#for royalty only. which makes sense given royalty's whole deal

[random-fandom-inserts]

Hi, could I please request prompt 25 "Is it that hard to believe I love you?" with the Pied Piper? Thanks so much!

Sure! Sorry if the plot's a little boring I had an idea from a similar story I wrote, but I hope you like it!💖

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Apocalyptic Far Far Away

You wake up in a much different world than you remember, and you are horrified to find that the man you love has no recollection of you at all.

#25 “Is it that hard to believe that I love you?”

The last thing you remember was going to bed to the sound of your lover's flute. It was a soft and peaceful harmony that the gentle man you knew would play every night for you before going to bed. His presence soft and eyes warm would make you feel safe. The place you and the Piper lived in was small and kind of run down (not to mention the rats), but it was home.

However, when you woke up, you most definitely were NOT home.

The bed was plush and very comfortable, like something for royalty. There was shades of red, gold, and white all over the room. Heavily confused and concerned (thinking you were somehow kidnapped), you slowly got out of the bed which revealed some fancy-looking clothes that were laying out. You ran a hand over them, fear beginning to set in you.

Suddenly, the door swung open to reveal a man of short stature, flanked on either side by witches.

"Look who's awake!" He said cheerfully, which made you feel uneasy for some reason. However, with more observation, you began to realize who the ginger was.

Rumpelstiltskin.

"Where am I?" You asked in concern, clutching your hands to your chest.

And thus, you were given explanation to your change of life. Apparently, a deal was made with him that made the whole world turn upside down. Every event that happened back in the old world was changed, and everything familiar was different. Rumpel was set to be the new king of Far Far Away, and you were told that you...you get to rule by his side. The way he said it was so possessive, like you were an object.

It made you sick.

Turns out those clothes were set there for you, and seeing no other option, you changed and made your way to the throne room. You felt like a prisoner. You sat beside the small man, who was talking about something along the lines of bounty hunters and ogres, you weren't really listening. All you could do was sit there in despair. Here you were in another apocalyptic world, where you were set to marry another man who was not your true love. That made you wonder something.

What happened to Pied Piper in this world without you?

"Mr. Stiltskin, he's here." You barely registered what was being said.

Just as thoughts spun around in your head, the sound of familiar flute entered your senses. However, instead of being soft and peaceful, it sent a chill down your spine. Your eyes landed on a sight that broke your heart as a bunch of rats scattered throughout the area and a pair of dark boots hit the floor. Your gaze traveled upwards to see the face of the man you knew so well.

But right now, the sight of him hurt you.

He was dressed all in dark colors which matched the look in his eyes. Pied Piper seemed devoid of emotion and full of something that you couldn't quite place. From what you gathered, he was some sort of bounty hunter, still holding that flute. That was the only thing about him that stayed the same. But this definitely wasn't the gentle man you knew. That being said, there had to be some part of him that felt the same. Right?

"Piper!" You cried before you could stop yourself. Getting to your feet (and shocking everyone), you rushed over to him and brought him into a tense embrace.

His scent, the fact your head still fit in the crook of his neck, his warmth, and the sound of his heartbeat...that was all still there.

But when you pulled away, a smile on your face and tears in your eyes, your smile vanished. Those blue eyes that once held love for you were void. It was if he was looking at a stranger, and you understood, but it still hurt because you knew another him.

"What are you doing?!" You heard Rumpel yell at you, but you paid him no mind. Instead, you just gave the Piper a sad expression, tears threatening to spill.

His gaze suavely went up and down your figure.

Then, he knelt down and gently kissed the back on your hand. It was enough to send familiar shocks through your body. As soon as he got back to his feet, he sent you a smile. It was a different kind of smile from him, yet also so comforting. It made you smile back, and for a second, you felt you had your man back.

But then Rumpel had to come and ruin things.

"This is Y/N, you know, my fiancé! We're going to get married very soon, and-" His aggressive words soon fell on deaf ears as tears came back to your eyes. Those words were a reminder that things would never be the same again.

Looking back at Pied Piper, you saw that his gaze had once again turned dark, and he began to fiddle with his flute. Then, with one last unsure glance at you, he left to go do whatever he was brought here to do.

And as for you, well, you left the room despite some protests and found a hallway to cry in.

A lot of events happened thus forth, and it was hard for you to believe that it was only one day. The chaos that ensued by the rebellion allowed to escape the confinement and flee to the forest. Even if there was no way for you to get your old life back, you refused to be married to another man. You were certain you were far enough away once the noise died down. As soon as you could, you sat down and leaned against a tree, bringing your knees up to your chest.

"Why...?" You muttered while battering your eyes to keep tears from falling.

You nearly jumped when you felt someone sit beside you.

"Piper..." You breathed, suddenly feeling more reassured. The man in dark looked downtrodden, eyes cast away and flute not even prepped for playing. His eyes cast over at you for just a second, lips in a thin line before looking away again. He seemed to be feeling just as lost and alone as you did in that very moment.

"Say...do you believe that you could have had another life...like, in another reality almost?" You asked him, glancing over with a small smile. Piper leaned up a bit, resting his back against the tree. He glanced over at you before shrugging, not too sure how to answer.

However, after a couple of moments, he had a faraway look in his eyes and nodded.

Without thinking once more, you moved to hug him. But this time, he pushed you away a little. Once away, you looked at him to see not only confusion but also resentment.

"Of course...I know you don't know who I am..." You sat back a bit, resting your hands in your lap. In this world, he was alone and without anybody to love. No wonder he was so dark and seemingly empty; without you Piper had no one. He must believe he was unlovable. After all, who could love someone as cursed as he was?

He shook his head at your words.

"In another world...I love you..." You said it presently and proudly. Your feelings have not changed despite the differences in the man before you.

But he just shook his head again, looking away. It broke your heart.

“Is it that hard to believe that I love you?” You asked him quietly, and his jaw tensed. Obviously, this Pied Piper would have no memories of any tender moments with you. In fact, he probably has none period. This whole world was depressing after all.

"Piper..." You mused, leaning closer to stroke his cheek. He tensed, but didn't shove you away.

"I just want you back." You whispered, a tear falling down your cheek as you finally accepted that you may never have him again.

But just as your tear hit the ground, the world went dark...

When you opened your eyes, you found the morning sun hitting them back, causing you to squeeze your eyes shut once more. Shifting around, you noticed the creakiness of the bed. Once your senses set in, you smelled the musk of wood, and even heard the faint squeaking of a rat or two.

But most of all, you felt a familiar warmth touching your skin.

Heart beating fast, you looked up and noticed the Piper sleeping soundly and holding you close. Even from here, you could tell that his appearance was much brighter and happier than his alternate self. He was holding you close and each rise and fall of his chest was like a breath of fresh air. You didn't know how you got back to your original life, but you were sure glad you did.

You could smother him with affection later. Right now, you rested your head back down on his chest to listen to his heartbeat. Besides his flute, it was the one sound that gave you comfort.

And you took in every second of it.

#shrek #shrek 4 #shrek forever after #shrek pied piper #pied piper #pied piper x reader

[insecateur]

just a post of thoughts and headcanons about lysandre's team bc i've been thinking about that and now when i think about stuff i'm like "oh i can post about it on tumblr dot com"

lysandre's team is by and large royalty-themed which makes sense of course! no particular order to tackle them in just vibing

pyroar is the pokémon usually associated with lysandre in official merch and the likes. his hair was definitely styled to be reminiscent of a mane. the imagery is straightforward: lions are associated with kings. there's the whole "king of the jungle" thing ofc but also lions are associated with english royalty in particular. the lion association is probably also what influenced him having a 4:1 female/male ratio of scientists.

i tend to write litleo as being lysandre's first pokémon, given to him as a child as a family tradition. this would be how malva got hers as well.

the nickname "Orléans" probably doesn't require much of an explanation; it's a name associated with the french royal family. if you want bonus lore about it though, i actually partially stole it from a movie called Marquis which is about a talking dick and involves terrifying puppets, one of which is a lion named Orléans. i have not seen the movie.

gyarados is lysandre's mega-evolved pokémon. i find this fact fascinating for many reasons, some i will explain shortly. magikarp's japanese name is koiking and its design is definitely kingly. interestingly, it mostly loses these attributes upon evolving, which might make it seem like an odd choice for a royalty-themed team. i have shared some of my thoughts about lysandre's gyarados in a previous post, but i will touch on a point i haven't discussed yet (here at least. i've talked about it a bit on twitter.)

even disregarding shipping opinions, it's plain as day that lysandre and sycamore were created as counterparts. thematically, they are linked respectively to death, despair, pessimism, destruction, the color red (yveltal) and life, hope, optimism, creation, the color blue (xerneas.) imo the fact that lysandre's key pokémon is blue and associated with the opposite type to his other main pokémon (water vs fire) isn't a coincidence. we can only speculate what it means, i suppose, but i find it very interesting.

i tend to write magikarp as being lysandre's second pokémon, usually because his litleo caught one and lysandre rescued him as a result. (him having a cat and a fish is also kind of funny...)

the nickname "Charlemagne" probably doesn't merit an explanation either. he's a frank king. it's a long name, which fits a long pokémon.

mienfoo/mienshao is an ermine, which are linked to royalty because of the fur, mostly, although it also relates to heraldry. it's definitely lysandre's most underrated pokémon imo.

i haven't actually written about how lysandre and mienfoo met much! i tend to see him as being his most recent pokémon. rescued by sycamore and kept at the lab, he takes an interest in lysandre. maybe i'll write about it in more details someday.

the nickname "Pyrrhus" comes from King Pyrrhus of Epirus from which comes the term "pyrrhic victory." it also means "red-haired" so there's that. i don't think either of those require much elaboration.

it's not the first instance of murkrow/honchkrow being linked to a team leader, and it's pretty unsurprising, considering honchkrow's whole deal is being at the head of a murkrow gang. in french its name even contains the word "boss" (and in english, of course, there’s “honcho” in there as well.)

the link with royalty isn't as straightforward at first, but my personal theory is that it relates to Odin and his crows. there are a lot of references to norse mythology in pokémon xy, most notably irt the legendary trio, so it doesn't seem that far-fetched. Odin is tied to death, war, and royalty (among other things.)

i also have never written about lysandre meeting his murkrow. i like to think they ran into each other in some of his later travels, maybe before he met sycamore in lumiose.

the nickname "Léon" doesn't actually have any interesting story behind it! obviously it relates to lions, but i was actually thinking of the fact that in french people say that a peacock's cry sounds like "Léon"... how this relates to murkrow/honchkrow, don't ask me, but it stuck.

that's most of what i had to say on this subject, heehoo. i'll leave you with this old drawing.

#samthoughts #i don't know who these posts are for but i'm having fun writing them and that's what matters to me rn ngl

[anomander-dragnipurake]

Bowser's Castle Chapter Four: Opportunity

As great as being king was, there were still unpleasant parts; dealing with all the logistics involved in running a whole kingdom, occasionally having to deal with dignitaries from other kingdoms – thankfully very occasionally as his kingdom wasn’t one many wanted to visit – worst of all though was having to take the time to listen to what his people had to say about this or that thing or even worse, their problems. It was tedious.

Perhaps it was time to start making Junior do it too. He was the heir after all thus one day the kingdom would be his and thus he’d have to do it then. Maybe it was time all the Koopalings be given some of the less than pleasant jobs that came with being royalty. Kamek was always telling him that he was spoiling them too much, only giving them jobs they wanted, so maybe it was time to finally listen to him and give them some responsibilities and jobs they didn’t ask for. The kids wouldn’t like it but they’d get used to it after a while. Maybe then Bowser could…

The door creaked open, allowing the next petitioner to approach the throne. It was Luigi, wearing one of Peach’s dresses and a scarf. Last time Bowser had seen him in that outfit had been when he’d been possessed by Cackletta. Bowser suspicions about the disguise had been what alerted Cackletta to the fact that something was off, ultimately blowing Luigi’s cover. Those weren’t times he wished to remember but as much as doing so pissed him off he couldn’t blame Luigi for it like he had with King Boo yesterday.

“Why are you wearing that?”

Luigi flinched a little at his sharper than intended tone, halting in his timid advance. “Uh… Booella said that uh… it’s the only thing in the castle that would fit me and it’s clean so it’s better than what I was wearing before.”

Right, that made sense, Luigi had been more than kind of a mess before. Bowser grunted as he let himself relax once more, slouching back to put his feet up – Luigi wasn’t an enemy is this scenario so it was fine to relax a little in front of him.

Apparently taking that as permission to come closer, Luigi approached further, stopping at the foot of the dais. “So… um… first off, thank you again for saving me, I really appreciate it. I don’t know what more he would’ve done with me if you hadn’t gotten him to leave but… it wouldn’t have been good. So… thank you.”

Bowser grinned, gratitude was always nice, especially when that hadn’t even been the goal. What, if anything, he could use that gratitude for, he didn’t know yet, but it was good to have nonetheless. If nothing else, having Mario’s brother beholden to him as his savior was bound to make Mario mad which was worth it all by itself.

“Second,” Luigi continued, “when Cackletta possessed you we didn’t really take time to consider what you were going through and at the end we kind of just left you after defeating her. Which I now realize was wrong and I apologize for it. And uh lastly, yesterday you said…”

“Wait,” Bowser interrupted, “why are you apologizing about that now?” That had been a few years ago, long enough that an apology for it hardly mattered. And he’d never even been mad at Mario or Luigi for it to begin with. Of course they’d left him, what reason would they have had to stick around? It was better that way anyway, it let him keep at least some of his dignity.

“Because after… my recent experience with King Boo, I realize how horrible being possessed is and so… what you went through must’ve been pretty rough, especially after losing your memory and stuff. So, I apologize for not even really pausing to think about that, let alone anything else. You were kind of our ally at the start of that adventure at least so we should’ve done better.”

“Whatever, I don’t want to talk about it.” That whole outing from very near the start to the finish had been so thoroughly awful he’d rather go back to pretending it had never happened. “What did you come in here for?” Because there was no way it was just to babble about that stuff.

Luigi shifted, lightly crossing his arms. “Well uh… yesterday or last night, whenever it was, after you saved me you said that because you saved me that that meant I was… yours. What exactly does that mean?”

“It means that from here on out you work for me as one of my minions.” Doing what exactly because he certainly wasn’t a normal minion, Bowser wasn’t sure yet. All that mattered was that Luigi was his now, Bowser was responsible for him and whatnot, so he was going to use him.

“Well uh… does that mean I’m not allowed to leave?”

Dang, Bowser should’ve predicted that question, huh? Normal minion rules was that they were allowed time off to do as they pleased, including leaving the castle grounds, on a scheduled basis. Could he get away with having Luigi not being allowed that to make using him against Mario a surer thing? … Maybe he didn’t have to. Luigi had seemed awfully grateful last night, so why would he want to leave? After saving him from that why wouldn’t he willingly go along with being Bowser’s minion? He might push back when Bowser eventually found a way to use him to get back at Mario but a work around could be found for that too… probably. So maybe Bowser didn’t need to restrict him any more than any of the other minions.

“As long as you don’t currently have any orders from me or any of your other superiors and aren’t on duty you can leave whenever you please. You can’t be gone longer than a week without permission though.”

“Oh uh… do I have any orders then?”

“You’re injured so your orders are to recover.” Injured and sick minions were nigh on useless or at times an active hindrance to their peers so they weren’t allowed to work until they got better.

Luigi fidgeted some more before speaking again. “And King Boo? He said uh… that he’d be back.”

“Kamek will handle him if and when he shows up again.” The first thing Bowser had done this morning was order Kamek to start preparing the troops and castle for potential infiltration or even a full-on attack by ghosts and boos. One didn’t anger a nearby kingdom’s ruler without immediately preparing for war the next day if they wanted their kingdom to stay intact. “Now if there’s nothing else, you’re dismissed.” This conversation had gone on long enough already. Now that he was thinking about it again, Bowser should probably check in with Kamek on those war preparations.

“Oh, uh, um… a phone. You think I could make a couple calls? Let uh… my friends know I’m okay.”

“You mean Mario?”

“Uh… yeah. Mario mostly.”

“Yeah, whatever. Go ahead.” Mario knowing was perfect actually. He was going to be so mad Bowser had saved Luigi when he hadn’t been able to.

“Thank you.” With that Luigi was finally on his way out, his dress’ skirt swishing around his feet as he turned and fast walked out. … The dress actually looked kind of good on him now that Bowser was paying attention, though it’d look better if it were green. Maybe he’d order the tailors to make some green dresses later.

~

Bowser found Kamek in his personal library. Not a place Bowser often visited as it smelled of old books and dust, always making him feel seconds away from sneezing at any given moment because Kamek refused to let the cleaners in to touch his precious books or whatever. Kamek and a handful of his magikoopa had brought out a bunch of old tomes and laid them out on the tables to look and sort through.

Sitting at the head of one of the three tables, Kamek looked up as Bowser approached. “Sir, do you need something?”

“A report on what have you been doing to prepare for King Boo?” Bowser had interacted with King Boo enough times during prior occasions to know that, like Bowser himself, King Boo wasn’t one to let something like Bowser thwarting whatever his plan with Luigi had been go without a fight. He was bound to come back with vengeance in mind and Bowser was looking forward to it. He had no intention of dropping his conflict with Mario but he could take a break and have some fun winning for a change. And with Luigi on his side, when he returned to his conflict with Mario, he was bound to win there too. Things were really starting to look up.

“If your conflict with King Boo escalates to involve the whole kingdom, which it has a good chance of doing given his volatile nature, we are less prepared than I’d like. The last time our kingdom had any real conflict with King Boo’s was before my time. However, I know there are old spell books that contain magics for protecting against and fighting ghosts and other undead, in this library somewhere, hence out current efforts.” Kamek gestured to the still working magikoopas. “I also called E. Gadd already but got no reply. I will try again later.”

Crossing his arms, Bowser huffed to try to disguise a growing need to sneeze. “How long before King Boo shows up?”

“I predict not for a while. You cracked his crown pretty severely, your majesty. While he is nowhere close to being powerless without it, it stores and amplifies his magic, making him significantly more powerful. So he’ll likely not want to come back for a rematch until he makes or gets a new one. Which should hopefully give us plenty of time to fortify the castle against him and his ghosts.”

That was significantly less fun, waiting and preparing instead of fighting. Bowser wanted to punch something and maybe breathe some fire too. Yesterday had been fun but not nearly enough thanks to King Boo running away like a coward. “Why don’t we just go to him then? Beat him for good before he comes to us?”

“Brilliant idea as always your royal spikiness. You truly are a genius. Alas, we don’t know where he is so we can’t. And we don’t have a spy in his kingdom so we have no way of finding out.”

“Get a spy in his kingdom then.” Really, they should already have one, why didn’t they?

“Of course, I will get on that as soon as I can. Now, before you leave, I feel like I should advise you against keeping that Luigi fellow around for long. If we are about to get into a potentially serious conflict against the Boo Kingdom, we probably don’t want to risk having….”

“No,” Bowser interrupted. “He’s my minion now and we’re going to use him against Mario.”

Kamek frowned up at him. “And how do you plan to do that, sir?”

“I don’t know yet. We’ll figure it out later. For now, focus on King Boo, understood?”

Kamek sighed. “Understood.”

“Good. Now, hurry up with the preparations. And report to me as soon as you have a spy ready to go to the Boo Kingdom. I wish to meet with them before you send them.” Without waiting for another reply, Bowser turned and left, quickly exiting the library. As soon as he closed the door behind himself, he descended into a sneezing fit that was almost painful in its intensity. Ugh, he hated Kamek’s library. Shaking it off, he started down the hall. He had stuff to do like perhaps figuring out how to pull Luigi even further to his side, really take advantage of this opportunity.

#my writing #super mario bros #bowuigi #bowser #luigi #bowser's castle

[lyrabythelake]

I just reread your prince au for the tenth time probably it's amazing!!! I was thinking (if it isn't a spoiler and if you don't mind) could you tell us more about the council system and how it works? I read in a comment that you have notes on it.

Oh gosh, thank you so much anon, I'm happy you're liking Lost Prince and even happier that you're asking questions about it!! I have too many notes, I could talk about it all day XD

Anyway, I'm half asleep so I hope these makes sense, but some quick bullet points about the council system:

Each respective realm has a council that makes internal realm-wide decisions.

The Council of the Seven Realms is a nationwide council that deals with the affairs of Hyrule as a whole. 

Two people from each smaller council are chosen as representatives in the CSR; one is traditionally hereditary and one is elected using whatever election system their respective council has in place. The Twili, as a compromise, are only given a single seat.

Central Hyrule, where our boys live, is the dominant realm (due to a treaty signed during the Great War three hundred years ago), and the king or queen traditionally leads the CSR as dictatorially as they deem fit. For the last couple hundred years, however, the CSR has been pretty much entirely democratic.

Despite being heavily respected within Central Hyrule right now, Time is not popular among the other realms as he, unlike either of his parents or indeed generations of royalty before him, has chosen to take an authoritarian position on the council. He is widely known to be playing his own game, one of which no one else knows the rules.

You can make your own opinions about Time’s leadership style. He only wants what’s best for his kingdom, but let's just say there may be others more suited to the job…

#lost prince au #lyra answers #linked universe

[cyarskaren52]

First rapper to drop a cocaine reference in an ad campaign for an international fast food chain. 🐐

Twitter reacts to Pusha T's "Spicy Fish Diss Track" for Arby's

Pusha T, the mastermind behind the Drake diss track “The Story of Adidon,” is taking shots at his new victim. In a new ad promoting Arby’s new Spicy Fish Sandwich, the Virginia native comes for McDonald’s and their Filet-O-Fish meal.

“I’m the reason the whole world love it and now I gotta crush it/ Filet-O-Fish is — and you should be disgusted/How dare you sell a square fish asking us to trust it/ A half slice of cheese Mickey D’s on a budget?” he raps before putting people on to his new obsession. “Arby’s crispy fish is simply it/With lines ’round the corner/You might need as guest list/Exit stage left, the sandwiches taste fresh.”

The track continues with comparisons between the McDonald’s and Arby’s sandwiches, the latter of which Pusha T favors. In an Instagram post announcing the diss track, he doubled down on his claim that the Spicy Fish sandwich reigns supreme over the Filet-O-Fish.

“Just dropped a diss track with @Arbys. Grab some popcorn and a Spicy Fish Sandwich,” Pusha wrote. “#ArbysSpicyFishDissTrack #ArbysPaidMeButIWouldSayThisAnyway.”

Just dropped a diss track with @Arbys. Grab some popcorn and a Spicy Fish Sandwich. #ArbysSpicyFishDissTrack#ArbysPaidMeButIWouldSayThisAnywaypic.twitter.com/dzTuBlM9Ok — King Push (@PUSHA_T) March 21, 2022

Pusha T’s involvement with the “Spicy Fish Diss Track” makes perfect sense given his relationship with both fast-food restaurants. In 2003, he wrote McDonald’s popular “I’m Lovin’ It” jingle and was only paid upfront for the gig, missing out on publishing royalties over the last few years.

“I want artists to know that part. Keep your publishing,” he advised amid his appearance on “Drink Champs.” “That check will be nice, but ‘I’m Lovin’ It’ been running for how long now? I did This in ’03. Who knows what it would have been.”

Learning from his mistake,  he now owns publishing rights for Arby’s “We have the meats” slogan. “The get back is real. I also own 40 percent of the Arby’s commercial,” Pusha continued. “You live and you learn.”

Like most of his songs, Pusha T’s Arby’s ad was met with reactions from social media users. Look at some of them below.

Pusha T went 97% of that Arby’s commercial before he dropped a coke reference lmao he really is one of my favorite rappers ever — Kazeem Famuyide (@Kazeem) March 21, 2022

Lmaooooo Pusha T barring up McDonald’s was not on my 2022 bingo card. BUT HERE WE ARE — Low (@LowKeyUHTN) March 21, 2022

The hilarity in this is Pusha T dissing McDonald’s and remembering where one of his well known early brand checks came from 😂 https://t.co/RfUDP2StzB — WYM?77 🐢 (@burnergod77) March 21, 2022

pusha t wrote the mcdonald's "i'm loving it" jingle, lettuce not forget. now he's switched sides to arby's and is coming with the hammers. the game is dirty. — karliehustle.nah (@THEkarliehustle) March 21, 2022

@PUSHA_T diss song for Arby’s has me crying cause why is it fire? 😭😭 — Don Antonio (@Henny_Hardaway) March 21, 2022

Pusha T dissing McDonald’s in Arby’s newest commercial is what I needed today  He would still add a ❄️ bar too 💀 pic.twitter.com/p2MnEDH4xk — 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐏𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞 (@JohnnyPunanis) March 21, 2022

Arby's marketing team:"Thank for signing this deal Mr. Pusha! OH, before I forget! Unfortunately you can not say anything referring to COCAINE" Push at first: pic.twitter.com/qomeCMKypm — Lonnie Cuzco (@LonnieMCJr) March 21, 2022

The fact that Pusha T dissed McDonald’s on behalf of Arby’s and getting paid from both might be GOAT level hustling — Forever Trill🇳🇬 🇰🇪 🇧🇸 (@mccauley713) March 21, 2022

Pusha T rapping about coke in an Arby commercial is just what I needed in my life. — Hovain (@Hovain) March 21, 2022

Sent from my iPhone

[gamble74vilstrup]

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[mrpenguinpants]

Genshin: University AU [V1]

I love modern au. Or any “everything is fine, no one died, it’s just a fever dream” au. Half of me is thinking, damn maybe I should answer this serious- LOL HAHA no. That’s not happening. Time to crack my knuckles and let my brainworms take over again.

Once again, this is 90% crack 10% content. I want to switch up my characters from the last brainworm post but I included Kaeya and Diluc.

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Today’s appreciation post goes to twistedwishes. Hey! I’ve been seeing you pop up a lot lately and thanks for the support 💕💕 I hope things are going better for you and you’re doing alright^^ I feel kinda bad for making appreciation posts on crack fics but hopefully this is somewhat funny haha. 

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Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Genshin: Roommate [V1]

Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

[Masterlist]

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[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

  @mikeysbike @hanniejji@unionwitch @musekala @twistedsunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @dandelily @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife  @dokidokisama @simpygrimoire @minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki​

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Diluc

Absolute pretty boy who has braincells, but only if Kaeya is not there. In his mind, Kaeya’s presence makes his room loose 40% of their common sense. He can’t prove it just yet but he’s working on it. He majors in accounting but also has a minor in marketing, logistics’ management, fia- he majors everything business related. He’s going to become the next Elon Musk through smarts or by getting the competition drunk. There can be no contest if he’s the only candidate. He’s actually a hard working guy that overworks and stresses way too much. You have daily “Diluc recharge” evenings where he just hangs onto you while you go through your day.

“Don’t fucking talk to me until I’ve had my coffee,” except there is no coffee - he drinks grape juice out of juice boxes and his only energy boost is when he meets up with you - and that’s his constant mood. So he usually only hangs around you and Jean, since she has childhood friend status and is actually an angel. By default, Lisa is added and Diluc doesn’t mind her but if he see’s Kaeya, it’s full on war paint mode. If he's not busy with work or studies, he's usually with you either in your dorm or his apartment.

He has a fanclub and he seriously hates it and tries to do everything in his power to get Ningguang to take it down. Shouldn’t this be against his rights? But she refuses for whatever reason and makes a whole speech about free will. No matter what he does, someone manages to take a picture and it get’s printed in the university’s newspaper. The only bonding time he has with Kaeya is every Monday, where they collect and burn all the universities newspapers before anyone can get their hands on it. You always bring marshmallows to make smores during their arson activities.

“When I graduate I’m going to burn this school down to the ground. That’s not a threat it’s a promise.”

Ningguang

Is secretly the leader of the Diluc fanclub - not that she likes Diluc, she’s in a questionable platonic poly marriage with you and Beidou - but it was the easiest way to gain funds for the student council. Which she is the president of, so rip Diluc the fanclub stays. Ruthless business woman I tell you. But she can run in heels so her danger factor rises by at least 20%.

Majors in social sciences and law but more specifically the political science & government. She saw the Imperial State Crown that the Queen of England wears and says yes, that’s mine now. If she’s not with Beidou and you planning on “how to infiltrate the state government just for lols”, then she’s with Keqing, Ganyu, and Zhongli discussing student council things. Should they or should they not tell the student body that they can see everyone’s search results? Sit back and relax as the school goes into chaos. 

She’s probably the scariest person on campus No, she is the scariest person on campus. She’s the scariest person on campus. But secretly she’s popping 20 aspirins just to make it through a night. She has the digestive system of steel. She still holds the title of "seriously do not try and beat her in a drinking game it's never going to happen" and that's her proudest achievement in life but sadly she can’t put it on her resume. Kaeya is still trying to beat her out of spite but so far it hasn't been working. You’re seriously concerned for her when she get’s challenged but Beidou gives you a way-to-hard slap on the back and cheers her on. If Ninngguang somehow get’s alcohol poisonings she’ll somehow find away to make a profit out of it.

"I'll let him die, I'll get the insurance money."

Kaeya

One day he chugged too much mouth wash, passed out, and somehow woke up in university majoring in law. His idea is that if he is apart of the law, he can therefore stand above it. To be fair, his only goal in life is to say “I am the manager” and he can go live the rest of his life in bliss or as a hermit. He’s secret best friends with you but wouldn't be caught dead beside you. He will stab a bitch if you ever get hurt but will still trip you on the way home. Seriously, you have no idea why people find him attractive. Your guess is it’s the eye patch or the clap of his ass cheeks that keeps alerting everyone.  

He’s apart of the newspaper club and if anyone asks: No, he has no idea who keeps taking all the newspapers and burns them in the back of the campus. Originally, he joined because he was nosy and needed to join some type of club for his resume. He sometimes feels bad for his junior assistant Amber because he keeps tricking her and says that Diluc is secretly a demon that is trying to steal all the jobs and is apart of the lizard government hell bent on eradicating the human race. He even brought out a whiteboard for this joke, he’s dedicated to his job ok? 

The type of guy to try and be humble and say his work is “okay” but will choke a bitch if anyone agrees. He tends to leave everything last minute and says that it’s his drug since actual drugs could land you one year in prison and a maximum penalty of $2,000. You have to awkwardly hold in your concerned mother head shake when you see him speed running his assignment literally right when the professor is walking around to check if students finished. 

“I was taught how to lead not to read.”

Mona

Broke wallet #2. Zhongli is broke wallet #1 but Childe simps for him so is he really a broke wallet at this point? In this essay, I Mona Megistus, will explain why I have the rights to the title “Broke Wallet #1″...

Believes that astrology should be an actual career path but refuses to take astronomy as her major. I can read the stars not a textbook that tells me how to calculate the mass of the sun divided by the fucks I give. Instead she went into Philosophy and cries to Albedo, who is an actual prodigy genius- sir lend some braincells to everyone else please?, that her professor keep turning her paper down because “star reading” is not an academic source.

Fischl wants her to join the occult club because, surprisingly, Mona is very good at telling people’s fates through her crayon sketch ouija board. She thinks first year Fischl is cute but is put off by the cosplay roleplay that she has going on. She would join except that stupid hat wearing gremlin in her lit class would make fun of her if he found out.

You gave her half your lunch one day and bought her a doughnut "because she seemed upset" and "out of the goodness of your heart" whatever the hell that means. She thinks you pensioned it but once that thought comes she takes a bite. Poison from a doughnut is not the worst way to go out, classes are hard enough. She’s waiting for the lord to strike her down anyways. 

“Its not about passing, its about doing better than everyone else.”

Venti

Slept through most of highschool and people question how he got into university. He’s a music major (wow how fucking original is that), and if anyone asks him to serenade someone or just do anything, he’ll do it for the right price. Or if you buy him alcohol because he still keeps getting ID checked. He’s banking on Kaeya actually becoming a lawyer or being on good terms with Diluc so he can finally stop being arrested for looking like a toddler.

Takes one step into classes and quickly nopes out and goes back to bed. Professors have no idea how he hasn't dropped out or failed. He just has some god given talent. He does whine at you to pretty pretty please with a cherry on top tutor him because you're such an angel and would never leave your poor but awesome best friend hanging right? He needs to get this essay down but how he is suppose to explain how the number 10 is symbolic and connects to the universe or the meaning of life. Do you think he can just say it’s apart of his culture and make up some random myth to pretend it looks like he knows what he’s doing? 

He’s honestly going with the flow and put his brain on the back burner all of highschool and only now realizes wait, I actually have to use my brain?

He’s been banned from most club chats since Venti has the no chill card. Someone says “lol I look ugly today.” and he’ll respond "yup, you look like a cow." and he get’s banned. Zhongli keeps a speed run timer on his phone just to document these occasions.

"Sad spelled backwards is das and das how it be sometimes."

Childe

An actual dumbass that somehow does well. He eats sandwiches with the crust off, this heathen. Surprisingly he’s studying to become a physical therapist but most of his experience has come from breaking his own bones. You’re scared how he's going to be if he actually becomes a therapist. If he'll make bets with his patients or try to one up whatever crazy injury they get into. Everything is a challenge to him that sometimes the best way to deal with Childe is to knock him out. 

This man really knows the way to a Zhongli’s woman's heart. Through micro transactions. Mona saw him accidently drop $20 and just shrugged and walked off. She has never been both spiritually and physically offended in her life. She did take the $20 though. As much as you hate leeching on Chile when he’s basically a walking wallet that probably uses bills as tissue paper, you can’t help but give him puppy eyes while planning on how to get into his will. If he even plans on having one, he might honestly write “whoever wins in a gladiator style duel in my funeral’s tournament, they will get my fortune.”. 

Any sport the university offers Childe is probably in it. Which is how he met Zhongli, challenged him to a fight, proceeded to have his ass handed to him, got a backhanded compliment, and screamed to you he was in love and how he found his soulmate. He's secretly very sappy and has cried and watched every Disney and Pixar movie at least 28 times.

"IM NOT TOO SPICY! I’M A TINY BIT ABOVE MILD IF ANYTHING!”

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God if it isn’t Scaramouche, it’s Childe that ruins the aesthetic. This is why I hate you. Why do you people enable me like this, it isn’t even good. This is pretty much a @ yourself moment and I vibe hard with Venti. This entire post was just to make a joke about the clap of Kaeya’s ass cheeks alerting the guards.

This week might slow down since I have classes and assignments. My reply’s are gonna be late too, sorry;; (oh and thank you to everyone that was so supportive and nice when I mentioned it. All of you. Beautiful 💕💕 )

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[ashesandhackles]

The Hogwarts Express scene in Prince's Tale: A Sirius and Snape analysis

I really, really enjoy Sirius and Snape as characters and their respective narrative functions in story. But what gets me most about them is how much Rowling hints about their backgrounds and so much of it makes sense with regard to who they are as adults. So I am going to be breaking down a very small scene from Prince Tale and getting into long winded hypothesis about their respective childhoods.

So, let's start with Snape. The scene begins with Snape rushing to find Lily, already in his Hogwarts clothes. Harry notes he must have been eager to get out of his clothes - ones that look like he borrowed from his mother, as Petunia spitefully pointed out. This has always been a very interesting detail to me - first off, it indicates how poor Snape's family is. Second, this indicates his tiny rebellion from his father - he refuses to wear clothes of the abusive man, and prefers his mother's. I admit, I am partial to the reading that Snape refuses to associate with his father in tiny ways, rather than Tobias refusing to hand his son clothes.

(I have seen readings which say that it is also a sign of neglect - perhaps his parents bought clothes that simply don't fit him, but I am more inclined to think it's a hand me down, simply because Harry identifies so strongly with it. Because Harry knows what it is like to wear a hand me down that don't quite fit, that are too big for you, or the ones that make you look ridiculous.)

Lily and Petunia's relationship is fraught with Petunia's jealousy. And young Lily is upset over it when Snape meets her. "I am not talking to you. Tuney hates me" she tells him. "Because we saw the letter from Dumbledore". Young Lily shows signs of being extremely emotionally reactive and this scene is one of them. It's easier for her to deal with Petunia's rejection of her by telling Snape she doesn't want to talk to him. It's a childish displacement of her hurt over her sister's rejection. (I am genuinely baffled by interpretations that Lily and Hermione are similar. Hermione is very cognitive person, Lily, as we have been shown repeatedly in memories, is not).

Snape, however, with his bad history with Petunia and his inability/ poor social skills to understand why this matters to her, goes: "So what?"

Lily, who throws him a look of deep dislike, says "So she's my sister". This seed is important because this is what develops into "he doesn't get me" feeling she later displays in her teenage scenes with him. Interestingly, most of Lily's personal relationships have deeply interwined love and dislike - Petunia (whose rejection bothers her but she cheerfully informs Sirius that Harry nearly broke a vase her sister sent - which means there is resentment on her end too), James - who she was attracted to even before 7th year but also disliked at one point, and Snape - again, a contentious friendship filled with love and distance.

"She's only a -" we dont get to hear what Snape intended to say. And given his own acrimony with Petunia, it could be anything. However, I read it as "She's only a Muggle" because it ties into his feelings about his father. Snape, who is proud of being half a Prince, emphasizing his magical lineage from his mother's side, his refuge in a violent, neglectful home. (Barty Crouch Jr and Snape with their disappointing fathers - I imagine Voldemort is supremely attractive leader to people with broken homes like this)

Snape, by all accounts, shows a disorganised attachment style. His caregiver, his mother - and perhaps the only parent he seems to have regard for, is too preoccupied by her own abuse to be there for her son - we see this in glimpses Harry sees in OOTP: " woman cowering" where a man shouts at her, and a young, neglected Snape cries in the corner. Children born in homes like this have trouble regulating their emotions, simultaneously displaying tendencies to aggressively lash out or show disassociative symptoms. Both of which Snape displays. Statistically, this is also seen more in low income households where economic instability and resulting domestic instability creates an unsafe environment for the kids to safely form ideas of their identity, or express emotions in healthy ways, modelling instead out of behaviour seen at home.

Then, Snape reminds her that they are going to Hogwarts. He is already in his Hogwarts clothes - now, Snape gets to be the impressive figure. The one who told her about magic, who theorised about how Muggles get letters from magical people, the one who told her about Dementors and Azkaban. He has already left behind the Spinner's End version of him, he wants to bigger than that, and is keen to be in place of magical learning and to join Slytherin. Essentially, he shows signs of unstable identity, insecurity - all prime for grooming into a cult.

And here comes along James Potter, who looks around at the mention of Slytherin. James's comment uses Snape's line and directs it to Sirius instead and it becomes a conversation between them, as a way to bond more with a fellow "rowdy boy" Sirius. Effectively ignoring the other two.

Sirius as we see here, "does not smile" when James talks about Slytherin. He essentially says something that can be construed as a way to nip that conversation in bud: "My whole family has been in. Slytherin". This suggests to me that there is some loyalty to his family there and his disillusionment with them isn't entirely fixed yet. After all, Sirius's intense loyalty to his friends, more specifically James, did not come out of thin air. It is reasonable to suggest that he felt some loyalty to his family at some point and the intensity with which he regards his friends is a reaction to burned off and being a "displaced person without a family" as Rowling put it.

Interestingly, while his reaction to his mother and Bellatrix are obviously sore spots, his response to Regulus is comparatively quite soft. ("Stupid, idiot" - something he calls James later on in the same book, OOTP). I imagine Sirius has quite complicated feelings about his brother and he is capable of nuance (when the person isn't Snape, where his dislike seems to be borne of an intense projection): "The world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters". As someone who is grown up among them, Sirius would understand that.

His framing of Regulus's need to please his parents also further highlights what exactly is the source of disillusionment. He calls Regulus "soft enough to believe them" - which means he is crediting his own intelligence to see through his parents bigoted world view. Clearly, bigotry is not something the Blacks explained in a way that Sirius, eldest of their male line and their heir, bought it. It also probably didn't help the Blacks case that Grimmauld Place is in a Muggle neighborhood and that their eldest son is a bit of a wild boy with interest in pushing boundaries. His intellectual disconnect leads to the righteous rage he later feels but it began there. (Boy, it must suck to discover that everything you have been taught to value in the world and in yourself as the heir is essentially rubbish). Since his differences with his family began with seeds of intellectual disconnect rather than on intense empathy with downtrodden, it makes him, as a pureblooded privileged boy, unable to truly understand Lupin's fears regarding his lycanthropy. Hence, the Werewolf prank (I am not getting to the Snape bit, just the Lupin bit). To James' credit, he does understand what that means for Lupin and saves all three of them from different set of consequences.

Anyway, back to the scene. James, who has made an ass of himself in front of his new friend, who he was getting along with fine until now, then goes "Blimey, I thought you seemed alright". (Btw, I find James wildly large ego kind of hilarious here, especially in light of Snape's comment about him to Sirius in OOTP: "You will know he is so arrogant that criticism simply bounces off him"). Sirius, who I believe has been raised like "royalty" as Blacks would, has good enough social skills to defuse a situation. He grins and says: "Maybe I will break the tradition".

This line is an indication of Sirius's desire for independence, an identity seperate from his family. The use of the word "tradition" is interesting. It sounds like Sirius is expected to behave in a certain way, the heir of Black family whose parents thought being a Black "made you practically royal". Adult Sirius is contemptuous of this, or their "valuable contribution to Ministry" which means they just gave gold - it tells me that any and all conditions put on him by his family were to fulfill tradition that is either worthless or holds no meaning in his eyes. The root of the emotional abuse Sirius suffers from his family is this - realising his parents love for him is conditional on him being a certain way. (In fact, you can read Regulus desire to emphasise his connection to the family as a reaction to what he sees with Sirius - Sirius does not behave, Mum and Dad don't love him). As a child with unconscious knowledge of lack of love, Sirius then acts out, they react, rinse and repeat "until he has had enough". Sirius chafes against boundaries well into adulthood and doesn't react well to people enforcing it on him, even if it is out of love for him. Cue the fire scene with Harry where he behaves as if Harry is rejecting him instead of protecting him.

Sirius asks James about where he wants to go, and Snape, who is incensed about James being insulting about a House he put stock in, which he made part of new identity (so that he is no longer that Snape boy from Spinner's End) and was in general trying to be impressive about in front of Lily, "makes a disparaging noise" once James talks of Gryffindor. Snape's response to James' : "Got a problem with that?" is interesting. He says: "If you'd rather be brawny, rather than brainy-"

This is an important value for Snape. He knows he is clever and values it. He spends his spare time inventing hexes, making great shortcuts to Potions. He has genuine thirst for learning and he hones it. In SWM, we see that he has written far more longer answers than anyone else, he is poring over his paper after exams. He even mocks Hermione's lack of inventive answers: "Answer copied word to word from the textbook, but correct in essentials". He values originality. It may be me stretching this, but I am partial to the reading: this is his way of rejecting his father once again, who is implied to be a violent man. (in other words, someone who is hypermasculine - "brawny". In fact, Snape's rejection of hypermasculinity is a huge post on it's own - Potions (brewing, cauldrons - coded as feminine arts), the doe Patronus, his proficiency in Occlumency and Legliemency (intuitive mind arts, again seen archetypically feminine) etc).

"Where are you hoping to go, seeing as you are neither?" - Sirius is quick with emotionally cutting insults. Snape hasn't even finished his sentence, but Sirius is already on his case. Which suggests growing up in a household with sharp tongues. It's a fair assumption, given Mrs Black's half mad portrait. It also tallies with Sirius's talking about his mother: "My mother didn't have a heart Kreacher, she kept herself alive out of pure spite" . The wounds are fresh enough on this. (Another interesting way Snape and Sirius act as inverse mirrors - Snape rejects his father, Sirius rejects his mother. Sirius acts as proxy for James for Harry while Snape takes on Lily's role of protecting him). However, you know who else is spiteful? Sirius.

While James is the physical bully (the tripping Snape, doing most of the bullying in SWM), Sirius attacks emotionally. ( Sample the one about Snape's appearance - "I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment, there will be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word" or even the carelessly vicious- "Put that away, before Wormtail wets himself in excitement"). Curiously, with all that talk of how his mother being spiteful, it's her room he spends time in when he is depressed. (Again, in inverse mirror way, we can talk of how Snape looks for a father figure in Dumbledore - craves his validation and is proud of Dumbledore's trust in him). We could argue it's also because Buckbeak is there, and perhaps it's the largest room in the house, but it's very telling that's where Sirius spends time when he is "in a fit of sullens". Sirius's sense of abandonment from his family, makes him look for family connections with friends - a trait he shares with Harry. Interestingly, the first time he glimpses Harry in Privet Drive, Harry is also running away from home - just like he did. Anyway, I could go on.

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[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Be Very Afraid

This is the best story arc episode in season three and arguably the best written episode since The Great Tree, but it’s still season three so there are still issues with it. 

Summary: When Zhan Tiri tells Cassandra she must destroy Rapunzel in order to wield the Moonstone's true power, Cassandra discovers that she can create, with fear, red rock spikes that cause fear and freeze their victims. Varian discovers the red rocks and teams up with Rapunzel to use his amber solution on them. Meanwhile, Eugene and Lance decide to throw a talent show to distract everyone from their fears. 

Why Can’t Cassandra Control The Rocks?

The series never gives an actual explanation for this. She could control them just fine in Rapunzel’s Return, so what’s changed? 

There is No Destiny!

There’s no prophecy, no oracle, no grand design nor master of fate to fight back against; the characters literally have no reason to do what they do. If you want destiny to be a goal then you have to establish what that destiny is first. 

What does Cassandra want? How does this connect back to Gothel, Rapunzel, and the Moonstone? Why she just failing about like an idiot here? Did she not have a plan when she threw her life away for this stupid rock? 

And of course Zhan Tiri is lying here, but why should Cassandra believe her? What does she gain by listening to a creepy ghost girl? This ‘destiny’ has not been established, so therefore there’s no hook nor bait for Zhan Tiri to trap her with. 

Leading directly into “you should kill your bestie’ should logically put Cassandra off of Zhan Tiri’s advice for good because Zhan Tiri isn’t actually offering anything. Temptation requires the person to be, you know, tempted by what they want, but Cassandra doesn’t know what she wants so none of this makes sense. 

The writing is desperately trying to make Cass sympathetic here, but all it winds up doing is making her look like a moron instead. 

This Isn’t Consistent

Not only does this fail to explain why Cass could control the rocks previously but no longer can, but it’s also contradicted just a couple of episodes later with the incantation bullshit. 

You need an established magic system in place in order for the character’s actions to make sense show!

This Ultimately Goes Nowhere

Ignoring how Varian should have been in season two and how translating the scroll should have led to freeing his father, which we’ve talked about previously; this subplot should have had more impact on the narrative than it actually did. Yes, Varian’s translation winds up driving the plot of Cassandra’s Revenge, but 90% of that episode winds up being utterly pointless, including the incantations themselves, so.... 

I Like This Sequence; Shame It Winds Up Being Undermined Later  

Unlike the majority of dream sequences in this show, this nightmare has an actual point. It more firmly establishes Varian’s fears and gives the audience some insight into what happened to him back in season one. Something we were sorely lacking. It also becomes the core conflict and drive of Varian’s character development through out the episode. 

Only for the episode to ignore Varian’s real issues and fail to adequately address anything. By series end this plot point will be completely forgotten. The show acts like bringing it up once and then never acknowledging it ever again just magically revolves Varian’s character arc. It doesn’t.  

So How Come Quirin Isn’t Affected By the Rocks? 

He’s right there next to them and he shows no reaction to them at all. You’re telling me the man who lost his home twice to these things, almost died to them, and nearly lost his only child because of them, is just not going to respond to new creepy red ones popping up? 

Quirin would have a treasure trove of trauma to explore in his own right, that undoubtedly would connect back to Varian’s own issues, but we’re just going to ignore it and have Quirin off screen for the majority of the episode?

Are These New Character Models?

Are you shitting me!? 

They built five new models just for a short two minute scene, one where none of the new characters are named nor given lines, only to never appear ever again!

What the fuck? Why did you waste time and money on this? What happened to all of the other background characters you already built? Did a bunch of season one models just get lost or deleted or something? 

Also why are they all wearing green? Is it St. Paddy’s Day? 

This Plot Point Wasn’t Established Enough Beforehand

Look, I’ll buy that there are people in Corona who still blame Varian for what happened in season one and for the Sapoiran take over. I mean they’re only getting half the story and were directly effected by his actions whether or not he intended harm to them. But we needed to see more of it beyond just this one scene.

No one was bullying him in Lost Treasure or The King and Queen of Hearts, so for all purposes he appeared to be integrated back into society, and now you’re telling me he’s not and that Rapunzel risked his well being by forcing him to interact with people who were hostile to him back in Lost Treasure? 

And yeah you can’t really move Lost Treasure back any further than it already is cause that’d leave a giant hole in the wall of the throne room for over a year. Which also makes no sense either. 

Or hey, maybe it’s just Feldspar being an asshole. In which case why should Varian or the audience care? 

Eugene is Wasted

Look I understand that there’s only twenty five minutes to tell this story and that Eugene isn’t the focus of the episode. I also understand that the B-plot is meant to be comedic in order to relive tension from the A plot, but this wasn’t the best way to go about it. 

The B plot swings too far wide in the other direction that it dilutes the tension too much. The A plot now has to work over time to keep the urgency going. I could understand it, if the show wanted start off with small fears first, but it needed to ramp up the drama as it got closer to the climax, not under cut it. 

We never see Eugene freak out over anything other this this cowlick. In fact we never see him scared of anything else beyond this one scene, which undermines Rapunzel’s arc this episode as she’s suppose to be the only one bottling things in. What makes Eugene so special that he can keep a lid on it with out consequences, or are you telling me that a dumb cowlick is his only fear? 

Either answer is stupid. 

I Hope You Have Copies of the Map

You went through all that trouble to steal the journal for this very reason and now here you are prancing around without it like it’s not that big of deal. Way to undermined past story arcs. 

It’s like the writers know that season one was their most successful season, and therefore try to make callbacks to it whenever they can, to make up for ignoring it in season two completely, but they still don’t want to actually acknowledge anything that happened during that season so they just refer to it in the laziest way possible, rendering the previous events pointless. 

So Close and Yet So Far

I’m mainly posting this whole conversation so that you dear readers will have context for what I talk about next. 

For you see, this scene starts out okay and it looks like we’re finally going to address the elephant in the room regarding Rapunzel’s involvement in Varian’s past trauma, only for the scene to immediately side step the issue all together and not resolve the conflict at all. 

No! Don’t Interrupt; Listen! 

Or at least go all the way and accept some of the blame yourself. 

It may look like Rapunzel is comforting Varian here on a superficial level, but without her verballing acknowledging what she did wrong, this action just winds up taking the focus off of Varian and what he needs and places it upon Rapunzel, both narratively and physically.

So what happens is that, in universe, it comes across like she’s just consoling Varian for her own personal comfort rather than genuinely trying to help. 

Why Would Varian Ever Think This? 

Okay, first off this has nothing to do with what Varian was talking about previously. Why would he jump from discussing his trauma to praising Rapunzel? You know the woman who is responsible for said trauma? 

Secondly, this switches the focus of the conflict off of Varian’s specific trauma and makes it about a generic “over coming fear” lesson mixed with an out of place validation issue. Which is not what’s actually needed for his character development; nor for Rapunzel’s for that matter. 

Third, being the sundrop has nothing to do with Rapunzel as a person. Her being born with magical powers was an accident of fate, same as her being royalty. She’s not innately better than anybody else because of this and nobody has any narrative reason to assume otherwise. Especially since her powers are utterly disconnected from her actual personality, choices, and actions. All three of which have become unbearably unpleasant by the last season. 

Finally, Varian, of all people should be the last person on earth to ever think so highly of Rapunzel. Them being friends again is already pushing believability. Him suddenly kissing her ass the same as everyone else this season is just flat out bad writing.  

Varian knows better than anybody what an awful person Rapunzel is. He’s seen her at her worse. He’s seen her not live up to her hypocritical ideals. He knows the larger problems that steam from placing people in power on pedestals. As her former victim, Varian by all accounts should be the one person who can bring Rapunzel down to earth and poke holes into her ego, even while still being her friend. Especially while still being her friend. She needs that! Writing Varian as another blind Rapunzel stan is not only writing him out of character, but it also damages Rapunzel’s own development. 

Also Varian hates magic. Why would he now worship someone just for having magic? 

THIS AIN’T ABOUT YOU BITCH!!!

I literally yelled that at my tv screen when I first saw this scene. Those were my exact words upon the episode’s first airing. And believe it or not, I’m not one to usually scream obscenities at inanimate objects. 

I understand what the writers were trying to accomplish here. They wanted Rapunzel to ease the tension by saying something funny and to make Varian laugh to distract him from his woes; thereby defusing the situation. But it doesn’t work because of season three’s tendency to make Rapunzel the most egotistical, smug, self-centered, abusive, self-righteous twat in the show. 

It really boggles the mind just how unaware the writing is. Like, surely no one makes their protagonist this unlikable on accident. Clearly they meant for Rapunzel to be an ass on purpose right?  They wanted Cass to have a reason to hate her so they decided to make her insufferable to the viewer in a misguided attempt to make Cass more sympathetic? Right? 

Then where is the bloody comeuppance? 

I genuinely thought this was all going to lead somewhere. That Rapunzel was going to learn to be a better person and I would have been fine by that. I would have applauded the show if they had turned her into an asshole intentionally so that they could teach a mature and nuanced lesson about morality. 

But they didn’t, and here I am; still shaking my head in confusion over a year later. 

Seriously what the fuck happened behind the scenes to cause this? How can processionals paid by the largest animation company in the world be so incompetent? 

Having Trauma is Not the Same Thing as Having a Phobia  

This is where Varian’s arc falls apart. Not only does the episode fail to have Rapunzel acknowledge her past wrongs for a second time, but it also completely mishandles Varian’s trauma because it equates it to being an irrational fear. One that can be overcome through pure force of will at that, same as Lance and everyone else’s fears in the episode. 

Ok first off Varian’s fear isn’t irrational. He even just said so at the start of the conversation. Varian’s trauma is very real, it’s not a hypothetical unlike clown-spiders and cowlicks. Also has been given very little reassurance that it won't happen again. Varian has no reason to trust Rapunzel or anybody else in the show. They never owned up to abandoning him previously, and both he and the audience have little reason to believe that Rapunzel wouldn’t just neglect him again if it was convenient for her.   

Secondly one does not simply ‘overcome’ trauma. Oh you can deal with trauma, you can manage it and learn to live with it. But it never goes away. It doesn’t magically disappear just because you ‘faced it’. 

In fact confronting it head on is actually the opposite of what your suppose to do when going through something traumatic. Studies have shown that distracting your mind after a car crash or what have you actually helps with PTSD later on. And ‘dealing with it” doesn’t mean ignoring the problem out right, but rather learning how to function despite the pain. 

But as the show acts like Varian’s trauma never even existed after this episode. 

This Doesn’t Resolve Anything!

What does “being special” have to with fear? How does this help Varian with his trauma? Empty validation has nothing to with what we were just discussing. 

Everyone gets afraid. Everyone has trauma of some sort. Are you telling me that my need for therapy some 20 years after being physically assaulted is just because I’m not special enough? Fuck you show! 

Moreover, this doesn’t resolve the story arc from season one. Varian and Rapunzel’s conflict with each other has nothing to do with self esteem. It was about personal responsibility, conflicting needs, and abuse. Yes, self image and acceptance was a small factor in their motivations, but it was never the driving goal behind their decisions. 

This is yet another broken narrative promise to the audience. There’s no closure to be had from this and leaves the viewer wanting, if not outright frustrated. 

In order to justify this exchange fans have to ‘read between the lines’ and make shit up in order for any of this to make any sense. People who still defend season three do by doing all the heavy lifting that writers themselves should be doing. 

If it’s not on screen, it doesn’t count. 

If Rapunzel never apologizes on screen, then she never apologized. If Rapunzel never checked up on Varian on screen, then she neglected him outright. If Rapunzel never acknowledges her wrong doings on screen, then she’s never learned anything. The characters pretending like she has doesn’t make it so. 

Why Does Cassandra Even Want a Destiny? 

Yes, Zhan Tiri is lying, there is no destiny, but Zhan Tiri being a liar doesn’t absolve Cassandra of her own actions. 

Cassandra herself believes in destiny and is looking for her’s, but why? 

Why does she want a destiny? What is this destiny she’s after? Why does she believe such a thing exists? What does she believe it’ll gain her? Why is she willing to risk so much for such a vague goal? What does any of this have to do with the moonstone or her mother? How does this destiny connect back with her personal feud with Rapunzel? 

It’s all disjointed and confused. Nothing lines up. It’s like the writers just had this dart board full of ideas for Cassandra’s villain arc, but couldn’t decide on which one to go with, so they just threw darts randomly each episode and went with whatever stuck for any given scene.

“Oh she want’s revenge for her mother during this scene, or wait no, she’s actually looking for destiny this episode?” “What destiny?” “Who knows. Now for this scene we need her to be sad because reasons...” “What reason?” “I don't care, make something up... Uuuuh, she’s sad cause she’s not a royal guard still” “But she became a guard during season one.” “Ignore that. Kids won’t remember. Now she needs to be angry and threating here” “Why?” “Because it’ll look cool.” “But why is she angry?” “Cause it looks cool Bob! Geez! Oh but she still needs to be sympathetic so give her a frowny face afterwards. Just have Zhan Tiri remind her how much she hates Rapunzel later, so as to egg her on and keep her doing stupid shit?”  “But why does she hate Rapunzel?”  “Do I have to think of everything BOB!!!???”  

There, there’s my non-so-accurate behind the scene’s glimpse into the Tangled writer’s room when discussing Cassandra’s arc. I could be wrong. There could have been some intricate and complex plan thought out that just didn’t make it onto the screen for whatever reason, or maybe everyone involved was so far up their own ass that they just forgot to give their main villain an actual reason for being the villain. But regardless the over all effect is that Cassandra is handed the idiot ball for a whole freaken season in order to even have a conflict and that is never good writing; or rather she’s hit in the head with it repeatedly. 

This Actually Goes Against Zhan Tiri’s Plan

Zhan Tiri’s short term goal is to be released from her dimensional prison and apparently she needs Cass and Raps to fight into order to do this. This was never established before hand and goes against her disciples pervious plans, but whatever. One could argue that this is just a lie in order to get them to fight later... 

However, this lie jeopardizes her long term goal. She eventually wants to wield both the moonstone and the sundrop herself in order to destroy Corona, but Rapunzel is the sundrop and you can only take her power during an ellipse, supposedly, which means if Cass actually succeeds in killing Rapunzel before then, then Zhan Tiri is up a creek without a paddle. Also if Cassandra did manage to steal Raps’ power with or without an ellipse then Zhan Tiri would still be out of luck. 

This was wholly unnecessary; you didn’t have to go from zero to sixty in one fell swoop. Have Zhan Tiri claim that fighting Rapunzel will award the power to the winner or something. There’s no need to bring up the ‘kill her’ option. That should logically just drive Cassandra away and puts Zhan Tiri’s plan at risk. 

The series wants to act like Zhan Tiri is this master manipulator, a chess master like Zantos or Palpatine, but she couldn’t even tie their shoes. Her plans make no sense and often contradict one another. They only work because the rest of the cast are reduced to imbeciles in order for them to work. 

This Plot Point Contradicts Season Two

His fear of spiders was establish early on, and I’ll accept the clown thing as there’s nothing to contradict it, but Lance has preformed numerous times before now and has never show stage fright. He’s a huge ham and back in Return of Quaid he mentioned how much loved acting and preforming and apparently been on stage before, so where does this fear of singing in public come from? Heck he sung in public just a few episodes ago in Rapunzel’s Return. 

If you have to sacrifice established character into order to make your plot work then you need a new plot. 

This Song is Nice; It Just Needed to Be in a Different Episode 

I’m glad Lance got a solo. He deserved one and the song is good. However it breaks the tension of the climax and gives the episode tonal whiplash. 

More than a song, Lance needed an actual focus episode in season three. One that was fully his. If anyone else shared it with him it needed to be Red and Angry, not Varian and Cass. 

Just imagine if this song came during an episode where he had to watch the girls. Imagine if he was singing it just for them. How much more impactful would that have been? 

Now imagine that we had a Rapunzel and Varian duet in it’s place here. That would have tied the episode together better and helped to further their own stories. Glenn Slater can write lyrics far better than Chris can write dialogue. I bet you a thousand to one Tangled the Series would have solved like half of it’s problems had Menken and Slater been allowed write and actual apology duet between Raps and Varian. 

Such a duet was proposed during Rapunzel’s Return but it could have worked here too, and you could have placed Lance’s solo in Day of the Animals or something, just leave Rapunzel out of that episode all together. 

Nothing honestly needed to be cut music wise, yet for some reason season three has less songs than the other seasons, even when counting the reprises, and they’re mostly shorter too. 

That’s mismanagement right there. Plain and simple. Someone at the top didn’t know how to balance the budget or resources and didn’t know where to the throw the money at. 

You Have a 70 Foot Shield Made of Magic Hair, Rapunzel

You couldn’t think to just block those rocks instead?

Giving your protagonist a big hero moment doesn’t work if they placed the person the have to save in jeopardy to begin with show. 

I Do Not Care About Rapunzel Right Now, Show

Yes, she’s the main character. Yes, her feud with Cass is the main conflict of the season and kicked off the episode. That does not mean that I automatically care about her personal feelings at this moment in time. 

Rapunzel has kept such a tight lid on her real feelings for the whole episode that this just comes out of nowhere. I was never waiting with baited breath for her to confess her deep dark secrets or whatever. 

It’s not even an interesting reveal. It’s just “Oh, see Rapunzel’s human too. She’s gets scared just like everybody else.”. I already fucking knew that, thanks. And what she’s afraid of isn’t even that compelling either; it’s a just a rip off of the prophecy dreams she had back in season one. The same ones that had no explanation and never furthered the story, so why should I care about this one?  

You have to earn the audience’s investment in your conflict. The character’s likability, as little as that may be currently, will only carry you so far, you have to establish shit first.  

Varian’s conflict has been the focus of the entire episode so far, and it’s a conflict that was set all the way back in season one, so of course that is what I’m invested in seeing get resolved. Rapunzel is once again just butting in and making it all about her when it’s not actually her story. 

And if you wanted it to be her story then you should have made her the actual focus to begin with and had her learn something by the end of it. 

This is Poor Choice of Words, Writers 

I could be generous here and pass this off as Rapunzel not fully believing in this prophecy. After all Corona’s destruction is still a hypothetical at this point and Cassandra really has left already. Since the episode is about fear, Rapunzel is of course more afraid of losing Cassandra’s friendship as it’s real tangible possibility. 

More than a possibility even, Rapunzel’s been dumped. Season three is a classic break up story, right down to the poor plotting and tunnel vision, hence why it’s so gay baity. 

However, this reading only carries so far. For starters this is Rapunzel’s what, fourth prophecy dream so far? Haven’t the past three already came true, so why would she think this one wouldn’t? 

Secondly, all that good grace goes right out the window once it becomes clear that, yes, Cassandra is indeed a threat; a threat that Rapunzel refuses to take seriously because she cares more about her own personal validation than her kingdom. 

Even as Cassandra does succeed in destroying Corona, and no doubt harms other people while at it, Rapunzel still is obsessed with ‘winning Cassandra back’. Oh and make no mistake, this is not because she actually cares about Cassandra as a person and her needs or feelings. Nope. Rapunzel just doesn’t like being dumped. 

Why Does Varian Need to Shove His Feelings Aside for Rapunzel’s Bullshit?

Rapunzel’s ‘confession’ has fuck all to do with Varian’s current issues. They do not connect in any way.  

Varian is dealing with real trauma, trauma that she helped cause, while Rapunzel is only dealing with a hypothetical prophecy and one very shallow, self-centered fear. There’s nothing to relate to here. Neither for Varian himself nor the audience. 

Yet for some undefined reason this is what gets Varian to ignore his PTSD flashbacks? What? 

This is once again break the narrative promise. I was promised closure for Varian’s story arc and instead of that the writers just brush it up under the rug. 

From the outside looking in this doesn’t come across as Varian ‘overcoming’ his ‘fear’. It looks like an abuse victim using learned helplessness to placate his abusers.

And yes, for the last time Rapunzel is Varian’s abuser. 

NEGLECT IS ABUSE!!! 

And and even though he is no longer her ‘responsibility’, she is still neglecting him emotionally as his supposed friend. 

Varian’s and Cassandra’s Stories Undermined Each Other’s 

Varian stopped the rocks. Rapunzel had nothing to do with it. Zhan Tiri blaming Rapunzel for it steals agency away from both her and Cassandra. 

However, if Rapunzel had used the hurt incantation to stop the rocks and Cassandra had felt it rom the other side, then you’d have something to back up Zhan Tiri’s claim and an actual point of real conflict to carry the rest of the season. Not to mention an actual tangible goal for Cassandra to work towards, survival. 

Cassandra’s conflict with Rapunzel not only prevents the resolution to Varian’s arc from being satisfying, but Varian fulfilling his arc in turn winds up cutting off Cass’s story at the knees. 

It didn’t have to be this way. Varian’s and Cassandra’s arcs should have complimented each other, but instead the creator decided to make them complete for screen time and relevance. 

It is such an gratingly stupid and petty decision that winds up being a disservice for all the characters involved.   

Cassandra’s motivation and goal should have been revealed back in season two. Varian should have been the sole focus of Rapunzel’s Return and gotten his big hero moment there along; with an actual ending to his conflict with Rapunzel that didn’t feel so lopsided and half assed. Then Rapunzel and Cassandra could have both been held accountable for their conflict in season three, instead of pretending like their shit smelled of roses the whole damn time. 

Lance Got a Whole Crowd Cheering Him On For Singing a Song, Varian Just Gets One Asshole Giving Him a Single Line of Congratulations

Did I mention this show has an odd anti-Varian bias? Cause it does. For whatever reasons his own creators hate him and that’s just utterly baffling to me. Like why create a main character that you don’t like? 

I look down on professional writers who treat characters they didn’t create poorly within their works, like with James Gunn and Scrappy Doo in the Scooby Doo Movie, Adric in the Doctor Who spin offs, or even the treatment of Doofus in Ducktales 2017. I don't care how much a character is liked or disliked by fandom, that shit is just tasteless and often unfunny. But at least I understand where they are coming from when they do it. 

But I’ll never understand what compels a writer to sabotage their own work; one that they are getting paid to write no less. Especially when said character is super popular with their fans. And Chris knows this. He knows the ratings plummeted without Varian in season two. He knows the merch didn’t sell because there wasn’t enough Varian products. That’s why he hyped up Varian’s return a whole week before Season Three’s airing with a massive online campaign, but he wasn’t smart enough to treat the character decently afterwards? 

I mean congrats, you convinced a just enough viewers to come back to season three to keep the show on the air I guess, but you left them all pissed off and have nothing to show for it to the higher ups a Disney. 

And Chris wonders why he wasn’t asked back to work on new Disney princesses shows that are currently in the works. 

That is Not Quirin. That is a Plank of Wood Pretending to be Quirin.

*Beep* *Boop*...*Dad Bot Is Proud. exe* 

Quirin is such a pale shadow of his season one self that he might as well not exist. I genuinely don't know why the writers released from the amber so early if they weren’t actually going to use him until the season finale. 

For the longest time I honestly thought that Rapunzel sucked out his soul with that decay incantation; what with that lyric about “setting the spirit free”. I genuinely thought that would be a later plot point, but nope, it’s just bad writing

Him just saying hi to son once and smiling blankly isn’t compelling and it’s isn’t fulfilling. It doesn’t actually resolve his arc. I mean he’s at least shown spending time with his son, but that’s not enough. We need to see him acknowledge past, we need to see him acknowledge his own flaws, and we need to see him being more attentive when Varian is in need. .  

Season one Quirin would be trying to stop Varian from going near the red rocks, a post season one Quirin should logically go after his son to make sure he’s alright, even if he’s know longer trying to actively stop Varian like he once did. 

There’s also that damn note and it’s secrets! 

You know what? That’s it. That’s the problem. The focus is all wrong in season three. Episodes get pulled into to many directions trying to juggle too many characters rather than dedicating the needed time to each individual arc. 

Season two’s finale should have been a three parter with Cass’s full motivation and goal laid bare before leaving.

Rapunzel’s Return should have been solely about Rapunzel and Varian’s conflict and resolving that arc fully 

Either Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf or Day of the Animals should have been a Lance episode about him and the girl’s, no Rapunzel. 

And this episode should have been about Quirin and Varian resolving their issues, with the Rapunzel and Cass stuff as the B plot not the stupid talent show 

There, all fixed. You don't even have to cut much, just rework the focus and leave Rapunzel and Cassandra out of conflicts they have no business being in. 

This Does Not Excuse Rapunzel’s Later Negligence Regarding Cassandra

Just because the red rocks was an accident doesn’t mean Cassandra should get a free pass for all the awful things she does later. Rapunzel uses this one interaction to excuse everything else Cassandra does in season three, as if she was just some poor lost baby and not a grown ass woman out to kill them. 

In fact Cass showing hesitancy here actually makes her later actions even worse. This means that she fully acknowledges that what she’s about to do is wrong, but goes ahead and does anyway, even gleefully so at times. Then she has to gall to act baffled when people see her as a threat? 0.o 

When fans say Cass isn’t redeemable or shouldn’t be redeemed, it’s not because he actions are so much worse than everybody else’s (even though they are), It’s because she doesn’t act like she wants to be redeemed half the time. The show doesn’t properly set up her ‘redemption’, instead it just lazily has Rapunzel yell at us how she’s ‘not lost’. 

Like below for instance. 

What Does Cass Need Saving From?

Cassandra is not in danger. She is the danger. 

She made the conscious decision to leave taking a world endangering artifact with her, and she later makes the conscious decision to come back and be an asshole for no adequately defined reason. 

She’s never shown to be in any physical danger from the rocks, the moonstone, or even Zhan Tiri herself. She apparently can take care of herself in the wild for over a year. She also has the capability of getting a job else where and just living out her life if she wanted to. Nothing is forcing her to listen to Zhan Tiri. 

Heck, even her hurt arm, the one thing Rapunzel is responsible for and could potentially be a continued threat to Cass’s well being, is just completely forgotten about.

And no, mental illness and past trauma are not excuses as well. In fact it’s rather insulting to both people with mental heath problems and abusive survivors to suggest otherwise. We don't need ‘saving from ourselves’ and we aren’t automatically dangers to anybody. Nor do we get free passes if we hurt someone. A jerk who happens to have a mental illness is just a jerk who so happens to have a mental illness; coloration is not causation. 

Conclusion 

It’s better than Rapunzel’s Return, but this episode was still a disappointment. A small part of me whishes this was a two parter because it has so much untapped potential, but I know it’s just be wasted in Chris’s hands. 

Anyways, I consider this to be the true mid-season finale of S3. Not only did the hiatus kick in after this episode, but it also clearly divides the season between the first half filler and the later Cass conflict. As such the next entry will be the mid-season recap. See ya, then. 

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#anti-tangled #anti-rapunzel #anti-casandra #varian #tangled #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure

[aidensm8]

Random vampire AU ramble just cause it was too tempting

Setting:

All the light sides are vampires, the dark sides are hunters

Patton is head of his own vampire manor

Remus and Roman were born human twins (still a prince and a duke)

Janus is a shapeshifter who became a hunter to protect his friend from a demon that friend made a deal with

Logan is the average working human

Virgil is also a normal human who wanted to make a legacy and so he ran away and became a hunter

__

Storyline:

Patton’s is a pureblooded vampire who owns his own manor, he has gargoyles and other newer vampires to serve him

Logan is a regular human who was stressed about work, he one day runs into the dark woods in a fit of anger when his boss and coworkers piss him off

Logan cools down but then realizes he’s lost

A creature finds Logan, severely injuring him

Patton is out on a hunt when he stumbles into Logan. He feels pity and asks Logan if he can try to save him

Logan says “I doubt there’s anything you can do to save me but yes…” while hoping the stranger meant giving him a merciful death

Logan is surprised when he awakens in a fancy room, his wounds seemingly gone. He feels a huge wave of relief that he’s alive but is now anxious of what to do when he goes back home. He’s panicking but tries to calm down to figure out his situation

Studying his surroundings, he notices that the room has no mirrors

His thoughts are interrupted when one of Patton’s “servants” come to check on him. They give him spare clothes and tell Logan that they’ll inform the master that he’s awake

When Patton enters the room, Logan’s worries are calmed. He recognizes Patton as the stranger who saved him and asks him what he did

Patton apologizes profusely and tells Logan that he is a vampire now

Logan is shocked but now trying to figure what to do, how his job would react

Patton offers to let Logan stay with him, to be his advisor or keeper of the archives

Logan takes a moment to think, he has no friends nor attachments to his human life. He has a chance to feel happy, but knows the feeling of guilt from “running away” from his duties will haunt him

Patton reads his emotions, sensing the guilt, and assures Logan that he’s free to start over, to choose what’s best

Patton gets up to leave since he has duties to attend to, but will return to check on Logan later

As time goes on, Logan is feeling settled in his new role in the manor, doing an excellent job at maintaining the archives

Patton regularly checks on Logan to see how he’s doing until one checkup, Logan asks why Patton cares so much about him, why he saved him

Patton’s response brings Logan to tears. Patton holds Logan close, giving him words of assurance and love, and at that moment, Logan silently vows to himself that he will protect Patton with the 2nd chance of life he has given him

—

Moving on to the twins’ side of the story, Roman and Remus are still prince and duke

Roman is crowned prince but recently, discourse has happened and their father, King Creativity, had made some mistakes to warrant the people wanting the royalty removed

The king makes the mistake of pissing off a vampire, who vows revenge against King

King is immediately worried and gets more security on himself

He made the mistake of letting the twins wander alone in the back gardens, where the vampire attacks them

Remus was the intended target since he was the dark duke, seeming to be a perfect addition to the vampires

But Roman draws his silver sword and intervenes

In a moment of spite, the vampire takes Roman with him to the woods, dropping his sword

Remus chases after them, now wielding the sword, and when he finds the vampire leaning over the unconcious form of his brother

Remus fights off the vampire. As they leave, they mockingly laugh at Remus, asking him “Who will take the throne now? Surely, they wouldn’t want a bloodsucker on it”

Remus looks over Roman, realizing that he had changed

Roman wakes up, and now they’re both worried on what to do next. Either way, this was a loss for their lineage

Patton was on his own hunt when he runs into the twins

Noting Remus’s sword, he asks from a distance what was wrong

Patton felt a wave of protectiveness on him, seeing a vampire so close to a weapon that could harm them

Remus is poised to defend Roman, asking Patton what he wants

Patton tries to calm him down to let him know that he just wants to help and explains to them that from what he sees, Roman was a vampire

Roman is panicked at this, but Patton offers to take in the prince

Remus tries to stop this, but Patton argues that Roman needs someone to help him figure out this new life

Roman is also hesitant, but knows that only tragedy awaits them if they return home. He asks “what about my brother?”

Remus withdraws, realizing Patton is right, but knows he can’t return home either so Remus decides that he’s going to pursue being a vampire hunter to protect his brother from other vampires and hunters

Roman is worried about this but Remus assures him that he’ll find a way, as he always does

Patton takes Roman home with him, and Remus takes his leave to begin a new journey of hunting evils, he will be the evil they fear

__

Years pass, and Patton is very protective of Roman as he is like a son to him

Logan also views Roman as a son, and is protective of him, but is more protective of Patton

Remus meets Janus during one of his missions, and they quickly became hunting buddies

Remus figured Janus wasn’t human, and Janus admits

Janus suspects Remus isn’t just a messy hobo, as he noticed that Remus had some grace in his gestures and way of speaking, seeming like he is very much educated though his usual manner of speaking seems like the opposite

Virgil and Janus were old friends

Virgil finds that Remus does have features that seem very much royal, but brushes it off since Remus acted so weird

Virgil doesn’t agree with Remus’s messy methods, but stays nice for Janus’s sake

Virgil wanted to be bold, and so he tries to go on a mission alone

Virgil meets Roman, and is entranced by the vampiric prince

He realizes how much he looked like Remus

He can’t find it in him to attack Roman, and Roman, smelling Remus’s scent on Virgil, cautiously asks him who he is, using his vampiric power of persuasion

Virgil tells him that he’s a hunter who wants to make a legacy for himself

Roman tells him that not all legacies end welp (such as his and Remus’s), and leaves

Virgil takes in Roman’s words, realizing he had a point. He decides to try to find Roman again just so he can talk to him, but for now, he returns to the inn where he meets up with Janus and Remus

He tells him about meeting a vampire and wanting to deal with it alone

Remus wants to come, but Virgil insists not to

Janus convinces Remus to just let Virgil do as he wants, and they leave

After a while, Virgil finally finds Patton’s manor

The servants are alert and attack him until Roman pops in, seeing Virgil, and asks them to let Virgil be

He asks Virgil to leave, but Virgil doesn’t want to lose Roman again

“You can’t lose what you never had”

Virgil looks defeated, but Roman gives him a forhead kiss, “but perhaps one day, we’ll have each other”

Virgil blushes, but is now outside. He leaves, but he finds Roman waiting for him where they first met, and they start slow with small conversations which escalate to “May I hold your hand?” then to “May I kiss you?”

Virgil realizes maybe he doesn’t want to be a hunter anymore. He tells Janus about his thoughts of wanting to settle down, which Janus finds suspicious

So when Virgil meets with Roman, he says he has a surprise for later, giving Roman a quick kiss before leaving

Roman is confused but watches as Virgil heads to the direction of the manor

He is about to follow him but Janus pins him down by surprise, thinking Roman may be a shapeshifter since he looked just like Remus but cleaner

Janus tells Remus to help him but when Remus recognizes who Janus is holding, he attacks Janus to get him off his brother

“Remus, what the fuck, that shifter is using your face”

Remus stands protectively in front of Roman

Remus explains that the vampire was his brother and the reason why he became a hunter

Janus is shocked at this, but calms down as he realizes that this may be a revelation for Remus’s background and motives

Roman and Remus hug as they tell each other how much they missed the other, telling stories of what had happened

Janus is just there, until Remus remembers and introduces him as his boyfriend, joking about the whole “in-laws sure do love attacking each other lmao”

Roman is shocked, but is open to meet the person who had been taking care of his brother in his absence

Meanwhile, Virgil had asked to meet with Patton

Patton agrees and Virgil now sits in his office/grand hall

Virgil explains that he wants Patton to turn him into a vampire

Patton agrees and Virgil becomes a vampire himself

Remus, Roman, and Janus had decided to go back to the town so the brothers can catch up since Roman was very excited about seeing Remus again

Later that night, Remus fell asleep first and Janus and Roman get to talk. It’s a bit tense since their first interaction was a fight

They apologize about the fight before and they find they have many interests in the same field, even having near equal acting prowess

Janus then moves the conversation along to ask for Roman’s blessing in proposing to Remus

Roman is happy for his brother and agrees

Roman is happy to stay the night so he can have more time with his brother

Virgil was waiting for Roman to return at the manor, and when he didn’t return, he got worried. Patton tries to assure him that Roman tends to have little misadventures that last a few days, but Virgil was still anxious

In the morning, he decides to return to the inn to pick up his stuff

Janus and Remus woke up before Roman did and Janus gets to talking about them, and how much he looks forward to Roman being his immortal brother-in-law

Virgil returns and seeing upon seeing Remus and Janus hovering over an unconcious Roman, has his anxieties assuming the worst and he goes feral protective

Caught off-guard, Remus and Janus didn’t stand much of a chance. When Janus tries to ask Virgil what he’s done to himself, Virgil doesn’t respond, carrying Roman back to the manor

Uh…. fuck, this ramble got long o_o

So I’ll pause now, thanks for taking the time to read if you made it down here. I may consider making a part 2 (for when Logan meets Remus, Virgil and Janus making up, Patton being a dad to all of them, etc) but anyways, that’s all for this post

#vampire au #sanders sides #roman sanders #remus sanders #deceit sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #creativitwins #logicality #tw vampire #tw death mention #death mention tw #tw betrayal #tw revenge #tw fighting #injury tw #tw injury #profanity tw #tw profanity #weapon tw #tw demon #aiden rambling #doodlem8 #prinxiety #dukeceit #demus #long post

[hunterartemis]

Media Bias (Avengers X Alien!Reader)

It was a request from anonymous reader and since I have limited experience with tagging, I am going to quote the person’s request here:

“ Hi can you please do Avengers x reader where the reader is like Starfire from og teen titans (but the reader is green and the blasts are blue) and the Avengers go on a talk show and the host is being very mean to her. Thanks”

So, dear anonymous. I hope you enjoy!“

Words: a whopping 4100

Y/n, open the door” I heard Sam thudding away on my door as I buried myself in the layers of blanket and put the air condition humid enough to cause a mini monsoon.

“Go away Wilson and leave me alone--” I bellowed on top of my voice.

“Y/n it’s been more than 7 hrs, you got to come out... whatever happened in the morning you gotta let it go--”

“I don’t wanna let it go... I am a national embarrassment--”

You must be thinking, what is the situation you’ve been dragged into. Let me pause there and rewind 17 hours back to give you a complete understanding which lead to this complete mess.

People think our story ended and sealed with Thanos never got to see what we go through in the New York penthouse. With the ongoing Pandemic on board, people are desperate to see us even more, as if it is the new Thanos and we are to defeat it. There is no greater sense of helplessness than playing the puppet of courage without doing anything. So whoever wrote that “after the defeat of big bad, the heroes rejoice” was a big idiot.

And thus, I found myself awake after hours, sitting alongside the broad glass panel that showed the completely stopped-in-time, shining in the dark cityscape of once bustling New York. A fleeting sense of desolation plagued me as I remember my own world in the verge of extinction. My breath almost stopped in the great worry of my fellow living being in this planet; the one who saved me from destitution--

 “y/n, is that you?”A calm and concerned paternal voice broke the train of my thought. I sharply looked behind my shoulder to see a disheveled figure of man standing in the dark. By the tousled curls and the slouched hem of the sweatpants, I knew was Bruce.

“Urh, you startled me!” I said with a dismissive voice. I felt almost embarrassed to realize what I was thinking moments ago. I took a deep breath and tried to compose myself.

“It’s you who startled me y/n, what are you doing up so late?” Bruce said with a groggy voice rubbing his eyes rather irritatingly. “We have an important event to attend tomorrow first thing in the morning” he slowly moved towards from the shadowy part of the room to the path of dimmed light from the glass panel and spared a long glance at my face. The way he looked at me sometimes irritated me, because it was an inalienable fact that he fell into the same category of humans who express an unhealthy obsession with my kind: a scientist.

“It’s not like I enjoy staying up like you Lowly Human...I am as stressed for tomorrow as you are!” I tore my face from his ken to express my displeasure. In reply, he sighed disappointedly, which sounded patronizing in my already agitated mind.

“I wish you’d stop insulting my specie whenever you get upset...” he gently put his hand in my shoulder, but soon he withdrew and stepped back. “And what is that god-awful smell?”

Any female whether she is human or not is very sensitive to criticism, especially about how she appears, thus Bruce’s comment was not only offensive but hurtful as well. I could not restrain my anger and annoyance anymore, and I stood up sharply to face him “I just happen to wet myself in the rain yesterday at my detour downtown and it turns out it has too much sulphuric acid and it is peeling my skin away... right before when I am about to go up close on television.”  My hand subconsciously moved up to my cheek, where flakes were forming in my otherwise jade smooth skin. “And you are telling me to stop insulting your specie... I will when you unicellular cretins will stop ruining your own environment—“ I folded my arms defensively, gazing away from Bruce’s face “--as if I don’t get ridiculed enough for my chrorophyllic skintone, and now I am shedding like a common reptile.”

“Alright alright I am sorry...” Bruce threw up his arms defensively, and his small paces back and forth showed his discomfort more than anything, “do you want something for your skin, CeraVe or something? I can fetch you some ice if you want?”

His apologetic gesture made my whole effort defeated; but my pride disrupted me from being apologetic “Forget it... as if those human manures would work on my skin—“ I heaved a sigh and looked at him again “must we do the thing? I mean I am not the only alien that set foot on earth in this decade, why must I be walked around like a showdog in front of all the people?”

For some moments Bruce did not answer me. I almost thought he was ignoring me, but then I realised that he must be contemplating on every word he wanted to say and every word that was running through his brilliant mind. Out of anyone in the team, Bruce was the visual hole, the less than heroic material: even with the Hulk. And for this, the society made sure that he would be self conscious for the rest of his life for his other identity. My annoyance almost melted to sympathy when I heard him speak in a rather frustrated voice.

“Y/N, I know that you are stressed about this and frankly I hate this stuff too, but this is very important for the people: for your people as well as ours. Not all things that come from the space are benign and people need reassurance that you are not hostile. I hate this too, but it is for the greater good!”

“Greater good, greater good... it is always for the greater good!”  The same old daily whining of lofty agenda made me sick “I am sick and tired of these Brucie, I don’t want to do this anymore... I am tired about people asking me weird questions and cretins posing as scientists trying to push probes on me the first chances they get-- I wish I could just disappear with the portal that brought me in this cursed place!“

Bruce came closer and grabbed my shoulders gently “Don’t say that y/n... otherwise we wouldn’t have the means to counterattack all those aliens—“ my silence might have given him the cue that he wasn’t doing a very good job at convincing. His wavering eyes fixed on my face once again as he spoke “okay, here is a deal: how about it is the last time you appear in public, hm? Once you satisfy them that you are part of the team, I swear people will leave you alone... they left the Hulk alone too once they understood that he is one of the good guys!”

“No but...“

“No ifs and buts... go, and have some sleep. Let me look in the lab if we have some squalanes and peptide solutions lying around—“ he said with a paternal affection and disappeared into the dark passage which lead to his room

“Thanks Brucie you are the best—“

I couldn’t help but to smile a little. Humans!

...

“This is a bad idea I am telling you--“ I told Bruce with an hushed tone as the makeup artist went on with a puff on my face for the millionth times. The rest of my team was behind me, getting the same attentions to their dismay. I could tell Bucky was downright uncomfortable as his makeup artist had a hard time getting not distracted by his bionic arm; and Wanda was downright glaring at the man who kept flicking the brush on her nose.

“relax y/n, you are smart and you are friendly, you are going to ace this and trust me people are going to love you--“ Bruce said with gritted teeth to make sure no one could tell what he was saying. He almost flinched as some of the powder made into his nose and the makeup artist followed him up with a q-tip.

“My face is itchy...“ I whispered again, trying not to gouge my face out with my nails as the powder sat on the flaky part of the cheek. If this wasn’t a studio I would have scratched my face like a lunatic and ended up as someone who was attacked by a bear in the mountains. And I was glad that I was standing beside Bruce who knew how not to go overboard with the things. Clint would have brushed them off, Wanda and Bucky would have panicked, and Sam’s gestures no matter how genuine would have made me laugh.

“Wanda already told the makeup artist to spray you with Squalane, your face isn’t half as bad as it were yesterday night“ Bruce then went on politely gesturing the makeup artist to spray the stuff Bruce brought from the lab in a clear bottle, and the look on the Makeup Artist’s face was between annoyance and bursting into tears.

“Brucie...“ “I don’t wanna mess it up--“ I said nervously as we walked into the couch and settled with the others.

“Trust me you won’t... “ Bruce graciously consoled me.

The cameraman cued and we were all gestured to look into the main camera as the lights in front of us adjusted accordingly. Within all hustle and bustle, the host walked in like a royalty, and by the looks of his face and those following him with makeup and refreshment, he had a really bad morning.

“We will go on air in 3, 2 and 1”

“Good Morning America, this is your host Justin Fallon and welcome to another episode of The Early Show. Today we have with us some really special guests. You might know them from News, the murals, the comics and the Merchs please welcome our own global superheroes: The Avengers. Welcome to our show” the host said with an uncomfortable friendliness and turned towards us.

"Thanks for having us with you" Sam answered graciously, with a little awkwardness. I could understand why; it was always Tony, Steve and Natasha who spoke in public. After such a terrible loss, he is struggling to fill up their shoes for the sake of our public image. He had been wrapped up into a pretty bad controversy recently for succeeding as Captain America and it had a pretty bad toll on him—to the point his speech kind of went from cheerful to composed in an unnatural way.

 "It’s been way too long since our morning couch looked so colorful and it surely brightens up the day.” The host said with an obligatory politeness. Although the term was innocent enough but it seemed not so—I instantly froze up and million things started flying inside my head: was I looking good enough, is my patches showing under the layers of power and squalane. Turns out it was not me alone. From the corner of my eye I could sense the tension behind me from Clint and Bucky and I know it was different than mine. The host must have wanted the old team, and looked like he was stuck with the mediocre leftovers.

“Thank you...“ Sam replied.

“So here you guys are after averting the big wipeout crisis, in the quiet and chilling, so how does it feel to be in the pensive from being hyperactive all the time?“

“Well, at first it did feel kind of boring and lack luster, but slowly we are adjusting to it. With the ongoing Pandemic crisis I think we just have to adjust to the situation. In a way, I think we are all helping each other by staying inside and recuperating.” Sam answered diplomatically.

“That’s so nice” the interviewer said quite curtly and then changing the topic he sharply turned to Doctor Banner “I know of all you people Dr. Banner will find this Lockdown Leisure slightly more comforting, isn’t that so Doctor Banner?”

Wait, what was that? Was that even normal? Sam was sitting in the front and after him Bucky, then Wanda and then Bruce. Should not he come gradually? Breathe... maybe I am reading too much into this. Keep a friendly face, don’t think too much... the entire nation is watching... this is the one time I have to do things right! It’s for me, my team who housed me and my people.

I had to give props to Bruce for managing things calmly despite his claims about public speaking. He politely replied “Well theoretically it should be but it’s not like causes of anger cannot exist within the so called peaceful environment if you think about it, but I am glad you showed your concern” and like a pro, reached out to the glass in front of him to sip some water—like some real celebs in talk shows.

“Isn’t that true! So Solaris, how does it feel to be surrounded by the icons of the earth?”

I wasn’t really ready for the sudden attention. For a second I blanked out completely and gaped my mouth like a complete idiot. My stupefied face must have been quite prominent because the host tried to laugh it off lightly to divert the attention. I am still wrapping my head around the fact how some humans work so beautifully under so much attention—If I could choose between blasting off alien armies and speaking in talk shows, I will take the aliens instead.

“I..I--It’s quite fun... there is never a dull moment with them--“ I manage to utter, and thankfully it wasn’t a gurgling sound from a deep abyss.

“The thing is, being the most newest member, you sort of have a mystery around you, the kind of a Blue Comet sort--“

“Oh thank you— “ great going me, like a real talk show celeb—keep it up!

“So why don’t we break that down... Solaris, is that true that you came from a whole another galaxy which is not Milky Way?” the Talk show host asked, reading from a small piece of card.

Finally, something I can talk about all day: stars, planets and galaxy. I will have to slay this, I chanted inside and replied after drawing a breath “Yes that’s true. I am from Planet Auriga from Pleiades system. Our Sun is Alcyone, the second brightest star right after Aldebaran. You people call our system Taurus Constellation--” 

“--so much astrophysics, take notes kids they might ask you at the NASA interview.“ the talk show host interrupted. It annoyed me greatly because I could finish the words I worked so hard to speak confidently. So that’s how Bruce must feel all the time when people interrupted him when he explains things. However the host went on as if nothing happened “For a near human creature in this planet, do you identify more with the Professor X’s troop or with the Avengers?”

Near human creature? My race is literally the most Superior in all of galaxy.

“I don’t really understand what you mean...” I said as politely as I could manage.

“I mean isn’t it hard to fit in when you are the only alien in the group--“

The flippant remark was rude and I tried not to wrap my head around it. I recalled Bruce’s words to keep cool and maintain a neutral face replied : “I mean I am not the only one, Thor is also not of the earth and he is a darling to be around. Alien or not I think I have learned a lot about myself and the ways of earth by spending time with this wonderful people?“

I could hear the audience clapping and cheering with my reply. A surge of pride swept across my chest and I smiled slightly at the audience.

“How sweet--“ the host said, keeping with the cheerful mood “as the outer world people are coming into the planets, we think a lot of things are shifting, do you find it hard to cope into the earth from where you come from--“

Finally, a thoughtful question, I made a solid eye contact with the host and replied “No, the atmosphere is pretty much the same in Auriga, but I think humans can do a lot better taking care of the environment. I know for a fact that millions of planets and their lifeforms were extinct because of excesses I see on earth.”

The thoughtfulness of the host was only for so long “The girl’s been around... if you know what I mean—“ he commented with a little wink, and from the audience’s laugh I knew he didn’t mean something polite or mildly positive. After the laughter subsided, he turned again to me “I dig the midnight blue hair... it is so contradictory and yet it works“ he complimented “because you know scale and hair are not something we see very often in our planet--“ 

Excuse me, what was that supposed to mean?

“--so tell me are the lapis cascades all natural? I mean they are not dyed at all?”

“No they are not... the special keratin bond that reflect the blue pigment of the natural light but they are actually transparent—“ I added objectively.

“So that means in the right lighting you don’t need to mow the bush—“ the host said with a curved smile on his lips, and the audience went on laughing in the same manner they did moments ago.

Even under the blowing airconditioner, I started t feel really warm around my neck “I really don’t know what you mean; you are making any sense at all! Do you guys need special light to mow the bush, do you do in the solstices or during the eclipses—“  this time I didn’t hide the fact that I was annoyed.

“--she is really really funny you guys--“ the host again smiled and acted like I was a stone wall and my reaction didn’t register in his mind at all. “So you are saying you don’t mow your bush at all?“

“I live in a New York Penthouse, there is no bush--“ honestly if this wasn’t a dumb talk show, I would have taught this impudent human a lesson.

The host looked a little uncomfortable as our eye contact lasted for several seconds. He cleared his throat and went on “Okay you guys, she just clarified that there is no bush, so let’s move on to your...your look... I am so fascinated by it, it’s so reptile chic--“

What’s your fascination with cold blooded animals? Are you asking to die like one?

“Um, thanks...?!”

“So how do you manage to maintain this--“

That was honestly the last straw. This host is impolite and rude and he leeches off the discomfort of his talk show host. When this realisation hit, all my self-control and self preservation went out of the window. The vacuum was replaced by the sheer annoyance towards the host who deliberately mistreated us since the beginning.

“Do you think that’s how I live, maintaining my skin and mowing the bush--“ my pitch rose from my previous composed tone “I mean what kind of questions are these?“

The host was still wearing his phony smile on his face, but I could see the colour slightly draining off his face “No I was just asking, because the audience wants to know--“

“I think the audience is smart enough to understand that they cannot get the green skin on natural blue hair, so can you move on to a more sensible question?“ I answered heatedly and defensively at the same time, and as I spoke I felt the aura of tension shifting from discomfort to sheer panic.

“Y/n... don’t do this--” I heard Bucky whisper very faintly from above.

“Solaris, don’t get me wrong, but we don’t always get a green-skin hottie on the morning couch, don’t be offended!” he said while he gestured covertly to cut the camera on the other side. I have to give this man an applause , I could tell he had busted all his courage but he kept the face of nonchalance too good to be true—no wonder he sat on this chair for so long.

“What’s your obsession with the skin colour?—“ I said heatedly as I stood up from my seat “Don’t you dare cut the camera... don’t you dare! Do you think you humans are the epitome of beauty from which point everyone in the galaxy should confirm? I am sick of this... Everyone, I am so sorry for your wasted time but no more of this!”

“Solaris--“ this time it was Sam’s voice that implored me from the sides. For a split second I felt bad for him, because as Captain America, he would have to take the heat from the public. But I was at the point of no return. If I back out now, I would be called a pushover and I would have to endure that image for the rest of my life in the earth.

“You know what, as you are so obsessed with my looks, I would love to show you another thing of mine that is blue--”

Blast

So long story short, Solaris goes to a morning talk show, Solaris encounters a rude host and Solaris blasts him with her Blue Sun Beam. Biggest disaster ever!

The thudding outside the door would not stop, and honestly their over attention was getting on my nerves “honestly, why don’t you go away... what are you, my royal nanny?”

“Very funny Solaris... now come out and get some food--” this time it was Bucky who spoke. Although he was the shortest to reply, but it made me well up. He had the shittiest history amongst all of us: hunted, betrayed, manipulated and now sidelined—how can I see my problems bigger than him.

 “How can I... I ruined everything, all the reputation you built throughout the year, I blew it up within 3 minutes, how can I show my face to you guys! I was supposed to be the superior being--“

A moment of silence followed. But then the old familiar calm voice spoke from the other side

“y/n... It’s not about superior or inferior, you were just very very honest with your feeling! sometimes it’s good for the public, sometimes it is not. I mean look at me--I have struggling with my anger all my life and god knows the stuff I have wrecked in Hulk state. It’s okay to make a mistake... no one blames you!”

“Ha ha right...“ I replied sarcastically, feeling mad about how well Bruce understood my situation.

“Honestly, the way you acted today... Tony would have been proud!”

I could not hold myself anymore. All the feeling that has been plaguing me until now: embarrassment, guilt, confusion, sadness... all came down like a thundering rain with that one statement. I rushed and slammed the door open and jumped on Bruce to embrace him into a tight hug. At first I could tell Bruce was taken aback, but soon his firm arms snaked under my back to hold me tightly.

“I am so sorry... I ruined you all--“ I hid my face in Bruce’s shoulder. Suddenly I felt a gentle pat on my back, I straightened up and looked, it was Sam. His awkward cautionary expression was gone and he looked cherry as the old days “As Captain America, I cannot condone your behaviour, but as Sam... well, that jerk deserved it--“ he reached for his pocket and took out his cellphone “and hundred thousand people in New York agree with you“

I looked at him with a curious expression as he gave me his phone. When I looked at it, it was a tabloid video that had the clip of me blasting the host and it had—

“Stars in galaxies!... 100K likes?” I exclaimed

“And look down, there are comments too--” Bucky scrolled down from behind my shoulder to descend to the white space.

That jerk deserves it, he was literally harassing her...You go Solaris #MeToo

Solaris is so cool, I wish I was as cool as her.

Ugh, I hate that morning show host, if I was in her place I would have thrown him off the stark tower, #SunQueen

Racists never change, and We stan our color positive hero #SolarisRocks

Humans...

...

Okay, that took a lot of time because at first I didn’t know how to work on the request, then I had to go back and forth and rewrite most of it two times because I wasn’t convinced it was good. So I sincerely hope it’s good because I am freaked out as hell.

I also gave reader a name because she is inspired by an alien character in TeenTitans called “Starfire”. So I call her Solaris, and was constantly reminded of Solar of Mamamoo (TMI)

I don’t hate on Fallon, I just used his name because it is recognisable by American public and I also had to see a lot of Jimmy Fallon’s show to write about the Talk Show plot. I was also greatly inspired by Naomi Campbell, RDJ and Nicki Minaj’s interviews.

#avengers x reader #alien reader #skin color #teen titans og #starfire inspired #yay I got a request #rude talk show imagine #avengers x reader imagine

[janetbrown711]

I request the scene we discussed 😂 Lena returning after eloping with William

Important note: I’m officially making the Angelina 1 Lives alternate timeline/au thing a story, and this is technically the beginning. I’ll string the other two into the plot line eventually, but yeah XD sorry for the confusion, I tend to write what I want before I write what makes sense :P

Princess Angelina II was engaged to Sir William the Good, though it was in secret. After all, he was just a knight and she was the princess. For a moment, Lena thought their luck might be on their side when her mother fell deathly ill, but by truly miraculous means, the queen survived, which meant they had to continue in secret.

However, secrets had a cost to them, in the sense that no one else knew. This meant that Lena still had to deal with suitors coming over and trying to romance her, while she had already sworn herself to William. Needless to say, time was wearing on William and Lena more than they had originally thought. Still, they remained hopeful and patient that their time would come.

“Angelina, you have to at least accept one of the suitors. It’s better to at least not hate your future husband before marriage,” Queen Angelina the First gave her daughter a quick glare as she looked over papers. 

“I don’t like any of them, what can I say?” Lena shrugged. 

“You know, I really hoped it wouldn’t come to this-”

“Something I highly doubt,” Lena interrupted her mother. 

“Watch your tone,” Angelina warned, and Lena stepped down. 

“As I was saying... I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but since your impertinence has given me no other option, I will be selecting the suitor for you,” She said, signing one of the papers. Lena paused. 

“I-I’m sorry, what?” She blinked. 

“You’ve only done this to yourself, Angelina, I’ve no other choice. You aren’t getting any younger here,” She eyed her daughter up and down. 

“I- uh- will you excuse me, mother? I need to go,” Lena asked. Her mother looked at her suspiciously before nodding. Not wanting to be in there for a moment longer, Lena bolted out of the room and ran across the palace, all the way down to the royal stables, where William was. 

“Lena? What’s the matter?” He asked as he got off his horse. 

“My mother... she said...” Lena panted. “She said... she’s gonna... arrange...”

“Lena, you aren’t making sense. Have you been running?” William raised an eyebrow. Lena rolled her eyes and paused to catch her breath. 

“My mother said that because I didn’t pick a suitor, she’s choosing for me,” Lena explained. 

“Oh... oh that’s not good. What are we gonna do?” He asked her. Lena thought. 

“We... we need to get married. Now,” She said. 

“What- now now?” William asked. 

“Well yes, I don’t know how long I’ll have. We need to do this, and we need to do this now,” Lena said, grabbing his hand. 

“Where are you going?” William questioned.

“The underground servant's tunnels. They go all over the kingdom. If we go far enough we can find a town with a  priest and be married there. Hopefully, they won’t mind the short notice,” She explained. 

“Or the fact you’re the princess,” William pointed out. 

“...Yeah, that too,” Lena said, realizing she hadn’t thought that through. Still, she didn’t stop walking and soon enough they made it to one of the entrances. 

“So... where to?” She asked him. William read all of the signs before snapping his fingers. 

“I know a place where I know they won’t refuse us,” He winked, taking his fiancées hand. 

“Oh? And where is such a place?” She chuckled, enjoying the moment of rebelliousness. 

“Acme Falls, my home town. They love me there, I’m sure they’d love you too,” He smiled at her, and together they ran down the dark tunnels for hours, only stopping once or twice to catch their breath. Eventually, they surfaced and wandered right into the middle of the plaza. 

“So... now what?” She asked. 

“William? Is... is that you?” A very attractive blonde woman asked. 

“Heloise!” William smiled at the sight of his childhood friend. 

“William! What on earth are you doing here?” She ran and hugged him. “And with the crown princess-?! Oh my- I’m so sorry, your highness,” She immediately dipped into a curtsey. 

“Oh please, any friend of William is a friend of mine,” Angelina smiled. “If I may, you are quite gorgeous,” She added. 

“Thank you,” Heloise chuckled, embarrassed. 

“We’re here to be married,” William explained. 

“You’re engaged to the princess???” Heloise asked. “Aren’t you two supposed to have a giant wedding ceremony with the whole kingdom invited? Isn’t that how royal weddings are supposed to go? My- I didn’t even think a knight could marry a princess,” She thought out loud.

“Actually, he- can’t. Not with my mother knowing anyway,” Lena explained. “That’s why we came here- to be married in secret.”

“Oh eloping is very romantic,” She nodded understandingly. “William knows where the church is. I can get the priest and a few townsfolk if you want,” she offered. 

“That’d be great, thank you,” William smiled. Heloise nodded, and ran off. 

“I guess you weren’t kidding about this place, huh?” Lena chuckled. 

“Acme Falls is practically perfect, what can I say?” He snorted. “Shall we?” he offered his arm. Lena took it with a smile. 

“We shall.”

And so Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca II and Sir William the Good were married in Acme Falls, with the town as their witnesses, and Lena was the happiest she had ever been in her whole life. Happily, they walked back to the castle, but they both stopped right before reaching the exit. 

“Are you ready?” William asked. 

“I don’t know. Why do we have to return?” Lena questioned. 

“Because it’s almost nightfall and you’re the princess and your mother would likely send a search party and it’d be a whole catastrophe,” Willaim joked, but Lena wasn’t in the mood for laughing anymore. 

“I’m frightened William,” She said. 

“It’ll be okay, Lena. I’ll always be here for you, remember?” He said, giving her hand a squeeze. 

“Right,” Lena nodded, about to step forward before stopping herself. 

“Stay with me tonight?” She requested. William nodded. 

“Of course, my love,” He said, and they shared a kiss. 

“Let’s go then,” Lena took in a deep breath, and together they stepped out onto the castle grounds. 

And so Lena and William slowly crept their way into her bedroom, far enough apart as to not raise suspicion, and spent the closet thing they’d have to a honeymoon together. In the morning, William kissed her goodbye, and climbed out the window, and went to his training, and she missed him terribly (despite being only a few buildings away).

Therefore, their secret engagement now turned into a secret marriage; a marriage that Lena realized she was going to have to tell her mother about sooner or later before it was too late and she was already in the middle of another wedding ceremony. However- she wasn’t quite ready and preferred to hold onto her nights of paradise with William however long as possible before her mother tried to ruin it somehow. 

Except she couldn’t, Lena reminded herself. Divorce was simply unheard of, especially for royalty, so her mother would simply have to deal with it. That was the main reason they eloped in the first place.  

The good/bad news was that William had been promoted to be a guard inside the castle, so Lena would see him much more often than she used to, but it was awkward because she couldn’t talk to him, much less flirt. Plus, he often watched over her mother in the throne room, and he said that it was “the most stressful situation he’d ever been in”. 

“Excuse me, Princess, your mother said she’d like to see you,” A servant girl stood outside of Lena’s room. 

“Whatever for?” Lena asked, setting down her book. The girl shrugged. With a sigh, Lena set down her book.

“Does she seem upset?” She asked, getting up and heading out of the room. 

“No... in fact, she seems almost happy, your highness,” The girl said. 

“My mother? Happy?” Lena blinked. “This can’t be good...” she said, picking up her pace. With haste, she reached the throne room. 

“Lena, there you are,” Her mother smiled at her, “You’ve met King Benedict,” she gestured to the king standing by her throne. 

Uh oh. 

“Why, yes I have,” Lena nodded at him, sharing a quick glance with William in the corner. 

“He’s the one you’ll be marrying,” She announced. 

Shit. 

“Mother, may I have a word with you- alone?” Lena asked with a nervous smile. Angelina frowned. 

“It’s already been decided for you, Angelina. You didn’t decide and because of that-” 

“I know, but I do need to talk with you,” Lena interrupted her mother before she could think to stop herself. The queen’s eye twitched. 

“Fine.” She huffed. “King Benedict, you may wait in the grand hall,” she said. He nodded at her, then Lena, and left. Then, her mother’s focus went back to her. 

“This better be good Angelina, or so help me,” The queen threatened, and Lena felt a shiver crawl up her spine. She looked at William for support, and he gave her a weak smile. She took a deep breath. 

“Mother, I can’t marry him,” She said. 

“You don’t have a choice,” Her mother rolled her eyes. 

“I’m serious. I can’t,” Lena said again. 

“And why is that?” Angelina rubbed her forehead. 

“Because I’m already married,” Lena announced. Her mother froze. 

“To whom?” She demanded. 

“Sir William,” Lena admitted. Angelina’s eyes went to William, and he remained still as a statue. 

“Really now?” Angelina chuckled darkly. 

“It’s true. We eloped in Acme Falls three nights ago,” Lena said. 

“You expect me to believe that?” Angelina continued to laugh it off.

“Well- yes. We have certificates and everything- it was legally binding,” Lena didn’t know how else to explain such a simple fact to her mother. 

The queen leaned on her throne and thought for a minute. 

“Well, I suppose it’s a simple fix really, I could just have him execute-”

“A-and I’m pregnant!” Lena shouted over her mother, and the room fell utterly silent. 

“Y-you are..?” William blinked. 

“Yep,” She lied, laughing nervously. 

Definitely no going back on that one...

“Guards, leave,” The queen ordered, her face utterly unreadable. William and Lena shared a look of anxiety before he was forced to walk out. Once they left there was a long stretch of silence, before Angelina slowly took off her gloves, stood up, approached her daughter, and struck her across the face. 

“You stupid, pathetic, wretched child! Do you know how much you’ve just cost me?!” She shouted. “I’ve spent years upon years upon years finding eligible bachelors for you, and yet you never gave them a second thought, and for what? Some bastard from Acme Falls?!”  

“Don’t you dare talk about William like that,” Lena protested, and Angelina struck her again, this time causing her to fall onto the floor. 

“I will say whatever the hell I want because I am your mother and I am your queen,” She said, towering over her. 

“If you kill him I’ll kill myself and you’ll be left with nothing,” Lena looked up at her. 

“Of all the impertinent, aggravating, abominable things you’ve done, you’ve decided to top it all off by marrying a filthy peasant,” The queen was barely keep in her anger. “I just- I can’t believe my own flesh and blood would betray me like this.”

“Oh please, like you’ve ever treated me like ‘flesh and blood’,” Lena muttered. 

“I have done nothing but care for you. I’ve clothed you, given you a home and an education, and provided you with numerous options for your future and future suitors. It’s not my fault you’re so impertinent that you refused to consider them for even a moment,” She clenched her fists.

“You’ve never loved me,” Lena said, tears beginning to stream down her face. “If you did, you’d be happy for me.”

“You never think anything through, Angelina. Did you not stop to think about how this would impact the kingdom? How this would impact me?” She asked. 

“I hate you,” Lena glared, and Angelina hit her again. 

“You are going to pay for your actions, Angelina. The hard way,” She declared. 

“It’s too late mother. There is nothing you can do to undo what’s been done,” Lena smirked. 

However, she quickly regretted her pride when her mother angrily yanked her hair and pulled her up, and then proceeded to drag her all the way up to the tallest tower of the castle. Her mother then tossed her in there and locked the door with a key she kept in her pocket. 

“You will not be leaving this room until you have understood a fraction of the pain and agony you have caused me,” She said, before storming away.

And so Lena stayed in the cold, dark room and found herself sobbing and sobbing and sobbing and sobbing until she was sick to the stomach. 

Things were supposed to get better. She was supposed to be untouchable. She and William were married now- it was supposed to be okay. 

Instead, now she was locked away for who knows how long in a dark, cold room with a bare-bones bed, a broken mirror, a blanket as thin as paper, and a window.  

Lena picked up a shard of the broken glass, and without thinking, she chopped her hair off. 

That was one less thing her mother could manipulate...

And William... what was going to happen to him?

Would she kill him? Could she? He’s a trained knight, one of the best across all the lands, surely she couldn’t kill him “the old fashioned way”. Surely that would mean he would be okay... right?

And what if she was pregnant? Sure, she lied out there but she could be right. Oh, what terrible circumstances to be born into...

And so Lena remained sobbing, eventually setting the glass shard down, and laying on the horrible bed and holding herself, trying to get some sense of comfort. 

However, soon she felt another pair of arms wrap around her, and to her complete surprise, it was William. 

“William- w-what-? H-how-?” 

“Shh, it’s okay Lena, I’m here, it’s okay,” he hushed her. Lena didn’t argue.

“B-but how?” She asked. 

“I climbed,” He said. 

“Th-that’s like- 50 feet. You could’ve died,” Lena broke the hug. 

“Lena, it’s okay. I made it, and I’m here, that’s all that matters,” he placed a hand on her face, wiping away a few tears. Lena didn’t have it in her to argue further, so she hugged him again and continued to sob.   

“Th-things were supposed to get better,” She cried. 

“I know... I’m so sorry, my love,” Wiliam was crying too, and he stroked her head of freshly cut hair. 

“Did she do that?” He whispered. Lena shook her head. 

“She just gr-grabbed my hair a-and just dragged m-me s-so I cut it off,” she explained, trying her best not to hiccup. William hugged her tighter. 

“I’m so sorry, Lena...” He said. 

“I’m sorry too,” she said. “You’ll probably b-be killed or fired or de-knighted o-or something.”

“I don’t care, as long as we’re together,” He kissed the top of her head. 

“As long as we’re together,” she repeated those words to herself. Despite everything, they were a little comforting. 

“It’ll be okay, Lena. I-i don’t know how or when, b-but it will be okay. Someday...” he swore to her, and for a moment, Lena believed him. 

Someday it will be just she and him... maybe a few kids running around in a sunny field collecting wild flowers... and they’d be happy. Safe. Her mother would be dead and gone and they’d all be happy and safe and together. 

But it wasn’t “someday”. Lena’s reality was a cold tower far away from the ground and her friends and familiar faces, and her studies and books, for who knows how long, and she was miserable,

but at least she had William, and that made things at least a little bit better.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

#animaniacs #my fics #queen angelina i #queen angelina ii #sir william the good #angst #feels #tw abuse #tw mental breakdown #tw mention of suicide #long post #fluff with an angsty ending #aldjfjejdjsk #this took forever #this better make y'all cry i swear- #jkjk

[imagine-loki]

Hiding In Plain Sight

TITLE: Hiding in Plain Sight CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 9

AUTHOR: wolfpawn ORIGINAL IMAGINE:Imagine coming from a line of nobility or royalty and being in an arranged marriage with Loki in an attempt to strengthen your kingdom / alliance with Asgard. You’re not entirely on board with the idea but figured that the best you could do was to get to know your fiancé. You form an agreement with Frigga for you to pose as Loki’s personal servant for a few months so you can get to know who Loki really is – beyond the veil of his responsibility to the Asgardian throne, behind all the masks he wears when facing the public, to really know who Loki is behind closed doors as you slowly fall for each other.How long will you keep up the ruse with the God of Lies? RATING: General Audience

NOTE - I finally got my ass in gear and finished something, thank Loki.

Raven paced worriedly. Her family were to arrive today, meaning she would be required to reveal herself to Loki, and all that entailed. She prepared herself for whatever was to come. Her most likely scenarios, she surmised, was being ignored and given the silent treatment or being met with anger and confrontation until he said his piece, then being given the silent treatment. Neither were something she was looking forward to but she fully expected one of those to occur.

She prepared her belongings again so to stop herself from fidgeting too much in stress. Sadly, it did nothing to assist her but she needed to do something as she felt she would go insane waiting otherwise. She toyed with her fingers a lot, pinching the skin in her hands, something she was prone to doing when stressed.

When she heard a loud roaring noise, she jumped, having gotten herself so highly strung that she had not expected the loud noise and had caused a dramatic reaction as a result. She rushed to her window to see what had occurred and gulped when she saw the banner of the Light Elf royal family making their way from the Bifrost site across the bridge and towards Asgard. With a deep breath, she readied for what was to come.

*

Loki ignored the pageantry he knew was heading to the city. He heard the Bifrost and, like Raven, went to his window to see who was coming, unlike her, his room had a balcony but he did not use it, especially when he did not want anyone to see him. He knew his mother and father would call for him soon so he made his room impervious to their seidr and locked himself in while they met the Ljósáfar royals. It was petulant and juvenile but he simply was not in the mood. He would need to build up the effort to deal with the whole situation.

He felt when his parents attempted to make their way through his defences, their momentary pushes on his seidr but over eleven hundred years of knowing their son, they knew that he was not going to be reached through such means. They did not even bother to try and open his doors physically, he had learnt to lock them manually by the time he was three hundred and not in the mood for others, so instead, Frigga placed a note under the door simply telling her son that he was to be to the main hall in half an hour in some capacity or another before he embarrassed himself and Asgard.

Scowling, he tossed the note aside. He knew this would not be when it mattered but the dinner declaring their imminent marriage. He wanted to conjure a clone to do it but he would have to kiss Raven’s hand at the very least and they would not be able to do such. Gritting his teeth, he prepared for what was to come.

* Raven tidied her clothes and looked over herself in the mirror. She looked as well as she could, considering she was inwardly panicking more than she thought was healthy. She had not slept properly for some time thinking of how Loki would react and the guilt that she felt as a result of deceiving him which conflicted terribly with the feelings of anger and resentment she had for him saying the things he had said about her, unknowingly to her face. She felt terrible for being deceitful, she genuinely did but it conflicted so greatly with her own feelings from how he spoke of her. She didn’t know how to deal with it, but when the knock came on her door to inform her that her family had arrived, she was forced to no longer fret about what was going to happen and instead, have to live through it. Inhaling deeply, she straightened her dress and began her way to the main hallway to meet them.

Seeing her family speaking with the Aesir royals, Raven smiled slightly as she walked forward. Her brothers noted her and nodded politely as they were always trained to do. It was not commonplace for Light Elf royals to openly show affection so she was not upset with a lack of reaction to her. When Frigga noticed her, she smiled encouragingly at her, though there was clearly a slight worry in her face too. It was only when Raven stood beside them did her parents notice her. She waited patiently until they finished speaking to the Aesir royals with a polite smile she had been trained to do since before she could even remember.

Thor, who had been speaking with her brothers, watched diligently, noting how the male offspring of the Light Elves spoke freely whilst Raven remained silent. He had known that she had been very vocal and strong-minded when she chastised Loki for his wrongdoings, so he wondered how she was both so timid and meek in appearance with her family, yet so able for his Silvertongued and formidable brother simultaneously.

“Raven.” Her mother acknowledged her first. “I hope you have settled alright.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

Thor could only frown. With no others bar the two families there, he could not fathom why she spoke so formally with her own parents but he could say nothing as it was not his place to do so.

“And your betrothed is currently under the weather, we hear?”

Raven had not been told of any such excuses and she had actually seen Loki the day before from her window, pacing on a lower floor clearly discussing something with his brother and he had not seemed unwell. “I am afraid so. But he will undoubtedly be joining us all soon again.” She looked to Thor who shrugged ever so slightly, telling her that he too had not been aware of such excuses.

“It was my doing,” He confessed. “I may have been less than careful with our sparring yesterday and struck him to the side of the head too hard, he is feeling dizzy and such as a result.”

“Good Heavens.” Raven’s father shuddered. “I could only imagine the damage such a strike would inflict from a lad such as yourself.”

With nods of agreement, a motion to one of the smaller rooms was made so that everyone could converse more intimately.

*

For three hours, Raven eyed the door carefully whenever the opportunity arose, wondering when Loki would finally join them and in turn, cause issues but there was no sign of him. Her parents and brothers seemed to not take any notice and spoke at length with the Aesir royals, all while Raven merely nodded politely and smiled, only injecting herself into the conversation when forced to by Thor or Frigga. Odin, she had come to notice from her time in Asgard, was a lot like her own father, more focused on his more direct heir than his other child/children. In many respects, it taught her a little more about Loki. He referenced his son but not as he did Thor and by Norns, did it show. She felt that was ironic. They had more in common that Loki could know about since he had not bothered to even attempt to find out.

All through the time they spoke, she wondered why Loki had not turned up. Part of her suspected that he had realised who she really was and wanted nothing to do with the whole charade, which she would not be able to argue in many ways, but then again, she did not know that he had, he also struck her as the type to very much make it clear he did not like being tricked in any manner. Over and over, she played out different reasons for him not being there in her head, but all that she was able to conclude was that he was nothing more than a petulant child, having a tantrum in his room rather than actually facing the situation. He was not the only one forced into the situation yet he had not the manner nor the courage to actually face it.

When her parents and brothers went to settle into their rooms and prepare for the feast that would come that evening, she walked with them to their rooms quietly. Her focus was entirely on finding Loki and having the argument that she knew needed to come. She hated conflict but there was no manner in which she could avoid this one and it needed to happen soon. All she could conclude is that Loki, a smart and naturally mischievous being himself had arrived at the correct conclusion as to who she really was and was not happy with being tricked. Saying nothing and bowing as her parents and brothers entered their rooms, she walked back to the royal wing with Thor by her side.

“So, what is the truth?” She asked him.

“I have to say, I do not know. I have not seen my idiot brother since yesterday. He was ranting that I am not yet betrothed and he has to be and how unjust such is. Of course, if he got his head out of his rear end for a few moments, he would see what is happening around him, but that would mean he had taken more than a moment to focus on something that is not him and that will not be occurring.” Thor sighed. “He usually has the sense to not embarrass himself in front of foreign dignitaries in such a manner, I have no idea why he decided to start today.” “I guess I better find out,” Raven stated, looking forward, readying herself for what was to come.

“Do you require assistance?” Thor offered. “No, thank you. You are at risk of a blade.”

Thor nodded slightly. Loki was prone to attempting to stab him when he got angry with him.

“He is no risk to me. His words cannot hurt me. After all, I have heard everything he had to say and at worst, he will spit similar again and then go silent.” “Most likely. I am close by if you want my assistance,” He offered.

“Thank you but I will be fine.”

Thor walked on to his own rooms when she confirmed that she felt she would be fine. Though he was slightly concerned, he knew behind the peculiarly quiet manner in which she interacted with her family, Raven had the ability to take care of herself verbally.

* Raven readied herself to confront Loki. She changed out of the clothes she had met her parents in to something more comfortable but even more beautiful. She took a moment to look over the dress. She had taught herself how to make it while she waited for her parents’ arrival and for the wedding in her days of boredom. Bored and wanting to learn new skills, she had a maid get her some material and she sewed. Some of the seams were not entirely perfect but she thought it was beautiful and making it herself made her feel all the more proud of it. With a ribbon in her hair that matched it perfectly, she twirled once more and walked out of the room, inhaling deeply as she readied for what was to come.

She walked to Loki’s door with purpose, looking at it apprehensively for a moment before inhaling deeply again and knocked, making a mental note to herself to not keep inhaling so deeply, as she would make herself light-headed if she continued to do so. When Loki’s maid that she temporarily replaced opened the door, she cocked her head slightly, not recognising the elf on the other side. “Hello, can I assist you?” “I must speak with His Highness.” Raven smiled kindly.

“Regarding?” “His betrothed.”

The maid’s eyes widened. “Of course.” She seemed to be readying to open the door for a moment before she paused. “I am not sure if Prince Loki will accept such a request. He…”

“Is scowling in his room, refusing to open the door and growling incoherently on occasion?” Raven wagered.

“I...How could you…?” The maid was bewildered at how she could ever know that. “Know that? I just do.” Raven remembered when of the days that Loki arrived back to his rooms when she was disguised as his maid and did such after Thor and his friends had caused him to be dragged into a situation he had not been involved in and for some reason, he seemed to have been forced to have to shoulder more of the blame than they had when they had been the ones that did the deed and he had not. He stormed into his rooms and would not come out for a few days. “I still must speak with him. I know he is in no want of company but I still must speak with him urgently.” The maid moved to the side and opened the door fully with a facial expression that read as ‘good luck’.

“Thank you.” Raven walked over to the bedroom door and prepared herself for what was to come before knocking on the door the same way she had when she had been pretending to be his maid.

She had not known if Loki would actually acknowledge her knocking. She half expected that he would ignore her.

“I do not think…” His maid began.

Her words silenced when the door glowed green before opening. “Tatianna, be so kind as to retrieve my books from the library master, please.” Loki requested politely.

“Of course, Your Highness.” She curtseyed slightly with a large smile and rushed out of the room.

Raven’s brow rose at the kind manner in which Loki spoke to Tatianna and her relaxed demeanour in return.

With the door closed, there was a moment of silence between the pair. Loki looked over Raven’s dress and being in an analytical manner while Raven looked at Loki waiting for him to begin his tirade at her fooling him.

“I always suspected there was something off with you.” Loki declared.

“You are a warrior, you would be terrible or dead if you did not have a sense of when something is off.” “I hate liars.” “And I hate those that are two-faced.”

“Same difference in this case,” Loki growled eyeing her suspiciously. “I think it farcical for a maid to call me two-faced when I am sure you broke multiple records with the speed you rushed to your mistress with my words.”

Raven paused for a moment replaying his words in her head, realising after a moment that he had not actually realised what was happening. “I actually never ran to anyone at all or even said anything to anyone about your words outside of Prince Thor.”

Loki froze to the spot. “Thor?” “Your brother, future King of Asgard, Thor.”

“Why Thor?” He demanded.

“What concern is it of yours?”

Loki walked over, towering over her. “Did she honestly decide to speak to my brother about me? Have her little spy go to him with all the dirty details?” Raven was used to Loki’s moods so he did not concern her too greatly, but had she not been so used to him, she could easily have been intimidated. “It’s Raven, not ‘she’.”

“I’m sure she cares so greatly about that.” “I do, that is why I am correcting you, yet again. I have told you time and again to use my name and stop calling me ‘she’ or ‘her’, yet you still insist on not saying it.”

Loki’s brow furrowed at her words before the realisation came to him. His mother’s insistence in speaking with her when she saw her looking upset in the garden, Thor’s peculiar reaction on seeing her. “You’re not her maid.”

“I told you I was not.”

His eyes widened at the confirmation. “You’re actually her.”

#Loki #others #submission #submitted fic #wolfpawn #Hiding in Plain Sight #Chapter 9

[comingoutofthecauldron]

on malyen oretsev as a character and a love interest

this might be slightly rambly and incoherent but i need to say it. malyen oretsev has been the underdog in this fandom for as long as i can remember. a little while ago it was the “malaria” jokes (very classy, folks), and then waves upon waves of mal antis and darkling stans/apologists, and even now a decent majority of the fandom is convinced he’s just boring or an asshole. and fair enough on that last account, if you genuinely don’t like him as a character, that’s fine. but there are a lot of accusations people throw mal’s way that i am really sick and tired of hearing, and hopefully this will help put a stop to them.

mal is not boring. mal is witty and charismatic and an easy friend, and he is also incredibly brave. when he thought alina was being tortured and brutalised by the darkling, he volunteered for a suicide mission to track the stag—which he didn’t even know existed—into fjerda because it was the only way he thought he could help her. that mission killed two of his best friends. people say mal is an asshole because of the way he treated alina when he saw her (months after she’d been dragged away from him against her will) happy and healthy in amongst the people who had looked down on the both of them their whole lives, after having just lost his best friends for her. i say his being upset was pretty understandable. and yes, he was a bit of asshole in siege & storm, but he’s a teenage boy and you cannot hold him to all these ridiculously high moral and behavioural standards (especially when you don’t hold other characters like nikolai or the darkling to those standards). everyone has their asshole moments. nikolai’s is ongoing. holding mal’s against him just because he’s not all-powerful like the darkling or royal like nikolai is bullshit, plain and simple.

as for malina, i have a lot to say on that front. a lot of people say that mal was only interested in alina after she got her powers, but that is blatantly untrue. the quote, “just you and me. it’s always just you and me, alina” literally happens in the first chapter of shadow & bone. mal himself said that he always loved alina, and her being taken away was the wakeup call he needed. if anything, alina’s powers only complicated their relationship—mal didn’t know how to deal with her becoming the very thing they’d both grown to resent after being treated like shit in the first army while the grisha were treated like royalty, which explains a lot of the tension in their relationship surrounding alina’s abilities.

people tend to say that mal didn’t like it when alina became powerful and less dependent on him, but that’s not right. mal never wanted alina to be less. he was afraid of what would happen to her if she became more. from his point of view, all that alina’s powers brought them was trouble; the darkling’s grooming of alina and his subsequent manhunt for them, nikolai’s proposal to alina (when he was an adult and alina was a minor), the apparat’s cult and imprisonment of them, the death of the only mother figure they’d ever known. in his mind, alina’s powers only ever brought them misery, and mal was scared of losing her to that misery. we saw how they were torn apart throughout the books, because mal was otkazat’sya, and he was not the only one who felt that that might never be good enough for alina. neither of them ever wanted the power that alina was given. that’s why it was so hard for mal to accept that alina wanted to keep it—he was scared it would corrupt her the way it had the darkling. he was scared of losing her.

the argument that really frustrates me is when people call malina abusive. say it with me, folks: malina is not an abusive ship. mal and alina loved each other unconditionally. even if he wasn’t happy about alina’s powers, he knew that it was important to alina that she use them to save ravka, and so he helped her. he owed ravka nothing. this was the country whose monarchy had essentially taken his life from him to force him into being little more than a foot soldier in their army; the country his friends had died for thanks to the darkling being placed in such a position of power; the country whose king let the people starve whilst he sat in his golden palace and wasted more money. mal helped alina save ravka not because he loved his country, but because he loved her. hell, he literally died for her.

whilst we’re on the subject, let’s talk about that quote that people like to say is abusive: “i love you, alina, even the part of you that loved him.” do you understand how monumental that quote is? mal found out that the darkling is the same darkling who made the shadow fold, the shadow fold that had taken numerous lives and that had gotten them into this mess in the first place. he was beginning to realise the extent of the manipulation alina had undergone at the hands of the darkling, the grooming and abuse. they both knew the atrocities that the darkling had committed, and yet mal has it in himself to tell alina that not only does he not care that alina ever thought she loved the darkling, he loves her all the same anyway? how is that abusive?

lastly, i want to talk about his most infamous quote: “i am become a blade.” this is one of my favourite quotes in the entire grishaverse, and i’m going to explain why. a lot of people think that it’s grammatically incorrect, but as your local grammar nerd, i’m here to tell you that it’s not! as alina notices, the actual tattoo is written in ancient ravkan: e’ya sta rezku. because of that, the quote translates with slightly strange phrasing, but that phrasing still makes grammatical sense. it’s sort of like how shakespearean english is still english, it just sounds different.

now, grammar aside, i want to talk about why the quote is so beautiful (to me, anyway). mal has been used all his life. when they were at keramzin, he tracked and hunted animals for them to eat. in the first army, he was used as a foot soldier and a tracker, and the darkling (and nikolai, to an extent) used him to track the amplifiers. he’d always had his agency taken away from him by those with more power, and he’d been used and mistreated almost every time. then he turns around and offers himself and his agency up to alina without a second thought. because he loves and trusts her that much. at this point, it doesn’t seem to him as though there’s any chance of him and alina ever being together or getting a happy ending. he’s not doing it for that. he’s doing it because alina wants to save ravka, and he loves alina, so he wants to help her do that. in all of his indecision about his life and what he is and who he is for alina, he is able to decide that to live in service of her, to live for her, is exactly what he needs to do. he is essentially saying, “i recognise your power and though i am afraid for you, i won’t hold it against you now. instead i’ll help you wield it and fulfil your destiny, even if that isn’t what i want/what i want for you and even if it gets me killed.”

mal is a teenage boy who had to mature very quickly under terrible circumstances. of course he’s not perfect and he makes mistakes, but i cannot for the life of me understand why he is hated on such a large scale. he was an asshole to alina at some points, yes, but alina was usually an asshole right back, and it was only because they were both pining and angry at their situation. if you still don’t like him, fine, but for the love of god, stop calling him abusive/toxic. he’s a good character and a healthy love interest (a rare sight in ya) and malina is a healthy romance. it’s that simple.

#stan mal or die by my sword #important #ya criticism #sorta #mal #mal oretsev #malyen oretsev #malyen oretsev defence squad #this is so rambly and incoherent i'm sorry #tgt #the grisha trilogy #shadow and bone #siege and storm #ruin and rising #alina #alina starkov #malina #anti darkling #anti nikolai #anti darklina #anti alarkling #grishaverse #leigh bardugo #long post

[longingandheartacheandlust]

Roach is a Hereditary Title

Okay, so, I was thinking about Roach, as I do frequently.

Do any of y’all remember that scene in Lord of the Rings where Aragorn’s almost unconscious and his horse, Brego, lies down next to him to help him mount?  Given that Geralt spends a lot of time getting himself severely injured while alone, it makes a lot of sense for Roach to be trained to do something along those lines, also.  (That sorta thing is absolutely done IRL.  I knew a lady, for instance, who was 5 feet tall but rode a draft horse who was more than 6 feet tall at the shoulder.  She trained her horse to lower his head so she could hop on his neck and the horse would then lift his head back up so she’d slide down his neck to his back.)

And then I was thinking about what other training a Witcher’s horse would require.

(I have another huge point as well about Roach and Geralt and world-building that is what I’m actually working towards in this very long post.  The hint is in the big text up there.  Also, there are some fun gifs below you might wanna check out even if you don’t read the post.)

The most obvious is a ground tie, which we actually see used in the show.  That’s where a horse is trained to act as though they’re tied to something when they’re not - for instance, you might take a lead rope, let it dangle it down to the ground, and train the horse that they should act as though the lead rope is tied to the ground.  Cowboys use it to keep their horses still while they’re dealing with obstacles, working with cattle on foot, etcetera, when they’re out in the middle of a prairie with nothing to tie onto.  This would keep Roach put if Geralt needs to do something and there’s nothing to tie to, but also is great to keep her out of danger - she can be trained that if she’s actually being attacked she should GTFO.

Here she is, in fact, doing just that: she had been ground tied, but when the kikimora got closer, she calmly backed up out of range.  That calm backing, btw, is 100% a trained behavior.  If she were getting out of there of her own accord she’d be spinning around and going both forwards and much faster.

(From this post by @highevre​.)

Horses can be trained to track - their sense of smell is almost as good as a dog’s, and Mounted Search and Rescue using horses as trackers is a thing.  Not necessarily needed given Geralt’s own enhanced senses, but it might come in handy sometimes.

She’d probably want to be trained in extreme terrain, and you’d be amazed what horses can do with that.  Here’s a clip of part of the standard training for US Cavalry from around 1930:

(From here.)

A good trail horse can shift their own weight to keep an inexperienced, exhausted, or, in this case, injured rider in the saddle, so she’d definitely want to know that.

It’s unlikely, but she might even be trained in active combat.  Horses have in the past been trained not only to carry their riders into battle, but even to fight themselves.  Here’s a gif of one tactic:

That’s a pretty good way to get a drowner off your tail!  (It can absolutely be done with a rider on, I just didn’t find any nice gifs for that.)

This one could come in pretty handy too:

Even if she’s not kicking forward with those front hooves - which is, actually, an established move, it’s called “mezair” - if I were a monster I’d be a lot less eager to attack with a twelve foot tall wall of muscle coming at me.

(Look up videos of “haute ecole” or “airs above the ground” and you’ll see a whole lot of breathtaking stuff that Roach could do.)

There are some random fun tricks that might be useful, like picking things up and handing them to her rider.

The absolute number one thing, though, is that she would have to be completely, 100% bombproof, and that’s where I get to my main point.

(Please note for the rest of this post, in case you’re unaware, the name “Roach” refers to several horses, as horses aren’t generally immortal.  Geralt names all his horses Roach.)

I used to breed horses, and specifically the emerging breed Drum Horses.  They were originally bred to (and are still used to) carry kettle drums in parades.  Now, for that you need to be big, since the drums and gear can weigh more than 450lb.  But, most importantly, you need to be completely, entirely unshakeable, to a degree that shouldn’t frankly be possible in a prey animal.  You’ve got not only the insanity of a parade going on but also a huge loud noise right next to your head, the constant vibration from the drums, AND since the rider’s hands are busy playing the drums the horse is steered using only the feet.

So how the heck do you get a prey animal that’s specialized for millenia in Running the Fuck Away to do that?  Well, centuries of selective breeding.  Drums are derived from the Irish Cob, which was (and is) used by nomadic people in Europe to pull caravans.  They have to be steady, able to deal with kids running around their feet while they work, since the caravans were mobile homes they're very noisy, and, long story short, Irish Cobs spent centuries being bred to be bombproof.  The Drum Horses, then, were derived from that breed but with an even stronger focus on being 100% reliable and not-prey-like.

They’re also trained literally from birth; parade horses, police horses, and the like generally are.  Within minutes of birth, you start handling them, rubbing them all over so they’re never startled by a touch.  You put radios in their stalls playing rock music so they get used to sudden loud noises.  You tie brightly colored streamers in their pastures to wave in the wind, pop open umbrellas, toss beach balls at them.  Spray perfume and waft popcorn smell.  Rub them all over with any equipment you might use, including tack but also things like weapons (mounted target shooting is a sport still done today).  Have the equipment make whatever noise it’s gonna make.  (Clanging, firing, whatever.)

The POINT being, that for Roach to be able to handle dealing with a new terrifying monster every week, she’d pretty much have to be specifically bred for it.

Well... where do you get horses bred to handle monsters, you ask?  They might have had a small breeding operation at Kaer Morhen, but that doesn’t exactly help now.

My conclusion: Geralt must be breeding his own horses.

Roach is always a mare, after all.  Maybe that’s not just sentimentality.  Every so often, he finds a good, steady stallion - the very best on the Continent, of course, nothing else would do for his perfect girl.  She’d be able to keep working most of the 11 months of pregnancy, and then for the last few he’d let her rest, either leaving her with someone he trusts until she’s due or staying with her and only doing day trips on foot.

And when the foal’s born, he starts doing all that training above from birth.

Half of those foals are going to be boys, of course.  And he only uses mares as Roach.  So what about the colts?  Well, he sells them, once they’re old enough to leave their mother.  And those horses, damn, they’re bred and trained so incredibly carefully, they must be the most valuable, sought-after cavalry mounts on the Continent.  Kings and Queens bid for Roach’s sons to be their noble steeds.  Geralt wouldn’t need to take jobs for years after selling one of Roach’s foals, if he didn’t want to.

Sometimes bad things happen, so he’d need to have a spare Roach or two always around just in case his girl retires earlier than planned.  (She got a mild injury that keeps her from doing all that stuff above, she didn’t die, I promise!)  So there are always a few Roaches around the country on a sort of lease, not allowed to be taken into combat but still being the amazing, perfect horses they are until their Witcher comes back to get them.

Final Conclusion:

All of the most famous horses on the Continent are Roach’s descendants.   Royalty riding a horse that wasn’t from her is barely even worth being called royalty at all.  And Geralt has raised his girl, and her mother, and her mother’s mother, and her mother’s mother’s mother, and on back, from birth, the first face they ever see and the first hand in their manes.

(Source: me!  That’s one of my babies.)

#geralt is a horse girl #roach witcher #roach the horse #roach horse #mine

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - The Return of the King

So we’re back to the quasi-filler stuff. This episode does set a few things up for the finale, like bringing Edmund to Corona, but none of those things are actually good and it’s still mostly filled with irrelevant shit alongside the more important stuff. 

Summary: King Edmund arrives in Corona to see his long-lost son, Eugene, and to give him the royal sash of their bloodline. Eugene wants nothing to do with him, but Rapunzel invites him to stay. Later, the sash is stolen and a ransom note is left behind. Edmund and Eugene decide to go and retrieve it. Meanwhile, the Stabbington Brothers plot revenge on Eugene as they are both viewed as a joke by the other criminals.

So How Did the Stabbingtons Escape the Prison Barge 

Last we saw them they were stuck on a prison barge along with Lady Caine and all of the other season one villains. How did they escape? Did Lady Caine or anybody else make it out? If so then where are they this season? 

We’re not going to get any of those questions answered are we? 

Man this is just sloppy continuity. Which ironic, because these two were only brought back this season because of continuity. They need to be “redeemed” so that they can be at the wedding. I guess it just sucks to be you if you’re an original villain for this show and not named Cassandra. 

Why Is This Deserving of Ridicule? 

Like...We’re talking about a world renowned thief and adventurer and his magical royal girlfriend who are well known enough outside of Corona to be mentioned and there for no doubt people know how they both defeated monsters, daemons, and several criminals besides just there two guys, right? 

This plot point makes no sense. 

You could just kick these dumbasses butts and be done with it. I doubt they’d bother picking on you again if you did.  

Did we really need even more motivation for them to want revenged against Eugene?

Rapunzel is Back to Being Her Bossy Self 

Rapunzel has not earned the role of “wise administrator” yet. She’s only been out of the tower for two years now and she has yet to prove to the audience that she has managed to learn anything since then. By jumping the gun and forcing her into a role that she hasn’t grown into, and by ignoring that this whole show started out as a coming of age story, it just makes Rapunzel unpleasant to be around. All her “advice” is just her ordering people about with a veneer of chipperness to try and mask her controlling nature. People who should know more about their own lives than she does and have no reason to listen to her.  

So We’re Showing Rapunzel Being Responsible... By Having Her Avoid Responsibility? 

Part of why the writers made her “acting queen” for the first half the season was to get her to grow into the role of becoming full time queen. However they screwed this up by not having her actually learn anything and having her avoid the real duties a queen preforms. 

What Rapunzel is doing her is just being a socialite busybody. The only administrative thing she does is approve some low-scale building plans for a small business. A thing that would have been handled by a lower official in an actual functioning government.   

Once again Rapunzel is being selfish and doing what she like, ie bossy people around while having them kiss her ass, as the real work of running the kingdom is left to someone else. This isn’t being responsible, it’s being hypocritical, but don't expect anyone to ever call Rapunzel out for this. 

Pointless Action Scene is Pointless

At this point, the low stakes action sequences are just cringe. Like is this an adventure show or not people? Stop forcing crap like this and give us some real conflicts instead.  

How Did You Get Here So Fast Edmund?

It took Rapunzel and company nearly a year to get to the Dark Kingdom. Even if Edmund wasn't delayed with pit stops like they were, it would have still taken him several months to get here by horse. 

Did he take a boat, or have four to six months already past since Rapunzel’s Return? 

I would argue that this episode was aired out of order and should have been later in the season, but Cassandra’s appearance at the end of this story, and Hamnuel’s appearances in later episodes, would suggest otherwise. 

Crap like this is why season’s three timeline doesn’t work unless you stretch everything out to two years instead of one. 

Read the Room Rapunzel

One could argue that Rapunzel is just trying to be polite, but that doesn't really hold water. 

For starters Eugene is clearly upset and has every right to want to set boundaries between himself and Edmund. Ignoring that is incredibly rude and if my significant other ever did such a thing, well they wouldn’t be my significant other for very long. 

Secondly, Rapunzel could have offered other accommodations if she felt pressured to be polite to Edmund. Not only are their lots of inns in a port town known for trade, many of which are probably well-to-do, but there’s also that convent that was mentioned back in season one. It has to be somewhere in Corona itself and as the so far only mentioned major religious organization in the country it would no doubt have stately quarters for when royalty and nobility would visit. 

So not only would it be a suitable place for a visiting king to stay in, as it would be made for such things, but it’s also far enough away that Eugene wouldn’t feel like his space is being invaded but close enough that Edmund could come and go as he pleases. 

By that point it’s still between Edmund and Eugene and Rapunzel can stay out of it, like she should. 

Eugene is Right

These are all valid reasons for cutting someone out of your life. Furthermore, you don’t even need a reason. If you don’t want to associate with somebody then just don't associate with. It’s your life. You don’t have to justify how you choose to live it and people who actually care about you should respect that. 

Unfortunately no one respects Eugene.  

Not Edmund, not Rapunzel, and most certainly not the writers. 

Then Why Don't You Get Closer to Edmund, Rapunzel?

I understand Rapunzel’s viewpoint here. Edmund is the only person she’s ever met who has experienced the same isolation that she has. He’s one of the very few people whom she can empathize with. 

However that doesn’t give her the right to force her views upon her boyfriend. If she cared so much than she could just befriend Edmund herself and leave Eugene out of it. 

Trying to encourage a child to have relationship with a parent who neglected them is super tone deaf at best and outright disrespectful at worst. It’s also highly hypocritical seeing as Rapunzel cut Gothel out of her life for similar reasons and Eugene only ever supported her for it. 

No really, flip the situation. If Eugene tried to encourage Rapunzel to give Gothel a second chance everyone would be slamming him for it. So why does Rapunzel get a free pass? 

Shorty Already Did That, Eugene. Don’t You Remember? 

I mean, you were literally right there when it happened. Are we forgetting season two the same as season one now? 

So Why Are Stan and Pete Suddenly Back, But Not Cap?

I mean we went through all that trouble in Rapunzel’s Return to write them out of the narrative and here they are without any explanation. Why are simple set ups so dang hard for this show? 

Rapunzel is Overstepping Her Bounds Here

Ok, giving Edmund a place to stay is one thing. Suggesting to Eugene that he should give Edmund a chance is not appropriate but still forgivable. But this? 

This crosses a fucking line! 

Eugene is not Rapunzel’s subject. He’s her boyfriend, and a prince in his own right. Rapunzel can’t just volunteer him for crap without his consent. That’s just indirectly ordering him about like she would a servant.  

Once again, flip the script. If Eugene tried to force Rapunzel to work with Gothel everyone would be up in arms. Why is this then deemed okay? 

This is Coercion

Not only is Edmund and Rapunzel trying to guilt trip Eugene here but she even fucking elbows him!

Like this isn’t “cute couple bickering” here. That kind of stuff is reserved only for inconsequential shit. 

This a woman trying to strong arm and guilt trip her husband to be into having a relationship with his abusive father! Because guess what? Neglect is still abuse! 

Rapunzel has zero say in Eugene and Edmund’s relationship. It’s none of her fucking business! Trying to force her into this plot just makes her look like an asshat. 

I mean look at this smug smile! The fucking bitch is proud of being a shit human being and a terrible girlfriend. 

And of course don't expect the show to call out this behavior as wrong because of out of date sexist double standards. If you think any of this is okay then just role reverse Eugene and Rapunzel here and then tell me its still alright. 

The Show Missed a Real Trick By Not Naming Him Horus Instead

Horus, the sun god, would have been a nice bit of irony and given meaning to the name while keeping the joke virtually unchanged. You could have had both lore and a punchline. 

And I would argue that the joke as is, isn’t even funny. Horace is indeed a lame name, but not for the reason that the show gives. It’s lame because it’s not unique enough. There’s already a Disney character named Horace and I’m sure there are real people out there with that name as well since it’s not completely unheard of. So the joke falls flat and winds up insulting anyone with that name. 

Don’t Expect Any Pay Off for Eugene’s Identity Issues This Season

Yeah the show makes a big deal out of Eugene having a mid-life crisis through out season three, but then never resolves it in any meaningful way. 

Edmund Is an Asshole 

I don’t care how “crazy” he is. Calling someone by a name they don't wished to be called is just plain rude. Acknowledging someone’s preferred name is just a basic common courtesy that is expected of everyone. Once again, this isn’t funny, quirky, nor charming, just unpleasant. 

So the Animators Wasted a Model on a No-Named Character Who Only Appears Once

Someone said this little girl appears in season one, but it’s not noticeable if she does. She also doesn’t have a name and this is her only speaking role. What a waste of money. Just have one of the braided girls from the movie instead. You already built models for them and haven’t really used them. 

And before some mentions race here, this is poor rep already cause the character has no impact. 

Turns Out, Varian Didn’t Even Need Those Truth Serum Cookies

Not only does this dumb down Pete to a ridiculous degree, but it also invalidates everything Varian went through in The Alchemist Returns and the grief he got from everyone for using the truth serum. 

Oh, and it’s also lazy writing and a plot contrivance.  

That’s Not Figgy Pudding!

This is Figgy Pudding.

It’s a boiled “pudding” that’s more like a cake with dried fruit in it. During the 14th through 18th centuries such bread puddings were made to be carried around in ones pocket or knapsack for eating on the go. They’re nothing like the creamy custards we call puddings today. 

It also looks nothing like what’s shown on the screen below. 

That’s like a half eaten loaf of wheat bread?  

That’s jelly filled .. apparently...?

Once Again, If You Have to Make Everyone Else Incompetent to Make Your Hero Useful to the Plot Then You Need a New Plot

Rapunzel has zero business in this plot. She doesn’t even need to be in this episode beyond a cameo. Trying to cram her into the protagonist role in a conflict that doesn’t involve her is just a disservice to everyone.  

Winnie The Pooh Is More Mature Than This Show

More of that meta commentary I was talking about last episode, and it just as full of shit as ever. 

Seriously Find Her, Keep Her is the best script I have ever seen in any show. It’s perfectly balanced so that anyone of any age can relate to it. It’s real and heartbreaking and perfectly suitable for small children to understand. There’s no shock value, no darkness, no modern satire, but its far more mature and complex and deep than anything TTS has tried. 

Also Rabbit is a far better father than any dad in this show, while still being cut from the same trope. There’s no shame in being a children’s show when its done well and this now 30 year old kids show runs rings around what ever mess Tangled is trying to sell. 

Eugene Isn’t Exaggerating Here and I Don't Know How to Feel About That

Turns out Eugene did grow up with these guys the same as he did with Lance. It’ll be confirmed only two episodes later. That just recontextualizes everything. He didn’t just betray some rando guys that he held no feelings for, he betrayed people that he’s known and worked with since childhood. 

Now just because he’s known them doesn’t mean that they were family to him like Lance, but like the fact that he keeps claiming then as such through out the episode would suggest that perhaps they were like siblings. 

That’s ... ingenious. That makes Flynn Rider retroactively an even worse person and gives the Stabbingtons real reason for vengeance. 

Only the show doesn't do anything with this!  It just makes Eugene an even bigger jerk in the movie for zero reason. 

Let Me Reiterate, Edmund Is an Asshole 

Just like with Frederic, Cassandra, and Rapunzel the show uses framing to try and make the audience side with people who do unforgivable things. 

Edmund is an abuser. He neglected his own son for 25 years. But the show presents him as “funny” and “quriky” and “look at his pouty face, he’s so lonely”.... 

No!

Edmund isn’t deserving of anything and how he treats Eugene here is garbage. 

This show is utter crap writing wise but boy does it know how to gaslight its own audience into siding with bullies and abusers.  

Eugene Is One Thousand Percent In the Right Here, But Don’t Expect the Narrative to Acknowledge That

There’s nothing you can do to make up for that. 

Eugene might forgive him. Eugene might move on from it. Eugene might decide a relationship it still worth having with Edmund. But the horrible thing still happened and it happened because Edmund allowed it to happen. There’s no going back from that and everything going forward has to be on Eugene’s terms alone. 

But the narrative won't allow Eugene that agency. 

Even as he makes his grand proclamation about being done with Edmund the cameras chooses to focus on Edmund and his feelings. The story is already priming the audience to prioritize Edmund over Eugene so that when the forced and contrived forgiveness scene comes we won't question it. But it only comes because Chris doesn’t deem Eugene as individual person with thoughts and feels of his own, but as an avatar to fulfill his wishfulment fantasy regarding his own personal daddy issues. 

Rapunzel’s Characterization in Season Three is Just....Off

Ok, even ignoring the major stuff, like not recognizing what she’s done wrong, putting her into roles she’s not meant to carry, and making her a shitty girlfriend suddenly, Rapunzel just behaves contrary to her character all through out season three even in small subtle ways like here. 

On the surface this seems like a clever call back to Great Expotations, but lets examine more closely, shall we. 

On one end we have yo-yos; an invention that’s been around since ancient Greece and is so wide spread across the globe that the word “yo-yo” itself is theorized to come from Indonesia and the Philippines.

On the other end there is Rapunzel. A woman who spent 18 years isolated inside of a tower, because of this she is both ignorant of somethings and insatiability curious and eager to learn.  Or at least she was, until striking out onto a year long road trip, and having now been out of the tower for only two years, claims to know better than the entire fucking world about this object who’s existence she didn’t even know about until only a year and half ago! 

Like what kind of sense does this make? Why would you abandon the core of her drive and motivation, to learn, explore, and grow, and then call it “development”? 

How Did Edmund Get Beat By These Guys?

Edmund took out Adria. The Brotherhood is suppose to be the best physical fighters in this world and Edmund is supposed to be best out of all of them. Yet he’s taken out by two random, mediocre dudes who didn't even jump him. They gave him time to respond and he stood up to fight them. 

Was all his physical prowess tied into that axe? Is the axe magic? 

If you characters have to be depowered for unexplained reasons for the plot to work than you haven’t a good plot. 

This Isn’t as Heartwarming as You Think It Is Show

If Edmund knew where Eugene was this whole time then he could have actually provided for his son. He could have arranged adoption with someone by letter, sent money, food, clothes, ect, maybe even wrote to Eugene directly and kept up a long distance relationship to be there for him emotionally. 

There is literally no excuse anymore for Edmund to hide behind. He literally neglected his duties as a parent, just cause. 

Finding these things shouldn’t make Eugene happy. Finding these things should piss him off even further because that’s how any logical adult would respond to this bullcrap. 

I sure know I’m angry. I’m angry that Eugene is a pawn for the creators’ writing wank-off rather then being treated as human being; as an actual character. 

“Nice” Isn’t the Same Thing as Kind, Rapunzel

One could argue that she’s not even superficially nice in season three, but the real problem here is that the show, and by extension Rapunzel herself, doesn’t understand the difference between being “pleasant” and actually being a good person. Outwardly polite people can stab you in the back, can kill you even, and not care, as Rapunzel has demonstrated repeatedly since season one.   

Do They Have to Be “Family” for Eugene to Give a Damn? 

Can’t Eugene just do the right thing, because it’s the right thing to do? People don't need to be friends and family to care about each others lives. Kindness isn’t transactional. Empathy and true charity doesn’t come with strings attached. If Eugene’s whole arc is about becoming a better person, then making the Stabbingtons “family” kind of undermines this. 

Don’t Reward the Dude for Doing the Bare Fucking Minimal 

No seriously. Edmund forfeited the right to ever be called “dad” by Eugene a long fucking time ago. He doesn’t get to be called that now just because he stopped being a piece of scum and showed the bare minimal of human decency. Even if Eugene decides to have a relationship with Edmund after this, it doesn’t mean that  he has to be recognized as his dad or that that relationship will be a parental one.  

Eugene, and by Extension the Show, Places Rapunzel Upon a Pedestal to  the Detriment of All

Only 4 villains out of 20 get redeemed in this show. Four, and yes I’m counting the Stabbintions as one entity here. That’s 16 times Rapunzel failed to give someone a second chance just cause she didn’t feel like it that day, and even here she did fuck all in trying to give the Stabbingtons any sort of chance. That was all on Eugene. 

The more this show goes on, the more it looks like Eugene is just in love with the idea of Rapunzel rather than who she actually is as a person. It’s a disservice to both their characters but it damages Rapunzel most of all because the show perpetuates this over idealization to everyone she interacts with. 

It’s really sickening to watch and terrifying to know that some uphold this selfish brat as a “role model” for little girls. There’s nothing empowering in being an inhuman “goddess” who can do no wrong....even as they do several wrongs and never gets called out on it.    

This Isn’t “Cute”

Eugene can’t even have an opinion on a fucking toy!

Look if you still like New Dream despite how horribly written it is this season, then good for you. That is completely understandable, especially since this is mainly a problem with season three and not really in the first two seasons and certainly not in the movie. 

But if you try to deny that they aren’t toxic in season three, that people who do have problems with how they’re written aren’t valid in their concerns, than you’re either someone who hasn’t been paying attention or someone who has gross double standards for women in relationships. 

This Scene Is A Waste of Time

This doesn’t tell the audience anything. It contradicts what was previously established concerning her powers without explanation and then just throws the creepy girl voice in there for a lazy hook. It doesn’t work at foreshadowing since we repeat this info all over again in the next episode and it doesn’t expand upon neither Zhan Tiri’s nor Cassandra’s characters.

 In fact it kind of contradicts Cassandra’s characterization in the last episode as well. Is she a remorseless bad bitch or a vulnerable woobie? She can’t be both. Not in the way show is going about it anyways. 

It’s poor time management and poor storytelling. 

Conclusion

It was mildly better than Rapunzel’s Return, but that’s not saying much. Everyone’s character is still circling the drain and there’s no escape line in sight. 

But before I close out, here is a real world update. I had to quit my job at Amazon for personal reasons and am currently job hunting. I’m not hurting right now, I do have money saved up to cover me for at least a month and I’ve been doing commissions here and there, however despite having more time technically to write these reviews, I’m now having to juggle it along with artwork and job hunting. 

If you would like to support my reviews and other personal projects you can send me a tip over at Ko-Fi and more public commissions will be opening soon over there as well.  

https://ko-fi.com/rachelbethhines

#eugene #anti-rapunzel #anti-tangled #tangled #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure