#disconnection

[unwelcome-ozian]

#trauma #disconnection

[cat-eye-nebula]

There's an unresolved hunger for meaning thats rooted deep in the soul. Many don't feel this hunger because they are distracted with immediate gratification. (x)

#rat race #superficial #social media #instant gratification #meaningful #lifestyle #philosophy #psychology #self destructive #money worship #productivity #economy #emotional #isolation #depression #consumerism #emotional neglect #millenials #gen z #disconnection #nihilism #self awareness #self care #values #connection

[mymidwestheart]

Some of y’all are not good discerners though. Your intuition is off from lack of practice, refinement, or cause someone gaslit you one too many times. Some of you do this out of resentment, and resentment will fuck your mental health sideways.

Learn the difference. 🧐

#silence #resentment #disconnection #isolation #detachment #avoidant attachment #ignoring

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

“The core experiences of psychological trauma are disempowerment and disconnection from others. Recovery, therefore, is based upon the empowerment of the survivor and the creation of new connections. Recovery can take place only within the context of relationships; it cannot occur in isolation. In her renewed connections with other people, the survivor re-creates the psychological faculties that were damaged or deformed by the traumatic experience. These faculties include the basic capacities for trust, autonomy, initiative, competence, identity, and intimacy. Just as these capabilities are originally formed in relationships with other people, they must be reformed in such relationships.”

— Trauma and Recovery, Judith Herman

[alive on all channels]

#relationship #recovery #trauma #psychological trauma #disempowerment #disconnection #Trauma and Recovery #Judith Herman #alive on all channels

[outstanding-quotes]

this body, with all of its capacities, seemed nothing— nothing at all. She had the oddest sense of being herself invisible; unseen; unknown;

Virginia Woolf; Mrs. Dalloway

#virginia woolf #mrs dalloway #prose #fiction #classic novels #quote #literature #lit #English lit #body #depersonalization #dissociation #disconnection #unseen #unknown #invisible #feeling invisible #loneliness #isolation #womanhood

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

I missed you today, orange. 🍊

#orange #color #nature #beauty #miss #love #longing #nostalgia #absence #presence #connection #disconnection #gratitude #appreciation

[vizthedatum]

Trauma, which can occur with a wide variety of events, happens when there is a profound disconnect between your sense of self and your body, mind, or spirit.

#my thoughts #trauma #healing #neurodivergence #self love #abuse #ptsd #cptsd #disconnect #disconnection #a spectrum

[austinkleon]

With that in mind, I might suggest a more counterintuitive solution: Stop fighting the fear of dumbness and instead embrace it. Like most people who want to “go dumb,” I assume that you’re attracted in part to the term’s association with silence—the desire to dial down the chatter—but unsettled by some of its more unflattering synonyms, like idiocy. But idiocy was not always weighted by the negative associations it now carries. The word stems from the Greek idiotes, which referred to Athenians who were essentially laypersons—those who, unlike soldiers, scribes, and politicians, maintained little connection to the affairs of the state. It meant “on one’s own” or “private” (meanings that persist in words like idiosyncratic) and was reserved for those who enjoyed a freedom and autonomy from public life, the kind of existence that often serves as a haven for independent thought. Gilles Deleuze argued that idiocy was intimately linked to philosophy, beginning with Socrates, who famously recognized that he “knew nothing” and claimed this made him wiser than those who believed themselves intelligent.

Meghan O’Gieblyn on “dumbphones”

#analog #dumb phones #phones #disconnection #internet

[poligraf]

If ignorance and passion are the foes of popular morality, it must be confessed that moral indifference is the malady of the cultivated classes. The modern separation of enlightenment and virtue, of thought and conscience, of the intellectual aristocracy from the honest and common crowd is the greatest danger that can threaten liberty.

— Henri-Frédéric Amiel

#life quotes #lifequotes #light #quote #quote of the day #quoteoftheday #quotes #wisdom #Henri-Frédéric Amiel #morality #ignorance #passion #virtue #enlightenment #moral indifference #indifference #culture #cultivated class #separation #division #disconnection #disconnect #thought #conscience #intellect #intellectual aristocracy #honesty #common crowd #populace #danger

[kalasser1962blog]

#digitalart #hallucination #art #trippy #aiart #altered-reality #ai #surreal #disconnection

[quotationsworld]

You have been trying to disconnect yourself from reality for so long, that now you feel as if you don't belong here. You see yourself as an alien amongst other people. You long for a home that doesn't exist.

— Unknown

#disconnection #reality #dissociation #life #stranger #home #homesick #longing #outsider #loneliness #escape #sadness #hopelessness #distress

[unwelcome-ozian]

I have a quick question about something you reposted about being disconnected to yourself. How does feeling overwhelmed and being disconnected to oneself relate? I think I understand the feeling numb one but not overwhelmed. I’m always feeling overwhelmed, and I hardly even do much at all.

Disconnection tends to occur when someone is in a state of continued stress. As a result of a state of continued stress, the body’s fight or flight response is activated all of the time and eventually they start shutting down.

Feelings of being disconnected, and disconnection can happen in many ways. Someone can feel disconnected from others, from themselves, and from life in general. Feelings of disconnection may affect one's ability to enjoy their lives, such as not being able to enjoy basic activities, work, relationships, and each coming with different levels of severity.

Take care,

Oz

#answers to questions #Overwhelmed #disconnected #disconnection

[inuterology]

epiphanies 2

My worry right now is that I can no longer trust anyone in my life. I laugh and smile when I’m with them to keep up appearances but I feel this extreme anger and distress towards the people in my life. I feel abandoned and discarded even when I’m welcomed at home. Everything around me feels like a lie. I’m angry I’m angry I’m angry. No one can be trusted, the people around me are never genuine. I feel alienated and with my immoral thoughts, I feel like a monster. I feel unclean even after I take a shower. Every single part of my skin feels like it has dirt and blood on it. Like I just murdered a man and ran away. I constantly feel disgusting.

I don’t want to live at home anymore. I just want to be physically isolated forever. But when people throw me away or get annoyed and angry at me. All I can think about is either killing them or commiting suicide. “They don’t want me anymore.” or “They left me behind and they think of me as lesser.” 

Nothing is wrong with me physically, but I’m in pain. There’s a knife stabbed into my chest emotionally and I feel a gaping hole, a sense of viral emptiness in my ego spreading all over my body and mind. I lie in bed and I try to sit with it. I hate everyone, I hate my family. They have taken everything away from me even if they’re giving away all they can for me. I resent my family. They have unknowingly neglected and abandoned me for I show too much emotion, I feel too much pain and not enough pleasure in life. 

I hate my parents and I hate God with enough rage to burn heaven. But I also miss them, want them, hope for their care and protection. When I lie down and stare at the ceiling, I envision myself in a place of prayer, in front of God, who is also a reflection of my parents. I am an adult filled with venom and grudge and I bring down a dagger and rip His blood and soul out of His body. But at the same time I am a child lifting my hands up to my parents, wanting them to carry me in their arms, to give me kisses and hug me so tight I cannot breathe and during that moment, I am filled to the brim with love and warmth.

The child in me has outlasted her stay. She must hide inside the fort that is the adult that has only known neglect and betrayal all her life. The adult is filled with physical scars and emotional wounds, she is about to collapse after all that has happened, but the child misses her parents,the child wonders where her grandmother has gone. The child is filled with love and longing for her grandmother and her parents that once adored her.

My grandmother was my saviour. She showed me so much love even when she was dying and it never came to my mind at that time that she was slipping away. I was filled with her and as a young girl I never realised how much of her I was dependent on. So when she left, a huge part of me died with her and never got to grow up. I grew up bereft and there’s a piece of myself missing, and the hole grows as I walk away from my own parents.

#tumblr diary #depression #abandoment issues #religious guilt #religious hatred #disconnection #emptiness #hurt feelings #sadness #guilt #rage #actually ocd #rumination #harm ocd

[addictivecontradiction]

Fanny och Alexander, 1982

#drama #fanny och alexander #fanny and alexander #ingmar bergman #ewa fröling #disconnection

[aheadofgold]

My Search for Meaning

Searching for meaning feels redundant. I never thought about it until I needed to do it. I lived and moved through life and I didn’t have a lot to question. I’ve had plenty of discomfort, and I've grown from it and allowed it to shape my perspective. I’ve even allowed it to shape my compassion. And over the past year things have changed.  

I’m at least half way through my life. I’m not where I want to be because I had no plan to be anywhere. I thought things fell into place or opportunities approached me or I would meet someone who would change my direction. And those things didn’t happen. So now I search for meaning.  

But everyone searches for meaning. It has been written about by billions of people since the invention of writing. And here I am, in the same dark night of the soul, with only myself to make sense out of it. Their words all make sense, and in certain ways can be comforting, but this is not their life. This is my life. It comes down to actually participating in my experience, making choices for myself, prioritizing my own path, and shedding habits and ruts and expectations. 

At times I've thought myself a sort of regular, ordinary person. I’ve thought that I have an average perspective and that my opinions align with most other people’s. I’ve thought that the same things make sense to most of us and that we generally find the same things reasonable. Now, more than ever, I question that. 

I’ve always been a lover of the wonder and beauty and complexity of life around me. I grew up running around cornfields as they grew higher and higher through the summer. I wandered through streams and woods and climbed trees and sat by fires. I spent cold winter days getting lost in snow, and then lost in my own thoughts in the silence of the frozen world. That is no longer my world, and I realize that for the majority of people I encounter it has never been their world. This is a disappointing disconnect for me to accept. 

It bothers me that our bird populations are declining rapidly. It bothers me that our soils are poisoned by pesticides and fertilizers and motor oils. And it bothers me even more that it doesn’t bother anyone else. It bothers me that people don’t see these things, much less want to talk about them. It bothers me that to most people, humans are the only lives that exist in the world.  

Everything is always in the context of the human experience.  And it makes sense. I’m here writing about my own human experience. We all live in our own minds with our own preferences and worries and things to do. But it’s sad how there is no room for other life. When we speak of war, it is only in reference to how war kills people.  No mention of the flowers and land.  No mention of the rabbits and butterflies.  No mention of the rivers.  No mention of anything but humans.  As if it would be possible to live in a world of only humans. As if we could ever find happiness in a world of just humans.  As if destroying all life around us, polluting the air, water and soil, so long as humans can live, would be ok.  As if that would even be possible.  As if humans can live independently.  As if our food does not come from the land, as if our breath does not come from the sky, as if our blood sweat and tears are not made from the rains and oceans.  As if inspiration and beauty do not come from forests and mountains.  From birdsong and the breeze through trees. 

I feel like no one understands this.  No one sees that all life is interwoven and linked and interdependent. Humans focus on our one piece, as is that one piece stands a chance at survival without the other pieces. This disappoints and distresses me. 

I think maybe the core of wanting to blog is to exist in reality.  As the deep version of myself.  To at least put things out there.  Maybe I don’t try to have these conversations with people in my life.  Maybe my relationships and connections are shallow or short.  Maybe people don’t enjoy talking about deep things or real things.  Maybe I don’t have the right context to have these conversations.  I know that there is more to life than being a monk in a wildflower meadow.  I love being that monk.  That witch.  I love it.  And, I also want to live in the world.  I want to talk to people and do things and go places.  And maybe for now it’s just through the electricity of the internet. 

Or maybe this is quite selfish.  For me to dump and upload and empty and vacate and expose and cut and chop and throw up and out.  Maybe it’s just self-aggrandizing and desiring recognition for my existence.  Maybe that’s it.  It’s possibly that simple.  But I'm bored and tired of just fading away.   

I possibly have a lot of life left in me.  This mid-life crisis can lead me in many different directions.  There were many things that I did not choose in the first half.  Where I was born, who was my family, who were my peers, how I looked, whom I was attracted to, the tools I had to handle life.  But in one way or another, I am choosing almost everything in this next half.  My jobs, my downtime, my hobbies, my friends, my evenings, my disposable income, the media I consume, the places I go. 

Whatever change is happening to me, for me, around me, within me, cannot be managed by force.  I can’t surround it with rules and schedules and punishments and rewards. I have tried that, and I keep trying to try that again because it hasn’t gotten me where I'm trying to go, and so far I haven’t developed a different way.  But I have a new idea: I’m going to love myself into evolution.  These things that I see as obstacles and inconveniences and stressors, I'm going to look for the opportunities they provide. 

There are invasive species all over my land. The Autumn Olive, Multiflora Rose, Oriental Bittersweet, Burning Bush, Garlic Mustard.  For the most part they stress me out. But the other day I saw that they give me the opportunity to get outside and be on the land.  My relationship to my spirituality has become stale and obligatory, but this Samhain I saw that my rituals are opportunities to be under the moonlight and that the moonlight is an opportunity for me to practice my rituals.  I have opportunities to breathe, to rest, to reflect, to write.  I can stop running from my life and start living in it.  The obstacles become my path.  There is nothing for me to avoid, because this is the life that I have and that I'm living.  It’s all I have.  I want to live it.  I don’t want to keep running from it, like it’s misdirected or needs to be corrected.  All of my joys, all of my hesitations, all of my fear and petty annoyances.  These are what I have.   

I’m recognizing a shift for me. The repercussions of that are many when I give myself time to think about them. I need to clear space for this. I need space to expand and contract freely. It means I'm drinking less, which means I’m seeing my friends less. It means noticing when I'm just going through the motions of watching videos or scrolling or playing games and then finding something else, anything else, to do. Maybe that’s boredom. But I need to have open, free space for something new to land and grow. I need to be ok not knowing what I'm doing, and not knowing where I'm going, and being uncomfortable. Maybe for a while. It means to stop people pleasing, and start prioritizing my own life. In some ways it feels like going all the way back to the person I was, wandering through cornfields and jumping streams.  

There was no doubt that I loved who I was back then. That I enjoyed my own company and that I was content to do whatever came up. I didn’t need to have a plan because I was secure in my own position. I was my own stability. It didn’t matter what happened around me, I was sure inside. 

What would it feel like again? If I allowed people to have their opinions without trying to share my perspective on top of it? If I didn’t care whether people liked what I thought or wrote or whether anything I did was helpful to other people? What if I just planted wildflower meadows and watched the life they attract, and built birdboxes and watched them live and breed and fly away, and sat outside in the breeze or the snow or the sunshine and just allowed myself to be happy with what I already have and what I already do? 

I would breathe easier.  I would smile more.  I might even be a nicer person. 

I can’t save the world. I can’t make people care about rabbits and soil health. But I care. And I can live in that, and enjoy that, and support that. I don’t need anyone’s permission for that. And all it would really take is a little shift, a little time, a little space and freedom for these things to take root in my life and transform me. I don’t know if a seed knows what kind of plant it will become. But it reaches down for its water and reaches up for its light, and it becomes whatever it is. I don’t know what I'm going to become. I’m just going to reach for the things that I need. 

#search for meaning #dark night of the soul #life #nature #disconnection #connection #midlife crisis #obstacle is the path #samhain

[outstanding-quotes]

Two people hardly ever want the same thing at any given point in life. It is sometimes the hardest part of being human.

Claire Keegan, Walk the Blue Fields

#claire keegan #walk the blue fields #short story #fiction #quote #literature #lit #irish literature #relationships #disconnection #desire #human #love #love quote #life #life quotes