#i hate that i woke up and practically begged my mom to not make me go to school because im too damn tired and too damn depressed

[chronicallymargaret]

the beginning

One morning in February of 2012, my mom had knocked on the door to wake me for breakfast and I told her I didn’t feel well. She went and grabbed the thermometer and it read 102℉. There was a sickness going around the high school at the time, so she told me to take some meds and rest. The next morning, my mom woke me up again to check my temperature and it had barely gone down. I stayed home again and followed the same regime. After my fever finally broke, my body didn’t feel right. I thought maybe I was just overly tired from being sick or maybe it was just the cold medicine wearing off. Eventually, I got to the point where I really didn’t think about the pain because I didn’t want to worry anyone. The family wounds were still healing from losing my first best friend, my grandpa, six years prior to cancer. Plus, I never liked people worrying about me because I knew that no matter what, I would always be okay - or so I thought.

High school was hard enough - let alone having a medical condition that not a single doctor in the tri-state area knew a single thing about. I kept my symptoms away from my parents for a very long time. Eventually, like most parents, they caught on that something wasn’t right with their kid. In December of 2012 along came the typical parental questions: “Margaret, are you doing drugs?” “Come on, kid, just tell me what’s going on with ya.” “Kiley Mae. Sit your ass down and start talking.” And then the never ending conversations and tears started to flow. I explained that, no - I was not doing drugs (I really was quite innocent here, Ma and Pops. Only a couple of times, I swear.). I finally broke down to my parents and told them the truth: Ever since that February morning in 2012, I’ve had a headache and chronic pain nearly every day.

Next thing I knew, my mom started researching and researching and more researching. She tried countless times to get clinics/doctors/specialists - you name it, she called them - to even listen to her. She called Mayo Clinic nearly EVERY DAY - practically begging on her hands and knees to fit me in to be seen by someone, anyone. She was my voice because no doctor or person took me seriously. I was “craving attention, a drama queen, drug addict/seeker, hypochondriac, lazy, not good enough, problematic, selfish, waste of money, time, and space.) I watched my dad’s hair slowly turn more and more gray as he worried about whether he should go to work to make money for the never-ending medical bills or go with his wife and daughter to find out the answers. (I hate how corporate America works. Since when has money become more important than one’s health? It’s disgusting and I wish we could change the system.) I watched my sister lack the attention from my parents that she deserved because they were constantly worried about me. (I am in no way, shape, or form calling out my parents. They have ALWAYS done their best in EVERY situation and that is why I am so proud to call them my parents - my heroes.) My high school friends secretively raised money to buy me a miniature pet pig to try to help make me feel better - my parents appreciated the kind gesture but said no because I needed to focus on my health. (I WILL own a pet pig one day - Dallas has already approved.

I have had a majority of my POTS symptoms under control over the last 10 years, but 2023 really screwed up my body. Due to all of the trauma and stress from not only everyday life, but miscarriages, surgeries, and mental health episodes as well - my body has been in FULL overdrive. I've been struggling trying to keep my life going and trying to ignore my health because I don’t want to give in to the fact that my POTS is getting WORSE and not better like I had been telling myself - and everyone I know - since the day I was diagnosed in July of 2012. Back then - yes, this was a frickin’ decade ago .. totally gross, I know. [“POTS was only seen in approximately 500,000 Americans. (https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2012/0901/p392.html)."] Imagine being 15 years old and you're a literal drop in the ocean of people who have something medically rare. What in the frick are the odds of that?

Flash forward to now, February 2024, I have nearly every symptom back plus new ones. My chronic symptoms are headaches - different intensities and locations, lightheadedness and dizziness, severe brain fog - I try not to drive on these days as I typically forget everything, insomnia, anxiety (omg .. I said the BIG “A” word), and depression (oooopps, I did it again bahaha). My new symptoms are: chronic abdominal pain - intensity and location has varied over approximately three months now, dry heaving, hot and cold intolerance (I told my work mom’s I feel like I’m going through menopause with how many hot flashes I have .. they giggled and said “Ohhh Kiley Mae, you have no idea what you’re in for - this is hardly nothing.” Also, can we talk about how important work relationships are? I love my work moms and work family - I’m very blessed on that front.), and vomiting.

The news that I learned today was that due to the dry heaving and vomiting, I now have a large hiatal hernia - part of my stomach is on top of my diaphragm. I’m currently waiting for a call to schedule a barium swallow test and I have a referral in with the University of Nebraska Medicine with a POTS specialist. I personally believe that I’m going to have chronic headaches and abdominal migraines - but I’m holding onto a little bit of hope that the doctor I currently have is going to confirm that the abdominal discomfort is from the hernia, not POTS. I plan on keeping this updated regularly because after I figure out what’s going on with me - I want to share my path of life so no one has to go through the medical trauma that I have.

Medical trauma is a huge part of not only who I am as a person but talking about it is the therapy that I am working through right now. I will eventually spill all of the emotions, but for today I’m going to talk about today. Because today was a very good day and I deserve to celebrate it.

My parents have become “snowbirds” and fly to southern Texas for the winter. Unfortunately, my endoscope ended up being scheduled while they were gone. I told my parents they didn’t have to come back home because it was a simple procedure, and everything was going to be okay. (Yes, I’m 27 and still take my parents to certain medical appointments because I’ve been hurt - I’m working on it.). I don’t know if it’s because I finally did it by myself or if the staff was told to be extra careful with me or what - but I had the most relaxing experience ever. No one looked at me like I was weird when I stated that I had POTS and would need an extra bag of saline. The first anesthetist actually shared with me that she also was diagnosed with POTS. I immediately got a smile on my face and asked if she was kidding. Coming from a small town, not very many people understood what my diagnosis is and again - I’ve been used to being a single drop in the ocean.

The anesthetist made sure to mark my charts and inform the rest of the care team my condition, what to expect, and what I would need after I woke back up. Anesthesia tends to send me into a flare up - especially with cutting off food and water after midnight. Once I got taken into the operating room, my actual anesthetist started asking me questions about POTS. He stated that he had heard of it, but only until recently. I started to explain how long I’ve had it. Then I just started word vomiting because this was a whole new experience for me - how I just want some answers but I’m sure they wouldn’t find anything. I had already come to terms with the abdominal migraines starting. He looked at me in the sincerest way and said, “Wow. You’re a strong woman. You’ve been through a lot but you’re so cool about it.” That statement right there hit me. I realized in that moment that, holy shit, I’ve persevered. I’ve climbed a huge hurdle today and I can’t wait to keep climbing.

If you've read this long - just know that I see you and I love you.

#chronic pain #postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome #chronic illness #mental health #medical trauma #ptsd #miscarriage

[pics-and-fanfics]

A Line Was Crossed

Pairing: not really one, it just focuses on Y/n. Yes, Draco and the golden trio are friends in this one!

Warnings: mentions of dead mom, verbal abuse, screaming, use of emotions and past mistakes as leverage/ammo, angst, reader blaming herself, lil bit of fluff, explanation of how mom died

Summary: Dolores Umbridge crosses a line that should never be crossed. And yes Ik this is different from my normal stuff, but this has been spinning in my head for half an hour before I decided to write this!

If your interested, you can find my other works here!

You unpack your bag, huffing. You did not want to have to deal with another day of Umbridge and her shit.

“And don’t forget to stay tuned in to see what kind of shit Dolores Umbridge pulls in today’s class!” Draco says as he walks in, sitting down next to you. You laugh, feeling a soft hit to the back of your head, seeing Hermione sit in her seat behind you.

“Well good morning to you too, ‘Mione!” you say, and she rolls her eyes. “You woke up everyone in the dorm last night with your snoring. Honestly, I think it’s gotten worse.”

“Sorry ‘Mione, but I dunno what you want me to do. It’s not like I can just not sleep.” you say, your hand playing with your choker. It was a nervous habit, one you’d do when you needed a bit of extra comfort.

“Good morning class, I expect you finished all your homework and are ready to turn it in.” Umbridge says, and you groan, turning back around in your seat. You were going to hate today.

😢

Somehow the topic had drifted to the Unforgivable Curses again, just like almost every class. You were just glad Neville wasn’t here so he wouldn’t have people throwing it at him almost every day.

“Y/n? Are you even listening?” “Hmm? Sorry.” you say, refocusing on the talks.

It’d only been two minutes. 2. Minutes.

“Tell me, do you enjoy hurting people?” Umbridge asked you, and you seethed. “I don’t believe-“

“Do you enjoy killing?” “I’ll kill you.” you say, looking her in the eye.

“What, like you did your mother?”

Your heart dropped as you processed what Umbridge just said. “Y/n-“ Draco says, but you ignore him.

The sound of your chair scraping loudly on the floor echoes throughout the room as you get up, shoving your things in your bag.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Umbridge asked as you grabbed the door handle. “I didn’t say you could leave.”

“You- crossed- a fucking line- that should not- have been crossed.” Your voice was shaky, there were tears in your eyes.

“What? Are you upset? Because I’m trying to reveal the truth?” You spin around, feeling the tears roll down your face as your classmates watch.

“YOU CROSSED A FUCKING LINE DOLORES! YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED! YOU CROSSED A LINE! A LINE, THAT MIGHT I ADD, SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN CROSSED?!” You were practically screaming, and you swung the door open before slamming it shut behind you, a resounding boom coming from behind you as you run down the stairs.

You didn’t know where you were going, but you were getting away from her, so it had to be better, right?

😢

You sit under one of the tables in the Great Hall, head on your arms, arms on your knees. You tried to muffle your sobs. You didn’t need the whole school knowing you were crying.

“Y/n! Y/n!” you heard Harry shout, and you cover your mouth, begging yourself to shut up.

“Where did she go?” Ron asks, and you see his shoes walk past the table. You pull your knees closer to your chest, making sure your shoes weren’t visible. “I’m not sure. Draco, did you already check the Slytherin common room?”

“Yes, Potter. Did you check Gryffindor’s?” “She’s not there!” Hermione’s voice yelled, her footsteps running in. “She’s got to be around here somewhere, we’ve checked basically everywhere.”

You wince hearing a hiccup slip out of your throat, and four pairs of feet turn to where you were hiding.

“Y/n?” Ron’s voice was soft as you saw him squat down, looking under the table. You cover your face, trying to dry your tears. God, this was embarrassing. “Hey, it’s okay, we’re not mad.”

You look over when you feel Hermione scoot in next to you, sitting on her ankles as she bent forwards. Harry followed, and so did Draco. You felt another sob rise in your throat as Hermione rubbed your back, Draco’s head on your shoulder.

You sat there like that, in silence, for a while. When you were finally able to see straight, you rubbed your nose.

“I’m sorry.” you mutter, burying your face into your jeans. “Hey, none of that. It’s not your fault, stop blaming yourself. She-“

“But it is my fault, Harry! She died trying to stop me from getting hurt because I didn’t listen to her. It’s my fault!” you say, your hands fisting the ends of your pant legs. You explain what had happened.

😢

You’d been playing in the road, and a truck was barreling down the road, way too fast for how dark it was. You’d followed a kitten, trying to befriend it so it would come with you. You’d always loved animals.

Your mother had seen, and rushed outside, shoving you out of the way just before you got hit. But, because of that, she’d been run over, dying almost immediately. The car had screeched to a stop, and the rest you’d forgotten, which was a small mercy.

😢

“Y/n, it’s not your fault. She crossed a line, she’s the one in the wrong here. Not you. You were just a kid.” Draco says, and you sniff, snot running out of your nose.

“It was-“ “Not your fault. Now stop blaming yourself, or I’m going to like you.” Ron says, and you laugh. “There, that’s better. Now, who’s going to tell Dumbledore?”

You crawl out from under the table, helping Hermione up, then Ron. “I call dibs, my eyes are still red and I want to be the one to get that hag kicked out.”

“That’s the girl I know and am slightly terrified of!” Draco jokes, and you shove him lightly.

😢

Anyways, thank you for reading, and lmk what you thought of this Hogwarts fic! Have a wonderful day, lovelies! Don’t forget to ask me if you want to be tagged later!

@vbecker10 @silverfire475 @huntress-artemiss @vickie5446 @sheris532 @lokixryss @lokidokieokie @stupidthoughtsinwriting @crimson25 @peaches1958 @iamlokisgloriouspurpose

#hogwarts #harry potter #hogwarts fic #harry potter fic #fluff #angst #fluff and angst #hogwarts angst #hogwarts fluff #harry potter fluff #harry potter angst #i dont know what to tag this #hurt/comfort #hermione granger #harry ron hermione #draco #harry ron hermione draco #golden trio #plus draco #draco my old crush #draco malfoy #ron weasley

[taylors-karma]

It’s time for my first official ranking after seeing the interviews! Here’s to hoping I’m right about some of these (and wrong about others). 

Stan Card Activated

1. Blue- I still really like her and y’all really like her and I trust the fandom with every fiber of my being so I know we are right, I can feel it. I wish she had gotten more screen time in the interview but if she’s a last-minute alternate addition, it just pushes her even further. 

I think I’m gonna like you 

2. Jag- He gave me really good vibes in his picture and he’s giving me good vibes in his interview too! I think he’s gonna be a really chill guy but I can also see him being a huge mastermind and doing well in the game. 

3. Bowie- I like her accent and she seems cool. I feel like I’ll vibe with her and she’ll be on the right side of the house. Don’t let me down woman!

4. Felicia- She seems sweet! She reminds me of all the nice older southern ladies I’ve met since moving to South Carolina. Nice and comforting. I feel like she won’t try to make waves in the beginning but I could see her getting pissed and telling someone off and I hope we get to. 

I want to like you but something’s off

5. Izzy- Like I said, the queer musician connection has me wanting to like her but her crescendo joke was so fucking bad and I fear she’s just another Kaycee. Idk tho maybe she’s the butch lesbian we all needed. I have hope for her. 

6. Mecole- The politician thing is throwing me off I’m not gonna lie. Also she still reminds me of Ameerah and I could totally see her being a bitch. However, I can also see her being an awesome strategist and actually getting some work done. If she’s a girlboss I’ll take her but if she’s just gonna drag people in the mud I will not. 

7. Kirsten- There wasn’t much that I got from her, but she does seem like someone who’d end up aligning with the wrong people. I feel like she’ll be the most tolerable member of the alliance we all end up hating and we’ll all be begging her to work with the other side/s the entire time. Please prove me wrong girl sdifjpef. 

Mid

8. Matt- I do really like the deaf representation, but he seems boring af. Not someone I can see myself caring about. Sorry. 

9. Cameron- I could see myself potentially hating this guy, but he seems unproblematic to me as of now. I could see him woking with annoying people but also being kind of a floater. He’s practically TBD lol.

I don’t know yet

10. Jared- Apparently his mom is a Survivor legend? I haven’t seen Survivor so I would have no idea of knowing how good this guy could be, but family doesn’t mean shit sometimes. I can’t read this guy yet so I’m still wary. I just don’t want another Monte y’all. 

11. Hisam- After watching the interview I have definitely changed my opinion about him, but I’m still wary. He seems like he could be another Michael maybe? I could also see him becoming irrelevant or being part of the annoying big alliance. Idk I can’t tell I think I’m going crazy. 

Can’t stand your ass already

12. Red- I just know he’s going to be annoying. Is he going to be Frenchie? Cliff? Idk, but I don’t care for him either way. Out. 

13. Reilly- She’s going to be in the stupid popular alliance and is gonna get into some stupid showmance and rat on the other girls. Useless!!!! Next. 

14. America- I literally can’t stand her voice or her personality already. She reminds me of Alyssa from last season so much it hurts. She’s gonna get into a dumb showmance, be a bitch to everyone, start every rumor and bully train, etc. I just know it. 

15. Luke- Nah this guy is literally just Kyle. I’m waiting for it. 

16. Cory- I don’t give a fuck that his brother was on Survivor; I couldn’t stand looking at him or watching him talk. Literally didn’t hear a single word he said because I was so appalled by what I was seeing. How is someone just built like that. I’m sorry ksdjfposdjgdfg I know he can’t control these things but I have a feeling I will be proven right. Cory, make me feel guilty about this please. 

#bb25 #big brother #bbus #bb rankings #don't take these too seriously

[vinnieslove]

hi!! could i request y/n having insomnia and vin waking up to see her still scrolling through tik tok? y/n begs him to go back to sleep, but he insists taking them both on a late night car ride? and when they get in the car, he starts playing the “3am rides” playlist he made for both of them! in the car vinnie’s holding y/n’s hand and telling her how pretty she is? idk. just lots of lots of fluff :) tysm <33

3am car rides

masterlist

join my taglist here!!

vinnie hacker x reader

summary; insomnia is a pain but vinnie always finds a way to make you feel better

warnings; like two swear words, pet names (love, baby)

authors note; this is so cute bc it’s so relatable

this is my work please don’t steal it thank you very much!!

~

another sleepless night for you. this wasn't uncommon at all. it felt damn near impossible for you to fall asleep sometimes. no matter how many melatonin pills, lavender scented candles, or relaxing youtube videos you consume nothing works.

vinnie always hated this. he hated seeing you all groggy and zombie like throughout the day and you were up all night.

you occasionally had naps throughout the day. they'd only last an hour but it was still sleep. during the night you'd get a maximum of 3 hours of sleep; definitely not the recommended hours of sleep.

you were usually good at keeping quiet whenever you were up at night and vinnie was sleeping. there were a couple times vinnie woke up but went right back to sleep after cuddling in your side.

tonight was a bit of a different night. you were still restless, tossing and turning, trying different sleep methods, but you still couldn’t sleep. usually when you couldn’t sleep you’d pull out your current read and little book light and go to town. but tonight, you couldn’t even focus on your book.

you sighed heavily, being as quiet as possible, grabbed your phone and headed downstairs. you would never open tik tok or youtube while vinnie was lying asleep next to you.

sitting down at the kitchen island with the bowl on instant mac and cheese you made, you opened tik tok. you didn’t know how much time had passed but soon you heard gentle footsteps approach the kitchen.

vinnie immediately felt when you left the bed, it was almost like a sixth sense for him. he assumed you were headed to the bathroom so he tried to fall back asleep but was unsuccessful when many minutes had passed and you hadn’t returned to bed. he could only assume you were in the kitchen or living room. vinnie pulled on a plain black shirt and some socks and headed downstairs.

“what are you doing down here, love?” his voice was raspy and his eyes were practically still closed as he rubbed them trying to get them open.

you were still finishing up your max and cheese with a tik tok playing in the background when you looked up at his sleepy figure. he was slightly swaying back and forth and one hand was in his hair while the other rubbed his eyes. his shirt raised slightly showing a bit of his stomach. he almost looked angelic in this sleepy state.

“i couldn’t sleep or read, so i came down here and made myself some food and now i’m watching tik tok.” you shrugged it off like it was nothing. vinnie just grumbled a bit in response, nothing being intelligible. he makes his way over to your sitting figure and wraps his arms around your waist from behind, letting his head rest against your upper back. his eyes closed but not in attempt to sleep, just to rest his eyes.

by the time you finished your mac and cheese, vinnie was practically awake now. “c’mon—” he lets go of your waist and holds and hand out for you to join whatever activity he has in mind. “—let’s go.”

confused, you took his hand and he lead you to the front door. he grabbed his keys of the key hook by the door. you finally get the sense of what he’s doing, he’s going to drive you around. “my mom used to do this to me as a baby when i couldn’t sleep,” vinnie started. “she used to set me in my car seat and drive around the block. it put me to sleep almost instantly.”

“i also have a special playlist for you, for nights like this.” he smiled, opening up his music app and selecting the playlist titled ‘3am car rides <3’.

the first song to play was space song by beach house. he knew it was one of your favorite songs. “special, huh?”

“it’s for a very special girl.” he looked over at you with a smile that could barely be seen, yet you could still see his beautiful features in the moon light.

vinnie started up his car and began driving. there was no real destination nor certain path he was taking, he just drove. “so what’d you do today, baby?” he asked while grabbing on of your hands to hold.

“well—” you started to think of all the things you did today. “—i ran a couple errands, i helped jett with something he was working on, and i made my amazing boyfriend supposedly the best sandwich he’s ever had—”

“— i don’t know what it was you did differently to my sandwich but it was the fucking best thing i’ve ever eaten! better than anything i could’ve gotten out.”

you both laughed at how excited he was over the sandwich. “so tell me about yours now.” you squeezed his hand a bit. a simple gesture you two had symbolizing any sort of love. wether it me a silent ‘i love you’ or just a simple act to show any sort of appreciation or excitement of some sort.

“well, first—” vinnie rambled on and on about how long and adventurous day. how he and jack ran all over town looking for something and ended up being in the first place they looked. how he had to fix one of his cars today. his time on stream and stuff about the game he was playing. he also talked about some of the tik toks he filmed today and future projects he was thinking about.

midway through his ramble you started to get sleepy, this going unnoticed by vinnie due to his eyes on the road and his rambling. vinnie always had a habit of rambling. he hated it but you always thought it was cute how he went on and on about whatever topic.

by the time vinnie was done rambling, you had fully dozed off. he was stopped at a stoplight finally getting the chance to look over at you. he looked over fully expecting you to be awake and engaged in his ramble. but to his surprise, you were curled up and asleep. you legs had been pulled up in the seat and were leaning against the car door while your head was facing the same direction with you eyes closed and your mouth slightly ajar. your hand still intertwined with vinnies.

he looked over at your sleeping state and thought about how angelic and gentle you looked. he loved the small snores that escaped your mouth and how sometimes your nose would twitch in your sleep.

vinnie drove home trying not to be loud with his car in attempt to keep you asleep. you were, thankfully, still asleep when vinnie pulled into the driveway. he carried your sleeping figure into the house and onto your shared bed. vinnie pulled off your socks knowing how much you hate sleeping with them and gently tucked you in. as vinnie climbed into his side of the bed and got settled, you rolled over to cuddle into him.

vinnies heart swelled at your sleeping figure curled into his side, a sight he rarely got to see. “thank you.” you whispered before falling back asleep. you thanked him for finally being able to fall asleep. vinnie kissed to top of your head and slowly drifted off to sleep himself.

and for the first time in a few years, you finally got a good nights sleep all thanks to your wonderful boyfriend and his adorable rambling.

~

tag list: @maybankprincess @corbsharlow @babyyhollandd @peachyplumsss @fictionalwh0ree

#vinniehacker #vhackerr #vinnie hacker #vinnie hacker one shot #vinnie #vinnie hacker fluff #vinnie hacker x reader #vinnie hacker imagines #vinnie hacker imagine #vinnie x reader

[lunar-pantheon]

.

#trying to figure out how to not eat without wasting food tomorrow at lunch #bc my mom packs my lunch purely bc she knows that i just wouldnt if she kept not making it #but i dont wanna eat #i managed to skip dinner tonight bc ppl were just eating as they got hungry #ed mention #i guess? #idk #i dont think i actually have one ive been eating almost 3 meals a day for a few weeks now #but it was a Mistake #idk i just feel like shit and im tired #my insurance company sent a letter in the mail telling my parents that i need to lose weight and to put me on a diet #today has been shit and i hate it i really do #i hate the nightmares i had last night and the transphobia from math class and my mom bringing up the stupid test #and i hate that i never wanna eat again and i hate that my parents couldnt tell that i was crying #i hate how incompetent i am and how i cant seem to be able to lie to my theater teacher #i hate that i was serious to some degree when i joked that a noose was my weekend plans #i hate that i woke up and practically begged my mom to not make me go to school because im too damn tired and too damn depressed #and i hate that i have to finish this damn book series before i can die #if i even have the guts to do it in the first place #hell yell #this was negative lmao

[simpforboys]

enough for you (3)

she/her pronouns

summary: y/n and jj finally come around

warnings: smut, praise kink, breeding kink, choking, dirty talk, oral (fem) unprotected sex. fluff, swearing, etc.

a/n: last part! hopefully u guys enjoyed! (im also not used to writing smut so i hope it’s okay)

part one and two

“i love you…” jj felt the words escape his mouth before he could stop them.

-

that was a week ago. jj had been hopelessly slugging around. the pogues felt horrible for him, not knowing what to do.

it was like stepping on egg shells around him. one minute he’s drunk or stoned out of his mind, the next he’s like a ticking bomb just waiting to snap at any little thing.

jj wasn’t jj anymore. and the pogues hated it.

john b walked out to see jj passed out on the pull out couch, empty beer bottles scattered around him.

john b rolled his eyes. he walked over, lightly slapping the blond until he woke up.

“what the fuck, man?” jj asked.

“i’m tired of seeing you like this, dude. now, you’re gonna get your shit together, grow up, and talk to y/n like a big boy or are you gonna mope around all the time?”

jj rolled his eyes. “i’m not moping-“

“you’re moping,” pope said as he entered the chateau.

“are you finally giving him the talk?” sarah and kie asked as they came out of nowhere.

jj furrowed his brows.

“guys- i’m fine.”

“no you’re not. you’re acting like a six year old who lost a baby toy. just go talk to her,” kie said.

jj bit the inside of his cheek.

“fine.”

-

so here jj was, standing outside her house at nine pm. it took him all day to muster up the courage, and just when he thought it was silly of him to be there, y/n opened the door.

“what the hell are you doing, creeper?” she asked.

jj scratched the back of his neck. “i wanted to talk but… i realize that sounds kinda pathetic.”

y/n looked at him in confusion. “come on, jj.”

she opened the door so he could walk in. the poorly lit living room and kitchen illuminated the hallway until they reached her room.

sitting down awkwardly on her bed, jj stared at her.

“i’m sorry,” he whispered. y/n looked over at him.

“jj, it’s fine-“

“it’s not fine, y/n. i treated you like shit, and now i think i get how you felt. i’ve felt horrible the last month and… and i miss you, y/n. i’m in love with you, i just never realized it until you were gone.”

“jj… i’ve moved on,” she whispered.

jj felt his heart break.

jj watched as her lips curved into a smirk. “i’m kidding, come here…” she grabbed his jaw.

hungrily, jj’s hand came up to y/n’s neck as they kissed. jj was craving this moment. he needed this moment.

“asshole,” he joked. she laughed.

y/n was feeling like putty in his hands and he knew it. she practically felt like she was melting into him as he pushed her backwards on the bed.

his hands slowly pushed the fabric up as she felt him roam her body. “is this okay?” he whispered into the kiss.

“more than okay,” she whispered back as he grinned into the kiss.

“i’ve wanted to do this for so long,” she admitted as he kissed down her neck.

“i don’t want you to feel like i’m using you,” he said.

y/n rolled her eyes. “i know you’re not, j.”

jj made the effort as he kissed every part of her skin. she sighed happily, relaxing into the bed.

“let me take care of you, love,” he said, pulling down her pajama shorts. he looked up at her one more time as she gave him approval.

“touch me, please, j,” she begged.

jj smirked, taking his middle finger and running it up and down her slit. “so wet,” he cooed.

she bucked her hips up; craving more. “is your mom here?” he asked, taking off his shirt.

“no. she’s probably out getting cracked out,” y/n replied, feeling her clit throb.

“jj-“

“shhh, don’t rush me, love,” he teased, gently rubbing her clit.

“fuck,” she quietly moaned.

he flicked her bud as she rolled her hips. he grabbed his arm, holding her down as he began to lap at her pussy.

“taste so sweet, love,” he told her.

y/n whimpered as jj took his finger and entered her.

“such pretty sounds coming from your mouth. be louder,” he said, quickening his fingers pace as his tongue swirled around her clit.

“jj- fuck.”

he hummed against her, sucking on her bud.

“i’m so close,” she moaned.

“close? baby, i just started,” he smirked. y/n was a whimpering mess under him, and he took pride knowing only he was making her feel this way.

“j-“

“cum, y/n.”

he felt her clench around him, her back arching as her eyes snapped shut. “such a pretty girl,” he cooed, licking his fingers.

y/n cupped his jaw, kissing him tenderly. “i love you, j.”

“i love you too, baby.”

“now please fuck me,” she said.

jj grinned, pulling his shorts off followed by his boxers. his tip was oozing pre cum and it was bright pink.

“ready?” he asked, taking her hand in his; interlacing their fingers.

y/n nodded, kissing him again as he slowly slid into her. she moaned softly as his head fell into her neck.

“fuck,” he groaned.

y/n felt her face grow warm. “faster,” she pleaded.

so wrapped up in the moment, jj took his hand and placed it on her neck. she gasped as he immediately took it off.

“choke me, jj,” she whispered. he smirked, pounding into her faster. his hand gripped at her neck, squeezing as she grabbed his hips.

“such a good girl. look so pretty with my cock going in and out of you,” he praised.

“takin’ me so well,” he continued on. y/n was in pure bliss as she felt her stomach grow tight.

“i’m gonna cum, j.”

“cum for me, pretty girl.”

jj took his thumb and rubbed fast circles on her clit. letting out a loud moan, she clenched around him.

“yeah, that’s it. i’m gonna cum, y/n. i’m gonna fuck some kids into this pretty pussy.”

“please, jj,” she scratched his back, driving him further to the edge.

jj whimpered as warm spurts of cum shot out of him. he stopped his movements, sucking hickeys onto her neck.

flopping down next to y/n, he felt her lay onto his bare chest. a thin layer of sweat coated their skin as they breathed heavily.

“i love you, jj.”

“i love you too, y/n.”

jj peppered her scalp with kisses as she laughed against him. y/n heard her phone buzzing as she unlocked it.

kie: hello??!! y/n??? jj????

jb: i hope jj wore protection

pope: is jj dead yet???

sarah: can yall chill you probably just ruined the moment

y/n: we’re alive assholes

kie: FINALLY OMG

jb: how was it??? i hope you guys were practicing safe kissing ;)

sarah: you’re gross

y/n and jj laughed reading their friend’s texts.

“i’ll steal you some plan b in the morning,” he told her, putting her phone back on the nightstand.

“romantic,” she laughed, feeling his lips on her face.

-

the next morning when y/n woke up, she went to the bathroom. looking into the mirror, she noticed the letter j was bruised onto her neck.

walking into the kitchen, jj was trying to make some eggs. “you sly bastard,” she joked, motioning to her neck as she saw his almost black eggs.

jj smirked. “i uh, tried to cook for you. clearly it didn’t go as planned,” he motioned to the burnt food.

“we can pick something up on the way to john b’s,” y/n grinned, kissing her new boyfriend.

#jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #obx #no spoilers #jj maybank x you #jj maybank x y/n #outer banks

[ray-ray-writings]

Defending Family-Technoblade, Wilbur Soot, and Tommyinnit

This is a Brother!Technoblade & Brother!Wilbur Soot &Brother!Tommyinnit x gn!reader. This is not in the dreamsmp but it is in the SBI AU where Philza is the father of Wilbur, Technoblade, Tommy and in this imagine, Y/N! In this, Y/N is younger than Wilbur and Techno but older than Tommy

When Y/N hears the school bully talking shit about their family… Well it’s no surprise when that bully gets hit. 

Y/N’s POV

“Y/N! Wake up!” The annoying voice of my even more annoying brother sounded as a pillow smacked me in the face waking me from my sleep. My eyes shot open and I made contact with Tommy’s blue eyes, “Ow Tommy! What the hell?!?” I exclaimed, sitting myself up, rubbing the bridge of my nose trying to ease the throbbing pain. Tommy simply threw his head back and cackled before bolting out of the room. 

I let out a sigh before throwing the blankets off of me before getting out of bed to get ready for the day. It didn’t take long. I stripped off my PJs and threw on a random outfit before making my way to the bathroom to do my business. As I was brushing my hair, Tommy pounded on the door, “HURRY UP Y/N! I need in there!” He yelled from the other side of the door. I rolled my eyes and yelled back, “You should have thought of that before you woke me up! You can wait!” Tommy continued to knock on the door, annoying me even further. 

Finally, once I was done, I swung the door open causing Tommy to stumble forward. I smirked as he caught himself and looked at me in annoyance, “Finally!” He let out, walking further in while I walked out. “Shut up,” I responded, the door slamming closed behind me. 

I made my way downstairs to the kitchen where I found my father over the stove and my two other brothers sitting at the kitchen island waiting for my dad to finish making breakfast. “Good morning,” I beamed, sitting on the stool in between Wilbur and Techno causing everyone to turn to me for a moment. Dadza grinned at me before going back to his skillet, “Morning honey, how’d you sleep?” “I slept fine. I would have preferred a different wake up call though,” I answered, rolling my eyes at the thought. My older brothers both let out laughs as Dadza sighed, “What did he do this time?” Dadza questioned, turning around, bringing the pan with him. “He smacked my face with a pillow and yelled at me… Nothing new, but still not something preferred.” Dadza nodded as he scooped eggs from the skillet onto the plate before me. He then proceeded to turn and also place a pancake and a couple slices of bacon on my plate as well. “Thank you,” I thanked sincerely, picking up my fork and knife, digging in. “Anytime kiddo.” 

As the three of us ate, footsteps bounded down the stairs behind. “Morning,” Tommy called, sitting on the open stool next to Wilbur. “Morning,” the three responded. Dadza moved quickly and filled Tommy’s plate with breakfast before moving to fill his own. “Sleep well Tommy?” He asked, sitting on the one stool that sat across from us. “Yep! Had an amazing dream where I married a hot woman and then I woke up and smacked Y/N in the face to wake them up. Pretty Pogchamp morning,” Tommy babbled, his mouth full of eggs as he spoke. Dadza made a face of disgust, “Please don’t speak with your mouth full Tommy. And please stop smacking your sibling in the face to wake them up, you know they hate it.” “Oh I know they hate it. That’s why I keep doing it,” Tommy announced, smirking at me from the other side of our brother. “If Wilbur wasn’t here right now, I’d smack you,” I hissed, glaring at my little brother. “But he is and so you can’t do anything,” Tommy teased, sticking his tongue out at me. I looked up to Wilbur, my eyes pleading at him to do something. Wilbur got the message and raised his hand and smacked the back of Tommy’s head, causing him to yelp. “Hey!” “You asked for it!” 

“Kids! Kids! Please, can we just have a calm morning for once?” our dad slightly pleaded. I let out a deep breath and nodded, “Anything for you dad,” I muttered before shoving more pancake into my mouth. Tommy huffed, but also went back to his breakfast. “Now that that’s over, what are you doing today?” Techno questioned, looking to our father. Philza smiled at the change of topic, “Well there are a few new clients at work that I have been in charge of so I’ll mostly be pretty busy all day. I’ll be home in time for dinner though, do you guys want me to pick something up or can you handle it.” Before Tommy or I could ask for pizza, Techno and Wilbur spoke up at the same time, “We can handle it.” I couldn’t help but huff and slightly pout. I really wanted pizza. 

I didn’t have time to dwell on it though because an alarm went off causing the four of us kids to jump into action. The alarm was set in order to get us out of the house because if we didn’t leave at that specific time, we would be late for school. Techno and Wilbur no longer went to high school, they both graduated three years ago. But the two still took us to school everyday so Dadza wouldn’t have to worry about it. Wilbur was the only one that could drive, and as much as he hates to admit it, Techno hates being left alone so he always came along. 

The four of us finished the food on our plates, placing them in the sink. “Bye Dadza,” I chimed, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek before heading to the door. I could hear the other three doing the same before they joined me by the door. I slipped on my back pack, Tommy doing the same, before exiting the house and piling into Wilbur’s car. The ride to school consisted of Wilbur, Tommy, and I screaming along to whatever music was playing, and Techno pretending to be annoyed by the three of us. 

“Alright. Get out,” Wilbur demanded, putting the car in park outside the front of the high school. “Thank you Will. Bye Tech! Love you both!” I chimed before getting out of the car. “Bye Y/N, love you too” They responded before I shut the door. Tommy echoed what I had said, getting the same response before he closed his door as well. Wilbur drove away leaving Tommy and I standing there. “Come on Tommathy” I stated before walking toward the entrance of the school. “Don’t call me that” Tommy demanded, but followed close behind me. I threw my head back in laughter and shook my head. “I’ll do what I please thank you.” 

Once we were inside, Tommy and I went separate ways. He went to his locker to meet up with his best friend, Tubbo and I went to mine meeting up with my best friend, Sapnap. Sapnap and I became best friends due to our brothers. Dream and George were pretty good friends with Wilbur and Techno and when they went places Dadza sometimes forced them to take me with them so he could take care of Tommy. Dream and George would in turn bring their younger brother, Sapnap, so that we would stay out of their way. We grew very close through all the hang out time and it was like I had yet another brother. 

“Hey dork,” I greeted my best friend as I opened my locker. “Hey loser. Have a good night?” He greeted back, leaning against the locker next to me. I hummed and nodded at his question, “Yeah, it was pretty good. Did you get the math homework done?” I asked, closing my locker and turning to him. A panicked look over took his face, “We had math homework?” I couldn’t help but laugh at my best friend’s forgetfulness. “Yes we did. And lucky for you I did it… Yes you can copy it.” I answered his unasked question. Sapnap immediately relaxed. A chuckle escaped his lips as he slung an arm around my shoulder, “You’re the best.” “Yeah, yeah.” 

Together the two of us made our way to our first class, but a familiar voice caused me to stop in my tracks, “Come on man. Just give it back!” It was Tommy. Sapnap gave me a confused look as I turned around and marched toward the sound of my brother’s voice. My blood began to boil at the sight in front of me. There, in front of my brother, stood Chad, the school bully. In his hand was one of Tommy’s most prized possessions, his music disc. That was the last thing that our mom gave to him before she passed. He loved it so dearly and was very careful with it. Why was it here and why the hell does Chad have it? 

“Oh what? You gonna cry about it? Cry like you did when your mommy died?” Chad taunted, holding the disc close to his chest. It didn’t take a detective to tell that Tommy’s eyes were welling with tears. “Please, just give it back,” Tommy practically begged, holding his hand out. “Oh I’ll give it back alright. I’ll give it back in pieces.” Chad brought the disc out and put both hands on it. Before he could begin to bend it, I snapped. “HEY!” I shouted, stomping up to the three boys, Sapnap following behind me. Chad stopped what he was doing, surprised at the new voice, but the smirk returned to his face once he recognized who it was. “Well, looky at what we have here,” He taunted. Paying no mind to his taunt, “Give me the music disc. Now.” I demanded, glaring at the boy. Chad simply threw his head back and laughed, “No, I don’t think I will.” 

“You’re a jerk Chad,” Sapnap spoke up, momentarily distracting the bully, allowing me to rip the disc from Chad’s hands. “Hey!” He let out, his head whipping back to me. “Here Tommy,” I spoke gently, handing the possession back to its rightful owner. Tommy carefully took it before wrapping it back up and sliding it carefully in his book bag. “Thanks Y/N” Tommy thanked quietly. “Anytime Tommy. Let’s go boys,” I demanded before slightly pushing Tommy and Tubbo so they would walk in front of me. 

“That’s right! Run away! Just like your father did when things got tough!” Chad called from behind us. His words caused me to stop in my tracks. “What did you just say?” I hissed over my shoulder. Chad simply smirked and crossed his arms, “You heard me, your father’s a coward. So are your other brothers. Wilbur and Techno? Yeah they’re freaks and you’re just like them,” He responded smugly. I felt a tug on my arm. I looked back in front of me and found Tommy standing there with an extremely worried look on his face. “Come on Y/N. It’s not worth it.” I let out a deep breath before nodding and taking a few steps forward once more. 

As I was walking, a force shoved me from behind causing me to stumble, “That’s right, walk away.” For the third time today, I stopped walking. A smirk covered my face as I slid my backpack off of my back. I mean hey, he started it by pushing me. “What? Did I make you upset? What are you-” I didn’t let Chad finish. 

In one swift motion, I turned on my heel and punched Chad in the face as hard as I could. Chad stumbled back in utter shock, his hand coming up to cover his nose. When he pulled his hand back, it was covered in blood. “You punched me!” He shouted incredulously. “You punched me in the face!” “And I’ll do it again!” In one quick moment, we both rushed forward at each other. Punches were being thrown left and right. A few landed on me, but I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was defending my family. 

At one point, I stomped on Chad’s toes causing him to lose balance and I pushed him to the ground on his back. I dropped on top of him, straddling his chest and just began wailing on him. “Y/N! Y/N stop! You’ve got him! Stop!” Someone yelled from behind me. I didn’t care to listen to them, the sight of Chad helpless under me too much to pass up. As I wound up for another punch, my arm was being pinned to my side and I was pulled off of the bully. “Let me go!” I screeched, trying so hard to wiggle out of the person’s arms. They turned me around to face them and grabbed my shoulders, shaking me slightly. “Y/N!” It was Sapnap, “It’s over. You knocked him out. It’s done!” His words finally hit me and I stopped fighting in his arms. 

I looked over at Chad and noticed his eyes were closed and his face was bloody and beaten. I looked down at my hands and found them also covered in blood and my knuckles were busted and would surely bruise. I also knew from the feeling that my face was also covered in blood. I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at what had just happened. Sapnap looked at me like I was actually crazy. I gave him a little shrug, “Oops.” “Y/N MINECRAFT! TO THE OFFICE NOW!” 

So there I found myself sitting in the principal’s office, holding an ice pack to my knuckles. Tommy, Tubbo, Sapnap had given their testimony as to what had happened to the principal before they were sent back to class. Chad was still laid up in the nurse’s office. He was waiting there until his parents could come. They had informed me they had to call my parents as well. I begged them not to call my dad, I knew today was a big important day for his business. The secretary, who knew me very well and knew I was a good kid, agreed and instead called my big brothers to come pick me up. That almost made me more nervous than if my father were to pick me up. 

It didn’t take long for Wilbur and Techno to show up. Neither of them looked at me when they walked in, which caused a pit to form in my stomach. The principal gave them a very brief description as to what had happened, just that I had got in a physical fight and was suspended for today and the next two days. “Let’s go,” Wilbur muttered as he passed me, walking out the door, Techno following behind him. I scrambled up quickly, wishing the secretary goodbye before following my brother’s out the door. 

The car ride back home was deadly silent. The radio wasn’t even on. Wilbur and Techno didn’t talk to me or each other the entire ride. Wilbur pulled into our driveway, parked, and killed the engine. He remained in his seat though, and didn't make a move to get out of the car, causing me to remain seated as well. “This isn’t like you, Y/N. What the hell happened?” Wilbur asked quietly, not turning to look at me. “He took Tommy’s disc,” I murmured quietly. “What? Speak up,” Wilbur demanded, looking at me through the rear-view mirror. “He took Tommy’s disc!” I spilled, getting it off my chest. “He took Tommy’s disc and wouldn’t give it back. So I got it back and then when we were walking away, he made fun of dad and you two and Tommy pulled me along, but then Chad shoved me so I turned around and punched him. When he continued to come at me, I fought him. I knocked him out. But he deserved it. He can’t just make fun of you and Techno and dad and Tommy and get away with it and-” “Y/N!” Techno interjected, cutting me off. “Yeah?” I asked, kind of breathless. “He took Tommy’s disc? And then made fun of our family? And proceeded to shove you?” Techno questioned, making sure he understood the story. I nodded, “Yeah”

There was a brief moment of silence before Techno broke out in a laugh, causing Wilbur to grin. “Well good on you then!” Techno cheered, belly laughing. “You’re not mad?” I questioned, still a bit hesitant. Wilbur let out a sigh and shook his head no, “I was at first… Well maybe not. I think I was more surprised than anything. We’ve never had that problem with you and it shocked me to the core to get that phone call. If anything I thought it would be Tommy first.” We all had a laugh about that. “But hearing you did that to defend us. Our family. How could I be mad at that?” 

Wilbur took off his seatbelt and got out of the car, causing Techno and I to do the same. As I got out, Wilbur scooped me up in a big hug. Techno quickly made his way around the car and joined our hug. “I’m so proud of you for defending yourself and your family. Although, next time I would prefer it if you did it without the violence,” Wilbur claimed, pressing a soft kiss to the top of my head. “I wouldn’t. The more violence the better!” Techno chimed in. Giggles escaped my lips at that, of course he would say something like that. “I think I’ll try and lay low for a while. Although now everyone knows not to mess with Y/N Minecraft!” The other two joined in my laughter. “Come on Y/N. Let’s get you cleaned and bandaged up and then we’ll go for ice cream.” Wilbur said, pulling away from the hug and dragging me toward the house. I raised my eyebrow as we got inside, “It’s 8 in the morning?” Wilbur shook his head and rolled his eyes as he sat me down in the kitchen, Techno leaving to get the first aid kit. “There is never a wrong time for ice cream”

There you have it! I hope you enjoyed! If so, please be sure to leave a like!!

#mcyt #mcyt imagine #mcyt one shot #mcyt x reader #techno #technoblade #technoblade imagine #technoblade one shot #technoblade x reader #wilbur soot #wilbur soot imagine #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot one shot #tommyinnit #tommyinnit imagine #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit one shot #philza #philza one shot #philza imagine #sbi #sbi au #sleepy bois inc #defending family #ray-ray-writings #ray writings #ray ray writings #family au

[inkandpen22]

The Princess and The Pogue (pt. 5)

Pairing: JJ x Female!Reader / Topper x Female!Reader

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: swearing, violence, mild smut

Part Summary: You and Topper make amends. You two attend the end of the summer bonfire at the Boneyard. When JJ sees you guys together, things take a turn for the worst. 

Masterlist

Somehow, after hours of crying, you finally fell asleep on your bed. You're not quite sure when it happened. Your covers tucked nicely under you, wet from your tears. When you first got home, you immediately snuck up to your room, far from your parents. You ripped off your Labor Day dress, having already hated it, but you also took your aggression out on it. You changed in one of Topper's T-shirts that you stole sometime last summer... when you were hooking up. You had never been so close. Morning, noon, and night you were together. You were practically dating but without the titles. Actually, it was far deeper than that. You spent almost every hour together, you co-existing. You were acting married even though you were only teenagers. You guys just loved each other that much. If someone had told you then that a year from now you two wouldn't be talking, you would've thought they were crazy. 

“Y/N!" You hear Topper in your dreams.  "Y/N!" He repeats, then you process it's real. 

"What the-" You rise from your laid position and spot the boy climbing in from your window in the dark. "Topper?" 

"Hey! Sorry to scare you," he apologizes as he rises to his feet from a crawling position on your floor. 

"Did you climb through the window?" You question, this wouldn't be the first time, but it nevertheless is mind-boggling to you how he can climb up the side of your house. 

"Yeah, can you tell your mom to not have the gardeners cut the vines so short?" He complains with a chuckle, brushing down his Patagonia shirt. 

"What are you doing here?" You yawn. Considering what he said to you just hours before, you can't help but wonder why the fuck he's here. 

"I... I need to apologize," he stammers, taking a seat on the edge of your bed just by your legs. "Y/N, I'm so sorry! I was such a jerk to you earlier. I shouldn't have-" 

Before he can even finish, you leap at him, pulling him into a pleading hug. "Jesus, I'm so happy you're here," you whisper against his shoulder. 

Topper instantly wraps his arms around you, engulfing you. He releases a deep breath, not having realized until this moment that he couldn't breathe the entire time you weren't talking. "I've missed you!" He pulls back and brushes his hand across your cheek, bringing your hair back. "I missed you the moment you left!" He wears a smile of relief as his eyes glisten with tears threatening to fall. 

"Never let me go again," you mutter, almost as a beg. 

"I could never. I didn't," Topper explains in a rushed whisper, gripping your waist. "As soon as you left I was a mess, ask the boys! They had to talk me off a cliff. I came by earlier but your parents said you were still at Kiara's... which I'm guessing you were with JJ and the other Pogues..." His face falters and he avoids your gaze at the mention of JJ. 

You bring your hand up and tuck your fingers under his chin, guiding him to look at you. His eyes meet you with defeat and it nearly breaks your heart. "JJ drove me back to John B's, but I had Sarah drive me home almost as soon as we got there." 

"So you and JJ..." He can't bring himself to ask. 

"We..." Your brows scrunch together as you realize you never really discussed it. "You know what, I didn't even know." Enough about JJ, you're just happy that Topper is here! You felt so empty all day, in a constant state of panic. Now, you can exist again. "I'm just relieved you're here, Top. I've felt sick to my stomach all day," you release a breathless laugh of relief. 

"No, yeah you're right, no one else matters," he shakes his head, reaching for your hand on his cheek and taking it in his hands. "As long as we're good then everything else will be okay." He lifts your hand to his lips and gives them a needy kiss. 

"Stay with me?" You ask softly as he does. 

You see him swallow hard, pausing with your hand his lips. His eyes flicker up to yours with a mixture of surprise and admiration. "I was hoping you'd ask." A faint grin appearing on the edge of his lips. 

You and Topper get ready for bed as you used to every night when he snuck into your room a lot more. You've shared a bed since breaking off your... arrangement. There was the ski trip and Bermuda, but on random nights when he couldn't sleep or missed you, Topper would find himself in your bed. You pull back your blankets, knowing to get on the side closest to the window, away from the door. Topper didn't need to think twice to move to the opposite side because ever in the case of an emergency, he's the closest to the door. He's always thinking of how to keep you safe and satisfied. As you climb in, Topper begins to remove his t-shirt and shorts. You can't help but watch as his clothes become a pile on his side. It's months since you two have done anything, but that doesn't mean you haven't thought about it. There have been opportunities, but you always try to be responsible and remember why you stopped. Topper doesn't notice your staring and wondering what it would feel like to run your fingers down his chest. He climbs in next to you and immediately guides you into his side. Instantly, you feel secure and wanted, which is all anyone ever needs. He brushes his fingertips up and down your spine gently while you rest your cheek against his bare chest. It's not a new feeling to you, but it certainly never gets old. 

"There's a bonfire tomorrow at the Boneyard, wanna go together?" The boy asks, glancing down at you. 

"As long as Rafe doesn't go wild as he did," you snicker, but you mean what you say. 

"Don't worry about him, we had a nice long chat once he sobered up this afternoon," he insinuates and you wish you would've seen Topper go off on him. Then, you comprehend that it might've only happened because Topper was mad at you and Rafe was getting the side effects. 

"He doesn't deserve you, Top." You mutter, lifting your head off his chest to place a quick kiss on his chest. 

"That's how I feel about myself with you," he confesses as he peers down at you. "You've always been there for me. When Sarah cheated, you were right there and pulled me through it. The way I spoke to you this morning. I-" 

"No, no, don't say that," you shake your hand repeatedly as you cup his cheek as you did before. He leans into your touch and you find yourself wishing to be closer to him, as though that's even possible. "I love you, Top. You're my best friend. I'll always be there for you. You've helped me in more ways than you could ever realize." 

"I love you too, Y/N," he smiles, leaning down and placing a kiss on your forehead. "So much..." he whispers against your skin. 

His eyes flicker down to your neck and you remember last night in the kitchen. You brush your hand across Topper's cheek, pulling his focus back to you. His eyes and features falter at the evidence of JJ on you. 

"I'm here with you! Okay? It's you and me," you try to emphasize. 

He nods slowly, still feeling an ache in his chest, but relieved to have you in his arms. You're it for Topper. He would do anything for you, drop anyone for you, nothing is too much. You alone are what drives him and are the reason he wakes up in the morning. He would never admit it aloud out of guilt, but when he was with Sarah, he always compared her to you. He doesn't fully know why he dated her, maybe because he felt you slipping away when you realized that you no longer wanted to hook up. He couldn't lose you so he tried to replace you, but he quickly realized that was impossible. No one could be you. 

_____________________________________

Topper woke up before you and let you sleep, pondering having you in his arms. Your legs entangled in his, your arm across his chest along with your cheek. In the light, he finally notices you wearing his shirt. A faint smile forms on his lips at the sight. He has you here with him, not with JJ or Rafe or anyone else who's pining after you. You're his. 

You've spent the entire day together on Topper's boat. It couldn't have been more perfect. The hours slipped by without either of you two noticing. Topper has been energized and enthusiastic about everything, all because he has you back. Around ten, you and Topper arrive at the Boneyard for the final bonfire of the summer. You wear distressed white short shorts over a black tank bodysuit with a matching black Chanel belt. All finished with the pearl earrings Topper gave you for Christmas last year.  

Topper keeps you close, his arm around your waist as you walk toward the crowd of teenagers. "I'm so lucky." 

You peer up at the boy with a giggle. "Why?" 

"I have the most beautiful girl in the OBX at my side," he flirts. 

You turn your attention ahead, struggling to hide your blushing. "You sound like Rafe." 

Topper steps around to walk backward in front of you. He locks his fingers through the loops of your shorts and pulls you into his chest. "At least he and I agree on something." He grins, resting his hands on your hips. 

You playfully roll your eyes but find it hard to hide your amusement. "You're such a cheese ball." 

"I'm gonna go get us some drinks," he announces before planting a quick peck to your temple. 

You nod, stepping back toward the shore as Topper holds onto your hands until the last minute. "Okay, I'll find us a spot by the water." 

"Be right there," he winks, offering you a mischievous smirk. 

For a second, you watch Topper jog off to the stack of coolers by the cement wall. Is it possible to be too dependent on someone? You know that if you and Topper stopped talking completely that you wouldn't physically die, but emotionally it would destroy you. You smile, knowing that you two will grow closer because of your fight. It taught you a valuable lesson. It took losing Topper for you to fully comprehend how much you need him. Turning on your heels, you head toward a log facing the shore. It's far enough from the chaos to give you and Topper some privacy, but close enough to still be included in the festivities. You two are both social butterflies, but today has been about you two and you want to keep it that way. You sit down on the log, content watching the small waves crashing against the sand just a few feet away. The light of the moon shimmers on the water, making it looks like lines of crystal. 

"Want a drink, Princess?" A familiar voice asks over your shoulder 

You glance up to see a 

"Wow, you look extra Kooky tonight," he remarks under his breath as he brings his cup to his mouth. 

You glare at him. "What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Let's play a game!" He blurts out. "How many items that Y/N is wearing are designer?"

You roll your eyes, realizing how drunk he is because JJ isn't like this. "How much have you had to drink?" 

"Just the right amount!" He answers swiftly before moving on. "My guess is all of them, but I can't be too sure. You'll have to take off your clothes so I can check what's underneath." 

"You wanna sit for a second? Maybe cool down a bit?" You offer, gesturing to the space beside you. 

His expression shifts from carefree to hurt. "Why do you care?" 

"JJ..." You sigh, peering up at the boy with immense guilt. 

"What?!" He tosses his arms up at his sides, losing some of his drink in the process. "You come here with Prince Charming, acting all coupley!" 

 "It's not like that-" You try to explain calmly. 

"Not according to Sarah!" He counters in a shout. You nervously check over at the crowd, making sure no one heard him burst. "You two planning your next trip to Bermuda?!" 

"What!" You whip your head back around toward JJ. "What did Sarah tell you?!" You fly up to your feet, stepping toward him defensively. 

"Did you sleep with him?!" JJ yells again and you're sure others heard him this time. 

"Excuse me?" You gasp at his audacity. 

"After you left John B's, did you go and find him?!" He elaborates with a breathless laugh. He steps closer to you, getting in your face. He doesn't care if others listen or if he's making you uncomfortable. "After you kissed me and slept in my bed, did you go and sleep with Topper?!" 

Abruptly, you feel a hand pressed to your back and see JJ being shoved backyard. 

"Hey! Back off man!" Topper growls, suddenly at your side. 

JJ catches himself from falling after a second of stumbling. "Oh and here he is now!" He laughs, tossing his cup to the side. "Your knight in shining armor!" 

"I think you should go, man!" Topper warns between his teeth. 

Topper's arm slips around you and grips your waist protectively. You watch JJ as he glares at Topper's arm around you. 

"Don't "man" me, alright! Touch me again and you'll lose a hand!" JJ threatens. 

"JJ!" John B calls for his friend as he runs toward you from down the beach. Kiara, Pope, and Sarah are close behind him. When JJ doesn't react. John B shouts again. JJ! Come on, let's go back over to the fire." 

"No! Not until she answers me!" JJ screams, yanking his arm free. 

Pope, Kiara, and Sarah watch in distress as JJ and Topper go back and forth. None of you are sure what to do. 

"Answer what!" Topper barks, stepping toward JJ defensively. You grab his arm, keeping him back. 

"Oh, I'm sorry! Is your name Y/N?" JJ laughs mockingly. "That Kook Academy doesn't do you guys any favors for your intelligence does it?" 

Pope steps around to block off his friend. "Just cool down, buddy!" 

"I knew you were Kook, Y/N, but I would've never marked you as slut," JJ shouts at you over Pope's shoulder. 

Topper breaks free of your hold, charging at JJ. John B grabs Pope and yanks him out of Topper's way. Now block-less, JJ runs at Topper. His face is red with aggravation. You could've never imagined seeing JJ look so enraged. The person he was with you the other night was entirely different. He was kind, gentle, understanding. You don't recognize him. Topper shoves JJ hard enough to make the boy fall back onto the sand. 

Topper tackles JJ into the ankle-deep water, immediately punching him in the jaw. The two grunt, struggling to get the upper hand. John B attempts to pull Topper off. 

"Topper!" You yell desperately. 

"JJ!" Kiara yells from the sidelines. 

"Enough!" John B barks at the pair as Pope runs to assist. 

The crowd by the bonfire starts to figure out what's going on a few yards away and rush over to watch. Pogues and Kooks each cheer for their fighter. Kelce and Rafe show up, pushing through the crowd to help out their friend. 

"Topper! Get off of him!" You plead as your best friend continues to press JJ's head under the water. 

JJ manages to punch Topper in the cheek, making the boy lose his balance for a second. Despite hating each other, Kelce and Rafe try to help out John B and Pope. 

"Guys! Quit!" Kelce commands, pulling at Topper. 

"Top, you'll kill him!" Sarah screams from beside Kiara. 

You want to go stand with them, but at this moment you're not sure if they want anything to do with you. Sarah and Kiara are Pogues. You're not just Y/N right now, their friend. You're a Kook during this Kook vs. Pogue fight. 

The boys manage to yank Topper off of JJ. The blonde Pogue flies up from beneath the surface, gasping for air. Topper falls back onto the sand in a seated position. Topper continues to fist JJ's collar and as he's shoved off, ripping JJ's shirt down the front. You notice the large purple and blue bruise on JJ's chest and freshly heeling cut down his neck to his collar bone. JJ frantically reaches behind himself, searching for something. Then, things take a turn for the worst when he whips out a gun. The crowd that watched the fight with amusement now scatters in a panic. 

"Woah! Woah! Woah!" Topper's eyes grow wide as he starts to scoot back, holding up a hand pleadingly. 

Kelce and Rafe bolt away, John B and Pope rush out words, trying to calm JJ down. 

"JJ!" John B yells at his friend. "What the hell?!" 

"Oh my god!" Sarah's hands fly up to her mouth. 

"That's right! Bet you didn't think I had that did ya?" JJ grins wickedly at Topper. 

"Topper!" Kelce attempts to collect his friend but halts when JJ points the gun at him. 

"Everyone back off!" JJ orders, rising to his feet, returning the gun's point toward Topper. 

Without a second thought, you sprint across the sand. You slide in front of Topper, the waves splashing against you. 

"Y/N! No!" Topper screams as soon as you land in JJ's path. 

"Y/N!" Sarah and Kiara shout your name in unison. 

JJ hesitates when his eyes land on you. You see him lower the gun a little and Kelce takes the opportunity to pull Topper from the scene. 

"JJ please..." you beg of him. 

Your heart is racing, but you're certain JJ won't hurt you. Despite his evident pain and anger toward you, he won't do it. You remember the boy from the other night, the one who spoke to you with such admiration. That boy wouldn't harm you. You know he's in there beneath this tough facade. 

"Y/N! Come on!" Rafe wraps his fingers around your arm and drags you away. 

While he's distracted by you, John B swiftly steals the gun from JJ's hand and begins ushers him away to their circle of friends. The Pogues swarm JJ, all talking over each other. 

 Rafe frantically cups your face, checking on you. "Y/N! Y/N, are you okay?"

"I'm fine..." You mutter, glancing over your shoulder, watching John B talk to JJ down the beach. 

"No cuts? Scrapes?" Rafe panics. 

"No..." You shake your head absent-mindedly as you’re too distracted by observing JJ. 

"Are you okay?" Kiara checks on JJ worriedly as you watch from a distant. 

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine!" JJ rushes out, still agitated. "Fuck this man!" He swears, then his eyes land on yours with surprise. He hand’t expected you to be listening or even care. 

You two stare each other from across the beach. Guilt consumes his features and sympathy breaks you apart as your vision lands on the wounds covering JJ’s torso. Rafe brings you over to Kelce who has Topper catching his breath against a tree. 

"Dude's fucking nuts, man!" Kelce curses, all fidgety beside you. 

As soon Topper sees you coming, he pushes himself off the tree and rushes to you. His arms engulf you as he presses you to his chest. 

He squats down to be at your level, cupping your face in his hands. “You’re so stupid, Y/N! You just jumped in front of a gun! Why would you do that?!” 

“Because it was pointed at you!” You justify desperately. 

Topper's eyes soften. “You’d risk your life for me?! Are you crazy?!” A soft, breathless, laugh escapes him. 

“Of course I would you idiot!” You remark with frustration. How could he possibly think you wouldn't? You'd do anything for the boy. 

“God, I love you so much," he mutters, placing a hand on either side of your head and planting a kiss on your forehead. 

“Are you sure you’re not hurt anywhere?” You check his body in a panic. 

“Yes, yes I’m okay!” He assures you. “Let’s get out of here before things get crazy again." 

Your eyes grow wide. “Agreed!” 

He looks over at you and Topper doting on each other. It makes him even more pissed off. "Great! Go baby him! Tend to your Kook Prince, you Princess!" He yells across the beach. 

John B covers his friend's mouth. "Shut up, JJ!" 

"Jesus JJ!" Pope huffs under his breath. 

You and Topper snap your heads in JJ's direction. As a result, Topper pulls you into his side securely. 

“We'll text you guys later!” Kelce calls out to you both as he and Rafe start backing toward their cars. 

“Stay close to me,” Topper slips his into yours, giving it a tight squeeze. “I’m never letting that psycho Pogue anywhere near you again!” 

When you arrive at Topper's car, he opens your door for you. He keeps a sharp eye on the Pogues that remain on the beach. When John B or any of them glance our way, he glares daggers in their direction. Once you climb in, Topper reaches in and begins to buckle your seat belt as though you were a toddler in a car seat. 

“Topper I think I can put on my own seat belt,” you 

“I know, Sweetheart. I’m just..." he stops his action, kneeling beside you. "I guess I’m still a little scared. I was so afraid when that gun was pointed at you, I... I couldn’t breathe. I can never lose you, Y/N,” he rushes out, becoming emotional. 

Your emotions become bottled up as a lump in your throat. You rub your fingers through Topper's hair and plant a kiss on his forehead. His hands glide around your waist to your back, hugging you needly. His head rests against your chest as you cradle it. 

Abruptly, he breaks from you as a thought pops into his mind. “Promises me that if there’s any dangerous situation like that again, you run!" He instructs sternly. "You don’t do anything reckless for my sake!” 

You shake your head frantically, already rejecting his words. “You would’ve done the same thing for me! You basically did!” You justify. 

“I’m seriously Y/N!" Topper stands his ground. Eagerly, he takes removes your hands from his hair and squeezes them in his own. "I could never live with myself if something happened to you! Never again!” 

You want to argue with him on it, claim that if he's going to be protective of you that he must understand that you'll be the same. Yet, nothing escapes you. Instead, you simply nod, not wanting to fight at this moment. 

He nods, satisfied by your compliance. “I love you, you know that right?” 

You nod. “I love you too, Topper." 

_________________________________________

JJ fell into a dark abyss of self-deprecation and destruction after the bonfire. The Pogues all drove back to John B's, but as soon as they got there JJ disappeared as he did the day before. All they can do is wonder where he goes. If they knew that he was at the bar searching for his dad half drunk, they would be stopping a second fight for the day. 

JJ can't help but feel responsible for it all. One minute he has you. You're right there. The next, you're gone, in the arms of Topper of all people. He wants to know if anything from the other night was real for you. Was he just a game to you? You're the Princess of the OBX, you can have anything you want, including JJ if you asked. Is that what happened? You wanted him for a night and then got bored and went back to your fellow Kook. He wishes he hadn't let you down. He wishes you were here. He wishes that he could hold you again and feel you in his arms. Waking up next to you was the best moment in his life and he fears he'll never feel that sort of peace again. 

______________________________________________________

You Topper spend the night at his house, too afraid to be apart. Late into the night, Topper struggles to fall asleep as he holds you. Your back is pressed to his chest as his hands rest against you underneath his shirt you're wearing. Every time he tries to close his eyes, he envisions what could've happened tonight. You could've been shot. Topper could never live with himself if anything happened to you. Moving slowly to not wake you, he rolls onto his back and reaches toward the nightstand for his phone. He begins to scroll through social media and text messages, responding in the group chat between you, Kelce, Rafe, and himself. You've all agreed to go to lunch tomorrow at the Club with some other Kooks from the bonfire. 

You stir next to Topper, making the boy pause for a second. When you roll over still asleep and curl into him, a wave of relief rushes over Topper. 

“Go back to sleep,” you yawn. 

Topper jumps at the sudden sound of your voice. “Shit... sorry Beautiful, I didn’t mean to wake you.” 

“I’ve been awake. I could feel you overthinking," you whisper, scooting closer into his side. 

“You could feel me thinking?” He repeats with a hint of confusion.

You hum, as it makes perfect sense to you. You hear the sound of Topper pushing his phone back onto the side table. He rests his now free hand over your arm that lays across him. After a couple of minutes, you can still feel the tension radiating from him. 

“I’m okay, Topper,” you tell him to ease his nerves. 

“I know, I can’t just help but review the course of events in my head. What if he didn’t hesitate? What if his hand slipped? What if-“ 

“Enough!” You fly up to prop yourself up on your elbow. You stare down at the worried boy with sympathy. "You’re okay! I’m okay! What’s done is done and all we can do is be safe from now on. We’re safe!” You reach up and comb your fingers through the side of his hair. “Okay? It’s just you and me here.” 

Impulsively, Topper extends his neck and slams his lips to yours. You sit stunned as the kiss rides out its course. You and Topper go months without anything intimate and within two days, he's kissed you twice, breaking every ruled you two have made. When you don't react, Topper breaks from you with a startled expression, as if he wasn't comprehending his actions. 

“Y/N, I'm sorry! I-“ 

Before Topper can finish his sentence, you press your lips to his hungrily. You're not sure why, but you need him. Topper is your kryptonite, the bittersweet reality in your life. Forgetting his regret, Topper immediately sits up, resting against his headboard. You take the opportunity to straddle his torso and he keeps you steady with his hands on your hips. It's been ages since you've made out, but it's like riding a bike for you two. You know what each other likes and what gets the other going. 

"I've missed you so much," Topper whispers against your jawline as he moves down to leave marks on your neck. He aggressively attacks your sensitive skin where evidence of JJ remains. Deep down in the back of your mind, you know Topper is parking his territory for JJ to see later. Your skin has become a battleground for the two. "I've missed this." 

"Me too," you pant, silently wondering if you truly mean it in the same sense as him. 

Though you chose to kiss Topper back and want to, you can’t understand why JJ’s face enters your mind the moment you do. As you deepen the kiss with Topper, you chase the sensation he’s giving you. You're addicted to the way he makes you feel, it's familiar and reminds you of a time when you were carefree. Yet, your thoughts remain fixated on JJ. You want Topper, but all you can think about is JJ. 

__________________________

Masterlist

Tags: @starkeythinker @bethii1 @thegunnerkelly@cc13723things @hockeybabe87 @jolomez

#topper obx #topper outer banks #topper imagine #topper #john b routledge #jj maybank fluff #jj maybank fic #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank imagines #jj #kiara #sarah cameron #pope #outer banks

[maybe-your-left]

i wholly believe odin ren is 100000% a mamas boy the wee thing

lets talk about the clingers baby-which means the Ren boys are in competition for affection

SPOILER: Daddy Ren always wins.

TW/CW: NSFW, Odin is a crybaby, Kylo is a crybaby, attention whores, we coddle the boys, oddly sentimental, who is this woman

-------

You were having the most wonderful dream, you were on a beach, bikini-clad. Drinking out of a coconut, basking in the warm sun as it kissed your skin in a delicious tan. When you were awoken by a loud cry, emanating from the door of the master suite.

Behind you, Ren groaned in his slumber. Throwing his beefy arm across your waist as he stirred to life. You opened an eye, seeing the outline of your baby, illuminated by the lights he had turned on downstairs. His blanket in his hand, harsh sniffles between his hiccuping sobs.

"M-mom-m-y," he choked.

Rushing to your bedside, you cringed when he came closer. His face was beet red, stained with tears and snot. Odin was gasping for air, his little hands scrambling under the sheets to find you. He hoisted his body onto the bed, pinning you down. You groaned at the weight, he was getting bigger, and bigger by Ren standards meant he was too heavy for you to cradle.

"What's wrong, baby," you whispered, letting Odin burrow into your chest. His wet cheeks smearing across your bare collarbone, you decided to sleep in the silk pajamas you received for Mother's day, exposing a little too much of your chest.

"Nothing," Ren murmured into your hair, "Other than you're wearing too many clothes."

You threw an elbow into his ribs, causing him to wheeze awake. Mistaking your soothing words for Odin, as words for him. Who was still sobbing into your chest, breathing picking up at the sound of his father waking. "Kylo," you hissed, one look over your shoulder revealed a confused husband. Brow furrowed as he blinked awake, he rolled onto his back. Propping up on his forearms to peer over at the sobbing child, "Odin had a nightmare."

"Hm," he rumbled, "Bubba," Ren whispered to Odin, who was still trembling in your embrace, "What's wrong, why are you up so late?"

Odin sobbed at that, you shot Ren a glare. "I just said he had a nightmare," rolling your eyes you tried to pry Odin off of you. Sitting up in the process, Odin dug his fingernails into your skin, causing you to yelp.

"Baby! Stoppit, let go. It's okay, you're with mommy and daddy now."

Ren sat up with you, latching his hands around Odin's ribs. He tugged on the boy a few times, whispering softly, "Come on, you're hurting your mother."

Odin wouldn't budge, understandable given his attachment to you over his father. But Ren wouldn't let go of him, "Odin, it's okay, let's just lay down."

"I don't wanna lay down," Odin whined, finally releasing you enough to sit in your lap. Wiping his running nose on his blanket, you'd have to clean that in the morning. Ren winced at that, ever the germophobe.

"Do you wanna lay with mommy and daddy," you cooed, running your fingers through his hair like you do for Ren. Odin nodded his head swiftly, jumping between you and his father.

Ren glared at you, hissing through his teeth, "(Y/N), he can't keep sleeping in bed with us."

"He had a nightmare," you laid down next to him. Continuing to pet his hair, you nuzzled his head with your nose. Smelling his sweet shampoo, still a hint of baby left on him. You hated the thought of his growing up, mainly for the loss of your baby boy.

And the reality of having a carbon copy of Ren around, ready to fight his dad for attention.

Ren huffed loudly, falling down on his back. He stroked a hand against Odin's tufts of black hair. He has stopped crying the moment you let him stay, back into a slumbering child with no nightmares. Ren watched him closely, listening to his breathing like you were.

------

That morning, you woke with Odin attached to your chest. Snoring loudly against your skin, a small puddle of drool had collected. You gagged a small bit, maneuvering so he could roll off you.

Ren wasn't in bed, a glance at the clock said it was nine, Odin never sleeps this late. You tapped on his shoulder, softly waking him up so you could eat breakfast.

Odin walked with you hand in hand to the kitchen, where Ren was seated at the table. Drinking coffee and reading the paper, you yawned as you sat Odin down. Even though he whined when you walked away, leaving Ren and him alone.

You watched the two of them from the counter, seeing Ren try to keep Odin calm. Holding his little hand across the table, even though he hated how much you coddled him. He was just as guilty, speaking to his son in soft tones. Telling him how his room was safe to sleep in once again, 'Daddy made sure of it.'

Odin smiled when you came back, sitting between your two boys. Where Ren could touch your leg under the table, and Odin could hold your hand while all of you ate.

The rest of the morning was slow, Belle was out at the friends' house for a sleepover. So it was the three of you, until it was time for Odin's nap. He reluctantly went to his room, even though he tried to guilt you into napping with him.

But Ren said no, he had to be a big boy and face his fears.

Once Odin was pacified and snoring, Ren dragged you to the bedroom. The two of you locking lips for the first time today, Rens hands were all over you. Mumbling against your mouth, "You're coddling him too much."

"Mhm," you mused, pushing Ren flat on his back on the bed. You swung a leg over his hip, straddling him as you fisted the black henly he wore, "I do the same to you."

"Thats because," he paused, ripping off your camisole that you handed changed out of this morning, "I'm the baby you're supposed to coddle."

You giggled at that, letting Ren tug your clothes off until you both were naked. Straddling his cock, you rocked your hips back and forth, moaning as softly as you could.

Ren laid kisses along your collar, moving towards your breasts that were swinging in rhythm with your hips. Ren placed a hand at the small of your back, propping the two of you up with another behind him.

"Am I not giving you enough attention, Kylo?"

He shook his head, panting through an open mouth as he stared up at you. Ren groaned loudly, thrusting into you in quick succession. "No-never enough," he latched onto your nipple, sucking harshly before nibbling it between his teeth.

You gasped at that, walls clenching around his cock. Seated completely inside you for a brief moment, "I can't always pay attention to you." Your breath hitched an octave higher, the head of his cock was nudging delightfully at your cervix. Ren's hips pistoned into you, forcing you to bounce like a ragdoll in his lap.

Blissed out smile stretching across your face, loving the feeling of him inside you. Cock stretching your walls with each slick thrust, you would never get enough of it.

Ren's hand slid down to cup a cheek, the tip of his middle finger lightly prodding your tight back entrance. You jolted in his hold, earning a loud chuckle in your ear, "You like me inside you, huh?"

"Uh-huh," you moaned, "I fucking love you're big cock."

"Fuck," he stilled for a moment, leaning forward to capture your lips in a kiss. Ren wrapped both arms around you, careful to not break apart as he scooted to the center of the mattress. Laying down fully on his back, Ren placed a steady palm squarely on your chest.

Pushing you to be upright on his cock, you bit your bottom lip at the sight. Ren's cheeks pink from fucking, slicked with a sheen of sweat, dark hair mussed up. You raked your nails along his chest, his breath hitched as you scraped his nipples.

"You know," he croaked, latching his hands on your waist now. You felt him readjust, planting both feet on the mattress. Elevating you from the bed, "If you gave me attention-you'd get my big cock all the time."

Before you could rebut, Ren slammed his hips up. Jostling you so hard you yelped, he chuckled below you. Thrusting with all his strength, you clutched to his shoulders. Digging into the skin as he fucked and fucked and fucked.

"Ky-y-ylo," you cried, cunt fluttering around his length. Ren groaned at that, eyes rolling back just as yours were, "You're gonna cum on my cock-all for me."

"Yes," the 's' hissing through your clenched teeth, rocking back and forth as he continued to thrust. You both were right on the edge, the only thing you needed was...

"Mommy!" came from upstairs.

Ren and you both halted, frozen in fear of Odin coming to see you both naked. Still lodged inside you, Ren rolled the two of your bodies. Making sure your faces were looking at the doorway you had stupidly left open. Ren tugged a blanket over the two of you, rolling his hips a little as you waited.

"Mommy!"

"What's wrong, Odin?" Ren boomed through the doorway. He clasped a hand over your mouth, "Mommy's busy!"

"But-but-but," and tears.

Odin must be screaming at the top of his lungs, you could practically see his little face turning bright red from the exertion. You thrashed in Rens hold, trying to be free so you could at least talk to your son.

Ren kept you pinned, waiting a little more before he continued fucking you. Letting yourself briefly moan from the sensation of him dragging against your walls, "Be quiet baby-want you to cum with me."

Not the best plan, but fuck you were so close and it sounded like Odin was tiring himself out. You could give Ren a little bit more of your attention... he was begging for it.

You opened your legs a little wider, making Ren groan in satisfaction. He placed a hand on the back of your knee, keeping you still as he fucked in fast strokes. A glob of spit falling from his pursed lips to the top of your pussy, clit now glistening with it.

Ren nodded towards it, "Rub it-right now and cum on me."

Obeying like the good girl you were, you rubbed tight circles along yourself. Moaning at the feeling of clenching his length. Ren stilled for a moment. Closing his eyes tights before groaning, both of you cumming in a slow fall of ecstasy.

Ren's cock painted your pussy, filling you deliciously while you creamed him. Both of you smiling like horny teenagers as he pulled out, your still pulsing cunt pushed out a glob of cum. Which he swiped with the tip of his finger.

Gingerly pushing it back inside, "Where it belongs."

------

You swung out of bed after that, despite Ren making a noise that could only be described as complete despair. Throwing on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, you probably looked like a mess but he was five, he wouldn't know.

Running up the stairs to your baby, who was indeed red-faced and still crying. Babbling about where you were, and why he was scared, this, and that. You kept him cradled to your chest, rocking him back and forth.

Footsteps brought your attention to the door, your husband stood in the frame. Hands-on his hips, a little out of breath, dressed like you were.

He walked into Odin's room, plopping down on the carpeted floor by you both. Ren said nothing, he just scooped Odin from your arms. Letting him cry into his chest for a few moments, you stared at the two, your attention hogs.

Desperate for you in every way, but you wouldn't want it any different.

--------

wow okay-so sentimental is apparently an emotion I can have? big shocker.

yes Odin has nightmares, like young Kylo

TAGGING:@finn-ray-nal-beads ​​​@onlykyloscenes ​​​@candycanes19 ​​​@historyandfandoms50 ​​​@caelum-phyriina-vermillon ​​​@ghoulian13 ​​​@mrs-kylo-ren ​​​@millenialcatlady ​​​​@relationshipwithmybed ​​@dancingmicrobes ​​​@wayward-rose ​​​@contesa-lui-alucard ​​​@daydreamsofren ​​​@insufferablelust ​​​@ohdamnadamm ​​​@mariesackler ​​​@caillea ​​@safarigirlsp ​​@jalexunderthestars ​​​@shesakillerkween ​​​@glassythoughts ​​@zimmermansbrat ​​@not-the-teen-witch ​​@jynzandtonic ​@roanniom ​@celestiasin @glassbxttles @cornmousequeen@driversmutbucket @blowthatpieceofjunk

#adam driver #kylo ren #adamdriver #doctor ren #doctor kylo ren #surgeon kylo #surgeon au #odin ren

[pies-writes-and-more]

a broken heart

Word Count: 2,543

Warnings: sad bean vibes today guys, sorry! Breakup angst and jealousy.

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x Fem!Reader, Bokuto Kōtarō x Fem!Reader

A/N: I have no clue what got into me but we’re writing some sad shit tonight apparently. For all my broken-hearted beans out there, I promise I’ll write some fluff sooner or later! <3 Thank you to @thisnoodlewritesao3 for reading some of this for me and giving me the motivation to keep writing - sorry you’ll probably wake up to these feels (please don’t read if you’re not in a good head space, yall!)

Song inspo: When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars (thank you @haikyuutothetop and @tobi-momo for bringing it up cause I totally forgot to add it 😂)

Haikyuu Masterlist

It was like life was stabbing him every few seconds, reminding him that you were no longer there.

Tsukishima woke up thinking that maybe everything would be okay today, pulled his headphones on while he got ready because he was refusing to be alone with his thoughts. But when his music shuffled, why did the first song to play have to be the song you had deemed your song? Why could he remember the melody so perfectly sung in your voice? The way you looked whenever the song came on on the radio.

He remembered how happy you looked that very first day, how you had dressed yourself up just to hang out with him, and how this song was playing in a playlist he had made you and was the one in the background when he had kissed you for the first time.

The melody made Tsukishima’s lips tingle. He wanted nothing more than to kiss you right now.

Yamaguchi’s half smiles didn’t help either. When he joined Tsukishima on his way to school, he just patted Tsukishima on the back like he normally did and danced around the question, “How are you?”

It’s not like Tsukishima would be honest. He’d just shrug and say, “Fine,” and hope Yamaguchi would fill the silence with some story or something dumb.

He knew Yamaguchi was still friends with you, that the two of you talked. He’d never ask for him to stop because if anything, Tsukishima could find out how you were doing without even asking.

“She’s okay,” Yamaguchi told him with a small smile, as if that was supposed to be comforting. Did he think that’s what Tsukishima wanted to hear? That you were doing okay? That you weren’t waking up in tears every night like he was? Part of him wanted to be happy that you were okay, because he always secretly knew you’d be better off without him. But he wanted to be angry at you, he wanted to blame you for the fact that he cried more in the last few weeks than he had ever before in his life.

Tsukishima just kept his eyes forward, like he didn’t even hear his best friend but Yamaguchi had seen the flicker of sadness in him. He had learned a few weeks into the breakup not to mention your name around Tsukishima, but not because the quiet boy asked him to. It was because every time he heard your name, Yamaguchi would watch as his shoulders tensed, how his fists would clench in annoyance. He missed you, but who would ever catch Tsukishima Kei admitting that?

Yamaguchi would never tell him, but he always wondered that maybe if Tsukishima had admitted his feelings more to you, maybe you’d still be here.

Tsukishima would never say it out loud, but he was already thinking the same thing.

It hadn’t taken long for it to feel like the whole world knew about your breakup. People whispered in the hallways, more than they usually did when Tsukishima’s cold aura came by. Your name fluttered into his ears through gossipy voices and the blond boy just wanted to tell everyone to shut up.

Why did your name have to follow him around? Why did people have to look at him like he had done something so wrong? It’s not like he had broken up with you.

“I just can’t do this anymore, Tsukishima, I’m sorry,” you had whispered to him, shifting uncomfortably in your stance. “It just feels like you don’t even want me around most of the time and I feel like I’m constantly bugging you.”

“I never said you were bugging me, did I?” he huffed. Looking back, Tsukishima wished he could’ve bit down on his tongue and cut the sass in half. You had winced at his bitter tone. It was the look on your face that made him realize you weren’t just being insecure or awkward again. You were genuinely trying to leave.

“I want to be with someone who actually wants me around… and I don’t think that’s how we are…” the words left your lips so easily but Tsukishima knew what you meant. You meant that’s not how he was.

“You’re the one who’s leaving,” Tsukishima spat out angrily, glaring at you as you picked up your things slowly, tears in your eyes. Why wouldn’t you look at him? Why wouldn’t you look him in the eyes and tell him why you were leaving?

But when you finally met his gaze, you were already at the door, glancing back at him with sorrowful eyes. Why did you look like you were mourning something? Had it really been that bad? Being with him? “You’re the one not stopping me,” you had said in a voice barely louder than a whisper. You waited there for a moment, as if proving your point to him as Tsukishima just stood there with his fists clenched.

He wanted to lurch forward and hold you to him, beg you to stay even though he wasn’t sure what words could possibly describe how he was feeling. He didn’t know how to explain why he was always so angry or emotionless with you. He didn’t hate you - how was he supposed to say that? He didn’t want you to go but you were already leaving. How pathetic of him would he be if he begged you to stay? What was the point of begging if you were already choosing to go?

The memory was still fresh in Tsukishima’s mind. He couldn’t help but think about it every moment of the day, even still. Some part of him had hoped you would come back - would show up at his house with tears in your eyes and beg him to show some sort of emotions so you could stay. He would if you had come. But he knew that you probably expected him to do the same.

But even if he did, would you accept it? Would you accept his apology? Or was he considered a lost cause?

Tsukishima’s ears perked up, hearing a familiar melodious laughter as he walked through campus for lunch. His eyes searched around and saw you with your friends, giggles erupting from your lips. He wondered how you were still able to laugh with your friends, how your smile still managed to brighten up the courtyard during your lunch. How were you so happy? How come you had never smiled like that with him?

Before he could stop himself, Tsukishima felt himself walking towards you. He needed to see you up close - needed to make sure that smile was genuine because it couldn’t possibly be right? How were you so okay when he was so not?

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi’s hand grabbed Tsukishima’s arm before he could cause a scene, pulling him back from his zoned in thoughts. “You’re not gonna want to do that,” Yamaguchi insisted, meeting Tsukishima’s glare head on. “Trust me okay?”

Tsukishima watched him for a moment, his lips pursing into a thin line, “How am I supposed to apologize and get her back if I don’t see her?”

Yamaguchi’s gaze faltered this time and that’s when Tsukishima knew something was going on. Yamaguchi knew something. Something he wasn’t telling his best friend.

“What is it?” Tsukishima asked quietly, pulling his arm from Yamaguchi’s grip.

Yamaguchi started to say something but the most annoying voice you could ever hear was louder.

“Y/N! My angel! I did it! I ran all the way here just like I promised!”

Tsukishima’s eyes widened just slightly as he watched as Bokuto Kōtarō seemed to run over to Tsukishima’s girlfriend no, ex girlfriend.

“He didn’t, he’s just exaggerating,” Akaashi’s voice came next, trailing behind Bokuto with a look on his face that clearly stated he didn’t want to be here.

You were laughing awkwardly, a look in your eyes telling Tsukishima you really hadn’t expected them. So why were they here in the middle of a school day?

Tsukishima scoffed a bit, wanting to turn back and run away, bury his nose into his studies and pretend like it was fine. But it wasn’t fine. Because Bokuto wrapped you up in his arms and whirled you around in a hug that showed everyone nearby exactly how he felt about you.

“B-Boktuo, put me down!” You insisted through giggles, desperately trying to avoid everyone from staring at you but it was far too late.

“I’m just excited to see you,” Bokuto grinned, nodding towards his best friend. “Akaashi is too!”

Akaashi just gave a nod and continued his conversation with one of your friends, as Bokuto patted your head lovingly, “I told you I’d come see you today, didn’t I?”

“You weren’t supposed to skip school for it, you idiot!” You laughed, shaking your head.

“I’ll go back, promise! I just wanted to see you,” Bokuto grinned.

The smile on your face was wider than before and yet Tsukishima still didn’t understand why. How were you still smiling? How were you standing there with everyone assuming that you were dating Bokuto and not dismissing all the quiet rumours that were starting?

Tsukishima finally found it in himself to walk away, Yamaguchi calling after him and following his footsteps. You had left him and replaced him with a top ace. Of course you had. It didn’t matter how much Tsukishima practiced or didn’t practice. He was never going to be better than him, and he was never going to get you back either.

Over the next few weeks, Tsukishima would hear about everything that Bokuto was and did. He saw posts on your Instagram, which he still glanced at every now and then, and even stole Yamaguchi’s phone sometimes to see your Snapchat stories.

You had everything you ever wanted now from the looks of it. Bokuto would come see you every weekend, even if it meant coming right after volleyball practice. He’d crash on your living room couch or on your floor and according to your Twitter, your mom loved him already.

He brought you flowers one time, completely out of the blue, and there it was on your Instagram. Bokuto with a huge smile on his face and holding them out to you. Tsukishima could just imagine the glow in your skin as you accepted them, that shy smile that you had given to him, what felt like a million years ago.

Yamaguchi watched as his friend tortured himself with your social media, glancing at it with eyes said that he didn’t care, but his bad mood was just getting worse every day. Everyone on the volleyball team knew it too, and even the somewhat-empty-headed players like Hinata and Noya didn’t say anything.

“They’re not dating you know,” Yamaguchi spoke up after a while as the two of them walked home. Tsukishima shoved his phone back in his pocket, as if Yamaguchi hadn’t just caught him glancing at his text message history with you to see if you had randomly messaged him. “I think Bokuto just really likes her but she told me she’s not ready.”

Tsukishima wanted to tell him he didn’t care, but those words just twisted in his mouth and he couldn’t even make a sound. He did care. How could he not? He had loved you, even if he was absolute shit at showing you.

“He’ll be good for her,” was all Tsukishima said after a moment, staring out to the distance and trying not to note the surprise on Yamaguchi’s face. He wanted to mean it. He wanted to be happy for you because your smile was all that mattered to him. But... he couldn’t stop from thinking... from wishing... that your smile was at him instead.

As if the gods themselves had decided to torture Tsukishima some more that day, as the two friends turned into Coach’s shop to grab some snacks, there he was standing right in front of them.

Bokuto Kōtarō with his idiotic smile and a handful of snacks and ramen packets that he was plopping onto the counter in front of Coach Ukai, “Just these please!”

Ukai glanced uncomfortably at Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, clearing his throat as he started to check Bokuto’s items out.

Tsukishima’s ears were going pink - of course even the Coach knew. He wanted to leave right then and there, pretend like he hadn’t even come here in the first place.

But before he could turn on his heels, Bokuto caught his eye. The two of them shared an awkward look, Yamaguchi trying to walk towards the back of the store so that Tsukishima could follow him.

“Look man-” Bokuto started stiffly, his chest puffing out just slightly as he tried to come up with the words.

“It’s the wrong kind,” Tsukishima interrupted, a cold glare shooting right into Bokuto’s eyes.

“Sorry?”

“The ramen.” Tsukishima walked over to the nearby stand and pulled out two different flavours, dropping them onto the counter. “Y/N doesn’t like that one. You grabbed the wrong one.”

He should’ve just walked away then and there, avoided any more confrontational conversations but he didn’t. The two of them just stared at each other, Bokuto looking back and forth between Tsukishima and the packets of ramen.

“Boys,” Ukai’s voice was low, as if warning them not to start a scuffle in his shop.

After a moment, Bokuto just gave Tsukishima a smile, patting him on the shoulder, “Thanks.”

Tsukishima still stood there, even as Bokuto paid for his items (minus the ramen packets that you didn’t like) and as Ukai handed him his bag. The Fukurōdani boy gave a small wave to Ukai and started to head out, the tension just starting to lift.

“She likes flowers,” Tsukishima’s voice cut through the air like a knife, words thudding into existence. “She says it makes her feel like someone is thinking of her without an occasion. And she likes to have her hand held in crowds because sometimes she gets nervous around so many people. She’s not going to text you a lot at first because she’s going to think she’s clingy… and that’s my fault. I made her think she was clingy. But she’s not. She just wants to know that you’re thinking of her and that you’re honest with her.” Tsukishima’s fists were clenched so tightly, his nails were starting to sting into his palms, “And she likes to go dancing. It doesn’t really matter where but she likes to dance to music.”

You could’ve heard a fly buzzing around, or a pin dropping against the floor with how quiet it got. Bokuto’s back was still to Tsukishima, tensing slightly the more that he talked but never fully turning around.

“Slow dance with her okay? Because… I never did with her and she always wanted me to. Do everything I didn’t do with her, alright?” Tsukishima’s voice was louder now, as if desperately pleading with Bokuto.

There was another pause in the air and Bokuto only turned his head slightly to just say, “You got it,” before disappearing.

Tsukishima didn’t realize it until after he had gone that there were tears in his eyes. He thought about every time he saw flowers and thought about giving them to you and how stupid he had thought the idea was. He remembered every moment that he didn’t respond back to you right away when he had the chance to, or when he asked you why you sent him so many things on social media. The picture of that sadness growing in your eyes would haunt him for a while.

Worst of all, was all those times you two had sat in the middle of a field, just listening to music and humming to yourselves. How often you had looked around to find no one around and begged him to come dance with you. He had thought it was stupid. How childish, he had thought.

But right now, he’d give anything to slow dance with you.

Guess it’s true, Tsukishima thought to himself as he rushed home, ignoring Yamaguchi calling for him. He wiped his face aggressively, not even caring how crooked his glasses were getting as more tears streamed down his face. You never really realize what you have until you lose it.

haikyuu taglist (let me know if you’d like to join :))

@al0ehas @aurumk @devilkittymusic @thisnoodlewritesao3 @satan-ruler-of-hells @trashy-simp @jeppiet @tobi-momo​ @darkvadeeer​ @haikyuutothetop​ @livy384​ @babyshoyo​ @jesssobs​

#tsukishima x you #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima kei #haikyuu x reader #bokuto x reader #bokuto kotaro x reader #haikyuu!! #angsty fics #im so sorry yall lol #i really dont know what got into me #but here we are haha #i hope you guys like it

[ginanosakka]

I Hate it Here

Masterlist

We Were Kids | Next

Moving you into Katsuki’s apartment across town took mere minutes, but everyday you spent there felt like years that you’d never get back. Everything felt too big and nostalgic, and the only thing grounding you to keep you from a panic attack, was Ryu being himself despite being pulled from school and transitioning to home school. He was just happy to be around his father all the time, immediately bombarding him with questions about his day the moment that he stepped through the door.

It wasn’t news that Katsuki wasn’t fond of comforting people, and the thought of him begging for forgiveness was laughable — but that brick wall you put up the moment you stepped through his threshold for the second time was driving him insane. When he was around, you were somewhere else in the house on the phone, or on the laptop you purchased and had shipped to his home as soon as possible. On the rare occasion he did see you for more than a few seconds, you looked drained of life. . and scared.

You were tough even when you two were young — the constant picking at you being quirkless might have made you think he thought otherwise, and he wondered if that contributed to your hardened shell now — but there was the rare occasion when something would break through your tough skin.

And it was always your father that did it.

Katsuki practiced his jabs that he tried out in training with Kirishima on the air, trying to make sure every moment was precise to recreate the amount of damage he dealt everytime. You had tagged along after phoning him and asking what he was doing, receiving the usual ‘I’m training and don’t give a shit if you come or not’ that you always took as a very hostile ‘yes’.

Usually, you’d make small noises of approval as he trained, and after yelling about you messing up his concentration but only getting a tongue stuck out at him in response, he had grown use to your annoying presence. Which is why he stole glances at you today when you were completely silent, and he found himself curious about why you didn’t even look at him as he trained. Bakugou was more aware of your every moment than you’d ever know, and he wanted it to stay that way, so he continued to only steal glances instead of confronting you.

“My dad didn’t tell me happy birthday.” There it was. The moment you’d break the silence and spill your guts to him with no coaxing needed from him.

That’s what drove him crazy about you; how you adapted to his pride and made being there for you so easy.

“He had Jun give me my necklace and money when I woke up, and I asked her if he made any plans to see me today. . She said he’s a busy man and I need to grow up. . Am I asking for too much?”

You looked up at him with every ounce of insecurity on full display, the kind of look he hated seeing on your face more than he hated seeing you in those stupid get-ups your mom bought you. Even he had said happy birthday to you, granted it was though text and there was no gift with it, but at least he had the decency to listen when you said that all you wanted was to hear two simple words from the people you cared about. It pissed Katsuki off even more that he knew you told your dad that’s all you wanted, and it didn’t take a genius to know that he didn’t do it on purpose. Now Katsuki had to be the one to pick up your broken pieces.

“Idiot, it’s not your fault that your old man is trash.” He grunted, turning away from you to stare at nothing so he didn’t have to see that stupid sparkle in your eyes when he said something nice.

That damn sparkle made his heart squeeze.

He was relieved to hear your soft laughter, “I guess you’re right. He’s better at bribing people than caring for them.”

If only he could tell you how true those words were.

“Shit.” Katsuki mumbled under his breathe, the realization of what was happening hitting him like a brick.

That day he went to your office, he hadn’t been there just to get a look at what you had accomplished, and the reason he got so riled up by your secretary was more than just being told he couldn’t see you. He had gotten a tip from Tokoyami that morning about a yakuza organization that was deeply involved in many missing people cases, and also suspects for the assasination of small business companies that were expected to outgrow large corporations.

That organization had your picture on the wall, along with pictures of those who were missing, and ones who had not gone missing but were on police watch due to the likelihood of them being taken next. Katsuki chalked it up to you being seen with him when he was a target for many villains due to his success in taking down and capturing villains with ease, and he let the most obvious point go over his head. He had just immediately wen to go see you to calm his nerves, not even second guessing his own answer that tied this back to the one man he had his own hit on.

The organization that had you targeted, acted under powerful businessmen in Japan. .

Your father was one of those powerful businessmen.

‘It all comes full fucking circle,’ Katsuki thought angrily as he picked up his office phone, knowing that he had to get his least favorite heroes on the case.

“I’m not asking you to take sides, I’m asking you to tell me the truth!” You hissed into the phone, and you could feel every ounce of your patience draining from your body and your tone.

It had been three days. Three days since you moved in with the father of your child, three days of feeling anxious and livid, and three days of trying to get in contact with your mother. For once, you could say that the least of your worries was Katsuki, and now it happened to be the life of your child again. You weren’t stupid — the moment Katsuki mentioned your safety specifically being threatened you knew who had put the hit out on you, and he wanted you to know.

It was your father’s way of warning you that if you even thought of exposing that you were his daughter that ‘went missing’,or tell them what he had done, you and Ryu will never know peace again. The knowledge that you were in his sights again and he still was just as ruthless as ever couldn’t even fully register in your brain, but you knew you had to do something. This was your baby’s life that was in danger again, and this time he isn’t living inside of you so you could have him with you at all times. You didn’t even know how to have this conversation with Katsuki when he didn’t even have the decency to tell you there was someone after your son while he sat in school. In fact, you were doing your best to avoid his presence so you didn’t cause a scene and scare Ryu half to death.

And your mother had the fucking ability to help you, and she decided this was the time to wave the white flag to involving herself in you and your father’s war.

“This isn’t something that I can tell you and your father not disown me too for, Y/N! Do you really expect me to risk my life too?” Your mother responded, and your grip on the phone tightened so much that you weren’t sure how much longer you’d have before it shattered.

“Yes! I expect you to risk your life for me, mom! I expect you to be a mother for just one damn moment in your life to save your grandson! If you can’t tell me what he knows and what you’ve told him, this will not only get ugly for him, but for you too!” You threatened with full intention of making it a reality.

“I can-“ as she spoke you heard a male voice in the background that made your heart sink to the bottom of your stomach before the phone went dead.

You paced the floor with a hand over your mouth to keep from screaming with Ryu napping in the other room, but this situation could only be fully resolved with risks being taken. The company you put blood sweat and tears into — you had long since realized you never wanted to start an entire company, but it was the best thing you knew how to do to make money to give your son the life he deserved — was going to have to be put in jeopardy. Your life, and more importantly your son’s life, would be in immediate danger once you decide to wage this war.

It’s father against daughter, and loser loses everything.

“You were really going to go through this again alone? You really piss me off sometimes.”

You whirled around to the door of the guest bedroom you were in to see not only Katsuki, but Eiji also standing there. It didn’t shock you in the slightest how pissed Katsuki looked, but Kirishima’s deathly stare had you frozen in place. Even though you knew in the back of your mind that their anger was towards your father, you couldn’t help but feel weak when two very famous pro heroes had their murderous gazes on full display for you.

“You don’t have to worry,” Kirishima said and flashed you a hardened arm. “No one is going to touch you or Ryu on my watch.”

Katsuki grunted, “I’ll kill anyone that tries.”

(A\N: So who’s ready to see full on angst, romance, and a badass reader? Cause I am ^_^! Also the amount of love and insight you guys give me on this story is insane and I still can’t than you enough 🥺 I hope you enjoy! <3

Taglist (Closed) <3 : @fandomgirllover @cloudsgathering @that-bipolar-renegade-romantic @jazzylove @that-chick212 @bonbonthedragon @misssugarless @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @bakugous-bakahoe @pinkykookie17 @animexholic @arielting @samkysnks @simpforeveryone @damnirina @deneuves @tsumuuumiyaaaa @vintage-teddyxo @regalmigraine @samvmgh @iamagalaxy @officialtrashbusiness @xwackk @videogameboiwhowins @marajillana @ellasdilemma @plutoneu @saucey-kneecapzz42020 @thestarsanctuary @dewdropwifu @star-light-imagines @kritiiiii @bakugosbottombitch @the2ndl @candybabey @simply-not-the-same @sam-i-am-1025 @mes-bisous @eternallyvenus @peppytine @chaelysian @definitely-yours @oikawarc @suneaterofthebig3 @m0na-l0ver @nkb0048 @losertsukki i @notyourfavorlte @caramelsquares @hikaru-mikazuki

#bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou #bnha #bakugo x reader #x reader #katsuki bakugo x y/n #bnha angst #bnha x reader #anime x reader #bnha fanfiction #kirishima x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha kirishima #bnha kiribaku #kiri

[artificialqueens]

Bringing You Home (Bialyssa) - Melyssa

Alyssa gets drunk during one of her gigs and Bianca is tasked with the job to get her home. Unfortunately, a drunk Alyssa Edwards is a loud, overdramatic, and emotional Alyssa Edwards...which is basically her personality when she's sober. But twice as worst.

"Ten times worst" Bianca seethes as Alyssa begins yelling at the top of her lungs for a cab in the parking lot where Bianca parked her car.

"Don't make me do this"

Manila could only give her an apologetic look as Bianca downs her final glass for the night. It might as well almost shattered in her hand when she hears Alyssa's voice yelling at the background.

"Alwight now you know you can't be having these oats honey, these are my oats!"

"I thought you were the drag mom, why is Gia the one influencing you?!?" Trinity laughs from the couch.

The queen was drunk, doing and saying the most stupid stuff all night in perfect Alyssa Edwards manner. The only evidence that she was a Christian woman who had come from Texas was her accent which got thicker during the night. It was fun and a hype to the party, but they eventually realised that someone will have to take her home.

"Please don't make me do this" Bianca begged as Manila began packing her stuff.

Manila gave her a look "Now do you be begging me now sis, I remember you puking on MY bathroom floor just a couple of weeks ago."

Bianca winced at the memory. She herself had gotten high on performances that night and in turn got drunk on too much alcohol. It was Manila who took her home, and the next day Bianca woke up with a splitting headache and a queen burning with rage in front of the bathroom door. Manila said all was forgiven, water under the bridge.

"Should've jumped over the bridge when I had the chance." Bianca shoots her one last glare to which Manila only walks out with a wink and a 'goodluck' that seemed far too chipper for the situation.

With a deep breathe, she turns around to face her biggest burden of the day.

Trinity and Shea were practically dying of laughter on the couch as Alyssa began giving them the sloppiest pole dance she had ever given.

In a last attempt of petty revenge, Bianca grabs her phone and begins to record Alyssa winking flirtatiously at a wheezing Jinxx.

"Oohh she's going to love this" Bianca mutters gleefully, then says to the phone's mic,

"Alyssa if you puke over any part of my house tonight, this video is going online".

She ends the video just as a man begins to walk over to the dancer.

"Oh no you don't" Bianca grabs Alyssa by the elbow "We're going home"

Alyssa whines against her "But Bianca, that dude was really hoottt, didn't you see his abs?"

"I know for a fact that you detest sex and hate it even more when you hook-up" Bianca scoffs.

"So you can either stop yelling at my ear or I'll push you over to him so you could vomit on HIS leather sofas". Obviously, Alyssa didn't get the warning and began to pull excitedly at Bianca's hand.

"Oh, oh, there Bianca look! Isn't he your type? Girl you should talk to him, get his number or somethinf and fuck him again-"

Bianca didn't even look at the person Alyssa was pointing at, too focused to getting the queen out of the bar and into her car. She's only had about three glasses of wine that night and could hold her liquor very well so Bianca didn't have to worry about any accidents as she drove that night.

The same couldn't be said for Alyssa, who was being loud, overly dramatic and emotional. Well, she was loud, overly dramatic and emotional when she was sober but it seems she got twice at worst when she's drinking alcohol instead of red bull.

"Ten times worst" Bianca seethes as Alyssa begins yelling at the top of her lungs for a cab in the parking lot where Bianca parked her car.

"Can you shut up?!"

"No"

Bianca paused her search for her keys to deadpan at Alyssa who was downright pouting at her like child who couldn't get a toy from the toystore.

Finally she got her keys and opened the passenger door. Bianca was genuine about not getting into an accident that night and if Alyssa was going to be this annoying then she doesn't trust herself to not ram up into some tree to kill them both.

"Get in there" Bianca pushed Alyssa in. Of course, it wasn't easy.

"Hey!" Bianca yells, narrowly dodging Alyssa's shoulder as she begins to thrash in her hold.

"I aint going home, the night is still young!" Alyssa yells as she struggles out of Bianca's grip.

Bianca yelled back "Stop being a child!"

"Bitch you're the old one here"

"You're in your thirties!"

Finally, Bianca got her in and strapped her in her seat belt. Alyssa wasn't happy about it and communicated this by crossing her arms and frowning, pointedly glaring at the seat in front of her.

Bianca rolled her eyes "Now don't do that, you're going to be thanking me when you wake up tomorrow"

Alyssa only huffed in response.

Bianca closed the door and around the car to get to the driver's seat. He climbed in the driver's seat and wiped his brow. This night was Alyssa's gig, so she wasn't in drag unlike Alyssa who had her wig, make-up and show dress on.

Adjusting the mirror, he looked at the queen now staring out the window.

"Are you okay there?"

A "hmmph" was all Alyssa gave.

'What a drama queen' Bianca scoffed then started the engine.

It was a pretty peaceful drive. Being at least 2am in the morning, there was not many cars around. The New York street was lit up by post lights and a couple of stores made to open for 24 hours.

She rounded the curb and entered a familiar neighbourhood. Despite it being dark, Bianca knew the place like the back of her hand, from the location of each house to the placing of every tree. Finally, she pulled over at a beautiful medium-sized house with a gorgeous garden Bianca had been able to call her home ever since she got successful.

She cut the engine out and stepped into the cool night, shivering from a light breeze that blew past her. Bianca rubbed her arms and hurriedly walked to the passenger seat not wanting to stay in the freezing temperature any longer.

Opening the car, she realises why it's been quiet the entire time. Alyssa's long eyelashes brush against her cheek from where her eyes shut in sleep. Her make-up and lipstick were still pristine despite spending a long night in drunken chaos. Her fluffy blonde wig framed her head perfectly, being unfairly beautiful for someone at the end of a party.

"It must be waterproof" Bianca sighs as she looks away from the sight.

She leans over to undo her seatbelt just as another gust of wind passes over. Above her, Alyssa grumbles and trembles from the cold.

"Sorry" Bianca apologises before she could think about it.

Finally getting it undone, she realises one thing. How was she going to get her inside? Bianca was born a short person, even shorter now that she doesn't have her heels. Alyssa was basically a beanstalk compared to her and she was even in drag!

The click of a door caught her attention, and Bianca looked to find William exiting her house with a look of shock on her face. Oh! She looked down to see her carrying suitcases and remembers that the queen had asked to stay in her house for the night before her flight this morning.

William's eyes zeroed in on the person napping on her seat. Realisation passesover her features as the dots connect.

"Do you uh...do you need help with that?" William offered weakly.

Bianca sighs in relief and before asking "What time is your flight?"

Looking at her watch, William shrugs "In two hours, I got time to spare"

Bianca steps aside as William walks over to them. In unspoken movement, Bianca pulls Alyssa out to have her limp against William's hold.

William looked over at her with a raised brow when she realised who it was to which Bianca only shrugged. She didn't want to have to explain.

They each grab and limb and shut the door of the car. Bianca sighs again when  realises that she didn't have to open the door to get in. It might have been another disaster from the way Alyssa didn't wake up from all the jostling.

They bounded up the stairs and finally dumped Alyssa's body onto Bianca's bed.

William sits down with a huff as Bianca sat on the floor exhausted to the bone. They sit there for another five minutes before William announces that he'll need to go.

"Thanks" Bianca calls weakly from the floor.

William leave with a "No problem" before she gets oLut. Bianca listens to her locking the door and then starting up her car she just narrowly remembers was also parked in her drive.

The last sound of the engine fades away as Bianca pushes herself up. Alyssa was still asleep over her plush sheets, lying still as small breathes escapes her nose.

Bianca works silently as she grabs some wipes from the bathroom and stands above her. She removes her lashes and jewellery and begins to pass her over brows, cheeks, lips and neck. It takes a total of three wipes before Alyssa's drag finally comes off. Next, she took off her heels and wig to place them on the side table. A shift on the bed has Bianca turning around to find that Alyssa had moved herself to lay fully on the bed.

"Good to know you could move" Bianca mutters.

She holds one of Adore's shirts in one hand, staring at the sleeping queen. She knew how much Alyssa hated waking up in drag- it didn't help that she was a sequined dress today.

"This is nothing" Bianca mutters before beginning to remove her dress. Being a dress designer, she has seen multiple naked bodies for the sake of measurement. However, Bianca forced her eyes away from Alyssa's body as she slipped her dress off her shoulders. For some reason, it felt wrong to stare at the queen at this state. She hurriedly buttoned up the shirt then hopped off the bed.

Bianca stares as Alyssa murmurs and snuggle into her pillows.

"Thank god I removed her makeup" Bianca sighs before going to the bathroom to shower herself.

Alyssa is still in the same position as she walks in with a towel drying her hair. Without a word, Bianca turns off the lights and hops in the bed beside her.

It should be around 2:30 by now, yet Bianca couldn't seem to catch sleep. She has had a tiring day, an even tiring night, but her eyes couldn't seem to close. The answer was right beside her.

Now, sleeping in the same bed with Alyssa wasn't anything new. They've been friends long before drag race and have continued to be years after. Bianca liked sleeping with Alyssa considering she didn't move much, and she wasn't a snorer. Save for the occasional sleepy mumbles, she was the best sleeping partner.

Just as Bianca was about to rethink that final thought, Alyssa begins moving beside her.

"Bi?" Alyssa yawns and turns to face her. Her blue eyes shone bright in the dark, gleaming in a way that drew Bianca in.

"Hmm?"

"Hold me"

Bianca's eyes widen at the request. She turns fully to gauge Alyssa's intentions. Alyssa only stared back silently, those pretty eyes blinking sleepily.

"Girl you're drunk" Bianca laughs. There was no way she was going to cuddle Alyssa while was intoxicated. That was wrong.

"Nooo" Alyssa began to whine, squirming closer until she was only an inch away from Bianca.

"Hold me" she looks to find that adora- annoying pout on Alyssa's lips.

On one note, Alyssa was starting to get whiny again and Bianca would be damned if she did. On another note…

Bianca wound her arms around Alyssa's shoulders, the latter queen sighing happily at the embrace. In a few seconds, she went limp again and Bianca knew that she had just gone back to sleep.

"Bitch" Bianca yawns. It did feel nice. Their height difference made the position a little awkward, but holding Alyssa felt honestly nice and rather relaxing.

Bianca yawns again as her eyes begin to get heavy. She shifts to hold Alyssa closer and look at her sleeping face a little longer. With the final strength she had in her body she surges forward and presses her lips against hers.

Alyssa didn't move or say anything. Considering she was asleep, Bianca counted she wouldn't even know what happened. Bianca herself didn't understand what happened and why it did, but a smile played on her lips nonetheless.

"Good night Alyssa" she whispers one last time before sleep pulls her under. 3 AM.

It's almost noon by the time she wakes up. It takes a few minutes for Bianca to return to the real world and register the body lying next to her.

She freezes for a moment before relaxing when she remembers last night's event. Alyssa was already awake, still in bed with her and scrolling through her phone.

"Good morning" Alyssa rasps beside her.

"Hmm" was all Bianca said. Slowly, the sleepiness began to filter out of her system when she realised.

"Bitch that's my phone!"

The phone in Alyssa's hand didn't have her usual rhinestone casing, but had Bianca's red one. And it was definitely her gallery she was scrolling over.

Alyssa shrugs "I couldn't find mine". Bianca winces when she remembers that she can't quite remember if she had grabbed Alyssa's bag.

As if reading her mind, Alyssa answers, "Raja texted you this morning saying that she had my clutch. Bitch what if my things got lost how could have forgotten it?!"

Bianca rolls her eyes with a scoff "If you actually cared about your stuff then you wouldn't have gotten blackout drunk yesterday"

"I guess" Alyssa chuckles "But it looked fun though"

She presses on a video and Bianca hears the one she recorded just before she took Alyssa home.

"...tonight, this video is going online"

Alyssa laughs as she watches herself twirling around the pole.

"Mama you should post this online, I look beat!" Alyssa continues to fawn over herself.

Bianca huffs a breath of disbelief "You look like a fool"

"I look beat!"

"Always have"

The words were out of Bianca before she could stop them. Alyssa's laughter slows to a stop as she pauses the video. She wordlessly turns around so that they were looking at each other.

"Uuhh"

"You think I'm always hot?" Alyssa smirks teasingly.

"Uuhhh" Bianca wasn't always left speechless, it was often rare and she could tell Alyssa was living for it.

"I mean you're not the first person who said that…"

Bianca snickers "Oh shut up you narc". Alyssa and Bianca fall into a fit of giggles into each other's arms.

They dissolve into silence again not long after, and Bianca was left staring into Alyssa's mesmerising blue eyes. Alyssa didn't say anything, just letting her do whatever she wants. And she did, for what seems like a minute before Alyssa whispers.

"What?" Bianca asks her to repeat.

"I said kiss me" Alyssa says bolder "Kiss me again"

Bianca's eyes widened "I thought you didn't remember last night"

"Oh so it did happen" Alyssa gasps "I just thought it was a dream"

Bianca groans into the pillow. "You didn't remember, did you?"

Alyssa shakes her head uncertainly "Its only blurry bits in my head but I kind remember feeling you do it…" she trails off as she stares back into Bianca.

She didn't know what to do, the gentle morning she's awoken to turned stiff as some tension filled the air. Alyssa was silent, eyes communicating something Bianca couldn't decipher, but it was what got her to say the next words.

"Would you like me to remind you?"

This time, it was Alyssa's turn to be shocked.

"W-what?" The Texan woman stutters uncharacteristically.

"I said would you like me to remind you" Bianca pushes herself closer.

Now the air was positively suffocating as she waited for an answer. After about 30 seconds, Alyssa nods wordlessly.

That was all Bianca needed for her to cup her face and pull her in.

Her heart rattled excitedly at the sharp inhale Alyssa breathed against her lips. This wasn't like last night where they were both pulled into the clutches of sleep. Now, Bianca was awake enough to feel the queen's soft lips, and almost shy way of kissing her back.

It wasn't fireworks or anything when they kissed, but both of them were still breathless as they pulled away gasping. She waited a minute before Alyssa dived in for another kiss.

It was addicting.

Alyssa broke the kiss, gasping for air as she stared back at Bianca.

"Wow"

"Yeah, wow" Bianca chuckles at the astonished expression on the queen. It was adorable and she was tempted to ruin the moment by grabbing her phone to capture it.

But she didn't and only decided to pull Alyssa back into her arms.

"Hey" Bianca calls as she traced small shapes on her back.

"Hmm?" Alyssa hums questioningly.

"Would you like to have breakfast with me?" Bianca whispers tenderly.

Alyssa looks up with a pleased smile on her face "Are you asking  me out Del Rio?"

"I am that one who got a hundred thousand dollars you know"

Alyssa playfully punches her arm with a laugh "Bitch". She looks back up again "I would love to"

A silly grin spread through Bianca's features.

"Great. Let's go in twenty minutes"

Alyssa hums in approval and looks at Bianca with a look in her eyes. Bianca didn't even need to try to hard to get what she needed and pressed a gentle kiss on her lips.

As she feels Alyssa smile against her lips, Bianca thinks that she might have to thank Manila for all the work she got last night.

#rpdr fanfiction #alyssa edwards #bianca del rio #fluff #canon compliant #alyssa x bianca #drunk alyssa #tired bianca #melyssa

[give-seconds]

Sweet Lies

Summary: Sungchan wants to tell you something but is scared to do it face to face. So, he decides to write you letters telling you everything he wants to say.

Paring: Sungchan x female reader

Genre: Angst 

Warnings: cheating

Word count: 2.3K

---

Hi y/n,

I don’t know if you’re ever going to get these. I mean, as of right now, my intention isn’t to give you them. I guess these letters, like the reason they even exist, are for me. Through these letters, I hope to tell you everything I wish I had the guts to say to your face. I wish I could say this was all a mistake and that I could man up and beg for your forgiveness. But it isn’t a mistake. This is a conscious decision I made once and am continuing to make again.

Maybe you’ll even forgive me.

Love,

Sungchan

----

Good morning y/n,

You were gone when I woke up this morning. You wrote me this cute little note about how you had some special surprise planned for me today. I’m sorry, I’ll have to cancel. I already have plans today. I already know what I’ll say to you. I’ll say something about how my work assigned me to a special project and that I have to work late to help design the framework or something like that. Really though, it’s her birthday today, and I promised I’d spend it with her.

I wish I hated myself enough to stop.

Love,

Sungchan.

---

Hi y/n,

It’s kind of funny, actually. Today, you were telling me about a song you found that “is making its way” to becoming your favorite song. It’s a song from the cheater’s point of view. After you played it for me, you said you didn’t know if you could ever forgive someone who cheated on you. That you should be enough for someone, and if the person you’re dating doesn’t realize that, then they’re not someone you would miss.

After that, I was so stressed, I called her as soon as I got home. Her voice is the only thing that can calm me down when things like this happen between me and you.

I’m sorry,

Sungchan

—

Hi y/n,

Today the guilt I felt was too heavy. I called into work sick and spent the day stuffing everything you’ve ever given me into a box. It was too loud. One of the last things I put into the box was our undergrad graduation photo. It’s only been two years since then, but we look so young. Maybe it’s because I look at that photo and think how soon after that, we started our relationship. Back then, you were the only person I could see myself with.

Five months ago, I met someone who made me feel like that again. Those feelings are still there for you—I hope you never think I lost them. I just found someone who holds an equal part in my heart as you do.

Know I love you,

Sungchan

—-

My Dearest,

You showed up at our front door crying. Judging from the frantic knocks on my door from Jungwoo, you scared him pretty bad. Not many can scare Jungwoo like that; he must really like you.

Anyways, after a cup of hot chocolate, you told me what was wrong. You said your dad had another kid with another woman and that he’d never told you about it. That when you were young, he used to have “conference meetings” with the other higher-ups that lasted a few days.

He was really visiting his other family. Your mom even knew about it; you were the only one who didn’t know. You said that you’ve never been hurt by a lie before. While drying your eyes, you decided lies were the worst thing. That from here on out, you are going to live as honestly as you could. You then asked me if I was hiding anything from you and begged me to tell you if I was. “I can’t handle any more secrets, Sungchan. So if you have anything you’re hiding from me, please, please just tell me. I need to get it all over with now.”

I almost cried when you said that, and I’m thankful you couldn’t hear the lie in my voice when I said I wasn’t keeping anything from you. There have only been a few times the bracelet she’s given me felt like it was burning my skin. At that moment, when you begged me to tell you anything I was hiding, it felt like my wrist was on fire. As soon as you left, I practically ripped it off.

I love you, and I’m so sorry,

Sungchan

---

Hey love,

I was looking through these letters today before I went to bed (I’m writing this one as a spur-of-the-moment thing before I go to sleep), and I realized I’ve only been writing about how I hate what I’m doing. And while that is true, I don’t want you thinking that’s the only emotion I feel. I know what I’m doing is wrong, and I don’t deserve to be anything close to the good guy. With that being said, I owe you the truth. But if hearing me talk about my relationship with her is too painful, I suggest skipping this letter.

I met her about six months ago at a flower shop. It’s the shop I bought the flowers I got you for your birthday. She helped me pick them out. Now I don’t know what came over me, but when she asked me who I was getting flowers for, I told her they were for my mom. Before I left, she gave me her number. I almost threw it away, but right before I let go, something stopped me.

I felt something for her, and I still do. It felt like what I felt for you when I first started realizing I liked you. The immediate feeling of comfort that comes when I hear her voice, the blinding smile, the beautiful personality. It was all the same as when I met you.

I’m not trying to say she’s you; she’s more emotional when it comes to watching movies (I still want to find one that’ll make you cry, I know there’s one out there), and she’s a bit more hyper than you are. But the point I want to make is, the things I feel for you, I feel for her. I don’t know how much that’ll mean to you when (if) you read these, but know I feel so much for you. You were the light of my college years, and you continue to brighten my day.

But so does she. She knows things I don’t and can open my mind to a whole new world. She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met, and it’s frankly amazing.

I’m trying hard not to talk too much about her in this—I don’t want you to think she’s better than you. I just want you to understand that no matter how many times I talk about how much I hate myself or the guilt I feel, I continue to tell you and her lies. As long as I have you two by my side, I’ll continue telling lies.

You both mean so much to me,

Sungchan.

---

Hey y/n,

This letter will be pretty short; I just wanted to tell you what a good day it was today. We spent the whole day together, which always feels therapeutic. I bought us lunch, we went go-carting (I beat you because you were too scared to go fast, it was great), and we looked around at different shops before we went back to my apartment to have dinner with Jungwoo.

It just feels right being with you, and I can’t thank you enough for being in my life. I think we’re a good fit, and so do you. It’s nice to be with someone who thinks so similarly to me, and I can’t get over how well we fit together. I mean, when you left, Jungwoo couldn’t stop talking about how lucky I am to have found someone who fits me so well.

I’m kind of rambling at this point, but I feel so much love for you right now that I wanted to put it down somewhere.

Thank you for being the person you are and loving me like I love you,

Sungchan

---

I’m so sorry,

I thought it was important I let you know right off the bat that I am sorry. Yesterday, I forgot about a date we arranged. We were out looking for a birthday present for her younger brother and got distracted looking at all the different shops. I never even heard the phone ring when you called. You called me five times before you texted and told me you were leaving. You had even tried to make a joke sending me a text that said: “at least we didn’t make reservations.”

Then today, I bought you flowers and told you that I was busy showing the intern around. That I had to do it on a Saturday because he’s from our office in Japan and takes Korean lessons on the weekdays. We do have an intern from our office in Japan here, but I’m not the one showing him around. You told me it was okay and that you understood, but I could tell you were still really hurt.

I feel like an idiot. I know cheating is bad, but I told myself that when I got into another relationship, I would never forget a date with either of you. That was the only standard I was trying to hold myself to, and I failed.

I’ll try harder to never forget a date again,

Sungchan

---

Hey y/n,

I think this is the last letter I’ll get to write to you. Well, I don’t think, I know.

You came to me today, asking what I was doing last night. I lied and told you I was at home watching TV. If there’s anything I will never forget about that conversation, it’s how you looked at me. You had smiled, nodding your head as you looked at me with teary eyes. You looked heartbroken.

When I tried to hug you and ask what was wrong, you shook your head no and backed away from me. Now that truly broke me. So I asked you what happened and you told me about how someone you knew saw me at the movie theater with a girl. You asked me to tell you who the girl was, and I begged you not to do this. I said that if you did this, it wouldn’t end well. That all the memories we had made together would be tainted.

You laughed and told me it wasn’t your fault the memories would be tainted; it was mine. You then asked me again to tell you who the girl was, and I told you what I had done.

I’m not sure when I started crying, and I’m still crying as I write you this letter. You were crying too as you told me we were over. I asked you to listen to me, and you just shook your head. As you walked to the door, you told me you would come by tomorrow to give me the stuff I keep at your house that I should pack up everything of yours. That’s how I’m going to give you these letters.

You also told me that if I’m still a decent person, I would tell the other girl about you. Believe me, after seeing your reaction I want to. But I can’t lose you both. Maybe soon, the guilt I feel when I look at her will make me strong enough to tell her.

Believe me, I know how selfish that is. I just can’t bring myself to do it.

I’m so sorry, and I love you,

Sungchan

---

Sungchan,

I couldn’t even bring myself to say something like “hi” or “dear,” you’re not dear to me anymore. That’s not to say this doesn’t hurt; I still can’t believe you did this to me. I mean, I thought I knew who you were.

I’m not writing this to tell you it’s okay or that I understand you through these letters. I’m mostly writing this because I don’t think I can face you right now. Again, I will never understand how you could do this. I thought I knew you. We’ve known each other for four years, two of which we were dating, and I still can’t believe I don’t know who you are. So while I don’t blame myself for this, I can’t help but wonder. If I knew you better, would you have been able to lie to me for so long?

I hope you know you’re not the hero here. You wrote that one letter about how you didn’t think you deserved to be the good guy, but you wouldn’t be writing these letters if you didn’t think you were justified in some way. You were in no way a decent person, and I hope you remember that.

You also tried to say you loved me throughout your affair. If you loved me, we wouldn’t even be having whatever this is right now. If you loved me, you would have told me about her when I asked you to tell me if you were hiding anything. If you loved me, it would have been you who told me about your cheating and not a coworker. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was for me? This lady who I only talk to on occasion now knows my boyfriend didn’t value me enough to be committed to our relationship. She only knew what you looked like because she happens to follow me on Instagram and saw all the photos of us I had posted. You don’t love me, and I hope you can stop lying to yourself.

And you’re right—you are being completely selfish by not telling her. So I decided I had to be the bigger person, once again, and tell her myself. I swallowed my pride and asked my coworker to look through your followers with me until she found the girl she saw you out with. I sent a message to her explaining the situation, and guess what? She believed me. You should be hearing from her soon—that is if you haven’t already.

Goodbye cheater,

Y/n

---

Thank you all for reading! I’ve been listening to Sweet Lies by EXO a lot lately, so I decided to write this. Thank you to @jiwvnie and @pastelsicheng for proofreading this for me! 

I would love to know what you thought about this, and I hope you all have a great day/night!

Masterlist

#nct-writers #nct sungchan #sungchan x reader #jung sungchan #nct scenarios #nct imagines #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #NCT

[caxsthetic]

Fine Line

Suna Rintarou & F!Reader

A Whisper: Hey, Rinrin. Why would you do that to me after I gave you everything? Why did you still steal the only thing that I want?

Ep. ⇚ Through Suna’s Eyes ⇛ Akagi’s 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. GRAND MASTERLIST .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Rise and shine, Rinrin!"

He groaned and immediately buried his head under the pillow, trying to muffle your cheery voice as he was sure the sun was not even up yet. Your footsteps could be heard as they came to a stop right beside his bed. "Come on, Rin..." Not again. "I prepared a gift for you under the fireplace!"

Christmas morning was always like this. Your strength somehow could wreck the lock of his door, thus becoming one of the reasons why he would never want to have any physical fights with you (not that you ever get angry at him anyway).

"What time is it?"

"Five o'clock."

You chuckled a little, knowing for certain how your brother despised mornings. He always slept late at night, usually playing video games with his online friends. Though you would make sure that he at least got enough sleep, especially when there was morning practice for his volleyball club.

"Ngh, why do you always wake me up at this hour every Christmas?" He groaned, voice a little bit muffled as he kept his face buried in the sheet. "I hate you sometimes."

No, I do not.

"Can't you leave? I don't like how you barge in my room."

No, stay. I enjoy your presence so much.

"Just go back to sleep."

No, no. Don't go back to sleep, stay. Wake me up like you always did.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

He groaned and immediately buried his head under the pillow, trying to muffle the sound of his alarm clock. He hated it, how every morning only reminded him of the fact that you were not here anymore.

When the two of you still lived together, you would knock at his door every morning — gently because you knew how it could make him feel dizzy if he woke up startled. Though it was a different case every Christmas morning. Because when the hallowed day came, you wanted nothing more than to spend as much time as you could with the whole family.

His hand mindlessly searched for the alarm clock. Clicking the button on top of it so the annoying sound would stop. And now it was silence, engulfing him as he was sleeping there all alone — still waiting for his phone to ring.

Ten seconds, thirty, sixty. It had been a minute and yet his phone screen didn't lit up, not even once for he was hoping that someone sent him a message. Not just some random person though, he was waiting for one particular name to pop out; yours.

Every morning since the two of you parted ways, you never forgot to call him, or if not — maybe leave a message. It was your routine, one of your habits as you just wanted to make sure he eats a proper meal, that he slept well and kept himself hydrated.

You never once skipped a day, not even when you were exhausted after working so hard to help your fiancé expand Onigiri Miya.

But there was no message or phone call from you, not anymore. And the first morning he woke up without any of your greetings around ten months ago, he knew that deep down — you found out what he had done.

He pulled his pillow off from his head, staring into the ceiling as he waited for the sun to peek behind the curtain. The temperature was freezing, and he wanted to just curl up in bed all day long, accompanied by the heater that was enough to help him cope with the brutal weather.

Nevertheless, it was not enough to melt the ice that had been built inside his heart.

No matter how much he wanted to stay at his apartment and never leave the bed, he already promised his parents to pay a visit today. He remembered how his father begged him to spend Christmas with them, telling him that he was still their son, no matter how much of a wrongdoer he had become.

No matter if it was because of him — the family would never be completed anymore.

"Open up!" You really couldn't contain the giddiness that was bubbling inside your heart as you handed the brunette a gift box. "Come on, Rinrin!"

The two adults laughed at how joyous you always looked around your older sibling, a sharp contrast when it compared to him that still had sleepy eyes and yawning here and there. His fingers gently unwrapped the gift, so slow as he wanted to see how your face contorted in those moments.

It was amusing, the way you bit your lip as both of your hands gripped on your pyjamas. Your eyes flickered back and forth between the box in his hand and his drowsy face since you needed to know if you got him the right present or not.

And he loved it, to see your eyes sparkle with joy as he too, had the same sparks inside his green pupils since he couldn't believe what he saw.

"Holy fuck—"

"Language, Rintarou."

"Sorry, mom."

He was too shocked to say anything. You gave him things that he had wanted for a long time, one that he never thought a high school student like you could even afford.

"You did not just buy me a console." A sentence finally escaped his lips. "(Y/n), you are crazy. You can use the money for yourself. Why did you waste it—"

"Hey, it's not a waste!" You flicked his forehead, not too harsh yet enough for him to shut up. "Seeing you smile is a rare thing, you know that?" He raised one of his eyebrows, didn't understand the correlation between his sentence and your response. "And well, don't you realise something?"

"Huh? What?"

Shaking your head, your lips shaped into a pleasant smile as you still held his gaze.

"You are smiling, Rinrin." You whispered softly, chuckling a little as he could only gape at you with a dumbfounded look on his face. "Even now as you stare at me with that dummy expression, you smile."

Both of your parents really tried to hold down their squeal and tears. To see such a bond that connected you and your brother, a beautiful link of siblings. "And for you to smile, for you to be happy, is one of the things that I want to make sure you will always have."

His grip on the steering wheel tightened, knuckles turned to white as he collected himself. Fifteen minutes had passed since he parked his car in front of his parent's house. The house where he grew up, his childhood house became home since both adults always welcomed their children with open arms.

Green orbs fell to the courtyard where you usually attacked him with a snowball. The twins used to follow through, shouting and declaring war to you and him. And the Suna residence — officially became the place where everyone spent Christmas together.

He didn't know what to expect if he knocked on that door. You were there last year, preparing the food and dragged him to taste all of the cuisines that you made. He would always say that it tasted good, perfect even, and each compliment was not a lie since you were indeed a blessing at the household.

Last year you gave him a new sports shoe, a pair that was not even out yet on the market. Though with how well connected you were as a businesswoman, it was an easy thing to get, and you love to do extra things for him without another thought.

Last year you opened up the door, wearing a comfortable sweatshirt that he knew it belonged to your fiancé. You didn't wait for another second to pass before engulfing him in a tight hug, whispering how much you missed his presence.

Last year you were laughing with him, joking around as the two of you circled the fireplace. You sat on Osamu's lap, listening intently to every word that he said, ignoring how handsy the black-haired man was as you focused yourself on him.

Last year you were there, gentle orbs gazing at him with fondness, breathing in air and so much alive.

That was the difference, one huge aspect that deviated the last Christmas and the current.

Yet he was here once again, staring into the wooden surface of the front door. He lifted his hand, taking a deep breath before he curled his fingers before his knuckles made contact with the old wood.

He caught a familiar voice shouting from inside the house. Always so loving, always so strong. And the second the door opened, he was greeted by another gaze that always made him feel so loved.

"Oh, dear, how long have you been outside?!"

His mother grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside, closing the door in an instance. He wasn't given a chance to say anything as her fingers gently dusted the snow that covered his coat. She muttered something under her breath, he didn't know what the words were, yet he was pretty sure it would be about how worried he made her feel right now.

"Mom, I am fine." He muttered softly, eyes watering as he couldn't believe that his mother still cared for him. The affection that he got was endless — either from you or from the whole family. And the way it was still the same as how it used to, he knew that deep down he did not deserve to feel such fondness. "Do you need help with anything?"

Her gentle touch helped him take his coat off, hanging it on the wall before facing him once again.

"Well, your father is in the kitchen. Maybe you can ask him instead while this old woman set up the fireplace and arrange the dining table."

"You're still not that good at cooking, mom?"

"Oh, shush now, you lanky beanpole!"

He chuckled a little as his mother held her chin up in dramatic annoyance and strode towards the living room with so much force, stomping the ground. As much as she tried to look like she was angry at him, he knew that she was not. And right now as he walked through the house, feeling so much love dancing in the air, he almost forgot about the things that he did. Almost.

"Hey, son." His father waved at him the second he popped inside the kitchen. "You were awfully late, did something halt you?" He didn't answer, still thinking about a proper answer and washed his hand first, knowing how strict the old man was when it came to hygiene.

"I fell asleep." It was a decent answer, at least one that was actually believable knowing how it was mundane to him. "And I forgot to set the alarm on my phone, sorry, dad." But he was his son, the old man could know when the brunette was lying or not.

"Ah, that's fine." But he let it slide, knowing the reason was probably circling around you. "The food was all done, just help me put it on the bowl and plate, kid."

Rintarou nodded and grabbed the necessities from the cupboard, setting it down on the kitchen island to make it easier for his father to arrange the food. His green orbs eyed how effortlessly the older man moved to make sure everything organized neatly.

It was always a mesmerising sight to see, felt the same for every year that went by. The room was so serene, as he could see you laugh around the kitchen, helping you and his father as your existence was enough to brighten the whole room that you walked into.

"Have you talked to your mother?"

"Yes, for a few seconds."

"I see."

Silence engulfed the room once again. And if it was not because of the classical music that played in the background, this house would be so quiet. "And did she talk about anything weird? Did she mention—"

"Why are you guys taking so long?" Both of the men jolted when the familiar voice boomed throughout the kitchen. "I already finished with the dining table, but it wouldn't be complete if you guys just hang around here, whispering to each other."

His mother folded both hands in front of her chest, the same orbs that very much similar to you pierced his soul. He gulped down, wanting to explain anything to make her calm down. But before he could part his lips, a sweet chuckle slipped from her lips. "Oh, my dear, I am just joking!"

Both men immediately let out a sigh, relieved that turned out she was just playing around with them. Rintarou and his father immediately brought out the food to the dining table, his mother followed behind.

"Oh, and Rintarou," The older woman called him out right after he was done setting the food down. "Can you call (Y/n) to come downstairs, dear?"

Both men looked at each other with worry when the words rolled down her tongue. Swallowing a huge lump, the older Suna had his hands on her arms, ups and down as he tried to calm her down. And Rintarou could do nothing but to watch his parents with confusion written on his face.

"Honey, my beautiful wife."

She turned her head to the side, raising one of her eyebrows when her husband looked at him with grief and distress.

"What? Why did you look at me like that?"

"(Y/n) is not with us anymore."

The room suddenly felt so cold, as if there was no heater there when the couple gazed at each other with a look that showed nothing but remorse.

"No, I saw her a few minutes ago. What do you mean? Did she leave?" Her fine line became more visible as she scrunched up her forehead. "How dare that little rascal leaves without telling me anything? Bet she's snogging somewhere with that silver-haired young boy Osamu."

"Honey, please."

Rintarou could feel himself trembling as his eyes still locked to his parents. His father looked so calm, yet he knew that something was torturing them. "Our little (Y/n) is not with us anymore, honey. We attended her funeral two weeks ago." Something that his father wanted to tell him before.

His mother parted her lips, wanting to deny the sentence. She tried to form any logic or reality that her mind could construct. Her orbs started to glimmer, but not with affection like how it used to. It coated with tears, little by little forming at the corner of her eyes.

"N-no, don't lie to me." She freed herself from her husband's embrace. "(Y/n) is just spending time with her boyfriend at the Miya residence. She will come back." Her legs brought her body in front of her son, smiling up to him with her usual genuine smile. "Right, Rintarou?"

He didn't know how to answer that. He didn't want to believe what was unfolding in front of him. She looked at him with pleading eyes, as if begging him to say yes, that you were safe and sound outside, perhaps in the arms of Miya Osamu.

But he couldn't lie, he couldn't lie anymore after doing that for months behind your back.

"No, mom." He muttered under his breath, voice wavered. "(Y/n), she, she died." And he could feel his heart broke all over again when his mother took a step backwards, away from him. "M-mom? I am sor—"

"N-No, I swear it was all just a nightmare." Her voice coated with distress. "You are still in Inarizaki, right? Come on, dear. Call your sister, just invite Osamu and Atsumu. Invite the whole family! After all, I know that they would be our family too."

She kept rambling, on and on as she tried to close her eyes from reality. "(Y/n) will get married to Osamu, I can see it. And I really approved their relationship, they are meant for each other." She giggled softly, tracing the plate on the table. "They are so in love, and they become the best version of themselves when they are together."

"Mom, I—"

"So, why?" Her eyes penetrated on his face, deep inside his soul. "Why did you do that, Rintarou?" Gaze that filled with disappointment and disbelief. "Why did you destroy the love that was meant to last forever?"

Because I love him too. He wanted to say that, he wanted to justify what he had done. But as he stood there, as he realised all the damage that he had done, he wished he never slept with the man that was supposed to be yours.

He looked down, biting his lips as he couldn't handle the fact that he made his mother like this. He had hurt not just one person, he didn't just hurt you and tore your life apart, no. But he too, holding his parent's heart in his hand, and the only thing that he did at the end — was to ruin the love that flows on the entire family.

Receiving no answer she hastily grabbed the empty plate on the table, throwing it towards his direction before his father could even stop her. "I don't want to see you, you are not Rintarou!" The older man grabbed both of her arms, securing her as he whispered sweet nothings to calm her down. "No! No! I want her back, I want my son back too."

She wailed, a painful cry packed the room that was supposed to be filled with laughter. Yet he couldn't look away, as the impact of what he did unfurled in front of him.

He should have run, evading all the harsh words that were being thrown towards him. But he didn't, he stood still as his mother screamed at the top of her lungs with tears streaming down her face. His father could only bite his lip, as there was nothing else that he could do.

"You are not my son! You are not!"

Rintarou didn't move an inch, as he soaked all the rage and pain that his mother — who always loved him from before he was even born — wanted him to feel.

"Give me back my son, you monster!"

He could feel it seep into his soul. The impact of your death to her, how she was now nothing but a broken woman. And he didn't even retaliate, he hugged all the rage and sorrow like an old friend.

"Give me back my daughter!"

Because he deserved — every pain and wrath that this world gave to him.

Tagged Lovelies:

@muffins-puffins​ @quirksandbreaths @vlovers-world @blacckdiamondposts @atsunflower @hihiq @the-fandom-ness @murasakibaraa @verbluehte @simp4tsukkii @ladyalicevii @evermorehaikyuu @clowninfortodoroki @koutaroulovebot @fitriiaw @mistypoison @aquariarose @greenleaf-fantasy @t-amajiki @kuraomi @haikyuuwithadashofart @starbybokuto @shiningstar-byulxx @nerdyphantomlady @raequii @akasuns @sugawsites @macaronnv @spicyfoodboi @killuaking​ + @yoitsseulgi @hhwanggu​ttu

#suna rintarou #suna rintarou imagine #suna rintarou scenario #suna rintarou angst #miya osamu x reader #haikyuu miya osamu #miya osamu imagine #miya osamu #haikyuu angst #miya osamu angst

[bqstqnbruin]

I hate it when you stare

Wow here I am with another part, another fic. Ignooooree my typooos. Is this more soft smut? No one told me last time if what I wrote counts so uhhhhhhh

Read the whole series:  I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair // I hate the way you drive my car // I hate it when you stare // I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind // I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme // I hate the way you’re always right // I hate it when you lie // I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry // I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call // But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all

I really do have work to do for my class at 2:30 tomorrow but instead I finished this, so I hope you like this!

_______________________

“How is it bullshit? Everyone can tell that we’re in love with each other.”

“So, what, because other people believe it, that automatically means it’s true?”

--------------

Evelina was visiting home for the weekend for her mom’s birthday, which meant that you had the apartment to yourself. From Friday after work until Sunday night, you were free to do whatever you wanted by yourself. Or, you thought you were going to be doing whatever you wanted until your boss texted you saying that he wanted your project finished by Monday so you could present it that afternoon. That meant you were posted up on the couch, your hair tied in a bun on top of your head, a mug full of coffee, another of tea, and a cup with water all in front of you, the blanket normally on the back of your couch now draped over your shoulders. It was a full call to the hungover days you had back in undergrad when you woke up late and were struggling to finish the work you had due the next morning.

“It’s me!” you hear a familiar voice call from the door, snapping you out of what might have been the first and only roll you had been on working on the project.

You look up to see Matthew coming over the couch, plastic bags in hand to plop down on the table. “Remind me to change the locks.”

“That would mean you have to get up to let me in, though,” he sends a wink in your direction.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at him, even though you felt butterflies throughout your entire body at the sight of him looking so comfortable next to you. It was just because he’s a guy, not because it’s Matthew. You let out a quiet sigh as he fiddles with the remote to your TV. “Who says I wouldn’t leave you in the hallway? Plus, I thought you were supposed to have practice today?” you ask, trying to focus more on your project than on him.

“We’re done, and we don’t have a game for three days for once, so we’re resting up. I figured, why not come see my favorite girl?” he says, resting his hand on your shin once your drape your legs over his lap. 

“Because Taryn is in St. Louis so you settled for me instead?”

He scoffs, slowly running his hand up and down your bare leg while his eyes fixate on the television screen. He had to be able to feel the goosebumps that he was causing with his touch. “Fine, my favorite girl in Calgary unless Taryn is visiting, are you happy?”

“Am I ever happy when I’m around you?” you tease, lifting only your eyes from your screen to look at him. Still staring at the TV, you can see the smile on his face, but it almost looks like his jaw is clenching, like he’s fighting saying something back.

“And how could I not be happy around you when you treat me like that?” Your eyes linger for a second on his smile before scanning the rest of his body. Even under the long-sleeved dry fit shirt he was wearing, you could see the outline of the muscles that graced his abdomen. His arms looked like they were begging to rip the seam of the shirt, and you wanted nothing more than to take it off of him and just let them free. “Do you like what you see, babe?” you hear him say, snapping you out of the thoughts you were convincing yourself meant nothing as he was looking at you out of the corner of his eye. 

“I’m trying to picture you as a more attractive guy,” you lie, “It would be so nice if Elias were here, wouldn’t it?” 

“If you’re implying that you want a threesome, then I don’t think I could do it with a teammate,” he laughs, his fingers tightening around your shin. Would Elias be better than Matthew? Any guy would be better than Matthew, you tell yourself. He’s your best friend, and nothing more. 

“What have I said about being crude?” you ask him, fixating your eyes on the way he’s biting his bottom lip. “I think I’m gonna go get my headphones so I can do this project.” You bolt from the living room to your bedroom, leaving Matthew there by himself while you search for your phone in a panic. 

“Hey, is everything ok?” Evelina says on the other end of the phone call as you try to search for your AirPods in the mess that was your room.

“No, Matthew is here.”

“And that’s bad because?” she asks, drawing out her last word.

Groaning, you drop your phone on your desk, prompting Matthew to call to you asking if you were ok. “I’m fine, don’t worry.” Turning back to Evelina, clearly in a panic that she could hear in your voice, “Matthew is here and I think I’m horny.”

“You’re always horny for him because you’re in love with him.”

“I’m not in love with him and I’m honry because I haven’t been touched by a man in like, three months. It’s starvation.”

You hear her groan on the other end, her parents voices in the background. “Hold on, I need to go into another room,” she says. “Ok, so you really told me two days when you got home that you and Matthew nearly fucked in public  in the liquor store. You have been touched by a man. He was also practically feeling you up at the bar a week ago, might I remind you.” 

“I don’t love him,” you say, unprompted, “And he never even kissed me.”

“Says that hickey that you somehow didn’t notice he gave you?” she says, you turning to your mirror to touch the mark she was talking about. You honestly didn’t know it was there until she said something to you when you walked in the door. “If you don’t love him, why don’t you just tell him to leave?”

“I want company and he’s the only thing I have when you aren’t here. Really, this is all your fault.”

“That was so sweet until you blamed me. If you don’t want him to leave then what’s the problem?”

“Horny,” you say at the same time. “Either do something about it or control yourself, babe, but I’ve gotta go. Miss you, love you,” she says, hanging up when you finally find your AirPods.

Pulling up your playlist so it’s already playing when you get to Matthew, you don’t even look at him as you take your computer back in your lap and throw your legs in his. You can feel his eyes tracing the outline of your body even under the baggy sweatshirt you had on from a college you never went to. 

You had worked for what was probably a solid half hour, Matthew mindlessly rubbing his hand on your leg like he did before, you needing to do everything in your power to stop from thinking about and wanting more. You were interrupted by Matthew reaching over and tugging on the hem of your shorts. “Are you really listening to Christmas music right now?”

“Is it that loud?” you ask, turning the volume down immediately.

“No, I can read your lips. You were mouthing ‘Feliz Navidad,’ and ‘Sleigh Ride.’”

“Oh, then, yes,” your cheeks flushed with embarrassment that you didn’t even realize you were doing that. 

“It’s March, babe.”

“Ok, but Christmas music is fine year round.”

“No?” he questions.

“So I’m going to tell you why you’re wrong,” you start, moving your computer to the table so you don’t drop it, provoking a laugh to escape from his lips, “While I don’t agree with all things in Catholic and the broader Christian doctrine, there are things I can agree with basically because they are up for interpretation, so I interpret them in the way I like. Take, for example, the ninth commandment: love thy neighbor. Some people take it as a literal ‘love thy neighbor’ as in ‘be a good neighbor,’ to the ones who live next door, but I think it’s a matter of caring for those around you, neighbor not being the person immediately next to you wherever you live, but just other people in general.”

“What is your point?” he asks, a devilish grin spread across his face.

“My point is that the Bible, which is the end all be all of Catholic doctrine according to some people, is up for interpretation and people use it the way that benefits them, no matter how wrong they normally are. In Hebrews 13:15, it says, “Through him let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name,” thereby, justifying and promoting listening to Christmas music year round. It praises Jesus, who is one of the persons that make up God, and doing year round is continuous.”

“I don’t think that’s how that works.”

“Hey, if people can be assholes and use a 2,000 year old book to try to wrongly justify their bigotry and homophobia, why can’t I use it to rightly justify my listening to christmas music all year?”

“Are you Catholic?”

“No, but that doesn’t mean I can’t learn about it and keep the things that I like with me. I’m not Jesuit but I follow their ideals like ‘care for the whole person’ and ‘be a man or woman with and for other.’ And Evelina’s parents are very religious, so we kind of put up a front whenever they visit to please them. They still think we go to Mass every Sunday.” 

“Is that why there’s sometimes a crucifix by the door?” he asks, you nodding along. “And that weird Jesus magnet where he has a chefs hat and it says ‘fish and bread are served’ underneath him?”

“Yeah, I think her dad superglued that to the fridge because no matter how many times we’ve tried to get it off it won’t budge. Plus it’s a reference to another Bible passage.” 

“I went to a Catholic high school, remember? I already knew that.” You can’t help but return the smile he was sending your way, this time your eyes flicking down to his lips, you unsure if his were doing the same. You snap out of it, biting your lip and making eye contact with Matthew, both of you breathing slightly unevenly at just thinking about what you could do with each other. Was Evelina right that you two loved each other?

No, she couldn’t be right, because you didn’t love him. You pick your computer back up to get back to work, not saying another word as Matthew turned back to the TV. You hit a deadend, finding yourself back to staring at Matthew’s perfect face while his eyes narrowed and a small smirk formed on his lips at something funny on whatever movie or show he was watching. 

“Ugh, fuck,” you groan, Matthew’s head snapping to your direction as you cover your face with your hands. “I don’t want to do this anymore.” 

He reaches over and pulls your hands from your face, intertwining his fingers in yours. “Take a break, I brought food for us.” 

“You didn’t cook it yourself, did you?” you ask. The last time he had made food for you, you were sick for a week from what you’re sure was food poisoning from something being undercooked.

He laughs, the pad of his thumb rubbing your palms. You could feel your breathing get shallow by this, trying to ignore it while he’s talking to you. “No, I got it from the store down the road, already made. Mac and Cheese!” he says, pulling it out of the bag.

You roll your eyes at his stupidity. “Matthew, we’ve been sitting here for over two hours, why would you leave that on the table instead of in the fridge?”

“It’s still warm!” he argues, opening it, “Oh and it smells so bad.” You burst out laughing as he cringes, closing it immediately. “I’ll order something else.” 

You get up to go throw out the now rancid mac and cheese in the kitchen. “Hey, where do you want to order from?” you hear Matthew call, walking into the kitchen behind you.

The list. 

It’s on the fridge.

Practically throwing yourself at it to try to tear it down in time, you rip it off the fridge and fold it up in your hand just in time for Matthew to come in. “Are you ok?” he asks you, noticing your slightly faster breathing and your hands behind your back.

“Yeah, the smell was just bad,” you lie to him, shoving the list in the band of your shorts. “And I was looking at the Jesus magnet.” 

“That thing is so creepy,” he says, both of you looking at it. Knowing Matthew, you try as discreetly as possible to move the paper to your front so he can’t feel it as he inevitably presses his front to your back, his arms draping over your shoulders. Without thinking, you reach up to touch his hands as he rests his head on yours. “It’s way too white to be Jesus.”

His arms move their way down your body, settling around your waist as he starts to nibble at your ear. “God, you are so sexy,” you hear him let out.

“You’re awfully handsy lately, aren’t you Matty?”

“Oh come on,” he says, turning you around to face him, practically pinning you against the fridge, “You know we’re always like this with each other.” 

You smile at him, cupping his face in your hands as you run the pads of your thumbs along his cheeks. “We have a weird...” you start, trying to figure out the right word to describe whatever it was you had with him, “friendship,” you settle on, not exactly liking the word yourself as your tried to hide the cringe you were sure was appearing on your face. 

He swallows hard at that word. Even relationship would have been better, even if it were more broad than ‘friendship.’ At least it wasn’t such a narrow word. It felt like even if you didn’t finish the list you didn’t know he knew about, you would never see him as more than a friend. “Well, that’s what makes it my favorite friendship.” 

The two of you stand there for a minute, holding each other and gazing into the others eyes. You could feel your breathing slow down studying Matthew’s facial features again, thinking only of how perfect they looked to you in that moment. “We should figure out where we’re getting food from,” you say, dragging your hands down his chest before dropping him all together. 

He could have stared at you like that forever. He really couldn’t think of anyone more perfect than you, anyone he would want to look at besides you. “What are you in the mood for?” he asks, moving over to the counter. Opening your fridge, you remember you still have the list folded in the band of your shorts, throwing it in before grabbing some water out. “What did you just throw in there?” Matthew asked you, having watched your every move.

“Uh, Evelina and I have this weird list that we’re putting together, it didn’t feel right to have Jesus looking over it all of a sudden,” you tell him, “But now that you had mac and cheese on my mind, I kind of want that.”

“Oh, no, you’re not changing the subject that easily,” he says, trying to reach around you to open the fridge. 

“No, come on, it’s mostly Evelina’s and I don’t know if she would want you seeing it,” you lie, batting your eyes at him and trying to contort your face to make it look like you would cry if he tried anything else. He couldn’t see the list of things you hate about it. He couldn’t find out about it. 

He sighs, knowing he wasn’t going to win this one. “I ordered you mac and cheese but I’ll pay for it if you tell me the subject of the list?” he tries to bargain. 

“Uh, it’s a list of kinks,” you lie, not knowing what else to say, and usure why that was the first thing that came to mind.

His eyes go wide, pretending to be shocked. It was the list of ten things you hate about him. It had to be. He grins anyway, trying to hide the pain he felt knowing that the list was already started, and probably nearly finished at this point, “Are any of them your kinks?” 

“Yeah,” you start to lie to him again, a grin on your face, “One of them says, ‘When Matthew leaves me alone.’”

He scrunches up his face, pretending to be hurt by your comment as he walks back to your living room. “Oh you know just how to break my heart, pretty girl.” You follow him, plopping down next to him on your couch. 

You pick up your computer, snuggling into his shoulder as he wraps his arm around you. “I have no desire to do this project.” 

“Why don’t we watch something on TV then and you can work again after we eat?” he suggests. You nod, putting the computer back down, surrendering to his pout. You feel him kiss the top of your head, scrolling through the channels. “What about Lilo and Stitch?” he asks when he finds it on one of the channels. 

“Ugh, I love this movie, but the American treatment of Hawaiians is awful, and I just can’t help but think about it every time I watch,” you say, thinking you were being annoying. “Sorry,” you apologize. Evelina was used to your rants, even if you were sure she normally tuned them out. You didn’t think Matthew wanted to listen to another rant from you. 

“Don’t get me started?” he asks, referring to the game you and the guys played at the bar.

“Don’t get me started on the American colonization of Hawaii. The Cookes’ went to Hawaii and pretty much obliterated the royal bloodline. The king of Hawaii had the Cookes build boarding schools for the royal children, with good intentions that they would be able to educate his children on royal customs to effectively rule their land. Instead, the Cookes took the Hawaiian customs and told them they were wrong, imparting their own customs on them, instead. They wanted he land for America, they wanted to eliminate the Hawaiian culture and make them as American as possible,” you say. “The Hawaiian people were a very sex positive people, but oh no, American Catholic education and their ‘no sex is the safest sex’ ideal stopped the children from living the lives they grew up expected to live. If a boy was found in a girls room doing anything in these boarding schools, they would beat the children as punishment, and probably other things that weren't even recorded. There are actually a decent number of Wikipedia pages that have had this information erased, like when you go back into the edit history. The sources, as they claimed, weren’t valid, but in reality they weren’t the Cookes’ American-centric description of these schools. They even went so far as introducing sports into the schools as ‘an antidote to the worst evil of all: sexual promiscuity,’” you comment, drawing a laugh from Matthew. “Because we all know how much athletes hate sex, right?” 

You look up at Matthew, him beaming down at you as Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride starts ironically playing in the background, “Yeah, we hate that,” he whispers. You swallow hard, trying to ignore any feelings that might be coming up at the sight of Matthew biting his bottom lip. 

“American’s always just insert themselves where they don’t belong,” you finish, settling your head back onto his shoulder as he pulls you closer to him. 

“Why do you know all of this?” he asks.

You shrug, not really sure how to answer, “I don’t know. When I’m doing work I see one word and it sends my mind into this never ending tangent and I end up looking up stuff online and reading for hours.” 

“You really are the smartest person I know,” he says with a sigh, “Why hasn’t Ev told her parents about hiding the Catholic stuff until they come?” 

You shrug, “I don’t know. I never asked, she just told me it was something she needed to do, so I did it with her. That’s her own cross to bear,” you say, taking a minute to realize the really bad pun you just made. “Ah! See what I did there!” you practically yell, Matthew groaning.

“On that note, I think I need to leave,” he jokes, getting up off the couch.

“Oh, come on, no!” you beg, taking him by the hand and trying to drag him back down to the couch. “I don’t want you to leave,” you let out as he pulls you off the couch. 

“Really?” he asks you, sitting back down on the couch, your hands still connected.

Standing over him you nod as he pulls you into his lap, straddling him. He pulls you as close to him as you can, your hands wrapped around the back of his neck. Your mind flashes back to the liquor store, the feeling that came over you as he worked his way along your body like you had a feeling he was about to do again. 

“Come on Matthew, you know this isn’t something we do,” you tease, even though you can’t help but look at his lips, the urge to kiss him creeping up on you as you tried desperately to suppress it. If any guy had taken you into his lap like Matthew just did, you would want to do the same thing. You were just desperate for a man, not desperate for Matthew. 

“We can’t do anything?” he teases, going for your neck again. You let out a moan, praying that he doesn’t leave any more marks that you’ll have to cover up later. 

“Wait,” you say to him, pulling him off of you. He looks slightly upset, not sure what to do next. ‘Ah, fuck it,’ you think to yourself, pulling his shirt off over his head, tossing it to the side and returning the favor of the hickey he gave you. You suck on his skin, listening to the moans that escaped from his lips this time, feeling him grow hard the longer you were at it. He clenches his hands on your butt, pulling you even closer to him. You work your way up his neck and to his jaw, his grip getting tighter the closer you were to his lips. You had no idea what was coming over you and causing you to want to do this, but nothing in that moment felt better. Nothing in your life had ever felt better as you kissed his face the way he did to you the other day, hearing him moan more and more with every connection you made. 

Your lips are millimeters from his, both of you practically begging the other for connection when you’re startled by the sound of Matthew’s phone ringing. You both laugh, foreheads pressed together. One more second and it would have happened. “I think that means our food is here.” 

“Perfect fucking timing,” he mutters, not loud enough for you to hear as you get up to go grab the food. He couldn’t believe you just did that. He checks his neck in his phone camera, seeing it littered with the red marks you had left for him. He reaches up to touch them, smiling for some reason. There’s no way this list would work against him, would it? 

You come back, him practically throwing his phone so you don’t see what he’s doing, settling down on the couch with each other eating the food. Your mind starts racing with thoughts about what just happened. There was no way you really wanted that, did you? Well, you wanted a man’s touch, but it didn’t necessarily have to be Matthew. It could be any guy. 

‘I have another thing for the list,’ you text Evelina, your eyes moving between your phone screen and his hands holding his food, careful not to look up at his face.

‘Good, god, what?’

‘I hate the way he stares,’ you send her, finally looking up, not taking your eyes off Matthew as the two of you can’t help but stare at each other.

#matthew tkachuk #matthew tkachuk imagines #calgary flames #calgary flames imagines #flames #flames imagines #nhl #nhl imagines #hockey #hockey imagines

[criticallyacclaimedstranger]

Fic: So Close Yet So Far Away

Fandom: Triple Frontier

Ship: Frankie Morales x Jay 'Lady' Ray

Warnings: Language, talk of sex, throwback to sex, Pope is a crude asshole. Yearnnniinnngggg.

Summary: Lady and Pope get into an argument and Frankie sorts her out. Cue some elite level yearning.

A/N: HAHAHA I wasn't even meant to write this today but I woke up with this on my mind and I just had to because they're my BABIES. This is an instalment in the Frankie x Lady series and takes place back when Lady was in Frankie's squad, before they were an item.

Jay should have known better than to ask about everyone’s weekend. She just wanted to make small talk while they got prepped for a field exercise. She wasn’t ready to hear about their night out on Saturday, how Santi, Frankie, and Benny all scored some willing chicks, Will only missing out because he had a girlfriend, not because he didn’t pull.

All the while Jay was stuck with her family, listening to her mother go on about how she was too good for the army, she should leave while she was still alive, get a normal job, marry, have kids… She could have been out with the guys, maybe get lucky herself and if not, at least have a fun night. Get drunk instead of sad.

And now she finds herself listening to Santi talk about his one night stand, not giving Benny a chance to talk about his, while Frankie, quite characteristically, clammed up about personal stuff.

“Nutted her so fucking hard and all she did was beg for more,” Santi brags, “best fuck I had in ages…”

Jay’s been in the military since she was 18. She knows how soldiers talk, she’s heard it all, she’s participated in the crude joking, she’s not put off by it. But on this Monday morning, while the squad is assembling their equipment, she doesn’t want to hear it.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Pope, do you fucking have to talk like that?” she barks, unable to hear one more word about his sexual conquests. The rest of them cease their activities in wait for Pope’s reply. Working so closely together, sometimes spending weeks cramped up on assignments builds close bonds but also breeds discord. It’s normal to be at each other’s throats from time to time but it’s rarely Jay who flies off the handle.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, My Lady,” Santi replies with a smirk, his voice at its most velvety. “I meant I made passionate love to her all night – “

“You are so fucking disgusting, you know that?” Jay hisses. “Just shut the fuck up about the whole thing, nobody wants to hear about it.”

“Clearly not you,” Pope drawls, quick to anger. In the corner of her eye, Jay notices Will shake his head at him. Don’t engage, bro, just drop it. But Santiago Garcia is someone who doesn’t let things slide when he’s in gear.

“When was the last time you got laid, Ray? You need to get those pipes cleared out. Get some d.”

When was the last time? Too long ago. She does have an itch but last time she scratched it, it just didn’t feel right. She had the same feeling of detachment as she experienced just now when she heard about last Saturday night, particularly the fact that Frankie got laid.

It’s not that she’s jealous. She’s just more comfortable with the idea that Frankie doesn’t sleep around with anyone.

“A dick isn’t going to solve my problems, Santi, unless it’s a big one up your sorry ass,” she snaps, a rude laugh from Benny telling her she scored a point. Staring hard at Pope, whose ridiculously handsome features show an obnoxious amount of amusement, she knows that he won’t budge until he’s drawn metaphorical blood.

“Just name the time and the place, Ray, I’ll be there. Will you?”

“Okay, knock it off.” It’s Frankie, of course. The voice of reason. “Redfly’s gonna be here any minute and I don’t want to do extra laps just because you two can’t play nice.”

Frankie always has that calming effect on her, even now when she’s inexplicably mad at him for having fooled around with some random girl he picked up at their usual dive. Is there a possibility of her being there again in the future? Jay doesn’t want to think about it. Right now, she focuses on the sense that Frankie’s words make. It’s not worth it. Santi’s not worth it.

“Just stay away from me, asshole,” she warns Santi before going back to her kit. The tension in the room eases and Benny, who’s closest to Jay, gives her a brief pat on the back and a nod that says Good call. She hears Frankie murmur something to Santi behind her back, then Santi’s mutter: “She on the rag or something?”

That does it. Jay throws down her backpack and spins around.

“You say that to my face, you piece of shit,” she growls, taking a step forward. Her body is quivering with pent up rage in need of an outlet and knocking Pope on his ass would serve as an adequate one.

“Jay, he’s not worth it,” Benny tries to placate her but she barely hears him. Her whole focus is directed at Pope and his shit-eating grin. He says one more thing…

“Got your panties in a twist?”

She lunges forward but doesn’t make it to Pope as several hands grab her and hold her back.

“Hey, hey, hey!”

“Calm the fuck down, Ray!”

“Crazy bitch – “

“You’re on really thin ice, too, Pope! Shut that motherfucking mouth of yours!”

Benny is physically restraining her as she practically vibrates with desire to beat the crap out of Santi, who’s held back by Frankie.

“Ray, he’s not worth it,” Benny tells her. “Take a walk. Smoke. Calm down. He’s an asshole.”

He’s right and Jay knows it. Mustering up all of her willpower, Jay rolls back onto her heels, straightens her back, and squares her shoulders. Without looking at anyone, she turns around and stomps out.

Frankie finds her by the vehicles, in the backseat of a Humvee. Her fore and middle fingers are rubbing against her thumb: she’s quit smoking but is clearly wishing she had a cigarette right now. Frankie climbs into the backseat from the other side and pulls up a pack from his pocket, offering it to her without words. Jay hesitates but eventually takes one and leans closer to him when he flicks open his lighter. Frankie can smell the anger on her, a sweaty tightness that radiates from her muscles. She sits back, inhaling deeply before exhaling in a frustrated puff of smoke.

“Fuck,” she mutters, “I don’t wanna die because of these.”

“I thought you quit?”

“I did.” She throws him a glance and a grimace before flicking the cigarette out through the open door. “I thought you quit as well?”

“I keep them around for emergencies like this,” he shrugs. Jay looks pointedly at him.

“Then you haven’t truly quit, have you?”

He loves it how she puts him on the spot like this, provokes him, forces him to reconsider, change his way of thinking. She always does it with such ease, sometimes with a teasing glint in her eye. She just makes him want to be a better person.

“I guess not.” He throws her a small smile that goes unreciprocated. She stares into the back of the seat in front of her, lips tight. Frankie would love to just sit here in silence and let her lead, let her open up in due time, but he knows that if they don’t join the others soon, Tom is going to make a scene.

“Pope’s an asshole,” he states. Jay scoffs but says nothing. “But what’s up with you? You usually don’t let shit like that get to you.”

Her nostrils flare and he sees the muscles of her throat flex. Eventually, she parts her lips to speak, her voice strained.

“I spent the weekend with my dear mother, my brother, and his family. And you know what mom’s like.”

Frankie nods. Yes, he’s heard about Jay’s mother and the dislike the woman has for her daughter’s career choice. The older brother is married with one kid and another on the way and he, of course, is a saint, a pinnacle of human achievement, his children the very essence of what makes a successful life, his wife the perfect picture of Woman.

Jay suddenly twitches, then kicks at the seat in front of her.

“Fuck!I hate this fucking shit!”

Frankie refrains from putting a hand on her shoulder, no matter how much he would like to. He might end up with a broken nose.

“I cut her off,” Jay says tonelessly. “Completely.”

“About fucking time, Jay.” He’s been waiting for this to happen and he wants to tell her that he’s proud of her but it’s not his prerogative, no matter how much he would like it to be.

“Yeah,” she agrees, still not looking at him. “I kept hoping that she’d get her shit together but…” Her voice trails off and she swallows hard. “Fuck. I miss my dad.”

“He’d be proud of you,” Frankie assures her, biting off the endearment that threatened to escape him. Mi amor. Querida. He wants to be able to call her that, wants to be the one she’d come to with her sadness. Wants to be the one to call her mother and tell her to go suck an egg.

“You should’ve called,” he tells her but she only shakes her head. Stubborn as a mule.

“You were out. I didn’t want to ruin your night.”

It had been ruined the moment Santi laid eyes on the company of three young women by the bar. He had zoned in on the curvy brunette and Benny had picked the fiery redhead, leaving Frankie with the blonde. He didn’t want her, didn’t want any of the others, but he had fallen for the peer pressure and for every drink, he figured it could be a good idea to get laid. The girl was pretty, funny, nice. She had a hot body and was clearly willing. They had gone to her place and he had treated her like he would treat every woman he slept with: he ate her out, giving her several orgasms with his tongue before even thinking about putting his dick in her.

She had insisted on riding him. Frankie didn’t mind but as she bounced on his cock, her round, heavy tits jiggling in front of him, he didn’t see her face anymore. No, it was Jay all along, Jay’s long, lean body on top of him, Jay sinking down on him, her slick, hot pussy swallowing his cock while he swallowed her moan. The fantasy had become so real that he had to wrangle the woman off of him and take her from behind instead.

He left in silence once she was asleep, crept out like an asshole, a coward. He usually asked a woman if she wanted him to stay, he had once upon a time enjoyed having breakfast the next morning, sharing kisses when he finally left. But now, it all felt like cheating.

“You wouldn’t have ruined the night,” he tells her quietly. “It wasn’t that good.”

“The night or the sex?”

“The latter.” His ears are burning and he refuses to look at her.

“Too much to drink?” There it is: that sweet, amiable little taunt she saves for him only – or at least he hopes she does. He’s never heard her speak like that to any of the other guys.

“Wrong girl.”

Jay turns her head and looks at him. The distance between them in the backseat seems to shrink and grow at the same time when he returns her gaze. The hairs at the nape of his neck rise when he loses himself in the fathomless ocean-blue of her eyes.

He has to kiss her. He mustn’t kiss her.

“Are you two done with your fucking therapy session?”

Both of them startle when Tom shows up by the open door on Frankie’s side.

“I have an exercise op to run and I don’t have time to wait for you to feel quite ready, Ray,” he adds before slapping his hand to the roof of the Humvee. “Get your asses in gear.”

He leaves without having noticed anything. Frankie wonders how it’s even possible. Didn’t Tom feel the air crackle with electricity? Didn’t he hear how hard his heart was beating?

Jay gets out of the vehicle and slams the door shut, and Frankie follows suit. As they walk back, keeping a distance of two feet between them, Jay murmurs a Thank you, Morales to him.

“Sure,” he replies easily, forcing himself to sound neutral. “I got you, Ray.”

#my fic #triple frontier #francisco catfish morales #francisco frankie morales #frankie morales x ofc #frankie morales x lady