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#first semester where i end things off with all a's :-) safe to say changing my major to art was the right choice
marblerose-rue · 22 days
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completed my sophomore year of college :-) (and now im gonna sleep for the next 2374039475347 years)
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thetriplets3 · 10 months
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hii hru?? can you do “lingering looks, they should have turned away seconds ago” from the prompt list with matt?? thank uu
started with this idea, got carried away and I have no idea if what I wrote makes any sense but enjoy and thank you for your request I loved writing this
⁵⁵⁵ change ⁵⁵⁵
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Matt and I are best friends, always have been, probably always will be but he’ll never see me as anything more. I was always closer to Matt than his brothers. He was the first person I’d go to if I needed anything. Sick, upset, happy, hurt, excited, you name it Matt was first to know.
Matt has this ability to make anyone feel safe, welcomed and loved. He has such a warm gentle soul and his presence is always a comfort to me. We’re both very affectionate people, hugs, cuddling, linking arms in crowded spaces, or pats on the back in passing. I haven’t seen Matt and his brothers in about 8 months, other than FaceTime calls since I moved away for school. The semester has come to an end which means I’m back home for the summer.
Wanting to see all my friends, the boys invited me to stay at their home in LA for a few weeks. Arriving to their house I take everything around me in, almost inspecting the place. They moved here about 3 months ago but since I was away at school I haven’t been here yet. My inspection is quickly interrupted by Chris swinging the front door open and squealing my name out, before tackling me in a tight, much needed hug.
“Missed you kid” he says, ruffling my hair as I’m bending down to take my shoes off.
“You’re literally the child here, kid” I joke.
Settling all my stuff into Nick’s room, he and I head to the living room to watch a movie. I’ve made myself comfortable in the corner seat of the couch curled in a ball on my side, resisting the urge to fall asleep.
Hearing what sounded like something falling, my eyes curiously drift in the direction of the noise, stopping briefly on Nick whose clearly used to this type of thing before looking up only to be met with Matt regaining his balance. I smile, taking in his presence and energy. Our eyes meet and it feels like time has stood still. We’ve FaceTimed a bunch over the last 8 months so it’s not like I haven’t seen them at all but seeing him in person after all this time feels different. A good different.
Seeing how much he’s changed makes my heart do backflips. I was worried when I moved away that the boys and I would grow apart but they made sure to let me know it’s gonna take a lot more than me moving to lose them. They look happier, there’s a glow to them. You can tell that they’re at a good place in their life just by looking at them. Matt had this air of confidence around him that he didn’t have when I left. He seems more comfortable with himself and happy, which makes me happy. His style has definitely changed and improved since I saw him last. I’ve always loved his style and now he radiates confidence. My love for him grows seeing him in person after so long. The change of moving from where I grew up with all my friends and family around me to living alone half way across the country scared me to death. But now that I’m standing here in front of him, change doesn’t seem so scary.
“Hi sorry to interrupt this little love reunion going on but there’s a movie playing and this vibe going across the room is interfering with that so do something other than stand there please” Nick exasperates.
To appease him we breaks eye contact and Matt makes his way to me, sitting next to me. Opening his arms, inviting me in for a hug I scoot over with my blanket wrapped around me and melt into his hold. Like 2 pieces of a puzzle. Shifting to bring my knees to my chest, I rest my head on his shoulder awkwardly, not being able to fully reach it.
Sensing my discomfort he gently grabs hold of my legs pulling them to lay atop of his lap. Our eyes flicker to each other with a soft smile. Taking his hint to get comfier I rest my head between his shoulder and neck, wrapping my right arm across his body and letting the other lay in my lap. His left hand lies over my knees and the other securely around my back, his thumb mindlessly rubbing my arm.
My eyes shut for a moment taking this feeling in. This feels different than every other time we’ve cuddled. Usually it’s just a head against a shoulder, head on the chest but this feels like it’s beyond those boundaries. He’s holding me to him like he doesn’t want me to leave, the hands on my leg feels intimate, it’s like he’s trying to tell himself I’m actually here and he’s not imagining it. I’m not complaining. I’ve spent the last 8 months just dying to be back with my people, my safe place.
A tear slips from my eyes. My hand grabs a hold of his shirt, balling it in my fist. Feeling a hitch in my breathing he tightens his hold on me letting me know he’s here. He places a soft kiss on the top of my head.
“I’m here sweet girl, I’m not leaving” he whispers.
Wanting to see his face I shift my head slightly resting my cheek on his shoulder softly smiling up at him. I’ve always admired his perfect bone structure and his stubble makes him look much more mature. My favorite color lies in his eyes. My cheeks tinted pinks, watery eyes, and soft pout on my face causes a small laugh to escape his mouth.
“You’re so beautiful. You seem happier than when you moved, it suits you” his eyes scan over my face landing on my eyes “I missed you life’s not the same without you here” he continues looking at me, taking in every detail, wanting to remember this new version of me. “I love you” he says with a slight chuckle to ease the tension he might have created.
“That’s the first thing I thought when I saw you, you seem more confident and happy, still clumsy but you look at peace with where you are. All I could think about for 8 months was coming back and being here with you. The camera doesn’t do you justice” I say. The words I’ve been wanting to say for so long dance on my tongue, nervous to show themselves. “I love you”. Finally.
Hearing that makes him smile, making me smile. I can’t not smile when he does it’s irresistible. Placing a sweet kiss to my forehead, I nuzzle my head back into the crook of his neck as he holds me closer.
“I wasn’t aware I picked a romance movie, gross” Nick says with disgust and sarcasm dripping from his voice.
Change isn’t always a bad thing, it leads you to exactly what you need in life at the right time.
taglist: @antisocialties @iluvmatt @dwntwn-strnlo @fake-coolbeans @opheliaofficial07 @angelcake-222 @oneirophobic @strniolo
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(I think I may have asked this before, but I don't remember if I finally sent the message, so if I did, I apologize for spamming and please ignore this message) What if Quaritch was sentenced to prison for a longer period of time and was released when Spider was 18/19+ years old and he would have already left the foster care system? Would he still kidnap him or would he tried other methods to contact him?And how would it change Spiders' entire attitude, now that he is an adult and doesn't need care so much anymore and is just starting to discover his path in life?
I do think you sent this ask twice but no need to apologize because I feel like you expanded on the idea with this second ask.
So you mentioned in your other ask that Quaritch would have no way to build the cabin but actually if he got this idea in his head while he was in prison then he would have team deja blue build it for him. So the cabin would still be an option but he would try to reach out to Spider first.
So let's say Spider ends up in the Sully's care at age 15 like in the second prologue and they officially adopt him shortly after. He just started his first semester of college when he gets the news that his father is out of prison. He stays on guard but tries not to worry. After all his father has never been part of his life. Why would he even care about him at this point? He's shocked to say the least when he gets' a letter in his dormitory mailbox asking to meet. Spider immediately calls Jake and Neytiri asking what he should do. Neytiri is adamantly against Spider seeing Quaritch. Jake however, acknowledges that Quaritch is still his bio dad and if Spider wants to sit down and have a conversation with him then it is completely his choice. Spider's still unsure. He thinks his father is a monster for the things he did in the war and even entertaining the idea of having a relationship with him fills him with guilt. Besides he pretty content without him.
He gets another letter a few weeks later, this one much more heartfelt. Quaritch tells him how much he loves him. That there wasn't a single day where he didn't think about him constantly, hoping he was safe, happy and healthy. That the loss of time together broke his heart and that all he wanted was a chance. His phone number is on the bottom of the page. Spider feels like he re-reads that letter a million times, the outpouring of love from a man he hates tearing him up inside. He thinks about ripping it to pieces and scattering it to the wind but can never bring himself to do it.
After a party he comes back to his dorm drunk off his ass, decides fuck it, and texts the number a mesially, hi. The reply in an almost insantous Son? Even drunk he panics. What was he just waiting by his phone this entire time?! He responds with, I go by Spider. Even over text he can feel the bitterness behind the, so I've heard. quickly followed up with a do you want to meet? We can get breakfast tomorrow. My treat. Spider tosses his phone away unable to make a decision in his current state. Not long after the alcohol pulls him under into a deep sleep.
What he doesn't know is that Quaritch had watched him at that party. Had followed him back to his dorm, and was just outside Spider's window when he received his text.
Now from here it can go a few different ways.
If Spider never reaches out again then yeah Cabin Quaritch will kidnap him probably by slipping something into his drink at a party and carting him off.
If Spider wakes the next morning, reads over his texts, decides fuck it and agrees to get breakfast with Quaritch things could either go well and they start to build some kind of relationship together or it goes really bad, and Quaritch comes away from the conversation convinced Spider is brainwashed by the Sully's and it's in his son's best interest to take him away.
So those are my thought! Hope you enjoyed, and thank you for the question 💞
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rohitgurumith · 1 year
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REFLECTIONS ON MY LEARNING
The Practice 1 Module and Semester A will be coming to an end in a few days and i just want to take a step back to reflect on my learning and my progress as an animator in these past few months.
I made alot of mistakes, but i also managed to learn from those mistakes and came back stronger and Its safe to say that i've definitely improved in terms of both knowledge and technical skillsets. I will be listing all the new things i learnt in all the 5 briefs and the 2 developed projects this semester,and share how this module changed my way of working overall.
BRIEF 1 : RED VS BLUE -
I still remember this week very clearly because it was my first week into the course and i was very confused on how to approach things. I also never had the habit of storyboarding, concept art and taking references until when i had to work on my portfolio for applying to the course. I would usually dive right into working when it came to my previous projects.
So i was still fairly new to all that and i only had a week and a half to complete the storyboards,concept designs and the animatic. another problem i had was the fact that i couldnt think of a simple concept for the brief. i just kept thinking about complex storylines that were impossible to fit in just 30 seconds. so when alex asked me to redo the whole thing from scratch with a new concept, i was terrified since i only had 3 more days until the submission date.
This is where the fearless hardworker in me started grinding and i got the job done in 3 days with a simple yet efficient animatic with good storyboard, concept art and fairly decent designs compared to the previous one. i was appreciated by the class and alex for picking myself back up so quickly.
I studied animal head movements and looked at some reference material for the wings of the chickens so i can judge how they would move from a certain angle. i also studied the facial expressions of animals in cartoons which was also pretty helpful.
BRIEF 2 : PLACES OF THE MIND -
For this brief, i once again intended to keep the concept very simple but complex at the same time. what i meant by that was the fact that the thought process and coming up with the idea would be simple (since i based it off of my real life experiences and how my mind works sometimes) and the workflow would be complex (2D character with 3D backgrounds, dynamic camera movements and animating 3D objects)
I got some 3D models to help me find some key poses, saving me alot of time. I also looked at and refered to several street layouts until i found the right one. I would say that i learnt to brush up the timing skills since this animatic and the movements of the character were highly dependent on the beat of the soundtrack used.
BRIEF 3 : MEMORY AND NOSTALGIA -
For this brief, Alex advised me not to use any manga styled characters and he wanted me to find my own style of character designing. So i did my research on different styles of character designing and did alot of rough sketching until i found the right one. though the animatic and concept itself didnt achieve what it was intended to, i still got appreciation for trying something new with my character design
BRIEF 4 : OPTICAL SOUND -
For this brief i only had 24 hours to do everything since i was preoccupied and not in a good place mentally during that week due to a family emergency.
My roommate was talking about cleaning our room soon and that sparked the idea in my head. i looked around my room, quickly modelled it in 3D to get the perspectives right and made a simple animatic of someone cleaning thier room when listening to music. that was the simplest concept i could think of and get done within 24 hours. i ended up completing everything on time and the class absolutely loved it to the point where they suggested me to develop it further.
BRIEF 5 : LIGHT AND SHADOW -
For this brief i wanted to use a "Tom and Jerry" (Hanna,Barbera,1980) type concept where a mouse tries to steal a snack and get away with it.
I had to study the positioning of shadows according to different sources and angles of light since this took place in a dark room. I also looked at alot of dark room references so it would help me find the one that fits my environment and lighting placement.
RED VS BLUE : DEVELOPMENT -
I wanted this to have a studio ghibli artstyle but also wanted it to have detailed compositing. So i decided to create an amalgam of different styles i researched ,adjusted it according to my will and added my own touches to it. I inspired my color palette from studio ghibli, did the compositing in my own way until it got a lively and vibrant look. I also learnt a new style when doing my background paintings for this animation
PLACES OF THE MIND : DEVELOPMENT -
This was the most challenging project for me so far because i learnt alot about the value of proportions when working with a 3D environment. I also dove in depth with the compositing since i wanted to make the environments look as vibrant and flashy as possible.
CONCLUSION :
I would say that i have a broader mind now with the capability to think about alot of simple quick ideas rather than lengthy and complex ones. I learnt new things from Sean's workshops and Alex's seminars. I also developed the habit of having a backup plan just as good as the initial one just in case something goes wrong. My backup plans have worked and been recieved well by my tutor and my class 3 times in this semester and its safe to say that i have inherited alot of habits that a professional animator should have and i only intend to fly higher and learn more new things.
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midday0nightmares · 3 years
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31 - a week later.
Previous chapter a rat.
m.list.
warnings: this series contains themes of yandere\mafia, blood, violence, mental health, drugs, non-con.
author note: this is pure fiction and it is not intended to romanticize any of the situations mentioned bellow.
3 days after.
“Jeno .. can I ask you something?” 
“Sure” he replied,
 jeno too has changed, he has become more caring towards you like he was stepping to fill jaemins place, while jaemin was occupied.
Jeno was more controlled, he didn’t show much, if you didn’t know what had happen you would have believed everything was fine.
“What’s gonna happen to me if..? You know” ,
you leave the questions unfinished, but jeno understands what you wanted to ask.
His mouth opens to speak but closes shut again, he takes a minute to think before he answers “I don’t know”.
His honesty although appreciated didn’t help at all.
 “but, I will do my best to make sure you’er taking care of” he reach to hold your hand over the table, gently squeezing it to reassure you.
.
.
.
5 days after.
You saw less and less of jaemin.
The stress of it all was getting to you too, you were agitated.. you blamed it all on jeno.
“Why don’t you just confess?”, 
your question was loaded with hostility.
He looked at you, a desperate look on his face, he told you over and over but still he tells you again,
”it’s complicated sera”.
You scoff, his answer seemed more like an excuse than a genuine answer. “what’s complicated? You did it, you are the one who should be facing life in prison not him” you pointed at jaemin’s closed door.
He exhales, his eyes close “you don’t know what you’er talking about”.
“You killed him!” You contain to argue but he gets up and leave, ending the conversation.
Tears of anger pooled in your eyes, this is another level of injustice. 
.
.
.
6 days after.
You were quietly munching on your cereal, jeno sat across form you sipping on his bitter coffee.
The mood was tense, unstable.
The neglected tv flashed a breaking news strip that caught your attention, it was about the murder in a diplomatic’s son house, “turn the volume up” you ushered jeno.
“.. it has been determined that the leased apartment falls under diplomatic amenity and no further investigations could be carried” 
You looked at jeno, “dose it mean that they’er closing the case?” You asked, carful not to get your hopes up, he remind quiet for a minute before he nods “ yup, I guess they are”.
You jumped out of your seat, squealing with happiness “yes! Yess thank god” you grabbed his arm to share the joy but he didn’t move.
He wasn’t happy, nor relieved.. he didn’t seems to feel any thing.
You top your small celebration, “what?” You asked.
“Nothing” he stood up ready to leave, “clean up when you’er done”.
he leaves you to your wild thoughts to run the worst case scenarios. 
.
.
.
Today
The week slowly rolled over with much tension and uncertainty, jaemin has been called to the police station couple more times, you swear each time he comes back, he has aged years.
You wanted to be by his side but he didn’t even look at you when you tried to call him this morning, if he’s not out then he’s locking himself in his room. you tried knocking on his door, to get him to at least eat a proper meal but he didn’t answer. Each attempt has been met with either complete silence or a sharp temper, he would lash at you then quickly apologize.
This is not how you wanted your first semester to begin, you attended the first week of your online classes but you couldn’t really focus on what has been said, not with a disaster hanging above your head ready to drop at any minute.
And as much as you wanted to blame it all on jeno, you couldn’t anymore. The case is closed, but why is jaemin still being investigated? Could it be because of you? Did the police knew you were taken? Was it your fault?.. you tossed and turned in your bed, it felt cold and empty without him, you missed him so much. After a long string of pillow thoughts, slumber finally took mercy over you.
“y\n..” 
An unfamiliar voice calls your name.
“y\n” 
the whisper gets louder, your body tip over and fall off of an edge to an endless darkness.. you jerk out of the nightmare, drenched in sweat and gasping for air.
You clam yourself and push the heavy covers off of you, dragging your feet to the kitchen for some water, you don’t bother turning the lights on, you open the fridge door and take a bottle. The icy water clears the clouds in your mind only for the grim reality to take its place, jaemin might be taken away.. you dwell on the scary thought. 
You turn your head to see the lights of jaemins room were on, your heart clinches, he’s still awake at this ungodly hour.
Opting not bother him, you head back to your lonely bed, but the dark figure in the balcony almost gave you a heart attack.
You recognize the man, it’s jaemin.. his tall figure was standing in the dark, the phone was pressed to his ear, his demeanor was agitated, shifting his weight form one foot to the other, you couldn’t hear anything but you can tell he wasn’t happy.
You turn to see if jeno was in his room, his lights were off and his shoes were by the door. you always had the impression that they were close, partners in crime. they did all their nasty work together, but why is it only jaemin who is in this mess right now?.
“You can’t be serious !” 
Jaemin’s loud voice comes clear through the thick glass, his hand running through his hair seemingly wanting to rip it from the roots out of frustration. You can tell he was angry, desperate.. he keeps shouting but you can’t make out what he was saying. you step closer, as close as you can without being seen by him, you try to decipher his muffled voice,
 “I am your son! Your only son” 
you’er not sure if that’s what he said.. 
He speaks in a lower voice before he removes the phone from his ear, ending the call. He punches the wall next to him, he was beyond pissed.
You move to hide behind the curtain to avid angering him more, he opens the door and steps inside slamming the glass door behind him.
“I can see you” he deadpan says in the dark, since there’s no one other than you, he must be talking to you and you make the quick decision of coming out before he losses his temper. 
“Im sorry, I had a nightmare and I got up to drink wa..” You try to explain yourself but he waves his hand with not much care “Yeah yeah” and you stop talking.. he walks to his room, the dull city lights illuminating his backside, his shoulders were slumped, his back hunched with heavy burden, the sight of him broken made your heart twist inside your ribcage.
“Jaemin” you call him without a plane, he stops and looks at you, “Are you okay?”, stupid question.. 
Although it’s dark, you can feel his eyes burning holes into your face.
“Do I look okay?” He retorts,
You answered him with a small “no”
he turns to walk to his room but you speak again, “I can help you if you tell me what wrong”, bold statement.
He stops again and heavy sighs, your heart thumbs in your chest as you wait for him to speak, but all you get was a scoff, “why don’t you just know your place huh?” he asks with much condecindence, although you know he didn’t mean it, his words still hurts. 
“Just stay out of my way, you have done enough already” he adds more sharp words, twisting the planted knife in your heart.
“I just wanted to help you and be here for you” your voice breaks and you hate yourself for it, but you chock and the tears starts to gather in your eyes, he huffs and looks up to the ceiling, impatiently waiting for you to recompose yourself. But his cold nonchalant demeanor triggers more eruptions inside of you.
 the words escapes your mouth before you have thought of them.. “all I wanted was to help you, but you keep me away form you! you don’t tell me anything, no one is telling me anything! I don’t know what is happing or if I will see you when wake up the next day” you rant through the sobs, your voice getting louder and louder, and when he was fed up with you he shuts you down with a loud scream “shut up”.
 Jeno comes out of his room, bewildered and alert.. he stands in the background watching the fight evolves.
“You are not my girlfriend” he walks towards you, making you feel small and insignificant, “I don’t own you anything” his tall stature looms over your short one, that cuts deep. 
you look at him, you stare into his eyes, challenging him to take what he said back but he doesn’t.
“Yeah?” Your voice barely comes out, “fine then I guess I have no reason to stay here anymore”. you turn and stomp to where your bed is to collect your few belongings, he follows behind, his steps shaking the ground beneath you.
“where the fuck do you think you’er doing?” He asks but you ignore him, more so you couldn’t speak due to the choking knot in your throat, but your lack or response angers him even more, he grabs your arm and turns you around with much force, that it almost dislocates your shoulder, you whimper at the pain but he doesn’t care, his grip tightening even more, his eyes glazed with a dark, sinister layer.
“Jaemin!” Jeno warns, but it does nothing as another screaming match breaks between you, with him asking you the same question, not really waiting for an answer, and you shouting whatever comes to your mind first, curses, accusation, anything to hurt him. you don’t know who started it first but hands were being thrown, jeno was trying to break you apart, but  eventually, jaemin overpowered you and threw you over his shoulder like a rag doll, your kicking and screaming did nothing against him.
 “Jaemin” jeno shouted at his friend who was in a trance, muttering the filthiest insults under his breath.
“Where are you going? Jaemin!” jeno tries to reason with him. at this point jaemin was like a robot, marching to his room, he kicks the door to his bedroom open, he slams you to his bed, knocking the wind out of you. 
“Jaemin! Calm down” jeno was trying to stop whatever jaemin was doing, he kneels and opens his safe, jeno’s voice getting louder, you were paralyzed with fear everything is happing so fast for your brain to form a response.
Jeno was trying to pry jaemin’s hands out of the safe, “come on! don’t do something you’ll regret”, jeno was almost begging him to stop.
jaemin finally broke out of his trance and turned to jeno “get out!”,
but jeno stood in his place like a pillar, his presence seems to clam jaemin, he takes a deep breath and pushes his hair back “I know what im doing” he speaks calmly this time before he turns back to you, you swallow the thick knot “jaemin please..” pleadings to spare your life were timid but loud enough to be heard, your body crawls as far away from him before the wall stops you.
He kneels down and reaches again inside the safe, for a second the time has stoped, everything moved in slow motion. 
He takes out a metal handcuffs out of the safe, the blood that was frozen in your vines moved again, you let go of a breath you didn’t know you were holding.. jeno does the same “fuck..” he must have thought the same, he too believed jaemin was about to kill you.
Your limbs fell weak and cold due to the withdrawal of the adrenaline that filled your bloodstream, you feel sick, dizzy.
The bed dips under jaemin’s weight next to you, your head falls back into his soft pillows, aimless tears rolls down your temples, you give him your hands to cuff. you are worn out, you surrender.
He takes both of your arms and cuffs them to the headboard of his bed, your eyes meet, you don’t look away and neither does he. He looks down at you.. his eyes pours inside of your soul.
Dark circles beneath his eyes, dry lips, heavy eyelids but still, still handsome as ever. he leans down to kiss your watery eyes, “for my sanity sake” he whispers between the kisses.
He throws his covers over you, and turns the lights off before he leaves and close the door behind him. 
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devilyn · 3 years
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belated regrets | kuroo tetsurou
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— alexa, play: remember me by umi
Cuz I'm getting older Know that I've changed But I can't go back now Nothing's the same And I won't forget how You called my name When I was afraid And now I'm afraid
— synopsis: after taking advantage of your friendship, what will kuroo do to win it back?  — genre: angst, friends to lovers if you squint — word count: 3.1k
This wasn't like you. You had stopped crying over Kuroo months ago. You stopped thinking about whether or not he had eaten yet, if he had gotten home safe, if he would text you goodnight, and yet here you were. You were crying again, after claiming you moved on and healed, and after telling all your friends that you would cut him out of your life.
You wish you blocked his number. It felt mean to do it back then, but you really wish you did, because now you definitely wouldn't be able to.
"I think we should take some time apart," were the words you whispered to him over the phone one night a few months back when he was telling you about some girl he had gotten close to in his chemistry lecture.
There was a painful silence that lasted over 15 long seconds. You'd never forget. You counted, after all.
"Why?" he asked quietly. "You're my best friend. What did I do wrong?"
Your 'friendship' had always been strange, after all. Everyone told you that, and even Kenma firmly believed that the two of you would end up dating eventually. But every time, Kuroo would laugh and ruffle your hair while proclaiming he would never date you.
And every time, you'd force a smile and agree with him.
"This friendship...just isn't what it used to be," you answered. It was true. Ever since the two of you got to college, things had changed. He met different people through his classes and bustling parties, and thus different girls that he'd ask you about. You manufactured his sweet texts to them, all while wishing he'd send them to you and feel just as nervous calling you late at night. You'd help guide him through the process of asking her out, then let him come over and be sad when he was rejected. 
Every aspect of your friendship became about him, him, and him. His academics were doing well--he was a surprisingly smart man after all--but they took a toll on him mentally, as they do to all college students. The same happened to you as well, but never once did Kuroo ask about how you were doing, how you were feeling, how you were coping with the sudden changes to your life.
You kept in contact with Kenma, who you'd text once in a while to tell him about how much you hated his previous captain. And Kenma would listen to you cry over the phone about his foolish childhood friend that knew nothing about your growing feelings for him. He was the only person who kept you grounded, and understood that your feelings for Kuroo couldn't be so easily tossed aside as the rest of your friends claimed. He also was the one who encouraged you to end your friendship with Kuroo gently, knowing that he would have to deal with the aftermath of Kuroo's confusion.
"Can I fix it somehow?" Kuroo asked in a panic, and you laughed bitterly. You had asked him many times to fix things--his treatment of you as if he were your therapist being the main one. He’d apologize, yet things would always end up returning to how they were before, with you being at the bottom on his list of priorities.
"Not anymore," your voice cracked, and you cleared your throat to pretend like you weren't crying. "I think you'll be fine without me."
“Y/N--”
“Don’t call me from now on, please. Don’t come over, because I won’t answer the door,” you paused. “...you’re still going to be my friend. I just need space.”
A lie. You knew it, and Kenma did too when you rehearsed your lines to him. He told you such, but you couldn’t bear to tell Kuroo the truth.
And even as you hung up, deep down, you wished he would disobey your wishes. You wanted him to text you and come to his senses, realizing he was wrong. You wanted to relive late night calls where you would laugh and talk about absolutely nothing just because you couldn’t fall asleep. You wanted to go back to him showing up at your front door with a bucket of fried chicken to reward you for studying hard for your midterm exams. You wanted to lay next to him on a grassy field again, where he was gazing up at the stars and you were mesmerized by how beautiful your best friend was, inside and out.
But Kuroo never called. You no longer sent him good morning texts, asking how his day was, and he stopped asking for your advice. It was like the two of you were less than friends. You’d only speak when you sent him an occasional meme that reminded you of him, or a song you knew he would enjoy. He’d respond earnestly, as if your friendship of over four years wasn’t shattered during that one call months ago.
Kenma called you an idiot for not cutting him off entirely, and you would have to agree with him. You were an idiot who was head over heels for a man who would never share your feelings.
It took months for you to get over it, but the distance you put between the two of you definitely helped. So why was it, all of a sudden, after you were finally healing and moving on, that Kuroo decided to call you out of nowhere?
You stared at your buzzing phone, the image of a stupid face Kuroo made flashing on your screen. 
Should you pick up? Should you pretend like you didn’t see his call? During your time contemplating, his photo faded away and your phone stopped vibrating angrily against your coffee table. 
Your heart felt like it was going to beat through your chest when you saw the ‘one missed call’ notification flicker mockingly at you. You stared at your phone, breath hitching in your throat when suddenly, you received a new text from none other than Kuroo Tetsurou himself.
“Fuck,” you cursed, leaning your head back against the couch and groaning loudly. Should you call Kenma? You could already feel a headache incoming. 
Why? Why did Kuroo always do this to you? He’s always had terrible timing, and apparently that never changed.
You plucked your phone from the table, braving it all and finally reading what he had to say to you.
“I’m sorry.”
“Are you fucking serious,” you grumbled, squeezing your eyes shut to chase away the anger building up inside of you. “Now? Now of all times? Does he even know what he’s sorry for?”
It wasn’t uncommon for Kuroo to apologize to you just because he knew you were upset. Still, you always forgave him solely because he was your best friend. But now, you knew better.
Fully ready to toss your phone aside, your eyes caught a new text from your ex-best friend.
“I’m really sorry, Y/N.”
Liar.
“I’m sorry for that one time I told you I’d help you study for your chemistry exam but ended up forgetting and missing all your texts and calls.”
You remembered that day. You had confided in him about your bad grade, and when he told you he could help you study, you were over the moon at the thought of being able to raise your nearly failing chemistry grade (and at the thought of spending more time with him). You called him multiple times when he didn’t show up, but gave up when he didn’t pick up the fifth time. You stayed up all night studying on your own, but still ended up failing that exam. You dropped the class, and ended up taking it next semester to get a much better grade without Kuroo’s help.
“I’m sorry for when you couldn’t tell me why you cried the entire day but still let me over so I could complain about Kira turning me down.”
That day, you were extremely overwhelmed. Your roommate was out somewhere, so you were left on your own to cry over the endless amount of assignments you had to deal with, on top of everything else. Kuroo had called that day, clearly in distress, and though you were in tears, you wiped them away and put on a weak smile when he showed up at your front door with a pained expression.
You wanted to be there for him. He was your best friend, after all.
“I’m sorry for that time that I left in the middle of our movie night because Ayane called me and wanted to go out to eat together.”
Your heart stung at the memory. The sight of his back getting up from your couch while completely ignoring the hurt in your eyes was still engraved into your memory, even if you spent months trying to forget it. You had called his name, but he was too busy eagerly chattering on the phone to even hear you. When he turned around, it was to bid you goodbye before abruptly leaving you with a half-eaten bag of popcorn and an animated movie still running that you no longer felt like finishing.
“I’m sorry for making you think you didn’t mean anything to me.”
Did you make an impact on his life? Deep down, you had hoped you did, so he’d always remember you.
“I’m sorry for taking advantage of your friendship.”
That, he definitely did.
“I’m sorry for being the worst friend ever. I miss you so much, Y/N.”
Why were you crying again? Your hands came up to wipe at your cheeks before hurriedly video calling Kenma’s phone.
When he picked up, the first thing he did was sigh at the sight of your disheveled appearance. If you weren’t completely in tears, you may have laughed at his attitude towards the situation, but all you could do was let out a weak whimper.
“I think he’s drunk,” he spoke without you needing to say anything. The thought of Kuroo only texting you because he was inebriated hurt you even more.
“He’s such an asshole,” you managed to croak out between your cries. Kenma only nodded, eyes clearly focused on the screen of his PC. Briefly, they turned to look at you again and his expression softened.
“You should’ve blocked him,” he mumbled, and a weak laugh left your lips. “Are you going to reply?”
You were quiet for a bit, before shaking your head.
And with that, Kenma hummed softly. He stayed on the phone with you until you finished crying over his childhood friend, and only hung up when you finally promised him you’d call him again the next day.
Tomorrow came quicker than you thought it would, and you managed to ignore Kuroo’s messages without giving into the temptation to text him back. Your life went back to normal, relatively, aside from one thing.
“I’m sorry for yelling at you for not understanding me when you gave me advice. I was childish, and only wanted to hear what I wanted to hear.”
Now, Kuroo was texting you everyday with something he was supposedly sorry for. And now, you were calling Kenma everyday to beg him to tell Kuroo to stop, to just leave you alone so you could move on. And every day, Kenma would tell you that you both knew how stubborn Kuroo could be when he put his mind to something.
“I’m sorry for not being there for you whenever you needed me even though you were always the first one to worry about me and how I was doing.”
At this point, it had been a few days since the initial text, and you wanted nothing more than to find him and yell at him to leave you alone. You were fine with brief interactions, pretending like your feelings for him never existed and he never regarded you as someone he could trust with his deepest feelings. You were fine with that.
“I’m sorry for being stupid and being able to understand everyone else’s feelings except for my best friend’s.”
But now he was pushing your boundaries. He was asking for more than what you could give him without giving him your entire heart again. You knew, and Kenma probably knew too, that if Kuroo kept doing this, you’d end up forgiving him. You’d give up on all the work it took over the past few months to get over him and go back to being his best friend if he asked you to. All that courage you put in to cut him off in the first place would disappear, and you’d be back to square one.
“I’m sorry for not realizing you liked me, and that I like you too.”
That was the last straw.
“You’re a prick.”
His response was almost immediate.
“Can I call you?”
Before you even had the chance to reply, your phone was buzzing in your hand and you nearly dropped it in your surprise. Without thinking, you picked up. And you cursed yourself for doing that.
“Y/N,” his familiar voice calling your name in that teary tone nearly made you cry again. Instead, you bit down on your lower lip to prevent the sadness crawling up your throat. You could hear the noises of cars passing by on the other line. He must’ve been outside
“Y/N, I missed you so much,” Kuroo’s voice was weak, and cracked a bit as he spoke, as if he too was holding back tears. “Thank you for picking up the phone.”
There was silence between the two of you for a bit before you shakily breathed in.
“Please stop texting me,” you finally managed to mumble. “Please stop thinking that you actually have feelings for me just because I was a comfortable person to fall back to when you didn’t have anyone else to go on dates with at the time.”
“That’s not the case--”
“If that’s not the case, then what is, Kuroo?” you interrupted, voice trembling. “I’ve had these feelings for you for so long, and now all of a sudden I’m gone and you like me too? Fuck off, I can’t believe you of all people would think so lightly of my feelings.”
“Listen,” his voice was pleading. “It’s not like that. Can I talk to you in person?”
“If I see you, I’m just going to cry again,” you laughed bitterly. You could hear shuffling on the other line.
“Then I’ll hold you until you stop crying,” he retorted firmly, and your heart jumped in your chest. How long had you waited to hear him speak like that about you? Like he just might share the same adoration for you that you did for him?
“You won’t even be able to find me,” you mumbled more to yourself than to him. It wasn’t like you were at your apartment, after all. You needed to get away.
“If you really think that,” you jumped at the sound of his voice closer than you thought. Looking up from your feet, your traitorous heart rate raced at the sight of those familiar almond eyes and unfixable bedhead. “Then I must’ve been a really bad friend, huh?”
You spent an excessive amount of time just staring up at him from your spot on the swings, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. He had bags under his eyes, and his bedhead was a little messier than it had previously been. Despite all that, the man in front of you was undoubtedly the best friend you’d caught feelings for.
“...how’d you find me?” you finally asked as he took a seat on the swing next to your own.
“I wanna say that I’m just a genius, but honestly, you never removed me from seeing your location.”
Your eyes adjusted to the brightness of his screen. When you spotted the familiar profile photo of your smiling face on the map, all you could do was sigh. Anxiously, you ran your sweaty palms along your pants to wipe them off.
“I’ve said it a dozen times at this point,” Kuroo tucked his phone back into his pants, “But I’m really sorry, Y/N.”
“Yeah, I get it,” you mumbled, exhausted of his apologies at this point.
“I don’t know what more I can say besides I’m sorry,” he admitted weakly. You couldn’t find the courage to lift your head to look at his probably desperate expression. “I’ll be honest. I wanted to respect your wishes at first. If you wanted distance, I’d give it to you. But the more time passed, the more I missed you.”
You fiddled with your fingers and the edge of your shirt, trying to find any distraction so you didn’t have to listen to his explanation.
“I missed you so much,” he murmured, “I thought I was an idiot, for treating you the way I did. I took advantage of how comfortable I was around you, and when you finally left me, I realized how lucky I was to have someone I could be so myself with.”
He turned to look at you, and you finally lifted your gaze to meet his eyes. Your heart ached. He looked so tired.
“Have you been eating?” You asked quietly.
“See?” He smiled bitterly. “You care so much about me, and all I do is take that kindness and give nothing back.”
You felt tears prick at your eyes again as he took your hand and placed it onto his cheek, the familiar warmth of his hand reminding you that you truly would never be able to get over him.
“I hate you,” you lied through the tears slipping down your cheeks, “so much for everything you’ve done. For making me fall for you.”
“I’ll spend as long as it takes making it up to you if you’ll let me,” his other hand reached up to brush your tears away. “As your friend, and as someone who finally realized his feelings for you too late. And if I’m lucky, I hope you’ll let me back into your life.”
“It won’t be the same,” you admitted honestly. Truthfully, your friendship would never be the same after all the hurt you endured because of him. Things that may have seemed so small to other people hurt you deeply, solely because you trusted him so much.
“I trusted you to be there and to understand me,” you told him, “and you ignored all that. You can’t expect that to be fixed so quickly.”
“I know,” he brushed your hair behind your ear. “So I’ll give my all to build a new relationship with you. One where I’ll be better, and won’t hurt you ever again.”
The two of you were silent as you cried. Through your tears, you could see his wet eyes. The sight brought a weak laugh to your lips.
“Kenma said you’re way too stubborn when you put your mind to something,” you smiled sadly. “This is your last chance, Kuroo. Don’t ruin it.”
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homoose · 4 years
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Weird is Good
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Summary: A story about two people tryna make it through the age of COVID-19 in a country where people are fucking dumb lmao. My hc is that Spencer would be like wtf at all these science-denying anti-maskers. Also, two teachers just tryna make it through quarantine and remote teaching in a one bedroom apartment (this is taking place during a mandatory leave/lecture cycle).
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Category: fluff
Warnings/Includes: no warnings. reader is both a kindergarten teacher and a bruh girl with a pirate’s mouth. lots of Spencer x factz.
Word count: 3.1k
———
“We’re home for the next two weeks. ”
Spencer looked up from his desk to see Y/N kicking off her shoes, dropping her bag, and walking directly to the sink. “Starting when?”
“We get to go in on Monday to say goodbye to the kids and get any materials we might need. Then we’re home for two weeks. They’re calling it an early, extended spring break.” Y/N began her hand washing routine. As a kindergarten teacher, she’d always been a strict hand-washer. In the time of COVID, she had only become more zealous. She looked at Spencer. “Have you heard anything?”
“Since we’re so close to the end of the semester, the department head thinks they’ll try to finish out the year as normal.” He set down his pen. “I honestly don’t know. It will all depend on whether people follow the CDC guidelines. The spread of any virus is deducible mathematically, and SARS-COV2 is no different. Based on the outbreak in Italy prior to their lockdown, we can accurately describe its reproductive number, or Rt, to between 2.43 – 3.10.”
Y/N shut off the water and dried her hands on a paper towel. “In layman's terms, Dr. Reid.”
“The Rt tells how many people are infected by the contagious host,” he explained. “In the case of this strain, each infected person is infecting between two and three others. For comparison, the standard seasonal flu has an average Rt between 1.4 and 1.7.”
“So in other words, fucking yikes,” Y/N groaned. She moved to perch on the edge of Spencer’s desk.
“Indeed,” Spencer agreed. “We know how fast the flu can travel through an office or a classroom, so imagine if it was two times as transmissible. But it's also really important to understand that this number changes depending on the mitigations in place. Even prior to full lockdown, mask wearing and social distancing was somewhat common in Italy, so it’s likely the uncontrolled Rt is higher.”
“Jesus Christ.” Y/N scrubbed a hand over her face. “We’ll probably never go back.”
Spencer rubbed his hand up from her ankle to the inside of her knee. “The good news is there’s nothing special about this virus compared to others in terms of how it spreads— it’s just aerosols. So if everyone wears their mask, we’ll be able to keep the spread low.”
⧭⧭⧭
“It’s safe to say that everyone did not wear their fucking masks,” Y/N snapped. She watched from the couch as Mayor Bowser delivered the news that DC Public Schools would remain closed for the remainder of the year. “This is crazy. I mean, I knew it was coming because people in this country are absolute buffoons.” She looked at Spencer, fingers pressed to her temple. “But holy shit, are we ever going to be able to go outside again?”
“With schools and universities closed, people working remotely, and lockdown orders in place, the Rt in the US could stay low. But masks have to be worn at all times, and social distancing has to be strictly followed.” Spencer pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I just— I can’t believe people are refusing to wear masks. The empirical, peer-reviewed data clearly shows—”
“This is ‘Murica, boy.” Y/N mocked. “Ain’t no tyrannical government gonna tell me what to do!” She rolled her eyes. “Trust me, your choice to abstain from social media is paying dividends to your sanity right now.”
Spencer looked truly dumbfounded, setting his newspaper down in his lap. “But that’s just it. It’s not just in social media circles.” He gestured to the article in front of him. “This economist just argued for ‘reopening’ the economy using the justification of herd immunity. Herd immunity can be a plausible option for less lethal diseases. But this virus is not like varicella—the chickenpox,” he clarified at Y/N’s raised eyebrow. He waved his hands around in exasperation. “Putting aside the fact that one facet of herd immunity is vaccinating as many people as possible, its success completely hinges on the Rt of a disease. If you model a population based on an Rt of 2.5, herd immunity wouldn’t be achieved until approximately sixty percent of the population has been infected. Consider that the US population is currently 328 million, and sixty percent of that is 196.8 million. The current mortality rate for SARS-COV2 is 3.06 percent. 196,800,000 multiplied by 0.0306 is 6,022,080. Over six million people would die. It's simple mathematics.”
Y/N let out an exasperated breath. “It used to be that simple math and facts were enough. Now you’ve got basement scientists who think they know better than actual, literal scientists who’ve spent their entire lives studying these things.” She ran a hand over her face and gestured at the news conference still playing. “How long do you think it’ll be before we’re both trying to teach from this tiny ass living room?”
⧭⧭⧭
“Goooooooood morning, kindergarten! It’s Friday, and no Friday is a bad Friday!” Spencer smiled. As he poured his first cup of coffee, he hummed along with Y/N and 23 six-year-olds as they sang their morning song. Observing fourteen days of remote kindergarten from across the living room had given Spencer a new appreciation for elementary school teachers, particularly Y/N. She sang, danced, conducted science experiments, held puppet shows, read stories, led art projects, and fielded questions for four hours a day— three hours less than when they were in the school building. He was exhausted by proxy.
But he was also grateful for the opportunity to watch Y/N in her element. Even though they were at home, she still got dressed every day in bright, patterned sweaters and dresses— her Ms. Frizzle attire, she’d told him once. She was able to channel her personality into a kid-friendly version that her students clearly adored, never afraid to be silly or strange to get their attention and keep them engaged during the long days. He worked from home whenever possible, strangely happy to have the background noise of kindergarten over his quiet university office.
...
“Okay, but where do I put the biiiiiiiiiiiig number?” Y/N made a wide gesture with her arms. “Ariah, where should I put it? In the big box, yes! But oh no, my small number needs a friend. My three is soooooo lonely!” Y/N drew her mouth into a pout. “DJ, how can I help my three not be so sad? You’re absolutely right, let’s put that two right next to him in our number bond.”
“I’ve been waitin’  for a girl to mute,” Y/N sang into the gold karaoke mic. “I said, muuuuuuuuuute, I’m blinded by loud sounds. No, I can’t hear the friend who’s tryin’ to talk.”
“Oh boy. Kev, honey, we can— we can see you. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. We can see all of you. I can’t turn your camera off, buddy. You gotta— there we go.”
“Mute please, I need— I need everybody to mute, please. Oh my goodness where is that music coming from?” Y/N frantically searched for her index card with the picture of the mute icon, as the sounds of a highly inappropriate song blared through the computer speaker. “I know it’s so loud, guys. Why is my mute power gone?! This is why we need to make sure we keep our mute button on, kindergarten.”
“No sweetie, it’s not time to log off yet. I’m sorry, I know it’s such a long day. We have about an hour left. Do you guys wanna do a countdown? It’s the fin-al count-down! Do-do doo dooooo. Do-do-d-do-dooo…”
“Annnnnd, I should see all my friends on mute. William, hang on just a second. All my friends need to look at my picture, it’s an oval with a line through it… Okay, William, what did you bring to show us?” Y/N leaned toward the computer screen. “Grandma Kathy? O-oh, she’s— she’s in the—“ Y/N’s eyes widened. “Is that— is that an urn? Oh wow. Um, well, wow. It’s beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing that with us, William. Grandma Kathy, may she rest in peace.”
⧭⧭⧭
A week into Y/N teaching kindergarten from their living room, the university had announced its transition to online coursework for the remainder of the academic year. Spencer had to host his first zoom lecture, and he was absolutely dreading it.
“Spence, it’s going to be fine. It’s not like you’ve never been on a video conference,” Y/N assured him. She sat cross-legged on the couch, waiting for him to let her in to his practice zoom.
“Yeah, but I wasn’t running those meetings. I just showed up.” He squinted at the computer screen. “Are you in?”
Y/N barely resisted the urge to make a joke, knowing that Spencer probably wouldn’t appreciate the innuendo. “No, you have to admit me.”
“What do you mean? How do I do that?”
“There should be a box with a button that says admit.”
Spencer gestured at the computer. “Well there’s a bunch of boxes— which one should I be looking at?”
Y/N sighed and got up from the couch. “IQ of 187 and can’t find the box.”
Spencer dragged a hand through his hair. “I know I shouldn’t find this so difficult. I’m sorry you have to waste your time on this.”
“Hey, it was a joke.” Y/N grabbed his hand from where he was frustratedly pulling on his frazzled curls. “I’m sorry. That was mean and you’re already stressed enough.” She used her free hand to smooth his hair back into place. She scrunched her nose. “I love you and your limited technology skills. And honestly it’s kind of nice to have one thing I can actually teach you about.” She squeezed his hand, leaning over him to peer at his computer screen. “All right, let’s find that elusive admit button.”
When the day of his lecture rolled around, Spencer thanked all the atoms in the observable universe that Y/N had a break during his class. Within the first ten minutes, he’d managed to accidentally kick himself out of his own meeting and then somehow lose track of the screenshare button.
“No one can see me and I don’t know what happened to the screenshare option. It was there and now it’s just… gone,” he told Y/N.
She leaned over his desk, eyes tracking over the screen and mouse clicking around the desktop. “How in the world did you manage to block your camera?”
“I don’t know! I didn’t even touch it!” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t understand how it’s even possible to be this bad at this.”
Y/N bumped his knee with her own, pulling up his camera settings and preferences. “Relax. You can’t be good at everything. It’s a refreshing reminder that you’re a mere mortal like the rest of us.” With a few rapid clicks, Y/N unblocked his camera and located the screenshare bar. “There. Crisis averted. I’m just going to share your whole screen in case you want to toggle between application windows. So just be aware that they’ll be able to see everything. And then you just click here when you’re ready to stop sharing.”
When Y/N turned her head toward him to check that he understood, Spencer grabbed the side of her face and caught her lips in a kiss. Y/N smiled against his mouth, heart speeding up as he traced the seam of her mouth with his tongue.
“Um, Dr. Reid? Your um— your camera’s working now.”
Spencer nearly fell out of his chair, his cheeks about the color of the Leave Meeting icon. Y/N dropped her head, debating whether she wanted to laugh or let the earth open up and swallow her whole. She ultimately decided to compose herself, stepping back and giving a little wave to the sea of tiny, grinning zoom faces before slinking out of frame, miming sorry to one very mortified professor.
⧭⧭⧭
“Would you want to be our mystery reader next week?” Y/N asked, bookmarking the page of her novel and reclining back in bed. “You just have to pick a story to read. Oh, and think of four clues about your identity to give the kiddos.”
Spencer raised his eyebrow, continuing to read. “Any story?”
Y/N laughed. “Well they’re six, so maybe hold off on the Chaucer and Bradbury for now. A picture book would be preferable.”
“Did you know that the first picture book, Orbis Sensualium Pictus, or Visible World in Pictures, was published in 1658?” He looked up from his own book. “Czech educator John Amos Comenius wanted to create a book that would be accessible to children of all levels of ability. The educational theories he explored are actually still in practice in the field of early childhood education.” He turned toward her from his spot under the covers. “For example, when you have your students make a hissing sound and slither their arms when they produce the sound represented by the letter s? Comenius included an alphabet chart with various animal and human sounds representing each letter. He wanted to demonstrate that the incorporation of multiple senses could help increase learning.”
“I guess you don’t fix what isn’t broken,” Y/N mused. “300 years later, and we’re still using the same methods.”
“362, actually,” Spencer corrected.
She gave him a look. “Maybe we can save the Comenius for another time.”
“The genre of children’s literature encompasses some of the most profound and philosophical story telling of all time.” Spencer returned his attention to his reading.
“...So is that a yes?”
Spencer smiled. “I’ve got a book in mind.”
“And clues,” Y/N reminded him, snuggling down under the covers and reopening her book. “We need some fun clues, mystery reader.”
“Kindergarten, we have a very special mystery reader this week. Oh man, are you ready for the first clue? The mystery reader loves jell-o! Raise your little hand if you love jell-o, too. Okay, kindergarten, I see you! Lots of jell-o lovers in the house.”
“Okay, clue number two! Our mystery reader works as a community helper— remember we learned about all different kinds of community helpers; firefighters, nurses, police officers. But if the mystery reader could be anything, they’d want to be a cowboy! How cool is that?”
...
“Clue number three for our mystery reader!” Y/N sucked in a gasp. “You guys. The mystery reader can do magic. Oh my goodness, I am so excited for Friday,” she sing-songed. “Will they show us a trick? Hmmm, I don’t know. Maybe if you ask nicely.”
“Okay, my friends, the last clue. The mystery reader loves reading. They read every day, and they’ve been reading since 1983! Yes, that was a very long time ago.”
⧭⧭⧭
“Okay, any last guesses about who our mystery reader might be?” Y/N questioned.
“I think it’s your dad,” a little voice called out.
Spencer made a choking noise from where he sat, slightly off camera. Y/N laughed. “The mystery reader is decidedly not my dad, Keyshon. Remember I showed you guys the picture of him— my dad’s a farmer, so he’s kind of already a cowboy.” She clapped her hands together. “Okay, without further ado, drumroll please... Our mystery reader is…” Y/N pushed her desk chair out of frame to allow Spencer to roll in, holding her hands out. “Spencer!”
He gave a little wave, smoothing his hair, suddenly painfully self-aware and nervous about the opinions of two dozen six-year-olds. “Hi guys.”
“You’re the boy on Ms. Y/L/N’s phone.”
“Your hair is so fluffy!”
“Do you have a cowboy hat?”
“I like your sweater.”
“Can you really do magic?”
“What’s your favorite jell-o?”
“Whoa, okay, let’s remember our mute button,” Y/N, holding up her index card. “I promise you’ll get to ask Spencer all your questions after he reads the story.”
Spencer smiled at the excited faces beaming through the screen. “Yes, I’m on Ms. Y/L/N’s phone; I don’t own a cowboy hat, yet; yes, I really can do magic; and the red jell-o is my favorite.”
Y/N watched with interest as Spencer pulled out his book. He’d been secretive about his choice, so she was as curious as her students.
“This is one of my favorite stories. It’s written by Munro Leaf, and illustrated by Robert Lawson. It’s The Story of Ferdinand.” Spencer held the cover up to the camera. “Ferdinand is the bull here on the cover. This story was written in 1935, which was a long time ago! Okay are you ready?” Spencer looked out on a sea of thumbs up, turning the page to the beginning of the story. “Once upon a time in Spain, there was a bull, and his name was Ferdinand.”
Y/N smiled as she listened to Spencer read each page, recounting the story of the peaceful bull. He was an excellent storyteller, changing the inflection and expression of his voice to match each sentence. He held each page up for just the right amount of time, panning it so her students could see each detail of the black and white pictures. He added his own wonderings and exclamations here and there, and her students were decidedly enthralled. Her heart ached at how comfortable he was, how natural this was for him. She rested her chin in her hand, trying to keep her mind in the present— ignoring the persistent little mental image of Spencer as a dad.
“So they had to take Ferdinand home. And for all I know, he is sitting there still, under his favorite cork tree, smelling the flowers just quietly. He is very happy… And that’s The Story of Ferdinand.” Spencer closed the book with a soft smile. “I love this story. Ferdinand is a very special bull. What do you think makes him so special?”
“Ferdinand didn’t fight,” a little voice piped up.
“Yes!” Spencer agreed. “He practiced pacifism in the face of the persistent, ingrained militarism of his country’s culture.”
Y/N placed a hand on Spencer’s knee and gave a quick squeeze. “Right, Ferdinand chose not to fight, even though everybody else he knew wanted to.” Y/N winked at him before turning back to the screen full of kids. “All his friends thought he was kind of weird, but he just really wanted to hang out in the shade and smell the flowers, huh? Sounds pretty good to me.”
“He wasn’t bothered that the other bulls thought he was strange for wanting to be peaceful,” Spencer added. “Sometimes being different can be a good thing. The Story of Ferdinand reminds me that it’s okay to be yourself, even if other people think you’re weird.” His eyes met Y/N’s. “Because there will always be people who love and appreciate you for who you are.”
1K notes · View notes
13-reasons-ideas · 3 years
Note
requests are still open yay! MontyxOc, Oc dated Monty a year ago.. things didn’t quite work out but her & Monty maintained a close friendship some say a little too close for ex’s. She stared dating (any one of the guys) but Monty continued to flirt with her she wasn’t stopping him either, She feels bad & tells Monty to stop flirting & trying to get with her... He doesn’t she starts to get fed up and on a class trip they argue over it.. the argument however ends much differently (smut)
A/N: This story contains SMUT. DNI if under 18. 18+ only. This is a long one you guys. Definitely bring a snack and a cup of tea to read it. I’m sorry if the spacing is weird. I can’t to hear what you have to say about it! Feedback is appreciated and much love as always. - Em
Friends Don’t 
I met Monty in the park. Things had been different between us recently. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He turned in my direction. I sat on a picnic table and watched him for a few minutes. He seemed like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how.
“What’s going on in that hot head of yours?”
“I don’t know. I don’t… I don’t want to mess everything up.”
“Well how will you know if you do, if you don’t take the chance?” I had a feeling I knew what was coming.
“I don’t know if I’m ready for this Reagan.” Even though I had a feeling, it still felt like a punch in the gut to hear him say it.
“For what?”
“Things to get serious.”
“Who said anything about serious? We are sixteen.”
“I don’t know. Do you want to pretend that I’m ready to date someone? That doesn’t seem very fair to you.”
I shrugged. He has a point. He’s not exactly in a great place right now. “I guess not.” Even though I didn’t want to, I felt tears starting to well up and the familiar prickle in my nose. I blinked a few times because I knew he was right. It just sucked to hear.
“I don’t want to not have you around though.”
“I know. I don’t want to not have you around either. You know me better than anyone. Best friends?”
“Best friends.”
“And if you ever need anything, I’m there. No matter what.”
“Day or night.”
“Always.”
ONE YEAR LATER
Monty and I stayed close. We kept our promise to be best friends. After all, we knew each other better than anyone. We hung out after school and got coffee. He came over and we watched movies. It was almost like we didn’t break up. Almost. For a while after our breakup things were awkward. We hadn’t really figured out where our boundaries were. After some time, we got comfortable again. Some people would say we were a little too close. It didn’t really matter that much to us if we still flirted or finished each other’s sentences.
It didn’t matter, at least until I started spending time with a certain other jock. Zach Dempsey had caught my eye before senior year but there was something about him that was different that September. He was still kind of cruel, but he was trying. He meant well. He just didn’t always know how to go about things in the best way. I knew what being forced to spend extended time with Bryce walker could do to a person. Zach and I had a few classes together over the years. Our friendship started like a lot of friendships did in school. You got stuck sitting next to someone and so you had to decide if you wanted to ignore them for the rest of the semester, or if you wanted to make your semester not suck and play nice.
We decided on the latter that first day of world history. He was late to class and the only empty seat was next to mine. I had spent time around him when Montgomery and I were dating so we were able to at least talk to each other. Our interactions consisted mostly of homework and school stuff for about a month or so. Then, slowly, we started talking about our interests and other things on our way to lunch. On one such walk to lunch, he told me about his dream of becoming a marine biologist.
“Seriously?” I asked him.
“Yeah. It’s cool. Why?”
“I don’t know. I just guess I pegged you as a guy who would want to do the athlete thing and get a business degree in case you didn’t get drafted.”
“Nah. That… that isn’t really in the cards for me.” I nodded.
“I want to go into social work.”
“No way, really?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t elaborate on why I wanted to. That was not my story to share.
“Zachy!” Scott called across the room when we got to the cafeteria.
“I- I should probably get going.” He stammered.
“Yeah. My friends are waiting.” I waved over at Jess and Alex. Zach started to walk away but turned around again.
“Did you want to get a coffee or see a movie sometime?”
“Like, together?”
“I mean, yeah.” He shrugged, trying to play it cool.
“I think I’d like that. Oh, and can you tell Montgomery and Bryce Cheerios is not lunch?” I laughed.
“But they are.”
“I guess we can discuss it over coffee.” I smiled.
“Wednesday after school?”
“Sure.”
I sat at a table with my friends. “So. I’m going on a date.” Jess and Alex looked at me with wide eyes.
“Shit. No way.” Jess smiled.
“Yeah. Zach Dempsey.” I explained, answering their unspoken question.
“Zach is nice.” Alex added.
“And he’s like… really good looking.”
“I know, right?”
“Tall.”
“Very tall.”
“Doesn’t have an anger problem.” Jess muttered under her breath. My smile faltered. I looked up and Monty’s eyes were on me. My phone vibrated. Cheerios is lunch pretty girl. I rolled my eyes. Zach said he has a date. Wouldn’t happen to be a certain girl in his world history class, would it?
I’ll give you details after. And why do you care?
On Wednesday I got a ride with Justin and Clay to school. My car was in the shop for maintenance and my house was on the way from theirs. After school, Zach drove me to Monet’s. I got to ride shotgun in the Audi. The wind feels different. Maybe it’s because this car costs more than my education will. He was a safe driver, I noticed. Soon, we had parked outside the cozy little café. We didn’t hold hands on the way inside.
Inside, I ordered a hot chocolate, and he got a cup of tea. “You like pomegranate?” I asked when we sat down.
“Yeah. It’s tart.”
“It’s pretty good. One of my favourite tea flavours.” We made small talk for a while. I wasn’t sure when the last time he had been on a date was. I hadn’t been on a real date since Monty and I broke up last year.
“Your opinion on Cheerios is wrong.”
“Wrong?”
“Yeah. It’s lunch food. Or breakfast food. Hell, even dinner food.” I shook my head.
“I will never understand boys.” He laughed and picked up his spoon. “What are you doing?”
“Just watch.” He breathed on the spoon and tried to balance it on his nose. I giggled and it stuck for maybe three seconds before falling to the table. I burst out laughing.
“Can I try?” I picked up my own spoon.
“Go for it.”
“Okay, okay how do I do this?”
Zach reached over and took the spoon, holding it in front of my mouth. “Breath on it.” I did. “Now before it dries, take it, and place it on the end of your nose.” I did as he said. It fell instantly.
“Try again?” He waved. I tried again and it fell, yet again. “One more. I think I know the spot now.”
“Go on.” This time, I was able to get it to balance for four seconds. “Does this make me champion?”
“Sure. Until we have rematch.”
“A rematch you say?”
“Yes.”
“I look forward to it. Mostly so I can win again.” I smirked slightly. We spent the next couple of hours just talking to each other about stuff. Mrs. Dempsey called him home around five.
“Yeah Mom. I’m just out with the guys going over some plays. I’ll be home soon.”
“I take it I’m getting my refill to go?”
“Yeah. It seems that way. I’ll drive you home.”
We went on like that for the next few weeks. We would meet for coffee or meet up to see a movie. Go for walks in the park or by the docks. It was nice. Different than what Montgomery and I had, but it was a welcome change. We went public at school before we decided to tell our parents. My parents weren’t exactly ecstatic about me dating in my senior year and I knew how his mom felt about girls in his life. I was still talking to Monty. All the while, we had kept up the flirty banter we had started a few weeks after our breakup. Zach didn’t seem to mind much. “Good morning Beautiful.” He said as he walked over to my locker that morning.
“Hey 85.” I smiled brightly at him.
“You look very cute.”
“Why thank you kind gentleman.” I grabbed my bag off the floor and shoved my geometry book in it. Zach threw his arm around my shoulders as he walked me to class. I rested my head against him and we chatted about our night.
“So, you guys are public now.” Monty said, walking up to us with Charlie in tow.
“That’s really cute.” Charlie said.
“Yes.” I smiled. I felt Monty’s eyes traveling my body and I couldn’t help the blush that crept up my neck.
“Yeah.” Zach said.
“That’s great.” Monty replied. When we walked away, he called out, “I’ll see you around Reagan.”
I turned and called back to him, “yes you will.”
In the following few days, Monty kept up with the flirting. I didn’t stop it. I found it kind of amusing. “Going to harp on my lunch choices again Rea?”
“No. You’re an adult. I trust you to make proper choices.”
“Now, Reagan. You should know I’ve never been good with proper.” I rolled my eyes. Oh, I know.
“Seems to have done you pretty well so far. How’s… uh… collarbone tattoo?”
“Katie?”
“Sure.” He merely shrugged.
“How’s Zachy?”
“Zach is good.” Zach said, sitting down at the table. I swatted Monty’s hand away when he reached for a cookie.
“And you should know by now to not touch my food Montgomery.”
“Oh. She full named you. What’s it like to be called out by your ex like that, man?” Bryce asked.
“You don’t get a cookie either Bryce.”
“Reagan.” He held his hand up to his chest. “You wound me.”
“That’s sad for you.” I shrugged. Zach turned to me and shot me a megawatt smile.
“Do I get a cookie?” I thought for a moment.
“You can get half a cookie.”
“It’s half more than I had before.”
“I’m his best friend. Can I have the other half?” Justin asked when he sat down.
“No. My cookies.”
“I’ll trade you my Milky Way for that half.”
“No.” I laughed. “You’re sure you’re okay to come to my place later?” I asked Zach.
“Yeah. It’s just your parents. Parents like me.”
“Did he just say ‘just your parents’?” Monty looked at me with wide eyes. I shrugged. “Reagan.”
“Monty.”
“Your dad threatened to shoot me.”
“My parents never really liked you though.”
“Gee, I wonder what gave you that impression?”
“What would have?” Charlie asked.
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe when her dad threatened to shoot me.”
“Parents don’t like you. They’ll love me.” Zach beamed.
“They don’t like you because you ruined their daughter.” Bryce laughed. Again, I shrugged. Can’t really argue with him there. Monty merely smirked, proudly. Ugh men.
“Anyway. You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. And can you remind me again why we sit here?”
“You get to see me.” Monty chuckled.
“No. No I don’t think that’s why.”
“Hurtful.”
**
In the few months after Zach and I started dating, his mom had come around to the idea of me being in his life. I spent time at his house, mostly working on homework or helping May with hers. It was tense at first but she came around eventually. Once she realized I only wanted what was best for her son. My parents were getting more used to the idea of me dating again. They saw how we interacted and seemed to approve more than they did with Monty. I had a sneaking suspicion that it had something to do with the fact that I wasn’t emptying the first aid kit my mom kept stocked every month or so.
Monty and I were still close. He had recently started seeing a girl named Kyla. I wasn’t sure how serious it was but figured it could be good for him. It didn’t stop him from flirting with me though.
“Good morning gorgeous.”
“Good morning Montgomery. Good night?” I laughed.
“Of course.”
“How was your date with Kyla?” I asked.
“It was good. She cooked for me.”
“That’s nice. Was it good?” Charlie asked, adjusting his bag on his shoulder.
“I mean, sure. Some kind of spinach something or other?”
“You hate spinach.” I said.
“Yes. And you hate tha-.” Monty started. I saw Zach walking towards us.
“Shhhh.” I cut him off. “Hey babe.”
“Hey beautiful.” Zach pulled me into a hug and placed a kiss on my head. “How was dinner at Alex’s last night?”
“It was good. His mom let me bring contraband in the house.”
“Contraband?” Bryce asked.
“He’s not allowed to have junk food.” Charlie explained.
“Something about healthy body healthy mind or something.”
“She’s not wrong Rea.” Zach said.
“I know but still. Let the kid have a candy bar once in a while. It won’t hurt him.”
“He prefers sour patch kids.”
“I know.” The bell rang and interrupted us. I sighed heavily and took Zach’s hand. He walked me to math and kissed me on the cheek as he left. I smiled brightly at his retreating form.
Monty texted me in math. As I was saying, you hate that you and Zach haven’t fucked yet. Have you even gotten to second base yet?
None of your god damn business.
I’ll take that as a no. Don’t worry. It’ll happen eventually. I could get Charlie to get Alex to talk to him. Or you could let me talk to him.
No!
What? You don’t want me to tell him all your dirty little secrets?
I swear to God, De la Cruz. I will wring your neck in your sleep.
You’d be doing my dad a favour. You’d at least get past the front door.
I’d wring his first. Now stop texting me and learn some shit.
Fine.
Zach sat with Alex, Jess, and I at lunch. Kyla was sitting with Monty. I got the impression that she didn’t really like me all that much. In order to avoid a catfight-as much as I think the boys would like to see it- I found it best not to sit with them when she was around. Plus, it gave me a bit of a break from all the sports talk I had to pretend to care about. I shared my granola with Jess. Alex ‘stole’ my gummy bears. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I had the other bag in history. Zach kept my little secret. I felt him watching me out of the corner of his eye. He was talking to Alex about some video game. Jess and I rolled our eyes. “Boys.” We said in unison.
That weekend, Zach and I went for a walk along the docks. It was a beautiful day outside. We walked hand in hand just talking. When we felt like taking a break, we sat down on a bench overlooking the water and watched the waves. He put his arm around me and pulled me into his side. He was whispering sweet nothings in my ear. “Part of me wishes it was cold out, so I could offer you my sweater.”
“Me too.” I smiled.
“You look adorable in them.”
I giggled and hid my face in his shoulder. “I do not.”
“You do though.”
“Okay.” I blushed. He grinned at me as I peeked up at him.
We spent another hour walking and enjoying our time together. When it started to get dark, Zach walked me back to his car. He held the door open for me and kissed me before closing it. He is so sweet. The radio was playing softly. We sat in content silence for most of the drive. The purr of the engine lulled me into a peaceful sleep. “Reagan.” He whispered. I didn’t want to wake up. “Reagan. Baby, wake up for a second please.”
“Hmm?” My eyes stayed closed
“I just wanted to know if you want anything from Starbucks.”
“Sleeping.”
“You can stay in the car and sleep if you want.”
“Kay.”
“I’ll get you something.” He whispered and kissed my temple before getting out and locking the car. When I woke up, there was a cup of tea in the cup holder for me. So thoughtful.
**
I was in the middle of getting ready for a date with Zach when someone rang my doorbell. Running to answer it, my eyes widened when I saw Monty. His cheek was already starting to bruise and his knuckles were bloody. “Hey.”
“Uh. Hey there friend.” Blood was dripping onto my porch. “Just a sec.” I held up a finger and ran to grab a towel. He wrapped it around his hand before stepping inside. Thankfully there won’t be blood on the floor now. He stood in the entryway. “How’s the other guy?” I asked as I pulled out my phone to text Zach. Monty didn’t answer.
I’m so sorry. I have to cancel tonight. I think I’m coming down with a cold. I want to try to nip it in the bud and sleep it off.  
That’s okay. Do you want me to come over? I can bring you soup.
No, thanks though Zach. I’m just going to go get ready for bed and sleep so I can be better by Monday.
Okay. I’m just a text or call away if you need anything. <3
Thank you. <3
Now that my plans with Zach were taken care of, I was able to focus on the boy at my front door. “You know you don’t have to just stand there. You’ve been here before since we broke up.”
“I know. I just wanted to give you some space while you dealt with whatever plans you and Zach had.” He walked into the house further before adding, “which you didn’t have to do.”
“It’s not a big deal. I told you I would be here for you, whatever you need. Do you want some ice for your hand?” I dug around in the freezer for the tray. He tried to protest but I saw the thinly veiled wince when he flexed it. Sighing, I pulled out the freezer bags and filled one with ice. Monty accepted it begrudgingly.
“I didn’t need ice Reagan.”
“And I don’t need five million dollars Montgomery. If you don’t want it though, I’ll gladly take it back. I’m sure Kerba would love to hear about whatever bullshit reason you give for your hand being fucked again is.” He shut up and kept the ice.
“Think he would believe me if I said it was an exercise accident?”
“No.” I stated, shaking my head. Monty moved into the living room, settling in on the couch. Grabbing the remote with his good hand, he started scrolling through channels.
“You know if you hit the guide button, you can just pick a channel.”
“Yeah, but then you don’t complain about it and I can’t irritate you.”
“And I wasn’t done.” He didn’t respond, so I went into the closet for my mom’s first aid kit. She kept it stocked at all times. It was hard explaining why it was so depleted so frequently when Monty and I were together and even harder to explain why it was full after we broke up.
Walking over to the couch, I sat down and opened the kit. I grabbed some gauze and took his hand in mine. There was too much blood, so I had to go get a cloth. His lip curled when the wet cloth touched his cut knuckles. My brow rose but I didn’t say anything. Monty grimaced as I wrapped his hand. “Is your cheek okay?”
“It’s fine.”
“Okay. Have you eaten?”
“Yeah. You don’t need to feed me too Reagan.”
“Okay.” I let him continue flipping channels, knowing when to not push him. He never was very nice when I was patching him up. He finally settled on some old black and white film. Neither of us watched it. We just spent the night sitting in silence. It gave me plenty of time to think about the fact that I had lied straight through my teeth to my very nice, charming boyfriend.
A couple of weeks after I had patched Monty up, I noticed he wasn’t at school. I was walking to my locker with Alex that morning. Scott was talking to Charlie about something when we passed. “I don’t know where he is, man.”
“But we have a huge government midterm today.”
“It’s Monty. He probably just overslept or decided to cut first period.” I stopped walking unconsciously. Then where is he?
“You’re probably right.” Charlie said, as he adjusted his bag. He bumped into me when he passed. “Sorry Reagan. Guess I didn’t see you there.”
“Huh? No worries Charlie.” I smiled as he took Alex’s hand and nodded to them when they left me in the hall.
“He isn’t at school yet.” Scott said, behind me.
“Okay. I don’t know why you think I care but whatever.”
Scott looked at me seriously. “You care. Might want to look like you care less though. His replacement is coming this way.” I didn’t respond.
By lunch, I had started to worry. Charlie was right. We had a government midterm today. Monty couldn’t miss it. I scanned the cafeteria. There was no sign of him anywhere. He wasn’t in math this morning either. I couldn’t stop myself from texting him. I know you aren’t this self-destructive. Get your ass to school.
“Hey baby. Who’re you texting?”
“Just Bryce. I loaned him some of my government notes in first so he could cram. I just need them back.” Zach took my hand and we walked to the jocks table. Still no sign of Monty. I didn’t sit down. “Hey Bryce, did you get my text?”
“Uh. No?”
“About my government notes that you borrowed?”
“What-?” I gave him a look. “Oh. Yeah, I put them in my locker. Meant to bring them to lunch but it slipped my mind.”
“Can we go get them? I wanted to read over them during lunch.”
“Sure?”
“Great.” I nodded towards the door. He stood and followed me out.
“So, what the hell was that?”
“Did Monty stay at your place last night?”
“No. It’s probably nothing. You know how he is. Disappears sometimes.” We stopped walking and stepped into an empty hall.
“Yeah. It’s just that he knows this is important. I worry is all. Unlike you, he actually needs to get a scholarship.”
“I need to too Reagan.”
“You don’t. But go ahead and think that if it helps you sleep.” I shook my head and pulled my history notes out of my bag. “We’ve been gone a while. Don’t want anyone getting suspicious.” I texted Monty again while we walked in silence back to the cafeteria. If you aren’t in government I will drive to your house and kick your unfairly shapely ass. You better have a damn good excuse for not being here.
When I got to government for fifth period, I sighed in relief. Monty was sitting in his seat next to mine. “Nice of you to finally show up.” I grumbled as I sat down.
“I was busy.”
“It’s a Wednesday during school. During midterm week no less. What was so important?”
“Kyla got a new piercing a few weeks ago.” He smirked.
“You’re disgusting.”
“What? Have you and Zach still not?” My silence spoke volumes. He snorted. “No wonder you’ve been so bitchy lately. Want me to talk to him? Explain that you have needs?”
“No. I want you to not skip school to fuck your,” I paused, “Kyla. Because you aren’t a dumbass.” Even though I was pissed at him, I still waited for him until he had finished his test. We stopped at his locker so he could drop off his books.
Zach was waiting for me at my locker. We had rescheduled our movie date to today under the guise of making sure my cold was for sure gone and until midterms were complete. “Hey Zachy.” I hugged him and kissed his chest.
“Hey beautiful. How was your midterm?”
“Not bad. I think I did okay.”
“That’s good. How was it actually Monty?”
“Could have been worse. No one cried, which kind of sucks.”
“Good to know.” I put my stuff in my locker, failing miserably at the organization I had at the beginning of the year.
“I’ll see you tomorrow Monty. At eight. When you’re supposed to be at school.”
“Okay. We can go with that. You kids have fun now.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes. A blush had started to creep up my neck though. Maybe tonight.
When we got to my place, I left Zach downstairs to go change. I threw on underwear that matched my bra. Just in case. I settled on a pair of yoga pants that framed my ass well and threw on a low-cut comfortable tank top. Back downstairs, Zach was taking a bag of popcorn out of the microwave. I felt his eyes go straight to my butt as he heard me come down. I smirked slightly. I hugged him tightly from behind at the counter. “You’re cute.”
“So are you.”
“I’m not cute.”
“You are. My giant teddy bear you. Oh, and there’s a box of Mike & Ike’s in the pantry for you.”
“Thanks.” He grinned.
We scrolled through Netflix for a few minutes. Nothing looked really interesting until we scrolled past Beautiful Creatures. It’s good to make out to. And I like it. Settling in for the night, I rest my head on his lap. I sighed happily as Zach stroked my hair. It was so nice to just have a quiet night in with him. He adjusted his position slightly a while into the movie and I sat up to change positions as well. Falling asleep was not in the plans for this evening. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer against his chest. Leaning back, I rested my head on his shoulder. I placed a few soft kisses on his neck and jaw.
Zach’s breathing picked up when my lips ghosted over a spot just under his chin. There it is. I smiled against it and kissed it again. He sighed and I pulled away to look at him. His pupils were slightly dilated. I leaned in to kiss him. He leaned in and our lips touched. It was soft and gentle at first, but quickly became deeper and more intense. This wasn’t the first time we made out at all. But this time felt different. More meaningful. Maybe it was the right choice to change my underwear. His tongue ran along my bottom lip, requesting entrance. I was more than happy to accommodate it. His hand made its way around to rest against the back of my neck. My body shifted into a kneeling position on the soft couch, so I had a better angle. One of my hands rested on his chest. The other wound its way around the back of his neck to play with the soft hairs at the top of it. So soft.
Our tongues playfully fought for dominance. Neither of us seemed too keen on winning. We were just enjoying the moment. The movie was still playing in the background, though neither of us cared. My hand traveled down his muscular body as our making out intensified. I played with the hem of his shirt. I wasn’t wanting to take it off. But I also wasn’t not wanting to take it off. My boyfriend has a very nice body. Zach took control and began leaning forward. He continued until my back hit the cushions. After some readjusting, I was laying comfortably with Zach’s large frame above me. I smirked slightly when I felt his pants beginning to tent. He only pulled away long enough to sit up and pull his shirt over his head. Ugh that is the hottest thing any man can do. The blue shirt dropped to the living room floor unceremoniously.
He kissed me once more before moving on to my neck. The initial kisses were light and teasing. He was still trying to draw a map of where all the sensitive spots were. I gasped when he brushed over my pulse point. Zach smiled softly against it. The kisses turned much less light and teasing after that. It was both sides under attack now. It felt so good. I couldn’t stop the quiet whimpers from escaping. I moaned his name and ran my fingers through his hair. Why do men get the super soft hair? God. This feels amazing. “I love you.” He breathed into my neck. My breath caught in my throat. What? It wasn’t like I had never thought I loved him. I did. I was just surprised that he said it first. When I didn’t say it back immediately, his kissing faltered. I didn’t mean to hesitate.
“I love you too.” I smiled, even though he couldn’t see it.
We continued making out for a while until it got too close to my parents getting home. It was a long weekend, so they didn’t care much if he was over late. We were both adults. On weekends, they trusted us to be alone later. Even if alone meant ‘my parents are in their room upstairs or down the hall so shhh’. On school nights, Zach was gone by ten thirty. Even though they trusted us, none of us needed to experience them walking into the house to see their daughter and her boyfriend getting hot and heavy on their couch. Instead, we cozied up on the couch under a blanket and watched a couple more movies. “It’s getting late Reagan. I should head home. Mom will probably send Deputy Standall to come get me soon.”
“Okay.” Zach and I walked to the door and hugged goodbye. I stood on my tip toes and kissed him gently. “I love you.” I whispered.
“I love you too.” He whispered back.
The next morning, I woke up with tiny purple marks on the sides of my neck. He doesn’t usually leave marks. I like it. I wore my hair down so my parents didn’t see them. I may be an adult, but they still preferred I didn’t go around sporting hickeys all the time. Probably part of why they hated Monty so much. My mom felt it was anti-feminist. It was letting a man mark their territory and property. I usually challenged that with her wedding set. Dad just preferred not to think of me as being in a physical relationship. He was aware of it of course. Just preferred not to acknowledge it. Which, I mean, fair.
At school, I couldn’t leave my hair down. It was too hot. I threw it in a high ponytail in history. Zach breathed in sharply when he saw my neck. I turned and smiled at him. “Thank you.” His eyes widened and he coughed to cover a groan. During lunch, I could feel the boys staring at me as they arrived at the table.
“Damn Zach. Didn’t think you had it in you.” Bryce sniggered. I rolled my eyes.
“I did. You finally corrupted him, Reagan?” Justin wiggled his brows at us. I blushed and hid my face in Zach’s chest. I was never this shy about marks with Monty. Maybe that was because no one made comments like that when he did it. Because it was expected. And they knew he would rip their tongues out. I expected Monty to comment. He surprised me when he only quirked a brow. I was less surprised when he pulled me aside before history.
“Don’t let your parents see those. You seem quite attached to him. Wouldn’t want your dad to actually kill him. Maybe you should leave your hair down for a while. Wouldn’t want anyone getting any ideas, would you?”
I was stunned at the unnecessary hostility in his tone. Why the fuck does he care? He didn’t say anything else. I turned as he walked away, leaving me alone in the hall. I still put my hair down though.
Zach and I continued to explore the more physical aspect of our relationship in the coming weeks. Nothing too serious, just some semi-clothed touching. Maybe the rare under clothes touches. Only enough to tease. Never enough to lead anywhere. I was both grateful and frustrated by it. He didn’t leave anymore marks on me either. He could tell I was uncomfortable with his friend’s comments and wanted to avoid it as much as possible. We had agreed to wait until we were both ready. Neither of us were virgins. But it was still new. It did leave me with plenty of time to wonder what it would be like though.
When I wasn’t thinking about all the dirty things Zach and I could get up to, or Zach in general, or Monty, I occupied my time with college applications. My top choice had been UNC Chapel Hill for many years. Even before I knew what I wanted to study. I worked hard in school because of it. There were other schools I would like to go to, but none compared to UNC in my mind. I remembered when Monty and I had talked about what we wanted to do after high school, and he looked amazed but slightly skeptical at my goal. I knew he didn’t mean anything bad by it. We both knew how big of a goal I was. Zach had a different look on his face. He looked at me with complete faith that it would happen. It wasn’t even a question to him. He didn’t verbalize the thought, but I could see it in his eyes. I just hoped he was right.
Admissions emails were due to go out any day now. I both couldn’t wait and absolutely dreaded it. I had applied to seven schools. Statistically speaking, I had to get into at least one of them. I just wasn’t sure which one. Zach tried his best to reassure me that everything would work out. Our friends agreed with him. Monty also tried to reassure me. And keep my mind off of it with his incessant flirting. It was nice. I had a constant I could focus on. Monty flirting with me, as strange as it sounded, was keeping me calm. Zach tried his best to keep my mind occupied. We talked about anything but schools unless we needed to. It was sweet.  I just wasn’t sure it was helping much.
The pring of an email notification on my phone pulled my attention away from the textbook I was reading. I quickly grabbed my laptop and logged on. Pulling up Gmail, I held my breath. It could be any email. An email titled University of North Carolina Chapel Hill Office of Registrar Admissions Decision sat at the top of my inbox in bold letters. This is it. Holy crap. I was shaking so hard I opened the wrong email first.
Back on my inbox page, I took a very deep breath and opened the email. Dear Miss Reagan Taylor, thank you for your application to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. We regret to inform you that you have not been accepted for admission at this time. I couldn’t read any further. There was more information, I just couldn’t bring myself to read any of it. My eyes had begun to fill with tears. I didn’t get in. I worked so hard. And I still didn’t get in. Numbly, I moved the computer off my lap and grabbed my phone. Unconsciously, I selected a contact and put it to my ear as I felt myself beginning to dissociate.
“Hello?”
“Hi. A-are you busy right now?”
“I don’t have to be. What’s wrong?”
“C-can you come here? Please?”
“I’ll be right there.”
I numbly walked out of my room and went to unlock the front door. In my room, I sat in the center of my bed and hugged my knees. Willing the tears to remain at bay, I screwed my eyes shut. That didn’t do much to help, because all I saw was a string of the words not been accepted running over and over again.
A knock on my bedroom door caused me to look up. I wasn’t aware of how much time had passed. He was standing in my doorway with his hands tucked in his pockets. “I didn’t get in.” I said softly. My voice cracked. His long stride had him at my bedside and sitting down within only a few steps. He pulled me close to him and I cried into his shoulder. He laid us back and he held me as I cried. I felt so vulnerable as we laid there silently.
It must have been at least an hour before we moved. It had started getting dark outside. “Thank you, Monty.”
“You needed me.”
“I know. I just,” I paused, “thank you.”
“I’ll see you at school tomorrow?”
“Yeah.” I walked him to the door and went to take a shower. When I got out, I saw that Zach had texted me. I love you and I hope you’re having a good day. I sighed to myself. I couldn’t bring myself to find the energy to text him back. Instead, I crawled into bed and fell into a fitful sleep.
The next day, I threw on a pair of sweatpants and one of Zach’s t-shirts. I was too upset about the email to really care about looking nice. I met Zach at his car in the parking lot. He had a cup of hot chocolate for me and had his adorable happy grin plastered across his face. “Morning beautiful.” I took the to go cup gratefully.
“Morning.” He put his arm around me as we walked, and I leaned against his large frame.
“How was your night?”
“It was okay. Yours?”
“It was alright. Anything exciting happen?” Exciting is not the word I would use.
“Uh, no. Not really.” We had reached my locker. I opened it and dug around for my stuff.
“Hey, Reagan.” Luke called from across the hall. I lifted my arm and waved at him without turning around.
“What’s up Luke?” I asked when he was at my locker. Some of the football team was with him, including Monty.
“You know, it goes. I heard back from UNC yesterday. Did you?”
“Uh.” I cleared my throat and tried to will away more tears. I didn’t miss the sharp intake of breath Monty made. “I uh… Yeah. I didn’t get in.” I muttered. There was confused murmuring all around me. The only one who didn’t say anything was Monty. I didn’t have to look up to see that Zach was glaring daggers at him.
“How did they not accept you?” Charlie asked.
“I don’t know Char. It was a long shot anyway. Their acceptance rate is twenty three percent total. It’s even less for out of state applicants. Applicants who aren’t being given sports scholarships anyway. No offence Luke.”
“None taken. I’m sorry Reagan.”
“It’s okay. I applied to other schools.” I cleared my throat again. “I have to get to class.
“I’ll walk you.” Zach said. I nodded and took his hand in mine.
We stopped on the way when he pulled me aside into an empty classroom. “You didn’t mention that you heard back from UNC.”
“I know. I just… I needed some time to process. Can we talk about this later? I have a reading due at the beginning of class.”
“Sure. I’ll see you at lunch?”
“Of course.” I kissed him on the cheek. I sat through my classes in an almost daze. Monty sent me a couple of texts that made me smile. Zach also sent a couple of goofy pictures to try and cheer me up. My smile didn’t quite meet my eyes as much. I attributed it to being upset about the admission decision.
I met Zach at the doors to the cafeteria and he hugged me. I smiled sadly into his chest. I picked at my lunch silently. I could feel Monty and Zach’s eyes on me. They were watching both me and each other. No one else picked up on the tension. “Did you want to come over after school Zach? My parents are at work.”
“That works. I’ll let my mom know we are studying after school.”
“Studying each other?” Justin smirked. I rolled my eyes. Zach threw a piece of cheese at him.
“Fuck off.”
“Why do you throw food at each other?”
“It’s fun.” They shrugged.
“Alright then. I have a free period so I’m going to finish a project. I’ll see you guys later.” I leaned over and kissed Zach.
A few minutes after I sat down and pulled up my assignment, someone sat next to me. “So. You didn’t tell Zach?”
“No Monty.” I didn’t look up from my computer.
“You didn’t tell him you called me either, did you?”
“No. But I’m sure it will come up tonight when we talk.”
“You’ll let me know if everything is okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. I have class so I’ll text you hot stuff.”
“You better.” I smirked.
Zach and I met each other at my place. My parents were at work and I think both of us knew this was going to become a fight, so I wasn’t surprised when he agreed to come over at lunch without a thought.. We danced around each other in silence. Neither of us knew how to react to the tension between us. With Montgomery it was easy. He would be in a mood or I would be upset about something, we would yell at each other for a while, and then… then it was fixed. I had never fought with Zach before.
“Why didn’t you tell me about UNC?”
“I told you. I needed time to process. To think. That was my top choice Zach. My plans literally changed overnight. That takes time to think through.”
“But I’m your boyfriend. I’m supposed to help you with that stuff. To be there for you.”
“I know. But I need to take time to process before I can deal, okay?”
“Right. Time to process. That’s why Monty knew?”
“How do you know he knew?”
“His reaction this morning. Plus, I heard him talking to Scott and Luke about it in class.”
“Are you mad I didn’t tell you, or are you mad I told Monty?”
“Both.”
“I don’t know why I told him okay?”
“No Reagan. Not okay.”
“I didn’t do it intentionally Zach. I just… dialed. I wasn’t even looking at my phone.”
“Is that supposed to make this better? That your instinct was to call your ex-boyfriend and not me?”
“No. I’m saying that I wasn’t even thinking clearly. All I knew was that in an instant my entire future was fading before my eyes.”
“So, you called Monty.”
“Yes Zach. I called him. I called him and he came. He dropped everything and he came to me.”
“What happened?”
“What do you mean?”
“What. Happened. Reagan?”
“Nothing. I just cried. And cried. And then he left. I was upset.”
“Why couldn’t you call me?”
“Oh my god, Zach. I wasn’t thinking. I can’t explain to you why I called him and not you. I just picked a contact without looking and it was his.”
“Do you still love him?” His question caught me off guard. Do I?
“No.” My voice sounded sure. My brain and heart didn’t believe me. Hopefully Zach would.
“You don’t. Why do you still flirt with him?”
“I don’t love him. As for the flirting, that’s just how we talk to each other. We’ve always done it.”
“Well, I don’t like it.”
“Noted.”  
Zach scoffed. “You flirt with your ex in front of me.”
“I don’t mean anything by it.”
“That doesn’t matter. Do you not think it’s weird that you’re still super close to your ex?”
“Not really, no. He is my friend. You can be friends with an ex, you know.”
“Most people can’t, actually.”
“So what? You’re mad that I’m friends with Monty?”
“I’m not mad Reagan. It’s just a lot to deal with.”
“Why?”
“Do you know how it feels to learn stuff about you, because your ex is talking about it? Or because you two are joking about something?”
“No. I guess I never really thought about it like that. It’s not that weird to us. But it does make sense.” I sat down on my couch. My adrenaline was leveling out again and I felt like an asshole.
“It doesn’t feel good.” He sat down next to me.
“I’m sorry Zach. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.”
“I know.”
“I’ll talk to Monty about it. Tell him we need to stop the flirting and stuff.” Zach took my hand gently.
“Okay.” I rested my head on his shoulder and he pulled me into his lap. I was shocked that a fight had been resolved that easily and cleanly.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Monty and I met at the docks to talk after Zach and I fought. “Hey.”
“Hey sweetheart.” I grimaced slightly.
“Zach and I talked.”
“Okay. How did it go?”
“He was pretty ticked off that you knew about UNC before he knew. And that you came over instead of him.”
“But I’m your friend.”
“And he is my boyfriend. Also, for the record, you aren’t just my friend Monty. You’re my ex.”
“So?”
“So, you aren’t just my friend.”
“Why does it matter?”
“Because. The way you talk to me, it’s like we never broke up. You’re the one who said you wanted to break up. That you weren’t ready for a serious relationship. Or any relationship for that matter.”
“Is it you, or Zach that has a problem with it?” My silence spoke volumes. “I see. Well, you go tell your boyfriend that we talked.”
“Monty. I do feel bad about it. It’s not fair to Zach to have to deal with you flirting with me and making moves all the time.”
“You know, if I believed that you felt bad, or that you were honestly asking me to stop, I would. But I know you. I know this isn’t coming from you.”
“Montgomery. You need to stop. I’m asking you to stop.”
“Fine. I’ll cool it.”
“Thank you. That’s all I ask. Still friends?”
“Of course, Rea.” He hugged me tightly. I felt like I would let tight hugs slide because I liked them. We walked to our cars together quietly. I didn’t want to have to go or have things change, but I knew that if I wanted to stay with Zach, they would have to.
Monty was true to his word for all of three days. We were still friendly. The flirting had stopped though. There was still a buzz in the air when we interacted. It was easier to ignore now. At least, I thought it had stopped. I was painting my finger and toenails in the bathroom on Saturday night. It was my weekly self-care night. My phone rang before I could decide on a face mask to do while my nails dried. I smiled but rolled my eyes a bit when I saw who was calling. “Hi Monty.” I tried to sound annoyed but couldn’t keep the smile out of my voice.
“Hey Reagan.” He slurred slightly. I could hear the sound of boys falling and goofing off in the background. Bryce is having a thing, I guess.
“What’s up Buddy?”
“Jus’ guys night.”
“You don’t say.”
“You sound relaxed.”
“And you sound mighty drunk. It’s Saturday.”
“Right. Right. Girly night.” He chuckled.
“Yes. Is there a reason you called?”
“Wanted to say hi.”
“Oh.” I thought we had talked about this.
“I miss you.” He slurred. Oh boy.
“Uh. Miss you too.” I grimaced. He was drunk so I wasn’t going to just pretend I hadn’t heard him. Montgomery wouldn’t remember this in the morning.
“I’m an idiot.”
“No, you aren’t.”
“I am. I let you go.”
“Monty….”
“I love you.” My eyes widened. No. I felt the corners of my eyes begin to fill with tears. Looking up, I blinked them away. I didn’t know what to say.
“I-.”
“I’m in love with you.”
“Monty.” I whispered. Why is this happening? We talked about this. At least he won’t remember this tomorrow. But I can’t just act like it didn’t happen.
“Buddy, get off the phone and come play.” Garrison called in the background.
“Gotta go.” Monty said before hanging up. What the actual fuck just happened?
I didn’t text Monty or Zach all day Sunday. I didn’t actually talk to or text anyone aside from my parents. I woke up on Monday dreading school. I just laid in bed and stared at my ceiling. I would see Zach and have to act like that phone call didn’t happen. And that Montgomery hadn’t said what he said. I would also see him. I don’t know if I can do that. He’s your friend. He was wasted when he called you. He won’t remember it. Taking a deep breath, I threw off the covers and got up. I stopped for a coffee on my way to school to try to calm my nerves, even though I was more of a tea person.
I walked into the school and as luck would have it, the first person I saw, was Montgomery freaking De la Cruz. Thank you, Universe. Instantly, I turned on my heel and walked out of the building before he could see me. Books weren’t important now. I had to avoid him. I power walked to the nearest exit and stopped by a large tree. Leaning against it, I took a deep breath and contemplated ditching school. That wasn’t going to be possible. Because the universe decided to say fuck Reagan today. Zach was walking towards me from the parking lot. He waved. I pretended I hadn’t seen it and ignored him. He stopped when he got to my tree. “Hey, are you okay?”
“Hey. Yeah. I’m okay.”
“You’re breathing kind of heavy. And leaning against a tree.”
“I’m fine Zach.”
“Okay.” He didn’t sound convinced. Before he could say anything more, I picked up my bag and brushed past him. I took the long way around to the back of the building to physics. I slumped in my seat and doodled through the whole class. I was doing well enough that the teacher wasn’t going to call on me.
I spent the next week avoiding Monty. I didn’t answer his texts. I took different routes to class. As far as I was concerned, he didn’t exist anymore. Except for the near constant string of text messages that I was getting from him. And his confession running over in my head any time I had a free moment to think. Why did he have to do that? I was getting on just fine. Zach and I were in a good place again. We agreed that we would just be friends. Fine. Fine. Fine.
I was also distant with Zach. I felt awful about it. You love him. He can say it to you sober. He loves you. If he saw me in the halls, he would come over and I would let him walk me to class. We would hold hands. My grip wasn’t as tight as usual. He would put his arm around me. I wouldn’t lean against him. I think he could tell something was off. Being Zach, he wouldn’t bring it up though. Since I was avoiding my two favourite jocks, I couldn’t exactly sit with Zach at lunch. I sat with Jess and Alex instead. Without Zach. They exchanged looks the first day but said nothing.
I went to the baseball game after school to support Zach. And to make it seem like nothing was wrong between him and I or Monty and I. I didn’t want people asking too many questions. Questions I didn’t want to answer. Monty’s drunken declaration had brought up feelings I had spent the better part of a year and a half, trying to bury. I was the one that wanted more from him. I was the one who needed more. When it was clear I wasn’t going to get more, I settled. And then when we broke up, I was comfortable in the fact that even though I loved him and I felt like he loved me, it would go unsaid and we could just be friends. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that was why we were so close and flirted with each other. While I wasn’t in love with him anymore, I still did love him. Even though I told Zach I wasn’t. Liar. You are still hopelessly in love with him. Maybe. But I can’t have him the way I want. And I love Zach. I just haven’t decided if I’m in love with him yet.
After the game, I waited to say bye to Zach and congratulate him on the win. “Congratulations 16. You won.” I smiled as he walked up to me. I was waiting at the bottom of the bleachers.
“Of course, we did. I had my biggest cheerleader in the stands.” He grinned. I couldn’t help but melt. Pushing away any and all thoughts of Montgomery’s phone call, I threw my arms around his neck and let him scoop me up into his arms as we kissed. My legs wrapped around his waist and his hands held my thighs.
“Get a room.” Bryce called out to us as he passed with some of the guys. The jocks cheered and whistled. I flipped them off and pulled away from the kiss.
“Two things. One, you don’t have girlfriends because you whistle at girls. We aren’t dogs. Two, fuck off.” I called back.
“I have a girlfriend.” Anders yelled.
“I know. She’s awesome. That’s two of twenty. Now shut up and leave us be assholes.”
“Yes Ma’am.”
Zach let out a loud laugh when they walked away. “That was amazing.”
“Yeah. It kind of was. Sadly, I have to go work on a project. Walk me to my car?” I said as I jumped out down.
“Lead the way.”
I was working on my project when Monty called me. I sent it straight to voicemail. He called again. I let it ring out. He called back. This man just doesn’t quit. Again, I let it ring. He called a fourth time. Jesus. I answered it on the second to last ring. “What?”
“Woah. Who pissed in your tea today?”
“You called me four times in a row. What do you want Montgomery?”
“Well, I was calling to see why you have been ignoring me. But now I’m going to ask why you’re being such a bitch?”
“I’m busy. And you called me four times in a row.”
“Busy with what?”
“A project.”
“Okay. I’ll keep this quick then. Since a project is apparently more important than your best friend.” I didn’t respond. “Why have you been avoiding me, Reagan?”
“I haven’t been avoiding you.”
“Bull. I haven’t seen or heard from you in almost a week. Are you mad at me or something?”
“No. I’ve been busy.”
“With Zach?”
“No. With stuff. I have a life outside of Zach Dempsey and you, you know.”
“Stuff. Okay. What stuff?”
“School stuff. Trying to figure out what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. Stuff.”
“Alright. I don’t believe you though. Did I do something wrong?” Yes. You did. Something very wrong. That you apparently can’t even remember. Meaning you didn’t have to just be drunk to say it. You had to be wasted.
“No. I’ve just been busy.” I sighed.
“We’re okay?”
“Yes Monty. We’re okay.”
“Okay good. Did you want to do lunch tomorrow?”
“Sure.”
“Great. Rosie’s at one?”
“I’ll be there.” I threw my phone on my bed when I hung up. This man is infuriating. Why can’t I say no to him?
To no one’s surprise, Monty didn’t stop flirting with me. He made comments about my outfits or little things that he knew about me. It had finally driven Kyla away. I feared that Zach would be the next person he drove away. I didn’t fall into his trap anymore and let him bait me into flirting with him again. He tried hard. But I didn’t want to go back on my word to Zach. I couldn’t control what Monty did. But I could control how I reacted. So, any time Monty flirted with me, I ignored it. I pushed down the little flutter in my stomach and blush that threatened to creep up my neck. Zach would roll his eyes and smirk if he was around to watch the spectacle that had become Monty and my interactions. We both figured he would grow tired of not getting a response and quit eventually. I have no idea why. Montgomery De la Cruz never was one to back down from a challenge.
As the school year started heading towards its close, the big senior trip was coming up. Every year, the school sent the senior class on a trip. It was supposed to be educational and technically was fair game on any exams except our government finals when we got back. But really, it was to let us blow off some steam and get us into a different environment, so we were less likely to do a Senior Skip Day or senior prank. The only teachers who tested on it were the hard asses. This year we would be going to DC to “learn about the government and how our nation’s democracy runs.”
The senior class was abuzz with excitement about our trip to DC. It was fully paid for by the school due to it being a mandatory trip, aside from the few thousand we needed to fundraise for. It wasn’t cheer camp so people were more willing to donate for a bake sale, over Dollar Valentines. Typically, everyone shared rooms at the hotel. This year however, there was an uneven number of girls in the class. Meaning that one lucky girl, would get a whole room to herself for the week. To make it a fair draw, every grade twelve girl’s name was put into a raffle. A random teacher from the neighbouring school then pulled a name from the bunch, to keep it impartial. An email would be sent out to every girl, letting her know if she was picked.
I held my phone tightly all day on draw day. It was a week out from the day we were leaving. We weren’t told when the email would go out. Only that we would know by tonight. I hope it’s me. At dinner, my phone pringed. I shot up like I had been bitten.
“Reagan. You know the rules. No phones at dinner.” My mom scolded.
“But Mom. It’s draw day for the single room. I need to go check. Please? Thirty seconds. Promise.”
“Okay. Go check.” She waved me off. I ran to the counter and grabbed my phone. Opening the email, I read it intently. Reagan Taylor- Single room. I screeched in excitement.
“I got the single room! I got the single!”
“That’s wonderful honey. Now come finish your broccoli.” I quickly texted Zach. I got it. :) He replied while I was finishing dinner. That’s great. :)
I texted Monty after dinner as well. I got the single room. He replied while I was getting ready for bed.
Excellent. What better place for you and Dempsey to screw each other silly? Can’t wait to hear all the details.
You are such a creep.
You like it.
The Friday before we left, Zach came over after school to help me pack. My parents were having date night, so it was just the two of us for the foreseeable future. Ever the gentleman, he helped me carry my suitcase up from the storage room. The rose gold hard case set was laid out on my floor. I put Zach in charge of folding my clothes, since he was the self-proclaimed “master packer”. He pouted slightly when I said he couldn’t fold my underwear. I managed to sneak in a few more sexy sets as well. We would be gone for a week. A lot can happen in six nights.
“Do you like this shirt?” I asked him.
“It’s nice.”
“I could wear it to the Capital.”
“Yeah. Or dinner.”
“There’s going to be dinner, hmmm?”
He walked towards me and took the shirt from my hands. “There might be. There also might be a lot more than dinner.” Zach wrapped his arms around me.
“Oh really?”
“Mhmm. If you want more than dinner.”
“I do have a single room.”
“That you do. Bring the shirt.”
“Okay.” I felt a blush creeping all the way up to my ears.
After some more packing, we took a break. A very nice break. We were laying on my bed. The suitcase was still open in the corner of my room. Zach shifted so he was resting his head in his hand on his elbow. I looked up at him and grinned. He grinned back. “Hi.”
“Hi.” He leaned down and kissed me softly. I kissed him back and wrapped my arms around his neck. Zach smiled into the kiss and moved to climb on top of me. He straddled my waist so that I was on my back again. The more he kissed me, the more I wanted this to go further.
My hands left his neck and went to pull on his shirt. I was trying to pull it off without breaking our kiss. When it was halfway up his torso, he pulled away from the kiss and pulled the cotton over his head. I smiled demurely at him. He began kissing me again and our tongues did their playful dance. I moaned softly when he kissed my neck. He didn’t suck hard enough to leave any marks. I sat up to take off my shirt when he pulled it up my stomach. He kissed me once again and I carded my fingers through his hair. My breathing started to get heavier as his Zach’s hands explored my body. My hips bucked lightly. He unzipped my jeans and I wiggled them off. They were pushed to the end of the bed along with our shirts. I struggled with his belt a little. I wasn’t used to it yet. It still felt foreign under my fingers. Finally, I had removed it. I unzipped his jeans and Zach kicked them off. He moved his kisses down my chest, brushing over the top of my bra. I sighed. My hands moved to his to the front of his torso and I ran my fingers up and down his chest. The skin was smooth, but I felt goosebumps form where I touched. We were still in our underwear. This feel so… nice. Nice is good. So why does it feel like I have no clue what I’m doing?
We made out passionately. Our exploration of each other’s bodies continued. There was light teasing and nipping at spots. It felt good. Zach unhooked my bra and I pulled it off. It landed at the end of the bed with our other clothes. I gasped when he grew bolder and sucked a pebbling nipple into his mouth. His tongue flicked it a few times and I moaned his name. He used his other hand to roll and tease my other nipple. My hips couldn’t be stopped from bucking. I wanted more. I reached for his boxers. I was only able to brush his V-line. He pulled away from me.
“Did you want something?” He asked cheekily.
“Mhmm.” I moaned and reached for him again. My eyes were trained on the bulge in his boxers. They widened as he pulled them off and his cock sprang out. Reaching out, I grasped it in my hand. It felt hot and heavy. He moaned softly when I began stroking.
To make things easier and more comfortable, he rolled over so he was on his back. I sat up some and watched his face. Zach’s eyes were closed, and his brow was furrowed. He looked relaxed. I leaned down and kissed him. His fingers tangled into my hair as he deepened the kiss. My strokes became more confident and picked up speed. The quiet moans and grunts he was emitting were very encouraging. Soon enough, his hips were bucking. He sat up to stop me. I looked at him with dark eyes. He smiled at me and sat up, pushing me down on the soft mattress. Zach was gazing at me with the most kind and loving expression I had ever seen. My heart swelled.
I couldn’t wait any longer and reached to pull down my underwear. Zach pulled them down my legs and threw them towards the end of my bed. I got comfortable as he reached out for me. His fingers quickly found my core, and then my clit. My breath hitched when he rubbed it. He was gentle. I silently thanked him for that. Gathering some lubrication, he spent a little while trying different gestures and patterns as he ran his fingers through my core. There was some back-and-forth movement, as well as some up and down. It felt good but it wasn’t quite it. He tried circles and I moaned his name loudly. “That’s it. Do that. Do more of that.” My hips twisted. He leaned down to kiss me again while he rubbed me. Zach continued to rub my clit softly in circular motions. I moaned lowly as a finger entered me. It was slow and calculated. He continued to stimulate me for a few minutes, varying the speed and intensity of both his rubbing and thrusting. My hips wiggled in an attempt to get more stimulation.
Deciding I was aroused enough, he pulled away and looked at me questioningly. “There is a new box of condoms in my sock drawer.” He nodded and stood to grab one. Once the condom was properly and securely in place, he climbed back on top of me. I felt dwarfed by his large frame. He rubbed my clit and fingered me a few more times, before I felt his cock brush against my folds. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for him to enter me. I was expecting something quick. Like ripping off the band aid. Instead, he slowly pushed his way into my body. I groaned and my head rolled to the side. His breath hitched when he bottomed out.
“Shit.” He cursed in my ear.
After a few beats, he began to slowly thrust. I tried to match his slow, sweet pace. It just felt so different. Nice. Good. But still different. Zach started kissing up and down my neck again. I smiled and eventually, was able to match his thrusts. They began speeding up slightly and he intertwined his fingers with mine. I squeezed his hands. I closed my eyes when he kissed me. It almost felt like there was something missing. While I was trying to focus on the sensations coursing through my body, I realized that we weren’t just having sex. We were making love. I froze slightly but covered it by tensing up a little. I could feel my orgasm approaching anyway. I could tell it would be different than normal. I was both excited and a little scared.
As though Zach could sense my thoughts, he kissed me deeply and murmured against my lips, “let go.” His thrusts picked up speed and my hips stilled. I felt the knot in my stomach start to tighten and I clutched his shoulders. I moaned loudly as I felt the knot snap. My orgasm was different than it had been in the past. It was good, but it was less intense. There was no convulsing or extreme contortion. He continued to thrust, pulling me through my orgasm. My muscles relaxed and I slumped for a second. I could tell Zach’s high was in his reach. I began whispering dirty nothings in his ear and telling him that I loved him to try to get him to finish. I kissed his neck and nibbled softly. His thrusting became sloppy and he groaned loudly as he peaked.
With a laboured grunt, Zach rolled off of me and pulled me close to him. I closed my eyes for a second. Then I remembered I had to go to the bathroom. I rolled over and sat up slowly. When I returned to bed, Zach had discarded the condom and put on his boxers. I pulled his shirt on, along with a clean pair of underwear. Curling up in his arms, I rested my eyes for a while. “I love you.” I whispered as I drifted off.
“I love you too.” We woke up an hour later and finished packing, sneaking coy glances at each other.
Tuesday morning started unfairly early. We had to be at the airport by eight for our flight at ten. My alarm went off at five thirty. I protested as I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Slowly, I made my way to the bathroom to shower. I didn’t need to look super cute, but I at least wanted to smell good. It was a five-hour flight. I double checked that I had everything packed while my hair towel dried. My dad knocked on my door and I grunted at him. The shower had done little to wake me up. “Morning Kiddo. I’m just going to take your suitcase downstairs.”
“K.” I muttered.
Downstairs after I got dressed, I poured myself a very large cup of coffee. I didn’t really like sleeping on planes. Plus, I could get a tea after we got through security. My mom had offered to drive Zach and I to the airport, so I called him to make sure he was up. “Good morning Baby.”
“Good morning babe.” He sighed on the other end of the line.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Jut tired.”
“Me too. Mom just wanted to make sure you were up.”
“I am. Stuff is by the door and everything.”
“Oh good. See you in half an hour?”
“Okay. See you then. I love you.”
“I love you too.” I hung up and texted Monty to make sure he was up. Get up loser, we’re going to DC.
I’m up. And it’s too early for bending Mean Girls quotes.
It’s never too early. He replied with an eye roll emoji. I shook my head and didn’t answer.
“Reagan, are you ready to go?” My mom asked.
“Yeah.” I grabbed my backpack and rolled my suitcase out to the car. Dad lifted it into the back and checked that mom and I were securely buckled. Have to make sure my girls are safe. He had said when I asked him about doing that when I was younger. I still didn’t let him see the way I smiled about it.
Zach was waiting on his front steps for us. It was still early and May was still asleep. He waved and mom opened the back hatch for him. I looked in the rear view mirror and smirked at the way his muscles bulged when he lifted his suitcase into the car. He kissed me when he got in and greeted my mom. “Thanks for the ride Mrs. Taylor.”
“Of course, Zach.” She smiled at him from the driver’s seat. Once we got onto the highway, traffic was fairly light. It was still pretty early so we beat most of the commuters. It grew heavier as we got closer to the airport. None of us were surprised. Especially given that an entire high school senior class was descending upon it.
Mom parked in the drop off zone for the airline. Zach got out and walked around the car to open my door. He hugged me tightly as I stepped out. I breathed in the fresh scent of his cologne. “Hi.”
“Hi.” I looked up at him and grinned. Throwing on my backpack, I grabbed Zach’s while he got our suitcases. Inside, we met up with our friends. Clay was basically dragging Justin through the airport. Alex and Charlie both looked very awake for seven forty-five in the morning. Must be nice. I nodded at Monty and Scott from across the room. They were talking to Bryce and Luke.
Getting our tickets and going through security went shockingly well. Since we had so much time to kill, the teachers let us roam the gate freely. We had to swear left and right we would be on the plane. I abandoned Zach with Justin and Alex to go in search of a piping hot cup of tea. “Reagan.” Monty said as he approached me.
“Morning Monty. It’s tea time.”
“I need coffee. I’ll go with you.” We walked through the gate silently. I could feel his eyes on me. He was trying way too hard to seem like he wasn’t
staring at me.
“Can I help you?”
“There’s something different about you.”
“Oh? Like what?”
“You seem… less tense.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” He stopped for a minute. “Wait. Did you two finally?” I blushed. “You did. Was it good?”
“Yeah.” I replied. It wasn’t a lie. It was good.
“Yeah? Better than us?” I turned to him, perplexed.
“Is that trick question? How do you want me to answer that?”
“Is that a no?” He smirked.
“No. It’s not an answer. Because it’s none of your business.”
“Alright, don’t tell me.”
Tea and coffee in hand, we walked back to the gate to sit until our plane boarded. The minutes ticked by. Zach was watching YouTube videos on his phone. I peeked over my book at him. He looked up and smiled. I felt eyes on us and turned to Monty. He was smirking at Zach. I rolled my eyes, mouthed piss off to him, and went back to my book. The flight to DC was pretty boring. I was able to sit with Zach and we watched a movie for the first half of it. Afterwards, I listened to some music and read while he slept.
We spent the first night in DC relaxing after a long flight. I enjoyed having a single room. It was quiet and I didn’t have to argue with anyone about what bed I would get. Jess came to do a face mask and have some girl time. It was nice. “So, tell me. What’s new with you and Zach.”
“There’s not much to tell.” I fibbed. She saw right through me.
“Oh, come on Reagan. There is totally something to spill.”
“We finally had sex.”
“No way!”
“Yeah.”
“How was it?” I hesitated. “Girl talk.” She smiled at me and I knew none of what I said would get back to Zach.
“It was nice.”
“And?”
“Good.”
“Nice and good?”
“Yes.”
“That’s the best you can come up with?”
“I don’t know Jessica. It was nice.”
“But it’s supposed to be more than nice.”
“I know. And it wasn’t bad. It was just….”
“No. Don’t even think that. We cleansed. Remember?”
“Okay Ryan Shaver.” I laughed.
“Still.”
“I know. It was just different is all.”
“I get that.” She sighed wistfully. I tried to scrub the mental image of Jessica and Justin going at it like jack rabbits. Ew. No no. Bad.
We toured the Smithsonian on Wednesday and went to the Capital on Thursday to see Congress. I stuck close to Zach the whole time. Monty continued his flirting. It was as though he really had no idea what he had said to me last month on the phone. I did my best to ignore it. But it was starting to get on my nerves. I could tell Zach was growing frustrated as well. While it got on my nerves, I was having a harder and harder time ignoring the butterflies in my stomach when Montgomery tried to charm his way to me. He could tell. I just hoped Zach couldn’t. Our interactions had been tense since last month.
Tensions between me and Monty come to a head in DC. It was Friday night, three days into our weeklong trip. I was coming back from an evening coffee run with Zach and Justin. Monty was milling about with Bryce and Luke outside. I tried to ignore the pang in my chest when I saw them. Monty caught my eye and subtly nodded at me. No one in either of our groups noticed. I pulled out my phone and texted him. My room. 10 mins. He waited until we were inside the hotel to read my message. There was no response. I assumed he got the message and made to excuse myself to my room. “That was really great guys. I’m actually pretty tired and I still have to fill in my trip journal for the day. I think I’m going to head up to my room.”
“Okay, night Reagan.” Justin nodded. He seemed slightly suspicious. I chalked it up to him having his own experience with bullshit excuses.
“Do you want me to walk you up?” Zach asked.
“No, don’t worry. You hang out with Justin. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Alright. Text me when you get upstairs. I love you.”
“I love you too.” I kissed him softly.
Upstairs, I threw my backpack on the unoccupied bed and threw my hair up. Since I would be getting ready for bed soon anyway, I brushed my teeth and changed into my pyjamas while I waited for Montgomery. I was putting my toiletries back in my suitcase when he knocked on my door sharply. He was standing on the other side of the door, his hands once again buried in his pockets when I opened it. “You rang.”
“Hi.” I moved out of the doorway and let him in.
“What did you want to talk about Reagan?”
“No one saw you come up here, did they?”
“No. they didn’t. Is that what you’re worried about? Someone knowing that I’m in your room?”
“Of course not. Its just….”
“Zach. You can say his name. I’m a big boy.”
“I told Zach that he didn’t have to worry about you and I.” Monty scoffed, bitterly.
“Yeah. Nothing to worry about with us. Sure.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“If I was in his place, I would worry too.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean Montgomery?”
“Last month, you told me that we aren’t just friends. And you weren’t wrong. Because people who are just friends don’t look for each other in crowds. Or stop when other people are talking about them. The thing you forgot to mention is how unfair you were being to both of us.”
“I don’t do that.”
“Bullshit. I’ve seen it. And if I’ve seen it, so has Zach. He isn’t that oblivious.”
“Zach has a problem with our friendship.”
“Oh, so now you admit it. Least I got that out of you. Only took a month.”
“It makes him uncomfortable that we are so close. And I feel bad about it. I told you that already.”
“If you expect me to believe you care so much about how our friendship affects your boyfriend, then why did you call me about UNC as soon as you found out and not him? Why did you lie and cancel plans with him to spend time with me? Why is it that until a month ago, you flirted with just as much intensity as I did? Why did-.” I opened my mouth to stop him. “No. You don’t get to talk right now Reagan. It’s my turn to talk.” I closed my mouth and looked down. I was stunned and a little bit scared. He had never yelled at me like that before. “Why did you ask me to come get you when you got too drunk at a party on a college visit and not him? Even after you told me things had to change? Because I would love to hear you explain that.”
I was silent. I knew I couldn’t deny any of what he had said. We weren’t just friends. We didn’t know how to be friends. Or we never wanted to be. “Well?”
“I… you weren’t being fair to me either Monty. I’m not the only one at fault here. I wouldn’t have had to cancel on Zach if you hadn’t shown up to my house unannounced needing first aid. Again. You’re the one who started it with the flirting. As soon as you saw that I was moving on and could be happy with someone else, you fucking start flirting with me and talking to me like you had never stopped. Like you hadn’t broken my heart that day. And maybe I let it go on too long. Maybe I shouldn’t have reciprocated the flirting. But it made me feel good. And it was fun. Until it started having an impact on my actual relationship. With someone who is able to admit that he loves me. You want to stand here and talk to me about looking for someone in a crowd or stopping when people talk about them? What about when you drunk dialed me telling me that you love me? What about how anytime we are alone together you waste time leaving just so you don’t have to go? I’m not the only one at fault here. I asked you to stop flirting with me and you didn’t.”
“Is that phone call what did it?”
“I’m with someone who doesn’t have to be drunk to tell me that he loves me. And no. The call didn’t do anything. But it’s nice to know you remember it.”
“You want me to say it? I’m completely sober. You really want to hear me say it?”
“Yes.” I said loudly, exasperated.
“Easy. I love you.”
We were silent for a minute, finally aware of the tension in the air. I made the first move and kissed him. It was chaste at first. I was giving him a chance to take it back. When he didn’t pull away or stop it, I deepened the kiss. He wrapped his arms around me, picked me up, and placed me on the bed. His hands trailed down my body and played with the hem of my shirt. He sat on the bed beside me and pulled me on top of him. I straddled his waist and sat in his lap, slipping my hands under his t-shirt. When I traced his abs, he sucked in a breath. Everything with him felt so natural. So easy. I slipped my hands out from his shirt and pulled away from our kiss. He looked puzzled until I pulled off my shirt. I nodded at him and he pulled off his flannel. Next to go was his t-shirt. His pupils were blown. He was staring at me, not with hunger like I had expected, but in awe and admiration.
I kissed him again, but I quickly pulled away. I kissed down his neck, searching for the pulse point. We fell backwards in a mess of limbs and kisses on the plush hotel bed. His hands were on my hips instantly to steady me. I had found his pulse point and sucked at it harshly. There was sure to be a mark within the hour. I could feel him pulling at the waistband of my pyjama pants. “Yes.” I whispered in his ear. Monty pulled my bottoms down and off quickly. My underwear was still on and he snapped the waistband cheekily. “Bastard.” I said against his neck.
“You love it.” He moaned loudly when I bit his neck in response. I had to cover his mouth.
“Shhh. People could hear.”
“Screw people.”
With that, he flipped us over, so he was on top now. My hands went for his belt and I deftly undid it. My muscles still remembered the movements. The sound of the clinking metal as the hook hit the buckle. The way I had to tug a little harder to get it to come out of the loops because it stuck on the back one. Soon enough, his belt and jeans were strewn across the room along with the rest of our clothes. It was his turn to kiss me. He dragged his teeth against my bottom lip, pulling it slightly. I moaned lowly. His kisses traveled down my neck quickly. He always did prefer to leave marks on my collarbones and breasts. My neck was still fair game to him and he often left at least one mark on it at any given time. Just like he had so many times before so long ago, he left a clear bite mark on my décolleté. His attention was turned to my breasts then. He deftly unhooked my bra and pulled it off. It joined the ever-growing pile of clothes flung across the room.
The marks he left on my breasts were small in comparison to the one I had left on his neck. He is probably trying to hide them. I too, moaned loudly when he nipped my skin. He covered my mouth like I had done to him only moments before. The difference was that I grabbed his wrist in my hands like I was trying to hold onto him for dear life. I heard him chuckle and felt the stupid smirk against my chest. “Shhh. People could hear.” He mocked.
“Screw people.” He uncovered my mouth and pulled away for a moment. I gazed at him wantonly. I realized what he wanted a second later when he tried to both push and pull me further up the bed. Taking the hint, I shimmied my way up, so we had more room. Falling off the bed would certainly raise suspicion about what was happening in here.
Montgomery continued his journey down my body to my underwear. He stopped to place a gentle kiss to each of my hips. “Think you can keep quiet Kitten?” I melted at the nickname. I hadn’t heard it in so long.
“Yes.”
“Okay.” He pulled at the waistband of my underwear and they landed on the floor beside the bed. I sighed as he placed kisses to my pubic mound and my upper and inner thighs. Reaching down, I placed my hand on his hair. It felt so soft. Suddenly, he placed a kiss to my clit and my hips bucked. My fingers curled in his hair slightly. I moaned again, quietly this time, when he began to lap at my folds. My fingers curled in his hair more still. I couldn’t stop myself from tugging slightly. When he focused on sucking my clit I pulled on his hair. He moaned against my core and my body shook. When he added a finger or two to the mix, I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming. I had been secretly imagining this moment for the better part of a year. This felt so much better than I could have ever imagined. My orgasm began to build quickly. My walls started to flutter. Monty chuckled. He was well versed in my body’s reactions to stimuli. We both knew what was coming. His fingers thrust faster, and he stopped sucking my clit. Instead, he rubbed my clit harshly. I had to cover my mouth to keep from moaning too loudly. And then everything was bright and light for a second. I felt a, thankfully given our location, small trickle of liquid spill its way out of me. Monty gently slowed, and then stopped his thrusting and rubbing. I was panting and trying to catch my breath.
“Just give me a second.”
“Of course. Take your time.”
I looked down at him as he climbed up the bed. He settled beside me and reached down to palm at his hard dick. Once I had caught my breath, I shoved his hands out of the way and took over the palming. “You are so evil.” He grumbled.
“You love it.” I slipped my hand under the band of his boxer briefs. I hadn’t even touched his dick and he was bucking his hips already. He gasped when I brushed his dick with my fingertips lightly. I grasped it in my hand and stoked it. My movements were stilted by his underwear. After I took them off and dropped them next to my own underwear, there was much more real estate to work with. My hand was back to stroking right away. I was mostly just trying to bide time getting my energy back.
A little longer and my energy was back up to useful levels. So, I straddled his waist again and leaned in to kiss him. I wasn’t as conscious of my nakedness as I normally was. Our kiss was heated but I managed to pull away somehow. The trailing kisses down his chest made his breathing heavy. When I reached his cock, I licked a stripe from base to tip. I felt him tug at my ponytail holder. “I will never understand how this works.” I chuckled and reached up to pull my hair down. It fell in a cascade around my face. I tucked some behind my ear and repeated the same lick. The groan and hand that was winding its way in my hair told me all I needed to know. I smiled to myself before taking his cock in my mouth. I sucked slowly at first. I needed to take a few minutes to get used to the feeling. He removed his hand from my hair then, letting me do my thing. He put it back when I started to take more and more into my mouth and throat. I sighed softly when I managed to take it all. That last half inch was always iffy. His hand was wrapped up in my hair and holding it away from my face. I was surprised that he remembered not to tug when I started bobbing my head. Or maybe that wouldn’t be something a guy would forget. His hand traveled down to the base of my hair and rested against my skull. He started to buck his hips and I gagged slightly. Focusing on breathing through my nose, I kept my pace up. I knew he was holding back. I moaned around his cock and he cursed under his breath. I didn’t quite catch it. I stopped sucking to take a big breath of air.
Before I could resume my actions, Monty tugged on my hair. I looked up at him. There’s the hunger. He tugged on my hair again. He was trying to pull me up towards him without hurting me or being too demanding about it. I crawled forward towards the headboard. Kissing him again was the easiest choice I made this trip. I got lost in the feeling of his lips on mine and his tongue fighting mine for dominance. He took advantage of my distraction and rolled us over again. He always did like to be on top. “Do you have a condom anywhere?” he asked between kisses.
“I slipped one in the nightstand beside the Bible.” I breathed.
“You would put it beside the Bible.” He sat up and reached into the drawer, pulling out the blue foil packet. Once the condom was in place and the foil was discarded, he kissed me again. He was still kissing me when he adjusted our positions so he could enter me. My neck had always been a favourite spot to kiss. I gasped when I felt his cock enter me. It felt amazing. My body knew what to do instinctively as soon as he began thrusting. My hips were quickly able to match his pace. I gripped his biceps tightly, trying to convince myself that I wasn’t dreaming.
As his pace quickened, mine stilled. I was watching him. His brow was furrowed, focusing on this moment. I was pretty sure both of us weren’t sure if it would ever happen again. I reached up and brushed some hair that had fallen into his face away. Montgomery hit a particularly sensitive spot and my hand fell to his shoulder, squeezing and digging my nails into the skin. I moaned loudly and he kissed me to muffle it. “Shhh.” He cooed against my mouth. I whimpered. I felt my orgasm building again. It was coming on fast. My hips started to move on their own accord again. His thrusts started to falter, and I mewled. We were both on a rollercoaster that was speeding up to a stomach dropping fall. I covered my mouth so no one could hear the scream trying to jump from my throat. My eyes screwed shut tightly and my eyes rolled back in my head. The white light was so bright. As soon as my orgasm began to hit, so did Monty’s.
He pulled out of me quickly and discarded the used condom. All but falling over me, he rolled onto his back. We were both breathless. I was gasping for air. He was panting heavily. I rolled over onto my side, for some reason shy to cuddle up against him. It seemed silly to be concerned about that after what we had just done. But it felt like crossing a line. “Come here.” Monty pulled me closer to him.
“Are you sure we should be doing this? It doesn’t cross a line?”
“Reagan. We just had arguably the best sex of our lives and I told you I love you. I think we are way past being concerned about crossing lines.” I sighed, realizing he was probably right. Might as well get comfortable. “You need to go pee first.” I sighed again and excused myself. Back in bed, I curled up beside him again.
“We had to go and make everything complicated.”
“When has anything about us not been complicated?”
“I guess you’re right. Will you stay?” He checked his watch and thought for a minute.
“I can stay for a while if you want me to.”
“Yes please.”
I woke up the next morning alone with the blankets tucked around me tightly. There was a note on the pillow next to me written in Montgomery’s messy scrawl. I’ll be waiting. Remember that. I love you. I set the note in my lap and rubbed my face. I should check my phone. See if I missed anything important. Zach had texted me to say good night the night before, while I was… otherwise engaged. There was a text from Justin asking if I needed to talk. And Scott. He wanted to know if I knew where Monty was last night. Oh god. I forgot they were sharing a room. Oh shit. I need to face Zach now. Deciding it would be best to get it over with as soon as possible, I dragged my butt out of bed. I tucked Monty’s note in my suitcase while I got dressed.
When I looked in the mirror and saw the marks on my chest and neck, I rolled my eyes. I packed a heavy-duty concealer for my under eyes. I wasn’t planning on using it to cover hickeys that my ex-boyfriend left on me. Blending and layering took longer than expected but it was early enough that I was still done at a reasonable time. I had to leave my hair down though. Throwing on a pair of sneakers, I made my way to Zach and Justin’s room. I paused for a second when I passed Montgomery’s room. I shook my head. You can’t. Not while Zach is still a factor in the equation. I knocked on Zach’s door and he opened it shirtless. My eyes trailed down his body. I couldn’t stop the memories of last night from flooding back. “Good morning beautiful.”
“Morning Zachy. Can I come in?”
“Yeah. I’m just about ready.” I nodded and went to sit on his bed. Thankfully I wasn’t walking funny. When he was ready, we went downstairs hand in hand.
Monty was talking to Scott in the hotel lobby. I was shocked to see him awake and dressed at this time. The man likes his sleep. And we didn’t exactly get much last night. “Morning Scott. Monty.” Zach stopped to talk as we passed. I couldn’t look Monty in the eye.
“Morning lovebirds.” Scott replied.
“Zach. Reagan.”
“Morning.”
“No tea yet?”
“No.”
“I see. Long night?” I could hear the smirk in Monty’s voice. I hate you.
“I stayed up watching tv.” Zach began making small talk with the boys but I didn’t contribute anymore. I just wanted to get out of there and be alone with my boyfriend. Part of me hoped I could forget that last night ever happened. That didn’t stop me from thinking about it though. The longer they talked, the more I thought about it.
“Babe let’s go. Brunch is waiting.” I urged him to stop talking to Monty and Scott. Please don’t invite them.
“It’s not even eleven Rea. I don’t think it counts as brunch yet.” Scott laughed.
“Okay, then breakfast is waiting. Either way, I’m hungry and food that is far too calories dense to be considered a proper morning meal is waiting.”
“Did you guys want to come with?” My eyes widened. Did he just…? He did not just invite them with us.
“Uh.” Monty cleared his throat. “Are you sure you want to invite me?”
“Yeah. I mean, you and Reagan are friends. I’m going to have to get used to it somehow.”
“Why don’t we ask Reagan?” Monty turned and looked at me, raising an inquisitive brow.
“Um. I- uh.” I looked down, blushing. “I was kind of hoping we could go… just the two of us?” I asked Zach, raising my voice a couple of octaves.
“Oh. Oh, I’m sorry. I just thought…,” he paused and took my hand again, “of course we can go just us. I was just trying to be nice and make an effort.” He was looking at me so kindly that I had to look away. “Sorry guys.”
“Nah, no worries. Gotta get time with your girl.” Scott waved it off. He shot Monty a look that I didn’t like. It made me feel uneasy. Does he know? Before I could think too much into it, Zach was leading me outside.
Brunch was delicious. Zach was his usual slightly oblivious but in a cute way self. If he had any idea something was wrong, he didn’t let on. On our way back, we stopped to sit and look at the White House from a distance. “Why did you invite Monty and Scott to have brunch with us?”
“Well, I didn’t realize you wanted to go just the two of us.”
“That’s not what I meant. You don’t like Monty. So why invite him to hang out?”
“He’s your friend. As much as I don’t like it and I don’t like how he talks to you, he’s important to you. So, I’m willing to try to be nice to him.” Oh. Well now I feel like even more of an asshole.
“That… That’s really nice of you Zachy. Thank you.”
“No problem. What do you say we head back and watch a movie in your room?” He kissed my temple and stood, holding his hand out to me.
“My room? Could we maybe go back to yours? Mine is kind of messy. I had some trouble finding something to wear this morning.”
“Okay. I don’t think Justin is holing himself up in there today.”
Scott caught us when we got back to the hotel. “Hey! Can I steal Reagan for a few minutes? I need to ask her something about an assignment in Spanish.”
“Sure. We were just going to watch a movie.”
“O-okay.” I waved to Zach and trailed behind Scott to his and Monty’s shared room. “I’m hopeless at Spanish and you know it. What is this about?” Please tell me he doesn’t know.
“Are you going to tell Zach about last night?” Fuck.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“That’s crap. Are you going to tell him, or not? Because he deserves to know.”
“How do you know about it?”
“Monty didn’t come in until like two or three this morning. I hadn’t seen him for hours before that. When I saw him this morning, and the calling card you left on his neck, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together. The concealer on your neck just confirmed my suspicions. Just be thankful Zach is too oblivious to notice it.” I sighed, knowing he was right.
“I will. Just… not while we are still here. I don’t want to ruin anything. More than it already is anyway. Plus no one wants to deal with anyone getting arrested on a school trip.”
“Okay.”
“Is that all?” I turned to leave.
“Yeah. Actually, one more thing?” I stopped just short of the door. “Monty really does love you. And anyone with half a brain cell can see that you still love him. So, you deserve to be happy.”
“Thanks Scott.”
I spent the rest of the trip trying to avoid Montgomery and hold my tongue around Zach. I slept almost the whole flight back to California. School the next day dragged on. It continued to drag on for the next two weeks. Senioritis had set in hard now that we were done the D.C. trip. No one wanted to be there. We were graduating in a month. Most of us were going off to college. The last few weeks of school were basically pointless anyways. Even our teachers didn’t care as much. It was hard, but I managed to stay pretty cordial with Monty. I kept up appearances that everything was fine for most of the two weeks following the trip with Zach. On Friday I woke up and decided that it was time. I had to end things. I had to be fair to him. I had to take a chance and see if Monty and I could make things work this time. I texted Zach on my way to school. Meet me at the docks after school? The water is beautiful this time of year.
Sure.
I sat in my car for ten minutes after I arrived, trying to talk myself out of talking myself out of doing this. Zach wasn’t here yet so I got out of the car and walked around, trying to find a secluded bench where we could talk in private. I found the perfect one under a tree in the shade. It had an amazing view of the water. I snapped a selfie and sent it to him. Come and find me.
Zach snuck up and slid into the spot next to me. I jumped slightly. “Hey beautiful.”
“Hey.”
“I missed you today.”
“Yeah, I had some stuff to do. You know, last minute projects and final touches on assignments.”
“I know.” We sat quietly for a bit, just admiring the view. “You’re right. The water is beautiful this time of year.”
“Yeah.” I picked at my nails nervously. Just do it. “Listen, Zach….” I started.
“Yes?” He took my hand in his. I stared down at it.
“I- I think that…,” I paused. “I think that we need to break up.”
“What? Why?”
“I think it would be the best thing for us Zach.”
“Do you not love me anymore?”
“What? No, of course I do. It’s just… things are changing so fast.”
“Then why?”
“We are both going away to school next year and it will be too hard. I don’t want you to be tied down to someone on the other side or halfway across the country.”
“How do you know it will be too hard, Reagan?”
“Because. I’ve seen people try to make it work. We are eighteen Zach. We have our whole lives ahead of us. College is supposed to be the time where we experiment and make mistakes. To drink too many mixed drinks and wake up in someone else’s bed. I want you to experience that. And you can’t do that if you aren’t single.”
“We don’t leave for school for another two months at least though.”
“I don’t want us to wait until a week before we leave to decide that going into college single is the best choice.” Zach was silent for a while. I felt so bad. It needed to be done though.
“I guess you’re right.”  I smiled sadly at him. “You’ll always be special to me, you know that?”
“I know. You’ll always be special to me too.” I squeezed his hand and he kissed me softly for the last time. Knowing he would need time to sit and process, I was the one who stood and left him on the bench.
In my car before driving away from the docks and Zach, I sent a text message. Four words. Eleven letters. I hoped he would know what it meant. I love you too. The weight of hitting send was unimaginable. I had spent so long denying it, that I didn’t know how to feel about it. I guess I would just have to wait and see what the future held.
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Note
Hi! How are you!? Hope you're good 😁 Could I request a BuckyxFem!Reader oneshot? ❤️
A mission goes wrong. The reader and Bucky are trapped in a cell surrounded by several HYDRA agents. One of them says the keywords to activate the Winter Soldier just at the moment when Steve and Tony appear to help them, they fight against Bucky trying to make him the same again until a scream takes him out of that personality: the reader is wounded, wanting to protect him from another HYDRA agent getting in the way of the bullet. Bucky becomes him again and takes the reader in his arms to return to the quinjet.
Maybe lots of angst and fluffy ending with them confessing eachothers love at the hq?
Thank you so much!!!!!!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
A/N: Hi guys! Wow it’s great to be back and free from college stress. I received this request two months ago, and again I am so sorry it took this long for me to make it, but writing academic papers had absolutely kicked my ass this past semester. This ask obviously takes place where Bucky has not been to Wakanda yet to get his trigger words removed. I hope you guys enjoy! I am a little rusty, and not sure if I should write from the first person perspective or third person perspective for Y/N fanfictions so let me know what you guys prefer. Happy Summer!
Pairings: Bucky x female!Reader
Warnings: Talks of blood, gun violence. Other than that I don’t think there is anything else.
Word Count: 2.5k
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You’re My Endgame
The floor was cold. It’s not like you haven’t endured worse, but the concrete you had been resting your head on was less than inviting. Your body was rigid due to the freezing temperatures and the uncomfortable position you curled your body into. The HYDRA facility you had been captured at was in Lithuania, Bucky promised he knew it like the back of his hand. Things had changed since his work and internal torment as the Winter Soldier, something he wasn’t expecting due to lack of funds on their part. Unfortunately, no one could’ve predicted there were spies in SHIELD funneling crazy amounts of money into new buildings and updating new HYDRA facilities and weapons.
You decided to sit up and stretch your limbs. It had felt like weeks you were being held hostage, but in actuality it was only a day at most. The HYDRA agents kept you and Bucky busy with periodic torture. You’ve been kicked, punched, beaten into the ground even but neither of you talked. Bucky was more familiar with these torture treatments than anyone, but he focused all of his attention on you.
He was the first real friend you had made at the Avengers’ campus. He had trauma, you had trauma, one of the best bonding factors you had both concluded. He listened to stories of your abusive childhood, being trained by your father as his own personal assassin, and he would share whatever he was comfortable telling you. You never poked and prodded. You knew you were more open than most when it came to over sharing experiences. Talking helped some people, others not so much.
You stood up and shook out your arms and legs. Once you stopped, you assessed the bruises on each body part, counting how many had accumulated over the canvas that was your skin. 48 in total. A new record.
You looked over at Bucky to see he was lying in a similar position to you, close enough that you were in arms reach but not too close that you were uncomfortable with his touch. You were both exhausted from the continuous torture, touching was not in anyone’s best interest at this point in time.
He groaned softly, beginning to stretch his limbs out as well. Trying to turn a horrible situation into a lighter occasion (as if that were possible), you cracked a joke in Bucky’s direction.
“Good morning sunshine, I see you decided to join me for our delicious gourmet breakfast” you gestured to nothing behind you on the concrete floor.
Bucky cracked a smile “Good thing I didn’t miss it, I’m starving” he joked back. You understood each other’s humor and personality so well.
“How’re you feeling Buck? I know they did a number on you after me” you looked down at him somberly.
He shook his head “Don’t worry about me. Show me your arms and legs. I wanna see how much they hurt you.”
You rolled your eyes. “Buck I’m fine. I can hold my own just the same as you. We are trained for these situations.”
Bucky rolled his eyes back at you. “Did I ask if you were trained? No. In fact I didn’t ask you anything at all. Show me your goddamn body Y/N”
You didn’t want to stress him out anymore, so you just knelt down in front of him and started showing him your arms. He hovered over them, careful not to touch your delicate flesh. His phase was full of confusion, anger, and something else you couldn’t quite put your finger on. He shook his head, not even wanting to see your legs if this is what your arms looked like. He didn’t want to upset himself even more, which would in turn make you upset.
“Lay back down Y/N. You need to rest, even if it is on concrete. We can’t have your pretty self looking like that when we get back to the compound now can we?” Bucky replied, trying to lighten the mood once again. It was worth a shot.
Bucky always told you you were pretty, never really thinking anything of it. Steve or Natasha was his endgame, and you respected that. You were best friends and best friends always complimented each other like that. You definitely didn’t need to make your relationship more complicated, even if you were desperately in love with him. You would keep those feelings locked down in the deepest crevices of your brain, unwilling to share with anyone.
You smiled towards Bucky, getting ready to sit back down when you heard the door to the basement unlock. You both winced at the sound, turning to look at each other with dread in your eyes. 
Please dear god no more. We can’t take anymore. 
You wanted to keep Bucky safe from HYDRA’s wrath, and he wanted to do the same for you. Given the circumstances however, it was near impossible. Bucky felt helpless that he couldn’t properly protect you against their torture, only adding to his mental torment. He was in pure agony, and hearing that door again made him want to scream out to a higher power he didn’t believe in. 
“Rise and shine dirtbags, we have a new surprise for you today” the first HYDRA agent said with a small smirk on his face. 
You had no idea what they had in store for you today, always expecting the worst. You definitely were not prepared for what they were planning to do to you today.
“You, girl, have you ever met those they call the Winter Soldier?” the second HYDRA agent asked.
You had no idea what he was talking about, honestly thinking he was talking about Bucky. You knew he had been called the Winter Soldier in the past, but Bucky never shared much of his trauma. You didn’t know to the full extent what he was capable of, he never wanted you to know what he was capable of. In response, you nodded with a confused look on your face.
Bucky, however, knew exactly what he was talking about. His heart felt like it had dropped to his stomach, unable to prepare for what was about to happen. He started shaking his head furiously, begging softly. “Please, please don’t do this. I’ll do anything, just please don’t do this. Not with her.” You could see the pain in his eyes.
A third HYDRA agent strutted into the room, just as smug as the other two. He was holding a red book with a black star on it. You thought it was just a log of what torture they had performed on you, but it was much more sinister based off of Bucky backing up into the far corner of the room with absolute dread in his eyes. That’s when the third HYDRA agent started to speak.
“Longing, rusted, seventeen.” Your confusion only grew as the HYDRA agent spoke these words, but your confusion slowly faded as concern took over. You looked over to Bucky who was squinting his eyes as he hugged his rigid body. He was whispering “No, no god please no, please stop.”
You walked over to him gently, crouching. “Bucky? Bucky what’s wrong..”
The second HYDRA agent took the book from the third, continuing reciting the words “Daybreak, furnace, nine.” Everyone’s smile grew wider except yours and Bucky’s. He was starting to shake from fear and anger, knowing what was about to happen. Bucky screamed at you, something he had never done before in his life. “Y/N, get away from me. Just stay away!” 
You were a strong woman, never faltering during a mission, especially in times of crisis, but you felt like curling up into a ball and crying. You were worried, disoriented, and even worse, you couldn't do a damn thing about it. The words kept flowing from the HYDRA agents’ mouths. 
“Benign, homecoming, one” the HYDRA agents spouted in unison. Bucky was screaming in pain. You couldn't bear to look at him, tears streaming down your face as you heard his agony. This was far worse than any torture inflicted on you yet. 
Then, the final word was spoken. 
“Freight Car”
Bucky’s eyes shot wide open. His rigid body remained the same, only beginning to stand instead of hugging himself in the fetal position. That’s when he spoke.
“готов подчиниться”
You understood the meaning, but didn't understand what your best friend had become. That’s when an explosion behind the three HYDRA agents erupted, causing everyone to become disoriented. 
Debris had been blown everywhere, dust clouding your vision and settling all around you. You didn’t see Bucky, you didn’t see the HYDRA agents. All you could see was a glow. It came from beyond where the explosion came from. You began squinting, trying to identify what was heading in your direction. That’s when you began to see flashes of the one and only “Hot Rod” red, along with the Star Spangled Man with a Plan. Although you wanted to smile at your rescue, your thoughts were all encompassed by Bucky. You hadn't known what happened to him, only knowing he was in extreme pain, now missing. You yelled out to Tony and Steve. 
“Over here!! I’m over here. Do you guys see Bucky??”
That’s when you heard a shift in the rubble, only a few short feet from where you were lying. A metal arm had popped out of the ground, reminiscent of the scene in the Evil Dead. 
Thank God. At least I know where he is. 
You worked slowly over to where he had appeared out of the ground. You began removing the stones off of his body with vigor. You could finally see his face and somewhat of his body, calling out his name. 
“Bucky? Bucky tell me if you’re hurt. Bucky please talk to me. You’re scaring me”
His expression remained blank, awaiting orders from whoever was willing to give them first. 
That’s when you heard the faint commands of a fallen HYDRA agent, determined to finish his job. 
“Attack”
Bucky’s reaction was immediate. He grabbed your throat with force, causing you to claw at his metal arm with what little energy you had left. Gasping and kicking your feet as he held you in the air, you tried calling out to him. This was your best friend, surely he had to recognize you. That’s when Steve threw his shield directly at Bucky’s legs, causing him to loosen his grip on your neck.
You fell to the ground coughing, your body begging for air as you inhaled so sharply you thought your chest would explode. Your coughing didn’t stop for a few seconds, only being brought back from reality when you heard the clash of vibranium on vibranium. You looked up to see Steve and Bucky fighting, Steve screaming “Buck! Buck it’s us!”
Bucky replied with angry grunts, not understanding anything but his commands. While Steve and Bucky fought, Tony was busy securing the area, taking out other HYDRA agents who had flooded the scene. You didn’t know what to do, but you knew Bucky was your top priority. You called out to him several times, hoping he would realize it was you. Your cries fell on deaf ears, however, as he continued to fight Steve with all of his might. 
You quickly glanced at everything going on, that’s when you noticed a HYDRA agent Tony had missed while fending them off. He was holding a loaded pistol, directly in Steve and Bucky’s direction. Before you could truly process what was going on, you heard the gunshot go off. At this point you weren’t too far away from them, sprinting in their direction to protect them from the bullet. You launched yourself in their direction, screaming in pain as your body was pushed to it’s limits already in pain. As you fell to the ground, you barely noticed the bullet had entered your right shoulder. Figuring the pain was from landing on sharp stones, you groaned loudly. 
As soon as you screamed, Bucky was ripped from his Winter Soldier persona and back into reality. However, Steve didn't see his realization, landing a punch straight to Bucky’s jaw, sending him staggering back. Both Steve and Bucky turned their attention to you, lying on the ground and bleeding everywhere. Bucky, who couldn’t care less about the fact that he just got punched in the face, moved over to your body with haste.
He looked down at you softly, covered in dirt and blood. His heart wretched in his chest, knowing all of this could’ve been avoided if he just double checked the layouts of the base before invading the building for their mission. “Y/N? Y/N sweetheart talk to me please” he said as he picked your head up gently to lay in his lap. You coughed up a little spittle of blood as you turned to look at him with tenderness in your eyes.
“Bucky? Is, is it you?”
He smiled down at you, with tears rolling down his cheeks. 
“Yes sweetheart, it’s me. Just hang in there for me okay? We’re gonna get you to the quinjet. It’s gonna be okay.” You could hear the cracks in his voice as he spoke to you, but couldn't focus on it for too long. Both your vision and your hearing were starting to waver, going in and out as the chaos ensued around you. 
The last words you remembered hearing before everything went back was Bucky’s voice. 
“Don’t leave me now sweet girl, I need you. Please don’t go, you’re it for me.”
He continued talking, but lost consciousness as he spoke. Everything was dark.
_______________________________________________________________________
You woke up, looking at an absolutely blinding light. You squinted as you opened your eyes, not fully able to open them completely thanks to the mini sun above your head. 
You began to move your limbs, realizing that someone was holding your left hand. You looked over to see Bucky, sitting with you in the quinjet infirmary, his head hung low and gentle sobs escaping his mouth. 
You spoke up softly, unable to speak at a normal tone. 
“Bucky?” 
Bucky picked up his head, eyes puffy and red from the crying, not expecting you to be awake so soon after how much blood you had lost. 
“Y/N? Oh god, oh sweetheart” he stood up and kissed your forehead, not wanting to move your body by embracing you with a hug.
You smiled up at him as he hovered above your face, taking in your beauty.
He spoke with a quiver in his voice. 
“I, I thought I’d lost you. All because I was a fucking idiot who couldn't do my job before the mission, Y/N I am so sorry, I don’t, I never wanted you to see me that way. I’m so stupid, I’m-” you stopped Bucky from continuing his pity party by raising your left hand to his lips, shushing him with one finger. 
You gently removed your hand and lifted your head slightly to meet his lips with yours. You both closed your eyes as your lips met, savoring how delicious you both tasted, even post mission. You deepened the kiss slightly, angling your head so you both had more access to each other’s mouths. You held the kiss for what seemed like forever, finally decided to pull away softly. 
Staring into his beautiful ocean blue eyes, smiling up at him while holding the back of his head, you spoke softly “You are Bucky Barnes, and you’re my endgame.”
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auburnaudry · 3 years
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Surprises make everything better! -Brock Boeser
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A/N: This is my favorite writing so far so I hope you like it as much as I do. I actually enjoy writing now so if anyone has any request let me know and I will try my best! Or if you wanna talk about/have questions about any of my writing let me know I would love to chat about it.
Side note: I’m really sorry, I have zero idea how to give credit to the creator of a GIF so if anyone knows how to do that and can help me figure it out that would be much appreciated? Thank ya <3
Summary: Brock canceled your original plans for the summer and you are really upset about it! To make you feel better he sends a surprise to you apartment.
Word count: 1552 words
“Hey bubs” you answered the FaceTime call coming in from your boyfriend. You were sitting on your bed with your laptop open besides you, scrolling through tiktok on your phone before Brock had called.
“Hey, what are you up to?” From the looks of it, Brock was currently in his car driving somewhere.
“I’m suppose to be in class right now but I can’t focus so it’s kinda just playing as background noise at the moment. Whata bout you? Where are you going?” Since your school work is online this semester you find it increasingly difficult to pay attention to your classes and often find yourself FaceTimeing Brock during them.
“Baby your suppose to be paying attention.” He chuckled giving you a look “Anyway, I’m on my way home from practice but I really missed you and wanted to hear your voice” he wasn’t always open about his feelings while you were away at school so hearing him say that made your heart ache a little.
“Awe, I miss you more Brocky. Only a couple more weeks till we get to see each other.” Since the Canucks didn’t find themselves in a playoff spot this season, Brock was going to be done with hockey around the same time your finals were starting.
“Actually baby I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.” His expression changed from happy to serious. “I actually think I’m gonna head straight to Minnesota when the season ends. It’s way too complicated to figure out what I’m going to do with the dogs and I’m also really sick of all the traveling” you were really caught off guard by his words because just last week he was so excited to come and see you.
The original plan was that Brock was going to fly out to NYC, after his season ended, to finally see you and keep you company during finals week. And after, he was going to help you pack up your apartment and drive with you back to your family’s home in Connecticut. Then you would spend a month hanging out with all your friends and family, before flying back to Minnesota for the rest of the summer to do the same with his loved ones.
“Oh” was all you could manage. You were kinda hurt that he didn’t want to put in the extra effort to come and see you, after not being able to see each other in person for almost 4 months.
“I’m sorry bubs, it’s just a lot, but after your finals you can fly straight out to Minnesota, it’ll only be one extra week” now he was starting to irritate you.
“But I wanted us to have time to spend with my family because we always see yo-.... you know what never mind it’s all good” you were trying your best not to sound bitter and to see his side of things but you just couldn’t. “I actually have to go this class is important and I should probably be paying attention, I’ll call you later.”
“Y/n please don’t go, we should talk about this.” Brock tried
“No it’s fine I’m not upset. I’ll talk to you later.” You tried to convince him.
“Alright, I love you please call me later.” He pleaded
“K bye.” And with that you hung up. It was actually the first time you hung up without saying you loved him back. You obviously still loved him but you were so upset with him, the words just couldn’t come out. Now you felt guilty about it, what if something happened and the last thing you said to him was ‘k bye’. Before you could get lost in your thoughts though, a text came through.
Brockstar 💫:
You didn’t say it back 😔
Y/n/n 🍑:
I love you
Brockstar 💫:
Do you mean it? 🤔
Y/n/n 🍑:
More than anything
Brockstar 💫:
Good cause same.
You were happy he noticed and wasn’t afraid to say something to you about it. It made you feel like your love was wanted and needed. But even with that, you were still very upset with him.
...
Y/n/n 🍑:
Have a safe flight buddy, I love you 💕
Brockstar 💫:
Call me buddy one more time...
Y/n/n 🍑:
Or what?... buddy
Brockstar 💫:
😐 you are impossible
Love you I’ll text you when I land... Good luck on your final today your gonna crush it I know you got big brains
Y/n/n 🍑:
Thanks buddy
Brockstar 💫:
Uggggg 🙄
Today Brock was flying back to Minnesota and you were starting you rigorous final schedule. Although you were still a little sad that he wasn’t coming to see you, you understood that he just wanted to get home after the season, so you were trying not to hold it against him too much.
You continued on with your day, continuing to prepare for your final that started at 1:00pm. You were definitely ready to get it over with. This one was the toughest of your finals and you were glad it was your first.
1:00pm came faster than expected and before you knew it your were starting your final. It was actually going a lot better than expected and you were on track to finish an hour early, not taking up the full 4 hours.
When you finally finished, you took a giant breathe of relief. You sat down on your couch and thought about what you wanted to eat for dinner that night, you had skipped lunch so you were starving.
You were soon pulled from your thoughts by a knocking on your apartment door. You went to look through the peep hole and saw a man walking away. You waited until he was most of the way down your hall to open the door and peek out. There was a beautiful edible arrangement sitting on the ground with a note attached.
You quickly picked it up and brought it into your apartment, closing the door behind you. You placed it on your kitchen island and took your phone out to take a picture before digging in. You grab the note first and read it out loud to yourself.
I’m sorry I’m the worst boyfriend on planet earth, so I hope this makes up for it or at least makes you feel a little better. I know it’s your favorite so if you don’t feel better, than I know I really messed up this time.
Hopefully still the love of your life,
Brock
Y/n/n 🍑:
You will obviously always be the love of my life no matter what you do.... thanks babe it actually did make me feel better
Brockstar 💫:
Shit it came already? I didn’t want it to get there till after your final! I’m sorry if you were interrupted😬
Y/n/n 🍑:
I finished my final an hour early! It came at the perfect time.
Brockstar 💫:
Ok good 😅
Y/n/n 🍑:
Thanks bubs I love you 💕
Brockstar 💫:
Love you too
You started to pick at the basket but had to stop yourself so you wouldn’t over eat before dinner. While trying to figure out what you were in the mood for you heard another knock at your door.
You rolled your eyes because this was the second time you were interrupted while trying to figure out what you were going to eat for dinner. Before you got to the door the person knocked again so you forewent looking out the peephole and just swung the door opened, slightly agitated but the impatience of whoever was at your door.
When the door fully opened you were met with Brock standing in front of you with all his luggage and holding your favorite flowers.
“Hi!” He smiled as the words left his mouth. You automatically started sobbing because you were so happy to see him. You put your arms around his neck locking him into a hug, accidentally smushing the flowers a little in the process.
“What are you doing here?” You cried into his neck.
“You didn’t actually think I would fuck up our entire summer plans did you?” He chuckled as he placed the flowers on top of his suit case so he could properly hug you back.
“Uggggg why would you do that to me? I was so sad.” You said still gripping him as hard as you could, afraid to let go.
“I’m sorry baby, I thought a surprise would be more fun.” You giggled into his neck.
“Yeah so much fun” you said sarcastically “I’m just glad you’re here.” You said pulling away to give him a kiss.
“Me too” after pecking his lips another time, you helped him bring his bags inside. You didn’t have plans for the night but you were starving so he suggested getting takeout and bringing it back to the apartment.
You agreed because you were drained from your exam and weren’t in the mood to dress up and go out. You also wanted to spend as much time in Brocks arms as humanly possible and being in the privacy of your apartment would allow for that.
You spent the rest of your night between the sheets making up for the 4 months you lost. You still couldn’t believe that he was actually with you in your apartment but you cherished every moment of it.
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quokkacore · 4 years
Text
please don’t bite [wong yukhei] (m)
part of the wasn’t on pawpose collab
summary: you’d always prided yourself on being able to read people well and managing yourself as an independent hybrid in a world that was still getting over that. but when lucas, your best friend, manages to get himself turned into a wolf hybrid, it has you second-guessing everything you thought you knew about yourself, him, and the both of you, together. 
pairing: wolfhybrid!lucas x bunnyhybrid!femreader
genre: friends to enemies to lovers, fluff, smut, angst, thriller if you squint
warnings: language, lucas is a bit of a dick, medical experimentation, mentions of sexual harassment, knotting, breeding kink, mating cycles, degradation (use of the word bitch to be specific), dirty talk, biting, marking, size kink, possessiveness, jealousy, mentioned doyoung x reader, momentarily dubious consent, stomach bulging, slight predator x prey dynamic between lucas and reader
song rec: troye sivan - bite ♡ wonder girls - why so lonely  ♡ neon trees - everybody talks  ♡ harry styles - cherry  ♡ the 1975 - tonight (i wish i was your boy)  ♡ sunmi - 24/7  ♡ loona (jinsoul)  - singing in the rain ♡ fall out boy - hold me tight, or don’t  ♡ wayv - bad alive
word count: 17.6k
a/n: this turned out a lot longer and a lot angstier than i expected. also.... dont ask where yukhei’s human ears went. i don’t know either :P
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masterlist
You were going to kill Lee Taemin, if the dean of your university didn’t do it first. This was all his fault. 
It all started at the beginning of the semester, when Lucas, your best friend and roommate, had told you during dinner he was helping your older friend, Taemin with an experiment for his Ph.D. You'd expected him to say he'd be handing out surveys on Main Street or trying some new diet and writing down the effects, or something along those lines. 
Nope, not at all. What he really said had thrown you for a loop. “Actually, I’m gonna be trying out some hybrid hormone pills he’s been working on that have finally been cleared for human testing.”
You’d choked on the pizza you were eating. “You’re going to do what!?” You cried when you finally managed to swallow your food.
“Dude, chill,” He answered, large hands waving back and forth passively, “Taemin hyung is 99% percent sure that they’re absolutely safe. I’m just supposed to go in for testing once a week and write down any side effects I feel, which, according to him, should be at most three or four, and they’re not even that major.”
“Okay…” You’d answered, quirking your head. You were still slightly wary, your ears twitching. "And Taemin's like, completely sure they're safe to eat?" 
Lucas nodded, demeanor completely casual. His calm expression did nothing to deter your concerns, mind going a mile a minute when a new thought popped into your mind.
“Yukhei, what kind of hybrid hormones are you even taking? Predator hybrids or prey hybrids?”
His smile had disappeared slightly, and his eyes left your face to stare down at his plate. Your stomach sank, and your foot started tapping in distress.
“Wong Yukhei. What kind of hormones are they gonna give you.”
“They’re, uh… alpha wolf hormones.”
Your eyes widened, and he rushed to placate you. “Y/N, bunny, calm down. I know how you feel about predator hybrids, but I wouldn’t be doing this if I thought there was something weird about this whole thing. The dean is breathing down Taemin’s neck telling him not to fuck it up. Trust me, he wouldn’t be doing this if he wasn’t absolutely certain that it was safe.”
You chewed on your lips, before sighing. “Please be careful, Xuxi. You’re my best friend. I don’t want you to hurt yourself all because Taem wants to find a way to get taller after puberty.”
Lucas had laughed, glad that the mood in your kitchen had shifted from tense to slightly less tense. He grabbed your hand, your eyes dropping to glance at it for a second, before looking him in his eyes. “If you want… He told me earlier he’d be at the lab until like, midnight. Maybe we could go pay him a visit, and he can explain everything better, you know?”
You pursed your lips, glancing at the clock. It was almost eight. After a few seconds, you huffed, and nodded, the tension finally diffusing.
“Alright, alright, let me get my jacket.”
He grinned at you, and you flashed him a smile back, automatically endeared at his goofy expression as he disappeared to gather his things. You smiled to yourself, looking down at your hands which had fallen into your lap, sighing.
Too cute. He's too cute.
The walk to the campus lab took about fifteen minutes, maybe less. Lucas, despite being taller than you, actually walked at a much more snail-like pace, and thus fell victim to your playful teasing over his slow walk.
"You're part bunny," He pointed out, eyes briefly glancing at the white rabbit ears poking out from your hair, "You have that natural spring in your step."
"Bull," You countered with a smile, turning to face him, now walking backwards, "They disproved the whole ‘rabbit hybrids run faster than humans’ theory years ago. You just suck at walking, Xuxi."
"You just suck at walking, Xuxi," Lucas grumbled, mocking your tone, but there was no malice behind it. You laughed, turning as he took a few quicker strides to catch up. His hand came up to pat the spot between your fluffy ears at the top of your head, and you hummed in satisfaction as the door of the chemistry department finally came into view. 
The ride up the elevator was quiet. You were still slightly uneasy, ears twitching, something Lucas easily picked up on. He flashed you a soft smile, pulling you closer.
“Everything will be fine, bunny. I promise.”
You nodded, pressing your head against his shoulder. You took a deep breath, taking in Lucas’s distinct scent of cinnamon. “I’m sorry I blew up at you earlier… But you gotta admit, it sounds risky. And with the side effects, I thought maybe it would affect behaviot, and a lot of predator hybrids are just huge dicks, sometimes, especially around prey hybrids, you know? They’re creepy and asshole-ish and, well, you remember the snow leopard guy we met at The Burrow a few months ago, right?”
Lucas’s eyes darkened, recalling the time you had to mace a hybrid at a bar because the guy was getting handsy with you, despite the fact that you had made it incredibly clear that you weren’t interested. He nodded, staring at his feet.
“I don’t want any of Taemin’s weird science hurting you or affecting your behavior.”
He nodded, eyes sympathetic. “I totally get it. But like I said earlier, I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t trust hyung with it 100%, or if I thought that it could hurt me or you in any way. You’re my bunny, you know? I would never do anything to hurt you.” 
“I know, I know, Xuxi, and I trust you… But I will cut Taemin’s legs off if you die.”
He shook his head, his amused smile growing lopsided on his features.
Finally, the elevator made a ding! and the doors slid open. The hallway was lit with industrial fluorescent lights, much brighter than the warm light of the elevator.
Lucas’s larger hand grabbed yours, leading you down the hallway. 
“I don’t even remember the last time I saw Taem,” You mumbled, not really thinking about the topic, “It’s like he lives here now.”
“Yeah, I know,” Lucas replied, “Baekhyun hyung’s been begging him to just let it go for at least a night, but he’s obsessed.”
A few doors later, and you finally arrived at the one indicating it was the floor’s chemistry lab, and Lucas knocked once, twice, before a soft, muffled voice said, “Come in!”
Lucas opened the door, letting you step in first before following suit and closing the door behind him. On the other end of the lab, stood a thin, short man facing away from the both of you, typing away at a laptop. You knew it was Taemin, he smelled like Taemin, but your mind didn’t immediately register that it was him; his ashy blond hair was up in a hairnet, he was wearing a long lab coat, and there were blue latex gloves covering his hands. 
“Hyung?” Lucas asked, and the typing stopped abruptly as Taemin turned, took in the sight of the both of you, before flashing a gummy smile. 
“Hey! Y/N, long time, no see. And Yukhei!! Just the person I wanted to talk to.” His tone was pleasant, excited. “I wanted to talk to you about your hormone treatment.” 
“That’s great, because we wanted to talk to you about it also.”
Taemin furrowed his eyebrows, giving a slight shake of his head. His eyes flicked back and forth between you and Lucas. “We?”
Your eyes widened before holding out your hands. You exchanged a brief look with Lucas, whose ears were a bright red. 
“I wanted to know about the whole wolf hormone thing because… you know. Well, you know how we live together, and prey hybrids and predator hybrids don’t really get along well, you know? I mean, I know that it’s just hormones, but… should we be worried about anything? Should I be worried?”
Taemin’s mouth dropped open slightly as he registered what you said, and he shut his eyes before shaking your head.
“No, not at all! I totally understand your concerns, Y/N. We’re using several different test subjects for the human testing, all with different circumstances, but they’re our ‘demographic’ when it comes to using the treatment. A few are hard of hearing, others have suffered physical trauma in their legs or arms, some have poor eyesight. Our intention with using wolf hormones is to see if it can be used as adequate treatment for specific disabilities.”
“Lucas doesn’t have any of those things?” You said, confused. You glanced at Lucas, who was still watching Taemin, before the latter spoke again.
“He’s part of a separate group, people who have no major medical ailments or physical disabilities. We want to see what the effects could be on the statistically average human.”
You nodded, still feeling slightly uneasy despite Taemin’s otherwise chipper attitude. “So the expected changes are going to be mostly physical? No behavioral side effects?” 
“A few behavioral side effects, but nothing major. Increased appetite, irritability, high energy, maybe increased libido. Nothing too major. Mostly we’re trying to see if he gets stronger, or if his hearing and eyesight improve… I understand you feel worried, Y/N, but the members of my research team and I have been working around the clock to make sure that these pills are absolutely safe for human consumption. From our research, there’s like, a 98.7% chance that nothing other than the expected side effects will show up, and those aren’t really behavioral at all.”
“Why not 100%?” You asked, eyes shifting back and forth uneasily.
Taemin grimaced, gaze sympathetic as he exchanged a look with Lucas, and then with you. “Well, nothing is ever 100% confirmed, so science doesn’t really lend itself to certainty, y’know?”
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That had been two months ago.
For the first two weeks, everything seemed like it would be fine. Lucas’s only complaints about the hormone pills were that they made his hair grow a bit faster and that they were so big that they were hard to swallow. Then… things started to happen.
First, he started to eat a whole lot more. Every time you saw him between classes, he seemed to be chewing on something. You were grateful he wasn’t touching your food, because he seemed to only ever be eating meat.
“Didn’t Taemin say I’d probably get hungrier?” He asked one night, eating a ham sandwich as he sat on the couch. You were resting your head on his thigh, scrolling through Instagram while hoping that any crumbs wouldn’t fall into your hair or your ears.. You set down your phone, blinking as you tried to remember, before nodding. 
“Yeah, he did. Shouldn’t you write that down?”
“Uhh… Yeah.” He stood, you sitting up, and walked towards his room, probably to do as you suggested, before he called out to you one last time. He at least had the decency to look a bit sheepish.
“Hey bunny, can you, uh, order some Chinese food?”
Then he started complaining about loud noises. However, from what you could tell, there were no loud noises at all. Your rabbit ears, from what you understood, had similar hearing to that of humans, only you were slightly more sensitive to higher frequencies. So you were incredibly confused when Lucas barged in while you were pacing in your room, going over flashcards for an exam, dark eyes glaring at you. He seemed slightly ticked off.
“Can you please stop stomping around in here? I’m trying to finish a paper.”
Your eyebrows furrowed, and you glanced down at your feet, which were covered by a pair of fuzzy socks. “Uhh, I’m not stomping?”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Y/N, I’m serious, stop yelling. This paper is due tomorrow and it’s like 15% of my final grade.” 
“And I’m serious too?” Your tone was perplexed, because you weren’t yelling at all, “I was just pacing, Xuxi, like this.”
You took a few steps back and forth to show him, footsteps light, barely audible, and his face scrunched up in discomfort. 
“But… it’s so loud. It’s giving me a headache.”
You made a face, before your eyebrows shot up, and your ears did as well. 
“Do you think it’s because of the hormones?” You asked, lowering your voice so it was just above a whisper, “Taemin said that would probably happen, remember? Wolves have crazy hearing.”
He opened his mouth to answer, before closing it again. He flashed you a weird look, before shaking his head. “Okay...? I’ll tell hyung that it’s working… But like, can you please just sit down while you study?” 
You nodded, sympathetic, and he closed the door. But a few seconds later, he reopened it. He looked a bit confused. “Is that… new perfume?”
It was your turn to make a face at him. “Huh?”
He shook his head, still looking confused. “Uh, nothing,” He mumbled, waving a dismissive hand, “Never mind. Forget I asked.” 
He closed the door a final time, and you were left even more weirded out than you already were. 
Somehow, he got even taller than he already was. A few days later when you were making breakfast for the both of you and you had your back turned, he came and hugged you from behind, still addled with sleep. You paid him no mind, continuing your task. One of his arms wrapped itself around your neck, almost as if he were trying to put you into a loving headlock, something he often did. In response, you did what you often did whenever he did so, which was to nuzzle your chin against his forearm.
"Good morning," He hummed, voice deep and raspy, “That smells good."
“For you,” You answered, scrunching up your nose as you turned over the bacon, “I feel like you forget sometimes that my genes make me a herbivore, Xuxi.”
Lucas stepped away, and you frowned at the loss of warmth. “Eh, sometimes. Do you want me to grab a plate?”
You set down the spatula before turning off the stove, as you turned to face him. 
“You can serve yours—oh my god.”
You had lifted your head to where you usually did to look up at Lucas, and for some reason, had only been met with his neck. You craned your neck back even further, and met his eyes, which held a confused look, eyebrows furrowed, mouth agape. 
“Did you get… smaller?”
“No,” You mumbled, still in disbelief, “I think you got… bigger. H-how tall exactly were you again?”
“Uh, 1.83 meters.”
You nodded, closing your mouth. “Yeah, you’re definitely more than that now.”
Lucas peered down at you, gaze slightly concerned. “This is starting to get really weird. Should I write this down?”
You frowned, looking him up and down. The shirt he’d went to bed with, an oversized white tee, now fit him better. “Yukhei, at this point, I think you should go see Taemin. Did he even mention growth spurts?”
Lucas blinked, before pushing the hair out of his still puffy, sleep ridden eyes. “Hmm, I don’t think he did. I’ll eat breakfast and then go see him.”
According to Lucas, when he’d gotten back, Taemin had been over the moon when he’d measured him and found he’d grown almost 11 centimeters in his sleep, now standing at 1.94 meters. 
Everything had been somewhat tolerable. Not yet batshit insane. Lucas’s mood swings were relatively easy to handle as long as you left him alone whenever he seemed pissy, and he always apologized afterwards. He started staying up even later, but you didn’t really mind since he did his best not to be too loud. 
Sure, the fact that his hair started growing faster and ended up in the shower drain when he decided to “manscape” (his words, not yours) was gross, but bearable. His random bursts of energy, making him even more eccentric than he already was, were kind of like babysitting a huge, five year old Lucas doped up on caffeine. Which, while a bit more tiring to put up with, had not yet crossed into uncanny territory.
Yet. 
It all came to a head one Sunday morning, when Lucas had woken you up when he started screaming from the bathroom. You were woken from your peaceful slumber, and immediately stumbled out of bed to see what was going on, tripping on your way out the door in your panic.
“Yukhei!?” You shouted, slamming the door open. Your eyes were wide. Your heart was racing. Immediately your nose was hit with a strange odor. That put you even more on edge than you already were. Your eyes scanned the small bathroom in a haste. Your eyes fell to the corner. There, was Lucas, huddling. Knees to his chest, hands covering the top of his head, trembling and babbling incoherently, the sound muffled by the fact that his face was buried somewhere in between his knees and his chest.
“Y-Yukhei?” You repeated again, this time quieter, breathing heavily, anxiously. Was he having a panic attack? Was this a side effect of the treatment? “C-can I come closer?”
He trembled, not giving you an answer, still mumbling to himself. He seemed almost catatonic. Swallowing the lump in your throat at seeing your closest friend like this, you steeled yourself. Crouching, and slowly making your way to him, you cautiously held out an arm, and slowly, slowly, touched his hand.
He immediately flinched away, your heart dropping at his action. He sniffled, letting out a little sob, and tears sprung into your eyes. You blinked them away as best you could. He needed someone to lean on, and you couldn’t do that if you were an emotional mess.
“No, no,” He cried, voice small. “Please, stay away.”
“Yukhei,” You murmured, voice wavering, “I’m not gonna leave you like this. W-what’s wrong? Tell me Xuxi, please. You’re scaring me.”
“Y-you’ll hate me.”
You gasped quietly, resting your hand on his. “Xuxi… I could never hate you.”
“Even looking like this!?” He snapped harshly, lifting his gaze, dropping his arms, and you fell back onto your butt in shock. Your mouth fell open, eyes wide, white ears stood at full attention.
You peered into Lucas’s teary, red rimmed eyes. Only they weren’t Lucas’s eyes. Lucas’s eyes had always been a deep, rich brown, reminiscent of the earth. But these eyes were a bright, glowing amber, seeming almost radioactive in how much brighter they were than Lucas's old eye color. 
Your mouth moved as you scrambled to say something, but no sound came out. Your eyes caught the attention of something twitching atop Lucas’s head, and you blinked dumbly, taking in the salt and pepper pointy ears peeking out between his caramel colored hair, before scanning his entire body and taking in the thick tail swishing back and forth behind him.
The blood in your body ran cold as you took a deep breath through the nose. Lucas’s signature scent of cinnamon was still there, but now overpowered by the strange odor from earlier. You realized with a chill that the scent was earthy, musky, a smell you were no stranger to as a hybrid. Your animal instincts automatically kicked in, whispering in your mind: predator. wolf. danger. danger. danger.
 “I…” Your voice was hoarse as you pushed yourself up onto the balls of your feet, inching closer towards him slowly, despite the hairs on your neck standing straight up and telling you to run far, far away. 
“Y-Yukhei, what happened?”
He shook his head, shaking like a leaf. “I don’t know,” He mumbled in a daze, and although he was staring at you with those strange yellow eyes, you got the impression from the blank look in them that he wasn’t really looking at you. “I woke up, and I c-came in here and I looked in the mirror and…”
He didn’t finish, but you got the point. You pursed your lips, before making your way towards him, but he let out a groan and you froze in your spot as he knocked his head against the wall, eyes fluttering shut. 
“What is that smell?” He growled, “Why do you smell like that?”
“Like what?” You asked quietly, anticipating his answer. He shook his head, cracking his eyes open ever so slightly to peer at you. His gaze seemed to freeze you in place. 
“Like… jasmine? I mean, it’s so strong…”
You stared at him, wide-eyed, unable to tell him that that was your characteristic scent as a hybrid. You were still reeling from the fact that Lucas, who up until yesterday, aside from a few obnoxious habits, had been very human, was now a hybrid just like you, with ears and a tail and…
You glanced down at his gritted teeth, taking note of the very, very sharp canines that had seemingly grown overnight. 
You gulped, looking up at him. His wide eyes showed you that he was just as terrified as you were, and you swallowed back your wariness when your heart clenched at the sight. He needed help more than you needed comforting.“We need to get you to Taemin. Now.”
You had to force Lucas into his car, which was not easy in his dazed state, considering he was so much bigger than you. Towering over you, pure muscle, and basically a limp rag doll. In your panic, you’d forgotten your phone, your pants, and to give Lucas some shoes. You did the driving despite the fact that it was his car. He still seemed too frazzled to do so, so you buckled him up and started the ten minute drive to Taemin’s apartment.  
On the way, you did your best to ignore the situation at hand. That just because Lucas was a predator hybrid now didn’t automatically make him like the rest of them. Lucas wasn’t like the pervy fox hybrids who would follow you for blocks when you were in high school. He wasn’t like the snow leopard you’d forced off of yourself. He was Lucas, he was Yukhei. He was your Xuxi, and you needed to repeat yourself that he wouldn’t hurt a fly. 
The silence in the car was tense. You were sure that with his heightened senses, Lucas could hear everything, and you didn’t want to say anything to upset him further. He didn’t say anything to you. You didn’t say anything to him. And when you parked in front of Taemin’s apartment building, you got him out of the car, and grabbed him by the hand to walk to the door.
You were grateful it was Sunday morning. There weren’t that many people out on the street as you tapped your foot impatiently, pressing the button to buzz the comm on Taemin’s apartment incessantly. The few people that did pass were more focused on your sleep-addled bedhead and bare feet than anything else, and you thanked the universe for the fact that your oversized sleep shirt fell to your mid thighs. 
“It’s eight in the morning. Literally what do you want,” A deep, groggy voice grumbled, and you rolled your eyes. Finally.
“It’s Y/N and Lucas,” You said into the speaker, pressing a hand to your forehead in frustration. “You need to see this, now.”
 “Uhh, it’s Jongin,” The voice mumbled, and your eyes squeezed shut. He sounded so hungover. And whenever Jongin was hungover, that probably meant Taemin was hungover as well, and that it was generally Baekhyun’s idea. 
“Wake Taem up, please, Nini,” You pleaded desperately. “It’s life or death.”
“Fine, fine, okay. Come on up.”
When you made it up to their floor, a bedraggled Jongin opened the door. He was shirtless, his hair was sticking up in random spots, his face was still puffy, and he didn’t look happy to be woken up.
He looked you up and down, eyebrows furrowing at your appearance. “I swear this had better be good,” He told you, before turning to look at Lucas, “or I’m gonna—”
Jongin cut himself off as he registered the pointy ears, the fluffy tail, and the glowing yellow eyes. His eyes widened, certainly looking more awake now. His mouth started moving, but no sound came out.
“I—uh—is this why—?”
“Get Taemin,” You snapped, ready to kill him. You were furious, to say the least, ready to barge in and kick Taemin’s ass. This was his fault, all in the name of mad science. But then you added softly, voice wavering, “I don’t know what to do.”
For someone who almost never stopped talking, Taemin had nothing to say, for once. Instead, his eyes turned wide as saucers, his eyebrows jumped up to his hairline, and you were sure that if his jaw could have dropped any lower, it would have fallen below sea level. When he finally did manage to speak, his voice was small and unsure, and he never stopped gawking at the ears on Lucas’s head.
“Uh… Y-Y/N, Jongin, could you give us a minute, please?” 
So you did, letting them walk off to Taemin’s bedroom, and as Jongin sat you down on the couch to make you some tea, Baekhyun emerged from his own bedroom. Baekhyun at least looked a bit more awake than the dynamic duo, who, in their hungover state, both looked like the walking dead. 
“Y/N?” He asked, seeing you on the couch. He had a small but confused smile on his face. “What are you doing here…?”
“You’re not gonna believe what Taemin did to Yukhei,” Jongin’s voice declared from the kitchen. Baekhyun furrowed his eyebrows, craning his head once, to look at Taemin’s shut door, again, to look at Jongin standing at the cupboard, and then to you, sitting on the couch with a blank stare on your face.
Baekhyun blinked. “Shit, did he kill him?” 
You pursed your lips, staring at him wide eyed, eyebrows furrowed. Your look was meant to convey something along the lines of, you’ve got to be kidding me. And by the way Baekhyun grimaced at himself a few moments later, broad shoulders scrunching up, he got the message loud and clear.
“Sorry. Just trying to lighten the situation, I guess?”
“Not helping, hyung,” Jongin huffed as he made his way over to you, handing you the warm mug of tea. You accepted it with a quiet “thanks,” before blowing on the tea and taking a quick sip. 
“What even happened?” Jongin’s deep voice was quiet, concerned. He sat down next to you, and Baekhyun sat down on your other side.
So you told the story from the beginning of the treatment, all the way up to when you decided to bring Lucas to Taemin. The hearing, the growth spurt, his mood swings. They listened, nodding along to the story and thankfully, not interrupting. From Baekhyun, at least, that was surprising. 
When you finished, you looked at them, then at your tea, which didn't feel as hot anymore. You lifted the mug to your lips, relishing the warm chamomile taste as Baekhyun opened his mouth to speak. Still not very comforting, but at least you were filling your stomach with something.
"Wow…" He mumbled, still in slight disbelief. "So, Yukhei's a hybrid now?"
“I guess. I don’t know.” Your voice sounded empty. 
Jongin sighed, gaze pensive. “What’s gonna happen between the two of you, though? You live together. You of all people know that prey hybrids and predator hybrids, living together in tiny spaces don’t really mix well.”
You frowned, settling the mug down on their coffee table. “It’s not like he’s gonna become one of those asshole-y hybrids overnight, y’know?” “Didn’t you say he snapped at you this morning?” Baekhyun asked, tilting his head. “You said he was having mood swings, too.” 
You shook your head, fluffy ears flattening against it as the stress seemed to accumulate in your body. “It wasn’t like that. I think he was just freaked out. And as for his mood swings… I don’t know.”
An awkward silence filled the room, and you gazed at your hands on your lap. 
“Uh, Y/N…” Jongin mumbled, tips of his ears a bright red, “A-are you wearing pants?”
“Oh,” You answered dumbly, feeling your face heat up, “Um… No? I kind of panicked and, uh, forgot to put some on.”
Jongin stood, holding out a hand. “Come on, you can borrow one of mine. You must be cold, right?”
You nodded, glancing at Baekhyun, who had a sympathetic smile on his face. You looked back to Jongin, and took his hand to stand up. He pulled you toward his room, trying to make you smile by telling you about his drunken escapades with Baekhyun and Taemin during karaoke. 
“Baekhyun almost got us kicked out while he was singing some Mamamoo song,” He said with a laugh, “You know how loud he gets.”
You smiled, giggling quietly as he opened a drawer, searching for something you could wear. After a few moments of fumbling around, he pulled out a pair of gray sweatpants, and shuffled towards you. 
“So,” You said, reaching for the fabric, “I’m guessing you and Taemin did your usual rendition of Fergali—”
The sound of a door opening across the hall interrupted you, one ear lifting as you turned your head. Taemin emerged, Lucas trailing behind him. Taemin had changed out of his pajamas and was now wearing some jeans and a t-shirt. Your eyes immediately met Lucas’s, but a second after, his eyes fell to Jongin, then the pair of pants you were reaching out for, then back to you. His gaze was hollow, unreadable, but his eyes still shone bright amber. Jongin tucked the fabric into your hands, and took a step away from you. He cleared his throat awkwardly.
“Hey, man, how are you doing?”
“Not really good, if I’m honest,” Lucas answered, practically glaring at the older man. You frowned at his tone. He was rarely this quiet.
“I did a quick check-up,” Taemin declared, “I don’t see any immediate risk, he seems to be safe for now.”
Your shoulders sagged, as you sighed in relief, tension leaving your body.
“But I’m still taking him to the lab,” Taemin said, eyes serious. “We never foresaw these... mutations. I need to run some tests and contact the team and the other test subjects. Y/N, you can stay here if you want, I don’t think Jongin and Baek hyung would mind—” 
“Head home, Y/N,” Lucas interjected, deep voice serious and clipped. He kept shifting his eyes in between you and Jongin. “I woke you up, you should go get some more sleep.”
The deep authority in his voice startled you. A small thought crossed your mind, submit, obey, and you realized that these were your rabbit instincts kicking in as it registered a predator in your midst. And that only happened when predator hybrids used a specific tone of speech, one used only to take command over a situation with other hybrids. It was a bit hard to disobey, but not impossible. With a chill, you realized he was probably doing this subconsciously. 
This wasn’t how things were supposed to work, not with Lucas. Yes, Lucas had become this thing that you’d been told to fear, but it wasn’t necessarily him. You blinked, looking at Jongin, then at Taemin. You realized that Taemin and Jongin were staring at each other awkwardly, before looking at Lucas again. Despite your sleepy state, you knew your anxiety wouldn’t let you rest. And to be frank, you didn’t want to be alone after what had happened. “I could wait for you here, Xuxi, and then we could head back home together—”
“I can drop him off at your place!” Taemin said, an awkward smile plastered on his face. “It’s no problem, you should head on home…” You furrowed your eyebrows, before nodding slowly at having your actions countered.
“Huh,” You answered slowly, remembering all of the times Taemin had gotten pissy about giving you and Lucas a ride home (gas money, he complained), even though his apartment wasn’t that far from yours, “Okay…? I’ll head home in a little bit. You guys be careful.”
Lucas nodded, face not changing. He was upset, you could tell, but he was completely justified, given everything that he’d been through. You didn’t appreciate him taking it out on everyone around him, though. 
“Yukhei, let’s go.” Taemin seemed all too eager to drag Lucas away, and you watched, bewildered at the strange shift in energy between the three men. You’d known Jongin and Taemin since your freshman year of college, and Lucas since junior year of high school. Never had you seen the three of them act like this.
You turned to Jongin once you heard the front door close. He was shifting back and forth awkwardly. “That was… weird.”
“Well,” He said, scratching at the back of his neck, “This whole morning has been a bit weird, don’t you think?”
You gave a sardonic smile, trying to figure out how to explain your thoughts. “I mean, yeah, but… I don’t know. Regardless of that, everything just seemed off between the three of you.”
Jongin’s eyes met yours. He looked a bit taken aback.
“You can’t be serious.”
You shook your head. “What?”
Jongin’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh my god,” He muttered, more to himself, “You really don’t know.”
“Jongin, what?”
“Yukhei likes you,” Jongin confessed, rubbing at his chin, “He has for years.”
Your ears shoot straight up, eyes widening. Immediately your face heated up, and your free hand shot upwards, waving them back and forth.
"What? Huh? No. No, no, no. We’re just—" 
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” He countered, “You’re friends. But he wants to be more. He’s told me so, several times.”
When you didn’t answer, he walked around you to sit on his bed. He sighed, looking upwards as he gathered his thoughts, trying to figure out what to say. 
“Y/N, you’re smart. And you’re an independent person, and you value that because of how some people still treat hybrids. Especially prey hybrids. I know that. You know  that. Yukhei knows that. But…” He sighed again, shaking his head.
“You don’t see the way he looks at you when you’re not looking. He… he looks at you like you’re the only person in the world, or like you invented pizza, or something. And right now, his behavior…”
He groaned in exasperation, and you raised an eyebrow. “What?”  
“I don’t know how to put it other way than territorial,” He grumbled with a frown, “The way he was acting was like that look, but more aimed at me. Like, she’s the only one I see, don’t look at her the way I do. And I’m no expert on hybrid behavior, but…”
You didn’t know what to think, but you completed his thought anyway. 
“...You think Lucas was acting possessive.”
“I don’t think, I know,” He said, “He seemed really standoffish, and you should be careful. Not because he’s dangerous—this is Yukhei we’re talking about—but because it might strain your friendship.”
You remained silent for a few seconds, absorbing everything he’d told you. 
You didn’t want to believe him. 
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You went home not much later, trying to process everything you’d seen and heard that morning in the silence of the car as you drove through traffic, still pantsless. You didn’t feel comfortable accepting Jongin’s pants after everything he’d pointed out in Lucas’s behavior.
Lucas, your mind continued to think, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas.
You’d known Lucas for so long at this point, he’d always just been your best friend. You’d never really wanted anything else from him.
You knew people had been expecting the two of you to get together for years. Your friends had told you, your family had told you, and now, his friends had told you that there was something going on between you and him. And every time, you’d been adamant to deny it. No, he’s like my brother. No, he’s my best friend. No, I don’t see him that way. No, he’s seeing someone. No, I don’t have time for a relationship, anyway. 
Lucas was attractive, you knew that. You had eyes. You had ears. Regardless of his looks, he was effortlessly charming and funny, and that would make anyone attractive. You saw how people swooned and fawned over him, despite him rarely being interested. But he’d always just been your best friend, the one who supported you through everything and made you laugh on your darkest days. And from living with him for the past few years, you considered it a bit awkward to be attracted to someone after seeing them scratch their ass as nonchalantly as possible in front of you as he had. 
That was until this morning, when he’d spoken using that tone of voice. You still weren’t sure how to feel about that. It gave you the chills, but... not in the way you’d expected. Something instinctual had begged you to submit to him. That didn’t usually happen to you when you heard other hybrids used that tone. Usually, you would feel a small tug in your gut, maybe a small flutter of anxiousness, but most of the time all it achieved was a roll of your eyes. But not with him. Not with Lucas.
You thought about it the entire way home. You thought about it on the way up to your apartment. You thought about it as you crawled into your bed, closed your eyes, and finally allowed your mind to be at peace once more. You slept until noon, then made yourself some lunch, showered, and worked on a few assignments you had for your classes.
Lucas came home several hours later, just before 7 PM. He no longer seemed as tense as this morning, but tired, instead. You didn’t blame him. His eyes had faded back to their warm, welcoming shade of brown, which didn’t surprise you. Wolf hybrids’ eyes tended to glow like that whenever they were on edge about something.
“How are you doing?” You asked, as he sat down on the couch. “Is everything alright?”
Slowly, you sat down next to him, wondering if he’d still be snappy as he had this morning. His neck turned to look down at you, and with a deep sigh, he nodded. 
“Medically, I’m sound. They still need to run a few tests, to see if this is something permanent, or not. I’ve been ordered to stop taking the pills, for now.”
You nodded, giving him a small smile out of relief. 
“Thank god,” You murmured, “I was worried about that. But how are you doing?”
He swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing as he did so. He shrugged, pursing his lips. His body shifted towards you, and before you knew it, he’d tackled you into a hug, burying his face into your neck. He seemed to be holding back tears again, and your eyes fluttered shut as he spoke again. “Honestly? I don’t know,” He said, voice small and muffled against your skin, “Things like this are so… different. I found out several things have changed basically overnight.”
“Like what?” Your arms came to wrap around him, trying to calm him down.
“Fuck, I don’t even know. Like, I can smell so much more, now. I can see in the dark, apparently? I can hear so much, Y/N. I’ve been poked and prodded all day and no one knows if this is gonna go away and I’m just… I’m scared.”
He shook his head, shifting to bury his head again, but this time into the other side of your neck. Your hand began to comb through his hair, trying to avoid touching the furry ears that now resided atop his head.
You shook your head, humming. You rested your chin against his shoulder, nuzzling into his form, and his large hands rose to your waist, arms wrapping around it. You looked down when you saw vague movement from below your gaze, and smiled to yourself when you saw Yukhei's tale wagging with contentment. 
“Everything will work out fine, Yukhei,” You whispered, “What matters now is that you’re safe, you’re healthy. You’re so strong, Xuxi. Whatever life throws at you, even if it knocks you down, you always get up with that big smile of yours and keep going.”
He nodded against your neck, cuddling even closer to you. “Thank you,” He answered, before pulling his head away. His eyebrows were furrowed, dark eyes peering into yours from above you. 
“This morning,” He mumbled, “When you were in Jongin hyung’s room. I said something. And I don’t know what it was but it felt…” 
You forced your face to remain blank and expressionless, and broke eye contact, trying to gather your words. God, you didn’t know what to tell him. “Oh… Yeah. That’s sort of a, uh, special tone more dominant predator hybrids use. I don’t really know how to explain it. I’m sure there’s some scientific term, but uh… yeah.”
“Oh.” He pulled away from you slowly, resting against the couch. You nodded awkwardly. 
“I don’t hate you,” You said suddenly. “This morning, in the bathroom, you didn’t want to let me look at you because you thought I’d hate you… I don’t. I could never.”
He smiled, but didn’t meet your eyes. “We don’t have to make this awkward, do we? I don’t feel any different just because of… this. You’re still my best friend, Y/N.”
You nodded, smiling. “Why should it be awkward? I don't think this will change anything, Xuxi.”
Finally, he looked at you, and your eyes found his. His smile grew, and yours did as well. 
“I’m gonna go to bed,” He said moments later, as his hand rose to rub at his neck, “I’m insanely tired.”
“Good night, Xuxi,” You told him as he stood.
 “Good night, bunny.”
When he walked into his room without another word, you watched as he did so, closing the door to his room, right across the hall from yours. You rubbed at a kink in your neck, inhaling deeply as you did so. 
A few moments later, you stopped, eyebrows furrowing. You frowned, ears perking up ever so slightly as something gained your attention. You sniffled once, twice, three times.
Usually, you couldn’t perceive your own hybrid scent unless you consciously thought of it, kind of like when a person thinks of breathing and starts doing it manually rather than automatically. But now, you couldn’t do it. 
Instead, only the scent that you’d registered this morning as Lucas’s remained in its place. Your breath hitched as you realized that Lucas, in hugging you and burying his face in your neck, had scented you. 
There’s no way he did that on purpose… right?
Did Lucas even know about scenting? Was he even aware that it was a courting gesture between hybrids, and a way to tell other hybrids to back off?
Your mind drifted back to what Jongin had said this morning, and you sighed as you once again contemplated the situation. Within a day, both your life and Lucas’s had made a turn for the stranger, and no one knew whether this would be permanent or not.
Shaking your head to yourself, you stood, making your way to your room. This is only awkward if I make it awkward. Lucas doesn’t know hybrid behavior very well because up until this morning, he wasn’t one. Y/N L/N, you’re not going to make this awkward. This isn’t about you being ‘uncomfortable’, this is about Lucas’s wellbeing. You’re not going to make this awkward, you’re not going to make this awkward!
When you reached your door, you took one last glance at Lucas’s door, deciding that you would do your best to help him, for his sake.  
It couldn’t get that awkward, right? Especially not if you tried your best to make it as such. The both of you could continue living as if nothing had changed, right?
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Wrong. 
The next few days, it was almost as if the conversation you’d had that night had never happened, but not for your lack of trying. The next morning when you emerged from your bedroom, you found that Lucas was already gone, probably off to class. You shrugged it off, but still found it kind of strange.
When you got home from your classes and studying at the library, he was in the kitchen, eating a sandwich, and you greeted him, and he answered with a vague “hello”, not really paying you much attention. You thought it was strange, but chalked it up to him probably being tired. 
Then it happened the next day, and the day after that, and the next day, and the next, and the next. And almost overnight, you had no idea who this person who had replaced your best friend was. You felt hurt, trying your best to speak to him when you returned to your apartment. He wouldn’t budge, and you’d back off before you pissed him off too much. 
He didn’t look at you the same way he once did. It was like all of the warmth and happiness from his eyes had been sucked out of them, leaving a winter that rivaled the north pole. You couldn’t recall the last time he’d laughed around you.
You missed Lucas. You really did, and the worst thing was that you couldn’t tell if he felt the same thing. You didn’t want to confront him, telling yourself he was going through a tough time. You could tell it frustrated him, having this new tail twitch and to knock something over, the augmented senses distorting and amplifying everything around him. 
He confessed about three weeks, in a clipped tone, that Taemin couldn’t be sure if it was permanent or not. Nothing like this had ever happened to anyone before. There was no way test designed for this situation, and Taemin would have to design a safe way to test it. Which meant time, money, and patience. Two of which, those being money and patience, Lucas had never had much of. 
“Oh, Xuxi,” You’d sighed when he told him, “I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t have to be.” He set down the textbook he’d been holding onto the table. “You didn’t do it.”
You stepped forward, and he stepped back, almost immediately as you had. You frowned. “Please don’t do that,” You mumbled, now kind of angry. 
“Do what,” He sighed, as if the conversation was exhausting.
“Don’t pretend you don’t know.” You were glaring at him now. “You’ve been avoiding me like the goddamn plague.”
“And what if I am?” He asked, turning to face you. The ears on his head twitched restlessly, and his eyes were burning with what seemed to be contempt. “What if I can’t stand to be around you anymore?”
Your eyes widened, taken aback. After weeks of him not giving you the time of day, for him to say that was too much for you to take sitting down. You scoffed angrily, tapping your foot anxiously. “Excuse me? Where is this coming from?”
He stood up straight, and somewhere in your mind, a little alarm went off in your head at the sheer size of him. He always slouched, just a little. To see him like this, especially now that he’d grown so much, was jarring.
“You heard me,” He said in a tone you could only describe as threatening, taking a step towards you, and this time, you took a step back. “I can't stand being around you anymore. I can’t stand your face, or your voice, or your scent, or your voice. You get on my nerves, and sometimes I swear, I just wanna...”
He didn’t finish.
You shook your head, laughing humorlessly, despite the fact that your heart was cracking with every passing second. You didn’t know this person. Sadness and anger swirled in your chest, creating a mixture that made you grit your teeth. 
You weren’t backing down from this, not after giving him space to himself only to turn around and tell you this. You took a step forward, crossing your arms. “Um, why? What did I ever do or say?” 
He didn’t answer, fully scowling now. His eyes studied your face, but after a few moments, it dropped lower. You realized almost immediately he was looking at your neck. You swallowed nervously, forcing yourself to not look away when he met your eyes again. 
Still, no answer, and you groaned, causing him to snap out of his strange reverie. “Fine. Don’t fucking tell me. See if I care, Yukhei.”
You stepped away from him one last time, walking towards your room. 
“I don’t owe you a fucking explanation, you know! I don’t owe you shit!” He yelled, and you jumped at his sudden burst of anger. You turned, incredulous. Even he seemed to be shocked by the volume of his voice, wolf ears pressed against his head, like a puppy who’d just gotten chastised.
“And I don’t need you yelling at me! Just because you hate me doesn’t give you the right to treat me like shit!” You answered desperately, just as loud. You hated the way that your voice cracked towards the end of your tirade, eyes welling with tears and throat closing up. You blinked the tears back furiously, taking one final look at the increasingly sad look on his face before slamming your bedroom door behind you. 
Finally alone, you took a few deep breaths, trying to think over what had just happened. 
You’d known Yukhei for years. Never once had he raised his voice at you or anyone else. And here he’d just exploded at you, telling you that he couldn’t stand you or the things that made you, well, you.
You sat on your bed, body numb, as the tears began to flow freely. But you couldn’t bring yourself to make noise. You couldn’t bring yourself to curl up sob into your pillow . You knew that he would most likely be able to hear you if you did, and you didn’t want to give him that satisfaction. 
Instead, you laid back, trying your hardest to control your breathing, and fell asleep like that, with the tears falling into your hair, eyeliner and mascara streaking along your skin, feeling utterly destroyed.
After that, you felt yourself giving him an even wider berth than before. You didn’t speak to him unless you absolutely needed to, like when you couldn’t reach the sugar that had suspiciously ended up on the highest shelf, (even though you were the only one to use it) and needed him to hand it to you.
If you walked into the living room and he also happened to be in there, you two would meet eyes briefly, before you walked away. His gaze was never cold, but rather emotionless. Indifferent, bordering on unreadable. It still hurt to see. The only thing that could describe the mood of the apartment was tense. You quickly learned to hate living in such a suffocating environment.
The only "good" thing was that finals were right around the corner, so you were able to distract yourself from the whole situation and pour all of your concentration into studying into the wee hours of the morning. 
But that only lasted for so long.
Taemin had mentioned a heightened libido as a side effect of the treatment. As far as you could tell, Yukhei didn't give off any signs of that. It didn’t even make sense, considering he’d stopped taking the pills ever since the mutation had occurred.
However, for some reason, the universe decided that it wanted to cause you trouble on purpose. 
You came home one day to strange noises coming from Yukhei's bedroom. And when you got closer, it didn't take much for you to realize what was going on between him and whoever he'd brought home. Deep groans, high pitched moaning, and the undeniable sound of skin slapping against skin. Even worse, the smell. It smelled like sex, and sweat, and Yukhei. 
Maybe if you'd been human, you wouldn't have smelled it. But alas, you weren't, and so your heightened sense of smell painted a picture you didn't want to see. Of Yukhei and some stranger, him on top of her, fucking brutally into her.
"Yes, fuck, right there!" 
You damn near jumped out of your skin, then immediately cringing because… well. How could you describe the nasty feeling building suddenly in the pit of your stomach? It wasn't disgust. It wasn't… no. It couldn't be jealousy. Could it have been a mix of the two? 
You couldn't be sure.
And that was only the first time it'd happened. Soon enough, it was happening two or three times a week.
You suddenly started spending more time away from the apartment. Be it at the library, at the café right off campus, at your best friend Mark's apartment. 
But at night, you were on your own, having to listen to Yukhei plow a seemingly endless array of girls into his mattress while you were either studying or trying to sleep. 
Your girlfriends still lived at the college dorms, and there wouldn't be enough space for you there. You didn't want to impose on Mark, since you were already spending most of your day with him and he shared his apartment with four other guys. You certainly didn't want to ask to sleep over at Taemin's, not after what Jongin had told you.
You were more or less trapped in your apartment past nine PM. You wondered if this was how Fiona felt in the first Shrek film when she couldn't go outside at night.
Yukhei was loud, you came to learn. He groaned, he grunted, he growled. He had a filthy vocabulary and, if you were to go by what the girl he'd brought home past Thursday said, leaving out all the gory details, he was very… well endowed. 
You still weren't quite sure how to feel about constantly having to hear him from across the hall. You weren't judging him, not at all. It was none of your business, and as he'd so rudely put it, he didn't owe you an explanation.
But with exams rolling around, and stress starting to build up, you were disappointed, but not surprised to realize that your sexual frustration was doing the same. And Yukhei, with his pretty face, broad shoulders, foul mouth and maddening scent, was not doing you any favors by practically acting out porn across the hallway. 
Even worse? Mating season was approaching. 
The actual duration of heats and ruts for all hybrids varied, but a grand majority of hybrids went through them during the first few weeks of winter, regardless of whether they were predators or prey. 
So while it pained you to say it, Yukhei’s across the hall antics were not doing you any favors. You found yourself lying awake on a Saturday at one in the morning, after a particularly rough Friday. Meanwhile he was with yet another girl, listening to him dirty talk her to high heaven. You had your eyes closed, trying to sleep in the dark of your bedroom, but it wasn’t easy given what was going on.
If you hadn’t been in a sleep deprived delirium, you wouldn’t have allowed your mind to drift to Yukhei, or to focus on the vulgar words he was saying. His words were muffled by the walls, but it was still pretty easy for you to hear them, ears perking up as you did.
“Yeah, baby, you love my cock, don’t you?”
If you hadn’t been so tired, you would have put in some headphones and listened to some soft music until you were able to fall asleep, instead of letting your breath hitch while your sleepy mind conjured an image of a sweaty Yukhei on top of you, doing to you what he’d been doing to the entire campus.
“So fucking tight around me…”
And you definitely wouldn’t have stuck your hand down your pants, with one hand, covering your mouth with the other. But you did, imagining that it was Yukhei’s fingers and not yours pinching at your clit, teasing around your slit, feeling yourself get wet with every passing second. Hard to do, considering Yukhei’s fingers were so much longer than yours were, and you clenched around nothing at the thought of his pretty hands and how deep they could reach inside of you.
You opened your legs a little more, eyes fluttering shut as your index finger delved inside of you, stifling a quiet moan. Even in your sleepy haze your mind told you not to be too loud, because you knew that Yukhei could end up hearing it, and you didn’t want to seem like a creep after everything that had already happened. Slowly, you built up to a speed that you felt went well with the sound of skin against skin.
“Fuck, baby, you gonna come soon? I’m so close...”
Your breathing turned heavy, and suddenly the sheets were too hot, kicking them off of you before adding in a second finger, relishing in the stretch and the way your palm rubbed against your clit in a deliciously frustrating way. You hesitated briefly before adding a third finger, searching desperately for a spot that would cause you to see stars before they cramped up too bad.
When you did manage to find it, your body curled in on itself, biting down on your lip to stop yourself from making any noise. So embarrassingly fast, you felt yourself nearing climax, listening as the moans and groans escalated in pitch and in volume. You pulled your other hand away from your mouth to rub at your clit, and your eyebrows furrowed, mouth tipping open in silent moans. You prayed to whatever cosmic force that ruled over the universe in hopes that you wouldn’t make too much noise.
“Shit, shit, I’m c-coming, baby…” You heard him say, before switching to Cantonese to swear, and with that, your orgasm came crashing against you.
Your toes curled, your eyes squeezed shut, and before you could bury your head in your pillow, you squeaked out the softest possible whine, “Yukhei…”
When you came back down, you were quick to fall asleep, ignoring the stickiness in your panties or the smell of sweat permeating your room, too tired to bring yourself to care. 
You didn’t hear the shuffling of feet as Yukhei kicked this girl out of the apartment, too on edge after having heard your whimpering.
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After that, Yukhei didn’t bring home any other girls, and you brushed it off as him needing to concentrate for finals. The coming weeks were filled with all nighters, cups of coffee, tears and desperation as you somehow managed to pass all of your classes.
 You and Yukhei continued to practically tiptoe around each other, still not speaking. Now, however, it was more due to a lack of time than anger geared towards each other. Yes, you could still sense animosity when you crossed paths but it was getting… strange. While he almost never spoke, Yukhei’s wide eyes seemed to follow you whenever you passed him.
Now, the apartment had turned silent, rather than tense. You felt like you should anticipate something but you weren’t sure what. Many times, you could feel Yukhei before you saw him, and while before, at the apartment he tended to avoid you like a criminal dodging the law, now you always felt him close, his scent never far from where you were. On campus, you didn’t have that problem, rarely seeing him due to your different majors. But at home, it seemed like you could rarely hide from him. 
Finally, winter break was so close to rolling around, and all you needed to do was take two more exams, and hand in one final paper. Then you were free, and all you needed to do was call up your… friend, Doyoung.
You used the term “friend” very, very loosely. 
Doyoung was the only other rabbit hybrid you trusted enough to spend your heats with, and you really only spoke to him during this time of year. He was kind and soft spoken, and attentive to your needs when you were in heat despite him also being affected by his own rut. He was also insanely good in bed, and not too bad on the eyes either.
He enjoyed your arrangement, and wasn’t looking for anything serious, which you appreciated. This would have been your third heat spent with him.
You called him a week before your heat was due to start, and he swung by your apartment for a quick visit to discuss where you would go, how long your doctor had told you it would last, and generally to just catch up with each other.
Yukhei was out, probably studying with Mark or something. All you knew was that he was out. 
Doyoung was cute. Really cute. His ears, white with black tips were generally stood at attention. His broad shoulders and gummy smile were too much, and even though it was a week before your heat was supposed to start you kind of had to resist jumping his bones when you let him inside. 
You managed, somehow, and he sat down next to you at your small dinner table. 
“So, how’s Lucas?” He asked once all of the details were worked out. You were going to stay at his apartment for the following week.
You pursed your lips, sighing. “He’s, uh… It’s complicated.”
He shook his head, a nervous smile gracing his face.
“What do you mean it’s complicated?”
You shrugged, letting your eyes flutter shut. “It’s a long story.”
“So? Tell it,” He said, ears twitching, “I’ve got all day.”
So you did. From the treatment, to the mutation, to what Jongin had said, to the shift in his behavior, to the argument, to him bringing random girls home, even including the bit about you masturbating to him that one time. You didn’t spare the details, given that you’d probably had more sex with Doyoung within the span of both of your heats than you’d ever had with all of your previous partners combined. There was no point in being vague.
You worried you might be airing out you and Yukhei’s dirty laundry, but continued anyway. Doyoung was a good guy. He wasn’t going to blab to anyone about it. During your whole tirade, he remained emotionless, nodding along to show he was still listening to you. When you finished, he took a deep breath, ears falling against his head. He blinked a few times.
“Phew,” He whistled, “That’s… a lot. Sounds like he’s going through a tough time.”
You nodded, staring at your hands on your lap. “I know. I want to help him but I’m scared he’s gonna yell at me again and I don’t want to have to push him away even more. I miss him, Doie. I miss my best friend.”
Doyoung offered a sympathetic smile, patting you on the back. “Can I be honest?” His voice was soft, not demanding. You, always appreciative of his candor, nodded. 
“I don’t think you just miss your best friend, Y/N.”
Your head snapped upward to meet his gaze, sympathetic smile still there as he continued to rub up and down your back, now slower.
“No goddamn way,” You denied vehemently, shaking your head, “I don’t like him.”
“You’re right,” Doyoung answered, “You don’t like Yukhei. You’re in love with him.”
You spluttered, looking away as you felt your face heat up. “Y-you can’t really mean that, Doyoung. He’s like—"
“Yeah, yeah, your brother. You’ve told everyone and their mother that. But has it ever occurred to you that when you say that, it's just you trying to convince yourself? I see the way you look at him when I come to pick you up before your heats and you say goodbye to him. Your eyes just light up, and you smile like you’re the happiest you’ve ever been.”
“Well, because he makes me happy, he’s my—”
“Veggie lover’s pizza makes you happy, and I don’t see you smiling at it like it invented modern wi-fi. Yukhei? Y/N, he makes you happy happy. As in, if you were an actual bunny and not 25% bunny, you would be doing binkies around him.”
You gasped. “I would not—!”
“Would too,” He retorted, laughing slightly at your antics, “I swear, the way you talk about him—"
He would have continued, but was interrupted by the sound of the key clicking the apartment door open. Quickly, both of your heads turned to watch as Yukhei entered the apartment, eyes immediately trained on Doyoung. His expression was unreadable, but at the end of the day, both you and Doyoung, prey hybrids till the bitter end, could smell the tension that permeated his signature scent. You exchanged glances with the black haired man, and noted that his ears were standing at attention, just like yours.
 “Uh, hey, man,” Doyoung said with his iconic awkward smile, adding an awkward wave as well, “...Long time no see.” 
Yukhei remained silent for a moment as he took off his jacket, eyes still not leaving the other man. “Hello, Doyoung hyung. How have you been?” His voice was monotone, no discernible emotion in it, and you felt like you wanted the earth to swallow you then and there.
“Uhh…” Doyoung side-eyed you for the briefest second, your eyes flashing between him and Yukhei incessantly. Suddenly, you were on edge, and you knew that it was all because of the six foot tall nuisance that had just interrupted your moment with Doyoung.
“I’m... good. I was actually just about to, uh, head home,” He mumbled, and you furrowed your eyebrows as you turned to look at him, kind of taken aback. He was already getting off the couch, making sure he had everything.
You raised a tentative hand. “Hey, Doyoung—”
“Like I told you earlier, I need to go, uh… feed Jeno’s cat since he’s still out of town.”
“Uh,” You blinked, gaping like a fish, remembering the fact that you’d bumped into Jeno at the convenience store earlier today, “Take care, I guess?”
And then, quickly as Yukhei had come, Doyoung had gone, eyeing the wolf hybrid like he was about to get strangled.
When it was just the two of you, your eyes turned to look at Yukhei, and you huffed, before getting up and walking to your room. You closed your door, picking up your phone as you sat at your desk. 
doyoungie: your roommate is insane 
doyoungie: did you see the way he was looking at me? his scent was also super intimidating, y/n
doyoungie: i cant help you out, i dont feel comfortable given everything going on between the two of u
doyoungie: im really sorry y/n 
doyoungie: please be careful around him
You saw red. You chucked the phone onto your bed, too angry and upset to answer Doyoung in that moment.
Everything going on between you and Yukhei had ruined everything these past months, but this was the icing on the cake. If Doyoung wouldn’t help you, you couldn’t go over to his apartment during your heat. If you couldn’t spend your heat at Doyoung’s apartment, you would have to spend it in the apartment, with Yukhei across the hall. And if Yukhei, a predator hybrid, turned out to go into rut at the same time you, a prey hybrid, went into heat… well. 
It wasn’t even a matter of whether you would end up sleeping with him at one point or not. It was the principle of the thing. Yukhei brought home several girls to fuck and you had turned a blind eye. But god forbid you make plans to fuck someone in your own home. No, no, that was heresy. Highest treason in the land.
You slammed your door open, crossing the hall to stomp into Yukhei’s room. You ripped his door open, seething with anger. He turned in surprise, eyebrows furrowed. “Y/N, what—”
“Fuck you, Wong Yukhei,” You spat, getting straight to the point. He opened his mouth to speak, eyebrows turned downwards as he observed your angry frame. But you didn’t let him. 
“How fucking dare you. I said jack shit when you brought home all of those girls. But no, every single time I get close to another guy you put on a pissy face and puff out your chest and scare them away. What gives you the fucking right?”
He scoffed, then gave a humorless laugh. “It’s not my fault your prey hybrid boy toy can’t handle being looked at for more than five seconds.”
Your mouth fell open, glaring at him. You couldn’t believe the way he’d said the words ‘prey hybrid’ like it was something shameful. “What, do you have a problem with us prey hybrids now, or...?”
“Please,” He growled, “You’re always the one who was so willing to push predator hybrids away.”
“You of all people should know why.”
He took a step towards you, eyes meeting yours before looking at the floor. “Of course I did. And that’s why I pushed you away.”
You stared at him, incredulous at his sudden quietness. “No. Don’t you dare spin this as some little ‘woe is me’ sob story. You ghosted me. You treated me like I was trash. Maybe you didn’t want to worry me with this whole thing, which is more on par with the Lucas I know. But my Lucas, my Xuxi, would never have taken it that far.”
“Did it ever occur to you that your stupid little Xuxi isn’t coming back!?” He yelled suddenly, and your eyes widened at his display of anger. He took notice and took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, and lowered his voice. 
 Y/N, this entire thing,” He huffed, gesturing to his ears and tail, which was now swishing back and forth restlessly, “It changed me too much."
"Yukhei…"
"You think I didn't want to keep being your Xuxi? T-that I didn't want to pretend that everything was normal and keep patting your head and hugging you in the morning and calling you bunny?" 
Your demeanor faltered, and your heart sank. This wasn't how you wanted this conversation to go.
"Yukhei."
He stepped closer, and you swallowed at his sudden proximity. "I feel this… need. Inside of me. Almost all of the time, but it's strongest when you're close to me. And I don't know what it is, but every time I look at you, I want to…"
"Yukhei," you mumbled dizzily as he took another step forward, basically forcing you up against the wall. You could feel his breath on your skin as he peered down at you, eyes melancholy. He looked lonely. You felt lonely.
"I want to… God, let me kiss you."
Your breath left your body, and before you could give it a second thought, you were tilting your head, eyes falling shut as he pressed his lips to yours.
Immediately, you stood on the tips of your toes to meet him easier, and his hands cupped your face before moving to your back, and then finally splaying possessively around your waist. 
The kiss was urgent, desperate; Yukhei kissed you as if he were dying and you felt the need to match his desperation. As your lips locked against each other's, Yukhei's body stepped closer to yours, his torso now pressed against yours. Your arms rose to his broad shoulders, wrapping around his neck, releasing a whimper when he pressed his tongue into your mouth.
Your stomach lurched when he used his thigh to separate yours, hands trailing down to grasp at your thighs. He pulled away from your lips, trailing to your jaw, and you whimpered, hands combing through his hair. Lower his mouth went, planting open mouthed kisses along your neck, and you felt a fire in your stomach, readying you to submit to him.
Submit?
Your eyes shot open, and your heart dropped, and as you realized what he had said, how he had said it, you were pushing him off of you. He stumbled back, chest heaving, eyes scared, lips swollen and pink. He seemed to have realized what he’d done. “Y/N, I didn’t mean t—”
“No.” You couldn’t look him in the eye, clenching your jaw. “I came here to say that I was tired of being treated like your property when all I’ve ever been is your friend. You turned it around and used that tone with me and you used it to kiss me. I-I can’t, Yukhei. Why would you even—”
“Because I’m in love with you.”
Your eyes widened as you met his, and you slumped against the wall, inhaling sharply. You opened your mouth to speak, but no words came out. He took this as his cue to continue, eyes pleading and apologetic as he leaned against his desk, giving you the space you suddenly needed.
“That’s no excuse, I know that. It’s literally the worst possible excuse I could give you. I don’t know how to control this thing yet and I’m… Y/N, I’m scared that I’ll hurt you with my words or all of this strength I now have combined with instincts I don’t understand and it terrifies me. And now, with this whole mating season thing coming I feel them even stronger and I...”
“Yukhei, you’re not making any sense,” You said, voice barely above a whisper. He looked up, eyes suddenly teary. 
“How can I make my thoughts make sense when you’re the only thing on my mind right now?”
You pursed your lips, eyes squeezing shut. Your stomach swirled and your mind was jumbled, unsure what to tell him. 
“Yukhei, what are your instincts even telling you?” 
He shook his head, expression agitated as he looked you up and down. Finally, his eyes landed on your neck, and he groaned, shoving his face into his hands. 
“I can’t hurt you, Y/N. I would never forgive myself if I did.”
Your breath hitched, heart rate beginning to pick up. “Yukhei, I need you to tell me what is going on with you. Then, we can call Taemin and he—he’ll figure something out.”
“I need to bite you. A-and you need to leave, so I can leave before I do something I regret.”
“Yukhei, hold on a second—”
“Y/N,” He growled, and you felt all of the hairs on your head stand straight up, animal instincts going haywire, “Leave.” 
Even if he hadn’t used that tone with you, you would have done so. And you did, bolting out of his room, quickly grabbing your phone from your room and then darting out of the apartment, out of the building and somewhere onto the street, legs shaking and heart broken.
You ran for several blocks, stopping once you felt comfortable, which just so happened to be in front of a cafe a few minutes from your apartment. You went in and ordered, sitting at a table in the window, staring blankly at the cup in front of you. You felt numb. Yukhei was making absolutely no sense, and your thoughts were too jumbled for you to try and decipher what he was trying to tell you. There was only one thing that you could make sense of.
Because I’m in love with you. 
God, you wanted to slam your head into the table, his words echoing in your head. He’d looked so candid, so vulnerable, so scared saying those six words, that it honestly kind of petrified you. After everything you’d thought about, everything you’d been told, and everything you’d said to each other, you were being forced with the truth, and you honestly weren’t sure if you could handle it.
Yes, you loved Yukhei. But what best friend doesn’t love their best friend? There was such a difference between loving and being in love, but in that moment you couldn’t be sure of any. 
Yukhei had always been there for you. He understood your boundaries, understood that you wanted to be an independent person, but wasn’t afraid to support you if he felt you needed it. Whenever you were sad, or frustrated, he was there. And vice versa. You understood that Yukhei, despite his intimidating looks, muscles and tall frame was just a gentle giant, sometimes not confrontational enough to stand up for himself. And yes, he was confident, but you knew that deep down he would always feel like he wasn’t good enough, just a little bit. And whenever that feeling became too heavy for him to carry, you’d be the one to pick him up and help him carry the weight.
Your mutual understanding of each other went so much more than just finishing each other’s sentences sometimes. With a simple movement, both of you could tell whether the other was upset, or excited, or angry. 
You sighed, taking another sip of your coffee.
Yukhei was kind, and he didn’t worry about what problems he might have in the future. He was funny, sometimes making you laugh till you cried because it was just an innate talent of his. And fuck’s sake, he was hot. And you… you, the worrisome, blunt hybrid who trailed behind him because he lit up your days, you were…
Oh my god. I’m in love with Yukhei.
You spluttered, immediately coughing as you choked on your coffee, attracting the attention of the people around you. It took you awhile, but you eventually managed to catch your breath, avoiding the questioning gazes of everyone around you. You were left with your head spinning, foot tapping anxiously. 
You needed to get back to the apartment.
You paid for the unfinished cup of coffee in a hassle, and ran back up the street as fast as your legs could carry you. You realized that all of the running you’d been doing meant your hair would be frizzy and you would smell like sweat once you got back, but you couldn’t care less.
 All you needed was to see him.
If you’d been able to talk him down from his own thoughts before, like that day in the bathroom and times before that, if you’d been able to get through to him before, it wouldn’t be that hard now, would it? You needed to know he was okay and that he knew that everything would work out in the end. 
You dashed onto your street, mind filled with only Yukhei and his wellbeing, for once being a bit reckless when it came to your own safety. Yes, he’d told you to leave. But that didn’t matter anymore, you thought as you rushed into the building and pulled yourself into the elevator. He was your only concern, now.
Your heart pounded as you stood in the elevator. Your leg never ceased its insistent tapping. Waiting, waiting, waiting for the doors to slide open. It took an eternity, but finally, you heard a ding! And when the doors opened, you bolted. You ran down the hall, reaching your door before you pulled out your key and unlocked the door, not thinking twice before swinging it open.
“Yukhei!?”
Your loud, breathless voice rang out through the apartment, but there was no response. As you caught your breath, you noted that the scent of cinnamon and earth was still there, but faint, as if Yukhei had vanished into thin air. Your heart sank.
“Yukhei?” You asked again, voice now quieter as you realized that he was probably gone. Your face fell, and part of you began to wonder why you even expected him to still be here.  
Walking towards his room, where the trace of his scent was strongest, you gnawed on the inside of your cheek, silently asking yourself where you would go from here. The vibration of your phone caught your attention, and you pulled it out of your pocket to see what the notification was. Your eyes softened at seeing Yukhei’s contact name grace your screen, but your gaze quickly turned gloomy when you saw how long his text was. That was never a good thing.
xuxi: Hey. I’m sorry about everything that just happened, and for scaring you like that. I’m gonna be staying at Taemin hyung’s until your heat passes. I don’t know how long that is, but I know it was supposed to start sometime next week? I want to keep distance from you until either hyung or I can understand what’s going on with me, and I don’t want to do or say anything that’s gonna damage our friendship. Please don’t worry about me, Y/N. I’m fine. Don’t think that I think you can’t be around other guys, because I don’t. I want you to be happy. And if you feel like you never want to see me once this is all over, then I’ll totally understand. I’ve been an asshole and I treated you horribly because I was acting selfishly. Take care.
You slumped against the wall, swallowing the growing lump in your throat. 
How on earth did everything get this messed up?
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The last few days before winter break were miserable. You spent the rest of that night after the argument with Yukhei crying out of frustration at the situation, falling asleep with puffy eyes and a runny nose. Eventually, however, you had to force yourself out of your pity party, because despite everything going on, you still had two exams to study for and a paper to turn in. 
Your paper was going to turn out mediocre, at best. You simply couldn’t put your heart into it despite the fact that it was 10% of your final grade for the semester. Thankfully, it was due Friday, and the first exam was on Monday and the other on Tuesday, leaving you a full three days to finish it, and you’d done pretty well in the subject all semester, so if you flubbed the paper, it wouldn’t be so bad. 
As for your exams, they weren’t your best, but you’d live. Exams this late were always hellish for you, because on top of all of the stress, your pre-heat symptoms were starting to set in. You felt tired, sluggish, and irritable. 
You thought of Yukhei almost all week during what little free time you got. You didn't see him on campus all week, but you knew from texting Taemin that he was still going. According to him, he wasn’t talking to anyone much. Not even Baekhyun could cheer him up, and Yukhei loved Baekhyun’s jokes.
You never responded to the long text Yukhei had sent you. You weren’t sure what to say, and after a certain amount of days had passed it just felt awkward to try and respond to him. 
Finally, Friday rolled around, and you strolled onto campus, ready to hand in your paper, go to your last few lectures, and then buy yourself some snacks to prepare to hole up in your apartment for a week during your heat. You wished you could just turn it in online, but this professor was probably as old as the university itself, and still preferred doing things the old fashioned way.
You sat down next to Mark right before your history lecture, about two hours before your paper was supposed to be turned in. 
“Hey, how have you been?” Mark asked, and you shrugged. 
“I’m pretty much over everything,” You sighed, “All I need is to turn in my paper to Wang and I’m out of here.”
“Can I see?” He asked. “Mine sucks and I wanted to compare.”
“Oh, yeah, sure,” You answered, turning to open your bag. You rummaged through it, looking between your notes, laptop, and old pieces of paper, before frowning. 
“No fucking way,” You muttered to yourself, looking through the contents of your bag again, now more frantic. 
“What? Do you not have it?”
“No,” You answered, turning to him, sounding desperate. “I think I left it on my desk this morning. God, I’m so stupid.”
“Why don’t you just go get it?” Mark said, tilting his head. “Your place isn’t that far.”
You eyed the professor, who was preparing his presentation before the class started, weighing your options.
“...You’re right. I’ll be back in like, half an hour.”
And so you set off, power walking back to your apartment, which was right off campus. When you got to your building, you stepped into the elevator and heard your phone ring. You looked at who was calling first, furrowing your eyebrows. Hesitantly, you picked up.
“Taem? What’s up?” You asked, looking through your bag for your keys.
“Hey, Y/N.” Taemin sounded anxious, and it didn’t do anything to dissipate your confusion. “I just wanted to let you know that Yukhei said he would be passing by the apartment to get some more clothes, but uh… I forgot to ask him what time, and now he isn’t answering my texts or my calls. He was acting kind of… weird this morning. He didn’t say anything to you, did he?”
You blinked, swallowing at the idea of seeing him again after not having said anything to each other. Suddenly, your heart seemed to be beating a lot faster than it had been a second ago. “Um. No. He didn’t. But um… thanks for letting me know. I’ll just be going—” 
“Wait, Y/N!”
“Taemin, what?”
“Have you ever heard of Tanaka’s Theory of Hybrid Compatibility?” He blurted, and you made a face, trying to figure out what he was talking about.
“...No?”
The elevator dinged, and you stepped out as he began to explain. 
“I was doing research after running some DNA tests on Yukhei, yesterday, to see if I would be able to gauge whether he’d be going into rut or not. This theory says that two hybrids of different animal types could trigger each other’s mating instincts—”
“Wait, wait, wait, I thought that wasn’t possible—”
“That’s what a lot of people thought, until Tanaka and her team published this study about a year ago. She did an experiment where she paired up hybrids of different animal types, and induced heat in only one of them, to see if it triggered rut or heat in the other hybrid. She concluded that it was possible, but only if the hybrids had already formed a deep emotional bond. Y/N, you and Yukhei…”
You stopped right outside of your apartment, dead in your tracks. “D—Taem. Do you think that could happen if…?”
You didn’t finish, and Taemin sighed. “Yeah,” He said, voice quiet. “I think he might be in the very early stages of rut. Please, please be careful, Y/N.”
You stared at the door, before sighing. “I will, Taemin. Thank you for calling me.”
You hung up, trying to absorb everything you’d just been told. Cautiously, you inserted the key into the lock, trying to be quiet. A chill rolled through your body as you stepped into the apartment. For some reason, it seemed so much more quiet than it usually was. You gulped. Hurriedly, with quiet footsteps, you approached your bedroom. You sighed in relief upon seeing the paper on your desk, and grabbed it, stuffing it carefully into your bag before turning to exit. 
“Hey.”
You shrieked in surprise, your skeleton nearly jumping out of your skin when you saw Yukhei in the doorway of his bedroom, staring intently at you. Immediately, you knew something was wrong. His eyes were wide like saucers, eyeing you up and down. His body seemed tense. His scent was overpowering. You scrunched your nose once it hit you.
“Y-Yukhei. What are you—Um, how have you been?”
“Oh, I’m fine,” He said, wide eyes never leaving you. You felt like he was studying you, and you squirmed underneath his gaze, “Just peachy. A little hot. What are you doing here?”
His sentences were quick and snippy, as if he were jumpy. You spluttered, gathering your thoughts.
“Oh,” You mumbled, “Um… I forgot my paper on my desk. I needed to come and get it.”
 The entire time, you never stopped looking at him. He seemed poised, ready to strike, looking for the moment he could catch you off guard. You swallowed, trying to step past him, “I need to turn this in later, so I’ll just…”
He grabbed your wrist before you could get out of his arms’ reach, cornering you against the wall. 
“I need to… talk to you,” He muttered, eyes trained on your face.
“Yukhei, you’re kind of freaking me out,” You answered, looking away from his face. Your own face was suddenly hot, animal instincts were screaming at his proximity, at his scent, begging you to either get away or pull him closer. Danger, one side of your brain whispered, while the other said, want.
“Just hear me out,” He answered, deep voice quiet and raspy. “I missed you this week. Missed my bunny.”
You looked away, unsure what to do. 
dangerdangerdangerdangerdanger
He lifted a hand to lift your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. You gasped, realizing that his eyes were a bright yellow. Had they always been that color or was it only now noticeable due to his proximity?
wantwantwantwantwantwant
“Y-Yukhei,” You mumbled again, panting as he brushed his lips against yours.
DANGERDANGERDANGERDANGER
In that moment, your animal instincts took over. What happened next happened in less than ten seconds, but felt like an eternity.
See, when rabbits feel threatened, they bite their attacker. You knew this. Yukhei knew this. So it should’ve been no surprise to either of you when you shifted your neck, quickly striking and giving his neck a harsh bite. Your animal instincts expected him to back off. But instead, he groaned loudly, pressing you even further into the wall, gripping your hips and pressing himself against you. You froze, feeling something hard press against your hip. 
“So you want to bite me too,” He growled, “But I want to bite you harder.”
WANTWANTWANTWANTWANT
You whimpered, as he, agonizingly slowly, pressed his mouth to your neck, baring his teeth. He tugged your head to the side, and you squeezed your eyes shut, waiting for the bite to come, almost welcoming it. 
But it never did. 
Instead, when you opened your eyes, you saw that Yukhei was trembling. 
“I can’t,” He whispered, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
You swallowed, realizing what was going on. 
“You won’t,” You answered, matching the tone of his voice. “Xuxi, wolves bite like this to mate, not to attack.”
“Huh?” His amber eyes studied your face, searching for anything other than the uncertainty etched upon it. 
“You’re not biting me to hurt me,” You said, stroking his cheek, “It’s because you wanna mark me as yours.”
“But you’re not mine,” He murmured, still trembling, “You don’t love me the way I love you.” 
You shook your head, head spinning as the heat on your face spread across your body at the sensation of his body against yours.
“Except I do.” Your voice was hoarse. “I love you, Lucas. I realize that now.”
You tilted your head back, revealing the expanse of your neck. He growled in approval as you did. “And I want to be yours, forever.”
He didn’t mark you then. Instead, he craned his neck to catch your lips with his. You cried out softly when he did, his hands coming down to lift one of your legs, wrapping it around his hip. 
“Jump,” He said into the kiss, and you did, without question. The feeling of uneasiness, of danger, melted away, leaving you only with want. He dragged you back to his room, tossing you onto his bed with ease. 
You whimpered as you let him go, now fully aware that you’d entered your heat, and you wouldn’t be satiated until he made you cum. You watched, as he stared down at you with a predatory gaze—go figure—pulling off the t-shirt he was wearing. He crawled on top of you, not saying a word before he kissed you again. 
Your hands roamed, tracing down his back and up your sides as he squeezed your thighs with his large hands, sliding up the skirt you were wearing. 
“Please don’t tease,” You whined between kisses, “N-need you.”
“My bunny needs me?” He asked, chest rumbling with pride, and you nodded. He tugged off your shirt, leaving you in only your bra and your skirt. He pressed a kiss to your neck, before inhaling deeply and groaning. 
“God, is this what you smell like when you’re in heat?” His voice was raspy, lustful; you felt punch drunk at the sound of it. “You smell fucking divine.” You nodded, reaching for the button on his jeans. You didn’t trust your voice.
“Bunny, you’re on the pill, right?” He asked suddenly, sounding a lot more sober than he had just a few seconds ago. Your eyes darted up to his face, noting his ears twitching nervously. You nodded. “Y-yeah, why?”
He pressed a kiss to your temple, before lowering his mouth to your ear. “Because as much as I want to pump you full of my pups right now, I know you probably don’t want that for us now.”
God, he was the human definition of whiplash. You straight up moaned at the idea, eyes squeezing shut as you pulled his pants down. “S-sounds good on paper. R-really good,” You declared, “But in practice… Not right now.”
He nodded, smiling softly. You realized he was wagging his tail, and you smiled gleefully. “Anything for my bunny.” 
Yukhei pressed another kiss to your temple, before pulling your skirt down, hands kneading at your newly exposed flesh. You lifted yourself off of the mattress to press wet kisses to his collarbone, ignoring the desperation beneath your skin. Still, your mind screamed.
WANTWANTWANTWANTWANTWANTWANT
“Xuxi,” You said, “Please hurry and fuck me already.”
“I don’t wanna wait either,” He admitted, grinning wolfishly. With not another word, he pulled your panties to the side, and slowly pressed a finger inside. 
Your breath hitched, feeling like when you scratch at an itch, but can’t find the exact spot. Content, but not yet satisfied. 
“You’re so wet,” He mumbled, “All of this is for me, right, Y/N?”
You nodded insistently, legs spreading further to allow him enough space. He was so big, nearly engulfing you as he hovered over you. And his fingers were so long, reaching far further than your fingers could when you pretended yours were his. 
“Lucas…” Your voice was high, breathless, “More, please.”
"So needy for me, hm?" Yukhei chuckled darkly, adding another finger. His smile grew when you tightened around him. "Tell me what you want, bunny." 
"Fuck," You groaned, "I want you to fuck me and make me yours. W-want to be stuffed and filled with your cum. Want y-your pups, wanna be yours."
His amber eyes glowed in admiration, peering down at you. "Fuck, that's a good girl." 
He tugged off your bra, but got a little too impatient when he got to your panties, and you gasped in surprise when you felt the seams snap. Your eyes darted to Lucas's hands, which were now holding the broken fabric with a smug look on his face.
"Oops."
You huffed, not caring about the underwear. Lifting yourself off of the mattress, you pulled him in for a kiss, and he responded with fervor. His tongue dipped into your mouth, swallowing your eager moans. In your eagerness, you reached into his underwear, wrapping your hand around his member. 
You gasped into the kiss, feeling how hard he was. Even without looking, eyes still shut as you focused mostly on kissing him, you could feel he was big. You wondered, momentarily, if he would even fit. Yukhei pulled away from you, lowering his eyes to watch your hand stroking him. You did as well, swallowing at the sight. He wasn’t too thick, but he was incredibly long. The tip was a pretty shade of red, precum leaking steadily out.
“You want me to fuck you?” He asked, mouth brushing against yours, panting slightly.
You nodded, canting your hips in an attempt to entice him. He pulled his fingers out of your pussy, brushing against your clit intentionally. You keened, looking up at him. 
“Yeah, baby,” You answered, pushing him away slightly, to turn around, and prop yourself onto your knees. He groaned at the sight of your wetness, one finger teasing at your hole. He came closer to you, and his free hand pulled you up. His chest was pressed against your back. He pressed a kiss to one of your shoulder blades, resting his head on his shoulder to speak to you.  
“One day, I’m gonna sit you down on my face and eat you until you forget your name. But right now, I can’t hold back anymore. Need to be inside of you.”
You nodded in agreement, bated as he gripped one of your hips, the other nudging you gently between the shoulder blades, so your face was buried between the pillows. You inhaled, whining lightly at how much it smelled like him, like Yukhei. 
“All mine,” He growled, sliding inside of you. He was met with no resistance, your walls sucking him in with no protest.
“Yours,” You agreed, rocking your hips lightly against his. He groaned loudly, gripping your hips tightly. 
“S-so tight,” He groaned, with a little laugh, “I can barely move.”
“Please, Xuxi,” You whined, voice muffled, “N-need it.”
His grip tightened, and he gave a hard thrust, to which you responded with a loud noise. He immediately set a brutal pace. He bent over, practically covering your body with his own. You could feel the heat radiating off of his body, his grunts and growls right into your ear.
Your hand reached behind you, trying to grab him in some way. He registered what you were trying to do, and reached out to take your hand in his. “Who’s making you feel this good, bunny?”
“Ah, you, Lucas,” You cried, and Yukhei pressed a kiss to the junction of your shoulder and neck. 
“You think Doyoung could fuck you this good, baby?”
Your stomach curled at his words, and you shook your head. “N-no,” You said, hips bucking back to meet his. “Don’t want him, want you.” 
“F-fuck, that’s my girl, you just wanna be mine, huh?”
You nodded, unable to answer at the pleasure coursing through your veins. Yukhei wasn’t satisfied by this, evident in the way he tugged on your hair and pulled your head up. You shrieked not only at the pleasure, but also how unexpected it was. Yukhei was always one to be gentle, but now, with the need he felt to fuck you until you were both satiated, all of his mercy went out the window. 
“Use your fucking words,” Yukhei snarled, hips never letting up. You whimpered, eyes closing.
This wasn’t Yukhei, or Lucas, or Xuxi. No, this was pure, unbridled, alpha wolf taking the reins. And in this moment, you wouldn’t have it any other way. 
“Y-yeah, I want you to make me yours,” You answered in a small, shaky voice.
“You wanna be my bitch, baby?”
“Fuck,” You moaned, pussy clenching at his question, “Please…”
“Please what, bunny?” The wolf asked, voice sickly sweet, and you bit your lip, trying not to cry out. “P-please make me your bitch, baby.”
He pressed a kiss to your shoulder again, letting go of your hair. You fell back onto the mattress, practically boneless; you couldn’t find it within you to hold yourself up. His hands found their way back to your hips, using them as leverage as he pounded into you.
“What my bitch wants, my bitch gets.”
His hips sped up, something you didn’t know was possible. You were vaguely aware of his headboard ramming into the wall, but you couldn’t care less. All you could care about was the growing pleasure bubbling in the pit of your stomach, which only boiled hotter when you reached between your legs to pinch at your clit.
Yukhei groaned at the same moment you did, relishing in the way your walls clenched at the sensation.
“How the fuck are you still so tight?” He said. You craned your neck to get a good look at him, chest tightening at the sight.
His tan skin glowed with sweat, eyes rolled up into his head, mouth open as he let loose grunts and groans, and his light brown hair was matted with sweat. The dark ears on his head were twitching furiously and his cheeks were flushed. You felt like you could have cum from the sight alone.
 Could have, because the awkward angle made your neck hurt, and it pained you to not be able to touch his skin or tug on his hair. 
Yukhei opened his eyes immediately when you muttered out a soft, “stop, stop,” his hips stopping much to his discomfort. He sighed in relief when he realized you just wanted to change your position. You whined softly in discomfort when his cock slipped out of you, shaky legs doing their best to maneuver into the position you wanted.
You flopped down onto your back in front of him, staring up at him. “Come on,” You said breathlessly, parting your legs, “You know what I want you to do.”
He exhaled, eyes scanning your sweaty body, taking in just how beautiful you looked beneath him. “Fuck, I love you so much,” He declared, settling in between your legs, slipping back into you with ease.
You took advantage of the position, wrapping your legs around his waist, trying to pull him closer. Your hands wrapped around him, reaching for his back. You dug your nails into the skin, and he huffed slightly at the pinch of pain.
He growled with pride when his eyes darted down to where you were connected. “Fuck, that’s so hot, bunny. You’re so fucking tiny.”
Your eyes followed his, and you whined when you realized that there was a bulge sticking out of your tummy. 
He immediately retook his rhythm, pounding away like there was no tomorrow, voice getting louder. It was still a bit far, but you could tell he was approaching his high, just like you. He was pressing wet kisses to your breasts, large hands groping them. Your head fell back, mind completely blank.  
“X-Xuxi, I’m c-close,” You mumbled, “Please touch me.”
He nodded, lifting off of one of your nipples to meet your eyes. “Shit, me too,” He agreed, voice shaky. His lips travelled to your neck, one hand travelling to your clit. You moaned loudly, throwing your head back to reveal more of the skin of your neck. 
“Gonna make you mine,” He growled, “Gonna fuck you full of my pups, show everyone who you belong to.”
His hips were losing their finesse, their rhythm, pace turning sloppy as his hand rubbed at your clit, hoping to make you cum.
“Yes, yes, yes,” You cried nonsensically, toes curling. “Make me yours, Lucas, ah, fuck, w-want it so bad!”
And then he sunk his teeth into your neck, and you tumbled over the edge, a lot harder than you ever expected it to be. You were drowning in a dizzying mix of pleasure and pain, vision blurring as your body writhed against Yukhei like a woman possessed. You cried out his name one final time, voice dying after you did. 
You heard him groan against you, hips grinding against you as he released inside of you. Your mind immediately realized what was going on as his cock swelled within your walls, eyes snapping open as the sheer size of his knot caused you to cry out. Whether that was from the burn of being stretched beyond your limits, or the satisfaction of stuffed with him. 
 You were wordless when you managed to come down, breathing heavily, his head resting on your collar bone. The need that had been itching inside of you had gone away, for now. Your mind cleared up, and you were suddenly very aware of the fact that Yukhei was naked, on top of you, and now the two of you were stuck together for god knows how long. The few words you had exchanged prior were under the influence of his rut and, subsequently, your heat, and even before that, an argument that led to you not speaking to each other for a week.
"So…" You muttered, voice hoarse.
"Uhh…" Lucas lifted his head, tired eyes meeting yours. They were back to brown. "I take this as an 'apology accepted'?" 
You rolled your eyes, swatting his arm playfully. "You're not completely out of the woods yet, asshole. You were a huge dick. But what matters now is that we're together, and I love you. We can work the rest out later."
Yukhei's hand brushed a stray hair out of your face, smiling softly at you. "I don't deserve you," He murmured, "But I promise I'll do my best to treat you like a queen." 
You pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "I'd like that."
You both fell asleep slightly after, whispering sweet nothings and promises of a better tomorrow into each other's ears.
And when Taemin—who had worried about Yukhei not coming back to his apartment got worried enough to use your hidden spare key to get into the apartment—woke you up, screeching at the "ungodly sight" of your naked bodies pressed against one another, you laughed, despite Yukhei's possessive instincts kicking in and covering your body with his.
Because you finally had Yukhei in your arms, and, regardless of whether he's got fluffy ears and a tail or not, you were happy to call yourself his.
1K notes · View notes
justkending · 3 years
Text
Noisy Neighbors, Drabble Series. (2/2)
Summary: Bucky Barnes is that loud neighbor you want to scream your head off at for throwing all kinds of parties what feels like year round. But in doing so, you somehow got a free coffee date out of it...
Pairing: (college neighbor) Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 3000+
A/N: I had a sweet follower @blessedwedgie​ ask me if I can write a continuation of this drabble I did a while back and at first I was like, “What do I do? Where would I want that to go? How would I continue that in a way that would be cute?” Then I was at work being bored as hell, but had a pen and paper and well... Here we are! I hope I did it justice friend:) This was really fun to write and I want all the cuteness that is College Bucky Barnes in my life honestly!
Here is part one if you haven’t read it yet. 
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Noisy Neighbors Part 2:
The only reason you really agreed to coffee with the handsome neighbor was because your morning class had been canceled and you didn’t have another until later that afternoon. Of course there was the free coffee too… Ok, maybe his stupid handsome face had something to do with you leaning to say yes. 
He was persistent.
So at 9:55 the next morning, you threw on a pair of real pants and a jean jacket over your sweater and ran a hand through your hair as you grabbed your keys by the front door. 
“I’ll be back later Wands!” you shouted back down the hallway. No response. She was probably sleeping after pulling an all nighter for a test today. “I’ll be bringing you back some coffee too, I guess,” you laughed to yourself as you went to open the door. 
But you were startled to open it and immediately see those familiar piercing blue eyes.
“Jesus-” you jutted as you threw your hand over your chest in surprise. 
“Sorry,” he laughed as he took in your reaction. “I literally just stepped in front of your door.”
“You sure you haven’t been waiting out here since last night?” you smirked, stepping out and locking it. 
“Now, I did say I was persistent, but I think I deserve a coffee and a little more than small talk before I decide if you’re stalking material,” he shrugged, watching as you turned back to him. 
“I like to think I’m stalking material,” you played along, getting a laugh out of him. “Though, doesn’t mean I’d actually liked to be stalked.”
“Ladies and gentleman, she’s got the jokes,” Bucky announced as you walked side by side to leave the apartment building. 
“Just to be safe, you’re not some charming Teddy Bundy 2.0, are you? Cause if that’s the case, I don’t think this is going to work out,” you joked, sending him a smile before tucking your hands in your coat about to bare the cold outside. 
“So you think I’m charming?” Bucky jeered. 
“Don’t get cocky there, Cavanosa. I’m still trying to decide if I’ll ever answer my door again if you knock,” you pointed at him as he opened the door for you. 
“I’m wounded, Y/N,” he faked hurt, but inside he was just gitty to know your name now and be able to say it. 
“Buy me that coffee, and you’ll have a better chance, soldier.”
_____________
You went to the coffee shop on campus and the little coffee date went surprisingly well. You talked about school, learning Bucky was a forensics major and hoped to go to Quantico at some point. He said he always had a gift and interest in crime scenes and murder mysteries growing up. He liked being able to solve it before the characters on shows did or the narrator gave it away. 
To which you countered with, “So you would be a certified stalker with a badge? Interesting…”
That got a big belly laugh out of him which you couldn’t seem to help but join him after hearing such a sweet sound.
You talked about how you’re going into Psychology, and actually were interested in a similar field of forensics. You had always loved the psychoanalyzing of people and situations. So naturally, you were looking into being a Forensic Psychologist. 
He asked why he hadn’t had any classes with you yet considering it was both your senior years. Then you explained to him how you had just transferred for this last semester because of better professors and a scholarship opportunity you wanted to take advantage of before graduation. 
It turned out that you both were taking one of the same classes, but just had it at different times. Same professor though. 
After the obligated ‘college talk’, you both got into; where you grew up, where you plan to go, what are your hobbies, what do you do in your free time if you weren’t studying. Which you had already known Bucky’s was throwing parties that irked you to no end. 
“Yeah, I’ll cut back on those. I’ve been getting behind in school and it’s starting to affect my grades,” he pursed his lips in embarrassment. “Dr. Cassel’s class especially. Damn man has a 3 page essay due what feels like every night!”
Dr. Cassel being the professor that you shared.
“Eh, it’s not fun, but if you get ahead a little and do the readings, it’s not that bad,” you shrugged, taking a sip of the hot cup of tea that you told him you preferred instead of coffee on days like this with the weather. 
“Easy to say for a nerd who likes to read,” he smirked taking a drink from his own cup as he looked over the brim of it at you.
“Excuse me sir, I thought you were trying to get on my good side here,” you gasped. “Calling me a nerd isn’t going to do that for you.”
“I’m kidding. I’m kidding,” he laughed. “You actually kinda remind me of Steve. He’s a bookworm like you and the goody two shoes who’s always on top of things.”
“He didn’t seem like that at the party the other night,” you tilted your head. 
“Oh, yeah. I may or may not have finally had convinced him to join in on the fun. He’s always holed up in his room studying or reading something, which I’m sure you understand,” he winked getting an eye roll from you. “But every once and a while I can get him to cross over to the dark side for a night.”
“School’s important for me. It’s taken a lot to get here and I don’t want to mess it up,” you explained. Your face going a little more serious as if there was more behind that fact than you were letting on. Bucky toned his joking down some at change. “Plus, it’s my senior year. One more semester of this and I’m home free. That is until I start job searching and that’s a whole other step,” you shook your head looking down at your drink. 
“Have you ever gone to a party during college?” Bucky asked. “You know, do the whole college experience thing?”
You looked up seeing he was genuinely curious. 
“Uh, yeah. I went to one or two with my old boyfriend at the other school I went to. They weren’t more than just a bunch of frat boys and girls getting plastered and making out in random spots around the house, while the rest were listening to loud music and standing elbow to elbow in a crowded rent house off campus.”
“Very specific scenario there,” he chuckled, lightening the mood. “I take it you and your boyfriend aren’t together anymore?” His question did not meet your eye line as he stirred the dash of creamer he had to his drink. 
“No, that would mean he would be my current boyfriend, not old,” you laughed. “That and I probably wouldn’t have said yes to coffee if I was dating someone.”
“Right, because this is a date,” he noted as he looked back at you with that cocky grin. 
“I wouldn’t go that far,” you smirked back. 
“You did say it in the text. You said, ‘sounds like a date,’” he pointed out. 
“But do all coffee dates mean actual dates or just meeting up to talk over coffee?” you countered. 
“Would I get in trouble if I said I’m hoping it’s the first one?” he asked with hopeful eyes. 
You paused for a second. God, he was cute. He was charming. But… You came here for your degree and you broke up with your last boyfriend because your schedule is too hectic and you’re trying to focus strictly on school. You didn’t have time for relationships. 
“I hate to break it to you, but I’m not really a part of the dating rehealm at the moment,” you said awkwardly. Bucky’s smile dropping some. “My schedule is just too chaotic to add another person to it, and I really need to focus on school.”
You could see disappointment on his face, but he was quick to wipe it off to not cause any more tense energy in the conversation. 
“I get it. You have your priorities in check. Can’t blame you for that,” he shrugged with a soft smile. “But now that I know you’re my neighbor, and I really like your whole persona. You won’t be mad if we became friends, would you?”
You giggled at that and his smile widened. “I think I can get on board with that.” His grin grew once again. “Besides, I may need to copy your notes for class, so I guess it’d be useful to get along with you,” you exaggerated as if it was so much to do on your end. 
“If anyone’s copying notes here, it’ll be me, doll. I’m the one failing,” he said with a raised eyebrow as he took another sip of his drink, 
You two continued talking for a while with another cup of coffee was purchased. Strangely enough the annoying neighbor that you had grown to despise, had surprised you in being a pretty nice guy. It was like you two had been friends since high school with how comfortable and snarky you guys were with the other. And it didn’t hurt to look at him either…
Eventually you headed off to your afternoon class and Bucky headed home being lucky enough not to have any classes all day. He offered to walk you to the class, but with it being as cold as it was, you didn’t want to inconvenience him by walking you there and then all the way back to the apartments. It wasn’t a short walk. 
He obliged after much persuasion on your end and you went your separate ways. 
As the weeks went on, you started to see more of your neighbors. Steve sat with you in Child Psychology now knowing you a little better, and Bucky somehow always was in the hallway at the same time as you or was bumping into you at the forensics building occasionally. 
The neighbors had become friends and Wanda was just happy to not hear you complaining anymore about the two that shared your wall. That and the parties had practically ceased now. Considering what Bucky said about being behind in classes, you suspected he was trying to cut back on his social time. 
As the semester went on, Bucky made it a priority to see you at least once a day if he could. Emphasis on the at least…
If that meant knocking on your door to walk to class, he jumped at the opportunity. 
“Hey, I’m headed to the library and I know you have that 12 o’clock class in the building over. Wanna just go together?” He grinned. 
“Can’t say no to a chauffeur,” you would smile back as you grabbed a beanie and walked out with him. 
If it meant somehow almost always making more food than he and Steve could eat, just to come over and offer you some, he would take the option. 
“Hey, I made some pasta tonight and had way too much for Steve and I. I thought I would ask if you and Wanda want some before I throw it out,” he smiled widely in your doorway. “What college student in their right mind would say no to a hot meal?” he winked.
“Not a sane one,” you chuckled as you took the platter. “You sure you don’t want them for leftovers?”
“Eh, we never get around to eating them most the time. You guys will enjoy it more than us. Plus, it’s better fresh,” he waved off. 
“Ok, if you insist. I guess I’ll have to bake you some of my famous brownies as a thank you.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Y/N. I will hold you to it.”
If it meant last minute study sessions for a class he forgot, he texted you a long message begging you to help him out. 
“I know you took this class last semester, so you have to know something. And something is more than I know,” he said with a wrinkled nose once he was in your room. 
“What part of the unit are you in?” you sighed from your desk as you put your now finished work to the side for him. 
“Personality disorders common in serial murders.”
“Oh, that’s the fun stuff. Why wouldn't you want to learn about that?” you gasped, going to sit right next to him on your bed. 
But honestly, he wasn’t worried about the chapter. He had actually read it before coming over to surprise you in his knowledge when he acted like he was lost. He just liked when you sat close to him and went on a rant when you came up on something that triggered a murder documentary you watched. That’s how he hooked you into letting him stay longer. 
“Wait, so the movie was about a serial killer who ended up having multiple personality disorder? He didn’t know he was doing the killings?” he asked. 
“How have you not seen it? It’s a classic!” you questioned in surprise. 
“I don’t know… Tell me more about it,” he grinned as you went on. 
Oh, and he had seen it. It was a good movie. 
If it meant he somehow got ‘locked out of his apartment and couldn’t get in until Steve was home’, he made the excuse to sit outside your door until you were home. 
“I left my key inside by accident today. Any chance you’ll let a loner like me hang out with you for a little until blondie gets home?” he batted his eyelashes as he leaned against your door. 
“This is the second time this week, Bucky. And the fourth time since last week. Do I need to sew the damn things to you?” you laughed opening your apartment to him. 
“I’ll pass on that. I would prefer to just hang out with you instead,” he shrugged, closing the door behind him. 
“You sure you left your keys by accident?” you asked with a pointed eyebrow as you took off your jacket. 
“Cross my heart,” he said, doing the motion. 
“Yeah, sure. Wanna put a pot of coffee on while I change?” you asked, already moving to your room. He had been over enough by now from study sessions and ‘accidental lockouts’ to know how to work your machine. 
“Already on it,” he hummed walking to the kitchen. “Want me to make you a cup?”
“Dash of cream and-”
“Two sugars! I know,” he shouted back, smiling as he moved in your kitchen to grab the mugs. 
And if it meant never throwing another party again, and instead asking you to come over to his place and watch a movie instead, he moved his schedule around for you. 
“Hey, what do you say to a movie date?” he asked as you walked back from class and nudged you with his elbow. 
“A movie night sounds nice,” you responded, emphasizing on night instead of date. 
“I didn’t say night,” he would point out. 
“I know. I figured I would correct you on your slip up. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. Words are hard,” you teased, nudging him back. 
Though he knew you would never fall for his little tricks, he always implemented date into a lot of his questions about you two hanging out. It had become a little game between you both. 
“Study date tonight before Cassel’s test?” He asked as you grabbed your mail together. 
“Study session? Yeah, sure,” you corrected. 
“Hey, want to come over for a dinner date? Steve and I are making homemade pizza. You and Wanda are welcome!” he offered. 
“I’d love to have a pizza party with you guys. I’ll text Wanda and see what her plans are,” you giggled, hip bumping him walking up the stairs. 
“Hey, what do you say to an impromptu date to the baseball game tonight? We’re playing against our school's top rival,” He smiled as you both grabbed your coffee from the barista. 
“Oh yeah! I heard that was tonight. Eh, how do you feel about a movie night instead?” you shrugged. 
“Movie date?” he seconded. 
“Yeah, a movie night,” you emphasized. 
Conversations like that went on all semester. You were finding that whatever time you weren’t spending in class or at work, it was next to Bucky. The two of you becoming a couple of best friends attached to the hip. 
It was nice. You enjoyed it. And though, you knew deep down that he probably meant all those things being a date and hoped for it, you were glad he didn’t press on when you changed the meaning. He understood where you stood and he wasn’t going to pressure you for anything different if you didn’t want to. 
And now, it was time for graduation. You, Steve, Wanda, Wanda’s boyfriend Vis, and Bucky all stood in your gowns taking pictures with your temporary degree in hand outside the college stadium. You had all finally finished. With a lot of all nighters, stress relief movie nights, and much needed pizza parties, you had graduated. 
You didn’t plan on getting two new really good friends out of it as your mind had always been school, school, school. No time for a social life and distractions. 
But boy were you glad you had hit a breaking point the night you banged on their door. If you hadn’t, you would have probably never created the very close relationship with the blue eyed, brown hair, crazy flirtatious, but charming neighbor. 
“Hey, since we graduated and we finished the damn thing, how do you feel about a date?” Bucky asked turning to you after Wanda snapped a picture of you both.
“I didn’t hear movie, study, or pizza in front of that word. What kinda date are we talking about?” you asked as he kept his arm wrapped around your waist from the pose you two were in. 
“I was thinking of a real date,” he smiled. 
His hand on your hip giving a gently, but firm squeeze as his eye practically suffocated you with the ocean tides in them. 
“I think I can get behind that,” you grinned up at him, squeezing his shoulder. “A real date it is, Casanova.”
My Lovelies forever:
@natura1phenomenon @lauravicente @kakakatey @traceyaudette @notyourtypicalrose  @laneygthememequeen @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @thefaithfulwriter @marvelfansworld @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan  @xostephanie @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @carls1022 @jjlevin @rainbowkisses31 @carls1022 @anise-d-castle6 @deannotmoose @their-bibliophile @kitkatd7 @willowbleedsonpaper @mariaenchanted @snffbeebee @couldabeenamermaid @rebekahdawkins
Bucky Barnes Tags:
@morganclaire4 @chloe-skywalker @charmedbysarge @jbarness @bellamy-barnes​
Marvel Tags:
@thejourneyneverendsx​ @death-unbecomes-you​ @heyiamthatbitch​ @lizzymacy555​ @iheartsebastianstan @srrymydood​ @xa-dia​ @redhairedfeistynerd​ @morganclaire4​ @connie326​ @captain-asguard​ @mollygetssherlockcoffee​ @teenagedreams-bucky​
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cornacopicimagines · 4 years
Text
after hours│t.h
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pairing: professor!tom holland x reader 
words: 6.9k (hehe nice)
warnings: swearing, PURE FILTH, sir kink, rough sex, masturbation (male & female), exhibition kink if you squint, spanking & sort of public sex.
summary:  It's wrong, y/n tells herself. She can't help it though. She can't help fantasising about him. At the other end of the class, Tom tells himself to stop staring at her. It's creepy, he thinks. Neither one knows of the mutual pining that is until tension bubbles over. 
a/n: I’m back bitches! I'm still a fucking sinner and this is such a cliche, I'm so so sorry
masterlist
━━★✼☆。
y/n sat at the desk. Her eyes never left Mr. Holland. Her attention never left the way the veins in his arms bulged when he picked up the massive textbook, never left his perfectly gelled hair and how it sat atop his head like it was crafted to from the day he was born. Perhaps I should start typing the notes that were on the board, she scowled to herself.
She feels dirty, almost ashamed of her crush on him. She hates herself for falling into a stupid cliché that had been so easy to avoid all these tireless years. y/n doesn't know why she has gone back to a love-sick teenage girl fantasising about a boy who she'll never even get to touch. A boy that so out of her league, he wouldn't even had the faintest idea that she exists. That doesn't stop them though. y/n still finger fucks herself to an orgasm that no boy has been able to give her in her 24 years of life, all the while wishing it was his cock instead of her fingers. If Mr. Holland knew what she did to herself under the influence of him and his stupidly handsome face, he would be disgusted. This she knows for a fact.
This isn't what she thought she would be doing, in all honesty. She is a semester away from graduating and she never wanted to be stuck in a perpetual state of wanting someone so unattainable it's not uneasy, it's borderline unethical. She truly believed she would have ancient married professor that sound like their legs deep in their coffin. Instead she got a literal Greek God as her Psych professor.
She knows that she's not the only one of course. y/n has met 10 other girls in her class that probably write god awful poetry about Mr. Holland's liquid bronze eyes. She can't blame them, if she could write shitty poetry about him, she 100% would. y/n not angry either, she knows out of the 120 students (110 of whom are girls), are probably all in the same predicament. She sometimes gets dirty looks from them when Mr. Holland address her by her first name.
Perhaps that's something she should consider; he calls her y/n not Miss y/l/n or just simply Miss. It's different, it's endearing and when he has a raspy voice, it's so fucking hot.
"y/n," a voice called out, she shook herself out of her haze, "are you still with us?" Mr. Holland was no standing over her. His cologne surrounding her, intoxicating her. y/n gulped softly before turning her eyes to his.
"Yes, sorry sir," y/n replied quickly, trying her hardest not to stumble over her own words or even let the blush run to her cheeks.
Mr. Holland smiled warmly, "that's good, I need at least one of you listening," the class erupting in laughter, "I would prefer it to be one of the brightest." That though got them quiet. y/n sunk into her chair in embarrassment. The blush she had been fighting rose to the surface, making her even more adamant not to look up at him but alas she couldn't.
In that small fleeting moment, she caught something in his eyes. She couldn't define exactly what it was. Whatever it truly was, y/n knew teachers should not be looking at their students in such a way. It made her even more lightheaded with admiration.
The lesson continued on as normal for another hour. Mr. Holland described the outline for the next assignment, it seemed short and sweet. Write a 2-thousand-word essay on the effects of unintentional recreational drugs during early childhood. y/n had to laugh at the way Mr. Holland phrased it. It was as if he had never touch pot in his entire life, to be fair, y/n wouldn't be too surprised if he didn't. Most of the girls in his class groaned at the mere mention of actual work and not an hour and a half session of pure toe-curling orgasm material. Now that she thinks about it, that would be a wonderful way to spend her Wednesday mornings and Thursday afternoons.
Of course, y/n was in another word during the last minutes of the lesson. Unable to focus on anything other than the hint of a tattoo peeking through the underlining of his shirt. She was working so hard to distinguish what it was that she had completely missed the end of the lesson and the dozens of people walking out.
"y/n, what exactly are you doing?" Mr. Holland's voice asked above her. y/n almost jumped in her seat, but she stayed completely still. "This is the second time today, should I be worried?"
This though made her jump out of her seat. "No of course not sir!" She defended as she rushed to place her things away. "I was just off in wonderland today."
"Are you sure there is nothing distracting you?" He asked.
Yes.
"No," she replied hurriedly.
"You know you can tell me if something is," he reassured her.
Yes, of course. Let me just tell you about how you are distracting me by always wearing the hottest casual suits every lesson and giving me the wonderful fantasy of tearing it off you.
"I know that, it's just been my busy schedule," y/n lied through her teeth. She's a broke college student with hardly any friends or real other assignments. "I am just working really hard, you know?"
Yeah, working really hard to imagine you pounding me into next week!
With that last thought, y/n knew she needed to leave before she exploded with embarrassment and arousal right there in front of him.
"I just wanted to let you know that you are totally allowed to change the topic of the assignment if you feel like there is something that strikes a chord with you," Mr. Holland smiled brightly.
Fuck! Did he have to look so gorgeous even when he's trying to be dorky and supportive.
Mr. Holland noticed the shocked look upon y/n's face and immediately retracted his statement, "I promise I won't fail you, if that's what your thinking." He explained. "I really enjoy your work, you're a gifted woman with a real talent and I don't want to see it go to waste with my shitty assignment."
y/n turned her attitude around. He was stumbling over his words. It was kind of cute and endearing, like everything he does. She smiled warmly at his compliment.
"Sir," she spoke softly. It came out a lot mouseyer and somehow sexual than she would have liked but she refused to back out of her statement. "I can't wait."
She didn't say another word but simply slung her back over her shoulder and made her way out of the class. Tom followed her figure in complete and utter shock. He praised whatever god watched over him for the small mercy that was having y/n's back turned to him to witness his immediate blush cover his entire freckled face.
Tom never let his eyes leave her. He just watched her waltz right out of his classroom, he bit his lip at the sight of her perfectly cupped ass in her jeans. Through-out the entire lesson, all he could think about is how her tits would bounce as his dick thrusted up into her little cunt. Just the thought made his cock spring to life.
He stared up at the clock. He had to be in another lecture in 10 minutes, he had to teach another round of student without her pretty face in it in 10 bloody minutes. Sadly, it wasn't enough time to imagine cumming over her said face. He fidgeted until his painful erection was safely hidden.
God, you are such a fucking creep, Holland. He thought to himself.
━━★✼☆。
y/n really didn't want to be doing this.
She really didn't want to have to walk to the library in a mini skirt she had when she went through her cringy hoe phase and a low-cut tank top she only really wore to bed at 8 at night. Luckily before she left, her roommate gave her a full can of pepper spray and a pocketknife. A handle tool for when you looked like a prostitute.
She had no choice. It was laundry night and she had to get her assignment out of the way, or she would never finish it in time. She wanted to kick herself for letting laundry night fall on the only night the library stayed open until midnight. It was a perk for sure but not when you had nothing to wear but pink neon rags.
y/n pushed open the library door and relieved herself of the anxiety of being abducted by the greeting of Harry. He looked familiar but she couldn't pinpoint where she had seen his face before.
"What cha doing here?" he shouted. Quite contradictory for a librarian. y/n grinned when she saw his dorky face at the counter. That is until he caught wind of her outfit, or lack thereof. "Got a late shift at the strip-club after this?" Her face fell.
"I hate you," she played along, her arms slumping on the cold desk. y/n looked around the library. It was basically empty, with the exception of the middle-aged teacher grading a stack full of papers. Poor bastard, y/n thought. "Got one for me?"
"You're going to get me fired if I do this again," Harry huffed, he banged his head against the keyboard in frustration.
"This is the last time," y/n explained, "I pinkie promise." She lifted her hand over the counter and waved her pinkie finger in Harry's face. He stared up her than move his eyeline to her finger now just touching the tip of his nose. He groaned loudly as he took her finger in his.
"There is a ton of empty booths, choose one and don't make a sound," Harry told her angrily, y/n simply clapped her hands in celebration and skipped off. She chooses the booth in range of Harry, in hopes that maybe he will distracted her and she won't have to do her work because she's too busy goofing off.
y/n dropped her stuff in a huff. Her back slumped into the curve of the chair and the desk covered her body happily. She placed her earphones in and played her favourite study music. She was in absolute heaven.
The assignment was kicking her ass, but she was determined to do it. Mr. Holland seemed genuinely excited for what she would write about if she did decide to change the topic. Now though she's regretting not letting Mr. Holland's hopes down.
She could find hardly anything online and even if she did it was by some random SJW on Tumblr. That's what lead her here tonight. In hopes that maybe some privileged white asshole with a degree would have some sources sighted to help her. Unfortunately, she was having trouble with that too.
It was now 11:30pm. She had been at this god forsaken table for two and a half hours now in an endless pursuit of bullshit. y/n had half a mind to give up and just suck his dick for the grade like other girls would in this situation. y/n had to remind herself though, she is a gifted woman with a real talent that should not be wasted on something shitty to please the masses. Did she just quote Mr. Holland?
She caught eyes with Harry in her block, who had two pencils stuck up his nose in an attempt to cheer her up. It did for the most part. y/n wanted to play along but it had seemed someone else had walked through the door at that very moment and Harry threw the pencils out. Harry's face lit up with red upon the arrival of this mystery person. y/n was interested in who this mystery person was. That is until she saw his face.
Mr. Holland walked up to the library desk in a fit of laughter. His hands smacking the counter and his face contorted in a wide smile. y/n instantly ducked under the table. She could faintly hear their conversation. It just sounded like muffled words until her name popped up.
Jesus Christ. Not now. Not tonight. Why of all night to run into his must it have to be tonight. Maybe I should make a run for it now, bust out of the wind-
"I know you're under there y/n," Mr. Holland's voice sung above her. It was too late now. Any escape plan that her mind frantically tried to rationalise was long gone by this point. Slowly, y/n retreated from her hiding spot to face him. He had his normal outfit of a tight t-shirt paired with a decorative tie and slightly lose pants. This time though he had a long burgundy coat draped over his shoulders. He looked like a painting. y/n smiled sheepishly.
"Hi," she said simply. Regaining her seat from before and fully appearing in front of him. "I had no idea you would be here this late," she tried with conversation.
"Harry's my brother, I have to drive him home before leaving myself and he just wanted to work the late shift tonight," Tom laughed to himself and he turned around and waved at Harry. His brother waved back guiltily. "You know, I could say this same to you," he smirked at her.
"I am working on your assignment, sir," y/n responded quietly. Tom's eyes lit up at that and he rushed to snatch the papers off her desk and into his hands. Much to the disapproval of y/n.
"Oh good, you've decided to change it," Tom sounded almost relieved as if he trusted her judgement more than his own. Worse of it all, he decided to sit down next to her. Even taking off his coat, making his biceps bulge through his shirt. His eyes flicked through what she currently has. His eyebrows raised in shock, "I have to say, I was not expected you to decide to do something about the female orgasm and its effect on the psyche," his voice was an octave deeper than usual. y/n could feel her arousal building.
y/n couldn't decide if he was just being friendly or if he was trying to send a deeper message. Either way, she decided to take action. "Well, with the number of women being unsatisfied I thought it was an appropriate topic," she snatched the papers out of his hands, "but you wouldn't know anything about women being unsatisfied would you sir?"
Tom sat there in astonishment. His cock stiffened against the restraints of his jeans, he has only been in her vicinity for 5 minutes and already she has him hard as a rock. It was times like these that he wished he could just leave all his determination to fuck her over this very desk at the door. Regrettably, he couldn't.
"Well, that just ruins the surprise," y/n sighed delicately. Her fingers flicking through the pages of her useless book. "Either way, the resources are complete shit," this time her sadness was real, and Tom snapped out of his lust-ridden haze.
"Did you really expect a man to know mostly everything of something that is so cardinally female?" Tom smirked as he closed the book on her and pointed to the photo of a wrinkled old man. He was the author of a stupid book and to be fair, he looked like he would write this type of book as well.
"Damn, I knew I was doing something wrong," y/n hissed. She had been spending her entire night trying to piece together information from a man who can only give her half the story.
"The book on the top shelf is one on the chemical effects of orgasming in females by a female," Tom leaned in and whispered in her ear. His hot breath wafted of her skin; it was enough to send goose bumps over her entire body. y/n turned her head to face him, their lips inches away from each other. If they didn't have Harry watching them like a hawk, they probably would be out of breath from lip-locking. Instead, y/n nodded and got up out of her seat, making sure to give him a stunning view of her tits through her tank top. He wanted to audibly gasp but kept in inside. It didn't help with his situation downstairs any more than the last few minutes have.
Slowly, she walked over to the bookcase. Her eyes scanning the endless rows and she made sure Tom had enough time to enjoy the deep red thong underneath her skirt. Finally, her fingers coiled around the book and brought it down to her. Tom couldn't believe his own eyes. He was so under her spell. The way her top hugged her curved and let his eyes completely drink in her breasts. How her skirt was pulled up to her waist, allowing the flushed skin of her ass to be visible to him. He wonders how a woman like her even exists and yet she takes a seat next to him, absolutely unaware of his throbbing manhood. Begging to be touched by her, to be taken by her, by anything to do with her.
"Thank you, sir," she almost purrs to him, Tom's struggling to keep it together. He afraid the next thing to slip out of her flawless mouth, he'll cum straight into his pants when he would rather cum into her.
"Anytime," he responds just a dark before getting up. Hiding his clearly hard cock behind his briefcase. "I'll see you in class?" He already knows the answer, but he just wants the last bit of assurance from her.
"Of course," she smiled warmly. With that Tom basically books it, he's frantically making sure he's well-hidden as he quickly bends over the counter.
"I'll come back to pick you up in 30, I forgot some paper work back in my office," it's so fast, Harry almost doesn't have time to translate it before Tom's out the door and rushing down the hall.
At one point, he basically running to get to his office. Feet tapping against the concrete as he continues to see nothing but flashing images of y/n. It blurs his vision and he's so desperate. He considers using a spare supply closet but know he will only get complete privacy in his own office.
He finally gets there, after what seems like an eternity of running. He checks the hallways before entering. He drops all of his things at the foot of the door. He even has the decency to hang his coat upon the rack. Tom slowly walks over to his chair. It's a rough leather material and usually he would refuse to do what he's about to do in here, it will be stained with the memory but at this point. He got no fucks left to give.
He crashes down. His back hitting the material he hates so much. He doesn't think he's got time, but he still does it slowly. His belt drops next to his and he undoes the zip slowly and the cold air hits his dick. He hisses at the feeling but proceeds anyways. Tom pulls the rest of his jeans and boxers down his legs and kicks them across the room. His hand takes his dick, slowly rubbing the head. Imaging y/n's fingers dancing over it, spreading the precum over. He uses his palm to envision her own stroking up and down in an even motion. He can't help but moan. He can't help but softly call out her name.
He so entranced that he doesn't recognize the following light footsteps approaching. He's so into her non-existent touch that he doesn't hear the door peacefully squeak open. He's so in love with the feeling he doesn't feel y/n walk around the room to get on her knees in front of him.
She's in glory of his movements. Watching him stroke his much bigger cock than her masturbation version has her in a hurry to get her own panties off her body and across the floor. She's sure she's dripping onto the wood below but she does have single care in the world. Tom has his head thrown back in ecstasy as his hand starts to speed up, that's when y/n decides to go for the kill. She licks a long strip up his shaft. Her hands stabilizing him by placing them atop his bare thighs.
Tom almost jumps out of his chair. He had no idea she caught him in the middle of something so vile and wrong. Better yet, she had caught him with the tip of his dick around her perfectly glossed lips. He doesn't get to say another word before y/n's hands begin massaging the bottom of his manhood. It's slow to begin with, it's almost if she's easing him into it. Her cheeks hollow out to allow his length into her warm mouth. It's incredible. Tom can't help but buck his hips up into her throat causing her to gag slightly. It's a sound he wants more of.
His hands ball her hair into his fist. With the faster her movements become, the harder he fucks into her mouth. They sync up almost instantly. One of y/n's hands leave his cock to fuck herself. Tom's mesmerised by the way her fingers act as a replacement for his dick. He's certain he's not going to last much longer.
"I should be d-doing that," he whispers through grunts. y/n lifts her head to smile at him, still letting her free hand jerk and pull bringing him closer the edge.
"I know," she responds, just as quiet. Her mouth reconnects but Tom quickly snaps his hips up into her. Her muffled moaning vibrated against his cock as he fucks her mouth. It's the hottest thing he's ever done. He tugs and pulls at her hair, y/n's edging him on. She's exquisite, it's like she's mastered this and has allowed him to chance to feel how fucking beautiful her little mouth can be.
Like it's effortless, he comes. Without any warning, he is shooting hot stream of cum into her mouth, filling it up. Tom swears he's seeing stars but can't bring him to call out her name but instead bites down on his hand so hard he's afraid he's drawn blood.
y/n releases him from her mouth and is from an actual porn Tom spent his teenage years watching, his cum leaks from her lips and falls down on the curves of her tits. It's a sight he was to remember forever. He wants to grab his phone and click so he will get to look at her covered in his cum for the rest of his life but alas, he's still regaining his bearings.
"Tastes better than I would have expected," y/n giggles as she brings the liquid back up to her lips and swallows. There is no way this woman gets better; he thinks to himself.
"Sweetheart-," he begins but she beats him to it, her gets back on her feet and plants a sweet kiss upon his lips. He can taste himself on her lips, it's addictive.
"I wanted this," it's almost as if she read his mind. He doesn't respond but he simply looks at her, his hand coming up to twirl a strand of hair that has fallen in front of her face.
y/n pulls away from him, walking over the pile of discarded clothes and bend to pick up her soaked underwear. She gives Tom a look, he's so close he can smell her juices from his seat. Her pussy look like a paradise waiting to be exploded by him, but he keeps his hands to himself. y/n paced herself over to the coat hanger, her folded panties in hand. She places them in the left pocket with a devilish smile upon her face. Tom had now place their rest of his clothes back on and had joined her.
"I'll get them back next lesson," y/n grins. Tom nods quickly, their feet fumbling under her back hits his office door. She's trapped in between him, he smells of pure sex but she's committed to her idea. He bends down to capture her lips in his with a forceful kiss. It's hungry and needy. She wants it so badly to give but she pulls away. "My roommate is waiting for me outside."
"We'll finish this," Tom whispers as he opens the door for her. It sends shivers down y/n's spine. It's not a promise, it's an order.
She grabs the rest of her things and heads off. Almost in a sick turn of events, Tom watches her bare ass strut away from him. Just like the last lesson, except this time all he can do is imagine him face fucking her. It's a beautiful sight.
━━★✼☆。
The three days leading up to class where probably the slowest 72 hours both of them had ever experienced. A constant detail of pleasure from the night before. So when the fated day arrived, both parties didn't know what to do. Tom debated just staying home, though he couldn't deny he so desperately want just another taste. He thought, if he didn't show up, all his guilty conscience of a student giving him the best head he's ever had in his life would simply disappear and he would go back to being a normal teacher. y/n, too, thought of skipping this class for a completely different reason. Perhaps she had got a surge of confidence after hearing her professor call out her name while he touched himself or it could just be the pure scandalous nature of it all. Either way, she wanted to stay cooped up with a blanket while she watched him unravelled. No matter the psyche from the both of them, they went.
y/n stood outside the classroom for a good 20 minutes, unsure of what she should do. Should she go in now and fuck him in the small window or wait and play with his emotions? She hadn't realised how fast the time had went until she saw other student's start entering. It was now or never and unfortunately it was going to be now.
The room was smaller than y/n remember when she stepped in. It seemed more wide the last time she came in here. Of course, the last time she came in her, she hadn't sucked Mr. Holland's cock.
Her eyes landed on him in a matter of seconds. His back was turned to her as he wrote on the massive blackboard in front of him. y/n could see his muscles flex as he tried to reach for the duster above the board. She bit her lip as she thought of her nails digging into his back as he fucked her. It was a fantasy she had to push to the side.
Tom could practically smell her once she walked in. It was her normal perfume that had been intensified 10 fold. He refuses to turn around, afraid that if he did all his good heart nature would go out the window. Tom could hear the faint clinking of the heels of her shoes walk up the stairs. He so desperately wanted them to come right back down.
"Okay, as you know, you're assignment is due in 2 weeks and this is going to be the only time I will answer your questions," Tom's voice boomed. He hadn't got a lot of sleep since that night and he didn't particularly want to do this but he considered himself a kind professor, so he had too.
He turned around and saw the entire class' hands go straight up in the air. Including y/n, though hers was a little lower. Her eyebrow raised and a small smirk painted on her lips. There was no way in hell he was answer whatever question came out of those pretty lips. She looked even more exquisite than when he last saw her. A tight t-shit that had a stained 50's logo on it and a pair of tight black jeans, he knew as soon as he spoke to her, he would loose all control on himself.
So he never did, constantly dodging her. Answering every single question, even if half of them were if he was married or worse if he was free Friday night. He will admit, seeing y/n get frustrated every time he passed her to talk to another young female student made him just that tad bit excited.
It was an hour and a half of pure tension. Sure, no one else in the class could feel it but they 100% could. She never felt more out of control and for some reason, she despised it. He kept ignoring her, kept refusing her, kept defying her. It was infuriating, that she wanted to take fate by the hair.
She waited, until every single soul had walked out of the door. She waited until the last gaggle of girls had finished their blabbering to Tom before she starting to strut down the stairs. Tom refused to meet her eyes even when he knew that's all she did. Glare at him as she stomped past him desk to the classroom door. He heard it lock.
"I wanted to ask you a question," she almost spat, "sir."
Tom straightened himself before swivelled around to meet her. She was so livid with him but he knew deep down that all she wanted from him was to have the white chalk from the board rubbed up her back from him pinning her down.
"Fire away," he responded exactly the same. She stared at him for a moment before strolling towards him. She made sure to swing her hips every other time. She noticed his eyes on her, finally she was getting somewhere.
y/n pressed her chest upon his heaving one. Her face lifting to meet his. They stayed like that for a good minute, just pondering. They listened to each other's heats thumping against their rib cages. They both desperately needed this.
Never taking her eyes off him, y/n snaked her hand around the side of pocket of her coat, smiling once she found what she left. Her soaked red thong, it was a sight for sore eyes.
"I wanted to ask if I was every going to get payback?" she giggled softly. Tom knew she was playing a game but he had no idea which one it was.
"I don't think I understand," he stammered, she strutted away from him until she met the edge of his stainless desk. Her fingers gliding over the wood ever so slightly. She turned her head to look at him. She had a rawness in her eyes; lustful, a sinner's stare. It would be a look Tom was never forget for the rest of his life.
y/n suddenly jumped on the desk. Her ass moving the papers to the side as she slowly started to unbutton her tight jeans. "I think you do," it was almost a hiss but he only heard the desperation in her voice. "I want you to make me feel all the things you did that night."
Tom almost fainted just with that until she dropped her jeans the floor. She had come to class without any underwear on and her wetness was dripping onto the desk. Tom was sure was in heaven but he didn't want to believe it.
He got on his knees. His hands palming at her soft thighs. Tom didn't need another incentive, he didn't need another spur-on. Tom licked a single strip up her folds, y/n bit a moan back. It was like tasting ambrosia or doing cocaine for the first time. He needed more, so he went back in again, this time it was rougher. His fingers gripping at her ass, pulling her closer to his mouth as he devoured as if he hadn't eaten in weeks. Her hands tangle themselves in his floppy curls, she tugs harshly on his scalp as he adds a finger into her warm entrance.
Tom's never felt like this before but he doesn't care. He's sure people can hear her soft but frantic moaning from outside, but he doesn't care. He'll never look at his desk the same way but like everything else, he doesn't fucking care. Tom curls his fingers in the perfect spot inside of her.
"Just like that," y/n calls out, her hair now sprawled out on the desk. "I'm going to cum sir."
Tom feels her walls contract around his fingers as he pulsing faster, her back arches and she trying so hard to force her cries back into her throat. It's a sight he wants to from above, it's a feeling he wants to feel inside of her. So, at the last minute, he retracts everything. His tongue leaves her throbbing clit and his finger, which are glistening with her slick, slid out of her.
y/n can't hold back to whine that leaves her left from the loss of his god-like tongue and fingers. "What the fuck Tom?!" she's angry with him, she wants to tell him off but before she can do it. One of his hands captures her wrist and slams them against the desk below her, pinning her to it. She whimpers at the sting of pain.
He's right above her but she can't see a single thing below her. "Look at me," he tells her sternly, she does what's she is told instantly. "You can't talk to me like that sweetness," y/n knows there is a venom behind his words even if she speaks in a melody. "I'm not your fucking boyfriend, you don't call me that."
Without any warning at all, he pounds right up into her. y/n almost spasms out of Tom's grip from the wave of pleasure. Tom doesn't move at all, he stays nuzzled inside her. It's agonising, almost painful for y/n. Having his perfect cock not jamming into her tight cunt. It's torture.
"You understand that?" he peppers kissed against the nape of her neck, she's about to cry out, she'll do anything. She nods her head frantically, hoping it's enough. It isn't. He keeps his hips locked tightly against hers. "Words, sweetness."
"Yes," she responds. She can feel him frown against her skin. He pulls right out of her and rams right back in, causing y/n to scream out in pleasure. "Y-yes sir," she corrects herself and with that, Tom starts a pace. It's slow and tantalising, he watches amazed at how her pretty folds swallow him up with every thrust. It's magnificent.
He wants to savour this moment forever. He wants to fuck her brains out for every waking moment of his existence.
"Sir, go harder," she moans below him. Her wrists bruised from his gripped, but the pain just only contributes in her overwhelming amount of pleasure. His thick cock is so much better than her fingers, no matter how many she adds.
Tom obliges and starts to really pound into her cunt. It's raw and ruthless, he's calling out her name now. "Fuck sweetness, you so bloody tight," he purrs, y/n can't respond through her chant of curses. "You're little cunt was made for me, it was made for me to stretch it out."
The dirty talk elevates her, y/n's not sure how much longer she'll last. His filling ever last inch of her. She can feel her tits bounce every time their skin collides. Her wrists are finally let free as he begins to clutch at her naked hips. It's an experience she's never felt. The sound of skin slapping and their combined gasping and cursing are the only thing she can perceive to hear. If there was a knock at the door, y/n knows she would have no idea about it.
Perhaps, it's the pure excitement and morality of this whole situation that makes them both feel like they're on cloud nine. Her arms snake around his waist, her hands move with every rough thrust into her. She's gripping onto his back through the material of his tight shirt. Her nails clasping on the contracting muscles. She would have left his back red and sore if he didn't have the damned t-shirt on to protect him.
"Fuck," she curses as he started to hit an area inside of her, she never knew existed. "Just like that sir, I am going to cum," she moans, her forehead against his. They lock eyes again, this time though there is no linger feeling of want or romance. It's just sex. Dirty, hot, intense fucking.
She's the first to come undone. The fire now transformed into a raging wildfire spreading across her entire abdomen. y/n throws her head back in ecstasy, her whole vision goes black and she has to bit down against her hand to stop and inevitable pornographic scream to jump out of her mouth. Her other hand clutches his neck, pulling him closer to her.
Tom follows shortly after, his thrusts become sloppy and erratic but never easing up. His cock twitches inside of her before he shots the hot white liquid all inside of her cunt. He pressed his lips against her as his attempt to stop his moan as well but he continues to call out her angelic name against her lips. Once, Tom pulls out of her, he watches in awe. The mixture leaks out of her hole and then pools on his desk. He's so in love with this woman it hurts.
"I have never cum that hard in my entire fucking life," she giggles, pulling her top down her flushed tits. As he too, starts to redress himself, he simply stares at her. Watches her retrieve her jeans from the floor and slip them up her bare ass. He spots her shove her panties back into his back pocket, not before she scribbles something down on a torn piece of paper.
"What are you doing?" he asked gently, wrapping his arms around her waist. She nuzzles her face in the crook of her.
"I'm giving you a reason to come make me dinner and then fuck me again," she explains, "I put my address in there, so hopefully you can't get lost."
"You sure about this," Tom asked hesitantly, y/n now swivelled around to face him. Her warm palm caressed his face.
"I wouldn't have just done that if I wasn't," she places a soft, tender kiss to his cheek. "Make it a Thursday though, my roommate will be out on those nights," she told him as he grabbed the last of her things and unlocked the door. Tom grins warmly as she makes herself presentable for the last time. "I would clean that up if I were you," y/n laughed, pointing at the obvious mess all over his desk before quickly exiting.
As she wobbled back to her dorm, she wondered what article of clothing she should leave out on their next escapade.
━━★✼☆。
a/n: this is gonna flop, i just fuckin know it 🥴 anways i hope you enjoyed my fic that has ended my hiatus. see you (hopefully) soon 🥺
6K notes · View notes
seijorhi · 4 years
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hello, i love your writing and was hoping if u could write a yandere kuroo x reader where he corners her in a corner and kenma is there and is getting off from it 😳 thank u !
Asdfghjkl this was supposed to be posted on Sunday I’m sorry, bby!! I hope it’s worth the wait! 💕 also, loved this request so thanks for sending it in 😊
Kuroo Tetsuro x Female Reader, Kenma Kozume x Female Reader
TW dub con, coercion (kinda?), stalking, humiliation
Helping Hand
There’s a certain peace you find in the looming stacks of the library after the sun sets. It’s quieter then, less people milling about. You don’t have to fight for space or books, and considering you have midterms soon and essays coming out of your ears, that makes it the perfect study environment.
It’s only a little after eight, the library’s still open for another two and a half hours, but on the fourth floor it’s almost a ghost town - just how you like it. There’s a professor tucked away in the back corner, piles of books built up around him, an older librarian with her trolley, slowly re-shelving books, and two other guys around your age sitting huddled at a table a few down from yours - the textbooks and highlights spread across their desk having been long since abandoned in favour of literally anything else.
Honestly, you’d wonder why they’d bother coming to the library at all if it wasn’t an almost daily occurrence. Most days you were there, so were they - usually together, although it wasn’t uncommon to see just one of them camped out between the stacks as you made your way to your desk. The duo, one tall and lean with a shock of messy dark hair that always looked like he’d just rolled out of bed, and the other smaller, more reserved, with bleached hair and dark roots in serious need of a touch up, seemed to prefer this time to study too - not that they ever seemed to actually do all that much studying.
Usually the blonde ends up absorbed in his switch while the other casually thumbs through whichever book is closest.
So long as they were quiet and didn’t disturb you, who were you to judge?
You don’t really remember when they’d started to appear, only that they’d quickly become a fixture in your refuge - distantly familiar presences like strangers travelling on the same bus to work each day. They smile (well, the dark haired one does) and nod whenever you happen to look up from your notes and catch their eye, and while you’ve only spoken a handful of words to the both of them, they always seemed nice. 
Nicer than the clearly overworked professor muttering away in the corner at any rate, which makes them the logical choice to approach when you find your bladder uncomfortably full halfway through your self imposed study session. Realistically, you know at this time of the night nobody else is likely to make their way up to the fourth floor, much less have any interest in your shitty, old laptop or the five whole dollars in your wallet - yet you find you making your way over to the twosome’s table anyway, a faint blush dusting across your cheeks.
“… don’t want to,” you overhear the blonde mutter, his attention wholly focused upon the game in his hands. “Things are fine, why change that?”
His friend sighs, “Because you can deny it all you want, but I know you better than that. I know I’m not the only one who wants more. You can’t just sit back and…” he trails off suddenly, hazel eyes flickering over to you in surprise. 
Confused by his friend’s sudden silence, the blonde lowers his game and glances up - only to still at the sight of you.
You swallow down your nerves, plastering what you hope is a friendly enough smile across your face, “Hi, uh… sorry to interrupt you guys, but would you mind watching my stuff for a few minutes while I go to the bathroom? I won’t be long or anything, I just don’t like leaving my stuff out in the open,” you say with a sheepish laugh, well aware that you’re rambling like an idiot. 
It’s the dark haired one who answers, a wide grin breaking across his face as he nods, “Yeah, no worries. We’d be glad to.”
You smile back, ignoring the faint fluttering in your stomach (he does look kind of cute grinning like that), thanking him again before rushing away in the direction of the bathroom.
It doesn’t take long for your thoughts to drift away from the duo back to the essay you’re mid-way through drafting. You have a sinking feeling that the argument you’re trying to use in the fourth paragraph is essentially a just rehash of the point you made in the first. By the time you unlock the stall door and make your way over to the sink to wash your hands, you’re starting to debate the merits of scrapping the whole thing and starting fresh with new ideas.
You still technically have time, it’s not due until the end of the month, but you just kind of want it done so you don’t have to think about it anymore. Then again, that’s kind of your feelings towards the semester as a whole. 
Who are you kidding? University’s kicking your ass this year.
The ancient hand dryer’s almost deafening as it clicks on - it masks the sound door swinging open and the footsteps that echo out from the tile floors.
It’s only when your eyes flicker up to mirror that you see that you’re no longer alone-
Standing right behind you is the guy from before; the tall, dark haired one. 
- and jerk in surprise, stumbling backwards with a choked yelp.
It doesn’t hit you right away - no, that’s relief that has you drawing a hand over your chest and letting out a shaking laugh. “You scared the hell out of me!” you say, bracing yourself over the sink to try and calm your breathing.
No, it doesn’t hit you quickly. Realisation is slow - creeping through your veins like ice as your eyes flicker back up the mirror. 
He hasn’t moved. 
He’s smiling, grinning really, but there’s something… something off about it. It doesn’t quite meet his eyes… Why isn’t he saying anything?
W-why isn’t he moving away?
Your heart, still hammering from his shock of his sudden appearance, squeezes uncomfortably and your eyes slowly widen.
“Wh-”
A rough, calloused palm slaps across your mouth, smothering whatever words you’d been about to speak. “Ah, ah. Gotta keep it down, sweetheart.”
He winks at you in the mirror, taking a tiny step towards you and you squeak, breathing in sharp, shallow pants through your nose as a warm, muscled chest presses against your back. “You’re a nervous little thing, aren’tcha?” he chuckles. “Relax a little - promise I don’t bite.”
With one hand wrapped around your lips the other creeping across your waist, his words don’t exactly bring you a lot of comfort. 
It makes no difference either way - you’re paralysed, shaking and trembling, but utterly unable to move as he noses at the column of your throat, his warm breath tickling your skin.
You could scream, but there’s no guarantee anybody would hear you. You could try and fight him off, but he’s taller than you, and you’re willing to bet stronger as well.
Will he hurt you if you try and resist?
Is he gonna hurt you anyway?
You’ve heard the stories before about men who follow women into empty bathrooms and the awful things they do, but you never...
Those things don’t happen in places like this. The library is supposed to be safe, he- he’s been-
Your stomach drops.
Weeks. 
He’s been visiting the library with his friend, sitting across from you for weeks.
His eyes bore into your reflection in the mirror like he can hear every terrified thought that passes through your head, and with excruciating slowness you’re forced to watch as his lips brush a kiss against your cheek, lingering and sweet - a mockery of tenderness. 
A scared little whimper is all you can manage, and even that is swallowed up by the sound of the bathroom door squeaking open once more. 
Your heart skips a beat, eyes widening.
A faint burst of hope flickers to life.
You might not be a fighter, but this might be the only chance you have. You shriek again, the sound woefully muffled, and writhe against your captor’s tightening grip as slow footsteps round the corner.
Please, you think as tears stream silently down your face. Please help me.
What little hope you have is quickly - brutally - extinguished as your would be saviour steps into view.
Your legs shake and you’re almost positive that if it wasn’t for the strong arms wrapped around you, you would have crumpled to the floor.
It’s his friend, the blonde, hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie, watching the scene before him - you struggling against an iron grip, gagged and terrified - like it’s nothing out of the ordinary. 
Your captor chuckles, relaxing his grip as his hand drifts upwards to palm at your breast and you want to die. “Glad you finally decided to grace us with your presence.”
“Shut up, Kuroo,” the blonde groans as he makes his way over, but he barely glances at his friend before his catlike eyes come to rest on you.
Your cheeks are burning, a potent mix of shame, nausea and dread churning in your stomach as you’re crudely felt up, but under the blonde’s attention you freeze.
While his face is a blank mask of apathetic disinterest, those golden irises are piercing in their intensity as they study you.
The glint in his eyes is as unmistakable as it is stark; anticipation - like a house cat watching a golden canary flit restlessly in its cage.
The hiccuping sob comes unbidden, choking at your throat as you wail against the palm at your lips. You’ve never wanted to disappear so badly in your entire life, to slap yourself awake and realise that it’s nothing but a stress induced nightmare because this can’t be happening.
Why you?
What could you possibly have done to deserve this?
“Relax,” Kuroo repeats, leaning down over you again, “we’re not gonna hurt you. Just wanna have some fun, that’s all.” You think he’s going to try and kiss you again, but instead his tongue darts out and he licks at the silvery tear tracks, groaning softly.
You shoot the quiet blonde a desperate, pleading look. He hasn’t lifted a finger to stop what’s happening, hasn’t done anything other than stare at you, but even as his lips twitch into the faintest hint of a smile you hold out on the shadow of a prayer that maybe, just maybe-
Kuroo follows your wide, panicked gaze and almost snorts. “You’re barking up the wrong tree there, baby. Kenma’s not gonna help you. He wants this just as badly as I do.” His thumb slides across your cheek, brushing away more tears, “C’mon, on your knees.”
He doesn’t give you a choice - the hand on your shoulder forces your shaking knees to buckle and you fall down to the bathroom floor.
The tiles are cold against your bare legs, but the shivers that wrack through you have little to do with the temperature. It’s far too late to regret the short skirt you’d thrown on that morning.
Kuroo hums appreciatively, lifting his palm to tap it a few times against your cheek like you’re an adorable little puppy who’s just learned its first trick, “It’s a good look for you, baby, but I think it’d be even better without this-” his fingers tug at the collar of your top and his grin widens, “- in the way.” 
Yet he makes no move to take it off for you. One look into his eyes, the glittering amusement darkened with lewd desire and you know that he won’t.
He wants you to do it, to play along in their fun - to be an active participant in your own humiliation.
And really, what other choice do you have?
It’s impossible to ignore the bulge straining against his jeans as your trembling fingers grip the hem of your top and reluctantly yank it upwards. There’s a sharp inhale - Kuroo you think - and a whistle as it comes off, baring your lacy bra and the soft skin underneath to their hungry gazes. 
Only for a moment. 
Staring resolutely at the floor you’re quick to try and cover what little modesty you have left, bringing your arms up to wrap around your chest-
Except a hand catches at your wrist and tugs it back, and when you glance up you find it’s Kenma’s. 
“… Don’t,” he murmurs. “I want to see you.”
You let your arms drop, hands clenching into shaking fists in your lap, fingernails biting into your palm.
The sound of a zipper being pulled undone is almost deafening in the quiet bathroom. Fresh tears sting at your eyes, but you can’t bear to look at either of them as Kuroo reaches inside his pants and frees his cock.
The hand that cups your cheek is surprisingly gentle as he coaxes your face back towards him and the achingly hard member in his grip. “See Kenma, I told you - change ain’t always a bad thing.”
His dark eyes flicker back to you and he grins, “Open up, sweetheart.”
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SterekWeek2020: Day Six (Blue Moon)
~
“First of all,” Stiles said, pointing his fork at the red-haired banshee across from him. “The chances of Derek ever falling in love with me are like, once in a blue moon. Second of all, it’s just a quick college party to convince my college friends that I’m not single and lonely!”
“But you are single and lonely,” Lydia said, slicing delicately into her chicken as she ignored the fork in her face. “And there’s no way Derek is going to say yes.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Oh, I’m fairly sure,” Lydia said, finally glancing up. “And I’m sorry I can’t go, Stiles. I have a meeting with a professor who decided my paper wasn’t worth an A, and he’s going to regret that decision immensely.”
“On a Friday night?” Stiles frowned. “What, are you using dinner as a cover for an interrogation or something?”
“That’s precisely what it is.”
Stiles blinked, then rolled his eyes. “You can be terrifying sometimes.”
“That is the point.”
“Come on, Lyds,” Stiles said, jabbing his fork into his food, metal screeching against the plate. That earned a few glances from the other people in the relatively-cheap restaurant Stiles had picked out for his and Lydia’s reunion, but he didn’t really care. He was desperate here. “If Derek says no, then I have to go alone. And then my roommate will try to set me up with his douchey best friend and that guy gives me the creeps.”
“Then just say no.”
“And risk pissing my roommate off? Do you realize how dangerous that is?”
Lydia sighed, setting down her utensils and reaching across the table, catching Stiles’s hand and giving a small squeeze. He hated how reassuring that was. “Why don’t you actually ask Derek before you freak out? It’s been a while since he’s visited anyway.”
“I’m not even that far away,” Stiles grumbled. He’d like to say he wasn’t hurt that Derek never came by Stanford to check-in, but that would be a total lie. 
Even the betas visited more often, though it was usually just to complain about their lives or steal his clothes. But still, they came. Scott came. Stiles’s dad and Lydia came.
But Derek had only been by like, twice in the last semester. Sometimes, Stiles wondered if he was the man’s least favorite pack member.
Okay, he didn’t have to wonder.
Sighing, he poked at his food again, appetite long since gone. He’d ask Scott to go with him if the boy wasn’t basically his brother and a terrible actor. And Stiles had already decided he’d never ask the betas, because he didn’t need that kind of blackmail.
But Stiles had gone throughout his entire first year of college staying far away from everyone else. At first, it had been a supernatural thing. He had trust issues, okay? But then it was just the hassle of getting out there and yeah, Stiles ended up having one or two hookups along the way, but that’s all they were. Hookups.
And now the friends he had made were starting to get pushy. So, Lydia had been Stiles’s first choice, and Derek was his saving grace.
Dammit if that wasn’t a sentence he’d never thought he’d have to say out loud.
-
On a scale from one to ten about scared for his well being, asking Derek Hale to fake date him for a night was right up there at an eleven.
Stiles had long since come to terms with the fact that his hopeless pining was just that. Hopeless pining. He could totally look at Derek without getting butterflies now, but that’s just because he had accepted his fate.
This was crossing a line that Stiles had told himself he would never cross. And damn, if he wasn’t silently panicking.
Derek, on the other hand, just looked bored. “What did you want, Stiles?”
For a long moment, Stiles stayed silent. He’d practiced this in the mirror at least a dozen times, trying to imagine the different ways that Derek could-- would-- say no. And it really wouldn’t be that bad, would it? It wasn’t like Stiles was baring his soul to the werewolf or anything. He was just asking for a small favor.
A small, totally platonic favor. 
“Stiles.”
“O- oh,” Stiles said, snapping back to reality. “Right. I need something from you.”
Derek raised an eyebrow and Stiles winced. He was already going off script and this was so not going to end well. 
“Not like that,” he said, then winced again. “Actually, it’s exactly like that. See, I might have told a few friends that I was seeing someone to get them off my back about dating. But now I’m expected to have a date for some upcoming party.”
Derek’s face remained completely blank. Stiles hated him a little bit for that.
“Lydia can’t come, though.”
“Okay.”
“Oh my god,” Stiles said, burying his face in his hands. Why Derek? Why did his saving grace have to be Derek? “Yeah, okay. And I need you to come instead, dude.”
The words were said into his hands and for a long moment, the only sound was the rest of the cafe around them. Stiles kept his face hidden until he felt like it was safe, peering through his fingers at the werewolf to see that Derek’s expression hadn’t really changed much.
A long moment passed before Derek grunted. “No.”
“N-no?”
“No,” Derek said, taking a long, finishing drink of his coffee and setting it back on the table. The man started to stand and Stiles panicked, jumping to his feet so fast, the table nearly toppled over. 
“Dude, hold up, you can’t just say no and leave!”
“Don’t call me dude,” Derek said, still looking unbothered. He slipped a ten out of his wallet and set it on the table, covering both of their drinks before turning away, heading toward the door.
Stiles was almost too shocked to chase after the man.
“Derek, Derek, wait!”
He caught the man on the sidewalk and Derek sighed, turning around with a tight expression. Like Stiles was being the annoying stubborn one here. “I’m not pretending to be your date, Stiles.”
“It’s just for one night!”
“Why don’t you get an actual one?”
“Because I—” Stiles blinked, then glared. “Because I don’t want one, asshole. I just want to avoid a terrible situation with my roommate’s best friend.”
Derek raised an eyebrow. Stiles did his best not to flush red at that, ducking his head. 
“Look, it’s one night. It’s not like you ever to come by Stanford to hang out or anything anyway. No one will even know it’s a lie. Just think of it like a miniature reunion that might involve straight-up lying to my friends one or two times!”
“And these people are really your friends?”
“I mean,” Stiles said, glancing back up. “They’re normal, you know? They’re not pack, of course, but it’s kind of nice sometimes. To be around normal people.”
Derek’s jaw tightened at that and for a moment, Stiles was worried he’d offended the man. But after a long-suffering second of silence, Derek stuffed his hands into his pockets and rolled his eyes. “Fine, one night. But I’m never doing anything like this again.”
Stiles grinned, pumping a fist into the air. “Yes, dude! Thank you!”
Derek just looked completely done with everything. Holding himself back from doing something stupid like hugging the man, Stiles patted him awkwardly on the shoulder. 
“I’ll be in touch then, Sourwolf. The party is this weekend, so I’m expecting both the leather jacket and Camaro. I get to arrive in style!”
“You’ll take what you get, Stiles.”
“Right, right,” Stiles said, waving a hand through the air. “See you Friday, dude!”
He didn’t get a response, but he hadn’t really expected one. Turning away before Derek could change his mind, Stiles hurried back down the street. And he could’ve sworn he felt the man’s gaze burning into his back.
Stiles’s heart was still slamming against his chest when he turned the corner. Because he couldn’t believe that had actually gone well. Derek Hale was his fake date in less than three days.
Stiles hated himself a little bit for how excited he was.
-
His roommate left for the party first, still talking up his friend who was ‘excited to see how things went tonight’ to which Stiles put on his best smile and just nodded. 
There were a few things about Derek literally being the scariest person Stiles had ever met that might work to his favor. Well, maybe not the scariest person, but Derek could most certainly look terrifying when he wanted to. And Stiles was going to use that to his advantage tonight.
He’d texted Derek a few times over the week, but the man had never texted him back except for one reply that was a simple ‘OK’ to all the messages that Stiles had sent earlier. 
And that totally wasn’t infuriating.
Look, Stiles knew this wasn’t an actual date. And he wasn’t going to fool himself into thinking this could ever go somewhere; his life wasn’t a movie. Yeah, Stiles had been crushing on Derek since he was a sixteen-year-old hyperactive teenager, but he also knew Derek would never feel the same. 
Because Derek Hale was… well, Derek Hale. And Stiles was Stiles.
A lot of things had changed over the years and a lot of things hadn’t. And the things between them would never be anything different.
Stiles still hesitated a moment too long in his dorm room when Derek texted ‘here’. He totally didn’t almost have a panic attack, but things would have been so much easier if it was Lydia coming with him tonight instead of Derek.
Dammit. 
Derek was leaning against the passenger side of the Camaro when Stiles got outside, hands stuffed into the pockets of his leather jacket. And Stiles hated himself for the way his heart skipped a beat at the sight of the man— because could he never wear jeans that actually fit? And Derek Hale in a v-neck should be a literal crime.
The man did not have any rights to be such a sexy… sex god. Fuck.
Stiles tried to calm himself down as he approached the Camaro. He was aware enough of the other people in the parking lot eyeing where Derek stood, cursing at the pang of jealousy he felt at that. Because he was totally over Derek Hale, remember?
Butterflies weren’t a thing when he looked at the werewolf anymore.
“Okay, dude,” Stiles said, pausing in front of the car. “So you came through. Leather jacket, Camaro, and everything. Should I be pleased or worried?”
“You should be thankful,” Derek said, opening the door. Stiles raised an eyebrow and the man rolled his eyes, leaving it open as he moved back around the car to the driver’s side. “I’m the fake date, right? Might as well have some manners.”
“Okay, who are you and what have you done to Derek Hale?”
“Shut up,” Derek said, eyes turning a little red. Stiles swallowed hard and ducked down into the passenger’s seat.
Fucking Derek Hale.
Stiles had made a plan, though. He wasn’t staying at this party any longer than necessary and he was totally using Derek to scare off anyone that dared try to make a move. Because Stiles was doing this for a reason, okay? He missed his privacy. He also— almost— missed the days when he suspected everyone of being some kind of supernatural threat, sicing the betas on anyone he found suspicious.
He always came up empty-handed.
Maybe you just miss Beacon Hills, Scott had told him at one point. And Stiles had proceeded to laugh his ass off for the rest of the day.
Because missing Beacon Hills? Him? There was a threat nearly every other week back home, and Stiles totally didn’t miss running for his life through the preserve more often than not. No, he didn’t miss any of that at all.
Because there was his dad, yeah. But the Sheriff still came to visit when he could— and so did the pack. So honestly, Stiles absolutely had nothing to miss.
Nothing at all.
 “Stiles?”
Stiles blinked, snapping out of his thoughts. He didn’t even realize they’d arrived until the faint sound of music reached his ears and then he silently cursed himself for zoning, meeting Derek's curious gaze.
“Right,” Stiles said, forcing a grin. “We’ll be in and out, I promise.”
“You don’t want to spend time with your friends?”
“Uh, do you?”
He could’ve sworn the man turned a little red at that. But it was probably just his imagination. Derek mumbled something intelligible and climbed out of the car, and Stiles hesitated for only a moment longer before following. 
He’d been to enough college parties so far that he wasn’t terribly overwhelmed right away. Granted, this was the first one before the next semester, so there were a lot more people than he was used to, but Stiles didn’t have anything against crowds. Or, anything too much. It wasn’t like he stuck next to Derek’s side as his social anxiety slowly kicked in or whatever.
Except then, as if the man could read his mind, one arm wrapped around Stiles’s waist. Startling, Stiles shot Derek a confused look and the man only smirked a little before turning his gaze back to the rest of the party.
Stiles hated his treacherous heart skipping yet another beat.
“Okay,” Derek said. “Introduce me.”
Once more, Stiles gave him an open-mouthed look. Derek raised an expectant eyebrow, nodding to the rest of the room, and Stiles took a moment to regain his bearings. Then, shaking his head, he started toward the nearest familiar face.
The girl’s eyes snapped when they were less than a few feet away. Or, well, her eyes snapped to Derek, widening for a moment before fixing on Stiles. “Stiles, hey!”
Stiles grinned, fully aware of Derek’s arm still around his waist. He was tempted to glance over and gauge the man’s expression but forced his eyes to stay forward, trying to remain as relaxed as possible.
“Meg, this is Derek. Derek, this is Meg.”
This time, he did glance over. And the smile on Derek’s face was terrifyingly normal. “It’s nice to meet you, Meg.”
Meg’s smile was wide as she stayed focused on Derek’s face for a moment too long. But Stiles supposed he really couldn’t blame her as he continued to stare too, wondering when the hell Derek Hale had such a disarming smile?
Searching his brain, Stiles tried to remember the last time he’d seen Derek smile. And it left him feeling a little empty when he realized he couldn’t.
“Stiles?”
Blinking a few times, Stiles came snapping back to reality. The smile on Derek’s face had faded a little and he looked more intrigued than anything else now. 
Stiles was pretty sure he blushed as he forced himself to look away. “Sorry,” he said, looking back at Meg. “Derek is a… friend of mine.”
The girl raised an eyebrow. “Just a friend?”
“Uh—”
“New boyfriend,” Derek said, before Stiles could mess everything up. Though he might still have, jolting a little bit and giving Derek a bewildered stare.
The man returned his look with an easy smirk. Shaking his head, Stiles tore his gaze away. “Yeah,” he said, words sticking a little. “Boyfriend.”
He didn’t even know how to begin approaching any of this. But Meg just nodded, still smiling, and Stiles stayed stuck in his head for a moment longer before they were moving along again, toward yet another voice calling his name.
Derek smiled the entire time. Through every friend, every stranger. The man made polite small talk and only removed his arm from around Stiles’s waist to shake a hand or readjust, always pulling Stiles right back in seconds later.
There were a few times Stiles looked down into his drink and wondered faintly if it was spiked— and all of this was just some kind of massive hallucination.
He didn’t know how to deal with what was happening.
See, when he’d imagined tonight, staying up for hours panicking, he’d imagined it being awkward as hell. Sometimes, he worried Derek might rip his throat out if he said the wrong thing. In front of everyone would be how Stiles Stilinski went.
But it was all so normal. All so painfully normal that Stiles didn’t know what to do with himself.
“Yo, Stiles!”
He startled so hard, Derek glanced over in concern. But Stiles didn’t have a chance to say anything before his roommate was moving across the room, cup in hand with another guy at his side— one with an athletic build and the type of expression that reminded Stiles a little too much of Jackson.
He shuddered at that thought. “Hey, Vincent.”
“This is Brad,” Vincent said, nudging his friend in the ribs. Brad grinned and raised his cup, eyes raking up and down where Stiles stood. His skin crawled a little bit at that and, arm still circled around his waist, he was surprised to feel Derek’s grip tighten. 
“Uh, yeah, right. Nice to meet you, Brad.”
“And this is?” Brad said, jerking his head toward Derek. When Stiles glanced over, Derek’s eyes were hard and his lips were pressed tightly together. And there was that type of murderous expression that Stiles had dragged the werewolf here for in the first place. 
“This is Derek,” Stiles said, when it was clear Derek wasn’t going to say anything. Which was another first for the night.
Vincent looked a bit uncomfortable, offering a small nod. Brad almost looked nervous too, but he kept his chin up, that cocky smile slowly making its way back onto his face as the seconds ticked past.
“So, Stiles,” he said, turning his shoulder toward Derek. That’s when Stiles heard the first sound of a growl. “What are you doing after this?”
“Uh,” Stiles hesitated for a second. “I think we might just head back to the dorm.”
“We?”
“Derek and I.”
Brad’s smile tightened a fraction. He glanced back at Derek for only a second before scoffing. “Seriously?”
Stiles blinked. But before he could say a word, Vincent stepped in.
“There’s another party going on just down the street that we were going to check out,” he said, glancing sideways at his friend. Brad shrugged. “Then we’re gonna hit the bar on 18th street. You should come.”
Derek’s grip was tight enough that it was starting to hurt now. Stiles shifted, nudging the man in the side with his elbow. He could still swear he could hear the slightest growl coming from Derek’s throat— which wouldn’t prove to be good for anyone.
“I don’t know,” Stiles said. Because that wasn’t the plan. He hadn’t planned on going anywhere after the party except back to his dorm. “I think we might call it a night soon.”
“Lame,” Brad muttered, low enough that Stiles barely caught it. But Derek definitely growled this time and Brad looked at him in surprise. Then the boy’s eyes narrowed. “Dude, what the hell is wrong with your eyes?”
Stiles’s heart stopped and he whipped sideways, meeting Derek’s gaze. And yep, that was a hint of red in Derek’s usually grey-green eyes. Vincent started to follow his friend’s gaze too but before he could, Stiles stepped between them, taking both of Derek’s hands.
“Dude,” he hissed, alarm rising in his throat. “What are you doing?”
Derek just clenched his jaw, lowering his eyes to the floor. Glancing over his shoulder, Stiles chuckled nervously and situated himself so he was still standing as Derek’s only barrier.
“We’re just gonna go now. Bad, uh, dinner earlier.”
“What?”
“See you later, Vinc.”
Before either Stiles’s roommate or his douche of a best friend could say anything, Stiles steered Derek away. The party had worn down some and he was able to make it to the front door without incident, ducking past a few people crowded around it and pulling Derek out into the night.
The moment they were across the lawn and close enough to the Camaro, Stiles spun right back around.
“Derek, what the hell was that about?”
Derek pulled his hands away, folding his arms over his chest and shooting a venomous glance toward the frat house. “I did what you asked of me, didn’t I? Brad won’t be asking you out anywhere if he knows what’s good for him.”
“Dude,” Stiles said, staring. “You nearly went Alpha on his ass.”
“Would that have been a bad thing?”
“Would that have been a— yes, Sourwolf, that would have been a very bad thing!”
Derek just grunted, not looking convinced. And the entire one-eighty was so sudden, Stiles’s head was spinning. He shook his head, running a hand through his hair.
“Okay, well that party is over.”
“You didn’t seem to be having much fun anyway,” Derek said. Stiles blinked at him.
“What?”
“You were anxious and bored the entire time,” Derek said. “A combination which I didn’t know was possible until tonight.”
“I was— I was not.”
Derek gave him a flat look. Stiles frowned.
“Whatever. I just wanted to get it over with.”
“Which is why you brought me along,” Derek said. For a moment, the entire ‘Alpha’ bravado actually seemed to drop and he looked a little bothered. “To scare off your supposed friends and make sure they never invited you anywhere ever again, right?”
“Woah, woah, wait. My supposed friends?”
Derek raised an eyebrow. Stiles’s frown turned to a glare as anger crashed over him.
“That’s nowhere near true.”
“You said it yourself,” Derek said hotly. “They’re not pack. They’re normal. But that’s not what you want, is it, Stiles?”
“Why the hell isn’t that something I would want?”
“Because you’re not normal!”
Stiles drew back, a pang shooting through him at the sight of Derek’s red eyes and furious expression. For a moment, he just looked at Derek, Derek looked back, and then the man growled, turning his face away until his eyes were back to normal again.
“I did what you asked, Stiles. Should I drive you back to your dorm now?”
Stiles stood there for another second, throat tight. Then, without a word, he turned toward the Camaro. Because he really didn’t trust himself with words at the moment.
Derek took a little while longer to follow. There was no opening of the passenger side door when he stalked over, unlocking the car and climbing into the driver’s seat before slamming it closed.
There was no talking either, when the man slid the keys into the ignition. Stiles clicked his seatbelt in and glared out the window, listening to the faint sound of music where the frat house seemed to glow neon blue from the lights inside. 
And damn, if he hadn’t imagined this night going a lot of different ways.
But somehow, it had still gone off the rails.
-
When they pulled up in front of his dorm, the parking lot was empty and the one street light barely cast enough light for Stiles to see ten feet in front of him.
He climbed silently out of the Camaro, surprised to see Derek do the same. The man looked at him over the top of the car and Stiles swallowed hard, holding his gaze for a moment before turning away.
“Stiles.”
He froze, cursing himself silently. Stiles could hear the man’s footsteps on the asphalt as Derek moved around the car, finally lifting his eyes to meet grey-green again. 
“Look, Derek, I know tonight went worse than expected, but—”
“Did you like what happened back there?”
Stiles blinked, clamping his mouth shut again. Derek’s face turned a little red and he dropped his gaze.
“I mean, do you like how normal things here usually are?”
Oh.
Stiles stayed quiet, thinking Derek’s words over for a moment. In truth, something about it had been unsettling. Not the party, not the crowd. Derek, maybe. Stiles thought he’d love to see the man smile more and engage in conversation that easily somewhere else. Anywhere else.
But only if it were real. It had to be real.
“Is all of this what you want?” Derek asked, voice barely a whisper. Stiles sighed.
“No,” he said. Derek glanced up, looking startled, and he shrugged. “Or… not like that.”
The man raised an eyebrow. Stiles swallowed hard.
“It’s nice sometimes, you know? I know who these people are, Derek. They’re not supernatural. They’re not going to rip my throat out one day or get killed by a bunch of psycho hunters who think they’d be better as trophies than people.”
Derek winced. Stiles scoffed.
“No,” he said. “They’re not pack. But I’ve spent enough of my life lying about everything that all of this doesn’t seem like much of an issue anymore.”
“So am I a part of the lie now too, then?”
Stiles met the man’s gaze carefully. He wasn’t sure if it was the dim light of the street lamp or the fact that he’d drunk a little too much at the party, but Derek looked downright vulnerable. And this time, it actually seemed real. “I don’t want you to be.”
There was a flicker of red in the werewolf’s eyes. Stiles shook his head.
“I mean, we can totally pretend this whole fake dating thing never happened and go back to our previous arrangement or whatever, but—”
He didn’t get the chance to finish that sentence.
Because suddenly, Derek was kissing him.
Stiles’s brain logged offline for a moment. There was the strangest noise and then he realized it had come from him, Derek’s hand cupping the back of his neck as the man kissed him hard and deep, something about the cool night air and the fact that Stiles was not dreaming making the entire world pause around him for a long moment.
Up close, Derek smelled like leather and pine. There was no alcohol on his breath, though Stiles was pretty sure the taste of college beer had to be on his. Which was a strange thought, he figured, closing his eyes as Derek carded a hand through his hair and then finally, finally, he surged forward to kiss the man back.
Maybe a little more hard and hungry. Maybe a little more wanting and hoping that this was real. That this wasn’t part of another lie.
This couldn’t be part of another lie.
Derek growled at the back of his throat, the sound sending shivers down Stiles’s spine. And it was all wolf and one-hundred percent possessive. Nothing normal, nothing ordinary about it.
And dammit, if Stiles had been dreaming about this since he was an idiot teenager ogling werewolf abs when he thought no one was looking.
What had he told Lydia? The chance of Derek ever falling for him was once in a blue moon. Stiles was pretty sure the moon was not blue-- so did this count as falling? He blinked when Derek broke the kiss, drawing away, and there were sparks of red in the man’s eyes that faded ever so slowly.
For a moment, neither of them said anything. Derek watched him almost nervously, chest rising and falling a little faster than usual.
Stiles blinked again. Once, twice. He was pretty sure this wasn’t a dream.
“Stiles?”
“That was real,” Stiles said, finally taking a breath. The man’s eyebrows drew together and he actually looked a little amused.
“It was.”
“Derek Hale just kissed me, even though the moon was not blue.”
Grey-green eyes flicked upward and then Derek gave him a strange look. But Stiles was still trying to process, touching his lips experimentally and then squinting at the werewolf, reaching out to touch the man’s cheek. 
And yeah, that was Derek Hale’s beard. Stiles breathed out a quiet ‘fuck’ and Derek rolled his eyes.
“Are you done?”
“One more time,” Stiles said, moving forward. Before Derek could react, he was kissing the man again, one hundred percent online this time as Derek stiffened in surprise, then growled, kissing him hard back. Stiles couldn’t tell which was more hungry this time.
It wasn’t normal. Nothing about this was normal.
But Stiles figured if anything was going to be out of the ordinary, it would be who he was not single and lonely with. There was something about Derek Hale happening once in a blue moon and dammit, if Stiles wasn’t going to latch on and never let go.
Once in a blue moon, he thought. But this moon wasn’t blue.
And maybe that made it so much better.
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kuroopaisen · 4 years
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tiny love || vi
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➵ as tooru’s younger sister, falling in love with iwaizumi hajime was easy. iwaizumi ultimately decided to rebuff you. through a few strange twists of fate, you’ve ended up living with the very boy who’d broken your heart. but, perhaps it’s not as bad as you thought it’d be
warnings: f!reader, depictions of implied social anxiety 
wc: 5.3k
m.list | ch. 5 ↞ ch. 6↠ ch. 7
The restaurant was tacky, but it was enough to remind you of home – even if it was in the most cliché ways possible. All of the cultural ‘nods’ are cheesy as a tourist trap, but Iwaizumi had told you that it was run by a family of Japanese migrants. Apparently, the food made that obvious.
“What do you recommend?” You asked, peering closely at the menu.
It was written in both English and Japanese, much to your relief. Most of the dishes offered seem like staples, too; you could grab most of these at some little outlet near your home in Miyagi.
“The rice bowls are pretty good,” Iwaizumi said.
“Should I get one with karaage or vegetable tempura?”
“You prefer karaage, right?”
You blinked at him for a moment. He remembers that?
“Both are good,” he shrugged, as if he hadn’t just made your heart jump.
“What are you gonna get?” You asked.
“Probably just some agedashi tofu and then an oyakodon.”
“Ah,” you nodded. You remembered that he’d shown a fondness for both dishes several years ago. Some things didn’t change.
Another silence fell over you. You wanted to say more, to think of something interesting to say. But nothing came to mind.
“Ah, Iwaizumi!”
You looked towards the source of the voice.
The owner was a cute girl with long black hair tied up in a ponytail, with bright and an apron wrapped around her waist.  
Iwaizumi turned to smile at her. “Hi.”
“How’ve you been?” She asked in perfect Japanese.
“Good,” he nodded. “Just trying to get ready for uni.”
“Of course, of course…” She hummed. “Did you just get back?”
“Yeah.” He turned to nod in your direction. “This is my new roommate.”
You blushed, giving the waitress a little wave as he introduced you.
She turned to you and beamed, giving you a little nod in return. “It’s nice to meet you!”
“You too,” you smiled.
The waitress fished a notebook and a pen out of the front pocket of her apron, turning back to Iwaizumi. “The usual, I presume?”
“Mhm,” he chuckled.
“And what would you like?” She asked, turning to you.
“I’d like a karaage rice bowl, thank you.”
“Perfect,” the waitress beamed once more. “I’ll let Youta know right now.”
With that she hurried off in a flurry, making a beeline straight for the kitchen.
Once you were sure she was safely out if earshot, you turned to Iwaizumi.
“How often do you come here?” You teased. You couldn’t help it.
“More than I should,” Iwaizumi chuckled. “My wallet doesn’t thank me for it.”
You smiled, folding your hands in your lap.
“It reminds me of home,” he said quietly.
You didn’t know what to say to that. It’s a vulnerable statement, one that caught you off-guard. You felt like there was more to it, more woven between those words. Should you respond to what you thought was unsaid? Or to the simple statement he’d said out-loud?
You never knew what to do when it came to Iwaizumi.
“I’m glad you found it,” is what you settled on, your voice soft against the din of the restaurant. You meant it.
Iwaizumi smiled at you. “Me too.”
He was making an effort. A real, genuine effort to make this as smooth as possible.
And you were trying to return that energy, to help the two of you make this unfortunate arrangement work. But you knew it wouldn’t be easy. Perhaps this strange energy would hang over the two of you for the rest of the semester, until you found someone to escape with.
But God, was it hard.
✧ ✧ ✧
“Thanks for this,” you blushed, digging your hands into the fabric of the skirt.
“No problem,” Iwaizumi smiled.
Fall was in full swing as the two of you drove down the street, the air temperate enough as you made your way towards university. Iwaizumi had told you it wasn’t long until it got quite chilly.
“What class have you got?” He asked.
“Uh… PSYCH 9A,” you said. You were stuck firmly between excitement and dread, the conflicting emotions grappling for space in your heart. All your classes would be in English and while you certainly weren’t bad at it – you’d been one of the best in your grade – you knew that what was taught in a classroom was very different to what was actually used in practice.
“I did that last year,” he said.
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “I did it as one of my general education courses.”
“Right,” you replied. The world flew by your window, a flurry of brown and green and beige. There was a lot to think about; too much, in your opinion. It was hard not to get caught up in all your anxieties, letting them eat away at you like a pack of rats.
“You worried?” Iwaizumi’s voice was far more understanding than it had any right to be.
You sighed, looking at the bag plopped between your feet. “I’m scared I won’t be able to keep up.”
He nodded. “That’s understandable.”
You pressed your lips together, frowning. “If I fall behind in the first week, then…”
“You’ll pick it up quicker than you’d expect,” he smiled, “I promise.”
Most of your conversations over the past few days had been in English, per your request. Iwaizumi had complied. You were jealous of just how comfortable he seemed speaking the language. But the upside was that it’d only been a year for him. If he was already this good, then perhaps you could be, too.
“If you need help, just ask,” he said. He’d been saying that a lot recently.
You bit your lip, your gaze still turned towards the floor.
You couldn’t deny that he had, in fact, been exceptional. Anything you needed, he provided. Any question you had, he answered.
He’d helped you find your way around, showed you the best (and cheapest) places to hang out at, recommended the best dictionary apps, and he’d made you dinner every night.
He was looking after you. Well.
Perhaps that was why Tooru had been so keen on the idea of the two of you living together. If only he knew…
The car slowed to a stop. You jumped, too lost in your own thoughts to realise what was going on. Your head flew up, looking around like a meerkat.
Iwaizumi unbuckled himself and got out of the car, leaving you alone. You leant down and grabbed your bag, placing it in your lap.
Deep breath, you thought. You can do this.
Your door opened.
Iwaizumi was holding it open for you. Of course he was.
Part of you wouldn’t be surprised if he’d laid out a bloody carpet for you so you didn’t have to worry about the dirt.
You gave him a little nod of thanks as you got out of the car and slung your bag over your shoulder.
Oh. Oh.
“Well, this is it,” he said, gesturing to the cluster of buildings that laid before you.
It looked so clean, a concrete forest of russet. And it was so big. So ludicrously big.
How many people were here? How many people could fit on this campus? How easy was it to get lost? Just how many classrooms were there?
Seijoh had felt big to you, once. Now it seemed like just a blip.
“Where’s your class?” Iwaizumi asked, closing the door.
“Uh…” You fished your phone out of your pocket, showing him your timetable.
He looked at it for a moment before nodding. “Follow me.”
You scurried after him, trying to take stock of your surroundings as best you could. It was all so different – so big, so official, so… grown-up. This was certainly a place you could get lost in; would you even see most of it in the next four years? That seemed impossible.  
Iwaizumi walked slowly, letting you take your time. You said nothing as you ambled on, your mind racing. What did the inside of all these buildings look like? Which ones would your classes be in? What sorts of people would be in your classes? Would you make friends? Would you get a boyfriend?
“Hey.” Iwaizumi’s voice had that gentle firmness it always had when he was scolding Tooru.
“Hm?” You looked at him, a little confused.
“We’re here,” he nodded towards a big building to your left. You weren’t sure if you would’ve been able to distinguish it yourself if you’d been left to your own bearings.
“Thank you,” you smiled up at him. “You really didn’t have to.”
He shrugged. “I remember being intimidated by campus when I first came here. It’s easy to get lost, especially when you’re not fluent in English.”
That much was true. You were speaking to each other in Japanese, after all.
“Right…” You nodded.
“Good luck,” he nodded in return, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
“Thank you,” you said, giving him a small bow. It doesn’t feel like enough of the thanks for the last week.
Iwaizumi shook his head. “You don’t have to do that here.”
You straightened up and blinked at him. “Right.”
“Will you be able to get back alright?” He asked.
“Yes,” you said, with a little too much confidence. In all honesty, you have no idea if you could – something to do with buses, probably.
You couldn’t keep relying on Iwaizumi like this. It’s not that you’re humiliated, per se, but more that you didn’t want to be a burden.
You could do this. You could grab this new life of yours by the throat and take control.
But you also couldn’t ignore the hammering in your chest as you took your first steps into your undergraduate career.
✧ ✧ ✧
“Sorry about this,” you mumbled, biting the inside of your cheek as you slipped into the passenger’s seat.
“It’s fine,” Iwaizumi said, offering you a warm smile. Somehow he even managed to make the interior lighting of his car seem flattering.
You’d managed to make your way home on public transport well enough for the first few days, but all of your classes had finished before three in the afternoon.
Tonight’s class finished at six. The idea of trying to navigate your way back to the apartment had been more nerve-wracking than you could bear.
Your first instinct had been to call Iwaizumi.
A small irritation scratched at the back of your mind. It felt independence had just been in reach, tantalisingly close. But all of that bravery had ended up being an illusion. That’s how you felt, at least.
You bit back a sigh, gazing out the window.
The streetlights cast a warm glow on the pavement as a few students ambled along, rapt in conversation. Occasionally, their faces would light up with laughter – a cruel yet unintentional reminder that your own social life had been dead on arrival.
But you’re happy for these people, at least; loneliness was probably the hardest burden you’d had to bear so far. And you were living with the Iwaizumi Hajime.  
“How was your first week?” He asked.
“I’m doing okay,” you admitted. “Sometimes I don’t get what they’re saying, but… the lecture slides make it easier to follow along.” It got a little easier with each class, but you had the suspicion that it would take a while for you to properly adapt.
“Are your lecturers nice?”
You nodded. “Thankfully.”
“Good,” Iwaizumi chuckled. “And your classmates?”
You shook your head. “I haven’t spoken to any of them. Too scared.”
“Ah…” He was silent for a moment, seemingly turning something over in his head.
“What about you?” You asked, desperate to shift the attention away from your failed social life.
“It’s going well,” he nodded. “I’ve been able to get into the rhythm of it pretty quickly.”
“Good,” you smiled.
It’s understandable enough. He’d had a year to get used to the whole university thing.
How long was it going to take you? Were you ever going to get used to it? Or had this whole move been a big mistake, a risk you shouldn’t’ve taken just to prove you could do it?
You looked up at the sky. The stars weren’t as clear or bright as they were in Miyagi. You always looked up when you and Tooru walked home of an evening, after those long practice sessions he insisted on doing. Or when you and Amaya walked to either of your houses for a sleepover as she pointed at different constellations and told you the stories behind them.
Home felt so far away.
Would you ever feel like you belonged here?
“Hey,” Iwaizumi murmured.
“Hm?”
“Is it okay if I have some friends over tomorrow?”
Your stomach twisted. You weren’t sure why.
People you didn’t know in your house… It felt silly, finding it so scary.
But you weren’t going to deny him his social life.
“Sure,” you answered.
“Cool,” he breathed. He sounded genuinely relieved.
You bit the inside of your cheek. You were sure he was asking to be polite, but the guilt had already seeded itself in your mind. Did he really feel like he couldn’t have people over because you were there? Granted, it’d only been a week. Maybe he thought you weren’t quite settled yet.
God, why’d he have to go and be so considerate? He really was setting the standard too high.
“What do you want for dinner tonight?” He asked.
“I’m fine with anything,” you shrugged.
The least you could do in return for all the help he’d given you was be a respectful roommate.
✧ ✧ ✧
The sound of people engaging in conversation outside your room made your stomach swell.
A few hours ago, Iwaizumi had asked you if you’d like to introduce yourself to his friends. You’d agreed – it would probably do you some good to actually meet some people. He’d said they were all Japanese exchange students themselves, so communication shouldn’t be a problem.
Although, that didn’t make it any less stressful.
You took a deep breath, reaching for your door handle.
You could do this. You just needed to get over the awkward introduction.
The sound of laughter heightened as you pushed your door open, allowing yourself to catch sight of the small group gathered in the living room.
“Hey,” Iwaizumi waved at you, smile on his face and beer in hand.
“Hey,” you said quietly, holding a hand up in greeting.
His friends turned to look at you. You recognized some of the faces from the photos on the wall. Three guys, two girls.
“Hello!” One of the girls called out to you with a wave.
You nodded at her with a smile, taking a few tentative steps towards the group.
“This is Ren,” Iwaizumi said, gesturing to a guy with wavy black hair and bright eyes. He’s far too pretty to meet without a warning.
“Taiki,” Iwaizumi gestured to the boy standing to the left of Ren. He had close-cropped hair and muscles that almost gave Iwaizumi some competition. Almost.
“Mei.” She had long red hair and an enviable sense of style. She looked like the sort of girl you’d be terrified of approaching in high school, simply because she was far too cool for you.
“Haruto.” The guy with the kind smile and brown hair so soft you wanted to touch it. There’s something about him that almost reminds you of Tooru – if Tooru wasn’t such a brat.
“And Yuna.” The other girl, with a brown bob and such sharp eyeliner that you couldn’t help but wonder how stable her hand must be when applying it.
You felt a little embarrassed, just standing there in your lounge clothes; thank God it’s wasn’t your pyjamas, but they’re certainly not clothes you’d wear on a fun outing somewhere.
“It’s nice to meet you,” you blushed, looking at the floor.
A chorus of ‘you too’s erupted from the group, much louder than you’d expected. You managed to supress the urge to flinch.
“What’re your plans?” You asked.
“Oh, we’ll just be playing some board games,” Ren said, waving a hand at you.
“Right,” you nodded. You weren’t quite sure what you were expecting. They all had some kind of beer in hand, so you might’ve expected something a bit more… rowdy. But, you weren’t complaining.
“You should join us!” One of the girls – Yuna, was it? – smiled at you, the expression illuminating her entire face.
You considered it for a moment, each pro and con rushing through your head at lightning speed. You didn’t want to be rude, and it would be nice to spend some time with people other than Iwaizumi…
But they were his friends. Wouldn’t you be intruding? You didn’t want to just barge in and expect to be included just because you happened to live with him.
Yet at the same time, Yuna was smiling at you so kindly. Turning her down would feel rude.
“Sure,” you nodded.
Yuna ushered you over towards the couches, sitting you down next to her. Mei sat on your other side, offering you an unbearably pretty smile.
“What’re you doing?” You asked.
“It’s this card game,” Haruto explained, “each card has a symbol on it, see?” He held two cards up for you to see. Sure enough, both cards had a yellow diamond on them.
You nodded.
“So, they each have a category on them,” he said. You looked between both cards. It took you a moment as they were English words, but one said ‘film’ and the other said ‘animal.’
“Mhm.”
“Now all the cards are placed in a deck in the middle, and on your turn, you take a card and place it face up. If the symbol matches another card on the table, then you need to call out a word that belongs in the category of the other card,” he explained.
You nodded slowly. “So… if I had the animal card and you had the film card, I’d need to call out a film?”
“Exactly right,” he smiled.
“You’ll pick it up as you go along,” Iwaizumi reassured.
“Do I have to say it in English?” You asked.
Haruto shook his head. “You can say something in English or Japanese. No stress.”
“Thanks,” you smiled, breathing a sigh of relief.
“Alright, is everyone ready?” Taiki barked. “I wanna start!”
Suffice to say you didn’t do particularly well for the first few rounds.
It took you a little longer than everyone else to translate the English to Japanese, but you did manage to secure a few wins. Although, that was mainly won off the backs of other people’s mistakes – Taiki, for example, yelled out ‘plant’ for the category of ‘vegetable’.
After the second round, you got up and headed to the kitchen, intent on getting yourself a drink of water.
You opened the fridge door as quietly as you could, not wanting to disturb your guests. You grabbed the water jug, grimacing at how heavy it was.
When you closed it, Iwaizumi was standing right there.
“Fuck!” You jumped, a hand flying to your chest.
“Sorry,” he grinned. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”
You glared at him for a second, only to give up as soon as your wrist started to ache.
“Are you doing alright?” He asked as you plunked the jug on the countertop.
“Yeah,” you nodded, opening one of your cupboards and grabbing a cup. “Yuna’s really nice.”
“Okay, good,” he smiled. From the look on his face, you guessed that he was relieved. “Don’t feel pressured to stay out here,” he said.
“It’s okay, really,” you shook your head, pouring some water into your glass. Some splashed onto the counter despite your best efforts – and you didn’t even have the excuse of being tipsy.
Iwaizumi nodded slowly, still smiling at you. His cheeks were a bit flushed; a key indicator that he was likely a handful of drinks away from ‘well and truly drunk.’
You held the water out to him instinctively. He took it from you, only for confusion to blossom across his face.
“Huh?”
“You should probably drink some,” you said, rather lost yourself. “So you don’t get a hangover.”
“Oh,” he swallowed. “Right.”
He brought the cup to his lips and tipped it back. You busied yourself with getting another glass – there was no way you were just going to stand there and watch him drink. God knew where your mind might go, and you didn’t like it.
“Let me know if you need anything,” Iwaizumi said, placing the now-empty cup back on the counter.
“Thanks,” you smiled.
Once you’d finally gotten your own cup of water (that you hadn’t handed to Iwaizumi for no good reason), you scampered back to the couch and settled down in your spot between Yuna and Mei.
They’d swapped the first card game out for another – the rules were that one person had a card with a word on it, and they had to try and explain it without using said word.
They cycled through a fair few games, burning through casket of beer after casket of beer. The hours burned on faster than you could keep track, but you didn’t mind. You were laughing too much to care.
“Oh, shit,” Iwaizumi mumbled, staring at his phone.
“Hm?” Taiki sniffed. His face was bright red, but he didn’t seem to care. “Is it Misaki?”
Iwaizumi nudged him with his knee as he grumbled something under his breath. Whether you liked it or not, the name Misaki was lodged firmly in the back of your brain.
“I was gonna say it’s three in the morning,” Iwaizumi grunted.
“Oh,” Yuna gasped, whipping out her own phone. “Fuck.”
“Do buses even run this late?” Mei grimaced.
“I have no idea,” Yuna bit her lip, her brow creasing.
“You guys can crash here if you want,” Iwaizumi offered.
“All of us?” Mei raised an eyebrow at him.
“Why not?” He asked.
“I don’t know about Yuna, but I don’t want to be snuggled up against any of these fools,” Mei grimaced, waving a hand at the three guys.
“What do you mean?” Ren whined.
“There’s only so much room on these couches,” Mei shrugged.
“I guess we can sleep on the floor,” Haruto mumbled.
“I’ve been told you snore,” Mei said.
“And?”
“I’m a light sleeper.”
Haruto scoffed. “How do you even know whether or not I snore?”
“Well, Maka—”
“Alright,” Haruto held his hands up, shaking his head.
An idea brewed in the back of your mind. It’s not a perfect solution, but it could certainly save any of them an early morning trek back to their own apartments.
You took a deep breath, trying to build up the confidence to speak up.
“The girls can stay in my room, if they’d like,” you said quietly.
Every head turned to face you. Yikes.
“Are you sure?” Iwaizumi asked.
“Mhm!” You nodded, trying to look as enthusiastic as possible. “I don’t mind. And I can promise you I don’t snore,” you said, turning to Mei.
She giggled, shaking her head. “You’re an angel.”
You beamed at that little affirmation.
“I owe you one,” Iwaizumi grinned, ruffling your hair fondly. Your cheeks bloomed red; although, that didn’t really stand out amongst this bunch.
You nodded at him, turning on your tail and fleeing to your room.
The girls were already in there, inspecting the wall above your desk. You’d stuck some photos up the other day on a whim; a bunch of polaroids and four-by-sixes arranged in something that resembled a neat collage.
“These are so cute,” Yuna cooed, turning to pout at you.
“Thanks,” you giggled.
“Look at you!” She whined, pointing at a picture of your graduation. Amaya and another one of your friends stand either side of you, your smiles bright and brilliant as you each cradled a bouquet of flowers. It might only have been a few months ago, but you felt like you looked far younger.
“You’re adorable,” Mei pouted.
It felt a bit weird, having people you barely knew in your space like this. But this was at least an echo of the college experience, right? Two drunk girls calling you cute while you were strikingly sober… Sounded about right.
It kind of reminded you of all those sleepovers during your school years. There’s something comforting in that.
Yuna suddenly froze.
“Everything alright?” You asked, tensing up yourself.
“Who is that?” She hissed, pointing at a new photo.
You stepped forward to get a better look at who she was talking about.
Oh. Tooru.
It’s a photo you’d taken with him last winter, when he’d come back to Japan for a week. By that time, he’d gotten quite tanned, and he’d really bulked up. Whatever he was doing in Argentina, it was paying off. Although, you could do without his bragging.
“That’s my brother,” you said, fighting the urge to roll your eyes. You didn’t mean any ill will; you were just quite used to girls asking you about your brother. Usually, you just told them they could do much better.
Yuna gaped at you. “Your brother?”
“Mhm,” you nodded. “He’s currently in Argentina.” You didn’t really know what else to say.
“That’s not that far away,” Mei mused.
“I’m pretty sure it’s still like… a twenty-hour flight away,” you giggled.
“But it’s closer than Japan,” Mei tsked.
“If your brother ever comes to visit,” Yuna said calmly, “let us know.”
You were about to respond when Yuna gasped loudly.
“Is that Hajime?” She hissed, pointing at another photo.
It’s one from Tooru’s graduation, this time. It’s also the only photo of Iwaizumi on your wall. Makki and Mattsun are also in it, grinning brilliantly as they held Tooru in a headlock. You were at the side, laughing at your brother, as Iwaizumi watched the scene fondly.
“Yeah,” you chuckled. “He’s best friends with my brother.”
“Aw, that’s so cute,” Mei cooed. “Why didn’t he ever tell us that his best friend looked like that?”
“You never looked at the photos out in the living room?” You asked.
“Oh,” Mei blinked. “Well, it looks like a bunch of men from far away, so I wasn’t interested.”
“I didn’t even realise there were photos in the front room,” Yuna mumbled.  
You giggled again, shaking your head. You had no idea how you were going to get these two to settle and go to bed, but you’re pretty sure you don’t regret letting them stay here.
This was the most fun you’d had ever since you landed in California.
✧ ✧ ✧
You’d balked when Iwaizumi had first promised to ‘teach you’ how to go grocery shopping.
But standing in the middle of the Asian Grocer, surrounded by more cuts of meat than you could ever conceive, you realised that it was wise to listen to what he had to say.
You’d spent an absurd amount of time going through each isle as Iwaizumi pointed out the bargains – many of which had to do with bulk buying – and discussing what the cheapest version of each item was, and when it was best to sacrifice cost for quality.  
“Oh, by the way,” he said, interrupting your intense observation of the swath of shaved pork staring at you from the freezer.
You turned to look at him expectantly.
“I didn’t say thanks for letting Yuna and Mei stay in your room.”
You shook your head. “It’s fine.”
“I’m sorry for putting that on you,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t expect everyone to stay so late.”
“I said it’s fine,” you chuckled. “I offered. And I wouldn’t have felt good about them all heading home that early in the morning.”
Iwaizumi smiled at you softly for a moment.
You swallowed, turning back to the meat. “They seem nice,” you said. You weren’t sure what else you were supposed to say.
Iwaizumi nodded. “Yeah. Taiki can be a brat though.”
“More or less of a brat than Tooru?” You grinned.
“Oh, less,” Iwaizumi answered immediately.
You giggled, opening the freezer and grabbing a random Styrofoam pallet of meat. You’d spent far too long in this section; long enough that you were getting cold.
“Where’d you meet them?” You asked, putting the pallet in the basket slung over Iwaizumi’s forearm.
“Uh, Taiki’s from the gym. The others are from the Japanese Students Association.”
Your ears perked up at that. “The Japanese Students Association?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “That’s where I met most of my friends, actually.”
“Really?”
“It’s much easier than making friends in your classes,” he smiled.
You chewed on your cheek for a moment. Admittedly, the whole ‘making friends in class’ plan wasn’t going well for you. There was hardly any time to properly socialise, and you never knew when it was okay to strike up a conversation. Maybe if you were still in Japan, you’d have an easier time navigating this torrid new social landscape.
But you just didn’t know what was considered rude or weird or even creepy here.
“You should join,” he suggested. When you caught his eye, he was already looking at you, a touch of concern on his brow.
“You think?”
“It’s a good way of getting to know people,” he shrugged. “I joined when I felt lonely last year.”
The words hit you harder than you thought they would. “I’m sorry,” you frowned.
“It’s fine,” he chuckled. “Anyway, they’re having a party soon.”
“Are they?”
He nodded. “To ‘kick off’ the semester or something. It’s really just an excuse to get shit-faced.”
You laughed. “Really?”
“That’s what all uni parties are for,” he grinned.
You considered it for a moment.
A party… you’d never really been to one before. Not an Americanised party, anyway. Not one where everyone got absurdly drunk.
Alone, surrounded by unfamiliar drunk people, in a city you don’t know…
Your stomach lurched.
You wanted to be brave. You wanted to put yourself out there. But the thought did nothing but make your skin crawl. Maybe you were just being paranoid, but it sounded dangerous.
“You okay?” Iwaizumi asked.
You blinked up at him. “Oh, yeah, I…” You turned your attention to the floor. “I just don’t think I’ll go.”
“Why not?”
“I think I’d just feel…” You paused for a moment, trying to think of the mildest way to say what you were feeling. “I think I’d feel a little uncomfortable.”
You braved a glance at him.
He was pressing his lips together, a thoughtful frown on his face.
A knot of guilt twisted in your stomach. You were making him worry again. That’s all you seemed to have done since you’d been here. You knew he’d offered to live with you, but it’s like you’ve been nothing but a burden ever since you’d arrived.
And you hated that more than anything. You hated making him worry. You hated giving him reason for concern. All because you couldn’t go to a stupid party on your own.
“I could come with you, if you’d like.”
His offer surprised you.
Maybe you should’ve expected him to say something like that. And usually, the thought of going to a party with him would make you feel like you wanted to throw up.
But you’d survived the past few weeks. And Iwaizumi looked like that. No weird asshole was going to try and approach you or make you feel uncomfortable if he was standing next to you.
“If it’s not too much trouble,” you said sheepishly.
Iwaizumi smiled, shaking his head. “Not at all.”
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