#i just never found him to be horrible or as annoying as people say bc i don't take offense to confidence or prowess or info dumpers? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fleurriee · 11 months

Text

— wanted desires ; neteyam sully

pairing ; neteyam sully x fem!pregnant reader

synopsis ; too worried about being rough on you, neteyam won’t allow himself to give into his desires, despite you having never looked more ravishing. but, it’s simply been too long for you, and you can hold yourself back no longer.

word count ; 4.4k

themes ; smut, fluff, established relationship (mates)

warnings ; explicit content: pregnant sex, p in v sex, breast play, nipple play, ear kissing, but all kinda sensual??

author’s note ; (in this, ive kinda just assumed that na’vi sleep naked) so this has slightly less dad!neteyam in it & more horny neteyam which im sorry about. i really can’t decide if im happy with it but i want to go along with the plans i have for this series & this was a chapter i’d planned a while back. i had originally planned this to be more smutty but as i started writing this i just couldn't bc even tho it's dad!neteyam who’s just 🥵 he'd be too scared to hurt you, so, we've ended up with this?? i PROMISE the next one is absolutely fucking adorable & will have everything people want when it comes to dad!neteyam!! this is part of my dad!neteyam series, which you can find in my masterlist below!

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Neteyam was everything you could've asked for... and more.

As you slowly but surely started to reach the end of your pregnancy, the last stages just looming over your shoulders, he was always there for you. You were becoming more irrational, and there was no doubt in your mind that you were annoying everyone you came into contact with. But, each and every one of them seemed to understand, and none better than Neteyam.

Your mate was constantly by your side - physically or mentally - tending to your every need and abiding by your every request. Hormones getting the better of you, you also started to take your problems and own annoyances out on him. It was completely unfair and it always made you feel incredibly guilty and horrible in the end, crying your eyes out in your mate's arms as all you could do was apologise profusely.

But, not once did he hold it against you. No - instead of taking every harsh word you uttered to him to heart, instead of truly believing that you meant them, he allowed the blows and the insults to be thrown his way, soaking them in until your temper died down and there was nothing but an exhausted, drained and broken girl in front of him. After that, he'd soothe your apologies, caging you in his arms protectively, stroking both the top of your head and your expanding stomach whilst he assured you he understood that you hadn't meant all those words, that it was okay.

He'd insist that he didn't mind taking such aggravation, not when you were doing all the hard work... not when you were carrying his entire world on your shoulders.

To no surprise of anyone, his family were as perfect as they could be, too, always either giving you a helping hand, or steering clear less they want to say the wrong thing. It was obvious from the very start of the stark differences between the two sides of Neteyam's - and, you guess, your own - family.

When it came to those that were always supportive and understanding, it was always the girls. Neytiri would constantly make sure that you were the most comfortable in any situation you found yourself in, wanting to ensure that the mother was safe and healthy before anything else; Kiri was, without fail, bringing you different concotions made by both herself and Mo'at that helped ease your pain and soothe your anxieties; and Tuk, consistently babbling about how excited she is to finally meet her niece or nephew, planning out how all she's going to do when they arrive is dote on them. Each of them had created their own roles to play in your pregnancy, and each one comfortably took your mind off the worries that were swirling around, believing that simply nothing could go wrong when you had such beautiful people around you all the time.

On the complete other side, there were the boys. Both Jake and Lo'ak were different stories compared to the rest of their families - whilst the two of them were as excited and eager to meet your baby, too, neither one of them wanted to really get too involved, something that didn't exactly bother you, rather just making you giggle at their reactions. They gave you as much space as possible, too scared to get too close in case they either annoyed you or did something wrong. Whilst Jake had done this many times before, gone through several of these similar experiences with his own mate, he didn't want to overstep any boundaries between yourself and his eldest son, considering he had no idea what it was like carrying a baby for so long. And, Lo'ak... Lo'ak was just scared of his older brother.

After all, you were now considered delicate, and they knew if something happened to you, they'd be on the feral side of Neteyam... something neither of them particularly wanted to experience any time soon.

But, there was one thing that you couldn't stand during all of this, and, surprisingly, it wasn't anyone else trying to help.

It was Neteyam, and the fact that he wouldn't touch you.

Way more often than you were used to, you found yourself feeling sexually frustrated, the only thing you needed being for yourself and Neteyam to be intimate in the same way that got you in this situation in the first place. You narrowed your sudden feelings down to the fact that it had been so long - whilst the two of you never really had sex all the time before becoming pregnant, after being denied of your wants for an excruciatingly long period of time now, you were slowly teetering over the edge.

And, it wasn't as though you weren't trying, either. Your attempts of kissing him sensually, gaining beautiful-sounding moans out of him before he forced himself away from you; touching him explicitly, feeling him shudder under your grasp, before he moved himself impossibly further away from you, eyes scrunched tight as he held himself back; laying yourself bare for him when he go home, before he sighed dejectedly and shook his head, doing his damn best to ignore you... all to waste.

Neteyam just couldn't stand the idea of hurting you or the baby.

Sure, you guess you could understand where he was coming from, too, considering neither of you had been in this situation before, having no idea if having sex could harm either one of you, and the both of you were too prideful to ask someone else about it. So, you were stuck in what felt like a never-ending loop, enjoying itself as it tortured you blissfully.

But, you had never been so frustrated in your entire life.

The day had, once again, been a long and tiring one for the two of you, trying to let sleep overtake your entire senses and succumb to the world beyond. You were lay down upon your mat, the two of you on your sides - something that always felt more comfortable against the pains in your stomach, so Neteyam was happy to oblige - as your mate's front curls into your figure, his tail automatically wrapping itself around your bump protectively, like it always did, like a ritual.

That's when you started to feel it.

Your mind was beginning to deny you of any sleep anyway, your arousal once again getting the better of you as it painted your wanted desires within the forefront of you mind's eye until there was nothing else you could think of. But, it seemed as though Neteyam was feeling something, too - a bulge poking against your lower back, throbbing gently every now and again like it was demanding your attention, like it was excited.

For a moment, you wondered if Neteyam had even noticed his own predicament, considering he was the one so desperate to not engage in this way, and now he's aching. It's ironic that the roles have suddenly reversed, and you wonder how next to play this out.

Taking in a shuddering breath when you feel his tail subconsciously stroke against your skin, you weigh up your options - you could either ignore it completely, knowing it'll be a fight to get him to give into you, allowing the sultry thoughts within your mind to be the only release you'd get... or, you could take control for yourself.

In no time at all, you decide upon the latter. It wasn't much of a decision to make, either, too wrapped up in the sensations you knew only he could give you, wanting nothing but him all over you.

You start of with the barest of movements, not wanting to completely pounce on him in surprise, knowing that if you did, he'd get angry. The best way to get him to give in was always going to be to get him weak. Fidgeting about in place, barely moving, you pretend as though you're subconsciously trying to get comfortable - after all, who was he to say that you weren't when carrying a Na'vi around constantly?

A small moan sounds behind you, under his breath like he hadn't meant for it to spill from his lips, but it already has you smirking slightly. Instantly, you know he wants this just as much as you do, and if your plan works how you intend it to, you'll both be falling asleep blissful and satisfied after too long of denying yourselves.

Your next step is start rubbing your ass against his bulge, but ensuring your movements stay slow, so as not to arouse him so suddenly. At the feel of him against you in such a sensual way, a breathy sigh leaves your lips, eyes fluttering closed as you forget how much you truly enjoyed the feel of his cock anywhere on you.

Just as you’re enjoying yourself, your ass continuing to rub painfully slow against his excitement, there's a rough hand placed firmly along the side of your hip. It's not too tight a grip, not wanting to hurt you or possibly bruise you, but it's enough to hold you down in place and stop your movements from carrying on any further. "Stop," Neteyam almost demands, voice gruff as though he's just woken up, which means he'd been dreaming about taking you like he always loved to.

His one word command does practically the complete opposite of its original purpose, however - instead of listening and giving into him, it only seems to fuel your fire, adding on to your already painful arousal. The way he said the word, sounding so authoritative and annoyed and just sexy has you wanting more, more, more. It definitely wasn't in his plans to have you reacting such a way, but you couldn't help yourself anymore, too far gone. This was the closest you'd been to one another in this way for too long.

Your response to him is a whimper, pathetic and pleading, as you force your hips to move once more despite him hand still placed firmly on you. When your ass brushes against his cock again, he hisses, the sensation no doubt sending him into overdrive, whilst his fingers hold a tighter grip, automatically indenting themselves into your skin.

"Please," you whine, breaths uneven and you were barely even touching each other. "Neteyam, please."

There's a brief moment of silence that lingers between the two of you as your words evaporate into the surrounding air, yourself guessing that it's now Neteyam's turn to weigh up the options set out before him. Unfortunately, he knows you like he knows the back of his own hand, meaning it's obvious straight away that you wont give in now that you're this close to getting what you want. Besides, despite having seen you plead for him to just touch you before you fell pregnant in a way that had him excited, he's never heard you like this - desperate, anguished, and downright aching.

It makes him feel more thrilled than he'd like to admit - especially to you, right in this moment.

With a sigh of defeat, Neteyam knows there's not much else he can do other than give you what you want - although, he could change how he does it. He removes his hand from your waist, tail staying still in its place like always, fidgeting about. You're unsure as to what exactly he's doing, not words or explanations exchanged, rather just letting him do what he wants. For a second, you wonder if your plan had backfired, and he was moving further away from you, or possibly even leaving. The thought has your heart aching in displeasure.

But, then all thoughts are wiped from your mind when you begin to feel a gentle prod against your soaked entrance, subconsciously lifting one of your legs slightly higher in the air at the sensation, before Neteyam is sheathing himself fully inside you. His hand closest to you wraps around your elevated leg to relieve you of the annoyance of lifting it up yourself. When all you can really feel is Neteyam, no longer empty but warm and full, a guttural moan escapes your lips before you can trap it, your hand coming up to slap over your mouth, eyes closed tightly as you take him whole.

You hadn't truly realised how long it had been since you last felt him this way until now. Curse him and his damn protective instincts.

In just seconds, you want nothing more than to chase more of that feeling, more of that euphoric sensation, rubbing yourself impossibly closer to him as the tip of his cock hits such a sweet spot, you're sure you're with the Great Mother in some type of beautiful heaven right now.

Before you can go any further, though, Neteyam's palm finds your hip again, stopping you in place and this time, you don't bother trying to hold yourself back. The whimpers and whines that leave your throat at such a denial are mewling and pitiful, writhing about to relieve yourself of his hold, but he's relentless. Somehow, his entire body is closer to you than it was last time, faces inches away from one another as he brings his lips to your ear. At first, all you can decipher are breathless pants as his chest heaves up and down from trying to hold himself back. "No," he grunts, puffing as he attempts to gain control once more, "we're not doing that. We're going to stay like this - that's the best I'll give you."

This time, it's a groan that falls from your lips, one that sounds almost painful but you're too annoyed to care, cursing out everything for Neteyam being such a gentleman. All you want is for him to fuck you - was that so much to ask? You're not even sure if the situation you've put yourselves in is any better than having nothing, either, because now you can feel all of him entirely, can feel how excited he is to finally be inside you as his cock throbs in pleasure at being snuggled between your walls. Now, it just feels like a taunt of what you could have.

He chuckles softly against your ear at your reaction, still having not moved - and he probably wouldn't now, not unless he wanted to really feel you. The teasing smile is wiped off his features after a second, however, and replaced by one of sympathy, words becoming softer than they were before. "I'm sorry, muntxate (wife), I really don't want to hurt you or our 'evenge (girl)."

There's just a brief split second where his loving words filter through you and knock your senses apart - of course, he wouldn't want to hurt his girls, he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he ever did. The idea of anyone harming either of you drove him insane, let alone the cause of your pain being him. But, your fleeting emotions cascade into ones of just pure desire, filtering in one ear and out the other until your mind is nothing but a hazy cloud, panting desperately for more.

You give yourself a moment to just breathe, to not hyperventilate at the exultant feeling of him fully inside you. Neteyam assures that his grip stays firm against your hip, not wishing to relent against his own commands so easily, but he does rub his thumb in a soothing circle, painting your skin with a reminder of how much he loves both you and your child.

You're quick to move your hips again, eyes staying closed as you imagine everything he could be doing to you right now, rubbing yourself against him entirely. Immediately, your mate tightens his fingers in his grasp, a clear warning sign for you to stop in your teasing, to just bask in the embrace of one another and say that's enough.

Yet, it isn't enough. It's nowhere near being enough for you. There's a feeling of being slightly impressed at the restraint he's showing to you, and irritated all the same, until another idea comes to your mind.

Smiling a little smugly to yourself, already knowing what you're about to do next is something he definitely cannot resist based on the previous times you've done it, you clench your fluttering walls around his length, taking him whole and tightly. Your own actions cause a breath of blissful relief to pass through your slightly parted lips, loving the way you can feel his cock throb even more.

Another hiss sounds against your ear, his grip tightening, but this time, so does his tail as it continues to stay wrapped firmly around your bulging figure, the end vibrating in a fever of both agitation and anticipation. Even his body desires it, but he wont allow his mind to. He's starting to pant a little more frequently, too, now, like he's weakening at the seams, and that's when you know you have him exactly where you want him.

You continue to clench around him, bringing your hips up and down his length at a tantalisingly slow pace to ensure he feels every inch of you, hitting every spot of your walls. There's a feeling of triumph coursing through you when he no longer attempts to stop you in your teasing movements, knowing he's finally allowed himself to give into you entirely. Instead, the hand that was once gripping your hip snakes its way around your front, fondling against your breasts as he squeezes them sensually. When he moves to the other one, wanting to give it the same attention, he pinches your nipple, loving how sensitive they are due to your pregnant state, eliciting a deep moan from the back of your throat, no longer caring if anyone else can hear you.

"You're a little minx, you know that?" he taunts, words a harsh whisper against your ear but you don't care - not when the once slow movements between the two of you suddenly increase in their pace as Neteyam takes over. The alternating grip, too, against your breasts tightens, constantly squeezing them as he soaks in how swollen they feel. "Always getting what you want."

The tip of his cock repeatedly probes against that sweet, spongy part within you so beautifully as his thrusts continue to increase in their speed. Your mate almost feels feral with his actions, perhaps finally realising that he shouldn't have denied the two of you the pleasure of one another, not when you were so needy. Not wanting to stop clenching around him as he moves in and out of you in a relentless pace, you can feel your release quickly approaching already, no doubt having felt forsaken for so long - you're sensitive enough as it is being pregnant.

"Neteyam-" you moan beautifully, breathily, like a songcord to your mate's ears, sure he's never head you sound so ethereal before. You have to cut yourself off as you moan in pleasure when you start to feel his balls slapping sensually against your skin, the warm sensation within wrapping around you like a blanket, one you never want to get rid of.

He brings his head closer than it already was, burying his face within the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply. Sometimes he wishes he could drown in your scent, more so than ever now that you're pregnant - somehow, you managed to emit an even more delicious scent than before. Sucking against your particular sweet spot he knows you adore having his attention on, he ensures to leave behind at least a small mark, wishing for the entire clan to know that you were his, even though you're carrying his firstborn, wanting to be sure.

Lips moving feverishly against your warm skin as he continues to fuck you at a pace that was relentless, your pleasing moans scratching against the back of your throat, he eventually finds himself at your ears, placing soft kisses against them. The sensation has them fluttering in satisfaction, but then he trails down to suck harshly against your jaw, and your breath stutters, whining. "Mmm," he hums against your skin, now resorting to placing gentle kisses when he was once rough. "What is it, sevin (pretty)?"

In all this time, whilst his mouth was focused elsewhere, not once had his thrusts faltered, loving the way you’re so drunk on him entirely.

"I'm - I'm so close, 'teyam," you mewl, eyes slightly rolling to back of your head as he grunts at yet another clench from you around his cock, before you close them shut when they start to tear up.

"I know," he agrees, words just a breathy whisper, already being able to understand how close you truly are from the way you feel around him. It feels like his mind is on fire as your walls flutter from being so close to release, clenching and unclenching around him, having lost its rhythm. His pants are becoming more erratic now, bearing down upon you, but it makes you feel alive. "I'm close, too."

Quickly, knowing that the two of you wont be able to last much longer, he brings his queue forward, the tendrils reaching out as he then connects it with your own awaiting one. Movements now becoming sloppy and uncoordinated, but continuing to hit right at your cervix, your eyes widen as you start to feel everything he currently is - all the love, the desire, the frustration - bathing in one another like two pieces of a puzzle only made for you two.

Burying his head back in the crook of your neck, hand moving down to caress your swollen baby bump - one that's just moons away from its expected day - he whispers sweet nothings against your skin, wanting to tattoo them into you so you'll never forget them. Words like I love you, you're so beautiful, I can't wait to make more, having you crooning somehow more than ever, feeling him peppering kisses to you now.

It's not long after that when the two of you are finally releasing together, explicit moans and grunts escaping your lips as your arousal's become spent. "Neteyam, Neteyam, Neteyam-" you repeat his name like a prayer, having never sounded more amazing to your mate.

You can feel the mixture of your cum with his against Neteyam's cock, awaiting the feeling of becoming empty and cold when he removes himself from you and lets it trickle between your thighs. But, nothing of the sort happens. Rather, your mate stays put, keeping his cock in your warmth, snug, and therefore, keeping all his cum pushed further in you - something he's always loved to do.

Eyes closed in bliss, mouth parted as you try to catch your breath, Neteyam gives your stomach a few tender taps, garnering your attention. Before you can fully move your head on your own, Neteyam's hand moves to cup the side of your face, bringing your noses together as you breathe one another in. He presses a forgiving kiss against your lips, letting them linger against one another, not wanting to pull away. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asks, the worry and concern evident in both his tone, but also the way you notice his ears droop and eyes glaze over just at the thought.

Looking up at him, you give him the most loving smile you could muster, shaking your head adamantly. "No, ma'teyam," your words are gentle, soothing, "we're both okay, I promise." You make sure to kiss him again with the same softness he gave you, wanting to ensure he completely understood that you meant every word, that you were okay.

This time, when you pull away, he nuzzles your noses together in a domestic way he's started to do since a few moons ago - the same way he likes to do it with your stomach, like he's doing it with your daughter. Pressing his forehead against your own, his eyes never once leave yours, full of adoration and devotion. "I'm sorry I was neglecting you..."

Instantly, your heart sinks at his words, your hand moving up to caress his cheek soothingly like he does yours. You can hear the despair and brokenness behind his voice, and it only pains you further - Neteyam couldn't have been a better mate throughout this entire journey together, but he didn't understand that. He always thought he had to be perfect, that he had to do everything right straight away, but this was a journey you were experiencing for the first time together.

Neteyam couldn't neglect you if he tried. He's too doting, too domesticated, too tender to even think about doing such a thing.

"You do not need to apologise, my muntxatan (husband). I understand why you were worried - but you never neglected me, not once. You were just scared, and so am I..." you pause, your once sympathetic and caring expression turning teasing and menacing, "...but, now that we know that it doesn't do either of us any harm, maybe we could do it more often..."

He chuckles at your words, watching as you bite your lips in mock thought, attempting to hide the sultry smile playing at your lips. It's like your words instantly managed to clear his worry, feeling it dissipate at your loving reassurance, until his eyes were bright and his smile wide, looking down at you like you held the entire universe within you.

In a way, he supposed you did.

"I guess we could..." he relents, his own tone turning into one of teasing, too, smirking as he brings your faces closer into a sensual kiss. This one is all tongues and teeth clashing together, feverish in anticipation to experience more together now that the worries once clouding over the two of you had begun to part.

As his hands roam over your body, from your jaw, to your neck, to your breasts, and finally to your stomach, caressing every inch of your skin like you were a painting, he moves to hover over you, mindful not to put his weight on top of you. A giggle falls from your lips at his sudden change in demeanour, but that's soon swallowed by another deep kiss that has your breath dispersing almost immediately.

It was safe to say, with the amount of times the two of you came together as one just during that particular night, if you weren't pregnant beforehand, you definitely would've been after that.

taglist ;

@monahiiii @bakugouswaif @andraga12 @draiochtwrites @teyums @neteyamslovrr @tinkerbelle05 @netesanrr @lanasblood @camilo-uwu @queen190 @adrianarose7 @ttkttt @ayoungforeveruniverse-blog

#𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐔𝐑𝐑’s work ── ✎#neteyam #neteyam sully #avatar #avatar 2 #neteyam fluff #neteyam smut #neteyam x reader #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam x you #neteyam sully x you #neteyam x female reader #neteyam x fem reader #neteyam x pregnant reader #dad!neteyam #dad neteyam #dad neteyam series <3

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sun-stricken · 4 months

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Man I am so happy I found your blog. Like it’s so refreshing to see a gray blog about, well, GRAY. Anyways id love to hear some more of your headcanons about gray, maybe ones on his demon slayer traits as well. If that’s ok with of course😅.

if u like my blog u should see my notes app, its almost embarrassing how full of him it is

i struggled with this ngl, single character (even when its ur fav) hc list r weirdly difficult for me

BUT I DID IT SO ENJOY!

Grays has a scarily good memory, he can see something once and be able to recall it in almost perfect detail even years later

amazing for molding, horrible for embarrassing or traumatic memories though

If someone needs something done, they go to him

He has a lot of people that owe him favors on standby, and no he will not say how those favor came to exist

he has a patch of natural white hair in his bangs, he got it from his mothers side

He has a brown cat named Catnip

shes his pride and joy

he has boxes full of letters, notes, and cards people have given him since joining Fairy Tail.

He’s really good at talking himself out of situations, as someone else said, hes a bit of a diplomat

if theres a fight or job that requires no magic hes one of the best for it

Some call it gaslighting, i call it being a lawyer in another life

Grays like, terrifyingly smart, he knows what to say, when to say it, and how

if other guilds/maybe the council did scouting, hes at the top of the list

nobody wants him as an enemy

ESPECIALLY after he got his devil slayer magic

speaking of

devil slayers are the embodiment of cute aggression

he gets the random urge to bite people

theres an 80% chance that he’ll try to head-bunt people now

if he gets too happy he’ll try to throw smth

he has ‘fangs’, really sharp canines and he probably has a self-induced tongue piercing from how many times he bit his tongue from them

the tips of his fingers are black, whether thats a demon slayer trait, or a product of having two ice magics, which makes him work in prime frostbite temperatures, is unknown, they just are

Gray collects siblings the way Natsu collects father figures

He also has a larger male following than Erza, but its okay bc she has a higher female following than him :)

he wears eyeliner. i just. i need to say it.

i want to add smth thats in every fairy tail au i make but never explicitly stated

hes deaf, he was born hoh but its gotten worse over the years, especially after Deloria

he has lacrima hearing aids and will turn them off if someone is being particularly annoying and he just isnt in the mood

he stress cooks and has gotten pretty good at it

he has a recipe book full of Isvan style foods and those are his favorite to make

He realized hes lived in Magnolia longer than he ever lived in Isvan and it tore him apart

When he writes things down, its a mix of Fioren and Islavic/Isvani writing

when he gets tired or really stressed he speaks his native language without realizing

hes a secret theater kid

hes the type to hear a song and lie on the floor for a couple hours

he tries to say he doesnt, but my god does he live off drama

he flirts when hes nervous bc its a very fun image to me

a weird amount of ppl hes dated/friends with were his enemy/rival in a sense

THATS ALL TY FOR THE ASK SORRY ITS KINDA SHORT AND ALL OVER THE PLACE

#fairy tail #sun stricken answers #gray fullbuster #sun strickens ft #fairy tail headcanons #gray fullbuster centric #gray fullbuster headcanons #love him #catnip the cat is very near and dear to my heart

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qodlysinz · 21 days

Text

TODOKAMI HEADCANONS!!!!

I just wrote a oneshot for them bc im so obsessed w todokami, they are CRIMINALLY underrated

- Denki is always cold, like touch his hand and you get frostbite. So weird bc bro HATES the cold, he gets all whiny abt it. Shoto likes to warm him up tho when they cuddle. Sho’s such a gentleman!

- Shoto can’t read the room properly (thinks it’s a literal term and scans a room for things to read 😭😭) but Denki is all up in people’s business and tells him whats going on

- speaking of all up in people’s business, Denki and Shoto gossip ALL THE TIME!! They don’t judge, they just gossip.

- “TODOROKI!! I HEARD BAKUGO BROKE HIS ANKLE CHASING MIDORIYA AROUND THE SCHOOL!” “Of course he did…” or smth like that idk

- Shoto is so attentive and caring, listens to EVERYTHING Denki has to say and makes a mental note so he can do that one thing Den really wants. Endeavor’s credit card is just so easy to swipe.

- Denki SUCKS at cooking, like horrible, but he’s somehow an AMAZINGGGGGGG baker?? No one knows how. Bro makes better cookies than Sato and only lets Shoto taste them bc he’s unbiased unlike 99% of the class (we hate sato now btw)

- Shoto, initially, sucks at cooking, but after Fuyumi and Rei help him, he’s actually really good at it. Natural chef! Denki is a bit of a picky eater, but eats whatever Shoto made bc Shoto knows what Denki likes <3

- Bakugo hates when they’re in the same room together bc they make it so awkward with their pining. Has tried multiple times to play matchmaker by locking them in a room, but for some reason Denki can pick locks like a boss and they get out within seconds

- Mina LOVES them together. She’s like Bakugo, but tries harder to actually make them confess bc she wants to see them be all couple-y (half to annoy tf out of bakugo)

- Denki is TERRIFIED of spiders, screams like a horror movie character and skedaddles cartoonishly. Shoto, on the other hand, just kills them without hesitation. He’s not scared of anything but sudden sounds.

- They study together! Comes from Den’s below average test scores and lacking in the Quirk control department. He asked Shoto for help and thats how they became good friends! (based on my oneshot hehehe)

- Denki has freakishly good memory. He’ll remember something Shoto said MONTHS ago and quote it to him to be silly. Shoto’s confused and is like “I said that??”

- “Bakugo is lucky Kirishima can tolerate him, I couldn’t without my eardrums bursting, Shoto Todoroki, May 20th, 5:24PM.” “How do you remember that…?”

- Denki is also a very good gift giver because of that! Shoto’s love language is gift giving, but Denki’s is words of affirmation, which is funny bc both of them do the opposite to each other.

- Shoto is such a romantic, says the most gooey lovey dovey stuff ever to Denki. Denki gets embarrassed over it bc he isn’t used to positive comments on himself, so Shoto mostly does it in private.

- when they do start dating they’re so good about boundaries. Shoto knows what to not do to Denki, and Denki knows what to not do to Shoto!

- their arguments are VERY rare, like once in a blue moon. If they do fight, it’s about big things like hero work and family stuff.

- they hate arguing bc they hate seeing the other look so upset, esp Shoto, seeing people like that makes him remember his mom so he tries to avoid it as best as possible 😖😖

- speaking of moms! Rei is so so so happy that Shoto found someone like Denki. Like she’s SO happy, crying and hugging Denki. She’s emotional, let her be </3

- Denki never told his parents, scared of what they’d say, but he did tell his nonexistent older sister who he sees as a mom! She’s his biggest supporter and does her best to keep it a secret until Denks is ready

- Endeavor is hesitant about this, he literally reads stuff online to learn more about what Shoto’s sexuality and relationship is like just so he doesn’t hurt him any further. Shoto was very apprehensive abt telling him, but when Endeavor took it well, Shoto was SO fucking relieved, he was terrified about what would happen 😵‍💫

- after UA Denki and Shoto live together with a cat named Appa after atla! Mostly bc he’s Aang’s companion and the two of them make one Avatar (technically) because of their elemental Quirks!

- They partner up a lot for hero work, a dynamic duo if you will. Denki has gotten a lot better with his Quirk and controlling it, but is mindful of his surroundings thanks to Shoto’s guiding.

Funnily enough I used to be SO obsessed w Denki and my friend was obsessed w Shoto to where I shipped Momojirou bc they were “in the way” of our crushes but over time I genuinely loved momojirou sm theyre so fuyendjdjd AND NOW I SHIP TODOKAMI so it all turned out okay!!

#todokami #mha todoroki #mha kaminari #denki kaminari #todoroki shouto #shouto todoroki #shoto todoroki #kaminari denki #bnha denki #mha headcanons #todokami headcanons

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fuck-customers · 2 years

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Fuck this one particular coworker, M. We all thought she was super sweet. She had a ton of health issues but she worked really hard when she was feeling well enough, often completely finishing inventory and helping out others. She'd complain a lot about her home life (stuck at home with several abusive adult children) and the health issues but she was always so helpful and kind it was hard to be annoyed with her. We'd go out of our way sometimes to help her if she'd had a bad episode.

Her issues were getting worse. She'd passed out a handful of times at work, dislocated part of her kneecap, started needing her wheelchair around the warehouse, etc. All of this is totally fine and understandable on their own, and we were so concerned for her!! We were practically begging for her to take it easier on herself at work, leave her bad home situation if she could, giving her suggestions for figuring out insurance stuff, etc.

Then she had a bad week. One of our coworkers, P, heard M talking shit about him and another coworker-- saying they needed to find a different job and that they were horrible at this one. Anyone who knows P knows he's one of the most fantastic people at his job anyone could ask for. Super great dude overall, so nice to everyone, constantly joking around and making sure everyone felt included, etc. We were all confused when we heard this bc why would she say any of that?? Sure the back had been swamped, but that wasn't his fault, nor the fault of our other coworker. It was just part of working in the back sometimes.

Then, our other coworker, A, was scrambling to push open the warehouse doors for another coworker's cart. In doing so, he hit M and she went crashing into a wall. He immediately apologized and repeatedly checked on her throughout the day, desperately hoping she'd be okay. He felt terrible. P came up to him at the end of the day and said "I was on the other side of that door with her. You barely touched her."

At the end of the week, one of our managers explained $150 was missing from her personal wallet, which she kept in the office. Management had been pretty lax about keeping things locked up because we'd all been working with each other for ages and there was a level of trust there that was... sort of just expected. It was completely shocking, but the only explanation we had was that someone had gone into the office and stolen it. It sounds silly, like "of course if you leave your personal things in an unlocked room someone's gonna steal it" but I've been working there for years and we've NEVER had an issue like that.

I spoke to P about what he thought about things. (I work in the front and rarely have a chance to hear about what happens in the back unless it's huge) and he said outright "I don't like saying it, but I think it was M." I was surprised, because I hadn't heard about her shit before, so I asked why. "When [manager] left the office, there were 5 of us in the back. Me, [insert 3 other coworkers], and M. Me and the other 3 were together the entire 4 hours she was out there. The entire time. M was the only one who wasn't in our sight. Manager found it was missing after she got back. It had to have been her..."

This sucks because it feels like the whole team took a huge trust hit even though we know who did it. No one wants to go to HR about it because they're nervous nothing's gonna happen and M's gonna retaliate somehow.

TLDR; Coworker who everything thought was a sickly sweetheart has been faking the severity of her health issues to get out of work/worker's comp, talking shit behind peoples' backs, and we think she stole a good amount of money from one of the managers.

#fuck co-workers #fuck coworkers

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hyunjining · 4 months

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agree strongly w/ you and your other anons! it's interesting and bittersweet to think back to how fandom used to be, i remember literally giving myself crossed eyes in summer 2014 bc so much was going on and i was always on my phone checking tumblr (wwa, louis turning up at eleanor's graduation in the t-shirt, harry's 'so kiss him again' tweet, list goes on !). fandom was chaos but it was alive. now i check in every few days still but it's basically me checking one blog, scrolling my sleepy dash for 2 min, and then checking back out again. every time i realise that another fan has deleted their blog or their h&l fic i get sad, but in terms of actual h&l, what i mostly feel towards them these days is apathy. louis's snarky tweets make me mildly annoyed but beyond that i genuinely feel very little emotion, good or bad, towards him or harry. not even about bbg, which the me of 8 yrs ago would truly find unfathomable. it's probably much healthier in some respects - they used to have such a chokehold over my mood - but i still miss the big joy i'd feel when either of them did something cute or even better when they did something cute together. with the apathy and how quiet it is in fandom these days i feel that a phase of my life is kind of ending too, like you, but i haven't been able to totally let go and i haven't found anything else that comes even remotely close to filling the space. h&l and the fandom in its heyday are seemingly irreplaceable. anyway.,

i totally feel the same. i think apathy is the right word for how i feel too. and just saying that is absolutely wild after sooo long of them existing in my every waking thought 😭 i’ve had some periods of apathy before, like in 2021, but never like this. like you said, on one hand it feels good not to care so much and on the other it’s just… sad. somehow i built a huge community in this fandom and sometimes i can’t help but miss 2016, as horrible as it was, just because i had so many people to commiserate with and we all joked through the pain and chaos and it was fun in its own weird way.

i hope that you end up finding something that makes you feel the joy that h&l and this fandom once made you feel 💖

#ask #i was larryalbum

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mariailoveyou-guerin · 1 year

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Jiaras obx kie fans thinking we hate or dislike kiara so much because she turned pope down or she didn’t like him back which isn’t even true bc okay a lesbian didn’t like a boy that’s not something to be mad about nor be angry or hate kie for but there is so many reason to not like or even hate her for, she did so much sh*t JB too to pope and jj who are my personal favs in the boat show!

1. Kie spent all of s1 only caring about JohnB and his issues not once did she consider pope or jj feelings or care when pope lost literally everything bc of them and jb like his scholarship his future his parents being mad at him etc that’s one, 2. Being the fact that when pope said he loved her she was so unnecessary cruel to him like sure she didn’t like pope ok that’s fine she could’ve turned him down easily but she didn’t she was brutal mean and horrible when JB kissed without her consent all she did was smile and say what are you doing jb but pope pouring his heart out to her and she’s yelling at him saying it’ll never happen! Y’all see the problem she was so nice and calm with jb just kissing her out of the blue but blew up in pope face that’s why me personally don’t like her for 1 but also other reasons like how she talks to them jj and pope how she always act like she’s better then jj how she acts like he’s disgusting or dumb

also y’all think we were mad she broke up with him no it was the way she played him lead him on all the time she was the one to incite everything the kiss them to you know she acted like it was all in his head which was so wrong but she apologised sincerely something she didnt for anything she did in s1 but at least she did now and pope was so mature and understanding for 16 year old who got his heart ribbed out of chest by his bff first love, so yeah can’t personally fault her or hate for that bc she didn’t feel the same way which is fine she tried thought she would but didn’t that’s not her fault and we would never hate her for it! It was just her leading him on playing with him his feelings felt like she just was messing with him and his feelings just to be cruel at first that was sooo fucked up but she really tried tho and gotta give her respect for it and she ended before it went on way to long even tho she should’ve before they slept together but again she’s child too and she made some mistakes! Just wanted to make it clear why she wasn’t liked by pope jj fans I personally wont can’t forgive her for the way she treated pope and jj in s1 but everything else nothing to forgive she apologised the person who’s forgiveness meant anything already gave it to her so how dare we hate her, hold grudge for that

Since I see new fans coming into the show now that s3 was announced an old fans hate for pope is back bc of kie and jiara shippers using it as excuse to hate him for no rzn saying shit like pope just mad kie likes jj and not him so he’s mean to her when all he was upset very sad validly so + as if jiara had even been confirmed in show

Found some people who got it Kie sh*t for the way she treated pope all s1 and s2 that’s why we hate her got it

the way she was just constantly awful cruel to pope for no reason was so unnecessary like fcvk her that bitch+ when he said he wanted to do that surf thing she said same but when pope said he wanted what she wanted she got so mad at him and started yelling at pope like she’s such a bitch mean awful annoying brat character

#outer banks #obx #jjpope #jj maybank #jiara #obx netflix #pope heyward #jj x pope #mayward #outerbanksedit #outerbanksnetflix #kie carrera #kiara carrera

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5s-missing-eye · 1 year

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Small rant about Lorien Legacies and stuff bc I wanna get it off my chest

I first heard about this series in like 2015 when I watched the movie with my dad and brother. I really liked the plot but I didn't know the books existed so I just kinda forgot about it.

Fast forward to 2017/2018 when I watched the movie again and I loved it sm but I didn't look it up any further bc I was stupid.

Then a few months later I was at my local library searching the science fiction section for something to read. And what do I see there? The mf ian4 book. I immediately remembered the movie and thought "well if I liked the movie I will love the book." I was right bc my 12 year old self was so happy with it. That book was my escape from all of the other bullshit that was happening in my life. My childhood best friend had just moved away to Germany and my friend group fell apart, leaving me lonelier than ever. Adding to that, my parents never took me seriously so I couldn't talk to them about any of that.

After reading ian4 in less than a week I borrowed po6 and fell in love with the series even more. The books made me feel special. And they made me feel like I'm not alone. Like there are people in the world just waiting to meet me and be my friends. I always felt like an outsider at my school and this series made it feel like a blessing rather than a curse. Marina and Six meeting up felt like a sign that someone is eventually going to save me from everything like Six "saved" Marina.

When I went back to the library to borrow ro9 I found out that it wasn't translated to my language. That made me a little sad but I knew I would find a way to read it. I didn't really know about pirating back then so when I found pirating sites it was like I was discovering a whole new part of the Internet. I would've ordered the books online but most of the time they're sent from the USA and the shipping is wayyyyyy too expensive. My english wasn't the best back then but I was fluent enough to read the books.

I remember thinking we would meet all of the Garde while reading ro9. I was so excited for Five bc that was my favourite number at the time. So ofc I was a little disappointed when I finished the book and Five was nowhere to be found. But that's what made him even better for me.

It felt like he was left out of everything interesting and he was missing out on bonding with the rest of the Garde. Then I looked him up and got Eight's death spoiled. I didn't really know how to feel about that so I just went to read the next book to finally meet Five.

Tfo5 made me hate Sam bc his pov is so annoying. He always has something to say even if it was uncalled for. He was so rude to Five for no reason (just like everyone else). Five is so awkward in this book and that made me fall in love with him. I love awkward characters bc they remind me of me. Five stood out to me even more than anyone else tho. It is so obvious that the authors wanted us to hate Five but he was so relatable to me that I couldn't hate him. I sometimes feel like we're the same person. I felt awful when Eight died obviously but I felt even worse for Five. He was manipulated and he was brainwashed. It wasn't his fault. He never wanted anyone to get hurt he literally wanted to protect them. But in the end it seems like anything he does just hurts others more.

I don't really have anything interesting to say about the other books. I hated how everyone treated Five with 0 sympathy. He deserved better. It was kinda obvious in Fugitive Six that it was him working with Einar. I was glad to see him actually having friends and hanging out with people the way he was supposed to with the Garde.

It's sad that he always knew he wouldn't get along with the Garde. It must've been horrible to see his worst fear coming to life. I just wanted to hug him and tell him everything is gonna be okay :((

I don't know what to say about rtz. The authors didn't even bother to write about the Garde getting a new scar after his death. Nor did they give us any hints that he might be alive. It's like they just wanted to get rid of him so they don't have to write about him anymore.

I think I read the novellas after the main series. I read Five's Legacy first (obviously). It just made me love him even more. He's literally perfect in every way. I just wish he was a little more appreciated in the series.

#this is more about five tbh but whatever #sad stuff #rant #FIVE DESERVED BETTER #i was bored so i wrote this #lorien legacies #i didn't read this after writing it so there might be mistakes #im sorry about that

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hopefulobjectmiracle · 2 years

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The wilds and NHIE for the show asks

the wilds:

favorite male character:

i thought it was gonna be seth, but then they pulled /that/ twist on us...so i'm going to say kirin bc he really grew on me after that storyline. i'm excited to see him interact with my girls in s3!!

favorite female character:

fatin!! she started off fairly unlikable in the first couple eps, but she completely won me over in her episode and just got better and better throughout season 2. i love how she went from not wanting to be friends w/ any of the girls to becoming the de facto mom friend of the gang <3

also honorable mentions to dot and rachel!! i think rachel is the show’s most compelling character and dot is just a gem (as well as the only sane member of the group).

least favorite character:

i would say seth, but he’s not actually a bad character...he’s just a horrible person who unfortunately has an extremely well-written and acted story. i guess my least favorite is scotty? by default because he was probably the only one of the boys that never really won me over.

also i’m sorry even though she was so much better in s2 i still don’t love leah please don’t kill me

prettiest character:

fatin or shelby - they're both drop dead gorgeous!! oh, and marcus is pretty sexy too 😌

funniest character:

what if i unironically said gretchen hehe...she’s just so insane that it’s enjoyable and her antics made me laugh more than anyone else in s2. the scene where henry sings to her lives in my mind rent free at this point.

favorite season:

i liked s2 more than most people did but s1 still owns my heart bc of all the focus on the girls and all of the development that they got, both separately and with each other.

favorite episode:

1x05 (fatin’s episode). this ep had so much going for it - aside from giving us fatin’s backstory, we also got so many great moments with the girls at the pond, as well as the scene in which they save rachel from the mud.

favorite romantic ship:

i’m not super invested in any of the romantic ships on the show, but i do enjoy shoni and i hope they get back together soon :)

favorite family ship:

i’m going to cheat and say that i love the found family of the unsinkable eight seven 🥰 those girls have my heart!!

favorite friend ship:

dot x fatin!! shoutout to @randomcanbian for reminding me how much i enjoy them together :))

worst ship:

i’ve seen seth x josh and i think that is absolutely horrible 🥴

never have i ever:

favorite male character:

ben gross, asshole know-it-all my beloved <3

favorite female character:

devi vishwakumar, my flawed messy grieving queen!! she might even be a top 5 character of all time - i just love her so much.

least favorite character:

trent or eleanor. they both have their moments but overall trent annoys me and none of eleanor’s storylines interest me at all.

prettiest character:

i think fabiola is seriously underrated in terms of how gorgeous she is. her season 2 looks in particular were 10/10!!

funniest character:

there are a lot of contenders for this one, but i have to give it to rebecca hall-yoshida. her brutally calling out paxton is hilarious and is everything to me.

favorite season:

i really enjoyed both seasons, but there’s something special about s1. what’s funny about my favorite s2 eps is that they all have a s1-like quality to them, whether they’re about the same set of characters or deal with similar subjects. there are a lot of great things about s2, but overall i think s1 was better written and had a tighter narrative, as well as more likable characters.

favorite episode:

weirdly enough, it is also 1x05 for this show 😂 fabiola’s storyline is great and the ben and devi scenes are easily the highest quality interactions between them in the whole show.

favorite romantic ship:

is this even a question? ofc it’s ben x devi!! their arc (especially in s1) hit all the right notes of what i want to see in the show, from their chemistry to their banter to their slowly developing friendship to the epic finale kiss. their s2 arc was also fascinating and i’m really excited to see what comes next for them.

favorite family ship:

by far devi & nalini. such an incredible and complex mother-daughter duo with such great development. i also think they're pretty great comedy-wise.

favorite friend ship:

despite not being a huge fan of eleanor, i do like the chaotic energy of eleanor, fabiola, and devi’s trio (especially in eps like 2x02 where they’re scheming).

also, shoutout to ben and devi’s friendship!! even when they’re not dating, their dynamic is still so strong and so enjoyable.

worst ship:

hmmmm....this isn’t the worst ship objectively (that would probably be something like ben and shira) but the ship i personally dislike most is devi and paxton. seeing them together just makes me so uncomfortable bc of maitreyi and darren’s age difference and i don’t particularly like their storyline either. here’s to a breakup in season 3!!

send me a show in my ask box!!

#thank you anon :)#the wilds #never have i ever #anti daxton #evelyn answers stuff

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selfcarecap · 1 year

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would like to know more about your opinions about punk 57 :))

Hii Yesss, okay so I’m just gonna say eeeverything (but warning it’s not positive lmao) it’ll probably be a lot so I’ll put a readmore lol (also spoilers)

Okay idk where to start. So this is obviously fully my own fault but I misread the blurb (several times💀) and thought this was a wlw story and was a tiny bit disappointed when I realised it wasn’t lol but at the same time I was still really excited to read it bc I’d only heard good things and either way I thought the pen pal thing was super interesting and could be cute

Right from the start I didn’t like Misha like aren’t the male MCs supposed to be likeable and loveable in a romance book? Lmao. I guess he wasn’t bad but even before the thing with his sister happened I didn’t like him.

Then we met Ryen and I didn’t like her either. I mean most people wouldn’t like her at the beginning obviously but she’d been so horrible that by the time we found out why she’s the way she is, I didn’t care anymore 😭 also I think 18 is old enough to know better and not act like that.

Omg and generally age wise? There’s no reason for these people to be 18 and in high school. It’s like Euphoria in that way lmao. They should have been in college. I didn’t know whether to expect YA or New Adult and I still don’t know what it was because it’s clearly not YA because of all the sex but then why are they in high school? I didn’t really enjoy the smut bc it was weird knowing they’re barely legal. I’m not much older than them or anything but most people I knew when I was 18 (and actually it hasn’t changed much in the two years) were not having that type of sex lol (sure some people do and good for them lol but just make them older lol. This is a book adults are supposed to read so?). It was so so cringe to me when they were having sex on the library floor and in the car with their whole class right next to them omg.

And also about the sex, so I genuinely don’t mind the word slut during sex lol BUT NOT WHEN IT COMES OUT OF NOWHERE? If you haven’t talked about what you like during sex yet and the guy suddenly calls you a slut? 🚩🚩🚩 I mean Misha was generally a red flag tho, he was so aggressive and weird and I get he was heartbroken because of his sister but I just didn’t get him. and he was suddenly a criminal as well like idk he was such a ‘bad boy’ but like for no reason and he wasn’t even cool. He was just an annoying man (boy) who was very unlikeable and I didn’t see any character development? And yeah just very mean and aggressive towards Ryen. They definitely had sexual tension (although it kind of came out of nowhere too) but I never got why she would like him, especially before she knew who he really was. I get their history but I still didn’t believe that they actually liked each other romantically.

And for Ryen idk😭 I usually support women’s rights AND wrongs and sometimes I love a messy female protagonist but I just couldn’t like her, she was just a bully and so was Misha. And yeah she kiinda redeemed herself at the end but yeah by that point I just didn’t care. Also why did she have to be pregnant in the epilogue? It’s so random when authors put that in an epilogue it literally ruined the story even more lol. And like I said I would not believe that they’re still together after 5 years because they didn’t seem to actually like each other. I’d believe that they liked each other while they were still writing letters but irl I didn’t see a connection except a sexual one, especially because Ryen didn’t even know who he was for ages.

And just generally they were extremely immature all the time. And yeah they’re 18 but then it’s weird to see them fucking the whole time when they’re acting like (violent lwhejs) 14 year olds.

Okay now an important point. I would feel very differently about this if it was like a dark romance or not even romance at all lol. But as far as I can tell it’s apparently a romance book. But it just isn’t lol. There were hardly any romantic moments in it. It was a badly written dark high school erotica at best and if it was marketed as that genre, I still wouldn’t have liked it a lot but I would be a lot less disappointed lol and yeah I think selling it as a romance book is just not appropriate and telling anyone that that’s a healthy romantic relationship is just not right lol. (I mean I guess in the book it was never claimed that it’s a healthy relationship lol like of course the characters are toxic but they never stopped being toxic? Like there was a bit of character development in Ryen but Misha was nothing but an asshole to her and everyone else (except that guy Manny? I think that was his name lol. Only character I liked😭😭)

Omg also I just remembered the amount of times Ryen was in Misha’s lap and they were lowkey making out in the lunch hall😭😭😭 why would an adult write that lol. Also literally every single scene in the school was so so unrealistic and cringe lol. And if people really act that way in school, why has no adult done anything about it??? Lmao

It also definitely did not pass the bechdel test loool. I understand women can be mean and I’m not saying Ryen should be friends with Layla or whatever her name was but I would have loved to see at least one nice woman or healthy female friendship. Or reconnecting with her sister. I know there was one sentence about how her sister doesn’t hate her anymore or something but come on 😭 give us something 😭. I’m concerned for Ryen because Misha’s not good for her and she doesn’t even have a female friend to be honest with her about it. Yeah there was Delilah but that’s not what I mean obviously. With the whole fitting in theme etc I think it would have been so important for us to see Ryen connect with another woman or at least not be a pick me (she wasn’t a pick me generally I guess but in that regard she was). (Female) friendships can be even more important than a “romantic” relationship so just because she has her toxic unlikeable misogynistic bully boyfriend she inexplicably likes now, doesn’t mean she’s gonna be happy forever.

I really wanted to like this book and I’m genuinely happy for the people who do but I just can’t see the appeal shsksj

BUT at the same time I did read all of it (although I was tempted to dnf at many points😭) within two days which is fast for me so it couldn’t have been all bad lol.

What do you think? 👀 lmk!! (Whether you agree or disagree with me lol I’d just love to hear what other people think!!!! <3)

#anon #punk 57 #this is obviously mostly subjective but yeah idk

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obviousunbelievers · 2 years

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yesterday i found out that the guy i’ve had a crush on has had a girlfriend for a couple of months lol and i can’t help but to think that he was talking to her while we were also talking. and i know we weren’t going anywhere but i literally told him how i felt and i just hate that he couldn’t tell me that he wasn’t interested. instead he just ignored it and a week later randomly texted me and still didn’t bother to address it. i really really really hate that his excuse was that the age gap is too big (which is completely understandable and i honestly do appreciate that he thought about it) but he is the one who is acting immature in the way that he can’t communicate what he feels. like he didn’t even tell me about the age gap, he told my friend lol and my stupid fucking brain makes me believe that it was never the age gap, that it’s the fact that i am ugly as shit and that’s why he didn’t like me. part of me wants to believe that he isn’t that shallow but idk. in fact, i know he isn’t shallow but it’s my insecurity taking over making me believe that it’s because i’m ugly. but i really don’t feel that sad about it, like i’ve had similar things happen before and i’ll never forget that feeling like that horrible feeling in your stomach and your heart literally just aching but i didn’t feel that way at all. i mean yeah i was shocked but i think part of me always knew that there was someone else so i guess i was kinda mentally prepared for that. i don’t think he’ll reach out to me ever again but part of me is sad that we’ll never be actual friends because i genuinely liked him and thought he was pretty cool but i think the fact that i confessed my feelings and he didn’t say or do anything about it will make it weird. idk I’m kind of ready to just move on from that but his behavior yesterday really proved that he kind of is the problem. like you can tell he feels bad like he’s almost ashamed and embarrassed (?) about what he did. maybe that’s a reach but idk that’s what it looked and felt like, he literally tried to avoid me and wouldn’t make eye contact. when before if we’d walk towards each other he’d stare at me until we were close enough to say hi but now he just completely avoiding that lol and that does make me a little sad but whatever. i just shed a few tears and part of it is because i’m sad that my insecurity is so low that i always assume that people don’t like me because i’m ugly and the other part is because i am a little sad about the situation and i think that’s okay. but i really don’t wanna dwell over this shit for so long like i don’t wanna obsess over it so i’m gonna allow myself to be sad for the weekend then i really can’t drag it on because there’s really nothing to be sad about. like i knew it wasn’t going anywhere and that was obvious the last time we talked.

bro i just realized we haven’t actually talked since january LOL? i swear i thought it was feb/march. maybe that’s why i am not completely hurt or sad as i normally would be because so much fucking time has passed by. i don’t think i’m actually sad about it but i can’t stop thinking about it. like i just wanna know more. apparently they’ve been together for a couple of months so yeah idk. maybe it’s best i just try to forget about the whole thing like nothing ever happened. i think it’s gonna be hard because i associate so many things w him just bc we had quite a few things in common so it’s gonna be hard to not think about him but i really have to do this for me.

i’m literally so dumb, like after like four / five months did i really think he was gonna talk to me lmfaooo omg actually so dumb i truly never realized how long it’s been

adding to the second part idk why i wanna know all the details cause that’ll just make me feel like absolute shit, i’m so annoying

#i’ll be adding to this later

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toiivoton · 2 years

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I grow up locked in a room most of time w my sister, she was and has been the person i have interacted the most my entire life, my life was that room and her so she was my entire world. my mom never acknowledged my existence unless it was to casually insult me or scream to me to insane levels when she was high (she did talked w my sister for some reason) and my father who only visited me to torment me and hit me, i would literally run trying to escape for then be catched and hit again n again and my mother would watch and laugh

My mother loved making jokes abt it and my sis get mad when i didnt stand up for myself against him, but i was so small and my dad was so big i dont know how i could have i just felt so humiliated and pathetic and weak, just a total worthless failure, i think when i see violent parents in movies or media they tend to be violent against all the family but i was the only one he ever hit, i feel there was something specific with me that it was so defectuous i made everyone upset and angry and sad, i wish i had never be born so everyone would have been happier people

At some point my sis went to live to panama w our grandman and i was put back in the same room with now no human interaction since my sis was gone this time, this made me miss her n feel she was my one and only savior back then.

until today im not sure for how long was i in that room bc there wasnt sun light it was so horrible i lost sense of time it could have been a week or 6 months i have no idea. I developed insomnia and also forgot how my voice sounded like and missed the sensation you get on your throat when you make a sound, so i would talk to myself at times, otherwise i felt i would end up forgetting how to talk. i had a tv and 3 cds and i cant stop thinking about them bc im so grateful for it, i could watch them on replay forever and have something to do and have company. i feel after this any possibility of social skills were now completely taken from me or thats what i love believeing bc i love blaming on

everything for my defects

Later when i was 11 my sis came back n started getting bad and really sad but it got so bad she started threatening about killing herself. If i didnt do everything she wanted I once tried writting how i was feeling and that i was feeling bad n she found my post hand she was so digusted, she told me no one does that and that it was cringe n that i should delete it, my best friend also got annoyed at me later for being scared all the time and writting so much nonsense, i have had so little amount of friends on my life and almost if not all have leave me for this.

if i looked sad she would get mad if i didnt do everthing she say it will be so bad much worse for me, shed got so upset and would later have freak outs and talk about killing herself

if i dont do what she says she will kill herself and it will be my fault, i had to clean everything for her do all her cleaning part, wash her clothes cook n bring her food, give her all my belongings agree to everything she says, later on life when i started working i must give her all my payments, when she screams or freaks out at me and by no means im allowed to say anything back if i do it will be the end it will be much worse.. on school i cried literally everyday in front of everyone bc i just wanted to die and i didnt wanted to go back home but at the same time i was losing it bc if i wasnt there w her she would kill herself and it woul be my fault, but then bc of crying sm and being so weird i got always got bullied on school

It was like this for the next 4 years then it became less horrible and now isnt so bad shes better and im glad now but i cant help but wonder if its also bc became better at not replying back and behaving, still she’s genuinely so good to me and we can laugh togheter but im so terrified of her

But i i dont know how to be away if i say i want to live alone she will be so sad and ill be questioned, and even so im so psychically n mentally ill. I often go blind, i was in bed sick for 2 years and my medication is already so expensive, i dont feel i can live by myself i dont know how to live without her im an absolutely lost cause a

nd i feel its too late for me and i cant be fixed n i feel even if everything would be promised to me to be better n never hurt again im not sure if i want to even continue bc i no longer have energy left i just want to die

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moemoemammon · 3 years

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(Two things, 1. This is my first time requesting so I'm sorry if this is not the thing to do it, and 2. Sorry if somethings is misspelled or grammatically incorrect, eng is not my first language:p)

May I request some of the bros, specially Mammon, Luci and Satan, with a MC who's similar to Lucifer in some aspects (like, some of their manners are the same as his and sometimes they're little bit too strict) and after a while they discover that its bc MC is also an older sibling. And (only if you want) meeting their younger sibling, please 🙏

Btw love your works ♡♡♡

Lucifer Number 2~

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

It doesn't occur to Lucifer how similar the two of you are, but the first thing he realizes is how pleasant conversations with you can be. You both share common interests, your tastes suit his own, and you seem to be the only competent person in this house.

You're the responsible type, and he likes it. He'll sometimes find you scolding his brothers for their behavior too, and as amusing of a sight as that may be, he doesn't want you to be burdened with their idiocy.

AND you're the eldest sibling in your household? Cheers to that. You too know the weight of being the responsible oldest, and the role one must take to ensure their siblings grow up well. You too know that you'd rather your siblings have things easier than you did.

But there's one thing he finds annoying... You can NEVER speak your feelings, and act as if it’d kill you to do so. He can respect secrecy when it's appropriate, but Lucifer would like to know what's on your mind. Not only that, but you can be HORRIBLY headstrong. There's nothing that can stray you away from what you've already decided.

"MC, I request that you take a few days off from school to do as you please. I've already spoken with Diavolo and your professors, and you've been given an excuse. I know you'll study anyway, so I've dropped off your assignments in your room. But... you should rest. It isn't good for you to be pushing yourself so hard. Hm? You're calling me a hypocrite?"

Mammon

As if one Lucifer wasn't enough. Now there's TWO of em?! Why's his luck gotta be so lousy!

Definitely the first to realize how much like Lucifer you are, and was SHOOK. Seriously, what gives?! What horrors exist in the human world that could've made you like THAT..?

Ever since you showed up, it's been impossible to get away with anything! He can't sneak out of the house because you're always there somehow, you tattle on him when you catch him leaving anyone's room, and you won't even let him copy your homework! What gives?!

Avoids you like the plague. You're no fun! There's only rare moments when you're kinda okay, and he likes those the best. The times when you're kinda sensitive and you'll drop the high and mighty act. But then you're back to being a pest!

"For the billionth time, I ain't got time to study! There's money to be made, and a guy like me ain't gonna waste a second lookin' at a dumb book when I could be- H-Huh?! You're gonna call Lucifer?! N-now, there's no need to be so hasty, right? Oi!! I'm sorry, damn it-!"

Levi

What's the deal with Lucifer number two? As comedic of a trope as that may be, Levi doesn't really care for having two nagging types in the house. Especially a human...

When you're in his room, all you do is nitpick about how he should tidy up and open a window! Don't you know that an otaku's room is his pride and joy?! It's a sacred space not to be trampled on by the opinions of a normie!!!

But still... he has to admit that even if you don't get all the stuff he's talking about, you at least try to understand it. And there are even some of his interests that you're genuinely invested in!

You might be a pain in the neck and harass him about annoying things, but he guesses he can deal with it if you'll actually sit through a TSL marathon with him...

"I-I'll lend you this manga, so make sure you read it! And when you're finished with that, I'll lend you the spin-off series by the author's brother! I know you'll like it, since you're interested in gritty stuff. Oh, and- Huh? My laundry? Y-yeah.... I'll do that.."

Satan

You are... surprisingly good company. Satan enjoys talking to you over afternoon tea, and the two of you share stories between one another.

But still, he can't shake the feeling that there's something... unpleasantly familiar about your personality. It isn't until you say something that sounds suspiciously similar to what Lucifer would say that he realizes who you remind him of. And oh, he hates it.

Tries playing pranks on you, but somehow they never go to plan. How that is is beyond him, but you never fall for anything! No matter how sweet his smile, you're always rightfully suspicious. You're annoyingly meticulous about checking your surroundings, and you're so aware of yourself that it's troublesome! Be more gullible!!

The king of petty has decided that its now his life goal to make you fall for at least one of his pranks. He doesn't care how elaborate he has to make it, or how unrewarding the payoff may be. He'll make you pay for seeing his brother in two places at once.

"MC, would you like to join me this afternoon for a book reading? Though, I'd love it if you could read this book in particular. I think you'll find it very-.... Hm? 'Isn't this the cursed book that makes you grow hair all over your body', you ask? Ahaha.... tch."

Asmo

Come now, there can't be TWO killjoys in the house! That's way too depressing!! It was funny at first to see that there's someone who can match the scary Lucifer's energy, but now it's becoming a nuisance!

You won't even go to the countless parties he's invited you to! Hell, you barely even give yourself room to mess around a little? Isn't it boring being so tightly wound? You're in luck, because the adorable Asmo-chan knows the PERFECT way to let loose~

You'll RARELY let him close to you, and that's usually when you're tired of him harassing you. Then he gets the honor of playing with your hair while you've got no energy to fight back! He'll style it wonderfully for you!

Also nags you to take better care of yourself. You're not a demon, so you have to care for your health! These late night study sessions are giving you bags under your eyes! And stop taking on so many extracurricular activities!

"Geez, MC! I didn't think you'd die from overworking, but that's the path you're headed on! You really are like Lucifer, you know? That being said, I'll do my best to make sure you relax! Shall we begin~?"

Beel

Beel may not be too bothered by Lucifer's strictness, but that doesn't mean he's immune to it. To think that even a human can be like that...

It's nice to see that you can take care of yourself, but aren't you working too hard? Your grades are good and you've got many interesting talents, but you also have to properly rest.

Has started bringing you snacks on the regular. And don't even think about skipping meals, because he won't allow it. He'll literally pick you up and bring you to the table if he has to. And if you're staying up late to study? He'll carry you to bed. Don't try to protest.

Beel is your babysitter now and there's nothing you can do about it. It's good to be responsible, but don't think about trying to take care of everyone else if you can't care for yourself. Now eat these twelve meat buns he bought for you.

"MC, let's eat lunch together. I know you were going to skip because I heard you talking to Solomon earlier, and I won't let you. Ah, don't worry about not having money, because I've already bought you some lunch. Let's eat in the courtyard."

Belphie

NO.... IT CAN'T BE... THIS HAS TO BE A NIGHTMARE....HE WANTS TO WAKE UP....

You're such a drag. You harass him to attend student council meetings, but him about his studies, and won't let him avoid a single obligation he has. What are you, his mother?

Has 100% joined forces with Satan to try to make you fall for many, many unsuccessful pranks. Are you curse proof or something? When he tried a '10 hour bed-head' spell on you, it just rebounded right to him! Then he found out that you'd borrowed a spell repelling amulet from Solomon and realized just how prepared you are...

When you aren't bothering his entire soul by trying to make him do things, you're actually nice to talk to. You're knowledgeable, you pay attention to the people around you, and you can always read a room. He likes to ask you for advice sometimes.

"Aren't you tired of being like that all the time? So... attentive, I mean. You should just take a nap some time. Or better yet, take the week off. Maybe I'll teach you how to properly relax? Then you might finally be able to take that stick out of your- ow... What're you hitting me for?"

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jingyismom · 3 years

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Currently losing my mind over an AU so pls join me:

Rocky Horror shadowcast modern AU Explicit, wangxian, modern au, rocky horror rom com, no warnings

Is this a thing already? Probably!! But my brain is going brrrrr so hear me out

Lan Wangji gets pressed/dared to fill a last-minute cast vacancy for Nie Huaisang by both their older brothers.

He's a little miffed by how sure Nie Huaisang seems that he wouldn't do it, and it only makes him determined to prove him wrong. He's not that uptight. And when Lan Xichen played Brad last year, it didn't look that horrible—he can manage if his brother can.

Is he apprehensive? Yes. Is he scared of being publicly flirted with by that upsettingly hot guy who plays Dr. Frank-N-Furter every year? Double yes.

But Lan Xichen seems to really want him to do it for some reason, and Nie Huaisang is so sure he won't, even though he's desperate for help.

So Lan Wangji surprises them all and says yes.

The only thing is, when he shows up to the first rehearsal, Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli tell him they're playing Brad and Janet, and ask what part he's doing. He's a little annoyed that his time has been wasted, and starts to tell them he's actually just leaving, when Nie Huaisang breezes past.

"Lan Wangji is playing Rocky," he says, and keeps going.

"Oh!" Jiang Yanli says. "Wow, cool!"

Lan Wangji does not agree.

His first impulse is to refuse. That is not what he signed up for. But Nie Huaisang turns and gives him a Look, and he realizes he's been played.

And he absolutely will not back down.

More people begin to arrive (Wen Qing and MianMian can be Magenta and Columbia bc I love a Gang's All Here approach) and it starts to sink in that he's going to have to stand almost naked in front of crowds and be pawed by the, again, truly upsettingly hot Wei Wuxian whom he has never actually met. He starts to feel like he may have to be the one to back down after all. He gets a little maudlin, realizing he really *is* that uptight.

But then someone new walks in: tight black jeans riddled with holes and safety pins, baggy faded band tee, silver piercings, an undercut, and the sunniest apologetic smile Lan Wangji has ever seen.

"Sorry sorry, had to drop Jiang Cheng off at practice" he says, and drops his bag.

Lan Wangji knows he's staring. What he doesn't understand is how nobody else is staring. This is the most beautiful human being he's ever seen.

He goes through the rehearsal, which is short and only the first part of the show so he's just sitting, watching, rapt, and doesn't realize until he's left that he never actually said he isn't coming back.

Which means now he has to.

Nobody really speaks to him, that first day. He gets the impression nobody knows why he's there, which, well. He shares the sentiment.

He spends the next day distracted and nervous until it's time for rehearsal again, than, when the time comes, sits in his same chair in the auditorium again, waiting to be ignored. But when Nie Huaisang enters through the side door with a hulking, mustachioed Nie cousin, he takes one look at Lan Wangji, widens his eyes, and turns on his heel to shove the cousin back out the way they came.

He returns moments later, alone, and claps his hands.

He starts the rehearsal more formally this time, with introductions, including Lan Wangji. At that point, Lan Wangji realizes two things:

1. Nie Huaisang had really not expected him to come back, and had found a replacement. Lan Wangji does not often feel stupid, but this is definitely one of those times. He's trapped himself; there's nobody else to blame for the mortification sure to follow.

2. The beautiful boy from yesterday is actually Wei Wuxian, and will indeed once again be playing Dr. Frank-N-Furter.

He does not know how to process that information. He doesn't remember enough of the show to feel anything but Fear.

When it comes time for him to go on stage and learn the blocking for his first scene, it is of course with Wei Wuxian.

They talk him through what he's supposed to do, how it matches up with the movie and how it doesn't. He's sweating, waiting for it to get Worse. Waiting for this stranger to start...pawing at him. And other things. He's never been treated that way before. By anyone, let alone a stranger, let alone...someone like this. He's rarely ever been this nervous in his life.

But Wei Wuxian doesn't do anything of the sort. Instead he waves him off to the side, scratching the back of his head.

"Ah, so, you know. I know they dragged you into this," he says. "So I just wanted to check in? I don't want to like, come at you full force," he laughs. "We can work around your comfort level."

Lan Wangji stares at him for a moment too long, and his smile falls.

"Just, uh...let me know what you're okay with? I guess."

It isn't until he starts to walk away that Lan Wangji finds his voice.

"Thank you," he says.

Wei Wuxian stops. Turns to listen.

"For...understanding."

Another smile, and a nod.

Somehow, they get through it without ever touching at all. Lan Wangji isn't sure how they'll sell it, but nobody seems worried. He's relieved. So very relieved. At first.

But as things go on, and he watches the way Wei Wuxian is, the way he talks, his sharp wit, his unfailing kindness...he starts to notice that bearing Wei Wuxian's flirting without the touch he so easily bestows on everyone else, is actually...horrible.

He knows he asked for this, in a way. But over the course of rehearsals he begins to regret it, at least in part. He still doesn't think he could bear what he saw take place on stage last year. But he starts to feel...hungry. Starved, for just one small physical token of his affection.

Because it seems...it does seem, as if Wei Wuxian likes him. In the way he seems to like most everybody, at least. He jokes with him, and laughs at the things he says, and calls him funny. But true to his word, he never once touches him.

The first dress rehearsal changes things.

He knew his own outfit wouldn't be the hard part, after years of competitive swimming—

(He does not see Wei Wuxian's jaw drop when he comes out wearing the gold speedo. He does not see him turn to Nie Huaisang and say, "You're a monster."

"I'm a genius," Nie Huaisang says back.)

—but he's forgotten, in getting to know Wei Wuxian, just what he looks like on stage. When he sees him make that first entrance in full costume, at full steam, he has to excuse himself out the side door and take a lot of very deep breaths.

It's not about...the makeup. Or the—corset. Fishnets. Heels. Though those things are undeniably making him feel...certain things. As is all the skin suddenly on display.

It's more about the look in his eyes and the way he moves his body. His mind-boggling confidence. It's about the way he looks at him now, under the spotlights. As if he's going to eat him whole and make him enjoy it.

The way he looks at him, and it feels more intimate than a touch, though he still hasn't yet touched him, not even a little bit.

It all makes Lan Wangji desperately, desperately want him to.

The energy of the first performance gets to him. There is a moment wherein he truly thinks Wei Wuxian will run his hand up his chest for real, and he leans forward, heart tripping.

But he doesn't.

And Wei Wuxian sells it. He sells the whole thing, and it doesn't come off even a little bit

weird that there's at least a hand's width of distance between them at all times.

Lan Wangji pushes down the part of himself that wishes it did look weird, or bad, and they'd have to just. Do it all for real. Because he knows, really, that he couldn't handle that. He doesn't know what that would do to him, and the idea makes him uncomfortable. Scared again, as he hasn't been since Wei Wuxian took him aside and listened to him that first day.

Lan Xichen brings him to that first performance with boba for the whole cast, and drives him home after. Lan Wangji can tell from his particular brand of silence in the car that they're about to have a Talk.

"You were very good," Lan Xichen starts.

Lan Wangji knows that isn't true. He was wooden, and awkward. But then, as Nie Huaisang keeps telling him, that's why he's so perfect for the part.

"You all seemed like you were having fun."

And that part is, shockingly, somewhat true. It's unexpectedly freeing to be so silly. To be surrounded by such unselfconscious people. He is not sure it will rub off on him, but he hopes it does. A little bit, at least.

"Like maybe you're making some new friends."

"Mn," Lan Wangji allows. They are good people. Kind, and open-hearted. He especially likes Jiang Yanli.

"Wei Wuxian is very friendly, in particular," Lan Xichen goes on. "And smart. He's some sort of engineer, isn't he?"

"Biomechanical," Lan Wangji supplies. They've all talked plenty about their grad programs.

"Yes, I remember now," says Lan Xichen. "Very smart. And respectful! He knew A-Jue and I were dating last year and didn't want to overstep. We didn't mind, though, of course, and..."

Lan Wangji stops listening at the reminder that his brother played Brad. He runs through the show in his mind, remembering all the ways he watched his brother interact with the mysterious and stunning Frank-N-Furter. Who is Wei Wuxian. Who has never touched Lan Wangji. And who has touched his brother. A lot.

Suddenly he is a unique mix of jealous and ill.

"Wangji?"

He clenches his teeth.

"Are you alright?"

He doesn't like to lie to his brother. He's very bad at it. He says nothing. His brother's voice goes soft.

"You looked as if you enjoy working with him."

Lan Wangji looks out the window, into the night.

"Mn."

Lan Xichen sighs. The rest of the drive passes in silence.

(Lan Wangji has not heard the way the rest of the cast teases Wei Wuxian for being so obviously smitten with him. He has not caught the meaning of Jiang Yanli's gentle pushes. He did not see Jiang Cheng craning his head in to look during one rehearsal, or hear him say, "Oh so that's why you're always on time this year." He did not see Wei Wuxian's triple take the first time Nie Huaisang did the quick Rose Tint My World makeup on Lan Wangji's face, or the way he ran into an actual wall the first time he saw Lan Wangji in his own fishnets and heels.)

Then, one fateful night, one of the stagehands calls out sick, and there is nobody to help Lan Wangji with the finale quick change. And, well, Wei Wuxian is already dressed.

As Nie Huaisang hurriedly paints on Lan Wangji's look, it's Wei Wuxian who kneels at his feet.

"Um," he says, uncertainty foreign on this iteration of his face. "Is it—okay? If I..."

"En," says Lan Wangji, holding his mouth still and open for lipstick application.

Wei Wuxian clears his throat, and gathers up one of Lan Wangji's stockings. He guides it on, up Lan Wangji's calf, and up his thigh. Lan Wangji stares hard at the opposite wall, trying to ignore the subtle touch and the way it's reverberating through his entire body, new and devastating.

There is a tug at his hip, and a click as Wei Wuxian fastens the slings.

He realizes he is not breathing.

He's supposed to be lacing up his own corset, but he can't make his hands move from where they're clutching the table he's leaned against.

Wei Wuxian's fingers brush high on the back of his thigh as he finishes fastening the first side. Then he starts on the second.

Nie Huaisang finishes his job and makes a disgusted noise, then flees.

Startled into action, Lan Wangji fumbles for the ties at his front as Wei Wuxian rolls the second stocking up past his knee.

He forces himself to breathe, but it's not helping.

Especially not when Wei Wuxian stands and pulls the laces himself, close enough for Lan Wangji to feel the heat of his breath, to see individual flakes of glitter on his eyes and mouth.

He still can't move his hands.

But Wei Wuxian finishes the job with brutal efficiency that forces him to gather his feather boa in his hands and clutch it in front of him, willing himself to calm down.

"There," says Wei Wuxian with a grin that pierces him through like an arrow.

He reaches out as if to touch Lan Wangji's arm but falters and gives a playful tug to his laces instead, before turning to go back out on stage.

Lan Wangji has to follow. He has to go back out there. But his mouth is dry, and his legs feel unsteady.

A light touch at his elbow startles him. Jiang Yanli is there in her own matching outfit, a small smile on her painted face.

"Come on," she says. "The show won't wait."

The last night of the show is at midnight on Halloween, which is of course also Wei Wuxian's birthday. The entire cast is invited to the big birthday Halloween party he throws before the show with his siblings every year.

Lan Wangji doesn't want to go. He isn't very good at parties.

But Wei Wuxian asks him personally if he'll be there, as if it will matter. As if seeing his face among the sea of Wei Wuxian's friends will make him happy.

So of course he must go. And he must find a gift.

He borrows a costume from his brother, and makes his way over to the house, praying he's not too early or too late. But the party is in full swing, and Jiang Yanli welcomes him in warmly. She offers to put his gift somewhere safe and he hesitates, but agrees. He wants to see Wei Wuxian's face when he opens it, but, well...he also doesn't want to have to stand there while he does it. He might die.

She and Jin Zixuan look great in their Brad and Janet costumes with their fishnets on the bottom half. Most of the cast wear their show costumes for this, Lan Wangji knows. But there was no way he was coming in only a gold speedo, and the finale outfit...well. He was ambivalent about it until the night Wei Wuxian helped him dress. Now he doesn't want to wear it in public more than necessary. His feelings about it have grown...complex. In a way he has to work very hard not to think about late at night, when he's alone in his bed.

He'd rather not have to think about it at this party, either.

"Nice costume," Wen Qing tells him as she saunters past.

She's dressed in an elaborate Xena cosplay. Lan Wangji can't tell if she means the compliment or not, but in his experience she’s never been one for cruelty. He nods at her as he goes deeper into the house.

His plan is to say hello to Wei Wuxian as quickly as possible and then find somewhere quiet to wait until the whole cast leaves together. But when he sees Wei Wuxian, he's in the middle of the cleared living room, dancing in a thick crowd.

Lan Wangji watches for a moment, heart heavy.

He's effervescent, out there, surrounded by people. He's at home in places Lan Wangji never wants to go. It is so abundantly clear that Lan Wangji is the opposite of what Wei Wuxian might ever want.

Which is fine, Lan Wangji reminds himself. He likes his life. His music, his studies, his quiet. He's never needed anyone else to make himself feel whole. But he's never wanted anyone like this before, either.

He turns away from the dance floor. There has to be something—an unoccupied bedroom, or a small balcony somewhere. He sets himself to the search.

"Lan Wangji!"

He turns at the sound of his name. Wei Wuxian has spotted him and is pushing his way toward him. He waits, skin buzzing. From the loud beat of the music or from the simple fact of being seen, he doesn't know.

"You came!" Wei Wuxian shouts over the noise, looking genuinely happy.

Lan Wangji nods. "Wei Wuxian," he greets.

Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes. "It's Wei Ying," he says. "Come on."

Lan Wangji hesitates. All his friends call him such. It should not feel like overstepping, not when Wei Wuxian himself insists.

"It's my birthday, you know," Wei Wuxian wheedles.

Lan Wangji nods. "Wei Ying. Your sister has your gift."

Wei Wuxian's mouth drops open. "Oh wow...it...it's not that kind of birthday party, you didn't have to!"

Lan Wangji feels his ears heat, and his eyes fall to Wei Wuxian's chest.

"But thanks," Wei Wuxian goes on. "You're always too nice to me, I might get the wrong idea."

Lan Wangji doesn't have anything to say to that.

"You look amazing by the way," Wei Wuxian adds. "I love The Princess Bride."

"So do I," says Lan Wangji, "but my brother insists it's a Zorro costume."

Wei Wuxian throws his head back and laughs, like it's the funniest thing he's ever heard. It takes effort for Lan Wangji to speak again.

"You look amazing, too," he says, carefully using the same adjective so as not to miss the right tone. "Though I admit I don't know what the costume is."

Wei Wuxian smiles wide, showing his teeth. Which Lan Wangji realizes are pointed.

"Michael, from The Lost Boys."

Lan Wangji looks at him blankly, and his liner-smudged eyes go wide.

"Michael? Lost Boys? Maggots, Michael, you're eating maggots, how do they taste?"

Lan Wangji shrugs, and Wei Wuxian shakes his head, his one long earring catching the light.

"You have to see it. We're watching it, no excuses!"

Lan Wangji tries valiantly not to simply demand when, and hold him to it. He's been desperate for a way to know he'll see him again after tonight, but he knows it would be insane to jump on such an abstract suggestion.

"Alright," he says.

Wei Wuxian smiles again, pointed teeth and all, and Lan Wangji feels weak with it.

But before either of them can say anything else, the song changes, and someone shouts and pulls Wei Wuxian back into the crowd.

He waves as he disappears into the sea of bodies, and Lan Wangji makes himself turn away. He's done what he came for. Now, all he has to do is find somewhere quiet he won't feel terribly awkward.

"Hey. Hey! Lan Wangji!"

For the second time, he turns at the sound of his name. But this time, it's Nie Huaisang who calls him, from the kitchen. Lan Wangji follows the voice to a figure in a yellow jumpsuit and blond wig presiding over a group of most of the cast.

"Well look who it is," says Nie Huaisang.

He holds out his palm. MianMian, dressed of course as Gabrielle, slaps what looks like money into it.

"Cool Zorro costume," she says.

"Thank you," Lan Wangji murmurs.

"It's Princess Bride," says Jin Zixuan as he passes by with a bucket of ice.

MianMian sticks her tongue out at him.

"Why argue when it looks like that on him?" Nie Huaisang says. "Ridiculous that those pants should seem more revealing than a fucking speedo. I hate you sometimes, you know."

"Mn," says Lan Wangji.

Everyone laughs. He feels a tug at the corner of his mouth.

"Here." Nie Huaisang offers him a cup.

"I don't drink."

Nie Huaisang rolls his eyes. "I know. It's punch. I made it AYOB, just for you. Add Your Own Booze."

Lan Wangji considers him, surprised. They've known each other for ages, but they've never been close. Lan Wangji just always assumed they were different kinds of people. He always assumed he was a different sort from most people.

But maybe he's beginning to realize that may not matter much.

He takes the cup, and they all toast.

To Wei Ying, and to closing night.

A while later, Lan Wangji is not so certain of the punch. He holds it out to Nie Huaisang.

"Is this...you. Alcohol?"

Nie Huaisang raises an eyebrow and pats his hand.

"For normal humans, no, but for you, sweetie, I guess."

"What is...it?"

"I topped it with boozy cherries. That's all."

Lan Wangji frowns, and Nie Huaisang snorts.

"Drink water," he says. "You have plenty of time to sober up from your .000000000001% blood alcohol concentration."

Just then, Wen Qing falls into the group, sweating and happy, reaching for a water bottle.

"How's the boring corner?" she asks, taking a swig. "Isn't anybody gonna dance? It's really just me and Wei Ying out there holding it down for the whole cast?"

At the mention of Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji perks up. "Dance?"

Wen Qing exchanges a Look with Nie Huaisang. "Yeah but we're all taking a break for a minute," she says. "When we're rested...do you want to dance with WY?"

Lan Wangji has the odd feeling something is happening he can't quite grasp, and it frustrates him. But these...these are his friends?

"No," he says.

Wen Qing makes a complicated face that he also can't understand.

"Don't know how," he finishes.

"Ah..." she says. "Buf if you did, you would."

Lan Wangji nods, glum. He would love to dance with Wei Ying. To be near him, really, in any way he could. Just to see his face, to bask in his glow.

"Poetic, for a drunk," says Nie Huaisang.

Lan Wangji frowns at him.

A chime sounds, and Wen Qing checks her phone.

"Hey, you've been drinking enough water, right?"

Lan Wangji nods.

"Do you know where the bathroom is?"

He thinks, then shakes his head.

"Well," she says, "you need to know that little piece of information don't you?"

Lan Wangji nods. It will become essential at some point.

"Ok. Come on," she says, beckoning. "Come with me, I can show you real quick. Okay?"

Lan Wangji looks around at the others. That sense that something else is happening grows stronger. But Nie Huaisang is shooing him, and everyone else is suddenly staring at their phones, unconcerned. He turns and follows her. She leads him down the hall. They turn, and she stops so suddenly he bumps into her.

"Sor—"

She claps a hand over his mouth. He stares at her with wide eyes. She puts a finger to her lips, then taps her ear and points to the door beside them, open just a crack.

He blinks, and then...listens.

Voices. Quiet but distinct. Just beyond the door.

Wei Wuxian's voice.

Lan Wangji jolts, and tries to run. He doesn't want to overhear anything Wei Wuxian might be doing in a bedroom. But Wen Qing holds him fast, her expression set. She taps her ear again. He can't help but hear.

"...driving me crazy," Wei Wuxian sighs.

Lan Wangji closes his eyes, but Wen Qing's grip on him just tightens.

"It's been weeks," comes another voice. Lan Wangji recognizes it as Wen Ning, Wen Qing's sister and Wei Wuxian's friend. "Why haven't you done anything about it?"

"Because! He doesn't even like me."

"He's here, isn't he?"

An exaggerated, frustrated sound. "Yeah because he's polite and I practically begged him, like the pathetic idiot I am."

"People don't borrow costumes and buy unnecessary birthday gifts and come to parties just to be polite."

"HE does!!! He's—ok fine, it's not just politeness, it's—he's—kind. And sweet. And—"

"This sounds so familiar."

"Stop."

"Almost like I've heard it somewhere before."

"Shut up."

"Oh! I know! It's because I have heard it before! Like, every day since you met him."

This was not what Lan Wangji feared. But he still very much does not want to hear it.

"Fine. I get it! Done talking."

"I'm not trying to stop you talking, I'm trying to get you to do something."

There is a long silence. Lan Wangji glances at Wen Qing, who's watching him with a shrewd look.

"What do you suggest, then," says Wei Wuxian. He sounds tired.

"You're kidding, right? You're asking me? Just—I don't know, do one of your you things. That's never not worked before."

Wei Wuxian makes a defeated noise. "Even you have to admit there's no precedent for this," he says. "There's just...there's nobody else like Lan Wangji."

Lan Wangji flinches at the sound of his name, and he tries to fit it into the rest of the conversation. He doesn't...he doesn't understand. They...it had sounded as if they were talking about someone Wei Wuxian has some sort of hopeless crush on, which was already ridiculous.

But then they were talking about him.

And that. Those two things...they don't...go together.

He looks up at Wen Qing, who is still watching him. Slowly, she takes her hand off of his face. He blinks at her.

"I don't know about that," says Wen Ning, "because I don't know him as well as you do. In fact, it seems like almost nobody knows him as well as you do. And it's only been a few weeks. Do you see what I'm saying? He talks to you. With words! Voluntarily!"

"A-Ning," Wei Wuxian says, suddenly harsh. "He made it clear from the start that he doesn't even want me so much as touching him. Ever, if it can be helped. Please, just. Stop trying to encourage me to push him somewhere he obviously doesn't want to go. Just let me be sad, ok?"

A long silence.

"Alright," says Wen Ning. "I get it."

"Thank you."

"But I'm not gonna let you be sad on your birthday. Plenty of time to mope tomorrow, right? Tonight, we Monster Mash. Up. Let's go. Move it."

There is a sudden rustling, and Wei Wuxian laughs weakly, and then Wen Qing is hustling Lan Wangji back through the living room, to the kitchen.

He doesn't see any of it. Nothing feels real.

"Mission accomplished?" he hears Nie Huaisang say.

"Affirmative," answers Wen Qing. "Hey." She shakes Lan Wangji's shoulder.

He looks up. They're all staring at him.

"Fuck, Huaisang, did you get him too drunk?"

"I tried not to get him ANY drunk!!"

"I'm not drunk," Lan Wangji protests.

"You're a little drunk," says MianMian. "But you...heard what you needed to hear, right?"

Lan Wangji glances around. "Me?"

There is a collective groan.

Lan Wangji needs to sit down. He breaks away from them, and pushes through the crowd to the front door. He goes outside, to the street, and sits on the curb.

He stays there until it is time to leave.

The show that night is electric.

The audience is more responsive, louder, and everyone on stage is having more fun. Even the movie on the screen behind them seems more excited.

Wei Wuxian is in his element. He is powerful, playful, funny, and unbearably sexy.

Lan Wangji feels...alive. But strangely distant. As if none of this is happening to him, but it's more fun than ever to watch.

Until he himself goes on. And then, very suddenly, everything is happening to him at once.

He feels more naked when they pull the shroud off him. He feels warmer when Wei Wuxian praises him, when he almost-touches his thigh, his arm. He feels like the barrier between them is thinner. Less real than it ever has been. Like maybe it's not even there at all.

At the end of that first long scene, somehow, something comes over him. When Rocky and the Dr. go into the honeymoon suite, before the curtain closes, Lan Wangji wraps his arms around Wei Wuxian and picks him up.

He's the only one close enough to hear the shocked sound he makes.

He's the only one who feels Wei Wuxian's legs wrap around his hips.

He's the only one who gets to appreciate how quickly Wei Wuxian recovers, and turns it back into a performance, before the curtain closes.

And then, for about five seconds, he's the only one behind the curtain with him.

They stare at each other in the almost-dark, breathing hard, suddenly touching more than most people do unless in a truly compromising position. Wei Wuxian is searching his face, his mouth almost forming a question. His eyes catch on Lan Wangji's lips.

They both hold their breath.

But then stagehands rush past, and Lan Wangji lets him down so they can both go to their next positions.

The show goes on. And on. And Lan Wangji thinks, maybe, possibly, there's something more in the looks Wei Wuxian sends his way. Something true.

He dares to hope.

When they go back for the quick-change, Nie Huaisang is clapping at him.

"Little did I know, alcohol was the secret all along! You were really shaking your booty out there! What the hell??"

Wei Wuxian whips around to look at him. "You're—you drank?"

"No," Lan Wangji says, as he laces himself in. "Not...on purpose."

Nie Huaisang snorts as he finishes his makeup. "It was literally cherry juice. How do you live?"

"I'm not—"

But their time is up. They all go back out and finish the show. When it's over, and they've taken their bows, Lan Wangji loses track of himself and of time. Everything is so hectic, and euphoric, and bittersweet. But he receives and gives more promises of meals and coffees and movie nights than he's ever had in his life. And he's not mad at it.

Everyone is supposed to change and go back to Nie Huaisang's apartment for the yearly closing night sleepover, but Lan Wangji is stalled before he can get back to the dressing rooms.

Jiang Yanli pulls him aside. She looks worried. "He didn't get a chance to open your gift," she says. "I'm sorry."

"It's no trouble," he says, though his heart does sink a little. If he had opened it, he would probably already know how Lan Wangji feels.

"Are you sure? I could go get it. Bring it to Huaisang's?"

"No, really," he says. "But thank you. It's a very kind offer."

Jiang Yanli nods, though she still looks troubled.

"Please," he says. "Don't worry." He looks up. Jin Zixuan is hovering a ways away, holding their coats. "Someone's waiting for you," he adds.

Jiang Yanli glances back, and grins. "Maybe you'll know the feeling soon."

He blinks at her, and she leans up to kiss him on the cheek.

"Good luck," she says, and leaves with a small wave.

Lan Wangji stares after her until she's gone out the door.

Now that the alcohol has worn off, he's better able to understand the sheer amount of people who seem to not only know about, but be directly involved in his affairs. Affairs which even he was not aware of, until they interfered. Embarassment and gratefulness have a brief battle in his stomach, only to both be beaten down by the sheer power of nerves.

He turns down the hall toward the dressing rooms, and runs almost directly into Wei Wuxian.

"Oh," Wei Wuxian says. "Um, hi."

He's still in costume, too. Almost everyone else has gone.

"Hello."

He doesn't know what else to say. They are standing very close.

"You...were. You were really great," Wei Wuxian says. "Not just tonight! You just did...overall. A great job."

"Thank you," says Lan Wangji. "You are always incredible."

"Ah...ha. Wow. Always so earnest, Lan Wang—"

"Lan Zhan," Lan Wangji interrupts suddenly. "You can...call me Lan Zhan."

Nobody has called him this name since he was small. But he wants Wei Ying to know—wants everyone to know—that he is different. Special.

"Oh," Wei Wuxian breathes. "Alright." He pauses, then speaks softly. "Always so earnest, Lan Zhan."

Lan Wangji lets out a shaky breath. "Do you mind?"

"I—no. I don't...mind."

"Good," says Lan Wangji, and leans in.

"Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian says, leaning away.

Lan Wangji straightens, his heart falling through his stomach. He looks at the floor, certain he's misunderstood the whole night.

"Wei Ying." He’s about to apologize, to say his goodbyes, but—

"You're drunk."

He snaps his eyes up to him just in time to see his hand, hesitant, retreating. He reaches out and takes it.

"I'm not," he says. "I was tipsy earlier. At the party. But not now."

Wei Wuxian is looking at him doubtfully. "If you're not used to it, you may not realize what—"

"Wei Ying. I am not drunk. But I do want to k—"

"Aha, ah, I think, maybe, sometimes, in situations where energy is heightened, maybe if we have any new, ah. Impulses. We should give them, like, a full day before we act on them, or say things we might regret. You know? That's my rule, these days. Wish I would have thought of it when I was 20, am I right?"

Lan Wangji is torn between frustration and horrible fondness.

"I'm not feeling any new impulses," he says.

"You're not," says Wei Wuxian. He looks confused.

Lan Wangji would smile if he weren't so scared. "No."

"Then I...think I may have misinterpreted something. What—what are we talking about?"

"We are talking about the fact that I would like to kiss you," says Lan Wangji. "That I have wanted to kiss you for...quite some time. But if you'd prefer I didn't, then of course—"

Suddenly, Wei Wuxian is kissing him. It is warm, and soft, and entirely too short.

He pulls back just enough to look at him, his fingers light under Lan Wangji's jaw, tipping his face up. They're about the same height, but in these shoes, Wei Wuxian is taller.

Lan Wangji's heart skips several beats.

"Sorry," Wei Wuxian breathes, hot against Lan Wangji's suddenly hyper-sensitive mouth. "You wanted to—"

Lan Wangji interrupts him this time, leaning up, closing the scant distance. He doesn't know how not to be hesitant, all of his anxieties balled up in his chest. But Wei Wuxian matches this hesitance with gentleness, with something unbearable that approaches reverence. When he presses closer, their knees brush, and he startles back.

"Sorry, I didn't mean—I know you don't—I mean, I said I wouldn't—"

Lan Wangji is shaking his head, he can't find the words to tell him that that was before, that he was grateful, but now things have changed, and he wants him close, as close as he can get him. So he steps forward, into his space. Thighs touch, and chests, and he runs his fingertips down the fake tattoo, and then the real ones, on Wei Wuxian's arm. He takes his hand and holds it. Then he looks up, into his darkened, surprised eyes, and away.

He has exhausted his meager supply of boldness. He hopes it is enough for Wei Wuxian to understand.

"I..." Wei Wuxian says. "You want..."

"Anything, with you," Lan Wangji says, ears heating. "Very much."

He wonders if Wei Wuxian can feel the frantic beating of his heart. If it would make a difference. And then Wei Wuxian is kissing him, and kissing him, all gentleness, all hesitance gone. He presses into him, presses him back, into the wall, and kisses him, hard and deep, and just as hungry as Lan Wangji feels.

A door bangs open, somewhere. They both freeze. Wei Wuxian stares at him, makeup smudged, both their shades of lipstick all over his lovely mouth. He takes Lan Wangji’s hand and pulls, dragging him along, down the hall, and Lan Wangji's face burns as he tries for the thousandth time to keep his eyes off how Wei Wuxian's body moves in the costume lingerie.

They stop, and Wei Wuxian opens a door, and pulls him inside. He clicks on the light, revealing a dusty broom closet, before diving back forward, pressing Lan Wangji into the door. It's cold against Lan Wangji's exposed shoulders, against his ass. But Wei Wuxian is warming pretty much everything else.

He forgets very quickly all his anxieties, all his uncertainty, the fact that he doesn't know what this is or what it means. If Wei Wuxian has ever wanted anything more than this. If he even dates. It doesn't matter. If he can have this, he'll take it. His mind goes quiet in the rush.

He holds onto Wei Wuxian's waist as his weight sinks into him, the rough material almost grounding him as Wei Wuxian overwhelms his senses. He does his best to keep up, to meet him beat for beat, but Wei Wuxian is unsurprisingly stellar at this too.

His hands are everywhere, as if all the touch Lan Wangji has been wishing for all this time is coming to him at once. Fingers in his hair, on his neck, a palm firm on his hip. A thigh between his, the strange texture of fishnets against fishnets as he nudges Lan Wangji's legs apart. Lan Wangji's breaths come shorter as the kiss goes on, deepens, multiples, as the lines between their bodies blur, as they tangle together. He breaks away to breathe, and Wei Wuxian apologizes again.

"Sorry," he pants. "Is this too fast? Or even. Too much? We can. Should stop, if—"

"No," Lan Wangji says, vehement, his grip tightening. "No."

He swallows, and has to look away. Wei Wuxian is too beautiful, too perfectly debauched, too close. He's getting ridiculously hard in his stupid skimpy underwear, and he knows Wei Wuxian can feel it. He doesn't know if that's okay or not.

"I don't want to stop if you don't," he says. "But I...am not practiced at this. I apologize if—"

Wei Wuxian kisses him. "Don't apologize," he says. "You're killing me. Do you even know how hot—nevermind. Can I—?"

He reaches down and brushes his hand against cheap stretch satin. Lan Wangji nods, his throat too constricted to respond. His mind has gone blank. He doesn't know what he expects, but it is not for Wei Wuxian to go to his knees.

"Finally," he hears him murmur, as his fingers hook in Lan Wangji's waistband and pull.

The underwear will go no further than the snaps keeping his thigh highs up, but Wei Wuxian doesn't seem bothered.

"Fuck," he breathes, his black-lacquered fingernails digging into Lan Wangji's thigh.

Lan Wangji doesn't have time to wonder if that's a positive reaction before Wei Wuxian's mouth is on him. He has no idea if Wei Wuxian is good at this as well, because as soon as he drags his tongue along his skin, he exits reality entirely. Pleasure shivers out in waves from the wet heat, the pressure, the insistent rhythm.

He thinks he is being quiet, keeping still, but he can't be certain. He's not even sure he's breathing. But then Wei Wuxian sucks, and he jerks forward. He's about to apologize, but Wei Wuxian makes a truly shockingly obscene sound, which in return makes him nearly come. He pushes at Wei Wuxian's shoulder, and Wei Wuxian backs off, and wipes at his ruined mouth with the back of his hand.

"You can do that," he says, hoarse and low. Lan Wangji's stomach tightens, and his cock flexes. "Fuck," Wei Wuxian says, watching. "You can—you can hold on and fuck my—"

Lan Wangji hauls him up and stops him short with another kiss. Wei Wuxian sighs and leans into it, applying the same skill with his tongue as he was using just a moment ago, and Lan Wangji makes a small, wanting sound.

"You don't want that?" Wei Wuxian asks. He smiles. "It looked like you did."

Lan Wangji swallows hard, unsure of what to say.

"I don't not want it," he says. "If that is all you—if that is your preference, then..."

"Lan Zhan," says Wei Wuxian, soothing. "Don't be nervous. What do you want?"

Lan Wangji looks into his kind, serious eyes, and decides to be brave.

"I want you here, where I can hold you," he says, though it embarrasses him terribly. "I want to kiss you, to see your face, to feel...together."

"Oh," says Wei Wuxian, his eyes round and dark. "Oh, I..." he takes a deep breath. And then he kisses him.

Slower, this time. Thorough, and thoughtful. Unhurried. It makes Lan Wangji's fingers dig deeper into Wei Wuxian's waist.

"You would've taken me to dinner first, wouldn't you," Wei Wuxian says when they part.

"Infinite dinners," Lan Wangji says, to be clear. "Just for the privilege of eating with you."

"Oh, fuck," says Wei Wuxian, shutting his eyes and leaning their foreheads together. "I thought you were—that this was just..."

"It can be," says Lan Wangji, hopeless and hopeful at once, "if you'd like."

"No," says Wei Wuxian, taking his face in both hands, and kissing him roughly. "No, I wouldn't. I want infinite dinners."

They kiss again, and it's different. Less measured, less hurried, but more urgent, somehow. Wei Wuxian is kissing him less like he wants to impress him and more like he wants to climb inside him and stay.

Lan Wangji wants nothing more than to let him.

They start to move together, and Wei Wuxian's kisses move down, to Lan Wangji's throat.

"You can touch me too, you know," he says, with a gentle bite. "Pretty please."

Lan Wangji pries his grip from his waist and moves his hands down, underneath Wei Wuxian's glittery underwear.

"Yeah," breathes Wei Wuxian into his ear as he grinds against him.

Lan Wangji squeezes, somewhat involuntarily, and Wei Wuxian makes another one of those sounds that go straight to Lan Wangji's cock. He lets go of Lan Wangji's hip to push the fabric down, out of the way, and the sudden drag of skin on skin has Lan Wangji making a fairly shocking sound of his own.

He can't help but look down, to see them together, but it's a mistake. He has to grit his teeth to hold back from the edge. His head falls back against the door, and Wei Wuxian goes back to thoroughly bruising his throat.

"It's okay," he says between kisses and nips to his skin. "Let me feel you let go, Lan Zhan."

Lan Wangji's labored breaths start to hitch. Wei Wuxian takes hold of Lan Wangji's thigh and lifts it, pulls it against his waist, fingers rough through the netting.

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji breathes, senseless, "you'll rip them."

"Good," says Wei Wuxian, and thrusts against him.

They kiss, and gasp, and move, until Lan Wangji groans into Wei Wuxian's mouth.

"Wei Ying," he warns.

"Yes," Wei Wuxian answers. He pushes a hand between them, and holds them together, firm, as they keep moving.

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji gasps tightly, as he breaks apart.

Wei Wuxian kisses him through it, and then follows him with a soft moan of his name in his ear.

Lan Wangji shudders, his body trying to react again in ways it can't just yet. They stay there, a jumble of limbs against the door, trying to catch their breath, until Wei Wuxian pushes back.

"Fuck, we're a mess," he says. "We should—we should clean up."

"Yes," says Lan Wangji, though he suspects he would agree to anything Wei Wuxian said just now.

"And then..." Wei Wuxian looks around, uncertain. "I guess. To Huaisang's?"

Maybe not anything.

Lan Wangji shakes his head. "I do not want to go to Huaisang's."

Wei Wuxian glances at him, and then away. "Home, then."

Lan Wangji takes another small leap of faith.

"Yours, or mine?"

"Oh, thank god," Wei Wuxian says, and melts against him again. "Thank fucking god."

They clean up, and they go back to Lan Wangji's place. His brother just happens to not be home. Nobody tries to contact either of them until the following day, at which point they receive twin texts from Nie Huaisang:

"staying hydrated, boys?"

Neither of them answer.

But they do thank him, and the entire village of the rest of them, years later at the wedding.

💋The End💋

#mdzsnet #theuntameddaily #lan wangji #wei wuxian #wangxian #yet another twt import #my fic #sharing is caring? hope you guys have fun <3

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winter-soldier-vibes · 3 years

Note

Hey darling ❤️ love your writing 3000 :) can u do one with Bucky x reader (they’re together) where he overhears the reader on the phone with her parents that are emotionally & verbally abusive towards her (they always have been) and the reader has to explain it all to him afterwards even tho she’s having a panic attack (bc she’s afraid bucky will leave her since she has no one else to go to ??) and bucky comforts her and reassures her that he’s gonna be there for her and like comfort fluff? I live in an emotionally abusive and manipulative household rn and I tell you your fics are like an escape for me. Even if u don’t do this thank you from the bottom of my heart :)

Hey there, I love you 3000 ❤ I am so so sorry to hear about your situation, and while I'm glad to hear that my writing is an escape for you, I want you to know that I'm here for you. No one should have to go through what you described. I hope that this can bring you some comfort but please, I encourage you to reach out to someone who can help you. My DM's are open as well, you shouldn't face this alone. I'm here for you!!!

You owe them nothing

Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3200 (ish)

Warnings: emotional abuse/gaslighting, manipulation, parent issues, tears, angst, breakdown, fluff.

---------

You really tried to keep it hidden. It wasn’t something that everyone needed to know about.

Your parents loved you, at least that’s what they had said. But it was one of those things where you felt like it was for show - the kindness that they showed when you were around others faded away once you were alone with them.

You remember once they had said “of course I love you, I’m your parent!”

But that made you wonder how they would treat you if you weren’t theirs.

They were horrible to you for as long as you could remember. Gaslighting you and making you feel like you owed them something even though they were the ones who should have taken care of you.

They were around but never…there. They would be there for family dinners but they were always riddled with criticisms of grades and who you were talking to and how you dressed. All of your hobbies were seen as a waste of time, something you should only do when you had nothing else to do. School came first, naturally, but there was always something they told you you had to do before you could do anything for yourself.

Yet when you would complain about being depressed, they told you to get a hobby because you never do anything.

Tired meant lazy, energetic and passionate meant loud and annoying. When you were quiet they thought you had nothing to say, yet when you expressed your opinions you were told to shut up.

You couldn’t win.

You could never make them happy, there was always something you were doing wrong.

They thought it was their right to monitor who you talked to and saw, what you did outside of school, what sports you could join. When you would say no to the school dances or parties you would make up an excuse about not wanting to go or having work to do. Your friends would call you a buzz kill. Little did they know you would give anything to go.

Whenever you would do something wrong (or anything, period,), your parents would yell at you. They would curse you out, make you cry, only to yell at you for crying like a little bitch.

The older you got, the worse it was.

You thought when you moved out it would be better. But you had all these years of being told you were worthless and having them be your providers. When you got your own place you didn’t really have any friends, nor did you really know how to make friends. You had a job to help you get by, you could support yourself. That wasn’t the issue. You could support yourself, you always had to.

It was that you were so lonely.

You wanted friends but you were so afraid of the criticism you would get. You were afraid to make yourself known, because you were always taught that being told what to do and taught what to think was much more appealing than having your opinion.

But this was an opinionated world.

You were good at what you did, so good that you had gotten a job at S.H.I.E.L.D. You thought that would make you happy, more importantly that it would make your parents happy, but no such luck.

“I got a really great job, guys.”

“Fantastic. I guess you’re just doing so great without us,” they had snapped.

“What? I mean… this is what you wanted right? For me to get a good job?” you had said, confused.

You heard a loud sigh on the other end of the line. “Of course we do, what are you crazy about? Of course we wanted you to get a good job but you just deserted us like we were trash. Have we done nothing for you?”

You felt your heart sink in your stomach. ‘Of course you guys have, I love -”

“Don’t say what you don’t mean. If you really cared about us you’d be helping us out. You got a great job and probably have a huge paycheck that you hoard and you left us here to struggle to make ends meet.”

You took the phone away from your face temporarily to take a shaky breath. Of course they would go there with the salary, why wouldn’t they? All of your paychecks had gone to them, since it was their house and they were feeding you, leaving you with barely enough money for your car and gas and phone bills, only for them to suggest longer hours when you complained.

“I can help you guys out if you need,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

You heard an exasperated sigh on the other line again. “You really should be more grateful, you know? We raised you your entire life and then you leave us alone? You never even call us? You’re so fucking selfish.”

Then the line went dead.

You shook your head and felt tears in your eyes as you spoke to yourself. “Well maybe I would call you if it didn’t always yell at me.”

Of course, you would never say that.

See, it wasn’t so bad. You never said anything because they were only ever mean to you, which would make you uncomfortable. There were people out there that would get hit or who would have to raise themselves from a young age. Once you grew thick skin it wasn’t so bad, you were just being dramatic.

Right?

Your new job was fairly successful, you were fantastic at what you did. You did a lot of behind the scenes work, weapon repair and plans of action with missions. Not that they needed much help with that. Still, they took you in as their friends.

Well, as close as you would let them get to as friends.

It took a while before you warmed up to them. Everyone tended to keep to themselves, but not as much as you. You kept the parts of you hidden away - you were there for a job, you did it, and you did it well. You knew how to do your job but interacting with the team, making friends - you didn’t want to get emotionally attached.

Not like you knew how to make friends to begin with.

Naturally you were drawn to the quieter side of the team, once you were able to open up. They were all nice but sometimes the parties and the jokes were a bit much. You just didn’t want to say or do the wrong thing that would make you the punchline.

No one needed to know about you, or how you would spend your free time being yelled at through a phone with you trying to make it better. That wasn’t part of the job, so you shouldn’t bring it up.

It wasn’t like anyone would want to help. You were just a nuisance to everyone around you.

Right?

No one talked about their life before the team much. Not many people on the team had a great life before the Avengers first came together. Natasha or Wanda had once spoken about how this team was a family. And as much as you wanted to believe it, you helped the team. You weren’t a part of the team. So even if that were true, it didn’t include you.

At least, that was your point of view.

The team viewed you as a part of the team as much as any of them. You didn’t fight with them but you made sure everything would go as smoothly. You were kind and great at what you did, but they wished you would open up more. Of course, being a team of people who had trouble opening up, they understood.

Bucky was one of the ones who took a liking to you, mostly because he saw a lot of himself in you. He could tell there was something that you were trying to get past but weren’t quite able to yet. That there was something bothering but you wouldn’t dare say it for fear of bothering someone. You threw yourself into projects and distractions and from the way you carried yourself, he guessed you were avoiding something that you weren’t ready to work through. At least, not yet.

He knew that feeling too well.

The ex-assassin was one of the easiest for you to open up to because he didn’t expect much from interactions. Both of you were quiet and kept to yourselves that there wasn’t much pressure to share anything or say anything. You knew his past but would never bring it up unless he wanted to. Which eventually, he did. You could tell he felt pressure to be who he was before HYDRA took him, and while Steve was surprised he opened up to you first, you weren’t. Steve knew Bucky before everything, and you didn’t have that bias. He was whoever he was today regardless of who he was yesterday.

And Bucky found comfort in that.

You think you would’ve too, if you thought you deserved it enough to do the same.

See, you were worried that you were making everything worse than it really was. You worried that maybe you were being too sensitive or that what you had grown up with was normal. With everything that everyone on the team went through, a few insults from your parents was hardly anything. You were being dramatic.

There was nothing to be sad or angry about. You just had to get over yourself.

Right?

You were getting by until one night when your parents called, as they did on occasion. You were in the middle of working, so you ignored it. The phone went to voicemail before it started ringing again, and you ignored it, again. The third time you sighed and picked up your phone, turning away from your work.

You took a deep breath before you answered. “Hello?”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

You closed your eyes and brought a hand to rub your head. “Well I’m doing fine, thank you, how are you?”

“Don’t give me that attitude. What the fuck are you doing? You’ve been ignoring our calls.”

You stood up to pace the floor slightly, dreading the conversation that was coming. Is it the ‘family is most important’ or the ‘where’s my money?’ speech today? “I’ve been working.”

“What, so work is more important than family now? Is that what this is? You don’t care about us?”

Family speech it is.

“Dad -”

“What if one of us was dying? Huh? Would that be important?”

“Stop it. No one is dying, and I was working. And I have more work to do, so I really have to go.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, I’m your father.”

Gaining confidence you gritted your teeth and snapped, “You know what? I’m an adult now so you can’t tell me what to do.”

There was silence on the other end of the line and you could practically hear the steam coming out of your father’s ears.

At some point Bucky had come down to your working space to check on you, seeing as it was nearly morning. He stopped in the doorway, and seeing you were busy on the phone he thought he would stop by later to give you some privacy. But he stopped when he heard you snap.

You never snap.

“Who do you think you’re talking to you ungrateful little bitch?”

“I’m talking to the people who treated me like shit my entire life and ask me for money when you wouldn’t give me the time of day for 18 fucking years.”

Even you couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth. But god did it feel good to say them.

“Are you fucking serious right now? We did nothing for you? What do you think we’ve been doing your whole life? We’ve done everything we did to help you be the best person you could be. You have that job now because of us and you have no right to speak to me that way.”

You chuckled darkly as you looked up at the ceiling, unaware of Bucky’s presence behind you. “My entire life all I’ve ever wanted to do was make you guys proud of me. But you know what? I’m fucking done. You hated me, gaslighted me, and made me hate myself almost as much if not more than you seemed to hate me.”

“I did no such thing you ungrateful -”

“You were supposed to love me and care for me, and all you did was take advantage of me. I’m not your child, I’m a paycheck. I don’t owe you anything because you gave me nothing. So you know what? FUCK. YOU.”

You hung up the phone and tossed it across the room, adrenaline taking over your body as you tried to stop shaking. Because a small part of you felt bad.

But fuck did that feel amazing.

You heard a throat clear behind you and you turned around to see Bucky, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“You okay?”

You nodded nervously, rubbing the sides of your arms. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you said, unconvincingly. “How much, uh...how much did you -

“Enough,” he said, pushing himself off of the door frame as he crossed over to you. “Who was that?”

“Bucky, don’t, it’s really fine. I just got a little worked up.”

“Y/n,” he started, looking at you with concern. “Who were you talking to?”

“No one.”

“You don’t get upset like that at no one,” he took your hands in his. “Y/n, you're shaking.”

It was then that you realized your hands were still shaking, trying to keep the anxiety of what happened at bay.

It’s going to be so much worse now.

I can never talk to them again.

Is that a good thing? Didn’t I want that?

Bucky could sense you getting lost in your head. “Sweetheart, tell me what happened, please. I want to help you.”

You pulled your hands away from his and crossed your arms. “You can’t help me because there’s nothing wrong, okay? I handled it, it’s over. Done. nothing to worry about.”

“Y/n -”

“No really, there’s nothing you can do, okay?”

“Will you at least let me try?”

You looked at him, adrenaline starting to drain from your system. This was Bucky, your Bucky, who had never done anything but love and support you. He had never done anything to hurt you.

But what if he left you too?

You took in a sharp breath and curled in on yourself, a scared look on your face. Bucky crossed back over to you, seeing a scared look on your face.

“Hey, hey, y/n? Can you look at me?”

You brought your eyes up to meet his, feeling your chest constricting as you tried to keep your breathing even. It wasn’t working.

“I - I’m sorry, you shouldn’t… I’m fine really I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”

“Hey, it’s alright, it’s okay, you have nothing to apologize for,” he pulled you in for a hug and kissed the top of your head. “Let’s go sit down, okay?’

He led you over to your bed and you leaned forward, hands on your knees and head in your hands. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s happening, this - I’m sorry, it’s so stupid, I’m so stupid.”

Bucky rubbed a hand up and down your back, hushing you. “It’s not stupid. If it’s bothering you, it’s not stupid.” Bucky took a small breath. “Do you remember all of those times after nightmares and all those panic attacks you would walk me through? How I thought I was being stupid?”

“You weren’t being stupid”

“And neither are you.”

You took some more shaky breaths as tears kept falling down your face. “You’re okay. It’s alright, I’m right here.”

Bucky let you calm down, knowing you would talk about it if you wanted to. He wanted you to talk about it so he could help you (and hurt whoever upset you) but he wouldn’t force you into telling him anything you didn’t want to.

The two of you sat in the silence, Bucky looking at you with soft eyes as you kept your face hidden.

“I haven’t told you a goddamn thing about me. You ever wonder why?”

You looked over at Bucky, eyebrows creased with slight confusion.

“They said blood was supposed to be thicker than water. That family comes first, right? I spent my whole life listening to them and following them and being the perfect kid. I made myself into everything they wanted me to be. And it still wasn’t enough for them.”

Bucky tilted his head slightly. He hadn’t known his parents much before they died but he had always wanted to have more time. But he wasn’t oblivious to the fact that not everyone had good parents.

“You know, I remember thinking that once I made it they would be happy. That if I worked hard enough or went onto do great things that they would be proud of me. That’s all I ever wanted, you know?” you said, voice wavering as you let out a bitter laugh. “But it’s not, you know? Never is, never was, never will be. All they do is take and take and no matter how good I am they’re always gonna hate me because I can’t be perfect.”

“No one’s perfect, y/n.”

“Well that’s what they want me to be. I know I can’t be perfect so I know they’ll never be happy. That they’ll call me ungrateful and selfish for succeeding and for leaving them when they never wanted me to be there to begin with.” You felt tears spill over as you wiped them away. “And I’m ust so fucking done with being a disappointment to them and to everyone else.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“I don’t know,” you said softly, not really wanting to be more vulnerable.

Bucky, sensing this was a time he could push you, challenged you. “I think you do.”

You shook your head. “I didn’t want anyone to see me the way they did. I thought what they said wasn’t true but...I just thought that maybe I was overreacting. Other people have it worse you know - some people have no parents or some have it so much worse. Mine just yell at me you know? Tell me everything’s my fault and that they wish they’d never had me. That I’m ungrateful for not being with them and that I owe them. I just...I heard that for the first 18 years of my life. I didn’t need any more of it.”

“y/n, that’s…” he swallowed, trying to contain his anger. “That’s not normal. No one should have to go through that. You can’t possibly think you're a bad person.”

Your shrug was enough to tell him that you did.

“Y/n, I don’t know who your parents think they are but you don’t owe them a damn thing. You may be related to them but you have no obligation to love your parents if they treat you like that. You have every right to be angry or to hate them. It doesn’t make you a bad person to be angry with someone who hurt you.”

“But they’re my family.”

“Well they didn’t treat you like it. You have us now, you don’t need them anymore. We’re your family. And we’re not gonna leave you.”

“They didn’t leave me Bucky, I left them.”

“You can’t leave someone who was never there for you.”

----------

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