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cmoundiamante · 28 days

Text

MINISKIRT ✦ S.JY

OWN LITTLE P*RN STAR SPIN-OFF

DEDICATED TO my baby girl @hollyoongs ̩̩͙ ໋:

pairing professor!jake x afab!reader

summary Strict and handsome, those were the main adjectives that described Sim Jaeyun. He was quick to scold you if you did anything that went against the rules of his class, but his guilty taste could get you off the hook if you only attended to his needs.

genre smut. college!au, one shot

warnings age gap (sjy 37. reader 23), pet names (miss t/n, princess, darling, whore, slut, good girl, sunshine.), mean!jake in his professor role and when he gets mad, machist & possessive!jake (kinda), the reader’s bsf is the pornstar (duh), dirty talk, blowjob, facejob, cum eating, missionary, unprotected sex, mentions of smoke and pornography, recording videos.

a/n DID YOU GUYS MISS ME? i was absent due to personal problems, I didnt have too much inspiration to write either, but here is what u were waiting for the most 😙😙 english is not my first language so pls be kind (: any correction will be considered, not only to improve reading but also for my learning ^^ enjoy this

wc 12,2k

• this is a olps spin off, so if u didn't read it, i recommend u to do so, as in some scenes there are references to parts of my other os

1 - Respect the fulfillment of assignment deliveries in a timely manner, otherwise this will alter your report grade.

2 - Attend the class with clothing appropriate to the university context.

3 - Failure to attend classes does not excuse the fulfillment of assigned tasks.

4 - Do not attend class with any type of food or drink other than water, totally forbidden to consume food inside the classroom.

5 - The use of the cell phone is allowed only with didactic use, otherwise it will be removed by the rest of the class by the teacher.

You could swear you knew these rules by heart, but these were just a few of the many rules in the Teaching Contract that Sim Jake updated annually. Mr. Sim was your teacher from the moment you entered this university practically, because since you managed to get your scholarship there wasn't a year in which you had another literature professor, it was always him.

Your platonic love for him was fueled by trying to see him in your free time at university. Although he was a very kind man outside of school, working transformed him into a completely different person. Despite his good humour and his princely face he was a man who would not forgive you for an undone task, 50 cents on an exam, nor for breaking his rules that were in the 'light penalties' section.

Today you had completely forgotten Jake's rules again, if you thought about him, but not his damn rules. You were in math class with Professor Nishimura, who unlike Jake was much younger and much more open-minded, clearly ignored your outfit, barely noticing your presence. When he left, you were shaking with fear because you knew your world was falling apart. In the middle of the time change, you turned around to see your friend, who was a little amused watching you squirm in your chair.

"Take this." She took her jacket off her chair and handed it to you. "Cover your legs with this, I think they will catch his attention more than your shoulders." She said, referring to the white tank top you were wearing and the black miniskirt that decorated your prominent hips. Without looking back, you realized that he had arrived because the whole classroom had fallen silent. "Give it to me," you whispered, snatching her jacket out of your best friend's hands, then unzipping it and covering your thighs.

You arranged your hair and fixed your gaze on him, who was giving an overview of the course. The first thing he did at the beginning of each class was to walk between the desks to greet us and tell us how his day went, at the same time he made sure that everything was in order and that each of his students fulfilled the long list of "student commitments". The wind you felt when he passed by your left side gave you goosebumps and raised your body temperature, making the jacket that was between your legs already a nuisance.

Jake walked past you again, this time head-on and to your bad luck you both made eye contact, calling Jake to take a closer look at you, finding your disobedience in the set of clothes you were wearing. "Miss Y/N, can you put on your jacket, pretty please? You can't have these kinds of clothes in my class." His tone was so soft that you could do what he asked of you with no problem, but your bare legs could create an even bigger problem, but you listened to him.

You didn't know if you did it because you wanted him to see you, but you managed to get him to keep his gaze glued to your thighs for a couple of seconds. When you finished putting on your friend's jacket, Jake grabbed your shoulder and massaged it a little, when you looked at him you felt a little bad about the face he was giving you. "This will lower your concept grade." He kept walking behind you, then you kept looking at him and then gave your friend an alert glance. You were both outraged by that stupid rule, but you couldn't do anything about it so you both would just have to swallow your anger.

"Bullshit," your companion whispered. He had already scolded you and it was already certain that your grades would go down, so your friend extended her hand, implying that you should give her back her jacket, but you played dumb. "What?" you looked at her confused. "He already scolded you, give me back my jacket." "He touched it... Can I keep it?" To all this, you communicated in whispers, which luckily among the murmurs of the whole course could not be heard. "Yes, of course, as if you hadn't taken off all my clothes," she replied wryly.

"Please, when you come home I'll give you the clothes you want," you said, clasping your hands in pleading, knowing that your friend still wasn't convinced. "We don't even have similar styles." "Pretty please? If we ever drift apart, I want you to have something of mine as a souvenir." She laughed. "I'll probably burn it later." You sarcastically glared at her, whispering an almost inaudible 'you, bitch'. "Fiiiiine, keep it," she said in an even louder tone, yet you were happy to have acquired something that he had made tact with.

New day, new clothes.

This time you did have a reason to wear those kinds of clothes. When you opened your closet, you had found literally nothing. Some clothes you haven't worn in years, ripped dresses that your asshole ex-boyfriend had torn before he fucked you hard, t-shirts with horrific prints that you wore at a controversial time in your life. Among so much shit you could find a crop top and a denim miniskirt, that to hide the outfit you wore the same jacket from yesterday that you had taken from your best friend.

To all this, your only excuse was your laziness to put the clothes that were in the laundry basket into the washing machine. Even if you put your clothes into the washing machine at the same time you knew you made a mistake, you were still going to go through this again, because the humid temperature of the city did not cooperate to dry the clothes hanging out in time.

You tried to get the jacket to cover at least half of your thighs, but the attempt was stupid, since you were in class and soon to hide your flesh from the sight of that teacher, who would clearly soon catch your attention again. "Miss Y/N, again?" he lowered his head, as much as that was a bad sign you couldn't help but feel excited by that move he made. "I can explain..." Your answer took a while to formulate as you wanted to speak without stuttering. "Okay, we'll talk after class then. Is that okay with you?" you gulp, and with a lump tied in your throat you nodded. "And remember..." As he spoke, he moved away from you, exposing your mistake in front of the whole course. "Your grades."

Trying to delete that embarrassing scene from your mind, class had started and you had to focus on it. For today's class, Jake had asked a text to print and bring to that same class. "Well guys, I want to believe that most of you brought the text I asked for, is there anyone who didn't bring it?" No one raised their hand, but it was obvious that he were asking to find out who should be downgraded and who should not. Luckily you weren't one of that group, as you held the paper in your hands.

"Alright, the text we're going to read today is called 'Thoughts I Never Told You', it was written by Joanne Collins, have any of you ever read it or do you know what it's about?" some 'no' was heard in a very low tone to answer Jake's question. "It is a confession written from the writer's point of view that expresses the daily thoughts that a woman has when she falls in love." With his hands decorated with some rings, he grabbed the sheet with the writing. "Who wants to start reading?" one of your classmates raised his hand and Jaeyun gave him the pass to read.

From then on your attention diminished, just following the reading without being interested in what the text said. You imagined fictional scenarios, or you just watched Mr. Sim, who was paying attention to the reading, concentrating on his sheet, which you want to be you so that he would appreciate you in that way. You lowered your gaze and managed to see how his blue shirt had the sleeves rolled up, revealing the middle of his arm that was decorated by some veins that exalted his skin. The white T-shirt he wore could show off his collarbones perfectly. Remembering his rules, he could also be the one who gets a penalty for wearing clothes that heated you in that way.

You couldn't think much more because the moment you tried to look down, he found you appreciating him. "Y/N, your turn." Your body temperature rose as you heard your name come out of his mouth. Your hands were shaking and wouldn't cooperate in being able to properly grasp the sheet of paper, so you just rested it on your desk to avoid further embarrassment.

"Sometimes I wonder what you did to keep me so mesmerized. My fingers are tired, but they wouldn't endure a night without replacing your place, giving me that feeling I want you to give me but it's probably impossible for you to give it to me." He absolutely gave you the worst part. "My body is possessed and my lower part unties crystalline threads forced to leave consequences of everything I thought about you last night. Oh, believe me, I used to see you as such a nice guy, but after those events passing in front of you was a real grief, because I had created a perspective of you that no one was going to prove to me if it was true or not." Who did this remind you of? Yes, you.

You didn't feel Jake's presence so close to you, surprising you when you found him by your side. "C’mon, keep going." This man wanted to kill you.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable, my heart is pumping a thousand times an hour, my voice is cracking and making sounds that even I can't understand, my legs are shaking, my mind is dizzy. I don't know what I should do to fulfill my fantasy, I don't know if I should just love you a little less, but the desire is irresistible enough for you to leave me stranded longing for how much…” You didn't know how to read what was coming. “…my crotch calls your name."

You wanted Jake not to be looking at you and you had let yourself get carried away in the reading, never mind that some of your classmates laughed because they couldn't handle their immaturity. "Kayla, can you please keep reading?" Jake thankfully moved away from you, although you felt the temperature change because having him by your side kept you warm, the cold wind breeze made you get goosebumps.

The reading lasted the entire hour, but the class was over, indicating that it was time to talk to Jake alone. "For the next class we will do a question activity that will go into the exam, so if it’s necessary read the text again." At the end of the sentence, the bell rang indicating the time change.

"Wait for you at the exit." As you started putting your things in your backpack, you heard your friend said that behind you. Without waiting for a response from you, she withdrew with her classmates. From your desk you watched him very carefully, detecting every movement. As everyone left the classroom, he found himself closing the blinds on the windows that reflected the hallways, giving you hints that this was going to get weird. When no student was left in the classroom, only you, he closed the door.

"Come here." he sat down in his seat, manspreading, in front of his desk, which still had some of his belongings on top of it. He took off his glasses, taking that to mean that he had let you see a more youthful part of him, since although he was a man of almost 40 years old, he kept up quite well for his age.

"Explain yourself, why that kind of clothes again?" he grabbed a silk scarf and began to clean the lenses of his glasses, paying more attention to them being free of any stains than to your presence. "Well, I've had some problems with the washing machine this week and all the clothes that… cover me the most are dirty."

"Can't you borrow clothes from your friends like you did yesterday?" were you a little surprised with the advice he gave you, had he really heard everything? "Yes... But I don't understand what's wrong with the clothes." he raised his head to look you in the eye, making you feel small in front of him.

"In a school context it's not okay to dress the way you do, miss, for some reason it's in the pedagogical contract, isn't it?" you nodded. You folded your arms to try to cover yourself because of the embarrassment you had acquired from how he was talking to you, he really looked angry. "Also, personally, it's too distracting for me."

Did he really say it? Did you hear that right? Is it the same strict and innocent teacher you've had for years? Yes, he was. You were too stunned to speak. It wasn't in your plans to respond to him and he noticed, so he continued to tease you, putting on his glasses and again standing up to surround you.

"You know how I am, a perfectionist guy, I don't like not to be focused and have my classes go wrong." Jake used to speak in a very loud voice when talking in class, but when he whispered low in your ear you couldn't resist starting to melt, and not metaphorically, because a patch of moisture started to mark on your panties. "Mr. Sim..."

"Call me Jake... You don't want that either, do you?" he interrupted, making a gap of time between sentences. "No," you replied submissively, thinking that something else might happen. "Then start wearing more appropriate clothes or I'll have to rip these clothes off of you on my own. If you want to be half-naked in my class, that's how you will be." He acted naturally, as if it was normal what he had told you, he just walked away from you and started putting his stuff in his briefcase. "You can go." he ended the conversation, unaware that he had stunned you in front of him.

You quickly grabbed your backpack, and with quick steps you walked out of the classroom, slamming the door. He didn't know what was causing you, he wasn't aware of what he was doing to you.

You were really going to need a good fingering session when you got home.

His phrase was repeated in your mind over and over again, to the point of not letting you sleep. It was 5 A.M. and you kept imagining how your miniskirt was torn by him, how his fingers buried themselves in your skin leaving marks that couldn't disappear for days, his dick pushing inside you fitting perfectly to his thickness.

The fingering session was already done, but were you going to be able to look him in the eye after what happened? Of Course not.

Sleeping late paid off when you woke up at 2 p.m., clearly realizing you missed college. When you grabbed your cell phone from the bedside table, the first thing that popped on the screen were the thousands of messages from your best friend, who when you saw everything she sent you you could be a spectator of all her mood swings when she saw that you were not there. From despair to resignation.

you: im alright girl, ive jst fallen asleep

You didn't really have to do anything during the day, so you just had to decide between two options. One, lying in bed all day watching series and worrying about getting a good night's sleep. Or two, take care of your house, clean up, restock your cupboards and fridge, call someone to fix your washing machine. As the first option sounded tempting, the second was an obligation, so whether you wanted to or not you had to fulfill it.

Suddenly, your house was shiny. You took the whole afternoon to leave every space in your home aesthetically pleasing. Now it was time to go to the supermarket, since your cupboards were completely empty and you were feeding yourself on deliveries.

"Everything was easier when I lived with Mom." you said to yourself. You made the grocery list as you wandered around the kitchen, seeing what was missing and what wasn't. When you were done, you put the small sheet of paper in your pocket and left your house, ready to walk the 10 blocks to the supermarket.

You had the option of calling a taxi, or even taking the bus, but you just had more fun walking and enjoying the view of the streets of your city. Regretting the outfit you had decided to go out with, the wind hit harder and it started to cool down, but you weren't going to be embarrassed on the street so you just hid, trying not to tremble even though your legs showed goosebumps.

A familiar voice rang in your ears as you waited for the traffic light to change, it was in front of you. "Miss Y/N?" Shit, it was him. "Hello, Mr. Sim." he was inside his car, clearly waiting for the traffic light to change. "What are you doing?" his poker face was indispensable to you, it seems like forgetting everything he said to you yesterday, when you couldn't get that out of your mind. "Just gonna buy some stuff." You tried to talk as little as possible. "Do you want me to give you a ride to the market?"

"No, thank you very much, you don't have to." you shook your head with a smile, respecting the elder. "Don’t worry about it, please get in." Even though yesterday's embarrassment was still intact, you were already inside his car, and luckily he kept an eye on making sure the atmosphere was pleasant. "You missed classes today, didn't you?" the conversation began, without taking his eyes off the route.

"How do you know?" your gaze went from the window to seeing his face draw a smirk. "I didn't see you all day, plus I had to talk to your friend about the assignments she didn't turn in and she told me you hadn't come." You smiled a little at his concern, however you didn't hesitate to make a joke. "Pretty sure it was for you to scold me for the clothes I wore."

"What happened yesterday..." He clearly realized the mistake he made, and you decided to behave just like him. "Explain yourself." his face changed completely, but honestly it wasn't that you were paying attention to, it was his hands gripping the steering wheel. "It wasn't appropriate, I got angry, I'm so sorry." Even though you weren't looking at him, you could feel his eyes staring at you, showing that he was serious. But no, you couldn't forgive him when you loved what he had told you.

"Exactly, for the school context it wasn't appropriate..." He was silent. "But I don't know why you apologize when I've never told you that I was upset by what you told me."

"Isn't that comment I made offensive to a woman?" You were very close to the market, alarming you that you had to stop talking to him, but you didn't want that. "I don't remember what you told me, would you remind me?" he shook his head, parking the car in front of the market waiting for you to get out. "Come on, I'll wait for you here until you're done."

"Mr. Sim, you don't ha-" "Jake." he interrupted. "Jake, you don't have to." you insisted, to make sure that when you get home you can have the same routine you had yesterday. "I'm not going to let you go alone." Well, you admitted, it sounded cute, it made your cheeks a little red, your blood boil, and your core moist, but only a little bit.

Anyway, you got out of the car and took the list of products out of the pocket of your jacket, again the same jacket you wore for three consecutive days, because something you loved to be was outfit repeater. You needed milk, cereal, yogurt, fruit, meat, and some other things that were on the supermarket shelves. Luckily it didn't take you more than 20 minutes to grab everything and go to the checkout, where they also did everything very quickly.

You had filled two bags, which you put in the back seats of Jake's car, and then returned to your seat. "You did it fast." he had been a little startled to see you arrive again, since his attention was exclusively on his cell phone. "Yeah, I didn't want to make you wait long." He put his cell phone in his pants pocket and started the car again. "I already told you I don't care, princess." Him talking to you casually and calling you 'princess', this was your chance to start picking up those hints and returning them to him.

"I don't have to do anything now, so I can be your personal chauffeur if you want." His request didn't sound bad, but it's not like you had to do anything on a thursday afternoon. "Do you want to go somewhere else?" you shook your head, always maintaining eye contact with him. "Then let's go home." He looked at the traffic light, which turned the light green and sped up his speed. "My house?" you asked, confused by what he meant by home, to which he simply laughed. "Not your house, my house."

"For what?" was a forced but discreet invitation. "I hang out with quite a few of my students sometimes." Ouch, that meant you weren't the only one. "And it would be interesting to talk with you in my living room."

Jake got out of the car and opened your door for you to get out of the car. He lived in a building, that if you looked up it was impossible to count the number of floors it had. It already looked luxurious, but when you went to the lobby your theories that this man had a lot of money were nothing short of being true. You both got into the elevator and he pressed button number 15. You looked in the elevator mirrors to see if your makeup had smudged or if there was any imperfection on your face, and at some point you felt like Jake was giving you little glimpses.

When you left, in front of the elevator was his apartment. He took the keys out of his pants pocket and opened the door, letting you see one of his most intimate things, his home. It was quite modern inside, but you wondered if he had any special rooms in which he kept books, as any literature professor would. You started hearing footsteps in the distance, and you were terrified, until Jake said: "Layla!"

A rather large dog appeared in your field of view, overjoyed at the arrival of her owner. Jake bent down to pet her as the blonde dog licked his face to welcome him into her home. You found the scene very tender. "Come on, welcome to Y/N." he patted his tail and stood up, meanwhile he began to get rid of all the excess clothes he had, leaving only a white shirt. Then you paid attention to the dog, who was in front of you wagging her tail from side to side, finally you imitated Jake, bending down to pet her as well.

"Hey girl." she stuck out her tongue but unlike her owner, she didn't lick you. You ran one of your hands over her head and smiled as she closed her eyes to enjoy your cuddles. "Such a beautiful girl." Then you got up and looked at your teacher, who was with his arms crossed enjoying the scene reflected through his glasses.

"Do you like wine?" his question took you by surprise. "Not at all, why?" you confessed. You weren't a big fan of alcohol in general, but the scene you had in your head about what could happen tonight was something you didn't know if you could do sober, so wine could help. "I see." He started to walk and you just stood there watching him as he left, not feeling your presence near him he looked at you and made a gesture for you to follow him, so you obeyed.

His kitchen was immense, you could say it was a bit useless to have such a house when he spent more time in college than in his own home, but you weren't going to judge because he could do whatever he wanted with his money. The place had two doors, maybe you thought it could be a pantry, but two? "I have variety, some are soft, maybe you'll like them." Well, you were wrong, it wasn't a pantry, it was a winery. He opened the tinted glass door and turned on the light. The space was small, but the brown color of the shelves that held the bottles could make the space look a little more open.

"You can tell that you really like wine." Your comment made him smile. "Actually, before I started working in schools I was a sommelier." he told you, blowing your mind with his confession, you definitely needed to know more. "It's a pretty fine profession." you said, watching as Jake began to look at the bottles, occasionally grabbing one to see its brand. "What would you like to start with?"

"Choose for me, have no idea about wines." He grabbed two bottles and then both of you walked out of the cellar. In the middle of the kitchen he had a table made of marble, on which he rested the two wines and a glass. You sat and watched him uncork the wine, how his hands were so agile to have the cork in his hands in such a short time and serve you the wine in the glass in such a professional way. "What's this?"

"Oliver, Sweet red lime." handed you the cup. "It's made by concord grapes, it's pretty smooth so you'll probably taste like grape juice." You smelled a little bit of its essence, it didn't smell that bad but you did smell the smell of alcohol. "I've never drunk alcohol before." Jake laughed. "Then you would feel the alcohol." You kept pretending to take a sip. "Aren’t you gonna drink?” the cup brushed your lips, very close to the liquid touching your tongue. "Would you feel safer if I drink with you?" you nodded your head and smiled behind him as he got up from his chair to fetch another drink. When he returned, he poured himself some wine and held his glass to yours.

“Cheers” The glasses collided with each other, giving you the confidence to take the first sip, the second as well, and well... also the third. He looked at you attentively at your expressions, clearly to see if the wine had been to your taste, but you didn't pay attention to it when you finally had it looking at you as he did at the insignificant materials that had concentrated him. "What do you think?" you cleared your throat, in which the bitter taste of alcohol clearly stuck to it. "I thought it was going to be smoother, I felt the alcohol a lot."

"Do you want to try the other one?" "Let's go.", as much as you didn't like it, you took the last sip you had left to empty the glass. Jake repeated the same steps as the previous one when he opened it and again gave you the cup, and then poured himself into his glass. "This one is Purple Toad, it's quite similar to the other one but it has a particular flavor, if you guess what it is you have a prize."

“What kind of prize?” without waiting for you, Jake had already taken a sip. "You'll see later." You rolled your eyes and drank the wine, this one being much friendlier in taste. "I like this one better. It's smooth, the alcohol feels less." "Can you guess what it tastes like besides grape?" You took the last sip of the wine and stared at the glass for a few seconds, or at least until your taste buds guess the taste camouflaged in this liquid. "Blueberries maybe." "You're a pretty smart girl sometimes."

"Sometimes? Alright, what's my prize?" you felt a sexual tension in the air, but at the same time you thought you were exaggerating since you found it very difficult to fulfill your fantasies at this time of year. "Do you remember the text we read yesterday?" Your smile melted as you saw how he changed the subject so quickly. You nodded your head and without asking he grabbed your glass again to put some more wine in it, you agreed and went back to drinking some. "I felt embarrassed having to read that part in front of everyone.” you confessed, trying to sound like a claim. "You didn't look embarrassed, you narrated it pretty well." "Did I narrate it right?"

"It felt good to hear it come out of your mouth." Being a literature teacher, his vocabulary must be much more extensive and he would use words correctly and directly. But this left you even more confused. "Jake..." "You were thinking about me as you read it, weren't you?"

Should you get into him? Should you tell him everything you fantasized about or the times you sinned thinking about him? as your fingers worked hard to satisfy you from the uncontrollable desire trying to replace him. It was always him, which also didn't give you time to think about the consequences of that decision.

Jake dared to look at you after a while, you did the same. His eyes shone through a lustful gaze, as if you were the mouse and he was the wolf. "You're very obvious, did you know that?" You didn't like his game at all, you got up from your chair and started walking out of the kitchen, although since the apartment was very large you didn't remember well where you had to get out.

"Where are you going?" You didn't realize that Jake had followed you into the living room. "I can't stand people teasing me." Since he was behind you, it was easy to chain his arm around your waist preventing you from escaping, at the same time laughing at you very close to your ear. "You've got a lot of character, huh. I'll stop teasing you if you let me make you feel good." You stopped forging to break free of his grip and waited for him to keep talking, looking at him through your shoulder.

"How?" He felt how your body was relieved, the hand that was on your waist was tracing invisible patterns on your skin, which was destined for your pelvis. "Do you remember the text? 'The desire is irresistible enough for you to leave me stranded longing for how much my crotch calls your name.'" His voice kept having side effects on you, creating goosebumps for the fresh mint on his breath. "Do you think my crotch calls your name?"

"I'm not just a literature professor and a retired sommelier, darling. I know a lot about body language." You definitely liked smart men, this was turning into something else and you were enjoying it so bad. "So if I have your consent..." "Yes." you interrupted him in desperation. "Yes?" you couldn't stand being behind him and having to continue to endure his scent without being able to see him, so you turned around, raised your head to be able to look him in the eyes despite the height differences. “You have my consent.”

As much as your hands ran down his neck, he reacted much faster, placing his hands on both of your thighs and lifting you, without even applying force, looking like you were a light bag of feathers.

The first kiss you had with him felt magical, an experience never experienced before. While the guys you kissed at parties didn't do too badly. Instead, Jake, an older, experienced man, you knew he could make you feel better, that he did it better. The second kiss was passionate. It had that spark that the first one didn't have, making you surrender at his feet more than you already were. And finally, the third one, he made you understand why you were like this for him. So high by physical and sexual attraction that you suddenly felt that his lips didn't need to be on yours, but on another part of your body where the attention needed was stronger.

You didn't understand when you both entered his room. He slammed the door and with clumsy steps made his way to the bed, where he deposited your body, which was not so far from nakedness. Crop top, shorts, that stupid jacket, all very accessible so that in less than five minutes Jake has you at his disposal.

Both of you broke away from the kiss and started paying attention to each other. He took some time to look at your needy face, especially your pink cheeks, your physical build, your hair that slowly began to tousle as the action increased. On the other hand, you paid attention to his foggy glasses, his lips soaked with a thin layer of his mixed saliva, how part of his chest showed through the opening of his shirt, and above all, his hands. They were your favorite and visible part of his body. Long fingers, knuckles with a pink smudge that you loved, a good shape and above all the veins that decorated it.

You grabbed one of them and began to adore its torso. "Such veiny hands." your comment did not go unnoticed by Jake, who knew perfectly well in what sense it was going. The same hand you were holding went straight to your neck, not squeezing it, just decorating it as if it were a necklace. "Do you like veiny hands?" you nodded your head as best you could, as his hand was immobilizing you a bit, but you didn't complain. "It just makes me wonder if your dick is as veiny as your hands."

"We haven't even started and you're already thinking about my cock? You, dirty whore." Deep down you knew he liked your comment, just as you liked him calling you a whore. You'd let him degrade you and call you out in every way possible to make you his. "It's not the first time I've done it, anyway." Jake forced his hand on your neck and brought your face a little closer to attack him again with that kissing combo he had prepared for you.

Your hands lightly touched the buttons of his shirt, not at all ready to unbutton them, however soon you lost the embarrassment and his shirt was completely open, leaving his torso exposed and the necklace that decorated his body was released, slowly touching your collarbones while you panted on his lips when you felt the cold of the metal.

The hand that was on your neck, traced a line down the middle of your body, slowly going down towards the end of your crop top, which Jake didn't pull out but did lift it. "No bra, that’s why your nipples were visible." His thumb went straight to your mouth to lubricate and he began massaging your left nipple in circles, which soon became sensitized and hard. "It's what dirty whores do, isn't it?" again he pressed your lips to his to shut you up, forcing your tongue to rub against his.

Jake stood up and finished taking off his shirt, throwing it somewhere in his room, at the same time unzipping his pants as well. You watched him attentively to his movements, enjoying it as if it were a striptease, but he was not the only one who was undressing, since in a quick movement your boobs were exposed to him, who although he was busy doing something else could not help but bite his lip when he finally saw beyond your body.

Already bare-chested, he lunged back at you without dropping his full weight, tactically catching your lips again. "This is what you do with your students when you hang out with them?" as he interrupted each word, he gasped on your lips, and the sound was so delicious that you didn't need to hear it much longer to feel your folds brush against the cold, wet fabric of your panty. "Not really." didn't sound confident, but he didn't stop the physical contact. "Many of the students I hanged out were attracted to me, but none were as fortunate as you to be in your shoes." You understood his need to make you jealous, but as much as you wanted to ask him thousands of questions about those students, you simply gave him a smile.

The talk that had flowed in between the kisses caused Jake to despair, not realizing that when you kissed him again he was simply in boxers. It was melange gray, and you wanted to believe that he had put it on purpose to mark his bulge, which by the way, you thought was impossible for him to enter through your hole.

You didn't want to look desperate, so you began a trip of rubbing that started with his collarbones, ran all over his chest and abdomen, his pelvis was not missing and finally, the part you were desperate to touch. His massive dressed cock. Jake didn't push your touch away but your lips did, pulling his head back. "I barely touched it." you tease him. To contradict yourself, you wrapped your palm around his dick, unable to fully grip him because his boxers avoided gripping. "You're touching it too much right now."

From Jake's mouth came faint puffs of air and sounds that were inaudible but only your receptive core understood. "Can I ask you something?" his voice sounded so good when he was agitated. You nodded, waiting for him to speak. "Have you ever done a facejob?" you were left on the bed processing his question. You didn't know what it was until you understood why its name, handJOB, blowJOB...

"No, but I can try." You couldn't see his reaction because at the same time your eyes went to his boxers, which were no longer a hindrance and a block to see his cock. "So pretty and so willing." You were really amazed at how beautiful it was visually. His tip was pink and it was moistened by precum, you swore it could have the same texture as his lips.

"What should I do?" you asked. "Spit," Jake ordered, putting the palm of his hand in front of your mouth, you let out a spit that he used to lubricate its length. "Just close your eyes, or don't do it, the way you want, unless you want to get conjunctivitis."

"Have you done it before?" he nodded, "May I know with who?" he tugged at his member gently, grabbed your face, appreciating your doggy eyes, which for some reason made him shudder. "I don't see the need to make the environment uncomfortable by answering that question." Even though he was self-stimulating, his voice was firm and thick, not like it had been a while ago. As time went by, you became aware of his many facets.

"I don’t mind to know, just curious." His hand went down to your neck to handle you more easily. "My ex-wife." “Did she like it?" he shook his head "We tried it once and she thought it didn't feel right so it wasn't repeated, but I held out for several years without a facejob." He was dying of urgency and his face showed it, so you grabbed the hand that was pumping his dick and brought it close to your face. "Let me make you feel good then."

You lay on your back and Jake stood on top of you, exactly right next to your face. He patted his dick on your face a couple of times, unexpectedly his hand grabbed the entirety of your face, warning you to close your eyes. He kept his member clinging to your features, soaking them and keeping a gentle rhythm for the time being.

Jake, even though his head was pulled back, his eyes were still riveted on you. He let out a few giggles camouflaged with gasps because of how tender you looked trying to open your mouth to stick out your tongue and take care of the lower part of his neck. He had to capture that image, and he couldn't do it just in that moment, he needed it forever.

His pants were very close to him, so when he saw them accessible he moved his body a bit, not enough to stop pleasing himself on you but to grab his pants, where his cell phone was in his pocket. "Are you okay with me filming you?" He would talk to you while you were under him, you could barely talk but you managed to be able to answer him. "If you promise to do nothing wrong with that video." With just a few taps to the screen, he opened the camera, focusing on your face and tapping the button to start the video.

He kept expelling precum from his tip, depositing every drop on your face. You had been grateful that he had advised you to close your eyes, otherwise you might have thrown a tantrum because you felt your eyes burn. He grunted under his breath, enjoying what he couldn't in so many years.

From time to time you would open your mouth in an attempt to catch his cock with your tongue, but it was simply useless because he tried his best not to let you, even though your desperation captivated him, turning your desires into commands. His hand stopped pressing against your face and finally pulled its length into your mouth.

As you were still underneath him, there was very little ability to move that you had, but it wasn't impossible, you were optimistic and it was too hot a time for you to give up on doing something so quickly. You moved your neck back and forth trying to get your throat used to his length so you could take it all, but you were right when you thought it wasn't going to fit in your mouth.

Jake pulled it out of your mouth and started jerking it off with his hand, returning it back to the starting position they had. "You don't have to take it all if you can't." His cell phone was still in his hands, but it wasn't pointed at you. "I've taken bigger dicks." you lied, you tried to make him jealous. His was definitely the biggest you'd ever experimented with. "I just haven't fucked in months." brushed his tip over your lips. The fluids between the two of you were enough to make this scene the most disgusting you've ever seen and his member easily enter your oral cavity again.

He cut the video, throwing his cell phone to the side of the bed, and with that same hand he grabbed your head tightly over your hair to finally be able to cum in your mouth, which if it wasn't for his composure, he could not have tolerated it and would have already cum within five seconds of you having let yourself be fucked by your mouth.

Which he did, because he couldn't stand it any longer, painting your whole throat with his load. Jake grunted under his breath, growing weak because his body was shaking like jelly. Jake's face was close to yours, and you grabbed him and pulled him closer, connecting to each other with a kiss mixed with saliva and his own cum, which he clearly didn't reject.

His hand went over your anatomy again even though his mouth is close to yours. His fingers found the seam of your shorts, which soon came down at the same time as your panties. Both pieces of clothing fell to the floor, now leaving you completely exposed, unconsciously brushing his tip on your clit, which soon slipped due to the humidity that invaded it.

"Please do something?" you asked, feeling overwhelmed by every touch he gave you. "Jake I need you so much, please stop torturing me." Jake put a smile on his face just hearing your words, then he played with you by smashing his huge cock against your tense and sensitive pussy.

"What do you want?" he asked. "If you don't use words, I'll stop here." You began to gasp as you shook your head from side to side. "No, no, please." "Tell me what you want, baby girl." You thought twice about your words before opening your mouth to avoid stuttering. "Please, fuck me." your faces were so close that you could still smell the grapes and alcohol that his mouths expelled. "Make me yours."

"You were mine a long time ago." That phrase was sensual enough to captivate you again and attack his lips in response, at the same time you felt how the space of your entrance was replaced by his length. A sudden moan vibrated between the lips of the two of you, but unfortunately his dick didn't go all in at once.

"You're going to take it all," you nodded desperately, gasping for breath as his cock moved and filled you completely. But no matter how small your hole is, you couldn't refuse his requests, you had to do what he told you and get your pretty pussy used to his size. One of his hands met one of your breasts by surprise, causing your nipples to stiffen no matter how hot Jake's hand was.

"Jake.." you groaned, not knowing that you were causing him crazy by talking to him like that. You were so lubricated by your natural fluids that it became easy for Jake to move inside you, and in turn bury himself deeper into you, finally making his entire member occupy your cunt. "Just like that.. Fuck."

You threw your head back when you bit your lip, but it was in vain, for every thrust caused countless incoherent gasps to come out of your mouth. He still didn't do it to the point of making you scream and cry, even though he looked like he fucked like that. It was still a pleasant pain, but never experienced before.

"You can tell you're enjoying this." Your eyes rolled back as I increased the speed. Out of inertia, your hand grabbed the arm with which it was held so as not to drop all his weight on top of you, squeezing his bare muscle leaving your nails marked. "Fuck yeah." you couldn't stop squealing and you really felt on the edge, Jake had noticed it by how your walls squeezed him, making him very close to painting your gummy walls white as well.

The force he applied gradually became more abrupt, although, actually it wasn't necessary to make you hot, as his entire presence made you blush and drip. "How much did you want this?" growled Jake over you. The thrusts continued at his pace, but it seemed to you that it was something you could no longer contain.

He finally did. He brought all of its length into you.

"A lot." incomprehensible. "I don't hear you, pretty. Say it again," he ordered. His other hand went to your naked clitoris, which was hard and tender from the heat you had picked up since you arrived at his house. "I've waited a long time for this." Jake couldn't stand much either, because the movements of his hand were silly and he kept fucking you like a fucking beast.

You didn't help him much either by moaning at him how much you wanted him. Your body trembles, your mind becomes dizzy, it is impossible to speak or do anything in this state of madness, so finally his hand was covered by a glowing layer of poisonous lust. The humidity helped him to make his movements frequent, the heat of your cave made him finally discharge inside you.

When he came out of you, you were finally able to take the first breath of air so that you could regulate yourself. Jake kept his gaze on your shiny pussy, which for some reason was acting in the same way you did, expelling from your hole what Jake had left inside.

You threw your head back and stopped feeling tense, closed your eyes and discovered what calm was. "How do you feel?" you kept your eyes closed but you felt the mattress sink next to you, letting you know that Jake had lied down with you. "Did you like it?" you shuddered to feel him so close to your ear, but it also made you laugh.

"It felt really good Jake" you opened your eyes to see him. He was sweating, that shiny layer that abounded on his face premonished more on his lips, making them look more pompous. And of course, more kissable. "This will make you forgive me for wearing miniskirts?"

Apparently you know how to manifest or something like that, but Sim's lips again connected with yours. "You know I love your miniskirts." He said between kisses. "Why do you get angry when I wear them?" "I don't want people to see you dressed like that." He stopped kissing for a second to get a good look at you closely. "If you come here, I don't have a problem with you to wear them." You laughed at his jealousy scene.

"But I want you to know that will still lower your grades." He got out of bed and started looking for his boxers. You tried not to laugh when you saw that he still a little bit hard, feeling dirty about it. "Jake, come on.” You leaned on your arms and watched Jake as he put on his boxers. "When you learn to dress properly, I will forgive you. Now, ass up sunshine, let's go to sleep."

You woke up early, so early that you could find Jake still sleeping peacefully. His arm was wrapped around your entire body, and the force he exerted on you made it impossible for you to break free from his grip. You managed to pull out an arm, which you used to grab your cell phone and see the time, 5:30 A.M.

When you were finally able to get out of bed, you get dressed again, making sure you didn't make too much noise so you wouldn't wake him up. You saw him for the last time, appreciating how he pouted as he let out little snores, thinking he looked very cute that way.

You ran away from his department, thankful he didn't notice. When you left the apartment you felt that it was still night, as it was dark and there was absolutely no one roaming the streets at that time. Then you remembered that you had both come here by car, and you realized that your house was too far away to walk alone, so you simply asked for an uber.

The minutes passed, you had already checked instagram, tiktok, twitter, snapchat, and still the cell phone bored you, all because the damn uber didn't arrive. 6 A.M., at this point you imagined that Jake had already woken up and realized that you had practically disappeared, you had also realized that you were already late for college, since at this time you were about to leave your house to catch the bus.

Fortunately, as the sun reappeared, the uber teleported in front of you as if by magic trick. You opened the door and without greeting the driver told him your home address and handed him some bills, no matter the cost.

You rushed out of the car, already prepared with the keys in hand to open the door and close it behind you, not worrying about locking it again. You were thankful that you could live alone, because the noise you were making was something your parents couldn't stand. You undressed and grabbed the first pieces of clothing you saw, you didn't really care anymore if it was provocative clothes or not, you just wanted to wear something suitable for college.

You went to the bathroom and tied your hair up to grab a makeup remover towel and start pulling out the tears with mascara that had left traces of what happened last night, while you were rushing to leave your face clean, you couldn't help but smile a little from the flashbacks. As much as your face had turned red from the force with which you rubbed your face, you didn't care, with the ponytail and your face fresh, you grabbed your backpack and left your house, this time remembering to close the door properly.

You were walking fast to get to the bus stop, which just got there and parked to let some people in. You paid for your ticket and found a window seat to sit on, which is where you left off for the rest of the trip.

You had a two-hour trip to college, so you decided to lay your head on the glass and sleep. The silence of the people showed that they were in the same situation as you, just woken up, not wanting to talk, not wanting to work, not wanting to do anything, so on the other hand you were grateful for the peace to be able to concentrate on being able to coincide with the dream.

The sun's rays went straight into your eyes, but that wasn't the only thing that woke you up, it was also the realization that you had to be on time for your classes. You turned on your phone and panicked. 7:50, you had only ten minutes. You clutched your head in frustration, trying not to rip it off, metaphorically.

In the midst of the desperation to get there early, your best friend sent you a message.

bitch🪽: bitch, where the fuck are u now?

you: IM OMW

you: i just woke up, i wasn't home and i fell asleep late last night

bitch🪽:where have u been?

you: …

you: wait for me to get there

You thought the bus driver would do everything he could so you didn't make it to your first class.

When you arrived in the classroom, Jake's disapproving look on you was something you couldn't help but feel intimidated by, even knowing that you had left him completely alone after everything that had happened last night. "Did you see the time, miss?" You shrugged your arms melting in shame. "My apologies, sir." Jake kept looking at you, but you broke eye contact to go sit in your seat. You did your best to get your things ready and then turn to look at your friend. "I did something wrong yesterday." Her face showed confusion. "But I don't regret about anything."

"What? Did you kill someone?" the way she exaggerated made you shake your head. "Bitch, you didn't tell me anything, what have you done?" you looked sideways, not only paying attention to your classmates, but particularly to the teacher, who for the moment, was not looking at you, feeling relieved. "Professor Sim." your friend's face changed flatly, "Girl, don't tell me that-" "I slept with him." She opened her mouth, but you didn't know exactly if her face showed happiness, surprise, or disapproval of sleeping with someone twice your age. "If I could do it, so could you."

"Nah, he's yours, thank you so much for the offer anyway." "Who told you it was going to be with Jake?" you didn't realize that you raised your voice, catching some glances from your classmates, who were just looking at you like a weirdo. You didn't realize it, but you were hoping that someone didn't listen to you. "I've seen you look at Professor Park during class," you whispered and smirked. "You eat his bulge with your eyes."

Your partner laughed a little. "Maybe... Anyway, it's just an erotic desire." The two of you were shameless to talk about these kinds of topics in public, but you were both willing to break the taboo. "If I were him I'd fuck you, you're too sexy just to exist." The wry compliment you said served to turn his cheeks red. "You flatter me."

"Okay, speaking about Sunghoon, how are you doing with your studies?" You saw her take her stuff out of her backpack while you talked to her, so you took it as advice and started doing the same thing before class started. "I have it under control, but I have a question about some concept." "You already have an excuse to go see him today." You recommended her, knowing full well that he would do it later. Jake's voice echoed throughout the classroom, creating goosebumps, when you turned to pay attention to his class, you were slowly melting in your seat because of how his eyes looked at you, you felt like daggers were coming out of them and they were digging into your skin, because something you knew, It's just that wasn't a look from someone who's happy.

You'd reaffirm it to yourself mentally, you were fucked up.

"How many questions will your exam have?" It was the beginning of the week, while Sunghoon was with his computer corroborating some excels, Jake was near the window facing the outside, smoking a cigarette. "Ten." The atmosphere was quiet despite how Park pressed the keyboard. "There will be seven development questions and three activities." "Can I see?" Jake took his last puff on his cigarette and then threw it out the window, so that it would fall, only God knows where. He walked over to where Sunghoon was centered and lowered his torso slightly so that he could properly see the questions.

What Sunghoon had shown him was a Google docs, and Sim inadvertently diverted his gaze to the bar of pages that Sunghoon had open. "Daddy cums harder... Pussy squirting..." As Jake continued reading, Sunghoon closed the window, showing only the excel presentation, despite his poker face Jake knew him well enough to know he was embarrassed. "I can't believe you have those pages open when you're working."

"It's none of your business, Sim." Jake smiled as he saw Sunghoon's face turn red, it seems like they never had this kind of conversation. "You know I watched that video what you recommended me." Jake moved the chair next to Sunghoon, sitting up and spreading his legs to get into a comfortable position. "What are you talking about?" Sunghoon's eyes were protected by the lenses of his glasses, which did not detach from the screen, but one of his skills was multitasking. "SluttyMila... Did you see her last video?" Jake managed to stop this from being so, Sunghoon's eyes quickly moved to Jake's figure upon hearing that name.

"No, why?" As he waited for Sim's response, his fingers worked on the computer to open google again and search for the Pornhub account. "It's impossible that you didn't watch it, if it became viral." When he opened the page he found the thumbnail in which he was a participant, he tried not to smile at this so he just licked his lips. "It's fucking insane, you have to watch it." Looking at the statistics, he understood what Jake meant.

48M views. 368,7k Likes. 42k Comments.

"I'll watch it when I get home." He was definitely going to do it. It doesn't matter that he starred in it, that he was there to live it, he needed to see that moment from the perspective of an observer. However, it was work time, even though he had been carried away by lust several times, his co-worker was there with him, although he knew him too well to know what was so morbid that perhaps he would be able to jerk off with him in college.

"Do you have to teach later?" Jake shook his head, staring at the ceiling. "I have an hour to spare, I think I'll be left alone scheduling the next class for course C." Jake got up from his chair to go get his briefcase, which when he opened it took out one of the perfumes he carried everywhere, Jo Malone Blackberry & Bay, to cover up the smell of tobacco that had permeated his clothes. "What about you?" Sunghoon's response was immediate, turning off the computer and putting it in his briefcase, then getting up from his chair and heading for the door. "Course A." Exactly, your course.

Sunghoon said goodbye to Jake, leaving him completely alone in the professors room. He had nothing to do, so he simply spent some of his time looking out the window, to the school corridors, until he saw some students loitering. He got up from his seat and opened the door, looking in the direction of both boys, who were astonished to see Jaeyun in the doorframe, characteristically not at his best.

"Don't you have a class to attend, guys?" his voice demanded authority from the frightened looks of both guys. "Y-yes.. I'm sorry," one of them replied. "What's your course?" asked Sim. The guys looked at each other as if to say 'we're fucked up'. "Course B." Without having to say a word, Jake watched the young people vanish from his sight, but the presence of another figure walked in front of him, recognizing who it was and forcing her by his arm into the professors room.

He wasn't aware of the force he applied to your arm, causing you to complain a bit about the pain it had caused. "Jake, that hurt." "Why have you been ignoring me since Wednesday?" he asked authoritatively. Since Jake had treated and looked at you that day, you hadn't liked him at all, even though you knew it was partly your fault for leaving him alone that morning, but you didn't want to face him again. "I'm so sorry, I'm just..." interrupted you. "Give me a reason to know why you left me alone." You had a hot face with embarrassment, staring at the floor tiles because you couldn't look him in the eye, so he just grabbed you by the chin, not putting much force like he did when he grabbed your arm, and forced you to look at him.

"Do I have to repeat myself?" it was in vain what he did, for likewise your dilated pupils remained over the buttons of his shirt. "You don't..." "Then tell me why." "I was embarrassed of what I did." You swallowed hard for lying to him, knowing inwardly that you didn't know why you had done it. "Embarrassed of what?" Jake's hands let you go, now moving away from you to leave you standing trembling as he enjoyed it from a different point of view. "Maybe because not every day I sleep with someone 14 years older than me." to Jake's ears your answer was believable, taking him by surprise because he was also smart enough to know your body language.

"You're a young lady, that doesn't take away from the fact that you're an adult." Jake grabbed the chair he had previously sat in and rested his ass on it again. You watched him move through space, standing still at the only point where you felt comfortable at the time. "Why don't you come here and apologize? You must be mature enough to accept your mistakes." Little by little you moved, around the table and in front of him, keeping your eyes down to look him in the eye. "How can I get you to forgive me?" "Get on your knees." your knees made contact with the floor, however it didn't hurt as much because they were padded by your jeans.

"Wanna know something?" you spoke, as Jake's hand caressed your cheek. "I felt bad about how you looked at me the other day." Jake chuckle underneath, letting out a voice you hadn't heard before, an even deeper voice. "Do you know how bad I felt when you left me in my bed all alone?" To all this, his fingers were still massaging your face, but neither of you was happy. "Being embarrassed is not the same as being a dick." But his hand advanced to the nape of your neck and grabbed your hair, unconsciously you moaned. "Believe me, I have no bad intentions with you, but you make it so difficult for me."

"Do I make it hard for you?" his eyes became so connected that they even electrocuted. "Do I make you hard?" you smiled, feeling Jake's hand loosen your hair, freeing you from his grip. As much as you had his crotch in front of you, it was impossible to see his erection because of his black pants, so you just went up your hand down his legs until you reached his bulge, confirming that yes, he was hard. "You're so disgusting that you don't even ask for my consent." Your mischievous hand made its way to the zipper of his pants, pulling them down and brushing the fly against his painful erection. "You're so disgusting that you don't even mind getting a blowjob at your workplace." Jake licked his lips.

"Who's going to give me a blowjob?" he asked, his lips half-parted. “Me” Without warning Jake's cock was already on the outside, being connected to his boxer by those sharp threads of precum, which were still shooting out of his tip. Jake didn't even stop you, he just looked you in the eye and without saying a word gave you the green card, shaking his head signaling you to start your work.

You were so right. He was a pervert, a disgusting, a completely pathetic man for letting you do this to him in the place where he's supposed to be working. His elbow rested on the table and the hand of that same arm was in charge of supporting his face preventing any kind of sound from coming out of his mouth.

And perhaps he, too, was ashamed for letting a woman much younger than him do this to him, knowing that he could not be satisfied with any woman his age. Not even his ex-wife made him feel this way, so he could spread his legs all day long while you kept your mouth busy making him feel the way he deserved after a long day at work.

Your tongue worked wonders on his dickhead. You knew that he wanted you to go deeper, you could tell by how he looked at you and how he refrained from straining with his hand, he only held your hair to avoid making a curl.

You were going to do whatever you wanted with him, after all, his body language is not an order.

Jake felt his tip throbbing, causing him to growl and close his eyes very tightly and tremble in your presence. "You're doing amazing." He didn't know how to support himself. His head was asking him to stretch back and his pleasure was asking him to keep watching your tongue intertwine in his length. It was even better than watch porn.

Every thought that was going through his head vanished when you finally decided to put a small part of his cock in your mouth. "Even smaller than your tiny dripping pussy, huh?" he said with little force, as he was using it to hold himself in the armrest of his seat.

It didn't even take much effort to get it all the way into your mouth, apparently for Jake it was enough, as his trembling was the warning you had ignored, causing threads of cum to be deposited in your mouth out of nowhere.

Finally, when his charge finished releasing his insides, his hand gently held your chin to force you to look at him. "Swallow it." It took you a while due to your throat still hurting, but you made it, making Jake give you a smile for pleasing him. "You look beautiful with your teary eyes, my sunshine"

At the end of the session, you got up and after this you played a little with Jake, giving him kisses, talking about other subjects.

You missed Professor Park's class, but it was worth it. When the hour passed, you tried to leave but Jake stopped you before you tried to do anything. "Y/N."

"Tell me." You turned your gaze to him. "Do you think you could wait for me in the parking lot?" you saw him curious, waiting for him to keep talking. "Would you come to my house again? Please."

You didn't think twice before speaking again. "Okay, I'll wait for you there, Jae." Jake waited for you to walk out the door so he could weaken himself by the nickname you had given him.

Now your best friend was throwing a tantrum. "Who are you going to go with if not with me?" you felt her jealousy, but you also left laughing at how angry she looked. "Someone's waiting for me."

"Who?" she said, almost shouting, surprised by your confession. "Don't tell me it's..." With what you had told her the other day, it was noticeable that she had already realized who the person you were referring to was. You smiled shyly. "Well, actually I have something to tell you too."

Both made it all the way out of college. You were going back inside to wait for Jake, but you were willing to accompany your friend so she wouldn't be alone. "What happened?" Your friend gave you a big hug, what she usually does before saying goodbye to you, and she didn't say anything, until long seconds later when you saw her walking away to get to the bus stop. "Mr. Park. Check your messages later." You opened your mouth in surprise. From how stunned you were, you could only watch your friend laugh and pick up her pace, doing nothing else. You clearly understood her comment.

Sometimes the best friends’ connection can lead them to have the same anecdote without the other knowing about it.

As surprised as you are, you had something pending. You walked back into the university, specifically in the parking lot. The truth is that you expected Jake to be out of his car waiting for you, but you realized that he wasn't when the luxury car in front of you honked at you, startling you. Even though the windows were tinted you could see a handsome man through them, which made you approach the car and open the door to get in.

"Look at the back seat." Not a 'hello', not a 'how are you?', just orders like the ones he used to give. "They're for you." Seeing the back, you saw a piece of silky but rough, shapeless paper. You grabbed it and turned it over and realized it was a bouquet of flowers. A set of daisies, tulips and lilies, with a letter inside. It gave off a very intense smell, which you liked, you couldn't help but bury your nose in it. "Thank you so much." Jake didn't see you, but you could see him, being privileged to visualize his beautiful smile. "I chose them thinking of you. I'm glad you like them."

My lord, it was impossible for this man to let your breath rest for at least a second.

Before you knew it, they were already down the middle of the street on their way to Jake's house. "Did something happen to your friend? I saw that she was grumbling when you walked with her," he asked. "It's just that we always wait for the bus at the bus stop together," he chuckled. You looked out the window as you continued to smell the scent of flowers brushing against your nose. "This time you also told her that you went with me?"

You raised an eyebrow. "What?" "You two are very loud in class, I think you should speak more quietly." Jake wasn't looking at you, but he could feel the heat you radiated from embarrassment. "Jake, what the fuck did you hear?"

He cleared his throat, "I did something wrong yesterday... But I don't regret abo-" Jake couldn't hold back his laughter as he did his impression, and you didn't let him finish, as you punched him to shut him up. You left the flowers in your lap and looked out the window to avoid making eye contact, even though you were still a little tempted by how Jake had spoken.

"Girl, don't get mad." His voice was distorted because his laughter was still intact. When he finally calmed down he saw that you were still looking out the window, he ran his eyes back to the road and placed his hand on your thigh, which gave you goosebumps. "How about we go out to dinner tonight?" You felt his thumb move back and forth, finally getting you to look at him.

"Together?" Jake nodded. "You don't have to do this just to fuck me properly." You felt like he was joking. "I don't need a luxury dinner to fuck you properly. Besides, that wasn't in my plans, I just wanted to hug you and fall asleep next to you."

You smiled at the calm tone I use to tell you. "Are you serious?" Jake, again, nodded. "Well, you could suck me off..."

He kept one hand on the steering wheel, and hearing those words come out of your mouth, he lightly squeezed the thigh he was holding. "Okay, but only tonight."

– taglist ₊ ˖ ་. @hollyoongs @sunoozznn @sansluvr @simhinata @addictedtohobi @isylvr @gimmeurtummy @japieeey @tasnim10 @rikiwaify-blog @yohanabanana @kenzory @lilyuwon @xiaoderrrr @seochannnn @sumzysworld @enhalover12 @loljaeyunz @belowbun @hearts4itoshi @literallyags @antivenus @linfluenza @wonlvkay @skylaly @whatchulookin2 @river-demon-slayer

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littlemisshyperfixation · 1 month

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Yoongi Fic Recommendations

a - angst f - fluff s - smut

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Series

In the Margins (a s f) ⊹₊⋆ You weren’t sure what he would look like. His writing made you think of a cabin nestled among tall pines, a well-worn cardigan, a scotch neat, and a wistful wisp of smoke seeping into the air from the bowl of an unattended tobacco pipe. What stands before you now is a studio apartment in the city, cigarette butts, coffee stains, and a scowl. There’s definitely been a mistake.

Fix You (f a) ⊹₊⋆ When you take in a stray cat, you have no idea he’s secretly a hybrid trying to escape his past. Can you help him heal?

desolate (a f s) ⊹₊⋆ you just wanted a cute little normal cat to keep you company. so you're not really sure how you ended up with the grumpiest hybrid on earth that seems hellbent on making your life difficult.

One Shots

Set Me Free (a f) ⊹₊⋆ Tired of being told how to live his life and unsure of where he stands in the world, Yoongi--your soulmate--yearns to be free. When you give him what he wants, it causes a rift in your relationship that seems irreparable. 12 years later, you find him back in your life. Can you mend your relationship? Do you even want to?

back-burner (a f s) ⊹₊⋆ sometimes you felt like you were the back-burner of a two-decade-long friendship. how could you ever compete?

Love Language (a s f) ⊹₊⋆ Your boyfriend obviously loves you, but his silence has you questioning if he *wants* you. If you could only get past your damn insecurities maybe you could appreciate what you have.

27 Phone Numbers (f) ⊹₊⋆ Yoongi has gone through twenty-seven phone numbers over the last ten years, and you haven’t changed yours since high school.

sweetner (f s) ⊹₊⋆ You used to know how he sounded when you were wrapped around him, but circumstances have pulled you apart and sent you scattering in opposite directions. Feelings shouldn't reappear so easily by simple words, but when you find yourselves in the same place once again, this is exactly what happens.

One Chance (f) ⊹₊⋆ A musical genius, a guy with a bad reputation, your assigned partner for your final project. And the last thing you ever would have expected.

Seasons Change (a s) ⊹₊⋆ Min Yoongi and you, through the seasons, break up and come back together. Nobody said love was easy.

All That Holly, Jolly Sh*t (a f s) ⊹₊⋆ You haven’t seen or heard from Yoongi since he broke your heart five years ago, laying out a logical list of reasons why you were better off breaking up. When a Christmas Eve blizzard traps you together for the night, you have no choice but to examine how few of those reasons are still true. And if they’re not… where does that leave you?

Now We Reign (a s f) ⊹₊⋆ when working on a collab together makes you and Min Yoongi seek comfort with the other, you discover there’s more to life than loneliness. Only, hurdles mark your path in Min Yoongi’s life, and it’s unclear what the outcome will be. Will you be destroyed by him and his world, or will you learn to reign over it, together with him?

take five (a f) ⊹₊⋆ you're min yoongi's nurse and you have a crush on him, and he gives you five chances to ask him out - he never said anything about accepting though.

The Final - Day 02 (s) ⊹₊⋆ You've been Yoongi's go-to companion for the past few years, well aware that's all you were going to be. Despite your very real, growing feelings for the rapper, you took what you could get every time. Now, you're backstage at day two of the final leg of his tour when another member takes an interest in you. Will it be enough to make Yoongi realize he's got competition?

hello soulmate (f) ⊹₊⋆ your first day on the job doesn't turn out the exact way you envisioned

Sugar Rush Ride (s) ⊹₊⋆ You produced a song based on your hidden desires for your fellow producer and promised yourself that tonight, things would change. You were done pining after him, but then he arrived at the listening party.

fuck being friends (a f s) ⊹₊⋆ as if watching the guy you were hopelessly in love with hook up with another girl each weekend wasn’t enough, he also happened to be your best friend, making things extra complicated. and it only gets worse and worse once he finds you crying in the bathroom at a party one night.

Take One (s f) ⊹₊⋆ There are three things which Yoongi was certain of. One, he was a big star in his field of work. Two, he had a huge cock, one to rival many of the largest names in his industry. Three, he can only find pleasure these days in written word.

Illicit Favors (f s) ⊹₊⋆ When your editor tells you to re-write the chapters of your book because the sex scenes are weak, suggesting you write them from experience, what do you do when you lack any kind of sexual experiences in general? You go to your friend and ask him for help with it.

Bet On It (s) ⊹₊⋆ What's a little wager between enemies? How about if it's your body on the line?

subscribed (s f) ⊹₊⋆ you find out that youtube isn’t the only site he uses to satisfy his subscribers. what do you do with that information?

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dalekofchaos · 3 months

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AU Asami is Amon by nikoniko_808

Give me the forbidden enemies to lovers Korrasami

Okay I wrote up my own au of Asami as Amon

Hiroshi and Asami witnessed the death of Asami’s mother at the hands of the Red Lotus society. Asami swore revenge on all benders. The corruption of Benders has gone too far and Asami and her father cannot let it continue. So they create a movement. The Equalists. Near the end of season 1. Asami would be nowhere to be seen. The Krew believes the Equalists have kidnapped Asami and when Korra confronts Amon, they don’t see her.

Tarrlok is still captured by Amon, when Korra sees him and they chat, he tells the whole story of Amon as it happened in the show to her and everything. Like it goes in the show. Korra and friends go to confront Amon at the arena where Tenzin and his family are about to lose their bending. But they don’t because she gets there in time. She accuses Amon of being a bender, as per Tarrlok’s story. Amon doesn’t unmask. And he isn’t a bender. Tarrlok lied to get Korra to confront Amon so that he could capture her and he could hopefully save his own skin for the service at least. They fight. Amon takes Korra’s bending in a big demonstrative way. So all the crowd can see what comes to any benders, especially The Avatar who stand against him. Then the reveal happens. Asami is Amon.

In order to get her bending back and learn how to give others their bending back (yeah, Korra wouldn’t get it back at the end of Book 1 because consequences? What’re those?), Korra has to go on a quest to learn her bending(her masters would be Toph, Katara, Izumi and Tenzin) in the Spirit World to understand everything. Korra does not cry about loosing her bending because she realized she’s still The Avatar and has to go to The Spirit World to get her bending back, to help everyone get their bending back and stop Asami

Throughout the series, we would meet Kya, Bumi, Izumi, Eska, Desna(Eska and Desna would be Korra’s siblings in this universe, because fuck Unaloq) Opal and Kai. We have the same romance between Bolin and Opal and Jinora and Kai. We would also meet Varrick and Zhu Li, because they are comedy gold. They would all help in the fight against Amon and the Equalists.

In Korra’s venture to the Spirit World,

she would still see Wan’s story(because that’s the only thing I liked about Book 2) and I think in her journey in the spirit world she would see Asami’s story, in which her family were victims of the Red Lotus society and Asami learned to take bending away in the spirit world. Not only that, we would find out that Asami would be bonded with Vaatu. Asami is the darker Avatar.

Before she leaves The Spirit World she connects with all her past lives to ask what she should do about Asami. Korra has her Aang moment where she has too has to decide what to do like he did with the fire lord, only this time there’s more to it than just stopping the bad guy. It’s about the person she loved. She can restore everyone’s bending by reversing Amon’s convergence, but she can’t do that so long as the avatar spirit is split. And as long as Asami is part avatar, she can go into the avatar state. That’s still pretty damn dangerous even with only water and blood bending. Korra realizes the only thing she can do to stop Asami? Love her.

After her journey to relearn her bending and journey in the spirit world, Korra travels the world to gain allies. From the Fire Nation, Earth Kingdom, Water Tribes and Air Nomads. Korra unites the world against Amon and the Equalists.

In the final fight, Korra defeats Amon. She exorcises Vaatu from Asami, thus ending the dark Avatar and stopping Amon’s convergence. She reverses what Asami has done and uses it to restore everyone’s bending. So she has to come to the hard part. Amon makes it clear, no matter what, even without the ability to energy bend or without Vaatu, Amon will never stop, Benders will never be safe. Korra shows Asami what she was denied. Korra loves her and forgives her. Asami gives up and accepts whatever punishment.

During Book 3, Asami would work with Korra in stopping and killing the Red Lotus society. However, when Zaheer is stopped. He is left at the mercy of Asami and for everything he’s done and turned her into. Asami kills him.

Book 4 happens. Asami’s redemption is rebuilding Republic City and using Future Industries to repair the damage she’s done as Amon. Blah blah blah Korra stops Kuvira blah blah. Asami earns her redemption and the love of Republic City, the krew and more importantly Korra. Ends with Korra and Asami venturing in the Spirit World and ends with a kiss.

#Legend Of Korra #Korra #Asami Sato #Korrasami #Amon #Equalist!Asami #Equalist Asami

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ziracona · 1 year

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Me rewatching every Wednesday scene the lesser bad is in trying to figure out how tf I think Hydes work and what their motivation was for every single thing they did all season and if it was really 2 people in that head or just 1, or 2 early on but only 1 later in the season or-

#wednesday #wednesday netflix #I need LORE answers!!! like I have my theories and I could guess but I /cannot/ tell if there’s a switch. because the tells of one /are/#there? especially in the big reveal scene??? but they also proved they can act like fkn Dame Julie Andrews so it could /easily/ be more #performance but if so then what happened? is the original subsumed? buried? did they just /change/? THAT drastically that fast? what about #the questions of free will because it doesn’t seem to exist for a Hyde and that /by necessity/ HAS to have interplay with persona and #personhood. I have so many questions about the motive for so many actions. I have guesses but I want to KNOW. if there was no free will with #a master what happens to a Hyde with the master dead? does it keep following the last command forever? get a new master? become more free #and like a person again? it’s not that they don’t tell it’s that they make a /marked point/ of saying even the most knowledgeable scholar on #Hydes didn’t even know if they basically became a machine or not after the transformation. and that’s a HUGE deal I want to KNOW. how does #the mind control work? directly? more like compulsion? does it change over time? how long did it take to break someone and make them an #enslaved Hyde? does this change by individual? do they have to follow orders but after on their own volition when not already obeying a #command? what the hell could existence be like if not? why don’t they resent the master? or do they? /can/ they? I want LORE ANSWERS DAMN IT #wednesday spoilers #The name implies the original is still buried inside there and you’ve got two separate personas but that doesn’t /mean/ it’s how it works.#doesn’t mean it’s not either though. can they be cured? or learn control? or is it novel reminiscent and you off yourself or become the #monster forever? I need to know I need to know I need to KNOW #obviously most of the actions are mind-control in some form but how the hell does it specifically WORK. *hitting the wall with my black #sharpie so hard the ink goes eveywhere* TELLL MEEEEEE #rip go Wednesday but if I thought someone might have a normal perosna and one that might eat me I would try to figure out if they could help #vs themself in a fight since you don’t know it wouldn’t work and I would NOT chain them to a chair and torture them to try to draw out the #monster like yes u need proof but the ways that could go wrong are so /catastrophically/ wrong did you /read/ Frankenstein? love u girl but #think 18 steps ahead plan for the battle after this one too

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nostalgebraist · 1 year

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Honestly I'm pretty tired of supporting nostalgebraist-autoresponder. Going to wind down the project some time before the end of this year.

Posting this mainly to get the idea out there, I guess.

This project has taken an immense amount of effort from me over the years, and still does, even when it's just in maintenance mode.

Today some mysterious system update (or something) made the model no longer fit on the GPU I normally use for it, despite all the same code and settings on my end.

This exact kind of thing happened once before this year, and I eventually figured it out, but I haven't figured this one out yet. This problem consumed several hours of what was meant to be a relaxing Sunday. Based on past experience, getting to the bottom of the issue would take many more hours.

My options in the short term are to

A. spend (even) more money per unit time, by renting a more powerful GPU to do the same damn thing I know the less powerful one can do (it was doing it this morning!), or

B. silently reduce the context window length by a large amount (and thus the "smartness" of the output, to some degree) to allow the model to fit on the old GPU.

Things like this happen all the time, behind the scenes.

I don't want to be doing this for another year, much less several years. I don't want to be doing it at all.

----

In 2019 and 2020, it was fun to make a GPT-2 autoresponder bot.

[EDIT: I've seen several people misread the previous line and infer that nostalgebraist-autoresponder is still using GPT-2. She isn't, and hasn't been for a long time. Her latest model is a finetuned LLaMA-13B.]

Hardly anyone else was doing anything like it. I wasn't the most qualified person in the world to do it, and I didn't do the best possible job, but who cares? I learned a lot, and the really competent tech bros of 2019 were off doing something else.

And it was fun to watch the bot "pretend to be me" while interacting (mostly) with my actual group of tumblr mutuals.

In 2023, everyone and their grandmother is making some kind of "gen AI" app. They are helped along by a dizzying array of tools, cranked out by hyper-competent tech bros with apparently infinite reserves of free time.

There are so many of these tools and demos. Every week it seems like there are a hundred more; it feels like every day I wake up and am expected to be familiar with a hundred more vaguely nostalgebraist-autoresponder-shaped things.

And every one of them is vastly better-engineered than my own hacky efforts. They build on each other, and reap the accelerating returns.

I've tended to do everything first, ahead of the curve, in my own way. This is what I like doing. Going out into unexplored wilderness, not really knowing what I'm doing, without any maps.

Later, hundreds of others with go to the same place. They'll make maps, and share them. They'll go there again and again, learning to make the expeditions systematically. They'll make an optimized industrial process of it. Meanwhile, I'll be locked in to my own cottage-industry mode of production.

Being the first to do something means you end up eventually being the worst.

----

I had a GPT chatbot in 2019, before GPT-3 existed. I don't think Huggingface Transformers existed, either. I used the primitive tools that were available at the time, and built on them in my own way. These days, it is almost trivial to do the things I did, much better, with standardized tools.

I had a denoising diffusion image generator in 2021, before DALLE-2 or Stable Diffusion or Huggingface Diffusers. I used the primitive tools that were available at the time, and built on them in my own way. These days, it is almost trivial to do the things I did, much better, with standardized tools.

Earlier this year, I was (probably) one the first people to finetune LLaMA. I manually strapped LoRA and 8-bit quantization onto the original codebase, figuring out everything the hard way. It was fun.

Just a few months later, and your grandmother is probably running LLaMA on her toaster as we speak. My homegrown methods look hopelessly antiquated. I think everyone's doing 4-bit quantization now?

(Are they? I can't keep track anymore -- the hyper-competent tech bros are too damn fast. A few months from now the thing will be probably be quantized to -1 bits, somehow. It'll be running in your phone's browser. And it'll be using RLHF, except no, it'll be using some successor to RLHF that everyone's hyping up at the time...)

"You have a GPT chatbot?" someone will ask me. "I assume you're using AutoLangGPTLayerPrompt?"

No, no, I'm not. I'm trying to debug obscure CUDA issues on a Sunday so my bot can carry on talking to a thousand strangers, every one of whom is asking it something like "PENIS PENIS PENIS."

Only I am capable of unplugging the blockage and giving the "PENIS PENIS PENIS" askers the responses they crave. ("Which is ... what, exactly?", one might justly wonder.) No one else would fully understand the nature of the bug. It is special to my own bizarre, antiquated, homegrown system.

I must have one of the longest-running GPT chatbots in existence, by now. Possibly the longest-running one?

I like doing new things. I like hacking through uncharted wilderness. The world of GPT chatbots has long since ceased to provide this kind of value to me.

I want to cede this ground to the LLaMA techbros and the prompt engineers. It is not my wilderness anymore.

I miss wilderness. Maybe I will find a new patch of it, in some new place, that no one cares about yet.

----

Even in 2023, there isn't really anything else out there quite like Frank. But there could be.

If you want to develop some sort of Frank-like thing, there has never been a better time than now. Everyone and their grandmother is doing it.

"But -- but how, exactly?"

Don't ask me. I don't know. This isn't my area anymore.

There has never been a better time to make a GPT chatbot -- for everyone except me, that is.

Ask the techbros, the prompt engineers, the grandmas running OpenChatGPT on their ironing boards. They are doing what I did, faster and easier and better, in their sleep. Ask them.

#nostalgebraist autoresponder meta

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crishayle · 5 months

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Uranus in the houses

Disclaimer.Here I describe only one specific placement, always take into account all your other placements when reading your natal chart, because they can have a greater influence on you than Uranus (in this case)

Uranus in the 1st house:

1.There may be rebel traits in a person's character. He can be straightforward, honest, and sharp-tongued. He will say what others are afraid to say. They are cardinal and categorical in their thoughts.

2.They are really kind. These are people who can help not only their loved ones, but also strangers. They do not tolerate injustice, rudeness and arrogance.

3.Most often they are of medium height, less often tall. Their eyes stand out very much in their appearance, there may be unruly or curly hair (or wavy)

4.They are brave. I will not say that they are not afraid of anything. They can talk about their fears and problems, but they can really pull themselves together and be courageous at the right moment

5.Personally, it seems to me that they are a little nervous and restless. It's just that they literally don't stand still during times of stress. They twitch their legs, bite their nails or pencils, bite their lips or cheeks. If something has offended them, then this thought will torment them for a long time

Uranus in the 2nd house:

1.It's hard for such people to save money. It's as if their money should always move (be spent or invested). At the same time, they damn always find money! They don't have a rainy day stash, but they manage without it

2.A person has a strong, rather restless energy. I wouldn't say it's crazy energy, but people feel this rush when they communicate with you

3.I noticed that such people can see beauty in chaos. For example, they may like disheveled hair, wrinkled or faded clothes. I'm not saying that they are dirty, but negligence plays the role of charm for them. They may have chaos in their bag, makeup bag, closet, etc. They are used to chaos, for them this is the most convenient storage system :)

4.He takes care of the equipment, it can be stored in good condition longer than other people

5.Most often they choose an unusual job. For example, it requires great endurance, dexterity or patience. They don't really like the 5/2 schedule (but consider your 6th house and Mercury)

Uranus in the 3rd house:

1.Personally, it seems to me that they have strange but funny jokes. I can't say that all people laugh at their jokes, but people with placements in Sagittarius/Gemini/Aquarius will be on the same vibe with them

2.They can make long pauses in their speech or quickly change the topic of conversation. They are good conversationalists, because they can discuss anything

3.They don't like big texts, lectures, or a huge amount of information. They prefer concise and more specific texts. I noticed that they choose books and movies very carefully so that watching or reading is really interesting.They may also dislike long films. My friends with Uranium in the 3rd house recently fell asleep on a 3-hour movie. Well, sleep is useful

4.Most often there are problems with concentration. Such people can solve very difficult tasks, but blunt on the easiest ones

5.They are quite independent in terms of learning. Their brains are practical, creative, and NON-STANDARD. Sometimes I'm really shocked by what they can come up with. Scary and cool lol

Uranus in the 4th house:

1.They may not look like their parents, or they may look like distant relatives (but you need to consider whether you have aspects of the sun/moon to the ascendant)

2.Strange relationship with parents. They're not bad, but they're not that close either. Or it can be like a roller coaster, from love to hate(but I would recommend considering your moon as well)

3.Independent and matured early. Their minds are much older than their bodies. A person is not used to listening to advice, likes to make decisions on his own and does not tolerate control

4.Not always, but this is one of the signs of a single-parent family or a person's childhood could have been spent with grandparents

5.There is one caveat. Such a person may be inclined to take too much responsibility and control. Literally bring himself to panic and a state of emptiness when he is not able to help even himself

Uranus in the 5th house:

1.One of the indicators of attractive appearance. You may feel the stares and attention of strangers. There is something memorable about their appearance

2.With tense aspects, it may indicate an unwillingness to have children, or a late pregnancy. Sometimes it also indicates problems with the reproductive system (but you need to take into account the 8th house)

3.This is a person around whom there is always some kind of drama and adventure. I do not know how it happens, but there is always something interesting going on around them, even if they do not want to

4.Girls, if you see a man with Uranus in the 5th house with a bunch of squares/oppositions (ESPECIALLY TO THE MOON), run and don't look back. It's not worth it. They are not suitable for serious relationships, especially for family ones

5.A person who has his own style of clothing or image. They like to focus on details and accessories. They try not to wear the same look every day

Uranus in the 6th house:

1.An unpunctual person. He may often be late or not come to work/study/meeting. A flexible work schedule is more suitable for him

2.If they have inspiration and motivation, then they can complete 1000 tasks in a day, but if they are not in the mood, then they will not do anything. They are literally mood people. I wouldn't say it's always a bad thing. This situation is often found among writers and creative people.

3.Their main advantage is physical endurance. I will not say that they are jocks, but their body can withstand a load that will break any other person. They may not sleep/eat/work/walk longer than ordinary people

4.Such a person may have special esoteric rituals, for example, to attract good luck or money. They also notice the signs of fate well

5.They also don't like talking to someone not on the same level. Status, salary, gender, etc. are not important to them, they will communicate with you like with everyone else

Uranus in the 7th house:

1.Well, there is 100,000% something unusual in the sphere of human love. There are long-distance relationships and a long 10-year relationship without marriage and a relationship with a friend and a divorce and a strange acquaintance with the second half and an annoying ex. It can be anything but a normal relationship

2.A person may avoid romance and love (but consider your Venus). A person prefers to be loved rather than loving someone

3.Such people like emotionally sensitive people. Only people with stressful aspects of Uranus can choose people with mental problems. They may think that their partner is a mysterious and interesting person, but he just has depression or social phobia

4.With the harmonious aspects of Uranus, such a person values his independence in relationships. He clearly defends personal boundaries, while respecting his soulmate. He can immediately break off a relationship if he understands that they are harmful to him

5.Such a person knows how to find an approach to anyone. His circle of friends may consist of completely different and dissimilar people

Uranus in the 8th house:

1.Such a person had a case when he had an accident/was severely electrocuted or burned/was in a fire, etc. Simply put, there was a case when he miraculously survived

2.He understands other people well. Literally can feel other people's emotions. He's good at spotting lies.This is from the indicators of a psychologist/tarologist/astrologer

3.VERY GOOD INTUITION!!!!!

4.Such a person has few close people. He may seem distrustful and cold from the outside. His friends are being tested by time

5.To be honest, people in this position always make an impression after a conversation. Their life experience and worldview are so interesting and unique that their advice can be really useful. I'm not joking or exaggerating.Imagine,even I(Capricorn)listen to their advice

Uranus in the 9th house:

1.This person is like an eternally half-empty vessel. No matter how much knowledge and experience he receives, it is always not enough for him. They are not stubborn in their opinion and can really look at the situation in 360 degrees

2.In combination with a strong Mercury, it may indicate moving to another country or learning another language to the level of a native speaker

3.These are the very people who jump from topic to topic in conversation and forget what they were talking about. Their attention is chaotic, so they can reread the same page a thousand times because they are thinking about something

4.Moral issues are often raised in conversation. They can often discuss justice, honesty and mercy. In general, they believe in humanity and they are really kind

5.They are very harsh and rude when they notice disrespect or lies in their direction. Even if they are silent, they will make such a face that you will blush with shame. They clearly set their personal boundaries

Uranus in the 10th house:

1.Good logical thinking and imagination. It is often found among workers in the field of IT, engineering,design

2.Such people almost always rise rapidly through the career ladder and professional development. They really strive to be a master of their craft, they are considered an authority and are asked to teach beginners

3.By the way, good teaching skills. Such a person can explain very complex things in understandable language.

4.They try to live by the principle of let everything go as it should. They strive to make the most of what they can and try not to worry about problems that are beyond their control. They are quite stress-resistant

5.Most often, they do not work in their specialty. They could change a lot of jobs, and in each they developed quite successfully. They like to try and learn something new

Uranus in the 11th house:

1.Most of the time, his friends are creative and unusual. I would even say crazy a little bit. Such a person is attracted to cheerful, energetic and fervent people

2.With tense aspects, it may indicate dependence on other people's opinions and low self-esteem

3.Good leadership and organizational skills. Such a person is energetic and creative, knows how to communicate with a crowd of people and hear everyone's opinion. Many of them are activists at school or university

4.Such people rarely lose their virginity before the age of 18. They prefer to carefully look for the very person with whom they will feel not only a physical, but also a spiritual connection (for them this is a mandatory point)

5.With tense aspects, it may indicate social phobia or fear of loneliness. A person literally cannot be in silence or alone with his thoughts

Uranus in the 12th house:

1.Very good intuition, but there may be neurological problems (sleep problems, seizures, nervous tics, etc.)

2.Very kind and even too kind. They tend to put their own needs below those of others. They do not like to quarrel and will rather keep silent so as not to create unnecessary noise (but also consider the Sun and Mercury)

3.From the outside, such a person gives the impression of an educated and calm person. They are like your beloved grandfather, to whom you can always come for hugs and interesting stories.They are very comfortable!

4.On the other hand, people with this placement claim that because of their social flexibility, it is difficult for them to understand who they really are. The influence of other people is so strong that it is difficult for them to hear their inner voice

5.They prefer oversize clothes in calm tones(but also consider your Venus). Loose or wavy hair suits them very well. Sweaters or cardigans fit them best!

#astrology #astrology community #zodiac #horoscope #astrology blog #astrology signs #tumblr fyp #astro community #natal chart #astro observations #natal astrology #astro notes #astro tumblr #astrologer #natal chart observations #uranus

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perlelune · 2 months

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Glory And Gore | Feyd-Rautha

The trip to Giedi Prime you take with your mother should have been a mere diplomatic gesture. Instead, you find yourself prey to the inevitability of fate as it sinks its claws into your flesh.

Warnings: NON-CON, Deception, Parental Neglect, Cannibalism, Mutilation, Bene Gesserit Reader, Knives, Murder, Forced Marriage, Primal Kink

This is a dark story. Heed warnings before reading under the cut.

“I don’t want to.”

“You must.”

“Mother-”

“Use it!”

The authority dripping from your mother’s voice has you shrinking in your chair. You lift your gaze. A shudder slithers through your frame. Your fingers squeeze around the armrests, gripping so tightly you can feel the iciness seeping into your veins.

You study your mother’s face.

An unsettling realization crashes over you.

You no longer are looking into your mother’s eyes…but at the Bene Gesserit. You steel your features and iron your resolve.

You swallow a deep, calming breath.

“Give me the blade,” you repeat, for perhaps the hundredth time that morning. The exact count has evaporated amidst your heated nerves long ago. Your mother is unyielding today, pushing you further than she ever has before. While her purpose eludes you, the urgency etched in her manner from the moment she tore you from bed that day doesn’t. Today, your mother will not settle for surrender. She demands results.

Results for all the years she spent drilling the Bene Gesserit ways into you.

There is no hint of being swayed in your mother, her handle on the dagger unwavering. No twitching. No slackening of her grip. Your spirits dim.

“Again,” she barks.

Pearls of sweat gather on your brow as you strain your mind once more. The humming courses through your blood, the echo of power swelling in your mind. Fiery tendrils trickle through the veil of hesitation and nervousness.

You grasp at the threads, the fleeting wisps of control, pulling on them with all your might. Still, they slip through your fingers like sand. Frustration flares inside you with every attempt.

You persevere, enduring through the agony bleeding inside your mind. Through the liquid fire sweeping through your veins.

You meet your mother’s harsh stare.

“Give…me…the blade…” you articulate, injecting every bit of hazy conviction glowing inside you.

For a while, you and your mother hold each other’s gaze. A battle of wills. An ephemeral, pathetic one that ends as it always does…with your mother snickering at your failure.

She shoots up from the chair, exasperation evident in the drawn-out sigh she unleashes.

“No willpower. Just fear,” she says, pacing across the room.

“Apologies, mother,” you mutter, lowering your head in shame.

The Voice. The damned Voice. In eighteen years, you have never mastered it.

She approaches you, kneeling in front of your chair.

“Child, you must never fear, because fear…”

“...Is death,” you finish. The Bene Gesserit words are woven into the very fabric of your mind, for you have uttered them so many times since childhood.

She places her forehead against yours, cupping your cheeks.

The combination of your two voices echoes in the room.

“Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me…”

As you recite the familiar prayer, a wave of serenity swaddles you in its calming tide.

Your eyes flutter open.

Your mother’s fingers wrap around yours.

“Reverend Mother will see you tomorrow.”

“So soon?”

“You are of age. It is time.”

“Time for what?”

A shadow flits across her eyes.

“For the Gom Jabbar.”

“Gom…Jabbar.” A crease appears on your forehead. “What is it?”

A tense smile spreads on her face, her grip on your hand growing tighter.

“You will learn soon enough,” she says.

Rest eludes you that night, your mother’s words weighing too heavy on your mind for it to float away in peaceful slumber. Tormented by nightmares, you toss and turn between your sheets.

A beast chasing you, its claws sharp and long…Like knives. Darkness creeping on your every step. Fire shooting through your veins.

The world in flames, while you burn alongside it.

You awake drenched in your own sweat.

Hugging your knees, you lean against the headboard. You stare ahead. Moonlight drizzles through your carved window, casting shapes of silvery light against your walls. The same granite walls you have known since childhood. Usually so familiar, comforting. Today the sight of them reminds you how utterly alone you are.

Your thoughts churn, the storm of doubt and gloom within you grazing its peak.

Per custom, you are a disappointment to both your mother and the Sisterhood. The Voice. The Weirding Way. No matter which skill your mother and the myriad of Bene Gesserit teachers you had over the years attempted to drill into you…you failed to master every single one.

It’s not for lack of trying on your part. You wish you knew why. Why your voice always cracks. Why your hand always falters. Your mother has never given hope to lure a steel-mindedness out of you that was simply…never there. No part of you wishes to bend others to your whim or cause harm. You don’t crave control or power. Only serenity and peace.

The next day springs forth in a haste, the blinding light of the sun arriving too quickly for your comfort. There is a deliberate languid nature to your motions as you get dressed, fussing with your hair and dress. A pointless attempt at delaying the inevitable.

Gom Jabbar. You mulled the words over and over in your non-sleep. Mighty oppressor or mighty enemy. The translations from Chaksobar to Galach are plentiful. While you don’t know what awaits you on the other side of the door, from your mother’s pinched expression the day before…unpleasantness is guaranteed.

You trudge inside the dark room, a chill shooting through your spine at the sight of the still figure of Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam sitting in the middle. Her pale, weathered features, wrinkled and creased like ancient parchment, stand out amidst the unsettling gloominess ahead. Even behind the black veil, the older woman radiates an aura of ancient, mystic power, her presence both fascinating and intimidating.

No word unfurls from her tongue at first, her keen, bird-like eyes assessing you. Despite the urge to cower, you hold your chin high and stiffen your spine.

“Your Reverence,” you greet, bowing so low your nose almost grazes the tiled floor.

“Come closer, child.”

Your feet move on their own before you even register the command. Shock pulses though you as you approach the Reverend Mother. The Voice…She used the Voice on you. No Bene Gesserit ever did that before. None would even dare. Not on a Count’s daughter.

You land in front of her, stunned and shivering.

She collects a viridian metal fox from beneath her robes, its eerie light glowing ominously in the darkness. Your heart stutters as you note the chasm inside the box, a lightless void reflecting nothing but complete blackness.

“Put your right hand in the box,” she orders.

Her tone is bereft of the thrall of the Voice now. Willing compliance... you realize this is what she wishes from you. You stare at the pitch blackness inside of the box, the sight alone stirring your unease. Hesitation limns your fingertips.

“I…”

The Reverend Mother’s firm voice booms across the air like thunder.

“Is this the respect you show to your elders?” she roars.

You flinch. Shameful heat lurks its way inside your cheeks. Mother would be embarrassed if she saw you now, denying the Reverend Mother herself, the Emperor’s Truthsayer.

You inhale a wide breath and place a tremulous hand inside the metal box. As the darkness engulfs your appendage, a cold wave creeps over it. The prick of a needle on your fingers follows closely. Sensations vanish from your hand, only an odd numbness remaining.

The old woman’s gaze sharpens. Her wrinkled hand shoots upward with a quickness that leaves you speechless, halting right beside your neck.

A glimpse of metal beckons you from the corner of your vision. Temptation to turn your head simmers within you but an instinct set deeply into your bones screeches at you not to move.

You yield to to the second hunch.

“I hold at your neck the Gom Jabbar,” she informs. “The high-handed enemy.”

“Poisoned needle?” you absently wonder.

You catch the shadow of a smile through the black veil.

“Your mother did say you were a clever one.” She tilts her head slightly, reminding you of a vulture circling its prey, gauging the right moment to swoop down and sink its claws. “A soft heart with a sharp mind.” Dread coils around your heart. “The test is simple, girl. Your hand must remain in the box. Keep it in the box, you live. Withdraw it, you die.”

“What’s in the box?”

“Pain.”

Tingles begin to spread.

Your breath snags, needles starting to dig across the back of your hand. But unlike before, the sensation lingers this time. Growing and growing. Uncomfortable at first, then unbearable. Then, it turns blatantly hellish. Fire licks your flesh, the flames causing your entire body to break out in sweat and your breaths to come out labored and uneven.

Pain such as this cannot be of this world, you begin to think.

The kind that grows more vile and intense every second. You writhe, tears rushing to your eyes. Your free hand clutches your stomach, twisting the flesh in desperate need of an anchor amidst the unnatural agony. The room fogs around you, your quick, panicked breaths and the wild drumming of your heart filling your ears.

The longing for death comes and goes, the impulse to withdraw your hand teetering over a precipice. At least, death would bring release from the unfathomable pain.

Blessed freedom. You nearly surrender to that wayward instinct. Nearly.

In the end however, the acute, overwhelming awareness of the lethal needle less than an inch from your neck keeps your hand inside the box.

“An animal in pain would chew its own leg to escape a trap,” The Reverend mother says calmly, unfazed by your tears and sobs. “But a human would bide its time, suffer through the agony until he might remove the threat to his kind. This is a test of humanity. This is what us Bene Gesserit do. Set humans apart from animals.”

An eternity in the pits of hells seems to drag along before she gives you permission to withdraw your hand, her hand dropping from your neck.

“Enough,” she says.

You tear your hand out of the box with a trembling exhale, astonished when your gaze tumbles upon smooth, unharmed skin. You turn it upside down, flabbergasted. It looks the same. Yet the furnace within the box made the burning feel so real, so vividly, terrifyingly real, that you were convinced the flesh and bones were devoured by the flames. You expected a lump of bleeding, smoking flesh. In disbelief, you fold your fingers several times. You wince. Phantom pain still sits in your hand, your nerves alight with embers of ache.

Suppressing a fresh surge of tears, you lift your eyes to the Truthsayer.

“Your tolerance for pain is sufficient,” she states. “Congratulations, child. You are human enough to serve our purposes.” She hums in thought, a sliver of satisfaction seeping through her solemn inflection. “You may not be a complete waste of genetic material after all.”

“You almost failed the test, I hear.”

You shift in the bench opposite your mother, her imperious tone ripping the wound of your glaring incompetence open once more.

Your attention wanders above the closing gate of the starship. You commit the luxurious plains of your planet to memory. Your chest twinges with preemptive melancholy. From what you heard, Giedi Prime is a dry, depleted rock where trees are replaced by rows of factories and metal skyscrapers which only blot out the dusky skies even more. A nightmare from the sounds of it. Though your mother insisted you join her on the trip, arguing your presence is key to the success of the treaty.

So you swallowed your reluctance and agreed to come.

“I thought I would lose my hand,” you mumble, your fingers clenching. The awe over the flawless state of your limb hasn’t left you.

“Her Reverence would never maim a prospect,” your mother argues.

You nod, gaze colliding with hers.

“Just kill them if they fail to prove their humanity?”

You still recall the sharp, poison-dipped tip pointed at your neck. The oppressive weight of impending death nipping at your flesh.

The line between surrender and success had been thin. Too thin.

Your mother’s stern brow furrows.

“Pain is always a possibility…One you must embrace.”

“Why? Isn’t the Gom Jabbar a singular occurrence?”

Instead of answering you, your mother lifts a black, oblong chest from beside her. You noticed it before but forgot to inquire about its purpose.

The metal and dark accents of the object mimics the Harkonnen style. Your fingers sweep over the symbols engraved on the box.

“What is it?” you ask.

“Open it.”

You do as instructed. The inside of the chest reveals a set of knives, a long obsidian one and a short silvery one. The blades glimmer as you lift them, their sharp edges catching the artificial light of the cockpit.

“They were forged from the finest steel on Alderan,” your mother says. You give a puzzled stare. Your mother elaborates, “You must gift them to the na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen upon arrival. For his coming of age.”

Right. Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen’s birthday celebration. You were told there would be a grand spectacle in the arena, that he was a great warrior, revered and admired by his people…perhaps even more than his uncle the Baron Vladimir. Day after day before the trip, your mother has impressed upon you the importance of attendance, of embracing the Harkonnen customs as if born into them. Every single one, however uncanny, crude or brutal.

So, much as the concept of spilling blood for entertainment repulses you…you shelf your disgust for now. Personal feelings must capitulate to diplomacy.

Your critical eye sweeps over the knives. These must have cost a fortune. Sinister beauty and artful skill fused in ominous synergy inside a finely made instrument of death.

“It’s fine craftsmanship,” you say. Your fingertip drags across the curved edge. A crease appears on your forehead. “But the edges…they could be sharper.” Your eyes light up. “I could finish before we land.”

You sift through one the heaps of precious stones and minerals lining the walls of the cockpit.

Victory floods your being as you find what you sought. A flat whetstone that shall serve your purpose well. You find a spot on the floor and begin your task. The knives shine brighter with every swift glide of your hand.

The frown on your face deepens.

“I hope the Baron’s nephew is pleased with our gift.”

You know next to nothing of him. Though you surmise if your families are to start trading with each other, getting along would be wiser.

Your mother smiles at you though it fails to reach her eyes.

“I have no doubt he will be very pleased with all the gifts you bring him, daughter.”

The frosty, pollution-heavy winds of the lifeless planet whip your face as you set foot outside the car. Your eyes roam over the large building housing the Harkonnen arena. The imposing structure casts an intimidating shadow against the nebulous, gray sky above it. Dormant volcanoes peek through the horizon in the distance, the only remnants of natural landscapes.

Hopelessness surges through you.

Despite having landed less than an hour ago, a fierce longing for Alderan’s endless green fields and snowy mountain peaks roars inside you. Every cell in your body screams to go back inside the ship and return home.

But you can’t. Such a display of rudeness would be a disaster for diplomatic relations. So you plaster on a smile and ignore the potent stench wafting around you.

You exert meticulous sovereignty over your expression when the Baron floats toward you and your mother. Nothing could have prepared you for this. The sight of the bald, massive man hovering towards you and your mother in his suspensor chair.

The floating figure of the baron stops in front of you and your mother. A circle of servants, clad in black clothing, follows behind him. You note their bowed heads, the way their eyes never rise high enough to look directly at you or your mother. A brand marks their necks, one you recognize as the sigil of House Harkonnen. You’re reminded how ubiquitous the slave trade is on Giedi Prime. Your mother mentioned it but the harsh reality of it didn’t strike you until now.

“Welcome to Giedi Prime,” Baron Vladimir greets. His gristly tone surprises you, eliciting a chill across your spine you swiftly suppress.

“My Lord,” your mother says, sinking into a graceful bow.

You mimic her. The baron leers at you.

“She is even more exquisite in person.”

You recoil, the glint in his calculating stare stirring your unease.

Your mother’s gaze sweeps across her surroundings.

“The na-Baron isn’t in attendance?”

“My dear nephew is preparing himself in the gladiator pit. There are rituals we Harkonnen observe upon one’s coming of age.” Your mother nods.

The baron smirks, his focus swinging to you. “Perhaps you could pay him a visit, little one?”

You clutch the small chest in your hands.

“I…”

“Go on,” your mother urges, shoving you forward.

You gasp, almost tripping in your shock. The baron’s commanding voice rises.

“Slave!”

One the cowering servants leaps from the circle.

“Yes, sire?” the boy mumbles.

“Escort the girl to my nephew at once.”

The servant approaches you. His gaze briefly lifts before finding the floor again. A pang of empathy twists in your chest as you note the fear etched in the servant’s eye. You find yourself wondering what these eyes have witnessed, what horrors lurk on the wretched rock.

“Follow me, my Lady,” he says.

As you’re led away from the welcoming party, you toss a glance at your mother above your shoulder. The message written in her eyes and stern expression is clear as lake water.

Do not cast a veil of shame upon our house. Remember your duty.

Sucking a deep breath, you turn away.

You and your retinue of two guards and an attending maid are taken to the bowels of the arena. A horrid stench clings to the walls as you trudge through the dim walls. It grows more potent the closer you get to the pit. Your chest heaves. The urge to empty the meager contents of your stomach in the sand tickles your dry throat. You quell your disdain with a shake of your head.

You are here to present your house in a positive light, help Father’s treaty with House Harkonnen be a success.

As you enter the room, you get your first look at Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen. Warmth finds your cheeks. He’s almost bare, his rippling, pale muscles on full display. Two servant girls paint broad, black strokes over his carved back. The dark color stands out against his alabaster skin. Not a stray hair covers him and you suppose he’s as smooth-skinned and hairless as the rest of his kind.

When his dark gaze settles on you, you take tremulous steps forward.

You open the chest and present the knives to him.

“This is a gift for you, Lord na-Baron Feyd-Rautha,” you say, your voice cracking at the end.

Silence hangs for what seems eons, Feyd-Rautha cocking his head as he gauges you. It takes every ounce of bravery inside you not to flinch. His presence alone has every hair on your body stand at attention.

There’s a cold intensity in his glare, a tautness on his slender features.

You feel as prey being assessed. The urge to run itches your flesh. Your mother’s quiet warning echoes in your head. Remember your duty. You dig your feet into the ground, willing your roaring pulse to steady.

You hear him speak for the first time. His voice is hoarse and deep. Like the scratching of a stone over a sharp object.

“Would you like some fresh meat, my darlings? Lungs, a liver, perhaps?” he offers, smirking at three women sitting in a corner of the room. Their inky, whiteless orbs and ravenous grins send a chill through your spine.

His eyes fall on the knives inside the chest. His hand sweeps over the blades, an odd gesture almost reminiscent of a lover’s caress. He places the silver knife against his tongue, as if to taste the sharpness of the weapon. You shudder as you watch him, a foreboding feeling spreading across your flesh.

For a brief span of time, the well of your buried childhood memories tugs you to its depths. You recall a day when you were little. Your father took you hunting in the forests of Alderan. You chased a butterfly and got lost. You fell across a field. When you rose, you were nose to nose with a fierce predator. It stared at you a while, so still as its slanted, yellow gaze pinned you to your spot that you thought you were safe. You didn’t notice the calculated way it was prowling towards you, its maw opening slowly in anticipation of its next meal. The gift of tender, unsuspecting flesh. It’s not until your father speared the creature with his sword that you realized the jaws of death almost closed in on you. As it sprawled across the field, it unleashed an ear-piercing dying howl.

You were struck with shock that day.

A similar shock rocks you to your core when Feyd-Rautha slices the throat of one of the servant girls at his side and stabs the other repetitively. Time freezes as the lifeless bodies of the slave girls hit the sand with a loud thud.

Speckles of dark blood stain the bottom of your light tunic.

Your wide gaze lands on the other slave girl, tucked in a corner of the room. You watch her shrink in fear, the quaking in her hands so intense she nearly drops the tray she’s holding.

Horror fills you. She isn’t wondering if she’ll be next…but when.

Feyd-Rautha’s attention swings back to you. Dread coils around your heart.

“Hm, these are shockingly adequate,” he purrs appreciatively, grabbing the other knife from the chest.

It’s hard focusing on his words. Behind him, the three bald-headed women are swooping down on the poor servant girls’ corpses like vultures ripping a carcass to shreds. One of them pulls out a knife and slices the girl open from neck to gut. They bury their hands inside the girl’s body and grab fistfuls of her soft insides that they greedily shove into their mouths. Pieces of guts and dripping flesh jut from their pale lips, trickling down their chins and necks.

One of the women catches you staring and flashes you a blood-drenched, black grin.

You shudder. The maid at your side chokes on a sob, her hand flying across her mouth. Even your guards are appalled by the display, one of them averting his eyes.

A whispery croak slips through your lips.

“I s-sharpened them myself this morning,” you say, your fingers tightening around the chest.

A crooked smile unfurls on the na-Baron’s lips.

“Well, aren’t you full of surprises, pet.”

His smile expands. “How rude of me,” he says, tossing a casual glance at the ghoulish spectacle behind him. The women are still gleefully feasting on the slain slave girls. “Would you like a bite as well?” His mirthful gaze flicks over your heaving chest. “Fresh heart, perhaps?”

You swallow past the lump in your throat, forcing a placid smile onto your face.

“I-I’m quite alright, my Lord. I already ate.” The chomping noises of the cannibalistic women rises, one of them tearing into the slave girl’s side with her sharp nails.

Sickness spreads through your being. You avert your gaze.

“I shall leave you to get ready for your entrance, my Lord,” you stammer as you give a quick bow.

“I look forward to our next meeting, my Lady,” Feyd-Rautha says, the amusement never leaving his face as you scurry out of the room.

A tremor still lingers in your hands as you join your mother in the golden box above the triangular arena. The moment you sit at her side, she questions you.

“So, what did you think of him?”

“Who?” you reply, feigning ignorance.

She sighs. “Feyd-Rautha.”

You press your lips. The crowd chants his name as he steps into the arena, clutching the blades you gifted him at his sides. He walks slowly, with purpose. Yet there’s a hint of tedium in his haughty gait. As if today was no different than any other day for him, and the taking of more lives were nothing more than a mere footnote in his long list of tasks for the evening.

Sadist. Psychopath. Deranged.

These are some of the few choice words that surge inside your mind in response to your mother’s inquiry.

You utter none of them.

“Why does it matter? Our stay on Giedi Prime will be short, will it not?”

You peer through the binoculars your mother hands you. There’s a gut-wrenching brutality to the na-Baron’s practiced motions.

You watch him cut down two Atreides gladiator-slaves with ease. It’s clear something has been done to the men, their wobbly, confused steps through the arena a painful scene to witness.

Your chest seizes every time his blade tears into the poor mens’ flesh. He snarls after a series of successful strikes, seeming more beast than human when he bares a row of black teeth.

A shiver ripples through your spine.

“You must keep an open mind,” your mother heeds.

The last gladiator-slave is different. You note it right away. There’s a lethal precision in his movements that was amiss in the other Atreides soldiers. Panic swarms the golden box. Baron Vladimir’s advisor begs him to cancel the fight.

“This one isn’t drugged,” he says, fear lacing his tone.

“This will spoil my nephew’s birthday,” the baron rumbles, dismissing the man with a withering glare. He remains disturbingly calm. “Show me who you are, dear nephew.”

You take a deep breath. The rest of the fight veers to an unusual route. Feyd-Rautha removes his body shield, welcoming the challenge the Atreides soldier offers with open arms.

A psychotic smile decorates his lips as he fights for his life. For the first time since the fight began, he comes alive in the arena.

The vicious trading of blow after blow has bile rising to your throat. Unable to stomach it any longer, you bolt to your feet and mumble a rushed apology to the Baron.

“I shall retire to my chambers,” you say.

As you exit the golden box, the excited clamor of the crowd as they scream Feyd-Rautha’s name follows your hasty steps.

You sneak a glance through the high, blue doors. The sight inside the vast hall has your blood curdling. Debauchery the likes of which you have never witnessed unfolds before your eyes. A peculiar blend of orgy and slaughter occurs in the hall. You’re failing to comprehend what you’re seeing, relief coursing through you that you refused the Baron’s invitation.

Once more, you are stunned by the vast cultural differences between your people and the Harkonnens. Sickened, you step away from the doors. Twisted curiosity led you there, and blatant disgust will take you straight back to your room.

The dusky, barren walls of the Harkonnen keep are a stark contrast to the colorful tapestries that can be found all over Castle Alderan.

Homesickness tugs at your heart strings. This alien world is hostile, wretched. You long for the familiarity of your bed and the warm, soothing winds of your planet.

As you roam the hallways, a prickling across your nape has you whirl.

Your sight fills with Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen.

Your chest clenches. Your head whips around, a fresh urgency livening your steps.

“Should you not be celebrating your grand victory, my Lord?”

“Frivolous pleasures do little to sate me,” he says, easily keeping up with you. His gravelly baritone ripples across your spine. “This isn’t for me…It’s for them. And my uncle knows it.” His arm brushes yours. You bristle. Amusement bleeds in his tone. “Where are you running off to, pet?”

Pet. You tense at the belittling moniker, the one he forcefully bestowed upon you.

“To my chambers. The evening has exhausted me.”

“You left early.”

You cast a puzzled frown upon him.

“In the arena," he specifies.

Your fingers curl into fists. The unfairness of what you witnessed still staggers you. The Atreides soldiers weren’t given a chance. Pigs led to their inevitable slaughter. And Feyd-Rautha plucked joy from their misery, seeing every slave as a tool to satisfy his unquenchable thirst for blood.

“I have no stomach for violence, my Lord.”

A humming sound pours from his throat.

“Perhaps it was careless then.”

Confusion flutters through you.

“Careless?”

A wicked smile tilts his lips skyward.

“Of my uncle to hand me such a delicate flower…one whose petals are bruised so easily.”

You let out a hollow laugh, dread gripping your insides. Loathing the way his dark gaze slides over your frame, you set your eyes forward.

“You say such strange things, my lord.”

“Do I?” He adds casually, “After all, you were promised to me.”

Your heart falters, missing a beat. He must be drunk, you ponder, in a feeble attempt to placate yourself with reassurance.

“Perhaps you ought to sleep the evening off, my lord. I believe victory may have gotten to your head, warped your perception.”

His sinister chuckle bounces against the walls.

“A pet with a sharp tongue. How fortuitous.”

It’s the only warning you receive before he snatches your wrist and slams you into a nearby wall.

You gasp. He pins your wrists beside your head, trapping you between him and the wall. You squeal, eyes bulging at the abrupt impact. You can already feel bruises form beneath his steely grip.

You fight to get free but he doesn’t budge. Sadistic enjoyment contorts his features as he admires your fruitless struggle.

He leans close to you. Your pulse soars.

“What are you doing?”

His lids sag as he drinks you in.

“Well…sampling my other gift, of course,” he whispers, lust oozing in his voice.

His mouth crashes over yours. You go dizzy. The kiss is bruising, staggeringly possessive. A brutal, sloppy clash of lips, teeth and tongue. You give his lip a harsh bite but it only draws a cheerful laugh from Feyd-Rautha. The acrid tang of metal coats your tongue. He moans against your lips and starts exploring your curves.

As his hands pluck at your soft flesh, fear surges through you.

“Let me go,” you scream, trying to use the Voice. There’s a flicker in his eyes and you feel hope…but it swiftly vanishes. One of his hands fastens around your throat while the other charts a dangerous path under your tunic. His fingers crudely poke and prod the apex of your thighs.

Your panic swells.

“Unhand me this instant!” you shout, a trickle of power rushing in your words.

Feyd-Rautha shakes his head, your thrall only seeming to last a few seconds. Mirth shimmers in his inky orbs as he studies you.

“Are you trying to use Bene Gesserit tricks on me?” The hand around your throat tightens. You claw at his arms, your vision flickering as he taunts, “Why don’t you try again, little witch?” He sinks two fingers through your dry entrance. Tears swim in your eyes at the aching, sudden stretch. His cruel voice flows against your temple. “Perhaps I ought to slice your tongue and shove it down your throat for our wedding.”

The hammering of your heart grows deafening. You swallow your tears and look into his eyes. You gather a thin breath to speak.

“Back away…” you croak weakly, desperation flailing inside your chest.

He gives a slow blink. To your surprise, the hand around your throat slackens. His eyes narrow as he leans away from you, a dazed expression on his face. You don’t take time to bask in fleeting relief, racing to your mother’s room as soon as his hands aren’t on you anymore.

Once you reach your mother’s chambers, you fling yourself into her arms.

Her arms wrap around your shuddering frame. She caresses your hair, gently whispering, “Daughter, the hour is so late…Is something the matter?”

You release a shaky breath, sinking further into her embrace.

“May we return to the ship? Go back home?”

“Why?”

You cast a tearful gaze towards her.

“Haven’t we done our duty, mother? Is it not enough?”

A long weary breath flows from her lips. Her hands curl around yours. She takes a deep breath before speaking again.

Her face becomes stern, impenetrable.

“Apologies, sweet child. We cannot.”

You search her harsh gaze. A heavy silence settles between the two of you. You retreat, horror clogging your airways as unsaid words hang in the air.

“Mother…What have you done?” you mumble, a fresh wave of tears breaking past your lashes.

“You are to marry Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen in three days’ time,”she bluntly announces. Your jaw drops as you take another step back. “All the arrangements have already been made.”

Your voice trembles.

“And Father agreed?”

“It was his idea, approved by the Reverend Mother herself.”

The deepest pits of hell welcome your plummeting heart. You sink to the floor, the weight of your kin’s treachery growing too heavy to bear.

“And you did not speak against it?” you mutter, disbelief confining your breath.

Your mother falls to her knees, joining you on the floor.

She cradles your face. “It is your destiny. We are Bene Gesserit. We exist only to serve.”

“He is a monster.”

“I’m afraid it’s irrelevant.”

A sharp breath spills from your throat. Your head snaps up.

“Is this all I am to the Sisterhood?” You unleash a dry laugh. “A broodmare to be sold and used to further their plans? To you and father…”

Her mouth wobbles. “Our way is not to question, but to answer when duty calls.”

You bring a quivering hand to your throat. You can still feel his harsh fingers crushing your windpipe.

“Do you see what he has done to me?”

“Mother, please…”

A flash of regret appears on her face. It barely lasts a second before a mask of indifference drapes over her features again.

“You should rest,” she says, cupping your cheek. “You will need your strength for the days ahead.”

You take in your mother’s blank expression. The blatant lack of emotion despite her knowing what Feyd-Rautha did to you. You swallow a shivering sob. It might have hurt less if she struck you across the face. Or drove a dagger through your chest.

The room chills around you as you reach a sinister conclusion.

You are completely alone.

Packing your scarce belongings takes little time. You didn’t bring a lot with you on Giedi Prime. The trip was supposed to be short after all. A mere courtesy visit to honor your father and the Baron’s alliance. How naive you were.

In the end, you are just a pawn for the Bene Gesserit and your father to move around. You always knew marriage would come eventually. It is what you have been prepared for your whole life. But you harbored the faint hope that your future husband would be kind, or at least a decent man.

As you recall every instance of Feyd-Rautha’s cruelty, horror clutches your insides.

There isn’t a sliver of kindness in him. You venture he may even draw sick pleasure from others’ misery. The smile that touched his lips when you struggled against him still chills your veins.

It stuns you that someone like him, who seems more animal than man, even passed the Reverend Mother’s test, that he somehow withstood the pain, and maybe even embraced it.

Logic dictates that he must have however. Otherwise the Reverend Mother wouldn’t ratify the crossing of your two bloodlines.

The mere thought fills you with dread. He is dangerous. A monster who thinks, who plans, who schemes, who gathers joy from pain.

You come to a decision. You will not be Feyd-Rautha’s bride.

You must find your way back home. The sisterhood can find another sacrifice to fulfill their prophecy. It will not be you.

You wait for the keep to be quiet, not a sound lingering in the cold, blue hallways. You conceal a few belongings beneath your cloak. Another set of clothes, a compass, some jewelry and other valuables you’re hoping to trade for safe passage on a starship. Doubts wander inside you.

Where will you go? What will you do? Will you survive the weather conditions and atmosphere of a completely different planet? You still remember your brief visit on Salusa Secundus for the Princess Irulan’s coronation day. How you couldn’t move without fire rushing to your lungs. How every single step felt like you were taking a hundred. You could die.

Still, the prospect scares you far less than what awaits you in the Keep.

Uncertainty lies in your future. But you do know one thing. You must run as far away as you can from Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen.

Getting past the guards is easy enough.

You use what you remember of your Bene Gesserit training to sneak outside the fortress.

Harko city welcomes you in all its dull, somber rotting glory. You cross past discarded piles of rubbish and large oily puddles as you race through dark alleyways. Everywhere your gaze rests, it’s assaulted by sheer decay and putrefaction. Unlike the clean, cold, pristine interior of the Keep, the city is crumbling.

The putrid stench rising from the streets almost causes you to turn back. In the end, you refrain, steadfast as you rush through the busy streets. Every second is precious. You could get caught, dragged back to the Keep.

The back of your neck prickles. Your pulse escalates. The presence of three men hovers at the edge of your sight. Pretending you didn’t notice them, you subtly hasten your strides.

They catch on quick, too quick.

One of them pounces on you. You keel over and collapse on the harsh, dirt-covered ground. You try to crawl away, fright engulfing your senses.

Another of the men grabs your ankle and yanks you towards them.

Leering smiles float above you in the dim light of the alley.

“Hm, we could fetch a good price for that one,” the last man says. “Such a pretty little thing with pretty, pretty hair…”

The man who caught you barks a derisive snicker.

“An outworlder. How exotic.”

The second one bends closer to sniff the air around you. Your throat constricts as you turn your head.

“Not just any outworlder,” he says, his head tilted in curiosity. “This one smells like royalty.”

Elated chuckles burst in the darkness.

“That royal bitch will make us rich.”

The man who smelled you licks his lips.

“But shouldn’t we sample the goods first?” Fear shoots through you. “Never had me a highborn gal before.”

“Me neither.”

“This is a once in a lifetime-”

The man chokes mid-sentence. Your mouth drops as a blade is driven through his neck from behind, practically beheading him. Blood rains over you. Wet spots drip onto your face and dress as each of the men is gutted by a swift, ruthless opponent. You watch one pull a knife. He doesn’t get to use it, unleashing a blood-curdling scream when his hand is sliced at the wrist. The fingers of his severed hand twitch as it hits the floor. He sinks to his knees, wailing while cradling his bleeding stump against his chest. He meets his end with a brutal smash of his head into the stone wall. Gray matter spills from his skull as his eyes roll back and he falls in a dark puddle lifelessly.

The last one tries to run but is dealt with in the same merciless fashion.

Your wide, horrified gaze sweeps over the massacre. The speckles of blood on your face are still warm with the heat of the dead men’s bodies.

A shaky breath spills from your throat.

Your head rises. You come face to face with Feyd-Rautha’s expressionless stare. He picks up your trembling frame from the ground and tosses you over his shoulder. He strolls over the men’s corpses as if they weren’t even there, huffing a deep sigh of annoyance.

“You should be glad I found you in time, pet,” he says.

He throws you inside a car. The door slams and you huddle in a corner. Feyd smirks at your shrinking form.

“Truly? Nothing to say after all that fuss?”

Tremulous words trickle through your lips.

“Just let me go home.”

He slants his head, the corners of his lips lifting slowly. “No.”

“You could say that you didn’t like the look of me,” you insist. “That I repulsed you.”

Feyd-Rautha snorts.

His hand shoots out, moving too fast for you to comprehend. He leans over you, fingers squeezing your throat. “Pet…you were mine before you even set foot on Giedi Prime.” His dark gaze drags over you. You get a glimpse of black teeth as he grins. “The only place you’re going tonight is my bed.”

Once the car reaches the Harkonnen keep, you’re roughly pulled from your seat. Your chest tightens as you note the severed heads of your guards and maid lined in a neat row near the gates. Their lifeless eyes are wide open, staring at nothing.

You stumble back, hands flying to your mouth.

Satisfaction twinkles in Feyd-Rautha’s dusky orbs.

“I had to kill these incompetent fools, of course. They let my precious bride slip away.”

You gawk at him in shock. Guilt presses inside you. If you hadn’t tried and failed to escape, those poor people might still be alive. Tears swell beneath your lashes.

The na-Baron exhales, gripping your arm and tugging you along when you refuse to move. He smiles. “Do not worry, pet. We will find you new servants. Better ones.”

You end up in a large room inside the Keep. A tub filled with water sits in the middle. Feyd-Rautha’s concubines flash black-teethed smiles at you as you crash into a heap on the floor.

“Get her ready for me,” he says.

“Yes, master,” the three women reply in concert.

Your eyes swing upward in alertness.

“Ready for what?”

His inflection is chillingly matter-of-fact.

“Well, our wedding ceremony, of course.” You unleash a whimper as his fingers twine in your hair, twisting your neck backwards. His feral gaze seems to peel the layers of your blood-soaked tunic. “Why wait a few days when I can have you as my birthday gift tonight?”

His hand coils around your jaw, forcing your head to pivot. Your gaze falls on a slave girl standing fearfully in a corner of the room. You’re struck with recognition. She was in the arena before his fight, tending to him along with two other girls. Two girls who are now dead. Courtesy of Feyd-Rautha. She glances at you before her eyes tumble to the smooth black tiles again.

“Do you see her?” he whispers, his chest brushing against your back.

Feyd-Rautha beckons the girl with two fingers. She staggers forward.

“Speak, slave,” he orders.

The girl opens her mouth. However, instead of uttering words, only distorted whimpers come out. Horror twists your insides as you realize something crucial is missing inside her mouth.

“W-What happened to her?” you ask, dreading to hear what you already suspect.

His dark chuckle resonates in your ear.

“She can’t talk anymore. Do you know why?” His lips graze your cheek, his raspy tone lowering. “Because I took her tongue.”

Your stomach sinks.

When you attempt to turn away, his grip on you becomes harsher. He forces you to keep your eyes on the girl.

“I want you to take a good look at her.” His hand spreads over your chest, right above your hammering heart. “Try any of your Bene Gesserit tricks on me again…and I will feed your tongue, and perhaps even other parts of you to my darlings here.” He snorts. “After all, I only need one part of you intact to make me an heir.”

“Do you understand, my love?” he inquires, his husky bass dripping mockery upon the last two words.

You swallow a large gulp of air. “I-I understand.”

He storms out of the room and you sink to the floor. His concubines dive upon you. They nudge you to the tub and remove the clothes off your quivering frame.

The blood, grease and dirt is scrubbed off your flesh. Scented oils are massaged into your skin and hair. A dress is wrapped around your body.

You numbly let it all happen, defeat sinking its hooks deep inside your soul.

The farce of a wedding ceremony flies by in a blur.

Baron Vladimir and your mother are both in attendance, the two wearing satisfaction on their faces, albeit in different manners. While the Baron is smug, your mother is attentive. Not a single emotion betrays her face and you feel thoroughly abandoned.

Before the ceremony, she mumbles in your ear that the Reverend Mother requested a girl-child. You know the process, have been taught how it’s done. But it’s a cruel reminder…that you are nothing more than a tool in the larger schemes of the Bene Gesserit.

And that perhaps, your entire life you have simply been your mother’s mission. Maybe she even feels relief to be delivered from her duty.

The thought overwhelms you with sadness.

You stand before Feyd-Rautha in a flowing white dress while he dons black from head to toe.

He astonishes you by uttering his vows with the utmost seriousness, swearing to protect and cherish you until death forces the two of you apart. Death...In that moment, you find yourself silently wishing for its swift, imminent arrival.

When the Harkonnen priest whirls to you, the words stick to your throat, refusing to unfurl from your tongue.

“Does the bride consent to the match?” the officiant repeats.

Shell-shocked, you shiver in your spot. Feyd-Rautha’s mouth quirks upward.

“Oh, she consents. She is simply too overwhelmed with happiness to speak,” he replies on your behalf, openly taunting you.

You grimace as he slices the inside of your palm with a dagger and brings it to its lips. Your blood coats his mouth and his tongue flicks out. He hums at the taste, a smile blooming on his face. He does the same to himself, digging even deeper in his alabaster flesh. You flinch as he presses his bloody palm against the bottom of your face.

The Harkonnen wedding ritual concludes with him planting a rough kiss on your lips. He shoves his tongue inside your mouth, pulling you against him.

When the ceremony ends, he hoists you in his arms and takes you to his bed.

As promised, he lays his claim on your body right away.

Your wedding dress is ripped open with a few precise slashes of his knife. Your insides coil, the fear of him driving the weapon through your soft flesh keeping you docile underneath him. You don’t say a word, your tongue shackled by his earlier threat. He takes a moment to drink you in, relishing the rapid rise and fall of your chest as he drags the tip of his blade across your skin. He savors your fear like the sweetest offering, growing harder against your thigh as you tremble beneath him.

His black-toothed grin freezes the blood in your veins.

“My pretty little pet…all mine to play with, finally,” he rasps.

There’s no gentleness in the way he explores your body, scratching and nipping at your flesh as if to make sure no one dares doubt whom you belong to when you leave his chambers. Every plea for him to slow down is met with renewed ferocity. He tastes and fondles every inch of your quivering flesh. Your nipples pebble under his palms. Your core ignites below his tongue. Pleasure and pain mingle in sinful, twisted harmony.

Your back folds and your eyes roll back as a myriad of confounding sensations assaults your senses.

As he buries himself inside you to the hilt, he frees a satisfied grunt.

Pain clamors through you when he starts to move. Your walls catch fire at the aching, brutal stretch.

Holding your wrists above your head, he pours every ounce of lust and aggression inside you. You feel it in every stab inside your core.

His pale, muscular form pins you to the bed as he thrusts deeper inside you, reaching a tender spot that has you releasing an ear-splitting scream. You squirm over the soaked sheets as he takes you again and again, the mix of blood and arousal coating his length easing his blunt intrusion. Your helpless wails mingle with his feral moans.

Raspy words in the coarse Harkonnen tongue are heatedly whispered into your ear. You don’t understand any of them and it makes your terror grow.

You feel as if you will break, shatter at the seams beneath his rough, careless touch.

The agony seems to stretch into eternity.

Feyd-Rautha’s lips skate across your bruised cheek.

“Do not fret, pet. I shall aim not to break you just yet,” he teases, sinister promises lurking in his lewd inflection. “Not when our fun has just begun.”

A single wayward tear traces a slow path down your cheek.

He greedily licks it, purring at the taste of your misery.

You feel him strain against you as he nears his peak, his thrusts getting slower and deeper. He comes with a deep roar.

The na-Baron spills his seed inside you. Your eyes shut. Power flows inside your womb as you conjure the right outcome.

A girl they desired. A girl they shall have. As you writhe beneath Feyd-Rautha, forced to bear his rough, bruising touch, you wish your daughter fierce and strong.

Strong enough to pluck the stars from the heavens. Strong enough to unweave the tangled threads of time.

Strong enough to twist the arm of fate itself if she wills it.

#feyd rautha #feyd rautha x reader #feyd-rautha #dune fanfiction #feyd rautha harkonnen #dune part 2 #dune #feyd rautha harkonnen x reader #dark fic

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satorhime · 1 year

Text

. ･｡･ right where you left me ࿐gojo satoru.

── ◜ ⪩⪨ ◞ content : angst, fluff, dad!gojo (reader ‘n’ gojo have a daughter), set in 2018 and 2023, reunion, beach trips, established relationship ! f!reader. ･｡･ w.c. 3.7k & not proofread.

── ◜ ⪩⪨ ◞ synopsis : time remains the one enemy gojo can’t defeat. ໒꒰ྀི ´ ꒳ ` ꒱ྀིა notes: ik there’s a gazillion reunion fics but this has been sitting in my drafts since oct n i suddenly felt like finishing n sharing so i hope u enjoy <333 ‘m gna go cry over this fic now ;u;

satoru is having a damn good day.

it’s suspicious, it feels like a fever dream, and he can’t really pinpoint where the dubiousness comes from. maybe it’s because he feels as if he doesn’t deserve it, like if he allows himself to relax like this something terrible will happen while he slacks off. or maybe, it’s because he’s only ever had those truly good days in his youth when he was devil may care and his concerns for the wellbeing of the world slid off his shoulders weightlessly, like sheets of rain on a rooftop. a wild and selfish kind of happiness that begun in spring and ended too quickly in winter.

but today is a good day. he forgot to charge his phone last night, he is in the best mood he’s been in all year, and he can’t stop fucking smiling. gojo satoru is thriving, on top of the world, a little bit of that nostalgic, adolescent joy warming up his chest.

and it’s all because it’s a sunny day, the water is cool, and he’s on the beach with you and his baby girl.

the three of you decided to steal away on a spontaneous trip to okinawa that forced him out of his work uniform and into swim trunks with a bare chest, simply because you burst into his office with big droplets of tears in your eyes declaring yourself a terrible mother because you realized that your daughter was already three years old and she had never seen the ocean before.

it had taken him ten minutes to book three first class tickets and secure the private family villa for the weekend, fifteen to get packed, and twenty to board after hearing that.

he would do anything to please his girls, after all.

“‘anna go into the bathtub, mama!” your baby whines impatiently from the embrace of your arms, squirming and squiggling for you to let her down as she points towards the rolling ocean waves behind you. ever since she learned how to walk, she’s lost all patience for her doting parents carrying her around— especially when something catches the attention of those big, pretty blue eyes. it didn’t take long for her to become enamored with the sea, wanting nothing more than to get out of your hold and toddle towards the shallows.

“it’s called an ‘ocean’, cupcake,” you correct her, voice full of amusement and affection as you crane your head forward to kiss the soft skin of her chubby cheek, bouncing the toddler in your arms. “too bad we’re being held hostage by dada right now.”

“i heard that,” satoru mumbles with a pout, his third melon popsicle of the day hanging from one side of his mouth. droplets of green slush drips onto the broad planes of his chest in a sticky mess as it melts but he’s wholly focused on the two of you, one summer blue eye winked closed as the other peers through the lens of the polaroid camera looped around his neck. “but wait, just one more photo of my two favorite girls!”

“you’ve been taking photos for the last twenty minutes, satoru,” you huff. “we aren’t going anywhere, you know. you don’t have to take so many.”

“our baby needs to see what the three of us looked like in our prime, before we grow old and gray together.”

“you’re so ridiculous, gojo satoru.”

but despite your exasperation, you remain put. it’s hard not to feel the same way he does on a perfect day like this— contentment, light in the heart and full of love because of this little trip. the camera focuses in on you and your daughter before the shutter clicks, each snap immortalizing the sight of you and your baby girl illuminated by the lazy autumn sun.

“and done!” he cheers, catching the polaroid in his palm as it slides from the slot. it wobbles between two of his fingers as it develops, but he can already see that it’s a perfect picture. he feels his heart sink in his chest, melting into a syrupy sweet puddle of happiness that makes him lightheaded and anxious.

oh, you’ve never looked as pretty as you do right now. like a dream, a forever kind of love he never plans to let go of. wearing that cute little swimsuit he likes so much with his sunnies perched on top of your head and his baby propped up on your supple hip. the two of you are beaming, cheeks squished together, your daughter’s hand cupping your face fondly.

it’s the kind of picture that others would coo at and fawn over if he framed it in a museum, but satoru retrieves his wallet from the pocket of his swim trunks, tucking the polaroid safely in the trifold for his own selfish keeping.

“i think she really likes the beach,” you tell him, squatting to set your daughter on her feet. she waves to you and satoru before waddling toward the shallow surf, her little legs stumbling in the thick body of sand. “this was good of you, satoru.”

“what? you think i’d miss the opportunity to spend time with my best girls?” he asks you, a hand on his chest with an affronted look on his face. you resist the urge to snort as the two of you follow closely behind your stumbling toddler, rushing towards her every time she gets distracted and attempts to eat the sand or chase one of the seagulls.

“you’ve been busy lately, that’s all,” is how you respond, the accusation washed out of your tone for the gentle words instead. you don’t bring up how many milestones, how many little memories he’s already missed, just by being who he is— that no matter what, he’ll always belong to his duty first and his family second. no, you’ve always shown patience and understanding. never complaining when his side of the bed is empty before morning or your girl requests for her father to read a bedtime story in that animated, comical way you can never replicate for her. making her settle for your offkey, wobbly lullabies instead.

“i know,” he says quietly, suddenly serious— keeping one eye on your baby girl who is currently splashing her hands around in the sand and water. “one of my first year’s a vessel so the curses are getting more pesky. i don’t think that’s a coincidence.”

“you think something’s about to happen?” you ask, looking up at him, but he presses a kiss to your temple and you wrinkle your nose at the sticky feeling of his lips.

“nah,” he replies, and you almost roll your eyes because you know he’s lying. even though satoru has done his best to keep you hidden from his world, you’re no fool. you already know why he rarely comes home at night, why he was absent for christmas last year, why your daughter has never met her paternal grandparents. you know that with the reappearance of several ancient cursed objects, there is thunder crackling among the clouds. “don’t worry your pretty little head about that.”

satoru turns up the volume on the waterproof boombox half-buried in the sand next to your belongings. he can’t stand your choice of music, finds it noise most of the time, but it’s the distraction the atmosphere needs to throw off your questioning. he pulls you to sit down between his legs, your back pressed against his chest and his arms wrapped around your body.

ocean foam splashes against the tips of your toes as the two of you sit at the surf of the tide in peaceful silence, time getting away from you both in the warm sun as your baby girl plays, her energy endless— waddling around and squealing at the different curiosities and wonders the beach has to offer.

whatever will happen, satoru won’t allow it to be today.

“satoru,” you call after a long quiet, craning your neck to look up at him. “if you—”

“what, you think i’m gonna croak sometime soon?” he shoots back, already knowing where the conversation is heading. so he holds you tighter, his strong arms a protective cage around your body as his shades slide down the attractive slope of his nose. he cracks a grin at you, another obvious deflection because he knows you can’t resist when he looks at you that way. not with his hair mussed from humidity, a strip of sunscreen on his nose as he chews on that damn wooden stick from his ice pop earlier.

“i know what you’re doing,” you shake your head. “and it’s not working. i’m just worried, i’m allowed to, as your wife. you think you’re invincible but if something happens to you that’ll… it’ll—” it will break us.

satoru’s smile fades, but he thankfully doesn’t need to reply because your daughter is waddling up to the both of you now, her sand-caked hands full of seashells and stones that glimmer in the sunlight. he wants to scoff because if anyone understands the consequences of failing those you love, it’s him— it’s all he’s ever known.

“what ya got there, princess?”

“fish—!” she cries in her sweet, babyish voice. some of the shells tumble from her hands, and you watch as her expression switches from happiness to dismay to finally confusion. you have to bite your lip to hold back laughter when instead of picking them back up, she dumps the rest of the seashells in your lap. “now i don’t have any fish.”

“i think those are seashells, princess,” gojo says with a grin, picking up a shell that rests on top of your thigh and holding it up to the sunlight. “this shell looks like it belongs to a hermit crab, like your megumi-nii.”

“you’re a terrible influence on our daughter, you know.”

“i’m just setting up future dynamics, angel face,” he grins.

“look look look!” your daughter gasps, bringing your attentions back to her. “this swee-shell looks like dada—!” she squeals excitedly, her new finding held delicately in her little sand-covered palm. she stands up on your thighs to reach her father sitting behind you, holding an iridescent blue seashell next to gojo’s eyes, her tiny mind comparing the colors in wonder. meanwhile, satoru wears a smile that burns so wide it hurts his cheeks.

“it looks like you too, princess,” he boops her nose, gently taking the seashell and holding it to her eyes next. her answering giggles sound like a sweet bell calling him home to heaven, but he can’t answer it because there are two people on this earth who laugh and smile at him like he hung the moon and painted the stars. “if you put it in your pocket now, the ocean won’t call the cops on you for stealing it.”

“no, this one ‘s for dada,” she insists, shoving the pretty blue seashell back into his hand.

“thank you, my mini angel,” he ruffles her hair, and you smile softly at the little exchange because though she may be enamored with her new discoveries at the beach, her father will always be one of her favorite wonders of the world.

“i ‘anna go find one for mama now!” she announces, and you wonder how she hasn’t run out of energy yet, but you nod and stand to your feet, dusting the sand away from the bottom of your swimsuit. your baby’s entire hand curls around your pointer finger, and she pulls you along with great effort.

you glance back at satoru and find that he’s watching the two of you head closer to the water, that uncharacteristically genuine smile still on his face, and you part your lips to call him to your side— where he’s always supposed to be.

“you didn’t think we’d let you slack off, did you? finding seashells is serious business, satoru!” you tease, pretty eyes crinkling with unbridled happiness, haloed by the waning sun and the orange dreamsicle sky that holds it. “hurry up!”

“wait for me just a little while, i’m coming to you,” he calls back, a lopsided grin spreading across his mouth before he raises the polaroid camera to his face, snapping one last candid photo of the two of you before he jogs towards his little piece of heaven.

but he doesn’t think he’s imagining things when the distance between heaven and earth keeps growing further and further apart—

“satoru, you can’t stand outside forever,” your voice is gentle as it speaks behind him, your hand laid delicately on his back in comfort; breaking the sorcerer out of deep reverie, the edges of the old memory fading, replaced by the pink paint of his daughter’s bedroom door that he’s been standing in front of for the last thirty minutes. his thumb brushes over the polaroid in his hand, the one that had been his salvation and his undoing in the prison realm. he’d taken it out without knowing, his eyes reading over the date written in his handwriting.

october 30, 2018

the picture of you with your daughter on your hip that he took at the beach all those years ago— that had been the last time he’d seen her.

four, no, five years?

his feet are nailed to the floor because change makes satoru shut down, and everything has changed since then.

while time was immeasurable and immovable inside of the prison realm for him, the clock had ticked on outside of it and just like that, his little girl is no longer three years old, giving him seashells that matches his eyes or hitting the back of his ankles with her big wheel or—

“you can’t keep doing this to yourself,” you sigh. “you’ve been unsealed for months. you’re her father, no matter what.”

“i’m a stranger to her,” and to you, but he doesn’t say it. you had waited for him, in every aspect of the word. held out on hope and faith in his strength that he would return to your side, where he’s always supposed to be.

“you’re n—” but you’re cut off when the door opens to reveal your daughter standing on the other side. the child standing before him is almost unrecognizable. she’s much taller and older, wearing track pants underneath her school dress with ribbons in unruly waves of white hair. the last time he’d seen his daughter, she had been three years old and still learning things like colors and sight words and that feeding megumi’s demon dogs her vegetable purée was against the rules. now, gojo satoru was the father of an eight year old and he’d missed everything because of a mista—

“you can come in,” she says, blinking up at satoru with an expression void of emotion. “but i’m not finished with my homework so if you stay too long, you’ll bug me.”

“how did you know i was outside?” he whistles nonchalantly, unbothered by the attitude that she gives him. it fills him with bitter satisfaction that she isn’t excited to see him, that someone is angry that he failed, regardless if he won in the end. he can handle bratty children who hate him and only look at him as a tool for their success, he can’t handle a daughter who cried herself to sleep every night waiting for him while he was losing his sanity away in a cube.

or at least, that’s what he tells himself.

“i could see you and mama through the door, duh,” she replies, hip cocked to the side in an amount of sass she had to pick up from you. “mama says i have your eyesight. i don’t really get it, but it makes it easy to cheat on tests.”

he could see it in the bright blue of her eyes, even if she hadn’t confirmed it. plain as daylight, she’s exactly like he was at that age. easily irritable and bratty, cocky and spoiled rotten. suffering from the weight of being an uncontested heir to an ancient dynasty at the age of elementary.

“i used six eyes to cheat on tests too,” he relates with pride, and then he bends down to her height, waving his palm. “sooo you probably got some questions about where i was—”

“not really. grandfather said you were sealed because you’re foolish and let weakness distract you.”

“you shouldn’t say things like that,” you scold, “apologize.”

“why? i don’t want to.”

your daughter turns, disappearing back into her room after that and seeming like she doesn’t care if satoru follows or not. your hand travels up the long expanse of satoru’s back in a soothing circle as you step closer.

“huh, that’s new.”

“sorry, she’s… i don’t know if acting out is the right term,” you say, pain in your voice. “she doesn’t really understand why she’s so different, or why you were … gone for so long. i know you didn’t want her around your family so i kept her away as best i could, but she started to have crippling migraines because she didn’t know how to use her ability and well… they were the only ones who knew how to help. filled her head with foolishness every time she visited the estate, though and it’s changed her.”

“huh,” is all he says, a broken record, tongue running across his inner lip in thought.

“do you need me?”

“what, you think i can’t handle her?”

“well, you were outside the door for a half hour, ‘toru.”

he shoots you a lopsided grin before he’s stepping into his daughter’s bedroom, glancing around at the unfamiliarity of it all. you follow close behind, watching with a heavy heart as he takes in the difference eight years can make.

her tiny baby crib has been traded for a poster bed decorated with a sanrio duvet and various stuffed animals where a laptop and study papers lay scattered on top. the angel themed decorations, along with her first ultrasound photo you and satoru had hung up in her nursery had been replaced by pink paint and pictures of her with a group of friends from school and a photo of her on a volleyball team.

he has to rip his gaze away.

“so,” he starts, standing in the center of the room and trying not to feel like an intruder, desperate for something to say— something to relate to her with. “how many episodes did i miss? did aya-chan ever get married?”

“i’m too old to play with dolls now, father,” she huffs, scrunching up her nose, and though satoru expected that exact answer, it doesn’t stop his heart from shattering into a million pieces. he feels that familiar itch, anger welling in his body until it burns at his fingertips because this is no one’s fault but his own. “don’t you know anything about me?”

“my bad, you’re a big kid now,” he snorts, even as his chest aches. he sits on the edge of her bed, flipping up one edge of the coloring book laying next to her laptop. “maybe you should start paying taxes.”

“i’m also too young to pay taxes. you really don’t know anything about me anymore,” she snaps, and she’s right— he doesn’t and it burns like saltwater on a wound. now he knows why you asked if he needed you; he’d hide behind you if he could, but he settles for flickering his eyes up to you helplessly.

you realize that neither of you can be upset with her for being angry that one of her favorite people vanished out of thin air. that while he was sealed, his clan had taken advantage of his absence and your powerlessness against them, and had begun spoiling your child rotten, teaching her how to use her ability— plumping her up for the inevitable day that she becomes her father’s successor, turning her against him.

“i think,” you say softly, leaning against the frame of the door. “that your dada— your father— would like to learn, though. he’s missed a lot, baby.”

she considers this for a long while, then she heaves a great sigh, hackles lowering. she scoots off the bed and before satoru can feel the hurt of figuring she doesn’t want to be near him, she does something unexpected. she moves one of her trophies out of the way to open her closet door, rummaging around for the longest before she yanks out a cardboard box you had labeled ‘donate one day since my snotty kid is a hag now’— it’s a box full of old dolls, covered in dust. she sits on her knees in front of the box, peering inside.

“aya-chan didn’t get married, but hinata-chan did,” she explains with an exasperated sigh and a roll of her eyes, taking out the dolls one by one and setting them on the floor in front of satoru’s feet.

“to the mailman that lived in your ugliest dollhouse?”

“you remember,” her eyes widen a little in surprise before her expression shutters again, smoothing out the doll’s colorful polyester dress before reaching back into the box and retrieving a brush covered in synthetic hairs. she looks at it for a while before extending her arm and offering the brush to her father. “aya-chan decided to be independent and explore the world. she’s planning to go on a trip soon so she needs to get ready. do y’wanna brush her hair?”

satoru is sliding off the bed and sitting cross-legged on the floor before he knows it, barely wanting to breathe because he doesn’t want to shatter the fragility of the moment between them. he takes the brush, and seconds later she hands him one of the dolls that had once upon a time been her favorite one that no one was allowed to touch. you would giggle at the delicate way he brushes the doll’s hair with utmost care and precision if you weren’t about to cry at the scene instead. “oh, and where’s she headed?”

“okinawa.”

“ponytail or messy bun then?” you don’t think you’re imagining the wobble in his voice. “to compliment her swimsuit.”

a tiny, hopeful smile twinkles over your lips at the two of them on the floor, babbling away to each other about the outlandish stories they’ve created together with her dolls. how many times had you offered to play with her, only for her to burst into tears because it wasn’t the same? you know that this won’t bridge the gap between the years that have been lost, but it’s a start. just hearing the soft murmurs of their conversation, the sound of your little girl giggling for the first time in ages, makes your heart swell.

time may be an undefeated opponent, and with it comes change that no one can control, but something tells you that as long as the three of you are together— everything will be okay.

you tiptoe out of the room, because they need time to catch up and apologize and reconnect, to learn one another once more, but before you close the door, you don’t think you’re mistaken when you hear, “can we go back to the beach too, dada?”

#little novels.#jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk fluff #jjk angst #gojo fluff #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #gojo angst

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