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poisonheadcrabsalesman · 2 years

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Crosiers and Caminos

A commission for my good friend @tigerdrop. I got the chance to write about his wonderful characters from Stay Away From Daniel Creech. Jamie and Daniel are so fun to write.

This work is explicit. 18+. We all know the drill.

Jamie watches like a sweaty neurotic hawk as Mrs. Turner gets helped into one of her friend’s cars in her Sunday best from his hiding spot in the front room. The house is near silent save for the settling creaks and his own ragged breathing. Heart thumping loudly, he shifts his weight to get a better view, heat rising in his cheeks as he feels like some kind of pervert.

He had snuck into the dusty old office to peer out the sheer curtains, but now it seems that’s backfiring on him as he tiptoes out of the room, to yet another window, barely stifling a sneeze.

Just normal guest activities, hiding and creeping on an old woman on her way to church to see if he’s finally got the house to himself.

He squints out the condensation-fogged window, leaning against the wall to avoid giving himself away. The car sputters down the tiny lane towards the church on an already hot Sunday morning, way too early in his opinion, but she should be gone long enough for him to do what he needs.

He lets the lacy curtain fall back into place and shuffles over to the door in the near dark, cursing as he stubs his toe and fumbles the doorknob with his sweaty palm. Heat is already crawling up his neck and flushing his face from the shame. He’s sneaking around like a freak and for what!

Whatever. It’s fine and natural to– Whatever.

There is no way in hell she will be back anytime soon, and he will be able to hear her friend’s ancient caddy as it pulls into the driveway, even from his borrowed bedroom at the back of the house. He’s totally in the clear.

A loud, choked rumble starts up and makes him yelp, heart pounding in his ears as the AC struggles to kick on. Cool air cycles through the ancient system with a displeased hum and he sags where he stands, hand over his chest.

The guest bedroom calls to him, and so does his bag of supplies. He’s fine. He’s been waiting for this, and he’s prepared. Fucking sue him.

He’s got a locked door, a can of febreeze from the Barn Mart, and several weeks worth of pent up stress he needs to take care of.

It’s all coming to a head because he saw Daniel Creech work on some cars.

Jesus Christ, what is wrong with him?

Less than a week ago he was thinking that the guy had killed someone in the woods and that Jamie was going to be next, and now he’s sneaking around the guy’s grandma’s house looking to get off on the memory of their hands touching.

Was he that desperate that the heavy gaze of that weird mechanic was doing things for him? Jesus Christ, Jamie you need to get out of here soon, he’s not going to fuck you.

It didn’t help that his own hands felt inadequate next to Daniel’s or the fact that the whole thing had started when he walked over to the Creech garage. His mental state had deteriorated since that day and he felt like a marble being battered and rolled through a Rube Goldberg machine whenever he thought about it.

After checking in with Tracy to find that, yes Daniel was there, and not fucking off in the woods or something, Jamie just waltzed right in with a stupid grin on his face and sweat beading on his temples.

It’s not like Jamie was popular in town and seeing as how his van still needed a lot of work, he ended up spending a lot of time hanging out at the Creech garage. Things were better now that he didn’t think Daniel was going to kill him.

Still didn’t help him not act like a freak whenever he was near the guy.

Something about him just pressed every single one of Jamie’s buttons. Hot or cold, Daniel would just stare at him with those dark eyes peering up from under his hat. And then Jamie would open his mouth and over-explain and get sweaty and flustered, or get defensive and sweaty and flustered, or straight up get mad and sweaty and flustered.

He went through a lot of gatorade.

Jamie had walked in to find him elbow deep in his El Camino with his jacket off. It was the most skin he had seen on the guy, ever.

He felt his nervous grin disappear as he took in the sight of Daniel Creech’s muscled arm tightening something in the engine bay, pale skin on display for the first time in Jamie’s presence.

Whatever dumb greeting he had planned vacated his head along with all coherent thought as he watched him twist the cap off some kind of tank. Daniel’s arm flexing as his oil slick fingers gripped the lid and it came off with a satisfying pop.

The memory burns like a brand. Jamie hadn’t been able to take his eyes off the way Daniel’s fingers moved, or the way he hefted up a jug to pour something into the car, he doesn’t know what, he wasn’t focused on that.

Jamie had been watching pale skin work with the quiet confidence of years behind the movement. His bicep moved, muscle bunching and holding there until the job was done. The overhead light cast its shadow over the curve of his arm and the brim of his hat, and Jamie had stood there breathless in the humid heat of the garage. The fingers returned, deftly twisting the cap back on with no wasted movement.

Daniel had started wiping his hands on a rag, cleaning each finger and knuckle with a rag and his mouth had gone dry at the sight.

Inhaling sharply, Jamie shakes his head at the memory. Already his cheeks burned and his heart was crescendoing in his ears. He gets as comfortable as he can and wriggles out of his pants and boxers. There is a bit of a time crunch to be mindful of.

Jamie groans as he peels the soft material of his boxers down his legs, hissing as the wet spot touches his thighs. Christ alive, he was already so wet? Just from thinking about Daniel?

God, should he have put a towel down?

Shame curls in his belly, and floods his system worse than the white-hot arousal and his daydream about Daniel’s fingers takes a sharp turn.

Would he be mean? Does he already know? He always looks at Jamie with those fucking eyes and he can never get a read on the guy.

But in the garage, he had seemed….off, or more off than usual.

His jacket was gone and Jamie had felt a bit like a voyeur walking in to see him fixing his own car. Daniel had locked onto him as soon as he opened his mouth, eyes a bit wild like a cornered animal, and he’d pulled an oil stained hand out of his engine bay as quickly as he could.

And then of fucking course Jamie got nervous like they were just meeting again and started babbling. Words spilled out and he felt his face redden as the stupidest attempts at conversation were met by Daniel’s brick wall of a personality. Jamie had nearly given up when he squeaked out some car related question; his voice cracking embarrassingly and he wished the ground would open up and swallow him.

That had been the right thing to say though. A spark behind Daniel’s eyes and then the mechanic was stiltedly explaining what he was doing.

Next thing Jamie knew he was being waved over as Daniel lectured about his car and the different parts.

“Oil’s cheaper than parts, you know.” Daniel looked at him and then away, gesturing back to the maze of wires, tubes, and machinery Jamie couldn't begin to describe. The garage felt warm, not as bad as the humid air outside, but Jamie tugged at his collar anyways as Daniel continued. “S’why I’m changing it out, that and the filter. Look here.”

Jamie nodded and listened, mesmerized by Daniel’s voice droning on about his small block Chevy and the larger oil filter. He doesn’t know jack-shit about cars, but Daniel does. He seemed to know everything, rambling on in his stilted way, voice rasping pleasantly as he poked and gestured for Jamie to follow. Something about Air-cooled and oil-cooled and bigger filters meaning enough extra oil for the engine.

Jamie nodded again, furrowing his brow and made some kind of comment about how he hasn’t really worked on cars and couldn’t see the part Daniel was referring to. He had pointed and leaned forward, closing in on Jamie’s personal space. A flash of emotion, frustration maybe?, ghosted over Daniel’s face and he urged Jamie closer.

Jamie’s next memory of the incident was a bit of a blur, and for good reason. All thoughts left his head as Daniel showed him the part by taking his hand and easing it between the frame of the car and the engine.

"Oh it's uh, warm. Ha." He squeaked as Daniel's hand slid over his and led him to the hidden part. He babbled, hoping like hell Daniel couldn’t feel his pulse pounding. “Makes sense, I guess.”

He hoped the warmth of the engine hid how clammy he felt, but Daniel's rough slick fingers slid over his hand, engulfing it and making his heart pound harder.

His blood rushed in his ears and all he could do was hang on and nod as Daniel droned on about the car while his fingers slipped sinfully between Jamie's and slid against the sensitive thin skin.

He showed him where the bolt was but none of the information stuck in Jamie's mind beyond the burning shame of how Daniel's hand dwarfs his. His fingers are short and clumsy compared to the mechanic's, and his palm covers the back of Jamie's hand with ease. Calluses rubbed the back of his hand and burned themselves into his memory.

His face was flushed and it wasn’t not the garage or the still cooling engine.

The memory of the heat burns, his face aflame and his core pulsing. Why is he so affected? Jesus Christ.

The guy just had some nice hands. And knew his stuff. And made Jamie’s heart race when he looked at him. Whatever.

Sitting up for a better angle, Jamie hisses as he brushes his dick. He had barely started touching himself but it’d been a long time since he had a moment to himself. That’s all.

He’s so worked up it’s going to be over too soon. It’s not like wants to come so quickly from thoughts of his mechanic. His own fingers frustrate him more than do anything good so he backs off, circling back to what feels good. Jamie has to do this right or it won’t fucking work and who knows when he’ll have another chance. He isn’t going to go jerk off when he’s out surveying in the woods!

He bites his cheek and thinks about plants.

Cercis canadensis

Slick warm heat and rough fingers, maybe they would tangle in his hair.

He's going to lose it too quickly.

Polystichum acrostichoides

Crosiers unfurling slowly. Roots digging deep, strong enough to reach down and grow into the mountain itself.

Plants. Heat. His own too small hand.

Jamie thinks about walking in the heat, trekking up the steep hill to the Creech property. Sweat making his shirt stick uncomfortably to his back and belly. Just enough of an uncomfortable memory to distract the wire tight tension building low in his core.

His mind's eye flashes to dark eyes and strong fingers. A rough hand on his, guiding him lower into the warm depths of a car. Gruff, stilted voice in his ears. Would he do it right there in his garage? Against the hood of his car?

How would he feel if Daniel was the one working him open? His brain betrays him and he pulses around his own pathetically short fingers, soft and not at all what he wishes were in him.

Daniel had big hands, and those eyes. Would he watch Jamie first? Make him beg for it, to have fingers in him that could stretch him better, fill him better.

A whine keens, shattering the silence. He bites his lip as he fights the noise that escaped against his will. Palming his dick, he humps his hand and remembers their hands together.

Would Daniel help? Put his hand over Jamie's again and dip down into slick warmth, really show him how it's done.

Stretch him with those fingers that Jamie had seen twisting bolts, had felt guiding him. Would that make Daniel smile that small, soft little thing Jamie had seen once, the one he wanted to see again to make sure it was real?

Jamie bucks off the bed, back arching and mouth open as he comes. Sparks on the edge of his vision ignite as he clenches and rides out the aftershocks. Breathing heavily as he comes back down he curls his legs up and groans.

Contentment and shame war inside him and while he feels good, looser after his orgasm, the emotions curdle inside him.

He stretches out and stares at the ceiling, grimacing as he touches a wet spot. The febreeze bottle looks on from its spot on the shelf accusingly.

Jamie’s going to have to wash the sheets.

#thank you so much #my writing #safdc #Stay Away From Daniel Creech #Other's ocs #comm examples

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thessalian · 2 years

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Thess vs Things That Aren’t Helping

The heat wave is back. Not quite as bad as it was last month, but bad enough. We’re looking at highs in the region of 32 celcius (or about 90 farenheit) for about four days, and we’ve already been edging into that territory for the last couple.

WE ARE INTO THE SECOND WEEK OF AUGUST. IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE COOLING DOWN.

Oh, and of course we’re looking at drought. Apparently nobody really wants to do a proper hosepipe ban because the government have put that in the hands of the water companies and the water companies don’t want to lose the lovely rising numbers on the water meters of the country. But we are getting some hints and tips about how to conserve water in this trying time.

I should flag up right now that absolutely none of them are appropriate for England as it currently stands.

“Use the water you boil in cooking to water your plants!” Great, except an awful lot of people are actually avoiding boiling anything right now except for maybe the kettle because of the rapidly increasing energy prices.

“Use dry shampoo!” Not everyone can, and that shit is expensive. Please recall inflation. You can buy cheap 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner for like a quid; you cannot do that with dry shampoo.

“Do less laundry! Surely if you just air out and spritz your clothes with Febreeze, it’ll be fine for another few days’ wear!” HEAT. WAVE. People are sweating like crazy. No, ‘airing it out and spritzing it a bit‘ will not be fine unless you want to cause some seriously olfactory offense.

“If it’s yellow, let it mellow!” Yes, they did actually say this as regards not flushing the toilet every time.

I’ve seen some places suggest hand-washing some of your clothes (the kind of thing you really can’t just spritz, like underwear) in the shower while you’re washing yourself and I’m just like ... how are you not actually blowing more water, unless you decide to wash the underpants you wore the night before in the shower each and every morning? Who the fuck has time for that if they’re on their way to work? Shorter showers? Again, heat wave. People are sweaty and gross and washing is required.

The worst part about all of this is that most of this water shortage is not the fault of the heat wave. It’s not helping, I agree, but things started going to shit with the water companies when ... well, when they became water companies instead of a nationalised body. But when Thatcher privatised everything, the water companies broke up the assets and ran things for profit - which meant raising prices and cutting corners. This means that we haven’t had any new reservoirs built since the fucking 80s. If we had more reservoirs, we’d have more water collected to get through times like this. Also, frankly, the pipes are shit and it takes them days if not weeks to even looking at a leak, let alone fixing it. I remember Thames Water was digging up the road where I generally pick up my bus to replace some pipes, and then it leaked again just a few months later, and then again a few months after that. There’s one spot at the end of my road - well-trafficked spot, which is used by multiple buses and which causes huge disrpution whenever it’s shut down - where there’s a broken pipe at least once a year. But the CEOs are getting huge bonuses and I guess at least the shareholders are happy.

So that’s basically the backdrop to things in this entire fucking country. We’ve got two jackasses vying for the Conservative leadership trying to outdo each other for which one’s going to screw us hardest if they come to power, and that’s a winning strategy for them because we’re not voting in this. Maybe 160k old wealthy white men, most of whom don’t even live in this country any more, are going to vote in the one who will best protect both their wealth and their delicate sensibilities about stuff like ... y’know, racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, stuff like that. Apparently people who won’t support their right to indulge in those mindsets without consequences need not apply as leaders of the country (which is a goodly part of why Sunak isn’t going to win, even if no one will ever admit it).

So nothing at all’s going to happen beyond inflation going through the roof for the next four weeks ... and then all hell’s going to break loose. And I figure the Conservatives are just smart enough to hold off on calling a general election until the Voting Bill comes into effect properly and they oblige everyone to have photo ID to vote. They’re not very forthcoming about how to apply for the Voter Card that they’re obliged to offer everyone, either. And oddly, senior rail cards and such are considered valid ID whereas student ones are not, ruling out one bit of free photo ID for the young and not for the old. And even if people can afford passports at this point, the passport office is such a mess that it can take months to get one, and that’s just renewal.

Voter suppression that no one talks about. Restriction of right to protest that no one talks about. At least one of those in the running for the Tory leadership talking about adding “people who vilify to the UK” to what is effectively the terrorist watch list. All of these make sense, I suppose, when the cost of living is going insane and all the government talks about doing is “corporate tax cuts to encourage growth” and never mind how many people are going to fucking starve.

I’m thinking of starting a pool - is this place going to kill me, arrest me, or deport me?

#Thess vs the weather #Thess vs the Tories #Thess on politics

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fiinalgiirls · 1 year

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muse: nikola ‘nik’ volkova open to: all genders setting: nik is a mean girl film student and the daughter of a mob cleaner, with an occasional soft spot for the right person. she’s attending a black metal show as a part a dare from her sorority, but she’s actually kind of digging it–not that she’d admit it. she also doesn’t have a ride home or plans after this. is your muse part of the band? a fan? there for some other reason? who knows, but let’s see what kind of trouble these two can get into. (made with beta, but can do legacy on request).

it wasn’t her normal scene. in point of fact, nik mostly considered black metal a cacophony of disorganized sounds–too chaotic and jumbled for her to enjoy it. so no, it wasn’t personal interest that had brought her to the venue, which smelled so strongly of pabst blue ribbon and stale cigarettes that her nose wrinkled as she entered. the week long game of truth or dare omega beta zeta had been playing had almost come to a head and going to a metal show was hardly the worst dare nik had ever carried out. of course, one of the girls had been insistent on accompanying her, but once the girls were inside amidst a phalanx of battle vests and studded gauntlets, teresa had been quick to bounce–citing an early morning brunch with her parents as her excuse. nik had been quick to undermine and embarrass her as she left with the silky, steeled confidence of seasoned sorority girl.

“fucking coward.” she hissed under her breath as her hard gaze followed teresa out the door. sure, she’d been nik’s ride home, but she could find her own way home or call an uber if it came down to it. perched delicately on a bar stool facing the stage with a vodka cranberry in her hand, she looked as if she’d be more at home in a sportsbar or club. scanning the crowd, she grimaced at a man putting in a pair of bright yellow ear plugs with palpable jealousy before pulling out her phone to catch one last glance of teresa slipping outside after weaving through the crowd and panning across the venue to send it to the group text. there was no way she was going to let anyone think she’d balk on something as easy as a concert. it wasn’t her bag, that was sure, but there was something different about the vibe of the concert that was more alluring than trying to parse out the melody over a blaring car stereo.

between sets, whatever the main act was (she could hardly read half of the band names on their shirts) still had yet another band before playing. as the next act set up, the bar was soon crowded with those who found their glasses empty and planned on a refill before returning to the front to co-mingle in a hulking, stinking mass of collision and enthusiasm that nik could not quite understand, nor could she bring herself turn away from. she was almost enjoying herself (not that she’d admit that to her sisters) until a black out drunk, herculean guy in a motorhead shirt swayed too close and knocked her drink into her blouse. “jesus christ, west memphis one, this is dry clean only.” her normally cool expression pulled into an annoyed sneer. “just because your ratty sleeveless shirt has never actually seen the inside of a washing machine, doesn’t mean we all rely so heavily on febreeze.” sliding off the bar stool, the heels of her boots met the concrete floor with a click. annoyed and wondering if cranberry juice could be lifted out of ivory silk, she caught the glance of the least shady looking person of the few in her eyeline. pointing to the red stain on her shirt, she rose her brows expectantly. “is there a bathroom in this place where i can clean up or does everyone here just piss in the alleyway?”

#indie rp #indie crime rp #indie bi rp #indie oc rp #this can really go anywhere we want to take it plot wise #STARTERS — open

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ineffectualdemon · 2 years

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Pros: I got the hats my grandma made me before she died

Cons: they reek of cigarettes and weed

But at least they are here and we can wash them

Also got a pretty cool bad that I'll let kiddo have, an orangutan plush that also reek (I have febreezed the shit out if them) and some umbrella academy graphic novels and a ton of gel pens for some reason

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chonkychornes · 3 years

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Stay Part One

You’ve been a secret for so long, it’s hard to remember who you are.

Dark Steve

Reader Insert

Bucky Barnes

The beeping of the phone alarm startles you even though you’ve been waiting for it. The giant form next to you that’s been in a light sleep for the past 20 minutes stirs and finally turns off the alarm. He doesn’t reach for you though, no, he climbs out of your bed and heads directly to the bathroom. There he’ll take a shower to wash off the past week, the mission, and you.

You’re used to it, but it doesn’t hurt any less. It doesn’t hurt any less when he gives you a rueful smile and kiss on the cheek and says “See ya next time” or that he wishes he could stay. The latter is a lie. He never stays, doesn’t want to. He wants to get home to her now that his brain is clear.

The truth is, you’re just a pit stop; a therapeutic device he says he needs. But you need it too; need him and his body. You want more but you stopped asking a long time ago. Soft-spoken promises turned into maybe’s. When the maybe’s turned into flat-out no’s and this new routine, you stopped asking. You knew what you were.

A secret, a doormat, a placeholder, a yes-person to his every request; while all of yours are denied. That’s not to say that the pleasure isn’t immeasurable and there isn’t the thrill involved, but they don’t do it for you like they used to.

As you hear the shower turn off, you grab his discarded shirt and throw it on before pulling out the clean change of clothes you have for him. All a part of the routine you two have found yourselves in; the routine he put you in. You place them on the bed and go make a cup of tea. He’ll be dressed in two minutes and gone in five, and somehow, even though you know how wrong it is, a little piece of you dies every single time he walks out the door.

“Will you wash-”

“You know I will,” you remind him when he begins to ask about his dirty uniform and clothes that he dumped unceremoniously in your entry hall. “Don’t I always?”

“Don’t be like that,” he says as he wraps his arms around your waist and nuzzles your neck. “It won’t be like this forever.”

This isn’t part of the routine and now you’re scared and confused, “What do you mean?”

“Nat’s coming back soon, so we’re going to have to … ya know.”

And just like that, it’s over. Not quite, of course. It’ll take time, but as soon as she’s cleared for duty and feels mentally ready, she’ll return and he won’t run to your door after every mission.

“How long?” You need a timeline, to be able to wean yourself. “You owe me that, at least.”

“I’m not sure, but we have time, baby.” He kisses your cheek and the butterflies in your stomach aren’t from his touch but from his words. He doesn’t understand what he’s doing to you and your heart. You shake your head as his phone rings and he answers in front of you, like always.

“Hey babe, yeah I just got out of the shower. I’m headed home now. See you soon. I love you.”

You’ve always wondered how she doesn’t know. Maybe it’s blissful ignorance or the fact she came back different from Vormir; maybe she knows and chooses not to acknowledge it. Either way, you’re disgusted with yourself again. You’re just the patsy, the easy mark.

He moves toward the door but you don’t follow him this time; it’s time to change the routine.

“See you tomorrow at the debriefing,” he offers a champion’s smile but it’s hard to return.

“See you tomorrow, Steve,” he shuts the door behind him and you leave the cup of tea on the counter to cool and head straight to the bed.

Stripping the sheets and pillowcases has never felt more cathartic and you wonder why you ever allowed yourself to wallow in dirty sheets for months before this. Digging around under the bathroom sink you find the bottle of Febreeze and douse the bed; no more of his smell to distract you. Everything goes into the wash including his dirty clothes and the shirt you’re wearing.

Naked, you make your bed with the sheets he hates; black and white marble that he said was too busy and gave him a headache. When the job is done you drink your tea and take a bath to wash him away. While soaking you think of anything else in your quarters that is from him or reminds you of him. Mental list sorted, you finish up and dress in your own clothes. You collect those objects; trinkets that were intended as gifts for her or things that you bought for him that he never took. Into the trash they go and you slide into bed feeling lighter but still sad.

No more late-night wishes for him to stay. No more light knocks on your door. No more, no more, no more.

Steve Rogers is banned from your personal life, whether he likes it or not.

#Bucky Barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #MCU #Steve Rogers #steve rogers fanfiction #dark steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #marvel #marvel fic

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neptuneofthesky · 3 years

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MCYT Incorrect Quotes

Featuring | Dream, Gerogenotfound, Sapnap, Badboyhalo, Skeppy, Karl Jacobs, Quackity, Philza Minecraft, Technoblade, Wilbur Soot, Tommyinnit, Tubbo, Ranboo, Michael, The Egg, Red vines

Next Part

Skeppy: I'm sad

Bad: (puts an arm around him) hey, it's ok, I'm here for you

Dream: George, I'm sad

George: mood

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Dream: I'm good at hiding my crush

George: hey guys I'm back

Dream: I-i have to gay- I mean GO-

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Dream: I love sunglasses

Dream: am I looking at that tree? am I looking at George's ass?

Dream: you'll never be able to tell

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Skeppy: *admiring bad* he is so cool, he could hit me with a car and I'd thank him

Techno: we'd thank him too

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Wilbur: you know when I first met you I thought u were a real bitch

Tommy: so, what changed?

Wilbur: I still think you are a real bitch, I've just grown to like that about you

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Dream walks into Sapnap's room

Sapnap: hello Dream I hope you are well

Sapnap: so you may be wondering why I am glued to the ceiling

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George: crushes are the worst

Dream: yeah, whenever I'm near someone I have a crush on, I start acting stupid

George: you are always acting stupid

Dream: yeah, don't think about that too hard

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George: I fell-

Dream: from heaven?

George: no, I actually fell-

Dream: in love with me the moment you saw me?

George: MY ARM IS BROKEN

Dream: ok but do you think I'm pretty? be honest

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Tommy: is the pink panther a lion?

Techno: ........ say that again but slower

Tommy:

Tommy: I don't get it

Wilbur: he's the PINK PANTHER

Tommy: okay?? But is he a lion?

Philza: Tommy, he's a panther

Tommy :

Tommy: is that a kind of lion?

Wilbur: no, its a PANTHER

Tommy: I just googled it, they're not pink tho

Techno: AND LIONS ARE?

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Tommy: yesterday I yote my water bottle down the stairs and almost hit Tubbo

Wilbur: I- did you just use yeet in the past sense?

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Tubbo: wanna hang out tomorrow?

Tommy: can't I have a doctors appointment

Tubbo: say you're sick or something and just cancel

Tommy: ......

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Philza: can I speak to you for a minute?

Tommy: oooooh someone is in trouble!

Philza:

Tommy: it's me I down know why I did that

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Bad: why is Karl laying on the ground screaming into a pillow?

Quackity: oh, he's been like that for a few minutes.

Bad: but, why?

Quackity: Sapnap giggled at his joke.

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Dream: love is in the air

George: *spraying a can of Febreeze and holding his shirt over his nose* not anymore.

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Philza: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?

Techno: *yelling* hey Tommy! how tall are you?

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Techno, talking on the phone: Phil, I have good news and bad news

Philza: just give me the good news

Techno: the smoke alarm is functioning perfectly

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Skeppy: who do you think is hotter, me or the sun?

Bad: the sun

Skeppy: okay, let me rephrase it. who do you think is hotter, me, your amazingly adorable best friend who loves you very much, or the sun?

Bad: the sun

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Quackity: I have an idea!

Karl: no bullying Bad today

Quackity: I no longer have an idea

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Wilbur: is the past tense yeet or yeeted??

Techno: yeet is the present tense, but yote could be the past tense too!

Philza: I just want to know who threw Tommy out of the window

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Bad: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!

Bad: *aggressively throws water bottles at everyone*

Geroge: uh...

Dream: he's trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us

Bad: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU

Sapnap: *crying* it's working

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George: I hate you with every inch of my body

Sapnap: That's not a lot of inches

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Bad: I don't know if they'll notice, but I slipped a little note in each of my friend's bad to let them know that I love them

Skeppy, pulling out a twenty-five-page note: what the fuck-

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Dream: I don't know. I just feel like we are destined to be together. I mean, look at how fate keeps throwing us together!

George: it's three am and you're stuck in the middle of my window. how did you even get here?

Dream: I just told you. fate.

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Philza: Tommy, I know you three toilet papered my garden

Wilbur: *whispers* play dumb!

Tommy: who's Tommy?

Techno: *whispers* not that dumb!

----

Bad: tell us a secret, Dream.

Dream: uh, okay! I have a crush on George!

Sapnap: no, dream, he said secret.

----

Wilbur: Tommy is in the pool and I don't think he is waterproof

Philza: what

Techno: I think he means Tommy is drowning

Philza: oh okay

Philza:

Philza: WAIT WHAT

----

Quackity: can I get a strawberry milkshake with two straws, please?

Karl, thinking: aw, that's cute... he wants to share his milkshake with me

[later]

Quackity, putting both straws in his mouth: hey, watch how fast I can drink this

----

Quackity: I- I think I saw a monster

Tubbo, terrified: w-where?

Quackity, pointing at the door: THERE

Tubbo: SLENDERMAN!!

Ranboo, opening the lights: shut up, it's just me

[This one is because Tubbo and Quackity are one of the shortest ;) ]

----

Philza: who broke the flower pots?

Techno: it was Tommy

Wilbur: it was Tommy

Tommy: it was Tommy

Philza:

Tommy: dammit

----

Policeman: so, what's your name?

Tubbo: don't tell him, Tommy

Policeman writes down: okay, Tommy

Tommy: dammit Tubbo

----

George: Interrupt my sleeping and I will interrupt your breathing :)

----

Sapnap: hey, is anyone else d-

Tommy: dead?

Wilbur: depressed?

Dream: drained?

Techno: deprived of sleep?

Sapnap: ...done with your work? What is wrong with you people?

----

Karl: hey, how much money do you have?

Quackity: uh.. 69 cents

Karl: ayy, you know what that means!!

Quackity: *choking up* I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets.

----

Ranboo: *exists*

Tommy: you got a problem mate?

Tommy: I mean, you are so tall, you must got a problem

Ranboo: I'm just sitting here

Tommy: WAS UP

Ranboo: a-are you trying to fight me?

Tommy: WAS UP

----

Tommy: why don't women have to take the DNA test to see if the child is their's

----

Michael: papa, there's a monster under my bed!

Ranboo, tucking him in: Don't worry bud. There are no monsters in this house.

Michel: can you check, please?

Ranboo: alright.

Ranboo: *kneels down to check*

Techno: subscribe to Technoblade

Ranboo: *startled* WHAT THE-

(Credits to @/your.gehenna on Instagram)

----

George: I think Dream was right.

Sapnap: I'm surprised he hadn't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'

Geroge: he wouldn't do that.

Dream: you're right, George. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.

Dream: *turns around, the shirt he is wearing says 'Dream Told You So' on the back*

----

Sapnap: You lying, cheating piece of shit!

Dream: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Dream: I'm leaving you and I'M TAKING GEORGE WITH ME

Bad, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're gonna stop playing now

----

Quackity: why are Bad and skeppy sitting with their backs to each other?

Karl: they had a fight.

Quackity: then why are they holding hands?

Karl: they get sad when they fight

----

Ranboo:*serenading* with you, 60 minutes feel like an hour

Tubbo:*almost in tears*

Tommy: what the fuck

----

The Egg: I just ended a four-year relationship.

Red Vines: oh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?

The Egg: hm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. It wasn't my relationship.

*Bad and Skeppy fighting from across the room*

----

41 notes · View notes

steve0discusses · 3 years

Text

S5 Ep10: Kaiba Embarrasses Himself on International Television Again

We start off this duel by teasing us into believing that this is a part of a theme park:

The Kaiba theme park is a weird mix of actual horrorscapes and animal crossing cutesy stuff...you can really tell what parts were Mokuba and what parts were Seto in this park.

But Leon takes it well, just kinda standing there as he’s done this entire arc--being a general forgettable nice boy who just...doesn’t do anything. Like he gets up, he plays cards, he sits down. Having him on top of a rock with melodramatic Little Mermaid waves crashing at his feet is laughably the opposite of Leon’s whole vibe.

Leon just seems like the type that listens to coffee shop ambient Youtube videos when he wants to amp himself up. This kid appears to attend a private school...somewhere...I think, and just went to a dueling competition in his school outfit because he literally doesn’t have a style of his own hanging in his closet.

Like Yugi wears his school outfit, but he does that ironically, to off-set the amount of makeup and hair spray he has in his hair. Leon wears the school outfit maybe because he admires Yugi so much, but is like “time for my rogue bow I wear in my hair. That’ll scare my competition.” He completely missed the point of the 00′s alt school outfit scene.

I do way too much art to not see the imagery. I feel like this is half my job, and playing “where’s the hidden Freudian meaning?” is half the fun of going to any art museum.

(read more under the cut)

Anyway, Seto got tired of no one paying any attention to him, so he stepped out of his 14-monitor mancave, he very quickly pulled his Dragon outfit out of the (dirty) laundry, flicked a couple sea crabs out of his pockets, spritzed it with Febreeze and called it “good enough.”

Like, is it just me, or has dragon jacket greyed out a tad from last season? Like it’s starting to get a little...worn? Like what funk is coming off of Seto Kaiba right now?

Also notice that he brought his giant stash of cards to the duel. He’s going to put on this show as if he’s not going to pull out the giant stash of cards. But like...he’s going to pull out the giant stash of cards. Like Hell boring ass Leon is going to play his deck of Candyland characters again.

Leon is declared a winner on Technicality and it’s like.

Damn Seto, for reals?

So congrats, Leon, you did literally nothing, again, and yet you mystifyingly persist on this show. Clearly you aren‘t going to grow a second head out of that ponytail like professor Quirrel in the last act of this arc.

That’s when Yugi’s hazy memory recalls something from the Before Times of “that time period before I was possessed by a needy ghost that eats up 3/4 of my memories and time.”

So Schroeder is Atari. Neat.

Also, this makes Zigfrieds outfits a hell ton more endearing when you realize he’s this Willy Wonka game company owner making toys for children. Kinda makes you wonder why Seto’s such a stick up the ass in comparison when it’s like--dude Kaiba, maybe you could learn a thing or two about whimsy. It could really help out your inconsistent park.

Anyway, Kaiba quickly realized who hacked the park and so, understandably, he asked Zigried to leave, which...backfired?

Y’all card culture is a lot. Everyone in the audience covered their faces in shame because they were so embarrassed by Seto Kaiba and I’m like...not sure why? Because he didn’t do a duel? Against this guy who snuck into his tourney not unlike Rex and Weevil? This asshole?

Recall that the last time Seto played a guy who had a fake name it was Marik freakin Ishtar and he killed a LOT of people (actually, it was Alister, pretending to be Pegasus, but he also killed a lot of people so that still tracks). Card culture can’t seem to learn from their mistakes, although Seto clearly sees the problem with dueling a professional hacker in a digital card game on a hologram that may or may not be able to murder you. At least its not a magic.

And so, tired of being humiliated on television, Seto decides to bust out the dueling gloves (well, not those gloves. You know what I meant) and use the equipment he BROUGHT WITH HIM and clearly never intended not to use in the first place.

(I hope you enjoy this dutch angle that wasn’t quite dutch enough, so it just looks like they’re lounging)

Roland patiently walks over from...somewhere? I don’t know where Roland comes from whenever he pops up, but he waltzed over to hold onto this suitcase as if that’s a formal part of his job.

I say this so often but like...I don’t know what Roland’s job is. He’s like a valet/butler/duel referee/duel cheerleader/CEO/and I will spend the rest of this series trying to understand it. Part of me is like...could Roland be a temp worker at an agency who just gets rehired for a different Kaiba Corp job every couple of weeks?

That weird ass fourthKaiba, I will never understand Roland.

Just one letter away from being a Zigfriend, Kaiba. Just one letter away. I know this because I misspell friend a LOT.

Zigfreind? Zigfriend? Damn it, both of them look the freakin same to me, this sucks! Why can’t I spell friend without autocorrect!?

Just the amount these two fight when Seto clearly barely even remembers who this guy even is.

Leon shows up in the seats, pretending that he’s totally cool about winning on a technicality right after Zigfried went on a rant about how shameful, irredeemable, and mortally embarrassing winning on technicalities are.

He seems to take it pretty well, smiling, sitting next to Rebecca, and then dissolving right into the background because this kid’s whole deal is being way too nice to exist on this show.

Y’all we just had that art meme where people were redrawing that “How to draw manga face” and guys...that’s what our anime used to look like.

I mean look at that uncomfortable chin there, that tapers in for some reason. Those eyes melting off of her face. The lack of any 3d sense. This was an anime ideal for a very, very long time.

Anyway, the “how to draw manga face” is a perfect masterpiece and never needs to change. (But it is fun to make fun of it although I guess the person that drew it was actually a kid, which makes sense from a publishing perspective to have a kid make a book about how to draw stuff for kids.)

We see a little flashback of Schroeder and why he hates Seto Kaiba, and can I just say, I kind of love this little outfit. Kind of a shame that it’s stuffed into a flashback.

Which is when we found out that Zigfried thinks Seto Kaiba did a plagiarism.

Which is hilarious because it was Gozaburo Kaiba who was plagiarizing Seto, so like...who did it first?

OK guys. Lets talk about this.

APPARENTLY, there was some sort of contest to work with Pegasus...kind of like an architecture contest (which is a thing, when a city is doing a big project, they send out a call, and big firms will compete to see who builds it) and I GOTTA know what Pegasus’ theme was.

Like did he say to all the little rich kid geniuses “I would like something that makes my cards ALIVE, can you do that?” Then when Pegasus got a hell ton of holograms and was he like “But ALIVE--it makes it alive, right boy?” And when he was shaking the hands of each stupid kid was he like “So if I hypothetically put my dead wife on a card and slapped it into the machine--could she EXIST. Like...enough? I just need her to legally exist is all, and not like..literally of course...but enough literally to be a sin against God, can you do that?”

I just want to know if Willy Wonka Wonderkid Von Schroeder had any idea he was creating a resurrection chamber for a dark wizard. Like he has no idea that he dodged getting his business bought straight from under him and his soul shoved into a card. And it’s not like Schroeder was going to abduct Yugi’s Grandpa and ensure that Yugi would be there to save him down the road. Like I’m pretty sure Schroeder would have been sacrificed waaay before that whole island contest even went down.

Zigfried got so freakin lucky. I can’t believe he’s mad. But then again...

...the man swims in milk pools so like...maybe his logic center is busted? Maybe he wanted to die in a horrific murder island? I don't know what Zigfried is into, but I do know that because Zigfried doesn’t have millennium rod powers linking him to the millennium eye--so would it have mattered? There’s destiny reasons that Pegasus chose Kaiba.

Course...we never found out where the scales ended up, have we? We think it’s Shadi, but have we seen Shadi bust those out since Season Zero?

Man that would be a good plot twist that will absolutely not happen.

Yo, make horse guy into a dark wizard, show, I dare you!

Anyway, that’s all for now, but if you want to read from the beginning, here’s the link:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

#ygo #yugioh #yu gi oh #S5 #Ep10 #Seto Kaiba #Yugi muto #Duke Devlin #Tristan Taylor #Tea Gardner #Mokuba Kaiba #zigfried von schroeder #leon

55 notes · View notes

httpbread · 4 years

Note

I love your writing so much! Ahhh I’m new to the fandom and binged everything, but anyway ANGST TIME! Kindly requesting Hanako comforting reader who’s crying their eyes out and needs some tender love and care

Pairing: Hanako x reader

Words: 1743

thank you!! sorry it’s been taking me so long to work through requests ;; i will get to them! just been dealing with a bit of writer’s block and my own folly

---

When Hanako enters the third-floor girl’s bathroom after an errand he expected the same old boring quiet bathroom.

He expected the sunshine shining brightly through the window, staining the room too many colors to even put into words. The stalls empty. The room filled with peace and cheap smelling febreeze, just the way he left it.

He was not expecting the sound of the sink running, or (Y/n) hovering over it, looking up as he held the door open, their face a rosy mess of tears, snot, and despair, letting out a harsh hiccup.

Silence found them, Hanako unable to even speak and (Y/n) looking too choked up to.

He’d never seen them cry before, and he sure as hell had never seen them look like they’d had three breakdowns in a row.

“(Y/n)...? Are you okay?” He reaches up to rub the back of his neck. He’s not sure how to deal with this.

(Y/n) was always so bright and smiley. Seeing them so... emotional, all of the sudden... it was jarring.

Not to mention his lack of experience with tears.

“Y-Yeah,” they sniffle harshly, reaching forward and twisting the sink off. They then turn to him, plastering a big smile on their lips, “Never better!”

Their words greatly contrast with the way their big (e/c) puffy eyes water.

He frowns at this.

“(Y/n)...”

Only to watch as their lower lip trembles.

Before they’re promptly ducking down, burying their face in a tangle of their thrown up arms, making Hanako jolt straight as a board when they wail, the raw distraught in their voice shaking him right up, “No! I’m not okay!”

He hastily moves forward, their panic infecting him, “Hey! Hey! Easy!”

He lifts his hands, despite his nervousness, reaching for them, though not quite sure what he’s going to do. All he knows is he wants them to stop crying!

“No! Not easy!” They blubber, hunching over a little more, like they’re trying to disappear, “I’m going to fail! I’m never going to college! A-and then- this class- I-“

“Slow down!” He pleads, relenting to set his hands on their shoulders, “(Y/n), you’re freaking out-“

“Of course I am!” They untangle from their arms, brushing off his hands to look up at him, face full of wide-eyed woebegone, “My life is falling apart, Hanako- a-and I don’t know what to do- and-“

Silence fills the bathroom.

In Hanako’s defense, he didn’t know how else to get them to stop talking.

“One step at a time, (Y/n),” he tells them, keeping his voice gentle, “I don’t know what’s got you all riled up, but let’s shove all that aside right now, okay?”

Their tears are seeping down onto his hand, the one he has over their mouth, which they hum into miserably.

“Focus, (Y/n),” he mumbles, promptly removing his hand, “Just work on calming down right now. The world can wait.”

But as they go to protest- and he knows they are, judging by the frantic look that finds their eyes- he only pulls them to his chest, burying their messy face in his uniform.

They let out a muffled whimper, cursing him, but Hanako only holds them tighter, praying it’ll help somehow.

“Nuh-uh,” he chides lightly, to hide his unsureness, “You’re not getting out of this hug until you stop crying.”

He blinks, running his fingers through their (h/l) (h/c) locks.

There are definitely more pressing worries, but he can’t help but gawk at how soft their hair is.

Indulging, he continues to stroke his fingers through their silky strands, keeping his other arm wrapped firmly around them.

Their arms hung limp at their side, as they leaned reluctantly into him, now burying their face into his chest by choice.

He smiles a little.

Even when they were so wound up, they were such a cute little thing.

Hanako isn’t sure how long they stand there, him squeezing them tight in his arms, but eventually, they lift their head.

“I’m not crying anymore...”

“Really?” He comments, hoping a tease would get them out of their rough, “You look like a mess.”

Their lower lip trembles.

“W-Wait! No! It’s a good look!” He hastily amends.

But they’re shoving him away, “You’re a jerk, Hanako-kun.”

He’s moving right back with them, though, lifting a hand to cup their cheek.

“Maybe, but you’re still burning up...” he mumbles, brows drawing as he moves his hand to their forehead, “Come on.”

He makes his way back over the sink they’d been at when he first walked in, turning the tap on.

“I- uhm. I think I might just...” he hears them sigh as he gathers a handful of paper towels, pulling them out one by one to wad them in a big ball, “I want to go home...”

It wasn’t like them to skip class like this. It only served to worry Hanako further.

“Ah, well, life isn’t fair,” he covers up his concern with a sing-song tone, “Now, take a seat, (Y/n).”

“Huh?” Their brows knit, looking up at him.

He gestures to the sink next to the one he had running, “Sit.”

They scratch their head.

He amends, “I’m not asking.”

This makes them let out another heavy sigh.

“You’re so mean...” they grumble, making their way over, “Why couldn’t I have run into Ne-chan instead?”

“What? You don’t think I make a handsome caregiver?” He smirks, wetting the wad of paper towels under the running sink as they do as asked.

“No. I think you’re a jerk,” they argue, voice still a little scratchy, “You suck at this.”

At their petulance, he promptly shoved the icy paper towel wad against their forehead.

They squeak, immediately pressing back against the mirror behind them, away from his help.

“Case in point!” They declare with a big frown.

Hanako only snickers, dropping a hand on the sink they sit on as he leans forward over them, reaching their face with ease, “Just relax, won’t you?”

This time, he very gently pressed the wet wad of towels against their face.

It scrunches their nose up for only a second, but as he slowly brushed it across their burning forehead, their lashes sink down against their cheeks.

He swallows his nerves, trailing the paper towel ball down their left temple to run it over their cheek.

As he runs the wad across the bride of their cheek to their nose, over to the other side of their face, they let out a soft breath, only slightly shaky.

“Does that feel better?” He mumbles to them, delicately brushing their other cheek with the cold water too.

They swallow before responding quietly, “Yeah...”

He runs it up to their right temple before back across their forehead, which he delighted to find has cooled significantly.

As he goes to ask if that was good enough, they speak.

“I bombed the chapter test in math.”

He pulls the makeshift rag away to blink at them.

They look up at him, and he swears it’s like looking at a kicked puppy, the way their sad (e/c) eyes shine at him.

“I got a thirty-three on it, Hanako-kun,” they tell him, lower lip pouting, “A thirty-three.”

“The one we studied for...?” He utters.

They nod, looking down.

“W-Well... we studied for the wrong one...”

He tries to repress the smile that threatens his lips. He couldn’t laugh. It wasn’t funny to (Y/n) right now. They were too troubled to laugh.

“I’m sorry, (N/n)-chan, but it’s going to be okay,” he sets the wad of wet paper towels down on the other as he reassures them, “One test isn’t the end of the world, y’know?”

“But what if it is?” They whisper hastily, “It’s the butterfly effect, Hanako! I failed this test, I’ll fail math class next, and then I’ll drop out, and-“

“- and all of that is the biggest lie I’ve heard all week,” he takes his place back before them, drawing their smaller hands into his own.

They look down at him, still miserable as can be.

“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, (Y/n),” he offers her a soft smile, “You’re always giving your best to everything you do. You’re trying so much.”

“Yeah, and I failed,” they remind him, brows pulling together.

“But you tried,” he counters, “That’s all that matters.”

“No, it’s not,” they argue, trying to pull their hands away to, most definitely, gesture at him exasperatedly, “Hanako, I’m going to fail math. There are so many other things that matter!”

He only squeezes their hands, holding them snugger, “Even if you do fail math, it’ll be okay. You’ll brush all this off in no time!”

They stare at him like he’s grown three heads.

He leans forward, nearly brushing noses with them as he smiles.

“C’mon. Lighten up,” he pleads, “I promise you this stupid math class won’t last forever. You’ll be done with it before you can blink.”

He then adds, trying to wrangle a smile out of them, “You’ll be able to forget all these dumb equations in just a couple months. They’ll never hurt you again.”

Hanako’s hands slip out of theirs, bringing them up to cup their face in his as he closes his eyes, pulling their forehead against his.

They don’t respond, but he feels them lean back against them.

Before their arms slowly snake around his neck, pulling him a little closer.

He can’t help his smile.

“You really think so...?”

He blinks his eyes back open to meet their pleading eyes.

Hanako warmly brushes his thumb across their cheek.

“I know so.”

He then tells them firmly.

“Because we’re going to crush your next test!” He declares, pulling away to throw his fists in the air, “Even if I have to get that rotten Teru himself to come mentor you!”

(Y/n) looks up at him owlishly at his words.

Before...

A small grin cracks, breaking out across their lovely lips.

“I’m not getting my hopes up.”

Hanako smirks, sticking his tongue out at them.

“Well, we’ll make sure you at least get higher than a thirty-three this time.”

Instantly, their face lights up with offense.

“Hanako-kun!”

But getting whacked upside the head is more than worth it though, listening to the return of their ever-bright laughter filling the restroom again, easily melting away all his concerns and his heart in the process.

#hanako x reader #tbhk #tbhk x reader #toilet bound hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun x reader #jibaku shounen hanako kun #jibaku shounen hanako kun x reader #jshk #jshk x reader #amane yugi x reader #breadkinswrites

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in-my-clown-era · 4 years

Text

MIKE HANLON HEADCANNONS I STAND BY

- Mike needed headcannons and I’m here to deliver

- can i just start off by saying i love him???

- because i do

- mr. chips??

- not dead

- i refuse to allow his dog to die

- he fucking l o v e s peeps

- like the marshmallow chicks and bunnies

- the yellow are his favorite, just because he likes the color

- wanted to be a hockey player when he grew up

- he also at one point wanted to be a lawyer

- didn’t do either because

- a) you get hurt a lot in hockey and b) he really didn’t want to get in a fight

- gentle giant

- being a lawyer took a lot of time and money

- figures that since he was homeschooled no good colleges would take him

- it makes me sad because he deserves the world 🥺

- favorite kinds of movies??

- honestly he loves feel-good wholesome movies like Cheaper By The Dozen

- he just loves it so much and feels so bad for Beans

- he likes happy endings

- you know what he doesn’t like??

- Bill’s mother fucking book endings

- will lie and say he likes how realistic they are

- definitely critiques them

- he did make friends over the years in Derry

- it wasn’t the same though

- never had the bond the losers club had

- however he always supported the losers even if they didn’t know he existed

- well the ones that were famous, he didn’t know what Stan and Eddie were really doing

- watched all of Richie’s recorded shows

- Bev’s fashion shows?? He made sure he was posted on that

- Ben’s new buildings? Kept up on that, thinking about the clubhouse

- read each of Bill’s books, still hated the endings yet supported him nonetheless

- honestly he just loves his friends and would do anything for them

- when the others were like

- the ritual didn’t work the first time???

- would—would it be here right n o w if it worked??? I-you fuckers are idiots

- if the ritual worked the first time none of us would be here!!!

- he loves The Secret Life of Bees

- one time mentioned this to Bill and Richie was like you mean the bee movie??? Oh hell yea, preach

- he kept trying to convince Richie it, in fact, was n o t the bee movie

- his efforts did nothing

- he’s super strong, like physically

- have you s e e n his muscles???

- Ben 🤝 Mike

Big brain hotties w/ muscles

- he loves art, like he sucks at it, but he adores it

- pop art is his favorite, loves the overall ~aesthetic~

- loves Chuck Close

- also adores Elizabeth Catlett and her artwork

- when I say he likes art he really does

- after Derry he started to travel

- first stop??? Florida

- didn’t stay tied down

-he was there for a few months then just kept traveling

- he had a lot of money saved up for it

- keeps in touch with the losers, they have a groupchat

- is the dad of the group

- chill dad tho

- “i’d rather you do it in the house” me, Mike Hanlon and John Mulaney

- has met up with each loser at some point

- guess what???

- Stan and Eddie are not dead in this either because i refuse to allow it

- Richie has taught him about TikTok

- Mike likes to have fun!!

- wow, crazy, who would’ve known????

- im saying this because he is a little chaotic and Richie is the god of chaos

- what i mean is that they learned how to throw it back

- Richie hurt himself doing it the first few times but got it after a while

- Mike got it like that, he hates doing it tho

- Richie fucking loves doing it and the face Mike makes whenever one of them does it cracks him up

- i just love Richie and Mike friendship a lot okay 👉👈🥺

- also Ben and Mike friendship??? That’s the good kush

- honestly Ben trying to get the others to calm tf down so Mike could explain made me so damn happy

- I love all the losers friendship dynamics and was sad that they split up in the movie

- i wanted more Mike and others content

- but we only got 26 minutes of Mike content throughout the movie so like

- legit made me upset though

- so we talked about Richie and Mike friendship, we talked about Mike and Ben friendship

- what next???

- obviously the lack of dynamic in the movie of Eddie and Mike so here we go

- Eddie hated being alone as kids, so whenever Richie couldn’t hang out he was with Mike

- just because he was great company

- Mike helped Eddie be a bit calmer and Eddie kinda taught Mike that being a little selfish wasn’t always so bad

- Eddie helping at the farm??? Yea

- he didn’t help with the animals—gross

- he liked helping with watering the crops tho

- not digging or anything like that, just the watering

- “eddie no—you can’t spray febreeze in here”

- “it smells like a fucking barn!!”

- “well yeah, we’re in a barn”

- “doesn’t mean it has to smell like one”

- Mike and Stan go bird watching

- he loves hearing how passionate Stan is about it, Mike just loves people’s passions

- honestly has learned a lot about birds from Stan

- mom and dad of the group aka the somewhat most put together

- the rest of them are heathens that can’t be controlled (except Ben, he’s calm)

- Mike = cool mom

- Stan = dome with everything dad

- brings snacks on trips just in case (everyone knows Richie has a fast metabolism so he need food)

- Bev and Mike joke around a lot

- Mike’s a chatter box, not like Richie but when he gets going there’s no stopping him

- Mike has never and will never smoke

- d r i n k i n g on the other hand

- Bev and Mike would sneak out and get booze because they looked the oldest

- 10/10 could get away with no ID and a little flirting

- Bill and Mike have like that best friend dynamic

- they talk a lot

- actually they talk the most, Mike talks to the others a lot but it’s usually Bill

- honestly idk what to put

- Ben and Mike are book nerds and I love it

- I know I kinda talked about them already but I really do enjoy them

- Richie feels the need to remind them that they’re nerds

- even though they always remind him about his straight As all throughout school

- he claims to be a smart dumbass

- loves any kind of music really

- Paul Anka?? Yee yee

- country?...yeah

- loves new music too

- he doesn’t complain about “this generations music” because he genuinely likes a lot of it

- more of a country listener but definitely likes pop too

- there is one person he doesn’t like in the somewhat popular community

- and you might hate me for it

- but it’s Billie Eilish

- not because he doesn’t like her it’s just he can’t tell what she’s saying

- so like he’s in a neutral to eh zone with her

- but definitely respects her

- it’s probably because he’s 40 and shit tho

- i might add to this later just in case I think of anythin else but yeah

- i might be making headcannons for each losers member but I really really like Richie and Mike

#mike hanlon #mike hanlon headcanons #richie tozier #richie tozier headcanons #stan uris #stan uris headcanons #eddie kaspbrak #eddie kaspbrak headcannons #bev marsh #beverly marsh headcanons #ben hanscom #ben hanscom headcanons #bill denbrough #bill denbrough headcanons #losers club #it chapter one #it chapter two #it 2017 #it 2019

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spoonfullasugaaa · 4 years

Text

Today was successful. I drove to whale daddy’s crib Upstate. I rolled 2 dutches for the drive and brought febreeze vent clips since he always insists on carrying my bags from the car into the house. We usually go out to dinner at the only 5 star restaurant in town or we cook together. Today, I get there at 4 and he has a full spread for me! Tuna steaks, a salad he made from his garden, and home made sweet potatoes he made in the airfryer. Also lots of fancy foreign cheese lol.

I was like this is super nice, but aren’t you ready to fuck??? He said he wanted to wait so I was like whatever. He usually tries to fuck me as soon as I get there, but maybe ya boy has learned something. (Doubt it.) So we eat, chat, I tell him about my life and school (I spew the usual lies lmao.) He apple pays me for the stay, gas, and a lil extra. But he always does this.

At this point I’m ready to get the deed done with. Nope! My boy wants to go ride ATVs on his property (like 100 acres). I’m like ughhh okay let’s go ride. So we do that for probably a half mile and then he asks me for a bj which i promptly oblige because that’s what the fuck im here for and that’s how you be a good sb bitch ur here to please!!!! He’s thrilled with the ATV blowjob. He says it’s a first. (Rich people love firsts.) It’s all he talks about for the next 40 minutes.

We ride back to the house, and now he’s ready to do it so we do. It takes about 30 minutes total. Whale daddy is fucking awful in bed but he spends a while going down on me so I don’t mind. It’s now 6:00 lmao. He’s like hey go shower and chill meet you in the theater in an hour for a movie, chocolates, and tea. I’m like cool lmao.

NOW! He put me in his upstairs suite where I have my own bathroom and living room. WHEN I TELL YOU IT IS HOT AS FUCK UP HERE!? (87 degrees F) Like i’m cooking as i type this. I usually stay in the basement suite where he takes his concubines, but apparently I’m a bit more “special” now so I get to stay upstairs??? Which I don’t get because i have a sitting area in my suite down there AND my own bathroom as well??? lmao puhleeeeze im like put me back in the hoe house ! But i digress.

So I shower, open all the drawers and closets, start touching shit because i know his ex gf used to live here and I was never allowed to come upstairs because this was “her suite.” Whatever, she didn’t leave shit worthwhile behind other than some Laura Mercier skincare items that I will be taking to go lmao.

Anyway, I go downstairs around 6:45, make some tea and take some snaps. He comes out at 7, we grab some snacks and head to the theater where I suggest we watch Kill Bill. He searches through 10000 films and then proceeds to finally get his dusty ass up to get the kill bill dvd. *eye rolls.* Dusty ass. So i watch it while he half falls asleep, and by the time the movie ends it’s about 9:30. He was so thirsty to go to bed at this point he went straight upstairs after the film and told me to do whatever i wanted lmao. I touched more stuff, drank tea out of his versace and took snaps all over the house like a thot. (No cameras inside.)

So now I’m ready for bed, I crack my bottle of wine open (he hates smoking and drinking lmao) and make my way toward the bedroom. Yall it is 82 fucking degrees in this bitch!!! STILL!! I’m sweating my ass off so bad guys its nuts !!! I turned on the AC and that shit is blowing hot air out!!! What a life. I’m leaving early in the morning. Sick of this shit lmao.

#spoonfull #typical day in the life of me and whale daddy #he loves our routine #personal #Sugar Bowl

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

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“I’ve got my fuzzy socks on and I’m ready for summer”

You arrive in New York at 10 AM. What's the first thing you do? Find a nice, cute cafe to get a coffee and pastry from and chill at for a bit while sorting out my plans for the day. You go by your locker & your bf/gf is cheating on you. What comes to mind? I’m not in school anymore, but hypothetically I’m sure I would feel a lot of emotions--angry, hurt, upset, confused... like wtf?? And damn, right in front of everyone, too? That would be humiliating.

You have to take out the trash & clean your room. Your reaction? I’m 31 years old, you gotta do that kinda stuff when you’re adult. I don’t personally take out the trash because it would be really difficult for me to do in a wheelchair, but I have other stuff I have to do. I don’t particularly enjoy it, it just is what it is.

How many siblings do you have? I have two brothers.

Have you ever made fun of a homeless/ mentally challenged person? No. What a shitty thing to.

Make up a funny word with your first name in it. I don’t know.

Do you like campfires? Yes. I love the smell, it makes me think of fall. And just the coziness of it.

What's your favorite color to write with? Black.

Do you write poetry? No.

When's your 20th birthday? [Day & Month is fine. Year if you want.] I turned 20 back in July 2009.

Do you spit in public? Ew, no. I don’t spit at all except for when rinsing my mouth after brushing my teeth. It makes me gag seeing people spit. I also have to watch out for that when wheeling around outside because I would DIE if it got on my wheels and then me. akjkslfjldsfjkldsfjkl. I’m going to throw up just thinking about it.

Are you in high school/middle school/college? I’m done with school.

How many push ups can you do? Zero.

How would you react if your cat/dog died? I’ve been through that twice before with my doggos, it’s absolutely heartbreaking and devastating. My dogs are my family. It’s no different than losing any loved one; they’re a loved one, too. I had a really hard time when my dog, Brandie, passed. It was so sudden and unexpected.

Are you trustworthy? Yes.

“when I make it shine...”

Do you play video games often? I’ve been playing Animal Crossing just about everyday since earlier this year. Prior to that, I’ve played a few other games in their entirety since having my Nintendo Switch that I got over a year ago.

Do you like life, love, funny or boy quotes the best? I like # relatable quotes.

Have you ever been cheated on? No.

Have you ever had fruit pizza? No.

Would you like to learn karate? No.

Do you think it would have been cool to live in the 80s? Maybe.

Do you think we'll have robots in the future? They’re already a thing, they’re just not like easily, readily available to everyone like a Rosie from The Jetsons or something.

Was the sun out today? Not yet cause it’s 5:54AM and it’s still pitch black, but it will be.

Do you know what 143 stands for? “I love you.”

Does it get up to 100 degrees where you live? Ugh, yes. And higher. D:

When you play video games, do you like the sound on or off? I generally have it low or off.

When's the last time you saw fireworks? Fourth of July.

Do you like Dr. Pepper? Yeah.

Will you be seeing the new Transformer movie? I never saw any of them. Not my thing.

What made this week, one to never forget? Election 2020 will be talked about forever. This year in its entirety will be, but this election was a huge one.

“Tell me why you’re leaving me”

Did you wear shorts today? I don’t wear shorts.

Do you own a fur hat? No.

Do you still use the old time mail? I still receive mail, yes. I pretty much never send anything, though.

Have you ever played flag football? Yeah.

What color is your laptop? It’s silver.

Do you like Paris Hilton? I don’t have anything against her.

Did you smile at all today? Not so far, but it’s only 6AM.

Do you have an Xbox? My brother does and I’ve used it.

When you were little did you have a magic 8 ball? Yeah.

Have you ever ate grass or birdseed? Eww, no. I wasn’t the kid that stuck everything in their mouth or ate weird stuff.

Do you and your friends have secret codes? I don’t have any friends.

Have you ever seen the Lincoln Memorial? Not in person.

What's your profile picture on Facebook of? Me with my It/Pennywise mask on. It’s his mouth.

Do you own a yo-yo? No.

What celebrity is your fashion icon? I don’t have a fashion icon.

“How do you love someone without getting hurt?”

Do you hope you live to be the age 70 or older? I don’t want to think about dying.

Did you go to preschool? Yep.

Do you usually wear your hair up when it's hot out? Yeah. I wear my hair up all the time cause I don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything else with it.

Where were you when 9/11 happened? I was bedridden at home because I had spinal surgery a couple weeks prior.

Which would you rather play: guitar or drums? Guitar.

Have you ever gotten detention? No.

When you were little, did you used to watch Franklin? Yeah. Aww, he’s adorable.

What's the most exciting thing that's happened during your lifetime? 9/11 and this pandemic are definitely the most memorable, but I wouldn’t use the term “exciting” to describe them. A few of our blizzards, perhaps. <<< Yeah, definitely not exciting, but certainly major, life changing, go-down-in-history events.

How high can you count in a foreign language? I could go on and on in Spanish like I could English, but let’s be real I’d stop at 100 haha.

What's the best thing to do on a hot day? Stay indoors with the AC or go to the beach.

Would you like to go to Rome? Sure.

Do you use Febreeze? Sometimes. I prefer my Bath & Body Works room sprays, though.

Have you ever been to a rainforest? No.

How many days of school are left for you? I’m done with school.

How do you usually get tan? That only happens when I go to the beach. Sadly, I didn’t get to go this year.

“Last name ever, first name greatest”

Snickers or Twix? I like both.

Have you ever tried to sleep on an airplane? I tried, but couldn’t.

When you were little, did you like Dr. Suess books? Yes. Those are classics.

Are you more afraid of snakes or death? Both are scary to me, but death is just a little more serious...

Would you like to go to Australia? Sure.

Do you like Drake? Yeah, I like a lot of his songs.

What color are your headphones? Black.

Do you live in the past? Yes. :/

When it's spring, do you plant flowers? No. I don’t do any gardening.

Have you ever laughed for 10 minutes? I don’t think I ever have for that long.

Do you help your friends every time they need help? I tried to as much as I could.

Ever seen a Koala Bear up close? No.

Would you rather be blind or deaf? I’d obviously rather not be either one...

Once your done, are you done for good? Really depends on what I’m attempting to be done with.

Does it annoy you when girls wear a lot of make up? No? I don’t why I would care.

“Blow the world a kiss”

Do you live by a river? No.

Do you like being outside when it's storming? I like enjoying it from inside.

Ever thought about becoming a cop? No. A cop in a wheelchair... that’d be interesting.

Have you ever tried sushi? Ew, it’s disgusting.

When you were little, did you use to roll down hills? No.

Do you like store bought cakes or homemade ones better? I’d enjoy either one.

Do you think your a good kisser? No. Now I’m really out of practice.

Do you like long or short sleeves better? I like my sleeves to be like halfway from my elbow if that makes sense. Not a quarter sleeve, but a bit above that. Unless it’s cold, then I like long sleeves. I love when the sleeves are long enough to be able to pull down over my hands, but it’s hard to get the perfect fit when you have long arms like I do.

Do you like the name Jacob for a boy? Sure.

Could you live without electricity? Like, for how long? It would be a struggle, no denying that. I’ve never experienced going more than a few hours without it. I know people have to experience long periods without it sometimes or not have it at all, so I’m definitely fortunate.

Have you ever ate/drank something that was blue? Blue Gatorade, Pepsi Blue, the blue Mountain Dew, Kool-Aid, blue candies and cakes.

When is your last day of summer this year? I’m not in school, so no summer break anymore. However, summer is over and it has just recently started to feel like fall, so I’m quite happy about that.

Would you rather hang out with people who are loud or quiet? Quiet.

Have you ever had a pet turtle? No.

Do you want an iPad? Nah.

“You look like you want to party”

Are you double jointed? My thumbs are.

Have you ever done karaoke? Definitely not publicly, but at home.

What's your middle name? I’m not sharing that.

Do you wish on stars? No. I did when I was a kid.

Do you recycle? We recycle plastic bottles and cans.

Do you believe in love at first sight? No.

What's something you'll do when your older, but not now? I don’t know. Are you currently drinking anything? I’m finishing a Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink.

What color is your shirt? Black.

Have you ever played laser tag? Nope.

Does your best friend live within 5 minutes from you? My mom and I live together.

If you got dared to dye your hair purple, would you? No. I dye my hair red and I want to keep it that way. It would be a big, annoying process to do another color and then to go back if I wanted, so nah.

How many contacts do you have in your cell phone? Not many.

Do you own earmuffs? No. It doesn’t get cold enough for them here.

Nothing worse than being sunburnt, don’t you agree? I’ve experienced much worse, but they are awful.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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natashalierushman · 4 years

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Batfamily headcanon: Air fresheners.

Okay, so for anyone who has ever encountered a belfry of real live bats you will know, bless their lil hearts, but they reek - like we need to get out of here asap because it smells like the room has been drowned in ammonia bad...

So, batcave. Bats.

If you try to tell me Alfred Pennyworth and Bruce Wayne with their extensive cleaning routines/ wealthy lifestyles/ just bruce in general tbh, don’t have buckets of upper class febreeze you are lying and I will not stand for it.

They all have favourite scents as well. And I bet each batkid picks a new air freshener for the batmobile as Dick makes it sound like a robin tradition.

Dick I personally think would go for the giant jelly bean air freshener or sugary cotton candy like scents. They remind him of the circus and have bittersweet but happy memories. So much of robin for him at the start was for his family so this would another way of keeping them around. The cave always smells like sweets or strawberry soap when he’s around. It also is nostalgia without really setting him off, you know he needs quiet time or is seriously contemplating something when he starts to light scents like grass and the outdoors and the sea. When he wants to mess with Bruce he hides all these jelly beans in different places like vases or in batman’s utility belt, or just uses them as paperweights for case files. Bruce is presenting to the justice league and is trying to get one up on Clark and Hal and just pulls out a giant strawberry jelly bean.

Jason would like more cloying incense smells or old books. It’s a combination of his old life and his new and brings home comforts together and with stronger smells he’s also present and lets other people know he was there as well. He’d use them as occasional bookmarks until the smell completely ran out before getting a new one and even then he’d hold on to old favourites. Maybe Dick hides one for him in the robin outfit after a few months of being at the manor and then after that it’s free reign. After his return all his safehouses have faint traces. After a while, everyone in contact with Roy starts to notice he also smells like incense.

Tim would be more tentative starting out his air freshener collection. I think he would like smells like cedar or woods or citrus, smells that remind him of forests and being outside and feeling free. I think he’d like the cool ones shaped like trees as well. It takes a while for him to feel comfortable leaving them around for Bruce to find. Maybe Dick and Tim find a collapsed stall on patrol selling some and Dick inducts Tim into the tradition. The day he’s adopted by Bruce he leaves that same one Dick gave him finally on the rearview mirror. (...+Kon smells like cedar not that that as anything to do with it...)

Dami I think other people would assume he likes all the really spicy scents and I think he’d like the cinnamon smells. But he really secretly likes the delicate scents that are more gentle and make him feel safe. Scents like chamomile and jasmine and oranges. In his own space now he can finally explore what it’s like to be a child and have a family unit and some of the spicier smells he may like but more for the nostalgia for his mother. Damian needs to be needed and really he just wants people to love and be loved by and I think him displaying more subtle delicate smells is his non-verbal way of being more vulnerable. When dick was his batman he put a jasmine scented one on the batmobile after a difficult patrol and realised he had a home here with him.

Steph goes for purple when she can. but rather than being drawn to sickly or artificial scents (she and Dick frequently squabble over acceptable “sweet” smells) she likes dark berry scents and blackcurrants and smoky tones that smell like campfires. She doesn’t have as much time to make her place as robin but after she’s gone Bruce always keeps a purple berry freshener in a drawer by his desk. When she’s back she always leaves blackcurrent or blackberry throat soothers in Tim’s pockets or wears berry scented lip balm.

Cass would like the soft ones. Similar to damian but she likes scents like cotton or blankets or baby shampoo. They’re warming and soft and not jarring for her when she’s overwhelmed. On her more energetic days she likes mango smells and some fruits but also loves them for the bright colour and yellow. (purple and yellow being complementary colours has absolutely nothing to do with this at all...) She likes leaving some of them in her really rogue hiding places and hoards them in small batches.

Babs doesn’t like too thick scents often as I think she’d get headaches. But she’s also such a sap she has candles and fresheners she lights to remind her of others. She always has a jelly baby scented candle she lights when she’s missing dick. He sees it once accidentally and is an emotional but adorable mess. Cass and Steph get her mango and blueberry candles respectively as thanks for being their mentor and as a batgirl ritual of their own. One day babs wakes up and a small black candle is waiting on her windowsill.

They like to find sterotypically english scents sometimes for Alfred for fun like Earl Grey tea scents or fresh rain and he always stops whatever one he’s currently using and uses that one instead. He always knows whose been in the manor depending on the scent and bakes their favourite cookie in response.

Bruce keeps them all pressed in a book or in a box and none of them know because he’s a fucking closet sap.

@captaincarol-s thanks for helping me with this xx

#bruce wayne #Alfred Pennyworth #dick grayson #Jason Todd #Tim Drake #Stephanie Brown #Damian Wayne #barbara gordon #cass cain #batfamily #headcanons #dc #bats #air freshener

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weeklyfangirl · 5 years

Text

Frat Boy Pt. 16

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 (1), part 7 (2), part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13 , part 14, part 15

*adele voice* hello, it’s meeeee i was wondering if after all this time you’d like to reeeaaad. AHEM, in other words, thank you for reading, you lot mean a lot to me :’)

“I saw the cops on campus this morning.” Strands of hair escaped her haphazard ponytail, and she blew it out of her face. “You should really do this once a week so it doesn’t get so nasty,” she muttered, tone completely changing. She missed my shrug as she bent on her knees, foraging under the sink.

All signs of Harry had been removed since the night before, besides the faint clean scent lingering on the pillow. But even that was fading from my mom’s trigger happy Febreezing. Harry had snuck out earlier than me, just sending a text saying he had an early before-game practice.

“Mom, you really don’t have to clean this up.”

She ignored me for the upteenth time, pulling out Clorox wipes and focusing all her strength on the built-up gunk on the counter. “At least take turns or something. You do one week, Renny does the other.”

Tap Ramen must have been made by people who knew most college kids couldn’t afford more than a coffee and dehydrated noodles - on a good day. I slurped up the artificial chicken flavor and winced as the scalding water dribbled on my chin, some falling on the carpet. We cleaned whenever we could. But recently I’d been swamped and had zero motivation for any extra obligations, much less for cleaning. Renny just… didn’t. I think Renny saw a broom once, and hid it further out of reach.

More Clorox wipes were drawn and she moved to the sink.

“What were you going to say about the cops?” I asked.

“Oh, right.” She pushed back her hair with the back of her hand. “It was kind of weird. Do you know if anything’s happened?”

I offered her a bite of my ramen. She shook her head, sweat beads lining her forehead.

“Okay” - I tried to explain between chunks of noodle what was happening, but she made me swallow and start over. “Supposedly there’s some kind of gang that’s been tagging the walls around school. We woke up to an e-mail today and I guess they tagged the courtyard last night. There’s a game later though.”

“That’s frightening...”

“I think that’s why the cops are here. Extra security to make sure everyone feels safe.”

“Freaky.” She waited for me to say I agreed with her, that this was random and unexpected, but I didn’t. Fear lingered in her eyes, and I knew a couple of cops didn’t make her feel any better. In a second, she pulled me into a hug, holding me tight. “I just want my angel to be safe.”

My eyes closed, wishing it could be as simple as it was when I was a kid. When she could hold me tight, and tell me good guys always won - and I believed her. “Thanks momma.”

She gripped both my arms when she pulled back. “You don’t have any plans for next weekend right?”

I knew that tone. Some mandatory event was coming up and the thought of another something to do hurt my head. Midterms were over, but with sorority meetings, soccer games, and Zayn’s art project, I still needed to get caught up grading papers for Dr. Rhinecuff and write my own. There were only so many descriptions of the Krebs cycle I could read before the red pen sounded more appealing lodged in my eye. I rubbed my temple. “Mooooom.”

“What?” Her hand cradled my own that gripped my head, scared something was wrong.

How could I tell her I didn’t want to do whatever she was going to tell me? “I feel like I’m always doing something.” Another scalding bite of soup burned my mouth and I cringed.

“I know, but-”

“I just haven’t been given a second to myself to breathe!”

She flinched, retracting her hands. “Your brother’s coming into town.”

I faltered as she handed me her phone, bypassing her screensaver of Harry and I at the gala to pull up the text.

She wasn’t joking.

“Did he say why…?” I managed to mumble, half-fanning my mouth, trying to salvage whatever taste buds had survived my voluntary attack.

“He has a conference in Irvine. But he’s also family. He doesn’t always need a reason to come and visit us.”

I almost snorted but covered it with a cough for her sake. “Doesn’t he though?”

“Y/N!” she scolded.

“Sorry, sorry, you’re right.”

A sort of sadness filled her voice. “I know we barely see him, but he’s still my son.”

The words hung in the air. The fact that she needed to state something like that startled me more than I thought it would. She had two children, but one of them was more a stranger. We saw him maybe once or twice a year for a conference, Christmas if we were lucky. While her son was a stranger, her daughter was turning more unrecognizable every day. I softened. It wasn’t her fault she pushed out a numbers-chasing robot of a human.

“So you’re coming to dinner,” she said. The slight sheen in her eyes disappeared as she bat her lashes, a determined gleam taking its place.

I guess sometimes you couldn’t choose your family.

------

You also couldn’t replace the comfort of mom with a chai almond milk latte, but a girl could try.

My phone buzzed and I tried to ignore the way I deflated when it was Renny.

Can you bring me a lowfat latte I’m dyyyyinnnggg

Somehow, using her ridiculous charms and guiles, Renny had gotten the professor to allow her to turn in her essay a week late after spewing some story about how she was so overwhelmed from the stress of school and tonsillitis.

My phone buzzed again and I couldn’t help but snort at the dark moon emoji Renny added. The tall basketball player in front of me turned around, and I ducked my head down, clearing my throat. Shady moon emoji = the funniest emoji EVER, as verified by Renny and yours truly. Also worked as our code for beyond the world of the living. Running off two hours of sleep? Shady moon emoji. Just ran into your ex? Shady moon emoji. Well, I didn’t have any exes. But Renny definitely got some use out of that scenario.

I picked up our lattes, heading out the door. Renny was probably sitting with her head on her laptop cursing the extended deadline which only meant extended procrastination.

“Excuse me, miss!”

I stalled at the sound of authority. I could turn around, or keep walking. Unfortunately, I chose the former.

Rogue Cop from the frat house walked towards me, stalling a few feet away. “Do you have a moment.”

But it wasn’t a question. I nodded, and he pulled me aside to the grassy courtyard where kids rushed from one class to another. From the Starbucks patio, I felt eyes peering over laptops watching as he crossed his arms, his eyes unreadable behind black sunglasses. This was very… public.

“I was just on my way to your room, actually, so I’m glad I caught you. I have a few more questions.”

His name badge reflected in the sun, blinding me for a moment. Officer Ramirez. I’d shoved his card deep in my dresser drawer, but I hadn’t thrown it away.

“How do you know the Styles family?”

I shrugged. “I have a class with Harry. We were studying for our midterm together the other day.”

“Did you attend their family’s charity gala?”

Something told me he already knew the answer. I nodded.

“What happened that night?”

“I don’t know the full details of it, but when everyone was inside the auction room, the- I guess… I saw their family portrait was stolen.”

“How did you come to see that?”

“Mrs. Styles screamed. Everyone saw it, I just rushed to the sound like everyone else.”

“Did you see the image that was on the wall.”

Obviously.

“Yes?” I swallowed, hating how nerves warped it into a question as the conversation twisted.

“Can you remember anything else about the time you saw the symbol at Kean’s? Where was it, when was it…? Anything you can remember could help us in a big way.”

My eyes flitted to passerbys, each one turning to look at us once. Some had their phones out, probably zooming in for Snapchat or to message concerned parents. I hid further behind Officer Ramirez’s frame.

“It was a tattoo. On the back of the wrist.” My voice wavered, unwanted adrenaline making my body tremble from the inside-out. “Sometime in September.”

“Would you be able to recognize this person if we showed you him?”

“No. It was dark, and they were wearing a hoodie. I couldn’t see their face.”

“How many were there?”

“Excuse me?”

“You said they. How many did you see with the tattoo?”

“Only one. Outside the shop. But he was with a friend. He was shorter.” A shaky hand raised to tuck some hair behind my ear. He noticed.

“Did you speak to them?”

“They didn’t hurt me!”

My outburst caught him off-guard. He inhaled slowly, exhaled slowly. Even his breath was calculated. “I see.” He rubbed the stubble beneath his chin, looking at the two drinks in my hand. “If there was anything that happened, it’s okay to tell me. It would only help us.”

“I just saw one tattoo.”

But even I could tell my voice was weak. He nodded, unconvinced, but I knew that he knew he wasn’t going to be able to prove his suspicion right.

“Thank you for your time.”

I nodded, taking this as an opportunity to walk away.

“As you know,” he called out, waiting for me to stop before continuing. “The gang tagged the school grounds this morning. Their tags are moving towards the coast, outside of their normal range, so just be aware of your surroundings. Notice the people around you.” He spoke like a father, but beyond the sunglasses was still a cop, and I knew he was dissecting my poker face for any sign of a flinch.

“Always.” And even I was impressed with how confident how I sounded.

I turned around, closing my eyes, and pretended for a second I was sinking into the earth, the cool dirt covering my body and hiding me from the world instead of my alternative. That when I opened my eyes, the world would be too close, looking at me, gossiping about me, wondering about me.

The random girl who talks to Harry now turned into the random girl who talks to the cops. That had a spicy ring to it, but I wondered how much the two went hand in hand.

I tossed the cooled lattes in the nearest trash can, shooting Renny a text.

Sorry. Line was too long.

------

I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. But I think I was used to that now. Later in the art studio, Zayn put down his brushes. He cleared his throat, and I stirred on the chair, ripped from my reverie.

“Something wrong?” he asked.

I shook my head.

“It’s all over your face. So it’s all over the canvas.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said, cringing at how the words flew out of my mouth so easily. I shouldn’t apologize so much.

He mulled something over in his mind until the annoyingly familiar look of pity appeared. I looked away from his soft eyes, out towards the window, trying to escape the sadness he reflected back to me.

Harry was right.

I didn’t like the way he saw things.

--------

“Well you never, ever, EVER have to do that again.”

I looked to Renny, one brow arched as she shoved a fry in my mouth. “One, because it was your last session. But TWO, and most important… because I will model for Zayn next time.” She made a silly face and raised her eyebrows. From the field, the band started to play at that exact moment and she burst out laughing. I smiled, glad she was enjoying herself.

We stood by the locker rooms, waiting for the boys to get a spare moment to give us their extra jerseys.

“Would you ever think that we’d both be dating guys on the soccer team?” she mused.

I gave her a look.

“Or whatever it is you and Harry are doing. It’s crazy, right?”

If you told me two months ago that the guy who’d walked into class with a black eye would be the guy I was waiting on now, I’d laugh. If you then proceeded to tell me this man was Harry Styles, I’d stop laughing and say you should never be a comedian because your jokes were too far from reality.

“Crazy,” I agreed, eyes bulging out of my head for emphasis.

“W’as so crazy girls?” Niall strolled out, arms spread open with the jersey tossed over his shoulder. Renny jumped on him, legs wrapping around his waist as if there was some kind of magnetic pull attached to their hips. Harry wasn’t too far behind and gave me a head nod. I felt my own pull.

I came up to him, suddenly feeling a little dumb for having asked for this in the first place. This was normal, though, right? Totally normal? He beckoned me a little further away around the corner from Niall and Renny who were already pressed up against the wall. Neither of us wanted to see the wordless pep talk she was giving him.

“Right. Arms up,” he ordered.

I scoffed at his smug smile, but didn’t argue, putting up my arms. I looked him dead in the eye as he aligned the jersey with my hands. The places his skin brushed mine made my hair stand on end, aware of each goosebump that was now so delicately close to him.

“Aren’t you going to ask me to take off what I’m wearing first?” I mocked.

He paused, looking at me as he tugged the jersey down a little more aggressively than necessary.

With the jersey on, he watched while I fixed my hair. “M’not into public showings.”

“I was kidding,” I mumbled.

“I don’t think you were.”

“I was!”

Scrutinous eyes appraised my flustered state, and he fought a smirk. His voice was velvet, suddenly Mr. Seduction. “You don’t have to deny yourself with me.” His fingers looped through my jeans’ belt loops, tugging me closer. Our hips touched, but when I thought he was going in for a kiss, he bit the tip of my nose instead.

“Who are you???” I flinched, but before I could say anything more he gently pushed me back so he could get a good look at me. The whiplash from being close to him had me reeling. I hesitated before doing a spin.

His lips pursed before breaking into a smile. “Waited a while to see this.”

“Worth the wait?” My confidence faltered as he scanned over my body, up the curve in my legs and the rise of my chest, until he searched my face, finding some hidden meaning in my words again.

“I’d bet on it.”

I couldn’t meet the intensity of his gaze, so I looked to his own jersey. “We’re matching.”

“I’m a little offended.”

“Why?”

“I think you wear it better than me.”

He winced as I hit him on the shoulder. “Who turned you so cheesy.”

“Oi! Offense!”

From around the corner, Niall peaked his head around. “We got two minutes, mate.”

I hid my frown from Harry as he turned to Niall, the sharp edge of his jawline made more prominent from the fluorescent lights above us. Parts of him were shadowed, and when he yelled fuck off to Niall (big smile, just banter), I noticed even his neck was attractive.

I laughed, absolutely ridiculous, and he turned to me.

“W’as so funny?”

I didn’t say anything as his hands snuck around my waist to pull me in again. But I don’t think I needed to say anything. Slowly, I leant up to his perfectly tousled curls instead, resting my forehead against his, hoping to keep this feeling locked in forever. The softest sigh escaped him.

“Did you hear about what happened last night?” he asked, softly.

“Yeah.” I opened my eyes, but his were still closed.

He hummed, tugging gently on my jersey. “You don’t have to wear this if you don’t want to.”

“Heyyy, you said you wanted to make me happy.” I nudged my nose against his, and he smiled. There it was. That’s what I wanted.

“I want you to be safe.” His brows stitched and the smile fell again. Just like that.

I pulled back, but his hands stayed firm, keeping me tight against him. The gang had been on campus. Kean’s wasn’t too far away, but a marking here was a clear breach of territory. If I was worried, that was one thing. But if Harry was worried, I was terrified.

“Stop that.” He saw my spiralling thoughts and snapped me back to the present, gently lifting my chin. “Nothing’s going to happen.”

“I just don’t know what they want. You can’t promise me that it’s going to be okay.”

“Fair... but I’m a strong boy, Y/N.”

“Yeah well I don’t necessarily have as many muscles as you.”

There were dark circles under his eyes and a sleepy smile on his lips. Somehow, he was going to be strong enough to go out on the field and give it his all. It took all the energy in the world for me to get out of bed this morning, let alone run a field fifty times over. “I’m going to make sure you don’t have to use any of them,” he promised, looking over his shoulder. He backed me up against the wall, back blocking us to any invasive eyes.

“How do you do it?” I asked.

“Do what?”

“How can you be so confident… and just ready, all the time?”

The roar of the crowd picked up as the announcer spoke. He’d have to leave soon. He’d go out there with the strength and infallibility he proved each game. He’d use all of the world’s bullshit as fuel to win.

But right now, he was outside the public eye.

Right now, his stubble tickled my jaw as he ran his mouth to my ear.

“Cos I’m a damn good liar.” He dipped his mouth lower, placing a kiss on that sensitive spot that made my breath hitch. His lips were light, but a hard knick of his teeth tugged on the smooth skin. The softest breath escaped me, but he heard it. I knew he did. He’d started gentle, but as soon as the breath was out he pulled harder on my skin, nibbling, sucking, the stubble scratching deliciously against my neck, desperate to hear the sound again. And again. My back arched from the pressure, pressing my body closer as he turned me to a panting mess. He was enjoying this as much as I was, I could feel him grow against my thigh, and I wanted nothing more than to drag him into the locker room and see every inch of him.

He pulled away too soon, hair disheveled, and a satisfied smirk on his face.

“I thought you weren’t into public displays?” I asked, breathlessly.

“That wasn't a display.” His fingers traced my bottom lip, mesmerizing himself with how his thumb slid down, my lip running with it until it slid back up. “That was a warning.” He smirked, turning on his cleats, looking back just as my hand covered the tingling patch on my neck.

“If they fuck with you, they fuck with me.” He shrugged, walking backwards, naughty schoolboy grin lasting but a moment before he disappeared around the corner.

I scoffed, wanting to pound my fists against the wall for having been left by him again!! Being sucked and dumped… again!!!

At least Renny was high on cloud 10000. All she could talk about was how good Niall was at kissing, and in the sheets, and UGH she just wanted to rip off his jersey and DO HIM RIGHT NOW. She shook me vigorously to get her point across. At least that was one frustration we could agree on.

Once in the soccer stadium, we struggled to find a free space in the stands. The Panthers had basically secured their rankings, and now the stands were full twice a week to see how long this winning streak could go. We looked like deer in the headlights scanning the sea of faces until we saw a platinum bob bouncing up and down. “Y/N!!” Gemma shouted, but we could only read her lips.

We pushed our way through the crowd, almost impossible to get down the aisle as everyone stood up in a cheer. I tossed a look back - the team had rushed onto the field. Harry was in the front, repeatedly lifting up his hands to the crowd. Scream louder. And they did.

Renny nudged me further up the stands, and I followed her gaze to the DGS - Viv, Karli, Shelby and others faces of their clan. I couldn’t see Lynn. I squinted harder. She was probably there somewhereeeee- WELP. Viv caught me staring. I ducked lower behind the stranger I was trying to pass. She shouldn’t be able to see me, but I could still feel her eyes burning a hole in the back of my jersey with Harry’s giant #13 impossible to miss.

Frickity. Frickity. Frack.

“Should we sit with them?” Renny asked, barely dodging the slosh of beer from someone raising their arm a little too vigorously.

“HA! I’m good. You can though.”

I finally smooshed my way past everyone, practically falling in Gemma’s lap with Renny not too far behind.

Gemma looked at the hickey briefly, but was polite enough to not mention anything. I didn’t have a mirror with me, but if how it was stinging was any judge of size, it was way bigger than a quarter. When the halftime show was on and the band was playing, Renny left for the DGs. She squeezed my hand. “I’m only going to say hi. I’ll come back.” I smiled, nodded, but I knew she wouldn’t.

The thing was, I didn’t mind Gemma’s company. At all actually. If we hadn’t seen her, I would’ve been forced to mingle, and I didn’t want to think about forcing conversation right now. I didn’t want to think about much of anything. Compared to Harry’s dark enigma, Gemma was a breath of cool light. A little reserved, sure, but not shy. And she wouldn’t press me into talking when I didn’t want to.

“Where’s Charlie?” I asked.

“Left. He had work in England. Life across the pond,” she mused. “His was a roundtrip, mine was a one-way, but I’ll be back by Christmas hopefully.”

Disappointment washed over me. I hadn’t realized I’d gotten attached to the friendly man. How funny the one person who reminded me of my brother leaves the same week my ghost of a brother returns. Could I trade them?

“He didn’t want me to come,” Gemma sighed suddenly. Her hair was drawn back in a fishtail braid, and she picked at the ends.

“Charlie?”

“No. Harry.”

She sat straighter, tossing the braid over her shoulder. “But I think a part of him would’ve been sad if I didn’t. He does that sometimes. Says things he doesn’t mean.” Her eyes were glued to the field.

“Why wouldn’t he want you to come?” My tone was sympathetic. At our sleepover, Harry had said they’d fought, but he hadn’t wanted to discuss it. There wasn’t any way I was going to drag the truth out of him, but maybe Gemma...

She rolled her eyes, irritated. ““Well…” she sighed, clearly not quite sure where to start. Or if she should start at all.

“I won’t tell Harry,” I said, “If that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Oh, pfft.” She waved her hand, dismissing my comment. “I know it’d come out sooner or later.”

It wasn’t a diss towards me though. I thought of Harry’s invasive eyes and my fiery tongue… and she was right. It probably would have come out. At least the thought had been there.

“I’m just a little worried about him,” she confessed. “I mentioned it’d be nice to have our mother come down and stay a while. There’s plenty of room in that house of theirs, but he’s-”

The roar of the crowd drowned out her words. Harry had scored. I clapped instantly, but it was brief, distracted by Gemma’s words.

“Are his parents cool with...your mom?” It was weird phrasing, and knowing absolutely zero history about their relationship didn’t exactly help. Gemma seemed forgiving, unphased at least.

“Lionel’s...open to it. And Mary-” Gemma looked away, not sure how to describe her. “She’s been gone recently.” She did a sweeping motion above her head. She clearly didn’t mean physical absence. “They’ve been generous to let me and Charlie stay, so I can’t imagine they’d rob Harry of that right to decide for himself.”

“Why doesn’t he want to see her?” I ask, avoiding the Mary topic for now. The flash in her eyes says I’ve asked a little too much. I should feel embarrassed, but she shrugs, hiding it well.

“He hasn’t seen her since he was a child… it’s been a long time.” I remembered Viv telling me Harry was adopted when he was seven the same time Gemma moves a strand of hair from my face like a mother would. She glanced at the exposed hickey. “How’s he been though? S’he seem fine? You probably see him more than me.”

I wasn’t sure if it was a deflection away from revealing anything more about her brother, or blatant curiosity. Perhaps it was a bit of both. I shied away from her touch, not sure how much she knew about Harry and I. Did he tell her anything about me I wonder? Or was I still the “friend” from English class? No matter what kind of tacit understanding we’d shared ever since the cops arrived at the frat house, I didn’t know how far that understanding went in public.

“I see him sometimes,” I admitted. “Between school and the sorority, and Harry having soccer practice all day every day, we study sometimes… I guess-” I shrugged “-I guess I see him enough.” But it wasn’t enough. Not really. Because every minute without him, he lingered stubbornly in the recesses of my mind, and the smallest unrelated thing could remind me of him. Sometimes that reminder was enough. Other times, the giant black t-shirt-wearing sass god that he was in my mind refused to be tucked away and sat on top of everything else - which made it exceedingly hard to concentrate on homework, work, sleep, and anyone that didn’t have curly brown hair and shadowed green eyes. I was already three episodes into the Housewives, and had only seen about two short clips of him.

It didn’t help that I now had photographical evidence he existed.

After seeing my mom’s lockscreen, I studied my favorited photo a little longer. We stood side by side, opulent and regal in my red-wine ball gown and Harry in his black-and-white elegance. I frowned at how I seemed to lean into him a little more than he did into me, but his hand still claimed my waist, fingers dipping lower onto my hip. Our masks hid different truths (or were some the same?). Each time I’d look at it again, I pretended not to have seen the image a dozen times before, opening and closing my eyes as though it’d help me look at it differently… each time, I thought the same.

We looked like we belonged together, the woman in the dress and the man in the tux. We fit.

If you took away the costumes, would it still be true?

“He is a little on-edge,” I continued cautiously. Harry ran across the field, a little slower than usual, and I remembered his reddened eyes. “I think he’s having trouble sleeping.”

She nodded as if this wasn’t a surprise to her. “He didn’t used to.” But it sounded like a question. “Sometimes I think it’d be better if I hadn’t come,” she said it under her breath, but I’d heard it just before the stands collectively groaned. The other team had stolen the ball from Harry and scored.

“Don’t say that, I know he’s happy you’re here.” Though I didn’t, not really. I gave her a gentle squeeze, not sure how else to comfort a friendly acquaintance.

She wiped her hands down her face and when they fell in her lap, she’d shaken whatever it was that was bothering her. “You’re right. Maybe.” Then, a quizzical look took over. “Has Harry told you anything?”

I shook my head. “He just said you got in a fight. Didn’t tell me about what though.”

She took out popcorn she’d hid in her purse, sly smile saying something she wouldn’t. “He must really like you.” She still had that knowing smile when she erupted in a cheer, standing to clap with the rest of the stadium.

We’d won. Everyone’s phones lifted high in the air, recording the mania they’d all been expecting. Flashes, little bulbs of light, captured pictures of happy college students and their victorious team. The videos would be one of many posted to Instagram stories, along with those from the after parties.

A crawling feeling drew up my spine. I looked around, expecting to be the subject of somebody’s photograph. Ridiculous, because I didn’t find anybody zooming into my face. No one was watching me, I reminded myself. But still, the feeling lingered.

In the crowd, Matt stood taller than the rest. He flashed his all-American smile, jumping up and down with his other basketball friends. When he saw me staring, he waved big, but his smile faltered. He pointed to my neck before shaking his head, busting up with a laugh I realized I couldn’t hear. A laugh I didn’t know how much I’d been wanting to hear until now. Until I couldn’t. But even though I couldn’t hear him, his look said it all. His teasing voice sprang in my head - had a good night, huh? - and then my own chest bubbled with laughter. But his eyes dropped lower to my jersey and his smile fell. He looked away without meeting my gaze again, and I couldn’t help but feel the tiniest bit of rejection.

-----------

The dangling string lights above Karli’s bed swayed into each other until they became one blurry glow. Or maybe it was me… okay yes, it was me. I was the one swaying. From the carpet, I gripped her lavender bedspread to steady myself.

“I’m not surprised we won honestly,” she said, Cartier bracelets tinkering down her arm as if her cheering from the stands was the sole thing that made the Panthers win. In my impaired state, I fought a snicker. If the gang had seen her walking last night, one mugging would’ve given them all the money they needed.

Horrible thought.

Awful thought.

Tremendously awful horrible passing thought I wouldn’t wish on anyone-

But alas, it was still a thought.

“That makes two of us,” Viv chimed.

It was sometime past midnight, and Renny and I had already taken full advantage of the mini shots we’d packed in our purses. We broke them out as soon as the official meeting had ended.

Tonight had been “get to know what we’re really all about night.” So we’d learned more their charity Service for Sight. Apparently, sometime quite soon we’d be paired with a vision impaired student on campus as a sort of “introduction” for the bigger service work to be done later at the Blind Children’s Center in Los Angeles. For the first time since joining, I’d felt an excited flutter in my chest. The only reason I was studying Biology was to eventually become a doctor, to contribute to the world in some positive way. And now the opportunity was falling in my lap to do something that felt...good. Maybe I did need to thank Renny and - oh, God - my mother for pushing me into this.

Most of the girls dispersed to post-game parties after that - including Harry’s frat’s. I tried not to think about Harry getting drunk and beautiful girls dressed in zilch getting to see his drunk flushed cheeks and taking advantage of his flirtatious nature… pressing him up against a wall, him dipping his head low to brush his lips against their ear…

I stop my imaginative self-pity and laughed at myself. Harry? Taken advantage of by pretty girls?

For what it’s worth, I also tried not to think about how my phone had remained completely silent since the game. I’d sent him a “CONGRATULATIONS!! So proud. I have to go the DGS tonight but wish I could celebrate with you” just in case he’d been planning on seeing me. It was the nice thing to do after all. I was getting antsy for him to see the message and when we piled out of the stadium, I caught him just before he entered the field tunnel.

“Harry!!” I’d shouted. He faltered, before he matched the voice with the face. I pantomimed texting and waved my phone like a madwoman. “CHECK IT!!”

But Gemma was right behind me, and his face fell, turning on his heel just as he’d left me last. Except this time the bruise he’d given me wasn’t visible. And there were helluva lot less butterflies.

Shelby turned the first floor of the DG house to an after party of her own, but as soon as friends of friends started showing up, Karli began leading a small group of VIPS upstairs as I planned my escape. Renny hadn’t noticed, already giggling halfway up the banister with Kiki while Lynn followed, arm slung around Donna.

My hand had just opened the front door when Viv called out to me.

“Stay,” she’d said, long blonde hair tossed over a delicate shoulder. It was hard to find something malicious in her tone, especially through my buzz - but I knew another intention was hiding, somewhere, even if I couldn’t see the end game. “Come onnn,” she drawled, her voice the sweet nectar of a venus fly trap. I could hear my mom’s voice now, telling me that I was being too harsh, judging too soon…

But even if I couldn’t prove it, energy couldn’t lie. Was I smarter than a fly?

I followed her anyhow.

Sat between Donna and Renny, I was starting to think that the last Jack Daniel’s shot was a mistake when Karli slammed her hands against the carpet. It was a dull thud, but it could’ve shook the whole room the way we all went rod-still.

“You guys might actually turn out to be cool,” she confided. She burst up in a fit of giggles, but quieted herself, barely. “No, really, you’ve done a great job so far.”

“Aww.” Renny placed a hand to her chest and I wanted to smack it down. I quickly glanced at Lynn, but instead of getting a can you believe this? stare, she seemed unbothered.

“It’s easier than how we had it,” Viv said.

“Really?” I always thought they’d just strolled in, flashed a nice smile, bonded over how they had the same hairdresser and BAM. They were in.

Apparently not.

Viv looked past me to the door, and in the hushed way she spoke, made me think this wasn’t exactly what they wanted everyone to hear. Or anyone, besides the six of us. Karli and Viv looked at each other in sly excitement. With a swish of her autumn bob, Karli leant forward, hands splayed on the carpet.

“We have an assignment for each of you,”

“Uh, pass, I don’t need another one,” Lynn chortled.

Karli held out her finger, scanning us in the the most dramatic pause. “This isn’t an ordinary assignment. The first phase involves you getting a DG Pretty Please.”

Donna tried to stifle her laugh. Renny hid a smirk, but she sat silent, completely transfixed.

“The DG Pretty Please is a task, anonymously assigned to you by one of our members. Think Secret Santa, but different,” she continued.

“And some of these tasks will take longer than you think, so Kiki and I are giving you plenty of time to prepare,” Viv smiled, as though it was the most charitable thing she could have done.

“Is everyone getting a task like this?” Renny asked.

Karli scratched her eyebrow, slightly annoyed. “It doesn’t really work like that. It’s something you do if you’re asked.”

But I heard the edge to her tone. This was something you did if you were told. With the way they’d watched the door for any unsuspecting party goer, it sunk in that this wasn’t technically official. It was the part everyone knew that came with sororities and fraternities, but the part no one put on paper. If getting a secret mission was as bad as DG hazing could get, I’d consider myself lucky.

“Does Shelby know about this?” I asked, boldly. Renny shot me a glare, wordlessly asking if I was really that dumb to ask that question, to have just now decided to expose the unspoken agreement carried out wordlessly and infamously since the organization’s conception.

Karli snorted. “Shelby was the one who invented this.”

“In December, we’ll have a final pledge meeting. Prove completion of your DG Pretty Please and if you do, then that same night your big will be revealed to you.” It was the only time Viv’s smile didn’t feel too forced. She enjoyed this madness.

Renny didn’t hesitate- “I’m in!”

“But!” Viv interjected. “If you aren’t successful, you forfeit a spot in the sorority. I know you all get super busy with clubs, and parties-”

“And homework,” I mentioned.

“Oh, right. School,” Karli said, partially joking. “I know everyone likes you guys right now, but this is a serious assignment that affects your ability to be a part of this sisterhood. And you can’t tell anyone what your task is. It’s completely anonymous. If anyone else finds out, we’ll know you talked. Your challenge is void. You fail. We question your loyalty, bla, bla, bla, details. Any questions?”

“Can I get my money back?” I laughed, and the girls snickered - but I wasn’t really joking.

“Ha! No.” Viv was as much of a comic as I was. “You’ll get your tasks in a couple days.”

A chime went off, and we all looked at our phones. It was Lynn’s.

“We made the paper again!!” She did a little party dance in her lap and Donna peered at the screen. “Just got the notification,” Lynn explained.

The only college student left alive that got updates of the local paper, Lynn’s parents were published newspaper columnists. After graduating Yale and having a stint of employment in the Middle East, the couple traveled to New York and continued writing for the Times before they moved west coast and settled for the San Francisco Chronicle. ‘Major literary nerds’ was Donna’s affectionate term.

“Is it about the game? Did they include any pictures of cheer?” Viv was suddenly interested. She looked at the article, lips pinching in disappointment. There were snapshots of the different players from tonight, and I struggled to focus on the screen that was lain on the floor for all to see. But there he was, mouth open as if bellowing to his teammates, legs parted in a run. My blood ran hot. Was it stuffy in this room? Was it just this photo of Harry? Or was it just good ‘ol Jack Daniel?

I drew my hair up in a haphazard ponytail, smiling as Lynn scrolled to a picture of Louis scoring and pulling some ridiculous face in concentration. “There’s my boy!!” I hollered, pointing at the screen. “He’s just so dang good.”

Kiki’s brow rose. “Wrong jersey, love.”

Lynn suddenly snapped, snatching her phone back to recapture our attention. “Dude, I saw Louis go in the locker room with Candice yesterday after Journalism. But I don’t think…”

Karli’s auburn bob swished as she shook her head. “Oh, hell no. My mom sees Candice at church every Sunday, she probably just took his dirty laundry to take home.”

“Doesn’t that mean he’d have to strip down first,” Lynn smiled.

“Again, doubt it,” Kiki dismissed.

Viv heaved a sigh of relief. “Well thank God, I would’ve been out.”

“Out of what?” I asked. This time Renny didn’t stab me with her eyes for asking a question. This time, she was just as curious.

“You didn’t hear about the money pool?” Lynn asked.

“Uhhh… no.”

“I’m with you...” Donna said, eyes narrowing.

Lynn held up her hands. “What?! Babe, don’t look at me like that.”

“It’s a game everyone in the house is in on,” Kiki said. “Whoever’s the first to fuck in the locker room wins the money. Do you want in?”

My body temperature rose another 500 degrees just remembering being outside the locker room, whereby I continued to be consensually ruined for any future makeout that didn’t involve Harry.

Viv looked completely cool, composed. “Y/N must’ve missed one of those meetings.”

“I don’t know, I think Y/N might win if she plays. Did he give you that massive thing?” Donna’s voice was low, but not low enough.

Everyone’s eyes went to my neck. I swallowed, hard. Viv’s eyes glazed over and I didn’t miss the click of her jaw.

Can the gods come down right now and blast me away??! Why did I put my hair up!! Why!! I’d been so careful hiding it this entire night!!

If I wasn’t drunk I’d be trembling. I didn’t trust Viv, but that didn’t mean I wanted her to hate me. Seeing her eyes glaze over I almost felt guilty. Almost. Until I remembered all the snide comments, the way she belittled me in front of Harry, the way she took pride in being one step ahead...

Not this time.

I channeled my inner I don’t give a damn like the perfect mask it was, and flipped my hair over both shoulders, giving them my best ridiculous smize face that made Renny snort aloud.

“Eh, I’ll think about it. But I’ll let you win for now.”

Kiki watched the scene unfold before her with a delirious smile, respect riddling her voice. “I think you’ve just given us inspiration for your challenge.”

chappie 17

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