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#heartbreak high drabble
probably-writing-x · 26 days
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Better For You
Spencer White x Reader
Summary: You knew Spencer outside of his ‘Spider’ persona. You knew the boy he was outside of the school crowd. But when the two worlds collide, will you see him for who he actually is?
Word Count: 4.3k
Warnings: Alcohol, mentions of spiking, cursing
———
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“Spencer White?” You glance up from the diary in front of you, “Starting today?”
The tall boy in front of you clears his throat, scratching the back of his neck, “Yeah, yeah, that’s me. You can call me Spider.”
You scrunch your nose at his request, “Yeah I’m not gonna do that.”
He scoffs, “Alright, and what do I call you?”
“(Y/n),” You respond, “It’s just us two today so I can show you the ropes.”
“Can’t be that hard right? Sell people tickets, serve popcorn, pour a few drinks?”
You stare at him with a black expression, evidently unimpressed.
He looks down at his feet and then back up to you, “Okay, where do I start?”
Spencer was about the same age as you, you assumed. Your boss had said he came across as ‘confident and enthusiastic’ in his interview but both of those things seemed a little uncertain now.
You’d been working at the movie theater for nearly a year now, your uncle knew the manager so you’d been a shoo in from the moment you were old enough to work. It was long hours, late days, annoying customers, but it earned you money and that was all it needed to do.
“Let’s start with popcorn.”
———
That was two months ago now. You now spent nearly every shift with Spencer. He made the long nights feel like they ended earlier. He snuck you free food, dealt with the annoying customers for you, sped around the screens quicker than you so you didn’t have to do as much cleaning. He took extra hours so he could work when you worked.
You’d learnt in that two months that he was working here after an argument with his mum where she told him he’d never worked a day in his life. He’d taken this job to prove her wrong. That was on one of your late night shifts after a midnight screening. It was just the two of you and he was evidently down, evidently in need of someone to talk to. He’d opened up to you. You’d told him that you were sorry, though you weren’t exactly sure what for. He’d laughed and told you that if his Mum saw him like this she’d tell him this wasn’t work.
He drove you home that night, same as every night. And he thanked you before you got out of the car. He didn’t tell you what for, just said ‘thank you”. He needed it more than you did.
Now, he had your number and you had his. And you texted when you weren’t at work together. He sent you songs he thought you’d like, mainly from rock bands he’d heard at a concert that weekend. You sent him films he should watch and he forced himself to watch them, giving you a running commentary with text updates every few minutes.
You spoke to him more than you spoke to your other friends. You told him things before you told them nowadays too. But you two never saw each other outside of work. Separate schools, separate lives.
“Here,” You hand him over a stack of medium cups to add to the supplies at the counter.
Spencer takes them from you, loading them up onto the pyramid of cups you’d been making. It was a quiet day.
“You know if these fall you’re picking them up,” You comment, handing him another two cups.
Spencer adds them too and steps back with his hands raised as if he’s going to catch it, “Yeah, yeah, I figured.”
You grin, both of you admiring your handiwork.
“So,” He steps back to lean against the machine behind him, “I had a question.”
“A question,” You repeat, “Mysterious.”
“I know we’re not working on Saturday. My mates are having a party at the weekend, it’s stupid really, like this graveyard thing,” He shakes his head, “I was just… would you… would you want to come?”
You frown a little, as if taken aback but not wanting to admit it, “Are you…”
“You don’t have to, it’s a stupid idea really, I don’t know why we-“
“Yeah, I’ll come,” You nod, “I’m not here, so I’ve got nothing else to do.”
He smiles, “Alright, well then it’s a date.”
“Is it?” You cock a brow, folding your arms over your chest.
“I-“ His cheeks turn a dark shade of pink, “Shut up.”
Spencer rolls his eyes and steps forward, collapsing down the pyramid of cups into stacks in front of him.
———
Spencer texts you the location and you walk there as the sun’s going down - a little later than he’d suggested so you didn’t look awkward and eager.
It’s eerie when you think of it - a clearing in a graveyard converted into a party location. There’s already a crowd building, a mismatched stack of alcohol at one side and a littering of people you didn’t recognise mingling around.
Why had you agreed to come? You didn’t know a single soul here beyond Spencer. And surely he had other friends he’d want to see? The thoughts of turning around and pretending to have never arrived start coursing through your head. Your feet come to a stop, as if you’re preparing to disappear back into the surroundings.
“There you are!”
And there he is.
Through the crowd, you spot the familiar sight of that blonde floppy hair. The way his face curls up into that signature smile. He’s holding a red solo cup in each of his hands, extending them wide as if hugging you through the air.
“Was starting to think you weren’t coming.”
“Yeah, I’m still not sure about the whole… graveyard thing.”
Spencer laughs, “Yeah you just need to drink enough so you don’t think about it.”
He hands one of the cups to you and you take a sip.
“Careful, they’re probably spiked,” A girl walks past the two of you, eying Spencer with evident disgust.
She’s got dark short hair and a brightly coloured jacket with a black dress and she looks at you as if shes worried about you.
“Fuck off Amerie,” Spencer snaps, rolling his eyes at her.
You glance up at him and back to her and she offers you a small smile like she’s trying to warn you of something. She walks off over to another group of people and Spencer turns back to you.
“What was tha-“
“Come on, I want to introduce you to some people,” He places a hand gently on the middle of your back as if guiding you through the crowd.
There’s a group of boys over the other side, shouting loudly at each other and making vulgar gestures to go alongside whatever conversation they were having.
“Oi dickheads,” Spencer calls over, “Be normal for a minute, ay?”
The boys stop and turn around, both of them looking at you and then back to their friend.
“This is (Y/n),” He looks down at you and then back to them.
“(Y/n)!” One of the boys grins widely, “We’ve heard a lot about you. You moved in by Spider right?”
“Wh-“
“This is Ant, and that’s Dusty,” Spencer gestures between the two of them before you can say anything else.
“Nice to meet you,” You smile softly, “You know Spencer from school?”
“Yeah, basically since we could walk,” Dusty smiles at you, “We can tell you all the gory details.”
“Alright, alright, I’m right here,” Spencer shakes his head, standing close enough to you that his side is against yours, his arm still placed on your back.
He’s got that way about him. The feeling that you could just melt into his connection. You couldn’t explain it, but in a crowd of people you didn’t know, you were glad he was still beside you.
———
“So how does the dunny situation work here?”
Spencer turns to you and laughs, the two of you now at the edge of the party as people had started dancing in the middle. It was dark now, and you were stood just inches closer to Spencer to make the most of his radiating warmth.
“You find a spot where nobody can see you, and you put in some squat training,” He smiles, the kind of smile that creases his eyes.
“Oh how glamorous,” You wiggle your brows, placing your cup into his hand, “I’ll be right back.”
His fingertips linger on yours as your hand pulls away from his, his eyes lingering on you for even longer as you walk away.
You trail out away from the crowd and down a small path away from any prying eyes until you bump into the sound of giggling girls just ahead of you.
“Oh shit, sorry, I was just looking for somewhere to piss,” You clear your throat.
“Hey, wait, wait, wait,” One of the girls looks over to you, “You’re the girl that Spider was with right?”
It was the girl from earlier. The one Spencer had told to fuck off.
“Yeah, I’m (Y/n),” You offer a smile.
The girl’s friend stands up and zips up her trousers, both of them walking closer to you.
“I don’t want to sound like a cunt, but just be careful with him,” The girl, Amerie says.
“Am,” The other girl hits her arm, “You’re going to scare the poor girl.”
You look at her and fold your arms around you as if shrinking away from them, evidently uncomfortable.
“He’s just…” The other girl begins, “Very outspoken. He’s not exactly the nicest guy at Hartley.”
“He’s a grade A cunt,” Amerie adds, “And you seem like way too good for him.”
“Alright, we’re gonna go before Amerie says anything worse,” The other girl confirms, “Have a good night yeah?”
They both walk past you and you stand stuck in your spot, repeating over everything they had said. Spencer had been the nicest boy ever since you’d known him. He was thoughtful and funny and he was who you looked forward to seeing every shift. But everyone here seemed to be talking about a different boy when it came to him. To the girls, he was like the worst guy they’d known. And why had he lied to the boys about how he knew you?
“(Y/n)?”
You turn in your spot to see him stood behind you, far enough away that you can only make out his silhouette in the dark.
“You’d been a while, I was just making sure you were okay,” He speaks so softly you feel your heart skip a little.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m good,” You clear your throat, walking towards him.
“Do you want to get out of here?” Spencer offers, “I reckon the coppers will be here soon.”
“Yeah,” You smile at him lightly, “I’ll probably book an Uber-“
He holds his cup out towards you, “I’m not drinking. I’ll drive you home.”
Spencer tugs his jacket off from his shoulder and places it around yours his hand slipping down beside your arm until his hand is hovering beside yours. You interlock your hand with his and he smiles once more, like he’s relieved at the contact.
———
The drive back isn’t far, and the empty roads make it even quicker. Spencer still indicates every time he needs to, drives the limit rather than anything over, glances at you every so often to make sure you were okay in the passenger seat.
He pulls up in front of your house and shuts off the engine.
“So, will you be rushing back to a graveyard party any time soon?” He leans his head back against the headrest and turns it towards you.
“I think I’ll stick to the beach or a house party for now,” You nod, running your hands over the cold skin of your thighs.
Spencer laughs, “Yeah I-“
“Can I ask you something?” You interject, the thought practically spilling from your mind.
He frowns, nodding slightly.
“Why did the boys think I was your neighbour? Did you not tell them we worked together?”
Spencer swallows the lump in his throat, “I didn’t tell them about the job.”
You furrow your brows, “Is working at a movie theater really that bad?”
He lets out a deep breath, “It’s not that.”
There’s a stillness in the air between you. That sort of tension that he always managed to dissipate. He’s calm and yet the air seems to be full of all the nerves he could muster in your presence.
“I don’t really talk to them about anything with my Mum, or home, or anything. And I guess I figured if they knew about the job they’d start asking questions and it’s just… not something I tell people.”
“You told me.”
Spencer chuckles a little, “You’re easier to talk to.”
You smile at him and the tension in his shoulders seems to relax a little, “I guess I can pretend to be your neighbour next time.”
“Next time?” He raises his brows, “So you did like the graveyard.”
You laugh, your gaze averting to the darkness looming over your house, not a single light on.
“So, my parents are away,” You say quietly, like you’re now the one holding all of the nervous energy, “Do you want to… I mean you could…”
“Yeah.”
You laugh, unsure at what point in your time knowing him had it become so easy for Spencer to make you nervous.
———
He sits at the end of the bed whilst you get ready in the bathroom. You take off your makeup, wash your face, tie back your hair and change into your pyjamas. They were one of the cuter sets you owned - different to the normal baggy t-shirt you’d wear. But if there was ever a time to wear a nicer set, it was whilst Spencer would be the one you were sharing a bed with.
When you walk back in, he looks up from the book he had in his hands - one he’d taken from your nightstand.
“Didn’t think that would be your kind of thing,” You nod towards it, walking over to your side of the bed.
“Too many big words,” He smiles, setting it back down and shuffling backwards on the bed.
He was wearing only his t-shirt and boxers now - his other clothes folded in a pile on the chair in front of your vanity.
“Okay we’ve got a problem here,” You comment, looking down at him.
“What’s that?” He asks, swinging his legs around so that he’s sat at the side of the bed facing you, his knees bumping against your legs.
“This is my side of the bed,” You mention.
“Oh is it?” Spencer cocks a brow at you and you hum in response.
His hands reach out and gently brush the skin of your thigh, trailing upwards towards your waist as if drawing you towards him. You let him guide you, shifting until you are straddling his lap. Neither of you speak, Spencer’s hand moving around to hold your back, one remaining on your waist. Your breath catches in your throat, eyes focused on his like you’re seeking that comfort.
“Can I kiss you?” Spencer whispers, the words seeming to tumble from his lips.
You nod, swallowing the lump in your throat, “Yes.”
The corners of his mouth upturn just slightly, his eyes flicking between your eyes and your lips. And then, he closes the gap just enough. His lips press against yours, soft and cautious but somehow so certain of themselves. His hand moves to cup your jaw, drawing more of you to him as his fingertips tangle into your hair. When he pulls away, his lips curl into a smile, forehead pressing against yours.
“You have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to do that,” He whispers, as if not wanting anything else to ruin the moment.
You laugh, leaning into him, “This is still my side.”
Spencer chuckles, holding one arm tightly around his waist to shuffle you both back across the mattress. He shifts to lay you down on one side of the bed before settling down on the side beside you, his arm outstretched to pull you into his chest. You can feel his heart beating against your ear and you’re relieved for a second he is sharing in the same adrenaline that you are.
His fingertips trail up and down your arm, the most delicate touch he could muster.
“I’m sorry I lied to the boys about you,” He speaks the words quietly into the air of the room.
You tilt your head upwards just enough that you can see his face, “We already spoke about this, you don’t have to-“
“Yeah but I didn’t apologise properly and I should do,” He nods, “It shouldn’t be your problem to have to lie to them too.”
“Would it really be so bad if they knew you had a job?”
Spencer shakes his head, tucking his other arm beneath his head on the pillow, “No, it wouldn’t. I just don’t like the thought of them knowing everything that goes on at home. It’s easier to go into school and act like none of that exists.”
You lean up onto your elbows and turn to face him, reaching up a hand to run through the hair falling at the side of his forehead, “Would it not be easier if you could talk to them about it?”
He wraps an arm around your waist, his eyes flitting between each of yours, “I don’t think I’d even know what to say.”
Spencer leans up just enough to kiss you again, gentle and fleeting.
He pulls you back down to his chest and tugs the blanket up over both of you. The pair of you stay there, like that in each other’s arms, until his breath starts to even out and he falls asleep - though, even then, his arms don’t loosen from around you.
———
Spider is back at school on Monday morning. He’d spent all of Sunday with you - waking up at your house, driving you both to work, and then taking you to dinner afterwards. It was the first time he’d ever woken up and instantly wanted to text someone, sending you a quick ‘good morning’ along with his complaints for not wanting to go to school today. He felt like a child with his first crush. Though, when he thought about it, maybe this was the first proper crush he’d had. No other girl had made him feel like this. And he’d savour it for as long as he could.
“Oi dickhead, are you listening?” Dusty interrupts his thoughts, the two of them walking towards the locker room to get changed.
“No,” Spider shrugs, “Do I need to be?”
“You missed a killer end to the party man,” Dusty points out, pushing the door open to where the rest of the boys already were, “I can’t believe you left early.”
“Oh come on I think Spider had other things on his mind,” Ant points out as soon as he overhears the conversation.
“Yeah who the fuck was that chick?”
“Does it matter? Either way Spider was going to fu-“
“Cut it out,” Spider snaps, to nobody in particular, just hoping for anything that would stop the topic of conversation.
“Aww is Spider precious about his latest conquest?” Ant frowns, “You’ll be onto the next one by this weekend.”
“Have you ever just thought of shutting up Ant?” Spider questions, reaching down to tie the laces of his trainers, “I mean, seriously, is it so hard to think (Y/n) might just be a good person? Someone I actually like hanging out with?”
“I don’t think that’s what they’re doubting,” It’s Malakai that speaks this time.
Spider looks at him, uncertain.
“If she’s a decent person, the last guy she should be around is you.”
For a moment, he feels the silence around him. The same tightness in his chest that he got at every dinner with his Mum. The same voice in his head telling him it was impossible for him to be good.
“Well,” He clears his throat, standing up from the bench, “Good thing I don’t need to listen to you cunts.”
When he walks out onto the field, the girls are already crowded around in conversations with each other. Spider walks over, crossing towards the opposite side of the field.
“Oi Spider!”
It’s Amerie that yells after him. He turns around to see her and Harper making their way over.
“You know we told that girl from the party to stay away from you,” Amerie states strongly, offering him her most judgemental look.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You might be able to put on an act for her but she deserves to know how shitty you are.”
“Are you kidding?” Spider scoffs, “You don’t even know her, why’s it your place to say anything?”
“We don’t know her,” Amerie shrugs, “But we know you. And no girl deserves that.”
He glances around at the rest of the people on the field, across to where the boys have just started filtering outside too. Not a single person here thought well of him. Even the boys, his friends, they saw him as the boy that said what they wouldn’t say. He was funny to them before he was good. He was someone to laugh at before he’d ever be someone to talk to. He’d become a show piece at this school. The controversial one that said what nobody else would.
“Ever thought that I might want to be a decent guy? That if I actually liked someone it’s genuine?” Spider shrugs, swallowing the lump in his throat.
“Oh fuck off Spider, are you even capable of that?”
“Maybe.”
———
You’d been on Spider’s mind for the whole day. And, as soon as the final bell rang, all he could think of was getting to you.
It’s not a far drive, just the other side of town. But he speeds as if it’s some sort of last ditch attempt to get to you. He hadn’t thought to text, or ask where you were, or ask if you were free. He just knew he needed to get to you. And when he pulls up in front of your house, he realises this is as far as his thoughts had taken him, he wasn’t sure what that meant now.
He knocks on the door, harshly as if he’s channeling his nerves into the sound.
It’s not you on the other side. Instead, an older woman, bearing some resemblance to you in the brightness of her eyes.
“Hi, can I help you?” Her brows furrow but she smiles at him welcomingly, warmly.
“Um-“ He clears his throat, scratching the back of his neck, “I just-“
“Are you (Y/n)’s friend?”
Before he can respond, you come up behind the woman and grasp her shoulders, “I’ve got this one Mum.”
You glance to Spencer and smile, instantly relaxing the tension in his shoulders.
“It was nice to meet you,” Your Mum nods to him, turning to you and giving you some sort of knowing smile as if exchanging silent words.
You step out of the front door and pull it almost-closed behind you;
“What are you doing here Spencer?”
“You didn’t tell me what the girls said to you at the party.”
“I-“ You wrap your arms over your chest as a breeze courses past both of you, “I didn’t think it mattered.”
“Didn’t matter?” He half laughs, his shoulders dropping, “They practically told you to get as far away from me as you could.”
“Yeah. And that doesn’t mean I believed them.”
Spencer smiles at you just a little, but it falters quickly.
“Why do they hate you so much Spencer?”
He pauses, taking a deep breath as he looks at you like even the sight of you is enough to calm down all of the worry coursing through him.
“My whole life it’s just been me and my Mum. I didn’t have siblings, my Dad was never in the picture. And so I had this one person left that was meant to love me. You know? That was her job, right? She’s my Mum, she just needs to love me and we’d figure the rest out. My Mum treats me every day like I’m the worst guy on the planet. I’m a guy and she thinks that’s enough for me to be someone she should hate. To her, I’m destructive and thoughtless and I have all this potential do a world of wrong. She reminds me of that every day, with everything I do. She’s reminded me of it so much that I started to believe it. That’s the guy I am to them at school. That’s the guy they know. And I’d hate me too if I was them.”
You feel a lump forming in your throat, wanting to reach out for him and tell him everything he needed to hear. To heal all those years of hurt that sat on those young shoulders.
“I don’t want to be that guy when I’m with you.”
You feel it then. The way your heart skips a beat once more.
“I want to be better.”
Your face breaks into a small smile, an instinctive response.
“I believe you,” You practically whisper the words, “Everyone else might have a lot to say about you but I know the person that you are with me.”
You step forward towards him.
“And I don’t think that guys so bad.”
You watch as he visibly relaxes, grasping out for you as soon as you are within reach, his hands snaking around to your waist. Your hands move up to his chest, linking around the back of his neck.
“You deserve a chance to be better Spider,” You smile, reaching up onto the tips of your toes to press a kiss to his lips.
He hums against the contact, pulling away to say, “I prefer Spencer.”
You chuckle and he wraps his arms tighter around you, burying his head into the crook of your neck. He breathes in the scent of you in his arms, feeling his heart slow in your hold. He’s sure he could stay there forever. And you’re sure that you would let him.
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andthatisnotfake · 3 months
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Darren and Ca$h sitting on a tree...
"Race you up that tree!” Darren said, pointing at a tall tree a few meters away, in the corner of the park they were in. They said it casually, as if it was just a comment on the weather, dashing off before Ca$h could react. 
“Hey!” He ran after them, laughing, but as quick as he was, they were already climbing. 
“You cheated!” he said, once he finally reached Darren, sitting on a high branch. He was panting a little but smiling broadly. 
“Just admit I won.”
“Alright, you won.”
Darren leaned closer. 
“Better give me a prize then.”
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hotdamnitsmoony · 2 months
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rip marlene mckinnon, you would’ve loved heartbreak high
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mypoisonedvine · 10 months
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𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐂𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 | dad's best friend!cillian murphy x reader
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | based on the following request: what would dilf/dad's best friend cillian do if he found your dildo?
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 5k (this was literally supposed to be a drabble...)
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | smut (18+ only), significant age gap (reader is college-aged, cillian is in his late forties), voyeurism/exhibitionism, semi-public sex, use of toys, praise kink, unprotected sex, very brief/semi sarcastic 'sir' kink, shockingly fluffy??
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Not that your parents' anniversary cocktail party wasn't horribly riveting (cue dramatic eyeroll) but you were upstairs, on your bed, on your phone; you'd had enough of 'so how's college going?' and 'what's your major again?' and 'got any boyfriends yet? you must be a heartbreaker' for one evening— or a lifetime, preferably.
It wasn’t even that comfortable to be on the bed in your party dress—a cute, short sparkly one that you’d picked out for tonight—but it was better than standing around and trying to balance in those sky-high heels; those you had kicked off into the corner of the room the second you were alone.
When you heard a small rap on the door, you hummed a quick "Come in!" and didn't even look up from your phone, figuring it was your mom or dad come to find you after you disappeared.
Instead, you heard Mr. Murphy's voice as he leaned in the doorframe; "Sorry to bug you," he said, startling you slightly as you closed Instagram and set your phone down. "Just needed a Tide pen— your mom said you might have one in here?"
"O-oh, yeah," you said, sitting up, "sure— what happened?"
"Salsa fiasco," he joked softly as he shut the door behind him, showing you the dark red stain on his shirt— though the shirt itself was red, so it wasn't too egregious, but still noticeable.
"That's too bad," you chuckled, "I warned them about that salsa— if you serve salsa, there's gonna be a fiasco, that's what I said."
He clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "They should listen to you more," he agreed.
"I've got a couple stain remover pens in that top drawer," you suggested as you pointed to your dresser.
"Great," he smiled, starting to unbutton the shirt; you got nervous for a second until you realized he had on a black undershirt beneath. It's hard to say why you were nervous about that, since you'd seen him shirtless plenty of times in the years you'd known him...
"Nobody's worried about me going missing, right?" you wondered as he continued working on the buttons, and he shook his head while shrugging slightly.
"Not yet," he replied, "but they're going to want to find you soon, you're sort of the star of the night."
You rolled your eyes, frowning. "It's my parents' anniversary party, I think they should be the focus."
"Maybe they should, but you're the much more interesting one," he informed you.
You pulled your legs up a bit, leaning to the side as you sat on your bed; as much as all this attention from your parents' friends was usually annoying to you, something about being interesting to Mr. Murphy didn't bother you so much. "Is it weird for you?" you asked, lowering your voice a bit; he tilted his head quickly as if to ask what you meant. "Going to an anniversary party after, you know—"
The words hung in the air, seeming to gather around his conspicuously naked ring finger: after the divorce. "Oh, no," he scoffed, taking off his cufflinks. "It's fine; but I'm sick of the questions about it."
You winced. "Sorry, I didn't mean to—"
"Don't worry," he laughed finally shirking off the shirt; he looked a little too good in just the short-sleeved undershirt. "You can make it even by letting me ask you how college is going."
"Oh god," you groaned, rolling your eyes, and he laughed.
"If I didn't know from your parents that you were acing it, I'd worry that your aversion to talking about it meant you were struggling somehow."
"It's not that," you assured, "it's the people."
"The people?" he pressed. "Or the guys?"
You laughed nervously, looking down at your lap. "Geez, you learn to mindread while I was gone or something?"
He stepped around your bed to get to the dresser, laying his shirt down over it. "No, I just remember that time— somehow. And I remember how much of a headache I and every other young guy was."
"I guess not much has changed then," you smiled.
"What, I'm still a headache?" he grinned as he looked over his shoulder at you.
"No, I meant—"
"I know what you meant, I'm just teasing," he chuckled. "Top drawer you said?"
"Yeah," you nodded, and he opened the top drawer of the dresser; of course, only right then did you remember that you should have specifically said top left. Because the top right was—
Oh shit.
You swallowed thickly as Cillian stared down into the open drawer, and your heart pounded as you somehow hoped and prayed that what was in there had turned invisible or something; but if the look on his face was anything to go by, it was just as visible as ever.
“I—fuck, sorry, I forgot that’s—” you choked out, face burning impossibly hot.  “I never meant for you to see—I’m—could you shut the fucking drawer, please, you pervert?!”
“I’m the pervert?” he laughed thinly, looking at you again finally.  “You’re the one with a massive fucking dildo in here.”
“Well—you weren’t supposed to see that—”
“Yeah, but—fuck,” he choked, “I was just looking for your stain remover and I see your— you have a— are you sure that isn’t technically considered a weapon or something?  How’s a guy supposed to compete with that?”
“That’s the great thing about it: he doesn’t have to compete,” you explained, “that’s sort of the whole idea.”
He looked back at it for a second and you yelped, reaching your leg off the bed to kick him in the hip.  “Would you please shut the drawer?!”
“Sorry, sorry,” he laughed a bit, “but I mean, how am I supposed to react to that?
“Well, you’re not supposed to just stare at it!” you insisted.
He shut the drawer, giving you a look you couldn’t possibly decipher.
“What were you thinking?!” you said, somewhat rhetorically.
“I—well,” he hummed, looking away from you for a second, “I was thinking that I can’t imagine how you can possibly fit something like that.”
You blinked quickly, not sure what to say in response to that.  “Well—I mean, it’s a little big, but… it gets the job done.  Keeps me from calling the guys I shouldn’t be calling.”
He nodded.  “Well, that’s good… none of those college boys could possibly deserve you…”
His eyes were running all over you, and even though you’d picked out this dress just for this party because you loved how you looked in it, you felt a little exposed by his stare.
“I just can’t believe a girl like you—”
“Come on, I’ve never been a saint,” you scoffed, glancing away.
“No, I just mean… the size of that thing…” he trailed off.
“You really can’t get over that part,” you noticed, “is this some kind of… intimidation, Freudian situation?”
You glanced quickly at his pants, and he started to deny it instantly.  “No—come on, it’s not—I just can’t believe you take all that.  For fun.  It looks like it would break you.”
You hadn’t even had any drinks at this anniversary party, and yet you found yourself with this foggy head like you were tipsy; you blurted something out as if you were tipsy.  “What, you want me to prove it?”
His chest sunk a bit, and you were about to take it back when he spoke before you.  “I’d like to see you try.”
Biting your lip, you sat up on the bed, reaching around him and into the drawer.  He didn’t step back or out of the way, just let you grab the toy and lean back on the bed in front of him.
You reached up under your dress, sliding your panties out of the way, finding yourself suddenly plenty wet to fit this toy.
His eyes never left you, though they certainly travelled all over your body as you pressed the toy up to your entrance; it was thick, he wasn’t wrong, and you had to slowly warm yourself up to it whenever you used it on yourself. 
After pushing with enough pressure, the tip finally slipped inside and you let out a small sigh.  He watched carefully, and your lips fell open into a moan as you pushed the toy deeper into yourself.  When the stretch became a bit too sharp, you winced and slowed down, trying to take your time even with your heart racing and hands shaking.
You heard his own breathing picking up, watching you take the toy deeper; you found your gaze wandering over him, even lingering on his groin to see if you could catch a bulge growing there, but nothing was obvious yet.  You stared for a moment at his hands, too, suddenly wishing to have them all over you—well, maybe not that suddenly, you’d sort of thought about this before.  It wasn’t until somewhat recently that you noticed how sexy he was.  Maybe when you were younger, you understood that he was better looking than all the other adults you knew, but only once you left for college did you start thinking about him out of nowhere, imagining what he was really like when he wasn’t just being friendly with you—you even asked your mom once on a phone call if he was dating anyone.  Thankfully, she didn’t seem to get suspicious when you asked that; but she’d be more than fucking suspicious if she walked in now, saw you doing this to yourself under his watchful eye.
Oddly enough, the knowledge that someone could walk in and see this just made you even more desperate, and you gasped as you pushed the toy in deeper.
It still wasn’t all the way in, and you already felt so full… truth be told, he had a point about it maybe being too big for you—when you usually used it on yourself, you only put it in a little over halfway, since that was all you really needed.  You hadn’t put the whole thing inside since you first got it—and yes, you’d ordered it online, because if you’d seen it in person you probably would’ve been as intimidated by its girth as he was.
Your decision not to wear a bra with this dress became very apparent when his gaze settled on your chest; your nipples were hard, and clearly visible under the fabric now.  It was just because it was strapless that you went without, but you were thankful for it when you saw him quickly lick his lips at the sight.  You dared to moan just a little louder as you pulled the toy in and out, picking up your pace carefully.
“How’s it feel?” he asked lowly, his eyes drifting back to where the toy slid into you. 
“Good,” you mumbled, “really fucking good.”
“Can you really take it all?” he pressed, making your walls clench on the silicone.
Instead of answering aloud, you simply pushed it all the way in until your eyes rolled back—it was so deep, pressing heavy and fat against your deepest points until it felt like you might burst.
“Fuck,” he praised—it was just a swear, but the way he whispered it made it sound like a praise.
You sped up slightly, trying to do this the way you normally would without someone staring at you.  But you were even more sensitive with him watching, your walls clenching more and more around the toy until it was almost hard to keep thrusting it in and out.  Sighing, you shut your eyes and laid back on the bed to try to help yourself relax.  The change in angle just seemed to make the toy go deeper, rubbing harder against the spot inside you that made your back arch.
“You’re so wet,” he breathed; you whimpered, nodding in agreement, and kept moving the dildo as deep as you could get it with every thrust. 
Your free arm went back over your head to hold onto the comforter under you, your hand gripping tight for some relief for the pressure inside you.  “Fuck yes,” you whispered, knitting your brows together and fucking yourself faster.  “Feels so fucking good…”
He hummed a little, but you kept your eyes shut, afraid you’d lose your nerve if you looked at him again.  It had been months since you used anything but this, and you had no regrets—the toy performed way better than any of the guys you’d met at college.  But, truthfully, you didn’t like having to do this to yourself.  It felt like you could never move it fast or hard enough, and you needed to constantly have perfect control over the toy to get yourself to come—and when you come, the last thing you want is to take control, you want to lay back and lose control.  Still, it was better than the college fuckboys who smelled like beer and didn’t last more than two minutes.
Thinking about them wasn’t going to help you now, though; it was much better to think about Cillian, about those icy blue eyes running all over your body, about how his hands would hold you down while he claimed you, about how his lips would feel on your neck before he whispered in your ear that you were his…
You let out a sharp and sudden moan as the toy hit harder on that spot; your legs started to shake.  “Good girl,” he mumbled, making you moan even louder because god, those words just sounded right in his accent, with that rough voice—and they sounded right being said to you.
“Fuck,” you choked, “Mr. Murphy, I—”
He laughed a little.  “So polite,” he cooed.  “Open your eyes and look at me.”
Though it made your heart beat even faster, you did as you were told.  His stare was all-encompassing, making you feel completely trapped in a way you enjoyed more than you could’ve imagined. 
“Call me Cillian,” he insisted.
You weren’t sure if he meant to literally call him that right in that moment, but it sort of came out anyway: “Cillian,” you moaned, and the grip he’d taken on the dresser behind him tightened.
“Can you come for me?” he asked lowly.  “Right now?  Can you come on that fake cock?”
You bit your lip and nodded, moving the toy faster and faster— more desperate to come than ever.  “I—fuck, yeah, I’m close…”
“Good,” he praised again.  “Let me see you come, honey.”
Your back arched harder, deeper—your hands were shaking but you kept going, holding on tight to the dildo and forcing it back and forth as your legs began to quiver.
Moans poured from your mouth faster than you could try to quiet them—everyone was downstairs, you just had to hope the music and conversation was enough to drown out your desperate, pleading noises.  “Fuckin’ beautiful,” he mumbled, right as you hit the peak and melted into the mattress, a wave of ecstasy pouring over you.
You felt hot everywhere, but especially between your legs—you could swear you felt yourself leaking out around the toy, soaking it, giving away how needy you’d become and not even having the mental energy to feel any shame for it.
Cillian certainly didn’t look like he was trying to shame you for it; when you opened your eyes again, he had a stunned expression—in the best way.  “You normally come that fast for a toy?”
You laughed a little, but you still couldn’t quite catch your breath.  “No,” you admitted, “it normally takes… a bit longer than that…”
“What was different about tonight?” he mused, and you scoffed and rolled your eyes again.
“Shut up,” you sighed.  “Now I have to figure out how to take this thing out—I’m always sore after…”
“If you can handle putting it in, taking it out shouldn’t be much trouble,” he noticed.
Which, yes, that would make sense, but after coming you always got all tight and sensitive and it could be a little intense.
“How about I help you?” he offered, and your chest tightened.  He waited for you to nod before carefully wrapping his hand around your own, watching your face as he gently guided you to pull the toy out.
Your lips were slack and your eyes were probably glassy and dazed as he looked at you like that, completely enveloping you in his stare as he studied every detail of your expression.  Aside from some heavy breathing you didn’t react much to him sliding the toy out of you, until the ridge of the head reached your entrance and you winced.
“Shh,” he soothed gently, “it’s okay…”
A long sigh of relief emptied your chest when the toy tapered off and you felt the last of it slip out of you; you really noticed then how soaked you were, as a draft in the room seemed to cling to the patch of wetness that had coated all between your legs somehow.
“Lemme see, baby,” he cooed under his breath as he set the toy aside, kneeling down and resting a hand on the inside of your thigh to keep your legs open.
You could barely catch your breath with him doing that; you’d never had someone… look at it like that.  You felt incredibly vulnerable but impossibly sexy as you heard him sigh at the sight.  “Is it all stretched out now?” you wondered.
“No,” he said, “you look… just as tight as before.  Fuck.  That’s incredible.”
You bit your lip, sitting up enough to try to get a look at his face past the puffiness of your dress’ skirt, and he smirked up at you with the loveliest sparkle in his eye.  “Really?” you breathed, and he nodded.
Even though your hands were still shaking you suddenly felt brave; maybe it was just the afterglow, but you grabbed him by the shirt and sat up to kiss him, colliding your lips with his.  He reciprocated instantly, putting his hands on your upper back that the strapless dress left bare.
The kiss was perfect—needy but not too fast, sweet but not too chaste, teasing but not too slow.  The guys in college couldn’t even kiss like this… you were wondering why you ever even tried with them—or, you would’ve been if that kiss left you capable of thinking about anything but him.  “Need you,” you whispered as you pulled him closer, wrapping your arms around his strong shoulders.
“Fuck,” he mumbled against your lips, a hand holding your waist while he started to kiss your neck and jaw.  “Not here—your parents—”
“Don’t care,” you whimpered, “I’m so—fuck, Cillian, please—”
“You already came,” he noticed with a small laugh, “didn’t that take the edge off?”
“Not enough,” you whined, getting impatient and running a hand down over his shirt and down to his pants—and you smiled proudly as you felt the hardening bulge beneath.  He choked a little when you touched him there, holding you tighter.  “You want me too,” you noticed.
“Of course I do, but—” he breathed, then stopped himself as he tossed you back on the bed; you giggled as he crawled up over you, pinning you down.  “But we can’t… your parents would have my head on a platter—once they’re done serving crawfish etouffee off of it downstairs.”
“Well, I wasn’t planning on telling my parents,” you smirked.  “Were you?”
“No,” he agreed, kissing your neck again as you hummed happily.  “But if they found out—”
“So?  They wouldn’t like if they found out about what just happened, either—and they won’t.”
“But this is different,” he insisted.
“How?”
“Because this…”
He trailed off, kissing down your neck and over your shoulder, until a hand reached up to pull your dress down and expose your chest.
“Shit,” he sighed at the sight of it, and you smiled up at him.
“You were saying?” you teased.
“Right, erm,” he swallowed, “this is different because—because if we do this, you’re gonna be my girl.  Not just a misguided one-time fuck because you were turned on after screwing yourself with your dildo while I watched.”
You felt a little out of breath but nodded up at him.  “Okay,” you agreed.
“Okay?” he repeated, looking a little shocked.  “I tell you that you have to be mine and you just say okay?”
“What was I supposed to say, yes sir?” you joked.
“I just mean—shit, if I knew it would be this easy, I would’ve said something sooner,” he chuckled.  “But I’m, er, not complaining about the yes sir thing either…”
He sat up and started to unbutton his pants, making you wiggle a bit on the bed impatiently.  Even though you’d just gotten filled by your big toy, you felt needier than ever for something inside you—something real. 
Your throat caught when he took it out— it was pale and veiny just like the rest of him; long, uncut, a bead of precum starting to leak from the slit… it was beautiful, honestly.  The artificial fleshy hue of the silicone could never compete.
“Big enough for you?” he asked with a smirk, but you had to swallow before you answered because your mouth was watering.
“Yeah,” you panted, “plenty.”
He kissed you again, laying more of his weight on top of you; your legs wrapped around his hips, keeping him close as he pressed you down into your bed.
One hand found your wrist and held it back above your head, while the other kept a tight wrap around his cock so he could guide it to your waiting entrance.  When he pushed inside, you both sighed with relief like you’d been longing for this for ages—perhaps because both of you had, in your own ways.  “Fuck,” you breathed, “Cillian…”
He whispered your name back to you, heavy and desperate and right by your ear, and you absolutely knew you were his, just like he said.  He only stilled for a moment when he was all the way inside, already starting to rock back and forth—but he was sort of tender about it, watching you move under him as he fucked you.  “So pretty,” he praised quietly, kissing you again, even harder than before.  You both moaned into the kiss, and a warm, rough hand settled on your thigh under your dress.
Soon, the pleasure was too much to even focus on kissing, and your mouth just fell wide open in front of his as needy moans passed through it.  He stayed close, though, watching your face go slack with ecstasy.  The previous orgasm had left you sticky and sensitive inside, still totally dripping for him, everything in you begging for more.  “Oh my god,” you sighed, eyes rolling back, your composure completely slipping already.  He made you feel so good so easily—and fuck, the way he was looking at you, it was just too much to bear.
“Mm,” he hummed proudly, latching his lips onto your neck again until your fingers tangled in his hair.  He moved down and caught a nipple in his mouth, making you whimper as he suckled at it gently. 
“Fuck,” you whined, nearly pulling him along by the hair when he moved to the other one; you couldn’t stop clenching inside, squeezing him until he groaned against your skin. 
“Won’t last if you keep doing that,” he warned you softly. 
“What if I don’t want you to?” you teased, and he growled a little between his teeth, sitting up to look down at you.  He fucked you harder, but put a hand on top of your head and pet your hair for a moment, looking at you like you hung the moon; how could he be so dirty then so adorable within the same split-second?!
“I’ll do whatever you want me to,” he decided, speaking softly, “how about that?  What do you want me to do?”
That was a little too much power to give you, at least in your opinion, but you grinned as you considered it.  “Then I want you to come way too quick,” you decided, “like all those annoying college boys—because you just can’t help yourself.”
He laughed a little, though he stopped to bite his lip as he fucked you even harder—and faster, too.  “Okay,” he breathed, “don’t know why you want that, but—fuck— it won’t be very difficult after that little show you gave me.  You look so pretty when you come…”
“Just keep going and you can see it again,” you promised, holding onto him tighter as he pressed into you and really let you have it—not really rough or anything, you couldn’t risk making any more noise than you were, but still aggressive and passionate and desperate.
He kissed your neck again, burying his face in your shoulder and finding the spot that made you gasp out his name suddenly; your fingers clutched at fistfuls of his undershirt, and your legs began to shake where they were hooked around his hips and half-pushed-down pants.
“Oh my god,” you gasped, the pleasure hitting you again—but it was better than with the toy, it was stronger, and it just kept going because he kept going.  When your head fell back onto the mattress with a sigh, he realized that he’d made you come.
“Wait, fuck, I wasn’t looking,” he rushed as he popped his head up from the crook of your neck, “do it again.”
You laughed breathlessly and pushed against his shoulder a bit; “Shut up, I can’t do it on command.”
“You did it the last two times I told you to,” he reminded you, and that just made you feel even more deliciously dizzy. 
Yes, you were definitely his girl now—totally addicted to him.  You’d never felt like this with somebody—not just physically, but the trust and the laughter and the comfort of it all.  This wasn’t a too-empty dorm room that still smelled like fresh paint, it wasn’t a mattress with no sheets in an apartment with 5 roommates nearby, it wasn’t a guy you vaguely knew from a two-hundred-student class or someone you saw on a dating app and talked with for an afternoon before meeting for ‘coffee’ (it was never just coffee).  This was Mr. Murphy—and that should’ve made it weirder, but somehow, it just made it make more sense.
“So, if I tell you to come again,” he spoke lowly by your ear, a new authority to his tone, “you should come.”
You couldn’t think of anything else to say: “Yes, sir,” you breathed, hugging him close to you and pressing your face against his shoulder.
Of course, it wasn’t quite instantaneous, but just another minute of him giving you those deep, controlled thrusts right into your favorite spot sent you over the edge easily—and this time, he gently guided your face out of its hiding spot and looked at you, watched your pleasure overtake you, tenderly rubbing your cheek with his thumb.  “Good girl,” he praised softly, kissing you again just as the last of it drained from you; you were so numb that you barely heard him whisper something to you—it took you a few seconds to process it.
“I’m gonna come,” he’d whispered to you, “fuck, you’re so fucking warm…”
“Come inside,” you instructed, and for all the concern he tried to perform for you after you said that, his moan was undeniable, as was the way he started to move faster.
“Fuck, really?” he nearly whined.  “Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” you nodded, panting.
“You’re on—”
“Yes, please, just come inside me,” you begged, and he finally stopped protesting and pressed himself as deep into you as he could—you could feel the way his cock flexed, and it made your exhausted walls dig up just enough energy to flex back.
“Fuuuuck,” he groaned, holding onto you tightly.
You hummed a little at the feeling, turning your face towards his, hoping to see what he looked like in this moment—but he pulled you into another kiss before you could get a good look.  Even this kiss was different from the others—a little slower, a little more tired in a wonderful, dreamy way.  He was breathing heavy against you, and eventually he found the energy to push himself up with his arms on either side of your head, and you smiled up at him.  He looked really fucking good like this: his face a bit flushed, which seemed to show his freckles and fine lines even more (which you adored); his hair falling down, a little wavier from the slight sweat he’d worked up; his lips swollen and slick from the kisses; and those eyes, they looked as beautiful as always, but they made you feel beautiful, too.
“Is taking this one out gonna hurt, too?” he asked you with a smirk.
“Probably a little,” you shrugged.
“For both of us,” he agreed, “I’m so fucking sensitive now… you really do have me acting like a desperate college boy—but you know, it’s been a while, so…”
“Right, sure—good excuse,” you joked, but you didn’t mind any of it either way.
He did it a little quicker, pulling back as he took a sharp breath in, and you giggled softly.
“Fuck, I can feel it, like… leaking out,” you admitted, biting your lip at the sick satisfaction of the warm gush.
“I think I need to see that,” he said, sitting up and picking your legs up from under the knee to look at you.  This was apparently a habit of his—and you were starting to get used to it already.
“How’s it look?” you asked, wondering if he’d finally stretched you out after that.
He just stared at it for a moment longer, running his tongue over his teeth, before finally looking back at you and saying with a smile: “Looks like you need the Tide pen more than I do.”
7K notes · View notes
dilrmma · 5 days
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love tropes. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ enhypen as different love tropes : masterlist
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lee heeseung ( 이희승 )
bad boy falls for good girl find here ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ summary .. lee heeseung never believed he could be loved or that love existed, it was a waste of time and truthfully he had no energy to love someone other than himself. at least, that was what he preached before he met you—the valedictorian and goody two shoes of decelis high. maybe now, with you as the light at the end of the tunnel, he’d find love.
# songs afterglow, taylor swift touch it, ariana grande moonlight, chase atlantic she, harry styles
park jongseong ( 박종성 )
famous boxer falls for his assistant find here ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ summary .. jongseong’s job kept him busy, finding less time to have a life outside of the boxing ring—which included extending his love life. however, when his trainer suddenly introduces his daughter to him, he feels his entire life flip upside down as he finds himself winning for you.
# songs eyes don’t lie, isabel larosa distraction, jack and jack one love, justin bieber million dollar man, lana del rey
sim jaeyun ( 심재윤 )
hopeless romantic stuck in a playboy body find here summary .. sim jaeyun never intended to be such a heartbreaker, he was rushing into love hoping he’d find the one he really needs. he was a lost puppy in a world of experienced. and one day as he strolls aimlessly through a blockbuster store, he finds the store clerk quite interesting and the key to the void in his yearning heart.
# songs french love story, jack and jack tennis court, lorde fools, madison beer already over, sabrina carpenter
park sunghoon ( 박성훈 )
growing up together just a wall away read here ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ summary .. park sunghoon was a face you saw while throwing out the trash or getting groceries in your moms heels, he was always there, although comforting—he found ways to meddle into your life. like, now, when he suddenly needed a favor from you that could change the trajectory of your entire relationship with said neighbor.
# songs paris, sabrina carpenter plastic palm trees, tate mcrae all that matters, justin bieber style, taylor swift
kim seonwoo ( 김선우 )
grumpy can’t resist sunshine’s charms read here ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ summary .. kim sunoo was the worst person you’ve ever met. he was clingy, sweet, and thoughtful. the boy also couldn’t take a hint, a hint that you wanted nothing to do with him. you were fine being alone, you were fine with living life quietly. until, you can’t stop your heart from beating faster and your ears from getting hotter every time sunoo speaks to you. you really couldn’t be falling in love, could you?
# songs the way i loved you, taylor swift wildest dreams, taylor swift wish that i could, UMI if you let me, alina baraz
yang jungwon ( 양정원 )
enemies forced into a marriage read here ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ summary .. ‘till death do us part’ was a reminder in your tense household living with none other than your greatest enemy. you hated his guts, you wished nothing but the worst for him—so why were you suddenly taking care of his wounds and making sure he was being careful? months ago, if you were told you’d be craving his touch and voice you’d call everyone crazy, but why you were the crazy one for feeling this way?
# songs i wanna be yours, artic monkeys hurts so good, astrid s pretty when i cry, lana del rey art deco, lana del rey
nishimura riki ( 西村 力 )
your best friend’s brother is enticing read here ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ summary .. you’ve never batted an eye at your best friend’s older brother, he was average and a little irritating. so, why is it that under the dim lights and alcohol swirling in your system that he was the boy of your dreams? perhaps the liquid courage was helping you realize your hidden feelings for the boy you’ve been sworn off of.
# songs million dollar baby, tommy richman boyfriend, justin bieber escort, chase atlantic heartbeat, childish gambino
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note : these are all small drabbles around 1k-1.9k! originally a headcannon but i was writing too much for each so i decided to do this :P gonna be released like one week apart from each other 👍 to keep me busy! there are also mini love tropes inside these love tropes because i can’t choose 😵‍💫…
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luvacookie · 2 months
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୨୧ thru ur phone.
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connie leaves his phone unattended.
❥ warnings : cheating, threats, intended useage of lowercase, fem blk coded reader
❥ cookie for ur thoughts ? : sorry guys was in an angsty mood so i wrote an angsty drabble </3 but i am considering writing a follow up to this !
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“the fuck is this connie ?”
he stares at his game, the lighting from the screen highlighting the contortion of his face.
“what’cha on about..” he says dazed, groaning as he gets killed again.
you throw his phone on top of his desk harshly, the device landing face up. he jumps at the unexpected, loud noise, his eyes finally cutting away from the screen and to you with a squint.
“what the fuck ? i’m in the middle of s’mthin’ ‘nd you throwin’ shit in my face,” he says with a huff, unaware of what almost hit him.
“ion give a fuck about your dumb fucking game ! who the fuck is that and why is she texting you about how she misses you in her fucking bed constance,” you shout at him, your hands fidgeting in annoyance.
his face drops at that statement, suddenly sitting up straight and realising that it was his phone that you were holding.
he snatches it up quickly, scrolling through all the notifications.
“the fuck you going through my shit for y/n—” he says annoyed, looking up at you with a scowl.
“don’t play that card with me right now, i’m so close to beating the living shit outta your ass !” you yell, the fidgeting turning into mild pacing.
he watches you move up and down with narrowed eyes, the words on his tongue struggling to find an exit. “it’s nobody, stop stressin’ over it.”
“ ‘nobody’ my fucking ass constance ! you think ‘cus you named the bitch ‘work’ in yo’ phone means i’m fuckin’ dumb ?” you snap at him, standing in one place.
he stands up out of his gaming chair, attempting to cross the room to you.
“don’t fuckin’ come near me connie. i swear to god, i will put hands on your scumbag ass—” you spew, taking steps backwards.
“y/n talk to me, we can talk about this,” he tries, his hands reaching for you.
you scoff. “fuck tha’ and fuck you. get your shit and fuckin’ go.”
he looks taken aback, not expecting those words out of your mouth. “huh ?”
“i’m not fucking repeating myself, find somewhere else to be ‘cus i do not want to see your fucking face right now,” you say firmly, watching him.
his eyes scan over you in mild disbelief. he tries to step towards you again and you step back, your mindset clear and decided. he stops and looks around for a brief moment before disappearing into your shared bedroom.
you exhale a shaky breath and the tears, that you didn’t know you were holding, start falling. you hold your mouth to silence the sounds of your cries, opting to move into the living room and sit on the couch as they continue to slide down your face.
you try to slow your heart rate and your breathing, desperate to keep your composure so that when he walks into the room you can keep your head held high.
you’re texting your best friend, informing her of the situation when connie appears in front of you from a distance, holding a duffle bag with a few random items in it and his shoes.
“i- i’m sorry y/n, i am,” he mumbles, rocking back and forth on his feet like a child.
“sorry isn’t fucking good enough,” you reply.
he opens his mouth to say something but decides not to, choosing to put his shoes on and unlock the front door.
he turns to look at you before leaving, the chain rattling as the door shuts.
when you feel confident enough that he’s out of range you start sobbing, the tears flowing consistently.
there’s nothing you can do but let the heartbreak consume you, ignoring the sound of his car racing down the street.
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mxrecg · 11 months
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True Love vs Infatuation | Gojo x Reader
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Summary: Gojo loves nothing more than spending time with you, even if it only consists of doing the most mundane of things. It wasn't until today, you realized just how much Gojo Satoru loves you.
Pairing: High School Gojo x YN
Genre: fluff, established relationship
Word Count: 2.4k
A/n: Imma be so honest idk wtf this is but I wrote it a hellaaa long time ago. So bc JJK s2 is out I thought why not post this drabble I wrote a long ass time ago. I also genuinely think this prolly isn't how canon Gojo would act but bruh I tried!! Anyways enjoy
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Incandescent fireflies painted the dark sky with small flakes of light, creating an enriched serene atmosphere for reading. 
So there you sat cross-legged, outside your balcony, fully engrossed by the book you were reading. 
You slowly became hypnotised by the words allocated within the pages of the novel you were reading.
As your eyes further loomed through the pages and comprehended the context, your eyebrows furrowed in irritation and cuss words occasionally left your lips. 
Lost and captivated by the words decorating the interior pages of the book, you paid no mind to the snoring boy who laid down on your lap. 
You continued reading the story. Book in your dominant hand; whereas, the other one gently massaged the scalp of the teenage boy on your lap. 
Page after page began to turn, and soon enough you’ve reached the final page… to say you were disappointed was an understatement. 
Angered at the ending, you immediately slammed the book down on a coffee table and debated on whether or not you should ignite it on fire for illustrating such a realistic yet heartbreaking ending. 
Your sudden outburst lured the teenage boy out of his sleep, and he groaned, carelessly rubbing his eyes during his tired state. 
“Did one of your favourite manga boys die again?” he asked, now fully sitting up and stretching his arms. 
“You’re not entirely wrong,” you aggravatedly muttered. 
“Then tell me what’s aggravating your pretty self and giving you wrinkles,” he stated and you didn’t even bother showing your irritation to the latter comment. 
You took a deep breath, turned your head and he watched as your eyes became livid as you recited the vast difference of each character’s milieu and how their fate perfectly intertwined with one another. 
Your hands doing all sorts of motions, in an attempt to exemplify your extreme dislike and sadness of the poetic story you read. 
A story involving two individuals who unconsciously were ameliorating each other’s lives.
“It’s infuriating Satoru!! Did these two airheads even love each other?? It hasn’t even been like 24 hours and the girl is already marrying the man who was bawling his eyes over another girl- love of my life my ass,”
Satoru listened to your outburst intently, smiling at the sounds of your melodic voice. 
You let out a small huff of frustration, before finally ending your rant and the tears suddenly cascaded down your pale skin, “That being said, the author is able to write damn well.” 
Satoru only laughed quietly, wiping away your stray tears with his right hand, “I thought you hated sad romantic books? Why would you willingly choose to read Shakespere? At least watch the movie instead,” he replied and began playing with your hair. 
His reply caught you off guard and you tilted your head in confusion, staring at him with wide eyes. 
“You know what book I’m talking about?” you asked incredulously.  
“Yes… why do you look so shocked?” he asked, continuing to brush the threads of your h/l h/c hair, “It’s Romeo and Juliet, how could I not know? I swear Shoto was straight up fangirling about the movie actor-Da Vinci!!” 
“Da Vinci?” you replied, flicking his forehead and trying to hide your growing amusement, causing the man to pout his lips, “How the hell would a painter act? A dead painter at that.”
“No- no Leonardo Da Vinci the actor-”
It took every fibre in you to not burst out laughing at the moron in front of you, “My love, listen to me carefully- it's Di Caprio. Da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa.” 
The man in front of you scoffed at your reply. 
“Da Vinci. Di Caprio, who cares. They’re both Leo’s involved in the art industry of the world. You must admit though, neither of them compare to me!” he said proudly. 
“I don’t know…. Leonardo Di Caprio does seem to have a lot of fangirls right now…. I mean have you seen him in Romeo and Juliet? Or better yet, Titanic?”
The man only poked the interior of his cheek with his tongue, scowling at you as you laughed. 
“The real question is though- did you read the book?”
“Yes,” he let out, not missing a beat. 
“The Satoru Gojo reads? The world must be ending,” you teased, clasping one of his hands and using your other hand to caress his cheek. 
Satoru didn’t say anything. Instead, he leaned into your hand and softly smiled. 
His eyes soon twinkled into amusement, as an idea struck him. 
Noticing the change of his behaviour, you lifted an eyebrow to display your confusion. Satoru remained silent and instead flipped you over, so that your back was pressed against the couch. 
He smirked, straddling your hips and began tickling your sides. 
Squirming under his touch, you burst into fits of laughter, “T-toru…. S-stop….” you tried to breathe out, “Gojo- p-please hahahaha.”
Your pleas only encouraged him to tickle you faster, and you soon began to kick your feet, thrashing beneath the man as if your strength could overpower his. 
“Say Gojo Satoru is the strongest person in the world,” he smiled, continuing his attack. 
“I’d rather die,” you said in between heaps of laughter.
The man poked the interior of his cheek before smirking at you, a playful smile adorning his face as he continued with his attack. 
“Being tickled to death. Hm that seems new, I’ll discard your body so don’t worry, suit yourself,” he replied and grazed his fingers at your newly exposed skin, since your shirt slowly began to ride up above your navel. 
“Ok ok… Gojo… is the… strongest person….” 
“Go on, continue,” he encouraged. 
Despite the laughter escaping your lips, forcing your eyes shut, you already sensed the cockiness behind his words and you immediately laughed harder when you thought of something that would catch him off guard. 
“Gojo- i-is… the… strongest….” you stuttered out. 
“Altogether, now, state the full name,” he stated. Although, it seemed more like a command than a request. 
“OK!! Gojo Y/n is the strongest person in the world,” you spurred out in one quick breath. 
Impressed with the turn of events and his lack of words, you could not help but smirk- considering you made this cocky guy lose his demeanour. 
His tickling immediately ceased, his irises resembling a deer caught in the headlights, and his mouth slowly falling open. 
Gojo was in disbelief, as he tried to ensure his hearing wasn’t deteriorating and the words that escaped your mouth not too long ago were not a part of his mere illusive imagination.
Before he could recover and say some snide snarky remark, you grabbed Satoru’s shirt, pulling him down with you against the cushions of the couch you resided on. 
The action took him by surprise, but he didn't refuse and instead grabbed your waist, pulling you closer to him, with his arms eventually caging you beneath him. 
He licked your bottom lip, and you found yourself parting your mouth slightly, both your tongues intertwining with one another. 
Caressing your cheek, he then began to angle your head more towards the left, and did not hesitate to bite your bottom lip shortly after. 
You hissed at the new sensation, and Gojo immediately attempted to alleviate the now burning sensation on your lips by running his lips over the new forming bruise. 
You were the first to pull back to breathe. As the both of you attempted to even out your breathing, one of your hands caressed his dusted pink cheeks, while the other one removed his sunglasses, revealing those piercing icy blue eyes you fell in love with. 
He looked at you with such love and adoration that you could not help but feel butterflies swarming around your stomach. 
Your e/c eyes looked up at his illuminating bright blue ones and you smiled, “I’m the strongest person in the world, Toru.”
“That you are,” he replied, kissing your nose. 
“You’re not even going to rebuttal and be the cocky bastard you usually are?” You questioned him, raising an eyebrow.
“You’re the strongest… The strongest doesn’t necessarily mean having the most power. It’s your character. Plus you got me… not just anyone could make me fall in love with them. You have my tall ass whipped around your finger.” 
You stared at your boyfriend, in awe and bursted out laughing. “We’re both strong. How about that?” 
“Mhm. We’re the top two strongest special grade sorcerers to exist, and for the next century to come” he muttered and buried himself into your neck, as he was now fully lying down on you. 
You laughed at his reply, “Your best friend might not like that statement so much,” 
“... I mean you’re also my best friend and technically you’re stronger than him, not by a longshot but still stronger nonetheless… and I couldn’t be more proud of you,” he mumbled and kissed your neck. 
You quietly hummed in reply, and began to softly hymn the songs of a soft lullaby.
Satoru was still lying on top of you, and as the melody escaped your lips, your fingers threaded his soft white hair. 
Gojo Satoru was at peace. This cocky bastard was like putty in your hands, and you wouldn’t have had it any other way.
To others his exterior forecasted a childish, arrogant and conceited individual. One who would blatantly show his dislike to those who he did not give an ounce of care for. 
And to the shaman and other sorcerers who only knew his name, he was a force to be reckoned with and feared. 
But to you, he was only Gojo Satoru. 
“Y/n?” he called out softly. 
“Yeah?” 
“You know, I love you, right?” his face may have been hiding in your neck, but you could feel him smiling. 
You raised an eyebrow at his sudden comment, but even you couldn’t stop the smile threatening to form, “I know. And I love you too, forever and always,” 
“You didn’t lie though earlier,” he randomly stated, “One day, your new name will become Gojo Y/n.”
“Satoru…” you whispered, fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall. 
“One day, I’ll marry you… and when we’re older you'll become the mother of our children.”
“One day Satoru, one day,” you replied, kissing his temple. “By the way, since when did you even read- romance books?” 
You felt his breathing hitch and he slowly pried himself off of you, aimlessly scratching the back of his head. 
“Uhm… like two years ago?” 
“Why though?”
“About two years ago,  there was a new transfer student. I noticed she was eloquently spoken, especially in English-”
“Eloquently spoken??” You asked, trying to suppress your laughter. 
“Shut up and let me finish,”
You covered your mouth and smiled. 
“Anyways, I was coming back from a mission and stuffing my face with an assortment of sweets. Then I heard you and Shoko talking about romance novels, and how you liked guys that read… so the first book I picked up was some corny romance manga and then I read Romeo and Juliet. Shitty book that I barely understood but happy ending I guess.” 
“So you only started reading because you overheard me talk about it?” you pinched his cheeks, “Aw, first year Gojo Satoru was so whipped and in love, how sweet” 
Satoru only rolled his eyes at your statement, and you bursted out laughing as you remembered his attempts to woo you back in your first year. 
“I thought you barely had any hobbies?” you asked. 
“I don’t. Because I’m good at everything.” 
“Yet you still chose to pick up reading of all things?” you slightly laughed. 
“I would pick up any hobby if you asked me to, honestly.”
“No offence, but if that is where you got your romance from you did a shitty job, love.” you giggled. 
“Ouch,” he replied,  “But hey it went pretty well, you’re mine now anyways.” 
 “That you are,” You replied, kissing his nose. “So if you read the book and I assume you also watched the movie, do you understand my pain?” 
“100% Romeo is an airhead. He was probably just horny and infatuated with the first female he saw,” he bluntly stated and you couldn’t help but laugh out loud, Satoru joining in on your laughter. 
As your laughs began to die down he continued, “On a serious note though… Whether or not it was love, their actions prove that they did love each other. I guess love really does make you blind, their suicide only proved that.”
“Tragic ending?” 
“Not really… in a way, I believe it’s a happy ending- that is, assuming those two airheads were actually in love with each other.”
“Did you not hear me muttering cuss words when reading and slamming the book? If you asked me, that book was nothing but aggravating and sad.” 
“Sad as their death was, it was a happy ending. They claimed to have met their soulmate and the love of their life before they died. Not everyone gets that luxury you know?” 
You looked at your boyfriend with both amazement and confusion, “Since when were you so wise?” 
“I don’t even know, love. But I’m not wrong…. Our story would be much happier though, because neither of us are gonna die.”
“You spoke nothing but the truth,” you quietly replied and the two of you began leaning into each other once again. 
“Who knew Satoru could be such a wise lil baby,” said a voice, laughing. 
The two of you immediately pulled away, and looked up to see no one other than Geto Suguru, the poor third wheeler of your relationship. 
“Suguru… how long have you been there for?” you asked. 
“Enough to know that this man loves you way too much… to the point where he knows his feelings for you aren’t infatuation but solid feelings.” 
While you were a blushing mess, Gojo only smiled and smacked his best friend on his back, “Okay enough chit chat, why don’t we all get something to eat, yeah? I suggest-” 
“Steak. We’re eating steak tonight at that new restaurant. You both are paying. It’s the least you could do for making me witness such crap.” 
“You’re just mad because you’re single, bro”
“Ain’t that the truth,” you agreed. 
“Shut the actual fuck, both of you lovebirds.”
The three of you then laughed and made your way to the restaurant of Suguru’s choice.
A/n: So any thoughts? I hope you all liked it <3 Ngl, this does have another part to it, but idk if I'll ever post it tbh. Follow me on my ao3 account I have other ffs there too @idekmxre
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monzabee · 1 year
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🪩 || bee's masterlist
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AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM THE AUTHOR!
welcome to my masterlist! you can find all of my works as of now under the cut, and here's a masterlist key to help you navigate your way through!
masterlist key: — social media au - ✧ — fic - ✶ — drabbles - ✫ — headcanons - ᕯ
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MAX VERSTAPPEN (MV1)
fuck being underrated ✧ : the one where Max is dating his team principal's daugther, who happens to be the hottest model of the year.
third time's the charm ✧ : the one where you are there to celebrate Max winning his third title, and the whole world is there to witness it.
two sides of the same coin ✶ : the one where you try to convince yourself that you're not falling for your teammate, but can't help it when you realise that he is not that different from you after all.
beach read ✶ : the one where you and Max go on a holiday for the first time, and you realize just how much you love 'Vacation Max'.
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CHARLES LECLERC (CL16)
how you get the girl ✶ : the one where you and your boyfriend Charles attend a gala for a friend and run into Harry Styles – who happens to be your ex.
in my lover era! ✧ : the one where Charles becomes a Swiftie because of his girlfriend.
like real people do (+18) ✶ : the one where you are having sex with your boyfriend, Charles, for the first time but he wants everything to be perfect for you. [minors dni!]
you'll change your name or change your mind ✶ : the one where you find your way back home, even if the journey takes longer than you think.
this is a relationship, that i don't think anyone saw coming ✶ : the one where you and Charles think you are successfully fooling everyone on the grid, when in reality you are the ones being fooled.
the name game ✶ : the one where you and Charles try to get through one of the first hardships of parenthood.
lean on you ✶ : the one where you learn to lean on Charles more than you thought you ever could.
red, white, blue's in the sky ✧ : the one where Charles has an olympian girlfriend.
T.G.I.F ✶ : the one where writing your thesis is harder than you think, but Charles is here to help you through all of it.
pon de replay (+18) ✶ : the one where Charles decide to prove to everyone that it is him that you belong to, and only him. [minors dni!]
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DANIEL RICCIARDO (DR3)
nonesense ✧ : the one where you and Daniel fall in love with a song, so you must share it with the whole internet.
girl crush ✶ : the one where both you and Daniel meet your celebrity crushes in the course of a weekend, and decide to give it a go.
you can check out the rest of the series from here!
redbull gives you wings ✧ : the one where red bull brings together people, again..
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LANDO NORRIS (LN4)
good riddance ✧ : the one where internet discovers that Lando's girlfriend is a singer, who happens to be on a world tour.
short stack ✧ : the one where the internet is obsessed about the height difference between you and your boyfriend, Lando.
déjà vu (beyoncé’s version) ✶ : the one where a bad prank leads to you and Lando exploring an option you thought was not an option.
bad idea right? ✶ : the one where seeing Lando tonight is a bad idea, right?
greedy ✧ : the one where lando finds a certain singer cute.
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MICK SCHUMACHER (MS47)
a vettel and a schumacher walk into a bar ✶ : the one where Mick is dating Seb's eldest daughter, but forgets to mention this to his mentor and close friend. another problem? he can't seem to keep his eyes (or his hands) off of you.
you can check out the rest of the series from here!
heartbreak hotel ✧ : the one where you run into your ex, Mick, at Las Vegas, and chaos ensues.
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ARTHUR LECLERC (AL12)
baby honey ✶ : the one where Arthur swear he's not thinking about you, his best friend, all the time – just today, yesterday, and tomorrow night.
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LEWIS HAMILTON (LH44)
eight words when i think about us (+18) ✶ : the one where Coachella has both you and Lewis high on each other. [minors dni!]
he's a genius ('cause he loves a woman like her) ✧ : the one where you and Lewis (attempt to) soft launch your relationship.
hot girls support 44 ✫ : the one where your husband realises that you are, indeed, his number one fan.
what you do to me (+18) ✶ : the one where Lewis returns home to you – the one thing he desperately wants, but won't let himself have completely. [minors dni!]
partition (+18) ✶ : the one where you and Lewis are stuck in traffic in Paris, and decide to make the most of the situation. [minors dni!]
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PIERRE GASLY (PG10)
feather ✶ : the one where Pierre is the one left mourning after your relationship ends.
all around the world (pretty girls) ✧ : the one where the internet finds out about you and Pierre's relationship.
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CARLOS SAINZ (CS55)
the lusty month of may (+18) ✶ : the one where it's that darling month when everyone throws self-control away, and you and Carlos decide to do a wretched thing – or two. [minors dni!]
mr.big ✧ : the one where there he was, wearing armani on a sunday, your boyfriend, Carlos.
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LANCE STROLL (LS18)
kiss it better ✶: the one where a crazy idea turns out to be the best possible thing for you and Lance.
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©𝗆𝗈𝗇𝗓𝖺𝖻𝖾𝖾 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟥. 𝗉𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗈𝖿 𝗆𝗒 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗍𝖾𝖼𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗎𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝖼𝗈𝗉𝗒𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝖺𝗏𝖺𝗂𝗅𝖺𝖻𝗅𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖼𝗈𝗉𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗈𝗋 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗆𝗌.
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In a Perfect World, You Love Me [i]
din djarin x female!reader
warnings: injury, mentions of blood, cursing, derogatory name calling, forced drug exposure, hallucinations, light smut, angst, and some angst, and a little more angst just to top it off (actually this isn’t nearly as heartbreaking as some stuff i’ve written before lol), self doubt, anxiety, also cobb vanth is here. it’s not a warning but i love him so i wanted to mention it.🤷🏻‍♀️
word count: 6,961
Summary: On the way to visit an old friend, you and Mando find trouble. Both of you are subjected to a drug that puts you in your perfect world. But, when you can’t tell what’s real and what isn’t, how do you know what to trust?
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a/n: bitches be planning out short drabbles about heart break only for it to turn into a long wordy mess. it’s me. i’m bitches. anybody know the show supernatural? it’s a show about like dramatic ass sad brothers who travel the country fighting monsters? (i know you know i’m being sarcastic). i watched that one episode where the djinn puts dean in like a dream world and it inspired this. i wanted to name it ‘din djarin’s djinn dream’ but that seemed a bit too on the nose.
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“sometimes it is not love that breaks your heart. it is disappointment.”
-r.m. drake
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Grogu was safe. That was the first thought that came to mind. You were so incredibly grateful that Mando had decided to leave the small child with Peli at the shop. It had been a last minute call. Weirdly, you were also thankful that you hadn’t stayed behind. You nearly did. Traveling through the Dune Sea was an absolutely miserable experience between the heat and the sand. It would have been so much more comfortable to just sit in the shop, cuddle with Grogu, and watch Peli con her customers.
However, when Mando mentioned he was going to Mos Pelgo you jumped at the chance to visit Cobb Vanth. It had been ages since you last saw the man, and you were eager to catch up with the marshal. So you climbed onto Mando’s rented land speeder, wrapped your arms around his beskar armor, and the two of you set off. What was supposed to be a simple day trip to greet an old friend and ask for a favor turned into a Maker forsaken nightmare.
Your face was throbbing in pain, you tasted blood in your mouth, and you were fairly certain your right wrist was broken based on the swelling and discoloration. Despite all of that, despite the pain and fear, the thought occurred to you once more. You were so thankful you were here. 
“How pathetic.” The smuggler cackled amongst his small crew. “You’re going to protect the Mandalorian from us? You dumb bitch.”
Five dangerous men stood at the rim of the pit you were trapped in while Mando laid motionless behind you. There was a bit of blood pooling from out of the bottom of his helmet, onto the sand, and the only comfort you had that Mando was still with you was the slow rise and fall of his chest. 
The smugglers had set a trap that Mando and you had fallen right into. As your land speeder tripped a wire it caused a blast that had both of you falling into a pit. The damned thing was deep enough to leave both of you injured and you prayed that your injuries were worse than Mando’s and he was just out cold for a moment. Your attackers began to argue amongst one another and you stayed on high alert. Mando and you were fish in a barrel. They could rain blaster fire down on you and there would be nothing you could do about it. The only reason you hadn’t grabbed Mando’s blaster to fire up is because you didn’t want to trigger a massacre.
“Shoot her dead then climb down and collect the beskar. Easy.” One smuggler scoffed and pulled out his blaster. You flinched but the loudest of the men, the leader, shoved the blaster’s aim away from you. “What?”
“The moment we try and get off world we’re gonna get stopped by those damned pirates again.” He snapped. “We keep the girl alive and hand her over as the tax we pay to pass free. We keep all the Mandalorian’s armor to ourselves.”
“Who’d want a bitch over beskar?”
“Oh, trust me.” The lead smuggler chuckled and the sound made you cringe. You set your hand in Mando’s gloved one and wished more than anything his grip would tighten around you rather than stay limp. “I know the man running the show right now, and he’s got a weakness for pretty little things.”
You tried to hide the tremble that shook your frame and you whispered for Mando to wake up⏤ for him to hear you. The lead smuggler opened his bag and you grasped Mando’s blaster. As threateningly as you could manage, you barked out. “You come down here and I’ll kill you. You hear me?!”
“Aw, she’s got some bite. Maybe we should keep her instead.”
“Shut the hell up.” The lead snapped and continued to root through his bag. “Where the kriff is that damned spice bomb?” Your eyebrows furrowed. Spice was bad news. It wasn’t something you ever wanted to touch. You had seen what the addiction could do to people, and you had a very bad feeling about what a spice bomb would be. “There it is.”
Panic hit you, and you lifted the blaster to start firing but the leader tossed a glowing red ball down into the pit and the smugglers dove away from the hole. The ball exploded mid way down into a cloud of red dust that rained down on you and Mando. You tried to cover your mouth and nose with the bottom of your shirt, but it was to no avail. Your entire body grew heavy, collapsing on top of Mando’s chest, and a sharp, tingling sensation washed over you before your eyes fell shut.
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Din woke with a start⏤ panting and desperate for air. His mind was filled with a heavy fog that he tried to swim through to gather his bearings. There had been a wire. Din noticed it much too late and he remembered the ground swallowing you and him whole. You. Your scream was the last thing he could recall. 
His hands drifted to his face and Din hated that it was only then that he noticed he wasn’t wearing a helmet. He blamed the fog. Din scrambled about the soft bed he realized he was tucked into as he searched the space around him for his armor. Din was in a bedroom he didn’t recognize wearing only a pair of sleep pants. Dank farrik. Din leapt out of bed but stumbled rather than landed with any amount of grace. Where was he? Where were you?? 
He forced himself to take a steadying breath and centered himself. 
The bedroom was small. Only a large bed, a clothing dresser, and two nightstands on either side of the bed. The walls were painted a soft blue, two doors leading out, and one wall had a window that spanned nearly the entire length of the room. Din blinked in confusion. Outside was a bustling city with towering pillar-like buildings and early morning light spilling down through holes in the upper shelf casting light on a city that was very much alive. Din knew where he was. He just didn’t know how he got here or how this was even possible.
“Sundari?” He breathed in shock. Din had only seen images of the cities of Mandalore. Sundari, the domed capital city, being the most infamous of all. This must have been a dream. Exactly how hard had he hit his head in the fall?
Din, in all his distraction, hadn’t even noticed the sound of running water until it stopped. He spun on his heel and stared at the door in the corner which must have led into a fresher. Din wasn’t alone. His hand snapped to his hip for his blaster but met air. Maker, he’d be happy when this concussion finally passed. He scanned the room for any kind of weapon he could use and as he grasped the nightstand drawer he froze. Sitting on top of the small table was a holo image being projected up from a disk as decor.
It was a photo of you and Grogu. Din narrowed his eyes at it in confusion. The two of you were at a park of some kind, but he couldn’t recall where or when this had occurred. The door opened, making Din jump in surprise. Fine, concussion or not, he’d fight his way out by hand. However, as if he couldn’t possibly be caught more off guard, you stepped out of the bathroom wearing only a towel.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I wake you up?” You stepped toward him and Din stayed frozen in place. Your hands came up to run across his bare chest before settling on his waist where you continued to trace your fingertips up and down in a repetitive pattern. There was so much happening at once that Din didn’t even know what to think. It didn’t help that the moment your skin touched his, his mind seemed to short circuit. “I was trying to let you sleep in for at least a little.”
Ever since you had confessed to him weeks ago that you wanted more than just a friendship Din had been plagued with dreams of you. Visions of you moaning under him as he buried himself into your warmth, of you riding his cock while his hands explored your body, of him simply holding you in his arms and memorizing your features unimpeded by his helmet. But never had it ever felt this real. 
“Din?” You tilted your head. Hearing his name from your lips, he shuddered. How was this happening? You staring up at his bare face and whispering his name in concern. 
Din tried to open his mouth and speak, but his voice had left him. When you confessed to him, it had taken every fiber of his being to not react. As much as he cared about you, as badly as he wanted you, he knew it was a bad idea. Din knew he had to draw a line to keep you safe. He was dangerous and Din knew it was selfish of him to keep you and Grogu around despite that. He always figured the two of you would go your separate ways when the jedi were found and Grogu was delivered, but Din would never be able to say good-bye to you if he crossed that line. So he lied. Told you he didn’t feel the same and walked away leaving you teary eyed and broken hearted. 
You frowned. Your eyebrows furrowed and he had the overwhelming urge to smooth out your brow with his fingers. Trace every inch of your face with his hands. “You look sad, love.” You lifted your hands to cup his face. “Did you have that nightmare again?”
“Wh⏤What?” Din’s voice was quiet and ragged.
“We’re safe now. You don’t have to worry.” You caressed his cheek. “Me, you, and Grogu. We’re all safe. We have a home. Our days of running are over.”
Din shook his head. “No, no. We were in the Dune Sea. I⏤I missed the trip wire and we fell. You were hurt. We⏤”
“Din, that was so long ago. Out of all the bantha shit we’ve dealt with I’m surprised that memory is the one plaguing you.” You said.
Din pulled out of your arms. “It wasn’t. It just happened. You’re lost⏤ You’re hurt. I have to⏤”
“I’m not lost. I’m not hurt. I’m safe, right here with you, in our home. Grogu is still sleeping down the hall. There’s no place safer for our son and I.” You set your hands on his chest once more. “Grogu with his buir, and I with my riduur.”
Din was so shocked by the Mando’a that left your lips that he didn’t even register the soft kiss you pressed in the middle of his chest. Right where his iron heart would be if he had his armor on. You stepped away from him, walking to the dresser off to the side, and Din watched you go until you let the towel fall from your body. He forced his gaze up to the ceiling to keep from staring. Something felt wrong. Was this a dream? Was he dead?
Din didn’t trust the world around him.
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You startled awake. A cloud of panic and fear drowning you.
“Mando!?” The nickname left your lips before you even registered a thought. You scrambled to sit up, arms reaching out to try and find purchase, but it was too dark to see anything.  Even without your sight, something felt familiar about the material under your body and the comforting smell surrounding you, but the last memory of the smugglers dropping the spice bomb had too much adrenaline rushing through your body for you to think properly. 
The wall in front of you shot up with a metallic click and a light blinded you. Hands grabbed your calves and you screamed again trying to kick them off. “Mesh’la! You’re safe!” Mando’s modulated voice filled the air. “You’re on the Razor Crest. You’re in my bunk.”
Your eyes adjusted to the light and you recognized your setting. That’s why it was familiar. Mando’s scent surrounded you as you were nestled in the blankets and pillow he used to sleep. Standing at the bunk’s entrance was the Mandalorian himself. He looked unharmed, but he always looked unharmed when he was covered from head to toe in his beskar.
“Mando!” You cried in alarm and launched yourself at him. He didn’t complain when you wrapped your arms around him tightly. Mando simply held onto you and kept you from knocking him over. This should be awkward considering how he had bluntly said he felt nothing for you only weeks ago. But, you were so relieved that he was safe and alive that you didn’t care. His hands rubbed your back soothingly as he mumbled soft reassurances. “I thought you⏤ I thought we⏤”
“We’re safe, mesh’la.” Mando replied.
You leaned back and he kept his arms around you. “What happened? The last thing I remember…” It hurt to try and pull the memory out of your own head. Spice bomb. Red dust had rained over you and Mando. You passed out on top of him. “The⏤The bomb.”
“It knocked you out.” Mando said. “My helmet filtered it out, I think. I woke up with you on top of me and the smugglers were climbing down. We fought. I won. Then I carried you back to Peli’s.”
“All of that happened?”
“We’re in hyperspace now.”
“How,” You shook your head, “How long was I out?”
“Two days. The spice hit your systems hard. I was⏤” Mando cleared his throat, the sound scratchy through the modulator. “I was worried about you, mesh’la.”
It was only then you realized you still had your hands resting on his shoulders and he had his own wrapped around your waist as you sat on your knees⏤ the bunk making the two of you eye level. You swallowed nervously. “I, uh, it was you I was worried about. Your head. I thought I saw blood when you were out cold.”
“Small injury. Only took one round of bacta to clear up.”
“Good.”
“You, on the other hand,” Mando mumbled. He brushed his gloved fingers across your face. The touch lingered on your cheekbone. The same one that had hit the ground hard enough to make your face throb. Mando pulled his other hand away to wrap around your non-bruised and non-swollen wrist. How much bacta had he used to get all your injuries healed in two days? “Mesh’la, I am so sorry.”
You shook your head. “None of that was your fault.”
Mando kept quiet, as if he didn’t agree but didn’t know what else to say. The sound of a soft coo made you lean forward and peer around the edge of the bunk where Grogu was standing by the ladder leading up to the cockpit. He lifted his arms and waddled closer. Mando released you to pick the small child up. Grogu whined until Mando set him in your lap and you didn’t hesitate to cuddle the boy to your chest.
Thank the Maker, he hadn’t been with the two of you. You let out another sigh of relief. It seemed like you and Mando had gotten out of the pit by luck alone and you don’t know what you would’ve done if Grogu had been harmed during the whole thing.
“Here. Let’s get you some food.” Mando set a hand on your elbow to help you slide out of the bunk. What caught you off guard was when he let his hand travel from your arm to your lower back as he led you toward the ladder. You couldn’t help but let your eyes wander over his entire frame. Mando was a good man. It wasn’t the shiny, silver metal of a Mandalorian you were attracted to or the reputation of a dangerous and strong bounty hunter. You had fallen for the kind and protective man who hid under both of those roles. Mando’s head turned to stare back at you and a thrill went down your spine. He whispered your name.
You took a step away and cleared your throat. Mando let his arm fall away. Your obsession with him, your stupid idiotic crush on him, had you misreading signals left and right. The only reason you had confessed was because you convinced yourself that he was shooting you lingering looks and that every brush of his hand against you was purposeful and not a mistake made in passing. 
“I’m sorry.” You mumbled. Mando had made his position clear, and you were done crossing the lines and boundaries he had set.
“Can you get up to the flight deck alright?” Mando asked and you nodded. “I’ll bring you something to eat.”
Mando tilted his head toward the ladder and he waited until you began to climb⏤ as if he was worried you’d fall off mid-way up. When you got upstairs, you settled into the co-pilot’s chair with Grogu in your lap and stared out at the blurring lines of hyperspace. A small smile settled on your features.
The world around you was right again.
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Din felt more like himself once he had his armor on. It still felt like the world around him was spinning and nothing made sense, but his beskar was like a heavy, impenetrable comfort blanket. He sat in a kitchen, helmet on, as he stared out at Sundari through a window that sat near a dining table. It seemed the home around him was part of a tower inside the domed city, and Din still couldn’t wrap his brain around that. The sound of footsteps startled him and he turned in time to see you padding down the hall with Grogu in your arms. He pushed to stand⏤ seeing the small child putting him at ease.
“Why do you have your helmet on?” You asked after handing Grogu to him. The child bounced in his arms chanting a recognizable sound asking for food. “Are you leaving already? Don’t you want breakfast?”
Din stayed quiet. You moved around the kitchen with the ease of someone who did this regularly, and he watched you make a meal. It didn’t make sense, he didn’t understand, but he couldn’t deny the attraction he felt toward you being so domestic. Especially after you had just claimed that he was your partner, your husband, your riduur.
“Come here, cutie.” You cooed to Grogu and he let you take the boy from him. You set him in a little high chair and set a bowl of food in front of him. As per usual, Grogu didn’t hesitate to begin scarfing down what was in front of him. You lovingly pressed a kiss to his head then walked over to lean at the corner of the kitchen island next to him. “Din, please talk to me.” He clenched and unclenched his fists. “You’re starting to scare me.”
“I’m sorry, Mesh’la.” He sighed. 
You had shifted even closer to the bar stool he sat on. Din tensed when your hands settled on his thighs and you stepped between them. Slowly, you took his hand in yours and began to peel his gloves off. Din sucked in a breath, but couldn’t find a complaint to speak. You did the same thing with his other hand. Finally, your hands rested on his helmet, but you didn’t move. Not until Din gave a small nod. You pulled his helmet off carefully, respectfully resting it on the counter, and Din felt his features soften as he stared at you. Maker, you were beautiful.
“Din, listen to me, I love you.” You said. A pretty smile spread across your features and you took his face between your hands. “But if you don’t tell me what’s going on, I am going to kick your ass.” He chuckled and leaned into your touch. Was Din losing his mind? If this was insanity, it felt so good that Din really didn't think he minded. “Are you… Are you having one of your mornings?”
“One of my… mornings?” Din furrowed his brow.
“You know, when the nightmare doesn’t end.” You whispered.
Din shook his head. “This isn’t a nightmare. It’s a dream. A dream I don’t deserve.” He let his hands rest on top of yours with the plan to pull them away, but he was too weak to actually go through with it. Din sighed, “I lied to you.” A flash of confusion crossed your features. “I said I didn’t care about you in the same way you felt about me, but it was a lie. From the moment you stepped onto the Razor Crest I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind. Mesh’la, you are my world.”
“Din, are you…” You paused then a small laugh left you, “Maker, are you talking about when we were trying to get to Mos Pelgo, still? I confessed to you and then we got caught weeks later and…” You shook your head. “Don’t scare me like that. When you said you were sorry and you lied, I was worried something had happened. It’s just a bad morning. They always pass.”
“What are you talking about?” Din asked.
“Fine. I’ll jump start your memory.” You pushed up on your tiptoes and then sat on his thigh. Naturally, his hands went around your waist to keep you from falling and your hands wrapped around his neck. “You confessed to me. It happened months later. You’re an incredible bounty hunter, but you move slow as hell, Din.” He narrowed his eyes. “It was right after we decided to keep Grogu with us. Become a real family. For the record, it also took you way too long to propose to me too.”
Din could picture it all and it made everything so much more confusing. Had that happened? No. Not yet. Yet? Had he meant to think of that word? Yet? Din wasn’t planning any of that, but it sounded right. No part of him thought he deserved you or Grogu, but Maker this was what he always wanted. It was the life he craved, but was too broken to admit aloud. 
“But,” Din tried to find a tether to hold him in reality, “Sundari. We live in Sundari? Mandalore is dead.”
“No, it wasn’t. The poison the Empire caused faded away. We rebuilt.” The sound of a door chime made you glance over your shoulder. “Kriff. She’s here early.” You slid off his lap. “Grogu, we’re gonna be late! Let’s get you cleaned up so Soran can walk you to school.”
Din watched you scoop Grogu up, the boy gave him a wave he returned numbly, and the two of you disappeared down the hall. Were his fears the reason he was confused? What if what you said was right? He was just trapped in a nightmare and it was keeping him from living his life. Din had finally taken the leap, taken the chance, and found his perfect home. Now, his fear was crawling back and trying to ruin it again. Din always did this. He always fought himself. It was why he had denied your initial confession and wasted so much time in the first place.
Moments passed, he could hear you moving around the home with Grogu. Until finally the door chime rang again. Din stood up and faced the hall. Seconds later, you stepped back into view. You gave him a bright smile. 
“Alright, where were we?”
Fully accepting this for what it was, Din marched toward you. Your feet came to a stuttering stop and an excitement filled your eyes. You knew what he was doing before even he knew entirely. Din basically tackled you, pressing your body as tight as he could to his chest, and crushed his lips to yours. You responded immediately. Your hands wrapping around his neck as his tongue found it’s way past your lips. Din let his hands trail down your back, over your ass, under your thighs, and with ease began to pick you up. Just like with the kiss, you were on the same page as he was. You jumped just enough for him to lift you off the ground and your legs wrapped around his waist⏤ locking your ankles at his back. 
Din had planned to carry you down the hall, back to the bedroom, but he felt you grind against him and that plan went right out the window. He slammed you against the wall, lips leaving yours to trail down your neck. Maker, he wanted you. Keeping you pinned to the wall with his hips, relying on your grip around his waist and neck, Din pulled his hands away so he could grab the collar of your shirt. He ripped it down to the middle of your torso so his mouth could reach your breasts.
“I liked that shirt, you know.” You gasped, but the way you kept trying to find friction against his hard on told him you didn’t like it all that much.
“I’ll buy you a new one.” Din replied before leaving open mouth kisses down your chest. One hand went back to cup around your thigh and the other yanked your breast band down so his mouth could wrap around your nipple. The unholy moan that left your lips nearly made him come undone right then and there.
“You’re going to be late to work. They need you today.”
“Mesh’la, I don’t kriffing care.” Din said after pulling his lips away from your breast. His mouth found its way back to yours and after leaving a messy kiss there he pulled away only far enough to speak. “As far as I’m concerned the only place I’m needed is right between your thighs.” 
Din licked into your mouth, and he was startled when your hands untangled from around his neck. Then, with great proficiency, you began to unlatch his armor. His vambrace and left pauldron fell to the ground with a heavy thunk. “How did you do that so fast? How’d you know where the latches were?”
“I’m your wife, dummy.” You unlatched his right one, it joined the other on the floor, then you ripped the cloak out from under the top of his chest piece and pulled down on the collar of his shirt so you could leave too soft, teasing kisses against the hollow of his throat. “Now, either keep carrying me down the hall to our bed or drop me on the floor⏤ I don’t care, I just need you to fuck me.”
Din was not going to make it to the bedroom.
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You rose from your seat with Grogu nestled in your arms sleeping. It hadn’t taken long for the boy to fall asleep between the warmth of your arms and the silence of hyperspace. As you drifted toward the door, Mando spoke up.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m gonna put him in his hammock is all.” You whispered.
Mando glanced over his shoulder at you then nodded. “Good. Come back up when you’re done.”
Your eyebrows raised in surprise but you gave him a quiet confirmation before leaving the cockpit. You made your way down the ladder slowly and carefully so you didn’t wake or drop the little green gremlin snoring against your chest. You chuckled and rubbed his back while crossing the cargo hold. When you set him in the hammock, he stirred briefly and you took the time to lightly rock the hammock while humming him a lullaby. Only when you were convinced he had fallen back into a restful sleep did you find your way back to the cockpit.
“He’s down for the count.” You joked and dropped back into your chair.
Mando flipped a few switches on the panel before spinning the pilot’s seat so he was facing you. Your eyes widened and you shifted awkwardly in place. The weight of his heavy stare on you was intense. It burned into you and for a brief second you were sure he could see straight into your soul.
“What’s going on?” You asked. “You okay?”
“I could’ve lost you.” Mando whispered. “I don’t know what I would have done.”
“It’s over, Mando. We don’t have to think about it anymore.”
“It’s not over, mesh’la. There will always be another fight, another opportunity for someone to take you from me.” He argued. 
Mando wasn’t wrong. Your lives were a constant battle to maintain the upper hand over all the people trying to take Grogu and harm both of you. It was the exact reason why you had found the courage to confess to him in the first place. You stupidly convinced yourself that you didn’t want to lose anymore time⏤ waste another second. The silence in the cockpit was agonizing. You wanted so badly to break it, but you had no idea what to say to do so.
Luckily, Mando did not have that same problem.
“Come here, mesh’la.” He motioned you toward him with the curling motion of his fingers. You swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in the middle of your throat like a rock. “Please.” The word was spoken softly, but there was a firm undertone that made it feel less like a request and more like a command. You stood up and took the single shaky step that was required to put you in his reach. Mando’s hands found your hips and he startled you by pulling you into his lap. With a yelp of surprise, you were forced to rest your knees on the outside of his thighs. The moment you were situated Mando spread his own thighs further so each of your legs were pinned between him and the chair and you were even more open to him. “Oh, sweet girl…”
“Mando. What⏤ What are you doing?” You whispered. Your entire face felt hot⏤ kriff, every inch of you felt hot.
He shook his head, his hands roaming up and down your sides, “I never should have said no to you. What happened, it made me realize how much,” Mando raised a gloved hand to your face, “how much I care about you.”
“Wait, really?” You breathed. It was the stupidest kind of response to give and you hated that you just blurted it out. Mando chuckled in response, and you shook your head. “Mando, maybe you’re just… feeling this way because what happened was so fresh. We should give it a little time⏤”
“I spent two days waiting for you to open those pretty eyes for me, sweet girl.” Mando cut in. “I’m not losing another second with you.”
The hand fell from your face to rest on your shoulder and, with the other still on your hip, Mando pressed you down on top of him. He shifted his own hips so he could drag the hard bulge in his pants against your core. A sharp gasp of surprise left your lips. Mando kept you pressed against him and when he dragged his hip against yours again the sensation caused you to groan this time.
“Dank farrik.” Mando grunted as he bucked up against you⏤ this time you moved your own hips to add to the friction and he moaned. The sound of him losing control shot straight to your core and you let your hands rest on his chest so you could grind into him more. Maker, you wanted to hear that sound again.
Mando sat up straight and the only thing keep you from tumbling off his lap was the hand he wrapped around your waist. He reached past you, hands hitting switches and buttons, and suddenly the entire panel of flickering lights went dead. “Mando?” You questioned. He hit one more switch and you glanced over your shoulder to watch as the windows darkened until the lights of hyperspace couldn’t be seen. Nothing could be seen. A hiss of pressure release, then a hand took hold of your jaw to turn you back so you faced forward.
“Mesh’la.” Mando whispered. Before you had only heard his unmodulated voice from a distance, as he was eating out of sight or lying in his bunk with the door closed. But, now it was closer than you could ever imagine. He mumbled your name and you could feel the movement of his lips just barely brushing against yours⏤ his hot breath on your face. “Say you want me, mesh’la.”
You took in a deep breath and nodded. “I want you, Mando. I’ve always wanted you.”
Rather than pressing his lips to yours as you wanted, Mando lifted you with ease and pressed you against the control panel. Something sharp was jabbing you in the back, but you didn’t care. Mando’s leather gloves roughly yanked your pants down, underwear and all. You had lifted your hips just enough to help him, but when you lowered yourself back into a seated position you hissed at the cold metal against your bare skin. 
You lifted your hands to find his shoulders, you wanted to feel his face, but Mando’s hands grabbed you by the wrists and pinned them to the panel by your head. He leaned over you and slowly dragged his hard cock, hidden behind his flight suit, against your already dripping wet lips⏤ but it wasn’t the only lips you wanted touched.
“Kiss me, please.” You begged and tried to lift your head to find his, but he leaned back just enough to avoid you. “Mando, I want to feel you⏤ all of you⏤ please.”
“Not yet, mesh’la. Be patient.” His entire weight was pressing down on you. “Good girls are patient, and only good girls get rewarded. Is that what you want, mesh’la? To be my good girl?” You nodded, breathless from the agonizingly slow way he was grinding into you. “Words, mesh’la.”
“Yes.” You gasped. “Please, Mando, please⏤”
“How lucky am I?” Mando hummed. “To have such a pretty girl begging under me. I’ve wanted to make you fall apart since the moment you stepped onto my ship.” You tensed as an alarm began to faintly ring at the back of your mind. Something inside you was trying to warn you. Mando kept whispering loving words on top of you. “You’re mine, mesh’la. You’ve always been mine and you always will be.”
“No.” You tried to squirm out from under him, but Mando was much too large and much too heavy for you to even move an inch. “No, no, no.”
Taking the hint, Mando released your hands and jumped away from you. Breathless, you tried to sit up and gather your bearings. “What is it, mesh’la? What’s wrong?”
“This is wrong.” You shook your head.
“No, it’s right. This is what you want, this is what I want.”
“No, it’s not.” A sob left you. “You don’t want me. You said so yourself. You don’t want me. This isn’t right.” Your head was beginning to pound in pain and Mando’s voice sounded like it was suddenly far away. The cold metal under you was beginning to turn hot and the firm smoothness of the control panel was taking on a new texture⏤ something grainy that shifted under you. The darkness turned to a blinding light and you gasped as pain began to settle into you.
Your face was throbbing, you tasted blood in your mouth, and your right wrist was aching. Now you had a pounding headache as well.  You blinked your eyes, trying to clear the blurriness out of your vision, and you saw a man climbing down a ladder into the pit you laid in. The smugglers. The spice bomb. Your hand tightened around the blaster you had taken from Mando and you lifted your heavy arm to fire at the man. It hit him in the back and he fell from the ladder and landed motionless only a few feet away.
You blindly fired shots up to the ridge of the pit. Over and over⏤ not knowing what else to do. You fired so much that you never noticed the sound of someone else’s blaster mingling with yours. A familiar voice was calling out to you, but it wasn’t Mando. Your heavy arm sunk back into the sand, blaster falling loose, and your eyes began to droop in exhaustion.
You wished it was Mando calling for you.
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You woke up slowly. Your entire body was sore and it took straight willpower to get your eyes to stay open. There was a thin cot underneath you and a flickering fire ahead of you. A groan fell from your lips as you tried to sit up.
“Whoa, whoa,” A familiar voice said, “Slow down there, little lady.”
“Vanth?” You tried to turn to find your friend, but a warm hand kept you from moving too much. Suddenly, Cobb Vanth was kneeling beside you with a charming grin. Your entire body sagged in relief. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you right now.”
Vanth rubbed his jawline and gave you a wink, “I am much better looking than those damned smugglers, huh? How’d you and Mando get caught up in all that mess?”
“Mando!” You sat up quickly, immediately wincing when a sharp pain shot through you.
“Maker, darling.” Vanth scolded. “Your tin man is doing just fine. He’ll feel just as shitty as you when he finally wakes up.”
You glanced around and just as Vanth said your companion was lying on a small rolled out cot of his own. The firelight dancing as it reflected off his beskar. “He’s really okay? I think he had a head injury.”
“He’s fine. I promise you.” You nodded and Vanth offered you a canteen of water. As he asked, you began to tell him the story of what happened. It didn’t take long until you reached the point of the story that made your cheeks warm. Vanth noticed your hesitance and bumped his shoulder into yours. “Say your piece.”
“They threw a spice bomb and… and some weird shit happened.”
“Yeah, a spice bomb will do that to you.”
“What is it?”
“Depends. What’d you see?”
You paused before shrugging. “I was on the Razor Crest. Traveling with Mando and Grogu. Like always. It was… it felt so real.”
“Probably glitterstim then.” Vanth made you drink more water. “I have no idea how you broke out of it.”
“What do you mean?”
“The drug should’ve put you under. Place you in a happy haze of the thing you want most and trap you there for as long as the drug runs its course. Too much and you can end up dying in that perfect little world.” Vanth explained. “Usually, you can’t get out unless someone hits you with an antidote. Something to cancel the effects of the glitterstim. Unless…”
“Unless?”
“Unless you shock yourself out of it.” Vanth shrugged. “It all happens quick. In the first few minutes you either fall into the spice’s trap or you snap through it. The fact that I saw you wake up and shoot that smuggler is quite the feat, darling. How’d you do it?”
You wrapped your arms around your legs and rested your chin on your knees. The drug in your system deemed your perfect world to be Mando confessing how badly he wanted you. How pathetic was that? You didn’t stay under because even in a drugged out haze your mind knew that it was fake. Mando didn’t want you. Not the way you wanted him. Tears filled your eyes. Vanth didn’t press for you to answer and instead set his arm around your shoulder as a comfort. You leaned into him and fell asleep.
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Every single part of Din’s body hurt. It reminded him of when the mudhorn had tossed him around like a ragdoll. Every atom in his body though, despite the pain, screamed danger. Din forced himself to sit up, blaster drawn. He was in the desert, by a fire in the dead of night. Across from him, he saw Cobb Vanth sitting there casually. Din’s blaster was pointed at him, but Vanth just gave him a slight wave.
“Hey there, brother.” He greeted. “You can put the blaster away.”
“What⏤” Din began to ask, but then his eyes landed on you. Your head rested against Vanth’s thigh and he had one hand resting on your shoulder. Part of your face looked bruised and even from this distance he could see your busted lip.
“Smugglers got the jump on y’all. Hit you with a spice bomb.” Din holstered his blaster and cursed. Dank farrik. Whispers of his dream world lingered in his mind and Din had to shake his head to try and rid himself of the way your lips felt against his skin. “You’re lucky.”
“This is lucky?” Din asked dryly. Maker, his body ached. 
“Little lady here broke free of the spice dream.” Vanth said. Din’s eyes widened in surprise. He didn’t know what he wanted to know more⏤ what your perfect world had looked like or how you had broken out of it. Vanth’s hand was tracing shapes on your shoulder as you slept and Din frowned at the touch. Coming from an imaginary world where he was fucking you, his wife, to reality where you were sleeping against another man was jarring. “You got stuck in it. Tell me, Mando, what was your perfect world?”
You were. You were his perfect world.
But, Din couldn’t bring himself to admit that in his current reality. 
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straylightdream · 9 months
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what am I missing? | 3racha
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act one: “Maybe you should have a friend help you.”
↳ in your mid to late twenties you’re left wondering if you missed your sexual awakening. With a the help of friends you start to really find yourself.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: for the story as a whole angst, a little fluff, body image issues, and self doubt, cussing all smut warnings listed below for what is in this story.
series masterlist
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𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.
𝐚𝐧: these will be shorter Drabble style chapters. 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰. Please fill out this form.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: for the story as a whole, oral (fem & male receiving), piv, unprotected sex, groping, threesome, use or traffic light system, choking, and spanking, more warning to come.
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The feeling that you’ve missed out on something your whole life isn’t something you can’t seem to push away. In your mid to late twenties you’re left wondering if you repressed your sexual awakening.
Your lackluster sex life has only been linked to your commitment to someone else in the form of a relationship. In all your years you’ve only had sex once outside of a relationship. Your one attempt at friends with benefits crashed and burned when Mingyu finally slept with you once and got a girlfriend the following week.
Your weird relationship with sex and its connections to intimacy might have to do with your own struggle of self acceptance. You’ve always grown up not happy with your own body. You’ve never been a small girl and you thought you had grown to accept that, but deep down inside you haven’t. You have a wall built up that allows you only to sleep with someone you “love” because you think they’re attracted to you.
The high walls you built up protecting your heart might have gotten in the way of truly letting you explore your sexual side.
Your sex life has been connected to two boys. First there is your long term ex boyfriend Yunho. Your former best friend turned boyfriend. Your relationship bloomed in high school in an interesting way. Fresh out of a relationship Yunho admitted to you he liked you after a night of drinking hidden away from his unknowing parents. Your heart raced at the thought of your best friend liking you back. Soon after a drunken kiss that night you were a couple. Your relationship with Yunho wasn't always sunshine and roses. You broke up often and he even dated girls during your break ups. But for some reason you couldn’t let him go.
Your sex life with Yunho was vanilla at best. The boy barely knew how to make you come. He tried his hardest, but many nights you were left faking it. Being with Yunho was a learning experience for both of you. His only experience was with his ex before you. Many nights you fumbled around his bed trying new positions but often not succeeding.
Six long years of your life were spent with him. With Yunho there was no dramatic fall out. A small break up had happened the same as many times before. But this time you were trying to be friends. In this short period of time he met Yuqi and fell hard.
You watched him fall in love with a girl as your friendship drifted apart. Soon you led completely different lives and didn’t talk anymore.
After Yunho and you broke up you grew closer with Chan, Changbin, and Jisung. Their friendship was truly what got you through your heartbreak. Many nights were spent sitting on Changbin's couch watching as Chan attempted to make a beat while Jisung freestyle rapped. Your time with your friends really made you feel like yourself again.
Your second sexual encounter was Mingyu, a six one boy who was too good looking for his own good. You worked in a restaurant with him and Chan. For a while he was a part of your friend group. Your friendship started out with innocent flirting, and soon led to something more. Anyone who worked with you assumed you were a couple. Mingyu loved to make you blush. He couldn’t seem to talk to you without flirting with you. Innocent flirting turns to something more when he texted you asking if he could come over to kiss you. With butterflies in your stomach you told him to come over.
One month and three days you spent hanging out and making out with Mingyu. Many times with you shoved up against the wall kissing you like his life depended on it. From the first kiss you told him you wouldn’t sleep with him. Your resolve for your one rule faded when he picked you up one night at two in the morning. In the backseat of his car after he promised he wouldn’t hurt you. He made a promise that even if he didn’t like what he saw under your clothes he would still want you, and that quickly disappeared three days later. It all came crashing down when a completely oblivious Miyeon told Mingyu she liked him. What followed was an extremely awkward conversation with Mingyu after work standing in front of his car.
Your failed relationship with Mingyu didn’t break your heart, because truly you didn’t love him. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell though. You trusted him to not use you. The whole experience in the backseat of his car left you feeling discouraged. Wondering if anyone would ever truly like what they saw when it came to you.
You kept your little rendezvous with Mingyu a secret. Deciding not to tell your three best friends about the mistake you made. You couldn’t push away the nagging thought that maybe Mingyu didn’t like what he saw when you were naked in the back of his car together.
Sitting on the floor of Chan’s apartment you can’t help but be lost in your own thoughts. You’ve been experiencing an internal crisis recently. Yesterday you had another sexual encounter that did nothing but discourage your confidence. Changbin set you up on a date with one of his coworkers, Dawon. Your date was pretty nice and after you took the big step to sleep with him. Everything was going well but you could tell that he wasn’t into you the whole time. He was a man desperately trying to get off. Laying on his bed staring at the ceiling nowhere close to your own release you instantly regretted your choice.
A heavy sigh passes your lips looking up at Chan. Closing his laptop he looks at you knitting your eyebrows together. With Chan, things have always been easy. He’s always been a form of emotional support for you since you met. He has a special ability to read how you’re feeling. You’ve never been really able to hide anything from him.
“(YN)?”
Picking a piece of greasy pepperoni off your pizza you hold it up before tossing it into your mouth. Glancing up you find him still staring at you.
“What’s with the heavy sigh?” he asks, sitting his laptop on the couch next to him.
“Nothing,” you don’t know why you’re not just being up front with him. If anyone isn’t going to judge you it’s Chan.
“Just tell me what’s wrong. I don’t want to ask twenty questions right now.”
Sitting your pizza down on the plate you look up at him. You suddenly feel embarrassed at the thought of bringing your sex life with Chan.
“You remember my date with Dawoon?”
Slowly he nods, “was the date bad?”
“The date was fine. What happened after just left me not feeling the best.”
“Did he hurt you?” Chan was starting to sound angry. He’s always been very protective of you.
“No, not at all. I was just left feeling not necessarily satisfied.” How do you tell your best friend who you have never spoken to about sex that you tried having sex on the first date and the guy didn’t even try to get you to orgasm.
“Wait, did you have sex with him?” His eyebrows shot up and he looked at you like you told him the most insane thing he had ever heard in his life.
“Yes.” Sheer embarrassment flushed over you suddenly. Your whole body burned up to the tip of your ears.
“How bad was it?”
“Let’s just say he was desperate to finish and I didn’t you know…” you would rather the earth swallow you whole then say the word orgasm to Chan.
“Cum?”
You nod silently.
“How was he that selfish?”
“I don’t know but it was a terrible experience. I feel like everyone has an amazing sex life and I’m just lost, not sure what it’s like.”
His eyebrows knit together as he stares at you for a long moment. You can’t push away the embarrassment you’re feeling after even telling Chan about this.
“Maybe you should have a friend help you out.” His comment catches you off guard and you can’t help but wonder if he’s offering his service or if suggesting you should ask someone else.
“Maybe.” You respond.
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Note
Hello! I'd love to see Jacob Black and/or Edward or Emmett Cullen with a single mama. She was given custody of the 1.5 yr old when his or her parents(reader's friends) passed. The little one is ENAMORED with whomever you write it for(like silently follows them/copies them when they're doing something it's just adorable.) Please and thank you!!!
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🍄 Pairing: Emmett Cullen x Reader
🍄 Genre: Fluff
🍄 Summary: Emmett is about to meet the one year old that you took in after your best friend died and surprisingly your toddler's not the one who's nervous...
🍄 Word Count: 1852
🍄 Abbreviations: (t/c) - Toddler's name
🍄 Warnings: None
🍄 Note: Thank you for the request @twilightlover2007! I hope this is what you were looking for, I had a lot of fun writing this. There might even be some Little Bee drabbles in the near future... ♡
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(E/c). Bright, shining, (e/c) eyes. That was the first thing that had caught your attention in the hospital that night a year ago. Despite the heartbreak and despair that had gripped at your heart as the Chief of Police stood in front of you, his words seeming to merge together, barely decipherable through your sobs, the second you stepped through those hospital doors your life changed. Surprisingly, for the better. The tragedy of your friend’s death had become a new shining ray of hope in your life as you took on single motherhood. The tot was barely six months at the time of her parents’ death, but you had, had the joy of watching her turn into the one year old she was today.
Your eyes fluttered back and forth as you watched the hulk of a vampire pace in front of you. Emmett had always been a bundle of energy. You had said from the start that he was like a toddler on a sugar high almost a hundred percent of the time. But this was a different kind of energy than the one you were used to. You were used to the boisterous and bouncy vampire you had come to know and love, but this was a new kind of energy. You had never seen Emmett this nervous. If you hadn’t been parked outside of the daycare center you were sure he’d be blurring back and forth in the trees, his ‘human’ pacing just didn’t seem to cut it.
Your eyes glanced to the door of the daycare center as yet another toddler disappeared with it’s parents into the parking lot. You knew soon that the nursery assistant of (t/n)’s class would poke her head out of the curtains wondering where you were. You were never usually late.
Deciding to take matters into your own hands, you pushed off where you had been resting against the jeep and forced yourself to stand directly in Emmett’s path. But Emmett didn’t miss a step and circled around you, stopping at the end of the jeep and twisting to circle back just as he had been doing prior. You reached out a hand and rested it on his arm as he made to pass you again and held on as tightly as your human strength would allow.
“Babe, stop,” you muttered and Emmett came to a stand still beside you. You paused for a moment to make sure that he wouldn’t start pacing again before dropping your hand to your side. “What’s going on?” Your eyes searched his face for any indication as to what had brought on this nervous energy, but nothing. “I thought you were excited to meet her? If you’ve changed your mind that’s fine-” An uncomfortable lump grew in your throat at the thought of him changing his mind.
You wouldn’t dare hold it against him if he did. But the lump in your throat stayed prominent. (T/n) came along with you. There was no way around that and that meant Emmett wouldn’t be able to stay if he decided he didn’t want anything to do with (t/c).You shook your head softly to dispel the cloudy thoughts. Your poker face must not have been as good as you thought as Emmett’s golden gaze locked with yours almost frantically.
“No, no. It’s not that,” he sighed. You reached out and linked your hand with his, rubbing soothing circles on his marble skin. “I haven’t changed my mind. I want to meet her, I do, it’s just...” His lips pursed together as he searched for the right words. “I mean, what if… what if I hurt her?” Confusion flickered across your features.
“Babe, where is this coming from? You never worried about this before.” You waited for an answer but there was nothing. “Look, you’re great with Renesmee-”
“Yeah, but Renesmee’s half vampire.”
“And half-human,” you reminded. “And you’re great with me too and I’m a hundred percent human. At least the last time I checked I was.” And still were to yours and Emmett’s knowledge. “Emmett, there is no one I trust more with (t/c) than you. And I know for a fact that the second she see’s you, she’s going to love you. I know I did. So prepare yourself, you’re about to be trapped forever.” You giggled.
Emmett’s lips tugged a little at the corners.
“Was this your master plan? Make me fall in love with you and then get your toddler to trap me?” He offered you a dimpled grin. “Cause baby, let me tell you, I’m not going anywhere, you’re like a drug and I’m already hooked. You’re stuck with me.” He lowered his head down to rest his lips against yours and captured them in a short but heart-racing kiss. His lips danced against yours, pulling you in closer with his hands on your hips against his firm chest.
A light giggle broke through the parking lot silence as another father passed by you with his son in his arms, asking about his day. You pulled back from Emmett and blinked hazily up at him for a moment. He always seemed to reduce you to nothing with his kisses, they always engulfed you entirely even if you were the one initiating it. Your heart thudded against your chest and your cheeks darkened as Emmett smirked down at you, no doubt hearing every shudder your heart made against your ribcage.
“Come on,” You entwined your fingers with Emmett’s and turned to tug him gently towards the daycare center. As you neared the entrance, your eyes glanced to the Sunflower Room window where the curtain twitched and the familiar red headed woman appeared to peek through the curtains just as you had expected. Lila was a lovely nursery assistant and (t/n) loved her. She had always been kind to her and was never judgmental towards your circumstances.
Just as you reached the doors, Lila appeared and buzzed you in.
“Hey,” she beamed as you entered, tugging a slightly awkward Emmett behind you. “I was just about to start wondering where you were. I take it this is Emmett?” Emmett nodded and smiled politely. “Well, it’s great to finally meet you. I’m Lila, (t/c)’s nursery assistant.”
You followed to the door of the Sunflower Room and Lila pushed it open. One of the other helpers was just clearing away some of the colouring that had been left out. You’re eyes rested on your little (h/c) toddler sat on the floor with her stuffed elephant and some other stuffed animals that she had collected from the corner of the Sunflower Room. She was babbling incoherently which she had been doing for a couple of months now, she had always been quite a vocal baby.
“(t/c),” Lila called over. “Look who’s here.” (t/c) turned her head at Lila’s voice and locked eyes with you instantly. Just as it always did, there was a light tug in your heart as her bright (e/c) eyes stared at you, seemingly looking into your soul. Your lips pulled into a wide smile as the little tot grinned a toothless grin and pushed herself up onto her feet. It had been nearly three months since she had perfected her walking without tumbling to the ground every time she stood on her own feet. And she was fast too. In seconds she was clumsily running over to you.
Her arms were splayed wide as she came towards you, you released Emmett’s hand to drop into a crouch and allow her to slip her arms around your neck. You peppered kisses all over her face as she giggled furiously. You finally stopped with a little giggle of your own as she looked back around for Lila, but instead her eyes locked on Emmett. Your eyes flickered between (t/c) and Emmett. (t/c)’s nose scrunched as she stared up at the unfamiliar man. It was almost comical to see your large teddy bear of a boyfriend acting more sheepish than a one year old, but you knew his nerves were still present.
“Ah?” (t/c) turned back to look at you, seemingly waiting for an explanation, her small head tilted to the side much like a puppy.
“This, my little bumblebee, is Emmett, my boyfriend,” You knew that she wouldn’t necessarily understand what you were saying, but a formal introduction felt right. “And Emmett, this little bumblebee is (t/c).” You offered him an encouraging smile. Emmett dropped into a small crouch, and even then he still towered over you and (t/c). She continued to study him silently as he smiled at her with a little wave.
“Em?” she hummed. “Em. Em!” (t/c) pulled out of your embrace and shuffled over to stand in front of Emmett, her little palms coming to rest on his cheeks as she continued to repeat ‘Em!’ excitedly. You couldn’t help but let out a little huff laugh as she moved to grab one of his hands and tugged him across the room towards the plush rainbow carpet laid across the ground. She dropped his hand and lowered her body to pat her hand on the carpet, then looked up at Emmett expectantly. The poor vampire turned to you baffled as she did it again, seemingly more impatient this time.
“She wants you to sit,” Emmett nodded and lowered himself onto the ground, awkwardly crossing his legs looking a little uncomfortable.
You watched closely as the little (h/c) haired tot trotted over to the shelves in the book corner and selected the one she wanted, you briefly saw the cover and recognized it as the book My Monster and Me by Nadiya Hussain, which you had recently brought for home. You’d been reading it religiously since you’d brought it home from the store and it was one of her favourites. The toddler wandered back over to Emmett, his eyes following her every move. He straightened his back as she approached and turned herself around so that her back was facing him, she dropped down into his lap, her little legs raising above the floor as they didn’t quite reach over his stretched ones.
(t/c) wasted no time, she flipped open the cover of the book. Emmett, thinking that she wanted him to read to her, started to speak but in a second her hand was pressed to his mouth, her little eyebrows furrowed.
“Uh, uh, uh,” She shook her head firmly. She pressed her finger to her lips indicating to him to be quiet. When she turned back to the book, she began ‘reading’ to him. Not that she was giving any of the actual words, instead it was just the toddler gibberish she had picked up, but that didn’t make the scene any less adorable. Three pages into the story, you caught Emmett’s eye. He offered you a soft smile. In that moment you knew everything was going to be okay and that (t/c) had just gained herself another protector for life.
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probably-writing-x · 11 days
Text
Fragmented
Summary: could you write one an ant from hbh x reader where the readers bee best friends with spider and dusty for years and is dating ant but she gets roofied and they get protective? only if your comfortable tho im just a sucker for hurt/comfort!!
Warnings: Discussions and descriptions of spiking / drugs (support for these issues is linked at the bottom), swearing, mentions of assault / potential assault, alcohol use, panic attacks and discussions of anxiety
Word Count: 3.6k
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“There she is!” Ant grins as soon as you walk through the door, his entire being seeming to light up in your presence.
“Hey! Sorry I’m late,” You smile as you walk into Dusty’s room.
Ant is laying across the bed with Dusty and Spider sat on the edge of the bed playing COD zombies together. Neither of them turn around.
“And hello to you too,” You roll your eyes, closing the bedroom door behind you and walking over to Ant.
“Sorry, hi,” Dusty says quickly, “We’ve just got to-“
His words trail off again as they focus back onto the game.
You look over and Ant stretches his arms out for you, waiting for you to crawl into the space there. He relaxes as soon as you’re in his arms, sinking into the contact as you lay back against his chest, his legs on either side of you. His arms wrap around your waist and his head buries into your neck, kissing the exposed skin there.
“(Y/n) there’s beer in the mini fridge,” Spider mentions, the two of them still directly focused on the screen in front of them.
“They’ve been playing for at least an hour,” Ant mumbles into your ear, kissing you again.
You hum against the contact, “You’re not allowed to play?”
He laughs, “I’m too good for them.”
You’d been friends with all of the boys since kindergarten. Your Dad had enrolled you into a soccer team and you, at the time, were the only girl on the team. At that age, it didn’t seem to matter. All of you stumbled over the ball, scored into tiny fake nets and only played about fifteen minutes before you got bored. You’d then all gone to school together and, really, it felt like you’d been inseparable ever since.
It was two years ago when that had turned into something more between you and Ant. He’d always been the one you were closest to. He was the one, at first, that had always included you in everything. And he was the first one to defend you when someone was rude to you. He made you laugh more than the other two did, as if his humour could be tailored to you. When you were 14, you’d been camping at the lake with the boys. Ant was sharing a tent with you and he’d kissed you. He was nervous and scared and he didn’t know what to do with his hands but it was adorable. He’d got much better at kissing since then. Much better. Spider and Dusty had been weird about it at first - they’d said it would make things awkward and that it would be even worse if things didn’t work out. But then it just… did. You fit together, they realised it as much as you did. And, despite you two being young, nobody really saw this ending any time soon.
“Fucking hell,” Spider grumbles, tossing his controller back onto the mattress.
“Is it over?” You laugh, running your fingertips over Ant’s arms around your torso.
“Yeah Dusty fucked it,” Spider rolls his eyes, “You’ve still got the high score.”
You shrug, “What can I say? I’m just better than all of you.”
“Fuck off we taught you how to play!” Dusty kicks your leg gently.
Ant rests his chin on top of your shoulder, kissing your cheek, “Can’t we just stay here tonight?”
“No, no, no, come on,” You push up from his chest, “We said we’d go.”
“Yeah everybody’s going,” Spider points out, standing up from the bed too, “Plus, we’re already late.”
Ant groans and flops his head back against the pillow below him, “Okay I need to drink.”
———
The party’s happening in a warehouse downtown. You weren’t really sure how you’d ended up here, but Spider had overheard it from someone at school and got you all invited. There was music blaring from speakers and people you didn’t recognise and a million bodies moving around one expansive dance floor.
Ant places a hand on your back, smoothing his fingers over the material of your top. He liked being near to you. He was sure holding you could make him feel better about anything.
“Should we get a drink?” Dusty yells over the music and the boys agree.
All four of you walk over towards one side of the room and fill up cups from the kegs stacked up on one side. Spider makes a comment about how dirty the cups probably were and for a moment you question if it’s even worth having one. But you pour yourself a cup anyway, taking a sip of the lukewarm beer.
“I’m just going to go say hi to the girls,” You lean into Ant, “Are you guys staying here?”
“Yeah yeah we’ll be about,” He nods, bobbing his head to the beat of whatever song was playing.
“Alright, I won’t be long,” You squeeze his hand and walk off towards where you could see Amerie and Harper on the other side of the room.
That was the last time Ant had seen you before it happened. He watched you as you walked away, he always did. And he watched as you hugged Amerie and Harper in turn, before he turned back to the boys and made a comment about trying to find each of them a wife. He’d finished what was left of his cup and then poured out another one and knocked back half of that.
Dusty said they should go towards the crowd and Ant had looked back to make sure you were still within his eye line. You were with the girls, laughing about something one of them had said. And so he’d followed behind the boys into the crowd, just enough on the edge that you’d be able to see them when you came back. He didn’t think anything of it really. Everyone that you knew was here, plus another few hundred that you didn’t. It was all people your own age, all underage and worried about getting caught doing something they shouldn’t be doing. It was a harmless party.
He only started to worry when it had been a while since he’d seen you. Ant looked back over to where the girls had been stood but he couldn’t see any of you anymore. He’d glanced over towards the drinks, hoping to see you there, but you were nowhere to be seen. Maybe you’d gone to the toilet. He couldn’t see enough through the crowd to be able to figure it out.
“Guys should we go look for (Y/n)?” He’d turned around to the boys.
Spider looked at him with a frown, “She’s not answered your text?”
“No,” Ant shakes his head, shouting over the music.
“What if she comes back here and can’t find us?” Dusty returns.
They all worried about you, always. Not only did your boyfriend, but the other two treated you like a little sister. They were always going to worry.
Before they have a chance to worry any longer, Harper comes pushing through the crowd for them. She’s flustered and out of breath and her eyes are burning with panic.
“It’s (Y/n).”
Ant felt his stomach drop, his entire body go into overdrive at the thought of what could have happened.
Spider grasps his shoulder and it forces him through the crowd, the boys hurrying after Harper who leads them through.
They end up outside, the breeze hitting them as Amerie crouches beside you at the side of the road.
“What’s happened?” Dusty speaks first as Ant rushes to your side.
Your hair is disheveled and your mascara has run and your whole body is shaking.
“She just got like really drunk out of nowhere,” Amerie explains, “We thought she’d just drank too much but it all happened so fast. Like twenty minutes and she was just gone.”
“She had one drink,” Spider mentions, “I mean, we had a beer at the house. But one drink here.”
“What the fuck was in that drink?” Harper shakes her head, “This is fucked up.”
Ant let you fall into him, his arm propping you up against his side as you mumbled incoherently. He knew you couldn’t see straight, from the way your eyes looked darker and uncertain. You were holding onto his shirt and your entire body felt like it could crumble in front of him.
“We need to call somebody or get help or something,” Dusty encourages, “She could’ve been spiked.”
“Who the fuck would do that?” Amerie exclaims, “What the fuck is wrong with people?”
They all look between each other, the panic bouncing in the air between them all as Ant holds you like you’re seconds away from disappearing.
———
Your entire body feels heavy and trapped when you wake up, like your mind is waking up before your limbs do. Crisp white lights, rhythmic beating, wires and tubes, the distant hum of conversations you couldn’t make any sense of.
You felt sick and hungry and tired and thirsty and yet felt nothing all at the same time. And you were alone.
“Alright alright shhhhhh.”
You’d know that voice anywhere.
“She needs to-“ It cuts off instantly as soon as he sees you, “Wait she’s awake!”
“She?” You croak out, your words hoarse and painful.
“(Y/n),” Ant half-laughs, breathing out a sigh of relief into the sound of your name.
Like the sight of you had made half of his worries float away almost instantly. Your eyes, now semi-adjusted to the light, catch the sight of all three boys making their way back into the room. Dusty’s carrying food bundled into his arms and Spider’s got a balloon and Ant’s carrying the biggest teddy bear he could manage.
“This was the only balloon they had,” Spider grimaces, tying the string to the barrier on one side of the hospital bed.
You catch a glimpse of it, a pink foil heart shaped helium balloon covered in the words ‘it’s a girl’.
“And we got you your favourite snacks, or at least everything that the hospital shop had,” Dusty explains, dumping them down onto the tray table at your bedside.
Ant still hasn’t spoken, like he just needed to see you to make himself feel okay. Like he just needed to know you were here.
“Wh-“ You cough out, pushing yourself up to sit up a bit more in the bed, “What happened?”
“You-“ The boys all look between each other, like a silent conversation, before they all take up spots on either side of the bed.
Spider and Dusty on one side and Ant on the other. Ant takes your hand in his.
“You were-“ Ant takes a deep breath, “We think you were spiked last night, at the party.”
You feel your body freeze like the words have invoked a shock response, trying to rack your tired brain for any sign of memory from the night before. Nothing.
“The girls were with you, Am and Harper,” Spider mentions, “They think it might’ve happened before you went to the toilet.”
“You just got very bad very quickly, and they knew something was wrong. You fell over and cut yourself up a bit and they took you outside and that’s when they came to find us,” Dusty continues, his brows furrowing in their concern.
“You couldn’t really talk, you couldn’t stand, so we called the ambulance and they decided to bring you in,” Spider adds, “We all got questioned last night but we couldn’t really help, we just kept telling them we didn’t know what had happened to you.”
“I don’t-“ Your voice is shaky this time, and you realise how quickly your heart was beating, “I don’t remember any-“
Your bottom lip quivers, your hands starting to tremble.
“I don’t remember anything.”
“Hey, hey, hey,” Ant speaks so softly, his arm wrapping around you to pull you into his side, “It’s okay, you’re okay.”
“The doctor told us that you might not remember a lot of it. It’s one of the side effects, she told us it’s like being the most drunk you’ve been, but just a lot worse,” Spider explains, reaching out a hand to squeeze your knee.
You look around at the three of them, faces all full of worry. They were all sleep deprived, dark circles under their eyes, same clothes as last night, surviving off of the adrenaline and worry they’d had since the moment they’d seen you outside. You knew you were okay, the girls had stayed with you, the boys had found you, the boys were here now. And yet a thousand thoughts circled through your brain of what could have been. Of what happened without you knowing. Of what would have happened had you been alone.
You feel the sickness boil in your stomach, churning over with every fearful thought.
“(Y/n)?” It’s Spider’s voice, “You with us?”
You blink away the blur from your eyes and force a small smile, “Yeah, yeah.”
———
You’re back at school the following week. And everybody is already talking about the weekend. Ant holds your hand as you walk into school, his fingers laced with yours and his shoulder bumping yours with every step he takes. You can see people looking at you, people pointing out the cut on your cheek or weighing up how bad they thought you looked.
“Hey, the guys are already in class,” He mentions, nudging your shoulder as the two of you divert towards class.
You’d been with him all weekend, he’d stayed at yours and done everything for you. He’d made you food, brought you tea, checked on you every ten minutes, let you watch your favourite films. He was determined to make sure you were okay and, on surface level, you were. You weren’t feeling sick anymore, your headache had eased, your muscles didn’t feel as weak, even the injuries from that night had started to heal. But you couldn’t stop thinking about it. And for every time you told Ant you were okay, you felt like you were lying to him just a little bit.
“Thank god you’re here!” Dusty exclaims as soon as the two of you walk in, “I need you to back me up on this one.”
“What’s going on?” Ant frowns, setting his and your books down onto the desk beside the boys.
“Okay if you had to live in a movie, the right option is Avengers, right?” Dusty explains, “Like why wouldn’t you want that?”
“It’s Jurassic Park!” Spider defends, “Who gives a shit about superheroes when you could just walk around with dinosaurs?”
“Did you… watch Jurassic Park?” Ant frowns, sitting down on the edge of the table and wrapping his arms around you so that you can perch between his legs.
“Shit goes wrong in Avengers all the time! And if you weren’t a superhero then you’re just one of those boring people in the street that has to run away from the bad guy,” Spider shakes his head, “What do you think (Y/n)? What film would you live in? Marvel or Jurassic Park?”
“Urm,” You clear your throat, “Surf’s Up.”
“Oooooh, and (Y/n) wins,” Dusty smiles, “Well played.”
They carry on their conversation about films and bring up all of the worst options they can think of. Spider gets Dusty into a headlock when he persists that Jurassic Park is one of the worst options. The two of them go tumbling into one of the desks.
“Hey, you okay?” Ant says softly into your ear.
You turn around and offer him a smile, “I’m okay.”
He kisses your cheek and you stand up from the desk, settling into your own seat with Ant beside you. He puts an arm around the back of your chair, swirling patterns on your shoulder like he always did. He was an affectionate boy, with nobody but you.
“Hey, (Y/n).”
You look up to see Amerie and Harper walking over towards you as Spider and Dusty take the seats adjacent to you and Ant.
“We just wanted to check you were okay,” Amerie says, “Im so sorry that happened to you.”
“Oh, um,” You shake your head, “You don’t need to say sorry. It could’ve happened to anyone.”
“We should’ve been watching more,” Harper encourages, “I mean seriously that’s so scary what happened.”
“Yeah I can’t believe how quick it all went,” Amerie adds on, shaking her head, “It’s seriously fucked up.”
“But we’re glad you’re okay.”
“Thanks girls,” You nod, “And thank you for… you know… helping.”
They both offer you that sympathetic smile you’d been seeing a little too often in the past few days. You appreciated the concern from everyone, it was nice. But you weren’t sure you could deal with another person checking up on you. They cared too much, right? You were fine. You were totally and utterly fine.
But there was a tightness in your chest that wouldn’t let up. It remained sat there, heavy and clenching. And the more you thought about that night, the tighter it got.
“Alright everybody settle down!” The teacher calls from the front of the class and everyone seems to settle into their spaces.
Ant keeps an arm over the back of your chair, as close to you as you can get. And you try to take a deep breath to ease the tightness in your chest. It doesn’t seem to go.
———
You’ve got sport next, and the boys are doing basketball on one side whilst the girls are on the other. The sports hall feels warm and stuffy and you’re certain the tightness in your chest has only got worse.
“(Y/N)?” It’s Harper’s voice that cuts through to you, flinching you from your thoughts, “You good?”
“I-“ You clear your throat, blinking, “I’m good.”
Just then, one of the boys yells something from the other side of the hall - you don’t know what, but the volume seems to cut through you. You feel yourself flinch again, your chest seemingly tightening even more. You feel like you’re trying to take a step forward and yet your feet are stuck in their exact spot. Like you’re sinking. Your body feels heavy and weak all at once and you’re completely out of control. Your vision starts to blur and your ears are pounding and all attempts at breathing seem to be escaping you. Like your body is fighting against itself.
“(Y/N)?”
It’s one of the girls again, coming over towards you in the sports hall.
But you’re not there. You’re back at the party and they’re coming over to you again, and you’re just as out of control as you were that night. You can make out the faint silhouettes of the boys - too far from you. And you can’t get to them, your mind and your body and your brain won’t allow you.
And then it all just seems to go dark.
———
When you next wake up, you’re in the uncertain surroundings of the nurse’s office. It smells of cleaning products and linen and the bed is rock solid beneath you.
“(Y/n),” The nurse smiles at you from over the room, “How are you feeling?”
Your throat is dry and your head is pounding, “What happened?”
“Well, you had a panic attack,” She says softly, “You didn’t pass out but it seemed you were very close to, your friends brought you here and you fell asleep not long after.”
You nod, “I don’t really remember much of it.”
“That’s okay, that’s completely normal,” She assures you, “There’s somebody that’s been waiting outside if you’re feeling up for having a visitor.”
You nod and sit on the side of the bed, your legs crossed beneath you. When she opens the door and steps outside, it’s Ant that comes in to keep you company.
“There she is!” He smiles softly, speaking so gently it almost doesn’t sound like him, “I thought you might be cold.”
He hands over his black hoodie to you and you pull it on, breathing in the lingering scent of his aftershave.
“How are you feeling?” Ant asks, taking his spot on the bed beside you, facing you.
“I’m okay, I’ve never had that happen before with a panic attack,” You shake your head, “I just couldn’t move or anything it was so scary.”
“Hey,” He reaches out and takes your hand, “You’ve also never been through anything like what happened to you at the weekend, and you’re allowed to be struggling with that.”
“I just-“ You shake your head, “People keep asking me if I’m okay and I keep saying I am but… I just keep thinking what would have happened if…”
Your bottom lip quivers and Ant wraps his arm around you, pulling you into his chest.
“Im never going to let that happen, (Y/n), I promise you,” He mumbles into you, “And I’ll be as patient as you need to help you deal with all of this.”
You pull away from him just enough to look into his eyes, letting them inject into you the warmth that he seemed to ooze.
“We can talk about it, we can find a therapist if you feel like that would help, we can speak to the police again, we can do anything,” He encourages, brushing your hair away from your face and cupping your cheek, “But I need you to know that I’m here, okay?”
You nod and lean into his touch as he smooths his thumb over your skin.
You sniff, “Thats the most serious I’ve ever seen you, Ant.”
He laughs, “Yeah I can be serious when I want to be.”
You smile and he leans in to kiss you as if he wants to seal the smile there. Seal the small fraction of yourself that he could see coming through. And he meant it, he’d do whatever he could to get all of those fractions back.
———————
Helpful Links
Stamp Out Spiking
Alcohol Think Again (AU)
Crisis Text Line
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andthatisnotfake · 2 months
Text
Untamed
“It's kinda offensive that I'm playing Katherina,” Amerie complained. They were putting up an adaptation of The Taming of the Shrew for school. She’d been voted as the title character.
“How so?” Malakai asked. He was playing Lucentio, which only made her even madder — they were doing a misogynistic play, she was playing someone referred to as a shrew, and Malakai wasn’t even playing her love interest. It was very unfair!
“She’s called the shrew?”
“Ok, aside from that… I think she suits you. You’re both smart, headstrong, loyal…Though, I guess there’s no taming you. But who would want that?”
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be-missed · 3 months
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Find You Again (Drabble)
Jenna Ortega x Fem!Reader
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(pictures not mine)
Summary: Four months post-breakup, Y/N "swiftly" moved on, entangled with a rising singer. Jenna, still raw from their shattered romance, covertly attended Y/N's performance at Coachella Valley Music. The echo of Y/N's new song sliced through her soul like a knife, reigniting her heartbreak with an unbearable intensity.
Warnings: curse words, notify me if there are any
A/N: This is a backstory. A new song released by Wendy, so listen to it if you can!
Song: His Car Isn't Yours // WENDY
Masterlist
_____________________________________________________________
"Do you wanna go around to get some food?" Mia asked Jenna, obviously trying to get her away from the stage where Y/N will perform in a few. The both of you planned this; You will perform your first ever stage in Coachella while she watch you. But it turns out that the world has other plans for the both of you.
You broke up with each other four months ago, but you are now dating a rising singer for two months. It fucking hurt, really. It hurt Jenna so deep. She never heard from you after you dropped off her things in her house and she went away to do filming.
"No, uhm, you go ahead, I'm not really hungry" Jenna smiled timidly to her sister. Mia nodded and leaves Jenna alone at their spot, near enough to watch you clearly, but far enough to not be seen.
Five minutes later, the crowd are cheering for your opening song. Jenna was watching you sing, reminiscing those days where the both of you were in a studio and she was the only person that gets to hear your masterpiece. She wants to gatekeep you actually, she doesn't want anyone thinking that they wanted to be yours. Because you are only hers and she's only for you.
She remembers how she drives to your house, picking you up, driving fast in the highway and driving slow through the suburbs. She remembers how you were always waiting up in your driveway waiting for her car to park in front so that you can greet her. Jenna sometimes parks her car on the other side of the street just to surprise you, but hell she wonders how you still noticed where she is parked.
A tear fell from her eyes, she wiped it up fast, not wanting to be seen. She hates herself right now, she hates how she is so hung up on you while you were out there dating some dude. Jenna thought to herself, "Did some force take you because I didn't pray?" because if it did, right here, right now, she'll be on her knees begging that things aren't real and she's just dreaming.
Your voice break her thoughts when you said "So this song is for someone... that has been a part of my life. A big part actually." You bitterly smiled, Jenna saw the camera focused on you, it didn't go unnoticed that you were actually finding someone in the crowd. You continue to speak "So uhm, if you are ever here, this is for you."
Jenna is nervous, because it's either you sing a song about that dude or your gonna sing about her. But she doesn't want to get her hopes high, so she did some breathing exercises to ground herself when the intro of the song started.
You start singing the song, it was... a sad one. A song that is actually about you and her. The moon is taking over the sun making the venue a tad bit darker, making the fans lit up the flashlights on their phone.
You moved to the center of the stage, closer to the people that are watching you. Scanning every possible face that your low resolution eyes can see. Trying so hard to find Jenna, because she promised. She promised she'll watch your first performance in Coachella.
Am I supposed to find someone
Makes me feel how I felt?
I'm trying think it's time that
I try again with someone new
The stream of tears on Jenna's face is now continuous, no matter how hard she tried to stop herself, she just couldn't. No one knew the relationship that you two had, no one knew that the two of you are connected. The both of you are rising stars in each track that you take, but the both of you are still not famous enough to break the internet with some dating rumors.
Now it's eight o'clock and I'm waiting on
This good guy to come pick me up
I just wanna have a good night
He's pulling up, oh my God, I see the headlights
And he opens my door but his car isn't yours
It's not you anymore in my driveway
It isn't you drivers seat on the highway
It isn't you on your way every Friday
And I hate that it hurts that his car isn't yours, yeah
But that car isn't yours
No, his car isn't yours
Yeah
The bridge hit every part of Jenna's heart that screams your name, which absolutely every part of her entire being. After your break up, she just drive past your house just to see if you are awake, to see if your dining room light is on, or just to see you in your driveway waiting for her.
Now it's 2 AM, he just dropped me off
Asked if he could come in, I told him maybe not
Then he asked what he did, I said that nothing's wrong
It wasn't your car
The song ended in a sad beat with you thanking everybody on your team, the festival, and the audience that watched you. Sad to say, you ended your set with a broken heart. You were happy, of course, being able to perform on a big music festival with a lot of people that can support you and listen to your music. But Jenna wasn't there, you didn't see Jenna standing on her spot, rooted there like she was planted.
But that car isn't yours
No, his car isn't yours, mmm-mmm
Eh-yeah, mmm, yeah
______________________________________________________________
A/N: Chapter 3 is not still finished but here is a drabble for Find You Again. If you have any drabble ideas for Find You Again, just send it! Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it!
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luminoustarlight · 8 months
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— ANAKIN SKYWALKER MASTERLIST
©️ luminoustarlight // i do not give permission for my work to be translated or posted on any other platforms.
-ˏˋplease reblog writing to support writers and their hard workˎˊ- 
i do not have a tag list. if you’d like to stay up to date with my writing, please follow @luminous-library and turn on post notifications!
organized from newest to oldest // last updated nov 29, 2023
— Sweet Everythings | fluff, 1k
Admissions, cuddles, and kisses.
— As Fate Would Have It (chapter one)* | smut, 3.7k
Anakin Skywalker gets a new assistant, who also happens to be his favorite OnlyFans performer. *see series masterlist for more parts!
— Love Bites, Love Bleeds | smutty themes, >1k
vampire!anakin thoughts
— Saccharine | smut, 5.3k
What do you get when you mix a college Halloween party with beer and a pretty girl wearing a pirate costume?
A jealous Anakin Skywalker.
— Practice | smut, 2.4k
Playing with Anakin’s hair leads to you practicing your dominant side.
— Passionfruit | smut, 2.1k
Ingesting a foreign fruit leaves you and Anakin feeling strange.
— Your Eyes Only | smut, >1k
You leave Anakin a special recording on his tablet.
— State of Grace | fluff/comfort, 1.3k
Anakin finds comfort in you when he can't sleep.
— Had It Up To Here | smut, 4.6k
After argument, Anakin's patience for you has grown thin.
— So It Goes... | smut, coming soon
As a worker at a sex club on Coruscant, you've seen your fair share of characters. However you never imagined a Jedi Knight would be waiting for you in a private room. Anakin's indulgence at the club leads to some complicated feelings for the both of you.
— Good Things Come to Those Who Wait | smut, coming soon
Anakin teaches you a lesson in delayed gratification.
— Devils Roll The Dice | smut, coming soon
“Whatever number I roll, that’s how many times I’m going to make you cum.”
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multi-part
— As Fate Would Have It | modern!au, dilf!anakin x onlyfans!/assistant!reader
— Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince | modern!au, high school!au
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drabbles/blurbs
dad!anakin x dancer teacher!reader
dilf!anakin’s new assistant is his favorite onlyfans performer - now a series under the title "as fate would have it"!
anakin when he's sick
sin saturday drabbles
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◂ main masterlist ▸ other hayden characters
requests are open!
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peachsayshi · 4 months
Note
If you feel up to it could you pretty please do 68. Character A kissing the Character B and then pulling away because Character B’s too shocked to respond, but then Character B’s pulling them back in and kissing them hard with Nanamin?
➳  minors / ageless / blank blogs dni
⥽ notes: hi anon! I hope you enjoy this little drabble. thank you for being so patient regarding your request! I know I take a long time to fulfill them >.< tension; nanami and reader are best friends & nanami has a big fat crush on her; unrequited (ish); shy nanamin; jealous nanami
"what do you think?" you chirp, twirling in front of the mirror.
nanami swallows the lump in his throat, his cheeks burning like the surface of the sun as he takes in the slope of your curves hidden underneath the sinful black dress you are wearing which clings to your body like a second skin.
he sighs quietly and immediately drops his gaze towards the ground as he presses his thumb nervously into the palm of his hand.
"you look..." he answers but quickly clears his throat to even out the shakiness in his voice. he taps his foot anxiously, fidgeting in place as he remains seated on the edge of the bed. "you look beautiful..."
he tries to catch your reaction from underneath his golden eyelashes, but you are busy nitpicking at the straps clinging over your shoulders, and readjusting the fabric so it doesn't bunch up in odd places.
"you sure it isn't too..." you inquire, mindlessly running your hands along the outline of your figure which only makes your best friend twitch in his pants. "revealing?"
the blonde scratches the back of his head, unsure what to do with his hands since he can't keep still. he stands up from his seat to approach you, maintaining a friendly distance but is now taking you in fully as he meets your reflection in the mirror.
"you look great," he admits with a hint of frustration, "and you looked great in the last three dresses that you wore as well..."
he reads every thought that crosses your mind through the adorable expressions you make. but is it good enough? he catches, when you purse your lips to contemplate the dress again.
it's good enough for me, he replies in his head. you're perfect to me.
"I don't get why you're trying so hard," he mumbles with a hint of indignation,
"because you know long how I've waited for this..."
his stomach churns at the thought.
you've had a crush on that white haired idiot since high school. it was bad enough that nanami had to spend most of his teenage years listening to you "oh" and "ah" over him, but your interactions with satoru gojo were always few and far between. he didn't think he would have to worry about anything ever happening but recently you have both been working on missions together, and over the last couple of weeks nanami started noticing a little spark between you both.
it scared him.
your best friend has been in love with you for as long as he can remember. all his previous relationships ended after they met you (a fact he consciously kept a secret), because all his partners used to point out his extremely obvious feelings to his face.
he's tried to confess his feelings for you multiple times over the years, but circumstances got in his way.
nanami and you have a history. a history of ups and downs, of weaving your lives into each other as easily as the air your breathe. he's sat through conversations like this with you before, held back his tongue as he watched you casually date one person after the other, and was the shoulder you cried on when you went through your first real heartbreak.
but he's never felt threatened by the others before - at least, not in this way.
you didn't harbor feelings for them the way you did satoru gojo.
you quirk your brow at nanami through the reflection, "I'm putting myself out there," you remark teasingly, "who knows, I might even get lucky!"
the thought of his superior's hands all over you, picturing that smug mouth capturing your own makes nanami wince in disgust.
"you know I can't fucking stand the guy, right?" he pouts, the front of his brows furrowing with disappointment. "I thought we agreed that we would only see people that the other would approve of. unless my opinion no longer carries any weight..."
you spin on your heel to face him and chuckle adorably in a way that makes his chest tighten, and forcing a blush to kiss the tips of his cheekbones
"kento, you know I care about what you think, but you've never approved of any of the men that I've been interested in..." you retort, while casually placing your hand on his shoulder and giving him a squeeze.
"of course I didn't approve - none of them were good enough for you," he insists seriously, the tone of his voice puzzling you.
"oh?" you question with intrigue, taking a small step closer into his frame. "and who is suppose to be good enough for me then?"
his heart rapidly beats, making his chest rise and fall as he holds your stare. "I..." he mumbles, the heat on his face unbearable now, "I don't know...but it sure as hell wasn't them...and it especially isn't gojo..."
"lighten up," you reply, dropping your hand from his shoulder to playfully poke his rib. "you're getting all worked up for no reason..."
"you've had a thing for this guy for eight years..."
"and?"
"so," he panics, "it's a big fucking deal to me."
your eyes widen in surprise. "but...why, it's...it's just a date-"
he shakes his head, tilting his chin down as he runs his fingers through the strands of his blonde locks.
"ken," you whisper under your breath, your face falling into concern. "what's going on? why are you so upset?"
when he doesn't reply you seal the gap of space, bringing both your hands to the fabric of his soft grey tee and squeezing the material.
"c'mon, talk to me," you nudge, "you know you can tell me anything."
he shakes his head again, bringing one hand to circle around your wrist as he seeks out comfort by tracing his finger on the back of your palm.
"I can't," he confesses, the depth of his voice sending a tremor down your spine.
"okay, now you're actually worrying me," you profess, tucking two fingers underneath his chin to tilt his face towards you.
nanami closes his eyes, "I don't..." he murmurs, "I don't want to ruin anything..."
"ruin?" you puff out in shock, even smiling uncomfortably at his odd statement. "ruin what exactly-"
he leans in then, submitting to his will to find your lips. he presses his mouth firmly but gently against your own, his hands searching for your waist as you melt into his touch. his heart sings when he tastes how sweet you truly are, sliding his tongue greedily along your own when he feels you part your lips. the kiss is so soft, it makes him spiral into a lustful haze but he pulls away hastily once he realizes that he's succumbed to his impulses.
nanami loosens his grip.
"shit," he hoarsley groans, "I'm...I'm so sorry..."
he glances back up to your shocked response, your body frozen in place.
"It's just...it's just that I saw how you pined for him," he mumbles, fighting with his mind to unravel his jumbled thoughts. "I saw how you pined for him, while....I was pining for you. "
the silence lingers uncomfortably.
"this...this isn't easy for me. telling you this...is hard because we are so close..." nanami exhales to steady his breath, "I don't want to screw us up," he acknowledges. "you mean so much to me, but...but I'm worried that loving you the way that I do is going to fuck things up between us, and I don't want to ruin what we have..."
your fingers lightly pull at his shirt - an indication that you are hanging on to every last vulnerable word.
"I love you. I always have, and I'm asking you, just this once, to please...reconsider..."
you simply blink, contemplating his words thoughtfully but to nanami's dismay you remain tight lipped.
"I know this seems out of the blue. I don't expect you to reciprocate and I don't want you to assume that I consider myself the right guy for you either. You deserve to be with someone who dotes on you, who returns your love tenfold..." the corner of his mouth pulls into a sad grin, as if he's accepted defeat. "I know he's the guy you always wanted, but...I'm just asking for one chance..."
he tries to inch away to give you some room, but you maintain your hold on his shirt as you tug him back in.
"I think," you dreamily sigh, "I think I need a little more convincing..."
you kiss him hard, with a feverish desire that you didn't even know existed until it was ignited by his own lips. nanami accepts the kiss eagerly, his arms locking around your waist, while your own circle his neck. you hold each other in a tight embrace, refusing to let the other go.
nanami stumbles back when you step forward, until the back of his calves hit the the frame of your bed and he finds himself collapsing onto the plush mattress. your body sinks on top of his, your legs straddling over his strong muscles as you continue to draw out the long, heated kiss. years of desperation manifesting through nibbles and gasps, with you both swallowing the sounds of your mutual desire.
when you finally pause to catch your breath, your bodies are intimately intertwined, your lips lingering over the other as your eyes finally meet.
so familiar.
so safe.
so very warm.
(requests are closed)
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