculate hunts that he wasn’t a good person, that this is just another thing I realized like ... 3 years after it came out XD

Yet another small hint at his true nature from the very get go. Think about it. You get kidnapped by a fucking HIGH LORD and all you see other than himself is his one friend and his staff??? You would think a good leader would be surrounded by loyal friends and loved ones. That’s a red flag if I’ve ever seen one.

#sarah j maas #acourtofthornsandroses #acotar #feyre #tamlin

[umidunnothings]

Thoughts on ACOWAR

I’m going to preface this with the fact that I did not like the book. If you liked the book, this is not the post for you. This is a post complaining about ‘A Court of Wings and Ruin’ which I recently spite-read because despite disliking parts of acomaf, I hate leaving stories unfinished. Anyways, here we have, in no particular order, my complaints.

- Tamlin is stupid. If he had even told Lucien at least, his *right hand man* that he was colluding with Hybern to spy, he probably would have stopped Feyre from wrecking his court.

- We we’re not given the aftermath or recovery from the members of the night court who were badly hurt, especially Cassian. Given how much it’s built up that destroying an Illyrian’s wings hurts them, I wish we could have seen how it affected him.

- Just in general I wish we had seen more of that post-invasion failure recovery from the night court’s side of things.

- This isn’t just this book, but I dislike how the world is made mysoginist just so the author can show what a wonderful feminist Rhysand is.

- In general, the vilification of Tamlin seems excessive to me and I wish he wasn’t left in the two dimensional dust after we spent an entire book thinking he was the main love interest.

- There were so many sex scenes I was getting sick of them, and they were incredibly tonally inappropriate, especially in the war camp portion of the story. There probably just should have been a ‘last good day’ and then turned the focus onto the action.

- the Lucian/Elain/Azriel situation never got any clear closure.

- The Suriel is an annoying trope whenever feyre needs to find something, it felt like the author had just ran out of ideas and rehashed something else. Feyre should not have been able to catch him three times, when it was established that it’s so difficult Rhysand had never succeeded.

- The plot with the sixth queen was useless and didn’t need to be there.

- The explanation for why they couldn’t find Drakon and Miriam was so fucking stupid. They put up wards and forgot to tell anyone? And that’s the answer to the two or three book long mystery??? Really????

- I’m a queer girl. I love queer girls. But making mor a lesbian felt shoehorned in and doesn’t make any sense with the heteronormative mating system established in the books.

- Amren is an ancient, terrifyingly powerful being from before their written history. Her relationship with Varian ruins the mystique built around her.

- This isn’t just ACOWAR but Feyre’s insistence on poking around in the 500 year old drama between Azriel, Cassian and Mor always seemed very annoying to me.

- The last minute redemption and then death of her father was unnecessary and stupid, and sometimes bad people need to be left as bad people. It was also ridiculously implausible.

- Tamlin should not have survived saving Feyre when she was rescuing Elain. That would have been a good end for him.

- Amren should not have survived her dip in the cauldron.

- The final conclusion was too neat. No one died, all the emotional buildup of Cassian having all his bones broken, Amren and Rhysand sacrificing themselves, etc etc was entirely lost.

- Placing creatures like the bone carver, Byraxis, and the weaver, in the context of a battle in which they were defeated, again, ruined the power and mystique they had built up around them.

That’s all I can think of for now, thanks for joining me on my salt parade.

#acowar spoilers #anti sjm #anti acowar

[bookofmirth]

Idk I have very little sympathy for Lucien being used by Feyre when she was spying on the Spring Court. I love Lucien, he is honestly like in my top 5 fave characters of the series, but I don’t feel bad about Feyre putting Lucien in a compromising position with Tamlin.

Like as the reader I know Lucien was also a victim of abuse. I know he looked at Tamlin not just as a friend, but as if he owed him for saving him and giving him a home when he left the Autumn Court and that’s something I feel Tamlin often used as a way to keep Lucien in his debt.

But Feyre saw Lucien as the man who stood by Tamlin when he was hurting her. The guy who made excuses for Tamlin’s controlling behavior. The guy who stood next to Tamlin as he betrayed Prythian to take Feyre from her home. The guy who worked with the monster who kidnapped her sisters and forced them to turn into fae. The guy who was angry about his mate being taken from him, but didn’t share that reaction when Tamlin demanded Feyre and Rhys mating bond be severed.

We as the reader understand that Lucien and Tamlin’s relationship isn’t just about loyalty, but a severely toxic and dysfunctional relationship. But Feyre didn’t come to the same conclusion until later. Even when he helped her escape she was skeptical about whether she could really trust him and I think that makes a lot of sense considering all he didn’t do to help her in the past. So I really can’t be mad about her purposely trying to cause a rift with them in order to subvert Tamlin’s suspicions and attention from her.

I still love Lucien and only want good things for him. I just don’t feel all that bad about Feyre putting him in a shitty situation with Tamlin.

tbh I actually agree with you about not really minding how it affects Lucien - because it basically doesn’t, in that case. Just more of the same, Tamlin getting pissy with his friend. 

My annoyance with the way Feyre behaves towards him re: Tamlin in acowar more bugs me on principle, rather than how it actually impacts Lucien. Cuz I mentioned in another reblog how she also passively contributed to one of Tamlin’s guards being whipped, and at the time I didn’t care or even make the connection, probably because they are no-name characters just there to be punished by Ianthe and Tamlin. And even with Lucien, nothing actually happens when she decides to make it so that Tamlin finds them in a compromising position (well, that we know of). I think that overall, I feel bad for Lucien but not in a... protect at all costs, kind of way? He’s a grown ass man, he can take care of himself.

But I’m still annoyed at Feyre for orchestrating the situation where there was potential for harm. I was chatting with @aelin-godkiller about it and I realized that it’s one of those things where my initial reaction was “um, ick”, and it wasn’t until I got on tumblr and tried to articulate why I felt like that that I understood, or figured out exactly why I didn’t like it. So I totally respect the idea that other people view Feyre as doing what she had to do! From the first time I read acowar I’ve been trying to figure out why I had that gut reaction, and that’s my best explanation!

I do have to say though, that Lucien was clearly in no way supporting the King’s or Ianthe’s or Tamlin’s actions at the end of acomaf. He clearly drew a line, and everyone saw it. Now why he chose to draw that line in that situation (before he knew Elain was his mate!) is maybe the subject of another discussion!

Also I love that we can have these conversations and kinda disagree but be civil and just be like “well I feel like this because” and then I’ll be like “oh cool I feel this other way because” and then we nod and high five and enjoy mutual fandomness.

#acotar #acomaf #lucien #tamlin #ask #thanks for the comments! #apparently booktok fandom is being gross rn? #no thanks #anon

[bastardsonofday]

Rhysand’s Guide to Rejection

Prompt: Rejection (yeah that was a surprise, huh)

ao3      bingo prompts series      buy me a caffeinated beverage

The last person Rhysand had expected on the other side of his door at this hour was Lucien Vanserra.

“Lucien, I am so fucking tired. What the fuck do you want?” Rhysand groaned.

“Teach me how to live without her.” Lucien begged. “Teach me how to live.”

Rhysand stared at the other male for quite a long moment. Rhysand couldn’t recall a time Lucien looked worse than he did now. Even after Lucien had lost his eye, he still made himself look regal, made himself look powerful. After Jesminda died it took him ten days to come back and become the Emissary of the Spring Court. (At least to the outside world, to the inside, well—to say that Lucien still cried at night would be an understatement.) It had been months since Hybern—since Elain had rejected Lucien, and here he stood, disheveled.

Rhysand couldn’t blame Lucien. He’d looked just as bad when he’d found out Feyre was in Prythian. That night, after he’d first seen her… all alone… wandering around without a care or protector in the world… on the worst of nights to do such a thing...

Lucien’s eye didn’t gleam. The living metal seemed cold and worn—like brass without it’s shine. His hair was a rat’s nest. A messy bun, something that hadn’t been cared about, just done for convenience. Lucien had never before done something purely for convenience… at least not to Rhysand’s knowledge. The red lost it’s splendor, the highlights no longer showed. The fire in his face extinguished. The clothes he wore ragged and frayed. The colors dull and the exact opposite of glamorous. His usually tan skin was pale, and shadows hung under his sunken eyes. His cheekbones stark and sharp in the bad way. Rhysand could see Lucien’s veins shine through his skin. His cuticles were scabbed over, his nails bitten to the quick.

He looked horrible. Absolutely horrible.

“You don’t.” Rhysand said, and shut the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rhysand felt bad. He shouldn’t have snapped at Lucien like he had. Rhys had been tired and overcome with anger at Lucien’s past alliances and actions, when he probably should have thought about Lucien for a change. After all, Rhys had promised him he would help. Lucien couldn’t survive without his help, too. Lucien had nowhere to go, no one would trust a man who had defected from Courts twice. Especially when he’d been accused multiple times of seducing one of the said Courts’ High Lord’s consorts. He had to stay with them. And Rhysand had to apologize. It wouldn’t have been right otherwise.

Rhysand knocked on Lucien’s door twice.

No answer.

Rhysand knocked again, four times.

No answer.

Rhysand decided this would be the last time he would knock before he gave up and went back to his and Feyre’s shared room. He had only knocked once when the door opened.

Well, at least Lucien had gotten his hair sorted out. That was a start.

“What do you want?” Exhaustion. Lucien was tired in an emotional and mental way, and it showed in his speech. No mind-reading powers needed.

“I want to apologize.”

Lucien was clearly intrigued but the fog must have been so thick he could only feign his interest. “Oh?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that to you. You came to me asking me a real question that clearly means a lot to you. And knowing your nature, Lucien, I’m sure it was damn hard to ask for help about something so important-”

“You’re giving yourself too much credit-” Lucien snarled.

“I’m not and you know it. This means a lot to you. One day, Fox Boy, you’ll learn trusting people with stuff going on in your head is the sign of a healthy relationship.”

That blew the rest of the fog off of Lucien’s numb brain—now he was straight up angry.

“Can I come in? Or do you want to have this conversation out here, where anyone could walk by?” Rhysand knew the point he was veiling in his words wouldn’t get across, but he tried anyway.

Lucien growled and turned, letting the door swing open on its own. “Make yourself comfortable, I guess. It’s your house.”

Rhysand sighed, Lucien was always so angry, so closed off. Not that Rhysand could blame him, if Rhys had been through what Lucien had been through… Rhysand wouldn’t be surprised if he acted the same way. Rhysand was surprised he didn’t act like that now.

Rhys sat on the bed, cross-legged. Lucien paced back and forth, like a caged dog.

“Distance.” The word was pulled from Rhys’s throat. “The distance. It killed me, but it was also what kept me sane. Until… well, until Feyre began to spiral, and Tamlin began to hurt her. Then I had to go get her, but until then… the distance saved me.”

“As I remember it you didn’t stay that far.”

Rhysand let himself smile wryly. “Yeah, well. I… wasn’t good at it, but those nights… Under The Mountain… when I would close my eyes,” Rhysand did it now, and untensed. He spread his arms, imagining for a moment, that he was back there, under Amarantha’s rule… “I would fall back against the sheets,” Rhysand landed with a FLAP on the silk sheets of Lucien’s bed, “and I would smell roses. And wind. And the tang of paint. I could taste the end of the brush which she would stick in her mouth while thinking… I would see glimpses of you and the long manes of the horses…” Rhysand laughed, “I would smell the horses too.” Rhysand took a deep breath of memory, and sighed into the bed.

“And...?” Lucien prompted when Rhysand had been silent for too long.

Rhysand exhaled and sat back up. He ran a hand through his hair, and then let them fall to his lap. “And it helped, being able to see and feel what she did even if I couldn’t-since I couldn’t.”

“Elain doesn’t want me here.” Lucien said softly. He sounded like his heart was breaking.

Rhysand remembered the feeling well: when he looked into Feyre’s eyes and she looked like she would spit in his face.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Didn’t-Didn’t it ever feel like… spying? Like violation?”

“Yeah, it did. But, I’m a damaeti, Lucien, it’s like that for me every day.”

Lucien scowled. “Does this mean you peek in people’s heads like you did Feyre?”

Rhysand backpedaled quickly. “No. I-Sometimes. Only ever with permission when it’s like, a thought or a memory. If it’s like... a feeling, then sometimes… It depends on the person and the situation.”

Lucien met his eyes for a second, before looking away. “Me?”

“No.” Rhysand admitted. “Never you.”

Somehow, that didn’t make Lucien feel any better.

“When you’re not near her, the temptation can sometimes be too much, like it was for me, as opposed to lessening it. So it helped, the fact that I didn’t have the power to see her. That I had a-a mission. I mean, even sometimes the temptation… it was too much. But you’re stronger than me in that respect, I believe, Lucien. I’m sure you can manage what I can’t.”

Lucien snorted. “Only if I’m half-way across the world, otherwise… I can’t imagine that.”

Rhysand rubbed his eyes. “Yeah. I know that feeling.”

Lucien was silent for a moment, and then: “Distance, huh?”

“Yeah. Distance. Also, acceptance. Boy, when you figure out how to accept the fact that she doesn’t love you or want you, then everything becomes so much simpler.”

“Does it?” Lucien asked skeptically.

“Well, so I’ve heard. I wouldn’t know. As I’m sure you remember, I never accepted it.”

“And look how well that worked out for you.” Lucien said in a way that Rhys couldn’t tell if it was ironic or wistful.

“I’m sorry for you Lucien. Your situation sucks.”

“Yeah.” Lucien kicked the floor angrily, his jaw tensed. “How am I supposed to get distance, Rhys? I have nowhere to go! No one wants me! Including my mate!”

Rhysand was stunned, unsure of how to respond but sure he needed to. He opened his mouth and Lucien snarled at him: “Don’t Rhys. It was a rhetorical lament. That wasn’t for your advice, but feel free to give me your pity.”

Rhysand felt helpless. “I’m sorry, Lucien.” He repeated.

“Thanks, Rhys. For everything.”

“Yeah… sure. Good night, Lucien.”

“Good night.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Okay, when I said ‘distance’ and you said ‘half-way around the world’, I thought we were at least semi-joking.” Rhysand said as he walked, uninvited, into Lucien’s room.

Lucien scowled at him but kept packing. “Someone needs to go.”

“Elain needs you!”

“No, she doesn’t. She and everyone else have made that very clear.”

“Lucien, running away doesn’t solve anything-!”

“I’m not running away, I’m creating distance. You know, what you suggested-”

“It sounds a lot like running away to me.”

“Well then screw you.”

“Lucien-”

“Don’t ‘Lucien’ me.”

“Please, just- It’s stupid and-”

“I’m going, whether or not Elain is a factor. It should be me. I’m going, Rhys.” Lucien insisted.

Rhysand slumped defeatedly against the wall. “There’s nothing I can say or do, huh?”

“Nope.” Lucien popped the ‘p’.

“Then, I guess, good luck.”

“Thanks, Rhys.” Lucien paused both physically and verbally. “Good luck to you too.”

“Thanks. I’ll see you again Lucien.”

“Yeah. You will.”

Rhysand pushed himself off the wall and was about to walk out when he hesitated. “Lucien, be like me. Well, the good parts of me—don’t stay too far.”

Lucien didn’t respond, and when Rhys and Feyre awoke the next morning he was already gone.

#diana writes #diana writes lucien vanserra #diana writes a court of thorns and roses #lucien vanserra #rhysand #lucien & rhys

[mmreadsbooks]

A Court of Wings and Ruin (A Court of Thorns and Roses #3), Sarah J. Maas

5/5 stars

HOW DO I EVEN DESCRIBE MY FEELINGS?! I CAN'T!!!! I took my time reading this, relishing the story and the characters for the last "first" time. I'm so glad Sarah will be writing more stories in Prythian. Especially because I felt like there were a lot of stories we didn't see that were crucial to his final battle. (Lucien, Vassa, Mr. Archeron, Miryam and Drakon, Jurian, Tamlin.) I loved this book, though my greatest issues were some of the twists and plot points were anti-climatic and there were a lot of questions that remained. Hopefully to be answered in upcoming stories. Spoilers below! Questions: What about Nesta's powers once the Cauldron was broken? Why did she ignore Cassian after that semi-romantic scene with him and the King? What actually happened to her when she was in the Cauldron? Didn't her powers seem anti-climatic? I thought she was potentially a death-god? How will she deal with the death and PTSD following the battle/losing her father? What about that bloodline of that ancient Fae that runs through a human line? It was barely mentioned? I believe that was the Fae who bound the Carver and its siblings? Wasn't the ending too good to be true? Getting Rhys back the same way Feyre was revived at the end of ACOTAR and getting Amren back in a High Fae form? Papa Archeron finding Vassa and meeting up with Lucien and Miryam and Drakon running into them??? Also, not sensing that Miryam and Drakon had wards up on their island and they didn't think to tell Rhys?! After we discover Elain is a seer, she suddenly doesn't have any more visions and acts normal?! WHOA. The relationships: Feyre and Rhys: Awesome. Even though there wasn't a lot of tension since they were mates. The only tension-y portion was the beginning when Feyre was spying in the Spring Court. Nesta and Cassian: Played out exactly the way I wanted. Nesta is very closed off and definitely isn't good at expressing herself, even in dire moments. I definitely need more. Also, Rhys and Feyre wondering if their mates made me squeal. Mor and Azriel: What a truth bomb! Mor prefers females, which is awesome. And it makes so much sense about why she wouldn't hook up with Azriel after hundreds of years of pining on his end. I wish this relationship had seen more honesty and had a sort of climax or resolution. Elain and Lucien: LOL Elain's not into it, or at least would rather get to know him first. I would love to hear more about this. Elain and Azriel: Did anyone else sense romance here? Or at least a BROTP? I would love for them to be best friends. Truth-Teller ending the King was awesome. Definitely need more moments here. Elain's surprise at Azriel's rescue at the Hybern Camp and when he gave her Truth-Teller... Mor and Cassian: So are they into each other or not? Seems like they're just good friends but then there's still allusions to a love-triangle with Azriel in this book?? Friends, please. Lucien and Feyre: I really wanted to see more of the original BROTP in this book. They went through so much crap together Under the Mountain and even though Lucien was a shitty friend in ACOMAF, he and Feyre went through hell in the beginning of this book. Especially when she made Tamlin think they were in to each other. But ESPECIALLY when they were fighting his family for their lives. I wanted to see their friendship at the Night Court more. Tamlin and Feyre: I wanted more of a resolution than the note. He's hurt, but he loves her so much. Tamlin was the love interest throughout the entire first book. I felt that he deserved more page time, even if I don't like him. He was a huge part of Feyre's journey. Lucien and Helion: Can you meet?!?!?!?!?! I thought Sarah might kill Helion and then Lucien would inherit his powers, but I guess we shall see. Lucien and Eris: Eris clearly has regrets, thought clearly not a good dude. There seems to be more to his story with Mor and with Lucien, which I would really like to see. Especially if he kills Beron. Feyre and Azriel: Flying lessons, so sweet. Plus when they went to save Elain. And when he saved her from the Autumn Court and defended her at the meeting at Dawn Court. Ugh, Court of Dreams! Feyre and Cassian: Serious BROTP. Could be great brother and sister-in-laws, just saying. Definitely love them training together. When Cassian was pissed that she didn't tell him she was High Lady, I thought it was kind of weird and a little late out of the gate. Feyre and Vassa: I like how Feyre was like, girl, I'm a queen, too, okay. Definitely want more of the story here. Rhys and Elain and Nesta: He's literally their brother-in-law and they spent almost zero time together. They were with Rhys in the Night Court for months!!! No bonding or experiences to speak of? It made me laugh when Rhys flew with Nesta and she threw up and he just yelled, "sorry!" Amren and Varian: OKAY!! OKAY!! OKAY!! Gimme more! Elain and Greyson: Definitely need her to get over this a-hole. Glad she seems to be coming around though. And I'm glad humans fought in the battle. Miryan and Drakon and Jurian: Please tell me more. I really liked this book, but after ACOMAF I just felt it could have been done better. There a lot of threads that still need to be answered, and hopefully will be, but as I've said, I never really thought our characters would lose. So it felt anticlimatic. When Rhys died I was like, WTF SARAH. But all is well. I felt like the last hundred pages were seriously rushed, especially with all of the stories converging into one big battle. I don't think that was plausible, even in a fantasy world. Amren is second in command and she felt like an outsider the entire time. Her betrayal was not totally unexpected to me and seemed like such a big deal and then a page later Feyre's like "Oh, okay, nbd Amren." And I'm like ????????? That Jurian twist didn't have me convinced. Again, too good to be true, I thought. Nesta and Cassian's showdown with the King was awesome, loved their dynamic there. And I totally forgot about Elain until she freakin' stabs the King with Truth-Teller, and finally shows the bit of spine I was hoping she would. I still have so many thoughts and questions that I can't even piece them together. But I love Prythian, I love Sarah's writing, I love these characters, and I'm so glad we'll be back for more. I need to find out what happens next and see the evolution of these characters' relationships. I want to see Nesta, Elain and Lucien integrated into the Court of Dreams. (And perhaps Varian?) Also, love me some Tarquin. We definitely need to know what happened with Papa Archeron, especially after his story was cut off so quickly. Which has completely destroyed Nesta. He had a large turn-around. Also, the story with the Queens confuses me. The Queens rule one land below the wall on the Continent? Is that it? I can't wait to see what kind of Treaty Prythian reinstates between Fae and humans. SO MUCH MORE STORY TO TELL! And Feyre and Rhysand and the Court of Dreams better be a large part of it! Nesta is my favorite character. 

#a court of wings and ruin #a court of thorns and roses #acowar #acotar #feyre #rhys #nesta archeron #ya #young adult #sarah j maas #sjm #book review #book blog #review #mmreads